《Tore Up (Mississippi Smoke Series Book 1)》 Tore Up: Prologue The familiarity of the evening felt like a well-rehearsed act was ying around me. I knew this scene and the one after it. They all bled into the next, then hit repeat. The only thing that was different was me. My smile was fake. I had no interest in the story my best friend, Than Carver, was telling, although the others at our table wereughing. ¡°I Love This Bar¡± by Toby Keith yed over the speakers, and the pungent smell of cigarette smoke and stale beer clung to the air. This had once been what I looked forward to every Friday night¡ªProof Pony had been letting us in the door and allowing us to drink well before the legal age. It wasn¡¯t something they did for anyone else. They¡¯d have been closed down long ago if they had. We were an exception. The family was always an exception. ncing down at my phone, I checked the time. Only thirty more minutes. I needed to leave soon. Saylor wouldn¡¯t be ready to end the night. She¡¯d want me to take her down to the creek or the stables on my family¡¯s ranch. It was something we hadn¡¯t done in a while, and she was getting insecure about us. We¡¯d been together for almost eight years now. Hell, probably even before that. There wasn¡¯t a memory I had from my childhood that she wasn¡¯t connected to. I could read every expression on Saylor Rice¡¯s face. She was ¡­ all I had known. Until a little over a month ago. Than started to order another beer and looked at me. ¡°You want another, or are you still the DD?¡± he asked. I had slowly been drinking the one beer I¡¯d ordered. Not because I wanted to make sure someone could drive us all home safely. But I¡¯d let them think that was the reason. Even when Saylorughed at me. All I had to do was call for a driver. I¡¯d insinuated that I didn¡¯t want to have an employee of one of our fathers knowing what we were doing or going to doter. Which wasn¡¯t a lie. But once I took her home, I had somewhere to be. Someone else to see. ¡°I¡¯ve got a fucking headache,¡± I lied. ¡°I¡¯m ready to head out.¡± Than frowned as if I¡¯d spoken anguage he didn¡¯t understand. His gaze shifted to Saylor, then back to me. ¡°Uh, okay,¡± he replied. ¡°I need to go see if Gathe is staying or going with us. He¡¯s still working his charm on that redhead.¡± Gathe Bowen didn¡¯t give a shit about the redhead. He just wanted a hot fuck. She was new, and that was rare here¡ªProof Pony was a locals bar. Nothing about the exterior appealed to visitorsing through town. Several of the others left to go get another drink while one couple headed to the dance floor now that Than wasn¡¯t holding court with his storytelling. I stood up, not ncing down at Saylor, but holding out my hand to her so she wouldn¡¯t notice how anxious I was to get out of here. The unspoken questions in Than¡¯s eyes had been easy to ignore. But with Saylor, it was harder. I loved her. I didn¡¯t want to hurt her, but I also knew I wasn¡¯t in love with her. The realization that I had never been in love with her hit me the moment a pair of eyes the color of a clear sky on a warm summer day looked up at me as I sank deep inside her. I couldn¡¯t even me it on the fact that I¡¯d taken her virginity. When I¡¯d taken Saylor¡¯s virginity, the fierce emotion to own her, keep her, mark her as mine hadn¡¯t pounded in my chest. But with Halo, it had hit me so hard for a moment that I¡¯d lost my breath. God, just thinking about Halo made my need to get out of here more urgent. I wanted to turn and run out the fucking door. Leave the people who had been my closest friends since birth behind. I would walk away from them all if I had to. For her. For Halo, I¡¯d do anything. Saylor slid her hand into mine, and I gently pulled her up as she stood. ¡°If you drank more than one beer, your headache would go away,¡± she suggested, then slid her hands up my chest. ¡°And we could go have some fun alone.¡± I couldn¡¯t fuck her anymore. Thest time I¡¯d done it was a week ago, and the entire time, I¡¯d fought with the tormented ache of my betrayal. I hated myself for it. What had once been familiar andfortable was wrong. After the call I¡¯d gotten from Halo today, I knew I¡¯d never be able to make myself do that again. There was a truth that wasing, and I had to find the right way to handle it. Saylor might not be who I wanted in my bed and by my side, but she was one of my best friends. Losing that was gonna hurt like a bitch, but it wouldn¡¯t rip my heart out, like losing Halo would do to me. The choice had to be made, and there was no question who it would be. ¡°I was outtest night. Bane was hell-bent on making me see the job through,¡± I told her. That wasn¡¯t a lie. My older brother was a bastard most of the time, but he was also one of the most lethal men in the family¡ªor rather, the Mississippi branch of the Southern Mafia. My dad had handed the task of breaking me in on the darker side of our business to Bane. It wasn¡¯t like I hadn¡¯t killed anyone before. They¡¯d made me do that when I turned seventeen. Normally, they waited until the age of eighteen for that lesson in life, but Than and Gathe were a year older than me, and we¡¯d gone through all the steps together. Thankfully, Saylor didn¡¯t push. She could be whiny as fuck when she wanted to be. I was probably the only male on earth who ever told her no.Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g I draped my arm around her shoulders and headed for the door. Than was over with Gathe and the redhead, but I was ready to go. Get the point across to the two of them I was leaving. There was no changing my mind. ¡°You didn¡¯t say much aboutst night,¡± she said, ncing up at me. ¡°Was it ¡­ bad?¡± It wasn¡¯t the first time I¡¯d been to the underground cer on our property, but it was the first time I¡¯d been forced to inflict the punishment on someone. My kills had been limited to gunshots up untilst night. No actual blood had coated my hands. I couldn¡¯t say that anymore. Saylor understood this life. She¡¯d been raised by the former head of the Mississippi branch. Her father¡¯s Parkinson¡¯s disease had reached a point that he had to step down from his position twelve years ago. Seeing as he had only two daughters and no sons, the boss back then, Garrett Hughes, had sent Linc Shephard to take over our branch. The Shephards were the only family inside the Southern Mafia who had been in it as long as the Hughes. Linc¡¯s brother was the head of the Georgia branch. It was a hierarchy thing. Linc¡¯s son, Levi, was one of the current boss, ise Hughes¡¯s, closest friends, and no one expected him to leave Oc, Florida¡ªwhere the main headquarters were located¡ªto take over when his father stepped down. We all knew that position was going to Bane one day. Other than the Rices, we were the next-oldest family in the Mississippi branch. I knew she was waiting on a response from me, but I didn¡¯t want to talk about it. I shrugged. ¡°It wasn¡¯t enjoyable,¡± I admitted. ¡°I don¡¯t get off on it the way I think Bane does.¡± She let out a smallugh. It was no secret that my brother was angry, aggressive, rude, and a general asshole. ¡°You¡¯ll get used to it eventually,¡± she replied. Having a girlfriend who knew the family secrets, understood the life, and was a part of it was something I¡¯d once thought made me the lucky one. The others had to hide that from the girls they dated. None of them had ever done serious rtionships because of it. That no longer mattered to me. I had a fight on my hands with my father, and I knew it. This wasn¡¯t going to go over well with anyone inside the family. Everyone expected me and Saylor to marry one day. It would keep the Rice blood inside the Mississippi branch of the family especially since there wasn¡¯t a son to carry it out in their name. Saylor¡¯s older sister, Fia, had married one of the members of the Louisiana branch. The understanding that I¡¯d marry Saylor had been fine with me¡ªuntil Halo. She¡¯d changed everything. Stepping out into the fresh air, I let my thoughts go to her. The perfect scattering of freckles on her straight, slightly upturned nose; her pink Cupid¡¯s bow lips that could curl into a sultry smile that made my knees weak; and the delicate scent of strawberries on her skin. My hands literally ached to touch her. Hold her. God, I had to get to her. One more day without seeing her, and I felt like I might go fucking insane. I heard the screech of tires right before the familiar pop, and maybe if I were my brother, my reaction would have been faster, quick enough. But I wasn¡¯t Bane. Saylor¡¯s scream came before my brain registered the pain, but when it did, I was already going down. Several thoughts crashed over me as my body hit the pavement. The understanding that I¡¯d been shot was the first one, but it was followed by a rapid-fire series of more: Was this bad? Could I walk away from it? I couldn¡¯t die. Not now. It was bad. Breathing was getting harder by the second. More tires screeched somewhere in the distance. I heard more gunshots as the car sped away. This had been on purpose. Who could it have been? Than was here. He put his gun back in its holster before dropping to his knees beside Saylor who was bent over me as her tears rolled down her cheeks before dropping onto mine. My eyes found Than. I could see the severity in his grim expression. This wasn¡¯t something I could survive. He was pale. Anguish stared back at me through his gaze. Saylor was pulled back; I could hear Gathe cursing, and I knew he had taken her. He¡¯d be there for her. Deep down, I¡¯d always known a part of him envied me because he wanted her, yet it was me she loved. Than slid his hand under my head. ¡°It¡¯s gonna be okay,¡± he assured me, but we both knew that was a lie. ¡°No,¡± I managed to croak out. I began to feel strangled, as if my lungs were filling with water. The sense of drowning began to escte. Halo. Oh fuck! Halo. I couldn¡¯t die. She needed me. I didn¡¯t want to leave her. I tried to fight against it, to move, but nothing worked. ¡°Easy,¡± Than said. ¡°Try to take small breaths.¡± He didn¡¯t understand. I couldn¡¯t take any fucking breaths at all. The world was fading. ckness was seeping in on the edges of my sight. This was death. I¡¯d always wondered if it¡¯d hurt, and I could affirm that going out this way was a fucking bitch. ¡°Halo,¡± my voice was barely a whisper, wishing I could tell him where she was. How to find her. That she needed me. Heaviness settled on me before I got the chance. There was a loud wail in the distance, and then a, ¡°Fuck NO!¡± came out in a guttural shout from Than¡¯s chest. It was over. Tore Up: Part 1 – Chapter 1 Part 1 ¡°From the deepest desires oftenes the deadliest hate.¡±¨CSocrates
Two Months Later The house was almost empty. I stood in the living room. It was the center of our three-bedroom house. The kitchen was directly behind me. To my right was the master bedroom, and to my left were the other two bedrooms and only bathroom. There was nothing left of our family who had lived here, except the things that belonged to me and to Nick, my father. It still smelled the same without them here. Iris, my stepmother, had packed up all my sister¡¯s and brothers¡¯ things and left. Tears stung my eyes. Would I get to see them again? She hadn¡¯t even told me they were leaving. I hadn¡¯t gotten to say goodbye. I sucked in a deep breath, trying to stop the tears for the second time tonight. Crying was not going to fix anything, but I wasn¡¯t sure how much more I could take before I cracked. The fighting between Iris and Nick had gotten worsetely. I¡¯d been worried about it and even mentioned it to my brother Ares when he calledst week. He had said Nick was a bastard, which was his normal response to anything involving our father. Two months ago, Ares had left for boot camp. He¡¯d enlisted in the Army right after graduation. Nick hadn¡¯t bothered to be here to tell him bye, wish him luck, tell him how proud he was, or any of the things a good father would do. I had thought that was thest straw for Iris. If I hadn¡¯t been so wrapped up in my own problems, then I might have realized she was nning on leaving.Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org. She was the only mother I¡¯d ever known. My mother had taken her life when I was three months old. Nick never would talk about it or give me the details. All I knew was that he¡¯d met Iris and knocked her up months after my mother¡¯s death. Ares was only sixteen months younger than me. Three days before I turned four years old, Carina was born. Two months after I turned nine, Alvin was brought home from the hospital. Dennis was thest of Nick and Iris Talley¡¯s children. I had been thirteen years old when Dennis was born. Nick adored Carina. She was his princess. He imed she was the prettiest girl in the world. I couldn¡¯t even be jealous of her because I agreed. Her pale blonde hair and bright green eyes were angelic. She looked a lot like Nick. Iris often said that she¡¯d been fooled by his handsome face. The bitterness in her tone when she said it made it clear she wished she hadn¡¯t fallen for Nick¡¯s looks. Had my mother felt the same way? It was something I often wondered, but would never know. Alvin and Dennis soaked up any attention Nick threw their way and did everything they could to gain his approval. I just tried to keep out of his way, and Ares ignored him. To the three youngest Talley kids, Nick was Dad, even if he did little to earn that title. Like me, Ares called him Nick. I did it because that was all he would allow me to call him. When I had heard Iris referring to Nick as Dad to Ares when we were young, I had called him Dad one day. Although I had only been three, I still remembered in detail the scowl he¡¯d given me when he told me that I was to call him Nick. Ares had copied me and began calling him Nick too. The more Nick looked right through me, the bigger the strain on his rtionship with Ares. There were times in my life I¡¯d felt guilty because of it, but there was nothing I could say or do to fix it. Even when Carina came along and called him Dad, Ares never did the same. Carina was almost three when she called him Nick the first time. He picked her up and held her in hisp so lovingly, telling her she was his little girl and that he was her dada. That night, when we were in bed, Ares asked me why we didn¡¯t call Nick Dad. I exined that I wasn¡¯t allowed to call him anything but Nick, but I was sure that he¡¯d like for Ares to call him Dad. Ares had shaken his head as he narrowed his eyes, then reached for my hand. ¡°No. If he is Nick to you, then he is Nick to me too.¡± At my loneliest, I¡¯d always had Ares. If he were here now, I didn¡¯t know if his presence would give mefort. Not this time. He was going to be upset about this. The older he got, the worse his temper seemed to get. Iris had said the Army would be good for him. Keep him out of prison one day. I wasn¡¯t sure where his short fuse, which exploded when lit, hade from. Nick wasn¡¯t one to lose his temper. Why would he when his silence could break you? His ability to walk off as if you¡¯d said nothing of importance and meant so little that you weren¡¯t worthy of his reaction was more powerful than anything else. Iris had gotten meaner over the years. Yelling more and staying angry were her norm now. She hadn¡¯t been that way when I was young. Nick had broken her. Taken away any and all joy in her life. She had screamed at him about his whorest week. Carina cried into her pillow. The house was small, and the walls were thin. We always heard every word that she said to him when they fought. She had used him of leaving to go stay with his whore and her kid. I was going to ask Ares if he knew what she was talking about, but he hadn¡¯t called. Was that why she had left? I turned and looked back at the bedroom door that held only my things now. No sign of Carina remained. It was bare without all her stuff. I didn¡¯t have nearly as much as she did. Nick rarely told her no and barely acknowledged me. Thest time he¡¯d spoken to me was when he barked at me to get him a beer two weeks ago while he sat on the sofa, watching a basketball game on the television. We didn¡¯t have that television anymore. Iris had even taken that with her. How had she had the time to get everything out of here? I¡¯d worked a double shift today. I did that every Saturday at the fairgrounds. Urban Bistro was a food truck that moved around the city to different events. Tember and Alf, the owners, were sessful because they didn¡¯t just wait for customers toe to them. They hired servers to walk around with food items, making the purchase more convenient. Had that really been all the time she needed to clear the house out and leave? Or had she been secretly packing up and I hadn¡¯t realized it? If Ares had been here, he would have noticed. He was perceptive about things. He¡¯d have warned me. It would be four more weeks before I could contact him. Even when he got a break to call home, it would be Carina¡¯s or Iris¡¯s phone he called. I didn¡¯t own a phone. When I needed to use one, I always borrowed Carina¡¯s. The double-size bed that I had shared with Carina was gone. Iris hadn¡¯t even left me a nket and pillow. She had taken her and Nick¡¯s bed too. I sank down to sit on the floor, wondering what he was going to do when he returned from storming out after theirst fight. He¡¯d be furious. I would be the only one here. Instead of being invisible to him, he¡¯d have to talk to me. Ask me where she had gone. Not that I knew. She¡¯d not even left a note. I wanted a shower, but I was sure there were no towels or soap left. She¡¯d been thorough in what all she took. I missed Carina¡¯s bubbly voice telling me about her day. I missed the sound of Alvin and Dennis arguing over what they were going to watch on the television next. I even missed Iris yelling at them to shut up. Dropping my head into my hands, I finally let the tears fall. Would I have caught them before they left if I¡¯d not spent that extra hour after work waiting on Crosby again? It was pathetic at this point, and I knew it. I had to stop, but if he didn¡¯te to the fairgrounds, I had no other way to contact him. Although it had been two months since he¡¯d said he¡¯d meet me after work and never shown up. I texted him from Carina¡¯s phone when I got back home that night, but he still hadn¡¯t responded when I woke up the next morning. I always deleted the things I¡¯d texted him, not wanting Carina to see it, and he rarely texted back if it wasn¡¯t an immediate response because he knew it wasn¡¯t my phone. But the times he couldn¡¯t text back right away, he woulde find me at work. I thought he would show up eventually with an apology and exnation. Maybe he had panicked and needed time to let it all sink in, but he¡¯d had plenty of time to do that now, and still, no word. He had told me not to worry, that he loved me, when Ist talked to him. I was so scared, but I¡¯d believed him. He had walked into my life and charmed me. I¡¯d never been one to fall for a guy¡¯s good looks and pickup lines. In school, Ares had made guys nervous and kept them from approaching me, but I¡¯d been okay with that. I never had time to date anyone. When I wasn¡¯t working, Iris kept me busy in the afternoons with the younger kids, cleaning and often cooking dinner. Crosby was different. He made time to see me even though it was oftente when I got off work. He waited. For a moment in time, it was like I¡¯d found my very own Prince Charming. But I had to face the brutal truth in front of me now. He had never introduced me to any of his friends. We had never gone anywhere together in public. Our dates had been limited to ces that I thought were romantic, even after the time he came to pick me up after work and actually hid from someone he knew that he had seen in the parking lot. I¡¯d been left standing there, alone and confused. That experience should have been a wake-up call for me. He had spent the evening swearing he loved me. Telling me I didn¡¯t understand. There were things he couldn¡¯t tell me. He pleaded with me to trust him, and I finally relented. I gave him my virginity in the back of his truck the first week I met him. That wasn¡¯t like me. I¡¯d not even let a boy touch my boobs before him. But Crosby managed to get me to do things I¡¯d never imagined I would. But I hadn¡¯t given him my heart yet, and I guessed, for that, I could be thankful. I lifted my head from my hands and sighed, then ced a hand on my stomach. I had used him of being ashamed of me, and he promised me that no one would ever be ashamed of me. He held my face and kissed me, telling me how beautiful I was. That he spent his days distracted, thinking about me. He made me feel special. For the first time in my life, I thought I meant something to someone. When I told him my period waste, he gave me money to get a pregnancy test and assured me that if it was positive, he¡¯d be there for me and the baby. He talked about us getting a ce together, and although I wasn¡¯t sure I was ready for that, I knew living at home might not be an option. When the test came back positive, I tried not to panic, but I got very little sleep. That next morning, I used Carina¡¯s phone to call him. He said he would be waiting on me in the parking lot when I got off work. He promised he was going to take care of me and told me not to worry. That had been two months ago. Crosby never showed. Not that night or any night since. Before then, he had always been early and would tell me he couldn¡¯t stay away any longer. He just needed to see me, even if it was to watch me work. His absence and silence were loud and clear. I was alone in this. All that excitement in his voice about living together had been a lie. Crosby was nevering to find me. He didn¡¯t want me or our baby. Tore Up: Chapter 2 The searing pain inside my chest had taken the ce of where my heart used to be. There was nothing that eased it, and if I¡¯d been called down to this fucking underground cell for Linc Shephard to be corrected for my behavior, then I might end up with a bullet between my eyes. I respected him, but I could no longer be sure of my reaction to situations. Not since I¡¯d been told my little brother was dead. There was a darkness eating me alive that wanted revenge, and until I had the fucker who had killed Crosby bleeding out at my feet, it wasn¡¯t going to get any better. Too much fucking time had passed, and every day I didn¡¯t find who had shot him, the pain intensified. The heavy, booted steps were singr as they drew closer to me. I stood, waiting with my arms crossed over my chest. I¡¯d expected more than just Linc when he sent me a text to meet him here. His second-inmand, Luther Levine, or at the very least my father. Linc entered the room. The somber expression on his face didn¡¯t surprise me. There wasn¡¯t good news anymore. There never would be again. Since the day we had buried my brother, all the good had gone with him. Twenty-one fucking years old and dead. My teeth clenched as the urge to m my fist into the concrete wall overcame me. Goddammit! I hated the thought of him in a cold, dark grave. ¡°Did you tell anyone you wereing down here?¡± Linc asked me. I shook my head. ¡°Good. What I¡¯m about to tell you can¡¯t be shared. Your dad doesn¡¯t even know. He doesn¡¯t need this right now, but it has to be looked into, and I think this just might lead us to Crosby¡¯s shooter,¡± he told me. The demanding urge for violence that tore through me caused my breath to stutter. ¡°Who?¡± The one word was all I could manage. Linc held up a hand. ¡°What I¡¯m about to tell you requires that you calm the fuck down. Keep your head on straight. This is shit we weren¡¯t expecting. Within the family, it is gonna need to be handled with care, meaning telling no one.¡± I¡¯d calm the fuck down when the person who had killed my brother was choking on their own blood, but I nodded. Linc didn¡¯t look convinced. His eyes narrowed. ¡°I came to you because Crosby was your brother. It is out of respect, but I need your word that you can handle this and you¡¯ll obey my orders.¡± I tried to focus on my breathing. The rage that consumed me was hard to tamp down. ¡°I¡¯ll obey your orders. But I want to be the one to kill the motherfucker.¡± Linc¡¯s brows drew together. ¡°I know that. It¡¯s why we are down here alone,¡± he told me. ¡°Okay, let me exin everything and give you the details before you start nning your retaliation. I said, I believe we have a lead. I do not know for a fact that this is even rted, but my gut tells me that it is.¡± He reached into his pocket and pulled out a phone. He held it up. ¡°This was found in your grandfather¡¯s old farm truck. It was stuck under the seat.¡± ¡°Whose is it?¡± I asked, trying to work around how that had anything to do with my brother¡¯s shooter. ¡°It was Crosby¡¯s.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not his phone,¡± I told him. Linc let out a weary sigh. ¡°I¡¯m aware. When it was found, it was also locked, but Levi was able to walk me through how to bypass that. I didn¡¯t want anyone knowing about it until I saw what this was going to tell us. He bought the phone a little over three months ago and used it to contact only one number.¡± ¡°Who?¡± I demanded as I red at it as if that phone had pulled the trigger. ¡°Bane, you¡¯ve got to calm down. There is a lot I need to tell you, and the answer to who shot Crosby is not in this phone. It is a lead. That is all.¡± I dropped my hands to my sides and fisted them. ¡°I¡¯m calm.¡± Linc gave me a look that said he wasn¡¯t buying my lie, but he continued, ¡°The number belongs to a girl, but I¡¯ve not had Wilder run it and see what all he can find on the person it¡¯s registered to. Like I said, the fewer people who know about this, the better. There is Saylor to think about here. I want the bastard dead, just like you do, but this information would be a massive blow to Saylor, her parents, and yours.¡± I shook my head. ¡°My brother wasn¡¯t fucking some other girl.¡± He wouldn¡¯t have done that. He¡¯d been in love with Saylor since they had been little kids. They were always together. When the hell would he have had time to fuck someone else? The tight expression on Linc¡¯s face told me that he didn¡¯t believe the same. ¡°There is a sex video on here that says otherwise. There are also photos of a girl, naked, asleep in a hotel bed. The same girl in the video with him. And another thing. The video¡ªI am almost one hundred percent positive she didn¡¯t know he was recording it.¡± He paused for a moment. ¡°There are also many pictures of them together and text messages, where he told her he loved her. They are very, uh, passionate messages.¡± My head felt as if it might explode. That wasn¡¯t like Crosby. What had gotten into him? Who was the girl? Had she been married? FUCK! ¡°Her lover shot him? Is that what you¡¯re saying? He got mixed up with some woman who wasn¡¯t single?¡± Linc shook his head. ¡°That¡¯s just it¡ªI don¡¯t know. Crosby took pics of her at work, and I was able to find her there yesterday. See her for myself. She was there. She texted him the night he was killed, asking him what had happened. He never showed up. After that, she sent three more texts, spread out over the course of two weeks. Thest one said she¡¯d be waiting when he was ready to talk, but she wasn¡¯t going to text him again. ¡°She didn¡¯t have a wedding ring on her finger either. The two men who owned the food truck she works for ended up taking her home after she stood in the parking lot for over an hour. When she left work, I followed her. I have her address. I did a check on it, and I know that a Nick Talley rents the house, but without Levi¡¯s help, looking into the other details, that is all I could get. I trust my son, but the less those inside the family know, the better. It can get spread too easily. Eventually, your father will need to be told. He deserves answers, but if this is not why Crosby was shot, then I don¡¯t see why any of them ever have to know. Crosby wouldn¡¯t want Saylor hurt.¡± What did you do, little brother? Fucking hell! He had better not be six feet underground over a fuck. I¡¯d go to the address and burn the fucking house down with everyone in it. ¡°Can I see the phone?¡± I asked. My voice was hoarse. This wasn¡¯t something I¡¯d been prepared for. It was so hard to believe. Linc handed it over. I looked down at it as my throat tightened, to the point that it was painful. There he was, with his big-ass smile, but he wasn¡¯t looking at the phone. His focus was on the girl in his arms. She was smiling at the camera, but he seemedpletely captivated by her. There was no simrity between the female in that photo and Saylor. Yet he looked like she was the fucking sun and he could see nothing else. ¡°Fuck,¡± I hissed through my teeth. ¡°If that picture is hard to look at, then you might want to stop now,¡± Linc told me. He would have married Saylor one day. I¡¯d even asked him once if he thought he¡¯d ever want someone else, and he¡¯d looked at me like I was crazy, then said no. Who was this girl? Where had he met her? I didn¡¯t want to watch a video of him having sex. Instead, I went to the text messages. The first one was exactly three months and one week ago. I saw the name he¡¯d saved her number under and winced. ¡°My angel?¡± I asked. Linc let out a heavy sigh, and what he was going to tell me, I could see he didn¡¯t want to. ¡°I bought a burger from her when I went to find her. She was wearing a name tag. It said ¡­ Halo.¡± Linc¡¯s voice took an edge when he said her name. My eyes shot from the screen back up to look at him. ¡°Halo?¡± I repeated. ¡°Yes.¡± I had to take a minute to remain calm. Halo was thest word he¡¯d choked out. At least, that was what Than had said. We thought he¡¯d misunderstood or that he was so grief-stricken that he¡¯d made it up in his head. The word hadn¡¯t made sense. Than had said he struggled to move and looked panicked, then said Halo. What had he been trying to tell us?Content protected by N?v/el(D)rama.Org. ¡°Do you think he was saying she was why he¡¯d been shot?¡± The words came out clipped as my body shook. ¡°That is something I have questioned. But the text she sent the night he was shot was about him not showing up. Had he been leaving early to go see her? Than said that he¡¯d imed he had a headache and wanted to go. That he¡¯d only had one beer. From the looks of those texts, it could be he was worried about her. We have to also consider that she is in trouble too. Whoever shot him could be from her past, and Crosby got tangled up in it.¡± I wanted to shatter the phone against the wall, but it was all we had. Everyone had secrets, and this was Crosby¡¯s. I looked back down at the screen. My angel: This is my sister¡¯s number. Like I said, I don¡¯t have a phone, but I can be reached through this one. Crosby: All right, fine. I believe you. I wasn¡¯t sure you¡¯d even kept my number. If I didn¡¯t hear from you, I wasing back for another burger tomorrow night. My angel: Tember does make a mean burger. I wouldn¡¯t have med you. Crosby: Ah, beautiful, it wouldn¡¯t have been for the fucking burger, and you know it. What are you doing after work tomorrow? My angel: Going home. Don¡¯t be jealous that I lead such a thrilling, action-packed life. Crosby: I¡¯m jealous of every bastard who got to look at you today. Go out with me. I¡¯ll pick you up after work. My angel: There¡¯s a rodeo this weekend. I won¡¯t get off until 11. Crosby: I¡¯ll be there at 10:45, waiting. My angel: I¡¯ll smell like fried food and livestock. Crosby: We can go for a swim. My angel: Seriously? Crosby: I have never been more serious about anything in my life. I skimmed through the texts, unable to keep reading. Not once could I remember ever hearing him talk about or talk to Saylor this way. He had been obsessed with this girl he called his angel. He swore he loved her. Had told her she was all he could think about. I lifted my eyes to look at Linc. ¡°Did you read the part about a brother?¡± he asked me. I shook my head. ¡°No. I had to start skimming.¡± Linc¡¯s eyes darkened. ¡°She has a brother. A grade behind her. She¡¯s neen, by the way¡ªCrosby asked about her birthday in one of the texts. Anyway, she mentioned her brother¡¯s temper once or twice and needing to defuse a situation at home for him. I don¡¯t think either of them is close to their dad. There isn¡¯t much about him, but what is in there could be something. I¡¯m assuming Nick Talley is the dad. ¡°The call log is much more extensive. She and Crosby didn¡¯t text as much as they talked on the phone. It seems he saw her almost every night during hisst month.¡± Alive. Linc hadn¡¯t said that word, but that was what he¡¯d meant. I went to the photos and braced myself before scrolling through them. There were pictures of her doing random things. He had taken shots when she wasn¡¯t even looking. She didn¡¯t have Saylor¡¯ssh extensions, always-styled tinum-blonde hair, long and pointy hot-pink nails, or designer clothing. This girl was the opposite of her, it seemed, in every way. Darker hair. Most pictures had been taken at night with a sh, except the ones he took of her at work. Her hair was a unique shade of brown from what I could see. Her eyes weren¡¯t Saylor¡¯s dark blue, but a pale blue instead. One of the close-ups he¡¯d taken was of him kissing her cheek and herughing, and I could see freckles on her nose. The messy bed with her hair fanned out over the white sheets made me pause. Had she known he had taken pictures of her naked while she was asleep? Quickly moving past it, I found more, and although it felt twisted and wrong to look at these, I couldn¡¯t deny the fact that she had an incredible body. I turned off the phone, not wanting to see any more, and held it out to Linc. ¡°What¡¯s the address?¡± I asked. Linc studied me for a moment. ¡°You think you can do this? Keep a straight head?¡± This wasn¡¯t a question as to if I thought I could or not. I was going to find this girl, and I was going to find her brother. If they were the reason Crosby was dead, then I¡¯d kill her motherfucking brother while she watched and hold her by the hair of her head, forcing her to see him gasp and struggle to breathe as blood gurgled from his mouth. The exact same way it had Crosby¡¯s. ¡°Yes,¡± I replied. ¡°When you have proof, bring it to me. I¡¯ll go with you. You¡¯re not going alone. We don¡¯t know anything about these people.¡± I nodded, but said nothing more. The truth was, if I found out that her brother had killed mine, I wasn¡¯t sure how I¡¯d react. There was a good chance the small thread of sanity I was holding on to would snap, and I¡¯d go on a murderous rampage, killing everyone she loved. Tore Up: Chapter 3 Bills were stacked up on the kitchen counter. That was one of the few things that Iris had left behind. In the three days since they¡¯d left, five more bills had arrived. Rent would also be due in a few days, and Nick had yet toe back home. I had worked double shifts all week, and my tips weren¡¯t enough to cover the rent, but I could keep the electricity and water on if I had to. But if Nick didn¡¯te back, that wouldn¡¯t matter because if the rent was even one dayte, Jimmy Yerks, thendlord, would be knocking on the door. Stepping out of the shower, I took the towel that I had found in a pile of dirtyundry they hadn¡¯t taken. I had washed it and the set of twin sheets that she had stripped from one of the boys¡¯ mattresses. I was just thankful she hadn¡¯t wanted to take them with her. The sheets were all I¡¯d had to make a space on the floor to sleep on. I¡¯d folded the extra towel and used it as a pillow. I was lucky that it was the summer and warmth wasn¡¯t a requirement. I started to dry off when I heard footsteps, causing me to freeze, staring at myself in the mirror as if my reflection could tell me who it was. I listened carefully, my eyes shifting to the bathroom door that I hadn¡¯t locked. It had to be Nick. I wrapped the towel back around me and stood there, waiting to see if he called my name or said anything. He sounded as if he¡¯d walked into their bedroom. I cringed. I¡¯d never seen Nick angry. Not really. The look of disgust and disinterest I was ustomed to, but when Iris made him mad, he usually just walked out the door and didn¡¯t return for days. Several minutes passed, and I didn¡¯t hear anything. Reaching over, I grabbed my discarded shorts and tank to slip back on. I couldn¡¯t stay in here forever, and he had to know I was here. He¡¯d have heard the shower running when he came inside. I hung the towel back up to dry and took a deep breath before opening the door. Stepping out into the living room, I looked over at the room he had shared with Iris. I never spoke to him first. He¡¯d taught me long ago that he didn¡¯t like the sound of my voice. Being left here with just him was strange. We¡¯d never lived together alone¡ªat least that I could remember. The few months after my mother¡¯s death, I had been an infant, and I wasn¡¯t sure what he¡¯d done with me during that time. Again, things he hadn¡¯t told me. We had no rtionship. His tall form filled the doorway. There was a duffel bag in his right hand. He looked at me with the same color green eyes as Carina¡¯s. ¡°You¡¯ll need to be gone by the first,¡± he told me. This was what I¡¯d been worried about the most at night while Iy awake. ¡°Where are you going?¡± I asked him. My voice cracked, and I hated showing this man any emotion at all. Especially a weakness. I¡¯d spent so many of my earlier years trying to find ways to please him, only to have him ignore me and my attempts. ¡°Away,¡± he replied, then started walking toward the door. Panic at the reality of the situation hit me. This was happening. He was leaving me alone. ¡°I don¡¯t have anywhere to go,¡± I told him. He stopped and nced back at me. ¡°You¡¯re a grown woman now. Not my problem anymore. Iris did her job. Got you raised. Now, use that fucking face of your mother¡¯s and find a man to take care of you if you can¡¯t do it yourself.¡± My mother¡¯s face? He¡¯d never once mentioned her or that I looked like her. That wasn¡¯t the focus here though. He was walking away. I was about to be homeless. ¡°I can¡¯t use my face to get a man to take care of me! What does that even mean? I need time to save for this. I have been helping Iris pay the bills. I don¡¯t have money put away to just go get a ce to live.¡± I sounded like I was on the verge of tears, but I couldn¡¯t help it. He was my father. Somewhere deep inside, he had to care about me a little. He sighed heavily. ¡°You¡¯re neen years old, and you¡¯re not that fucking naive. You know what I mean, and you know what the fuck you look like. Learn to use it. I¡¯ve got other responsibilities.¡± Not once in my life had this man ever insinuated that I was even pretty. He¡¯d neverplimented me. I was the invisible family member where he was concerned. Now, he was standing here, telling me that he believed my looks could hook some man to take care of me. I shook my head in disbelief. ¡°What is it?!¡± I shouted. All the pain in my chest that I had kept down all these years from his neglect seemed to burst out from me at once. ¡°What did I do to you? Why do you hate me? Why can¡¯t you even manage to care about me at all? If this were Carina, you¡¯d be busting your ass to take care of her. But me? You tell me to go what, be a prostitute?¡± Hot tears rolled down my face. If he was going to just walk away, then I wanted to have those answers at least. I¡¯d never pushed him to acknowledge me, but right now, he was going to. ¡°You are hers.¡± He said the three words with the same calm response he did everything. But this time, there was somethingced in his tone. It wasn¡¯t anger. It was ¡­ pain. ¡°My mother¡¯s? So, because of my mother, you hate me?¡± He stood there silently, staring at me. The flicker of sadness in his eyes surprised me. I hadn¡¯t known the man could feel anything unless it concerned Carina. ¡°I don¡¯t hate you,¡± he said. ¡°But you are a reminder of her. Every year of your life, you looked more and more like her. Until you turned into a fucking replica. Looking at you is hard. I don¡¯t want to remember. I can¡¯t and survive.¡± I blinked as another tear broke free, and I reached up to wipe at my face. His voice had sounded as if it was agony to just talk about my mother. Had he loved her? Was that it? Her death had been too much for him? ¡°You loved her?¡± I asked. In my head, all the reasons for his disinterest in me was because of the way he¡¯d felt about her. I¡¯d never once considered he had loved her. He turned his head to look at the door instead of me. I could see his jaw work as he clenched his teeth. For a moment, I thought he wasn¡¯t going to respond, but just walk out. Never to be seen again¡ªat least by me. ¡°She was my fucking world, and because of you, I lost her.¡± Me? I had been an infant. ¡°What did I do?¡± I asked, feeling my throat close up. His shoulders rose and fell as he took a deep breath, but he didn¡¯t look at me. ¡°Your mother was ¡­ she was the most beautiful woman I¡¯d everid eyes on. She was full of light andughter, and she could make me feel as if everything would be okay. She was also fragile. Like a doll. Her life hadn¡¯t been easy, and she struggled with memories from her childhood. But I took care of her. Protected her. Then, she got pregnant. Throughout the pregnancy, she had her moments of fear. Unsure she could be a good mother because of the mother she had. I did all I could. I praised her. I reassured her. And you were born. Three days aftering home from the hospital, she withdrew. Got quiet. She would take care of you, but little else. She never wanted to leave the house.¡± He paused and sucked in a breath, then winced, as if the words were causing him actual pain. ¡°They told me it was postpartum depression. That, along with her mental issues she dealt with¡ªit was a badbination. There was too much emotional damage.¡± He swung his eyes back to me then. ¡°She left me. She took her life while I was at work. Your birth had done that to her. You broke her.¡± I stood there as a heaviness began to settle over me. It was suffocating. The weight on my chest was crushing. He began walking again, and I said nothing as he went to the door. This was it. He was going to walk out of this house and just leave me. My stepmother had left with my younger siblings. Ares was gone. Crosby hadpletely vanished. Why was it that I was so easy to leave? Everyone left me.Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org. I closed my eyes when the door closed behind Nick. Several minutes passed as I heard the engine in his truck, then the sound of him pulling out of the driveway. When I opened my eyes again, I looked toward the master bedroom. He¡¯d taken what he wanted and gone. All that was left in this house was mine. You¡¯d think I was used to feeling alone by now, but I¡¯d never truly understood what that was until this moment. This was alone. In a house I¡¯d lived in for most of my life. The memories of my life here, both good and bad, felt like ghosts in the emptiness. Tomorrow, I¡¯d have to find a ce to live. Nick had been so sure that my looks would be all I needed when even he¡¯d had no problem leaving me. Just like the only mother I¡¯d ever known, the woman who had given birth to me, and Crosby had. Holding on to the hope that Crosby would return, that there would be a good excuse, that he¡¯d called Carina¡¯s phone and not been able to get in touch with me was a waste of time. If he was going to call or text, he would have done so by now. Turning around, I walked into the bedroom I had shared with my sister. The sound of herughter seemed to be a faint whisper as I went over to my side of the closet to start packing my things. Sleep wasn¡¯t going toe anytime soon. Tore Up: Chapter 4 My eyes flew open as my heart mmed against my chest rapidly. It was dark in the room, but the unease that I wasn¡¯t alone felt like icy fingers crawling up my neck. The moon was still high in the sky, which meant I hadn¡¯t been asleep for long. Had I locked the door? I tried to remember, but when Nick had left me here, I hadn¡¯t been thinking clearly. I tried to tell myself I¡¯d had a bad dream and that was all this was, but the hairs on my arms were standing up. Something moved in the corner, and I opened my mouth to scream, not sure that anyone would hear me if I did. The figure was in front of me before the first sound tore from my throat. There was a sh of something shiny as the figure¡ªwho had to be a man because of his height and build¡ªlowered himself until his eyes met mine. The sight of the de in his hand silenced me as I stared at it, then back at him. He had a knife. There was a man in my bedroom with a knife. Oh God. ¡°I-I d-don¡¯t have any m-money.¡± I stuttered out the words. Had he not noticed he¡¯d broken into an empty house? Not to mention, it wasn¡¯t the kind of house that looked like it would have anything valuable in it. The man¡¯s mouth turned up into a sadistic smirk as his light eyes red at me with pure hatred. I didn¡¯t know this man. I didn¡¯t have enemies. This had to be some serial killer or a random psycho. ¡°Not here for money,¡± he replied in a deep voice that would be appealing¡ªif he wasn¡¯t in my bedroom in the dark with a knife. Was he going to kill me for sport? Or rape me, then kill me? I had to think. What did one say to a psychopath to get them to change their mind? I didn¡¯t have a weapon in this house, which I realized now was very poor nning on my part. That and the not making sure I¡¯d locked the door. ¡°Where is your brother?¡± he asked. My brother? Ares? What had Ares done? I knew he hadn¡¯t been hanging out with good guys this past year. Okay, fine. They were borderline criminals. He¡¯d been high more than once when he came home. I couldn¡¯t imagine Ares had done anything to warrant this though. I¡¯d told him those guys were going to get him in trouble. He¡¯dughed at me and rolled his eyes. ¡°Which one?¡± I asked him, although I knew good and well this was not about Alvin or Dennis. ¡°You¡¯ve got more than one?¡± he asked me. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and I could see a little better. I did a quick study of his face to see if he was familiar. Chiseled face, sharp jawline, short and scruffy facial hair, his dark hair wavy andyered. A bandanna was narrowly folded and tied around his head, like Rambo. Deep-set eyes that were a lighter color than just mere brown. It was too dark to tell exactly. Tattoos decorated his muscr arms and the hand that was currently caressing the de of his knife. Fantastic. I was going to be murdered by a man I¡¯d have considered hot in any other circumstance. ¡°How many brothers do you have?¡± he bit out, snapping my focus back to the situation rather than his wide shoulders. I blinked. ¡°Three,¡± I replied. ¡°But I doubt the ten-year-old or six-year-old pissed you off. Although I can tell you that I¡¯ve had my moments with them. They can be annoying.¡± What was I doing? Rambling on like an idiot. This was panic. That was what it was. ¡°The oldest brother. Where is he?¡± the man demanded. The deadly gleam in his eyes made me shiver. Ares, what have you done? ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I told him honestly. I mean, I did know he was at boot camp, but I wasn¡¯t sure where that was. I thought I had been told, and if given time, I could have remembered, but that was before this man had shown up in my room with a deadly weapon. ¡°Don¡¯t fucking lie to me, bitch,¡± he warned, then grabbed my hair with one hand, jerking my head back, and ced the sharp de to my neck. I did not want to die this way. I thought I¡¯d have preferred a gun. A bullet seemed less painful. My hand went to my stomach as realization hit me. I¡¯d been trying not to think about it. Pushing it off because I had no idea what I was going to do. But being faced with death¡ªthe fact that if he killed me, he would also be killing the baby inside me¡ªturned up my terror to a new level. ¡°I¡¯m not lying,¡± I said. ¡°Did you notice this house is empty? I am the only one here, and everything else is gone.¡± He didn¡¯t release me; if anything, his grip on my hair went from ufortable to painful. ¡°Where is your family?¡± What was the answer that would keep me alive? If I knew what Ares had done, then maybe I could fix this. ¡°They left. My stepmom took all my siblings and left while I was at work,¡± I told him. He was silent for a few seconds, and I wondered if I¡¯d said the wrong thing. Made myself a liability, and now, he was going to slice my throat. Why was a guy who looked like this one going around killing people? He even smelled good. It was an odd thing to notice, but he was very close to me and it was hard to miss. ¡°Your older brother went with them?¡± he asked me. I thought for a second, then decided to go with the truth. ¡°No. He left back in June for basic training.¡± ¡°What day?¡± he snarled, sounding like he was ready to end me. ¡°Uh, I¡¯m not sure. I think,¡± I stammered. But I did know. He had left the morning after Crosby was supposed to meet me and never came. ¡°You think?¡± I swallowed and felt the sting of the de when my throat constricted. ¡°Yes. It¡¯s been a rough week, okay? And you¡¯ve got a knife at my throat.¡± He yanked my hair, and the bite from the knife broke skin. A tear ran down my face, and I was afraid to breathe. ¡°What day did he fucking leave?¡± ¡°It was two months ago,¡± I whispered. ¡°He left on a, uh ¡­ Saturday morning.¡± I knew the date because I¡¯d been looking at a calendar all that week. Counting how many dayste my period was. Praying it came. ¡°June 22.¡± The man lowered his face until it was inches from mine. ¡°You have twenty-four hours to find him. If you try and run, I¡¯ll kill you, then find your family and kill them too. Do you understand me?¡± Lucifer. This must be how the Devil appeared. Beautiful and evil. ¡°Yes,¡± I replied. Twenty-four hours didn¡¯t give me much time, but I could find No, his best friend, and ask him what Ares had done. I¡¯d have to tell this man the truth about where he was. It wasn¡¯t like he could go to boot camp and kill Ares there. He was under the Army¡¯s protection. However, the rest of my siblings and I would have no safety. This man could kill us. ¡°Clock starts ticking now,¡± he said as he let my hair go and the de was taken from my neck.Content protected by N?v/el(D)rama.Org. I wanted to weep in relief, but stayed silent. The man stood up. He had to be over Ares¡¯s six foot and Crosby¡¯s six foot two. He was definitely more fiercely built. He didn¡¯t need a weapon to look intimidating. I held the sheet up to my chest and waited for him to leave. I wouldn¡¯t be going back to sleep, but I was going to go lock the door and check all the windows. ¡°Why are you doing this?¡± I asked him. He narrowed his gaze, but in the darkness, with him that far away, I couldn¡¯t make out his expression. ¡°You don¡¯t know?¡± Why would I know? Did I look like I knew? I shook my head. He didn¡¯t say anything at first, but instead stared at me. As if he could see into my soul and read my secrets. I was trembling. I might be going into shock. I wasn¡¯t sure what that felt like, but I was cold. So very cold for it to bete August in Mississippi. ¡°I don¡¯t make threats I don¡¯t keep. Find him,¡± the man said, then turned and headed out the door. Was this about drugs? Had Ares gotten involved with some dealer? That man didn¡¯t look anything like what I thought a drug lord would look like, but what did I know about the criminal world? Besides, it had been dark in here. He could have something wrong with him in the light. Maybe he had bad teeth, and I hadn¡¯t paid attention. The door to the house mmed closed, and I jumped up to go run and lock it. Once the bolt clicked into ce, I let out a gasp, then a sob as what had just happened sank in. I¡¯d almost died. I reached up and touched my neck, then turned to go look in the bathroom mirror. Before I got there, I knew that the warm, sticky feeling was blood, but when I saw the mark where the knife had been, my knees went weak. Oh God. This man wanted to kill me. I grabbed the sink, trying to ovee the wave of nausea. It hit me hard, and I barely made it to the toilet before what little food I had in me came back up, along with the water I¡¯d drunk earlier. I continued until I was dry-heaving. My legs went out from under me, and I sank to the floor. There was the briefest of moments when I¡¯d thought, Why not let him do it? No one would care. But it wasn¡¯t just me anymore. I was responsible for another life. That was the only thing keeping me going. I wasn¡¯t sure I wouldn¡¯t just give up at this point if it wasn¡¯t for the baby. The next thing was, I had to decide the best way to handle the man hell-bent on murdering me if I didn¡¯t tell him where to find Ares. I knew I was going to have to tell him, but I also wasn¡¯t sure staying here was a good idea. Being alone would make it easier for him to just kill me anyway. I reached up and flushed the toilet, then rested my forehead against the tiled wall beside me. If only Crosby woulde back, I knew he¡¯d help me, even if he didn¡¯t want the baby. Believing the same guy who had sworn he loved me but would just ghost me like this was hard. I wasn¡¯t going to demand anything from him, but if I just had someone who cared, I wouldn¡¯t be so alone. Tore Up: Chapter 5 ¡°What were you thinking, Crosby?¡± I muttered as I watched the girl carry out two boxes and set them on the front porch, then bring out two ck garbage sacks and a duffel bag. She might be a looker, but she was also backwoods trash and had no doubt been after my brother¡¯s money. Whatever kinky-sex shit she¡¯d done to get him so obsessed with her cunt, it had worked. Now, he was dead because of it. I had no proof it was her brother, but there was no other reason for what had happened. Seeing that run-down house she lived in, I couldn¡¯t figure out why her brother would want to kill Crosby. Wouldn¡¯t they have seen Crosby as a gold mine? Why would he want to end that? Maybe he was her stepbrother, and this was some sick jealousy thing. If they weren¡¯t blood-rted and he lived in a house with a sister who looked like her and was a freak in bed, then he was probably as fucked up in the head over her as Crosby must have been. It was real convenient the brother had left town right after Crosby was shot. Seemed like he had something to run and hide from. Not only that, the others were now gone. The whole fucking family looked guilty to me. I¡¯d kill them all. Acid burned my stomach as hatred pumped through my veins. I wouldn¡¯t kill them all. The little kids, I couldn¡¯t off them, but they were gonna be motherfucking orphans if the parents were involved. Why the hell the girl was still here, alone, made no sense though. I¡¯d think they would have taken her and left someone else behind to clean up the house before leaving. Perhaps they thought if someone came looking for them, her appeal would be enough to keep her alive. Sorry, folks. I don¡¯t care about her or her cunt. I¡¯d had a lot of hot pussy, unlike my brother, who had known nothing but Saylor. The girl came walking around the side of the house, this time with a bike. What the hell was she doing with a bike? I watched her go out to the road, then get on it and begin to pedal in the opposite direction. She was headed toward town. I waited until she was out of sight before slowly following her. If she was going to work, she was in for a rude awakening. She no longer had a job. Bitch was about to find out they¡¯d fucked with the wrong family.Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org. Tore Up: Chapter 6 I parked my bike behind the Urban Bistro food truck. I¡¯d arrived two hours early because I needed to talk to Alf and Tember about my living situation and see if I could possibly get someone in to rece me today. I was almost to the door of the truck when Tember stepped out. He looked at me, and the regret that crossed his expression was concerning He was always the chipper, upbeat one. Alf was the moody one. Tember always said they had a grumpy-sunshine romance. ¡°Hey, Tember,¡± I began. ¡°I know I¡¯m early, but I needed to talk to y¡¯all.¡± Alf¡¯s body filled the doorway behind him. ¡°Halo,¡± he said with a simr expression. What was wrong with them? Had something happened? I really hoped they didn¡¯t need me today. ¡°Uh, yeah, good morning,¡± I replied. Tember looked back at him, and they both seemed to be upset. Then, Alf cleared his throat and turned his eyes back to me. ¡°Halo, I¡¯m sorry, but we have to let you go.¡± I stood there, shifting my eyes from one to the other. Was this a joke? They didn¡¯t normally kid like this, but they were known to joke around with the employees. This was bad timing if it was. ¡°What?¡± I asked, looking at Tember. If one was going to crack, it would be Tember. He was softhearted. But his face looked like he was about to burst into tears. ¡°We are overstaffed, and the budget is tight. We¡¯re cutting back. I¡¯m sorry. If you need a rmendation, please use us. We will give you an excellent one.¡± I was so confused. Justst week, they had praised me, telling the evening shift that I was their hardest worker and they were going to cut everyone¡¯s hours to give me more if they didn¡¯t step it up. ¡°I know this is sudden, but we had to make a decision. Money is tight,¡± Tember said, tears glistening in his eyes. ¡°It just has to be this way. But go on and apply at a restaurant. You will get a new job in no time. Like Alf said, use us as your rmendation.¡± I wanted to ask why me, but that seemed selfish. They¡¯d obviously struggled with the decision. But I could think of a few other employees who rarely showed up on time or at all and some who took more smoke breaks than allowed. Maybe they had been cut too though. I hated to make this harder on them than it was. ¡°Okay,¡± I replied, my voice barely above a whisper. Tember started toe toward me, and Alf grabbed his arm, pulling him back as his gaze scanned the area nervously. ¡°Come inside,¡± he told Tember gruffly. Tember seemed to understand his reaction and nodded, then went back into the food truck and shut the door without another word. I stood there, alone again. This had really just happened. I¡¯d lost my job. My heart sank even lower as I walked slowly back to my bike. Crosby wouldn¡¯t know where I was if he ever decided toe find me. I had his number, but he¡¯d not responded to my texts. I¡¯d left him alone, hoping he¡¯de back after some time. He hadn¡¯t, and now, it was toote. At the rate people were getting rid of me, I was even more convinced there was something about me that turned them away. When I reached the bike, I climbed on and started back out onto the main road. Where did I go now? To the house? To find a job? Could I even rent a ce to live if I didn¡¯t have a job? What did one need to rent a ce? If I could just get in touch with Ares, he could tell me who this guy was who was trying to kill me and what to do. How though? With my family gone, the only other person who would have talked to Ares and might know what was going on was No. Going anywhere near him and the people those two had started hanging out with made me cringe, but I had no other choice. No had never held a knife to my throat, so there was that. He was definitely the lesser of the two evils. There was a very good chance that No would know why this man was hell-bent on finding and killing Ares. If it came down to it, he might even let me sleep on his sofa for a few nights. I immediately shut that thought down, thinking about his apartment. I knew the kind of parties they had there. I¡¯d seen pictures on Ares¡¯s phone. There was a chance I could get an STD from that sofa. The sun was brutal, and I was coated in a thinyer of sweat when I parked outside No¡¯s apartment building. I nced up at it and wished there were anywhere else I could go. There were probably drugs in that apartment. I wrapped my arms around my waist and contemted this before I gave in and headed for the stairs. I had no choice. With no family, no job, and soon-to-be nowhere to live while being ghosted by the father of the baby I was carrying, being picky about where I got answers from wasn¡¯t an option. Rapping on his door twice, I stood back and waited. God, please let No be who answers and not some druggie gang person or something. Not that God was listening to me. I was pretty sure he hated me the way my father did. I waited two minutes before knocking again. There was a shout inside that sounded like someone called No¡¯s name. At least I knew he was in there. I was about to knock again when the door opened slowly, and a shirtless No answered. His ck hair was sticking up everywhere as he squinted against the sunlight. When he finally blinked and focused enough to see who it was, he stilled for a moment. ¡°Halo,¡± he said in a raspy voice. ¡°Good morning, No. Sorry to bother you, but I have a bit of a problem, and I need your help.¡± He frowned as he scanned the area behind me before stepping back. ¡°Uh, okay,¡± he said, moving so I coulde inside. He looked around again before closing the door and locking it. The main area¡ªor living room, or kitchen, or whatever it was¡ªsmelled like weed, dirty feet, and moldy food. There were empty liquor bottles, ashtrays, a couple of used needles, clothing, boxes of pizza, and some fast-food bags littering the space. A guy sat up on the sofa, and I realized he wasn¡¯t just shirtless, but naked too. I snapped my gaze off him and turned to No. Yep, not about to stay here. It would be healthier and safer to sleep on the street. I¡¯d find arge box. ¡°Halo, Ronnie. Ronnie, this is Ares¡¯s sister,¡± No said, then walked toward the kitchen. ¡°What¡¯s up, Halo?¡± he asked as he jerked open the fridge. ¡°Seems like it must be bad if you came here.¡± No kidding. It was life or death. That was the only reason I would havee here. I wasn¡¯t sure if the pungent smell I was breathing in was toxic or not. Had he ever cleaned this ce? I knew he¡¯d moved in here a little over a year ago. Ares had been pumped about it. ¡°Has Ares called you since he left?¡± I asked him. He shook his head and took a drink from a carton of orange juice. ¡°No. Why?¡± I could feel the other guy in the room looking at me, and it made me even more ufortable. I moved closer to the kitchen. ¡°I, uh ¡­¡± I didn¡¯t want to chance ncing at this Ronnie guy and seeing his junk again. One time was enough. ¡°Can I talk to you in private?¡± I asked. He leaned against the counter and cut his eyes back over my shoulder. ¡°Give us a minute,¡± he told Ronnie. ¡°And put on some fucking pants.¡± I stood there with my arms crossed over my chest, staring at the floor since it was a safe location for my eyes, while the guy muttered a curse. His footsteps went down the hallway, and then a door mmed. I lifted my gaze back to No, who was studying me. ¡°What¡¯s up?¡± ¡°Iris left with the kids four days ago. Nick came home, took his things, and then leftst night,¡± I told him. His eyes widened. ¡°Shit,¡± he said, setting the orange juice down. ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s not why I¡¯m here. It gets worse. Do you by any chance know why a man would want Ares dead?¡± No¡¯s oliveplexion paled. ¡°Dead?¡± he asked as if he hadn¡¯t heard me correctly, but his reaction said he had. In fact, there was something in his dark eyes that said he knew why. ¡°Yes. Dead. A man was in my bedroomst night and¡±¡ªI pointed to the bandage on my neck¡ª¡°held a de to my throat and demanded I tell him where Ares is.¡± ¡°Fuck,¡± he hissed, straightening from his stance. ¡°How did he get in? Did you hear him? What else did he say?¡± ¡°I think I left the door unlocked. I woke up terrified. I could feel someone in the room with me. He said I had twenty-four hours to tell him where Ares was or he would kill me and the rest of my family. I¡¯m gonna tell him. Ares is safe, but me and the others? Not so much. But I need to know why and what he did. I¡¯m trying to decide if this guy is going to kill me anyway. Should I be alone in that house tonight?¡± No ran a hand through his hair. ¡°Fuck, fuck, fuck,¡± he chanted as he walked over to the sofa and gripped the back of it. ¡°Dammit!¡± This wasn¡¯t helping me. I needed answers. ¡°What did he do, No?¡± I demanded. No shook his head. ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± he lied. ¡°Yes, you do! I need to know. This man ising back.¡± No let his head fall forward as he groaned. ¡°Fucking hell, Ares.¡± ¡°My family left me, I won¡¯t have anywhere to live in two days, and, oh, I just got fired this morning. So, you see, this is just one of many problems I seem to have. I don¡¯t have time for you to panic or rant. I need to know what I am dealing with. Is it drugs? Did y¡¯all get drugs from someone and not pay them?¡± No shook his head and turned to look at me. ¡°It¡¯s not drugs,¡± he said. ¡°Ares stopped drugs back when he decided to enlist in the Army.¡± I threw up my hands. ¡°Then, what is it? Don¡¯t tell me you don¡¯t know because you do.¡± He rubbed his face, looking at me like he¡¯d rather jump off the balcony than tell me what my brother had done. There was a knock on the door, and he looked relieved for the interruption. ¡°It¡¯s probably Ronnie¡¯s bitch, tracking him down. She¡¯ll keep banging and start yelling if I don¡¯t get it,¡± he said, walking over to the door and jerking it open. It wasn¡¯t a female. No was thrown back so hard that hended on his butt in a loud crash as his body knocked over several of the empty liquor bottles. A muchrger guy walked into the apartment, closing the door behind him. I sucked in a breath and held it. He was here, and I¡¯d been wrong. In the light of day, he was even more attractive. And he had a gun in his right hand, pointed at No. ¡°I didn¡¯t do it, man,¡± No told him, holding up both hands. ¡°I swear it!¡± The man tilted his head, and the sinister gleam in his eyes lifted to me. Topaz. His eyes were topaz. They were breathtaking, but they belonged to a man who was holding a gun and wanted to kill me. ¡°You said I had twenty-four hours,¡± I blurted. He motioned to No with the gun in his hand. ¡°I lied. You did as expected and led me to answers.¡± ¡°He¡¯s not here! Tell him, Halo! He¡¯s gone.¡± Those eyes swung back to No. ¡°Then, where the fuck is he?¡± Oh God. We were all going to die. I put both hands on my stomach, as if that were enough to protect the life inside me. If he shot me, my hands weren¡¯t going to do anything. ¡°Ares enlisted in the Army after graduation. He left for boot camp two months ago.¡± Rage lit his expression as he lifted his arm and pointed the gun at me. ¡°You lied to mest night.¡± I shook my head. ¡°No. No, I don¡¯t know where boot camp is. I nned on telling you this tonight.¡± ¡°You expect me to believe that? Why wait? Come here to see this guy? Hmm? What was it you were warning him about? I told you if you ran, I¡¯d kill you and your entire family.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not it. You don¡¯t understand,¡± I replied just as a bullet silently whizzed past me and into the cab, causing something to shatter inside. A cry tore from my mouth, and I dropped to the floor. ¡°WHOA!¡± No shouted. ¡°Don¡¯t kill her! She didn¡¯t do shit! I swear it!¡± ¡°That was a warning. If I¡¯d wanted to kill her just now, she¡¯d be dead,¡± he replied. Another sob escaped me, and I ducked my head, covering my mouth. Wishing I could crawl into a small hole and hide. He¡¯d shot at me. Oh God, oh God, oh God. ¡°What is it you want? She told you he¡¯s at boot camp,¡± No told him as his voice cracked. ¡°I want vengeance. That¡¯s what I fucking want,¡± he drawled. ¡°An eye for an eye might be all I can have right now.¡± ¡°Wait!¡± No shouted. I was afraid to look up at either of them. ¡°She¡¯s pregnant.¡± His words, however, caused my head to snap up, and I stared at No in shock. How did he know? I¡¯d not told a soul other than Crosby. ¡°And you think I care?¡± The man sounded disgusted. No¡¯s gaze met mine. ¡°If the vengeance you¡¯re seeking is for Crosby, then, yes, I do.¡± Crosby? I sat up from my crouched position. A cold chill ran through my body as I stared at No, then looked at the other man. Why were they talking about Crosby and getting vengeance for him? ¡°What does that mean, No?!¡± I demanded, my main concern no longer being the gun. The man swung his weapon back to No. ¡°I¡¯d like that answer too.¡± I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and looked over to see Ronnie with his own gun pointed at the stranger. I froze, wanting to warn the man because I needed to know what he had to do with Crosby. It was on the tip of my tongue to say something when the man moved so fast that I would have missed it if I¡¯d blinked. The crack of the gunshot made me jump just before Ronnie fell back, hitting the wall as the gun dropped from his hand. I gasped in horror as blood oozed from between his eyes. Covering my mouth, I was sure I was about to be sick. ¡°Fuck!¡± No swore. ¡°I told Ares not to, okay? But he¡¯d found a pregnancy test hidden in the trash. Then, he got Carina¡¯s phone and checked it or some shit. He looked at their messages or something. He got real fucking worked up over it. Halo had been talking to Crosby a lot, and he had heard it¡ªI guess listening from another room. Then, he listened in on thest call she made to him. She told Crosby about the positive test.¡± He shook his head. ¡°Ares has a fucking temper, and he is real protective of Halo. I told him not to take the damn gun and go hunt him down.¡± I stared at No as all the blood drained from my face. I heard a wail and realized it was me. Wrapping my arms around my stomach, I began to rock. This wasn¡¯t real. This was a nightmare. This couldn¡¯t be happening. No. Everything was fine. It was fine. Just fine. Another click from the gun, and I heard the heavy weight of a body falling with a thud onto the floor. I didn¡¯t look. I stared straight ahead. Not real. Not happening. If I looked, it would be real. I couldn¡¯t look. Whatever they had been talking about, I misunderstood it. That was all. ckbat boots stopped in front of me. They were big, like the rest of him. I kept rocking. ¡°Is it his?¡± the deep voice asked. Is it his? The baby. ¡°Crosby¡¯s,¡± I whispered. ¡°The baby is Crosby¡¯s.¡± ¡°Get up!¡± he barked at me. I shook my head and rocked faster. ¡°Where is Crosby?¡± I asked. The hysteria in my voice made it high-pitched. I was losing it. A hand wrapped around my arm and jerked me up to my feet. Although it was painful, I didn¡¯t cry out. That pain didn¡¯tpare to the agony unfurling inside me. The hand tightened on my arm and shook me. ¡°You really don¡¯t know?¡± The hate he felt saturated his tone. I shook my head as my vision blurred. I could hear him grinding his teeth. ¡°He¡¯s dead.¡± ¡°NO!¡± I shouted, shaking my head and trying to pull my arm free. ¡°NO!¡± My voice sounded like someone else. I didn¡¯t recognize it. He held me up until my feet barely touched the ground. ¡°Your brother shot him. All because you spread your legs like a fucking whore!¡± ¡°No, no, no, no,¡± I chanted, feeling like the room was spinning. A hard p snapped my head back, silencing me. ¡°Shut up!¡± he roared. Reality in all its horrific truth started to creep over me. He began pulling me with him as he walked through the room, back toward the door, kicking Ronnie¡¯s body out of the way. A strange numbness settled in my chest. I turned to look back and saw No lying there. His lifeless eyes staring at nothing. ¡°Take a good look,¡± he snarled. ¡°If the DNA test says that¡¯s not my little brother¡¯s kid inside you, then you¡¯re next. Unless your brother wants toe home and take your ce.¡± Little brother. I turned to look up at the man holding my arm. This was Crosby¡¯s brother.All text ? N?velD(r)a''ma.Org. ¡°Bane,¡± I said, remembering the name. Crosby had talked about him more than once. Emotion flickered in his eyes as he jerked me from the apartment and closed the door. He said nothing as we walked down the stairs, and he took me to a ck Silverado truck. Although I got inside willingly, he still shoved me as if I were trying to fight him. Ares had killed Crosby. I wasn¡¯t dreaming. There was no nightmare to wake up from. Tore Up: Chapter 7 ¡°Get the doctor here,¡± I told Linc, pacing outside the door of the small cabin he kept hidden on the back side of his property. I¡¯d called him thirty minutes ago. What had taken him so long? ¡°What did you do?¡± he asked me, his eyes narrowing. ¡°What I was supposed to do. Find out who¡¯d killed my brother.¡± I pointed at the door where I¡¯d left the girl responsible for his death. ¡°She¡¯s pregnant, and I need to know if it¡¯s Crosby¡¯s. I can¡¯t kill her if it is.¡± Linc stalked past me with a stern expression. ¡°What the fuck, Bane?! I didn¡¯t tell you to go take the girl. How do you know she¡¯s pregnant?¡±N?velDrama.Org: text ? owner. He jerked open the door to go inside the cabin. He stopped when he saw her. ¡°And why the hell is she tied up like a goddamn criminal?¡± he barked. There was no reason for that. She hadn¡¯t fought me once. I¡¯d just wanted to hurt someone. Knowing her pregnancy andck of protection andmon sense were why my brother was dead had made me fucking livid. I was mad at Crosby, too, but he wasn¡¯t here to yell at. Fucking around with someone like her? He¡¯d have known to use a condom. ¡°Tell him!¡± I yelled at her. She blinked and lifted her eyes to Linc. ¡°I¡¯m pregnant.¡± Linc looked back at me. ¡°Seriously? That¡¯s why she¡¯s in there? She told you she was pregnant and you lost your shit? Why does the side of her face look like she¡¯s been pped?¡± I red at her. Hating that she existed. That she was what my brother had lost his life over. He knew the answer to that. ¡°She¡¯s the reason Crosby was killed. Her brother found out she was pregnant. Assumed it was Crosby¡¯s, just like she did. When we all know a girl like that one gets knocked up, she¡¯s gonna choose the guy with the most money to call the daddy. That could be anybody¡¯s kid. I might have already killed the daddy.¡± I seethed, thinking about it. ¡°And I pped her to shut her up. She was losing her shit.¡± Understanding was clear on Linc¡¯s face. He wasn¡¯t looking at me like he thought I¡¯d lost my mind anymore. ¡°I see,¡± he said, then walked over to the chair I¡¯d tied her in. ¡°Hello, Halo,¡± he said to her. ¡°My name is Linc. If I untie you, are you nning on attacking me or using one of your hidden weapons to harm me?¡± he asked sarcastically as he cut his eyes at me to prove his point. She shook her head, looking so fucking forlorn. Her golden ticket was dead. Of course she was upset. I was about to prove it wasn¡¯t my brother¡¯s kid. Crosby would have used protection. He would have known better. She would be without his money and her life if Linc didn¡¯t take her and hide her from me. Unless that brother of hers showed up. He was who I really wanted dead. Linc untied her wrists, then squatted down and untied her ankles. He looked at me as he stood back up. ¡°That was a little tight, don¡¯t you think?¡± She had some marks on her skin. So what? Crosby was dead because she was a lying slut. He looked back at her. ¡°I¡¯m going to call and have a doctore take your blood to test for the paternity of your baby.¡± She barely moved her head in a nod. ¡°Results aren¡¯t immediate, although I can have them expedited. Until then, it¡¯s best that you don¡¯t go home. If I let you call home and give an excuse to your parents, will you say exactly what I tell you to?¡± She dropped her gaze back to herp. ¡°I don¡¯t have parents or a home.¡± He swung his gaze back to me. ¡°Her house is empty. She said her family moved.¡± Linc was being annoyingly nice to her. I didn¡¯t like it. She didn¡¯t deserve any kindness. ¡°Can you exin that to me?¡± A small sigh made her shoulders rise and fall. Her wounded-bird bullshit wasn¡¯t gonna work on me. Linc needed to get past her looks, and he¡¯d see the act. ¡°My stepmother and three younger siblings moved out while I was at work. I hadn¡¯t been unaware of it until I came home and everything was gone. My father was out of town, and when he came back a few dayster, he saw they¡¯d left, and he left too.¡± Linc frowned. ¡°Where did they expect you to go?¡± She shrugged. ¡°They didn¡¯t care. Just not with either of them.¡± That right there told you she had to be a bitch. Why else would her own father not give a shit? They all wanted to get rid of her. Linc looked at me as if I were the cause of this, and then he turned back to her. ¡°What was your n? You¡¯re pregnant.¡± She twisted her hands in herp. ¡°I was working on that. But things kept happening, and now, I¡¯m here.¡± Linc shoved his hands into the front of his jeans. ¡°When was thest time you saw Crosby?¡± he asked her. At the sound of his name, she flinched and closed her eyes tightly. ¡°Two months ago,¡± she said just above a whisper. ¡°He wasing to see me after work. I¡¯d told him when my period waste, he gave me money to get a test, and it was positive. I called him that morning to tell him.¡± She stopped and swallowed hard. ¡°When he didn¡¯t show up, what did you do?¡± he asked her, although we both had read the texts. We knew she¡¯d texted him a few times about not showing up. ¡°I borrowed my sister¡¯s phone and texted him. He didn¡¯t respond. I tried again a few more times, then left him alone because I thought¡ª¡± She covered her face with her hands as her shoulders shook, and a gasping sound came out. Linc¡¯s concerned frown swung to me. He was buying this. The man was weak when it came to beautiful women. It was his downfall. The reason his wife had left him years ago. Although I wouldn¡¯t call Halo a beautiful woman. She was still a girl. A real fucking attractive one. ¡°She¡¯s a female. What her brother did isn¡¯t her fault. We will find her brother, and you can get your vengeance. But understand me¡ªthis is not an eye-for-an-eye situation. She¡¯s a female. A young one who is pregnant. Regardless of whose baby it is, she is pregnant, Bane. She¡¯s not the one who dies. She didn¡¯t pull the goddamn trigger.¡± She was wiping at her face again, her head bent forward. Okay, fine. Maybe killing a pregnant girl wasn¡¯t actually something I could do. But I wanted her to watch her brother die. Let her see him suffer. I didn¡¯t tell Linc that yet. But the day wasing, and when it did, she would be there to witness it. ¡°Okay,¡± I replied. He looked back at her. ¡°No one can know about her until the resultse back. If the baby is Crosby¡¯s, then the painful truth going to feel bad about it. She was alive. Crosby wasn¡¯t. Tore Up: Chapter 8 Linc had left shortly after Bane, saying he¡¯d be back with food. I locked the door behind him, then went through the cabin to make sure the windows were all locked. There was just the one door. The living area and kitchen were connected when you walked inside. It had a firece and only enough room for a sofa. There was no table in the kitchen because it was too small for that, but it had two barstools. There was a doorway that led into a bedroom with a double bed and a nightstand. To the right was a curtain that was open, and behind it stood a w-foot tub, a sink, and a toilet. I hadn¡¯t even asked whose cabin this was. The overwhelming ache that sat heavy on my chest made everything else in my life unimportant. Crosby was dead. A tear rolled down my face, and I sucked in a breath. It was my fault. Bane had every reason to hate me. I sat down on the sofa and stared at the empty hearth. I had no idea where I was, why I was here, what was happening. These people, Crosby¡¯s family¡ªthey¡¯d just found out my brother had killed him, and they weren¡¯t taking me to the police. Demanding I tell them. Getting Ares pulled out of boot camp and arrested for murder. I had no one to call. No one to talk to about this. I didn¡¯t know what was going to happen next, but I didn¡¯t deserve to know anything. Because Bane had been right, I didn¡¯t die. Crosby had. I dropped my head into my hands. Just this morning, I¡¯d thought my situation couldn¡¯t get worse. This was something I had not seening. I¡¯d never expected Ares to do something like this. And he¡¯d been reading my texts? Why?! Why had he cared about what I had been texting to Crosby? Bane had killed No. Just shot him. Ronnie had held a gun on him, and I guessed I could understand him shooting Ronnie, but Bane killed him, not just injured him. We had walked out of the apartment, leaving their dead bodies there. For who to find? Would the police find my fingerprints on something? What happened when they came looking for me and questioned me? My life had never been stable, but guns and death hadn¡¯t been involved. My thoughts went to the conversation between Bane and Linc. I trusted Linc, although I had no reason to. I didn¡¯t even know who he was. I thought he was rted to Crosby because he¡¯d mentioned family more than once, but how he was rted, I didn¡¯t know. He seemed to think my being pregnant would devastate Crosby¡¯s parents and whoever Saylor was. I¡¯d never heard Crosby say that name, and he had never mentioned a sister, but if she was his family, then what else could she be? They would all hate me, and I would understand why. They might even put the me of the deaths in the apartment on my head when the cops showed up. I looked around at the cabin. Why was Linc the one that Bane had called? It seemed like he¡¯d have called his dad if he wasn¡¯t going to take me to the police station to tell them about Ares, which was what I had expected him to do. But it had been clear Linc was in charge. Even Bane, who had no problem killing people¡ªme included¡ªhad obeyed him. Why was that? This was all so very odd. I heard booted steps on the porch, and I stood up, staring at the door. The knob turned, but I¡¯d locked it. Then, there was a knock. ¡°It¡¯s Linc,¡± his voice called out. ¡°And I brought the doctor.¡± I walked over to open the door. Linc was holding tworge paper bags in his hands, which appeared full. ¡°I also got you some groceries,¡± he said as I stepped back so he coulde inside. ¡°Halo, this is Dr. Burl. He is here to take your blood sample for the paternity test. Bane¡¯s cheek has already been swabbed.¡± I watched as Linc began to put the items in the bags away. ¡°It¡¯s nice to meet you, Halo,¡± the older gentleman said. He didn¡¯t look like a doctor. He was wearing jeans, cowboy boots, and a short-sleeved id button-up shirt. His gray hair was cut short, as was his beard. ¡°Why did you swab Bane¡¯s cheek?¡± I asked, ncing back at Linc. ¡°When the, uh ¡­¡± The doctor paused for a moment, and I saw sorrow flicker in his gaze. ¡°When the potential father isn¡¯t avable to test, then their sibling¡¯s DNA can be tested for rtion to the fetus.¡± This doctor must be close to them. Was he rted to Crosby? He¡¯d seemed to struggle with mentioning Crosby. His death must have been painful for him too. ¡°I see,¡± was my response. The doctor set down his ck leather bag on the coffee table. ¡°Do you know how far along you are?¡± I shook my head. I knew very little about pregnancy. Babies I knew about. I¡¯d helped with my three youngest siblings. I¡¯d done almost everything for Dennis but nurse him. ¡°When was the first day of yourst period?¡± he asked me. I had to focus. I knew it, but I wasn¡¯t thinking very clearly. My thoughts were all over the ce. ¡°Um, well ¡­ I was supposed to start my period on June 15. Sometimes, I¡¯m a couple of dayste, so I didn¡¯t really worry until I was almost a weekte.¡± I hadn¡¯t told Crosby right away. I¡¯d held on to hope that it would show up. The doctor nodded and pulled out his phone. ¡°And would you say your normal cycle is twenty-eight days?¡± I nodded, then added, ¡°Yes.¡± He tapped out something on his phone. ¡°Well then, you¡¯re around fourteen weeks. You are far enough along that you will have plenty of fetal cells circting in your bloodstream to test Bane¡¯s DNA against it.¡± I wished he¡¯d stop saying Bane¡¯s name. This was Crosby¡¯s baby. One he would never see or hold. My eyes began to burn, and I dropped my gaze to the floor. ¡°Why don¡¯t you have a seat for me on the sofa?¡± he said. ¡°Linc, could you bring her a ss of juice? She¡¯s pale, and taking her blood isn¡¯t going to help that.¡± ¡°Orange or apple, Halo?¡± Linc asked me. I didn¡¯t want anything, but I hadn¡¯t eaten all day. ¡°Apple,¡± I replied, sitting down. Everything felt as if I were standing off in a corner, watching someone else¡¯s life. It couldn¡¯t be mine. ¡°How long does it take?¡± I asked him as he tied a rubber string around my upper arm. ¡°For you, it will only take a day or so. Two at the most. I have the sources to get this done immediately. Typically, it takes a week or more.¡± A day. I¡¯d stay in this cabin for a day, and then they¡¯d all know. What then? Linc set the apple juice down beside me. ¡°Are you hungry?¡± he asked. I shook my head. I wasn¡¯t sure I¡¯d ever be hungry again. The doctor tapped at my veins with his fingers, then looked up at me. ¡°You will need to eat. The baby has to be fed properly. Have you seen an OB-GYN?¡± ¡°I will. I just¡±¡ªdidn¡¯t know how to do that without telling my stepmother¡ª¡°haven¡¯t yet.¡± His eyes shot up from what he had been doing to meet my eyes. ¡°You need to be seen immediately. You should be on prenatal vitamins, and at this point, you should have heard the baby¡¯s heartbeat to make sure¡±¡ªhe nced at Linc¡ª¡°the pregnancy is healthy. I brought what we need for that, just in case. After this, we will listen for a heartbeat,¡± he informed me, then went back to looking for the vein he was going to draw from. When he found one, he took the needle. ¡°It¡¯ll pinch.¡± There wasn¡¯t any physical pain he could inflict worse than what I was dealing with internally. He was done quickly. He put a bandage on my arm, then patted my hand. ¡°Drink the juice. Don¡¯t stand up for a bit, okay?¡± I nodded and picked up the ss. The cold sweetness wet my dry mouth and throat, but there was no enjoyment in it. I wasn¡¯t sure I would feel any form of enjoyment again. The me of Crosby¡¯s death would haunt me. I¡¯d carry that with me for the rest of my life. Linc spoke with Dr. Burl for a few moments, but I didn¡¯t pay much attention. I stared at the empty hearth again, sipping the juice. Wishing that I could be numb to everything. Give up carrying or feeling. It would be so much easier. ¡°If you will, lie back for me,¡± the doctor said, holding a nket in his hand. ¡°I need you to pull your shorts down to below your stomach, and you can cover your bottom half with this.¡± I took the nket, theny down and unbuttoned my shorts, which had only started to get snug this past week, before doing as he¡¯d instructed. Dr. Hurl held a tube in his hand. ¡°This is going to be a little cold. I¡¯m sorry about that.¡± ¡°That¡¯s fine,¡± I replied, feeling the anxiety start to mount at the thought that something could be wrong. I hadn¡¯t been taking vitamins. I¡¯d not seen a doctor like I was supposed to. I should have gotten Medicaid. I¡¯d failed my baby. I watched, holding my breath as Dr. Hurl put the cold gel on my stomach, then began moving what looked like a stethoscope over my stomach. There was relief on his face, and I almost burst into tears before he could say anything. ¡°It¡¯s strong.¡± He paused. ¡°One hundred fifty-two beats a minute. Excellent.¡± Then, he took the ends from his ears and held them to me. ¡°Do you want to listen?¡± I nodded, unable to say anything. He ced the earpieces in my ears, then moved the part on my stomach a little. A fast thumping sound came in loud, and I gasped as tears stung my eyes. That was my baby.N?velDrama.Org: text ? owner. ¡°There,¡± I told him as I stared at him in awe. ¡°I can hear it.¡± His smile was kind, and that just made me want to cry harder. Crosby would never hear this. The moment of happiness faded quickly as I took them from my ears and handed it back to him. ¡°You will need to see an OB-GYN very soon,¡± he told me. ¡°I can suggest some for you if needed.¡± ¡°Thank you,¡± I replied, my voice sounding raspy. He handed me a damp cloth to clean my stomach, and both men walked over to the door, talking quietly, while I cleaned myself, then fastened my shorts and sat back up. The door closed, and then Linc walked into my line of sight. ¡°How sure are you that this baby is Crosby¡¯s?¡± he asked me. One hundred percent. Although I understood they wouldn¡¯t just believe my word. They needed proof. ¡°He was the first and only guy I ever slept with.¡± His lips formed a tight line. ¡°I see.¡± Those two words sounded as heavy as my chest felt. Then, he sighed. ¡°Well then, you need to prepare for what is toe once we have the results back from the paternity test. This isn¡¯t something that Crosby¡¯s parents will be happy about. As for Bane, I don¡¯t know yet. Right now, he¡¯s convinced himself that it¡¯s not his brother¡¯s baby. But when he has the proof that it is, that will change his attitude. Notpletely. Bane is normally an ass, but when ites to your welfare, he will want his niece or nephew to be taken care of. He and Crosby were close. ¡°Just get some rest. Eat because you and the baby need it. The phone on the counter works. My number is on the pad beside it. Call me if you need anything. And, Halo? Don¡¯t leave. There is security everywhere. If you walk out that door, I will know. There are cameras on this cabin. Which should also give you some reassurance that Bane won¡¯te here when you¡¯re alone.¡± I said nothing, although I had several questions about all he had just said. I¡¯d wait until they all knew I was telling the truth about the baby being Crosby¡¯s. Then, I¡¯d ask them. Today, my head wasn¡¯t clear enough to think about it all. I just wanted to be left in peace. ¡°Regardless of Bane¡¯s response to this, I will make sure you are taken care of. I believe you were important to Crosby. And just so you know, he was leaving toe see you that night, like he¡¯d promised.¡± A wave of sorrow hit me again, and a sob came from deep in my chest as I covered my mouth. Linc walked over andid a hand on my shoulder. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to upset you, but he¡¯d have wanted you to know he wasn¡¯t nning on leaving you alone with this.¡± I nodded as I dropped my head into my hands. It should help to know that Crosby hadn¡¯t left me, but the agony that came with knowing he had been killed whileing to see me wrecked my soul. Tore Up: Chapter 9 They were only two words. Yet my chest felt like it had been hit with a fucking brick. ¡°It¡¯s his,¡± Linc had said when I answered his call. I had to sit down with that blow. I couldn¡¯t even respond. I¡¯d been so fucking sure it wasn¡¯t Crosby¡¯s. ¡°Before I talk to your dad, I need to know what you would like to do with her. He was your brother, and I¡¯m asking you this out of respect, but understand that I do not n on letting her deal with this alone. She needs help. Her family fucking left her, and her brother is a walking dead man. She¡¯s just neen years old. Whether you want to admit it or not, Crosby loved that girl. We owe it to him to make sure his baby and the girl he loved are taken care of.¡± He was right about the fact that Crosby would have wanted us to take care of her. I wasn¡¯t so sure he was in love with her. That had just been his first taste of a kinky pussy. But that kid was my brother¡¯s. All I had left of him. ¡°Can she stay in the cabin?¡± I asked. ¡°That¡¯s not fair to her, Bane. Being stuck, all alone, back in the woods. I stopped by to check on her yesterday, and just being there alone for twenty-four hours seemed to have pulled her into a darker mood. She didn¡¯t say much.¡± I red at the wall. ¡°It¡¯s better than the house she was living in. She has a bed in the cabin.¡± He let out a weary-sounding sigh. ¡°Would Crosby want her living alone in a fucking tiny-ass cabin? With no one to talk to? She has no family. The one that gives a shit about her will be dead as soon as you can get to him.¡± Clenching and unclenching my fist, I sat there, fighting with the voice in my head, telling me what Crosby would have wanted. He would have wanted her in our house. With his things. I didn¡¯t want that. Not at fucking all. But he would have. FUCK! ¡°She can live in the room on the third floor of the house,¡± I said tightly. That was the best I could do. ¡°He wouldn¡¯t have wanted her stuck in a fucking attic, Bane. He would have wanted her in his room.¡± ¡°NO!¡± I took a deep breath. ¡°No. That room is off limits. The door stays closed. The third floor isn¡¯t an attic. There is a bed and a dresser and a bathroom.¡± He was right. Crosby would have wanted her in his bedroom, but I couldn¡¯t do that. I had my limits. That room hadn¡¯t been touched since he had been in itst, and it was going to remain that way. I needed it that way. ¡°All right, that¡¯s better than the cabin. Can I trust you to go get her and have her moved in, or do I need to be there? Going to talk to your dad is something I have to handle immediately.¡±N?velDrama.Org: text ? owner. I didn¡¯t want to look at her. That was something I had to get over. For Crosby¡¯s sake. She was a reminder that he was dead, and I didn¡¯t think I could ever see her face and not hate her. But she was the mother of my brother¡¯s kid. I had to learn to tolerate her. ¡°I¡¯ll get her tomorrow,¡± I told him. ¡°And her things,¡± he pushed. ¡°I got her things from that house of hers, didn¡¯t I?¡± I replied. No one but me knew that all her shit had been left sitting on the porch. She never mentioned it or asked for any of it. Linc had taken it to the cabin because I hadn¡¯t wanted to see her again if I could help it. But then I¡¯d been so sure my brother had covered his dick up when he fucked her. Whatever she¡¯d done to trap him with a pregnancy had worked. She had seen money and used her pussy to get it. Her gold digging had killed my brother, and for that, I would never forgive her. Tore Up: Chapter 10 My heart was racing when the sound of the door crashing open sent me bolting up in bed, gasping for air. I looked around helplessly for a weapon. Anything. There wasn¡¯t even a phone in here. I couldn¡¯t get to the kitchen. Bane stalked into the room. I quickly checked his hands for a knife or gun. He wasn¡¯t holding one. Why had he broken in like that? Linc had said there were security cameras on the cabin. ¡°What the fuck is wrong?¡± he barked at me. I blinked, confused by that question. I nced down at the bed, and the sheet and quilt were twisted around my legs. I was covered in sweat again and breathing hard. This had been happening every time I slepttely. ¡°I must have fallen asleep,¡± I replied. I¡¯d done thisst night twice, then given up and stayed awake. Today, I had been exhausted. Waking up to him breaking into the cabin hadn¡¯t been helpful. ¡°Why did you barge in like that?¡± He red at me. ¡°Because you were screaming like someone was in here, murdering you. I had to break the damn lock.¡± I looked back down at the covers. I¡¯d been having the same nightmare, but I hadn¡¯t realized I had been screaming. I was always running. It was dark. Then, there was No, lying there, dead. His eyes staring off at nothing. But his face morphed into Crosby¡¯s, and I ran to him, screaming. Then, my eyes would open, and my heart would be racing while I tried to catch my breath. I lifted my eyes back to Bane. ¡°Bad dream,¡± I told him, wanting to wipe that from my brain. He lookedpletely annoyed with me. ¡°Please tell me you don¡¯t do that shit a lot.¡± I started to shake my head because for as long as I could remember, I¡¯d never woken up like this until I saw death. And I¡¯d been the cause of death. It was happening every time I went to sleep now. ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± His angry gaze dropped to my chest, and then his jaw tightened before he snapped it back up to me. ¡°Get up. Put on a fucking bra ande on. I¡¯ll load your stuff in the truck,¡± he said before turning to stalk out of the room. What? I stood up and crossed my arms over my chest, then walked to the door. ¡°Where are you taking me?¡± I asked him, thinking I might need to call Linc. ¡°To my house,¡± he clipped out, like the words pissed him off. Oh, heck no. I was fine right here. I¡¯d wait on Linc, thank you very much.Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org. ¡°I don¡¯t want to go to your house.¡± He turned and leveled his annoyed gaze on me. ¡°You don¡¯t have a house to live in. You don¡¯t have any family that likes you. So, you¡¯re going to my goddamn house.¡± I winced at the harsh truth to his words. ¡°You hate me. Excuse me if I don¡¯t think going to your house is the best idea. I think I¡¯d be better off in a homeless shelter.¡± He picked up one of the boxes that Linc had brought here yesterday evening. ¡°I¡¯m not gonna kill you,¡± he said. ¡°The baby is Crosby¡¯s.¡± The results were in. ¡°What, you¡¯re not surprised to find out the daddy?¡± he asked sardonically. I didn¡¯t turn from his hateful stare. I took it because I knew I deserved it. ¡°I always knew who it was.¡± He turned and headed for the door with my things. I went back to the bedroom and found my bra, then stepped behind the curtain to put it on. Grabbing my toiletries, I put them back in my duffel bag and headed back out to take it to his truck. He had already loaded everything, but one of the ck trash bags I had used to pack my clothes in. ¡°Is that it?¡± he asked me, taking the bag from me. ¡°I can carry it.¡± He jerked it from me. ¡°You¡¯re pregnant.¡± Right. Well, the bag wasn¡¯t that heavy, but I didn¡¯t argue with him. The sound of my voice seemed to annoy him, like my father. I¡¯d lived with a man who didn¡¯t like me before. I was good at being invisible. I could do that. It wasn¡¯t like I was staying forever. He wouldn¡¯t want me there long. It had to be some temporary thing. The cops still hadn¡¯t shown up, and I was starting to wonder if they would. There was a good chance the deaths would be considered gang-rted with the needles in the apartment and drugs I was sure they¡¯d found. That left me with this family. Was I just supposed to wait until they decided what to do with me? I nced back at the cabin. It wasn¡¯t like I¡¯d enjoyed staying there. I had been alone with my thoughts, and that wasn¡¯t good. But at least I¡¯d had the things I needed, thanks to Linc. ¡°Oh, wait. The food that Linc brought,¡± I said, remembering I¡¯d left it inside. He opened the driver¡¯s door of the truck. ¡°Don¡¯t need it.¡± I opened the door a crack and peered at him. ¡°Won¡¯t it go bad?¡± ¡°He will send someone to get it if he wants it.¡± ¡°I will need to eat at your house.¡± He rolled his eyes as he cranked the truck. ¡°Get in the fucking truck, Haley. I¡¯ve got food at my house.¡± Haley? I climbed inside and sped my hands in myp. ¡°My name is Halo.¡± He said nothing, backing up, then pulling out onto the dirt road. We rode in silence. I watched out the window, wanting to ask him several things but afraid to. I¡¯d just ask Linc, but when would I see him next? What about Crosby¡¯s parents? They were going to be upset about this. Did I have to meet them? While I began to grow more anxious as he drove, I didn¡¯t realize he had turned until we stopped at a gate, and he pressed a number into a box. The iron gate slowly swung open, and he pulled on through. We drove between rows of trees until a two-story¡ªor was it three?¡ªbrick home with tall white columns came into view. It was huge. I nced at him, but his tense jawline kept me from saying anything. He drove toward the far left, and one of five garage doors opened. Why did he have so many vehicles and a house this big? Crosby had never mentioned that his brother was rich. He was so young. What the heck did he do for a living? Crosby had worked at a stable with horses and driven an older model farm truck. If he had a brother with this kind of money, you¡¯d think he would¡¯ve mentioned it. Money wasn¡¯t something we¡¯d ever talked about really. Except when he said we¡¯d move in together if I was pregnant. I¡¯d pointed out we didn¡¯t make that much money and I might need to get another job. But he had said not to worry about that right then, so I hadn¡¯t. Bane parked the truck and opened his door. He still hadn¡¯t spoken to me, so I kept my mouth shut and followed suit. He grabbed the two ck trash bags from the back of the truck. ¡°This way,¡± he said, then headed toward the door. Stopping, he tapped in another code. There was a lot of security just to get inside. Perhaps all rich people did this kind of thing. When you had stuff worth stealing, you had to protect it. He went inside, and I headed in behind him, closing the door. We walked down a hallway that opened up to a gym,plete with weights of all kinds, machines that did things I had no clue about, a treadmill, and a punching bag. The next room we came to consisted of a pool table, a bar stocked with all kinds of alcohol, a television screen that covered most of the wall, and lots of seating. Sectional sofas, plush chairs, and smaller sofas. It was a mix of brown and burgundy leather. I didn¡¯t have time to see it all before we were moving down another hallway. When we turned, we came to what I guessed was a living room. It had a ck leather sofa shaped like a U with a rustic-looking coffee table, another t screen, windows overlooking the backyard, where I could see a patio and a pool. ¡°Hey,¡± a male voice said, causing me to spin around toward the sound of the voice. ¡°Who do we have here?¡± he asked as his gaze traveled down my body with a slow grin. When Bane said nothing but kept walking, I swung my gaze to his retreating form, then back to the attractive guy, standing shirtless with a pair of swim trunks hanging on his hips. He was muscr, but not to the extent that Bane was. He seemed younger than Bane too. There weren¡¯t as many tattoos on his tanned body either. The curious gleam in his eyes appeared friendly, and I didn¡¯t want to be rude, even if Bane was going to be. ¡°Um, hi. I¡¯m¡ª¡± ¡°Come on, Hazel,¡± Bane barked at me. I looked back at him with a frown. He¡¯d called me by the wrong name again. ¡°It¡¯s Ha¡ª¡± ¡°I said,e on,¡± he interrupted me again. ¡°Bane, dude, I know rude is your thing, but you¡¯ve brought a gorgeous female into our house; at least let her tell me what her name is since it seems you got it wrong,¡± the guy said, giving me an apologetic smile. ¡°It¡¯s Halo,¡± I told him before Bane could respond. The guy¡¯s smile vanished. His eyes widened, and he swallowed hard before looking from me to Bane. Bane dropped my bags, looking furious with me. ¡°Who is she?¡± the guy asked with slow, precise pronunciation, looking at Bane. Bane swung his eyes toward the guy. His entire body was tense. ¡°She¡¯s pregnant with Crosby¡¯s baby.¡± ¡°What?¡± he asked incredulously as his gaze snapped back to me. The horrified expression on his face was unexpected. Was it that hard for them all to believe Crosby would be in a rtionship with someone like me? ¡°How ¡­ are you sure?¡± Bane grunted, ¡°Yeah. Doc did a paternity test.¡± The guy continued to stare at me. ¡°But how¡ªI mean ¡­¡± He looked back at Bane. ¡°Saylor.¡± There was that name again. Bane only nodded, looking grim. Why were they all so worried about her? Didn¡¯t they need to tell me that so I¡¯d be prepared when I met her? ¡°Who is Saylor?¡± I asked Bane. He shifted his gaze to me. ¡°Saylor was Crosby¡¯s fianc¨¦e. They¡¯d been together for eight years. Grown up together.¡± My head felt light, and I needed to grab something to steady myself. That couldn¡¯t be right. I¡¯d heard that wrong. Fianc¨¦e? Crosby hadn¡¯t been engaged. He had talked about us living together. ¡°Whoa,¡± the other guy said as he rushed toward me and grabbed my arms. ¡°Easy,¡± he said gently. I nodded and realized I needed to breathe. I sucked in some oxygen and then let it out. ¡°I take it, you didn¡¯t know about ¡­ that? Or her?¡± he said to me, looking into my eyes. Bane hadn¡¯t been lying. This guy looked sincere. He didn¡¯t seem like someone who hated me and was trying to hurt me. ¡°She¡¯s fine. Just dramatic,¡± Bane said. The guy shot him a disappointed look, then turned back to me. ¡°I¡¯m Than, and I am real sorry you found out this way. I didn¡¯t know, or I wouldn¡¯t have said anything.¡± I opened my mouth, then closed it. I had no words. Crosby had been engaged. In a rtionship with someone since he had been thirteen years old. Oh my God. This was why his parents were going to be upset. Not only was I the reason that he had been killed, but I was also the other woman. ¡°I¡¯m going to be sick,¡± I said, covering my mouth. ¡°Shit,¡± Than said, taking my hand and pulling me through the room to a door he pushed open. I saw the toilet and rushed past him, grabbing the seat just as I heaved into the bowl. A hand pulled my hair back as my body jerked again, and more came up. I closed my eyes. Crosby had been cheating with me. ¡°Are you good?¡± The concern in Than¡¯s voice made my eyes fill with tears. No. I was never going to be good. Every day I was alive seemed to just build on the nightmare my life had be. I heard the water being turned on in the faucet, and then Than handed me a damp cloth. ¡°Here.¡± I reached for it. ¡°Thank you,¡± I said in a hoarse whisper. He let my hair go, and I straightened back up, then flushed the toilet. After I wiped my face off and managed to get myself under control, I turned around to see Than still standing behind me. He had given me some space, but he hadn¡¯t left. ¡°Crosby was my best friend,¡± he told me. ¡°I¡¯m sorry I reacted the way I did. I know that wasn¡¯t what you needed right now.¡± I didn¡¯t me him. Who could? He had been Crosby¡¯s best friend and had no idea I existed. I¡¯d been Crosby¡¯s secret life. The one he never intended to share with the people important to him. ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± I finally said. ¡°I¡¯m a twist no one sawing, it seems.¡± ¡°Are you done in there?¡± Bane called out. ¡°I¡¯d like to get this shit to your room so I can get on with my day.¡± Than winced. ¡°I¡¯m sorry about him,¡± he said quietly. ¡°He¡¯s never nice, but since Crosby¡¯s ¡­¡± He paused. ¡°Well, since ¡­ he¡¯s been on edge. Worse than usual.¡± He¡¯d been on edge since his brother had been killed and he hated me for it. Than would, too, once he knew it was all my fault Crosby had been killed. I was going to have to get prepared for all of his friends and family to hate me. ¡°I¡¯d better go,¡± I said as I stepped past him and into the other room. Bane was standing with his arms crossed over his chest, staring out the floor-to-ceiling windows. He turned to me, and his gaze dropped to the cloth still clutched in my hands. ¡°I¡¯ll show you theundry room on our way up.¡± Then, he headed back toward the bags of my clothing and grabbed them. I didn¡¯t look back at Than as I hurried to keep up. Tore Up: Chapter 11 Than was sitting on the sectional with his elbows resting on his thighs and his head hanging forward when I walked back into the great room. He looked up at me the moment he heard my boot hit the hardwood. I¡¯d not wanted to tell him about her with her present. I had known the moment he heard her name, it would click. He was the one who had heard Crosby¡¯sst word. It had been bothering him. He¡¯d said it looked like Crosby was begging him to understand just before he took hisst breath. ¡°It all makes sense now,¡± he said. ¡°Thatst month before, he was so different. At times, he would look so fucking happy, and then there were times when he looked agitated, like he couldn¡¯t get away fast enough. It was her. He tried to tell me.¡± ¡°He loved Saylor,¡± I said, stalking past him. ¡°Did he though?¡± Than¡¯s words made me stop. ¡°Yeah, he did.¡± My words sounded more like a snarl. ¡°Sure, I mean, he loved her. The way we all love her. She¡¯s our friend. Our family. But, Bane¡±¡ªhe turned around and looked up at me¡ª¡°I don¡¯t think he was in love with her. He was dying and didn¡¯t even look her way. He didn¡¯t say her name. It¡¯s something I didn¡¯t think about at the time, but I have since. He knew Halo was pregnant, didn¡¯t he?¡± I nodded. We hadn¡¯t talked about all the details of hisst few moments. Until now, I hadn¡¯t wanted to hear it. Fuck, I still didn¡¯t want to think about it. The fresh wave of grief it caused was the reason why I¡¯d not asked. ¡°I walked in on him talking on the phone to a realtor the day before the shooting. I asked him if he was moving out of thepound. He shrugged and told me it was nothing, not to worry about it. I wondered if Saylor was pressuring him to get a ce and get engaged. But ¡­ but he never talked about marriage to her anymore.¡± ¡°Then, he was a fool because that lying slut is the reason he got killed. Her fucking brother fired that shot because he¡¯d found out she was pregnant.¡± He paled. ¡°What?¡± ¡°You heard me. I lost my brother, and that bitch is gonna lose hers,¡± I said through clenched teeth. Than stood up. ¡°I agree he needs to die, and I want to be there when it happens. But it isn¡¯t her fault.¡± I narrowed my eyes at him. Was he fucking serious? ¡°Yeah, it is.¡± He shook his head. ¡°I am almost one hundred percent sure that Crosby loved her.¡±Content protected by N?v/el(D)rama.Org. ¡°Well, it fucking got him killed,¡± I bit out. I was done with this conversation. My dad would be calling soon. I had him and my mom to deal with, and then there would be Saylor. None of them were going to want me to keep Halo here. I didn¡¯t give a fuck what they wanted, but it was still drama I had to face. ¡°He wouldn¡¯t have wanted you to me her, and you know it,¡± he called out behind me. I said nothing. There were only so many things I was willing to do when it came to her. Forgiving her was not one of them. Tore Up: Chapter 12 As much as I didn¡¯t want to see Bane again, I wasn¡¯t sure I could stay in the small room he¡¯d left me in, staring at the walls any longer. The knowledge that Crosby had been engaged had left me hollow. I hadn¡¯t ever considered something like that. I had gone from thinking he had ghosted me and not wanted me to thinking he had loved me and had beening to see me, like he¡¯d promised. To finding out I was always going to be his secret. The memories of him, us, were tainted now. I¡¯d given him my virginity. It hadn¡¯t been nned, but that night, he¡¯d been so sweet and tender. He kissed me and whispered words to me no one had ever said before. I felt beautiful and wanted. The things he made me feel were new and wonderful. I enjoyed everything, even the painful part, because he stared down at me as if I was the most precious thing in the world. But that had all been my interpretation. My being deprived of affection had made me an easy target. It hadn¡¯t taken much to get me naked. Just gave me attention, and I had spread my legs for him almost every time we were together. I grimaced at the thought, then stood up from the edge of the twin bed I¡¯d been sitting on. I was thirsty, and I needed to do something other than think about this. It would just continue to torment me. I walked to the door and opened it, but I didn¡¯t go out. I stood there, staring at the other door up here. That was the bathroom. It, like the bedroom, had a nted ceiling that went all the way down to the floor on one side because of the roofline. I was pretty sure this was part of an attic. Bane had brought my other things up here and not said one word to me. He¡¯d been angry, but he was always angry with me. I looked at the stairs, wondering if I would get lost without a guide. He hadn¡¯t shown me where the kitchen was, but my mouth was dry, and although I¡¯d brushed my teeth since I had thrown up, I still felt like I had vomit in my throat. Deciding that I had to get out of this room regardless, I headed down the stairs, then tried to backtrack the way we hade up. I made my way toward the big room with the television, where I¡¯d met Than earlier. I heard several voices, and it sounded like the television was on. Stopping, I wasn¡¯t sure I should go in there. My introduction to Than had been bad enough. I didn¡¯t think I was up for facing more people who were going to be distraught by my existence. ¡°Halo,¡± Than called. I turned to see him walking up behind me, carrying a te of food. He smiled at me reassuringly, and I wanted to sigh in relief. He didn¡¯t hate me. At least not yet. ¡°Hungry? We¡¯ve got a spread in the kitchen.¡± I wasn¡¯t hungry, but seeing his te made my stomach growl. ¡°Um, yeah. I should probably eat.¡± ¡°Come on,¡± he said with a nod and started back in the direction he hade from. ¡°Is Bane here?¡± I asked. ¡°No, he¡¯s still out. Is everything okay?¡± He nced back at me, looking concerned. ¡°I¡¯m fine. I was just ¡­ well, I didn¡¯t want to, uh ¡­ I mean, I wasn¡¯t sure if I was supposed toe out of the room or not.¡± And I wasn¡¯t up for being yelled at again. Than stopped and stepped back, waving a hand for me to enter first. ¡°You¡¯re not confined to the bedroom. You can stay down here all you want. Go out to the pool and swim. Whatever you want. Don¡¯t let Bane bully you. This was Crosby¡¯s home too. He would have wanted you here.¡± More information I hadn¡¯t known about Crosby. Scanning the luxurious kitchen, I tried to imagine Crosby living here in this house. He¡¯d not said he lived with his brother. When I¡¯d imagined him at home, it wasn¡¯t somewhere like this. ¡°Crosby lived here?¡± I asked. ¡°Yeah. You didn¡¯t know that?¡± I shook my head. ¡°I don¡¯t think I knew as much about him as I thought I did.¡± ¡°Bane; me; my older brother, Ransom; Oz, who is Bane¡¯s best friend because no one else can put up with his mean ass; and his brother, Forge, all live here.¡± I stared at him, wide-eyed. ¡°Wow. That¡¯s a lot of, uh, guys.¡± He grinned. ¡°Oz is with Bane, but Ransom and Forge are in the great room. I¡¯ll introduce you once you get a te.¡± He pointed to the long bar filled with trays of food. ¡°The cheeseburgers are fucking awesome, the next tray is grilled chicken sandwiches, and then you have the obvious fried pickles, fries¡ªoh, and those right there are deep-fried jpe?os, stuffed with cheese. They¡¯ve got a kick, so if you don¡¯t like spicy, I¡¯d skip that. There is sd, but I have no idea why. Actually, the grilled chicken was a surprise too. That¡¯s a buffalo chicken dip¡ªanother spicy alert¡ªand the chips to go with it. Not sure what the celery sticks are all about. Another weird item we never order. But help yourself.¡± I walked over and picked up one of the chicken sandwiches. ¡°What do you like to drink? Name it, and we will have it,¡± Than said to me. ¡°Milk?¡± I asked. I had been craving that a lottely. Before pregnancy, I¡¯d only had milk in my cereal. He nodded. ¡°Ice or no ice?¡± Scrunching my nose, I looked at him. ¡°Who puts ice in milk?¡± He chuckled. ¡°No ice. Got it.¡± I took a few fried pickles, got some sd, then picked up several of the celery sticks. Than brought me a tall, frosted clear mug of milk. He inspected my te, then smirked. ¡°I get the new additions now. It¡¯s girl food. He¡¯s an ornery bastard, but he¡¯ll make sure you¡¯re taken care of. Let¡¯s go.¡± He started for the door, and I followed behind him, realizing he had been talking about Bane. He¡¯d ordered the healthier options for me? I found that hard to believe. But then the baby being Crosby¡¯s must have had him thinking about its health. Not about me. We drew closer to the voices, and I wasn¡¯t sure I wanted to go in there. ¡°I don¡¯t want to intrude and make everyone ufortable,¡± I told him. He looked back at me over his shoulder. ¡°Don¡¯t judge the rest of us by Bane. He is one of a kind, I promise.¡± That was a relief, but that wasn¡¯t what I had been thinking. ¡°Who will you tell them I am?¡± ¡°They know who you are. That¡¯s been handled.¡± There was some relief to that. Taking a deep breath, I let it out before I walked in behind Than to the room. ¡°All right, guys, here she is,¡± Than said, and the two men on the sectional turned to look at me. I already knew which one was which because Than¡¯s brother was just a slightly older version of him. He had more facial hair, his eyes were hazel instead of blue, and his hair wasn¡¯t as messy. ¡°That¡¯s my brother, Ransom,¡± he told me. Then, he pointed to the younger guy with almost-curly, dark blond hair, which was cut short on the sides with a little bit of length on top. His green eyes met mine, and the corner of his mouth lifted. He seemed friendlier. Ransom hadn¡¯t been rude or anything, but there was a hard edge to him. ¡°And that¡¯s Forge,¡± Than told me. Forge nced at me, then at Than. ¡°I agree with you,¡± he said, then picked up his burger. Who was he talking to? Agree with who? Ransom cut his eyes to Forge, then back to me. ¡°It definitely makes more sense now.¡± Than groaned almost silently, then looked back at me. ¡°Sorry. Ignore them. I promise all that shit was positive. Come sit down.¡± This was what I hadn¡¯t wanted to do. Eat in front of strangers who were judging me. And it felt like these two were doing just that.Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org. If I was going to live here for a while, then I had to adjust and get over this. I put my milk on the coffee table, then sat on the sofa. Than took a ce a few inches away from me, as if he was there for support. I appreciated it. I turned my attention to the television to see they were watching horse racing. I¡¯d never watched that before. I took a bite of my sandwich and hoped everyone¡¯s attention was back on the race. Forge let out a deep chuckle, and I nced at him. He was grinning as he watched the race. ¡°Why am I not surprised the kid¡¯s horse just won that race?¡± I turned my attention back to the screen. ¡°Because he¡¯s a Hughes,¡± Ransom replied. ¡°If the boss is gonna buy his son a horse, it is gonna be a fucking winner.¡± ¡°Why the hell did Sten race one of his horses in this one if a Hughes horse was in it?¡± Forge asked. ¡°It¡¯s not one they¡¯re keeping. Sebastian said they intended to sell it, and this was just a way to showcase its potential,¡± Than told him. I continued to eat while they talked about the race and Demigod, the horse that had won. Apparently, this race had happened earlier today, and Than already knew who had won, but the others hadn¡¯t seen it yet. They seemed to know a lot about horse racing. I knew that Crosby had worked at stables that had racehorses, but I hadn¡¯t been aware they all did. Horse racing seemed important to them. ¡°Stolen should have been there for this next one,¡± Than said beside me, sounding almost angry. ¡°Don¡¯t start that,¡± Ransom told his brother. ¡°Fender and Bane are grieving.¡± I listened as I ate small bites of my sd. I didn¡¯t know who Fender was, but I knew this conversation was now about Crosby¡¯s death. ¡°He would have wanted his horse to race,¡± Than replied. ¡°I would have gone. They didn¡¯t have to.¡± ¡°Let it go, man,¡± Forge told him. Were they saying Crosby had a horse? I looked at Than, who was ring at the television. ¡°Moses Mile has a horse in this one,¡± Ransom added. ¡°And Stolen would have fucking smoked them all. Even the Houstons¡¯ new winner,¡± Than grumbled. Then, his eyes shifted to me, and his hard expression softened some. ¡°Crosby¡¯s horse was supposed to be in this race.¡± Wow. Okay, so Crosby had owned a horse. Weren¡¯t those expensive? Had Bane bought him one? ¡°I knew he worked at a stable, but I didn¡¯t know he had a horse,¡± I admitted. Than swung his gaze toward the others, as if unsure of what to say to me. Ransom cleared his throat, drawing my attention to him. His eyebrows lowered and drew together slightly. ¡°How much did you know about Crosby?¡± he asked. If he had asked me this yesterday, I¡¯d have thought I knew everything. We had spent hours talking about our lives. I¡¯d asked him questions about his. But now ¡­ now that I knew he¡¯d lived in a house like this and had a fianc¨¦e ¡­ I realized I hadn¡¯t known much and what I had known wasn¡¯t the truth. I lifted my shoulders a little, then looked down at my te. ¡°I¡¯m not sure anymore.¡± There was silence for several moments. ¡°Do you know hisst name?¡± Ransom asked. I nodded but realized if I found out he¡¯d lied about that, I wasn¡¯t sure I could keep it together. The guy I¡¯d thought I knew was fading away with every new fact I found out about him. ¡°Cash,¡± I said slowly, hoping that was it. He gave me a small smile. ¡°So, you do know who his family is then.¡± I nced at all three of them to find their eyes on me, waiting for me to say something, but I wasn¡¯t sure what he meant by that statement. ¡°Uh, no. I never met them, if that¡¯s what you mean.¡± Ransom shook his head. ¡°That¡¯s not what I meant. I know you never met them. But you know who they are, right? Thest name Cash is well known in the area. Especially here in Madison.¡± I licked my lips nervously. This felt like I was being given a pop quiz and failing. ¡°I, uh, I don¡¯t live in Madison. I live in Jackson.¡± Ransom leaned back as he continued to study me. ¡°Even in Jackson, I¡¯d think you¡¯d know who the Cashes are.¡± I looked around the room and managed a small smile I didn¡¯t feel. ¡°I, uh ¡­ no.¡± Forge let out a low whistle. ¡°Damn.¡± ¡°Crosby didn¡¯t just work at a stable,¡± Than told me. ¡°You might want to leave this for Bane,¡± Ransom interrupted him. Than shot a challenging look at his brother. ¡°Why? Because he¡¯s so fucking friendly? He¡¯s barely spoken to her.¡± ¡°Bane isn¡¯t nice on a good day,¡± Ransom replied. ¡°He has a reason to be the way he is right now though. Respect that.¡± ¡°Crosby was my best friend. Don¡¯t tell me what the fuck to respect. Just like I know he¡¯d want his horse in that goddamn race today, thest word out of his mouth was Halo, so that means she was important to him.¡± I clenched the te tightly in my hands as I sucked in a breath. I hadn¡¯t known that. He had said my name. Anguish rushed in, wiping out the bitterness that had begun to fester like a wave crashing onto the shore. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath. ¡°I assumed you knew that, but then this is Bane we are talking about. Guess he didn¡¯t tell you that either,¡± Than said to me. Controlling my emotions the best I could, I opened my eyes and looked back at him. ¡°No, he didn¡¯t.¡± Than looked as if he wasn¡¯t sure what to say to me. If he should be apologetic or not. ¡°Crosby was the youngest son of Fender Cash, the owner of Cash Ranch. It¡¯s thergest thoroughbred stables in Mississippi. Not only that, but the Cashes are connected to important people. Powerful people. They own a lot of things. Crosby was driving his grandfather¡¯s old truck that Fender keeps at the stables to see you. That wasn¡¯t his truck, and Crosby wasn¡¯t shoveling horse shit. He was working with racehorses. The buying and selling.¡± I sat there, unable to respond. Realization that not only had he been engaged, but it had been to someone from that world, a life of wealth and privilege, and that he had started this thing he had with me to be just a sidepiece. He knew I wouldn¡¯t fit into that life. I had been his walk on the wrong side of the tracks, and he¡¯d identally gotten me pregnant. ¡°You didn¡¯t know any of that, did you?¡± Than asked me. I shook my head, unable to look up from my half-eaten sandwich. Humiliation burned in my gut. Bane¡¯s murderous rage hadn¡¯t been because he was some psychopath. He had the safety of his family¡¯s name to seek his revenge. To make my brother pay for taking his brother¡¯s life. Standing up, I managed to nce at Than while holding my te close to me. ¡°I, uh ¡­ I¡¯m gonna go back upstairs,¡± I told him, then grabbed my milk and hurried from the room. I wasn¡¯t sure I wanted to know more about my baby¡¯s father. What I did know was that I couldn¡¯t stay here. He¡¯d never wanted me in this part of his life, and I didn¡¯t want to be anywhere else I wasn¡¯t wanted. I would figure it out. Now that I no longer had to worry about Baneing to murder me in my sleep, I could focus on getting a job. Finding somewhere to live. Building a life that was secure to bring my child into. Tore Up: Chapter 13 I have to get away. I don¡¯t know from what, but my legs won¡¯t move fast enough. My lungs burn as I push harder. ncing back over my shoulder, all I see is the darkness, but it is there. Something is. I wish I knew what or who. A light ahead keeps me from giving up. I can make it there, and then whatever is chasing me will leave.Content protected by N?v/el(D)rama.Org. The lightes fast, and I shade my eyes as I slow my pace because of the brightness. Blinking as my eyes adjust, I see the body on the ground in front of me. The familiar eyes staring up, but not at me. They see nothing. The nkness that onlyes with death rocks through me and I let out a bloodcurdling scream. ¡°Wake up!¡± a deep voice demanded. Hands gripped my shoulders and shook me. I opened my eyes, and instantly, the horrific scene vanished. It was reced by topaz eyes, outlined in thick ckshes. I inhaled sharply at the contrast of images. Fresh-cut oak, smoke, and a hint of spice hit me. ¡°Jesus Christ! Do you do this shit every fucking night?¡± his deep, gravelly voice asked. Still slightly off-bnce from the nightmare and being jerked out of it, I stared at him, trying to remember where I was. The nted wall, single dresser, bedside table and the scowling expression on Bane Cash¡¯s face. ¡°No,¡± I replied. My voice sounded scratchy from overuse, although I¡¯d been asleep. He removed his hands from my arms, and I shivered, pulling the covers up and not looking at him again. Bane straightened and walked over to stand by the window that overlooked the front yard. It was then I realized he was shirtless, and a pair of gray sweatpants hung on his hips. The tattoos on his back I couldn¡¯t make out in the dark, but they covered arger portion of it. ¡°You screamed his name. More than once,¡± he said, not turning to look at me. I didn¡¯t remember screaming any name in my dream. Just the running and then seeing ¡­ I tried to block that image out. ¡°I won¡¯t go back to sleep,¡± I told him. ¡°I¡¯m sorry I woke you.¡± He didn¡¯t move. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he seemed focused on something outside the window. ¡°You woke the entire house,¡± he finally said. It wasn¡¯t like I could control my nightmares. ¡°I¡¯m going to leave. Your uncle, or whatever Linc is, was very nice to want to help me, but I was never meant to be in Crosby¡¯s life. I know that now. He had other ns. I can find a job and somewhere to live. I have plenty of time before the babyes.¡± His head swung around to look at me. Even in the darkness, I could see his glower. ¡°You¡¯re not leaving. I thought I¡¯d made that clear.¡± This man and his attitude were wearing on me. ¡°You don¡¯t want me here. Crosby never nned on me being in this part of his life. I don¡¯t belong here.¡± He said nothing for several seconds, then walked over to where I¡¯d discarded the extra pillow and sat down with his back against the wall, using the pillow for padding behind his head and back. ¡°Go to sleep,¡± he said gruffly. ¡°What are you doing?¡± He closed his eyes. ¡°What the fuck does it look like? You need sleep. You¡¯re pregnant. And I don¡¯t want to run up and down the motherfucking stairs all night.¡± Was he serious? I tightened my hold on the covers. ¡°I can¡¯t sleep with you sitting there against the wall.¡± Without opening his eyes, he replied, ¡°Why don¡¯t you shut up and try?¡± He was really going to sit there like that. ¡°You can¡¯t sleep like that,¡± I pointed out. This time, he opened his eyes and turned his head in my direction. ¡°Neither of us can with you continuing to talk.¡± I sat there as he adjusted the pillow and closed his eyes again. Lowering myself back onto the bed, I was sure I¡¯d not sleep a wink, but arguing with his stubborn ass was pointless.
At some point, I must have fallen asleep again. When I opened my eyes, the sun was streaming brightly into the room, and Bane was no longer sitting on the floor. I felt some relief. Talking to him this morning wasn¡¯t at all appealing. It was a miracle I¡¯d actually slept with him in here. There wasn¡¯t a clock in the room, so I didn¡¯t know what time it was. I wanted a shower and something to drink. My mouth was dry. Finding the kitchen again might be a task, but I thought I could figure it out. If I got lost, I¡¯d eventually make my way back to the stairs or run into one of the many men who lived here and get directions. Getting up, I made the bed, then took the things I needed before going to the bathroom. I had a bit of a learning curve with adjusting the hot and cold water, then turning the showerhead on, but I managed with some trial and error. The water pressure was powerful, and I took longer than I normally did. Once I towel-dried my hair and dressed, I made my way to the stairs. Yesterday had been emotionally draining, but then so had the day before. It seemed each morning brought anotheryer of heartache. I wondered if Carina and the boys were thinking about me and if Nick had found them. Was he even going to try? With my thoughts on my family who had left me behind, I managed to remember the path I¡¯d taken with Thanst night to the kitchen. I wasn¡¯t hungry, but I knew I had to eat something. Pausing, I looked around. It was clean. All the food that had been outst night was gone, and the countertops were shiny. I wondered which one of them had taken the time to put everything away. The fridge was three times bigger than the one we¡¯d had at our rental house. I hadn¡¯t realized they made refrigerators this big. Perhaps they needed one this size because so many males lived here. I touched the dark screen on the front, and it lit up, causing me to jerk my hand away. What the heck was that? It had the date, time, weather, a video of the outside of the front door, a photo of a beautiful ck horse, and a television screen. Holy crap. Why did someone need all that on their fridge? What happened to mas? Too basic for them? Shaking my head, I muttered, ¡°Rich people,¡± under my breath and opened the other side panel that didn¡¯t have a high-tech screen lighting it up. This wasn¡¯t what I¡¯d expected. Just like the surprisingly clean kitchen, this was shocking. Ares had never even taken his dishes to the sink, and most of the time, he¡¯d forget to put the milk back in the fridge. There were no leftover boxes of takeout, beer, or gross, out-of-date things. I almost closed it, not sure what to do with all this. It reminded me of those intimidating grocery stores with the expensive organic food. Fresh berries in ss containers, a lot of freaking eggs, a bowl of red grapes, two metal baskets full of produce, an entire shelf of protein drinks, a drawer with fancy cheeses, a tall pitcher of orange juice, a gallon of milk, yogurts in small and expensive-looking containers, and a host of condiments. I reached for the milk and then looked at the three jars of homemade jams in the side door. Strawberry, blueberry, and peach. I took out the strawberry and closed the door very gently. God only knew what they¡¯d paid for the dang thing. I turned to study the area and figure out which cab out of the many they might keep the nonperishables in. After opening the obvious ones that werergest and having no luck, I wondered if the door that was in that small, odd, little room on the other side of the ovens¡ªyes, plural¡ªwas where they put food. The small room had a wine rack, a liquor cab, and what I thought was a food prepping area but no food. Shaking my head clueless as to why this space was needed, I turned to open the closed door on the other side of the wine rack. My mouth fell slightly open as the light came on automatically, and I stared into a roomrger than the bathroom I was using. It was a food closet¡ªno, a food room. A closet was too basic of a term for what this was. There were shelves, there were drawers, there were baskets that I thought were also drawers, and there were racks that spun around. ¡°Holy moly,¡± I breathed. ¡°Are you looking for something or just standing in here to gawk at the pantry?¡± Bane asked as he walked past me and went to one of the baskets, then plucked out a loaf of some kind of bakery bread. That had note from a grocery store. ¡°This is a pantry?¡± I asked. I¡¯d heard of those before, but I¡¯d never actually seen one. I thought a pantry was a closet with a door and just shelves. Not a room you could walk inside and sit for a spell. He reached for something off another shelf, then looked at me. ¡°What the fuck else would it be?¡± ¡°A corner market,¡± I muttered before I could stop myself. ¡°What?¡± he snapped. ¡°A corner market,¡± I said clearly this time. He raised his eyebrows slightly and gave me an odd look before walking back toward the door once he found what he was looking for. ¡°Do you have cereal?¡± I asked before he left. ¡°Fifth shelf on the far right,¡± he replied. I went over to the right side, and sure enough, on the fifth shelf were three different boxes of cereal. Two were shockingly healthy. One was Cocoa Puffs. I started to reach for the Cocoa Puffs but then stopped. That wasn¡¯t the best choice for the baby, I realized. Scrunching my nose, I looked at the other two and decided that the one with the dried blueberries looked like the lesser of the two evils. Once I was back in the kitchen, Bane was standing at the stove with a cup of coffee and cracking eggs into a bowl. He cooked for himself. He was just full of surprises. I went to the cab I had found the bowls in earlier while I was looking for food and got one down. I just had to figure out where the spoons were now. I could ask, but he didn¡¯t like to hear my voice, and he was busy. I opened the first drawer to find potholders and closed it. The next one had hand towels. When I reached the third one, Bane stopped me. ¡°Here,¡± he said as he pulled out a drawer to his left. Yeah, the one closest to him would have been thest drawer I¡¯d tried. Heck, I might have just eaten the cereal with my hand before I had gone over there. ¡°Thanks,¡± I whispered and went to get a spoon. The options in eating utensils were excessive. There were three sizes of forks and four different spoon sizes. Who needed all this? They were guys. I doubted they threw dinner parties. ¡°Is getting a spoon thatplicated?¡± he asked. I snatched out a regr-sized spoon and closed the drawer. It seemed to only require a push, and it slid slowly in on its own. Going over to my bowl, I filled it halfway with cereal, then added the milk before going to put it back in the fridge. I wanted to ask about the screen, but said nothing. It was as if I were living with Nick again. Not talking or doing anything to draw attention to myself. ¡°Morning,¡± Than said as he walked into the room. He was shirtless again and had on a pair of ck-and-blue id pajama pants. ¡°Good morning,¡± I replied, only ncing at him before giving my cereal myplete attention. ¡°Lost your shirt?¡± Bane asked him. ¡°Don¡¯t be jealous of the pecs,¡± he drawled and pulled out a mug from the cab. He swung his gaze over to mine and grinned, then put his mug under therge contraption that I thought was a coffee machine, but it had a screen and three different spouts, so I¡¯d stayed away from it. ¡°Who slept in the guest room?¡± Than asked. ¡°Locke,¡± was Bane¡¯s response. ¡°Did Gathe do something to piss him off?¡± I took a bite of my cereal as I watched them. It was difficult not to. As much as I disliked Bane, he wasn¡¯t hard on the eyes. Seeing him stand over a stove and make what looked like an omelet with his thick arms flexing with each move was a show most females wouldn¡¯t be able to ignore. ¡°Gathe is dealing with ¡­ well, you know,¡± Bane replied, his jaw tight. ¡°Hmm,¡± was all Than said as the machine spit out his choice of drink. He picked it up and walked over to take the stool on the other side of me. ¡°Sleep okay?¡± I cut my eyes to Bane, who was taking bread from a toaster. ¡°Uh, well, I had a nightmare,¡± I told him, wondering if my screaming had woken him up. ¡°He knows that,¡± Bane replied as he put the jam I had gotten out and not used because I didn¡¯t want to ask Bane for any of the bread he¡¯d taken from the pantry. ¡°I heard you,¡± Than said beside me in a gentle tone. ¡°But I meant after that.¡± ¡°She snores,¡± Bane said, then ced the jam-covered toast on a te beside me. I didn¡¯t know if I should thank him for the toast or argue that I did not snore. ¡°I assume that was why you got the jam out,¡± he told me, then turned back to the stove. I looked down at my bowl. Carina had never told me I snored. My face felt hot. ¡°Did I mention he was an asshole?¡± Than whispered, although Bane could hear him. He was more than that. He was also dangerous and frightening, and unfortunately, the dark, broody thing was sexy. At least on him. Not that it mattered because I wasn¡¯t entertaining any thoughts about that man. Our dislike for each other was mutual. But it was just embarrassing, having someone who looked like him, with a life like this, make fun of me among his elite peers. Bane slid his omelet onto a te, then took his mug and walked out of the kitchen without a word. Once he was gone, Than turned to me. ¡°Listen, I¡¯m sorry aboutst night. I said too much, and I know you weren¡¯t ready to hear all that.¡± I had needed to hear it. ¡°No need to apologize. I was tiredst night. A lot had happened.¡± He didn¡¯t say anything for a few minutes, and I ate while he drank his coffee in silence. ¡°Can I ask you how you met Crosby?¡± he asked me hesitantly. Talking about it was not something I wanted to do, but it seemed Than needed it. He wanted to talk about Crosby. Last night, it had been obvious he wanted to remind everyone about Crosby¡¯s wishes. This was his way of grieving. Holding on to his life. What he¡¯d left behind. ¡°I, uh, was at work. I used to work for a food truck. We¡¯d usually be at the rodeos and several events at the fairgrounds.¡± ¡°Urban Bistro,¡± Than said with a small smile. I nodded. ¡°Yeah. You know it?¡± ¡°Best burger in Jackson,¡± he replied. ¡°Agreed.¡± I licked my lips, then continued, ¡°Anyway, I was selling burgers in the stands, and Crosby stepped in front of me.¡± I paused, remembering the way he¡¯d looked at me. I¡¯d had a flutter in my stomach, but then he was beautiful. He had probably caused flutters all over the rodeo. ¡°His hair was pulled back into a ponytail. He had on a ck T-shirt, and his jeans had dirt on them. He looked like he¡¯d just been thrown from one of the horses. But he smiled at me and asked if my eyes were real or if he was hallucinating.¡± The corner of my lips twitched at the memory. ¡°I thought it was a cheesy pickup line, but he had actually just been thrown from a bull. I wasn¡¯t working over by the bull riding arena, so I had missed it.¡± ¡°That was the night he got on Red g like a dumbass because Gathe had told him he was too much of a pussy to ride that bull,¡± Than said. ¡°He went to get a burger, and he didn¡¯te back for-fucking-ever. We thought he¡¯d passed out from a concussion.¡± I bit my bottom lip and looked down at my hands. ¡°He stood over to the side of the stands, where I was selling burgers, and when I ran out, he fell into step beside me on my way back to the truck to get more. He introduced himself. Asked me my name. He was charming, and I wanted to be able to stand there and talk to him all night, but I had to work. He watched me while I sold the next set of burgers, and I was so nervous. My face stayed warm the entire time, and I ended up dropping two burgers, which I never did. I was going to have to pay for those, but he took the burgers and gave me way too much for them. Then, he asked for my number, and I said I didn¡¯t have a phone. But then someone¡ª¡± ¡°Called his name and he said his goodbyes and left,¡± Than finished for me. I frowned. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°That was me. I only saw the back of your head. I knew he was talking to a girl, and Saylor was on her way behind me with Gathe. I was saving him from getting her all pissy.¡± The reminder that I was the girl he¡¯d cheated with wasn¡¯t pleasant. Thinking about the night we¡¯d met had almost made me forget for a moment how it had never been real. ¡°He came back then? To see you?¡± Than asked. ¡°Yeah,¡± I replied, not looking back up at him. ¡°The very next night. He watched me for over an hour. Bought a burger and fries from me too. When I got off work, he met me on the way to the parking lot. I was going to wait on my brother toe get me.¡± I paused, wishing I hadn¡¯t mentioned Ares. I swallowed hard as my stomach felt sick. ¡°He offered me a ride. Convinced me he wasn¡¯t a psycho. He took me to an open field, and we talked. He kissed me. Then, he gave me his number and asked if there was anyone¡¯s phone I could use to call him. I took it and said I could borrow my sister¡¯s phone.¡± Than rested his elbows on the counter as he stared at the cup of coffee he had cupped between both hands. ¡°Did he tell you he loved you?¡± I hesitated. ¡°Yes.¡± My response was a whisper. Than turned his head, his eyes not on the verge of tears, but there was a ssiness to them. ¡°He never told Saylor that. It was an ongoing thing she¡¯d bitch about. She¡¯d tell him she loved him, and he¡¯d say, ¡®You too,¡¯ or, ¡®Same, babe,¡¯ but that was it.¡± I¡¯d never told him I loved him back. ¡°I didn¡¯t know about her. I promise,¡± I told him. I didn¡¯t want them to all think I was the kind of person who would sleep with an engaged man or even just a taken one. ¡°I believe you. And not just because you almost passed out, then vomited when you found out about Saylor. But because I knew Crosby better than anyone. For him to love you, you had to be special. Different. Not like what he was used to. And he was faced with females daily who would have fu¡ª¡± He stopped, then winced. ¡°Uh, well, they wouldn¡¯t have given a shit about Saylor.¡± At least one of them believed me. ¡°Bane hates me.¡± Than shook his head. ¡°No, he doesn¡¯t. He is a mess right now. Bane doesn¡¯t do emotion, but losing his brother? That fucked him up. Brought out shit in him he hadn¡¯t known he had. Give him time. He wouldn¡¯t have moved you into the house if he hated you.¡± I wasn¡¯t so sure about that. ¡°I don¡¯t think Linc gave him an option.¡± I frowned, scrunching my nose. ¡°Who is Linc exactly?¡± It was something that I still couldn¡¯t figure out, and Than was easiest to talk to. I felt moderatelyfortable asking him things. He pressed his lips together and looked straight ahead, as if I¡¯d just asked a difficult question. ¡°That is probably something I can¡¯t answer,¡± he said. ¡°But Bane or Linc will exin it soon. Now that they know for sure that the baby is Crosby¡¯s.¡± The mystery about this family and all their secrets were no longer just odd, but sliding right into unsettling. What was such a big deal about telling me who Linc was? ¡°Don¡¯t you have somewhere to be?¡± Bane¡¯s harsh voice startled me. Than rolled his eyes as he moved off the stool. ¡°Didn¡¯t know my schedule was so important to you.¡± Bane stalked past him and went to the sink with his empty te. I nced from his back to Than, who took his cup and then gave me a smile before leaving the kitchen. Now, I was alone with Bane again. Oh boy. ¡°My mom wants to meet you,¡± Bane said, turning around to look at me. His brooding expression told me this wasn¡¯t going to be pleasant. Not that anything in my life ever was. ¡°Okay,¡± I replied. ¡°When?¡± His gaze dropped to my body, then back to meet my gaze. ¡°Now. She¡¯s out of bed before noon for the first time in two months.¡± ¡°Do I need to change?¡± I asked since he¡¯d seemed displeased by what I had on¡ªor it was his displeasure with me in general. ¡°No, that¡¯s fine,¡± he said. ¡°Unless you have a bigger bra.¡± I nced down at my chest, then back at him. ¡°This is the only one I have. What¡¯s wrong with it?¡± His eyes dropped again, and I crossed my arms over my chest, not liking the way he made me feel. ¡°It¡¯s too small. Your tits areing out of the top of it. I can see it through your shirt.¡± I couldn¡¯t believe he was talking about my boobs. My face was on fire. Did he get off on humiliating me? Was that a thing for him? ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± he said and started for the door. I followed him with as much enthusiasm as I would if I were walking to the gallows. I wished Than could take me or Linc maybe. I preferred to have as little interaction with Bane as possible. Tore Up: Chapter 14 I¡¯d give her one thing; she was good at staying quiet. Most females were ufortable when no one was talking, and they rambled on about shit just because they didn¡¯t like silence. This one hadn¡¯t said one word since we¡¯d left the kitchen. It wasn¡¯t like she was pouting about the brament either. I¡¯d have picked up on that. I opened the front door of my parents¡¯ house and waved a hand for her to go on inside. The house was peacefulpared to when I¡¯d left herest night. There had been too much drama, aggression, crying, and shit that had nothing to do with my brother¡¯s absence¡ªjust selfish reactions. Why Saylor¡¯s behavior had surprised me, I wasn¡¯t sure, but I¡¯d thought she¡¯d have been sensitive enough not to make the situation all about her. I¡¯d been wrong. It might as well have been the Saylor show. My mother¡¯s heels clicked on the marble floor, and I closed the door behind Halo. Of course she¡¯d been listening for us. She¡¯d called me before I even woke up this morning. That was a rarity. The woman liked to sleep inte. Since Crosby¡¯s death, she¡¯d been taking her meds and sleeping well past noon and barelying out of her room the rest of the day. ¡°Oh.¡± My mother¡¯s breathless gasp as she entered the foyer wasn¡¯t a bad one. Halo¡¯s worry was so thick that I could feel it, but she had no reason to be. I wouldn¡¯t have brought her here to be attacked. She didn¡¯t believe that though. ¡°Mom,¡± I said, turning to look at her, ¡°you look beautiful this morning.¡± And it was a fucking relief. My entire life, she had always looked like this. Crosby¡¯s death had taken the vibrancy from her eyes, and she had given up on caring about anything at all. She had lost weight, and her cheekbones stood out. My brother had been her baby. I wasn¡¯t sure she would ever recover from losing him. I knew she would mourn him for the rest of her life, but Halo had given her a reason to live. She batted a manicured hand at me, as if I were being silly, but her eyes never left Halo. ¡°Halo, this is my mother, Grissele. Mom, Halo.¡± My mother walked toward her slowly with wide eyes almost full of wonder. The ache of loss was still etched in the lines of her face, but she was hopeful. ¡°She¡¯s ¡­¡± Mom started, then smiled softly. ¡°You¡¯re breathtaking.¡± I wanted to shake my head. Of course that was my mom¡¯s concern. Was the girl carrying my brother¡¯s baby going to add to the gene pool in looks or take away from it? ¡°Thank you,¡± Halo said, watching my mom with hesitancy. This was obviously not what she¡¯d been expecting. My father¡¯s response to her would be more along the lines of what she had built up in her head. He wasn¡¯t thrilled that Crosby had knocked up a girl behind Saylor¡¯s back. ¡°Those eyes,¡± Mom said, as if mesmerized. Yes, Mom, she¡¯s fucking gorgeous, but what did you expect? This was Crosby we were talking about. If he was going to have a secret baby momma, she wasn¡¯t going to be ugly. Mom blew out a small breath, then a shakyugh. ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± she told Halo. ¡°You¡ªI¡ªI¡¯m¡ªit¡¯s all a lot to take in. Until yesterday, I thought I¡¯d lost my beautiful boy forever. And now, we have you, and you¡¯re carrying my baby¡¯s baby.¡± She stopped, her eyes welling with tears, and she sniffled in her feminine,dylike way. ¡°You¡¯ll have to forgive me. I might cry several times today.¡± I¡¯d been prepared for this. Reaching into the front pocket of my jeans, I pulled out the tissue pack I¡¯d stuck in there and handed Mom one. She took it, giving me a grateful smile, and dabbed at her eyes. ¡°Always the provider,¡± she said.Content protected by N?v/el(D)rama.Org. I felt Halo¡¯s gaze on me, and I almost smiled. Almost. I knew what she was thinking, and thatbel was not one she¡¯d put on me. I doubted there was a positive word she would connect with me. ¡°I have tea and some scones set up in the sunroom,¡± she told Halo. ¡°Several caffeine-free options for you. I can have croissants brought in as well. Just tell me your preference.¡± The wide-eyed look on Halo¡¯s face should have given Mom the hint that the girl had no idea. She wouldn¡¯t know what the fuck a scone was. I¡¯d told them she came from a lower-ie household, but Mom had never known anything other than the one-percenter life. I doubted she understood what that meant exactly. ¡°Scones are hard-ass biscuit-cookie things,¡± I told Halo. ¡°I¡¯d ask for the croissants.¡± She blinked those longshes of hers as she stared up at me. My motherughed. ¡°They are no such thing, but I will have the croissants sent in too. Are you joining us, son?¡± I knew she didn¡¯t want me here. She wanted to pepper Halo with her probing questions. And I sure as fuck didn¡¯t want to sit and listen to her talk. ¡°No, I¡¯m going to the stables.¡± Mom nodded her head, but didn¡¯t look at me. Her full attention was on Halo. I hadn¡¯t expected her reaction to this newsst night. I¡¯d thought she and my father would be upset. Mom had lit up with the first real stirring of life in her eyes since losing Crosby, and that fact alone was why Dad was letting her have this. Linc and I had been prepared to defend the decision to keep Halo at my house and under family protection at least while she was pregnant, then help set her up in a nice, safe ce to live when the baby came. That had not been necessary. The only wailingst night had been from Saylor. Thankfully, her father had taken her and left. Gathe had gone to get her when Oz called to tell him. I listened to my mother prattle on about the different tea options as I walked away. At least the girl was good for something. Making my mom happy. She owed her that after being the cause of her son¡¯s death. Tore Up: Chapter 15 Peppermint tea was delicious, and Bane had been wrong about the scones. The blueberry one was my favorite. Especially with the creamy butter stuff on them. I was finally starting to rx some. Grissele Cash would be as intimidating as her older son if she wasn¡¯t so nice. Not only was she the image of elegance, but she held herself so regally that I felt frumpy in her presence. Her obvious joy about my pregnancy was the first response to my unborn child that was positive. ¡°Tell me about your parents,¡± she said in a gentle tone, as if she already knew something. I was sure Bane had clued them in already. She had asked me how I¡¯d met Crosby and listened avidly while I reyed the story that I had told Than this morning. ¡°Um, my parents ¡­ well ¡­¡± I didn¡¯t want to disappoint this woman. The idea that my baby would have a grandparent who loved it so much made my heart swell. ¡°My mom died when I was three months old. My dad remarried shortly after, needing help with an infant, and my stepmother raised me.¡± That, hopefully, was enough. Her expression seemed pained. ¡°And your stepmother moved out, Bane said, and then your father left too?¡± I nodded, twisting the linen napkin in myp. Was she going to also make the assumption I¡¯d done something terribly wrong to make my family desert me? If I had another reason, I would exin it, but I didn¡¯t. They simply did not care, and I had done all I could to make them care my entire life. I decided I had one truth that wasn¡¯t anything I wanted to share with someone, but perhaps it would ease her mind, discovering that the mother of her son¡¯s child wasn¡¯t full of awful, hidden traits. ¡°My mom had postpartum. It was bad, and she, uh ¡­ well, she ended her life.¡± I looked down at my tea and reached for the handle, although I wasn¡¯t going to take a drink, unable to make eye contact as I said this aloud for the first time since hearing it myself. ¡°My dad mes me. I look like her, and he hates me for it. Seeing me is painful for him.¡± ¡°Oh my God,¡± she breathed, and then her hand reached across the table and covered mine. ¡°That¡¯s a horrible thing to put on a child. Postpartum isn¡¯t anyone¡¯s fault. But if it were, then it would have been your father¡¯s for not seeing it and getting her the help she needed.¡± My eyes were stinging. ¡°You think?¡± I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. She squeezed my hand. ¡°I know. It is a hormonal imbnce that can be treated. You were an innocent baby.¡± I lifted my eyes to meet hers. ¡°Thank you.¡± Her sympathetic gaze looked as if she might cry too. ¡°Someone should have told you that before now. You shouldn¡¯t have carried that on your shoulders.¡± I had already told this woman more baggage than I¡¯d told anyone. I might as well get it all out there. ¡°I didn¡¯t know why he hated me until before he leftst week. He was walking out the door, and I blurted it out. Asked him what I had done to him. Why he¡¯d always hated me. Before that, I¡¯d just stayed out of his way. When I was little, I¡¯d tried to get his attention, but he¡¯d made it clear he wanted nothing to do with me. I eventually stopped.¡± Grissele closed her eyes briefly, then opened them. ¡°Will you promise me something?¡± she asked. I wasn¡¯t sure I was ready to promise anyone anything. But I also didn¡¯t have it in me to tell her no. She¡¯d given me more attention and interest than my father and stepmother ever had in less than an hour. ¡°Okay,¡± I agreed, hoping it wasn¡¯t something I couldn¡¯t do. ¡°When¡ªnot if¡ªBane bes too much for you, don¡¯t leave. Come here. I have plenty of room. You can even have your own floor. When the babyes, I would love for you both to live here.¡± Live here? In a mansion, where they had tea and scones? It was a lovely offer, but I couldn¡¯t see myself fitting into this family. ¡°Please,¡± she said, looking so eager for me to agree that it made it impossible for me not to. ¡°That¡¯s very generous of you,¡± I said. She shook her head. ¡°It¡¯s not me being generous. It¡¯s me being selfish. I want to keep you and Crosby¡¯s baby close. Make sure you have everything you need. The very best. Crosby would have wanted that. He would have.¡± She was about to cry again. Crappity crap. Okay, fine. What was so bad about this? Bane would want to get rid of me soon, even if I couldn¡¯t find somewhere else to go. I might as welle where I was wanted. ¡°Okay,¡± I agreed. ¡°Thank you.¡± As I¡¯d suspected, her eyes filled with tears again as she beamed at me, then patted my hand. ¡°That¡¯s settled then. Now, let¡¯s talk about some happy things. Who is your OB-GYN? You have been to see one, right?¡± I paused, then shook my head. ¡°I don¡¯t have insurance. I was going to get Medicaid, then find a doctor who epts it.¡± Her expression was clearly horrified. She¡¯d been struck speechless, it seemed. Then, she stood up from her chair and walked over to the buffet table. I watched as she picked up a cell phone, then pressed a number as she made her way back to the table. ¡°Hello, Margo. It¡¯s Grissele Cash.¡± She paused, then gave me a reassuring smile. ¡°Yes. I need a prenatal appointment for a new patient with Connie, please. Immediately.¡± She lifted her eyes to me. ¡°Fourteen weeks along?¡± she asked. I nodded. ¡°That¡¯s what Dr. Hurl said.¡± How was she calling a doctor¡¯s office on a Sunday? ¡°Fourteen weeks. Tomorrow at ten is perfect. She¡¯s family. Halo Talley. Thank you.¡± She ended the call and smiled at me. ¡°Connie Ste is the best. She¡¯s delivered so many babies in this family. She delivered Crosby. She had only been in practice two years. Her dad had delivered Bane. You¡¯ll love her.¡± She¡¯d just heard me tell her that I didn¡¯t have insurance. This doctor didn¡¯t sound like someone who was going to take Medicaid. They were limited and not normally a ce that this woman would think was good enough. But then what did I know? I was assuming. ¡°I don¡¯t have Medicaid yet,¡± I said, not sure how else to say it without sounding ungrateful. She gave me a pointed look. ¡°Halo, this baby is my grandchild. We will handle all medical costs. I want you and the baby to have the best care avable. Connie is that.¡± I had never known families like this. Sure, I¡¯d watched simr ones from afar, but not to this extent. Where money was never an issue. Where I¡¯d gone to school, the wealthiest kids were middle ss. Anyone higher than that went to private schools. ¡°Thank you.¡± ¡°You¡¯re wee. But I should be the one thanking you.¡±
A doctor¡¯s appointment, lunch, and now five shopping bagster, I followed Grissele¡¯s driver, who was carrying all my bags of things. I¡¯d tried to tell her I didn¡¯t need help to get up to the door of Bane¡¯s house. The images from the ultrasound were tucked away safely in my new purse, which I wished I¡¯d never seen the price tag on. I was going to be scared to carry the thing around in public. When Grissele had noticed my anxiety over costs, she¡¯d stopped letting me see the price of things. Like the skirt and blouse I was currently wearing with my new bra¡ªbecause Bane was right; my bra had gotten too small. Dr. Ste had informed me it was from pregnancy andpletely normal. The driver, Ledbetter, rang the doorbell. ¡°Thanks for carrying all that for me,¡± I told him. He gave me a nod. ¡°Of course, ma¡¯am.¡± I wasn¡¯t a ma¡¯am, but I let it go. He was real formal about things. He was also veryrge. As in tall, muscr, and broad. He reminded me of a bouncer at a club instead of a driver for a richdy. The door swung open. Than looked from Ledbetter with my bags to me, and then his eyes widened in surprise before a smile spread across his face. ¡°Grissele got ahold of you, I see,¡± he said, then reached for the bags. ¡°Thanks, Led,¡± he said to the driver. ¡°Come on in, Hollywood.¡± I grimaced. ¡°Is it that bad?¡± Than closed the door and gave me a once-over. ¡°You look good.¡± I felt like a little girl, ying dress-up. Voices and music filtered from somewhere in the house. I looked toward where the sound wasing from. ¡°I¡¯ll introduce you to everyone, then take these upstairs for you,¡± Than said. Everyone? Who was everyone? ¡°Maybe I should go upstairs,¡± I suggested. He frowned. ¡°No. It¡¯s time you met the rest of the guys.¡± Bane stepped out into the hallway, blocking our path up ahead. He didn¡¯t even notice the bags. His gaze went past Than to me. ¡°Halo,¡± he said. ¡°Come with me.¡± Than let out a sigh. ¡°Now?¡± he asked. Bane lifted his brows slightly. ¡°Unless you want to take that up with Linc?¡± Than nced back at me. ¡°I¡¯ll put these in your room.¡± He didn¡¯t say more before heading toward the stairs. I was left with following Bane. Than hadn¡¯t wanted to argue with Linc either. Was anyone ever going to exin that to me? I walked into what appeared to be an office, and Linc was sitting on the edge of the desk with his legs crossed at the ankle and a ss of amber liquid in his right hand. ¡°How was shopping with Grissele?¡± Linc asked with a smirk, then took a drink. It was strange how they all seemed to know my schedule. As if I was being tracked at all times. ¡°Okay,¡± I replied. ¡°She enjoys it.¡± Linc chuckled. ¡°It seems you¡¯re good for her. We are all relieved she¡¯s out shopping again.¡± Then, he waved at one of the leather chairs in front of him. ¡°Have a seat, Halo.¡± What was wrong now? I nced over at Bane, but his normal hard-ass expression didn¡¯t help at all. Was this about Ares? What if they¡¯d gone to the police after all? He could be in prison. I wanted him to be. He belonged there. He was a murderer. I sat down. ¡°Did everything go smoothly at the doctor¡¯s appointment?¡± he asked. I nodded. ¡°Did you tell Dr. Ste you were having nightmares?¡± I swung my gaze to Bane. He rubbed his chin and shrugged. ¡°I can¡¯t keep sleeping half the night against the wall.¡± I¡¯d woken him up again while screamingst night, but he¡¯d not mentioned it this morning. He¡¯d barely acknowledged me at all. ¡°I did,¡± I told Linc, looking back at him. ¡°I have a prescription for it. Grissele took me to get all my medications filled.¡± Linc appeared pleased to hear that. Not as pleased as I was that Bane wouldn¡¯t be bursting in my room and shaking me awake, then sleeping against the wall. ¡°How far along are you?¡± he asked. ¡°Fourteen weeks,¡± I told him, ¡°and two days. I had an ultrasound done.¡± Linc took another drink. ¡°Very good.¡± He nced over at Bane, then back to me. ¡°Grissele has made it very clear she wants both you and the baby in the family. Everyone now knows about you and Crosby. I won¡¯t lie; there are a couple who will be difficult for a while, but we intend to keep you distanced from them.¡± Was he talking about Saylor? And why was he saying it like she was part of the family? ¡°Since this decision has been made, you need to know everything about us. Who Crosby was. Who we are. You are being brought in because you¡¯re the mother of his only child. The fact remains that Ares killed Crosby. We do not me you for his crime, but he is not absolved because of his rtion to you. He will pay for Crosby¡¯s life with his own.¡± I said nothing. I didn¡¯t know how they thought they were going to take a soldier from the United States Army and kill him, then get away with it. The way he¡¯d spoken made it sound like they were capable of doing whatever they wanted. As if they had some pull or control. The police had never shown up about Ronnie¡¯s and No¡¯s deaths. They had no fear of that either. Not a bit of concern. It hadn¡¯t even been brought up. It was like they were ¡­ the mob. I turned my head slowly and looked at Bane. The man who had held a knife to my throat in my bedroom. The man I¡¯d watched kill two men with a shot to their heads, as if it was something he did often. I could feel my pulse in my neck as my heart rate picked up. My breathing felt shallow. Bane¡¯s eyes locked with mine, and the cold, distant way he looked out of them made me shiver. Turning back to Linc, I stared at him. The tattoos on three of his fingers. What did they say?Content protected by N?v/el(D)rama.Org. ¡°Do you agree that your brother killing Crosby because you were pregnant was a sane choice? Was it a fair response? Had Crosby raped you?¡± I swallowed hard. ¡°No,¡± I replied. ¡°It was consensual.¡± I could hear my heartbeat pounding in my ears. ¡°Then, Crosby lost his life because he had fallen for you and had sex with you and you got pregnant. Were you on birth control?¡± Linc asked. ¡°No but Crosby knew that. He¡¯d asked me.¡± ¡°Did Crosby not use a condom while knowing this?¡± Linc asked. ¡°When I told him my period waste, he said that a condom broke one of the times, but he hadn¡¯t told me or wanted me to worry. Then, he gave me the money to go get a test.¡± ¡°Why would Ares kill Crosby when he found out you were pregnant? Do you know the answer to that?¡± I felt sweaty and sick all over as I shook my head. It was horrific. I hated thinking about it. ¡°He always had a temper, but it had been getting worse. If I¡¯d had any idea he was reading my texts and listening to my calls, I would have said something. But even then, I never would have imagined he would even consider doing that. I just¡ª¡± I let out a choked sob. ¡°God, I am so sorry.¡± ¡°We aren¡¯t ming you, Halo.¡± Linc¡¯s voice was soothing, but right now, there was nothing that could ease this. ¡°I am trying to get you to see that our killing him is what he deserves. It¡¯s vengeance. We don¡¯t stand by and allow our family to be attacked without striking back. It¡¯s part of our power. One of the reasons we are feared and respected.¡± I stared up at him, my breathing heavy. ¡°What is your family?¡± I asked, although I had a feeling that I had figured it out. Pieces were clicking into ce. Things that hadn¡¯t made sense suddenly did. ¡°The Southern Mafia. Our families go back for generations. The branches of the family are all inside the Southern states. There is one boss, but each branch has a head. I¡¯m the head of the Mississippi branch,¡± Linc exined. There was a Mafia in the South. Holy shit. ¡°I see,¡± I replied, although I was sure there was a lot I did not see. ¡°You need to understand that Crosby and Saylor began dating at a young age. They grew up together. Saylor¡¯s father, Gannon Rice, was the head of this branch. But his Parkinson¡¯s disease progressed until he could no longer hold that position. Gannon had no sons. ¡°I was sent to take over until¡±¡ªhe briefly flicked his gaze to Bane, then back to me¡ª¡°the eldest son of the next-oldest family in the Mississippi branch is named the head. ¡°Gannon¡¯s oldest daughter married a man in the Louisiana branch, and Saylor was always thought to wed Crosby one day. Losing Crosby was a devastation to us all. Your pregnancy, while it has given Grissele the will to get out of bed in the mornings, has ced a dark cloud over the Rice family. Saylor¡¯s memory of Crosby and what they had has been twisted. She¡¯s angry and hurt. She¡¯s also dramatic and very spoiled. Bane will make sure to keep you safely away from her so that you don¡¯t have to face that kind of reception. ¡°Grissele has made sure to get you the best medical care money can buy, and you will want for nothing. The family is now your family. The family who deserted you will no longer be connected to you in any way.¡± Wait. I tensed, gripping the armrest on the chair. ¡°What do you mean?¡± Linc stood up. ¡°Exactly what it sounds like, Halo. Ares will be killed. The others you will not have contact with.¡± They couldn¡¯t get to Ares, but I wasn¡¯t going to say that. He deserved to be in prison, and they could go to the police and make it happen although that wasn¡¯t what they were threatening to do. Why couldn¡¯t I see my other siblings? ¡°But my sister and little brothers,¡± I said. ¡°They left you without a word. I don¡¯t see how this is an issue,¡± Linc replied. ¡°Yes, but it was my stepmother who took them.¡± ¡°Do you even know where they are? How to find them? Do they know how to find you?¡± I sat there, wanting to burst into tears, but refusing to do it. He had a point. I didn¡¯t know. I wasn¡¯t sure they¡¯d look for me or not. But I had hoped I could find them one day, when I had the money to look. ¡°Halo, Carina told your stepmother about your pregnancy. She¡¯d read your texts. She helped your stepmother pack up the house and leave while you were at work. She wanted to leave you behind.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t know that!¡± I shot back at him, angry that he was making up stuff that wasn¡¯t true. ¡°Yes, I do,¡± he said, then reached over and pressed a button on an iPad. ¡°Hey.¡± The familiar sound of my sister¡¯s voice filled the room. ¡°Y¡¯all get packed up and out of there?¡± Ares asked. ¡°Yeah. On the road now. And I left the money alone that she keeps hidden in the closet. So, don¡¯t worry.¡± I sank back in the chair, listening to voices I knew, but couldn¡¯t understand how they were talking. Ares was at boot camp. How had he called Carina? ¡°I left the key to the house under the mat out front. I won¡¯t be there when y¡¯all arrive. Got held up.¡± ¡°Who the hell is gonna carry the heavy stuff? No won¡¯t be in Mobile to help. He said so after he finished loading us up.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll get what you can¡¯t in the morning. Chill.¡± ¡°What do you want to eat?¡± Iris¡¯s voice called out. ¡°A number two, no tomato,¡± Carina replied. ¡°Did you leave her the letter?¡± Ares asked. ¡°Mmhmm,¡± Carina said. ¡°On the counter, like I said to?¡± ¡°Yep. Your favorite sister will see her letter.¡± ¡°You¡¯re daddy¡¯s angel. Don¡¯t be a bitch.¡± ¡°Yes, I am. Besides, she¡¯s not your sister. Thank God. If she were, your gross obsession with her would be incestuous.¡± ¡°Carina, shut up!¡± Iris barked at her. ¡°God, you¡¯re a little shit,¡± Ares snarled. ¡°Whatevs. I have a burger to eat. Go whack one off, imagining Halo. Just think, she¡¯ll be living in that apartment with you. You can watch her shower all the time now and not use that creepy spy camera,¡± she said into the phone. Iris shouted Carina¡¯s name again. ¡°If you keep on, I¡¯m not helping you move your shit in,¡± Ares told her. ¡°Fine. Bye.¡± Then, the room went silent. No one spoke. The words were on repeat in my head. Would there evere a day that I didn¡¯t have something punch me in the stomach? ¡°When¡ª¡± My voice cracked. ¡°When was that call?¡± Although I¡¯d been able to tell. It was the day they left me. Ares wasn¡¯t at boot camp. He¡¯d not gone. It had been a lie, but why lie about that? ¡°The night they moved out,¡± Linc replied. ¡°You didn¡¯t get a note, did you?¡± I shook my head, and my throat burned with bile. I didn¡¯t want a note from Ares. What I¡¯d heard ¡­ I didn¡¯t want to think about that. It was disgusting. He was my brother. I was afraid I was about to be sick. ¡°How did you get that?¡± I asked. ¡°We have a lot of connections, and those within our ranks can pull just about anything from anywhere. Did you know Ares wasn¡¯t your brother?¡± I looked up at him. ¡°He is. What she said about¡ª¡± I grimaced, swallowing the sour rise in my throat. ¡°That¡¯s not true.¡± Linc sighed, then reached for a piece of paper. I took it. ¡°What is this?¡± ¡°DNA results from a test Ares had done to prove he wasn¡¯t Nick Talley¡¯s son. Seems he had known it for a while, but that was for you. To show to you. I believe it was probably one of the things he left you in the note that your sister didn¡¯t leave for you.¡± I handed it back to him and stood up. Holding out two hands, I shook my head. ¡°Please stop. I¡¯m going to be sick. I need air.¡± Bane moved quickly, jerking open the door, and I hurried out into the hallway, realizing I had no idea where the nearest bathroom was. ¡°Here,¡± Bane told me as he grabbed my arm and led me into a bathroom. I didn¡¯t look back as I dropped to my knees and heaved. Tore Up: Chapter 16 Ten Years Old Standing in the corner of the living room with the basket of cleanundry Iris had given me to fold and put away, I watched Nick and Carina. He had been away for seven days, working on a shrimping boat down on the Gulf. The doll he had brought Carina had silky blonde hair, like hers, and she was clutching it to her chest with a bright smile as she sat in hisp. I thought maybe since he¡¯d been gone so long this time that he¡¯d speak to me or ask about my report card, like he had with Carina and Ares. Carina¡¯s eyes met mine over his shoulder, and she beamed at me, waving her doll for me to see. I nodded and did my best to smile back. I¡¯d never had a doll like that one. Iris had bought me one at a yard sale once, but its hair had been cut in an odd way, and its face had some marker on it. I didn¡¯t y with dolls anymore anyway. I tried to think of good things. School would be out soon, and Iris would let us y in the sprinkler in the backyard. She would also buy those Popsicles that we pushed up. I had made all As on my report card, and my teacher had written a note and sent me home with it, saying I was the best reader in the ss. She¡¯d also said I was excelling in everything and that she had enjoyed having me this year. Ares had teased me about being a teacher¡¯s pet, but he was just jealous because he¡¯d barely passed most of his sses. ¡°Stop daydreaming, Halo, and get thatundry put away. The dishwasher is still broken, and I need these dishes washed so I can get to cooking supper without a mess in here,¡± Iris called, taking the cigarette in her mouth out, then putting it in the ashtray. ¡°I¡¯ll do the dishes,¡± Ares said, walking out of his bedroom and shooting a re at Nick holding Carina. ¡°That¡¯s a woman¡¯s job,¡± Nick told him. Ares ignored him and kept walking toward the kitchen. ¡°Ain¡¯t no such thing,¡± Iris told Nick. ¡°Least he helps out around here.¡± ¡°You said you¡¯d help me with my puzzle, Ares,¡± Carina wailed, wiggling out of Nick¡¯sp and running after him. ¡°I will after I do the dishes,¡± he told her grudgingly. She threw herself on the floor, getting ready to kick and scream, which was typical when she didn¡¯t get her way. ¡°I¡¯m almost done here,¡± I called out. ¡°Go help her with the puzzle. I will do the dishes.¡± Ares paused and looked in my direction. ¡°No. I don¡¯t care if she screams her ass off.¡± ¡°What did I tell you about cussing?!¡± Iris said to him. The first loud shriek came from Carina as she began to pound the floor with her small fists and kick. ¡°Jesus, girl, can you not go any faster than that?¡± Nick snapped at me. It was his first acknowledgment of my presence since he¡¯d returned. ¡°Yes, sir. I¡¯m sorry,¡± I said as I hurried to finish. The baby woke up from all of Carina¡¯s noise, and its cries joined hers. ¡°For fuck¡¯s sake,¡± Nick muttered and walked toward the front door. Iris came around the corner, carrying Alvin in her arms, and his pinched red face took in everything around him. ¡°Where are you going?!¡± she demanded. ¡°Somewhere without all the fucking noise,¡± he replied, and then the screen door mmed behind him. Iris swung her angry re to me. ¡°This is all your fault! If you¡¯d worked faster, none of this would have happened!¡± Tears burned my eyes, but I knew if I cried, she¡¯d take a wooden spoon to my butt. I nodded as I continued to try and match all the socks. Carina had stopped her outburst, but was sitting in the corner, sniffling loudly. Iris never took a spoon to her butt for crying. It was just me that got a spanking if I cried. I finished the folding and started putting the clothes away while Iris calmed Alvin back down and Carina forgot about her outburst, along with her new doll, which was on the floor. She sat in front of the television, watching a cartoon. Ares nced up at me with his hands in the soapy water at the sink. In a grade behind me in school, he was younger than I was, but he was three inches taller than me already. I had to use a stool to wash the dishes still.Content protected by N?v/el(D)rama.Org. ¡°Almost done,¡± he told me with a reassuring smile. ¡°I¡¯ll finish,¡± I said. He shook his head. ¡°No. I will do it. Go read the book you got from the library at school today.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve still got your homework to finish,¡± I argued. He rolled his eyes. ¡°I¡¯ll get it done. Like I said, almost finished in here. Please, go read your book. I know you want to. You talked about it nonstop on the bus.¡± Reaching up, he turned on the water and rinsed thest dish. ¡°Thanks for helping me.¡± He shrugged. ¡°No big deal.¡± But it was a big deal. Ares was always doing things like that. Sometimes, it felt like he was the only person in this house who liked me. Once Carina grew out of this baby stage, I was hoping she¡¯d be my friend too. Turning, I went back to the room I shared with Carina to read my library book. Tore Up: Chapter 17 I stood outside the bathroom door, waiting on Halo to finish. Linc stepped out of the office, and his eyes met mine. ¡°That¡¯s enough for today,¡± I told him. I knew he had more he was going to tell her, but it would have to wait. ¡°Better to get it out there so she can move on,¡± he began. ¡°No,¡± I said. ¡°No more.¡± Linc looked like he was going to veto my decision, but he hesitated, then nodded. ¡°Fine. But we are telling her the rest of it. We aren¡¯t keeping it from her. She needs to know.¡± My mrs ached from the clenching I¡¯d been doing all fucking day. Ares being strung up underground, still breathing, was making it hard for me to remain calm. The more I learned about the sick bastard, the more I wanted to slice his throat. Take him out of this world. I nodded my head once. Linc nced at the closed bathroom door. ¡°She might be better off at the ranch. With your mom.¡± ¡°No,¡± I snapped. ¡°Mom isn¡¯t ready for that.¡± Linc cocked an eyebrow at me. ¡°All right. Your call. We need to finish it up underground.¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± I agreed. I was tired of looking at the bastard strung up down there. I heard the toilet flush, and Linc turned to leave. Relief that he was gone and we weren¡¯t doing any more of this shit today was immediate. Stress wasn¡¯t good for the baby. I¡¯d read about it online. I wasn¡¯t allowing anything to happen to all we had left of Crosby. Protecting Halo was the only way to make sure the baby was safe. I¡¯d do whatever I fucking had to, including going against Linc, if it came down to it. She turned off the water, and I stepped back as she opened the door. The vomiting thing was supposed to have stopped by now. I¡¯d read that, too, but she was doing an awful lot of it. Had she mentioned that to the doctor? Her eyes were ssy as she stared up at me. ¡°You said you had an ultrasound.¡± She nodded. ¡°Don¡¯t you get pictures of that?¡± She nodded again. I paused before asking, ¡°Can I see them?¡± The surprise in her expression shouldn¡¯t have insulted me, but it did. ¡°Yeah, uh, my purse is in that room,¡± she said, looking in the direction of the room like that was thest ce she ever wanted to go. ¡°Linc is gone for today,¡± I told her. She inhaled a shaky breath. ¡°Okay.¡± But she remained rooted in her spot. That had been a lot to dump on her. Hell, when we¡¯d pulled the shit off the sick bastard¡¯s phone once we had him, it had been a fucking lot for me. He had all the calls on his sister¡¯s phone recorded and sent to his phone. Guessed the fucker hadn¡¯t thought about the calls that he¡¯d made to her phone. We had all that too. Not just the ones between Crosby and Halo. I hadn¡¯t listened to all of them, but after hearing the few conversations between Crosby and Halo that Linc had forced me to listen to, I couldn¡¯t deny that my brother had loved the girl. ¡°I¡¯ll get your purse,¡± I said when it was clear she wasn¡¯t going to go in there. She let out a sigh so small that I would have missed it if I hadn¡¯t been so close to her. I went to get her purse and paused when I picked it up, then shook my head. My mother couldn¡¯t buy a normal purse. She¡¯d had to buy one that cost a few grand. I doubted Halo had any clue how much this thing had cost. I went back out into the hallway and handed it to her.Content protected by N?v/el(D)rama.Org. She opened it, then pulled out several photos. ¡°I have these, but your mom has the video on her phone. I didn¡¯t have anything they could send the video to, so I don¡¯t have that. Your mom had them do a 4D Ultraasound.¡± I took the pictures. My hand shook as I stared down at the first color photo. For some reason, I¡¯d thought ultrasounds were ck and white, and it was difficult to figure out what the baby¡¯s body parts were. These were so fucking clear that I could see my brother¡¯s nose and the exact shape of his mouth. I moved to the next one, and there were perfect tiny feet with ten toes. She was just fourteen weeks, and this was already looking like a human being. One that my brother had helped create. Moving to the next one, I stilled as I read the words typed at the top. I¡¯d have been able to make that out without being told, but reading it was still hitting me hard. I swallowed and took a deep breath in through my nose. Fuck, this hurt like a bitch. There was no hiding the way my hand trembled as I held it. ¡°It¡¯s a boy,¡± I said, my voice sounding thick. ¡°Yeah,¡± she replied softly. ¡°He kicks a lot too. On the video, he was very active. When he¡¯s big enough for me to feel him, it¡¯s going to be interesting.¡± I handed the photos to her, trying to hold myself together. She took one and gave it back to me. ¡°You can have this,¡± she said simply. I reached out and took it quickly in case she changed her mind. Watching as she tucked the others into her designer purse, I realized I was no longer bitter about my mother spending money on her. I was surprised my mom hadn¡¯t bought her a fucking car after seeing this. I needed to be alone. Without another word, I stalked off, leaving her behind. I couldn¡¯t allow those emotions in. Not with a job to finish. That kind of emotion made a man weak. I would never be that.
The concrete cell under the ground in the dense, wooded area on the farthest point of my father¡¯s two hundred acres was concealed beneath a hidden trap door. Reaching into the brush, I ced my palm t on the smooth metal underneath. The security feature read my palm, and a small click followed. Grabbing the handle, I pulled the door up, and the light from inside spilled out, illuminating the darkness. The damp smell of earth, tinged with that of blood, met me as I walked down into the area where Ares Talley had been hanging for the past forty-eight hours. Lowering the door over my head, I went deeper inside. His wails of agony had faded to moans since he¡¯d been brought down here. I¡¯d stayed away since then because I hadn¡¯t trusted myself not to kill him too quickly. That was too good for him. I would live the rest of my life with the endless ache inside my soul from the loss of my brother. The bastard¡¯sst days on earth should be a living hell, just in case there wasn¡¯t an actual one for him to burn in. Linc stood, leaning against the wall, with his arms crossed over his chest, observing Ares, while Oz sat on a stool, sharpening a knife. The sound was one that I found satisfying. He nced up as I walked into the cell. The chains that held Ares up by his wrists rattled as he used what strength he had left to try and move back away from me. I smirked at the image he made. I¡¯d snapped thest time I was here and enjoyed breaking his bones while he screamed out in pain. Oz had taken the knife from me, knowing I would regret it if I sliced his throat too soon. ¡°Our guest seems excited to see you,¡± Oz replied. ¡°He¡¯s been quieter since I threatened to slice out his tongue.¡± My chuckle was anything but amused. It was sinister, even to my own ears. I moved closer to him as his eyes darted from my hands to my face with panic clear on his swollen, bruised face. ¡°I¡¯m not a doc, but my guess is, he¡¯s more than likely got some internal bleeding. It¡¯s only a trickle, but you need to go on and move this along while you have him alive,¡± Linc told me. The beating I¡¯d given him before I snapped several of his bones had been the kind meant to do permanent damage. Linc had a point. I wanted my face to be what he saw as he drowned on his own blood. He needed to go to hell, remembering who had sent him there. I hoped there was one. ¡°Why?¡± His voice was a strangled rasp. I¡¯d tracked him down, taken him, then beaten him unconscious, never once telling him why. The beauty of him hanging here, suffering, starving, dehydrating, with no idea why was something that Crosby would have appreciated. ¡°You killed my brother,¡± I told him. There was an immediate flicker of realization in his eyes. I held my hand out, palm up, toward Oz. The freshly sharpened de was warm as he ced it in my hand. ¡°I didn¡¯t,¡± he gasped. The mocking grin on my lips didn¡¯t meet my eyes. ¡°I should warn you, for every lie, I¡¯ll slice off one of your fingers.¡± If his face wasn¡¯t covered in shades of blue and purple, I was sure it would be pale. He said nothing. ¡°This is vengeance,¡± I told him. ¡°He raped my sister.¡± His words had more force this time than before. Rage that I¡¯d kept just beneath the surface began burning inside my veins. I wrapped my fingers around his wrist and sliced off his thumb. He retched while crying out. I released him and stepped out of the way. ¡°Hard lesson to learn,¡± Oz said to him as he put an unlit cigarette in his mouth. ¡°Let me guess ¡­ you didn¡¯t do well in school.¡± ¡°She¡¯s pregnant. Not a lie!¡± he sobbed. I wiped the de clean on his shirt. ¡°I¡¯m aware. She had her ultrasound today,¡± I told him, then patted the back pocket of my jeans. ¡°I have the photo she gave me in my wallet.¡± The darkening in his gaze glinted with hate. He didn¡¯t like knowing I had seen her or spoken to her. I¡¯d use that to torture him further. ¡°She¡¯s in my house, you know. Sleeping under my roof. I can see why my brother wanted her.¡± I nced over at Oz. ¡°Gorgeous, isn¡¯t she?¡± Although Oz hadn¡¯t actually met her yet. Oz nodded. ¡°Smoking hot.¡± Ares was breathing faster. I smiled as I said, ¡°Those freckles over her nose? I think that¡¯s my favorite thing. Damn adorable.¡± He tried to move again, as if he could break free. ¡°But back to my brother. She willingly spread her legs for him,¡± I said, enjoying the way his body trembled at my words. He didn¡¯t want to hear this, which meant that was exactly what he was going to be taunted with while I cut him up into pieces. ¡°The spy gear you had on your sister¡¯s phone was incredibly helpful. All the phone calls between those two? Well, you know; you heard them. Just how much she liked my brother. How she wanted to be with him.¡± He tried to growl, but it came out more like a gurgle. ¡°She was innocent and naive,¡± he spat out. ¡°I made sure to keep guys away from her. It was me who kept her safe. She needed me. She needs me now.¡± With a sardonic curl of my lips, I shook my head. ¡°That¡¯s just what you told yourself. The sick obsession you have with her. Living in the same house. Growing up together. You were her brother, but you wanted her. Watched her shower. Beat off to her naked body. All the while, she was clueless.¡± His eyes were watery¡ªeither from the pain or perhaps the understanding that he was going to die down here. ¡°I took care of her. They used her and gave her no attention. She had to clean and ¡­¡± He struggled to speak. His voice came and went. ¡°They treated her like an unwanted burden. I understand her. She¡¯s starved for affection. It¡¯s why she was so easy.¡± I¡¯d heard the phone calls and the cruel things the other sister had said about Halo. But I hadn¡¯t been sure that her father and stepmother were equally as cold. It seemed that they were. ¡°So, you¡¯re saying she has daddy issues,¡± I drawled, knowing it would infuriate him. His jerk against the chains this time was harder. Almost impressive for someone who had blood running down their arm the way he did. ¡°She needs me,¡± he choked out. I leaned close to him, giving him a piercing look. Making sure he heard me correctly. ¡°No. She hates you. She¡¯s disgusted by what she heard on those phone calls between you and Carina. When she found out you¡¯d watched her in the shower, she ran to the toilet and threw up. Heaving over and over.¡± He loathed me and every word I spoke. I reveled in it. Perhaps this was part of his hell. Dying with that image in his head. ¡°Since she found out you had shot and killed the father of her child, she¡¯s started having nightmares. She screams at night in horror. Often calling out my brother¡¯s name.¡± I ran the tip of the knife down the side of his face, making sure to slice the skin as I did so. ¡°But don¡¯t worry. I go take care of her. Soothe her.¡± ¡°No!¡± he snarled out. The torment of me touching her was making him insane. ¡°Does that anger you?¡± I taunted. ¡°That I can touch her whenever I want? That she lives in my house and I take care of her? I make sure she is fed properly. Has everything she needs.¡± ¡°She¡¯s mine.¡± His words were ragged. I chuckled. ¡°She doesn¡¯t want you. But even if she did, she can¡¯t belong to a dead man. That¡¯s why you killed my brother, isn¡¯t it? So she couldn¡¯t be with him. Just as I¡¯m going to kill you, and she will never be yours.¡± ¡°Please,¡± he whimpered. I looked over at Oz. ¡°Ah, and now, he begs,¡± I said. ¡°That¡¯s always my favorite,¡± he replied. My eyes met Linc¡¯s as he stood there, silently watching me. I turned back to Ares. The sound of someone elseing down into the cer made me pause and wait. I knew Than wasing, and I didn¡¯t want to do too much until he was here. He had his own vengeance to seek. Than walked into the room, and he barely nced at the other two before he looked from me to Ares. His face hardened as he red at the man. I held out the knife to him, and he stalked forward, taking it. He only studied Ares for a moment before deciding where he wanted to begin. The de¡¯s swift swing sent an ear falling to the floor as the man¡¯s yells tore from his chest. ¡°I held his head, you motherfucker,¡± Than hissed as he stuck his hand into Ares¡¯s mouth and pulled his tongue before cutting it out. ¡°He was my best friend, and I couldn¡¯t do anything to save him. I had to just sit there and tell him it would be okay when it wasn¡¯t going to be!¡± Reaching up, Than took a hand and began to take off one finger at a time, while letting out an animalistic roar as each one fell to the ground. Blood poured from Ares¡¯s mouth, and without his tongue, he could only babble. When Than stepped back, his chest was heaving, and blood covered his hands. I took the knife from him and enjoyed the image that Ares made. Only four fingers were left on the hand where I¡¯d taken his thumb. Blood coated most of his body. His loud noises as he jerked and shook grew weaker. His beady eyes stared back at me, and I wanted him to soak in the view. Take this face with him for all eternity. ¡°She would have never been yours. You know that, don¡¯t you? Even if my brother hadn¡¯te along, someone else would have. With a face and body like hers, she was always gonna be out of your reach,¡± I told him, stepping up and thrusting the knife into hisid dick, then slicing down and through his balls. ¡°He¡¯s fading,¡± Linc warned. ¡°If you want him to choke on his own blood, then you¡¯d better slice his throat now.¡± I saw his life barely hanging on. Raising the de, I looked him in the eye and spit in his face. ¡°You¡¯re gonna die, never knowing just how sweet her pussy is,¡± I told him, then shed across the arteries I¡¯d been trained to hit the year I turned eighteen. We stood in silence while blood squirted from his throat as he spasmed. The choking sound that came didn¡¯t soothe my pain or give me my brother back. But it did take the sick bastard from this world. My nephew would never know his name or that he had once existed. Tore Up: Chapter 18 I found somewhere to put away thest of the things that Grissele had bought for me. She had asked if she could take me to get me a new bra that fit, and I agreed, thinking I was going to pay for it. That was not what happened. It hadn¡¯t taken me long to realize I¡¯d been tricked into a shopping spree. I had three new bras. She had insisted that I have a white, beige, and ck one. If I¡¯d let her, she¡¯d have bought me every color under the rainbow, but I¡¯d assured her that these were more than enough. The panties, silk pajama sets, and bikinis, however, she snuck in there somehow. I hadn¡¯t realized she had added those until I unpacked the bags. I¡¯d felt a little like she was ying dress-up with me when she took me to buy outfits that would work with my growing stomach. There were three differentdies who brought me clothing to arge, private area with a dressing room. Grissele sat on in a high-back white velvet chair, drinking a ss of champagne, while I tried things on, then came out to model them for her. She was so happy about it all that I just let her have her way. Telling her I didn¡¯t need that much was pointless. She¡¯d argued that I would indeed need it very soon. Then, there were the four pairs of new shoes and, of course, my purse. The dresser in this room wasn¡¯t nearlyrge enough to hold all she¡¯d bought. I had taken out my things that were in there and moved them to the corner, folded neatly, then put the new things that weren¡¯t on hangers in the drawers. The outfits that were in the clothing bag and needed to be hung, I kept them in the bag andid it over the top of the dresser. Unwrapping the picture frame I had picked up in thest store she had taken me to, I put it on the bed, then got my photos and chose the one of his little face to put in it. The frame was a blue heart, outlined in opal-colored rhinestones. cing his photo inside, I smiled down at it, remembering how surreal it had been to see him moving on therge screen today and realizing that he was inside me. I ced the photo on the bedside table, then sat on the edge of the bed to look at it. Grissele had cried andughed during the ultrasound. She¡¯d said he had Crosby¡¯s nose and lips. I studied it and had to agree. He did. I wondered if he would be as beautiful as Crosby. I wanted him to have Crosby¡¯s hair. I¡¯d loved his hair. Pulling my feet up, I crossed them and let my thoughts go to my son. I couldn¡¯t think about the other stuff. The things Linc had told me. What I¡¯d heard. If I went there, I would fall apart again. I didn¡¯t want to allow that emotion in. Too much hurt from my family had already marked me. It was a part of who I had be. The choices I¡¯d made. Knowing that they hadn¡¯t just left me, but it had been nned by all of them. They¡¯d known I was pregnant and had no problem leaving me on my own. No. I was thinking happy thoughts. The baby in that photo was the happiest thought I¡¯d had in a very long time. I hadn¡¯t expected to feel the joy that hit me today at the sight of him. It surprised me. As I¡¯d watched him, it had sunk in that I loved him, and no matter what I had to do, I¡¯d protect him. He would never feel alone or unwanted. I would love him so much that he never questioned his self-worth. ¡°Knock, knock,¡± a deep voice said. I turned to see Than standing in the doorway. ¡°Hey.¡± ¡°You never came to the game room,¡± he said to me. ¡°Thought you might be hungry.¡± ¡°I¡¯m good, but thank you, and thanks for bringing up all my things.¡± He shrugged and walked into the room. ¡°I was happy to. So, how¡¯d the appointment go?¡± I pointed at the frame, and he came closer, then took a seat beside me on the bed. He stared at it silently for several moments. Then, he sucked in a deep breath. ¡°The blue means it¡¯s a him?¡± he asked, his voice a raspy whisper. ¡°Yes,¡± I replied. ¡°Whew. Damn,¡± he said, then chuckled softly. ¡°I need a minute.¡± He rubbed at his face and sighed, then sniffled a little before looking back at the photo, then at me. ¡°I know moms hate to hear this, but your kid looks like his dad.¡± Iughed. ¡°I don¡¯t mind. I thought his dad was beautiful.¡± ¡°We could have saved the trouble of a paternity test and just had the fucking ultrasound,¡± he joked. ¡°That baby has Cash written all over it. I bet Grissele was a mess when she saw this. I mean, a happy mess.¡± I nodded. ¡°She cried andughed a lot.¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± he said, looking at the photo. ¡°You showed Bane.¡± It wasn¡¯t a question, but I nodded anyway. ¡°That¡¯s why he¡¯s been MIA. I guess I hadn¡¯t thought of it as being real yet, and seeing him and seeing Crosby in him, that¡¯s ¡­ intense. Bane, he¡¯s not an emotional guy. Most assholesck that ability, but the past two months, he¡¯s had emotions rip him open. This picture ¡­ ¡± He blew out a breath. ¡°If it shook me, I know it was a hard m in the chest for him.¡± He held up his hands. ¡°Not bad. I mean, good. It¡¯s ¡­ it¡¯s like he¡¯s notpletely gone. If that makes sense.¡± When he talked about all Bane had been through and the pain he¡¯d suffered, it was difficult to hate him for holding a knife at my throat and firing off a gun so close to the side of my head. He had a tortured soul, and when all the reasons were peeled back, it came down to me. Crosby would be alive if he had never met me. Bane had every right to hate me. Than pped his hands on the tops of his thighs. ¡°Okay, that¡¯s enough of that. Come downstairs and eat. Everyone is gone. They headed to Locke and Gathe¡¯s. We¡¯ve got pizza, hot wings, and cheesy bread left over.¡± His expression was so hopeful as he stood up and held out a hand to me that I didn¡¯t want to tell him no. Iid my hand in his, and he tugged me up. ¡°You can keep mepany. How do you feel about horror films?¡± ¡°Um ¡­¡± I replied, not sure that was good for me and my nightmares, but I did have the sleep aid that the doctor had given me. ¡°Scary-dolls horror or psychos?¡± I asked him. He wiggled his eyebrows. ¡°Neither. Aliens.¡± I thought for a minute, and that seemed unrealistic. ¡°The old one?¡± I¡¯d seen that one, and I hadn¡¯t thought it was that scary. ¡°New. Alien: Romulus.¡± Aliens were not going to bother me. ¡°I think I¡¯ll manage.¡±N?velDrama.Org: text ? owner. He beamed before heading down the stairs. ¡°Come on, little momma. Let¡¯s go have us a movie night.¡± I paused. ¡°What did you just call me?¡± He nced over his shoulder. ¡°Little momma. It fits. Don¡¯t be difficult.¡± Iughed, and he continued down the stairs. That felt good. Laughing. I understood why this was Crosby¡¯s best friend. He was easy to be around and impossible not to like.
I pulled back the covers on my bed, then brushed my fingers along the silky edge of my new sleep shorts. They were a pretty pale blue and felt amazing. I¡¯d never owned a pair of actual pajamas. I had always slept in Ares¡¯s old shirts or a tank top and a pair of panties. These felt so luxurious; I understood the reason people wanted to wear them to sleep. There was a knock on my door, and I straightened, looking at the door, confused. Who was that? No one had been here when the movie ended, and I¡¯d told Than good night beforeing up here. ¡°Come in?¡± I said, although it sounded a little like a question. The door opened, and Bane appeared. He didn¡¯t enter, but leaned against the doorframe. His hair looked damp, and I¡¯d think it was from a shower, but the wifebeater he was wearing clung to his chest. There was also a sheen to his skin that I tried not to dwell on as I managed to smile at him. Keeping my eyes on his face was difficult though because he had on shorts, and I was pretty sure I¡¯d glimpsed bare feet. I was curious. That was all. ¡°Enjoy the movie?¡± he asked. I scrunched my nose. ¡°It was scarier than I¡¯d thought it would be.¡± He narrowed his gaze. ¡°It¡¯s not gonna have you screaming in the middle of the night, is it?¡± I picked up the pill bottle with my new sleep aids in it, then showed him. ¡°Let¡¯s hope these work.¡± Bane flicked his eyes to the bottle, then stopped and went back to the framed picture on the nightstand. He looked at it for a moment, then turned his attention back to me. ¡°I saw the video of the ultrasound,¡± he told me. ¡°If you want to see it again, let me know. I have it on my phone now.¡± He¡¯d asked his mom for it. That made me feel ¡­ almost warm toward him. ¡°I¡¯d like to see it tomorrow, if that¡¯s okay,¡± I told him. He nodded. ¡°I¡¯ll tell you what. I¡¯ll load it to the system in the great room and show you how to watch it whenever you want.¡± Delight trickled through me at the idea of being able to do that. ¡°Really? That¡¯s ¡­ thank you,¡± I replied. He nodded his head once, then pushed off from the frame and reached for the doorknob to close the door without another word. I stood there, listening to his footsteps on the stairs until they were gone. What had just happened? Had we just ¡­ had a pleasant conversation? Shaking my head at the thought, I climbed into bed, hoping that small pill worked its magic.
My eyes opened, and the sunlight shone through my window. I stared at it, realizing I¡¯d not woken up all night. Taking a deep breath, I paused. Frowning, I inhaled again. Why did I smell fresh-cut oak, smoke, and spice? That was what Bane smelled like, and although it frustrated me, how enticing it was, I shouldn¡¯t be smelling him. I swung my gaze to the closed door. His tiny visit in my doorframest night would not have left his scent clinging to the room like this. Would it? Besides, he had been sweaty. I doubted he smelled that good when he was coated in sweat. If he did, that was just an unfair advantage. Sitting up, I looked down at my bed and studied it. My sheets weren¡¯t a tangled mess around my legs, but almost too smooth. As if I hadn¡¯t moved all night long. Normally, I threw a leg out or kicked some off. This appeared untouched. Bane¡¯s scent was still surrounding me. Maybe it was a pregnancy thing. I was concocting a smell I liked in my memory. That would really suck if that was the case. If my subconscious was going to choose scents, then I¡¯d like another one, please. Any other one. Just not Bane¡¯s. Shaking that thought away, I stood up. This must be some weird aftereffect of the sleep aid. With a quick peek at my baby boy on the bedside table, I smiled, then headed over to decide on something to wear. I hadn¡¯t discussed with Bane what I would do during the days. While I lived here, I couldn¡¯t just lie around like a diva. There were five men in this house, so there had to be plenty of dirtyundry. Everything was always so clean; I didn¡¯t know who was doing that, but I¡¯d find out. Maybe I could find a job. I didn¡¯t know how far away they were from town. Getting there and back would be an issue, unless one of them had a bike. Mine had been left at No¡¯s apartment. I stilled, closed my eyes, and pushed that memory back, refusing to start thinking about all of that again. So far, today had started out good. I¡¯d slept all night. Bane hadn¡¯t been forced toe wake me up and sleep on the floor. No thinking about the bad. I had to keep from stressing and worrying. My attitude affected the baby. I¡¯d read that in the book Dr. Ste had given me. That reminded me. It had examples of meals I should be eating to get all the right things for the baby. I¡¯d not been doing a good job of that, and today, I was going to make an effort to do it correctly. I wondered who did their grocery shopping. I could do that for them. Grabbing a pair of ck linen shorts, a sleeveless white top with ck piping, my white bra, and a pair of new ck satin-andce panties, I headed for the bathroom to get a shower. I intended to get myself together today. Focus on my pregnancy. The other things¡ªthe stuff that hurt, Crosby¡¯s death, the family that didn¡¯t want me¡ªthat was all off-limits in my head. Tore Up: Chapter 19 ¡°Locke in the guest room again?¡± Ransom asked as he walked into the kitchen, going straight for the coffee machine. I yawned and nodded as I stood over the stove, adding bacon to my omelet. ¡°Curious about what¡¯s gonnae of that?¡± he asked me. I knew he wasn¡¯t talking about Locke. It was Saylor and Gathe he was referring to. Since finding out about Halo and the baby, she¡¯d been clinging to Gathe. That also meant crying and dramatic fits regrly. Which was why Locke wouldn¡¯t stay at the house he shared with his brother. It was annoying as fuck. ¡°I reckon Gathe will eventually get what he¡¯s always wanted,¡± I replied, not caring either way. Ransom took his espresso and turned to me. ¡°You¡¯re gonna need to see a chiropractor if you keep sleeping with your back against a wall.¡± I cut my eyes at him. ¡°What? My room is closest to the stairs. I heard you go up when she was screaming and note down them until six thirty this morning.¡± I didn¡¯t want to talk about that. Last night, well, I hadn¡¯t really had a fucking option. Whatever the doctor had given Halo, it kept her asleep all right, but it didn¡¯t stop her nightmares. I couldn¡¯t wake her up. Tears rolled down her face, and she gasped out Crosby¡¯s name over and over. The only thing that calmed her was me getting in that tiny-ass bed and holding her. She¡¯d clung to me as her sobbing eased and finally went back to sleep. I tried to move twice, and she whimpered. The fact that I¡¯d fallen asleep and slept peacefully for the first time in two fucking months wasn¡¯t lost on me. I was going to believe it¡¯d had nothing to do with holding Halo, but finally watching the son of a bitch who had killed Crosby die. ¡°You could move her to the guest room. It¡¯s a king-size bed. No sleeping against a wall,¡± Ransom suggested. ¡°Of course, Locke won¡¯t fit in that twin on the third floor. He¡¯ll have to either put up with Saylor¡¯s shit or send her ass home.¡±Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org. Why did this fucker always wake up so damn chatty? I moved my omelet to a te, then turned off the burner. ¡°It¡¯ll be fine,¡± I said when he kept looking at me, waiting for a response. ¡°She¡¯s pregnant, and after she gets over all the shit that has happened to her in the past week, this will pass.¡± At least I hoped so because I could not climb into that damn twin bed another night with her body all pressed up against me. That had fucked up my head. I¡¯d woken up with my nose in her hair, smelling her like a psychopath. When I realized just how tangled up together we were, I snapped out of it real damn fast and got the hell out of there, making sure to straighten her covers. Last thing I¡¯d needed was her waking up and seeing another body imprint in the sheets. ¡°You make extra bacon?¡± Ransom asked, walking over to the fridge and turning on the news. He and Than were the only two who ever used that screen. ¡°No,¡± I replied gruffly, then sat down at the bar with my breakfast. I heard footsteps and paused, but they were too heavy to be Halo¡¯s. I¡¯d hoped to get the hell out of this house before she came down this morning. Yesterday had been too much. Seeing Crosby¡¯s son and knowing she was carrying him hit me in an unexpected way. I found myself instantly softening toward her. Wanting to keep her safe. That baby had be the most important thing in my life. I needed it to be okay. Hearing Ares talk about her life before hadn¡¯t helped. It¡¯d only prodded me. A need to protect her was trying to inch its way to the surface. I wouldn¡¯t allow it though. And I would not let her think my concern for my nephew meant she and I were friends. We would never be friends. She was the vessel holding the life that was giving my family a piece of my brother. Nothing more. Than entered the kitchen, and his gaze locked on me instantly. I shoved some omelet into my mouth before he started asking the same nosy shit Ransom had. They all had heard her scream, just like they¡¯d all heard me go upstairsst night. It wasn¡¯t something I could hide. She was fucking loud. ¡°Mornin¡¯,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯m making bacon. Want some?¡± Ransom asked him. ¡°Yes, please,¡± he drawled and grabbed a mug from the cab. He was shirtless again. That annoyed me. Was it so hard to put on a fucking shirt? ¡°Meds didn¡¯t work, huh?¡± Than said as he leaned back against the counter while the machine made whatever coffee option he¡¯d chosen. ¡°What? Did the screaming give that away?¡± Ransom replied sarcastically. Than swung his gaze to Ransom. ¡°Don¡¯t be a dick. She can¡¯t help it.¡± He chuckled, putting some more bacon on the skillet. ¡°Sounds like Than here wouldn¡¯t mind sleeping against the wall at night. Why don¡¯t you let him go running up the stairs tonight?¡± Not happening. ¡°If you want a break, I can do it,¡± he immediately offered. I lifted my eyes from my te and leveled them on him. ¡°She¡¯s pregnant with Crosby¡¯s son.¡± He nodded. ¡°I¡¯m well aware.¡± My grip on the fork tightened. ¡°She¡¯s not going to be your next fuck friend.¡± Than straightened as his face hardened, along with his now-tense body. ¡°Do you actually think I¡¯d do that? To her? The girl my best friend was in love with?¡± I took another bite of my food. I didn¡¯t know what he¡¯d do, but I knew what she looked like. I knew he sure as hell was finding ways to spend time with her. Like their movie night they¡¯d had. ¡°She¡¯s young and emotional. Don¡¯t mess with her head,¡± I said as I stood up. He hadn¡¯t heard all the things that Ares had saidst night. He had shown up and cut the bastard¡¯s tongue out before he could spew any more shit. ¡°I¡¯m being her friend. She needs one of those. It doesn¡¯t help for us to treat her like she¡¯s alone and unwanted here. Crosby wouldn¡¯t have wanted that.¡± I was so fucking tired of hearing what my brother would have wanted. I knew Than was his best friend, but I was his brother. I knew what he¡¯d have wanted, and I knew I wasn¡¯t doing it right, but I was trying to handle it the best way I could. My sanity was an issue, too, and Halo moving into Crosby¡¯s room was not happening. ¡°Just remember it¡¯s friendship you¡¯re offering her,¡± I said, dropping my te and fork into the sink. ¡°What¡¯s that supposed to mean?¡± he shot back at me. ¡°He¡¯s just pointing out that she¡¯s a smokeshow. You get close to her, and ¡­ well, you¡¯re a guy. Lines could blur for you. Don¡¯t let it,¡± Ransom told him. Why were they all so fucking focused on how she looked? She wasn¡¯t the only beautiful female they¡¯d ever seen. We had hot ass here on the regr. Halo did not own the fucking market with her looks. I punched the coffee machine harder than necessary, trying to tamp down my annoyance. ¡°Don¡¯t break it,¡± Than said. ¡°Forge broke off the fucking with that chick whose dad owns thepany that makes it. And with all the bitching you did when we reced the Keurig with it, I doubt you¡¯re gonna pay to have it fixed.¡± I wasn¡¯t responding to that. The sound of footsteps caused me to pause. They were softer. Way too light to belong to one of the swinging dicks in this house. I¡¯d not gotten out fast enough. Fuck. ¡°Good morning, little momma.¡± Than¡¯s greeting grated on me. What the fuck was he calling her that for? She had a name. I grabbed my coffee and turned to leave. Her bright-eyed look caused me to pause. She smiled at Than, then shifted her attention to me. ¡°Good morning,¡± she replied to me as if I¡¯d been the one to say it. ¡°I was hoping to talk to you before you left,¡± she told me. Damn. Had I not fixed the covers good enough? I raised an eyebrow as I drank from my cup, not wanting her to feel exactlyfortable with me. If she brought up the fact that I¡¯d been in her bed most of the night in front of these two fuckers, I¡¯d never hear the end of it. She cleared her throat in a nervous way, and her gaze flickered past me to Than. Don¡¯t go doing that. He will get the wrong idea, and I don¡¯t trust him or his cock. ¡°I, uh ¡­ who cleans the house? I noticed it¡¯s always so tidy, and I ¡­ well, I can¡¯t just sit around all day. I need something to do. I could clean and doundry. Go buy the groceries, if you have a list I could use,¡± she finished with a hopeful gleam in her eyes. ¡°Wilma might be upset if you take her job,¡± I told her. The instant disappointment in her expression was hard to miss. Why the hell did she want to clean up after us? Did she have any idea about the mess this bunch had made yesterday in the game room alone? She¡¯d not had to clean up after we had a race-watching party or a fight night. There was also the issue that I couldn¡¯t stomach watching her fucking clean. Not after what she¡¯d grown up with. How she had been treated. That wasn¡¯t happening to her again. Ever. ¡°Oh, I hadn¡¯t seen anyone, so I didn¡¯t realize,¡± she said softly. ¡°Well, could I perhaps look for a job? I would need transportation, and I know that can be a hassle, but if there is a bus system, I could use it.¡± Was she serious right now? Did she honestly believe I¡¯d let her get on a bus and work a job? She was carrying Crosby¡¯s baby. She didn¡¯t need to do shit that could hurt my nephew. ¡°Your job is to keep my brother¡¯s son safe. Do whatever you can to make sure this pregnancy is healthy and he is thriving. That¡¯s your only job,¡± I told her, then took my coffee and got the hell out of that damn kitchen. Those eyes of hers were a weapon. The damn sky on a clear day couldn¡¯t evenpete. Tore Up: Chapter 20 ¡°Why does it smell like oatmeal?¡± I asked Than as we walked past wooden barrels. ¡°That¡¯s the mash,¡± he told me. ¡°Corn, malted barley, and rye.¡±Content protected by N?v/el(D)rama.Org. I pointed to therge building to our left. ¡°What¡¯s in there?¡± ¡°That¡¯s the distillery. Not sure the fumes are good for you. We are going this way,¡± he told me, waving a hand toward a log cabin to the right. ¡°The offices.¡± My eyes were everywhere. I was amazed at all the different things going on around me. ¡°Are those barrels full of whiskey?¡± ¡°Not yet. They¡¯ll be taken inside and prepared. Their interior has to be toasted, so to speak, among other things. Once they have whiskey in them, they are kept inside.¡± We started up the steps to the cabin he called the offices. ¡°For how long?¡± ¡°Depends on the batch. Our minimum is eight years, but we have a fifteen-year one that costs more.¡± I was fascinated. I¡¯d never thought about how whiskey was made. When Bane had left the kitchen this morning, I¡¯d been deted. My hopes for a better day were snuffed out as he stalked out of the room. He hadn¡¯t even mentioned showing me how to watch the ultrasound on therge screen. I¡¯d been left there, feeling my day already spiraling downhill. Than, however, stepped in and said he needed someone at his family¡¯s distillery to answer calls and go through the mail. Ransom gave him a hard look, and I worried that his brother didn¡¯t agree. But my desire to get out of the house and have something to do had overridden that. ¡°Wee to Carver¡¯s Bootleg Whiskey,¡± he said with a grin. ¡°Bootleg?¡± I asked, looking up at him. ¡°My grandfather wanted to give a nod to how it¡¯d all started. My great-grandfather was a bootlegger back in the ¡¯20s, as well as an illegal gambler. It¡¯s how he got involved with the family.¡± ¡°Than!¡± a man called out. ¡°Yeah. Be there in a minute,¡± he replied, then turned back to me. ¡°I¡¯mte for a marketing meeting. New firm we hired.¡± I followed him behind a desk that had a U-shaped counter around it. There was a stool on this side of the counter, along with aputer screen and a phone. The desk that sat in the center had argerputer, another phone, a lot of files stacked up, and a basket full of mail. ¡°Until I¡¯m done in there, just worry about the phone. When it rings, you answer it like this. Check the line that is lit up, in case you have to transfer it. Right now, we are all unavable, so whoever they ask for, take a message.¡± He slid a book over to me. ¡°Message book. Write it down here.¡± I nodded, feeling slightly anxious that I was going to do something wrong. ¡°Oh, and when you answer, say, Carver¡¯s Bootleg Whiskey. This is Halo. How may I help you?¡± Okay, I could do that. Easy enough. ¡°Got it.¡± He rapped his knuckles on the desk, then motioned toward the back. ¡°If I don¡¯t get in there, Ransom will get pissy.¡± ¡°I¡¯m good,¡± I assured him. He seemed hesitant, but walked away, leaving me with my task to answer the phone. I pulled out the stool and took a seat, then stared out the front windows. Two men came out and took a wooden barrel from the stack. A shiny red BMW convertible pulled up outside, and I leaned over to see a woman with long, wavy crimson hair step out in a short formfitting white dress. When she started up the stairs, I straightened, ready to greet her. I hadn¡¯t expected anyone toe inside. I assumed I was to help them, too, although Than hadn¡¯t mentioned it. She pulled off her sunsses as she opened the door and walked inside. Her eyes locked on me immediately. The re in them wasn¡¯t friendly. ¡°Who are you?¡± she asked snidely, as if my presence offended her. ¡°Halo,¡± I replied, smiling at her anyway. ¡°Can I help you?¡± Her gaze scanned the area, then swung back to me. ¡°Where is Ransom?¡± she asked, cing a hand on her hip. ¡°He¡¯s in a meeting. They just started, but I can leave him a message for you,¡± I replied. ¡°You can tell him that Alora is here right now,¡± she snapped at me. Than hadn¡¯t said I could interrupt them. But then this woman wanted Ransom and seemed to think he¡¯d want to see her. I didn¡¯t want to upset Ransom and have him send me back to the house. ¡°Are you going to sit there, or do I need to go find him myself?¡± she asked. I chewed on my bottom lip, wondering if that might be the best idea. If she went to interrupt, then it wouldn¡¯t be me who got in trouble. ¡°I, uh ¡­¡± Dang it, what did I say to her? If she red at me any harder, her falseshes were going to pop off. The front door opened again. I looked past her to see a guy I didn¡¯t recognizee inside. His te-gray eyes shifted from me to Alora. She turned, and the death stare I had been getting from her was immediately reced by a sultry smile. ¡°Oz.¡± She purred his name. My eyes swung back to him. This was Bane¡¯s best friend. One of the guys in the house I had yet to meet. His short ck hair was nothing like Forge¡¯s. Unlike Ransom and Than, I would never have guessed they were brothers. ¡°Alora,¡± he replied in a deep drawl. ¡°A little early for you to be out.¡± A tinklingugh and a bat of hershes made me want to roll my eyes. Who did this woman want¡ªRansom or Oz? His gaze moved back to me. With one quick appraisal, he gave me a tight smile. ¡°Halo?¡± I nodded. Something between a sigh and a chuckle came from him. He shook his head. ¡°Of course.¡± The woman turned back to me. ¡°You know the new help?¡± The annoyance in her tone was thick. ¡°Eh, that¡¯s not the new help,¡± he replied. ¡°Pull in your ws unless you want to piss off Bane.¡± Her eyes, although brown, seemed to light up like a fire at his name. As if she might climb over this counter and tackle me to the ground. She really needed to decide which one of the guys she wanted. ¡°She¡¯s a little young for Bane,¡± she replied. Oz walked around the counter. ¡°I¡¯ll be sure to tell him you have an opinion on his sex life,¡± he replied in a bored tone, then picked up the stack of mail. This time, herugh wasn¡¯t so flirty. ¡°That¡¯s not what I meant,¡± she replied. ¡°Mmhmm,¡± was his only response while he flipped through the envelopes until he found what he¡¯d been looking for. He lifted his eyes to me then. ¡°Are they in a meeting?¡± he asked. I nodded. ¡°Yes. Marketing, Than said.¡± He picked up a pad of sticky notes and a pen. ¡°You heard that, Alora. He is in a meeting.¡± She red at me before softening her gaze as she looked back at Oz, who was writing something down. ¡°Fine. I¡¯ll call him then,¡± she replied. ¡°You do that,¡± was his response, and then he handed me the note. ¡°Give this to Than when he¡¯s out.¡± I took it. ¡°All right.¡± The door closed behind Alora, and he gave me a skeptical look. ¡°You sure this is a good idea? I know Bane isn¡¯t aware you¡¯re here.¡± I held the paper tightly between my thumb and forefinger. ¡°I¡¯m not trying to cause problems. I just wanted something to do. A job.¡± He licked his bottom lip, and there was a sh of metal that surprised me. Was his tongue pierced? ¡°All right, well, that¡¯s your call,¡± he informed me. Then, the corner of his mouth quirked up just a touch. ¡°And it¡¯s nice to meet you, roomie.¡± While the other guys I¡¯d met in the family were all attractive, this one had movie-star good looks. ¡°It¡¯s nice to meet you too,¡± I told him. Without another word, he headed back to the door and left. I looked down at the note in my hand. ¡°Need two Liquid Hales.¡± I ced the paper on the counter beside the messages. There was a strange flutter in my stomach, and I looked down to study it. What was that?
There were no more females that dropped by, but I did take eleven messages by the time they got out of their meeting. Ransom stopped by the counter, and I handed him his messages. ¡°Alora came to see you,¡± I told him. He nced up at me with an irritated expression. Uh-oh. Maybe I was supposed to go get him after all. ¡°I, uh, told her you were in a meeting, and then Oz came in and exined that you were busy and she needed to leave a message.¡± I stopped before I continued and it turned into rambling. ¡°Tag, you¡¯re it.¡± Than smirked at him, picking up the two messages that had been left for him. ¡°Shut up,¡± Ransom snapped, then gave me a nod. ¡°Thanks,¡± he told me before turning to leave. ¡°You look worried,¡± Than said to me. ¡°I wasn¡¯t sure how to handle the Alora thing. I hope I didn¡¯t make him mad.¡± Than shook his head, reaching over to get the stack of mail. ¡°That scowl was about her, not you. He made the mistake of fucking her a couple of times, and now, she¡¯s thinking they have something going on. Before him, it was Gathe.¡± He held up the stack. ¡°Let¡¯s start with this. They need to be separated into different categories, then put into the correct mailboxes on the wall over there.¡± I walked over for my lesson. He studied me for a minute. ¡°Other than Alora, how was it?¡± ¡°Easy,¡± I admitted. ¡°Good. Let¡¯s add a little more work so you don¡¯t get bored,¡± he teased. I listened carefully to his next set of instructions. Tore Up: Chapter 21 ¡°Adalee, what time is Brighton Farms supposed to be here?¡± I asked, pausing at the door to the stables office. I¡¯d thought it was at noon, but it was already past one now. Brighton Farms had purchased War Pilot, a yearling that had been sired by dimir. Right now, we couldn¡¯t be sure just how fast Pilot was or if he would be like his father. In dimir¡¯s maiden race, he hade in third, then gone on to win the next seven races he was in, including the Kentucky Derby. He was retired now, living his best life in the stables. ¡°At noon tomorrow,¡± she replied, looking from herputer screen back to me. ¡°Fuck. When the hell did they reschedule?¡± I asked, frustrated. I had other shit to do today, but Dad had needed me to be here when they arrived. ¡°Last week. I told your dad.¡± She sounded apologetic. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I should have told you.¡± ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± I replied. ¡°I¡¯m gone for the day.¡± She stood up quickly. ¡°Wait,¡± she called out. And I knew from the tone of her voice what this was going to be about. With a resigned sigh, I paused and waited for it. She tucked some of her ck hair behind her ear, and her eyes, heavily lined to give a cat-shaped appearance, flickered with expectancy. Shit. Here we go. ¡°It¡¯s my lunch break. I brought a Mexican casserole I¡¯d madest night. There¡¯s plenty for two.¡± Adalee was attractive. She was excellent at her job. She was thirty-three, well educated, and recently divorced. When her divorce had been finalized two weeks ago, I¡¯d been day drinking. She flirted more than usual that day. Thinking with more than a buzz, I walked into her office, closed the door, told her to get on her knees, and suck me off. It was the first new divorc¨¦e I¡¯d had on my dick, and maybe they weren¡¯t all like her, but Adalee sucked me like she was starving for it. When she offered the next day, being a guy, I shoved her down to her knees and fed her some more. It was the third day when her neckline had gotten so low that her tits looked like they might fall out. She had some thickness to her waist that showed with the tight shirt she¡¯d chosen to showcase her tits. Honestly, it wasn¡¯t that I was against the thicker waist and roll she had showing with her high-waisted jeans. It was the thirsty thing that just wasn¡¯t for me. And this woman was real damn thirsty. Too needy. I¡¯d shut it down and acted like I didn¡¯t pick up on her advances. I¡¯d hoped she would let it go, but it seemed she was ready to push harder. ¡°Thanks for the offer, but I have some things I need to get done at the house,¡± I exined. Which was checking on Halo. I¡¯d found myself feeling guilty about what I had said to her this morning. She wanted to help. The memory of what Ares had said about her being forced to clean,bined with her mentioning getting a job, had made me snap. Exining to her she wasn¡¯t safe, working some waitressing job or whatever she¡¯d been nning on, would have been a better way to tell her no. ¡°Oh ¡­ well, I mean, it won¡¯t take long. And you seemed tense all morning. I could help with that,¡± she told me, then licked her red-painted lips. I¡¯d told her I was going to face-fuck that red lipstick off her the first time she sucked me. She¡¯d been wearing it daily since. Fucking hell. I didn¡¯t want to hurt her feelings. Her husband had left her for another woman, and I knew her self-esteem had taken a hit. If sucking my dick helped her, then why not? It was a mouth on my cock. I tilted the front of my cowboy hat back on my head, then stepped inside the office and closed the door. The gleam of excitement in her eyes should make me feel like a piece of shit for doing this. She was reading something into it that wasn¡¯t ever going to happen. ¡°Adalee, this is about me fucking your mouth and shooting my load down your throat. You understand that, right? Nothing more. I¡¯m not looking for a rtionship¡ªI don¡¯t do those¡ªand I do not make promises to women.¡± Her smile remained a little too worshipful for my taste as she nodded. ¡°Of course. I know that,¡± she said, unbuttoning three more buttons on her top until her cleavage was bare. She did have nice, big, massive tits, but I¡¯d sucked on a lot of tits. ¡°All right then,¡± I replied, then ced my hand on her shoulder and pushed her down. ¡°You want my cock? Then, take it.¡± She batted hershes up at me as she licked up one side and then the other. I didn¡¯t really have time for all this forey shit. I grabbed the back of her head and thrust my cock down her throat. ¡°That¡¯s what I want, Adalee,¡± I told her forcefully. ¡°This.¡± I sank inside her again. Her eyes watered as she choked. Maybe this would be enough to make her see that lunch with casseroles wasn¡¯t in the cards for us. She grabbed my thighs to keep me from gagging her so hard the next time, and I wanted tough. Like that was going to hold me back. ¡°You surprise me,¡± I told her. ¡°I didn¡¯t know you were such a little cumslut.¡± She moaned. Guessed she liked being called names. ¡°Hollow out those cheeks,¡± I told her, pping the side of her face. ¡°Suck it like you want my load. Like you can¡¯t wait for it.¡± She had to be the most obedient bitch I¡¯d face-fucked. Some older guy who wanted to settle down would be thrilled to have her. I could look at it as I was just training her for the future. She needed to stay away from younger guys. We weren¡¯t looking for anything more than a new, hot fuck. ¡°That¡¯s it,¡± I encouraged her, closing my eyes and enjoying her zealous need to make me happy. ¡°Cup my balls,¡± I told her, fisting my hand in her hair. ¡°Fuck yeah. Fuuuuck yeah.¡± I was getting close. It wasn¡¯t ck hair that I held in my hand. It was a dark bronze with subtle highlights. A scattering of freckles over a perfect, upturned nose and eyes that looked like the Caribbean Sea as the sun danced off it. Oh fuck. That face. I shouldn¡¯t be thinking about that face. ¡°GAH, DAMMIT!¡± I roared and held her head as I filled her throat. I was a twisted, fucked-up bastard. Guilt and shame slowly settled over me as I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. What kind of monster imagined his dead brother¡¯s baby momma while he got off? Jesus, where had thate from? What was wrong with me? I heard Adalee smacking her lips, like I¡¯d just given her a piece of chocte cake with extra frosting. We both knew my cum didn¡¯t taste like a damn treat. It was semen, for God¡¯s sake. I forced a smile, trying to hide the disgust I felt for myself as I looked down at her and began pulling my pants up. I shouldn¡¯t have done that. Sure, it had felt great, but it had been wrong in so many different ways. She licked her lips like a paid actress, and I wondered if she¡¯d been watching porn. ¡°Thanks,¡± I told her as she stood up. ¡°Sure you don¡¯t want some of my casserole?¡± she asked in a voice I was sure she meant to be tempting. It was failing to hit the mark.Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org. ¡°Sorry, can¡¯t,¡± I replied and reached for the door, opening it as I zipped my jeans. I needed to get out of here and go take a shower. Not that Adalee was gross, but because I was. Looking up from buttoning my jeans, my eyes collided with Than¡¯s. He had an amused grin on his face, and I started to tell him to fuck off when I realized he wasn¡¯t alone. Slowly, already knowing who it was, I shifted my gaze to Halo. The wide-eyed expression on her face answered the question of how much they had heard. Fan-fucking-tastic. ¡°Hey, Adalee,¡± Than called out, looking past me into the office. ¡°Hello, Than,¡± she replied, sounding almost pleased at the fact that we¡¯d been overheard. My jaw felt like granite as I red at him. ¡°What are you doing here?¡± Than nodded his head in the direction of the office. ¡°Definitely not what you¡¯re doing here.¡± ¡°Shut up,¡± I hissed, mming the office door behind me. Than held up both his hands. ¡°Calm down. I thought I¡¯d bring Halo to see the horses before we went to get some lunch.¡± The thought of her hearing me get off was not helping the shit that had gone through my head when I filled Adalee¡¯s throat. Fuck! What was wrong with me? It had to be that I¡¯d not been fucking regrly. Since Crosby¡¯s death, we¡¯d not had women over to the house. There was no taking different women in the same night. I wasn¡¯t in a headspace for it. Clearly, that had caught up with me. Hell, I had let our office manager, who was eight years older than me, suck me off. That should have been a sign right there that I needed to getid. ¡°Fine. Don¡¯t let her on the back of a horse though,¡± I barked before stalking away. Needing to get away from the guilt that burned in my gut when I looked at her. Why was her face the one I had seen? It infuriated me. She was the reason my brother was dead, and she was pregnant with my nephew. Sex depravation had turned me into a sicko. Tore Up: Chapter 22 I had done my best to listen to Than as he introduced me to the horses. It had been slightly difficult with Bane¡¯s thick, raspy voice in my head, telling the woman in the office what to do to his cock, then the way he¡¯d sounded when he finally came. I¡¯d found myself breathing harder, standing there, listening to them, while Than grinned like it was funny. When Bane walked out, buttoning his jeans, my throat went dry. His piercing stare when he looked at me had not helped. ¡°Bane¡¯s truck is here,¡± Than said as he cut the engine to his Range Rover once we were parked in the garage. ¡°If he is in a foul mood, just ignore it. He probably didn¡¯t want any of us knowing he was giving it to Adalee,¡± he told me. ¡°But if I can¡¯t help myself and I break out and sing ¡®Older Women Make Good Lovers,¡¯ you might want to duck and run.¡± I tried to decide if he was joking or not. Opening the door, I got out of the vehicle, then walked around the back of it. Than was reaching in the back to grab tworge mason jars with a clear liquid inside that Ransom had dropped off in the office and told him to bring back here. He closed the door of the car, then turned to me. ¡°Braves y the Marlins tonight,¡± he exined. I followed him to the door and opened it since he had his hands full. ¡°Do you like baseball?¡± he asked me. ncing up at him, I cocked my head to the side. ¡°What do you think?¡± A witty smile curled his lips. ¡°It puts you to sleep.¡± I shrugged. ¡°I don¡¯t know. Never watched it.¡± ¡°Ah! There is hope. You might love it,¡± he announced as he walked inside. ¡°Remember, duck and run,¡± he added. We walked until we got to the game room, and he set the bottles down. ¡°These need to be hidden from the crowd tonight. Only a few get some of this.¡± He motioned me on. ¡°Let¡¯s go eat.¡± When we reached the great room, Bane was sitting on the sofa with a sandwich in his hand, watching the television. He lifted his eyes to briefly nce at us, then went back to what he had been doing. ¡°We¡¯re gonna need to take her to the next big race so she can understand the reason why we have ¡­¡± He nced back at me. ¡°What was it you called it? Five-star hotel rooms for stables?¡± ¡°I said luxury, but same thing,¡± I replied, not wanting to look in Bane¡¯s direction. My cheeks felt hot because the sound of him getting off was now reying in my head again. ¡°Might want to wait until Saylor has had time to adjust,¡± Bane replied stonily. I tensed. ¡°I brought some Liquid Hale. It¡¯s in the game room. Go have a shot or three,¡± he told Bane, then touched my arm and nodded his head for us to go. Once we were in the kitchen, I asked, ¡°Is Liquid Hale some other alcohol y¡¯all make?¡± It was clear, and I knew whiskey wasn¡¯t. There was a devilish twinkle in his eyes when he looked at me. ¡°Awbrey Carver¡¯s moonshine recipe. He was my great-grandfather. My grandfather perfected it in the ¡¯70s, and it was then called Liquid Hale since my grandfather¡¯s name is Hale. We have a license to make whiskey, but there are guidelines you must follow. Liquid Hale doesn¡¯t follow all those guidelines. The fact that it¡¯s eighty proof is also frowned upon. So, it¡¯s still made, but we don¡¯t sell it. At least not to the general public. It¡¯s our way to keep the bootlegging in the Carver family,¡± he exined. ¡°It wouldn¡¯t be the Carver way to bepletely legal.¡± ¡°So, moonshine isn¡¯t whiskey, or is it just illegal whiskey?¡± I asked, finding the distraction from Bane a relief. Than leaned against the counter. ¡°You saw those two bottles I brought in? They were clear.¡± I nodded. ¡°Remember those oak barrels today that I told you we aged the whiskey in?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Moonshine isn¡¯t whiskey because it¡¯s not aged in the oak barrels. It doesn¡¯t take on the caramel color or voring. It also doesn¡¯t take years and years to make a good bottle. It¡¯s called moonshine because it was liquor that was made by the light of the moon so that the bootleggers, like my great-grandfather, didn¡¯t get caught. It¡¯s a clear high-proof liquor. The aging process of whiskey smooths the taste and takes the bite off. Moonshine burns like a bitch, but it¡¯s a real good scorch.¡± ¡°Why are you giving a pregnant woman a lesson on moonshine?¡± Forge asked as he entered the kitchen. ¡°She asked,¡± Than replied, then turned back to me. ¡°Looks like Wilma made sandwiches for lunch and homemade chips because she loves me. Do you want turkey, ham, or roast beef?¡± I walked over to the counter to look at the selections. Forge picked up the first two options and then scooped chips onto his te. I didn¡¯t want to eat the chips. They had been fried in oil, and that wasn¡¯t healthy for the baby. I couldn¡¯t eat the cold cuts either. I¡¯d read that there was a risk of listeria infection. ¡°Halo has a meal in the fridge. Wilma put her name on it,¡± Bane said, walking into the room. ¡°She can¡¯t eat this?¡± Than asked. I nced from Bane to Than. ¡°Sandwich meats carry a risk of listeria infection. It¡¯s not safe to eat when pregnant.¡± Than raised his eyebrows. ¡°Didn¡¯t know that.¡± ¡°You knew that?¡± Bane asked me pointedly. His surprised look made me prickly. ¡°Yes, I did. I have a book my doctor gave me.¡± The approval in his expression had me jerking my eyes off the man and walking to the fridge. I didn¡¯t need his approval, thank you very much. While he thought I should sit around in this house, being nothing but an incubator for his nephew, I was more than that. I was his mother, and I would do everything I could to make sure he was healthy. Opening the impressive appliance, I was once again overwhelmed by all the stuff in it. There was even more than there had been this morning. I scanned the shelves, trying to find what it was that I was supposed to eat. I stiffened as a warm body came up close enough behind me that chill bumps broke out on my arms. I held my breath as a thick, corded arm with colorful art tattooed on it reached over me and took a container out. When I finally inhaled the scent that I identified as Bane¡¯s, it made me want to suck in more air. ¡°This is yours.¡± His voice held a brooding lilt to it. ¡°Th-thanks,¡± I stammered as he moved back, and I turned to take my lunch from him. He didn¡¯t respond. Instead, he left me standing there with the fridge open, staring at his retreating form as he took long, purposeful strides out of the kitchen. Reaching for the door, I closed it before going back to the bar. Than was watching me with a quizzical expression. I forced a tight smile and dropped my eyes to the container Bane had given me. ¡°Okay, what the fuck was that?¡± Forge asked, swinging his focus from the door back to me. Than cleared his throat. ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± Neither did I, but my heart was racing wildly in my chest. I sat down and took the top from the te. Arge yellow squash had been cut into two pieces, then stuffed with ck beans, a ground meat of some kind, chopped colorful veggies, with mozzare cheese melted on the top. Beside it were sliced strawberries, drizzled with some white cream. It looked delicious and smelled wonderful. ¡°Damn, why can¡¯t I get that for lunch?¡± Forge asked, peering over at my te. ¡°Fuck this sandwich shit.¡± Than leaned closer to see what I had been given. ¡°Okay, yeah, I¡¯m jealous,¡± he agreed. I gave them both a smug smile before picking up my fork to take a bite.
The swimsuits that Grissele had bought for me felt as if they needed more fabric until I walked down to see the other females out at the pool. The floor-to-ceiling windows in the great room were gone. They had been rolled up like a garage door. I hadn¡¯t realized they did that. The entire wall where the windows had been was now one big, open area. The great room connected seamlessly onto the patio. Although it wasn¡¯t truly dark yet, there were open mes from torches surrounding the area outside. Music from outside floated in through speakers, but not too loudly. Therge screen in the great room had a pregame show on ESPN that a few guys were watching. Ransom was sitting on the U-shaped sofa with a beer in his hand, and on the other side was Forge, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, listening to whatever they were saying on the screen. The two other men I didn¡¯t recognize. One nced up at me and nodded before looking back at the screen. ¡°Than is outside. He was waiting on you, but he needed a smoke,¡± Forge said, barely looking from the screen to me. I hadn¡¯t known Than smoked. I¡¯d never seen him smoke. ¡°Okay,¡± I replied and walked slowly out of the great room and onto the patio. The barely there bikini tops I¡¯d seen from inside were only on a few females. The others, I realized, were topless. I¡¯d worn a sundress over mine, for fear it was too revealing. Laughter came from the pool, and I scanned the crowd, thinking I might just need to go back upstairs. ¡°There you are.¡± Than¡¯s friendly tone was a massive relief. Turning, I saw him walking up from the left side of the house. The orange glow of the cigarette in his mouth surprised me. He took a long pull from it, then walked over and put it out in an ashtray. ¡°I was thinking I might have toe get you.¡± I looked from the ashtray back to Than. ¡°You smoke?¡± He looked sheepish as he shrugged. ¡°Takes the edge off.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve never seen you smoke,¡± I said. His gaze dropped to my stomach. ¡°We all smoke something, little momma. But in the house, Bane banned it the day you moved in. Everyone gets why.¡± Something else about Bane I hadn¡¯t known. He smelled like smoke, but it was more of an oak scent. Not nicotine. ¡°Bane smokes too?¡± He nodded. ¡°Yep, but his high-maintenance ass smokes cigars. He¡¯s never been one to enjoy a Camel.¡± Oh, that exined the smell. I hadn¡¯t pictured Bane smoking a cigar. ¡°You want something to drink? Shirley Temple?¡± he asked with a teasing grin. Iughed. ¡°That actually sounds good.¡± ¡°Then, let¡¯s get you one,¡± he told me, then touched the middle of my back as he led me down the steps on the patio until we were on the split brick path that led to the pool area. ¡°We hire a bartender for nights like tonight.¡± My gaze slowly made its way over the people. I recognized Oz, who was sitting on a chair with a drink in his hand, talking to a guy I didn¡¯t know. A topless female, with blonde hair in one long braid lying over her left shoulder, walked over to him, and he moved his drink as she sat down on his right leg. Quickly, I shifted my eyes elsewhere. An older man with dark blond hair, which was long enough that he had it pulled back in a messy almost-bun sh ponytail, tanned skin, a short beard, and more tattoos on his arms than Bane was watching me. He said something, but his eyes stayed locked on me. Feeling self-conscious, I flicked my gaze to see who was beside him. It was a younger guy with blond hair, cut in a surfer-boy style that looked unbrushed yet fell perfectly into ce, all at the same time. He met my gaze, then looked at Than before turning his attention back to the man beside him. ¡°That¡¯s Luther Levine. He¡¯s Linc¡¯s second.¡± He paused. ¡°I guess the best way to describe his duties is, he¡¯s the head enforcer. If it¡¯s a dangerous job, then it¡¯s Luther and Bane who go in first. The rest are just backup.¡± He had to be talking about the older guy. I didn¡¯t think they¡¯d send the surfer boy into a dangerous situation. Bane¡ªI could understand thatpletely. ¡°And the one beside him¡ªwho keeps looking this way and trying not to be curious, although he so fucking is¡ªis Gathe Bowen. Crosby, Gathe, me, and, uh ¡­¡± He paused. I nced up at him, curious as to what he was going to say before he changed his mind. The smile he gave me looked like he was apologetic or pained. I couldn¡¯t tell which. ¡°And Saylor,¡± he added. ¡°We are all around the same age. Growing up in this life together, we were close.¡± Were. Past tense. As in not anymore. Did that mean because Crosby was dead or because of me? Than stopped at the bar that was lit up with neon lights. I listened to him order as I looked around the rest of the pool. The moment my eyes found Bane, I tensed. He was grinning. As in he had an actual smile on his face as he looked at the blonde on his left while the brte on his right pressed her naked breasts against his arm and kissed his shoulder. Two. He had two girls. ¡°Here you go,¡± Than said, and I turned my focus back to him as he held out my drink to me. ¡°I had him add extra cherries. If you don¡¯t like them, I do.¡± I gave him a tight smile, which was difficult. ¡°Thanks,¡± I replied with the image of Bane and two topless women draped on either side of him burned into my brain. It wasn¡¯t that I cared. I was just surprised. That was all. He¡¯d been with the office manager at the stables, and now, these two. He sure got around. Okay, fine. For some odd reason, it bothered me. My chest felt funny and tight. It was just because I was being reminded that Crosby had lived this life too. That, while I thought he loved me, he was living in this world. He probably had topless women pressed against his arms ¡­ No, wait. He¡¯d had a fianc¨¦e. Saylor would have been here. ¡°Not to your liking? Too much grenadine?¡± Than asked me. I lifted my eyes from my drink to his concerned expression. I hadn¡¯t even tasted it. ¡°No, it¡¯s fine.¡± Or I was sure it would be. I¡¯d not actually had a Shirley Temple before. Carina used to talk about them after Nick took her out to get a burger and fries at his favorite diner in Jackson. She always ordered Shirley Temples, and she¡¯d loved to tell me all about them. ¡°You sure? You were looking at it like it¡¯d offended you.¡± I shook my head. ¡°No. Thank you. I¡¯ve always wanted to try one of these.¡± His brows drew together. ¡°You¡¯ve never had one?¡± ¡°Nope,¡± I said, then ced the straw to my lips and tasted it. The sweet, bubbly drink was refreshing. When I smiled at him this time, it wasn¡¯t one I struggled to do. ¡°Delicious.¡± He started to say something when a shadow fell over us. I nced up to see the older man, who I assumed was Luther Levine. Up close, he was even handsomer. He was well past thirty, but I wasn¡¯t sure by how much. His eyes said he was older than his looks seemed to portray. I had no doubt any one of the gorgeous women decorating this pool area woulde running if he snapped his fingers.N?velDrama.Org: text ? owner. ¡°Halo,¡± he said with less of a Southern drawl than the other guys here had. ¡°I¡¯m Luther. I¡¯ve heard a lot about you from Linc.¡± I licked my lips nervously. ¡°It¡¯s nice to meet you.¡± I hoped that response hadn¡¯t sounded as awkward as it felt. Unlike Linc, he didn¡¯t have the demeanor that eased you. He had an edge in his gaze. One that made you uncertain of what he was thinking or his purpose. ¡°Than,¡± he said, shifting his intense focus to him, ¡°I see you¡¯re helping her adjust to things around here.¡± Than shed me an amused grin. ¡°Yeah, doing my best.¡± ¡°Bane is behaving,¡± Luther said sardonically. Than chuckled. ¡°Bane is being Bane.¡± ¡°d to see he is finding himself again and not buried in his grief. I thought we might have lost him for a while.¡± Luther turned his hazel gaze back to me. ¡°Seems you not only pulled Grissele out of her darkness, but Bane too. Linc was right. Your impact on the Cash family overrides the way it affects the Rices. And when Saylor stops her nonsense, her parents will be fine too.¡± Unsure of what to say to that, I took a drink from my ss. I did feel bad for Saylor, but I hadn¡¯t done anything to her on purpose. If I¡¯d known about her, then I wouldn¡¯t be pregnant. I would never have let Crosby take me home that first time. Yet I felt like they all still saw me as the reason she was hurting. Me and my baby. Than cleared his throat. ¡°Probably time I move Halo inside. She¡¯s not ready for this just yet. I thought I¡¯d ease her in slowly,¡± he said, giving Luther a pointed look. ncing from him to Luther, who was scanning the area around us, I, too, turned to see what he was referring to. The wind seemed to be sucked right out of me when I saw the blonde that Bane had been talking to naked and straddling him while ¡­ while bouncing on his ¡­ I immediately dropped my eyes to my ss. They were having sex right there, in front of everyone. ¡°Probably wise,¡± Luther replied. Than put his hand back on the middle of my back. ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± he said. I stared at my drink as if it were the most fascinating Shirley Temple that had ever been made. ¡°It can get a little rowdy out here. We¡¯re guys with naked tits, tiny bottoms, willing females. I should have warned you, but I figured it would wait until after the game. But then this can break out at any time.¡± Than exined this as if it madeplete sense. I had watched Bane put a bullet in two men¡¯s heads. He¡¯d sent one flying inches from mine. Why wouldn¡¯t he fornicate in public? I didn¡¯t think he had morals. But then ¡­ who was I to judge? I¡¯d believed my brother¡ªno, wait, not my brother. He wasn¡¯t my brother. I had believed Ares was good down deep even though he had been making bad decisions and his temper could get scary. I seemed to be a very bad judge of character. ncing up at Than, I asked, ¡°Do you do that? Have sex like that out there?¡± He cut his eyes at me, and I could see the strained expression on his face. ¡°Like I said, we¡¯re guys.¡± He did. He might even do itter tonight. It wasn¡¯t my business. Besides I was the one pregnant at neen. Their friend and brother was dead because of me. If anything, they had every reason to judge me. But Than never had. That line I¡¯d drawn in my head between right and wrong, the ck and white I had always seemed to view life in, was changing. There was no line. We couldn¡¯t see people¡¯s souls by their actions. We should ept that there was a gray area and that we all lived inside it more often than not. Just because your gray choices were different from someone else¡¯s didn¡¯t make yours better. The distance from ck or white was irrelevant. If it was gray, then it was gray. Tore Up: Part 2 – Chapter 23 Part 2 ¡°Indeed, indeed, I cannot tell, Though I ponder on it well, Which were easier to state, All my love or all my hate.¡± ¨C Henry David Thoreau
There had been no screaming, yet here I was. After my shower, I¡¯din in bed and stared at the ceiling for almost an hour, waiting for her to cry out. Telling myself I wasn¡¯t sleeping because I didn¡¯t want to be woken up by her nightmare was a lie. I had no reason for being here in this room and especially in this bed. No logical excuse that made what was happening in my head okay. It wasn¡¯t. No amount of fucking both Milena and Bronwen tonight had eased it either. I had been so sure that all I needed was to fuck. Hell, when Milena riding my dick out on the lounger didn¡¯t work, I took them both in the game room, lying on the pool table with one on my cock and the other on my mouth while they faced one another, kissing and ying with each other¡¯s tits. It was hot, and I went through two condoms, letting them switch spots, but it hadn¡¯t gotten Halo out of my head. I¡¯d known the moment she left the great room to go upstairs. Every time she looked over at me, I felt it, although I didn¡¯t make eye contact. Struggling to focus on the damn game was hard. When someone talked to her, that was all I could hear. Making sure no one had said anything that upset her. Giving in anding up to her room had been the only way I was going to ease the war going on inside my head. This was something I needed to get control of. If she wasn¡¯t screaming, I shouldn¡¯t being in here. A small sigh escaped her, and the mint from her toothpaste drifted up to my nose. I¡¯d been enjoying the smell of her hair. It reminded me of strawberries. My arm tightened around her involuntarily. It had a mind of its own now, it seemed. I ran my fingertips down her back, stopping just before they met her ass. The top of her silky pajamas had ridden up, and her soft skin was warm and tempting. Perfect. I¡¯d been so fucking angry with Crosby for this. For her. Being so careless as to fuck some girl and knock her up. But when I was in bed with her like this¡ªher scent surrounding me, her wless skin in the moonlight, and the way her body felt, pressed against me¡ªI understood. She wasn¡¯t mine, and I had no right to do this, but I couldn¡¯t seem to stop it. If she would just do something, anything to justify my usations that she had trapped Crosby for his money, I could hate her again. I had hated her, and then ¡­ I didn¡¯t. Or maybe I hadn¡¯t ever truly hated her. Had it just been misced and my hatred was never for her? I had lived in anguish for two months, needing to know who was responsible for my little brother being in the cold, hard ground, and she was the first thing I could sink my pain and fury into. Admitting that the unwee grinding in my chest was guilt had been difficult. That wasn¡¯t an emotion I was familiar with, and now that I seemed to live with it, I could say that I wasn¡¯t a fan. A whimper came from the girl in my arms, and I pressed a kiss to her forehead. ¡°Shh,¡± I said, soothing her. ¡°I¡¯ve got you.¡± Immediately, she quieted, and her body rxed. I red at the wall as if it had made me ce my lips on her. Another line crossed. I had to stop this shit. Holding her was one thing¡ªI was making sure she got sleep. If I didn¡¯t hold her, she¡¯d have a nightmare. The screaming had to be bad for my nephew. They both needed me. The healthier and happier she was, the better it was for him. Crosby would have understood that. He¡¯d have wanted them both taken care of. As I closed my eyes, satisfied that I was doing what my brother would have wanted me to do, the heaviness on my chest eased enough that I could get some sleep.Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org. Tore Up: Chapter 24 The rest of the week fell into a routine. It gave me a false sense of security. Waking up every morning to the enticing scent of Bane on my sheets was also bing normal. The only thing that made sense was that my pregnant brain was somehow causing my subconscious to bring that smell up while I was asleep. So, when I first woke up, that was what I thought wafted in the air and on the sheets. Most mornings, Bane had already left the house when I made it to the kitchen. Than was there though, and we talked while we ate, then left to go to the distillery. I answered the phones, went through the mail, and organized the files that were on the desk into the drawers. Around one, Than would take me back to the house. We hadn¡¯t gone back to the stables. I did want to see the horses again, but I didn¡¯t want to overhear any sexual activities that Bane might be having. The past two afternoons, I had been the only one at the house, so I¡¯d taken advantage of the pool, swimming and then soaking up the warm sun. The exercise I knew was good for the baby and my body. Without my bike, I wasn¡¯t getting cardio daily, like I once had. Evenings were spent with whichever of the guys was home, eating dinner on the sofa in the great room. I normally excused myself early and went up to my room. I¡¯d almost finished reading the thick prenatal book Dr. Ste had given me. Among all my things, I only owned two other books. I had read them both already, but I was going to reread each one. It gave me something to do before going to bed. The guys were all nice to me, and no one made me feel as if I was unwanted, but I could tell they also weren¡¯t sure what to say and do around me. Coming up here after dinner made me feel like I was giving them their space back. Today was Saturday, and I already knew Than wasn¡¯t going to the distillery. He¡¯d said they would all probably be gone when I got up, but that Wilma would have breakfast waiting for me. I had decidedst night that I¡¯d take a book out to the pool. Deciding on which book was my evening activity. In the end, I¡¯d chosen to take The Notebook by Nichs Sparks. I had found the copy I owned at a thrift store for fifty cents two years ago. It had kept me up all night the first time I read it. When I walked into the kitchen, a tall woman with broad shoulders, short brown hair that stopped just below her ears, and a pair of wire-rimmed sses perched on her long, narrow nose stood behind the counter, chopping vegetables. She lifted her chin, and her dark eyes met mine. Her piercing gaze caused me to pause. ¡°Hello, Halo,¡± she said with a wry quirk of her mouth. She set her knife down, then walked over to open the oven and took out a covered te. ¡°Please have a seat. I just need to add the berries to your protein waffles. Would you prefer orange juice or milk?¡± I¡¯d already assumed this was the elusive Wilma who kept the ce spotless and prepared meals, yet was never seen. ¡°Milk, thank you, but I can get it,¡± I replied. She set the te down on the counter. ¡°I am sure you can, but there is no need with me in here. Have a seat.¡± The no-nonsense way she spoke had me doing exactly what I had been told. I looked at the stools where I normally sat at the bar, but I wasn¡¯t sure she would want me that close to where she was working. I shifted my gaze to therge, empty table that I¡¯d never seen used, then decided to take a spot where I always did. Pulling out a stool, I sat down. ¡°Have your meals been to your liking?¡± she asked me as she ced sliced strawberries around the te. ¡°Yes, they¡¯ve been wonderful. Thank you,¡± I assured her. She picked up blueberries, then began to decorate the te with those next. ¡°Very good. I¡¯ve followed the guidelines that your doctor gave to Mrs. Cash for your meals. For the less than appetizing options, I have done my best to adjust them so they are more enjoyable.¡± I hadn¡¯t known Grissele had gotten a diet n from Dr. Ste. I shouldn¡¯t be surprised though. Grissele was thorough. She sprinkled walnuts over the top, then added a tablespoon of peanut butter before taking the te and handing it to me. ¡°There is no healthy option for a syrup. It could spike your blood sugar, but I used bananas in the batter and some monk fruit to sweeten the waffle itself.¡± Having no idea what monk fruit was, I smiled brightly as I stared down at my meal. ¡°This looks amazing.¡± ¡°I wouldn¡¯t go that far, but hopefully, my adjustments make it appetizing,¡± she replied dryly. I picked up the fork and knife she¡¯d given me and began to cut off a piece. Wilma didn¡¯t make small talk as she went about finishing her task of cutting vegetables. I ate in silence, enjoying my meal, wondering if perhaps I should be the one to make conversation. I drank thest of my milk just as heavy footsteps entered the kitchen. Turning, I watched as Linc came inside the room. His gaze went to Wilma, and he nodded. ¡°Good morning, Wilma.¡± ¡°Morning, sir. Can I get you anything?¡± ¡°No thank you,¡± he replied, and his focus shifted to me. ¡°When you are finished, I¡¯d like to speak with you.¡± The food I¡¯d just enjoyed morphed into a rock, sitting in the pit of my stomach. I had managed to shut off all thoughts of the things he¡¯d told me thest time he¡¯d wanted to talk to me. Instead, I had started taking it one day at a time, focusing on my pregnancy and doing what all my prenatal book told me to do. But there was always the dark truth lurking on the outer edges. My family. Ares. What I¡¯d learned and what I hadn¡¯t because I ran from the room, unable to handle any more. I was here because Crosby was dead. Forgetting the reasons and actions that had brought me here helped me get through this week. I knew by Linc¡¯s solemn expression that he was about to bring it all back, front and center. I used the napkin in myp, then ced it on the te. ¡°I¡¯m done,¡± I told him.N?velDrama.Org: text ? owner. His eyes dropped to the counter, as if making sure I had eaten. ¡°If you¡¯lle with me,¡± he said, lifting his gaze back to my face. I nced over at Wilma, who had moved on to a bowl and was mixing things, not looking at either one of us. ¡°Thank you for my breakfast,¡± I told her. She nodded her head once, but didn¡¯t look my way or say a word. Walking toward the door where Linc waited, I began to mentally prepare myself for whatever he had to tell me. Ares was probably dead. No one here had mentioned it or even brought him up, but if they knew where he was, then Bane hadn¡¯t let him live long after that. It was a struggle for me. I wanted to cry for the brother of my childhood. The one person who cared about me. But what I¡¯d heard on that phone call made my stomach turn and caused all those memories to be something sickening. Would they tell Iris or Nick about his death? What would they do with the body? Leave it like they had with Ronnie and No, for someone to find eventually? These were things I fought against when I went to bed at night. I refused to think of them and thought about my son. What he would look like. Holding him the first time. Those were the images I went to sleep with, which I thought might be why I¡¯d stopped having the nightmares. It might be the meds, but I was sure having happy thoughts as I drifted off helped. I followed Linc out of the kitchen and down the hallway that led to the office I had been in before. Linc opened the door once we reached it and went inside. I did the same, hoping I didn¡¯t end up running to the toilet again. I had to be strong enough to hear what he had to tell me. If I acted like none of it had happened, I was just dying facing reality. One day, I would have to know. My fear that the police woulde for me over Ronnie¡¯s and No¡¯s deaths had faded once I learned who and what the family was. They were used to dealing with that kind of thing, and I no longer stayed on edge, fearing that I was going to prison. My eyes met Bane¡¯s as he stood against the wall to my right with his arms crossed over his chest. Knowing he was here gave me an instant sense of support that it probably shouldn¡¯t. My hormones were clearly confused. The cold greeting I received from him proved that my pregnancy brain was messed up. He shifted his focus back to the window as he took a drink from the ss in his hand. The fact that he was drinking whiskey before noon wasn¡¯t a good sign. Movement from the other side of the room caught my attention, and I realized Luther was also here. All I¡¯d seen was Bane. Unfortunately, more and moretely, I¡¯d seemed to be seeking him out, not thinking about it. I didn¡¯t want to do it, but I just did. I also didn¡¯t want my body reacting to seeing him, but, oh, it did. This week, it had been getting worse every day. I started to ask if I should close the door when another man walked inside. I took a step back, startled. Unable to stop staring at the man, I barely blinked as his eyes locked with mine. He was older¡ªclose to Linc¡¯s age, I would guess. His hair was darker, but there were gold highlights in it, making me think it had once been blond. The tanned skin, hard line of his mouth, and heavier facial hair than the other men weren¡¯t what was holding me there. It was his eyes. They were Crosby¡¯s eyes. ¡°Halo, this is Fender, Bane and Crosby¡¯s father,¡± Linc said. Fender Cash closed the door and moved his gaze to Linc as he walked past me. He didn¡¯t speak, and I honestly wasn¡¯t sure I could move. His son was dead. He med me. I understood that, but it didn¡¯t make it easier to breathe. All the heaviness I¡¯d managed to crawl out from under this week was back, and the weight was even worse than before. ¡°Come here, Halo.¡± Bane¡¯s tone held a faint trace of sympathy. But then when it came to Bane, I tended to make things up in my head that weren¡¯t there because I wanted them to be. I looked over at him, and he had his hand on the back of one of the leather chairs. ¡°Sit down,¡± he told me in a firmer tone this time. Each step I took felt like I was pulling chains that weighed a ton behind me. When I reached the chair, I slowly eased down onto it, knowing that the minute I was seated, things were going to be said that I didn¡¯t want to hear. It was as if a storm was spinning in my head that wouldn¡¯t slow down for me to make sense of it all. ¡°You¡¯re pale,¡± Linc said. ¡°Take a deep breath and let it out.¡± I nodded and did as I had been told. It didn¡¯t help. Likest time, he sat on the edge of the desk in front of me. Luther was leaning by the window, looking out, while Bane was now behind me. His scent might be the only thing keeping me steady. If he knew that, he¡¯d scowl at me or possibly grimace. Fender sat down in the chair to the left of me and rested one of his ankles on the opposite knee. Linc nced at him. ¡°Need a drink?¡± Fender shook his head. ¡°Not before noon. I¡¯ll leave that to Bane.¡± Linc released an amused chuckle. Luther turned to look back at us and held up the ss in his hand. ¡°Don¡¯t judge,¡± he said with a smirk. ¡°Ares is dead,¡± Linc said without any ease into it or warning. I¡¯d known that. My chest didn¡¯t constrict, nor did my eyes fill with tears. There was no sudden wave of emotion. I had already lost Ares. Whatever grief I might have felt with his death hade and gone before today. It felt as if a door had mmed on any connection I¡¯d once had with him. Severing it, along with one with Nick, Iris, and even Carina. The only sorrow I felt now was for my little brothers. I ached because I doubted I¡¯d ever see them again. I would miss them growing up. They were the only family I had left that I would grieve over. I nodded my head once to acknowledge it. Linc¡¯s gaze flicked up to Bane, who was behind me, then back to me. ¡°The recording you heard of the phone conversation, it came from Ares¡¯s cell phone. He had a program on his phone that recorded every call on your sister¡¯s phone and sent it to his phone. The moment a call went in or out of her phone, he was alerted and could listen to it.¡± He cleared his throat and reached for the iPad behind him. Oh God. I didn¡¯t want to listen to more. ¡°We¡¯ve heard every call made between you and Crosby. If he¡¯d used his cell, we would have known someone was recording his calls and tracked it down to Ares. But Crosby bought a cell phone just to call and text you. For several reasons that are easy to guess. The first being so that Saylor wouldn¡¯t see it. She knew the passcode to his cell phone, and I am sure she looked at it often. But also to keep you hidden from the family until he was ready.¡± He held the iPad in front of him, then tapped it. ¡°I took the test.¡± My voice sounded shaky and on the verge of tears as the recording yed aloud. ¡°And I told you that whatever it says, I am not going anywhere. I love you, Halo.¡± Crosby¡¯s voice hurt to hear. I pressed a fist to my chest and dropped my gaze to myp. I wished I had been able to tell him I loved him, but I hadn¡¯t wanted to lie. ¡°It¡¯s ¡­ it¡¯s positive,¡± I said just above a whisper. ¡°I just don¡¯t know how. I ¡­ we ¡­ we always used a condom.¡± He let out a sigh. I closed my eyes. I could remember all the fear and uncertainty I¡¯d felt, standing on the front porch, telling him this. The snowball effect after this call had destroyed so many people. ¡°Angel, listen, one broke a few weeks ago. The second time we were together. It was an old one, but that was all I had on me. I had known I shouldn¡¯t trust it, but I got carried away. I¡¯m sorry¡ªonly because I know you¡¯re upset and scared right now. But I¡¯m not sorry because you¡¯re pregnant.¡± He paused. ¡°Because I get to keep you forever. We will move in together. I want this. I want you.¡± His voice took on a pleased tone. As if he was actually excited about the situation. ¡°Crosby, we can¡¯t do that. I don¡¯t make enough money, and neither do you,¡± I said into the phone, talking quietly, not wanting anyone in the house to hear me. Heughed softly. ¡°Let me worry about the money. I will take care of everything. I swear it. Trust me.¡± ¡°I could get another job,¡± I told him. ¡°If this is really what you want to do, I¡¯ll start looking this next week.¡± ¡°Angel, stop. I¡¯m serious. When I said I love you, that meant I will take care of you.¡± He sounded fierce, and I had wanted to believe that so much. Although I had been sure it would take me having a second job. ¡°As sweet as that is, what you make, working at those stables, can¡¯t pay for all we are going to need. Babies are expensive, and I don¡¯t even have health insurance. The cost is not all going to be on you,¡± I replied. Another chuckle from him. ¡°All right, let¡¯s just agree to talk about thister. I¡¯ll be there tonight when you get off work. Everything is going to be fine. I just need to hold you. No talk about money tonight.¡± The sound of a door closing was in the background, and I knew it was Carinaing to get her phone. ¡°I have to go,¡± I whispered. ¡°See you tonight.¡± Then, the phone call ended. One lone tear rolled down my cheek, and I wiped it away, keeping my head down. I didn¡¯t want to look at any of them. They had heard all our conversations already. Why they¡¯d wanted to rey that one, I didn¡¯t know. It was the one that hurt the most. The reason he was dead. ¡°What do you want?¡± Carina¡¯s voice filled the room as another call yed. My other hand fisted in myp as I dropped the one at my chest to cover it tightly. ¡°What the fuck is wrong with you?¡± Ares¡¯s voice snarled. ¡°Not nearly as much as what¡¯s wrong with you,¡± she replied flippantly. ¡°She hasn¡¯t done shit to you! Slicing her fucking tire so she had to walk in the goddamn heat to work was sadistic,¡± Ares shouted. ¡°Watching her with your little spy cam while she¡¯s naked in the bathroom is disgusting, and I am pretty sure it¡¯s, like, illegal or something,¡± Carina snapped at him. ¡°Why do you care about that?! You twisted bitch. Jesus, is it not enough that Nick ignores her? Or that Mom treats her like a fucking ve while you don¡¯t do shit around the house? Goddamn, Carina, I want to strangle you sometimes.¡± She let out a twinklingugh I knew so well. ¡°It¡¯s fun to watch her try so hard. It gives me entertainment. Always so perfect, so helpful, so nice. It¡¯s pathetic and annoying. If she only knew her brother was beating his dick to her tits and ass while she was so freaking prudish around the house.¡± A hand flew to my mouth to cover the cry that I couldn¡¯t hold back. ¡°It¡¯s called modesty, you little slut,¡± he replied. ¡°Whatever,¡± she said. ¡°Is there a point to this call other than to scold me for making your favorite sister¡¯s life hard?¡± I felt dirty. Knowing he¡¯d watched me like that and what she¡¯d said he did. My skin crawled. ¡°Tell Mom to call me. She¡¯s not answering, and I need her to sign the lease on the house I found for y¡¯all in bama.¡± Carina made an excited squeal. ¡°When are we moving?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not avable until mid-August. But that gives me time to get things set up.¡± ¡°Yes, heaven forbid you don¡¯t have the incest casa ready to go for Little Miss Prudish to move into with you. Still don¡¯t know how you will talk her into that one though. She¡¯s still dating that guy. Borrowing my phone more and more to talk to him.¡± ¡°I have it under control,¡± he bit out. ¡°Tell Mom to call me.¡± The room went silent as the call ended. ¡°Please, no more,¡± I begged as my voice cracked with the horror suffocating me. Keeping my eyes closed, I focused on my breathing. In and out. In and out. In and out. ¡°As difficult as that was to hear, it was a truth you needed to know. Telling you wasn¡¯t going to be effective enough. Not when it¡¯s family that you trusted.¡± I heard himy the iPad back on the desk. At least he wasn¡¯t forcing me to listen to more. He had gotten his point across. I understood. For the sake of my baby, I couldn¡¯t have a connection to my family. Maybe, one day, when the boys were grown, it would be okay. I could know them then, but right now, I didn¡¯t trust them. Carina ¡­ I hadn¡¯t realized how she felt about me. What had I done to make her dislike me so much? Was I really that annoying? That it caused her to do things like shing my bike tire? How many things that I¡¯d thought were bad luck had actually been Carina? ¡°Ares¡¯s father was a man named Dusty Height. He died during his third stint in prison. His record shows that he couldn¡¯t keep his dick out of preteen girls. When your stepmother found out she was pregnant with Ares, she went to the man who had gotten her pregnant to find he had been arrested for molesting two little girls in his apartmentplex. She then met Nick Talley, who was looking for a mother for his infant daughter. They were married two weekster. Ares was twelve months younger than you. Not sixteen.¡± I cringed. I never wanted to hear his name again. I wished Linc would stop talking about him. ¡°Please. No more,¡± I pleaded, lifting my head to look at him. ¡°I understand. You don¡¯t have to tell me any more. My family¡±¡ªI swallowed hard¡ª¡°wasn¡¯t what I thought they were. I don¡¯t want them in my baby¡¯s life. If that is what you are trying to make me see, I got it. I can¡¯t listen to more of this.¡± Linc nodded once, then shifted his eyes to Fender. Fender stood up then and turned to look down at me. The glint in his eyes sent a shiver of unease down my spine. ¡°You gave my wife a reason to live again. She¡¯s slowlying back to me every day. And the child you¡¯re carrying did that. But understand that you are the reason my son is dead. Nothing can change that for me. It¡¯s not up to me to decide if you stay here or leave. If it wasn¡¯t for Grissele, I would have fought harder for you to be sent away. You¡¯re being handed a life you would never have had without Crosby. Don¡¯t make the fight that Bane and Linc put up to keep you here in vain. The pain that your existence and that child¡¯s existence will continue to cause not just me, but also the Rice family is a sacrifice that is being made for you. Be worth it,¡± he finished, then walked out of the room without another word. I jumped slightly as the door mmed behind him. I knew my being here wasn¡¯t weed by everyone, but hearing it had caused it to sink in hard. To understand what it was costing others. Home was a ce that others took for granted. Living under the same roof with people who loved you and wanted you there was a gift. Security and peace from knowing you had somewhere that you didn¡¯t have to fight to be worthy of¡­ there was not one day in my life I had experienced it, and I was starting to wonder if I ever would. ¡°Gannon Rice and Fender are from the two oldest families in this branch. As far as rank goes, they hold power. Fender wanted to speak to you, and that was why I allowed him in here. It was out of respect for his rank within the family since I hadn¡¯t stood behind his decision for you to be ced elsewhere and informed him that you would be staying here. Losing his son took a piece of him, and he¡¯s not seeing it clearly. I think, in time, he will.¡± He stood up. ¡°But if you choose to walk away, run, or contact your family, I won¡¯t stand behind you any longer.¡± My throat felt raw, so I only nodded. I was here because of the baby. No one really wanted me, but they wanted my son. At least he would never know what it felt like to exist in a world where there wasn¡¯t a soul who you were special to. Who you belonged to. Who simply wanted you. Tore Up: Chapter 25 ¡°Shh, sweet girl,¡± the sound of a husky, deep voice whispered. The hard warmth surrounding me felt safe. I tried to burrow closer. The smell¡ªI recognized it and inhaled deeply with a sigh of pleasure. A soft brush of lips against my temple caused me to tremble. ¡°It¡¯s okay. I¡¯ve got you,¡± the voice assured me. The tickling caress of a fingertip slowly moved down my cheek, my neck, then back to sweep against my bottom lip. ¡°Such lush lips for a sweet girl,¡± he said with a deep rumble in his chest. ¡°I wonder if they taste like you smell. Fucking strawberries.¡± I stretched, sliding my leg against muchrger, muscr legs, wanting to slip inside them. Feel connected, locked together. ¡°Mmm.¡± His pleased hum ended with a low, soft chuckle. Then, he lifted his leg so that I could get mine between both of his. I bent my knee and scooted my body closer so that his thighs encased mine. Callous fingertips ran down my back. ¡°That¡¯s enough, pretty girl.¡± His voice sounded thick. ¡°Sleep for me.¡± With a sigh from this contentment I¡¯d not known existed, I sank into the security of finding where I was wanted and belonged. The smoke and spice swirled around me like a nket. I could stay this way forever. In my own perfect heaven.Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org. My eyes opened, and sunlight filled the room. I blinked, not certain where I was and slightly panicked that I¡¯d lost something. Sitting up, I tried to figure out what was wrong. The scent I¡¯de to expect when I opened my eyes hit me, then did the memory of warm arms around me, being embraced, feeling gentle caresses, and hearing the lure of endearments spoken close to my ear. Sweet girl. Pretty girl. My face felt warm as my body ached from something it hadn¡¯t actually had. I¡¯d been dreaming. I¡¯d read about pregnancy dreams, that they could be powerful and even erotic. I just hadn¡¯t realized it would feel so real. I reached up and touched the ces the phantom finger from my dream had traced on my face and neck. That had been one hell of a dream. I looked down at my pillow. Would ite back if I went to sleep again? If so, I might just stay in this room and sleep all day. The desire to do that was strong, but I knew I couldn¡¯t. The rest of yesterday, I had kept to myself. I went out to the pool to swim, thinking I was alone, but I heard a distant thudding sound that went on for a long time. Not sure what it was until Bane walked into the great room, all sweaty and shirtless with athletic shorts hanging on his waist, showing off his cut, magnificently defined chest. The lines connecting his lower abs to his obliques made ces in my body start tingling that had no business reacting that way. At least not to him. His gaze slowly scanned my body before he turned and went back the way he¡¯de. The thudding returned, and I realized I had been hearing the punching bag. That gym was why he¡¯d looked like that. I wondered if the punching bag was how he had gotten the impressive V cut. Bane hadn¡¯t shown up again after that, and the house was quiet that evening. Than watched television with me while we ate, but I knew the others were at Gathe¡¯s house, watching a football game, and I hadn¡¯t wanted him to think he needed to stay with me. My dream had to be because of my inability to stop thinking about Bane¡¯s chest yesterday. The only positive thing that hade from it was, it¡¯d distracted me way better than my book had. Not wanting to think about what I had been told or what Fender Cash had said to me, I stood up and made myself busy, picking out something to wear. My situation was what it was, and nothing would change that.
I ate breakfast alone. The house was quiet, and I was starting to think everyone was gone. I made my way to the great room and found Bane sitting on the sofa, looking down at the phone in his hand. He nced up when he heard my sandals hit the hardwood floor. ¡°Did you eat?¡± he asked. My body instantly felt flushed at the sound of his voice. Oh no. Oh no. I could not do that. He might notice. It wasn¡¯t like I could exin it was because of a dream I¡¯d had. ¡°Yes,¡± I replied, afraid that I sounded breathless. He stood up. ¡°Mom wants to take you to the country club today,¡± he informed me. ¡°What you¡¯re wearing is fine.¡± I¡¯d put on a cream-colored linen sundress she¡¯d bought me. I ran my hands down the front, thinking it could probably use an iron. ¡°Are you sure?¡± I asked him. ¡°I do have another skirt and blouse she bought me that I could wear. It doesn¡¯t have any wrinkles.¡± His gaze raked over me, slower this time, and my hormonal body only turned up the warmth. Crap. I was going to be pink all over. ¡°You look good, Halo. That will blend in with the other people there.¡± His tone sounded bored. I would blend. Just a reminder that this man would not be calling me sweet girl or pretty girl. My imagination, however, had other ideas. ¡°All right,¡± I replied. He held out something toward me. ¡°You should go get your purse so you have somewhere to put this.¡± I stepped closer and looked down at his hand to see a shiny new iPhone. My eyes flew up to his face. ¡°That¡¯s not mine.¡± But he knew that. He was aware I didn¡¯t own a phone. ¡°Yes, it is. You need a phone. This one is yours. Take it.¡± The sharp demand in his tone caused my nipples to tighten. What in the world was wrong with me? My body had decided to start acting on its own, no matter how I felt about it. I took the phone, trying not to touch him¡ªbecause at this rate, who knew what body part would decide to light up? ¡°Um, thank you,¡± I replied slowly. ¡°I don¡¯t have anyone to call though. This looks expensive.¡± ¡°My mom wants to be able tomunicate with you easily. Her number is in there. This way, you can keep her updated daily on how you¡¯re feeling and she can n an outing with you or whatever,¡± he replied. I slid my finger over the screen, and it lit up. The wallpaper on it was the same photo in the frame by my bed. The ultrasound picture of my baby boy¡¯s face. A smile spread across my lips, and I touched his sweet nose. A passcode screen appeared. ¡°Due date,¡± he told me. I typed in 022225, and the phone opened. He¡¯d not asked me about my due date, yet he knew it. ¡°This is going to take some figuring out. I don¡¯t think I¡¯ve used one this new. I know how the old models work, but this looks different.¡± ¡°I loaded the ultrasound video on it. I figured you¡¯d rather have it with you on your phone than have toe watch it in here,¡± he told me. ¡°Go get your purse.¡± Giddiness bubbled in my chest. I had the ultrasound video on here. ¡°Thank you,¡± I replied, then went to hurry back to the stairs. When I reached the third floor, I opened the phone back up and found my Contacts. Bane was the first one, followed by Carver¡¯s Bootleg Whiskey, Cash Stables Office, Connie Ste, Grissele, and Than. Walking into my room, I was smiling, and a part of that was because Bane had put his number in my Contacts. It had to be the pregnancy messing with my head. That was all. Picking up my purse, I wiped the smile from my mouth and headed back downstairs. Tore Up: Chapter 26 ¡°Earth to Halo,¡± Than¡¯s voice said as he snapped a finger in front of my face. Blinking, I shook my head and stared at him. ¡°You were checked out pretty hard there, little momma,¡± he teased. I had no idea how many times he¡¯d called my name. He was right; I had been lost in the dream I¡¯d hadst night. Four days in a row now, I had woken up, looking around for the arms that had been around me. My dreams were getting more intense. The guy¡ªoh, who was I kidding? I knew who the dream guy was. Bane was touching me and kissing me a little more every night. Last night, I¡¯d dreamed he pressed his lips to mine and then ran the tip of his tongue along them with a low groan. I felt his erection and rubbed against it, but my dream Bane stopped me by cing a hand on my hip. He had whispered, ¡°No, no, sweet girl. Don¡¯t do that to me.¡± God, just thinking about it had me aching between my legs. Part of me wanted to find a way to make the dreams stop while another part of me wanted to sleep forever so I didn¡¯t have to give him up. Dream Bane made a host of things I had never experiencede to life inside me. ¡°You not gonna tell me?¡± Than asked, and I realized I¡¯d let myself drift off to my dream again. ¡°Sorry. It was nothing. Just me thinking about some things I read in the prenatal book I have.¡± That wasn¡¯t aplete lie. I had gone back and reread what it said about vivid sexual dreams. I found myself hoping the dreams would get more explicit but feared I¡¯d never be able to look Bane in the eyes again if they did. ¡°Is the information helpful, or is it shit that freaks you out?¡± he asked. ¡°Helpful,¡± I replied. ¡°That¡¯s why I asked about the treadmill. It says cardio is good for pregnancy, and I wanted something more to do than just swimming.¡± Than pulled inside the garage and nced over at me. ¡°You go get changed, and I¡¯ll give you a lesson on working the treadmill. Anything else in there you can use?¡± Iughed. ¡°Other than the weight bench, which I can¡¯t use, I have no idea what all that stuff is.¡± ¡°What about a row machine? Is that safe?¡± I shrugged. ¡°No idea. I¡¯ll ask Dr. Ste at my next appointment.¡± He opened his door. ¡°Everything else has weights involved, so we will stick with the treadmill only until then.¡± I climbed out of the Range Rover and followed him toward the garage entrance into the house. Going to the distillery every day had continued this week, and I was thankful for that. It helped with all the many thoughts that gued me. Something to focus on besides the bad was good. We wereter than normal ining home today because they¡¯d had a catered employee lunch and Ransom invited me to stay. It had made me feel included, and I appreciated it. The moment the door opened, I could hear the thud of the punching bag. Than cut his eyes at me. ¡°Bane must be back at it. He¡¯s already got the best pecs and abs. If he keeps this up, he¡¯s gonna take Locke¡¯s biggest biceps title from him.¡± The closer we got to the weight room, the more my stomach fluttered. I¡¯d never seen him hitting the bag, although he had seemed to be doing it a lottely. I prepared my whacked-out hormones with a steady breath before we entered the room. As if my eyes couldn¡¯t search him out fast enough, they immediately locked on Bane. He was soaked with sweat, and there was a fierce expression on his face that sent all the things inside me stirring in a crazed tizzy. Look away, Halo. Look away. That will make you have more dreams. Look away. He paused, putting his gloved hand on the bag to stop it as his eyes went from Than to me, then back to Than instantly. That stung, but it shouldn¡¯t have. I had no other reason but my insane dreams to expect him to acknowledge me. I didn¡¯t think we¡¯d even spoken yesterday. That was a lie. I knew we hadn¡¯t spoken yesterday. ¡°You¡¯rete. She needs to eat,¡± Bane told him tightly. Than nced back at me. ¡°We ate with the staff. Ransom had Kips cater it. She¡¯s had plenty.¡± There was a small tic in Bane¡¯s jaw. ¡°Barbecue isn¡¯t exactly a bnced diet. She has a meal in the kitchen with all the things she needs.¡± Than sighed heavily. ¡°She had a sd and grilled chicken. Chill, dude.¡± Bane¡¯s nostrils red, and he pulled the boxing gloves off his hands. ¡°I let you take her there. Don¡¯t bring her backte again,¡± he said, then stalked out of the room. Than shook his head. ¡°Controlling bastard,¡± he muttered. I¡¯d upset him. But it was Bane. He got angry easily. I had known this already, but my stomach still sank. I didn¡¯t like disappointing him. I wondered if there was a pregnant medication for these reactions I was having to him. Anything to make it stop.
Walking from the gym back to the great room, I felt refreshed from the three miles I¡¯d walked briskly while listening to the ylist that Than had shown me I could choose from on the speaker system. ncing out the windows, I paused, seeing Bane¡¯s profile. He was mostly hidden from view from where I stood. A cigar was in his mouth. No one had been here when I went to get on the treadmill. Late afternoons, they never were. I was getting used to being here alone at this time every day. I wondered if I should go apologize for yesterday, for not eating lunch here, since I hadn¡¯t seen him after he stalked out of the gym. I reached for the handle, then faltered. He took the cigar from his mouth, and his head fell back as he bared his teeth. The veins in his neck stood out, and his body rocked slightly forward. What was he doing? I couldn¡¯t move to go out there, yet I couldn¡¯t walk away either. He said something, and then his muscr shoulders moved as he dropped his gaze, looking down. I took a few more steps, trying to get past the shrubs that were blocking the rest of him. His head was back again, and I heard him shout a curse, but the look on his face wasn¡¯t pained. It was pleasure. Just when I was almost to where I could see what he was doing, he turned his head, and I froze as his eyes held me. From here, I could tell from the way his chest rose and fell that he was breathing heavily as he stared at me. The blonde who stood up in front of him was the p in the face to snap me out of my trance. He turned his attention back to the woman, who had been on her knees with his cock in her mouth, no doubt. No wonder he had looked like he was enjoying what was happening. Tearing my eyes off the two of them, I hurried away, wanting to get to the safety of my room. I had just watched Bane get a blow job. As if our rtionship hadn¡¯t been strained enough. Once again, I was ming my pregnancy on the fact that my panties were damp. Seemed they had been getting that way a lottely. Always after thinking about the Bane in my dreams. Now, I had the image of his face while he orgasmed to make my imagination even more out of control. Why was it Bane that I had been dream-fantasizing about? There were four other men in this house. I took the stairs more aggressively than required, then went into my room and closed the door. Letting out a frustrated sigh, I jerked off my sports bra, then started pushing down my leggings. I would take a nice, long shower, and I¡¯d feel better. Calmer. But would the ache between my legs go away? I never seemed to get any relief. A tight ball of need would build, and then I¡¯d be stuck with it, making even the clothes on my body a gentle tease, keeping me right there on the edge of unsatisfied. I looked over at the twin bed. Then, without thinking about it, I went over andy down on my back. I bent my knees and then let my legs fall open. Sucking in a breath, I slid my hand inside the front of my panties until they met the dampness that thoughts of Bane had created. ¡°Oh,¡± I breathed. I¡¯d never done this. I had always shared a bedroom with a sibling. This hadn¡¯t been something I could do. Moving a finger deeper inside, I realized my mistake. I¡¯d been missing out. ¡°OH.¡± Another moan came out, louder, and I shifted further down, then used two fingers to rub the wetness back and forth. This was helping. I closed my eyes, letting my imagination take over.N?velDrama.Org: text ? owner. Maybe I would make it through this weird stage of pregnancy. When I started waking up, unfulfilled, in the morning, I could do this and make it all feel better before I went downstairs and faced everyone. I cried out as my orgasm finally came, and I wanted to weep in relief. Tore Up: Chapter 27 Linc¡¯s hard stare didn¡¯t bother me. I stood there with my arms crossed over my chest, ring right back at him. He was asking for something I could not do. ¡°I can stay with her. I don¡¯t mind sleeping on the floor in her room,¡± Than offered. ¡°No!¡± I snapped, not looking away from Linc. The thought of Than upstairs in Halo¡¯s room while she slept was making my vision blur. No way in hell was that happening. ¡°You think she needs you here then?¡± Linc asked with a challenging glint in his eyes. ¡°It¡¯s Than that I see her with. Never you. She seems to rely on him.¡± He needed to shut the fuck up. Thoughts of her and Than were already taunting me. Fury was building inside me. Every morning I walked out of her room, I loathed not being able to stay. I despised knowing she¡¯d be with Than most of the day. ¡°I¡¯m not leaving her,¡± I replied through clenched teeth. Oz cleared his throat. ¡°I¡¯ll take Bane¡¯s ce.¡± Linc didn¡¯t look away from me. ¡°You were already going, Oz,¡± he pointed out. ¡°Yeah, but not to handle the main mark.¡± Linc finally shifted his gaze from me to Luther. I didn¡¯t care what either said. They were asking me to leave for three days. I wasn¡¯t doing it. ¡°It would be dangerous if his head was elsewhere,¡± Luther said. ¡°Right now, he needs to protect the girl and the baby she is carrying.¡± Thank you, Luther. Linc didn¡¯t seem like he agreed, but he looked to the other side of the room. ¡°Than, Forge, and Ransom, you go in as backup. Oz and Luther will lead. Gathe, for now, Gannon has requested you stay behind. You seem to be the only one who can handle Saylor. I¡¯ll stay to oversee things here, and so will Bane.¡± I said nothing as he looked back at me. ¡°She¡¯s a pregnant woman. They are needy. She will require human interaction. Than spends time with her. Gives her a life outside your house. If you are determined it has to be you who makes sure she¡¯s taken care of, then don¡¯t ignore her for three days.¡± There wasn¡¯t one muscle in my body that wasn¡¯t fisted tight. I hadn¡¯t been able to ept leaving her for three days, but doing more than making sure she ate properly andforting her at night so she slept wasn¡¯t going to be easy. I wasn¡¯t sure getting to know her would be good for either of us. I nodded. Linc didn¡¯t seem convinced, but he said nothing more. ¡°If you care so much about her emotional well-being, then don¡¯t be an ass. She¡¯s sensitive, even if she doesn¡¯t show it. You hurt her feelings almost every fucking time you see her. I am the buffer that eases it over,¡± Than said angrily. My eyes shifted to him, and I glowered at him. I didn¡¯t hurt her feelings. I just made sure we had no rtionship. Was he developing an attachment to her? Was that what this was? He had sworn he¡¯d not do that with her because she had been Crosby¡¯s, but was that sweet face getting to him? ¡°Than.¡± Ransom¡¯s tone held a warning. Than shot his brother an annoyed nce. ¡°What? He needs to hear it.¡± ¡°This isn¡¯t your business,¡± Ransom told him. ¡°Yeah, it fucking is. Because I am the only friend she has here. Me. I¡¯m the only one of us who has spent time with her. So, it¡¯s my business.¡± I took a step toward him, my arms falling to my sides as my hands fisted. Locke stepped in front of me. He was the only fucker here bigger than I was, but right now, his size meant little. The gnarled shit inside me was wing its way to the surface. ¡°Bane, you can go,¡± Linc said in his authoritative tone. No one said a word. The only sound was my blood roaring in my ears. ¡°It¡¯s about Crosby,¡± Locke said, as if I needed a reminder of my brother. ¡°For both of you.¡± Hearing his name reined me in enough that I was able to stalk to the door and get the fuck out of there before Than said anything more.
They had all left, and I was still pacing outside by the pool, smoking a cigar. Not ready to go talk to her. She would need to eat soon, and she¡¯de down to an empty house. All she had was me for the next three days. I¡¯d been unable to leave her, so I would have to spend time with her because of it. Finishing the cigar, I dropped the head into the ashtray, then made my way to the patio doors. My hand stilled on the handle when she walked into the great room. I stared at her, my mouth going dry. Her dark bronze hair was piled up on top of her head in a messy bun. She had on a pink bikini, and that sight was one I had never needed to see. I¡¯d had glimpses of her lying out on a lounger, but it had been from a distance. Not like this. Her tits looked like they were going to pop free from the top struggling to contain them. Smooth, golden skin from her afternoons outside by the pool. Long, shapely legs. Bare feet that I didn¡¯t need to see up close to know they were perfect. The barely there bump of her stomach snapped me out of whatever trance I¡¯d been in. My eyes lifted to hers, and I realized she had stopped walking and was looking at me. The trepidatious expression, as if she wasn¡¯t sure she should stay or go running back upstairs, only verified what Than had said. I made her nervous. She feared me. That was my fault, and I¡¯d been allowing it because it was for the best. I had demanded that it be me who stayed here. It was time I did the job I hadn¡¯t been willing to let anyone else do. Opening the door wide, I held her gaze. ¡°Coming for a swim?¡± She licked her lips, and that only reminded me of how sweet they¡¯d tasted when I ran my tongue over them in a moment of weaknessst night and the night before. It was bing something that I had to do. If she didn¡¯t have such enticing pink Cupid bow¡¯s lips, then I¡¯d be able to leave them alone. ¡°I, uh, thought everyone was gone,¡± she said. I shook my head. ¡°Not me. But please,e swim. Don¡¯t let me stop you.¡± She¡¯d been here alone since lunch. It was almost six. If I went inside, then she¡¯d be isted again. I needed a drink if I was going to get through this. Just not too much because I didn¡¯t trust my actions. ¡°Okay.¡± Her reply was a soft smile before she dropped her gaze to the ground and began to walk in my direction. I held the door, not moving. When she reached it, she whispered, ¡°Thank you,¡± as her cheeks flushed, then continued outside. The smell of strawberries made my dick twitch. Down, boy. She¡¯s not asleep, and this isn¡¯t the time to get fucking hard. My eyes fell to her ass, and I bit back a groan. I would make small talk. Then go inside and jerk one out before we had dinner. That small, round bottom of hers had the perfect amount of jiggle to it. I could have gone without seeing that, too, because now, it was going to star in my damn spank bank. Following her, I tore my gaze off her ass and tried to look at anything else. Think about anything else. Something that didn¡¯t involve a part of Halo¡¯s body. She dropped her towel on the lounger, then nced at me with a startled look. I was sure she hadn¡¯t expected me to stay with her. Based on her wide-eyed expression, she would rather swim with a rabid animal than have me out here. That irked me even though it was my fault. I still didn¡¯t like it. The girl I held at night wasn¡¯t scared of me. She clung to me. Buried her face in my chest. Even fucking moaned at times. ¡°Looks like you¡¯ve been enjoying the pool. You¡¯ve gotten a deeper tan,¡± I said, walking over to the bar. ¡°Oh, uh, yes. Swimming is good for pregnancy,¡± she replied. Her tone was a touch defensive, as if I had been using her of something. Taking a ss down, I tried not to get pissed about it. She¡¯d think I was mad at her and likely run inside.Content protected by N?v/el(D)rama.Org. ¡°I¡¯m sure it is. Once the temps drop, I¡¯ll make sure the heater stays on for you. We don¡¯t use it enough, so normally, we just keep it off unless we are having guests over,¡± I told her while I poured myself a drink. When I lifted my gaze to look at her, she was frowning. What had I said wrong? ¡°What heater? In the house?¡± she asked. I grinned and took my ss as I walked back over to the lounger beside the one where she had ced her towel. ¡°The pool. It¡¯s a heated pool. You can continue to swim during the fall and winter months.¡± Her mouth made a perfect O shape as she turned to look at the water, as if she could see the heater in it. ¡°How ¡­ nice,¡± she replied. ¡°Very convenient.¡± If we were going to make it three days with just us, she was going to have to lighten up around me. Right now, she was strung so tight that she looked rigid. ¡°Halo,¡± I said, and she swung her eyes back to me. ¡°Rx. I¡¯m not going to hurt you. Just thought since we are here alone, we¡¯d keep each otherpany. Swim. Do what you would normally do.¡± Her alluring eyes went from anxious to bewildered as she blinked. ¡°Okay,¡± she replied hesitantly. I took a drink and watched as she turned to walk toward the water. The ass view again. Yep, that was going to fuck with me. It would be best if I didn¡¯t keep herpany while she was dressed like that the rest of the time we had together. She shivered as she stepped into the water, then moved down slowly until it covered her smooth, round cheeks. Thank God. I hadn¡¯t been able to look away. At least I couldn¡¯t see it now. While her back was to me, I adjusted my boner the best I could so that it wasn¡¯t obvious. Facing the truth that I was attracted to Halo was irritating. I had a mountain of reasons why I shouldn¡¯t be attracted to her stacked up so damn high that even her delectable little body shouldn¡¯t faze me. I had expected to loathe her or at least feel nothing where she was concerned. I¡¯d thought her presence in my life would be a weight I had to bear for Crosby¡¯s sake. His son¡¯s sake. But, fuck, it had taken less than a month of her living under my roof, and that wasn¡¯t the case. Not even close. I wasn¡¯t sure if I wished it were or not. Because the truth was, at night, when I held her, my soul was at ease. The void and agony that warred in my chest were gone. It was just her. She took long strokes as she swam back and forth across the deep end. What was it about her that was so different? Why was she so damn appealing? Other than the fact that she was gorgeous. There had to be more. Gorgeous women weren¡¯t hard to find. Halo had something else. It had drawn Crosby in so deep that he had been ready to say fuck it to the entire family and move in with her. Than was clearly getting attached. The predatory gleam in his eyes when he talked about her and him using that goddamn nickname were the main reasons I wanted to nt my fist in his face. Then, there was me. Counting down the hours every day until she was asleep in bed and I could hold her. I¡¯d tried so many times not to go up there. To stay away and let go of whatever it was she was doing to me. Forget it. But the pull was too much. I fucking needed her. The silkiness of her skin, her warm body, the scent of strawberries¡ªshe was the only thing I¡¯d found that gave me peace. The urge to destroy, rip through everything in my past, faded away when I was with her. I¡¯m sorry, little brother. I hope you understand. I¡¯ll just have the nights. I need those. I swear that¡¯s all. Once these three days are up, it¡¯ll go back to the way it was. She is yours. I¡¯m not trying to take her away. She¡¯s just keeping me sane right now. Tore Up: Chapter 28 Bane walked over to me, carrying a nket. I watched quietly as he ced it over me, then took a seat further down the sofa. He had eaten dinner with me after I took my shower. He asked me questions about what all I was doing at the distillery. When we were done, he¡¯d suggested we watch a movie. I wasn¡¯t sure if I had entered an alternate universe or what was happening, but I didn¡¯t want to leave it. At first, when he¡¯d followed me to the pool, I had expected him to tell me swimming or too much sun was bad for me. Just something negative and bossy. That was not at all what he¡¯d done. Pleasant Bane was throwing me off. I kept thinking he¡¯d snap out of it at any minute and return to being an asshole. ¡°I have to go to the stables tomorrow. Do you want to go with me? I¡¯ll let you feed the horses carrots, and we have a new foal you haven¡¯t seen,¡± he said. Turning my head to look down the sofa at him, I processed what he¡¯d just said, not sure I¡¯d heard that right. He wanted me to go to the stables ¡­ with him. When I didn¡¯t say anything because I was speechless, one corner of his mouth quirked, as if he was amused. ¡°I won¡¯t bite,¡± he teased. ¡°I might be a while, and I don¡¯t want you to be stuck here all day, alone.¡± He¡¯d said he wouldn¡¯t bite like that was funny. Had he forgotten that he had held a knife to my throat and sent a bullet flying inches from my head? Because I hadn¡¯t. My attraction to him and my secret alone time, where I thought about him, were different. In my dreams, he wasn¡¯t the same man. In reality, he had threatened to kill me. The one-eighty he¡¯d taken here was a jolt. Be that as it may, I also did not think I could turn him down. That might make him go back to being mean, and we were alone here. The others were gone on some family job. Than wasn¡¯t here to be a buffer for me. ¡°Okay, um, thanks,¡± I replied. He didn¡¯t say anything more as the movie began, and I pulled the covers up to my chin. He had asked me if I likededy, horror, or action movies. I¡¯d saidedy or action was best. Not having nightmares had been a relief, and I didn¡¯t want those to return. I didn¡¯t know what movie he had chosen as I stared at the screen, and he hadn¡¯t told me. There wasn¡¯t much time for me to get interested in it before my eyes began to get so heavy that I couldn¡¯t keep them open. Deciding that he probably wouldn¡¯t notice if I closed them a little bit, I gave in, sighing as I snuggled into the plush sofa. ¡°Probably should have gone withedy.¡± Bane¡¯s deep voice was close to my ear and pulled me from the darkness. Hands slid underneath my body, and I opened my eyes, startled, as Bane scooped me into his arms. When he began walking with me, his gaze met mine. He smirked. ¡°Action is not your thing.¡± My entire body felt heated, pressed against his chest. He was actually carrying me. No one had ever carried me in my life. At least not since I could walk. I was stunned. ¡°Go back to sleep. I¡¯ll put you in bed.¡± He would put me in bed? There was no part of my body not awake now. It was all very alert¡ªsome parts more than others. I was going to embarrass myself. I had to get out of this. I also didn¡¯t want him to have to walk up all the stairs. I wasn¡¯t that light. ¡°I can walk,¡± I told him. ¡°I¡¯m good,¡± was all he said. I wasn¡¯t good. I needed him to put me down and let me go have some alone time in my room before going to sleep. ¡°I, uh, need to brush my teeth and change. You don¡¯t have to carry me up.¡± He nced down at me and then stopped. Whew. That had worked. I just hoped my knees didn¡¯t give out on me. Because they might be weak from this experience. His jaw looked tight, and I worried that I¡¯d made him mad. I was starting to enjoy this Bane and really hoped the other side wasn¡¯ting back out. I prefer to keep Dr. Jekyll, please, and Mr. Hyde can stay locked away. ¡°Okay,¡± he said almost reluctantly, lowering me until my feet hit the floor. Yep, my legs were weak and slightly shaky, as was the rest of my body. ncing at him nervously, I managed a smile. ¡°Good night,¡± I told him, not wanting him to realize the effect he had on me. Then, I turned and hurried up the stairs. Once I was safely in my room, I closed the door, then let out a long, shaky breath. Lifting my arm to my nose, I inhaled to see if I smelled like him. Let down, I didn¡¯t smell anything but the strawberry shampoo I also used as my body wash since I¡¯d run out of the soap I had brought with me.N?velDrama.Org: text ? owner. My eyes went to my bed, and I anxiously began to undress and went to get my pajamas. I slipped on my top, then paused when I reached for my bottoms. Deciding it would be easier without those since I was going to need to get myself off before I could go back to sleep, I left them in the drawer and closed it. Going to the bed, I picked up my bottle of sleep aids and took one, then pulled the covers back and climbed inside. Lying on my back, I slid my hands down into my panties and sighed. With images of Bane, I used my imagination. It didn¡¯t take long before I was muffling my cry when I climaxed. Smiling, I tucked my covers up and under my chin before closing my eyes and drifting off. He was here. My dream Bane. His warm, hard body was sliding under the covers with me. I shivered with anticipation. These dreams normally began with him already in bed, but this time, I got to feel as he moved close to me. His hand went over my back. I pressed closer, and his hand stilled. I heard his sharp intake of breath as his body tensed. ¡°Ah fuck,¡± he whispered. ¡°Where are your shorts, pretty girl?¡± I¡¯d forgotten about those. My dream was going to be more urate than I¡¯d expected. I buried my face in his chest to inhale. Bane¡¯s palm was t on my lower back, making that area tingle from his touch. It began to slowly ease down until his fingertips brushed against the satin andce of my panties. He let out a ragged sigh, and his hand flinched. I wiggled against him, not wanting him to stop. ¡°No,¡± his low voice scolded me. ¡°Let me hold you. That¡¯s enough.¡± I disagreed. I wanted dream Bane to do more than just hold me. But like the real Bane, I didn¡¯t want to anger him. I rubbed my cheek on his pec, loving how it felt. How he smelled. When I moved my leg up to slip between his, he didn¡¯t hesitate. But he never did anymore. I scooted my body closer until his thick thigh was touching the crotch of my panties. That was wonderful. Why hadn¡¯t I done that before? A deep noise vibrated in his chest, and my already-hard nipples tightened more. I rocked against him, just the slightest move, not wanting him to tell me no. When he said nothing, I did it again and again. This was even better than my fingers. The ache between my legs turned into a throb. Bane¡¯s chest rose and fell in short, fast breaths. Did this feel good to him too? His palm felt like a gentle caress as it lowered until it was covering one of my butt cheeks. A satisfied groan came from Bane, and I started rocking harder. The friction building. ¡°Sweet girl¡±¡ªhis voice was low and thick¡ª¡°you need to stop.¡± No. No, not yet. Please not yet. I was so close, and I wanted to feel what it was like to orgasm with his arms around me. His hand crept down until his fingertips were so close to my wet folds that I wanted to plead with him to touch me. Slip his fingers inside me. Oh God. I let out a moan, lifting my bottom back so that it forced his fingers over the fabric sticking to the wetness between my legs. ¡°Fuck.¡± His hoarse whisper made me tremble. ¡°Ah, pretty girl.¡± I rubbed his thigh, then went back enough that his fingers ran over me too. I was close. Almost there. Bane let out a pained groan, and then he did it. His fingers went beneath the fabric until he was touching my clit. I fought back the orgasm, wanting this tost. ¡°Hot,¡± he murmured, pressing a kiss to my head. ¡°Swollen.¡± His lips traveled down my face. ¡°Soaked.¡± I began to shake as the release came. Nothing had ever felt that good, and this was just my drug-induced imagination. He took his hand away as I eased back against him. His arms locking around me. I began to drift. The words, ¡°So fucking sweet,¡± sent a warmth of pleasure over me as I faded. Tore Up: Chapter 29 She hadn¡¯t woken up. Not the way she was curled up to me like this. Halo awake didn¡¯t get close to me. She kept her distance. But this Halo? Goddamn, she felt so good. Sounded so fucking sexy. I lifted the fingers that had been in her needy cunt to my mouth and sucked her juices off them. Fuuuuck, that was good. It was sweet. How was her pussy sweet? I wanted to roll her onto her back, spread her legs, and go take it from the source to see if this was real or not. Her low, even breathing meant she was still sleeping deeply, but I doubted she¡¯d sleep through my tonguepping at her cunt. She was going to kill me. I shouldn¡¯t have let that get so out of hand. But she had seemed desperate for it. I had worried if I stopped her, she would wake up. That couldn¡¯t happen. I didn¡¯t need her to know about this. I couldn¡¯t lose it. This was all I got of her. My palm itched to grab her ass and squeeze it. Just holding my hand over it while she made those small thrusts had been torture. Every little jiggle beneath my hand had almost made me crack. I had wanted to dig my fingers into the plump flesh, p it hard, bite it. Dammit, I had to stop. If my dick throbbed any harder, it might explode. As much as I needed to go get myself off, I didn¡¯t want to leave her this soon. I still had hours before I had go. Although I wasn¡¯t sure I could make it that long. My hips pressed against her of their own will. My erection rubbed her stomach, and I had to bite back the groan that almost tore from my lips. That would have woken her up. I had to get away from her. Mentally preparing myself to let her go, I started to ease away when her hands clung to me. I stopped. She wasn¡¯t ready to let me go yet. And if my dick wasn¡¯t currently demanding a release, I would happily stay. She stretched her body, causing her stomach and the top of her mound to stroke my cock. I sucked in a breath. Then, she did it again. What the hell was she doing? And if she didn¡¯t stop, I might pin her to the bed and thrust against her until I got off. A low purr that sounded like a kitten passed her lips, and she kept making those slow stretches. Her back began arching so that my dick was getting more friction. Was she really doing this in her sleep? She hadn¡¯t done anything like this before. The ministrations continued. With each arch of her back, I was given the view of her tits and hard nipples under the silky camisole. I wanted to take one in my mouth and bite it until she screamed. If this were anyone else, it would take some grinding, dirty talking, and tits bouncing to get me to where I was now, with something this innocent. But I had to bite down on my lip until I tasted blood to keep from making a noise as my body shuddered and I shot my load in my fucking boxers. I was sure thest time I¡¯de in my pants, I¡¯d been eleven. Fucking hell. Iid my hand on Halo¡¯s back to stop her as my cock finished twitching. I pressed my nose into her hair and breathed her in. Her body sank against me, and I closed my eyes, sated. Not just sexually, but emotionally as well.
Wilma left after telling me how to put the breakfast she¡¯d prepared for Halo together. She wasing back in three hours to clean and cook dinner before we returned. Our lunch was already made and in a cooler, waiting by the door leading to the garage. I¡¯d decided to take Halo back to the pond on the back of our property for lunch. I made my coffee and drank it, ying overst night¡¯s events in my head. Could she have really done all that asleep? While it had happened, I couldn¡¯t make myself give a shit about anything but how incredible it felt. My attraction to her had taken over, and I would have shot anyone who had interrupted us. It was a good thing there wasn¡¯t a chance of that. I picked up my phone and looked down at the search engine. What did I google? I wanted to know if pregnancy made women have wet dreams. I was also curious about her pussy. It had been plump and swollen. That wasn¡¯t anything I¡¯d felt before. I decided to start with pregnancy and wet dreams. That came up real fast. Extra blood flow to her genitals. Call the damn thing a pussy. I continued to read. Raised hormone levels could boost sex drive and lead to seriously steamy dreams. I wondered what she¡¯d been dreamingst night when she rubbed that sweet cunt on my thigh. The thought that it might have been another guy, even my brother, made my hand grip the phone tighter. I wasn¡¯t going to think about that. Desires or fantasies she¡¯d been repressing- I liked that much better. I wanted to be what she was dreaming about. It wasn¡¯t healthy, and this was fucked up, but I couldn¡¯t turn it off. Whatever wet dreams she was having had better be about me. Not that I would really know. It wasn¡¯t something I was going to ask her about. I heard her footsteps and clicked off the screen, then stuck my phone in my back pocket to pick up my coffee cup. Time to act like I hadn¡¯t been studying pregnancy hormones and swollen cunts. She stepped into the room and paused when she saw me. I gave her a nod, not missing the way her entire body blushed. Not just her face. Why was she embarrassed? Either she¡¯d been awakest night or it was me she¡¯d been fucking in her dream. Let it be thetter. If she had been awake while I stuck my fingers in her pussy or when she rubbed her body against my cock until I erupted like a damn preteen, then things were gonna get tricky. ¡°Morning,¡± I said, studying her as she smiled shyly at me. ¡°Good morning,¡± she replied. I should feel her out. Not push, but I was an impatient man. ¡°How did you sleep?¡± I asked just as casually as one would ask about the weather. Her face turned so red as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, I was almost positive she¡¯d been asleep. Dreaming about me. That knowledge tamed the jealous beast that had been right there on the edge. I set my cup down and walked over to the oven to take out her spinach frittata. ¡°Have a seat. I¡¯ll get your breakfast,¡± I told her, feeling like a smug bastard. Taking the sour cream and sauce that Wilma had prepared, I drizzled it over the frittata, then put a tablespoon of sour cream onto it. Reaching back into the fridge, I took out her smoothie. She was sitting and watching me. Her face wasn¡¯t as red anymore, but she appeared nervous. I ced her te in front of her, then the smoothie beside it. ¡°Spinach frittata and mango wheat-germ smoothie.¡± Her gaze dropped to the meal. ¡°Thank you,¡± she replied. ¡°I just added the toppings,¡± I told her, then turned to get the omelet Wilma had made me from the oven warmer. I¡¯d waited to eat so Halo wouldn¡¯t have to eat alone. Taking my coffee, I walked over to take the stool beside her. She stiffened slightly. I didn¡¯t like that. The more I got the Halo who was all cuddly and couldn¡¯t get close enough to me, the less I could handle the one who kept her distance. Leaning closer until my arm brushed against hers on purpose, I took the salt and pepper that I could have easily asked her to pass me. The small shiver I felt from her made me bite back a smile. Yep, she might be scared of me, but she had been dreaming about fucking me. ¡°Your mom texted me this morning. She wants me to go with her today to look at nursery furniture for the room she¡¯s setting up at her house.¡± Not happening, Mother. At least not today. ¡°I¡¯ll talk to her. Let her know we have ns. You¡¯re just sixteen weeks, right?¡± I looked at her. She nodded, so I continued, ¡°Plenty of time for that.¡± ¡°Okay,¡± she replied. ¡°I, uh, thought perhaps you¡¯d want to be free of me today.¡± Nice try, pretty girl, but that¡¯s not going to work. You got off on my leg and fingersst night, leaving me dealing with a host of shit happening in my head that requires I keep you with me. I¡¯d work through it, and when the guys returned, it would go back to the way it had been. That was how it had to be, so for now, I was getting my fill. Figuring this out andbeling it so I could move past it. ¡°With everyone else in the house gone, I think it¡¯s a good time for me to get to know the mother of my nephew,¡± I told her. She took a bite of her food, warily ncing over at me. It was a fucking shame I¡¯d never see those eyes of hers open when she came for me. I¡¯d bet they darkened like a stormy sea, and when the pleasure hit, they¡¯d melt into the ssiness of a raindrop. I jerked my eyes off her. What the fuck had that been? ¡°I would like that. To get to know you,¡± she admitted, bringing me back from the ce my thoughts had taken me. I took a drink to wash down my omelet. ¡°Just don¡¯t get too attached. I¡¯m not just easy on the eyes; I¡¯m entertainingpany when I want to be,¡± I said teasingly. A smallugh bubbled out of her, and a satisfaction unfurled in my chest. I liked that I¡¯d made her do that. Seemed I liked making here andugh. ¡°I¡¯ll do my best,¡± she replied. We finished breakfast with me asking her where she¡¯d gone to school and what her favorite kind of music was. Then, we moved into favorite ice cream. It led into her holding her stomach as sheughed, her eyes shining brightly when I told her my favorite vor was vani. I understood why she wasughing, and the fact that her mind had turned it dirty made me grin like a damn fool. When I asked her what was so funny, she pressed her lips together and shook her head. ¡°Come on now,¡± I urged. ¡°say what you¡¯re thinking.¡±Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org. She licked her lips dropping her gaze. ¡°Well, that¡¯s a boring vor and I guess I expected something more exotic from you.¡± I wanted to see theughter twinkling in her eyes again. Reaching over to touch her even if it was simply my finger under her chin was a bad idea. ¡°Cookie dough is pretty damn basic,¡± I pointed out. She stood up to carry her te to the sink. ¡°No, it isn¡¯t. There are yummy chunks in it.¡± I watched her catching myself waiting for those eyes of hers to meet mine again. She didn¡¯t look my way even as she walked past me, and it felt as if she was doing it on purpose. Stepping up behind her when her back was to me, and she was facing the sink, I leaned down close to her ear. Too close. Her scent was there reminding me ofst night. ¡°My taste in ice cream and fucking differ greatly,¡± I whispered, then turned and headed for the door. ¡°Let¡¯s go. We have things to do,¡± I told her not looking back but knowing she was behind me by the sound of her soft footsteps. Tore Up: Chapter 30 If I thought he¡¯d been different yesterday, today, I wasn¡¯t sure Bane was the same person. Like Invasion of the Body Snatchers kind of different. He was almost ¡­ charming. Which should send up a giant red g because Crosby had been charming, too, and I¡¯d been the secret sidepiece. I hated thinking that. I didn¡¯t want to remember him that way. Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I followed Bane into a round, padded room inside the impressive building they called stables. ¡°What is this for?¡± I asked, noticing the cameras up near the ceiling. ¡°Breeding,¡± he replied. I studied the room as we walked through it. ¡°So, you, uh, put horses in here and watch them?¡± I asked,pletely fascinated. ¡°Yep. Have to make sure it happens. We have three champion thoroughbreds that we breed here. Other owners bring their mares here and pay for the stud services,¡± he exined. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t it be easier to just artificially inseminate?¡± I asked, thinking this seemed like a lot of work and space just for two horses to mate. ¡°Can¡¯t. Not to be legally registered as a thoroughbred in the US. The foal must be a result of a live cover. Which means they have to actually fuck.¡± He shed me a wicked grin, then opened another door for us to pass through. I hadn¡¯t seen all this when I visited the stables with Than. He¡¯d taken me to see the horses, and I¡¯d watched a practice jockey on the track, but that was it. ¡°Do you breed them all year?¡± He shook his head. ¡°Breeding season is roughly February to the first of July. We start here February 15 and go through mid-June.¡± We stepped outside, and I saw a round pen, where a beautiful chestnut horse stood while a new foal ran around yfully. ¡°How old is he?¡± I asked, walking over to watch him. ¡°He was bornst month. Which isn¡¯t ideal, but then we hadn¡¯t nned this mating. We are keeping him, but we won¡¯t know for sure if his sire¡¯s genes were enough to get passed to him with him being born sote.¡± Frowning, I nced over at him. ¡°What does that mean? Why does it matter when he was born?¡± Bane leaned on the fence, resting his elbows on the railing, and the mare made her way to him. ¡°All thoroughbreds, no matter when they are born, turn one on January 1. If a horse is born on December 31, it turns one the next day. Since thoroughbreds race ording to their age, it can be a big disadvantage when a horse like this one races against a horse born in January or, hell, even June. For this reason, you ideally want them born in January or as close to it as you can get.¡± That seemed incredibly unfair. Bane ran hisrge palm down the mare¡¯s neck, and I found myself envious of a horse. Switching my focus to the foal as it tried to get attention, I decided that was safer than thinking about Bane¡¯s hand running down my body the way it had in my dreamst night. Which had gotten much more erotic. I was pretty sure he¡¯d ejacted in his boxers in my dream. My face heated, and I shoved that thought away. Not thinking about it. At least not around him. ¡°How much do people pay to have their mares bred by the studs here?¡± I asked, needing to be distracted more than anything but also a little curious. ¡°Depends on the horse. dimir cost one hundred fifty thousand. Vindicator runs two hundred thousand because he is a Triple Crown winner. Baldric is one hundred thousand.¡± Holy crap, that¡¯s a lot of money. I nodded as if that wasn¡¯t shocking. Bane kissed the mare¡¯s neck, then patted her before nodding his head. ¡°Come on. I¡¯ll show you the trophy room. You can see them in their glory days, and then I¡¯ll take you to see them now. Than wouldn¡¯t have taken you to see those three. They¡¯re off-limits for visitors.¡± I fell into step beside him, staring out at the vast green pasture that seemed to go on for miles. In the distance, I could see a rider taking a horse around the track Than had taken me to. It was beautiful out here. We went back inside one of the buildings that had the office where I¡¯d heard Bane having sex with the office manager. I¡¯d only seen a glimpse of her once since we¡¯d arrived. Bane opened a door and waved a hand for me to go inside. The lights came on, and the wall-to-wall ss cases that lined the room were full. ¡°Wow,¡± I said, scanning them all. ¡°This over here is the current champions we have as breeding stock,¡± he told me, pointing to the left wall. I walked over, and he showed me the pictures and exined the wins of each one. When he got to a picture of Baldric, he paused. Crosby was standing beside the horse, grinning at the camera. He was younger there, but not much. A small ache came from the sight of him. His son would never know him. That was what hurt the worst. ¡°Baldric was Crosby¡¯s,¡± Bane said. ¡°This is his first year in retirement.¡± I crossed my arms over my chest, stepping back with a smile I didn¡¯t feel. ¡°Excuse me,¡± a woman¡¯s voice said, and I turned to look back at the office manager. ¡°Bane, I have some paperwork I need signed.¡± He didn¡¯t turn back to her or even nce in her direction. ¡°I¡¯ll get to it before I leave,¡± he replied. Her smile was tight, but the moment he took a step closer to me, a re in her eyes had me turning away from her. Bane pointed at another photo and started telling me about it. His hand touched my back, and I sucked in a breath. He¡¯d never done that before. My heartbeat sped up, and I was reminded of my dreamst night. ¡°I could bring them to you in here if you¡¯d like,¡± the woman said. ¡°That won¡¯t be necessary,¡± he replied, then kept talking to me. I tried very hard to listen to him, but he was very close and touching me. It was difficult to stay focused. ¡°But¡ª¡± she began, but Bane cut her off. ¡°Adalee, that¡¯s enough. Leave.¡± His sharpmand startled me. I heard her turn and walk back out the door, but I remained tensed up. ¡°We will go see the horses after lunch,¡± he told me. ¡°I¡¯m getting hungry.¡± I nodded, but said nothing. Bane¡¯s hand fell from my back. ¡°Sorry about that,¡± he said. I lifted my eyes to look up at him. Was he apologizing for touching my back? ¡°She¡¯s got the wrong idea since I let her suck me off in the office,¡± he said with a shrug. I guessed I knew what they¡¯d been doing now that he¡¯d so bluntly shared. Not wanting things to get awkward between us since I¡¯d been enjoying today, I decided to be as flippant about it as he seemed to be. ¡°I imagine that happens. Those females getting all confused after getting on their knees for you,¡± I replied. He stared at me for a moment, as if he wasn¡¯t sure he¡¯d heard me right. Then, he threw his head back andughed loudly. I couldn¡¯t keep from smiling. I¡¯d made himugh.
The water on the pond was like ss. Finishing off my wrap, I dusted off my legs, then stretched them out in front of me on the thick nket that Bane had brought out here with us. A pic for lunch out by a pond had been unexpected but lovely. I asked more questions about thoroughbreds and the foal that¡¯ste birth seemed to make him less desired. It bothered me. I was worried about the little guy. He was beautiful, and I thought he looked like a winner. ¡°You¡¯re worried about the foal,¡± Bane said, picking up on my questioning. I nodded. ¡°Yes. It seems unfair that he¡¯s judged before being given a chance.¡± Bane took the te beside me and ced it on top of his. ¡°He will be given a chance. I was just saying that the odds aren¡¯t in his favor. That¡¯s all.¡± I turned to him, and his eyes met mine, looking amused. I didn¡¯t find it funny. ¡°You don¡¯t even call him by name. You just call him the foal.¡± His brows drew down slightly. ¡°You want me to call him by a name? Will that make you feel better?¡± I shrugged. ¡°It will help. He can¡¯t change who he is or when he was born, but he¡¯s just as special as the horses born in the winter.¡± Fighting to get noticed or to get approval was something I knew all too much about. ¡°Okay, well, what should we name him?¡± I gaped at him. ¡°You haven¡¯t named him yet?¡± That was even worse. The poor baby didn¡¯t have a name. How horrible. ¡°No, we haven¡¯t, but that¡¯smon,¡± he told me. ¡°He doesn¡¯t have to have a name when he is registered. Most owners take time to decide on the name that the horse will be registered under. There are rules to the official name. But if you want to give him a barn name or nickname, then we will use it.¡± I pointed a finger at my chest. ¡°Me? You want me to give him a nickname?¡± He nodded. ¡°If you want him to be called something other than the foal, then you need to decide what that name will be.¡± I chewed on my bottom lip as I stared out at the water to think. That felt like a lot of pressure. This wasn¡¯t what I had meant when I said he needed a name. ¡°Are there rules to what he is called? I mean, his nickname?¡± I asked. ¡°Just can¡¯t have the same name as another horse here. That would be confusing.¡± I sat, thinking about a name that would fit him. Something he could be proud of that wasn¡¯t silly. Bane remained quiet as I ran through ideas in my head, and then it hit me. I turned to look at him. ¡°Slingshot,¡± I said with a smile as it rolled off my tongue.Content protected by N?v/el(D)rama.Org. ¡°Okay, Slingshot it is,¡± he agreed. ¡°Where did youe up with that?¡± I leaned back on my hands. ¡°Did you ever go to church as a kid or hear any Bible stories?¡± I asked him. He chuckled. ¡°No to church, but, yeah, my granny made sure we heard the stories.¡± ¡°Do you know the story of David and Goliath?¡± I asked. He nodded. ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ve heard it.¡± ¡°Goliath was known as a champion, but he was taken down by a little boy and a slingshot.¡± Bane licked his lips as he grinned. ¡°Okay. Message received.¡± I sighed, feeling much better about the little foal and his future. Tore Up: Chapter 31 My fist remained frozen in the air as I stared at the closed door. Another of Halo¡¯s moans from the other side, and I had to grip the doorframe. She was masturbating. Fucking hell. I squeezed the wood tightly and closed my eyes as her sounds got more frantic. This was something I had not needed to know. I didn¡¯t need to hear it. I should walk away. Leave her to it. But I wasn¡¯t going to. I was going to stand here and torture myself with it. Ripping this door off the hinges and going to rece her fingers with my mouth¡ªit was tempting as fuck. I knew how she¡¯d tasted on my fingers, and I was jealous of hers right now. That they got to touch her slick cunt and pussy lips. Taking long, deep breaths, I dropped a hand to rub against my dick. How many times today had she made me hard? Could I even count? She¡¯dugh, and I¡¯d stiffen in my jeans. She¡¯d sh me a shy smile, and there I¡¯d go again. She would lean over, and I¡¯d see her cleavage. Then, bam, boner. I had gone to work out in the gym and kept ncing at the clock, counting down the time until I¡¯d get to have dinner with her. Get an excuse to talk to her some more. This was day one. I had two more days of this shit. ¡°Oh God!¡± she moaned loudly, and my hand tightened on my cock. Fuck, pretty girl, that sounds hot. I needed to stop listening. This was wrong. I stepped back and fisted my hands at my sides. ¡°Bane!¡± she called, and another cry came from her. She was getting off to thoughts of me. Fuuuuck. Time for another goddamn shower. I had to get myself under control before she came back downstairs. I¡¯de to ask her what movie she wanted to watch tonight. It was just an excuse to see her. I hadn¡¯t wanted to wait any longer. ¡°Oh, oh, oh.¡± Her voice was softer. I unbuttoned my jeans and was working on the zipper as I headed down the stairs. My dick was going to be raw from all the jerking on it I had been doing, but, damn, she was keeping me worked up. ncing at the guest bedroom as I passed it, for a moment, I considered moving her in there. No, I couldn¡¯t do that. Too close to me. The others might hear her when she had her sex dreams, and they¡¯d know I was in there with her. I had to leave her upstairs. I shoved my door open and stalked into my room, pulling my cock out of my pants as I did so.
Halo sat down on the sofa, pulling her legs up and crossing them. I had almost asked her twice now what movie she wanted to watch, but the second attempt hadn¡¯t happened either. During dinner, she¡¯d asked me questions about the stables. She was curious about shit no other female I¡¯d dated even thought about. It was fucking cute, the way she was visibly concerned about the foal she¡¯d named Slingshot. I should tell her that his sire was a Triple Crown winner, and if we wanted to sell him today, he¡¯d sell for hundreds of thousands. But I was enjoying the way she was championing him like he needed one. Pulling up the movie options, I turned to look at her. ¡°What¡¯s your favorite movie?¡± I asked. She scrunched her nose, thenughed softly, almost as if she was embarrassed. It was bad that I wanted to kiss every one of those damn freckles on her nose.Content protected by N?v/el(D)rama.Org. ¡°You just made me real fucking curious¡ª¡± I stopped myself. I¡¯d almost called her pretty girl. Shit. I was losing my head. ¡°In my defense, I didn¡¯t get to watch much television, growing up. I only went to the movies once.¡± A shadow crossed her face then, as if the memory wasn¡¯t pleasant. Wanting to demand to know what had happened and what fucker I needed to kill was also not good. She was the kind of girl guys fought over, chased. Every weekend night of her teenage life, she should have been taken on dates. But the fucker I¡¯d killed had made sure that didn¡¯t happen. The burn in my gut to kill him again because of the look on her face was strong. My immediate reaction shouldn¡¯t be for her. Just the baby. But, damn, I didn¡¯t like knowing she¡¯d been robbed of so much. She¡¯d been smiling andughing. I wanted to keep it that way. ¡°What movie did you go see?¡± I asked, trying to calm my vengeance for a girl I hadn¡¯t known. The one she¡¯d been. The one who had needed someone to care about her. Other than the sick psycho who had lived under the same roof. She shrugged. ¡°I honestly don¡¯t remember. We, uh, didn¡¯t see the whole thing. I had to leave, but that wasn¡¯t my favorite movie,¡± she told me. ¡°No one remembered my twelfth birthday. I was a preteen and had all the emotions that came with that. I hadn¡¯t expected a present or even cake, only for someone to remember it. Anyway, I stayed up after everyone went to bed and snuck into the living room to watch television. I never got to choose what we watched. An old movie came on one of the few stations we had.¡± She paused and pursed her lips as her eyes twinkled. It would have made meugh if my chest wasn¡¯t currently constricting over the fact that no one had remembered her fucking birthday. ¡°Buffy the Vampire yer.¡± Trying like hell to tamp down the shit going on in my head, I managed to smile. ¡°I can honestly say I have never heard of that one.¡± Her musicalugh soothed me. ¡°You don¡¯t say?¡± she replied sarcastically. I went to hit Search to see if I could find it, and two things popped up. There was a movie and a television series. Both were definitely old school. ¡°Which one?¡± I asked her. ¡°There is a TV series?¡± she asked, sounding excited. ¡°Um, I just watched the movie.¡± I selected the movie. ¡°Bane,¡± she said, and I turned to look at her. ¡°You aren¡¯t going to like this. Please pick a movie you want to watch.¡± I shook my head. I hadn¡¯t nned on doing that, but I sure as hell wasn¡¯t going to now that I knew she¡¯d never gotten to watch what she wanted, growing up. Fuck that. She could pick every night. We could even watch the series if she wanted to. ¡°We are,¡± I told her. ¡°This is what I want to watch.¡± She gave me a look that said she wasn¡¯t fooled before turning to the screen. ¡°The early ¡¯90s,¡± I said, grinning. ¡°Like I said, we can watch something else.¡± ¡°Why would we do that?¡± I asked. ¡°The ¡¯80s and early ¡¯90s have some of the most iconic movies of all time.¡± Another trickle ofughter. ¡°Sure they do.¡± I looked at her. ¡°I¡¯m serious. Risky Business, The Lost Boys, Dead Poets Society, shdance, The Breakfast Club, Goodfes.¡± She was smiling at me as I listed off movies. When she didn¡¯t agree, I knew she¡¯d never seen one of them. We were going to rectify that shit. When the movie started, I turned back to the screen. ¡°Shh, no more talking,¡± I told her. Another giggle, then silence. After a few minutes, I nced at her to see she waspletely focused on the screen. My thoughts, however, were on how much longer it would be before she was asleep in bed so I could hold her again. Tore Up: Chapter 32 Fingertips gently caressed my lower back and down over my barely covered bottom. My dream Bane. I burrowed my face into his neck and inhaled. God, that was so good. Wondering if he tasted as good as he smelled, I flicked out my tongue to run along his skin. A deep hum of pleasure came from his chest, and I smiled. He¡¯d liked that. I did it again. His hand slid further down my butt until his fingers were just inside my crotch. I sucked in a breath as my body shuddered. I wanted more of that. ¡°Ah, pretty girl, you¡¯re killing me. Be still.¡± His voice was a husky whisper. I didn¡¯t want to be still. I wanted his fingers inside me again. Whimpering, I lifted a leg toy it over his. The growl he let out when my thighs were open caused tingles throughout my body. He liked it. He might want me to stop, but he liked this. A thick, callous finger slipped inside my folds, and I moaned with relief. That felt amazing. ¡°Is this what you need, sweet girl?¡± he whispered. I wanted to say yes, but I rocked against his touch. Another finger moved under the satin fabric until it was pressing into me. I gasped and fisted my hands against his chest. ¡°Fuck.¡± His hoarse voice was gentle, but the strain in it made me want more. He enjoyed this. Touching me. My dream Bane wanted to feel me. I pressed a kiss to the curve between his neck and shoulder, then tasted him some more on my tongue. His other hand sped the back of my head and held me there. ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s it,¡± he encouraged me. A finger shoved inside of me, and a long, soft cry tore from my lips. He stilled. Why was he stopping? I needed more of that. ¡°Easy,¡± he murmured as he began to sink deeper. My breaths wereing in quick pants against his skin. The pleased sounds he was making went straight to my clit. I bucked my hips against his hand. ¡°Ooh.¡± That one word came out pleadingly. The hand he had on my head massaged my scalp. ¡°You like that,¡± he said as his lips pressed against my forehead. His finger then began to pump in and out in a slow rhythm that was going to drive me crazy. ¡°This slick cunt is so tight.¡± The words were so soft that I almost didn¡¯t hear them over the sound of his heart, so close to my ear. I was close. The crest was rolling over me with each thrust of his finger. My nails bit into his skin as I held on to his hard bicep. ¡°Bane!¡± I cried out as my body shook and pleasure ripped through me. ¡°That¡¯s it,¡± he whispered. The darkness came, as the dream faded with his arm locked around me and his finger still buried deep inside me.
Bane pulled up to a fancy building with expensive stores that I¡¯d never been into. I looked at a disy window that had a chandelier and lots of pink fur, gold ents, bath bombs, bars of soap, bath salts, bottles of all kinds. I should have been more specific when I told him I needed to go buy some shampoo and soap. I shifted my eyes to look over at him. ¡°Uh, while I am sure this store has lovely bath items, what I need can be found at a pharmacy. Perhaps Walgreens or Rite Aid,¡± I exined. He reached for the handle on his door and opened it. ¡°Okay,¡± was his response as he stepped out, then closed the door. I watched him as he walked around the front of his truck until he was at my door, opening it. He had heard me. He¡¯d said okay. Why were we getting out? ¡°Is there somewhere in here you need to go?¡± I asked, thinking maybe this was a stop he was making that had nothing to do with me. He held out his hand for me. ¡°Yep.¡± Oh. Well, okay then. I slid my hand into his, and he helped me out of the truck. I nced back at the building. What would he need to get here? I knew there were other stores inside, but from the looks of this ce, I didn¡¯t think it was anywhere he would want to shop. As I walked beside him, he went to the two double doors with gold teardrop-shaped handles that had arge crystal of some sort in the center of each. He opened one, then stepped back so I could enter. As I walked inside, the smell was phenomenal. I inhaled another breath deeply. Bane¡¯s hand rested on my back, and he nodded his head toward the entrance to the bath store. I went with him, trying to decide if he¡¯d brought me here to buy something for another woman. The idea bothered me, but only because it was getting more difficult to remember dream Bane and real Bane weren¡¯t the same. When we stepped inside the store, ady with a pink pencil skirt and matching jacket walked up to us. Although she was older than Bane, her appreciative smile wasn¡¯t lost on me. The charming smile he gave her made me bristle. I had no right to be jealous, but I was. ¡°How can I help you?¡± she asked, barely giving me a nce. ¡°I need something that smells like strawberries,¡± he told her. I snapped my gaze up to stare at him. Strawberries? My heart did a funny flutter, and then it began to race. Was this a coincidence? Dream Bane had said something about me smelling like strawberries, but never this Bane. His eyes met mine, but he said nothing. ¡°We don¡¯t have a strawberries scent exactly, but we do have a strawberries and cream. There is also our newest line; it isn¡¯t strawberries, but it¡¯s divine. Mar oil, white truffle, vani bean¡ª¡± ¡°The strawberries and cream,¡± Bane interrupted her sales pitch. She looked deted, but kept her smile. ¡°Of course,¡± she replied, then led us over to the scent he had requested. With a wave of her hand, she beamed at him once again. ¡°We have shampoo, conditioner, body wash, lotion, and soap in this scent.¡± Bane reached for a bottle of shampoo and opened it. His nostrils red slightly as he held it to his nose. He nodded, closing it, then handed it back to the woman. ¡°All of it.¡± Her eyes flickered to me momentarily, then back to him. ¡°One of each?¡± she asked for rification.N?velDrama.Org: text ? owner. ¡°Yes,¡± he replied. She beamed at that and began taking the items off the shelf. ¡°I¡¯ll go get this all packaged up for you.¡± Bane pulled his wallet out of his pocket, then slid a ck card from the worn leather. When he handed it to her, I saw her eyes widen slightly as she took it. With a quick nce down at his name, she looked back up at him. ¡°I¡¯ll be right back, Mr. Cash.¡± How likely was it that he¡¯d bought that for someone else? My mind was whirling. If that was for me, why had he chosen strawberry? How had he known that my shampoo was strawberry? ¡°Stop frowning,¡± he told me. ¡°You¡¯ll smell just as good with the added cream scent.¡± My eyes darted back up to him. ¡°So, this is for me?¡± He smirked. ¡°Did you think it was for me?¡± I ran my bottom lip through my teeth, thinking about asking him why he¡¯d chosen strawberry or how he had known. ¡°What is it?¡± he prodded. ¡°My shampoo that I get can be purchased for a tenth of what the bar of soap here costs.¡± He chuckled. ¡°You didn¡¯t even pick it up to look at the price.¡± ¡°I¡¯m guessing.¡± ¡°This will be better for your hair and skin,¡± he told me. The strawberry thing was bothering me still. ¡°Why strawberry?¡± I blurted before I talked myself out of it. He raised his eyebrows. ¡°That¡¯s the shampoo scent you use, isn¡¯t it?¡± Yes, but how had he known that? I stared at him, trying to read his expression. But the amused gleam in his eyes wasn¡¯t helping me. ¡°You realize that your eyes hide nothing. Every thought you have is right there on disy,¡± he said with a curl of his lips. Then, he leaned down close to my ear. ¡°I¡¯ve carried you, Halo. I know how you smell.¡± Oh. I wasn¡¯t sure if that was relief or disappointment as I let out a breath. Perhaps it was a mix of both. The saledy returned with his card and a white bag with gold printing on the front and pink tissue paper inside, as if it were packed to give as a gift. Bane took the card and the bag. ¡°Thank you,¡± he replied, then signed his name on the iPad screen before turning back to me. ¡°Ready?¡± I nodded and headed toward the exit as he followed me. Bane had just bought me expensive products for my hair and body. Why? Was this just part of his taking care of me because I was carrying his brother¡¯s baby, or was it something more? The time we¡¯d spent together, mixed with my dreams of him at night, was getting it all confused in my head. And I was afraid for my heart too. It was easy to protect myself from the rude, angry man who hated me. But this Bane? He was too much like the one who had held me at night. I wasn¡¯t sure I could protect my heart from him. He opened the truck door for me. ¡°Library next?¡± he asked me. I¡¯d mentioned this morning that I¡¯d like to find a library nearby so I could get some new books to read. He hadn¡¯t responded, only nodded. I sat down and looked up at him. ¡°Yes, if you don¡¯t mind.¡± His cocky smirk no longer grated on me. Instead, I found it endearing. Tore Up: Chapter 33 The guys were back early. I knew it before we returned to the house because Bane had gotten a text, but I wasn¡¯t prepared for the change in him once we walked inside. The guy from the past two days was gone. After he¡¯d let me spend two hours in a library, gotten a library card in his name for me to check out books, taken me to his favorite Mexican restaurant¡ªwhere we¡¯d talked,ughed, and had a good time¡ªhe left my bag of books on the sofa, along with my bag of expensive bath products, then walked off without a word. Not even a backward nce. My chest felt heavy as I carried my things up to the bedroom. Taking some time to regroup, I sat on the bed and stared out the small window. The way his eyes crinkled at the corners when heughed, the teasing tone in his voice, his hand on my back, as if I were his¡ªI hadn¡¯t imagined it all. Sure, the sex dreams were all in my head, but I had experienced the other things. Spent time with him. A knock on my door sent my heart fluttering. I swung my gaze toward it. ¡°Come in,¡± I called as my eyes watched with expectancy. Hoping it was Baneing to exin his change. Than entered the room, and I struggled to keep the smile on my face. This was my friend, and he didn¡¯t deserve a disappointed reaction. He sauntered into the room. His friendly face normally eased my anxiety. Not this time. What Bane had stirred in me was too powerful, it seemed. ¡°Well, little momma, you look like you survived two days with Bane,¡± he said with a grin. I nodded. ¡°Yeah, I managed.¡± I¡¯d done a lot more than manage. He chuckled. ¡°Want toe out for a swim with me? We¡¯ve gotpanyingter. It¡¯s a thing we do after being out of town for a job.¡± I didn¡¯t want to leave this room. Not until I had my head on straight with this Bane thing. But I also didn¡¯t want to hurt Than¡¯s feelings. ¡°Okay, yeah,¡± I agreed. He looked pleased. ¡°I¡¯ll meet you down there.¡± I nodded, and he turned to leave but paused. ¡°Why does this room smell so fucking good?¡± he asked. My gaze swung to the bag of items Bane had bought me. I hadn¡¯t even noticed it, but he was right. It smelled delicious. ¡°New bath products. I was out of the things I¡¯d brought with me,¡± I exined. His eyebrows shot up. ¡°I see,¡± he replied before leaving the room. When the door closed behind him, I stood up and went to get one of my bikinis. I was being sensitive. Bane might have had other things on his mind when we got here and needed to talk to one of the guys. He didn¡¯t have to give me hisplete attention all the time. This was probably part of the pregnancy hormonal thing messing with my emotions. The knot in my stomach loosened, and by the time I was changed to go downstairs, I felt better. Ransom gave me a nod from the sofa in the great room, and Oz called out a, ¡°Hey,¡± when I passed the kitchen. I looked for Bane, hoping to get a glimpse, but I didn¡¯t see him. Stepping into the warmte afternoon sunshine, I saw Than already swimming in the deep end. Forge was on the phone at the outdoor bar, telling someone what they were out of. He nced up and saw me. He smiled, then went back to looking at their supply beneath the counter. Iid the towel I¡¯d brought down on a lounger just as I heard the thudding that I recognized. Bane was in the gym. Knowing he was still in the house made me rx. Why that was the case, I wasn¡¯t sure. But I wanted to know he was close. Very bad reaction, Halo. Very, very bad. ¡°Feels good,¡± Than called out to me. I started toward the zero-entry end of the pool and walked in, slowly adjusting to the cool water a little at a time. Than tilted his head back and ran his hand over his head, slicking the wet locks back before looking in my direction. His eyes drifted down to my stomach, and a slow curl of his lips appeared. ¡°You¡¯ve got a bump.¡± I nced down. It had started to show more this week. I was also pretty certain that the strange feeling of actual butterflies in my stomach was the baby. I¡¯d read that it could feel that way at first. ¡°Yeah, it really seemed to pop out there almost overnight,¡± I replied. Than¡¯s eyes met mine when I looked back up at him. ¡°When do you get another ultrasound?¡± he asked me. ¡°At twenty weeks.¡± I was anxious to see how much he¡¯d grown and changed. The brief flicker of sadness that crossed his expression made me wonder if I¡¯d imagined it. He smiled brightly. ¡°I want to go to that one.¡± That was unexpected. ¡°Oh, okay,¡± I replied, not sure what Grissele would think of that. I knew she would be taking me. ¡°Tell me what you did while we were gone,¡± he said. ¡°Bane swore he wouldn¡¯t leave you here alone all day.¡± He had? Was that why he¡¯d spent time with me? Because he¡¯d had to? No. Bane didn¡¯t do things he didn¡¯t want to do. Did he? Than was looking at me, waiting on me to say something. ¡°We went to the stables, had a pic, watched movies at night, and today, he took me to get shampoo and soap, then took me to the library.¡± The surprise on Than¡¯s face was followed by a shortugh. ¡°Seems he did as promised.¡± There was that again. Bane doing something he had to do. Now that they were back, he didn¡¯t have to spend time with me. The ¡­ friendship I had thought we were forming wasn¡¯t that at all.N?velDrama.Org: text ? owner. I listened to the thud of the punching bag. I wished they¡¯d stayed gone longer. I hadn¡¯t been ready for my time with Bane to end, and I was afraid it had.
When Than had said guests, he¡¯d meant women. The feminineughter filtered through the house as I finished the meal that Wilma had made for me alone in the kitchen. After swimming, I had gone to take a shower and use my new products that not only smelled heavenly, but my hair was also smoother and my skin felt like silk. That small little enjoyment though had been short-lived. The closer I¡¯d gotten to the great room and the more female voices I heard, the heavier the rock in my stomach seemed to get. Once I reached the entrance, I scanned the room to see a blonde on Locke¡¯sp with her legs open and his hand between them and Forge with a redhead straddling hisp on the opposite end of the sofa. Backing up before I was noticed, I¡¯d caught a glimpse of Than outside, leading a naked woman further into the darkness. I should have been thankful none of them were making out in the kitchen. Although I tried very hard not to think about where Bane was or who he was with while I ate, it was futile. Because dream Bane had me feeling things I had no business feeling. Like jealousy and envy. Also, I caught myself imagining wing some unknown woman¡¯s eyes out for touching him. Frustrated with my unwanted train of thought, I ate what I could with no appetite, then headed back to the stairs. I was not going back to the great room. That would be awkward, and they certainly didn¡¯t want me there. This must be what Than had meant when he said they did this after getting back from being away on a job. They had a fuckfest. I¡¯d remember that in the future. Prepare to eat in my room and note out. A door opened in the wide hallway before I reached the one that led up to third floor. Another naked woman appeared. Her hair was tinum blonde and hung down to her waist in thick waves. She was standing at the open door, giving whoever was inside a sultry look. ¡°Do you want Bronwen or Kenna to join us?¡± she asked. I couldn¡¯t hear the response, but sheughed at whatever it was, then turned to close the door before sauntering down the hallway. Her eyes swung to me, and she scowled. I hurried into the small staircase, closing the door behind me, then made my way up. I didn¡¯t know whose room was down there. That could have been Bane¡¯s room. The thought soured my stomach, and I wished I hadn¡¯t eaten. When I was in my room, I stared at the library books for a long time before finally going over to get one. I couldn¡¯t lie here and think about what Bane was doing. It would drive me crazy. I needed a distraction. I had to face the painful fact that he was probably having sex too. My pathetic longing to be wanted and special to someone always managed to turn any attention from a man I was attracted to into something it wasn¡¯t. What I felt and what Bane felt were two different things. Tonight, I hoped dream Bane didn¡¯te. He was only making it worse. Tore Up: Chapter 34 She curled against me, and the hard, small bump of her stomach brushed against my cock. It jerked in response. Dammit, that should be a reminder of why this was wrong. It shouldn¡¯t turn me on. She shouldn¡¯t turn me on. But here I was. Holding her. Unable to stay the fuck away from her. She was wearing her pajama shorts again tonight, and I didn¡¯t like it. I wanted her bare ass cheeks avable for me to run my hands over. A low moan came from her when she pressed her stomach against my erection. I¡¯d had strippers willing to fulfill whatever fantasy I had tonight. Yet none of them had gotten me this fucking hard.Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org. I cupped her silk-covered ass and held her tighter against me. This was so fucking messed up. My need for her. I¡¯d been so enraged that they¡¯de back early that I spent over an hour in the gym, beating the punching bag. Trying to get control of myself. ¡°Bane,¡± she sighed as her hard bump continued rubbing against my dick. I shifted so that it ran over her clit on its way down. When it pressed in the right spot, her mouth fell open, and she let out one of those sexy little sounds she made. ¡°That¡¯s it, pretty girl,¡± I said, soothing her. ¡°Right there on your sweet pussy.¡± She pressed her tits against my chest, and I¡¯d give anything to strip the fucking camisole off so I could feel them bare. I was tempted to hide her pajamas so she¡¯d have to sleep naked. I¡¯d probably need to hide all her clothing so she wouldn¡¯t put something else on. My pretty girl was modest. She wouldn¡¯t be naked up here, waiting for me. I¡¯d have to make sure she had no choice. Goddamn, what was I thinking? I was actually considering it. Just to hold her naked. I had to stop this. Stoping up here. Her hips started moving fast and thrusting against me each time my cock hit her clit. The fast breathing and soft sounds of pleasure became all I could think about. As if I could stop this. ¡°Mmm,¡± I groaned, which made her be more frantic. The ache in my balls was building with her frenzy. I held her tightly to me, closing my eyes as she panted. I was trying not toe, but she was making it hard. My blood became a pound in my ears. This body fit against mine as if she¡¯d been made for me. Everything about it¡ªabout her¡ªdrove me crazy. ¡°Oh, oh, oh, oh, Bane,¡± she cried out, and the first tremor that ran through her body was all it took for me. The euphoria that tore through me caused a roar toe from deep in my chest. I mped my teeth down on my bottom lip to silence it, but not before some of it escaped. Her body shivered as she sank into me, then finally stilled. I stared down at her, positive that there wasn¡¯t another face on the thatpared to hers. My eyes dropped to her lips. I wanted to see my cum on that pretty mouth. I wanted it on her tits. Those heart-stopping blue eyes looking up at me with ropes of my cum coating her. My cock twitched, and I groaned. I¡¯d fucking leaked some more. If I did this from dry-humping her, what the hell would I do if I ever got my dick in her cunt? The image sent a surge through me. I had to get away. This was getting to be too much. I was losing my head. Every time we did this, I got lost a little more. The reasons why this was wrong ¡­ they all were fading. I moved my hips back, looking down to see the tip of my cock had been outside of the waist of my boxers when I shot my load. The mess wasn¡¯t just on my stomach, but hers too. A fierce, hot rush went through me as I stared at her bare, rounded stomach, covered with my semen. Fuuuuck. This wasn¡¯t something I¡¯d needed to see. My chest was tight. I reached between us and ran my thumb over where she had been marked with me. I inhaled sharply, unable to think past the craving to do more. im her. Slowly, I lifted my thumb. I no longer felt in control. This pull she had on me was owning me. With my eyes glued on her slightly open lips, I slipped my thumb into her mouth. Another roar threatened to erupt from me when she sucked weakly, taking my seed that had been on it. I¡¯d marked her inside. I soaked in the sight as she began to suck harder. Goddamn, I couldn¡¯t take much more. Lifting my eyes to hers, I froze as her blue gaze met mine. Tore Up: Chapter 35 The salty taste on my tongue as it wrapped around Bane¡¯s thumb made me hum with pleasure. I liked it. I stared into his eyes as he lifted himself up on his arm, taking his thumb from my mouth. I didn¡¯t want him to stop. I opened my legs, reaching for his arms to bring him between mine. It was then I saw the horror in his topaz eyes. What was he looking at me like that for? Blinking, I tried to bring my dream back to where I liked it. With Bane wanting me the way I did him. Why was this happening? ¡°Halo.¡± His voice was hoarse. ¡°Yes?¡± I immediately replied. It sank in that he hadn¡¯t called me pretty girl or sweet girl. In my dreams, he never used my name. I moved my hand to my stomach, and when I found the sticky warmth ¡­ my eyes widened. This didn¡¯t feel like a dream. It felt real. Very real. Bane shot off the bed as if I¡¯d just morphed into a rattlesnake. He stalked toward the door, and I sat up, watching him, still trying to understand what had happened. We¡¯d ¡­ we¡¯d rubbed as he held me. I¡¯d orgasmed. When he grabbed the handle, he paused, then looked back at me. In the darkness, I couldn¡¯t make out his expression. But this was different. This wasn¡¯t one of my dreams. I sat there, speechless. This had been real. My stomach had his semen on it, and he had been in my bed. It had all happened. I hadn¡¯t taken my pill. I¡¯d fallen asleep while reading. The door was yanked open, and he was gone. His thumb had been in my mouth. What had he been doing? I dropped my gaze to my fingers still on my stomach and looked at them. Had he ¡­ I lifted them to my mouth and licked some off. Salty. The same. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. He¡¯d put his cum in my mouth. The other nights ¡­ had all of it been real? Surely not. They couldn¡¯t have been. He¡¯d have been different with me. Wouldn¡¯t he? The way he spoke to me in the dreams was gentle. He had wanted me as much as I did him. But how was tonight real? I¡¯d not taken my pill. Which meant I hadn¡¯t been in a deep sleep. I looked back at the closed door. Had he been getting in bed with me while I was medicated and I¡¯d been doing all those things to him with him? If so, he had let it happen and never once acted like anything had changed between us. I tugged my camisole back down andid my head on the pillow again. When I inhaled, all I could smell was him. Fresh-cut oak, smoke, and spice. When I woke up every morning, that was what met my nose first. Because he had been here. Dream Bane and the real Bane were the same.
On the walk to the kitchen the next morning, I was a mix of nerves and uncertainty. I¡¯d barely gotten any sleep after Bane left. My eyes had stayed on the door as I willed him toe back. Talk to me. Touch me. Than was standing at the fridge when I walked in and leaned back to look at me and smile. ¡°Mornin¡¯, little momma,¡± he called. Oz was sitting on a stool, eating and looking down at his phone. He barely nced at me and gave me a slight nod. ¡°Good morning,¡± I said, feeling immediate disappointment that Bane wasn¡¯t in here. ¡°Did you check your texts?¡± Than asked me as he pulled the milk out, then closed the door. I always forgot to look at my phone. I shook my head. ¡°Figured. Grissele ising to get you in an hour. You¡¯ve got a shopping day ahead of you.¡± Oh. I¡¯d wanted to stay here and wait for Bane. ¡°Okay,¡± I replied. ¡°Don¡¯t look too thrilled,¡± he replied with a chuckle. ¡°I¡¯ll take it as apliment. You would rather go with me to the distillery. I know you missed me.¡± I had actually forgotten about going with him to work. All I seemed to be able to focus on was Bane. I managed a smile. ¡°Here is your breakfast,¡± he said, opening the oven warmer to pull it out. ¡°I think Wilma said there was a smoothie to go with it. Wait a sec.¡± I walked over to where he¡¯d set my te, not wanting to eat anything. ¡°Here you go,¡± he said as he ced a pink smoothie in front of me. ¡°Bane leave?¡± Ransom asked, walking into the kitchen. Just hearing his name had myplete attention.Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org. ¡°Gone,¡± Oz said simply, not looking up. ¡°Gone where?¡± Ransom asked. ¡°Away,¡± he replied. Ransom frowned. ¡°No shit. Where is he? When will he be back?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t know.¡± My gaze swung from Oz to Ransom, silently willing him to push for more information. When he didn¡¯t and walked to the coffee machine instead, I took my breakfast and sat down. Bane wasn¡¯t here. Did he not want to talk aboutst night? Or all the other nights? I wasn¡¯t mad at him. Was that it? He thought I¡¯d figured it out and I was going to be upset? I had to talk to him. Tell him exactly how not upset I was. Washing his dried cum from my body this morning in the shower had made me feel ¡­ sad. ¡°Sorry aboutst night,¡± Than told me, taking the stool on the other side of me. It took me a minute to figure out what he was talking about, and then I remembered the party. The naked girls. That had all been forgotten. ¡°It¡¯s okay. It¡¯s your house. After being gone on a job, I¡¯m sure you had steam to blow off,¡± I tried to say nonchntly. Augh came from Ransom, and I looked over at him. His grin confused me. What was so funny? Oz made a noise in his throat that sounded like a deep chuckle. I turned to him and saw his lips were tugged up slightly in the corners. ¡°Stop,¡± Than scolded, although I could hear the amusement in his tone. ¡°She said it,¡± Ransom replied, taking a drink of his coffee. I turned to Than. ¡°What was it that I said?¡± He pressed his lips together, clearly trying not tough or smile. ¡°It was the to blow off part.¡± I frowned and repeated it in my head, and then my eyes narrowed. He let out a cackle ofughter then, unable to hold it back. ¡°Seriously?¡± I asked. He nodded, then took a bite of his omelet. ¡°What are y¡¯all, twelve?¡± I asked. ¡°Eighty-five percent of the time,¡± Oz replied, not looking at me as he continued to study his phone screen. ¡°Yes, Halo. We all blew off steam. Some of us several times and by different mouths,¡± Ransom drawled. My face felt warm, and I ducked my head to hide my blush. Than nudged me with my arm. ¡°He¡¯s teasing.¡± ¡°About what part? Because I personally blew down two different throats,¡± Ransom replied. I was going to have to live in this house with these men for a while. Getting embarrassed by everything sexual they said was silly. I was pregnant. It wasn¡¯t like I was innocent. I¡¯d also tasted cumst night for the first time. Lifting my head, I looked directly at Ransom. ¡°Well, I hope you at least said thank you,¡± I told him, then reached to pick up my smoothie. The chuckleing from Oz this time was louder. Ransom grinned wickedly. ¡°Oh, I did better than that.¡± There went my cheeks again. Oh well. It was a work in progress. Tore Up: Chapter 36 Fucking Bane. I climbed the stairs to the third floor as Halo¡¯s cries got louder. This was the second night in a row he¡¯d been gone. I didn¡¯t mind sleeping on the floor, but I didn¡¯t know how to make her stop crying outpletely. She¡¯d never really settledst night. I¡¯d stopped her screaming, but the cries and restlessness had continued.N?velDrama.Org: text ? owner. Where the hell he had run off to after refusing to go on the job with us because he couldn¡¯t leave her, I didn¡¯t know. But something was up. He wasn¡¯t answering text or calls, and no one knew where he was. I had a feeling Linc knew, or he¡¯d be more worked up about Bane¡¯s absence. Opening her door, I stepped inside, then went to quiet her down. Tears wet her cheeks, and she let out another scream while sitting up fisting the covers in her hands. Dammit! Crosby would have hated this. Seeing her like this. I sat on the edge of the bed and ced my hands on her shoulders. ¡°Easy,¡± I said gently. ¡°It¡¯s okay, little momma.¡± She trembled, and her bottom lip quivered pitifully. I ran my hand over her hair. ¡°You¡¯re okay. Everything is fine,¡± I assured her. ¡°Just lie down.¡± Easing her back on the bed, I tried real hard not to look at her tits through that thin, silky thing she was wearing, but it was hard. They were pressing against the fabric, and her nipples were outlined, even in the darkened room. They were the biggest natural tits I¡¯d ever seen. She let out another panicked sound, and I snapped my eyes off her tits to look at her face. Crosby¡¯s baby momma. She has big tits because she is pregnant with your dead best friend¡¯s kid. Stop being a fucking creep, I scolded myself. I brushed her hair back off her face. ¡°Shh, you¡¯re fine. You¡¯re safe,¡± I said softly. The girl was stunning. Every feature perfect. Damn near angelic. Her name fit her. I thought of the look on Crosby¡¯s face, the panic in his eyes, the pain when he¡¯d said her name. I rubbed my hand over the ache in my chest. ¡°We found her, man. She¡¯s okay,¡± I whispered. ¡°But, fuck, I wish you were here. She needs you. Saylor never did, but this one does.¡± Moving off the bed, I walked over to the wall and sank onto the floor, watching her. Thankfully, she was still. Maybe she¡¯d get some rest tonight. Satisfied that she was sleeping, I closed my eyes. ¡°Bane!¡± My eyes flew back open. What the fuck had she just said? Bane? She was tossing her head back and forth. ¡°Bane!¡± she moaned this time. What the hell? A sob came from her, and I sat there, unable to move. What was going on? Why was she calling out the wrong brother¡¯s name? She buried her face into the pillow as she became still again. I stared up at the ceiling. Where was the fucker? Did he know she cried out his name? Why would she cry his name? ¡°You¡¯d better get your ass back here, you motherfucker,¡± I muttered into the darkness. Tore Up: Chapter 37 The library books had gotten me through most of the weekend. Than had asked me to go swimming twice, and I had gone only because he¡¯d been persistent. I needed the exercise, he¡¯d reminded me. Yesterday, they had watched football all day, and I¡¯d gone in the great room for lunch and dinner as they yelled at the screen. It seemed Oz was a bookie, and I would wager that it wasn¡¯t legal bets he was taking. The way they had talked, it seemed he took veryrge amounts from people, and it was filtered through the family. Every day that passed and Bane didn¡¯t return, the weight on my chest got heavier. The guys never talked about it, although it had been five days since he¡¯d left. I had spent hours yesterday debating on asking Grissele if I could move there, like she had suggested, but then I¡¯d be living with Fender, who hated me. I feared that Bane was staying away from his home because of me. If he¡¯d just talk to me,e back, we could figure it out. Today meant more football. I¡¯d gone out to the pool for an hour, but when I saw some women arrive, I decided to get my dinner and make my way upstairs for the evening. If the sexfest was about to start, I¡¯d prefer to get away as soon as possible. Wrapping the towel around me, I stared at the patio door as a brte sat down on Ransom¡¯s knee, then reached to pull off her crop top. Yep, not going in there. I headed toward the left of the house to walk around to the front entrance. I knew the code for the door, and I could slip in, unnoticed. No need to bother the guys and their booty calls. I winced as I walked over some pebbles, wishing I¡¯d brought my shoes. Just as I was about to get past the painful part of this journey, I heard voices and stopped. A car door closed. More guests. I pressed my back against the wall, not wanting to be seen lurking around the house outside. ¡°Where is he?¡± a female asked. ¡°Oz said they don¡¯t know,¡± another replied. I heard the click of their heels on the brick path as they drew closer to the house. ¡°And it¡¯s all because of that girl Crosby identally knocked up?¡± ¡°Yeah, he¡¯s mentally wasted. She¡¯s in his face every day. Reminding him of why his brother is dead. It¡¯s heartbreaking.¡± ¡°What a selfish bitch. As if Crosby would have wanted them to take care of some hanger-on because she was nasty and let him shoot his load in her.¡±N?velDrama.Org: text ? owner. I winced, pulling my towel tighter against my chest. ¡°Right? Bane is suffering. He¡¯s all moody, but deep down, he¡¯s such a good man.¡± A smallugh came from one of them. ¡°When he gets back, you can make him feel better. You¡¯re his favorite.¡± ¡°I hate that he is being run out of his own house. It¡¯s just unfair.¡± ¡°The others should make her leave.¡± ¡°Bane said it¡¯s Than. He refuses to get rid of her. ims they owe it to Crosby.¡± The door opened, and I heard Forge greet them before it closed. Silence. I started to walk, but not toward the front door anymore. I wasn¡¯t sure where I was going. All I knew was, I needed distance. To get away. I walked out of the backyard and into the darkness. I was a burden. Someone who had been forced upon Bane and the others. Someone they did not want. I¡¯d let myself believe otherwise when, deep down, I¡¯d known the truth. I was a reminder of who they had lost. I winced as something stabbed my bare foot, but there was a numbness settling over me. It eased the old, familiar ache that had begun to stir again. The moonlight filtered through the trees just enough so I could keep from running into anything. A limb raked across my calf. The sting made me think it might have broken skin. Not that it mattered. I just needed to be alone. Out of the way. I continued on, ying through everything they¡¯d said. The trees became denser, and I stopped to look around. I couldn¡¯t see the lights from the house in the distance. That was probably bad. Getting back could be an issue. I saw a log and went over to sit down. Wrapping my towel around my shoulders, I shivered and stared at nothing really. It was too dark to see very far in front of my face. Bane had been gone for five days. Would he stay gone the entire pregnancy? Was my being here that difficult for him? I had thought he¡¯d stopped hating me. I¡¯d thought a lot of things. I seemed to always do that. Want something so bad that I convinced myself it was true. Maybe now, I¡¯d finally learned my lesson. I wasn¡¯t meant to have a ce to call home. Tore Up: Chapter 38 I sat with my elbows resting on my thighs as I stared at my brother¡¯s grave. This was the first time I¡¯de back here. I hadn¡¯t been able to bring myself before, knowing he was buried underground. It had hurt too damn much to think about. ¡°I fucked up,¡± I said aloud. ¡°And I thought I could fix it. Get my head clear. But it¡¯s not working.¡± Rolling my head around, I cracked my neck. I felt like I hadn¡¯t slept in five fucking days. ¡°Telling you I understand, that I get it, doesn¡¯t make it better either, does it?¡± I said. My eyes went to the date on the tombstone. Fuck. ¡°You¡¯ve not been gone three full months yet. Hell, you¡¯d think my fucking grief would have stopped me. I thought I hated her. But that is literally impossible.¡± A hardugh came from my chest. ¡°But again, you would know. You were ready to cause a fucking uproar in the family over her. And if that bastard hadn¡¯t shot you, I have no doubt you¡¯d have gone through with it. You would have moved her in with you.¡± Jesus. I ran my hand over my face. ¡°Dammit, Crosby, I¡¯m sorry. I know that doesn¡¯t make it better, but I don¡¯t know what else to say to you, little brother. I can¡¯t help it. I can¡¯t! And, GOD, I wanted to make it stop. I hated myself for not being able to ignore her. I fucking loathed myself for wanting her so damn bad. Every day, it just gets more intense. I¡¯m losing my shit. My damn sanity is snapping.¡± I dropped my head into my hands and let out a ragged sigh. I was talking to a grave as if it could respond. ¡°To add to my sins, she¡¯s too young. She¡¯s vulnerable. And so fucking broken, but not damaged. She should be. The shit life she¡¯s had ¡­ it would have destroyed other people. But not her. She smiles andughs. She tries so hard. She¡¯s determined to please. ¡°Fuck,¡± I groaned. ¡°She¡¯s under my skin, brother.¡± I stood up. ¡°I don¡¯t know what to do,¡± I said. ¡°She was yours. That baby is yours. You lost your life because of them. And I wanted to fucking despise her for it. Hell, I did. I loathed her existence. Until I was around her. Watched her. Got to know her. I can¡¯t fucking hate her anymore. You were killed because you had fallen in love with a girl that any man would fall in love with once he got to know her. She¡¯s worth loving. She¡¯s ¡­ impossible not to love.¡± I closed my eyes tightly and inhaled as the stabbing pain of betrayal pierced my chest. ¡°I love her, Crosby. I have fallen in love with your girl.¡± The silence of the night was my response. I was in a cemetery, talking to myself. Baring my soul to my brother¡¯s grave. It wasn¡¯t like I could admit this to anyone else. But I had to tell someone. ¡°GODDAMMIT!¡± I shouted, turning to m my fist into the tree trunk behind me. I stood there, breathing hard, trying to get a handle on my rage. ¡°When we lost you, all I could think was how it should have been me to go. I wanted more than anything to take your ce.¡± I looked back at the grave. ¡°And now, I¡¯d walk into hell and give the Devil my soul if I could bring you back for her. But I can¡¯t. It doesn¡¯t fucking work that way. I will never be you. I can¡¯t take your ce. But I want her. I just wish there were a way for you to tell me if that was okay. To let me know that you want me to be the one to take care of her. To love her. To love your son.¡± I reached up and wiped at the tears on my face that I hadn¡¯t known were there. Reaching into my pocket, I took out the ultrasound picture of my brother¡¯s son and ced it on the cold marble. I covered it with the thick-cut piece of ss I had brought with me. ¡°He looks like you. Already too damn pretty for his own good,¡± I told him, then stood back up. With onest nce, I started back toward the car. The burner phone I¡¯d taken with me so that Linc could get in touch with me rang in my pocket. Stopping, I pulled it out. ¡°Yeah?¡± I said, my voice hoarse. ¡°You need to get back,¡± Linc informed me. I wasn¡¯t ready. Especially right now. ¡°Why?¡± I asked. ¡°Because Than just called me, panicked. They can¡¯t find Halo.¡± Dread mmed into my chest as I began stalking toward my truck. ¡°What do you mean, Linc? Where was she?¡± ¡°Swimming in the pool. They were watching a game. Than went to check on her when she hadn¡¯te in yet, and she was gone.¡± ¡°DID THEY NOT CHECK THE GODDAMN PROPERTY?!¡± I roared, jerking my truck door open. ¡°Easy.¡± The threat in his tone didn¡¯t faze me. ¡°She couldn¡¯t have gotten out of the gate. What about security cameras?¡± I asked through the tight grip of fear squeezing my throat. ¡°She walked to the side of the house. Then, she went out of view.¡± ¡°I¡¯m on my way,¡± I snarled, then threw the phone into the seat beside me. Backing out of the parking lot, I nced back at my brother¡¯s grave. The guilt eating me alive had been consumed by fear. If she had walked out into the dark and gotten lost ¡­ she could be hurt. She was alone. I¡¯d left her there. No one else could take care of her like me.
I didn¡¯t stop at the house as I drove by it. I turned my headlights on low as I headed to the path that went back to the rest of the property until it stopped outside the woods. Than¡¯s Range Rover was there. Climbing out, I mmed the door and started stalking into the woods. Ransom called my name, and I turned to the left to see himing out of the thickest wooded area. ¡°She¡¯s not this way. Than went down the middle, Oz is on the east side, and Forge went on the front right side of the house.¡± They were all out here, and no one had found her yet? Fuck! My heart was hammering so hard in my chest that I could hear it. She was out here, alone somewhere. I had to find her. Moving toward the middle, which was a direct path from the backyard, I decided it was the most likely way she¡¯d have gone. She had to be okay. She fucking had to be okay. ¡°I GOT HER!¡± Than shouted. I broke into a run toward the sound of his voice. Shoving branches and scanning the darkness until I saw him. His arm was around her. She was wrapped in a towel. Ignoring him, I scooped her up into my arms. Wide eyes stared up at me. Her face was streaked with tears. The sorrow shining in them ripped at my soul. What had happened? ¡°She was sitting on a log,¡± Than said. I couldn¡¯t say anything just yet. At least not to him. To any of them. They¡¯d done something. She had been so fucking upset that she walked into the woods. ¡°You¡¯re back.¡± Her voice was raspy. ¡°I am.¡± She sighed and rested her head against my chest. ¡°I¡¯ll leave. You can stay.¡± My arms tightened around her. Like fucking hell she was going anywhere. But we¡¯d discuss thatter. Right now, I had to get her home. Oz stepped in front of me,ing from another direction, and walked toward my truck. He opened the driver¡¯s door, then nodded his head for me to go to the passenger side. I didn¡¯t argue. Letting her go wasn¡¯t something I wanted to do. When I reached the truck, Ransom opened the passenger door for us, and I climbed inside. He closed us in, and Oz headed toward the house. ¡°What happened?¡± I bit out, fucking livid with every damn one of them. ¡°Don¡¯t know,¡± he replied and nced at me. ¡°But she hasn¡¯t been eating much or saying a lot. Before you start taking swings, you might want to look in a mirror.¡± When I winced, my arms flexed, and she stared up at me. I tried to leave, little brother. This is what happened. She needs me. I pressed a kiss to her forehead, not giving one fuck about Oz seeing it. They were all gonna have to ept it. I¡¯d tried. I couldn¡¯t turn this off. He barely rolled to a stop when I swung open the door and climbed out. ¡°I can walk,¡± she said softly. ¡°No, you can¡¯t,¡± I replied. Because I needed to hold her. It was all that was keeping me calm. ¡°He¡¯d have wanted it to be you,¡± Oz called out behind me, and I stilled but didn¡¯t turn around. ¡°He wouldn¡¯t have wanted her to do this alone. He¡¯d have wanted her taken care of. And he would have wanted it to be you. If someone else got to love her, you¡¯d have been his choice.¡± My chest burned. I started walking again and didn¡¯t slow down until we were in my bedroom. I sank down with her on therge ck leather chair that sat in the corner of my room. She tried to get up, and I shook my head, not loosening my grip. I wasn¡¯t ready to talk just yet. I pressed my lips to her head again and inhaled. ¡°Bane,¡± she said. ¡°Yeah?¡± I replied, my voice thick with emotion. ¡°What are you doing?¡± The corner of my mouth twitched. Acting like a fucking psycho. ¡°Holding you.¡± She let out a shaky breath. ¡°Um, I got that. I meant, why are you holding me?¡± That was a loaded question. I wasn¡¯t sure she wanted that truth just yet. ¡°You scared me.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± I closed my eyes. Was Oz right? I wanted him to be. I really fucking wanted him to be. ¡°Why did you walk into the woods, pretty girl?¡± I asked her, moving back so I could see her face. The surprised look on her face made me smile. God, I¡¯d missed her. I brushed my thumb over her cheekbone. ¡°You not gonna tell me?¡± She licked her lips, her eyes searching my face. ¡°You called me pretty girl.¡± ¡°I did.¡± When she didn¡¯t say anything else, only staring up at me with uncertainty, I traced her lips with my finger. ¡°Talk to me.¡± She inhaled deeply. ¡°I wasn¡¯t sure. I debated back and forth, but it was real. Not just my dreams. You were in my bed.¡± ¡°You remember the other nights?¡± She nodded. ¡°Yes. But I thought I was dreaming. You called me pretty girl and sweet girl.¡± ¡°How do you feel about that? Knowing I was getting in your bed while you slept. Touching you.¡± Her chest rose and fell. ¡°I ¡­ I liked it.¡± I chuckled. ¡°You did, huh?¡± She nodded. ¡°I put my cum in your mouth. Had you suck it off my thumb.¡± She bit her bottom lip and lowered hershes. ¡°I know,¡± she replied. ¡°There was some on my stomach ¡­ and I tried some of it.¡± This was not the time for my cock to get hard, but it seemed that it didn¡¯t care. ¡°Tell me how you did that?¡± I asked, knowing we had other things to discuss, but my depraved mind needed this image. ¡°I scooped it up with my fingers and then licked it off.¡± I closed my eyes and bit back a curse. Fucking hell. ¡°Why were you in the woods?¡± I asked, opening my eyes back up to look down at her. Whatever the reason had been, she did not want to tell me. But the pain in those blue eyes wasn¡¯t eptable. She¡¯d had enough fucking pain. ¡°Please, tell me what happened.¡± ¡°Can¡¯t I just apologize and we forget it?¡±N?velDrama.Org: text ? owner. I smiled. ¡°No. Because you are hurt. It¡¯s in your eyes, and I can¡¯t take that. I want to know what happened so I can go make sure it never happens again.¡± She tried to move again, and I shook my head. ¡°Let me sit up at least,¡± she said. I liked holding her this way. Cradling her to me. But I gave in and allowed her to sit up. The towel fell down her shoulders, and her plump, full breasts¡ªwhich looked ready to fall out of her top¡ªwere right there in my line of sight. Distracting me. Chill bumps broke out on her skin, and she shivered. ¡°Cold?¡± I asked, ncing around for something close to cover her with. ¡°No,¡± she replied. My eyes went back to her face. ¡°You shivered, and you¡¯ve got goose bumps.¡± She dropped her gaze. Thick, long ckshes fanned her cheekbones. ¡°It¡¯s because of how you were looking at my breasts,¡± she said just above a whisper. This girl was going to kill me. ¡°They¡¯re real fucking tempting,¡± I told her. Her eyes shot back up to mine. ¡°You think so?¡± I nodded. She didn¡¯t need to know what all I thought. A small smile touched her face. That was all it took to get that heartbreaking look out of her eyes? Maybe I should list the rest of the parts on her that drove me crazy. ¡°Pretty girl,¡± I warned. Her eyes red. She liked me calling her that. ¡°You keep looking at me that way, and I¡¯m going to pull this excuse for a bikini top down and suck on your nipples.¡± Her mouth fell open just a little. Fuck it. I wasn¡¯t going to be able to hold myself back. I reached up with both hands and pulled the top down, freeing both tits at once. ¡°Oh!¡± she gasped. I leaned forward and licked one of her perfect, pebbled nipples as she made more sexy noises. Pulling it into my mouth, I sucked hard. Her hands went to the back of my head and held me there. ¡°Bane,¡± she moaned. ¡°Oh God, that feels good.¡± I lifted my eyes to look at her as I moved to the other breast. Her beautiful face watched me as if I were the most fascinating thing in the world. The shit I wanted to do to her. To see that look on her face. I shoved my hand into the front of her bottoms, and her head fell back. ¡°Please,¡± she pleaded, lifting her hips. ¡°Already dripping,¡± I praised. I wanted my mouth on this. Picking her up, I walked over to the bed andid her down. I started to reach up and pull off her bottoms when my eyes locked on a long, bloody scratch on her left leg. Then her feet. They were covered in dried blood. Fuck! She was hurt. I took her leg and examined it for any other wounds, then moved to the other. Furious with myself, I scooped her up and headed for the en suite. She had dirt on her feet. Her wounds could get infected. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± she asked in a shaky voice. ¡°You¡¯re hurt,¡± I told her, then set her down on the edge of the tub before going over to the walk-in shower to turn it on. When I was satisfied with the temperature, I went back to her and untied the back of the top, then pulled it off her body, dropping it to the floor. ¡°Stand up, pretty girl,¡± I told her. She did, and her small wince only made me angrier with myself. I should have considered she¡¯d been barefoot. Taking the sides of her bikini bottoms, I tugged them down her legs, and the sight of her bare mound made me want to groan. I could see her sweet juices coating the lips. I wanted to lick it so bad that my mouth was watering, but she needed to be taken care of first. I inhaled the scent of her arousal before reaching for my boots and socks to get rid of them and set them aside. I straightened back up and unzipped my jeans and shoved them down, stepping out of them. I jerked my shirt over my head, then went to pick her back up, trying not to react to the way she was looking at my body. My cock was already fully erect, and I knew she could see it. My boxer briefs did little to hide it. The damn tip was already trying toe out of the waistband. But they were a barrier of some kind and right now I needed one. If my swollen head brushed up against her I wasn¡¯t sure I could keep from grabbing her and sinking inside like a man possessed. ¡°I can walk.¡± ¡°No, you can¡¯t. Your feet are all cut up.¡± Sheid a hand on my pec. I had to get her clean. Stay focused. Mend her wounds. Then, I could eat her pussy. Tore Up: Chapter 39 Something had changed, and I was afraid to ask. He might change his mind. Bane¡¯s hands were in my hair, shampooing it. He hadthered my body and taken extra care of my feet and scratched leg. I¡¯d been turned on, emotional, and confused, watching him. I was still all of those things, but seeing his biceps bulge and flex as he massaged my head under the rain showering from the ceiling, the turned-on part was in the top spot. I had been struggling with not looking at his penis. It was big. Likeing-out-of-the-top-of-his-boxers big. But his biceps were helping with that. ¡°Close your eyes and lean your head back,¡± he told me. As much as I didn¡¯t want to miss the view, I obeyed. I wasn¡¯t sure there was a woman alive who wouldn¡¯t. ¡°Conditioner now,¡± he said. I¡¯d given up telling him I could do it myself. I had tried that when he started to wash my body, and he¡¯d said no in a blink them away as I stared at him. He wanted me. I wasn¡¯t making this up in my imagination or reading the signals wrong. He had said it. That he wanted me. He held his hand out to me, and I took it, walking to him. He wrapped the plush, huge towel around my body, then reached to get another one, which he used to dry my hair, squeezing the water from it. I stared at our reflection in the mirror. His beautifully sculpted body behind me. Dark, wet locks of his hair with water droplets fell from them and rolled down his body, making me want to run my hands through it. His eyes met mine in the mirror as he lowered his head and kissed my temple, never breaking our gaze. ¡°Let me get dried off, and I¡¯ll take care of your cuts.¡± There was a husky timbre to his voice. ¡°I think they¡¯re fine,¡± I told him. He pressed a kiss to my bare shoulder. ¡°A few need antibiotic cream and bandages.¡± Using the towel that he¡¯d dried my hair with, he began to do the same to his, then moved it down his body as I watched,pletely transfixed. When he got to his soaked boxers, he pushed them down, and I held my breath as his erection came into view. He finished drying himself. I didn¡¯t move. He had all my attention. I might have made a sound of protest when he wrapped the towel around his waist. ¡°I can¡¯t stay focused with you looking at my cock, pretty girl. And your woundse first.¡± He picked me up again, then ced me on the long ck marble countertop. His forehead touched mine, and he inhaled, saying nothing, then walked over to open a cab, where he took out first aid supplies. He took my scratched leg and ced my ankle on his shoulder while he gently applied cream to the cut, then used a couple ofrger Band-Aids to cover it. ¡°Tell me why you walked off into the woods,¡± he said, taking my ankle down and covering the deepest wounds with the cream. He wasn¡¯t going to let this go. I just didn¡¯t want to have to tell him. He wanted me. In my life, the times I had been wanted were brief. Part of me was afraid he¡¯d hear what the women had said and realize they were right. He¡¯d be reminded of who I was. The reason Crosby was dead. Then, I¡¯d lose him, and I hadn¡¯t even truly had him yet. ¡°Halo.¡± His tone was firm as he said my name. I dropped my gaze to my thighs. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to go into the great room because the sex activities had started. So, I was going to go around the side of the house and use the front door. But some other women arrived. I stayed hidden, not wanting to exin what I was doing. And they were talking.¡± I stopped. If there was a lie I could think of that would make sense, I might have used it. But there wasn¡¯t. Or I couldn¡¯t think of one. Bane lowered my leg, then picked up my other foot. ¡°And what did they say?¡± There was a tightness in his tone. If he wasn¡¯t being so unlike himself right now, I wasn¡¯t sure I could repeat it. But the tender way he was treating me made it easier. ¡°They were talking about why you were gone. How my being here is a constant reminder of Crosby,¡± I said. ¡°That you hate me. That I¡¯m a selfish bitch, a hanger-on, and I¡¯m nasty. And that you want to get rid of me, but Than won¡¯t let you because he thinks y¡¯all owe it to Crosby.¡± His hand tightened its hold on my foot. ¡°What did they look like?¡± His tone was darker. I lifted my eyes to look at him. His jaw was tight, and his shoulders were rigid. ¡°I-I don¡¯t know. I didn¡¯t look closely. I was hiding.¡± ¡°Did they say anything else?¡± he asked. ¡°Just that one of them was your favorite.¡± His eyes lifted to meet mine. ¡°Hair color? Anything? Because I have no favorite.¡± I shook my head. ¡°I¡¯d heard a car door, then voices. I never tried to see what they looked like.¡± He finished with my foot and lowered it. Then closed the space between us and cupped the side of my face with his hand. ¡°You couldn¡¯t be selfish if you tried. You¡¯re so fucking sweet that I feel guilty for the things I want to do to you,¡± he said. ¡°And it¡¯s always been me who wanted you here. Even when I thought I hated you, I wanted you here.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± The one word came out like a sigh. ¡°And I lied just now. Because I do in fact have a favorite, pretty girl. You¡¯ve taken that role.¡± His eyes studied my mouth for several seconds, and then he muttered a curse before lowering his lips to mine. Bane¡¯s body might be solid and hard. His hands might be callous. But the man¡¯s lips were soft as he moved them over mine. His tongue plunged inside the moment I opened for him, and he groaned. I grabbed on to his shoulders, pressing myself closer to him. My heart was hammering in my chest, and every nerve in my body felt as if it were humming with pleasure. The towel wrapped around me fell away, and a warm,rge hand covered a breast, squeezing it. I ran my fingers into his damp hair. I¡¯d never been kissed like this. It was dizzying. His lips were gone, and I started to grab him and pull him back when I was lifted off the counter. I wrapped my legs around him, pressing another kiss to his lips as he walked us back into the bedroom. He pulled back and looked at me. ¡°Those are the sweetest fucking lips,¡± he said. ¡°But there¡¯s another ce I need to taste.¡± When he dropped me onto the bed, I bounced once while he went to his knees and took my legs,ying them over his shoulders. Sucking in a breath, I held it as he pressed his mouth against my clit. ¡°Oh God,¡± I breathed. The long swipe of his tongue was followed by another. He began to lick me like he couldn¡¯t get enough. Deep sounds were vibrating in his chest. ¡°Bane,¡± I cried out, grabbing the back of his head and lifting my hips. ¡°Mmm, that¡¯s it,¡± he murmured. ¡°Fuck my face, sweet girl.¡± My head fell back, and I moaned. The pleasure was too much. I felt like I was going to explode. I pulled at his hair, chanting his name. It was there. The spiral was tickling me, and then it grabbed me, tossing me into bliss that hade from Bane Cash¡¯s tongue. I was stilling down from the best orgasm of my life when Bane moved me to the center of the bed and climbed over me. His towel was gone, and the intimidating erection was right there. That was most likely going to hurt, but I didn¡¯t care. I wanted it. I lifted my hips. ¡°Please, Bane,¡± I pleaded. He hissed as he stared down at my open legs. ¡°Fuck.¡± A fierce expression came over him, and he looked as if he was battling something. Was he going to decide that he couldn¡¯t do this? I stilled, watching him. His jaw worked back and forth, and then he cursed again, moving off me. I was going to cry. He had changed his mind. He jerked open a drawer and pulled out a square silver packet. A condom. ¡°Oh, thank God,¡± I breathed, relieved. He moved back to me as he tore open the packet. ¡°What are you thanking God for, pretty girl?¡± I loved when he called me that. ¡°I thought you had changed your mind.¡± He shook his head. ¡°No. I just wanted to sink my dick into your hot little cunt bare. Feel you. Shoot my load into you. Have you leaking with me.¡± I wanted that now. I trembled with anticipation. He ran his fingertip down my chest. ¡°But I need to get checked. I¡¯ve got to keep you safe,¡± he said, then held himself over me as he brushed the head of his penis against me. ¡°Fuck, I want to feel that coating my dick.¡± ¡°Yes,¡± I agreed. He lowered his hips, sinking into me, stretching me slowly. ¡°I¡¯ll get checked,¡± he said. ¡°Then, I¡¯ll keep this needy cunt full of my cum.¡± His body was rigid as he pushed into me. ¡°Jesus, pretty girl,¡± he groaned. ¡°That¡¯s tight.¡± I whimpered as he went deeper and then stilled. ¡°Am I hurting you?¡± ¡°No. Please, I want all of it,¡± I panted. His eyes red with heat, and then he snarled as he pushed into me fully. ¡°FUUUUCK!¡± That was a burning stretch, yet I¡¯d never felt anything so wonderful. ¡°Goddamn,¡± he swore. ¡°You sure you¡¯re okay?¡± ¡°Yes, it feels amazing,¡± I breathed. ¡°Ah, baby. Don¡¯t make me snap. I¡¯m holding on by a thread.¡± I wanted that. Whatever it meant. Lifting my hips, I bit my bottom lip and stared up at him. His eyes darkened, and then he began to slide out. When he mmed back into me, I screamed his name. ¡°That it? Is that what you¡¯re begging for?¡± ¡°Yes!¡± With a steady rock of his hips, he thrust into me over and over. Our eyes stayed locked together. His topaz gaze darkened as he looked at me as if I was all that mattered in this world. There was no one or nothing else. His name tore from my lips again as my body shuddered and my orgasm rushed through me. He drove deeper into me, chasing his own pleasure. His shoulders, arms, and even his neck were flexed. I was sure the sight of Bane Cash like this was the most beautiful thing in the world. ¡°FUCK!¡± he shouted, and his body jerked. I had seen his face when he got off before, but never like this. With his eyes unable to look away from me. All the emotion raging through his expression, melting me with its breathtaking ferocity. He dropped his head to the curve of my neck, and his deep breaths warmed my skin as his racing heart slowed. ¡°That was ¡­¡± he said hoarsely. ¡°I¡¯ve never done that.¡± Um, I knew for a fact that he¡¯d had sex before. Iughed softly. He lifted his head, and those eyes stared down at me again. I wanted to keep him here. On top of me like this. I felt safe, protected, wanted. I hadn¡¯t known anything could feel this way. The corner of his lips tugged up. ¡°Now, what about that was funny?¡± Reaching up, I brushed some of his messy hair from his forehead. ¡°You saying you¡¯d never done that before.¡± He frowned. ¡°I haven¡¯t.¡± I grinned again. ¡°Halo, I have never had sex face-to-face. I have never looked into a woman¡¯s eyes while I was buried inside her. I¡¯ve never wanted to. But with you, I couldn¡¯t look at anything else.¡± His voice trailed off with a raspy tone. It had been special for him too. That hadn¡¯t all been in my head, my wish for it to be more. He had felt it. Not just me. He started to pull out of me, and I grabbed his biceps. ¡°Not yet,¡± I said. ¡°I like this.¡± A deep chuckle came from him, and then he pressed a kiss to my lips. ¡°Let me just get the condom off, pretty girl. I want to hold you close with my cock bare against your perfect, plump ass.¡± Okay, yes. When he put it that way ¡­ I released him. The sexy, warm gleam in his eyes as he moved to his knees soaked into my heart. It pounded a little harder. Stretched a little bigger. Wanting to finally let someone in. Tore Up: Chapter 40 If I stayed in here, I was going to wake her up and fuck her. I¡¯d barely held her in my armsst night, and she¡¯d fallen asleep quickly. Her hands wrapped around my arms as if she needed to hold on to me to keep me there. The raw ache in my chest morphed into a deep-rooted torment. Tremors ran through me as I let everything I¡¯d done to her rey in my head. It had been hours before I could go to sleep. I kissed her head, whispered things to her, caressed her arm and face. That was the only way I got through the anguish I had brought upon myself. After a night of sleeping like this, giving in to what I wanted and knew I wasn¡¯t going to be able to live without. I wanted to be buried inside her again. But my pretty girl needed her rest. Getting up, I pulled on a pair of sweats and quietly left the room. It wasn¡¯t early. That was thetest I had slept in, in years. I heard voices in the kitchen, and although I didn¡¯t want to deal with them this morning, I knew it had to be done. Might as well get it over with now while she was sleeping. I ran a hand through my hair with a silent sigh of annoyance of what was toe, then entered the bright, entirely-too-full kitchen. Did every one of the fuckers have to eat breakfast at the same time today? ¡°Mornin¡¯,¡± Oz said from his seat at the bar. I met his gaze, and he simply nodded once. He wouldn¡¯t say any more. It was one of the reasons he was my best friend. We understood each other. Talking about shit wasn¡¯t required. The others went silent. I walked to the coffee machine and got a mug down from the cab. If they wanted to stare at me and wait on me to tell them what had happenedst night, then they could do just that. It wasn¡¯t like I wanted to exin this to them. It wasn¡¯t anyone¡¯s goddamn business. ¡°You¡¯re back then,¡± Ransom asked. Leave it to him to speak up. ¡°Yeah,¡± I replied as my coffee gurgled from the machine and filled my cup. ¡°You¡¯re gonna hurt her,¡± Than said, not masking his anger. Gripping my cup, I turned to look at him. His body was tense as he red at me like he wanted to put his fist in my face. He wouldn¡¯t because he wasn¡¯t that stupid. His protectiveness with her had still better be because of Crosby. If he was feeling shit, then he was going to need more than his brother to keep him safe. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Than. I don¡¯t recall asking for your opinion,¡± I drawled, then took a drink. ¡°She¡¯s fragile, you bas¡ª¡± ¡°WHAT he is saying,¡± Ransom cut him off, ring at his brother, as if that was going to shut him up, ¡°is that we all are concerned about her. She¡¯s grown on us. It¡¯s not just about her being Crosby¡¯s baby momma anymore. We care about her.¡± The muscle in my jaw ted as I stood there, deciding if I could take on all of them. ¡°I was the one who had to go to her bedroom at night when she woke up, screaming, and you weren¡¯t here,¡± Than said, pointing at his chest. ¡°And I heard her. I sat on that goddamn floor and heard whose name she called out when she whimpered.¡± He took a deep breath and gritted his teeth. ¡°And it wasn¡¯t Crosby¡¯s.¡± I stared back at him, some of my rage draining. Was he saying she¡¯d been calling out to me in her sleep? While I was gone? Fuck, how did a chest hurt so much and yet feel so damn full at the same time? ¡°Like I saidst night ¡­¡± Oz said. My eyes swung to him. I hadn¡¯t expected him to say anything. ¡°He¡¯d have wanted it to be you.¡± I took a deep breath. ¡°I tried not to,¡± I finally said. ¡°But it happened, and I couldn¡¯t stop it. She ¡­¡± I paused, not sure how to say this correctly. There was so much to what I felt about her and the reasons why I shouldn¡¯t feel them, but afterst night, I knew I¡¯d never be able to let her go. I fucking hoped Oz was right. ¡°She¡¯s the most important person in my life now. I can¡¯t decide if that¡¯s okay or not. There is a fucking war in my head. But when I¡¯m holding her¡±¡ªI shrugged¡ª¡°nothing else matters. It is all eased.¡± I hadn¡¯t nned on saying any of this to them. It had juste out. Maybe it was a good thing. They all needed to understand where I stood. That she was mine. Than let out a heavy sigh. ¡°Well, all right then. If that¡¯s how it is, I can live with it. Oz is right. This is what Crosby would have wanted. If he can¡¯t be here with her and his son, then he¡¯d have wanted you to take his ce.¡± There was no jealousy in his tone. His expression wasn¡¯t one of a man who¡¯d lost something he wanted. Somehow, he¡¯d been there for her, gotten close to her, and not fallen in love. I didn¡¯t know how the hell he¡¯d managed it. He had seen her as Crosby¡¯s. Someone to protect. Nothing more. I hadn¡¯t been able to do the same. Every time she looked at me, I swore she had taken another piece of my soul until she imed me entirely. I had wanted her to be the cause of everything that had happened. I¡¯d wanted her to be a fucking gold digger. I had wanted her not to be as perfect on the inside as she was on the outside. Because I had feared this would be the result. Strange how what I¡¯d been so fucking scared of was what brought me back from the edge. She¡¯d given me a reason to live again. ¡°Since that¡¯s all settled,¡± Forge said, speaking up from his te of pancakes, which he¡¯d been eating during all this, ¡°when do you think Saylor is gonna be over her drama? I¡¯m ready to stop having to split up and choose houses like a bunch of kids from divorced parents. Besides, our pool is better here.¡± When no one said anything but stared at him, he threw up his hands. ¡°What? I¡¯m just saying if Bane can get over the fact that he¡¯s in love with Crosby¡¯s baby momma, then Saylor can get over the fact that Crosby has a baby momma.¡± Oz pushed his stool out and stood up. His eyes swung to mine, and he rolled them. The corner of my lips quirked.N?velDrama.Org: text ? owner. It was okay. They¡¯d all epted it. I hope that means you are okay with it too, little brother. Because she owns me. Tore Up: Chapter 41 When my eyes opened, I smelled him, although the warmth of his body was gone. I stared straight ahead at the window as little insecurities and fears began to inch their way into my thoughts. Had he changed his mind? Hadst night been a mistake? The shift of the bed and his warm body moving close to me under the nkets had me clutching for his arm in relief as it came around me. He was still here. It was okay. His lips brushed my shoulder. ¡°You okay this morning, pretty girl? You¡¯ve got ahold of my arm like you need to be saved from a sinking boat.¡± Underneath the teasing tone was concern. He wasn¡¯t sure if he should be worried or not. I pressed my mouth to his arm and rubbed my cheek over it. ¡°I¡¯m good.¡± Bane rolled me onto my back, and his searching gaze stared down at me as if he needed to see for himself. He ran the pad of his thumb over my bottom lip, then trailed a fingertip along the ridge of my nose. ¡°I love these fucking freckles,¡± he murmured. I didn¡¯t want to move or say anything. Watching him explore my face with that admiring gleam in his eyes, as if he thought I was beautiful, wedged out my nagging insecurities that I feared would always be a part of who I was. His fingertip brushed my jawline, then made its way beneath my chin. He paused as a pained glint shed in his eyes. I realized I was holding my breath when he began to gently stroke a line back and forth across my neck. When he swallowed hard, I could see his throat constrict. ¡°I was eaten up with grief,¡± he said just above a whisper. ¡°Tormented with his death. I¡¯d always been the darker one. The brother with more than his fair share of demons. But losing him, it sent me to a ce mentally I¡¯d never been before.¡± His eyes lifted to meet mine. ¡°Even then, I don¡¯t know how I was able to hurt this skin.¡± He lowered his head and peppered kisses where his knife had once been. Tears burned my eyes, and I closed them tightly while sighing at the sweetness of what he was doing. ¡°I would rip a man¡¯s heart out for doing to you the things I¡¯ve done,¡± he said in a hoarse voice. ¡°I was broken. That¡¯s my only excuse. So fucking destroyed that I didn¡¯t think I would ever find myself out of the hell I was in.¡± I sank my fingers into his hair, and he buried his face into the curve of my neck. We stayed like that for several moments. Saying nothing. Listening to each other¡¯s hearts beat. If he was looking for forgiveness, then there was no point. I¡¯d forgiven this man without even realizing it weeks ago. ¡°Thank you,¡± he said as he lifted his head and stared down at me. ¡°For what?¡± I asked, wishing I could say something to make that wounded look in his eyes go away. He bent his head and kissed the tip of my nose. ¡°For epting me, wanting me, when I am not worthy of either.¡± I reached up, taking his face in both my hands. ¡°Don¡¯t say that,¡± I told him. ¡°You might be dark and slightly terrifying at times, but you¡¯re also loyal, strong, and kind.¡± His lips curled up, and then he let out a smallugh. ¡°Pretty girl, no one has ever called me kind.¡± I moved my fingers over his face, loving the way his short beard felt under my palms. ¡°The way you took care of mest night? That was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me. The only person I can ever remember even giving me a Band-Aid was a teacher. You are kind.¡± He turned his head so that his lips were underneath my palm. A wicked gleam in his eyes made me shiver. His tongue flicked over my palm, and then he turned his face back toward me. ¡°I¡¯m gonna have to be honest with you, pretty girl. I¡¯m an asshole. Only you get that gentle and sweet shit from me. It¡¯s not something I¡¯m known for.¡± I smiled as ¡­ happiness¡ªreal joy¡ªrushed over me. Mending broken parts, healing wounds, and slowly piecing me back together. ¡°I¡¯m d this is your room,¡± I told him. His eyebrows drew together. ¡°Why is that?¡± I licked my bottom lip and nced at his door. ¡°Because that night, when I realized I wasn¡¯t dreaming and you were in my bed, I hade downstairs earlier during the party and the room down the hall had a topless blonde walking out of it. I went to bed wondering if it had been your room she had been in.¡± A sexy smirk curled his lips. ¡°Not mine, seems, I had reached the point where I was no longer interested in anyone else. Instead, I counted down the hours until you¡¯d be asleep and I could sneak into your room and hold you in my arms.¡±
The next morning, when I walked into the kitchen with my hand in Bane¡¯s, I was self-conscious. We¡¯d not left his room yesterday¡ªor I hadn¡¯t left his room. He went to get food for us, but other than that, we watched a movie in bed and took a bubble bath together. Every time I¡¯d tried to walk, he would scoop me up like a child and carry me around. He was determined I needed to stay off my feet and give the cuts time to heal. The damage I¡¯d done to my feet was not bad. I felt like it was his excuse to keep me to himself. I hadn¡¯t been ready to let the rest of the world in either, and I enjoyed our little bubble. However, today, we¡¯d had to escape the sanctuary of his room. ¡°Oh, thank fuck. I was beginning to think one of us needed to break down the door to make sure you were okay in there and Bane didn¡¯t have you chained to the bed,¡± Than drawled with a teasing glint in his eyes as he looked over at me. Bane¡¯s hand tightened on mine, and his shoulders tensed. I had to defuse this before he got all snarly. The guys were going to say things. I¡¯d prepared myself for that. ¡°If he had chained me to the bed, I¡¯d have been more than okay with it. In fact, I¡¯m positive I¡¯d have enjoyed it,¡± I replied. Oz looked up from his phone at me, and Forge began to choke on whatever he was eating. Bane tugged me against him and put his arm around my shoulders, then kissed the top of my head. The tension was now gone from his body. I sank into him, happy I had handled that so well. ¡°Guess that clears up shit,¡± Oz replied with a smirk as he went back to his phone. ¡°Jesus, give a man a warning,¡± Forge said, still sounding strangled. ¡°I had a mouth full of bacon.¡± Than looked pleased. Knowing this wasn¡¯t going to be an issue with him gave me some relief I hadn¡¯t known I needed. He¡¯d been Crosby¡¯s best friend after all. I¡¯d worried he might not take this well. My sleeping in Bane¡¯s bed and having a rtionship with him. But that didn¡¯t seem to be the case. ¡°You¡¯re dressed.¡± Than pointed with the hand holding his coffee cup. ¡°Ready to head back to the distillery with me again?¡± ¡°No.¡± Bane¡¯s firm response was immediate. I turned to look up at him, but he didn¡¯t meet my gaze. Instead, he led me over to a stool and pulled it out for me to sit. ¡°She gets bored here all day,¡± Than told him.Published by N?v''elD/rama.Org. Feeling like I needed to speak up, too, or he¡¯d have me locked away in this house, where he could keep me safe from all things, I said, ¡°I like working. It gives me something to do.¡± ¡°See,¡± Than added. ¡°She wants to go.¡± Bane looked down at me finally. ¡°Don¡¯t you like the horses? Going to the stables? Wouldn¡¯t you enjoy helping me there? You could feed and brush Slingshot.¡± Was he serious? My eyes widened. He wanted me to go with him? To the stables all day?! ¡°Yes!¡± I eximed. His pleased grin turned into a smirk as he ced his hand on my shoulder. ¡°Seems she¡¯s got a new job.¡± His tone was smug. As if he¡¯d just won a contest and I was the prize. ¡°Fine. Go and steal my help,¡± Than replied. I felt a twinge of guilt then and looked over at him, only to see he was grinning over his cup at me. He wasn¡¯t upset. Not that I would change my mind if he had been. But I would have felt bad about it. If there was a choice, Bane was always going to win. Tore Up: Chapter 42 ¡°That¡¯s a good boy,¡± I cooed as Slingshot nuzzled his head against my hand. I had missed him yesterday, although I could relive that day over and over again. Seeing my baby boy again and how much he¡¯d grown had been wonderful. Listening to Bane chuckle as we watched him kick and move around like he couldn¡¯t wait to be set loose was a memory I¡¯d never forget. Grissele had been surprised when Bane told her that we would pick her up and there was no need for her driver. Although we had been together for the past four weeks, it wasn¡¯t something I¡¯d discussed with her. I¡¯d been waiting on Bane to do that. She was curious, watching us during the drive, and when Bane took my hand when we walked into the doctor¡¯s office, her eyebrows shot up, but she didn¡¯t say a word about it. Having Grisseleughing and crying while Bane held my hand, squeezing it tightly in both of his during my ultrasound, had made me feel even more emotional than I already had been. That baby boy was more loved than I¡¯d ever been, and the joy that brought me was overwhelming. When that first pregnancy test hade back positive, all I could think was, I was bringing a child into this world that would only have me. I didn¡¯t know if I trusted Crosby to stick around. I didn¡¯t know what to think. But I had wanted to give my child all I had never had, and at that moment, I had known the one thing that was certain was that the baby would be loved by me. This was so much more. He had a family. ¡°Halo!¡± Grissele¡¯s voice called out. I turned around to see her walking toward me, looking like a fashion model. She always managed to look so perfectly put together. Nothing was ever out of ce. ¡°Hey,¡± I replied. I hadn¡¯t expected to see her again today. She nced over at Slingshot with a soft smile, then back at me. ¡°He is a beauty. A wonderful choice for your first thoroughbred,¡± she said. My first? Slingshot wasn¡¯t mine. Maybe she meant my first one to take care of. ¡°I brought you something,¡± she said, holding out a light-blue gift bag. ¡°I ¡­¡± She paused, and there was a shadow of sadness that passed her expression before her smile brightened. ¡°I thought you might like to have this.¡± I opened the bag, and there were two things inside. When I picked up the framed photograph that was on top, my chest felt like it might explode as my eyes began to prickle. It was a picture she must have taken yesterday during the ultrasound. Bane stood beside me, holding my hand. I was looking up at him, smiling with tears in my eyes, as he gazed down at me. There were so many things this moment said that it was hard to express in words. ¡°Thank you,¡± I whispered, sucking in a breath and smiling as I tried not to cry. She reached out and squeezed my arm, but said nothing. It was clear she was trying not to cry too. When she hadn¡¯t mentioned us being together yesterday and Bane not even leaving the room when I changed out of my clothes and into the hospital gown, I¡¯d worried she was bothered by our rtionship. This was my confirmation that she was okay with it. She¡¯d epted it. I reached into the bag and pulled out a soft blue quilt with the word Cash embroidered on it in silver thread. ¡°That was Bane¡¯s baby nket,¡± she said, and then her smile got a little wobbly. ¡°And Crosby¡¯s. They both came home from the hospital wrapped in it. I thought perhaps you¡¯d want it. The baby would have something that once belonged to his father and also to the man who is going to be his dad.¡± Her voice cracked on thest word. The tears I had been fighting back broke free, and I let out a sob as I held the nket against my chest. Grissele reached up and wiped at her own tears as she sniffled, thenughed. ¡°This is¡ª¡± I got choked on my words and had to take a moment. ¡°This is beautiful. It¡¯s perfect. Thank you. He¡¯lle home wrapped in it too.¡± I hadn¡¯t let myself worry about the future. Bane¡¯s actions. The way he looked at me. I felt loved. Cherished. Adored. But he never said he loved me. I never said it to him either. But not because I didn¡¯t love him. I loved Bane so much that my heart felt as if it were going to burst with it most of the time. The way he spoke was as if he would be there for my son and me, and it was him I saw by my side as I raised the little boy that I¡¯d created with his brother. I wanted more than anything for Grissele¡¯s words to be true. For Bane to be his dad. But I also knew not to hope for too much. To be thankful for every day I had and every moment I spent with Bane. Grissele took a tissue from her purse and handed it to me, then took one for herself and dotted beneath her eyes as she smiled. ¡°Whew,¡± she said. ¡°I seem to be doing this a lottely.¡± I dried my face and slipped the tissue into the pocket on my leggings. ¡°Um,¡± she said, looking at me with uncertainty in her eyes, ¡°can I hug you?¡± I nodded, not so sure I wasn¡¯t about to cry again. Grissele closed the distance between us, and her slender arms wrapped around me. She smelled of wealth and sophistication, which was probably from a very expensive bottle of perfume. ¡°Thank you,¡± she said. ¡°For saving him too.¡± I wasn¡¯t sure who she was talking about. Who had I saved? When she pulled back and looked at me, she seemed to understand my confusion. ¡°Bane. You saved Bane. He was on a destructive path, and I feared I would lose him too. But you brought him back. You were more powerful than all his pain.¡± She touched my cheek, then stepped back. ¡°Well, now that I have made us both cry and had my emotional outburst for the day, I will leave you to it,¡± she said, grinning. I held up the gifts. ¡°Thank you.¡± She nodded her head once, then turned and walked back toward the stables. Slingshot nudged my arm, and I turned back to him to give the needy fe my attention. ¡°I need to go put these things away. Then, I will be right back. It¡¯s almost time for you to get brushed down and fed,¡± I told him. He nodded his head, although it was just to get me to keep rubbing him, not because he was agreeing with me. Although he was smart. So, maybe he was agreeing with me. I gave him onest pat, then ced the items back in my bag and headed toward the right side of the buildings. Bane had his own office here, which he was in very little. We ate lunch in there together¡ªamong other things. So far, we¡¯d had sex on his desk, the sofa, against the wall, and on the floor. Several times each. When I reached it, I went inside and put the bag down on the sofa before turning to leave. It was still another hour before he¡¯d seek me out for lunch. I stepped out of the office and almost ran straight into Adalee. ¡°Oh!¡± I said, startled, then smiled. She wasn¡¯t a fan of mine. Okay, that was putting it nicely. She hated my existence. When Bane was around, she was syrupy sweet to me. When Bane wasn¡¯t around, she had me do things, like shovel out stalls, run to get her supplies from the storage room, make her coffee. I did it all not because she was my boss¡ªbecause she wasn¡¯t. I had thought I could get her to like me. She was the only thing abouting to the stables that was unpleasant. I was trying to melt the ice around her with kindness. It wasn¡¯t working. ¡°Are you seriously in there, resting? And you just left the foal in the round pen? Do I have to do your jobs too? I¡¯ve already got enough of a load on me. If you¡¯re just going to cause me more work, then why don¡¯t you stay home? You can lie around and mooch off Bane all day that way,¡± she snapped at me angrily. Then pointed toward the stalls. ¡°Now, go get the foal and put him in with his mother! You barely look pregnant. Stop acting like you need special privileges.¡± She was in a temper today. I could handle this and her. I¡¯d been raised by Iris. This was nothing new to me. ¡°Yes, of course,¡± I replied, knowing there was no reason to tell this woman that I¡¯d had to put away a gift Grissele had brought me and that I was not resting. She¡¯d then go on a rant about me taking things from the Cashes and how I was manipting Grissele. I¡¯d heard that one already from her. It seemed the more I didn¡¯t react to her, the worse she got. As if she wanted me to snap back at her. Tell her no. Tell her to back off or that she wasn¡¯t my boss. I wasn¡¯t giving her that satisfaction. She could see that I was a nice person and get over her jealousy with Bane or keep this up. Her heels clicked on the hardwood floor as she followed behind me. I guessed she was going to make sure I did as I had been told. Rolling my eyes, I kept going, not looking back at her. Just before I reached the massive arched doorway that led out to the pastures, her hand mmed against my back, causing me to stumble forward. Thankfully, I kept my bnce and didn¡¯t fall on my stomach. ¡°Could you at least try and walk faster?!¡± she spat out. I wrapped my arms around my stomach, my heart racing from the physical attack that I had not seening. She¡¯d been verbal, but never done something like this. As if she wanted to hurt me. ¡°I said, MOVE!¡± She shoved me again. I hadn¡¯t been prepared for it, and this time, I fell forward. On instinct, my arms shot out, and I caught myself, hitting my knees so that my stomach wasn¡¯t impacted. ¡°Get u¡ª¡± Her harsh words were cut off, and I started to get up in a panic to get some distance from her. ncing back though, I froze. Grissele was behind Adalee with a gun pressed against her head. I didn¡¯t move. I wasn¡¯t sure I was breathing. ¡°MOM!¡± I heard Bane shout from the parking-lot side of the stables. I swung my gaze to see where he was and saw him running through the long, wide center of the main building. ¡°This is what¡¯s going to happen, you nasty bitch,¡± Grissele said in a cold tone that startled me. It sounded nothing like the woman I had gotten to know. ¡°You are going to get your things. Hand in your keys. Walk out of this ce and never fucking return. You will get nost paycheck. If you even think about suing for any reason, I will find you, and you won¡¯t walk away. This is your one and only warning.¡± ¡°Jesus Christ, Mom! What the fuck?¡± Bane asked as he reached us. He didn¡¯t stop at the two of them, but came to stand in front of me, reaching back to wrap an arm around my body, like he was protecting me. It was sweet and all, but he was a littlete. His mother had morphed into a badass and beaten him to it. ¡°I¡¯m firing this one,¡± his mother told him. ¡°Bane,¡± Adalee whimpered. ¡°Uh-uh-uh,¡± Grissele said. ¡°Don¡¯t try that. He doesn¡¯t know what I overheard and witnessed. He won¡¯t being to your rescue. He might break your damn neck.¡± Bane tensed up, his hand gripping my hip. ¡°What did she do?¡± he asked, his voice lowering. ¡°Let¡¯s see. Where to start? She used Halo of beingzy, taking advantage of you, being in the way here, then ordered her to get outside and put up Slingshot. I was going to fire her in a less dramatic way at that moment, but then the crazy bitch pushed Halo. When Halo caught herself, I eased my hand off the gun just barely because she shoved her again, and this time, Halo fell to the ground.¡± Bane shot over to Adalee so fast that I gasped, stepping back. His hands went to her throat. ¡°YOU FUCKING BITCH!¡± he roared. ¡°It¡¯s okay, son. Halonded on her hands and knees. She¡¯s fine. No need to kill this one. But she does need to get off the property within ten minutes. Now, let go of her throat before she chokes to death and we have an unwanted mess to clean up.¡± Grissele¡¯s tone was so calm that I almostughed in horror. Bane shook Adalee, then released her neck. She was trying to suck in air but was struggling. Grissele took the gun and opened her purse to slide it inside. Her gaze met mine then, and her face softened. ¡°Are you okay?¡± she asked gently. I managed a nod. ¡°I am sorry about all this,¡± she said. Bane was stalking back to me, his re on Adalee. He pointed at the stables. ¡°Get your shit! The clock is ticking.¡± Then, his arms wrapped around me, and he pulled me to his chest, kissing the top of my head. ¡°You take care of our girl. I¡¯ll make sure this one clears out quickly,¡± Grissele told him. My face was buried in Bane¡¯s chest, and I couldn¡¯t see the other two as they left, but I heard both sets of their heels as they walked away. ¡°Fucking hell, baby. What happened?¡± he asked, running his hands over my arms and stepping back to see if he could find anything on me that was harmed. ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I replied. ¡°She¡¯d never been physical before. Today, things just escted.¡± He was studying my dirty, scraped hands and dusting them off when his eyes shot back up to my face. ¡°Escted? Meaning she did something to you before today?¡± ¡°Just verbally. She¡¯s not very fond of me.¡± His eyes narrowed. ¡°What do you mean by verbally?¡± I sighed, figuring she¡¯d been fired now so this wasn¡¯t me telling on her because I couldn¡¯t handle it myself. ¡°She would say nasty, hurtful things, make me shovel out stalls when you were gone, get her coffee, other chores.¡± He lowered my hands. ¡°Make you?¡± I shrugged. ¡°Well, I mean, she told me to. I did it. I was trying to win her over. She¡¯s a tough nut to crack. Clearly, I failed.¡± Bane turned and started stalking toward the stables. Then, his hand reached back, and he pulled a gun from beneath his shirt. What the heck?! What was with these people and their guns? ¡°Bane!¡± I shouted and started running after him. He didn¡¯t slow down; in fact, his long strides got more determined. ¡°Where is the bitch?!¡± he roared as he walked into the stables. ¡°Oh, are we not through yet?¡± Grissele asked calmly. Holy crap! They were all deranged. Nothing about what I had just told him warranted being shot. ¡°BANE, PLEASE!¡± I cried out loudly. He finally stopped and turned back to me. The fury zing in his eyes was unsettling. ¡°Don¡¯t do this. Put it away. She is leaving. I am fine. She did nothing to me that I¡¯d not dealt with before. I was raised by¡ª¡± ¡°That¡¯s not helping, pretty girl,¡± he warned. ¡°You start telling me you were mistreated right under my goddamn nose, and I will have to kill someone.¡± Dang. Not what I¡¯d been trying to do. I held up both hands. ¡°I¡¯m not. I wasn¡¯t. I love working here.¡± His chest was heaving as he stared at me. The gun hanging by his side. Adalee stepped out of the office with her leather satchel over her shoulder. At some point, Grissele had retrieved her gun from her purse, and she had it pointed at the woman again. ¡°Not just yet. We might not be done here,¡± she told Adalee. ¡°Please, Bane. Please,¡± I pleaded. ¡°Let her go. I am begging you.¡± If he shot that woman for me, I¡¯d never forgive myself. He red at Adalee. ¡°Come here,¡± he ordered. She looked sick. Like she might throw up at any moment. I was right there with her. ¡°Bane, if you shoot her, I will me myself. Forever.¡± His eyes met mine, and his nostrils red. He shoved her hard, and she fell down, much the same way I had. ¡°Get on your fucking knees, bitch,¡± he snarled. She scrambled to her knees as she began to sob. ¡°Bane,¡± I begged. Why wasn¡¯t Grissele helping me? Surely, she saw how wrong this was. ¡°Apologize to her,¡± he ordered. Adalee looked at him, and he pointed the gun at her head. ¡°Not me! Look at Halo and fucking apologize.¡± She turned to me, fear taking over any other emotion in her eyes. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°Not good enough!¡± he barked. I looked at Grissele, silently pleading for her help. She shrugged. ¡°I agree. She can do better than that. It was weak.¡± And to think I had decided that Crosby had taken after his mother and Bane had more of his father in him. Seemed I hadn¡¯t known this about Grissele. ¡°I am sorry,¡± she wailed this time. I looked down at her. ¡°Okay, it¡¯s fine.¡± ¡°NO, the fuck it is not. Stay your ass on the ground. Now, tell her that you are sorry for every fucking word you spoke to her. For everything you made her do. Tell her that she is the most beautiful woman you¡¯ve ever seen and you are jealous of her. You want what she has. You want to be like her. That you wish your smile lit up a goddamn room the way hers does.¡± The flicker in Adalee¡¯s eyes almost looked as if she¡¯d rather him pull that trigger. I wasn¡¯t going to let that happen if I could help it. ¡°That¡¯s not necessary,¡± I told him. ¡°Yeah, it is, pretty girl. I need to hear it. I need her to say it. Because if she doesn¡¯t, I can¡¯t promise you I¡¯m gonna be able to put this gun away.¡± She let out a sob, then began, ¡°I¡¯m sorry for everything I said to you and the things I asked you to do¡ª¡± ¡°MADE! Don¡¯t paraphrase my fucking words,¡± Bane growled. ¡°Made. Made you do. And you¡¯re the most beautiful girl I¡¯ve ever seen, and I¡¯m jealous of you. I want what you have. I want to be like you.¡± She stopped, sobbing again. ¡°FINISH IT!¡± Bane shouted. She was shaking as she forced herself to look back at me. ¡°I wish my smile lit up the room the way yours does.¡± Grissele finally stepped forward and ced a hand on Bane¡¯s arm, pushing it down until he lowered the gun. ¡°We don¡¯t need to make her take the Lord¡¯s name in vain. Might as well not add to her sins,¡± she said gently. ¡°Please, can she go now?¡± I asked him. He nodded his head once, his eyes not leaving mine. She scrambled to get up, not making eye contact with anyone. We all stood there as she hurried toward the exit until Grissele turned to follow her, making sure she left. ¡°That was ¡­ a lot,¡± I said, not having the exact words for what had just happened. ¡°She deserved much worse.¡± ¡°No, she did not,¡± I replied, worried he was going to do something more. He slipped his gun back into its holster and walked toward me. ¡°She knew who she worked for. She¡¯d signed the NDA. She knew how we handle business,¡± he told me. ¡°It was just some mean-girl bullying,¡± I said, shaking my head in exasperation. He gripped my chin, and his eyes bored into me. ¡°No, pretty girl, it wasn¡¯t. It was disrespecting and abusing the woman I love. That¡¯s a fucking death sentence.¡± I blinked. There was so much wrong with that way of thinking, but none of it mattered. Not now. Not when he¡¯d just said he loved me. I swallowed the lump rising in my throat. ¡°You love me.¡± My words came out breathlessly. Deep down, I¡¯d thought he did, but I had been so wired to believe that I imagined things I wanted to be true. I had been scared maybe he didn¡¯t love me. Maybe it was just deep affection. His lips slowly curled into a sexy smile. ¡°Come on, sweet girl. Did you really not know that?¡± I let out a shaky breath. ¡°I ¡­ I thought you did¡ªor I hoped you did. But you hadn¡¯t said it.¡±N?velDrama.Org: text ? owner. His eyebrows lifted slightly. ¡°Ever think I was waiting on you? Maybe I wanted to be sure your heart had room for me too.¡± He caressed my face. ¡°You loved my brother. My finding you, falling hard for you¡ªthere was no one else for me. Hell, I had never been in love. You are the first and only. I was waiting until you were ready to hear it.¡± I hadn¡¯t loved Crosby. I¡¯d cared about him. I had needed the attention he gave me. I did love him as the father of this child he¡¯d given me. But what I felt for Bane far exceeded anything I¡¯d felt for his brother. I wasn¡¯t sure I could say that though. Maybe he needed to believe his brother had been loved. ¡°I love you,¡± I told him. ¡°I love you so much that it feels like I¡¯m going to burst with it. You¡¯re every fairy tale I never believed in. Every wish I didn¡¯t know to make. I love you.¡± His mouth covered mine hard as his arms wrapped around me, holding me tightly against him. I went up on my tiptoes, needing this. Him. Always needing him. Tore Up: Chapter 43 I locked the office door behind me without taking my eyes off Halo. She loved me. I didn¡¯t deserve it, but she seemed to continually give me things I wasn¡¯t worthy of. Like her forgiveness. ¡°What are we doing in here?¡± she asked as her blue eyes scanned the room ufortably. ¡°There is something in here I need to give you,¡± I exined walking over to the desk for the paperwork I had told Adalee to print out earlier today. ¡°Why did you lock the door?¡± I lifted my gaze from the desk to her uncertain expression. This was or had been Adalee¡¯s office. She didn¡¯t want to be in here and I couldn¡¯t me her. But I was going to fix that. I picked up what I was looking for and went over to stand in front of her. I wanted to kiss every one of those fucking freckles and I would. But not yet. Holding out the papers to her I smiled. ¡°These are yours.¡± She took it her eyes dropping to study what I had handed her. ¡°What¡­ what are these?¡± ¡°Temporary for the moment but official. I have you a keepsake certificateing that will be framed and you can hang it in your office,¡± I replied enjoying how damn cute she lookedpletely confused. She looked up at me. ¡°What is the Jockey Club?¡± she asked. ¡°That¡¯s Slingshot¡¯s registration although you¡¯ll have to decide on his official name. Slingshot is taken. But he will remain Slingshot here. The other is your owner¡¯s license and transfer of ownership.¡± Her eyes swung back down to the papers in her hand. ¡°My owner¡¯s license?¡± ¡°Your owner¡¯s license,¡± I confirmed. ¡°Slingshot is yours.¡± She sucked in a deep breath then lifted those eyes that owned me back to meet mine. ¡°You gave me Slingshot?¡± Taking a step closer to her I cupped the side of her face. ¡°Pretty girl, I¡¯d give you every fucking horse in these stables if you wanted them. But yes, I gave you Slingshot.¡± Augh bubbled out of her as she threw herself at me wrapping her arms around my neck. ¡°Oh my god, Bane!¡± she cried. I pulled her tight against me and picked her up so I could bury my face in her hair. The round hard bump of her stomach no longer made me feel guilty. She was mine. They both were- her and the baby. And I had to believe that Crosby would have wanted this. Loving her I understood now that love wasn¡¯t a selfish emotion. More than anything I wanted her happy and taken care of. I would do everything in my power to make sure she always had what she needed, wanted, even the things she didn¡¯t know to fucking want. If Crosby had felt for her what I did, then I knew he wouldn¡¯t see this as betrayal. His soul would be at rest because she was loved. No, she was fucking adored. And his son would be too. ¡°I need you naked, pretty girl and bent over the desk,¡± I said against her ear. The way her body shivered from my words only stroked the possessive beast in my chest making him even more fierce. ¡°In here?¡± she asked, pulling back to gaze up at me. I nodded. ¡°I figure we should christen the ce before and after you gut the room and redecorate it the way you want it.¡± Her eyes widened. ¡°What?¡± I lowered her back to her feet. ¡°This is your office now. The shit in here has to go and you will need to pick out new furniture and even a paint color. I want it to look and smell like yours.¡± She stepped back slowly scanning the room as if seeing it for the first time. ¡°Really?¡± she breathed sounding amazed. ¡°Mmmhmm,¡± I replied reaching for the hem of her shirt and pulling it up. ¡°Strip. I need to see my cum leaking from your cunt.¡± She turned back to me and smiled. ¡°You saw that this morning.¡± ¡°Yeah, and I want to see it again,¡± I replied. Since my results hade back clear I¡¯d been unable to go very long without sinking inside her bare. It was the kind of nirvana that made a man crazy. I was addicted and happy about it.N?velDrama.Org: text ? owner. She took the shirt from my hand and finished removing it then dropped it on the floor before starting on her bra. I stood transfixed while she slid it off her arms then tossed it away. She was a fucking goddess with a sweet smile that made me weak. ¡°I¡¯m the only one undressing,¡± she pointed out. ¡°And you¡¯re doing an excellent job, pretty girl. Keep going.¡± Theughter that fell from her luscious mouth wrapped around my heart soaking into my soul. Tore Up: Epilogue Four Months Later¡­ I pulled on the fluffy pink robe that Bane had bought me weeks ago then tied it just above my stomach before opening our bedroom door and stepping out. He hadn¡¯t been in bed when I woke up from my nap. We¡¯d had afternoon sex then he¡¯d held me while I had dozed off. My little guy was keeping me up at nights kicking and pushing on my ribs. I¡¯d been napping midafternoon daily over the past month because of it. My steps faltered as my stomach dropped. The bedroom door that had belonged to Crosby was open and worse -the lights were on. Who had gone in there? Bane didn¡¯t want that room touched. One night months ago while weid in bed he had talked about it. How he couldn¡¯t bring himself to go in there or touch anything. I was torn between yelling at whoever was in there to get out and also worried for their life. Taking a step closer I saw a small portion inside and paused. Crosby¡¯s room was light blue? That was an interesting choice. Curiosity to see more had me moving another step closer. Bane wouldn¡¯t want the door opened or the lights on. I should tell whoever it was to get out now instead of trying to peek inside. Before I could do either of those things, Bane filled the doorway. Startled I jumped back like I¡¯d been caught doing something wrong. Maybe I had. I wasn¡¯t sure. The smile that slowly formed on his face was not what I had expected. He was in Crosby¡¯s room and he was¡­ happy about it? ¡°There¡¯s my sleeping beauty,¡± he drawled then held out his hand toward me. ¡°Come here.¡± I looked at his hand, then his face, then past him into the room. Was this a weird pregnancy dream? Because if we were about to have sex in Crosby¡¯s room then my hormones had taken it a step too far. I¡¯d already dreamed about having sex with him in public and out at the pool with an audience. That was bad enough. I shook my head. Bane raised an eyebrow. ¡°No?¡± ¡°You don¡¯t want anyone in that room,¡± I told him or my subconscious. Whichever it was, both needed to be informed that the room was off limits. ¡°Halo,¡± he said with an amused tone. ¡°Don¡¯t make me spank your ass. You know I like that. Now,e here.¡± I felt awake. This didn¡¯t seem dreamlike. ¡°Why?¡± I asked. ¡°Because I want to show you something,¡± he replied. His expression gentle and his voice almost pleading. Okay, fine. Maybe he was ready to face Crosby¡¯s things. He might need me for that. To support him. Taking a deep breath, I walked toward him keeping my eyes locked on his in case I saw any sign that he had changed his mind. When I stopped in front of him, he slid his hands over my stomach to cradle it then he winked at me before stepping back so I could go inside. He waved a hand for me to enter but I didn¡¯t make it very far. The walls were all a light blue. A round navy rug covered most of the dark hardwood floors. The mahogany canopy crib I¡¯d loved on one of my shopping trips with Grissele sat against the center wall. ck and brown horses dangled from a mobile that hung over it. The name Hawkins was painted on the wall in a dark blue and on each side of his name was framed paintings of horses. One was ck and the other a dark brown. A warm hand touched my back. ¡°Say something. The tears rolling down your face is making it hard for me to just stand here and let you look,¡± Bane¡¯s voice sounded thick with emotion. I swung my gaze up to meet his only now realizing I was crying. ¡°You,¡± I started and had to suck in a ragged breath to keep from sobbing. ¡°You did this.¡± He nodded. ¡°I did. My brother would have never wanted this room closed up and the truth is he would have wanted you in here when I brought you to this house and not in the fucking attic. I couldn¡¯t give him that but I can give him this. Hawkins Crosby Cash should have his father¡¯s bedroom.¡± I blinked as I stared up at the man who had once been my own living nightmare yet had be my entire world. He was my family¡­ he was my home. I ced a hand on my stomach just as Hawkins decided to kick me. Bane Cash was ours. Not just mine. ¡°The ck horse is Stolen. He was Crosby¡¯s. He will be Hawkins first horse. The brown horse is-¡± ¡°Baldric,¡± I said recognizing him by the ck marking on his face. I turned back to Bane. ¡°What about his dad¡¯s horses? Don¡¯t you think they belong on the walls too?¡± Bane went still. So still I worried that I¡¯d asked the wrong thing. He hadn¡¯t called himself anything other than Hawkins uncle but the truth was he would be much more than that. ¡°I don¡¯t,¡± he paused swallowing hard. ¡°I don¡¯t want him not to know who his father was. I want him to know about Crosby.¡± I smiled. ¡°I do too and he will. We will both make sure of it. He will have his father¡¯s name. But, Bane, he is going to need a dad. Crosby wouldn¡¯t want him to grow up without one. You won¡¯t just be his uncle. You¡¯ll be the most important man in his life.¡± Bane ran a hand over his mouth and let out a long heavy sigh. ¡°You really think that?¡± he asked. ¡°That Crosby would be okay with it? Me being his son¡¯s dad?¡± I stepped in front of him and ran my hands up his arms. ¡°I think he¡¯d be disappointed if you weren¡¯t. I don¡¯t know what our future holds or where we are going with this, us, but I do know that whatever happens this baby will be a Cash. And he will need you.¡± Bane¡¯s expression darkened. ¡°What the fuck do you mean by you don¡¯t know what our future holds?¡± he reached up and grabbed my hand off his arm squeezing it. ¡°You¡¯ll spend the rest of it with me if you want to save lives. Because if you think I will remain sane if you ever try and walk away from me, you¡¯re wrong. I need you. I can¡¯t live without you.¡± There was a ferocity in his voice. ¡°I wasn¡¯t nning on it,¡± I replied sweetly. ¡°Then don¡¯t say shit like that,¡± he said taking my chin between his forefinger and thumb. ¡°It fucks with my head.¡± ¡°I won¡¯t.¡±N?velDrama.Org: text ? owner. His eyes searched mine as if he needed to be reassured that I wasn¡¯t going anywhere before lowering his head and brushing his mouth against mine. The flick of his tongue on my bottom lip had me leaning into him and opening for more. I could never seem to get enough of this man. He had walked into my life threatening to take it and in the end, he¡¯d given me a life better than my dreams. The Novel will be updated first on this website. Come back and continue reading tomorrow, everyone!