《Little Miss Savage [Obsolete Version]》


 Little Miss Savage (Monkey Grotesque)

    "I bring you Sol Yulaan."


    Vicente Xaxalpa pulled a monkey-tailed girl out of a duffel bag. He held her up to his chest for a moment and set her upon a metal table. She balled her fists.


    Standing against the two was one Dr. Golitsyn. "Vicente, I''m going to have to, uh, I''ll have to tell you that this is the strangest thing you''ve ever put on this table."


    The girl''s tail dipped over the edge and wrapped first around the main support leg of the table and then into the bag, and she pulled from it a bone-cast scimitar. The doctor stepped back and raised his eyebrow at the miasma of motion threatening his face.


    "Yulaan," snapped Vicente. "Put the sword down." He slipped his hands into his pockets for a brief moment, then with a hurried gesture pointed at her and said, "Be forceful with her. She doesn''t hear too well."


    Yulaan lowered the scimitar with a huff and dropped it back into the bag where it fell to a dull ''thunk!''


    Dr. Golitsyn slouched in a hearty chum''s laugh and said, "Where did you find her? Or is this one of your cousins?"


    Flatly, Vicente said, "Old Hearst Highway, a week ago. A very flamboyant man, possibly a transman or perhaps not a man at all, I couldn''t say¡ª a feminine male in bright drag came from another universe to give this creature to me. So now I own her. I am allegedly her master. I don''t like hearing that out of my mouth, but those were his statements." He locked eyes with the doctor, his mouth pulled into his dimples.


    To say Golitsyn''s eyes were incredulous would be to insult the concept of incredulity. He pulled his own mouth in and turned his head down as he snickered. "Okay. Sure. What''s the tail made of? It looks really good, almost Hollywood-tier." He stepped forward to feel its texture, and flinched when the appendage lurched away from his hand. "A-also, I get that kids can be wily, but I''m going to need her off the examining table. They''re not actually monkeys, and there could be contaminants that survived the bleaching."


    As he waited for Vicente to respond, Dr. Golitsyn shoved Yulaan to push her off the table. His eyes simultaneously boggled and narrowed as he felt a horrible heaviness and heft as if the wild cosplaying girl had been carved from marble. Involuntarily he set his hand on her flesh again, squeezing her upper arm. Her head nodded towards his hand and then back to his face with careful movements and the hint of some guttural noise from behind her lips.


    "I''m sorry, what''s the occasion?"


    Vicente blinked and rubbed his eyes. "God, I''m sorry. I''m still... dazed, still not really processing all this. What''s that?" As if it had just occurred to him, he slid his Panama hat off his head and set it upon the table beside him. "Oh, no occasion. Just wanted you to check up on her. I was thinking of doing a full check-up because she''s had the absolute gnarliest gastrointestinal issues, but one look at the rest of her body, her limp, her injuries¡ª I figured we''d do a preliminary check-up first and then figure out where to go from there."


    The doctor''s eyes grew glossy and voidlike as he ran his fingers across Yulaan''s leathery pelt. Repeatedly he met Vicente''s gaze and said, "You know I don''t treat people. If this is a genuine emergency. Look, I get humans are primates, but it''s better to go with an actual human doctor."


    Again Vicente set his hands in his pockets. "I quite realize that. And there''s no occasion, good sir, other than this day being exceptionally strange for us both. And to that end, I''ll say that I strongly doubt a human doctor would do any good for our friend here."


    Yulaan curled herself up into a ball on the table and aimed her head towards Golitsyn. Was she looking at him? Where were her eyes? Hidden behind long bangs of hair that reached her cheeks. How did she see? Yet the uncanny vibe Golitsyn felt gave him a need to reassure himself, for he could not rule out the possibility that he''d lift those black bangs and see flesh where this girl''s eyes should have been.


    No, that was silly.


    "That tail, though..." Golitsyn stood as if in the presence of an atomic bomb, criticality unknown. The tip of Yulaan''s tail flipped and thumped on the narrow side of the table in ways that unsettled him, for the motions proved too fluid and lifelike to be the work of animatronics. "How''d you make it? That tail. Who made it?"


    A shrug and twist answered him, as Vicente bowed ever so slightly towards Yulaan. Once he stood fully erect again, Golitsyn needed no more to understand that his instincts had betrayed him. It was like his youth all over again: this trip was starting to go bad and his grasp on rational reality slipped further and further as the uncanniness won over.


    "Alright, I don''t know." He threw down a pen and stepped towards the door. "I don''t think I can help you with this. This isn''t right. Something isn''t right."


    Vicente rushed out to grab his shoulder. "Hold on, hold up." With a scratch to his snout and a little grin. "You''ve looked at strange things before. You can handle this.


    The frazzled man shouted, "Vicente, that thing''s not human!"


    "Obviously. That''s why she''s here¡ª at the vet. I wanted to come to the zoo''s medical wing just for the extra tools you''d have to work with. But beyond that, I''d just rather you''d see her first."


    The doctor said, ¡°What the fuck is that thing? Vicente, what the fuck is it? Why is it¡ª what does it have a tail? What do you need me to do then?"


    The reply was, ¡°A check-up. That¡¯s it! And I know it sounds strange. But you have my assurances that she won¡¯t attack or spew acid or anything like that. Yulaan is, by the words of that strange man, docile. I don¡¯t know what that means in this context, but she¡¯s docile. Okay?¡± He brought his hands together. ¡°Okay?¡±


    Hearing these words put a shiver in Dr. Golitsyn. His spirit fell into a pool of causeless terror. How had he touched her? What was this thing Vicente now owned? The most unnatural occurrence in human history was unfolding in this ward.


    Or was this all still an elaborate prank? Blinking red lights appeared in his peripheral vision constantly¡ª the silly wink of a prank camera that vanished whenever he turned to look. A tension festered between him and Vicente: at any second, the Man in the Zoot Suit''s mouth would move and give him the all-clear to laugh and begin treating an actual exotic animal. The girl would comb her hair, pull off her tail, and leave, and then something like a Bili ape or new species of spider monkey would be brought in.


    Where was his kid cousin? Or that mass of girls?


    Golitsyn stepped forward, hurriedly glancing towards the duffle bag to see if there was a hidden macaque or Capuchin monkey inside that would bust the prank sooner.


    Nothing.


    Nothing except the jagged blade made of bone, one which he noted even in the shadows of the bag seemed to have many off-colored splotches.


    Finally he grabbed a stethoscope and approached Yulaan with moist, trembling hands. "I''ll, uh... I''ll listen for a heartb-b-beat. Is that what you want?" He kept his eyes on Vicente''s as he leaned in closer to Yulaan. "Is that fine?"


    Vicente said, "Stop scaring him. He can''t give you the all-clear if he''s about to have a heart attack, you goof." Just the sudden higher volume put the fear of God in Golitsyn, and he had to catch his breath.


    With her arms crossed over her knees and head turned towards the wall, Yulaan huffed hard enough to blow her bangs up. Golitsyn caught a fleeting glance of a single flash of gold.


    "He''s going to press a stethoscope against your chest to listen to your heart. Don''t strike him. Don''t. Strike him." Vicente squeezed her shoulder. Her tail fluttered off the table''s edge. With haste he grabbed it as well.


    Yulaan turned her head towards him with such violence that Golitsyn retracted in shock that she had not dislocated her spine.


    He marveled at the hair tie keeping a massive plume from falling further over her face or her back. It wasn''t a scrunchy or even a piece of metal¡ª it was a bone. In fact a human vertebra.


    "It''s crazy how feral she looks, isn''t it..." Vicente took a seat in one of the blue plastic chairs and crossed his arms and legs. "It surprised me at first too."


    "It''s a pelt."


    Vicente laughed at the blank observation and heavy tone. "Indeed! Yeah, it is."


    With subtle smacks of his lips keeping him calm, the vet listened to her heart as best he could with his own pounding in his ears. Nothing sounded distressing, at least at first. Yet as he listened closer, he had the faintest sensation that the girl''s heartbeat was an octave too low, as if it was enlarged or pumping ten times more blood than should exist in a body her size.


    "It''s like a classic caveman pelt. If only it had a tiger or leopard print. Not entirely sure what the substance is, but..." Vicente''s voice became low. "I don''t think I want to know."


    With haste the doctor pulled the stethoscope away and rushed to the other side of the room to log the results. "132 beats per minute. Extremely high, but..." He pulled the sides of his mouth in and coughed. "I can''t tell you if that''s healthy or not. For a human, obviously not. But for most species of Old World and New World monkeys, that''s in line with the norm. Most smaller monkeys have similar heart rates." He shook his head and facepalmed. "I''m sorry, this is just ridiculous. Dr. Xaxalpa, is she a monkey? Just tell me."Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.


    "She is."


    Beat. "I still feel this is not my jurisdiction."


    He pushed himself back against the wall-attached island upon hearing Yulaan growl. She bore her teeth, and while most seemed to be fairly humanlike, her canines were exaggeratedly large¡ª vampiric as if she regularly feasted on flesh. Her tail lifted and curled, and she unwrapped her arms from around her legs. All of the doctor''s panic signals were flaring. It was about to attack.


    Vicente shouted, "Yulaan, I said calm it!" He stood and set himself over her. "I''ll give you, I dunno, a whole mess of those hocks later on. I''ll take you to my grandfather''s house and you can run wild. Just calm yourself."


    To the doctor''s frustration and bemusement, he made no effort to physically restrain her or even unfold his arms. Rather, the two watched each other like a furious starving dog and its master. With great hesitation, Yulaan wrapped herself up again, this time curling her tail around her legs as well.


    Like being dragged back to dry land, all of Golitsyn''s tensions had vanished. The air in the room lifted. Everything felt fine. His terror ceased so totally that he stepped towards her as if she was a familiar face. No fear. No hesitation.


    Even his voice was jolly! "Well, Vicente, I didn''t hear anything to worry about too terribly, though perhaps I could run her through an EKG machine for a better analysis of why it sounds like her heart''s enlarged." He rubbed his chin and ran his hand across her wild hair. "I was curious about this vertebr¡ª OUCH!" He retracted his hand. A spark had flown between it and her hair, so large that it clapped and a burning red sear ran across the doctor''s wrist.


    "What on Earth..." Vicente''s brow furrowed, and the anxiety that had vanished peeked back before being repressed with a hearty laugh from deep within the doctor.


    "Very shocking! I''ve had that happen before with cats, but never monkeys. Ahhh...." He shook and waved his hand to cool off the burn.


    Vicente stood up and ran his own hand into Yulaan''s thick hair. "How''d you do that? You haven''t done anything like that before now."


    Yulaan huffed and looked away. The dirty skin and wildness of her hair gave both men the sense that she had been dredged up from some savage primeval age or perhaps the pages of a blood-and-thunder paperback, but it was the guttural noises and grunts that convinced them.


    "A gay man on the side of the highway gave her to you," Golitsyn asked.


    "I don''t even know if he was a man."


    "So you''re guessing Butch?"


    "No, no, no. I mean, I don''t know if he was a MAN. He seemed male to me, but I don''t think he was human. There was something... alien about his appearance. His face, his eyes, his skin, his ears... Either he was a cosplayer wandering around the middle of a cemetery in the boonies, or something else. But yeah, he was from another universe he said. ''He.'' ''He!'' I don''t even know if it was a he. The alien! The alien said she''s from a primal warrior race called ''Yabans.'' Or Yaban monkeys, or... I don''t know, I''d need to talk to him again."


    "And how do you know she''s a she?"


    This was an easy question to answer: "Because that alien said so. He was actually a tad firm in telling me that she is a female Yaban."


    Golitsyn stepped away to run cold water over his wound in his stainless steel sink. "That vertebra, though. Why is she wearing it? It doesn''t look like it''s doing anything for her eyes, surely."


    Each rub of her hair softened until Vicente''s mouth fell agape as he felt the strangest vibration through Yulaan''s skull. He stooped lower and brought his ear down. "Wait, are you a monkey?" He felt around the sides of the top of her head. No ears. Just a spiky mess.


    "What''s wrong, boy?"


    "She''s purring! How is she a monkey?" They both looked at her and saw there was a slight contented smile curled on her face, exaggerated by half her face being obscured. As soon as he took his hand away, the purr-like noise ceased and she looked over her shoulder at him.


    "I dunno, good sir. This hair though! Ever heard of Siouxsie and the Banshees?"


    The doctor laughed. "My little sister was the biggest fan of them and the Cure. Of course, of course. I think I get what you''re saying."


    "Yeah, it''s like if Siouxsie Sioux stuck her finger in an electrical outlet. I never thought I''d see hair like that in real life outside of a, you know, an anime convention. And you know, now I think I know why." He looked at the doctor''s hand and back to her.


    After tending to the wound further, Golitsyn checked her eyes with a light and saw that they did not respond to any increases in brightness, nor did she flinch. He did, however, note that a massive scar ran the length of her forehead.


    "I can''t say just how old she is, but she''s more heavily scarred than Peter the lion. And he was both a hunter Alpha and poached multiple times. Craziness."


    Next he asked, "May I get you to step on that scale over there?" Yulaan quickly jumped to the floor and hobbled over.


    "See, she understands English. I have no idea why. Why would interdimensional aliens know English?"


    This was brushed off for another question. "So why does she do that anyway? You mentioned some injuries, but this is a fairly pronounced limp."


    "I''m not entirely clear on it myself. But it doesn''t take much imagination to guess."


    At the very last second, both men heard the sound of extreme tension and it came straight from where Yulaan stood. She lifted a foot and set it down atop the scale.


    "Yulaan! Yulaan, wait, stop it!" The machine collapsed inwards as if made of aluminum foil. "Stop it! Stop it!"


    She had, in fact, not stopped it. Rather she put her other foot on the scale, completing the machine''s total destruction. No number registered. And where she stood, she left broken tiles and deeply depressed plaster as if her weight had suddenly octupled.


    Vicente ran his hands across his head. "Goddammit... Sir, I''m so sorry. I should have told her to not bother with the scale."


    "Ah, it''s alright. Though I''m... confused."


    Vicente shifted about in his chair and said, "Yulaan, get off the scale and come back up here. We told you, you can''t weigh so much. Things can''t handle your true weight."


    "True weight?"


    She saluted him, and Golitsyn''s face scrunched as if a clown materialized in the room.


    "Oh, a comedian," Vicente spat. "You''re doing this on purpose." He turned. "This is my new burden. See that? This is what I have to deal with."


    He turned back and his eyes boggled. Golitsyn''s eyes boggled. All four eyes boggled until they nearly fell out their sockets.


    Yulaan was floating¡ª her body suspended in midair as if by wires. She slipped over to and above the table, then set herself down to curl herself back into a ball.


    This brought a lump into Golitsyn''s throat. "Well...!" The pleasantness and contentment finally broke as he once again felt the uncanniness win.


    "Yeah." Vicente threw himself back into the chair with enough force to slide into the wall. His exhale mimicked the one from before. "Back at the family graveyard, I was sure that she was a Saiyan, if you''re aware of what they are. She looks just like what I''d imagine a real one to be."


    "I''ve..." Golitsyn licked his lips. "I''ve heard the term, but I''m not familiar."


    "I guess, ah..." Vicente ran his hands through his hair and kept his gawking eyes hard on the supernatural entity sitting before him. "I don''t even know anymore. Actually, you know what she looks like?"


    Yulaan turned her head towards him as if she too had become interested in this gossip, while Dr. Golitsyn rested his free palm on the washtable behind him. "Phew, um... I can''t say I expected a girl with a monkey tail to float in front of me today."


    "She''s like a Yahoo. A superpowered Yahoo."


    Golitsyn nodded. "See, I know that one. And I can see it. With the hair and the pelt. And the muscles. I mean no disrespect but I was taken aback by how muscular and scarred she is."


    Vicente laughed once, a quick airy exhale. "That''s actually kinda cool to me, though. I thought she was a boy at first too. I don''t know how old she is¡ª 9 or 10, maybe? Maybe around there? She''s got so many more gains than I ever did at that age."


    The vet stepped forward to examine the copious crisscrossing scars along her arms. "Huh, I didn''t even see the one on her cheek." He ran his thumb across her cheek under her right eye, and Yulaan bore her teeth again. "Okay, okay, little miss savage! I won''t touch you again."


    As he said this, he stopped and focused on her mouth. Her gums seemed fine, but they had the strangest pallor. Indeed, the more he studied her features, the more obvious the faint blackness became. "So she has white skin, right?"


    Vicente blew his cheeks and shrugged. "She looks gray to me."


    "That''s what I thought, but I noticed her gums and lips have a faint dark hue to them." He grabbed a magnifying glass and peered in as close as he could without invading her personal space. "I don''t see any fleshy coloration on her, but I don''t see any blueness on her fingers or lips."


    "What''re you hypothesizing, doc?"


    Golitsyn pulled himself back, flicking his hand under a faucet once more. "She may have black blood, but I''m unsure."


    "Insane. Purely insane if true. You know, it would be interesting if it turned out she''s actually an aswang and I was bamboozled." From his pocket he pulled a smartphone and began tapping on the glass.


    Dr. Golitsyn smiled and returned to tending his hand. "I''ll try to collect a blood sample. Perhaps we can send it in for government analysis, providing they don''t try raiding this place and unpersoning us afterwards."


    Both men staggered. Yulaan''s tail lashed and wrapped around Vicente''s phone, bringing it into her hands. By chance she sighted an advertisement of a sizzling, greasy meal.


    "Whoa, whoa! Yulaan, what¡ª"


    She dropped off the table and hobbled away towards the exit, using her tail again to twist the handle and open the door. Vicente jumped up and ran after her with Dr. Golitsyn not far behind. Vicente''s heart raced.


    To their shock, she had managed to traverse the entirety of a lengthy hall far faster than her hobbled motions could possibly suggest. Once more, horror filled their hearts as they saw her scar-crossed feet did not even touch the floor.


    If their hearts were not busting now, the fear of another person seeing the sheer paranormality pushed them to the brink. No shadows beckoned, giving them the opportunity to resolve this without fear of busting human psychosocial solvency wide open with the news that an otherworldly flying monkey existed. Still, Yulaan was flying through the halls, and God only knew why.


    Yulaan hit the wall and pushed herself around the corner. Vicente turned around and ran the other way to catch up with her. With every muscle in his body pushed to his limit, he sprinted down the adjacent hall and saw the wild hair of Yulaan¡¯s shadow long on the distant wall.


    He and Golitsyn turned the corner at the same moment.


    Both of them breathed the greatest sigh of relief when they came upon Yulaan, now crumpled into a heap and eating a bag of dog food by the handful.


    "Alright!" Dr. Golitsyn loudly announced. "I''m ready for retirement!" He and Vicente shared a laugh as they lifted Yulaan up. She used her tail to grab another bag of dog food, carrying it all the way back to the room. She thankfully did not weigh the sickening amounts she used to destroy the 500-pound-capable scale. And once back in the room, she gleefully consumed the metal tips of needles, the bars of steel cages, and chains right as if it was just as nutritious as the heart-healthy lean dog treats.


    Then came the stammered, "Vicente, I don''t even know what to say. This is outrageous."


    Having finished what ¡®food¡¯ she had in her hands, Yulaan yawned and blepped her tongue and rested herself on Vicente''s shoulder. He shook his head and mouthed ''I know, I can''t. I don¡¯t know.''


    ¡°How did¡ª¡­¡± Golitsyn pressed his hand against his face. ¡°Oh boy Oh boy. Oh boy.¡±

 El Bruja (Prime Meridians)

    "Did she just eat my car?"


    Chale Xaxalpa Sr. dropped his arms and stared. The little Yaban monkey ripped chunks of metal from a junker hood and stuffed them into her mouth. These chunks were among the last remnants of what was now a vinyl-dazzled skeleton. The sad thing seemed alive and begging for a mercy kill in the speckled-overcast of the afternoon.


    "She actually ate dog food and metal chains at the Fleurville Zoo earlier.¡± That was Vicente¡¯s response until he saw her bend the frame with the barest touch. "This is outrageous!" Vicente dug through his hair and gestured towards the sight. "Look! Look!"


    Yulaan snapped a solid metal tendril as if a flaky pretzel.


    "Wonderful job helping your old man," Senior added with a gasped laugh. He pat his grandson''s back and added, "Oh, I thought my son had a goddamned appetite. Boy would only eat HALF the car." He set his hand over his forehead. "She! Ay-yay-yay, she only left the seats."


    "I was going to panfry those hocks, you freaking monkey! You didn¡¯t have to¡ª" He rubbed his nose and said, "You know, I don''t think we''re reacting to this like we should.¡±


    "Well, let me tell you what my mother used to say to me: El diablo necesita tres d¨ªas."


    Vicente furrowed his brow and said, "The Devil needs three days?"


    ¡°Three days is all it takes for anything to become normal.¡±


    Yulaan stood and sighed, turning herself and aiming her head towards the trees, roads, fields, and Senior''s home. One thick lichen-dressed magnolia arrested her attention, and she stomped forward, throwing her momentum into an explosive right hook that shattered the tree.


    "Jesus!!"


    "Qu¨¦ chingados!"


    Both men staggered back.


    Yulaan turned and punched down another tree, this one a great green oak. And then another. And then another. The effortless destruction brought to mind tales of ancient demigods showing off to mortals.


    And then she stopped. Something possessed her to realize that Senior''s shock and awe wore out at the same rate of his front yard. The man clenched his fists and stepped forward several times, and only through great restraint did he keep his anger hidden. He had to. A quick glance to the four snapped trunks were why he had no authority.


    "Incredible. Incredible. Are you going to pay for this?"


    Yulaan hobbled towards the two, who both backed away towards the house.


    "It still doesn''t look right, sometimes... That limp she has. It makes her look¡ª"


    Yulaan lifted her hand and a rustic stick taller than herself flew into her palm, and from then on she used it to drag herself forward.


    This brought laughs to Senior''s lips. "She''s like a little old witch. El bruja. Hey, el bruja!" He waved, laughed, and turned himself to his boy.


    Vicente tipped his hat to hide Yulaan and turned to his grandfather to goad him back indoors where tea and soda beckoned from red plastic cups. "I told you. Very Herculean."


    "Hercules! I read of Hercules in my free time. Never did Hercules eat people''s cars."


    Vicente smirked. "I wonder why." With a look over his shoulder at the girl whose chaotic motions brought her closer to the house, he added, "I wonder why a demigod from ancient Greece, three thousand years ago, didn''t eat people''s automobiles. Perhaps we should get to the bottom of this."


    "A smartass!"


    "At least she got rid of that old junker rusting up your yard," Vicente said. "I honestly didn''t think she''d do it. I don''t know how it''s possible, but, eh, I stopped asking questions."


    Senior found his seat in a rocking corduroy chair and flicked away a dust mite from the curved wooden armrest. Repeatedly he looked out the back door, still able to see the spiky hair and upturned and swirled tail. "Does she swing like a monkey?"


    "Hmm?"


    Senior licked his lips and said, "That tail. It''s thinner than I would expect. But is it strong enough to keep her in the air?" He motioned with his hands a little pantomime, that of a monkey swinging through branches.


    Though Senior had a full pitcher of tea, both cups were close to empty.


    "I''d like to know myself. Probably. Probably."


    "What was¡ª" Senior caught himself. "De acuerdo, escucha," he said to his dog, curled on the floor beneath an overhanging frilly white sofa cover. "Don''t go near that girl. I''ve seen videos of monkeys. They do weird things to dogs."


    Vicente laughed, though his tophand had colored itself red from his constant rubbing. "Oh, you''ve seen that video? I don''t think she''s like that. She''s just been violent more than anything."


    "I don''t know, if a monkey stuck its hand up far enough up to touch my lung, I''d be pressing charges. And I don''t care where it''s from." He swung his hands opposite of each other. "Oh no. I already get enough of that from the doctor."


    Vicente looked out the back door again. No further damage. No more trees down. And there she came, that same shambly witch hobble.


    "Seriously, she''s literally el brujita. It''s like she''s 12 and 82 at the same time."


    "El brujita?"


    The clap was louder than a lightning bolt, Senior holding his hands in a prayer. "Look at her! Look at what she''s done.¡±


    "El brujita?"


    Vicente reclined and looked at the ceiling as Yulaan threw down her cane, the motion exposing more of her rugged scar-infested bicep from her pelt. ¡®What are they called? Yabans? I don''t think they''re any better.¡¯ He pulled his cup towards his mouth but felt nothing. Rather, he stood and poured himself more tea.


    And then she spoke, "Vicente."


    The sound startled both men.


    "I keep forgetting she can speak," Senior said with a hand on his chest. "I don''t know why I think she can''t. She just looks so feral."


    She lifted her arm and her tail wrapped around the cane to keep it from hitting the ground.


    "What is that?"


    Once the Man in the Zoot Suit recognized she was pointing at his cup, he lifted it with such haste that a tongue of tea spilled over the brim. "This, fellow, is tea. Cheap, dollar store iced tea because my-my papa is cheap fuck."


    Senior snorted and said, "Can you do some of those, what is it¡ª Kamehameha? Blast the little booger."


    The cup of tea splashed and clattered on the floor. Vicente gasped and laughed as he threw himself out of his chair and waved his hands about. "No! Nonononononono. Not literally. It''s¡ª it''s a joke. A joke is all." The hocks returned to his mind, so he added, "You were¡ª" before pausing and catching the deepest breath he could take. "I''ll make the ham hocks. Alright? Okay? Okay? Okay?" And he backed away, facing Yulaan as he did.


    Yulaan stood in the middle of the room. Neither man could tell her intentions without seeing her eyes.


    "What, they don''t understand jokes?" Senior sat back, blew out his cheeks, and tilted his head to hide the heart palpitations and pulsating vision.


    And yet he took action. "Yulaan, I''ll give you something too." She turned her head. What was an insignificant action for every creature he''d ever met now ignited a blank and frizzy brain shock. Its attention was on him. He was its focus.


    He fiddled a cigar. "Uhhm. I have a stack of old language books. From when I first came to the United States of America. They range from basic elementary to higher level...linguistics. Might help you speak better."


    It was the bangs that made this old man want to cry. How goofy. How absurd. How did she even see? Why was he feeling so terrified of someone who looked like a stone-age emo?


    She nodded.


    He shot up and rushed upstairs. When he came back down struggling under the weight of his books, a pacifying aroma filled the air. Yulaan stood next to Vicente, watching and listening to the pig ankles sizzle and bubble in grease. When one was crispy and browned, he stabbed it with prongs and tossed it across the room.


    Yulaan dropped her cane and jumped, mouth agape so she could snatch the hock in midair. When she landed, she tore viciously at the meat, shaking her head and then grabbing the bone ends to pull off all the meat and fat with one savage motion.


    "She loves these. She loves gnawing on the bones."


    "Well come here, el brujita. Let me teach you ingl¨¦s y espa?ol."


    Yulaan wrapped her tail around the topmost book and pulled the tome to her hands. Then she flipped through the book, its pages fluttering by in a flurry. Finally she tossed the book back at Senior and took the second one, this time without ever touching it physically. Again the pages flew and the back cover slapped the mass of aged pages. She tore one loose page free and ate it to complement the salty smoked hock.


    "You''re supposed to read them, you chimp."


    Vicente kept his eyes on both of them, letting the hock currently smoking burn its flesh. "I don''t think you''re...." He rolled the meat with his prongs. "You''re not going to comment on that?"


    Senior half-caught a third book the Yaban flipped through, its pages crumpling in his quick catching grip. "T¨² bruja, don''t bother! If you won''t read." He snatched the fourth book from her as she finished.


    Yulaan caught another hock with her teeth and ripped at it whilst hiding in a corner.


    "How did her sword not stab you when you carried that bag?" Senior took his seat and peered into the duffle bag. "What even is this?"


    "I think when she reduces her weight, she also reduces the cutting power of that sword."


    "Wait a second. It''s a scimitar made of bone!"


    "Yeah." Vicente tossed two more sizzling and steaming hocks to Yulaan, who caught them with her hands and plopped herself onto the ground. Once she finished the one she had, she ate the next two as if eating grapes.


    Vicente went on: "From what I could ascertain, it''s from a femur. But the material isn''t the same sort of collagen-based matrix as any known Earthling bone. Undoubtedly it''s some elaborate war prize."


    "Really..."


    "Scariest thing is that I ran some blood from her pelt the day after I got her on that genetic scanner Mr. K gave me. Apparently..." The smile was soft and awkward on his face as he let his grandfather have a moment to take in, "She''s wearing the skin of the same person whose bones made that sword."


    Senior''s eyes boggled. He clutched the books and shifted them to obscure his face.


    Yulaan turned her head at him, curled the end of her tail in front of her face, and said, "One more tree."


    She turned to the open backdoor and pointed at a pine tree that stood alone in a small field. Electricity broke and cracked around her arm as she lifted it to eye level, and her still-extended finger became the center of dancing strings of ethereal plasmic light. She exhaled and closed her hand.The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.


    The convulsing energy swirled. She pulled her hand down and said, "Hai!"


    And with a grunt, she thrust her arm forward again, all fingers extended¡ª the motion was so quick that neither man saw just what she shot, only the result.


    The 25-meter pine tree shattered as if struck by lightning, spraying wood and pine needles all about the yard, the rooftop, and even the highway road that lay opposite the yard on the other side of the house.


    Bits of the tree kept raining for a minute afterwards. Senior''s yards soon fell dirty of pinecones, nests, and giblets of small critters who once considered the home.


    "Papa, you see what I have to deal with now, right?" Desperation saturated the man''s voice. "I didn''t mean for all this."


    "How did you do that?" Senior ignored his instincts and hesitation. Indeed he felt nothing of his earlier terror as he approached the Yaban. "What magic was that?"


    Yulaan opened her hand and her cane flew into her palm. "We of the Yeren khanate know it as vril. A form of spiritual energy that flows through our universe and all life. You humans have different names for it."


    The next hock hit the blackened oil and a splash of grease made Vicente recoil. He ran an ice cube over the burned spot of skin on his wrist and took the time to marvel at how talkative his monkey demon had just become. "You''ve said more in the past twenty seconds than you did in the past two days!"


    Yulaan yawned. "Where''s the shitter? Upstairs?" She hobbled over to the stairs. "I''ll don''t care to speak if I have nothing to say."


    "Then why''d you say that?" Vicente could scarcely maintain himself as he considered her question after the havoc she had only just caused. However, the Yaban had left, her tail also out of view.


    Senior threw himself back into his chair and rocked himself. "Ay-yay-yay..."


    Vicente took off his hat and tossed it behind him onto an oilwood table and said, ¡°I left my cousins back at the zoo for this.¡±


    ¡°And thank the Lord! I wouldn¡¯t want them to see this. As long as they can get home!¡± Senior rested his hand on his face, the sighs coming often and louder than the last. He tried to sip some tea from an empty cup, and instead of fetching himself more, he instead set the cup down with enough heaviness to knock it over. ¡°And now she talks about qi! Lawdy lawd.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± Vicente took the meat off the heat and stuck his hands in his pockets. ¡°Count Sakin¨¦ mentioned something like that too. And I¡¯ve been meaning to ask if it¡¯s the same thing as that electricity power she has.¡± He took one last look at the hock, and then at the bones scattered on the floor, and then at the skeleton of the junker outside, and then at the splintered boulevard of broken trees. ¡°El bruja, indeed¡­¡±


    <hr>


    Old Hearst Highway took its name from Alan Hearst, a slaveowner who used the last days of his ill-gotten money to have an ever-muddy path paved so God didn''t judge him to have done nothing worthy before the man was found hanging on horse wire in a neighbor''s field. Local legend claimed a note written by the Devil had been left in his bloody nose and on that note was a curse scrawled in arcane letters unknown to any reader. Ever since, the road has evolved into different states of disrepair before finally being christened a highway during Ford presidency. This singular vein stretches eleven miles and connects the bustling town of Cypress Hill to the interstate towards New Orleans, running through Falstead, Dalecott, Covington, and Gulf Breeze. Most traffic casualties are possums and deer¡ª the few remaining are birds swooping down in fatal daredevil attempts to snatch free food as if the explosive momentum of multi-ton monsters of steel was a neverending display of dominance these birds were too Alpha to avoid. There is no New Hearst Highway.


    Chale Manuel Xaxalpa Su¨¢rez lived in the least boggy quarter of this boggy boondock. A man with crags for a face and a mind born of early 1970s machismo, he folded into the tired and weedy boonies as well as any other ethnic face. One day months ago, he caught grainy photographic evidence of mysterious figures and an unknown structure beyond the distant treeline which seemed to support the outrageous possibility that neighbors existed. He remains a skeptic.


    Yet he has lived on this postage stamp of land for long enough to see that the sins of Alan Hearst left behind a shadow culture beyond the veil of normalcy. The car-eating monkey-tailed monster that just laid waste to his yard and toilet alike was only the most tangible of a hundred fifty years of incursions by the paranormal bizarre.


    And that paranormal bizarre never let themselves fall so conspicuously into the light. What Yulaan did was illegal for the haunts.


    Senior had never seen with his eyes anything so beyond the mundane, rather retelling others the ambiance that thickened the air like the meat around the vein. Spectres photographed in old homes, unknown faces in the distant bushes, triangular formations in the sky, premonitions from behind the milky walls of sleep, all things claimed and yet nothing he himself was allowed to enjoy. And for years, he and his wife watched an eccentric grandson split from his siblings and seek kinship in the fleeting bizarre, wishing that he might one day experience some undeniable proof of the residue of Hearst''s evil.


    The scar-crossed, electrical-haired girl exploding a tree and eating pan-fried ham hocks was the exclamation mark ending those years.


    Vicente pulled his hat back over his head and asked, "I saw Gideon at the zoo. He''s one of the younger followers."


    This pressed heavily on Senior''s face, erasing his tense grin. "If Totta''s brats were there, then why not bring the girls? And Freyja."


    The exclusion of Freyja cut off Vicente''s reply, replacing it with a lipsmack. "Respect her decision! Look, I didn''t want to do it. But I couldn''t risk letting Yulaan grow bored. I promised her this food. Twice, actually¡ª I told her twice I''d give her meat. I was warned not to disregard her."


    The splintered trees tickled his peripheral vision.


    "I understand. I understand."


    And the young man couldn''t find the reason for understanding until he asked, "Should I get them?"


    "No, I said it''s better they not see this. Not yet. And you made the right choice coming straight here."


    The cup spilled its tea in his trembling hand. The corner of his eyes itched, and the broken trees scratched them. "What should I do?"


    "I''ll tell you what you can''t. Absolutely do not ship her to any government or large organization that expresses interest in her. I can assure you that certain people already know about her."


    Vicente sipped. "They might come for her then."


    "No, boy, I mean they just know she exists. They don''t know what you know. For all they know, you''ve kidnapped someone and are trying to throw off their trail."


    Each breath came deliberately as if waiting for a cancer diagnosis. "Really."


    "They don''t know everything. They want you to think they do because that illusion of absolute power is necessary¡ª" Senior pinched his fingers and gestured massively, "absolutely necessary to keep the rich and powerful where they are."


    A red robin fluttered unto a patch of scattered twigs and broken eggs. It packed about the still body of a tiny robin, twisted its head about, hopped away, and flew off. Vicente followed its path until it left his life forever, a dot of red faded into the background.


    "Should I get my cousins? Bring them home?"


    The suggestion brought the possibility of being left alone with Yulaan to Senior''s lips with a resounding, "No!"


    It filled his stomach like swallowing a grenade: his cousins could be in danger. Gideon had contacted Valentina once before. The Man in White had slipped out of sight at the last second. If only he could''ve known who left first.


    Thump, thud, thump, thud¡ª Yulaan came downstairs. Both men hurried back inside.


    She yawned. "I spoke of vril."


    Vicente rushed back to the stove, only to stop by a force snagging him in place. His muscles felt stiff, as if they had all been turned off.


    "No need for further treats, Vicente." The cane stood upright when Yulaan let go. She crossed her legs and floated into the air, holding her hands in a lotus pattern.


    Senior watched as if he had seen the Lord. "So that''s it."


    Yulaan hovered in the living room, her hair lifted even further to the point her bangs uncovered her closed eyes. Her tail curled around her body like a ring.


    The dog lay beneath her, licking its lips and resting its head on its paws.


    Vicente felt awake.


    Senior felt renewed.


    The terror and fears that had gripped them fell away.


    All things felt right and harmonious. What had they been so scared of? It was all silly.


    Then it faded. What filled them in its place was the tepidity of mundanity. They felt as if Yulaan wasn¡¯t there at all, or perhaps if she was an old familiar face.


    Vicente sat down on a couch while Senior took his rocking chair, his dog jumping into his lap.


    Yulaan let one foot touch the floor before the second several seconds later. "I understand you human lot, you would rather a less explosive demonstration."


    She opened her eyes right as she let her bangs fall over them. The bangs and a few shocks of hair barely obeyed gravity¡ª most of the rest remained skyward, and the plume caught by the vertebra looked like a blooming black flower on her head.


    "Yeah, that''s better than blowing up my trees. I don''t need blood pressure that high at my age."


    Vicente sniggered.


    Yulaan cracked her back and stretched. Some fatigue weighed her down enough for her to find comfort. A touch of relief flowed through Vicente, enough to nod. The ground upon which she walked did not crack and shatter.


    Her tail coiled around her midsection and legs until she threw herself onto the corduroy loveseat.


    Senior said, "You said something earlier. You mentioned that thing about energy and the Force. With your hair and sitting and¡ª what was it, brillo?"


    Yulaan curled herself up and wrapped her tail around her body, the length enough to do so one full time and a half. "Vril." Then she lifted a finger and let fairylike orbs twirl and whirl. To suggest the ethereal texture should be roughened by a wicked spasm of static now came as ludicrous. If light could have form, she created it.


    Vicente''s tea was so cold it stung going down.


    With a quick lick of the lips, Senior asked, "Many many years ago, when dinosaurs roamed the earth and made rock and roll music, I knew a good man. He ran a school over in Gulf Breeze, on Uri Lane, and he would teach people¡ª do you understand what I''m saying? Do I need to explain anything? Shake your head if¡ª"


    Yulaan raised her head off her knees. Her tail''s end fluttered on the seat. Senior stopped.


    Then he went on. "When I first come into America, came to America," and then he stopped and laughed at something known only to him. "Bleh! Both might work. When I first came to America, I knew a man who would teach the, uh, the Asian martial arts. Kung fu mostly. A white man with a beautiful lady. He would tell us all the time about her homeland."


    Yulaan dropped her head onto her knees, smooshing her cheeks. "Was this human male bestowed the name Raymond Wright?"


    Senior''s lower lip drooped.


    "And the female: Lau Yanling. Good finks, Chale. You knew humans who were aware of vril."


    Senior dropped his head and said, "Uh¡ª YES. You are a mindreading monkey. Yes. Raymond talked about his lady and her great-grandfather. I don''t remember the name no more; oh it was too long ago." He raised an eyebrow.


    Yulaan finished a yawn. "If you don''t know, I don''t know."


    "Aha. Boy, you lied to me. You sold me a defective goddess."


    Vicente quietly sipped the last of his tea, keeping his eyes and nose turned to the fired oil and the remaining ham hocks atop the table. Yulaan scoffed and looked elsewhere at nothing in particular.


    "I hoped she could unclog my brain."


    She turned her head and said, "He taught you about vril under a different name. That name is qi." She then focused on Vicente. "And you noticed the similarity to ki."


    Both men staggered in their own way. Vicente set his cup aside and focused on anything his eyes fell upon, swiping through his phone and reading halves of sentences before moving on. Senior did Mary''s cross and said:


    "Well, yes. That''s it. I don''t need to say anything, do I?"


    Yulaan uncurled herself and sat with her elbows on her thighs. "Then you''re aware of the twelve meridians humans possess." She pat her chest. ¡°A number


    Vicente considered this and asked, ¡°Is it anything to do with the lightning powers you have?¡±


    ¡°Hrrrk?¡± The way Yulaan looked at him, one of her fangs stuck out of her mouth.


    ¡°Remember, back at the zoo hospital. You shocked Dr. Golitsyn¡¯s hand. Do you have electricity superpowers as well as the vril powers?¡±


    For a moment, Yulaan¡¯s face scrunched as she remembered what had transpired earlier in the day. She had found snuggling in a bag to be fun, but the human she scared at the slave-beast enclosure came as a fuzzy stream of action till she remembered with a grin that he made the mistake of touching her charged hair.


    ¡°Tell me the question again.¡±


    ¡°The shock powers.¡± Vicente rolled his hand. ¡°The electrokinesis. Is that vril?¡±


    Her tail¡¯s end wagged. ¡°Hmm. I know the answer is no, but I could not tell you why. Piggy would know.¡±


    He blinked. ¡°Piggy?¡±


    ¡°The Count told me humans excel at friendship. You would understand her to be a friend of mine.¡±


    ¡°You have pigs on your world?¡±


    She set her chin within her knees again. ¡° Kevelnege is her name.¡±


    ¡°Oh, so it¡¯s more of a pet name.¡±


    She scowled. ¡°Pet name,¡± she echoed. She looked at the stack of books set on a coffee table and then back at the floor.


    ¡°I¡¯m asking, they are different then?¡±


    Yulaan lifted her hand and let the lights flutter around her fingers again. Yet this time electric starters zapped off the tips of her fingers, cracking into the air by a second-finger¡¯s length on each. The five tendrils of electricity wiggled and broke without disturbing the physicalized spirit energy orbiting her hand.


    Even dreams did not make so much mockery of common sense. It was all too much to see: this wild-haired monkey girl whose arm exuded such raw power. But in watching the display, Vicente could not help but feel that whatever force sparked such electricity through the girl¡¯s fingers was not the same as that which alit her arm with the freaky anime aura. The electricity seemed much too physical, much too mundane. The word ¡®bioelectricity¡¯ ran through his mind.


    Senior¡¯s phone rang and he calmed himself to say, "Bueno! Bueno!"


    Vicente disengaged his ears.


    "?Qu¨¦ es eso? Oh... Ah, no. ?No! La vi en alg¨²n lugar de Briarville. ?Porqu¨¦?" His face contorted. "Totta? Both men exchanged nervous glances.


    Vicente folded his arms and twisted his body several times to keep moving. Hearing that name concerned him, and once Chale said, "Uhhh, cierto. Voy a comprobar. Te amo, adi¨®s," he raised an eyebrow.


    "Well!" Senior tensed his face, sucking in air through his teeth. "Luis just told me that Valentina might be fooling with one of Totta''s boys."


    It took Vicente a few seconds to process this and respond. "Why?"


    Senior blew out his cheeks and said, "Maybe she was wooed? He said they¡¯re on their way home now; she¡¯s fine and didn¡¯t get roped in. But it looks you were right to be worried, boy." He got to his feet and ran his hands through his hair, using his other to dial. This, Vicente knew, was for his cousin Julio. He walked to the back door to survey the damage Yulaan had wrought to ease his mind. The last thing he needed to worry about was Ezekiel Totta wrapping up a cousin into his esoteric ramblings.


    Vicente took off his hand and scraggled his hair. ¡°I had a feeling. I had¡ª hmmghh! I knew I should¡¯ve left with them all.¡±


    Over his phone, Senior said, ¡°No, you were still right to be cautious with Yulaan.¡± No answer on the other end, so he tried again.


    Vicente turned to Yulaan and said, ¡°Tell me, what else can you do with vril?¡±


    ¡°What do you call vril?¡± With another glance at the books, she said, "Tell me again."


    Vicente paused and looked to his abuelo, who now turned to texting. "Didn''t you already know it?"


    She looked at the books and said to herself under her breath, "Pet name..."


    ¡°Ah¡­ Actually, you know, I swear I¡¯ve heard that term before somewhere. Vril. But what you describe, we call it qi.¡±


    She threw her head back and said, ¡°Qi. It¡¯s the same here as there¡­¡±


    ¡°I really would like to know. Because depending on the circumstances, I may need your help with something.¡±


    He looked again to Senior, who silently shook his head. Both men knew what he meant. Senior¡¯s earlier caution rang in his ears. Bringing that caution to a sense of danger was the sight of a vein dancing on Yulaan''s forehead, as if she struggled with a heavy weight not on her back.


    ¡°And that¡¯s why you¡¯re asking about qi.¡±


    Beat. ¡°Yes.¡± He looked back to the chaotic yard and to the rustic greenery beyond, that land of Alan Hearst long since cursed.


    Senior stepped up. "Yulaan, disregard him. It''s a matter he has to resolve himself."


    Vicente looked to him. He looked back, to the yard, and then back to him.

 Veils of Reality (Sad and Silly Things)

    "What were you thinking?" screamed Johanna. Vicente¡¯s aunt¡¯s voice had been whittled by emotion. "Leaving my children at the zoo by themselves!"


    Vicente sat there, the phone on an armrest, his head tilted back over the edge of the chair, dazed and cold. What rebuttal could he offer as she screamed of various dark possibilities¡ª someone kidnapping her children, druggies luring them away, the kids getting themselves into danger through their own natural curiosity, simple fear and sadness overcoming them.


    And then a new voice picked up, this one much deeper but no less authoritative. "You hear her, right? This was a mistake on every conceivable level. And you say you don''t have any excuse?"


    "No, sir."


    "Where did you even go?"


    "Senior¡¯s."


    "And he didn''t have anything to say about this?"


    "No, sir."


    "Did he even know?"


    As he opened his mouth, it suddenly dawned on Vicente that he couldn''t drag his grandfather into this mess, so he said, "No, sir."


    "Went behind his back, did you? I''m just... Mmmm." This was Ramon, his uncle for however long left until the man disowned him. Vicente felt bad for him and his wife, knowing that they deserved better than to have their children forgotten among a zoo of potential freaks.


    He continued his policy of saying little as Ramon seethed.


    "You know we could have you arrested for this, right? Perhaps that could set you straight."


    "I do understand, sir."


    "Look... I get that we should have run things through with you before now. We surprised you. But you explicitly stated that you were willing to bring our kids to the zoo. You said it. We heard it. There''s no way out of this."


    In the background, Johanna said something indistinct, but Vicente knew just by the intonation it was directed at him.


    He looked over to Yulaan, who sat cross legged upon the floor of his den. He then looked back towards the wall and picked up the phone.


    "We''ll have to have a better talk about this tomorrow. I really want to see you in person."


    "I understand."


    "At the very least, thank you for asking if the kids are alright, no thanks to you."


    "I get it, sir."


    "Have a good day, boy."


    The call ended.


    Vicente blew out his cheeks. That went worse than he thought it would, but at the very least, ''they''re alright.''


    His grandfather''s call about Totta''s boys being in the area had set his heart off on a path of panic, so knowing that his underage cousins were not in the freak''s grasp was the calm he used to tolerate his aunt and uncle''s newfound resentment.


    Veins crossed Yulaan''s forehead. She sat with her eyes closed and fingers digging into her crossed arms. The way she held herself informed him that she was going to explode. In what way, he could not know. Yet the tension disturbed him.


    "What''s wrong?" he asked. She had been this way at Senior''s house all the same, but the increase in tension was palpable. It was as if after leaving Senior, something in her snapped and even she was upset with him.


    She said nothing, so that little seed of a possibility, that she also disliked his betrayal of his cousins, offered its own resolution.


    "Well, you wanted those hocks, didn''t you?" Was it wise to pawn this off onto her, he wondered. Would she be offended? "I had to give them to you, you know. That''s what your old handler said. Give you whatever you want without hesitation, no matter the circumstances."


    She did not stir.


    But she did speak.


    "I need to fight something."


    His ears twitched. "What was that?"


    "I need to fight something!" she roared. She stood and stormed towards a patio window. He got out of his seat and followed her. "Let me punch down more trees. I want to slaughter all the animals in this area."


    "You can! I can''t stop you. But I''d rather you not." The young Yaban started towards the window as if she was going to throw herself out, but the moment Vicente voiced his concerns, she stopped and turned.


    "Do I have permission?"


    "I''m just saying, I''d rather you not draw so much attention. It was different at my grandfather''s place. He has an excess of trash and trees in his yard that he needed cut down anyway. This field my own house is on, it''s supposed to not draw any attention for a reason."


    She turned back and folded her arms again, the veins seeming ready to burst through her skin. "Then I won''t. Not now."This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.


    "You can, if you really must. I just want you to know¡ª"


    Her tail lifted. "You expressed a fine point, Vicente. Enough."


    She sat back on the floor next to the chair, this time grunting and seething through her teeth as if a monster beat at her chest trying to escape. She brought her hand towards her forehead as if her brain throbbed in her skull.


    "I haven''t fought anyone since my battle with Enekai," she said suddenly as Vicente sat back down. She spoke in a spooky, raspy way. "That was three months ago."


    A shocked ¡®hrrk?¡¯ fell from her mouth as Vicente ran his hand running across her skull, his fingers passing through her hair over and over, scruffing her head up in a way that  brought another purr up from her throat. All the latent tension began to fade. Her hair, standing on end and tense, seemed to relax ever so slightly and follow gravity''s pull.


    Then she beat away his hand with her tail. "I don''t want to purr right now! I want to fight and kill stuff."


    Vicente sighed. "You''d make a good narco."


    Knock knock came from the front door.


    "I wonder who that could be," said Vicente in a morose tone. Was it the police? Had his aunt and uncle followed through on their threat to have him arrested?


    Vicente stood and pointed towards a closet. "Get in there pr go into another room."


    "Why in there?"


    "I''ll give you whatever sort of fatty, fried foods you crave later on."


    "I slaughter your offer.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure you will. But I need you out of sight.¡± He gestured wide, saying, ¡°I¡¯m all already in deep shit. Last thing I need is for the cops to think I¡¯m trafficking little girls.¡±


    She scoffed and turned her head to the side. ¡°They''re not policemen."


    He stopped. "What was that?"


    She then sat in his chair, her weight at first crushing the thing before she softened herself.


    The Man in the Zoot Suit ambled to the door, each step carrying questions as to what Yulaan knew.


    Upon opening the door and seeing his visitors, he finally understood the game.


    "Mr. Xaxalpa, is it?"


    There stood two men in black suits, hidden behind black sunglasses. One was shorter than himself, perhaps teenaged in everything but voice. This one had a sort of 1940s shyster style to him as he said:


    "We''ve been looking for you for a while now, good sir, good sir! Finally caught you when you''re at your worst, I bet."


    Then Vicente looked to the bigger man. This one stood stiff and uncomfortably. Every second Vicente spent examining him revealed new eccentricities. Crinkly skin. No eyebrows. Seven feet tall at the least.


    The two men stepped forward. The shorter one slipped his hands into his pockets and grinned as if he was in for the kill. The strange one walked like a robot.


    Vicente stepped back and against the frame of the door.


    "Come on in. I''d like to say I''ve been expecting you for many years now."


    The short man nodded, tipping his hat. Vicente tried to do the same, but pressed against nothing but his hair.


    Out in the gravel driveway, there rested a shiny black Volga. A car he had only ever seen in Ukraine and Russia, now here in the southern pits of the United States. How beautifully it shined in the afternoon.


    ''Why did I leave Senior''s place so quickly? He¡¯d give anything to meet them.''


    He turned to follow his new guests. All good minds would know better than to tell this lot that they didn''t have a warrant to search his house. They operated outside the law, against the law, for their own purposes. This was the shadowy world beyond the milky walls of reality in which most people lived. Another world beyond the veil, one into which Vicente so eagerly threw himself as an everyday hobby and reason to pass the time. A day like today was not unexpected. Yet some part of him, this little innocent child he could not shake from himself throughout all his years of maturing, was still cowering at the thought this was really happening. They were here. They wanted him.


    The world¡¯s great mysteries live their best unresolved. Here was his chance to pull at the veil¡¯s thread and reveal to himself and the world what hid so well away from sleeping eyes. That girl had given him that chance.


    They hurriedly scuttled back out the door, tipping their hats.


    "All apologies, good sir, good sir! All apologies! We''ll be on our way."


    He frowned. "Didn''t you want to see her?"


    "We''ve seen it. Oh we''ve seen it alright. You''re in quite the pickle, good sir, good sir." Short-stack beat at the hood of the car as he passed to the driver''s side. "We''ll be watching you, good sir, good sir. Don''t do anything hasty."


    The big man stopped, turned a full 180 degrees, and said slowly and cumbersomely, "You do not know what she is." He completed his turn, stooped into the Volga, and vanished along the curves of the horizon with his friend at an easy pace.


    Nothing else felt right. Nothing could follow up this little event and feel real. Least of all, talking to Yulaan. Something momentous had transpired, and yet the mundanity of existing in the present hid it to him. His mind in the future would look back upon this exact moment as the seconds, minutes, hours that changed the world and the very direction of life on this Earth.


    Unsurprisingly she sat the same way she had done before, still nestled in his chair. The veins on her forehead continued to throb, even as she pressed her fingers together and sat cross-legged.


    "What happened?"


    She growled.


    Again, he asked, "What happened? Did they try taking you?"


    Again, she growled. She unfolded her legs, but remained sitting, instead pressing her hands against armrests in a slight forward lean. "I need to fight something."


    Prickly horror itched his skin as he rubbed the back of his head.


    Pushing herself off onto to her feet, Yulaan said, "I  had to assert dominance," in that raspy voice that shook his core. This voice was unpleasant. Sinister. Demonic. Every word she spoke with it brought flashes of his bisabuela before his eyes.


    ''She''s the devil!'' she''d say.


    ''The Devil walks among us!''


    ''She''s come to steal our souls and lead us astray!''


    He had never felt so happy to know that granny Chavela was buried and gone. In fact this might have been the first time he could recall that he thanked her mortality for whisking her away from life. If she were still around, she''d most certainly die in fright anyhow.


    But then he snapped back to reality and asked, "Assert dominance? Against the Men in Black?"


    "Men in... black?" The way she spoke worried him further. Something in her struggled against itself, and the tension that scared him earlier began to fester into a greater horror. "Should I know who that is?"


    This horror was new. No longer was it eminent from the little Yaban¡¯s vibe. He licked his lips and said, "U-um, yes, actually. I''ve been dying to meet them all my life. I knew I''d have a run in with them eventually."


    The tip of her tail smashed against the floor, shattering the wood paneling. "Agh!" She grabbed her head and sat back down. "I have to fight something..."


    "What? What do you have to fight?"


    She threw her hands down. "Anything!"


    "I already told you, you can go ahead and punch down the trees. Just don''t bring too much attention to us, and it''s fine!"


    "I...." She stood again and rushed to the door. "I should have killed them! That would''ve resolved everything."


    "Kill¡ª no, Yulaan, no. Remember what that man said! You can''t kill anyone who doesn''t threaten you directly."


    "That''s why I didn''t. But I need to fight something, or else I''ll break down." She clutched her head and then hugged her body, stumbling off against the wall. "It came on too quickly."


    "What?! What came on? You need to tell me these things. I don''t know how you work!"


    "Aghhh!" She beat at the wall, her fist breaking through the plaster.


    Vicente felt he could cry. How had he gotten himself into this nightmare? When could he wake up and resume his abnormal life? Why him? What was happening?


    And what did she mean by all this? That she had to fight?


    If nothing else, he could not regret any of his aunt¡¯s or uncle¡¯s words. They did not know the truth. And that was for the best. He could never bring his little cousins to harm, and in this moment, with this half-feral alien monkey undergoing what might have been a psychotic breakdown in his living room, he knew he made at least something resembling the right choice.