《A Perfect Ten (Forbidden Men #5)》


 Page 1

    I started out with good intentions. I¡¯m serious.


    That¡¯s fucking whack to hear, I know. Me and those two words strung together like that just don¡¯t mix. But in this case, I actually did want to do what was best.


    It was probably some stray brotherly vibe left over from days long past. I do still get weird when I learn a chick I¡¯m with is someone¡¯s sister. If I don¡¯t know about it, I¡¯m cool; I can proceed with my typical asshole ways. But if she has to go and mention it, I start itching with respect and shit, which ruins the wicked intentions I usually have.


    So knowing she was a little sister before I ever laid eyes on her doomed everything from the get-go. What¡¯s worse, she wasn¡¯t just anyone¡¯s little sister. She had to go and be his little sister. But meeting her as he was carrying her from a bathroom where she¡¯d been deathly ill all night was what really cinched it for me. She looked like death warmed over with her skin so pale and translucent, strands of damp blonde hair falling out of a loose ponytail, and thin arms limp with exhaustion as she wrapped them around her brother¡¯s neck.


    After seeing her like that and listening in on what she¡¯d told him had happened to her, I got all these freaking, pansy-ass reactions. The strongest was...what¡¯s that one word? That thing that¡¯s never applied to me. Oh, yeah. Protective. I turned protective. I wanted to yank her out of his arms, into my own, and kick anyone who came close to us right in the nuts.


    I was ready to murder for this girl.


    And that was before she even lifted her face from his shoulder and looked at me. Talk about a slap on the ass. I wasn¡¯t expecting to experience a damn thing from merely making eye contact with some chick. But I did, and so much more. Her unforgettable blue eyes were bruised with sleeplessness, her perfectly shaped cheekbones were tinged with a sick kind of gray, and her lips were chapped until dried blood flaked off her delectable mouth. Yet even so, she was so damn beautiful in one of those hauntingly ethereal ways it stole my breath.


    Yeah, yeah, I¡¯m being all flowery and dramatic and bullshit, but it¡¯s fucking true, so shut it.


    I know what else you¡¯re thinking. I¡¯m Oren Tenning; I think a lot of women are gorgeous. What else is new? I can¡¯t step outside my apartment without listing off attributes I appreciate.


    Check out her ass.


    Love the titties on that one.


    Hey, let me run my tongue over that lip for you, honey.


    Oh yeah, I¡¯d do her in a New York minute.


    That one¡¯s so hot I¡¯d even do her again.


    But for me it¡¯s rare when the appearance of any particular girl punches me so hard it leaves a hole in my gut and sticks in my mind.


    Caroline Gamble left a gigantic hole burning right through the center of my stomach. The place still singes when I see her, or when someone talks about, or when I think, or even dream about her. Shit, I¡¯ve invested stock in antacids because my entire digestive tract is one constant, sweltering mess.


    I should¡¯ve never been nice to her. That¡¯s what really fucked me. I realize that now...now that it¡¯s too freaking late.


    See, I always¡ªalways¡ªbehaved when she was around. I watched what I said. I treated her politely, all things that are out of the norm for me, yeah, but I didn¡¯t want her to know what a creepy perv I really was. I wanted her to think I was a nice guy. Plus her brother would¡¯ve kicked my ass if I hadn¡¯t been perfectly behaved around her.


    But, fuck, did being nice backfire in a major way.


    The damn girl tried to kiss me. Twice.


    I know. The nerve.


    There I was, attempting to be good for once in my life. I was already uncomfortable and irritated with all the respect and protectiveness I had going for her. Add that to how wildly attracted I was and the fact that her older brother¡ªmy best goddamn friend on earth¡ªwarned me away from her on a daily basis, and what do you get? You get one tempted motherfucker, that¡¯s what you get. How dare she put the moves on me when I was trying to play good despite the fact I wanted to fuck her two hundred ways to Tuesday.


    Worst moment of my life was turning her down on both of those occasions she tried to lay a wet one on me. Okay, fine. The second worst moment of my life. Whatever. But we¡¯re not talking about n¨²mero uno on my shit list. So, just drop those curious little thoughts already. We¡¯re talking about that lost expression that invaded Caroline¡¯s face the moment I said, ¡°Don¡¯t,¡± and ¡°stop,¡± and ¡°this is not going to happen.¡±


    Yeah, don¡¯t. First and last time I ever said that to a woman.


    A light dimmed from her eyes, the smile dropped from her lips, and her shoulders curled protectively in around herself. I had never been so bothered about hurting someone as I was in those two moments. I think they crushed me more than they did her.

 Page 2

    Thank God she spun away and ran off both times (though there were¡ªdammit¡ªtears in her eyes) before I could react. I probably would¡¯ve fallen to my knees and apologized, or hugged her, or some crap. And I definitely would¡¯ve finished that kiss I hadn¡¯t let her start. Who knew what would¡¯ve followed, but I¡¯m sure it¡¯s something her brother would slaughter me for even thinking.


    I had to bring out the big guns after that. She was Noel Gamble¡¯s one and only sister; I could not fuck her. No matter what. I needed to take drastic measures to keep her at arm¡¯s length. I needed to...okay, fine. Fuck. I just needed to be me. Not really so drastic once you think about it, even though it probably seemed that way to her.


    So I let her have the full intensity of Ten. I stopped watching what I said when she was around, and I let all my base, disgusting thoughts bleed out of my mouth like I usually did. I stopped smiling at her, stopped paying her special attention with little courteous things like holding doors open for her or asking her how her day went. I completely stopped being a nice guy. I backed off and pretty much ignored her, unless I could think up something crude to say in her direction. I made sure to chase other women when she was around. And I felt like shit every night I lay in bed, unable to get to sleep, because I¡¯d relive every awful thing I¡¯d done to her that day.


    No matter how deeply my actions bothered me, though, it didn¡¯t stop me from making her hate me and killing any soft feelings she¡¯d ever had for me.


    It should¡¯ve been easy to accomplish. Everyone who knew me understood how fast I could piss off a woman.


    But nothing about Caroline has ever been easy.


    That¡¯s the curious thing about temptation. It festers and grows. You feed that bitch enough and she morphs into craving, and then craving turns into obsession. Pretty soon, nothing in your life is as important as that one thing you want but can¡¯t have.


    I wanted her and I couldn¡¯t have her, so I fed the temptation, I flooded the craving, I would¡¯ve fucking nursed the obsession from my own tits if I could¡¯ve. I made sure I got little doses of her here and there. Except something incredibly enlightening happens when you spend enough time in one woman¡¯s company. You start noticing shit about her, little useless crap that actually begins to mean everything, like how she brushes the hair out her face¡ªeven if there isn¡¯t any in her eyes¡ªwhenever she¡¯s unsettled, or how she chews on the end of a pen during class whenever she¡¯s listening to something that captures her attention. You learn all her different laughs and know what each one means. You learn what pisses her off the most, or what makes her the happiest. You discover how smart and witty and sarcastic she is, and that her mind is almost as dirty as yours. You see how passionate she becomes when she defends those she loves, and you start to fall. Hard.


    So, this is my Pathetic Loser¡¯s confession: I am Oren Tenning, and I have fallen. Hard.


    Damn, I can¡¯t believe I just admitted that about a girl I¡¯ve never even kissed, much less fucked. But I¡¯m almost out of tricks here. I know I need to keep on keeping her away, except I¡¯m getting desperate. I want her so goddamn bad.


    It¡¯s my own damn fault, really. I could¡¯ve and should¡¯ve turned her off of me for good by now. It¡¯s just that every time I think I¡¯ve finally done something that will make her hate me forever¡ªsomething she¡¯ll never forgive me for¡ªthe panic sets in. I can¡¯t bear the thought of her hating me and never forgiving me. So then I have to go and do something to ensure her forgiveness.


    She always forgives me, too, even though she shouldn¡¯t. But I love that about her, that sweet, beautiful, over-forgiving, dirty-minded heart of hers. And so I keep plowing down this destructive path, knowing good and well I¡¯m running myself insane, and probably her too.


    Something¡¯s gotta give soon or I¡¯ll explode...most likely inside her.


    I just hope it doesn¡¯t end up with me dead at the hands of my best friend.


    ¡°Ooh, he¡¯s cute. Caroline, don¡¯t you think he¡¯s cute?¡±


    I sighed as Blaze¡ªand yes, she¡¯d given herself that name¡ªshoved me in the arm for like the tenth time in the past five minutes, almost making me upset the glass of cola I was nursing.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± I said, not even bothering to check out the newest hottie she¡¯d spotted. ¡°He¡¯s...adorable.¡±


    Usually, I was all for checking out anyone within my age range who possessed a Y chromosome. But tonight, I was anti-Y, so freaking anti-Y that I¡¯d rather throw a vat of flesh-eating acid on the lot of them than check out one of their annoying, irritating, cute smiles, or asses, or packages, or pecs.

 Page 3

    Across the table from us, Zoey covered her mouth with her hand and tried not to laugh out loud over my lackluster response. I scowled at her and mouthed, ¡°Shut up.¡±


    She had nothing to be moody about. Her boyfriend was frigging perfect. Gorgeous, considerate, sweet, faithful, Quinn Hamilton was exactly the kind of guy I should crave. But no¡­oh no. The idiot I coveted was a loud-mouthed, politically incorrect jerk who shoved his penis into any willing woman who batted her eyelashes at him.


    Except me. Me, he had turned down flat.


    Twice.


    Yeah, I said twice...because I was idiot enough not to get the hint the first time around.


    Wrapping myself with my own arms, because just remembering his rejections made me feel all ugly, worthless, and gross, I glared at my drink, wishing I had even a hint of a bourbon in my cola. But my brother was working the bar, so that was a no-go.


    Typically, his coworkers would slip me a little alcohol, but not if Noel was on the clock. No one crossed Noel Gamble where his eighteen-year-old sister was concerned, not even the biggest loud-mouthed, politically incorrect jerk of the century.


    ¡°No, wait. Check him out instead. Now there¡¯s a stallion I¡¯d like to mount and ride.¡± Blaze literally licked her lips as she gazed hungrily across the crowded club. ¡°Just look at how thick that chest is. And those arms. Mmm, God. You gotta know the rest of him is just as big. Dayum. I want to see him naked.¡±


    ¡°Hey,¡± Zoey spoke up, her tone annoyed. ¡°That one¡¯s my boyfriend.¡±


    I glanced over to find Quinn¡¯s hulking figure up by the stage as he talked to Asher.


    Ready for the evening¡¯s performance, Asher had a guitar strapped to his back. He swept a long piece of hair out of his face before gesturing with his hands as he spoke to Quinn. And like Quinn, he was another amazing guy, a hot rocker dude with a voice that made your hormones hum along with him every time he sang.


    But he didn¡¯t want me either, which brought up another reason I was so anti-male these days. The good guys who might actually treat me right stayed away, weren¡¯t interested or already had a woman. The only asshole who¡¯d actually taken a chance on me had used me, turned me into his dirty little secret, and then thrown me out like yesterday¡¯s trash. Was it any wonder I hadn¡¯t had sex in almost a year?


    Oh, hell. Had it already almost been a year? Not cool.


    I sank deeper into my chair as Blaze gasped. ¡°What?! That hunk of walking orgasm is your boyfriend? Since when can you attract a guy?¡±


    ¡°Whoa!¡± I sat up straighter, scowling at Blaze. ¡°What the hell? Zoey could attract any man she wanted.¡±


    Zoey was my best friend on earth. She and I had come here tonight with Quinn to watch Asher¡¯s band play. Blaze was merely a passing acquaintance I shared a couple classes with, who¡¯d approached us tonight, probably just looking for a table to sit at.


    ¡°But she¡¯s just so...¡± Blaze motioned to Zoey as she made a sour face. ¡°So...¡±


    ¡°Sweet?¡± I guessed snidely, arching an eyebrow while my gaze dared her to say one more negative thing about my friend. ¡°Beautiful? Smart? Loyal?¡±


    ¡°Shy,¡± Blaze burst out as if that was something horrid. ¡°Seriously, I don¡¯t know why you hang out with such losers. You¡¯re not like them, but I swear you try to be. You just need to live a little, Caroline. Find yourself a man. A hot one-night stand. I haven¡¯t heard about you hooking up with anyone since we met last semester, and I know you¡¯re not into chicks. I¡¯m worried your poor vagina¡¯s going to wrinkle up and dry out if you don¡¯t give it a little pampering.¡±


    Zoey¡¯s eyes grew big as she darted glances between me and Blaze. Unlike Blaze, though, she knew I had a temper and wasn¡¯t afraid to use it, so she also knew I wasn¡¯t going to let Blaze get away with saying all that shit unscathed.


    One freshly clawed face coming up.


    Sniffing up some oxygen into my nostrils, I nodded and sent Blaze a pleasant smile. ¡°You know what? You¡¯re absolutely right.¡±


    ¡°I know.¡± She lifted a hand and motioned toward Quinn. ¡°I say you take her man and show him what a real woman¡¯s like.¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I shook my head. ¡°Not about that. You were right about me hanging out with too many losers. I totally need to stop that shit. They¡¯re such a drain. So...bye-bye now...you fucking loser.¡±


    Blaze¡¯s mouth fell open. ¡°What the hell? What¡¯d I say?¡±


    Was she for real? ¡°What did you not say? You just belittled my best friend and then told me to go cheat on her with her boyfriend. I don¡¯t care who you are, that¡¯s wrong, honey. And since when does a girl need a man in her life to be considered living? I don¡¯t need some useless dick around to prove I¡¯m somebody.¡±

 Page 4

    ¡°Well, damn, you didn¡¯t have to be such a bitch about it. I was just looking out for you, Care.¡± With a huff, Blaze shoved her chair back and hopped to her feet. ¡°I don¡¯t have to take this from you.¡± Arching her chin up, she pulled her shoulders back and pushed her chest forward. ¡°Only a girl who can¡¯t get a guy would say that, anyway. You¡¯re both losers.¡±


    As she flounced off, I snorted. Good riddance. I turned to Zoey to apologize for letting Blaze sit with us in the first place, but she was already sending me a regretful wince as she bit her lip. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Caroline.¡±


    I blinked. ¡°You¡¯re sorry? About what? She was the one who insulted you.¡±


    ¡°But she insulted you too, and I said nothing. If I was just a little more outgoing or¡ª¡±


    Reaching across the table, I clasped her hand. ¡°Zo, you are perfect just the way you are. And I don¡¯t want you to change a thing. Besides, how can you listen to a word she said, about you or me? She¡¯s headed over to hit on your man as we speak.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s what?¡± Zoey twisted in her seat to watch as Blaze boldly approached both Asher and Quinn, but Quinn was the one she turned to. She moved in close enough to brush up against his arm as she sent him a flirty smile.


    Bouncing in her seat, Zoey clapped happily. ¡°Oh, this should be fun to watch. I hope he¡¯s really cold and rude when he rejects her.¡±


    I shook my head, amused. Ninety percent of the women I knew would turn jealous and insecure when another woman hit on her boyfriend and end up blaming him, but not Zoey. She was completely confident about her relationship with her man, and she knew Quinn would never cheat...which only made me feel worse about my own pathetic relationship status.


    Without my consent, my gaze strayed to another part of the bar where one dark-headed guy flirted with four¡ªnot one, or two, or even three, but four¡ªwomen at once. He¡¯d looped his arms around two of their waists while he said something to the other pair in front of him. When the two girls in front of him moved together and began kissing, he hooted in approval as if he¡¯d asked them to do it and was pleased about getting his wish granted.


    The sleaze ball.


    I rolled my eyes and tore my attention away before I puked. Oren Tenning was the epitome of the male chauvinist pig. Every word to spew from his mouth was laced with all his crude, promiscuous thoughts. I wanted to hate everything about him with every fiber of my being, except he stirred each molecule in me into wanting to pounce and take him instead.


    Humiliated that I¡¯d actually tried to kiss him a few months ago, and even more humiliated that he¡¯d stopped me¡ªtwice¡ªI clenched my teeth. He and his harem were the very reason I was so pissy this evening.


    But seriously, four women? Was that not a bit excessive?


    I would almost swear he went out of his way to make himself look like the biggest man-whore asshole on the planet whenever I was around just to keep me away from him. But then, that was probably wishful, presumptuous thinking on my part. I¡¯d worked out some big romantic plot in my head where he was desperately in love with me but he had to stay away because his best friend¡ªmy overprotective big brother¡ªwould kill him for even looking at me wrong, thus he went to ridiculous lengths to make me disapprove of him. If I hated him and stayed away, he wouldn¡¯t feel so tempted into falling for my wonderful self.


    Yeah, I only wished that were the case. In reality, he probably didn¡¯t even know I was in the building and his only passing thought of me was that he had to be nice to me or my brother would lob off his dick with a butter knife.


    My shoulders slumped. God, my life sucked. Maybe Blaze had been onto something when she said I needed to live a little. Because really, it had almost been a year since I¡¯d stepped out of my comfort zone. I didn¡¯t agree that I needed a man to make myself something, but Zoey seemed more fulfilled to have a special someone to share everything with her. And since Noel had met Aspen, there was something different about him, as if her presence settled a restless part of him. Having one certain someone around to talk to might not be so bad, someone to hang out with, to tell secrets to and lean on when I needed support, someone to support when he needed a boost. That didn¡¯t sound bad at all.


    So why wasn¡¯t I getting back on that horse and trying out the dating scene to find that kind of companionship? Maybe because the last time I¡¯d searched for that in a guy, it ruined me. Maybe I was letting myself obsess over Oren because unconsciously I knew I could never have him. I could safely pine for him without putting my heart at risk...again.

 Page 5

    I did miss kissing, though. And certain parts of touching. Being physically close to someone and drowning myself in a little bit of pleasure.


    ¡°Maybe I should have a one-night stand,¡± I said aloud.


    Zoey swerved around in her seat to blink at me from large, startled green eyes. ¡°Say what?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s been almost a year since Sander,¡± I told her, feeling funny just saying his name.


    Sander Scotini had broken me so badly I hadn¡¯t been able to speak his name aloud but a handful of times in the past twelve months. I hated how much power I¡¯d given him just by my inability to vocalize his existence...and by how wary of the opposite sex in general I¡¯d been since him, or how overprotective of me my scandal had made Noel. I wanted my freaking power back. I wanted to be able to live again.


    ¡°And I don¡¯t want a dried-out, wrinkled-up old vagina,¡± I said with maybe a bit too much vehemence.


    Zoey sniffed and waved her hand. ¡°That¡¯s just absurd. Mine wasn¡¯t used for eighteen years, and Quinn has no complaints about it now.¡±


    I snorted out a laugh, loving it whenever my quiet, reserved best friend said something shocking.


    ¡°What¡¯s so funny?¡± Quinn asked, popping up behind Zoey and slipping his arms around her waist from behind.


    As he kissed the side of her neck and nuzzled his nose into her ponytail, I couldn¡¯t help but gag a little, in a very jealous, I-hate-you-for-being-so-disgustingly-content-while-I¡¯m-miserable way. A part of me still adored watching them together, though, because I did love a good happily ever after.


    Separated, Quinn and Zoey were usually too shy to do much but bleed back into the sidelines. Together, however, they lit up like Christmas tree lights, and I loved Christmas tree lights. Best lights in the world.


    Watching Zoey¡¯s face brighten with pleasure as she ran her hand up his arm and pulled him in tighter behind her, I shook my head. ¡°I totally love your girlfriend, that¡¯s what.¡±


    Quinn cuddled his cheek against Zoey¡¯s. ¡°Sorry, but she¡¯s already taken.¡±


    I sniffed. ¡°Hey, don¡¯t be so selfish, Hamilton. Can¡¯t you share her at least every other weekend? I bet she¡¯s a hot piece of ass.¡±


    ¡°Oh, she is.¡± He grinned, looking proud of himself. ¡°So I¡¯m definitely not sharing.¡±


    While we all laughed, I slid my attention past them to the stage where Blaze had approached him. I was a little disappointed I¡¯d missed the big rejection he¡¯d given her; I¡¯d been too concerned about glaring at the man-whore with his four skanks.


    Damn, I was pathetic.


    Spotting Blaze coming on to Asher now, I shook my head, disgusted. When Asher caught me watching him, I rolled my eyes and gave him a thumbs down, letting him know the woman talking to him wasn¡¯t worth his time. He sent me a wink, telling me in return that he got it and would be keeping his hands off my ex-acquaintance. I could even hear his voice in my head saying, ¡°You got it, babe,¡± like he usually did.


    I preened rather smugly. I¡¯d just showed that bitch.


    It was nice to know I had some kind of influence, which made me adore Asher for giving in to me. If only he could¡¯ve been the guy I wanted more than anything. He might¡¯ve actually risked the wrath of my brother to be with me. Or maybe not. I wasn¡¯t exactly sure about him, because neither of us had attempted anything with each other. I think he suspected where my heart already lay. My stupid, idiotic heart that had no sense of decency or self-preservation whatsoever. Seriously, what kind of heart fell for an annoying, obnoxious, loud-mouthed male slut?


    Probably a weak, too-forgiving, clueless heart, because no matter how much it hurt to watch him drool over four other women, I always came up with a reason to fall for Oren Tenning again and again. Every freaking day. Just when I decided I hated him, and meant it this time, he¡¯d come up with one huge redeeming quality that made me look past all the bad and just see...him.


    Like now. He caught sight of Quinn and Zoey and let go of one of his whores to point to them. ¡°Blondie!¡± he called with a big, happy grin.


    Zoey and I were both blonde, but I knew he was greeting her. For some reason unknown to me, he refused to call her by her first name. He¡¯d even go as far as to describe her in terms of ¡°that girl¡± or ¡°the one Hamilton¡¯s dating¡± to keep from saying Zoey. But mostly, she was Blondie to him.


    The boy had issues if you asked me.


    But then, I had even more for wanting him as badly as I did.


    Once again unwillingly warmed to him because he was so nice and accepting of my shy best friend, I sighed. He and Zoey had a close friendship. He¡¯d never once made her feel freakish for how introverted she was, and I couldn¡¯t outright hate him because of it.

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    I could hate him for making me jealous of a bunch of nasty sluts who absolutely wouldn¡¯t stop pawing at him, though. I wanted to slap the smirk right off the little witch who was leaning in to nuzzle her nose against his neck. I itched to stalk over there, yank her away by the hair and nuzzle her nose against the first wall I found...as hard as I could.


    Okay, fine. I had a whole boatload of issues instead of just a couple. Sue me.


    But, ooh, was that bastard sliding his hand over the other one¡¯s ass while the first one sucked on his neck? He was! Grr. I hated him so much.


    Wishing Oren Tenning a long, slow, painful venereal disease-ridden death, I glanced away. ¡°He is such a freaking man-whore.¡±


    Both Quinn and Zoey glanced at me, their gazes full of sympathy, which made me want to pull my hair and scream, because I also hated how so many people knew how much of a crush I had on Oren. It wasn¡¯t fair.


    ¡°That¡¯s it,¡± I announced. ¡°I¡¯m doing it.¡±


    Zoey and Quinn looked at each other, frowning in confusion, before turning back to me. ¡°Doing what?¡± they asked together.


    I blew out a breath. ¡°I¡¯m living again. I... I...¡± Glancing frantically around the place, I paused on the first guy I spotted. ¡°I¡¯m going to go talk to him.¡±


    Zoey glanced over and winced. ¡°Him? Are you sure...?¡±


    I gave a very decisive nod. ¡°I¡¯m positive.¡±


    ¡°Who is he?¡± Quinn wondered, eyeing the guy censoriously. He was another friend of my brother¡¯s and was probably guessing how many times Noel would kill the guy for even talking to me.


    I was thinking Noel had way too many freaking friends.


    ¡°No clue,¡± I said, not caring who he was at all. ¡°How about I go ask him.¡±


    To be on the safe side, I snatched up the pi?a colada Blaze had abandoned at our table for a little liquid courage and gulped it.


    Slamming the empty glass down, I let out a refreshed breath. ¡°Please excuse me while I get my groove on.¡± Standing up, I threw a flirty little wave at Zoey and Quinn¡ªor Zwinn, as I was going to call them henceforth¡ªand I turned to make my way toward Mr. Lucky, whoever he was.


    Except I couldn¡¯t spot him anywhere. Crap. Where had he gone? Didn¡¯t he know he was a possible candidate for clearing the cobwebs from my vagina? My own personal cobweb duster.


    ¡°Um...¡± Zoey cleared her throat before she helpfully offered, ¡°He went that way.¡±


    I jerked around to scowl at her. Then I pointed at Quinn. ¡°Stop laughing. My groove¡¯s been on an extended vacation.¡±


    He immediately pursed his lips tight, holding in a grin. I narrowed my eyes and waited a tick to make sure another laugh didn¡¯t slip out. Then I glanced at Zoey. She pointed me in the right direction. I nodded my thanks and turned that way, grateful when I spotted my possibly first one-night-stand man straight ahead.


    I closed in on my target, a determined woman on a mission. I was going to get my life and my girl power back tonight if it was the last thing I did. Fuck Sander Scotini and what he¡¯d turned me into. And fuck Oren Tenning for rejecting me. I wasn¡¯t going to let those assholes get me down.


    The stranger¡¯s back was to me as he talked to two other guys. I¡¯m not sure why I¡¯d singled him out. Maybe because he was the antithesis of Oren. Shorter, pale-headed, not at all sporty-looking in a polo shirt and dark gray pleated slacks. I doubted Oren even owned a pair of slacks.


    With one last glance back at Zwinn, I sent them a ¡°watch this shit¡± grin and plowed ahead until I rammed into my target¡¯s back, making him lurch forward and dump the lager he was holding all over the front of his pretty yellow polo shirt.


    ¡°Oh my God. I¡¯m so sorry.¡± Forcing myself not to snicker in triumph, I grabbed up a handful of napkins from the table next to us. ¡°Are you okay? I can¡¯t believe I did that.¡± Or that I¡¯d nailed him so perfectly.


    He turned to me slowly, his face molted with rage, only for his expression to clear when he saw me. I batted my lashes and cooed out my sympathy as I took in his soaked shirt. ¡°Oh, you poor thing. Let me get that for you.¡± I dabbed at his chest a few times¡ªnot a bad chest, but not the best either¡ªbefore I bent in front of him to sop up the spilled beer on the floor by his feet. Once I had the floor reasonably dry, I stayed kneeling but lifted my face to meet his gaze.


    ¡°Did I get everything?¡± I¡¯m not sure if it was how close my face was to his junk, the breathiness in my voice, or the complete innocence I tried to blink into my eyes, but the guy fell for it, hook, line, and sinker.

 Page 7

    ¡°Uh...¡± His attention darted from my face, to the front of his pants, and then back to my face as I rose back to my full height.


    ¡°Let me buy you another drink.¡± He didn¡¯t seem to notice I wasn¡¯t wearing a legal-to-drink wristband like he was, meaning I wasn¡¯t able to buy him shit, unless it was plain soda. If he had, he might¡¯ve known how severely I was tricking my way into a meet-cute.


    Instead, he stepped right into my trap. He lifted his hand to stop me from turning toward the bar. ¡°No, that¡¯s okay. How about I get you a drink instead?¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Wow, this was almost too easy. ¡°That¡¯d be great. Thanks.¡± I glanced surreptitiously toward the bar as I tucked a long piece of bangs out of my face.


    My stomach swarmed with nerves. Most of the crowd had gathered around the stage as Asher and his band began to set up their instruments, which left the bar area less congested. I could see Noel from where I stood as he served someone a bottled beer. Mason Lowe was behind the bar with him, but neither of them noticed me, so I took a small step to the side to hide myself a little better and kept smiling at Mr. Mission Accomplished.


    ¡°I¡¯m Caroline,¡± I called over the noise as I held out my hand.


    ¡°Trey,¡± he answered, shaking with me and tugging me just a little closer to him before he let go.


    Asher chose that moment to interrupt us. He turned on his mike and introduced the band, Non-Castrato. The crowd grew rowdy until the drummer counted off the first song and all the guitars started in. When people realized they were playing an original, something Asher had written called ¡°Slingshot,¡± the female fans began to scream.


    Then Asher leaned in to sing, and the female fans promptly shut up so they could hear him. I grinned at how captivated he could hold an audience.


    Trey nudged me in the arm to get my attention. ¡°Have you heard them before?¡±


    I could¡¯ve told him any number of things¡ªhow well I knew Asher, that I owned their album and had all their songs memorized, that I came to watch Non-Castrato play just about every Friday. But I kind of wanted to be a little more mysterious and illusive.


    ¡°Oh...a couple times,¡± I answered, smiling evasively.


    He smiled back, though his eyes had a hard time staying on mine. They liked to wander and dip, checking out my chest. He definitely wasn¡¯t uninterested. If I wanted him, I could probably snag him. Now, I just had to figure out if I really wanted him.


    ¡°What about you?¡± I asked.


    He paused before answering, flagging down a waitress and taking two bottles off her tray before paying for them.


    As he turned back to me, offering me one of them, I bit my lip. He hadn¡¯t bothered to ask if I wanted this brand of beer, or even if the drink I preferred was beer. That had to be a mark on the con side of my list. But he did have an awfully pretty smile and very expressive eyes that let me know just how much he liked what he saw when he looked at me. That tallied two checkmarks on the pro side. I decided to give him another chance before I made my final decision.


    ¡°Thanks,¡± I said and reached for the bottle. But before I could gain possession, another hand swooped in and took it from him.


    My stomach sank into my knees.


    Busted.


    I looked up, expecting to find a furious Noel, but was shocked to see Oren instead. Ignoring me, he glared down my prospective one-night stand as if he wanted to kick Trey¡¯s ass.


    A bubble of excitement bounced around in my chest. Was he jealous? He kind of looked jealous. A mad jealous. I hoped he was jealous and swept me away, forgetting about his four skanks, and took me home with him instead.


    ¡°Are you fucking blind, asshole?¡± Grabbing my elbow, he lifted my arm and waved my bare wrist in Trey¡¯s face. ¡°Do you want to go to jail tonight for giving alcohol to a minor?¡±


    My mouth fell open as hypocrite Tenning continued to glower at Trey, because Oren just happened to be one of Noel¡¯s coworkers who gave me free alcohol whenever he was working the bar and Noel was not.


    ¡°I...I...¡± Face flooding a bright, embarrassed red, Trey glanced at me, his eyes wide with alarm. I could tell by the look on his face he¡¯d just realized I¡¯d played him. ¡°I didn¡¯t know she was a minor. I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    ¡°Well, maybe you would¡¯ve gotten the clue if you¡¯d been able to stop staring at her tits long enough to see that she wasn¡¯t wearing a wristband, fuckwad.¡±


    I tried to jerk my arm out of Oren¡¯s grip, but he refused to let go. Taking a step closer to Trey, he asked, ¡°Do you even know who her brother is?¡±

 Page 8

    Oh God. He just had to go there, didn¡¯t he?


    Even more worry lit Trey¡¯s face as he gulped, his Adam¡¯s apple bobbing quickly. ¡°N-no.¡± He darted a glance toward me. ¡°Who¡¯s her brother?¡±


    Oren grinned. ¡°The name Noel Gamble ring a bell?¡±


    ¡°Shit,¡± Trey croaked. ¡°You mean the football quarterback?¡±


    ¡°Mmm hmm.¡± Oren hitched his face to the side, motioning toward the bar. ¡°And he¡¯s right over there, behind the bar.¡±


    We all looked¡ªTrey, his two friends, me, even Oren¡ªand yep, there was Noel watching us, his expression pissed and his arms crossed stonily over his chest in his signature disappointed big brother stance.


    The three guys Oren was intimidating whimpered, ¡°Oh shit,¡± together.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m so sorry.¡± Trey turned to me to offer his apologies, but I guess he was too worried about talking directly to me because he hesitated and promptly turned back to Oren. ¡°I¡¯ll never talk to her again. I swear.¡±


    ¡°You better not, scumbag. Now get lost.¡± When he made a dismissive motion with his chin, Trey and his friends cleared out, tripping over each other in their haste.


    My face flooded with heat. I wasn¡¯t sure if I¡¯d ever felt so humiliated in my life, like a little girl who¡¯d just been reprimanded for misbehaving.


    Oren puffed out his chest in self-congratulations. ¡°Damn that was easy.¡± He grinned at me. ¡°But what a bunch of pussies, huh?¡± Then he took a big, long swig of the beer that had been meant for me.


    As I watched him laugh and wipe his mouth with the back of his hand, my humiliation morphed into red, hot rage.


    ¡°What...the...hell?¡± I shoved him right in the chest, using both hands and trying not to notice how defined his pecs felt under my palms. So much better than Trey¡¯s had been¡ªeven though that was so not the point.


    My beer he had confiscated sloshed onto him, in his face and down his shirt.


    He leapt back, jerking the bottle upright. ¡°Easy, woman! This is my favorite shirt.¡±


    Of course it was. It said, ¡°I support single moms,¡± and showcased the silhouette of a curvy, naked woman swinging from a stripper pole.


    ¡°Do I look like I care?¡±


    He glanced up at my dry tone and lifted an eyebrow. ¡°Let me guess. You¡¯re not going to offer to wipe me dry like you did that dipshit, are you?¡±


    I shoved him again for being a total jerk and for buying such an offensive shirt. ¡°Why did you do that?¡±


    He snorted and glanced after Trey. ¡°Because the dude looked like a douche.¡±


    I rolled my eyes. ¡°Well, I obviously don¡¯t have a problem with douches. I¡¯m talking to you, aren¡¯t I?¡±


    He frowned. ¡°Harsh, Caroline. I was just looking out for you.¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I set my hands on my hips and sent him the laser-beam depth of my glare. ¡°You were cock-blocking me.¡±


    Lifting his hands in completely unrepentant negligence, he said, ¡°Fine, whatever you want to call it. He¡¯s not going to bother you again. You¡¯re welcome.¡±


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t thanking you.¡± I made a face after him as he turned away and sauntered off. ¡°You ass.¡±


    ¡°Love you, too,¡± he called back, blowing me a kiss over his shoulder. Then he took another swig of my damn beer.


    I ground my teeth, frustrated with myself for letting him get to me so much that I had such a childish response and had to add to it by sticking my tongue out at him. But he could just make me so...mad.


    As he strolled to the bar where Noel was watching us and sat on a stool, I glared after him. He and my brother spoke, and Noel glanced my way. Pointing at his own eyes, he then turned his fingers to tell me he was always watching me.


    I sent him my own sign language and flipped him off. And the entire time, Oren sat facing the bar with his back to me as he finished off my drink.


    Jerks. The both of them.


    I guess that showed me for trying to get some action while they were around. But I¡¯d come here to see Asher play; the action had been a spur of the moment thing.


    I had a bad habit of running with spur of the moment ideas. And a year ago, I¡¯d paid big time for it. It should¡¯ve taught me my lesson. But like every other Gamble I knew, I had a hard head about learning lessons.


    Needing to cool off and gather my self-control, I spun away and stalked toward the bathrooms. I waited until I was safely inside the ladies¡¯ room before I breathed again. Pressing my back to the door, I closed my eyes, glad for a moment free from Oren.

 Page 9

    Sucking in a nice, refreshing...eww! Who the hell was spraying such rank perfume?


    I opened my eyes and immediately frowned at the three ladies gathered in front of the mirrors. They just happened to be three of the very four whores¡ªI mean, fine, upstanding young women¡ªwho¡¯d been huddled around Oren mere minutes ago.


    Awesome.


    Maybe we could all get together sometime and just have us a slumber party.


    ¡°I still can¡¯t believe he picked you, you lucky bitch,¡± the girl teasing her hair complained as she puckered her mouth and studied her lipstick job.


    ¡°I know,¡± the one leaning in to examine the blackheads on her nose added before she tried to pop one. ¡°I was totally feeling this vibe between us too. I was so sure he¡¯d pick me tonight.¡±


    ¡°You just...suck,¡± muttered the third one who was, yes, still applying that awful perfume. ¡°I¡¯ve never had him before. It should¡¯ve been my turn.¡±


    Behind one stall door, a toilet flushed, and the fourth whore appeared as she opened the door. ¡°Face it, ladies. I simply rule. Ten¡¯s always preferred me.¡±


    At the mention of Oren¡ªor rather his stupid nickname everyone called him¡ªI froze and focused on her a little harder. So, she was the chosen one for this evening, huh?


    I hated her.


    I really, really hated her.


    ¡°I heard he only does it in the dark,¡± perfume girl said, her eyes wide with wonder.


    My mouth fell open. Say what? I should not be listening to this crap. So, I edged in a little closer, hungry for more.


    ¡°Mmm hmm,¡± the winner, I guess we were calling her, said. ¡°He¡¯s almost weird about it. But it¡¯s so kinky you can¡¯t really care, because, oh my God, he makes up for the lack of sight by using all his other senses.¡±


    I almost whimpered as I imagine it. Oren learning me by touch, by taste, by scent. I shivered, growing a little warm under my clothes until the winner ruined the moment by speaking again.


    ¡°If you know what I mean.¡± She smirked and wiggled her eyebrows.


    Yes, honey, we all knew what you meant. But...hell. Listening to them talk about Oren¡¯s sexual preferences was...probably really forbidden, but even as it chipped off pieces of my heart to think of him doing those things with them, it still made my stomach tighten and my entire body tingle embarrassingly.


    Stupid body.


    ¡°And it¡¯s always from behind. I¡¯ve never talked to anyone who hasn¡¯t gotten it from him doggie style.¡±


    I clamped my legs together, because hello, they were talking about my Oren...in different positions. Yes, it was disheartening to hear he had such a following that they all knew his...proclivities. I couldn¡¯t believe I was half a second from being in love with such a freaking man-whore. But damn, I still wanted him to take me from behind like that.


    ¡°I¡¯m supposed to meet him at his place at midnight tonight,¡± the chosen one announced as she began to check herself in the mirror right along with the other three, fluffing her boobs up into her cleavage. ¡°It¡¯s always so mysterious and thrilling when I go there.¡±


    ¡°He leaves his apartment unlocked,¡± pimple pincher explained to perfume girl, ¡°and you¡¯re supposed to just walk right in and down a dark hall to his dark bedroom. You never know if someone¡¯s going to jump out and grab you.¡±


    The chosen one fanned herself. ¡°And then he does jump out and grab you.¡±


    All four of them giggled and then sighed. I rolled my eyes, deciding I¡¯d had enough.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± I waved my hand to get their attention. ¡°But are you guys talking about...Oren Tenning?¡±


    Four faces turned my way. I¡¯m sure they found me lacking in my comfy blue jeans and V-neck T-shirt. I never dolled myself up. In fact, I purposely dressed down to avoid attention from the opposite sex. I hadn¡¯t really fixed myself up since the school dance last year where Sander had invited me to be his date, way back when he¡¯d still been kind and sweet. But it turned out he hadn¡¯t ever planned on taking me to that stupid dance. I¡¯d spent all the money I¡¯d scrimped together and saved over the years to buy the dress, and after two hours of beautifying myself for him, he¡¯d taken me straight to the infamous make-out spot to get lucky in the backseat of his Dodge Challenger. Not since then had I used clothes, makeup, or perfume to impress anyone.


    ¡°We sure are, honey. Do you know him?¡± Perfume girl sniffed and tipped up her face in a haughty kind of way, as if she couldn¡¯t believe I was good enough to even associate with him.


    ¡°Oh...¡± I gave her a brief, tight smile. ¡°Barely.¡± I bet I knew him a hell of a lot better than she did.

 Page 10

    I doubt she had any idea that his favorite food was chocolate mints, or that he preferred a bottle of Sunny Delight over coffee every morning to drink with his breakfast. Or that he hated spiders and loved cats. I bet she had no clue that every extra dollar he made at the nightclub where he worked went into a savings account from which he someday wanted to build his own dream home...that he¡¯d already designed himself. I bet she would never know what an extremely talented artist he was or what lengths he went to just to help his friends.


    The bitch probably knew nothing about him at all...except how he felt inside her, which, okay, was more than I knew. Damn it.


    ¡°But one of my friends...,¡± I went on, lifting my eyebrows so they¡¯d think my friend had all the carnal knowledge of him that I did not, ¡°...is still taking treatments to get over...whatever he gave her.¡±


    All four women gasped. ¡°No,¡± one said, her eyes wide.


    ¡°Oh my God. I was with him only two weeks ago.¡±


    ¡°Oh, sweetie,¡± I said with all the fake sympathy I could muster as I reached out as if to pat her arm. ¡°You really need to go get yourself checked.¡± And she probably needed to anyway, so I didn¡¯t feel bad about suggesting that at all.


    ¡°Is it herpes?¡±


    ¡°Syphilis?¡±


    ¡°AIDs?¡±


    I almost rolled my eyes. How the hell did I know which disease to choose? ¡°I don¡¯t know, but it was nasty, whatever it was. She was all red, bumpy, and itchy and...¡± I leaned in closer, lowering my voice dramatically. ¡°Yellow stuff was dripping...if you know what I mean.¡±


    My four little puppets pulled back in horror. ¡°Eww,¡± they chorused, making me want to throw my head back and cackle.


    I nodded, getting into character a little bit too enthusiastically. But hey, if Oren was going to cock-block me, I was going to vagina-block him. ¡°I know,¡± I cooed to his band of skanks. ¡°The doctor told her she couldn¡¯t safely have sex again for a whole year.¡±


    More horrified gasps followed. ¡°A year?¡±


    Damn, was I good or what?


    ¡°Well, I can¡¯t meet him now,¡± the chosen one squawked, looking panicked. ¡°What do I tell him if he¡¯s still out there whenever we leave the bathroom? I can¡¯t even look him in the eye without seeing...¡± She shuddered. ¡°No. Just, no.¡±


    Pimple popper slid her arm around her friend in comfort. ¡°It¡¯s okay, Kelly. We¡¯ll sneak you out of here. He¡¯ll never see you.¡±


    ¡°Ohmigod, thank you.¡± Kelly stepped toward me for a hug. ¡°I don¡¯t know how I could ever repay you for this.¡± She looked really grateful too. I probably should¡¯ve felt my first twinge of remorse right about then. But nope. I didn¡¯t.


    I hugged her back, glad Oren wouldn¡¯t be feeling those really big boobs pressing against his chest later on. ¡°I¡¯m just glad I warned you before it was too late.¡±


    After getting a round of hugs from the other three girls¡ªall with overly huge boobs that put my C-cups to shame when they embraced me¡ªthey hunched their shoulders together, formed a tight circle around Kelly, and hurried from the bathroom.


    I had to watch this, so I followed them out and propped myself against the back wall of the bar.


    Folding my arms over my chest, I snickered at how obvious they were about making Kelly duck down within their group and hide from him.


    But Oren was absolutely clueless to their pathetic attempts as he stood way on the other side of the room, talking to Quinn. He didn¡¯t even notice their hasty exit. But he would eventually, and that made me smirk.


    Things were about to get interesting.


    I stuck around Forbidden a while longer and watched Oren from a safe distance. He glanced toward the hall opening to the bathrooms with a slight frown a few times, probably looking for Kelly and her sidekicks, but he didn¡¯t seem all that perturbed that he never spotted her again. He just kept mingling through the crowd and talking with everyone who stopped him.


    ¡°You¡¯re being really obvious tonight,¡± Zoey said from beside me.


    I didn¡¯t even glance at her. ¡°Hmm?¡±


    ¡°With your Ten-watching,¡± she cautioned. ¡°You¡¯re not even bothering to hide it. Did he tick you off that much when he chased that guy away from you?¡±


    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m over that,¡± I said, though I wasn¡¯t. I still wanted to hurt him, not only for turning me down and then going to other women like Kelly, but for keeping me from the exact thing he would¡¯ve done with her.


    I finally glanced at Zoey. ¡°I just heard a couple girls talking about him in the bathroom earlier. My ears are still ringing from the things I learned.¡±

 Page 11

    Zoey shuddered. ¡°I can only imagine. Actually...¡± She wrinkled her nose. ¡°I don¡¯t even want to imagine. His idea of fun no doubt goes beyond what I could even fathom.¡±


    The idea of that seemed to disgust her, but it turned me on. That probably meant I was a freak. Well, yeah, I had to be a freak. I wanted Oren Tenning. That could not be normal. But still, why did I crave such dirty things? With him?


    I checked the time on my phone. Eleven thirty. If he truly meant to meet Kelly at midnight, he¡¯d have to leave soon. But he was still here. Maybe this meant he wasn¡¯t¡ª


    ¡°Yo, Ham. I¡¯m heading out.¡± He appeared out of nowhere beside me to tap the top of our table and get his roommate¡¯s attention.


    I yelped because I hadn¡¯t even noticed him moving our way. With a low growl, I scowled at him for startling me...or maybe for leaving now, because that meant he was still planning on meeting Kelly. The ass.


    He met my gaze and paused. Reading something¡ªthough I¡¯m not sure what¡ªfrom my expression, he leaned close to talk into my ear.


    ¡°What? You¡¯re not still mad at me for chasing off that little boy, are you?¡±


    I sniffed and lifted my chin. ¡°You¡¯re just as bad as Noel. I mean, you¡¯re never going let me date anyone without any kind of interference, are you?¡±


    He watched me a moment longer, his intent expression harboring all his thoughts. Then he leaned in again. ¡°How about this? If you ever find anyone good enough for you, I will step back and let you at him without even a single fuck-off glare in his direction.¡± Then he leaned even closer. ¡°Problem is, I don¡¯t think anyone will ever be good enough for the likes of you.¡±


    When he reached out slowly and caught a tendril of my hair, the achiest look entered his eyes. He studied the lock he was methodically winding around his finger, and the way he watched it was just...I knew that look and recognized it intimately. Every time I saw him, I felt it rising from my own core, wanting, yet helpless to take.


    A shudder wracked me. Once upon a time, I¡¯d told Zoey that if I knew for certain Oren really, truly liked me¡ªliked me the way I liked him¡ªI wouldn¡¯t let Noel keep us apart. And I¡¯d meant it.


    I still meant it.


    ¡°Even you?¡± I asked him.


    His eyes flashed at the question. ¡°Especially me.¡± Dropping my hair, he stepped back and straightened before he cast a quick glance toward the bar, as if testing whether my brother could see us or not. When he seemed to realize Noel hadn¡¯t spotted him touching me, he turned away and strolled off.


    I stared after him, my lips parting. And that¡¯s when I knew, or at least I convinced myself I knew. My theory wasn¡¯t a theory at all; Oren honestly did want me, and he really was an ass to me sometimes because he was trying to keep me away so he wouldn¡¯t fall into temptation and go against Noel¡¯s wishes.


    Well, screw that. My brother wouldn¡¯t have befriended Oren if he thought he was such a bad guy. And Oren had done so many good things for him¡ªwhich was another reason I¡¯d grown obsessed with him. I swear, the only reason Noel didn¡¯t want me to date his friend was because he didn¡¯t trust me not to mess my life up royally, as I had the last time I¡¯d gotten involved with someone.


    But Oren was nothing like Sander. And I wanted him. I wanted him so bad. Even suspecting that he wanted me back made my heart ache.


    It made Blaze¡¯s words echo through my head.


    ¡°Live a little, Caroline. Find yourself a man. A hot one-night stand.¡±


    A one-night stand, huh? On the heels of her echoing comment, I heard Kelly¡¯s, ¡°He only does it in the dark¡­I¡¯m supposed to meet him at his place at midnight.¡±


    ¡°He always leaves his apartment door unlocked, and you¡¯re supposed to just walk right in and down a dark hall to his dark bedroom.¡±


    As everything I¡¯d heard tonight crowded into my head, an idea formed. It was crazy. Insane. The worst idea I¡¯d ever had. But I couldn¡¯t push it from my mind.


    I shouldn¡¯t even consider it.


    Then I did, anyway.


    Seriously, though...if I arrived at Oren¡¯s place tonight at twelve o¡¯clock and entered his dark bedroom, and he really honestly always did it with the lights off, he¡¯d never know it was me. He¡¯d think I was Kelly. Right?


    My heart pounded. Yeah, that was a crazy idea. Too crazy. I was going to stop thinking it now.


    Then again, what would the harm really be? He¡¯d get his sex. I¡¯d get what I¡¯d been craving from him for months. Blaze would be happy my vagina wasn¡¯t going to dry out and shrivel up, not that I was sure why she was even worried about my vagina. But honestly, everyone would go away happy. Wouldn¡¯t they? Not even Noel could freak out over what happened because he would never be the wiser. Oren could still have me, and he wouldn¡¯t have to worry about keeping it from my brother.

 Page 12

    The sweetest part of the whole idea was that I could have exactly what I wanted, and the immature chauvinist pig who pissed me off as much as he turned me on would go away absolutely clueless. I didn¡¯t want him to know how fixated on him I was. This could be the perfect solution, which really tempted me into wondering¡ª


    Oh, hell. The entire notion was crazy. I would never in a million years actually go through with such a thing.


    Half an hour later, thousands of voices in my head shrieked. ¡°For the love of God, Caroline. What¡¯re you doing?¡±


    ¡°Shh,¡± I hissed at the annoying shits. ¡°I¡¯m doing this.¡±


    I slipped inside the front door to Quinn, Oren, and Zoey¡¯s apartment and then closed it behind me with trembling fingers. To be discreet, I¡¯d parked my sister-in-law¡¯s car that I¡¯d borrowed tonight a block down the street. And if anyone caught me inside, I already had an excuse handy. I was here to see Zoey. To talk important girl stuff. Yeah. That sounded good. And I really would talk to her if I was caught...about the fact that I¡¯d lost my ever-loving mind!


    Pausing at the beginning of the hall, I took a moment to bolster my nerve. Oren¡¯s bedroom was the first door on the right. Only ten feet away. Drawing in a deep breath, I started to step forward when an idea hit me. Scrambling, I reached under my skirt I¡¯d raced home to change into for my panties, and I peeled them down my legs.


    I know, I know. They were the nicest underwear I owned. Why was I taking them off before he could even see the goods? Well, probably because, if we stayed in the dark like we were supposed to, he¡¯d never see them anyway. And tonight, I just wanted to be bold and promiscuous. If I was really going to do this, I was going to do it right.


    Pantyless, I stopped in front of his door and lifted my palm, but instead of knocking, I set my fingers against the wood. He was on the other side of this door, waiting for me.


    Okay, fine, waiting for some other girl. But if I knocked and went inside, it¡¯d be me he took.


    A thrill raced up my spine, and butterflies danced in my stomach.


    I knocked.


    Oh my God. I¡¯d just knocked on Oren¡¯s bedroom door. What the hell was I doing?


    Without waiting for an answer, I reached for the doorknob and turned it. It was also unlocked. The hallway was dark, so he wouldn¡¯t be able to see me as I entered. And just as the girls in the bathroom had gossiped, his bedroom was unlit too.


    They¡¯d been spot-on about the spooky yet thrilling aspect of it all. I was half scared out of my mind and yet completely turned on all in the same breath. Tense with anticipation and fear, I waited for him to accost me.


    Gah, this was going to kill me.


    No, no, it was going to be like walking a tightrope, I told myself, with a nice safety net under it. Yeah, because if I changed my mind, I could just tell him who I was, and he¡¯d stop. Instantly. There was no doubt in my mind he¡¯d stop. His best friend was my big brother. If he didn¡¯t want to be murdered, he¡¯d definitely stop.


    But I was sure I didn¡¯t want him to stop, so I¡¯d have to be very careful not to let him figure out who I was. Still, that security of knowing I could halt this at any time was a nice benefit in case I did chicken out at the last moment.


    ¡°Hello?¡± I kept my tone low and husky, hoping he wouldn¡¯t recognize my voice.


    ¡°You¡¯re early.¡±


    I jumped like a startled mare before silently cursing myself. Damn, I hadn¡¯t expected him to be so close already.


    Thank God it was pitch black. He couldn¡¯t see how flighty I was.


    Accusation laced through his words and made me start to say, ¡°sorry,¡± but I stopped myself at the last second, not wanting to sound like a complete pushover. Only the s sound leaked out, making an adept impersonation of a deflating tire.


    ¡°What was that?¡± he asked, his voice even closer now. It moved through me and made my nipples bead.


    I cleared my throat as silently as possible, and pulled forth all the courage I could muster. Then I lifted my chin. ¡°I think you¡¯re the only one here we have to worry about coming too early.¡±


    He chuckled in my ear, making my nerves wrench once again because I hadn¡¯t sensed him getting quite that close. I could actually feel his breath in my hair.


    ¡°So you¡¯re going to be a smart-ass tonight, huh?¡± His voice held approval. ¡°You know what I do to smart-asses, little girl?¡±


    I didn¡¯t move but to turn my face his way. His breath shifted to my cheek, and his unique minty yet musky scent wafted up my nostrils. My belly fluttered with excitement as the cloth of his shirt brushed my bare arm. Oh...God. Maybe we did have to worry about me coming too early. Was it possible for girls to prematurely ejaculate?

 Page 13

    Shivering, I nodded to myself, bolstering my nerve. Trying to lower the pitch of my voice to disguise it and maybe make it more sensual, I said, ¡°Why don¡¯t you just show me what you do to them?¡±


    It took him a second to respond. Damn, my fake voice had sounded terrible and way too much like my own. Positive he¡¯d figured me out, I froze and waited, bracing for him to flip on the light and expose me, ruining the entire charade. My heartbeat pounded through my ears.


    But then he murmured, ¡°You got it, honey.¡± Warm fingers, strong and confident, grasped my elbow. ¡°This way.¡± He nudged me to walk in front of him, not deeper into the room toward the bed, but off to the side toward...who-knew-what.


    When I bumped into something, I huffed out a startled breath and stuck out my hands, blindly checking things out until I realized what we¡¯d encountered.


    ¡°Table,¡± I cautioned, thinking he¡¯d direct me around it.


    But, no. He bent me over it. ¡°Good. Brace your hands and spread your legs.¡±


    A lightning bolt of heat spread through me, and something deep in my womb clenched tight, aching to feel him there.


    ¡°So, it¡¯s true then?¡± I gasped, gripping the table for dear life as I widened my stance. I didn¡¯t have to do anything to alter my voice that time. It went high all on its own, because oh my God, I was opening my legs for Oren. ¡°You really do like it in the dark and from behind.¡±


    As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized I¡¯d messed up. The girl meeting him tonight had already been with him, meaning I should already know about such inclinations.


    He didn¡¯t call me on it, though, which made me frown in confusion after a second of petrified horror, waiting for him to figure it out. He merely leaned in to smell my hair. ¡°Since you still showed up, I¡¯m guessing that idea doesn¡¯t totally disgust you.¡±


    Unable to help myself, I jumped when he set his palm on my hip. The heat from his fingers scorched viciously through my dress until it had my already hard nipples tightening into oversensitive nubs.


    He paused. And I knew¡ªjust knew¡ªhe was going to figure me out, turn on the light and force Noel¡¯s misbehaving little sister from his room. But an unimaginably long breath later, he shifted his hand, sliding it around to the front of my abdomen.


    ¡°What¡¯re you so jumpy about, honey?¡± His chest pressed lightly into my back, urging me to bend over the table some more. Moving naturally with him, I shifted my legs farther apart and rested my elbows on the smooth wooden top. My palms were damp and slipped a little across the surface until I found a nice sturdy grip around the beveled edge.


    ¡°Not scared,¡± I answered. ¡°Worried...just worried you¡¯re not going to be able to get me off. I¡¯m kind of a hard nut to crack.¡± Sander had only managed to make me come once, and that had been with tongue and fingers, never his cock.


    That was so not what I was worried about with Oren, though. But it made me sound a lot less unsure about this entire thing than I felt. Made me sound confident, sexy, in charge.


    I was Caroline. Hear me roar.


    ¡°Oh, I¡¯ll get you off, sweetness. You don¡¯t need to worry about that.¡±


    He gathered my skirt up to my waist. And ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod, this was really happening. A light breeze wafted between my bare thighs. My head went light from freaking myself into a dizzy mess!


    Should I stop him?


    I should totally stop him.


    Oh God. I didn¡¯t stop him.


    Warm, slightly roughened hands gripped my legs and slid up, and yeah...we definitely wouldn¡¯t have to worry about him not being able to get me off.


    ¡°Oren,¡± I moaned, bowing my head down and biting my lip. My eager thighs quivered in delight under his caress.


    Until he stopped moving. Damn it! I really need to remember to check my voice.


    But he didn¡¯t mention that. Instead, he muttered, ¡°It¡¯s just Ten.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I blinked my eyes open and lifted my face, even though I still couldn¡¯t see a damn thing, and I wouldn¡¯t have seen him even if a light had been on since he was behind me.


    ¡°Just call me Ten.¡±


    Crinkling my brow, I said, ¡°I like Oren better.¡±


    His hands left me completely. ¡°Well, tough shit. I hate that fucking name. Only family is allowed to call me that.¡±


    Huh. Really? He didn¡¯t seem to mind when Caroline called him Oren. Did that mean he considered me family? Because I¡¯d never called him anything but that, and he¡¯d never once corrected me.


    I wasn¡¯t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe he only saw me as a sister figure. That was creepy. If he ever found out about tonight, he¡¯d be disgusted, thinking he¡¯d done his surrogate sister.

 Page 14

    ¡°Fine.¡± I straightened, refusing to voice my disappointment. ¡°I guess I¡¯ll go, then.¡± It¡¯d been stupid to think we could be anything more anyway.


    What the hell had I been trying to accomplish? Even if I¡¯d been able to sleep with him, I¡¯d still never have him, have him. Going through with this would¡¯ve led to nothing but heartbreak.


    I pushed away from him, and he fell back a step, letting me go. Angry at myself for being a complete idiot and angry at him for letting me leave so easily, I stumbled through the dark until I rammed my fingers into the door. With a pained curse, I fumbled for the knob, but when I couldn¡¯t find it within two seconds I growled out more of my frustration and flopped onto the floor in defeat, sitting with my back to the door as I cradled my head in my hands.


    ¡°What¡¯s such a big deal about saying Oren, anyway?¡± I felt sulky and yet heartbroken, realizing I still wasn¡¯t going to get the one thing I wanted most. Him.


    ¡°Because,¡± he mumbled, sounding reluctant. ¡°It¡¯s the last word to leave my sister¡¯s bloody lips before she died in my arms.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± I shuddered, my voice barely a whisper. ¡°Oh, hell.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± he murmured.


    Gulping with unease and sorrow, and shame, I wondered what I was supposed to do now. I blew out a breath and tried to control the sudden shaking in my entire frame. But what the hell? Why did he have to go and confess something like that to me? I hadn¡¯t even known he¡¯d had a sister. Shit, I didn¡¯t know he had family at all. As far as I was concerned, he could¡¯ve sprouted fully horny out the side of some Zeus dude¡¯s head.


    I covered my mouth with a shaky hand. How could I not already know about this? I¡¯d made it a point to know everything there was to know about him. I doubt Noel even knew, because my brother would¡¯ve mentioned it at some point. Right?


    Discovering it now, though, told me how much it had left him traumatized. He hadn¡¯t told anyone in our group, or I¡¯d know. That meant he still couldn¡¯t talk about it, was repressing the pain. I wondered how long ago¡ª


    ¡°So...¡± he said in a conversational tone that I swear was laced with worry. Did he regret telling me what he¡¯d just told me? ¡°I can¡¯t help but notice you¡¯re still here.¡±


    I sniffed and wiped my face, even though I wasn¡¯t crying. I just wanted to cry. A lot. ¡°Sorry,¡± I mumbled. ¡°I¡¯ll go.¡±


    But as soon as I put my hands down on the floor to push myself up, he said, ¡°I didn¡¯t say you had to go.¡±


    Shuffling in the dark told me he was coming closer. And then I swear he knelt in front of me. ¡°Shit. You¡¯re not crying, are you?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± My face heated with shame, horrified he even knew I wanted to. I felt so stupid...and small. ¡°But I am sorry. About your sister. I didn¡¯t know.¡±


    ¡°Well, no one knew, so...¡± He trailed off as if he was shrugging.


    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you ever tell anyone about it?¡±


    ¡°Because I didn¡¯t want to talk about it. Why are you still here, not-crying on my bedroom floor?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I mumbled. ¡°Because I feel like a big, stupid failure, I guess. This was my one and only chance to be with you, and I...I royally fucked it up.¡±


    I caught my breath, realizing I¡¯d slipped again. This wasn¡¯t the one and only chance Kelly¡ªwho I was still supposed to be¡ªhad gotten to be with him. Why did I keep butchering this?


    And why wasn¡¯t he catching any of my mistakes?


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t say royally.¡± His voice seemed to move closer, seemingly clueless about my failed impersonation. ¡°I mean, I¡¯m still here. You¡¯re still here. And I¡¯m not exactly hard to get.¡±


    I snorted. Yeah, he was so easy. This was only my third failed attempt to get into his pants.


    ¡°Damn. You really wanted me tonight, didn¡¯t you?¡± The idea seemed to amaze him.


    With a roll of my eyes, I sighed. He seriously couldn¡¯t be so oblivious about how much women wanted him, could he? ¡°If you could feel how wet I am, you wouldn¡¯t even have to ask that.¡±


    ¡°Well...okay.¡± He sounded as if he¡¯d just accepted an invitation. When his hand landed on my ankle, I jumped out of my skin with a started yelp.


    ¡°What the hell? What¡¯re you doing?¡±


    His fingers stole up my calf. ¡°You just told me to feel how wet you are. Invitation accepted.¡±


    ¡°No, I didn¡¯t. You know what I meant. Oren!¡±

 Page 15

    ¡°Shh,¡± he warned, reminding me I wasn¡¯t supposed to call him that. ¡°You know you want this.¡±


    ¡°Oh, good Lord.¡± I groaned and slapped a hand to my forehead. ¡°Of all the corny things to¡ª¡±


    I broke off with a gasp when Oren discovered just how wet I was.


    ¡°Holy fucking shit. You¡¯re not wearing any panties.¡± His fingers were sure but gentle as they moved between my legs, swiping through the moisture before finding my clit.


    ¡°Wait. You can¡¯t...¡± I grabbed his wrist but didn¡¯t stop him. I didn¡¯t want him to stop.


    ¡°I can¡¯t what?¡± he asked.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± I panted, my legs loosening as his thumb rolled over the most sensitive little muscle in my entire body with a merciless precision. ¡°Was I talking?¡±


    He chuckled. ¡°You really are this wet just for me, aren¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°Who else?¡± I moaned and arched up my hips. That¡¯s why I was here, why I was risking everything to be here. Learning about his sister only made me feel closer to him. I wanted to soothe his soul, tame the poor, wild, hurting boy, and experience every physical intimacy with him while I was at it.


    Even if he was only here to get off in some random chick¡ª Wait. Thinking of it that way didn¡¯t help anything.


    I squeezed my eyes closed. Could I be any more of an idiot than I was now?


    ¡°Damn,¡± he breathed. He pressed at least two fingers inside me and we both sucked in a breath. My eyes flew open as I panted through the pleasure and ground against his hand, needing more.


    He groaned. ¡°I want to smell it.¡± Abandoning my pussy to grip my hips, he tugged me away from the door and toward him. ¡°Slide this way, will you, sweetness?¡±


    Once he had me where he wanted me, he gathered my skirt up to my waist, split my legs open wider, and then gripped my ass cheeks to lift me a couple inches off the floor. A second later, his breath heated me there.


    I damn near came. ¡°Oh God. Oh God.¡±


    ¡°Fuck,¡± he gasped. ¡°You smell good. Makes me want to...taste.¡±


    The mere word had my eyes rolling into the back of my head. But then a wet heat touched me. Knowing it was his tongue¡ªhim¡ªI couldn¡¯t take it. I came hard, gasping and grabbing his hair, quivering out of control.


    What? It¡¯d been a freaking year since a male had been anywhere near there. I couldn¡¯t help it. And knowing it was Oren made it...yeah. No way was I holding that baby back.


    So, I didn¡¯t.


    And Oren lapped it up until I was an exhausted, panting mess under him. ¡°Christ, woman. You¡¯re fucking sensitive. Too sensitive. I was kind of hoping to feel you go off around me, let these sweet, tight walls here milk my cock while I thrust inside you.¡±


    When he lightly circled the opening of my pussy, I gritted my teeth and bowed up, taut and ready again.


    The movement of his finger slowed. ¡°Holy shit. Are you...?¡± As if experimenting, he slid two fingers in me. I gasped and squeezed my thighs around his wrist. ¡°Goddamn.¡± He sounded amazed. ¡°You are ready again?¡±


    ¡°I... I...¡± I wasn¡¯t sure. I was still riding the last orgasm he¡¯d given me, but I also felt like a live wire. If his cock wasn¡¯t in me within thirty seconds¡ª


    His fingers jerked free, and I cried out from the loss. ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Just...hold on. I¡¯m...damn. Fuck. Where did I put the condom?¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I sobbed, nearly in tears. If he lost his condom, I was going to hurt him. No one had riled me up like this before. I was so turned on I felt like a hair trigger. Just one more touch and I could blow...again.


    ¡°Oh yeah. I had it on the table.¡± A split second later, arms were lifting me. I was carried a few feet to the table he¡¯d bent me over before. He didn¡¯t have to say anything this time; I just slumped over it and hiked my ass into the air, beyond ready.


    The sound of his zipper lowering made me jerk. I had no idea even a sound could set things off. But when you were as turned on as I was, he could probably exhale right about now, and I¡¯d likely come. The rasp of tearing foil and the hiss of his breath as he rolled latex over his length made my thighs tremble. I bet he had his hand around himself right now. He had to be hard and pulsing, ready to enter me.


    I swallowed, unable to believe this was happening. Oren was going to put his cock inside me.


    ¡°Ready?¡±


    I shuddered, a full-body shiver from head to toe...toes that were already curling because they tingled so badly. ¡°Okay,¡± I chanted, boosting and trying to calm myself from the anticipation, all in one word. ¡°Okay.¡±

 Page 16

    ¡°Okay,¡± he echoed. He almost sounded as eager and nervous as I felt, which only synched me in with him more. So when he touched me there with the blunt head of his cock, I whimpered.


    ¡°Oh God. Please.¡±


    The head entered me and I sucked in a breath, bowing my face as I soaked in the sensation. He slowly applied pressure, filling me and stretching my womb to accommodate himself. I felt every freaking centimeter.


    ¡°Holy...fuck,¡± he gritted out, gripping my waist hard enough that his fingers bit into my skin. ¡°You¡¯re so...damn...tight.¡± He blew out a breath as he seated himself completely, all of him in all of me.


    I couldn¡¯t remember ever feeling this full with Sander. Not that I was thinking about him, but he was my only other point of reference, and I had definitely never experienced this much stretching before. Oren felt so...I don¡¯t know, huge, maybe. He was crammed in almost too tight, as if there was no room for anything else. All I could feel was him, and it was delicious and perfect and¡ª


    ¡°Oh God!¡± I yelped as he shifted ever so slightly, hitting something that shot off a spasm that consumed me entirely. ¡°Right there. Right there. You found it. Don¡¯t move.¡± I wanted to freeze this moment in all eternity and memorize the feel of him lodged deep, filling me, and consuming me. I just needed a second to appreciate the wonder¡ª


    ¡°Don¡¯t move?¡± he yelped, repeating my instructions. ¡°Are you insane? You can¡¯t let a guy into pussy heaven and then tell him not to move.¡±


    So, of course, he moved, sliding most of the way out, until I was gasping and clutching the table harder, pressing my forehead to the flat wooden surface. And then he shoved right back in.


    ¡°Oren,¡± I whimpered. Seated deep, he¡¯d felt amazing. But moving and rubbing his cock against every nerve ending in my channel was pure torture, amazing, marvelous torture. Inner muscles were quivering and contracting out of control around him. None of my previous orgasms¡ªnot even the self-inflicted ones¡ªhad ever had such an extreme buildup.


    Grabbing my hair¡ªand not too gently¡ªhe thrust again and growled into my ear. ¡°Stop...calling...me¡ª¡±


    But I was too busy coming to care what name I was shouting, so I just kept chanting, ¡°Ohmigod, ohmigod, Orrrrrennnn.¡±


    He cursed and pounded harder, pulling my hair snugger and growling out his own release as I pulsed around him, my nipples throbbing and core convulsing with every tug on my scalp.


    It was the single greatest orgasm to ever claim me...and definitely the strangest. Who knew hair pulling would get me off like that?


    After I finally stopped coming, Oren slumped onto me, making the small table wobble perilously under us. His damp chest stuck to my back and pushed my breasts forward, smashing them against the cool wood.


    Panting in my ear, he sounded sapped of all energy. ¡°Holy...fuck.¡±


    ¡°S-sorry, I...I called you Oren again,¡± I tried to say, though it was nearly impossible from the way he was squishing out any air that might¡¯ve circulated through my lungs.


    He hissed out an amused sound. ¡°I didn¡¯t mind it so much that time.¡±


    I smiled. ¡°I guess it was time to give that name a new kind of memory.¡±


    ¡°Hmm.¡± His voice went distant as if he didn¡¯t want to share such an intimacy with me.


    Making new memories was only meant to happen with friends and lovers, not strangers humping in the dark.


    That¡¯s when the first wave of queasy reality sliced through me. This hadn¡¯t meant to him what it had meant to me. In my head, I¡¯d known that all along. But now that it was all said and done, I was actually living it. He was still buried inside me, and to me, it was intimate and bonding. To him, it was empty, emotionless fucking.


    I bit my lip, forcing myself not to cry. What the hell had I just done?


    I pressed my forehead to the table a bit too hard and made it thump.


    Oren¡¯s fingers eased back into my hair. ¡°Did pulling your hair really make you come?¡±


    I¡¯m pretty sure it had been an accumulation of everything that had made me come, but the hair thing...oh yeah, my muscles quivered around his length, remembering how it had felt when he¡¯d done that. So I said, ¡°Yeah. Weird, huh?¡±


    ¡°What? Hair pulling¡¯s never turned you on before?¡±


    ¡°I...no one¡¯s actually pulled it before, you know, during...¡±


    He gave another experimental tug. My body clamped around his and we both sucked in a breath as he started growing inside me.


    ¡°Damn.¡± Once again hard enough to pull out and nudge his way back in, he groaned. ¡°I¡¯m going to need another condom.¡± But instead of leaving me, he thrust forward the next time he backed his hips away. ¡°Fuck, you feel good.¡±

 Page 17

    ¡°Oren,¡± I sobbed, my body growing tingly and tense all over again.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± he growled. ¡°Say it again.¡±


    ¡°Oren.¡±


    He reached around and pinched my clit lightly. I convulsed and started coming, calling out his name. I was barely finished when he yanked out of me abruptly.


    ¡°Wha¡ª?¡± What was he doing?


    ¡°New condom,¡± he choked. As he abandoned me completely, leaving me chilled, I straightened and rubbed my arms briskly, still coming down from the tingles seizing me.


    When I took a step from the table, I winced. ¡°Ouch. I think your table just left a permanent indention in my hip.¡±


    ¡°Poor baby,¡± he murmured, returning to me. ¡°Here. The bed will be more comfortable.¡±


    I sighed, thinking he¡¯d pull back the covers and we¡¯d climb in together and snuggle a bit, maybe finally kiss. But no. He bent me over the bed exactly as he¡¯d bent me over the table. I wasn¡¯t prepared when he entered me. The startling penetration caused me to jump. ¡°Oh God! Oren...¡±


    Moving deep and slow with each pass, he leaned into me heavily and even braced his arms on either side of me so he could press his front to my back. ¡°You know,¡± he murmured into my ear as he began to stroke his fingers through my hair. ¡°Kelly¡¯s only ever called me Ten.¡±


    I frowned, wondering who the hell Kelly was and why he was talking about her while he was inside me. I really didn¡¯t want to kill him before he could give me a fourth orgasm.


    ¡°She has short, coarse, curly locks, too,¡± he added as he continued to comb my hair with his fingers. ¡°Nothing this long, or straight, or silky soft.¡±


    ¡°Oh, shit.¡± Now I remembered who Kelly was.


    I was supposed to be Kelly.


    My mystery visitor tried to squirm out from under me, but I covered her completely, pinning her to the bed. No way was I letting her up until I drew Big O Number Four from her. So I pushed into her deeper, literally imprisoning us together. God, that felt good. The tight, wet, warm clasp of her pussy was pure nirvana.


    You wouldn¡¯t think one woman would feel all that different on the inside from another. But she did. Holy fuck, did she ever. She felt better than any other woman to let me into her body.


    I tightened my grip in her silken hair, because I needed to latch on to something and also because I loved the way it seemed to set her off. Then I began to thrust with more intensity. She gave a startled sound and panted harder, getting closer to that next orgasm I was so hungry to claim. I could tell by the clenching of every muscle in her body she only had seconds to go. When she threw her head back, I sank my teeth into the tightly corded muscles of her shoulders, reveling in her approaching explosion. She sounded good when she came. Real good.


    ¡°I knew the second you walked into this room you weren¡¯t Kelly,¡± I murmured into her ear, and then pressed my lips against her temple because the familiar scent from her hair had my balls tightening. ¡°But that¡¯s okay. I like fucking a stranger.¡±


    That was a lie, though, since fucking a stranger wasn¡¯t what I felt like I was doing at all. What I really liked was imagining she could be whoever I wanted her to be, not who she really was.


    ¡°Not knowing who you are just makes this hotter.¡± Imagining she was Caroline was what made it hotter.


    And just like that, she came. The hot little muscle squeezing my cock quivered and constricted, and I couldn¡¯t hold back. I poured into her, grinding my hips into her ass as I submerged myself as far as I could and just let it all go. She buried her face into my sheets and screamed. I felt my own moan rising, so I bit the back of her shoulder again and slid my palms up her arms until I reached her fingers where she was gripping the sheets. Then I covered her hands and clutched the sheets right along with her.


    The storm rolled through us, and I kept holding her that way long after it was over.


    I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to roll her onto her back so I could press my chest up against her tits and stamp my mouth to hers, part her lips, and wet my tongue against hers. I wanted to taste her and share our next thousand breaths together. Which scared the fucking shit out of me. Because I never wanted to kiss them. I was never this sweet and tender with them.


    And that meant I knew she was different. She was¡ª


    She wiggled under me. ¡°Get...off.¡±


    ¡°What? Ouch. Shit, woman.¡± She rammed her ass back, dislodging me from inside her, and caught me in the stomach. It didn¡¯t hurt, but it did surprise me enough to rear up. ¡°What the hell?¡±


    I reached for her, but she was a little escape artist when she wanted to be. She shot out of the bed and scrambled for the door while my seeking fingers grasped nothing but cool air.

 Page 18

    ¡°Hey!¡± I finally caught an elbow but didn¡¯t get a good enough hold because she immediately wiggled free. Her shoes clattered across the floor before my bedroom door burst open and then slammed shut. I listened to her race down the hall and slam the front door as well.


    Blowing out a long breath, I rolled onto my back and stared up at my dark ceiling, seeing basically nothing.


    What had just happened had been...yeah. That had been something else.


    I¡¯d known she wasn¡¯t Kelly immediately. The lack of giggling and constant talking had kind of tipped me off. Then she¡¯d gone and let it escape that she¡¯d never been with me before. Her mentioning rumors of me only doing it in the dark from behind let me know she had to be someone from Kelly¡¯s clique, though.


    I¡¯d been a little bored lately, you see, so I¡¯d started up this game with myself where I fucked each girl from the same group in a specific position. For example, I did all the Alpha Delta Pi sorority sisters in reverse cowgirl. Teaching majors were strictly oral. And the athlete groupies got it doggie style. That way, when they talked amongst themselves, they all realized I did them the same way, and they began to think I had some weird tick, or something.


    Not really sure why I¡¯d started up such a bizarre game with myself, but it amused the hell out of me to fuck with their heads.


    So, that¡¯s why I assumed my new midnight visitor was another football groupie... Until the first moment she¡¯d forgotten to disguise her voice or when she¡¯d said my name in that tone I¡¯d recognize anywhere.


    I¡¯d frozen solid, with my hand on her warm, bare thigh, not sure what to do and completely unable to believe Caroline was in my bedroom, bent over my table. Suddenly harder than I¡¯d ever been in my life, I shook my head, trying to deny it. I mean, no possible way could that have been Caroline¡¯s flesh that had heated my palm. Uh-uh.


    First of all, she wouldn¡¯t have the audacity. Okay, scratch that; she definitely had the nerve. That was one of the reasons I was so hot for her. She could be a gutsy little spitfire whenever she put her mind to it.


    But she wouldn¡¯t...damn, she wouldn¡¯t stroll in here posing as Kelly, would she? She¡¯d been pissed at me earlier this evening; I would¡¯ve thought she¡¯d be more likely to smash my nuts into a hand vise than give my cock the ride of its life.


    So, yeah, I had to be wrong. It hadn¡¯t been her, no matter how much her voice had sounded like Caroline¡¯s, no matter how much she¡¯d smelled like Caroline, and no matter how much she¡¯d felt as I would imagine Caroline would feel. Silky hair, soft skin, perfectly firm but malleable breasts, and the tightest, hottest pussy to ever squeeze my cock.


    Oh, shit. Had I just had my cock inside Caroline¡¯s pussy? I¡¯d definitely treated her as I¡¯d never treated a woman in the sack before, admitting that personal shit about my sister, kissing her temple, holding hands while we came together.


    But no. No fucking way. It couldn¡¯t be.


    Still...the idea of it turned me on like nothing else.


    I lay there in my bed that felt extra empty without her and I started to grow hard again, just thinking about the possibility that I might¡¯ve just had my dick in the woman I¡¯d been craving for nearly a year.


    I shuddered. No, no, no. It hadn¡¯t been her. I¡¯d only been giving her Caroline¡¯s qualities because she was the one woman I wanted more than anything and I didn¡¯t know who she really was.


    Sitting up on my mattress, I flipped on my bedside light. But no matter how fast my midnight visitor had lit out of here, she hadn¡¯t left anything behind; nothing to prove she¡¯d been Caroline, but nothing to disprove it either. I was fleetingly tempted to race after her and find out who she¡¯d really been¡ªI could probably still catch her in the parking lot¡ªbut then...did I honestly want to know?


    I ran my hands through my hair and then I squeezed my head hard, telling myself Kelly had just switched off with one of her friends this evening because...hell, who knew why. Who cared? I still couldn¡¯t get over how good it¡¯d been.


    But getting off from hair pulling? Hmm. Interesting.


    I finally got around to tossing my condom, then I flopped onto my bed, naked. I stared up in the direction of my dark ceiling, reliving every minute of my midnight visit.


    My brain was still tangled with thoughts of her the next morning...until some asshole interrupted my fond memories.


    ¡°Hey, how do you spell informative?¡±


    ¡°Hmm?¡± I grunted when Gamble kicked me under the table. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Informative,¡± he said. ¡°How¡¯s it spelled?¡±

 Page 19

    We were accustomed to hanging out on Saturday mornings; it used to be football practice morning. But with us both being seniors and the season long over, we no longer had practice to attend; we wouldn¡¯t be back next year to play. So, we¡¯d been meeting up at the local coffee shop every Saturday morning. And boring-ass old men that we were becoming, we usually did homework together.


    Yeah, I said homework. My homeboy had turned into a homework-finishing machine in the past year. It was a little embarrassing, but I went along with it because, hell, I don¡¯t know. He was my friend, and friends sacrificed for each other and did shit like homework with their buddies who¡¯d turned into pussies for the women they loved and wanted to impress with good grades. So, I sacrificed my precious Saturday mornings and did homework with my pal instead of what we used to do together, which was hit on chicks.


    I kind of missed the hitting-on-chicks era, and yet, I kind of didn¡¯t. It¡¯d gotten a little monotonous and stale lately. I don¡¯t know if it was Gam¡¯s settling down that had changed things, or something in me. Damn, maybe I was getting as old and boring as Gamble was. Shit, that couldn¡¯t be good. So, in an effort to preserve my Ten-ness, I still tried to put some effort into flirting with every girl who passed our table for the both of us, even though my heart was no longer in it.


    ¡°E, n, formative. Fuck, I don¡¯t know.¡± I sent him a scowl. ¡°Aren¡¯t you the one married to the goddamn English teacher?¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t ask her.¡± Gam stared at me as if I was whack. ¡°If she helped me out, the dick administration would know it¡¯s not my work by the quality of the writing.¡±


    ¡°Then purposely spell it wrong. Or better yet, use a dumber word you can spell and would actually use in a sentence.¡± I shook my head. What a freak.


    Gam ground his teeth and scowled. ¡°But I want to amaze Aspen and make a good grade. English is her thing; I can¡¯t suck at an English essay.¡±


    I sighed and held up my index finger. ¡°Reason number one why I will never fall for a fucking English teacher: because I refuse to pretend to like English essays.¡±


    As my buddy grumbled obscenities at me, I went back to ignoring him and chewing on my pen, wearing the end down to a mangled nub. It was still weird that he was married now. He¡¯d tied the knot with his woman on New Year¡¯s Day, three months ago.


    The moment they¡¯d repeated their vows echoed through my brain. As his best man, I¡¯d had to stand right up there with a front-row view so I could hear their words, plain as day. Up until that moment when he was pledging his life to his woman, I¡¯d done a damn fine job of not looking across them toward the maid of honor. But when Noel¡¯s clear voice started promising to love and cherish, and all that shit, I¡¯d caved in and glanced at her.


    Caroline.


    Fuck me, but she¡¯d been glancing back, and looking stunning in her maid of honor dress. So I¡¯d stared at her through the rest of the entire freaking service. If she would¡¯ve looked away first, I might¡¯ve too, but she hadn¡¯t, so there I was, screwed into staring back and getting a stiffy in the middle of a wedding because I¡¯d so desperately wanted to mount my best friend¡¯s little sister.


    ¡°Ha!¡± Gam crowed suddenly, making me jump out of my freaking skin, the douche. ¡°It¡¯s I, n, formative, you fucker.¡± He set the smartphone he was consulting on the table by his laptop and began to type, copying the spelling.


    I scowled at him. ¡°Good for you.¡± I found myself frowning at him a lot lately. But I couldn¡¯t help it; sometimes I just wanted to wring his idiot neck for so constantly telling me to stay away from Caroline. Didn¡¯t he know that forbidding me only made me want to crowd in as close as I could until I was fucking inside her?


    But thinking about being inside her made me think of last night, which made me even more irritable because I knew it couldn¡¯t have been her, no matter how much I¡¯d wanted it to be.


    I sniffed and stared at the opened page of my calculus book without seeing a fucking thing. ¡°Wow, Gam can spell. Yay.¡± My voice was dry as I lifted my fisted hands like fake pom-poms and waved them for him.


    He kicked me under the table again. ¡°Douche.¡±


    I kicked back harder. ¡°Finger banger.¡±


    ¡°Rotten crotch.¡± His shoe caught me in the shin, but I refused to flinch.


    ¡°Brown diver.¡± I slammed my heel down on the tip of his sneaker, hoping to catch his toes. Success came when he winced.


    Yes! I rule. Gamble drools.


    Rolling his tongue over his teeth, he scowled. ¡°You¡¯re not going to give up, are you?¡±

 Page 20

    I shrugged. ¡°I could do this all day, motherfucker.¡±


    ¡°What a loser.¡± He shook his head and returned to his assignment, taking the high road to maturity.


    I snorted, betting myself he¡¯d kick me again before our homework session was over.


    I was about to call him a prick when a pair of ladies passing our table cooed, ¡°Hey, Noel,¡± and then, ¡°Hi, Ten,¡± as more of an afterthought.


    ¡°Hey,¡± Noel said, not even daring to lift his face and make eye contact as he waved his pen at them in a half-hearted greeting. I waved too and watched them continue past as they got into the end of the line for a drink.


    Instead of slipping out of my chair and following the lovely ladies who¡¯d just waved at us, though, I went back to chewing on my pen and staring at my calculus assignment.


    ¡°Hey.¡± Noel kicked me again¡ªjust as I knew he would¡ªright in the soft spot on my shin that he¡¯d gotten before. Fucker hurt.


    ¡°What the hell?¡± I snapped, glaring at him. ¡°Stop kicking me.¡±


    He blinked as if my request was completely unfounded. Then he shook his head. ¡°What is wrong with you?¡±


    I hoped I didn¡¯t pale, but it felt like I did, like every ounce of blood in my face drained down to irritate the knots forming in my stomach. Then I panicked, my palms turning all cold and sweaty, and I didn¡¯t know why. But I felt instantly guilty, as if I had fucked his sister the night before. And I hadn¡¯t. I knew I hadn¡¯t, because the woman I¡¯d been inside had not been Caroline. End of discussion.


    So I scowled at the fucker for making me freak out.


    ¡°You¡¯re the one who can¡¯t keep his feet to himself,¡± I countered. ¡°What the fuck is wrong with you?¡±


    He tipped his head toward the growing line at the barista¡¯s counter. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you chase after them?¡±


    I frowned, momentarily confused. ¡°After who?¡±


    ¡°Who?¡± he repeated incredulously. ¡°Those two girls who just eye-fucked the shit out of you, man. That¡¯s who. On a normal, average day in the life of Ten, you would¡¯ve already been over there, panting and drooling by now.¡±


    I shrugged, refusing to take issue with the terms panting and drooling. ¡°They said hi to you first.¡±


    He snorted. ¡°As if that¡¯s ever held you back before.¡±


    Okay, so he might¡¯ve had a point. I glanced at the two women still gossiping together, close enough that they were touching. They looked good from the back. Nice tight asses with enough junk in the trunk to interest me. I pictured both of them together, teaming up on me. But, yeah, not even that roused me enough to leave my chair.


    I turned back to Gamble. ¡°Meh.¡±


    His mouth dropped open. ¡°What the hell? Oren Tenning does not say ¡®meh¡¯ to tits and ass. Ever. So...what the hell is up with you? Shit. Are you dying?¡±


    ¡°What? No.¡± He wouldn¡¯t stop staring at me as if he really was afraid I had cancer or something, so I hissed out a sigh and glanced around before I leaned across the table toward him. ¡°Have you ever...¡± I scanned the coffee shop again, on the lookout for spying ears. I debated whether I should say anything. But then, I told myself that it wasn¡¯t like I was really talking about his sister to him. This could be my proof to myself that it couldn¡¯t have been her last night. I¡¯d never give details to a guy about his own sister. Plus I always gave him details; he¡¯d think something was up if I didn¡¯t.


    So, I lowered my voice and continued. ¡°Have you ever gotten more turned on when you were arguing with a girl while doing her?¡±


    Gamble stared at me with his mouth open before he shook his head and blinked. ¡°Why would you argue with a girl while you were doing her?¡±


    ¡°Because...¡± I growled out my frustration and waved my hand, hoping to get him past that issue. He wouldn¡¯t understand why I couldn¡¯t stand hearing anyone but my parents or Caroline call me Oren. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter why. It just...happened. And it was hot. Really weird. But like, extremely hot.¡±


    He rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. ¡°Jesus. You would like something strange like that.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m serious, man.¡± I scowled at him hard.


    ¡°So am I.¡± He blurted out a laugh. ¡°And only you would start up an argument with a woman while you were inside her. Damn, Ten.¡± He shook his head again, but this time, he was at least grinning while he did it. ¡°You¡¯re a piece of work.¡±


    Disappointment lanced through me. I was hoping he¡¯d have experienced something at least similar before. ¡°What about hair pulling, then?¡± I pressed. ¡°You ever get your woman to come by pulling her hair while doing her?¡±

 Page 21

    Eyebrows shooting into his hairline, Gamble sniffed. ¡°As if I¡¯m going to let you know about anything that gets my woman off.¡±


    I opened my mouth to argue, but he held up a finger. ¡°Let me get this straight. You argued with some girl and pulled her hair during sex? Wow. What are you? Five?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± I muttered, growing more irritated than ever. I didn¡¯t like him bashing what might¡¯ve possibly been the best sex of my life. ¡°I¡¯m Ten. And she liked it. A lot. Like, four times within twenty minutes a lot.¡±


    Gamble pulled back, clearly impressed. He whistled between his teeth, but then his face filled with disbelief. ¡°She probably faked it.¡±


    I lifted my hands. ¡°Why fake four times? Why not just once so I¡¯d stop and leave her alone?¡±


    He shrugged. ¡°Good point, but I don¡¯t know. To make you feel better, maybe?¡±


    ¡°Whatever.¡± I rolled my eyes. ¡°She didn¡¯t fake them. Trust me. There was no way to fake this. It was...¡± I shook my head, still stunned by everything that had happened. ¡°Fucking incredible.¡±


    A knowing grin lit Gamble¡¯s face. ¡°Well, holy shit. One specific woman finally left an impression on my Ten. What¡¯d you say her name was? Anyone I know?¡±


    I winced and sucked my bottom lip in between my teeth. ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±


    He blinked. ¡°You don¡¯t know what? Her name?¡±


    With a shake of my head, I said, ¡°Nope. I do not know her name.¡±


    ¡°Well, what¡¯d she look like? Was she one of the usual football groupies?¡±


    I shrugged. ¡°Not sure.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not sure about¡­what?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure what she looked like.¡±


    He scratched at the five o¡¯clock shadow on his jaw and frowned at me. ¡°How can you not know what she looked like? How drunk were you?¡±


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t drunk at all. I just didn¡¯t...see her.¡±


    ¡°You didn¡¯t...¡± He shook his head, clearly confused. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°It was dark.¡±


    ¡°Okay, but... Wait, wait, wait.¡± He waved his hands. ¡°Start from the beginning.¡±


    So I did, telling him about my meeting with Kelly at the bar. He knew who Kelly was and how tightly corkscrewed her hair was. Then I told him about our darkened meeting plans. ¡°But the thing was, the girl who came into my room had long, straight hair that was really soft.¡± And silky. And she¡¯d smelled amazing...like Caroline.


    Gamble studied me for a good ten seconds after my story before saying, ¡°So, basically, you could¡¯ve fucked...anyone?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± I said. ¡°I guess. I mean, it was definitely a female, but other than that...yeah.¡±


    His eyes went wide. ¡°It wasn¡¯t Hamilton¡¯s woman, was it?¡±


    I started at him a moment to wait for him to grow up. Then I said, ¡°Really?¡±


    He shrugged. ¡°Well...it¡¯s not an impossible suggestion. She lives in the same apartment as you and has long, straight hair. What if she got up in the middle of the night, and¡­I don¡¯t know, used the restroom and was so tired when she came out, she mistakenly walked into the wrong room and crawled into bed with the wrong roommate.¡±


    I stared at Gam, sure he¡¯d lost his mind.


    He snapped. ¡°What? It¡¯s not that unreasonable of an idea.¡±


    ¡°Yes, it is! Because it sure as hell was not Blondie.¡± Even though, okay, the body type and hair did kind of match. Oh, shit. It hadn¡¯t been Blondie, had it? My stomach roiled. Quinn would never forgive me if I accidentally¡ª


    ¡°Wait. No.¡± My shoulders slumped in relief. ¡°It couldn¡¯t have been her. She kept calling me Or¡ªby my first name. So, the chick definitely knew who was doing her, which totally cancels out your theory that Ham¡¯s woman accidentally crawled into bed with me and screwed the wrong guy. Twice.¡±


    ¡°Hmm. Yeah. I guess.¡± He continued to think about it before saying, ¡°But did the girl realize you didn¡¯t know who she was?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± I sat forward again, lowering my voice. ¡°That¡¯s the strangest part. It totally spooked her when I told her I knew she wasn¡¯t Kelly. She actually wanted me to think she was someone else. She even tried to buck me off and stop when I told her. And we hadn¡¯t even finished round two yet.¡±


    ¡°Wait. You told her during sex?¡± Gamble gasped out. ¡°And holy shit. It wasn¡¯t even the first round? Can you possibly say anything else more bizarre right now?¡±

 Page 22

    Yes. I think it might¡¯ve been your sister.


    But, yeah, I didn¡¯t say that shit. I freaked myself out for even thinking it. So I blew out a breath. ¡°It was the best fucking sex of my life.¡±


    I was able to admit that.


    Gamble snorted. ¡°And you still don¡¯t know who she was?¡±


    I shook my head, not sure if I wanted to know. Yeah, I¡¯m pretty sure I didn¡¯t want to know. Because if it¡¯d been who I wanted it to be, I¡¯d be seriously fucked. And if it hadn¡¯t been who I wanted it to be, I¡¯d be seriously...disappointed. ¡°She lit out of there like her tail was on fire as soon as we finished. I¡¯m telling you, she didn¡¯t want me to know her identity.¡±


    But that idea didn¡¯t faze my friend. ¡°Well, I don¡¯t really blame the poor girl there,¡± he said with an obnoxious grin. ¡°If I were a woman who had a thing for you, I¡¯d be too humiliated to let anyone¡ªeven you¡ªknow about it.¡±


    ¡°Fucker.¡± It was my turn to kick him under the table.


    He rolled his eyes as if he was way past such childish antics. ¡°So, it was the best sex of your life, and you¡¯ll never be able to get a repeat because you have no idea who to go to for night two. Nice, man. Way to fuck yourself over.¡±


    ¡°Oh, shit.¡± I fell back in my chair, staring at him with my mouth open. ¡°You¡¯re right.¡±


    I¡¯d never get to fuck that mystery woman again.


    Not cool.


    ¡°Hey, guys.¡± A breathless Hamilton interrupted us by pulling out the free chair between us and slumping down with an exhausted pant.


    Since he was only a sophomore, he still attended the team¡¯s Saturday morning training sessions. Decked out in sweats and a T-shirt with his face shiny red with exertion and his hair wet from a recent shower, he¡¯d obviously come straight from practice.


    ¡°What¡¯d I miss?¡± he asked.


    Gamble snickered, and I knew he was going to say something I¡¯d have to beat his ass for a split second before he asked, ¡°Hey, your woman didn¡¯t get up in the middle of the night last night to, I don¡¯t know...get a drink or go to the bathroom or anything, did she?¡±


    ¡°Jesus,¡± I muttered, tipping my head back and squeezing my eyes shut. He just had to go there, didn¡¯t he?


    ¡°Uh...¡± Confusion clouded Ham¡¯s voice as he glanced between the two of us. ¡°I don¡¯t think so. Why?¡± His gaze settled on me before moving back to Gam.


    ¡°Because Ten here had a midnight visitor in his room. Some chick came to him in the dark, fucked his brains out, then ran out before he could get her name or even see her face, and he has no clue who it was.¡±


    I ground my teeth at the vulgar way he put it. Which was strange, because on any other occasion, I would¡¯ve phrased it pretty much the same way. But since I was picturing her with Caroline¡¯s qualities, it suddenly didn¡¯t seem so funny to say it like that.


    Hamilton¡¯s eyebrows crinkled in confusion before they shot straight up into his hairline. He whirled to me with an incredulous glance. ¡°And you think it was Zoey?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I lifted my hands in immediate surrender. I mean, I wasn¡¯t puny by any stretch of the imagination. But Ham was huge, and I was pretty sure he could take me if I offended his woman in any way. ¡°I know it wasn¡¯t her. And I never thought it was. That asswipe over there came up with that idea all on his own.¡±


    Ham zipped his stern glare to Gamble.


    ¡°Whoa,¡± Gamble said, lifting his hands too, but laughing as he did so. ¡°I was just fucking with you guys. Jesus. Who would¡¯ve been your first guess?¡±


    ¡°Some football groupie,¡± Hamilton said immediately.


    Caroline, I didn¡¯t say at all.


    I groaned into my hands before dropping them from my face. ¡°The fact of the matter is, I have no idea who Miss Midnight Visitor was, and I¡¯m sure I never will. So let¡¯s just drop it already. Okay? Good.¡±


    Knowing I was never going to dip my wick in that sweet honeypot was beginning to irritate me.


    Jesus, why was everything irritating me today?


    Ham and Gam glanced at me. Then they glanced at each other. When they gave one another a knowing grin, I rolled my eyes. But God...damn. I missed the days when all my friends had been as single and available as I was. Now that they were all pussy whipped, they seemed to think I should be too, like fucking one woman for the rest of my life was such a grand, amazing thing.


    Dear God. The horror. Unless maybe that one woman felt like the woman last night had felt. Then maybe¡ªnah. I shuddered at the thought, and leaned forward to pay attention to my calculus book. ¡°Coach still lining you up as the first-string quarterback next year?¡± I asked Ham.

 Page 23

    He cleared his throat, glanced at Gam, and then nodded. ¡°Yeah.¡±


    Gamble had been the star QB of our team until he¡¯d broken his collarbone on the second to last game this last year. So Hamilton had needed to step in and bring us the rest of the way to the national championships. We all knew it bothered Gamble because he hadn¡¯t been able to play that last game, and he¡¯d lost his shot to try out for the pros. Even though he said he was happy settling down here with his woman and taking care of his three younger siblings¡ªwhom he¡¯d taken away from his mother after she practically abandoned them¡ªwe knew it bugged him.


    ¡°Aspen find a job yet?¡± Ham asked him, hopefully.


    When Gam looked up, we knew she hadn¡¯t from the tightening in his jaw. ¡°No,¡± he muttered.


    She¡¯d been unemployed for going on a year now, ever since she¡¯d been fired for starting a relationship with him. Which brought up another sore issue with Gamble. He felt like a personal failure every time she applied for a new job and wasn¡¯t hired. But then he wouldn¡¯t even let her apply for jobs that he found ¡°beneath¡± her. If their money was as tight as I knew it had to be, you¡¯d think he¡¯d just suck it up and let her be...well, whatever, for a while. But nope. He stayed stubborn. And she knew how much it would bother him if she ¡°lowered¡± herself, as he called it, so she stayed unemployed and they just kept scrimping along. And I kept pretending it was my turn to pay for all our Saturday morning drinks at the coffee shop. And Gamble just kept letting me.


    I knew Caroline offered him money on a regular basis. She¡¯d gotten a little nest egg last year¡ªthough I never learned just how many eggs¡ªafter she¡¯d gotten involved with that rich prick from her hometown and his parents had paid her off. But Gamble adamantly refused to touch a cent of that money.


    I think each and every one of his rejections tore off a piece of her soul and left her bleeding a little more each time. She¡¯d gone through a lot of bad shit to get that money; she should get to spend it however the fuck she wanted to. And if she wanted to help her family with it, her big brother should let her. That was one of the reasons she¡¯d taken it in the first place...because of Gamble and their two younger brothers.


    Gamble forcing her to spend it on no one but herself killed a part of her, and sometimes, I just wanted to wrap my hands around his throat and shake some sense into him, force him to accept some of her money already. It would¡¯ve made her happier.


    But I had no business in their family affairs, and I knew better than to butt in, no matter how many times I watched Caroline stiffen her spine, lift her chin and try to keep the pain from her eyes whenever he refused her help. The too-proud, stubborn ass.


    ¡°I think I¡¯m going to change my major,¡± Gamble spoke up suddenly.


    ¡°What?¡± Hamilton and I glanced at him in unison.


    He nodded. ¡°Aspen and I have been talking, and...business administration isn¡¯t my thing. I know I won¡¯t ever go pro, but I miss the football field. That¡¯s where I belong. So, I¡¯m thinking...I¡¯m going to enroll again next year and get a teaching certificate, maybe become a coach.¡±


    While Hamilton nodded, letting him know what a great idea that was, my jaw dropped. ¡°What?¡± I couldn¡¯t be the only one of us three graduating and moving off to find a real job. I was the least mature of our group, the perpetual college party boy. I didn¡¯t want to be the first to grow up.


    Gam shrugged and sent me a solemn glance. ¡°Since Pick¡¯s raised my wages at the bar, we¡¯re doing...okay. We can make it for another two years until I graduate, and Caroline already has money for college taken care of, so I don¡¯t have to worry about her. I seriously think it¡¯s for the best if I did this.¡±


    ¡°Well, fuck.¡± Now I really felt crappy. Not only had I had the best sex of my life and had just realized I¡¯d never have it again, but now I was hearing that I¡¯d be moving off while all my friends would remain here together...without me.


    That shit just wasn¡¯t right.


    The second semester of my freshman year at ESU was drawing to a close in a month. A month. I would turn nineteen a week after the last day of class, I had a minimum-wage job cleaning an insurance office downtown after hours, and I¡¯d just tricked the asshole of my dreams into having sex with me.


    Yeah, I was a complete mess.


    The soreness between my legs was the first thing I felt when I opened my eyes the next morning. Which flooded my head with flashbacks of the night before. Oren¡¯s hand running up my thigh. Oren¡¯s teeth digging into the back of my shoulder. Oren¡¯s cock making me come all over his room. I shuddered and clamped my legs together as I hugged one arm over my tingling breasts.

 Page 24

    Well, I¡¯d been curious what he¡¯d be like. And I¡¯d gotten my curiosities appeased.


    But now I ached for seconds.


    ¡°Way to go, Caroline?¡± I muttered aloud. Way to not get him out of my system but to embed the craving for him even further into my soul.


    Studying the ceiling of my room, I blew out a slow breath. The sheetrock was painted white and had a delicate-looking ceiling fan hanging directly over my bed. There wasn¡¯t a hole or even a water stain of an approaching hole in sight. This was the best ceiling of the best bedroom I¡¯d ever had. It was my room alone, too. I didn¡¯t have to share it with my two younger brothers, who rolled over constantly at night and always managed to jack me in the face with an arm or elbow.


    It was all mine.


    The trailer house we¡¯d lived in before really couldn¡¯t even be classified as a home. The morning Noel had arrived on our front steps and seen how we were surviving, he¡¯d bundled the three of us up and brought us all back to college with him. I hadn¡¯t seen my worthless mother once since then.


    Though I knew how much Aspen and Noel squeezed and budgeted to keep us here and cared for, everything I had in Ellamore was a million times better than what I¡¯d had back home. My big brother was my personal savior. He¡¯d saved me in more ways than one by bringing me here.


    And how had I repaid him? I¡¯d slept with his best friend.


    There went my sister of the year award.


    With a little whimper of guilt, I squeezed my eyes closed and rubbed a hand over my aching forehead. I was so conflicted about last night. I think I was every contradiction in the book. Ashamed and yet thrilled. Scared I¡¯d be discovered, but then totally comforted to know how good it felt to be held in Oren¡¯s arms. Satiated by everything he¡¯d given me last night, while hungry for more. Anxious to see him again, but totally horrified by the same idea. Guilty and elated, depressed but ecstatic, wide-awake yet exhausted by my whirling thoughts.


    Knowing I could lie here all day and worry myself into a freaking panic attack, I threw off my covers and climbed out of bed. The first three months I¡¯d been here, I¡¯d been a hollow shell. I hadn¡¯t left my room unless I was forced to, and that had been miserable. It hadn¡¯t been until I¡¯d started college and met Zoey, and Reese, and Eva and just all of Noel¡¯s crew that I¡¯d really started to live again. But I remembered what it felt like to want to burrow under my covers every day, all day, and just wilt away.


    That was the main reason I wasn¡¯t going to stay in bed and think about what I¡¯d done.


    I¡¯d already done it, anyway. There were no take backs now.


    But as I took a shower and rubbed soap over me, my tender body just wouldn¡¯t allow me to let it go. I would never forget it. My breasts pebbled and my core swelled with lust.


    I wasn¡¯t big on masturbation. I thought Sander¡¯s dumping me had killed everything sex-related in my life. It wasn¡¯t until Oren¡¯s presence slowly made me awaken to my desires that I¡¯d ever touched myself in the first place...months and months ago. And the only time I ever did was when I thought of him. Like I was now. Except now I knew what it felt like to really be with him.


    Oh God. How could he turn me so wanton? I¡¯d never felt needs this strongly before he¡¯d come along. I kind of liked it, but then it also scared me. What if I turned into my mother who ignored her own children in favor of finding the next dick to fill her? What if¡ª


    Damn it. Liking sex with one guy did not make me my mother. Touching myself in the shower did not make me my mother.


    I pressed my back against the shower wall and rubbed myself with one hand as I pinched an inflamed nipple with the other. Water streamed over me and I pretended it was his hands, touching me everywhere. Just when my thighs trembled and my pussy clenched, preparing to come hard, a pounding fist on the bathroom door obliterated my ecstasy.


    ¡°Jesus Christ, Caroline! How long are you going to be? I gotta take a shit.¡±


    ¡°Damn it, Brandt,¡± I yelled back. ¡°I¡¯m almost done.¡± Or more accurately, I wasn¡¯t going to finish at all now. Little butt licker had killed a perfectly good moment. ¡°Grr.¡± I rinsed and snapped off the water.


    There were three bedrooms and two baths in this house, but sometimes, I still felt as cramped as we¡¯d been at the trailer park back home. Finding a better-paying job and moving out on my own was looking better and better each day. Noel would freak and fight me the entire way¡ªhe was still overprotective and worried about me¡ªbut he was no longer my legal guardian, so I guess I didn¡¯t need his approval.

 Page 25

    I just wanted it.


    After totally disappointing him last year, I still craved his absolute love and acceptance of me.


    More impatient knocking came as I wrapped a towel around my breasts.


    ¡°I really, really gotta go,¡± my fourteen-year-old brother whined.


    With a sigh, I slung my hair up in a towel turban and then yanked the door open to glare out at my brother who¡ªack, was taller than me now. When the hell had he grown so much?


    He glared right back.


    I arched an eyebrow and waited for him to step out of my way so I could exit and let him in. ¡°Why couldn¡¯t you use Noel and Aspen¡¯s bathroom if you had to go that bad?¡± They had a private bath connected to their bedroom, and it was like ten times nicer than this one.


    ¡°Because Aspen¡¯s already in there.¡± Brandt knocked me aside as he bulldozed inside.


    I huffed out an indignant breath and stepped into the hall, shutting the door behind me because I had a feeling he wasn¡¯t going to wait for me to leave before he started his business. Disgusting, I know. Made me wish for the bajillionth time that I had three sisters instead of three brothers.


    After I retreated to my room to change into clothes for the day and brush my hair dry, I made my way toward the kitchen, where Aspen was up and fixing breakfast. I stopped in the doorway and watched her, realizing I actually did have a sister now, didn¡¯t I?


    She was nothing like Noel; I wasn¡¯t even sure how they found a reason to hook up in the first place, but you could tell from the intensity of their love when they were together, none of that mattered. So, to each their own, I guess.


    I was just glad Noel had fallen for and managed to keep her, because she was an absolute godsend. She¡¯d taken all four of us Gamble siblings into her home and let us crowd into everything until we¡¯d completely rearranged her entire life. And she seemed freaking thankful about it, like she was actually pleased to have us ruin all her neat, orderly plans.


    As if sensing my presence, she glanced over her shoulder and jumped. ¡°Oh! Good morning, Caroline.¡± She sent me the sweetest smile as she carried a pitcher of juice to the table. ¡°Breakfast is almost ready.¡±


    When two halves of a bagel popped up from the toaster, I moved toward it to spread on some of Colton¡¯s favorite strawberry cream cheese.


    ¡°Thanks,¡± Aspen said. ¡°You didn¡¯t have to do that.¡±


    I tucked a piece of damp hair behind my ear and shrugged. ¡°It¡¯s fine. I don¡¯t mind.¡± Honestly, I wanted to feel more useful than I usually did around here.


    A year ago, I¡¯d taken care of most of Colton¡¯s and Brandt¡¯s needs. Back home, I¡¯d been the one to feed them, wash their clothes, make sure they took baths, and purchase all their necessities. But as soon as we¡¯d moved here, Aspen had seamlessly taken over all those duties. I hadn¡¯t been in any shape at the time to do them myself, so I hadn¡¯t balked. And because of it, I¡¯d backslid so much in the last year, I think I¡¯d actually become less independent than I¡¯d ever been.


    I know that was crazy, but it just highlighted how much of a mess I was.


    Still feeling awkward about doing kitchen stuff while Aspen was there too, I scraped on the cream cheese as fast as I could and carried the bagels to the table where Aspen already had everything set out for four people. I glanced at the empty spot where Noel usually sat. No plate or cup or silverware lay in his spot, which told me exactly where he was.


    ¡°Is Noel at the coffee shop again with¡ª¡±


    ¡°The guys,¡± Aspen finished for me with a smile and roll of her eyes. ¡°I don¡¯t know why he feels as if he has to go there to work on his English assignments. It¡¯s not like I stand over his shoulder and correct his grammar or anything.¡±


    I snickered, because that¡¯s almost exactly what she¡¯d done this year every time Brandt or Colton or I had worked on anything involving English homework. But we younger Gambles had actually appreciated it and gotten awesome scores because of it. And Aspen really did thrive on sharing her knowledge on the subject. So it was a win-win for all of us. Noel was the only stubborn ass who didn¡¯t want any involvement from her. I think that hurt her feelings as much as it tickled her. She knew how much he wanted to impress her with his own work.


    Seating myself in my spot at the table, I chewed on my lip, still eyeing Noel¡¯s vacant place. It felt weird knowing he was with Oren right now. What if Oren¡ª Oh God. Of course Oren would tell him about last night. Oren was exactly the kiss-and-share-with-everyone type.


    Fudge nuggets. My own brother was going to know every kinky, delicious thing I¡¯d done. If Oren told him about the hair pulling, I was going to absolutely die. Why hadn¡¯t I thought about this possibility until just now?

 Page 26

    Probably because I¡¯d been too worried about getting my first taste of Oren Tenning. Nothing else had mattered. Not my pride, my common sense, my sanity, my brother. Nothing.


    There was no way Oren could find out who I was now. This was so freaking embarrassing. And I had no one to blame but myself.


    ¡°Aspen! Aspen,¡± Brandt hollered, dashing into the kitchen with the morning¡¯s newspaper rolled up and tucked under his arm. He skidded to a halt in front of her in his socks as he lifted and waved the newspaper roll. ¡°You¡¯ll never guess what?¡±


    ¡°What? Are you okay? Where¡¯s Colton?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s fine. We¡¯re all fine. This is...something totally different.¡± Brandt shooed away her concerns before he flicked off the rubber band holding the newspaper together and opened it across the top of the table and right over my breakfast plate. ¡°Sarah just texted me with the news.¡±


    ¡°What news?¡± I asked, curious to know what he was babbling about.


    Aspen, on the other hand, must not have a curious bone in her body. She gave a soft smile and sat one hand on his shoulder and the other on her heart. ¡°You know, I think it¡¯s so amazing that you¡¯ve befriended Mason¡¯s little sister.¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Whatever.¡± Totally distracted, the fourteen-year-old waved her quiet. ¡°Check this out.¡± He flipped pages until he came to a listing of obituaries. Then he paused and pointed. ¡°There. That guy.¡±


    Aspen and I leaned in. ¡°Roger Martin Rowan?¡± Aspen read slowly, her eyebrows pinching in confusion. When she glanced at me, I shook my head, letting her know I had no idea who he was either.


    ¡°Yes!¡± Brandt announced proudly, his grin spreading from ear to ear. ¡°He¡¯s dead.¡±


    ¡°Umm...¡± Aspen blinked and glanced at me again. I shrugged, still clueless why it was such good news to see someone dead.


    I arched my brother a dry look. ¡°Yeah, we kind of got that part...because of the whole obituary thing.¡±


    ¡°He was an English teacher at Ellamore High School,¡± Brandt said, rolling his eyes as if that was obvious to us, which it might¡¯ve been if we¡¯d actually read his obituary. But we hadn¡¯t. ¡°Sarah said she was scheduled to take his class next year when she pre-enrolled for high school.¡±


    Aspen cooed sympathetically. ¡°Oh, no. Did she know him well? Poor Sarah.¡±


    Brandt¡¯s shoulders slumped. He sighed and shook his head. ¡°She¡¯d never met the guy before in her life. That¡¯s not the point.¡±


    ¡°Then what¡¯s the point?¡± I demanded, tired of him not getting to one already.


    ¡°The point is that they¡¯re going to need a new fucking English teacher there next year.¡±


    ¡°Brandt.¡± Aspen instantly frowned. ¡°Language, please. I know your older brother curses all the time, but you can¡¯t just go around talking like that in...¡± Her scolding trailed off as his words seemed to finally take root in her brain. ¡°Wait. Did you just say¡ª¡± She snagged the paper and brought it closer to her face to read Roger Martin Rowan¡¯s obituary in more detail. ¡°Oh my God,¡± she murmured, lifting her gaze from the printed words. ¡°There¡¯s going to be a new opening for an English teacher at the Ellamore High School next year. There¡¯s going to be an opening for an English teacher!¡±


    The paper went flying as she literally jumped up and down. I¡¯d never seen her hop before. It was kind of strange but really amusing. Then she snagged Brandt and hugged him into a happy circle. After that, she pulled me from my chair to envelop me into her excited arms.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to get this job,¡± she declared, looking so certain and jubilated that I felt my own excitement rising for her. ¡°I have to get this job. It¡¯s like...I think it was meant to be. Oh my God. I feel so awful. But I¡¯ve never been so happy to see someone die before.¡± Tears began to stream down her face. I¡¯m not sure if they were from guilt, excitement, jittery nerves or maybe a mixture of all three.


    Clearly overwhelmed, she babbled and sobbed some more. ¡°I need to...I need to update my resume. Oh my God. I don¡¯t even know what I did with my interview suit. Excuse me. I should...¡±


    ¡°Go.¡± I laughingly waved her from the room, and she followed my instruction without hesitation.


    Brandt and I grinned at each other, and all the irritation I¡¯d felt at him for killing my shower orgasm melted away. I kind of wanted to give him a hug for making Aspen so happy.


    ¡°So, what¡¯re the chances that she¡¯ll actually get the job?¡± he asked.

 Page 27

    I scowled because he suddenly sounded too serious. ¡°Oh, she¡¯ll get it. She¡¯s like overqualified. She has to get it.¡±


    He moved in close, not only serious now, but worried-looking. ¡°Yeah, but what if they¡¯ve heard some of the rumors about her and Noel?¡±


    I straightened, shocked senseless by the question. ¡°You know about that?¡± I had no idea he knew about that.


    With a snort, he rolled his eyes. ¡°I¡¯m fourteen, not stupid. Of course I know she was fired because of him. I was there when her old boss came to his hospital room after he broke his collarbone and threatened to expose them. Remember?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but...¡± I sighed. He was right; he was fourteen, not a little kid anymore. Shit yeah, he understood what was going on, and he knew exactly how much trouble dating a student had gotten Aspen into.


    ¡°Well, even if they do somehow, miraculously catch wind of it, maybe it won¡¯t be such a big deal since she ended up marrying the student she had an affair with. Besides, they were both legal adults, and...and it had been at the college level. I mean, come on. Surely they¡¯d know she wouldn¡¯t do anything like that with a piddly high school kid.¡±


    ¡°Hey.¡± He lifted his hands in offense. ¡°I¡¯m going to be one of those piddly high school kids, thank you very much.¡±


    ¡°Exactly,¡± I said. When he punched me lightly in the arm, I laughed. ¡°Honestly, if they don¡¯t hire her...then we¡¯ll just have to kill off another English teacher somewhere else to get her another opening.¡±


    Aspen was a Gamble now, and we Gambles looked after our own...at least this generation of Gambles did. We weren¡¯t above stooping to devious measures to get what we wanted, either. We wouldn¡¯t honestly commit murder for Aspen, no, but we did appreciate the power of a good lie.


    After all, one well-placed lie had gotten ¡°Kelly¡± away from Oren¡¯s bedroom last night so I could take her place.


    I swallowed nervously, letting my mind wander back to him. I wondered what he thought of his Kelly impersonator. I wondered¡ª


    ¡°Oh, yeah. I like the way you think.¡± Brandt¡¯s voice snapped me back to the present. Holding a fist up for me to bump, he nodded his approval. ¡°I¡¯ll come up with a way to take out the next teacher...if we have to.¡±


    I clashed my knuckles with his. ¡°Just don¡¯t make it too bloody.¡± He knew I had an aversion to blood.


    He laughed and started talking about different poisons and ways to ¡°accidentally¡± electrocute someone. I shook my head, wondering how boys got into such gory things so much. I¡¯d grown up around it, so I was used to it by now, but still. I could never think up some of the strange shit that had at one time or another entered all three of my brothers¡¯ heads.


    Brandt and I were halfway through our breakfast when Colton finally stumbled into the room, rubbing his bleary eyes and yawning.


    ¡°Morning, sleepyhead,¡± I called to the nine-year-old.


    I was continually stunned by how much he¡¯d grown in the last year. He¡¯d been a frail waif of a thing back home, and he¡¯d gotten sick a lot. I¡¯d been worried about him making it to ten. But ever since we¡¯d moved here, he¡¯d bloomed. Under Aspen¡¯s guiding influence, he¡¯d become so healthy and happy, I started to think he might end up being the biggest Gamble brother of the three.


    Which just went to show how awful I¡¯d been about taking care of him. And Brandt too. Brandt hadn¡¯t gotten one black eye from being in a fight since we¡¯d come here, whereas he¡¯d gotten in them constantly back home. I must¡¯ve had the worst motherly instincts ever to let the three of us fall to such depths.


    Noel liked to reassure me and tell me that I¡¯d done a fine job, that compared to our mother, I¡¯d been amazing. But the truth remained, he was so much better at being a caretaker than I¡¯d ever been.


    That was another reason I wanted to impress my big brother. I¡¯d felt as if I¡¯d failed him. If only I¡¯d taken better care of Brandt and Colton, he wouldn¡¯t have had to rearrange his entire life to scoop us up and move us to Ellamore with him.


    As much as I blamed myself for that, Colton didn¡¯t seem to hold it against me, though. After glancing around, probably looking for Aspen¡ªhis first love¡ªhe padded over to me and crawled into my lap. He was getting way too big for me, but I didn¡¯t care. I curled my arms around him and cuddled him close as I slid his waiting bagel and favorite strawberry cream cheese over to sit before us.


    ¡°I had a nightmare last night,¡± Colton told me, his voice accusing. ¡°But you weren¡¯t in your room.¡±

 Page 28

    It was both a headache and flattering that he came to me in the middle of the night when he had a bad dream. While Brandt, who shared a room with him, might adamantly refuse to let his younger brother crawl into his bed with him, I¡¯m sure Aspen wouldn¡¯t have kicked him out if he¡¯d gone to her. But he always sought me. Probably because he was still a bit intimidated around Noel, and Aspen slept beside Noel. Still...I liked knowing he continued to need me in some capacity, even though letting him hog my bed, because he usually slept right against me with an arm or leg draped over me, was never comfortable.


    Across the table, Brandt lifted his eyebrows. ¡°Oooh, big sister wasn¡¯t home late last night? Where¡¯d you go, huh, Caroline?¡±


    I rolled my eyes and commanded myself not to blush. ¡°I went out with Zoey to listen to the band at the club. Duh.¡± And then I¡¯d turned into a devious, dirty slut who¡¯d hooked up with Noel¡¯s best friend.


    Yeesh.


    I cringed, and all-too-smart Brandt seemed to realize I wasn¡¯t telling the entire truth.


    ¡°Mmm hmm,¡± he murmured as if he knew better. ¡°Whatever.¡±


    I made a face at him and then smoothed Colton¡¯s hair across his forehead before kissing his temple. ¡°What¡¯d you dream about, honey bear?¡±


    ¡°Mama.¡± His soft confession had both Brandt and me sitting up straighter. Brandt even stopped chewing. ¡°She showed up and took us away from here.¡± Colton shuddered and tucked his face against my chest. I tightened my arms around him and nearly dropped a tear or two. But it didn¡¯t pass my notice that my own brother was terrified of our mother. It¡¯d been just as long since he¡¯d seen her as it had been for me, but I guess the fear of being forced to move back there still clung to him.


    ¡°You don¡¯t ever have to worry about that happening,¡± I said. ¡°Aspen and Noel are your legal guardians now. And even if Daisy showed up and wanted you, she couldn¡¯t have you without going through them and an entire courtroom. And not without going through me either.¡±


    ¡°And me too,¡± Brandt spoke up. ¡°We don¡¯t have to worry about her ever again. Okay, bud?¡±


    Colton nodded, but I could tell the nightmare had left him rattled. A shiver passed up his spine. I began to rub his back and he kept his cheek on my shoulder. My earlier idea of maybe moving out soon moved to the back of my mind.


    Maybe I wasn¡¯t such an expendable member of the family after all. Maybe there was something worthwhile about me, and Noel would regain some of the confidence he used to have in me. But one thing was certain; to accomplish that, I could never let him find out what I¡¯d done with Oren...even if I did kind of want to do it again.


    I stayed away from him for as long as I possibly could. Really, I did! But there was just something about Oren Tenning that kept me going back for more. I liked how he¡¯d been all sweet and nice to me when we¡¯d first met a year ago, but then, I also liked how he¡¯d turned into a loud-mouthed smart-ass later on, even more. The only thing I never liked was his constant horny attention to other women. That, I could live without.


    My obsession was the antithesis of healthy, but then, I¡¯d never been known for following the healthy, correct path, had I?


    By five that evening, I was craving him like a junkie tweaking for her next hit. I knew Noel had to work tonight¡ªI¡¯d heard him mention it to Aspen earlier today. And Asher would no doubt be on the clock. He liked to work on Saturdays since they¡¯d become karaoke night, and anything to do with music at the club was his brainchild. But Saturdays had also become so crowded lately they now needed three bartenders instead of their regular two.


    I copped a peek at Noel¡¯s work schedule and, yep, Oren worked this evening.


    That meant I needed a reason to visit the Forbidden Nightclub.


    I chewed on my lip, panning through the options I gathered in my head. I couldn¡¯t go alone; Noel would definitely know something was up. Damn, why did he have to work tonight, too?


    I shook my head, shrugging off that little obstacle. It was fine if Noel was working. What was one more challenge to overcome to get what I wanted? Wasn¡¯t like I was going to just jump Oren right there at the bar, anyway. I still didn¡¯t want him to know I was the woman he¡¯d been with the night before.


    I just needed to see him, and it made no difference if my brother was around for that or not. But it did mean I needed someone with me¡ªa wing-woman¡ªor Noel might get suspicious. So I dialed up my trusty best friend.


    Zoey answered on the third ring. ¡°Hello?¡± She sounded a bit breathless, making me wonder what exactly I¡¯d interrupted.

 Page 29

    I winced. Great. Oren working meant Zwinn had the apartment they shared with him all to themselves for the evening.


    Well, they¡¯d just have to get their snuggle time on some other night. They already had their happily ever after; they had the rest of forever to be together.


    ¡°I need you,¡± I said.


    ¡°Oh, no. What¡¯s wrong?¡± Worry instantly lit her voice.


    Damn, I loved her.


    ¡°I¡¯ve done the craziest thing in my entire life, and right now, I really need your support and acceptance, and...and help. I need your help.¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± she said slowly. ¡°Do I need to grab my hiking boots, shovel and some lime, or...bail money?¡±


    I laughed and relaxed. ¡°Neither. I didn¡¯t kill anyone...and I¡¯m not in jail. I didn¡¯t even break the law.¡±


    ¡°Well, that¡¯s a start. What¡¯d you do, then?¡±


    ¡°Um...I think I have to tell you this one in person. Can we go to Forbidden in, say...half an hour?¡±


    ¡°Sure.¡±


    I bit my lip and took a deep breath before adding the hardest part of my request. ¡°And...can you not bring Quinn?¡±


    A pause followed. Then she finally asked, ¡°Why can¡¯t I bring Quinn?¡±


    ¡°Because...this is a girl thing, and I...I just can¡¯t talk about it with you when there¡¯s this hulking, hot pile of walking testosterone sitting between us.¡±


    ¡°But, he¡¯s not¡ª¡±


    ¡°Zoey, please.¡±


    She sighed. ¡°Okay...fine. Quinn can stay home.¡±


    I fisted my hand and pumped the air. Yes! I so rule. ¡°Thank you, thank you, thank you! Pick me up at my place, bye.¡±


    After rushing the last few words, I hung up before she could come up with a way to back out. Zoey hated doing anything without Quinn. But I wasn¡¯t about to let that stop her.


    Half an hour later, the headlights of her car blared through the front window and swung across the walls of the living room when she pulled into the drive. I popped up from the couch where Colton had been cuddling with me, watching Goonies.


    ¡°There¡¯s Zoey. I gotta go. See you guys tomorrow.¡±


    Aspen lifted her face from her laptop, where she was probably still nitpicking and perfecting her already flawless resume to death. Sitting cross-legged in a side chair, she wore one of Noel¡¯s old T-shirts and a frayed pair of shorts.


    ¡°Oh!¡± Surprise lit her voice as she took in my outfit. ¡°You¡¯re going out?¡± After sending Colton a reassuring smile, as if to let him know she was still here for him, she returned her attention to me. ¡°Have fun.¡±


    Thank God she was so much less inquisitive than Noel. She didn¡¯t ask where I was going, who would be there, what I¡¯d be doing, or when I¡¯d be home. It was nice to know someone in this household could treat me like a quasi-adult and gave me a little trust.


    I hopped over Brandt who was sprawled in a beanbag on the floor, where he was watching the movie. I even managed to evade his foot when he purposely kicked out his leg to trip me.


    Once outside, I paused to draw in a deep breath. Was I really going to do this? Just...hang out and stalk some guy I liked? That sounded really lame and desperate. But honestly, I didn¡¯t think much else could top my rating on the crazy scale after what I¡¯d done last night. And the more I kept thinking about all the skanky, half-dressed sluts who¡¯d be crawling all over the bar, trying to flirt with him, the more I just couldn¡¯t stay at home, watching eighties movies with my sister-in-law and younger brothers.


    Nodding my head with reaffirmed purpose, I strode to the car waiting on me. I really loved Zoey¡¯s car. It was one of those nice, clean, pristine new luxury sedans. She came from money, but you couldn¡¯t tell unless you caught sight of what she drove. I wished I had a car. I actually had some money to get one, but Noel had convinced me to only buy meaningful things with that money...like college tuition. And since he¡¯d finally been able to get himself a rattletrap truck, meaning we had two vehicles in the household¡ªhis and Aspen¡¯s¡ªI usually didn¡¯t need my own automobile.


    Zoey was clicking through channels on the radio when I opened the passenger side door. She looked up as I slid in and pulled on my seat belt.


    ¡°Hi.¡± Her voice was too cheerful, her smile too bright. It all felt like one big, guilt-ridden inquisition. I just couldn¡¯t take the pressure.


    So I blurted, ¡°I had sex with Oren last night,¡± in one, long, massive, run-on breath, only to moan in misery and slink lower in my seat as I clapped my hands to my head in defeat.


    Forget Chinese water torture and thumbscrews; just have one innocent best friend smile at me, and I was spilling everything.

 Page 30

    Damn, she was good.


    But, oh, was it a relief to finally confide in someone.


    ¡°Umm...¡± Zoey wrapped both hands around the steering wheel as if she needed to hold on to something stable to brace herself. ¡°If that¡¯s code for something else, I don¡¯t...I don¡¯t understand.¡±


    Glancing around to make sure no one was listening in, even though we were sitting alone in a closed car in the dark¡ªhey, she might¡¯ve stashed Quinn in the backseat¡ªI leaned over the center console and confessed, ¡°That wasn¡¯t code. For anything. I truly, honestly had sex with him. Last night.¡±


    ¡°But that doesn¡¯t...¡± She shook her head. ¡°Wait. What?¡± Her eyes flew open wide and she slapped both hands over her mouth. ¡°You mean, you¡¯re Midnight Visitor?¡±


    ¡°Who?¡±


    ¡°Quinn told me... Oh good Lord, Caroline. Please don¡¯t tell me you snuck into his room last night in the dark and...and...well, without him even knowing it was you. Did you?¡±


    ¡°I snuck into his dark room without him knowing it was me and had sex with him last night...twice. Well, twice for him. Four boom-booms for me.¡±


    Zoey sucked in a breath and clutched her hands to her chest. ¡°Holy shit,¡± she said, a girl who¡¯d probably only spoken three curse words aloud in her entire life. ¡°Oh God. Why did you tell me this?¡± she began in a chanting kind of voice as she spoke more to herself than to me. ¡°You shouldn¡¯t have told me this. I should not know this.¡±


    ¡°I had to tell someone,¡± I argued. ¡°Because, wow, my mind is completely blown right now. It was good. Oh my God, it was sooo good, Zoey. Like...I want to build a room inside my panties and force him to live there permanently kind of good. No way in hell can I keep this to myself. And you¡¯re my best friend. Who else could I tell?¡±


    ¡°But he¡¯s my roommate,¡± she cried. ¡°And Quinn¡¯s¡ªoh, no. Quinn. I can¡¯t keep this from Quinn.¡±


    ¡°Uh, yes, you can. No way can Quinn know about this. He¡¯ll tell Oren, or worse...Noel.¡±


    ¡°Noel,¡± Zoey gasped. ¡°Holy shit. If Noel found out¡ª¡±


    ¡°I know,¡± I hissed. ¡°So you¡¯re just going to have to keep this between the two of us.¡±


    Zoey gulped, but backed us from the driveway. ¡°Why?¡± she finally asked. ¡°Why did you put me in this position? Really? What did I ever do to you?¡±


    I patted her arm, suddenly feeling less stressed and more cheerful now that I¡¯d gotten the secret off my chest. ¡°Just a perk of being my best friend.¡±


    When she sent me a dry glance across the car¡¯s darkened interior, I grinned. Finally, she sighed and loosened her shoulders. ¡°So...why did you do it? I mean, I know how much you like him, but this just seems...a bit extreme.¡±


    A bit? Ha! I adored her understatements.


    Not really sure how to explain it because it¡¯d been one of those rash, didn¡¯t-take-the-time-to-think-it-through ideas, I shrugged. ¡°Once upon a time, you said he liked me back.¡±


    ¡°He does, Caroline, but I also told you why he stays away.¡±


    I snorted and glanced out the side window. ¡°And I told you if he really liked me as much as I like him, then I wasn¡¯t going to let my brother come between us. And I didn¡¯t, did I? By doing it this way, I can protect both Noel and Oren. Noel will never know, and Oren won¡¯t either, so he never has to feel guilty about it. It¡¯s basically the perfect solution.¡±


    ¡°Riiiight.¡±


    I scowled at her for the sarcastic tone. I was supposed to be the witty, sarcastic one of the two of us. She was the sweet, supportive friend. Why was I not feeling the sweet support?


    Oh, yeah. Because I¡¯d finally gone off the deep end, and no way could anyone¡ªeven Zoey Blakeland¡ªsupport this.


    ¡°You know, he already told both Quinn and Noel about you. They¡¯re calling you the Midnight Visitor.¡±


    I cringed as nausea churned in my stomach. ¡°He did tell Noel, then? Damn. I was afraid of that.¡±


    ¡°Well, what did you expect? This is Ten we¡¯re talking about. He¡¯s not exactly the private type when it comes to sharing sex details.¡±


    ¡°I know.¡± I groaned. ¡°But...I just couldn¡¯t help it, Zoey. He¡¯s...he¡¯s so...he¡¯s Oren. Everything inside me comes alive whenever he¡¯s around. I¡¯ve been crazy about him for so long, wanted him for months, it was starting to drive me batty. And he was never going to do anything about it. You know that.¡±


    Zoey gave a thoughtful nod. ¡°You¡¯re right. He wouldn¡¯t have. Despite all his flaws¡ª¡±

 Page 31

    ¡°And there are many,¡± I agreed.


    She grinned. ¡°He¡¯s always been one of the most loyal people I know when it comes to his friends. He¡¯s gone above and beyond for them. And he¡¯d never knowingly betray one of them.¡±


    I gulped. ¡°Are you trying to make me feel guilty?¡± Because it was working.


    ¡°No,¡± she was quick to say. ¡°I just...I guess, in a way, I¡¯m glad you did it this way, too. I want you two together so much. You both deserve love and happiness. I¡¯m in awe of your...your...¡±


    ¡°Stupidity?¡± I guessed.


    ¡°Brash courage,¡± she corrected as she pulled into the parking lot across the street from the club. As she killed the engine, she turned to me. ¡°But seriously.¡± She winced. ¡°How exactly do you foresee this turning out?¡±


    I cringed back at her and in a small voice answered, ¡°Badly. Probably epically...disastrously...badly.¡±


    I was so sure she¡¯d nod and agree, but she chewed on her lip a moment before murmuring, ¡°I don¡¯t know. Maybe it¡¯ll come out okay. I mean, I never in a million years thought Quinn and I would end up together when I first met him. So, maybe...¡±


    I took her hand and squeezed it gratefully. ¡°I love you. You know this is going to end as awfully as I know it¡¯s going to end, and you think I¡¯m crazy and probably stupid, yet here you are, supporting me anyway. Thank you.¡±


    Zoey squeezed back, and looked out the window at the flashing lights of the bar across the street. ¡°So, I know Ten¡¯s working tonight. I assume we¡¯re here to make sure no other woman gets her dirty paws on him, right?¡±


    ¡°Wow. You know me so well.¡±


    She sighed and opened her door. ¡°It¡¯s scary, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    There was a line to get in tonight. After we bounded across the street and waited for a couple minutes in the warm evening, Harper, the doorman, shook his head when he saw us. ¡°Ah, hell. I smell trouble brewing.¡±


    ¡°Always,¡± I answered happily and leaned up to kiss his cheek.


    Harper grinned but swatted me away. ¡°Hey, now. None of that. Your brother¡¯s just inside. You want me to die a slow and painful death? Now, quick. Give me something to look at so it seems like I¡¯m checking your IDs.¡±


    We did and thanked him for letting us in without having to pay. Zoey grabbed my arm as soon as we started past him. She squeezed hard. ¡°Wait. You didn¡¯t tell me Noel was working tonight, too.¡±


    I shrugged and immediately slid my attention to the bar, but damn it, there were too many people in my way. Didn¡¯t they realize I needed an Oren fix, like, now?


    ¡°A minor hiccup.¡± I waved a hand at Zoey, letting her know I wasn¡¯t concerned about my brother.


    But she shrieked, ¡°Minor?¡±


    Muttering what sounded like a prayer under her breath, she took my hand and started to lead me toward the bar.


    I resisted, accidentally jerking her off balance, and just as she turned back to me with question in her gaze, there he was. It was as if the crowd parted and the blue neon lights overhead beamed down upon him. My stomach muscles instantly convulsed with pleasure, and I squeezed my legs together. I was almost tempted to cover my throbbing breasts with my arms.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    I couldn¡¯t even answer Zoey¡¯s question. I was too busy feeding the craving. But, wow.


    I¡¯d seen him nearly every day since we¡¯d met a year ago. He was a frequent visitor at the Gamble house. My younger brothers treated him like their personal tackle mat¡ªand speaking of tackle...I so wanted to tackle him right now.


    It didn¡¯t matter how many times I¡¯d seen him before, though, or how familiar I was with his appearance; tonight he looked better than ever.


    His perpetually messy hair appeared extra dark in this lighting and really lit up the fact that he needed to shave. I have no idea how he managed to groom himself so that he always seemed to possess a five o¡¯clock shadow, but it looked good on him. It highlighted the masculine angles in his jaw and framed his full plush lips to perfection.


    Damn. I wanted him so bad. My fingers curled, eager to run their way up his toned arms. My mouth watered, wanting to suck on his Adam¡¯s apple.


    You knew a girl had it bad when even a guy¡¯s straight, dark eyebrows turned her on. And his definitely did.


    ¡°I think I¡¯m going to come,¡± I told Zoey. My hand clamped down on hers as my breathing picked up.


    She yelped, ¡°Holy...¡±


    ¡°Shit,¡± I finished. My core tightened painfully. I couldn¡¯t believe I was so turned on just from looking at him and remembering. ¡°This is embarrassing.¡±

 Page 32

    When a group of girls approached the bar, Oren smiled at them with lips that had been on my flesh last night, flashing teeth that had sunk into the back of my shoulder. Arms spread wide, he rested his hands¡ªthose hands that had been all over me, pulling my hair, toying with my clit, pushing inside me¡ªon the edge of the counter and leaned in toward them to hear their order. I snarled at them for getting so close to my man, even though he was the one moving in toward them.


    ¡°Who the fuck are they?¡±


    ¡°They¡¯re customers. They just want a drink. Down, girl.¡± Zoey tugged on my hand and led me away, dislodging my perfect view of my perfect man.


    I scowled at her, even though I was grateful for the reprieve. My body still throbbed for release, but without seeing him, the intensity of each pulse was beginning to lessen.


    When we found a bare patch of wall to lean against in the darkest part of the club, I sucked in air and willed myself to calm down.


    ¡°Better?¡± Zoey studied my face with concern wrinkling her brow.


    I nodded. ¡°Yeah. Thank you.¡±


    She nodded too. ¡°So...what now?¡±


    My face crumpled when I looked at her. ¡°I have to see him again. I mean, not as me. As her. I only wanted last night to be a one-time deal, but Zoey, you don¡¯t understand. It was so... It¡ª¡±


    She sent me a sad smile. ¡°Actually, I do understand. Completely.¡±


    I guess she did. It was hard to believe now, but just a few months ago, Quinn had been completely forbidden to her since he¡¯d been dating someone else. No matter how much everyone else could tell they belonged together, I¡¯d had a bad feeling they would never hook up because they were both too honorable. But here they were now, together and happier than ever.


    That should¡¯ve given me some kind of hope.


    Except it didn¡¯t. My situation was a tad different than theirs. And I was in no way as honorable as they were.


    ¡°I have to somehow sneak back into his room without him knowing it¡¯s me.¡±


    Zoey snickered. ¡°The return of Midnight Visitor?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± I nodded before her words sank in. And just like that, one of my crazy, spur-of-the-moment, off-the-wall ideas hit me. ¡°Yeah,¡± I murmured again, eyeing her probably a bit maniacally. ¡°Midnight Visitor. Zoey, that¡¯s brilliant.¡±


    ¡°Oh God,¡± she moaned, already cringing. ¡°What did I just start?¡±


    I grabbed her forearm, squeezing excitedly. ¡°Can you get his phone?¡±


    She began to say yes, when she realized what I really meant. ¡°What? You mean right now?¡±


    Five minutes later, Zoey was weaving back to me through the crowd with the biggest grin on her face. ¡°I did it! I got his phone.¡± She looked so excited and proud of herself, it was adorable. ¡°I can¡¯t believe I really did it. I feel like such a rebel right now.¡±


    ¡°Oh, baby, you are. You so are.¡± I rubbed my hands together. ¡°Now gimme.¡±


    She handed the cell phone over. The smooth plastic was cool in my hands. It looked like any other smartphone with a plain blue cover. But it felt almost electrified in my touch, as if its hallowed surface crackled against my fingers.


    This was Oren¡¯s phone.


    Yeah, I was a freaking spaz for getting my jollies off just by holding his phone. But I didn¡¯t care. I was holding his phone!


    ¡°You¡¯re not going to change anyone¡¯s number, are you?¡± Zoey asked.


    ¡°What? No. Of course not.¡± Realizing she was watching me be a total creeper, I cleared my throat and quickly flipped the phone over before I pushed the home button. When I unlocked it, a passcode request came up. I whimpered.


    But what the hell? He actually password protected his phone?


    No!


    I glanced at Zoey. She looked up and bit her lip sympathetically.


    ¡°Any idea what it is?¡± I asked.


    ¡°No. But I can¡¯t see Ten having a difficult password. It¡¯s probably something like one, two, three, four.¡±


    I nodded. Yeah, that sounded like him. I punched it in.


    No go.


    After a second of thinking, I tried another.


    ¡°Damn. That wasn¡¯t it, either.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯d you try?¡± Zoey asked.


    ¡°Six, seven, three, six. You know, the numbers for O-R-E-N.¡±


    ¡°Oh, yeah. That¡¯s what Quinn does for his password too, but you know...he uses nine, six, three, nine for...Zoey.¡± She blushed and smiled until her eyes widened. ¡°Oh! Can I try one?¡±


    I frowned suspiciously but handed the phone to her. ¡°Okay. Sure.¡±


    She immediately punched in four numbers. Sadness entered her gaze, but then she nodded. ¡°I¡¯m in.¡±

 Page 33

    ¡°What? Really?¡± I leaned in to see his home screen with a football-themed background. My stomach pitched with excitement and then disappointment because she¡¯d known him better than I had. ¡°What numbers did you use?¡±


    ¡°What?¡± She zipped her face up quickly, her eyes wide with guilt.


    I pulled back, frowning hard. What the hell was she trying to hide from me?


    Before I could grill her, though, his phone rang in her hands. She yelped and almost dropped it. She had to fumble to keep it from slipping through her fingers, but once she had it securely back in her hands, her face drained of color. ¡°Oh my God, it¡¯s ringing. What do I do?¡±


    ¡°Silence it!¡± I hissed, glancing around in the hopes that no one important heard the distinctive ring tone of 2 Live Crew¡¯s ¡°We Want Some Pussy¡±. But the place was so loud and the karaoke was so bad, I didn¡¯t think we¡¯d have a problem with anyone hearing much of anything we were doing over here in our private corner.


    Zoey continued to freak, though. ¡°How do I shut it off? I don¡¯t know where¡ª¡± Her words cut off as her attention focused on the screen. And just like that, her entire face lit up. ¡°Oh, it¡¯s Quinn.¡±


    She pushed Answer and lifted the receiver to her ear.


    ¡°No!¡± I yelped, reaching to snag it away.


    Too late.


    It was natural instinct for her to talk to her man. She was already saying, ¡°Hi!¡± A split second later, her eyes grew wide and she flashed her gaze to me. ¡°Oh crap,¡± she mouthed as she realized she¡¯d just answered Oren¡¯s phone.


    I could hear Quinn¡¯s voice on the other end of the line, no doubt asking her what she was doing, answering his phone.


    Panic filled her face. ¡°Um...because I just helped Caroline steal it,¡± she said, only to wince and press her fisted hand against her head. ¡°Sorry,¡± she whispered to me. Then she kept on confessing everything. ¡°Because she¡¯s Midnight Visitor...and I¡¯m helping her set up one of those Google Voice phone numbers in his contacts list and¡ª¡±


    ¡°Zoey!¡± I ripped the phone from her hand before she could tell him everything...even though she just had.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± she wailed again, clearly distraught. ¡°But I can¡¯t lie to him. I just...I can¡¯t. I swear his voice is like truth serum to me.¡±


    I growled at her and pressed the phone to my ear, my mind racing over how I could cover damage control. ¡°Quinn?¡± I said hesitantly before I bit my lip.


    ¡°Caroline.¡± He was usually nice and polite to me, but the hard tone in his voice as he said my name let me know he wasn¡¯t feeling very nice...or polite. Then he exploded. ¡°What the hell did you just pull my girlfriend into?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I instantly gushed. I really was sorry for putting her in such an awful position. ¡°But she was the only person I knew I could count on. You know, you should be honored to have such a reliable, supportive woman.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, well, I¡¯m a bit too ticked at the moment because you just sucked her into some devious little nest of lies. Zoey hates to lie.¡±


    ¡°I know. I know.¡± I winced, feeling even more guilt from everything I was doing.


    If I was smart, I¡¯d call this off now and go home, pretend last night never happened. But when it came to Oren, I was never smart. I was way too emotional for that shit.


    ¡°I feel like crap for sucking her into this, but...it¡¯s too late now. Please just tell me you¡¯re not going to tell Oren...or Noel.¡±


    ¡°Are you seriously asking me to lie to my two closest friends on earth?¡±


    Oh, boy. I was screwed. But I said, ¡°Yes, I guess I am. I¡¯m sorry. But please.¡± Please, please, please.


    Of course he¡¯d tell them, though. Why wouldn¡¯t he tell them? His loyalties would always lie with both Oren and Noel before they¡¯d ever lie with me.


    It felt as if my life had just ended. Things started sinking into the pit of my stomach. Evil, awful things that didn¡¯t belong anywhere near a stomach.


    Panic, dread, hyperventilation.


    Noel was going to find out what I¡¯d done.


    Oh shit. Oren was going to find out. What would he do when he learned last night had been me? Would he ever talk to me again? Would he be...disgusted?


    ¡°Dang it, Caroline,¡± Quinn muttered in my ear. ¡°As much as I think they both deserve to know what you did, you just had to go and pull Zoey in on it, didn¡¯t you? I can¡¯t let her catch any heat from this.¡±


    I blinked, shocked speechless. But, oh my God. I¡¯d completely forgotten there was one more person with whom he¡¯d always side, with whom his loyalties were even stronger than the ones he had for his two closest friends on earth.

 Page 34

    A slow smile spread across my face. I had Zoey on my side, which meant I had him on my side, too. Yes! ¡°So, you¡¯re not going to tell them?¡±


    ¡°Only because you¡¯ve already gotten my girl involved.¡±


    ¡°Oh my God!¡± Relief made my eyes throb with happy tears. ¡°Thank you. Thank you so much. I love you.¡±


    He laughed. ¡°Sorry, but I¡¯m already taken.¡± And thank God he was. His love for Zoey was the only thing ensuring his silence right now. ¡°Let me talk to her again,¡± he demanded.


    ¡°Sure.¡± I happily handed the phone over.


    I watched Zoey spew out apology after apology before she gushed on about her love for him. I was beginning to think it was unnatural how quickly those two forgave and made up by the time she finally finished the call. But whatever. I liked seeing them make up probably more than I¡¯d like to see them fight¡­if they ever did fight.


    It was also unnatural how they never fought.


    ¡°Don¡¯t forget to erase his call from the phone¡¯s history,¡± I cautioned.


    She did and then handed it over. I had to take my own from my pocket to retrieve the new number I¡¯d given myself, and then I plugged the details into Oren¡¯s. A thrill raced through me as I saved my new information.


    I was about to click out of his address book when I noticed the name Marci Bennett. My fingers froze as I stared at the name of the bitch who¡¯d ratted Aspen and Noel out to Aspen¡¯s boss and gotten her fired. I didn¡¯t like seeing her name in Oren¡¯s phone. And I liked even less knowing what it meant by being in there.


    Sick nausea swamped me. Had he been with Marci Fucking Bennett? I suddenly wanted to cut his penis off. But then I loved his penis. I loved how it had felt in me, how it had moved and¡ªdamn it! Why did he have to go and share it with every fucking woman he met?


    Before I could stop them, my fingers started to delete the number. But Zoey caught my wrist. ¡°What¡¯re you doing?¡±


    ¡°He has Marci Bennett¡¯s name in here. Marci...Bennett.¡±


    Zoey blinked blankly. ¡°Who?¡±


    ¡°The bitch who wanted Noel for herself, so she took pictures of him and Aspen together to get my sister-in-law fired from her job.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± Zoey¡¯s mouth fell open. ¡°Her. Well...¡± She bit her lip and looked down at Marci¡¯s name in Oren¡¯s address book, wincing.


    ¡°This is his little black book, isn¡¯t it? All the women he¡¯s ever slept with have their digits in here. I can¡¯t believe I was so stupid to think...I don¡¯t know. I don¡¯t know what I was even thinking to accomplish by coming here tonight and breaking into his phone.¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t blame him for women he had in the past, Caroline. I mean, Cora is the last person on the planet I want to have carnal knowledge of Quinn, but she¡¯s probably the one who taught him half of the stuff we do together. And yes, that does bother me. But if I let it consume me, it would. If you can¡¯t get over what Ten did before he ever met you, then¡ª¡±


    ¡°But what if he does it tonight? Or tomorrow or...hell, Zoey. I was just another Friday-night hookup to him. Nothing¡ªabsolutely nothing is keeping him from moving on to his next score.¡±


    ¡°I thought that was why you put your new number into his phone.¡± Zoey motioned to it, looking suddenly uncertain. ¡°You were going to keep his attention on you so he wouldn¡¯t...¡± But her words drifted off as if she too realized that probably wouldn¡¯t work.


    Oren wouldn¡¯t just out-of-the-blue decide to become monogamous to some stranger in the dark who refused to show him her face or tell him her name.


    ¡°I can¡¯t text him, saying, ¡®Your dick is now mine. Get it near any other woman, and I¡¯ll physically remove it from you and keep it in a jar by my bedside.¡¯ That would sound a bit creepy.¡±


    ¡°Actually, I was thinking it sounded a lot creepy.¡±


    I huffed out a breath and shoved at her shoulder. ¡°Whatever. I can¡¯t...I just can¡¯t...¡±


    But then I glanced toward the bar. No one had started up on karaoke since the last person had finished singing, so a regular song was playing through the speakers and Ten was bobbing his head to the beat as he filled a pitcher with beer at the tap.


    After he handed it over to the waiting customer and accepted the payment, he danced his way toward the cash register where Noel was counting out change. Oren said something to my brother before he turned his back to Noel, pooched out his ass and pretended to booty grind against Noel¡¯s leg.


    I couldn¡¯t help it; I laughed while Noel shoved him away before letting out a reluctant grin and shaking his head.

 Page 35

    That right there was what always drew me back to Oren: his lighthearted, carefree, potty-mouth ways that made him uniquely him. It didn¡¯t seem to matter what anyone thought of him; he just went his own way, did his own thing, and managed to build up loyalties for those he called friends that were unbreakable.


    ¡°Okay, maybe I can handle his...filthy past,¡± I told Zoey.


    I glanced at her, feeling bolstered. I¡¯d been waffling all day, knowing what I¡¯d done was wrong and wanting to do it again anyway. But now...now I felt totally certain. I had to see him again.


    ¡°We need to get this phone back where you found it.¡±


    Zoey nodded and began to reach for it, but I shook my head. It had been beyond lucky she hadn¡¯t gotten caught the first time she¡¯d gone to the bar. A second trip would be too risky.


    Skimming my gaze over the bar to make sure Noel or Oren hadn¡¯t spotted us yet, I froze when I made eye contact with the third bartender. Asher smiled and started to wave, but I shook my head frantically and slashed my hand across my throat, asking him to stop.


    He did, frowning slightly. Then he glanced toward my brother and turned back to me to cock his head in a curious manner. I set my finger over my mouth and motioned him to come to us. He once again checked out what his coworkers were doing. Then he turned back to me with a nod as he held up a finger, telling me to wait a minute.


    ¡°Incredible,¡± Zoey murmured beside me. ¡°I think I actually followed that entire conversation you guys had. You and Asher would make awesome spies.¡±


    I winked at her. ¡°If only we could use our powers for good.¡±


    I barely caught Asher giving me the go-ahead to meet him over by the hallway as he lifted a tray full of used glassware.


    ¡°Come on.¡± I grasped Zoey¡¯s hand and jerked her after me, weaving through people so we could stay out of sight from the bar. Our mission grew more perilous as we had to move close to it to reach the hall, but Oren and Noel seemed busy without Asher on hand to help. So, they didn¡¯t notice us.


    Asher waited with his arms still laden with dirty glasses. I slowed to a stop, Zoey catching up to my side. Frowning at the dishes he was lugging toward the back kitchen, I shook my head. ¡°Didn¡¯t Pick just buy you guys a new one of these sanitizing machines where it washes those right under the counter?¡±


    Asher sighed and rolled his eyes. ¡°It¡¯s on the fritz, and the new one is on back order. Pick is pissed.¡± Then he glanced curiously between Zoey and me. ¡°What¡¯s up, ladies? Finally decide to give up on your men and be my favorite band groupies?¡±


    My shoulders sagged. It¡¯d probably be better for my mental health if I did give up on Oren to follow Non-Castrato around, but...I¡¯d already come this far. ¡°Unfortunately...no.¡± I lifted Oren¡¯s phone to show it to him. ¡°Can you sneak this back behind the bar?¡±


    Asher glanced at the cell phone and lifted an eyebrow. ¡°That¡¯s Ten¡¯s.¡±


    I nodded and sent him a cringe.


    An ornery grin lit his face. ¡°Do I even want to know what you did to it?¡±


    This time, I shook my head no.


    He laughed. ¡°Cool. I¡¯m in. Slide it in my front pocket here, sweetness.¡±


    Since his hands were full, holding the tray of cups, I reached for the front pocket of his black T-shirt and slid the phone in before patting it gratefully.


    ¡°And a little sugar?¡± he encouraged, tipping his face down and to the side to show me his cheek.


    I rolled my eyes but leaned up to kiss his cheek. He nodded his approval and then turned to Zoey. ¡°You too, princess. Don¡¯t be shy.¡±


    Zoey reluctantly stepped forward and kissed his cheek too.


    Asher straightened, looking rather proud of himself. ¡°Ladies,¡± he murmured. ¡°It was good doing business with you.¡± Then he turned away and was off.


    I wanted to stick around to make sure he got his job done. But I trusted Asher, so I gripped Zoey¡¯s arm. ¡°Let¡¯s get out of here before we¡¯re caught.¡±


    I had some text messages to write.


    ¡°Holy shit.¡± I gaped at the screen of my phone as I read the text that had been sent to me while I was working.


    The bar had closed nearly twenty minutes earlier, and all of us left behind to clean up were just about done with our duties for the night. I¡¯d just grabbed my phone where I¡¯d left it sitting by the cash register when I¡¯d noticed I had a waiting message.


    Have you been a good boy since our first encounter? I¡¯ll only give you a repeat of last night if you¡¯ve been a good boy.


    The sender showed up as...Midnight Visitor.

 Page 36

    ¡°Holy fucking shit.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Noel asked curiously as he came up to me from behind.


    I spun toward him, feeling the instinctive need to shield my screen from his eyes. But then I told myself that was stupid. There was no need to keep this from him. No reason at all. So I turned the phone around to let him read the message.


    ¡°She somehow got hold of my phone and added her name and number.¡± I turned it slowly back to me and wondered aloud, ¡°That¡¯s so totally whack. And how the fuck did she know you guys had been calling her Midnight Visitor?¡±


    Unless it really was Caroline. Maybe Gamble had mentioned it to her, or Ham had told Blondie, who¡¯d told her.


    As I wiped a suddenly shaky hand over my mouth, Gam laughed and slugged me in the shoulder. ¡°Well, aren¡¯t you a lucky son of a bitch? Who the hell cares how she got in? She¡¯s going to let you see her again. Isn¡¯t that what you wanted?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± I murmured absently. ¡°I guess.¡± But fuck, I couldn¡¯t believe she¡¯d contacted me. The way she¡¯d lit out of my room last night, I was sure that was the last I would hear from her. I began to sweat, nervous and elated at the same time.


    Gamble nudged me again. ¡°What¡¯re you waiting for? Write her back.¡±


    I scowled at him, not wanting to text her in public like this. But, oh...I would definitely be writing her back.


    ¡°Write who back?¡± Asher asked, strolling up with his attention on my phone I held in a still trembling hand.


    I scowled at him and shoved it into my back pocket, out of sight. ¡°Nothing,¡± I said at the same moment Gamble blurted, ¡°Ten¡¯s got a secret admirer.¡±


    Though I rolled my eyes over the term, it reminded me of what I¡¯d done last semester, leaving little pictures of Caroline on her chair in art class for her. Damn, I was such a loser when it came to her. I¡¯d honestly left her sweet little trinkets...just to make her smile.


    It was impossible to think she might be doing the same thing back to me...with midnight rounds of hot, wild sex instead of stupid drawings.


    ¡°Oh, really?¡± Hart quirked a curious eyebrow and folded his arms over his chest. ¡°Do tell.¡±


    I didn¡¯t want to tell him shit. I hated how close of a friendship he had with Caroline. It irritated the piss out of me until I just couldn¡¯t like the guy. But Gamble seemed to think he was just aces. He started blabbing about my entire encounter with Car¡ªI mean, Midnight Visitor. And the more my good buddy spoke, the more intrigued Hart seemed to grow.


    ¡°So when do you think she broke into your phone and slipped you her number?¡± he asked.


    ¡°How the fuck should I know?¡± I sent him one last cranky glower and muttered, ¡°I¡¯m taking off.¡±


    I turned away, and Gamble and Hart laughed after me as if they thought my moodiness was cute. I flipped them the bird over my shoulder and pushed my way out into the warm April night. It was after two in the morning and the streets were quiet and dimly lit. I yanked my phone back out of my pocket and immediately checked my address book as I jogged across the street to the parking lot where my truck was.


    First, I checked Midnight Visitor¡¯s number, then I scrolled up to the C¡¯s and checked out Caroline¡¯s contact link. I was actually expecting the two numbers to be the same. But they weren¡¯t. A strange disappointment funneled through me. I slowed to a stop on the curb and stared at Caroline¡¯s name on my screen with a totally different number than Midnight Visitor¡¯s.


    I shook my head and breathed deeply through my nostrils. Almost tempted to delete the message and then Midnight Visitor¡¯s number completely, I ground my teeth and glanced up at the sky. A billion stars peered down at me, almost mocking me with their delightful twinkling.


    I couldn¡¯t believe I¡¯d been so sure she was Caroline.


    A long, drawn-out sigh eased from my lungs. Well...did I want to see the woman again, or not? It wasn¡¯t like me to say no to free pussy. But knowing that last night really had been a complete stranger made me uneasy. I didn¡¯t like feeling the connection I¡¯d felt with a woman who wasn¡¯t Caroline. I already had enough stupid-ass emotions swirling in me because I was pining after one woman. I didn¡¯t want to add another girl to the list.


    Then I reminded myself I¡¯d only felt close to Midnight Visitor because she¡¯d reminded me so much of Caroline, so...what was wrong with giving her another go? No strings, great sex, so why was I standing here debating with myself? I could just keep pretending she was who I wanted her to be, and everything would be okay. This was probably as close to Caroline as I¡¯d ever get anyway.

 Page 37

    Making up my mind, I drew in a breath and reopened the message I¡¯d been sent.


    Define good, I typed, and then walked the rest of the way to my truck.


    I¡¯d just opened the driver¡¯s side door when my phone buzzed. My dick jerked in response, knowing my correspondence directly involved him.


    The definition of good: You have not had your penis in any other woman since it¡¯s been in me. So...have you been good?


    With a laugh, I shook my head. It¡¯s barely been twenty-four hours since I was in YOU. Just how much do you think I get around?


    ¡°I know exactly how much you get around. Answer the damn question.¡±


    I knew I was having more fun with this than I should, but I grinned. You have a dirty mouth. I like that.


    For some reason, I thought she¡¯d like that comment. Instead, she wrote, I take your avoidance of my question to mean that you¡¯ve been a very bad boy and dirtied your dick in some other whore. So bye-bye now.


    I sniffed, not liking her ultimatum-type threat. Actually, no, I haven¡¯t been with anyone since you. But if you want a different answer, give me an hour. I¡¯m sure I can find some chick to screw. I growled as I jabbed the send button, wondering who the hell she thought she was to demand monogamy from me.


    Instantly, she answered, No! Please don¡¯t.


    I didn¡¯t immediately respond. I let her sweat. I didn¡¯t want to lose my shot with my Caroline wannabe, but I wasn¡¯t going to let her boss me around either.


    I started the engine of my truck and muted my phone, muttering under my breath about how no one owned me.


    She¡¯d written another message by the time I¡¯d driven home and parked in front of my apartment building. Since I wasn¡¯t the patient type, I opened it before heading up to my apartment.


    I¡¯m just asking you not to fuck anyone else while you¡¯re still fucking me. She sounded much more humble this time around, which made me smug. If that¡¯s acceptable with you, then¡­Tuesday night. Midnight. Your room. Keep the lights off. I¡¯m doing a sniff test, and if your cock smells like anything but Ivory soap, I¡¯m leaving, and you¡¯re never touching me again.


    Okay, that second part wasn¡¯t quite as meek. My scowl returned, but then I realized something else and pulled back in surprise. ¡°Holy fuck.¡± How did she know I used that brand of body soap? I could¡¯ve sworn I¡¯d never had her before last night, but this chick had been in my apartment, in my very bathroom. Fuck, she¡¯d figured out my passcode on my phone. She knew my buddies had dubbed her Midnight Visitor. And not only that, she knew my work schedule because Tuesday was the next night I had off.


    Damn, I had a freaking stalker.


    I grinned, because having a stalker was kind of hot. Crazy chicks were so much more interesting than the sane ones.


    See you then, I said.


    To which she immediately responded, No, you won¡¯t. You better not see shit. I said no lights.


    I shook my head and chuckled under my breath. This woman really did have a mouth on her. That was so awesome. Fine. Touch you then? Lick you then? Fuck you then? Which term do you prefer, princess?


    Any of those will do. Thank you.


    Okay, fine. Lick you later then, baby.


    Looking forward to it. Goodnight, Oren.


    A bit of sadness and regret gnawed at my stomach. I stared at her smart-ass, kinky comments and realized I¡¯d actually had fun sparring with her. I didn¡¯t particularly want to have fun doing anything but fucking this woman. My heart already belonged somewhere else. I didn¡¯t want the stupid organ straying on me.


    But it felt wrong not to respond, so I typed, Night, Midnight Visitor.


    I was stress drawing on Monday in the campus¡¯s main courtyard between classes when Gamble and Ham found me. I¡¯d been doing that more and more lately, absently drawing when my mind wouldn¡¯t stop thinking shit it shouldn¡¯t be thinking. And I knew exactly what it was about, but I was in serious denial.


    Four years ago, a part of me had died. The biggest part. The fucking best part. To combat the pain that was left, I¡¯d closed off other parts because I could never picture myself loving any girl, in any capacity, ever again. Hell, I¡¯d never really even planned on making friends with dudes, either. But Noel Gamble had obliterated that plan the day I met him.


    We¡¯d been two complete strangers forced together as freshman dormitory roommates, and he¡¯d just kind of swept me in. After he¡¯d realized I¡¯d played some ball in high school, he¡¯d coaxed me outside for a game of catch, then he¡¯d told me how impressed he was by my skill, and before I knew it, I was a walk-on for the team and we were starting in games by the end of our freshman year.

 Page 38

    It never felt as if I¡¯d had a choice in becoming his friend. It just happened without me even noticing. He¡¯d dragged me along with him to my first party, and after I realized how easily I could immerse myself in this place, in this life, that I could forget about all the pain in a much funnier, way more pleasurable way, I was a goner. From that point on, we¡¯d become a team. When he needed work and found a job at Forbidden, he¡¯d told me they were looking for another bartender too, so I shrugged, thinking why the hell not. From there, my friendships with guys spiraled out of control. I¡¯d gotten close to Pick, and Hamilton, even Lowe, and kind-of-sort-of Hart. But I¡¯d always been careful not to get close to the feminine persuasion. Use them for booty calls and move on, that was my motto.


    Women gutted you. They either said shit that tore out your self-confidence, or they got hurt when you should¡¯ve been able to protect them, which left you so broken you wished you were dead. I tried to stay away from all of that ¡°feelings¡± shit when it came to women. Sometimes I was downright rude to them.


    Okay, fine. Most of the time I was rude...and offensive...and overall annoying. But a guy had to protect himself somehow, because women fucking gutted you.


    I wasn¡¯t expecting what happened to me to happen when Gamble carried Caroline into my life. I didn¡¯t welcome it either. And I wasn¡¯t very happy about the fact that Hamilton¡¯s woman managed to crawl under my defenses and make me feel things, either. But Midnight Visitor? No. No fucking way. This shit had to stop. Except it was already happening. Texting my hot little bed companion had been fun. And that made me damn nervous.


    I was getting too happy and sappy around too many women.


    I¡¯d seen Caroline earlier today, walking with Lowe and Lowe¡¯s woman toward the science department. I¡¯d been heading toward them, but I¡¯d ducked out of sight before they could see me. I¡¯d worked with Lowe just last night, and I always loved to say something to piss off his woman¡ªwhom I¡¯d dubbed Buttercup. But I couldn¡¯t go anywhere near them just then. Not with Caroline around.


    After making my plans with Midnight Visitor two nights ago, I¡¯d been worried about seeing Caroline again. It was as if I was too guilty to face her or something, which was whack. I¡¯d had numerous women since meeting her almost a year ago. I¡¯d never had a problem facing her after a night of debauchery before. But this just felt...different, which is probably what prompted another session of stress drawing.


    I was trying to scribble my stupid feelings away when someone jumped me from behind, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me.


    ¡°What up, loser,¡± Gamble called, making me leap out of my fucking skin. ¡°Doodling again, as usual?¡±


    I looked up and tried to cover my drawing pad before he could see what I was making, because I honestly wasn¡¯t all that sure what I¡¯d been drawing; I hoped to God it wasn¡¯t another picture of Caroline. But his eyes were already widening.


    I gritted my teeth and hesitantly glanced down. It wasn¡¯t a perfect depiction of his sister¡¯s face, however. Thank God. But to me, it was something so much worse. A sick dread pitched in my stomach as I stared at the four letters I¡¯d drawn and decorated with flames.


    Gamble glanced at Ham, who was with him and seeing my notepad, too. Then he turned back to me. ¡°Why are you drawing the name Zoey?¡±


    All warmth and sensation drained from my face. I didn¡¯t know what to tell him. I glanced at Ham, but instead of anger or confusion, a sad kind of sympathy filled his face. I gritted my teeth. ¡°I...I¡¯m designing a tattoo for Ham here.¡±


    There. Yeah. Shit, that actually sounded good.


    Gamble lifted his eyebrows to Ham. ¡°You¡¯re getting another tattoo?¡±


    Ham blinked, but returned his attention to the page where his woman¡¯s name was stenciled. Temptation flickered in his gaze. ¡°Yeah,¡± he murmured. ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ve been thinking about it.¡±


    I almost groaned, certain he hadn¡¯t thought about it until just now. But now that I¡¯d put the idea in his head, he was actually considering it. Stupid ass. Didn¡¯t he know you didn¡¯t tattoo a woman¡¯s name on you? Even if I did have a feeling he and Blondie would be the lasting kind who stayed together forever, it was just dumb to tempt fate that way. What if Blondie died on him? Where the fuck would he be then?


    I slapped the notepad closed. It was about time for me to start toward my next class, plus Gam was sending me the oddest look, giving me the willies, so I stood up and tucked the notebook away.


    I was about to bid these two losers farewell when Gamble glanced past me and shook his head. ¡°Great. Here comes trouble.¡±

 Page 39

    I looked over to see Caroline and Blondie headed our way. ¡°Fuck,¡± I muttered under my breath, knowing I couldn¡¯t escape unnoticed, except Gam heard me.


    He sent me a startled glance before a knowing gleam entered his eyes. The blood drained from my face. Shit, what the hell had he just figured out?


    Instead of letting me in on his little revelation, he turned to his sister as soon as they were within speaking distance. ¡°Hey, shorty. Have you been behaving?¡±


    She smirked back and fluttered her lashes. ¡°Never.¡±


    Damn, I loved the snarky little responses she gave. They always made me want to kiss the fuck out of her.


    But today, it kind of hurt to look at her. I mean, glimpses of her wispy corn silk hair, her sparkling blue eyes and stubborn chin always left an ache in my chest. But today felt worse than usual. Damn females making me feel way too damn much.


    I¡¯d gone through I-don¡¯t-know-how-many girls to flush my want for her out of my system, and it¡¯d never bothered me to look her in the eye the next morning before. But something about my encounters with Midnight Visitor was making me feel guilty as shit. It felt as if I¡¯d betrayed her, when she wasn¡¯t even mine...and she never would be.


    That didn¡¯t feel wonderful to think about either, so I turned my attention to Zoey and Ham as they came together for a heated little greeting. Tongue and everything.


    From the corner of my eye, I saw Gamble wrap his arm around his sister¡¯s shoulder and say something into her ear. She laughed and jabbed him in the side with her pointer finger before saying something back. The curiosity killed me, wondering what the fuck they were discussing. It was times like these I hated how close they were. Freaking messed with my head.


    Brother and sister getting along, hanging out, just shooting the shit.


    God, I missed that.


    Gam kissed the side of Caroline¡¯s head and pulled away, relieving some of the pressure that had been building in my chest. ¡°Well, I¡¯m headed to class. See you later. Ham. Zoey,¡± he called in farewell.


    I was technically still watching the lovebirds grope, so I saw them break apart to wave at Gamble. And then Gamble said, ¡°Ten.¡±


    Risking my sanity, I turned my attention to him. He had that look again, like he knew something about me that no one else knew. I didn¡¯t like that look. I tipped my chin at him and mumbled, ¡°Later,¡± and promptly ripped my gaze away again.


    As he strolled away and Ham went back to kissing his girl, I decided to take off too.


    But Caroline¡¯s voice just had to go and waylay me. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with you?¡±


    I frowned her way, and shit. What was it about her that always reeled me in? Just because her eyes were a pale, compelling shade of cornflower blue, her cute, pert little nose turned up at the end in the most adorable way, and a handful of barely discernible freckles dotted her cheeks, didn¡¯t mean she was movie-star hot. And yet I could look at her all day and still want more, because she was the most beautiful thing I¡¯d ever wanted.


    ¡°What¡¯re you talking about?¡± I asked with a confused shrug at her accusing stare. ¡°I didn¡¯t say anything.¡±


    ¡°I know. And it¡¯s suspicious as hell.¡± She set her hands on her hips. Hips I wanted to put my hands on. ¡°Why¡¯re you being so quiet?¡±


    Unable to look her in the eye, I lowered my gaze, only to be met with an eyeful of perfect breasts. And I mean perfect. Perfect shape, perfect size, perfect lift. I just wanted to stick my face in between them and die a happy man in motorboating heaven.


    Shaking my head slightly, I opened my mouth to tell her I didn¡¯t know what the hell she was talking about. But instead, I said, ¡°I gotta go.¡±


    Turning, I half sprinted, half walked away.


    Maybe agreeing to meet with Midnight Visitor again wasn¡¯t such a great idea after all. It¡¯d been hot the first night because I¡¯d let myself pretend she was Caroline, but now that I knew they weren¡¯t one and the same, I just felt shitty, because I wasn¡¯t sure if I could let go of my fixation on either woman now.


    God, I was so fucked up.


    I gazed after Oren as he fled the courtyard, and yes, fleeing was exactly what it looked like he was doing. He¡¯d just lit out of here as if his ass were on fire.


    Glancing at Zwinn, I pointed after him. ¡°Seriously, what¡¯s wrong with him?¡± He¡¯d seemed...moody, distant, quiet: all adjectives I had never associated with Oren before. Concern flickered inside me.


    ¡°Maybe he figured out your trickery,¡± Quinn said, arching a censorious eyebrow as he wrapped an arm around Zoey¡¯s waist and tugged her close.

 Page 40

    Damn, he really didn¡¯t approve of what I¡¯d done, did he?


    I gulped and glanced away. ¡°Did you tell him?¡±


    ¡°No. But he¡¯s not stupid, Caroline. If you keep this up, he will figure it out.¡±


    Not sure how to answer that, I drew in a deep breath.


    ¡°What you¡¯re doing can¡¯t lead anywhere good.¡± Quinn sent me a steady look that shot a shiver up my spine and made me feel worse about what I¡¯d already done.


    But even as Zoey softly admonished, ¡°Quinn. You didn¡¯t have to tell her that,¡± I nodded, agreeing with him. I knew he was right. I really should stop the insanity. It was already affecting Oren, and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. I couldn¡¯t think of anything else that might be bothering him, and Zwinn, hadn¡¯t come up with alternate reasons for why he might be moody, distant or quiet. Maybe this was about Midnight Visitor.


    I moved away from them, waving a goodbye as my mind stayed on Oren.


    Before I could stop myself, I dug my phone from my backpack, brought up my new Google number and tapped out a message.


    Maybe we should call off tomorrow night, I wrote and pushed send before I could stop myself. A pinch formed in my chest, and suddenly I wanted to cry. Was I really never going to share another intimacy with him again?


    My phone dinged, and I drew in a shuddered breath. Half praying he was going to beg me to meet him anyway, I opened the message and stared blankly at his response.


    Maybe, was all he said.


    Maybe? Wait, what? He was supposed to want me no matter what. Why didn¡¯t he want me? Something was definitely wrong with him. Or maybe I was destined to be rejected by him in whichever identity I used.


    I didn¡¯t like that. Ire rose inside me. So why don¡¯t YOU want to meet? I demanded to know.


    Why don¡¯t YOU? he shot back.


    I asked first.


    Well, you started this entire fucking discussion, so you have to answer first.


    Damn it. I gritted my teeth. I don¡¯t know. Where do you want me to start? I feel cheated, I guess. They say you only do it in the dark and from behind. But what if I want more? What if I want to run my hands up your chest and into your hair? Or dig my nails into your ass while you pound into me. I want your breath, hot and heavy, in my ear whispering all these dirty things while our chests bump together.


    Oh my God. Why did I keep typing this shit to him? Probably because I just couldn¡¯t help myself. My fingers suddenly had word vomit.


    I want to roll you onto your back and crawl onto your lap, and just...ride you until you come inside me. But I¡¯ll never be able to do that, will I? If you only do it from behind, I mean. I¡¯ll never get to face you and kiss you senseless when you¡¯re inside me. I¡¯ll never get to go down on you. I¡¯ll never get to do ALL KINDS of things I¡¯m craving to do to you.


    What I told him was all true, but it was just a smokescreen for what I really craved. Most of all, I was upset because I¡¯d never get to have a real relationship with him.


    My phone dinged, causing my pulse to lurch. I was almost afraid to read his message. I hate to break it to you, sweetheart. But whichever THEY you¡¯ve been talking to are wrong. I do it in ALL kinds of positions. Your worries of NEVER are completely unfounded.


    Fudge nuggets. Now I was picturing him in...all kinds of positions, especially the ones I¡¯d named. My breathing picked up. I was once again tempted to tell him tomorrow night was back on.


    I sank down onto the first bench I passed and clamped my thighs together because I was wet and pulsing.


    What about the dark? I hedged in my next text. Do you do it with the lights on too, then?


    As I recall, it was YOUR idea to keep the lights off for this next round. Do you want them on?


    No. I don¡¯t.


    Well then, princess, maybe now I¡¯M feeling cheated. Maybe I want to watch your titties bounce or your pussy all wet and stretched while it¡¯s holding on to my cock. Maybe I want to know what color your eyes are, or your hair, or if your cheeks get flushed when you¡¯re aroused, if you have pink nipples or brown.


    I groaned and bent at the waist, my thighs clamped so hard together I was a little afraid I might not get them pulled apart again.


    You can never see me, I told him.


    Why not? he instantly flipped back.


    I swallowed and glanced up at the trees overhead. For some reason the buds of newly blooming leaves gave me the courage to answer honestly. I¡¯m afraid you won¡¯t like what you see.


    Impossible. You felt beautiful to me.


    A lump formed in my throat, and I couldn¡¯t swallow it down. I loved what he said, and yet, I didn¡¯t love knowing he would write something so sweet and pure...to another woman. A hard laugh blurted from my chest because I realized I was freaking jealous of myself.

 Page 41

    This was getting more and more ridiculous by the moment.


    Needing to keep him from saying anything else that might make me jealous of myself, I said, So your turn. Why don¡¯t you want to meet? Did I cause a trigger last time?


    Trigger? He was obviously clueless, which made me smile and instantly loosen my tense stomach muscles.


    You told me about your sister¡¯s death, I reminded him. Maybe you didn¡¯t like exposing so much of yourself to me. Or maybe you didn¡¯t like how I kept calling you Oren. Maybe you let me get too emotionally close and that made you uncomfortable.


    I don¡¯t know why I said any of that. Anything he responded with would probably hurt. If he told me he hadn¡¯t felt anything for me during our encounter, I¡¯d die. If he said he¡¯d liked how he¡¯d opened up to me, I¡¯d get jealous of myself...again.


    But instead of either of those responses, he said, You¡¯re totally whack.


    As I laughed and shook my head, he added, But that¡¯s okay. I dig crazy chicks. I don¡¯t mind that you¡¯re a complete stalker or that you probably even know what color my panties are right now. I think your obsession with me is hot.


    I laughed again, this one bordering on an outright giggle. You¡¯re not wearing panties, I wrote, because they were probably boxers or briefs, or oh yum, my favorite: boxer briefs.


    Damn, you¡¯re good.


    Reading his response made my grin widen, but a second later, I sobered. So if my creeper traits aren¡¯t scaring you off, you don¡¯t mind that I want our meeting in total darkness, and I didn¡¯t hit any triggers, then why were you so quick to call tomorrow night off?


    Baby, you¡¯re the one who called it off.


    I rolled my eyes. Was he really that dense? But you agreed IMMEDIATELY.


    Oh I¡¯m SO sorry, was I supposed to beg you to let me back into your pussy again?


    With a frown, I pounded out my response. YES, DAMN IT!


    Jesus, fine, he shot back. Please, my mysterious midnight visitor who feels like heaven around my cock, would you be so kind as to let me back into your pussy again?


    Oh my God. What a douche. Fuck you.


    That¡¯s the plan, sweetheart. I want to fuck you until you can¡¯t walk straight the next day. So are we on or not?


    That would be a hell no. You don¡¯t want me.


    You are definitely a confusing fucking woman. FUCK! I do want you. Okay? I want you, and THAT¡¯S the problem. I want you, but I want someone else, and I¡¯m all fucked up in the head, feeling like I¡¯m cheating on you both, when honestly I don¡¯t really have either of you, do I? So any kind of cheating would be literally impossible, wouldn¡¯t it?


    I pulled back, staring at his words in a strange kind of shock. But he¡¯d just admitted to wanting...someone. Was it me? Immediately, I wondered if it could be. Zoey seemed to think he cared about me. Occasionally between all his foulmouthed sluttiness, I caught a flicker of interest, but...I¡¯d never been completely certain.


    My mind raced. Could I actually make him feel guilty about sleeping with me because he thought he was betraying...well, me? Damn, that was as messed up as me feeling jealous of myself.


    Are you saying you¡¯re currently sleeping with another woman? I asked, purposely misunderstanding him, because I needed to gain more intel here. But I think the question irritated him a little.


    Jesus! No. I just TOLD you, you¡¯re the only person I¡¯m fucking right now. I¡¯ve never fucked the girl I want. I will never fuck her. I can¡¯t.


    My breath caught in my chest, but holy shit. It was me. He was talking about me. He had to be!


    She¡¯s forbidden to you? I pressed.


    Bingo. And when you came along, in the dark with no name, no face, it was easy to picture HER.


    And...here came more jealousy of myself. Or¡ªif I was wrong, and he was as crazy for another woman as I was for him¡ªthen here came a load of jealousy for that fucking bitch who stole his heart, whoever she was.


    YOU DICK! You imagined you were with ANOTHER woman when you were with me? I bit my lip, not really as upset as I made the message sound, but I had to know how he would answer that.


    Fuck. I really am losing it. I cannot believe I admitted that to you. Can you pretend you never read that? Please.


    Okay, that wasn¡¯t exactly an apology, but he did sound contrite. I wasn¡¯t sure what to make of it all, so I asked, What¡¯s her name?


    That would be a hell to the big fucking no, I will never tell you her name.


    Again, I wasn¡¯t sure how to feel. If he was talking about me, I was pretty smug that he felt so protective. But if he was referring to someone else, I wanted to bawl. ¡°Bet I can make you cry it out when you come inside me tomorrow night.¡±

 Page 42

    Holy Christ. Why had I said that?


    Maybe because I was more certain that he¡¯d cry out my name than someone else¡¯s, and oh...my poor ovaries. The idea of him saying my name when he came was more than I could take.


    So we¡¯re back on for tomorrow night? Oren asked with his next message. Even after everything I just confessed to you?


    I bit my lip. Was I saying that? Oh, hell. Yes, I was. Thinking he might want me that much was impossible to resist. So I answered, I can handle knowing you¡¯re picturing me as someone else if you can handle always taking me in the dark.


    That¡¯s messed up.


    Thought you just said you liked crazy. Truth is¡ªthough it was completely a lie¡ªI want you again, and I¡¯m willing to listen to you cry out another woman¡¯s name to get you to fuck me like you did on Friday.


    Damn it, now I¡¯m hard.


    Well I¡¯ve been soaking wet for a while, so I have no sympathy.


    Tomorrow night can¡¯t come soon enough. Are we really doing this again?


    We¡¯re both fully aware of what we¡¯re walking into now, so sure, why not?


    Sweet. Lick you later, baby.


    I shook my head and slipped my phone back into my bag. I loved talking to him, whether it was arguing, our strange version of flirting, or just commenting about the weather. Any byplay with Oren Tenning left me exhilarated. I swear it was his presence in my life that had brought me back to life after Sander had left me pregnant and alone. And quite frankly, I was going to gobble up any chance to be with him that I could steal. I craved the vivacity he put in me that much.


    Someone stick a fork in me. I was crispy-fried and well done. Lounging on the mattress beside my midnight visitor, I blew out a breath and flopped my arm over my forehead as my breathing finally settled and evened out. But... ¡°Fuck,¡± I breathed out. That had been...yeah. Mind officially blown.


    She¡¯d remembered her threat to sniff test my dick, because she¡¯d attacked me first thing after she¡¯d walked into my room and shoved me against the door before yanking at my pants and going down on me. I guess I must¡¯ve passed muster, because the blowjob that followed left me so weak-kneed I almost couldn¡¯t carry her to the bed after that to perform my own sniff test.


    God, I loved the scent of a woman¡¯s arousal. And the taste. And the softness of her inner thigh against my cheek.


    Now she lay snuggled against my side in the dark. I closed my eyes and kept my lashes fused together, because it wasn¡¯t like I could see anything anyway in this pitch black darkness. Then I just enjoyed the quiet contentment of the moment.


    Curling against my side, she rested her head on my shoulder. Her breathing had also slowed, but her leg sliding over my thigh was still warm and damp. Just the way I liked to leave my woman: hot and sweaty and well ridden.


    A triumphant smile curved up my lips as I palmed her hip to keep her attached to me. Damn, we were good at this together. Everything that had been bugging me yesterday and forcing me to stress draw cowered off into a distant part of my brain. All I could focus on was how amazing my post-coital glow was.


    I expected her to start praising me any second. But what I heard sounded a lot more like, ¡°Yuck. Eww. What is that?¡±


    Wasn¡¯t quite the, Wow, you¡¯re the best I¡¯ve ever had, I¡¯d been expecting.


    ¡°Huh?¡± My cocky grin died a tragic, disappointed death. Stunned by any kind of negative review, I whipped onto my side so I could face her, even though I couldn¡¯t read her expression in the dark. ¡°What the hell are you talking about? That was fucking awesome.¡±


    When I reached her, she was arching her back off the mattress and wiggling as if trying to escape something under her.


    ¡°Wha...eww. Oren Michael Tenning, have you been eating crackers in bed?¡±


    ¡°What? No.¡± She knew my middle name too? I wasn¡¯t surprised. ¡°What kind of dork eats crackers in bed?¡± I sniffed at her nerve for even suggesting such a pathetic idea. ¡°They were potato chips. Cool Ranch Doritos.¡± Because I was a cool guy.


    She let out a big, disappointed sigh as if she thought I was hopeless. ¡°Lovely. I have cool ranch crumbs coating my butt right now.¡±


    ¡°Mmm.¡± That actually sounded hot. ¡°The better to lick off you, my dear.¡±


    I reached for her to do just that, but she swatted my hand away, grumbling about the crumbs. As she sat up, I could hear her dusting herself clean, so I reached over to blindly slap some of the crumbs off the mattress.


    ¡°There,¡± I offered as valiantly as possible. ¡°All gone now.¡±


    Her answer was a disbelieving sniff. ¡°You need to clean these sheets before I visit you again.¡±

 Page 43

    I was so busy drifting off into a daze, thinking about the phrase, ¡°visit you again,¡± and liking the idea of more encounters with her, I rattled off one of my habitual Ten answers. ¡°What? And give up all the slut cooties I¡¯ve accumulated over the years?¡± I even gave an audible gasp and set my hand against my heart, because fuck, that¡¯s just how I rolled.


    She stilled. When I actually felt a cool draft waft off her, I realized, shit, I¡¯d just fucked up big time.


    ¡°Please do not tell me you¡¯ve had other women on this bed since the last time you cleaned your sheets.¡±


    Double, triple and quadruple fuck.


    ¡°Um...sure.¡±


    ¡°Oh, sick. Oren!¡± She started to climb off the side. I knew if she left now, there was a good chance she wouldn¡¯t be coming back, so I dove after her and tackled her under me.


    ¡°No. Wait.¡±


    She growled as I rolled her onto her back. Then she shoved at my shoulders. ¡°Get off me. Now! I can¡¯t believe you¡ª¡±


    I kissed her silent.


    I have no idea how I knew that would work, but shit, it actually did. She accepted the thrust of my tongue and even kissed me back. Then she went and wrapped her legs around my waist and dug the heels of her feet into the base of my back as her nails sank into my shoulders.


    I broke off the kiss, panting hard, and pressed my forehead to hers. ¡°Don¡¯t go. Not yet.¡±


    Her answer was just as breathless. ¡°Why not?¡±


    ¡°Well...¡± Shit. I had nothing. Talking from the top of my head, I said, ¡°One. You know I¡¯m an asshole. I don¡¯t...I mean, I¡¯m not ever going to think of shit like...like cleaning sheets and wiping away all the past women. I¡¯ll probably always be inconsiderate and...and...you know me! You¡¯re my stalker. You know my work schedule, how to get into my cell phone, my middle name, what kind of fucking soap I use. Don¡¯t tell me you don¡¯t know what an ass I am, too.¡±


    She seemed reluctant at first, but she finally said, ¡°Okay, you have a point.¡±


    ¡°Damn right, I do. And two...¡±


    ¡°Two?¡± she prompted when I didn¡¯t come up with a two fast enough.


    ¡°Shit. You know me. I¡¯m an asshole.¡± Really, why did I need a two when one seemed to cover it all?


    She laughed, and my pulse settled some. ¡°Don¡¯t go,¡± I said more softly and reached out to find her cheek. Her breath caught and it caused something massive to shift in my chest. ¡°Stay.¡± I leaned in to nuzzle my nose up the side of her neck. ¡°Just a little longer.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± Her voice was raspy and soft; it caused my thoroughly exhausted dick to stir. ¡°You¡¯ve already had your way with me.¡±


    I didn¡¯t tell her I was ready to have it again. There was a vulnerable little hitch in her voice, as if she thought sex was the only thing we had going, when actually it was supposed to be. But I didn¡¯t like thinking my soft-skinned, dirty-minded midnight visitor was hurt.


    I took my mouth off her delectable throat. Turning onto my side, I faced her, resting an elbow on my pillow and my cheek on my hand. With my free hand, I found her hip and began to crawl my fingers up her side. ¡°Let¡¯s do something, then. What do you want to do?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± The question seemed to take her by surprise. ¡°We could maybe...talk, I guess.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re talking right now,¡± I reminded her. When I leaned in and tried to skim my mouth up her jawline, because I just couldn¡¯t stay away, she turned her face to the side and evaded me.


    With a groan-like growl, I buried my nose in her shoulder. ¡°What do you want to talk about?¡± I asked, my voice muffled against her amazing-smelling skin.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±


    I laughed a little derisively. Of course, she wouldn¡¯t know. ¡°Okay, fine.¡± I lifted my face and stared through the dark in her direction for a good five seconds, my mind completely blank of anything to say.


    My wandering hand finally found her breasts. When her nipples hardened under my touch, my cock went from half hard to full-on ready for deep penetration.


    I swallowed a moan and shifted my hips back so she wouldn¡¯t know how aroused I was. But I couldn¡¯t stop myself from circling her nipple with my finger, because the damn thing kept taunting me with its erectness, making my mouth water and my tongue tingle until it wanted to do nothing else but lick, and lick, and lick...


    She drew in a breath and arched her breasts out to me, loving the attention. I knew she was getting wet, and it made my erection throb for release.

 Page 44

    ¡°How old were you when your breasts started to grow?¡± I asked.


    She let out a couple pants before she hauled off and slugged me in the shoulder. ¡°Damn it, Oren.¡± She jerked up into a sitting position. ¡°That¡¯s not the kind of conversation I was talking about, and you know it.¡±


    ¡°Well, then you better pick the topic,¡± I snapped back, sitting up too, ¡°because all I can think about is sucking those hard, succulent berries into my mouth and rolling my tongue across them, and then jerking your legs up and diving that same tongue as deep into your pussy as it¡¯ll go.¡±


    She shuddered and started to breathe harder. ¡°You¡¯re fucking hard right now, aren¡¯t you?¡±


    Um, duh. ¡°As a steel fucking pipe.¡±


    ¡°Damn it.¡± She growled again. ¡°We just did it, like, five minutes ago.¡± Even as she complained, she pushed me back onto my spine and crawled on top of me to straddle my waist. Then she hovered above me and tucked her thighs warm and tight around my waist. I listened to her fumble and find a condom on my nightstand.


    The sound of her ripping it open made my stomach muscles tense in anticipation. Then she gripped me with her free hand and felt her way into slipping on the latex. Once she had me sheathed and she¡¯d positioned herself in place above me, I lifted as soon as her warm wetness settled against the head of my cock. But Midnight Visitor caught my hip, keeping me from plunging into her.


    I arched an eyebrow in the dark. ¡°I guess you want to be totally in charge this round, huh?¡±


    She answered me by grasping both my wrists and pinning them to the bed on either side of my head. With a roll of her hips, she guided me inside her. I could¡¯ve broken free; she wasn¡¯t holding me all that tight. But she seemed to like what she was doing, and I sure as hell didn¡¯t mind it.


    She began to ride me, and I groaned, arching my back. ¡°Fuck...me.¡± This was awesome.


    Above me, she let out a husky chuckle. Fingernails lightly scraped up my chest to play with my nipples. ¡°What¡¯re the odds that I can make you cry out that other woman¡¯s name when you come?¡±


    ¡°Wha...?¡± She about made me go cross-eyed by how tight and fast she moved. I couldn¡¯t think about anything else at the moment.


    ¡°Are you imagining I¡¯m her right now?¡±


    The woman was killing me. I was getting carried away with how good she felt, and here she had to go and remind me of Caroline? ¡°Shh,¡± I hissed, reaching up to grip her breasts. ¡°Don¡¯t be weird.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± she murmured, as if coaxing a frightened animal. ¡°You can say it. Say her name.¡±


    I gritted my teeth. ¡°I¡¯m not going to fucking say her name.¡±


    ¡°But I don¡¯t mind if you¡ª¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s fucked up. You have to mind. Why wouldn¡¯t you mind?¡± Hell, I wanted her to mind. If she didn¡¯t care, then this couldn¡¯t mean as much to her as it did to me. And I couldn¡¯t accept the idea that she wasn¡¯t as into me as I was into her.


    She slid her hand down my chest, over my belly and below my navel to where, oh Holy God, I think she touched herself. ¡°Because what if...what if it¡¯s my name you say?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not...it can¡¯t be.¡± I shook my head, denying it, even as I reached for her hand, because I had to know what she was¡ªfuck me, she was rubbing her clit.


    ¡°But what if it is?¡± she pressed, drawing me back to that damn annoying conversation. Her voice grew breathier. She had to be getting closer to her release, an idea which made me closer to mine.


    ¡°You better not fucking be her,¡± I gritted out, arching up into her.


    ¡°Why not?¡±


    ¡°Because I can¡¯t...shit, fuck, that feels good. I can¡¯t feel this with her. I can¡¯t do this with her.¡±


    ¡°And yet that¡¯s exactly what you might be doing.¡±


    Just the idea that she could be Caroline had me so close, I bucked my hips again, harder this time, driving into her as deep as I could go. She cried out and dug her fingers into my shoulders. ¡°Oren.¡±


    ¡°Damn,¡± I panted. ¡°I want to see you so bad right now.¡±


    She leaned down so I could feel her legs shift with each plunge that she wrought down on me. Something that had been hanging around her neck thumped against my chest right before she whispered into my ear. ¡°Sorry, but you¡¯ll just have to use your imagination. Because you¡¯ll never see me during these visits.¡±


    ¡°Oh, yeah?¡± I was tempted to just put her in her place. ¡°I could reach over and flip on my nightlight...right now.¡±

 Page 45

    She sucked in a breath and clamped her hands back around my wrists, pinning them to the mattress again. But then she went and challenged me. ¡°Then why aren¡¯t you?¡±


    I tugged my hands free, which made her suck in a startled breath. But instead of going for the light switch, my fingers attacked her hair, burying themselves deep and giving a tug, which she¡¯d seemed to like as much as last time.


    ¡°Because I like this game,¡± I hissed in her ear.


    ¡°Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod,¡± she chanted her orgasm mantra, telling me she was right there. Then the walls of her sex collapsed around my dick, squeezing tight as she came. ¡°Oren.¡±


    Her use of my first name was what tipped me over the edge. I¡¯d wanted to wait until she was done, then try to build her up again, but her orgasm seemed to clutch me by the balls and had me releasing deep inside her.


    ¡°Damn it, damn it.¡± I clenched my teeth and bucked my hips wildly, lifting her from the bed as I tried to hold it back. And failed. ¡°Caroline.¡±


    It felt so good, I couldn¡¯t even think as I pulled her hair and slammed up into her again and again.


    When she collapsed on top of me, that thing she was wearing thunked against my chest again. A cool metal chain was connected to it, so I figured it was a necklace.


    Silken hair fluttered over my arm as she nestled her cheek on my shoulder. It felt nice. I knew I could keep her there just like that forever and be completely content. But that thing still resting on my chest piqued my curiosity.


    ¡°What is this?¡± I asked as I dipped my face to feather my lips down her neck until I had a mouthful of the chain and gave it a small tug. I picked up the amulet with my fingers and felt out its shape. Sadness rocked through me because I couldn¡¯t remember Caroline ever wearing anything so large.


    I didn¡¯t like proof that Midnight Visitor wasn¡¯t her, even though they were beginning to separate in my mind and become two different people.


    ¡°It¡¯s a necklace,¡± she murmured, her voice amused.


    ¡°Hmm.¡± Maybe Caroline just wore it under her shirt. That wasn¡¯t completely unrealistic. It was about as realistic as me admitting Midnight Visitor was her. I continued to trace the rounded oval shape before I pressed it back to her chest and outlined it with my tongue. She let out a hum of pleasure.


    ¡°Does it mean anything special to you?¡±


    Her fingers drifted into my hair, making my scalp tingle. ¡°Of course.¡±


    I chuckled and lifted my face when she didn¡¯t elaborate. ¡°But you¡¯re not going to tell me?¡±


    ¡°Do you really want to know?¡±


    I shrugged. Kind of, yeah. I was beginning to grow very curious about my midnight visitor. I wanted to know all kinds of things, including, apparently, the importance of her necklace.


    The more time I spent with this woman, the more confused I grew. Whoever I was with now was getting under my skin. She knew how to draw me out. Or maybe I¡¯d allowed myself to grow closer to her because I secretly wanted her to be Caroline. Either way, what we had here between us was pretty sweet, yet I felt like shit because she was a true, live person that I was using.


    Then again, this wasn¡¯t Caroline. This was someone I could actually be with, so why couldn¡¯t I stop imagining she was someone else and just...be with her?


    Unease stirred within me. There were reasons why I hadn¡¯t had a steady girlfriend in four years, why I didn¡¯t let myself stay long with one chick, why I refused to let myself open up and let anyone in. But meeting Caroline a year ago had changed all that.


    And now that I¡¯d loosened my ways for her, this woman here was trying to squeeze in too. That panicked me. I had no clue what she looked like or what her name was, but the girl with me right now had a hold on me.


    I had thought I liked the mystery of not knowing who she was. But now I was curious. Tracing my finger down the middle of her chest between her breasts, I kissed her cheek. My gut clenched, because I knew a small part of me would be disappointed. I¡¯d been having fun daydreaming she was Caroline, but I was going to have to get over my obsession with her. And this woman was the closest I¡¯d ever come to what I felt for Gamble¡¯s little sister.


    I buried my face in her neck. With our arms and legs wrapped up in each other, I felt as close to her as I¡¯d ever felt to another living human, and yet I also felt worlds apart.


    I knew what I was hiding. But what the hell was she hiding? Why didn¡¯t she want me to see who she was?


    ¡°I¡¯ve been working on my portfolio,¡± I said, hoping if I shared something about me, she¡¯d share something about herself.

 Page 46

    ¡°Hmm?¡± Her voice was drowsy and pretty much disinterested in whatever I had to say. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Jesus, woman.¡± I sighed. ¡°First you tell me to talk to you, and when I finally start to, you fall asleep on me. What¡¯s up with that?¡±


    She yawned and sat upright. ¡°No, I¡¯m awake. I¡¯m awake. Sorry. Now, what were you saying about a portfolio? As in...your architecture portfolio? Oh my God, are you already looking for a job?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± I should¡¯ve known she¡¯d be fully aware I was an architecture major, even though I told most everyone I was getting a construction degree. My stalker was just that good. ¡°All my teachers and my counselor are telling me it¡¯s smart to get a head start and apply to places now, before I graduate.¡±


    ¡°Wow.¡± She sounded shell-shocked. ¡°But your graduation is just¡ª¡±


    ¡°Less than a month away,¡± I finished softly, moving closer to her without meaning to.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± she whispered and nestled back down beside me to burrow close and kiss my shoulder. ¡°So...have you found any places looking for new architects?¡±


    Again, I nodded. ¡°A couple.¡±


    ¡°Oh my God. Wow. W-where?¡±


    ¡°There are a few in-state firms I¡¯m checking out. Some in Missouri and Ohio. One as far away as Lake Tahoe.¡±


    ¡°Lake Tahoe? As in California, Lake Tahoe?¡±


    ¡°Mmm hmm.¡± I drew the scent of her hair deeply into my lungs and grew drowsy.


    ¡°Wow.¡± I swore I heard disappointment in her voice and wondered, what that was about?


    ¡°I¡¯d show you some of the designs I was putting into it, but that would take turning on a light.¡± Plus I was just too tried to move off this bed and fetch much of anything right now.


    ¡°That¡¯s okay,¡± she told me as she began to pet my hair. ¡°I¡¯m sure they¡¯re amazing. You¡¯re such a talented artist.¡±


    A muscle jerked in my cheek. It¡¯d been four years since anyone had used that very term on me. Talented artist. My sister used to demand that I draw pictures of her. She¡¯d even posed in the strangest ways and screwed her face up into some comical expression. And she¡¯d said I nailed her portrait every time.


    I closed my eyes, pushing those memories away.


    ¡°I can¡¯t believe you might seriously move all the way to California.¡± Midnight Visitor scraped her nails gently across my scalp, and they were doing a serious number on my consciousness.


    Sleep soaked into my veins as I relaxed into her soft breasts. ¡°I don¡¯t know what I¡¯m going to do yet,¡± I mumbled, and then I remembered no more.


    As Oren went limp against me and I knew he¡¯d fallen asleep, I released a deep breath and slowed the progress of my fingers that were skimming through his hair.


    There was so much to swallow all of a sudden. But he was leaving? I knew it was the next logical step for someone who was graduating from college, but shit...I hadn¡¯t even considered the possibility. Because I was obviously an idiot.


    Or maybe because Oren never acted like someone who was itching to grow up and move away.


    But what was even more unnerving was the fact he¡¯d said my name when he¡¯d come. I don¡¯t think he even realized what he¡¯d done. He hadn¡¯t said anything about it afterward, and he hadn¡¯t acted strange. I grew more certain with every passing second that he didn¡¯t have a clue what he¡¯d done.


    My hands began to shake and tears welled in my eyes. Well, it had happened. My dream for him to want me as much as I wanted him had come true, but I just wanted to bawl because it was too much to take. It was too beautiful, too surreal, too...God! And two seconds later, he drops that bomb about maybe moving away, as far as California?


    What the hell was I getting myself into? I was risking the wrath and trust of my brother for an immature, man-whore jerk who was probably going to leave and break my heart. And I was doing it with my eyes wide open, because no matter how hard I told myself to run, I just couldn¡¯t leave him, not yet. I dropped my cheek to his shoulder and ran my fingers up and down his hard chest.


    ¡°I love you,¡± I whispered, glad I at least had this peaceful moment with him, a memory to carry away with me long after he was gone. But still, I had to add the quiet plea. ¡°Please don¡¯t go.¡±


    When he didn¡¯t answer, didn¡¯t even stir, I gave a sad sigh and crawled out of his warm embrace. As I left the bed, he rolled my way as if seeking me in his sleep. Pain knifed through me, but I kept going and found my clothes in the dark.


    I was tempted to flip on the night lamp so I could have one glimpse of him asleep and naked on his bed, but I didn¡¯t want to risk waking him and letting him see me, so I felt my way to the door and hurried down the dark hall toward the front room.

 Page 47

    As I walked along the sidewalk toward home, eighteen blocks from Aspen¡¯s house, I decided it would be best if Midnight Visitor had just made her last foray to Oren¡¯s bedroom.


    When I woke in the morning, I was alone. I instantly missed her and swiped out my hand to her side of the bed. The head-shaped indention in the pillow next to mine made me smile. At least I had proof she was real.


    The stinging on my back as I showered was more proof.


    ¡°What the hell?¡± I muttered, twisting and trying to feel around back there to figure out what was wrong with me. It wasn¡¯t until I¡¯d stepped out and was drying myself off that I caught a glimpse of the scratch marks on my shoulder blades and realized what the sting was. She must¡¯ve left her mark when I¡¯d gone down on her last night. She had gripped me pretty hard.


    Damn, I liked that. Grinning, I whistled as I strolled back to my room in nothing but a towel. I started to make my bed, feeling like a dork when I had to pause and lean down to smell her on my sheets. When I caught a whiff of her unique perfume, I sighed and sucked in an even deeper inhale. God, she smelled so good. I was about to crawl onto the bed and jack off to thoughts of her when I stopped myself.


    What the hell was I doing? Was I really this far gone for some chick I knew nothing about except how she felt, and smelled, and tasted...oh, and that she had an unnatural obsession for me? I must¡¯ve lost my frigging mind. I was already fixated on someone, damn it; I didn¡¯t need to add another woman to the list.


    I¡¯d let her in way too easily last night and given her some of that talking crap she¡¯d wanted. Why had I done that? We didn¡¯t need to talk. We were all about the physical. And that¡¯s all it was, I commanded myself a little more firmly. In fact, next time she texted, I was just going to ignore her. I should find some chick that I had no problem just being physical with, and my life would return to normal. No more stress drawing, no more disturbing dreams like that one I¡¯d had last night of my sister, and no more of this ¡°feelings¡± bullshit. Not for me.


    With a fistful of sheets, I ripped the covers off my bed, meaning to wash her scent off them, but then I realized I was actually following her orders to wash my bedding.


    Damn it.


    Fuck. They needed to be washed anyway. I kept tearing them from my mattress, a little more aggressively, pissed that some unnamed, faceless woman had me changing my mind so much in the past week. Dudes weren¡¯t supposed to be such mind-changers. Before I knew it, I¡¯d be growing ovaries.


    ¡°Pfft.¡± I snorted. ¡°Not likely.¡±


    When one corner of the fitted sheet wouldn¡¯t come free of the mattress after one tug, I growled and jerked it with so much pressure that I stumbled backward when it finally came free. I ended up landing on my ass with the towel I had wrapped around my waist coming free and falling by the wayside.


    But the most painful part was the hard, rock-like thing I landed on as it dug into my right butt cheek.


    ¡°Ouch. Fuck!¡±


    Bare-ass naked, I scrambled off it and spun around to notice a necklace with the gold chain bunched around a bright oval stone.


    Blinking, I sucked in a breath. ¡°Oh, hell.¡± Remembering how I¡¯d asked Midnight Visitor about her necklace last night, I swiped my thumb over the glittery green amulet. The clasp was broken, telling me it had accidently fallen off its owner.


    This was the only link I had to her. Whoever she was, emeralds were somehow important to her. It made my chest fill with accomplishment to know that, and then irritation for even wanting to know it.


    Caroline¡¯s birthday was in May, so I instantly wandered what the birthstone for May was. No, fuck. I wasn¡¯t going to associate her with Caroline any more. This woman should have her own identity, an identity I needed to dissociate myself from.


    I debated what to do. Yesterday, I would¡¯ve pulled out my phone and sent her a little message, holding her necklace for ransom until she agreed to give me what I wanted. Hell, I was still itching to do that. But I needed to get my head on straight here.


    After tossing the amulet onto my bureau, I dressed for the day. I jammed a sketchpad and a few textbooks that I might need into my backpack, and I started for the door of my bedroom, only to pause and glance down at that damn necklace.


    A split second decision later, I snatched it up and tucked it into my pocket before hightailing it out the door.


    The Blondie-Ham combo were already gone for the day; they had early-ass classes, so I took my time, raiding the kitchen. I snagged a donut and Sunny D, then headed toward campus. My first class of the day was some boring business ethics thing I tried not to sleep (too heavily) through. Next was an architectural design class and then a lunch break before architectural history.

 Page 48

    I hunted up some food at the campus deli during my free hour and then sprawled out in a big, comfy chair in the student union. I was polishing off a sub sandwich when I pulled the necklace from my pocket and fiddled with the broken clasp. Maybe I¡¯d fix it, get it back to her and then I¡¯d call it good between us. I mean, she¡¯d sounded as if it meant something important to her; I¡¯m sure she¡¯d want it back. And one last goodbye fuck couldn¡¯t hurt¡ª


    ¡°Hey, fucktard, what¡¯re you doing hanging out in here?¡± Gamble¡¯s voice made me jump right before his palm slapped me across the back of the head.


    ¡°Hey, fuck you, man,¡± I muttered, dodging my face to the side, in case he went after me again. ¡°I¡¯m eating my lunch, what does it look like I¡¯m doing?¡±


    Gam slumped into a matching chair across from me and instantly groaned, throwing his head back as if in the throes of ecstasy. ¡°Damn, these things are comfortable.¡±


    I screwed my face into a grimace. ¡°Dude, stop molesting the poor chair. Seriously.¡± Not really realizing what I was doing until it was too late, I wound back my arm and threw whatever was in my hand at him, nailing him in the center of the chest. Perfect shot.


    ¡°Ouch. What the hell?¡± He rubbed the spot and picked up the necklace.


    I froze and silently hissed every curse word I knew in my head. But what the fuck had I just done?


    Gamble stared at the emerald in his palm before he blinked and lifted his face. ¡°What¡¯re you doing with Caroline¡¯s necklace?¡±


    I stared at him.


    ¡°What?¡± I somehow found the voice to ask. I shook my head, confused. But Caroline¡¯s necklace?


    Caroline¡¯s necklace?


    Gamble narrowed his eyes suspiciously and wrapped his fingers slowly around the amulet. ¡°Why the fuck do you have my sister¡¯s necklace?¡±


    I didn¡¯t know what to say. Fuck, I didn¡¯t even know what to think.


    My gaze dropped to his fisted hand and blood rushed to my head. Finally, I pointed. ¡°No. No, that¡¯s not...¡± I had to shake my head again, unable to even fathom it. ¡°That¡¯s not hers.¡± It couldn¡¯t be. ¡°I... I...¡± I looked at my best friend blindly, but all I saw was his sister¡¯s face. Her blue eyes. Her nose. Fuck, they even had similar lips. My hands began to shake. ¡°Are you sure that¡¯s hers?¡±


    There had to be a mistake. Caroline was not Midnight Visitor, no matter how much I¡¯d initially thought she could be.


    But then, Jesus, I sprang instant wood over the very idea. Shaking my head some more, I gaped at her brother, waiting for him to change his mind.


    ¡°Hell, yes it¡¯s hers,¡± he said. ¡°I know the only piece of jewelry she ever wears. I even had her birthday engraved on the back before I gave it to her.¡± He flipped it over to show me, and I had to crawl out of my cushiony seat to step forward and take it from his hand.


    I flipped the emerald over. ¡°Fuck me,¡± I blurted out. I hadn¡¯t even noticed the day May 24th engraved on the back. I looked up blindly at my best friend. ¡°You gave this to her,¡± I then stupidly repeated.


    But oh, holy, holy shit. This was bad. This was incredibly bad.


    I¡¯m sure he could see all the guilt on my face because he scowled and yanked it out of my hand. ¡°Of course, I gave it to her. It was for her sixteenth birthday. Emeralds are her birthstone.¡±


    My head must¡¯ve turned into a pendulum because it kept shaking back and forth in total denial. But this was insane. Totally unreal. Caroline really was my midnight visitor? Impossible. In no realm of reality would all my dreams coming true like this even be feasible. ¡°But I¡¯ve never seen her wear it,¡± I argued, because...shit. I could not let myself believe it was truly true.


    Gamble turned the stone in his hand to run his thumb over the emerald. ¡°That¡¯s because she wears it under her shirt. She¡¯s always been worried about losing it.¡±


    My throat felt like it sank into my stomach because I suddenly couldn¡¯t talk. I sat back in my chair, feeling...shit, I don¡¯t even know what I felt.


    Feelings sucked ass.


    Gamble seared me with an accusing glare. ¡°Care to explain why you have this?¡±


    No. I shook my head. ¡°I thought it was...¡± Crap. Think. ¡°Hamilton¡¯s woman¡¯s. I...I found it on the couch...in our apartment. I saw it was broken, so I was going to fix it and get it back to Zo¡ªBlondie.¡±


    Fuck, I really was losing it. I¡¯d almost called Blondie by her real name. Panic and shock were making me undoubtedly loopy.


    I shrugged what hopefully looked like a careless signal and motioned to the necklace. ¡°But if you¡¯re sure it¡¯s Caroline¡¯s, she must¡¯ve dropped it there some time or other when she was over visiting Ham¡¯s woman.¡±

 Page 49

    Gamble nodded, and a knowing look entered his eyes. ¡°You really have a thing for her, don¡¯t you?¡±


    I couldn¡¯t breathe. I didn¡¯t know what to say. Shit, I was a split second from passing out.


    Instead of leaping across the rug between us to strangle me with his bare hands, though, Gamble let a sly smirk spread across his face and he shook his finger. ¡°I knew it! I knew the moment I caught you drawing her name the other day. Designing a tattoo for Quinn, my ass. You want his woman.¡±


    I pulled back in surprise, not expecting him to say that. ¡°Excuse me?¡±


    He just kept nodding as if he was so sure he was right. ¡°Yeah, I knew something was up when you let her move in with you guys after you wouldn¡¯t even let Cora stay overnight.¡±


    Growling, I muttered, ¡°I didn¡¯t let that whore stay overnight with Hamilton because I hated her fucking bitch guts and I was afraid she¡¯d try to crawl out of his bed one night and right into mine. I don¡¯t have to worry about that with Blondie. She actually has morals.¡±


    ¡°Wow, you¡¯ve fallen hard for her, haven¡¯t you?¡± Gamble shook his head as if amazed. ¡°I never thought I¡¯d see the day. Ten¡¯s in love.¡±


    ¡°I am not!¡± I snorted and shook my head. ¡°You¡¯re fucking crazy.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry.¡± The bastard¡¯s grin just wouldn¡¯t die. ¡°I won¡¯t tell Quinn.¡±


    ¡°Whatever.¡± I rolled my eyes and decided to just ignore him. Except that didn¡¯t work, so I exploded. ¡°You won¡¯t tell him because there¡¯s nothing to tell. You¡¯re completely fucking wrong. I am not into Blondie.¡± My gaze slid to his hand still holding that necklace captive, and I had to curl my fingers into fists to keep from diving at him and taking it back.


    It belonged to my midnight visitor, to Caroline. I didn¡¯t want him touching it.


    ¡°I knew something was off about you lately,¡± he murmured, nodded his head. ¡°You haven¡¯t been as annoying and crude as your usual self. I should¡¯ve known a woman was involved.¡±


    Well, he was close. Just not close enough. ¡°You¡¯re delusional, man.¡± Pissed that I wasn¡¯t getting her necklace back, I stood and slung one strap of my book bag over my shoulder. Then I tossed the last of my sandwich in a nearby trash can. ¡°I¡¯m not going to sit here and listen to this shit. I don¡¯t want Blondie. I have no plans of stealing Ham¡¯s woman. And I have been as perfectly crude and annoying as usual.¡± To prove that last part true, I kicked his foot as I passed him and leaned in to call him the dirtiest, most offensive thing I could think of.


    And then I was out of there.


    But as soon as I stepped into the April air, I felt even more claustrophobic than I had inside. The panic crowding my chest sucked the oxygen straight from my lungs, until I was nearly gasping for breath. I turned in a slow circle, trying to focus on the blurry images of buildings and trees around me. But I just felt like passing out.


    Blindly, I pulled my phone from my pocket, and then I drew in a few deep breaths before I could concentrate enough to focus. After scrolling through the contact list, I shook my head, mystified. I still had Caroline¡¯s number in my address book, and it was a different number than Midnight Visitor¡¯s.


    See, they couldn¡¯t be the same person.


    Caroline had just gone into my room at some point and dropped her necklace, and that was all. Not that I knew what the hell she would¡¯ve been doing in my room in the first place, but it was plausible...except I¡¯d felt it on Midnight Visitor last night and even asked her about it. And she hadn¡¯t told me about its importance because, Jesus, it¡¯d been a gift from her brother, my best goddamn friend on earth.


    Oh, fuck. My vision went black around the edges as I took in the possibility that it really had been Caroline. Stone hard, my dick twitched in my pants, and my skin buzzed with awareness.


    Had I fucked Caroline?


    The best sex of my life. The way she¡¯d called me Oren. The way she¡¯d sparred with me and gotten into my head.


    Jesus, I was so stupid. No one got under my skin the way she did. Why had I even entertained the notion that two different women could affect me the same exact way?


    Probably because I¡¯d wanted to believe she was someone else, someone I could actually be with.


    I buried my face into my hands and concentrated on breathing. But my body was on fire, I was afraid I might come in my pants. I needed answers, more answers, good solid answers, or I was going to drive myself insane.


    Logging into my phone again, I texted Midnight Visitor. Tonight.

 Page 50

    She replied almost immediately, which made my blood race to watch a message from her pop up. What? No ¡®please¡¯? I don¡¯t feel very inspired to say yes.


    Damn, that was such a smart-ass Caroline retort. Why had I not let myself realize that?


    My cock pulsed hard. I wanted it to be her so bad, and then again, I didn¡¯t. Everything would change if she was Caroline. It¡¯d no longer be fun, meaningless hot sex. But then, it was already more than that, wasn¡¯t it? This woman had captured my complete attention without me even realizing what was going on. And I still wanted more from her.


    Gritting my teeth, I began to type.


    I¡¯m already throbbing for you. Don¡¯t wear panties unless you want me to rip them off in inventive new ways, because I¡¯m going to take you HARD as soon as you step into my room. You wanted it dark. Well, prepare for the darkest, grittiest, most sinful sex of your life.


    After I shot that note off, I waited, chewing on my bottom lip. When she answered, I blew out a relieved breath.


    Okay, I¡¯m inspired.


    I grinned. Prepare to be sore tomorrow. Lick you later, baby.


    She didn¡¯t respond, and I didn¡¯t want her to. I was too busy scrolling back up to the C¡¯s in my contact list. When I pulled up Caroline¡¯s information, I typed in a new message. What¡¯re you wearing¡­I mean, doing?


    If she was Midnight Visitor, she¡¯d already have her phone open, unless she had two phones. I shook my head. Nah. She¡¯d probably just gotten one of those Google Voice numbers.


    And, shit, why the hell hadn¡¯t I thought up that idea before?


    Twenty seconds passed and disappointment filled me. Maybe Caroline wasn¡¯t Midnight Visitor after all.


    Shit. I¡¯d just been getting into the idea, too.


    But then my phone dinged, and my heart lurched.


    Why? she said.


    ¡°Because I¡¯m about to figure out all your secrets, woman.¡± A smile slipped onto my face. But instead of telling her that, I wrote, I¡¯m bored.


    I envisioned her reading this and giving an irritated sigh. My delight grew.


    I¡¯m at the library with Zwinn.


    Zwinn?


    Quinn and Zoey. You know...Zwinn.


    Hmm. I liked that name shipped for them. Jealous I hadn¡¯t thought it up myself, I started toward the library even as I keyed in a reply. A threesome? Kinky.


    A typical smutty Oren answer? Unimpressed.


    I laughed. Damn, I loved her smart-ass wit. Give me twenty-four hours, and I¡¯ll find a way to impress you. Guaranteed.


    Not interested, she wrote back.


    ¡°Oh, but you will be,¡± I murmured. Pocketing my phone, I bounded up the steps to the front door and pulled it open. I¡¯d never been in the campus library before, so I wandered aimlessly for a minute before I found her and the two love doves cozied up at a study table together. After approaching her from behind, I leaned in and whispered into her ear. ¡°Too late, little girl. Prepare to have your mind blown.¡±


    Caroline jumped and whirled around to gape up at me. ¡°What? What the hell are you talking about?¡±


    ¡°Our phone conversation just now.¡± When her eyes flickered, I wondered which conversation she was thinking about. I blinked innocently and added, ¡°I believe you issued me a challenge to impress you. And I¡¯ve accepted it. I am going to amaze you...probably before you even get to sleep tonight.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± She rolled her eyes. ¡°I thought you were talking in your usual, uncouth sexual innuendo speak.¡±


    I winked at her. ¡°Wow, you have a dirty mind today.¡± I watched her face as I uttered those carefully chosen words. No memory of our other phone conversation flickered across her expression, though. She merely blinked at me.


    Unfazed by her refusal to react, I unzipped my bag and instead of pulling out textbooks to study from, I found a banana and bottle of Powerade. The appetite Gamble had killed minutes ago suddenly roared back to life. Not surprising; I always felt vividly alert around Caroline.


    ¡°You know, not everything I do or say revolves around sex,¡± I told her, picking our conversation back up.


    Her gaze tracked the banana¡¯s progress as I unpeeled it and stuck the end into my mouth. Her eyebrows lifted as she watched. ¡°Really?¡±


    I almost choked as I chewed. ¡°Jesus, are you sure everything¡¯s not a sexual innuendo with you? Wow, I was just eating a snack, not giving some imaginary guy head. And FYI, I only get, not give blow jobs.¡±


    Grinding her teeth, she slapped her book closed and glared. ¡°Why the hell are you here, bothering us?¡±


    I turned to Zwinn for the first time since arriving. They were staring at me quite openly, probably wondering why I was being even more annoying than usual. ¡°Am I bothering you two?¡±

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    Blondie instantly nodded. ¡°A little bit, yeah.¡±


    ¡°Big time,¡± Quinn answered right behind her.


    I turned away from them. They were no help. But Caroline had already eased her book open again and had her head tipped down as she studied the text. Her pale tresses had a slight wave today that flowed over her shoulder to obstruct her face. I had to shift in my seat to readjust the pinching constraints of my jeans because I was growing so aroused. But staring at that hair only reminded me of how much she liked having it pulled.


    Had my fingers really been buried in all that gorgeous blonde as I¡¯d pounded into her?


    A moan tried to crawl up my throat. I quickly covered it with a cough. She continued to ignore me. So I openly stared. She picked up a pen and jotted down some notes on the notebook beside her text. My gaze fell to her slim fingers. Had they been wrapped around the base of me last night, tugging until I¡¯d come in her mouth? They could¡¯ve been. And thinking they had been only shot a throb of pure longing through me.


    I couldn¡¯t wait until tonight. Tonight, both her life and mine would change forever.


    Finishing my banana, I played with the peel as I glanced around for a nearby trash can. My fingers came across the produce label sticker on it. After peeling the sticker away from the yellow skin, I leaned in and pressed it to the back of Caroline¡¯s hand where she was still busy writing.


    It totally messed up whatever word she was trying to spell. ¡°What the hell?¡± She jerked her hand away. ¡°I¡¯m writing here.¡±


    I winked. ¡°Now you can¡¯t say I never gave you anything.¡±


    ¡°Oh, gee. Thank you. I¡¯ll treasure it always.¡± The dry sarcasm in her voice and plastered across her face told me I hadn¡¯t managed to impress her yet. But the day was still young.


    ¡°Really?¡± I arched an eyebrow. ¡°Twenty bucks says you won¡¯t even be wearing it tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°Oh my God. You really are bored, aren¡¯t you?¡±


    Not even a little bit. I merely smiled at my fly as I finished weaving the web I was going to use to trap her. ¡°What? Twenty bucks, Caroline. Sounds like an easy bet to me. Or does my gift just not mean that much to you?¡± I pressed a hand to my heart and pretended to look hurt.


    She rolled her eyes.


    One of these days I was going to count how many times I could make her roll her eyes in a single conversation. There had to be a world record for that shit, didn¡¯t there?


    ¡°Fine,¡± she muttered. ¡°But you better pay up.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I will.¡±


    As Oren slid out of his chair and strolled away, I stared after him, wondering what had just happened. His cheerful whistle echoed back to me before he turned a corner and disappeared out of sight.


    I spun toward Zwinn as I pointed after him. ¡°What was that about?¡±


    While Zoey shrugged, Quinn said, ¡°He must know.¡±


    I flashed my teeth. ¡°He doesn¡¯t know.¡±


    He couldn¡¯t know, though it probably wouldn¡¯t take a genius to figure out who I was. All he¡¯d have to do was flip on a light. Maybe he¡¯d followed me last night after I¡¯d left. Maybe he¡¯d finally recognized my voice. Or maybe Quinn was putting thoughts into my head.


    Oren hadn¡¯t let on to Midnight Visitor that he knew anything when he¡¯d just texted her. And what was up with that, anyway, texting and coming to see me right after he¡¯d texted her? Unless...no, I don¡¯t think he knew.


    Unless he did.


    Crap, I didn¡¯t know what to think anymore. I hated being this confused.


    I hated how easily I¡¯d let Midnight Visitor accept that invitation from him too. But that probably had something more to do with the dirty, dark, sinful way he promised to take me. God, I was way too easy for letting sex get in the way of my common sense. But it wasn¡¯t just my hormones moaning for him; my silly, stupid heart was also pro-Oren. Denying him was frankly impossible, no matter how much I tried to encourage myself that a good, healthy no was the way to go.


    ¡°I gotta go,¡± I told Zwinn as I slapped my textbook closed. No way could I study now. I had a night with Oren to look forward to.


    A night of dark delights.


    Dark. Hmm, I suddenly wondered why he so easily let me keep the lights out when I came to him. I know he¡¯d said he liked the game of not knowing who I was, but it¡¯d been his idea to keep it dark the first night I¡¯d come to him, butting into his plans with Kelly. Maybe that rumor was actually true. He only did it that way.


    But...why?


    You¡¯d think he was trying to hide something; a deformity or scar or something. Except Oren Tenning was not a modest guy. I¡¯d seen him whip off his shirt numerous times...all glorious, breath taking moments too. I¡¯d seen him in shorts¡ªreally short shorts that showed off the muscle and golden tan of his toned thighs. He had no problem exposing his sculpted, athletic body. The only things I hadn¡¯t seen was his cock...or his tush. I doubted he had anything wrong with his tush, though; I¡¯d seen it molded too perfectly to the back of his snug football tights. There was definitely no deformity there.

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    That only left his junk. Frowning, I shook my head. No. That part of him hadn¡¯t felt strange or deformed. And it sure as hell hadn¡¯t felt too small, in case he was worried that his size didn¡¯t measure up to his huge ego. The way he had to stretch me to get inside, I knew he easily had to be twice as big as Sander.


    I flushed and glanced around me, hoping no one knew just how wet I was, or how hard my nipples were. But, geesh, this was so embarrassing. How could Oren Tenning turn me on so fully without even being around?


    I cleared my throat and started toward my next class, even though I was too early for it. I needed some kind of destination because my mind was wandering way too much.


    Seriously, though. What was he hiding? If his dick was perfectly formed and sized, then was it a strange color, covered in spots, zebra stripes?


    I snorted. I had to stop daydreaming about Oren¡¯s cock. I¡¯m sure his preference for lights-off sex had more to do with emotional reasons than physical ones¡ªlike a spotted dick¡ªanyway.


    Maybe...ooh, maybe he liked to pretend he was with someone else¡ªlike, ahem, me¡ªso he took pains not to see his partner¡¯s face. He¡¯d already admitted that he liked not knowing who I was so that scenario actually made sense.


    I grinned, liking that idea. Yeah, I was the reason behind his strange darkness fetish. Sure.


    She wore panties.


    I had to rip them off her with my teeth. She gasped, but even as the cotton tore, her hips surged up to meet the first dip of my tongue between her pussy lips.


    ¡°Oh God.¡± She gripped my hair as she groaned.


    I ate her without mercy, not even pausing between licks as I went straight to the little nub of muscle that had her immediately squirming, and straining, and panting. Her fingers fisted in my hair and she pulled my mouth harder against her. Her smell and taste flooded my senses. I was so hyperaware of every fucking detail, knowing I was going down on Caroline.


    My cock pulsed as I thrust two fingers in her. She started coming almost immediately, her body bowing up, her breath catching, her tight little channel pulsing around my digits. I nearly jizzed in my shorts as she cried out. It seemed to last forever too. My tongue kept massaging just one more shudder out of her. I couldn¡¯t seem to stop licking. But then her hands lost their grip in my hair and her thighs loosened around my ears.


    Phase one complete. Phase two ready to begin.


    ¡°Damn, you taste good. Remind me to come back for dessert in a minute here.¡±


    Picking up her legs as I crawled up her body, I pinned her knees up by her ears so she had no control of those long, luscious limbs.


    Tonight, I held all the control.


    ¡°You¡¯re going to need to hold on to me for this next part,¡± I told her, keeping her legs in place with my torso as I found her hands and interlaced our fingers. Then I kissed her. Our tongues mated; I wondered what she thought of her own taste. She moaned with approval, so I ran my thumbs along the backs of her hands as I kicked my way out of my shorts. I already had my condom on, ready to go.


    When the pad of my thumb encountered the banana sticker I¡¯d put on her earlier in the library, I groaned and had to let go of the kiss to press my forehead to hers.


    But fuck. I really was with Caroline. There was no way to dispute it now. My body became a live wire. I was so ready to explode inside her I feared I might come before I even slid in.


    Still playing with the sticker, I let my thumb begin to peel it away.


    ¡°Hey.¡± She struggled against me, trying to stop me. But I had her neatly pinned into place.


    ¡°Oh, whatever,¡± I said into her ear. ¡°You and I both know I was never going to pay you that twenty dollars.¡±


    She gasped and tensed under me. ¡°Oh my God.¡±


    I thrust into her, absorbing her shock and relishing it, taking advantage of it to kiss her again. Clamping my fingers around her wrists, I trapped her to the bed. My torso still held her thighs up and immobile, stretching her until she felt extra tight around me while I had deeper access.


    ¡°Fuuuuuck.¡± I groaned and pressed my forehead back to hers, pumping my hips hard and fast. ¡°I love being inside you. Damn, you feel so good.¡±


    ¡°Oren,¡± she sobbed, her breath catching as her muscles contracted around me. ¡°Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod.¡±


    ¡°Already?¡± I taunted. ¡°So soon? But didn¡¯t you just come, like, thirty seconds ago?¡±


    ¡°Shut up.¡± She tried to buck me off, but not very effectively because she was too busy trying to keep herself from coming again. ¡°I...hate...you.¡± Then she gave a long, strained moan as her orgasm took over.

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    My eyes about rolled into the back of my head. It robbed me of everything I had not to explode with her. But I wanted to torture her for as long as possible. When the best of her quakes were over and she was panting and limp under me, I sat up enough to let her legs go. She immediately stretched them out. But I kept moving in and out of her until she sobbed out a sound.


    ¡°I can¡¯t. Please.¡±


    Poor girl. She was already worn out. Didn¡¯t think she could possibly come again. Well, it was time to show her how wrong she was.


    Grasping her hips, I rolled us across the bed until she was on top. When I urged her to sit up, she gave a little groan of protest. ¡°Oren, I can¡¯t.¡±


    Gripping her face between my hands, I whispered a harsh hiss. ¡°Damn it, Caroline. You started this. You came to me and tricked me into playing with you. Now you have me. Your brother is going to kill us both for this, so you better make it worth our while. You better sit up there and fuck me like you meant to the first night you came into this room, wearing no panties.¡±


    ¡°Oh God.¡± She groaned a microsecond before her mouth crashed against mine. Her fingers caged my face and her pelvis ground down against mine. She went crazy, kissing me hard and dirty, pawing at my skin, bouncing up and down on my lap. It sent me right over the edge, losing my shit and exploding deep inside her. She followed me into oblivion, grinding down as if to eek every last ounce of orgasm out of both of us. We kissed open-mouthed and clutched each other hard.


    Once my cock released its last drop, I rolled us again until I was back on top. Staying inside her, I kept kissing her, thrusting my tongue and cupping her face, mating my mouth with Caroline¡¯s.


    Caroline¡¯s mouth.


    I groaned and deepened the kiss with slow, wet, lazy strokes, connecting with her in ways I¡¯d never connected with anyone. Tonight was technically our first official kiss. I couldn¡¯t remember if we¡¯d had any mouth-to-mouth action our first two nights together. But then, now I knew without a doubt it was her, and she knew that I knew it was her, and that changed everything.


    We didn¡¯t come up for air. We breathed each other in, lips locked until she finally pulled her face away, gasping for breath.


    ¡°Oren,¡± she panted and pressed her brow to my shoulder. ¡°I can¡¯t believe you know¡ª¡±


    ¡°Shut up.¡± With a savage snarl, I kissed her again, pushing my tongue in ruthlessly, and making her whimper before she eagerly latched back around it and sucked it into her mouth.


    We seemed to duel then, fighting each other for more passion, for...hell, I didn¡¯t even know what.


    ¡°Fuck,¡± I muttered, breaking away to slap the mattress beside us. ¡°Fuck, fuck, fuck. I can¡¯t believe it¡¯s really you.¡±


    I sat up, needing space to clear my head, but as I ran my fingers through my hair, I could still taste her.


    I reached out and flipped on the light, making her gasp and blink, then lift her hand to shade her sensitive eyes.


    ¡°Oh, Jesus.¡± A strange sob tore from my chest. She was so infuriatingly gorgeous. Her hair was a snarled mess from my hands, but it¡¯d never looked better. Her breasts that seemed perfect when they were tucked away inside a shirt, were even better bare and marred with beard burn. Damn, her entire body was just...I started to grow hard again. She was flawless.


    I clutched my hair with both hands. ¡°Fucking goddamn shit motherfucker. It really is you.¡±


    Scowling at me, she yanked my newly clean sheets up to cover her amazing tits. ¡°Well, I am so sorry to disappoint you.¡±


    Her chin lifted regally and I wanted to kiss her so bad, but I was rocking my anger¡ªor more aptly, my fear¡ªtoo strongly to give into that urge.


    ¡°I¡¯m not disappointed,¡± I bit out, frankly incredulous that she could even think that. ¡°I¡¯m pissed as hell. I promised¡ªI fucking promised¡ªyour brother that I would never touch you.¡±


    I swear, a microsecond of guilt flashed across her face before her eyes narrowed. ¡°Well, you can relax. You didn¡¯t touch me. I touched you, remember? I tricked you and came to you; you had no idea¡ª¡±


    I snorted, cutting her off as I shook my head. ¡°Yeah...I have a feeling Gamble won¡¯t see it that way.¡±


    Flopping back against my pillow, I stared up at the ceiling and wondered how the hell I was going to come out of this unscathed. ¡°I¡¯m dead,¡± I said more to myself than her. ¡°I¡¯m so fucking dead.¡± Moaning out my predicament, I ran my hands over my face. ¡°Christ, Caroline. He¡¯s going to fucking kill me.¡±


    Ashamed, I bit my lip and turned my attention away from Oren, who was slaughtering me with his perfectly logical accusations.

 Page 54

    But really, how could I have done this to him? I¡¯d put him in the worst situation ever. He loved and respected Noel; he¡¯d never want to betray my brother this way. But I¡¯d ignored all that for my own selfish needs. I couldn¡¯t believe what a bitch I was.


    Biting my lip, I fought off tears and tried to think up a good enough apology when I noticed the banana sticker he¡¯d put on my hand earlier.


    I blinked, staring hard. He¡¯d known who I was when he¡¯d put that there, hadn¡¯t he? He¡¯d known who I was when he¡¯d called Midnight Visitor and arranged tonight¡¯s rendezvous. He¡¯d known who I was when I¡¯d walked into his room tonight, and he¡¯d grabbed me around the waist from behind and carried me to his bed where he¡¯d tossed me onto the mattress. He¡¯d known the entire time he¡¯d ripped off my clothes and put his mouth and hands on me.


    That bastard had known, and he was sitting there casting judgment on me?


    I clenched my teeth. ¡°If you¡¯re so mad at me for tricking you, then why did you wait until you were inside me to tell me you knew?¡±


    The question threw him off his game. His hands fell away from his head as he blinked up at me. ¡°Because I¡¯m a guy?¡± He phrased it more as a question than an answer.


    I snorted. ¡°Bullshit. Bull freaking shit. You¡¯ve wanted me just as much as I¡¯ve wanted you, and for just as long as I¡¯ve wanted you, too, I bet.¡±


    Growling as he sat upright, he scowled back at me. ¡°Well, obviously I have more impulse control than you do, because I was planning on never acting on those urges. Gamble is one of the best friends I ever had. And the only thing he ever asked me not to do was you. I fully planned on respecting his wishes, damn it. I do not want to betray my best friend.¡±


    I lost my grip on the sheet I was holding up to cover my chest when I set my hands on my hips. ¡°Oh, don¡¯t even pretend to act all holier than thou to me. I will take culpability for the first two nights, but not tonight. And no, you obviously don¡¯t have any more impulse control than I do, because you still slept with me again after finding out who I was.¡±


    When I realized his attention had dropped to my bare chest, I lifted the sheet again. He grabbed them as well, and used the cloth between us to yank me close until we were only inches apart. His eyes flared with anger and heat and his teeth gritted in outrage, right before he said, ¡°Only because two nights with you is not fucking enough.¡±


    Then his mouth attacked mine. I opened for him and kissed him back, hard and hot. He kneaded my breasts, his grip slightly rough, reminding me of the times he¡¯d pulled my hair. I liked it when he wasn¡¯t so gentle. When he was consumed with a mindless, ravenous passion.


    I started to wind my legs around his waist when he jumped back, cursing and wiping the back of his hand across his mouth.


    ¡°Damn it,¡± he muttered. His face was flushed and eyes were wild and glassy. ¡°Damn it, we can¡¯t do this again.¡±


    The metaphorical slap of cold water did not feel good. ¡°Oh my God, will you stop going from hot to cold and just make up your damn mind already? Do you want me or not?¡±


    His eyes flared as he looked into my face. ¡°You know I want you. That¡¯s the problem. I want you but I can¡¯t have you.¡±


    I set my hands on my hips. ¡°Well, you already have had me. Repeatedly. And you¡¯ve had me when you knew good and well who I was. We¡¯ve already established how thoroughly you can have me. The question is...are you going to keep me?¡±


    His Adam¡¯s apple bobbed nervously as he swallowed. His eyes grew haunted and tempted as he gazed over my body. Then he squeezed his eyes closed and gritted out, ¡°No.¡±


    My eyes filled with tears. I gulped in air, trying to dry them before he opened his lashes, when they flashed up as if he could hear my agony.


    Immediate regret clouded his face. ¡°Caroline.¡± He started to reach for me, but I held up a hand.


    ¡°No. Just stop right now. I¡¯m done. I¡¯m out. You and your stupid spotted dick can just go to hell.¡±


    He froze. ¡°My spotted...what? Shit.¡± He glanced wildly around the room before hissing, ¡°I¡¯m going to kill her.¡±


    When his face drained of color, I frowned. ¡°Huh?¡±


    He didn¡¯t even hear my question as he ranted on to himself. ¡°I cannot believe Blondie told you about that.¡± His gaze seared into mine, suddenly intense and desperate. ¡°And it¡¯s not spotted like there¡¯s a bunch of dots. It¡¯s one fucking birthmark. That¡¯s it.¡±


    I shook my head. ¡°What the hell are you talking about?¡±

 Page 55

    ¡°Wait.¡± His eyes flared with shock. ¡°You mean...ah, fuck. She didn¡¯t tell you, did she?¡±


    ¡°Tell me what?¡± I let out a strange laugh. ¡°You don¡¯t really have a spotted dick, do you? I mean, I thought up that scenario because you¡¯ll only do it in the dark and that¡¯s really the only part of your body you haven¡¯t shown off in public to, like, everyone. It was just a...theory.¡± My eyes began to grow wide as I realized how strangely he was watching me. ¡°But, wow...¡± I blew out a long breath. ¡°It¡¯s true, isn¡¯t it? You honestly have a spotted¡ª¡±


    ¡°Birthmark,¡± he growled. ¡°One fucking birthmark.¡± When he glanced away, I noticed how pale he was. ¡°One...really big birthmark.¡±


    ¡°So I was right?¡± I laughed out loud. ¡°That¡¯s incredible. I am so awesome.¡±


    His scowl totally disagreed with me.


    I cleared my throat and calmed down because the topic clearly unsettled him. ¡°Sorry. I just...I knew there had to be a reason you¡¯d only do it in the dark, and...¡± I shook my head. ¡°Does that actually work? I mean, none of the girls I overheard gossiping about you in the bathroom mentioned it, and they mentioned everything else, so I¡¯m sure they would¡¯ve. I can¡¯t believe no one you¡¯ve been with before has ever seen it.¡±


    He shrugged one of those uncomfortable, I-don¡¯t-want-to-talk-about-it shrugs and wouldn¡¯t meet my gaze. ¡°Two other girls have seen it¡­besides Blondie.¡±


    My back straightened. ¡°And why has Zoey seen your penis?¡±


    He opened his mouth to answer but paused when he saw my face. His lips quirked into a smirk. ¡°Are you jealous? Of Blondie?¡±


    I sniffed and sent him a glower. ¡°No.¡±


    Yes, totally.


    His grin only grew. ¡°She walked in on me in the shower once; thought I was Hamilton.¡± Smile suddenly dimming, he glanced away. ¡°To say the least, she totally flipped out. So did the other two.¡±


    I don¡¯t know why it bothered me that three women had seen his penis, but it really, really did. I pulled back, my chest tight with pain, even as I forced casualness into my voice. ¡°Oh, yeah? How¡¯d they freak out?¡±


    ¡°How do you think?¡± His gaze was hard and penetrating. Then he gave a hard, sniff-like, self-derisive laugh and shrugged. ¡°The first time was...well, my first time. I didn¡¯t even think about hiding it or being ashamed. I didn¡¯t know it was a fucking abnormality. Everyone in my family knew about it and had seen me run around naked when I was younger. No one ever told me, ¡®Hey, this could totally freak out some girl later on in your life.¡¯¡±


    ¡°So, she didn¡¯t see it until after you two had...?¡± I motioned with my hands, wondering why I was talking about this with him while we were naked and in bed together, arguing about completely unrelated, more-important things¡­like our possible future together.


    ¡°Right,¡± he said.


    ¡°What¡¯d she do?¡± I think the only reason I could ask was because I knew it had ended badly for him. If I had known he¡¯d had a good time with her, I wouldn¡¯t have been able to ask at all.


    ¡°She screamed. Then she demanded to know what the hell was wrong with me and if it was contagious and...you know.¡± He glanced away, pale and serious. ¡°All that shit.¡±


    I snorted. ¡°What a bitch.¡±


    His gaze zipped back to me. ¡°She was only sixteen.¡±


    That still didn¡¯t excuse her in my book. She¡¯d traumatized my Oren. The bitch must die...in my head anyway. I pictured myself pushing her off the side of a bridge and listening to her scream all the way down until...oops, she wasn¡¯t screaming anymore.


    And yikes, I really did have issues, didn¡¯t I?


    ¡°And the next girl?¡±


    ¡°Tianna,¡± he said.


    I seized up inside, not liking that I knew one of his past sluts¡¯ names.


    Tianna, Tianna. The big, fat bitch-anna, I sang in my head.


    ¡°She gave good head,¡± he went on, and yep, I really didn¡¯t like knowing that. But he didn¡¯t seem to know I was in the room anymore; he was trapped in a memory. ¡°And she seemed okay with doing it in the dark until one night she pulled her cell phone out and turned on the light so she could see what she was doing.¡±


    ¡°And she flipped out, too,¡± I guessed.


    Oren nodded. ¡°Oh, yeah. Big time. Called me a freak and threatened to cut off my pecker if I¡¯d given her an STD. All kinds of lovely shit. I actually had to blackmail that one to keep her trap shut about it.¡± He let out a small, depressed sigh. ¡°She still really hates me.¡±

 Page 56

    In a split second, I went from crazy jealous to heartbroken with sympathy. But seriously, what was wrong with all the whores who¡¯d seen him? How could they treat such a sensitive area so callously?


    ¡°I want to see it,¡± I blurted out.


    ¡°What?¡± He sent me an incredulous glance. ¡°No. Besides, you¡¯re not supposed to see me like this ever again.¡± As if suddenly remembering that part of his vow he¡¯d made himself only minutes ago, he grabbed the sheets and lifted them to cover himself to his chin.


    I rolled my eyes, but then grinned and crawled toward him. ¡°Oh, come on. Please. I promise I won¡¯t upset you with my reaction.¡±


    He crab crawled away from me, shaking his head vigorously. ¡°No fucking way on earth. Even Blondie freaked out when she saw it. And she¡¯s like the last person ever who¡¯d hurt someone with her reaction to their...differences.¡±


    ¡°Well, I already know to expect something different, so it¡¯s not going to take me by surprise.¡±


    He glanced away, and the panic on his face almost killed me. ¡°It¡¯s really bright purplish red and looks like a blood vein popped or something. And it looks worse when I¡¯m soft.¡±


    I lifted my eyebrows, intrigued. ¡°Really? Then I guess we should make it hard before I see it at its best, huh?¡± Reaching down, I found him through the sheet and wrapped my hand around his cock. When he jerked in my palm, I tsked at him to behave. ¡°And bright purplish red is actually one of my favorite colors.¡±


    He looked at me, his expression full of so much uncertainty, but I swear I also saw an ache as if he wanted to believe me, as if he wanted to trust me with the most vulnerable part of himself. ¡°Caroline.¡± The way he rasped my name and hardened even more under my touch made me hum with delight.


    I leaned in to kiss him, my hand working up and down his steadily growing length through the sheet. He kissed me back, spiking his tongue deep in my mouth. When he groaned and cupped my face in his fingers and the sheet dropped from between us, I knew my distraction had worked.


    I ripped the covers off him at the same moment I tore my mouth from his and looked down.


    ¡°Damn it.¡± He sucked in a breath and fisted his hand over his mouth before turning his face aside.


    ¡°Oh!¡± Genuine surprise littered my voice. ¡°It¡¯s bigger than I thought it¡¯d be.¡± Then I smoothed my thumb over the mark that had caused him so much grief and added, ¡°So¡¯s the birthmark.¡±


    He turned and looked at me. I grinned at him as innocently as I could. Reluctant amusement finally entered his eyes. Then he let out a short laugh and glanced away. His cheeks were a little flushed though, so I knew he was still embarrassed. Wanting to put him at absolute ease, I leaned down until I was lying on my belly and eye level with his lap.


    ¡°It kind of reminds me of one of those Rorschach test things. Which image do you see in the inkblot. Hmm...¡± I pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth as I examined him fully. ¡°I see...West Virginia. Or a really strange, misshapen sperm. No. I like West Virginia better.¡±


    When I glanced up at him, he just blinked at me as if he couldn¡¯t figure me out at all. ¡°What?¡± I asked.


    He slowly buried his fingers in my hair. ¡°You don¡¯t have to pretend it¡¯s okay if you don¡¯t want to. If it wigs you out, just say so.¡±


    I crinkled my face with confusion. ¡°Why would a birthmark wig me out? Seriously, Oren.¡± I went back to examining my Rorschach test. But, nope, all I could see was the state of West Virginia¡­on a really big, yummy-looking cock. ¡°You know, this is probably the only time I¡¯d be able to fit an entire state into my mouth.¡±


    When all of Oren¡¯s stomach muscles tensed, I smiled smugly. Then I leaned in and licked him from base to tip, lingering at the tip until I lapped up the droplet beading from the slit at the end. ¡°Mmm.¡± I closed my eyes, relishing the salty flavor of him on my tongue. ¡°West Virginia tastes good.¡±


    I opened my lashes and glanced up to meet his gaze. We kept the intense eye contact as my mouth opened and I leaned forward to take him between my eager lips. His eyes flared wide and his fingers clamped down harder in my hair.


    ¡°Christ,¡± he hissed as he watched me take in as much as I could. His neck arched back and he panted a few times. Then he smacked the heel of his foot against the mattress beside me as if he needed to relieve some of the pleasure before he looked back down, his gaze darting between my eyes and the place where my lips slid up and down on him. ¡°God, Caroline.¡±


    I cupped his balls, and he blurted out a sound I¡¯m sure he didn¡¯t mean to.

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    ¡°Fuck, this is...¡± He arched up his hips and simultaneously pushed down on my head with the grip he had on my hair. When I started to gag, he instantly let up pressure. ¡°Shit. Sorry. I didn¡¯t mean to...Jesus. It¡¯s just so fucking good. Who knew actually seeing someone go down on me makes it so much hotter. Or maybe it¡¯s just you. Watching you.¡±


    I sucked on him a little harder and took him deep into my throat. He shouted out another unintentional sound. Gripping the sheets beside us with his hand that wasn¡¯t buried in my hair, he seemed to be bracing for the grand finale. ¡°I¡¯m coming.¡± His voice was strained and his fingers were like iron, clamped in my hair. ¡°Caroline, I¡¯m¡ªshit.¡±


    He tried to tug me off him, giving me plenty of fair warning, but I didn¡¯t want to go anywhere. I wanted all of him. I moaned at the pressure on my locks and applied more suction as I stroked him faster.


    The stream of curses that left him when he flooded my mouth was so filthy and delicious, I reached down and touched myself as he came.


    For a moment, he was too shocked and sated to realize what I was doing. But when he noticed I was trying to get myself off too, his eyes flared.


    ¡°Oh, I don¡¯t fucking think so.¡± Grasping my wrist, he ripped my fingers away from the throbbing wet spot between my legs. Then he flipped me onto my back and climbed on top of me. ¡°Last night, it was hot when I knew you were touching yourself, but two nights in a row just makes me think I¡¯m not doing my job. This is my pussy, woman. No fingers touch this clit but mine.¡±


    His thumb instantly found me and began to massage without mercy, sending me to an immediate peak. I cried out and arched under him. ¡°No tongue laps up this cream but mine.¡±


    He leaned in, and I couldn¡¯t help it, I gripped his hair in my hands, so eager to feel his mouth on me, I almost couldn¡¯t take it. ¡°Oren.¡±


    He paused right before contact and glanced up. ¡°And no one calls me that but you.¡±


    I loved the way he claimed ownership of me, but more than that, I loved the way he gave ownership right back to me. As soon as his warm, wet tongue touched me, I came.


    I don¡¯t know how much time passed. I think I drifted in and out of sleep for a while as I lay limp and satiated against him. The sweat from our bodies was still drying as we clung together, but I knew he was awake because his fingers kept stroking up and down my spine. Occasionally, they dipped down farther than usual on his descent until he reached my ass and he¡¯d cup a globe in one of his warm palms, but then a second later, he was on the move again, caressing his way back up the center of my vertebrae.


    ¡°I should probably go before I fall asleep,¡± I murmured, too liquid limp to move. He didn¡¯t answer, didn¡¯t try to get me to stay, so I blew out a disappointed breath and sat up.


    But when I tried to crawl off the mattress, he grasped my wrist. I glanced down at him, my heart thumping hard in my chest.


    Instead of asking me to stay, though, he said, ¡°You don¡¯t have a car.¡±


    I blinked. ¡°Huh?¡± I knew I didn¡¯t have a car.


    He shot upright, his face flaring with anger. ¡°Are you fucking insane? How the hell have you been getting here and home each night? Don¡¯t tell me you¡¯ve been walking, because what is that, twenty blocks, between your place and mine?¡±


    I cleared my throat discreetly. ¡°Okay,¡± I said. ¡°I won¡¯t tell you that, then.¡±


    He closed his eyes and growled. ¡°Caroline. What the fuck?¡±


    ¡°The first night, I had Aspen¡¯s car. And besides, it¡¯s only eighteen blocks, not twenty.¡±


    ¡°Oh. Well, thank God,¡± he muttered, not sounding relieved at all. ¡°Because those two less blocks make it sound so much safer. I cannot freaking believe you. Don¡¯t you ever¡ªever¡ªput yourself in that kind of danger again just to see me.¡±


    ¡°Excuse me?¡± My back straightened self-righteously at his demanding tone. ¡°Don¡¯t tell me what to do. I can take care of myself.¡± I set my hands on my hips and glared at him as he jumped from the bed and began viciously ripping clothes off the floor and jerking them on. ¡°I took a credit hour of self-defense training last semester, plus I¡¯m always armed with mace, a whistle, and Noel set me up with one of those nifty Taser things.¡±


    Fully dressed, he slapped a ball cap onto his head and grabbed his wallet and cell phone off his dresser. ¡°Well, that makes me feel half a percent better.¡± He frowned at me where I was still sitting in nothing but his sheet. Then he clapped his hands. ¡°Let¡¯s get going already.¡±

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    I shook my head. ¡°Where exactly are we going?¡±


    He tipped his chin down toward his chest but kept eye contact as he sent me a dry glance. ¡°I¡¯m driving you home.¡±


    Immediately, I started to shake my head. ¡°But you can¡¯t do that. What if Noel sees your truck pulling into our driveway and me climbing out of it, and he kills you?¡±


    He stepped closer. ¡°And what if some psycho douchebag spots you on your eighteen-block jaunt and rapes you and kills you?¡± With a snort, he added, ¡°I¡¯d rather face your brother.¡±


    Aww, he really was so concerned about me that he was willing to take on Noel to keep me safe. That was just incredibly sweet. I was about to tell him how considerate he was when he said, ¡°Besides, we¡¯ll just borrow Blondie¡¯s car. She leaves the key to it hanging right by the front door. If he happens to be looking out his window when you get home, he¡¯ll think she¡¯s dropping you off. Problem solved.¡±


    My lips parted as a bit of disappointment filled me. ¡°Oh,¡± I said. ¡°Good idea. Are you sure she won¡¯t mind?¡±


    He snorted. ¡°Blondie? Of course not. She loves me.¡±


    Ten minutes later, we approached my place, only two blocks away when I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Zoey¡¯s car was probably the most comfortable thing I¡¯d ever ridden in, but it felt different in here tonight, with Oren behind the wheel. Plus there was the fact that nothing between us was even remotely resolved.


    ¡°You can pull over here,¡± I said quietly.


    Oren sent me a hard glance. ¡°I don¡¯t think so. We stole Blondie¡¯s ride so I can see you right to your front door.¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± I shrugged. ¡°But if you stop here, I can give you a proper goodbye, and Noel wouldn¡¯t have to wonder why Zoey¡¯s windows steamed up before I got out.¡±


    Stomping on the brake, Oren veered the car toward the curb and jerked us to a halt. But he didn¡¯t reach for me. He didn¡¯t even look at me. He wrapped his hands around the steering wheel and stared out the front window. His jaw looked hard in the glowing reflection from the dashboard lights, and his expression was tense.


    I pushed my hair behind my ear and licked my dry lips as I realized what this meant. ¡°You¡¯re never going to touch me again, are you?¡±


    He let out a breath and quietly said, ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± Then he groaned and let go of the steering wheel to clutch his head. ¡°I don¡¯t know. I don¡¯t know. I don¡¯t know.¡±


    I hugged myself, feeling like shit for putting him through this. ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I whispered.


    He looked at me but said nothing.


    I shook my head, defeated. ¡°I know what kind of position I put you in. With Noel. With yourself. And I¡¯m¡­I¡¯m so sorry for making you go through this. I¡¯m sorry I tricked you. I¡¯m sorry¡­I¡¯m just sorry for everything. But most of all I¡¯m sorry that I don¡¯t¡­I don¡¯t regret it.¡± I winced. ¡°I know that¡¯s really awful and selfish of me, but I don¡¯t regret it. I loved it. I loved every moment, and I just¡­it was the best time of my life. So, thank you¡ª¡±


    ¡°Come here,¡± he murmured quietly, stretching his hand my way.


    I went to him, and he pulled me into his lap. One hand went to the back of my neck, tangling in my hair, while the other rested on the side of my face. He gazed into my eyes a moment, the temptation on his face so acute that it filled me with a need to soothe him. Then he pulled me in close until my cheek was against his heartbeat and his arms were around me.


    ¡°You know I¡¯m not mad, right?¡± he said softly. ¡°When I blew up earlier, I wasn¡¯t even really mad then. I was...I don¡¯t know, having a freak-out moment because the reality of it all just overwhelmed me, I guess. I shouldn¡¯t have directed it at you, though.¡±


    I sniffed and wiped at my dry face, feeling shitty anyway for putting him into such a situation. Pulling away from his warm chest, I looked up into his eyes and whispered, ¡°I¡¯ll go.¡±


    But he said, ¡°No,¡± and kissed me. His hands held my face captive as he tortured my mouth, softly stroking his tongue between my lips and claiming a piece of my soul.


    I gripped the front of his shirt and pulled him closer, sliding across his lap until I was straddling him and rubbing my heat against his hardness. He arched up and groaned into my mouth. I thought he was going to take me, right there in the driver¡¯s seat of Zoey¡¯s car, two blocks away from my brother, but he broke away, heaving and gasping.


    He pressed his forehead to mine. ¡°One week.¡±

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    I blinked, confused. ¡°One week what?¡±


    ¡°This. You, me, us. We give it one week to explore¡­whatever we want, and then¡ªout of respect for¡­your brother¡ªthat¡¯s it. The end. We never speak of it again. Okay?¡±


    He didn¡¯t even want to give me a week. I could see it in the swirling torment in his gaze, the tautness of his jaw, could hear it in his harsh, whispered words. Betraying Noel honestly killed him. But he was as tempted as I was.


    I nodded immediately, realizing I was getting more from him than I should be. ¡°I¡¯ll take it,¡± I said. I was as elated as I was sad to know I had seven more days with him.


    I totally didn¡¯t mean to let the temptation win. I was supposed to be stronger than a silly little craving. But then I underestimated the power of Caroline Gamble.


    She¡¯d wanted me, so she¡¯d gotten me.


    I knew I should be pissed. Because of her underhanded sneakery, I¡¯d betrayed my best friend and done the one thing he absolutely did not want me to do to him. But knowing she¡¯d wanted me that much, that she¡¯d gone to such extremes, became my own personal stalker, it really turned me on. And so the anger just kind of disappeared somewhere in between all the awe and flattery and desire.


    That didn¡¯t mean I was ready to play full-out liar and deceiver the very day after stabbing Gamble in the back, though. Except, yeah, that¡¯s how it went down, anyway.


    ¡°I call bartender tonight,¡± he said as we strolled across campus together.


    He¡¯d texted me after my last class of the day, demanding we meet at the student union for a drink. Hamilton had met up with us too, and after we¡¯d had a coffee break, we decided to head our separate ways before we met again later that night for our shift.


    Since it was Thursday¡ªladies¡¯ night¡ªthat meant all of us guys had to work. Two manned the bar while the other three waited tables out on the floor. And like every other week before, it turned out that Gamble and Lowe worked the bar every Thursday.


    I usually had no problem waiting tables, since it brought me more tips and I met more chicks that way, but today, I kind of wanted to stick behind the safety of a counter. I was no longer a free agent; I couldn¡¯t just let random women slip me their phone numbers or¡ª


    ¡°Holy shit.¡± I slowed to a stop and blinked dazedly at the world around me. But had I really just thought of myself as taken? No longer available to the ladies? Committed?


    Whoa. Where had that shit come from?


    Since I¡¯d stopped dead in my tracks to absorb the shock, both Gamble and Ham stopped walking too, and glanced back.


    ¡°Ten?¡± Gam asked, his brow wrinkled with concern. ¡°What¡¯s up?¡±


    I shook my head. I was about to tell him it was nothing, but there was no way he¡¯d buy that. So I settled for scowling at him. ¡°You hog the fucking bar every week. Why don¡¯t you give it up once in a while so the rest of us can get a break from all the handsy chicks grabbing at our junk?¡±


    Gamble stared at me as if I was insane. Then he shook his head and snorted. ¡°As if you mind that part? Besides, I¡¯m married, you¡¯re single. I have no business being on the floor, working my way around a bunch of single, drunk women.¡±


    I made a face. The urge to tell him I was no longer all that single myself itched at my throat until I had to say something or I was afraid I¡¯d blurt out everything. So I pointed toward Hamilton. ¡°Well, Ham¡¯s no longer single, and you have no problem making him wait tables every fucking week.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re right.¡± Gam glanced at Ham. ¡°Sorry about that, Quinn. You can take the bar tonight if you want it.¡±


    Hamilton perked up and immediate pleasure clouded his face. But then he frowned slightly as he glanced toward me and then back at Gam. ¡°Are you sure? I don¡¯t want to cause any strife.¡±


    ¡°Oh, go ahead and fucking take it,¡± I groused, waving my hand and storming away from both of them.


    It¡¯d felt weird being around Gam all day. But strangely, guilt wasn¡¯t the only thing afflicting me. I was suddenly so very irritated with him. Everything he said seemed to get under my skin. I needed to escape.


    But instead of letting me go off on my own, he called after me. ¡°Hey.¡± A second later, he jogged up and appeared at my side, keeping pace with me. ¡°What¡¯s up with you today? You okay?¡±


    I sniffed but didn¡¯t answer.


    ¡°How are your classes?¡±


    ¡°Fine.¡±


    ¡°So, you still get to graduate?¡±


    Sending him an odd look, I nodded. ¡°Yeah. Why?¡±

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    With a frustrated laugh, he jerked his hands into the air. ¡°I don¡¯t know, man. You tell me. Something is definitely bothering you. You haven¡¯t been typical annoying Ten since...fuck, I almost can¡¯t remember when.¡±


    ¡°Well, I¡¯m sorry to disappoint you,¡± I snapped. ¡°Nothing¡¯s fucking wrong. I¡¯m not fucking sick. And the world¡¯s not fucking ending. But I am beat. I¡¯m going home to take a nap before I have to put up with you losers for the rest of the night.¡±


    A sudden smile lit his face. ¡°Oh, so that¡¯s what this is about. Your midnight visitor been keeping you up too late lately?¡±


    I almost choked on my own oxygen. ¡°What? No. Fuck, that¡¯s over. She¡¯s not...she¡¯s not coming back again.¡± I had to glance away when I said that. My face felt hot and shit. But when I did look away from Gam, I accidently met Ham¡¯s gaze.


    When my roommate narrowed his eyes and frowned sternly, I blinked in confusion. What was up with him?


    ¡°As I live and breathe,¡± Gamble murmured beside him. ¡°I never thought I¡¯d see the day a woman could tie you into knots.¡± His grin died as he studied me longer. ¡°So what¡¯d you do to piss her off and send her running?¡±


    ¡°Nothing,¡± I muttered, pissed he instantly thought I had to be the reason for my imaginary break-up with my imaginary midnight visitor. ¡°And for your information, I am not tied in¡ª¡±


    I kind of forgot the next thing I wanted to say when I spotted Caroline and Blondie strolling our way. The knots in my stomach expanded, letting me know just how securely they were indeed tied.


    Jesus, this girl owned me completely, and she probably had no clue.


    Heat raced across my skin. The urge to go to her swept over me, and it took everything I had not to just...go. But Hamilton bumped me¡ªhard¡ªin the arm, making me stumble off balance and break my gaze from her.


    I scowled at him, but he only mouthed two words my way, which looked like Stop staring.


    Fuck, I had been staring at Caroline right in front of her brother, and getting turned on, unable to forget last night, or the night before that, or the fucking Friday before that.


    ¡°Hey, kiddo,¡± Gamble called when he noticed her. ¡°You ready to get home? Aspen said she was cooking lasagna for supper.¡±


    ¡°Mmm.¡± The unintentional seduction in Caroline¡¯s voice about made me go cross-eyed. I kept myself from looking at her directly, but I could tell by watching her from the corner of my eye that she was rubbing her belly. ¡°I could die fat and happy from Aspen¡¯s lasagna.¡±


    And I could die fat and happy from her little moans.


    Gamble¡¯s woman really did make a kick-ass lasagna, though. In fact, if I¡¯d been acting as my usual self, I¡¯d step in right about now and finagle my way into getting an invite to supper, or fuck, I¡¯d resort to outright begging for one and end up inviting myself over whether Gam said yes or no.


    But I had this sense that if I opened my mouth right then, I¡¯d say the first thing on my mind, which would be to tell Caroline how good she looked, or ask her when I¡¯d get to see her again...alone, in my bedroom.


    So I kept my lips clamped firmly and my attention on a fucking tree next to us as the other four members of the group chatted a few minutes before Gamble slung his arm around his sister¡¯s shoulders, called a goodbye to us and steered her away.


    She had to walk right past me to leave, though, and I just couldn¡¯t handle it. As soon as she passed, I shifted out my arm that had been hanging down at my side and flexed the backs of my fingers so that they brushed across hers. I kept my attention on Gamble, making sure he saw none of this. Caroline responded by weaving her fingers through mine so they interlaced for the fraction of a moment before she pulled them away and was gone.


    I stared after her, pulverized. She¡¯d been right fucking there, and the only thing I¡¯d gotten to do was barely brush my hand against hers?


    Not fucking right. That had sucked ass. Majorly.


    Turning away, edgy and cantankerous, I jerked to a stop when I found both Blondie and Ham watching me quite openly, and sternly.


    Shit. I¡¯d forgotten about them.


    Ham lifted a disappointed eyebrow. ¡°Really? Do you think you could¡¯ve been any more obvious?¡±


    I blinked, confused but worried what he might suspect. ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re going to get yourself caught if you keep staring at her like that. And what was up with that hand thing? Noel¡¯s definitely going to figure out she was Midnight Visitor if he catches you sneaking in crap like that.¡±


    My mouth fell open as I stared at him, unable to say anything. But, yeah...mind blown.

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    ¡°You...know?¡± I finally found the words to rasp. I glanced from between him to a flushing, guiltily cringing Blondie. Well, shit. They both knew. ¡°How long have you guys known?¡±


    Ham sighed and rubbed a spot on the center of his forehead. ¡°Since Saturday,¡± he admitted.


    Again, I could only stare. Unable to believe him, I glanced at his woman for confirmation. She gulped and nodded.


    ¡°What the hell?¡± I exploded. ¡°How could you two know before I knew?¡±


    Blondie shifted closer to Ham and began to wring her hands as she confessed. ¡°Caroline. She, uh, she confided in me.¡±


    ¡°Well...fuck.¡± I set my hands on my hips and stared up at the sky where odd-shaped clouds drifted overhead. For a moment, I was transported to my childhood when my sister and I would lie on our backs in the grass and think up dirty images we saw in the clouds. Yeah, I was troubled enough that I almost settled for memories of her rather than dealing with my two know-everything roommates. But shit, the pain that came with those memories chased me back to the present.


    I shook my head and glared at Ham. ¡°And you never thought to tell me who was sneaking into my room? Jesus, man. I was fucking betraying Gamble, and I had no idea.¡±


    Saying that felt like a lie though, because okay, I¡¯d had an idea, but I hadn¡¯t known.


    Had I?


    Fuck. The sudden taste of bile at the back of my throat made me swallow hard.


    ¡°It¡¯d already happened by the time I found out,¡± Hamilton told me. ¡°What would telling you have accomplished?¡±


    Was he freaking serious? ¡°It would¡¯ve kept me from doing it again, maybe.¡±


    ¡°Are you sure?¡± He lifted an eyebrow. ¡°You know now, and it¡¯s...not going to keep you from going back for more, now is it?¡±


    ¡°Shut up.¡± I scowled at both him and his woman. ¡°It¡¯s too late now. We¡¯ve already...¡± Shit, I didn¡¯t know what we¡¯d already done. But there was no way we could just...stop it just because it was wrong to keep it from Gamble. That point had passed too many kisses and orgasms ago. We were already set and aimed straight toward our collision course with fate.


    ¡°Do you remember when Noel thought I was doing something with Caroline and he went for my throat?¡± Ham asked out of the blue, his voice soft and almost apologetic.


    I snorted. ¡°How could I forget?¡± It had proved to me that Gam would never think I was good enough for her if he didn¡¯t even think my flawless roommate was worthy of her.


    ¡°Yeah, well, when he apologized to me for overreacting, he said it wasn¡¯t because he thought I wasn¡¯t good enough for her but because he thought I was sneaking around with her. He said someone else had done that to her, had treated her like she wasn¡¯t the type to date openly, and Noel thought she deserved better than that. He was mad because he thought I¡¯d been keeping her a secret.¡±


    Ouch.


    Shame bore down on me with a vengeance. My roommate was standing there telling me I was no better than that fucker from Caroline¡¯s hometown who¡¯d used her and left her pregnant and alone, and I had to agree with him.


    ¡°Well, she does deserve better than becoming someone¡¯s secret,¡± I said, my voice all raspy with regret. But shit. I hissed, ¡°Why didn¡¯t you tell me about this conversation before?¡±


    ¡°Would it have made a difference?¡±


    I shrugged. ¡°I don¡¯t know. Maybe.¡± But it was too fucking late now. He¡¯d already think I¡¯d been sneaking her around if I told him now, because I¡¯d already been fucking sneaking her around.


    Damn...it.


    I wiped my quivering hands over my face. ¡°Doesn¡¯t matter. Like I said, it¡¯s too late. Thanks so much for your fucking help.¡±


    I strode away from them in a bundle of broiling nerves. It was then I fully realized just how badly this was going to end. And I started to panic.


    I know what you¡¯re thinking. Why didn¡¯t I just cut ties with her then if I was so worried about Gamble? Well, why don¡¯t you ask a smoker why they don¡¯t just stop smoking, an alcoholic why they don¡¯t just stop drinking, a book lover why they don¡¯t just stop reading? And fuck you for thinking an addiction was even remotely easy to quit. I was addicted to this girl. I wasn¡¯t anywhere near ready to give her up.


    And thus started the true turmoil.


    So, stabbing my best friend in the back sucked ass, but finally having Caroline after months of wanting her¡­that was fucking heaven.


    On day six of our week-long agreement, she rested her cheek against my shoulder, pressed her damp breasts to my side and started drawing patterns on my chest before saying, ¡°So tomorrow¡¯s our last night together, huh?¡±

 Page 62

    My brow furrowed. Not even wanting to think about it, I took her hand and concentrated on weaving our fingers together. ¡°No,¡± I said slowly. ¡°I think your math¡¯s off. We¡¯ve still got, like, four or five more days left.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± she finally murmured. ¡°Yeah, I think you¡¯re right.¡±


    And that was that.


    The next day, our one-week time limit came. The day after that, it passed. I kept picking my midnight visitor up at the curb a block from her house damn near every night and then dropping her back off hours later. And I kept doing naughty, unspeakable things to her. And yeah, I loved every second of it. But then, so did she.


    So, not on day eight¡ªhell, not even on day twelve¡ªdid either of us mention the fact that we¡¯d gone over our affair¡¯s deadline. I¡¯m pretty sure neither of us cared that we totally broke the rules. In those first few weeks, nothing mattered but the next time I could be inside her. Not even the fact that I was completely betraying my best friend on earth.


    I still hated it when she brought up his name though, especially when we were wrapped up together and relaxed into a near coma after a really vigorous round of sex.


    ¡°Is it immature to hide this from Noel?¡± she asked, her cheek resting on my arm and her perfect ass tucked in my lap as my arms remained banded around her.


    A tick formed in my jaw, but she didn¡¯t see it, so I shrugged. ¡°We¡¯re still young. Aren¡¯t we allowed some immaturity?¡±


    She sighed. I hated that sigh because it told me keeping this from him bothered her as much as it bothered me. ¡°I know you hate lying to him, but I...I want to wait to tell him, if that¡¯s okay with you. This is just...¡±


    ¡°None of his damn business.¡± I growled, irritated because he was even an issue.


    ¡°Well, that and...it¡¯s new and fun, and he¡¯ll make it all¡ª¡±


    ¡°Trust me.¡± I stroked her hip to relax her. ¡°I¡¯m not exactly thrilled about the idea of having my best friend go all disapproving dad on me. And we know he will. I don¡¯t mind waiting. Maybe if he sees me settling down for a while and not chasing every woman who crosses my path, he¡¯ll grow a little more...open to the idea.¡±


    He wouldn¡¯t. She probably knew that as well as I did. Gamble had gotten drunk with me too many times, he¡¯d seen me hook up with scores of women too many times, hell, he¡¯d shared women with me too many times to ever let me chase after someone important to him.


    ¡°Yeah.¡± Caroline blew out a breath and sent me a blinding smile, letting me know I¡¯d said the right thing. ¡°Maybe a little time will help him¡­adjust to the idea.¡±


    Her smile did things to me, so I rolled her until she was on her stomach. Needing to distract her from the sadness, guilt and unease that always followed a ¡°Noel¡± conversation, I rubbed her back and kissed my way down her spine. A grin lit my face as she gave a dreamy sigh.


    ¡°Damn, I love your mouth and hands on me.¡±


    Her voice was languid yet husky, so I leaned in to whisper in her ear. ¡°And I love your after-sex voice. Just listening to it makes me want to¡­¡± Instead of describing my fantasies, I pressed my hips up against her perfect bare ass and rubbed my growing cock against her sweet tush.


    She sucked in a breath and arched back. ¡°Again? Already?¡±


    ¡°With you? Always.¡± After suiting up, I took one of her legs and shifted it out of my way so I could slot myself between her thighs. ¡°Excuse me. Pardon me, ma¡¯am. I just need through here. Thanks.¡±


    She giggled just as I entered her from behind. And then... ¡°Oh,¡± She gasped in surprise. ¡°Wow. I love how full you always make me feel, how perfectly you slide in and out, how warm and stimulating your fingers are when they cup my breasts and...yeah. That.¡±


    I grinned as I lightly pinched her nipples. She arched and moaned out her need. ¡°Oh God. Oren.¡±


    I wanted to tell her I loved it when she said my name like that. But I just sighed. ¡°I know, right? I¡¯m really good at this.¡±


    Another laugh blurted from her. ¡°And so modest, too.¡±


    ¡°Modest, schmodest.¡± I rolled onto my back so she was on top of me but still facing away. The new exposing angle made her gasp, but I took advantage of it by cupping a breast in one hand and her clit in the other. ¡°Who wants modesty when you can have the best sex of your life?¡±


    ¡°Not¡­not me, I guess,¡± she panted out, turning her face to the side until our cheeks brushed. ¡°I¡­ooooohhhh.¡±


    I slowed the movement of my fingers, really getting into the playfulness of the moment. ¡°What was that?¡± I asked as I nibbled at her earlobe.

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    ¡°Oh, shut up.¡± Panting and straining on top of me, she caught my hip and buried her fingers into my flesh. ¡°Just finish it already.¡±


    Slowing the progress of my fingers even more, I applied more pressure to her pussy lips. ¡°Haven¡¯t you ever heard of patience, Miss Gamble?¡±


    ¡°Damn you,¡± she muttered. Then she arched her back, pressed her cheek alongside mine, and lifted her hips before coming down on me and sending an electric jolt through my dick. But the girl wasn¡¯t finished yet. She squeezed her inner muscles at the same moment she reached behind her and grasped two fistfuls of my hair. And holy hell, okay, so maybe I liked my hair being pulled too.


    ¡°Not fair.¡± I growled and went off, unable to stop the orgasm that gripped me by the balls.


    Caroline laughed as I came inside her. Then she cried out as she followed me into oblivion.


    If we made it to a second round in one night, I usually took her home directly afterward, because otherwise we knew we¡¯d fall asleep and accidently spend the entire night together.


    But neither of us had moved yet. I was even too exhausted to run my hand over her like I always liked to do. We kind of just lay slumped there, limp against each other. I didn¡¯t want the moment to end, though I knew we¡¯d have to go soon.


    The worst part of each night was sneaking her back home.


    ¡°I¡¯m thinking about getting set up on birth control,¡± she said out of the blue.


    Every muscle in my body tightened. I knew she felt my reaction. But shit. This was the first reference to a future between us that she¡¯d ever mentioned. This meant she actually wanted a future between us. The idea scared me as much as it thrilled me. I¡¯d avoided relationships for four years for a reason, but here I was ready to dive into the most dangerous one ever without even batting an eyelash. This wasn¡¯t me, and that was the terrifying part.


    But, God, a future with Caroline. That thought was fucking nirvana.


    I cleared my throat and pushed all the casualness into my voice that I possessed. ¡°Sounds good to me.¡±


    ¡°Good,¡± she echoed.


    I didn¡¯t answer, a little dizzy from what had just happened. We¡¯d just made an agreement. We were now a couple.


    A few minutes of silence filled the room. I was too petrified to say anything, even to offer to take her home now.


    Caroline drew in a breath and asked, ¡°How¡¯s your portfolio and resume writing coming along?¡±


    Ready to discuss anything but our new relationship status, I sat up and started to climb off the bed. ¡°I¡¯ll show you if you want to see.¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡±


    As I gathered the bag full of shit I¡¯d collected with my portfolio and resume kit, she sat up naked and crossed her legs, eagerly waiting for me to show her what I had. I paused, freshly startled by just how good she looked sitting that way, prim yet naughty.


    Having her here, naked in my bed, was a wet dream come true.


    Shaking my head free of such thoughts, I dragged my crap to her and flopped onto the mattress next to her. ¡°This one¡¯s my portfolio.¡± I handed it over. ¡°Here¡¯s the list of places seeking new partners. Here¡¯s the resume I keep scrapping and starting over again. And this¡ª¡±


    She looked up from the shit I was piling into her arms. ¡°So you haven¡¯t applied to any of these places yet?¡± She dug out the folders full of job listings.


    I shook my head. Of course, I hadn¡¯t applied. I was scared shitless of growing up and finding a real job. I liked my life as it was. I supported myself and was surrounded by my friends, and Caroline was in my bed now. If I found a good job, I¡¯d most likely have to move, and I didn¡¯t want to leave this yet, not when I was as satisfied right where I was and as happy as I¡¯d ever been.


    ¡°My resume looks like shit,¡± I said instead, using that excuse. ¡°I can¡¯t send it out looking like this.¡±


    Caroline chewed on her lip as she glanced over my resume. ¡°You know,¡± she said. I thought she was going to offer to read it for me, but she surprised me when she said, ¡°Aspen just went over her own resume when she applied for that position at the high school. I¡¯m sure she¡¯d be happy to help you make yours shine.¡±


    I hadn¡¯t even thought of going to her, of all people, for help. I usually avoided Gamble¡¯s wife at all cost. Not because I didn¡¯t like her. She seemed nice enough, and she made my best friend insanely happy. But it was hard not to think of her as my professor instead of my buddy¡¯s wife, because that¡¯s what she¡¯d been when I¡¯d first met her. Plus, I¡¯d kind of cussed her out one night when she and Gam had been dating¡ªor more actually, when they¡¯d had a mini split. But she¡¯d used me to keep him away from her so he couldn¡¯t become embroiled in some dirty student-teacher affair scandal. She¡¯d been trying to protect him, sure, but I hadn¡¯t liked getting dragged into the middle of anything that involved upsetting him like that had.

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    And though we¡¯d all moved past that and everything had miraculously turned out okay for them, I still hadn¡¯t apologized to her for yelling at her that night...or other things I¡¯d done that weren¡¯t quite respectful to her.


    I glanced at Caroline and wrinkled my face, letting her know how uncertain of her idea I was. ¡°I don¡¯t know. You think she¡¯d be willing to help me?¡±


    She just laughed. ¡°Um...it¡¯s Aspen. The engrained English teacher. She lives for this kind of stuff.¡±


    ¡°Well, okay. I guess...I¡¯ll ask her, then.¡±


    Caroline glowed with approval and kissed my nose. Then she returned her attention to the listing of job openings. ¡°Wow, there sure are a lot of opportunities for you...¡± Her gaze froze on one detail. ¡°And they sure are far away.¡±


    When she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear¡ªher nervous hair fiddling¡ªI knew she didn¡¯t like the distance aspect. I wanted to reassure her and tell her I¡¯d never leave if she didn¡¯t want me to go. But shit, we¡¯d officially been an ¡°us¡± for all of two minutes now. It was probably a little premature to go making any such promises.


    ¡°From the way you marked this one, I can tell it¡¯s your favorite.¡± She turned to show me which job opening she was talking about. The one I¡¯d circled five times and underlined. The one located in Lake Tahoe. When her fingers went to her hair again, I clenched my teeth.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± I said. It sounded like there was a ton of gravel in my throat. ¡°It¡¯s got the best pay and benefits and is exactly the kind of work I want to do.¡±


    Caroline nodded. ¡°You should definitely apply there, then.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what I¡¯m going to do yet.¡± I stared at the sheet that was starting to tremble slightly in her hand.


    She sniffed as if my indecision was ridiculous. ¡°You should. I mean, it sounds like the opportunity of a lifetime.¡±


    When her hand lifted for her hair a third time, I couldn¡¯t handle it. I caught her wrist to keep her from touching a single lock. Then I brought her fingers to my mouth and kissed them. Her blue eyes looked watery when she looked up at me.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what I¡¯m going to do,¡± I repeated.


    But I did know what I wasn¡¯t going to do. I wasn¡¯t going to let her stress about this.


    ¡°It¡¯s late. I should be getting you home.¡±


    She groaned and dropped my mock-up resume into her lap. ¡°I hate the going home part of our nights.¡±


    ¡°Me too.¡± I kissed her hair and slowly removed my portfolio from her lap. ¡°I don¡¯t have to work tomorrow night. How about you tell Gamble you¡¯re doing something with Blondie and come see me instead.¡±


    She hummed and melted into me before saying, ¡°I¡¯m working until nine.¡±


    I growled back. Work, school, brothers. I was tired of everything constantly coming between us. I nipped at her ear, then moved my mouth down to her neck. ¡°Tell him Blondie¡¯s picking you up from work then, and I¡¯ll pick you up instead.¡±


    Her head fell back as I feasted on her neck. With a whimpered moan, she gave in. ¡°Okay.¡±


    Nearly three weeks after starting an affair with Oren, I visited the doctor late on a Friday afternoon. I¡¯d been lucky and gotten in a checkup as one of his last patients of the day so I could go after my classes.


    I kind of thought I¡¯d just tell him what I needed and he¡¯d hand me a prescription and maybe a couple free sample packs of birth control. But apparently, that was delusional thinking. Before I quite knew what was happening, I was peeing into a cup, changing into a skimpy sheet thing that opened in the front, and being asked to put my feet into the stirrups of horror. God, I hated gynecologist visits.


    I started to think it¡¯d be over and done after a quick pelvis exam, and then I¡¯d finally get my nifty pills to go off and have dirty, amazing sex with Oren. But there was nothing quick about what happened next. In fact, it felt as if time slowed down and every second clicked by at a day¡¯s pace.


    The sensation of years had passed an hour later when I walked into the back door of Noel and Aspen¡¯s house, numb and stupefied. Absolutely bone-crushingly numb. I wasn¡¯t even sure how to process what I¡¯d just learned. I sank into the first kitchen chair I encountered.


    Aspen found me just like that a few minutes later as I stared in dazed, dull shock at all the pictures Colton had drawn for Aspen tacked to the refrigerator with little fruit magnets.


    ¡°Caroline?¡± Aspen paused and tipped her face to the side. ¡°Are you okay?¡±

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    I nodded without thought, but then I said, ¡°No.¡±


    She started forward and pulled out the chair next to me. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± When she sat, she grasped my limp fingers that¡¯d been resting in my lap and sucked in a shocked breath. ¡°Your hands are freezing.¡±


    ¡°Are they?¡± I looked down at them. I didn¡¯t really feel them, but they looked pale and rubbery in Aspen¡¯s grip. She tried to rub some life into them, but that only made me want to yank them away.


    So I did pull them back to me. I cradled them to my chest, wanting them to remain cold. Lifeless. Dead. Exactly how I felt, how I deserved to feel.


    Aspen lifted her face in shock. She opened her mouth and then wisely shut it.


    I couldn¡¯t handle hurting her and I knew pulling away had, so I cleared my throat. ¡°I...¡± Then I shook my head. I just couldn¡¯t say it. ¡°I...I went to the doctor today, to get set up on birth control. And¡ª¡±


    ¡°Oh!¡± Her eyes grew wide as she pressed a hand to her chest. ¡°I...I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t realize you were...seeing anyone.¡±


    I blinked. Crap. Had I just blurted that out? Face flaming red, I began to shake my head but Aspen lifted her hands. ¡°Ignore me. I¡¯m sorry. It¡¯s none of my business. What were you saying...about the doctor¡¯s visit?¡±


    I continued to gape at her. ¡°Are you going to tell Noel?¡± I held my breath for the answer.


    ¡°Um...¡± She glanced away, her expression giving away all her uncertainties. Loyalty to her husband battled with loyalty to me. ¡°I don¡¯t¡ªThat is...no, if you¡¯d prefer I not...I¡¯m sure it¡¯s no more his business than it is mine what you do in your...private time, but...as a friend, and new sister, I know I¡¯d very much like to meet your...young man.¡± Then her eyes flashed wide as if a new thought had just struck her. Leaning closer, she lowered her voice. ¡°There is just one young man, right?¡±


    I smiled. Actually, I blurted out a short laugh. She was just so cute when she was attempting to be appropriate and not cross any of my boundaries all while trying to tell me what she thought. ¡°Yes,¡± I told her. ¡°There¡¯s just one...¡± I smiled wider as I stole her term, ¡°young man.¡±


    She flushed and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. ¡°Sorry, I didn¡¯t know what to call him.¡±


    My shoulders slumped, and suddenly everything awful flooded back to the surface. Feeling like shit, I confessed, ¡°Yeah. Neither do I.¡±


    Aspen reached for my hands again, but stopped herself as if remembering how I¡¯d just pulled away from her. ¡°You know,¡± she started slowly. ¡°If you ever need to talk about anything, I¡¯m here. I¡¯ll even promise not to report every detail back to Noel. But sometimes, people just...they need someone to talk to.¡±


    I smiled softly and took one of the hands she was wringing in her lap. The muscles in her face immediately loosened, and she squeezed back on my fingers. I was about to tell her I had Zoey to confide in, but then I wondered if she wanted a friend as much as she seemed to want me to have one. So I blurted, ¡°The doctor doesn¡¯t think I¡¯ll ever be able to have children.¡±


    Her eyes immediately filled with horror as her hands clamped around mine. ¡°Oh my God, Caroline.¡±


    I stared down at our connected fingers. ¡°I...this was the first time I¡¯d been back to a gynecologist since last year. I had no idea I¡¯d messed so much up when I¡ª¡± I lifted my face and tears filled my eyes. ¡°I¡¯ve completely ruined my future, haven¡¯t I?¡±


    ¡°No! No, sweetheart. You can still have a full, happy life. You¡ª¡±


    ¡°If I¡¯d known that would¡¯ve been my one and only chance to ever have a baby¡ª¡±


    ¡°Please don¡¯t think about that. I don¡¯t want this to distress you.¡±


    I shook my head. ¡°What else am I supposed to think about, Aspen? I may never be able to hold my own child in my arms. Never watch him or her grow up. Never...¡± I shook my head when my voice wavered. ¡°How can I not think about that? How can I not regret falling for some stupid, rich boy whose stupid rich parents talked me into doing something I didn¡¯t want to do?¡±


    Tears filled Aspen¡¯s eyes as well. ¡°You¡¯re right,¡± she admitted. ¡°It would devastate me too.¡± When she leaned in to hug me, I hugged her back hard and buried my face in her shoulder. She was petting my hair and murmuring soothing words of comfort when a fist banged against the back screen door.


    ¡°Yoo hoo.¡± The door came open. ¡°Damn handsome hunk calling.¡±

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    I jerked away from Aspen and frantically dabbed my wet eyes. But Oren already stood frozen in the doorway, seeing everything. The ornery grin on his face instantly dissolving, he glanced from me, to Aspen, and back to me.


    Shit. I¡¯d forgotten he was coming over tonight to get help from Aspen for his job applications.


    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± he demanded.


    ¡°Oh, nothing.¡± A sudden flurry of motion, Aspen popped from her chair, waving her hands. ¡°You know us girls. We cry at happy greeting cards.¡±


    Oren arched her a disbelieving glance before he turned back to me. His gaze tracked every tear that had slipped down my cheek. ¡°I don¡¯t see any greeting cards.¡±


    Aspen cleared her throat and sent him a tense smile. ¡°To what do we owe the pleasure of your visit, Mr. Tenning?¡±


    It took a few more seconds for Oren to drag his attention from me, but when he did, he still looked distracted as he turned to Aspen.


    Lifting a folder in his hand, he reminded her, ¡°Resume. Proofreading. Your red pen once again slashing its way across one of my papers.¡±


    ¡°Oh, right. Sorry.¡± Pressing her hand to her forehead, Aspen blew out a frazzled breath. ¡°I forgot.¡± Then she frowned slightly and set her hands on her hips. ¡°And for your information, I no longer use red ink.¡± Then she cleared her throat discreetly. ¡°It¡¯s green now.¡±


    One corner of his lips hitched up at her joke, but his gaze strayed back to me and his smile fell. I knew as soon as he opened his mouth, he was going to ask all over again what was wrong. But thank God, the ringing of Aspen¡¯s cell phone in the charging station on the counter interrupted him.


    Aspen hurried to it and checked the screen before a soft smile lit her face. ¡°There¡¯s Noel. He¡¯s at the grocery store and probably has a question. Excuse me a moment.¡±


    As she walked stiff-backed from the room, Oren shook his head, staring after her. ¡°She¡¯s still so formal and teacher-ish sometimes; it freaks me the fuck out.¡± Then he turned to me and lowered his voice, ¡°Now, seriously. What the hell is wrong?¡±


    No way could I put any of this on Oren. It was way too personal and distressing and...and deep for whatever we had going on between us. I stood up so quickly I almost knocked the chair over backwards behind me. Rushing to catch it, I fumbled awkwardly. ¡°Oh, it¡¯s just¡ªshit, sorry¡ªyou know, girl stuff,¡± I answered vaguely, mimicking Aspen¡¯s term.


    Oren caught my hands, trapping them on the back of the chair. ¡°Don¡¯t pull that bullshit on me, Caroline. What the fuck happened?¡±


    I met his near-angry gaze. ¡°I said it was girl stuff. Do you really want the grisly details?¡±


    ¡°Like a heavy fucking menstrual cycle is going to scare me off. Besides, I know that¡¯s not what this is about. You¡¯re crying, and I want to know why.¡±


    ¡°Fine,¡± I snapped. I tried to pull my hands from his, but he locked his grip around my wrists. ¡°I went to the doctor today for...for birth control.¡± I could feel the challenge in my stare when I lifted my face to meet his gaze, and I don¡¯t know why I put it there. Maybe I was daring him to back down and leave the issue alone. Sharing distressing doctor¡¯s news meant we weren¡¯t just bed buddies. It meant there was more to us than just sex.


    But he didn¡¯t back down. ¡°And.?¡±


    ¡°And he had to do an exam first.¡±


    Instant understanding lit his gaze, and I was once again overwhelmed with the need to cry. ¡°Shit.¡± He closed his eyes briefly. When he opened up, his hazel eyes were full of misery. ¡°The abortion messed you up down there, didn¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± My shoulders curled in around my chest as I bowed my head and squeezed my eyes closed. ¡°He doesn¡¯t think I¡¯ll ever be able to get pregnant again.¡±


    ¡°Damn,¡± he breathed out softly, his warmth soaking into my cold, numb bones as he shifted closer. Then his breath was in my hair. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    When his fingers gently touched my shoulder, I stepped back and turned my face away. ¡°Seriously, you don¡¯t have to¡ª¡±


    ¡°Will you just shut up and come here.¡± He grabbed me with more force and yanked me against him. His large hand cradled the back of my head, guiding it into place against his shoulder. Then his arms enfolded me, and he just held me like that.


    I shuddered the moment his lips touched my temple. Burrowing deeper into him, I grabbed handfuls of the back of his shirt and held on for dear life.


    My sorrow erupted, and I started crying again, in great sobbing heaves.

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    He rocked me back and forth, the warmth from his body soaking into mine. ¡°Shh, baby,¡± he crooned quietly. ¡°It¡¯ll be okay.¡±


    I had no idea how this could ever be okay. I lifted my face to look up at him. ¡°Is it okay if I regret it? I know I was only seventeen and had no place being a mom. There was no money. It would¡¯ve probably buckled Noel under completely with responsibilities. But I wish...I just...even from the moment it was done, I never felt relieved. I¡¯ve only ever felt sick with regret.¡±


    Oren leaned down and kissed away the tears on my cheeks. ¡°You can regret whatever the hell you want to regret. I regret plenty. Just don¡¯t let this suck you down and take over your life.¡±


    What surprised me more than the fact that Oren Tenning was full of good advice was the fact that he looked completely serious and genuine when he gave it.


    ¡°How do I do that?¡± I asked. ¡°How do I not let it take over?¡±


    His lips softened and then spread into an encouraging smile. ¡°Just keep going forward, I guess. Fuck, I don¡¯t know.¡±


    I laughed, and he leaned in to nuzzle his nose against my hairline.


    ¡°Keep smelling this good every day is a good start.¡± His voice rumbled into my ear and made me shiver...the good kind of shiver.


    Then his hands slipped up my back in a sensual caress as he kissed my temple. ¡°You could also keep driving me crazy with every breath you take, or¡ª¡±


    ¡°Oren,¡± I said, my voice breathless as my arousal kicked into gear. ¡°Shut up or you¡¯re going to turn me on.¡±


    He chuckled. ¡°Going to? Woman, I know you¡¯re already soaking wet for me.¡± His nose batted playfully against my ear before he whispered into it. ¡°Aren¡¯t you?¡± And then his teeth nipped the lobe.


    My fingers curled into his shoulders as my neck arched back and my body crawled up his and pressed hot against his hard chest. ¡°Nobody likes a braggart,¡± I panted, aching for him to kiss me already.


    ¡°Yeah, you do.¡± The rasp in his voice caused an electric spark to shock through me. I shivered against it and curled even closer into him. ¡°You like every fucking detail about me, from all the stupid, annoying lines I spew to how it feels when I¡¯m buried so deep inside you, all you can think about is screaming my name.¡±


    He was right. Shame on me, but I did love every aggravatingly flawed detail about him. ¡°Damn it,¡± I muttered. He was going to make me be the one to kiss him, wasn¡¯t he?


    I grabbed fistfuls of his hair and slammed my mouth against his. His cocky, victorious laugh was cut short when my tongue spiked into his mouth. The groan that rumbled from his throat filled me with accomplishment a split second before he cupped my ass hard and lifted me off the floor.


    Embedding myself in the distraction he offered, I relished the friction of our chests rubbing past each other as I rose above him. I wound a leg around his waist and he thrust his hips against my hip, letting me feel how aroused he was.


    It totally didn¡¯t occur to me how this was absolutely the worst time and place to kiss Oren Tenning until the back door swung open and two voices filled the kitchen.


    Just as abruptly, they shut off.


    Oren and I leapt apart. ¡°Oh my God.¡± I pressed my hand against my chest as I gaped at Colton and Brandt. ¡°What¡¯re you two doing here?¡±


    They stood frozen in the back entrance of the house, gawking between me and Oren, who¡¯d turned his back to us and was breathing hard as he latched on to the edge of the counter, trying to calm his breathing and no doubt his libido too.


    ¡°We live here,¡± Brandt finally answered. Then the twerp glanced away from Oren¡¯s back to send me a little smirk. ¡°What¡¯re you doing here, Caroline?¡±


    ¡°Why were you kissing Ten?¡± Colton asked.


    Mortified heat washed over my entire face. ¡°I...I wasn¡¯t.¡±


    Both brothers sent me a get-real glance. Finally, Brandt asked, ¡°So, then he was...choking, and you were...trying to resuscitate him...with your tongue?¡±


    When Oren laughed and finally turned around, I cast him a killer glare. ¡°Why are you laughing?¡±


    Oren sent me an innocent, What? What¡¯d-I-do? shrug. ¡°Because it was funny,¡± he answered. ¡°Sounds like something I¡¯d say.¡± Then he grinned at Brandt and offered him a congratulatory fist bump, to which my brother grinned back and accepted.


    Oh my God. I totally did not understand guys.


    Rolling my eyes, I threw my hands into the air, feeling clueless.


    ¡°Does Noel know you guys are...?¡± Colton waved a hand between Oren and me. Even he wasn¡¯t sure what was going on between us.

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    I folded my arms over my chest and lifted my chin. ¡°Of course.¡±


    Brandt snickered, knowing better. ¡°So if we mention it to him tonight...?¡±


    Damn it. ¡°Don¡¯t you even dare.¡±


    The fourteen-year-old chuckled, telling me just how doomed I was right before he said, ¡°I don¡¯t know, Caroline. I really don¡¯t think he¡¯d like you dating his best friend...the very friend he warns to stay away from you, like, every time Ten visits.¡±


    Oren groaned and looked up at the ceiling. ¡°Damn...he¡¯s even going to blackmail us for his silence just like I would.¡±


    I sighed out my acceptance and glared at Brandt. ¡°Fine. Whatever. Twenty bucks.¡±


    ¡°Gee, big sister.¡± Brandt scratched his cheek thoughtfully as he glanced from between me and Oren. ¡°This is kind of a big deal. Noel would be really mad if he knew.¡±


    ¡°Twenty-five?¡± I hedged, hopefully.


    He snorted. ¡°Try fifty.¡±


    ¡°Fifty dollars? Are you insane? I¡¯d go tell Noel about it myself for fifty dollars.¡±


    ¡°Hmm,¡± Brandt answered mildly, totally not buying my bluff. ¡°It just went up to a hundred.¡±


    ¡°Oh my God. Seriously, I don¡¯t have that much money.¡±


    I did, but it was tied up in a banking account with Noel¡¯s name on it too. He was alerted to every withdrawal I made.


    ¡°Fine. Okay.¡± Oren waved his hands and stepped between me and my brothers. ¡°I have fifty. You chip in fifty,¡± he told me before he turned to Brandt, ¡°And you keep your damn mouth shut? Capiche?¡±


    Brandt nodded, the happy gleam in his eyes telling me he was satisfied with Oren¡¯s offer. ¡°Capiche,¡± he answered.


    Shoulders slumping as he blew out a relieved breath, Oren turned to me. ¡°Your haggling skills seriously suck.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I said just as Colton cried, ¡°Hey, I want a hundred dollars too.¡±


    ¡°The hundred dollars covers both of you,¡± I said through gritted teeth


    Brandt snorted. ¡°The hell it does. I¡¯m not sharing with him.¡±


    ¡°Watch your mouth, you little smart ass.¡±


    The fourteen-year-old batted his lashes at me. ¡°I¡¯d tell you to watch yours, but it seems Ten¡¯s already got that job covered.¡±


    ¡°Jesus,¡± Oren groaned, shaking his head. ¡°He¡¯s a freaking mini me.¡±


    Unfortunately, yes, he was.


    Just then, approaching footsteps outside alerted us to someone new approaching. All of us in the kitchen exchanged wide-eyed glances, knowing it had to be Noel.


    ¡°A hundred each,¡± was Brandt¡¯s hushed final offer.


    I began to sweat as I glanced at Oren for help. His eyebrows lifted as if letting me decide our fate. Scowling, I hissed at Brandt. ¡°No way.¡±


    He shrugged. ¡°Suit yourself.¡± Then he turned toward the doorway, and as if reading his mind, Colton followed.


    ¡°Noel,¡± they called together.


    My eyes bugged open. ¡°No!¡± I screeched just as Oren muttered, ¡°Shit,¡± and grabbed both boys by the scruff of the neck and hauled them backward so he could growl into their ears. ¡°One fifty each, and you both better be dead fucking silent.¡±


    Colton and Brandt nodded. Then they stared up at Noel with overly innocent smiles when he opened the back door and stepped inside with an armful of grocery bags.


    Noel paused when he saw them. He glanced from Brandt to Colton and then frowned a little before turning his attention to Oren.


    ¡°Hey. You here to work on your resume with Aspen?¡±


    As Oren nodded and murmured, ¡°Yep,¡± Brandt let out a small snort, which caused Noel to slice his attention back to the two boys, who were still standing frozen in front of him and watching him attentively.


    Crinkling his eyebrows in confusion, Noel lifted a finger to waggle between Brandt and Colton after he slowly set the bags on the kitchen table. ¡°Okay, that¡¯s creepy. What¡¯s wrong with you two?¡±


    ¡°Nothing,¡± they chorused in tandem.


    I groaned and rolled my eyes. I was going to kill both of my younger brothers, silently, at night with pillows over their faces. Really, it would do the world a service.


    ¡°Seriously,¡± Noel pressed, still staring at them before his curious gaze moved to me. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with them?¡±


    ¡°We can¡¯t say,¡± Colton chimed up. ¡°We¡¯re being paid to stay silent.¡±


    I slapped my hand to my forehead and groaned. Scratch the pillows. That was way too humane of a way to take them out.

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    Noel¡¯s gaze zipped back to me. ¡°Really?¡± he said slowly. ¡°So what is Caroline trying to hide? Hmm, Caroline?¡± Then he crinkled his eyebrows with concern. ¡°Have you been crying?¡±


    When he instantly turned to Oren as if it was his fault, I stepped between the two guys and held up my hands, facing off with my brother. ¡°You know, just because you¡¯re the legal guardian to those two, doesn¡¯t mean you¡¯re one to me any longer. I don¡¯t have to tell you anything that¡¯s going on in my life.¡±


    Ripping his narrowed gaze away from Oren, Noel shot me a surprised blink. ¡°I may not be your legal guardian, no, but you do still live under my roof. And I don¡¯t appreciate my own sister keeping secrets from me, or paying off Brandt and Colton to keep them from me either.¡±


    ¡°Well, then I guess it¡¯s time for me to move out.¡± I straightened my spine and sent him a little ha, take that! smirk.


    He lifted his eyebrows. ¡°Wow. So, this secret is so important that you¡¯re willing to move out just to keep it from me. Thanks, sis. Really, I¡¯m feeling the love here.¡±


    ¡°Good Lord, Noel. I¡¯m not saying I don¡¯t love you. I¡¯m just saying maybe it¡¯s time I leave the nest and get a little independence. I¡¯m sure Zoey and I could rent a place together.¡±


    ¡°Whoa, hey. No.¡± Oren lifted his hands, stepping forward to interrupt. ¡°Blondie¡¯s fine where she is.¡±


    When I sent him an incredulous glance, he shrugged guiltily. ¡°What? She cooks, and cleans, and keeps Hamilton perpetually happy and off my back. She ain¡¯t going anywhere.¡±


    ¡°Oh God,¡± Noel blurted out, horror dawning on his face as he spun to me. ¡°Please don¡¯t tell me you¡¯re pregnant again.¡±


    ¡°Hey!¡± Oren boomed and shoved him back hard enough that he stumbled in reverse, just as Aspen gasped, ¡°Noel!¡± from the doorway.


    As Oren demanded to know what Noel¡¯s problem was, and Noel wanted to know why Oren had shoved him, I reached for the counter to support myself as all feeling once again drained from my body, leaving me cold and exposed.


    Everything I¡¯d learned at the doctor¡¯s office came rushing back, all the words I¡¯d heard, the feelings I¡¯d experienced, the absolute, crushing regret. My chest heaved as I tried to pull in a steady breath, while Oren stepped into Noel¡¯s face, looking livid.


    ¡°I fucking shoved you because that was a douchebag thing to say to your own sister.¡±


    I wanted to call him off; he was going to get us exposed if he kept acting like an enraged boyfriend standing up for his girl who¡¯d just been insulted. But everything else just hurt so bad.


    ¡°Who the hell do you think you are, telling me how to treat my family?¡± Noel snarled. ¡°And given her past, it was a completely legitimate question.¡±


    ¡°Noel!¡± Aspen stormed forward to poke him in the chest


    But before she could berate him as well, I said, ¡°You know what, it was a legitimate question. Who knows when Caroline will get herself knocked up again? But you¡¯ll be happy to know, big brother, that I can never bother you with another pregnancy scare ever again. The doctor just informed me today that my baby-making equipment is permanently out of commission.¡±


    His mouth dropped open. ¡°What?¡±


    I couldn¡¯t explain any more to him. Whirling away, I raced from the room.


    Watching tears fill Caroline¡¯s eyes right before she rushed from the kitchen and not being able to chase after her had to be one the hardest things I¡¯d ever fucking done¡ªor not done, in this case. Or maybe restraining myself from knocking Noel¡¯s teeth down his throat was the hardest. I couldn¡¯t quite decide. But I¡¯ll tell you one thing; standing there like a dumbass and doing nothing slaughtered me.


    I shook¡ªliterally vibrated¡ªwith the need to react, while Gamble lifted his hand and spun in a circle, looking to all of us for answers. ¡°Will someone please clue me in on what the fuck just happened?¡±


    I turned away from him and grabbed the edge of the counter, squeezing as hard as I could to keep from choking him and telling him how much he¡¯d just hurt Caroline.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know about the baby-making equipment thing,¡± Brandt insisted, lifting his hands in innocence.


    ¡°Ten?¡± Gamble said, his voice hard.


    Still facing the cabinets, I clenched my teeth. ¡°I just know what I overheard her telling your wife.¡±


    Gamble sighed. ¡°Aspen?¡±


    Her voice sounded irritated when she answered. ¡°Like she told you, she just got back from the doctor.¡±

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    I glanced toward Gam in time to see his face pale. Even his freaking lips bleached of color. ¡°And?¡±


    ¡°And...there was...damage.¡± Her gaze strayed toward the two younger Gamble boys. But Noel didn¡¯t seem to care about them. He rolled out his hand, asking to hear everything. ¡°That procedure she had last year,¡± she started tactfully. ¡°I guess she didn¡¯t heal right from it.¡±


    Gam sucked in a breath and then lowered his face. ¡°Fuck,¡± he whispered. Covering his face with both hands, he groaned. ¡°Now I feel like total shit.¡±


    ¡°Well, you should,¡± I snapped before I could stop myself. ¡°Because you are.¡±


    Dropping his hands, he turned a glare my way. ¡°Excuse me?¡±


    ¡°You knew how all that shit affected her. You mentioned how worried about her you were every fucking day. You¡¯d have to be a complete idiot not to realize how sensitive she¡¯d be about the entire topic. And yet you bandied it around tonight like it was some...joke.¡±


    ¡°Great.¡± Gam shook his head and glanced up at the ceiling. ¡°I¡¯m getting a lecture about my behavior from Mr. King of Insensitive himself.¡±


    I sniffed. ¡°Guess that should tell you how fucking wrong you were.¡±


    He nodded. ¡°You¡¯re right. You¡¯re absolutely right.¡± With a glance at his wife and two brothers, he announced, ¡°I¡¯m going to go find her. I need to apologize.¡±


    As he left the room, I rubbed my hands over my face and slumped against the counter.


    ¡°Well, I¡¯m glad you said that to him so I didn¡¯t have to,¡± Aspen murmured.


    Dropping my arms to my sides, I forced a smile. ¡°Happy to be of service.¡±


    She sent me a gracious nod. ¡°And in return, I¡¯m happy to glance over your resume.¡±


    An hour later, my mind was straying. Oh, who the fuck was I kidding? It¡¯d been impossible to concentrate from the moment I¡¯d sat down with Gamble¡¯s woman in the dining room. Overall, she seemed impressed with my format, but she¡¯d definitely used her green pen.


    ¡°I think if you employ the suggestions I made, you¡¯ll get some amazing results.¡±


    When she glanced at me, I nodded. ¡°Yeah. Thanks.¡±


    She nodded too and drew in a breath. ¡°So...do you have any places in mind that you¡¯d like to apply to?¡±


    ¡°Actually, yes. I have a list.¡± I checked the front door, for like the millionth time in the last sixty minutes, but no one opened it. No Gamble. No Caroline. No boogie man. Where the hell were they? Was she okay?


    ¡°Really?¡± Aspen sounded surprised by my answer. ¡°That¡¯s...wow, that¡¯s great. I knew Noel was worried you wouldn¡¯t¡ª¡±


    I cocked her a look, and her eyes flared before she slapped her mouth shut. I sniffed. ¡°He was worried I wouldn¡¯t grow up and look for a real job after I graduated?¡±


    ¡°I...¡± She shook her head, completely flustered. ¡°He just...¡±


    ¡°Takes on the responsibility of the world,¡± I said for her, ¡°and worries about everyone and everything they do.¡±


    She smiled softly. ¡°Just everyone important to him.¡±


    Realizing I was included in that group, I glanced down at my hands, the very hands I¡¯d used to lay claim to his sister.


    I was such a bastard.


    ¡°Well...¡± Aspen sounded suddenly uncomfortable.


    I looked up. ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± I blurted.


    Her eyes widened and she pulled back in shock. ¡°You¡¯re...I¡¯m...sorry, I¡¯m confused.¡±


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t very...respectful,¡± I told her, ¡°when you and Gam were, you know, first hooking up.¡±


    She swallowed noisily. ¡°Well, it was pretty scandalous and...illicit.¡± She shrugged and let out a nervous laugh. ¡°Really? What were you to think?¡±


    ¡°I should¡¯ve thought I had my friend¡¯s back, no matter what.¡±


    ¡°But, you did,¡± she started in my defense. ¡°I explicitly remember you coming to my house to cuss me out after I broke up with him. And then you¡ª¡±


    ¡°I got rip-roaring drunk and hollered at him from across a room full of people asking how you guys did it,¡± I confessed in a rush.


    Aspen sat up straighter and worked her jaw before exhaling. ¡°Oh,¡± she finally said. ¡°I...did not know about that.¡±


    I looked down at my hands. ¡°At the time, I didn¡¯t think anyone would believe me. I mean, I was drunk, and I always spouted off crazy shit. But I bet you anything Marci Bennett was there, in that room, and heard everything.¡±

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    Aspen shivered and hugged herself.


    ¡°All it took was for one person to believe me and do a little investigating, and knowing that has bothered me for a full fucking year.¡± When she glanced at me, I almost felt the urge to tear up. ¡°It¡¯s my fault you got fired.¡±


    Her shoulders fell. ¡°No. No, it¡¯s not. It¡¯s my fault I was fired. I¡¯m the one who started a relationship with a student. I knew the rules. I knew the consequences, and I did it anyway.¡±


    ¡°But¡ª¡±


    ¡°No. If anything, your actions merely accelerated the inevitable. What happened was going to happen, Ten. And you know what? I¡¯m glad. I ended up with the man of my dreams. I wouldn¡¯t have been able to do that if I¡¯d stayed there. But here I am now, and I¡¯m happier than I¡¯ve ever been, happier than I ever thought I could be. I feel fulfilled in every way, because I¡¯m going to get that goddamn teaching job at that high school, and Noel is going to stop stressing that he somehow ruined my life, and then everything is going to be perfect. So, honestly, I would like to thank you for whatever part you played in all that.¡±


    I shook my head. Instead of getting mad at me, the woman had ended up thanking me. ¡°That¡¯s messed up,¡± I said.


    She smiled. ¡°Well, take it or leave it. I¡¯m still grateful for everything you¡¯ve done for us.¡± This time it was her turn to eye the front door. ¡°It¡¯s been over an hour since they left.¡±


    ¡°An hour and eighteen minutes.¡±


    Aspen shot me a knowing glance. I pulled back, hoping I hadn¡¯t given anything away.


    ¡°Caroline¡¯s been so much happier lately,¡± she said.


    My pulse thundered through my ears. I had no idea how to respond. Was this her way of telling me she knew about us? Or was she just rattling out stray conversation topics?


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, what?¡± I asked, my mouth incredibly dry.


    Her eyes flashed wide. ¡°Nothing.¡±


    I nodded. ¡°Well.¡± I pushed to my feet. ¡°I¡¯m probably going to shove off. This conversation¡¯s filled my quota of touchy-feely for the next few months, so I¡¯m getting the itching need to go do something really manly like go home, watch some sports in my underwear, and scratch my balls for an entire hour.¡±


    ¡°Oh, good.¡± Her shoulders released all the tension in them. ¡°Because I was running out of things to say.¡±


    I chuckled and gathered my things. ¡°You¡¯re all right, Dr. Kavanagh. I mean...shit.¡± I flashed her an apologetic cringe. She hadn¡¯t been Dr. Kavanagh for months. She was Mrs. Gamble now. Or was it Dr. Gamble?


    ¡°It¡¯s just Aspen,¡± she told me.


    I slipped the strap of my messenger bag over my shoulder. ¡°See you around.¡±


    As soon as I escaped the house, I pulled out my phone and started for my truck.


    Where are you? I wrote to Caroline. Meet me. Now.


    I didn¡¯t even have to wait thirty seconds for her reply. I¡¯m not really in the mood for sex tonight.


    ¡°Jesus, woman,¡± I muttered, and punched in my reply. Wow, you honestly think that lowly of me, don¡¯t you? This isn¡¯t a booty call. I just need you.


    I waited another minute. When she didn¡¯t respond, I growled under my breath and started my truck. Once I made it home, I restrained myself from sending another message until I was in my room with the door shut. Zwinn had been cuddled on the couch, watching one of their shows together, but I¡¯d just grumbled something at them as I passed.


    As soon as I flopped myself onto my bed, I pounded out a new text. Do you even realize how fucking hard it was for me not to race after you when you left the kitchen crying? I just got out of my session with your sister-in-law, and I¡¯m not holding back any longer. If I don¡¯t get you into my arms before the end of the night, I might lose my fucking mind. COME OVER NOW.


    Wow. You have the sweetest way with words, she wrote back.


    I snorted. If you wanted sweet, you would¡¯ve gone after Hamilton. But you wanted me, so this is what you get. If your ass isn¡¯t in my bedroom in twenty, I¡¯m coming for you. I don¡¯t care if I have to break into Gam¡¯s house, push him out of my way, and storm the halls to find you.


    Fine. I¡¯ll be there in five.


    Tell me where you are. I¡¯ll come get you.


    I SAID I WOULD BE THERE IN FIVE.


    Okay. Fine. Damn. I let her win that one and come to me.


    I wasn¡¯t sure what I was doing here. Oren had been downright pushy in his texts. I wasn¡¯t in the mood for pushy. I wanted to be mad at him, at the entire world. I didn¡¯t feel stable enough to be around anyone, but I found a sense of relief as I tromped up the steps to his apartment building and to his front door. No matter how I felt or what mood I was in, I still wanted to be near him.

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    I knocked once on the door before trying it to find it unlocked. So I let myself in.


    Zwinn sent me a sympathetic smile as if they knew everything. Then they pointed down the hall. ¡°He¡¯s in his room.¡±


    I headed that way. As soon as I stepped through the doorway, hungry hands pulled me against a hard, hot chest. He kissed my forehead before grasping the hem of my shirt and yanking it up, over my head.


    ¡°I thought this wasn¡¯t a booty call,¡± I said as I lifted my arms to help him along.


    He reached around for the back clasp of my bra. ¡°It¡¯s not. No talking.¡±


    After discarding the bra, he leaned in and kissed the top-most swell of my breasts. Then he removed my pants. Yeah, this sure as hell felt like a booty call to me. I expected him to go for my panties next, but he shocked me senseless when he urged one of his huge T-shirts over my head instead. It smelled like him, and I couldn¡¯t help but to inhale the heady scent.


    Then he took my hand and led me to the bed. Once we¡¯d crawled under the covers and he¡¯d positioned my head to rest on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around my waist, he finally released a sigh and all his muscles loosened under me. ¡°There,¡± he said, sounding satisfied. ¡°That¡¯s better.¡±


    I smiled and closed my eyes, letting his strong, solid heartbeat echo into my ear. It really was better. But he made it even more amazing by threading his fingers through my hair and rhythmically stroking my long locks.


    ¡°Mmm. That feels good.¡±


    I could fall asleep to this, no problem. I could just forget everything and let him take care of me.


    And in the morning, my womb would still be barren. My brother would still be in the dark about the greatest relationship of my life, and Oren...Oren still wouldn¡¯t know just how strongly or how long I¡¯d loved him.


    ¡°Tell me about your childhood.¡±


    His soft question had me fluttering my eyes open. ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because I want to know. Gamble never talked about it. I knew next to nothing about you, except that you existed, until the day I met you.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not very glamorous.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t care. I just...I want to know what it was like for you. Had you lived in that trailer house your entire life?¡±


    ¡°No. I mean, yes, we¡¯d always lived in trailer houses, but not that one specifically. We stayed in a little bit nicer, three-bedroom place until Noel left for college. My mom couldn¡¯t keep up with the bills, though, so we downgraded to the one you met us in.¡±


    I felt him nod, but he kept petting my hair as I described my life to him. ¡°Noel basically raised us. My mother was gone a lot, and when she was home, she didn¡¯t pay a lot of attention to us. I remember her snapping at me when Brandt and Colton were little, telling me to keep them quiet because she had a headache or something. Noel buffered a lot. He¡¯s such a natural leader.¡± I smiled. ¡°Still is, kind of bossy sometimes, but I wouldn¡¯t trade him for the world. He always made sure we were fed and clothed and entertained. Looking back now, I¡¯m amazed by how much work he went through to keep the three of us happy. I mean, he couldn¡¯t do much, but he...he tried, you know. He really tried.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s a good brother,¡± Oren murmured.


    ¡°The best,¡± I agreed.


    ¡°Were you mad at him when he left for college?¡±


    ¡°No. Not at all.¡± I remembered how petulant Brandt had been, but I¡¯d known Noel needed to go. I¡¯d been ready to take over and do whatever I had to so he could make something of himself. I¡¯d been so proud my big brother was going to get a college degree with his football scholarship. ¡°I didn¡¯t realize quite how much stuff he took care of until he was gone, though.¡± Until I¡¯d had to step in and try to do what he¡¯d always done.


    ¡°How old were you?¡±


    ¡°Fifteen. And I really tried to use the money he sent home wisely. I paid the bills he told me were the most important first, and I got the groceries we needed, but sometimes...I don¡¯t know. I¡¯d splurge when I shouldn¡¯t have, and I¡¯d get Brandt and Colton some toy they really didn¡¯t need or me a cute outfit that cost way too much. But I kept trying to fix every mistake I made, except each one seemed to set us back just a little bit further.¡±


    ¡°You did the best you could.¡±


    ¡°And yet I never achieved the Noel Gamble level of perfection.¡±


    Against me, Oren snorted. ¡°Who could? Trust me, I played ball with the guy for four years. No one can be as great as ESU¡¯s almighty football star.¡±

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    Arching my eyebrows, I rolled around to face him. ¡°Do I detect a bit of jealousy in your voice, sir?¡±


    He shrugged and leaned in to lightly kiss my nose. ¡°Not really, but he did steal all the glory, despite the fact I had to catch most of his damn passes. I¡¯ll tell you now, not all of them were that perfect.¡±


    I moved my hand up his beard stubble. ¡°Well, thank God I¡¯m not the only one put out about the fact he¡¯s so perfect, and I¡¯m not.¡±


    ¡°Hey, I never said I wasn¡¯t perfect. He just has to be...perfecter?¡±


    ¡°You mean, more perfect?¡±


    He shrugged. ¡°I like perfecter better.¡±


    I grinned and snuggled against him.


    ¡°Keep talking,¡± he instructed softly as his hand strummed along my back. ¡°I like learning about you.¡±


    ¡°Well, there¡¯s not much else to say. After Noel left, I progressively started to slip. I grew lonely, stressed, perpetually worried. When Sander Scotini said hi to me one day in school, I was so starved for something to just...take me away from it all, I latched on to his attention like the...the stupid idiot I was.¡±


    Oren tensed under me and his hand stopped moving. ¡°You weren¡¯t stupid. The fucker just knew to strike when you were the most vulnerable.¡±


    I sighed. ¡°Yeah, I guess. But I really should¡¯ve known better. I should¡¯ve known I didn¡¯t mean anything to someone like him. I should¡¯ve¡ª¡±


    ¡°What the hell ever,¡± Oren snapped. He rolled me onto my back and rose up to send me a piercing scowl. ¡°You meant to say you should¡¯ve known you were too good for a pansy-ass rich prick like him, right?¡±


    I smiled softly, but glanced away. ¡°I know I¡¯m not too good for anyone¡ª¡±


    ¡°The fuck you¡¯re not.¡± Grasping my chin, Oren turned my face until I was looking up into his eyes. ¡°You are...amazing. And the only thing that douche did right was fuck everything up for you, because it landed you here. With me.¡±


    I drew in a breath, unexplainably touched by the intensity in his gaze and the fever behind his words. He meant what he said. Tears prickled my eyes, but I blinked them away.


    Setting my hand on Oren¡¯s bare chest, I felt the steady thump of his heart under my fingers and marveled at what an amazing heart it could be. ¡°So, you really don¡¯t expect sex right now?¡± I asked.


    He blinked at the question, obviously not expecting it, and maybe not even thinking about it. Then he scowled. ¡°I told you I didn¡¯t in the text, didn¡¯t I? Did you think I was lying?¡± He sounded a little insulted.


    ¡°Well, no.¡± Hmm, this was strange. ¡°I knew you weren¡¯t lying...when you said it. But now that I¡¯m here...¡±


    He huffed out a breath, definitely insulted. ¡°I know this might sound crazy, but I actually can survive without it for one night.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but...¡± I shrugged self-consciously. ¡°Since you¡¯re being all nice, and snuggly, and understanding, I kind of...want it now.¡±


    ¡°Oh, Jesus,¡± he groaned, tightening his arms around me. ¡°I think my dick just went instantly hard. Like, all the blood rushed south so fast my head is woozy.¡±


    A smile lit my face. ¡°Is it, now?¡± Instead of reaching up to massage his woozy head, my hand went south to massage...well, his other head.


    The boy was definitely not lying. He was as hard as a rock under my fingers. He groaned as I wrapped my palm around him through his boxer shorts and pumped.


    ¡°Goddamn.¡± He arched under my touch, pushing his hips up against me. ¡°I was prepared to be a noble gentleman and everything. But fuck that.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d rather you fuck me instead,¡± I said as I pushed him onto his back and crawled on top of him.


    I knew I had to go home eventually and face Noel again, but I avoided it for as long as possible. After I fell asleep in Oren¡¯s arms, I didn¡¯t stir for the rest of the night. I woke to light streaming through the window and his palm cupped possessively around my breast.


    He was warm at my back and I just lay there a second, reveling in the feeling of waking up in his bed, with his hands on me. When I drew in a deep, invigorated breath, loving this moment, he stirred behind me, shifting until he was spooned up against me, his morning wood nudging my bare bottom and his fingers reflexively tightening on my breast.


    ¡°Damn,¡± he said on a groan. ¡°I could wake up like this every day. My cock really likes snuggling with your ass.¡±


    I grinned. ¡°Oh, does it? Or does it like this better?¡± Sitting up, I twisted around to face him, and then I rolled him onto his back so I could kiss my way down his chest and take his erection in my hand. His purple birthmark in the shape of West Virginia looked particularly bright this morning. I loved how he never bothered to hide it from me anymore. We hadn¡¯t been together with the lights off since the demise of Midnight Visitor, and I loved that too. We were open about everything with each other, kept no secrets, and we shared all kinds of things I¡¯d never shared with anyone else in my life.

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    Wanting to show him just how much he meant to me, I paid his birthmark a little extra attention and licked my way up the side of it before taking the head of his cock into my mouth.


    He grasped my hair tight, just the way I liked, and I groaned as I sucked him to the back of my throat.


    ¡°Okay, you¡¯re right,¡± he rasped. ¡°I like waking up this way better.¡±


    I chuckled around a mouthful and proceeded to give him the best head of my life, except he tugged me off him just before he came. Then he rolled me onto my back and gazed in awe at me before picking up one of my legs. Starting at my ankle, he kissed and licked and nibbled his way down until his mouth was on my pussy and his tongue was inside me.


    ¡°Oh my God, Oren.¡± I panted and squeezed handfuls of the sheets under me. ¡°You feel so good. That feels so good.¡±


    He glanced up to ask, ¡°You gonna come?¡±


    ¡°Yes!¡± I snapped, wishing he¡¯d return his mouth to me, but instead he reared up into a sitting position.


    Gazing down at me where I was still lying on my back with my legs, splayed open, he smiled slowly. ¡°You are so fucking gorgeous.¡±


    He grasped one of my legs and then the other. ¡°The first moment I saw you, in nothing but a T-shirt, I looked at these beautiful toned thighs right here,¡± he lifted them as he spoke, ¡°and I wanted to know what they¡¯d feel like wrapped around me.¡±


    I helped him curl my legs around him. He pushed up onto his knees and then hovered himself above me, aligning us until I felt his heat and hardness against me, ready to enter.


    ¡°I saw this mouth,¡± he went on, ¡°chapped and pale. And I wanted to taste it.¡± Leaning down, he pressed his lips gently to mine. We breathed each other in until he murmured, ¡°then I looked into your eyes, and...Jesus.¡±


    He pressed his forehead to mine and gazed into my eyes. ¡°What the fuck have you done to me, Caroline?¡±


    He thrust into me, and I gasped out my shock from the initial stretch, so full, so big. Always so big.


    ¡°Why couldn¡¯t I stay away from you?¡± he demanded with another long, slow thrust. ¡°Why can¡¯t I get enough of you?¡± Thrust. ¡°Why do I want to own every fucking piece of you?¡± Thrust.


    ¡°B-because turnabout¡¯s fair play, I guess.¡± I grasped his hair to help me absorb the delicious impact of each plunge, but that only seemed to make him pump harder and faster.


    With a disbelievingly little laugh, he shook his head. ¡°What¡¯re you saying? That I deserve this because you want me as much as I want you? Impossible. No one could want someone else this much. No one could fucking crave another this much.¡±


    Leaning up, I whispered into his ear. ¡°I do.¡±


    With a tortured groan, he went crazy, fucking me to the mattress with a fervor I loved. I tightened my legs around him, tightened my grip in his hair and kissed him hard.


    We attacked each other so savagely that when I came, I bit his tongue. And I think he liked that too.


    ¡°Damn.¡± He panted against my throat as sweat dripped off his temple and onto my shoulder. ¡°That was...that was...¡±


    ¡°Fucking awesome,¡± I breathed.


    He lifted his face and grinned down at me. ¡°Yeah.¡± Then he blinked, and his brow furrowed. ¡°Do I have to take you home today?¡±


    I shook my head, gladly willing to let him keep me forever. But then I frowned and nodded, realizing reality still awaited us, no matter how long we stayed holed up in his room.


    He groaned. ¡°That¡¯s what I was afraid of.¡± Then he rolled off me and sat up. I wasn¡¯t ready for the absence of his warmth yet, but I hugged myself and sat up too.


    We dressed quietly. Oren glanced at me with a wrinkle of concern between his eyes as I slid on my shoes and he grabbed his wallet off his dresser. ¡°You okay?¡±


    I knew he was asking about last night and what I¡¯d learned at the doctor¡¯s office, but I rolled my eyes. ¡°After what just happened, I¡¯m fabulous.¡±


    He chuckled, but not for long. ¡°I¡¯m serious, baby.¡± Slipping his arms around my waist when I straightened, he pressed his forehead to mine. ¡°I know what the doctor told you wasn¡¯t what you wanted to hear, but...¡± He sighed. I don¡¯t think he knew what to say next, so he just shrugged. ¡°Fuck, you got me, and I¡¯m probably more to handle than any kid you could have.¡±


    His attempt to cheer me up made me smile. I was so tempted to tell him I loved him, that I¡¯d loved him for months, before I¡¯d ever snuck into his bedroom posing as someone else. But I settled for setting my mouth against his and murmuring, ¡°I¡¯ll take it. Thank you.¡±

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    He kissed me back just as lightly before drawing away. ¡°Let¡¯s get you home.¡±


    I followed him from the bedroom, only to smell something really, really good coming from the kitchen. ¡°Oh my God.¡± I squeezed his arm. ¡°What is that smell?¡±


    He winked back at me. ¡°Saturday mornings with Zwinn. Come and see.¡±


    After drawing me to the opening of the kitchen, he paused beside me and looped an arm around my shoulder. ¡°They cook pancakes and bacon together every week. It¡¯s kind of cute.¡±


    Cute? It was freaking adorable. Quinn and Zoey had their backs to us as they stood at the griddle, one pouring batter in, one flipping pancakes. They talked in hushed tones, and their heads were intimately close. Every couple of seconds, one would touch the other.


    I could see them in fifty years still doing this very thing, cooking together and just...reveling in ordinary things, as long as they did them with one another.


    ¡°It¡¯s like greeting card precious,¡± I whispered up to Oren. ¡°I think I¡¯m going to cry.¡± He snickered and passed me an imaginary tissue. I pretended to accept and wipe my face. ¡°Thank you.¡±


    Zoey turned then. ¡°Oh.¡± She jumped, and Quinn glanced over. ¡°Caroline! You¡¯re still here.¡±


    ¡°We slept in,¡± I confessed, though neither of us had once mentioned taking me home last night. I think we both knew I wasn¡¯t going anywhere until morning.


    ¡°Since you¡¯re already this late, why don¡¯t you stay for breakfast? We always make plenty.¡±


    I glanced up at Oren, and he answered for me as he stepped into the kitchen. ¡°Sure. She needs to understand why I¡¯m not willing to let either of you move out of this apartment.¡±


    Zoey crinkled him a confused look. ¡°O...kay.¡±


    So we ate breakfast with Zwinn, and it was nice. Oren cracked his usual off-color jokes, and Zoey updated me on her life since I hadn¡¯t seen much of her lately.


    ¡°My biological father keeps asking me to visit him in California where he¡¯s staying this summer. But¡­I don¡¯t know.¡±


    ¡°I say fuck him,¡± Oren spoke through a mouthful. ¡°The asshole did nothing while he knew you were being raised by an abusive douchebag. You don¡¯t owe that dick shit.¡±


    I glanced at Quinn, who remained quiet. I had a feeling he probably agreed with Oren, but he would loyally back any decision Zoey made.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I murmured thoughtfully. ¡°If I ever had the opportunity to meet my sperm donor, I¡¯d want to, if nothing but for curiosity¡¯s sake. Find out where my chin and eyes and stubborn personality came from.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll tell you where your stubborn personality came from.¡± Oren stood and not only gathered his cleaned plate, but mine too. ¡°That¡¯s all from your brother.¡±


    I watched him load the dishwasher. Not only did his sweetness in taking care of my dish impress me, but I liked how he reminded me that I didn¡¯t need to know how far back my roots went; I knew where I¡¯d come from and who my real family was. Noel. No matter how much his thoughtless words had hurt me yesterday, I loved my big brother and he loved me.


    I needed to go home and talk to him.


    Once Oren was finished, he dusted his hands on his thighs and turned to me. ¡°Ready to get back?¡±


    Zoey spoke up before I could answer. ¡°Oh, I could take her home, if you want.¡±


    Oren instantly scowled. I liked that he wanted to be the one to drive me home. But then he sighed in defeat and mumbled, ¡°Yeah. That¡¯d probably be best.¡±


    So Zoey ended up driving me home, but not until Oren had yanked me into the hall for a goodbye kiss. ¡°If Gam gives you any shit for staying out all night, call me.¡±


    I grinned up at him and slid my fingers over his sexy scruff. ¡°And what¡¯re you going to do if he does?¡±


    He shrugged and grinned back, rubbing his nose against mine. ¡°I¡¯ll come over and run interference, make him hang out with me or something so he can¡¯t rag on you.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s sweet.¡± I lifted my mouth to his, but didn¡¯t kiss him. ¡°You¡¯re so sweet.¡±


    ¡°Oh, yeah? How sweet?¡±


    ¡°Sweet enough that I may want to see you again.¡±


    ¡°You better, woman.¡± To stake his claim, he kissed me hard and long. Zoey finally had to clear her throat to break us apart. Still, Oren had to pat my butt and nuzzle my neck a second longer before stepping back and letting me go.


    I couldn¡¯t stop glowing all the way home.


    ¡°You¡¯re still smiling,¡± Zoey said, glancing across her car at me.

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    With a sigh, I nodded. ¡°I just can¡¯t stop.¡±


    ¡°He makes you happy.¡±


    I glanced at her, scowling slightly. ¡°Well, yeah. Did you think he¡¯d make me miserable?¡±


    ¡°No, but I thought you guys would...I don¡¯t know, argue more, I guess.¡±


    I shrugged, thinking it through. ¡°We do...kind of. But we seem to be just as quick to make up. Disagreeing with him is like...foreplay.¡±


    Zoey sputtered out a laugh. ¡°Okay, that¡¯s more than I wanted to know, but still, I¡¯m glad for you. I hope it all comes out okay.¡±


    ¡°So do I.¡± I leaned over and slapped a quick kiss to her cheek as she pulled into my driveway. ¡°Thank you for being the best friend ever.¡±


    ¡°Just take care of yourself,¡± she warned as I opened the door. ¡°And call if Noel gets mad. I¡¯ll tell him you stayed on our couch.¡±


    I felt bad for making her lie as much as I already had, so I blew her a kiss after I slid out of the car. Then I jogged to the back door, thinking I¡¯d be less likely to run into anyone in the kitchen than the living room.


    But there Noel sat at the kitchen table, reading something on the laptop in front of him. He looked up as I eased open the door. When our gazes met, I froze.


    ¡°You¡¯re home,¡± was all he said.


    I came the rest of the way inside and shut the door quietly behind me. ¡°Yep,¡± I answered the obvious.


    ¡°I left you about a dozen messages.¡±


    ¡°And I answered you.¡±


    ¡°All you said was, ¡®I¡¯m fine.¡¯¡±


    I shrugged and glanced away. ¡°Well¡­I was.¡±


    ¡°No, you weren¡¯t.¡± Clasping his hands together, he set his elbows on the table and kept watching me. The fact that he wasn¡¯t shouting was a small miracle, but still¡­I didn¡¯t really want to talk to him just yet. I needed time to prepare my words.


    ¡°Where were you?¡± he asked.


    I snorted and shook my head. When I started for the doorway to leave the kitchen, he hopped from his chair and darted into my path.


    ¡°Caroline, I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    I stopped abruptly and gaped up at him, not at all expecting an apology.


    He blew out a breath and spiked a hand through his hair. ¡°Aspen told me not to ask where you stayed all night, and fuck. Here, it¡¯s the first thing I ask. What I really want to know is, are you okay?¡±


    Now that was completely unexpected. ¡°What?¡± I had to ask, sure I¡¯d misheard him.


    He flushed. ¡°I was way out of line last night. And I¡¯m¡­you know I never meant to hurt you, right?¡±


    I blew out a breath, realizing he was talking about my doctor¡¯s visit. Oren had successfully made me forget it for a while. I¡¯d even forgotten to tell Zoey about it.


    Lifting my chin, I glanced into his concerned blue eyes, the same color as my own. ¡°You didn¡¯t hurt me, Noel. I hurt myself. I did this to myself.¡±


    When my chin trembled, he muttered, ¡°Shit,¡± under his breath and yanked me to him for a hard hug. ¡°But I didn¡¯t have to be an inconsiderate ass about it, and I¡­I¡¯m so damn sorry, kiddo. I can¡¯t even imagine what you¡¯re going through.¡±


    Well, not thinking about it had been working the best so far. But now that he was talking about it again, my eyes stung. ¡°I just wish¡­¡± I choked out. ¡°I wish I¡¯d done so many things differently. I wish¡­¡±


    ¡°I know.¡± He stroked my hair slowly. ¡°I feel like shit because I wasn¡¯t there for you when you went through all that. If only I¡¯d been there, if only I hadn¡¯t made you feel as if you couldn¡¯t come to me for help¡ª¡±


    ¡°You didn¡¯t do anything wrong,¡± I started, but he shushed me.


    ¡°Yeah, I did. I was supposed to protect you and take care of you. Instead, I yelled at you when you told me you were pregnant. I made you¡ª¡±


    ¡°Noel, you can¡¯t take credit for everything I did wrong. I made my own decisions, and I¡¯ve had to live with them. I¡¯ve had to¡ª¡± My voice choked up. ¡°I deserve this, you know. I killed my first baby, I kept it from even starting its life, from taking its first breath, I don¡¯t deserve another chance¡ª¡±


    ¡°Care, don¡¯t talk that way. Don¡¯t¡ª¡± He grasped my arms and looked deep into my eyes. ¡°You were a scared, seventeen-year-old girl alone with no one around to hold your hand. And you¡¯d already told me about it. That meant you were ready and willing to have that baby. I don¡¯t think you ever planned on getting an abortion. I think that little dick¡¯s mommy and daddy got a hold of you and intimidated you into it. They flashed a fuck load of money into your face and¡ª¡±

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    ¡°It wasn¡¯t about the money. I didn¡¯t do it for the money.¡± Noel nodded, believing me, so I added, ¡°They threatened you. They said they¡¯d hurt you, and Colton and Brandt too. You were doing so well with football, headed for the pros. And Colton and Brandt... Why should you or they have to pay for something stupid I had done?¡±


    He snorted and shook his head. ¡°And just how in the hell did they think they were going to hurt us?¡±


    I shrugged. ¡°They didn¡¯t say, but they were rich and powerful. I knew they could if they wanted to.¡±


    ¡°Bastards,¡± he hissed.


    I nodded. ¡°Yeah. They were, but I still didn¡¯t have to¡­¡± When my voice failed me, Noel kissed my temple.


    ¡°It¡¯s over and passed,¡± he assured me. ¡°I know it¡¯s going to keep haunting you for quite a while, but I want you to know, from here on out, you¡¯ll always have my support¡­no matter what.¡±


    I nodded and swallowed hard. ¡°Thank you,¡± I whispered. But now I felt like crap. I think I would¡¯ve preferred it if he¡¯d just yelled at me. Nice Noel knew how to pile on the guilt without even trying.


    I hugged him because I just couldn¡¯t look him in the eye, knowing I was keeping so much stuff from him, knowing he still wouldn¡¯t support me if only he knew where I¡¯d spent the night.


    ¡°Well,¡± I started. ¡°I have finals to study for, so¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh, before you go.¡± He grabbed a slip of paper off the table. ¡°Tad called.¡±


    I paused and whirled back, snagging the sheet from him. ¡°Did he? Oh, thank God.¡± Then I scowled thoughtfully, wondering why he¡¯d called the house phone. ¡°Hmm. I must¡¯ve given him the landline number instead of my cell.¡±


    Noel lifted an eyebrow. ¡°Is he who you were with last night?¡±


    The question made me stumble to a stop. ¡°What? Good God, no.¡± I wrinkled my nose into a frown. ¡°He¡¯s in my film class. Our final is a group project, and I had to be the group leader. He was supposed to do the sound effects, and I was starting to worry I¡¯d have to take care of it myself.¡±


    I¡¯d already had to take over Blaze¡¯s job to write up the dialogue for the short skit we¡¯d had to film. She was still pissed at me for calling her a loser at Forbidden, but it boggled my mind why she¡¯d shoot herself in the foot and not even participate in the group project. Not only did the professor grade us, but we had to turn in reports on all the other group members too. No one was going to give her a good grade.


    ¡°So, this Tad guy isn¡¯t who¡ª¡± When I glanced at Noel and lifted an eyebrow, he paused and cleared his throat. ¡°It¡¯s just that you¡¯ve been gone a lot more lately. I figured you might be¡­seeing someone.¡±


    ¡°Oh, you did, did you?¡±


    ¡°If you are,¡± he went on, emphasizing his words through gritted teeth, ¡°then I want to meet him.¡±


    It was obvious that Aspen had gotten to him and strongly advised him as to what he should and shouldn¡¯t say to me. It was kind of funny to see him hold back and not blurt out what I knew he wanted to say, but it only made me feel worse because he was being this considerate.


    Still. ¡°If I was seeing someone,¡± I smiled and patted his cheek, ¡°I¡¯d wait a good long while before letting the poor guy meet you.¡±


    He snorted. ¡°Yeah, probably after you¡¯re married and pregnant with your second¡ª¡±


    When my face paled, he realized what he¡¯d done. Gnashing his teeth, he closed his eyes and cursed softly. ¡°Shit, Caroline. I¡¯m sorry. I forgot.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± But honestly, it hurt. It hurt like hell. ¡°I think the whole idea is going to take us all a while to get used to.¡± I just had to concentrate on everything else¡ªschool, my family, Oren¡ªand I could survive this.


    Noel didn¡¯t seem to believe my forgiveness, so I hugged him tight.


    ¡°We¡¯ll make it through this,¡± he told me, ¡°one way or another.¡±


    I was going through Caroline withdrawals.


    After she¡¯d stayed all night with me on Friday, I woke up every morning after that reaching for her. It sucked ass that she was never there. We hadn¡¯t even been able to sneak her over for the next four nights because of her work, my work, and fucking school assignments coming due. So, not only did I just want her around, I was starting to get horny, too.


    When I spotted her sitting under a tree on campus on Wednesday, wiping her hair out of her face as she read something on her phone, no way was I staying away.

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    ¡°Just the woman I was thinking about,¡± I said as soon as I approached.


    Her head jerked up, her eyes wide with surprise. After glancing around at all the passing people heading off to classes, she turned back to stare up at me. ¡°People can see us.¡±


    ¡°Damn.¡± I snapped my fingers and winced as I plopped down next to her. ¡°And here I thought my invisibility cloak was working today.¡±


    She rolled her eyes. ¡°Hardy har har. But seriously, what are you doing talking to me in public?¡±


    I scowled. ¡°Is talking to you in public not allowed?¡± To keep from reaching for her like I was aching to, I opened my book bag and dug around before pulling up a box full of Junior Mints.


    ¡°I just¡­I guess I didn¡¯t expect for you to...you know...talk to me in public.¡±


    After I opened the top of my Junior Mints, I silently offered her a handful.


    A smile lit her face before she held out her palm. ¡°Thank you.¡± I sprinkled a pile into her hand and then dumped some straight into my mouth.


    ¡°I talk to you in public all the time,¡± I told her around a mouthful.


    She seemed to consider that a moment before shrugging and chewing. ¡°I guess you have a point.¡±


    ¡°I know I do.¡± I swallowed and poured more mints into my mouth. ¡°Now tell me what¡¯s bugging you?¡±


    Her gaze zipped to mine. ¡°Why do you think something¡¯s bugging me?¡±


    I motioned to my own bangs. ¡°You¡¯re doing the hair thing.¡±


    ¡°Hair thing?¡± She shook her head, letting me know she had no clue what I was talking about.


    ¡°Yeah, you know.¡± I motioned with my hand again. ¡°You always do that thing with your hair when something¡¯s bothering you.¡±


    Blinking, she leaned in toward me. ¡°I do¡­what?¡±


    ¡°Never mind. Just tell me whose ass I have to kick.¡±


    ¡°You¡­¡± She set her hand over her mouth and just kind of stared at me with awe. Then she cleared her throat and dropped her hand as she shook her head. ¡°No one¡¯s ass needs kicking. I was just checking to see if my grade was posted for my filmography final yet.¡± She looked down at it again and pushed refresh on her screen. ¡°You know the one I was telling you about? Where we had to do a group project and turn in a small skit. Since my group named me freaking director, I basically had to take responsibility for making sure everything got done?¡±


    Hell, yes I remembered her telling me about it. It was the reason she hadn¡¯t been able to come over at night more times than I liked. I nodded and motioned her to continue talking.


    She blew out a breath. ¡°Well, I turned it in yesterday.¡± With a soft growl, she went on. ¡°And I¡¯m worried as hell about our score. I still want to kill Blaze for flaking out on me. I ended up having to write the entire script because she was pissed at me for calling her a loser.¡±


    I held up a hand. ¡°Wait. Did you say Blaze? Is she an Alpha Delta Pi sorority girl? Really named Jan, or something like that, but calls herself¡ª¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± Caroline groaned out her answer with a roll of her eyes. ¡°Do you know her?¡±


    I bit the inside of my lip, refraining from letting it slip how well I¡¯d once known Blaze. With a shrug, I mumbled, ¡°You called it right. She¡¯s kind of a bitch.¡±


    ¡°Kind of,¡± she muttered as if that was an understatement. ¡°She told me I should cheat on Zoey with Quinn¡­right in front of Zoey¡¯s face.¡±


    Oren snorted and rolled his eyes. ¡°Sounds about right.¡±


    ¡°Anyway,¡± Caroline went on. ¡°The entire project has been a nightmare. Not only did Blaze ditch out on us, but then Tad didn¡¯t get his sound effects in to me until Saturday, so I had to freaking rush to get the entire thing produced, and¡­¡±


    When she looked down at her phone again, I set my hand on her wrist, stopping her. ¡°You got an A.¡±


    She blinked and crinkled her brow. ¡°And you know this because¡­?¡±


    ¡°Because I know how much time and effort you put into it. No way could you get something lower, and it¡¯s going to take forever for your grade to post, so I decided to just tell you what¡¯ll it be. There. Now you don¡¯t have to wait and stew.¡±


    With a reluctant grin, she bumped her shoulder into mine. ¡°Well, look who¡¯s being all sweet and making me feel better.¡±


    I motioned with my finger to quiet her. ¡°Just keep all that sweet shit quiet. I have an asshole reputation to uphold.¡±


    ¡°Oh, right.¡± She winked and set her finger over her lips. Her lips, which looked really good. I was probably about to do something like lean in and kiss the fuck out of those luscious lips when my phone rang.

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    With an irritated growl, I pulled it from my pocket. My parents had been trying to call all morning. I¡¯d probably been avoiding them for too long, so I answered.


    ¡°Hey.¡±


    My mother¡¯s request was short and simple, and no way could I deny her, so I mumbled out a couple okay¡¯s, sure¡¯s, and yeah¡¯s before I said, ¡°See you then. ¡¯Kay. Bye.¡±


    My change in mood must¡¯ve been obvious because Caroline touched my arm, making me jump from the unexpected contact. ¡°Hey. Everything okay?¡±


    ¡°Hmm.¡± I tried to send her a smile that said everything was just peachy, but as I looked into her concerned blue eyes, an idea struck.


    ¡°Yes!¡± I pointed. ¡°You. I need you. Tonight. Do you think you could be my fake girlfriend for the evening?¡±


    She blinked, the pause in her answer making me instantly itchy. ¡°Your what girlfriend?¡± she said slowly.


    With a sigh, I worked my neck around to pop it. ¡°That was my mom. I¡¯ve been summoned home to eat with them tonight to, you know, celebrate my graduation this weekend, or something. I really, really don¡¯t want the usual fucking talk. So I thought if I had you by my side, they¡¯d not hound me about...other crap and just be excited I brought a real, live girl to supper.¡±


    Her lips tightened with displeasure. ¡°Do you have a habit of bringing the blow-up kind to supper?¡±


    ¡°Caroline.¡± I groaned through my teeth. ¡°This is serious. Do you think you can not be a smart-ass for three freaking seconds and say, why yes, Oren, I¡¯d love to go with you?¡±


    Instead, she said, ¡°Are you sleeping with other girls?¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I shook my head, utterly confused. ¡°What in all the shit I just said prompted you to ask that?¡±


    ¡°You said you wanted me to be your fake girlfriend.¡±


    ¡°Yeah?¡± I nodded, still clueless. ¡°So?¡±


    ¡°So...¡± She frowned at me. ¡°If I¡¯m not a real girlfriend now, then what the hell am I to you?¡±


    My mouth opened, but no words came.


    Oh, shit. I hadn¡¯t even thought of labels and crap like that. ¡°Uhhh...¡± I said, not sure how to answer.


    Wrong fucking thing to say.


    Caroline stuffed her phone into her bag. Zipping it shut, she surged to her feet. ¡°You know that thing I just said about you being sweet? I take it all back.¡±


    If I didn¡¯t stop her, she was going to stomp off, and that would be the end of any more midnight visits for me.


    ¡°Wait.¡± I popped to my feet after her. ¡°Jesus, I haven¡¯t even thought about this shit. I¡¯ve just been so busy enjoying what we have, I haven¡¯t exactly stopped to pin a label on it.¡±


    She paused, her eyes intent as she studied me. ¡°Do labels scare you?¡±


    Hell, yes!


    I snorted. ¡°Hell, no. I just...¡± I tossed out a hand. ¡°I haven¡¯t had a true, honest girlfriend in over four years. I...I¡¯m rusty at, you know, monogamy and commitment and shit.¡±


    She folded her arms over her chest and continued to stare with that stare of hers, the one that told me I was in deep monkey squirts.


    I fidgeted under her inspection. After shifting my weight from one leg to the other, I glanced around the busy quad. ¡°Should we really be discussing this so openly...around so many ears?¡±


    Shaking her head sadly, she snorted out her disgust and started to stride away.


    I was right on her heels. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, okay. Please, Caroline. You know I¡¯m an ass.¡±


    She smiled lightly. ¡°And yet, shame on me, I keep putting up with it.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s no one else but you. You know that. I don¡¯t know what I was thinking saying all that fake bullshit. I¡¯ve been single so long it¡¯s hard to remember I¡¯m really, honestly in a relationship now. And besides, since we have to keep it under wraps and I have to act like I¡¯m single around certain people, I didn¡¯t know if the usual rules applied, anyway.¡±


    She slowed to a stop before turning around, her eyes filled with torment. ¡°Does the secrecy thing negate any chance of this being a normal relationship?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± I shrugged, worried as hell I was going to say the wrong thing, again. ¡°You tell me.¡±


    ¡°No, obviously, you have your own ideas of what we aren¡¯t. So now I need some clarification. Are we just friends with benefits, or are we actually a couple? Have you not been with any other girls because you just haven¡¯t had the opportunity, or because you¡¯re actually being faithful to me? Because I need to know before I start thinking things.¡±

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    Thinking things? That didn¡¯t sound good.


    ¡°What kind of things?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, Oren. Things! A future, love, marriage, forever. Just things!¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± Okay, that answer left me speechless and a little breathless. But shit, had she really been thinking about those things? With me? I¡¯d been over here just living for each day. After our nonverbal agreement to stick together when she¡¯d asked about birth control, I hadn¡¯t thought any further than the next time I¡¯d get to see her and how to keep it low key.


    ¡°I take that to mean you haven¡¯t been thinking any such things.¡± Her voice was dry and unimpressed.


    She tried to turn away again, but I caught her arm and moved closer. ¡°Damn it, Care. Just because I haven¡¯t been thinking that far ahead doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯m scared of those things. I¡¯m just...¡±


    When I realized I didn¡¯t know what I was, she lifted an eyebrow and guessed, ¡°Scared of those things?¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I clenched my teeth. ¡°Christ, woman. Maybe I¡¯m not even letting myself think that far ahead because I¡¯m just waiting for that inevitable day when you realize you can do so much better and drop me flat. I¡¯m not scared of those things. I¡¯m scared of wanting them and then not getting them, so I don¡¯t even allow myself to think about them.¡±


    She stepped closer, her blue eyes suddenly full of sympathy. ¡°Why do you think I¡¯m going to leave you?¡±


    I threw my hands in the air. ¡°Probably because I¡¯m me, the asshole. Why else? Do I need another reason?¡±


    ¡°Oh, Oren. You stupid, stupid man. Don¡¯t you realize how addicted I am to you?¡±


    I shook my head and laughed nervously. ¡°People break free of nasty addictions every day.¡±


    She stepped in closer to me, the look in her eyes telling me how much she wanted my mouth on hers. ¡°Well, I¡¯m not going to. This is one addiction I like.¡±


    God damn, I loved her addiction. And I loved being addicted to her right back.


    ¡°Are you going to kiss me right now?¡± I asked, lifting my eyebrow curiously. I was actually fine with it if she wanted to. If she wanted to come clean and let the world know about us, I could definitely deal with that.


    I stepped in toward her, welcoming any kind of PDA she wanted to toss my way, but the move seemed to awaken her to reality.


    Realizing we were in public, she quickly jerked back. ¡°Crap. I forgot.¡±


    A smile bloomed across my face, even though inside, I was strangely disappointed. ¡°Figured. I tend to have that effect on you.¡±


    She shook her head, her lips tightened from how hard she was trying not to smile back at me. Then she blew out an exhausted breath. ¡°So, where do we go from here?¡±


    ¡°How about this?¡± I said. ¡°My parents requested my presence tonight at this restaurant back home. I know we can¡¯t tell your brother about us, but I¡¯d very much like to introduce you to my mom and dad. What do you say?¡±


    ¡°How are you going to introduce me?¡±


    ¡°As Caroline.¡±


    She rolled her eyes, but a reluctant smile curved up her lips. ¡°Okay. No label. I can deal with that. At least I have a sense of where I fall with you now.¡±


    No, she didn¡¯t. She probably wasn¡¯t even close. In fact, I doubted she¡¯d ever realize exactly where she fell with me or how crazy gone I was for her.


    We arrived at the restaurant right on time where the Tennings were waiting to meet us for dinner. After Oren parked and killed the engine, he drew in a deep breath and glanced across the seat toward me. Then he shuddered. ¡°Damn, you look good in that. Are you sure we don¡¯t have time for¡ª¡±


    I slapped my hand over his mouth to shut him up. Then I grabbed his other hand when it started to creep up my thigh and under the skirt of my dress. ¡°I¡¯m going to ignore the fact you just asked me to have sex with you right before meeting your parents, and I¡¯m giving you one chance to behave.¡±


    Grinning, he slipped my hand off his mouth. ¡°And how the hell do you expect me to behave when you look so fucking edible? And smell so fucking amazing?¡±


    I had to bite back a smile because, okay, I loved how he hadn¡¯t been able to keep his eyes off me, except maybe to watch where he was driving every once in a while, since he¡¯d picked me up. It was nice to know all my efforts to clean up nice had paid off. I hadn¡¯t dressed up since...yeah, I didn¡¯t want to think about anything that had to do with Sander Scotini right now.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t wear this for you.¡± I smacked his hand when he resisted my efforts to keep him from going any higher on my leg. ¡°I¡¯m trying to impress your parents. I want to look...presentable.¡±

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    His fingers paused on my thigh; his skin was so warm it almost scorched me. Eyes losing their teasing glint, he shook his head. ¡°Presentable?¡± he murmured as if the word were foreign to him. ¡°Jesus, Caroline. You didn¡¯t have to worry about that. It doesn¡¯t matter what you look like. They¡¯re going to love you because of who you are.¡±


    I drew in a deep, shuddery breath. His words meant more than he could ever know. I was thrilled he had so much faith in me, but I still had no faith in myself. Now, I was even more nervous, because I kind of sort of really wanted them to love me. ¡°But¡ª¡±


    He caught my hand when I started to smooth my hair out of my face. ¡°No buts. Everything¡¯s going to be fine. They¡¯re easy to get along with, down to earth, laid-back people, so you have nothing to worry about. Okay?¡±


    I nodded, but my stomach continued to churn.


    ¡°I¡¯ll make you a promise.¡± When he leaned in to kiss my temple, I immediately glanced around to make sure no one had seen when it struck me...we didn¡¯t have to hide anything here, not when we were so far away from Ellamore. Whoa. We didn¡¯t have to hide here. ¡°If you stop worrying, I¡¯ll keep my hands respectable until after dinner with them. Deal?¡±


    ¡°Deal,¡± I said, though no way was I really going to stop worrying.


    It must¡¯ve been the right thing to say, though, because Oren beamed at me. ¡°Great. You ready, then?¡±


    Hell, no. But I nodded and sent him a tense smile. ¡°Sure.¡±


    An anxious fluttering instantly took root in my stomach as we climbed out of his truck and started up the front walk. But then Oren took my hand, and the fluttering instantly shot off fireworks through all my limbs. I glanced down at our linked fingers. His palm was so warm against mine. I felt strange, as if I was protected and cherished and desired, all due to one little squeeze from his fingers.


    He was honest to God about to introduce me to his parents...while holding my hand.


    Wow. This shit just got real.


    As if sensing my nerves, he glanced over. His gaze moved from my face, and down to our hands, then back up to my face. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Nothing,¡± I was quick to answer.


    So he frowned. He even slowed to a stop and turned to face me...without letting go of my fingers.


    ¡°This hand-holding thing is freaking you out, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± I blurted.


    He crinkled his eyebrows, calling bullshit with a single look.


    My shoulders collapsed. ¡°Damn it,¡± I muttered. He was getting too good at reading me. ¡°Okay. Maybe it is. A little.¡±


    Instead of letting go, his thumb started up, tracing the back of my hand as he tugged me closer. ¡°Why? What¡¯s wrong with holding my hand? It¡¯s perfectly respectable.¡±


    ¡°I know, but it¡¯s...I don¡¯t know!¡± I growled as I looked away from him, feeling like a freak. ¡°It¡¯s public,¡± I hissed and chanced a glare at him, silently warning him not to make fun of me.


    ¡°Public?¡± he repeated slowly.


    ¡°Sander would never hold my hand.¡±


    ¡°Sander,¡± he hissed, his eyes narrowing as his grip tightened around mine even snugger. ¡°The fucker who made you his dirty little secret? That jackass probably didn¡¯t even talk to you in public.¡±


    ¡°No,¡± I murmured dejectedly, realizing he was right. ¡°He never did. Only when no one else was around.¡± And the one time he promised to take me into public, he lied.


    I wished I¡¯d realized that before I¡¯d fallen for his ploy and let him destroy such a fragile part of me.


    ¡°My point is...¡± I lifted my free hand and blindly waved it around before dropping it limply like the stupid idiot I was. ¡°People don¡¯t go holding hands when it¡¯s just the two of them. They do it in public, as a sign to the world that they belong together, that¡ª¡±


    ¡°Okay, wait.¡± He butted in, stopping me right there. ¡°First of all, it¡¯s not just something couples do in public. I don¡¯t know how many fucking times I¡¯ve caught my parents holding hands over the years when they thought no one else was around.¡±


    ¡°Aww.¡± A soft sentiment flooded me. ¡°That¡¯s so sweet.¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Whatever.¡± He rolled his eyes, because anything sweet and romantic that involved his mom and dad probably fell closer to an ick factor for him. ¡°The point is, it¡¯s not public. And it¡¯s not some symbol to show others any such fucking thing. It¡¯s just two people who want to touch and feel closer to each other. Nothing more.¡±

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    The emotion that had swamped me seconds ago returned, swirling through me with a heap of messy, emotional sop. I stepped up close to him and filled my nose with his scent, making my head dizzy with lust. ¡°So, you want to be touching me when I meet your parents?¡±


    His nostrils flared in return, and a tingling spread up my thighs. ¡°I always want to touch you,¡± he murmured in a voice that made my nipples throb. My fingers from my free hand fluttered up and over his cheek. His eyes drifted closed before he sighed. ¡°And right now, I¡¯d be totally fine with sticking my tongue down your throat while you met them.¡±


    I jerked my hand from his face and cleared my throat with a nervous laugh. ¡°Well, I don¡¯t think I¡¯m quite ready for that. But...I will settle for holding your hand.¡±


    ¡°Thank God. Because I wasn¡¯t going to let go of it anyway.¡±


    I snorted even as a grin seeped out. He reached ahead of us to push open the front door of the restaurant and then held it for me to enter first. I wondered if being this close to his mother made him act so gallant, but the etiquette had me all giddy inside, nevertheless. I liked sweet, polite Oren as much as I liked naughty, playful Oren.


    The hostess approached, but Oren waved her off, telling her he¡¯d already spotted his parents.


    ¡°Where?¡± I murmured into his ear as we walked deeper into the restaurant.


    ¡°Right there.¡± When he pointed them out to me, I held my breath and glanced over.


    They looked like...well, like parents. I was shocked at how normal and average and parent-ly they appeared. His mother was on the plumper side with short gray hair coiled into soft curls. And his dad looked just like him...with shorter, salt and pepper locks.


    I leaned up and whispered into Oren¡¯s ear. ¡°Please tell me you¡¯re going to look just like your dad in twenty years, because...wow.¡±


    He cranked his head around to send me an incredulous glance. ¡°What the hell? You¡¯re checking out my dad?¡±


    ¡°What?¡± My face flushed hot, and I had to glare at him for speaking so loudly. ¡°He looks like you...like the silver fox version of you. I mean, come on. Meow.¡±


    ¡°Holy shit.¡± He veered his gaze to the ceiling as if perplexed as to why he was having this conversation with me. ¡°I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m dating a girl who thinks my dad is hot.¡±


    I laughed, but then we moved even closer to his parents, and my smile died. Just like that. Because the nerves had set in.


    I had no experience with real, live parents who actually cared about their child and wanted to be involved in his life. I instantly grew unsure and paranoid. They were going to take one look at me, see how dysfunctional of a family I¡¯d come from, how dysfunctional I was, and they were going to send me away from their son forever.


    What had I been thinking to meet his parents? Stupid Caroline.


    They glanced our way, and his mom¡¯s mouth fell open when she spotted me holding her son¡¯s hand. And yep, my insecurities rose even higher.


    ¡°Oh God, Oren.¡± I clamped my fingers around his hard. ¡°You didn¡¯t tell them I was coming with you, did you?¡±


    He leaned toward my ear, smirking. ¡°I thrive on shock value.¡±


    I leaned up to hiss, ¡°Well, I hope you also thrive on death, because I¡¯m going to kill you for this.¡±


    He pinched my ass. I jumped, unable to hold in a startled yelp. When I glared up at him, he threw his head back and laughed outright, his voice decibels above everything else in the restaurant. And crap, people were staring.


    Oh God, take me now.


    His mother and father stood. ¡°Well,¡± His mother murmured, her eyes glittering with glee. ¡°I was beginning to wonder who was walking toward us with this pretty young lady at his side because it couldn¡¯t possibly be our son bringing a girl to dinner, but that familiar laugh tells me I¡¯m wrong. You really are our Oren...with a friend.¡±


    ¡°Hey, Ma.¡± He swept in with a huge hug and lifted her off her feet, making her squeal and slap his arm to get him to drop her back to the ground.


    Then he turned to the Silver Fox version of himself. ¡°Dad.¡± He held out his hand. ¡°This is Caroline. She thinks you¡¯re hot.¡±


    The floor opened up and I fell through to an alternate universe where I suddenly couldn¡¯t hear or move; I could only feel this mortified numbness freeze me into place.


    ¡°Oren,¡± his mother scolded, reprimanding him with another tap on the arm. ¡°Stop embarrassing the poor girl. Sorry about him, dear,¡± she said, her voice winded, as she brushed back her hair that had fluttered out of place when Oren hugged her. But a smile had lit her eyes. She loved her son very much, even when he was inappropriate. ¡°He¡¯s always been that way. And trying to shut him up only seems to encourage him to continue. I¡¯m Brenda, by the way.¡± She held out a hand to me. ¡°Oren said you¡¯re Caroline, right?¡±

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    It was bizarre to hear someone else actually call him Oren. But I cleared my throat and nodded. ¡°Right.¡± My voice was stiff. My shoulders were stiff. My freaking panties felt stiff. I was afraid to breathe wrong in fear of saying or doing the wrong thing and just...shattering all the stiff parts.


    It didn¡¯t even matter how gracious and polite his mother was being. I still wanted to sink through the floor in embarrassment. ¡°Oh, what a lovely name. It¡¯s so nice to meet you.¡± Her eyes sparkled as she beamed up at Oren. ¡°Well done, son.¡±


    He snorted. ¡°As if I had anything to do with catching her. She caught me.¡±


    I wanted to elbow him in the side and tell him to shut it, but I settled for a warning glance.


    The bastard merely winked at me.


    ¡°And I¡¯m Phil,¡± his dad spoke up, also reaching out a hand to shake with me. ¡°I think you¡¯re hot too.¡±


    My fingers froze in his while Oren choked on air next to me. ¡°Jesus, Dad.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Phil dropped his palm from mine to lift his eyebrows Oren¡¯s way. ¡°It¡¯s that slang for pretty that you youngsters use these days.¡±


    ¡°Oh my God.¡± Oren groaned and held up a hand. ¡°Promise me you¡¯ll never use that slang term again.¡±


    ¡°You got it,¡± his dad assured before he slipped me a sly little grin, telling me he was just messing with Oren. Then he turned to his wife, murmuring loud enough for us to hear, ¡°I guess we shouldn¡¯t let him hear what kinds of slang we use in the bedroom then.¡±


    As Oren cried out and slapped his hands over his ears, claiming, ¡°I¡¯m deaf. You guys have just killed my poor, innocent ears,¡± I burst out laughing. He sent me a scowl. ¡°It¡¯s not funny, damn it.¡±


    ¡°Oren. Language,¡± his mother scolded. ¡°We¡¯re in public.¡±


    I lifted my eyebrows, wondering what she¡¯d say if she heard his potty mouth while he was in Ellamore. The boy didn¡¯t know a clean word.


    ¡°Let¡¯s sit already,¡± his dad suggested, his grin still a little smug.


    As Oren dropped into a chair and slid his hands from his ears, he glanced over at me when I sat quietly beside him, my spine still stiff with nerves.


    ¡°So, Caroline...¡± his mother started. I gulped, tore my gaze away from Oren, and sent her an uneasy smile.


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    And so started the inquisition. Except it didn¡¯t feel as if I was being drilled for information. It felt as if they were genuinely curious and wanted to know about me. That was strange at first, explaining my major to a parent. But Brenda, and even Phil, were actually interested in the field of study I¡¯d chosen. I got a little carried away and just started blurting out all kinds of things I wanted to do.


    ¡°I think sound effects are what really make a movie.¡±


    ¡°Of course they are.¡± Brenda nodded enthusiastically as she leaned my way and pressed a hand to her heart. ¡°I love it when the music gets so loud it just thunders through your chest right before the hero proclaims his love to the¡ª¡±


    ¡°Oh, gag me.¡± Oren groaned and sank lower in his chair. ¡°I swear, Mom, if you get started about The Last of the Mohicans again¡ª¡±


    ¡°Oh my God, I love that movie.¡± I sat up straighter. ¡°That rasp in Daniel Day-Lewis¡¯s voice when he told Madeleine Stowe he would find her...I mean, melt my panties.¡±


    While Brenda pointed at me with wide eyes and said, ¡°Exactly,¡± both men started laughing. She scowled at her son. ¡°What is so funny? You were probably conceived because of that movie.¡±


    He instantly stopped laughing and starting coughing. ¡°Shit, Ma. I did not need to know that.¡±


    Still chuckling, Phil slapped him on the back to help him get his air back. ¡°I just thought it was hilarious how she said melt my panties.¡±


    ¡°Oh, fuck,¡± I gasped, realizing, ¡°I did.¡± Then I slapped a hand over my mouth, realizing I¡¯d just said fuck. ¡°I mean, crap.¡± Wait, was crap bad too? ¡°I mean...¡±


    I glanced wildly at Oren for help, but he still looked traumatized from learning so much about his conception.


    Brenda patted my arm compassionately. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it, dear. We all slip every once in a while.¡±


    Oren made a sound as if to disagree with her, because I ¡°slipped¡± almost as much as he did. Both his mother and I sent him a scowl.


    Phil was still hooting out his amusement and wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. ¡°Boy howdy, am I glad Oren brought you tonight, Caroline. This has been the most enjoyable family dinner since¡ª¡±

 Page 84

    He gasped when Brenda reached for her glass of iced tea and accidentally spilled it in his lap.


    As he jumped to his feet, slapping the ice cubes off him, his wife followed him up with a handful of napkins, immediately pressing it against his crotch.


    ¡°Brenda!¡± Phil grasped her wrist and glanced around as if scandalized. ¡°Not in public.¡±


    ¡°Oh, dear Lord.¡± Brenda sighed and glanced at me. ¡°Excuse us for a minute,¡± she told me. Taking Phil¡¯s arm, she led him away toward the bathrooms.


    I stared after them in wonder. Phil reminded me so much of Oren in some ways. And Brenda...she was just awesome.


    As soon as they were out of sight, I slapped Oren in the arm. Hard.


    ¡°You asshole,¡± I hissed. ¡°Your parents are amazing.¡±


    He glanced at me with a confused frown. ¡°Well, yeah. I never said they weren¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°But...you made it sound like it was such a hardship to see them again, as if they were terrible, but they¡¯re...they¡¯re really amazing. They love you and care about you and want to know what¡¯s happening in your life. How can you not appreciate any of that? I mean, if I¡¯d had just one parent who was even half as interested in me as both of yours are in you, I¡¯d¡ª¡±


    My voice cracked, so I settled for glaring at him. He had no idea how great he had it in the family department. I mean, I appreciated everything Noel had gone through to bring us to Ellamore and save us from the life we¡¯d been living. And I never would¡¯ve made it as far as I had without Colton and Brandt around to suffer through with me, but...I still wished I¡¯d had a mom who¡¯d given a shit. Or even known who my father was.


    But no, I had nothing, while Oren had everything; and he was complaining about it.


    Spoiled bastard.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t say they were bad parents. They¡¯re not, not at all. And they¡¯re supportive. Maybe too supportive. But they¡¯re just¡ª¡±


    He broke off when he saw them returning.


    I glanced over too, prepared to ask if everything was better. But something had changed in the time since Brenda and Phil had left the table to dry Phil. They looked stoic, almost sympathetic.


    ¡°Shit,¡± Oren muttered beside me. ¡°Here it comes.¡±


    I glanced at him, but he was too busy scowling at his parents.


    They stopped in front of our table, but instead of sitting, they remained standing, obviously ready to make some kind of big united-front announcement.


    Oren tensed beside me, so I slid my hand under the table until it found his. He had balled his fingers into a tight fist, but he opened them for me so he could squeeze his around mine.


    ¡°Oren,¡± his mother started. ¡°I understand how much you don¡¯t like talking about her, but we thought you should know... Your father and I petitioned the town to set up a memorial for Zoey in the city park, and they¡¯ve agreed. We want you to come to the grand opening next weekend.¡±


    I have no idea why hearing my parents talk about her always made me physically ill. But my stomach revolted, bile rose in my throat, and my vision went wonky.


    ¡°Really?¡± Surging to my feet, I glared across the table. ¡°You¡¯re going to bring this shit up in front of my new girlfriend?¡± And I¡¯d been so sure Caroline would be the perfect buffer to keep family drama out of the conversation.


    Mom glanced at Caroline, her eyes wide with alarm before she turned back to me. ¡°This shit is your sister¡¯s legacy. Don¡¯t you want to honor her?¡±


    The swirling in my gut turned into little needles of agony. I doubled slightly, setting my hands on my hips in an attempt to hide how much I hurt. ¡°I don¡¯t even want to think about it,¡± I hissed.


    Mom sighed out a sad breath as Dad grasped her hand. I hated distressing them, but fuck, why did they always have to force this on me?


    ¡°Sweetheart, this is not healthy. Pretending she never existed isn¡¯t going to stop it from hurting.¡±


    Yeah, well, I had to disagree. It¡¯d worked pretty damn well for me for the past four years.


    When my dad tried to say something next, I held up a hand and snapped, ¡°Don¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°We think you need help.¡± Mom rushed out the words, making me jerk in shock.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Our biggest fear was that you¡¯d never be able to move on from what happened. And for a while, we thought you had. But clearly, you¡¯re just repressing it. You haven¡¯t even attempted the stages of grief to work through this, and it¡¯s going to end up coming back and biting you someday when you least expect it.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± I exploded. ¡°Please excuse me if I don¡¯t want to spend the rest of my life purposely being all depressed over...over someone who¡¯s never coming back.¡±

 Page 85

    Dad shook his head. ¡°You still can¡¯t even say her name out loud, can you?¡±


    I shot Caroline a sharp warning glance, telling her to keep her trap shut. Her eyes were wide as she took in my dysfunctional family scene. Fuck, she was going to have so many questions after this. What had I been thinking to bring her along?


    ¡°Mrs. Tenning,¡± she said, turning to my mom. ¡°I don¡¯t know if this helps ease your mind any, but Oren¡¯s been visiting a therapist.¡±


    Say what? I shot her a startled glance, but she didn¡¯t even look my way. Focusing on my parents, she clasped her hands to her chest with a genuine show of compassion. ¡°I mean, I know it hasn¡¯t done much for him yet, but he¡¯s actually gone to a few sessions, which should mean something, right? He¡¯s admitted he needs help. Isn¡¯t that what they say is half the battle?¡±


    My mother¡¯s eyes glistened with tears as she turned to me. ¡°Are you really? Oh, Oren. That¡¯s amazing. I¡¯m so proud of you.¡±


    As she hugged me, I met Caroline¡¯s gaze, widening my gaze to silently ask what the fuck she thought she was doing.


    ¡°Thanks,¡± I muttered to my mom as I pushed out of her warm embrace that I actually kind of missed feeling. ¡°It¡¯s my fault she¡¯s dead, but you¡¯re so proud of me. That makes everything so much fucking better.¡±


    Unable to handle a second more of this shit, I spun away from them and marched off. My head raced in a million different directions as I stormed blindly from the restaurant. I automatically started for my truck, but visions of my sister¡¯s bloody face covered in glass as she lay slumped against a steering wheel had me stopping in my tracks. Her scream as she shouted for me to help her echoed through my head.


    I was in no shape to drive, so I pivoted right and started down the quiet sidewalk, dodging out of the way of the overhead street lamps so I could keep to the shadows.


    I didn¡¯t get very far before a breathless Caroline caught up with me, jogging to reach my side. She panted as she tried to keep pace. ¡°You weren¡¯t planning on deserting me here, were you? With your parents...whom I just met.¡±


    I sent her a quick, hard glare. ¡°You want to come with me, you better keep up.¡±


    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t think I can¡¯t.¡± She had to half jog, but she managed to keep up, and she didn¡¯t complain.


    In fact, the infuriating woman stayed absolutely, blessedly silent...which only pissed me off more. Why wasn¡¯t she yelling at me, telling me off for how rude I¡¯d been to my ¡°amazing¡± parents, demanding to know what that had been about back there? I was in the mood to fight, but how the hell was I was supposed to pick a fight with such a supportive, amazing girlfriend?


    ¡°Damn it!¡± I kicked a post office mailbox we passed in an attempt to vent. ¡°How dare they fucking forgive me so easily?¡±


    Caroline didn¡¯t answer. All she did was tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, telling me how nervous she was. I clenched my teeth, instantly contrite for putting her into such a situation.


    Glancing at her, I said, ¡°I can¡¯t believe you fucking lied for me. Therapy?¡±


    I snorted. Me in therapy? What the fuck ever.


    ¡°What?¡± She sent me a rueful smile and a shrug. ¡°I¡¯m Daisy Gamble¡¯s daughter. I know all about lying.¡±


    I shook my head and finally let a smile slip free. The woman did have a fiercely conniving side, but so far, she¡¯d always used it to my benefit, from sneaking into my room to rock my fucking world to getting my parents off my back. Frankly, I could kiss the shit out of her for the way she lied.


    Glancing around the dead street of my small hometown, she asked, ¡°Where are we going, anyway?¡±


    I shook my head, unable to keep my temper intact. Just being around her mellowed whatever anger I wanted to feel. Damn woman had a bad habit of making me too happy whenever she was around.


    ¡°I need to go to my place.¡± I sent her a scowl in a last-ditch effort to hang on to my anger, but fuck, she looked really pretty with her cheeks flushed from the effort it took to keep up with me. ¡°And since you¡¯re all about being my shadow, I guess you¡¯re coming with me.¡±


    Strangely, I actually wanted to show her my place I used to go to be alone when I was a kid. I¡¯d never taken anyone there before, hence the alone part. Not even my sister. But it somehow felt right to take Caroline.


    ¡°You have a place?¡± Sending me a sidelong glance, she started to smile. ¡°That¡¯s so neat.¡±


    I snorted. ¡°Of course I have a place. Everyone has a place.¡±


    But she shook her head. ¡°I don¡¯t have a place.¡±

 Page 86

    ¡°Oh, whatever. I¡¯m not buying it. There¡¯s got to be somewhere you go just to be alone, unwind, get your head out of your ass?¡±


    ¡°Not where I grew up. I mean, back at the trailer house, I used to camp out in my bedroom sometimes, but I had to share it with Colton and Brandt, so...it wasn¡¯t really just mine.¡± As we passed an old, run-down theater, she gasped and glanced up at the opening where the ticket box had been boarded over. ¡°Oh, man. This place is so awesome. It¡¯s a shame it¡¯s not still open.¡±


    With a smirk, I took her hand. ¡°I had a feeling you¡¯d get a kick out of it. Come on.¡±


    When I veered us down a dark alley next to the theater, she moved closer to me, touching my back as she blindly followed.


    ¡°So, your place is an alley?¡± The wariness in her voice told me she wasn¡¯t impressed. ¡°That¡¯s kind of creepy.¡±


    I paused next to a rusty fire escape ladder. ¡°No, smartass. My place is on the roof of the theater.¡± Turning to pin her to the wall next to the ladder, I leaned in close. ¡°See, I¡¯ve always had a fetish for wanting to be on top of movie lovers.¡±


    With a snort, she threw her head back and laughed. ¡°Oh God. I can¡¯t believe you. You¡¯re supposed to be having a personal meltdown here, and yet you¡¯re still cracking crude puns?¡±


    ¡°Admit it,¡± I murmured, leaning into her until I could smell her hair. ¡°That¡¯s exactly what you like best about me.¡±


    ¡°Hmm.¡± Her murmur of interest raced through my bloodstream and had my cock hardening. ¡°There is something naughty and sexy about it,¡± she finally admitted.


    ¡°Oh, yeah?¡± I dipped my face down to hers until our mouths aligned. But I didn¡¯t kiss her. ¡°If I didn¡¯t know any better, Miss Gamble, I¡¯d say you¡¯re trying to seduce me right now.¡±


    She touched my nose with a quick tap. ¡°You almost quoted The Graduate right there.¡±


    ¡°Did I?¡± I pressed my hips against hers so she could feel how hard I was. ¡°I bet there isn¡¯t a quote good enough for what I want to do with you right now, though.¡±


    While her gaze screamed fuck me, and the sensual curving of her lips seemed to second that sentiment, she whispered into my ear. ¡°Take me...¡± I started to groan in delight, but then she finished with, ¡°...to see your place, Oren.¡±


    I shifted in closer to her, my mouth only centimeters from hers. ¡°Then you¡¯d better start climbing, woman. Before I take you against this wall.¡±


    Her gaze drifted to the ladder next to us before her eyes grew wide. ¡°Wha...? No. Oh, no. You don¡¯t actually expect me to climb that rickety old thing, do you?¡±


    With a cluck of my tongue, I grasped her waist and lifted her up, so she could reach the bottom rung. ¡°Yep, I absolutely do. Now get going, woman.¡±


    ¡°Oren¡ª¡± She clambered and cursed before finally catching a good handhold. As she lifted herself up, she whimpered. ¡°Oh God. I¡¯m going to die.¡±


    ¡°Just...climb,¡± I murmured approvingly, enjoying the view. This was probably the second, maybe third, time I¡¯d ever seen her in a dress, and I was getting to see it from below. Damn, I was a lucky son of a bitch. And bullshit she¡¯d dressed that way for my parents. No way had she put on that lacy black thong to impress my mom.


    She climbed well in heels, which impressed the fuck out of me. When I started up after her, though, the ladder swayed from our combined weight. She froze, squeaking out her fear and clutching the rungs for dear life until she grew used to the movement.


    When she once again started a slow ascent, she glanced down to ask, ¡°Is it illegal to climb up here?¡±


    I shrugged and sent her a grin, wondering how quickly I could get her out of that thong. ¡°More than likely.¡±


    She faced forward again. ¡°Oh God. What do we do if we get caught?¡±


    ¡°I imagine we go to jail.¡±


    She paused. ¡°Oren!¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I nudged her in the ankle to keep her moving. ¡°Why are you so worried? I¡¯m the guy; I¡¯ll be the one who¡¯ll more than likely get gang raped by Bubba and friends if we¡¯re tossed in the slammer.¡±


    ¡°Oh, you are just so funny.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I figured that was why you kept me around.¡±


    She snorted, but we¡¯d reached the roof of the old cinema, so I was happy. Caroline paused as soon as she shimmied herself off the ladder.


    ¡°What now?¡± I have no idea why she was suddenly whispering after we¡¯d just had a loud argument all the way up the side of the building, but I thought it was adorable.

 Page 87

    I hooked my arm around her waist and turned her in the direction I always went when I came up here by myself. ¡°This way.¡± Then I kissed her hair.


    After I sat down in the exact middle of the roof, I pulled her into my lap so she wouldn¡¯t have to sit on the grimy shingles and get a dirty ass. No reason to smear such perfection. Plus her lacy-wrapped tush felt really good against my junk.


    Once she was settled against me, I tightened my arms around her and kissed the side of her neck. ¡°Now lean back against me, look up at that sky, and just...enjoy,¡± I whispered into her ear.


    She followed my instructions only to let out a gasp of delight. ¡°Wow.¡±


    ¡°I know, right?¡± I looked up too, and the night seemed to swallow us whole, making me feel so insignificant and small in this moment and yet important and integral to the universe. The sensation was impossible to explain. It was one of those things you just had to feel.


    Caroline seemed to get it though. She tightened her grip on my forearm and inhaled a deep breath. ¡°The sky is so perfect from here. The stars look so close and yet so far away.¡±


    I nodded. Oh, yeah, she totally got it.


    We sat in silence for a good fifteen minutes, just letting the evening take us away to that place that felt peaceful and free.


    The only problem was we couldn¡¯t stay here forever. Caroline broke the lovely silence by saying, ¡°So...your sister¡¯s name was Zoey?¡±


    I blew out a breath and stretched out my legs under her before running my hands over her thighs. ¡°Yep.¡±


    She turned her face in toward me to kiss my jaw. ¡°And that¡¯s why you write her name all the time.¡±


    I scowled at the stars. ¡°I don¡¯t write it all the time.¡±


    Caroline laughed softly. ¡°I¡¯ve caught you doing it more than once.¡±


    I growled out a sound but tipped my face over to rub it alongside hers.


    She let out a cute hum as she caressed my scruff. ¡°You¡¯re really uncomfortable with this discussion; it¡¯s kind of adorable.¡±


    ¡°Thanks.¡± I curled my arm around her waist in an effort to feel comfortable with something...even if it was just her ass in my lap. ¡°I¡¯m glad one of us is amused.¡±


    ¡°I kind of thought you had a thing for her,¡± she admitted.


    I furrowed my brow. ¡°Who? Ham¡¯s woman? No. Well, kind of, I guess. I mean, I like Blondie. But not...not like that.¡±


    ¡°You like her as a brother,¡± she surmised.


    Every muscle in my body tightened at that word. I¡¯d already been a brother. That had ended badly. I didn¡¯t want to be a brother to any other poor, unsuspecting, innocent girl again.


    ¡°You know, it¡¯s okay if you have brotherly feelings for her,¡± Caroline murmured, stroking her fingers up into my hair. ¡°It¡¯s not going to take anything away from what you felt for the first Zoey. I have three brothers, and loving one doesn¡¯t keep me from loving the other two just as much.¡±


    I groaned. ¡°Jesus, you didn¡¯t lie to my parents at all, did you? I really am seeing a counselor. I just didn¡¯t realize you were the psychiatrist.¡±


    She murmured out a quiet laugh. ¡°And if you¡¯re an extra good boy for the rest of our hour session, Dr. Caroline might even be willing to give you a thorough physical once this is over.¡±


    ¡°Mmm.¡± I kissed her ear and slid my fingers from her waist to the inside of her thigh. ¡°Can we skip straight to that part?¡±


    Grasping my wrist, she moved my hand up to a more respectable place on her knee. ¡°Not until your hour¡¯s up, Mr. Tenning.¡±


    I bit her earlobe lightly. ¡°Fun hater.¡±


    She grinned and twisted to look up at me. But her expression just as quickly fell somber. ¡°Why¡¯d you say it was your fault she died?¡±


    With a groan, I closed my eyes. ¡°Because it was.¡±


    She frowned in confusion. ¡°So...you shot her? Stabbed her? Suffocated her with a pillow?¡± After a thoughtful pause, she nodded approvingly. ¡°I¡¯ve actually considered pillow suffocation for Brandt. Numerous times.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help it, I smiled. But then the memories flooded right back up and swallowed me. ¡°I let her drive,¡± I finally admitted, ¡°when I knew she was upset.¡±


    Caroline was quiet for a moment before she asked simply, ¡°And why did you do that?¡±


    A sigh eased from my lungs. I glanced back up at the stars and pulled the warm woman in my arms tighter against me, realizing what an honor it was to get to hold her like this. In a second, she could be stolen away from me, too...just like that.

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    Tucking my face into her hair and appreciating what I had right now, I said, ¡°Because she was upset. She loved driving, so I thought letting her take the wheel would make her feel better.¡±


    ¡°And did it...before the accident part, I mean?¡±


    I shrugged. ¡°Well, yeah. I guess. She was smiling and lecturing me when...¡± I broke off, remembering the headlights of the other car as they¡¯d blared in my face right before it ran a red light and T-boned us. A shudder wracked me. Memories swirled of Zoey screaming my name, the fear in her voice as she begged for help, the utter helplessness I¡¯d felt; it all haunted me.


    ¡°Why was she upset?¡± Caroline asked.


    I shook my head and snorted. ¡°Some stupid-ass guy. Thought she liked him, but then she went to a sleepover with her friends and found out one of her buddies was also hooking up with him. When she called me, crying, asking me to pick her up, I¡¯d just¡ª¡±


    Fuck, I couldn¡¯t tell Caroline about that. But she nudged me in the ribs with her pointer finger. ¡°You¡¯d just what?¡±


    I glanced at her warily. ¡°I guess I already told you about my first time, didn¡¯t I?¡±


    ¡°You mean the stupid girl who laughed at your beautiful penis?¡±


    Appreciating the way she described my birthmark, I grinned. ¡°Yeah. Her. Well, I was driving home from that when Zoey¡¯s distress call came in.¡±


    ¡°Wait.¡± Caroline held up a hand and twisted to look directly into my eyes. ¡°So the same traumatic night you lost your virginity and were ridiculed by that idiot, twat girl was also the night your sister¡ª¡±


    Setting my hand over her mouth to keep her from saying what I couldn¡¯t handle hearing, I nodded. ¡°Yeah.¡±


    Her eyes flared. ¡°Wow. No wonder why you¡¯ve had such an issue with your penis. It¡¯s tied to your sister.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help it, I snorted out a laugh. ¡°Fuck, you have no idea how wrong that sounded when you said it that way.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± she asked before she must¡¯ve mentally repeated what she¡¯d just said. Then she snickered and bumped herself back against me. ¡°Whatever. You know what I meant.¡±


    I nodded. ¡°Yeah, but it still sounds fucking strange.¡±


    Caroline finally chuckled along with me before she cocked her head to the side. ¡°So, was Zoey younger or older than you? I can¡¯t tell from the way you talk about her.¡±


    I cleared my throat. ¡°She was...she was the same age. The same exact age.¡±


    Mouth falling open, Caroline gaped. ¡°You were twins? Holy shit.¡±


    I nodded and closed my eyes. But the memories still attacked me. Every single detail of my childhood had involved my sister. She¡¯d always been right there with me, almost an extension of myself until, wham, she was just...gone.


    ¡°Well, fuck.¡± Caroline rested her cheek on my shoulder. ¡°No wonder you¡¯re so messed up. I mean, losing a sibling has to be rough. It¡¯s got to hurt like hell and make you feel as if you failed them somehow. But a twin? That¡¯d be like losing...a part of yourself.¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± In need of a distraction, I ran my fingers through her hair. ¡°It pretty much gutted me. And I swore to myself I¡¯d never hurt like that again. I¡¯d never...fuck, I¡¯d never love like that again. I don¡¯t care that it was just sibling love, it still¡ª¡±


    ¡°No, I totally get it. Any kind of love¡ªsibling, paternal, passionate, platonic¡ªit still hurts just as painfully when you lose that person.¡±


    I nodded. ¡°It really does. And I was keeping my promise so well for three years. I didn¡¯t let any chick in, not until you came along. And then Blondie showed up. Jesus, you guys know how to fuck my head up, you know that?¡±


    Her fingers stroked my face again. ¡°I¡¯d say sorry,¡± she murmured, her lips tipped up in pleasure. ¡°But then I¡¯d be lying.¡±


    I sniffed. Of course, she wasn¡¯t sorry. She¡¯d gotten exactly what she wanted from this. I gazed at her a moment, admitting I was glad she had, though. ¡°Are you beginning to see why I stayed away from you for so long? It wasn¡¯t just about your brother.¡±


    She nodded. ¡°Yeah, I guess. You irrationally fear someone else is going to die if you actually begin to like another girl.¡±


    I snorted. ¡°Begin to? The begin-to boat has sailed, sweetheart. I already like you. A lot. That¡¯s why this is so hard. Why our whole girlfriend-boyfriend talk today was so awkward. I don¡¯t like the girls I screw. I¡¯ve made a point not to. I didn¡¯t date, I didn¡¯t fuck with the lights on, I never cuddled afterward.¡± With an impatient kind of sigh, I hugged her tighter to me. ¡°You¡¯re seriously breaking all my rules. You know that, right?¡±

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    Her smile just grew. ¡°I¡¯m beginning to get a clue.¡±


    Jesus, she was loving this. Why did women love it so much when you got all sappy and poured your frigging heart out to them?


    ¡°So, if the timeline in my head is right, this all happened near the end of your...last year of high school, right?¡±


    I nodded. ¡°Two months before graduation.¡±


    ¡°God, that¡¯s so awful. How did you...I can¡¯t even imagine how you were able to graduate after that. How you moved on at all.¡±


    I shook my head. ¡°I don¡¯t remember much about the last bit of high school. I just know I passed. It was moving on to college that really changed everything. I guess I looked at it as a clean slate, as if I hadn¡¯t existed until that moment. I had no past, no sister, no nothing. I was just me. Gamble...¡± I paused and glanced at her.


    She nodded, seemingly okay with me bringing up her brother. I swallowed. ¡°Well, he probably helped me through everything more than anyone, without even knowing what he was doing. We were assigned as roommates in the dorms. And he just...swept me along with him and kind of forced us into being this...team.¡± I shook my head and grinned. ¡°It was easy not to tell him shit about me. That fucker was driven. I tell you what, he was looking so far into the future when he came to ESU, it was as if he never had a past. Like no one had ever had a past. So, shit, I don¡¯t know. It was easy to forget anything that had happened to me before college, too. We just lived for the present and the future. I knew about you and your brothers because he would call home, like, every fucking day, but I figured you were all really young or something. I never really thought about it. He didn¡¯t voice any concerns to me, so I didn¡¯t worry about you either. And he never worried about any of my shit I¡¯d pushed out of my head, so...it just worked for us.¡±


    With a smile, Caroline hugged me. ¡°I understand why he had to leave Colton and Brandt and me for a while, then. He had to be here for you.¡±


    I stared at her, realizing shit, she¡¯d had to suffer so I could find a way to heal. That sucked ass. But in a way, I was kind of glad it¡¯d worked out this way. Her suffering had brought her here, to me.


    Pressing my forehead to hers, I breathed in that amazing smell that was purely my woman. Then I cupped her face in my hands. ¡°Whatever shit happened to drag us here to this moment...I wish most of it hadn¡¯t needed to go down the way it did, but I¡¯m still glad it ended up here, right here, with you and me together on this roof. The pain was worth it if it¡¯s what brought you to me.¡±


    Caroline sucked in a shuddery breath before murmuring, ¡°Oren?¡±


    ¡°Hmm?¡± I closed my eyes, once again so grateful I had her.


    ¡°Your hour session¡¯s over.¡±


    I opened my eyes. She smiled up at me. Damn, I loved how horny she could get.


    With a groan, I rasped, ¡°Thank God,¡± right before I kissed her.


    I should¡¯ve known better than to open up to anyone about my sister. The very night I sat on top of the old theater and told Caroline about Zoey, I went home after dropping her off near her house and fell asleep in my bed, only to have a fucking nightmare.


    The dream even started shitty, with Libby Lawson shrieking at the sight of my dick.


    ¡°Oh my God! What the hell is wrong with it?¡±


    I¡¯d just crawled off her, was still naked, and I was scouring her bedroom for my pants before her parents returned from their dinner party.


    ¡°What?¡± I glanced down, hoping she didn¡¯t think I was too small. Then I immediately covered myself. Shit, I wasn¡¯t smaller than Rowdy Crowner, was I? She¡¯d dated him earlier in the year, and I¡¯d heard they¡¯d gone all the way. But, damn, I¡¯d have to kill myself if she told me I was smaller than that douche.


    Face molted in horror, she veered backward up the bed in an attempt to get as far away from me as possible. ¡°Holy shit. What is that thing on the side? You don¡¯t have some kind of STD, do you?¡±


    I blinked for a second before saying, ¡°You mean my birthmark?¡±


    ¡°Your what?¡±


    I opened my hands to show her. ¡°It¡¯s just a birthmark. I¡¯ve always had it.¡±


    She shuddered and turned her face away. ¡°Eww. Put it away. I can¡¯t believe you had that thing inside me. How gross. Why didn¡¯t you tell me about it before we did anything? I better not catch something from you!¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry.¡± I couldn¡¯t get the bitterness from my voice as I scrambled to yank my clothes on. I hated how my face was heating. ¡°Birthmarks aren¡¯t contagious.¡±

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    ¡°It better not be, or I¡¯m telling everyone what a freak you are.¡±


    Acid churned in my stomach and bile rose in my throat. Panic clawed at me as I pictured myself walking into school on Monday with everyone laughing and pointing. Damn, I was going to have to drop out of school. Eight more weeks until high school graduation and my life was over...all because I¡¯d finally lost it to a chick who¡¯d obviously seen enough cocks to know mine was not average.


    ¡°Whatever,¡± I snarled. ¡°Thanks for the lay. Maybe you¡¯ll get better with practice.¡±


    As parting shots went, that wasn¡¯t my finest, but fuck, I wasn¡¯t on my A-game at the moment. Bowing my head, I jogged from her house and out to my car, a vintage beauty that my dad had bought for me and my sister, thinking we¡¯d be able to share it.


    Mostly, we just fought over who¡¯d get to drive it. Tonight, I¡¯d won the keys, and I thought my luck was sticking with me when Libby had called me over, saying her parents were away, giving us an hour to play. Who knew it¡¯d all go to shit so quickly?


    ¡°Fuck, fuck, fuck,¡± I muttered and pounded my fist against the steering wheel. I¡¯d never felt so humiliated as I did in that moment. Seventeen years old and my life was officially done. If Libby followed her word¡ªand she was probably calling all her friends right now¡ªI¡¯d never get laid again. My first and only time to try sex, and it hadn¡¯t even been that good.


    ¡°Damn it.¡± I started the car and roared down the street. I was reaching for the radio controls to find some loud, pissed-off music when my cell phone rang.


    Fuck. That was probably one of my buddies who¡¯d already heard about my freakish junk. I almost didn¡¯t check the screen, but curiosity got the best of me. When I saw Zoey¡¯s name, I groaned.


    My twin already knew? Wasn¡¯t that just...great.


    ¡°What?¡± I muttered when I answered.


    ¡°Come get me,¡± she demanded on a sniff, obviously crying. ¡°Now.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Completely forgetting about myself, I slammed on the brakes and did a U-turn to speed back toward her friend¡¯s house where I knew she was staying the night with a couple other girls from school. ¡°Who the fuck do I have to kill?¡±


    ¡°No one. I just...I want to go home.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m four blocks away. Be right there.¡±


    ¡°Okay. Hurry.¡±


    She came tearing out to the car, her overnight bag thrown over her shoulder and mascara streaked down her cheeks. I pushed open my door, pissed that anyone would make my sister cry. ¡°Seriously.¡± I slid the bag off her shoulder and shoved it over the seat into the back of the car. ¡°Who made you cry?¡±


    She wiped at her black-streaked cheeks. ¡°No one. She doesn¡¯t even know what she did. It wasn¡¯t her fault anyway. Just...let¡¯s go. Please.¡±


    I turned back to scowl up at her friend¡¯s house, but the girls crowded in the doorway watching us looked worried and sympathetic, so I couldn¡¯t rightly charge up there and cuss any of them out. When I came back around, Zoey had climbed into the driver¡¯s seat.


    ¡°No,¡± I said, motioning with my thumb for her to get out. ¡°You¡¯re not driving. Not like this. Besides, it¡¯s my night, remember?¡±


    And I didn¡¯t want to feel any more emasculated than I already felt. I¡¯d already been told I was a freakish horror between the legs; I did not want my little sister to go driving me around. It didn¡¯t even matter than she was only a minute and a half younger than me, I was still technically the big brother.


    ¡°Damn it, Oren.¡± She peered up at me from her tearstained eyes. ¡°I need to...I just need to relieve some pressure right now. Please.¡±


    I¡¯d never really been able to say no to her, but especially not when she was crying, so I sighed, ground my teeth and muttered, ¡°Fine. Whatever,¡± before I went around to the passenger side. I tugged on my seat belt as soon as I climbed in, and fucking awful brother that I was, I didn¡¯t even notice that she¡¯d neglected to put hers on.


    ¡°So, what¡¯s the deal?¡± I asked as she peeled out down the road and veered around a corner.


    ¡°Corey Garboni slept with Suzanne.¡±


    I waited for her to go on, but when she didn¡¯t, I lifted my eyebrows. ¡°Okay. So?¡±


    ¡°So?¡± She sent me an incredulous scowl. ¡°So, I liked Corey. I let him go up my shirt last weekend.¡±


    ¡°You did what?¡±


    ¡°And he was supposed to take me to the movies again tomorrow,¡± she ranted on without even hearing me. ¡°I had no idea he was into Suzanne too, and she had no idea about what I¡¯d done with him.¡±

 Page 91

    ¡°Bastard,¡± I muttered under my breath. ¡°I can¡¯t believe you even liked that guy. I¡¯ve always thought he was a fucking douche.¡±


    ¡°Oh, well I¡¯m so sorry I couldn¡¯t like someone you approved of.¡±


    ¡°You should be,¡± I said. ¡°I could probably find you a better guy than you could. Someone who wouldn¡¯t fucking cheat on you, anyway.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± She arched me an incredulous glance. ¡°I would just love to hear what kind of guy you think I should end up with.¡±


    ¡°Fine.¡± I cleared my throat and resituated myself in the passenger seat, thinking it through. ¡°He has to like football, or I wouldn¡¯t have anything in common with him, and if he¡¯s going to hang out with you, then I¡¯ll probably be stuck hanging out with him more than I want.¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± she said on the nod as she slowed the car to turn a corner. ¡°I could handle a football player.¡±


    ¡°Right.¡± I drew in a breath before adding, ¡°Loyal, faithful, quiet.¡±


    ¡°Quiet?¡± She sent me a mystified glance.


    I nodded, sticking with my original decision. ¡°Yeah. We¡¯re both talkers, so you¡¯d definitely need a listener, maybe someone a little reserved but totally willing to stand up for you if need be. He¡¯d have to be bigger than me, because I just wouldn¡¯t be able to respect him if he wasn¡¯t. Oh, and smart, like into science so that he¡¯ll end up a rich heart surgeon or something.¡±


    ¡°You haven¡¯t described his looks yet.¡±


    I shrugged and made a face. ¡°Fuck, like I care how he looks.¡±


    She grinned. ¡°Then I want him to be hot. Preferably blue eyes and maybe even a dimple.¡±


    I shook my head, boggled as to why those two things had made the cut and nothing else. Girls were so strange. ¡°Fine,¡± I said. ¡°Whatever.¡±


    She snorted out a quick laugh. ¡°You know, we just described a guy who couldn¡¯t possibly exist. A sexy, shy, biology-loving athlete. Really, Oren. Never going to happen.¡±


    ¡°Well, then I guess we¡¯ll just have to grow old together, single and hopeless.¡± Glancing out the passenger side window, I mumbled to myself, ¡°Because I¡¯m certainly never getting laid again.¡±


    But my twin heard me, loud and clear. ¡°What do you mean again? You haven¡¯t¡ªoh my God. Were you at Libby¡¯s house when I just called?¡±


    ¡°I was on my way home from her house when you called,¡± I corrected.


    She gasped. ¡°Holy shit. So you two¡ª¡± When she glanced at me, her eyebrows crinkled with worry. ¡°Oh, no. Your birthmark freaked her out, didn¡¯t it?¡±


    I zipped her a hard stare. ¡°How the hell did you know that?¡±


    She shrugged. ¡°I don¡¯t know. I just...guessed. I mean, I¡¯ve never actually seen a real live penis aside from yours when we were younger, but I¡¯ve heard girls talk, and none of them mention bright purple spots on the side.¡±


    I sank lower in my seat, wanting to just fucking die. ¡°Well, thanks for cluing me in on that...after I¡¯d already fucking humiliated myself for life. She¡¯s going to tell everyone, you know. She¡¯s going to say what a freak I am, and I¡¯m never going to have sex again in my entire¡ª¡±


    ¡°Oh, whatever.¡± Zoey snorted and rolled her eyes at me. ¡°Not every girl out there is as callous as Libby, the slut, Lawson. One day, you¡¯re going to meet an amazing girl¡ªthat I can actually stomach¡ªand she¡¯s going to love everything about you, even your colorful pecker.¡±


    I arched an eyebrow. ¡°I was actually hoping I could get as much pussy as possible before the one came along and I had to settle down.¡±


    Zoey gasped and grabbed a wadded napkin that had been sitting in the center console before she flung it at me. ¡°Don¡¯t you dare end up being such a player, Oren Michael Tenning, or I¡¯ll¡ª¡±


    ¡°Watch out,¡± I shouted as we entered an intersection. The vehicle to the left wasn¡¯t obeying their stop sign.


    Zoey slammed on the brake, but it was too late. She screamed my name, and I screamed hers.


    I was still shouting her name when I woke, thrashing in my sheets. ¡°Zoey,¡± I choked out, only to jump out of my skin when a pair of hands grabbed my arm.


    ¡°Ten. Hey, Ten. Wake up. You¡¯re having a nightmare.¡±


    I jerked upright and panted, out of breath as my two roommates backed up a step from my mattress, eyeing me as if I was rabid. Sweat rolled down my temples and bare chest.


    I gaped up at Ham, remembering every detail of the last conversation I¡¯d had with my twin. The first moment I¡¯d met him, I¡¯d almost shit my pants with disbelief. He¡¯d been the very image of the guy Zoey and I had described. I think my sister would¡¯ve actually liked him too...if she¡¯d ever gotten the chance to meet him.

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    The fact that he¡¯d ended up with a woman named Zoey had almost been too eerie to take at first. Blondie was the antithesis of how my sister had been, but still...with the same name and the way she¡¯d hooked up with Hamilton, I hadn¡¯t been able to brush off the brotherly feelings I¡¯d grown for her.


    ¡°Are you okay?¡± she asked, climbing onto the bed with worried eyes to sit beside me. ¡°You were yelling my name.¡±


    I shuddered. ¡°Was I?¡±


    ¡°It freaked us out.¡± Ham sat on the corner, his expression matching his woman¡¯s.


    I cleared my throat and glanced away. ¡°Yeah, well...sorry about that.¡±


    ¡°You were dreaming about your sister, weren¡¯t you?¡±


    With a glare at Ham for even asking that and an internal cringe at myself for once admitting to them that I¡¯d had a sister named Zoey, I then glanced away and gave a nod.


    Blondie took my hand. ¡°Do you want me to change my name? I would. For you.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s sweet,¡± I said and sent her a small smile as I squeezed her fingers thankfully. Then I pulled her toward me and gave her a hug. ¡°But, no. I¡¯ll just keep calling you Blondie.¡±


    She nodded. ¡°Okay. I like Blondie. It¡¯s way better than Milk Tits.¡±


    I pulled out of the hug to scowl at her. ¡°Milk Tits is a kick-ass nickname.¡±


    She laughed and shook her head. ¡°No. It¡¯s actually really awful.¡± But as soon as her smile started, it settled. ¡°Do you want to talk about it? Your nightmare.¡±


    God, no. The last time I¡¯d talked about this shit, I¡¯d ended up with this very nightmare. I was done talking. I shook my head. ¡°No. I¡¯m good. You guys can go back to sleep.¡±


    ¡°Are you sure?¡± Ham asked. ¡°Can we get you some water or anything?¡±


    Damn. These two. Their sweetness was beginning to make my teeth rot. ¡°Mom. Dad.¡± I lifted my hands. ¡°I¡¯m fine. Seriously. I¡¯m sorry for waking you. Now get back to bed.¡±


    And finally, they relented. Blondie had to give me another hug and Ham patted my shoulder, but once they were gone, I couldn¡¯t get back to sleep. I tossed and turned and before I knew it, I was grabbing my phone off the nightstand and zinging a text off to Caroline.


    After writing, Nobody puts baby in a corner, I sighed and tossed the phone back onto the counter, only for it to immediately ding with a response. Not expecting her to write back at this time of night, I picked it up, thrilled to see it really was from her.


    Why are you sending me a Dirty Dancing quote at two in the morning?


    I grinned, and immediately, my chest felt looser. I could breathe easier, and the headache that had been forming behind my eyes abated completely. I¡¯ve been studying up. I wanted to wow my sexy movie-expert girlfriend with my new knowledge of movie one-liners.


    Well, I¡¯m not wowed. Everyone knows THAT line.


    So, I typed, Frankly, my dear, I don¡¯t give a damn.


    To which she typed back, Clark Gable. Gone with the Wind. Send a real challenge already. I¡¯m yawning over here.


    A grin lit my face. Maybe you¡¯re yawning because you¡¯re up at two in the goddamn morning. Maybe someone needs to¡­make you an offer you can¡¯t refuse.


    GODFATHER. And you¡¯re the one waking me up at two in the goddamn morning. What¡¯s up with that?


    I was leaving a message for you to read when you woke up. I didn¡¯t mean for it to actually wake you, Rosebud.


    Well it woke me, Citizen Kane. What¡¯re you doing up now, anyway? You didn¡¯t work tonight.


    I debated over whether I should tell her, but then I shrugged. What the hell? Bad dream, I typed.


    Two seconds later, my phone rang. I shook my head and answered. ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°What were you dreaming about?¡±


    ¡°It was nothing,¡± I started, only for her to talk over me.


    ¡°It was about your sister, wasn¡¯t it? We had that big heart-to-heart on the roof earlier and it brought up a bunch of memories. Damn it, I should¡¯ve suspected this might happen.¡±


    ¡°A misdiagnosis from Dr. Caroline?¡± I gasped. ¡°I think I¡¯m going to need a refund from our last session.¡±


    There was a pause before she said, ¡°I don¡¯t even know what that means. You¡¯re not regretting that sex on the theater roof, are you?¡±


    ¡°Fuck, no.¡± I laughed, and damn, it felt good to laugh. I was actually glad my text had woken her. Just hearing her voice was already making me feel better. ¡°I don¡¯t know what I meant,¡± I admitted. ¡°It just sounded good.¡±

 Page 93

    She snorted. ¡°Is this how your brain works every night at two a.m.? I think you need more sleep, bud.¡±


    ¡°Well, maybe I could sleep better if I had a soft, sweet-smelling blonde to cuddle with.¡±


    She sighed. ¡°Well, maybe if you went to your front door and unlocked it, you¡¯d find one already waiting for you.¡±


    I paused and blinked. ¡°Wait? What? You cannot be here, now, outside my apartment.¡±


    ¡°Why not?¡±


    ¡°Shit? You¡¯re here? Now?¡± I threw off my covers and marched through the house to fling open my front door.


    A real-live Caroline, her hair full of bedhead and her clothes wrinkled and clearly thrown on in haste, smiled up at me. ¡°Surprise.¡±


    ¡°What the hell?¡± I snagged her around the waist and dragged her inside. ¡°What...please don¡¯t tell me you walked here in the dark.¡± And how the hell had she made it here so fast if she had?


    ¡°No.¡± She hugged me and kissed my cheek. ¡°I pinched Aspen¡¯s keys and left her a note.¡±


    I grinned. ¡°Well, you devious little woman, you. Do you know what I do to wily women?¡±


    ¡°You...leave them panting and boneless after a world-class orgasm?¡± she guessed.


    ¡°Why, yes. Yes, ma¡¯am, I do.¡± Picking her up, I carried her back to my room and kicked the door shut behind me.


    And the only dream I had the rest of the night was a dream come true.


    Things changed after that night. And it wasn¡¯t just because I finished college and put on a cap and gown and walked through a stupid line so my parents could take a crapload of pictures of me shaking hands with some important dipshits. I just felt...different.


    My applications were sent off, my future was wide open to explore, yet I feared leaving Ellamore more than ever. And it was all because of one sexy, saucy little blonde who¡¯d flipped my world upside down.


    It certainly didn¡¯t help that she liked to fuck with me at the worst possible times, either, like the sexy little text she sent right before I started a shift at the club on a ladies¡¯ night.


    Just wanted you to know I¡¯m touching myself right now and imagining it¡¯s your tongue instead.


    The glasses I was supposed to be stacking behind the bar were instantly forgotten. I whimpered, hard as a rock as I began to type in my response. You have a dirty mouth, little girl. I know exactly what you need to clean it out with.


    So...69?


    I shook my head as desire rippled through me. ¡°Minx,¡± I muttered aloud. I started to type back when a voice from behind me startled the fucking shit out of me.


    ¡°Wow, who¡¯s texting you that has so much of your attention?¡±


    I spun around to gape at Gam. Then I sniffed. ¡°None of your fucking business.¡± I lowered my face to the text, but now the moment was ruined by big brother.


    ¡°Seriously.¡± Gamble made a grab for my phone, but I was quicker, holding it away from him. His gaze shot to mine. ¡°Who¡¯re you texting? Why won¡¯t you show me?¡±


    ¡°Because it¡¯s your sister.¡± I used one of my typical smart-ass answers because, hell, I don¡¯t know. That¡¯s something I would say, and...shit, I didn¡¯t think he¡¯d really believe me.


    I typed, Wear that red thing again. I want to rip it off you...with my teeth this time¡ª just as the bastard jabbed me in the gut with a fist and yanked the phone from my hand. I doubled over, groaning. When I straightened as much as I could, clutching my belly, I noticed a worried-looking Ham had paused to watch us. His eyes were wide because he knew I hadn¡¯t been lying about it being Gamble¡¯s sister on the other end of my texts.


    Caroline never sexted me from her personal number, though. She still used Midnight Visitor¡¯s number. I¡¯m not sure why, but I had to admit it was always hot to see that name pop up. Told me I was about to read something explicit and sexual. At the moment, I was doubly glad she did it, because it had just saved our asses from the wrath of Noel Gamble.


    He snickered as he started to read through our private correspondence.


    ¡°Pervert,¡± I muttered, grabbing my phone back and glaring at him. ¡°Those weren¡¯t meant for your eyes, jackass.¡±


    Gam lifted his eyebrows in surprise. ¡°That was your midnight visitor friend.¡±


    I rolled my eyes. ¡°Really? I had no idea.¡±


    He set his hands on his hips, frowning. ¡°I thought you said you weren¡¯t hooking up with her anymore.¡±


    ¡°Well, I guess we still text around. Why do you care?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t. I¡¯m just surprised you¡¯re being so secretive about it.¡±

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    With a full laugh, I shook my head. ¡°I¡¯m not being secretive. Since when does not wanting you to ruin my mood by butting into a smoking hot conversation make me secretive?¡±


    ¡°Since you usually shove them in my face to read every fucking line of them. What is up with you, man? You always give details, usually more than I ever want to begin with.¡±


    ¡°Well, maybe I¡¯m actually beginning to listen to you about keeping my shit to myself. Did you ever think of that? Your little Ten is growing up and learning something called privacy and responsibility and respect, and all that decent shit.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, right,¡± he said dryly. ¡°You grew up that much in...how long has it been since you started fucking her? A few weeks ago? A month?¡±


    I bristled. I didn¡¯t like how disre-fucking-spectfully he was treating my relationship with Caroline. I knew he wouldn¡¯t be saying that shit if he knew who he was talking about, but damn...it still made me want to wrap my hands around his neck and just¡ª


    ¡°Yo, Gamble,¡± Hart called suddenly from the other end of the bar. I glanced over to see him with his phone in his hand and his palm over the receiver. ¡°Your sister¡¯s on the phone for you.¡±


    What? Why the hell was Caroline calling him in the middle of sexting with me? And why had I not heard the phone ring? Whatever the reason, Gam moved away to answer her summons, dropping our argument flat.


    I blinked at Hart as he shook his head at me when he passed. ¡°You¡¯re welcome,¡± he muttered.


    ¡°What?¡± Confused, I turned to follow him.


    Hart sighed and glanced over my shoulder to watch Gamble talk on the phone. ¡°You need to be a little cooler around him, man.¡±


    I stopped short, blinking. ¡°What the fuck does that mean?¡±


    ¡°It means you¡¯re kind of being an ass. You¡¯re the one fucking him over right now, sneaking around behind his back. Yet you¡¯re acting like it¡¯s the other way around.¡±


    ¡°Are you kidding me?¡± I muttered, digging a finger into my own chest. ¡°He¡¯s the reason Caroline and I have to keep everything hush-hush in the first place. I think I have a pretty damn good reason to be irritated with him. And¡ªwait. What the hell?¡± I stepped in closer and grabbed his shirt to yank him into the opening of the hallway. ¡°You know,¡± I hissed. ¡°How the fuck do you know?¡±


    The fucker just grinned at me. ¡°Know what?¡±


    I ground my teeth and glanced around to make sure no one was listening in on us. ¡°Don¡¯t fucking play with me, man. How did you find out?¡±


    He shrugged, still looking too pleased with himself. ¡°I figured it out the night you got your first text from...what do you call her again? Your midnight visitor? Caroline asked me to sneak your cell phone back to you after she and Zoey had taken it.¡±


    ¡°Zo¡ªBlondie was involved in that, too?¡± Ooh, Blondie and I were going to have some words after this. ¡°Holy shit. So, you knew before I even knew?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± Looking proud of himself, Hart chuckled. ¡°I¡¯m pretty clever that way.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re pretty dead.¡± I shoved him against the wall and scowled. ¡°Why the fuck didn¡¯t you tell me you knew that night?¡±


    Hart merely shrugged, seemingly unconcerned by the fact that I was a split second from maiming him. ¡°I knew you¡¯d figure it out eventually. And Caroline went to a lot of work to fool you. I didn¡¯t want to ruin all her plans.¡±


    He was Team Caroline. I didn¡¯t like that. Just how much did he adore her? Frowning, I scowled as I stepped back to give him room. Starting up a tune to whistle, he winked and slid past me, exiting the hall and reentering the bar.


    I followed him slowly, warily. Him knowing too much was not cool. Nothing¡ªabsolutely nothing¡ªwas keeping him from telling Noel everything, right this second.


    ¡°So, Ten...¡± Asher grinned at me as he swung a chair off a table. His smile was too conniving.


    I narrowed my eyes. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°How about you and I make a little wager tonight?¡±


    Forgetting the glasses I¡¯d been stacking, I moved to the table next to the one he was working on and took another chair off it to swing it around and sit it upright on the floor. ¡°What kind of wager?¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s see which one of us can get the most phone numbers from women?¡±


    I paused and glanced at him. The twinkle in his eyes as he folded his arms over his chest and rested back against the table told me he knew he had me boxed into a corner.


    Behind us, Gamble hooted. ¡°Now that¡¯s a competition I¡¯d like to see.¡±

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    Shit. I glanced back at Gamble and mentally bitch slapped the piss out of Hart. What the hell was he getting me into? I couldn¡¯t turn him down now, not with Gamble listening in; he¡¯d know something was up if I rejected a challenge like this.


    ¡°Me too,¡± Hart said. His grin spread a little too wide and a little too knowingly. ¡°Unless you have a reason why you¡¯d have to say...no.¡±


    My mouth fell open. What a prick. He must really like Caroline, enough to fuck with me tonight in some evil plot to get her away from me.


    I nodded and mumbled, ¡°Whatever,¡± because I couldn¡¯t say no in front of Gam and no way in hell was I voicing the word yes aloud.


    But the first second I had after we opened the doors and Gamble was busy at the bar, I shoved the prick from behind. ¡°Go up to the bar where Gam can hear you and call this fucking bet off.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± He looked startled. ¡°Why would I do that?¡±


    Because I¡¯d kill him if he didn¡¯t. I lifted my hands and sent him an incredulous glare. ¡°Why do you think? I can¡¯t fucking hit on other women. I¡¯m with someone, numb nuts.¡±


    ¡°Then you call it off.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t. Gamble will realize something fishy is going on, like I¡¯m sleeping with his sister behind his back.¡±


    ¡°Well, you are, so¡ª¡±


    ¡°Fuck you.¡± I shoved him in the chest. ¡°We¡¯re going to tell him. Someday. But first, I want to show him I can grow up and take care of her before I drop the big bomb. Maybe that way, he won¡¯t kill me quite so fast when he finds out. Except playing a dumbass game to accumulate phone numbers won¡¯t show him any such shit.¡±


    ¡°Then call it off, man. Show him you¡¯re growing up.¡±


    I growled. ¡°Like he¡¯ll believe that. Everyone knows I couldn¡¯t grow up that fast. It has to be a slow progressive change to maturity.¡±


    ¡°Oh God.¡± Hart rolled his eyes. ¡°You¡¯re giving me a headache.¡±


    I shoved him again. ¡°Just call off the fucking bet.¡±


    Except he didn¡¯t. And so...the night started with his stupid bet itching at my conscience.


    ¡°Any numbers yet?¡± Gam asked a half hour into our shift as I approached the bar with a list of drinks to fetch for customers.


    I lifted my face to where he was watching me from behind the counter. ¡°Huh?¡±


    He rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers in front of my face. ¡°Chicks. Numbers. The bet. Any of that ring a bell?¡±


    ¡°Oh, right. Yeah, no. No numbers yet.¡±


    ¡°Really? You must be off your game tonight. Hart already has three.¡±


    ¡°Does he?¡± I glanced around to a table where Hart was grinning down at the table of girls. The fucker. I narrowed my eyes at him before turning back to Gam. ¡°Must be the musician thing?¡±


    ¡°Hmm.¡± Gamble eyed me censoriously, as if he knew better. Then he folded his arms over his chest. ¡°I was sure you¡¯d get something from the table you just served.¡±


    If I¡¯d actually been playing in Hart¡¯s damn game, yeah, I probably would have.


    I glanced back at them. ¡°They all had boyfriends,¡± I said.


    ¡°And how the hell could you tell that?¡± Gamble asked. ¡°You barely talked to them long enough to take their drink orders much less gain relationship statuses.¡±


    I set my empty serving tray on top of the bar¡ªa little too hard¡ªand sent Gam a glare. ¡°Why the fuck is this bet so damn important to you? Jesus, it¡¯s like you¡¯re trying to relive your bachelor years through me now, or something.¡±


    ¡°Excuse me?¡± Gam wrenched back at my outburst, and I realized I¡¯d gone too far. Shit. ¡°Christ, man. I don¡¯t know what¡¯s got your pussy so dry and irritable lately, but there is definitely something up with you. Now...what is going on?¡±


    I leaned in to rest my elbows on the bar and then I buried my face into my hands. I just about told him everything, then. I don¡¯t know why; I hadn¡¯t discussed it with Caroline, but I was seriously fucking tired of keeping it from him.


    ¡°Or is it because of her?¡± Gamble¡¯s question made me lift my face. I glanced over my shoulder to see Caroline passing clearance through the doorman.


    My face drained of color.


    Shit, shit, shit. What was she doing here? What if she learned about the bet? What if she thought I was cool with it and had willingly volunteered to participate? What if¡ª


    ¡°Jesus, you really do have it bad for Hamilton¡¯s woman, don¡¯t you?¡± Gamble murmured.

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    ¡°What?¡± I glanced at him, confused, until he pointed Caroline¡¯s way again. That¡¯s when I noticed Blondie was with her. The fucker really thought I¡¯d been staring at her instead of his sister.


    I groaned. This was not working. I opened my mouth to call off the bet with Hart and tell Gamble in no uncertain terms that I was not carrying around a flame for Hamilton¡¯s woman when Hart cursed from behind me. Then he spoke up louder, saying, ¡°Hey, Ten. I¡¯m closing the bet, now. I got four numbers. Can you beat that?¡±


    I glanced at him, scowling. ¡°You¡¯re stopping it now?¡±


    When he nodded, I rolled my eyes. ¡°You all piss me the fuck off. You know that?¡±


    Fed up with the both of them, I whirled away from the bar and marched off. I wanted to go to Caroline, but I couldn¡¯t. Which only infuriated me more. When she caught my eye, I kept walking, feeling shitty about having to blow her off.


    I¡¯d just taken an order from another table when Hart caught my arm. ¡°Man, I didn¡¯t know Caroline was going to show up tonight. I¡¯d never do anything to hurt her.¡±


    ¡°Fuck off.¡± I shrugged him away and marched back to the bar to put in my orders. I made sure to stop at Lowe¡¯s end instead of Gamble¡¯s, though. As he fixed me up with a full tray to deliver to my customers, I glanced around the place. I spotted Blondie where she¡¯d waylaid Ham and was greeting him with a hug and kiss. But Caroline was no longer with her. So I kept scanning. Where the hell had she gone?


    When I finally spotted her, she¡¯d already found me. She strolled through the crowd of people and tables as she headed in my direction, and dear God...I had no idea she owned a skirt that short, or top that tight and low-cut. My insides heated. I wanted everyone else in the place to just disappear so I could lay her out on top of the bar and feast upon her.


    But Gamble called out her name and crooked his finger beckoning her to him. She turned away from me, and something inside me growled with displeasure.


    I watched her skip to her brother at the other end of the bar. He crossed his arms over his chest as he spoke to her, probably giving her some kind of lecture. In return, she set her hands on her hips and said something back, something smart-mouthed and defensive would be my guess. But instead of growing pissed, Gamble merely chuckled and then reached for her to pull her half across the bar so he could hug her, which made her skirt ride higher up the back of her thighs to damn near show the entire club what color of panties she was wearing. As she smiled and hugged him back, I glanced away.


    It was times like this that made it so much harder to do the shit I was doing behind his back. If only his sister had been anyone but Caroline, I was sure I never would¡¯ve had a problem keeping my hands off her. But she was just so...her.


    ¡°Here you go.¡± Lowe set the last of my drink requests on my tray and I picked it up, sending one last longing glance Caroline¡¯s way. She was looking my way again, sadly, as if she was beginning to realize I wasn¡¯t going to approach her. Not here.


    I turned away, more miserable than ever.


    When I returned to the bar, she was no longer there. I had to scan quickly before I caught sight of her near a table full of men and women, where some ugly motherfucker was looking a little too interested in her tits as he smiled and laughed at whatever she was saying.


    I cracked my knuckles, wanting to slaughter him, whoever he was.


    But then Hart approached their table and stole her attention away from the ugly mo-fo. Except that didn¡¯t settle my jealousy in the least.


    Seriously, the fucker was openly flirting with her, right in front of Gamble. And Gamble¡ªthe douche¡ªdid nothing, didn¡¯t even twitch an eyelash. I couldn¡¯t mention Caroline¡¯s name around him without him nearly busting my balls and warning me away from her, but Hart could damn near stick his hand up her short little skirt in front of him and he completely ignored it?


    It was no fucking fair.


    I stewed and ground my teeth as I took another order. I¡¯d just delivered a round of slippery nipples to a group of rowdy drunk chicks¡ªone of whom grabbed my ass when she slid my tip into my back pocket¡ªwhen I spotted Caroline entering the hall that led back to the offices and bathrooms.


    Not about to let this opportunity slip by, I hurried after her.


    There were about a dozen people blocking my way, but I dodged around them and caught Caroline¡¯s arm right before she could enter the ladies¡¯ room.


    ¡°Wha...?¡± She spun around to confront me, her eyes flashing wide when she saw it was me.


    Changing directions, I tugged her along until we reached the door to Pick¡¯s office. I didn¡¯t even bother to turn on a light. As soon as I had her inside and the door shut, I pushed her against it and pinned her there. Then I kissed the piss out of her. Her mouth clung to mine and her fingers clutched my shirt.

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    We attacked each other until I had to come up for air.


    ¡°What the fuck are you doing, coming here, dressed like that?¡± I thundered and kissed her again, hard, not giving her a chance to answer. While I spiked my tongue into her mouth, my hands roamed her thighs until I had them up her skirt and was palming her ass cheeks through her panties. After I managed to pull my mouth away, I pressed my forehead to hers. ¡°Or did you just want to drive me crazy because you knew I couldn¡¯t talk to you, or touch you, or kiss you after those fucking, stirring texts you sent me?¡±


    ¡°You used to talk to me in public before,¡± she argued, even as she ran her fingers through my hair and cupped my head in her hands. Then she yanked me in for another kiss.


    I ground my pelvis into hers and kissed her back, only to come up for air so I could keep arguing. ¡°Yeah. Before,¡± I muttered. ¡°When it wasn¡¯t fucking impossible to keep my hands off you. I don¡¯t know how the hell I¡¯m ever going to survive being in the same room with you and your brother again, not without letting something slip.¡±


    Caroline laughed. ¡°You mean something like this.¡± When her hand wandered toward my throbbing erection, I snagged her wrist.


    ¡°Oh, no you don¡¯t. You don¡¯t get to play with the magic stick after the way you just totally flirted with Hart.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Her incredulous exclamation came a second before she shoved me in the chest. ¡°I was not.¡±


    ¡°Really? And here, I could¡¯ve sworn he told you how good you looked tonight, how you put every other woman in the place to shame, and in return, you smiled up at him and batted those goddamn beautiful lashes his way.¡±


    ¡°Oh. That.¡± She cleared her throat discreetly. ¡°Well, I wouldn¡¯t exactly call that flirting. It was more like¡ª¡±


    ¡°Flirting,¡± I deadpanned. ¡°He fucking flirted with you. And you flirted back.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s just how we talk. It didn¡¯t mean anything. I certainly didn¡¯t grab his ass the way that one girl did to you when she slid your tip into your pocket, now did I?¡±


    I barked out a harsh laugh. ¡°You¡¯re comparing? Really? Then you should note I didn¡¯t smile and bat my lashes at that chick after she touched me. I looked around for you, and I saw you going down the hall, so I followed you, and bam. Here we are. Jesus, but you make me horny when you¡¯re jealous.¡±


    I kissed her again and she was just as eager to kiss me back. She crawled up me until she¡¯d wound her legs around my waist.


    ¡°Damn it. I want to be inside you so bad right now.¡±


    ¡°I know.¡± She whimpered and ground her core against my erection. ¡°But I don¡¯t want to leave a mess in here. Do you have anything?¡±


    I shuddered. ¡°Yeah, but...shit, baby. I¡¯m working. Your brother¡¯s...¡± Hell, I couldn¡¯t even finish listing all the reasons why this was a bad idea. I ripped her panties off and plunged a finger inside her. She immediately lit up, and I almost went off with her while I was still tucked in my pants.


    ¡°Wait, I...fuck.¡± I couldn¡¯t see shit in this dark-ass office.


    While Caroline was still coming against my fingers, I searched the wall for a light switch. Once I found it, I flicked it on and caught the last of her orgasm as she rested the back of her head against the door and panted. Perspiration misted her brow and upper lip. She was so damn beautiful I once again almost came.


    Spotting the couch across the room, I carried her to it and laid her down. Then I dug my hand into my pocket and whipped out my wallet. As I fumbled for a condom I was sure had to be inside, Caroline sat up and unzipped my pants. I groaned as she pulled me free.


    She flitted her fingers over my birthmark first, as was her way, smiling softly as she touched it with a gentle kind of reverence. Then she kissed it before she licked me from base to tip and lapped up a drop of pre-cum at the end.


    I wondered why this didn¡¯t feel strange. I¡¯d spent years freaked out about my spotted dick and had gone to great pains to keep it hidden from everyone. But a month with Caroline and I had no qualms whatsoever about whipping it out in front of her. She actually made me feel more special because of it.


    Her mouth covered me completely before her face bobbed forward and she took most of me down her throat.


    Goddamn. That felt good.


    I grabbed a handful of her hair. When she moaned, I tightened my grip. ¡°Shit. You¡¯re really good at that.¡± She sucked a little harder and pulled me deeper into the hot, cavity of her mouth a little deeper. ¡°Damn. How do you make me ready to come so easily?¡±

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    Caroline popped her lips free and grinned up at me. I wanted to sob from the loss of her mouth, but yeah...I was a little too dazed by that smile. ¡°Just call me Caroline Gamble, renowned cock whisperer.¡±


    I laughed. ¡°You got that right. My cock definitely knows how to obey your every command.¡±


    Her amazing smile only grew. ¡°And what would your cock do if I gave this command?¡± Letting go of my hips, she lay back onto her spine and spread her legs open until her little skirt fell up to her waist to remind me I¡¯d taken off her panties already. When she touched herself, separating her pussy lips to show me how wet she was, I shook so hard I almost couldn¡¯t tear open my condom package fast enough.


    ¡°Fuck, woman. You¡¯re going to kill me.¡±


    ¡°And here I was only aiming to please you.¡±


    I paused between her legs and glanced up into her eyes. When she smiled again, I felt sucker punched hard in the chest. ¡°You please me,¡± I said, meaning it more than I¡¯d ever meant anything I¡¯d said in my life. ¡°You please me so fucking much.¡±


    I grabbed a handful of her hair at the base of her neck and kept her head captive so she was forced to look into my eyes. As her gaze widened with a knowing kind of shock, I pushed inside her. She pulled in a surprised gasp.


    I thrust slow and steady, making sure she felt every fucking centimeter of how much she satisfied me.


    ¡°No one¡¯s ever pleased me the way you please me. Every time with you is better than the last. I can¡¯t even...God, Caroline. You own me.¡±


    ¡°Oren.¡± She sobbed my name and threw her head back. When her inner muscles began to milk me, I ground my teeth.


    ¡°Damn it. Not yet.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t...help it. Can¡¯t stop.¡± She tried to restrain her orgasm, but it took her anyway, and I was unable to hold back either. Kissing her hard and running my hands over her face and hair, I emptied myself inside her.


    We clung to each other, riding the chaos until the room settled again. Then I panted out a breath and slumped on top of her, burying my face in her neck, right where she smelled the best.


    I have no clue how long we stayed like that. I was nearly unconscious and probably growing heavy on her, though, when she nudged my shoulder and giggled under me. ¡°Oren. Baby, don¡¯t fall asleep on me.¡±


    ¡°Why not?¡± I slurred, burrowing into her a little more and making her giggle again.


    ¡°You¡¯re working, remember?¡±


    I lifted my head from her shoulder to look around Pick¡¯s office. ¡°Fuck.¡± I¡¯d completely forgotten where we were. And I¡¯d never locked the door, either.


    I jumped up off her, giving myself a head rush in my hurry. Then I tossed the condom and tucked myself back into my pants. As I was zipping up, I turned to Caroline in time to watch her fetch her panties off the floor. There was no way she¡¯d be able to slip the shredded cloth back on, and I couldn¡¯t help it; I grinned smugly.


    She scowled at me and waved them in my face. ¡°Thanks a lot, asshole. You ruined them. What the hell am I supposed to do now?¡±


    I snatched them from her, glad to have the memento, and stuffed them into my pocket. ¡°Looks like someone¡¯s going commando for the rest of the night. Just make sure you don¡¯t flirt with Hart again while you¡¯re not wearing panties, or I¡¯m really going to lose my shit and go all cave-man on you. I¡¯ll probably toss you over my shoulder and drag you back to my lair, chain you to my bed and spank you daily.¡±


    She grinned and cupped my face in her hands. ¡°I love it when you get jealous.¡±


    I snorted because I didn¡¯t love it at all. I pretty much hated it. Jealousy was only hot when she wanted to cut a bitch for touching me, not the other way around. ¡°You don¡¯t know how douchebag Hart fucked with me earlier tonight, so I have a good reason to be pissed at him.¡±


    Her brow puckered in confusion. ¡°Asher fucked with you? How?¡±


    Feeling like a petulant child who was tattling on a bully, I rested my face on her shoulder and slipped my hand around her waist, only to let my palm wander down until I had it under her skirt and smoothing across her bare bottom. ¡°He figured us out when you enlisted him to help break into my phone. So to give me a hard time tonight, he tried to start a contest with me to see who could get the most chicks¡¯ phone numbers by the end of the night, knowing I couldn¡¯t say no in front of your brother.¡±


    When she tensed against me, I caught her elbow to keep her from going anywhere. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I didn¡¯t get a single number. I didn¡¯t even try. The fucker just pissed me off for making the challenge in the first place.¡±

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    When I looked up, I saw relief on Caroline¡¯s face. Beaming at me, she murmured, ¡°My poor Oren. It¡¯s tough being a reformed man-whore, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± I puckered out my bottom lip to make her laugh.


    Actually, the reformed part wasn¡¯t so tough at all; it was pretending to my best friend that I still was one that sucked ass.


    ¡°So you promise not to flirt with him ever again, right?¡± I pressed.


    ¡°Hmm?¡± She seemed too distracted with kissing her way across my jaw to answer. I scowled and snapped my fingers in front of her face.


    ¡°Focus, Caroline. Hart. The flirting. You¡¯re done with that. Right?¡±


    She blinked and looked up at me with raised eyebrows. ¡°Wow. You¡¯re really jealous of him.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not jealous,¡± I muttered. But she seemed so happy about the idea that I let out a long, drawn-out sigh. ¡°It¡¯s just that you seem so...fucking close to him.¡±


    She shrugged. ¡°Well...I am. I guess. I mean, we¡¯re friends.¡±


    ¡°Friends,¡± I repeated in a dry tone as I lifted my eyebrows to stare right back at her.


    The damn woman laughed at my irritation. ¡°Well, you¡¯re awfully close to Zoey,¡± she reminded me.


    ¡°And you know exactly why,¡± I bit out, loathing this conversation the more it played out.


    With a nod, she smiled. ¡°I do. You think of her as a sister. Well...the same holds true for me and Asher, I guess.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t stop a snort of disbelief from blurting out. ¡°You think of him as a brother?¡± When she nodded, I cocked her a look, totally not buying it. ¡°So you don¡¯t find him attractive at all.¡±


    ¡°Oh God, yes. Asher¡¯s freaking gorgeous.¡±


    ¡°Gorgeous?¡± I wasn¡¯t expecting her to use quite that strong of a word. ¡°That pencil-thin stick of a musician?¡±


    Her fingers trailed up my jawline, distracting me. ¡°Mmm. He has a very arresting face.¡±


    I lowered my nose and rubbed it along hers. ¡°But you like my face better.¡±


    It was a question even though I worded it as a statement. Caroline¡¯s grin spread. ¡°What do you think? It was your room I snuck into so I could be with you, not his.¡±


    Hearing her say that made me feel better. But I caught her hand to keep it from distracting me. ¡°I think I¡¯m fucking confused. He¡¯s the one with the gorgeous body, the arresting face, the perfect voice and awesome attitude. I¡¯m an asshole. So, why was it my room you chose?¡±


    Her hand broke free of my grip to slide into my hair, and the other followed until she¡¯d caged my face in her palms. ¡°Because you¡¯re the one I want.¡±


    I loved hearing that. God, how I loved hearing that. But as she leaned up to kiss me, I caught her again, stopping her.


    ¡°But why?¡± She could do so much better than a fucked-up jackwad like me. ¡°Why me?¡±


    She paused when she realized I was serious. Her gaze softened and her lips tipped up into the most beautiful smile. ¡°Do you remember the day we met?¡±


    It was seared into my brain forever, so I nodded. ¡°Yeah.¡±


    ¡°You went out and bought us all breakfast,¡± she started.


    I¡¯d been starving. As soon as I¡¯d gotten off work the night before that, Gamble had gotten his distress call from home. He¡¯d needed to borrow my truck, since he didn¡¯t have any wheels at the time. I¡¯d been worried about him, so I¡¯d gone along for the ride. We drove all night to get to her and Colton and Brandt. I¡¯d needed food before I passed out, and no way was I going to eat something from that nasty place, so I¡¯d taken the two young brothers over to a nearby McDonalds and gotten everyone breakfast while Noel had taken care of Caroline, because her abortion had left her so sick.


    Caroline drew in a breath. ¡°While the boys and I ate on the couch, you and Noel went outside to talk, but the window was open, so I heard almost everything you said.¡±


    I winced, trying to remember that conversation with Gam. ¡°What¡¯d I say?¡±


    She smiled fondly. ¡°Well, first you cracked some kind of joke about karma-sutra, or something like that.¡±


    I chuckled softly. ¡°Okay, yeah. I remember something like that.¡±


    ¡°And then you started teasing him about how...how hot you thought I was.¡±


    Groaning, I tipped my head back and closed my eyes. ¡°Oh, damn. I did, didn¡¯t I? Sorry about that.¡±


    ¡°No, I liked it. I liked how you could tease him, how you were trying to get him out of his funk after the shock he¡¯d just come home to.¡± Her smile smoothed out into an expression of supreme appreciation. ¡°But then you got serious with him and made him talk out his problems. When he told you he wanted to just bring us all back home with him, you encouraged it. It didn¡¯t matter that doing so meant three more people would suddenly be living in the apartment you shared with him and you¡¯d mostly likely have to find somewhere else to live. You didn¡¯t even pause to think it through. You just...supported him, and I don¡¯t know if he would¡¯ve gone through with what he did for us if you hadn¡¯t been there to tell him he should. I just...¡± She shook her head, gazing at me as if I was something special. It made my chest feel all tight and strange. ¡°I remember thinking I wished I had a friend like Oren Tenning.¡±

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    Unease flooded me. Yeah, I was some friend. I lied to Gamble¡¯s face every time I saw him these days.


    Caroline seemed to think I was honorable, though. She beamed up at me. ¡°Every time you were around after that, the room just got...brighter. You were always this upbeat ray of optimism. Even when you were trying to be polite to me at the beginning, you¡¯d have something funny to say, something a little off color, a little naughty, but always, always entertaining. I craved the times you¡¯d come around. I swear, you got me out of my depression more than anyone. Laughter is a lot more healing than you¡¯d think.¡±


    A strange memory caught me off guard at her words. Caroline saw the change in my face, and tipped her head to the side. ¡°What?¡±


    I started to wave her off and tell her it was nothing, but then, I don¡¯t know...I stopped myself. ¡°You know that game you play as a kid where you make funny faces at someone to see who¡¯ll laugh first?¡±


    She grinned. ¡°Yeah. Noel and I used to play it, and then Brandt and I did after he left.¡±


    I nodded. ¡°I was just remembering...what you said reminded me for some strange reason...¡±


    ¡°Of what?¡± she prodded.


    I shook my head, but then I went and confessed, ¡°Zoey and I used to do that too, except we used words. You know, whoever said the funniest thing to make the other person laugh first, won.¡±


    It seemed to take her a moment to realize which Zoey I was talking about. Then her lips parted and eyes flared. ¡°Let me guess. You won every time.¡±


    I gave a quiet laugh. ¡°No, actually she did. My sister was so fucking hilarious. She always knew how to do or say just the right thing to make me smile whenever I was upset. I just...I guess I felt honored to hear I¡¯d done that for you. Like some part of her is still here, living through me.¡±


    ¡°Oren?¡± Caroline murmured softly. She touched my face and I looked at her.


    ¡°I gotta get back to work,¡± I said.


    She nodded but whispered, ¡°Thank you for telling me that.¡±


    I cleared my throat and tipped my face down to hers. ¡°Yeah, well...thanks for telling me why I¡¯m so much better than Hart.¡± When I winked, she groaned and rolled her eyes. I pressed my mouth to hers just as the office door swung open.


    We leapt apart, but it was too late. We were already exposed. Expecting to find Gamble hovering in the doorway, I blinked when I saw Pick instead.


    ¡°What the fuck are you doing here?¡± I blurted out.


    He glanced from me to Caroline and then back to me. ¡°It¡¯s my office,¡± he finally said, his voice mild, but his eyes narrowing with displeasure.


    ¡°But it¡¯s midnight,¡± I argued without meaning to. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you be tucked in bed with your little family right now?¡±


    ¡°Hmm.¡± Pick glanced between us again. Caroline grew more uncomfortable, crossing her arms over her chest and kicking at the toe of her pumps. I shifted slightly to block his view of her.


    ¡°Yes, I really should be in bed, wrapped around my gorgeous woman right now, but some unfinished paperwork I left here was making me toss and turn, so Tink kicked me out and told me not to come back until I¡¯d taken care of it.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± Well, that explained that. I blew out a breath, glanced at Caroline, and turned back to Pick as I clapped my hands. ¡°I guess we¡¯ll get out of your hair and let you get to it, then.¡±


    I stepped aside and motioned Caroline toward the door. She lurched into action, only to pause when she reached Pick still standing in the doorway.


    He sent her a warm smile and stepped aside. ¡°Caroline. You look lovely this evening.¡±


    She bowed her head and mumbled, ¡°Thank you.¡±


    Patting her arm as she passed, he said, ¡°Have a good night.¡±


    I started to follow her, but my fucking boss stepped into my way, blocking the exit. Then he moved toward me, forcing me to back pedal. Once he was fully in the room, he shut the door behind him and glared into my face.


    ¡°Are you out of your fucking mind?¡± he growled.


    I merely stared back, my eyes daring him to do whatever he was going to do: run to Gamble and tell him everything, beat my ass, lecture me, whatever. I was ready.


    ¡°You stupid fucker. I knew you wouldn¡¯t be able to stay away from her forever, but Jesus, Noel is just down the hall. And this is my office, man. My office. You probably did it on the couch too, didn¡¯t you? That was Tink¡¯s and my special couch. You¡¯ve ruined our special couch.¡±


    ¡°It is pretty damn comfy,¡± I had to admit.


    Pick growled and gave me a little shove, offsetting my balance until I stumbled a step back. ¡°Don¡¯t piss me off more than I¡¯m already pissed off. I don¡¯t appreciate coming in here and finding an employee, getting it on while he¡¯s working and stabbing one of my very good friends in the back in the process.¡±