《The Cycle》


 Beginning Cycle

    Walking, not able to catch his breath as he walked on the jagged grass path, a weight on his body made it difficult to continue walking. Only able to see the path under his feet, he continued this struggle and walked, pain with every step, as if he had been walking forever on this trail, leading to a light for which he could bask in again. As the path didn¡¯t end, his pain did neither, forgetting why he was there. With this feeling grew a more present feeling of something important that slipped his memory. The longer the path extended, the more unending it seemed. What was bugging him? He must have forgotten something¡ªsomething he needed, something¡­ It was probably nothing important. As the path continued, the pain in his chest continued to worsen. Knowing only one thing, he continued on the straight cobble path, not knowing wh¡­ Slowing his pace, he looked at the path he was on¡ªwasn''t it grass? His vision started to get fuzzy, pain striking him, his chest feeling like it was about to burst from the pressure coming from inside. Falling to the ground, he clutched his chest, pounding coming from within as he tried to breathe in and out, in and out. Why was he here, where was the pain coming from, what was the path he was following, and who was he? Those thoughts being glossed over as his chest and body continued to grow in pain, falling further to the ground, only able to just feel the pain growing and growing without stopping, only able to lay there. His body soon becomes numb with pain, his vision fades, and the path he followed seems to shift and change into the darkness as he closes his eyes. The feeling of darkness encloses on him the pain he was feeling in his chest starting to leave. All feeling seems gone, like he¡¯s floating in a sea of darkness, complete bliss with a mixture of discomfort like he lost something soon forgetting the thought as he embraces it. He hears something, a voice calling, what was it, can¡¯t it just leave him alone, but it persists until¡ªBEEP, BEEP, BEEP rising from his bed, eyes opening, a cold sweat drips down his body, his alarm continuing to beep giving him a headache. ¡°shut up,¡± he sighs, clicking a button on his alarm.


    Groaning he gets up out of his bed, his headache continuing to persist, going to his dresser he quickly puts on a red t-shirt and pants and moves to the door of his bedroom. Opening the door, he can smell breakfast being made downstairs being able to hear the crackle and pop of the bacon on the pan, ¡°Philip are you finally awake, come down quickly and have breakfast so you can be ready for the bus, you need to go soon.¡± he grabs his phone and heads down the stairs, getting closer and closer to the source of the smell, he walks into the kitchen, light from a window blinding him for a second making him squint, ¡°Hurry and eat breakfast you need to go soon, you can¡¯t be late for school.¡± School, the thought seeming worse than his still persistent headache. Though his summer break wasn¡¯t really any better, comprising staying inside and watching TV. Philip sits down to eat his breakfast, his mother sitting down with him, ¡°Your second year in high school, you excited to go back,¡± Philip thinking about a reply while eating his breakfast says, ¡°It will fill my time at least since the summer was kind of boring.¡± His mother, hoping for a better answer, decides not to pry and continues to eat her food, quickly finishing she gets up from the table and puts her dishes in the dishwasher, ¡°Today I won¡¯t be able to pick you up from school so you will have to take the bus,¡±, ¡°Ok,¡± he says in a monotone voice, looking around the doesn¡¯t see his dad anywhere, ¡°Mom where¡¯s dad,¡±, ¡°He¡¯s just asleep he has to get to work early today,¡± His dad has to work nights so this isn¡¯t anything surprising to him. Finishing his food he puts his plate in the dishwasher and starts moving to the door, grabbing his bag that was sitting on a hook near the front door, he grabs his brown winter coat, a large coat that was worn out in some parts but does its job of keeping him warm well, he goes to a window and looks outside. Snow can be seen covering the area, patches of green grass scattered randomly, going back he grabs his shoes and puts them on. A thought then strikes him, what was that dream, but as fast as the thought came to him he seemed to have already forgotten the contents of the dream only making him more curious about it. He stands up ready to leave, ¡°Bye mom, I¡¯m leaving now!¡±, ¡°Bye honey!¡± walking out the door, a chill touching his cheeks, he starts his walk to school.


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    Walking on this path everything seems to be the same as last year, he has walked this path many times over since the start of high school, the path never getting easier. Listening to the sounds as he walked, hearing the rustling of the few leaves on the trees that still had them, the crunching of the snow under him as he walked. Getting closer to the bus stop the same thing happens, he feels tired losing his breath as his heart beats faster, but this was fine this has happened before and he¡¯s just tired from walking. Looking ahead, he can see his bus stop, him feeling more and more out of breath as he gets closer. He walks up to the bus stop, standing in the same place as he did each day when going to school, it all still boring to him as the last time he was there. Other students that go to his school show up, him being more than aware of them, his heart still beating hard, but this is nothing new to him and like last year he will be fine none of them are aware of him or the others so he shouldn¡¯t care. In the corner of his eye he sees the bus finally coming, it parks, and he walks to get on, going up the stairs he goes to sit in the seat he would sit in last year, but there is someone there, a bad feeling wells up inside him, but he ignore this feeling sitting in a different seat and looks out the window. The bus stops at different streets picking up more students, Philip just hoping no one sits beside him. Philip ends up falling asleep as the bus goes to school, feeling the turns and shaking of the bus. Thinking back still curious about the dream he thinks harder on it, was he in a forest, no he was in a cave, everything coming up to a blank except the one thing, he remembers needing something and looking for something in the dream, his thoughts get interrupted with a big bump of the bus waking him up. Looking out the window he can see the bus moving into the parking lot of the school lining up with the other buses. Philip grabs his bag and as the bus stops he stands up, moving out of his seat and down the stairs of the bus, a bad feeling welling up again in his chest as he walks through the doors marking the start of another year and the start of school.

 Familiar eyes

    Inside the school Philip checks his phone to see what his first class was, science, ¡°of course it was,¡± though he doesn¡¯t hate science he found it less interesting than the other classes always having the urge to sleep through the lessons. Walking to his class there were many people in the hall ranging in appearance, some having confusion on their faces while trying to search for their classes and others not seeming to care that class was starting soon and just deciding to talk to their friends, ¡°Why do they have to take up so much room in the hallway.¡± Philip continues his walk to class looking at the ground as he walks trying not to bump into the many people in the hall, ¡°the many people, don¡¯t bother them.¡± Looking up, he can see his class, but out of nowhere someone knocks int¨Che bump into someone, the person falling over onto the ground. Philip looking down at the person he gets a weird sensation like he has seen this person before, looking at the person they were wearing a bright red jacket with some blue highlights and blue pants to match, the person''s face was weirdly familiar though he was sure he has never seen this person before, the persons face had noticeable flaws except his eyes were different colours a bright blue and brown. Snapping back he sees the situation, people in the area turning to see what the commotion was about murmuring being heard, ¡°They''re talking about you.¡± Looking down at the person thoughts racing in his head, ¡°I should say sorry, maybe I should help him up, no, no one actually does that, are you stupid, but I should say something, just say sorry, do something.¡± His heart rate is getting faster and faster, his mouth struggling to say anything, he can only quietly say, ¡°sorry,¡± until he continues walking going at a faster pace feeling the burning sensation of staring eyes, ¡°there looking at you.¡± Quickly getting to his class, he tries to calm himself down, he looks around the classroom with only a few people there, he takes the closest seat next to him and sits down trying to forget what happened before getting his phone out to watch videos to pass the time before class starts.


    Philip continues to watch videos as people start slowly coming into the class and sitting down getting ready for class, looking at the time he puts his phone down and takes his binder out of his bag. He looks back at his phone and checks his classes again none of them he didn¡¯t really like but he found most of his classes boring and was usually disinterested in them, in school he wasn¡¯t having a hard time usually getting good grades in each class even excelling in some, but the classes just, without him noticing, got more boring making him feel indifferent to them, but that was fine he doesn¡¯t need to be interested in the classes, he just needs to get good grades so he can do well in life and that''s what mattered. The bell rings, making him look up from his phone the room being filled before he knew it, the teacher walks in from a room and sits down at his desk at the front of the class. He was an older person with some noticeable gray hair and glasses, he wore a plaid button-up shirt and black pants, clearing his throat he spoke, ¡°Hello class, if everyone could quiet down for a second I¡¯ll start attendance,¡± slowly everyone quieted down and he listed off names. Philip looking around at the people he sees no one sat in the seat next to him, ¡°That¡¯s probably for the best,¡± he doesn¡¯t pay attention to the teacher much until he says one name, ¡°Lukis¡­ Lukis¡­ is there a Lukis here or is he absent,¡± everyone just looking around not seeming to know who that is, but Philip gets a weird sensation again like he has heard that name before, did someone say his name before in the hallway or did he know it from somewhere else. The teacher looking around just grabs his pen to write him absent until someone walks into the classroom, ¡°Hello is this room 167, the science class,¡± the teacher looking at the student says, ¡°yes this is the right class, and you are?¡±, ¡°Hi I¡¯m Lukis, sorry I¡¯m late, I couldn''t find the classroom.¡± Philip looks at the student that came into his class and his heart drops, red jacket, blue jeans and blue and brown eyes, ¡°Oh that''s not good,¡± the teacher looking Lukis up and down says, ¡°Try not to be late next time, please go sit in an empty seat.¡± Lukis looks around the class, Philip quickly looking down trying not to be noticed. Philip continues to keep his head down hoping he doesn¡¯t notice or remember him until he hears the screech of the metal chair beside him, looking up he can see Lukis sitting down beside him, ¡°Why would he sit there, does he remember me, he definitely remembers you, couldn¡¯t he sit anywhere else, please don¡¯t remember me!¡± thoughts continue to go through his head until they lock eyes, Philip quickly looks forward at the front of the class with a growing feeling of unease and something bad being felt in his chest. The teacher continues taking attendance, Philip just trying to stay calm and ignore Lukis. Class continues as normal, though the start wasn¡¯t great so far Lukis hasn¡¯t said anything to Philip and that helps to calm Philip down as he followed the instructions of the teacher, but there was one thing Philip didn¡¯t seem to be able to shake through the start of the class, through the class Philip had this weird feeling of being watched making him feel uneasy while he was picking his locker and now while he worked on the paper the teacher gave everyone. He doesn¡¯t think it''s anything more than just a feeling but the longer the class went the stronger the feeling got until he decided to just take a small look around to hopefully clear this paranoia, he takes a quick glance up from his paper and checks around him, and looking around initially not seeing anyone, like he thought it was just a feeling, going back to look at his paper he sees something in the corner of his eye someone quickly moving his head up from his paper and going back down. Philip goes to just take a quick glance to his left to see what the person was doing, ¡° There not looking at me right, why would they be looking at me I must just be paranoid, I¡¯ll just quickly look and see that this person is just minding his own business and I¡¯m just feeling a bit anxious from the situation before,¡± Philip goes to take a look, but as he went to look, like his thoughts were heard, he stares right into the eyes of Lukis that had his head turned facing Philip and for a few seconds it was just them staring at each other not blinking or break eye contact, Philip like in a trance with him not being able to look back at his paper as Lukis just stares starting to squint a bit as he looked Philip up and down, the room feeling completely silent to the point you could hear a pin drop is broken when a student in front of Lukis drops his pencil case causing a jolt to run down Philip surprised at the sudden noise. Philip then quickly looks back at his paper feeling his heartbeat inside his chest caused by the sudden sound and also him releasing he was staring at Lukis for longer than he intended, Lukis also feeling the shock of the sudden noise looks back at his paper as well not looking at Philip for the rest of the class.


    Still feeling jumpy from what happened Philip gets surprised when the bell rings, though he feels some relief from the sound. Getting up from his seat and grabbing his bag he goes for the door. Walking out he gets the feeling of being looked at again, and looking behind him he sees none other than Lukis looking at him again though this time Philip quickly looks away and moves into the crowd to hopefully get out of the sight of Lukis. Continuing to his next class nothing new happens that surprises him, though that little bump happened at the start his second class in math has nothing happen that causes him any concern, he completed his work and even tried to talk to pe¨Ckept to himself and listened to the teacher not bothering anyone. This was normal for his day-to-day life in school just staying on task and listening to the teacher, he did not need to talk to the others in his class since he didn¡¯t have questions for them, it would be a bother to them if he talked to them anyway.


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    Class continues as normal until the bell rings where he grabbed his things and moved to the door going to the library like he has done since last year since it was the most he could do for lunch since he doesn¡¯t bring a lunch to school and doesn¡¯t want to eat the cafeteria food. Going through the hallway and upstairs to the library, but as he gets to the top of the stairs he feels tired and out of breath as he walked in the hallway to the library, this was normal he just is out of shape and need to exercise more that''s why he felt so tired, continuing his heart rate getting quicker as he passed people getting an uneasy feeling in his chest seeing the people in the hallway, ¡°Are they looking at you?¡± Trying to shake this feeling he spots something that makes him slow down, it was Lukis in the hallway he seemed to be talking to people moving from one person to another making Philip question how one person can be so sociable. Philip just continues his walk to the library until, like if on queue, Philip and Lukis lock eyes again, ¡°Why does this keep happening?¡± Not able to look away Philip watches as Lukis walks towards him, ¡°Wait is he coming towards me, why would he be coming towards me,¡± Lukis picks up his pace, startling Philip making him step back a bit and before he knew it Lukis was standing right in front of him, Philip now not even able to think about what Lukis would want. Suddenly out of nowhere Lukis grabs Philip¡¯s right hand clasping it between his hands, ¡°Finally I found you, can we talk for a second,¡± his mind races not processing what Lukis just said confused at the entire situation, and without Philip giving an answer he gets pulled in one hand by Lukis to a place he doesn¡¯t know the only thoughts going through his head being, ¡°What is happening, why am I being pulled, is he mad about me knocking him over.¡± After a few minutes of being pulled, he finds himself at his locker, ¡°You should grab your coat we¡¯re going outside,¡± Lukis said as he opened his locker beside Philips locker, ¡°We¡¯re going outside, why are we going outside and why is he talking to me so casually,¡± and as if he was being controlled he just complied without speaking and grabbed his coat getting grabbed again by Lukis and pulled outside.


    Outside, Philip in a daze by the situation just looks at Lukis who looked like he was trying to gather his thoughts as he looked Philip up and down, ¡°What is he thinking is he mad at me or something, well why wouldn¡¯t he be mad at out you, you shoved him in the hall and stared at him in a class of course he¡¯s mad at yo-,¡± with a sudden burst of energy Lukis gets right in the face of Philip surprising him, and then says, ¡° Have I seen or met you before somewhere.¡± Lukis stared into the eyes of Philip who was confused at the question, of course he felt like he recognized him before as well but he was sure that was nothing and was sure they never actually met before, was he wrong? With Lukis looking at Philip seeing the confused look on his face realizes what he did, ¡° Oh, I¡¯m sorry, I should probably introduce myself before asking you questions or before dragging you outside,¡± Chuckling to himself a bit, ¡° I¡¯m Lukis, I think you know my name from science class I sit beside you.¡± Philip, getting out of his daze, responds the best he can, ¡° Ya, I know you from science class, um wh-why did you bring me out here?¡± Philip starting to come to terms with what happened, ¡° Sorry again, I just had this feeling that I couldn¡¯t shake when I saw you in the hallway for the first time and in the science class, this feeling like I have talked to you before so I wanted to see if I could remember where I have seen you from, hopefully I didn¡¯t surprise you to much with me grabbing your hand and dragging you around the school out of nowhere,¡± Lukis said starting to feel embarrassed through it didn¡¯t really show on his face with him continuing to smile, still slightly laughing at the situation. Silence follows after a few minutes with them both just looking at each other, Lukis still observing Philip trying to remember where he has seen him, Philip feeling tense from the continuous staring until he decides to speak up, ¡° Is that it or can I go now,¡± Lukis stops observing Philip and looks him in the eye making Philip feel a bit intimidated, ¡° Oh ya, sorry, I just got lost in thought for a bit so you can go, and sorry again for wasting your time.¡± Wanting to just leave and go back to the Library Philip says nothing more and turns to leave still feeling Lukis looking at him. Breathing a sigh of relief as Philip walks into the library feeling mentally tired after that talk with Lukis, ¡°How could he recognize me? I don''t think we met before that point, though he did look familiar so maybe we have seen each other before?¡± Philip sitting down in one of the chairs in the library grabbing his phone to watch videos to pass the time starts thinking back, where could he have seen Lukis before he didn¡¯t believe he hadn''t seen someone like Lukis over the summer break let alone talk to anyone besides his family. Trying to think harder he starts to think about Lukis¡¯s appearance it was very noticeable so he might remember someone like that, large body with bright clothing that stands out in a crowd, not messy but hair that seems to stick out everywhere and two bright eyes that where blue and brown, blue and brown, Philip starts think about Lukis¡¯s eyes, blue and brown I feel like I remember them from somewhere but where? Harder and harder he thinks getting more lost in thought until he remembers something. A memory flashes through his mind, but as he thought about it, it was only glimpses of of a memory, he remembers seeing blue and brown eyes in a crowd of people with him seeing them for a second and the next they''re gone, ¡°What are you thinking why would you be in a crowd, you can barely stand one person let alone a crowd you must be remembering things wrong.¡± The harder he thought about this memory the more a bad feeling in his chest grew him starting to breath harder, ¡°Where did this happen and why can¡¯t I remember, this didn¡¯t happen you¡¯re just being stupid, but I feeling like I¡¯ve seen Lukis before but where, it¡¯s a feeling you don¡¯t actually know him who would want to talk to you in the first place, but I¡¯m sure, you¡¯re not sure you haven¡¯t talked to anyone and no one has talked to you no one would even want to.¡± Philip breathing harder getting farther into his thoughts feeling his heart beating in his chest starting to question himself and whether he made a mistake and just misunderstood Lukis when he was talking to him, ¡°He only thought you looked familiar, but he couldn¡¯t remember you so that''s the end of the story, he won¡¯t talk to you again so there is no point in thinking about this, he probably already forgot about you after that talk so you should just forget him.¡± The beating of his heart gets faster, forgetting about his surroundings as he gets more and more lost in his thoughts until the bell rings, snapping him out in a jolt. Looking around he can already see the people that were around him have already left, getting up, his heart still beating fast, he grabs his bag and starts walking to his next class, ¡°I¡¯m being stupid I should just forget about him all I need to do is focus on class he won¡¯t talk to me anyways.¡± He goes along with the day with nothing important happening he just listens to the teacher and does his tasks until the end of the day where he gets onto the bus and leaves school ending his day.