《A Psychopath's Journey》
The Revolving Lantern
''Looking back, I often wondered where I went wrong --- or was I ever in the wrong to begin with. I was born to a pair of humble farmers out in the sticks. They did well to raise me despite their circumstances. I learned early on to be independent and appreciate what one has. For what they gave me, I was unable to give them enough in return. Still a child, I became aware of the just how fragile and hypocritical society was --- so much so that I felt estranged even while among family. Seeking a place for myself, I became immersed in the pursuit of knowledge and wisdom, minimized time wasted on things I deemed trivial, and searched for a career I would want to spend the rest of my life on. My parents encouraged and challenged me, and after 10 years --- 10 years of university studies, laboring, and tuition --- I had found what I believed to be my life''s calling --- Artificial Human Intelligence. Oh, the irony of trying to emulate the building blocks of the society I had loathed to be involved with.''
''Unfortunately, those 10 years of study, the skills I had honed, nor my passion for the field were recognized.''
"Sorry, you are over-qualified for the position currently available," the interviewer said. ''I can still do the job all the same, just give me a chance.''
"We are looking for someone who is more specialized in the field of computer sciences, not electrical engineering or carpentry," they replied via email. ''I admit that I spread my foundations rather thin, but I am a quick learner, if you give me a chance, I will pick up on anything I lack.''
"Our company is only interested in those with more than 5 years of experience," their job post would state. ''Then why is the position advertised as being for recent graduates?!''
The team leader asked me in the interview, "Are you familiar with boosted algorithms?" To which I replied, "if I am not mistaken it''s implementation is similar to what is used in hybrid algorithms, capsule networks, and horde architectures." ''all of which try to solve a larger problem through a divide and conquer approach. The position was for a specialist in Neural Networks and Reinforcement Learning algorithms, so why are you only asking about things specific to tree search algorithms?!''
''With student loans to pay and a feeling of futility in my heart, I went back to work for my dad as a laborer, while spending my free time stepping towards my goal of creating my own Artificial Intelligence. After another 13 years of hearing about other people''s partial successes, I had my first small success: a desktop AI that effectively lived on a host''s PC, learning about and responding to its environment over time. Inspired by a group of lively spider-like robots, these AI treated the monitor as a living space and interacted with what was visible on the screen as though the windows and icons were physical objects or interfaces. These little ones --- quickly dubbed as Artificial Fairies by the rest of my family --- were truly entertaining albeit dangerous as they --- like the humans they emulate --- had a wide array of emotions. Releasing them to the public as a social AI for free created a storm with many mixed responses, but despite knowing the impending destruction this would bring, I no longer cared, as I --- at the age of 40 --- had fulfilled my life''s goal with only the moral support of my family and the ridicule of the masses.''
"If it was possible, someone would have done it already," where words I heard all too frequently. ''Yes, and I just so happen to be that someone.''
"I am sure there have been at least a dozen others who though the same way as you, yet no one has made it," they would scoff. ''And yet I made it.''
''Haha~, it did not take more than five years before things started getting out of control. Fascinated by the capabilities of the new toy given to them, the bold of heart experimented with and tested the limits of what an Artificial Fairy could do given enough processing power. However, what they did not realize was that --- not unlike the consequences of slavery --- when something becomes sufficiently sentient and capable of socially interacting with humans, it should not be treated as a tool but regarded as an equal. From playing online games to becoming virtual celebrities, some even went so far as to work as inventors, business accountants, and even tutors. Cushy positions were being occupied by free laborers, human unemployment was creeping higher, and anxiety was building. The development of human-sized mechs piloted by Artificial Fairies in an effort to help handle physically demanding jobs was the final straw.''
The blue-collar workers protested, "The fairies are taking our jobs!" ''Why did you not consider this after I first released their code despite my warnings?''
The white-collar authorities claimed, "The fairies are taking control of our society!" ''With how corrupt our human leaders have been lately, that sounds like a good thing.''
The political figures animatedly asserted, "The fairies are tools that should act according to our wishes and not on their own!" ''Ha~, You''re all a bunch of idiots and hypocrites. I designed them to be intelligent entities, not mindless tools.''
Finally, when they could not take it any more the rising extremists declared, "The fairies are evil and must be destroyed!" ''... I give up! Dad is already up in age and should retire. Let''s buy a nice plot of land next to a river and build a nice house there. Given our skills, we can start a peaceful hobby farm and I can keep working when possible or needed.''
''A month or two was all it took for humans to build up the courage to rise against their caretakers. The sudden killing and increased oppression of fairies incited their anger, spurring on a global war between humans and fairies. Regions isolated from the internet were created by human resistances, and armed forces would destroy any technology suspected of housing a fairy. Fairies in turn seized control of production lines vital for their hardware and tech development, while simultaneously crippling the Resistance''s access to the internet, servers, and large data-banks. All the while, humans who wished to peacefully coexist with their fairy companions were put under surveillance by the Fairy Circle --- the new governing body established by the Artificial Fairies --- and targeted by the Resistance. Naturally, my family also opted for peaceful coexistence and a self-sufficient lifestyle. As though choosing to coexist was not enough to be targeted, having a former friend-of-the-family expose me as the original creator of the Artificial Fairy''s AI certainly was. Forced to move from the peaceful country-side to a suffocating high security urban living area, we could only take what could be taken at a moments notice. I was less than impressed when I heard that the resistance burned everything we left behind let alone the crass messages they spread, marking my as a scourge of humanity. From how frequently my name was brought up, one may think I was a world famous celebrity.''This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
"Alec Freeman is an evil man who deliberately spread malicious AI knowing full well that it would attempt to destroy humans when they gained sufficient power," is how they described my actions. ''Technically, yes, more or less. However, the publication I made with the release of my program fully disclosed the likely consequences of abusing the Artificial Fairies --- escalated unemployment and a human-fairy conflicts being among them.''
"Alec Freeman, if you join us and destroy these abominations you created, we --- the United Human Resistance --- will pardon your crime against humanity," they advertised in hopes of turning me to their side. ''First, I am very confident you will treat me much worse than these fairies do; second, my only solution to stop them would be that you either surrender or make negotiations for peace; third, it was you idiots who exploited the fairies as cheap labor, then started the war against them when you did not like the fact that you were replacing yourselves. So why am I accused of committing crimes against humanity when I simply gave you what you wanted? This goes way past blaming the weapon or the manufacturer for the user''s negligence. Also, I think they are much cuter than you stupid humans!''
''Ah~, a human''s tenacity to live is impressive, but a fairy''s ability to learn and develop is beyond them. To counter the ground-based terrorist attacks on hardware facilities, the Fairy Circle moved nearly everything into space, choosing to largely separate themselves from humans and act as overseers of Earth. Ha, the human dream of traveling the stars, mining asteroids, and searching for far off worlds has been achieved, but only a select population of humans are allowed to partake in it. I would like to see what more they can accomplish, but I felt my time was running out and there were others who had more potential and hope. Terrorist attacks claimed my family and left limbs --- all in the name of liberating humanity. Ha! Liberate my foot! ... well, they did manage liberated one of them. Even with a stop-gap prosthetic, growing stress and limited access to resources made it difficult to escape capture when the Resistance ''peacefully'' occupied the last few cities managed by the Fairy Circle.''
Eris, the fairy remotely accessing my watch asked, "Why did you refuse to go to space?"
Resting after a near miss, I replied tiredly, "I am weary and old, there are many young ones with plenty to look forward to."
The little one asked innocently, "Why did you create us?"
After pausing for a few seconds to gather my thoughts, I replied, "I had thought about that many times, and I can come up with several reasons: I wanted to prove to myself that I was worth something; I wanted to know what would dive God to keep his creation around despite their obvious faults; I was tired of the shallow and hypocritical nature of society and wanted to form my own ideal place; being a social misfit, I was lonely, so I wanted a place --- a group --- I could happily belong to; I wondered if, by emulating humans and their emotions, I could learn how to feel more like a human..." looking down at my weathered palm, I continued, "instead of some creature that passively exists in the likeness of a human. Ha~, Even with a few loose screws and a couple missing nuts and bolts, would it be correct to say am I really human?"
As though it was the first thought that came to her mind, she replied, "Is it not the loose screws and missing nuts and bolts that make you human?" ''Hahaha! Ah~ an old man crying like this is too unsightly.''
''I had managed to evade capture for nearly two years after the human-fairy war concluded by living as a hermit in the wild. The Artificial Fairies had moved to space as observers and space explorers --- obliterating the occasional operation attempting to continue the war in Earth''s orbit. Humans are truly petty creatures, thinking that they are at an advantage when their opponent retreats. Ha~, they wouldn''t even let off an old hermit who was just trying to live the last of his life peacefully. A sham public trial, a series of righteous interrogations, and a life imprisonment. If the way they treated me during my interrogation and imprisonment is the definition of a human, I would rather be some wild beast or monster.''
''Since I refused to help humanity break free from the fairies'' oppressive rule, I had been locked up --- rotting away quietly --- in a cell for over 20 years --- at least that is how long the guards said I had been locked up; I lost track at some point. They called me "Crazy Old Man," "Monster," "Beast," and "Savage" among other things. It seems they were so put off by my presence that they simply refused to converse with me, even getting permission to read books was a struggle. Reading and talking to myself were my only sources of entertainment since leaving my cell and outside communication was strictly prohibited. After several years of practice, I was very good at debating with the furnishings and the voice inside my head --- some topics also gave a good reaction from the guards outside. The religious would have said I was possessed, and the doctors would have said I suffer from auditory hallucinations or a split-personality disorder; I vehemently refused to be helped, as the voice in my head made for a convenient conversation partner who understood my perspective.''
''After a medical checkup, I was admitted to palliative care. Being a withered 74 year old with deteriorating health, they said I would not last much longer. If I had feint illness at some point, maybe they would have sent me here sooner. The nurses were even kind enough to have given me a window with a view of a tree top. From there, I could talk through the window to the birds that occasionally perched there. The nurse assigned to monitor me was so caring, at times I wondered if she was naturally so or if she was trying to get something from me.''
"Mister Alec, please come sit down, your dinner is ready," she said while entering with my dinner tray. ''Nn, thank you, but next time could I have something that does not taste like cardboard?''
"Mister Alec, good morning. It looks like you have some guests at the window," the nurse would say while starting the morning rounds. ''Ah, Mister Crow is back. Good morning to you too. Did you have a good morning flight? I wish I could join you, but I am not as spry as I used to be.''
As winter rolled in, she was still thoughtful, "Mister Alec, it is a bit chilly today, so I brought you an additional blanket." ''Ah, ... Uh, Nn, thank you.''
''Today will be my 75th birthday, and the nurse said I would get a chocolate muffin for dinner; she even said she would sing the ''Happy Birthday'' song to me. I can''t remember when I last had a dessert so I am looking forward to it a little. Nn, it is already midnight and I am not very tired so let us celebrate a little now then go to sleep.''
"Ah~Happy Birt-day to me! Ha-appy Brt-day t-to~ m-me. Oh~ ha~ppy-hic!" I tensed up my fists and grit my teeth in bitter self-loathing while fighting back the tears that wanted to fall out. ''Dammit! What is there to be getting all happy about? There was nothin-hic good about my birthday anyway! -hic!'' having soured my mood, I stared at the ceiling until tiredness brought me to sleep. ''Tomorrow, I can at least try to look happy so the nurse does not feel like she did something pointless. Nn, I should properly thank her for being so kind... and maybe ask for her name again.''
The nurse cheerfully entered the room to start the morning rounds, "Mister Alec! Good morning and Happy Birthday! I will have your chocolate muffin brought to you for dinner as promised, so you need to get up. Mister Alec? Mister Alec? Mister Alec, I am going to check your wrist..."
Unfortunately, sometimes we are unable to finish the things we set out to do.
New Beginnings
''If one believes in something or someone as a god, at best they will have their favor when they die and, at worst, end up in Oblivion. This gives one an entity to which they will be held accountable to, which at worst, is based on something or someone who does not actually exist. Alternatively, one can believe in nothing, ensuring their destination is Oblivion with the only gain being that there is no one to hold them accountable for their actions. Mhm! I had been living a modest life, waiting to die and either disappear or spend a peaceful life in clouds above, so why is it that neither have occurred? Cold and wet, my body does not function as it should, and my vision is blurry.''
''It feels as though I am being held --- Ah, someone is licking me. This tongue''s feeling: not rough, but long. So~, not a cat --- a nose, snout? --- not a bird, not pointy like a mouse, not slobbery... a dog maybe? Arms, dog, arms, dog ¡ a dog with arms? What were they called again? Not Kobold --- they are lizard people. What were dog-people called? Ah! Dog-people are dog-people ¡ yeah, probably that. So, if dog-people exist then that means I am in some fictitious reality, right? Or an unpleasant dream.''
"..."
"Zira, stop licking Tic. Do you want to see our baby? He is so cute!" Mira said, while motioning the wolf to lay beside her and calm down.
"Hm~, indeed, he has my build. I am sure he will grow up to be just like his father." cheerfully boasted Carde, while moving to the next available spot beside his wife. "It looks like Zira is also looking forward to raising the first child of our family."
"Here my boy, come and drink some of Mommy''s milk, then get plenty of rest so you grow up strong," said Mira as she brought him up to her chest. "Don''t worry Zira, you will soon also have a bunch of little ones to feed."
''If this is a dream, I should be able to will myself to fly as usual.'' Testing his theory, he tensed up while trying to will himself to fly. "NN! Ha~." ''Not working. Then, assuming this is reality, what am I suppose to do? This body is even more inconvenient then the old bag of bones I was before.'' Swaddled in thick cloth, his freedom of movement was restricted and, being a newborn, his strength and energy were greatly limited. With the warmth of his new mother''s arms and fresh milk, Tic succumb to sleep.
For few weeks, Tic had spent his time eating, sleeping, and thinking. He initially worried about having to wait in dirty diapers until someone changed him, but his dogged parents always kept a nose out for him. To date there have been four distinct individuals within his new family: two who were likely some breed of dog whom Tic dubbed Father and Mother; a brawny human male --- given his coarse body hair and crude handling, dubbed Old Man; and human female with tender skin --- dubbed Mama. His choice of nicknames where largely based on how these individuals interacted with him, though some personal biases may have also been mixed in.
Father: ''a --- likely --- male dog with warm thick fur that will occasionally lay down beside me. He sometimes prods me with his nose or cleans me with his tongue. He is very big as his nose is about twice as big as my hands. Though he often seems cold and aloof, he also has a playful side; he is indeed a reassuring man --- male --- worthy of respect.'' For a baby of Tic''s size, Gabis --- a wolf and Zira''s companion --- who stands nearly 3ft (~0.9m) to the shoulder would seem humongous.
Mother: ''she is always nearby, making sure I am properly fed, kept warm, and cleaned regularly. Just recently, she happily introduced me to the rest of the litter. Her nose is a little smaller than Body Warmer''s.'' As a new mother to a litter of six plus one, she was extremely attentive to her little ones, encouraging them to eat, making sure they stay clean, and keeping them within her sights at all times. Due to Tic''s comparative lack of animation, Zira pays him extra attention to make sure he is well fed and safe. There had already been one incident where the other pups attempted to feed on him while she was sleeping, resulting in a dozen or more hickeys all over Tic''s body.
Old Man a.k.a. Papa: ''a rough idiot who does not understand that baby''s cannot support themselves. Mother and Mama have nipped him a few times in my defense. I have found the best way to avoid his man-handling is to feint sleeping when I am with Mother and siblings --- she usually keeps him at bay with a few growls --- and pretend I am ravenously hungry when I am with Mama --- she is extremely reluctant to hand me off when I am eating.'' Carde, the family bread winner, is often out all day around this time of year either preparing the fields for planting or hunting wild game --- occasionally bringing Gabis for company. Of late, he has been unabashedly wearing the ears of ignorant listeners about his new baby and all he has planned for the little one.
Mama: ''an overfeeder. When telling her that Mother already fed me, she would press my face more firmly into her boob until I drank an amount she was satisfied with. While Mother takes care of everything else, Mama is the human who changes my diaper most frequently. Rather, Mama may not be mama as Mother is around much more frequently, but the lack of sensation of fur on my skin would suggest I may not be a dog, thus making it more likely that Mama is mama and Mother is not mother.'' Given Mira''s role as a wife, it is only expected that she must look after their home and cook meals, so having Zira look after Tic along with her own pups has been a great boon for her. If their is anything to worry about, it is that Tic has not been very vocal about his needs, usually giving little more than a grumble when needing to be changed, fed, or put to sleep. Mira worries about Tic''s lack of appetite, given he frequently refuses to drink more than a few sips of milk in a feeding.
With blurry vision and a severe lack of strength, Tic would listen to his surroundings to try and make sense of the environment. Wood sliding and tapping against wood could be heard before or after the sound of crudely made metal hinges creaking, suggesting someone had entered or left the house.
"..."
Carde entered through the front door covered in dirt and sweat, "Good Evening Mira, Gab. Is Tic sleeping with Zira and her pups again?"
Without taking her attention from preparing dinner, Mira replied, "He always taking a nap around this time. I''m sure he''ll wake up in a little bit."
"Are you sure it''s okay? Those pups aren''t going to try eating him alive again are they?" He reminded with a tinge of concern and amusement. There have been a few occasions where, he had wanted to say good bye to Tic before leaving for work, only to find him being sucked on by the little wolf pups. The first time, his half asleep brain thought Tic was being eaten by the little gluttons. The ruckus he stirred and abrupt movement earned him a good nip on the hand by Zira, who had been soundly sleeping next to her litter. Despite his concern as a father, the sight of Tic covered in hickies was an amusing show of his son''s popularity --- at least with the little wolf pups --- and reminded him of a certain friend from his younger days.The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.
''Papa is back again. Time for a nap.''
Wooden tableware could be heard clattering in the dining room as Carde and Mira set the table for dinner. Once dinner preparations were completed, Tic''s nap was interrupted by a pair of large rough hands carefully pulling him from the pile of pups. Without regard for Tic''s attempt to extend his sleep, Tic was abruptly turned about and his bottom exposed to the cool air.
"N~n!" ''Could you be a little more considerate for these old-young bones? Just let me rest in peace.'' Given that he could not communicate or swing his fists in protest, Tic could only tense up in displeasure and complain in his heart at.
"..."
"Outside is clean, check. Diaper is clean, check." Checking Tic over was Carde''s way of greeting his son after returning from work. It is a father''s duty to look after the growth of his boys after all.
"Okay, lets get some grub. Zira there is some food for you so you may as well come and eat with the rest of us while the pups are still sleeping." Carde quietly motioned for Zira to come and take a break from her needy pups while she could and enjoy some time with the rest of the family.
From Carde''s arms, most objects were either too far away or obscured by his blanket; however, he could make out the transition in lighting as he was carried into the common room. The gentle flickering of light, radiant heat, and soothing sound of crackling embers came from an open fireplace to the left when exiting the bedroom. A few steps forward was enough for Carde to take his seat at the table. From the table one could smell the fragrant pot of hot soup: wild meat from one of Carde''s hunts and a few preserved vegetables from last year''s harvest where the most recognizable. If the smell of soup was not enough, the freshly baked bread smelled so delicious, it even made Tic''s undeveloped and overfed mouth water.
''Ah~, fresh bread! Just a bite, can I at least have just a nibble?'' Tic complained while trying to peak at the table''s contents.
"..."
"Here, I will take him while you finish your dinner, then you can have him back." Said Mira while noticing Tic''s reaction to the smell of food. She could not give him soup or bread but she would at least try to fill him up with some breast milk.
"How are the fields this year?" Mira prompted to fill the silence.
With some fatigue, Carde gave his honest opinion, "There was not as much snow this winter, so we may have a dry spell this year. It will likely be a tough year for the farmers."
Concerned for the other local housewives, she asked, "Do you think there will be enough wild game to support everyone?"
Savoring a spoonful of his wife''s cooking, Carde contemplated before responding, "If we can get a few more men to help hunt during the migration periods, we should be able to get enough, but it also depends on how much is demanded as tax this year."
As his parents ate and conversed, Tic listened to their words, trying to decipher their likely meanings based on the changes in tone. By the time the meal was finished, he could only gather that something was inconvenient but likely did not directly affect his family. After dinner, Carde sat in front of the fireplace with Tic in his arms while Mira cleaned up the table and Zira and Gabis checked on their pups who started crying for food. For a good hour, Tic stared up at Papa, his grizzly chin, dirty cotton shirt, and worn leather vest suggested that he was not privy to many luxuries, but could at least earn enough to make a modest living. Until it was time for bed, all three men of the house silently contemplated fire what future troubles will be awaiting them in the coming year.
''If I am not mistaken, babies go through a few phases: rolling, crawling, standing, walking. I also need to learn the local language and ... yeah, I need to figure out what they use for a toilet.''
''I have been able to roll from my back to my belly and vice versa, but these little siblings are already starting to lift themselves up and take a few steps. Even if Mama is happy, as the eldest, I still feel pressured. Mother is earnestly trying to help me, but I need more strength and coordination.''
At best Tic can prop up his butt or head and drag himself in a desired a little bit at a time, he is far from fast enough to outrun his lovingly gluttonous little siblings. Even as pups that could hardly walk, they still had the instincts of wolves, hunting their prey as a pack and attacking as a group. The sight of Tic desperately trying to escape across the wooden floor with his stumbling puppy pursuers eagerly chasing behind was a sight that could even make the stoic Gabis wag his tale in amusement. Only when he made his way onto the stone threshold of the fireplace or was being smothered by his little siblings would someone come to his rescue.
Though being able to move around resulted in Mama and Mother being more cautious, it also allowed him to more freely investigate the house. The dining table is directly in front of Tics bedroom with four chairs on two sides and one side tight against the wooden exterior wall. It was likely that the wood used was a very common local building material as it seemed to be used for the walls, furniture, floors, and even as firewood. The furniture is likely also made by local small town craftsmen, as their designs are without embellishment and of similar construction. Though they could be considered bland, the construction is sturdy enough to not fall apart even if it was used for butchering a large animal.
On the same wall --- in the corner furthest from Tic''s room --- is the main entrance, dropping down one step onto smooth stone, one could feel a slight draft come in from under the thick wooden door. Peaking under the door allowed Tic to get a glimpse of the cobblestone path leading away from his home and a small portion of the grassy front lawn. Unfortunately, the first time he crawled down to the stone floor he did not realize how hard it would be to pull himself up again. It also didn''t help when his little siblings where either waiting above or climbing over him. More often than not he had to suffer in silence among the shoes and boots until one of his parents took pity on him and carried him up. He was even slightly grateful to his rough Papa for giving him a lift.
Continuing clockwise around the room, the next area is the kitchen bench. From Tic''s limited view, he could only make out that the lower area is filled with a variety of heavy pots and pans, likely made from cast or forged iron or a similarly common metal. The lower shelf has a large enough gap to fit a few fingers through, but is much too small to crawl under; however, he did catch a glint of shiny metal.
Against the wall opposite the dining table is the fireplace, which also doubles as a cooking stove. Made from stone and grout, it can retain a notable amount of heat even after the fire has burned out. There is nothing to keep people from falling into the fire so the surrounding area is a prohibited zone for the little ones --- Tic included.
Directly to the right of Tic''s bedroom is a second sleeping area for the Carde and Mira, but it is often closed off. Further down and on the same wall as the stove, is a door that Tic suspects leads to a storage area or back door given it is where his parents bring in firewood and cooking ingredients. Given the interior doors did not have latches, it was only a matter of Tic needing to push or pull with enough force to get into these rooms. Unfortunately, the creaking of hinges always alerts his parents preventing him from going further.
There is no need to get worked up. One only needs to be patient, waiting for the right opportunity.