《Allison Zero》


 #0001 - A Single Bed and a Smoke

    Patryk was twenty minutes away from the party but still ninety minutes, through tubes, corridors, and crawl spaces, to where his current residence was. Or at least it would be ninety minutes had he been sober. He walked a hallway, on a just re-opened but not yet public section of the deep-space welcoming station, low, near the outer skin, but with no view of the stars. The stars so very far away.


    Despite every party in Patryk¡¯s twenties having ample beds nearby, doubles or singles, he hadn¡¯t slept within stumbling distance of a party in years. He was one of the few men who¡¯d sleep in a single, but despite the obvious signal he was giving ¡ª or a signal obvious to him ¡ª he¡¯d still wake with a woman curled into him, kissing his neck, his ears, stroking his scruffy, unkempt hair; asking him to get her pregnant. Or whatever. Anything. Anything he could dream of. She¡¯d do whatever he wanted. She¡¯d do more than that. She¡¯d amaze him. Show him things, promise him things, things he¡¯d never thought possible. They were impressed he¡¯d sleep in a single without a woman. And typically she¡¯d have saved a beer to share with him in the morning. Beer straight from the box Patryk had brought for any women who¡¯d turned up to the party the night before.


    No man had ever let women drink beer before. They loved him. That¡¯s why he never slept at parties.


    Patryk walked the empty corridor. Rats don¡¯t typically physically force doors, even in repair sections. No-one wants an infestation in a soon-to-be-reopened section so rooms get fully locked down before there¡¯s even a hint of access from citizens.


    Patryk knew this didn¡¯t always hold true, even voters made mistakes, so he tried, with some effort, every door along his way. By his estimate he was on his seventieth now he was far enough away from the party to find a place to rest.


    Finally one opened.


    Inside was a room, fresh smelling, obviously new air, with a door leading to another room. In the first room was a desk with a computer on top ¡ª old, not connected ¡ª and stack after stack of wooden drawers, like ancient index card holders; like from the movies; from before computers, in ancient times. Patryk looked in a few of the drawers and there was tobacco in each. Or at least what he thought was tobacco. He¡¯d never seen tobacco outside of pictures.


    He quickly looked in the other room, it was all lab equipment. And shelf after shelf of books. This was obviously illegal. Whoever ran their crimes out of here was on the run, possibly had already disappeared, or had been imprisoned. How they lasted this long Patryk didn¡¯t know. Everyone knew of crime but it usually involved cheap hacks, or betrayal. Rarely violence. And almost never anything like this.


    Whoever had set all this up it was recently, given the freshness that scented the air. There was risk to staying here, but Patryk had seen no signs this area was being supervised. And a bed was a bed, even a single bed for a woman. And Patryk was tired.


    As he tucked himself in he knew he was safe here if he didn¡¯t stay past the weekend. He quickly began to dream the dreams he never remembered.


    ***


    ¡°It¡¯s time to wake up,¡± the voice said. It had said things before, gently, but Patryk had rolled over, shutting the words out. Certain the voice was another of the dreams he wouldn¡¯t remember, it was so gentle. Certain the voice was one of care.


    Then Patryk, awake, became aware of where he was. Of a presence. He kept his eyes shut as his mind cleared knowing no security would be this patient. Not with a man. Certainly not committing a misdemeanour. Finally he twisted his feet out of the low, temporary bed and set them on the ground, immediately reaching for his boots. ¡°You want me to leave..?¡± Patryk said, as he stuck his feet into them.


    ¡°You found me,¡± the man said. ¡°And the day before I depart, too.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not on the run?¡± Patryk asked. ¡°Or in danger?¡±


    ¡°Aren¡¯t you worried for yourself? Of what this is?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re old,¡± Patryk said, knowing there was little threat to him.


    ¡°Violence? Really?¡± the man laughed. He had thick hair and a gaunt face. There wasn¡¯t a sight of grey through his black curls, despite his age, slick curls, tight and clinging to his head. Patryk couldn¡¯t remember the last time he saw a man wearing hair like that. No-one had such regular access to a styler to keep it up, and to do it manually took far too much time.


    The man wore a pair of black slacks, stained, plain black trainers and a cream, battered t-shirt. He had a thin moustache.


    ¡°Do you feel safe?¡± the man asked.


    Patryk considered the question for a moment. Did men feel unsafe? Were they asked about their safety? Yes, their feelings, and their thoughts, but men were always safe. Except, sometimes, in the presence of voters or their agents. And there were extreme situations but this wasn¡¯t one of them. ¡°I do,¡± Patryk said. ¡°Thank you for asking,¡± he continued, unsure where this small amount of deference had come from.


    ¡°Smoke this,¡± the man said, handing a Patryk a little cigarette. ¡°You know how to smoke?¡±


    ¡°Won¡¯t it¡ª¡±


    The man lit his own cigarette, self-rolled, inhaled and exhaled. There was no smoke. Nothing to set off alarms. ¡°Are you a curious person? An open person?¡± the man asked.


    Patryk put the cigarette in his mouth, held the element lighter to its tip and inhaled. As he held the first drag in his lungs he felt nothing. As he exhaled his breath he felt peace. He had no hangover any more. No pain in his head. No sickness in his stomach. No need for more booze.


    Patryk closed his eyes slowly and felt the peace again, as he took another inhale.


    ¡°You¡¯ll still need to drink water,¡± the man said, handing Patryk a chilled bottle.


    The man busied himself with drawers, the tobacco that caused no smoke, sniffing at it and mixing it, while Patryk smoked his rollie and drank water.


    Eventually the man dragged a seat from behind the desk and sat himself opposite Patryk; Patryk who was feeling pretty fine now. ¡°Do you want to find out who you are?¡± the man asked.


    ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡± Patryk asked.


    ¡°One.¡±


    ¡°One?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s me.¡± The man, One, handed Patryk another rollie, this time in brown paper. ¡°This one could cause problems. If you¡¯re frightened. If you don¡¯t want to accept. Or engage. If you don¡¯t want to talk.¡±


    Patryk held the cigarette to his mouth, lit it and inhaled.


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    The next thing he knew was his fingers burning. The small stub of the smoked rollie just about to cause blisters. ¡°I don¡¯t want it to end,¡± Patryk said.


    ¡°What to end?¡± One asked.


    Patryk dropped the cigarette on the floor and stubbed it out with his boot. ¡°Me. My dreams.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡± One asked.


    ¡°Allison,¡± Patryk said.


    ¡°Do you want to work for me, Allison?¡± One said.


    ¡°What would it involve?¡± Patryk asked. He¡¯d never worked before, not really, but he knew this wasn¡¯t an offer of typical factory or industrial work.


    ¡°You deliver things. You talk to people. You live your life, Allison. You are Allison, aren¡¯t you? You are a woman?¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t...¡±


    ¡°Can¡¯t what?¡± One asked.


    ¡°I can¡¯t get pregnant,¡± Patryk said.


    ¡°Many women can¡¯t,¡± One said. ¡°Does that stop them living their life? Does that stop them being who they are?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not a woman,¡± Patryk said.


    ¡°Think. Really think. What do you believe? Who are you? What are you? Don¡¯t consider impossibilities, or what ifs, or if onlys. Who are you? Who are you in all the dreams you¡¯ve never remembered?¡±


    ¡°Allison,¡± Patryk said.


    ¡°Do you feel high? Drugged?¡± One asked.


    ¡°If it was a powerful drug I wouldn¡¯t know it,¡± Patryk said.


    ¡°But you don¡¯t want it to end. Why should it?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s impossible,¡± Patryk said. One shook his head.


    One stood and leaned over Patryk, taking his hand. Patryk hadn¡¯t held hands with a man since he was a teenager. Since he was a child. ¡°Come with me, Allison,¡± One said.


    Patryk and One walked for a few minutes, Patryk feeling alive from his smoke. They travelled a service elevator, too, access being no issue.


    They came to another corridor, the same as any other but with no ceiling lights on until they were activated by One and Patryk¡¯s movement; One still holding Patryk¡¯s hand like Patryk was his woman. Patryk still felt safe. Safer, even.


    ¡°I think this is it,¡± One said, swiping his wrist against the door. Inside was an apartment, a small living room. One lead Patryk to the bedroom. ¡°She was about your size. Very successful with men, too, who¡¯d stay here. Actual relationships. If you want to continue as a man you can. I¡¯m sure some of them left clothes, better than yours, and you¡¯ll make money with me, with the tobacco; spend it how you wish. There¡¯s a double bed off the living room. It¡¯s your choice. Be a man or a woman. Be who you are. There¡¯s no other concern.¡±


    One went to another room leaving Patryk standing, thinking, wondering. Dreaming even. Then One was soon back holding a bathrobe. ¡°You stink. Shower. There should be water in there. And it¡¯s a styler. I can¡¯t have someone working for me looking like a mess. You¡¯ll be travelling the whole station.¡±


    ¡°Water?¡± Patryk asked. ¡°Are you serious? Not just a regular cleanser?¡±


    ¡°Find out for yourself. The styler is modern, too. Make yourself pretty.¡± One handed Patryk the bathrobe then left Patryk alone in the single bed room with the en suite.


    Patryk undressed, and with the robe covering him and walked into the bathroom. His eyes opened wide as he saw there was an actual bath in there. A huge one. Bigger than he¡¯d ever seen.


    Patryk walked in disbelief to it and turned the hot water tap, but the lights merely dimmed, indicating it was inactive. Then he walked to the shower cubicle, turning on the shower, fully believing this whole charade would collapse. Instead warm water began to flow from the shower head. He quickly stripped off the robe.


    For the first time in months Patryk felt water flow over his skin. Through his wound mop. The mixture of chemicals and conditioners in the water made his hair soft, untangling it. There was no timer on the tiles counting down when the shower would end. He could stay here twenty-four hours a day if he wanted. If this wasn¡¯t a dream he¡¯d forget when he woke up.


    There were soaps on the ledge and after a few minutes of simply feeling heat, and eventually cleanliness, Patryk lifted one of the colourful, scented bars to smell it. When he did the screens came on around him, cycling through images of styles. They all were of Patryk. A female Patryk. Or at least his hair, his eyebrows.


    Patryk watched, fascinated. This couldn¡¯t be possible. He knew technically it was. A man could wear any hair style he wanted ¡ª if he felt it would attract a partner ¡ª but no man wore a woman¡¯s style. It would be shameful. The commercial stylers in the salons didn¡¯t even offer this. You¡¯d have to pay a barber for a traditional cut if you wanted something like this. And he couldn¡¯t think of a barber who¡¯d agree to it.


    Patryk kept watching the images pass before him until he found his hand reaching out, dialling back a few of the generated pictures to the one he wanted to see again. She was beautiful. Patryk was beautiful. It was his brown hair, long, swept and tiered over his ears in waves, shaggy but precise. She had a soft fringe that made her eyes the most seductive things Patryk had ever seen. He reached out and pressed the ¡®Confirm Style¡± button.


    ¡°Please lift your arms,¡± a gentle voice spoke from the top of the cubicle.


    Patryk stood stock still. Thirty seconds passed. ¡°Please issue confirmation again,¡± the voice said.


    Patryk pressed the button a second time and lifted his arms. He watched as most of the hair on his body dissolved. The styler quickly dried him once it was done.


    Patryk left the shower cubicle and stood before the mirror. It was him. A sort of him. A little bit ¡®her.¡¯ It was a woman¡¯s cut, he had no sign of a beard, or stubble, his eyebrows were arched and yes, his eyes were beautiful. He could imagine wanting to gaze into them. He stopped imagining when the thought of a man gazing into them came to his mind.


    He put on the bathrobe before he left the bathroom. It felt gentle against his newly smooth skin.


    ¡°That suits you,¡± One said. ¡°You¡¯re a very beautiful woman.¡±


    Patryk smiled. Then he looked around and couldn¡¯t see his clothes. ¡°I¡¯ve put them away. But I¡¯ve picked an outfit I think will suit you.¡± One indicated at a hanger hanging on the back of a second, slightly open door. ¡°You¡¯ll have to pick your own panties and stockings. I found some bras in another apartment for a small woman.¡±


    Patryk walked to the clothes hanging up and took the black bra off the red satin blouse¡¯s shoulder. He rubbed the lace of one of the cups between his fingers. ¡°Can I¡ª¡± Patryk began.


    ¡°Have some privacy? If you insist,¡± One said. ¡°But if you¡¯re a woman you know your role is to turn men on and invite them to get you pregnant. Would you really ask a man to stop watching you dress?¡±


    ¡°That wasn¡¯t what I was going to ask,¡± Patryk said, as he untied the fabric belt around his waist, dropping the bathrobe to the ground, standing fully naked in front of One.


    He put his arms through the bra and shrugged it onto his shoulders, reaching around himself to fasten it. Whichever woman this was from she really had no breasts, it was almost a perfect for Patryk.


    ¡°Panties and stockings are in the dressing room,¡± One said. ¡°There should be plenty of new ones.¡±


    Patryk went into the walk-in dressing room, almost larger than the bedroom, where so many clothes were hung, or folded onto shelves. In one corner was a dressing table, with drawers built into it and on each side of it. Patryk went digging.


    There were loads of panties, with labels still attached, obviously unworn, and packet after packet of every kind of stocking.


    He was soon looking in the mirror at a sort-of-man in sexy lingerie. The thought of a guy watching him came to him again. This time Patryk let it rest, for just a moment, not believing he could.


    He walked back to the bedroom. One was sitting in the armchair, legs crossed, reading his conn. He didn¡¯t even look up at Patryk.


    Patryk took the denim mini-skirt from the hanger and pulled it up around himself, letting it settle onto his waist. Then he put on the red, satin blouse. He looked in the full length mirror. ¡°I¡¯m dressed like a twenty year old,¡± he said.


    ¡°You pretty much are a twenty year old,¡± One said. ¡°Not in age, obviously. But you have a lot to learn, like any woman who¡¯s just been unleashed on the world. You should enjoy it. The innocence. The opportunities.¡± One smiled at Patryk, like he was proud of him. ¡°The work with the smokes you¡¯ll be doing for me...¡±


    Patryk turned himself around, tilting and straining his neck to keep watching himself in his view on the mirror. Getting every sight of himself as, well, yes, a woman. He looked like a woman. He obviously appeared slightly male, but his hair, and clothes, and legs all said woman.


    ¡°Are you happy with yourself?¡± One asked.


    ¡°Yes,¡± Patryk said.


    ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡± One asked.


    ¡°Allison,¡± Allison said.


    One uncrossed his legs in his seat and stretched his arms. ¡°How sure are you, Allison?¡± One asked.


    ¡°I¡¯m certain,¡± Allison said, still staring at herself in the mirror as she turned and twisted.


    Allison¡¯s connection flashed. The illuminated black casing of a man¡¯s conn switching to the swirling rainbow patterns of a woman¡¯s conn. It beeped a moment later.


    Allison picked it up. There was something new in her inbox. ¡°Welcome to the station, Allison 3260. We hope you enjoy your life here. Please familiarise yourself with all the regulations for women on board. Onboarding credits have been paid to your account to help you settle in. Further messages will arrive over the coming days.¡±


    The welcome had come from The Governor¡¯s Office.


    Patryk searched the database for his old ID, his real ID. It wasn¡¯t there. There was no Patryk 6112. Patryk was Allison now.


    She was Allison 3260.

 #0002 - Friends and The Court

    Allison 3260 sat, on the single bed, a woman¡¯s bed, in what according to her conn was definitely her new apartment. She was a woman, it appeared. She wore women¡¯s clothes, her hair was styled in a female style, much like her arched eyebrows. Her conn glowed in the rainbow patterns of a woman¡¯s conn. Most importantly the text next to her name, her ID, read, ¡®Female ¨C Of Child Bearing Age.¡¯


    She had no idea what to do.


    If she was still Patryk she¡¯d be planning out what he could do. What her, or Patryk¡¯s, unemployed ¡ª avoiding employment ¡ª limited credits would allow him to do. He might be able to afford a good meal, he might be able to afford to watch a new movie in the theatres, most likely he¡¯d be looking for a party that night and thinking of what drinks he could afford to buy with whatever ad-hoc job he¡¯d picked up in the last week or two.


    If he was really stuck for money he¡¯d go for one of his three daily free meals then read the encyclopedia on his conn until his only real friend, Adam, was off from work when they¡¯d meet up. If things were really hitting the shit he¡¯d be looking for a new place to call home for a few weeks, but now it seemed he had a home. A real one. With a styler in it with women¡¯s styles available. And actual water, not just a bog standard cleanser.


    He looked at his conn, again, and checked his access to the encyclopedia. He had none. Women had no access to the encyclopedia. He really was a she now. As if everything else wasn¡¯t telling him this.


    Allison 3260 messaged Adam without even thinking, knowing she needed to see him as fast as he could meet her.


    She received a message back a little later as she was looking at her stocking tops. Her stockings that didn¡¯t reach all the way to her denim miniskirt. ¡°What the fuck is happening?¡± the message read. ¡°What¡¯s up with your ID? Meet me in the Level O122 mess hall. I¡¯ll be there as soon as I can. Don¡¯t talk to anyone. Fucking no-one! Do not do something to get your ID checked.¡±


    Which was the end of the matter. Allison had to venture outside her apartment. She had to be seen. As a woman. Where men would see her. And women would see her. She had to be a woman in public. Where men ¡ª especially, really men ¡ª men who thought only a few things about women, would see her.


    She put on her boots, tying the laces, and walked to the apartment¡¯s living room. This was it. She opened the front door and stepped outside. She knew this area was abandoned but still, this was public. People could and were about to see who she was.


    Allison walked to the nearest elevator and announced her floor, quickly remembering that women stood at the front of the elevator so men could watch them. She hoped a man wouldn¡¯t get in. That she¡¯d be free to ride to Level O122 without hassle.


    But the elevator did stop, halfway, and a man did step in. She bowed her head, trying not to make eye contact and engage him so he wouldn¡¯t take it as an invitation to flirt. He quickly moved behind her. Right behind her. He placed his hand on her hip and started to stroke the soft satin of her blouse at her side. Stroking and kneading her the whole way to Level O122. He made a few noises of satisfaction as he did. This was her life now.


    The elevator doors opened and Allison was thankful he didn¡¯t follow, so thankful it took quite a few steps before she realised people, both men and women, were looking at her, looking away and then quickly looking back again. No-one approached her. No-one had ever seen anything like this. Anyone like her.


    She got to mess hall and was about to ask the server at the drinks area for a coffee but remembered those were rationed, for women at least, the kind of coffee she liked, anyway.


    ¡°A cola, please,¡± Allison said, swiping her wrist against the scanner at the front of the area. The server looked at his screen and quickly gave her a bottle of cola with a straw in it.


    She snatched at the proffered bottle before rushing to seat at the edge of the mess hall, but still near the entrance.


    Allison sat, keeping her legs together, she didn¡¯t want to invite a man to her. She wished that Adam would arrive quickly.


    She sipped at the cola and thought ¡®What the hell is this?¡¯ before remembering, just like coffee, any soft drink with sugar in it was rationed for women. It was assumed you wanted sugar free unless you specified. ¡°We want you to keep your figure, ladies! Ask a man to buy you one. Who knows what else he¡¯ll ask for?¡±


    Allison put her hand to her face as she stared at her drink. After a few minutes she saw Adam walk in, looking around for her, or him. For Patryk.


    Allison stood, just a little, and waved. Adam spotted her and hurried to her.


    ¡°What the fuck?!!¡± Adam said, angry and hushed.


    Allison held out her conn and the two confirmed identities. Adam was Adam 7111 to Allison. When Adam said, ¡°No!¡± she knew she was Allison 3260 to him.


    ¡°No-one I¡¯ve met has a 0 in their ID. I¡¯ve never even heard of it happening at the end of an ID. This is the worst fake I¡¯ve ever seen.¡± Adam¡¯s eyes bulged as he shook his head. ¡°Why? Why the fuck!? Why would you do this!!?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s¡ª¡±


    Allison wasn¡¯t allowed finish her sentence; to say that she knew, clearly, exactly who she was. That she was ¡®just me,¡¯ because Adam was saying, ¡°I can¡¯t let this go. I know you. I¡¯ve seen you. This is imitation. This is impersonation. And not just of a made up man but a woman! You¡¯re imitating a woman! If they find out I didn¡¯t report this I¡¯m as fucked as you are!¡±


    Adam stood and held his conn in front of him. ¡°You¡¯re imitating. I have to report you. Stand for a photo. I¡¯m reporting you!¡±


    Allison had no choice. She knew this would be found out in a few minutes. The court would rule and she couldn¡¯t even begin to imagine what her punishment would be.


    She stood, in full view of Adam¡¯s conn, and let him take a photo. He typed out a few words for the report, then sat, and so did she. Neither of them said anything. Allison glanced her eyes to the side a few times hoping she¡¯d see the station tearing away because of some catastrophic event, a rupture, a ship losing power and hurtling into the shell, sparing her punishments and torment with a vacuumed death.


    Death would be a release from what the court had in her store for. No-one had ever done what she¡¯d done. She had been so confident in herself. She believed she was Allison. It was real. Whatever the smoke One have her was it showed her she was real. But now she didn¡¯t know. It was a lie, it had to be, and all she saw was more and more people sitting, men and women alike, sitting next to each other, opposite each other. No-one ate or drank. No-one flirted. No-one kissed. No-one fucked. No-one was going anywhere. The entire room was quiet, trying, not very well, to avoid looking at her and Adam.


    Everyone simply sat.


    After what seemed like an hour of this, but was really only about five minutes, Adam¡¯s conn beeped and vibrated on the table. Allison instantly knew hers hadn¡¯t. She was clinging to it. Waiting for the warning not to move from where security would find her. Allison who was really Patryk.


    Adam read his conn. He shook his head.


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    He handed it to Allison.


    Allison read the decision.


    The court takes all accusations of imitation seriously. There are consequences for false accusations, as there should be, and we must thank you, Adam 7111, for doing your duty, while ignoring the consequences there would be in falsely accusing someone of such a serious crime. We must also thank you for being aware of the idea it¡¯s possible for a man to imitate a woman. It takes a male mind that seriously contemplates the law to imagine such a thing could, in theory, occur. The court is thankful for all who are aware of the depth of the law. Even if some have over-active imaginations.


    The court has done every check possible and can affirm Allison 3260 is a woman of child bearing age. The court has absolute certainty in this decision, like all its decisions, although the court finds some amusement in entertaining the possibility citizens could now have the slightest of doubts of even our rulings. This accusation that a man is imitating a woman is the first time we¡¯ve had such a query, perhaps there will be other firsts. The court hopes you find this amusing, too, as will all citizens once this decision becomes public.


    However, imitation is a serious accusation, especially this peculiar form of imitation, and needs serious punishment when a false accusation is made. Yet, in this case, the court understands the citizen accused with caution and a deep awareness of what a truly deranged person could do; a man choosing to imitate a woman, however unlikely.


    Given all this the court has decided there will be no criminal punishment for you, Adam 7111. A non-criminal caution is being placed on your record. Should the court remain unaware of you for the next year, from the time this decision was reached, the court will hide your non-criminal caution from your record to where it is only accessible should more issues occur.


    Allison¡¯s hand was shaking as she handed Adam back his conn.


    He took it from her, already standing, and simply said, ¡°I hope you enjoy your new life, Allison.¡± Then he walked away.


    Allison shook harder as she imagined what her life actually was now.


    Allison was still shaking a few minutes later when every man in the room began reading their conns. The decision was out. Within a few seconds they were all looking at her.


    Conversation began in urgent, quiet tones, between everyone. A few moments later some women were sitting on men¡¯s laps, kissing them, reading their man¡¯s black conns over their man¡¯s shoulders. Others were giving men handjobs as they sat next to the men they were wanking, also reading their men¡¯s conns.


    A few people simply talked. Some stood and left quickly.


    Allison heard snippets of conversation. ¡®Always a woman.¡¯ ¡®Not possible, she was just hiding.¡¯ ¡®Unfortunate woman... She¡¯ll really have to fuck good.¡¯ ¡®That¡¯s what you get for not wearing makeup.¡¯ ¡®...dresses like a twenty year old. She¡¯s just someone unleashed and a shock to some asshole man who was drunk and regretted it when...¡¯


    Allison knew this wouldn¡¯t last. This faith in her being a ¡®normal¡¯ but unfortunate woman. Her ID would have changed in enough people¡¯s conns that some, at least, would always know. It would circulate. Friends would trust friends, and friends would fall out with friends, because of what they knew or didn¡¯t know about her. Over their doubts about her. About what they believed.


    Allison sat not knowing how she felt. She was a woman. The court had confirmed it.


    As she sat, confused, she saw and felt a hand on her own, a hand on Allison¡¯s hand which was holding the cola bottle. The nails on the hand holding hers were painted red. She looked up and saw a face she recognised. It was a woman she, or at least Patryk, had given a beer to.


    She smiled at Allison. Allison didn¡¯t remember her name. She placed a clear soft drink in a glass down in front of Allison. ¡°Thank you for the beer, Allison,¡± she said. ¡°I think you might need this right now.¡± She squeezed Allison¡¯s hand, smiled again, and walked away.


    Allison took a sip of the drink. It was a vodka, and lemon and lime. A lemon and lime with sugar. Allison didn¡¯t know what the woman, the woman who¡¯s name she didn¡¯t remember, had done to or promised a man to get an alcoholic drink in a public mess hall. Then she¡¯d given it away to a woman, a woman no longer the man who could buy her beer.


    As Allison drank she realised she¡¯d been sipping at the glass normally. Not normally like a man, normally like a woman who was looking to get drunk. To be taken. To enter arrangements.


    She moved the straw to her lips and began to sip at the drink like a woman who wanted to keep her wits about her. To not be easy, not at that precise moment.


    She thought to herself. ¡®What the fuck am I going to do? Who am I?¡¯


    Allison was staring at her drink, her eyes feeling raw when she realised someone was sitting opposite her. She looked up with her heart racing and saw a beaming woman staring at her. ¡°It makes so much sense, now,¡± Angie said.


    ¡°Oh, fuck!¡± Allison said.


    ¡°You¡¯ll be doing plenty of that, believe me!¡± Angie said.


    Angie was one of the few women who¡¯d met Patryk and wasn¡¯t immediately all over him. She seemed to respect him, or at least leave him be. She didn¡¯t even ask him for more beer the times she saw him, they just talked. He¡¯d tell her about what he¡¯d read, or heard, what he knew about jobs, while she¡¯d tell him about who was interested in who, and good ways to please a woman. Occasionally they¡¯d both read an article on his conn from the encyclopedia and laugh. It was as normal as normal could possibly be between a man and a woman. Or at least a man like Patryk and a woman.


    ¡°What now?¡± Allison asked.


    ¡°You let me get a look at you!¡± Angie said, excitedly.


    Allison stood and edged her way to the side of the table, standing morosely in front of Angie.


    ¡°You dress like a twenty year old. Perfect for a newly unleashed woman! And your hair. Wow!¡±


    Allison sat herself back down and admitted something. ¡°I have a styler in my bathroom.¡± She didn¡¯t say it contained water in the shower. Unlimited water.


    ¡°You really are the most amazing woman on the station. A fucking styler? A personal fucking styler!¡± Angie said.


    Allison took another drink of her alcohol but it didn¡¯t help. ¡°What do I do!?!¡± she said, voice trembling.


    ¡°Well, you have a lot to do. Most of it will take some effort. You¡¯ll have to try some new things, at least I¡¯d hope they¡¯re new. For the moment, though, there¡¯s two things you need. Either we get you proper shoes because wearing boots hasn¡¯t been in style for years. And even then it was a little out there. It''ll get you more looks than your physical appearance. Or we go see a doctor.¡±


    ¡°A doctor?¡± Allison asked, thinking of what an actual doctor would find out about her, with an examination.


    ¡°A woman¡¯s doctor. Who can help with that physical appearance of yours.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong with my physical appearance?¡±


    Angie laughed. ¡°Oh, please, Allison! Every woman wants help with their physical appearance. Some a little here, some a little there. You need a lot there and even more here. I think the doctor will be willing to help. I know a good one. She¡¯s young, and understands. I¡¯ve already messaged her and she¡¯s said anytime today. She¡¯s a voter too. Almost every women¡¯s doctor is.¡±


    Allison nodded. If the doctor was a voter she really knew her shit. It was rare for a man to get to see a doctor who was a voter. It had to go through approval. Most men saw citizen carers.


    Citizen carers had some training, and could triage and tend to typical male injuries. There were some citizen doctors, always an honorific out of respect for their experience. But a man getting to see a real doctor, a voter, with proper education? That hadn¡¯t happened to most men under the age of 40 unless they¡¯d nearly met their death, at least not since they were children.


    And if the doctor was a voter maybe she really could help Allison with her appearance. Did Allison want that? The thought floated in Allison¡¯s mind, before escaping.


    ¡°Doctors are private? About... Issues..?¡± Allison asked.


    ¡°Of course,¡± Angie said. ¡°But take the laces out of your boots before you go. No woman has ever worn them in her boots.¡± Angie shuddered thinking of what Allison was wearing; such a fashion faux pas.


    Allison turned in her seat so she could get at her boots. It was true, she thought, as she tugged at the stubborn laces, taking them down and out through the eyes in the leather. She remembered when women wore boots. A lot of men didn¡¯t like it, Patryk didn¡¯t care, but Allison was certain he never saw a woman with laces.


    After a few minutes she had them out and was placing them on the table as she sat back into the chair properly.


    ¡°Those men will have so much to talk about,¡± Angie said. ¡°I hope your panties aren¡¯t lace! Fuck! I hope you¡¯re wearing panties!¡± She was laughing, looking amazed.


    ¡°I am, of course, and they are lace!¡±


    ¡°Well all those men and quite a few of the women will be talking about the most extraordinary birth defect they thought they saw between a woman¡¯s legs.¡± Allison looked at Angie with confusion. ¡°Well I suppose more men will find out when you¡¯re having sex. Your legs were spread wide, woman! We¡¯d better leave before one of the four or five very aroused guys I spotted come calling. You¡¯re new and exciting to them!¡±


    Allison felt pangs of fear as she stood and stepped out from the table. She felt something else as well, a squirming ill-ease at the thought men were attracted to her; aroused by her, by simply watching her.


    Angie also stood, then immediately reached over to Allison and took her in the most welcoming, soft, gentle hug either Allison or Patryk had ever felt. ¡°I knew there was something correct about you,¡± Angie said. ¡°Something to you. Something that made you more, I didn¡¯t know... Now I know.¡± Angie sighed, holding Allison. ¡°How could anyone know? You¡¯re unique, whatever you are.¡±


    In the hug from Angie Allison felt the same certainty in her chest as when she¡¯d finished smoking the brown rollie of tobacco One had given her. The drug that had revealed what was so true to her. What she knew was true. And it now seemed to be true to both the court and her friend; Angie who was being a proper friend, replacing Adam and his abandoning of her; his rejection. And Allison was sure there¡¯d be more of that; more rejection.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± Angie said. And Allison and Angie began to walk to Allison¡¯s first appointment with a woman¡¯s doctor.

 #0003 - Art and Medicine

    As Allison and Angie reached the exit of the dining hall Allison almost tripped from the lack of laces in her boots. Angie had said Allison would need new shoes, more fashionable shoes, but Allison hadn¡¯t realised the practicalities of things; the immediate problems caused by the out-of-fashion, female style of lace-less boots.


    It was Allison¡¯s choice to see the doctor rather than go shopping for appropriate footwear, which were the options Angie presented, and Allison really didn¡¯t want to be alone as a new woman. She had to do one of Angie¡¯s suggestions.


    At least the doctor would be private, and maybe she could help Allison.


    How a doctor could help Allison Allison didn¡¯t know. She¡¯d never heard of and no-one had ever even dreamt of something like Allison had done. It simply wasn¡¯t possible, a man becoming a woman, in some way, legally, at least based on the court ruling. But the evidence appeared to be otherwise. It had happened. It was possible.


    As Allison picked herself up from another stumble Angie reached out and took her by the hand.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine, I think. I¡¯m OK. It¡¯s the laces,¡± Allison said, feeling a little off at her hand being held, in public. Just like two women wandering around, on view, and giggling at guys; inviting them to join them.


    ¡°That¡¯s the point of no laces,¡± Angie said. ¡°Anyway, you already know why women hold hands.¡±


    ¡°I do?¡± Allison asked.


    Angie shook her head. ¡°Actually... You? Who you were? Maybe you don¡¯t...¡± Angie inhaled through her nose as they both continued their walk towards the elevator, still holding hands, then she continued. ¡°Most men understand when women are holding hands they¡¯re going somewhere. They have something to do, maybe a date to go to, men to meet. A plan! You get it? At least if they walk with purpose and aren¡¯t tripping over themselves when they see a guy with a hard on for them.¡±


    Allison nodded, and despite Angie¡¯s grip she stumbled again. A man walking nearby reached out towards Allison but she¡¯d already recovered by the time he came close so she just smiled an embarrassed smile at him. ¡°I really get the no laces thing, now, as well,¡± Allison said.


    Angie laughed.


    After a few minutes walk, and a few more stumbles, and embarrassed smiles from Allison, along with a few laughs from Angie at Allison batting suitors away they¡¯d arrived at the elevator. ¡°I hope there¡¯s no men in here,¡± Allison said.


    ¡°Bring up your calendar." Allison held up her conn and looked at her calendar. There was actually an open appointment for a doctor on Hospital Floor F3. ¡°Send it to your wrist and call the elevator.¡±


    Allison swiped her wrist against the call pad and when the elevator arrived no-one was in it. Allison sighed as they stepped in and the elevator announced ¡®Hospital Floor F3 ¨C Female Carriage.¡¯ Angie simply said, ¡°Confirm.¡± And it was on its way.


    ¡°Are female carriages just for going to doctors?¡± Allison asked Angie.


    ¡°You can request one if you have a particular need. There should be an icon for it in your new rainbow conn,¡± Angie said. ¡°They¡¯re mostly approved, but no-one really calls one unless they¡¯re in a bad way or feeling shitty. Don¡¯t come to rely on them.¡±


    Angie still didn¡¯t leave go of Allison¡¯s hand. Then the elevator arrived, calling out the correct floor.


    Allison¡¯s eyes opened wide along with the doors. The lobby before them was bright, not glaringly so, just comfortable. The walls weren¡¯t dark, there was little exposed metal. The lighting was even, and everywhere, and the inrushing air felt clean. As though it was easier to breathe there.


    Angie dragged Allison out and began marching somewhere. Allison wanted to slow down because she was seeing something she¡¯d rarely seen, and certainly never in these numbers; art; actual original art framed and hung on the walls. She could see on some of the paintings there was texture to what she saw. They weren¡¯t just prints.


    Allison followed along, being pulled, until they finally came to a stop in a reception area and an older woman, a citizen, said, ¡°Allison 3260?¡±


    ¡°Yeah...¡± Allison said, nervously. The woman held out a reader and Allison swiped.


    ¡°Room 3, Angie. Take her straight in. Doctor Grace will be right there.¡±


    Angie smiled at the woman behind the desk and, yet again, pulled Allison behind her and towards a room. It wasn¡¯t sparkling clean, certainly not the image of an actual doctor¡¯s office Allison remembered from her encyclopedia, and from her youth. The walls were yellow, there was a desk with computer on top of it, some leather seats, one on wheels. There was a thin bed with metal thingies at the bottom of it, and some medical equipment on stands and hanging from the ceiling. Around two sides of the wall were a couple of metal tables with implements on them.


    ¡°Go on! Strip! Up on the bed!¡± Angie said as she sat comfortably into a seat.


    ¡°No!¡±


    ¡°The doctor will tell you anyway.¡±


    ¡°But...¡±


    ¡°Are you embarrassed with me here?¡± Angie asked. ¡°Are you embarrassed about your body?¡±


    Allison hadn¡¯t actually thought it but yes, that was it. Her body was wrong. Certainly for who she was now. ¡°Well... Yeah.¡±


    ¡°Tell the doctor that,¡± Angie said. ¡°She¡¯ll¡ª¡±


    ¡°Ladies!¡± the doctor said, the door sliding back. She was tall, very thin, not very beautiful but not ugly either. Just normal. She looked to be in her early thirties and wore green scrubs and men¡¯s trainers, with her blonde hair curving around her face framing it, making her seem softer and also somehow more professional. ¡°My name is Grace, and you must be Allison.¡± She held out her hand and Allison shook it. ¡°Pleased to meet you. And you have nothing to worry about. I¡¯ve seen everything before.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure you have,¡± Allison said.


    ¡°Maybe not,¡± Doctor Grace said. ¡°But since Angie messaged me I¡¯ve been reading. You¡¯re rare Allison, not unique. Unique for this station but there are a few cases like yours in the medical books, historically, at least. It just took some digging. The medicine is sound.¡±


    Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    Allison sighed and didn¡¯t know if she felt relieved or disappointed. ¡°You know what to do about me?¡± Allison asked. ¡°The court knows?¡±


    ¡°I know what to do for you, if you choose it. What the court knows I have no clue. They¡¯re a bunch of humourless old farts but I did see them try to make a joke in your ruling. Good for you, girl!¡± Doctor Grace said.


    Angie laughed.


    Allison said, ¡°Girl?¡± sounding annoyed.


    ¡°Oh, yeah!¡± Angie said. ¡°Voters have no issues calling citizens boy or girl. They¡¯re constantly doing it. At least Doctor Grace does it because she¡¯s nice. Now, come on! Strip and up on the bed.¡±


    The doctor laughed and rested her hand on Angie¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Once you stop having babies, Angie, you¡¯ll make a great healthcare worker, if you want. And she¡¯s right, Allison, clothes off. You can see we don¡¯t have fangs. You can leave your stockings and boots on.¡±


    ¡°I think I¡¯ll walk barefoot from here on in,¡± Allison said, taking off her boots as she began to strip. She couldn¡¯t handle any more stumbling and gallant, pervy men coming to her rescue.


    ¡°Should I tell her?¡± Angie asked Doctor Grace.


    ¡°Learning experience...¡± Doctor Grace said. They both laughed, although Allison didn¡¯t know why. Soon she was naked apart from her stockings and suspender belt, blushing as she sat up on the bed. ¡°Legs in the stirrups.¡±


    Allison realised what the metal things were as she spread her legs, placing them in the contraptions, with the doctor spreading them wider again and locking the metal firm.


    ¡°I feel... Fucking hell, this is... I¡¯m so exposed,¡± Allison said, looking uncomfortable.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Doctor Grace said. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, honey. It¡¯s much nicer when your husband is the reason you¡¯re like that. It¡¯s never pleasant, here, and there¡¯ll be worse at later appointments, but for now there won¡¯t be any physical examinations.¡± She moved a camera on an arm and a series of rapid flashes went off as it oscillated by itself. ¡°That¡¯s that. You can dress again.¡± Doctor Grace sat down on the chair with wheels. ¡°I¡¯ll need your thigh in a minute depending on what we decide. What is it you want, Allison?¡±


    ¡°What do you mean, ¡®What do I want?¡¯¡± Allison asked. The doctor hadn¡¯t explained anything, she¡¯d just imaged Allison. She¡¯d made Allison strip, obviously saw the reality of what Allison was, and didn¡¯t even blink twice about it.


    ¡°That¡¯s exactly what I mean, what do you want for yourself? What do you want me to do for you?¡±


    ¡°What can you do? Anyway, citizens don¡¯t get a choice in their medical treatment,¡± Allison said.


    Doctor Grace snorted, but there was no cruelty or mocking to it, more amusement. ¡°Can you get pregnant, Angie?¡± the doctor asked, turning towards Angie.


    ¡°Nope!¡± Angie said. ¡°I certainly hope not. Can I? Could I?¡± Concern flashed over Angie¡¯s face.


    Doctor Grace shook her head, with certainty, while Angie looked relieved, as Allison said, ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Angie. Not every woman can. It¡¯s terrible, I know¡ª¡±


    ¡°Terrible? For me? No way! I don¡¯t want to get pregnant. Not yet. I¡¯m on contraception.¡±


    Allison was stunned. ¡°Contraception! What!? That¡¯s¡ª¡±


    ¡°Most women are on it,¡± Doctor Grace said. ¡°With all the sex people are having can you imagine how many babies there¡¯d be? Doctors would never have a day off. We already have too much to do. I¡¯m here for you on a Saturday. Someone else last Sunday. I haven¡¯t had a proper weekend off in almost two months!¡± Doctor Grace didn¡¯t look annoyed, though, she actually looked quite proud.


    ¡°Yeah, when you¡¯re having sex you¡¯ll get contraception,¡± Angie said. ¡°Obviously don¡¯t tell any men.¡± She was totally nonplussed by this. As though saying being on contraception, something highly illegal, was a totally normal thing.


    Then words came straight out of Allison¡¯s mouth bypassing any thought process, ¡°But a woman¡¯s purpose is to get pregnant. To keep the population of the station in balance.¡±


    Doctor Grace nodded. ¡°Yes, in balance. Contraception keeps a balance. If the balance is wrong we¡¯ll talk to some women not trying but who are thinking about it. Who might be ready, mentally. We haven¡¯t had to forcefully stop contraception in living memory. And women also keep men happy; men like to fuck. Women do too, of course, but most men are terrible at it. You¡¯ll have to try a few, maybe more than a few ¡ª unless you stumble over someone you¡¯re bothered to teach ¡ª to find a man who pleases you. Men don¡¯t care once they cum. Which is a point. Did you, Allison? Did you enjoy sex? Before...¡± Doctor Grace waved a hand at Allison, now buttoning up her blouse.


    ¡°Enjoy sex? I guess. It was fine... OK, I suppose. It did its purpose,¡± Allison said.


    ¡°¡®Its purpose?¡¯ Yes... Yes, OK... I think you¡¯ll definitely enjoy the changes this medication will bring,¡± Grace said, as she mixed some vials into an injector. ¡°You¡¯ll grow breasts, your fat will redistribute. All over your body. Don¡¯t worry about putting on a little weight, I¡¯ll tell you when you need to be careful about it again. Your body hair, especially on your face, will say bye-bye. Your penis will more or less disappear. In a few months we¡¯ll get rid of what¡¯s left of your testicles. Then your scrotum will be nicely flat with no bulges in your panties. You¡¯ll love it!¡±


    ¡°My penis will disappear!!¡±


    ¡°It will turn into what you want it to be and you will gain a lot of pleasure from it with the right man. You¡¯re 24?¡± Doctor Grace said, glancing at the computer. ¡°How often had you had sex since your twentieth birthday?¡±


    ¡°Five or six times,¡± Allison said.


    ¡°Five or six times?¡± Angie rolled her eyes and shook her head. Allison nodded confirmation while grimacing, she knew it wasn¡¯t a lot. Then Doctor Grace continued, ¡°And it was just ¡®fine¡¯ each time? I really shouldn¡¯t give you a choice in this. This is what you need. Really, really... Totally obviously. Few other doctors would but I like to be the favourite doctor. It gives me the warm tinglies to know I¡¯m loved,¡± Doctor Grace said.


    Both her and Angie laughed.


    ¡°It¡¯s a big decision,¡± Allison said. ¡°I don¡¯t know. What do you think?¡±


    Angie was staring at Allison like Allison was the stupidest woman in the galaxy.


    Doctor Grace looked deep in thought for a few seconds. ¡°I can make an appointment with you for a month¡¯s time, or two week¡¯s time but if you wait I think you¡¯ll be messaging me by Wednesday, probably when I¡¯m run off my feet with other appointments, asking for it as soon as possible.¡±


    Doctor Grace rolled her seat towards the desk with the computer and raised the monitor a little higher so everyone could get a look at it. She tapped a few buttons and a naked Allison came up on the large screen. A few waves rippled across the display and the image of Allison rotated while rendering her into a 3d image. ¡°How does that make you feel?¡± Doctor Grace asked.


    ¡°It¡¯s just me,¡± Allison said, and she could see it was her with her new, female hair, and her male body.


    Doctor Grace tapped a few more keys and Allison¡¯s body began to morph. She began to look a little more feminine, then more, then a lot more. Her penis had shrunk to what was indistinguishable from a clitoris, she had breasts, her face was attractive, she had some degree of hips, and a waist. As the image rotated she had a bum. Her waist was more obvious.


    Allison thought of seeing her face with female hairstyles just a few hours earlier in the shower, swiping back on the controls to see herself with the hairstyle she had now. The one where she fell in love with herself. ¡°Is that how I¡¯ll look?¡± she asked, voice timid. Angie put her arm around her, holding her in tight.


    ¡°We can¡¯t predict. There or thereabouts. Did you know your biological mother? Get any warnings about meeting biological sisters, or other female relations?¡± Allison shook her head. ¡°Then we really can¡¯t say. Whatever happens you¡¯ll be much happier with it. You¡¯ll feel better about your body and you¡¯ll feel better mentally.¡±


    Allison nodded. ¡°OK. Yes... I think. If I¡¯ll be... Better, I guess...¡± she said. ¡°Will I? Do I have anything to worry about?¡±


    ¡°Lift your skirt,¡± Doctor Grace said as she began to fiddle with the injector. ¡°And no. A little pain. Maybe a little more than a normal female puberty. Your breasts might hurt a little, your penis. Have someone give them a massage. Lots of massages. Not a privilege allowed during a regular puberty, as you well know.¡± Angie started to laugh. ¡°Keep yourself well fed. But I already said that...


    "I¡¯ve included something to change bone structure, ever so slightly. You probably don¡¯t need anything more than that. Big changes can be extremely painful rather than just very painful if not done properly and I don¡¯t feel capable. There¡¯s a few doctors who rotate between various stations, rings, outposts, orbitals and planets who can do more if and when necessary but there are none here at the moment.


    ¡°You¡¯ll feel a little heavy, in the mind, for a week or so, get a boy to buy you a drink, tell him to hold you. The being held is probably more important than the drink but both go together. Maybe have a kiss or two, maybe a little more. Enjoy yourself. You''ll be happier so it¡¯ll come easily. You ready?¡± She held the injector over Allison¡¯s thigh and looked at her. Allison nodded.


    Allison felt a strange, sharp mixture of both coolness and heat at the point the injector put the medication into her thigh. She felt nothing else.


    ¡°You might start feeling that heaviness in the next two hours or so. Try not to worry about it. It¡¯ll come and go over the next few days, maybe a week. You¡¯ll probably begin to notice changes by tomorrow morning. You¡¯ll certainly feel them, a little twinge here and there, probably your breasts, first.¡±


    ¡°Does Allison need monitoring? For thirty minutes or so?¡± Angie asked.


    ¡°I was waiting for that,¡± Doctor Grace said to Angie. ¡°Yes, she does. But it¡¯s more ninety minutes, minimum. I¡¯ll walk you there.¡±


    ¡°I love my new, old friend so much,¡± Angie said, looking at Allison.


    Allison grabbed her boots as everyone was making their way out the door. It was much easier to walk without them on. Then a thought came to Allison about what was obvious, what was happening; she was becoming a woman.

 #0004 - Realisation and Information

    Angie and Doctor Grace talked as everyone walked, while Allison kept looking at the art on the walls and enjoying the fresher air on the hospital level. She was feeling trepidation with all that was happening to her, but Angie, and Doctor Grace, had just treated everything with normality. And Allison couldn¡¯t understand how.


    They arrived to what looked to be quite a nice restaurant. There was a serving area but it was tasteful, attractive, really. Inviting. ¡°Does Allison need nourishment?¡± Angie asked.


    ¡°I think she does,¡± Doctor Grace said. ¡°And you¡¯re looking a little peaky too, Angie. I know it¡¯s a hardship but I think I¡¯ll have to force a pizza on you. Chicken and red pepper isn¡¯t it? I hope you can struggle through.¡± Doctor Grace looked genuinely downcast as she shook her head.


    Angie broke out into a big smile. ¡°This is why everyone loves you, Doctor Grace.¡±


    ¡°Enjoy your day, girls. Angie, keep an eye on her for the next 48 hours or so. And Allison, enjoy your life. I¡¯ll update your calendar with your next appointment. Any concerns message me. Get the special!¡±


    And with that Doctor Grace was gone, and somehow Allison was getting even further from the man, Patryk, she used to be. She even thought the name ¡®Patryk¡¯ in her mind but it didn¡¯t feel like her name, not any more; it wasn¡¯t right. She was becoming a woman, physically, except for the vagina part. She was legally a woman. She was wearing a skirt. She was going to be eating lunch, with her friend, as two female friends chatting.


    Angie ordered her pizza with the woman behind the counter, as well as the special for Allison. The woman serving was a citizen, from her dress at least, and she said, ¡°It¡¯s a Saturday, dear, no waiter, but I can drop them down to you. Take any table.¡±


    They took a two person table nearby. There was an actual tablecloth on it, a thick tablecloth, with an array of glasses, and cutlery, even cloth napkins. There was a flower in a small glass vase between the two of them that Angie leant in to sniff. ¡°Plastic,¡± she said.


    Allison placed her boots next to her, on the ground, and as she sat up she felt a wave of dizziness.


    Allison must have made a noise with the dizziness¡¯s onset because Angie said, ¡°Is everything OK? Do you want me to call Doctor Grace back?¡±


    ¡°No. It¡¯s fine,¡± Allison said. ¡°It¡¯s what the doctor warned me about. Just give me a minute.¡±


    Allison closed her eyes and tried to breathe steadily, in the quiet of an empty restaurant, waiting for the ill ease to settle.


    She was starting to feel better, or was at least getting used to it, when the woman from the serving area came towards them. ¡°The doctor prescribed this. ¡®For the heaviness,¡¯¡± she said, placing a carafe of red wine down along with another, larger carafe of water with ice in it. ¡°She also said the patient¡¯s friend was to check the wine to make sure no evil voters were poisoning citizens. Said she might have to check it repeatedly as some poisons are subtle. And if you ladies want any soft drinks just let me know, I can arrange that. You¡¯re not on sugar free for the moment.¡±


    Angie smiled a big smile at the older woman as she walked away. ¡°I think this is actually how voters live,¡± she said. ¡°Can you imagine?¡±


    ¡°I couldn¡¯t imagine any of this even yesterday,¡± Allison said, as Angie poured the wine.


    ¡°How are you feeling?¡± Angie asked.


    ¡°A bit better, still heavy.¡±


    ¡°I think I have some helpers if it¡¯s bad,¡± Angie said.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not pain,¡± Allison said. ¡°I don¡¯t need anything for pain.¡±


    Angie nodded, took a sip of the wine and said, ¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯s poisonous but we¡¯ll have to drink the lot to be sure.¡± Allison laughed. It was a genuine laugh. She felt it through her entire torso. It was a real feeling, and a pleasurable one. She wanted to melt into her chair.


    As Allison took a sip of the wine, the first wine she¡¯d had in a year, she realised she felt good. Happy. Like never before. When she smoked what One had given her she saw who she was supposed to be, she believed in who she was supposed to be. Now it was like she was who she was supposed to be. She felt normal, or was beginning to. She was beginning to feel like who she was supposed to be.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what¡¯s happening,¡± Allison said, not out of annoyance, or worry, rather disbelief.


    ¡°Neither do I,¡± Angie said.


    ¡°It almost feels wrong to say this... But I¡¯m happy. I¡¯ve never felt so comfortable.¡± Allison sighed. Was that it? Was it that complex and that simple? Was there some massive fuck up somewhere, somehow, in something, that meant she was a woman, deep down? How? She had no clue but she was ¡ª she didn¡¯t know ¡ª excited? Energised? She looked at her new, old friend and realised it was part Angie, too. This was what they didn¡¯t have before; what they couldn¡¯t have and Allison could never even have begun to fathom the reason why, not without what One had given her.


    ¡°What¡¯s it like being a woman, Angie?¡± Allison asked.


    This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.


    Angie began to talk, with a smile, as Allison closed and opened her eyes slowly, looking onto a fresh, new world, smiling back at her friend.


    ***


    Allison and Angie were almost all the way through their meals when Angie poured them both a last half glass of the red wine. Allison didn¡¯t know if it was the food, or the wine, or simply being and chatting with Angie that stopped the dizziness. It could have just been the passing of time.


    Whatever Doctor Grace had injected Allison with she knew it was working; the sudden onset of effects told her that, something Doctor Grace did warn her about. What she was feeling wasn¡¯t just medication, though. She¡¯d never felt like she did in that moment; she¡¯d never felt so at peace, and certainly so at peace while with another person; it was easy. It was right, and Allison didn¡¯t understand why it was that way but she was sure in the feeling of it.


    ¡°Do you want to cuddle?¡± Angie asked, with a hint of curiosity to her tone but more of simplicity, of plain inquiry. ¡°With someone? You know...¡±


    Allison¡¯s mouth twisted as her thinking of why this all made sense was interrupted. ¡°I think so. It¡¯d be nice,¡± she said.


    ¡°With a man?¡± Angie asked.


    ¡°I¡¯ve never thought about men like that, but, yes, I guess, maybe? I don¡¯t know. It¡¯d be nice, I think. I guess if I¡¯m a woman isn¡¯t that what women do? Isn¡¯t that what women are supposed to do? Even if I can¡¯t get pregnant? There¡¯s a lot of things I don¡¯t know at the minute. Women enjoy being with men, right? And I¡¯m...¡± Confusion raced around Allison¡¯s mind at these thoughts, thoughts she didn¡¯t know she could or should have.


    Angie put her last slice of pizza back on her plate. ¡°When you were you, before... Did a man ever ask you to help with something in his apartment?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, of course. Loads of times,¡± Allison said.


    ¡°Did you?¡±


    ¡°I said it¡¯d be no problem. I¡¯d be happy to apply for the permits to go in there but they usually just said there was no rush, or it could wait. Why?¡±


    Angie dabbed at her mouth with the cloth napkin. ¡°Why did you give women beer?¡± Angie asked.


    ¡°It didn¡¯t seem fair they couldn¡¯t have any. And I like women.¡±


    ¡°Like now?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but this is easier. I feel happier.¡± The conversation went quiet for a couple of minutes, Allison just thinking, Angie eating.


    ¡°Can I taste your pasta?¡± Angie asked, her pizza finished, with her unused fork already reaching towards Allison¡¯s plate and twirling some of the remaining carbonara up.


    Angie rested the pasta laden fork on her own plate then ground far too much black pepper on top of it before stuffing it into her mouth.


    ¡°This is fucking delicious!¡± Angie said. She made noises of pleasure before reaching over towards Allison¡¯s plate, again, so Allison lifted it, moved the vase with the flower out of the way and placed the remaining pasta and the plate in the centre of the table. ¡°You won¡¯t regret this.¡± Angie¡¯s forked twisted up pasta again.


    ¡°No, I¡¯m full. You might regret it, though,¡± Allison said, watching Angie be an obvious glutton.


    ¡°I mean what you¡¯re doing. What you¡¯ve done. Being a woman. There¡¯s times you¡¯ll hate it but in times like this, the good moments? You¡¯re fucking thriving! It¡¯s beautiful,¡± Angie said, mouth full.


    Allison furrowed her brow. She wanted to acknowledge the intensity of what she was feeling with a physical action, to hold it back and store it, to keep onto it. Someone else ¡ª Angie ¡ª had seen in her exactly what she was feeling; her friend Angie could see her. ¡°I...¡±


    ¡°I have never seen you like this. We¡¯ve met up a few times and it was easy, a little strange, but mostly easy. Just reading your encyclopedia, and laughing. But this? I¡¯ve never met a woman like you. And I don¡¯t mean your particular situation, I mean what we¡¯re doing.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re just eating, aren¡¯t we?¡± Allison said.


    ¡°Yes? But no!¡± Angie said, with joy. ¡°I¡¯m not at all attracted to women. I¡¯ve tried a few things with them and¡ª¡±


    ¡°What!? Tried what with them?¡±


    Angie laughed as she shovelled the last of Allison¡¯s pasta into her mouth. When she finished chewing she looked at Allison as she swallowed. ¡°Those men asking for help in their apartment? Well, they wanted to be with you like men and women are with each other, but with two men. And women do it with women too. And people do it in groups. And, and...¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s illegal!¡±


    ¡°You gave me beer! That¡¯s illegal!¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s a stupid law!¡± Allison said.


    ¡°Yes, and so are lots of them. Men care about the beer thing because they feel it gives them power. Something just for them. You didn¡¯t, for reasons that are obvious now.


    ¡°If there was someone else like you and the court didn¡¯t approve, for whatever reason, how would you feel? A woman who wasn¡¯t let be a woman?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, OK...¡± Allison said.


    ¡°This whole station is lies, and mysteries, and codes and secrets, behaviour, and no-one understands why. We just get on with things and sometimes figure out a little more while trying to enjoy ourselves along the way. I don¡¯t think anyone actually understands all of it. Not even the voters. It just goes on and on. And we all play along because mostly it¡¯s worth it... I wish there was more pasta,¡± Angie said, staring at Allison¡¯s plate as though she was about to drag her finger through the traces of sauce left over and stick it in her mouth.


    ¡°What now?¡± Allison asked.


    ¡°We get you shoes.¡±


    ¡°No, I mean in general. What now in general?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, we get you shoes. In general.¡±


    Allison¡¯s conn beeped with a sound she¡¯d never heard before, as the watch on her wrist vibrated and beeped at the same time. ¡°You should check that,¡± Angie said. ¡°Voter message.¡±


    ¡°Voter message? I¡¯ve never had¡ª¡±


    ¡°Just check it!¡± Angie said, her stare boring holes through Allison.


    Allison looked at her conn. There was a message from Doctor Grace. ¡°You might not realise but you¡¯re entitled to wear white. Now get out of the restaurant.¡±


    Allison showed her conn, with the message, to Angie. ¡°I don¡¯t get it.¡±


    Angie chuckled. ¡°I guess that makes sense,¡± she said. ¡°Have you had vaginal sex?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± Allison said. ¡°Of course. Once, anyway.¡±


    ¡°With your own vagina?¡± Angie said, now laughing properly, and repeatedly, with snorts.


    ¡°I don¡¯t have a va... NO! That¡¯s not right. That¡¯s not fair! I¡¯m not wearing white!¡±


    Angie shrugged and said, ¡°Now I know what shoes to get you. You said there was quite a bit of denim in that blessing of an apartment you inherited? I¡¯m going to make you look like such a twenty year old, and we¡¯re going to get you white stockings. And you¡¯re going to send the men wild! You said you wanted to try cuddling. Now, let¡¯s go. Doctor¡¯s orders!¡±

 #0005 - Freaks and Frolics

    Angie stood as Allison reached for her boots, hoping her dizziness wouldn¡¯t come back. Then Allison stood too, with Angie taking her hand again, and they began to make their way to the floor Angie said had a store with the exact pair of shoes Allison needed.


    After a few minutes they were walking the promenade on the level Angie brought them to. It was a complete contrast to the hospital floor. The hospital floor decorated in a way Allison had never seen before.


    The floor with the shoe store was a lot darker, typical of citizen floors, with lights flickering irregularly every so often. There was no art hanging up, just advertisements, and the air was somehow heavier. The carpet was worn, and stained; a concern for Allison wearing no shoes, but she still felt it preferable to having men lunge to rescue her every time she stumbled in her boots with no laces.


    Allison was holding Angie¡¯s hand, and they walked with purpose, but there were still a few men who seemed like they were in two minds about approaching them. Allison knew someone eventually would and after a minute someone did.


    ¡°Pedicure for a footjob,¡± the man said, straight out. He was well dressed but not particularly handsome, although he wasn¡¯t ugly, and he was around the same age as Allison and Angie. He wore a cologne Allison sort of knew and remembered quite liking, one she could never afford for herself. She looked him up and down. Then thought thoughts she couldn¡¯t really recognise.


    ¡°No!¡± Angie said, straight out. ¡°Unless my friend has an interest.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not talking to you,¡± the man said to Angie, sternly, and with a glare.


    ¡°We have plans,¡± Allison said, thoughts abandoning her.


    ¡°Manicure and pedicure, for both of you. And I watch. But I only want a footjob from you, beautiful. Your feet are perfect. I bet they¡¯ve never had the pleasure of a cock like mine between them. You¡¯ll love it. Between the arches of your feet...¡±


    ¡°No!¡± Allison said. She could see a bulge in his pants.


    ¡°Fuck you. You¡¯re showing me your toes. You¡¯re not wearing shoes. It''s deliberate! You¡¯re driving me crazy. I know women like you ¡ª teasing ¡ª you¡¯re sluts. I normally wouldn¡¯t go for it but I fucking love your toes. They¡¯re perfect. Just let me cum on them. Pedicure and manicure for you and your friend, she¡¯ll appreciate you, she doesn¡¯t have to do anything and I cum on those delicious toes of yours. Then I watch to make sure you put your shoes on without cleaning my seed off. Your toes in your shoes with me all over them. To remember me by. Final offer. Please!¡±


    ¡°Fuck you!¡± Angie said. ¡°Fuck off, we¡¯re not interested!¡±


    ¡°You two are cunts. Put some fucking shoes on if you¡¯re not interested! Stupid bitches! Fucking hags. Your feet aren¡¯t even that nice, you whore. I¡¯d have finger-fucked for you for a few minutes if you asked nicely. I¡¯d have let you pick your own fucking colour! Please! Let me just cum on them. I¡¯ll wank and cum on your toes. Same deal.¡±


    Angie began to walk faster and so did Allison while the man seemed to slow down, the man calling out what colours Allison could have on her toes and fingernails as the two of them left him behind. Allison knew he was watching her walk away, though, cursing her. ¡°Are all men like that?¡± she asked.


    ¡°The fuckers are. Some women like it. The directness. They¡¯re the sluts, which is fine for them. But no. Not all. We¡¯ll find you a nice man. You might even find you a nice man yourself. Don¡¯t assume... And if you think you might like to try things with a woman, as a woman, I know a few of those as well. Don¡¯t reject it,¡± Angie said, half turned to Allison, face full of sympathy, or pity, maybe sorrow.


    Allison took a breath, trying to collect her thoughts. ¡°He wasn¡¯t even weird, or creepy. It was just annoying. He was so fucking annoying! I hate him! Fuck him!¡±


    ¡°Yeah...¡± Angie said, with a tired sigh.


    ¡°Old me found those guys creepy. I knew them. I don¡¯t know... I felt like I had to protect women, or intervene, that women were afraid, for some of them at least... That guy was just an asshole. It was easy to say no to him. To tell him fuck off.¡±


    Angie squeezed Allison¡¯s hand. ¡°That¡¯s why a lot of women liked you. You were really good at knowing when to tell a guy to get away from them. When it was really needed. A few even believed you¡¯d hit the guy if he didn¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t know when to do it. I worried about when,¡± Allison said, squeezing Angie¡¯s hand back, as they walked, unaware of more men prowling around them. ¡°But I just did what was natural. I don¡¯t think I ever felt like I had to get physical with someone. I don¡¯t know if I actually would. That¡¯s fuck-up-your-life stuff.¡±


    ¡°Fuck-up-your-life like what you¡¯ve done today isn¡¯t?¡± Angie said, laughing. ¡°Really though, if a man is ever hurting you you know what to do?¡± Her tone had changed from joking to gravely serious.


    ¡°Yeah. I guess. I know...¡± Allison said. ¡°Tell him. Loudly. Repeatedly. I don¡¯t know if I could. I mean, not with what I am. I¡¯m not really¡ª¡±


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    ¡°If a man hurts you you tell them. It¡¯s serious, really serious. I¡¯ve never seen it. I know a few people who have and they don¡¯t talk about it. Rules, or something. They say it¡¯s not something you want to do lightly, but if he¡¯s hurting you you tell him, loudly, and repeatedly. You¡¯re a woman and no man should ever hurt a woman.¡± Angie paused. ¡°I really don¡¯t know. I¡¯ve only had people talk about it after a few drinks, and when they¡¯re upset. And no matter how drunk we get they don¡¯t say more. But you do it if you have to! They say nothing bad has ever happened to a woman after.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve never heard men talk about it,¡± Allison said. ¡°Except saying you don¡¯t hurt women. You just don¡¯t...¡±


    Angie and Allison continued walking in silence, in their thoughts, until a man stepped in front of them, stopping them.


    The man wasn¡¯t dressed very well, certainly not stylishly. He wore new-ish but basic, staple clothing. The clothes weren¡¯t stained but they were wrinkled, like he didn¡¯t put them away after he got them from the laundry, just threw them in a pile. His hair was a little messy, but was clean, and combed; recently washed, with water. He had no obvious muscles but still gave the impression of strength in a kind of barrelled way. Mostly, though, both Angie and Allison noticed that the skin on his arms had stains or dirt on it. ¡°Don¡¯t assume,¡± Angie said, quietly.


    ¡°The floor is filthy,¡± the man said.


    ¡°And you noticed me walking without shoes on? You noticed my feet?¡± Allison said, quickly picking things up.


    ¡°So did they,¡± the man said, pointing to some men hanging back a little in the slightly darker areas. Allison groaned.


    ¡°I¡¯m guessing you¡¯re going to buy shoes? A lot of shoe stores on this level.¡± He nodded towards the boots Allison carried in her hand.


    ¡°Genius!¡± Angie said.


    ¡°I like feet, and shoes. And feet in shoes,¡± the man said, with a smile. ¡°The floor is filthy, but there¡¯s also some broken stuff on it, in some places. You could cut yourself.¡±


    ¡°And you¡¯re offering to carry my friend!?¡± Angie said, laughing with bewilderment.


    The man laughed too, like either his plan was obvious or his moves had been figured out, and for some reason Allison laughed at his and Angie¡¯s laugh. It was so ridiculous. And he was so upfront about it, without being weird.


    ¡°Not carry, no. A piggyback?¡± he said, confidently, but calmly.


    Allison thought this was different, he wasn¡¯t pushy. He had a sweet smile.


    She was feeling somehow OK about whatever he was trying, or maybe OK about the actual man himself.


    ¡°What do you want in return?¡± Angie asked. Allison wondered if this was original because she¡¯d certainly never heard of a guy trying this. She¡¯d never heard of this ¡®tactic¡¯ when men talked.


    ¡°What store are you going to?¡± the man said, still smiling but also serious, somehow. Angie squeezed Allison¡¯s hand.


    Allison thought she had some idea of what Angie''s hand squeeze could mean.


    ¡°I mean is the store close, or far? That might matter, though probably not. I¡¯m a handler. I carry stuff all day ¡ª industrial handler ¡ª hence the...¡± He rubbed one hand against one of the patches on his skin. ¡°Almost like a tattoo, it¡¯ll grow out in a few months. It won¡¯t get you or your outfit dirty.¡± He smiled at Allison again and she noticed he was looking at her, not her feet, or her boots. She felt whatever she was feeling ripple through her.


    ¡°Rowan¡¯s...¡± Angie said, doubtfully.


    ¡°I know Rowan. She¡¯s lovely. She does real leather too. Piggyback? I don¡¯t want anything in return. You¡¯ll be my excuse to go into her store and browse around, and imagine women wearing the shoes; the new styles. It¡¯ll keep me going during the work week. Is that OK?¡±


    Allison squinted at him, thinking. Wondering, ¡®Could I?¡¯ Angie squeezed Allison¡¯s hand again.


    He turned around and crouched so Allison could climb on his back.


    Allison looked at Angie who suddenly had the same kind of smile on her face as when the two of them were having lunch, her cheeks like baubles, and looking delighted.


    Then Angie shrugged and shook her head as if to say, ¡®I don¡¯t know. It''s up to you.'' She obviously hadn¡¯t seen anything like this either. It seemed this was not a typical encounter for her. And she changed the shaking of her head to nodding at Allison, with another shrug, as if to support her no matter what she did. It was up to Allison.


    Allison sighed in acceptance. She was a woman, she supposed. Women gave into men; they pleased men. That was her role and why she wouldn''t have to work for her stipend. On the scale of things she''d done today letting a man give her a piggyback was minor.


    She spread her knees after moving closer behind the man¡¯s back.


    ¡°Tell me if I¡¯m too heavy,¡± she said, nervously, looking at Angie who was making urging motions to Allison to climb onto him now that Allison had made her mind up.


    ¡°You won¡¯t be,¡± the man said, as Allison rested herself onto him. ¡°You secure?¡±


    Allison wrapped her arms around his shoulders and chest, avoiding hitting him with the boots in her hand, and he stood as she gripped as best she could her knees into him. ¡°My name is Robert.¡±


    ¡°My friend is Angie and my name is Allison,¡± Allison said, gasping with Robert¡¯s movement, and strength.


    ¡°You comfy?¡± Robert asked.


    ¡°Mmmhmm,¡± Allison mumbled, unsure of what she was doing. What she¡¯d allowed herself to do. With a guy!


    Then Allison accepted yes, she was getting a piggyback from a man! Her legs, in stockings, were wrapped around a man! She was so close to him! She could feel him with her body, and she suddenly realised he could feel her. He held her. She didn¡¯t know what the two of them were doing, what exactly this was, but they were doing something.


    ¡°Pleased to meet you both,¡± Robert said. ¡°And welcome to The Good Ship Robert, Allison. Off we go.¡±


    When he said ¡®Off we go¡¯ he gave a little hop and a small dart forward. Which is how the rest of the trip to Rowan¡¯s store went.


    Sometimes he¡¯d walk, and they¡¯d chat, laughing, then at random moments, sometimes mid-sentence, he¡¯d bounce and take off into a jumpy run. By the time they arrived to a store with a brightly illuminated ¡®Rowan¡¯s¡¯ sign above it they were all in non-stop laughter, Angie barely holding back tears, Allison¡¯s heart pounding with excitement.


    ¡°Our destination,¡± Robert said, as the glass doors opened back and they walked into a decently sized, warmly lit store, with cream and pale yellow tile flooring and shoe after shoe on illuminated displays on the walls. But there was more. There was all manner of female leather goods; purses, belts, leather bracelets and chokers, pouches, there were even displays of non-precious metal jewellery.


    Robert backed up to one of the benches and crouched again to let Allison climb off; Allison who had a big smile on her face. She¡¯d had a piggyback, from a guy! A strong, funny, guy who was happy to do it for her. A piggyback from The Good Ship Robert!

 #0006 - Footwear and White

    A woman wearing a green, striped, cotton a-line dress, with bright, red hair, and obviously old enough to wear pantihose considering she was working in a business, said, ¡°That¡¯s a first, Robert.¡±


    The woman was smiling, but also shaking her head in disbelief. She could see Robert had just carried a woman into her store, giving her a piggyback, while another woman walked next to them, and they all looked like they were broken from laughter.


    ¡°I¡¯m thinking of becoming a starship, Rowan. Inaugural test flight,¡± Robert said. ¡°I¡¯ll have to wait for passenger reports before adjustments are made.¡±


    ¡°Smoothest flight this passenger has ever been on,¡± Allison said. ¡°Also the only flight, but I¡¯d definitely recommend. Five out of five stars. I¡¯ll tell anyone planning on travelling to the solar system.¡± She was still laughing, and could barely catch her breath after enthusing about her trip.


    ¡°I have new shoes in, Robert. Feel free to look,¡± Rowan said, with Robert giving Allison another smile before disappearing around a wall inside the store. ¡°Come on! I assume Miss Boots-in-her-Hands is the one shopping. Step up here.¡±


    Allison stepped off the bench, pulling her skirt back down as she realised the entire promenade probably saw her panties. She just hoped the image kept them entertained that night, and they didn¡¯t see too much. Then she stood on the pad Rowan indicated, while Rowan held her arms to keep her still.


    ¡°What¡¯s Robert¡¯s deal?¡± Angie asked.


    Still holding Allison in place Rowan looked at Angie and said, ¡°He¡¯s lovely. Doesn¡¯t like bitches. He told you he likes shoes and feet?¡± Angie and Allison both nodded, then Rowan pursed her lips and shrugged. ¡°That¡¯s his deal. He¡¯s good at it. And that¡¯s all he wants, to find shoes for women and help them try them on. He¡¯d do better than me at running this place, if he was allowed. Instead he brings the few women he connects with in here, sometimes other stores if he feels they¡¯d suit her better. There¡¯s nothing weird about him, that I know of. Except he¡¯s not great in bed, apparently. Women get bored of him and the shoes aren¡¯t enough.¡±


    Rowan pulled Allison off the pad and looked down at the impression Allison¡¯s feet had made, before dialling something into a manually controlled device she held in her hand. ¡°Go ask the starship for help finding shoes. I think you¡¯ll owe him.¡±


    ¡°Does he need...¡± Allison pointed at what were obviously her size measurements in Rowan¡¯s hand.


    ¡°No. He knows these measurements naturally. He¡¯s been looking at feet for years, then asking me if he¡¯s correct. He always is,¡± Rowan said. They all heard footsteps then Rowan called out, ¡°Robert, come help your friend find some shoes. It¡¯s obvious she¡¯s not a frequent purchaser of quality footwear and needs your expertise.¡±


    Robert came around the corner, somehow carrying three towers of boxes. ¡°I went into the store room, picked some out for Allison. I apologise. I know I should ask before I go in there.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re excited so we¡¯ll overlook it. This time! Go on,¡± Rowan said.


    Robert walked further into the main area of a store with Angie and Allison following, right to before the biggest wall of shoes, then indicated for both of them to sit on the bench. ¡°I assumed you¡¯re not too good in heels,¡± he said. Angie laughed and Allison cringed. ¡°That¡¯s fine, I¡¯ve picked you out some that¡¯ll get you used to them.¡±


    He began to open a few boxes and the shoes all either had a low heel, were in a wedge, or had a higher, chunky heel. There were no flats, and no sandals without a heel.


    ¡°Do I have to?¡± Allison asked. ¡°I¡¯m not the shortest person.¡± She was average height for a man so a little above average for a woman. Not towering, certainly not over Angie but she wouldn¡¯t be looking eye to eye with quite a few guys in the shoes Robert had selected.


    ¡°Yes! You do!¡± Angie said,.


    ¡°No,¡± Robert said. ¡°You¡¯ll feel sexy in them, though. And they¡¯ll make your ass look even better.¡± He smiled at her, looking up from one knee before her.


    Allison realised he hadn¡¯t seen her ass. He was always in front of her since they met.


    ¡°I noticed your hands were on it when you were carrying me,¡± she said.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t want to drop you. Is that an issue?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Allison said, getting defensive. ¡°Not really...¡± When she thought of his hands on her she felt something. A tightening within her, a contraction. A pulsing like desire. Longing. Want, almost. Like she wanted him... She couldn¡¯t think it... Instead she lifted and straightened her leg to let him slip the shoe on her foot, and as he did she really looked at him. He was a big guy and for some reason that pleased her, thinking of her in heels. Maybe with an ass.


    As he was slipping the other shoe on her foot he said, ¡°Your stockings are filthy from that floor, you¡¯ll need new ones to put on before we buy you your shoes.¡±


    ¡°I know where Rowan has them,¡± Angie said. ¡°You keep trying on shoes.¡±


    As Angie left Allison stood with a little help from Robert. The feeling in heels was different, quite different, but she felt she could manage. She took a few steps, then a few more, looking at Robert for approval. It wasn¡¯t too bad. She wouldn¡¯t be as confident as in boots but looking down at the shoes they were nice. She¡¯d admired women in this style before.


    Allison walked back to Robert, a little more confident, when a wave of dizziness hit her. She wavered in her step and put fingers to her forehead, her other arm out reaching for something.


    Robert rushed to her as she could just make out through blurry vision. Then she felt his arm around her shoulder and another taking her elbow. ¡°Are you OK?¡± he asked.


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    ¡°New medication,¡± Allison managed.


    ¡°Come, sit down,¡± Robert said, surely moving her back to the bench.


    They both sat and Allison was about to ask if he¡¯d put his arm around her to keep her steady when she noticed his arm had never left. She leaned into him and he held her securely. Closing her eyes she thought Doctor Grace was correct. Being held made a difference.


    Eventually Allison felt better, like she could walk again. Whether she could walk in heels was a different matter but she wanted to find out. ¡°I¡¯m OK, now. I¡¯m certain,¡± she said to Robert. ¡°We can go back to shoes, if you don¡¯t mind.¡±


    ¡°Are you sure?¡± Robert asked, still holding her.


    ¡°Certain, and play with my feet while you do it.¡±


    ¡°As a thank you or because you like it? I don¡¯t want to trade anything. I¡¯m enjoying everything as is. You don¡¯t have to do anything for me,¡± Robert said.


    ¡°I want you to. I don¡¯t know if I¡¯ll like it but I want to find out,¡± Allison said, wondering what it¡¯d be like to be touched; after an invitation to touch her. ¡°I think you¡¯re nice, whatever I feel about...¡± She wanted to know how she¡¯d feel but couldn¡¯t say it to him; to say she wanted a man to touch her.


    Then they got down to footwear, with Robert stroking her feet as Allison had shoes placed on them, and straps tied to secure them, and toes pinched for measure. And so Allison was trying on shoes, with a man interested in her, and after a while she was even trying to strut. After thirty or so minutes of laughing and Allison eventually trying poses they both were sitting again.


    ¡°Which do you want?¡± Robert asked.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, I¡¯ll have to ask Angie,¡± Allison admitted. ¡°Where is she?¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s here! And I found you a purse as well, which you need. You can¡¯t keep carrying your conn, setting it down or having me hold it. Your stockings are in here too, enough new ones for the week.¡±


    Rowan was standing next to Angie. ¡°Angie wants Allison to try on a shoe. You know the 21 line, black, wedge, closed toe, elasticated fabric¡ª¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re planning on wearing more denim?¡± Robert asked.


    ¡°How did you know?¡± Angie replied.


    ¡°Those aren¡¯t the shoes you want. I¡¯ll get them but you don¡¯t want them. Sorry, Angie.¡±


    ¡°No problem,¡± Angie said. ¡°You seem to know shoes better than any woman I¡¯ve met. Pick her something.¡±


    Then he stood and left for the storeroom.


    ¡°The stockings are white, aren¡¯t they?¡± Allison asked Angie, who was holding a purse with tags still on it.


    ¡°You¡¯re a genius!¡± Angie said. ¡°Telepathic! And go into the room back there and let Robert watch you put them on.¡±


    ¡°No!¡± Allison said. ¡°No way!¡± Rowan was laughing and Angie simply smiled.


    ¡°You obviously like him. It¡¯s plain to see. Give him a little thrill! It¡¯s fun. Let him thrill you! He wants to. Have fun. ¡®New shoes, new woman,¡¯ isn¡¯t that what they say?¡±


    Allison shook her head and changed the subject. ¡°Is that the purse?¡± she asked. It was a brown leather satchel style, smaller and obviously a handbag, with a shoulder strap. It held its shape but it was still soft. She thought it would look good with denim, and she was willing to bow to wisdom at this point, even if the wisdom was to dress her like a twenty year old. She couldn¡¯t be bothered fighting anything. ¡°I like it. I¡¯ll get it.¡±


    ¡°And you won¡¯t have to pay a single credit,¡± Angie said. ¡°With your new man.¡±


    Allison scowled at Angie and Rowan laughed again, walking away. Then Robert was back, carrying two boxes.


    He knelt before Allison and opened the first box, which were the shoes Angie had picked out. Then he opened the second and took out another shoe. It was smooth black leather, at least Allison thought it was leather. The toe was round and wide, and the sole wasn¡¯t quite a platform but it wasn¡¯t thin. It had a big block heel as high as anything she¡¯d tried on. The top of the foot had thin layering of leather overlapping, all the way down to just before where the smooth toebox began. Allison thought they¡¯d look amazing with the white of white stockings. On her legs, on her feet. And they wouldn¡¯t be falling off. They looked solid!


    ¡°Oh wow!¡± Allison said, standing, impressed. ¡°Those are the ones I want!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll definitely stumble, and might trip, wearing those. They¡¯re beautiful but you¡¯re the one who doesn¡¯t want men rescuing her,¡± Angie said. ¡°The heel is high! They¡¯re powerful, but¡ª¡±


    ¡°Give me my purse, with my fresh stockings,¡± Allison said, grabbing her purse from Angie. ¡°I¡¯ve learned not all men are bad.¡± She also grabbed Robert. ¡°I need you to tell me if I get any snags. If you don¡¯t mind!¡± Then she lead him towards the room Angie had pointed to.


    In the private room, with Robert sitting on the sofa, holding the box of what Allison hoped would be her new shoes, as the door clicked shut behind her Allison realised who she was, what had been bubbling up since Robert held her close to him in a piggyback. Since she began to feel things, physically, for him. ¡°I need to be honest,¡± she said, feeling sick.


    ¡°I don¡¯t expect anything. Really,¡± Robert said, thoughts obviously on what a man and a woman usually get up to in private rooms.


    ¡°I¡¯m not quite who I say I am.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re imitating?¡± Robert said, smiling.


    ¡°Technically, no. I mean legally definitely not.¡± She held the hem of her skirt and forced herself to lift it. To show the unfortunate bulge in her panties. He had to see what she was. She had to be truthful about herself.


    ¡°If you hit me I won¡¯t scream. I promise. I¡¯m sorry. I am,¡± she said, as she knew Robert could see a lump behind the lace of her panties. But Robert was already standing, right on top of her. He grabbed her and before Allison knew it he was kissing her, deeply. He felt up her hip, up over the side of her bra, with one hand. He held her as he kissed her, with fire.


    ¡°Am I your first kiss?¡± he asked, as Alison noticed she felt the absence of his tongue in her mouth, wishing he¡¯d come back to her. Wishing he¡¯d hold her again.


    ¡°Yes, and I want another one,¡± she said looking at him. Needing him.


    ¡°No,¡± Robert said, matter of factly.


    ¡°Are you playing with me? Are you trying to make me desperate and get me on my knees?¡± Alison said, then her brow furrowed, this time not from withholding, or denying emotion. It was the opposite. ¡°Because I will. And I¡¯ll enjoy it. And so will you. I¡¯ll make sure you do!¡±


    ¡°I know I''d enjoy it, and I think you want to. The whole station is talking about this mysterious Allison and the rumours are running so fast I can¡¯t keep up with them. But you don¡¯t need to be fast. Take your time. If you want to do this again tomorrow message me.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not playing with me?¡± Alison thought for a second. ¡°You¡¯re not angry with me? With who I really am? You want¡ª¡±


    ¡°Angry with a woman who let me pick out shoes for her, stroke her feet, is about to let me buy her the heels she loves, along with her innocent, white stockings and a purse. And who just told me I¡¯m the first man she kissed? And she¡¯s not an idiot twenty year old!¡± He laughed. ¡°No! I¡¯m not angry. This is my best day in years. You let me give you a piggyback! You¡¯re amazing!¡±


    Allison¡¯s face turned plain. After a moment she said, ¡°Thank you. I didn¡¯t realise how much I needed this. Or you.¡± She paused. ¡°Do you want my boots?¡±


    ¡°Your boots?¡± Robert asked, sitting down again.


    ¡°No, that¡¯s stupid. They probably smell wrong, or something. I don¡¯t really know what foot guys like. They¡¯re boots from when I was¡ª¡±


    ¡°Yes. I do want your boots! I¡¯ll buy a stand to put them on and won¡¯t get rid of them unless I somehow end up married and my wife forces me to throw them away. And even then I¡¯ll put them in storage. I want your boots. And I never want to forget today.¡±


    And he was standing again. Holding Allison again. Kissing Allison again. And Allison let it happen, needing every bit of it. Realising she needed this. She wanted Robert. And a part of her was wondering if this was what she always wanted, she just didn''t know it was possible.

 #0007 - New, Old Friends and New, New Beginnings

    With her eyes closed, and her second kiss with Robert ending, in Rowan¡¯s private room, feeling the absence of tongue another time, Allison said, ¡°This is my perfect day, too. I think. Certainly the best day of my life.¡±


    ¡°Do you want to sit down for a bit?¡± Robert asked, a look of wonder on his face.


    ¡°If I sit, I¡¯ll melt,¡± Allison admitted, remembering her skirt was still flipped up by her waist ¡ª to reveal who she really was ¡ª so she forced herself to get on with being who she really was.


    She unhooked her garters and while Robert watched she put on her white stockings. The sign of her virginity. The sign she hadn¡¯t tried to become a mother, or so men believed. And soon she was ready for her new shoes Robert had perfectly chosen for her.


    Then she was walking back into the store, having kissed her first man, and holding his hand.


    Her blood ran cold. Adam was standing at the front of the store.


    Her grip tightened on Robert¡¯s hand, then she turned to him, forcing herself to calm. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I need to talk to the man who reported me.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll pay for all these,¡± Robert said, with an edge to his voice.


    Allison took her conn from Angie, who was standing looking at Adam, and they both walked to him.


    ¡°How did you find me?¡± Allison asked.


    ¡°You know men can track a woman if her ID is in his conn, once they enter a public place.¡±


    Allison shook her head, ever so slightly, almost imperceptibly, but she knew Adam had seen it. ¡°I also know unless the woman justifies it you are in serious trouble. And that security are even less willing to justify it than the woman. You already have a caution today! Why are you being so stupid!? You left me! You abandoned me! You told me to enjoy my new life and walked away! With all that was happening to me!?! That still is!!¡±


    ¡°Please, just listen to me. I¡¯ll be honest,¡± Adam said. ¡°Completely honest with you.¡±


    ¡°I was honest with you!¡± Allison said, trying to control her voice, but she knew she was raising it; that it was cracking. She took a breath. ¡°I didn¡¯t know why I was like that, I still don¡¯t know, but I was being honest with you. This is me. Really me. Not just because the court agrees. And I don¡¯t blame you for reporting me, I blame you for leaving me!¡±


    ¡°I know this is you. I know.¡± Adam nodded, almost to himself, as if seeking courage. ¡°I walked around for a while, after I left you ¡ª I¡¯m sorry ¡ª I got a call from someone who said they were a citizen representative; a voter. I didn¡¯t know what that meant. Apparently when the court is looking to punish a citizen they have someone argue their case. He said my case was the easiest he ever had...¡±


    Adam looked at Allison but Allison simply kept listening. ¡°He said I was correct to report you, based on what I knew. What everyone knows, or believes they know, or believed they knew. He said court decisions aren¡¯t all the court records. He said in my notes, about the report, he wanted it written that I was shocked but I was a good friend to you, Allison. That I always was. He wanted to note my character is that I would continue to be a good friend, once I got over the shock.¡±


    ¡°So you came to watch me?¡± Allison asked. ¡°To judge me? To see if you could tolerate a freak like me?¡±


    ¡°He said the longer I left it the harder it would be to face you. And that was pretty much that. I kept walking for a bit, and thinking, and I knew he was right. I don¡¯t know what¡¯s happening but I don¡¯t think you do either. You looked to me for help. I didn''t help. That was wrong. I should have helped you. I should have seen how serious this is to you; the risk you took. I just thought about myself. So I decided to track you, and you didn¡¯t turn up for an age. I was getting worried about you. I even went to where you¡¯re squatting. The second you popped up in my tracker on this floor I came as quickly as I could. I was really worried about you.¡±


    Allison could feel herself shaking. She felt cold.


    ¡°You were always my friend, and it seems you were always really Allison, even when you were someone slightly strange who¡¯d be friends with women. So why can¡¯t I be a friend to a woman? To you?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know if I¡¯m¡ª¡±


    ¡°And you are a woman. I saw you getting a ride on a man¡¯s back. I saw you trying on shoes, and having fun. I was watching from the middle of the promenade through the doors. I saw you go into a private room with a man. Who else could you be doing all that but my female friend Allison? If you¡¯ll still be my friend.¡± Adam squared his shoulders, setting his arms straight by his sides. Waiting.


    Tears were beginning to form in Allison¡¯s eyes from the heaviness of the emotions, their press, and weight and movement, that she felt over just a few, serious words; in shock for what she was; over what this meant. It wasn¡¯t just someone who could never figure her out before ¡ª Angie accepting her ¡ª it was her oldest friend, her only real friend, Adam, accepting her. The man who¡¯d known whoever she¡¯d been since she was unleashed ¡ª when she believed she was a man ¡ª now accepting her as a woman. Accepting what she was, who she¡¯d become. What she¡¯d chosen. A choice she¡¯d made that seemingly no-one on the station had ever made before, or could imagine making.


    ¡°Send your tracker to my conn,¡± Allison said, sniffing.


    Adam took his black conn from his pocket while Allison held her rainbow one in front of her. The tracking justification was sent to hers. She pressed the confirmation. She¡¯d justified a man hunting her down; she¡¯d justified a man tracking her for a good reason, and spared him the punishments that awaited had he got it wrong.


    ¡°Thank you,¡± Adam said.


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    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Adam. I know it was a shock. I couldn¡¯t have expected anything else. I¡¯m sorry I worried¡ª¡±


    Allison¡¯s conn let out an extremely loud, continuous screeching. ¡°What the fuck is that?¡± Allison roared, smacking a fist against her side, about ready to sit on the floor from exhaustion.


    ¡°Private call,¡± Rowan said.


    ¡°Private call? What¡¯s that? From who? Fucking fuck!¡± Allison nigh on screamed.


    ¡°Look at the ID. Don¡¯t ignore it. You hold your conn to your ear to hear.¡± Rowan showed Allison the general idea with her own rainbow conn. ¡°You can go into the room you just came from for privacy! Go!¡±


    Alison turned around and took a step towards the room she¡¯d kissed Robert in as she looked at the ID. It said ¡®One.¡¯ The man who started all this.


    Her steps quickened.


    Allison¡¯s cheeks puffed out with air then she blew an exhalation through her lips.


    The door closed behind her as her conn continued to screech. She had to answer, even just to shut it up. This was One, the man ¡ª whoever he was ¡ª who started her down her path to womanhood; the path to womanhood legally, medically, and in her own mind.


    She pressed the accept button, held her conn to her ear and closed her eyes tight. ¡°Yes?¡± she said.


    ¡°How are we doing?¡± One asked, bright and cheerful.


    ¡°What?¡± Allison said, stunned, shaking her head with her eyes still closed. ¡°How are we doing?!¡±


    ¡°Are you sitting down? Is there a seat nearby? Take a load off, fill me in on what you¡¯ve been up to!¡±


    ¡°What the fuck are you talking about?¡± Allison asked, eyes now wide.


    ¡°Come on, I want all the gossip,¡± One said. ¡°Sit down, rest your feet, fill me in.¡±


    Allison rubbed her forehead with her free hand. ¡°What¡¯s happening? What the fucking fuck is¡ª¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know!¡± One said, excitedly. ¡°Sit down! Tell me what¡¯s happening! I might be able to help. All the details. I¡¯m doing nothing right now. Tell me about your day.¡±


    Allison rubbed her hand even harder against her forehead then threw her arm to the air before looking for the couch. She sat herself down and forced herself to sit back into the seat. To try to relax. ¡°Well... I guess I¡¯m a woman, now...¡± Allison said.


    ¡°Are you happy with it?¡± One asked.


    ¡°Yes!!¡± Allison said, annoyed.


    ¡°Good! I knew you would be. Those brown smokes are heavy and you had one of the best reactions I¡¯ve ever dealt with. You were a pleasure to work with. I enjoyed myself.¡±


    ¡°How did you do it? How am I a woman?¡±


    ¡°I thought you¡¯d tell me,¡± One said, no longer really telling her something he was certain of.


    ¡°I mean the first message, from The Governor¡¯s Office, welcoming me to the station. I¡¯ve never seen anyone hack like that. An entirely new, official ID. And the court? Did they believe it? How did you¡ª¡±


    One laughed. ¡°Hack? Not at all. I have a friend in the office. Nice woman, she has trouble sleeping, well, trouble getting good sleep, or waking up properly, no-one is certain on what it exactly is, and I help her with that. She said if I ever needed help with anything just let her know. It was easy, I just said I found a mistake with an ID. It wasn¡¯t a big deal. Then the court saw sense when they looked at you, I assume.¡±


    ¡°Not a big deal? You called in a favour, just like that?¡±


    ¡°No. No favour. Friends help each other. I was helping her, really, and the station. I found a mistake. How are your friends, Allison? I presume you¡¯ve told a few people, or they contacted you?¡±


    ¡°They¡¯re good with me, I suppose,¡± Allison said, cautiously. ¡°At least now, I think. They¡¯re with me. Well... Outside the door.¡±


    ¡°OK, that¡¯s nice to hear. Everyone¡¯s over the shock.¡± Allison nodded to herself wondering if she was over the shock with Adam. ¡°I¡¯ve left something in your apartment for you. I need you to get to work. It¡¯s a backpack. Filled with tins of those rollies, basic supplies. There¡¯s two tins with the name Des on them. One is for you, the other is for him. Just go to his apartment, his location is on your conn now. Deliver the rollies, he¡¯ll probably want to chat for a while, smoke with him. Enjoy it. Nothing to worry about. If you go in the next ninety minutes you should have your evening to yourself and your friends. How many friends are there with you?¡±


    Allison looked towards the door as if she could see through it. ¡°Two? Three?¡±


    ¡°Those are different numbers, Allison,¡± One said.


    ¡°Two old friends. One new friend. I kissed him,¡± she said, the final words ones she couldn¡¯t keep inside herself, not realising she¡¯d actually said them until she did. That it was real.


    ¡°Oh, yes! Come on! That¡¯s the best bit of gossip I¡¯ve heard all day. First kiss? Did you enjoy it?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, my first... And yeah...¡± Allison said, feeling warmer, smiling, then forcing herself to stop. She didn¡¯t even really know who One was.


    ¡°OK, bring your two old friends with you to your apartment. If they¡¯re the first with you now they¡¯re the ones you can talk to about your new job. Please try not to talk to other people about it. Or smoke what I say you can smoke outside the three of you.


    ¡°Yes, the three of you can smoke among yourselves, we don¡¯t want you getting isolated again. And smoke with the clients what I say is for your clients. Only smoke in your apartment, or where voters tell you you can. Those are rules.


    ¡°Citizens don¡¯t smoke, generally, certainly not what you have. If you slip up and tell other people about your job just ignore it after letting me know. People make mistakes, it¡¯s not the end of the station.¡±


    Allison wasn¡¯t feeling drunk before, but somehow, now, she felt more sober than her previous rather stern level of sobriety. Albeit sobriety amidst exasperation. ¡°Is this illegal?¡± Allison asked.


    ¡°No. There¡¯s a note on your conn from The Governor¡¯s Office approving all this. Not even from me talking to a friend, it¡¯s an official job just not a common one. You¡¯ll have the accesses you need as you need them. It¡¯s all above board, we just don¡¯t talk about it unless it¡¯s necessary, either with citizens or voters. You happy?¡±


    ¡°About what?¡± Allison asked.


    ¡°You¡¯re a woman, does that make you happy?¡±


    ¡°Yes...¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re working a new job, how about that?¡±


    ¡°I suppose,¡± Allison said.


    ¡°You kissed a man, does that make you happy?¡± One asked, and Allison could hear the smile he was wearing.


    ¡°You really are a fucking gossip aren¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°The best at it!¡±


    One laughed a big, roaring belly laugh, with a bass drive to it straight from his depth, then he turned serious again. ¡°Anything you¡¯re not happy about?¡±


    It was concern, real concern, but Allison didn¡¯t want concern after she¡¯d just been interrogated by a giant fucking gossip.


    ¡°My conn was screaming at me when you called me, can you stop that? Or stop calling me? Send a fucking message! Who ever heard of calls that weren¡¯t security check ups?¡± Allison said, somehow hearing another, distant scream in her mind.


    One laughed again, and Allison knew he really did thrive on mayhem. He was far more familiar and open than a few hours ago. A few hours ago when it was all serious business, constantly. ¡°Talk to Des about that. He¡¯ll fix it. He¡¯s a smart man. Now, go on, explain all this to your friends, after saying goodbye to your boyfriend. Enjoy yourself, it¡¯s a fun job. Tough at times but rewarding.¡±


    Allison paused for a moment then said, ¡°OK,¡± at which point One ended the call, and it was only then Allison realised she wanted to point out Robert wasn¡¯t her fucking boyfriend!

 #0008 - Voters and Childs Play, and Voters

    Allison forced herself to calm down. It wasn¡¯t a big deal; One, her new employer, saying she had a boyfriend. He was just being a bitch; an annoying bitch who was trying to poke at her. He wanted to rile her up and get her feisty, and then he¡¯d laugh.


    Then she realised she¡¯d never thought of a man as a bitch before but she¡¯d definitely heard women referring to men as just such a thing.


    Without even realising she found herself looking at her conn and the message from The Governor¡¯s Office. Not even a message, an official communication a little like her earlier one, but this one a pass, a guarantee, with both The Governor¡¯s Office stamp and the security approval symbol. It basically said anything she did for One, or within the spirit of One¡¯s instructions, was entirely above board.


    She shook her head. She¡¯d never heard of ¡®the spirit¡¯ of something being considered. Something either was or wasn¡¯t. That was what the court was for. But it was official, almost certainly. No-one had ever hacked this system, as far as she knew. But then she hadn¡¯t been a woman yesterday, and couldn¡¯t even have imagined it being possible.


    Allison chased the doubt from her mind and walked back out to her gang, after two steps remembering she really did not know how to wear heels. She didn¡¯t really care though. She¡¯d manage and they looked amazing.


    ¡°Thanks, Robert,¡± Allison said. ¡°I have to go. I¡¯ll message you tomorrow... If you want my ID?¡± She smiled, holding out her conn, feeling small, and feeling something else but she wasn¡¯t quite sure what that feeling was.


    Robert smiled back and handed her her purse, then they confirmed the ID exchange. ¡°I¡¯m looking forward to it. I had an amazing time with you. We can just go for a walk. I¡¯ll buy you lunch and if you¡¯re up to it we¡¯ll try you on stairs.¡±


    Allison smiled again and put her conn in her purse, slinging it over her shoulder; her first purse, and she stroked its leather surface. Then she reached out and touched Robert¡¯s hand before clumsily turning and taking a few steps towards Angie and Adam. ¡°You two need to come with me,¡± she said, with a low voice. ¡°I have to fill you in on some things that happened.¡±


    Angie and Adam exchanged a look as Allison walked through the store¡¯s doors, calling out as she did her thanks to Rowan, who smiled warmly at her and waved.


    Allison walked on and Angie and Adam caught up.


    ¡°Take her arm, you idiot,¡± Angie said.


    Adam put his arm through Allison¡¯s and she felt a little more stable. ¡°Thanks,¡± she said. And she didn¡¯t say any more, simply leading them to the elevators, and when she asked for the floor Angie and Adam looked confused, but still didn¡¯t say anything. Then she led them to her apartment, swiping her way in.


    ¡°This is new,¡± Adam said.


    ¡°What isn¡¯t?¡± Allison said. She walked to the delivery room near the hallway end of the apartment. Swiping in to that, larger than normal, she found another chair ¡ª a comfortable armchair ¡ª and a backpack. It was made of canvas and in a rainbow pattern like her conn. She picked it up and went back into the living room. ¡°There¡¯s an extra chair in there, Adam. I can¡¯t really carry it in these shoes. Could you bring it in?¡±


    Then they were all sitting down, Allison and Angie on the blue two-person couch, Adam in the armchair, the low table in the middle. Allison explained everything she knew. ¡°I don¡¯t know anything other than that...¡± she finally said, finishing up.


    ¡°I don¡¯t even know what to say about this,¡± Angie said. ¡°I know the court ruling was different but this is totally different.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, your point about this station being mysteries and secrets seems real now,¡± Allison said. ¡°Really real.¡± Her conn beeped, a normal-message beep. ¡°Please let this be boring. Please just let it be some guy I knew asking me ¡®What the fuck is up with the Allison shit?¡¯¡±


    She read through the message. Then, with Angie and Adam watching her, tapped some confirmations into her conn. Both their conns beeped too, a slightly different beep that none of them had heard before.


    ¡°What¡¯s this?¡± Angie asked.


    ¡°A group chat? I think?¡± Allison said. ¡°One messaged me to say I should set you up with it, if all three of us need to talk. I don¡¯t know why we wouldn¡¯t just meet up in that case. He thinks it¡¯s necessary.¡±


    Angie and Allison¡¯s conns beeped again. ¡°Yeah, I got it,¡± Allison said.


    ¡°Thanks for saying, ¡®Hello,¡¯ Adam. In the ¡®Group Chat¡¯ is it, Allison?¡± Angie said, looking up from her conn.


    Allison nodded confirmation.


    ¡°This is weird. All of this is so weird,¡± Adam said. ¡°I don¡¯t know if I want to smoke any of that stuff with you if this is the result. What if I turn into a plant?¡±


    They all laughed, and Allison felt some relief for the first time since she left Rowan¡¯s shoe store.


    ¡°Well, I have to see my voter. Get my ¡®job¡¯ done. We can meet up again later, if our brains haven¡¯t melted, and if I have any more answers I¡¯ll tell you,¡± Allison said.


    She stood, and slung the backpack onto her back.


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    ¡°Can I stay and look at your clothes?¡± Angie asked.


    ¡°Will we be able to get off this level?¡± Adam asked. ¡°Without Allison, I mean. This is a secure level, and we didn¡¯t break in so we might not be able to break out.¡±


    Allison took the backpack off again, sat down and laid it on her lap, then messaged One on the channel she received his message about the group chat on.


    ¡°I¡¯ll find out. And I should probably...¡± She began to look into the backpack, which unzipped all the way to the bottom on both sides. Inside were divisions containing tin after tin, in different sizes. And lighters in a section at the top. The tins with Des¡¯s name on them were in the uppermost vertical level.


    Closing up the backpack she received another message. ¡°One says you two can access this level freely and I can grant and remove entrance to my apartment as I please, no approval from security needed. And I have access to a quite a few apartments on this level. Said I¡¯m free to scavenge them for anything I need.¡±


    Adam took a deep breath through his nose. ¡°If you survive this ¡®job¡¯ with the Des guy I want to see that message from The Governor¡¯s Office. This is insanity.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, of course. I¡¯ll message both of you when I¡¯m done,¡± Allison said.


    ¡°You can message the group chat,¡± Angie said, with a scoff.


    ¡°Yeah, of course,¡± Allison said. ¡°And stay as long as you like. If you find any clothes that fit or shoes that fit feel free try to try them on and take them, Angie. The same for you, Adam.¡± Even Adam putting on a dress wouldn¡¯t surprise Allison at this point.


    They all laughed, all feeling like they needed a drink. ¡°Who knows anything any more?¡± Adam said. ¡°It¡¯s obvious I have no clue about a single a fucking thing on this station!¡±


    Then Allison was getting out of an elevator, not even thirty metres from Des¡¯s apartment.


    The voters'' hallway was nicer than citizens'' hallways. Not as nice as the hospital level, just more plush. It was still low-ish lighting, like general citizens¡¯ accommodations, but it was details like the lights not flickering, being cleaner and the carpet seeming thicker. The air almost seemed perfumed as well, as though there was a just perceptible scent to it.


    She stood outside the apartment that was supposed to be Des¡¯s, according to her conn, and drew a deep breath. Then she waited. And kept waiting. She¡¯d literally never been on a voter¡¯s level let alone in one of their apartments. She assumed it was the same swipe to announce herself but this was, well, immense. She couldn¡¯t believe where her day had taken her, and as she thought that her wrist did reach out and swipe.


    After a twenty or so seconds the door opened. A man in his sixties, with bare feet and an old pair of worn, comfortable denim jeans along with a plain turquoise t-shirt stood there. ¡°Come in, Allison,¡± he said. ¡°How¡¯s One?¡±


    This was obviously more normal to him than it was to her, and if it wasn¡¯t he certainly wasn¡¯t showing it. Allison realised her teeth were clenched and relaxed her jaw, and when the pressure eased after a few seconds she spoke the truth. ¡°I really don¡¯t know how he is, apart from having fun. He was laughing about me kissing a boy.¡±


    The man laughed at hearing about One¡¯s laughing, she hoped, and suddenly everything seemed fine. ¡°He¡¯s doing well then. Now, please, come in! I am Des, by the way. You did find the right apartment.¡±


    Allison looked around; it was a normal apartment. A little fancier than the few fancier citizen¡¯s apartments she¡¯d been in, but not ridiculously so. There was art on the wall; real art, again. The carpet would fit in a citizen¡¯s apartment, so would the furniture. The walls were painted dark like almost all citizens¡¯ apartments. There was maybe a little more furniture but she could imagine an older citizen having an apartment like this, if they saved their credits and wanted it.


    ¡°Do you want a drink?¡± Des asked.


    ¡°Sure,¡± Allison said. ¡°Thanks.¡± Des led her through an archway. The room inside it was what appeared to be a kitchen, shocking Allison. She¡¯d only seen guardians of children with kitchens; her various guardians, at times, and she¡¯d heard some cooks shared private kitchens. ¡°This is a¡ª¡±


    ¡°Yeah, voters can have kitchens if they want. Some do, some don¡¯t. Most don¡¯t, unless they have a family, or are a little older. My friends are all extremely busy so I rarely go out for dinner, I don¡¯t want to sit on my own eating. That¡¯s a ¡®me¡¯ issue. Will you have a beer? I don¡¯t think you¡¯d have seen one like this. I¡¯m guessing you¡¯re open to new things given you¡¯re working for One.¡±


    Allison thought about it, she didn¡¯t really do much new, ever, before today, but new things were turning out great, sort of. ¡°Yeah, I¡¯d love to.¡±


    Des began to pour what looked like a brownish, almost ruby beer into a glass, not filling it before setting it down, then he poured another one. ¡°This isn¡¯t normal for voters, I had to work very hard to get my own beer tap in here. Lots of favours. And stupid, stupid paperwork. It was ridiculous.¡±


    He took a bottle of what appeared to be whiskey off a shelf, along with two shot glasses. After pouring them he handed a whiskey to Allison, they clinked glasses and knocked them back. ¡°Get the heart racing!¡± he said.


    ¡°It sure did,¡± Allison said. It was awful whiskey, not that it tasted absolutely horrific ¡ª it was just pretty bad ¡ª it was that it seemed stronger than usual, more powerful.


    ¡°How was your heart before that? Pounding? Nervous? Fluttering?¡±


    Allison rolled her head on her neck, still feeling the whiskey. ¡°No. I was outside your door. I stood there for a bit, building courage. But as soon as I saw you it was fine.¡± Allison blinked, thinking the last of the whiskey burn was just about going away. ¡°Well, when I told you I kissed a boy. And you laughed. I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m calling him a boy! What¡¯s wrong with me?¡±


    ¡°Oh, fuck! I didn¡¯t think we¡¯d be back on the whiskey before we¡¯d begun to smoke. You¡¯re one of the best runners I¡¯ve had in ages,¡± Des said, laughing again, as he poured more beer into the glasses, filling them up, with the beer already in there having lost any cloudiness to it, and having turned black and thick looking.


    They were sitting down within a few moments, Allison with her beer before her, along with a new tumbler of whiskey, the same for Des, and a new bottle of whiskey between the two of them. Allison¡¯s backpack of tobacco tins was next to her. ¡°Do you want your smokes?¡± Allison asked.


    ¡°No, it can wait. What do you think of the beer?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s nice, totally different. I don¡¯t know if I could drink it all night. I can¡¯t quite describe what it is but I like it. I wouldn¡¯t even guess it was beer if I just saw it.¡±


    Des nodded. ¡°Yeah, it went out of style with citizens years back. Few people remember it. Occasionally a bar with older men will request a few barrels and get approval. They enjoy it then go back to what you have now. The current one you have available in citizen bars is a stayer, always has been. Now, this boy thing? Calling him a ¡®boy?¡¯¡¯


    Allison groaned. ¡°I forgot about it, again. That¡¯s going to haunt me forever. Supposedly voters do it, often, calling people boy and girl, or a child? Calling citizens that, at least. Citizens just don¡¯t say it.¡±


    ¡°Either you¡¯re growing up,¡± Des said. ¡°Or maybe you¡¯re thinking all sweet and innocent, cute child things.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m an adult!¡± Allison protested. She¡¯d turned twenty over four years ago, but she did feel young in that moment, and despite saying, and knowing, she was an adult she felt like she knew nothing. Although that wasn¡¯t an issue where she was, with Des. Even with all this being so strange and new ¡ª her job, her gender, her secrets, meeting with voters on voter levels, in their apartments, that had kitchens ¡ª despite everything she was really just having a beer with someone. And he seemed pleasant. Unfazed and accepting.


    ¡°That¡¯s why voters say it to citizens. They want to feel more mature and enlightened. More adult, I guess,¡± Des said, taking a drink from the whiskey glass, then from the beer glass, then another smaller sip of whiskey. Then he rolled his eyes, seemingly annoyed.


    Allison laughed. ¡°You don¡¯t seem impressed,¡± she said, with a smile, relaxing, feeling normal, somehow. She took a sip of the whiskey, then the beer; the pairing worked.


    ¡°It¡¯s voters who make me fill out paperwork just to get this beer. And it¡¯s every time. I rarely even go through the entire keg before it¡¯s gone sour. They¡¯re awfully officious people. I¡¯ll take my tin now, if you don¡¯t mind. They¡¯re aggravating me, thinking of them.¡±


    Des knocked back the whiskey and poured himself another measure? ¡°Who in their right mind would want to be voter? Would you want to be a voter, Allison? Do you think you¡¯d enjoy being a voter?¡±

 #0009 - Winter Fires and Upheaval

    Allison unzipped her backpack and took out her and Des¡¯s tin, the two tins with his name on them, handing one of them and a lighter to him; the tins containing the tobacco from what she knew now was her new job. And she was a runner, according to Des. Taking tobacco and rollies to people, and maybe smoking with the clients, she figured, and maybe trying smoking them herself with Angie and Adam.


    Allison was thinking about Des¡¯s joke, the rhetorical question, about her becoming a voter and how much they annoyed him as Des opened his tin and took two of the rollies out, offering one to her. ¡°I think I¡¯m supposed to smoke my own,¡± Allison said.


    ¡°I insist, and you¡¯ll offend me if you don¡¯t take it,¡± he said.


    Allison nodded, took the rollie and lit it, drawing and inhaling. When she looked up he¡¯d done the same. This time there was actually smoke from it, unlike earlier in the day. ¡°What do you think?¡± He opened a drawer in the table and pulled out an ashtray, placing it down.


    ¡°That I¡¯m only supposed to smoke in places voters tell me it¡¯s OK to smoke in, and I didn¡¯t check. I don¡¯t know if I lit first or you.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know either, does it bother you, though?¡± Des asked, with real curiosity.


    Allison took another drag and watched the plumes as she exhaled the smoke.


    ¡°You know the rare times they turn the cold on? Really cold? Winter cold?¡± Allison said. Des nodded, him also smoking, seemingly relishing it. ¡°It feels like when they approve a floor for fires and fireplaces. And you finally get let in. You try to find a quiet bar with a big fireplace, where there¡¯s peace, and you curl up in an armchair next to the fire drinking a mulled drink and everything is pure comfort. So, yeah, no. That¡¯s how I feel, after this smoke. Lighting it up without checking isn¡¯t important. I don¡¯t think anyone would mind me smoking here even if I¡¯m not supposed to. If I stopped as soon as I remember.¡±


    ¡°Not even the court? If they found out? Smoke is serious, smoke is dangerous, on a station, with the associated fire risk. Voters are only allowed smoke in designated places and most citizens have never even seen tobacco.¡±


    Allison rubbed the side of her face then cast a glance to the side, as if to get some distance on things. ¡°No. I don¡¯t think it¡¯d matter. I¡¯ve been somehow approved to do this. Along with, well, being me. I don¡¯t think the court would really mind. If they¡¯re in charge of the law they¡¯re not stupid. I¡¯ll be sure to check in the future, I hope.¡±


    Des exhaled some smoke he¡¯d been holding in. ¡°What¡¯s your opinion on One?¡±


    Allison got serious, at least in tone. ¡°He¡¯s an idiot, and sort of quite lovely, and annoying. But mostly a giant gossip!¡± She¡¯d changed to pissed off, then amused, as her sentence went on. She¡¯d even put faux outrage in her words by the end.


    A cackle broke out of Des¡¯s mouth. ¡°You¡¯ve read him perfectly. Except I¡¯ve never found him annoying, what did he do? You¡¯re not annoyed about your new life?¡± Des asked, looking perhaps a little concerned.


    ¡°When he did some private call thingy my conn began to absolutely scream. I nearly threw it at a wall. My day hadn¡¯t exactly been relaxing. Although he did say you could sort it out, now that I think of it.¡±


    Des mumbled mumbled something into his wristband, his one a stylised, simple watch, and the most ridiculous music Allison had ever heard in her life began to fill the room. She burst out laughing at the stupidity. ¡°It¡¯s perfect, isn¡¯t it?¡± Des said.


    ¡°It¡¯s horrific, but brilliant. What the fuck is it?¡± Allison said, really feeling at peace with the smoke, and the beer, and the whiskey; crossing her legs and not being surprised or awed that she was in a skirt. This was all just so pleasant, and normal.


    She examined the pattern woven into her stockings, thinking it was basic and regular, the tracing of stretching, thin threads encasing her legs in a composed pattern a contrast to the raucous, wild saxophone blaring from hidden speakers in the room; order and machinery ¡ª or at least machine-made ¡ª meeting chaos.


    She looked at her shoes, that a man bought her. Her leather shoes, with a big heel, with her now female feet in them. Given to her by the man she kissed and wanted to kiss again, and more.


    ¡°If you want it to play whenever One calls, no matter the kind of call, sync your conn.¡±


    Allison took her conn from her purse while Des took his from the table and they both confirmed the sync with Des fiddling with authorisations. After about a minute the sync ended.


    ¡°I can¡¯t wait for it to play, especially in public,¡± Allison said, laughing again remembering whatever it was the music was; the madness.


    ¡°Give it a minute,¡± Des said, holding his fingers to his lips to quieten her.


    After Allison sat for a bit, wondering what the hell was going to happen, then hoping she wouldn¡¯t regret it when what she figured was about to happen did happen, then her conn did erupt into the hilarity Des had programmed it with. They both sat listening to the music play and laughing for a few seconds. ¡°Public answer, please?¡± Des said, through laughter.


    Allison hit the button.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± One asked. ¡°Des? Allison? What¡¯s happened? Is Des with you, Allison? Did you leave? Where are you?¡±


    Des¡¯s laughter, an outbreak of belly laughs was so uproarious Allison couldn¡¯t control her own laughter, despite One technically being her boss. ¡°Are you two fucking with me?¡±


    ¡°She has you figured out, One. She¡¯s amazing!¡± Des said.


    ¡°What are you two goons laughing at?¡± One asked.


    ¡°She called you an idiot and a gossip,¡± Des responded, still laughing.


    ¡°I am an idiot and a gossip, you are too, Des. What the fuck are you laughing at though? How much has he had to drink, Allison?¡±


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    Des waved his hand at Allison to tell her to stay quiet, it was obviously two old friends having fun annoying each other. Or one old friend riling up the other old friend. ¡°Remember the bar, during my stupid phase?¡±


    ¡°Yes...¡± One said.


    ¡°Remember the song I used to play? When some guy was drunkenly chasing a woman all over the station and ended up chasing her around our bar?¡±


    ¡°Fuck off!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s her call for you now. The one from the invention of the computer days. Pure technological revolution. Mayhem. Madness. Societal upheaval. Humanity almost wiped itself out and the amazing idiots were somehow still finding fun.¡±


    One laughed down the conn. ¡°When you put it that way it sounds like a compliment. And you two seem to be having fun. I can¡¯t believe that song survived thousands and thousands of years. Then you were the person to find it. And now it¡¯s going to play whenever I call Allison!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s perfect for you, One,¡± Allison said.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to hang up, then think twice every time I want to talk to you!¡± One said.


    Both her and Des said goodbye as One hung up. Then Des¡¯s watch chimed. ¡°Ooh, delivery,¡± he said, standing, with a bit of a wobble.


    Allison watched him walk to his delivery room and come out holding what looked like a sheet of paper. He took a quick look at the cover, reading something over, then glanced at the other three pages. It was really just one large sheet folded over, with type on it. ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± Allison asked.


    ¡°You¡¯re front page news,¡± Des said.


    ¡°What? News? Don¡¯t people just talk? And why me?¡±


    Des shook his head. ¡°People wouldn¡¯t know what to talk about if they weren¡¯t told. Certainly not voters. Like I said, or implied, they¡¯re usually idiots. Anyway, look...¡± he said, handing Allison the news-sheet.


    On the cover, in big print were the words Allison Zero. She read through the article, unsure of the language used. She understood it but didn¡¯t see the point of it, it was like a drunk person trying to make a boring story interesting, but it was her story. It was what happened to her today. It was already interesting, at least to her.


    It wasn¡¯t all the details, they couldn¡¯t know them all, but they knew she was a man, although they put that down to an administrative error in a ¡®shocking failure of care for a child!¡¯


    They knew she¡¯d been to a hospital floor to see a woman¡¯s doctor, they knew about her being reported to the court, of course, and there was praise for the court¡¯s ¡®wisdom.¡¯ And there apparently was a book about what she and Robert got up to in the private room in Rowan¡¯s shoe store.


    ¡°There¡¯s a book about me?¡± Allison asked. ¡°Like, one of those old-style made up things? From school?¡±


    ¡°You should ask a female friend about books, but this isn¡¯t that type of book. It¡¯s gambling. People are taking bets on what you and your new boyfriend got up to.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s not my boyfriend!¡±


    ¡°I know you kissed though. I could make a killing on it. Once someone finds out, words from you, or Robert ¡ª that¡¯s his name, right? ¡ª in public and someone hears you they¡¯ll pay out. It¡¯ll probably be a security report, telling the bookmakers, or the newspaper.


    ¡°And yeah, voters like to gamble. I¡¯ll say it again, they¡¯re morons, they¡¯re always losers in the long term, but if they¡¯re having fun, I suppose...¡±


    Allison went digging in her tin for one of the rollies, really feeling like she needed the cosy, warm fireplace feeling, right that instant. As she took the first drag it helped, but not enough. ¡°You mean voters are watching us, all of us? All the citizens? And talking about what we get up to!?¡±


    Des nodded. ¡°They have very little going on in their lives. And they¡¯re dull and miserable, mostly. Well... Not miserable. I find them miserable because they¡¯re dull. No life to them. Work, work, work. You¡¯d hate it. Most citizens would.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re amusement for them? We¡¯re toys? Start explaining this!¡±


    Des¡¯s expression didn¡¯t change, not hugely, maybe it became a little more accepting and a little less amused. ¡°It¡¯s about balance,¡± he said. ¡°What was the last major breakthrough in our history?¡±


    ¡°The jump drive,¡± Allison said, it was obvious, everyone knew that.


    ¡°And how long ago was that?¡±


    ¡°A long, long time ago,¡± Allison said. Something else everyone knew.


    ¡°Yeah. Everything¡¯s found a balance since then. We¡¯ve had time to adapt. We have no real needs apart from to continue to grow, the jump drive answered all that. Humanity just keeps growing, and nothing is stopping us. We have no threats. There¡¯s no-one else in the universe, as far as we know. We just exist to exist. And people are mostly content. Citizens mostly content in their citizen way, voters in their own.¡±


    Des was saying all this as if it was a matter of simple fact.


    ¡°I can¡¯t buy my own drinks any more. I can¡¯t eat the meals I want, where I want. And it¡¯s not just women! Rowan, today, said Robert would be better at running her shoe store than she is, if he was allowed to. Men, citizens at least, can¡¯t work in female targetted stores! Most men don¡¯t ever get enough credits to open a business! How are people ¡®content¡¯ with that?¡±


    Des shrugged, not seeming too perturbed by anything Allison had said. ¡°I don¡¯t know. They are though. Over the course of history we¡¯ve ranged from the strictest of rules for everyone to the loosest of rules, and everywhere in between. What we have now works for now, for here, for where we are. Do you think men should be allowed work in women¡¯s stores?¡±


    ¡°Why not!?¡± Allison said, indignant.


    ¡°Do you think women should be allowed buy their own drinks, and meals, and own businesses before they¡¯re forty? To not have to get pregnant?¡±


    ¡°Yes!¡± Allison said, not putting any thought into what she was saying, simply reacting on pure instinct, still all indignance.


    ¡°Then make it happen,¡± Des said, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. ¡°You decided you were a woman today, accepted it, perhaps, and now you are. Do you think other changes aren¡¯t possible, if they¡¯re needed, or wanted? We all want people to be happy. And for society to grow, at least in a balanced way. It does happen. Like I said, ask a female friend about books, fiction, to be precise.¡±


    Allison was shaking her head in utter disbelief. ¡°No! The law is the law. And voters decide the law. I¡¯m not a voter. And unless I have two babies who make it into the program I will never be a voter. And given my current circumstances I won¡¯t be having fucking babies!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve never voted in my life,¡± Des said, still seeming unbothered by what he was talking about. By what he was saying. ¡°Voting doesn¡¯t change things. Laws don¡¯t enforce things. People change things. People enforce things. You said the last great breakthrough was the jump drive. I¡¯m not sure if we ever get one as big as that again. All the changes since have been slow, incremental. Maybe the next real breakthrough is people?¡±


    Allison didn¡¯t realise it but she¡¯d smoked all her rollie, and it hadn¡¯t really helped with making her feel comfortable. She was agitated. And she wanted to message everyone, literally everyone she knew, and call them all fucks. And call Des a fuck. And call voters fucks.


    Her legs were shaking, as though she was ready to run, or lash out. She could feel her skin begin to itch, and she wanted to claw at it, or other people. To scratch at them and tear away their calm.


    ¡°When you leave here how many friends will you be meeting up with?¡± Des asked.


    ¡°Two,¡± Allison said, sharply, and frowning.


    ¡°Tell them to meet you in a bar on C36, Jenny¡¯s, as soon as they can make it. And give me a minute,¡± Des said, standing, then he walked to the kitchen.


    Allison messaged the location to the group chat, wanting to get away from Des; floor C36 ¡ª an old floor ¡ª and the name of the bar, saying she was pissed off and wanted to spill the beans on the asshole she met. She got a confirmation back from Angie that they¡¯d be leaving for there in the next few minutes just as Des was walking back in.


    Des carried two six packs of beer in big black bottles. ¡°Give one of these to Jenny. She¡¯ll be there, guaranteed. And she¡¯ll recognise them. Talk to her if you want. She might be more help than me at the moment. Tell your friends as little or as much as you want. Try not to spread our conversations further than that unless you¡¯ve considered things and thought on them a while.


    ¡°Whatever you do you know now there¡¯s nothing really wrong anyone can do. Maybe there¡¯ll be a small punishment, or a warning. Or maybe things will change? For good reason, maybe for bad. Who knows? If things change we¡¯ll figure it out.¡±


    ¡°Yeah...¡± Allison said, standing, with her stuff all packed up and carrying the six packs.


    ¡°And Allison?¡± Des said. Allison looked at him. ¡°I enjoyed this. Sit with it for a while. Talk to your friends, talk to Jenny, talk to One. Talk to people you believe in, and sometimes listen to people you don¡¯t. People are all we have in this universe.¡±


    Allison nodded, laden down by gear, and was soon stepping into the elevator taking her away from her first proper encounter with a voter. Where they really did just talk, like people. A different kind, but that¡¯s all it was, wasn¡¯t it? Just talking? And him royally pissing her off.

 #0010 - Greetings and the New Smokers

    With newfound confidence, potentially caused by lack of self-concern from tiredness, possibly from her annoyance at Des saying, ¡®Just change things,¡¯ Allison walked the main promenade of floor C36. It was an old floor with stores, bars and restaurants, businesses, everything. Businesses that could have been around for decades. It was quieter than one of the more youthful floors, floors Allison would be used to, and she was getting glances from the elderly patrons on their Saturday night.


    Allison didn¡¯t know if the glances were due to what she knew was her still rather masculine build and face, her looks the medication from Doctor Grace would slowly change, or due to her age, or that she was wearing white stockings. White stockings an entitlement and marker she couldn¡¯t imagine any visitor to this floor was permitted to wear in a long, long time. She didn¡¯t particularly care, though.


    She cared so little she actually approached a member of security and asked the woman where Jenny¡¯s was, the place, a bar she assumed, Des sent her to. It wasn¡¯t on the floor-map.


    The security worker didn¡¯t seem bothered by this at all, even though Allison had rarely seen someone approach anyone in security, certainly not sober.


    She directed Allison to where Jenny¡¯s was, hidden away, and as Allison began her walk there, feeling more and more weighed down by the bags and beers she carried, the security worker called out, ¡°And you¡¯ll have to knock!¡±


    Following the woman¡¯s instructions Allison eventually found Jenny¡¯s. There was the usual sign, although not illuminated, and barely even visible. No view inside was offered from the outside, and the door was closed. It was an antique style door, one with physical hinges that swung the door in or possibly out.


    Allison rearranged the six packs of beer she was carrying so she could knock. After a minute the door opened back, showing a heavy, black curtain behind it, and a strongly built man in his mid forties stood looking at her. ¡°Can I help?¡± he eventually asked, not moving out of the way.


    ¡°Are my friends here?¡± Allison asked, getting tongue tied, or brain tangled, seeing the man¡¯s inexpressive visage.


    ¡°Same age as you?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Allison said, fiddling with her grip on the six pack handles, getting flustered.


    ¡°Absolutely not,¡± the man said, but he didn¡¯t slam the door in her face or say anything else. He just stood, waiting.


    ¡°When they arrive, if they can find the place, the same man sent us all here, sort of.¡±


    The man at the door¡¯s face changed a little for the first time. He seemed mildly amused. ¡°And what was this man¡¯s name?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure I should say,¡± Allison said. ¡°He did say to give one of these six packs to Jenny, and she¡¯d be able to help me. If I wanted to talk about... I can¡¯t really say.¡±


    The man did actually laugh this time. ¡°Do you mind?¡± he asked, reaching for one of the bottles in the six pack holder. Allison shook her head. The man lifted a bottle a little to get a look at the label. ¡°And what¡¯s your name, if you can share that?¡±


    ¡°Allison,¡± Allison said.


    ¡°My name¡¯s Yes. Y-E-S. There are not a lot of people with my name. It¡¯s a very low ID number and it¡¯s never cycled. What are your friends¡¯ names?¡±


    ¡°Angie and Adam,¡± Allison said, feeling the conversation relaxing.


    ¡°Triple-A... Please come in Allison. Welcome! We¡¯re quiet tonight, as it happens. Sit at the bar and tell Sue you have a gift for Jenny; Sue will get her. I¡¯ll try to keep an eye out for your friends. I assume they¡¯ll stand out almost as much as you.¡±


    Allison walked into the bar. It was quiet! A few people turned to look at her but quickly looked away again, seemingly not caring about her arrival.


    There was actual wooden flooring, worn, and around low, mostly square tables were soft corduroy covered armchairs. Aged brass chandeliers were hanging from the low ceiling and there was a polished wooden bar counter with a few beer taps ¡ª certainly an amount of taps not necessary for a bar this size ¡ª along with a selection of bottles of even the same type of spirits on tiered shelving against the wall at the back. Multiple different styles of whiskeys, vodkas, gins, rums, and more.


    Allison placed the six packs on the counter, put her tobacco-tin-holding, rainbow backpack on the ground, sat up on the cushioned, tall stool and hung her purse off a hook in the bar counter.


    ¡°Hello, little princess. What can I get you?¡± a woman asked, picking one of the bottles out of the six pack holder and then placing it back.


    ¡°They¡¯re a present¡ª¡±


    ¡°For Jenny, I¡¯ll get her. I¡¯m Sue, and I could guess at who you are but I¡¯ll let you introduce yourself,¡± the woman, Sue, said.


    ¡°Allison. And thank you,¡± Allison said.


    Sue nodded and was soon walking back in behind the bar after leaving through a door a few moments before that. ¡°She¡¯ll be here in a minute,¡± Sue said. Then she went back to reading her conn.


    Allison saw the woman, Sue, wore leggings. That was extremely rare, verging on illegal. That was sportswear, for exercise and health. You were supposed to keep those for specialist activities if you were a citizen, or for a work need if you were over forty. Allison just had to accept Sue was working the bar, and willing to argue her bar-work needed her to not wear a skirt or dress.


    After a couple of minutes an old woman, fully grey, but with a pace to her step and a severe look to her face that was betrayed by a kindly and casual posture was walking to Allison. ¡°A present for me?¡± she asked.


    ¡°They¡¯re from¡ª¡±


    ¡°Let me see if I can figure it out,¡± the woman, obviously Jenny, said. She looked at the cap on the bottle and said straight away. ¡°Des... How is he? How did your conversation go, Allison? I¡¯m Jenny.¡±


    ¡°He seemed in fine spirits. Me, less so. I¡¯m not too sure what to make of it. It¡¯s a lot to take in,¡± Allison said.


    ¡°You got straight to serious stuff then, and he sent you to me. Comfortable smokes?¡± Jenny asked.


    Des told Allison that few citizens had even seen tobacco but that certainly didn¡¯t mean it was none. And he did send her to Jenny, telling Allison to talk to her. ¡°I thought they were like sitting in front of a fire, in a cold climate. Drinking mulled wine.¡±


    Jenny smiled and her kindly demeanour spread to the look on her face. ¡°Let me message Des my thanks. You two did have a tough conversation.¡± She took a smaller than usual conn, but still in rainbow, female colours out of a pocket in her dress and began to type a message, looking up at one point to say, ¡°Old thumbs, very slow.¡± Eventually she looked up, again, from her conn before stuffing it back in her pocket. ¡°So like sitting in front of a fire... One of your friends coming is female?¡±


    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.


    ¡°Yeah, Angie. And Adam is my other friend.¡±


    ¡°Do you think they¡¯re ready to smoke what you smoked with Des?¡± Jenny asked.


    Allison considered it for a few seconds. One did tell her she could, probably that she should, smoke what she¡¯d smoked with Angie and Adam. It shouldn¡¯t be a risk, but it seemed as though Jenny had some experience of this and was asking Allison for her own opinion. ¡°I don¡¯t see why¡ª¡±


    Allison¡¯s conn beeped. Jenny indicated for Allison to look at it. It was a message from One. ¡°If Jenny and I ever disagree over something I would suggest giving more weight to her opinion than mine.¡± Allison laughed.


    ¡°One?¡± Jenny asked.


    ¡°Yeah, he said to give more weight to your opinion than his if you two disagreed.¡±


    Jenny made a soft ¡®Hmmm,¡¯ looking weary but satisfied. ¡°He¡¯s still deferring to me then. Although thankfully it was only to give my opinion more ¡®weight.¡¯¡±


    Allison was confused by this, and it obviously showed. Jenny quickly said, ¡°What One is to you, I was to One. Now retired. We go back to just getting old. I don¡¯t think One is there yet, but there¡¯s a few approaching it. One will have been pleased with you. It¡¯ll encourage him. He¡¯s a lifer, I think.¡±


    Allison thought about the implications of what Jenny had said. ¡°There¡¯s more Ones than One?¡± she asked.


    ¡°It¡¯s a rare job, not the rarest but quite rare. And very necessary, more than most. At least we think so.¡±


    ¡°Does that mean I¡¯ll someday..?¡±


    ¡°No, you might find something else you want to do. You might get bored. Or tired. Maybe you¡¯ll want to run a business. A family? That¡¯s fine. Are you a citizen or voter?¡±


    Allison had been surprised by a lot of things so far that day but that question surprised her the most. ¡°A citizen, of course.¡±


    ¡°Not necessarily,¡± Jenny said. ¡°It doesn¡¯t always work that way. I presume if you¡¯re here Des told you the story with laws.¡±


    ¡°That they¡¯re not as strict as is made out? I kind of figured that out myself.¡±


    Jenny laughed. It was a youthful laugh. ¡°How?¡±


    ¡°Well, partly it was the smoke I had with Des. I lit it up in his apartment without checking if it was allowed. It just made sense. Then I thought ¡ª which I¡¯m sure was partly the effect of the tobacco ¡ª if I¡¯m allowed to do this there¡¯s a lot more going on than there appears to be.¡±


    Jenny¡¯s smile grew wide. ¡°You¡¯re on the accelerated path. I can understand why, given the ruling today. How did One find you?¡±


    ¡°I slept in a workshop of his. I guess it¡¯s a workshop; the equipment... I''d left a party because I don¡¯t like sleeping near them but was too far from where I was staying at the time. Which was last night, I suppose. Today seems like... I don¡¯t know... Anyway... I guess I knew I was breaking some laws, and it seems everyone is, and no-one really gets in trouble. Not if they don¡¯t talk about it all over the place. Which is why people don¡¯t know how flexible they are, I guess?¡±


    Jenny rubbed at her hands like they were hurting. ¡°The random bed, and I assume it was a single bed, in a lab, is a tough route to work, but if it pays off it pays off big. I¡¯m happy for him. Now these friends of yours, they¡¯re OK to smoke what you smoked with Des?¡±


    ¡°I think so,¡± Allison said.


    ¡°Good! They can have their first smoke here, which I think is a first for this place, and you can smoke something of mine,¡± Jenny said, as she was pulling a number of ashtrays out from beneath the bar. ¡°And I¡¯ll put these behind here.¡± She took the six packs of beer off the counter and rested them on the shelf behind her. ¡°Did One tell you you could share your smokes with them?¡±


    Allison nodded. ¡°What he gave me, yeah. And what¡¯d I¡¯d smoked with clients.¡± Although she felt there was something strange to this, from the simple fact Jenny had asked her the question, yet another question about smoking with Angie and Adam.


    ¡°Extremely accelerated path... Anyway, this looks like them,¡± Jenny said, nodding towards Allison¡¯s friends, who were walking in, looking confused until they spotted Allison.


    They approached her cautiously.


    ¡°Sit up on the seats, Angie, Adam. I¡¯m Jenny. You¡¯re going to have your first smoke.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re in safe hands, really. I promise,¡± Allison said, feeling fairly sure that was correct.


    Angie and Adam sat themselves up on the seats at either side of Allison and leant up against the counter. ¡°Am I going to turn into a plant?¡± Adam asked. Allison could smell alcohol on his breath.


    ¡°You two have been drinking?¡± Allison said. ¡°Not too much?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s been worrying his pants off, I even offered him a handjob if it¡¯d calm him down,¡± Angie said.


    ¡°I can give you a handjob if you¡¯d prefer, Adam,¡± Allison said. At this point she genuinely didn¡¯t care. She was too tired to care, and it¡¯d be just like what she did to herself anyway. What did it matter if it was someone else¡¯s penis? Then she thought of Robert, very quickly, for the briefest of moments.


    Adam sat straight back in his seat. ¡°It¡¯s highly unlikely you¡¯ll turn into a plant. Don¡¯t worry,¡± Jenny said.


    ¡°Allison turned into a woman!¡± Adam said. ¡°Handjobs? Fucking hell...¡± He shook his head.


    ¡°What she had was so much more powerful than what you¡¯ll be having. It¡¯s not a concern. You don¡¯t have to be a woman unless you want to be,¡± Jenny said.


    ¡°What!?¡± Adam said. ¡°It¡¯s possible I¡ª¡± but he was cut off by Allison patting him on his thigh. For some reason he put his hand down on top of hers, then she turned hers over and held his. He seemed to begin to breathe a little easier.


    Jenny took two of the beer bottles Allison had brought and put them in the quick chiller, dialling in a temperature, then readied four glasses, putting one out in front of each of them. After that it was just a case of dividing one of the chilled bottles up between the four of them, and topping up the glasses a little, but not to full, with the second. The liquid was black, with a thin, brownish-tinged, white foam head. Not a thick, very creamed head like on the beer Allison had earlier with Des. There were thin, beer-head bubbles of various sizes in it.


    Adam squeezed Allison¡¯s hand. ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Beer,¡± Jenny said. ¡°You¡¯ve never had one like this. And not one this strong. You¡¯ll probably enjoy it.¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t this¡ª¡±


    ¡°Who cares?¡± Allison said, knowing he was about to say ¡®illegal for women.¡¯


    Angie bumped her shoulder against Allison¡¯s. ¡°Good woman,¡± she said.


    ¡°Go on,¡± Allison said to Adam. He glared at her but reached out and picked up the glass, then took a small taste. ¡°Are you a plant now?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not bad,¡± Adam said.


    ¡°It¡¯s really good for women, too. Almost medicine for us. Helps our bodies be, well... To grow properly.¡± Jenny said, and she smiled at Allison and Angie.


    ¡°WHAT THE FUCK!?!¡± Adam¡¯s eyes nearly popped out of his head.


    ¡°Well, the weaker version, typically. I think Allison probably had some. A little bit of it anyway, in its regular form. It has some nutritional value to it that can be of benefit to a lot of women. When I was your age men used to offer it to us on that basis. It¡¯s true as far as I know, according to some doctors and the chefs I¡¯ve talked to. But none of the men I knew who drank it turned into women. So you¡¯re fine. It¡¯s not as trendy any more, I rarely have people order it...¡± Jenny said, sighing.


    Allison and Angie both picked up their glasses, and took a taste, while Jenny followed them.


    ¡°This is really nice. Thick. Like syrup, but not sickly. There¡¯s a bite, really good coffee-like, and some sweetness,¡± Angie said. Allison nodded.


    ¡°You ready for our smoke, Allison? Show these two not to be worried.¡± Jenny held out a rollie to Allison, that she took from a tin with a reddish label on it on the counter, along with a lighter. Taking it Allison lit the rollie and inhaled.


    ¡°How do you feel? What¡¯s that rollie like?¡± Jenny asked.


    Allison gave it a few seconds to come into its own, then said, ¡°Relaxed. Like before. There¡¯s some of what¡¯s in Angie and Adam¡¯s smokes, or what they will smoke, I assume, I think, in there...¡± Jenny nodded. ¡°And something else, I¡¯m not sure.¡±


    ¡°Taste your beer again,¡± Jenny said.


    Allison picked her beer up and tasted. It was amazing, so deep. ¡°Oh wow! That¡¯s... A lot! I don¡¯t have words for the tastes I¡¯m getting. There¡¯s so many of them... No... A few, but they¡¯re moving.¡±


    Jenny had pulled another tin from beneath the counter. She handed a rollie each to Angie and Adam along with lighters. ¡°Your turn. Just like in the movies,¡± she said.


    Both Angie and Adam held the rollies to their lips, with the element lighters before them. Allison didn¡¯t know which one of them to look at but her decision was made when she saw the smoke rise from Angie¡¯s rollie first.


    Angie slowly exhaled a plume of smoke as she closed her eyes and held them shut, and after a few moments said, ¡°Yeah...¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s it like, Angie?¡± Adam asked.


    Angie took another drag, eyes still closed, and repeated the process all over along with the same slow exhale. Then she took a deep breath through her nose. ¡°It¡¯s nice... I feel... Nice.¡± She opened her eyes and laid the rollie in the ashtray, then closed her eyes and took a deep inhale through her nose again.


    ¡°OK, wow,¡± Adam said, and, with an exaggerated certainty in his movement ¡ª an exaggeration that betrayed the real concern beneath his bravado ¡ª lit his rollie.


    Except Adam didn¡¯t exhale after a few seconds. He did close his eyes, and the hand that was just before his mouth fell and bounced off the bar. His chin dropped to his chest.


    Allison also held her breath until he finally exhaled, with no smoke coming out. Allison took the rollie that was about to fall from his fingers into her grip as Jenny laughed.


    ¡°That¡¯s sweet,¡± Jenny said. And she laughed again.


    Adam looked almost passed out, and Allison readied to catch him if he dropped.

 #0011 - New and Aggravating

    Allison resisted standing up out of her seat, to grab onto Adam, who was almost drooling after a single drag of his smoke; his first smoke, ever.


    ¡°Is he OK? Will he fall off the chair?¡± Allison asked.


    ¡°What do you think?¡± Jenny said.


    Allison looked at Adam. He was breathing slowly, but he wasn¡¯t wobbly, he wasn¡¯t even really slumped in the chair. He just looked relaxed, so incredibly relaxed. His breaths were patient and rhythmic.


    ¡°Are you up to date on your first aid, Sue?¡± Jenny called out.


    ¡°He¡¯s more likely to be dancing. Soon, anyway. Not needing the recovery position,¡± Sue said, smiling. ¡°We¡¯ve seen a lot worse, Allison, don¡¯t worry.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, he just looks really relaxed,¡± Allison said, looking at Adam. ¡°But I¡¯m glad I didn¡¯t do this with them on my own. Thank you, Jenny. And you, Sue!¡±


    ¡°First time always hits hard,¡± Sue said.


    ¡°Now taste some of Adam¡¯s smoke,¡± Jenny said. She inclined her head towards the smouldering rollie of Adam¡¯s Allison held.


    Allison took a drag of it. She tasted something more to it than before, but she wasn¡¯t quite sure what it was, so she took a drag of the rollie Jenny had given her, the one that made the beer more complex. When she dragged on Adam¡¯s rollie again, she realised something, instantly.


    She placed Adam¡¯s rollie in the ashtray in front of him, where he could get it if he wanted. She looked up at Jenny. ¡°Those... What Angie and Adam are smoking... Those are the same as the brown rollie One gave me. Earlier. When I knew... When I realised who I am. Not as strong, though. Not near as strong, but the same. And they''re all the same as with Des, they¡¯re all weaker versions of the brown smoke.¡±


    ¡°These are the base of everything we do, you do. It¡¯s foundational. The original modern form of tobacco once we made it not-dangerous, except sometimes to the psyche. One gave you another smoke before he gave you the brown one?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, it cleared my head. It was fuzzy from a hangover, I think,¡± Allison said.


    ¡°It can clear your head, some people will have no reaction, some people will get agitated. Lots of things can happen, but it is extremely safe. It¡¯s typically the first rollie you give to anyone you¡¯re not certain has smoked before so you can gauge from their reaction what they¡¯re capable of handling. You¡¯ll learn how to judge it.¡±


    Allison took a drink of the dark beer on the counter as Jenny did so too. ¡°So I should really have given what One gave me first to Adam and Angie,¡± Allison said. ¡°Why didn¡¯t One tell me?¡±


    ¡°How many brown rollies did you smoke, do you know?¡± Jenny asked, eyebrow raised a little, or maybe it was just a squint in one eye.


    ¡°Just the one, I think. One said it was one of the easiest whatever-he-was-doing he¡¯s done.¡±


    Jenny shrugged. ¡°If it was easy he probably sees a lot in you, he wants to throw you in at the deep end. See how you cope, what questions you ask. What you learn. I might have done the same. I have done it with a few people. Sometimes it¡¯s a success, sometimes there¡¯s setbacks. It doesn¡¯t matter. People try their best, and if something happens someone more senior ¡ª or many someones ¡ª will step in and recover things. No-one has ever had life altering issues for as long as anyone has been talking to me about this.¡±


    Allison laughed at the lack of life altering issues. ¡°Yeah,¡± she said, dismissively. ¡°No-one¡¯s had their life changed. Not in a serious, never-heard-of-before way.¡±


    Jenny shook her head and smiled a smile that revealed a vibrancy to her Allison hadn¡¯t noticed before. It wasn¡¯t the playfulness she¡¯d had with Adam, it was something else.


    ¡°You would have been fine with these two. But I can definitely see you causing trouble. Maybe not for yourself, but a headache for others. Some of the numbers...¡± Jenny said. ¡°Personally I can¡¯t wait. The new generation is far too cocky.¡±


    Allison looked at Adam whose eyes were half closed. He had taken the smoke back from the ashtray Allison had placed it back into, held the rollie to his lips and was taking drags but it wasn¡¯t lit.


    Allison picked up the lighter and held it to the tip until it glowed again with Adam¡¯s inhale. Then she took the rollie from his fingers and set it back into the ashtray.


    She turned to Angie, who was happily drinking her beer, the rollie in her ashtray half gone but also extinguished from lack of smoking. ¡°How are you doing, Angie?¡± Allison asked.


    ¡°Good, yeah. Thanks. That smoke was nice. I¡¯m so glad you are who you are. Who you really are! It makes so much sense. I should have figured it out.¡± Allison smiled and for some reason Angie was smiling serenely. Allison figured it must be the tobacco, then Angie took another drink from her glass. ¡°This beer is amazing,¡± she said.


    Allison looked at the tin her own smoke had come from, the red tin next to the green tin of Angie and Adam¡¯s relaxing smokes; Angie and Adam¡¯s the foundational tobacco; the same tobacco as Des¡¯s tin. The red tin was the tobacco Allison¡¯s had that made the beer feel alive.


    Allison looked at Jenny.


    ¡°What do you think?¡± Jenny responded, understanding the question on Allison¡¯s face.


    ¡°Yes... It would be good,¡± Allison said. ¡°Can I?¡± Jenny shrugged. Allison opened the red tin and took out a rollie. She held it out to Angie. ¡°Try this one, Angie¡± she said.


    Angie swallowed the beer in her mouth. ¡°I¡¯m OK, really. I¡¯ll take things slowly, for now. I prefer the beer, anyway,¡± Angie said. ¡°There are times I feel I could do with one of those smokes, but not right now.¡±


    Allison smiled. ¡°You¡¯ll really like this one, I promise. Will you try it? For me? If you don¡¯t want more after your first bit I¡¯ll smoke it.¡±


    ¡°OK. But I¡¯ll really like it? Really, really?¡± Angie said, looking doubtful. Allison nodded and Angie took it, held it to her lips and lit it. A few seconds later she looked quizzically at Allison. ¡°I don¡¯t feel anything. Not more than the first one.¡±


    ¡°OK. I got it wrong. I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯m new at this. Go back to your beer.¡±


    Angie consolingly rubbed Allison¡¯s shoulder as she took a sip of the beer. Angie froze. She took another sip, then a drag of the rollie she¡¯d just put down in the ashtray and another sip of the beer.


    Her head snapped around to Allison, with her eyes locked on Allison¡¯s eyes. ¡°You amazing bitch! Fuck me!! I love you!¡± She took another sip of her beer and tilted her head back as she held the gulp of the beer she now completely adored in her mouth, before washing it around every taste-bud she had, and some she didn¡¯t know she had. Angie would die happy if she drowned on the beer.


    Allison spotted Sue carrying what looked like two boards towards them. ¡°Ladies,¡± she said, placing two large platters filled with meats, cheeses, nuts, olives, pickles, breads, oils, and vinegars down in front of Angie and Allison.


    The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.


    ¡°This is the fucking best day of my life. This is better than sex! Fuck me!¡± Angie said, taking a deep breath. ¡°How am I this lucky? How do I know you, Allison?¡±


    ¡°How are you this lucky, Allison?¡± Sue asked. ¡°You get your first personal client, on your first day?¡±


    ¡°Personal client?¡± Allison asked.


    ¡°You discovered what Angie loves. She¡¯s your client. Taste is a common one but her reaction? It¡¯s a particularly strong one. There¡¯s no going back from this,¡± Sue said with a laugh. ¡°Luckily for her she¡¯s your support. She won¡¯t have to pay for the tobacco.¡±


    ¡°Did you know it¡¯d work like this?¡± Allison asked. ¡°You had the food ready to go.¡±


    ¡°The food would have happened anyway, and I had an idea she¡¯d smoke what you did. That you¡¯d see it in her. The way she described the beer when she tasted it was fun... No idea she¡¯d be so into taste though.¡± Sue shrugged. ¡°You did well. You have good friends. And you¡¯re going to have a lot of fun with him too.¡±


    Allison looked at Adam and saw him smiling, bouncing his head to himself. She kept watching a man in a seeming reverie where he picked up the rollie, only half smoked at this point, lit it with the lighter and took the smallest of drags, all while remaining smiling, with his eyes shut. Then he put both lighter and rollie back down.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Allison said, smiling too. ¡°They¡¯re good friends. How are you doing, Angie?¡±


    ¡°This is... I can¡¯t believe it,¡± she said, as she picked up an olive and bit into it before moaning in pleasure. ¡°Can you get me more of these smokes?¡±


    Jenny laughed. ¡°This is a present from us. From me and Sue,¡± Jenny said as she slid the red tin towards Angie, with a lighter on top. ¡°I think they¡¯ll be in tins labelled 1 in your bag, Allison. The ones you and Des smoked, the same as the ones your friends smoked first, are labelled 0. Colours can sometimes change. Brown smokes are brown though, always in ugly brown paper.¡±


    Angie was nibbling at cheese like a mouse when she stopped and rested her hand down. ¡°We can only smoke in Allison¡¯s apartment, and they don¡¯t really allow food out of the mess halls, certainly not to apartments. I¡¯m not sure how often I need these?¡± She tapped her nail on the tin of rollies.


    ¡°Come back here any time you want. Any of you three, with each other or on your own. You can smoke here. If you want to eat some food here we can arrange more than the platters. It¡¯s a privilege of being a smoker, which you are now. It costs credits, quite a few, and you might not want to spend them. You have plans to open a business when you¡¯re old enough?¡± Jenny asked.


    ¡°I¡¯m always thinking,¡± Angie said. ¡°No firm plans.¡±


    ¡°Saving credits is important, you might get a plan for something. Does Allison understand that given her ¡®new-ness?¡¯¡± Sue asked.


    ¡°I dunno,¡± Angie said. Then she turned to Allison. ¡°There are ways to get most of anything as a woman. Not some stuff like taking food to your apartment if it¡¯s an official, registered apartment, on an official floor. That¡¯s for parties on unsecured floors, but you know that... But most women want to own a business or do something ¡®bigger¡¯ when they¡¯re old enough, so we save. Men are stupid enough to pay for anything you want. If you give a little in return.¡± Angie laughed, and so did Jenny and Sue.


    ¡°Yeah... Socially acceptable prostitution,¡± Allison said, rolling her eyes.


    ¡°A little, yes... If men stopped offering women would eventually get horny enough to have sex just because. We do want sex, most of us,¡± Angie said, then laughed again. ¡°They¡¯re not that smart, though.¡± Then she was laughing so much her shoulders were going up-and-down, repeatedly. Sue and Jenny were grinning.


    Allison shook her head. ¡°This is all bullshit,¡± she said. ¡°I don¡¯t know why things are like this!¡±


    ¡°Have you told her about libraries?¡± Jenny asked.


    ¡°Yeah, there are libraries. Filled with fiction like from when we were in school. Much, much better fiction though. I¡¯ll take you to one. You¡¯ll like it,¡± Angie said.


    ¡°Is this another ¡®women only¡¯ thing?¡± Allison asked.


    Sue shook her head, now back behind the bar. ¡°No. If you know a man who says he¡¯d love to read fiction again, like in school, invite him to one. There¡¯s a few male members of libraries, especially older men.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s the catch? There¡¯s always a fucking catch, I¡¯m finding!¡± Allison said.


    Jenny laughed, then Angie said, ¡°There¡¯s junior and senior libraries. Junior libraries you just join. To get into senior libraries you have to write something they think is worthy. I¡¯m a senior member in a few branches.¡±


    ¡°Did you check out this level¡¯s library, Angie?¡± Sue asked.


    Angie took her smoke away from her mouth, and said, ¡°Philosophy? According to my conn... I¡¯m not sure what that is. I have vague memories from school, but that wasn¡¯t fiction.¡± As she spoke smoke came out of her mouth and once she stopped speaking she took a quick sip of her beer, then stuffed a thin slice of salami in her gob, relishing it.


    ¡°Just ideas about how the world works, how societies work, what makes people who they are, and what people are. You and Allison should check it out, especially you Allison. And get her to join a general library, Angie. I think she¡¯ll like fiction,¡± Jenny said.


    ¡°Because I¡¯m a woman?¡± Allison asked, starting to get annoyed.


    Sue sighed and looked annoyed as well, at Allison, but Jenny didn¡¯t look any different. She simply said, ¡°When you described your smoke with Des you said you thought of it as like sitting in front of a fire, drinking mulled wine in a cold climate. That¡¯s a rather writerly turn of phrase. It¡¯s certainly not sterile and dry.¡±


    Allison guffawed. ¡°Sterile and dry? Yeah? Like the encyclopedia I don¡¯t have access to?¡±


    Angie laughed. ¡°We have most of that; not completely up to date. There¡¯s a lot of rubbish in it, especially about women. Written by men, I¡¯d guess.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m so sick of this!¡± Allison said. ¡°Why is there all this ¡®hiding things?¡¯¡±


    Sue was no longer looking annoyed. ¡°Join the philosophy library, you might find some answers to that,¡± she said.


    Allison shrugged and reached for one of the 0 smokes, the foundational smokes. The calming smokes. ¡°Yeah, less obfuscation but instead more work to find out things.¡± She lit the smoke and inhaled. It didn¡¯t do a huge amount of good, but some.


    Jenny had poured a beer from one of the taps nearby and placed it in front of Allison. A regular beer like Allison would have bought before, when she was a man, when she didn¡¯t have to uncover secrets to achieve things.


    ¡°Did you think life would be easy?¡± Jenny asked. ¡°It can be if you want. It is for many people.¡±


    Allison took a drag from the smoke. A drag which helped more than the first one, then took a sip of the beer. ¡°No. I don¡¯t want that. It¡¯s just so new, and aggravating.¡±


    Everyone nodded, and Allison accepted it. It was all new. Then Adam spoke up, interrupting the quietness of people contemplating ''the new and aggravating'' to say, ¡°Thank you so much, Allison. That was amazing. Just wow! I feel so great. I love you to bits, really.¡± Allison looked at him and he was nodding to himself. Sure of something. Allison thought he looked sure of himself; certain within himself.


    ¡°You can live an easy life if you want,¡± Jenny said. ¡°There¡¯s no shame in that. If it makes you happy that¡¯s all that matters.¡±


    Allison nodded at Jenny, then turned to Adam. ¡°Drink your beer and eat some food, Adam. And thank you, I know you love me.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, no problem,¡± Adam said. ¡°The food looks great.¡± He reached for the platter Allison had slid to him and began to dig in.


    Sue placed three chocolate bars down in front of each of them. ¡°When you want to try the tasting smokes again, the 1s. Another day. Try the chocolate beforehand, especially you, Angie, then have a smoke and eat a little bit more of the chocolate. And please come back to me at some point and tell me what the food you have tomorrow was like, don¡¯t smoke your smokes tomorrow, really, believe me on that. I have to get back to work, it¡¯s finally starting to pick up.¡±


    Allison rotated one of the chocolate bars around to her. ¡®Indulgence ¨C Approved for Apartments.¡¯


    Allison looked around and the bar was a little more filled, people were smoking, but now they saw Sue was ready to serve, and not be dealing with three new customers, one or two were standing to approach the bar for drinks.


    ¡°Why was it so quiet? It¡¯s a Saturday night. Isn¡¯t that the busiest time for bars? Do older people smoke and drink later at night?¡± Allison said.


    ¡°Oh! You¡¯ll like this!¡± Angie said.


    Jenny laughed and shook her head. ¡°Don¡¯t tell her, let me... I think this is what¡¯s keeping people occupied.¡± Jenny pulled her conn out of her pocket. She showed it to the three of them and there was what appeared to be a movie on it, but it was short, and it repeated when you clicked on it. None of them had seen that on a conn, ever. Allison, especially, hadn¡¯t seen what it was showing.


    It featured a few clips ¡ª probably from security cameras ¡ª of women getting piggyback rides from men, their arms wrapped around the man¡¯s neck, their unworn shoes held by their hands, dangling against the man¡¯s chest.


    Every few seconds a man, with a woman on his back, would hop, and dart ahead. A few were even twirling. They all looked like they were having the best of fun. There were people, of all ages, standing outside bars, with drinks, smiling, and occasionally cheering as they watched.


    ¡°That¡¯s your doing,¡± Angie said to Allison.


    ¡°Biggest trend the station has seen in a while,¡± Jenny said, smiling. ¡°Next weekend the doctors and carers will be working overtime with the injuries. If they''re not already busy tomorrow with back strains. The age of some of those people! Lots of days off work, unwell...¡± Jenny laughed.


    Allison groaned and said, ¡°It was all Robert.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s a point!¡± Angie said, with glee. ¡°What do you think of Robert? Did you tell me what you two got up to in that room? Probably not considering I¡¯d remember if you did, I hope. Today has been weird. Come on, tell all!¡±


    Then they all talked, and chatted, and drank beers. Adam even seemed more easy-going. When the platters were gone they were ready to leave, accepting it had been a long, long day. Jenny said she¡¯d store Allison¡¯s beers in the bar, and told Allison she had eight left to drink; this despite Des¡¯s instructions one of the six packs was for Jenny. Jenny only wanted two beers. The rest waited for Allison, with her name on them.


    On the way to Allison¡¯s apartment, while Angie insisted that Doctor Grace¡¯s instructions to watch Allison for the next day or two meant both of them sleeping in the double bed in Allison''s spare room ¡ª a double bed a rare privilege usually for older women actively seeking pregnancy ¡ª Adam gave Angie her first piggyback ride. Then Allison agreed that Angie, having a steed, was a powerful knight and she couldn¡¯t argue with the logic that she needed to be watched overnight by a respected and knowledgable noble.


    Which was the end of everything, with everyone quickly tucked into bed. Adam asleep within seconds of arriving back to his own apartment.


    Except Allison kept waking during the night, or at least coming half awake, pain growing. Her moans and groans eventually rousing Angie, early in the morning.


    Moans and groans, and turning, and sweating that had Angie extremely worried.

 #0012 - Bones and Baths

    After an hour of observing the restless Allison Angie messaged Dr. Grace, seeing how much pain Allison was in, and how much sweating she was doing.


    Dr. Grace said to leave Allison sleep as long as she could and if she made it to late morning still asleep to rouse her then. Then to ask Allison some medical questions and get back to her if concerned.


    Angie dragged a chair from the living room into the bedroom. She sat watching her newly found friend.


    And Angie worried.


    ***


    Angie had left Allison¡¯s apartment on the secure floor and been back to her own apartment to get dressed in fresh clothes, and to shower. She¡¯d also picked up some medications in case Allison needed them. She had bottles of water, one of the few things allowed in legitimately provided apartments, for the buckets Allison had sweated out. She hoped it was simply a hangover but was equally was certain it wasn¡¯t. She knew it was worse. And she feared something disastrous for the woman Allison wanted to be.


    After hours of pacing, sitting, examining the clothes Allison inherited, hunting for more, finding the bathroom had actual water in the shower as well as a bath ¡ª albeit a bath with no water ¡ª sitting again, and standing again, and repeating that forty, fifty, sixty times, and trying to read, and slowly sipping water it reached late enough in the morning it was time to wake the new woman in pain. It was Dr. Grace¡¯s instructions and that¡¯s what Angie was there for.


    She held onto Allison¡¯s shoulder, through the tangle of the duvet around her, and shook her. Gently at first, then harder. Just as she was worried she wouldn¡¯t be able to wake Allison Allison let out a loud groan, with some mumbled words behind it.


    ¡°Come on, Allison,¡± Angie said. ¡°You need to wake. I need to check you. Are you OK?¡±


    Allison made another groan and this time muttered something on the borders of intelligible.


    ¡°Please, Allison. Wake up for me!¡± Angie said, a slight hint of desperation in her voice.


    Allison scrunched up her face and said, ¡°I feel awful.¡± At least she said it ¡®just-about.¡¯ Then she groaned again. ¡°Awful!¡± she said, slowly forcing herself upright, rubbing at her eyes then down her body, and placing her feet on the carpeted floor.


    Angie sat next to her and handed her a bottle of water.


    Allison opened it and drank it back as quickly as she could manage. ¡°It¡¯s not a hangover...¡± Allison said, feeling like she could cry, or wail.


    ¡°Explain it to me,¡± Angie said.


    Allison rubbed the inside of both wrists against her chest feeling some relief with the pressure. ¡°I need to message Dr. Grace,¡± she said.


    Angie stood and picked up Allison¡¯s conn, handing it over. Allison messaged Doctor Grace as much as she could. ¡°There¡¯s something wrong. The medicine you gave me... I need to talk to you.¡± Although she wasn¡¯t certain quite how she spelled everything. Then she tried to stand.


    Angie helped Allison to her feet and when Allison was fully standing Angie saw the navy, cotton nightdress Allison wore, with straps down, off her shoulders, was completely soaked through.


    ¡°You need to take that off. It¡¯s like you just got out of a pool.¡± Angie already had some towels on the floor and bent to pick them up, handing them to Allison, who tiredly, and with moans, let the nightdress drop off her. She began to dry herself.


    Angie immediately noticed the area around Allison¡¯s nipples was slightly puffy.


    Angie left Allison to dry, with some privacy, and took the double duvet off the bed, turning it over, hanging it over the side she¡¯d slept on and onto the floor to hopefully air out. Looking at the side Allison slept on the bed was verging on sodden.


    Allison¡¯s conn began to ring. Allison picked it up, answering, and heard Dr. Grace¡¯s voice fill the room. ¡°What¡¯s wrong, Allison?¡± she asked. ¡°Explain it to me.¡± There wasn¡¯t a hint of annoyance to her tone at such a sudden message from Allison, or at the need to miss out on another day of her weekend.


    ¡°The medication you gave me...¡± Allison said, as she reached for another bottle of water, opening it. ¡°It¡¯s the areas, you know, that you said. The main ones. It¡¯s not a little pain, it¡¯s a lot. A whole lot.¡±


    Allison took a drink from the fresh bottle of water.


    ¡°What about your bones?¡± Doctor Grace said. ¡°Any pain there?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Allison said. She let out another moan of pain.


    ¡°Think about it, really go over your body. Anywhere; legs, arms, chest, torso, toes, even fingers. Anywhere..? Is the main pain masking any pain in your bones?¡±


    Allison closed her eyes and held the towel to her chest, mentally cataloguing areas of her body, moving her arms a little as her mind swept across herself. ¡°No. I¡¯m fairly sure, but my chest really hurts, my breasts, I guess, but not my nipples. I don¡¯t know if I could feel pain in my sternum. There¡¯s none in ribs or anything like that, or anywhere not where you mentioned yesterday. Definitely, I¡¯m sure...¡±


    ¡°Have you taken any medication?¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s just had water,¡± Angie said. ¡°I have the two standard medications you said to get but I haven¡¯t given her any.¡±


    Allison turned to look at Angie, who was looking back at her. ¡°Sweating?¡± Dr. Grace asked.


    ¡°She won¡¯t be able to sleep in her bed tonight, not without a fresh duvet. The mattress won¡¯t dry. But it¡¯s a double, so one of us can sleep on the dry side the other can sleep in the single.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about that. I¡¯ll sort that,¡± Doctor Grace said. ¡°Allison, can you look at yourself in a mirror. Completely naked. Tell me if you see any difference.¡±


    Allison nodded her confirmation and walked with her conn to her single-bed bedroom.


    ¡°We¡¯re going to the room with the mirror,¡± Angie said, knowing Dr. Grace wouldn¡¯t have seen Allison¡¯s nod.


    Allison laid her conn down on the single bed and looked at her reflection. ¡°I don¡¯t know...¡±


    ¡°A good look, really look. Everywhere! It¡¯s important.¡±


    Allison slowly slid down her underwear and let it drop to the floor, seeing a male body in the mirror. Sure, it was a body with no hair apart from on her head, which was in a female style, along with her eyebrows, but it was undoubtedly a male body. It didn¡¯t reflect her experience of the day prior at all. Of how she felt about herself, seeing what she saw when she¡¯d smoked with One.


    Not only did she feel pain in that moment, but a pain that emphasised her hurt; an emotional hurt.


    ¡°I don¡¯t look right,¡± Allison said, wanting to curl up. ¡°My body is wrong. I don¡¯t want to look at it.¡±


    ¡°Angie?¡± Dr. Grace said.


    Angie looked over Allison¡¯s shoulder and into the mirror. ¡°I¡¯ve already noticed her nipples are a little puffy. A couple of months into puberty, maybe. Maybe a little longer? Her stomach is more feminine, the placement of fat. Her penis looks, well, sad. Like it¡¯s given up on life.¡±


    ¡°Good...¡± Allison said, lowly.


    ¡°What was that?¡± Dr. Grace asked, as Angie put her arm around Allison.


    ¡°That¡¯s all, Dr. Grace,¡± Angie said.


    ¡°Are you certain about the bones? And how do you feel about temperature? How¡¯s your sweating?¡±


    Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.


    ¡°Since I got out of bed it¡¯s been fine, since I dried off. My bones are really OK, I think. It¡¯s just elsewhere.¡±


    ¡°Give me a second...¡± Dr. Grace said.


    They all paused for a few moments while Angie pulled Allison tighter into her.


    ¡°OK. Angie, I¡¯ll message you about the pain, you watch her and keep me up to date. Explain the two medications after the shower. I¡¯ll send some other medicines to a pharmacy, for sleep for tonight, don¡¯t worry about that. Up to three of the freely available ones every two hours. I¡¯d prefer one of the special friends every four hours, three can be managed, maybe four if really needed but you can imagine what that¡¯d be like if you gave it to a teenager, Angie, can¡¯t you!¡±


    Dr. Grace was quite stern and exaggerated when she said that, and Angie laughed. Allison didn¡¯t know what the laugh was for, or why Dr. Grace laughed too.


    ¡°Let me do some calculations. Allison, have a shower, you¡¯ll feel better. I checked and I don¡¯t need to approve water. Lucky you! I¡¯ll call again in thirty minutes with what I figure out... Angie, three plus one right now, another plus one after the shower if necessary. As long as you need in the shower Allison! I¡¯ll call back if you¡¯re still in there.


    ¡°It¡¯s almost certainly what you¡¯re thinking. The medication is working possibly too well with you. It¡¯s not dangerous. Just painful, at least until the pain medications kick in. Take both. And the heat of the water will help.¡±


    ¡°OK...¡± Allison said. ¡°I have really nothing to worry about?¡±


    ¡°Message me if you get pains in your skeleton, anywhere,¡± Dr. Grace said. ¡°And enjoy your shower. Three plus one, Angie. You¡¯re fine Allison. Really¡± Then Dr. Grace ended the call.


    ¡°Do you I really look more feminine?¡± Allison asked.


    ¡°Yeah...¡± Angie said. ¡°It¡¯s why you¡¯re in so much pain. It shouldn¡¯t happen this fast, it seems. It was bad enough for me as a teen and I didn¡¯t even have it that difficult. Just the odd few days. Give me a second...¡±


    Angie stood and walked into the living room as Allison sat on the single bad and pulled the duvet around her front. Not so much to hide herself from Angie more to hide herself from herself.


    Angie was back in with another bottle of water and some medication dispensers. She clicked three pills out to Allison from one, a blue one, and another one from a red one. ¡°Take these. They¡¯ll help. Give it a few minutes then shower.¡±


    Allison swallowed back the medications, hoping they would help, then finished off the rest of her water. She began to rub her legs together, squashing her thighs into her groin, and rubbing her arms against her chest.


    ¡°If you need to massage yourself don¡¯t mind about me, I¡¯ll go to another room if you want privacy. And you¡¯ll be in the shower, soon. All by yourself.¡±


    Allison rubbed her wrists against what she figured she¡¯d have to start thinking of as breasts, as she said to Angie, ¡°It¡¯s OK. I saw you smoking, and Adam, I guess we¡¯re really all in this together. You and me, me and you... Us and Adam. What¡¯s the point of embarrassment with all this?¡±


    Angie rubbed Allison¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Yeah, we are all in on this. I¡¯ve never had a friend like you.¡±


    After a few minutes Allison was in the shower; for a long time; through one of Dr. Grace¡¯s calls, Allison assumed. Eventually ¡ª she knew ¡ª she had to get out.


    She was already dry, from the dryer in the shower, and Angie had readied a light robe for her, to cover Allison.


    ¡°How was it?¡± Angie asked.


    Allison looked a little panicked.


    ¡°Did you enjoy it?¡± Angie asked.


    Allison knew exactly what Angie was getting at.


    ¡°Are you in pain?¡±


    ¡°No...¡± Allison said, timidly.


    ¡°How many times?¡± Angie asked, laughing.


    Allison held three fingers up. Angie was throwing her head back in uproar.


    ¡°Without a break,¡± Allison whined. ¡°I could just keep going! I had to stop because I was exhausted!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not a twenty year old unleashed on the world, you¡¯re a teenager! We¡¯ll have to keep you away from men! FROM ONE LEG SPREADER! OH WOW!!¡± Angie shrieked.


    ¡°Leg spreader!?¡± Allison said, eyes nearly falling out of her head. ¡°What did you give to me? You and that doctor!!¡±


    Angie broke out laughing, again. ¡°Nothing you haven¡¯t had before. They just work slightly differently on women. Upsides and downsides.¡±


    ¡°How did you..?¡±


    Angie looked peaceful. ¡°They really are the same as before, the blue ones help with pain. The red ones intensify their effects, target them. They work in combination. The red ones, though, for women, can make you a little, well... Horny?¡± Angie laughed. ¡°You though! Three times!? Without interruption! From one! No wonder you spent so long in there! How was it?¡±


    ¡°I could do it all over again!¡± Allison said, with a sigh. And some fear at herself. What she was suddenly capable of! ¡°If my arms weren¡¯t so tired!¡±


    ¡°Most women just take one if they want to enjoy a few hours of perving at men when they¡¯re bored. Three times!?! I¡¯ll have to stay close to you! It¡¯s so good you can¡¯t get pregnant! Three times!!!¡±


    Allison¡¯s conn began to ring. Angie still kept laughing all while Allison answered.


    ¡°Is Angie laughing for a reason, Allison?¡±


    ¡°You know full well why,¡± Allison said, grumpily.


    ¡°Did you enjoy it? Do you feel better?¡± Dr. Grace asked.


    ¡°Yes, and yes,¡± Allison said, feeling small.


    ¡°Were you erect?¡± Dr. Grace asked.


    ¡°Sort of, but not completely.¡±


    ¡°Fluids?¡±


    ¡°A little... With the first one...¡± Allison said.


    ¡°How many times?¡± Dr Grace asked, fully forcing every bit of embarrassment out of Allison.


    ¡°Is all this relevant?¡± Allison snapped.


    ¡°Yes, it is! I¡¯m not trying to make you feel ashamed. Worse is to come, Angie can tell you what I¡¯ve had to do with her.¡±


    ¡°Three times...¡± Allison said, cringing. ¡°Without stopping.¡±


    Dr. Grace let out a ¡®hmm¡¯ and said, ¡°That¡¯s about what I expected, at least according to the records. As you might have figured out your feminising injection is working quite quickly. As long as the medication for your bone structure doesn¡¯t cause pain you¡¯ll be fine. I¡¯ll make an appointment for you for Thursday, to see me. The pain should have significantly reduced from its peak then.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean from ¡®its peak?¡¯¡± Allison asked, knowing, now, this wasn¡¯t the worst of it.


    ¡°Tomorrow will probably be worse, at least when you wake. If you feel little pain now, after the medication then three plus two should work, or three plus three, tomorrow. Angie, watch her tomorrow as well. You¡¯re with her for another week.


    ¡°I saw your apartment has a bath, which makes sense for the floor it¡¯s on, but I¡¯m having difficulty approving water for it. It¡¯ll help more than a shower when you need it most. I have my supervisor working on it. He says it¡¯ll be approved by this evening, it¡¯s just paperwork. Is it a big bath?¡±


    ¡°Friend sized,¡± Angie said, excitedly.


    ¡°What?¡± Allison asked.


    ¡°For fun with friends, usually male friends, but if Dr. Grace doesn¡¯t object I have a bathing suit. Unless you want to take some leg spreaders and get frisky with me, Allison. I¡¯ve never tried it with a woman in a bath,¡± Angie said, making squeezing motions at Allison.


    Dr. Grace laughed. ¡°I assume you¡¯ve discovered massage helps with the pain. I¡¯m not advising against it, at least medically, anyone¡¯s hands are as good as your own. So yes, if it has bubbles even better, get some candles. Hop in the tub with Angie. Neither of you can get pregnant, and neither of you can make anyone pregnant. I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re getting me talking about this, Angie, you¡¯re unbelievable.¡±


    ¡°Could we get a bottle¡ª¡± Angie began, but was quickly cut off by Dr. Grace.


    ¡°Will you stop doing that? I¡¯m the doctor! If you walk, and I will check tomorrow, I¡¯ll approve a bottle of wine for the apartment for the evening. You have to walk, regularly, it¡¯ll help. Especially because I¡¯m giving you full dining privileges, both of you. Use them, and walk. Don¡¯t spend the day in bars and restaurants ogling people or having fun. It¡¯s medically necessary for Allison to eat well and I need you watching her, Angie. And making sure she does everything she¡¯s supposed to...¡±


    Allison was confused by this. She¡¯d never heard of ¡®full dining privileges.¡¯ ¡°What does that mean?¡± she asked Dr. Grace. ¡°Dining privileges?¡±


    ¡°You can eat and drink like a man, no need to convince anyone to buy you anything. You could spend the entire day going from place to place having whatever full meal you wanted, if you wanted. You¡¯re not just limited to the standard dining hall allowances, for now. Don¡¯t go crazy but do eat, whatever you can manage. You need the energy, Allison! You¡¯ll be burning through it, and I¡¯d imagine if you don¡¯t eat in the next ninety minutes or so you¡¯ll begin to feel serious pain again, rather than in about three hours. Your body is changing, for good, and needs energy.


    ¡°Angie doesn¡¯t need the food, but I¡¯m not going to force her to watch you dining out, am I?¡±


    Angie snort-laughed. ¡°This is why you¡¯re the best, Dr. Grace!¡±


    Allison sat down on the bed, crossing her legs, with one slipping out from between her belted robe. ¡°So what do I have to do? Exactly.¡±


    ¡°Eat, rest, walk. That¡¯s all you have to do until you see me on Thursday. Angie can fill you in better on how to fill your day doing that. The pain will be worse tomorrow, three plus two. Three every two hours and two ¡®pluses¡¯ every four hours, if needed. By tomorrow evening ¡ª I¡¯d imagine ¡ª you¡¯ll be smaller in some areas and larger in others. Tuesday morning at the latest. You¡¯ll not have erections any more but I don¡¯t think you¡¯ll mind. I¡¯ll send you some toys, eventually, when you¡¯re settled. They¡¯re waterproof... All this is reversible, if you really come to hate it. I don¡¯t think you will. Allow yourself to enjoy this, it¡¯s special.¡±


    Angie wasn¡¯t laughing at any of this, simply rubbing Allison¡¯s shoulder. ¡°I¡¯m taking her to a library today.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s a good place to rest, a good book might get your mind off things. Eat, walk, rest. Mix it all up. Reading a book is a good way to relax. You can drink, but don¡¯t go crazy. When I say rest the more relaxed you are about everything the better you¡¯ll do, at least mentally.


    ¡°You have nothing to worry about. The relaxed bit will help with being a teenager; a teenager hormonally and what it¡¯ll do to you mentally,¡± Dr. Grace said.


    ¡°Oh, no!¡± Angie said.


    ¡°Sorry, Angie. How were Allison¡¯s moods before yesterday? Before the court ruling, and all of what happened?¡±


    ¡°Better than most,¡± Angie said. ¡°Not crazy like a man. Which makes sense, now.¡±


    ¡°She could be fine then. Some deal with the mental aspect of puberty with few enough issues. And she¡¯s older, and maybe a little wiser..?¡±


    ¡°What about smoking, Dr. Grace?¡± Allison asked.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t know citizens could smoke,¡± Dr. Grace said. ¡°Cigars or cigarettes?¡±


    ¡°Yeah...¡± Allison said, realising she might not be allowed to reveal what she did with tobacco to Dr. Grace. ¡°Both, either? It¡¯s not well known but there are a few places. I guess it¡¯s part of everything since yesterday.¡±


    ¡°OK... It shouldn¡¯t be an issue. Tobacco hasn¡¯t been an issue in a long, long time. Certainly in nothing I¡¯ve read about it. Just eat, walk, rest, and relax. Get shoes for walking if you have to, please don¡¯t break an ankle.¡±


    ¡°We know just the store, Dr. Grace! And with Allison discovering some new things about herself with the spreaders it¡¯ll be easy to convince a man to buy her something. Especially on that level.¡±


    ¡°Fuck off!¡± Allison said, her mind somehow snapping onto her legs being wrapped around Robert.


    ¡°OK, you¡¯re back to normal then... As normal as can be. Angie, keep me updated. Allison, walk, rest, eat. Please! And eat first. Within the next hour and a half. Whatever you feel like. And if your bones begin to hurt you message! Straight away. Please listen; if your bones begin to hurt you immediately message me! I will decide what happens then.¡± And with that final warning another talk with Doctor Grace was over.

 #0013 - Breaths and Burgers

    Allison found herself lying back on the single bed, simply breathing, as she heard Angie leave after Dr. Grace assured Allison everything would be OK. It¡¯d just be painful, for now.


    She finally had some peace as she counted inhale and exhale, then just let herself feel the breaths. It was almost like she¡¯d had one of the calming smokes. Or maybe it was that her pain had left her; the medication working. Probably it was being told she was fine, and not dying. Or that all this wouldn¡¯t have to stop...


    Then she thought about the pain, and where it was focused.


    As she did she thought of Robert.


    She quickly stopped thinking about Robert realising the effect it was having on her. She tried to think of less handsome, friendly, extremely fucking hot and sexy things she wanted.


    For some reason her mind went to Adam, who was just goofy.


    She laughed; a small, low chuckle, just for herself. He really was a weirdo and she realised that was why she liked him. Why she¡¯d always liked him. He¡¯d give her crap when she¡¯d do the weird stuff as Patryk, the whole treating women like people thing, but it wasn¡¯t actually a big deal. It wasn¡¯t aggro. It was just, Allison thought on it, it was teasing, really. Other guys thought Patryk was a fuck up. Adam accepted the weird Patryk and after a shock yesterday accepted her as new Allison. Then when she saw him smoking she saw how pure he was. How willing he was to embrace things.


    Allison sat up in the bed again, thoughts of a sexy Robert far from her mind, and picked up her conn. Where there was actually a message from Robert. ¡°You¡¯ll never believe what happened to me. I¡¯ll meet you later today. You will want to hear this! It has to be because of you. There¡¯s no other explanation!¡±


    She shook her head, having no idea what he was talking about but she knew he wanted to go for a walk with her. He told her that yesterday. To see if she could manage stairs in her new heels. Which she thought about. She wanted to look nice for him.


    ¡°Angie... What do I wear today? I¡¯ve never...¡±


    ¡°Already picked out for you, sexy!¡± Angie called back.


    Allison stood and went into her dressing room, wondering how bad the pain would be as she moved about; as clothes pressed on her pained body as she moved about.


    A pair of what looked like men¡¯s work dungarees but as a dress that¡¯d come to the top of her knees was hanging up, along with a white skin tight, long sleeved top. There were also a few bras laid out, in various styles and colours. They were the same size as the pair One had found for her so Allison figured the access she¡¯d granted to Angie for her apartment allowed her to go scavenging in the other apartments. Then she realised how early she must have woken Angie. She had vague memories of rolling around and groaning while half awake. Dreams she couldn¡¯t quite clutch onto... Angie could have spent hours worrying about her!


    Allison got dressed, again chasing thoughts of what she¡¯d do to Robert out of her mind as she put on her lingerie. Not that she wanted to chase the thoughts from her mind, or him, she had to. She couldn¡¯t spend every moment of her life lusting after him. If that¡¯s what it was. She wasn¡¯t sure on what the feelings were. Again she forced those thoughts from her mind.


    Then she was dressed, fully, and walking into the double bedroom where Angie was stripping the bed. ¡°Maybe it¡¯ll dry out faster?¡± Angie said.


    ¡°We¡¯ll figure something out,¡± Allison said. She put on her shoes, and felt good now she was back to a mostly female appearance, the pain still there, just about, but it was more a reminder that everything she was going through had a purpose. Making her who she was supposed to be. And her bones definitely didn¡¯t hurt. ¡°How do I look?¡±


    ¡°A button!¡± Angie said. Allison didn¡¯t know what Angie was saying. ¡°¡®As cute as,¡¯ you doofus!¡±


    ¡°Oh! Thank you! Not sure I believe you, though.¡±


    ¡°Believe what you want!¡±


    Allison sat down on the chair Angie had dragged into the room while she slept and sipped at another bottle of water. She knew she had to tell One she couldn¡¯t, or shouldn¡¯t, work for the next few days. And that she had a medical question about the tobacco she was smoking. And that she¡¯d already, sort of, let tobacco slip to someone. She had the message typed up and sent.


    Stolen novel; please report.


    Angie had the cover off the duvet, and the sheets off the bed, just as the hilarious sound of One¡¯s call was coming to Allison¡¯s conn. It was a public call, again. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about anything,¡± One said, as soon as Allison answered.


    ¡°Angie is here with me, she can hear you.¡±


    ¡°Hello, Angie! How was your smoke?¡±


    ¡°I liked the second one more, One. It¡¯s weird hearing your voice. I thought you¡¯d be really mysterious or something.¡±


    ¡°How do I sound?¡± One asked.


    ¡°Normal. Cheerful,¡± Angie said.


    ¡°Thank you, Angie. So do you. You preferred the tasting smoke? Have you had anything to eat or drink today?¡±


    ¡°Just water. It tastes kind of boring, more than usual. I am hungry though¡±


    ¡°Have some chilled water when you can, before eating, you might get something more from it. No ice if possible, cold from a chiller, in a glass bottle. The bottle gently, and patiently, poured into a glass would be best. No straw. Let Allison know when your taste returns to normal, if you don¡¯t mind.


    ¡°Allison, the smokes will have no physical effect whatsoever, don¡¯t worry about that. You know what they do mentally. That¡¯s why you¡¯re working for me. You¡¯re capable. Now who did you tell about them?¡±


    ¡°My doctor... But it wasn¡¯t quite these smokes, she said cigarettes and cigars, like in movies, I think? Surprised citizens could smoke them.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s her name?¡±


    ¡°Doctor Grace. I can send her ID to you via message if you want?¡± Allison said, preparing to forward Dr. Grace¡¯s details to One.


    ¡°Perfect. Is there something wrong with you? You said you can¡¯t work for a few days.¡± Allison only heard concern in his voice.


    ¡°Is that an issue?¡± she asked.


    ¡°No. Health comes before even our work, but health is often dependent on our work, to a degree. And that¡¯s dependent on happiness, which operates along with health. Jenny told you about the philosophy section in the library... Something to look into. What¡¯s wrong with you, if you can share? If you want to?¡±


    Allison took a deep breath. It was like he was her father; a father to someone in their twenties; someone who no longer should be in need of any fathers. ¡°The medication to help with what I realised with you, about me, it¡¯s working faster than the doctor expected. It could be painful. Well... It is already.¡±


    One laughed. ¡°You¡¯ll love it. You¡¯ll be who you¡¯re supposed to be faster. Remember the first smoke you had with me, the very first?¡±


    ¡°The test one?¡± Allison asked.


    ¡°Zero-zeroes. Like the 0 smoke but a little bit of a devolution, just the advancements of the 0 smoke applied retroactively. That¡¯s the closest we have to the original, lethal tobacco. The 0s are the first modern smoke, the closest in lineage to the old stuff.


    ¡°The zero-zeroes are a little more powerful than what they had back then but with the dangers removed. It¡¯s like a heightened experience of it. It¡¯s similar to what voters smoke, although they¡¯re smoking more for flavour. We smoke it to see how people react. Your reaction was among the best. It cleared your mind of a hangover, and some other things. It means you react well to tobacco, particularly well. Your mind is primed for it.¡±


    Allison was verging on zoning out by the time One finished his statement, then she realised she was rushing ahead of the things he was saying almost knowing them before he said them. At the least recognising them as he said them. ¡°That makes complete sense, One, but why say it?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll have some delivered to you. Try not to share that one, unless I tell you it¡¯s for a client. Angie can try it if she wants, she¡¯s already your personal client. Fastest personal client anyone¡¯s ever heard of, even if a little basic. Adam can have some too, but I don¡¯t think you¡¯ll find out much from him about it.


    ¡°Angie, tell Allison when your taste goes back to normal, please. Don¡¯t smoke any of the taste ones again before it goes back to normal. It¡¯s not dangerous but it¡¯ll be something Allison will learn from, which is why you¡¯ll have them for free, for life. And Allison, I¡¯m telling you about the zero-zeroes because they might work well with whatever you¡¯re taking for your pain. Try them if you feel like it, it won¡¯t hurt. I¡¯ll hold off on jobs until you¡¯re ready, OK?¡±


    ¡°Thanks One, that helps.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll have them delivered to you today. Take your time, and let me know when you¡¯re back. Message me when you want, about anything, I¡¯ll reply as soon as I¡¯m free, or awake from a nap. It¡¯s more important your realisations from the brown smoke are seen through than anything you do for me. Focus on that for as long as you need.¡±


    ¡°OK. I will,¡± Allison said. ¡°Thank you.¡± She meant the thanks a huge amount, and so much of it was she hadn¡¯t realised until then how grateful she was to One, for what he¡¯d done for her. For bringing out ¡®her.'' For bringing out the Allison she fully felt she was in that moment. And she felt cared for.


    One ended the call.


    ¡°I have no idea what he was saying,¡± Angie said. ¡°Although it all was explained with me listening I don¡¯t understand smoking enough. It¡¯s not... I don¡¯t know?¡±


    ¡°I guess that¡¯s why he picked me. I suppose,¡± Allison said. ¡°You¡¯ll find something, I¡¯m sure.¡± She took some more of the water and stood. ¡°We should eat, you must be starving.¡±


    Angie looked at Allison with an accusatory look. ¡°You did build up an appetite in me. Where do you want to go? We can eat anywhere with our dining passes!¡±


    ¡°No, you¡¯re the one who¡¯s hungry, really hungry, and you looked after me. I kept you waiting hours. You should pick.¡±


    Angie shook her head angrily. ¡°Your the idiot who¡¯s unwell! You¡¯re the idiot who needs to eat so what will you damn well eat?!¡±


    The response burst out of Allison¡¯s mouth; a desire that inflamed the instant Angie called her an idiot. ¡°A disgusting burger! That makes you hate yourself! Sickening! And you¡¯re tempted to go back for another. Your body craves it and your mind can barely hold your body back from getting a second!¡±


    Angie laughed. ¡°I know just the fucking place!¡±


    Allison laughed as well. And felt good; relieved, drained and in need of grease.


    ¡°Well that¡¯s fucking great then. A fucking burger!¡± Angie said.