《The Night I Died》


 What They Did

    I can''t fully remember all that has happened since then. It seem like a nightmare and something to good to be true. I don''t know why they did this to me. I don''t remember doing anything to me. Maybe my life was to perfect even though I had my share of problems. Or is it just the natural tendency of human beings and their disears.


    Life was so simple back then, I was only in 7th grade then people treated like they always did. Like I had malaria or some type of plague. Maybe even the Black plague that they taught us about in school that year. Even though we have heard about it a little bite the year before at least I think we did. So it honestly wasn''t that bad being ignored by almost every one. To be completely honest I liked it. No one would just randomly talk to be. I think it protected me from people who could potentially hurt me. I have been hurt emotionally so much. It''s partially my own fault because I let them and I accepted their lies as truth. I have a lot of things to overcome in my life. I''m sure my older siblings had more problems than I do. I just have identity problems, secret addictions I can''t explain.


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    I really don''t think I can understand myself very well. People in general I don''t like, because they are selfish and don''t care about how they get what they want. I remember how this one girl decided to make sure I knew I was a piece of crap. I don''t even think that she was that bad. I made it worse any way.

 Chapter 2 Hated

    I Hated What They did to Me.


    I know I don''t know how it feels to be tormented everyday. My bully as you can call them wasn''t that bad. But I was dealing with depression at the time. I know that some of you know how it is to be bullied about your low grades or being annoying. Anything they will do to try and keep you down. I was my own bully in my own way. I lied to myself everyday. That I was a worthless piece of trash. That everyone would be better off without me. I know that there would only be one person who would really miss me.


    I tried everything to get rid of that friend so I could get rid of myself. I could die with a guilty conscience. I would die and never be missed. I tried everything to get rid of her. I made her feel bad about herself. I''m truly sorry about that. Lilly is her name. Lilly is still my best friend. Telling me recently that she doesn''t cry. Lilly told me the last time she cried was at her grandfather''s funeral and then she hasn''t cried much since. But after we had our biggest fight, when I told her the worst things to get her out of my life. Lil, told me that when she went into another room and cried. We made up after that. Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.


    I don''t know why she didn''t hate me and leave me. I''m sorry for those who have never had a friend as dedicated to me as she is. I hope one day you can have a friend who will stick with you through everything. And no matter how bad you treat them. So I do guess I deserve what everyone has done to me.


    I''m thankful in some ways for some of the things that has happened. The person I know am is better than I was before. Less arrogant, maybe boastful, and vulnerable. I honestly hate that last word. It makes me feel weak, and helpless. I think that if I didn''t go through everything that I have that someone else would have to deal with it. I hope no one else will have to know about my whole life. Everything, especially my life of my family and their history. My dad wants to keep it from other people. He told my sister that when she went to talk to the counselor to not tell about the details. That''s what they are for. They are not allowed to tell anyone. It''s one of the job requirements. Unless being a witness or part of a trial. But that won''t be necessary in our case.


    My sister has been under a huge amount of pressure. We have been hoping that counseling will help her. That brings up another problem people like my two sisters and my two main friends have come into my life making it even harder to take my life. But I don''t want life this way. But I will go back to talk''n trash about the people in my life. Sorry for sidetracking.

 Chapter 3 Jerks

    Chapter 3 Jerks in real life.


    Lets just say that my family has their own secrets. There was something that they didn''t know that I have known. My family has a history with molesters. We also have a history of an abusive mother. No details remember. But I really don''t give a crap what my dad tells me a lot of the time. I know a lot of people would say that I''m lucky that I have a father. That I shouldn''t say things about him like I do. My dad isn''t that old, but is still old. Jack, lets go with that. Likes to say things like oh, I''ve lived longer then my dad. Well I''ll probably die in a few years. Well hay if you want to talk about you dying all the time then hurry up and die.


    My reasons are numbered. I have only a few. But I can always make more. Okay I don''t even know my dad that well. I never spent that much time with him. Even as a young girl. My dad has made attempts to spent time with me. I just don''t want to anymore. Jack has never cared to get to know me. Jack will always see me as a stupid, selfish little girl, who doesn''t deserve to live. These are the things he has told me since I was born. My dad isn''t a bad person as you might think by me telling you these things. But he never deserved children in my personal opinion. My dad is great with kids outside of this family. A good person over all, but not that great at parenting. My mother was a lot worse at parenting then him. I''m thankful in some ways for having the dad that I do. But I think the time has come for him to not be in my life.


    If I really think about he never really was part of my life in the first place. I''m over positive that after my dad dies I will get over it. I won''t let him ruin my future. That might look better without him in it. Don''t worry I don''t regret anything I have just said. Let me tell you the main reason behind all of this. Let me see, the incident happened before 4th grade. A boy tried to rap me. My father found this out after he left. But my dad just made this rule. It was that I was never allowed to be alone with a guy in a room. That''s not what makes my blood boil though. Even though my dad knowing that this same guy had tried to rap me. He decided that it was a great idea to invite him back to our house. Devin is his name. It is indented in my brain. Forever and ever. That I will never live. I came up with a nick name for him, DJ. It means Devin the jerk face. If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    At first I wanted to believe that my father purposely invited him back so he could try again. But I know that''s not the real reason. But the real reason is that he needed money and his mother wanted him to learn how to work for it. So to me now interpreting this. This is how I see it. My dad cares more about helping people then his daughters virginity. It makes me even more upset that this is honestly true. My dad would but that boy before my own safety any day. Death is my friend today.


    This boy never got in trouble for what he has done. But does it really matter anymore. No it doesn''t. He went to jury anyway. Me having nothing to do with it. I wonder what the world would be without, Jerks. It would be a different world for me completely. Sometimes I want to feel envious of girls who don''t have to deal with my problems. But i know that some girls wouldn''t be able to handle everything that I have gone through. Just like I wouldn''t be able to go through a few other bad things that haven''t happened anyway. I understand that each one of us were made to be able to handle a sectarian amount of things. I gave up my first friend because of Jerk Face. Knowing that I would never be able to tell him. He doesn''t have to know this part of my life. I hope he never will. I kept my home life away from him. Only talking about my crushes and favorite things.


    There was an unspoken rule between us. It was to never speak at school. We already got humiliated enough on the bus. Everyone said we were a couple. It ticked both of us off. We only talked on the bush. It was perfect, as anything in this world could. But that was before 4th grade. We gradually stopped talking over the years. Never really talked to him since 6th grade.

 Chapter 4 Phantoms

    Chapter 4 Phantoms


    I''ll tell you about a few things that changed because of DJ. I couldn''t sleep for fear of the dreams some nights. It was always the same dream. A man would come. He was in the basement coming towards me. I was never able to escape. I a woke and remember the dream for the first time. I couldn''t sleep. I stayed up crying in bed for the whole night. It made me want to never sleep again.


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    I''m not strong enough to fight against my own body. Every night I gave into sleep. I didn''t wake up remembering me dreams most nights though. Some nights I cried myself to sleep. I ended up begging God to take my life. Like so many times before. I flinched when people moved throughout the day.


    Whenever I was scared, I would become angry. Thinking showing no fear would some how save me.


    Back inside myself to cry myself to sleep. This is how I spent my days. Pretending to be strong, while whimpering in fear. Stone cold was to be the new me. Because stone can''t be hurt, but only turned into rumble. That wish could never be. For I pleaded that night, I cried desperately. For someone, something but no one came.

 Chapter 5 Death

    Chapter 5 Death


    I died alone as seen fit for one who lived as a lonely shell. Cold corpse was as close as I got to being a stone.


    My body was never found. People think I might have drowned. There was nothing to bury in the cemetery. Must have made my parents relieved. One less to pay for a barrel. No more money wasted on a worthless child.Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.


    There was no funeral. I was forgotten. The girl who made it to Joiner High, but not high school. There are no myths or mysteries to my death. No scary stories. Quite a boring tail.


    There''s something missing. Oh yeah, I''ve watched the rest of my family move on. While I was strapped in my rotting corpse.


    Enough about me now. I''ve had years of that. My sister Gabby was able to graduate a year early. Just like my older sis, Mandy. All of my family have had amazing lives. My dad died at age 80. I didn''t expect that long but yeah. My mom died 2 years later.


    She died from old timers like her mother. The disease ate all of her memories away from her husband. She died in her sleep. My dad went peacefully as well. They all died after a full life.

 Chapter 6 Afterlife

    Chapter 6 AfterLife


    There was nothing there where I went. It was into the clouds. We had to share the sky with all of man''s flying machines. I''m a ghost with my human body. So I''m called a ghoul.


    It might sound like we are evil creatures who eat people. But that is not it. We are invisible, forgotten, and dead. As such we have to follow the rules of the dead. No bothering angles, stay out of everyone''s way and be not seen or heard by anyone. If you are seen you are made permutably invisible. If heard you can no longer speak. None of these things are needed to survive and communicate. But it does take away the fun of things.This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.


    The ghosts can''t speak, can make sounds to communicate and scare people at night. They have no body to protect. The damage is terminated, nothing to do. You have to live your days out in a broken body.


    Those days end when the last of your relatives die. Then your end is chosen by the same test as everyone else. The one where you go to heaven or hell. No one tells you about the in between.


    Where the spirits are created.

 Chapter 7 Afloat

    Chapter 7 Afloat


    There are several types of spirits: the evil and good. Most are called ghosts. But only the lower evil spirits. Of the spirits are ghosts, those who are weak waver. So the leaders abandon the weak and take the strong.


    Some of the ghosts are not low spirits that have been cast aside. The others were people who chose to be ghosts.


    They passed the test and could have gone to heaven. But they choose to become ghosts. To live free from eternity. They would not go to heaven or hell. But just slowly faded until they were gone. Those people were few in number. They were the ones who wanted death as an end. Not wanting an afterlife. To live in eternity. The eternity of pain or happiness. Wanting to just stop existing.This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    I know of only one ghost to be that way.


    They were so happy and vanished with a smile. All others were always scheming and making others scream. The spirits become ghosts because they don''t truly belong in heaven or hell. So they are made to wander the earth. In some ways it is a prison for them. Others it is a way to keep them away. Not wanting them to exist for eternity. I know of one who is a bit different. God made a mistake and put him in the wrong place. So he became a ghost.


    Ghosts help in some ways to determine how long they last. Those who want to vanish go much faster than those who don''t.

 Chapter 8 Wandering

    Chapter 8 Wandering Earth


    I''ve seen a lot over the years. It makes me feel like I''m aging. Though that stops after you become a ghoul. I know that I''m too old to be alive if I did age. I gave up on counting my age pretty early. The thing that really matters is how many relatives are left to die.


    This sounds morbid, and everything is morbid as the dead. I will live my days out seeing my loved ones dead until the end. But those I love are already gone. My sister, Mary, is dead. She died because her heart was weak. Her pulse gave out. She died fairly quickly. I don''t remember where she was burried. The thing that is so miserable about this is that I don''t get to know where she ends up. I don''t get to say goodbye. There is no peace.


    I''m lucky in some ways because my family isn''t as large as others. My grandparents died while I was still living. My parents died fairly quickly. My dad held on for years. That lying bastered. He has done nothing except lie and say he didn''t know anything. Like how he didn''t know about the man I should have killed. The boy I see as a phantom. The thing is I couldn''t find him. I don''t know if he''s a live or dead. I didn''t get to kill him and watch the life go out of him. You call those who are able to revengful spirits.The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.


    They call it just a long time coming. Justice and hope have never existed. The thing humans call Justice and hope are just sad excuses. They want to believe something so much that they convince themselves of it. I''ve given up on humanity a long time ago.


    In the truth they want to be manipulated, controlled, and liked to. Once someone has made up their mind nothing anyone can do or say to change it. Not unless they choose to change. But nobody really does. A few try to change and find a better way. All they did was choose a different poison. They all die about the same. The lucky ones die doing what they love.


    What they actually love is only revelved in thier last moments. See a man had a good life. Didn''t do anything risky. He played his life safe. But you told the truth about him when he died. He died by sky diving. He had decided to risk it all. By not pulling open the parachute. He died because he love the risk so much.


    There are so many people like him who die in the same way. The thing about others is sometimes they do what they love until they die.


    A drunk dies because he drank too much. People don''t realize that their love for something can get themselves killed.

 Chapter 9 Seeing

    Chapter 9 Seeing people die


    People would think it would be horrible to see others die. But I''ve been doing it for a long time. In fact it''s quite boring. Kinda like romance movies for me. Since I already know the ending, the story, and thier exact words.


    But I kinda like how predictable it is and sometimes I get a surprise ending. Those are the most fun. Things stay the same for the most part. Then there is an unexpected change. But thier so few and far between. They almost always fall apart.


    These changes happen when someone gets smart and does something. They''re usually trying to save the world or make it better. It all just goes to waste. If they''re lucky they die with a false sense of accomplishment. It''s false since all of their work comes undone eventually.


    It was all for nothing. Just like them and thier life. Maybe they were hoping God would step in or something. Yeah I don''t think he cares. Plus there is no way he loves me. So I''ve decided to not believe in him. I should have done this long ago. Then I wouldn''t have ended up in this whole living until everyone dies crap. Stolen novel; please report.


    Since belief believes in God so he becomes real for him. Maybe if I hadn''t believed in him I wouldn''t go anywhere. I see it he only has power in how much you believe he has power over you. Since he''s not real. You made yourself hear him cause you believed in a religion. It''s like a hallucination and a vision. Except it''s worse because it''s a whole religion that tries to prove its true.


    I''m done with the Bull Shite religion. I believe there is no Good so there is none. For all I know I''m stuck in a dream of some sort. Or just died and am now in nothing cause that is what the after life should be. The ultimate end.


    So now I''m that I don''t believe in him, none of this is real. Maybe once I realize this and state that this is fact I''ll get out of this prison I must have trapped myself into. Oh so that is what religion really is. It''s just a trap, a lie that draws you in and controls you. Well I''m not letting religion control my life.


    I understand this now and why I couldn''t let it go. I guess I had to go back to the very beginning. Why did it hurt when I realized God didn''t really love me? Oh, I see since I wanted him to love me. I couldn''t love myself. I have no one left to love me and god promised that he did. Well he turned out to be lier like everyone else.

 Chapter 10 Ending

    Chapter 10 The end that will be the new beginning.


    I can''t bring myself to love me. So I believe in that promise. But he doesn''t love me and he doesn''t exist. So I don''t need him. I control me and nothing holds me back.


    Well I was right about figuring this thing out and I would escape for the most part. Since I was just standing in front of the eiffel tower a minute ago. Now I''m in darkness. There is no one there and a cement ground below me.


    I guess this is where atheist go since they don''t believe in God and those who believe in nothing. This doesn''t seem like a bad place at all. I wouldn''t mind having my life end here.


    I wonder if I can create something here. Since this is like a blank canvas. So I can think or wish for something and see it. Okay I''ll try it. I have nothing to lose and literally nothing.


    But before I did I looked down expecting to see my ghoul form. But there was only darkness. I was black mist that had shape. The shape of a human body. But all it was is an outline. I moved my arm to touch my face and the mist of my hand went through my face.Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.


    I took it out and tested my theory about everything being a blank canvas out on my body. I though about my past human form I could bearly remember. Once I looked at myself again I had that body but no clothes on. I then realized I had to make the clothes. So I imagined myself in a blue dress and I had one on.


    I experimented with it. I tried out different clothes and body shapes. Then I found one that fit me best. I felt I could be a new person.


    I had a similar body, face to my original one. Except I had a clean shaven man''s face and no breasts.


    I was a man, but I didn''t mind in the least. I look and sound so much better. I did enjoy being nothing better than my human and ghoul shape. I wasn''t anything. No gender, no sex, no rules, expectations, and no more lies.


    This form suited me best and I say myself as a man. But more importantly as someone I could grow to love. I could finally love myself.


    I don''t right now but I will one day. That''s enough for me. How about I change the scenery now.


    I want to live my days quietly and how I like. So I picked a nice country place with a house. Maybe someone I can fall in love with nearby.


    It''s just how I imagined I feel finally at peace. I see a stranger in the cottage nearby. I''m standing on a hill in a t-shirt and shorts. It''s a little windy, it''s fall weather just not chilly yet. The plants haven''t all died yet. You can see a few leaves going brown.


    I''m standing on a little hill, I can see a small City. No, it looks more like a village. I can make a life here. The man I say in that cottage looks friendly. I''ll go say hi.


    Well I''m off living how I want with who I want. I''m a free man and pretty happy with myself. I''ll live my life and everybody can live theirs. Well I better get to it. Who knows what happens at the end. And who really cares.