《A Rough Way to Go》


 A Rough Way to Go

    Cheese and crackers, Mom, your headstone looks good. Thought we overspent on that one. Shows what I know. I see Uncle Joey got them to add the limerick like you asked. Hi-larious. Even in a cemetery, you¡¯re trying to get people to lighten up.


    Hope you don¡¯t mind if I make myself comfortable. Got something weird to tell you. Is it disrespectful to sit on a headstone? Well, I helped pay for the darn thing, so figgy pudding to anyone who tries to stop me.


    It¡¯s nice here, Mom. I¡¯m glad you get to keep watching your sunrises.


    I¡¯ve been going through the list of who to tell about the weird thing. As always, you¡¯re the one I really wanted to talk to. Maybe it¡¯s a matter for the dead, anyway.


    I¡¯ve been seeing something. Hard to explain¡ª that¡¯s half the reason I¡¯m here. Thought I could practice talking about it. Like how you¡¯d always let me run through my school presentations over and over again until I wasn¡¯t nervous anymore. I think it might be some kind of omen, this thing. That¡¯s a tame place to start. A lot of people can get on board with omens.


    It was nothing but a speck at first, and I thought my eyes were going. It didn¡¯t move around with my eyes, though. A dark spot on the horizon, always to the east, growing bigger every week. A couple of my third graders pretended to see something when I pointed. Terrible liars, bless ¡®em.


    As the speck grew, I could make out more of its shape¡ª sort of like a dog¡ª and I could see that it was walking toward me. Named it Rover.


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    You know I get that from you. How everything seems funny when I¡¯m scared. Never heard you laugh more in your life than during those last eight months. Uncle Joey was a good sport, putting up with the two of us. You know, I had dinner with him yesterday, and he looked worried for a second there. Bet I was laughing too much.


    Rover looks to be about two stories tall now. Still can¡¯t make out some of it, but I can see six legs, three tails, lots of teeth. Eyes always on me. The name gets funnier as it goes.


    Say, you think the tails might be tentacles? Just a mess of ¡®em writhing right out the thing¡¯s hinder. Now there¡¯s an image.


    I¡¯m glad I¡¯m practicing. I¡¯ll leave a lot of details out when I talk to someone for real. You aren¡¯t going to like this, but I made up my mind who it should be. The Lone Star Paranormal Research Society. I know, I know. At least if they think I¡¯m a crackpot, the feeling will be mutual. And I have to tell someone. I get that the likeliest explanation is I¡¯m a sleeve shy of a box of crackers, but the what ifs are killing me. It¡¯s your fault I¡¯m going to do what¡¯s right even if I¡¯ll look like a fool doing it.


    Rover looked away from me yesterday. Looked around me. Halfway through recess, its head started moving, following the kids¡¯ hide-and-seek game. No, sir. I¡¯m not having that.


    Thanks for listening, Mom. I love you. I¡¯m glad we got to watch the sunrise together one more time. Now that I¡¯m seeing it the way you did, it makes me miss you about a thousand times worse.


    And to think, you always said we couldn¡¯t get a dog. Yes, thank you, I do think I¡¯m very funny.


    Time I hit the road. I¡¯ll call the kooks on my way back to the car. Got to head east, now. Might be I¡¯ll meet up with you pretty soon. You won¡¯t be too offended if I hope that¡¯s not the case. Have to see if I can do something about our friend Rover. Probably I can¡¯t, but then again, I do deal with eight year olds for a living. Pretty good training for whatever this thing has in store for me.