《Minced Sack》


 Chapter 1

    There was another murder in the night hours, that¡¯s what the boss says anyway.  A Lak walkin home from a typical night out in the redlight district.  Just a lil tipsy and a couple drinks away from being blasted past the astro belt.  Not that it sounds like a bad time, however no one''s really sure what happened next.  Either way it was all fucky and definitely not pleasant, I mean it¡¯s a murder and I''m supposedly obliged to say that it¡¯s not good¡­definitely not good¡­


    Gotta feel bad for the clean up crew though¡­Oh wait!  I''m a part of it¡­I feel for the Lak and its clutch, but that doesn''t mean I want to help flush out its flesh from the inside of a pipe, nor do I wanna imagine how that''s even possible.  Yet, here I am flushing out the pipe with cleaning fluid, watching as the flesh bubbles up further to the surface and stretch like chewed up gum at the bottom of my boot.  I¡­I don¡¯t really think it¡¯s supposed to do that, and I¡¯m not really sure if I should bring it up to management.  Then again it¡¯s not like I get paid enough to deal with this bullshit; so I''ll just leave it to someone else, surely they¡¯ll bring it up?  Or not¡­


    Wearily I glance back at the others and watch as they place chunks of unprocessed meat into trash bags to be disposed of in one of the city''s many furnaces.  I¡¯ve never seen meat bounce and jiggle like those small cheap candies you get from vending machines before.  It¡¯s strange, and makes my maw water.  Perhaps I can get one before turning in?  Strawberry and pomegranate sounds divine right about now, or bacon!  Bacon definitely sounds about good right now¡­


    The air in my lungs contracts and I choke on my spit as I''m pushed forward as a large weight leans on my shoulders.  Sputtering, I incline my head to peer at Boss.  A behemoth of a fucker with muscle atop muscle stacked upon each other to the point where it borders on being beyond absurd¡­Wouldn¡¯t be surprised if Boss could benchpress my body into a pipe, then I wouldn¡¯t really have to ponder how a good portion of that Lak got shoved in one.  It would save me a measly amount of sleepless nights from just being plagued with the thought.  Though then again there probably is more than one way to be shoved into a bunch of thin pipes¡­


    ¡°Oi!  Zaza what''s goin through that damn near empty head of yer?  I can just hear that empty pit ye call ya gut rumblin louder than an engine bout to explode!¡±  Boss leans forward a bit to peer into the pipe as red and pink clumps pop and sizzle out onto the ground near our feet.  ¡°Appetizing¡­¡±  Boss inclines his head back, and I can somewhat spot a broad grin spread across his flat face with his flat teeth.


    ¡°Yeh, more appetizing than that slog wash y call cookin Boss man¡­¡±  To emphasize my point I wave my arms around wildly, only to end up drenching the nearby wall with the cleaning solution I was spraying down one of the pipes¡­¡±Ta fuck they putting in this shat?¡±  I mummer as I watch the liquid sizzle and spit across the brick wall.  Slowly I turn to peer up at Boss whom is just staring at me.  ¡°Tis crap why that so-called stew y made earlier melted though the pot and the floor Boss?¡±


    ¡°...Neh, my cooking is just that good, not even damn cold hard steel could handle it Za!¡±  Snorting Boss inclines his flat head back to look back at the pipe.  ¡°Not my mother damn near fault ain¡¯t none of y twigs know what''s y good!¡±  There was a brief pause as he turned to look at me again, I can just see his beady eyes squinting down at me.  ¡°Especially y Zaza¡­especially y¡­¡±


    There was a sudden high pitched noise breaking us up from our exchange.  Like clockwork we both turned to the culprit, Boss just leaned back a bit and tilted his head, confused possibly.  And I just bent forward a bit to peer around the big bastard''s side to see what''s going on.  One of the crew is scrambling away from one of the trashbags, and said contents of the bag are once again spread out all over the ground¡­Cringing internally at the mess that was partially cleaned not too long ago, I can¡¯t help but snigger at the sight.  The wet tissue appears to be twitching, wet and pulsing in place on the ground.  A part of me can¡¯t help but feel like it¡¯s slowly inching closer and closer to me.  Impulsively I glance back at the pipes I was flushing out not long ago, and then to the hose that I¡¯m still holding.  Maybe I should just continue what I was doing before being so rudely interrupted by the Boss man¡­


    This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.


    ¡°TE HELL Y DOIN LAD?  Supposed to be cleanin the mess, not making it worse boy!¡±  Boss motioned to the newly remade mess as he spoke before motioning to the culprit Right¡­or his twin Left to explain the disarray of meat everywhere once again¡­


    ¡°Uhh I¡­I it, IT TOUCHED ME BOSS!¡±  Right blabbered out as he stumbled behind his sister who just looked as perplexed as everyone else.


    Even if no one was looking my way, I can just feel eyes peeling away layer after layer of my being and staring into my very core.  Cocking my head to the side I listen as big Boss sighs in resigned frustration.  As I point the hose back in the pipe, and watch once again as more meat bulges to the surface past the pipes opening.  The sound of wet popping meat is much more preferable than the feeling of being stared down¡­


    Oh, poor Right¡­Poor little thing¡­


    ¡°To the void below, WHAT do y mean it touched y?  It¡¯s a bloody corpse¡­One that¡¯s most likely stinking up what lil sense y even got in that head of yer!¡±


    ¡°I¡­IT DID!  TELLING YOU BOSS IT DID!  IT JUST¡­JUST REACHED OUT TA BAG AND TOUCHED ME HAND IT DID!  I SWEAR IT DID TOO BOSS!¡±  Right shuddered as he looked around then back to his sister, as though he couldn¡¯t look anyone in the eyes.  ¡°Sis, you saw it to right?¡±  There was a brief awkward pause before Right stumbled to repeat himself again asking for confirmation.  ¡°Right?¡±


    ¡°Eh?  I uh¡­I wasn¡¯t paying attention lil bro¡­was distracted a bit¡­sorry?¡±  Left stumbled on her words a bit as she motioned to one of the buildings nearby, specifically the pictures that advertise it¡¯s¡­contents¡­before shrugging.  There was some snickering from her response, and how Right deflated where he stood.


    ¡°I, I¡­M sorry, i¡¯ll¨C¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s fine lad¡­Just go sit n rest.  Y clearly need it boy¡­¡±  Boss sighed as he waved Right off before turning to look at the fleshy mess at his feet.  ¡°Ehh, Za y done with those pipes over ter?¡±


    ¡°Neh, would¡¯ve been if some of y assholes would help¡­¡±


    ¡°Little too short staffed here Zaza¡­sure y ain¡¯t done?  Y been cleanin that same damn pipe for a while now¡­¡±  Boss didn¡¯t look up from the ground as he spoke before continuing.  ¡°Lak¡¯s don¡¯t got that much meat on em¡­them higher ups didn¡¯t get em mixed up y?¡±


    ¡°Why y asking me?  I don¡¯t know Boss?  Maybe tha Lak got some funky mod or somethin¡­probably just had more to em than usual¡­¡±  Boss looked thoughtful at my response for a bit before shrugging as he retrieved the trash bag Right was using.


    ¡°Probably right¡­Just this is strange, even for me.  Gotta admit it too Za, everythin has been gettin real strange as of late¡­¡±  Frowning Boss looked back to Right who is now sitting a bit away.  ¡°Eugh, gotta write a damn report later bout this crap though¡­¡±  Rubbing his face tiredly, Boss then looks at me again with a gleam in his red eyes.  ¡°Ay, y don¡¯t mind written it for me Za?  Just like old times, right?¡±  I can just hear his grin, and I just glare at him.


    ¡°Fuck off y fuckin lazy ass cheap whore cu¨C¡±


    ¡°Buy y some booze at that pub y like y?  Calmior balinor y?¡±


    ¡°Fine¡­¡±


    ¡°Still donna deduct y pay for wasting product.¡±


    ¡°Fuck y¡±

 Chapter 2

    Calmior Balinor, a small dingy bar that''s not really noticeable,then again there isn¡¯t much to notice in this city¡­The bar itself is hidden away in a cramped alleyway, there isn¡¯t really a sign to advertise it anymore since people kept stealing and defacing it¡­


    Sighing I nurse at the half empty glass as I peer around the bar from where I''m sitting.  It¡¯s small, and crowded even if there isn¡¯t a full house¡­doesn¡¯t really need one to feel suffocating.  It reminds me of before coming to this City planet, which is nice somewhat.  The air smells greasy, and the air conditioner is running at full power rattling the inside of the bar¡­The air is hot and I can feel condensation from the glass sticking to my hands.  How very¡­cozy, very cozy indeed¡­


    Sipping at the drink, I search through groups of individuals to find Boss man, only to find him to be oh so¡­nowhere¡­He most likely left a while ago while I was too busy not paying attention.  Well, only to my drinks after all.  The taste is barely there, just like anything else, and everyone else in here.


    Hidden away in one of the corners of the bar I spot poor, poor Right slouched in on himself like a snail retreating into its shell, just Righty oh doesn''t really have one.  Maybe I can make the kid one?  Might make em less antsy then he usually is, or maybe it¡¯ll just make it worse?  Or, I can just make it worse over all?  Yeah, that sounds like a brilliant idea!


    Snickering quietly more so to myself I make my way over to the jumpy lad, ignoring the bartender''s glare as I do so.  Goz always glares at people, although I can''t really tell if it¡¯s because she¡¯s always annoyed or if she just doesn''t like anyone¡­maybe it¡¯s both?  Yeah, definitely both!  Sliding ¡®gracefully¡¯ onto one of the stools in front of Right, I can¡¯t help but feel smug as I watch him sink in on himself.  No wait, concerned.  I can¡¯t help but feel concerned for the fidgety kid as he sinks in on himself.  I¡¯m not really sure that''s healthy for the back¡­


    ¡°Ta!¡±  Offering a simple greeting I shrug and give a half hearted wave with my tail.


    ¡°...Ta?¡±  Right mumbled quietly, he doesn''t really sound sure of himself but that''s fine by me.  ¡°I-ay w-whaat brings you here Zall?  I guh¡­I¡¯m still uh scrounging up that loan to pay you back¡­UH, I PROMISE I¡¯LL PAY YOU BACK IN A-a couple days?¡±  Right looks visibly sick as he speaks on and on till his words become near intelligible.  Maybe I should inform him I don¡¯t really care about that loan¡­much¡­


    Slowly I lean forward and ¡®grin¡¯ at the poor helper who just looks at me with an unsure blank face.  ¡°I saw it too¡­¡±


    I can¡¯t help but watch as Right twitches and spasms a bit, and the orange metal that makes up his body clamps tightly together.  Quickly Right jerks his head to the side and watches the rest of the bar for a moment before turning back to me.


    ¡°You¡­you saw it too?  I-I thought I was just l-loosing my mind!  Kah¡±  Shivering Right takes a couple of gulps from his drink, getting the purple sludge all over the place as he does so.  ¡°It all just clumped all together¡­Y-you know¡­Zall?  Cl-clumped all together in tha bag and t-touched me!  I¡­there was an eye, b-but I don¡¯t r-remember putting an e-eye in there¡­I-it l-l-l-LOOKED AT ME!¡±  Right¡¯s voice escalated in pitch.  Wincing visibly I glanced behind me to see some of the other patrons looking our way.


    ¡°Looked at y?  Sure y don¡¯¡¯t need them crack shoots y call eyes looked at?¡±


    Right huffed in annoyance as he stares down at what little remains of his drink.  ¡°No I think¡­I-I mean, they work fine¡­L-look it-it really did look at me!  B-before I threw the bag¡­t-the eyes were yellow, a-an sick lookin¡­¡±  Fumbling on his words the kid then finishes off his drink with a final gulp.  ¡°Y-you said you saw it too Zall, y-yeah?¡±


    ¡°Ayy t y¡±  Smiling, er well smiling as much as this head of mine would allow I peer at where I think Right¡¯s eyes are before continuing what I was going to say, whatever that really is.  ¡°Y shoulda seeeen it kid!  It was all ol bubblin in poppin at me¡­Why-why it even spoke too!  Y know what it say?¡±  Right leans forward a bit more, the slits on the front of his face widening, allowing me to see where his actual eyes are.  ¡°Tee ol ¡®elper to tha right er gonna taste ay hardy oil n junk stew, ay Righty right?¡±


    The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    Right blanched as he threw himself back from me, hitting the back of his head on the wall, causing one of the pictures behind him to fall and hit the ground.  ¡°OI, FUCK YOU, YOU DAMN METAL RAT!¡±  Right screeched as he began to rub the back of his head with blunt burnt digits.


    ¡°AYY AIN''T T RAT! YA SORRY EXCUSE OF A BLIND WORKIN SCARPE HEAP Y OVERGROWN TOASTER!¡±  Shouting, I duck my head as Right swatted at me like he was trying to get rid of an annoying fly.


    ¡°TOASTER?  TOASTER!  AT LEAST I¡±M NOT A FUCKING CRAZED PHYCHO ASS!¡±


    ¡°CRAZED?  Y THE ONE SEEIN STUFF, AN Y CALL ME CRAZY¨C¡±


    ¡°AY YOU BOTH ARE!  AN STOP BEING A SALLEN DAMN MENACE ZA, OR I¡±LL THROW YOU BOTH IN THE GRINDER!¡±  Galled I turn to the offending voice and glare, and Sassy just glares back with her overly large yellow eyes.


    ¡°I-OI!  W-why would I be thrown in the grinder too?  H-he started it!¡±  Sputtering Right pointed at me as he turned to look at the lak.


    ¡°Because you listened to him¡­idiot what did you expect?¡±  Sassy shrugged nonchalantly as she made her way over glass in hand.  ¡°Eh, Right where''s your sister anyway?¡±  Climbing up onto the stool Sassy then glances at the kid as she slides her glass onto the table.


    ¡°Uh¡­I-I er, don¡¯t really know¡­¡±  Pausing Right slumps against the table in thought.  ¡°Maybe with the big Boss y know?  I think I saw them talking earlier before leaving¡­Yeah, I saw them leave earlier.  Why?¡±


    Sassy spun on the stool as she shifted through the pockets in her jacket for a moment before pulling a small box out.  Grinning, she dumps the box of cards on the table, mixing them all up.  ¡°Because she¡¯s a neat frickin sore loser, that''s what!¡±


    ¡°Yeah, frickin somethin all right¡­¡±


    Blanching Right chokes as he whips his head to glare at me.  ¡°W-what the fuck!?  Ugh, WHHhhhhhhy?¡±  Gagging Right kicks the stool I¡¯m sitting on from underneath the table, sending me crashing on the ground before I can respond.  ¡°Daminit, I-I hope you''re the next one killed off Za!  Ugh¡­¡±


    ¡°EWOouh, ow¡­WHAT?  It¡¯s true!¡±  Throwing my hands up from where I landed I stare up at the wires hanging from the ceiling.  ¡°Y sis is fuckin loud!  Trying to sleep an m hearin screamin like someones¡¯ dyin from the building over!¡±   Craning my neck I can see Sassy passing out cards as Right is audibly retching.  ¡°Seriously kid, I pity y¡­Like I pity y a lot, a LOOooo¨C¡±


    ¡°Shut up Za.¡±  Sassy snaps as she glances down at me before picking up her glass and sipping it.  ¡°Eh, know what Za?¡±  Curiously I glance at her as I scramble to my feet as I drag the stool back a little further away from where it originally was.


    ¡°Ay?¡±  Sitting down I grab the small stack of cards she placed in front of me to look at them.


    ¡°Stop being annoying for once, and I''ll help you get a new leg¡­¡±  Glancing down at said limb Sassy glares with a disgusted look on her winkley scrunched up face.  ¡°Seriously Za, the fuck happened to your leg?¡±


    ¡°...Right took it!¡±


    ¡°I¡­What?  N-no he lost it because he got c-caught in some machinery¡­I-I didn¡¯t do it!¡±  Right mutters as he glares at me with his eyes still wide open.  Open enough to where I can just barely see specks of white float in gray orbs.  ¡°Should of l-listened to the Boss but noooo¡­¡±  Right glanced down at his drink again muttering something under his breath that I didn¡¯t quite catch.


    ¡°Oi, I didn¡¯t know it was even on!¡±  Rightfully defending myself at Right¡¯s statements.  As I try and peer at Sassy¡¯s cards only for her to smack me with them.


    ¡°They are loud!  Y-you should¡¯ve heard them.  F-forget my supposedly seeing things!  How a-about your failing hearing!¡±


    ¡°Well, y!  That''s why I muted my hearing, don¡¯t wanna go death y know!¡±  There is an undeniable stiff silence once I finished speaking, looking around the table I can see both Right and Sassy staring at me.  ¡°What?  Tis makes sense!¡±  It does!


    Sassy snorted suddenly as she started to laugh, and Right just covered his face.  Snorting like a pig, Sassy places a card at the center of the table.  ¡°Still doesn''t answer why he has a piece of junk for a left leg!¡±


    Gasping at the statement I turned away from the lak sitting by me.  ¡°Sssscuse me!  Tis my leg y insulting here!  I spent hours, HOURS scroungin the thing up y know!¡±


    ¡°Y-yeah, he made me help him b-because Boss wouldn¡¯t¡­Said it was s-stupid.¡±  Right leaned forward as he started to shift through his cards before continuing.  ¡°Which kind, kind of was¡­is¡­¡±  Right then placed two cards down, as I check to see what cards I have to place¡­fuck¡­


    ¡°And it is!  It¡¯s an ugly ass leg, it doesn''t even match Za!¡±  Snorting at Sassy¡¯s statement I tap at the table for a moment in thought.  ¡°Draw a card idiot, you don¡¯t got any greens!¡±


    ¡°OI, DON¡¯T LOOK AT M CARDS!  Look at y own y fleshy ball sack!¡±


    ¡°Says the over glorified sorry excuse of a cheap toy gun!¡±


    Grumbling under my breath I tap the small button attached to the table, and watch as a digital screen appears in front of me.  Tapping one of the drink options I wait for the pay screen to then appear before paying.


    ¡°M too sober for this, not even that tipsy¡­shat¡­¡±