《The Devil Keeps Following Me Around, vol. 1》


 Part 1

    Day 1, the first day, three days before the flying head


    Mine was a boring life up until this day when I showed up for work and met the Devil.


    ¡­


    I was walking and humming.


    ¡°What should I do,


    De dum dum do


    Where should I go,


    I don¡¯t know.¡±


    Whenever I¡¯m bored I find myself silently singing this song that¡¯s stuck in my head.


    It was finally my day off from my part-time job, so I headed to the library to borrow some new old games for my console.


    ¡°I hope Luna¡¯s working at the library today¡­¡±


    I got a text from my elder brother.


    ¡°whaddup bro. can you please respond? i just found the perfect new position at my company where you won¡¯t even have to do any¡ª¡±


    I deleted the message.


    ¡°Oh yeah¡­ ¡°


    My brother¡¯s text reminded me to text the drug dealer. I sent him a message then put the phone away. He usually took a couple of hours to write back.


    While walking, I spotted two of the creatures playing atop a cable box. I walked over to them because I was bored.


    On the box, there was an empty beer bottle. The first creature was hanging from the box upside down and was faceless and smaller than the bottle.


    The second creature, which was about the size of a small ball and also faceless, was flying around the box.


    Ever since I was born, I see about 1-3 of these creatures every week. All of them are the size of or smaller than a basketball. Some have wings and can fly, but most are wingless and walk or crawl.


    They all have individual shapes and sizes and I¡¯ve never seen two alike.


    Though what they all have in common is that they¡¯re faceless and harmless and just move around aimlessly, though sometimes they are in groups. The biggest group I¡¯ve seen of these creatures was four together.


    And sometimes I see some trapped in buildings and guide them out if I have nothing better to do.


    I haven¡¯t bothered experimenting on them, so there¡¯s a lot of details about them I don¡¯t know.


    I¡¯m not sure if they can see or feel because they have no faces. I assume they can at least perceive their environment better than an automatic vacuum cleaner, because I sometimes, though rarely, like today, see them hanging around in groups.


    They are also very clumsy and I¡¯ve seen them bump into people and things many times.


    I¡¯m the only one who can perceive these creatures.


    When I was a child, I used to tell people about them but no one believed me and I was tired of being called a schizophrenic, so I stopped talking about them and pretended to not see them.


    At first, I thought I was just crazy. But eventually I figured out that these creatures actually exist physically, but for some reason, I¡¯m the only one who can perceive them.


    Sometimes I see them bump into people and those people physically react to getting hit and looking around confused. Also, I can touch the creatures and they react physically to me.


    But besides this abnormal perception, everything about my life is utterly boring. And even nowadays I find these creatures boring as well. I¡¯ve never met one who showed any signs of intelligence or could speak.


    While I was absentmindedly staring at them, the flying creature flew into the beer bottle. The bottle hit the ground and smashed into pieces before my feet.


    The sound and image of the beer bottle shattering shocked me back to the present. An intense deja vu came over me. And it gave me a small headache.


    ¡°What the hell?¡± I closed my eyes and scratched my head. Then I continued walking.


    I bumped into someone.


    ¡°Ups, sorry!¡± I said.


    I looked down in front of me.


    There was a girl staring into my eyes, her body right in my personal space. She had completely black hair and pure yellow irises. I thought she looked very pretty. I don¡¯t know why, but her presence made me feel warm and happy.


    She was staring at me expressionlessly. I had never seen such beautiful yellow irises before.


    ¡°Please help me,¡± she said in a monotone voice. Her voice was very feminine.


    ¡°Huh?¡± the question caught me off guard. ¡°Ehm, yeah sure, what do you need help with?¡±


    She paused for a moment. Though her face was expressionless, I could tell she was confused. Then it looked like she had a realization.


    ¡°Oh, never mind.¡±


    She then put her right pointing finger in front of me. I instinctively mirrored her behaviour and pointed my right pointing finger out as well in front of hers.


    She grabbed onto it.


    My hand was cold and hers warm, and I noticed my hand was about twice as big as hers.


    ¡°Close your eyes, and keep them closed.¡°


    I don¡¯t know why, but I did as she told me to. I didn¡¯t feel weirded out or apprehensive in any way. I still just felt warm and happy.


    I closed my eyes.


    I felt wetness and warmth at the end of my finger.


    I opened my eyes and saw she was sucking on it.


    ¡°Ehm¡­¡±


    Without stopping sucking, she gestured to me to close my eyes.


    ¡°Ehm¡­ okay.¡±


    I closed my eyes.


    Right then I worried how this looked if people passed by.


    She put about half my finger in her mouth. Just before I was about to open my eyes again, I felt a hard squeeze down below.


    ¡°Hey!¡±


    I jumped back and opened my eyes.


    She was gone.


    ¡°What the¡­?¡±


    I looked around.


    She couldn¡¯t have just disappeared¡­


    There was no one else on the street but me. I kept looking around trying to spot where she went. I even ran over to the different alleys and ways out, but I couldn¡¯t find her.


    ¡°Did that really just happen?¡±


    I looked down at my finger. It still felt wet and I could see her drool on it.


    Because of the warmth and happiness she left in me, and because of my loneliness and boredom, I felt a weird desire. I put my drool-covered finger into my mouth.


    ¡°Vanilla?¡±


    I was confused.


    ¡°What the hell just happened¡­¡± I stood there for two minutes.


    I shook my head.


    ¡°Oh yeah, the library.¡±


    ¡­


    When I entered the library, I spotted Luna at the desk dealing with some old people. I made eye contact with her and she nodded hello to me and I waved hello back, then I went to the DVDs section to check for new games.


    While I was at the section, I saw that the library had also started stocking Intendo Flip games.


    God I wish I could afford a Flip.


    ¡°Always the same¡­¡±


    While I was flipping through games, I saw that no new ones had come on the shelves. There were a couple of games at the library I¡¯ve been eyeing and hoping would come in stock. I kept flipping through the shelves.


    Almost all of the games the library has are a couple of years old, and if you want the best of those games, you have to reserve them online, which I¡¯m too lazy to do. Else you have to hope that one comes in stock before it¡¯s reserved or taken by someone else.


    Of course, I want the newest games and not these crappy old ones the library has, but beggars can¡¯t be choosers. And on the flip side sometimes you find gems by being forced to play through these older titles.


    This sucks¡­ If I ever win the lottery I¡¯m buying every new release on my wish list¡­ every game on Shopcool, every cool thing in the game store¡­ and a VR-headset. And a big ass gaming laptop. And a bigger TV, one of those that curves! And, of course, the new gaming console. And the Intendo Flip, why not. And the Heat Check when it comes out. And eating Chinese buffet every day. And filling my fridge with those expensive ready-made meals from L?meks!


    I couldn¡¯t find any of the games I wanted.


    ¡°Heh¡­ this sucks.¡±


    I picked three games at random even though they looked boring.


    While I was picking up the games, I felt like I¡¯d forgotten something at home.


    I looked over at Luna and saw she wasn¡¯t alone yet so I wandered around the library for a bit.


    All of the books there looked old and boring. And the atmosphere of the library always makes me depressed and reminds me of my shitty school days.


    ¡°Why do I even come here to the library, this place sucks¡­¡°


    I went back to the reception area and saw Luna was alone and smiling at me.


    Yes, finally!


    ¡°Hello hello,¡± I said.


    ¡°Hello Ticker! how are you?¡± Luna said while smiling brightly. I like how cheerful she always is.


    ¡°Fine, you know the usual¡­ Wait no! You won¡¯t believe what just happened, holy shit!¡±


    ¡°What? Tell me!¡±


    ¡°Ehm¡­ Nah you wouldn¡¯t believe me anyway.¡±


    ¡°No way! Don¡¯t leave me hanging like that!¡±


    ¡°Meh, might tell you some other time. Pretty sure you won¡¯t believe me anyway, it was pretty absurd.¡±


    ¡°Wow, you¡¯re such an asshole,¡± she said.


    ¡°I sure am. Anyway, just came by to get these games,¡± I said and showed her the DVDs. She took them and scanned them for me then put them in a plastic bag and gave them back to me.


    ¡°Did you remember to return the old ones?¡±


    Oh shit! That¡¯s what I forgot!


    ¡°Sorry! I forgot. I¡¯ll bring them tomorrow.¡±


    When I said this, she smiled.


    ¡°That¡¯s good, I¡¯ll be here tomorrow from ten to fifteen¡­ Also, when are you gonna start borrowing some books instead of games all the time?¡±


    ¡°Eh, never. Why would I bother when everything¡¯s free online? I only read light novels anyway, everything else¡¯s boring.¡±


    I heard a text ring from my phone but ignored it.


    She pouted and said: ¡°It¡¯s not called free, it¡¯s called illegally pirating. Also, it¡¯s better for your eyes to read paper instead of a screen.¡±


    ¡°Tell that to the trees you¡¯re killing¡­¡± Not that I care about trees. I was just too broke to buy and too lazy to read paper books. Turning pages is annoying.


    ¡°Why do you borrow so many games anyway? You¡¯re almost here every other day,¡± Luna said.


    I hesitated. I didn¡¯t want to tell her I only came to peek at her and hope for a conversation.


    ¡°Well, I get bored of something quickly. I find most games boring in the beginning and stop playing them, and if I find them interesting, I¡¯ll only play them for a few hours before I get bored.¡±


    ¡°Maybe you have ADHD or something¡ª Oh my god! Dude! I¡¯m so scared! Did you hear about the shooting? Some drug dealer was murdered in front of that kebab place. I¡¯m really afraid of going home alone after work today¡­¡±


    ¡°Yeah it¡¯s really scary. I hope they catch him¡±


    I did not hope they caught him. I didn¡¯t want to be out of drugs. And I get my stuff from the drug dealer who killed the other drug dealer.


    I heard a text ring from my phone again.


    Speak of the devil¡­


    I checked my phone. He texted he was free now and for me to come over. I texted him back.


    ¡°Well, gotta go,¡° I said.


    I felt like I shouldn¡¯t overstay. I always feel people don¡¯t want to be around me.


    ¡°Huh, okay¡­¡± she said and pouted a little.


    When I said I was leaving she looked sad? Maybe I could have stayed a little longer? Not like I was doing anything important anyway.


    ¡°W-Well see you tomorrow! I¡¯ll be here from ten to fifteen dealing with old people, hehe.¡± Luna said.


    ¡°Yeah, bye-bye.¡±


    While going through the exit I turned around and she was still smiling at me and I waved goodbye and she waved back.


    Such a cute girl. I really wanna see her nipples. Holy shit it was hard to keep my eyes up and not peek at her huge boobs!


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    ¡­


    I knocked on the door to the apartment. From behind the door, I could hear someone moving in a panic.


    ¡°Who the fuck is it!¡± said the drug dealer.


    I was sure he was looking at me through the peephole, but paranoid drug dealers are paranoid. Especially right after they¡¯ve killed someone.


    ¡°Hello hello, it¡¯s Ticker.¡±


    ¡°What are you holding?!¡± he said.


    ¡°Oh, just a plastic bag with three games from the library.¡°


    I heard a lot of key and clicking sounds. The door opened. From behind it appeared a short man with big muscles.


    ¡°Ayy, what¡¯s up bro!¡± he said in a cheerful voice.


    He poked his head outside the door and looked around with his right hand behind his back. Then he sighed in relief.


    We did a bro-fist and he let me in. He slammed the door and used its many bolts and chains to lock it.


    ¡°Nothing much, finally my day off.¡±


    ¡°For real? That¡¯s good. How¡¯s my sister doing?¡°


    ¡°Good, good,¡± I said. I made sure to not mention how Fatdiva was being creepy around her and kept touching her awkwardly and making perverted comments. Since his reaction to this and the changes it would make to my life would be annoying to deal with.


    He went back to the door and double-checked all the locks and looked through the peephole again.


    Then he came back.


    Without saying anything, the drug dealer gave me a big smile and turned around.


    While his back was turned I could see the pistol tugged into his pants.


    He grabbed a large suitcase and opened it on the floor.


    Then my eyes looked at what was inside.


    Beautiful! Magnificent!


    ¡°I¡¯ve got all the drugs in the world that you need,¡± he said.


    ¡°I love you baby!¡° I said.


    You name it, he has it. And he never cuts it, at least not for me. He told me he gets all his stuff from the Darknet, buys it in bulk for a discount, then sells it in units and profits from the difference.


    ¡°I think I¡¯ll just go with shrooms today. The ones that taste less shitty than the others,¡± I said.


    ¡°Oh, just like your bro¡ª¡± he tried cut himself off but let his tongue slip. There was an awkward pause.


    ¡°¡­ How¡¯s he doing? Is he good?¡±


    My phone started ringing but I turned it off without looking.


    ¡°Ehm¡­¡± I could see him hesitate, ¡°¡­ Well financially he¡¯s doing great! He¡¯s my biggest client, he and his buddies all come over in expensive suits and buy me out all the time. I keep having to reorder shipments.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡± There was an awkward pause again. Then I heard my phone ring again.


    ¡°Who the fuck¡¯s calling me!¡°


    I checked my phone.


    ¡°You¡¯ve gotta be kidding me!¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡° he said.


    ¡°Same shit, different day. I gotta run, how much?¡±


    ¡°350 kroner for one.¡±


    I gave him the cash.


    He put two batches inside my plastic bag.


    ¡°I¡¯ll give another on the house bro.¡±


    ¡°No, you don¡¯t have to do that,¡± I said.


    ¡°No, on the house, for a friend whose day just got shitty ha-ha,¡± he said and smiled. I put on a smile and laughed back.


    ¡°Ha-ha, thanks, bro.¡±


    In no way did I think of him as a friend. Not that I have a single friend anyway.


    We went back to the exit. He spent a minute looking through the peephole. Then he unlocked the door.


    I went out.


    ¡°Yeah, thanks bro, see ya! Remember, as always, don¡¯t tell my brother I was here, okay?¡± I said.


    ¡°Of course bro, don¡¯t worry,¡± he said.


    He slammed the door and used its many bolts and chains to lock it.


    On the way to hell, I found myself walking past the spot where I¡¯d met the mysterious girl who tasted like vanilla.


    I saw that the two creatures were still hanging around the same spot by the cable box.


    I looked at them and said, ¡°Lucky bastards, don¡¯t have to pay for food and rent.¡±


    No response.


    ¡°Sorry I seem angrier than earlier. It¡¯s just that my shitty boss¡ª it¡¯s just that Fatdiva just ruined my day.¡± Whenever I say ¡®my boss¡¯ I feel like a slave and it makes my blood boil.


    I sighed.


    I tried getting my mind off things and just stared at the creatures for a minute.


    Now that I think about it, since they¡¯re faceless they shouldn¡¯t need food. And I¡¯ve never seen one sleeping too. Maybe they don¡¯t need to rest and eat?


    I looked down and saw the smashed glass from earlier. It reminded me of those beautiful yellow irises.


    I sighed.


    ¡°I hope I see her again¡­¡°


    I closed my eyes and scratched my head. Then I turned around and hoped I¡¯d bump into her.


    I opened my eyes. A stranger passed by me pretended he didn¡¯t just see me acting weird.


    I sighed again and started walking.


    I nodded goodbye to the two creatures and said, ¡°See you later.¡±


    I was pretty sure I would never see those two creatures again. All of them just wander from place to place aimlessly and it¡¯s very unlikely they¡¯ll visit the same place twice.


    I kept walking and was now across the street from Hell.


    I stopped and sighed deeply.


    ¡°Why am I still working this shitty job? I should just swallow my pride and accept my big brother¡¯s charity¡­¡±


    I looked inside the plastic bag full of games and drugs.


    ¡°At least I have something to look forward to after work,¡± I said to myself.


    ¡°Hey! Ticker! The fuck are you doing! Hurry up! Your shift started half an hour ago!¡±


    While I was regretting my life choices, I heard short, fat, ugly, and balding Fatdiva scream at me in a high-pitched voice from across the street.


    A thought crossed my mind¡­


    I wouldn¡¯t mind if a car killed him in an accident.


    This is the side-effect of people doing bad things to you. For example, making you come in for work on your day off, a lot of times, like today.


    ¡°Here we go again,¡± I mumbled to myself as I slowly crossed the street.


    ¡­


    There are some choices in life you look back on where you had no idea that time and place and the roll of a dice by fate was happening. If I had simply chosen not to show up for work that day, which was more likely than it was unlikely, I would still be living a boring, uneventful life, until the day I die.


    ¡­


    I entered the gloomy windowless stuffy yellow restaurant kitchen and started my shift.


    I work part-time making pizzas.


    This restaurant is probably the most boring place on earth.


    And I don¡¯t even have anyone to talk while making pizzas. I work with two old, boring, ugly refugees who can¡¯t even speak the language.


    I¡¯m the youngest one at work, 20 years old. When I think about it, I¡¯m the youngest person in my life I know, not that I know many.


    The town I live in is a small ugly one where old, ugly people go to die and waste their money at overpriced restaurants where the pizzas taste bad because the owner doesn¡¯t want to buy good ingredients and loves cutting corners if it makes him a little money.


    While I was bored and making pizzas, I heard a feminine voice from behind me say: ¡°Here you go, Ticker!¡±


    I turned around and saw a cute girl holding a glass of water filled to the brim with ice.


    Thank god she¡¯s working today! Now work will suck less.


    ¡°Thanks, Maggie,¡± I said. I didn¡¯t even ask for it but it¡¯s routine by now.


    Maggie is the prettiest girl I know. She is the only part of work I like and probably the reason I haven¡¯t quit -- alongside the need for money.


    ¡°Dude, you won¡¯t believe what happened to me today!¡± I said.


    ¡°Wait, what? What happened!¡±


    ¡°Mhmmm, nah you¡¯ll just say I¡¯m lying if I tell you¡­¡±


    ¡°No way, I promise I won¡¯t,¡± she said.


    ¡°Meh, might tell you some other day¡­¡± I said.


    ¡°God you¡¯re such a tease!¡°


    I¡¯m the tease?!


    The sad truth is I know I¡¯ll never get to see her nipples or push her face into the pillow.


    ¡°You know,¡± she said teasingly, ¡°I was thinking again about that movie you told me about. We have to watch it someday!¡±


    This was maybe the sixth time she¡¯s mentioned the movie and wanting to watch it with me. Yet whenever I write her or talk to her in person and try to set up the date, she makes some kind of excuse. I¡¯ve stopped bothering asking her.


    I just looked at her and didn¡¯t respond. I was tired of her.


    ¡°Oh my god! Ticker!¡± she said and got closer and touched my arms, ¡°I¡¯m so scared!¡°


    This sounds familiar¡­


    ¡°Why?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Oh my god! Didn¡¯t you hear? There was at the kebab place under where I live! I¡¯m so scared! And you know how afraid I am of walking home at night alone¡­¡±


    Ughh¡­ let¡¯s try, why not?


    ¡°Want me to walk you home tonight when our shifts are done?¡±


    ¡°Ahhh, you¡¯re so sweet! But no thank you! I¡¯ll be fine, you¡¯re so nice.¡±


    Fuck you, bitch!


    ¡°But I really am worried¡­¡± she said.


    ¡°Yeah it¡¯s so scary, I really hope they catch him,¡± I said.


    Maggie is the drug dealer¡¯s sister.


    ¡°Stop disturbing her Ticker!¡±


    Like a small snake slithering in the grass, Fatdiva appeared from out of nowhere to yell at me.


    ¡°I told you to stop talking to Maggie,¡° Fatdiva said and put his hands on her shoulders. I could see her face getting creeped out but she didn¡¯t move away.


    ¡°Come on baby, I need your help with something,¡± Fatdiva said and put his hand behind Maggie¡¯s lower back while walking away with her.


    On the way out, I could see the sweat stains on the back of Fatdiva¡¯s shirt and Maggie inoffensively distancing herself from his hand.


    I sighed deeply.


    ¡°Why am I still working this shitty job?¡±


    ¡­


    Hours passed making pizzas in boredom.


    I found myself humming during the misery:


    ¡°What should I do,


    De dum dum do


    Where should I go,


    I don¡¯t know.¡±


    I sighed.


    From behind I heard the refugee worker click his tongue.


    ¡°Yeah fuck off you grateful piece of war-torn shit.¡±


    He said something back in the same tone in a language which I didn¡¯t understand then walked away.


    ¡°Why am I still working this shitty job? I should just swallow my pride and accept my brother¡¯s charity¡­¡±


    I looked at my phone. I opened it and got ready to write a message to my brother.


    I can¡¯t keep doing this. Let me just write him back and live a normal boring life¡­


    That¡¯s when it happened.


    Just as I was about to write the message, from the corner of my eye, I saw a girl with her back turned against me.


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    I looked at her.


    When I look at those creatures, I always get this vague ¡®not-from-here¡¯ feeling. When I looked at this girl, I got the same feeling, which I had never gotten from a person.


    The first thing I noticed was her amazing ass and figure. Then her red-brown neck-length hair. She was about 165 cm.


    Below she was wearing black boots and tight black jeans which looked like they were about to tear because of her perfect figure.


    Up top, she was wearing a red-pink cotton-shirt. She had the back of her hair up in a ponytail so I could see her graceful neck.


    Only lastly, after staring at her ass and hips again, did I notice she had a big bag on her shoulder full of big plastic cola-bottles that were filled with something that didn¡¯t look like cola.


    I wasn¡¯t sure because her back was turned but it looked like she was eating one of my pizzas.


    ¡°Ehm, excuse me?¡± I said.


    No response.


    ¡°Hello hello, excuse me?¡±


    She turned her head while keeping her back turned as if she heard me but didn¡¯t think it was directed towards her.


    I could see she had taken one bite of the pizza, then put it down. She took a wet napkin from her pocket and gracefully spit out what she was chewing. She then, contradicting how gracefully she spit out the food, threw away the wet napkin randomly without looking where it landed.


    I then heard her talk to herself:


    ¡°Gross. I picked this place at random, but it appears I¡¯ll be doing some charity for this boring city. Ugh¡­ I¡¯m heading back to Copenhagen and never exploring small cities like Vejle again. God this was boring.¡±


    She then reached for her bag.


    ¡°Ehm, why are you eating that pizza?¡±


    In the blink of an eye, too fast for me to notice she had even moved, she turned around and was now face to face with me. I almost jumped back in shock.


    Big, yellow irises were staring into my eyes. She was right in my personal space.


    I felt an intense deja vu for the second time today.


    I looked at her face.


    During the information overload, I remembered the other girl who sucked my finger.


    This is the hottest girl I will ever have met in my life.


    I saw clear white skin. Perfect naturally red lips. And a small cute nose. Her bangs covered her eyebrows some places in different lengths and on the sides covering her ears her hair reached down to her neck.


    I looked down, her shirt was unbuttoned a little so I saw her clavicle and smooth skin. And that she wasn¡¯t wearing a bra.


    Then I saw two not too big not too small, perfect breasts pressing out against her shirt, with her nipples poking through the fabric. Then I looked up and we made eye contact again.


    She looked like she was sizing me up, with her face relaxed. But I could sense in her eyes that she was shocked and confused.


    Again, in the blink of an eye or less, her right pointing finger was now out in front of her. She slowly moved it closer and closer to my chest, while her entire hand was shaking.


    She touched me very lightly. She kept looking at me, trying to see if I registered her touch. When her finger touched me, I heard her mumble, ¡°eeww.¡±


    I looked at her, confused.


    Then she withdrew her hand in an instant I couldn¡¯t see.


    She took out a wet napkin from her pocket and gracefully cleaned her finger where she¡¯d touched me and tossed the tissue on the ground without looking to see where it landed.


    ¡°Ehm¡­ Hello?¡° I said.


    She was still just looking at me with those pure yellow irises.


    Devilish beauty.


    She opened her mouth and exhaled. Because she was in my personal space and her face was so close to mine, I could smell her breath.


    Sugar?


    She then said in the sexiest voice I have heard in my life:


    ¡°Why can you see me?¡± The corners of her lips then went up in a small, creepy smile. I wasn¡¯t sure if she wanted to hug me or murder me.


    ¡°Ehm, what do you mean?¡±


    She paused and didn¡¯t respond. She then studied my eyes.


    ¡°But it¡¯s not just your eyes, you appear to feel me as well, and hear me, so your entire perception is abnormal¡­¡±


    She kept looking at me. Then she stopped and smiled.


    ¡°Anyway, this is great! If I had to spend the remaining fifteen years like this I would have died from boredom!¡±


    What the hell is happening¡­


    Then Maggie came to pick up the pizza I¡¯d made for a customer.


    ¡°Eeew Ticker! Why¡¯d you take a bite from it?¡±


    ¡°Wait, what?¡± I said.


    ¡°Ticker? That¡¯s a weird name¡­¡± the girl said.


    I looked at Maggie then looked at the girl in front of me.


    ¡°She did it, it wasn¡¯t me,¡± I said.


    ¡°What?¡± Maggie looked confused.


    Why isn¡¯t she looking at the girl in front of me?


    ¡°Hmph. My nickname¡¯s ¡®Devil¡¯ back in Hell, but the name¡¯s Lidima, thank you very much,¡± the girl said.


    I looked at Maggie again.


    ¡°Okay, Lidima¡¯s her name,¡± I said and gestured to Lidima.


    Maggie was still looking at me, confused.


    Lidima then laughed.


    ¡°Ticker, you¡¯re the only one in this world who can perceive demons,¡± she said.


    I took a moment to think about what she just said.


    Maggie went up to me and touched my arm and said, ¡°Hey Ticker, are you fine? You¡¯re acting weird¡­¡°


    ¡°Ehm¡­ yeah I just feel a little sick like I have to throw up. I gotta go now.¡±


    ¡°Are you sure? Fatdiva¡¯s gonna be mad but I¡¯ll tell him.¡±


    ¡°As if I give a shit,¡± I said and left.


    I walked quickly to the exit. Then I walked back and grabbed my stuff and the plastic bag with games and drugs and walked to the exit again.


    When I went outside I saw that Lidima was following me.


    ¡°Not even gonna open the door for me and say ¡®Ladies first¡¯?¡±


    The Devil keeps following me around.


    ¡°So where to now?¡° she said.


    ¡°What? Why are you following me!¡±


    Not like I was against having the hottest girl alive follow me, but I was a little stressed from what just happened and appearing schizophrenic to Maggie.


    ¡°I¡¯ve been bored out of my mind not being able to talk to anyone for five years, and now you think I¡¯m just gonna let my only source of entertainment leave? As I said, you¡¯re stuck with me for the remainder of my sentence.¡±


    ¡°Your sentence? Wait, what?¡±


    While we were walking she looked at the bag on her shoulder.


    ¡°Oh forgot about this¡­¡° she said and tossed it randomly. She looked at what I was holding.


    ¡°What¡¯ve you got in the bag?¡±


    ¡°Just drugs and games,¡± I said.


    ¡°Yes! Great!¡° she said.


    We walked a little more.


    I only lived two minutes away from work so I could already see my building.


    ¡°Ehm, this is where I live¡­¡± I said and stopped in front of the building entrance.


    ¡°Ugly building,¡± she said.


    Is she serious about not leaving me? What¡¯s even happening right now... Oh, but wait! I just got an idea! Why didn¡¯t I think of this!


    ¡°If you don¡¯t have a place for tonight you can sleep over, I don¡¯t mind,¡± I said.


    ¡°Are you deaf? I just said I¡¯m not leaving you.¡°


    I felt blood rushing down into my pants.


    ¡°Okay then, ladies first!¡± I said and opened the door for her.


    We took the staircase up to the first floor.


    Holy shit! Maybe I¡¯ll get to fuck her! God I wanna touch those tits and put her nipples in my mouth!


    I could now hear my phone blowing up. I checked and Fatdiva was calling and texting. I turned off my phone.


    ¡°So, you said you were a demon? So those small faceless creatures I sometimes see are demons as well?¡° I asked her.


    ¡°Hmph! Don¡¯t compare a real demon to a lesser demon, idiot!¡±


    She said that almost screaming.


    Quiet down the neighbours might hear you! Oh wait¡­


    We were now at the door of my small and cramped one-bedroom apartment.


    ¡°Ladies first,¡± I said and opened it for her.


    ¡°Eeew this place is disgusting,¡± she said as she took off her shoes and entered. I followed her from behind.


    She went into the kitchen and I threw the plastic bag onto my bed and out of habit turned on the TV and gaming console.


    ¡°How can you live like this,¡± she said and was already cleaning the kitchen. I peeked at her ass.


    She opened my fridge and checked out all the microwaveable foods and milk and rice and white bread.


    She looked around the apartment.


    ¡°Why are you using a big suitcase as a closet?¡± she asked me.


    ¡°Too much work to buy one. And I hate owning useless stuff. I wanna be able to move with no help.¡±


    She then looked at the mattress I used as a bed. Then she continued cleaning. I kept staring at her ass.


    ¡°So, wanna come over here and play? We can do shrooms later¡­¡±


    This piqued her interest. She stopped cleaning and got closer and watched the TV.


    ¡°I have seen human games around but never bothered playing them¡­ are they any fun?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, totally. Come sit here and I¡¯ll show you how to play,¡± I said.


    With no hesitation, she casually sat down right next to me on the bed. Our thighs were almost touching. I felt more blood rushing down into my pants.


    I turned on the game I almost always play and played a little and showed her how to play.


    ¡°Oh, this is interesting,¡± she said while she was using the controller.


    ¡°I¡¯m curious, you said something about being sentenced?¡±


    ¡°Oh yeah, as punishment for breaking the soul-contract I was sentenced to twenty years in this boring world.¡±


    Punished you for what?


    I was almost about to ask her, but I honestly didn¡¯t care at the time I was too focused on her sexiness and sniffing her.


    Again, she smells like sugar¡­


    I felt my feet were touching something. I looked down and saw a bunch of old games.


    ¡°Oh shit, these are the ones I forgot to return!¡±


    I emptied the plastic bag and put the old games in, then got up and walked to the entrance and hung the bag on the door handle. Then I sat down next to Lidima a little closer than before.


    She was focused on the game.


    I put my arm behind her without touching.


    ¡°What¡¯s with the bag?¡° Lidima asked.


    ¡°Oh, they¡¯re some old games I have to return tomorrow at the library,¡± I said.


    ¡°What? Why do you borrow games?¡± she asked, while still focused on the TV.


    ¡°Ehm, well I need to save money. Also, there¡¯s this cute librarian I like¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh!¡± Lidima turned her head for a moment. It seemed I¡¯d gotten her interest, ¡°how far are you in seducing her?¡±


    ¡°Oh, well¡­ not really. I¡¯m not really that good with girls. I can¡¯t understand them...¡±


    ¡°Well, well. Lemme help you out tomorrow then!¡± she said with a smile, then turned her head again and stopped talking and focused on the game.


    ¡°Eh, okay? Thanks for the help,¡± I said.


    Some more time passed with her focused on the game.


    I didn¡¯t know what else to say, so I got up and microwaved some food for us. Then got back to the bed with the plates.


    ¡°Food¡¯s ready,¡° I said.


    Lidima didn¡¯t react.


    I looked at the TV.


    She was playing an online multiplayer first-person shooter. The only game I owned because my brother gave it to me years ago back when he gave me this gaming console. And she was absolutely dominating the game.


    ¡°Holy shit!¡± I said as I watched her play.


    I saw her take no damage and use advanced strategies and an impossible reaction time.


    I got an idea.


    ¡°Quick suggestion: If you lower the quality of the screen you get a faster frame rate,¡± I said.


    ¡°What does that mean?¡±


    ¡°Ehm¡­ it¡¯s faster if I show you. Pun intended.¡±


    I then lowered the quality.


    ¡°Try now,¡± I said.


    She started playing.


    ¡°Whoa, it¡¯s way faster now!¡±


    She had only played the game for one hour but she was now winning matches dying zero times and getting fifty to a hundred kills per match.


    I was pretty sure by this point she was the best player in the world.


    After the last match ended, she tossed the controller to me.


    ¡°I¡¯m booooored!¡± she said


    And that¡¯s that I guess.


    ¡°Oh, I made some food,¡± I said and pointed to her unfinished plate on the bed.


    ¡°Oh! Yayyyy!¡± she said and started eating the cheap microwave food, ¡°This is delicious!¡°


    ¡°Yeah, and it¡¯s cheap relative to its quality. For only 30 kr a piece you can get these amazing ready-made meals at L?meks. Though I try not to buy too many or it gets really expensive.


    The cost of food is a problem for me. I¡¯m 185 cm and need to eat a lot, so I spend more money on food than rent, which doesn¡¯t help if you¡¯re a poor part-timer.¡±


    ¡°Huh, is that so¡­¡±


    I don¡¯t know how she lived up until now, but I could tell the being a wage-slave experience is one she never had.


    While she was eating I opened up the shrooms.


    ¡°Smells so bad. And I even got the less smelly ones,¡± I said.


    Lidima looked at the shrooms. Her face grimaced at how ugly it looked.


    ¡°Wait here for a minute¡­¡± I said.


    Lidima continued eating her meal.


    I went over to the kitchen and crushed up the shrooms and mixed them with lots of sugar and sour candy.


    When I came back to the bed she was done eating her meal.


    ¡°This should mask the taste. Ladies first.¡±


    We each ate half of the mixture.


    ¡°The sugar reminds me of you,¡± I said.


    ¡°What?¡± Lidima said.


    ¡°I mean, you smell like sugar,¡± I said.


    ¡°Wait, what! You can smell me? But that doesn¡¯t mean you just have abnormal perception, it means your cells can interact with soul-EM and¡ª¡±


    I got closer to her to sniff her.


    ¡°Don¡¯t fucking touch me!¡±


    My heart almost stopped. I moved away from her.


    ¡°Oh, eh, sorry¡­ The shrooms should hit in a bit,¡± I said.


    ¡°Ughhh¡­ What was I saying? I¡¯m so booooreed,¡° Lidima said.


    ¡°Wanna watch tv?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, sure.¡±


    I used my gaming console to turn on a streaming app. I put on a sci-fi show about a crazy scientist grandfather and his grandson.


    After how she yelled, I felt awkward. But that feeling was soon washed away when I got high.


    I couldn¡¯t stop laughing. I looked at my hands. All the colours and shapes were alive. I could feel my sense of logic and self getting switched off.


    I looked at Lidima.


    ¡°Whoa, this is cool,¡± she said and looked around. Then she looked at my face.


    ¡±Your face is weird, ha-ha!¡±


    My face probably looked more reptilian from the psilocybin.


    ¡°Now you look more like the dumb insects you humans are!¡±


    In an instant, her right pointing finger was in front of my face. She moved it closer and caressed my nose.


    There came a crashing sound from the TV and with lightning speed she turned her head and jumped back.


    ¡°It¡¯s just the TV,¡± I said.


    ¡°Yeah, I know,¡± she said.


    I was expecting she would gracefully wash her finger with the wet napkin after touching me, but the drugs were distracting her from her usual behaviour.


    I felt dizzy and laid down on the bed.


    ¡°You¡¯re really cool Lidima. I think I love you. Maybe this is a dream and you won¡¯t be here tomorrow when I wake up, but I hope not.¡±


    Then a wet whisper blew into my ear.


    ¡°I¡¯m not leaving you for fifteen years, Ticker¡­¡±


    When she said that, my chest felt warm and all my worries dissolved.


    I yawned. I was sleepy.


    I could hear Lidima getting up from the bed and walking around the room as I closed my eyes and my mind drifted away.

 Part 2

    Day 2, the second day, two days before the flying head


    As the sun awoke, so did I, as well down below.


    The first thing I felt was warmth and softness. And a pleasant smell of sugar. And I could feel a warm breath hitting my chest.


    I opened my eyes and saw my arms wrapped tightly around Lidima¡¯s back and her legs wrapped around mine. Her head was snuggled under my head into my chest, and her arms were like a squirrel¡¯s on my chest. We were laying next to each other tightly embracing.


    I can feel her touch me, but it¡¯s like she almost has no weight to her?


    I could feel my morning wood poking her belly.


    This was the first time in my life I had woken up tightly embracing a beautiful girl, and it felt amazing.


    She was still asleep. I studied her face. She looked so gentle and kind asleep. I stroked her hair.


    ¡°Such a pretty face,¡± I unconsciously said aloud.


    Her eyes opened. Right away her face lost its gentleness. And in the next moment she kicked me across the room.


    Thank god I didn¡¯t hit the TV.


    ¡°Don¡¯t fucking touch me!¡°


    ¡°Aw, sorry!¡± I said. When she kicked me away I hit the ground hard and rolled on the floor until I hit the wall.


    ¡°What the hell¡¯s wrong with you you could have broken my TV or computer!¡± I said.


    ¡°Hmph!¡±


    How is she so strong anyway? She only gave me a light kick and it sent me flying...


    I checked my phone. As usual, Fatdiva had sent me a million texts and calls and wrote I had to come to work today as well.


    Fuck no! Yesterday was supposed to be my day off! And¡­


    I looked at Lidima.


    She was laying sideways on the bed, her head resting on her hand. My eyes couldn¡¯t help but look at her hips.


    ¡°I¡¯m boooooreeeed!¡± she said.


    I¡¯d rather spend the day with this hot girl.


    I kept scrolling through my texts. That¡¯s when I saw it.


    ¡°That fucking asshole!¡±


    ¡°What happened?¡± Lidima asked, intrigued at the sign of entertainment.


    I got this text from my brother: ¡°bro please answer me! I told you to stop buying drugs. please just come home and let¡¯s¡ª¡±


    I deleted the message.


    ¡°My brother and I share the same drug dealer. I made him promise to not talk about me to my brother, but of course he did.¡±


    ¡°Is that so¡­¡± she said,  ¡°anyway, I¡¯m booooooreeed. What¡¯s for entertainment today?¡±


    Is having fun all this girl thinks about?


    ¡°Ehm¡­ for now let¡¯s go to the kebab place nearby. It tastes great,¡± I said.


    ¡°Yaayyyyy!¡±


    She¡¯s easy to please.


    ¡°Hey,¡± I said, ¡°I was thinking, can you tell me more about demons and my ¡®ability¡¯? Oh, do you have any abilities as well?¡°


    ¡°I do have a couple of abilities. Should I tell you? How about¡­ nope! Ha-ha,¡± she said and smiled at me.


    ¡°Come on, don¡¯t be a tease. How about this, you tell me something and I¡¯ll tell you the really exciting thing I have planned for us today?¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ Okay then. I said I was sentenced to 20 years. Twenty is the number of fellow pure demons I committed crimes again.¡±


    ¡°Wait, what crimes?¡° I said.


    ¡°No-No, your turn!¡± She laughed femininely which gave me a hard on.


    ¡°Well¡­ Absolutely fuck going to work today! So¡­


    Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes.


    ¡°¡­ how about I buy some drugs, like molly, for us today?¡±


    Please say yes. I¡¯m hoping the molly gets you horny¡­


    ¡°Yayyy! That sounds fun!¡± she said.


    Fuck yeah!


    ¡°Okay then, it¡¯s a plan,¡° I said and texted the drug dealer, ¡°My dealer usually responds within a few hours so we can get it then. By the way I¡¯m curious, how do you know about drugs if you¡¯ve only spent five years in this world?¡±


    I didn¡¯t expect her reaction.


    ¡°Pfttt!¡± she looked at my face with disgust and offense.


    ¡°This boring garbage dump world you call home has only a fraction of the excitement and entertainment and wild stuff Hell has to offer!


    She must be homesick, I guess¡­ Also, I think I remember her saying she was called ¡®Devil¡¯ in Hell?


    ¡°Talking lower life form insects like you should die out before trying to compare yourselves to pure demons!¡±


    ¡°Okay, sorry. Didn¡¯t mean to offend you. You must really miss home¡­¡±


    ¡°Hmph! I¡¯m taking a shower! A disgusting lower life form was just all over me!¡±


    Pretty sure you were the one clinging to me¡­


    She stormed off to the small bathroom.


    I just got a great idea!


    ¡°I mean, I¡¯m pretty sure you were the one happily snuggling me, but okay...¡± I mumbled to myself as she left.


    As I heard the shower turn on, so was I turned on.


    In the small bathroom there¡¯s supposed to be a key to lock the door but I lost it a long time ago. So if you look through the keyhole¡­


    Holy. Shit!


    In there, I saw the most beautiful life form in existence. Even if you digitally manipulated a photo, you could never achieve the figure and proportions I saw.


    Her hips were amazing. Her pussy was small and beautiful. Her boobs were perfectly sized and in no way saggy. No wonder she didn¡¯t need a bra.


    She was gracefully scrubbing her body.


    Oh shit no! I don¡¯t wanna hear her yelling again!


    I was sure that for moment I saw her look at the keyhole. But then she looked away.


    She then in a sexy way wiped her boobs.


    Those nipples are magnificent!


    As I kept peeking, my ecstasy kept increasing.


    Oh, ups¡­


    I accidentally came.


    I kept staring at her even after the loss of control. I wanted to burn her body into my eyes. If I turned blind and the last thing I saw was forever in my vision, I would have been fine.


    When she was done showering, she got out of the bath to dry herself  and closer to the keyhole I was peeking from.. Again, it was a very small bathroom, so she was almost right in my face.


    Ups¡­ I did it again.


    When she was done wiping herself, she put on her clothes. Or rather, there was a black ball on the ground. And when she grabbed it, it changed shapes and colours and turned into her outfit. But I was too horny to take note of that. I was just saddened that that body was no longer nude.


    For paradise to exist, so does hell.


    When she put on her clothes, I was filled by a happy sadness. Luckily she still looked hot as hell even dressed.


    Oh shit she¡¯s coming out!


    I quickly jumped away. I also grabbed a towel nearby to hide my drenched pants and hard-on.


    I could hear her opening the bathroom door.


    God, now she¡¯s gonna yell at me¡­


    ¡°Okay, I¡¯m ready,¡± Lidima said when she came out.


    Oh, I guess she didn¡¯t see me then?


    ¡°Ehm¡­ just a minute I gotta hit the bathroom too.¡±


    Ah yes, her smell¡¯s still inside!


    Inside the bathroom my heart was pumping and hands shaking. I dropped to the ground naked with my back against the cold bathroom tiles. But even that couldn¡¯t rob my warmth.


    I stood up and looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. Then that worry came back¡­


    I always feel like people don¡¯t want to be around me.


    Usually right now I would just be bored and already playing video games. I can¡¯t believe how exciting she¡¯s made my life. It feels like this will all go away any minute now. I can¡¯t have my life go back to the way it was!


    ¡­


    When we headed out, I saw the old games hanging on the door handle.


    ¡°Oh, we have to swing by the library too,¡° I said.


    ¡°Okay, but food first.¡±


    ¡°Of course,¡± I said. I opened the door for her. ¡°Ladies first.¡±


    We made it to the kebab place and I ordered for us. It cost 60 kr for two medium sized kebab rolls, which is expensive.


    ¡°I¡¯m boooooreeed!¡° Lidima said as we were waiting for our food.


    I almost got embarrassed by her saying it so loudly, but remembered that no one could hear her. It was still weird getting used to me being the only one who could perceive her, but I had a little practise from the lesser demons, so it was fine.


    I couldn¡¯t respond because I didn¡¯t want to appear schizophrenic. I just looked at her and nodded.


    She left me and started walking around the kebab place.


    Where¡¯s she going? Meh, who cares.


    When she was gone I found myself humming:


    ¡°What should I do,


    De dum dum do


    Where should¡ª¡°


    What?!


    Lidima was smiling at me from behind the cash register. My entire body broke into a cold sweat. But then I remembered no one could see her.


    She fiddled with the register for a bit but it was locked. But the next moment another customer had to pay so an employee opened it up.


    While it was opened, Lidima casually grabbed all the bills right in front of the employee. But it was as if the employee couldn¡¯t see it.


    So if Lidima carries something it becomes part of her ¡®prescence¡¯ and no one can perceive it but me?


    Lidima walked back to me with her hands filled with cash.


    Our food was done so I went over to grab it and quickly got out of the place with Lidima following me. Out of habit I opened the door for her, and mumbled, ¡°Ladies first,¡± so no one could hear me.


    ¡°Yay! This is so delicious!¡± Lidima said while eating her kebab roll.


    ¡°Holy shit!¡± I said.


    I was holding 5000 kroner.


    ¡°This is almost what I make in a month!¡° I said.


    ¡°Is that so¡­¡± Lidima said.


    We were walking to the library while eating.


    ¡°So anything you hold becomes invisible to people? I should have guessed that or else you would look like floating clothes.¡±


    ¡°My clothes are made of soul-EM so no. But, yeah pretty much, since it would get wrapped up in my soul-EM-field until I let it go... But if I for example were to throw this kebab through the air it would appear like it came flying from nowhere.


    Soul-EM?


    ¡°So if I hold you do I become invisible?¡± I said.


    ¡°Yeah you would, since you¡¯d get wrapped up in my soul-EM-field. Not like I¡¯d let you touch me anyway though.¡±


    ¡°If you¡¯re standing in front of me, how can people still see me?¡± I said.


    ¡°Because unless enough of you is touching me and you¡¯re in my field, photons will still hit you.¡±


    ¡°Wait, but then¡­ if the photos pass through you which makes you invisible I should still be perceived because they don¡¯t pass through me?¡± I said.


    Lidima sighed.


    ¡°The photons don¡¯t pass through me. They leap, or rather, teleport. For example, if one photon hits my stomach at point a, then it teleport to point b at my back and travels out. Though sound and things can still touch me since I exist physically. I guess it¡¯s just wave-particles that do the teleport thing. And if someone touched me with their hand they wouldn¡¯t perceive me they would just perceive not being able to move their hand farther. Anyway, this is boring to talk about.¡±


    ¡°Wait, then doesn¡¯t that mean you¡¯re blind? Oh, now I feel bad for you¡­¡± I said.


    ¡°I¡¯m not blind! Idiot! It took me a boring year where I had to rely on echolocation, but I learned to manipulate my soul-EM field around my eyes to recreate the photons it came into contact with and shoot them into my retina,¡± Lidima said and sighed, ¡°next topic! Don¡¯t remind me of that boring year! This is boring!¡±


    ¡°No, that¡¯s really cool! I wanna hear more! Can you tell me about this soul-EM and field as well?¡± I said.


    ¡°Listen, this is boring. Stop asking me these kinds of questions,¡± Lidima said.


    ¡°Okay, okay. I¡¯ll stop. Hmmm¡­ Why am I even working that shitty job when I could just have you steal!¡± I said.


    ¡°Oh, is that so¡­¡± it looked like this question excited her more than the scientific ones, ¡°Well then, next time I see a lot of cash I¡¯ll steal it!¡± Lidima said. I should have not said that. I could have avoided so much trouble if I just didn¡¯t say that. But I didn¡¯t give much serious thought to what I said so I thought she was replying jokingly.


    ¡°Ha-Ha, yeah sure,¡± I said.


    She looked excited when I said the word steal. She must like crime, I guess...


    ¡­


    We were done eating and entered the library.


    At the reception I saw Luna smiling at me brightly. I like how cheerful she always is.


    ¡°Hello hello,¡± I said.


    ¡°Hello Ticker! How are you?¡±


    She always asked me how I was. It felt like maybe she cared.


    ¡°Oh, you know, the usual¡­¡±


    Lidima was in the background looking at Luna without saying anything. I could tell she was planning something.


    ¡°¡­ oh, I brought the old games,¡± I said and gave them to Luna.


    ¡°Are you gonna borrow some new ones?¡° she said.


    ¡°Oh no, it¡¯s fine.¡±


    I wasn¡¯t in the mood. I had completely forgotten about getting new games because of Lidima.


    ¡°Wow, that¡¯s a first time,¡° she said, ¡°did something happen?¡°


    She gave me a bright smile when asking.


    I then heard a wet whisper into my right ear.


    ¡°She¡¯s attracted to you. Let¡¯s fuck her!¡± Lidima said.


    What? And what do you mean by let ¡®us¡¯?


    That one caught me off guard.


    I forgot to respond to Luna¡¯s question.


    ¡°Are you maybe considering going back to university, ha-ha,¡± Luna said.


    ¡°Fuck no!¡° I said right away, ¡°School¡¯s a waste of time. Besides, if I want a good full-time job I can always just go to my CEO brother, but I don¡¯t want to. I¡¯m fine with being a part-timer.¡±


    ¡°Oh, okay¡­¡± Luna said.


    I made the mood awkward.


    Lidima elbowed my arm. ¡°What are you doing? Idiot! Say something funny.¡°


    Luna made a fake laugh to fill the silence, then she said, trying to change the subject, ¡°Hey, how about you tell me about the secret from yesterday? ha-ha,¡°.


    Lidima walked behind Luna and pretended to grope her boobs and made sexy noises to tease me. I got a hard-on.


    ¡°Look at these tits! Don¡¯t you wanna fuck them! Then be charismatic! Idiot!¡±


    I¡¯ve never seen this side of Lidima. She gets serious when she sees the chance for entertainment.


    ¡°Oh, well, I¡¯ll just have to tell you about it some other day, I¡¯m still not in the mood, ha-ha!¡±


    ¡°Oh my god, stop being such a tease!¡± she said and smiled. ¡°Oh, look at the time. My shift¡¯s over in ten minutes¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh yeah, that¡¯s great. I hate working as well,¡± I said.


    I saw Lidima face-palming.


    ¡°You know, I¡¯m really scared of walking home alone after that shooting. I even just read that the kebab place where the shooting happened just got robbed!¡±


    Oh¡­ News travels fast.


    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s really scary. I hope they catch him.¡±


    Lidima sighed. ¡°Okay idiot, repeat after me or we won¡¯t get to fuck her¡­¡±


    I decided to just do as Lidima told me to.


    ¡°Say¡­ I mean, you said you were afraid, right? I¡¯m headed in the same direction anyway¡­¡± I said.


    ¡°¡­ and say for a little bit so she isn¡¯t creeped out. Make sure you say you¡¯ll wait at the bus station so she doesn¡¯t have to worry about being seen by her coworkers,¡± Lidima said.


    ¡°¡­ so I can wait at the bus station for you and walk with you for a little bit,¡± I said, repeating everything Lidima told me verbatim.


    I was expecting rejection. I always feel like people don¡¯t want to be around me.


    ¡°Oh really! That¡¯d be great!¡± she said.


    Wait, what?


    ¡°Oh, okay then, I¡¯ll be waiting¡­¡± I said awkwardly and walked away.


    I would never in a million years have said that if it weren¡¯t for Lidima. I couldn¡¯t believe it worked.


    Lidima followed me. At the exit, I looked back and saw Luna waving goodbye and smiling at me.


    Holy shit her boobs are huge! I really wanna see her nipples.


    I opened the door for Lidima and said aloud, ¡°Ladies first.¡±


    Wait, did Luna or anyone hear that?


    I didn¡¯t dare look back to see if anyone noticed.


    Lidima laughed at me as she was walking out.


    While waiting at the bus stop, Lidima scolded me.


    ¡°Listen, idiot! From now on just do as I tell you to or you¡¯ll blow our chances! What are you, retarded?¡°


    ¡°I already told you, I¡¯m not good with girls¡­¡± I said.


    ¡°It¡¯s fine, it¡¯s fine¡­ I already said I¡¯d help you last night. Just¡­ I had no idea you were so socially retarded.¡± Lidima said.


    Wait, she was being serious? I¡¯d almost forgotten about that.


    ¡°Anyway, when is she coming¡­ I¡¯m so booooreed!¡±


    Lidima hated waiting.


    ¡°Oh, she¡¯s here,¡° I said when I saw Luna in the distance.


    As soon as she spotted Luna, Lidima was already telling me what to do and say.


    ¡°Hello hello!¡± I said, while Luna was clumsily walking over. It felt weird not seeing her behind the reception desk.


    Luna looked shy and didn¡¯t say anything. It made me feel nervous.


    Lidima was already talking, ¡°¡­ and then keep on talking. It doesn¡¯t matter what you say it can be the most meaningless stuff just don¡¯t say weird shit, just keep talking and taking the lead and have her follow you.¡±


    ¡°Shall we!¡± I said to Luna, and started walking and she followed me.


    ¡°Walk a little more in front of her, you idiot! You look like you¡¯re following her and it¡¯s creeping her out,¡± Lidima said.


    I did as she told me and walked a little in front of Luna.


    ¡°And keep making eye contact to lower her guard,¡± Lidima said.


    I kept making eye contact and talking casually and I actually felt like Luna was opening up more and the mood was less awkward even though I was doing all the talking.


    ¡°This one¡¯s really shy, probably a screamer in bed. Keep doing all the talking, and we might have a chance,¡± Lidima said.


    Why does she keep saying ¡®we¡¯? Also, didn¡¯t I say I¡¯d only walk with her for a little bit? We¡¯ve been walking a while now shouldn¡¯t I leave?


    I told Luna I had to text someone for a minute, and grabbed my phone to write my worries. Lidima read it.


    ¡°How¡ª Just how retarded are you?! Of course not! Words don¡¯t matter! Just keep walking and talking with her and doing what I say, okay?! God you¡¯re an idiot!¡±


    Suddenly Luna broke the silence.


    ¡°So¡­ when are planning to go back to school or get a real job? do you just wanna stay a part-timer for the rest of your life?¡±


    ¡°Well, I haven¡¯t really thought that far ahead¡­ I really hate school. Or any kind of commitment. You know, being a part-timer has its merits ¡ª I really hate working a lot so I can work the bare minimum of hours to pay the bills, then just play the rest of the day. And I don¡¯t have any responsibility. I really like it. Though of course I wish I were just rich and didn¡¯t have to work at all and deal with my shitty boss¡ª I mean, yeah. I hate having a boss.¡±Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.


    Saying boss really made my blood boil, but I couldn¡¯t say his name because Luna didn¡¯t know him.


    Lidima quickly said, ¡°Switch the topic to something meaningless. This conversation isn¡¯t going the right way.¡°


    ¡°So anyway, have you ever¡­¡° I said to Luna.


    I continued just talking meaninglessly for a few more minutes.


    ¡°This girl is horny and lonely and it¡¯s the middle of the day so her guard is down. Just keep doing what I tell you to and we can fuck her! Finally something exciting is happening. I haven¡¯t been involved in anything sexual for five damn years now!¡± Lidima said.


    Oh, there¡¯s her motive. I guess demons get horny too¡­ Then how come she gets mad every time I touch her? Oh yeah, she has that demon superiority belief going on.


    ¡°Walk a little closer to her while talking. If she moves away, then don¡¯t try to get closer. If she doesn¡¯t move, then keep the close distance,¡± Lidima said.


    I did as she told me, and walked a little closer to Luna. Then something surprising happened.


    ¡°Yes! She¡¯s horny!¡± Lidima said.


    When I walked closer to Luna, she got a little closer as well and brushed her arm against mine for a bit.


    I got a hard-on again and got a little excited.


    ¡°Hey, speak more slowly your voice is sounding feminine and nervous and it¡¯ll dial her off.¡°


    She was right, I hadn¡¯t noticed that I was talking faster. I slowed my voice and it went back to normal.


    Suddenly Luna stopped walking.


    ¡°Well, this is where I live¡­¡±


    Oh fuck! Oh shit! What do I say now?


    Then I heard Lidima telling me what to say and do.


    God, that¡¯s ingenious! I could never think of doing that on my own¡­


    ¡°Hey, I really have to pee. Can I use the bathroom?¡± I said.


    Luna smiled. ¡°Yeah, of course!¡±


    And I was in.


    We entered the small cramped one-bedroom apartment.


    I did as I was told by Lidima. I took my shoes off at the entrance. Almost said ¡®Ladies first¡¯ to Lidima but she stopped me. Then I used the bathroom.


    I sat on her bed and said, ¡°Let¡¯s watch a movie,¡± just as Lidima told me to.


    Luna happily agreed and grabbed her computer. When she sat down on the bed, she sat right next to me so our thighs were touching.


    After fifteen minutes, Lidima told me to say the following: ¡°My back¡¯s tired, let¡¯s lay down and watch.¡±


    When we were laying down, with our bodies touching, I tried hiding my boner.


    ¡°What are you doing? Don¡¯t hide it, idiot!¡° Lidima said.


    Because the bed was small, I was the one holding the computer. Then Lidima told me to do something risky.


    No way I can do that!


    ¡°Stop being a pussy!¡± Lidima said.


    I sighed.


    ¡°Hey Luna, can you hold the computer?¡±


    Because the bed was so small, I was lying flat on my back by the edge with her on my side against the wall. She was lying on her side with her stomach and crotch touching me.


    I made her switch positions with me. But the moment she tried to lay on her back, I grabbed her, put her on her side and pressed her against my body and put my arm around her stomach.


    I was again being careful to not poke her with my boner.


    ¡°What, so you can poke me but not her? Stop being a pussy!¡±


    I got a little annoyed by all of Lidima¡¯s comments, so pushed my boner against her.


    What now?


    I was gesturing to Lidima that I was confused.


    ¡°Hold that position for a little bit so the blood flows in her body to the right places.¡±


    The hell¡¯s that supposed to mean?


    I looked at her, confused.


    ¡°Listen, idiot, just do as I say. You¡¯re obviously shit at foreplay.¡±


    And so, we continued watching the movie in this position.


    ¡°Okay, now should be time. I can¡¯t have you fuck it all up, so...¡±


    Lidima grabbed my hand I was holding on Luna¡¯s stomach.


    She slowly touched Luna around her boobs but not directly on them. She also caressed Luna¡¯s hair and ears.


    Luna didn¡¯t talk while I was touching her.


    God I wanna squeeze those huge boobs!


    When I tried to grab her boobs, Lidima stopped my hand.


    ¡°What are you doing you fucking idiot! Are you trying to destroy the seduction and raise her guard!¡°


    She took control of my hand and started touching around Luna¡¯s boobs again. She then put my hand underneath Luna¡¯s shirt on her stomach.


    I pressed my boner into her again.


    Luna didn¡¯t react but her breathing was getting heavier.


    ¡°Okay good. Some girls are really sensitive about their breasts, but this one seems like the type that¡¯ll let you touch her boobs freely but not her pussy.¡±


    Lidima kept guiding my hands and I gently touched Luna¡¯s boobs on the outside, but not her nipples.


    ¡°Ehm¡­¡± Luna spoke for the first time, ¡°I have to use the bathroom really quick.¡±


    Oh shit! What now?


    ¡°Chill you idiot. She¡¯s just going to the bathroom to get ready. She¡¯ll probably take off her bra and put on pyjamas and wash her pussy. Keep watching the movie and when she comes back just get in the same position. We¡¯ll start doing some foreplay on her pussy. When it comes to this area, I¡¯m taking complete control and you¡¯re not doing shit!¡±


    As if you weren¡¯t in control before as well¡­


    I reached down into my pants and it was filled with pre-cum. I wiped it off at the edge of the bed. I still had a rock hard-on protruding from my pants.


    Luna came back in pyjamas and laid back down on the bed in the same position.


    Lidima was right!


    Lidima again grabbed my hand and put it slowly under the shirt. Luna wasn¡¯t wearing a bra anymore.


    My hand gently touched Luna¡¯s boobs around the nipple but not directly on them.


    God I fucking love boobs! Though¡­ they¡¯re kinda saggy? when she¡¯s wearing clothes they look way firmer. Not like Lidima where they¡¯re always perfect even in the shower¡­


    My hand started touching closer and closer to her nipples until I felt them getting erect. The movie was still going on, playing sound in the background, but I could hear Luna¡¯s breathing getting a heavier.


    Abruptly, Lidima took my hand away from her boobs.


    ¡°Now¡¯s time for the real magic. First, turn up the volume all the way up on the movie and from now on breath heavily into her ears so she feels comfortable making sounds. Since you¡¯re an idiot you didn¡¯t notice she¡¯s been trying to inhibit the noise she makes because you¡¯ve been so silent. Which is bad news for us!¡°


    I did as Lidima told me to. Then she guided my hand again and put it on Luna¡¯s hip.


    ¡°You¡¯re lucky this one¡¯s horny and the shy type. Usually I would have started complaining and making excuses at this point naturally.¡±


    What?


    For the first time I thought: How is Lidima so good at this? Is she lesbian?


    As if reading my mind by looking at my face, she said:


    ¡°Fuck off! I¡¯m not a lesbian¡­ I just know what I like. I¡¯m only helping you out because I haven¡¯t gotten any action for so long now¡­¡±


    Wait? She¡¯s treating this like interactive porn! Not that I mind, but still! And now I¡¯m getting a little self-conscious that she can see my boner¡­ and a little more turned on by it as well.


    While my hand was on Luna¡¯s hip, I tried to touch Lidima¡¯s leg since she was so close.


    ¡°Don¡¯t fucking touch me!¡° she said and grabbed my hand and put it back on Luna¡¯s hip.


    I made Lidima let go of my hand. My belt was hurting me so I took it off and tossed it on the floor.


    ¡°Heh, bold move,¡± Lidima said and grabbed my hand again.


    She started circling around Luna¡¯s pussy but never touching it directly. She kept touching and touching gently. Then she got closer and closer and was now just above Luna¡¯s pussy rubbing from outside her pyjamas.


    I heard Luna make some sounds.


    Now my hand was under Luna¡¯s pyjamas and rubbing gently on her panty fabric right at her opening.


    ¡°Oh, you feel that?! This bitch¡¯s already wet!¡±


    Lidima sounded really excited. This had been the longest she had gone for without saying ¡®I¡¯m booooreed¡¯.


    I kept rubbing and rubbing until Lidima put my hand inside her panties. There I could really feel the wetness.


    ¡°Stay on the outside and a little into the entrance. Don¡¯t put your finger fully in yet until she¡¯s warmer and wetter.¡°


    Lidima kept giving me advice as she guided me.


    ¡°Okay, now take off her pyjamas roughly and rip off her panties! Don¡¯t be gentle, it has to be shocking. After doing that put her on her back and spread her legs like this.¡±


    Lidima was getting really into this. I did as she told me. And Luna made a few surprised sexy noises.


    ¡°Okay the next step is kind of complicated, but put one finger in. If her pussy¡¯s on the bigger side, put more fingers in. Try to get as many fingers in as possible like this,¡± she said and showed me.


    At first, I could only put one finger in but after a few minutes I could put in two, and soon I could put four in and almost my entire fist.


    When I looked at Luna¡¯s pussy, it looked saggy and big and fat and ugly.


    ¡°Now, use this motion. Luckily you cut your nails recently. Just keep using this motion.¡±


    She made me use the ¡®come towards me¡¯ gesture.


    At some points she made me stop and only lightly rub the outside of Luna¡¯s pussy..


    Why are we stopping? Shouldn¡¯t we keep going?


    I looked at her confused.


    ¡°How inexperienced are you? If you don¡¯t give her breaks it¡¯ll be painful. We have to increase her tolerance in rounds.¡±


    Increase her tolerance in rounds? The hell¡¯s that supposed to mean?


    ¡°Okay keep going. You feel that small ball on the left side? Keep rubbing the inner side of that. I¡¯ll tell you when to stop.¡±


    I did as she told and the small ball kept growing bigger and bigger. It was now that I was noticing how much water was coming out.


    The water ¡®splish-splash¡¯ sounds were especially loud and I had never heard this before.


    ¡°Okay! Now¡¯s time for the last round! Put in all your energy and really, really rub it! Come on! Faster! Faster!¡°


    Luna started moaning really loudly and I was gasping for air and my arm was cramping.


    That¡¯s when it happened.


    Whoa¡­


    ¡°Mission complete,¡° Lidima said as she let go off my hand and reached for a wet napkin in her pocket.


    Luna squirted and squirted.


    I looked at her face and she had her eyes closed and kept gasping.


    I saw Lidima gracefully wash her hands with the wet napkin then throw it somewhere randomly on the floor.


    ¡°Okay now you can do pretty much whatever you want. You could even pee on her face and she probably wouldn¡¯t mind in the state she¡¯s in. Though her pussy is on the bigger side, watch out when thrusting or you¡¯ll hit a bone and shatter your penis.¡±


    ¡°How do you know all of this?¡± I accidentally said aloud. Luna didn¡¯t react.


    ¡°Hmph! I¡¯m a connoisseur of the hedonistic arts!¡±


    I decided to just fuck Luna missionary while groping her boobs.


    Her pussy felt big and loose and I couldn¡¯t feel anything inside her.


    I put her nipples in my mouth. I got really in to it and was just about to come.


    I then noticed the excited stares of Lidima.


    ¡°Hey, you should grab her hair and choke her and come on her face! This one looks like she likes it nasty!¡±


    What the hell¡¯s wrong with Lidima¡­


    I considered her suggestion, but thought it¡¯d be pretty rude.


    I came on her stomach and boobs.


    Right away post-climax clarity hit me like a rock.


    I looked at Luna¡¯s body and her boobs.


    Huh?


    Now that I looked at her, she was a little chubby. And her boobs a little saggy. I still thought her boobs looked nice, but compared to Lidima¡¯s they looked bad.


    I looked at her then at perfect, hot, beautiful Lidima. I sighed.


    I¡¯ve gotta get Lidima high tonight so I can fuck her!


    Luna she was in a position where her head was resting on her chest and she had a huge double chin.


    I still liked fucking her, but compared to Lidima she was ugly was how I was feeling. And the desire to fuck Lidima arose in me.


    I studied those nipples I¡¯d wanted to see for so long. And they looked disappointing. Really big and veiny.


    Just for the heck of it I grabbed her boobs again and squeezed them together and tried to pop them up to make them look like Lidima¡¯s, but it didn¡¯t work.


    I used to think her boobs were the best in the world, but now, meh.


    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you come on her face and rip her hair?¡± Lidima said. She looked disappointed.


    I just had a realization. Lidima helped me not to help me, but to help herself. She wants to live vicariously through me since she can¡¯t interact with anyone. That¡¯s what she meant by ¡®let us¡¯.


    So as long as I keep the Devil entertained, she won¡¯t leave me. And I have to make sure she doesn¡¯t leave me. I won¡¯t have my life return back to boredom. But then again, I¡¯m her only source of interaction so she really won¡¯t ever leave me for the next fifteen years, whether I like it or not.


    ¡°Hey baby, can you get me a towel before it dries?¡° Luna said.


    Baby?


    I was so caught up in my thoughts I didn¡¯t even notice her.


    ¡°Yeah, sure. Wait a minute.¡±


    I was sitting on top of her and got off and let go off her boobs. I gave her a towel from the bathroom.


    ¡°You want food? I can make some really quick for us?¡± Luna said and got up. She went to the bathroom and peed and cleaned herself while talking. It was disgusting to hear the sound of her peeing and talking at the same time while I was outside the bathroom. She didn¡¯t even close the door.


    ¡°Oh¡ª eh, no thanks. Just ate,¡± I said.


    I looked at Lidima. She was walking around the one-bedroom apartment.


    ¡°I¡¯m booooreed!¡± she said. She was back to her usual self.


    Then Luna came up to me naked and grabbed my arm and squeezed her saggy boobs against me.


    She gave me a cheerful smile. Then she grabbed her phone.


    ¡°He-he, you wanna go again, huh? I know you really like me but let¡¯s wait till later. Hey baby, I just remembered, I haven¡¯t gotten your phone number yet.¡±


    Why does she want my number? And what¡¯s with the ¡®baby¡¯?


    ¡°Oh, yeah, here¡­¡±


    I typed it in on her phone.


    ¡°You know, I haven¡¯t had a boyfriend for a year now. He broke up with me. Such a small dick and an asshole. Not like you. Anyways I¡¯m so happy we¡¯re together now. You¡¯re so good in bed! And your dick¡¯s so big. Also my mom yesterday was like¡­¡±


    We¡¯re together now?


    Now that she was comfortable she kept talking and talking. I wondered where that shy librarian went. It was like she was another person now. And her voice sounded deeper as well. When she was at the reception she always spoke high-pitched.


    ¡°I¡¯m boooreed!¡± Lidima said in the background.


    When I heard Lidima sexy, feminine voice I was again turned off by Luna.


    I looked around the small, strange apartment and felt suffocated.


    I wanted to run away. I hate commitment and responsibility.


    That¡¯s when I heard a text from my phone.


    Thank god!


    ¡°Oh, I¡¯ve gotta go now, I¡¯ve got plans,¡° I said to Luna.


    ¡°Oh? You want me to come? When are you coming back?¡±


    When am I coming back?! The fuck does she think this is.


    ¡°Ehm¡­¡± I didn¡¯t know what to say. I mumbled something and went to the bathroom to pee and clean myself. Then I grabbed my stuff and headed straight for the door.


    ¡°See you later baby!¡± Luna said and out of nowhere tried to kiss me on the mouth.


    I reflexively turned my head and she awkwardly kissed my neck.


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± I mumbled and went out.


    ¡°About time,¡± Lidima said.


    I opened the door for her and said, ¡°Ladies first.¡±


    I heard Luna behind me say, ¡°Eh?¡± then chuckle like it was a joke.


    ¡°See you later baby!¡± she said as I headed out. I didn¡¯t look back. ¡°Oh, where¡¯d this wet tissue come from¡ª¡±


    I slammed the door.


    ¡­


    Lidima and I were now standing in front of the drug dealer¡¯s apartment door.


    I was still annoyed that he told my brother I bought drugs.


    ¡°I¡¯m gonna scold him for snitching to my brother,¡° I said.


    ¡°Is that so¡­¡± Lidima said.


    Whenever she¡¯s bored by what I say she responds with ¡°Is that so¡­¡±. It¡¯s annoying.


    I knocked on the door to the apartment. From behind the door I could hear someone moving in a panic.


    ¡°Who the fuck is it!¡± said the drug dealer.


    I was sure he was looking at me through the peephole, but paranoid drug dealers are paranoid. Especially after they¡¯ve killed someone.


    ¡°Hello hello, it¡¯s Ticker,¡± I was a little annoyed.


    ¡°What the fuck do you want?! Why are you here?¡± he said.


    Huh? This is unusual.


    ¡°What do you mean? You texted I could come,¡± I said.


    I heard a lot of key and clicking sounds. The door opened.


    ¡°Okay, just fucking hurry up!¡° said the drug dealer.


    When he opened the door, I saw a short sweaty guy with big muscles holding a gun. He looked high and paranoid, and had bags under his eyes.


    He stuck his head out the door and looked to the left and right.


    ¡°Fucking hurry up!¡° he said and used his gun to gesture to me to come in.


    For a second while gesturing, the gun pointed in my direction. In that instant, Lidima was in front of me blocking the path of the gun.


    Lidima, in a voice that sounded annoyed, said, ¡°Tell him to put away the gun or I¡¯ll kill him now.¡±


    Whoa¡­ chill Devil.


    While I entered, I said, ¡°Hey bro, can you put away the gun.¡±


    He slammed the door and used its many bolts and chains to lock it.


    He looked down at his hand as if just noticing he was holding a gun.


    ¡°Oh, yeah, sure,¡± he said and tugged it behind his back.


    Lidima stopped standing in front of me but was still close by on guard. I had never seen her act like this.


    There was an awkward silence. Usually the drug dealer would be very talkative and ask about his sister. But he just went straight for the big suitcase and opened it up on the floor.


    I had planned to scold him about snitching to my brother but I felt the mood wasn¡¯t right.


    Right after he opened the suitcase, he ran back to the door and double-checked all the locks and looked through the peephole again.


    Lidima and I were looking at all the drugs.


    ¡°Whoa!¡± Lidima¡¯s eyes were wide open and she looked impressed and excited.


    Even though the mood was tense, the sight of the big opened magical suitcase filled to the brim with drugs still gave me the same reaction as always.


    Beautiful! Magnificent!


    The drug dealer came back.


    It was then that I noticed Lidima wasn¡¯t next to me.


    Where¡¯d she go?


    ¡°Okay, hurry up. What do you want?¡± he said.


    Where¡¯s the usual, ¡®whaddup bro¡­¡¯ and trying to act like my friend?


    ¡°Just two molly, the best you¡¯ve got.¡±


    ¡°Huh? You usually never get this¡­ you don¡¯t even buy weed. Must be a girl,¡± he mumbled to himself. ¡°Okay, 1000 kr,¡± he said and put his hand out offensively.


    You¡¯re not gonna give me one for free like last time?


    I took out 1000 kr from the 5000 kr Lidima stole and gave it to him.


    He quickly shoved the two pills into my hands.


    ¡°Okay, hurry up and leave!¡± the drug dealer said.


    Bad customer service. I wish drugs were legal so I didn¡¯t have to be annoyed by this rudeness.


    ¡°Yeah yeah, I¡¯m leaving now,¡± I said and headed for the door. The drug dealer followed me. That¡¯s when I looked back and saw what Lidima was doing.


    What the hell! What the hell are you doing! Are you out of your mind?


    The drug dealer spent a minute looking through the peephole. Then he unlocked the door.


    ¡°Okay, hurry up!¡± he said.


    ¡°Yeah yeah!¡± I said as I headed out with Lidima.


    If you weren¡¯t the only drug dealer I know I wish they¡¯d lock you in for murder.


    He slammed the door and used its many bolts and chains to lock it.


    ¡­


    ¡°Why did you do that Lidima!¡± I said while we were running away.


    Lidima was laughing hysterically. She was carrying the big magical suitcase full of every kind of drug and on her shoulder was a duffel bag full of cash.


    We were still inside the apartment complex running down stairs and hallways.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong with you!¡± I said.


    ¡°What? you told me to do it,¡± Lidima said.


    ¡°The hell are you talking about?¡°


    ¡°After getting the kebab? You said the next time I see a lot of cash I should steal it?¡±


    This girl has no sense of repercussion!


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t being serious!¡± I kind of was, but this certainly wasn¡¯t what I meant.


    ¡°The drug dealer¡¯s reaction to this and the changes it¡¯ll make to my life will be annoying to deal with.¡±


    ¡°Why should he assume it was you? He saw you leave without anything. Anyway, who cares!¡± Lidima said then laughed.


    ¡°Mhm¡­ yeah you¡¯re probably right. Meh, I¡¯ll just deal with it later if something happens. How much did you get?¡± I said.


    We stopped running. Lidima opened the duffel bag while smiling.


    Holy shit¡­


    ¡°Beautiful! Magnificent! Good job Lidima! I love you!¡±


    ¡°Ha-ha, you¡¯re welcome.¡±


    I wanted to hug her but stopped myself.


    Just then, up ahead, I saw bad news.


    No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Why now? no, no, no¡­


    ¡°Oh no! Hide! I mean, hold me! Lidima, make me invisible,¡± I said.


    Why did I just get a boner?


    ¡°What? Why? No. What¡¯s wrong with you? I¡¯m not touching a disgusting human,¡± she said.


    ¡°I need to hide right now. You said if you hold me I¡¯d be invisible too. Come on.¡±


    ¡°Nope. Don¡¯t fucking touch me.¡±


    ¡°You see that group of men in expensive business suits down the hallway heading our way? That¡¯s my brother and his workers. It¡¯ll be annoying having to deal with him.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t fucking touch me,¡± she said.


    ¡°Come on, I¡¯ll do anything. I¡¯ll owe you a favour then.¡±


    ¡°As if I give a shit.¡°


    I gave up. Soon the group was right in front of us.


    Huh?


    I could hear their annoying, loud voices.


    ¡°¡­ So this old bitch is like: Uuuu will it really help my dementia. And I¡¯m like, bitch: Just bring out your credit card already!¡±


    I heard the ugliest laughs. I recognized the group as my brother¡¯s workers, though I couldn¡¯t spot my brother among them.


    They passed us.


    ¡°Oh, false alarm. My brother wasn¡¯t there,¡± I said.


    Lidima looked annoyed.


    ¡°What¡¯s your deal?¡± she said.


    ¡°Oh, he¡¯s just such an annoyance. I avoid him at all costs. I subscribe to the philosophy of running away from your problems. Anyway, let¡¯s head home and do drugs,¡± I said.


    Please let my plans work. Please let my plans work. Please let my plans work¡­


    ¡°Yayy! Finally,¡± she said and went back to being excited.


    I started laughing.


    ¡°What¡¯s so funny?¡° Lidima asked.


    ¡°Those assholes are headed to the drug dealer. I hope they get into a fight.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I didn¡¯t even think of that!¡± Lidima said. This made her even more excited and I heard her give out a sexy, devilish laugh.


    At the time, I had no idea how big of a mistake I had just made and its repercussions.


    ¡­


    We were back at my cramped one-bedroom apartment.


    ¡°Ladies first,¡± I said as I opened the door for Lidima.


    ¡°So what¡¯s for entertainment now?¡° she asked.


    ¡°Well, you start off gaming while I make dinner. Then we¡¯ll do molly later. I also wanna count how much money there is in the duffel bag.¡±


    Dear lord, hear my prayers, please let the molly make her horny.


    ¡°Yayyy! I¡¯ll get started,¡± she said and sat on the bed, picked up the controller, and crossed her legs femininely. I turned on the TV and gaming console for her and put on the game she played last night.


    I then went to get the ready-made meals ready. Usually I wouldn¡¯t eat them two days in a row, but now money wasn¡¯t a problem.


    What a weird feeling not having to worry about food costs. I still can¡¯t believe it.


    I poked holes in the plastic wrappings of the meals and put them in the microwave. While I waited, I opened up the duffel bag.


    Whoa! This feels like a dream.


    Before I started counting it up, I opened the big suit case as well.


    Beautiful! Magnificent!


    I looked over at Lidima to see her reaction but she was focused on the game.


    For a moment I felt paranoid, so I hurried over to close the curtains which are always closed. Then I went back to the money.


    There were some bundles of 1000 kr bills, but mostly bundles of smaller bills like 50 kr and 200 kr.


    Then I had a greedy thought upon seeing all this money.


    Would have been great if he put the 1000 kr I gave him in the duffel bag before Lidima stole it.


    I started counting it up. I only got one third the way through counting it when I heard the microwave beep.


    I ignored the microwave and kept counting.


    Is this even happening right now?


    Holding all that money felt weird.


    ¡°255 thousand kroner.¡±


    I make 50 thousand kroner a year if I¡¯m lucky. This is 5 years of work right here!


    I couldn¡¯t help myself. I had to do it.


    ¡°Lidima, hey, stop playing and come over here.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s up?¡° she said. She looked curious.


    I grabbed one bundle of cash, unwrapped it, and tossed it across my apartment.


    ¡°AH-HA-HA-HA!¡±


    I was laughing hysterically.


    Lidima got in on the excitement and joined me in throwing around cash. We threw it on the bed, in the kitchen, on the floor, in the bathroom, everywhere. Soon my entire apartment was covered in cash.


    ¡°Hey, pose on the cash and let me take a photo,¡± I said.


    Lidima liked the idea and did a sexy pose.


    I took the photo and checked it.


    ¡°Oh yeah, I forgot, sorry,¡± I said.


    The mood died down a little. Lidima looked like she regretted getting caught up in my mood.


    When I looked at the photo on my phone she wasn¡¯t in it.


    ¡°Dumb question, but why aren¡¯t you on the photo? How can I see you?¡°


    ¡°You can see the soul-EM-photons I naturally constantly emit. The camera can¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°Huh¡­¡±


    I looked at her while she was playing.


    God she¡¯s so hot and beautiful!


    I wished at that moment that I knew how to paint so I could capture her beauty.


    ¡°I wish I knew how to paint so I could capture your beauty, Lidima.¡±


    ¡°Huh!¡± she said. She looked at me embarrassed.


    The words just came out of my mouth. I shouldn¡¯t have said that, I thought right away.


    Wait, this is the first time I compliment her, right?


    ¡°I-I¡¯m flattered¡­¡± she said. She quickly turned away and continued her game.


    Wait, is this the same Lidima? Why is she flustered? I expected her to say something like, ¡°Don¡¯t fucking touch me!¡± Maybe I really do have a chance of fucking her¡­ Please let the molly work.


    I went back to the cash-covered kitchen and put the microwaved meals on plates and grabbed some utensils.


    ¡°Dinner¡¯s ready,¡± I said and went over to the bed and put the plates on it and sat next to Lidima and started eating. She was still focused on the game so she didn¡¯t eat yet. There was a lot of cash on the bed as well so I wiped it onto the floor.


    I kept watching her play and was impressed by how good she was.


    After a while when I¡¯d finished eating, she abruptly stopped playing and started sniffing.


    Why did I just get turned on?


    ¡°Yayy! It smells delicious,¡± she said and started eating.


    I resisted the urge to try to sniff her again.


    I wonder why she smells like sugar?


    ¡°By the way, how can you smell if you said that soul-EM rejects non-soul-EM?¡±


    ¡°Ughh! Stop asking boring questions. Like I said, my body and its field is made entirely of soul-EM. Soul-EM can¡¯t interact with non-soul-EM, but since both are physical matter, when they hit it will cause them both to reject each other. My sense-cells register this rejection. For example, sound hitting my eardrums or molecules hitting my smell-taste-receptors. This rejection is the same reason why I¡¯m not sinking into the floor right now.


    Though I will say my senses are greatly reduced since


    this rejection sensing is very infrequent. Because on the way to my receptors, about 99% of the molecules are rejected by other soul-EM in my field or body.


    Back in the Demon World my senses are orders of magnitude better. Here they¡¯re only twice as good as that of a normal human.


    And I hope that was the last boring question you ask me.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, sorry for asking,¡± I said.


    But then how can you eat food and do drugs? Meh, you¡¯ll probably say something following the previous rejection logic. But I still want to know about this ¡®field¡¯ you keep talking about¡­


    Lidima looked over at the big open suitcase filled to the brim with drugs.


    ¡°So, what are we trying today?¡° she asked me.


    ¡°Ehm, we¡¯ll go with molly only tonight. We can try other drugs tomorrow. I¡¯m curious how you react to adderall and coke.¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± she said.


    ¡°The molly will take a while to kick in, though this is pure so it shouldn¡¯t take too long,¡± I said.


    I pulled out the pills.


    ¡°Okay, gimme,¡± she said.


    ¡°Wait, there¡¯s actually a special way you have to do it¡­¡± I said and laughed.


    ¡°What? How?¡± she looked excited when I said this.


    ¡°You do it like this. You stick out your tongue, then you put it on the center, show it to the other person, then swallow it like this.¡±


    I did it like I told her.


    ¡°Oh, okay,¡± she said.


    She took the pill. Then she looked me in the eyes and stuck out her tongue and put the pill on it. Then she swallowed it and smiled.


    God she¡¯s so damn sexy¡­


    She continued eating her meal.


    I can¡¯t let her leave me, ever. I need to fuck her.


    ¡°You know¡­¡± I said, ¡°¡­ now that I have all this money¡­ I¡¯ve always wanted to move away from this small, boring, empty town. I was thinking of maybe heading to Copenhagen or some big city. D-Do you wanna come with me?¡±


    She looked confused.


    ¡°I told you I¡¯m not leaving you until my sentence is over,¡± she said.


    ¡°Oh yeah, right. That¡¯s gre¡ª you said you were in Copenhagen before you went here right?¡°


    ¡°Huh? When¡¯d I say that?¡± she said.


    ¡°Oh, I don¡¯t remember¡­ I think when you were talking to yourself while eating the pizza I made.¡±


    ¡°Oh yeah, that was the worst pizza I¡¯ve ever tasted,¡± she said.


    ¡°Not my fault, if I get bad ingredients and a bad oven the food tastes bad.¡±


    ¡°Is that so¡­ But yeah, I was in Copenhagen before I came here. It¡¯s pretty boring there, every human city is. Though it¡¯s way better than this place.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯d you do during the last five years you were here?¡° I said.


    ¡°Oh, you know, this and that. Running experiments, observing reactions, and such.¡±


    Experiments?


    ¡°What do you mean by experiments?¡±


    At that moment, I also heard a text from my phone whiich distracted me.


    ¡°Oh¡­¡± she hesitated for a moment as if hiding something, ¡°you know, just trying out different things. Learning about the humans¡¯ insect-like culture.¡±


    ¡°Oh, okay,¡± I said.


    I glanced at my phone and saw it was just a text from Luna so I ignored it.


    At the time, I should have asked Lidima more what she meant about experiment and reactions, then I wouldn¡¯t have been so shocked later on. But I was too horny and focused on fucking her.


    When she finished eating she went back to playing.


    It took a while, but then the drugs hit.


    ¡°Ha-Ha, I¡¯m starting to feel weird,¡± Lidima said while smiling.


    The drugs had hit her but not me yet.


    ¡°Oh really?¡±


    Now¡¯s the time!


    She seemed to be light-hearted.


    I sat closer to her so our thighs were touching.


    She didn¡¯t react.


    Okay great! Usually she would say something like, ¡®Don¡¯t fucking touch me!¡¯


    ¡°How is the molly making you feel?¡± I said.


    ¡°I dunno ha-ha. I can¡¯t stop smiling. I feel so great!¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s really good,¡± I said and touched her shoulder.


    She kept playing, but I could see her face had gotten flushed.


    ¡°Oh no! I died. I¡¯m starting to lose my focus, ha-ha.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry your k/d is 50 to 1 this match, you¡¯ll be fine.¡±


    I considered if I should do the whole movie and foreplay routine like she taught me with Luna, but I didn¡¯t feel like it.


    I put my hand on her curvy hip, and pressed her into me.


    ¡°What are you doing, ha-ha,¡° Lidima said.


    ¡°Oh, nothing.¡±


    While she had her eyes on the TV, I took a look at her face.


    I saw clear white skin. Perfect naturally red lips. And a small cute nose. Her bangs covered her eyebrows some places in different lengths and on the sides covering her ears her hair reached down to her neck.


    This is the hottest girl I will have ever met in my life.


    I sniffed her and braced for impact¡­


    ¡°¡­¡± she said nothing.


    ¡°I love your smell, Lidima.¡±


    ¡°Oh, is that so, hehe¡­¡±


    I looked down, her shirt was unbuttoned a little so I saw her clavicle and smooth skin. And that she wasn¡¯t wearing a bra.


    Then I saw two not too big not too small, perfect breasts pressing out against her shirt, with her nipples poking through the fabric.


    I wanna squeeze those perfect boobs!


    I picked her up and put her on my lap and hugged her stomach and sniffed her hair. Lidima kept holding the controller and didn¡¯t react and continued playing.


    Why is she so light? she almost has no weight.


    ¡°Ehm¡­ I don¡¯t¡­¡± Lidima said. She kept looking at the tv and focused on her game.


    ¡°What are you doing, Ticker?¡°


    Isn¡¯t this the first time she said my name? I don¡¯t remember the last time she¡¯s said it.


    ¡°Oh, nothing,¡° I said.


    I couldn¡¯t resist, I had to do it¡­


    Beautiful! Magnificent!


    ¡°Hey, ehm¡­ can you stop that?¡± Lidima asked.


    ¡°No.¡±


    I went from cupping her boobs to now caressing her nipples.


    Those nipples are magnificent!


    ¡°Hey, listen¡­¡± Lidima said, ¡°¡­ I know you¡¯re really horny, but¡­ I know you were peeking at me through the key hole and¡ª¡±


    Of course she spotted me. She told me that her senses were twice as good as a normal human.


    ¡°I knew you fucking saw me! Then why did you let me keep looking and even did a fucking sexy pose!¡°


    Now the molly was hitting me. From behind I ripped open her shirt and grabbed her boobs and touched her nipples directly.


    ¡°H-Hey! Stop it!¡±


    ¡°God these boobs are fucking amazing. Not saggy at all like that fat slut!¡±


    There was a minute of silence as I kept groping. Lidima made involuntary sexy noises.


    ¡°O-Okay¡­ but no more than this, please,¡± Lidima said.


    I¡¯ve never seen her submissive like this before. Whenever I try to touch her she always has her guard up.


    I noticed that my boner was poking her butt.


    ¡°I have to go to the bathroom,¡± she said.


    ¡°Fuck that!¡± I said.


    I got rough and pushed her down on the bed and got on top of her.


    ¡°Hey!¡± she said. She kept her hands in a feminine defenceless pose on the sides. Yet I knew she could make me fly across the room with a light swipe.


    She¡¯s always so strong and on guard all the time. I¡¯ve only seen glimpses before, but I am now seeing her true feminine nature.


    I ripped open her pants and panties. I didn¡¯t do any of those complex fingering techniques she taught me. I just put a finger inside her.


    Whoa!


    I could barely get one finger in.


    ¡°Your pussy is so fucking tight! I can barely get this finger in! Why did I even waste time with Luna¡¯s saggy, big and fat and ugly pussy.¡±


    When I looked at Lidima¡¯s pussy, it looked tight and small and pretty.


    It felt so warm and wet. Lidima didn¡¯t say anything.


    I put my face closer to hers and tried to kiss her pretty lips. She moved her face away the last second.


    ¡°Don¡¯t fucking touch me!¡± she said.


    So you¡¯ll let me grope your boobs, push you down, touch your pussy, but I can¡¯t kiss you?


    ¡°Shut the fuck up!¡±


    I remembered what she told me to do to Luna and assumed she wanted it herself.


    With my left hand I grabbed her hair, and grabbed her throat with my right, then I kissed her.


    Tastes like sugar.


    I could hear her gasping for air when I was done kissing her.


    Demons probably don¡¯t even need air.


    I put my finger inside her again and felt that small ball in the middle of her pussy and heard that splish-splash sound again.


    But I didn¡¯t feel like doing all that work I did with Luna.


    Holy shit!


    ¡°AAAHHH! It hurts!¡±


    When I fucked Luna, her pussy felt big and loose and I couldn¡¯t feel anything while inside her.


    ¡°God, your pussy is so fucking small and tight! You feel so great!¡±


    Her tightness hurt me a little, but I was too caught up in the pleasure.


    Lidima kept looking away. Her entire face was red.


    When she¡¯s horny, her face gets red.


    I grabbed her face and made her look at me. She closed her eyes.


    ¡°Look at me!¡± I said, but she kept them closed.


    I started involuntarily moaning and I could see her mouth open a little and her moaning silently as well.


    I grabbed her wrists and pushed them down while fucking her.


    It still feels weird seeing this usually strong and in control, prideful girl want to be dominated and doing submissive, feminine gestures.


    For one second Lidima opened her eyes and I saw her pure yellow irises stare right into me.


    Oh¡­ ups.


    Post-climax clarity hit me like a rock.


    Right away I felt sleepy and dizzy and my entire body was shaking.


    I took one last look at Lidima¡¯s perfect, hot, beautiful body.


    I smiled.


    Unlike last time with Luna, I felt amazing and no disappointment looking at her.


    Her body is a million times more perfect and feminine than Luna¡¯s.


    Just for the heck of it I grabbed her boobs again and squeezed them. Unlike Luna¡¯s, her nipples didn¡¯t look ugly, and I didn¡¯t have to try to mold her boobs to make them look perfect. They were already perfect. Everything about Lidima was perfect.


    I yawned. I was sleepy.


    I fell down on my back and grabbed Lidima and put her head on my chest.


    ¡°Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!¡±


    For some reason Lidima gave out six cute light and feminine sneezes.


    A little of her saliva hit my mouth. I licked it.


    Sugar.


    ¡°I think I love you, Lidima. Please don¡¯t leave me.¡±


    As I closed my eyes and my mind drifted away, I heard Lidima say:


    ¡°I¡¯m never leaving you, Ticker¡­¡°


    When she said that my chest felt warm and all my worries dissolved.

 Part 3, ending of vol. 1

    Day 3, the last day, the day of the flying head


    I woke up to a warm body touching mine and Lidima¡¯s head still on my chest. Like she did last night, she felt almost weightless. It felt nice being touched.


    I felt horrible from the withdrawel.


    I stared at the top of Lidima¡¯s head. I wanted to caress her hair, but I remembered how it went last time.


    Is she breathing? I barely feel any movement from her.


    I didn¡¯t want to fly across the room again, so I carefully switched myself with the pillow so she didn¡¯t wake up.


    I got up and looked for my phone.


    ¡°Oh, I forgot¡­¡±


    It was hard to spot it in the cash covered apartment.


    When I finally found it, I saw a lot of texts from Fatdiva. He was complaining about me not coming in yesterday and leaving early the day before, and told me I better not think about not showing up today.


    Yeah right! As if I¡¯ll ever go back to that place again.


    Just as I was about to write a two page ¡°Fuck you I¡¯m never coming back I hope you die¡± text to Fatdiva, the usual daily text from my brother interrupted me.


    ¡°bro i¡¯m not sure if you¡¯re in trouble, but please come home. also please! don¡¯t buy any more drugs because he is acting like a¡ª¡±


    I deleted the message after reading two words.


    Just the usual blah-blah. I wish he¡¯d stop bothering me. But if I blocked him then he¡¯d probably try to find my new address like last time and show up. Such an annoyance to deal with¡­


    I also saw a text from Luna.


    ¡°Hello Ticker. What are you doing today? I¡¯m really bored can you come see me at the library?¡°


    ¡°Hey!¡± Lidima said from behind.


    I turned around and saw Lidima on the bed. In an instant, she was standing in front of my face with a murderous look.


    ¡°Last night never happened. Don¡¯t even think about fucking touching me again. Got it?¡±


    ¡°Y-Yeah,¡± I said.


    ¡°Ughhh! I¡¯m booooreeeed,¡± she said.


    ¡°How are you so fresh? Don¡¯t you have withdrawal?¡±


    ¡°Hmph! Don¡¯t dare compare a pure demon to an insect human. Anyway, what¡¯s for entertainment today?¡±


    ¡°Not sure¡­ I¡¯ll come up with something new and exciting. But today we should splurge and eat something delicious. How about¡­ Chinese buffet?¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s that? Sounds delicious!¡° Lidima looked excited again.


    ¡°It is delicious, you¡¯ll see see¡­¡°


    Lidima looked around the apartment.


    ¡°It¡¯s so messy here. Clean up,¡° she said.


    I jumped back on the bed stomach first.


    ¡°Meh.¡±


    I started scrolling through my phone and playing mini-games.


    ¡°I hate it being messy where I sleep,¡± Lidima said and started picking up the cash.


    I didn¡¯t look and continued playing. Then I started hearing paper-crunching sounds.


    I looked up.


    ¡°What are you doing?! Stop!¡°


    ¡°What?¡± Lidima looked confused.


    I got up and stopped her.


    Lidima was tearing up and crushing the cash into balls.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what world you came from, but stop destroying my cash! If you crush it up and rip it it¡¯ll be worthless.¡°


    Lidima had a shocked look on her face.


    ¡°Hmph! I¡¯ve only studied human culture a little, but you insects are so hard to comprehend. You have such a weird and impractical and boring society. And your value system is so arbitrary and based around paper.¡±


    ¡°What?!¡±


    I grabbed the ruined cash from her and counted how much she¡¯d destroyed. It was about 10000 kroner.


    ¡°Why the hell would you tear it into pieces and form it into balls?¡°


    ¡°Well¡­ the closest thing we have to a value system like you humans is trading Threedebiopem. And that always takes a ball-shape.¡±


    ¡°Threedebiopem? The hell is that?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not the official name in Hell, but that¡¯s just what we call it. It¡¯s a combination of 3-D Bio-Programmable-Matter.¡±


    ¡°O-Okay?¡±


    That sounded fascinating and I would have asked more, but I was too hungover and she probably would have replied with the usual, ¡±stop asking boring questions¡±.


    ¡°Okay, just¡­ I¡¯ll clean it later. I gotta do something first though.¡±


    I went to the bathroom.


    I haven¡¯t trained in a week now. I feel horrible but I don¡¯t wanna get ugly.


    I hung myself from the pullup-bar attached to the bathroom door and did pullups.


    ¡°One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Ehm¡­ what are you looking at?¡±


    Lidima was right behind me, staring.


    ¡°Hmph. You humans are such boring, underdeveloped organisms. You need to train and sleep and eat. And your technology is so primitive that everyone meaninglessly has to work every day like slave ants in a nest. Human culture is so inferior¡­¡±


    ¡°Wait, but you sleep and eat too?¡± I said.


    ¡°Yes, but for pleasure. Not as slavery like you.¡±


    ¡°Oh-oh-kay¡­ why are standing behind me though?¡±


    ¡°M-Move! I have to use the bathroom and wash myself because¡ª¡±


    She stopped herself and looked embarrassed. I got out of the way before she pushed me.


    ¡°Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!¡±


    Again, Lidima gave out six cute light and feminine sneezes.


    ¡°Why are you sneezing? Do you have a cold or something?¡± I said.


    ¡°Of course not. I¡¯m immune to all disease. When a pure demon sneezes six times in a row it means something¡­ though can¡¯t quite remember it. Must have been boring information¡­ Anyway get out of the way!¡±


    She went into the bathroom and slammed the door.


    She¡¯s so cute when she¡¯s like this¡­ Let¡¯s eat some eye candy!


    I peeked through the keyhole again.


    Huh?


    It was completely sealed with something black. I tried pushing it out and even grabbed a knife to tear it loose, but it was mushy and stayed in place. And when I tried to pull it out it would just slither right back into formation.


    ¡°God! This sucks!¡±


    I wanted to see her magnificent body again.


    In defeat, I went back to doing my calisthenics.


    I looked at the cash covered apartment while doing pushups. And looked at the sorrowful stash of ruined cash.


    Apropos throwing money out the window¡­ I just got an idea! I know she¡¯ll love this!


    I stuffed my pockets with cash from the floor, then went back to training.


    While I was doing crunches, Lidima came out of the bathroom.


    ¡°Hey, Devil¡­¡± I said in an intriguing tone.


    She stopped and looked curious.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re going shopping!¡±


    Before we left I shuffled through the big magical suitcase and grabbed a salt shaker from it.


    ¡°What is that?¡° Lidima asked as we were leaving.


    ¡°It¡¯s a surprise, ha-ha! Ladies first!¡± I said as I opened the apartment door for her and we left.


    ¡­


    Lidima and I were now standing in front of the only mall in this boring, small town.


    ¡°Ladies first,¡± I said as I opened the entrance to the mall.


    I saw some strangers giving me weird looks as I held the door open for someone invisible.


    I felt embarrassed, but I¡¯d started caring less and less about strangers because Lidima stole all my attention and focus.


    I heard my phone buzz again.


    ¡°Who¡¯s it now?¡± Lidima said.


    ¡°It¡¯s Luna. She keeps writing me flirty texts and asking me to come see her. She¡¯s been doing it since last night. It¡¯s really annoying.¡°


    ¡°Why not fuck her again?¡° Lidima seemed confused.


    ¡°Fuck no! She¡¯s boring and ugly,¡± I said.


    And how can I ever go back to that fatty after last night¡­


    ¡°Anyway, this is where we¡¯re going first,¡± I said. We were in front of the game store.


    I grabbed a small cart.  I went to the DVD games section.


    ¡°No more old games!¡± I said.


    Without even looking at the titles, I grabbed all the new, expensive games for my console and tossed them into the shopping cart.


    ¡°Oh, you¡¯ll like this one, Lidima,¡± I said and showed her the latest version of the multiplayer first-person shooter game she liked playing.


    ¡°Oh¡­¡± she looked at it intrigued. She was probably already analysing the cover information to develop strategies.


    I grabbed a bunch of extra controllers and tossed them into the shopping cart.


    ¡°See, now we can play together. I only have one controller at home,¡° I said.


    ¡°Oh, is that so¡­¡±


    I walked to the Intendo Flip section.


    ¡°What was but a dream is now in reach¡­¡±


    I grabbed every kind of game I could see.


    ¡°Wait, we don¡¯t even have this gaming console, right?¡± Lidima said.


    ¡°You are indeed right, let¡¯s fix that!¡±


    Before heading to the register, I also grabbed some figurines and other gaming merch, because why not.


    When I made my request to the employee he looked shocked.


    ¡°Ehm¡­ okay, are you sure about this? This¡¯ll all run you up to about¡­ 38.0000 kroner.¡±


    ¡°Wait, throw this in as well,¡° I said and grabbed a bunch of gift and membership cards for paying online. Since I only had cash I couldn¡¯t use my credit card without inserting cash into my bank account, and I wasn¡¯t about to explain to the bank where I got all the money from.


    With a smug face and without saying a word, I pulled out the cash stuffed in my pockets. I gave Lidima a wink and she looked excited.


    Demon or human, girls love shopping.


    Lidima and I left the shop with me holding six big bags. I had bought tons of games and all the latest gaming consoles. Which of course included an Intendo Flip. I even bought a VR-headset, which I¡¯d wanted to try forever but never had the chance to.


    ¡°Ha-ha! This is really exciting!¡± Lidima said.


    ¡°I know, my heart is beating so fast!¡± I said.


    Strangers were staring at me holding all those bags and talking to someone invisible.


    ¡°I especially can¡¯t wait for you to try VR. Oh, that reminds me, we need to a buy a computer as well! My laptop can¡¯t run VR. And a bigger TV! I want one of those expensive high-resolution curvy ones. But first¡­¡±


    I looked around and found a bathroom sign.


    ¡°We have to do something important!¡±


    ¡°Hey,¡± Lidima said, ¡°I want the delicious food you talked about. Can we buy all those things later and eat that Chinese Buffet now?¡±


    ¡°Oh yeah, almost forgot. You¡¯re right, let¡¯s go now.¡°


    ¡­


    ¡°I¡¯ve never seen anything like this!¡± Lidima said.


    We were walking around the buffet putting food on our plates.


    ¡°Oh really? I thought you spent five years here on Earth?¡±


    ¡°I did, but I never went into a place like this. I only sometimes ate for pleasure, but I would always be disappointed by the low quality of the food in the human world,¡± she said.


    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s because you were going to the wrong places, especially if you stumbled into the restaurant I work at ha-ha!¡°


    She hasn¡¯t said ¡®hmph!¡¯ or called me an idiot for a while. She¡¯s quite pleasant to be around when she¡¯s not bored.


    ¡°Don¡¯t remind me, ha-ha!¡°


    ¡°So how¡¯s the food in the Demon world?¡° I said.


    ¡°We don¡¯t really have the same cuisine as here¡­ since demons don¡¯t need food to survive like you do, we only have ¡®tastes¡¯ you can get.¡±


    ¡°What? That¡¯s really cool.¡±


    That sounds fascinating. I need to find out more about her world later.


    ¡°What other differences are there? For example, technologies?¡±


    She¡¯s probably gonna be annoyed by me now¡­ she hates talking to me, I think.


    ¡°Well¡­ I would say the biggest difference is the lack of Shells, though you of course have inferior versions of it. Oh, and in general your technologies are so inferior. And all construction here is concrete, metal, and silicon based. You insects don¡¯t even have a single bio-machine! At least I haven¡¯t spotted any during my time here,¡± Lidima said.


    ¡°A bio-machine? Yeah pretty sure we don¡¯t have that here¡­ Oh, before I forget: This is the only place in this depressing city that serves pistachio ice cream. You have to try some, it¡¯s my favourite flavour.¡±


    ¡°Okay!¡± Lidima said.


    I feel if I keep asking questions she¡¯ll get annoyed, I¡¯ll stop for now. I hope this happy mood lasts all day¡­


    ¡­


    We were now done eating.


    ¡°Yayy! That was so delicious. You were right about the ice cream.¡±


    ¡°I know, I know¡­ Hey, come on we have to do something real quick,¡° I said.


    ¡°What?¡± Lidima said.


    ¡°That¡¯s a surprise¡­¡±


    ¡°Is that so¡­¡± Lidima said. It looked like I had her interest.


    ¡°Is it that drug you grabbed before we left?¡±


    ¡°Shhh! Keep it down,¡± I said.


    Wait, no one can hear her¡­


    ¡°He-he, okay okay,¡± Lidima said.


    ¡­


    I poured the cocaine from the salt shaker onto the bathroom sink¡¯s table. Then I took out my credit card to cut up the cocaine into small lines. I rolled a 1000 kr bill into a straw.


    ¡°So this is how you do it,¡± I said and snorted a line.


    ¡°AHHHH FUCK!¡±


    That was my first time trying cocaine. I don¡¯t even drink alcohol because it upsets my stomach. I only like doing small amounts of psychedelics for fun sometimes. I was only doing these harder drugs because of the Devil.You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.


    Lidima laughed at me.


    ¡°Let me, let me!¡± she said and grabbed the straw from me.


    She snorted two lines.


    She didn¡¯t make a sound, she just looked into my eyes. I could see her yellow irises shrink smaller as the black in her eyes became bigger.


    Her face is so close to mine. I wanna kiss her!


    ...


    A good way to throw a lot of money out the window is to go on a shopping spree coked up.


    I¡¯d gotten a big shopping cart and we were now store-hopping and just buying random stuff.


    I looked at Lidima.


    ¡°What is it?¡° she said.


    ¡°Don¡¯t you want new clothes?¡± I said, ¡°You¡¯ve been wearing the same thing these past three days. Doesn¡¯t it get dirty or sweaty?¡±


    ¡°Hmph! I don¡¯t sweat! And even if this got dirty, it¡¯s self-cleaning.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ okay? But don¡¯t you want to buy something new? In case you feel like wearing something different?¡±


    In the blink of an eye her clothes changed shape and color.


    ¡°What?!¡±


    ¡°Listen, insect, don¡¯t compare your inferior human clothes to demon technology¡­¡±


    Why did I even comment on her clothes? I¡¯m so stupid...


    She changed her outfit back to the previous one.


    ¡°¡­ I like this outfit the best because one of my friends helped pick it out for me. And I need to wear it at all times, so it might help her spot me¡ª Anyway shut up!¡°


    A friend?


    ¡°I didn¡¯t even know you had any friends. What¡¯s this person like?¡±


    ¡°As if I¡¯d tell you.¡±


    Switch the topic to not ruin the mood.


    ¡°Okay, okay. Anyway, we¡¯re here,¡° I said and pointed to the electronics shop.


    ¡°This is the one I¡¯ve wanted for so long,¡± I said and pointed to the big curvy high-resolution TV. ¡°10 k huh?¡±


    I counted the cash I had left.


    ¡°What, you don¡¯t have enough? Want me to go to the register and take more?¡° she said.


    How can she be so casual about stealing?


    ¡°Oh no, it¡¯s fine. I still have 30.000 left.¡±


    I grabbed the TV and put it in the shopping cart. Then I went over and grabbed the most expensive gaming laptop the store had, along with a mouse and keyboard.


    When I¡¯d finished buying everything we needed, I looked at the overflowing shopping cart.


    ¡°Mhm¡­ how are we gonna carry this all the way home? Oh, and we need to buy tons of food and snacks at L?meks! The expensive, non-generic, brand name kind! And all the ready-made meals they have!¡±


    ¡°Yayy! I really like the ones you put in the microwave,¡± Lidima said. ¡°But what do you mean carry it? Isn¡¯t the purpose of the cart to transport it home? And why do you have to drag it yourself? Why isn¡¯t it moving on its own?¡±


    So they already have autonomous vehicles in the Demon World, huh?


    ¡°Lidima, you¡¯re a genius!¡± I said.


    ...


    I kept getting stares from strangers walking by and cars kept honking at me.


    Though I was very high, I still felt embarrassed walking on the road with a shopping cart filled to the brim.


    I look like a total weirdo.


    ¡°I¡¯m booooreeed! Can I have more of that white powder?¡±


    ¡°Wait, did it already wear off? Don¡¯t you feel any withdrawal, seriously?¡±


    ¡°I already said I¡¯m not like you lower-life forms. I don¡¯t get sick¡ª Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!¡±


    Lidima gave out six cute light and feminine sneezes.


    I chuckled. Lidima looked pissed.


    ¡°If you aren¡¯t sick, how come you keep sneezing?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know! Shut up!¡±


    Oh no, she¡¯s angry again. Let¡¯s give her some cocaine.


    I looked around to see if anyone was staring. Then I took out the salt shaker.


    ¡°Okay, we don¡¯t have a table so do it like this.¡±


    I put some of it on my hand then I snorted it.


    ¡°AHHHH!¡± I said.


    Lidima laughed at me.


    ¡°Okay,¡± she said and grabbed the salt shaker from me. She put on about three times more cocaine on her hand than I did.


    ¡°Yes!¡± she said.


    She put her face right in front of mine and was smiling. When I looked into the abyss that was her pupils, it felt like she was staring into my soul.


    I wanna kiss her. I wanna kiss her. I wanna kiss her.


    Because my hands were shaking so much, I lost control of the shopping cart and the big TV dropped out of it.


    ¡°Oh shit!¡° I said.


    Just before it crashed into the ground, Lidima caught it.


    What?


    She was holding it with one hand as if it were made of paper.


    ¡°How can those slender, weightless arms do that?¡± I said.


    ¡°He-he, I¡¯m the strongest pure demon there is. How do you think I got the nickname Devil?¡±


    I had seen her supernatural strength before, but this just seemed absurd. She could probably lift a building right now and I wouldn¡¯t be too surprised.


    ¡­


    We left the shopping cart with all the stuff on the cash-covered floor inside my one-bedroom apartment. Then we ran to the local L?meks.


    ¡°You¡¯re so slow!¡± Lidima said tauntingly.


    ¡°Please forgive my puny, non-demon body!¡± I said as I was gasping for air.


    ¡°This is it! This is it!¡± I said as we spotted the L?meks.


    I grabbed a shopping cart.


    ¡°Hop on!¡° I said to Lidima.


    She laughed and jumped into the cart then I pushed her into the store.


    I looked like a maniac as I raced through the store with Lidima in the cart. We yanked random items from the isles and threw them into the shopping cart.


    ¡°Look at this! Organic milk! I always buy the unhealthy, chemical kind! I need to treat myself,¡° I said as I dumped ten litres of organic milk cartons into the cart.


    Eventually we passed a certain fridge.


    ¡°Look, Lidima: The holy grail!¡±


    ¡°Yayy! I remember, that tasted so delicious!¡± Lidima said.


    There was a stranger behind me going for the same item.


    ¡°You want this huh? Too bad!¡±


    I emptied all the ready-made-microwaveable meals into my shopping cart and raced away, with Lidima and I laughing hysterically.


    I feel so alive right now!


    While Lidima was in the cart, I could see her neck because her hair was tied up at the back in a ponytail.


    God she¡¯s so beautiful. I hope this never ends¡­


    While we were walking back to the apartment with me dragging the shopping cart with us, we spotted a lesser demon crawling around.


    ¡°Oh, this is the third one I¡¯ve seen this week. Maybe it¡¯s just me, but I feel like there¡¯s been more and more demons around lately¡­¡± I said.


    ¡°It¡¯s so disgusting!¡± Lidima said.


    She grimaced at it.


    ¡°I mean yeah it¡¯s kind of weird looking, but I don¡¯t find them too disgusting. This one reminds me of a cute puppy.¡±


    ¡°No, you just can¡¯t see! Right now I am looking at the soul-EM-photons it¡¯s emitting, and it¡¯s so disgusting. Eew!¡°


    ¡°Oh yeah, you said something about having way better vision in the Demon World.¡°


    ¡°They¡¯re attracted to large amount of soul-EM, so they always come to me. So disgusting.¡±


    As if it was attracted to Lidima, the lesser demon hopped over to her. To me it seemed like it wanted to play.


    Wait, what just happened?


    ¡°What the hell Lidima!¡°


    ¡°What?¡± she looked at me, confused.


    In the previous moment, the cute puppy creature was playfully jumping around Lidima, the next moment, before I could even blink, its body was cut in half.


    The lower half of the lesser demon stopped moving, but its upper half started shaking and looked like it was in pain.


    I let go of the shopping cart and crouched down to the lesser demon. I tried to put its two halves together.


    ¡°So disgusting. Can¡¯t even instantly regenerate,¡± Lidima said.


    ¡°Why the fuck did you do that, you bitch! What the fuck!¡°


    There wasn¡¯t any bleeding, but eventually the upper half of the faceless creature stopped shaking.


    The two halves of the creature then slowly dissipated into the atmosphere.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Why are you acting up?¡± Lidima said.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong with you! Why did you kill it?!¡±


    ¡°What do you mean? It was disgusting and bothering me. What¡¯s the big deal?¡±


    When she was talking about other lifeforms as ¡®lesser¡¯, does it mean that she could just casually kill a human passing by and not care?


    ¡°Okay I don¡¯t want to¡ª Just never kill in front of me. I hate death. And please don¡¯t just meaninglessly kill other creatures. You could have easily just kicked it away or something instead of¡ª I don¡¯t even know how you did that slashing thing.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I just kicked it really fast,¡± she said.


    ¡°Okay, just¡­ don¡¯t do that in front of me, please. Stop with the murder, it¡¯s really annoying. Now I have to live with that traumatic memory,¡° I said.


    ¡°Yeah, yeah, stop crying about it. Didn¡¯t know you were so sensitive,¡± she said and kept walking.


    Still in shock, I grabbed the shopping cart again and started pushing, while looking at the spot where Lidima killed the cute puppy.


    How can she be so ruthless and not have a care for death?


    ¡­


    We were now in front of my apartment.


    I brought all the grocery bags in and left the shopping cart outside. I didn¡¯t bother returning it.


    When I opened the door for Lidima, I half-heartedly said, ¡°Ladies first¡­¡±


    What the hell! I can¡¯t get the image of death out of my mind. It¡¯s not like I cared about the creature at all, but I still don¡¯t want to see that kind of stuff. God that was disgusting. I feel sick in my stomach. Doesn¡¯t matter, just forget about it.


    I snorted another line of cocaine.


    ¡°Hey! Me too, ha-ha!¡± Lidima said, and grabbed the salt shaker from me.


    Oh, no¡­ I shouldn¡¯t have done another line. It¡¯s gonna be annoying tomorrow when I crash. This is why I don¡¯t do drugs. And now I have a big suitcase full of it. I should just throw it out, along with Lidima probably¡­ What happened to the me who wished she would never leave? My lack of horniness from withdrawal symptoms happened.


    The cocaine kicked in. Soon my bad feelings disappeared and I was euphoric again.


    I heard a text from my phone. Lidima looked over.


    ¡°It¡¯s probably Luna again,¡° I said, and sighed.


    It was a message from Maggie.


    ¡°Hey, why didn¡¯t you come in yesterday? are you coming today? It¡¯s soooo boring without you. Please don¡¯t quit I don¡¯t wanna be alone at this job :(¡±


    Of course it¡¯s boring without me, I¡¯m the only one her age. The only one at the job who isn¡¯t old, ugly, and creepy. Maybe I can still fuck her¡­


    I set an alarm on my phone to remind me when it was time to go.


    ¡°I¡¯m gonna go to work later,¡± I said.


    ¡°What? Why? That¡¯s boring?¡±


    ¡°Maggie, that hot girl, remember? she wrote me and asked me to come. I might get to fuck her.¡±


    ¡°What? Really? But then you¡¯d have to work, that¡¯s boring. Why waste time going to work in the hopes of fucking? Let¡¯s just go to a brothel,¡± she said.


    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t be the same, I hate prostitutes,¡± I said.


    ¡°Do you just live by the commands of your dick?¡±


    ¡°Look who¡¯s talking, Mrs. Connoisseur of the Hedonistic Arts.¡±


    ¡­


    Lidima played her favourite game on the old gaming console as I set up and booted the new gaming consoles and the laptop and VR.


    I took me about an hour to set up the VR and load a game.


    ¡°Hey, Lidima. It¡¯s ready, come and have a look,¡± I said, while carrying the VR-headset.


    She looked intrigued.


    ¡°What is this?¡± she said.


    ¡°It¡¯s virtual reality. So you kind of get to experience being  in a game. The technology isn¡¯t that advanced yet, but it¡¯s a pretty cool concept,¡± I said.


    ¡°Mhmm¡­ Is that so. Lemme try.¡±


    She took the headset and I showed her how to put it on.


    She tried it out for a bit.


    ¡°Hmph!¡± she said, and carelessly tossed the headset on the floor.


    ¡°Hey, careful! It¡¯s fragile,¡° I said.


    ¡°Oh, yeah, forgot that human technology breaks easily. Anyway, this is just an inferior version of a Shell,¡± she said.


    There¡¯s that word again, ¡®Shell¡¯?


    ¡°What¡¯s a Shell?¡± I said.


    ¡°Well¡­ it¡¯s hard to explain. Its street name is Biocoarxo, but it¡¯s officially called bio-computer-artificial-extra-organ. But one of its functions, or the most popular one, is that you can simulate anything with one. I really hate it, it¡¯s made Hell so boring. It made half of all pure demons stop participating in the power struggles and just live out eternity as Hard Shells.¡±


    ¡°What power struggles? Is that why you were banished to Earth?¡±


    She gave me a mean look. ¡°Hmph. I¡¯m bored.¡± Then she went back to her game.


    ¡­


    Hours passed as we played games. When I got the new gaming console and TV ready, I played a fighting game against Lidima. And of course got destroyed.


    ¡°How are you so good at it already? We¡¯ve only played for half an hour,¡± I said.


    ¡°Call it talent, he-he.¡°


    Eventually even gaming got boring, and I started feeling really depressed from the withdrawal. My small apartment felt cramped because of all the new stuff.


    Lidima is hot and all, but I kind of miss my past peaceful life of boring routine where nothing ever happened. Or not. At least I miss not having withdrawals, I¡¯m never doing drugs again.


    ¡°I give up,¡° I said. I laid down on the mattress without touching Lidima. She didn¡¯t move from her spot and started playing online tournaments and winning them.


    ¡°I¡¯m never doing drugs again!¡± I said, while on the bed.


    I looked at the big magical suitcase in disgust. The entire apartment was messy and covered in cash.


    ¡°Hey, can you clean up?¡± I said.


    Lidima didn¡¯t respond. She was too absorbed in the game.


    That¡¯s when my alarm rang.


    ¡°Okay, time to go. You can stay here if you want to, bye,¡° I said.


    ¡°Yeah right, as if I¡¯m letting the only person I can talk to out of my reaction-zone.¡±


    Reaction-zone? What kind of weird term is that.


    ¡°Ehm, okay, you can come. Just¡­ don¡¯t do anything weird.¡±


    ¡°Did I ask for your permission?¡± Lidima said.


    ¡°Okay, chill. Ladies first,¡° I said as I opened the door for her.


    ¡­


    On the way to work, we passed the spot.


    ¡°Oh, this is where that really pretty girl sucked my finger and squeezed my balls,¡± I said.


    ¡°What¡ª Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!¡±


    Lidima gave out six cute light and feminine sneezes.


    ¡°Now that I think about it, she reminds me of you in a lot of ways. Both of you are also really pretty,¡± I said.


    ¡°Can you explain yourself?¡° Lidima said. She looked shocked and confused.


    I didn¡¯t expect that reaction from her.


    ¡°Mhmm¡­ nah you wouldn¡¯t believe me anyway,¡± I said.


    ¡°Ticker, tell me right now what happened!¡±


    She said my name. Feels weird to hear it aloud.


    ¡°Okay, chill. So on this phone box there was two lesser demons playing around a bottle, and one of them flew into it and it broke. You can still see the broken glass pieces around, though the two demons left long ago, lucky for them since you¡¯re here right now¡­¡±


    Lidima looked annoyed.


    ¡°¡­ anyway so I had this strong feeling of deja vu that gave me a small headache. Then this girl showed up, sucked my finger, then disappeared. Mhmm¡­ I don¡¯t remember everything that happened. I just remember how warm and happy she made me feel. That was the happiest I¡¯ve been in my life, I¡¯m pretty sure. I tried looking for her but couldn¡¯t find her. I hope I see her again, I¡¯ll try to ask for her out.¡±


    ¡°Ticker, explain what she did and said and how she looked,¡± Lidima said.


    ¡°Oh yeah¡­ So she had your exact eyes, pure yellow irises. Really beautiful. Her hair was completely black, the same length as yours. What else¡­¡°


    While I was talking she did something that distracted me.


    What the hell...


    ¡°W-What is it?¡° I said.


    She had this small, creepy smile on her face.


    ¡°Oh, is that so¡­¡± she said.


    Are you about to murder me? Or hug me?


    ¡°Y-Yeah¡­ anyway I¡¯m gonna be late,¡± I said and walked away from her quickly, hoping she wouldn¡¯t follow me.


    ¡­


    And so finally, we arrived in front of hell.


    Here we go again¡­ wait why am I back in this shithole?


    And of course, while I was regretting my life choices, from across the street I heard a short, fat, ugly, and balding Fatdiva scream at me in a high-pitched voice.


    ¡°Yeah yea,¡± I said to Fatdiva as I passed by him without even looking at his ugly face.


    I really wouldn¡¯t mind if a car killed him in an accident.


    ¡°Ladies first,¡± I said as I opened the door for Lidima.


    ¡°Who are you talking to?¡± Fatdiva said. I ignored him.


    We entered the gloomy, windowless stuffy yellow restaurant kitchen and I started my shift.


    As soon as I went into the kitchen, I heard a few tongue-clicks from the refugee workers.


    ¡°Yeah fuck off! Learn to speak Danish or go back home to your fat ugly wives who need to hide their ugly faces behind black cloth!¡±


    The refugee yelled back at me in some poor-person language which I didn¡¯t understand, then they ignored me.


    ¡°I¡¯m boooooreeeed! Why are we even here?¡± Lidima said.


    Why am I even here?


    ¡°Here you go, Ticker!¡±


    A smile appeared on my face upon the sound of a feminine voice.


    In my memory, her voice was higher-pitched than this¡­


    I turned around and saw a cute girl holding a glass of water filled to the brim with ice.


    ¡°Hello hello, Maggie,¡± I said.


    Immediately the thought hit me¡­


    I used to think Maggie was the prettiest girl in my life. But now¡­ she just looks, meh, average at best.


    I looked over at Lidima. She was staring absentmindedly at the wall.


    Holy shit Lidima is beautiful!


    ¡°Hey, I saw you in front of my apartment yesterday at the kebab place. Oh my god, did you hear! The kebab place got robbed! So crazy. First the shooting now this¡­ I¡¯m thinking maybe I should move,¡± Maggie said.


    ¡°Yeah, I really hope they catch the¡­ whatever.¡±


    I sighed. I realized how bored I was. I looked at Lidima.


    What are you doing, Lidima?


    ¡°You know,¡± Maggie said, ¡°I was thinking again about that movie you told me about. We have to watch it someday!¡±


    Lidima stop that!


    ¡°Ticker?¡±


    ¡°Oh yeah, what?¡°


    Lidima was behind Maggie pretending to grope her and making sexy noises.


    ¡°Hey, how about we give her some drug from the big suitcase and rape her?¡±


    I gave Lidima a look of ¡®no¡¯, and shook my head.


    ¡°Come on, don¡¯t be boring. How about I sneak into her house and take pictures of her naked. I can even smear a bottle of your cum on her face while she¡¯s asleep? Ha-ha!¡±


    God Lidima can get dark quickly as soon as she sees anything entertaining.


    ¡°I was saying,¡± Maggie said while a little annoyed, and moved closer to me to touch my arms, ¡°We have to watch that movie you told me about!¡±


    ¡°Oh, right¡­ yeah sure.¡±


    As if I care about your average body.


    ¡°Oh, but not today, he-he,¡± Maggie said.


    ¡°I¡¯m booooooreeed!¡± Lidima said.


    What am I even doing with my life¡­


    ¡°Oh my god, I¡¯m so scared of walking back to my apartment tonight¡­ first the shooting and now this robbery¡­¡±


    ¡°Why am I still working this shitty job?¡° I said aloud.


    ¡°What?¡± Maggie said.


    And of course, like a small snake slithering in the grass, Fatdiva appeared from out of nowhere to yell at me.


    ¡°Ticker! I keep telling you stop bothering Maggie!¡± he said and creepily put his hands on her shoulders.


    ¡°Want me to kill him?¡± Lidima said.


    ¡°No!¡± I said.


    ¡°What? What did you just say, Ticker?¡±


    ¡°Oh, he was just kidding, Fatdiva. He isn¡¯t disturbing me,¡± Maggie said, trying to ease the tension.


    ¡°Oh, fuck off Fatdiva! Fuck you! I quit! Everyone hates you and all the waitresses think you¡¯re ugly and smelly and hate when you sexually harass them. And we can all see the bald spots you try to cover up, you short fat fuck!¡±


    ¡°Ha-ha! Lemme join!¡± Lidima said. She kicked Fatdiva in the balls.


    He dropped to the floor in pain.


    ¡°Fatdiva, what¡¯s wrong?!¡± Maggie said, and took a step away from him. She seemed relieved that he wasn¡¯t touching her anymore.


    Why the hell am I even here when I have so much money!


    Just as I was about to head out while Fatdiva was on the floor in pain, Maggie grabbed my arms and stopped me.


    ¡°Hey, you can¡¯t leave yet. My brother¡¯s been asking around for you and I told him I¡¯d help find you. I already texted him and he¡¯s on his way here. Can you wait for a bit?¡±


    Fucking bitch!


    ¡°You fucking whore!¡± I said, and slapped Maggie¡¯s arms away.


    I rushed outside with Lidima following behind me.


    ¡°Not even gonna do the whole ¡®Ladies first¡¯ routine and open the door for me. So rude¡­¡°


    This was the first time I¡¯d forgotten to open the door for her.


    ¡°Just shut the fuck up!¡° I said.


    I felt like I was falling down and crashing. The withdrawal and stress hit me like a rock.


    ¡°What are you gonna do now?¡± Lidima said. She looked excited.


    ¡°I don¡¯t fucking know! Just shut the fuck up! This is your fault you stupid whore! Fuck! I¡¯m gonna fucking kill him!¡°


    Though I¡¯m taller than him, he weighs more than me and has bigger muscles. I¡¯d probably lose in a straight up fight.


    ¡°I¡¯m gonna run home and grab a knife!¡°


    ¡°But he has a gun?¡° Lidima said.


    ¡°I don¡¯t fucking know! But I¡¯ll fucking kill him!¡°


    Maybe I can trick Lidima into killing him...


    ¡°Well, better think of a strategy right now, no time for grabbing a weapon HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!¡°


    ¡°What--¡±


    I got bear hugged from behind and lifted into the air with my arms pinned.


    ¡°You¡¯re coming with me,¡± I heard the drug dealer say.


    ¡°GET THE FUCK OFF ME!¡±


    I started kicking and moving around.


    ¡°Hey, stop resisting!¡± he said while carrying me somewhere.


    I turned my head and spat in his eyes.


    ¡°Eeeww, fucking gross!¡±


    ¡°Lidima, kill him! Kill him right now! Lidima!¡±


    Lidima was laughing hysterically.


    ¡°The fuck are you talking to?¡±


    ¡°This is amazing! This is what I love about fights so much, you truly see who someone is!¡± Lidima said.


    I kept kicking the drug dealer and struggling and spitting in his face and elbowing him.


    ¡°Stop it! It hurts!¡°


    The drug dealer carried me to the private dumpster spot behind the restaurant. Then he tossed me on the asphalt.


    I landed on my back and the air blew out of my lungs.


    He sat on my chest.


    I felt powerless and humiliated.


    ¡°Now, listen¡ª¡±


    My arms weren¡¯t pinned, so I grabbed his face and poked him in the eyes.


    Bang! Bang! Bang!


    I was punched in the forehead three times and saw my vision go dark three times.


    He used his knees to pin my arms.


    ¡°Fucking listen, asshole!¡°


    I tried using my long legs to strangle him, but he punched me again.


    ¡°Fucking listen! I¡¯m not trying to hurt you!¡±


    I looked at his face. Then I noticed that it was covered in blue marks and that he had a broken nose.


    ¡°Your brother¡¯s friends came to my apartment last night and beat me up and robbed me!¡±


    He probably accused them of robbing him then they beat him up. Stupid paranoid drug dealer!


    ¡°Fuck you!¡°


    I spat him in the face again. I then bit his leg. He punched me again.


    ¡°Now listen, I just need to punish your brother a bit and get my shit back, so I need you to call him here, got it?¡±


    You need to punish him a bit?


    I looked over at Lidima. She was staring at me with an excited face.


    Fucking slut!


    ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll call him now,¡° I said.


    ¡°Okay, good, good. Thanks for making this easy.¡±


    He got off my chest.


    ¡°Now, just text him to¡ª¡±


    I punched him in the balls.


    I was already angry, but now I felt murderous rage. This loser broke into my life, beat me up, then acted like he was my boss telling me what to do, and now he wants to hurt my family. No, wants me to help him hurt my family.


    ¡°Aaaaawww!¡±


    He dropped to the ground holding his crotch.


    I kicked him in the balls again and again.


    ¡°Fuck you! I¡¯ll fucking kill you!


    I kicked him in the face so he fell onto his back, then kept kicking him in the balls.


    I sat on his chest and grabbed his face. It was wet and disgusting from snot and tears.


    He was yelling in pain with his mouth opened. I shoved my right fist in and grabbed his tongue.


    ¡°This is it! This is what I was looking for! Your fighting style is just like you! Completely selfish! So refreshing!¡± Lidima was screaming in euphoria.


    I shoved my fist deeper into his throat while grabbing his tongue. He started struggling and kicking with his short legs and grabbing my face and arms.


    Then he started vomiting and then choking on his vomit. It was disgusting. The vomit came out of his mouth on my hand and out of his nose. And he kept crying.


    I just wanted to kill him. He had humiliated me and made me feel powerless. I was full of indignation. And annoyed that this trash thought he had the right to disturb my life.


    ¡°Oh man, I wanted this to last a little longer¡­¡± Lidima said and sighed.


    What the fuck just happened?!


    I jumped back.


    ¡°Eeew, you lower life forms have so much fluid,¡± she said.


    She grabbed a wet napkin and gracefully washed her right shoe. Then she tossed the tissue randomly on the ground.


    Her pants got a little blood on them. I saw the pants and shoes clean itself.


    In front of me was the headless body of the drug dealer. I noticed that he was holding a gun. I realized that he was about to shoot me while I was choking him to death.


    I looked down at my right hand.


    ¡°Aaaaaaaah!¡±


    I saw a decapitated head stuck on my arm leaking blood.


    His eyes were open and he had the dumbest face. It looked like he was stupidly laughing.


    I tried shaking it off but my fist was stuck in his throat and his teeth were sunk into my flesh and I was bleeding.


    I kept trying to shake it off in a panic. Then I kicked it off my hand.


    I watched the head as it flew in the air, the head spinning around itself mid-air, then landing inside an open dumpster.


    ¡°That was so boring! I hate dilating time¡­¡± Lidima said.


    ¡°Lidima, you fucking whore!¡±


    I turned my head away from the drug dealer.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± she said.


    ¡°God that was disgusting! Why the hell didn¡¯t you stop him before! God dammit! God that was disgusting!¡±


    ¡°Chill, I just wanted to see you fight¡­¡±


    ¡°Never do that again! Look at my face! I could have gotten a broken nose, or chipped my teeth. Or maybe his teeth gave me some disease like hepatitis. God fucking dammit! And now I probably got brain damage from those punches! God that piece of fucking shit!¡±


    I then remembered the image of the flying head.


    ¡°God dammit! I didn¡¯t wanna see that!¡°


    In no way did I care about the drug dealer and I was glad he was dead. But I still found the murder disgusting to look at. I wanted to vomit.


    ¡°And now I¡¯m gonna have this traumatic memory replaying for the rest of my life. Thanks a lot, Lidima!¡±


    ¡°Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!¡±


    For some reason Lidima gave out six cute light and feminine sneezes.


    ¡°Oh,¡± Lidima said, ¡°I just remembered what it means when a pure demon sneezes¡­¡±


    This girl is crazy. She put me in danger just so she could have a little fun. And she was laughing throughout the fight. She¡¯s the most beautiful woman ever, but I have to get away from her.


    Lidima looked me in the eyes with her yellow irises, and said:


    ¡°I¡¯m pregnant.¡±