《RE:$Hape,re:#A5H》


 New prologue

    Have you ever wondered what it feels like to escape death? Have you ever considered what it feels like to narrowly escape dying?You most likely haven¡¯t ,Right?That''s why you''re reading this.


    If you have experienced the previous state of mind ,your life must be really bad ,huh?


    Well let me tell you the tale of a certain boy who has had countless experiences with death while still being a normal person.


    You heard right, I said he was a normal person . He was not not a military personnel , no one with a tragic backstory , nor some kind of thrill-seeker, he was just a perfectly average young adolescent boy just like someone might have seen around you.


    He was not anyone with some great fate neither was he special in any way he was simply normal . the only thing about him that was somewhat abnormal about him was the way he died ,for your information his death was not heroic in any way it was the direct opposite it was pathetic ,cowardly and common.


    During the ten months before his death he was in many different forms of accidents and incidents ,whether it be natural disasters like earthquakes, floods or typhoons or man made incidents like robberies or slasher attacks ,he survived many different forms of near death happenings .


    Now you might be thinking this boy is extremely lucky or is there someone plotting something against him?


    The second point I don;t know but i never said anything about him being lucky did i ? although he himself might survived all these occurrences the people near him didn¡¯t , a lot of his friends, his family ,his relatives and even random bystanders all died while something happened near them/


    Your probably thinking how did he not commit suicide after all of this? Does he not feel anything from people near him dying/


    He did try many times to kill himself but each time he did something happened , either some kind of person who detests suicide came and stopped or some other strange coincidentual thing happened


    You''re wondering where the person I am talking about is still alive ? and to that question my answer is he is dead . He finally died after everyone near him passed away. He was this depressing cause this was not meant to depress, it is simply what happened . may his soul get solace


    BTW his cause of death was him getting run over by a truck which for some reason, even after hitting him didn¡¯t stop and ran into a nearby airport and crashed into an empty plane


    ********


    [Ugh everything hurts ]


    [ Getting run over still hurts ]


    [Did that do it ? Am I finally dead/?]


    Or is this some kind of last minute hospital ward for running over people like the other one?/if it is I,I,I can¡¯t do this shit anymore just let this end I wanna die just let it ALL END ALREADY!!!


    For now let''s open my eyes and see what''s up


    {uhm,Uhm huh? Why is it so dark ?]


    It¡¯s really dark


    I got run over right , so,I should be in a hospital somewhere right?


    This is a hospital right ?


    [Huh, why am I naked? Did I get kidnapped to get sacrificed again?]


    Well if i am kidnapped for sacrificial purposes again i hope they succeed


    Any second somebody should be coming to get me from whatever cult responsible for thisYou might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.


    Any second now,, any second now


    Ten minutes later


    Any minute now, any minute


    Why is no one coming ?


    Do you even not want to kill me ?


    [Hello , is anyone there ?]


    I asked in a decently loud voice to which there was no answer


    Not feeling discouraged I yelled in a much louder than before


    [ YO, FUCKWADS WHO DRAGGED ME HERE AREN¡±T YOU GONNA DO ANYTHING WITH ME? OR AM I JUST GONNA SIT HERE? ANSWER DIPSHITS]


    That should atleast make someone come here


    Five minutes later


    Come on at least someone respond


    [hellooo, Did YOU not hear me I called y¡¯all a bunch of fuckwads and dipshits , so at least respond if you don¡¯t want to prove me right ]


    [ Hey, are you listening? respond when someone is talking]


    Ten minutes of shuting and verbal abuse


    [ARE YA¡±LL FUCKING JAPANESES ISEKAI PROTAGS , GROW A FUCKING PAIR AND RESPOND ,I AM A SUICIDAL WRECK OF A PERSON BUT EVEN I WOULD REACT IF SOMEONE SAID SO MUCH SHIT ABOUT ME , YA¡±LL ARE FUCKING PUSSIES, RESPOND RETARDS, FUCKING RESPOND!!]


    [hum, hunh, humh , huunh]


    What kind of pussy-ass cult kidnaps someone and does nothing after


    When I get out of whatever is restraining me i¡¯ll beat their asses


    [ huun, hhunnh, hhuun, nhhen]


    After a full minute of continuous struggle against my constraints i managed to break out


    I tried to search for the constraints but i couldn''t find them it was as if they disappeared


    [Okay, let''s find the exit and also beat up one of my kidnappers , that will make me feel good ,yeah ,meaningless violence]


    [ okay, let¡¯s see the least amount of echo was over here I think so I should also go this way, yeah ,that logic is perfect. So let¡¯s also¡±BWACK'''' ow.]


    Did I just crash face first into a wall , thats so stupid


    [ if there is a wall here i can use it as a guide and find the exit]


    So let''s do that


    ¡°Caress ¡°touch ¡® ¡°touch


    [ Ohh, here i can go through here, lets go}


    I start walking at a brisk pace that isn''t too slow or fast after sometime I see some light in the distance. Thinking i found the exit of where i am i increase my speed and run towards it


    After I ran to where the light was i saw something very -


    [it¡¯s an Ipad]


    As i can tell it¡¯s an Ipad, not only that but it is a floating Ipad on a pedestal


    My instincts which i have thoroughly developed in the last ten months of my life are telling me touching will lead to something bad,but i am a dipshit who likes to go against reason and the worst thing that can happen to me is death which i wish for so I¡¯mma go touch it


    [ Okay, i should first bring it down ]


    ¡°Click¡±


    That w-was definitely a click right. I clicked something, RIght?


    When I was panicking over what i clicked i noticed there was a piece of paper directly below where the Ipad was so tied to read it


    [let¡¯s see¡±Thou who readst thine paper hast most certainly passed thyme mortal coil , whence thou activate thisth odalisk thine existence shall beith reconstituted]


    [ What kind of prick wrote this bullshit, oh this is the place of the pussy cult. I Should find my clothes and le-...??]


    Wut da fuq. ?????


    [My hand, my hand , my sweet glorious hand!!!!!!!]


    My hands are disappearing(well only one of them


    {what¡¯s happening ,how is this possible ?]


    Okay , okay calm down me and think


    [ the note it said something about oda-something and activating does that mean the Ipad(??)]


    But when did I turn it on


    [The click sound ]


    If we are following that logic means I ¡®m finally dead, well this was unexpected.


    [hUUNNUUUUUHHHHFFFF . FUCK YOU RELIGION-...]


    That is how I completely turned to dust


    SOmetime later in another world far away from here a certain grey-ash haired boy was born in a certain village in a world of swords and magic


    >>>>>>>>>


    Hi my name is Allen and i am a genius


    Why am I a genius you ask because at 3 months of my birth i learned how to walk at 9 months of birth I could speak pretty well and at 2 years of age I used magic it totally stunned my parents when i did it,so yes i am a genius


    I am currently 3 years old


    I live in the village of Orin


    Recently I have been having strange dreams of a place I have never seen ,or a very dark room with someone I don¡¯t know talking to me


    When I tried talking to me my mother About it she said It¡¯s not anything important but I¡¯ll figure it out sooner or later , because I am a genius

 Im a genius and most people are garbage

    Hi I am Allen


    I am 6 years old


    I live in the village of Orin.My mom says I am a genius. So I must be.


    Recently I have been¨C


    [Hey Al, come help me out ]


    [Coming!!]


    I said so as I stop writing the diary on my table and went to help my mother


    It¡¯s not my favourite thing to do ,


    I mean physical exercise,not neglecting my mother ,


    I don¡¯t hate the act of helping my mom , it¡¯s just i don¡¯t like work that involves doing repetitive things, That''s all , No other reason


    [Al,, grab the bucket were gonna go get water from the well]


    [okay]


    I grab the bucket that''s in  the barre in our kitchen and make my way over to mother


    [ Got it]


    [ Good boy , now let''s go or we might meet someone we know ]


    Saying this to me my mother holds my hand and went outside our home


    >>>>>>>>>>>>


    [We¡¯re lucky today, looks like  no one is here right now]


    My mother said in a jovial mood as she hadn¡¯t come outside the house for the last week


    [ Mom ,why do we always try to avoid people when we go outside? And also when I go outside I have to pretend to be uncle Cain¡¯s adopted son even though you¡¯re still alive?


    You and uncle Cain aren¡¯t married , neither do you two live together? Then why/]


    When I said those words my mother had a very complicated expression and after a few minutes of being in deep thought she said


    [ Th-that is is, a very complicated question if you want to know that you have to wait another 10 , no 15 more years , so don¡¯t  ask anything any more okay}


    [But that doesn¡¯t say any]


    [No more questions ok]


    [but]


    [No.more.questions]


    [bu]


    [ No.More.questions]


    My mom¡¯s smiling face at that time at a strange sense of pressure behind it which really scared , so I didn¡¯t ask anymore questions


    [Oh, it looks like no one is using the well today. We must be lucky today]


    [Mother ,since I can¡¯t anything related to that matter anymore I have another question then]


    [Sure ,ask away]


    [Why do you wear a hood whenever we go outside?]


    [Listen Al and listen well, when Mom was younger and you weren¡¯t born yet, mom did some really bad things to some really important people and that was really bad ,so I had to go away from the place I lived before and come here. And now If the important people I did bad things to find me .They will take me away and lock me up without letting me out. That¡¯s why I wear a hood s]


    [Okay next question]


    [go ahead]


    [does any of this have to do with my previous question]


    When I asked my question Mom turned around and made a very radiient smile


    The smile was so beautiful when i looked at her it felt like all evil in me was purified


    Normally such a smile would mean something good would happen, right/ Yeah that would be the case normally. But for those who know my mother this face meant only one thing


    Death , or something close to it at least


    Last time I saw this was when Old Cain)39) got drunk and try to jump My mother


    [Mr Allen do you want to not to eat tonight]


    [ That¡¯s doable .So, I¡¯m fine with that]


    I said in a monotone voice


    [[Oh that''s such a shame I heard  from a little birdie that Cain had acquired some really good cockatrice -meat which can be turned into a mouth-wateringly delicious food which I was going to make for you. But since You aren¡¯t having dinner i won¡¯t make any]


    Fried chicken the situation has changed


    On one hand there is knowing what my mother is hiding on the other hand fried chicken


    This is very hard the matter of the hood always bugged me , but fried chicken is delicious


    Which is it gonna be hood or chicken


    Hood ,chicken


    Chicken,chicken


    {Ma¡¯am forgive this one''s insolent actions towards . this one shall not ask anymore questions!!]


    [good,Now be at ease soldier]


    [yes Ma¡¯am!]


    After this dumb backeforth between me and my mother I saw something In the ndistance


    To be frank it was not that far But I¡¯d still need to run to get over there


    [Mom, final question]


    [Maybe when we go home?]


    [ but I need to know now]


    [Do you really need to?]


    ¡°sigh¡±[Okay, go ahead]


    [Should I go help that kid over there who¡¯s being pelted with water magic and mud balls]


    [Do you think doing this will make me happy?]


    [I don¡¯t know}


    [ And with that do you still want to do it]


    [Yes]


    [Why do you want to do it?]


    [ Because many people are bullying one person. That¡¯s not right bullying should be done one-on-one]


    [That''s a very original opinion. Where did you learn what bullying is and that it should be one-on-one]


    [A few weeks ago when you locked yourself in your room at night after dinner and told me not go near there for a while I got curious and heard you talking to yourself about it]


    [ what else did you hea-, anyway that''s not important you should go help that bullied kid first afterwards you don¡¯t have to come here i¡¯ll everything by myself you go have fun with that kid and come back home later, okay]


    [Okay, off I go]


    Btw, I am not doing this because I think bullying is wrong or anything, it is natural for weak people to be picked on by everyone else. It¡¯s just not in my taste(mostly). Also their way their doing it is wrong , Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.


    It should always be one-on-one


    As I think these word speed up my running speed even more with magic spell


    [LESSER QUICK:20%:5s:X3]


    As expected of me. trully, I am a genius


    With my increased seed I reach the place very fast and get behind some tree


    This is not for hiding this is for making an entrance cause they are important


    If I don¡¯t make a dramatic entrance How will the person I am saving remember mes the cool protagonist type person I I don¡¯t make an entrance


    [Hey losers, you shouldn¡¯t bully people like that , it should always be one-on-one. Got that ,if you did stop before i make you]


    I say those words while making intimidating smiling face


    [who the hell are you]


    The oldest looking kid I presume the leader asked me


    [My name is Allen. And I am a genius ,so I shouldn''t be talking to you side-characters like you so listen to my orders and scram now]


    I again try to present my dominance to these side characters


    [Get him!!]


    As soon as I said those words the leader like kid snapped and ordered the other kids to attack me,


    Pussy, can¡¯t do anything himself and can¡¯t also give people instructions. Truly,such  mob character


    [WATERBALL:COLD:3X3X2cm3:X4]...


    Saying saying those words I use the water and and ice attribute beginner spellIi had prepared


    ¡°splash¡±[Guh]


    [Bwahaha. Losers hows the temperature i made really and its winter have fun staying in bed for the next few days after this]


    I laugh at the faces of the now drench losers


    I just hit them very cold water in the middle of winter. Their pathetic weak boieys drenched in cold water look so stupid ,hahahahaha!!!


    As i thought this is the way people should bully someone, this so much fun ,what was going through their heads ,ganging up on someone ,when bullying it should always be done one-on-one


    [Dammit, the little shit knows magic too, you guys get ready]


    [on it]


    [Like i¡¯d let you DUST SPRAY:WIDE:3M]


    [Wha]¡±Gwah¡±


    [cough¡±Cough¡¯¡¯Bleh¡±ThU¡¯i got dust in my mouth]


    [disgusting]


    [It got on my tongue ¡°euh¡±]


    [gyahahahaha, that''s what you deserve losers, eat more dirt here]


    [EARTH SPHERE:SOFT:ADD WATER ATTRIBUTE:X4:2x2x2cm3]


    Whilst laughing i threw a ball of mud to those guys


    [Bleh it went in to my mouth, that does it.  We¡±re kicking this little shits ass FIREBALL:3X3X3CM3:1]


    When he finished his spell a 27cm3 ball of red fire formed near his hands and proceed to fly straight at me


    [Oh thats big, well BARRIER:CIRCLE:TOPLESS:SELF:2X2X3:5s:ANTI FIRE:1]


    Right before the ball of flame hit me a thine pale blue membrane protected me


    That was close,whew


    [Get him ,he shouldn¡¯t have much mana left]


    [Shiet, the losers are getting smart but I am a genius so it¡¯s fine, LIGHT FLASH:ALL DIRECTION:ABOVE:3s:MID]


    My spell created a flash of light above me,which stunned the the mob trash but not me since before the spell itself started I closed my eyes so I am perfectly fine


    [AHHHHH!!]


    Shit one of them wasn¡¯t stunned by the flash , did I underestimate these trash mobs


    [BARRI-AH¡± GUH}¡±Bwack¡±BANG]


    Failing to activate my magic a get tackled away by the kid who charged at me resulting in me colliding with a nearby tree


    [Dammit, that actually hurt , you little shits are gonna die todayFULL ENHANCE:ALL ATTRIBUTE:SELF:FULL BODY:QUICK BURST:70%:5s:X2]


    [Hey Sam He¡¯s glowing,what should we do ]


    [What else, surround him and jump at the same time]


    The leader kid named Sam gave a clear instructions this time


    This still doesn¡¯t make him any less of a mob though. Hmph


    [Like I¡¯d let you]


    [What-Guh]¡¯stumble¡±thuck¡±


    [Hehe,When fighting a group always target the leader first]


    The idiot leader(Sam) didn¡¯t even see my movements , I was so fast , that was a good sucker to the stomach,


    Good sneak attack me


    [What, so fast and Sam in one hit too]


    Perhaps to awed by me frankly badass action, the three continued staring at me


    I watched with a smug expression on my face until I felt a tug on my leg


    [Dumbasses, beat him down I¡¯ve grabbed both of his legs and the last spell must have finished most of his mana]


    [You ain¡¯t dead yet, die like a good trashy background character]


    Saying this I started kicking his face


    I¡¯m still powered up so these would hurt a lot


    So Just die already(means getting knocked out in this case)


    [shin¡±shing¡±]


    But my kicks were being blocked by a barrier


    This explains why he¡¯s not knocked out yet


    [huh,huh,hunh,huu]


    Crap the magic ¡®s out


    [You dumbasses attack all ready his mana just ran out,he¡¯s completely defenceless]


    [Okay ,this is for Sam]


    Idiot leader isn¡¯t dead yet though.I retort in my head


    Saying those words the fattest one of the group(theTackler)came over to me and picked me up by the collar and proceeded to beat the shit out of


    [Where ¡®s your magic now weakling]


    [hehe,you talfin aboutf yofelf faffaas]]


    [What did you say loser]


    [I said you are the weakling fatass]


    [No one calls me fat]


    [Yea, show that kid whos boss tory]


    [Your name is Tory  are you a girl? , cause I didn¡¯t notice because of the fat]


    [ouh ¡®you two help out as well]


    [Y-yea¡¯ we should for Sam]


    [yeah that''s what Sam would have wanted]


    Why are you making your out to be dead


    [Anyway FIREBALL:X1]


    [FIREBALL:X1]


    Saying the spells Mob A and Mob B(which I have named them just now} made there way towards me


    I mean fatass¡¯s(tory) punches didn¡¯t hurt to much but this is gonna hurt a lot, cause yunno it¡¯s fire and I don¡¯t have anymore mana to make a barrier anymore , so this gonna hurt a lot


    [go]


    [yea, aim at the kid]


    {STOPIIIITTT!!!!]


    As soon as those words were yelled the fireballs headed towards me, they vanished ,


    More accurately the disintegrated


    All of us at that time looked at the source of the yell at the same time


    It was the bullied kid


    With silky golden blonde hair,emerald green eyes  and an effeminate face , that was very well proportioned, especially for a child .It made Him(??)look like a picturesque beautiful person


    Why did I call them beautiful? Because I know my mom is beautiful, they can give my mother I run for her money. Why did I say him, because he is wearing boy''s clothes.


    A beige shirt and trousers to be exact


    [I didn¡¯t do anything when I was getting hit by you people but don¡¯t get other people involved ,If you know what''s best for you then let that kid go]


    He(??) was saying this to us in a low but serious voice while donning a serious expression on his(??) face


    Well I Wasn''t looking at his(??0 face much, I was just focusing on one part of it. The eyes


    He(??) had the eyes of a beast looking at it¡¯s powerless prey


    I know those Eyes because lat year a monster broke into the village and almost made it near my house,luckily it was killed by adventurers who came to kill it, but for the brief moment I made eye contact with it


    It showed me the same kind of eyes


    Oh shit depending on what I or more importantly they do ,this could get really bad really fast let''s believe in them. The other guy was able to make a barrier just before my attack, so he should be smart and smart people should attract smart people ,right?


    Yeah let¡¯s believe in the ,let''s do it


    Go idiot squad don¡¯t do something stupid I believe in you


    [Ha-hahaha]


    [hahahahaha,why would we listen to you]


    [Why would we listen to the words of someone way weaker then us, are you stupid]


    What the fuck are they dumb ,don¡¯t do that are trying to get all of us killed are you an idiot


    Stop , before you get me involved, stop!!!


    [Hey weakling you should you should also say something


    Slap¡±slap


    [Hey ash boy boy say something or are you dumb?hm?hmm?]


    [...shut¡­.. up]


    I tried warning the idiots in a really small voice


    [what did ya say]


    Which they completely ignored, for god knows what reasons


    But me being the great person I am, tried telling them again


    This time in a more audible voice


    [SHUT the FUCK UP and do what ever she demands]


    Oh shit I think I misspoke somewhere that should not be important riight


    Yea let¡¯s ignore it for now


    [Huh why the fuck would we listen to either of , your the one¡¯s getting beaten up not us]


    Fatass ,says that as she grabs my neck and begins strangling me


    [are.y-you fuckin¡­dumb]


    When I was about to finish my sentence  felt a strange pressure on top of me


    I wasn¡¯t just me all of the felt it


    They might not know where the pressure was coming from, but they felt it


    [..........]X3


    [.....Hummm¡±Inhale¡±Huuu¡±Exhale¡± Okay, blonde  bro I tag you in now kick these  guys butts with the power of friendship,as expected of my friend awakening  a special power at the last second while the protagonist is losing and then saving them,what a great companion character ,NOW GOOOO!!! Kick their asses]


    Perfectly ,handled situation as expected of me a genius


    Now go along with It and kick their asses,GO Blondie! GOOO!!!


    As I was celebrating in my head he started opening his hands and made three light spheres appear


    Silent and quick casting heh that¡¯s almost as good as me(sweats)


    She continued walking until a little farther away from us opens and then closed her hands tightly assumed a throwing stance and then threw them


    [GUH!!!]X3


    The orbs she threw accurately hit the faces of the three idiots and blew them away


    I mean if they had been Team R**ke*  this would be straight of an episode of ____mon


    What should I do now do I demand compensation or say thanks for the rescue


    Lets do both, Yea no problems with that at all


    This is 100% safe and will not backfire.


    [Thanks for the save as reward for it , l might consider letting you be a friend of mine]


    {No thank you]


    Saying that she started walking away


    Wait what¡­what just happened


    Did I just get rejected to my face


    HUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!