《A Truly Bizarre Collection of Flash Fiction》 1. Forgetful ¡°Don¡¯t worry; you won¡¯t remember by morning¡­¡± Ryan said, leaning back in his chair and folding his hands in his lap. ¡°That¡¯s it?¡± the therapist asked. Ryan nodded slowly. ¡°I told you. I really can¡¯t remember what happened that night,¡± he said, sighing as he sat forward. ¡°And yet, it still traumatizes you?¡± the therapist asked. Ryan stood up, walked around the chair, then turned back to his therapist. ¡°You wake up in the hospital, suffering from a head injury, and the last thing you remember are those words. Who wouldn¡¯t be traumatized?¡± he asked, obviously tired of the session already.Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit. His therapist nodded. ¡°Yes, yes, I see. You really can¡¯t remember anything at all? Nothing else?¡± ¡°Are you really sure that you are a therapist?¡± Ryan asked, cocking his head. ¡°You saw my license. Has doubt and distrust been a common issue lately?¡± the therapist asked. ¡°Only since I walked into this room¡­ May I see that license again?¡± Ryan replied, sitting down in the chair. The therapist nodded, but didn¡¯t make eye contact with him. She looked over his head. ¡°Don¡¯t worry; you won¡¯t remember by morning,¡± the therapist said. Ryan¡¯s eyes widened, and he turned his head. He awoke in a hospital bed, feeling as though he¡¯d done this before. 2. Flirting With Dragons "What are you doing now?" "Looking for skid marks." "Skid marks?" "Yeah, from that bus you threw me under." ¡°It was one time!¡± ¡°You left me to be roasted. What? Thought I was going to flirt with the beast?¡± ¡°Nah, I knew you could handle it.¡±If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it. ¡°The look you have on your face tells me otherwise.¡± ¡°Alright, alright. I got scared and ran. Is that what you want to hear?¡± ¡°Nope.¡± ¡°Then what do you want me to do?¡± ¡°Next time we run into a dragon, you get to be its supper.¡± ¡°Oh, no no no, that¡¯s suicide.¡± ¡°Aye.¡± ¡°No, absolutely not.¡± ¡°Hello¡­ human. Come closer.¡± ¡°How? how does he manage to do this?¡± ¡°Yes, that¡¯s it. Closer.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not your supper. I promise, I don¡¯t even taste good. Too much iron in the blood, you wouldn¡¯t understand.¡± ¡°I can smell your blood¡­ Oh, how delightful will your crispy skin be!¡± ¡°Aaaaah!¡± 3. Snazzits demise Her face was painted gold, her eyes as hard and dark as coal. ¡°What¡­ What have ye done?!¡± Barmod shouted, motioning to his poor girlfriend. ¡°I¡­ um¡­ I can explain,¡± Snazzit said sheepishly, slowly walking away. If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. ¡°Then start explainin¡¯! Or ye¡¯ll have me axe in yer noggin!¡± Barmod growled, walking towards Snazzit. ¡°Well, I thought she was you¡­ because, well, haven¡¯t you noticed? You can¡¯t tell the dwarven women from the dwarven men!¡± Snazzit exclaimed. ¡°And ya think tha¡¯s gonna stop me from killin¡¯ ya?¡± Barmod growled, chasing after Snazzit. There were soon screams in the distance. 4. Choices, Choices, Choices He heard voices all around him as members of the council consulted in low tones with each other. Sighing, he stood up, straightening his tie and readjusting his glasses. He leaned forward over the table, putting weight down on his fists as his frustration grew by the second. ¡°Quiet down or a decision might never be made,¡± he said over the other council members. ¡°My king, I believe that we cannot come to a decision about such an action. It would be fatal to the kingdom. Is there not any other choice?¡± his First Advisor asked, rising from his seat. The king sadly shook his head. ¡°If there is one other choice, it is far from this world,¡± he said.If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. ¡°Ah, but there is one other choice,¡± a third man rose from his seat, then jumped up onto the table, ¡°you could forfeit the crown to me.¡± This man pulled a small gun from his pocket, pointing it towards the king. Every person stood still and silent, fearing that if they moved or spoke that it would be the end of their king. ¡°Lien, what are you doing?¡± the king asked, eyes wide and focused on the weapon. ¡°Ending the reign of the Pendragons,¡± Lien said, pulling the trigger. A loud banging sound echoed through the room as a golden light emitted from the barrel of the gun for a split second. Moments later, the king laid in nothing more than a pile of ash. Lien smiled as he suddenly felt like he just became the most powerful man in the kingdom. ¡°I will lead you into a new era!¡± he shouted seconds before his own death. 5. My New Friends ¡°How many times do I have to get shot before you¡¯re happy?¡± Daniel asked, leaning against a stone wall. He held a second shot wound, one that barely missed his heart. ¡°It¡¯s not my fault that you were the one to get shot,¡± his partner said, holding a gun in his right hand. ¡°They weren¡¯t supposed to know that we were meeting up there.¡± ¡°Frederick, look, you told me that you were buying me lunch, not meeting up with this gang of yours that I never even knew existed!¡± Daniel whispered sternly with exaggerated hand movement, which he quickly regretted as pain shot through his shoulder. ¡°I thought you¡¯d like the guys,¡± Frederick argued. This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it The two turned their heads to look down the dark alley as several guys dressed in red leathers ran towards them. ¡°Just get me out of here,¡± Daniel growled. Frederick reacted instantly, pulling Daniel behind some boxes. He then aimed his gun toward the approaching men, quickly firing some shots. ¡°Swell idea, cardboard boxes are totally going to save us from bullets,¡± Daniel grumbled, grimacing in pain. Black blotches began to dot his vision, and he toppled over, unable to keep consciousness. Daniel awoke to a lot of whispering, feeling dizzy and disorientated. He could make out the words just as his vision focused. ¡°That other bloke, though¡­ he didn¡¯t make it through the night,¡± he heard a man¡¯s voice coming from the opposite end of the room. Daniel lifted his head ever so slightly, seeing a man dressed in red leathers. ¡°Frederick¡­?¡± Daniel whispered. ¡°Is dead,¡± the man in red leathers said, obviously resisting a smile. 6. Moonlight Casualty He tried to breathe, but the air wouldn¡¯t come. Something must be wrong. He turned, finding that his lifeline had been severed. Time seemed to slow, seconds becoming minutes, and minutes becoming hours. He looked up into the darkness of the sky, the stars going out. That¡¯s not right, he thought, his bodying tilting backward. He slowly fell to the sandy surface of the moon. Not only had his lifeline been severed, but his ship flew off without him, all of his mates aboard it. He then watched as the ship imploded, next exploding, bits and pieces of the spaceship shot in all directions. This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. This¡­ This is it¡­ We never knew¡­ he thought, closing his eyes, never knew. As he faded away, he heard the sound of the passing ships, big ships. Big, and far more advanced. He always dreamed of being the first man on the moon, but never thought that he¡¯d be the first casualty on the moon. 7. Untold Power Dear Diary, Day 1 Today did not go as expected. The drop happened and I have the item. Of course, my money purse is looking a bit sparse now, and I¡¯m unsure of what to do with the item for the time being, but supposedly it has untold power... Dear Diary, Day 30 The item... it has hatched. I now have what must be ¡°untold power¡± in the form of a lizard. Aside from tearing apart the eraser on my pencil as I am writing this, I¡¯m starting to rethink the meaning of ¡°untold power¡±. Perhaps it is untold because there isn¡¯t much to tell? Dear Diary, Day 90Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon. I am growing increasingly concerned. I started with one lizard, which by the way now has wings and flutters around annoyingly, but now I have probably around... 50 lizards. It would seem that my lizard was female and had somehow attracted a mate. She laid a lot of eggs, and... they¡¯ve eaten all the padding in my couch. I¡¯m starting to realize that their power may come from the sheer strength in numbers. Dear Diary, Day 300 HELP. The couch is long gone, so is all the furniture, and my house is on fire! The mother lizards have formed a protective band over their babies and are nesting in my basement, and the daddy lizards have gone to multiply and replenish the earth. It is the lizard apocalypse as we know it! Dear Diary, Day 700 Still alive. Edit: Lizards are dragons. I don¡¯t know if anyone will find this, but if you do... just please don¡¯t. Dear Diary, Day 1200 I have formed a mighty tribe of cave dwellers. We love our caves. The caves are safe. We shall raise our babies here. 8. Not All Heroes Wear Capes I had one task: Put the voting ballots in the mailbox. It was a normal Monday afternoon. The week had barely begun, and I was doing what I was supposed to be... perusing the online marketpl©¥ahem, I mean, school. Anywho, I heard a clank, thump, and a, ¡°Get out of town, you honky-tonked *****!¡± from the ol¡¯ cowboy insult button outside of my bedroom window (let it be known, it goes off anytime someone steps on the porch, and I can¡¯t seem to find the darned thing). Then the dog barked. Obviously, someone was at the door. Hopping out of my seat (not a short joke, I hop, okay?), I slipped on my slides, and went to the door. Through the pair of french doors, I saw a set of packages, then looked up and practically felt my heart leap right out of my chest. A horrid feeling if you¡¯ve ever had the experience. The mailman was already at the mailbox two hours ahead of schedule! I turned, and made three (ten) long strides to the dining room table, grabbed the stack of ballots, and rushed to the door. I swung that door open, and closed it on my doggy¡¯s nosy nose! Poor dear. It¡¯s a good thing her pain tolerance is, well... What do you call a dog that doesn¡¯t feel pain? Either way, she¡¯s okay, y¡¯all. Once the door was closed, I paused at the edge of the deck. Before me was a lake (a puddle). But clearly, I had to make the ultimate sacrifice for my one task. I leaped as far across the lake as I possibly could (hardly getting a drop of water on me) and raced down the driveway! Next I knew, I was flying down the street after the mailman, and this man was a professional. At the next mailbox, he stopped briefly. Boom! Done. Next. Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. You gotta be kidding me, I thought, I¡¯m never gonna catch this guy. But that didn¡¯t discourage me. If anything, I ran faster. So fast, I thought my (little) legs were gonna run right out from under me! Just as the mailman rounded the corner, a rickety old black car came around, slowed, and stopped. They stared. Not sure what they were doing, but they stared. After a second (as if I could see the lightbulb go off over the vehicle), they put their car in reverse, and went back around the corner! As I came around, I saw them expertly back all the way up, then swing in front of the mailman at the final mailbox in the intersection. Yes! I was gonna make it! I rounded the mail truck, came to a lovely full bearded mailman, and breathlessly handed him the ballots. ¡°Thanks,¡± I wheezed, backed away, and waved thanks to my hero of the day. My legs felt like jello. The walk home was unpleasant. At the very least I accomplished my one©¥wait a second... My one task was to put the ballots in the mailbox... Whoops.