《Wedding Impossible》


 Chapter 1

    <h4>Chapter 1</h4>


    Na AhJung


    My life had never been like this.


    I wanted to call it weird that my wedding process with JiKyung was going so well. An obscure, 33 year-old actress who grew up in a below-average family getting married to a rich man? How could that possibly go well? Why had no one said anything against it? The unbelievably lucky flow of my recent life was making me anxious, like I was taking a ride on a falling roller coaster.


    It had been a few days since JiKyung¡¯s mother willingly allowed the marriage, and I was nervous that she woulde after me. Bribery, throwing a bucket of water, cheek-pping, I thought at least one of those things would happen. Yet, nothing went wrong until I was about to meet with his parents.


    JiKyung¡¯s mother, who sat in front of me, treated me, my dad and my step-mom with a gorgeous smile and friendly attitude. JiKyung¡¯s face was without any concern.


    Nonchntly he announced, ¡°We decided that AhJung wille into my house. Everything is almost brand new, so she won¡¯t have to buy anything.


    Isn¡¯t he the one who wants to cancel everything? Why would you say that when you are about to get married to a girl who doesn¡¯t bring anything at all, with a below-average background? With increased suspicion, I looked at him with wrathful eyes.


    However, when JiKyung made eye contact with me, he just smiled as if to assure me I did not need to be worried about anything. His weather-beaten skin made his white teeth stand out.


    ¡°Ay, It¡¯s not right,¡± said Jikyung¡¯s mother.


    I knew it. I swallowed saliva as I prepared to be scolded.


    ¡°How can the bride feel fresh when everything is used? Buy everything new besides the house.¡±


    ¡°Of course. I¡¯m going to take care of it, mom,¡± JiKyung assured her.


    In case he was about to say something unnecessary, I immediately responded to her. ¡°Actually, no. We do not need to receive anything from you. Just ask him to pay.¡±


    ¡°What? Of course not, buy everything you want,¡± she insisted.


    When I looked at JiKyung with curious eyes, he just shrugged his shoulders. Why does this marriage go this way?


    * * *


    ¡°Hey, does she know you are gay?¡± I asked JiKyung. I¡¯d left the meeting with the excuse that I needed to use the bathroom, and caught him.


    ¡°Of course not,¡± he said.


    ¡°If not, why would she do that? Do you have any issues other than that?¡±


    ¡°What are you talking about? It is just because you are my partner.¡±


    ¡°Are you kidding me?¡±


    ¡°I told you. My mom really thinks you are her daughter. That¡¯s why she wouldn¡¯t deny you.¡±


    Yeah, that¡¯s why he asked me for this marriage. When he¡¯d proposed, he¡¯d mentioned it. However, even though I was her deceased friend¡¯s daughter, it was still not understandable why she would ept our marriage considering my poor background.


    ¡°Well, I understand, but why would she allow me to buy stuff with her own money?¡± I asked.


    ¡°It¡¯s not a big deal. Why would we ask you to buy stuff for our marriage? I¡¯m not that stingy.¡±


    ¡°Buying all new things would cost more than I¡¯ve made in thest ten years,¡± I said.


    ¡°Wow, you just won the lottery! Congrats,¡± he said to me, and put his hand on my shoulder.


    His care-free attitude was very annoying, so I punched his shoulder. ¡°I¡¯m not in the mood for this,¡± I snapped.


    ¡°What do you want then?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Nothing, nothing! I already feel guilty about not revealing everything to her, and she¡¯s giving me too much. It makes me ufortable,¡± I exined.


    ¡°Well okay, if you¡¯d rather buy stuff for the marriage on your own, I¡¯m just going to give you money,¡± JiKyung said.


    ¡°No, I¡¯ll pay for it. It will be things we use together,¡± I insisted.


    ¡°You have no money though...¡±


    ¡°You are going to give me money as a marriage deposit. I will use that.¡±


    ¡°Hm. Why would you...¡± JiKyung shook his head with facial expression that I didn¡¯t understand.


    * * *


    After we returned to the meeting, we got back to nning.


    ¡°We are not that young, so we¡¯d like to get married as soon as possible. Within two to three months, is that okay?¡± JiKyung asked cautiously while looking at his mom and my parents simultaneously.


    In contrast, I lookedpletely at his mom. It was partially because I¡¯m not on good terms with my dad and step-mom, but even without that, I would have only looked at her anyway. She¡¯s the only one who could possibly be against our marriage.


    ¡°As soon as possible? Why two to three months, then?¡± she replied, as if it could be better to get married literally as soon as possible.


    ¡°I¡¯m going overseas for the next two months, you know that,¡± JiKyung said.


    ¡°Ah...right.¡± JiKyung¡¯s mom nodded and turned back to me with a tender smile. ¡°Get married whenever you feelfortable. Feel free to ask me if you are in need of anything.¡±


    Is she my real mom, and that¡¯s why she wants to take me as a daughter-inw? As I started to consider the necessity of a DNA test, I once again felt nervous and defensive. Did I even deserve this? Was it all just blind luck? Right at the moment, the door was thrown open so wildly that I turned around to see who it was.


    A man I had never seen before entered the room. He looked around angrily before fixing JiKyung with a cold stare.


    ¡°No way. You... why are you here?¡± JiKyung stuttered with wide eyes.


    What¡¯s going on, is he a lover? My face flushed with embarrassment.


    ¡°You should be in the U.S. now,¡± said JiKyung¡¯s mother. ¡°Why are you here? What about school?¡±


    The man fixed JiKyung with an icy stare, before turning to JiKyung¡¯s mother. ¡°Mom, are you crazy?¡± he asked.


    Mom? Is this guy JiKyung¡¯s only younger brother? He was supposed to be studying in America...but he doesn¡¯t look like JiKyung. This man is much taller than him and his skin is a lot paler.


    As I was studying his face, the man turned his re towards me. It felt so aggressive that I cringed. How can eyes be so big without double eyelids?


    ¡°I¡¯m against this marriage,¡± the man dered as if he was giving a warning. Then, he yelled to let the whole world know, ¡°I AM DEAD SET AGAINST THIS MARRIAGE.¡±


    * * *


    I knew it. I knew it! This is my life. Always obstacles.


    I thought back to the parent-meeting, biting my thumbnail. I looked outside, but nothing came to my mind at all.


    ¡°You are always like that when you¡¯re nervous. It hurts,¡± JiKyung said, ncing at me in the passenger seat. He took out some gum from the pocket of his suit after making eye contact. ¡°Chew this instead.¡±


    I took the gum from him, but my hand was visibly shaking.


    JiKyung looked at my hand in surprise. ¡°It¡¯s not a big deal,¡± he said.


    ¡°What?¡± I asked. ¡°Didn¡¯t you see his eyes? He looked like he was about to hurt me.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing he can do. Everybody else is with us. What can he do? It¡¯s a done deal. You don¡¯t have to care about just one disagreement,¡± JiKyung answered calmly.


    ¡°I don¡¯t care about that! He¡¯s going to be my family, I¡¯ll see him regrly after the marriage.¡± I broke a piece off of the gum in my hand and put it in my mouth, chewing slowly with tearful eyes.


    ¡°You are scared, huh? Are you afraid of him that much?¡± JiKyung chuckled like it was funny.


    ¡°Yes, I¡¯m scared! So scared that I am starting to reconsider this marriage.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m gonna tell him not to act that way anymore. Just forget about it,¡± JiKyung assured me.


    ¡°Is that even possible? Can you beat him?¡± I asked.


    ¡°We never fought, but probably, yes.¡±


    ¡°How do you know?¡± I was not convinced.


    ¡°JiHan has followed me around since he was young. He¡¯s crazy, but he never talks back to me. He listens to me more than my mom. Maybe it¡¯s a brotherplex? Perhaps he doesn¡¯t want me to get married.¡±


    Brotherplex...


    I remembered when I was in elementary school, JiKyung had put Kaneshan, made by his younger brother, on his chest. I remembered thinking his little brother had put it on him since their dad was deceased. I was a little jealous of their sibling rtionship.


    ¡°So it¡¯s all because he loves his big brother, and you can take care of it, huh?¡± I asked, still skeptical.


    ¡°Yeah. No worries. It¡¯s not going to happen again,¡± JiKyung assured me with a determined face. ¡°He is going to like you. You are the girl I like.¡±


    ¡°Yeah right, I don¡¯t think he could ever like me,¡± I said.


    I just hope he doesn¡¯t bother me. I bit my nails again. They tasted like gum.


    ***


    Although it was not a real marriage, it was still two people who were in the same boat. Is that why everything is going so well, even in my life? Unlike me, everything has always been alright for JiKyung throughout his life. Is that why my bad luck doesn¡¯t affect this marriage at all?


    Three days after the meeting with our parents, JiKyung told me when I came to the airport to see him off, that his brother had surrendered.


    ¡°Really? Are you sure?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Yes, yes. So just get ready for the marriage while I¡¯m gone,¡± JiKyung said confidently.


    He walked to the exit with a long stride while I tried to keep up with him on my shorter legs.


    ¡°We will go wherever you want to go for the honeymoon. Furniture, make-up, dress, do everything at the most expensive ce. Don¡¯t act like it¡¯s a waste. My money is yours. You know that, right?¡± JiKyung said, standing in front of me at the departure gate. He held my shoulders with his hands. ¡°Out of all the girls not loved by their husbands, you are probably the happiest bride.¡±


    Gay and rich. Rich and gay.


    I can¡¯t be too happy or too sad about this guy with the best and the worst conditions.


    ¡°Oh, and here,¡± JiKyung took something out of his pocket to show me. ¡°It¡¯s an ess card for the apartment. Go live there while I¡¯m gone, I know you feel ufortable at your step-mom¡¯s house.¡±


    At that moment, my mind was literally blown. I grinned from ear to ear.


    ¡°Hey Lee JiKyung. You are the best!¡± I couldn¡¯t help jumping with excitement holding the ess card.


    ¡°Don¡¯t have an affair with anybody else until Ie back. And don¡¯t change your mind, okay? The agreement termination fee is ten times what I¡¯m giving you.


    ¡°It would be absurd to change my mind! Don¡¯t even worry about it. I haven¡¯t had a guy for 33 years of my life, it¡¯s not gonna happen in two months.¡±


    ¡°You never know,¡± JiKyung said.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know anything for certain but this: I will not have an affair with anyone. Even when I was in my 20¡¯s I didn¡¯t.¡± I was certain based on my experiences that I was correct.


    JiKyung chuckled and saluted me with his right hand. ¡°I will get going then.¡±


    As a friend about to get married, I saluted him back with friendshiping from the bottom of the heart. I stared at JiKyung¡¯s silhouette. As he disappeared, I looked at the ess card in my hand, feeling satisfied that my duty to walk him to the departure gate was finished.


    I didn¡¯t normally dance due to concern that people might think I was crazy, but I couldn¡¯t stopughing as I turned around with a smiling face. As soon as I turned around, however, there was somebody right in front of me. They were so close that I stepped back and bowed to them.


    ¡°Ah, I¡¯m sorry,¡± I murmured and quietly stepped aside.


    Strangely, the opponent stepped aside as well so I was blocked again. It was a bit odd, but I didn¡¯t take it too seriously, and moved again. However, the opponent continued to move in front of me.


    What is this? I tilted my head to look at the opponent¡¯s face. I could barely see them and had to tilt my head way back. As soon as I realized who it was, I tripped over myself with embarrassment.


    ¡°Jesus Christ!¡± I cried out, as I fell over.


    He just stared at me without moving. He didn¡¯t even look like he was going to help me up, he just kept looking at me angrily. It was the same look he¡¯d given me at the parent meeting three days ago.


    As scary as his facial expression was, the embarrassment of having people see me on the ground was stronger than the pain I¡¯d experienced from falling, so I stood back up to face him.


    ¡°Uh, when did youe?¡± I asked curiously, trying to act as if nothing had happened. ¡°Did youe here to say goodbye to JiKyung? He just left.¡±


    I was frightened out of my mind but tried not to look like it.


    He looked down at me and said with an arrogant tone, ¡°I¡¯m here to say goodbye to you. Can you talk to me for a sec?¡±

 Chapter 2

    <h4>Chapter 2</h4>


    ¡°Huh?¡± I asked, confused.


    Lee JiHan beckoned to me, not caring about my response. He turned around and headed toward Starbucks with his brother¡¯s signature long stride.


    Here to say goodbye to me? Why? I took my phone out of my backpack and hesitantly followed him. JiHan suddenly turned around and gave me a cold stare. He noticed my phone and frowned. It was so obvious that I immediately stopped and put my phone away. When he saw my phonepletely disappear, he beckoned me again. I gradually started moving toward him.


    Ah...damn it. Why...? I wanted to believe it was nothing but I felt anxious, like I was walking into the enemy¡¯s tent. If I screamed, would JiKyunge back from the departure gate? While I was imagining something Tarzan would do, I made it to Starbucks. JiHan was sitting at an empty table. I sat across from him and put my backpack beside me. I looked over at the menu to order, but he crossed his arms and stared at the table.


    ¡°Um... are you not gonna order anything?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Ask them to take my order,¡± he said sharply.


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Ask them toe over and take my order,¡± JiHan said. He didn¡¯t even lift a finger, but moved only his mouth as he spoke angrily.


    It sounded like he wanted the clerk to take his order at the table. Did he not know about caf¨¦ culture in Korea since he studied in the U.S. for so long?


    ¡°Well, you might not know this, but it¡¯s self-service here,¡± I exined cautiously.


    He gave me a weird look as if I¡¯d just said something ridiculous. ¡°Yeah, Starbucks is in the U.S. too, that¡¯s where they started,¡± he said.


    ¡°You should probably know it¡¯s self-service then,¡± I said.


    ¡°Do you think I don¡¯t know about that?¡± JiHan said to me as if I was stupid. His big eyes made me shrink. Why are they so big even without double eyelids?


    ¡°Why would you say that, then?¡± I asked, baffled by his behavior.


    ¡°It means I don¡¯t intend to do so,¡± he said.


    ¡°What?¡± I was still utterly confused.


    ¡°Don¡¯t make me repeat myself, go order for yourself.¡± As if he¡¯d said everything he needed to, JiHan turned back to the table and sighed with closed eyes.


    What the hell? Why the hell is he ordering me around? He¡¯s even five years younger than me! It was so ridiculous that I gave him a cold stare. When he was standing up, he seemed very far away but sitting down, his face was close enough for me to see each hair. But why can¡¯t I see pores? I searched for a defect, but his clean skin was like the surface of a boiled egg. His thin lips caught my eyes, but his big mouth bnced them out. His nose line looked beautiful and his monolid eyes were deep and beautiful. He was both handsome and pretty. Isn¡¯t that called prettisome?


    Since he wasn¡¯t watching me, I enjoyed looking at his face. Suddenly, he opened his eyes and turned to me. I was so surprised that I took a step back. Why am I scared by the person who is five years younger than me?


    ¡°Sweet one,¡± he said.


    ¡°Yeah...huh?¡± I replied.


    ¡°I¡¯d like to order the sweetest one, please.¡±


    Odd. It wasn¡¯t amand, but a request. It was nice to finally be spoken to with respect, but his tone still made me feel inferior.


    Ignoring my bemusement, JiHan turned back and closed his eyes. He didn¡¯t speak again for a while. I supposed there was nothing more he wanted to say. I wanted to ask who was going to pay, but just turned back to the counter instead. He was going to be my brother-inw within a few weeks after all, and I didn¡¯t want to do anything to upset him.


    Why is his personality so different from his brother? Is it because he¡¯s the spoiled, youngest one? At the counter, I asked for the sweetest drink, and the clerk handed me a Green Tea Frappino with java chips, chocte drizzling and chocte whipped cream. I walked back to the table with his high calorie drink that made me feel guilty just to look at, and my americano.


    As soon as I put the drinks on the table, JiHan opened his eyes to look at the Frappino.


    ¡°You¡¯re good at drink-selecting,¡± he said. ¡°Well, you should probably be good at selecting based on your choice of groom.¡± JiHan stirred his drink with a straw. ¡°But, you don¡¯t know where you should be.¡±


    He chewed the straw while holding the cup. He looked at me and then sipped his drink. Ah. I know what he means. He thinks I don¡¯t deserve his brother. Well, it¡¯s not even offensive since I already expected that somebody would say it to me at least once before the marriage.


    ¡°I am d you like it, I don¡¯t like sweet drinks so I had a hard time choosing.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but I said you don¡¯t know where you should be.¡± JiHan repeated as he finished his drink. He put the empty cup on the table and rolled up his sleeves. With a face that looked like he was readying himself for apetition, he said, ¡°I¡¯m going to get to the point. I¡¯m here to say goodbye to you. Please leave.¡±


    Leave? To where? I blinked my eyes as questions popped up in my head. JiHan stared at me coldly.


    ¡°Stay the f*ck away from my brother.¡±


    Does he mean that he wants me to break up with JiKyung? I almost didn¡¯t understand what JiHan meant.


    ¡°Um...JiKyung told me that you approved of our marriage,¡± I began, thinking of JiKyung¡¯s determined face.


    ¡°I told him to do whatever he wants. It doesn¡¯t mean that I agree though. I respect his freedom, not this marriage.


    ¡°Is...isn¡¯t that same?¡± I stammered. ¡°If you respect his freedom, you should respect his marriage as well.¡±


    ¡°His freedom, I do respect. So I decided not to tell him not to get married. But it¡¯s okay to tell you not to get married.¡±


    We stared at each other in silence.


    ¡°So, don¡¯t get married,¡± he said finally.


    In short, he wants to bully me into giving up this marriage instead of his brother. What the... is their democracy only for JiKyung? Not anybody else?


    ¡°Of course, I wouldn¡¯t just say goodbye if you leave,¡± JiHan took out a white envelope and put it on the table, sliding it toward me. ¡°Hope you have a safe trip.¡±


    As soon as he finished his sentence, he stood up and walked away without giving me time to say anything.


    * * *


    I squeezed into the space right next to the toilet in the bathroom at the airport to talk to JiKyung on the phone.


    ¡°Holy crap! Why is there so much!¡± I said too loudly. I could hear my voice echoing around the bathroom so I lowered it and covered my mouth so no one would hear me.


    ¡°How is it possible for a little, jobless boy to give out 100k? Is that how you all live? Is it okay for a 28 year old guy to spend money like this? Is that your family¡¯s parenting style?¡±


    [Well, is that your point, AhJung? That a younger guy has more money than you?]


    ¡°It¡¯s obnoxious! With this amount, I could go to college for 10 years!¡±


    I couldn¡¯t even graduate because I didn¡¯t have enough money. The feeling of inferiority made me feel so hot that I started to fan myself.


    [It¡¯s good that there¡¯s only one thing making you mad. Usually people get mad at being humiliated.]


    ¡°Ah, it¡¯s because I anticipated that they were going to be against us. I was ready to be humiliated. But it was a bit surprising that your brother had an issue instead of your mom.


    [I didn¡¯t know either. I¡¯m sorry]


    ¡°Yeah, you should be. What did you teach him that¡¯s making him act like that?¡±


    While I wasining, there was a knocking sound outside the door. I was paralyzed with fear because of my existing nervousness about this wedding. I was also anxious because I had 100k in my backpack, and I didn¡¯t want anyone to rob me.


    ¡°Hey,e out,¡± somebodyined from outside.


    ¡°Ah, okay. I wille out. Sorry!¡± I replied. There was no one waiting when I got there but now there were many people in line.


    [What? Who are you talking to?]


    ¡°Ah, This is the restroom,¡± I answered JiKyung as I stood up.


    [No way. You¡¯re talking to me on the toilet?]


    ¡°No, no, not like that...¡±


    I opened up the door and went to the exit, covering my mouth again.


    ¡°He could still be at the airport. He might overhear our conversation. The female restroom was the perfect ce to feel safe.¡±


    [You are a worry wart.]


    I peeked my head out to look around for JiHan before exiting.


    [Ignore him anyway. I will take care of it and you just focus on the marriage.]


    ¡°How about the check? What should I do with this?¡± I asked, holding my backpack.


    [You use that one.]


    ¡°What!¡±


    [Take that as the early mary gift.]


    ¡°It¡¯s 100k!¡±


    [You were going to receive 500k anyway. Consider it an advance.]


    ¡°Do you think it¡¯s the same? If I take this, it means I¡¯m not going to get married to you. I¡¯m just going to disappear with this money.¡±


    [Yeah? Return it to him then.]


    ¡°I will, I will...I¡¯m going to...¡±


    I reluctantly went over the meeting with JiHan in my head. The meeting was short, so my reminiscence was as well. However, I unwittingly ended up biting my nails again.


    Lee JiHan. He¡¯s so handsome that anybody would want to meet him again, but I do not. So I timidly ask JiKyung over the phone, ¡°Would you tell me your brother¡¯s bank ount number?¡±


    * * *


    JiKyung¡¯s flight is about to leave, so my phone conversation quickly ends. He said he would contact me after the 12 hour flight. I decided to wait for his call at his house, which would soon be mine after a few weeks.


    JiKyung didn¡¯t remember his brother¡¯s bank ount number, so JiHan¡¯s 100k was still in my backpack. I was scared of being pickpocketed, so I took a taxi to Seoul from InCheon Airport.


    In the fast-driving taxi, the rate on the meter went up quickly. It felt like I was throwing my money out on the road. I turned to look outside. It¡¯s alright, nothing. Not even a mother-inw or sister-inw, just a brother-inw. It¡¯s cool. I tried to convince myself that it wasn¡¯t a big deal. Somehow, I started praying that these two months would pass by as quickly as the view outside the taxi window. There would be no more meetings with JiHan until JiKyung came back.


    * * *


    When I opened the house with the ess card, the 2500 sq. ft house looked really huge. This was where JiKyung lived alone? And where I would live from now on. For a moment, I felt like I was in love with JiKyung.


    I took off my shoes and danced into the massive living room. There was a couch and a table that had many bags on it.


    What is this? As I walked closer, I saw an envelope on the edge of the table with my name on it. I opened the envelope to see the letter inside. It greeted me with JiKyung¡¯s familiar, organized handwriting.


    [I prepared the things you need. If there¡¯s more that you want, you can purchase it with the card on the table. Just don¡¯t spend your money. Buy our furniture and stuff with the card too. I¡¯m going to tell mom that we bought it with your money. You¡¯re already doing me a favor by marrying me, so it makes me ufortable if you buy things as well.


    Use everything freely, the house, the card, everything is yours.


    See you in two months.]


    How sweet of him. I put down the letter and opened the bags. Pajamas, outerwear, underwear, foundation and color cosmetics, everything was in there. He¡¯s sweet but his caring nature is even sweeter. His thoughtfulness made me smile. He would have been the best husband if only he wasn¡¯t gay. Of course, he wouldn¡¯t have asked to marry me if he wasn¡¯t.


    Bitter reality turned my smile into smirk, but I shook my head and took out the pajamas with a happy mind. I decided to take a bath and then put on my new clothes in my new house.


    I went to the bathroom and filled the marble bath with hot water while I took off my clothes. Given that five people; me, my dad, my step-mom, my step-brother and my step-sister all shared a bathroom at my step-mom¡¯s house, taking a bath there was almost impossible. Honestly, taking a shower was even ufortable. Especially since I was a new arrival, I didn¡¯t feelfortable using too much water.


    Now I could use as much water as I wanted to draw a bath in this luxurious bathroom. I sank into the warm water, still unsure if it was even real.


    ¡°Ohhh!¡± I unwittingly eximed. The water was at my knee level. At my eye level, I saw a memo attached to the wall.


    [Put this in the bath, it¡¯s bath foam.]


    I reached for the bath foam next to the memo. As soon as I poured some in the bath, it madevender scented bubbles.


    ¡°Woohoo!¡± I giggled to myself.


    There was nothing more I needed. It wasn¡¯t an issue that my husband would never love me. After all, love from a husband dissipates as time passes anyway. There is a saying that the first daughter lives like her mom. If so, I¡¯d rather have a fake marriage than be faked out by a husband. At least my husband won¡¯t be stolen by other girls. And even if he is, there would be no betrayal, no drama at all. Yes. This is the best. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage anyway.


    As I came to this conclusion, I sat in the bath and waited for the water to rise up a bit more. When the bubbles were up to my chest, I turned off the faucet and leaned my head back. I closed my eyes, using the bath as a bed and the bubbles as a nket. I gradually began to feel sleepy. I decided I wouldn¡¯t mind a nap, and let the sleepiness take over me.


    I opened my eyes after I heard something while asleep. I tried to stand up but felt cold. I had slept a little too long, and the bubbles on the water had mostly disappeared. What was that sound? I stood up, thinking about the sound I heard. Suddenly, the door opened and I came face to face with JiHan. For a second, I was paralyzed, but then I screamed and jumped back into the bath. I covered my chest and closed my eyes, still continuing to scream.

 Chapter 3

    <h4>Chapter 3</h4>


    I opened my eyes after I heard the sound of the door closing. When I lifted up my head to look, JiHan was already gone. I came out of the bath and put some clothes on in a hurry.


    Why the hell is he here, why! I threw on some clothes without bothering to dry off, but I stopped when I grabbed the doorknob. Although I thought he hadn¡¯t seen my whole body, I wasn¡¯t sure. I¡¯d seen his face, the way he was frowning. That was not the face of someone who¡¯d seen nothing.


    Crazy! I grabbed my wet hair and sat back down. No. It¡¯s okay. So what? I got naked as an actress. In front of an audience. Nothing different. This marriage is a y and that man is an audience. It¡¯s just showing my body to an audience as a part of the y.


    I stood back up to grab the doorknob and took a deep breath. It¡¯s alright, alright, alright. I tried to believe nothing even happened. Well...what? Did anything even happen? I don¡¯t remember? I manipted my memory and turned the doorknob.


    When I came out, JiHan was there in front of the table. He was reading JiKyung¡¯s letter, holding it with both of his hands. His face was wrathful.


    Wait what does it say? Why does he have a face like that? Does he sense this marriage is fake? I was so embarrassed that I didn¡¯t even remember what it said so I ran at him.


    ¡°Don¡¯t read that! That¡¯s mine!¡± I grabbed his arm, trying to take away the letter.


    However, he put it up over my head and sadly, I couldn¡¯t reach that high. No matter what I did, I could barely reach to his elbow. He kept reading out loud, ignoring my attempts to stop him.


    ¡°¡®Buy our furniture and stuff with the card too. I¡¯m going to tell mom that we bought it with your money?''¡± he continued, frowning again.


    ¡°Give it to me! Why are you reading my letter!¡± I cried.


    ¡°¡®You¡¯re already doing me a favor by marrying me, so it makes me ufortable if you buy things as well. Use everything freely, the house, the card, everything is yours?¡¯ Haha, this is ridiculous!¡±


    JiHan shook his head and put his hand, which held my letter, down to his waist. I quickly snatched it from his hand. Instead of taking the letter back, he grabbed me by the cor.


    ¡°Did you get pregnant?¡± he asked with a cold, crazy stare.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Did you or not?¡±


    ¡°No, I didn¡¯t,¡± I answered.


    ¡°If you didn¡¯t, why would he do that!¡± He shook me while still holding me by the cor.


    ¡°Why you! House, card, everything is given to you and what? ¡®I¡¯m going to tell mom we bought it with your money? Thank you for getting married to me?''¡±


    ¡°So what!¡± I was getting so dizzy I lost my mind and yelled at him.


    JiHan stopped and looked at me as if it was ridiculous.


    ¡°It...it¡¯s true. I didn¡¯t threaten him. It¡¯s just him willingly doing that for me,¡± I exined.


    JiHan sighed. His grip loosened. I took his hand off of my body and stepped back to keep my distance as I spoke.


    ¡°You seem to misunderstand. I have never asked for this kind of thing. He gave me the ess card today and I found this letter and stuff here.¡±


    ¡°Why would he give you those if you never asked? Do you think it makes any sense?¡± JiHan questioned me.


    ¡°It¡¯s...it¡¯s because we love... we love each other,¡± I stammered.


    ¡°What?¡± he said, looking shocked.


    ¡°It¡¯s like this when you are in love. You want to give everything and never feel empty. That¡¯s love,¡± I insisted, as if this was the unchangeable truth.


    ¡°Why does he give love to you!¡± eximed JiHan.


    ¡°Go ask JiKyung!¡± I answered back. This was not acting. ¡°No matter why he wants to get married, this is your older brother who loves me and wants to buy me things. Why would you bother me about that?¡±


    My dispute made him close his eyes and take a deep breath. He put both his hands on his waist, frowning silently.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to ask what I need to ask you, then.¡± He said calmly, opening his eyes. ¡°Why are you here?¡±


    ¡°JiKyung told me to stay here,¡± I replied.


    ¡°You took the money envelope from me. Don¡¯t you know what it means? Did you think I gave you taxi money? To go home safely?¡± JiHan asked.


    ¡°Ah, the envelope. I know what it means but I don¡¯t want to take that. I was actually going to return¨C¡±


    ¡°Why? Not enough?¡± he interrupted.


    That was technically true. JiKyung promised me 500k in advance. 100k wouldn¡¯t change my mind.


    ¡°No it¡¯s not like that...¡± I insisted.


    I tried to get into actress mode by looking down to get emotional. I needed to show my acting skills were worthy of 500k. However, JiHan didn¡¯t wait for me to get fully into character.


    ¡°How much do you need?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°How much do you need to get away from him?¡±


    I almost asked how much he would give me. Damn, let me gather myself! I recovered and jumped fully into acting.


    ¡°No matter how much you give me, I¡¯m not going to leave. I can¡¯t¡±


    JiHan stared in silence.


    ¡°As JiKyung loves me, I love him, too.¡±


    In my mind, I became terminally ill, watching thest leaf on a tree. If it fell down, I would die. I looked into his eyes with that mindset, and I asked him as if it were myst wish before I died, ¡°Please... let us love.¡±


    JiHan looked at my eyes, then took a deep breath.


    ¡°Go ahead then,¡± he finally announced.


    ¡°What? Really?¡± I asked excitedly.


    ¡°But love is made with your mind, not paper. Love? Go do that. Just don¡¯t think to be part of our family.¡±


    ¡°...what?¡± I asked again, my excitement plummeting.


    ¡°Don¡¯t even think about getting married.JiHan grabbed my arm and walked toward the door. Due to my wet feet and the power difference between us, I was easily dragged. He pushed me out and closed the door.


    ¡°Hey!¡± I yelled.


    I slipped down on the floor, but got back up to grab the doorknob. The closed door didn¡¯t even budge. The ess card was inside and I didn¡¯t know the password, JiKyung hadn¡¯t told me yet.


    ¡°What are you doing!¡± I yelled again, knocking and trying to open the door.


    JiHan spoke from the other side of the door. ¡°Go home safely. Please do note back again.¡±


    He slid the white envelope with 100k underneath the door.


    I kept knocking and yelling, still barefoot, but JiHan never responded. It was questionable if he even heard me. I may have had 100k in my hand, but I didn¡¯t have a wallet or a phone, so I had no idea how to get home. How do I use the public transportation with a 100k check? Not even a shoe store would ept a 100k check. I ended up walking home with a nuisance in my hand. Jerk! Crazy weirdo! He should have at least given me my backpack. Why doesn¡¯t he have mercy? I walked, halfining and half breathing, for hours in darkness, barefoot.


    * * *


    Lee Jihan


    No matter what the shameless girl said, I ignored her and went to my older brother¡¯s bedroom to turn on the audio with a remote control. When I yed ssical music, the noise outside the door waspletely buried. I closed my eyes and crossed my arms to calm down, lying on the bed.


    However, I couldn¡¯t really be calm, so I took out my phone to make a call. When mom picked up, I immediately started to argue.


    ¡°Mom, tell me something. JiKyung is not your child, huh?¡±


    [What kind of question is that?] she asked.


    ¡°If he is, how is this even possible? How did you let him get married to a girl like that! My brother doesn¡¯t deserve that!¡±


    [He likes her. The person who is going to live with her is JiKyung. As long as he¡¯s satisfied, that¡¯s all.]


    ¡°What do you mean? Our family is not like that. We are members of the aristocracy! This is not his own matter. It is a matter of the honor of our family. Mom, are you going to humiliate me like this?¡±


    [I¡¯m not going to consider the financial aspects of my daughter-inw. If you are right and we are an aristocracy family, one bad girl doesn¡¯t change anything. So as long as you guys are satisfied with your girls, I¡¯m okay with that.]


    ¡°Yeah, you might be okay with that yourself but I¡¯m not!¡± I hung up emotionally and threw the phone on the bed.


    How marvelous my brother is.


    How perfect my brother is.


    How does he meet...that kind of girl!


    I fell down on the bed. I put my head on the pillow and thought about her profile. Nameless college dropout, obscure actress, insurance agent step-mom, dad is a security guard for the apartment.


    Does she think she¡¯s in a fairytale? Not only that, all the girls who get married to princes and live happily ever after, are either princesses or aristocracy. The Little Mermaid, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty. They are all royal family.


    She¡¯s short, like a dwarf. What kind of face is that? She looks like an elementary schooler! Well, she looks the same now as when she was in elementary school.


    I clicked my tongue, thinking about 20 years ago. I sometimes used to peek at my brother¡¯s friends who came to our house back then. I remembered looking at her face too. Has she been living with that face for 20 years? It hasn¡¯t improved.


    She had a tiny nose, tiny mouth, the only thing big on her face was her eyes. She¡¯s been living with those for 20 years...eyes don¡¯t even get bigger! And her breasts...


    I frowned again.


    ¡°Why the hell does he like that kind of girl!¡± It was so absurd that I talked out loud to myself.


    I should¡¯ve stopped their friendship 20 years ago.I should have removed the seed. I thought she was just the daughter of my mom¡¯s friend, and that thest I would hear about their family would be that they secretly ran away from debt collectors. I didn¡¯t know they would meet again at a marriageable age. How can he treat her like his significant other? If I¡¯d seen the future, I would¡¯ve known better than to think she was just one of his numerous friends. I could¡¯ve stopped this! Damn it.


    There was no way to warn my past self 20 years ago. I decided to just do my best to make her leave JiKyung. I rolled over and drew AhJung¡¯s face on the ceiling. I made a promise to myself while looking at it. Studying in the U.S. would have to wait. Whatever. I was not leaving until she left my brother.


    * * *


    The next day, AhJung¡¯s phone rang early in the morning. I was eating cereal in the kitchen, so I walked to the living room and took her phone out of her backpack. The caller on the screen was Lee, JiKyung. It was my brother!


    When I checked the time, it looked to be about the time he arrived in Paris. Did he think of her as soon as he got there? I frowned, thinking about how I had not received any messages from him. Irritated, I yelled at him right after I picked up the phone


    ¡°WHY!¡±


    [Who is...this? JiHan?]


    ¡°Yeah, me.¡±


    [¡°You.. why...why are you picking this up? Where¡¯s AhJung? Is she with you?] His tone sounded embarrassed.


    ¡°She¡¯s not with me.¡±


    [Where is she, then?]


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. How should I know?¡± I asked, annoyed.


    [You have the phone but don¡¯t know where the owner is?]


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    [Where are you?]


    ¡°Your home.¡±


    [Why are you there?]


    ¡°I¡¯m going to stay here while you¡¯re gone.¡±


    [JiHan, that¡¯s where I asked AhJung to stay. It¡¯s our home.]


    His voice lost its warmth and became more serious.


    [Did you... meet AhJung there?]


    ¡°I didn¡¯t meet her but ran into her.¡±


    I turned around to see the bathroom she¡¯d made a mess in.


    ¡°Coincidentally, unfortunately.¡±


    He sighed when I added more.


    [Did you kick her out?]


    ¡°This is all for you, brother.¡±


    [You kicked her out.]


    ¡°I escorted her to where she deserves to be.¡±


    [LEE JIHAN!]


    His sudden shouting made my eyes widen.


    [Go apologize!]


    ¡°What?¡±


    [Apologize to your sister-inw and bring her back home.]


    ¡°Are you crazy? Why should I?¡±


    [Because you are my brother.]


    ¡°What?¡±


    [You are my brother and she¡¯s your sister-inw. It¡¯smon sense that you should respect her and if you don¡¯t, you have to apologize.]


    This was not the voice I knew. I had never heard him sound this mad. My mind almost drew a nk but I gathered myself together to talk to him.


    ¡°No. I don¡¯t want her to be my sister-inw. Why her? There are so many girls that like you.¡±


    [Without AhJung, I am not going to get married.]


    He sounded certain, as if there was no need for exnation.


    [If you want to continue to be my brother, go apologize.]


    ¡°Nope, I can¡¯t do that. If YOU want to continue to be MY brother, go break up with her.¡±


    I refused to give in.


    ¡°Choose. Me or her.¡±


    My coercion made him sigh deeply. After too long of a pause, he gave me his answer.

 Chapter 4

    <h4>Chapter 4</h4>


    ¡°HOW CAN HE DO THIS TO ME!¡± I yelled while I walked up the stairs. There was no elevator in the vi, and this made me even angrier since I needed to walk to the fourth floor. I got madder and madder at her for creating this mess. How can she flirt with him? How can my nice brother treat me like this!


    I sighed like a fire breathing dragon as I arrived in front of her home. It felt like JiKyung¡¯s voice was still ringing in my ears.


    ¡°My life has been with you for thest 28 years. If I must choose, I¡¯d rather be with her for the next 28 years,¡± he had said.


    My brother made a stupid choice like that because of you! I angrily stared at the door, thinking about Na AhJung behind it. Suddenly, the door opened and someone came out.


    ¡°Oh my god!¡± The middle-aged woman who walked out of the door looked at me with surprise.


    ¡°Is Na AhJung living here?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Have youe here to meet her?¡± asked the woman.


    ¡°Yes. I have something for her. Is she here?¡±


    She examined me, looking unsure, but then a look of realization crossed her face.


    ¡°Ah! Are you the one who was at the parent meeting? Sah-Don?¡±


    Once she said that, I remembered her face from the meeting, too. She was the one sitting next to AhJung. This must be her step-mom.


    ¡°Not exactly. I¡¯m the one you saw at the meeting, but not Sah-Don,¡± I said.


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°I have something for Na AhJung. Can you get her if she is in there?¡±


    The woman turned back to check.


    ¡°She¡¯s still sleeping,¡± she said and turned back to me.


    ¡°Wake her up, then.¡±


    My demand was very simple but the look on her face told me she didn¡¯t want to do that.


    ¡°Um... I¡¯m about to leave now, so you go in to wake her up, Sah-Don. I¡¯m too busy right now. You guys have a good time, see youter,¡± she said, then left.


    Why is she dreaming so big? Who is Sah-Don? Is she crazy? I was more irritated by being called Sah-Don than by her walking away from me in the middle of a conversation, but before I couldin to her, she had already left.


    I peeked inside through the gap between the doors. There was a living room that was smaller than my bedroom. I spotted something on the floor, which made me so curious that I ended up going in. I took a couple of steps and was already in the room. There in front of me was AhJung, sleeping on the floor like a homeless person.


    Looking at the living room that seemed to be full with just one girl with a nket, I became speechless. Looking around, there were only three rooms and one of them was the restroom.


    Her parents, step-brother and step-sister lived there and since there were only two rooms...was the living room her bedroom then? I looked down at her, shocked by my realization. AhJung had wrapped her feet with a towel and was sleeping like a shrimp.


    Why is she sleeping so poorly? What is that on her feet? I was so taken aback that I just set her backpack down on the floor and pushed it towards her with my foot.


    ¡°Sorry,¡± I whispered, unwillingly. There. I had apologized. I could now return home with my missionpleted. When I was about to move, the phone in her backpack rang loudly.


    * * *


    Na AhJung


    The sudden sound of a phone ringing woke me up, and I reached out in the direction of my ringtone. After I found my backpack with closed eyes, I fumbled for the phone and put it to my ear.


    [Hello?]


    ¡°Yeah... JiKyung?¡±


    I was toozy to open my eyes, but I recognized his voice.


    [Is this AhJung? Did you meet my brother?]


    ¡°Your brother...yes, he¡¯s such a lunatic!¡± As I remembered what had happened the day before, I suddenly raised my voice. Even though I¡¯d wrapped my feet with a cold, water-soaked towel, they still ached.


    [I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t know he was that crazy.]


    ¡°Do you think it makes sense you didn¡¯t know?¡± I get up and reply with attitude. ¡°If he¡¯s that crazy, he¡¯s definitely antisocial. He¡¯s a crazy, insane, lunatic. I barely know him and I realized this, how could you not know?¡±


    [Didn¡¯t he apologize?]


    ¡°Yeah, right¡±


    [Did he just give you the phone and leave?]


    ¡°Give me...the phone?¡±


    Something was not right.


    ¡°Wait, my phone...how can it be here? Last night, I left it there. Why is it here now?¡±


    I opened my half-closed eyes and scratched the back of my head. There was an answer, but it didn¡¯te from the phone, it came from behind me.


    ¡°Because that lunatic is behind you.¡±


    I opened my eyes all the way and whirled around. JiHan came into my sight, looking down at me with crossed arms. I got goosebumps as if I had just seen a ghost. I pulled the nket around me and hid inside it. JiHan¡¯s voice came from outside the nket.


    ¡°I came here to return your phone and apologize, but instead I get called a lunatic?¡± His tone made it seem like I was the absurd one.


    [Hello? AhJung? What happened?]


    The phone, which shone like the only candle in a dark cave, delivered JiKyung¡¯s voice. I tried to ask for help through the phone.


    ¡°JiKyung, the truth is...¡±


    As soon as I opened my mouth, my nket was ripped off of me. My hunched body was revealed like a peeled pea.


    ¡°Whoa! Hey, please!¡± I eximed.


    I started to form an excuse, but JiHan took my phone out of my hand and spoke into it.


    ¡°Brother, did you hear? She called me a lunatic! You heard that!¡±


    My red feet still hurt but I toughed out the pain and stood up in an attempt to get my phone back.


    JiHan gave me a cold stare. I stepped back, frightened. It sounded like JiKyung said something over the phone.


    ¡°What¡¯s going on? I apologized as you told me, and I get called a crazy, insane, lunatic!¡±


    ¡°Um... that...that¡¯s...¡± I stammered.


    Ignoring my voice, JiHan focused on the voice over the phone. After JiKyung spoke again, JiHan looked off into the distance, anger on his face.


    ¡°Why am I supposed to take that? When she¡¯s talking sh*t behind my back! How can you get married to a girl like this? Brother, how can you get married to a girl who talks sh*t about me? You can¡¯t, right?¡±


    JiHan gave me a cold stare once again, and exhaled so strongly his shoulders moved.


    Why is he so mad about this? Did I say something crazy? Doesn¡¯t he care about what he did?


    I bit my bottom lip and made a fist. I looked at JiHan¡¯s face with bravery, but I was still too scared to say anything out loud, so I said it in my head.


    I¡¯ve got something to say...me too! Yesterday I was... because of you...!


    Before I was done talking to myself, JiKyung¡¯s voice spoke again from the phone. I couldn¡¯t hear it clearly, but I noticed JiHan¡¯s face change. He looked like he¡¯d just lost everything.


    ¡°How...how dare you do that to me...how can you be on her side?¡±


    JiHan frightened me like a tiger, but hearing the sadness in his voice made me sympathetic. His brother¡¯s one statement broke his heart. I felt so sorry for him that I put my head down.


    What should I do... what should I do... Why does it feel I did something wrong? I don¡¯t know if I did anything wrong. I kept my head down and started biting my nails. A momentter, JiHan threw my phone away. When I picked it up, he had already walked out of the door. His silhouette looked so defeated that I chased after him.


    * * *


    I barely caught him outside the vi since I was still barefoot. I stood in front of him, out of breath, babbling unorganized words.


    ¡°I...I didn¡¯t intentionally do that... I didn¡¯t know you were there...I just talked....I didn¡¯t know... you were listening...¡± I finally managed to collect my words. ¡°I didn¡¯t know you were here. I literally didn¡¯t know.¡±


    JiHan looked away as if he didn¡¯t even want to make eye contact with me.


    ¡°Even if you didn¡¯t know, does that resolve everything?¡± he asked.


    ¡°No, I shouldn¡¯t have said anything. I¡¯m sorry,¡± I said.


    My guilt made me keep talking. ¡°I don¡¯t know what JiKyung said but don¡¯t take it too seriously. He probably¨C¡±


    ¡°Hey, if you are going to act shamelessly, at least have some sense! Do you think I want to talk to you now?¡± JiHan said, ring at me.


    I stepped back reflexively, but noticed something unusual. On his scowling face I spotted...a tear? This guy is crying! I would be less surprised if I saw a statue crying.


    ¡°Hey, are you crying?¡± I asked. ¡°Why? What did he say?¡±


    I didn¡¯t know what to do. I paced back and forth, then I touched his sleeve. He shook me off violently.


    ¡°It¡¯s because of you!¡± he yelled.


    He looked at me with eyes full of wrath and tears.


    ¡°I¡¯m not going to approve of this marriage until I die!¡±


    JiHan turned back and ran away, too quickly to chase, drying his tears with his sleeve.


    * * *


    I called JiKyung back as soon as I came home.


    ¡°What did you tell him?¡± I asked.


    [I said being called a lunatic is not a big deal. I don¡¯t want to cancel the wedding just because of that. Everybody talks sh*t and considering what he did, it was justified. You were just so frustrated. I said he had to understand you.]


    ¡°Is that all?¡±


    [That¡¯s all.]


    ¡°You didn¡¯t curse at all?¡±


    [Why would I do that.]


    ¡°That¡¯s all you said and he¡¯s acting like this?¡±


    [Why? What did he do?]


    ¡°He was crying!¡±


    [What?]


    ¡°He cried! That¡¯s why I thought you said something harsh. I was surprised.¡±


    I felt sorry because I could still picture JiHan crying in front of me. If I had hurt him, I felt it was my responsibility to help him.


    [It¡¯s not because I was harsh but because I was on your side instead of his. This shocked him. It seems you are more important to me than him. He feels he¡¯s now less important than you. You are taking precedence over him and it feels like he¡¯s a nuisance now.]


    It¡¯s because of me taking his older brother from him. Technically, I am the responsible one...


    ¡°If you know that much, why wouldn¡¯t you be on his side? I¡¯m in his doghouse.¡±


    [I can¡¯t be on his side against you, he wants me to cancel the marriage. How can I do that?]


    ¡°That¡¯s true but...¡±


    [I don¡¯t feelfortable either. Why won¡¯t he back off at all? Why doesn¡¯t he just embrace this and feel happy about it?]


    I heard him sigh over the phone. I sighed as well because I felt for him. I had an idea, so I shared it with JiKyung.


    ¡°If I tried my best, would he embrace me?¡±


    JiKyung sighed more deeply. [It¡¯s not about what you do]


    ¡°Why?¡±


    [I¡¯m sorry for talking like this, but the reason he doesn¡¯t like you is your financial situation. These things are not changeable. You can¡¯t make enough money to make your whole family rich, nor can you be a famous actress right away. And¨C]


    His calm voice pointing out why I¡¯m not the one makes me yell at him.


    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you meet the right girl! Why did you ask me to marry you! Why!¡±


    [That kind of a girl wouldn¡¯t want this kind of marriage.]


    ¡°These brothers both f*ck me up! I wouldn¡¯t have married you either if it wasn¡¯t about money!¡±


    [Sorry, Sorry. I just mean you don¡¯t have to do anything unnecessarily. He won¡¯t embrace you anyway.]


    ¡°No. He will. Maybe he¡¯s actually a nice guy who realizes what¡¯s more important and will like me more than you do.¡±


    I was so mad that I started saying crazy things. I knew everything I was saying was bullsh*t. After I heard himugh out loud though, I felt the urge to take on the challenge.


    ¡°Hey look. I¡¯m going to receive his approval!¡±


    JiKyung didn¡¯t stopughing at my statement, instead heughed harder.

 Chapter 5

    <h4>Chapter 5</h4>


    I made the day JiKyung returned the end date to my goal. I imagined weing him with JiHan who would be on good terms with me. In order to make my fantasy real, I started my n.


    First, I studied JiHan. From personality to interests, I gathered all the information I could and went to JiKyung¡¯s house. When I arrived there, I saw JiHan¡¯s shoes in the entrance. I remembered JiKyung once told me that JiHan was so clean, he brushed his teeth while being carried to the Emergency Room.


    He cries, but organizes his shoes. I started giggling, thinking he was cute. I took off my shoes cautiously and headed toward the living room. It looked the same as it had when I¡¯d left the day before. I put my stuff down on the table where all of the bags were. The table was the same except for one thing: JiKyung¡¯s letter was gone.


    He threw it away. Threw it away! It wasn¡¯t even a surprise. He hadn¡¯t flipped the table or cut up the letter, just thrown it away.


    I was about to leave but then I found something odd. There was a handful of white, dandruff-like kes on the table.


    ¡°What is this?¡± I spoke out loud.


    It looked like dandruff but I wasn¡¯t sure. I rubbed it slightly with my finger and realized it was the letter, shredded meticulously down to the size of nanoparticles.


    I was speechless looking at the tiny pieces. If it had been my picture instead, I would have felt goosebumps.


    ¡°No, no. Think positively.¡± I whispered to myself.


    I shook my head, trying to remove the negative thoughts. Let¡¯s get along with him. With positive thoughts. Determined, I walked to the bedroom where he would be. As I stood in front of it, I heard ssical musicing from the room. I inhaled deeply and knocked on the door. There was no response.


    Is it because the music is too loud to hear my knock? I knocked a little harder and put my ear to the door but there was no response. I ended up opening the door without permission. I walked in to see JiHan lying t on his back on the bed. His eyes were closed and his arms were crossed. I turned off the audio and started talking.


    ¡°Excuse me.¡±


    He didn¡¯t answer me at all. I came close to him and spoke again, thinking he was pretending not to hear.


    ¡°Hey, can we talk?¡± I tried again.


    He still wouldn¡¯t respond. Is he sleeping? In a perfect position like that?


    ¡°No way. You are not sleeping right?¡± I asked.


    As I walked closer to see, I felt something near my toe.


    What is this? When I looked down, there were some green bottles rolling around like bowling pins. He felt so frustrated that he drank So-Ju in the daytime.


    Thinking about his tear, I looked at his face sympathetically. I¡¯d thought he was cold-blooded, but he seemed vulnerable. He¡¯d actually cried!


    I know where I am, but I need to prove I¡¯m a good bride for this guy, too. That¡¯s how he can ept this marriage. Yes. I will put on a perfect performance with my 10 years of experience as an actress.


    I reminded myself solemnly of what I needed to do. I bent down to touch his forehead with my hand.


    ¡°You feel bad, poor thing? Mommy will take care of you. Don¡¯t worry.¡± I talked to him like he was a child, patting his head. Suddenly he moved his lips.


    ¡°Ah. Are you not leaving?¡±


    ¡°Whoaaa!¡± I cried out and stumbled backwards, falling down on my hip.


    JiHan stood up and looked down at me with irritation.


    ¡°Wh...when did you wake up? I thought you were sleeping?¡± I stammered.


    ¡°I just didn¡¯t want to respond.¡±


    Snap...didn¡¯t want to respond? He wasn¡¯t sleeping in the first ce? Is he sober after drinking that much?


    I counted the bottles but realized something about their shape.


    ¡°Is...is that Sprite?¡± Why did you drink Sprite? Why four bottles? Why now?¡±


    ¡°Because I was frustrated.¡±


    ¡°You drink Sprite when frustrated? Not So-Ju?¡±


    ¡°Why would I drink a bitter drink and not a sweet one? I don¡¯t want to be more frustrated.¡±


    ¡°Ah...a sweet drink...¡± I remembered JiKyung saying JiHan was obsessed with sweet things. ¡°So-Ju is sweet, too...¡± I was talking more to myself than to JiHan.


    ¡°Damn! Get out!¡± he yelled.


    I stopped myself from running away. I¡¯d almost forgotten the reason why I came here.


    ¡°Excuse me. I have something to say.¡±


    I reminded myself of my n and turned back to him. In order to y, I focused on getting into actress mode.


    ¡°I have no time to listen. What? Poor thing? Mommy will take care of you? Are you trying to prove that being called a lunatic is not a big deal like this?¡± JiHan said sarcastically.


    I acted like I would die if I didn¡¯t say this right now. I started kneeling down.


    ¡°What is this?¡± he asked sharply.


    I put my hands on my knees and looked up at him desperately.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry for what I did earlier this morning. I apologize. I¡¯m genuinely sorry,¡± I began.


    JiHan stared silently at me.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry for getting married to JiKyung, too.¡± I put my head down with tearful eyes. ¡°I¡¯m not supposed to be with him in the first ce. I¡¯m not supposed to, but...I can¡¯t resist my love.¡±


    I lifted my head up. My eyes were so watery that his face looked blurry.


    ¡°I know I¡¯m not the right one for him. However, I...I can¡¯t break up with him. Without JiKyung, I might die...for real.¡±


    I blinked my eyes so the tears would fall. I gathered both my hands under my chin and begged.


    ¡°Please give me one opportunity to show you I can be a good wife for him. I will be. I will prove he will be happy with me.¡±


    After dropping two more tears, I could see his face more clearly. Even with my great acting, he still kept looking at me with a cold stare.


    ¡°Before I get married, I will prove to you that I can be a good wife. Like a politician, let me earn your vote so I can prove I will do my best if I am elected.¡±


    He tilted his head a bit. ¡°Am I supposed to buy that?¡± he asked sarcastically.


    ¡°I will prove my worth to you!¡± I continued. ¡°JiKyung will be away for two months, I do not know how long you will be here, but you could stay with me. Then I can prove myself worthy.¡±


    ¡°I will stay here until hees. It¡¯s vacation anyway,¡± said JiHan.


    ¡°See who I am for two months and then decide if you approve of this marriage.¡±


    I pressed both my hands together very tightly and looked into his eyes. This was not acting. It came from the bottom of my heart. I really wanted this opportunity. The opportunity to get along with him.


    He snorted at me and put his hands on his hips, standing majestically as if he were dering war.


    ¡°After two months, you can rethink if you really want to get married,¡± JiHan said with a smirk.


    ¡°Okay. I will.¡± I responded immediately after being given this two-month opportunity.


    ¡°And whatever happens, you can¡¯t report it to JiKyung,¡± said JiHan.


    ¡°Of course, of course!¡±


    ¡°Even if you change your mind, it¡¯s your change of mind. Regardless of me.¡±


    ¡°epted.¡± I smiled.


    With a smug face that says this is not a good deal for me, Jihan replied, ¡°Stay strong, then.¡± It sounded like a warning.


    I nodded, trying not to care.

 Chapter 6

    <h4>Chapter 6</h4>


    Na AhJung


    Standing at the kitchen countertop wearing an apron and headband, I started to prep the ingredients. Behind me, Lee JiHan stood scrutinizing my every move.


    If it wasn¡¯t for this guy, I would be eating pork feet with a ss of soju rolling around in front of the television, enjoying myvish single life. Instead, I was struggling with this darn beef bourguignon, or blue marble, or whatever it¡¯s called. I couldn¡¯t believe I had to try to concoct a French dish I¡¯d never evenid eyes on before. Not only that, but I had toplete the feat in front of those hawk like eyes that followed even the slightest movement of my fingertips.


    &amp;quot;Are you really going to stay here for the whole two months?&amp;quot; I asked cautiously, pretending as if there was no deeper meaning behind it.


    Lee JiHan articted his answer in a firm tone of voice. &amp;quot;For two whole months. 24 hours a day. I will be living here with you.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;What? All 24 hours?&amp;quot; This was news to me.


    &amp;quot;Just think of these 2 months as a beta test to see if my brother will actually be happy living with you. A beta test where I will experience it first and evaluate the situation. To do that, sharing all 24 hours with you is fundamental.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Ah...okay...&amp;quot; I murmured.


    He wants to live with me, his future sister-inw, for two months just the two of us? It sounded ludicrous, but strangely I was unable to think of a retort. It was definitely ludicrous but somehow logically so...


    &amp;quot;Your mother will be a bit disappointed,&amp;quot; I said. &amp;quot;She won¡¯t be able to see her youngest son¡¯s face for two months, and you won¡¯t be able to see her very often when she leaves for America. Wouldn¡¯t it be a good idea to spend a couple days with your mother within that time?&amp;quot;


    I casually threw out this idea while I was dicing up the carrots, being careful to make it sound as if it was for the sake of his mother when in actuality, it was for my benefit.


    &amp;quot;I don¡¯t see her that often at home anyways,&amp;quot; he replied. &amp;quot;She spends more time on a ne than at home.&amp;quot;


    This was true. Whether it was his younger brother¡¯s preschool graduation, elementary entrance ceremony, or any event that parents usually attended, JiKyung seemed to always go on her behalf. As a result, there had been no one to attend JiKyung¡¯s preschool graduation or elementary entrance ceremony. Because my mother had been alive at that time, JiKyung and I, like twin brother and sister, were able to walk through our graduation and entrance together, both of us holding my mother¡¯s hand. After elementary school, however, even that option was no longer a possibility.


    &amp;quot;Your mother is such a busy woman, it is a bit difficult to see her,&amp;quot; I admitted. &amp;quot;She even told me I could n the wedding on my own.&amp;quot;


    After I finished cutting up the carrots, I dumped them into a pot. Then I took out the beef I had put in water and continued on.


    &amp;quot;Wait!&amp;quot; Lee JiHan shouted as I went to ce the beef on the cutting board.


    I froze momentarily and turned my head to look at him. He looked at me, horrified.


    &amp;quot;How could you do such a thing,&amp;quot; he scolded. &amp;quot;Are you even human?&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;What, why?&amp;quot; I asked, bewildered. &amp;quot;Is something wrong?&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;How could you put the beef on top of your vegetable cutting board!&amp;quot; he shouted.


    &amp;quot;What?&amp;quot; I stared at him in confusion.


    &amp;quot;Vegetables with vegetables and meat with meat. Don¡¯t you know you have to use separate cutting boards?&amp;quot;


    His yelling spooked me so badly that I apologized automatically.


    &amp;quot;Ah, Sor...Sorry,&amp;quot; I stammered.


    &amp;quot;This was intentional. You didn¡¯t differentiate between the cutting boards so that I would get food poisoning!&amp;quot; Lee JiHan said usingly.


    &amp;quot;Oh, no it¡¯s not like that,&amp;quot; I insisted. &amp;quot;I really didn¡¯t know!&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;What? You didn¡¯t know? You¡¯re really one dangerous person aren¡¯t you. You are going to kill someone with your cooking! You don¡¯t even know something as simple as that, and you dare to even think about living with my brother and making his food!&amp;quot;


    Lee JiHan went into a wild rage, treating me as if I was a girl determined to kill my husband. I hurriedly pulled out a new cutting board and ced the beef on it.


    While trying to maintain a smiling face, I answered sweetly, &amp;quot;You¡¯re right, it¡¯s such a relief to learn about this before I made a big mistake. If it wasn¡¯t for you, I could have made JiKyung sick! At least now, that won¡¯t happen. This is all thanks to you young master.&amp;quot;


    I folded my two hands over my stomach and bowed a full 90 degrees. When my head came back up, Lee JiHan¡¯s expression was incredulous.


    &amp;quot;Stop it with that young master crap. Hearing it makes me cringe,&amp;quot; he said.


    &amp;quot;But isn¡¯t that what one calls a brother-inw?&amp;quot; I spoke in the manner a granddaughter-inw would approach a grandmother-inw.


    &amp;quot;That title will only ring true if you do eventually end up dirtying my brother¡¯s good family name by marrying into the family. As of right now, you are not my sister inw,&amp;quot; he spat back.


    &amp;quot;Dirty your family name?&amp;quot; I asked, hurt.


    &amp;quot;I¡¯m talking about marriage, marriage. Your name is a smear of dirt on my brother¡¯s pure as the first December snow family lineage.&amp;quot;


    However obnoxious he is, let¡¯s be patient, I told myself. However angry he makes me, I must keep my cool. Don¡¯t talk back, don¡¯t talk back....


    &amp;quot;But isn¡¯t calling you young master better than calling you, you there, dude, jerk face...something to that extent?&amp;quot; I asked.


    &amp;quot;Not necessarily.&amp;quot; Lee JiHan replied as if both options were extremely unappealing.


    &amp;quot;Then should I call you by your name? JiHan¨C&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Wow, no way,&amp;quot; he interrupted. &amp;quot;That¡¯s the worst.&amp;quot;


    Lee JiHan shuddered in disgust.


    Wow, me calling you by your name is that spine chilling? If I say your name, does some bad omen spirit mp itself onto you? Really.


    &amp;quot;Well, how about instead of master, I call you mister.&amp;quot;


    Mister, mister, freakin mister.


    I cursed him inside my head as I sliced the beef with the knife I was holding. The knife de must have been a good one because it cut the thick meat smoothly in one stroke. Lee JiHan stood next to me, watching and evaluating my knife skills.


    &amp;quot;You probably imagined yourself a wealthy housewife livingfortably with a housekeeper by your side, but you are sadly mistaken,&amp;quot; he said. &amp;quot;It¡¯s not like we¡¯re bringing some great princess into the family. We¡¯re taking in a peasant.&amp;quot;


    It took all my effort to stop myself from cringing at his continuous nagging.


    &amp;quot;If you¡¯re not going to do anything other than eat us out of house and home, I don¡¯t know why we should bother bringing in a ve...&amp;quot;


    I had been nning to ignore hisments, just let them go in through one ear and out the other, but he suddenly stopped talking. Wondering what happened, I chanced a quick look in his direction. Lee JiHan stood frozen, staring at the cutting board.


    &amp;quot;What, what now?&amp;quot; I asked.


    The disquieting atmosphere left me terrified of what was toe. Lee JiHan muttered something without taking his eyes off the cutting board.


    &amp;quot;Cock...&amp;quot; he murmured.


    &amp;quot;What?&amp;quot; I was confused.


    &amp;quot;Cock!&amp;quot; Lee JiHan yelled, grabbing my shoulders tightly. His sight was still locked onto the cutting board.


    &amp;quot;Cock?&amp;quot; Still confused, I examined the cutting board. There, crawling at the edge of the cutting board, was a cockroach.


    &amp;quot;Oh, cockroach!&amp;quot; As I finally understood, he nodded his head in agreement.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;I guess you don¡¯t like cockroaches,&amp;quot; I said.


    &amp;quot;Are there people who like cockroaches?!&amp;quot; He asked in disbelief.


    &amp;quot;I don¡¯t, like, hate them,&amp;quot; I admitted.


    I¡¯ve killed so many cockroaches at the theatre and in my house that they were nothing but a very familiar,monce bug to me. Without much hesitation, my hands went out toward the roach. With the side of the knife, I swung down hard and killed it.


    Upon seeing this, Lee JiHan screamed as if he himself had felt the pain of the cockroach.


    &amp;quot;It¡¯s okay now. It¡¯s dead,&amp;quot; I assured him.


    I took the knife with the cockroach carcass stuck to its handle and carried it to the sink. I turned on the faucet and watched as the cockroach washed down the sink, then continued to clean the knife with soap.


    I walked back to the cutting board with the now clean knife in hand.


    Lee JiHan grabbed my arm and cried out, &amp;quot;What do you think you¡¯re doing?!&amp;quot;


    I blinked rapidly in confusion. Lee JiHan was shaking in anger. So much so that even his hands were trembling. His anger exploded.


    &amp;quot;How could you bring that knife back! Do you know how many viruses could have seeped out of that roach¡¯s body the moment you crushed it with that knife?!


    &amp;quot;Oh, it¡¯s fine,&amp;quot; I said. &amp;quot;I cleaned it really well.&amp;quot;


    I was wondering what all the fuss was about, He sure was a worry wart. Unfazed, I went to cut the beef with the knife.


    &amp;quot;Disgusting!&amp;quot; Agitated, Lee JiHan roughly grabbed at my wrist which was holding the knife.


    Violently, he twisted my wrist painfully, causing me to lose my grip on the knife. Without any way to stop it, the knife slid through my fingers toward the ground.


    My mind went numb the moment I looked to the floor. I had thought this cold hearted man had neither blood nor tears. Turns out he does have tears. And a weak spot. And...blood. I came to this somewhat obvious realization while staring, dazed, at Lee JiHan¡¯s knife grazed foot.


    ***


    I sat crouched, hugging my legs and crying into the phone as I confessed to JiKyung what had just happened.


    [That could have been big trouble.] Jikyung said through the phone.


    &amp;quot;It was lucky, the knife only grazed him.&amp;quot;


    The image of Lee JiHan¡¯s bleeding foot brought tears to my eyes again.


    &amp;quot;If it had stabbed him, his toe could have been chopped off!&amp;quot;


    [Not that. Your cooking would have been finished.]


    &amp;quot;What?&amp;quot; I asked, unsure of what he meant.


    [If you were able toplete your cooking, that would have been big trouble.]


    &amp;quot;Why would that be trouble?&amp;quot;


    [You don¡¯t know? You¡¯re no good at cooking.]


    &amp;quot;Me?&amp;quot; This sudden revtion stopped my tears.


    [If JiHan ate your cooking, all hell would have broken loose. He would rant about how this wedding cannot happen and will probably refuse your very existence.]


    &amp;quot;I cook reasonably well, don¡¯t I?&amp;quot;


    [It¡¯s good for your taste buds. Because you eat anything. But there really isn¡¯t a lot of people out there that can eat like you.]


    &amp;quot;Oh...&amp;quot; I was shocked and disappointed to hear this.


    [Plus, my brother is extremely picky. I¡¯m sorry my brother got hurt and all, but the fact that your cooking got stopped is the best luck in the world.]


    &amp;quot;Is...Is that so?&amp;quot;


    [So, how is JiHan doing?]


    &amp;quot;He went to the hospital right away....&amp;quot;


    [I thought it was just a scratch? He went to the hospital for that?]


    &amp;quot;It¡¯s not that. He¡¯s afraid he¡¯ll get an infection because it was a knife that I used to kill a roach. He went to get it sterilized...&amp;quot;


    JiKyungughed out loud. I, on the other hand, could barely hold back my tears as the memory was renewed fresh in my mind.


    &amp;quot;What am I going to do? What do I do? He¡¯s bleeding because of me! He¡¯s going to hold this against me! What do I do about this?&amp;quot;


    I pleaded for an answer, but I heard someone at the door. Thinking it must be Lee JiHan, I hurriedly hung up the phone. Lee JiHan soon stomped into the living room.


    &amp;quot;Wel..wee back,&amp;quot; I stammered. &amp;quot;How¡¯s your foot? What did they say at the hospital?&amp;quot;


    I stood up quickly and stepped towards Lee JiHan. The moment he saw me, he stopped in his tracks.


    &amp;quot;Luckily, there is no threat to my life.&amp;quot;


    He said this as if such a possibility had been real. Then, in a decisive tone, he said,


    &amp;quot;Out.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;What?!&amp;quot;


    I knew it, I knew it this would happen. I am getting kicked out again!


    In that moment, I felt so deted, but then Lee JiHan said something unexpected.


    &amp;quot;Let¡¯s go out. To the mall.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;The mall? Why all of a sudden¨C&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;All of a sudden? That¡¯s what I¡¯d like to ask. Why did a cockroach all of a sudden appear in this house?&amp;quot; he said harshly.


    &amp;quot;Huh?&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Before you showed up, this never happened. My brother¡¯s house, which is as pure as the first snow of December, has never had something so dirty appear. This is your fault, you brought in that dirtiness.&amp;quot; He red at me.


    &amp;quot;Come on, it¡¯s natural to have bugs in a house where people live,&amp;quot; I said. &amp;quot;You won¡¯t find a house that doesn¡¯t have bugs.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;This house didn¡¯t have bugs! Before you stepped foot in it, this one didn¡¯t!&amp;quot;


    No way. What, is this the corporate headquarters of Cesco?


    I wanted to argue but I resisted. Instead, I hung my head in shame like a repentant sinner.


    &amp;quot;I¡¯m sorry. I should have watched my surroundings beforeing here. I didn¡¯t know the roaches would follow me. I¡¯ll call Cesco right away.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;I¡¯ve already called Cesco. So what you have to do now is to rece everything. Immediately. Now.&amp;quot;


    Lee JiHan spread his arms and pointed at the kitchen.


    &amp;quot;Everything?&amp;quot; The shock of seeing the sheer size of the kitchen prompted me to question him when I shouldn¡¯t have.


    Realizing my mistake, I quickly shook my head. &amp;quot;No, no. Of course I will. I¡¯ll change everything. All brand new.&amp;quot;


    I was determined to do whatever he desired.

 Chapter 7

    <h4>Chapter 7</h4>


    I almost had a heart attack when I checked the price tags on the tableware in the store. Who in their right mind would pay this much for a te? Even as I was wondering that, I realized that person was me.


    &amp;amp;quot;Ugh.&amp;amp;quot; I sighed unintentionally.


    Upon remembering the existence of Lee JiHan next to me, I was forced to quickly change my expression and pretend to be okay with all of this.


    It¡¯s okay, it¡¯s okay. You needed to prepare a dowry anyways, right?


    Trying to control my emotions, I nced up at Lee JiHan. He was watching me with his arms crossed and an expression that clearly said &amp;amp;quot;Let¡¯s see how well you can choose.&amp;amp;quot;


    I had to choose well, but How was I supposed to know which one was good or not?


    I lowered my gaze toward the disys and cradled a bowl carefully in my hands. No matter how much I looked, the only thought in my head was that this was too expensive. I had no idea how to decipher which of these expensive pieces were the best.


    I slowly put down the bowl and decided to ask a sales rep for help.


    &amp;amp;quot;Which of these would you rmend as the best option?&amp;amp;quot; I asked.


    &amp;amp;quot;Ma¡¯am, all of our products are the best,&amp;amp;quot; the sales rep said, smiling courteously while delivering an utterly useless answer. With no alternative, I wracked my brain, chewing at my fingernails. Finally, I came to the decision that it would be safe to assume that the most expensive one would be the best.


    &amp;amp;quot;Um...then could I have the one that is the most expensive...?&amp;amp;quot; I asked the sales rep.


    &amp;amp;quot;Spending money haphazardly. Oh, you¡¯re that type of girl.&amp;amp;quot;


    As if he had been waiting for me to make a mistake, Lee JiHan came down on me before I had even finished my sentence.


    &amp;amp;quot;No, uh...not the most expensive one. The one that¡¯s the most popr...&amp;amp;quot; I said quickly.


    Even as I changed my words, he just as easily found something else to scold me about.


    &amp;amp;quot;Buying what others buy without any thought. Well figures, you have no knowledge of the subject, so how could you even have an opinion.&amp;amp;quot;


    &amp;amp;quot;Never mind!&amp;amp;quot; I cried desperately, &amp;amp;quot;Give me the one that no one buys!&amp;amp;quot;


    I tried to change my answer to the opposite of what he was reprimanding me for. Lee JiHan scoffed in exasperation at this.


    &amp;amp;quot;You¡¯re going to buy something that no one would even take if it was handed to them for free and give that to my brother?&amp;amp;quot;


    &amp;amp;quot;Oh! That! That one looks good. That one,&amp;amp;quot; I said.


    Running away from Lee JiHan¡¯s criticisms, I stopped in front of a disy of tesbeled Vera Wang special edition.


    Vera Wang? Wang special edition would be the very best, right? But if this te designer is Vera Wang (king in korean) which country king would that be? Whoever designed these tes has the same name as that wedding dress designer.


    Of the designs, I chose the highly entric looking pink te and examined it. In an instant, Lee JiHan approached me and began chastising me.


    &amp;amp;quot;Tableware designed by a famous wedding dress designer. Of all the things to choose, you choose the one with no foundation.&amp;amp;quot;


    &amp;amp;quot;Oh...this Vera Wang is that same Vera Wang?&amp;amp;quot; I asked.


    &amp;amp;quot;That¡¯s right, ma¡¯am,&amp;amp;quot; the sales rep answered my question with pride in her voice. &amp;amp;quot;This is a special edition design by the famous Vera Wang.&amp;amp;quot;


    The moment the words left the rep¡¯s mouth, Lee JiHan poured out his discontent.


    &amp;amp;quot;You think if it¡¯s designed by a famous person, then it must be good, right? You can¡¯t even tell if this design is for a te or a wedding dress. Are you nning to sit a Barbie doll on top of it or eat out of it? How could you even think to have my brother use a design like this? You can¡¯t even be bothered spare a thought for the man you will be using this with, you selfish woman.&amp;amp;quot;


    The sales rep looked embarrassed, and I, having witnessed this, was doubly embarrassed. My face glowed hot. I tried to quickly calm myself andughed lightheartedly to let the sales rep know it was okay.


    &amp;amp;quot;We¡¯ll just choose on our own,&amp;amp;quot; I told the rep.


    &amp;amp;quot;Yes ma¡¯am. Please look around at your own convenience.&amp;amp;quot;


    The sales rep left with an ufortable smile and hurriedly escaped our presence. I fanned my face with the te I was holding. After I cooled off, I carefully put down the te and asked Lee JiHan a question.


    &amp;amp;quot;Young master, which do you think would be the best option?&amp;amp;quot;


    &amp;amp;quot;I¡¯m pretty sure I told you not to call me that,&amp;amp;quot; he said violently.


    I quickly changed the way I called him. &amp;amp;quot;Oh, I forgot. Not young master, just mister. Mister, which tes do you like?&amp;amp;quot;


    &amp;amp;quot;Why are you asking me? You aren¡¯t even capable of choosing this on your own?&amp;amp;quot;


    &amp;amp;quot;No,&amp;amp;quot; I admitted. &amp;amp;quot;I am unable to.&amp;amp;quot;


    Because whatever I choose, you will find something wrong with it.


    I answered with certainty. Lee JiHan was surprised by my answer and stared into my eyes with a look of exasperation. I held my two hands near my heart and quietly exined my reasons.


    &amp;amp;quot;JiKyung is going to be using it, and I can¡¯t just pick anything. Your opinion will be much better than mine, no, it will be the very best.&amp;amp;quot;


    &amp;amp;quot;What are you talking about?&amp;amp;quot;


    &amp;amp;quot;Who in this world knows JiKyung better than you? If it¡¯s about JiKyung, you know a thousand times more than I do. So obviously, you will know and be able to choose which products JiKyung will like. I confidently believe that.&amp;amp;quot;


    Lee JiHan narrowed his eyes with his face askew. But he didn¡¯t try to cut me off. He looked as if he would continue to listen, so I quickly continued talking.


    &amp;amp;quot;I want to choose the style that JiKyung will like but I don¡¯t have the skill, that only lies in you. In this instance, what does my opinion even matter? I will follow your direction.&amp;amp;quot;


    Silence.


    &amp;amp;quot;Of course, JiKyung will like it too if he knew his brother chose it for him.&amp;amp;quot;


    I humbled myself and gave up my power of decision to him. I utilized all my prowess to avoid getting yelled at, but I was starting to be afraid even this ploy would get me in trouble. I waited anxiously for his response.


    &amp;amp;quot;Psh.&amp;amp;quot; Lee JiHan scoffed at the ridiculousness of my tactic.


    I knew I was screwed. So screwed.


    &amp;amp;quot;What could I possibly expect from this pathetic girl. How much could she possibly know about my brother,&amp;amp;quot; Lee JiHan muttered loud enough that I could hear.


    With a look of exasperation, he chose a te and picked it up. He examined the te with a look of superiority and said, &amp;amp;quot;Well. There really isn¡¯t anyone that knows as much about my brother as I do.&amp;amp;quot;


    Lee JiHan smirked. &amp;amp;quot;If you don¡¯t know as much as me, then you should stay put, yep.&amp;amp;quot; He nodded in agreement at his own thoughts and turned his head towards me. &amp;amp;quot;I¡¯ll choose, but you pay.&amp;amp;quot;


    &amp;amp;quot;Oh, yes, of course. Please just pick something for me,&amp;amp;quot; I answered right away.


    He looked me up and down. &amp;amp;quot;You sure know how to talk.&amp;amp;quot;


    His unexpectedpliment took me by surprise and I blinked. Did I do well? I was just about to get this thought through my head when Lee JiHan started another rant.


    &amp;amp;quot;You¡¯re only good at talking.&amp;amp;quot; He clicked his tongue, and went to the shelf next to him.


    Of course it wasn¡¯t apliment. Depressed, I stuck out my lower lip and with my eyes turned downward, I stared at the floor. I rubbed my toe into the floor. While Lee JiHan picked out tes, I traced swear words onto the floor with my shoes.


    ***


    Lee JiHan had made such a fuss and nit-picked at everything when I was doing the choosing, but he just picked everything. He chose every single one of the store¡¯s disy of tableware sets.


    I mean, if that was all he was going to do, why did he make such a big deal about it in the first ce? &amp;amp;quot;The design has to be like this, the use has to be like that.&amp;amp;quot; He was going to end up buying everything without any differentiation anyways!


    He even bought the Vera Wang special edition! After scolding me when I chose it!


    Because of my credit limit, I split the purchase between three different credit cards and shed a tear looking at the receipt. My precious money, gone. Even if I somehow got a million dors, I would never be able to spend like this.


    &amp;amp;quot;I mean, why do we need to buy 20 sets!&amp;amp;quot; I exploded, but remembered Lee JiHan was there and quietly changed my tone. &amp;amp;quot;There must be a reason you bought it. You wouldn¡¯t just buy all this without reason. Isn¡¯t that right?&amp;amp;quot;


    I tried with all my might to keep the smile on my face and looked up at Lee JiHan.


    &amp;amp;quot;My brother is no normal person,&amp;amp;quot; he replied, looking at me pitifully. &amp;amp;quot;He is a businessman. The leader of a worldpany. If you want to advance in this field, do you know how many people you have to meet?&amp;amp;quot;


    &amp;amp;quot;Of course, there will be a lot,&amp;amp;quot; I said.


    &amp;amp;quot;Then there will be a lot of times where he will have to invite people over to his home. You have to take into ount each guests¡¯ unique style. If you want to match their tastes then you will have to prepare a variety of options. You don¡¯t even know something this basic? I can¡¯t believe I have to teach you every little thing.&amp;amp;quot;


    &amp;amp;quot;I would¡¯ve never imagined such a deep meaning behind this purchase,&amp;amp;quot; I said, pping my hands. &amp;amp;quot;I couldn¡¯t possibly have that thought of that. And not just me. A person that could think of such things is rare, I¡¯m sure there aren¡¯t many people like you. It is an idea that¡¯s beyond me. Your love and care for your brother runs so deep. JiKyung must have saved a country in his past life to have gained a brother like you. I¡¯m so envious of JiKyung.&amp;amp;quot;


    What the heck did I do in my past life that I ended up with a brother inw like this.


    With a smiling face, I swallowed my tears. Suddenly, LeeJiHan turned his back and walked in hurriedly out of the store. What the...? What¡¯s he doing? Is he ignoring me all together now?


    I carried one set and requested the rest to be delivered, then followed Lee JiHan. Even though I hurried out of the store, he had already gone. Just in case, I checked the other stores on the same floor but he was nowhere to be found.


    Why? We didn¡¯t even finish shopping for all the kitchen appliances.....


    This jerk! Did he go home and lock all the doors?! Am I being kicked out again?


    ***


    Lee JiHan


    This tiny girl had a knack for brown nosing; saying all those things that were true, but still good to hear from someone else. I almostughed in front of her. I can¡¯t believe I almostughed in front of her. That can never happen. A scoff, a sarcastic sneer maybe but sincereughter, no.


    I washed my hands in the bathroom sink, and set my mind straight.


    No matter what she says, no matter how good it feels to hear her say it, I cannot, will not, smile. I have to remain diligent. If I were to smile, we might develop some sort of mutual bond.


    That girl is smarter than she appears. She knows that in order to gain my brother¡¯s hand in marriage, she cannot beat me. However unreasonable I am, she just epts it believing that it is the best way to support my brother. She may be quick witted and on point after all. Well, at least I like that one thing about her. Even so, she went from a negative 100 to a negative 99. I turned off the faucet, wiped my hand on my handkerchief, and left the bathroom.


    When I returned to the store, Na AhJung was talking to the sales rep. I knew she had already finished the transaction, but if that was the case, why was she handing the sales rep her credit card again? Assuming there had been some error during the time I was in the bathroom, I watched as the sales rep ced a tableware set on the counter.


    &amp;amp;quot;Would you like this one?&amp;amp;quot;


    At the sales rep¡¯s question, Na AhJung shook her head.


    &amp;amp;quot;No, No. Not that one. That, the more expensive one. Please give me that one.&amp;amp;quot; Na AhJung pointed to a set that was behind the sales rep.


    There, all the sets I had chosen were stacked high, but she was only pointing at one. The rep grabbed it and ced it at the register.


    &amp;amp;quot;Then should I only process this one for payment?&amp;amp;quot;


    Na AhJung examined the set and chewed at her fingernails.


    &amp;amp;quot;Oh...but this one the design is too extravagant so wouldn¡¯t you be able to tell if it went missing from the group?&amp;amp;quot; she asked.


    &amp;amp;quot;Then how about you take out the one that¡¯s the most expensive after that,&amp;amp;quot; suggested the sales rep.


    &amp;amp;quot;Oh! Yes, yes. Please do that.&amp;amp;quot;


    Na AhJung¡¯s eyes twinkled and she nodded her head vigorously.


    I approached her.


    &amp;amp;quot;You think just that one is enough?&amp;amp;quot;


    At the sound of my question, Na AhJung turned and screamed. Not worrying about whether she felt the need to scream or not, I calmly added.


    &amp;amp;quot;Why don¡¯t you just remove all the purchases and tell me to my face you didn¡¯t.&amp;amp;quot;


    &amp;amp;quot;Uh, uh, uh,&amp;amp;quot; she stammered. &amp;amp;quot;So what happened was.....&amp;amp;quot;


    I gave this girl a negative 99, had I been too generous? More like negative 199.


    &amp;amp;quot;Never mind, just cancel everything,&amp;amp;quot; I said. &amp;amp;quot;Your wedding too, cancel it.&amp;amp;quot;


    With thosest words, I coldly turned and left the store. Na AhJung chased frantically after me.


    &amp;amp;quot;It¡¯s not that. It¡¯s just I thought you left me, abandoned me, and went back home,&amp;amp;quot; she said.


    &amp;amp;quot;So, in your anger you decided to take out one of the tableware sets?&amp;amp;quot; I didn¡¯t turn back and instead looked straight ahead as I spoke..


    &amp;amp;quot;Oh, no. What do you mean angry? I just thought I was toote to catch up to you so I just thought that maybe I could leave a bitter,&amp;amp;quot; she exined.


    &amp;amp;quot;Then you thought, this would be the perfect time to get rid of one? And fool me?&amp;amp;quot; Still only looking forward, I got on the downward esctor. It wasn¡¯t until I was halfway down that I realized it was quiet behind me. What the...? did she not get on? Shouldn¡¯t she be chasing after me like her life depended on it, but she dares to not?


    In utter abhorrence I turned quickly around, and there Na AhJung stood. She had her head hung low and there were tears in her eyes.


    &amp;amp;quot;Why aren¡¯t you answering me?&amp;amp;quot; I asked rudely.


    &amp;amp;quot;I...didn¡¯t mean...to fool you.&amp;amp;quot; Na AhJung¡¯s shoulders trembled up and down. And with a shaking voice, she continued. &amp;amp;quot;It¡¯s just...I hoped you wouldn¡¯t notice...I prayed that you wouldn¡¯t.&amp;amp;quot;


    How could she say such a ridiculous thing so sorrowfully? I red at Na AhJung whose face looked as if she held the entire world¡¯s sadness in her heart.


    &amp;amp;quot;Look. Hoping I wouldn¡¯t notice means you wanted to fool me. Who goes around saying I¡¯m going to fool you so I¡¯m letting you know what happened?


    &amp;amp;quot;That¡¯s¨C&amp;amp;quot;


    &amp;amp;quot;And you crying will not work on me. How many times have you cried in front of me, you should know that by now. Crying for every little thing. That¡¯s such a turn off.&amp;amp;quot;


    Let¡¯s take this opportunity to really embarrass her. Maybe then she would get the message to stay away from my brother.


    With my arms crossed, I turnedpletely to face Na AhJung. &amp;amp;quot;Your tears may have worked on my innocent brother but it will not work on me. I... huh? Ahh!&amp;amp;quot;


    Something seemed to catch my heel and I faltered. I turned around quickly to see my predicament. I had already reached the bottom of the esctor and my heels hit the metal at its end. I tried to catch myself but it was already toote. My body swayed and fell backward.

 Chapter 8

    <h4>Chapter 8</h4>


    With rickety steps, I walked out of the mall parking lot.


    &amp;quot;Are you okay? Are you sure you don¡¯t have to go to the hospital?&amp;quot; Na AhJung followed me with worry in her voice. &amp;quot;It was really loud when you fell...Are you sure you¡¯re okay?&amp;quot;


    I stopped walking and with my teeth clenched replied to her, &amp;quot;Are you a goldfish? Do you forget after 3 seconds? I already told you I was okay? Three times.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;It¡¯s just that I¡¯m so worried...What if you are not okay but are just saying you are ok...&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;If I¡¯m not okay, then there must be a reason I¡¯m saying I am okay!&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;What, why? Are you embarrassed? It¡¯s nothing to be embarrassed about. It¡¯s alright. You¡¯re only human, you can fall. Don¡¯t worry about it. I understand,&amp;quot; she said.


    &amp;quot;You think I care if you understand or not? No, do you think this is something you should even try to understand in the first ce? This is something you should be apologizing for!&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Me? Why?&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Because it¡¯s all your fault!&amp;quot; I blurted out angrily, and stomped toward the car.


    &amp;quot;What?!&amp;quot;


    That¡¯s right. The reason I fell is because of this girl. If this girl didn¡¯t distract me. If I wasn¡¯t paying attention to her! I never would have fallen so shamefully. From the very beginning, her very existence was the cause of my fall!


    After a few steps I arrived at the car and opened the driver¡¯s side door. I saw Na AhJung head toward the passenger¡¯s side. I pretended to not have seen her and locked the door after I got in. Na AhJung¡¯s hands grabbed the door handle toote.


    &amp;quot;Uh, mister,&amp;quot; she said. &amp;quot;The door is not opening!&amp;quot;


    Na AhJung knocked on the outside window, but I didn¡¯t even spare a nce and started to back out of the parking spot. She continued to knock and followed the car.


    &amp;quot;Mister! I didn¡¯t get in, Mister!&amp;quot; Na AhJung called out desperately, but after I backed out I changed the gear with a smirk.


    Looking straight ahead, I stepped on the eleration. The car veered forward and increased to a speed Na Ahkung could not keep up with. hen the car passed Na Ahjung, she let out a scream. A scream so loud it was practically a shriek. I mmed on the breaks and checked the rear view mirror. Behind the car, Na AhJung looked to have fallen down. She was holding her foot with a pained expression on her face.


    ***


    Na AhJung


    The ident happened without warning. Lee JiHan¡¯s back wheel had run over my righ toe. The moment I felt the pressure on my big toe, I was so caught off guard that I let out a scream. The car wheel passed over my toe swiftly, and I lost my bnce and fell down.


    &amp;quot;O...&amp;quot; I cried.


    My foot got run over, run over!


    I was in shock as I held my pained foot. I was checking it out to see if it was ok when Lee JiHan ran over. He knelt down beside me with eyes wide in shock and examined my foot.


    &amp;quot;I didn¡¯t hit you with my car did I?&amp;quot; he asked.


    I was a bit disoriented so I was only able to nod and I again checked my right foot. My big toe was throbbing and it hurt so badly I was unable to put any strength on it.


    &amp;quot;Oh, my foot...! My foot, the bone must be broken...!&amp;quot; I started to tear up from fear when Lee JiHan yelled at me.


    &amp;quot;If you just got out of the way this wouldn¡¯t have happened?!&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Huh....?!&amp;quot;


    It was bad enough that I was in pain, I felt so betrayed that tears streamed down my face. My heart had been so surprised that I was unable to control my emotions and the tears continued to fall. At the same time, I couldn¡¯t help but voice my discontent.


    &amp;quot;What, even this is my fault? From the beginning: If a buges out, it¡¯s my fault. If you fall down, it¡¯s my fault. If you hit me, it¡¯s my fault. What did I do that was so wrong? I mean, even if you hate me that much, this is not right! Why would you hit a person? And with a car? I could have died!&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Just because I ran over your foot a little, you won¡¯t die. Stop overreacting.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Who was the one that ran to the hospital because he hurt his foot a little!&amp;quot; I yelled.


    Lee JiHan must have felt a pang of guilt because he flinched and looked down, stone faced, at my foot.


    &amp;quot;At least after you hurt your foot you were able to run around, I can¡¯t even move my foot! I can¡¯t move it!&amp;quot; I shrieked.


    &amp;quot;You really can¡¯t move your foot?&amp;quot; Lee JiHan asked with a serious expression.


    &amp;quot;What, you think I¡¯m faking that I can¡¯t move it? Really, what do you see me as?&amp;quot; I was so overwhelmed with sorrow that tears flowed continuously. Holding my hurting foot, I whimpered.


    &amp;quot;Oh, my leg...oh, my leg...&amp;quot; I moaned in agony.


    Soon, my moaning was cut short because all of a sudden, Lee JiHan lifted me into his arms. With one arm on my shoulder and the other wrapped around my two legs, he lifted me into his arms and ran to the car.


    ***


    While Lee JiHan drove to the hospital, I was more afraid for my life than my leg. At this speed, death seemed to be staring me in the face. Lee JiHan didn¡¯t say a word the whole way, he just had this determined expression on his face as if he was Batman to the rescue.


    Once we arrived at the hospital, Lee JiHan again swooped me up and rushed me to the emergency room. I was afraid I would fall so I wrapped myself around his neck as tight as I could while he took me to the emergency room beds.


    &amp;quot;Her foot got run over by a car wheel, please take a look at it quickly.&amp;quot; Lee JiHan¡¯s voice was serious as he rushed the doctor.


    &amp;quot;We¡¯ll just take off your shoes.&amp;quot; The doctor held his hand out toward my right foot as Iy on the bed. The moment the doctor¡¯s hands touched my shoes, I grabbed his arm in desperation.


    &amp;quot;You¡¯re just going to take it off?&amp;quot; I cried.


    &amp;quot;Yes,&amp;quot; replied the doctor. &amp;quot;Why? Does your foot hurt a lot? Do you think you won¡¯t be able to take it off?&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;It hurts too much&amp;quot; I replied. &amp;quot;Inside, I think my foot will be swollen. My toe nails will probably be broken, .and if you just take it off, I feel like it will hurt!&amp;quot; I cried in fear.


    &amp;quot;Does it hurt that much?&amp;quot; Lee JiHan asked with worry written all over his face. Watching that expression made me even more distraught. I imagined how gruesome my foot would be, and I med him for it.


    &amp;quot;Ah...! My leg, my leg....! Oh, what do I do....!&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Cutting off the shoes with scissors looks to be a good idea,&amp;quot; Lee JiHan told the Doctor in a serious tone.


    &amp;quot;Oh, all right.&amp;quot; As the doctor went to go get the scissors, Lee JiHan paced beside me not knowing what to do with himself.


    As the doctor took the scissors to my shoes, Lee JiHan squeezed my shoulder. Then he spoke to me face to face.


    &amp;quot;Just hold on a little. Taking it off like this won¡¯t hurt as much.&amp;quot;


    The doctor took the scissors and snip snip, started to cut open the shoes. The sound made it feel like my skin was being sliced up and it sent chills down my spine. At the same time, I was stuck imagining another gruesome scene which made me lose my mind a little. I grabbed Lee JiHan by the cor and shook him.


    &amp;quot;You think that just because you take it off without hurting me, this is okay? It¡¯s the next part that¡¯s the problem! The next part! Shit, what are you going to do about my leg, my leg!&amp;quot;


    The doctor had carefully slipped off the shoes, and even cut off the sock. As the air touched my bare feet, I covered my face to shield myself from the horrific sight.


    &amp;quot;Ah, I can¡¯t look....&amp;quot;


    Lee JiHan grabbed my wrist, moved it down and looked into my eyes.


    &amp;quot;Na AhJung, it¡¯s not that big a deal,&amp;quot; he said calmly. &amp;quot;Even if it is, I will do whatever it takes to make sure you are fine and I will take full responsibility for it.&amp;quot; His tone made me feel reassured. &amp;quot;I will take care of it. So whatever happens, don¡¯t panic.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Uh, miss?&amp;quot; said the Doctor. &amp;quot;Look here.&amp;quot;


    For a second, I twitched and looked at Lee JiHan with fear in my eyes. He took my two hands in his and gazed into my eyes to remind me I was okay, and nodded his head. There was no way around it, so I took a deep breath and epted my fate. My gaze slowly moved toward my foot.


    I stared at my foot, which was not gruesome whatsoever, butpletely and utterly fine. Not even a single scratch.


    &amp;quot;From the outside, it looks to be fine.&amp;quot; Said the doctor.


    Seriously...Why is my foot so normal? I didn¡¯t even get a cracked toenail?


    &amp;quot;Your big toe is a bit red but it looks to be a slight sprain...Does it hurt a lot?&amp;quot; The doctor examined my right foot and shook his head.


    &amp;quot;It...it hurts. It had hurt a lot!&amp;quot; I insisted.


    &amp;quot;It will hurt if you put pressure on it. By tomorrow there will probably be severe bruising.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;It doesn¡¯t just hurt when there¡¯s pressure. It¡¯s my big toe, I was unable to move it before.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;How about now?&amp;quot;


    I concentrated on my toe and carefully tried to move it. &amp;quot;Oh...it moves now....&amp;quot;


    It was a bit stiff but seeing the rtively normal toe made me contemte the body¡¯s mysterious turn of events. I was sure that before, it had hurt so much that I couldn¡¯t move it but by the time I got in the car and got here, it must have healed itself. It was mysterious and kind of embarrassing. Damn.


    I felt Lee JiHan¡¯s hands slip away from mine and I swallowed hard, my throat dry.


    &amp;quot;Oh, I mean, why is it moving? Before, it really didn¡¯t move?&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Do you want me to make it not move permanently?&amp;quot; Like the calm before the storm, I shrank under Lee JiHan¡¯s cid voice.


    &amp;quot;Uh, no....&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;I knew you were an actress told ten years, but I can¡¯t believe I almost fell for it! I thoroughly enjoyed your acting. I¡¯ve never seen acting that was so realistic, and I didn¡¯t even have to pay for it. I can¡¯t thank you enough.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;I, that was not acting. Really, it hurt a lot!&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;I¡¯m not going to believe your excuses so let¡¯s pretend I didn¡¯t hear it. Let¡¯s just be thankful that you can walk with that foot. So you can head home using those two feet, by yourself.&amp;quot;


    With those cold words, Lee JiHan left without looking back.


    &amp;quot;Uh, mis...mister?&amp;quot; I stammered.


    There wasn¡¯t even a chance to try and catch him, Lee JiHan exited the emergency room speedily. I nced at my bare right foot and my cut up shoes and was tear stricken, contemting what I should do.


    ***


    Lying there in my stepmother¡¯s living room, I remembered the embarrassing scene that had urred a couple of hours ago and kicked the nket off.


    I mean, I¡¯m positive that it had hurt a lot! Why am I only getting a bruise? Grr, what an embarrassment....


    I buried my face in my hands. It would have been better if I had definitely gotten hurt. Why does it just hurt a lot but look fine? He¡¯s going to treat me like I faked the pain when I was fine. Shoot. After this embarrassing fiasco, how could I face Lee JiHan again? Just imagining it was insanely ufortable. Who would have thought I would find a ce more ufortable than here.


    I looked around my bedroom, which was actually a living room, and thought that although it wasn¡¯t the best, it was probably better than any ce near Lee JiHan. Even though I had not once thought of this ce as a home, at least Lee JiHan was not here. This fact alone made me realize there was nothing else I wanted.


    But tomorrow, tomorrow¡¯s sun would rise, and I would have to see Lee JiHan again. How could I face Lee JiHan tomorrow? Just thinking about it was agonizing and I kicked the air above me. My cell phone, which had been sitting near my head, started to ring. I flipped myself over onto my stomach and answered it.


    It had rang at this exact time before. This same unknown number. I got a strange chilling feeling, and I hesitated before answering.


    &amp;quot;He...Hello?&amp;quot;


    [Are you noting?]


    &amp;quot;What?!&amp;quot;


    I was so surprised by Lee JiHan¡¯s voice that I shot up and sat down.


    [You said you will gain my approval for this wedding. Did you give up already?]


    &amp;quot;Oh, no. I haven¡¯t. I haven¡¯t given up!&amp;quot;


    I heard him scoff over the phone.


    [If it¡¯s not a surrender then you better get over here now.]


    &amp;quot;Now? At this very moment?!&amp;quot;


    [I will only go to sleep after I confirm you came back home. If you want to deprive me of my sleep then go ahead ande as slowly as you want.]


    Lee JiHan hung up. I scrambled to my feet and ran so fast, I saw smoke.

 Chapter 9

    <h4>Chapter 9</h4>


    I held tightly to my cell phone and ran out into the night. I caught a taxi, and hurriedly arrived at JiKyung¡¯s house. I rushed into the living room and saw Lee JiHan on the sofa with his arms crossed and a sour look on his face as he red at me.


    &amp;quot;What were you doing at this hour that youe now?&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Oh, I, I was at home. My home. I was going to sleep there, ande back in the morning.&amp;quot;


    I hade so quickly at his beckoning that I had forgotten about my embarrassing situation. Lee JiHan answered back in a tone that clearly indicated his disapproval of me.


    &amp;quot;Two months, every day. 24 hours a day. I told you that I am going to live here with you for that time frame. I mentioned this a couple hours ago, didn¡¯t I?.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Oh...yes, you did.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;You wanted to annoy me so you went home on purpose, didn¡¯t you?&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;What?&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;My brother told you to use this house, but likest time you¡¯re going to pretend like I kicked you out. Isn¡¯t that why you went back to your house?&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Oh, no it¡¯s not!&amp;quot; I shook my two hands frantically in refusal. &amp;quot;It¡¯s not that, it¡¯s just...I just thought that a man and woman sleeping in the same house...although we are using separate rooms, but...you never know what could happen between a man and a woman. It¡¯s a bit...&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Are you assuming that I, a man, will do something to you, a woman?&amp;quot; Lee JiHan¡¯s eyes red at me in disbelief.


    &amp;quot;Well, no, I¡¯m not saying that. It¡¯s just that he world is a scary ce. I¡¯m just saying I should be careful about these things.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;So in other words, you think I am some sort of criminal?&amp;quot;


    At the sharp usation, I swallowed hard. Thinking it best not to test his patience, I folded my hands gracefully together and asked,


    &amp;quot;Which room should I be using?&amp;quot;


    Lee JiHan looked me up and down in disapproval, whipped around and threw me an answer.


    &amp;quot;Find whichever one you want. Do you have to ask me about every little thing? Can¡¯t you think for yourself?&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Okay....&amp;quot; I forced a smile and let his nagging words through one ear and out the other.


    Lee JiHan didn¡¯t even spare a nce at me as he got up from the sofa and walked to his bedroom.


    That room should have been mine...It¡¯s supposed to be...


    I looked forlornly toward the bedroom.


    Well, even if I¡¯m not able to get the bedroom, there are a lot of rooms avable. All the rooms here are good, right? With this positive thought, I moved to find my room.


    The house had a library and closet, guest room, and two empty rooms. Excluding the bathroom, I visited the 5 rooms and sat my butt down on the bed in the guest room. It was spacious, clean, and had everything that I needed. It was decorated like a luxurious hotel room and it lifted my spirits. I fell onto thefy bed.


    Ah...! Nice, nice!


    I rolled around to and fro in delight. But...


    &amp;quot;Hey!&amp;quot;


    The unexpected shout made me jump up. I didn¡¯t even know he was there, but there Lee JiHan stood in front of the door.


    &amp;quot;Yes?&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;I called you several times! Why are you noting? You should be ready and waiting for the moment I call, but instead you act like you don¡¯t even hear me, are you patronizing me?&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;You called? When? I didn¡¯t hear anything.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;I called you a hundred times from my bedroom.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Bedroom? Eh, if you called from the bedroom, of course I couldn¡¯t have heard you. There¡¯s quite a distance between there and here.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;So who told you to be here?&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;But...you told me to use any room.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Whichever room you decide to use is not my concern. But if and when I call you, you better haul your butt over in a hurry..&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;I would of course run to your service. Next time, please call me loudly so I can hear from my room.&amp;quot;


    Hearing my words, Lee JiHan pulled out a whistle from his pocket and held it to his lips. He blew it in short bursts. The whistle sounded like a weak hum and was practically inaudible.


    &amp;quot;I am going to call you with this.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;...I don¡¯t think that sound will carry all the way here,&amp;quot; I said.


    &amp;quot;If you put in the effort to hear it, there will be nothing you can¡¯t hear.&amp;quot; Lee JiHan said seriously.


    I wanted to ask him if he had any intention of ever listening to me, but I changed my mind and instead smiled widely before speaking.


    &amp;quot;I understand. I will always be near you, and my ear will be at constant attention. I will always be listening intently. Because I am your future sister-inw.&amp;quot;


    Yea...Let¡¯s go to the living room.


    I chose the ce I had to be at and brought over the pillow and nkets from the bed.


    ***


    Because I didn¡¯t know when Lee JiHan would blow his whistle, I couldn¡¯t get a wink of sleep and justy there with my eyes open. I was not able to reap any fruit from mybor, as the whistle did not sound once.


    &amp;quot;I should have just slept,&amp;quot; I sighed to myself as I stared at the morning sun outside the window. I rubbed my eyes which were foggy fromck of sleep and stood up.


    It¡¯s a new day anyways. I should try to gain some points by making breakfast.


    I stepped sadly into the package filled kitchen. Whatever kitchen stuff I had not bought with my own hands, Lee JiHan had bought itst night and ordered me to organize them all. Of course, Lee JiHan handed me the receipts to all of them and asked that I pay him back in cash. &amp;quot;All the things that you should have bought, I bought for you so it¡¯s right that you pay,&amp;quot; he¡¯d said.


    I sighed in desperation thinking about the cost written on the receipts. If I need to change everything in every corner of this house, I will end up owing more for my dowry than the contract money I received from JiKyung.


    No, it¡¯ll be fine, fine. It can¡¯t be that much, it can¡¯t be.


    I persuaded myself of this fact, stood in front of the cooktop and took out my phone. I then searched for an online recipe for the beef bourguignon that I was supposed to have made yesterday. I found a recipe on a famous blog and wrapped an apron on as I got ready to start.


    JiKyung¡¯s words suddenly shed in my brain.


    [You don¡¯t know? You¡¯re no good at cooking.]


    [If JiHan ate your cooking, all hell would have broken loose. He would rant about how this wedding cannot happen and will refuse your very existence.]


    As a consequence, I became a bit nervous and examined the recipe thoroughly.


    &amp;quot;An easy recipe for beginners....&amp;quot; I read the directions on the recipe out loud. I also read thements attached it.


    &amp;quot;If you follow the recipe, it will be a great sess.&amp;quot; All thements on the blog wereplimenting the author.


    Yea, I just have to follow it word by word. I¡¯m making it exactly the same as the others so what would be different?


    And plus, how much does Lee JiKyung know anyway? He only ate the food I made him a few times. Cookies twice, Kimbap once, that¡¯s it! He¡¯s judging me by that small sample? That¡¯s not right. Not right.


    I shook my head, opened the refrigerator, and took out the ingredients I had prepared yesterday.


    ***


    Saut¨¦e the prepped beef, stir in the tomatoes and vegetables, then put them in the sauce. Then, put in the wine and cook it long and slow on low heat. Add salt and pepper to taste....


    I now only have to put in the mushrooms and bring it to a boil. At the moment I was about to put in the mushrooms, I heard the door open from the bedroom. I put down the empty te and hurriedly went to greet Lee JiHan.


    &amp;quot;Did you sleep well? Good morning!&amp;quot; As I gave my morning greeting with a huge smile, Lee JiHan frowned and opened his mouth.


    &amp;quot;What is this gross smell? Did you let in a hobo?&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Smell? Ah, I made beef bourguignon. Does it smell okay? Is it weird?&amp;quot;


    Lee JiHan went toward the pot, closed his eyes, and with a serious look smelled the dish. A few momentster, he opened his eyes and red at me with discontent.


    &amp;quot;You didn¡¯t get rid of the meat smell.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Meat smell?&amp;quot;


    I put my head close to the pot and sniffed it.


    &amp;quot;Isn¡¯t this just the smell of meat when you boil it? It¡¯s supposed to be like this when you cook it.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Isn¡¯t it the basic cooking rule to get rid of the meat smell when cooking? Supposed to be like this? Are you a caveman? If the smell is like this, well, I don¡¯t even have to bother tasting it.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Mister. You never ate meat with a smell did you?&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Of course I haven¡¯t.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Then you shouldn¡¯t judge it based on its smell, if you try it, it¡¯ll taste good. I always ate it when it smelled like this, and it was always good! This will definitely taste good.&amp;quot;


    With certainty, I dipped a spoon in the soup and tasted it.


    &amp;quot;Mm, it¡¯s tasty!&amp;quot; After tasting it, I was so surprised that I shouted out. &amp;quot;Wow, I never knew this sort of taste coulde from my hands!&amp;quot;


    I was so overwhelmed with joy and looked down into the pot.


    &amp;quot;This is good?&amp;quot; Lee JiHan looked as if that possibly couldn¡¯t be true. He grabbed a new spoon and dipped it into the pot.


    &amp;quot;It¡¯s good, good!&amp;quot; Content with the result, I nodded my head and gazed hopefully up at Lee JiHan.


    He scooped up one spoonful and put it in his mouth. I waited anxiously filled with hope for his response. *Gulp* As I watched his adam¡¯s apple move, I too swallowed in anxiousness. It¡¯s tasty right? You have to give me credit for this?


    Lee JiHan turned his head away from my anxiously waiting self. He had on a look of disbelief. With eyes wide, he looked at me and said the same words he said before but in apletely different tone.


    &amp;quot;This is good?!&amp;quot;


    Wondering why he was acting that way I blinked in confusion. &amp;quot;Why? Isn¡¯t it good?&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;This is good?! This?&amp;quot; Lee JiHan pointed at the pot with his spoon , his eyes still wide. I had no idea what was going on and I looked at him.


    &amp;quot;Wow, look at those acting skills, that look of innocence.&amp;quot; Lee JiHan clucked his tongue and pped. &amp;quot;Acting like this is actually good tasting. It¡¯s really amazing. But why bother even acting? As soon as I tasted it, I was able to figure it out anyways!&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;What are you talking about? This isn¡¯t acting! Isn¡¯t it really good?&amp;quot; I was so disappointed by his reaction that I strongly expressed my opinion. I actually scooped up another spoonful and drank it. &amp;quot;It really is good! I mean, maybe you just want to scold me and are doing this on purpose? This really doesn¡¯t make any sense.&amp;quot;


    I was staring back with fire in my eyes. At that, Lee JiHan looked at me incredulously and instead of speaking, he let out a deep sigh. Then he asked a question.


    &amp;quot;Beef bourguignon, you¡¯ve never eaten it before have you. If you are going to make it correctly, you have to know what it¡¯s supposed to taste like. Let¡¯s experience it once and talk again.&amp;quot;


    Lee JiHan stalked right up to me and with his arms wide, put his hands around my waist.


    &amp;quot;Oh my God! What, what are you doing?&amp;quot; The sudden attempt at a hug surprised me so much I stepped back.


    Lee JiHan didn¡¯t even flinch, and came close to me again and pushed his chest towards me. My face burned red, but Lee JiHan slipped his hands behind my back and untied my apron.


    &amp;quot;Huh?&amp;quot;


    I had thought he was trying to hug me, but instead Lee JiHan merely took off my apron and stepped back. Without a second nce, he tied the apron around his waist.


    &amp;quot;There¡¯s more ingredients left in the fridge right?&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Huh? Uh, yes.....&amp;quot;


    Lee JiHan opened the fridge door and took out the ingredients. Oh. He was just going for the apron. I was a bit flustered so I closed my mouth and fanned at my reddened cheeks. Lee JiHan stood at the counter and put the ingredients on it.


    &amp;quot;Now watch what I am doing. Same ingredients, same tools, same recipe and I will make itpletely different.&amp;quot; Lee JiHan acted as if there was nothing easier than that and gracefully lifted the knife and sliced the beef in cubes.


    ***


    Lee JiHan¡¯s finished beef bourguignon was ced on the table and we both sat down. Due to the prolonged period of waiting, I was starving. My hand grabbed the spoon and flew at the bowl. I scooped a heap of thick soup and beef pieces onto my spoon and put it in my mouth. Lee JiHan watched me from the opposite side.


    &amp;quot;Oh my!&amp;quot; The moment my mouth was emptied, I couldn¡¯t help but exim in surprise.


    &amp;quot;Oh my, you studied abroad in America right? Did you major in cooking?&amp;quot;I asked Lee JiHan with my eyes wide. Before he could even reply, I put another spoonful in my mouth.&amp;quot;Wow, really! How could it taste like this?&amp;quot;


    My mouth emptied fast and I stared at the dish as if I was going to fall into it. I shoveled the beef bourguignon into my mouth, with my face practically buried in the bowl. At that moment, I hadpletely forgotten about Lee JiHan¡¯s existence.


    I scraped thest remnants from the bottom of my bowl and peered at the pot. Lee JiHan must have moved it at some point because the pot was sitting in the middle of the table. I finally registered Lee JiHan and looked over at him.


    &amp;quot;Could I get one more bowl?&amp;quot; I was so blinded by my gluttony that I wasn¡¯t even afraid of getting in trouble. Amazingly, he scooped up a bowlful and gave it to me and I inhaled the food at once.


    &amp;quot;Ah, seriously the best! This is not something just anyone can do! Mister, did you really not study cooking in America? I heard you were studying business management, did I make a mistake?&amp;quot;


    My overreacting words made Lee JiHan frown and ask.


    &amp;quot;Are you acting again?&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;Huh?&amp;quot;


    Lee JiHan looked at me suspiciously. But with a little time, his eyes softened.


    &amp;quot;Well, it does look like you are speaking the truth and not acting.&amp;quot; Lee JiHan looked smug and took the spoon to his bowl. He had been watching my reaction so intently that he had not taken one bite as of yet.


    &amp;quot;In actuality, this sort of recipe is the basic of the basics.&amp;quot; I can cook so many more amazing things than this. I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re making such a fuss over this.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;If this is basic...wow, it¡¯s really amazing! Really, are you a cooking major?&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;No I am not.&amp;quot;


    &amp;quot;What in the world! Then you learned to cook this well all by yourself? Isn¡¯t this sort of the standard of a genius? I thought a person like Dae Jang Geum only came out in dramas. I can¡¯t believe that someone like this actually exists! It¡¯s so fascinating!&amp;quot;


    My overreaction made Lee JiHan¡¯s lips quiver into a slight smile. Then, he suddenly covered his mouth with one hand, shot up and ran to the bathroom.


    Why is he acting like that? Was he rushed to use the bathroom?


    I shrugged off the confusion, and quickly poured myself another bowl.

 Chapter 10

    <h4>Chapter 10</h4>


    People used to say that there is no one that is unable to survive one year of a marriage test. It means that however difficult it may be, as long as the time is short, it is possible to push through it. I¡¯d like to meet the person who uttered those words. I cursed the person who spoke so easily of it. I had only endured a month of it and I¡¯ve already be ragged. I told this to Lee JiKyung over the phone.


    &quot;Even this one month is killing me, how do you expect me to do this for a year? I¡¯ll neverst a whole year. It¡¯s just a relief that it¡¯s only for two months.&quot;


    I was alone, other than the taxi driver. It had been the first time in a long time that I was able to speak my mind truthfully to JiKyung. A conversation that I could never utter in front of Lee JiHan.


    &quot;I feel like a prisoner with a month left of sentence before freedom. I put x¡¯s on the calendar counting down the days until you return.&quot;


    [Why did you choose to ept this useless challenge. You didn¡¯t have to.]


    &quot;Who would have known it would be this bad? This is worse than the army! I have to wake up whenever he blows that whistle. There¡¯s dust there, there¡¯s a mosquito there. He nit-picks at everything and forces me to work all day! I¡¯m starting to hear the whistle everywhere I go! I clean the house three times a day. Morning, afternoon, and night. Does this make sense? And yesterday...!&quot;


    [Yesterday?]


    &quot;He took out all your shirts and lined up the crooked buttons. He then told me to get rid of the dust between the button holes! Wow, seriously! Do you know how many shirts you have?! And if there is dust, how much possible dust could be on it! I wrapped a needle in a tissue and cleaned each button hole one by one. My hands are sore and my vision is all blurry now.&quot;


    [Why do you bother doing all of that. Should I tell him off?]


    &quot;What, no! You can¡¯t, you know nothing about this situation all right? If you act like you know, I¡¯ll never get approval from your brother.&quot;


    [You don¡¯t have to get his approval? We can get married, no problem, without his approval.]


    &quot;No, I want to get it. I want to.&quot;


    I remembered this time one month ago, where Lee JiHan¡¯s tears had made me weak.


    &quot;The fact that you¡¯re gay, I¡¯m a fake, and we¡¯re hiding everything and lying to get married is bad enough. I want to at least be a sister-inw your brother epts. That way, I can be at least a little bit okay with the situation as I walk down the aisle.&quot;


    [Well...That will make it easier on me too. If you can make that happen, I will be thankful...but don¡¯t overwork yourself.]


    &quot;What if I overwork myself a little? I only have a month left. If I do everything he asks of me, he will realize my efforts and change his mind. And its a $500,000 marriage, I can handle this much. Hey, if you go out into work life you get paid $50 and get stuck doing even worse things. For $500,000, it¡¯s actually not that bad.&quot;


    [Ok. But if you ever feel that you can¡¯t handle it, let me know.]


    &quot;Okay. Oh, but there is one good thing that came out of it&quot;


    [What?]


    &quot;Eating the food your brother makes. Hey, your brother is such a good cook. Although he does tter himself a lot, ¡®I bet you¡¯ve never tasted anything like this before?¡¯ air. Anyways for thest month, Lee JiHan has been making me 3 meals a day from scratch. And I, like a farmhand hungry for a good meal after a hard day¡¯s work, am devouring it graciously.&quot;


    [His childhood dream was to be a chef. When he was young anyways. Just for a little while.]


    &quot;Looks like he definitely would have been great at it!&quot;


    [If you say that in front of my mother, she will throw you out.]


    &quot;What, why?&quot;


    [Our mother believes that her children have to continue thepany¡¯s legacy. She may be lenient on other aspects of life but on this, she won¡¯t back down. So JiHan got rid of those thoughts a long time ago.]


    &quot;Oh...is that why? That must be why he ran away when Iplimented his cooking. I thought he just didn¡¯t like meplimenting him.&quot;


    [You didn¡¯t kiss up to him too obviously did you?]


    &quot;I wasn¡¯t kissing up, that was real. I was afraid he would think that also so I tried to tone it down but it¡¯s not easy for me. His food makes you lose your mind a little. It¡¯s so good that my mouth blurts outpliments before my brain can stop it.&quot; Giving up his dream to be a chef because of his family fortune. He must have run away because my reactions reminded him of that time. My darn mouth. Why can¡¯t you just stay quiet!


    I chewed my bottom lip hard to teach it a lesson. The taxi arrived at its destination on college street. I checked to see if it was the ce I recognized and told the driver to let me off here.


    I took out my card from my wallet and handed it to him. The card transaction ended quickly.


    [You said you were going to meet up with your theatre friends? Who are you meeting?]


    &quot;HeeKyung, JinShil...&quot;


    As I collected my card and answered JiKyung¡¯s question, I frowned as a sudden realization hit me.


    &quot;You¡¯re asking me this to see if DaeChul sunbae ising, aren¡¯t you?&quot; I asked intuitively while leaving the taxi. &quot;You¡¯re wondering if sunbae will being out or not.&quot;


    [Well obviously.] JiKyung replied calmly as if saying there was nothing to hide.


    &quot;Hey, do you take me for an idiot? You think I¡¯m going to give the ex boyfriend of my future husband a wedding invitation?&quot;


    Lim DaeChul. My theatre¡¯s senior alumnus and JiKyung¡¯s ex boyfriend. Thinking of him made my blood boil.


    &quot;You have such low standards. What did you like about that pathetic con artist?&quot;


    Lim DaeChul was the reason I was able to make contact with Lee JiKyung after ten years. If JiKyung had note to the theatre show to see that guy, we would probably have never met. I ended up seeing their public disys of affection. Remembering my friend of 10 years and my theatre senior secretly fooling around made me shudder.


    I want to buy eyes that did not see that, for real.


    [You¡¯re thinking about that time again aren¡¯t you?]


    &quot;Which time? The theatre bathroom, backstage, midnight practice room, or college bar rooftop? Which one?&quot;


    [You sure saw a lot.]


    I hadter confessed to JiKyung the fact that I knew about their rtionship. As a favor, I requested that they please check their surroundings before doing all that stuff. Especially to make sure I was not there. The Lee JiKyung back then had asked me to keep their rtionship under wraps, fearful it would make DaeChul ufortable. He asked me to keep my knowledge of them a secret even from DaeChul sunbae.


    Of course I kept his secret, so DaeChul sunbae still doesn¡¯t know that I ever knew about their rtionship. I haven¡¯t told anyone in the world about it, but that was only for my innocent friend Lee JiKyung. It was not for Lim DaeChul. Ah, that annoying con artist.


    &quot;Anyways don¡¯t worry, that sunbae hasn¡¯t been to the theatre for a long time, and all the theatre people have lost contact with him. I will not have to give him our wedding invitation and he will not show up at our wedding, never!&quot;


    After assuring JiKyung, we hung up and I went into the cafe where I had promised to meet my theatre friends. At the cafe entrance stood an unexpected figure.


    &quot;Wha... What are you doing here?&quot; I asked Lee JiHan, surprised at his presence.


    He was standing at the entrance with his arms crossed, as if he had been waiting for me.


    &quot;There is a saying that if you look at a person¡¯s friends, you can tell how that person really is.&quot; JiHan said to a flustered me.


    &quot;So?&quot;


    &quot;So I came to see your friends.&quot;


    &quot;Then...you should have told me when I left!&quot;


    &quot;Why? So you can tell your friends what to say? I came here without telling you on purpose.&quot;


    No wonder he asked me about the details of the meeting ce.


    &quot;Well...if you must...&quot; I said, displeased. Lee JiHan walked past me, opened the door, and stepped inside the cafe.


    ***


    I handed out my wedding invitations to the three friends sitting opposite me. Nervous, I kept stealing nces at Lee JiHan who sat next to me. As always, Lee JiHan sat with his mouth tightly closed and watched us. He was civil, even at my introduction of him as my future brother-inw, so I assumed he would just sit there and watch us quietly for the rest of the night.


    If that¡¯s the case, I would be so grateful. I stole nces at Lee JiHan from time to time.


    &quot;AhJung, your fiance is the guy that came to the theatre a long time ago, right?&quot; JiSun opened up the dialogue from across the table and HeeKyung joined in.


    &quot;That¡¯s right! He was friends with DaeChul sunbae and was d to see you when he visited. Didn¡¯t you say it had been a long time since your reunion?&quot;


    &quot;So you started dating at that time?&quot; my other friend piped up.


    Because the 3 girls sitting opposite me took turns shooting questions, I started to feel frazzled.


    &quot;Not, not since then. Well...we were just continuing to keep in touch...&quot; I began.


    &quot;Wow, then you are getting married thanks to DaeChul sunbae?&quot;


    &quot;Oh yea. That sunbae is your matchmaker. I guess even that kind of scum can help another being out. Go figure.&quot;


    &quot; If it wasn¡¯t for that sunbae, how could you have possibly met such a husband?&quot;


    Iughed awkwardly at the three women¡¯s words.


    At that moment, unexpectedly, Lee JiHan spoke up. &quot;I¡¯m curious about that DaeChul sunbae.&quot; Lee JiHan pounded the table with his fist. Then he turned his head, locked eyes with me and said, &quot;I really hope to meet him someday.&quot;


    I could feel his negative energy emanating from his chilling eyes.


    &quot;If it wasn¡¯t for that guy....&quot; To cover Lee JiHan¡¯s voice, I hurriedly changed the subject.


    &quot;Uh, but JiKyung broke up...I mean doesn¡¯t like that sunbae so he doesn¡¯t want him to know about us getting married.&quot;


    I had almost made a mistake because I was so flustered. Luckily, the three girls and Lee JiHan alike hadn¡¯t paid attention to the slip up. I mean, who would suspect that the future groom whose name is stamped on a wedding invitation would be gay?


    &quot;Don¡¯t worry about that. Even if you told us to tell him, we don¡¯t want to contact him.&quot; At HeeKyung¡¯s words, I was able to rx. I already knew this about them, but to hear it an additional time gave me a sense of relief.


    I had forgotten that nothing in my life worked out that easily.


    &quot;Hey! Who do we have here?&quot; I turned around at the voice from behind. And there he was, Lim DaeChul. &quot;Isn¡¯t it our blue theatre members?&quot;


    Lim DaeChul approached us with a smiling face and his arms spread wide.


    &quot;Sun.. Sunbae, I thought you went to Ennd.....&quot; I muttered.


    &quot;I¡¯m back for a little while. What a coincidence meeting you all here! What an interesting turn of events.&quot; Lim DaeChul wrapped his thick arms around my shoulders. &quot;What are the chances!&quot;


    Why of all ces would we meet him here. Why! In front of him! I broke into a sweat and stole nces at Lee JiHan. Lee JiHan suspiciously red at Lim DaeChul¡¯s hand on my shoulder. I quickly pushed Lim DaeChul off and spoke as if nothing was wrong.


    &quot;Ah, This is Lim DaeChul. Our theatre sunbae....


    &quot;Well, hello? I¡¯m Lim DaeChul.&quot; Lim DaeChul greeted Lee JiHan with a bow. Then he questioned me. &quot;But, who is this?&quot;


    &quot;Ah, he¡¯s...just someone I know.&quot;


    &quot;Just someone you know?&quot; Lee JiHan interrupted, thinking something was off. I desperately pleaded with my eyes and begged him to not get involved.


    &quot;I haven¡¯t known you for that long. I¡¯ve known you about a month? So you don¡¯t really have to greet each other.&quot;


    Lee JiHan rolled his eyes in disbelief.


    &quot;It was nice to see you, sunbae. But I¡¯m a bit busy right now. I have to leave right away. Um, it was nice to see you, good, good bye then.&quot;


    &quot;What¡¯s up with you?&quot; Lee JiHan asked, ring at me.


    &quot;Oh,e on! Juste out!&quot; Feeling rushed, I pped at Lee JiHan¡¯s arm. He gave me a ¡®fierce look and stared me down.


    Then, Lim DaeChul¡¯s voice rang out. &quot;Hey, isn¡¯t this a wedding invitation? Who¡¯s getting married?&quot;


    Turning my head, I saw Lim DaeChul¡¯s hands reach for the wedding invitation in front of HeeKyung.


    &quot;Ah!&quot; I quickly threw myself and grabbed the wedding invitation first.


    While I was at it, I collected the other 2 invitations and hid them behind my back. Lim DaeChul looked at me incredulously.


    &quot;What the... Na AhJung, what¡¯s wrong with you?&quot;


    &quot;Uh, the wedding, wedding invitation came out wrong. I have to re, reprint it. I¡¯ll give it to you next time you guys.&quot; I barely got the words out through my panic.


    Frazzled, I waved at my three friends, and pulled at Lee JiHan¡¯s arm. But Lee JiHan didn¡¯t get up.


    &quot;Really, why are you acting like this?&quot; he red.


    &quot;Let¡¯s go! We need to leave! Come on let¡¯s go?!&quot; In a state of panic, I pinched his side.


    &quot;Ow!&quot; Lee JiHan crinkled his face and stood up. Not missing my chance, I grabbed his arm and headed for the door.

 Chapter 11

    <h4>Chapter 11</h4>


    Only after we grabbed a taxi did I breathe a sigh of relief. My whole body was drenched in sweat, so I fanned my face with the wedding invitations.


    &quot;Are you insane? Why the hell are you acting like this?&quot; Lee JiHan frowned at me.


    &quot;I don¡¯t know, I, uh....I can¡¯t really think of what to say right now.&quot; I admitted.


    &quot;Don¡¯t tell me what you think, tell me the truth,&quot; Lee JiHan blurted out in anger.


    Ah...what do I do...


    Put in a difficult situation, I squeezed my eyes closed and increased the speed of my fanning.


    How can I exin this? What excuse should I give?


    After a lot of thought, I ced the wedding invitation on myp and took a deep breath. Let¡¯s just tell him what type of person Lim DaeChul is. I¡¯ll let him know how horrible a person he is and tell him I don¡¯t want to invite him to the wedding.


    Looking down at the invitation, I was strengthened my resolve and nodded my head. Suddenly, I got an inkling that something was off. Why...am I only holding two invitations? I¡¯m sure I had grabbed three from before... The sudden irksome intuition made me pull at my hair with my hands. No, no it can¡¯t be. I couldn¡¯t have left it there. I probably just dro...dropped it. I had to have. Please!


    Not just desperate but mortified, I took out my cell phone. With shaking hands I called HeeKyung.


    &quot;Uh, HeeKyung, I think I dropped one of the invitations before I left, did you perhaps see it?&quot;


    [I did see it. It had fallen on the cafe floor.]


    &quot;What?! Really?&quot;


    [Yea. DaeChul sunbae picked it up...]


    &quot;He picked it up and threw it away right? He didn¡¯t look inside and just threw it away right?&quot;


    [No. He read the inside...]


    &quot;No!&quot; I uttered a throat wrenching scream that was so loud the taxi driver almost stopped the car.


    ***


    Upon returning home, Iy sprawled on the living room floor, my mind a blurry mess.


    [DaeChul sunbae saw the invitation and said he had something to say to you and to please give him a call.]


    HeeKyung¡¯s words spun continuously through my head, and I couldn¡¯t register anything that Lee JiHan was saying.


    Something to tell me? Tell me what? Why? No, why? If I¡¯m marrying Lee JiKyung, why does he have something to say to me? With my chest resting on the neatly folded nket, I chewed the fingernail off my thumb. Suddenly, Lee JiHan pulled the nket hard away from me and yelled.


    &quot;Do my words not sound like words to you?!&quot;


    My body rolled. &quot;Oof!&quot;


    Thanks to him, I woke up from my trance and saw Lee JiHan in front of me.


    &quot;How many times are you going to ignore what I say! Am I a joke to you? No, is my family a joke to you?&quot;


    Staring at Lee JiHan¡¯s face, which looked as if he was about to eat me, I hung my head.


    &quot;No....&quot;


    &quot;What do you mean ¡®no¡¯! Look at the evidence!&quot;


    Lee JiHan shot up and lifted his shirt to show his side. The sudden removal of clothes shocked me and my eyes grew wide. He pointed at his side while shoving himself near me.


    &quot;Here, where you pinched me! Do you see how it¡¯s red?&quot;


    Lee JiHan was pointing at his side. I should look...but why do my eyes keep wandering to his abs. My eyes were glued to his milky skin and toned abs.


    &quot;Even after this are you going to say you don¡¯t think of me as a joke?&quot;


    &quot;Yes...no!&quot; Unable to take my eyes off his abs, I answered him in a trance.


    &quot;Then what do you see me as? Trivial?&quot;


    &quot;It¡¯s good to see you...it¡¯s nice to look at.&quot; It was an instinctive response.


    Only after I had said it did I realize what I had actually said. So although I regretted it, there was no way to take it back.


    &quot;What?&quot; Lee JiHan narrowed his eyes and pulled his shirt down.


    As a consequence, my mind which had been entranced by the abs came back into my head.


    &quot;You! I showed you so you will reflect on it but what? It¡¯s nice to look at? Are you saying it¡¯s a good thing I got hurt?&quot;


    &quot;What? Uh, of course not. It¡¯s just your side was so beautiful...I was surprised.&quot;


    &quot;You call that an excuse? Ugh, forget it. I¡¯m not letting you off the hook for this. I¡¯m going to tell my brother. You better prepare yourself.&quot;


    At Lee JiHan¡¯s warning I kneeled and hung my head.


    &quot;It¡¯s no use. I¡¯m going to tell him everything as it happened,&quot; he threatened.


    &quot;Do what you must. Of course you should. It was my fault,&quot; I said.


    I looked up forlornly at Lee JiHan. He stared back in confusion.


    &quot;It¡¯s just, I wanted to apologize for stepping over my boundaries and hurting you. I¡¯m sorry. You can tell everything to JiKyung. Even if I had 10 mouths I would have nothing to say.&quot; My humble attitude seemed to diffuse Lee JiHan¡¯s anger.


    &quot;Well, that is that. But what is up with you and that guy? Why were you making such a racket?&quot;


    &quot;That¡¯s...&quot;


    I looked down at my knees and quickly tried to think. Slowly, in defeat, I started telling him the story of the past.


    &quot;It was three years ago from today..&quot; I pulled the memory of three years ago from the back of my mind and told him the story.


    &quot;DaeChul sunbae was our director for the y, and the theatre people didn¡¯t like him. That goes for me too. He would burst out in anger, and he stole from the younger actors and took our membership fees. If anyone criticized him, he was so sensitive about it. He was an all around horrible person.&quot;


    Lost in my past memories, I stared out into space.


    &quot;Are you saying that the reason you hid the wedding invitation is for something as trivial as that? That¡¯s what warranted your craziness and violence? You could have just told him to note to the wedding. What¨C&quot;


    &quot;That is only where it starts,&quot; I interrupted. &quot;DaeChul sunbae¡¯s scum habits became worse after he broke up with his boy...no, I mean his significant other.&quot;


    &quot;He was able to have a lover with that personality. That¡¯s a surprise,&quot; Lee JiHan scoffed.


    The fact that his lover was your brother will probably be more of a surprise.


    Unable to say those words, I swallowed them, and continued the story, only revealing the parts that I could voice.


    &quot;One day, he told the theatre people that we all needed to go on a trip together. No one really wanted to go, but theatre groups are like that, you do what you are told. Direction is really important in a y. This trip was not only to help us for the show, but was also a way of saying thank you for helping him cope with heartbreak, so DaeChul sunbae said he would pay for the whole trip. Everyone got in sunbae¡¯s car and we headed to GangWonDo pension.&quot;


    &quot;At least he knows some decency.&quot;


    &quot;You think so?&quot; I sported a bitter smile and looked at Lee JiHan¡¯s eyes as I asked him another question. &quot;Have you ever heard of a pyramid scheme?&quot;


    Lee JiHan remained silent.


    &quot;We were practically imprisoned at that GangWonDo pension for a week. Sunbae handed us all over to the pyramid scheme worker and left in his car.&quot;


    Reminiscing about that sad memory brought tears to my eyes.


    &quot;Each person had to pay $5000 for auction merchandise. They checked my wallet and bank ounts and when they couldn¡¯t find a speck of dust they made me take out a loan. Those gangsters!&quot;


    I


    became so disheartened that I dabbed at my tears with my sleeves.


    &quot;Oh, thinking of the past is bringing tears to my eyes,&quot; I said apologetically.


    &quot;That kind of scum is my brother¡¯s friend?&quot; Lee JiHan asked with an expression of disbelief.


    &quot;He isn¡¯t now,&quot; I assured him.


    He wasn¡¯t back then either. Friend shmiend. He was his lover, your brother¡¯s lover. I muttered the word I was unable to say out loud under my breath.


    &quot;Of course, my brother would never still be friends with that kind of person.&quot; Looking at Lee JiHan¡¯s confident face made me smile sadly.


    &quot;Anyways, after that happened, sunbae moved to Ennd. I wonder how much he got for selling us off.&quot;


    &quot;Wait. You mean even after he did that he can greet your theatre people like he did today?&quot; Lee JiHan asked in disbelief.


    &quot;That¡¯s the type of person he is.&quot;


    Your brother¡¯s ex boyfriend is.


    &quot;So neither I nor JiKyung ever want to see him, but if that sunbae finds out about our wedding I am sure about one thing: your brother will be put in a bad predicament. JiKyung is such a nice person, he¡¯s not able to just cut his ties! And that¡¯s why I¡¯m trying to cut it on my end, so I had to act that way back there.&quot;


    That¡¯s how I wrapped up my story. None of if was a lie, I retold it exactly the way it had happened. Except for the fact that I excluded some parts. But the words I said were all the truth. Lee JiHan must have been mulling over my words, because he continued to look down in silence. Then he opened his mouth.


    &quot;Well, if that¡¯s the case then I understand. But you putting your hands on me, and violently no less, I cannot forgive. I will definitely tell my brother about this.&quot;


    After the warning, he turned and left for his room. After oveing that hurdle, I sighed in relief and sprawled on the ground. What did Lim DaeChul want to talk to me about?


    I was anxious and couldn¡¯t get rid of the irksome feeling. I started to chew my fingernails again.


    At that moment, I heard Lee JiHan talking to his brother, tattling about me and what had happened today. Well, now JiKyung will know I met Lim DaeChul.


    As of now, let¡¯s wait for JiKyung¡¯s phone call. Until then there¡¯s no point in fretting over it. Let¡¯s just think good thoughts. Good thoughts...a very very bright and energizing good thought...


    Ah...his side...and below...


    I had forced my head to think of something good, and for some reason I ended up reminiscing about Lee JiHan¡¯s milky abs.


    Why is that...Why?


    Because you like it...because it¡¯s something to like.


    Without my knowledge, my spirits were lifted and with my eyes half closed I muttered nkly.


    JiKyung messaged me, Lim Daechul had sent him an email.


    &quot;Is it true that you really love Na AhJung, does Na AhJung know you are gay?&quot;


    With those questions, Lim DaeChul said he disapproved of the wedding and begged to meet him again.


    JiKyung told him that he really hade to love me and that I didn¡¯t know that he was gay. So for good times sake, he asked that Lim DaeChul congratte us.


    JiKyung didn¡¯t know how Lim DaeChul would react to such a response. In this situation, the only thing I could do was to just pray that nothing would happen. Even knowing there was nothing I could do, my mind went into overdrive thinking of all the possible worst case scenarios. I knew this would only make me nervous and ufortable but I couldn¡¯t help it. This is why people tell me I worry too much. I¡¯m such a worry wart.


    &quot;Phew....&quot; I wiped between each tile diligently but stopped to heave a big sigh.


    It¡¯s probably better that Lee JiHan gave me something to do. When my body was at rest, my mind was actively bothering me, although my relief probably wasn¡¯t a result that Lee JiHan had intended. I heard the sound of Lee JiHan¡¯s whistle ring through my ears. I stopped what I was doing immediately and ran outside.


    &quot;Yes, I¡¯ming!&quot;


    Lee JiHan was standing by the oven. The moment I arrived, he said in a tone ripe with discontent.


    &quot;Are you still cleaning he tiles?&quot;


    &quot;Yes, there¡¯s not much left now,&quot; I said.


    &quot;Can¡¯t you do anything more efficiently? In five minutes this dish wille out of the oven. Do you think you can finish by that time at this speed?&quot;


    If I waste, I was afraid it would push back Lee JiHan¡¯s dining time so I suggested that he could eat without me, but Lee JiHan frowned.


    &quot;This dish¡¯s main attraction is the melting of the carefullyyered three cheeses. If it cools down for even a minute, the taste will bepromised.&quot;


    He had a weird stubbornness when it came to his food.


    &quot;So from now you have exactly five minutes. Finish your cleaning within that time. Go!&quot;


    Like an army private, I heeded themand and ran to the bathroom.

 Chapter 12

    <h4>Chapter 12</h4>


    Ultimately I was able to finish in the five minutes and was now sitting across from Lee JiHan to eat dinner. Even though there were plentiful dishes awaiting me on the table, I wasn¡¯t very hungry due to the anxiety brought on by Lim DaeChul. I poked un-appetizingly at the cheesesagna eating only the tiniest of pieces.


    ¡°What is this? Are you on strike or something?¡±


    I lifted my head at Lee Johan¡¯s sharp criticism.


    ¡°No. It¡¯s just I don¡¯t have much of an appetite.¡±


    ¡°If you are going to eat like that then don¡¯t bother. It¡¯s disrespectful to the person who made it.¡±


    ¡°Okay...¡± I put down my spoon, drained of all energy and got up from my seat.


    Lee JiHan red at me in disbelief. ¡°Where are you going while in the middle of eating?¡±


    ¡°You said if I¡¯m going to pick at the food then to not eat.¡±


    ¡°No, I meant stop picking at it and eat it like you mean it. That¡¯s the only way you can rate it.¡±


    ¡°Rate it?¡± I asked, not sure of what he meant.


    ¡°That thing you always do. It tastes like this and that,¡± he exined.


    ¡°Oh...but I really don¡¯t have an appetite today,¡± I said apologetically.


    ¡°You have no appetite because you are picking at it. This dish has three types of cheeses that you must taste together, you have to scoop out a bite in its entirety. After you try it like that, you can check if you do or do not have an appetite. This will drag back your lost appetite by the hair.¡±


    ¡°....I know.¡± Unable to beat his retort, I sat my butt back down. And I scooped up a hearty bite ofsagna. ¡°It¡¯s delicious.....¡±I forced myself to nod.


    It was definitely delicious. It was really good. I just couldn¡¯t think of anything else to say because my head was too full of other thoughts. At this, Lee JiHan mmed down his fork.


    ¡°Are you like this because you got in trouble from my brother? You¡¯re doing this because I upset you?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Are you upset at me for telling my brother what happened? Is this your idea of revenge?¡±


    Revenge? How does this even constitute as revenge? Not eating because I don¡¯t have an appetite is revenge? What is he, my stomach?


    He was nagging at me about the stupidest things.


    ¡°It¡¯s not like that. It¡¯s just because I feel kind of down. If I felt better, I wouldn¡¯t be like this. It¡¯s just how I feel...¡±


    ¡°Well feel better then.¡± Lee JiHanmanded me.


    ¡°What?¡± I thought I¡¯d misheard him, but Lee JiHan answered in all seriousness.


    ¡°Whether it¡¯s because you got in trouble from my brother, or if it¡¯s because you met that man, just feel better.¡±


    ¡°Are you actually...worrying about me?¡± I asked in awe, but Lee JiHan t out denied it.


    ¡°I am worried about the cooling cheese. Before it gets any colder, hurry up and feel better so you can review it.¡±


    What¡¯s so important about me reviewing his cooking. Why is he so obsessed with it?


    Unable to understand it at all, I opened my eyes wide and stared at Lee JiHan.


    ¡°What do I have to do to immediately feel better?¡±


    ¡°What?¡± he looked back at me, confused.


    ¡°What, are you going to give me a day off?¡±


    ¡°A day off? I¡¯ll give you a day off tomorrow if you feel better now and eat well.¡±


    ¡°Really? Then you won¡¯t blow your whistle at all tomorrow?¡± I asked, blinking excitedly.


    ¡°We¡¯ll do that. If you eat well now, tomorrow will be a day without the whistle. I will release you.¡± Lee JiHan showed me the whistle hung around his neck and promised.


    Seeing that, I swallowed hard. For a month, I had been miserable because of that whistle, even hearing it in my dreams. To be granted just one day without the incessant noise would be heaven. As if a fish bone stuck in my throat was being washed down, I felt relieved.


    ¡°Hurry and eat it before it cools down.¡± Lee JiHan insisted.


    I immediately scooped up the cheesesagna with my fork and put a hearty bite into my mouth. Just the thought of escape erased the nervous thoughts of Lim DaeChul out of my mind and no longer affected my appetite. With the return of my appetite, I chewed the three types of cheese, and my hardened brain broke free so that thepliments were able to spill out of my lips like a waterfall. Lee JiHan sat next to me with his mouth shut and watched me with unmoving eyes. As always, after a few moments, he ran out of the room.


    ***


    Lee JiHan


    The whistle-less day had arrived. Na AhJung was sleeping on the living room floor, sprawled out like a sloth. This was a very different picture from the state of high alert she had been in for thest month.


    Yep. This is the girl¡¯s real identity. In reality, she was just azy girl putting up an act for my benefit. When I saw Na AhJung like that, I tsked tsked. Today, like every other day, I looked down at Na AhJung¡¯s arm. I fed her so much! Howe she didn¡¯t gain any weight? If I am to get the rose colored sses off of my brother, I have to make this girl gain weight. I need to make my menu more fattening.


    Like the witch from Hansel and Gretel who was fattening the children to eat them, I was dreaming up a menu to fatten Na AhJung. After deciding on the breakfast menu, I put the whistle in my mouth. I suddenly remembered my promise to her, and removed the whistle from my mouth.


    Oh, today is a day without the whistle.


    A promise is a promise.I put the whistle in my pocket. It was easier when I didn¡¯t have to say a word and just blow the whistle to make her wake up. Today was going to be a bit bothersome. I coughed and woke her up with my voice.


    ¡°Are you really sleeping right now?¡± To keep my gentlemanlike calm, I spoke serenely, but Na AhJung didn¡¯t even flinch. So with no other choice, I shouted. ¡°Are you really sleeping right now?!¡±


    Na AhJung bolted upright, still unable to open her eyes. With her eyes still closed, she looked around.


    ¡°Open your eyes and get up immediately,¡± Imanded.


    ¡°Huh? What? Ah, Yes!¡± Na AhJung stood up without knowing the reason and rubbed her eyes. With her eyes finally open, she looked at me and blinked.


    ¡°Today...is my day off, isn¡¯t it?¡± Na AhJung asked me with a perplexed look.


    ¡°That¡¯s correct. Your day off. I said I was giving you a day off, but that doesn¡¯t mean it¡¯s my day off,¡± I exined.


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Today, you don¡¯t have to do what you usually do. However, my judgement of you will still continue. As always. With the same intensity. I¡¯m still going to keep score on you. I¡¯m not going to give you any chores today. Do as you please on your day off.¡±


    ¡°What, what kind of day off is that?¡± she asked.


    ¡°What, did you think we would hold hands and go y or something?¡± Was she kidding?


    ¡°Ugh. I have never thought anything like that?!¡± she said, as if the very thought disgusted her.


    Na AhJung jumped up and down in denial. It was strangely unpleasant and my eyes naturally narrowed.


    ¡°Is us going on a trip such a horrible thing to you? To you? You have to realize how horrible it would be for me!¡± I eximed.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Me going on a trip with you, even if you beg me to, it is one miracle that will never happen, so don¡¯t even get upset about it!¡± At my criticism, Na AhJung sported a nk look, and soon nodded.


    ¡°It¡¯s not that it offends me. I...How could I possibly even dream that? Trust me, I was only proving my innocence in ever thinking of such a thing. I was not offended by it at all! If that kind of miracle happened, it would be the best surprise ever. If there was a day that happened, I would write about it in my diary. I would mark it as an anniversary and every year remember it. How could you forget a dream? That kind of day?¡± Na AhJung, now fully awake, responded with bright eyes.


    She sure could talk. I wanted to keep hearing it.


    ¡°Anyways. I¡¯m going to make breakfast,¡± I said. ¡°Go wash up and get ready to eat. If the food is ready and you¡¯re not waiting here, I will be displeased. You know that right?¡±


    ¡°Of course I know. I will be back before the meal gets cold,¡± Na AhJung responded, then ran to the bathroom.


    ***


    Maybe she¡¯d had a dream about a long journey or something, because Na AhJung devoured the french toast like a starving animal. Even with a small mouth, like a squirrel, the space behind her lips was enormous. Na AhJung ate the entire piece of toast the size of a hand and stuffed it all into her mouth, chewing with all the muscles in her face.


    I handed her the milk and scolded her. ¡°You¡¯re supposed to drink this while you eat. If you eat everything at once, it might taste greasy.¡±


    Na AhJung quickly nodded and inhaled the milk. Then Nshe bounced her feet and eximed,


    ¡°Mmm! Mister, what was this called again?¡±


    ¡°French Toast.¡±


    ¡°No, it can¡¯t be? This must be Swiss toast or Florence toast, because the french toast I¡¯ve eaten never tasted like this. It melts on my tongue!¡±


    This girl is just sprinkling sugar onto my ears.


    I puffed up my chest in pride but pretended to think nothing of it.


    ¡°What are you nning to do today?¡± I asked.


    ¡°I want to go outside,¡± Na AhJung answered, stabbing another piece of french toast onto her fork.


    She seemed to be ecstatic at the mere thought of going outside. Well, going outside without me means she can avoid my evaluation of her. Then she will really enjoy her day off.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go together,¡± I suggested.


    Na AhJung dropped her fork. ¡°What, why?¡±


    ¡°I want to know how you utilize your free time, and rate you on it.¡±


    Na Ahjung¡¯s face fell, as if the world had crumbled around her. It didn¡¯t matter, I¡¯d already got my share of positive feedback on my cooking.


    ***


    After leaving the house, Na AhJung headed for therge bookstore. Upon entering the bookstore, she stood at the register. She turned and smiled at me like an info desk person and spoke softly, ¡°Whenever I have time, I visit the bookstore. My hobby is reading.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s obvious to me that this hobby was just fabricated as a show just now.¡±


    ¡°Oh my, it isn¡¯t so. I adore books,¡± she insisted.


    As if to prove a point, Na AhJung lifted a book off the shelf and opened it. Acting like an intellectual, she gazed at its pages in a contemtive manner.


    ¡°Do you live in the living room at home?¡± I asked.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Last time I went to your house, you were sleeping in the living room. I¡¯m asking if the living room is your bedroom.¡±


    ¡°Ah, yes. But why do you ask that all of a sudden?¡±


    ¡°For someone who likes books that much, it doesn¡¯t really make sense that there is not a single book in your room. I mean, it looked like you didn¡¯t even have a desk? And you¡¯re still going to tell me your hobby is reading?¡±


    Na AhJung flinched at my observant telling. But sheughed and responded.


    ¡°Oh, when did I say I read at home? I read at the bookstore like this and return home with a full mind and heart.¡±


    ¡°What? They say in every book there is a teacher, and I guess for you, you treat your teachers like this! How do you sleep at night knowing that you stole from these teachers without payment for their gift to you? Look, when you enjoy someone else¡¯s creative art, you need to give it the proper respect. You have no shame.¡± I scolded.


    Na AhJung slowly put down the book and hung her head. ¡°I am embarrassed by my past self.¡±


    ¡°Books are meant to be bought and read at home.¡±


    ¡°I understand. Starting today, I will do that.¡±


    Na AhJung nodded her head forlornly and picked up a book. With a sad expression on her face, she went to the register. Why is that sad look so ufortable for me to watch? Have I gotten used to the excitement I came to expect while she sat eating my three meals a day? A bit bothered by the situation, I followed Na AhJung with a strange feeling bubbling in my gut.

 Chapter 13

    <h4>Chapter 13</h4>


    Na AhJung stepped out of the book store with a depressed look and opened the newly bought book while sitting on a bench.


    ¡°What are you doing? Why are you sitting here like this?¡± I asked.


    ¡°I bought this book fair and square so I am going to confidently read it. Reading really is my hobby,¡± she said in a glum voice.


    ¡°If you¡¯re going to, then you should be reading it with your head held high, how is this posture that of a confident person? You look like a deted balloon.¡±


    This girl sitting here with no life was poking at my conscience. At my criticism, Na AhJung straightened up her back and widened her shoulders, but her expression still held the shadow of defeat.


    ¡°Can you lighten up?¡± I asked.


    ¡°It¡¯s ¡®cuz the book is sad,¡± she replied.


    ¡°How in the world could a cookbook be sad?¡±


    ¡°...to be this chicken soup, this chicken had to sacrifice itself. A chicken had to die to make this chicken soup...¡± Na AhJung read aloud.


    She stared at the book¡¯s contents with glistening, tear stained eyes as if she was reading some sappy novel. I followed Na AhJung¡¯s gaze and spotted the picture of the chicken soup and was so taken aback by the ridiculousness of the situation that I scoffed.


    This looks sad? She¡¯s pulling my leg. Why can¡¯t she just tell me she¡¯s sad because I scolded her? How is this the face of someone who is sad because a chicken died? This is the face of someone deted because they got in trouble.


    I couldn¡¯t stand it any longer so I grabbed her arm and raised her up.


    ¡°What, why?¡± she protested.


    ¡°If you¡¯re going to read the book, stop brooding and go to a caf¨¦ or somewhere.¡±


    ¡°Caf¨¦? Caf¨¦s costs money. If I spend money on coffee just to read a book you¡¯re going to say I¡¯m wasteful anyways.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s because I want to go, me!¡± I insisted.


    I believed the only way to make that expression go away was to feed her something tasty, so I dragged Na AhJung to a nearby coffee house.


    ***


    Na AhJung


    I was afraid that Lee JiHan would follow me throughout my entire day off just to bother me. As always, whatever I did, it was obvious that he would find something to reprimand me on. If that was going to be the case, I decided it would be better to just do nothing to lessen the risk. So, I sat on the bench with a book just waiting for time to pass. Lee JiHan wouldn¡¯t even let me have that, and instead dragged me to a caf¨¦ for some unknown reason. I sat at the table while he went to order desserts and drinks of his own choosing.


    Lee JiHan returned to the table with a tray full of sweets. On the tray was a just baked apple pie with ice cream on top and two drinks. Between the two drinks, I grabbed the strawberry shake that was topped with arge amount of whipped cream.


    ¡°The apple pie here is famous. Eat it while it¡¯s hot,¡± Lee JiHan said.


    Is it so hot I will burn my tongue? He wouldn¡¯t be doing this just so I would burn my tongue, would he? Suspiciously, I took a small spoonful of the ice cream and apple pie. After an excess amount of blowing to cool it down, I carefully put it in my mouth.


    ¡°Oh! It¡¯s so good!¡± IIn response to my sudden outburst, Lee JiHan crossed his arms.


    ¡°Of course. Who¡¯s the one who rmended it.¡± Lee JiHan sucked on his straw with a look of content.


    ¡°For real! This pie beats today¡¯s french toast!


    I pped jovially whileplimenting Lee JiHan¡¯s menu rmendation, but at that moment, the strawberry shake in Lee JiHan¡¯s hand slipped.


    ¡°You, are youparing my french toast with this apple pie?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    Lee JiHan¡¯s facial expression changed scarily fast. ¡°It hasn¡¯t even been that long since you ate my french toast. Aren¡¯t you sorry to the french toast that is probably still sitting in your stomach?¡±


    ¡°Ah, no. I...I mean this taste is asparable to...¡±


    ¡°Comparable to? Comparable? Are you saying my french toast is merely at this level?¡±


    He¡¯s the one that rmended this apple pie because it was supposedly famous. Lee JiHan was acting as if he never mentioned such a thing. How could he say this amazingly delicious apple pie is merely anything? How amazing does he think his french toast is? I wanted to ask him, but was afraid of his wrath and shook my head.


    ¡°Wow, and here I thought you wereplimenting my skills when in actuality you wouldpliment anything that is shoved into your mouth.¡± Lee JiHan mumbled to himself in shock.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s nothing like that. For me, this isn¡¯t like extremely delicious or anything. But you rmended it, so I was reacting this way as a courtesy. A courtesy!¡±


    ¡°So you decided to maintain courtesy by saying this beat my french toast?


    ¡°I made a mistake,¡± I mumbled. ¡°I wasn¡¯t thinking...¡±


    Me and my big mouth. Damn, why did I have to go and say that. I pped at my mouth in regret, but at that point it was toote. Lee JiHan stomped away. He exited straight out of the caf¨¦ and I was forced to run after him


    ***


    This day off felt more like parole than a vacation. I had been forced to follow around Lee JiHan, gaining nothing but one measly apple pie that supposedly was no threat to the french toast I ate this morning.


    ¡°You see, I¡¯ve never tasted your version of an apple pie. If I had tasted it, I would have had no feeling whatsoever about that ce¡¯s apple pie!¡±


    His anger seemed to subside a little, but Lee JiHan raised his hand and stopped me.


    ¡°Forget it. Let¡¯s stop talking about the stupid apple pie. People will think I¡¯m being jealous over it or something. I don¡¯t need it so you can do whatever you want.¡±


    Finally, I felt relieved and I released the stress from my body. It wasn¡¯t an exaggeration but my body and mind were both burnt out. I didn¡¯t want to do anything and it didn¡¯t matter where, I just wanted to lie down and do nothing in peace. If I had the choice, it would also be a ce where Lee JiHan¡¯s criticism didn¡¯t exist and I wouldn¡¯t have to watch what I say or do. Where would I have to go to find that kind of resting ce? Right now, my every move was being observed, and my every word was being judged. Unless I was able to cover Lee JiHan¡¯s eyes and close his mouth, there wasn¡¯t a single ce that would allow me to enjoy the rest of my day in peace. This depressing thought made me shake my head in despair. Then, I saw it in front of me arge movie theatre. Seeing that gave me a great idea.


    ***


    Inside the dark theatre, I sat down holding my popcorn and soda. I was able to extend my legs out, and I sighed euphorically. Even though Lee JiHan was sitting next to me, I was able to ept the situation without much anxiety. In this dark space, I wasn¡¯t afraid of Lee JiHan¡¯s eyes, and in a ce where we had to remain quiet, I needn¡¯t be scared of Lee JiHan¡¯s mouth. Now when the movie starts, he won¡¯t be able to do anything to make me ufortable.


    Proud of myself for thinking up something like this, I looked up at the screen in confidence. Themercials ended and the movie began. I had chosen the movie based solely on how fast it started, without even considering the plot or the title. I wondered what kind of movie it would be and threw a piece of popcorn in my mouth.


    The movie was... the story of a girl who lived with her husband¡¯s younger brother while the husband was away on a business trip.


    I got a weird feeling about it, but the brother was a 19 year old high-schooler in a uniform, so I shook it off.


    The husband¡¯s parents passed away unexpectedly, and the bride and her husband were put into a situation where they had to raise the younger brother as their own. I assumed this would be a feel good family film teaching the importance of family. It was such a drastic parallel to the brother sitting next to me that I felt for the young, uniform d brother in the movie. I soon realized this was not the feel good family movie I had anticipated and instead, was a passion filled erotic movie!


    The younger brother was not only wearing no uniform, but he was not wearing anything at all! He approached his older brother¡¯s wife and embraced her.


    [Young master, don¡¯t do this.]


    Yea, don¡¯t do that! Please don¡¯t do that! Your sister-inw says to stop!


    I frowned and red at the screen. The man in the screen held the woman¡¯s two wrists together and asked in desperation,


    [If I had met you first...not my brother, but me. If I had met you first...would you still push me away?]


    Say you will! Tell him he¡¯s the worst! Tell him to shut up and get out of your face!


    I waited for the wife¡¯s answer. I gulped at my drink to quench the sudden dryness of my throat. I held the c in my mouth instead of swallowing it. Contrary to my wish, the wife shed a single tear and held her head.


    [Then let¡¯s do what both our hearts desire. Only my brother need not know.]


    The wife nodded at the brother¡¯s plea. Then the brother embraced her tightly again and whispered in her ear.


    [I wish time would stop.]


    Damn, I wish you would stop!


    At that moment, my future brother-inw whispered in my ear, ¡°What¡¯s the reason you asked me to watch this movie with you?¡±


    It was a sentence said through clenched teeth. I wanted to exin that I did not know the story of the movie but I had too much c in my mouth to speak. In that moment, the man and woman on the screen started kissing passionately on top of the table. I was so surprised by that scene that I turned my head and without meaning to, spit out the c.


    ¡°Puah!¡± Unfortunately at Lee JiHan...¡±Ah, I¡¯m sorry!¡± I cried.


    ¡°This woman...!¡± Lee JiHan brushed off his shirt and said in an angry voice.


    I wasn¡¯t able to see properly, but I assumed that he was wet so I took the napkins I brought along from the store and reached for his chest to wipe it clean.


    ¡°What, what are you doing right now?¡± Lee JiHan grabbed my wrist and with a shocked expression looked to and fro from the screen to me.


    I too was able to see the screen and see what was happening. The wife was wiping at the chest of the brother with her hands.


    ¡°Ah, no, it¡¯s nothing like that. It¡¯s just, I was just wiping it off. I...I don¡¯t have that kind of intention!¡±


    I wanted to prove my innocence so I pushed the napkin at Lee JiHan¡¯s chest. But my fingertips brushed up against something hard on his chest.


    ¡°Where are you touching?!¡± Lee JiHan stood up in anger. The men in the back started to yell.


    ¡°Ah! Why are you blocking it!


    ¡°Move your head! Head!


    ¡°Get out of the way!¡±


    As if Lee JiHan¡¯s head had blocked some pivotal or important scene, the men¡¯s voices escted in greater annoyance.


    ¡°You wait until I get back from the bathroom.¡± Lee JiHan crouched down as to not disturb the other audience members and quickly shuffled out of his seat.


    Alone, this scenario made me just want to give up and die. Oblivious to my plight, the two lovers in the movie were entranced in ecstasy as if they couldn¡¯t live without the other. Damn, why is there no remote control in a movie theatre. Unable to press the pause button, I closed my eyes to turn off my screen.


    Then, ¡°ah, ah, creak creak.¡±


    Even without seeing it, the embarrassing sounds echoed around the room.


    Are these two doing that on the table? Why is it creaking! You people! Aren¡¯t you afraid of thew?! I put down the popcorn and soda and covered my ears with both hands. With my eyes and ears closed, I rejected this nightmare by reciting the Lord¡¯s Prayer. During this time I didn¡¯t have the mental strength left to check whether Lee JiHan had returned or not. When the movie ended and the lights came back on, I was shocked to see that Lee JiHan still had not returned. The seat next to me was empty.


    ***


    My mind was halfway gone as I exited the theatre, but I was faced with a dilemma. Should I look for Lee JiHan right away or try to enjoy the rest of my vacation without his presence? Of course, it didn¡¯t take long to make my decision. Even if a knife was held to my neck, I would have chosen thetter. Even so, my decision would hold severe consequences so I nced around in trepidation. Lee JiHan wouldn¡¯t be near here would he? He might be waiting in front of the theatre, so I won¡¯t go out that way. I¡¯ll just watch another movie in here! I covered my face with my bag and very carefully headed toward the ticket line. Since I wouldn¡¯t be watching it with Lee JiHan, I could rewatch the movie I had been too ufortable to watch before.


    ***


    Lee JiHan


    I sshed cold water on my face in the theatre bathroom but my face would not cool down. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and saw that even my ears were red. I ran out of the theatre, not wanting Na AhJung to see me like this. On the way home, the taxi sted the air conditioning so high it was freezing, but my face would not cool down.


    Disgraceful, how could she show me that kind of movie! How dare that hand touch my... In the midst of fuming, I clenched my teeth. It was so disgraceful, I could barely even think the words. That, that girl touched my nipple! A woman other than my mother dare touch there! No, my mother doesn¡¯t even! I quickly shed through my adolescent memories and was confident of my innocence in this area. No, I was sure of it. This part of my body which is as pure as a snow capped mountain is now tainted with that woman¡¯s imprint! In an attempt to erase her touch, I wiped away at the ce that Na AhJung¡¯s hand had touched. Howe I¡¯m touching the same ce but the feeling is different? It wasn¡¯t the electric feeling I had experienced previously, so I stopped. No, not feeling aroused by my own touch is not something strange. But that girl¡¯s touch made me feel something. That¡¯s weird! I didn¡¯t want to admit that electrifying moment, but even as the thought entered my mind, the taxi arrived in front of my brother¡¯s house.


    I paid the taxi fare and walked to the door. sitting in front of the door was a big box which had arrived before me.


    Is it a package? Wondering to myself, I looked down at the box. Instead of the name and address of the shipper, there was a note attached to it.


    [The person that should remember our happy moments is you.]


    What is this? I opened the package suspiciously. The box was as big as my body and in it was a photo album, a stack of letters, a stuffed doll, etc. I chose to look at the stack of letters more carefully. I opened one of them. The familiar penmanship caught my attention. This is my brother¡¯s handwriting... Notpletely sure, I read the contents of the letter. After reading it, I realized it was a hand-written love letter. I was also able to see with my own two eyes the recipient of the letter.


    Lim DaeChul?


    He has the same name as that guy we met yesterday. I suddenly got a sick feeling. It must just be a woman with the same name.


    I tried to wash off this negative feeling and took out the photo album.


    When I open the photo album, a girl named Lim DaeChul will be in here. It will be a girl that has nothing to do with that scum bag I met yesterday, she will be in here.


    I believed it to be true and prayed that I would not be disappointed. Then I opened the album. I checked the subjects of the picture, and it was like being struck by lightning, I screamed and cursed.


    ¡°F*ck!¡±

 Chapter 14

    <h4>Chapter 14</h4>


    Lee JiHan


    When I regained my sanity, what caught my eye was the sink full of ashes. I turned on the faucet and let the water wash them away, watching as the pictures and the letter I¡¯d burned disappeared down the drain. Now, all that was left was the teddy bear. It was not something that would burn easily, so I grabbed the scissors and a knife and ced the teddy bear on top of the cutting board. With the knife, I chopped off the arms and legs of the bear, then I cut up the separated pieces with the scissors until they were nothing but shreds. I lit the pieces on fire in the sink where they soon burned to ck. Watching the fire with clenched fists, I shook with rage.


    My brother is gay...my brother is gay?!


    Soon, the fire in front of me had faded, but the fire inside me was still burning hot. My anger would not subside. I washed away the burnt remains of the teddy bear and headed to the bedroom. The moment Iy on the bed, my head spun, and I felt nauseous. I was drenched all over in a cold sweat.


    My brother is gay...my brother...


    Unable to believe the truth, I shook my head. Suddenly, a seed of doubt nted itself in my mind. What about Na AhJung? And the marriage with Na AhJung, why is he going through with it? If my brother is gay, why is he so determined to get married to this girl? This thought gave me hope, and I stood back up. Is there a chance my brother changed his preference after meeting Na AhJung? Is Na AhJung¡¯s charisma powerful enough to change the mind of a gay man?


    ¡°Damn, there¡¯s no way that¡¯s true,¡± I said out loud. I lost the small shred of hope and fell back down defeated.


    Even though Na AhJung had gained two more points than when I had initially met her, she was still only a negative 197 point type of girl. There is no way that girl could do what God couldn¡¯t and flip someone¡¯s sexual preference. Pounding at my stifled heart, I sighed. I knew something was strange. Why would my brother marry a girl like that in the first ce? There had been no logical exnation.


    But the fact that my brother is gay....I¡¯d rather try to understand the marriage.


    My brother was not in love, he had just needed a bride to fit his needs, and that had been Na AhJung. She was the daughter of our mother¡¯s friend so he could easily get mother¡¯s approval, and he had been a long-time friend of hers also, so he could live with just the attachment of friendship. Plus, this girl won the lottery with this marriage so he wouldn¡¯t feel as guilty about it. My life¡¯s greatest mystery finally seemed to have found an answer, but it was not a reassuring one. Instead of being relieved, I felt more devastated.


    But if that is the case...if that is the case, does this marriage make sense? I remembered all the times that AhJung had shown me her desperate love for my brother. For my brother, she had kneeled in front of me and had done everything I had asked. This girl doesn¡¯t know anything...how can they continue with this scam wedding? JiKyung, are you this kind of person?


    My perfect brother. Gay, but pretending not to be. Not loving that girl but pretending he did. He had fooled me, our mother, and AhJung with this unimaginable secret. I moaned in grief as my world crumbled around me. Devastated, I closed my eyes and tried to empty my mind of this new-found knowledge. I wished I could erase it.


    A long whileter, from far away, I could hear the front door opening loudly. I heard hurried footsteps that could only be Na AhJung¡¯s and without any sense of wariness, opened my eyes slowly. Na AhJung ran directly to the bedroom and burst through the door.


    ¡°Did you...did you perhaps see a package? Was there one?¡± AhJung asked, huffing for air in the middle of the room.


    ¡°What package?¡± I replied ufortably.


    ¡°Uh...DaeChul sunbae said he left something...¡± Na AhJung looked around the room as she answered.


    ¡°Did that jerk say that? That he left something here? To go check it out?!¡± I shot up infuriated.


    So that package was left there so AhJung would see it? So that she would be shocked by it and cancel the wedding?! My head was about to explode like a volcano, but seeing Na AhJung¡¯s wide, fear-filled eyes made me shake my head in denial.


    ¡°No, JiKyung texted me. That he...DaeChul sunbae... left something in front of the house. But he said I was not supposed to open it.¡±


    Na AhJung¡¯s face looked as if she would follow whatever my brother requested of her.


    ¡°My brother...¡± I began, but my head fell weakly.


    ¡°Did you see it?¡±


    At Na AhJung¡¯s question, I shook my head. I wasn¡¯t sure what I was supposed to do.


    ¡°Oh! That¡¯s a relief. JiKyung said that DaeChul sunbae started some sort of business or whatever. He left the package there and told us to send him money. He¡¯s probably trying to scam us again. It¡¯s like a ¡®wee to you¡¯ type of pyramid scheme...¡± Na AhJung believed my brother without a shred of suspicion. ¡°So, if you see some package, don¡¯t open it! If you open it, we can¡¯t return it. If you do see the package, don¡¯t open it and give it to me. I will go return it.¡±


    She looked determined to do what my brother asked of her to the extent that she even persuaded me. Foolish girl. Burdened, I felt like I was being crushed by a ton of bricks. Iy back down moaning.


    ¡°Mister? Are you sick?¡± Na AhJung approached the bed, suspecting something was wrong. ¡°Your face...even your ears are red. Do you have a fever?¡±


    Na AhJung kneeled next to the bed and examined me. Unable to face her, I turned away.


    ¡°Get out,¡± I said.


    ¡°If you tell me how and where it hurts, I can get you some medicine,¡± insisted AhJung.


    ¡°You getting out of here is medicine.¡± Na AhJung¡¯s goodwill made me ufortable, so I coldly cut her off.


    ¡°Then...I¡¯ll leave. I¡¯ll prepare dinner, so get some rest, and if you need anything, you can call me. You can just blow the whistle if you want,¡± Na AhJung said carefully in a defeated voice.


    I squeezed my eyes shut and waited for Na AhJung to leave.


    ***


    Na AhJung


    I was just about to enter the movie theatre after buying a new ticket when JiKyung called me. That jerk Lim DaeChul had sent another email to him saying he left something in front of the house. Thanks to him, I couldn¡¯t even get a refund, and I ran like a maniac back to the house. Just my luck. I was hoping to see something good for once.


    ¡°I just wasted my money on the ticket,¡± I muttered as I threw away the ticket in the kitchen trash can. What¡¯s up with Lee JiHan though? How sick is he? I could tell he had a fever, but there was no way to find out what other symptoms he had. Did he get a cold all of a sudden? Well, I know for sure that he is sick, so I¡¯ll make him some porridge.


    First, I took out my phone and sent a message to JiKyung. Contrary to what his email had said, DaeChul sunbae hadn¡¯t left anything. I also asked JiKyung what porridge would be best to give the sick JiHan. A few momentster, JiKyung sent a reply.


    [Don¡¯t bother.]


    JiKyung¡¯s reply also included some hotel restaurant¡¯s contact and map.


    [JiHan likes this restaurant. Feed him the porridge from here. Abalone porridge will do.]


    Porridge is not even a fancy dish, but he goes all the way to a hotel to buy this simple thing? Don¡¯t you just boil water with rice? Vegetable porridge with vegetables, abalone porridge with abalone. I can make that much! And if a person is sick, especially if an inw family member is sick, wouldn¡¯t it be inappropriate for the sister-inw to not move a finger and instead go buy the porridge? Especially when living together?


    ¡°That wouldn¡¯t be right, not at all,¡± I said to myself, shaking my head.


    A few momentster, I looked up the abalone porridge recipe on my phone and left the house to go grocery shopping.


    ***


    It was my romantic fantasy to cook porridge for someone when they were sick. I had always hoped someone would do that for me if I was sick. While pouring out the abalone porridge into a bowl, for an instant, I was a bit jealous of Lee JiHan. I had made it, but I was jealous of him for being able to eat it. I wish someone would make me porridge.


    Living with my stepmother after my mother had passed away, I¡¯d never been able to experience such love. Whether it rained or snowed, whether I was sick or healthy, I was nothing but a ghost who inhabited their living room.


    Swallowing my jealousy, I ced the bowl of abalone porridge on a tray with a spoon and a cup of water. After cing the three things nicely on the tray, I took it to the bedroom. I knocked, and then slipped into the room and helped JiHan sit up.


    ¡°You looked sick, so I made you some porridge.¡±


    At my words, Lee JiHan took his feet off the bed.¡±


    ¡°No, you don¡¯t have to get up. Just eatfortably on the bed....¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t like food smells getting into where I sleep,¡± Lee JiHan replied coldly.


    ¡°Oh, okay. Then we should leave. I¡¯ll leave. You shoulde to the kitchen.¡±


    With the tray still in my hand, I backtracked out of the room. Lee JiHan¡¯s calm voice followed me. ¡°I¡¯lle out once I change clothes.¡±


    ¡°Oh, okay. I¡¯ll leave this on the table then,¡± I replied, heading to the kitchen.


    It was strange, JiHan¡¯s attitude toward me was different. If he hated the smell of food where he slept, howe he didn¡¯t reprimand me for bringing it in? Lee JiHan usually attacked me like a hyena when there was even a hint of something he found unpleasant, but he just let it go without a single criticism. Is he just too weak right now?


    After putting down the abalone porridge, spoon, and water cup, I returned the tray to its original ce. Then, I cleaned all the kitchenware. A few minutester, I turned around afterpleting the dishes to find Lee JiHan watching me from the kitchen entrance. I jumped in surprise upon seeing him.


    ¡°Oh, you scared me! When did you get here?¡± I asked, flustered.


    I wasn¡¯t sure why, but Lee JiHan looked at me weakly with sad eyes.


    ¡°Why is your expression like that? Are you really ill?¡± I asked because I was worried, but Lee JiHan turned his head away from me and sighed. What¡¯s going on?


    I frowned, thinking something was definitely strange as Lee JiHan walked to the table. Even though his expression looked like he was dying, he must have had some energy because he grabbed the spoon in front of him. If he¡¯d had the energy to change his clothes, of course, must have the energy to lift a spoon. But, if he can do that, then howe he doesn¡¯t have any energy to criticize me? His hands and feet seem to be okay. Is there something wrong with his brain?


    Examining Lee JiHan here and there, I sat down across from him. JiHan scooped half a spoonful of abalone porridge and put it in his mouth. Soon, he spit out the empty spoon. He still looked sad, but now his expression held some anger.


    ¡°I really was going to tell you nicely,¡± Lee JiHan said quietly. ¡°But did you make this to feed me porridge or to kill me?¡±


    ¡°What? Does it taste bad?¡± I asked, surprised.


    ¡°For goodness sake, even in this situation, I don¡¯t think I can lie! What is thisbination of fishy and oily? How could you give a sick person something like this to eat!¡±


    ¡°I put in a lot of effort into making that...I must really have no knack for cooking,¡± I said sadly.


    After seeing my depressed look, Lee JiHan seemed to regret what he¡¯d said and closed his mouth. Then with both hands covering his face, he sighed. He must regret leaving me to cook dinner. But I still had a wild card left. Unfazed, I got up from my seat.


    ¡°But! You will like this!¡±


    I hurriedly went to the stove and opened the other pot that did not hold my version of the porridge. It was the one from the hotel restaurant that JiKyung had rmended. I¡¯d bought it in advance, just in case I failed. It was a good thing I did.


    I poured a new bowl with the Korean restaurant¡¯s abalone porridge and walked confidently to Lee JiHan. I was assured of my sess this time.


    ¡°I bought this from the hotel¡¯s Korean restaurant that you like.¡±


    I put the new bowl of abalone porridge in front of Lee JiHan, but for some unknown reason, he looked forlornly at the new porridge.


    ¡°Why...why? You don¡¯t like it?¡± I asked, disappointed.


    ¡°It¡¯s not that. I just don¡¯t feel good about it.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to worry about me to this extent,¡± Lee JiHan muttered with a defeated expression.


    What? What the heck did I just hear right now?


    ¡°What do you mean? Of course I should worry, of course! You are JiKyung¡¯s most treasured younger brother.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to be good to me for my brother,¡± Lee JiHan replied dismally.


    What is this reaction...


    ¡°It¡¯s not because of your brother, it¡¯s for me. If you are happy, then your brother is happy. If your brother is happy, then I am happy. Ultimately, I am being good to you for my own benefit.¡±


    My voice rang out cheerfully like a bell, but JiHan looked even more depressed at this and sighed as if the world was ending.


    ¡°My brother...do you like him that much?¡±


    ¡°No, I...¡± I didn¡¯t know the reason for the question, but I answered him calmly.


    That fact that I¡¯d said ¡°no¡± must have been unexpected, because Lee JiHan looked at me suspiciously. I lifted my hands up to my shoulders, and with my thumb and index finger crossed, I created a heart.


    ¡°I love JiKyung.¡±


    JiHan looked at my heart with pity. What is wrong with him? Did his soul get swapped? He used to scoff at me if I did something like this. That¡¯s Lee JiHan. Why isn¡¯t he doing that?


    I was a bit taken aback by this reaction that was so unlike him.


    In a heavy tone, he asked me, ¡°Can you not love my brother?¡±

 Chapter 15

    <h4>Chapter 15</h4>


    I was lost for words. Lee JiHan¡¯s eyes, which were looking into mine, looked so desperate that my heart became heavy. I wanted to tell him immediately that I would do as he asked. Oh! Is this guy trying to gain my sympathy? To get away from his brother. The sudden suspicion brought me back to my senses.


    ¡°Of course not!¡±


    ¡°Why not?¡± Lee JiHan asked, looking even more unnerved after he saw me get offended.


    I was right. With that face and those sad eyes, he knows no girl could say no to him. That¡¯s what he was after.


    To not get sucked into his ploy, I gathered myself and replied firmly, ¡°Why not? Because it¡¯s impossible to stop your heart with your mind.¡±


    JiHan looked at me quizzically.


    ¡°However much you want to stop it, you can¡¯t stop what the heart wants. You can stop or move your hands or feet with your head, but that¡¯s not possible with your heart.¡±


    I put my right hand over heart and continued. ¡°And because love is already in here, I can¡¯t stop it. Neither with my head nor my will.¡±


    While I¡¯m at, should I do this too? I put up my left hand also, and with both hands at my heart, I made the shape of a heart. ¡°As long as my heart is beating, my love will never stop.¡±


    My heart beat erratically as ifughing at the ridiculousness of it all, but without a single change in expression, I continued my act as if this was my truth and I really hoped this truth could be seen by JiHan.


    JiHan looked at me pathetically.


    ¡°If you really are in love...then you can¡¯t possibly say those kinds of things with a clear head,¡± he muttered to himself.


    ¡°What?¡±


    Lee JiHan shook his head as I questioned him, and instead of a response, he asked me another question.


    ¡°If you stop, do you think you will die?¡±


    It didn¡¯t sound like he was being sarcastic or demanding. It sounded like he was sincerely and carefully asking me if that was the case. It was as if he was worried about me.


    ¡°Of course!¡±


    I wasn¡¯t sure why he was asking this, but I answered confidently anyways. At my response, Lee JiHan¡¯s head drooped.


    ¡°I really don¡¯t know what I should do.¡±


    You¡¯re saying you don¡¯t know what you have to do to me to get me to stay away from your brother, right? Now that annoying me is not working, did he change tactics to try to gain my sympathy instead? I¡¯m not falling for that.


    With a positive spirit, I scooped up a spoonful of abalone porridge and gave it to Lee JiHan.


    ¡°You must be contemting how to get rid of me, but before you do that, eat the porridge first. You have to get back your energy. What could you possibly do in this state? First, eat this, regain your energy, then you can continue thinking about it.¡±


    I crouched down to try to get a look at JiHan¡¯s lowered face. I then put the spoon to his mouth. He hesitated, but surprisingly, took it without a fight. He was like a stray cat that had finally decided to lower his guard and take the food I was offering. I was not only surprised but ecstatic.


    After swallowing, Lee JiHan opened his mouth and said, ¡°It¡¯s tasty.¡±


    ¡°Really?!¡± I knew it would taste good, but I didn¡¯t expect him to actually say it out loud and so nicely.


    ¡°Aren¡¯t you going to eat?¡± he asked.


    I really didn¡¯t think he would have the courtesy to take me into consideration. I was so taken aback that the surprise I was feeling crept into my voice.


    ¡°Me?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not in a state to cook today. I can¡¯t make a meal for you so let¡¯s just share this,¡± he said.


    ¡°Oh, no, it¡¯s okay! I can just eat the abalone porridge that I made. You should eat all the porridge made from the famous chef. It¡¯s not like there is a lot, you don¡¯t have to share with the likes of me,¡± I said as I sat down across from him.


    I went to pour myself a bowl of my abalone porridge, which had been pushed aside by the hotel porridge, but JiHan grabbed my wrist with one hand and my porridge in the other.


    ¡°Then I¡¯ll eat this,¡± he said.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°You can eat this one.¡± Lee JiHan let go of my hand and pushed the hotel abalone porridge over to me.


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to, you said it didn¡¯t taste good.¡±


    ¡°The bitter one is probably better for my health.¡± Lee JiHan answered and scooped up my version of the abalone porridge.


    He went on to take a spoonful and put it to his mouth but stopped his motion. He must have been unable to go through with it. Eventually, Lee JiHan let the spoon slip into the bowl of porridge, and in the next moment, he lifted the entire bowl with his two hands. With a scrunched up face, he squeezed his eyes shut and drank the entire abalone porridge in one go.


    If it was that disgusting, why is he even bothering to finish it off? I stared at him, blinking in confusion, while JiHan emptied the bowl and mmed it back onto the table. With his face scrunched up even more, he let out a plea for help.


    ¡°Something sweet!


    ¡°What?¡±


    Lee JiHan shot up from his seat and headed for the refrigerator. He picked up the cider from the fridge and drank it straight out of the bottle.


    ***


    After the strange dinner, Lee JiHan stayed locked up in his room and didn¡¯t think toe out. This morning he had followed me around all day during my day off to watch me, but now he was nowhere to be found.


    Is he preparing an even more excruciating test? When this calm is over, is he going toe back with a vengeance blowing his whistle in full force? Like a newly freed bird that was afraid to venture outside, I paced nervously around the living room chewing on my fingernails.


    I texted JiKyung to discuss the situation with him.


    [We don¡¯t know when Lim DaeChul will show up so it might be better to move.]


    ¡°Can¡¯t you just tell him that you¡¯re abroad and no one is at home?¡±


    [We might be able to avoid it for a while, but if hees over once we¡¯re married, it will be a pain. Let¡¯s just move to a new house.]


    ¡°But if we move all of a sudden to a new house, wouldn¡¯t your brother think it¡¯s weird? There¡¯s no real reason.¡±


    JiKyung didn¡¯t reply back to my message for a long time.


    [Just tell him that I told you to do it.]


    ¡°You can¡¯t think of a good enough excuse either, can you?¡±


    [Yea. If I was to tell him I have a stalker, then he will want to catch him and make the situation worse. If I say I don¡¯t like the feel of the house, he will find some professional to pick out a house for us....]


    ¡°The feel of the house? Your brother believes in that stuff also?¡±


    [Yep. All the lucky talismans stuck around the house were put there by JiHan.]


    Is Lee JiHan in his room right now sticking pins into a voodoo doll that has my name on it? I red at the bedroom suspiciously.


    [For now, just tell him it was my request and switch houses. If JiHan asks for a reason, just beat around the bush until you can think of one.]


    ¡°All right. Although if Ie out like this, I¡¯m the one that¡¯s going to get pounded. The Korean daughter-inws¡¯ fate is that they are always at fault even if the husband makes the mistake. But I¡¯m fine with that.¡±


    I¡¯m fine. But when you return, you¡¯ll be dead meat by hand. I sent this deep meaning message to JiKyung.


    [....I¡¯ll bring a present.]


    This guy, he knows how to gain love from a girl. The downside is that he doesn¡¯t know how to give love to a girl.


    ¡°Don¡¯t we also have to change the reception venue? DaeChul sunbae saw the wedding invitation.¡±


    Even if it was a contract wedding, I was not looking forward to unwee guests, so I suggested this to JiKyung.


    [Yea. We probably should. If we change the venue, we should edit the wedding invitation too. I¡¯m sorry for causing such a hassle.]


    ¡°No, it¡¯s my fault I dropped the invitation. Dating that jerk was not your fault.¡±


    I had gotten so used to JiHan¡¯s criticizing style that I too was using sophisticated sarcasm to bring to light the other¡¯s faults. After sending the message, I sat and waited for JiKyung¡¯s reply. Suddenly, I heard the sound of the door opening from the bedroom. I jumped in surprise and reflexivelyid down on my makeshift bed. With my eyes closed, I pretended to sleep and honed my senses to feel Lee JiHan¡¯s presence. If I hear the whistle, I will wake up, I told myself as I continued to feign sleep.


    JiHan¡¯s footsteps ominously starteding toward my direction. *Thump, thump, thump*


    His footsteps stopped above my head. My day off has ended, let hell begin. The whistle will now wake me up. I waited in preparation to hear the whistle. But the sound of the whistle never came. Instead, I heard Lee JiHan¡¯s footstepsing toward me, and soon his arms were wrapped around my shoulders. What is this?! Lee JiHan¡¯s other arm supported my legs. Slowly, without any faltering, he lifted me up and started taking me somewhere.


    Why is he doing this? Why isn¡¯t he waking me up? Is he going to throw me away? Outside? Anxiously, I peeked through my eyshes, thinking that if I got caught, I could just pretend that I was waking up. JiHan was not heading for the front door; he was taking me to the guest room, where I had originally wanted to reside. Why is he bringing me here? If he¡¯s not intending to throw me away, why is he acting like this? I grew more and more curious of JiHan¡¯s motives, so I continued to feign sleep. He walked a few more steps and slowly put me down.


    What the...I was baffled to find my body caught by the soft bed below me. JiHan even tucked a nket over me. Ah ha. I must be dreaming, although I can¡¯t tell where the dream started and where it ended. But anyways this was a dream. It could only be a dream, this situation.


    As I was trying to make sense of it, I heard a sigh that seemed too real to be a dream. Then I heard his footsteps move farther and farther away. Finally, I heard the door close carefully behind him.


    After the door closed, not a single sound could be heard, so I slowly opened my eyes. I was in the guest room alone, lying serenely on the bed. Confused, I looked around the dark room, to make sure that this wasn¡¯t a dream. Why did he move me to the guest room while I was sleeping? I tried to understand Lee JiHan¡¯s actions. I thought and thought about it.


    He is definitely nning something. It can¡¯t be anything good, can it? This is just a new way he is nning to bother me. I remembered sitting on this bed a month ago and being forced to move to the living room, just to hear the sound of that damn whistle. This room had been too far to hear the whistle being blown from his bedroom, and if I couldn¡¯t hear the whistle, JiHan would deduct points from me.


    Ah! That jerk! He is nning to blow his whistle from his room after moving me to the guest room so I can¡¯t hear it! It finally felt like the puzzle pieces wereing together. Ha, you think I won¡¯t be able to hear if you do that? I tiptoed away from the bed toward the door. Sneakily, without making any noise, I peeked my head outside the door. Past the dark living room, I could see the light on in the bedroom as the door closed. JiHan must have just gone into his bedroom.


    Just in case, I tiptoed like a thief and carefully, while holding my breath, snuck back to the living room. You just blow that whistle. I¡¯ll run to you like the wind and knock you off your feet! I sat with my arms crossed and listened intently for the sounding from the bedroom, but even when morning came, no sound ever came from the bedroom.


    I had been nodding off to sleep in a crouched position when a voice woke me up. I forced my eyes open and turned my head to the bedroom. There, I saw Lee JiHaning out of his bedroom. He stepped into the living room without thinking, and his eyes widened upon finding me there. Lee JiHan blinked with a look of disbelief on his face.


    ¡°Why are you here?¡±


    ¡°Because this is my spot. I¡¯m supposed to be here.¡±


    ¡°No, I moved you to the guest roomst night, so why are you here.¡±


    Lee JiHan revealed that he moved mest night instead of hiding it. I had thought that he would hide that fact and make me look stupid. But with the unexpected turn of events, I swallowed dryly and tried to figure out what to do next.


    ¡°You moved mest night? I thought I was sleepwalking when I found myself on top of the bed.¡±


    I pretended to not know what happened. I exined that I didn¡¯t want to be used of faking sleep when I wasn¡¯t, so I came back out to the living room. It¡¯s not like I could tell him the truth.


    ¡°I moved you. Watching you sleep in the living room didn¡¯t seem right,¡± JiHan replied without any sort of secrecy.


    ¡°You should have just woken me up. You didn¡¯t have to move me yourself,¡± I replied.


    ¡°I couldn¡¯t really keep track of time yesterday, and I just happened to see you when I came out to the living room. It was a bitte to wake you up, but I didn¡¯t want you to continue sleeping there. So I moved you.¡±


    At his articte and sincere words, my mind drew a nk. He moved me because he was worried about me?


    ¡°You can keep using that room from now on,¡± he added.


    ¡°Uh, why?!¡± I was so shocked by his act of kindness that I practically yelled the question.


    ¡°The living room is ufortable.¡±


    When did you ever worry about myfort? The more I heard, the less I could trust him, and my suspicions rose. I¡¯m certain. He knows I can¡¯t hear the whistle if I use the guest room, so that¡¯s what he¡¯s after.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s okay. The living room isfortable enough. I lived in the living room at my old house too. And plus, this living room is ten or twenty times bigger! I¡¯ll just keep using it. I like it here.¡±


    ¡°How long have you been living in a living room?¡± asked JiHan.


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°You said you always used the living room. How long did you use the living room for?¡±


    I searched my memory to find the answer to JiHan¡¯s question. When I was in middle school, we had gone bankrupt. We moved from ce to ce, trying to avoid the loan collectors. We weren¡¯t able to finally buy a house until I was in high school. By the time my stepmother, father, and my two step-siblings had imed their rooms, there was nowhere left except the living room and the bathroom.


    ¡°About 15 years...Yeah. It¡¯s been about that long. 15 years.¡±


    ¡°Then it must be because you haven¡¯t used a room in 15 years, but if you try using it, you¡¯ll find that it is much morefortable. Stop fighting it and just use it.¡± After saying that much, Lee JiHan headed to the kitchen.


    ¡°But If I stay there, It will be hard to hear...that whistle,¡± I mumbled, getting up quickly.


    Lee JiHan stopped to turn and look at me. ¡°The whistle, I threw it away,¡± he said.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°You will no longer have to see that.¡±


    I stared at him in shock.


    ¡°Just go to your room and sleep. Your face looks like you definitely need it. Go andfortably sleep some more, and when you wake up,e out to eat breakfast.¡± JiHan walked swiftly to the kitchen as if there was nothing else left to say.


    Seeing that, I was at a loss for words. Nothing seemed toe to mind. While my mind was drawing a nk, JiHan put on an apron and opened the fridge. As if he really wasn¡¯t going to tell me to do anything, he took the ingredients and concentrated on prepping them. Is he testing me? ¡°I¡¯m going to see how well you do without memanding you to.¡± Is that it? No, no, it¡¯s not! It¡¯s isn¡¯t!


    I gathered my mental capabilities and followed Lee JiHan.


    ¡°I want to work, I want to work! What should I do? Cleaning? Laundry?¡± I asked.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, just rest.¡± JiHan didn¡¯t even spare me a look and continued to cut the vegetables.


    ¡°No, I really want to work. That¡¯s what will make mefortable. Oh! Should I pull out the weeds? I rested yesterday, so new weeds might havee out.¡±


    ¡°I told you to rest! Why can¡¯t you just rest?!¡± Lee JiHan yelled, his face flushed in anger. ¡°Go rest in your room!¡±


    I jumped and stepped back. If I didn¡¯t rest, I felt like I would get in big trouble. I checked his reaction and slowly continued to step back until I passed the living room and arrived at the guest room.

 Chapter 16

    <h4>Chapter 16</h4>


    All throughout breakfast, I sat anxiously, stealing nces at Lee JiHan who sat across the table, waiting for him to change back to normal at any moment. All he did was eat. Like it had been for the past month, the moment I swallowed the food, positivements flew out of my mouth. Unlike the past month, however, JiHan did not disappear but instead, stayed in his seat. Why is he acting like this?


    Not used to the sudden change, I couldn¡¯t help but get a nagging feeling. I suddenly remembered the conversation I had with JiKyungst night and decided to start my mission.


    ¡°Oh. JiKyung told me to look for a different ce to live. He wants us to empty out of here and find a new ce immediately.¡±


    ¡°He wants to empty out this house?¡± JiHan asked, surprised.


    ¡°Yes. As soon as possible. I¡¯ll let you know the reasonter.¡±


    Lee JiHan looked to be lost in thought at my words, but nodded his head. ¡°Yes. We should empty it out today.¡±


    My eyes grew wide at hisck of suspicion.


    ¡°What?¡± I was expecting at least a little resistance.


    How could he just agree with asking any questions? I couldn¡¯t believe it, but Lee JiHan ignored my question and threw another question at me instead.


    ¡°Did you find a new ce yet?¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°If you¡¯re going to get out of here immediately, you should know where you¡¯re going to go next.¡±


    ¡°Oh...I was going to go looking today. Somewhere we can move in right away.¡±


    ¡°But finding a ce won¡¯t be so easy. Until you find a ce, let¡¯s just stay at my house.¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t that your parents¡¯ house?¡±


    ¡°No. I have an apartment under my name.¡±


    This 28-year-old owns an apartment, but someone like me who has worked for 28 years can¡¯t even dream to buy one. The world is so unfair.


    ¡°If you had your own apartment, why were you living at your brother¡¯s ce?¡±


    ¡°Because it¡¯s my brother¡¯s house.¡±


    I looked back at him, confused.


    ¡°Once I started studying abroad, I was unable to see my brother often. I wanted to spend time at his house when I was back in Korea. I won¡¯t be able to see him for a long time when I leave, so I wanted to spend a lot of time with him here,¡± JiHan told me with a look of deep longing for his brother.


    However, as soon as he stopped talking about his brother, for some reason, he stared out into space and sighed in defeat, as if none of this had been worth it.


    ¡°Oh...but is it okay if we so suddenly leave your brother¡¯s house?¡± I asked cautiously.


    Without any hesitation, Lee JiHan nodded. ¡°We¡¯ll start packing as soon as we¡¯re done eating. I¡¯ll do the dishes.¡±


    This unbelievable statement he¡¯d uttered surprised me so much that I dropped the spoon I was holding.


    ***


    Lee JiHan really did do the dishes, and he really did take me to his apartment. In front of the apartment door, JiHan put his fingertips on the door lock and calmly taught me how to use it.


    ¡°This is the password,¡± he said and keyed in the password slowly so that I could see it. Then, in aposed manner, he added. ¡°You might get confused, so I¡¯ll write it down for you.¡±


    ¡°Uh, okay,¡± I answered, a bit baffled.


    His ongoing kind actions felt like a dream. JiHan opened the front door wide and stepped aside to let me go in first. I shuffled nervously inside as he closed the door behind me. Passing me along the hallway, he lead me into the apartment.


    ¡°It¡¯s smaller than my brother¡¯s house. There are only 4 rooms. I¡¯ll be using the master bedroom, you can choose any of the other rooms.¡±


    I quietly followed Lee JiHan and looked around. Smaller than his brother¡¯s house? You couldn¡¯t even tell the difference! Here or there, the living room itself was bigger than my stepmother¡¯s entire housebined. I had been following him muttering to myself when Lee JiHan stopped abruptly and turned around.


    ¡°I¡¯m telling you now, you can¡¯t stay in the living room,¡± he said strictly.


    ¡°If...you aren¡¯t going to use the whistle here either, then there is no reason for me to want to stay in the living room,¡± I stammered.


    ¡°I won¡¯t use the whistle. Here, or wherever.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because I don¡¯t want to make you work anymore.¡±


    ¡°But if you don¡¯t make me work...then what do I do here?¡±


    ¡°You can just eat and sleep,¡± JiHan said nonchntly and headed to the living room table.


    Crouching down, he went to grab the pen and memo pad. Watching him, I seriously started to contemte the reason behind all of this.


    Why is he being so nice to me all of a sudden? A million things ran through my mind when suddenly a theory popped into my head, and my eyes grew wide. JiHan handed me the paper on which he¡¯d written down the password. I looked up at Lee JiHan¡¯s eyes and with hope, opened my mouth.


    ¡°Are you giving me approval for this wedding?¡±


    His initial reasons for making my life difficult was because he was against the marriage. So if he decided to no longer make my life difficult, then didn¡¯t it mean he was no longer against the marriage? Ah! I really hope this is the answer.


    With my hands folded together in prayer, I looked at him desperately, but Lee JiHan replied back coldly, ¡°Never.¡±


    With my hopes crashing down around me, I dropped my hands weakly. Lee JiHan then stared directly into my eyes and continued. ¡°The reason for it has changed, but the result is the same. I am against this wedding.¡±


    ¡°Then why are you telling me to do nothing and stay here? The whole point of this was for you to decide whether you approve or disapprove of this wedding by keeping points on my good and bad attributes. That¡¯s why we decided to live together for two months. But if you tell me now that all I have to do is eat and sleep...¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m no longer going to keep points on you.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because now, I do not disagree with this wedding because you are an inadequate partner to my brother.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean¨C¡±


    ¡°And I¡¯m not going to hurt your feelings just to disy my disapproval.¡±


    Completely baffled, I took the memo that JiHan handed me. His hand, which had been holding the memo, slowly opened and he ced it in front of me as if inviting me to a handshake. Not knowing the reason behind this, I looked at JiHan¡¯s eyes hesitantly. At that moment, he grabbed my hand in his. I jumped in surprise and froze as my heart started to flutter. I realized how small my hands werepared to his, and I could feel the warmth of his hand in mine.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry for all the trouble I caused you this past month,¡± he said while shaking my hand. ¡°From now on, I promise to y fair. I will persuade you against this marriage without hurting you.¡±


    He spoke as if swearing on his life and let go of my hand. I stood frozen like a statue, and as he removed his hand, the memo slipped out and fluttered down to the ground. I paid no attention to the memo, but instead just stood there numbly.


    ***


    Lee JiHan


    After letting Na AhJung choose her room, I returned to my bedroom, closed the door, and let out a sigh. Since yesterday, I had been a hot mess. I was angry at my brother for lying to me, but I also sympathized with him for having no choice but to lie to me. Why does my brother have to be gay? I resented God for it. Being gay is not a sin, but why does it have to be my brother? I was angry and sad.


    My emotions bounced crazily around, back and forth every minute. I thought about it all night, but I still could not make heads or tails out of it, and I was afraid to face my brother like this. I couldn¡¯t even imagine confessing that I knew his secret. To be able to openly talk to my brother about this, I needed time.


    I know now, so you don¡¯t have to hide it any longer. There woulde a day when I could finally look at my brother in the eye and tell him that. But that timing was not now. I was thankful my brother would be away for another month on his business trip. I thought deeply about what I had to do for AhJung within that month. I needed to make her give up on the marriage without her finding out that my brother was gay. Either I had to make her love for him fizzle out, or make her realize that there was someone more important than my brother. No matter what, I had to make her cancel the wedding without hurting her, and I had to do it before my brother came back, and quickly. I nodded, determined to make amends for my bothering her, and my brother¡¯s lie that could have ruined her life.


    ***


    A few momentster as I was leaving the bedroom, I saw the back of AhJung standing in the hallway. As if at a crossroads, she looked back and forth from one room to another, trying to make a decision. I looked at the big room next to mine and turned my head towards Na AhJung. Why is she leaving this big, nice room and contemting between the two smallest rooms? Thinking how strange it was, I stepped toward her.


    ¡°What are you thinking so hard about? The answer is obvious.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡± AhJung turned her head upon hearing my voice.


    I stood in front of her. ¡°That room over there is much better than these two here.¡± I pointed at the room across from my bedroom, and AhJung¡¯s face turned to stone.


    ¡°Uh, no, that¡¯s alright. I like these better,¡± she retorted, pointing towards the opposite side.


    Our two arms pointed in opposite directions like the North and South needles of apass.


    ¡°Why? Because it¡¯s far from my bedroom?¡±


    ¡°...Uh, no?¡± Startled, Na AhJung shook her head vigorously.


    ¡°If it¡¯s not that then what exactly is the reason?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s...because it¡¯s closest to the front door. If there is a fire or an earthquake, it¡¯s the room with the closest exit.¡±


    ¡°Oh...I didn¡¯t think of that. That¡¯s true. Then I think I should switch rooms to one of these two.¡±


    AhJung flinched at my unexpected reaction. She looked here and there until her eyes locked onto the ceiling.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t that a sprinkler? If there is a fire, it will turn on right away. Then if there is a fire, it will be easily extinguished! I think this room is safe enough, don¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°Is that so?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I think so.¡± She nodded her head aggressively.


    ¡°Then, you should listen to me,¡± I said. I grabbed her wrist and dragged her into the room in front of mine.


    ¡°You said I was allowed to choose my room,¡± AhJung questioned in a disconcerting voice.


    ¡°However much I think about it, your choice seems to be wrong,¡± I replied.


    I arrived at my destination and ced Na AhJung in front of the door. As she looked into the room, her eyes widened in shock.


    ¡°You want me to use a room like this?!¡±


    She looked around the room as if it was something she¡¯s never seen in her life. Seeing her reaction, I asked, ¡°You didn¡¯t even open this room, did you?¡±


    ¡°I...I guess I forgot to,¡± she stuttered, taken aback.


    ¡°Forgot? You probably didn¡¯t even look at it because it was next to my room,¡± I scolded her with a frown.


    AhJung snuck a nce at me and asked cautiously, ¡°Can I really use this room?¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s a television and air conditioner in here, the closet is huge, the bed is a queen size, and I can use it?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s why I¡¯m telling you to use it. So you can enjoy it.¡±


    ¡°That can¡¯t be true!¡± AhJung dropped onto the floor as if she had found out some dark family secret.


    It¡¯s not big of a deal. I found her reaction intriguing, but I also felt a bit guilty. She had been through a lot, so my change in behavior could be a bit shocking. I coughed in embarrassment and decided to do more nice things for her.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go out after you unpack. We¡¯ll go to buy some things you will need. I¡¯ll be in the living room, so once you¡¯re ready,e out.¡±


    She blinked at me in confusion. Assuming she¡¯d heard me, I shrugged my shoulders and exited the room.

 Chapter 17

    <h4>Chapter 17</h4>


    I turned off the engine and got out of the car after finding a parking space. I headed toward the passenger side to open the door, but AhJung burst through it before I could even get there. As she closed the door, a whistle blew beside her. She quickly turned at the sound and immediately eximed, &quot;Yes, I¡¯ming!&quot;


    She had been ready to run when she suddenly stopped. AhJung must have realized what I already knew; the person blowing the whistle was not me but the parking enforcer.


    Both Na AhJung and I stood there in silence. It was like the Pavlov reflex. Upon hearing the whistle again, AhJung flinched.


    Feeling guilty about doing that to the girl, I sighed with a heavy heart. For a moment, I became angry at my brother for letting it get this far. If my brother had not initially brought her home, I wouldn¡¯t have had to harass her to this extent. But what was done was done, whether I felt guilty or not. Let¡¯s just be thankful that I found out before it was toote.


    To alleviate my guilt, I walked behind the frozen AhJung and ced my palm on top of her head.


    &quot;Not that way.&quot; I turned her head towards the mall¡¯s entrance. &quot;Let¡¯s go this way.&quot;


    &quot;Oh.&quot; AhJung nodded her reddening face and started to walk toward the mall entrance.


    I had been walking next to her when the sound of the whistle was heard again. I took my two hands and shielded her ears from it.


    ***


    First, we entered the furniture section and asked the sales rep for help.


    &quot;I need to buy everything for a girl¡¯s room, what do you think I will need?&quot; I asked her.


    &quot;Excuse me?&quot; said the rep.


    &quot;I have a bed, wardrobe, and a desk, but what else would I need? For a girl¡¯s room,&quot; I exined.


    &quot;Oh...one moment.&quot; Looking confused, the sales rep opened a drawer underneath the register and took out a catalog.


    I turned back during this moment and saw Na AhJung wandering around.


    &quot;If you look in here, you can see the model designs of girl¡¯s rooms. You can use it as a reference.&quot; The sales rep opened the catalog and ced it in front of me.


    I looked through the catalog in detail. AhJung¡¯s room was designed like a castle in Versailles with white and luxurious antique furniture. I indicated the furniture pieces that would be needed toplement the decor. A vanity, full-length mirror, vase, tea table and chairs, cabs, teddy bear...Is a teddy bear also considered furniture?


    &quot;Do you sell this here also?&quot; I asked, pointing to therge teddy bear that sat on the bed in the picture.


    &quot;No, we don¡¯t. That¡¯s just for decoration because most girl¡¯s rooms have at least one doll of that sort.&quot;


    &quot;Then I need to buy one of these also,&quot; I mumbled to myself.


    I entered the teddy bear into my brain. Suddenly something unexpected caught my attention in the picture.


    &quot;What¡¯s this?&quot;


    From the top of the bed frame, a drape flowed and wrapped itself around the bed like a white veil. Na AhJung arrived next to me and interrupted us.


    &quot;Oh, I know what that is. It¡¯s a mosquito screen,&quot; she answered brightly, d to find a piece of furniture she knew about.


    The sales rep in front of us opened her mouth delicately to correct her.


    &quot;That¡¯s...a canopy.&quot;


    &quot;Canopy?&quot; AhJung looked as if she had never heard of such a thing. &quot;What¡¯s that?&quot;


    At AhJung¡¯s question, the sales rep turned the page and showed us a picture of an even more extravagant canopy.


    &quot;You drape it over your bed like this as a decorative touch,&quot; exined the rep. &quot;Isn¡¯t it pretty? It¡¯s a bed for a princess.&quot;


    AhJung nodded as if she understood. &quot;I see, it¡¯s pretty...useless.&quot;


    &quot;No, it¡¯s very useful. In the summer, it can also function as a mosquito screen,&quot; insisted the rep.


    &quot;But it¡¯s all open on this side,&quot; AhJung pointed out.


    &quot;That portion is so the person can enter and exit through it.&quot;


    &quot;And the mosquitos can also enter and exit through it.&quot;


    &quot;As its main purpose is decorative, it will be difficult for it to function exactly like a mosquito screen,&quot; said the now perturbed rep.


    AhJung scratched her head in confusion while examining the canopy. Her eyes made it apparent that she still thought it was useless. The sales rep saw this, so she started to list the positives of the canopy.


    &quot;It will be great to have one of these in your home. It¡¯s a girl¡¯s fantasy, a delicate chiffon canopy.&quot;


    &quot;Ugh, cleaning chiffon is a handful. You have to wash it manually, and since it¡¯s so thin, it will probably melt when it gets wet. I¡¯d be afraid to even rub it.&quot; AhJung shuttered, unwilling to even attempt cleaning such a thing.


    I interrupted Na AhJung and replied casually, &quot;You won¡¯t be doingundry anyways, so just use it.&quot;


    &quot;What?&quot;


    I ignored her and flipped over the page to the one I had been looking.


    &quot;Excluding the bed, wardrobe, and desk, I want everything else,&quot; I told the sales rep.


    &quot;Oh, yes, of course!&quot; The rep smiled widely and went to the register. Next to me, Na AhJung had her mouth wide open in shock. I took out the credit card from my wallet and pointed at the catalog with it.


    &quot;This teddy bear, where can I buy it?&quot;


    ***


    Na AhJung


    Inside the mall Starbucks, I sat hugging the giant teddy bear which I hadn¡¯t been able to find a separate seat for, trembling in fear. Lee JiHan had not only bought an entire set of furniture to decorate my room but also bought a stack of clothes to fill the closet. He¡¯d even bought a makeup set! Still unable to decipher what he was up to, I watched in fear as JiHan continued to open his wallet.


    Why? Why is he buying all this stuff for me? What¡¯s he up to? Could it be that the card that he is using left and right, is secretly under my name?! I trembled as I imagined myself receiving the astronomical credit card statement and being sold away for my inability to pay it back.


    &quot;Are you cold?&quot; Lee JiHan asked me, returning from getting us our drinks.


    &quot;Uh, no.&quot;


    &quot;Then why are you trembling?&quot;


    &quot;Because I¡¯m afraid...&quot;


    JiHan tilted his head quizzically at my answer. &quot;Why are you afraid?&quot;


    &quot;Um, I¡¯m sorry, but, could I take a look at that card?&quot;


    &quot;The card?&quot;


    &quot;Yes. The card you¡¯ve been using all day. It¡¯s just...the design looked pretty.&quot;


    &quot;First, take this,&quot; JiHan said and handed me the Americano.


    He ced the overly sweet looking frappino topped with a mountain of whip cream in front of himself and took out the credit card from his wallet. With trembling hands, I took the card from him and checked the name. LEE, JIHAN. Seeing the gold blocked lettering, I sighed in relief. I never thought this jerk¡¯s name would look so beautiful.


    &quot;Wow! It¡¯s really pretty.&quot;


    The world suddenly looked more beautiful, like I was a newly released prisoner. As I returned the credit card back to him, JiHan examined the card, not understanding what all the fuss was about. Finally able to calm down, I wrapped my hands around the warm Americano that he¡¯d brought me. I remembered back to a month and a couple of days ago, when Lee JiHan and I had sat across from each other at an airport Starbucks.


    I wondered how the cold, distant JiHan, who had taken the frappino I bought for him without even thanking me, had be the JiHan that bought me this Americano. I was just about to drink the Americano when I froze. Did he put something in my drink? I hurriedly put down the Americano and fell back.


    &quot;What? Is it hot?&quot;


    &quot;Huh? Oh, yes.&quot; I nodded as JiHan put down his drink next to mine.


    &quot;What are you doing?&quot;


    &quot;I¡¯m putting it there so yours will cool down faster.&quot;


    &quot;But then yours will melt!&quot; I said, pointing at the frappino.


    JiHan shrugged. &quot;I don¡¯t mind,&quot; he replied. &quot;Just because it melts a little won¡¯t cause me to hurt my tongue.&quot;


    He said it in a way that made it seem like he was worried I would hurt mine, and it peaked my suspicions. There must be something if he¡¯s trying this hard to make me drink my Americano. I was ring at my drink suspiciously when I heard JiHan¡¯s voice.


    &quot;If you need anything else for the house, let me know. I don¡¯t know what kind of things girls need.&quot;


    I don¡¯t need anything else, I just need you to go away. It was scarier when he¡¯s being nice to me than when he was harassing me. Feeling a chill on the back of my neck, I hugged the teddy bear tighter and gulped.


    ***


    Not having drunk a single drop of my Americano, we left Starbucks and headed for the grocery section. Lee JiHan paid for some snacks, wine and cheese, and finished our shopping. After parking at the apartment garage, JiHan grabbed all the shopping bags by himself and got out of the car. When I went to help him, he refused my assistance and told me to just take care of my teddy bear.


    In a horror film, there is always a scene like this. You can sense that a ghost will pop out and soon, but because you don¡¯t know when or where it will happen, you tense up in anticipation for it, agonizing over it. Every time that happened in movies, I couldn¡¯t stand not knowing how frightful it would be. Sometimes I¡¯d cry, pleading with the ghost to just hurry up and show itself. This very moment was like that.


    What kind of horrific fate awaited me? How and when was Lee JiHan going to turn on me and attack? As he and I rode the elevator, I squeezed the teddy bear with my hands folded in prayer around it. Just go back to how you were treating me. I¡¯d rather my body be exhausted than my mind. Even after we arrived at the apartment, my prayers went unanswered.


    Lee JiHan¡¯s manners continued to be kind as he prepared dinner, and after we had finished eating, he did notmand me to do any chores and just left me alone. I guess forcing me to rest was amand in itself, but other than that, he did not hand out any chores.


    Why? For goodness sake, why? Crouched on the bed with my teddy bear, I sent JiKyung a message in hopes of figuring out the answer.


    &quot;You¡¯re brother is being nice to me all of a sudden...&quot;


    [How exactly is he being nice to you?]


    &quot;Everything...&quot;


    The moment I sent the message, JiKyung called me out of the blue.


    &quot;Geez, you scared me!&quot; Jumping in fright, I answered the phone with my guard up and lowered my voice.


    &quot;Hello?&quot;


    [What do you mean, everything?] JiKyung asked seriously.


    &quot;It¡¯s¨C&quot; I was about to ry my entire day¡¯s worth of strangeness when the teddy bear caught my attention and I immediately shut up. This teddy bear which I had refused and which Lee JiHan had insisted I have. The thing I had carried around with me all day...it wouldn¡¯t be bugged, would it?


    I knew it didn¡¯t make sense, but my imagination was running wild, and there was no other logical reason that came to mind. Why would JiHan buy me a teddy bear? He couldn¡¯t have bought it for me because I would actually like it, could he? No. But at what possible timing could he have put a listening device in it? He gave it to me the moment he bought it.


    My mind¡¯s logic overcame my imagination, but I still grabbed the back of the teddy bear and shoved it in the closet. Closing the closet door, I finally felt safe.


    [AhJung? Are you listening?]


    &quot;Yes. It¡¯s okay now.&quot; Just in case, I hid under the covers and answered in a whisper.


    [I ran out of a meeting because of you. What were you talking about? JiHan is being nice to you?]


    I told him about JiHan carrying me to the bed and offering to let me stay at his apartment and buying me all this stuff. I gave him a timely y by y of every strange action that his brother had done that day.


    &quot;What do you think this is? What do you think he¡¯s nning?&quot;


    At my final question, JiKyung contemted in silence then answered.


    [Did he start liking you?]


    &quot;What?!&quot;


    [Not as a girl, just as a person.]


    &quot;Oh...&quot;


    [He can pretend to hate something even though he likes it, but he can¡¯t pretend to like something if he hates it.]


    &quot;Really?&quot;


    [I told youst time. He¡¯s very consistent with what he likes and dislikes. He¡¯ll never do something he doesn¡¯t want to.]


    &quot;That¡¯s true.&quot; I nodded my head as I remembered the list of JiHan¡¯s traits I had tried to memorize in the past.


    [He must have changed his mind within the month. He may not have agreed to the wedding, but he at least seems to want to be friendly with you.]


    &quot;Do you really think that¡¯s what this is? I keep thinking this is some sort of new plot,&quot; I mumbled unconfidently.


    [Plot?]


    &quot;Pretending to be good to me and then, bam! Stabbed in the back. Is he trying to get me to lower my guard and then lure me into a trap? That kind of thing.&quot;


    [No way.]


    &quot;Hey. Last time, I was ecstatic when he told me I could get a day off and then he ended up following me around everywhere and annoying me. It was a nightmare.&quot;


    [Well, at that time, it felt like he was throwing you a bone. I thought it was weird that he said he would give you a day off in the first ce.]


    &quot;If you thought it was weird, why didn¡¯t you tell mest time? Why are you telling me this now?&quot;


    [If I told you that then, you wouldn¡¯t have gotten a single wink of sleep, afraid of the terrors that awaited you the next day.]


    &quot;Well...that¡¯s probably true.&quot;


    [Anyways, this time will be different. He said he was sorry and would y fair with his own mouth. I think this time, he is sincere.]


    &quot;I hope you¡¯re right...&quot;


    [Of course, there¡¯s no way a worrywart like you is ever going to believe that.]


    I nodded as he described me perfectly.


    JiKyung reassured me by adding, [I¡¯ll call JiHan and try to find out what¡¯s happening. For now, quit worrying.]


    &quot;Okay. Thank you.&quot;


    I was about to end the call on a positive note when I heard a knock at the door. I hurriedly hung up the phone in fright and kicked away the nket. Outside, I heard Lee JiHan¡¯s voice.


    &quot;Can we talk outside?&quot;


    Lee JiHan didn¡¯t open the door but waited for my answer. I realized that my space included a door. A door that blocked anyone from carelessly interrupting or seeing me. My sudden awareness of my privacy caught me off guard. Due to this sudden realization, I sat there numbly for a moment, then finally got up to answer the door.


    &quot;Ah, yes, I¡¯ming!&quot;

 Chapter 18

    <h4>Chapter 18</h4>


    When I followed Lee JiHan to the kitchen, I found the table set with two bottles of wine and two sses. In addition, there was a bowl filled with fruit and cheese.


    ¡°It¡¯s the first day at my house, so in the spirit of weing you, I thought we could talk and celebrate with a drink.¡±


    Lee JiHan pulled out the chair for me, then went to sit at the opposite side. Now what is he up to...I sat down nervously with my guard up, when JiHan¡¯s phone rang. I nced at the phone and saw that it was JiKyung. JiHan checked the screen, but when he realized it was JiKyung, he looked disturbed then turned off the phone.


    ¡°Why aren¡¯t you answering?¡± I asked, seeing this unexpected action.


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing,¡± he answered apathetically. ¡°Let¡¯s just drink some wine.¡± JiHan opened the wine bottle.


    ¡°It looked like it was a call from JiKyung...¡±


    The moment I pointed that out, Lee JiHan stopped for a moment, but soon went back to pouring the wine into my ss.


    ¡°I don¡¯t have anything to say to my brother right now.¡±


    ¡°What does that mean?¡±


    While I sat confused, JiHan started to pour himself some wine.


    ¡°Right now, I need to talk to you,¡± he said forcefully. ¡°Right now, I need to deal with you.¡±


    It sounded as if I was a criminal needing to be dealt with. I balled up my fists and ced them on myp, waiting for the worst.


    ¡°Here, cheers.¡± JiHan calmly lifted his ss toward mine, but I was unable to ce my hand on the ss.


    What if he put something in the ss? What if there was something mixed in with the wine? With my suspicions on high alert, I regarded the ss warily. JiHan looked a bit hurt by my reaction.


    ¡°Why aren¡¯t you lifting your ss?¡± he asked. ¡°My hand is getting embarrassed.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I...¡± I turned my head and looked Lee JiHan in the eye.


    He put his ss closer to mine. His insistence on toasting our sses together made me sweat. Why is he so adamant? Did he really put something in there? My ever-increasing suspicions encouraged me to think outside the box.


    ¡°I...I¡¯ll drink that one.¡± I grabbed at the wine ss that Lee JiHan was holding, and handed mine to him. ¡°Your¡¯s just looks tastier.¡±


    JiHan thought through my excuse, but in the end his nodded. ¡°Do as you wish.¡±


    He lifted my wine ss without a second thought, and with it, he again he waited to clink sses. I wasforted by this action and slightly touched my ss with his. JiHan turned his head slightly and took a sip of wine, but all I did was watch him. I wanted to know if there was anything wrong with the wine he gave me. I will watch him until the very end.


    JiHan sipped his wine and nced slightly in my direction. Then, squeezing his eyes shut, he gulped down the rest of it in one shot. Thinking this action strange, I continued to watch him. When he put down his ss, he asked me a question.


    ¡°This proves it, right? That I didn¡¯t tamper with your drink.¡±


    I was lost for words at his keen observation.


    ¡°Now that you know it¡¯s safe, you can drink without worrying,¡± he said softly.


    He then went to pour the wine into his empty ss. Seeing that there was no imminent danger, I decided to trust him. But...Lee JiHan might have anticipated I switch the wine ss with him.


    I red at my original ss, trying to figure out if I should call his bluff. Suspicion feeding on suspicion, I rode the mobius strip of my doubt until it made me dizzy. Even though I hadn¡¯t drunk a single drop of alcohol, I still felt drunk from how much my head was spinning.


    Even so, I persisted. JiHan suddenly swooped in and took my ss.


    ¡°Seriously.¡± JiHan clicked his tongue and drank out of the ss.


    *Gulp, gulp.* He swallowed all its contents. As if to prove a point, he emptied both sses without a drop left in either.


    ¡°There. Now we¡¯ve confirmed this one also.¡± JiHan flipped the ss over and showed me, then he put it back down on the table. ¡°I didn¡¯t put anything weird in either of the sses. Would you stop suspecting me and just drink.¡±


    He poured more of the wine from the bottle.


    ¡°I think it¡¯s time now for you to trust me and drink,¡± he said and handed me a half-full ss.


    Cleared of all suspicions, I epted the ss as he filled his own. With forced smiles, we toasted, and I swallowed the tiniest of drops. JiHan opened his mouth to speak as he saw this.


    ¡°I want to hear this directly from you.¡±


    ¡°Hear what?¡±


    ¡°My brother, what do you like about him?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Well, there are different kinds of love, and I want to know what kind of love you two have. How did you start dating my brother, and why did you decide to marry him?¡±


    Not feeling badgered at all, I answered him as casually as he had asked. Finally! The time hade for me to tell the fabricated love story between Lee JiKyung and myself. Knowing that I would eventually have to tell such a story, I calmly, without getting frazzled, unraveled the scenario I had concocted in my head. I began to recite my story.


    ¡°JiKyung and I have been friends since we were very young. When I was in middle school, my father was running away from loan collectors, and so we had to move out to the countryside. I lost contact with JiKyung.¡±


    Up to this point, it was the truth, so it was easy to continue on.


    ¡°But four years ago, I got a lead part for the first time in my life. It was the first day of the show.¡±


    This too, was truth. Remembering that time, I folded my hands together and smiled. The y had failed miserably, and as a consequence, I hadn¡¯t been paid a dime, but still, that was the happiest moment of my life.


    ¡°JiKyung hade to see the y and recognized me.¡±


    Lost in my fantasy, I became drawn to the fiction I was writing.


    ¡°From that day, JiKyung came to see the y every day for a month. The y onlysted for a month, so he had seen every single show.¡±


    Although in actuality, JiKyung hade to see Lim DaeChul. But that y was my y also. Imagining that Lee JiKyung had reallye to see me, I erased Lim DaeChul from my mind.


    ¡°And every time he came, he brought me flowers.¡±


    This was just my hope.


    ¡°He told me he was enchanted by my acting, that he was a fan. He came to support me every day.¡±


    If there really had been a person like that, I would have immediately proposed. However hard I tried, the person who would make my story a reality had never shown up. Only in my dreams, and my fake story, did this person exist.


    ¡°That¡¯s why I like him. Back then, I really needed someone to tell me that I could keep going on this path. That it wasn¡¯t toote. That everything was going to work out.


    No, JiKyung had never said those things to me before. In middle school, thanks to my height and babyface, I never got a chance to y a mature role. However much I practiced my expression or my annunciation, the roles I was given were limited. I was always pushed to y an adolescent for the sole reason that I didn¡¯t look right for any other parts. As I grew older, my options became even more limited. The parts I yed never lined up with my actual age.


    The only reason I was able to get the lead in DaeChul sunbae¡¯s y was because the main character was a ten-year-old girl. At 19, this was probably myst chance at procuring a female lead in a y, and I¡¯d had no choice but to ept this fact.


    Of course, at one point, I had hoped that if this y did well, my life would improve, but the y¡¯s reviews were abysmal. That¡¯s my life. Just the fact that I¡¯d had an opportunity to hope was something. Feeling a pang of sadness at this memory, I quickly turned my head away from JiHan and swallowed the wine. I gulped it down with my eyes closed, and with my thirst fully quenched, I readjusted my expression and returned to the story.


    ¡°I started to like him from that point. And I realized that this was in fact, love.¡±


    JiHan was frowning at my love story. My beautifully woven story which had been fabricated with a mix of my hopes and dreams. He didn¡¯t just look like he disliked the story, but he actually looked like it was causing him physical pain listening to it.


    Well, I¡¯m sure hearing the lovey-dovey story of someone else¡¯s rtionship is not something most people find pleasurable. Plus, this was about his brother. If he liked hearing it, that wouldn¡¯t be JiHan.


    Not paying much attention to Lee JiHan¡¯s expression, I drank the remainder of my wine. Whether it was emotions or because it was expensive, the wine tasted sweet. I wondered how any wine could be this sweet and revelled in its deliciousness. I put my lips on the ss and took a long sip.


    ¡°So you¡¯re saying, my brother seduced you first.¡± His serious voice almost made me do a spit take.


    ¡°So he nned it all along...¡± JiHan muttered deep in thought.


    ¡°Excuse me? What did you say?¡± I asked.


    JiHan shook his head at my question, and looking heavily disturbed, he frowned with his arms crossed.


    ¡°So in conclusion, your love for my brother started because he was a person who could give you encouragement and recognition.¡±


    ¡°I guess...if you really have to put your finger on it, then probably.¡±


    ¡°Then you should have just be the president of his fan club, there¡¯s no need to marry him,¡± JiHan reprimanded.


    ¡°Oh, you know. There¡¯s no man on earth like JiKyung. He¡¯s good-looking, sweet, talented...¡± I counted JiKyung¡¯s positives on my fingers.


    JiHan burst out, ¡°I want to take them off.¡±


    ¡°What?!¡±


    Unlike the bbergasted me, JiHan responded in a calm and unemotional manner.


    ¡°Those rose-colored sses.¡±


    ¡°Oh...¡±


    Whew, I dodged a bullet there. Calming myself down, I gulped down the wine. Although, I would¡¯ve drunk it even if I didn¡¯t need to settle my nerves.


    ¡°My brother, on first nce, may look like the best husband material, but in reality, he¡¯s not a good partner for marriage,¡± JiHan confessed as I downed my wine.


    He had acted like his brother was some good looking Yoo Jae-Suk who was perfect in every way up until this point, but now he seemed to be bent on trying to persuade me of his faults. I stared at Lee JiHan, feeling something was off and untrustworthy, but he took the empty ss from my hand and poured me a new ss of wine.


    ¡°There are a lot of people who regret it after they get married,¡± he continued.


    ¡°I know. There are a lot of people like that,¡± I said.


    ¡°Don¡¯t end up like one of those people and let¡¯s give this up, this wedding,¡± JiHan said and handed me the half-filled wine ss.


    ¡°I lived for many years watching a mother who severely regretted getting married. From the time my mother got divorced when I was in elementary school, to the time of her death, I watched her live in regret. I learned plenty from that experience. You should not go into marriage thinking, ¡®I will live happily ever after with this person.''¡±


    Thinking of my mother made me crave alcohol even more.


    ¡°Then what should you be thinking going into marriage?¡± asked JiHan.


    *Gulp.* I swallowed the rest of the wine and made eye-contact with him as I exined my logic.


    ¡°If I do end up divorcing this person, then I won¡¯t have regrets.¡±


    It was the truth. I didn¡¯t believe there was a man that could forever and always be faithful and loving to his wife. There may be a man that loves many women, including his wife, but there was no man in my books that could, from beginning to end, love one woman.


    My version of marriage always carried the real possibility of divorce. In truth, I wanted to marry a man that even in divorce, I would not regret. Someone who I would dream of being the wife of, even if it was just for one day. I wanted to marry someone I loved that much. That was my real fantasy of a marriage, but with my luck, that kind of man did not exist.


    However, there was a man I could choose that I would not regret divorcing for apletely different reason.


    ¡°JiKyung is that kind of person to me. Even if we were to get divorced, I would have no regrets.¡±


    My eyes filled with tears as I looked at JiHan and made a heart over my head. Yes, if JiKyung was my husband, I would have no regrets. I would have my money from the contract and pay. With that money, I could build a theater like I have always wanted. Why would I regret this marriage? Even in divorce, I¡¯ll have no pain and a lot of money.


    Lee JiHan breathed out deeply as if his insides were on fire and finished the wine in one go. Staring at the heart above my head, he red at me.


    ¡°I really don¡¯t like looking at that, so could you put down your hand,¡± he warned.


    ¡°Stop trying to scare me,¡± I said, but I lowered my arms and pulled the wine towards me.


    JiHan grabbed my wrist to stop me. ¡°If you pour wine like that, it won¡¯t taste right.¡±


    With one hand holding my wrist and the other taking the bottle from me, he poured the wine into my empty ss. Now that I was paying attention, I realized that JiHan was slightly twisting the bottle as he poured it.


    ¡°Oh...you look like some sort of expert.¡±


    ¡°Anyways, don¡¯t be so naive. I¡¯m not trying to scare you, I¡¯m just trying to give you some advice. Some real-life advice. For your sake,¡± JiHan said sharply while handing me back my ss.


    I received the ss with two hands and chugged it. I ced the empty ss back on the table. I smiled,nguishing in the sweet buzz I was enjoying.


    ¡°I¡¯m not naive. I¡¯ve known JiKyung for ages. There isn¡¯t anything left to know.¡±


    ¡°You may believe you know, but what you see is not necessarily all there is,¡± JiHan insisted.


    ¡°You¡¯re trying to scare me off again!¡± My voice came out louder than I expected.


    I pushed the empty ss toward JiHan again. ¡°Stop trying to scare me, and just give me some more alcohol.¡±


    He looked deeply troubled as he poured me another ss. A few momentster, JiHan replied back in a voice as troubled as his expression.


    ¡°I am just asking this as a precaution, but have you slept with my brother?¡±

 Chapter 19

    <h4>Chapter 19</h4>


    ¡°What?!¡±


    ¡°I know you¡¯re not married yet, so I trust you haven¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°Uh. I don¡¯t... what?!¡± My face burned red as if a fire had been lit underneath me. ¡°Are you insane? How could you ask such a thing?¡±


    I was so surprised and taken aback that I inhaled the wine as if it was a ss of ice water. JiHan¡¯s expression didn¡¯t change one bit, and he stared at me in all seriousness.


    ¡°You haven¡¯t yet, have you?¡±


    ¡°No, well, no. But why not? We¡¯re both old enough.¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t. You¡¯re not even married yet.¡±


    ¡°What does that have to do with marriage? You do it when you want to.¡±


    JiHan gawked at me with an expression that said what kind of girl is this?


    ¡°Look here. That should only be done between married couples,¡± he said sternly.


    ¡°That¡¯s only in the olden days when you met your partner without even seeing their face, and you spent your first night together!¡±


    ¡°So are you saying you have?!¡± JiHan questioned me with rounded eyes.


    ¡°Oh! I didn¡¯t! I didn¡¯t!¡± I fanned my face as I denied the fact hotly.


    I was getting dizzy from the rising heat in my face, but JiHan seemed to have some heat left to spare, as he continued to say even more inappropriate things.


    ¡°Then do it.¡±


    ¡°What?!¡±


    ¡°You should see if you¡¯re sexuallypatible with my brother before you get married.¡±


    ¡°You just said that should only be done between married couples!¡±


    ¡°And you said that¡¯s only how the older generation thinks. So with your 21st century mind, rethink the marriage after you¡¯ve had sex together.¡±


    Wow. How could you say that so piously and logically! Am I the only one that¡¯s hot?! Am I the only one embarrassed? Not only was I extremely hot around the cor, I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I was so furious that I reflexively lifted the ss to my lips. Regrettably, the wine ss was empty.


    ¡°Alcohol! Give me more alcohol!¡± I pushed the ss in front of JiHan, unafraid.


    Without any criticism, JiHan tipped the wine bottle over my ss. Strangely, the ss did not fill. Not a single drop.


    ¡°There seems to be no more wine,¡± JiHan said as he casually took away the wine bottle.


    ¡°There¡¯s no more? Why?¡±


    Unable to believe it, I grabbed the bottle with both my hands. I pulled the bottle away forcefully and ced it in front of my eyes, but they were getting heavy, and the bottle disappeared from view as my vision went ck.


    ¡°It¡¯s gone?¡± The wine bottle suddenly reappeared in front of the devastated me. ¡°Huh? It¡¯s here! Here!¡±


    With a wide grin, I tipped the wine bottle over my empty ss, but nothing flowed out of it.


    ¡°Huh? There¡¯s no more...¡± My eyes started to water. ¡°Why...why isn¡¯t it here? Why isn¡¯t there any?¡±


    ¡°Hey. Are you drunk?¡± I could hear Lee JiHan¡¯s voice from somewhere, but the sudden flow of tears blocked my vision. Unable to see anything, I started to cry uncontrobly.


    ***


    Lee JiHan


    Like an open faucet, Na AhJung¡¯s tears flowed freely.


    ¡°Alcohol...alcohol...¡± She cried like a child looking for her mother.


    I froze at the sudden tear fest but got up as I realized how drunk this girl was.


    ¡°You¡¯re drunk so let¡¯s get you to your room so you can sleep.¡±


    When I went to support her, AhJung flung her arm away from me. She then spun 180 degrees and wrapped her arms and legs around the chair tightly. Like a cicada attached to a tree, she remained entwined in the chair and started to bawl.


    ¡°Alcohol...alcohol!¡± she cried, like a chirping cricket.


    ¡°There¡¯s no alcohol,¡± I told her.


    ¡°Why? Why isn¡¯t there anymore?¡± AhJung asked with a look of betrayal.


    She looked at me as if I had hidden it away from her so she couldn¡¯t have it.


    ¡°Why are you asking me that? You drank everything. You drank the wine as if it was an oasis. If you drink it like that of course it will dry up,¡± I said.


    ¡°Ah, I want alcohol...!¡±


    The more I tried to get her to think rationally, the more AhJung cried, frowning at the words she did not want to hear. I grabbed her shoulder and tried to reason with her.


    ¡°Na AhJung, there is no more alcohol now. Let¡¯s drink tomorrow. Tomorrow. Let¡¯s just sleep tonight.¡±


    ¡°Alcohol, alcohol, alcohol, alcohol!¡±


    ¡°If you sleep now, I will give it to you tomorrow. More damn alcohol.¡±


    I tightened the grip on AhJung¡¯s shoulder, and I tried to remove her from the chair, but she shook her head hard and held on tighter, not letting go. I used all the strength I could muster, but AhJung refused to get out of the chair. Even in this instant, she continued to cry.


    I shook my head in defeat. ¡°What are you, a seven year old? Ah I give up. I don¡¯t care whether you cry here or sleep here. I¡¯m going to my room to sleep. Do whatever you want.¡±


    I swept past her coldly, but when I did, she didn¡¯t make a sound. After a few steps, I felt that something was strange and turned back. AhJung hung limply on the chair like a damp pile ofundry. In that state, huge tears dripped onto the floor.


    ¡°That leaking faucet...¡± I muttered. ¡°If I leave her like that, she will be shedding tears like a faucet all night.¡± I clucked my tongue and frowned at her, displeased and annoyingly worried about her.


    Ah, I don¡¯t know. If I just leave her, she¡¯ll be like that all night. I don¡¯t care. Even as I was contemting walking away, I returned to AhJung. Still uncertain, I grabbed the chair that she was sitting on.


    ¡°I really don¡¯t get it,¡± I muttered quietly as I lifted up the chair.


    ***


    When we got to her room, I put both Na AhJung and the chair in the bed. Even in her bed, she was still hugging the chair and would noty down. Tears were still streaming down her face, and that made me worry.


    I really don¡¯t know what to do. What do I have to do to make it stop? I frowned while I put a pillow under her head. Why is she hugging that chair instead of the teddy bear I bought her? I looked around, trying to spot the teddy bear. I wanted to swap the bear for the chair, but the stuffed animal was neither on the bed nor the floor.


    It has to be in the room somewhere. I wondered where she had put it and went to search her closet. Then, AhJung¡¯s phone started to ring. Although she was still crying with her eyes closed, her arm found the phone and grabbed it. She put the phone to her ear.


    I watched, frozen. I could hear someone¡¯s voice over the phone. A few momentster, AhJung spoke urgently into the phone.


    ¡°JiKyung, there is no alcohol!¡± she bawled. ¡°Ahhh! Waah! I have no alcohol!¡±


    If someone else had seen her, they would have thought she was being ostracized. How can she cry so sorrowfully? I swiftly approached her and took the phone away. My initial n had been to not talk to my brother, but instead, I answered the phone.


    ¡°Hello? It¡¯s me.¡±


    This girl is drunk. Before I could tell him that I didn¡¯t bother her, and this was just some drunken tantrum, my brother confirmed his own suspicions.


    [JiHan, did you let AhJung drink?]


    ¡°How did you know?¡± I asked him, taken aback.


    [AhJung always cries for alcohol when she¡¯s drunk. Just like this.]


    My brother answered me as if this waspletely normal. AhJung didn¡¯t even realize that I had taken the phone from her and was talking to herself with her fist next to her ear.


    ¡°I have no alcohol...alcohol...¡±


    Watching her crying made me feel frustrated and angry.


    ¡°You¡¯re pathetic sober, but you¡¯re even more pathetic drunk. Why doesn¡¯t alcohol make you any better? You should be yelling at me or fooling around.¡±


    [It¡¯s because she¡¯s been through a lot.] My brother said through the phone. [She had to watch how she acted at her stepmother¡¯s house, she was pushed around by her step-siblings, and her father was just the stepmother¡¯s husband. She has had the worst luck, so she¡¯s had no choice but to just suck it up and live in such a household. I¡¯m not sure if that¡¯s the reason, but whenever she gets drunk, all she does is cry that she doesn¡¯t have her own alcohol. She just wants to have something everyone else does.]


    As my brother exined the situation, AhJung cried sorrowfully in front of me.


    ¡°Why? Why don¡¯t I have it?¡± she asked.


    Hearing that, I could no longer stand it, so I turned my head away from her. I started to walk away, but leaving her there like that made me feel worse.


    ¡°Shit,¡± I said under my breath.


    I bit my lower lip. Why does this keep bothering my conscience? Why does this pain me? Unable to leave her in her miserable state, I turned back AhJung.


    ¡°What should I do with this girl?¡± I asked my brother.


    [What?]


    ¡°What do I have to do to make her stop crying?¡±


    Forgetting myplicated feelings towards my brother, I asked for his advice thinking only of the girl sitting in front of me. JiKyung grew quiet at my question but soon answered.


    [Give her what she wants. Until she gets more drunk.]

 Chapter 20

    <h4>Chapter 20</h4>


    After hastily running out of the apartment, I went to the closest convenience store and bought a lot of alcohol. Soju, beer, makuli. I wanted to include the expensive wine from before also but the convenience store didn¡¯t have that sort of thing, and I couldn¡¯t go anywhere farther just to buy wine because while I was gone, AhJung would still be crying alone. So, I bought whatever variety was avable at the convenience store and ran back to the apartment.


    As I reentered AhJung¡¯s room, I found her still crying in the same position, lying on her bed and hugging a chair. I walked toward her and sat at the corner of the bed, cing my hand on her shoulder.


    ¡°I¡¯ve brought more alcohol,¡± I said.


    I tried to help her sit up gently, but at my words, AhJung shot up like she had been burned.


    ¡°Alcohol?¡± With her eyes swollen so much that she couldn¡¯t even open them properly, AhJung turned her body toward me.


    I first stuck a straw in the pack of soju and handed it to her as it looked to be the easiest to drink. Na AhJung grabbed it with both hands and put the straw in her mouth. She closed her eyes and took a long drink.


    After it cleared her throat, AhJung¡¯s lips broke into a huge smile. Her expression looked as if she had achieved her dearest wish, and it made me feel aplished. The nervous and high alert she¡¯d been in since she¡¯d been suspicious of my nice behavior was no longer there. It would have been nice if she¡¯d had this sort of response all day.


    A bit disappointed, I watched AhJung. With her eyes still closed and sucking on the straw, she continued to smile happily.


    How much can this girl drink? Once she had emptied the pack of soju, AhJung looked like she was on the verge of tears again.


    ¡°There¡¯s...no more?¡± Her eyes again started to sparkle with tears.


    I quickly grabbed a can of beer from the bag and gave it to AhJung.


    ¡°There¡¯s more, there¡¯s more,¡± I assured her.


    Before I could even open the can for her, AhJung grabbed it out of my hand. With her mouth at its rim, she knocked her head back. There was no beering out, but she continued to drink. She sucked on the rim of the can and swallowed at nothing.


    Is it okay for me to let her continue like this? She seems to be out of it... While I was contemting, AhJung tipped the beer can over her head and shook it as if she had just finished the whole thing. When not a single drop of beer fell, she looked disappointed and started to whimper.


    ¡°There¡¯s no more...¡±


    Holding a full can of unopened beer and saying there¡¯s no more. At least before she had been able to tell if there was alcohol or not, but now she was so drunk, she couldn¡¯t even figure that out.


    ¡°You would think after drinking this much, she would fall asleep,¡± I mumbled to myself.


    Na AhJung started to cry again. ¡°Alcohol...alllllcooooohollllll...¡±


    Seeing her sorrowful face made me feel ufortable again. It felt like my insides were crumpled like AhJung¡¯s face.


    ¡°Ah, whatever,¡± I muttered and dumped the entire contents of the bag in front of her. ¡°Here, it¡¯s alcohol. There¡¯s enough to drink until you die. Have it all.¡±


    Seeing the mountain of alcoholid out in front of her, AhJung¡¯s tears stopped. Then she grabbed the alcohol and hugged it.


    ¡°Alcohol! It¡¯s alcohol! Look at the alcohol!¡± She hugged the stack of alcohol like a mother embracing a newborn child. ¡°I¡¯m going to sleep with it in my arms.¡±


    Announcing a statement that was music to my ears, she crawled onto the bed andid down. With her eyes closed, she finally became quiet, hugging not the teddy bear I¡¯d bought her but the stack of alcohol.


    I watched AhJung¡¯s face for a long time. It was smeared with tears, but she was smiling like she had everything in the world.


    How can you have this expression for a stack of alcohol? Like this is something special. Thinking that this whole thing was ridiculous, I realized she had fallen asleep. I was relieved to realize that I too could finally go to sleep.


    Contrary to my ns, however, my gaze would not separate from Na AhJung¡¯s face. That face that had the slowly drying tears smeared all over it, its saltiness emanating toward my nostrils.


    Dirty. It¡¯s not like body fluid is some sort of mask pack. Her tear-filled face was drying thickly on her skin. How can you sleep with that face? Dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty. Unable to stand it any longer, I got up from the bed. I ran to the bathroom to grab the water tissue, foam cleanser, and a bucket of water.


    ***


    Na AhJung


    I woke up to the sound of knocking. As the fog of sleep cleared, the memories ofst night came back to me like a hurricane.


    ¡°Ah!¡± I stifled the scream with my hand. Oh, what do I do! What do I do?!


    I shook as I remembered the horrific things I had done in my drunken state.


    ¡°I know you¡¯re awake.¡±


    I froze as I heard Lee JiHan¡¯s voiceing through the door.


    ¡°If you didn¡¯t get alcohol poisoning, you better walk yourself out here.¡±


    What if I did get alcohol poisoning? Then do I not have to go out? Should I pretend I¡¯m sick? No, I should pretend I¡¯m dead. Just die! Die! I pulled at my hair in regret. From outside, I heard the scariest words.


    ¡°Are you going to make me go in there and lift you out?¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I got up as if whipped.


    If I can¡¯t avoid it, then I have to meet it head-on before it gets worse. It¡¯s better to take the blow sooner rather thanter. I ran out of the room. I¡¯d thought that the moment I opened the door, I would be cursed into oblivion, but when I opened the door, JiHan, unexpectedly, only said one thing.


    ¡°There¡¯s soup on the table, so let¡¯s go there.¡± He then turned and headed for the kitchen.


    ¡°Uh, okay.¡± Not asking for any exnation, I followed him to the table like a loyal soldier.


    There really was soup waiting for us at the table.


    ¡°Wow...¡± I sat in a chair in awe, and JiHan sat opposite me.


    I quickly got my act together, put my two hands together and pleaded for forgiveness.


    ¡°Oh, I¡¯m so sorry about yesterday. I do some stupid things when I¡¯m drunk. I cry and ask for more drinks...I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    JiHan red at me as I made my apology. ¡°Is that all you want to say to me?¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, is that all.¡±


    ¡°Of course. What more could I say...even with ten mouths I wouldn¡¯t have anything to say,¡± I answered in a voice barely above a whisper, keeping my head down the whole time.


    ¡°Howe you aren¡¯t thanking me?¡± JiHan asked as if he was scolding me.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I took you to your bed and bought you more alcohol. Why aren¡¯t you thanking me?¡±


    ¡°Did you?¡± My eyes widened, I didn¡¯t remember any of that.


    JiHan red at me. ¡°You don¡¯t remember?¡±


    ¡°I...I remember crying...but after that...¡± I trailed off.


    ¡°How could you not remember that?!¡± JiHan mmed his palm against the table. ¡°Look here, do you know how good I was to you! How does it make sense that you don¡¯t know that, huh?!¡±


    I froze, unable to speak, and listened.


    ¡°Iid you on your bed and found alcohol and bought it for you. Me! I even washed your dirty face for you.¡±


    ¡°You washed my face?¡±


    ¡°You think that¡¯s all? I even put toner, eye cream, essence, moisturizer, and vitamin cream for you step by step. Me, me!¡± He pointed at himself and emphasized the ¡®me¡¯ part.


    ¡°Really? Why?¡± I asked, extremely surprised.


    JiHan replied with a disappointed look. ¡°I obviously didn¡¯t do it so I wouldn¡¯t even get one ounce of thanks.¡±


    ¡°Oh, then, thanks. I didn¡¯t know you would be so kind to me...¡±


    I felt a bit disoriented, and I touched my face with my hands. I felt the unusually smooth and supple skin. It was definitely not the skin of someone that fell asleep without washing her face. If that is the case, what Lee JiHan is saying is true...but why? Why would he be nice to me? Like yesterday. No, even more so than yesterday. His kindness gave me goosebumps.


    ¡°Is that the face of someone who is thankful? You have the look of someone scared and suspicious.¡± JiHan frowned as he said this.


    I tried to smile in response. ¡°No, of course not. I¡¯m just so grateful, that¡¯s why my expression is like this.¡±


    ¡°When you were drunk yesterday, your expression wasn¡¯t like that.


    ¡°That¡¯s because I was drunk. I¡¯m not like that normally.¡±


    ¡°Then keep acting like you normally don¡¯t, like you¡¯re drunk.¡±


    ¡°How did I act when I was drunk?¡±


    ¡°If I was nice to you, youughed.¡±


    ¡°Oh, did I?¡±


    I put in more of an effort to raise the corners of my mouth, but Lee JiHan shook his head in scorn.


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t a forced smile like that.¡±


    This time I smiled as big as I could so that my eyes were practically closed. JiHan sighed heavily at this.


    ¡°Forget it. It must be my greed to want this. I¡¯ve only been nice to you for a week. I can¡¯t expect you to lower your guard and like me.¡±


    At his defeated voice, my smile dropped off of my face in confusion. JiHan looked into my eyes.


    ¡°I guess, if I continue to be good to you, then I will see that expression again. When you¡¯re not drunk,¡± he said.


    It sounds like he is going to be even nicer to me than he was yesterday! Not knowing the reason, I scratched my head, trying to bring back my memories. How was my expression when I was drunk? Why is he wanting to see that expression even if he has to be nice to me?


    JiHan lifted his spoon and changed the subject. ¡°Eat it before it gets cold.¡±


    ¡°Oh, okay!¡± Still used to abiding strictly by his rules, I answered swiftly and lifted the spoon.


    I then swallowed a spoonful of soup. Unable to control it, I closed my eyes in satisfaction. I opened my eyes to say all the wonderful things that had just popped into my head when I saw JiHan¡¯s face smiling at me. I could have never imagined it, but it was a kind and soft smile.


    Seeing that face made my mind draw a nk, and all thements I had wanted to say disappeared. JiHan¡¯s gaze slowly made its way to his bowl, and he started to eat.


    ¡°What are you going to do today?¡± he asked as if this was perfectly normal.


    I hurriedly snapped out of my trance. ¡°To...today? Today I have to go house hunting,¡± I answered.


    He shook his head as if to say that was the wrong answer. ¡°You should not be looking for houses. We need to go see a fortune teller.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll have the assistant bring over a list of ces in a little while, so we can go tell our fortune!¡±


    ¡°Why do you want to see a fortune teller all of a sudden?¡±


    ¡°We have to see yourpatibility with my brother, to see if you should really go through with this marriage,¡± JiHan said matter-of-factly.


    ¡°I don¡¯t believe in that kind of thing.¡±


    ¡°Do you think our ancestors checked these things for no reason? Even kings made decisions after confirming theirpatibility. Are you saying you are above kings? Are you looking down on King SeJong?¡± JiHan said scornfully.


    I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re bringing up an ancient king for this...


    I realized that I had no way to beat his persuasiveness even if I had ten mouths, so I nodded my head in defeat.


    ¡°No. Of course not. Now that I think about it, checking one¡¯spatibility is a pivotal requirement. Let¡¯s go check it out.¡± I showed him my fists of determination and nodded in agreement.

 Chapter 21

    <h4>Chapter 21</h4>


    Na AhJung


    As I sat next to Lee Jihan in the fortune teller¡¯s room, I was entranced, not by the fortune teller woman in front of me, but by the altar behind her. It was filled with brightly colored statues andrge candles.


    Enchanted by the unfamiliar sights, the fortune teller finally caught my attention by snapping shut her previously open fan.


    ¡°Young woman, if you marry this man, you will die.¡±


    This random death announcement made my heart drop with a thud.


    ¡°Me?¡± I asked seriously, grasping tightly at my chest, fearful that my heart might actually fall out.


    ¡°Yes. If you marry this man, you won¡¯t live to your potential,¡± said the fortune teller.


    ¡°Why?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Because you, my dear, are a water sign,¡± replied the fortune teller.


    ¡°Oh! You¡¯re right. People do see me as a water sign. Oh, you are really amazing!¡± I said, surprised.


    JiHan, who had been sitting next to me,ughed at my reaction but hisughter was not my concern. I gazed hopefully at the fortune teller with my hands folded in anticipation. She started to write swiftly on a piece of paper as she continued to exin.


    ¡°The signs arergely separated into five elements. Water, fire, wood, earth, and gold. Among these you are water, and not ocean water butke water. Your surroundings arepletely blocked. Because you are standing water, you aren¡¯t able to break out of your rut.¡±


    ¡°Oh wow. Am I really like that?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Now, what is water¡¯splete opposite? It is the wood sign because trees drink the water. This man you want to marry is a wood sign, and he is surrounded by many others like him,¡± the fortune teller said, underlining JiKyung¡¯s name several times.


    ¡°What do you mean there are a lot like him?¡± I asked.


    ¡°The wood sign is usually associated with luck in business and men. This man¡¯s fortune includes either luck when ites to work, or he has a lot of men...¡±


    This amazing woman can even deduce that?! My breath stopped as I feared that the word ¡®gay¡¯ wouldle out of her mouth, but JiHan interrupted.


    ¡°If a business man is destined to have good luck in work, then it makes sense that there will be a lot of men around him.¡±


    ¡°Well, yes that is true.¡± Fortunately, the fortune teller nodded at hisment, then reverted back to talking about me. ¡°Anyways, this man is a wood sign. He is water¡¯splete opposite, a tree, and all around him, he is jam packed with other numerous trees. If you had been the Pacific Ocean, then it wouldn¡¯t matter if you were surrounded by a hundred trees, but what are you? You are the water from ake. This is stagnant water, that can be stolen by the trees. If it ispletely stolen, you will dry up and die.¡±


    I suddenly felt parched and swallowed dryly. ¡°It...it can¡¯t be.¡± I meekly tried to deny it, But Lee JiHan nodded his head.


    ¡°Of course. I knew it!¡± he said with a pleased expression on his face.


    The moment I saw this, I started getting suspicious. Is this...a scam? Did he bring me here to intentionally make me think that mypatibility with JiKyung is bad? I scanned JiHan up and down suspiciously, then turned back to the fortune teller.


    ¡°Either way, I¡¯m still going to go through with this marriage,¡± I said as carefree as I could. ¡°Because without this man, I will die anyway. If I¡¯ll die either way, I¡¯ll just have to ept that my life will be cut short.¡±


    Like a girl who had her heart set on taking a bullet for the man she loved, I fabricated an expression of love-filled determination and shot the look at JiHan in hopes of persuading him. Treating my expression as if it was cancerous, JiHan shot back a look of equal determination which vowed to get me away from his brother.


    The fortune teller¡¯s fan interrupted our staring match. Reflexively, I looked at the fortune teller. As ours eyes met, the fortune teller began to scold me.


    ¡°Young woman, why are you thinking of dying? You should live and meet a better man.¡±


    ¡°No. To me, this man is the best man in the world,¡± I insisted.


    ¡°What are you talking about? This man is not for you. If you want to live a better life, you need to meet a man of gold. Gold.¡±


    ¡°Gold?¡± I asked.


    ¡°With gold, isn¡¯t it possible to make a faucet or an ax? And you are in need of those two things. You need the faucet to control the flow of your stagnant water and an ax to cut down the trees that suck you dry. So if you want to live, you have to find a man like gold.¡±


    ¡°Seriously?¡± I asked. ¡°It¡¯s not like it¡¯s real gold. You want me to meet a man like gold? At least if it was actual gold, I could go to the jewelry shop and meet him. Where am I supposed to meet such a man? Even trying to figure out where to start will be a pain. What, am I supposed to meet a guy with gold hanging all over his neck?¡±


    ¡°He exists,¡± insisted the fortune teller. ¡°To others, he¡¯s sharp like an ax, but to his wife and his family, he is like a faucet that guides them. General SuYang was like that, you need to find a man like that.¡±


    General Suyang...you mean that guy that killed his nephew and became king? He started a blood bath!¡±


    A chill ran down my spine and my throat had be so dry from shock that I couldn¡¯t swallow.


    ¡°Your future holds such a man. Just wait a little bit,¡± she advised me.


    ¡°No, I¡¯m not going to wait,¡± I said, and shook my head vigorously in fear.


    * * *


    After we left the fortune teller¡¯s ce, I stared down at the talisman the fortune teller had forced into my hand, depressed. Supposedly, I didn¡¯t feel like a stranger to her. Supposedly, her heart went out to me, and so she gave this talisman to me for free. It was meant to bring me luck, but somehow it only made me feel anxious. Next to me, JiHan unlocked the door with his car remote.


    ¡°You know if you carry that out in the open like that, its effects will be hindered. Hurry up and put it back in your bag,¡± he said.


    At JiHan¡¯s nagging, I put the talisman into my bag as my lips quivered. He walked a couple of steps in front of me, and opened the passenger side car door so I could get in.


    ¡°Get in,¡± he said.


    Hesitantly, I sat down in the passenger seat as JiHan closed the door and walked to the driver¡¯s side. He soon opened the door on his side and sat down.


    ¡°Are you sure this is fair y?¡± Getting the feeling that I was being yed, I got up the courage to confront him.


    ¡°What does that mean?¡±


    ¡°You were already familiar with that ce. If you had gone before me and told them to tell me that ourpatibility was bad, then that¡¯s not fair y.¡±


    ¡°If that was the case, it wouldn¡¯t be fair y,¡± he echoed.


    ¡°Are you saying you didn¡¯t?¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°Can you prove that you didn¡¯t?¡±


    ¡°How could I prove that? If I did something, there would be evidence, but what sort of evidence would there be if I didn¡¯t do it?¡± asked JiHan.


    ¡°Well...that¡¯s true,¡± I admitted.


    I sat looking forward glumly with my lips sticking out like a duck. Beside me, Jihan started the car and started driving. As the car swerved away from the fortune teller¡¯s and headed home, a brilliant idea struck me.


    ¡°Oh! Let¡¯s try another fortune teller ce. Somewhere we both have not been to. Then the result may be more objective.¡±


    At my words, JiHan¡¯s eyes crinkled in distaste and he red at me. I got him! You aren¡¯t confident going to another ce huh? Don¡¯t want to?


    Confident in my instincts, I added, ¡°Do you not want to? I guess...if we go to a ce you don¡¯t know then you might be at a disadvantage...so should we go?¡±


    Lee JiHan smirked and turned his head toward the street and answered nonchntly.


    ¡°We¡¯ll do that then. Two people¡¯spatibility will be the same wherever we go anyways. This time you choose which ce you want to go.¡±


    For some reason, he was overflowing with confidence, as if the result was obvious and there was not a single doubt in his head that he would be proved wrong.


    * * *


    I changed the ying field entirely and chose to go to a tarot ce on the street. Since it was a different style of fortune telling, I had high hopes that the results would prove to be better.


    Contrary to my expectations, the tarot reader examined the card I had chosen and shattered my hopes.


    ¡°This marriage doesn¡¯t look like it will work,¡± she said.


    ¡°Why? Ourpatibility is that bad?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not necessarily thepatibility, it¡¯s just that there is another man who is meant to be your husband.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t get married, wait a little longer.¡±


    ¡°No way, that doesn¡¯t make sense. Next month my fianc¨¦ ising back, and two weeks after that is my wedding. How can I just drop everything and wait indefinitely? I won¡¯t even know when he¡¯ll show up.¡±


    ¡°Hmm...¡± The tarot reader touched his chin as if something was bothering him. Then he chose a couple tarot cards on his own and checked them. After considering the cards for a long time, he opened his mouth.


    ¡°There¡¯s only of couple days left.¡±


    ¡°For what?¡±


    ¡°Your real husband. He will show up in a couple of days.¡±


    After the tarot reader¡¯s strange prediction, I realized this had been a mistake. Ugh...what a waste of money. This ce is a sham.


    * * *


    Lee JiHan started his car smugly.


    ¡°Both ces had the same result,¡± he said with satisfaction. ¡°So why don¡¯t you just give up on this wedding?¡±


    ¡°What? No way! They are all wrong! This doesn¡¯t count. It doesn¡¯t count!¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll find out whether it¡¯s right or wrong in a couple of days. Since supposedly, your real husband is set to show up then.¡±


    ¡°Is a husband some sort of package, that he will be delivered to me in a couple of days?¡±


    JiHanughed at myment. I felt like I had seen himugh more today than I had for thest month. Of course, this was excluding his constant sneering or smirking. But why was it that my heart seemed to flutter a little every time I saw him smile...


    ¡°Just think of it like a package, and wait. I¡¯ll go find him for you.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll find the guy that you will like more than my brother. I¡¯ll go find him,¡± JiHan said without an ounce of doubt. It was as if he¡¯d really believed every single word of the fortune.


    ¡°And why should I believe that?¡± I said skeptically.


    ¡°I¡¯m just saying, be open to the possibility. It could happen.¡±


    ¡°No, no. Why do you even go to these ces? Neither your mother nor JiKyung believe in this stuff.¡±


    Lee JiHan, concentrating on the road in front of him.


    ¡°Because it¡¯s fun,¡± he answered casually.


    It was not a response I had expected, so I was unable toe up with a retort.


    ¡°Because it¡¯s fun? This? This is fun?¡±


    ¡°You probably wouldn¡¯t understand because your future¡¯s not all that great, but my luck is phenomenal. Anytime I go to see my fortune, they all tell me how pristine it is, like the first snow of December. I was born with a golden spoon in my mouth, riding a golden carriage...¡±


    He suddenly stopped talking and his expression became strangely dark.


    ¡°Riding a golden carriage and what?¡±


    The moment I asked, he became very serious and shook his head.


    ¡°Anyways, my fortune is good no matter whom I ask. So from time to time, it¡¯s fun to go hear about it.¡±


    So basically, he goes to these ces because he knows they will tell him nothing but good things? Psh. How great does your fortune have to be to end up acting like that? Well, it¡¯s not like it¡¯s hard to imagine. Even his birth is different from mine.

 Chapter 22

    <h4>Chapter 22</h4>


    ¡°Actually, how is it that you have never had your fortune read before in your life?¡± Lee JiHan asked. ¡°Most people usually go see a fortune teller at least once in their life, especially when things don¡¯t seem to be going right.¡±


    ¡°Because it seems like a waste of money.¡±


    Lee JiHan grew quiet at my statement. He stole a nce at me and drove on with a sad look on his face. Maybe I shouldn¡¯t have answered so honestly. A woman who was short on luck and money seemed to be a poor choice for the wife of his beloved brother. His reaction toward me seemed to have surpassed anger and evolved into sadness.


    I was afraid his sadness would revert back to the insane version of Lee JiHan from a month ago and I clutched nervously at my seatbelt, but upon hearing this, JiHan answered in apletely normal way.


    ¡°I hope the man will have as much money as my brother.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Your real husband.¡± A man that has lots of money like my brother but will love you a lot more. I hope he shows up soon.¡±


    He said this like a prayer. His sudden pious manner scared me out of my wits and I started to tear up. What was he suddenly acting like he was actually hoping for my happiness? He would never wish for my happiness. But why did it sound like it was sincere?


    Although I was still scared of him, I gripped the seat belt harder and got up the courage to speak.


    ¡°No. JiKyung is enough for me. If I have him, I have no further expectations...¡±


    ¡°What do you look for in a guy? Physically speaking?¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Does he have to look simr to my brother?¡±


    In a very forward manner, JiHan started interrogating me about my ideal type of man.


    ¡°A healthy tan, deep set eyes, a gentle face. Like...the Mediterranean Sea?¡± he began listing characteristics.


    Like the Mediterranean Sea. The description reminded me of JiKyung.


    If Lee JiKyung was the Mediterranean Sea then JiHan was the Okhotsk Sea, with floating ice, and fierce winds.


    JiHan had a pale milky skin tone, with sharp eyes, and a no nonsense attitude about his face. Ipared the two drastically different brothers in my head. For a moment, I felt like I was in a trance. I couldn¡¯t believe I could see such a face outside a television screen.


    ¡°Tell me. What kind of face do you like?¡± JiHan demanded.


    ¡°The Okhotsk Sea...¡± I answered obliviously, still in a daze from my imagination.


    ¡°The Okhotsk Sea?¡± Lee JiHan turned to look at me upon hearing my strange answer. ¡°What does a face like the Okhotsk Sea look like?¡±


    ¡°Oh, uh, what I meant is...¡± Finding my sanity a bit toote, I wracked my brain to make sense of what I had said. Within that time, JiHan had slowed to a stop at a red light. He turned his head towards me. I was still beating around the bush until I could find an adequate answer.


    ¡°What I meant was that, I would love JiKyung even if he didn¡¯t look like the Mediterrean Sea and was theplete opposite, like the Okhotsk Sea. I find what¡¯s inside is more important than what is on the outside.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s a relief. I didn¡¯t feel confident that I could find a man that would have a lot of money and is good looking.¡±


    ¡°I told you, you don¡¯t have to go looking for him.¡± I opened my eyes wide to gain myposure. ¡°I¡¯ve already found my husband. And no matter who shows upter in my life, my heart will not change. Because there is no man in this world that¡¯s better than JiKyung.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll make you change your mind.¡± JiHan announced confidently, as he looked straight into my eyes.


    He didn¡¯tugh or flinch, but was serious and steady. His eyes seemed to promise me that he would make sure that happened.


    ¡°I...¡± For a moment, I was at a loss for words and breath.


    In silence, I numbly watched Lee JiHan, but he checked for oing cars, then returned his attention to the front and started to drive again. Gradually, he pressed on the elerator and passed the green light.


    It might have been due to the increasing speed, but my heart was beating wildly. I clutched hard at the seat belt in front of my chest.


    ¡°While I go looking for a good man, you just keep that lucky talisman safe. That way, you can meet a man better than my brother.¡±


    Oh...is that it? He¡¯s nning to make me change my mind by ying matchmaker? That¡¯s what he meant? Having unraveled the mystery atst, I felt like I could finally breathe freely. For some reason, however, it felt more like a sigh. My body deted as all the energy seemed to be sucked out of me. Why do I feel disappointed? As I was wondering about this, my phone rang inside my purse. I grabbed the phone and checked to see who the caller was. Seeing that it was HeeKyung, a coworker from the theater, I answered the call.


    ¡°Uh, HeeKyung, how are you?¡±


    [AhJung, we¡¯re in trouble!]


    ¡°What? Why?¡±


    [Today¡¯s y, I don¡¯t think we can go on! It¡¯s two hours before show time and the lead actress shot one measly text message and is not answering! She¡¯s noting today!]


    ¡°What are you talking about? The lead actress is noting? What about the show?¡±


    [That¡¯s what I¡¯m saying! What do we do about our show? We will have a full audience because the college group ising. If we have to refund all of them, we¡¯ll go broke!]


    ¡°Just send up the understudy.¡±


    [AhJung, can¡¯t youe?]


    ¡°What?¡±


    [You yed this lead before. And you did the reruns also.]


    ¡°That was two years ago!.¡±


    [This y was your first lead so you practiced your lines a million times. You could recite it in your sleep. And let¡¯s be truthful, you wanted to do it this year also. If it wasn¡¯t for that sponsor...]


    It was not a pleasant topic so HeeKyung¡¯s words faded out. Just listening to it made me embarrassed so that I bit my lower lip and stared at the ground.


    [Anyways, there isn¡¯t anyone that could fill the part better than you. No one. AhJung, save us. You can¡¯t go ditching at a time like this just because you¡¯re going to be the daughter-inw of a rich family.]


    HeeKyung¡¯s ongoing appeal gave me conflicting feelings. I wanted to help, but this was so sudden. My feelings of wanting to help battled with myck of confidence, when HeeKyung let out a cry of desperation.


    [AhhhJunng.....!]


    Battle or not, I decided I needed to save them.


    ¡°Ah, okay, I¡¯ll head over right now!¡±


    ***


    Although I told him that he could drop me off anywhere, Lee JiHan insisted on taking me to the college street theater by car. The tiny theater didn¡¯t have space for a parking lot, so he was forced to park in front of the building. I quickly opened the door and got out, then said a polite goodbye to JiHan.


    ¡°Thank you for giving me a ride. I¡¯ll be back once the y is over. You can head home first.¡±


    I said this all very quickly, closed the door, and ran to the theater entrance. I ran down the dark, narrow stairs to the basement. At the entrance, which could only fit a small desk, HeeKyung was taking tickets. When she saw me, she jumped up and greeted me.


    ¡°AhJung!¡±


    ¡°What about the costume?¡±


    ¡°In the dressing room.¡±


    ¡°Okay. But, uh, DaeChul sunbae isn¡¯ting here, is he?¡±


    ¡°Why are you worrying about DaeChul sunbae all of a sudden? We¡¯ve switched directors ages ago.¡±


    ¡°Just in case...it was his first y as director. Don¡¯t you think there¡¯s a chance he maye to watch?¡±


    I expressed my anxiety to HeeKyung but she gave me an exasperated look.


    ¡°You worry about the silliest things! You really think that sunbae will show up here? No. And even if he did, what¡¯s there to worry about? All the men in this theater will be up in arms guarding the ce.¡±


    ¡°Okay, you have to make sure that happens, all right? Keep your promise, protect me!¡±


    After making HeeKyung ensure my safety, I turned and ran to the dressing room.


    ***


    Lee JiHan


    Based on her exnation, this y seemed to be the one that had given Na AhJung her first leading role four years ago. The same rotten y that brought JiKyung and AhJung together. I decided that I should go see it.


    I parked my car at a nearby lot and headed toward the theater. I couldn¡¯t understand how anyone could call this space a theater. After going down the incredibly narrow stairway, the underground space was dark with only a desk and chair set up as the ticket booth. Even though there was only one chair, two men stood next to the girl sitting in it like thugs. Is this some underground casino?


    As this thought crossed my mind, the girl sitting in the chair pointed at me in surprise.


    ¡°Uh? You¡¯re that...right? You came with AhJung a few days ago?¡±


    Now that I thought about it, this girl was one of the people Na AhJung had given a wedding invitation to. Lim DaeChul had showed up that day too.


    ¡°Yes,¡± I answered bitterly, recalling the unsavory memory.


    ¡°You must havee to see AhJung.¡±


    ¡°Give me one ticket, please.¡±


    Seeing this girl here meant this was, in fact, a theater. I took out my wallet from my pocket.


    ¡°Oh no, don¡¯t worry about it. AhJung¡¯s friends don¡¯t have to pay here. You can just go inside and watch.¡± The girl refused to ept the money and handed me a ticket.


    ¡°I¡¯m not her friend,¡± I said shortly and handed her the bill.


    The girl¡¯s face changed as she realized her mistake.


    ¡°Oh! That¡¯s right. You¡¯re her future brother-inw. I forgot.¡±


    Extremely offended, I ced the money on the desk and snatched the ticket from the girl¡¯s hand.


    ¡°That, is even more incorrect.¡±


    I turned away coldly and headed inside. With only a few steps, I was inside the auditorium. I wagged my tongue as I realized only a measly 50 people could fit into this theater. Not only was it cramped, but there was a strange, lingering smell, and the seats were benches without backs. Ten people to a bench. I checked that each bench was marked with ten numbers and went to find my seat. It was in the third row.


    I pushed my through a bunch of college students to find my seat. When I finally sat down, the theater¡¯s stale air made me cough. I doubted that there was good air cirction here, especially because it was underground. I frowned at the many things that didn¡¯t meet my standards.


    Their romance started in a ce like this? A romance for cockroaches maybe. It was dark, dirty, and smelled terrible. Looking around the ce that only cockroaches could love, I imagined AhJung and my brother in this ce four years ago. My brother would have sat somewhere around here, just like me.


    I looked around at the audience, which consisted mostly of college students, then looked to the stage. I could see the AhJung of four years ago standing somewhere on that stage. Then, the present version of AhJung came into view.


    She was wearing booty shorts and a crop top that revealed her belly button. There was a shirt wrapped around her waist and a baseball cap propped on her head. She stood on top of the shabby stage in front of the rowdy crowd.


    Was I mistaken? I squeezed my eyes closed then opened them again, but the girl standing on top of the stage was indeed AhJung. Looks-wise, she was definitely AhJung, but who was the girl wearing that confident expression? Did AhJung have such an aura?


    Puzzled, I squinted in concentration as she raised her hand toward the audience. As if she could see something other than the audience in front of her, she called out in a loud and upbeat voice.


    ¡°Participant number ten! Bae SooJin! I am a high school student and now I will show you my specialty!¡±


    As soon as she spoke, the lights changed to red and an erotic pop song rang through the stage. On cue, she started to dance to the song. Was this girl not an actress but a dancer? With that face and body, the erotic choreography should have been awkward, but AhJung performed the part splendidly. From time to time, she would shoot seductive nces at the audience like an uncultured, adolescent high school girl.


    AhJung¡¯s small body brilliantly filled the stage, and her young face disyed an easygoing confidence. As she threw her hat, the music stopped and the lights returned to normal. Through her disheveled hair, she smiled slyly in satisfaction. Where has she kept hidden all this talent? The unexpected scene caused electricity to shoot through me. The next moment, a middle aged woman popped out of nowhere and grabbed at AhJung¡¯s hair.


    ¡°Foolish girl! This is what you¡¯ve been up to instead of studying!¡±


    ¡°Ow, mom! If you have time to follow me around, you should use it to find dad!


    ¡°Be quiet! I¡¯m going to shave you bald!¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t you dare! Then I¡¯m going to shave you bald!¡± AhJung yelled in defiance, and red at the mother angrily.


    This was the pathetic girl who, for thest month, had been constantly chewing her fingernails. Now, she was transformed into an adolescent thug who looked like she could chew through knife des. I watched the AhJung on stage as if she was a person from a dream, and for the next two hours, I tried to find the AhJung I knew somewhere on that stage.


    From time to time, snippets from yesterday¡¯s conversation made their way into my consciousness...And every time he came, he brought me flowers. He told me he was enraptured by my acting, that he was a fan. He came to support me everyday...That¡¯s why I like him. Back then, I needed someone like that. Someone to show me that I could keep following this path. That it wasn¡¯t toote. That it would work out. I really wanted to hear those words...And JiKyung said them to me.


    I began to think that maybe, my brother¡¯s actions in that situation had been sincere. Maybe this scene from Na AhJung¡¯s love story could have been real...

 Chapter 23

    <h4>Chapter 23</h4>


    Lee JiHan


    The y had ended and the audience was gone. By the time Na AhJung arrived at her dressing room, she had returned to her normal self. With a cold soda can held to both cheeks, she was sitting crouched in the tiny dressing room. She propped her chin on top of her knees and closed her eyes. When she realized I had arrived in front of her, her eyes fluttered open.


    ¡°Oh? I thought you went home,¡± she said in surprise.


    ¡°I was in the audience. Did you not see me?¡±


    ¡°Ahh! You were? You were watching!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re telling me you didn¡¯t see me in this tiny theater? Are you kidding me?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s hard to see the audience when you¡¯re on stage...


    Looking like she might be in trouble, AhJung nced hesitantly over at me.


    ¡°Yes, this is the Na AhJung I know,¡± I identally said out loud.


    A few momentster, I crouched down in front of her. Sitting at eye level with her, I ced my hand on top of her head.


    ¡°Not bad,¡± I said.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Acting. I think you can continue doing it.¡± I patted her on the head while I said this. ¡°Of all the things my brother said to you, I think at least this one thing was the truth.¡±


    ¡°What things?¡± AhJung asked confused.


    ¡°You can keep following this path. It¡¯s not toote. It will work out,¡± I repeated word for word what my brother had supposedly said to her.


    The best of this girl is when she is on that stage. My brother and I agreed on that.


    At my words, AhJung looked back at me as if she had been hit on the back of the head with a hammer.


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°You believe my brother but when Ipliment you it¡¯s fake?¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s...the opposite.¡±


    ¡°Opposite?¡±


    ¡°Ah, no.¡± AhJung closed her eyes and shook her head to get back to her senses. Her mind must have gone numb.


    She held the soda cans to her forehead. ¡°Pull yourself together, pull yourself together, pull yourself together,¡± she muttered under her breath almost too quietly for me to hear.


    The time this girl is on stage may be the only time she is at her best, but this was cute in its own way. Ovee by a whim, I grabbed AhJung by the arm. Her eyes flew open in response to the action.


    ¡°Stop sitting there and stand up.¡± I stood up and pulled Na AhJung up with me.


    Now that I had her up, I realized that she still had not changed out of her costume.


    ¡°Change ande out. I¡¯ll bring the car from the lot and pick you up in the front.¡±


    Because she still looked shocked by the situation, I took the cans and held them to her two cheeks. At this, AhJung jumped in surprise and her eyes became as big as tes.


    ¡°Pull yourself together, and don¡¯t leave any pieces behind,¡± I said.


    Even though the cold cans were resting on her face, it grew redder.


    ***


    While exiting the theater and heading to the parking lot, I called the fortune-teller we had met earlier that day.


    ¡°That girl, theke, is her future that bleak?¡± I asked.


    [Lake? No, that girl only holds the water in a te. I was trying to be kind because she was sitting in front of me, but her future is worse than I originally predicted. What could she do with that water on a te? There¡¯s nothing that will work out for her.]


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t seem that way, can you try looking at her fortune a bit more carefully? This girl, don¡¯t you think that the te could grow? Perhaps it could be an enormous te.¡±


    [Do you think that looking it over again will create something out of nothing? Her fortune is that of a te.]


    ¡°Then please make me a new talisman.¡±


    [Talisman? I gave you onest time. Did you lose it?]


    ¡°No. Not one that makes her feelings fade but one that makes things work out for her. Please.¡±


    [Really? Well, that¡¯s not difficult, but like I¡¯ve said before if she meets her man of gold, everything will work out in her favor. That will have a far better effect than a talisman.]


    ¡°That wasn¡¯t something you made up?¡±


    [What are you jabbering about? I may have tricked the girl into taking the talisman because you begged me so much but I never mess with my fortune reading. Thepatibility and future I read were all real. I thought that was the deal?]


    ¡°That¡¯s true, but the thing about the man of gold was a bit disturbing.¡±


    [Why? Because you thought I was talking about you? Because you are gold, you thought I was making fun of you?]


    ¡°Yes, that is what I thought.¡±


    [Well, I¡¯m not able to say whether that is you or someone else. All I did was read you the fortune I saw. The rest is up to you two.]


    ¡°Well, if that¡¯s the case, I just have to find a guy that has the same fortune as me.¡±


    [Do as you please. I¡¯ll have another talisman ready soe over and pick it up. I have another customer. I¡¯m hanging up.]


    The phone went silent. What was this nagging feeling? I put the cellphone back in my pocket and shook my head. I had already reached the parking lot. I sped up to get to my car faster but stopped when I saw a flower shop across the street.


    ***


    Na AhJung


    After changing back into my regr clothes and passing by the ticket booth, I saw HeeKyung cleaning up her area. She hurried over and handed me an envelope.


    ¡°Thank you so much for today, you did great! It¡¯s not a lot, but here¡¯s your pay.¡±


    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t worry about it,¡± I said. ¡°The y doesn¡¯t even make that much, just buy me a drinkter.¡±


    ¡°Last time you did this y, it made no money so you didn¡¯t get a dime. I should be giving you more but it¡¯s not doing all that well now either. There¡¯s just enough here to buy a drink.¡± HeeKyung forced the envelope into my hands and winked.


    I put the envelope sheepishly into my bag. ¡°Well, if it¡¯s just enough for a drink...what are you going to do about the y tomorrow?¡±


    ¡°We got a call back from the lead a few minutes ago. She said she¡¯lle out tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°What is wrong with her?¡± I asked.


    ¡°She has no desperation. She has a sponsor and got the lead with such ease. The y¡¯s reaction is not all that great so she is just getting toozy to do it. From what I hear, she¡¯s already poking around other directors to get a part in a different y.¡±


    I pouted, feeling cheated hearing about the life of the younger actress who had pushed me out of the spotlight.


    ¡°AhJung, that man you introduced to usst time as your future brother-inw, he was here today. What¡¯s your rtionship with him?¡±


    I was a bit taken aback by her suspicious tone. ¡°What do you mean rtionship? What are you talking about?¡±


    Did she see something in the dressing room when he had made me blush? My face blushed red again as it had in front of JiHan earlier. At my reaction, HeeKyung raised her eyebrows.


    ¡°When he came to the ticket booth and I greeted him, he imed he was neither your friend, nor your future brother-inw. What is he?¡± she asked doubtfully.


    ¡°Oh, is that what he said?¡± I was relieved to find out this wasn¡¯t because of something she¡¯d seen. ¡°To tell you the truth, he doesn¡¯t like me. He said his brother is too good for me. That¡¯s probably why he said it like that.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s the reason?¡±


    ¡°Yes. That¡¯s the reason.¡±


    ¡°But why does he follow you around? Especially when he says he doesn¡¯t like you.¡±


    ¡°Well, he says he wants to observe what I¡¯m like. He is my future brother-inw,¡± I said nodding.


    That was the truth,Lee JiHan would soon be my brother-inw, but even so I felt diforted by the fact. The thought of JiHan as my brother-inw made me feel unnerved for some reason.


    ***


    I said my goodbyes to HeeKyung and exited the theater. It was already dark outside.


    I looked around the entrance to find JiHan¡¯s car but he wasn¡¯t there. Had he parked far away? I checked the time with my cellphone and searched for him again. When Lee JiHan shows up, I will act like I normally do. I will not start blushing likest time. All of a sudden, I heard a raspy voiceing from behind me.


    ¡°Lookie here, isn¡¯t it Na AhJung?¡±


    I swung around in fright and found DaeChul sunbae standing in front of me.


    ¡°Oh my God!¡± I fell backward as I screamed.


    ¡°What? Why are you so frightened? Did you see a ghost?¡± Lim DaeChul crept over next to me.


    ¡°Sunbae, what are you doing here...¡±


    ¡°Why else would I be here. I came to see you.¡±


    ¡°Huh? Me?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. I came all the way here to see you.¡±


    ¡°How did you even know I was here?¡±


    ¡°Hey, I have no way to contact you so I have to do this sort of thing.¡±


    ¡°This sort of thing...what thing?¡±


    ¡°Why do you think that other actress didn¡¯t show up today?¡± Lim DaeChul looked me up and down strangely. Thanks to him, my whole body felt as cold as ice.


    This jerk had nned all of this to get me here! Scared, I grasped at my heart, barely able to respond.


    ¡°So the reason the lead didn¡¯t show up...¡±


    ¡°Yep, that was me. I had to give her another part just so I could get you here, AhJung.¡± Lim DaeChul slightly kicked my knee with the tip of his foot. ¡°Do you know why?¡±


    I did know, this was all because of Lee JiKyung, but I had to pretend I didn¡¯t know, so I shook my head.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, but I...I don¡¯t have time. I¡¯ll talk to youter.¡± I shuffled backward slowly to try to avoid the situation, but Lim DaeChul grabbed my arm.


    ¡°Notter. Now. I have something very important for you to hear. Let¡¯s go talk somewhere quiet.¡±


    ¡°I...I have nothing to hear.¡± I avoided his gaze and tried with all my might to remove my arm from his grasp.


    Lim DaeChul, however, had no intention of letting me go and twisted it more painfully.


    ¡°Na AhJung, if you don¡¯t want to get a beating, you¡¯d better follow me.¡± His brutal voice made me tear up.


    I continued to fight him off, even under the threat of getting hit.


    ¡°Quit getting on my nerves!¡± Lim DaeChul let go of my arms and grabbed me by the hair.


    I cried out with my eyes closed as he attacked me violently. It was as if he was determined to pull out all my hair by its roots. He continued to drag me with him. Was this why being with JiKyung would stop me from living up to my full potential ? Because of this thing with Lim Daechul? I was in so much pain that my eyes were watering, but I still resisted. Unfortunately my actions were useless because my feet faltered beneath me as he dragged me away.


    Should I scream? No, what if he reveals to everyone here that the man I am about to marry is gay? If he said that in front of everyone and Lee JiHan heard...is it be better to just follow him now and try to escapeter?


    As I was weighing my options, I heard a screech so loud that even Lim DaeChul stopped. Tires squealed and a car came to a halt in front of us. I opened my eyes and looked at the car. JiHan burst through the car door.


    Oh no! Lee JiHan can¡¯t get involved! He can¡¯t hear what DaeChul will say!


    As the rms went off in my head, JiHan started to run toward Lim DaeChul who still had me by the hair. JiHan extended his arm and grabbed Lim Daechul by his hair!


    ¡°Huh?¡± I said out loud in confusion.


    Lee JiHan lifted Lim DaeChul by his hair, causing him to let me go as he moved his grip to JiHan¡¯s wrist and screamed in pain. Released from Lim DaeChul¡¯s grip, I stepped back massaging my still aching scalp. DaeChul stood on tiptoes as JiHan pulled harder.


    ¡°Ow, who are you? Let go!¡±


    As Lim DaeChul yelled, JiHan shook him back and forth. Lim DaeChul, unable to say anything else, continued to scream. I blinked, not knowing how the situation hade to this. JiHan dragged DaeChul and shoved him into the back seat of the car. In the blink of an eye, JiHan got into the driver¡¯s seat and locked the door. He whizzed past me and drove out of my sight.


    What just happened? I blinked rapidly. Gathering my thoughts, I picked up my phone which had fallen to the floor. Worried that Lim DaeChul would reveal JiKyung¡¯s secret, I called JiHan. He JiHan didn¡¯t pick up the phone for ten minutes. I chewed at my fingernails nervously as I was overtaken by anxiety.


    After about 20 minutes, JiHan¡¯s car appeared in front of me. My heart was beating fearfully as he opened the car door and got out. Peering inside, I found that Lim


    ¡°Your poor head.¡± JiHan wrapped his hands consolingly over my scalp.


    Looking up at him, I saw that he was checking to see if there was anything wrong.


    ¡°If it still hurts, we can go to the hospital,¡± he said.


    ¡°No, no it doesn¡¯t hurt now,¡± I insisted. Who goes to a hospital for getting their hair pulled? I shook my head, dumbstruck. ¡°What happened to DaeChul sunbae?¡±


    ¡°I threw him away.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°He won¡¯t be able toe back, so don¡¯t worry about it.¡± Lee JiHan patted my head with one hand.


    ¡°Howe he can¡¯te back?¡±


    ¡°Because humans have a survival instinct.¡±


    I stood speechless at his roundabout way of exining what had happened. He gave me no opening to ask further questions, only wrapped his arms around mine and lead me to the passenger¡¯s seat.


    When JiHan opened the car door, I turned to the back seat and checked that Lim DaeChul was really not there. After massaging my numb legs, I sat in the passenger¡¯s seat. JiHan closed the door, headed to the back of the car, and returned with arge bouquet which he handed to me. The bouquet held blooms of varying colors and was almost as big as I was.


    ¡°Hold onto this for a second,¡± he said as if it wasn¡¯t for me.


    ¡°Oh, okay.¡± As if it was a job he¡¯d assigned me, I hugged the humongous bouquet.


    He headed to the trunk again and returned with another enormous bouquet, ced it on myp without another word and closed the door. I heard the trunk close behind me and when JiHan returned to his seat, he had yet another basket of flowers.


    ¡°This you can wear over your shoulders,¡± he said.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°If you can hold on to it then go ahead. If you want to leave it at your feet you can do that too. It just seems like it will be ufortable to do that, so I¡¯m telling you to wear it over your shoulders.¡±


    ¡°But what is all this?¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t know which one you would like so I bought all the flowers left at the flower shop. I figured at least one would be your favorite.¡±


    I stared at him in silence. Did the flower fumes gone to his head? I think he¡¯s lost it. As I questioned his sanity, Lee JiHan started his car.

 Chapter 24

    <h4>Chapter 24</h4>


    Lee JiHan


    I left Na AhJung sitting in the restaurant as I went to the bathroom to wash up. I washed my face with cold water to erase the memories but I could still hear Lim Daechul¡¯s voice as if he was sitting right behind me.


    Who are you? What do you think you¡¯re doing?


    I¡¯d stopped in the middle of an empty road and pulled Lim DaeChul out of the car, grabbing him by the cor and pushing him against the car. I could still feel his skin against mine. Disgusted, I washed my hands roughly. As my train of thought continued, I red at the mirror in front of me as I had red at Lim DaeChul.


    ¡°Na AhJung is not going to marry Lee JiKyung.¡±


    What?


    ¡°So you stay away from her. Even if you cross paths by ident, run away if you want to live.¡± I could see Lim DaeChul¡¯s frowning face in the mirror.


    Who the hell do you think you are? What do you know to get in my way?


    I¡¯d turned his body towards the opposing traffe. He¡¯d froze in fear and shut up. I left him at the divider line as a car whizzed past him.


    ¡°I¡¯m the person who will do whatever it takes to break up their marriage,¡± I¡¯d answered as if this was possible at that very moment. ¡°I have that ability and I can get rid of someone like you as well. So which side do you want to witness? Will you watch quietly from a distance as I break up the wedding? Or do you want to disappear off the face of the earth?¡±


    At that moment, another car had zoomed by. Lim DaeChul stood frozen, unable to say a word, his eyes pleading for mercy. I wanted to erase that face from my memory. That scum.


    I closed my eyes to stop the shback, then tossed more cold water onto my face. Of all the people my brother could choose to date. Even Na AhJung was better! Trying to rid myself of the memory, I shook my head vigorously. Droplets of water flew off my wet face.


    ***


    When I returned to the restaurant table, AhJung was chewing on her nails instead of the steak in front of her, like a rabbit eating a carrot.


    ¡°Why are you sitting there like that? You should have started eating,¡± I scolded.


    ¡°Did DaeChul sunbae say anything weird to you?¡± she asked nervously.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t listen to anything that guy said. I was the only one who talked.¡±


    ¡°What did you say?¡±


    ¡°That I¡¯ll kill him if he ever shows his face in front of you again.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    Because I can¡¯t let him tell you my brother is gay. I swallowed the words I was unable to say out loud and only said the words I chose to reveal.


    ¡°Because I don¡¯t want to see anyone bothering you.


    AhJung dropped the fork when she heard my answer. She must have been surprised by an unexpected answer. It made sense, I had bothered her this whole time. Me saying this now was a bit unbelievable.


    ¡°What¡¯s with that face? I¡¯m not lying. For the past month, I was the only person bothering you so now I think it¡¯s obvious that I should be the only one allowed to continue doing it.¡± I shrugged, picked up my fork and knife and started to cut the steak. ¡°Anyways I don¡¯t want to share this with some other jerk so if there¡¯s anyone else bothering you, let me know.¡±


    ¡°Oh...¡± AhJung nodded as if she finally understood. ¡°I thought¡ª¡± she started to mumble.


    ¡°Thought what?¡± At my interruption, AhJung came back to her senses and shook her head.


    ¡°Oh, nothing! It¡¯s nothing.¡±


    AhJung tightened her grip on the knife and started to cut her steak. She sawed at it hurriedly. She must have been hungry. I waited patiently, not saying or doing anything until she swallowed three pieces. She chewed thoughtfully, but her reaction was not one I was ustomed to. There were no words about how wonderful the steak was. Wondering if there was something wrong with it, I ced a bite into my mouth. It tasted quite delicious. Why was AhJung acting like that?


    I chewed the steak, and after swallowing I asked her if there was something wrong with hers. She froze at my question for a moment, then shook her head.


    ¡°No. It¡¯s delicious.¡±


    ¡°Then why is your expression like that?¡±


    AhJung flinched at my observation, as if I knew something she didn¡¯t want me to know. Then she straightened up.


    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s, uh...good. OhI mean... this steak is good but it doesn¡¯tpare to the one you made me. My taste buds must not be the same as before now that I¡¯m used to your cooking.¡± She smiled looking embarrassed. ¡°It may be a problem, my standards bing so high. I¡¯m worried that I won¡¯t be able to eat anything like I used to.¡±


    Like the sound of silver bells, her choice of words made me putty in her hands whenever she spoke. My lips twitched and a smile escaped me. Because AhJung was no longer my foe, I didn¡¯t try to hide myughter or run away from it. I just continued to look at her.


    ¡°Worry about the far futureter,¡± I said. ¡°Let¡¯s just pick a menu for tomorrow. I¡¯ll make all three meals for you tomorrow. Is there anything you would like to eat?¡±


    With my head propped up on my hands, I smiledfortably at AhJung. Her cheeks burned red at the sight. Why is she blushing? The moment I thought this, she shot out of her seat.


    ¡°I have to go to the bathroom!¡±


    Without waiting for my answer, she bolted.


    ¡°Did she get food poisoning or something?¡± I muttered as I saw her disappear.


    She pushed open the restaurant door and headed outside. But the bathroom¡¯s... not outside of the building. Am I mistaken? I waited for AhJung to return, but after ten minutes she did not show up. Thinking something was wrong, I called her. The phone rang for a long time before her voice answered the call.


    [Oh...uh, I had to...um, stop by my house because something happened. I¡¯m heading over my house now.]


    ¡°What are you talking about?¡±


    [So, anyway, don¡¯t wait up for me. I need to hang up now. I¡¯ll call youter.


    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± I asked, but she¡¯d already hung up.


    What could possibly have happened all of a sudden? I frowned in disbelief, staring at my phone.


    ***


    Returning home without AhJung, I headed to her room. The new furniture was set to be delivered today since no one would be home untilter. I opened the door to check on it and inside, I found a replica of the princess room in the catalog I had seen at the store.


    The white canopy was draped over the bed. The luxurious white tea table sat delicately in the middle of the room with a golden vase sitting on top of it. The vanity was next to the desk and drawers. After checking each one, I walked to the bed. The white canopy hung like arge veil, but one thing was missing. The teddy bear.


    Where in the world did this girl put it? I looked around and finally tried the closet. I opened the closet door doubtfully but found it sitting there. Why did she but this in the closet? Did I give this to her to wear? I removed the bear and took it to the bed. I positioned the teddy bear inside the canopy next to the pillow like I¡¯d seen in the catalog.


    Afterpleting the setup, I stepped back and looked at the finished product. My gaze was drawn back to the bed. To be exact, it was drawn to the teddy bear sitting on the bed. I frowned as I saw the lonely teddy bear sitting there by itself. Everything is here, but where is that girl.


    I sat on the edge of the bed and checked the time on my phone. 9:00pm. It¡¯d been an hour since she¡¯d said she was heading home. She wasn¡¯t staying out tonight, was she?


    Annoyed at the situation, I called AhJung but I was put on call waiting. I tried two more times, then a third but faced the same result. After 20 times, she seemed to still be talking to someone else. During this time, I was getting 20 times more annoyed.


    ***


    Na AhJung


    I sat in the corner of the sauna with a towel wrapped around my head, afraid someone would recognize me. I whined to JiKyung over the phone.


    ¡°Hurry up ande, JiKyung. Can¡¯t you juste tomorrow? Please? I¡¯m having a hard time. I need you.¡±


    [What exactly is going on? Is JiHan bothering you again?]


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not that...¡±


    There was no one within a 30-foot radius of me but I was still unable to utter those words. When your brother smiled, my heart almost stopped! I could never say those words to Lee JiKyung!


    ¡°I¡¯m just having a hard time! I can¡¯t stay in one house with your brother anymore!¡±


    [You seemed to be okay hanging in there even when you were afraid of him. What¡¯s happened now?]


    ¡°Nothing! Nothing happened!¡±


    Truthfully, JiHan didn¡¯t do anything wrong. He¡¯d said the words I¡¯ve wanted to hear my whole life, chased away DaeChul sunbae, given me all the flowers from the flower shop, and finally, like the lead in a romance drama, he smiled at me! None of these actions made JiHan bad. Me falling for him was bad! I closed my eyes and in a sobbing, practically dying voice, I spoke to JiKyung.


    ¡°You¡¯re brother did nothing wrong....¡±


    [Then what¡¯s the problem? If JiHan didn¡¯t do anything wrong, then why can¡¯t you live in the same house as him.]


    Chewing at my fingernails, I tried with all my might to find an excuse. ¡°It¡¯s...JiKyung, you can¡¯t tell anyone this okay? Especially your brother...¡±


    [Of course. Now, what is it? What¡¯s the problem?]


    ¡°That house...the Dogok Dong apartment...has a ghost!¡± I said this as if revealing a shocking secret. ¡°But I¡¯m the only one who can see it. So don¡¯t tell your brother and just let me get out of there.¡±


    JiKyung was silent.


    ¡°Your brother has a strong aura so he probably can¡¯t see the ghost. It won¡¯t be a problem for him, but I¡¯m not like that. Until youe back, I want to stay somewhere else. Can you tell your brother to let me live somewhere else?¡±


    [AhJung, just admit that you can¡¯t handle JiHan bothering you. You¡¯re just trying to avoid having me saying anything to him because you¡¯re afraid it will make the situation worse, aren¡¯t you?]


    I should have just said that. That was a lot more believable.


    ¡°Uh, yeah. If you say something, it will put me in a tough spot.¡± Because your brother didn¡¯t do anything wrong this time! ¡°So don¡¯t say anything. Please, just find a ce for me to stay until youe back,¡± I begged JiKyung.


    [All right. But truthfully, you don¡¯t need my permission to stay anywhere. Don¡¯t worry about JiHan, do as you please.]


    ¡°That¡¯s...true. Besides, your brother doesn¡¯t like living with me. He was only living with me to get me away from you. He will like it if I¡¯m no longer there. Plus, he said he promised fair y so he¡¯s not even bothering me anymore. There¡¯s no reason for us to live together.¡± I nodded, persuading myself of this fact.


    [So where are you going to stay?]


    ¡°I¡¯ll just sleep in the sauna. If it¡¯s alright, I¡¯ll stay here long term.¡±


    [Where exactly are you nning to use the $500,000 I¡¯ve given you? With that money, wouldn¡¯t a hotel be a better permanent solution?]


    ¡°I have to spend that money wisely! How could I use it like that? Do you know what it took to get that money?¡±


    [Can¡¯t even eat the cake when it¡¯s given to you...]


    ¡°I¡¯m just not spending it on something useless. I have ns of my own for that money.¡±


    [AhJung, I¡¯ll give you a bonus. Just stay at a hotel.]


    ¡°Oh, forget it! You must not know because you¡¯ve never slept in a sauna, but the facility is pretty good. Don¡¯t worry about such useless things and resolve the issue with DaeChul sunbae. Did he call you?¡±


    [No. Not yet.]


    At JiKyung¡¯s answer, I remembered JiHan dragging Lim DaeChul away. If what JiHan said was true, Lim DaeChul would have had his life threatened. Would he look for me even after that?


    I hoped that he wouldn¡¯t. ¡°If he calls again, let me know.¡±


    [Okay. I¡¯ll tell JiHan that you¡¯ll be spending time at home for a while.]


    My stepmother¡¯s house, my home. The words did not seem to fit together. But then again, there was nowhere else I could call home. ¡°That¡¯s fine.¡±


    [But are you going to stay at the sauna?]


    ¡°Yes. Until youe, I¡¯m going to stay safe here.¡±


    [How is the sauna safe? It¡¯s going to be at least three weeks until I¡¯m back. If that¡¯s the case, you should just stay at our new house.]


    ¡°If I stay there, Lee JiHan may show up,¡± I said fearfully.


    [Are you so afraid of running into my brother?]


    No, I¡¯m afraid of my heart fluttering. If I see Lee JiHan again, it will flutter again. That¡¯s why I¡¯m afraid to see him.


    As if my fingers weren¡¯t enough, I started chewing on the edge of the towel.


    [You said he was being nice to you these few days. Did he already change back?]


    This time I was the one who¡¯d changed. Unable to reveal the truth, I changed the subject.


    ¡°It¡¯s not your brother we should be worrying about. Your ex-boyfriend is causing me more grief, you know that? He grabbed me by my hair today!¡±


    It was better to insult Lim DaeChul than Lee JiHan. I changed the attack¡¯s direction and poured out all the atrocities I¡¯d faced from him.


    ***


    After my conversation with JiKyung ended, I immediately got a call from JiHan. My face flushed. Why am I getting red again? I only saw his name!


    Depressed by my sudden burning face, I tried to ignore the call, but my phone wouldn¡¯t stop buzzing. It seemed to be angrily demanding that I hurry up and answer, but I was unable to gather up the courage. I took the towel off of my head and wrapped it around the phone which muffled the sound a little. If I just waited, JiKyung would sort out the situation. I was supposed to be at my stepmother¡¯s and until the day of the wedding, I would not have to meet JiHan again. JiKyung would sort it out.


    Believing that, Iid my head on the sauna pillow and tried to ignore the phone. I curled up like a shrimp and tried to sleep.


    *Buzz buzz* I imagined the sound was a luby.


    ***


    I didn¡¯t know how much time had passed since I¡¯d fallen asleep, but someone was shaking me awake. I opened my eyes sleepily. A well-built man was sitting there watching me. Making eye contact, the man held up a picture andpared the person in it to me.


    ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡± he asked.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m looking for someone and I¡¯m wondering if you are her.¡±


    I was dazed from being suddenly woken up but feeling like I was in danger, I forced myself up.


    ¡°Who...are you looking for?¡±


    ¡°Uh...I¡¯m a detective, and someone asked I find a student for them. You look like her. What¡¯s your name?¡±


    ¡°What is the name of the student?¡± I asked, not wanting to trust him.


    The man scratched his head and answered. ¡°Kim SungHee.¡±


    ¡°Oh. That¡¯s not me, I¡¯m Na AhJung.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Yes. Should I show you my ID from the dressing room?¡±


    The man took another look at the picture. Then he touched his chin and smiled as if pleased. Thinking this strange, I watched warily as the man got up.


    ¡°Then continue sleeping. I¡¯m sorry I woke you up.¡± Then the man left without regret.


    Hmm. I hoped the runaway Kim SungHee returned home soon. Thinking that it was a shame, I clucked my tongue andid back down on my pillow. It didn¡¯t take long to fall back asleep.

 Chapter 25

    <h4>Chapter 25</h4>


    After a while, I was woken up by a loud ringing.


    ¡°Shit!¡±


    With my eyes still closed, I frowned and searched for my phone. It was right next to my head. With one hand, I grabbed the phone and with the other, I rubbed my eyes in annoyance. I brought the phone to my eyes.


    ¡°Who the heck is it...¡±


    I barely opened my eyes and stared at the screen. The name Lee JiHan popped up on the screen. I dropped the phone as if it had burned me. My heart, which had slowed down during sleep, started to beat wildly. This guy, does he know what time it is? Has he not heard from JiKyung yet? As I sat there frozen, the phone continued to ring loudly.


    I picked up the phone, not wanting to bother the other people sleeping around me. I turned it offpletely. I was suddenly struck by a strange realization. I¡¯m sure I put my phone on vibrate...did I not?


    Trying to figure out if I was remembering it incorrectly, I scratched my head in bewilderment. I could be wrong. I must be mistaken. I ced the turned-off phone next to me andid back down with my back towards it.


    A few minutester, the phone behind me began to ring again. What¡¯s happening? Why do I keep hearing this sound? Thinking it strange, I rolled around and found that the phone was gone. In its ce stood a pair of legs. Following the legs upward, I found my phone in Lee JiHan¡¯s hand.


    With my phone held in his hand, JiHan stood with ice-cold fury in his eyes. Is this what the icy winds of the Okhotsk Sea would be like? There was not an ounce of wind in the sauna but I felt a chill that froze me to my corner.


    ¡°Uh, why are you here¡ª¡±


    ¡°Is this your house?¡± JiHan cut me off.


    ¡°No...¡± I answered with my head low as if I hadmitted a huge crime.


    ¡°So why are you here? I thought you said there was a problem at home.¡±


    I thought it a better option to bite my tongue than to tell him the truth: that he made my heart flutter.


    ¡°I went home to figure things out, then came here.¡±


    ¡°And ignored my calls. While you were just lying here?¡±


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t ignoring it.¡±


    ¡°You checking that it was me and turning off the phone is not ignoring me? Then is that respecting me?¡± He was watching everything, even me turning off the phone!


    I slowly sat in a kneeling position not knowing what to say. Should I raise my arms too? That might be overdoing it.


    ¡°Don¡¯t you have anything to say for yourself? You can¡¯t keep lying as you did before.¡±


    ¡°Lying?¡± I lifted my head slowly and inspected JiHan¡¯s state. He frowned and answered angrily.


    ¡°I know it¡¯s a lie that you went home then came here.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I went to your house and you weren¡¯t there.¡±


    ¡°Oh, when?¡±


    ¡°When my brother called me to let me know you went to your stepmother¡¯s house.¡±


    ¡°Oh, we must have missed each other.¡±


    Lee JiHan shook his head with a stony face at my excuse. ¡°You did not stop by the house, and there was no problem at home. You think I wouldn¡¯t have checked that with your family before I came here?¡±


    With my head sagging lower, I quietly raised both my arms over my head.


    ¡°Why in the world would you lie about something like that?¡±


    I remained silent.


    ¡°You said you were going home, and you weren¡¯t there. You don¡¯t even pick up the phone. Did you know that thanks to you, I had to hire detectives to go looking for you?¡±


    ¡°I mean,it wasn¡¯t worth hiring detectives...¡± I looked up at Lee JiHan confused.


    With both arms still in the air, I spoke. ¡°If I wasn¡¯t home, you could have just left it at that. It¡¯s not like I stole your money and ran for it. I mean, why did you go to my house in the first ce? If I said I¡¯m going to my house, there¡¯s no reason to go check. What¡¯s that all about?¡±


    At my questions, Lee JiHan¡¯s eyes grew wide in anger. ¡°Because I didn¡¯t give you permission!¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I never permitted you to sleep elsewhere! So I came to catch you!¡±


    After he finished screaming at me, he grabbed me by the arms and lifted me. Before I could even regain my bnce, JiHan locked my arms with his and dragged me outside. I was dragged back to the apartment, still in the sauna clothes, and pushed through the door of my room.


    ¡°You will not think of sleeping anywhere other than this room,¡± he announced.


    Seeing the delicate canopy draped on the bed in front of me, I winced and looked around the rest of the room. Tea table, mirrored vanity, even the carpet beneath my feet; they were all uselessly luxurious pieces that I did not need, and I was surrounded by them. The suffocating smell of money hadn¡¯t been this extreme when I¡¯d left.


    Displeased by my half-hearted surveince of the room, JiHan grabbed my shoulder.


    ¡°Look around more carefully,¡± he said.


    Surprised by my heart suddenly skipped a beat and my shoulders cringed. Lee JiHan straightened them and turned me to the right.


    ¡°That a new vanity and drawer set, do you see it?¡±


    ¡°Uh, yes, it¡¯s nice.¡±


    I didn¡¯t have enough money to afford a desk in the past, and I wondered if a dresser was even necessary, but I nodded nheless and pretended I liked it. JiHan turned me to the left.


    ¡°This tea table, doesn¡¯t it feel luxurious?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I can feel it.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t feel what its purpose was, though. I continued nodding my head to appease him.


    ¡°My standards in taste are phenomenal.¡±


    ¡°Yes, they are.¡±


    Lee JiHan dragged me to the bed and sat me down. Meanwhile, I tried to not make eye contact with him and lowered my head. He shoved the teddy bear into my arms. I received it without hesitation, thinking I would get in trouble if I didn¡¯t. JiHan pushed the bear into my chest and wrapped my arms tightly around its body. Then he pinched my cheeks. I turned my head and saw him ring at me.


    ¡°How could you leave a room like this, and stay at that prison-like ce. How does that make any sense?¡±


    JiHan shook my head to and fro thinking my actions unforgiving.


    ¡°I¡¯m telling you one more time. You better not even think of sleeping somewhere else other than this room.¡±


    ¡°But...¡± I¡¯m being pinched and still, my heart skips a beat!


    I closed my eyes, wanting to cry and tried to dissuade him.


    ¡°I can¡¯t do that! I want to go live at my house now. Until JiKyunges back, I want to live by myself!¡±


    Even with my cheeks held hostage by his hands, I said everything I wanted to. Lee JiHan stopped shaking me.


    ¡°Until my brotheres, you want to stay somewhere else. Is that it?¡±


    I nodded with my eyes still closed. Lee JiHan let go of my cheeks and sat without speaking. Unable to stand the silence any longer, I opened my eyes and looked at him. He had his arms crossed and was staring at me with displeased eyes.


    ¡°And why is that?¡± he asked.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°The reasoning behind wanting to stay somewhere else. What is it?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s...um,¡± I stuttered.


    My heart beats furiously when I see you. I wasn¡¯t able to tell him that so I tried to find a different excuse.


    ¡°Before I get married, I want to enjoy my final days of single life¡ª¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not a good enough excuse. Veto.¡±


    He cut me off before I¡¯d even finished talking. Then he headed to the closet.


    ¡°What? Veto?¡± I asked JiHan¡¯s back.


    He pulled out pajamas from the closet.


    ¡°If you¡¯re giving up on marrying my brother, then you can leave this house.¡± JiHan threw the pajamas at my knees. ¡°But if that¡¯s not it, then change into these and sleep,¡± JiHanmanded as he pointed to my orange sauna attire.


    As if he didn¡¯t need to hear anymore, he swiftly exited the room. What? If I don¡¯t want to give up on the wedding, I can never leave this house? I¡¯d wondered why he¡¯d been nice ever since we stepped into the house...he was holding me prisoner! My heart beat erratically for apletely different reason this time. It was not a flutter but a thump of terror. I hugged the teddy bear tighter as I trembled in fear.


    ***


    Afraid that he woulde to check on me, I changed into the pajamas he¡¯d given me and forced myself to try to try and sleep. Even after several hours, however, I couldn¡¯t fall asleep and the sunlight soon began to filter in through the window.


    Thinking I should at least try to get a few minutes of sleep, I tossed and turned trying to find afortable position. JiKyung texted me, and the one line he sent jolted me awake immediately.


    [Do you have a man?]


    The out of the blue message caused me to jump out of bed and call JiKyung immediately.


    ¡°What? What are you talking about?¡±


    [Isn¡¯t it the crack of dawn there? What are you doing up?]


    ¡°I asked what you were talking about?¡±


    [I got an email from Lim DaeChul. That you have a man.]


    ¡°What?!¡±


    [That he showed up while you two were talking and then dragged him away. Who¡¯s that?]


    ¡°Hey, that¡¯s your brother.¡±


    [That man said that you and I are not going to get married. That the person you love is him. You¡¯re saying that¡¯s my brother?]


    ¡°What in the world! Why would your brother say that!¡±


    [I know. There¡¯s no way my brother would say that...is there anyone else?]


    ¡°If there was another man, why would I be getting married to you?¡±


    [Then what the heck is all this?]


    ¡°What do you think it is, your ex-boyfriend is scamming you! You can¡¯t tell? He wants you to split up with me, so he¡¯s trying to get us to fight!¡±


    [Is that so? You¡¯re saying nothing like this happened?]


    ¡°Well, your brother did drag off DaeChul sunbae...¡±


    I remembered Lee JiHan dragging DaeChul away in front of the theater. I didn¡¯t know what he¡¯d said to Daechul after that though. I hadn¡¯t seen or heard anything first hand. I only knew what JiHan had told me.


    [That¡¯s true? But what about the rest?]


    ¡°The rest...truthfully, I didn¡¯t see what happened afterward. Your brother just told me that if DaeChul sunbae showed up in front of me again, he¡¯d kill him.¡±


    [That¡¯s weird in itself. Why would he say something like that?]


    ¡°Right? I thought that was weird too. But after he exined it to me, I didn¡¯t think much about it. He said he didn¡¯t like DaeChul sunbae bothering me. That he was the only one allowed to do that and didn¡¯t want to share that with anyone else.¡±


    I exined this to JiKyung while scratching my head and the phone became silent.


    ¡°Why are you so quiet? Is something strange?¡±


    At my question, JiKyung quietly and delicately replied.


    [AhJung. Do you think my brother...likes you?]


    ¡°Ack!¡± A scream escaped my throat. ¡°All of a sudden? Why would he? Why?¡±


    [Never mind. Don¡¯t worry about it. I must have lost my mind thinking something like that.]


    ¡°I¡¯m going to worry about it. It worries me.¡±


    [Don¡¯t.]


    ¡°But it does! So tell me why you think that? What¡¯s the reason?¡±


    [It¡¯s just...for most people, if you don¡¯t like them, you think they get what they deserve if someone else is bothering them. But he spent all that time bothering you and now he¡¯s saying he doesn¡¯t want anyone else doing it? It¡¯s like the psychology of an elementary kid. Pulling on her pigtails because you like her. It just seemed like that for a bit there.]


    ¡°Oh...could...could it be?¡±


    With this new way of looking at it, I too became suspicious of JiHan¡¯s recent actions. Yes, he might...? So the reason he was nice was because...? JiKyung interrupted my train of thought.


    [No. He wouldn¡¯t. If it was someone else, maybe. But not my brother.]


    ¡°What does that mean?¡±


    [My brother, has high standards.]


    I felt small at JiKyung¡¯s politely toned answer.


    [Don¡¯t misunderstand and hear me out, AhJung. I¡¯m not saying that your not great or anything. I¡¯m just saying my brother¡¯s standards are unbelievably high.]


    ¡°How unbelievably high could it be?¡±


    [It¡¯s...well it¡¯s not you.]


    ¡°Yeah, so how high are we talking?¡± I asked because I was truly curious. I wanted to know what type of girl Lee JiHan liked.


    [Actually, I don¡¯t exactly know either. I¡¯m just assuming. There wasn¡¯t a single girl that he ever liked.]


    ¡°Not one?¡±


    [Not one.]


    ¡°He¡¯s not gay too is he?¡±


    [I would know. And he¡¯s not. He just has high standards.]


    Then I guess he wouldn¡¯t like me...


    ¡°Then if he doesn¡¯t like me, why did he buy me all those flowers?¡±


    [Who did? JiHan? He bought them for you?] JiKyung asked in a tone of disbelief.


    ¡°Yep. For me. After I finished the y, he gave me two bouquets and a basket of flowers.¡± Reminiscing, I counted them off one by one on my fingers.


    [That doesn¡¯t sound like him....]


    ¡°And he patted my head in the dressing room andplimented my acting. And uh...told me I was cute.¡± I blushed intensely as I remembered the best part of yesterday.


    [Are you sure you weren¡¯t dreaming?]


    ¡°Yeah, it was like a dream...¡± I answered in a daze, then jumped as I realized what I¡¯d said. ¡°Oh, no, it¡¯s not a dream. It happened.¡±


    [My brother would never do that. Why would he do that? Like he has feelings for you...] Lee JiKyung mumbled as if trying to understand some rare mystery.


    ¡°See?¡± I asked brightly. ¡°Don¡¯t you think he might like me?¡±


    The door bolted open and my head snapped around in surprise. I saw JiHan watching me from the open door. Did he hear what I just said? I quickly thought up excuses to cover if he did hear me. First, I spoke into the phone.


    ¡°I love you too, JiKyung,¡± I said in a loud voice.


    [Why¡¯s your voice like that all of a sudden? It¡¯s giving me goosebumps.]


    ¡°No, no. I like you more. I miss you...¡±


    Like thunder, the door mmed shut. Frightened by the sound, I turned to find that Lee JiHan had left. I sighed in relief.


    [JiHan came in, didn¡¯t he?]


    ¡°Yeah. He just left,¡± I answered in a whisper.


    [But why did he m the door so hard when he left?]


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, I guess he¡¯s still angry that I lied to him yesterday at the sauna.¡±


    [Now that I think about it, he dragged you back to the house when you said you wanted to go elsewhere and the way he¡¯s acting around you is weird too...something¡¯s up.] JiKyung said quietly in contemtion.


    [But he does not like you as a girl.]


    ¡°Really?¡± I pouted, a bit disappointed.


    [He¡¯s probably just being nice to you as a person and he brought you back to the house so he can disprove of us more efficiently.]


    ¡°Then what Lee JiHan said to Lim DaeChul...about me liking him...¡±


    [You said that part¡¯s probably a lie. That he was scamming me.]


    ¡°Couldn¡¯t it be true?¡±


    [You just said a minute ago that he¡¯s scamming me so we would fight with each other.]


    ¡°Oh...I did say that, didn¡¯t I.¡± I sat crouched with my face buried in my knees.


    With the smallest of hopes, I asked him cautiously, ¡°If it was true, then your brother liking me...might also be true, right?¡±


    JiKyung remained quiet at my question. Finally he spoke.


    [My brother would never say something like that. Never.] Lee JiKyung told me confidently as if even thinking such a thing was unimaginable.

 Chapter 26

    <h4>Chapter 26</h4>


    After I hung up, I sat crouched, lost in thought. It wouldn¡¯t be worth asking him, right? Just like JiKyung said, there is no way Lee JiHan likes me. How could he possibly like someone like me? What do I have? I hugged my knees and nodded to myself. There¡¯s nothing to ask. And nothing to expect.


    The moment I came to that conclusion, Lee JiHan opened my door and entered my room.


    ¡°Who were you talking to for so long?¡± he asked me as if offended.


    I stared at my toes trying to avoid his gaze. ¡°I was talking to JiKyung.¡±


    ¡°At seven in the morning?¡± JiHan reprimanded sharply.


    ¡°There¡¯s a time difference so...but what are you doing up so early? Did you need me for something?¡± I asked JiHan, suddenly intrigued.


    ¡°To see you.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I came to check if you were still in the room. That¡¯s what I meant.¡±


    Imprisonment. I curled up into a ball as fear overtook me. JiHan grabbed my arms and unraveled me, then turned me to face him. I froze, suddenly facing him with my arms wide open. He shoved the teddy bear into my arms. Then likest night, rewrapped my arms around the teddy bear.


    ¡°Starting now, this is the position you are required to be in, in this room.¡±


    I looked up at him with the bear in my arms. Lee JiHan was about to leave the room with his arms crossed but he stopped. He turned in the middle of the room and looked at the canopy, my face, the pajamas I was wearing, and the teddy bear in my arms. With a pleased expression, he nodded his head in approval.


    ¡°Now it looks like a room a girl is living in.¡±


    You mean it looks like a room a princess is living in. Where did he get this idea about girls? In a fairy tale?


    I was muttering to myself when Lee JiHan walked to the closet.


    ¡°I bought that for you to hug, so keep hugging it. Don¡¯t stick it in the closet, and don¡¯t throw it around anywhere else.¡±


    He opened the closet door and looked through the new clothes like he was counting to see if any had gone missing. After looking at each piece, he took out a dress and held it up for me to see.


    ¡°You will wear this today.¡± Lee JiHan ced the dress in front of me.


    ¡°Am I going somewhere today?¡±


    I thought the point of imprisonment was that I was banned from leaving. He nodded at my question. Then he checked the time and opened his mouth to speak.


    ¡°First, you have a skincare appointment at 10:00am for two hours, then lunch, then at 2:00pm you will head over to the hair salon.¡±


    ¡°Huh? Why am I going to these ces all of a sudden?¡±


    ¡°Because your blind date is at 4:00pm. You should get ready,¡± JiHan said all too casually.


    ¡°My what?¡± I asked mistrusting my ears.


    With a strict expression, JiHan articted four words. ¡°Blind. Date. Four. PM.¡±


    ¡°Why am I going on a blind date?¡±


    ¡°You have to go, it¡¯s your date.¡±


    ¡°What?! I never agreed to this!¡± I retorted jumping up and down.


    Lee JiHan¡¯s expression didn¡¯t change one bit as he pushed me back down onto the bed. ¡°We have a lot to do today, so first, get some sleep and in an houre out to eat breakfast.¡±


    After saying only what he needed to say, he left the room without giving me a chance to respond.


    ***


    Lee JiHan


    After the skincare and hair appointment, we arrived at the cafe for the blind date at 3:50pm. Her date, JungHoon, had not arrived yet, so I sat Na AhJung down and pulled an empty chair up next to her. All morning, AhJung had looked like she¡¯d been chewing ss and even now in her seat, her expression remained the same.


    ¡°What¡¯s your problem?¡± I asked annoyed. ¡°I made you up from head to toe, I find a man for you, and he¡¯s not just any man either. He may not be up to my brother¡¯s standards but he¡¯s the most sessful out of everyone I know. He doesn¡¯t have as much gold in his fortune as I do, but he has a good amount. Shouldn¡¯t you be cheering right now instead of wearing that expression?¡±


    AhJung sighed at my criticism. ¡°I¡¯ve told you a million times,¡± she said. ¡°I never asked you for this. A blind date is for someone who does not have a fianc¨¦. So why am I being forced to go on one?¡±


    ¡°And I told you a million times, you will never marry my brother. So I will find the person you are meant to marry.¡±


    AhJung closed her eyes, bit her lip, and hit her chest in exasperation. Exasperated myself, I drank a ss of ice water that the waiter had put down in front of us. If I could tell her that my brother was gay, this marriage would end cleanly and easily. But I wasn¡¯t able to do that.


    ¡°Don¡¯t just say you don¡¯t want to and that you can¡¯t. Just give it a chance and meet a couple of guys.¡± Thinking that this was the best solution, I handed the menu Na AhJung. ¡°Pick a drink.¡±


    She didn¡¯t even look at the menu, just hung her head and scowled. This girl. Fighting off a scowl myself, I heard a voice in front of me.


    ¡°You¡¯re here already?¡±


    Turning my head, I found JungHoon standing there.


    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s been a while.¡± With my eyes still on JungHoon, I poked AhJung in the ribs with my elbow. ¡°Say hello. This is Hyun JungHoon. My friend.¡±


    Na AhJung lifted her head and made eye contact with JungHoon. He sat down across the table and greeted her.


    ¡°Hi. My name is Hyung JungHoon.¡±


    ¡°Hi...¡± AhJung tipped her head in greeting without energy. I kicked her in the knee from under the table. She turned her head and red at me. I threatened her with my eyes.


    ¡°If you¡¯re not even going to try, I¡¯m not going through with the fair y deal. Do you want to see what dirty y looks like?¡± I hissed.


    AhJung looked scared at the prospect and shook her head.


    ¡°Then get your act together. Just believe that this man is your golden ax, and you have to make this golden ax fall into yourke to live a full and happy life. Go through this date with that kind of mindset.¡±


    AhJung turned her head toward JungHoon at my persistentmentary. With a forced cheerful voice, she raised her hand and replied.


    ¡°I, Na AhJung, will do my best!¡±


    ***


    While I ordered the coffee and stopped by the bathroom, AhJung did not run away and stayed in her seat with JungHoon. With her shoulders tense and her hands gripping tightly onto her drink, she chewed nervously on the tip of her straw. As I approached them from behind, I heard JungHoon speak.


    ¡°I thought this was a blind date,¡± he said. ¡°I think I¡¯ve made a mistake.¡±


    ¡°Sorry?¡± AhJung answered.


    ¡°Lee JiHan said you were someone worthwhile so I didn¡¯t even ask for details knowing how high his standards are. But...well...¡± JungHoon shook his head in disbelief and drank his ice water.


    ¡°You¡¯re right...it must be disappointing.¡± Na AhJung hung her head as if she wasn¡¯t worthwhile. ¡°I know I shouldn¡¯t be here.¡±


    I became angry seeing AhJung mumble self-consciously. Frowning, I swiftly approached the table.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t make a mistake. This is a blind date and this girl is worthwhile,¡± I shouted at JungHoon.


    AhJung stared at me with wide eyes. JungHoon cocked his head to one side in confusion.


    ¡°Did you hear something different about this girl than she told me?¡± JungHoon asked.


    I turned my head toward Na AhJung. ¡°What did you tell him?¡±


    ¡°I only introduced myself. As I am,¡± she answered with her head hung low. At this, JungHoon interrupted.


    ¡°33 years old and a no-name theater actress, her father a security guard. Is this the same as what you know?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± I replied to JungHoon. ¡°But as you can see, she looks way younger than you. And she may not be famous, but she acts better than anyone.¡± I looked into JungHoon¡¯s eyes and retorted confidently. JungHoon snorted and turned his head. ¡°The things you mentioned may make her a little less satisfying but that doesn¡¯t make her a bad catch,¡± I went on. ¡°Despite these things, she¡¯s a good catch, I guarantee it.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s so great about her that it surpasses all the other things I mentioned? What, is she good at night time activities?¡± Skeptically, JungHoon nced at Na AhJung¡¯s breasts. ¡°It sure doesn¡¯t look like it. If that¡¯s the case, you should have told me she was looking for a sponsor, not a date.¡±


    ¡°Sponsor? Is that what I think it is?¡± Offended, I scowled at him, and JungHoon returned the scowl.


    ¡°Of course that¡¯s what it means! Lee JiHan, I knew you didn¡¯t date seriously and y by yourself a lot but I didn¡¯t realize you were so dense. How could you bring a girl like that to see me? I¡¯m the son of a corporate constructionpany. It would be a waste even if you brought a famous 23-year-old actress!¡±


    Even though my head was exploding with anger, AhJung sat there listening to these words calmly. She was twiddling with a piece of tissue and sitting dejectedly.


    Ah! This girl is driving me crazy! I felt like I had swallowed lighter fluid on top of my ming rage, and so unable to fight it any longer, I yelled at AhJung.


    ¡°You just sit there as he says these things to you?¡±


    Na AhJung looked up at me confused. ¡°Why...it¡¯s true...¡±


    ¡°Whether it¡¯s true or not, doesn¡¯t it hurt your pride? Are you just watching the mes from afar even when it¡¯s about you? You should stand up and p him across the face, or throw a ss of water!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not that offended,¡± AhJung replied calmly, as if not feeling much of anything at the moment.


    ¡°It offends me, me!¡± I yelled.


    They say the one who is thirsty digs the well. Since I was the one burning up I decided to take action. I grabbed the water cup in front of Na AhJung and threw it at JungHoon.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡± AhJung said in a small voice.


    Ignoring her, I went over to JungHoon and grabbed his arm, dragging him out of the caf¨¦.


    ***


    I dragged JungHoon to the bathroom so AhJung couldn¡¯t follow. In front of the sink, I let go of his arm.


    ¡°Lee JiHan! Are you crazy?¡± JungHoon red at me with his drenched face.


    ¡°I¡¯m not crazy enough to utter indecencies in front of a person I¡¯ve just met.¡±


    ¡°Hey, me marrying a girl like that is crazy. Why in the world are you thinking of setting me up with a girl like that?¡±


    My face was an inch away from JungHoon¡¯s face as I stared him down. ¡°You, do you even know how much that girl can make a person feel good about himself?¡±


    JungHoon stared at me incredulously, wondering what I was jabbering about.


    ¡°For the past month, I¡¯ve smiled because of her every day, three meals a day. Do you know how hard that is? You can¡¯t buyughter with money. Three times a day is standard, but there are more days that Iugh even more than that.¡± I looked back on my days with AhJung and became sure of this fact. ¡°If you live with that girl, you canugh every day of your life.¡±


    JungHoon watched me quietly, then spoke.


    ¡°Who cares? It¡¯s more important that she¡¯s pretty and has a nice body.¡±


    ¡°That girl is pretty too!¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°If you keep seeing her, she¡¯s pretty! She¡¯s prettier now than the first time I met her! She gets prettier and prettier each time I see her, there¡¯s no limit to her beauty!¡±


    Unable to control my anger, I spilled everything in my head without thinking. JungHoon shook his head pityingly.


    ¡°Hey, tell me the truth. You¡¯ve never found any girl pretty in your life, but you are saying that girl over there is pretty?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I am! You think any old actress is pretty so you should be fawning over her right now!¡±


    ¡°I think your eyes are broken.¡± JungHoon looked me up and down, unable to believe what he was hearing.


    ¡°Her face is one thing but what are you going to do about those breasts? If I keep seeing her, do those get bigger too?¡±


    ¡°Forget it, you jerk! I won¡¯t give her to you even if you want her. If I knew you were this type of person, I would never have introduced her to you.¡±


    ¡°So you¡¯re saying they won¡¯t get bigger.¡± JungHoon snorted sarcastically.


    ¡°I¡¯m saying she¡¯s too good for you.¡±


    ¡°Yeah right. You can ask a hundred people on the street. Ask them who¡¯s too good for who.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t care what a hundred people think! What I think won¡¯t change. That girl is pretty and makes a person feel good, and is a wonderful actress. If anyone had believed in her and given her a chance, she would have been sessful. That girl is a hundred,no, a thousand times too good for you. I¡¯m going to give that girl to a man who will see her potential and support her!¡±


    JungHoon, having heard enough, shook his head. ¡°If she¡¯s so great, why don¡¯t you just live with her!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m already living with her you jerk face!¡± I yelled at JungHoon¡¯s back.

 Chapter 27

    <h4>Chapter 27</h4>


    When I returned to the cafe, AhJung was no longer there. Not again! Where did she disappear to this time? I stalked over to the table with the intention of going after her. As I went to grab my phone from the table, I felt a presence at my feet. I looked under the table and saw AhJung there. She was crouched on the floor wiping the spilled water with a stack of napkins.


    ¡°What are you doing down there?¡± I asked. Frowning at the ridiculousness of it, I pushed away the table that was blocking AhJung from view.


    ¡°I was just wiping the water off the floor,¡± she said tearfully.


    ¡°Why are you wiping the water I threw?¡±


    ¡°Uh, it¡¯s...I just got used to wiping the bathroom floor for thest month. I was afraid the tiles here would get dirty too.¡±


    AhJung looked back down and rubbed in between the tiles. I became so infuriated by this sight that I reprimanded her severely.


    ¡°Why are you making a fuss over a couple of drops?¡±


    ¡°Because you made a fuss about a couple of drops,¡± AhJung retorted, then froze realizing what she said.


    ¡°That¡¯s when I was making you do it!¡± Angrily, I grabbed Na AhJung¡¯s shoulder and made her stand up. ¡°Now, you should be telling the employees to do it!¡± I said shaking her.


    ¡°We¡¯re the ones who spilled it...¡±


    ¡°Waiter!¡± I yelled for the waiter in the far corner. An employee who was doing something else at the counter saw us and came running.


    ¡°Where do you get your coffee from?¡± I asked the employee.


    ¡°Excuse me? Uh, it¡¯s¡ª¡±


    I opened my mouth, not letting the employee continue his stuttering. ¡°Did you pluck it off the coffee trees from the moon?¡±


    ¡°Sorry?¡±


    ¡°Based on its taste, it looks to be from Ethiopia or Guatem. You seem to be using the same beans as other caf¨¦s yet when they charge $5 you charge us $20. There must be a reason.¡±


    The employee stared at me, not knowing what I was hoping to hear.


    ¡°I think that the $20 includes the taste and service of the ce, so don¡¯t you think it¡¯s necessary to at least do one of those things? Make it taste good, help a customer if she is wiping water off the floor.¡± I pointed at the floor with my finger, my eyes zing.


    The employee finally seemed to understand and nodded quickly. ¡°Oh, yes, we¡¯ll clean it up right away.¡±


    The employee rushed to the counter and went to the storage closet. Seeing this, I turned my attention back to AhJung.


    ¡°The coffee I paid for includes this sort of service. I didn¡¯t ask for something that was not on the menu, nor did I ask them to make me coffee from peas. I¡¯m just telling them to clean up the mess they will eventually clean upter, now. So why are you crouching down there and doing that alone? Let¡¯s live knowing your rights, please!¡±


    After reprimanding her sharply, I grabbed Na AhJung by the arm and left the cafe.


    ***


    Up until the moment, we arrived back at the house, my lecture continued.


    ¡°Why do youck such confidence? Why didn¡¯t you throw water in that jerk¡¯s face and just sit there? How could you not be angry when he disrespected you like that?¡±


    Throughout my speech, AhJung wore an expression of confusion. Her eyes were narrow and her lips pouted. Then, as if the situation seemed to be making less and less sense to her, she frowned even more and tilted her head back and forth.


    Having arrived in the living room, I stopped AhJung and poked at her temple. ¡°What are you thinking in here, let¡¯s at least hear it.¡±


    ¡°You won¡¯t want to hear it.¡± She watched me hesitantly with scared eyes.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be the judge of whether I¡¯ll like what I hear or not. I might not like it, but maybe I will. The possibility is half and half. If you don¡¯t say anything, however, then there¡¯s a 100% chance I won¡¯t be happy. Can you calcte which one is the better option?¡±


    ¡°If I tell you, will you go easy on me?¡±


    ¡°Go easy on you?¡±


    ¡°Even if it¡¯s something bad, will you not be so scary about it.¡±


    ¡°Fine.¡± As I epted her offer, Na AhJung swallowed nervously and with a new determination, opened her mouth.


    ¡°You are angry at what that man said about me but you treated me like that before too. You acted like there¡¯s nothing about me worth seeing, and you couldn¡¯t understand why your brother would like someone like me. You said I was dirtying your pure brother¡¯s family name.¡±


    I did. That¡¯s true, I did say those things. I was lost for words remembering the harsh things I had said. AhJung continued quietly with a meek expression.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t think much about it back then. Because to a point, it was true. In anyone¡¯s eyes, JiKyung was too good for me. And now, it¡¯s the same. It¡¯s not like I suddenly got better, I¡¯m still the same. But back then, you thought it was obvious that I should ept this fact and now you think that there¡¯s something wrong with me acting like this. I can¡¯t understand it. It was right back then but wrong now?¡±


    In my entire life, had never been at a loss for words for more than ten seconds, but frustratingly enough, I had nothing to say after ten and even twenty seconds. Even after AhJung left the room to take a call I was still speechless. I stood there numbly. Why, for what reason, was I getting so angry? However much I thought about it, I couldn¡¯t find the answer, so I walked to my room toward my bed. I needed a ce to lie down and think.


    ***


    The music I chose to apany me as Iid in my bed was Beethoven¡¯s symphony. I was hoping the dramatic music would seep into my brain and wake it up. I listened to it intently, thinking with all my might.


    I know my brother is gay, but Na AhJung doesn¡¯t. She believes that my brother loves her, and that is why they can¡¯t get married. Yes. That is why I am feeling guilty toward Na AhJung. That much is obvious. That makes sense. That¡¯s why I want to treat her nicely and to repent for what I did to her previously.


    But my anger over another guy disrespecting AhJung didn¡¯t make sense. Even if she was being fooled by my brother, AhJung was still AhJung. She was not suddenly family or anything. Like she said, nothing about her had changed. What did it matter if someone elseined about the same things I did about her? Why does that make me angry?


    I tried to decipher the reasoning behind my anger by going over the situation again. As I remembered Hyun JungHoon¡¯s words, fire rose up in me again. Whoa, what is wrong with me? I shot up from the bed. This is not obvious! This doesn¡¯t make sense! Why am I getting angry at what happened to Na AhJung? As if someone was criticizing my cooking...wait. My cooking? My only budding unfulfilled dream? Am I putting Na AhJung on the same level as my dream? Aha!


    As the answer popped into my head, I pped my hands together. My cooking never got a chance to be acknowledged. No one knew how much I liked it and how good I was at it. AhJung was the same. She never got the chance to be acknowledged, like my cooking. I know my cooking¡¯s true potential. I know Na AhJung¡¯s true potential. Both never got a good chance to be acknowledged. So it is reasonable to be angry at Hyun JungHoon. He was unable to see the hidden beauty when I shoved it right under his nose. He never gave AhJung a chance to bloom. I should have put a hole through that thick skull of his.


    I frowned, grinding my teeth. Yes. Both were my budding flowers. If there was a difference, my cooking was a flower bud I had given up on, and Na AhJung was someone I was trying to help bloom by finding the right man. I nodded in understanding and picked up the phone. Thinking was not enough. I needed to find a man as soon as possible. A man who would make Na AhJung bloom. Someone as good as my brother, but someone who could love her in a way my brother never could.


    I checked the contacts on my phone as I set my goal. Mother, JiKyung, skip them. Hyun JungHoon, erase that jerk. And the rest of them...staring at the few lines of phone numbers, I frowned in frustration. These guys are no better than Hyun JungHoon. Out of these guys, JungHoon was the best choice! Shit, I¡¯ve lived in vain!


    Feeling like my past life had been a waste, I threw the cellphone on top of the nket. All my phone contacts are useless. I¡¯ll just have to look elsewhere. While contemting my options, my eyes suddenly widened as an idea hit me. If none of my friends work, maybe I can find someone from my mother¡¯s friends.


    I picked up the phone and got up from the bed. First, let¡¯s go to my mother¡¯s house and find her contact book. I turned off the music with the remote, collected my car keys and ced them in my pocket. Then I checked the time as I left the room. 6:00pm. My mother wouldn¡¯t be home and her contact list was in the library.


    I ran through the hallway while going over the n, but stopped in front of the kitchen. Gazing at the kitchen, I realized AhJung hadn¡¯t had dinner yet. Oh. I should make dinner for this girl before I leave. I turned and headed to the kitchen.


    Like a mother cooking an extravagant meal for her child who was going away, I scanned the ingredients in the fridge to figure out what I could make that AhJung would enjoy the most. If I have to make it anyways, might as well make something noteworthy. What does AHJung like most?


    I shbacked to the hundred meals I had prepared for her and her reactions to each of them. She had made a fuss each time, loving every bite. Out of those times, which one made her look the prettiest? I was now looking into my head instead of the fridge. As difficult as it was to say which of my meals was the best, AhJung¡¯s reaction to them was just as difficult to filter through. She was always pretty during those times.


    She is pretty in these situations. Hyun JungHoon would never know that. Aha! What if I cook for them here when she¡¯s meeting the new guy? I¡¯ll invite him over and they can have their date here.


    I took out some veggies and beef and ced them on the counter. Then I washed my hands thoroughly in the sink. I started to imagine the scene ying out with AhJung, the new man for her date, and my well-prepared meal. Yes. This n is perfect. But for this to work, I¡¯ll have to find a man. Taking the knife in my hands, I started to peel the onions. But is there a man that is as sessful as my brother? And he has to have a lot of gold in his fortune. Is there such a man? Someone as well off as my brother with gold in his fortune...and he has to see Na AhJung for the best that she is. I peeled the thin skin of the onion with my knife then suddenly stopped. A thought popped into my head and I said it out loud.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t that me?¡±


    As if hit by a revtion, Beethoven¡¯s symphony rang through my head.


    (Wedding Impossible continues in Book 2)

 Chapter 28

    <h4>Chapter 28</h4>


    BOOK TWO


    Na AhJung


    JiKyungughed hysterically upon hearing that his brother had set me up on a blind date. After a long time, he was finally able to calm down enough to tell me that this must mean his brother did not have feelings for me.


    He was probably right. What kind of person sets up a person they like on a blind date? It was as ridiculous as a brother and sister-inw falling for each other.


    &quot;But why did he act like that? He threw a ss of water onto my blind date¡¯s face because he said some rude things to me.&quot;


    [That¡¯s because his main purpose was to have it work out with your blind date. He blew his top because it didn¡¯t go as nned. &quot;Na AhJung should be marrying you, not my brother. How dare you act contrary to my ns, I¡¯ll never forgive you.&quot; That kind of mindset.]


    Of course, Lee JiHan never liked me. I kept reminding myself of this fact as I ended the call with JiKyung. When I slipped out of my room, Lee JiHan was no longer in the living room.


    I was still waiting to hear what was wrong about my reaction during the date. JiHan must have gone back to his room while I had been on the phone.


    As if confirming my assumption, I could hear the sound of Beethoven filtering out through his door. Anyone would have recognized it as Beethoven, but I was especially familiar since JiHan yed it all the time.


    There wasn¡¯t any point in hearing his answer. It wasn¡¯t as if he liked me. JiKyung was probably right.


    I went back to my room pouting. Then feeling drained of all energy, I plopped onto my bed.


    When I opened my eyes again, my body was shaking back and forth.


    Is it an earthquake?! Suddenly wide awake, I heard Lee JiHan yelling at me.


    &quot;How can you sleep at a time like this?&quot;


    &quot;What, I wasn¡¯t asleep!&quot; I answered clumsily as I shot upright.


    I saw that Lee JiHan was sitting on the edge of the bed in front of me. The shaking I associated with an earthquake had stopped. It seemed as though it was not due to an earthquake Lee JiHan shaking me awake.


    He looked irritable as he sat there with his arms crossed doing nothing but staring at me.


    &quot;Why aren¡¯t you saying anything?&quot; I asked, having assumed he would continue nagging.


    But Lee JiHan didn¡¯t reply and continued to just watch me.


    Oh, is he ming me for messing up the blind date?


    Feeling scared and insecure, I folded my hands together and hung my head. I twiddled my thumbs together nervously. JiHan let out an exasperated sigh.


    &quot;I can¡¯t believe you look so pretty after just waking up,&quot; he mumbled to himself.


    I overheard him and looked up in confusion.


    &quot;What? What did you say?&quot;


    &quot;Eat first before you go to sleep,&quot; JiHan told me, totally ignoring my question. Then he got up from the bed. &quot;Wipe up your drool ande to the kitchen.&quot; With those parting words, he stepped out of the room


    Drool? Did I drool? I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. Lee JiHan wasn¡¯t kidding. I felt the wetness along my mouth. Ah! I can¡¯t believe he saw me like this! Embarrassed, I wiped vigorously with the end of my sleeve.


    ***


    The moment I began to gnaw at the ribs JiHan had made, I forgot all about my drooling and resorted to spitting all over the ce.


    &quot;What in the world! These are not your normal galbi ribs. This isn¡¯t gal-B, this is gal-A. No, this is gal-A-plus!&quot;


    I talked and ate maniacally. My mouth was so busy, I didn¡¯t have a chance to spare a look at JiHan. Only once the ribs were all gone did I finally look up from my te. I rubbed my stomach in satisfaction and looked up him. He was staring at me intently with his arms crossed. I looked down at my te full of bones then looked at JiHan¡¯s empty te across from mine. It looked like he didn¡¯t even touch the food. If he wasn¡¯t even going to eat, why was he sitting there without a single word? As I wondered this, he spoke.


    &quot;Have you been diligently carrying around that talisman you receivedst time from the fortune teller?&quot;


    &quot;Talisman? Oh, that...&quot;


    It was supposed to bring me luck or whatever. The fortune-teller had given it to me for free. Where did I leave that? I¡¯m pretty sure I didn¡¯t take it out of my bag...that bag...


    &quot;Ah! It¡¯s still in the bag. But I left the bag at the sauna when you dragged me out of there.&quot;


    &quot;I made sure to collect your bag then.&quot;


    &quot;Really?&quot; I asked relieved.


    JiHan, with eyes like a hawk, started interrogating me.


    &quot;I¡¯m going to check. If the talisman is in that bag or not.&quot;


    &quot;Oh, go ahead, look. It¡¯s definitely in there,&quot; I replied with confidence.


    Lee JiHan got up from his seat and went to his room. A few momentster, he returned with my bag. He ced the bag on the table and pushed it toward me.


    &quot;Open it yourself and take it out. Searching through a girl¡¯s bag is bad manners.&quot;


    &quot;Will do.&quot;


    Without thinking much about it, I put my hand into the bag. Suddenly, JiHan grabbed the bag and pulled it to his side. With a disgusted face, he pointed to my hands.


    &quot;How could you touch your bag with the fingers you just ate ribs with? Are you even...&quot;


    Getting ready for another onught I cringed, but Lee JiHan¡¯s scolding suddenly stopped. Wondering what happened, I looked up to find him with his eyes closed and taking a deep breath to pray for patience. A few momentster, JiHan opened his eyes and looked at me.


    &quot;Let¡¯s wash your hands and then touch the bag.&quot;


    I nodded and headed to the sink. So he could see, I washed my hands thoroughly with soap. Like a baby getting checked to make sure her hands were washed before a meal. JiHan continued to nag from behind me.


    &quot;You should wash your hands before and after a meal. And when you¡¯ve been out, you should wash your hands and feet right afterward.&quot;


    Must I, at this age, be treated like a little kid by a guy that is five years younger than me? Even my mother was not like this!


    Muttering to myself, I turned off the faucet. Finally, I was able to go back to the table and open my bag. I didn¡¯t even have to dig through it, I saw the talisman the moment I opened the bag. I took out the talisman and showed it to JiHan proudly. Seeing this, he frowned.


    &quot;You¡¯re not supposed to just throw this around however you like. You should fold it up nicely and keep it in your wallet.&quot; He stole the talisman from my hand and folded it neatly. &quot;Don¡¯t lose it anywhere and make sure you keep it with you at all times.&quot; He handed it back.


    I couldn¡¯t understand his obsession with the thing. I refused to receive it from him.


    &quot;Are you sure this is for good luck?&quot; I asked skeptically. &quot;It¡¯s not something that will make me fall out of love with the man I¡¯m going to marry, is it?&quot;


    &quot;It¡¯s the opposite of that.&quot;


    &quot;What?&quot;


    JiHan grabbed my wrist and pulled it towards him. Then he flipped my palm so it faced the sky. He ced the talisman into my hands.


    &quot;I promise you. This will ensure the best of luck in your life.&quot; JiHan ced his palm over mine and folded each finger until I held it in my fist. &quot;This is, in fact, the lucky talisman. If this works, I¡¯m going to go back to that fortune-teller and genuflect.&quot;


    &quot;If I end up getting lucky, you¡¯re going to go and genuflect? To the fortune teller?&quot; I asked doubtfully.


    &quot;If it¡¯s the luck I am hoping for,&quot; JiHan said adding a condition.


    &quot;What are you hoping for?&quot;


    &quot;It doesn¡¯t make sense now.&quot;


    &quot;What?&quot;


    &quot;Once it makes sense, I will tell you.&quot; JiHan smiled mysteriously as if he held a deep secret and didn¡¯t say another word.


    His hands were still wrapped around my fist. I wasn¡¯t sure if it was just the warmth from his hand, but his expression, which had always been so cold, suddenly felt warm also. I wasn¡¯t scared, but my heart started to beat faster.


    &quot;The luck you are hoping for...is it something that¡¯s good for you? If it¡¯s worth bowing to someone over...&quot;


    &quot;It¡¯s much better for you,&quot; JiHan emphasized. &quot;But I want it for you.&quot;


    Still holding my hand, he lifted his other hand and ced it on top of my head.


    &quot;I want to see you happy,&quot; he said as if pledging on a Bible.


    Then he petted my head. My heart was beating as if someone was following me. I didn¡¯t know what I was supposed to do at this moment, and meanwhile, my face started burning red again. I slipped my hands out of JiHan¡¯s and yelled.


    &quot;Bathroom, bathroom!&quot;


    Extremely urgent for apletely different reason, I ran to the bathroom.


    ***


    Nobody was watching me, but I still hid behind the toilet as I took out my phone. Afraid my voice would echo, I decided to text instead. I sent JiKyung a message about the current situation and asked for an exnation.


    Now what is this? He¡¯s wishing me luck? He wants to see me be happy. What is this? What does this mean?


    JiKyung answered back almost immediately.


    [He¡¯s just really hoping that you will find someone else other than me and he wants you to be happy with that person. You went on a blind date for goodness sake and you still don¡¯t get it?]


    &quot;Ohh!&quot; As if struck by an epiphany I eximed out loud.


    [I told you already. My brother has high standards. So quit misunderstanding the situation.]


    Misunderstanding? What misunderstanding?


    [Stop thinking that he¡¯s doing this because he likes you.]


    I didn¡¯t think that.


    [Good. Don¡¯t think it in the future either.]


    This sounded like he was telling me to quit dreaming, JiHan would never fall for me...


    &quot;What, I¡¯m not even allowed to misunderstand?&quot; I mumbled disgruntled at the screen. &quot;I can¡¯t even make assumptions without your permission?&quot;


    Feeling disheartened, I pouted in dismay as I replied.


    I¡¯m not going to. Never!


    I then shoved the phone back in my pocket and stood in front of the sink. My face was still blushing furiously. To cool down my cheeks, I turned on the cold water and filled my hands.


    ***


    I sshed cold water onto my face several times and decided to wash my makeup off entirely while I was at it. Once clean, I quietly slipped out of the bathroom. I shuffled past the hallway and stood at the door of my room as I heard soft music filtering out of JiHan¡¯s.


    I put my ear against his door and noticed that it was different from the one before. It was lyrical ssical music this time. Unlike the dramatic and dynamic Beethoven Symphony, this was the opposite, soft and romantic.


    What is this called...I¡¯m sure it¡¯s Vivaldi...


    I concentrated my attention more intently, pushing my ear up close against the door, the name of the song was at the tip of my tongue. Suddenly, from beside me, JiHan¡¯s voice interrupted me.


    &quot;And what do you think you¡¯re doing?&quot;


    I turned around frightened and found Lee JiHan standing next to me.


    &quot;Ah, why are you here?!&quot; I asked as I jumped back.


    &quot;Am I not allowed to be here? It¡¯s my room,&quot; JiHan retorted back incredulously.


    &quot;Uh, no you shouldn¡¯t. You left the music on that loud inside when you¡¯re out here? That¡¯s wasting electricity.&quot;


    I babbled on until JiHan shoved the teacup in his hand into my face.


    &quot;I wanted a cup of tea while I enjoyed the music so I went to the kitchen for a minute. I don¡¯t think I should have to listen to what I should or shouldn¡¯t be doing from you. You¡¯re not even my wife yet.&quot;


    &quot;Oh...that¡¯s true. It¡¯s not something I should get involved with.&quot; I nodded, not having much else to fight back with.


    True. It¡¯s not like I¡¯m his wife yet...huh? Yet? Why is &quot;yet&quot; in that sentence? I blinked rapidly at the strange addition of the word as JiHan questioned me.


    &quot;And why are you standing like this in front of my room?&quot;


    &quot;Oh, I was curious about the musicing from inside.&quot;


    I was telling the truth but for some reason, I was stuttering. And there goes my face again. Like someone who was lying, I couldn¡¯t look straight into JiHan¡¯s eyes and instead stared at the floor.


    &quot;It¡¯s Johann Pachelbel¡¯s Canon.&quot;


    I was sure it had been Vivaldi.


    I stood there bitterly at myck of musical knowledge when JiHan asked me another question.


    &quot;Do you like this music? So much so that it warranted you sticking to my door?&quot;


    I again nodded truthfully. I liked it so much that I had been immensely curious about its title, to the point where I was okay being one with the door.


    &quot;Then let¡¯s go inside and hear the rest of it.&quot;


    &quot;What?&quot;


    My head shot up and I stared at JiHan. He turned his doorknob, opened the door, and lead me inside. Not quite realizing what was happening, my legs seemed to follow him on their own.


    JiHan put down his teacup on the table and sat me in the chair next to it.


    &quot;I realize that your room doesn¡¯t have an audio set. I¡¯ll buy you one tomorrow. So until then, you can listen to it here today.&quot;


    &quot;No, it¡¯s alright. I don¡¯t need an audio set. You don¡¯t have to.&quot;


    &quot;I¡¯m buying it with my own money. I¡¯ll decide if I have to or not,&quot; JiHan cut me off coldly. Then he pushed the cup of tea in front of me. &quot;Drink this while you enjoy the music. I chose it especially because itplemented the music well.&quot;


    &quot;No, I¡¯m okay. You brought it so you can drink it.&quot;


    &quot;If you don¡¯t take what someone gives you, it¡¯s disrespectful,&quot; He said as he narrowed his eyes.


    Without another word, I took the cup of tea and ced it to my lips. The moment I finished swallowing the tea, I suddenly understood the meaning of what JiHan had said.


    &quot;Wow, this tea is perfect, it¡¯s just like the music!&quot; Fascinated, I took another sip of tea. &quot;Wow, are you Dae JangGeum? Ah, this insane sense of taste. Wow! I don¡¯t know anything about ssical music or tea but I know one thing for certain. This tea tastes like this music.&quot;


    At my mboyant musings, JiHan looked at me with a satisfied grin on his face, his chin supported by his hand. After my third sip of tea, he spoke.


    &quot;I think Canon expresses first love. I anticipated that this tea would give off a simr feeling.&quot;


    First love? On the fence about whether I understood him or not, I cocked my head in contemtion. At this, Lee JiHan looked towards the audio and spoke serenely.


    &quot;It¡¯s like the soft winter sun slowly melting the first snow of December, then as it all melts away, the warmth transpires to burning summer heat. First love is like that. At first, you don¡¯t know if this is love or not, then the moment you realize it is, the feelings explode within you like a heatwave.&quot;


    I nodded as I listened to the soft melody of the Canon¡¯s beginning to the quickening drama of its climax.


    &quot;If that¡¯s what you believe first love is, then this music and tea, both give off that feeling.&quot;


    Although to know if it was true, I would have had to experience first love. I thought to myself as I drank another sip of tea. But Lee JiHan shook his head.


    &quot;That¡¯s not what I think first love is like.&quot;


    &quot;What?&quot;


    &quot;It¡¯s how I feel about my first love.&quot;


    I froze at his unexpected response. Is he saying that he¡¯s having feelings of first love right now? For whom?


    Unable to say a word, all I did was continue staring at Lee Jihan. All of a sudden, his phone started to ring. He took out the phone from his pocket, checked the caller ID and picked up the call.


    &quot;Yes. Is it ready?&quot;


    He listened to the caller¡¯s response. I sat there sipping my tea, unable to hear who was on the other side of the line. JiHan nced over then held his gaze as he answered.


    &quot;Then we¡¯ll leave right now. I¡¯m in somewhat of a hurry.&quot;


    JiHan hung up the phone suddenly and stood up.


    &quot;You¡¯ve eaten dinner and had your tea, so let¡¯s change into your pajamas, hug your teddy bear and go lie down in your bed,&quot; hemanded.


    &quot;Already?&quot;


    &quot;I need to go out and I¡¯ll be backte. So don¡¯t go wandering off again and just go to sleep,&quot; he warned me strictly then pet my head again as if to confirm that I must.

 Chapter 29

    <h4>Chapter 29</h4>


    Left all alone, Iy in my bed with my arms around my teddy bear. Lee JiHan kept talking about his first love, could that be me? No, he¡¯s been spending all his time with only me for thest month. If it¡¯s not me, then who could it be? I was around and awake this whole time, so when and how did he ever meet another girl?


    I narrowed my eyes in concentration as I shed through JiHan¡¯s actions. There was no way it could be another girl. I started to chew my fingernails.


    When I finally snapped out of it, I realized I had my teddy bear in a headlock. I released my suffocating hold on the bear and whacked myself on the head with its cuddly paws.


    ¡°AhJung, wake up!¡± I said out loud. There is no way Lee JiHan¡¯s first love is you. Being stuck in a princess room, you¡¯re starting to think like you¡¯re actually a princess or something. What are you thinking? Ah, but you never know?


    As if flipping a pancake, I changed my mind back and forth. I grabbed the phone near my head and started typing a message on the keyboard to JiKyung. In the midst of it, my eyes caught sight of his previous message to me.


    [I told you already. My brother has high standards. So quit misunderstanding the situation.]


    After reading the message, I concluded that my asking again would lead to the same answer. I realized that this was probably the reality of the situation.


    Forget it, let¡¯s just sleep instead of getting your hopes up for nothing. I¡¯d rather sleep so I don¡¯t have to think about anything.


    I turned my back towards the door, cradled my entire body around the teddy bear, closed my eyes and fell asleep.


    ***


    Lee JiHan


    How many girls would be happy to find out that their future brother-inw liked them? No. Let¡¯s not think about other girls, only think of AhJung.


    Na AhJung loved my brother. It wasn¡¯t an arranged marriage, but one where she actually loved him. If I suddenly got in the middle of it and shoved my feelings in her face, would she take it? No, could she even believe it? I liked her. It even sounded ridiculous to me, so it would be practically impossible to think that AhJung would believe it. She doesn¡¯t even believe in the fair y pact I made with her.


    ¡°So what? Did youe here to ask me for a talisman that will make the girl fall for you this time?¡± asked the fortune-teller sitting across me, interrupting my thoughts.


    ¡°No. If her feelings for my brother disappear, then there¡¯s no reason she won¡¯t ept me. I can make her fall for me on my own so the talisman she has is already plenty,¡± I answered, remembering the talisman that was meant to erase AhJung¡¯s feelings for my brother.


    ¡°Then why did youe here? Do you want to know what your future is like with the girl?¡±


    ¡°I can decide my own future. Even if you say it won¡¯t work, I¡¯ll make it work.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll make it work, even if I say it won¡¯t?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    The fortune-teller frowned in disbelief at my straightforward answer.


    ¡°Then why did you bothering here?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve already decided the future so I want you to listen to it.¡±


    The fortune teller¡¯s expression crinkled even more. After staring at me for a long time, she spoke.


    ¡°You said that the girl won¡¯t even believe that you like her. So how will you make it work?¡±


    ¡°First, I¡¯m going to make that girl like herself,¡± I prophesied confidently with my arms crossed. ¡°In my opinion, this girl¡¯s main problem is that she doesn¡¯t like herself. She has to learn to love herself to believe that someone else could love her. It¡¯ll be like a self-esteem booster.¡±


    ¡°She doesn¡¯t like herself at 33 years old? With that personality, even her parents won¡¯t be able to fix her. How are you going to do it?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not that her parents couldn¡¯t fix it, it¡¯s that there were no parents present to fix it. Her mother passed away when she was young and she might have just not had a father.¡±


    Remembering the father that might as well not exist, I shed back to the memory of a couple of days ago.


    A few days ago, when I had gone looking for Na AhJung at her house, I found the living room redecorated with a sofa, table, and television that had not been there previously. When I had first seen that room, AhJung had been sleeping in that space. She hadn¡¯t even been officially married off and yet they had filled her old room with furniture that didn¡¯t even match as if they expected her to never return.


    For 15 years, Na AhJung had lived there, and now not a speck of her existence remained.


    Plus, upon hearing that AhJung couldn¡¯t be contacted, her father did not react at all to hearing that his daughter had gone missing. He didn¡¯t know where she might have gone, or who her close friends might be. He spoke of her as if it was someone else¡¯s daughter. That kind of father made that kind of daughter. It was textbook behavior.


    ¡°Yes. Na AhJung never had parents to do that for her. Someone who would love and trust her no matter what. She was a girl that never had that. That¡¯s why she fell for my brother so easily.¡± I nodded bitterly.


    AhJung had never had someone like my brother to trust and cheer her on back then.


    ¡°So, you¡¯re going to instill self-esteem into a girl that has none?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right.¡±


    ¡°How?¡±


    ¡°Before I came here, I met with a theater script writer. He¡¯s quite well known around these parts, and I asked him to write aic y with Na AhJung in mind.¡±


    ¡°Aic y with the girl in mind?¡±


    ¡°From what I see, AhJung¡¯s only problem is that she is living the life of someone in their 30s with the face of someone in their teens. The characters she can y are already limited but she keeps getting older. She can only y the parts of young girls but because of her age, she can¡¯tpete with the actual younger girls that rise inpetition.¡±


    ¡°It is a bit extreme. I thought she was a middle schooler.¡±


    ¡°So I suggested the part of a woman in her 30s who is cursed by her teen looking face. Aic y that will need a character that matches AhJung to the tee. I asked him to create it fast, within the month.¡±


    The fortune-teller gaped in surprise.


    ¡°AhJung¡¯s self-esteem will grow exponentially after finding sess. And as a bonus, I even hired a photographer. Someone to follow her around secretly like the paparazzi.¡±


    ¡°Paparazzi? What for?¡±


    ¡°So I can show her how pretty she looks regrly. I¡¯m going to show her through pictures.¡± I smiled at the n I had concocted in only a couple of hours.


    ¡°Huh...well, they say you never know what will happen to a person but this is really something.¡±


    The fortune-teller shook her head pityingly but I shook my head even harder inparison.


    ¡°Not just something, EVERYTHING. Whether you look at my family or my wealth. Whatever youpare, I am the loser of this love story.¡±


    ¡°At least you know that.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t be hung up on her family and riches. Me or my ancestors.¡±


    I nodded somewhat sadly, but stopped and looked at the fortune-teller sincerely.


    ¡°I still like this girl. She has no money or a good family, and she¡¯s old. But I don¡¯t care. It¡¯s like those things don¡¯t even matter. I really like this girl.¡±


    ¡°What do you like so much about her?¡±


    At the fortune-teller¡¯s question, the answer popped up immediately in my head. Before I had to even think about it, I realized that the answer was in the way I had reacted toward JungHoon.


    For the past month, I¡¯ve smiled because of her every day, three meals a day. Do you know how hard that is? You can¡¯t buyughter with money. Three times a day is standard, and there are more days that Iugh even more than that. I don¡¯t care what a hundred people think! What I think won¡¯t change. That girl is pretty and makes a person feel good, and is a wonderful actress. If anyone had believed in her and gave her a chance, she would have been sessful. So that girl is a hundred, thousand times too good for you. I¡¯m going to give that girl to a man who will see her potential and support her!


    Listening to the voice of my memory, I contemted my feelings. I smiled naturally at the thought.


    ¡°She makes meugh every day, and in my eyes, she¡¯s the prettiest person in the world, and she makes me feel good. Plus, I get excited thinking about how much she will grow when her potential is properly nurtured. It¡¯s just natural for me to like her.¡±


    The fortune-teller watched me silently for a long time. Then she shook her head and muttered.


    ¡°You¡¯re blinded, blinded.¡±


    ¡°I know. Blinded by those damn rose-colored sses.¡±


    ¡°At least if it¡¯s a ghost, I can get rid of it, but I can¡¯t do anything about that.¡±


    ¡°If it¡¯s a ghost then I would want to get rid of it, but I want to keep this. It has made me experience a lot more good things.¡±


    ¡°Good things?¡±


    ¡°I get happy when she looks pretty, and there are a lot more times that happens now. Just looking at her makes me happy.¡±


    The fortune-teller looked at me with curious eyes. Then nodded after a few minutes.


    ¡°If that¡¯s the case, then you should hold onto her. Okay, so first you will raise her self-esteem, then what¡¯s next?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll tell her that I like her.¡± As if emphasizing an important prophecy I raised my thumb in confirmation. ¡°Na AhJung will believe me then because of her increased self-esteem. When she finally loves me more than my brother, then, the end.¡±


    The fortune-teller frowned at my all too simple ending.


    ¡°Wait. Is it that simple?¡±


    ¡°Is it supposed to be hard?¡±


    ¡°Most people find this to be the hardest part. Gaining someone¡¯s love is not that easy.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s for normal people. Not for someone like me,¡± I replied seriously.


    ¡°...I can¡¯t believe it. You¡¯ve persuaded me.¡± The fortune-teller fanned her face in irritation.


    ¡°Anyways, this is how my future has been set. Do you have any other questions for me?¡±


    ¡°No. Did you reallye all the way here to tell me all of this?¡±


    I shrugged my shoulders at the exasperated fortune-teller. ¡°That¡¯s not the only reason. I also came to collect the talisman that will make things work out for her.¡± I looked at the clock. ¡°I do have another errand to run so I must get going soon. I would appreciate the talisman quickly.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve already set up your future, why are you bothered with someone else¡¯s talisman? You shouldn¡¯t even believe in this stuff.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not worried about my life, but I am worried about hers.¡±


    The reason I went to check my future was that I knew that it would be great. Born with a golden spoon in my mouth, riding a golden chariot, and forever epassed by gold. Hearing such praise from a professional helped boost my ego. But that was the extent of it.


    If they told me that my future would look different than what I want, or that I would not be able to obtain the things that I want, I didn¡¯t listen. Those were my choices to make.


    I never needed the help of a talisman for my personal use, but for Na AhJung, it was different. I wanted to give every good thing possible to that girl.


    ¡°Might as well give me several. So I can sew them on every bag she owns.¡±


    I checked the time after finishing my order. I had 15 minutes left until my next appointment. There was enough time to draw up ten talismans.


    ¡°Ten, please. So her luck will increase tenfold. And in five minutes please.¡±


    The fortune-teller took out the paper cocked her head.


    ¡°What¡¯s the rush?¡±


    ¡°If I¡¯m going to arrive at the hair salon in 15 minutes, then I don¡¯t have much time.¡±


    ¡°At this hour? It¡¯s 9 p.m.?¡±


    ¡°After dying my hair, I¡¯ll be able to arrive home in time for bed.¡±


    ¡°There are ces that take appointments at this time?¡±


    ¡°They take my appointments. Anyways, hurry.¡±


    At my insistence, the fortune-teller took out her brush and asked me a question.


    ¡°Why are you suddenly dying your hair?¡±


    ¡°So I can go around advertising that I am gold,¡± I said pointing at my hair. The fortune-teller nced at my hair, understood my n, andughed heartily.


    ¡°Sure is doing all sorts of things,¡± she muttered to herself. ¡°That golden ax has fallen deep into thatke.¡±


    The golden ax in theke. Liking the sound of the expression, I smiled.

 Chapter 30

    <h4>Chapter 30</h4>


    Na AhJung


    I opened my eyes as I woke up from my sleep. The sunlight filtering through my window was blinding so I quickly closed my eyes again and turned away from it. Hoping that it wouldn¡¯t be so bright this time, I slowly opened my eyes. Contrary to my expectations, something elsey before my eyes that blinded me.


    Bright gold. Blond gold hair like a foreigner.


    My fogged-up brain woke up instantaneously upon seeing the golden-haired man reading at the tea table.


    ¡°Who are you?¡± I asked shooting out of bed.


    The man turned his head and I recognized him right away.


    The man was Lee Jihan.


    Unable to fathom the reasoning behind this, I sat in awe without speaking a word. JiHan closed the book casually and ced it on the tea table.


    ¡°If you¡¯re awake, get up and go wash your face. We have a lot to do today.¡±


    It was definitely Lee JiHan. His voice was Lee JiHan¡¯s. As I was numbly staring, JiHan stood up from his seat. Then facing me, he walked toward the bed.


    As he stood right in front of me, his eye-catching golden hair caught the morning sunlight and glistened even more.


    It was an unnatural color as if he had painted gold all over his hair. How was it that it actually looked good on him?


    I looked up at JiHan as if he was a golden Buddha statue and got a sudden urge to bow.


    JiHan looked down at the awestruck me and frowned.


    ¡°Na AhJung, you don¡¯t have to live broadcast your drooling.¡±


    ¡°What, me? Now?¡±


    Waking up from my trance, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.


    ¡°Not that it matters,¡± JiHan added quietly. He bent over and grabbed my arm. ¡°If you¡¯re going to wipe the drool, might as well wash your face with water so we can leave after breakfast.¡±


    I got out of bed following JiHan¡¯s lead. Still not knowing what was going on, I ended up in the bathroom.


    ***


    While I was eating breakfast, JiHan was in his room talking on the phone with someone, so I only had to concentrate on stuffing my mouth.


    Only after I had finished eating and put the empty bowl into the sink did JiHane strutting over. He grabbed my wrist.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    He pulled me to my room and pointed to the top of my bed. At some point, he must have gone shopping because bags were sitting on my bed.


    ¡°We¡¯ll leave once you change into those. Go.¡±


    Suddenly hurrying, JiHan spoke fast. Then, just as fast, he left the room so that I didn¡¯t even get a chance to question him.


    What¡¯s gotten into him? Is it another blind date? And why is his hair like that?


    Although my curiosity continued to grow, I put it on hold to check the contents of the shopping bag. Inside was what looked like a moth-eaten white t-shirt and jean shorts. Looking at the two pieces of clothing in the shopping bag, I scratched my head in confusion.


    He¡¯s not expecting me to go on a blind date wearing this, is he? It can¡¯t be.


    After changing, I looked at my reflection in the full-length mirror next to my closet. My skin peeked through the small holes in the t-shirt, showing a little of my waist and a little of my vicle. Luckily it didn¡¯t look too revealing or erotic. I spun around to check how I looked, including my back.


    I hadn¡¯t been sure why I needed another mirror if there was one attached to the vanity but looking at it now I began to understand the reason. It was nice to be able to see yourself from head to toe.


    I nodded in approval, took a deep breath and headed to the door. When I opened my door, JiHan stood on the other side. I jumped in surprise. When he saw me, he examined me carefully and suddenly, very seriously started to p.


    ¡°I knew this would suit you, but I didn¡¯t know it would look this good.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Did he just say I looked good?


    At his suddenpliment, I felt extremely bizarre and cringed. Lee JiHan didn¡¯t mind my reaction and grabbed my wrist, then strutted toward the front door.


    ***


    Standing side by side in the elevator with JiHan, I asked the question that had been nagging at me for some time.


    ¡°Where are we going right now?¡±


    ¡°On a trip.¡±


    ¡°A trip? All of a sudden? To where?¡±


    At my baffled expression, JiHan replied with a question.


    ¡°Where do you want to go?¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Wherever you want to go. I¡¯ll go where you tell me to.¡±


    ¡°What are you talking about.¡±


    Before I could get all my words out, the elevator stopped and the door opened. JiHan grabbed my wrist once again and exited the elevator. Before we left the apartmentplex, he stopped walking and faced me. He examined me carefully with his eyes and his fingertips swept away the stray hair stuck to my cheek. He stepped back two steps, then looked me up and down fully.


    ¡°All good.¡± JiHan nodded as if checking the status of an actor before going on stage. ¡°This is much better than yesterday.¡±


    I did not have my hair done nor was I wearing a nice outfit like I had been yesterday but JiHan smiled in approval.


    ¡°You look very nice today,¡± he said still smiling.


    I¡¯m beginning to think that Lee JiHan has changed his tactics.


    He was no longer trying to introduce me to other men, instead he must¡¯ve decided to give me a heart attack instead.


    We left the apartmentplex as I grasped at my erratically beating heart.


    ***


    In the driver¡¯s seat, JiHan started the car. I was trying to calm both my heart and my breathing. It felt as if the seat belt that JiHan had buckled me into was squeezing my heart.


    ¡°Have you decided where we should go?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure. It¡¯s all so sudden. I don¡¯t really know what¡¯s going on.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s simple. Pick a ce where you canugh the most. You are advising me on a ce like that.¡±


    A ce where I willugh a lot...


    However hard I thought, I couldn¡¯t recall any memorable venue or how many times I hadughed at such a ce. I mean, who would actually count that sort of thing? How many times did Iugh as I walked, how many times did Iugh at home? Is there really anyone that counts these things one by one? Just in case, I thought about it a little more, but ultimately I couldn¡¯t find a ce to suggest.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±


    ¡°Then let¡¯s go to an amusement park,¡± JiHan replied at once as if he¡¯d already decided on a ce.


    I nced over at him suspiciously. He opened his window and stuck out his left hand. With his right hand, he turned the handle and started to drive.


    ¡°What are you doing? Why are you doing that with your hand?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m giving a sign to let others know that the car is moving.¡±


    ¡°A sign? Isn¡¯t that only necessary if there are people around you? There¡¯s no one here.¡±


    ¡°Someone might see it.¡±


    It¡¯s not like he¡¯s being tested on his driving skills.


    JiHan drove carefully and meticulously, to the point where he was sending signals to the invisible strangers that ¡°might need to see it.¡± When we got to the amusement park, he stopped and unfolded a map, observing the different rides.


    ¡°Na AhJung. Do you like rides where you fall straight down from the sky?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure,¡± I replied truthfully.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you know?¡± he asked as if my answer had been inadequate.


    ¡°I¡¯ve never ridden it before so I don¡¯t really know,¡± I admitted.


    ¡°Then can you ride the ones that speed across the sky?


    ¡°I don¡¯t know that either. I¡¯ve never ridden one.¡±


    ¡°Then what is it that you have tried riding?¡±


    ¡°Nothing.¡±


    ¡°How could you have never ridden a roller coaster?¡±


    ¡°Because, I¡¯ve never been to an amusement park before.¡±


    Lee JiHan¡¯s eyes widened in disbelief.


    ¡°You¡¯ve never been to an amusement park? Not even once?¡±


    ¡°Yes, but there¡¯s actually a lot of people like me,¡± I answered as if this waspletely normal.


    JiHan folded his map stone faced. ¡°Then we¡¯ll ride everything.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Today, we¡¯ll ride everything here before we go home.¡±


    JiHan grabbed my arm and walked quickly to the nearest ride. All of a sudden he stopped and looked around as if he was looking for something.


    ¡°Are you looking for something?¡± I asked.


    JiHan seemed to have found whatever it was he was looking for and his gaze focused on a spot. Then he nodded slightly.


    ¡°What is it?¡±


    I turned my head to see what he was looking at, but JiHan¡¯s two hands grabbed my face and held it in ce.


    ¡°There¡¯s a ghost following behind you.¡±


    ¡°What!¡± I jumped in fright at first, but finding my head, I frowned at him. ¡°Stop fooling around. Why would there be a ghost at this hour of the day? Did you think I would fall for that? No way. What do you take me for?¡±


    ¡°Not a real ghost. A fake, dressed up one that¡¯s even scarier.¡±


    ¡°A fake ghost?¡±


    ¡°Sometimes, amusement parks have haunted theme days. Employees dressed as ghosts follow you around and try to scare you.¡±


    ¡°I think I¡¯ve seen something like that on television before. They pop out of nowhere and follow behind you,¡± I stuttered as I started to get frightened.


    ¡°Do you want to see them?¡±


    ¡°No!¡±


    I was afraid that Lee JiHan would twist my face around to show me so I blurted out in fear. JiHan answered me calmly.


    ¡°Then don¡¯t look behind you.¡±


    With my face frozen in dread, I nodded vigorously. I¡¯ll never look, never. I repeated to myself. JiHan let go of my face and grabbed my wrist.


    ¡°You can rx your expression.¡±


    ¡°You said there¡¯s a ghost behind me.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s a ghost behind you, but I¡¯m next to you. Who¡¯s scarier?¡±


    Just for a moment, Ipared the two. Based on my opinion, the answer was obvious.


    ¡°You. Oh, I mean, mister.¡±


    JiHanughed at my answer.


    ¡°The ghosts fear me also.¡±


    JiHan let go of my wrist and held my hand. As his hands slipped into mine, I was so surprised that my heart felt like it was already on the roller coaster. At the same time, my shoulders flinched and my legs stepped back. JiHan didn¡¯t take notice and continued to talk.


    ¡°Whether it¡¯s a real or fake ghost, they won¡¯t be able to bother someone with an aura as strong as mine. So if you don¡¯t want to see a ghost, then you must continue holding onto my hand.¡±


    His words rang true. Whether ghost or person, who would be able to mess with him? Me on the other hand...


    Then the ghost behind us is after...me!


    Getting goosebumps, I nodded my head shaking. JiHan started moving toward the rides with a smile stered on his face and his hand still intertwined with mine.


    ***


    When we left the amusement park at sundown, there was not a single ride in the whole, huge ce that we hadn¡¯t tried.


    How many times did I cry today? How many times did my eyshes get wet then dry again. I was sure that if I batted my eyshes in that instant, it would rain down salt.


    Thanks to JiHan, I was able to learn that I could not ride the coasters that fell straight down or sped across the sky. I couldn¡¯t ride the ones that swung back and forth like a boat in a tumultuous sea either.


    Even so, I was sorry we had to leave, and looked back at the amusement park several times. The ghost must have clocked out since JiHan no longer stopped me from looking back. He also didn¡¯t stop holding my hand.


    JiHan sat me down in the passenger¡¯s seat, then finally let go of my hand. He closed the door and walked around the front of the car. He looked like he was going toward the driver¡¯s side when he stopped in front and took a call. I became entranced by his golden hair as if it was the lighting out of a lighthouse.


    Except for the moments in which I¡¯d teared up in surprise and fear, it had been an enjoyable day. I knew I could look back at today andugh about all the memories we¡¯d had, even the scary moments. I would remember it as the first day I visited an amusement park and reminisce over all its memories over and over again.


    I didn¡¯t understand the reasoning behind it, but I was thankful for the result. Even though not knowing the reason was as nerve wracking as being strapped to a time bomb...


    My thankfulness disappeared and the anxiety returned, causing me to watch JiHan nervously while chewing up my fingernails.


    Who is he talking to? It looked like he had called them...he¡¯s not selling me away, is he? You know, like in dramas where right before they abandon you, they give you onest wonderful day by taking you somewhere nice. And the number one ce to take you is an amusement park. Sometimes, they abandon you at the amusement park. Is he going to sell me off?


    As my anxiety reached the brink of explosion, JiHan ended his call and returned to the driver¡¯s seat.


    Now that I think about it, that eye catching golden hair... what if it¡¯s purpose is as a disguise? After he sells me off, he¡¯ll go back to his regr hair, then when the police ask the witnesses, all they will remember is that golden hair!


    I dreamed up every horrible possibility that could happen to me. In the midst of this, Lee JiHan got into his seat.


    ¡°It will take about 40 minutes to get back to Seoul so if you¡¯re hungry, tell me now. We can stop by the market to grab some things to cook with near here.¡±


    ¡°What? We¡¯re going to Seoul? Both of us?¡±


    You¡¯re not just leaving me here by myself? You¡¯re not selling me off?


    ¡°Both of us, were you expecting the ghost to tag along so it would be the three of us? Should I call the ghost over?¡± JiHan asked, confused at my question.


    ¡°Ah, no! No, no.¡± I held onto the seat belt as if it were a saving rope sent from heaven and shook my head forcefully.

 Chapter 31

    <h4>Chapter 31</h4>


    When we arrived at one of the restaurants in Seoul and the food I ordered was ced in front of me, I threw away all my suspicions and picked up my fork. JiHan, who was sitting across from me, was checking his cell phone, not even remotely aware of what I suspected him of doing to me. There had been no greater meaning behind his new golden hairdo. Finally able to rx, decided to appease my burning curiosity.


    ¡°Why did you decide to dye your hair all of a sudden?¡±


    JiHan, still concentrating on his phone, grabbed the fork and pointed it at his head.


    ¡°So you will see me as gold.¡±


    His response waspletely unexpected. Who would¡¯ve guessed that was the reason? I sure didn¡¯t. Maybe someone else might have, but I definitely would not have thought up such a reason. How is that even a valid reason? To see him as gold. Is he telling me to treat him like a precious metal?


    I watched him in silence, exasperated. He frowned as if in deep thought and continued to stare at his phone. He moved his lips but no words came out.


    ¡°Na AhJung. How much space do you have on the wall over your vanity?¡± he asked suddenly.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure.¡±


    At my answer, JiHan rubbed his forehead as if unable to solve a difficult problem.


    ¡°There isn¡¯t any more space other than there...¡± he muttered to himself.


    ¡°Space for what?¡± I asked him, but Lee JiHan waved me off.


    ¡°You¡¯ll see itter.¡±


    Oh, what is he looking at so intently?


    Curiosity getting the best of me, I stretched my neck as far as it could go with the fork still in my mouth to try to catch a glimpse of what he was looking at. It looked like a picture. JiHan suddenly lifted the phone closer to his face. Then, as if writing a text message, he started to type with both hands. Finally he put down his phone and looked at me, smiling.


    ¡°Na AhJung, do you remember your day off?¡±


    I cocked my head quizzically at the unusual question.


    ¡°Of course I remember it. It¡¯s only been a week.¡±


    ¡°Remember how I said it would be a miracle for me to go on a trip with you. Well, that miracle just happened.¡±


    What¡¯s he getting at.


    I ran through my memory of that day and our conversation from that afternoon rang in my ears.


    Is us going on a trip such a horrible thing to you? To you? You have to realize how horrible it would be for me!


    What?


    Me going on a trip with you, even if you begged me to, it is one miracle that will never happen so don¡¯t even get upset about it.


    It¡¯s not that it offends me. I...how could I possibly even dream that? Trust me, I was only proving my innocence in ever thinking of such a thing. I was not offended by it at all! If that kind of miracle happened, it would be the best surprise ever. If there was a day that happened, I would write about it in my diary. I would mark it as an anniversary and every year remember it. How could you forget a dream?


    After returning from my shback, I nodded at Lee JiHan.


    ¡°Yes, that¡¯s right. It¡¯s today is a miracle.¡±


    ¡°Then you have to keep your promise,¡± JiHan said as he pointed to my lips.


    ¡°You don¡¯t mean...you want me to write about today¡¯s miracle in my diary?¡±


    ¡°You have to mark it as an anniversary and remember it every year.¡±


    ¡°Oh, of course! Of course I will.¡±


    With a quick wit, I agreed heartily and even put up my fists to show him my determination. Lee JiHan continued as he cut his steak with his knife.


    ¡°I will check if you remember the anniversary next year, and if you wrote it in your diary, tomorrow.¡±


    I never imagined a day like this would actuallye, and I never imagined I would have to keep a promise that I had thrown around without much thought. Feeling defeated but feigning happiness, I made a circle instead of a heart with my hands.


    ¡°Yes, of course I will do that. I should stop by a supply store on the way home so I can buy a diary. Wow...I can¡¯t believe something I never dreamed of happening actually urred. I will cherish my diary everyday so I¡¯ll buy an especially pretty one.¡±


    Jihan must have approved of my reaction because he started to eat with a look of content on his face.


    30 years old and I have to get my journal entry homework graded.


    I started my meal, crying inside.


    ***


    Hugging my new diary, I returned to the apartment with Lee JiHan. Because our rooms were across from each other, we walked next to each other through the hallway until we both stopped at the same ce. At the point where both our rooms met. Without thinking much, I left JiHan behind me, opened my door and flipped on the switch.


    When the lights lit up the room, the first thing that caught my eye was the new audio set. That much was expected so my gaze only fell on it momentarily. But when I turned to my wall, I found it filled with huge picture frames.


    ¡°What the...?¡±


    They had not been there before, nor had they ever been mentioned, so I stared at them in awe. Other than the walls with the window and the built in closet, the entire room was filled with the frames. Every inch of it. Even the space of wall above the vanity had frames littered across it. In every single one was a picture of me.


    At first I wasn¡¯t sure if it was me or not, but upon closer inspection, each person in the pictures was indeed me. Evidently, all the pictures seemed to be of me at the amusement park.


    ¡°Oh my, what is all this?¡± I asked Lee JiHan in astonishment.


    He¡¯d already stepped into my room.


    ¡°What do you think this is? It¡¯s your pictures,¡± he said as if this should be obvious.


    As if enjoying a piece of art, he gazed around the room.


    ¡°I hired a photographer yesterday and he took about a thousand pictures of you today. Out of the thousand, I chose 20 to hang up in frames.¡±


    ¡°A thousand!?¡±


    ¡°I have the rest in a file. You can take a look at it and let me know if there are other ones you like better. I chose these personally. They might just look pretty in my eyes.¡±


    ¡°What did you just say?¡±


    Ignoring my rm, JiHan continued looking around at the pictures, then ced his hand on top of my head.


    ¡°In my eyes, these pictures looked the prettiest, that¡¯s what I¡¯m saying.¡±


    Hisrge hand squeezed the top of my head. He articted each word as he spoke.


    ¡°Let them sink in because these are good words.¡±


    It was already sinking into my brain even without him reminding me, it had been such a shock.


    Has he gone crazy?


    I trembled as abination of shock and fear washed over me.


    ¡°I¡¯ll let you see the file tomorrow. You should wash up, write your diary entry, then go to sleep,¡± he instructed, letting go of my head and patting it adoringly.


    I looked up at JiHan with fear filled eyes, not knowing what I was supposed to do. He looked down at me with a kind, almost sweet face, smiling from ear to ear. A smile to rival his glittering golden hair.


    JiHan had transformed to a golden Buddha overnight. I, on the other hand, had be a stone Buddha and was unable to move. Even after Lee JiHan had left, I remained rooted to the spot.


    ***


    Lee JiHan


    I finished breakfast, then went to Na AhJung¡¯s room, sat at the tea table and opened up her diary. Across from me, AhJung was in front of aptop. A newptop I had bought for her that was filled with a thousand pictures of her. I stopped reading her diary for a moment to sneak a nce at her. I was curious to see her reaction to the pictures that I had so lovingly looked through.


    With her face propped up against her hands, AhJung smiled widely as she looked through the pictures in fascination. It was like she was unable to believe that this was her.


    ¡°You look like you¡¯ve just fallen in love with yourself,¡± I said.


    AhJung flinched at my words and blushed furiously.


    ¡°Uh, no I haven¡¯t! It¡¯s not that, it¡¯s just the pictures came out so nice, unlike me. It¡¯s like I¡¯m a different person.¡±


    ¡°They dide out nicely, but they are exactly like you. That is the type of person you are.¡±


    ¡°No way. I don¡¯t look like this.¡±


    ¡°You had on no makeup and worefortable clothes yesterday. You didn¡¯t know there was a camera. All these pictures were taken like this, candid and natural.¡±


    ¡°It was taken naturally but probably photoshopped before he sent it to us. It¡¯s practically stic surgery.¡±


    ¡°In my eyes, that face is this face,¡± I told AhJung pointing first at theptop, then to her face.


    ¡°Really?¡± she asked with her eyes wide. ¡°When I look in the mirror, it doesn¡¯t seem to look like this.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s because your eyes have a serious illness.¡±


    ¡°What? Illness? What illness?¡±


    ¡°You always look at yourself as if you¡¯re worse than others. That¡¯s an illness. Fix it,¡± I demanded.


    AhJung seemed unable to understand the reasoning behind my words and so she lowered her gaze and tilted her head.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t put those pictures up on your wall for no reason. I want you to look at those pictures and tell yourself ¡®that¡¯s me, that¡¯s me.¡¯ If you still don¡¯t get it, just memorize it until it gets engraved in your head.¡±


    I hit the tea table with my palm as I emphasized my words.


    ¡°Do you understand?¡± I asked strictly.


    ¡°Yes, I...I understand,¡± she stammered.


    Content with her response, I lowered my gaze back to the diary. I finally started to read her diary entry.


    X, X. Sunny.


    I went to the amusement park today. Mister went with me. I rode all the rides there. I even got to experience the safari. I had lots of fun. Going to the amusement park with Mister, it¡¯s like a miracle. It was a really, really fun day.


    ¡°What is this? It sounds like an elementary student wrote it,¡± I asked annoyed.


    AhJung blushed and scratched her head in embarrassment.


    ¡°I felt like I returned back to my childhood yesterday so I wrote it channeling my inner child.¡±


    ¡°Your inner child? Ha! And why does this child suddenly have Alzheimers?¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°After the safari, at approximately 2:40pm, I bought you cotton candy. Why is that not in here?¡±


    ¡°Oh, that.¡±


    ¡°And you forgot to include the part where I held your hand every time we rode a scary ride.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s...¡±


    ¡°And for lunch, I let you choose whatever you wanted to eat. Do you know how much I had to endure eating that horrid fast food? Why is all of that not in here?¡± I pointed all this out without giving AhJung a chance to interrupt. ¡°Not just that, but there are a number of things you forgot to include in here. Why did you do that? Why? Did you forget it?¡±


    ¡°No, of course not. I remember everything, I do.¡± Flustered, AhJung waved her hands around anxiously.


    ¡°You remember everything but you didn¡¯t write it down? You didn¡¯t forget it by ident but you left it out on purpose?¡±


    ¡°No, if you say it like that, then it sounds bad! I didn¡¯t do it with bad intentions. Uh...I remember it but I forgot to write it down! I¡¯ll write it in right now.¡±


    AhJung ran to the desk, grabbed a pen, and ran back to the tea table. She took back the diary and started to write. On a whole new page, starting from the date. Other than the newly written date and weather, the first line remained the same as before.


    I went to the amusement park today. Mister went with me.


    I stopped her at the first line, pointing at the second sentence.


    ¡°Why do you name me as Mister?¡±


    ¡°I always call you Mister. You said you didn¡¯t like young master, and really didn¡¯t like me calling you by name. I mean, hated it. That¡¯s what you told me so that¡¯s why I call you Mister.¡±


    ¡°Calling me by name is...¡±


    I was going to say ¡°better¡± but a different thought popped into my head and so I stopped mid-sentence. Originally the word mister was used to indicate men under the rank of knighthood. I would be her knight in shining armour.


    ¡°Okay. Mister. We¡¯ll continue as is.¡±


    I nodded and gave her permission to continue using the term. Then, with my arms crossed, I stared at her diary. AhJung continued to write. I made sure she didn¡¯t miss a single event from yesterday¡¯s outing. Like a teacher watching a student take an exam, I watched diligently as she wrote, interrupting from time to time, demanding revisions or additions.


    ***


    Finally, Na AhJungpleted the version of her diary entry that met my criteria. An hour had already passed. In that time, there was one thing that I hoped for.


    At my okay sign, AhJung closed the diary proudly with an expression of satisfaction. She then got up from her seat hugging the diary. Watching that, I ordered her to fulfill my wish.


    ¡°AhJung, from now on, you will continue to write in that diary everyday. I¡¯m going to check it each day.¡±


    The diary that she had been embracing slipped away from her and fell to the floor with a thud. With an expression that looked like she¡¯d lost all hope, she looked at me in dismay. I did not take back my words however, and instead changed the subject.


    ¡°Now, bring me all your bags.¡±


    ¡°My bags? Why?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve brought ten talismans so your luck will get better. I will ce one in each bag.¡±


    ¡°I only have one bag. The one I always carry around,¡± she said pointing at the cross bag lying on the desk.


    ¡°That¡¯s the only one?¡± I asked incredulously, first looking at the cross bag, then back at AhJung.


    ¡°Oh, there is one more bag that JiKyung bought me. Last time, when you first saw me at JiKyung¡¯s house, you saw it in the living room and made such a fuss over it.¡±


    ¡°That still means you only have two.¡±


    The situation was so unexpected, I was taken aback but it wasn¡¯t a difficult fix so I brushed it off and stood up.


    ¡°To match the number of talismans, we¡¯ll go buy eight more bags.¡±


    Content with finding a simple solution, I grabbed AhJung¡¯s wrist. To make the solution into a reality, I dragged her out of her room.

 Chapter 32

    <h4>Chapter 32</h4>


    After dinner, I went back to my room after forcefully re-stating my request for AhJung to continue writing her diary entries. I sat on my bed with my legs crossed andid out the eight bags I had purchased that afternoon. After meticulously sewing the carefully folded talismans into the bags¡¯ seams, an hour had already passed.


    ¡°I can¡¯t believe this took so long,¡± I said out loud to myself.


    I wiped my brow with my sleeves, stretched out my sore back and stood up. But at that moment, my cellphone rang to let me know a message had arrived. I went to check the message.


    [The 1st act of theedy synopsis you requested has been sent to your email. Please confirm receipt.]


    It was a message from the famous writer, Noh HeeChul who I had requested aedy y script from. To check my email, I turned on theptop sitting on the tea table. It was probably going to be a simplified summary, but since Noh Heechul was the best writer in the business, the synopsis was probably going to be of a different ss.


    With high hopes, I opened the email and read the document. It included a summary of the plot with the description of each of the characters.


    The main female lead was Na AhJung. Age, 33. Facial features of a 17 year old. Cursed by her young looks, a theater actress who fails to get casted for mature roles.


    ¡°Great. It¡¯s exactly AhJung.¡±


    Excited at finding the perfectly matched character, I continued onto the plot. From the first sentence on, my expression started to crumble. Upon reading thest line, I grabbed my phone. Then I dialed the number of the writer.


    The moment the writer picked up the phone, I yelled without restraint.


    ¡°What! Why does AhJung end up getting into a rtionship with a girl?!¡±


    [Ah, that. Because there has to be an edge like that to get it some artistic recognition.]


    ¡°Look here. You call this art? You just pasted a bunch of ridiculous concepts together and made it as provocative as possible, is that art?¡±


    [The thing is, if an average person reads this, it may be difficult to understand, but if you see it on stage, it will be phenomenal.]


    ¡°If I see this on stage, I¡¯ll kill you,¡± I threatened. ¡°You may be thinking that I¡¯ve already got my deposit so there¡¯s not much to lose if the y fails. I can tell you¡¯ve created this y with that mindset, just patching together random storylines.¡±


    [Well it¡¯s only in the beginning stages, so I can see how you could get that impression.]


    ¡°Cursed by her young looks, an unknown theater actress finds out her days are numbered. She meets a girl while on her way tomit suicide and the two be a pair that cannot live without each other after a one night stand. Then, the girl finds out her husband of 20 years is actually her long lost father.¡±


    I read back the synopsis back in a hardened voice.


    ¡°Whatever more you add to these bones will not make any difference in attracting the audience¡¯s attention. More importantly, you missed the main point I emphasized in giving you this project. The story you¡¯ve given me is not one written for a woman in her 30s living with the face of a teen. That was the point of the project.¡±


    [Truthfully...thinking up a story with that criteria in only a week that could also attract public interest was not such an easy thing to do.]


    ¡°I gave you $100,000 because I knew it wasn¡¯t easy.¡±


    [That¡¯s true but...can¡¯t you give me a little more time? About a month...]


    ¡°A month?¡± I sighed in exasperation. ¡°Is it really that difficult to think up a story for Na AhJung?¡±


    I heard a sigh through the receiver.


    ¡°Then, how about this? An unknown actress in her 30s with the face of a teen marries the grandson of a millionaire.¡±


    [What?]


    ¡°This girl thinks that this man is the greatest luck of her life, but we find out that the man is gay.¡±


    [Oh, that¡¯s great. And then what happens?]


    ¡°The man wasn¡¯t marrying the girl because he loved her, but because he wanted to hide the fact that he was gay so he fooled her into marrying him...¡±


    As I continued to tell the real story of AhJung¡¯s life, I suddenly backtracked. If I made AhJung act in this y, she might find out that it was actually based on her life. Plus I was giving this y to her as a gift, so she¡¯d be doubly suspicious. We couldn¡¯t move forward with that story anymore. I couldn¡¯t create a y that was a 100% match with her real life.


    Then...should we twist up the story a bit?


    ¡°No. Let¡¯s do it like this. The teen-looking unknown actress in her 30s goes into a ¡°contract marriage¡± with the grandson of a millionaire. Using all the imagination at my disposal, I continued making up the story so that it would be different from the truth so that AhJung would not be able to tell that it was her story.


    ***


    Na AhJung


    It¡¯d been ten days since JiHan had started forcing me to write my diary entries every day. Only two weeks remained until JiKyung¡¯s return.


    While JiHan was checking over my tenth entry, I stared at the pictures of myself that hung all around my walls. They were a mirror, my reflection. I concentrated on each of the pictures, repeating it to myself. For ten days I had done this, just as Lee JiHan hadmanded.


    But how could this beautiful and charismatic person be me? It can¡¯t be?


    Once the doubt started to resurface, my head tilted back and forth in denial. JiHan¡¯s voice echoed from behind me.


    ¡°You better not be thinking about something else during this time of self-reflection.¡±


    He called this ¡°time for self reflection.¡±


    I held my head up straight and tutted. Then continued to look at the pictures on the wall.


    It would be nice if I really did look like this...


    I was envious of the version of me in the pictures. From behind me, I heard the diary snap close.


    ¡°Let¡¯s spend some good times together. Like yesterday.¡±


    These words meant that my homework check wasplete, so I turned back from the wall. JiHan, as he had for each of the ten days, looked at me and smiled. A smile that was brighter than his golden hair.


    Ah, I would have thought I would get used to this by now.


    I turned back to the wall to hide my thumping heart and pretended to look over the pictures once again. I could feel JiHan stand and walk towards me.


    ¡°Are you reviewing by re-looking at the pictures you¡¯ve already seen?¡±


    ¡°Yes, they¡¯re nice to look at,¡± I said beating around the bush.


    JiHan¡¯s hand squeezed my shoulders slightly. My hands tightened into fists as electricity shot through me.


    ¡°If they¡¯re so nice to see, I¡¯d like to look at them too.¡±


    The pictures weren¡¯t going anywhere, and yet he acted like I had been blocking his view of them.


    ¡°Go... go ahead,¡± I stammered as I shuffled to the side in case I was in the way


    JiHan strengthened his grip and turned my body to let me know I was going the wrong way. As a consequence, I ended up face to face with him. He stared at my face.


    ¡°The pictures are actually over there,¡± I said pointing at the pictures behind me.


    JiHan let go of my shoulders. ¡°Why should I look there when there¡¯s something better.¡±


    After uttering words that made no sense to me, he grabbed my face with his hands and turned it to look at him. With my face parallel to his, he smiled serenely as if he was staring at something really good.


    Ah...every morning, he¡¯s driving me crazy!


    I bit my lower lip to wake up my brain. I hurriedly pointed to the bed.


    ¡°My phone!¡±


    At my panicked reaction, JiHan turned his head to the bed. Taking that opportunity, I ran to pick up the phone that hadn¡¯t even rang.


    ¡°Oh, JiKyung? What are you doing up at this hour?¡± I answered.


    ¡°The phone didn¡¯t ring,¡± JiHan pointed out sharply amidst my acting skills.


    Not losing myposure, I took my mouth off the receiver.


    ¡°It was on vibrate,¡± I whispered.


    Then, as if I was carrying on a conversation with JiKyung, I continued to talk to through the phone.


    ¡°Oh. You called because of my wedding dress? I know. It would have been nice to go with you. What can we do, though.¡±


    Today was the day I would go to choose my wedding dress. I fabricated the dialogue using that situation.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be fine so don¡¯t worry about me. You still have two weeks until you return and the wedding is so soon after that, we don¡¯t have much time. We don¡¯t have much of a choice.¡±


    Even though I was on the phone, JiHan refused to leave my side.


    Why isn¡¯t he leaving?


    With my eyes down, I spared a nce at his unmoving feet and slowly started shuffling away from him.


    At that moment, the ringtone sted through my cochlea.


    ¡°Ahh!¡±


    I wrenched the phone away from my ear in surprise. At my reaction, JiHan¡¯s voice rang out.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you pick up the phone?¡±


    Turning my head, I saw JiHan with his phone at his ear. Looking me in the eyes, he pointed at my phone. Afraid my suspicions were true, I looked down at my phone and saw his name on the screen.


    Ah, what an embarrassment!


    I picked up the phone practically on the verge of tears. JiHan¡¯s voice rang through the receiver.


    ¡°Why are you avoiding me? To the point you would make up a phone call.¡±


    ¡°Avoiding you? There really was a phone call...¡± I tried to justify myself. ¡°I was on the phone with JiKyung when your phone call came through.¡±


    Taking the phone off my ear, I stared at the screen curiously. ¡°I wonder why the call disconnected. Is this what they call entanglement?¡±


    JiHan stepped up close to me and confronted me. ¡°It¡¯s not your phone that¡¯s entangled, it¡¯s your emotions.¡±


    What is he talking about? Without even realizing, I looked back curiously at JiHan.


    ¡°I¡¯m making that happen,¡± he said confidently.


    He put his hand on my shoulder and sat me on the bed. Then picking up the teddy bear from the head of the bed, he ced it in my embrace. Like a reflex, I wrapped my arms around the bear. Like my reaction to JiHan¡¯s whistle a few weeks ago, responding this way to the teddy bear was now a habit.


    JiHan stretched his arms out toward the ceiling to fix the crooked canopy. Then he stepped back and looked at the canopy, the teddy bear, and finally, me. This was his routine every time hepleted checking my diary entries.


    Today, however, there was something extra. JiHan didn¡¯t leave the room this time, but instead walked to the tea table and picked up the diary. Then he walked up and handed it to me.


    ¡°Today, you will review and memorize the things that are written in here,¡± he said.


    I received the diary, not quite understanding, and looked up at JiHan for an exnation. He looked down at me ready to reprimand.


    ¡°I want you to remember how good I¡¯ve been to you for thest ten days. Only then will I consider letting you out of here.¡±


    ¡°You want me to memorize all of this?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s only ten pages.¡±


    JiHan took no excuses. Without a single attempt atpromise, he turned and left.


    ¡°Only ten pages...¡± I muttered indecencies the moment Jihan walked out.


    I flipped through the pages of the diary and sighed. ¡°There¡¯s so much to memorize...¡±


    Both the front and back of the ten pages were filled with miniscule writing.


    It included a record of all thepliments that JiHan had uttered, all the presents he¡¯d given me, all the things he¡¯d done for me etc. And now he wants me to memorize it all.


    I would never have imagined it. I had to remember all the things Lee JiHan had done for by date.


    ¡°I mean, why do I have to do something like this?¡±I blurted out in frustration.


    The nagging suspicions started to creep back into my head. Out of all the days to decide to do this, he would pick the day I needed to choose my wedding dress. If I didn¡¯t memorize all this, I wouldn¡¯t be allowed to leave the house.


    JiHan, this jerk...he went through all that for ten days specifically to do this to me now! I wondered why he had been so nice to me! Doing all those things for me to memorize so I wouldn¡¯t be able to go shopping for my dress! He really has a knack for making my life difficult, to think I was almost fooled! Ha, you think I won¡¯t be able to memorize it?


    I felt ridiculous thinking of all those times within thest ten days that I had been touched by his actions. Thinking of JiHan¡¯s obnoxious behavior, I clenched my fists in determination.


    I will memorize all of it. I¡¯ll memorize it and go to get my wedding dress.

 Chapter 33

    <h4>Chapter 33</h4>


    Thanks to my absolute focus, I was able to memorize all the pages and I made it to my wedding dress appointment.


    That darn diary was probably more of a record of JiHan¡¯s niceties than my own personal stories. Since I¡¯d spent so much of my energy memorizing the entries, I was unable to spend the same amount of energy on choosing a dress, even though I was the one getting married.


    I nced over at JiHan with a less than enthusiastic expression. The fire that Icked in my eyes was mirrored in JiHan¡¯s as he examined each dress in detail.


    If someone else had seen it, they would have thought he was the groom to be. Behind me, the employee eximed excitedly.


    ¡°I¡¯ve never seen a groom put so much effort into choosing a dress. It¡¯s so nice to see!¡±


    ¡°Oh! It¡¯s not like that! He¡¯s not my husband!¡± I denied assertively.


    ¡°Oh, really? I¡¯m sorry miss. Most bridese with their fianc¨¦ so I just assumed. I guess your husband to be wasn¡¯t able to make it?¡±


    At the employee¡¯s question, I pretended to be disappointed and nodded my head.


    ¡°Yes. Until the wedding in two weeks, he¡¯s away on a business trip. The moment he gets back, we will have to get our engagement photos done so I need to choose a dress and tuxedo today. If there¡¯s a dress I like, I will purchase it today.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I see. Then who is this who came with you?¡±


    ¡°My husband¡¯s brother.¡±


    ¡°Sorry? Oh, your future brother-inw?¡±


    ¡°Well...yes something like that,¡± I answered hesitantly.


    I hoped JiHan would not explode likest time. He did indeed look extremely upset about it and redser beams at me with those cold eyes.


    Oh really! I can¡¯t even call my future brother-inw, my future brother-inw?


    I reverted my attention back to my dress, unable to say aloud what I was thinking. I mumbled under my breath while avoiding his gaze, and looked through the wedding dresses.


    If he hates the idea of this marriage so much, why did he even bother following me here? It¡¯s not like he¡¯s going to see anything good. I¡¯m sure he didn¡¯te to help me out...


    Lost in thought, I almost didn¡¯t notice JiHan until he handed me a wedding dress.


    ¡°Try this on first.¡±


    I turned and found that he still had the angry expression on his face. I gulped in fear, and withoutment, took the dress from him. With the help of the employee, I headed to the dressing room.


    ***


    I stood in front of the mirror with my hair styled in an updo and my dress tightened to fit my form. The dress reflected in the mirror was a tight fitting tube top with a full, bell shaped skirt.


    I hadn¡¯t noticed it on the rack, but the dress had an elegant skirt with intricate embroidery, and the top creased subtly to show off my figure. It was delicate like a morning haze. I was wearing a beautiful dress.


    ¡°Did he reallye to help me?¡± I mumbled to myself as I gazed in the mirror.


    I couldn¡¯t imagine why Lee JiHan, who fiercely opposed the wedding, would pick out such a beautiful dress. I couldn¡¯t figure him out.


    If he¡¯s not trying to help me, then why did he pick out this dress for me?


    No, JiHan was definitely against this wedding. How could he want to help me? Opposing my wedding, but helping me choose a dress, what is this?


    Looking at the reflection in the mirror of the world¡¯s most beautiful dress, my suspicions rose to parallel it¡¯s beauty and I was totally lost.


    Why...what is the meaning behind this...


    As my feelings of awe turned to ones of suspicion, I heard the employee¡¯s voice.


    ¡°Miss, I¡¯m going to open the curtain now.¡±


    Curtain? I turned my head in a sort of crisis imagining JiHan behind the curtain.The employee¡¯s hands reached out to open it.


    ¡°No! No! Don¡¯t open it!¡±


    I ran to the employee and grabbed her hand. She looked at me in surprise.


    ¡°Miss, we have to open this curtain for your guest to see you...¡±


    ¡°I can see it myself!¡±


    ¡°Sorry?¡±


    ¡°I can look and decide on my own, so don¡¯t open the curtain!¡±


    ¡°But your guest...¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t open it, don¡¯t open it, don¡¯t open it!¡±


    Knowing that I would see JiHan the moment the curtain was opened, I begged the employee to spare me.


    I couldn¡¯t imagine JiHan seeing me like this. Getting in the way was one thing, but he¡¯d just make me want to run away. Not because of his criticisms, but because of the way my heart pounded around him. Just thinking of him seeing me in this dress made my face flush red.


    ¡°Oh, all right, miss. Please calm down.¡±


    The employee looked at me in trepidation, but answered politely and let go of the curtain. She put her hands up above her chest, telling me to rx as if I had been threatening her with a gun.


    Suddenly the curtain was flung open.


    ¡°Ack!¡± I screamed reflexively and saw JiHan two steps away from me.


    ¡°Is the reason you are talking behind this flimsy curtain to tell me to open this myself? Jihan asked rashly with his head lopsided and his brows narrowed.


    Scared, I hid myself behind the employee.


    ¡°Uh, No. That¡¯s not it.¡±


    ¡°Being unable to see you is making me angry, so you¡¯d better get out here.¡±


    I didn¡¯t answer.


    ¡°Get out here before I pull you out.¡±


    I gulped at his frightening threat and slowly moved out into the open.


    With my head hung like a student in trouble, I stepped in front of JiHan ready for his punishment.


    But what I heard was not scolding but pping. It slowly echoed around me.


    The unexpected noise made me lift my head. With a calcting gaze, JiHan watched me without expression and pped two more times.


    pping, with that ice cold expression on his face. I feel like he¡¯s going to say something twisted...


    I concentrated on JiHan¡¯s twitching lips.


    ¡°If you¡¯re going to make me angry, you shouldn¡¯t look so pretty,¡± he said in a voice that conveyed his frustration.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I opened the curtain because I was angry but now that I see you, I can¡¯t be mad at you. But remembering how you wanted to see this by yourself makes me angry again. And then I see you and I¡¯m not. It¡¯s really annoying.¡±


    He¡¯s angry, but can¡¯t be angry, so he¡¯s annoyed. Is this apliment, or is he agitated by me?


    I looked at him nkly, not sure which it was as he scolded me again.


    ¡°What are you doing there standing like that? Show me the front, back, spin around.¡±


    ¡°Ah, yes, of course,¡± I answered obediently and turned around slowly on ount of my extremely high heels.


    As I turned, I realized that I was showing JiHan this version of myself. Wanting to run away, I turned around once and faced Lee JiHan. Blushing, I stared at the floor.


    ¡°I¡¯m not angry anymore, so lift your head.¡±


    I didn¡¯t.


    ¡°I was only angry because I wanted to see you. If you don¡¯t show me again, you¡¯d better be prepared to deal with my reaction.¡±


    I lifted my head at his threat. Maybe it was better to deal with my embarrassment than with him bothering me.


    When I made eye contact with him, JiHan¡¯s expression softened. He smiled as the cold melted away.


    My heart dropped.


    ¡°I just realized this,¡± JiHan said with a voice as soft as his smile. ¡°Na AhJung, you are so pretty you may be too good for my brother.¡±


    ¡°What did you say?¡± I asked unable to believe what I¡¯d just heard.


    ¡°Let¡¯s just see how pretty you can be today.¡±


    JiHan shrugged and stepped out toward the dress racks. Then he came back after a few moments with a new dress.


    ¡°Let¡¯s try this one this time.¡±


    JiHan handed the dress to me and stepped back. He closed the curtain and blocked his view of me.


    ***


    I looked at myself in the dressing room mirror as I tried on the fourth dress. The second one was pretty and the third one was pretty, but I couldn¡¯t believe this one was pretty too!


    And I think I even look mature in this dress?


    I reached out to the mirror, surprised by my reflection. My hands went out to touch the feathers that decorated my neckline, but I felt the hard, ss surface of the mirror instead.


    Yes, this is a mirror. There isn¡¯t a different person standing in front of me. This is actually me!


    I touched my actual neckline and stroked the soft feathers. Then I went over the silver belt that wrapped around my waist. Under the soft silk flowed a chiffon skirt, rippling like water.


    ¡°Oh, am I...a goddess?¡± I asked myself, lost in a trance.


    I suddenly turned around, not wanting to be caught saying such things in front of other people. I scanned the dressing room, afraid the employee, who had stepped out, had returned. Fortunately, I was the only one in the dressing room. Rxing, I turned back to the mirror. I stared to my heart¡¯s content at my reflection.


    Meanwhile, JiHan¡¯s voice could be heard from behind the curtain.


    ¡°Are you noting out?


    ¡°Oh, right!¡±


    I have to hear mypliments again! I bounced over to the curtain excited. He¡¯ll tell me I look beautiful again and smile, won¡¯t he? With that expectation in mind, I pulled back the curtain. Right outside the curtain, I saw JiHan.


    ¡°How do I look?¡± I asked, but Lee JiHan just looked at me without a word.


    Growing nervous at his prolonged silence, I started to question him.


    ¡°Why aren¡¯t you saying anything? Is it not pretty? This looks the best to me?¡±


    ¡°Na AhJung.¡±


    His heavy voice made me feel as though I should find myposure so I froze. Did I offend him with my overexcitement? As I calmed down and became quiet, JiHan spoke as if he had confirmed his certainty.


    ¡°Do you want to wear this and get married?¡±


    I nodded without hesitation because it was the prettiest out of all the dresses I¡¯d seen so far. I didn¡¯t think there would be another dress in the world that would be better than this dress.


    At my answer, Lee JiHan nodded. ¡°I agree with you also. Let¡¯s get married in this dress.¡±


    ¡°Right? Even in your eyes, this one is the prettiest, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    Seeing my face brighten, Lee JiHan added, ¡°In my eyes, I think you look the prettiest.¡±


    I blushed at his straight forwardpliment but he didn¡¯t stop there.


    ¡°So this marriage, why don¡¯t you do it with me.¡±


    Like someone had thrown ice water over my face, my mind went numb.


    ¡°It¡¯s not something to be surprised over. We¡¯re not going to get married right away. We¡¯ll start dating first,¡± JiHan told me casually without blinking.


    Without giving me a chance to break out of my trance, he grabbed my arm and we left the dressing room.


    ¡°Wait, wait!¡±


    Ignoring my protests, JiHan passed down the hall of the dress shop. Not knowing what was happening, I instinctively followed him, trying not to trip over my dress. Suddenly, he stopped.


    JiHan walked up to the employee at the front desk.


    ¡°This dress, I¡¯m buying it. Now,¡± he blurted out.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry sir, but if you are going to purchase the dress, you have to order it ande pick it up in two weeks,¡± replied the woman behind the counter.


    ¡°And why do I have to do that?¡± JiHan asked coldly, unable to understand the reason.


    ¡°This dress is not the bride¡¯s perfect size so we need that time to customize the fit.¡±


    At the employee¡¯s response, JiHan looked at my back and saw that it was pinned up to show it¡¯s proper fit.


    ¡°Then I¡¯d like to order the dress with the correct size measurements ande pick it up in two weeks.¡±


    ¡°Yes sir. Should I call the number written here when it¡¯s done?¡±


    ¡°No, not that one.¡±


    ¡°Sorry?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯lle back for the fitted er but I¡¯m going to buy this dress now.¡±


    ¡°But sir, the size doesn¡¯t fit...¡±


    ¡°The size might not fit but the timing does,¡± JiHan replied sharply.


    He reached into his pocket, took out MY card and ced it on the desk.


    ***


    I was dragged to the front of the car by JiHan.


    ¡°Why did I buy this!¡± I cried out.


    ¡°Are you nning to steal it then?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not what I mean! I¡¯m only going to wear this once on my wedding day, so what¡¯s the point of buying it! I can just rent it!¡±


    ¡°You won¡¯t be only wearing this on your wedding day.¡±


    ¡°Then what, are you going to wear it? I¡¯m only going to wear it that one day! Have you lost your mind? Do you know how expensive this is? And not one, but two!¡±


    I couldn¡¯t believe I¡¯d just wracked up thousands of dors of debt on my credit card right in front of my eyes. I was so traumatized by it that I couldn¡¯t think straight and my voice got progressively louder.


    JiHan continued to walk to the passenger¡¯s side and stood me by the door. Then he grabbed my shoulders.


    ¡°Look, AhJung, is this really the time to be nagging me about buying a dress? I just confessed my feelings for you!¡±


    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s right!¡±


    Due to the shock of buying the dress, the shock of his confession had gotten lost. JiHanughed in disbelief. He opened the car door and shoved me inside.


    As he forcefully sat me down, I felt a prickle on my back and tried to get back up, but JiHan pushed down on my shoulders and kept me rooted to the spot. I felt pins and needles on my back again and I tried desperately to get him off me.


    ¡°Ah, ow!¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s all prickly! My back! It hurts! Help!¡±


    I grabbed at Lee JiHan¡¯s arm as if it was a safety rope and pleaded.


    JiHan thankfully let me out of the car. Then he turned me around and checked my back.


    The moment I got out, the prickling had stopped so I calmed myself down with only some tears in my eyes. I suddenly felt fingertips touch my back ever so slightly. I felt his touch on the ce that had been prickling previously and felt a shock of electricity. I turned in surprise.


    ¡°Oh my God, what do you think you¡¯re doing?¡±


    I was only turned halfway when JiHan grabbed my shoulders and turned me back around. I spun and ended up in the same position.


    ¡°You have pins in your back,¡± JiHan told me.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°If you sit back down with those in your back, it will hurt again but if you don¡¯t like me touching you then you can try taking them out yourself.¡±


    I reached behind me for the pin, and finally felt something. At that moment, my back cramped.


    ¡°Ahhh,¡± I moaned in pain and instinctively put down my arm.


    JiHan sighed, looking at me pathetically.


    ¡°Put down your hand and stop acting silly. It¡¯s not like you have eyes on your back so why bother.¡±


    He pped my back at my useless ruse. He didn¡¯t hit me hard enough for it to hurt, but I flinched as my body reacted to it.


    Ignoring my action, JiHan put one hand on my shoulder and the other at my back. His hands had only grazed my back when I flinched again, but he continued on and removed the pin.


    My back was perpetually at attention as JiHan removed the pins. I stood there with my fists clenched, biting my lip. Everytime I felt his touch, electricity shot through me. I never knew my back was so sensitive!


    Not knowing how much I was agonizing over this random sensitivity, JiHan¡¯s hands still moved swiftly. When my back seemed to finally feel loosened, he took away his hands.


    ¡°All done.¡±


    He pushed me back into the passenger¡¯s seat.

 Chapter 34

    <h4>Chapter 34</h4>


    Na AhJung


    The ce where Lee JiHan¡¯s car had arrived was the most well-known theater on College Street. I wondered if we were going to go see a y. JiHan parked his car in the underground structure and pulled me out of the car. Then with his hands in mine, he walked us to the elevator.


    ¡°What¡¯s going on? You¡¯re not thinking of taking me to see a y when I¡¯m dressed like this, are you?¡± I asked as I was pulled forward. JiHan pressed the 1st-floor button of the elevator and stood next to me.


    The first floor. The first floor where the lobby is. I cringed as I imagined all the people that would be there.


    ¡°Are you serious! I¡¯m going to go see a y? Me, like this?¡±


    JiHan looked at me calmly. ¡°How could that possibly be an outfit to see a y? It¡¯s more like an outfit to be in one.¡±


    ¡°Then, why are we here¡ª¡± The elevator door opened before I could finish.


    ¡°No!¡± I hid behind JiHan, grabbing his waist and burying my face in his back.


    For those few seconds, I closed my eyes and desperately tried to find a way out. If I refused to get out, the elevator would take us back to the parking lot. Or I could borrow JiHan¡¯s jacket to hide my dress...


    ¡°If you¡¯re going to give me a back hug, you should do it properly,¡± JiHan quipped.


    My eyes snapped open as his words interrupted my thoughts. ¡°What? This isn¡¯t a back hug?¡±


    I stumbled backward as I released him instantaneously. Jihan turned around to face me, then grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of the elevator. Just like that, I found myself standing in the lobby but strangely, it was empty. Not just the lobby, but my entire surroundings seemed to be devoid of any living souls.


    ¡°What is this? Why is there no one here?¡±


    If there was no one I could see, that meant that there was no one here to see me as well. Rxing, I looked aroundfortably not feeling the need to cover up my wedding dress. JiHan pulled me forward. When he opened the door, I found that the auditorium was also empty.


    ¡°Um, are you sure there is a y going on today?¡± I asked Lee JiHan quizzically.


    ¡°We didn¡¯te here to see a y,¡± he said, his attention on the stage.


    ¡°Then what?¡±


    Silence.


    I asked again, but JiHan just stood there looking up at the stage so I stared at the stage too. It had been set up to mimic a luxurious restaurant. I thought it strange to have such a lovely set when no one was here. While I was trying to wrap my head around it, JiHan pulled me over toward the scene.


    We climbed up on the stage, and I found that the candles on the table were lit with real fire. The table, utensils, and food were real as well. Everything was set up for a real dinner.


    ¡°Let¡¯s sit. It¡¯s almost dinner time.¡± JiHan sat me at the table in the middle of the stage then sat across from me.


    Sitting there, I stared at the tes full of food in front of me.


    ¡°This was all catered from a restaurant and sent here to match our arrival time,¡± JiHan said.


    ¡°Was that necessary? Why bother with all this here...¡± I blinked in confusion.


    At my reaction, Lee JiHan stared straight into my eyes. ¡°Because I want to give you the perfect confession of my feelings,¡± he said.


    ¡°Ah, a confession. What you did back there...¡±


    Wait, he did...he did?!¡± My eyes became huge as I remembered how JiHan had confessed back at the dress shop. But he shook his head as if to say that was not the real thing.


    ¡°I¡¯m not the type to just nce over the situation as if on a whim,¡± he assured me strongly. He picked up his knife and fork. ¡°First, let¡¯s eat.¡±


    ¡°Eat? Are you going to eat now? Now?¡±


    He causes an emotional earthquake and he wants to eat?


    JiHan answered casually as he continued to cut his food. ¡°It¡¯s time to eat now. My very detailed and thought out n¡¯s first scene is dinner.¡±


    ¡°First scene? Exactly how many scenes are there?¡±


    ¡°Eat. Then we can move on to the next one.¡±


    He poked a piece of meat with his fork and ced it in his mouth. With a calm and unhurried demeanor, his gaze locked onto me.


    Wow...is that the expression of someone ready to confess? I was at a loss for words due to the surreality of the whole situation when Jihan swallowed and began to speak.


    ¡°Why aren¡¯t you eating?¡±


    ¡°Because I¡¯ll probably get indigestion if I eat now.¡±


    ¡°Then at least pretend to eat.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Look to your left.¡± JiHan pointed with his fork.


    I followed its direction and saw therge auditorium filled with seats. It was ten times as big as the small theater in which I¡¯d performed. Maybe even 20 times bigger. It even had a second story. I stared bitterly at the luxurious interior of the clean auditorium, there probably wasn¡¯t a single bug.


    When I was younger, I had no greater wish than to perform at a ce like this. It had taken a long time toe to terms with the fact that something like that would never happen for someone like me. I was only able to ept it after many trials and failures. Once I¡¯d reached my thirties, I¡¯d let the dream die.


    ¡°Na AhJung, you¡¯re on stage now.¡± JiHan¡¯s voice interrupted my thoughts.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°The audience is watching you. So as your part implies, you have to at least pretend to eat.¡± JiHan watched me intently.


    ¡°But...there¡¯s no one in the audience?¡± I answered, checking therge space again.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure there¡¯s at least one ghost floating around.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°You may not be able to see it, but you shouldn¡¯t just disregard it. Even if only one ghost is watching, you should do your best as a professional actress.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s...true, but¡ª¡±


    ¡°Eating the meal I¡¯ve prepared for you. That¡¯s the first scene of Na AhJung¡¯s part. Go,¡± JiHanmanded.


    I grabbed the knife and fork as the sound of a whistle went off in my head. Then I put arge piece of meat inside my mouth. As I chewed and swallowed the meat, JiHan spoke with a pleased expression on his face.


    ¡°You are indeed a pro. Coincidentally, my next line corresponds exactly to this very situation.¡±


    ¡°Next line? What¡¯s that?¡± I asked.


    JiHan ced his chin atop his hands. ¡°Na AhJung, you are the most beautiful when you are acting on stage.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°The first time I fell in love with you was when you were acting on stage.¡± JiHan smiled discreetly as if enjoying a shback. ¡°You can continue along this path. It¡¯s not toote. The words my brother said to you after seeing your y. The moment I wanted to say those words to you. That¡¯s when it all started.¡±


    His shback must have ended because JiHan removed his chin from his hands, folded them together on the table, and continued with a serious look on his face.


    ¡°I, of course, know that you are in love with my brother and not me because the words you so wanted to hear came from my brother first. If I saw you first, then I would have said it first, but unfortunately, my brother beat me to it.¡±


    No. JiKyung never said those words to me. Those words...Lee JiHan was the first to say those words to me. Unable to reveal this secret, I sat there staring mutely at JiHan. He nodded as if he understood my reaction.


    ¡°I know it¡¯s going to be difficult for you to ept me so suddenly. Especially because my brother is returning in two weeks and your wedding is in a month. To break off the wedding and ask you toe to me, your fianc¨¦¡¯s brother probably doesn¡¯t make any sense to you.¡±


    I stared in silence.


    ¡°It will only make sense if you love me back,¡± JiHan said and stared at me intently. ¡°I¡¯ve thought deeply about what I would need to do to make that happen, and I prepared for it.¡±


    I was still dumbstruck.


    ¡°Now it¡¯s your turn to stand up, go to the table next to us and bring over the box.¡± Like the director of a y, Jihan directed my next actions.


    I did as I was told. I stood up and walked to the table beside us. On the table was a small box that looked like a ring case. I picked up the box and returned to the table. It couldn¡¯t be a ring, could it? Am I scared, or hopeful? My heartbeat confusedly.


    ¡°Sit down and open it.¡±


    At Lee JiHan¡¯s words, I sat and carefully opened the top. Inside was not a ring but a gold-colored USB stick.


    ¡°What is it?¡± A USB stick. Not knowing what that was all about, I looked to Lee JiHan for an answer.


    ¡°The ywright Noh HeeChul wrote aic y with you as the female lead.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s notpleted yet, but the basic synopsis is on there.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Once it¡¯spleted, you will be its leading actress. The part was made to fit you specifically. Only you can be sessful in portraying it.¡±


    ¡°What??¡±


    ¡°And it will be performed in this theater.¡±


    ¡°What?!¡±


    ¡°How many times are you going to say ¡®what?''¡±


    ¡°...what?¡±


    Lee JiHan looked discontent as he watched me with crossed arms. Then, as if hypnotizing himself, he shook his head and spoke again.


    ¡°Never mind. This is the really important point so just shut your mouth and listen.¡±


    I almost asked ¡®what¡¯ again reflexively so I blocked my mouth with my hands. Then, looking at Lee Jihan, I nodded. He calmly continued while looking deeply into my eyes.


    ¡°If youe to me, Na AhJung, you can keep going on this path. For you, it isn¡¯t toote and you will seed. I will go with you, I believe in you. My brother may have been the first to tell you your worth, but I¡¯m the only person that will think and act ordingly to make it work out for you,¡± JiHan concluded with confidence in his eyes. Rxing a little, he smiled.


    ¡°So, put down that hand, ande to me,¡± he told me, pointing at my hands.


    As if announcing the end of his detailed and thought out n of a confession, he sat there pleased. Now all I had to do was respond, but I didn¡¯t respond or do anything. My body seemed to have forgotten how to put down my hands from my mouth. How to breathe. I wasn¡¯t sure if this was a dream or not. Time stood still.


    ***


    I sat unmoving for a long time after the confession. I wasn¡¯t able to give JiHan an answer. Unlike me, Lee JiHan was not frozen. He was not only calm but kept his sophisticatedposure as he continued to eat as if this was all perfectly normal.


    Even after dinner, when we went back to his car. Even when we arrived home. I was just a frozen statue that Lee JiHan was carrying around with him.


    Once he sat me in my room, I reflexively grabbed hold of my teddy bear and embraced it. Then I looked up at JiHan. He always looked pleased every time I sat hugging the bear, and he smiled again. He¡¯s not acting differently at all? Is this a dream? Did I dream that Lee JiHan confessed to me? Did I fall asleep while I was eating? Wouldn¡¯t it make more sense if it was a dream?


    As I doubted the situation, JiHan grabbed my shoulder and lowered his gaze to match mine.


    ¡°If you¡¯re thinking it over because of my brother, then you will finish with that thought today. This is your life¡¯s path to happiness. You might love my brother right now but you will eventuallye to love me because there are plenty of reasons to! You will think about my brother onest time today and starting tomorrow, you will only think about me.¡±


    Oh, it¡¯s not a dream. I thought to myself, feeling Lee JiHan¡¯s hand on my shoulder. But why does it still feel like a dream? My brain felt all hazy as if it was a dream. I slid my hand under the teddy bear and pinched my leg. Huh, it doesn¡¯t hurt? A wave of disappointment swept over me. It is a dream. I looked at my leg sadly and JiHan¡¯s hand disappeared from my shoulder. I lifted my head, certain that this was a dream, but then I saw JiHan at the tea table lifting my diary. He walked over and handed it to me.


    ¡°You seem to be out of your wits right now, so pull yourself together, and write in full detail my confession to you today.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Reminisce about the moment of my confession and write word by word what happened. Then you will realize how great it was.¡±


    Seeing I was still dazed, he lifted the diary above my head and ced it on top.


    ¡°Once you write the entry, you will realize that it¡¯s not a dream.¡± He turned and headed to the door.


    ¡°Wait!¡± As I called for him, Lee JiHan turned his head. ¡°The diary...diary,¡± I said dazedly. ¡°I don¡¯t think I can write properly in this state.¡±


    JiHan turned back, wondering what I was babbling about. As if I was sleep talking, I asked him for a favor.


    ¡°That confession...can you do it again?¡±


    ***


    JiHan turned on the recording function on his cellphone and confessed his feelings again. When he finally left the room, I sat alone at the desk, transcribing each word of the recording into my diary.


    If youe to me, Na AhJung, you can keep going on this path. For you, it isn¡¯t toote and you will seed. I will go with you, I believe in you. My brother may have been the first to tell you your worth, but I¡¯m the only person that will think and act ordingly to make it work out for you.


    I wrote each word of the repeated confession with diligence. When I closed the diary uponpletion, I finally understood that it had all been real. Lee JiHan had confessed his feelings to me. Lee JiHan liked me. This was not a dream. What in the world? How does this make sense? Why me? What do I have to offer? At the realization of the confession¡¯s reality, I questioned its validity with my sad truths, and the recording answered my imposing questions.


    When you finish writing in your diary today, reread it from the 1st page. Every time you turn each page, look at your pictures up there. The audio stopped after that point. It felt like the suggestion held some deep importance, so I quickly reopened the diary. I read one page, then looked up at the pictures. Then I read another and looked again at the pictures. As I did this, I began to see myself from JiHan¡¯s perspective.


    In his eyes, I must have looked beautiful...


    I nodded looking at the pictures. Then I lowered my gaze to the diary once again.


    And that¡¯s why he treated me that way


    I read and nodded.


    I can understand it now. I can!


    I suddenly stopped my nodding. Oh my, I must be insane? Am I this vain? Those pictures were taken by a professional photographer. Even if we handed him a pumpkin, he could transform it into a watermelon. That¡¯s the type of person who took those pictures! Even if it is me, of course, the pictures look pretty! Na AhJung, wake up! That¡¯s not the real you! You can¡¯t be that beautiful!


    I stood up from my bed and headed to the full-length mirror. I stood in front of it and stared at the reflection. I realized two things at that point. One was that I was still wearing the wedding dress and the other...


    I look pretty??


    The other was that in my eyes, I realized that I did look beautiful.


    Really! It¡¯s true!


    My reflection had on an expression that looked as if she couldn¡¯t believe it, so I shook back and forth in the mirror. I let go after the relentless shaking and found my reflection smiling wide. So wide I thought my eyes would disappear and my lips would rip apart. Has there ever been a moment I¡¯ve looked so happy? No. However much I tried to remember, in my 33 years of my life, I¡¯d never seen my face make that expression.


    I lowered my gaze and put my hand over my heart. It was pounding so hard, it felt as if it would prate my skin. It told me to run, run and confess my feelings as well. My heart was relentless. It told me to tell JiHan that I liked him too.


    ¡°Yes! I¡¯m going to hold onto him!¡± I yelled and headed to the door.


    But then, my phone sitting on the desk pinged. A text message had arrived. What is it? Is it Lee JiHan? Does he have something else to say? I froze for a moment then went quickly to the desk to check the message. It was not JiHan who had sent the message.


    It was JiKyung.

 Chapter 35

    <h4>Chapter 35</h4>


    [Did you go wedding dress shopping today? Did you pick the one you like?]


    I felt like I had been flying over the clouds and suddenly been struck by lightning. My heart stopped and my stomach dropped. I copsed onto the floor in despair.


    [I¡¯m curious. Show me a picture.]


    I sighed heavily as I saw the iing text, but another text came through at that same moment.


    [I am the groom, so I think I should be the first to see my bride¡¯s wedding dress. Don¡¯t you think?]


    No, I don¡¯t think that. Some other guy saw it first...but that guy is your brother. I covered my face with both hands. Why, when my wedding day was fast approaching, did I fall in love for the first time...with my fianc¨¦¡¯s brother! I¡¯ve lost it. I¡¯mpletely insane.


    I shook my head, hating myself, but then suddenly stopped. I turned my head to the full-length mirror.


    ¡°But how could I not like him?¡± I asked myself out loud.


    I couldn¡¯t see my expression in the mirror properly, but I stood up and started conversing with my pictures on the wall.


    ¡°He sees me like this, and¡ª¡± I grabbed the diary and pushed it in front of the mirror. ¡°He treats me like this! I¡¯ve never had a man treat me like this! How could I not fall for him? Plus, JiHan knows I¡¯m going to marry his brother, but he still says he likes me! He likes me that much!¡±


    Thinking that it wasn¡¯t fair, I fell to the floor like a kite whose string had been cut.


    ¡°Yeah, he likes me even though he thinks this marriage is real...when in reality he¡¯s being fooled,¡± I mumbled.


    I was fooling JiHan into thinking that I love his brother and that is why I¡¯m marrying him. I remembered all the times I had acted in front of him, pretending this. JiHan thinks that¡¯s the truth...what do I do? It had not been for love, but money. I was a scam artist who went into a contract wedding worth $500,000. If Lee JiHan knew this, would he still love me? Even if I¡¯m this scam artist, a liar? No, he wouldn¡¯t abandon me...


    I pulled at my hair in frustration. The marriage with his brother, the love for his brother, if he found out that this was all a lie, JiHan would take everything back. No, he would destroy me. Of course, he would.


    You might love my brother right now but you will eventuallye to me. His words brought tears to my eyes. Even if I don¡¯t love his brother, I¡¯m not able to go to him.


    I hung my head, trying to resist tears. I hadn¡¯t realized it but my diary and phoney on the ground as if I¡¯d dropped them. I stared at them.


    Well. Now I¡¯ve lost both of them. Now I can¡¯t even go to JiKyung. Knowing Lee JiHan had these feelings for me, I wouldn¡¯t be able to marry his brother. I can¡¯t do that. That will be a horrible thing to do.


    I lowered my head, crying. I wiped the tears streaming down my face with the back of my palm and was about to dry it off on my clothes when I realized that I was wearing an expensive wedding dress.


    Ah, this is expensive! I¡¯m going to return it! I removed my hand from the dress before it was toote. Luckily, I didn¡¯t get any tears on it. Where could I wipe it off? I held my hands up awkwardly, looking around. As I did so, I took a good look at all the things in my room. This was the first time I had my own room, personal space. I had never been worthy of having such a thing. I was not worthy of this room or JiHan¡¯s heart.


    I lowered my head guiltily. Letting my hand dry on its own, I looked at the diary on the floor. Yes. In that diary, I was a horrible person. I had lied to the person who had treated me with such sincerity for the first time in my life. I was not worthy to receive all the love I had in that diary. I started to cry again, hating myself.


    Oh, I shouldn¡¯t...I have to return this dress. I can¡¯t get it wet. I caught the tears that fell down my cheeks with my hands. Then looking around, I saw the tissues on top of the vanity. I should change out of my dress and just cry in peace.


    I tried desperately to stop the tears and was determined not to get a single tear on the dress as I took it off. I convinced myself that I had to confess my sins to Lee JiHan. Even if it was for thest time, I wanted to tell him the truth just once, as he had with me. Let¡¯s tell him the truth about my feelings and receive the punishment. I couldn¡¯t let him continue to like me with the lie hanging over my head. My life was always like this. The reward for doing the best I could never seem toe, but the punishment was already standing and ready to be delivered.


    With this mindset, I kneeled in front of Lee JiHan¡¯s bedroom door and waited until he came out. I didn¡¯t know if he had left it on all night, or if he had already woken up and turned it on, but out of his room came the sound of music. The familiar melody of Canon hit my ear. When Canon stopped, I put my hands over my knees and clenched them tightly. Then biting my lips, I waited anxiously.


    Don¡¯t cry, don¡¯t cry, don¡¯t cry. Even after having cried all night, my eyes started to water again, but I quickly rubbed them and swallowed my tears. As I put down my hands, the door burst open.


    Suddenly filled with fear, I closed my eyes. After a deep breath, I opened my eyes and looked up. Lee JiHan looked down at me, startled.


    ¡°What are you doing here at this hour?¡± he asked.


    ¡°I have something to confess,¡± I said as calmly as I could, mustering all the bravery I had.


    ¡°Do you have to do it in that particr position? Are you waiting for the death penalty?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not able to say I don¡¯t deserve it,¡± I mumbled.


    ¡°Not able to say you don¡¯t deserve it?¡± JiHan narrowed his eyes suspiciously. ¡°Did you lose the USB I gave you yesterday?¡±


    ¡°What? No, it¡¯s not that.¡±


    ¡°Are you sure?¡± JiHan asked me as he pulled out the gold USB from his pants pocket. ¡°You left this at the theater yesterday after I confessed. You looked a bit frazzled then so I collected it for you. Did you not even realize that you¡¯d lost it?¡± He handed me the USB, looking worried about my stone-faced expression.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry about this too,¡± I said. I hadn¡¯t even confessed my wrongdoing yet and I had already gotten caught with another one.


    I received the USB with both hands and stuck it into my pocket. JiHan looked at me with his arms crossed waiting.


    ¡°Looking at your reaction, I¡¯m assuming it wasn¡¯t because of the USB. Then what is it? This reason for the death penalty?¡±


    I took another big breath. I squeezed my fist so hard it hurt and opened my mouth to reveal my secret.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I...I¡¯ve been lying to you. I¡¯m not marrying JiKyung because I love him.¡±


    ¡°You aren¡¯t marrying him because you love him?¡±


    ¡°Yes. Actually¡ª¡±


    Seeing JiHan¡¯s expression change, I got scared and, unable to stand it any longer, I hung my head in shame. With my eyes closed, I blurted out my confession.


    ¡°I¡¯m marrying JiKyung for his money!¡±


    I did it. I can¡¯t take it back now. I continued, knowing there was no turning back.


    ¡°I don¡¯t love JiKyung. He asked me to marry him and I just decided to go along with it because of his money.¡± This was true to a point. I had indeed agreed to marry him to receive the contract money.


    Due to my greed, for money, I had decided to marry him. Without love, just for money. So let¡¯s only say this much. If I told JiHan that his brother wanted this fake marriage, it would put JiKyung in a bad position. He doesn¡¯t love me, because he¡¯s gay. Let¡¯s at least make sure that truth doesn¡¯te out.


    I waited for Lee JiHan¡¯s reaction. Soon, I heard his voice.


    ¡°Even without loving my brother, you tried that hard to get my approval for the marriage?¡±


    Based on his response, I was unable to decipher JiHan¡¯s feelings on the issue.


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    He remained quiet at my answer. Then he asked me an unexpected question.


    ¡°But why are you revealing this to me now?¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I looked up at him in surprise.


    JiHan stared at me intently without changing his expression. ¡°You decided to marry my brother for his money and used all your strength to gain my approval. Then shouldn¡¯t you still be clutching onto this opportunity instead of confessing this to me?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to hold on to this opportunity any longer. I¡¯m giving up on this marriage.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°After I heard your confession yesterday, I didn¡¯t think I should go on fooling you any more. So¡ª¡±


    ¡°You could have just refused my advances,¡± JiHan said coldly.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°All you had to say was ¡®I am in love with your brother, so I can¡¯t ept your feelings for me.¡¯ You could have just rejected me and married my brother as nned. But why are you giving it up?¡±


    ¡°If I do that, then it will make things difficult for you.¡±


    ¡°Why does that matter to you? Me having a hard time doesn¡¯t make my brother¡¯s money disappear. I just can¡¯t seem to understand why you are giving up money because of me.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s...¡± I had been determined to tell him everything truthfully, but I couldn¡¯t get the words out of my mouth.


    Unable to say anything, I just stared at the ground. JiHan stepped close to me, sighed heavily, then yelled as if he was angry.


    ¡°Are you sitting there because you don¡¯t know the answer to that?!¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Surprised I looked up at Lee JiHan.


    He grabbed my shoulder and raised me from the ground. Then he looked me in the eyes and shouted.


    ¡°You like me!¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Na AhJung, you like me! Are you not going to say it?!¡± JiHan insisted shaking me.


    ¡°I will, I will! I like you!¡±


    Once I said the words that had been stuck in my throat this whole time, Lee JiHan froze.


    ¡°If you had said that a minuteter, I might have killed you,¡± he said with a voice that still held a hint of anger.


    It didn¡¯t sound like just words, but a viable threat. I swallowed nervously, but he let go of me. I wasn¡¯t sure if I had confessed or been interrogated. JiHan closed his eyes and let out a great big sigh. When he opened his eyes again, his gaze was rxed.


    ¡°Whether it was for money or love, you still were the person my brother was going to marry.¡±


    I looked at him, unsure of what to say next.


    ¡°Marrying my brother would have been more important than my feelings for you, but the fact that you confessed to me means that whatever the reason for the marriage was initially, I¡¯ve be more important to you. You like me so that¡¯s that. I¡¯m content with that.¡±


    JiHan grabbed my shoulder. ¡°The situation has been settled,¡± he said rather frighteningly. So let¡¯s put a stamp on it.¡±


    ¡°Stamp? I don¡¯t have that here. They¡¯re¡ª¡±


    I had nned to say ¡°they¡¯re at my stepmother¡¯s house,¡± but before I could get the words out, JiHan¡¯s lips shut me up.


    He nted them firmly on mine like a stamp.


    ***


    What in the world? How did my life work out this easily! I can¡¯t believe it! But I want to! No, I will believe it! This is real! It¡¯s not a dream, it¡¯s real!


    Like a butterfly reborn out of a cocoon, I scrubbed my body in the bathtub, engraving the memories into my mind. After finishing my bath, I came out refreshed. Suddenly, I heard something that sounded like a whistle.


    That¡¯s weird. It sounds like the whistle that Lee JiHan used to blow.


    As I stopped and listened, the sound of the whistle disappeared and I heard JiHan¡¯s voice instead.


    ¡°I know you¡¯re out of the bathroom. Get in here, quick!¡±


    The whistle blew again.


    ¡°Oh, yes! I¡¯ming!¡± I called.


    Like I had been whipped, I ran towards the sounding from the kitchen. Lee JiHan was sitting at the table and blowing the whistle. Once he saw me, he stopped.


    ¡°Uh, why is that? I thought you threw the whistle away?¡±


    ¡°I bought it while you were taking a bath.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because I¡¯m going to use it now.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°First, sit.¡± JiHan pointed at the seat across from him. There was a te of familiar-looking foodying on the table.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t this beef bourguignon?¡±


    ¡°Yes, you gained one point.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°You better be able to guess why I made this. Can you figure it out?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s...¡± I contemted the random question and ryed my deduction. ¡°Because it¡¯s the first meal you made me. That¡¯s why you made it... for me¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s correct. An additional one point.¡± JiHan pped twice, then added, ¡°It¡¯s the first day of us officially dating, so I chose the menu ordingly.¡±


    The first day! Fireworks were exploding in my head. I folded my hands together, filled with happiness.


    ¡°Then I will eat it like I did the first time!¡± I said excitedly as I picked up the spoon.


    JiHan propped his hand under his chin and observed me. I drenched the meat in the sauce, put it in my mouth, chewed thoughtfully, and swallowed.


    ¡°Huh? This tastes different from before,¡± I said sensing something was off.


    At this, JiHan frowned. ¡°That can¡¯t be. It¡¯s the same recipe...¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s different. Way different, it¡¯s even more delicious! How could it be like this? Did you secretly attend a cooking ss? How did your skills get even better?¡±


    JiHan smiled at my mboyant overreaction.


    ¡°This girl just gained 100 points in one shot,¡± he said.


    I was curious why he kept keeping points but I didn¡¯t ask. I was too busy eating, and eating, and eating. My mouth didn¡¯t have the luxury of talking.

 Chapter 36

    <h4>Chapter 36</h4>


    After finishing the meal, Lee JiHan sat me on the bed and instructed me strictly. ¡°We will now start our dating orientation.¡±


    Hugging my teddy bear, I looked up at Lee JiHan expectedly. He lifted his whistle and showed it to me.


    ¡°I will now exin the meaning behind this whistle,¡± he said. ¡°This object represents your past desperation in regards to my brother.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°You have done everything in your power to abide by this whistle to gain my approval for this wedding,¡± Lee JiHan said. ¡°You woke up in the middle of sleeping. You ran from all the way over there just because of this.¡±


    ¡°I did do that. But, it wasn¡¯t because I was in love with JiKyung...¡±


    ¡°Yes, it was because of my brother¡¯s money,¡± he said. ¡°Whether the reason was money or love, you wanted to marry my brother. And, you reacted with such urgency to this whistle because of it.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s...¡±


    ¡°Whenever I blow this whistle, I will be reminded of how desperate you were for the sake of my brother, and you will be reminded of your lie to me,¡± Lee JiHan said.


    ¡°Then, I¡¯ll make sure we never see the whistle,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ll clear it away every time I see it lying around anywhere.¡±


    ¡°Do you really think that¡¯s possible?¡± he asked. ¡°Don¡¯t you know about Sleeping Beauty?¡±


    ¡°Of course I know that,¡± I said. ¡°What do you take me for? It¡¯s the story where the princess gets pricked by the spinning wheel and falls asleep.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a spindle.¡± Lee JiHan couldn¡¯t help but correct me. ¡°How exactly do you get pricked by a spinning wheel?¡±


    ¡°Ah, that¡¯s right, it was spindle,¡± I said.


    ¡°Anyway, the girl¡¯s parents burned all the spindles because they thought it would kill their daughter, but she eventually gets pricked by one that was stuffed in a ce they hadn¡¯t thought of,¡± Lee JiHan said shaking his head and clicking his tongue. ¡°There is no way you can get rid of every single one. Even the nobility in fairy tales couldn¡¯t achieve the task. So, in real life, it¡¯s literally impossible. Instead of giving me an unreasonable n, find me a better solution.¡±


    ¡°Which would be?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Starting from now, you will react to this whistle in desperation on my ount for a month,¡± he seriously stated.


    ¡°For a month?!¡± The color from my face drained.


    ¡°What is this reaction? You could do it for my brother but not for me?¡± he asked.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s... It¡¯s not that...¡±


    I only did that because I had no choice! In front of a future inw, what other option did I have? But, who would stand this while they are dating?!


    Thinking that it wasn¡¯t fair, I looked depressingly at Lee JiHan. He responded by blowing the whistle. The sound automatically made me stand straight. I was pouting like a baby who had her lollipop taken away.


    No! My dating fantasy is not this! I screamed in my head.


    Lee JiHan, in turn, lowered the whistle and asked, ¡°Na AhJung, do you think I will make you do unreasonable things?¡±


    ¡°You did thest time,¡± I mumbled under my breath as I stared at the ground.


    Lee JiHan¡¯s voice sounded again. ¡°It won¡¯t be the same asst time. Before I was testing you on your capabilities as a wife to my brother. Now, we¡¯re dating.¡±


    I raised my eyes up to Lee JiHan, still unsure by the prospect.


    Lee JiHan spread open my arms. ¡°First,e hug me.¡±


    I shuffled over nervously and wrapped my arms around his waist.


    Lee JiHan wrapped his arms around my shoulders and softly said, ¡°If we don¡¯t go through this, I¡¯m afraid I might get mad from time to time about the fact that you tricked me. I might be okay with it now, but as time passes, the grudge I hold may get bigger. Just think of it as a way to get rid of even the tiniest hint of a grudge and understand me.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t say I disagreed with him. It was a big lie that I had told, and to get that all waived without any retribution... There had to be a way to take responsibility for it, for Lee JiHan and for me.


    Understanding where he wasing from, I nodded. I had been so excited about the dream of dating that I had unfair childlike thinking. Thinking back, I was embarrassed to even respond.


    ¡°So, the first month of us dating will be with the whistle,¡± Lee JiHan said. ¡°With that, I end the orientation.¡±


    Lee JiHan patted my back and unwrapped his arms from me. With both hands on my cheeks, he looked me in the eyes and added, ¡°Now that the orientation has ended, it is time for the hearing.¡±


    ¡°What? We¡¯re doing what?¡± I asked in shock.


    ¡°It is time to determine if what you said was the truth or a lie. We will discuss this thoroughly here at this tea table.¡± Lee JiHan had the whistle in his mouth again and he blew.


    ***


    When we had finished the hearing, which took several hours, the sun was setting from outside the window. I was exhausted from the interrogation, so I staggered to my bed and plopped onto it.


    In the middle of the interrogation, Lee JiHan had bought me chicken soup for lunch. I had devoured it just the same as always. However, like a person that had only a bowl of gruel, I had no energy.


    ¡°How is this dating...¡± I said to myself with a huge sigh.


    Lee JiHan, sitting next to me with a wide smile, replied, ¡°We are now going on a date, so change your clothes ande out. You will now know how this is dating.¡±


    Wow... He made me into this mess, and he smiles... And, what? Go out now? I even have to change?


    ¡°Mister... Can¡¯t we just rest? I¡¯m so tired...¡± I pleaded, unable to even think about moving.


    Lee JiHan was still smiling. ¡°Let¡¯s go out and rest. Out.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to move a finger...¡± I said in a dying voice.


    Lee JiHan slipped his hands behind my back and lifted my legs up. He was still smiling ear to ear.


    ¡°What, what are you doing?¡± I angrily asked.


    ¡°I¡¯ll take you out without you having to move a finger,¡± he said .¡±Just stay still.¡±


    ¡°But, my clothes! What about my clothes?¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to change,¡± Lee JiHan replied. ¡°What you¡¯re wearing is fine.¡±


    I gave in and said, ¡°Ah, it¡¯s alright, OK. Put me down. I¡¯ll go on my own.¡±


    It¡¯s not like it¡¯s our first night of our honeymoon or anything. It¡¯s our first day of dating, and I¡¯m already in this sort of position?!


    My face was burning, so I tried to get down as fast as possible. Lee JiHan continued to take long strides toward the door with me still in his arms.


    ***


    Lee JiHan sat in the driver¡¯s seat after carrying me all the way to the car. I almost cried in embarrassment the whole way there, but he just continued smiling. The moment after the hearing, his face seemed to be stuck like that.


    So strange... Was the hearing funny? Is it because it was funny?


    I thought back to the hearing trying to solve this mystery.


    We went through each of the things I had said in the past, and he had asked, ¡°Is that real? Is that the truth?¡± One by one, he had asked in detail and had remained shrewd and cool headed.


    I didn¡¯t remember everything. Certain circumstances put me in a tough spot. I tried to cover those by using those words. Once I did, I got an earful. Thinking about the hearing again is giving me chills.


    However much I look back at it, there doesn¡¯t seem to be any funny instances, so I couldn¡¯t understand why Lee JiHan can¡¯t stop smiling like that. Is it something other than the hearing?


    Unable to figure it out, my head tilted back and forth in thought.


    ¡°Na AhJung, is something wrong?¡± Lee JiHan asked.


    I flinched at the sudden question. How is he so observant? I looked at him surprise and answered, ¡°Uh, it¡¯s just... You keep smiling, and I was wondering why.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m happy thinking about how the hearing went,¡± he said.


    So, the hearing was the reason. But why?


    ¡°Was there something to smile about during the hearing?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Most of the time, a lie is bad, but your lie made me happy,¡± Lee JiHan replied.


    ¡°What?¡± I waspletely confused.


    ¡°You can keep going down this path,¡± he said. ¡°It¡¯s not toote. Everything will work out. All the things I thought my brother said first was a lie, and the love story with my brother was also a lie. You said you couldn¡¯t stop your heart from beating with the love you had, so you wanted me to ept it, but all that was also a lie.¡±


    My face turned red remembering all the toe curling lies I had told, but Lee JiHan continued on.


    ¡°Every time one of those lies came to light, my anger subsided. It became a thought that could make me smile. That¡¯s why I¡¯m smiling with a more loving feeling than before.¡±


    Lee JiHan widened his grin even more so that his eyes were practically closed.


    Was it crazy for me to think that Lee JiHan¡¯s aura could be seen at that moment? I folded my hands together and looked at his smile, which was brighter than his golden hair.


    Oh... Is this what they mean when they say you can find light in confession...


    With this revtion, I regained all the energy I had lost. I had to do something. The me who had not wanted to lift a finger had been chased away by a new energy-filled version. I looked at Lee JiHan with sparkling eyes.


    ¡°What are we doing today? What should we do?¡± I energetically asked, wanting to do anything together.


    ¡°First, let¡¯s eat,¡± he said.


    ¡°Then? Then what are we going to do?¡± I asked.


    ¡°We¡¯re going to watch a movie,¡± Lee JiHan replied.


    ¡°Which one?¡± I asked.


    His response was strange. ¡°I¡¯m curious about the ending, so we are going to watch that one.¡±


    ¡°Curious about the ending? Which one is that?¡±


    I could have annoyed him with my incessant questions, but Lee JiHan just smiled at me, pleased by my excitement.


    ¡°The first movie we saw together,¡± he said.


    ¡°What?¡± I froze like a robot that had suddenly be unplugged.


    Lee JiHan started the car without a change in expression and said, ¡°I didn¡¯t get to see the ending of that movie. I want to know what happens with the sister-inw and brother-inw.¡±


    Was it only in my memory that this was an erotic movie?


    ***


    The movie was ying on the screen in the dark theater, but Na AhJung was looking down at the popcorn instead of the screen.


    ¡°Why are you like that? Are you not going to watch the movie?¡± I asked.


    I had borrowed the entire theater, so I didn¡¯t lower my voice since the only person that would hear it would be Na AhJung.


    ¡°In a few moments, that brother-inw is going to, like, take off his uniform,¡± Na AhJung replied into the popcorn bucket.


    ¡°He wouldn¡¯t, would he?¡± I asked pretending that something of the sort would not happen.


    I stole the popcorn away from Na AhJung. She looked at me with wide eyes. ¡°Would he? You watched thisst time, so what do you mean ¡®would he!¡¯ They¡¯re going to be, like, on the table, like, with the sister-inw, don¡¯t you remember?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll see. That won¡¯t happen,¡± I calmly said as I turned Na AhJung¡¯s head toward the screen.


    She jumped in surprise and put her hands in front of her eyes.


    ¡°Oh my! Oh my this is insane! How can I see this kind of stuff?¡± Na AhJung yelled not knowing what to do with herself.


    She soon became quiet. Sensing something was strange, she slowly peeked through her fingers. For a long time, Na AhJung stared at the screen. As if she was having a hallucination, she suddenly turned toward me.


    ¡°Uh... There was a rated R scene at this point...¡±


    ¡°I erased that part and made it PG 13,¡± I said.


    ¡°What?¡± Her face was filled with surprise.


    ¡°I asked the theatre beforehand to edit out the erotic scenes so you could watch it in peace,¡± I said.


    ¡°What in the world? That¡¯s possible?¡± Na AhJung asked.


    ¡°It¡¯s possible for me,¡± I replied.


    ¡°Wow...¡± Na AhJung¡¯s mouth dropped open in amazement.


    ¡°I¡¯m not stupid enough to show you those kinds of scenes,¡± I said.


    Na AhJung turned back to the screen with a sort of bitter expression on her face. She quietly muttered, ¡°Had to not be stupid enough...¡±


    What kind of reaction is that?


    ¡°You¡¯re not offended by me editing it out, are you?¡± I asked.


    Na AhJung flinched at my question. At this, she replied in a disappointed tone, ¡°I¡¯m just saying, as an artist myself, it doesn¡¯t seem right. Personally, it may be offensive to watch, but it is still someone¡¯s vision and work. And, you just chopped it up with your scissors. I just think it¡¯s not right.¡±


    I stared at Na AhJung surprised by this unexpected exnation. Still looking disappointed, she stuffed a handful of popcorn into her mouth. She chomped on it forcefully while shootingsers at the screen.


    ***


    The ending I had been curious about was as follows:


    While the husband was away, his brother and sister-inw fall madly in love. Suspecting something was amiss, the husbandes back early to the house without calling ahead. With his own two eyes, he finds the two of them doing the uneptable and so...


    Bang!


    The sudden gunshot made Na AhJung turn and hug the back of the seat.


    I frowned at the ridiculous conclusion. Seeing Na AhJung¡¯s reaction made me frown even more. ¡°Do you really think you should be hugging that now? With me next to you?¡±


    Even at my reproach, she continued holding onto the back of the seat. With a shaking voice she said, ¡°If I was to hug you here, and JiKyung saw, what would happen...¡±


    ¡°My brother is not in Korea right now,¡± I replied.


    She hesitantly said, ¡°He could havee back without us knowing...¡±


    ¡°Then what? Do you think I¡¯d shoot my brother like in the movie?¡± I asked.


    Na AhJung just looked at me.


    ¡°Really! There¡¯s no way I would shoot my brother!¡± I red at the screen with the ending credits. ¡°If I was to shoot anyone, I would shoot the director of this movie. Why¡¯d he make the movie like this? All of a sudden, the younger brother shoots the older one? It would make more sense if the older brother did the shooting. Plus, guns aren¡¯t even legal in Korea, so why is there one in the first ce? Why does that pop out of the drawer?¡±


    I wanted to pull out all the director¡¯s hair, but the only hair I could see was Na AhJung¡¯s. I shot up from my seat unable to contain my anger.


    ¡°The ridiculous ending has nothing to do with our ending, so don¡¯t go putting more meaning behind it,¡± I said. ¡°Our ending will never be like that.¡±


    I grabbed Na AhJung¡¯s arm and lifted her up. ¡°And, when you are scared, you grab this.¡±


    I wrapped Na AhJung¡¯s arms around my waist as if teaching her. Just as I had done with the teddy bear, I ced myself into her embrace.


    ¡°If I knew the movie was this junk, I wouldn¡¯t have watched it. You probably won¡¯t get a wink of sleep now,¡± I muttered as I patted Na AhJung¡¯s back.


    She still looked nervous as she nced around her surroundings. ¡°JiKyung is still on his business trip right? He is, isn¡¯t he?¡±


    My worry was definitely not something to overlook. I sighed deeply and shook my head.

 Chapter 37

    <h4>Chapter 37</h4>


    Even after returning home, Na AhJung¡¯s worry over my brother did not wane. Of course, her worry that I would shoot my brother did go away.


    With the rest of her worries intact, she held tightly onto her phone and paced around her room muttering. ¡°What do I do? How do I tell him? Ah, what do I do... Telling him that I¡¯m breaking off the wedding over a text is not right... I have to tell him face to face... Ah, how can I do that?¡±


    Watching Na AhJung while sitting at the tea table, I felt conflicted. She didn¡¯t know the reason behind my brother¡¯s sudden proposal. She only said yes because of the money prospects.


    She still doesn¡¯t know that my brother is gay. If I tell her now, will she be less sorry to my brother? Would it be easier to ask to break off the wedding? No. My brother wants to hide this fact, even going through with a fake wedding to cover it up. I can¡¯t just reveal the secret that my brother wants to hide so desperately...


    I rubbed my face unable to find the correct answer to this conflict. Na AhJung fell onto her bed.


    ¡°Ah, what am I supposed to do?¡± she screamed into her pillow.


    Feeling ufortable, I narrowed my eyes. ¡°So, why did you say you were going to do it? I said I would deal with it.¡±


    ¡°No, I have to do it...¡± Na AhJung sighed.


    ¡°You can¡¯t even do it. Your so stubborn,¡± I said. ¡°You persuaded me not to when I said I would, and now look at you. Do you know how many hours it¡¯s been? Forget it, you stay out of it. I¡¯ll call my brother.¡±


    As if something horrible would happen if I called, Na AhJung jumped up and yelled, ¡°I, I¡¯ll do it! This wedding is between JiKyung and I, so it¡¯s right that I do it. That¡¯s the proper thing to do.¡±


    ¡°It just seems like you¡¯ll get this proper thing done after I¡¯m dead and the funeral¡¯s been held,¡± I said. ¡°When are you nning to go through with it?¡±


    Na AhJung pouted at my rebuttal. ¡°It¡¯s not like I¡¯ve been at this for days... It¡¯s only been an hour.¡±


    ¡°Just let me do it,¡± I said.


    ¡°No! You can¡¯t! I¡¯m going to do it!¡± Na AhJung was again showing her stubborn side.


    ¡°Are you going to do it right now?¡± I asked.


    ¡°That¡¯s...¡± Na AhJung hung her head unconfidently.


    ¡°You keep trying to convince yourself you can do it, but you can¡¯t say a word,¡± I said. ¡°How do you act so well with a personality as meek as yours?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s... When I¡¯m acting, I be somebody else,¡± she replied. ¡°So, if I think it¡¯s not me, I can do anything.¡±


    ¡°Then think that this is not me this time too and just do it.¡± I was getting impatient. ¡°Break off the wedding with my brother.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not that easy,¡± Na AhJung replied in exasperation. ¡°Wanting to break off the engagement is such a big truth that I can¡¯t just pretend it¡¯s not me. I¡¯m scared, nervous, and meek...You don¡¯t know how much I thought about thisst night. I couldn¡¯t even sleep. I really brought up all my courage for this.¡±


    ¡°You confessed without even sleeping?¡± I asked.


    Na AhJung nodded at my surprise question. Embarrassed, she continued as she twisted the corners of her pillow. ¡°I tried really hard.¡±


    My heart jumped, so I blew my whistle. At the sound, Na AhJung immediately straightened up.


    ¡°For someone who tried that hard to gain me, you are not using me.¡± I turned my chair toward Na AhJung. ¡°You have toe use me. What are you doing?¡±


    I opened my arms wide, but Na AhJung stood in ce staring at my chest like she couldn¡¯t believe it.


    I blew the whistle again. Na AhJung ran to me without thinking. As she collided into me, I hugged her tightly.


    ¡°You spent a lot of energy confessing to me, so I won¡¯t tell you to confess to my brother right now,¡± I said.


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°You need at least one night to think over the confession to my brother,¡± I replied. ¡°I¡¯ll wait for you just that amount. But, tomorrow you have to do it.¡±


    I slightly pushed away from Na AhJung to look into her eyes. I had hugged her while I was sitting, so our heights were about the same. With my back straight, our eyes were nearly level.


    As I made eye contact with her, Na AhJung nodded with her eyes brightening. ¡°I¡¯ll do it tomorrow, I promise.¡±


    ¡°You confess tomorrow,¡± I said. ¡°Now, we can check out the USB.¡±


    ¡°USB? Oh, that,¡± Na AhJung replied.


    ¡°We¡¯ll check the storyline of the plot and decide if you like it or not,¡± I said. ¡°That way, we can ask the writer to edit it or continue as is.¡±


    ¡°All right. I can do that right now. I¡¯ll do it.¡± Na AhJung nodded persuading me to trust her.


    When she had stopped nodding, I locked my lips onto hers without having to bend over. I just turned my neck slightly. Maybe because it was a different position fromst time, but my heart beat just as it did the first time.


    Is it really because of the position?


    Curious, I stood up with my lips still locked. Like I did the first time, I had my back bent while my lips caressed hers. Even though the position was the same, my heart beat hard as if it had never felt this way before.


    ***


    As Lee JiHan watched, I sat at the tea table with theptop in front of me. Taking out the golden USB from my pocket, I connected it to theptop. I opened the USB file and saw his present to me, the y synopsis.


    The synopsis¡¯s first page had the title written inrge letters. I read it the title out loud in excitement. ¡°I am against... this wedding?¡±


    What kind of title is that?


    I frowned at the strange title.


    ¡°Why? You don¡¯t like it?¡± he asked.


    ¡°It¡¯s a bit embarrassing to say out loud,¡± I replied. ¡°Can we ask the writer to change the title?¡±


    ¡°I made the title,¡± Lee JiHan said.


    I flinched at his answer but hurriedly smiled and tried to get around the dangerous situation. ¡°No wonder I felt embarrassed. Oh, every time I think about you, my face gets all red and I get embarrassed. I must have felt your presence in the title. Like an instinct, my soul just felt it...¡±


    ¡°Then, the feeling in your soul will ring throughout the plot,¡± Lee JiHan said ¡°I also created the plot.¡±


    ¡°Wow! Really?¡± With anticipation in my eyes, I stared at the monitor and scrolled down the document. I read the storyline out loud.


    ¡°33 year old, unknown theater actress, Na AhJung. Extremely young looking, simr to a teenage girl.¡±


    After reading the two sentences, I was so fascinated that I looked up at Lee JiHan. ¡°Is this really about me?¡±


    ¡°I told you yesterday, this y is catered to you exactly. First, finish reading the rest of it,¡± Lee JiHan calmly said as he pointed to theptop.


    I reverted my attention back to the monitor and continued to read.


    ¡°Due to the fact that her facade did not correspond to her actual age, the roles she is able to y as an actress became more and more limited... Wow, chills! I¡¯m in here!¡±


    I looked at Lee JiHan with wide eyes. He smiled contently at my reaction.


    ¡°What in the world. This is... It¡¯s not a y, but Na AhJung¡¯s biography?! So! What happens to me?!¡±


    I was curious about the ending, so I looked back at the monitor and read to the end.


    ¡°The gay grandson of a millionaire and that woman went into a contract...¡±


    I stopped reciting and froze in shock.


    The gay grandson of a millionaire and the woman went into a contract wedding... Why is this sentence here? Is this... Is this the story of me and JiKyung... But, Lee JiHan wrote this story. He told me that it was a y made to fit me exactly... Lee JiHan wrote it... Then, Lee JiHan... Lee JiHan?!


    ¡°Ah, you knew?¡± I stared at Lee JiHan in utter shock.


    ¡°What are you talking about?¡± he asked.


    ¡°That he¡¯s gay!¡± I shouted.


    At this answer, Lee JiHan shot up and yelled. ¡°You know that?!¡±


    ¡°Oh my God, you knew!¡±


    He said my soul would ring with the feeling! This is more like an earthquake, earthquake!


    ¡°When? When did you find out?¡± I asked.


    ¡°How about you? When did you know about it?¡± Lee JiHan replied with the same question.


    ¡°I asked you first!¡±


    Losing his patience, Lee JiHan grabbed my shoulder and shook me. ¡°Answer my question! When did you find out?¡±


    When was it? When did I find out?


    I scanned over my memory to find the answer to that question. But, it had been several years since I had known, so it was hard to pinpoint the exact time.


    ¡°It, it... It¡¯s been such a long time...¡±


    ¡°What did you say?¡± Lee JiHan stopped shaking me upon hearing my answer.


    ¡°It¡¯s, it¡¯s been such a long time that I can¡¯t remember the exact time,¡± I said. ¡°Anyway, it was a few months after JiKyung came to see my y, so about four years.¡±


    ¡°Four years...¡± Lee JiHan slumped in his seat with an astounded expression on his face.


    ¡°Why, what¡¯s wrong?¡± I hurriedly stood up and walked toward. Worried, I poked his shoulder. ¡°Uh, pull yourself together. Why are you like this all of a sudden?¡±


    Lee JiHan had no reaction, so I poked him a couple times more. He still remained frozen and unmoving. Suddenly, he woke up from his trance. His eyes widened, and he shot out of his seat.


    ¡°How could my brother do this to me!¡± Lee JiHan yelled at the empty space in front of him. ¡°His blood rtive didn¡¯t know! But Na AhJung knew!¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I was taken by surprise.


    ¡°He didn¡¯t say one word to me, but he tells his friend Na AhJung everything?¡± Lee JiHan clenched his jaw and grinded his teeth.


    ¡°Uh, are you upset that I knew this before you did?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Of course! I¡¯m his brother,¡± Lee JiHan said ¡°And, I¡¯m his only brother! I¡¯m his one and only brother, and you are one of his many friends! How could you know first?¡±


    That¡¯s right, this guy has a brotherplex.


    I was at a loss for words at my sudden realization.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to kill my brother!¡± Inmed, Lee JiHan reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He put it up close to his ear. Before long, he shouted into the phone, ¡°How could you do this to me! How could you do this!¡±


    ¡°Ah! Wait!¡± Before I could stop him, the words had already spilled out of his mouth.


    ¡°Why did Na AhJung know that you are gay, when I didn¡¯t? Why?¡±


    ¡°Ahh!¡±


    He must have been unable to hear my screams because Lee JiHan shot out all the secrets like a missile. ¡°Yea! I know everything! That you¡¯re gay! I already knew it! The reason you wanted to get married to Na AhJung was because you were gay!¡±


    It sounded like JiKyung said something on the other side of the phone, but Lee JiHan listened only momentarily.


    He started to yell again. ¡°How do I know? Your ex-boyfriend told me! Why? Did you think Na AhJung told me?¡±


    ¡°Ah! Lee JiHan! Calm down! Please!¡± I shook Lee JiHan¡¯s arms pleading him to stop.


    He turned his head to me with a sharp re. I let go of his arms in fright.


    As he red at me, he continued to talk to Lee JiKyung. ¡°This girl was trying to hide your secret. She only just confessed what she did wrong.¡±


    I looked at Lee JiHan desperately wringing my hands, pleading for him to stop.


    Lee JiHan looked at me with his teeth clenched. ¡°Your friendship is really something else!¡±


    I tried to make an excuse. ¡°Look, we¡¯re, we¡¯re not that close. Ah, of course you are more important to JiKyung than I am...¡±


    Lee JiHan put down his phone and shotsers at me. ¡°Don¡¯t act like you understand another man¡¯s feelings in front of me.¡±


    From brotherplex to Othello syndrome. The reason for Lee JiHan¡¯s anger flipped back and forth like flopping fish.


    ¡°Oh, no. How could I know JiKyung¡¯s feelings?¡± I asked. ¡°I don¡¯t know any of it. Really, none.¡±


    ¡°Then, like someone who doesn¡¯t know, stay out of it,¡± he shot back. ¡°I don¡¯t like you defending my brother. It makes me feel like he¡¯s more important to you.¡±


    JiHan turned his back to me and started to yell into his phone again. ¡°Forget it! I don¡¯t need a brother like you anymore! I don¡¯t need you!¡±


    Oh, what do I have to do to reduce his anger?


    I fretted around hopelessly not able to try anything. I was afraid that if I did, I might end up fanning the mes. I just stood behind him, pacing around nervously.


    What do I do? What do I do?


    Lee JiHan suddenly blurted out the biggest secret of all. ¡°I don¡¯t have to think about your position anymore! I! I¡¯m dating Na AhJung!¡±


    My legs crumbled beneath me. It felt like somewhere an atomic bomb had gone off.


    ¡°I¡¯m not saying it just because I¡¯m mad! I¡¯m really dating her! With Na AhJung!¡± Lee JiHan hung up and turned off his phone.


    I looked up at Lee JiHan from the floor. ¡°How could you just say that? I said, I¡¯d do it personally tomorrow. Breaking off the marriage was between me and JiKyung. I asked you to wait...¡±


    Lee JiHan coldly cut me off. ¡°When did I talk about breaking off the marriage?¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I never told my brother about breaking off the marriage,¡± he said. ¡°I only told him that we are dating. So, I kept my promise. You can tell him that you are breaking it off.¡±


    Wow, sh*t! How could he say such nonsense so logically?


    I retorted, ¡°That¡¯s the same thing! If I wasn¡¯t going to break it off, why would I date you? If you told him we were dating, it¡¯s the same as you telling him the marriage is off!¡±


    At my argument, Lee JiHan confidently replied, ¡°Do I have to tell him we aren¡¯t dating when we are?¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t tell you to lie, I just didn¡¯t want you to tell him that we were dating,¡± I said feeling exasperated. ¡°Ah, why did you have to bring it up when he didn¡¯t even ask you? Why?¡±


    ¡°Na AhJung, you never asked me for that favor,¡± Lee JiHan said in a t voice. ¡°Don¡¯t mention us dating. That¡¯s the first time I remember you asking me to do that. Why didn¡¯t you ask me before I said it?¡±


    I give up...


    There were no words tobat his. No, there were no words to say at all. His nonsensical statements were said in such a logical manner that I started to think that maybe I was the one in the wrong.


    Suddenly, the phone on my bed started to ring. Reflexively, I turned around at the sound. I knew it had to be JiKyung, but I couldn¡¯t bear to go pick it up.


    Lee JiHan pushed me aside. He went to the bed, grabbed the phone, and turned it off.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡± I asked.


    ¡°You can¡¯t contact my brother until tomorrow morning,¡± Lee JiHan said.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Your n was to confess your intent to break off the marriage tomorrow. So until then, I want my brother to sweat.¡± Lee JiHan put the phone in his pocket and looked at me coldly in warning. ¡°I will return this to you tomorrow. So, until then, you will not contact my brother. Understand?¡±


    ¡°I understand. I do,¡± I replied.


    ¡°Then, good night. I¡¯ll see you tomorrow morning,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯m going to p my brother, who trusted you more than me, around a bit in my dreams.¡±


    Lee JiHan left my room. I sat frozen in ce. He knew his brother was gay. That in itself was a shock. Now, JiKyung knew I was dating his brother. The secrets had exploded out like a bombshell, and Iy tattered from the warzone.


    Is this love or war? This warlike dating... Will there be peace tomorrow?

 Chapter 38

    <h4>Chapter 38</h4>


    The next day, I woke up to the sound of stomping.


    What? Is there another war happening somewhere?


    I walked out of my room in a haze. Following the sound, I headed to the kitchen. Lee JiHan was sitting at the kitchen table. With newspapersid out on the table, he was pounding dried pock.


    ¡°What are you doing? I asked.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to make dried pock soup,¡± Lee JiHan replied while hammering away.


    ¡°I mean... We didn¡¯t even drink,¡± I said. ¡°Why the soup all of a sudden...¡±


    ¡°I may not have drank, but I feel like I have to relieve the indigestion I feel,¡± he replied.


    It¡¯s probably a need to relieve anger not indigestion, I thought as I watched the shards of dried pock flying every which way.


    ¡°Na AhJung, you can go sleep some more,¡± Lee JiHan said. ¡°It¡¯s going to be a while before the soup is done.¡±


    It¡¯s not the soup that¡¯s going to take a while, it¡¯s the time your anger needs to subside, I assumed as I looked at the unnecessarilyrge pile of dried pock next to Lee JiHan.


    Thinking that I could not let this continue, I sat in front of Lee JiHan. ¡°I think there was a misunderstanding.¡±


    ¡°Misunderstanding?¡± Lee JiHan stopped his hammering and looked at me.


    ¡°The secret about JiKyung that I found out about four years ago was by chance,¡± I said. ¡°JiKyung didn¡¯t tell me. I just happened to have unluckily witnessed it.¡±


    Lee JiHan¡¯s expression didn¡¯t change one bit.


    ¡°If it wasn¡¯t for that incident, JiKyung wouldn¡¯t never have confessed to me that he was gay,¡± I said. ¡°So, what I¡¯m saying is that JiKyung didn¡¯t confess the fact to me because he trusts me more or is closer to me than you.¡±


    After my exnation, Lee JiHan let out a huge sigh. In a deadened tone, he said, ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter how you found out about my brother¡¯s secret.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Either way, you found out about it four years ago and kept that secret for him for four years,¡± he said.


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°So, saying that, my brother had four year¡¯s worth of opportunity to tell me about it,¡± Lee JiHan said.


    ¡°Opportunity? What opportunity?¡± I asked.


    ¡°The time to fix the fact that a stranger knew his secret when his brother didn¡¯t. He had four year¡¯s time to undo that, but my brother didn¡¯t. He didn¡¯t even want to change that fact.¡± Lee JiHan put a dried pock in front of him and smashed it as he said, ¡°Instead, he took that time to n a contract wedding.¡±


    He seemed to be looking at a person who wasn¡¯t me and mmed down the pock again. ¡°He was nning to fool me my entire life!¡±


    Even though his anger was not directed at me, I swallowed nervously.


    ***


    Only after we had finished eating breakfast did I get my phone back.


    Since he knew about it already, I thought it would be better to exin the situation as soon as possible. A contract was still a promise. I was sorry that I couldn¡¯t keep it. I had to apologize and beg for his forgiveness. I rushed to my room and turned the phone on.


    Ding! Ding! Ding!


    I headed to my bed as the overflow of missed messages came pouring in. As expected, all the messages were from JiKyung.


    [What¡¯s happened? Is what Lee JiHan said all true?]


    Looking at JiKyung¡¯s messages, I was able to feel his anxiety and fear. I needed to hurry up and call.


    Nodding my head in determination, I was about to call JiKyung when Lee JiHan opened my door and entered.


    ¡°If you¡¯re going to call my brother, then you will call with me present,¡± Lee JiHan said while striding toward me.


    ¡°Uh, that¡¯s a little...¡± I was about to try to dissuade him when I heard a woman¡¯s voice through the phone.


    [The person you have dialed can¡¯t take your call right now. At the tone please record your message....]


    ¡°Huh?¡± Thinking it strange, I looked at my screen.


    I definitely called JiKyung... Why is his phone off? Wasn¡¯t he anxiously waiting for my phone call?


    ¡°What is it?¡± Lee JiHan asked.


    ¡°JiKyung¡¯s phone is off,¡± I replied.


    Not believing me, Lee JiHan leaned toward the phone and put his ear to it. I pushed the phone right next to his ear so that he could make sure I was telling the truth.


    ¡°Hmm. It is off,¡± he said.


    ¡°Or what? Did you think I was lying to you?¡± I asked with a pout.


    Lee JiHan crossed his arms and replied back confidently, ¡°You two with your friendship deeper than love. How can I trust that you aren¡¯t nning another scheme?¡±


    The fact that we had nned a scheme was a little too true, so I flinched guiltily. But, a friendship deeper than love? I felt that it was unfair to be used of that, so I opened my mouth to retort, ¡°It¡¯s not deeper than love, OK?¡±


    ¡°If it¡¯s not deeper than love, then you should have just stayed friends,¡± Lee JiHan shot back with a serious face. ¡°Why did you decide to be husband and wife even though you knew that my brother was gay? Didn¡¯t you know that if you got married like that, you would never be loved by your husband for the rest of your life?¡±


    ¡°I knew that, but it didn¡¯t matter,¡± I answered with my head down.


    Avoiding Lee JiHan¡¯s gaze, I texted a message to JiKyung to call me back when he received it.


    ¡°Why didn¡¯t it matter?¡± Lee JiHan asked in a serious tone.


    I answered him lightly as if it wasn¡¯t anything important, ¡°I told you before. Seeing my divorced mother, I realized that a husband¡¯s love disappears as fast as it appears, so I thought it wasn¡¯t a big deal to not have it in the first ce. When love disappears, you end up living through loyalty. So, living with JiKyung from the beginning as a friend didn¡¯t seem like a bad deal. And, I wanted the money...¡±


    I had alreadypleted my message, but I pretended to be still writing it.


    After a short moment, Lee JiHan said, ¡°So, you chose a marriage that would guarantee money over love?¡±


    I nodded with my head sunken low at my past deed. Although it was embarrassing, I told him the truth. ¡°Back then, I thought that was the most important thing in marriage. Now, even if I can¡¯t get married, I want to have a chance at dating you. It would be the greatest luck of my life. That¡¯s why I broke off the wedding. There¡¯s nothing more important to me than you. I¡¯ve never felt anything deeper than this love before.¡±


    It was my truth, but the words just didn¡¯t seem to be enough. I lost my confidence. I raised my hands above my lowered head. With my thumb and index finger crossed, I created a small heart.


    Lee JiHan was quiet for a moment. In a low voice, he said, ¡°Your heart is small.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± It wasn¡¯t the answer I had been expecting, so I raised my head and looked at Lee JiHan.


    With an expression full of disappointment, he said, ¡°Last time, you made a heart for my brother pretending to love him. This one is smaller.¡±


    ¡°Oh, is that so?¡± I put my two hands together in front of my chest and made a bigger heart.


    Lee JiHan¡¯s expression still didn¡¯t lighten. He raised his arms over his head in the shape of a big heart. ¡°You made a huge heart over your head like this. Don¡¯t you remember?¡±


    I copied his action and made the biggest heart I could, extending my elbows as high as possible.


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t this big,¡± I said looking straight into Lee JiHan¡¯s eyes. I was trying to make him know that it was true with my eyes.


    Finally, Lee JiHan¡¯s expression broke into a smile. His frown melted away into augh.


    I had lifted my hands so high that my shoulders and sides were cramping, but I didn¡¯t think to put it down. I wanted to keep looking at that smiling face.


    ***


    Waiting for JiKyung¡¯s call, I had my phone gripped tightly in my hand wherever I went. Even after I got into Lee JiHan¡¯s car and arrived at the hotel, JiKyung still had not contacted me.


    At the hotel lobby, I called him one more time. His phone was still off.


    ¡°Maybe he¡¯s busy?¡± I hung up in confusion.


    Lee JiHan grabbed my empty hand after returning from the front. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± He dragged me to inside the hotel.


    I resisted and asked him nervously, ¡°You said we were going to go exercise, but isn¡¯t this a hotel?¡±


    ¡°The health club I go to is in this hotel,¡± Lee JiHan replied nonchntly.


    ¡°What? Out of all the health clubs you can attend, why would you work out at a hotel?¡± I asked. ¡°Hotels are for sleeping!¡±


    ¡°This health club is designated for members only, so the facility is good,¡± Lee JiHan said. ¡°That¡¯s why Ie here. You¡¯ll be attending it also.¡±


    ¡°Is... Is that so?¡± I shrugged not believing him.


    Really. How good could a health club at a hotel be?


    ¡°You¡¯ll see when we get there,¡± Lee JiHan said smoothly while pulling me.


    I followed him without a choice, but I couldn¡¯t shake off my suspicions and remained nervous. Why a hotel of all ces... Why a hotel?


    As we got on the elevator, Lee JiHan pressed the button. The door closed, and the elevator slowly rose to the floor chosen.


    When we arrive... It won¡¯t be a room, will it? My heart started to beat out of my chest as I imagined our bodies together. Lee JiHan¡¯s idea of exercise might not be what I¡¯m thinking. Ah, what do I do? What do I do about this?


    I was so nervous, my heart felt like it was going to explode. In one hand was my phone, and in the other was JiHan¡¯s hand. So, I couldn¡¯t even bite at my fingernails. Not being able to even chew my fingernails made me feel like I would go crazy.


    Oh. I didn¡¯t pay much attention to my underwear! I wore whatever!


    Unable to free my hands to chew my nails, my teeth chattered loudly at my nervousness. In that moment, the elevator arrived at its destination. The door opened.


    ¡°Ahh!¡± Scared, I screamed and clutched Lee JiHan¡¯s hand.


    He looked at me as if I¡¯d lost it. ¡°What are you so afraid of? What, do you have some exercise trauma?¡±


    I blocked my mouth with the hand holding my phone and screamed inside my head, I would have had to have done it before to have trauma!


    In a soft voice, Lee JiHan said, ¡°I¡¯m not going to go hard. I¡¯ll take it nice and slow so, don¡¯t worry.¡±


    Is it just me thinking that sentence is erotic?! Just me?


    I stared into Lee JiHan¡¯s eyes with my cheeks blushing furiously. He turned his head away from me and exited the elevator. I resisted the urge to scream again and followed him with my eyes closed shut.


    Lee JiHan stopped when he arrived to the destination. ¡°It¡¯s here.¡±


    Oh, what do I do! My undergarments don¡¯t match!


    I peeked through my eyes to look in front of me. My eyes grew wide at the unexpected scenery in front of me.


    ¡°Oh, what the...¡± My beating heart stopped as if it had been doused in ice water. ¡°It¡¯s really is a health club,¡± I mumbled in a low voice.

 Chapter 39

    <h4>Chapter 39</h4>


    Like a deted balloon, my feelings and my body felt so void of energy that I moved incredibly slowly in the dressing room. As I was changing into my workout clothes, I felt annoyed. It was as if I was being made fun of.


    Why? Whye all the way to a hotel to work out? What¡¯s the point ofing to a hotel then? I left the dressing room pouting angrily.


    As Lee JiHan had said, the facility was indeed good. The health club I had attended before was the elementary school track and field, so I couldn¡¯t tell how good this ce waspared to others. I was sure it ranked amongst the best.


    The spacious facility had shiny new equipment and a swimming pool beyond the ss walls. Everything looked phenomenal, but something even more phenomenal was walking out of the men¡¯s changing room that very moment. Lee JiHan.


    A normal work out outfit fit over a not so normal body. I first noticed his golden hair, but my attention soon locked onto his face. So good looking... Able to appreciate his fine facial features even from afar, I smiled. Lee JiHan, seeing me, walked over.


    Even someone with double eyelids don¡¯t have eyes that big. How are those eyes so big. Ah... That smoothly sloped nose! I want to keep touching it... His lips! how are they like that? That smile he so effortlessly makes with those lips... When touching it, it¡¯s soft and sweet...


    Imagining how it felt to have those lips on mine, my face burst into heat. With both hands covering my cheeks, I looked up at Lee JiHan. Whether my face burned or not, I couldn¡¯t stop looking at that face.


    ¡°I knew this outfit would look on you, but I didn¡¯t know it would look this good,¡± Lee JiHanplimented me.


    Oh? This guy is talking to me. Oh! I¡¯m dating this guy? Wow... I¡¯m so lucky!


    My anger disappeared without a trace. It felt as if the Lee JiHan in the workout outfit was a different person. His presence made all my worries disappear.


    People say they hear ¡°Hallelujah¡± in this sort of situation, but strangely I heard the Buddhist Moktar instead. It was as if I was standing in front of a golden Buddha at a temple.


    As I stood entranced, Lee JiHan looked me up and down in disbelief and asked, ¡°Did you put on makeup in the dressing room so you would look prettier?¡±


    ¡°What? Oh, no? You said when you¡¯re working out, you should not have on makeup,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m all natural.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Lee JiHan swiped at my forehead with his thumb then nodded after examining it. ¡°Good. No makeup and dressed appropriately. Let¡¯s start with cardio.¡±


    ¡°Oh... I just want to continue staring,¡± I mumbled, which made Lee JiHan smile.


    He put his lips where his thumb had been. The soft touch brushed against my forehead and sent shivers down into my heart like electricity.


    A few momentster, Lee JiHan removed his lips and stepped slightly back and said, ¡°If you keep staring, that¡¯s all you¡¯re going to end up doing.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I was in a daze.


    ¡°Are you not going to do any of this with me and just stand there staring?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Oh, no? I¡¯m not? I want to do this again?¡±


    ¡°Stop staring and let¡¯s move.¡± Lee JiHan pped his hands together as if filling me up with energy.


    With his arms wrapped around mine, we headed to the treadmill. ¡°First, we¡¯ll run for 10 minutes and then go into weights,¡± he told me as he ced me on the treadmill and adjusted the speed settings. ¡°Starting from this point on, you will do cardio, strength training, and cool down for exactly one hour with my lead.¡±


    ¡°A whole hour?¡± I asked.


    ¡°If you follow my lead well, once every 10 minutes I¡¯ll give you a present,¡± he said.


    After Lee JiHan made this promise, he pressed the start button. The treadmill started to move beneath my feet. Matching the timing to its movement, I moved my two legs.


    ¡°Why are you suddenly making me exercise?¡± I asked. The moment I asked the question, a thought popped into my head that made me flinch. ¡°Did I get fat? That¡¯s it, isn¡¯t it? I got fat? So, you¡¯re trying to make me lose weight?¡±


    I waited fearfully for his answer.


    ¡°You of all people can get fatter,¡± Lee JiHan said matter of factly. ¡°The purpose of this exercise is to increase your stamina. Stamina increase.¡±


    ¡°Sta, stamina, in, crease?¡± I asked through short breaths due to the increasing speed.


    ¡°You should be keeping fit even when you¡¯re doing nothing,¡± Lee JiHan replied. ¡°If you are going to get ready to be in a y, then you need to be diligent. You have to increase your stamina now so that when you do have to perform, you will be able to handle it. That¡¯s why I¡¯m making you do this.¡±


    After answering, he turned my head back to the front. Removing his hand, Lee JiHanmanded, ¡°Look forward so you don¡¯t fall down. A kiss in 9 minutes and 40 seconds.¡±


    9 minutes and 40 seconds!


    I gathered all my determination and clenched my fists. Without anotherint, I clenched my mouth and bravely ran.


    ***


    After exercising and showering, I exited the health club. My entire body was sore.


    Lee JiHan saw me stumbling around and wagged his tongue at me. ¡°How were you so good at dancing when you¡¯re this bad at coordination?¡±


    ¡°Dance? What dance?¡± I asked.


    Lee JiHan helped me to the elevator as he replied, ¡°You danced in your y.¡±


    ¡°Ah, that...¡± Using his help as an excuse, I wrapped my arms more tightly around his and moved my shaking legs. ¡°The dance was needed for the y, so I practiced it over and over. I have bad body coordination. I¡¯m bad at dancing.¡±


    ¡°Hmm. Did you attend a dance school?¡± he asked.


    ¡°No. I just yed the dance video repetitively and practiced it on my own,¡± I replied. ¡°I wanted the part so badly that I probably practiced 10 hours a day.¡±


    We got on the elevator as it arrived. After pressing the button for the correct floor, Lee JiHan became lost in thought and stood quietly.


    Only after the door opened on the first floor did he speak. ¡°If you learned it properly, it wouldn¡¯t have taken so long.¡±


    ¡°What wouldn¡¯t? Oh, the dance?¡±


    Lee JiHan nodded and he pulled me out of the elevator. ¡°Starting from today, let¡¯s learn dance also. That will definitely help your acting career.¡±


    ¡°What? Starting today? Do what? Dance?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Well, first we¡¯ll find a dance studio, get a consultation, and enroll since you probably don¡¯t have any energy left from working out with me,¡± he said.


    Lee JiHan quickly outlined the n and looked toward the hotel door. He was matching the pace of my footsteps, so it was slow going. He looked as if he had already ran outside it.


    Ah, are we really leaving the hotel like this? You must be tired, so let¡¯s rest here a while. Nothing like that? Should we eat some ramen at the guest room? Nothing like that?


    I kept looking back disappointedly at the disappearing hotel behind me.


    ***


    Only after I was seated in the car returning home did I remember JiKyung and pull out my phone. Not only did the sudden enrollment in a dance academy get me off guard, but I additionally had to enroll for English sses, piano sses, and vocal lessons. Like a fervent parent, Lee JiHan found any ss that would help my acting career and took me around to enroll in all of them, which led me topletely forget about JiKyung.


    Due to that, I was only able to check my phone at ate hour. However, JiKyung had still not called or contacted me. ¡°Why hasn¡¯t JiKyung contacted me yet?¡±


    Thinking it strange, I called JiKyung. I checked Lee JiHan¡¯s reaction at this, but he only looked forward, driving as if this didn¡¯t concern him at all.


    I wondered if his phone was still off. Finally, I heard the connecting ringtone in my ear.


    ¡°Ah! His phone is on!¡± I yelled in surprise. I chewed my fingernails waiting for him to answer.


    However long I waited, I could not hear JiKyung¡¯s voice. Instead I heard Lee JiHan¡¯s. ¡°What are you going to do about that nervous habit of biting your nails?¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Not only do your fingernails get messed up, but it¡¯s bad for your jaw,¡± he said. ¡°You should find a new habit to rece that.¡±


    He isn¡¯t going to find another ss to help me fix this, is he...


    I lowered my hands away from my mouth.


    ¡°When you¡¯re nervous, look for me,¡± Lee JiHan said. ¡°If I¡¯m not next to you, call me. If I am next to you, find me with your body.¡±


    ¡°How exactly do I find you with my body?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Either hold my hand or bite my lips instead of your fingernails,¡± Lee JiHan coolly said.


    Lips instead of fingernails...


    I bit my lower lip as Lee JiHan had instructed. The phone ringtone disconnected. The message that no one was avable started to y. Thus, I continued to now chew my lips over and over again.


    Why is Lee JiKyung not answering his phone? If his phone is on, then he must have seen my missed calls and messages. He¡¯s not calling or texting me, and he¡¯s not answering...


    ¡°Not you. Here.¡± Lee JiHan interrupted my panic.


    I turned my head to look at Lee JiHan, but he was still resolutely looking forward and driving.


    He nced over at me and pointed towards his lips. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean for you to bite your own lips. I wanted you to bite these lips.¡±


    ¡°Oh...Ohh!¡± When understanding hit, I became so embarrassed that I shook my head vigorously with my cheeks turning red. ¡°Oh, how could I do that. That¡¯s so embarrassing.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not embarrassing,¡± Lee JiHan sternly said. ¡°When I kissed you, I, from time to time, bit yours, so I am sure. It¡¯s not embarrassing but good. Although you were the one being bitten then, so you might not know it.¡±


    How can he say such things without a single change in expression? Without blushing? I fanned at my further reddening face. But, I am curious as to how it feels for lips to bite lips... It will be different from being bitten... Should I...


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you try it?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Now, now?¡± I had been thinking it only a few seconds before, so I jumped thinking that I had been caught in action.


    ¡°I¡¯m driving, so not now. We¡¯ll do it when we arrive.¡± Lee JiHan pressed on the elerator and increased his speed to the highest speed thew allowed.


    His speed remained the same until we reached the apartment. The moment we arrived at the parking lot, Lee JiHan swiftly got out of the car. I usually waited for him to open the passenger door for me, but I was in a hurry. So, I opened the door and got out. I ran toward the fast approaching Lee JiHan.


    As if I was being reunited with a lost family member, Lee JiHan and I embraced each other as our paths crossed in front of the car. He lifted me up and ced me on top of car hood. Now at eye level, he leaned in to kiss me.


    Before our lips met, Lee JiHan stopped. With our lips inches away from each other he whispered, ¡°If it hurts me when you bite, I won¡¯t let you get off quietly.¡±


    With a trembling heart, I lowered my eyes and bit Lee JiHan¡¯s lips slightly.


    Oh.. That¡¯s why this is good.


    I closed my eyes at the realization. I leaned in for a deeper kiss, slowly swallowing his lips. I felt Lee JiHan¡¯s hands around my waist pulling me in closer.


    I must not be the only one enjoying this. At this assumption, I went to bite his upper lip, but I heard a car drive past us. Realizing that this was probably not the best ce to be doing this, I backed away. However, Lee JiHan grabbed my face with his hands. At the same time, his lips bit mine.


    The hands holding my face felt hot, but it might have just been my face that was actually hot. No, it could be both of us. Losing myself in the moment, I grabbed Lee JiHan¡¯s waist.


    Out of nowhere, a loud sound that could have rendered us deaf rang from the distance. Jumping in surprise, I took my lips off of Lee JiHan¡¯s and turned toward the noise. From a small distance away, I could see a car driving toward us in reverse.


    I¡¯m sure it was the car that had passed us earlier. As I was thinking that, the car stopped in front of us. When the car door opened, I felt like I had been struck by lightning. The person who exited the car was none other than Lee JiKyung, who was ring quite viciously at the both of us.

 Chapter 40

    <h4>Chapter 40</h4>


    ¡°Lee, Lee JiKyung?¡± I grabbed Lee JiHan¡¯s arm unable to believe the sight in front of me. I shook it in haste as I asked him. ¡°That, that¡¯s JiKyung, do you see him too?¡±


    ¡°He must have hopped on his personal jet once he hung up with us yesterday,¡± Lee JiHan said with little reaction.


    Lee JiKyung walked toward us. His gaze was locked on me. ¡°Na AhJung, you better exin what¡¯s going on here,¡± he asked in disbelief.


    Before I could answer, Lee JiHan¡¯s back blocked my view. ¡°As you can see, we were having an intimate moment. Didn¡¯t I tell you? Na AhJung and I are dating.¡±


    ¡°JiHan, we can talkter,¡± Lee JiKyung replied. ¡°I have to talk to AhJung alone. You can go up to the house.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m angry at you,¡± Lee JiHan said. ¡°Don¡¯t make me angrier by bothering my AhJung. Go back to your business trip.¡±


    ¡°What? My AhJung? Are you serious right now? And what is up with your hair?¡± Lee JiKyung asked.


    ¡°You shouldn¡¯t go criticizing other people¡¯s preferences. Did I go criticizing you about your preferences?¡± Lee JiHan pointed out shrewdly.


    He turned back to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and moved me back down from the car. I was on pins and needles as I watched them.


    Lee JiHan patted my head and reassured me in a calm voice. ¡°Let¡¯s go up and rest. Do you think you can walk? You must be tired from doing so much today and being frightened on top of that.¡±


    ¡°I, I can walk,¡± I said. ¡°Of course. I¡¯m OK but...¡±


    Lee JiHan¡¯s sweetness in front of me melted my heart, but when I thought about Lee JiKyung behind me, I got chills.


    Oh... This temperature difference from the front and back. What do I do...


    ¡°But, I should talk with JiKyung,¡± I said. ¡°I was going to talk to him over the phone, but given the circumstances, it might be better to do this face to face...¡±


    Lee JiHan¡¯s face hardened at my words. ¡°What more do you have to discuss? If he has any decency, he should be waving his white g in surrender by now.¡±


    ¡°Decency? A white g?¡± Lee JiKyung pushed his way between us scornfully.


    Lee JiHan¡¯s expression turned to ice and retorted. ¡°If you¡¯re even remotely sorry for lying to me, then shouldn¡¯t you be congratting me and getting out of my way?¡±


    ¡°Congratte? What exactly am I supposed to congratte you on?¡± Lee JiKyung asked with a frown.


    Lee JiHan replied back confidently, ¡°That your only brother has got himself a girlfriend.¡±


    ¡°What? Are you insane?¡± Lee JiKyung asked. ¡°I may have lied to you, but with the girl I was going to marry... Your what? Girlfriend? You can¡¯t do this!¡±


    ¡°Why not?¡± Lee JiHan asked. ¡°The marriage wasn¡¯t real anyway.¡±


    ¡°It may not be real but there are people who believe it is real!¡± JiKyung¡¯s answer made me flinch.


    Not a real wedding, but there are people who believe it is real. Thinking of those people suddenly made me scared.


    Lee JiHan continued to argue with JiKyung coldly. ¡°So, why did you even n such a wedding?¡±


    ¡°That...¡± JiKyung stared at Lee JiHan with desperate eyes. He was unable to continue.


    ¡°I know, you must have wanted to hide what type of person you are with this marriage,¡± Lee JiHan smugly said. ¡°You¡¯re an important person to a lot of people. The secret you want to hide will not be easily epted by those people.¡±


    Lee JiKyung stood rooted to his spot.


    ¡°Still, you should have at least told me,¡± Lee JiHan simply said. ¡°What you are trying to hide is your identity not a fault. I¡¯m able to ept that. At least to me, you should have been truthful about yourself.¡±


    ¡°You can ept this?¡± JiKyung looked at Lee JiHan with shaking eyes at this unexpected realization.


    Lee JiHan¡¯s eyes shed red in anger. ¡°Yes. But you never gave me that chance, did you? You knew how much I looked up to you and liked you and all you thought about was fooling me!¡±


    Lee JiHan¡¯s loud echoing voice caught me off guard. I looked around my surroundings. There were probably a lot of eyes there, and they were talking so loudly in public.


    I interrupted the two to break up the tension. ¡°Uh, we, we should go up to the house to do this...¡±


    ¡°How low did you think of me?¡± Lee JiHan yelled without even letting me finish. ¡°What kind of scum did you think I was that you would n a fake wedding like this to fool me for the rest of my life? Did you even love me as your brother?¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Lee JiKyung asked.


    ¡°I asked if you loved me,¡± Lee JiHan said.


    ¡°What are you talking about?¡± Lee JiKyung asked.


    I wanted to ask that question too. Do you love me... Isn¡¯t that what you ask your significant other when you break up? Why is he asking this to his brother right now?


    I stared nkly at Lee JiHan lost for words.


    ¡°If you liked me even a sliver of how much I like you, you would have never thought to lie to me,¡± Lee JiHan said. ¡°You would feel guilty for doing it!¡±


    ¡°Hey!¡± This time, JiKyung¡¯s voice rang so loudly I jumped. ¡°I couldn¡¯t tell you because I loved you!¡±


    ¡°What?!¡± I uttered at the ridiculousness of what he said.


    JiKyung continued talking, only looking at Lee JiHan. ¡°You¡¯re my brother, and you are the most important person to me in this family. I couldn¡¯t just tell you. I was afraid you wouldn¡¯t be able to treat me the same as before if I did. That you would be disgusted by me. That I would lose my one and only brother. That¡¯s why I did it. Not because I didn¡¯t love you, but because I love you too much.¡±


    ¡°Is that true?¡± Lee JiHan red at JiKyung not believing him.


    JiKyung slowly nodded.


    OK, I hope the two of you have a lovely life together... I¡¯ll just stay out of your way...


    Lee JiHan crossed his arms and became lost in thought. He lifted his head and said, ¡°OK. Then you lying to me, I¡¯ll forgive you a hundred times and be understanding. In return, you can¡¯t disprove of me dating Na AhJung.¡±


    Oh, that¡¯s right. I¡¯m dating this man. I¡¯m his girlfriend.


    I nodded realizing my part in all this. This time, I turned to Lee JiKyung and nodded with pleading eyes to just do as Lee JiHan requested so we could continue dating.


    Unlike me, JiKyung turned to Lee JiHan instead. ¡°That¡¯s a different situation.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    Lee JiHan and I both asked simultaneously. bbergasted by our mutual surprise, JiKyung took turns looking at Lee JiHan and me.


    With a shaking voice, JiKyung yelled, ¡°The both of you wereining about each other to me just a few days ago!¡±


    ¡°Hate is just one small step from love, didn¡¯t you know?¡± Lee JiHan stated in a matter-of- fact-tone to his brother with an expression that said, ¡°How could you not know that?¡±


    Wow...You can¡¯t fight this guy. He makes it really hard to argue with him.


    Remembering the past times when Lee JiHan had been my enemy, I became grateful for the present. I was d he was on my side.


    Not want to lose to Lee JiHan, Lee JiKyung quickly came back with a retort. ¡°Yea, I didn¡¯t know. I also didn¡¯t know that my friend Na AhJung was the kind of person to just disregard a promise like that.¡±


    JiKyung red at me upon saying this. Feeling guilty, I lowered my head, but Lee JiHan moved in front of me to block me from JiKyung.


    Lee JiHan argued back, ¡°Don¡¯t threaten her with your friendship. My love is much stronger.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Lee JiKyung asked.


    ¡°You as a friend, me as a boyfriend,¡± Lee JiHan said. ¡°Don¡¯t you even dare threaten her to choose between the two. Either way, she will definitely pick me, so you will just look like a pathetic loser.¡±


    ¡°Pathetic? Loser?¡±


    Lee JiHan turned around and held my hand. He turned back to JiKyung. ¡°If you¡¯re going to disprove of this rtionship, go right ahead.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Lee JiKyung asked.


    ¡°We all only live once, so we have to live the way we want,¡± Lee JiHan said. ¡°We¡¯ll continue dating, and you will disapprove. We¡¯ll just live like that.¡±


    After abruptly ending the conversation, Lee JiHan moved toward the elevator. I was feeling apologetic, so I kept turning back to nce at JiKyung.


    Lee JiKyung was frozen for a moment but came back to his senses and started to follow us. ¡°You, Lee JiHan!¡±

 Chapter 41

    <h4>Chapter 41</h4>


    JiKyung and I sat across from each other at the tea table in my room. Lee JiHan sat at the edge of my bed with his arms crossed watching us.


    ¡°OK. You tell me in your own words. What is this situation.¡± JiKyung red at me with angry eyes.


    I tried to ignore Lee JiHan and concentrate solely on JiKyung. I folded my hands over my knees with a heavy heart.


    ¡°I ended up in this situation with your brother... So, I¡¯m not able to keep my end of the deal. I¡¯m sorry.¡± I apologized with my head down in shame.


    Whatever the reason, it was true that I had broken the contract. Because of it, JiKyung did suffer damages.


    ¡°Do you think simply saying sorry will resolve this?¡± JiKyung asked in an irritated voice.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I know this won¡¯t resolve anything, but I¡¯m still sorry,¡± I said.


    ¡°We¡¯ve met with the parents and sent out the wedding invitations,¡± JiKyung said. ¡°Plus, the wedding itself is four weeks away. You want to break this off?¡±


    ¡°So, I thought about it, and you can say that there is something seriously wrong with the bride, me,¡± I said feeling hopeful. ¡°Then, you won¡¯t suffer any more damage. Don¡¯t you think?¡±


    JiKyung scoffed and sighed. ¡°With the wedding right in front of us, and my bride has fallen for my brother. Yes, that is a serious problem. If this bes known, I will be aughing stock, and my brother will be a filthy cheat. This will ruin our family!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll make sure that people don¡¯t find out about this,¡± I said. ¡°Tell them a different reason for us breaking it off. Like you found out that there is something wrong with the girl¡¯s past or that she¡¯s an unwed mother... Whatever, it doesn¡¯t matter. Tell them whatever is best for you. If you make an excuse like that, then it wouldn¡¯t cause harm to your reputation.¡±


    ¡°If I make up an excuse like that, don¡¯t you know that it will cause you harm?¡± JiKyung asked.


    ¡°I know,¡± I replied.


    ¡°Knowing that, you still want to go through with it?¡± JiKyung asked repetitively.


    ¡°Yes. I have to break off the engagement. So, I¡¯m begging you,¡± I said.


    I got up from the tea table and moved one step closer, so that if I kneeled, the table wouldn¡¯t block his view of me. Slowly, I folded my knees. Before my knees even hit the floor, Lee JiHan grabbed my shoulder and lifted me up. Thanks to him, my knees were forced to straighten.


    Lee JiHan faced me angrily and scolded me. ¡°What are you doing? I don¡¯t even want to see you kneel before me, but you do it in front of someone else?¡±


    ¡°Oh, no, I, I feel like I have to do this so that JiKyung...¡±


    ¡°If you kneel in front of me or anyone else one more time, I will put you in a cast,¡± Lee JiHan strictly said.


    ¡°Oh, I understand, so stop interrupting. Promise me you won¡¯t interrupt anymore.¡±


    I pleaded with Lee JiHan, ncing nervously at JiKyung. Lee JiHan frowned displeased and pointed to his eyes.


    ¡°I¡¯m watching you.¡± Lee JiHan pointed at my eyes. ¡°You will not kneel.¡±


    He went back to the bed after warning me. JiKyung took turns looking at Lee JiHan then me with exasperation.


    Banned from kneeling, I at least stayed standing as a punishment and continued our conversation. ¡°Anyways, JiKyung. The fact that this happened between me and your brother means I can¡¯t get married to you...¡±


    ¡°Break up with JiHan. Like we agreed on the contract, marry me,¡± JiKyung said.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°The contract you made with me was first, so keep your promise,¡± JiKyung said.


    ¡°JiKyung, that¡¯s... I like your brother now, so how could I possible marry you?¡± I asked.


    ¡°What about me? What am I supposed to do?¡± JiKyung asked seriously. ¡°Is there another girl that will marry me knowing and understanding my situation?¡±


    ¡°Hey, that¡¯s...¡±


    ¡°If I don¡¯t marry you, I won¡¯t be able to marry anyone for the rest of my life,¡± JiKyung said. ¡°Won¡¯t people think there is something wrong with me?¡±


    ¡°Are you crazy?¡± Lee JiHan shot up from the bed again.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s not a stranger¡¯s girl but your brother¡¯s! Because of other people¡¯s eyes, you really want to marry this girl? What kind of nonsense are you talking about!¡± Lee JiHan stomped over to me and grabbed my left arm. ¡°Why are you listening to this nonsense? Forget it.¡±


    Lee JiHan dragged me toward the door.


    ¡°But, I¡¯m not done talking...¡± I staggered along with him for a couple steps, but I put down my foot to resist.


    JiKyung suddenly came over and grabbed my right arm. ¡°Whether it¡¯s nonsense or not, a contract is a contract!¡±


    As he pulled on my other arm, I was stretched out like a tug of warpetition between the two brothers.


    ¡°Even if it is a contract, if you terminate it, that¡¯s it!¡± Lee JiHan yelled and pulled me as I slid to the left.


    ¡°What? Terminate?¡± This time, JiKyung pulled and I stumbled to the right.


    Lee JiHan pulled me back to the left. ¡°Even contracts between businesses get terminated, so why can¡¯t you terminate a contract between friends?¡±


    ¡°Yes. I won¡¯t terminate it!¡± JiKyung shouted.


    From both sides, my arms hurt and my ears were starting to ring. My head was starting to spin. As I faltered due to my scattered mind, JiKyung suddenly let go of my arm. Because of that, I fell and collided into Lee JiHan. He hurriedly caught me by the shoulders.


    I was being helped back up when I heard JiKyung¡¯s angry voice. ¡°Na AhJung! Contract termination! Do whatever you want!¡±


    ¡°Rea, really?¡± The sudden approval caught me off guard. I looked at JiKyung with wide eyes.


    With vicious eyes, he pointed at me and said, ¡°But, the penalty owed is 10 times what you received. $500,000!¡±


    ¡°$5... $500,000?¡± I felt like someone hit me over the head.


    ¡°I told you when we made the contract that if you terminate it, the penalty will be multiplied by 10,¡± JiKyung said. ¡°If you have that money, then terminate it! Go ahead! I¡¯ll cleanly break it off for you. If you can¡¯t pay the $500,000 penalty, then don¡¯t even dream about breaking off the wedding! And, don¡¯t think about dating my brother!¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s...¡± I tried to remember through my shock the moment when JiKyung had said those words.


    ¡°You better not cheat on me with another guy before Ie back. You can¡¯t change your mind, alright? If you terminate the contract, the penalty is 10 times what you received, got it?¡±


    ¡°Wasn¡¯t... Wasn¡¯t that a joke?¡± I asked in shock.


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t a joke to me. A verbal contract is still binding,¡± JiKyung said.


    I received $50,000, but the penalty...10 times... I really have to pay $500,000...


    As if time had stopped, my ears became muffled. I couldn¡¯t hear anything. In front of me, Lee JiHan seemed to have run over to JiKyung to argue with him, but I couldn¡¯t see anything either. I just stood there with my mind nk except for the one thought.


    $500,000... I didn¡¯t even receive the $50,000 I was supposed to get on my wedding day. Penalty $500,000... How do I pay that? That¡¯s... That won¡¯t even be possible if I sold an organ... But, that¡¯s the only way I can break the engagement and date Lee JiHan... If I don¡¯t have $500,000, do I have to give up Lee JiHan? I have to live with Lee JiHan like I did before?


    My emotions spilled up to the surface. Not wanting to end the rtionship, I looked JiKyung straight in the eyes. As if I was in a trance, I said, ¡°Lee JiKyung, I can¡¯t pay that money.¡±


    Both brothers stopped talking and turned to me.


    ¡°However much I think about it, I¡¯m unable to make that kind of money,¡± I said. ¡°Even if I sold all my organs, I won¡¯t be able to get $500,000. Me paying the $500,000 penalty is an impossibility.¡±


    I lowered my gaze and thought through it once more. That amount was still impossible. I raised my head and looked at JiKyung.


    ¡°But you know that too,¡± I said. ¡°You know I can¡¯t pay you that much, you of all people know that the best. But, you asking me for that to break off the marriage... That just means you want me to give up on Lee JiHan.¡±


    ¡°Yes. Just give it up. Give it up.¡± JiKyung didn¡¯t even hesitate as he demanded I give up, as if it was something easy for me to do.


    ¡°No. I can¡¯t do that. ¡°I shook my head and said what had been inside the whole time. ¡°JiKyung, I¡¯m... I¡¯m the happiest when I am acting on stage. When I¡¯m acting, I don¡¯t have to be me. ying a part means I can live someone else¡¯s life. I¡¯m the happiest when I¡¯m pretending to be someone else.¡±


    ¡°What are you talking about all of a sudden?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Watching my father love my stepmother¡¯s children more than me, hating me because I remind him of my mother... I couldn¡¯t even be loved by my own father,¡± I said. ¡°I thought I could never be loved by anyone. That was just a fact for me, and I hated myself for it.¡±


    My vision became blurry, so I couldn¡¯t see JiKyung¡¯s expression. I continued on with my emotions dictating my speech. ¡°So, I started acting because I didn¡¯t want to live as myself. Because living as me was unbearable.¡±


    I blinked unable to swallow as my feelings overtook me. And as my vision cleared, I could see JiKyung¡¯s expression.


    ¡°But I. For the first time, I want to live as me,¡± I told him firmly watching JiKyung¡¯s frozen eyes. ¡°Living as myself could be this great... I actually can think that now when I¡¯m with Lee JiHan. That¡¯s why I can¡¯t give it up. I want to live like this at least once. I want to love and be loved and continue living as me.¡±


    I shook my head as my vision started to blur again. ¡°So, I¡¯m not going to give it up. I won¡¯t.¡±


    Before the tears were able to drop, I quickly wiped them away. Through my cleared-up vision, I could see JiKyung frowning at me. I articted my next words carefully. ¡°In return, I will find a way to make this up to you. The promise I couldn¡¯t keep, I¡¯ll make up for it for the rest of my life.¡±


    JiKyung lowered his head as a shadow crossed his face.


    ¡°If you want me to pay you back with money, then I¡¯ll pay you back every day with whatever I earn,¡± I said. ¡®It might not be as much as you want, but I can give you everything I have.¡±


    I looked at JiKyung after rying my promise to him. He remained silent. As I waited desperately for his answer, he suddenly left the room.


    ¡°Ji, JiKyung!¡± I moved my feet to try to follow him, but Lee JiHan block me.


    ¡°You can stop now. You¡¯ve done enough,¡± Lee JiHan told me as he put his hand on my shoulder.


    ¡°Nothing¡¯s been resolved,¡± I said. ¡°JiKyung still...¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve said everything you want to,¡± Lee JiHan said.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Is there more you want to say to my brother?¡± he asked.


    I thought about what Lee JiHan said and shook my head. I had said everything in my heart I had wanted to tell JiKyung.


    ¡°Then, there¡¯s no point in saying anymore. You have done your best to make a promise you can keep, and now we just have to give my brother time to think about it,¡± Lee JiHan calmly said.


    ¡°Will JiKyung think about it?¡± I nervously asked.


    Lee JiHan pulled me into an embrace. ¡°From now on, I¡¯ll do my best so don¡¯t worry.¡± He patted me on the back. ¡°I should have done it sooner. I reacted too emotionally without thinking about your side of things. Only what I wanted. I understand how you are feeling now, so trust me and leave it all to me. I¡¯ll make sure you continue to live like this.¡±


    He whispered the promise into my ear and sealed the deal with a kiss. Still in Lee JiHan¡¯s embrace, I let out the tears I had been holding back.

 Chapter 42

    <h4>Chapter 42</h4>


    I must have fallen asleep waiting for Lee JiHan. Sitting on the living room sofa with my eyes open, I looked around. The sky outside the window was still dark just like when he had left.


    d that I hadn¡¯t been asleep long, I pulled out my cellphone. Unlike my assumption, it was already past 3 a.m.


    Why hasn¡¯t he called yet?


    I sat up straight in surprise. My body was so sore from working out in the morning that I moaned. Even though I wanted nothing more than toy back down, I forced myself up and headed to Lee JiHan¡¯s room to check if might havee back. At the same time, I called him.


    I took a deep breath and entered his room. As expected, he wasn¡¯t there.


    He wouldn¡¯t still be with JiKyung, would he? Did something go wrong? As anxiety started to hit me, I heard Lee JiHan¡¯s voice through the phone.


    ¡°Why aren¡¯t you sleeping yet?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Uh, where are you? Why aren¡¯t youing home? Did something go wrong?¡± I asked.


    ¡°I¡¯m still talking with my brother,¡± Lee JiHan replied in an incredibly tender voice. It was as if he was apletely different person from the one who had fought with his brother earlier.


    ¡°Still?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re having a good talk, so there¡¯s nothing to worry about,¡± he said. ¡°Na AhJung, you can go back to sleepfortably.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re sure you¡¯re having a good talk? Not overreacting... You¡¯re trying to gain approval from JiKyung, right? You¡¯re not having a fist fight, right?¡±


    I heard himugh through the phone. Immediately after, he said, ¡°You¡¯ll see in a couple hours.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry and go to sleep. I¡¯lle pick you up when the timees. I¡¯ll take you to where my brother is so you two can talk things through.¡± Lee JiHan spoke in a calm and a trustworthy tone. ¡°I told you to look for me when you¡¯re nervous and you actually did.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡±


    ¡°If I was in front of you, your body would have found me,¡± Lee JiHan added regretfully. ¡°Hold that nervous thought, and you can resume when I wake you upter.¡±


    He had spoken in such a serene voice, I couldn¡¯t help but believe there were no obstacles in our way. Thanks to Lee JiHan, I was able to significantly calm down. But, it didn¡¯t decrease how much I missed him.


    After ending the call I slid into Lee JiHan¡¯s bed. Iid my head on his pillow and inhaled his scent. With my face buried in his pillow, I closed my eyes pretending it was him. Hugging the pillow, I fell asleep.


    ***


    After several hours, and the sun was up, Lee JiHan came to pick me up as promised. He drove us to Incheon airport.


    Curious about what they talked about, I asked him for details. Lee JiHan only told me that it went well and to hear the rest of it directly from my brother.


    He said it went fine, and his expression was bright. A small ray of hope formed inside me, making me believe that everything would really will be fine. Remembering JiKyung¡¯s attitude from the previous night, it was hard to believe he had changed his mind overnight.


    When we arrived to Incheon airport, Lee JiHan led me to Starbucks. Hearing that this was where I was supposed to meet JiKyung, I stepped inside nervously but found that he was not seated anywhere. He hadn¡¯t arrived yet.


    ¡°This is the ce where we first met,¡± Lee JiHan said as he looked around the interior of the Starbucks. ¡°Do you remember?¡±


    ¡°Of course I remember.¡±


    It had been the day I came to see JiKyung off to his business trip. Lee JiHan had seen me and dragged me away like a prisoner. Thinking about the past he still gave me the chills.


    ¡°Ugh...¡± I got goosebumps while reminiscing about that time and rubbed my arms together.


    ¡°Are you pretending to remember when you actually don¡¯t?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Uh, no way. That was the scariest day of my life,¡± I replied.


    ¡°Then, guess in which seat we sat.¡± Lee JiHan was testing me.


    I immediately pointed to the table we had sat in that day.


    Lee JiHan smiled crookedly and patted my head. ¡°Correct. We¡¯ll sit there for old time¡¯s sake.¡±


    ¡°Should we?¡± I headed towards the table I pointed at.


    As I did back then, I sat in the same chair and faced Lee JiHan. He continued to smile beautifully watching me. It was the same ce and person, so how could he be so different?


    ¡°My brother must be runningte. Let¡¯s order,¡± he said.


    ¡°I¡¯ll buy for old time¡¯s sake!¡± I stood up feeling I should show some sort of gesture to show my gratitude for this miracle.


    As I started to walk toward the cashier, Lee JiHan grabbed my wrist. ¡°You¡¯re going without even asking me what I want to drink?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s the sweetest thing here. The one you like the most,¡± I answered, remembering the drink that Lee JiHan had ordered before.


    ¡°No. This time it doesn¡¯t have to be that sweet,¡± he said.


    ¡°Oh, really? Why? I thought you liked sweets.¡±


    ¡°I like sweets when I¡¯m angry,¡± Lee JiHan said. ¡°I don¡¯t feel the need for sweets this day.¡±


    ¡°Why? There aren¡¯t a lot of instances to get angry?¡± I asked. ¡°You¡¯re, like, happy because of me?¡±


    I looked at Lee JiHan hoping for him to confirm that my answer was right. He cut me off and replied, ¡°There were a lot of instances to get angry.¡±


    I pouted with my head down feeling depressed.


    ¡°But, these days, even if I get angry, I don¡¯t feel the need for sweets,¡± he said. ¡°I just think of you instead.¡±


    At these words, my head shot up and, my eyes sparkled. I smiled from ear to ear.


    ¡°Then what should I order?¡± I happily asked.


    Lee JiHan grabbed my hand and stood up. ¡°You¡¯re not going anywhere. I¡¯ll go. Just tell me what you want to drink.¡±


    ¡°I said I¡¯ll buy it for old times¡¯ sake,¡± I said. ¡°I bought itst time for you.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m just trying to prove to you how different I am fromst time.¡± Lee JiHan sat back down, leaned over, and kissed me. Stepping back slightly, he looked into my eyes. ¡°I seduced the girl that was supposed to be marrying my brother, and you think I¡¯m going to make you move a finger?¡±


    It wasn¡¯t just words. Then and now, Lee JiHan said his words with sincerity in his eyes. It brought tears to my eyes, so I pulled him close.


    I was lost in the moment with my eyes closed when I heard a familiar voice.


    ¡°You were glued together on top of a car yesterday.¡±


    Surprised, I released Lee JiHan and saw JiKyung behind him. He was watching us with a bothered expression. I blushed furiously.


    ¡°Why is it that you two are like this every time I¡¯m here?¡± he asked. ¡°Are you doing it on purpose?¡±


    ¡°No, of course not,¡± I replied swiftly in embarrassment.


    Lee JiHan cut in breezily. ¡°It¡¯s not that we are doing this when you¡¯re here, we¡¯re just always like this.¡±


    JiKyung shook his head annoyed.


    As Lee JiHan went to order our drinks, there was an awkward silence that persisted between JiKyung and me. With my head down and swallowing dryly, I opened my mouth first to speak.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry for my selfish choice.¡±


    I was going to say more, but JiKyung, unlike yesterday, replied back to me in a soft voice. ¡°I was selfish too.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I lifted my head upon hearing the old sweet tone of JiKyung¡¯s voice. My eyes locked on his. They were as sweet as his voice.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t want to live as myself. No, I was afraid that I would get caught being myself, so I used you to have a fake wedding, and it¡¯s not like we are married already,¡± JiKyung said. ¡°Even if we break off the wedding, it¡¯s not like there will be a record like a divorce. I just wanted to go through with my n. If I married you, I could go on hiding without worry. That¡¯s why I was stubbornly against breaking it off with you. Selfishly.¡±


    JiKyung looked me in the eyes. ¡°And, the $500,000 I said yesterday. I was just mad, so it sort of just came out. I just felt so betrayed. I was so caught thinking about myself that I didn¡¯t have the capability to think about your position. I thought about it a lotst night. That¡¯s when I remembered. When you had agreed to the wedding, you said this to me.¡±


    JiKyung looked down remembering that day.


    ¡°That I was unconfident to live as myself to the point where I would act for the rest of my life in a marriage intended to fool everyone in the world including my family. Because of that reason, you would be willing to take on this part as my acting partner.¡±


    That¡¯s right. I did say that. I nodded remembering the words I had forgotten.


    ¡°Like a fellow soldier,¡± I said. ¡°I thought that the least I could do to help out a fellow soldier find peace was toplete this y.¡±


    JiKyung smiled. His face became serious again. ¡°I understand now what you were saying back then. That¡¯s why I can understand how you feel now. His voice was strong as he said, ¡°AhJung, as a fellow soldier, if you are happy right now, I wish for you to continue living that way.¡±


    ¡°Continue living like this?¡± I asked unsure of what he meant. I thought I knew what he meant, but I couldn¡¯t believe it.


    ¡°What I mean is, you don¡¯t have to marry me, and you don¡¯t have to break up with JiHan. We¡¯ll just pretend this contract never existed,¡± JiKyung answered as he checked his watch. He got up from his seat. ¡°I have to go now. It¡¯s almost boarding time.¡±


    JiKyung walked out of the Starbucks, just like that.


    ¡°Ji, JiKyung.¡±


    I followed him. He stopped walking and turned. With a rxed smile, he put out his hand.


    ¡°We may have not been able to go through with the wedding, but let¡¯s try for a better break up,¡± he said.


    He means it. He really means it!


    My heart exploded with happiness at the realization. But, I didn¡¯t grab JiKyung¡¯s hand. I wrapped his arms around him and gave him a tight hug instead.


    ¡°Thest time we were here, I had joked that out of all the women unloved by their husbands, you will be the happiest bride,¡± JiKyung said a little sadly. ¡°That promise was the truth. I couldn¡¯t love you as a woman, but I was confident I could make you happy.¡±


    I didn¡¯t realize when he had returned, but Lee JiHan¡¯s voice interrupted us.


    ¡°Instead, you will now be the happiest bride who will be very much loved by her husband. I promise you that, here in this airport.¡± He talked about our marriage as if it was a given.


    This man is a bit sappy around his brother. We haven¡¯t even been dating long and he¡¯s already making jokes like this...


    Content in finding out this new side of Lee JiHan, I hugged JiKyung even tighter. I didn¡¯t want to be happy alone. I wanted to share my luck with him. As I had found Lee JiHan, who had made me want to live as myself, I prayed that JiKyung would find his miracle to be himself too.

 Chapter 43

    <h4>Chapter 43</h4>


    Cancel the venue. Studio, dress, makeup, canceled. Let the invitees to the wedding know about the cancetion.


    I sighed as I sat at the desk writing out what I had to do.


    We wouldn¡¯t be able to get our full deposit back now from the venue. What made me worried more than that was informing my father and stepmother about it.


    Ah...They¡¯re going to think I¡¯m so pathetic... My head fell to the desk with a thud in my depression. Should I just pretend I got married, leave that wretched house, and cut ties with them? But I have nowhere to go at the moment...


    I shook my head with my head still glued to the desk.


    The Blue Theatre still had ys going on, so I couldn¡¯t stay in the practice room. I couldn¡¯t stay at Lee JiHan¡¯s ce any longer. Before I could stay there on the premise that I was trying to gain approval from the inws. Once we broke off the engagement, it was not for the inws. It was just living together.


    Ah! I can¡¯t, I can¡¯t.


    My head shot back up. I shook my head vigorously. The situation now waspletely different from when Lee JiHan was my future brother-inw. Back then, I wasn¡¯t supposed to have any physical attraction to him. Now, it was at its peak.


    Yes. It¡¯s dangerous here now. Living together with someone you are allowed to feel something for. Something is bound to happen, isn¡¯t it? Well, even if nothing were to happen, how will it look to others? And, there¡¯s no way nothing can happen.


    I closed my notebook resolutely certain of my judgement. I got up to start packing. The soreness in my legs caught me off guard.


    ¡°Ahhh!¡±


    When I was hugging JiKyung at the airport, I was so ecstatic that I was able to ignore the pain. Not having a shadow hanging over me any longer, the aches seemed to be screaming to me that it was their turn for the spotlight.


    Ow, my whole body...


    I was bent over in pain as I rubbed my sore thighs. Looking around to check what I had to pack, I slowly moved to the closet. I grabbed my worn out bag that I had brought when I first moved in.


    The clothes I had worn. The phone I had brought with me. The charger. Wallet. That¡¯s it.


    It didn¡¯t take long to finish packing my bag. I ced it on top of my bed. It was still bright outside, so I didn¡¯t think I had to leave just yet. Since it would be myst day there, I wanted to spend it in a special way before I left. I walked back to the desk and reopened my notebook. I wrote all the things I wanted to do with Lee JiHan in it. I chose only those things that we could do at home.


    ***


    A few momentster, I stood in front of Lee JiHan¡¯s room hugging my teddy bear. I knocked nervously with the teddy bear there forfort.


    Lee JiHan soon came to the door. ¡°What is it? Why aren¡¯t you sleeping? We were up all night sorting out that mess, and we even went to the airport in the morning.¡±


    ¡°Make me sweet and sour pork!¡± I blurted out bravely.


    ¡°What did you just say?¡± Lee JiHan asked me suspiciously with a stone face.


    ¡°Sweet and sour pork... I want to eat it. The one you make....¡±


    ¡°Sweet and sour pork, you¡¯re asking me to make it for you?¡± Lee JiHan looked like he couldn¡¯t believe that I had said that to him.


    Am I not allowed to ask him for this favor? Should I not have asked? Is it a difficult favor?


    My bravery was dissipating fast, and my head started to sink. Raising the notebook I had in my hand, I read the line below sweet and sour pork.


    ¡°Or marinated chicken.. .japchae, bulgogi, sushi, ddeokboki... Any of those.¡±


    I looked up at Lee JiHan hopefully. He took the notebook out of my hand.


    ¡°What is this?¡± Lee JiHan asked after reading the contents of the notebook. ¡°Is it a list of what you want to eat today?¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s a list of what I want to do with you today,¡± I replied


    ¡°I want to eat the sweet and sour pork you make for me. I want to eat the marinated chicken you make me. I want to eat the japchae you make me...¡±


    He read the list out loud and stopped looking at me incredulously. ¡°How is this a list of things you want to do with me? This is just a list of menu items.¡±


    ¡°No, I was just thinking about what I wanted to do with you, and I just became curious about all the dishes you haven¡¯t made for me yet,¡± I said. ¡°And, I wanted to try them...¡±


    ¡°All right.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I blinked surprisedly at Lee JiHan¡¯s voice.


    ¡°Did you know this is the first time you asked me to do anything for you?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Oh, really...¡± I mumbled under my breath.


    ¡°That¡¯s why I was so surprised when you asked me to make sweet and sour pork for you. It¡¯s like you¡¯ve changed,¡± Lee JiHan said with a pleased smile. He lowered his face and gave me a peck on the lips. ¡°I like this change.¡±


    He looked back at my notebook. After browsing the list, he said. ¡°I can make all this for you today, but can you eat it all?¡±


    ¡°Oh, I don¡¯t think so,¡± I said. ¡°You can just choose one.¡±


    ¡°Just one. No way. I¡¯m going to make all 12 in here in small portions,¡± he said.


    ¡°Wow, really?! I didn¡¯t expect anything like that!¡±


    ¡°If you were going to ask for something, you should have put in shark¡¯s fin or bear feet or something rare like that,¡± Lee JiHan breezily said. ¡°Did you really think I couldn¡¯t make you these simple things?¡±


    Forgetting all about my body aches, my shoulders danced up and down as I shook my teddy bear excitedly.


    ***


    I woke up from my nap when I heard Lee JiHan call for me. Still half asleep, he pulled me into the kitchen. When I sat down across from him, the table was filled with all the dishes I had requested in bite size portions.


    ¡°Oh, wow! This is like a king¡¯s table,¡± I said. ¡°I feel like a King SeJong, JoongJong, MoonJong. I¡¯m not AhJung, I¡¯m AhJong!¡±


    Lee JiHanughed at my silly remark. I smiled at hisugh and put the pork in my mouth. The sweet and sour sauce with the crispy exterior batter, the thick juicy pork inside exploded with its juices as I bit into it. I burst out into Chinese, ¡°Wow! Ni Chi Fan Le ma!¡±


    There was nothing left to say. My mouth was so busy eating that there wasn¡¯t any time to speak. I emptied all 12 tes and patted my stomach happily.


    I won¡¯t be able to enjoy the food Lee JiHan makes me every day anymore. But having eaten 12 of his dishes, I¡¯ll be content with just remember this day. I¡¯ll be content even if I was starving.


    I leaned back in my chair happily when Lee JiHan spoke.


    ¡°The y, ¡®I¡¯m Against This Wedding.¡¯ We OK¡¯d the synopsis, so writer Noh will start creating the script,¡± Lee JiHan said


    ¡°Oh, really?¡±


    ¡°When the first draft is finished, he will send it to us,¡± he said.


    A y written for me. I nodded still unable to believe it.


    ¡°Now that we¡¯ve finished eating, let¡¯s get up and go out for a date,¡± Lee JiHan said while standing up.


    ¡°No. I don¡¯t want to go out today.¡±


    Lee JiHan looked at me confused at my refusal. ¡°You¡¯re going to stay at home instead of going out on a date?¡±


    ¡°No. I want to have the date at home,¡± I replied.


    Lee JiHan¡¯s expression looked even more confused.


    ¡°Not outside but at home. The date. I want to stay at home today,¡± I added with a smile.


    The 12 things I listed had appeared at the table and been cleared out in one shot, so I¡¯d have to think about that a bit more. Whatever we did, I knew that I would enjoy it all.


    ¡°Na AhJung, aren¡¯t you sore?¡± he asked.


    I cocked my head at the unexpected question.


    ¡°What? Sore? Yes of course, it¡¯s pretty severe. Why?¡±


    ¡°Feeling that way after working out that much is natural,¡± Lee JiHan said. ¡°I should be the one to help rx your muscles. So, I¡¯ve made an appointment at a massage parlor. You don¡¯t want to go?¡±


    ¡°Massage?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a full course, so it¡¯s going to take about two hours,¡± he said. ¡°Then, I was nning to grab dinner ande back home.¡±


    At the mention of massage, I was tempted But, I also didn¡¯t want to lose the hours I could be spending at this house on myst day. After a lot of back and forth, I shook my head.


    ¡°Uh, we can¡¯t. We can do all that tomorrow, so, today, let¡¯s just y at home,¡± I said


    ¡°We can do that tomorrow?¡± Lee JiHan frowned suspecting something was off. ¡°And, ying at home is not something we can do tomorrow?¡±


    I nodded at his exact observation. It was a topic we had to discusster anyway.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to leave after tonight,¡± I said.


    ¡°What are you talking about all of a sudden?¡± Lee JiHan asked.


    ¡°JiKyung knows about us now, so me staying here will look weird to him,¡± I replied.


    ¡°It¡¯s not weird,¡± Lee JiHan said curtly.


    ¡°That¡¯s what you think,¡± I said.


    ¡°My brother thinks so too,¡± he retorted.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°My brother already agreed to let you stay here,¡± Lee JiHan said.


    ¡°When?¡±


    ¡°In the morning, while you were sleeping. I knelt in front of my brother and got his approval,¡± Lee JiHan said without a change in expression.


    I thought I had heard wrong. With that temper... He did what? He what?


    ¡°What? You kneeled?¡±


    He looked me straight in the eyes as he replied, ¡°You said you want to live as yourself for the first time in your life, and you think I can¡¯t do that for you?¡±


    ¡°But, you told me to never kneel in front of anyone, that we didn¡¯t need your brother¡¯s approval...¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t need my brother¡¯s approval, but it looked like you did,¡± he said. ¡°You needed that to be happy. So, I knelt once.¡±


    ¡°So, the reason JiKyung approved of us is because you kneeled?¡± I asked.


    ¡°My brother said that after he heard your confession, and after all it is with me, he had to approve,¡± he said. ¡°I just sealed the deal with the whole kneeling bit.¡±


    Lee JiHan kneeled. I blinked unable to believe it.


    ¡°So, my brother approved of us dating and of you staying here. He doesn¡¯t think it¡¯s weird. He¡¯s actually the one that suggested I take good care of you here because he was worried about you returning back to your stepmother¡¯s ce.¡± Lee JiHan smiled reassuringly. ¡°Oh, and...¡±


    My mind was all scrambled, but I came back to my senses. I can¡¯t just let this slide! Even if JiKyung approved of this, I can¡¯t!


    ¡°Still, this is not right. JiKyung might be OK with it, but my father and stepmother will think staying at the brother-inw¡¯s house after breaking off the wedding is inappropriate,¡± I said.


    ¡°Does the person who cleanly broke off the wedding and found a new love have to be at the end of the judging by someone who messily divorced and found a new love?¡± Lee JiHan pointed out.


    Messy divorce after marriage... That¡¯s right. My father did that. Even before the divorce, he was living in two households and bugging my mother for not divorcing him. Now that I think about it, he was right. Why do I care what he thinks?


    I nodded emotionally. ¡°You¡¯re right. I don¡¯t know about other people, but I don¡¯t think I deserve criticism from my father and stepmother.¡±


    ¡°So, don¡¯t worry about them,¡± Lee JiHan said. ¡°Just let them know the wedding is off and you can continue living here.¡±


    Can...Can I do that? Can I... Hearing it that, I don¡¯t think it matters what other people think... No, but aren¡¯t we the issue if we live together? Something is bound to happen between two people who love each other and live in the same house...


    My head filled with these thoughts. I swallowed dryly.


    Lee JiHan took my hand in his. ¡°Na AhJung. I have to go back to America in a month.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I start school in a month, so I will have to stay there,¡± he said.


    I just realized that Lee JiHan was studying abroad and was only here until school resumed. My heart dropped upon this realization.


    Lee JiHan, still holding my hand, said, ¡°I want to spend the most time I can with you until I have to leave. So, I want to live together with you and be with you night and day. Can¡¯t we?¡±


    There¡¯s only a month left...


    I nodded no longer having anything to argue against. I didn¡¯t want to lose a day or a minute of the one month I had left with him.

 Chapter 44

    <h4>Chapter 44</h4>


    I looked at the raggedy bag on Na AhJung¡¯s bed and scoffed in disbelief. ¡°That¡¯s why you packed?¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± Na AhJung looked at me as if she was confused as to what the problem was.


    ¡°Your things are all over the room, and you were going to leave with that one bag?¡± I asked


    ¡°I¡¯m not just taking the one bag,¡± she replied ¡°There¡¯s other stuff in the bag too. Look.¡±


    Na AhJung opened the bag as proof. Inside were a couple items of clothing, a phone, charger, and wallet.


    ¡°These are just the things you brought when you first came here,¡± I said. ¡°What I¡¯m saying is, why aren¡¯t you taking any of your new things.¡±


    ¡°Oh. That¡¯s because there¡¯s nowhere to put it if I go to my stepmother¡¯s house,¡± Na AhJung said.


    She was right. That small living room didn¡¯t even have enough space to sit the teddy bear even when it had been Na AhJung¡¯s room. Now, that living room didn¡¯t even have a corner that she could even stand in. At the moment, the ce where she had slept had been reced by a sofa and television set.


    I shook my head remembering the sight of it. This girl doesn¡¯t even know about all this, and she was nning to move out.


    ¡°I will only allow you to move out if you find a better ce than here,¡± I insisted as I pulled Na AhJung in close. ¡°Of course, I already know that a ce like that doesn¡¯t exist.¡±


    I kissed her. My lips remained pressed against hers with no intention to ever move onto another¡¯s lips. I was certain there would never be anywhere else that my lips would want to be.


    No. There might be another ce that¡¯s better... I turned my head and kissed Na AhJung¡¯s cheek. This is nice too...


    Next, I kissed the edge of her ear. She jumped in a panic and grabbed my arm. As a consequence, my lips slid away from her ear.


    ¡°Ah, what, what are you doing?¡± Na AhJung asked. Her face was reddening.


    ¡°That area felt softer than your lips,¡± I replied.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Let me check.¡± I wrapped my arms around Na AhJung¡¯s waist and lifted her onto the tea table.


    This height was morefortable since I didn¡¯t have to bend over. My lips grazed over her ear once again. I held Na AhJung¡¯s head in ce so she couldn¡¯t move away.


    Her body shuddered, but her ear did not slip away from my lips this time. It was softer than her lips but not as moist. And, they didn¡¯t move like her lips. But...


    ¡°Ah, why are you doing that in such a weird ce? Ah, seriously!¡± Na AhJung twisted her body ufortably.


    ¡°Is your ear a weird ce for you?¡± I asked removing my lips.


    ¡°If feels weird,¡± she said.


    ¡°I like it. It¡¯s weird for you?¡± I asked, not expecting such a reaction.


    Na AhJung lower her gaze. She tried to speak, but it was as if it was something difficult to exin.


    ¡°If you don¡¯t like it, I won¡¯t do it,¡± I said giving up.


    She immediately shook her head. ¡°No, no. Keep doing it. If you keep doing it, I¡¯ll get used to it.¡±


    Na AhJung closed her eyes and leaned toward me. Seeing her eyebrows narrow as she tried diligently to get used to the feeling made me lose my momentum.


    ¡°We¡¯ll just look for a ce you like,¡± I said. ¡°There¡¯s no point trying to make you get used to a ce you don¡¯t like.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Na AhJung opened her eyes and looked at me.


    ¡°Starting from now, if you don¡¯t like it, then tell me right away. Then I¡¯ll stop.¡±


    After promising her, my lips traveled to her neck. The moment my lips touched her, Na AhJung squirmed and grabbed my shoulder. Soon, she stopped moving. She removed one of her hands and didn¡¯t say anything. Instead, I could feel her swallowing at the ce my lips touched her neck.


    Not knowing whether she liked it or not by her reaction, I backed off and looked at her. Na AhJung blocked her mouth with one hand and looked to be trying to resist something.


    ¡°What are you doing right now?¡± I asked.


    My gaze locked on Na AhJung¡¯s. Both of us were frozen. Na AhJung coughed into her hand.


    ¡°Ah choo! Uh, a sneeze wasing on. Ah, ah choo!¡± After sneezing, Na AhJung removed her hand from her mouth. She pointed back to her neck and said, ¡°Here, you may continue.¡±


    I stared at her neck. ¡°I¡¯ve already tried there.¡±


    ¡°Uh, then... Next...¡± From her neck, Na AhJung¡¯s hand slid slowly over to her vicle.


    My gaze followed her fingers down, but I forced myself to stop and turn away. ¡°That¡¯s far enough.¡±


    ¡°What?!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s dangerous to go further.¡± I grabbed Na AhJung¡¯s waist and lifted her down from the tea table.


    In a bewildered voice she asked, ¡°What¡¯s dangerous?¡±


    ¡°More than that will go against the acts allowed before marriage,¡± I replied.


    ¡°Acts allowed before marriage... What?¡± she asked.


    ¡°Anything beyond PG-13 will be done after marriage,¡± I exined controlling my desires.


    Na AhJung looked at me with wide eyes as if she couldn¡¯t believe it. ¡°Then... Is this the farthest we can go?¡± she asked while pointing to her neck.


    ¡°Until marriage, that is as far as we can go.¡± I nodded firmly.


    ¡°What, why?!¡± she asked.


    ¡°I¡¯ve already decided that I will only sleep with my wife, and that decision will follow me to my grave,¡± I replied.


    ¡°What?!¡± Na AhJung eximed loudly refusing to believe it.


    ¡°You¡¯re the first girl to have almost crumbled my resolution, so I think I have to be away from you awhile to protect myself.¡±


    After saying that, I turned my head away from her. With both fists clenched, I strutted out of the room.


    ***


    I came back to my room, sat at the tea table, and turned on the audio. With my eyes closed, I crossed my arms.


    In beat to the ssic music, I took deep breaths. With the help of the soothing ssical music, I chased away the dangerous thoughts that had inhabited it. Preserving my purity like that of December¡¯s first snow had never been an issue until now. Who would have thought it would be so difficult in the blink of an eye?


    ¡°I almost made a footprint in it,¡± I said to myself calming my heart.


    Until the wedding. I just have to resist until then. Just until then... I don¡¯t know when that would be, but until then, I will wait.


    I knew I would marry Na AhJung. That day woulde. I had to make sure I didn¡¯t get swept up in the moment and mess up the first time.


    It will be at the best vacation spot where we can see the stars in the night sky. And, it will be the most romantic time ever. On the most luxurious bed with champagne... After everything is prepared with the absolute best, I will make sure it will be a special night to remember. Not just swept up in the moment on a lustful whim. No way. There is no way I will let that happen.


    I nodded my head in determination. Suddenly, a thought hit me. I stopped my nodding. The day I had prepared my proposal to Na AhJung, after finishing at the dress shop, I had wanted to calmly take her to the theater to start my proposal. Unlike the way I had envisioned it, I got swept up in the moment and proposedpletely differently than expected. I had been so entranced by her in a wedding dress that my feelings just spilled out without my notice.


    Na AhJung didn¡¯t answer then. I frowned at the unsavory realization.


    Now that I think about it, Na AhJung didn¡¯t answer me. Even when I had proposed properly at the theater, she didn¡¯t answer me. She had also promised to give me an answer the day after, but she only told me that she liked me. She never confirmed that she would marry me.


    I didn¡¯t realize it because I was so happy that she epted me. Itpletely slipped my mind. Does she even want to marry me?


    With my suspicions growing, the words Na AhJung said to my brother were also bothering me.


    ¡°Tell them a different reason for us breaking it off. Like you found out that there is something wrong with the girl¡¯s past or that she¡¯s an unwed mother... Whatever, it doesn¡¯t matter. Tell them whatever is best for you. If you make an excuse like that...¡±


    That made it seem like she had no intention of us getting married. Saying that she has a strange past or is an unwed mother would be an easy excuse to get the wedding canceled by any mother¡¯s standards. But, my brother¡¯s mother was also my mother.


    What kind of parent would ept a wed daughter-inw who broke off the engagement four weeks before the wedding? How in the world was she nning to get epted by my mother by cing such a huge obstacle in our way?


    I shot up from my seat, furious at her.


    I even kneeled in front of my brother to get his approval! I kneeled in front of someone for the first time in my life thinking it would make her life easier!


    ¡°Are you really doing all this for AhJung¡¯s sake?¡± I remembered my brother¡¯s expression as I knelt in front of him at the hotel parlor.


    ¡°I¡¯m willing to kneel before you for Na AhJung¡¯s sake. I love her that much. But, you still won¡¯t ept us?¡±


    Like I said, I was a man who kneeled for Na AhJung. But, she was really only thinking of dating me. Is that it?


    I ran to Na AhJung¡¯s room unable to shake off my suspicions. When I barged through the door, she was lying down on her bed with the nket over her head.


    What is she doing like that in the middle of the day?


    As I walked toward the bed, Na AhJung¡¯s feet kicked the air in front of her.


    ¡°Na AhJung,¡± I said the moment I got next to her bed.


    Na AhJung stopped her movement under the nket. She shot up and looked at me with her face red in surprise. ¡°Uh, when did you get here?¡±


    Without answering her, I got straight to the point. ¡°Na AhJung, are you going to marry me?¡±


    ¡°What?!¡± Her eyes grew huge. It was as if she hadn¡¯t even contemted such a thing.


    ¡°Ae you really not thinking of marrying me?!¡± I stared at her fiercely demanding an answer.


    ***


    Lee JiHan hade in yelling about marriage out of the blue, demanding that I answer back.


    ¡°Well, that¡¯s something we have to see about farther down the line,¡± I said.


    ¡°Are you saying you don¡¯t have any thoughts about it now?¡± Lee JiHan viciously threw his question.


    ¡°Well obviously, we can¡¯t do it now,¡± I replied


    ¡°Why is it obvious that we can¡¯t do it now?¡± he asked.


    ¡°How can we?¡± I couldn¡¯t believe that he couldn¡¯t see why. ¡°I just canceled the wedding with JiKyung. How can I get married to someone else right now? How would you exin that?¡±


    ¡°My brother approved of our wedding,¡± Lee JiHan confidently said.


    But, I didn¡¯t believe him. ¡°He couldn¡¯t have. There¡¯s no way. He might have epted us dating, but marrying now...We can hide us dating from other people, but people will have to know if we are getting married. The girl that was supposed to get married to JiKyung is marrying his brother instead. JiKyung couldn¡¯t have agreed to that.¡±


    ¡°We can just say that the girl my brother was going to marry has the same name as the girl I¡¯m going to marry,¡± Le JiHan said. ¡°That¡¯s how I persuaded my brother to agree to it.¡±


    ¡°But...¡± I still wasn¡¯t unsure.


    He quickly retorted, ¡°Besides, you haven¡¯t met or been introduced to any of my brother¡¯s friends, have you? And neither have you met any of my mother¡¯s acquaintances.¡±


    At Lee JiHan¡¯s words, I suddenly realized it. JiKyung had not once introduced me to any of his friends. Being a contract wedding and all, he must have wanted to hide my identity as much as possible. That must have been why he asked me to quit acting when we got married.


    And, his mother had said she would invite only her closest family members. Yet, I had not thought to introduce me to any of them. Those family members were only going to meet me at the wedding itself.


    Now that I think about it, I was only known by a name to both JiKyung¡¯s and his mother¡¯s acquaintances.


    ¡°That¡¯s true,¡± I said.


    ¡°Then, if we were to get married, the only people that would know you are the same Na AhJung that was going to marry my brother would be our parents and a couple of your friends. And, I can persuade them to keep this hushed,¡± Lee JiHan said determinedly as he sat at the edge of my bed staring into my eyes. ¡°So stop using other people as your excuse and answer me properly. Right at this moment, do you, in your heart, want to marry me.¡±


    He eyes seemed to be boring into my skull. I gulped nervously.


    Marriage? I didn¡¯t think about it. Considering the situation with JiKyung, I thought that it would be years before I could even think about it. So, I didn¡¯t even dream about it. But, that was before.


    ¡°I¡¯ve already decided that I will only sleep with my wife, and that decision will follow me to my grave.¡±


    I remembered his statement that ckened my soul just a few moments ago.


    ¡°Anything beyond PG-13 will be done after marriage.¡±


    Who would have thought Lee JiHan would have a chastity vow before marriage? Why didn¡¯t he tell me something this important before we started dating?!


    I was tempted to kick at my nket again. If I had started dating knowing that, I wouldn¡¯t have felt so betrayed.


    Instead of kicking my nket, I bit my lip. With my fists clenched I yelled. ¡°No, I do not!¡±

 Chapter 45

    <h4>Chapter 45</h4>


    I spit out these words in anger, hoping to make him get a taste of his own medicine. I thought for a moment that an earthquake had erupted. Lee JiHan¡¯s pupils shook.


    ¡°I had my doubts but...¡± His lips even started to tremble. ¡°How... How could you...¡±


    He shook his head weakly and took a step back from the bed. Lee JiHan stood frozen and let out a deep sigh. Not expecting such a dramatic reaction, I stared at him with fearful eyes. He turned around and walked wretchedly out the door.


    ¡°Wait! Wait!¡± I ran to Lee JiHan and grabbed his arm. ¡°What I mean is, we¡¯ve only been dating for a couple of days. I¡¯m only saying I don¡¯t have any thoughts on the matter as of now. You¡¯re supposed to think about marriage as you get to know each other and think it through carefully.¡±


    I tried to persuade Lee JiHan by exining it logically. I was sorry that I had answered so rashly before. Lee JiHan stopped for a moment.


    Like a person who had lost his soul, he mumbled quietly,¡± I thought, we were going to get married. I thought we could as we continued dating. I thought you loved me enough to be able to get married right now. Like I feel. I believed that if you love someone this much, it¡¯s obvious that we were supposed to get married...¡±


    He frowned his heart as if he was in pain. Watching him in this state made my heart hurt. I wanted to clutch at my chest too.


    ¡°It¡¯s just that marriage is not just about love,¡± I said. ¡°If marriage was just based on love, I could get married to you right away. No, I would want to. But, marriage is life. You have to live with that person your whole life, so you should see all the negatives and deal with all the bad things that cane with it. Only then will you not get disappointed and live happily together for a long time.¡±


    ¡°When I didn¡¯t know my brother was gay, I did my best to show the worst side of myself,¡± he said. ¡°There¡¯s nothing more negative or bad that you have left to see.¡±


    He knew it too. He knew how much of a jerk he was back then.


    ¡°Do you want to see worse things?¡± Lee JiHan asked me.


    Worse than back then? I shook my head not wanting to even imagine it. ¡°Ah, no. Never.¡±


    ¡°Then, what reason is left that we can¡¯t get married?¡± he asked.


    ¡°That...¡±


    There has to be something else. Of course there is. A reason to not get married after dating for only a couple of days...


    I tried with all my might to think of a reason.


    ¡°Even if JiKyung did ept us, reasonably, it will be difficult to get married right away,¡± I finally said.


    ¡°Why do you think that?¡± Lee JiHan asked.


    ¡°First of all, JiKyung¡¯s mother is your mother,¡± I said. ¡°It will be difficult for your mother to ept me...¡±


    ¡°She will,¡± Lee JiHan quietly said.


    ¡°That¡¯s what you think,¡± I replied. ¡°There¡¯s no way your mother would think like that. She will probably ept us if we try hard enough, but that will be muchter.¡±


    ¡°If she gives her approval now, are you willing to do it?¡± Lee JiHan asked suspiciously as if testing me to see if I would hesitate to answer.


    I exaggerated my movements and nodded my head. I knew it couldn¡¯t happen, so what was the harm in promising? It was worth it if it gave Lee JiHan peace of mind.


    With that mindset, I smiled at him. I was trying to prove to him that my love was as deep as his and that he could trust me.


    He stared into my eyes for a moment and slowly nodded. ¡°Then, I¡¯ll believe you.¡±


    Is he finally feeling better?


    I sighed in relief. Lee JiHan put both his hands on my shoulder. With a strange look, he said, ¡°Once I get my mother¡¯s approval, we will get married right away.¡±


    I got a foreboding feeling in my stomach. My heart dropped. He wouldn¡¯t be able to really get the approval right away could he?


    The moment the thought crossed my mind, Lee JiHan pulled out his phone. He dialed a number and put the phone to his ear.


    ¡°What, what are you doing?¡± I asked in a fluster.


    Instead of replying to me, he talked through the phone. ¡°Yes. Assistant Yoon. It¡¯s me. What does my mother¡¯s schedule look like today? I have something to discuss with her.¡±


    ¡°Ack!¡±


    I charged at Lee JiHan trying to steal the phone away from him. Stretching my arms as far as it would go while tip toeing was just enough to reach the phone at his ear. Once I had reached it, he leaned over, wrapped his arm around my waist, and lifted me up.


    Unable to put up much of a fight, I was flung over his shoulder and limply hung stuck staring at his back.


    ¡°Hmm... We can¡¯t help that,¡± he said. ¡°Then, forget about today. Just hold open a spot for me tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°Mister! Mister, no! You can¡¯t, don¡¯t hold a spot!¡± I pounded Lee JiHan¡¯s back, iling in the air.


    He asked me, ¡°Don¡¯t hold?¡±


    ¡°Yes! Don¡¯t hold! Don¡¯t!¡± As I yelled this, Lee JiHan let go of his grip around my waist. ¡°Ack! Why are you letting go!¡±


    I froze trying not to slide down his shoulder.


    ¡°You said not to hold,¡± he replied.


    ¡°Hold it!, Hold, now! Before I fall down!¡±


    Only after I screamed this in fear did Lee JiHan regain his grasp. He firmly said, ¡°Tomorrow at 6 it is.¡±


    ¡°What?!¡±


    ¡°Yep. I don¡¯t care where the venue is. You can decide and let me know through text,¡± Lee JiHan added as he walked swiftly to the bed.


    He tossed his phone on the bed. With two hands around my waist, he folded each of his knees onto the bed. His movements were slow and deliberate, ensuring I would remain stable over his shoulder.


    Only after firmly nting his knees on the bed did Lee JiHan let me down. The moment my feet touched the bed, I regained my bnce and stood watching him. He looked up at me with a wide grin.


    Really. Is this the same guy that was dying just moments ago?


    His once nk eyes were now positively glistening like sunlight bouncing off ake. Gazing at me with those eyes, he grabbed my waist. ¡°You will go with me to get approval tomorrow at 6, OK?¡±


    ¡°What?! Tomorrow?¡± I asked in shock.


    ¡°So, while we are getting the massages today, we¡¯ll also get some skin care done as well,¡± he said.


    ¡°How, so suddenly?¡±


    I tried to debate the issue with him, but Lee JiHan didn¡¯t even give me a chance. Instead, he hugged me tight. With excitement in his voice, he said, ¡°I feel like I died and came back to life.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Am I the only one this much in love?¡± he replied. ¡°Does Na AhJung not want to marry me? These thoughts were killing me inside. I feel like I can breathe now.¡±


    Everything I wanted to say to try to dissuade him disappeared. Wait, why do I have to dissuade him? As the question arose in my head, I ced my hand on Lee JiHan¡¯s head and softly ran my fingers through it.


    Yes... I like him this much too. I love him. Marriage, if I can do it, then I would love to.


    My heart nudged me to abide by his decision. I swept my hand past Lee JiHan¡¯s hair to his chin, lifting his face to mine. Following my lead, he lifted his face and looked up at me. Obeying my heart¡¯s request, I lowered my face to face his until our lips met so my lips could make him understand what I did not say in words.


    ***


    I had thought it strange that my life was working out so easily when JiKyung and I had nned our parents meeting seven weeks ago.


    Me, a 33-year-old, no-name theater actress from a household that couldn¡¯t even ount as average, marrying the grandson of a millionaire. How could something like that even happen. Why was no one opposing this wedding? Unable to believe my luck, I felt like I was approaching the climax of the roller coaster before it tipped over the edge. I had been terrified.


    Even though JiKyung¡¯s mother had epted our marriage from the start, I had always been afraid that she would seek me out privately and change her mind. I had expected her to throw me an envelope full of money, dump water over me, or p me across the face to break up with her son. But, she did not.


    On the way to the meeting venue, the roller coaster I was riding now felt even more dangerous and closer to its tipping point. It felt even higher with a steeper drop than I had imagined before.


    Strangely though, I wasn¡¯t as terrified as before. I was nervous but not terrified. It was as if I knew this roller coaster had a fail-safe seatbelt. The fall might be excruciating to endure, but I believed I would remain safe.


    ¡°Are you nning to kneel in front of your mother too?¡± I turned and asked Lee JiHan turning


    He remained looking forward and smiled lightly. ¡°Why? Do you want to see me kneel?¡±


    ¡°If you¡¯re going to, I want to do it with you,¡± I replied.


    His smile vanished at my words. ¡°That you can¡¯t do, so don¡¯t even dream about it.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± I asked. ¡°If you are going to, then it¡¯s best we both do it.¡±


    ¡°Before it gets to that stage, I will get her approval. Peacefully and logically.¡± Lee JiHan assured me.


    ¡°Do you really think that is possible?¡± I still had my doubts.


    ¡°Was there a time when I couldn¡¯t resolve something?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Well, no,¡± I said. ¡°But, it won¡¯t be that easy to persuade your mother...¡±


    The light turned red. Lee JiHan stopped the car and turned his head to face me. He gave me his right hand. ¡°If you¡¯re scared, you can hold this.¡±


    ¡°No. I¡¯m not scared,¡± I replied bravely, trusting myself as much as I trusted Lee JiHan. ¡°I think it¡¯s going to be difficult and take a long time, but I¡¯ll be able to handle it. I won¡¯t give up.¡±


    Lee JiHan frowned at my answer. ¡°If you¡¯re not scared, then you don¡¯t have any other need to hold this hand? My hand?¡±


    I sensed my mistake by his tone. ¡°No, of course not!¡±


    I grabbed Lee JiHan¡¯s hand with both of mine. His expression still didn¡¯t rx. He continued to re at me.


    Seeing his angered expression, I tried to change the subject. ¡°Oh, um, so...¡± Fretting, I turned my head to the stop light. I pointed hurriedly to it. ¡°The light, it turned green.¡±


    Lee JiHan turned his head toward the light. At that moment, I gave him a peck on the cheek and swiftly returned to my seat.


    Sitting up straight in my seat, I faced the still red stoplight. Red. Like my face. That was so childish.... I was so embarrassed I lowered my head and covered my face with my hands.


    Then, I heard Lee JiHan¡¯s voice. ¡°Na AhJung, this is not the time to be doing that.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I turned around wondering what he was talking about.


    Lee JiHan locked eyes with me and answered, ¡°Before it really turns green, you better hurry up and kiss me on my lips.¡±


    The moment the words escaped his mouth, he pushed his face into mine and kissed me.


    We didn¡¯t realize that the light had turned green until the cars behind us started honking.


    ***


    JiKyung¡¯s mother, who was also JiHan¡¯s mother coincidentally chose the same venue where our parents had met. It was close to thepany. She was a regr there, so it wasn¡¯t that much of a surprise. I was surprised to find that she had arrived earlier than us and was already sitting in the VIP room.


    I caught sight of Lee JiHan¡¯s mother at the table and greeted her hastily. ¡°Mam, you were already here? ¡°It¡¯s been awhile since we met.¡±


    I stood back up after bowing 90 degrees. She looked surprised as she took turns looking at me and Lee JiHan. She went on to smile benignly at both of us.


    ¡°AhJung, what are you doing here?¡± My youngest son said he wanted to talk to me, but I didn¡¯t expect you to be here too.¡± Her gaze moved to Lee JiHan. ¡°What is it that you have to tell me that you bring your sister-inw here?¡±


    Sister-inw... That one phrase drained me of all my color as I swallowed nervously.


    ¡°She¡¯s not my sister inw anymore,¡± Lee JiHan told his mother curtly.


    Holding my hand, he walked toward his mother. Lee JiHan sat me down next to him and sat across from his mother. She was staring at us strangely.


    ¡°What do you mean she¡¯s no longer your sister-inw?¡± she asked. ¡°JiHan, you¡¯re not still against your brother marrying AhJung are you? Did you force her to give up and brought her here to tell me about them breaking off the engagement?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s partly true, but the rest is wrong,¡± Lee JiHan calmly replied.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong and what¡¯s right?¡± she asked.


    ¡°My brother and Na AhJung have officially broken off the engagement,¡± he said. ¡°You can hear the specifics from my brother. He said he would exin it to you.¡±


    At Lee JiHan¡¯s words, his mother turned a surprised gaze over to me. Before she could even open her mouth to speak, Lee JiHan continued. ¡°The reason I came here with Na AhJung is not to tell you about the break up, but to tell you about Na AhJung¡¯s engagement to me.¡±


    ¡°Wha, what did you say?¡± his mother looked shocked.


    ¡°It¡¯s already been decided,¡± Lee JiHan said. ¡°Na AhJung and my brother have agreed on breaking off the engagement. She and I have agreed to get married. My brother has agreed to this wedding. We only have your permission left.¡±


    ¡°Are you crazy?¡± Lee JiHan¡¯s mother¡¯s gaze fell on me. ¡°AhJung, you tell me. Is this all true?¡±


    I hung my head in shame. Bringing up all the courage I had, I said, ¡°I¡¯m sorry. Truthfully...¡±


    ¡°How could you?¡± his mother asked. ¡°If you break it off with JiKyung now, what about his reputation?¡±


    ¡°Mother, who these days makes a big deal about a broken engagement?¡± Lee JiHan replied. ¡°If while you are preparing for it, you find out it doesn¡¯t work, then you cancel it. It¡¯s not like the bride ran off during the wedding. Plus, it¡¯s not even a fault when you get divorced after getting married. Don¡¯t you remember how many millionaire son¡¯s got divorcedst year alone? Breaking off an engagement won¡¯t even be gossip worthy.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s different for JiKyung! For JiKyung!¡± his mother yelled in frustration. She soon stopped and fell silent in thought. She regained herposure and said, ¡°AhJung. JiKyung¡¯s reputation is one thing, but what about yours? I¡¯ve already sent out the invitations to my guests. Now, four weeks before the wedding, you want me to tell them it¡¯s canceled? Do you think that makes sense?¡±


    ¡°Mother. I¡¯ve checked with assistant Yoon,¡± Lee JiHan said. ¡°He told me that the invitations are set to go out the day after tomorrow.


    My eyes grew wide as I stared at him. ¡°Really?¡±


    Lee JiHan nodded. Not expecting that at all, I looked to Lee JiHan¡¯s mother with surprised eyes. She was ring at Lee JiHan.


    ¡°It¡¯s because I¡¯ve personally handed out invitations to some of my guests,¡± she said.


    ¡°Is that so? Then what can we do. For your reputation¡¯s sake, we¡¯ll have to go through with the wedding,¡± Lee JiHan nonchntly said. ¡°Truthfully, I¡¯ve been thinking that it would be such a waste to cancel that wedding. The date and venue was set, studio, dress, makeup. Everything was reserved. Even your schedule was left open for that day.¡±


    I looked at Lee JiHan in disbelief. What is he saying? Canceling our wedding was a waste?


    Lee JiHan crossed his arms and chicly stared down his mother. ¡°Since the wedding is all set, let¡¯s just go through with it. From Lee JiKyung to Lee JiHan, we only have to change one letter from the groom¡¯s name.¡±


    ¡°What?!¡±


    ¡°What?!¡±


    Both me and his mother screamed. Lee JiHan didn¡¯t even flinch and answered the both of us. ¡°You can just tell them there was an error on the invitation. It was supposed to be Lee JiHan but one of the letters got misprinted and came out as Lee JiKyung. If you insist on it, people will just go along with it.¡±


    Is he telling me to walk down the aisle, which was originally meant to be with JiKyung, and instead walk it with him?!

 Chapter 46

    <h4>Chapter 46</h4>


    Whether his mother approved of it or not, I was against it. I stood up to argue.


    ¡°But what about friends?¡± I asked ¡°JiKyung¡¯s friends would have known that JiKyung was marrying me that day! What are you going to do about them?¡±


    Lee JiHan looked up at me and replied, ¡°Why would I invite my brother¡¯s friends to my wedding? He can just call them and let them know the wedding is canceled.¡±


    ¡°Then... What about my friends?¡± I asked. ¡°My friends think I¡¯m getting married to JiKyung.¡±


    ¡°If they are friends that can¡¯t understand true love, then don¡¯t invite them,¡± Lee JiHan simply said and turned back to his mother.


    Wow, I... How did I end up with... I was at a loss for words. My mind was drawing a nk.


    In front of a bbergasted me, Lee JiHan announced his resolution to his mother. ¡°The wedding that was set for four weeks from now will not be canceled. Instead, we will let everyone know it was just an error. Then, you will not have to besmirch your reputation, and I can get married to Na AhJung.¡±


    ¡°But, even if I tell everyone that it was an error, I¡¯ve already told people that JiKyung was getting married,¡± his mother said. ¡°They will definitely think something is strange...¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s be truthful. You only told assistant Yoon,¡± Lee JiHan coldly said interrupting his mother.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve seen the list of people you were nning to send the invitation to, and it barely ounted for more than 10 people,¡± he said. ¡°All your potential guests seem to be on it. Plus, you didn¡¯t even have time to meet me up until yesterday, so I doubt you had time to personally hand any invitations out. Your schedule didn¡¯t reflect you meeting any of them either. Fortunately, assistant Yoon is good at holding his tongue, so what exactly is the problem?¡±


    Lee JiHan¡¯s mother frowned at Lee JiHan¡¯s question and pressed her fingers against her temple. But, he didn¡¯t stop talking.


    ¡°The wedding that was meant for my brother can just be transferred over to me. Why are you so obsessed with trying to get Na AhJung married to my brother?¡± Lee JiHan suspiciously asked. ¡°Breaking off an engagement isn¡¯t even that serious these days. And, it¡¯s not like you¡¯ve been telling people about my brother¡¯s wedding. Why are you being so sensitive about this whole thing?¡±


    Listening to all this, it did seem a bit strange to be so against a broken engagement.


    Lee JiHan¡¯s mother continued pressing on her temple. With her eyes closed, she spoke in a cold voice. ¡°Stop this, Lee JiHan.¡±


    She opened her eyes. Her sudden cold expression made me flinch in fear. She had always been so kind and warm to me. Seeing her like this for the first time made me feel as if I was looking at apletely different person. I trembled as I slowly sat back down.


    ¡°It¡¯s because I love your brother to the point where I don¡¯t want a single blemish on any aspect of his life,¡± she said in an icy tone to Lee JiHan. She then turned to me. ¡°AhJung, you. All right, the broken engagement with JiKyung. I can¡¯t do anything about that. I¡¯ll ept it.¡±


    ¡°Thank you for understanding,¡± I said. ¡°And, I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    Scared, I kept my head down and tried to ry my regret. Before I could even lift my head, I heard her chilling voice continue. ¡°But, you can¡¯t get married to JiHan.¡±


    I flinched and raised my head. She stood up from her seat.


    ¡°My brother already gave us permission to do this,¡± Lee JiHan said. ¡°We are going to tell my brother¡¯s acquaintances that there are two different people with the name Na AhJung so there will be no damage to his or my reputation. There aren¡¯t a lot of people that know this girl is the same one my brother was going to marry. I can handle everything.¡±


    ¡°Lee JiHan. This is not your brother¡¯s problem,¡± she told Lee JiHan staring down at him. Her gaze was that of someone putting an inferior being in their ce. ¡°Regardless of everything. AhJung is not right for you.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Lee JiHan frowned not able to believe his ears.


    ¡°All those things youined about when your brother was going to marry her and now you decide to bring me a daughter inw like her?¡± she asked.


    ¡°Mother!¡±


    ¡°Our household is not a normal household. Our name is on the line. These are all the things you said,¡± she said. ¡°I¡¯m going to return them back to you exactly as you did. Are you really going to shame our reputation like this? You of all people should know how pathetic AhJung¡¯s background is.¡±


    My hands shook so badly at these words that I squeezed them together on myp. It didn¡¯t really help since my knees were shaking just as badly.


    Lee JiHan¡¯s voice did not seem to be shaking at all. ¡°When I said those things, what did you say to me? I have no intention to sell the seat of my daughter-inw. Whoever the girl may be, if you two are in love, then I will be OK with it. Why the sudden change in attitude?¡± He was doing his best to control his anger. ¡°I expected you to be against our rtionship because Na AhJung was supposed to get married to my brother. I¡¯ve made arrangements for all that. even if I was to deal with all of that, you are saying that it¡¯s Na AhJung¡¯s background that is getting in the way. That doesn¡¯t make sense.¡±


    Lee JiHan observed his mother coldly. It was as if he was trying to deduce every small change in her expression. ¡°When Na AhJung was going to marry my brother, you didn¡¯t once mention your problem with her background.¡±


    HIs mother replied simply at Lee JiHan¡¯s critique. ¡°You and your brother are different. As each child¡¯s personality is different, a parent¡¯s expectations per child will be different. What I expect from you is different from what I expect from your brother. So, for your partner, AhJung will not do.¡±


    Her furious eyes bounced over to me. With a quiet, yet sophisticated voice, she told me, ¡°There¡¯s not much more to say, so let¡¯s end it here. I hope we won¡¯t be seeing each other anymore. I don¡¯t know what I would do if I do see you again.¡±


    She gave me a slight smile. Her lips may have been smiling, but her eyes were not.


    My breath got caught in my throat. I watched Lee JiHan¡¯s mother unable to either speak or breathe. She turned away her gaze from me and swiftly headed toward the door.


    As she was about to pass Lee JiHan, he coldly said to her, ¡°Mother. You know, don¡¯t you?¡±


    His voice was foreboding. What does he think his mother knows? I looked at Lee JiHan feeling that this was a pivotal moment. His mother stopped and looked down at him.


    Lee JiHan was on the receiving end of both of our stares, but he ignored it and looked straight ahead. With certainty in his voice, he asked again, ¡°Mother, you know JiKyung is gay, don¡¯t you?¡±


    At Lee JiHan¡¯s out-of-the-blue response, my mind went nk. How could he tell her that JiKyung is gay? And, to his mother of all people! My body froze in shock.


    His mother¡¯s voice sounded just as perturbed. ¡°You... How do you... know...¡±


    I turned my head upon hearing her utter those words. His mother eyed Lee JiHan with bulging eyes and trembling lips.


    ¡°You... You also knew this?¡± I hesitantly asked.


    She didn¡¯t seem to hear me and continued staring at Lee JiHan. He turned his head toward his mother and sharply said, ¡°That¡¯s why you allowed this. You knew that my brother was gay and needed a girl to hide it. That¡¯s why you approved of this girl marrying him so easily. And, that¡¯s the reason you are so against her breaking off the engagement. You needed to marry off my brother to someone, and there was no one safer than Na AhJung. You¡¯ve seen her since she was a child and knew that she would be an easy target to use for your own benefit.¡±


    Lee JiHan momentarily halted the conversation and turned to me. ¡°Na AhJung, could you step out for a moment?¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want you to hear the rest of this conversation.¡± Lee JiHan got up from his seat and held my hand.


    As he helped me up, an icy voice interrupted us. ¡°Forget it. She¡¯s heard enough already. She can stay to hear the rest.¡±


    When we both turned to look at his mother, she had returned to her straightenedposure. ¡°Everyone here seems to already know about JiKyung¡¯s condition, so what¡¯s the point of hiding it? Yes. I assumed that even if AhJung found out about JiKyung being gay, she wouldn¡¯t do anything about it. Even if I was to find an appropriate match for JiKyung, the moment she found out he was gay, she would run out on him. AhJung on the other hand? She knows her ce and will stay with him regardless. With her background, she would be thankful for being able to live with the mere shell of JiKyung. She doesn¡¯t even have her own proper family, so where would she go.¡±


    ¡°Mother!¡± Lee JiHan was having a hard time staying in control.


    ¡°That was the extent of her purpose,¡± his mother said. ¡°How dare she even think that she is a suitable match for you!¡±


    The loud sound hurt my ears, but it didn¡¯t hurt as much as it did my heart. I had thought JiKyung and I had been fooling his mother. So, I always had a guilty conscience and felt sorry toward her. I had thought that it was a simple white lie to give her peace.


    But, his mother had been acting on her end. She knew my situation all too well, and she used it to protect JiKyung. I couldn¡¯t speak because my heart hurt so badly.


    She turned viciously toward me. ¡°AhJung, I¡¯ve already had to say this much, so I¡¯m assuming you understand what¡¯s going on. You¡¯re not going to continue with this nonsense are you? I¡¯llpensate you fully for this issue with JiKyung, so just keep your mouth shut and live with him. And, JiHan...¡±


    I couldn¡¯t hear the rest of the words. Lee JiHan ced his hands over my ears. I was left staring at his mother mouthing silent words.


    I didn¡¯t know if it was because she had said she had wanted to or if she was just so bbergasted, but her mouth stopped moving. Only then did Lee JiHan remove his hands from my ears and ce them on my back.


    ¡°If you continued to disprove of this wedding, then I won¡¯t marry Na AhJung,¡± he said.


    I stiffened at the unexpected deration. His mother didn¡¯t seem to believe it either. She observed Lee JiHan carefully.


    ¡°Now that Na AhJung knows what you think of her life, I can¡¯t in good conscience ask her to marry me even if you granted us permission,¡± he said. ¡°I would only be able to go through with it if you begged us to get married. A wedding that you disprove of? I won¡¯t beg you to go through with it. So, if you disprove, then I won¡¯t marry Na AhJung. No, I can¡¯t. But, disprove with caution. Because I won¡¯t marry or do anything with any other girl.¡±


    Lee JiHan dropped his hands from my shoulders and wrapped his arms around them. ¡°Look carefully. This girl is the one girl I will get married to, and the only girl that will allow me to continue the family line.¡±


    His mother looked at Lee JiHan with her eyes round in disbelief. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°My brother is gay, and I won¡¯t meet any girl unless it¡¯s this one,¡± he replied. ¡°Then, this is the end of the line for our family.¡±


    ¡°Lee JiHan!¡± Even at her yelling, not even one of Lee JiHan¡¯s fingers twitched.


    ¡°I gave up my dream for you, but it won¡¯t matter what you do now,¡± he said with all seriousness. ¡°If you continue to go against this girl, I¡¯m going to dere celibacy.¡±


    ¡°What?!¡± Celibacy?! I spun around in shock.


    Lee JiHan red at his mother with an intense expression and threw out onest shot. ¡°I do what I say. I¡¯m insane, a nutcase, a ticking time bomb.¡±


    I feel like I¡¯ve heard this somewhere before... No, I¡¯ve said this before...


    ¡°Disprove if you want, and I¡¯ll give up marriage,¡± he said. ¡°If you are going to give us permission, then apologize to this girl and ask her politely to please marry your son.¡±


    Lee JiHan looked like a person who wouldn¡¯t bleed a drop if he were stabbed.


    Uh... But, why is my heart starting to heat up...


    The rising heat from my heart seemed to be melting the pain it had felt earlier. Maybe because the fear had disappeared with it, I followed Lee JiHan and turned my gaze to his mother. I ced my hand over his hand on my shoulder.


    Looking in the same direction as Lee JiHan, we both waited for the answer. I now believed that there was nothing that was impossible.


    ***


    There really was nothing that was impossible. Still, I had not expected it to be possible to get married within four weeks. But, here I was, sitting in the bridal suite.


    I sat there numbly wearing the same wedding dress that was hanging in my closet and thought back to the past four weeks.


    The y they had sponsored wasn¡¯t set to be finished for a few months, and Lee JiHan would be leaving for America in a month¡¯s time, returning several monthster. He had asked me for a reason not to get married when we were in such a situation the moment I had received both an apology and permission for the marriage.


    He had said, ¡°I¡¯m saying that we should go live in America after we get married. You can learn English there and watch Broadway ys. After a few months, we can return back to Korea when your y is ready. The timing is perfect. So, what are you hesitating for? This wedding is the best option.¡±


    After hearing Lee JiHan¡¯s exnation, I couldn¡¯t find a reason to be against this wedding. So, I had nodded in agreement.


    I don¡¯t know how time had gone by after that. We had our parents meet again with Lee JiHan this time. We announced that the invitations had been a printing error. Then, there were studio photographs.


    I had gone out of my mind nning the wedding. When the nning was done and I was finally able to wrap my head around everything, I found myself now sitting in a wedding dress with five minutes left to go before the wedding.


    It was an immensely private and small ceremony, so the bridal suite was empty. Inparison to our tiny guest list, the ceremony hall was incredibly big.


    ¡°AhJung!¡±


    I had been lost in my thoughts for a while when the sudden sound made me look forward. I saw HeeKyung walking towards me.


    ¡°What happened? Isn¡¯t the groom, the man that was supposed to be your future brother-inw out there?¡± she asked.


    I realized the time hade for me to face it, so I smiled awkwardly and answered her calmly. ¡°I told you my groom got switched.¡±


    ¡°Well, I didn¡¯t expect that to be your future brother-inw,¡± HeeKyung replied.


    ¡°Well... After a lot of interesting scenarios, it sort of just happened,¡± I said. ¡°I was hoping to give you the revised invitation personally and exin the situation, but you weren¡¯t avable until today. So, I couldn¡¯t let you know beforehand.¡±


    Cold sweat was running down my back but I squeezed my bouquet tight and continued. ¡°So, what happened was...¡±


    ¡°I built a bridge between the two of them.¡±


    HeeKyung and I turned our heads toward the interrupting voice. JiKyung was standing a few steps away from us.


    ¡°As we were preparing for the wedding, we found that we weren¡¯t a good fit for each other, but those two seemed to be well matched so I yed matchmaker,¡± JiKyung said naturally as he walked toward me. He stood in front of me and put out his hand. ¡°It¡¯s almost time for the bride to enter.¡±


    ¡°Oh, already?¡±


    Feeling rushed, I hurriedly grabbed JiKyung¡¯s hand and stood up. As I followed him, I remembered HeeKyung and looked at her. She stared at us both curiously. There was no suspicion or reproach.


    JiKyung led me to the closed doors of the ceremony entrance. With our hands held, we waited for the announcement of the bridal entrance. Nervous, I swallowed dryly.


    ¡°You¡¯re probably the first bride to enter the wedding ceremony with her brother-inw,¡± JiKyung joked to lessen my nervousness.


    A smallugh escaped me. I gratefully looked into JiKyung¡¯s eyes. ¡°Thank you. Truthfully, I thought it would be weird going into the ceremony holding my father¡¯s hand. My father said he didn¡¯t want to do it either. When you told me you wanted to, I was so thankful.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m doing this so you can befortable,¡± JiKyung said with a shrug. ¡°You could have ended up being the happiest girl who wouldn¡¯t be loved by her husband because of me, so I think it is appropriate that I lead you to be the happiest girl who will be very much loved by her husband.¡±


    As if this was the most natural thing in the world, he smiled sweetly. Finally, the doors slowly opened. At the same time, JiKyung and I turned our heads to the front. Inside, the bridal wedding march started to y.


    Still facing forward, JiKyung whispered so only I could hear, ¡°Tell me the truth. Aren¡¯t you embarrassed that your groom¡¯s hair is gold?¡±


    Facing forward, I replied with a smile, ¡°I wanted it that way.¡±


    We started the procession. I suppressed the desire to run forward. Lee JiHan was sparkling and waiting for me. There was nothing more I wanted to do than run to him.

 Chapter 47

    <h4>Chapter 47</h4>


    It was a day filled with firsts. Getting married, riding an airne, spending a night in the sky...


    Still unable to believe this new experience, I stered my forehead on the ne window and looked out at the night sky. I was floating in the sky and was a part of it.


    It all felt like a dream. I finally pried myself away from the window and turned my head. The most unbelievable thing I¡¯ve ever experienced caught my eye. It was none other than Lee JiHan.


    He was sitting next to me with his arms crossed and eyes closed, not moving an inch. Watching him in light of the darkened sky, Lee JiHan¡¯s hair seemed to sparkle like a golden star in the night sky.


    This man is my husband...


    This was the most incredible thing. Unable to believe it, I reached out my hand and slightly grazed it across Lee JiHan¡¯s cheek.


    The moment my fingers touched him, he opened his eyes. ¡°What are you doing not sleeping?¡±


    ¡°Oh, weren¡¯t you asleep?¡± I asked in surprise, removing my hands from him.


    Lee JiHan turned his head and looked into my eyes. Unlike his hardened voice, his eyes were soft. ¡°I wasn¡¯t asleep. I was just thinking with my eyes closed.¡±


    ¡°Thinking? Thinking of what?¡± I asked.


    ¡°I was going through a preliminary practice in my head,¡± he replied.


    ¡°Of what?¡± I asked.


    ¡°I¡¯ll let you know at the hotel tomorrow. So, my AhJung should sleep some more in the ne,¡± Lee JiHan insisted as he gave me a peck on the cheek. ¡°With a tired AhJung, I can¡¯t do the things I am imagining in my preliminary practice round.¡±


    My eyes shed open at his hinting. Is he thinking about what I think he¡¯s thinking about?


    ¡°I, I¡¯ll sleep! Right now! I¡¯m going to sleep until wend!¡±


    I pulled the nket that was resting on my knees up to my neck with the determination to sleep until the second before it was to happen. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to sleep.


    Drawing the night sky filled with stars in my head, I counted. One star, two stars...


    ***


    After 12 hours on the ne, we arrived in Las Vegas. Even though I had stepped foot for the first time on foreign soil, I had lost all excitement regarding it.


    Who cares about foreign soil? I¡¯m about to step foot on Lee JiHan¡¯s first December snow. I wouldn¡¯t care if I just stepped onto alien soil right now.


    The rising expectation made it impossible to look at anything. The entire time we were heading to the hotel, there wasn¡¯t a single thing that caught my attention from outside the car window.


    I was able to gather that the city was extremely big and mboyant. What does that matter? Why are there so many cars? As I watched the sun setting, I imagined myself running out of the car to the hotel about a million times.


    Lee JiHan, on the other hand, sat without a word, drinking water with a frozen expression. He looked like a nervous athlete before a big game.


    When we arrived at the hotel, the sun had already set. Normally, he would have shown me around the hotel or told me why he chose this ce. Without a single word, he grabbed my hand and walked hastily to the lobby.


    Yes, I can find out about all those things tomorrow. No, I really don¡¯t need to know any of that stuff forever.


    Practically running, I power walked next to Lee JiHan toward the lobby. When we arrived at the door of our room, he hurriedly unlocked it. I was trying to catch my breath when his lips locked on me as the door swung open.


    Lee JiHan¡¯s lips were so hot that it forced me to close my eyes, but I didn¡¯t back away. At the same time, he wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up. Instinctively, I hugged his shoulder and wrapped my legs around his waist.


    I kissed him passionately floating in the air until I felt my butt touch the top of the bed. My waist and back slowly slid on top of it. Thest thing that would have fallen onto the bed, which was my head, did not make contact. Instead, it fell into Lee JiHan¡¯s palm as he embraced it. I inhaled his steamy breath as I shared mine with him.


    Lee JiHan lifted my dress with one hand from my thigh to above my waist. His hand crept upward until it was just below my breast. He stopped kissing me and removed his lips slightly from mine. I opened my eyes and saw him staring down at me. His breathtakingly handsome face filled my sight.


    Usually most people look quite ugly at this angle. There is never a single moment this man doesn¡¯t look gorgeous, is there...


    As I watched him entranced, Lee JiHan looked me in the eyes as he said, ¡°Lift your arms straight over your head.¡±


    As I lifted my arms up, the hand that had stopped at my waist started to move again. Still holding the ends of my dress, his hands traveled quickly toward my breast. Consequently, the dress swept across my stomach, tickling me.


    When Lee JiHan¡¯s hand touched my breast, his other hand, which was behind my head, started to move. He lifted my head slightly and removed my dress.


    ¡°Uh? Are we starting like this? Without washing up?¡± I asked with surprise, thinking back to hispulsiveness for cleanliness.


    He frowned as he asked me in return, ¡°Do you really want to wash up now?¡±


    ¡°Ah, no! Of course not!¡± I really didn¡¯t.


    ¡°Me neither. That¡¯s not important right now,¡± he answered with his eyes aze.


    It was as if his lust had erased his OCD. Looking at me lying there in just my underwear, he started to unbutton his shirt. I watched in amazement at his fast moving fingers. Upon realizing something, I started to move my fingers also.


    As I unhooked my bra, Lee JiHan gave up on unbuttoning his shirt and just ripped the entire thing off. The remaining couple buttons flew off and dropped to the floor. He didn¡¯t pay it much attention and threw his shirt off.


    I had been removing the straps off my shoulder when I froze in awe at the scene in front of me. If was the second time I¡¯ve seen it, but Lee JiHan¡¯s abs had grown more refined since then.


    Ah... Ah... Ah...


    Even as the sight in front of me made my mind a blur, I felt Lee JiHan slip off my strap and thest bit of fabric on the lower half of my body. He quickly took off the rest of his clothes. Seeing a part of his body I had never seen before, I gasped.


    ¡°Uh, wait! Wait! Stop!¡± I pushed away Lee JiHan¡¯s approaching chest.


    He stopped his motion and asked. ¡°What is it?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s, how could...¡± I was suddenly scared that I shook my head vigorously. ¡°Ah, I can¡¯t do it! I can¡¯t!¡±


    I turned my body away and tried to escape from the bed. Lee JiHan grabbed my shoulder andid me back down. He wouldn¡¯t continue without my permission would he? I looked him in the eyes but saw that he was smiling down at me as if this was adorable.


    ¡°I knew you would do this. There¡¯s no way this scaredy cat girl would not give up in the middle. I thought it was strange you even went this far,¡± Lee JiHan said in a breezy tone.


    ¡°Oh, if you knew then you shouldn¡¯t have started... Why did you make me follow you all the way here? If you knew I was going to surrender, this just makes me embarrassed...¡±


    Like a fish caught in a, I thrashed around in Lee JiHan¡¯s arms.


    His expression changed to that of disappointment. ¡°Do you still not know how I am?¡±


    ¡°What?¡± I stopped thrashing wondering what he meant.


    He lowered his body and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. With his chest on mine, he whispered in my ear, ¡°The reason I started even though I knew you would surrender was because I was confident I could make you change your mind.¡±


    ¡°I, I¡¯m not confident though?¡± I asked.


    ¡°My AhJung is afraid it will hurt, so you¡¯ve lost your confidence,¡± he said.


    It was the truth I had been thinking. I nodded in agreement.


    ¡°I¡¯m confident I can continue without hurting you, so trust me and let¡¯s keep going,¡± Lee JiHan said.


    This statement also felt like the truth. My heart wanted to trust him even without any reason to do so.


    He lifted his head and faced me. As if engraving the trust into my head, he continued in a serious voice.


    ¡°For 28 years, I¡¯ve left myself in the state of December¡¯s first snow. Today is the day my wife will first step foot on it. To make sure you will get there safely and without getting hurt, I have prepared for everything.¡± Lee JiHan exined all this in a sincere tone. He observed my eyes as if waiting for my permission. ¡°But even so, if at some point it does hurt, you can just tell me. If my AhJung says it hurts even a little, I will stop immediately.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re really going to stop if I say it hurts?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Was there ever a time I didn¡¯t keep my promise?¡± he replied.


    At Lee JiHan¡¯s answer, I no longer had anything to worry about. This man had never broken a promise. He protected his December¡¯s first snow for 28 years, so what could he possibly not be able to protect?


    ¡°Then let¡¯s do it. Let¡¯s try. Without it hurting me,¡± I said.


    I¡¯ll just have to see how non painful he can make it. I clenched my fists bravely.


    The moment I granted him permission, Lee JiHan smiled brightly. As if trying to make his smile contagious, he smothered those lips on top of mine.


    His next movements were careful and heartfelt. Until my fists unclenched and the anxiety from my body left me, Lee JiHan softly touched me to make me melt.


    Even though it felt like I was in a scary abandoned building where something was bound to jump out at me, I put my trust in him and slowly opened the door to the unknown so that he could arrive at the ce where nothing had ever touched it before.


    ***


    When I woke up and opened my eyes, the first sight I saw was Lee JiHan¡¯s face. We must have not moved because we were in the same position as when we fell asleep. Both of us were facing each other as the morning sun hit us.


    Lee JiHan wore a serene expression. It was as if he was having the sweetest dream. I swept my fingers across his face. Ah... My husband.


    I couldn¡¯t believe the face yesterday, but it finally felt like a reality. At the same time, it made me feel secure. I had felt like I had been wandering and finally arrived home. Theforting thought made sleep wash over me.


    As my eyes grew heavy, I snuggled up close to my husband. That very moment, my happy dream started to unfold.

 Chapter 48

    <h4>Chapter 48</h4>


    When I opened my eyes again, Lee JiHan was looking at me with his eyes open. Instead of the morning sun, his face was painted with the colors of the sunset.


    Oh my, it¡¯s night! I shot up suddenly wide awake, but he pulled me back down. I looked up at Lee JiHan.


    ¡°You can¡¯t get up now,¡± he said.


    ¡°Oh, why didn¡¯t you wake me?¡± I asked.


    Even though I looked at him in resentment, he answered back sweetly, ¡°I knew my AhJung would not have adjusted to the time difference, and we didn¡¯t get to sleep until early morning. I didn¡¯t think it would be a good day to go out. That¡¯s why I didn¡¯t wake you.¡±


    ¡°But still! We only get three days on our honeymoon,¡± I protested. ¡°We can¡¯t just sleep all day! We have to do something!¡±


    We only had a three-day honeymoon. We didn¡¯t have much choice with Lee JiHan¡¯s school schedule. The reason we chose Las Vegas as our destination was because it was too long of a ne ride from his New York university. I didn¡¯t have any issues with the choice we had, but I wanted to get as much from the trip as possible given the time restraints.


    Lee JiHan calmly shook his head. ¡°We cane to Las Vegas again next time. It¡¯s not far, so we cane next weekend if we wanted to. Let¡¯s not overwork ourselves and just rest. We can sightseeter.¡±


    ¡°But, it¡¯s still our honeymoon,¡± I replied. ¡°If we are just going to sleep in our hotel room, why did wee all the way to Las Vegas?¡±


    ¡°We came to this hotel room to spend our first night together,¡± Lee JiHan said.


    ¡°Hotels are all the same. This one¡¯s no different...¡± I was replying rather apathetically when I caught a glimpse of the room around the bed.


    This guy! This isn¡¯t a room! It¡¯s a house?!


    My eyes had only been for Lee JiHan all night, so I had not been able to appreciate my surroundings. The walls were so far from my feet. It was a mystery as to why they bothered to put a TV that far away. If you turn that on, could you even see the screen? Wait, is it just audio?


    Next to the television were two doors that opened into...


    ¡°There¡¯s not another room back there, is there?¡± I asked in awe pointing to the room.


    ¡°That¡¯s the living room. There is another room beyond that point,¡± Lee JiHan replied nonchntly.


    ¡°But, it¡¯s just the two of us here! Why do we need another room!¡± I yelled looking at Lee JiHan in disbelief.


    He replied back with a voice as calm as his expression. ¡°Because it¡¯s our first night.¡±


    ¡°What on our first night? Were you nning to use separate rooms?!¡±


    I lifted myself up flustered, but Lee JiHan pushed me back down again and said, ¡°By my standards, this is the best hotel and room in Las Vegas.¡±


    I was thinking about how random his exnation seemed to be.


    He said, ¡°That¡¯s why I reserved this ce. My dream was to spend my first night in the best hotel, in the best room.¡±


    Like the flipping of a coin, my thoughts about the room switched. I was able to calm down. Oh... That¡¯s his reasoning.


    With a new understanding, I looked around the interior of the room. He chose this ce because he wanted the best first night. I wanted to look at it in more detail and remember every little thing for a long time.


    There was a limit to how much I could see lying down, so I pointed to the living room and said, ¡°Then I want to go see that room too.¡±


    I pulled myself up, but Lee JiHan pulled me back down again. ¡°I think I already told you that you can¡¯t get up yet.¡±


    ¡°Oh, it¡¯s not like I¡¯m walking around outside, just the living room. Do you really think I can¡¯t even do that?¡± I asked.


    ¡°If you get up, your back and muscles are going to hurt,¡± Lee JiHan said as if he was certain of the fact.


    ¡°How would you know that?¡± I asked.


    ¡°I learned it from a wife specialist,¡± he matter-of-factly stated.


    ¡°What?¡± His response seemed unbelievable.


    ¡°I learned it so I will know how to take care of my wife,¡± Lee JiHan said. ¡°The wedding was a bit rushed, so I didn¡¯t get to learn a lot though.¡±


    No wonder our first night together was so perfect. Who would have thought he would put in this kind of effort?


    I was surprised and touched. On the other hand, I felt guilty. Maybe I should have visited the Ob/Gyn....


    I was reflecting on myck of effort when Lee JiHan said, ¡°Anyways, you can¡¯t get up and walk around right now.¡±


    ¡°Did they say that it will hurt to the point I can¡¯t walk around?¡± I asked. ¡°If it¡¯s not that bad, I think I can carefully walk around a little bit.¡±


    ¡°Even if it¡¯s not that much, you still can¡¯t,¡± he said. ¡°If your body remembers the moment as it hurting afterward, it will not want to do it anymore. Don¡¯t feel the aches by getting up and just stay still. I¡¯ll get whatever you need for you.¡±


    Lee JiHan wrapped my body in the nket. Cradling me like a baby he slowly lifted me. ¡°You seem to be curious about that room over there, so I¡¯ll take you to see it.¡±


    As if there wasn¡¯t anything he wouldn¡¯t do for me, he walked toward the room I wanted to see. Without a single tremor, his strong arms supported me. I wasfortably able to look around the room without any pain. Two rooms, two bathrooms, one living room with a bar, a spa room with a massage table, and a balcony with a table on it.


    As we looked around the 150-square-foot room, Lee JiHan never lost the happy expression on his face. He never onceined that he was tired.


    ***


    When are they going to make a machine that washes you without you having to lift a finger? Every time I came back from a hard day, I wondered this as I dragged myself into the shower. There were smartphones and artificial intelligence. There were all these technological innovations, yet no one had thought to make that.


    Instead of a machine, I got a husband?


    From head to toe, without me having to lift a finger, I sat there mesmerized as he washed me. My husband was doing what technological innovation could not.


    Lee JiHan moved relentlessly as I sat there amazed. He ced a gown over my refreshed body, dried my wet hair, and carried me over to the table at the balcony. On the balcony table was the dinner ordered from room service.


    Feeling the Las Vegas wind against my skin and watching the glittering lights of the city, I ate a wonderful meal that melted my tongue, as well as my heart.


    After dinner, we enjoyed tea time. We then moved to the spa room. Lee JiHan sat me down on the massage table. The lights in the room were soft as if we were in a luxurious spa salon. This room allowed for ordering a massage from room service.


    Did he order that too? Anticipating this, I looked around the spa room. Lee JiHan stood in front of me and slowly took off my gown.


    ¡°Oh, why?¡± I jumped in shock and reflexively covered my chest.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to massage you to rx your tense muscles,¡± Lee JiHan answered as he put a box on the table.


    The box he put next to me had three bottles of aroma oil. Lee JiHan picked up one of them, opened it, and ced it under my nose. ¡°Smell all three and tell me which one you like the most. I will massage you with the one you choose.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re going to personally do it? The massage?¡± I asked, not believing my ears.


    Lee JiHan looked straight into my eyes and said in an obvious tone, ¡°Nobody knows better than me what position you were in, for how long, and for what reason. So, the only person who can relieve those aches would be me. Hence I will be doing it.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to... No, don¡¯t. I want to get it from someone else,¡± I said.


    Lee JiHan frowned as I shook my head. ¡°You think somebody else¡¯s touch will feel better? You experienced it yesterday, and you didn¡¯t enjoy it?¡±


    I shook my head frantically at his suspicious expression toward me. ¡°Oh, no! It¡¯s not that! I¡¯m just afraid you might be tired. Aren¡¯t you tired?¡±


    It wasn¡¯t an excuse. I was actually curious. Lee JiHan stared at me as if he didn¡¯t understand what I was talking about.


    ¡°Mister, you were on the airne for 12 hours just like me, which was the first time for you too,¡± I exined. ¡°And, as we had our first night, you did all the moving while I was lying down. Mister, there¡¯s no way you aren¡¯t tired. Shouldn¡¯t you be the one receiving the massage?¡±


    As I said this, Lee JiHan¡¯s frowning face softened. He spoke to me with a smile on his face. ¡°Then and now, I¡¯m moving because I like it. It¡¯s something I¡¯m doing being I like it, so how could it be tiring?¡±


    Moving because he likes it.... My thoughts went back to the movements I feltst night. He moved that way because he liked it. My face started to burn.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure you dedicated some of those hours as a sort of volunteering service to me trying to loosen up my nerves so it wouldn¡¯t hurt,¡± I softly replied.


    ¡°That was not volunteer service,¡± he said. ¡°I wanted to touch you and kiss you. It was a treat for my hands and lips.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± I curiously asked. ¡°I thought it was just a treat for me!¡±


    Lee JiHan smiled ear to ear at myment. He put the aroma bottle closer to my nose. ¡°It was a dual treat. Hurry up and choose a scent so I can treat my hands again while massaging you.¡±


    ¡°Oh, all right! All right!¡±


    I was so happy, I inhaled the scent near my nose. With my hand, I grabbed the other aroma oil bottle. I hurriedly popped the cap open and turned my nose to it so I could treat my body and Lee JiHan can treat his hands.


    Choosing the scent I liked, I handed the bottle to him. Lee JiHan took the bottle and asked, ¡°Are you going to keep calling me Mister? We¡¯re married now.¡±


    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s right,¡± I said. ¡°What should I call you?¡±


    ¡°Whatever you decide to call me, I want it to be different from what you called me before,¡± he said. ¡°We¡¯re family now, so don¡¯t call me the same thing as when we were strangers.¡±


    JiHan¡¯s hand held mine and made my palm face the ceiling. He dropped a couple drops of the oil onto it. He made me rub the oil into my hands.


    What should I call him? Honey? Darling? Oh... It¡¯s so awkward.


    While I was contemting, JiHan moved my hands to my nose. ¡°Take in the scent and slowly breathe in deeply three times.¡±


    I did what he instructed me to do. With a rxed feeling, I said out loud what I felt in my heart. ¡°Can I just call you JiHan? I think that will be the mostfortable.¡±


    ¡°If that¡¯sfortable, then let¡¯s keep it as that,¡± he said. ¡°Because we¡¯re family now, it¡¯s better to change what we call each other to somethingfortable.¡±


    JiHan agreed to it easily and slowlyid me down on the bed. As my head touched the pillow, a curious thought popped into my mind. ¡°Uh, then, JiHan. Are you going to change the way you speak to me like you do for your brother and mother?¡±


    He looked down at me confused.


    ¡°It seems that you don¡¯t speak to your brother or your mother in the way you talk to me,¡± I said. ¡°You have a sort ofmanding tone of way of speaking to me. Now that I¡¯m family, are you going to change it? Like the way you speak to your brother or mother?¡±


    Lee JiHan looked like he fully understood and replied, ¡°You are family, but this is a different problem. My mother and brother have both seen me as a young child. I only met you when I was all grown up, so I don¡¯t want to look young to my wife. Truthfully, I used that kind of tone because I wanted to look more serious and formidable. After I started liking you, I used it because it felt more trustworthy and reliable. I kept up with this style of talking because I didn¡¯t want the girl who is the same age as my older brother to not feel like I¡¯m a man, that I¡¯m a child.¡±


    JiHan touched my cheek slightly, just enough to not wake a sleeping baby, with a soft touch.


    Oh... Now that I think about it, this man is five years younger than me.


    I felt like the massage was already starting. My body was melting with it. He was worrying about all sorts of things because he wanted me to love him.


    ¡°But, just because we got married, I don¡¯t want to change from a man to a child. I want to stay a man in your eyes even after being married.¡± JiHan leaned over and gave me a kiss.


    His lip movements felt like a part of the massage, so my body rxed with it.


    He removed his lips after a few moments and asked. ¡°Do you not like this tone? Do you want me to change it?¡±


    ¡°No, I want you to continue your way of talking and the reason behind it,¡± I replied. ¡°I don¡¯t want you to change it.¡±


    He seemed relieved at my answer and smiled with his eyes. Grabbing the oil bottle, he poured a couple drops into his hand and rubbed them together. With his warm and smooth hands, he massaged my body.


    I didn¡¯t know how this could be pleasurable to both of us, but my suspicions took a back seat as I enjoyed my own personal pleasure.

 Chapter 49

    <h4>Chapter 49</h4>


    The start of our dual pleasure was great. The middle was great. But the end was not.


    After the massage, I frowned as I was carried out of the spa room. Lee JiHan ced me on the bed different from where we werest night. Finally, he wrapped the front of my gown tight around me so it wouldn¡¯t fall open.


    ¡°Ah! Are you fanning the mes?¡± I spat out angrily.


    Lee JiHan just tightened the knot of my gown. ¡°I¡¯m extinguishing the mes.¡±


    ¡°Oh, why! Why! We¡¯re married now!¡± I protested. ¡°Doing this after marriage is like a campfire! You have to enjoy it together, why are you extinguishing it, why!¡±


    ¡°After a full recovery, we can enjoy it again,¡± he said.


    ¡°But I want to do it now!¡± I argued pounding my fists into the bed sheets.


    Lee JiHan covered my lips with his. His tongue slowly started to intertwine with mine.


    Oh... I want to do it more!


    As if an electric fan had been turned on over a fire, the fire inside me danced around uncontrobly. Like he had disconnected the electricity, the movement in my mouth stopped. Lee JiHan¡¯s lips fell away from mine.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but let¡¯s resist. We can¡¯t today,¡± Lee JiHan told me strictly andid down beside me.


    ¡°Why? I¡¯m saying it¡¯s OK!¡±


    Even at my insistence, Lee JiHan stayed lying straight in bed with the nket up to his neck. He turned off the light with the remote.


    As it went dark, I felt like ice water was tossed over me because I could feel Lee JiHan¡¯s determined will.


    ¡°Really... Are you really just going to sleep?¡± I poked Lee JiHan¡¯s shoulder with a glimmer of hope, but his body was as still as stone.


    ¡°Do you know how many women had to go get treatment at a hospital after their honeymoon?¡± he asked.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°With the wedding nning and a prolonged flight, they are already drained of energy,¡± he said. ¡°Then, they go overexert themselves. So, tonight we will sleep just holding hands.¡±


    Showing not the slightest hint ofpromising, Lee JiHan held my hand. With his other hand, he pushed the nket up to my neck.


    Ugh... Does he really expect me to go to nirvana just holding hands? I sighed as my expectations sizzled.


    He was protecting me, so I wouldn¡¯t overexert myself. So, why did I feel like he shoved me into a nunnery. I felt tearse to my eyes. I closed them and bit my lip, forcing myself to fall asleep. Just as I had done on the ne, I counted. One star, two stars...


    Oh... I could hear that moktak sound again. Maybe I should memorize the Buddhist chants too...


    ***


    Due to the immense service I received the day before, waking up the next morning was unbelievablyfortable. My thighs were still a little tense, but it wasn¡¯t much toin about. I moved around energetically to prove a point to Lee JiHan.


    Look at me. I¡¯m fine! We can do the campfire today! I repeated in my head as I circled around the bed.


    He had just woken up and looked at me with a please expression. ¡°Should we go Las Vegas sightseeing since our departure time is at night?¡±


    ¡°Uh, I thought we were doing the sightseeing another time?¡± I asked, not hearing the answer I was expecting.


    ¡°I said that thinking you¡¯ll still be tired today, but you seem to be in good condition,¡± he replied.


    ¡°No, not that!¡± I scuttled to the bed and sat in front of Lee JiHan. With desperate eyes I grabbed his arms. ¡°What we couldn¡¯t do yesterday, we can do today.¡±


    At my words, Lee JiHan¡¯s expression hardened. ¡°We can¡¯t do that today either.¡±


    ¡°Why? Look I¡¯m fine,¡± I said.


    ¡°We have to get on a ne and fly to New York,¡± Lee JiHan said. ¡°It will take six hours, so you¡¯re forbidden to do anything to overexert your body.¡±


    All the strength in my body left me. My mind drew a nk.


    ¡°Today... Today too...¡± I mumbled incoherently.


    Lee JiHan raised himself up and said, ¡°Really. Why are you like this? Like a person that has no tomorrow.¡±


    He grabbed my face with both hands and kissed me.


    ¡°There is a tomorrow?¡± I asked without hope or dreams. ¡°Mister... Do you just not want to do it with me?¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°You just don¡¯t want to do it with me, so you¡¯re making all these excuses, aren¡¯t you?¡±


    As I said thiscking confidence, Lee JiHan looked at me with a disbelieving expression.


    ¡°If it¡¯s not that, how could you be like this?¡± I asked. ¡°Other people say that they are the most passionate on their honeymoon. Like, the moment they make eye contact with each other electricity flies. How could you be a stone Buddha after one time?¡±


    Lee JiHan sat without a word, looking at me like someone with a lot on his mind. Finally, he spoke with a heavy voice. ¡°I¡¯m not a stone Buddha.¡±


    ¡°Then what are you? A gold Buddha?¡± I sarcastically asked.


    ¡°Gold or stone. If I was Buddha, there wouldn¡¯t be this raging fire inside me,¡± Lee JiHan said with his teeth clenched.


    ¡°What? Then, why are you holding back? Let¡¯s just do it,¡± I said.


    ¡°I asked the marriage counselor about this, and he told me that a bad experience in bed can mess up a marriage for a lifetime,¡± Lee JiHan replied. ¡°Like I told you yesterday, there¡¯s a lot of women that overexert themselves during their honeymoon and have to get treatment. That pain caused a trauma they couldn¡¯t shake off, and they developed a disorder against it.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Trauma. A disorder! I suddenly became scared after hearing about the seriousness of the possible damages that I haven¡¯t even known about.


    He folded his hands over mine and exined to me in a calm and soft voice. ¡°My AhJung got on a ne for the first time and stepped foot on foreign soil for the first time. You already have weak stamina, so your body will have difficulty coping with it all. If I think about all that, then I can resist the fire inside me a hundred more times. The December first snow that we are weing as husband and wife has just began. I don¡¯t want to dump ashes on it with negative and difficult memories.¡±


    I could understand where he wasing from. No, I understood itpletely. I was only thinking in the moment. This man was thinking far into the future, with forever in mind.


    After the realization, I agreed. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I didn¡¯t know... I was acting childish.¡±


    As I said this hanging my head, Lee JiHan raised my head back up and said, ¡°You can¡¯t go back on your word when we get to New York.¡±


    ¡°What? What word?¡± I asked in confusion.


    Lee JiHan repeated back what I said earlier word for word. ¡°Other people say that they are the most passionate on their honeymoon. Like, the moment they make eye contact with each other electricity flies. How could you be a stone Buddha after one time?¡±


    He added, ¡°I¡¯ve engraved those words into my head. You just wait until the honeymoon is over. We¡¯ll see if the honeymoon is the most passionate time. If that¡¯s the only time where our eyes meet and electricity flies, I won¡¯t have a reason to resist like a stone Buddha any longer.¡±


    Even though it was meant as a warning, I felt like I had tasted heaven. ¡°Ah, I wish tomorrow would hurry up ande! I want to go hurry up and go to New York!¡±


    Excited to start our new life as husband and wife in New York, I was unable to stay still and shot up. ¡°Oh, why is time going by so slowly? Why is it not tomorrow yet?¡± I paced back and forth next to the bed.


    Lee JiHan got up next to me and said, ¡°Let¡¯s go sightseeing. It¡¯ll make the time go faster. It will be much faster than us staying in the room.¡±


    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s a great idea! I love it! Let¡¯s do that!¡±


    At my nodding, Lee JiHanughed.


    ***


    On thest day of our honeymoon, we got out of our room and walked around the streets of Las Vegas.


    What if we lose our way? What do we do if we meet a robber with a gun?


    I would have been gued by such thoughts if it was the old me. Now, even though I was walking in a foreign ce, I had no worrying thoughts.


    Oh, even just walking around like this holding hands makes me so happy!


    I was drunk on this love. Consequently, everything in Las Vegas looked breathtakingly lovely. Even the dog feces rolling around the streets looked lovely. I thought nothing could break my happiness while we were roaming the streets of Las Vegas.


    But... In the middle of the casino, I stood next to the slot machine with arge paper cup in my hand sobbing. ¡°Oh, what do I do?¡±


    When I had entered the casino, this paper cup was filled with coins. I had pulled the handle of the slot machine without much thought and ended up emptying the entire cup.


    I couldn¡¯t remember how many rounds I had yed. If the entire cup of coins was gone, I must have yed a lot. Yet...


    ¡°Ah, why! Why can¡¯t I hit one jackpot? Why? Why only me?¡±


    I am sure I heard other people hit the jackpot around me! Everyone seemed to hit at least a small jackpot once!


    I jammed my head onto the slot machine wanting to throw a tantrum.


    ¡°If I knew this would happen, I shouldn¡¯t have started... With my luck, how could I even dream of hitting the jackpot... I just wasted all this money....¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s still one coin left,¡± Lee JiHan said to me as he held my shoulder. He took out the coin. ¡°You can win with this.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I can¡¯t. If I lose that then I¡¯ll have nothing? I don¡¯t want to, I want to keep that.¡± I shook my head.


    Lee JiHan replied back with certainty, ¡°You won¡¯t lose it.¡±


    Before I could stop him, Lee JiHan ced thest coin into the slot machine.


    ¡°Ah, that¡¯s...¡±


    I stretched out my hand a second toote. The coin fell into the machine with a clink. Lee JiHan grabbed my floating hand and ced it on the lever. He ced his hand over mine.


    ¡°OK, here we go.¡± He pulled the lever I was holding.


    ¡°Oh...¡±


    Lee JiHan pulled the lever two more times since it was the rule for the game. Just then, the slot machine spewed out coins loudly. Unbelievably, we had hit the jackpot.


    ¡°Huh, what is this? Howe we¡¯ve hit it now?!¡± I was so bbergasted that I forgot to be happy about hitting the jackpot. ¡°Howe when I pull it, it¡¯s a bust! And, when someone else pulls it once, it¡¯s a jackpot?!¡±


    I felt cheated as I thought about it. ¡°Why am I the only this doesn¡¯t work for?¡±


    Feeling discriminated against, I kicked the slot machine. Lee JiHan hugged me from behind. ¡°This is how lucky I am. Born with a golden spoon in my mouth, riding a golden carriage, forever surrounded by gold.¡±


    ¡°Are you making fun of me?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Self-PR time. I¡¯m this kind of man, so don¡¯t ever leave me,¡± he replied.


    Lee JiHan hugged me tighter. He sat down in the chair, which put me sitting on hisp. He hung on to me with his chin propped on my shoulder and whispered in my ear, ¡°I might be the only one with the golden spoon in my mouth, but I¡¯ll make sure to ride the golden carriage with you. I¡¯ll make sure the rest of your life is surrounded in gold.¡±


    Oh... Why was I mad at the slot machine?


    I tossed the paper cup in my hand to the floor with no attachment and turned my body to face Lee JiHan. As the coins nged as it hit the metal, my lips hit Lee JiHan¡¯s.


    What more can I hope for...


    Making sure to keep our lips locked, I swept my hands through Lee JiHan¡¯s golden hair. With my eyes closed, I saw a star. It was like it had fallen out of the sky andnded right beside me. It was a golden star that only I could hold. I was determined never to let it go.

 Chapter 50

    <h4>Chapter 50</h4>


    In the six months we spent in New York, AhJung learned a lot. She spent day and night with her English textbook while attending anguage school. In a mere two months, she was able to carry full conversations. In addition to learning English, she also took swimming and dance sses. The instructors were not Korean, so she had to use her wits and bodynguage to figure out what was going on. That in itself helped increase her English skills.


    Na AhJung and I also spent many nights attending Broadway shows. With my busy ss schedule, these were the only times I was able to rx and spend some much deserved time with my wife. She watched each show as if it were a teacher, writing in detail about each one in her diary.


    If Na AhJung¡¯s life had been a stagnantke before, she had now be a river that broke out toward the sea. Convinced of her growth, I readied myself to support her sea. As I prepared my dissertation, I participated actively in theic y script. I invested in stocks to prepare the funds to support the y.


    When I graduated and we returned to Korea, our y was done and ready to start rehearsal. From that point, a year had passed. Na AhJung was getting ready for herst show. I was standing in our apartment kitchen with an apron around my waist, frying jeon.


    ¡°You should have just hired a caterer.¡± My brother stood beside me nagging. ¡°Food for the memorial takes a lot of time. How do you expect to do that all by yourself?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s my mother-inw¡¯s memorial, I can¡¯t have someone else do it,¡± I said. ¡°I have to do it myself.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re such a brown noser,¡± my brother said. ¡°Is there anything I can help you with¡±


    ¡°No. I¡¯m almost done,¡± I replied. ¡°I just have to finish this. Oh, can you set the table in the living room. It¡¯s almost time for my AhJung to arrive. I should start getting everything ready.¡±


    At my request, my brother went to the living room. I removed the golden jeon from the frying pan and neatly arranged it on a te. As I stacked them making sure that they were lined up straight, my brother returned.


    ¡°It¡¯s a shame that the y¡¯sst day coincides with our mother-inw¡¯s memorial day,¡± he said. ¡°They usually have a party on thest day. AhJung will be the only one unable to attend.¡±


    ¡°The party is tomorrow,¡± I replied.


    ¡°Oh, really? That¡¯s fortunate,¡± he said. ¡°They usually hold it the same day as the end of the season.¡±


    ¡°The reason this even became an issue was because the y got extended for an additional month. I think it¡¯s reasonable that they make an exception,¡± I said as I took the te with the jeon out to the living room.


    ¡°I guess for those who have luck, everything seems to work out for them,¡± my brother said as he followed me. ¡°After seeing how popr that y became, our mother¡¯s dreams are starting to swell. She¡¯s saying you can save our dying entertainment brand.¡±


    I ced the te of food on the table and answered chicly, ¡°If my AhJung wants to, then I will.¡±


    ¡°And, if your AhJung says to not go through with it?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Then I won¡¯t. So, if you want me to be in charge of that department, you need to get my AhJung¡¯s permission first,¡± I said as I headed back to the kitchen.


    My brother followed me, pointing at my ck hair. ¡°I heard you needed to get your wife¡¯s permission before dying your hair back to that color. Now you need permission even for work rted things? What are you, her ve?¡±


    ¡°I have to do this so our mother won¡¯t disrespect my AhJung,¡± I answered as I lifted the altar.


    My brother helped me lift the other side and we moved it to the living room.


    ¡°Our mother disrespected AhJung,¡± he said. ¡°She¡¯s so afraid that our family line will end that she¡¯s doing her best to take care of AhJung.¡±


    ¡°You didn¡¯t know, but our mother knew you were gay,¡± I said.


    ¡°That¡¯s true, but what does that have to do with anything?¡± he asked.


    After setting the altar, I lightly warned my brother, ¡°After seeing our mother¡¯s decision regarding you, I don¡¯t entirely trust her choices.¡±


    My brother closed his mouth not knowing what to say.


    The sound of the front door being hurriedly opened could be heard. Soon, I was able to see my AhJung running toward us.


    ¡°JiHan, I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯m sote, aren¡¯t I?¡± My AhJung stopped in front of me and looked around trying to catch her breath. ¡°Oh no...You¡¯ve already done everything... You did this all by yourself? All of this?¡±


    She looked at me with teary eyes. I nodded casually.


    ¡°I said I¡¯lle back to help,¡± she said. ¡°Why did you finish everything already?¡±


    ¡°Because it tastes so much better if I do it. Even if you came early, I would have done everything by myself anyways,¡± I said cutting her short.


    Her teary expression changed to a pout. I kissed the pouting lips with mine but quickly removed them. While slightly pinching her cheeks, I said, ¡°Go wash your hands and change so we can start.¡±


    Na AhJung hugged my waist tightly and buried her face into my chest. ¡°One moment. Just for a little bit. I want to be like this.¡±


    Her pleading voice make the edges of my lips quiver. My chest was trembling like snow had piled up in my heart been crunched as she stepped into it.


    How did I end up in such a perfect marriage?


    Swept up by this random sense of satisfaction, I hugged Na AhJung around the shoulders. At this public disy, we could hear my brother heaving a huge sigh.


    ***


    As we started the memorial service, Na AhJung looked to be drunk before we even started drinking. She was smiling and blushing in happiness. She was bouncing in excitement. For some reason, she was getting teary eyed.


    She definitely looked drunk. She really was drunk but not on alcohol. It was something else. Something really good. It could be that she had achieved her dream of bing an actress. Or, she was happy to be able to show her mother her sess. Or, it could have been both.


    Anyways, this girl was drunk on happiness. Trying to understand my girl¡¯s emotions, I bowed respectfully to my mother-inw.


    When the memorial service was over, it was almost midnight. After moving the food to the dining table, my brother and I sat next to each other. Na AhJung sat across from us. As she had been during the service, she was still smiling uncontrobly.


    While we had been eating the meal Na AhJung, in the middle of chewing, eximed, ¡°Ah! My mother must be so happy!¡± Right after, she started shoving this and that into her mouth.


    Afraid she might get indigestion, I handed her a bottle of water. ¡°Look, AhJung. Eat slowly. We have a lot of time and a lot of food.¡±


    Na AhJung nodded, chewing furiously. Instead of the water bottle I handed her, she grabbed the wine bottle. She poured the wine into her cup and drank it. Afterward, she proimed. ¡°My mother is probably the only ghost to have such great tasting food at her memorial table! My mother will be the happiest ghost out there today!¡±


    She went to pick up a piece of rice cake.


    My brother added, ¡°I¡¯ve never tasted memorial food like this either.¡±


    I turned my head to look at him. My brother gave me a thumbs up.


    ¡°At this rate, we should be asking you to prepare our family¡¯s memorial service food also,¡± he said.


    Feeling proud, I smiled. Suddenly, a strange sound diverted my attention to Na AhJung. She was pounding her chest choking on the rice cake. I shot out of my seat. Before I could do anything, she downed the alcohol in front of her.


    Her face rxed as she put down the cup. I sat back down relieved.


    Seeing this, my brother said, ¡°They say that raising a son for 30 years can¡¯t beat the 30 seconds it takes for his wife to change him. I would have never imagined this would apply to my brother.¡±


    ¡°You think I would have known?¡± I asked still observing Na AhJung.


    She poured another ss and drank it. She put down the ss with a huge smile on her face, as if she had drank something sweet.


    ¡°I¡¯ve lived 28 years without knowing this girl, but who would have known that now I can¡¯t live without her,¡± I said.


    Like a mirror, my face broke out in a smile like hers. Suddenly Na AhJung¡¯s posture changed. She grabbed the wine bottle with two hands and started drinking it in huge gulps straight out of the bottle.


    ¡°I think she¡¯s drinking too much,¡± my brother mumbled in worry.


    She removed her lips from the bottle and put one eye to its top like a microscope. A few secondster, she put the bottle down and started to cry. ¡°There¡¯s no... Alcohol....¡±


    I muttered, ¡°She¡¯s drunk.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s drunk,¡± my brother muttered.


    ¡°I... have no alcohol...¡± Na AhJung hung her head low and muttered in a disappointed voice.


    Her inherent sadness made my heart hurt. Sensing that she was going to cry soon, I hurriedly moved next to her.


    Suddenly, she raised her head. ¡°I have a husband!¡±


    Her face was ecstatic without a single hint of a tear. The smile hanging from her face was wide and bright. Na AhJung was smiling so hard, her eyes were closing.


    ¡°Husband! Husband!¡± She looked around and found me sitting next to her. She wrapped herself around me and hung on tight. ¡°Husband, husband, husband, husband!¡±


    Watching her repetitively calling me with that giant grin on her face made me blurt out. ¡°My God you¡¯re so cute.¡±


    I patted her on the head.


    ¡°Hey, I think I¡¯m going to head out,¡± my brother said.


    The sudden bid goodbye made me turn my head. My brother had gotten out of his seat and was watching us.


    ¡°Oh man. If I wanted to live without seeing this, I should have just married Na AhJung when I had the chance,¡± my brother muttered.


    Oblivious to this whole conversation, Na AhJung stood up on the chair and wrapped her arms around my neck.


    Making sure she wouldn¡¯t fall, I held onto her tight and replied back to my brother, ¡°Even if it killed me, I would have never let that happen.¡±


    ¡°Who would have known that marriage would have ended because of this?¡± my brother replied with augh. ¡°You better be thanking me. If I wouldn¡¯t have tried to marry Na AhJung, you would have lived forever without her.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s why you¡¯re the person I love the most,¡± I said.


    ¡°Me? Not your AhJung?¡± my brother asked.


    ¡°Out of the men,¡± I retorted.


    Seeing my brotherugh, I followed suit. Na AhJung slowly started to wrap her legs around my waist. I supported her weight with my arms.


    She whispered in my ear, ¡°Honey... My honey...¡±


    My ears tickled with her breathy words. My heart was also being tickled by these words.


    ¡°You know the way out right?¡± I asked my brother in a hurry, feeling hot.


    I didn¡¯t wait for his answer. Carrying Na AhJung, I ran to the bedroom.


    ***


    It was a night to remember. Due to the extension of the y, we had decided to wait so that I could preserve my stamina. Now, there was no reason to wait. We put a month¡¯s worth of energy into one long and passionate night.


    I was so d that I didn¡¯t have to perform the next day. I felt relieved as I looked outside the brightening window.


    I had fallen asleep for a moment but woke up at the sound of someone moving. I opened my eyes to see JiHan dressed to go out.


    ¡°Huh? Are you going somewhere?¡± I asked.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to buy condoms,¡± he replied. ¡°We used them allst night.¡±


    ¡°Condoms? Why are you going to buy that now, it¡¯s so early?¡± I asked getting up.


    JiHan put on his jacket as he replied, ¡°I was going to go buy them while you were asleep.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s the hurry?¡± I asked. ¡°We can buy them when we go to the marketter. Why do you have to go now...¡±


    ¡°If we are to do it when you wake up, I have to buy it now,¡± he said.


    ¡°When I wake up... Again?!¡±


    ¡°You said that other people are the most passionate during their honeymoon phase and that when their eyes meet, electricity flies,¡± JiHan said as he stepped over to the bed. ¡°So why are you surprised I want to do it the moment you open your eyes?¡±


    ¡°Oh, well that¡¯s for those in the honeymoon phase,¡± I said. ¡°We¡¯ve been married two years. We¡¯re not really in that phase anymore.¡±


    ¡°If I have enough strength to hold up a spoon, then I¡¯m going to live in the honeymoon phase,¡± JiHan said with determination. He bent over and kissed my forehead. ¡°When Ie back, we are going to do it. So sleep more if you want.¡±


    He turned away, but I grabbed his jacket. ¡°Wait...¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Look for them more carefully,¡± I said. ¡°We should have some left. I counted it thest time.¡±


    ¡°There were a couple left, but we used them all yesterday,¡± JiHan replied. ¡°They ripped a few times in the middle.¡±


    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s right...¡± I nodded as I remembered the previous night.


    ¡°So, just wait a little bit. I will go get them,¡± he said.


    ¡°But, still. You don¡¯t have to go right now?¡± I held onto his jacket tighter. ¡°We don¡¯t have to use contraceptives anymore. Can¡¯t we do it without it?


    At my question, JiHan asked me quizzically, ¡°Why shouldn¡¯t we use contraceptive?¡±


    ¡°Well, if we want to have a baby, we obviously shouldn¡¯t be,¡± I replied.


    I had pushed it off until because of my work, but there was no reason to put it off any longer. Starting now, I was OK with the thought of bing pregnant.


    Trying to convince JiHan, I waved his jacket back and forth. ¡°So, hurry up and take this off. You don¡¯t need to go buy it.¡±


    JiHan shook his head. ¡°I¡¯m going to go buy it because we are not going to have children.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Unable to believe what I just heard, I blinked confusedly.


    JiHan repeated his words to me with a resolute face, as if they were an obvious fact. ¡°We are not going to have children.¡±


    We are not having children? Never having imagined this, I sat there numb.


    JiHan kissed me on the forehead. Thinking better of it, he kissed me on the lips. Telling me he would be back soon, he left.


    When I came back to my senses, JiHan was gone.


    What did I just hear? We aren¡¯t having children... How is that possible? Uh, no. This is a dream. I must have fallen asleep.


    I shook my head denying my memories. I tried to persuade myself, When I wake up from my sleep, I will realize this was all a dream.

 Chapter 51

    <h4>Chapter 51</h4>


    A monthter. I sat at the table in JiKyung¡¯s office and confessed the shocking truth.


    ¡°But, that wasn¡¯t a dream? If it was a dream, I should have woken up from it by now! If I haven¡¯t woken up from it for a whole month, isn¡¯t this real? Do you believe this? Can you believe it?¡± I asked.


    ¡°He probably just wants to enjoy his time with just you,¡± JiKyung said in a calming tone. ¡°It will be difficult to spend time with each other if you have a baby.¡±


    ¡°But, he said he wants to enjoy the honeymoon phase until his death,¡± I said. ¡°Not just right now, forever! He doesn¡¯t want a baby forever!¡±


    ¡°Hmm... That is a bit strange,¡± JiKyung said. ¡°I wonder why? When he went to get permission to get married to you, didn¡¯t he say it was because you were the only girl that he would have a child with?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s what I¡¯m saying! And now he¡¯s changing his mind!¡± I eximed, feeling cheated.


    ¡°What¡¯s his reason?¡± he asked. ¡°He wouldn¡¯t be doing this without a reason.¡±


    ¡°There is a reason. There is, but I wish he didn¡¯t have a reason,¡± I said.


    ¡°What are you talking about? You wish he didn¡¯t?¡± JiKyung looked confused.


    ¡°If he didn¡¯t have a reason, I could at least be angry with him,¡± I said. ¡°How can he give me that reason? I can¡¯t even get mad at him!¡±


    ¡°Why? What is it? What¡¯s the reason?¡± JiKyung asked with fervent curiosity.


    ¡°He said he thought about it while I was performing, and when the show ends, we should try to have a baby,¡± I said. ¡°So, he said he researched a bunch of things about pregnancy.¡±


    ¡°And?¡±


    ¡°He said he found out how difficult it is for the woman during pregnancy,¡± I replied. ¡°Knowing that, he can¡¯t let me go through that!¡±


    ¡°What?¡± JiKyung was surprised.


    ¡°He studied every little change that happens inside a woman!¡± I excitedly said. ¡°When the baby grows, it pushes the organs. The baby¡¯s weight can make a woman¡¯s spine bend. There¡¯s pressure on the ribs, so it¡¯s hard to breathe. Ah, he even learned about what happens after breastfeeding!¡±


    JiKyung stared at me without another word.


    ¡°Oh, what am I supposed to do with this man? He¡¯s worried about me having a difficult time, so I can¡¯t even get mad at him!¡± I pleaded with my hands together, ¡°JiKyung. Can you please throw some hints to him? Like, ¡®When am I getting a niece or nephew?¡¯ or ¡®Our mother is waiting, and I¡¯m waiting.''¡±


    JiKyung stared at the floor thinking. He finally said, ¡°You should just give up.¡±


    ¡°What? Why?¡± I asked.


    ¡°He thinks your word is gospel, and he¡¯s still refusing to listen to you,¡± JiKyung said. ¡°Do you really think he will listen to anyone?¡±


    ¡°So, you want me to just give up?¡± I asked. ¡°Then, what about your mother? She¡¯s just waiting for us to have a baby! How could I give up getting pregnant?¡±


    My mother-inw may have given up her hopes on a proper daughter-inw, but she would not give up on her grandchild. She agreed to our marriage because of that grandchild. How was I supposed to tell her to give up her need to have a grandchild?


    I shook my head thinking that could never happen.


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to tell our mother the truth. Just say you are trying but you aren¡¯t getting pregnant,¡± JiKyung said shrugging. ¡°What could she do at that point?¡±


    At JiKyung¡¯s suggestion, I became more frustrated. ¡°JiKyung... You need to realize that you can¡¯t hide things from your mother. She even knew you were gay. You didn¡¯t even realize that and tried to marry me. Don¡¯t you remember?¡±


    ¡°Oh....¡±


    ¡°If I make that excuse, don¡¯t you think she will check and find out if we are infertile or not?¡± I asked.


    ¡°I can¡¯t say she wouldn¡¯t,¡± he said.


    ¡°Even if she doesn¡¯t, I really want to give her a grandchild,¡± I said.


    At my sincere confession, JiKyung scratched his head not knowing what to do. ¡°Well. I can¡¯t think of a way out.¡±


    ¡°At least when you see him, can you talk to him?¡± I asked. ¡°Tell him how great it is to have a baby. If he hears it from me and his brother, it might change his mind.¡±


    There was always a chance. I was grasping at straws. JiKyung nodded expressing that he could at least do that much.


    ¡°You¡¯re the best!¡± I gave him two thumbs up. ¡°My brother-inw is the best man in the world!¡±


    ¡°What about your husband?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Out of the gays...¡± I added meekly as I stuck my thumb and index finger together to make a heart.


    Someone knocked at the door. The door opened, and the assistant walked in. ¡°Lim DaeChul is here for you.¡±


    I looked at JiKyung shocked. ¡°Lim, Lim DaeChul?¡±


    JiKyung glimpsed at my expression and said to his assistant, ¡°Tell him to wait a moment. My sister-inw will be leaving soon.¡±


    ¡°Yes, sir,¡± his assistant said.


    I didn¡¯t say a word until the assistantpletely closed the door. When I could hear his footsteps far away, I shot up and yelled. ¡°You! You¡¯re still seeing that scam artist?!¡±


    ¡°AhJung, it¡¯s not like that.¡± JiKyungughed making it seem as if this wasn¡¯t a big deal.


    To me, this was a big deal. I ran to JiKyung and whispered so only he could hear, ¡°If it¡¯s not that, then what is it? Why is that jerk here? The whole time you were dating, he bummed off of you and even scammed you by pretending to be you! How dare hee here to meet with you?¡±


    ¡°AhJung. Calm down and listen to me.¡± JiKyung¡¯s attempt at trying to persuade me made me furious.


    I grabbed his cor and shook him. ¡°Are you insane! Get your act together! You are such a good person! You¡¯re the best person I know! How could you continue to see that useless piece of trash!¡±


    ¡°Ah, AhJung, the Lim DaeChul outside is not the Lim DaeChul you know,¡± he said.


    ¡°Hey! A person doesn¡¯t change that easily,¡± I said. ¡°Just because you wash a junk car, does it because a Benz?!¡±


    ¡°No, that¡¯s not what I mean...¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t see Lim DaeChul! Never! I disapprove of this! I will never approve this!¡± I was on a full-on rant


    ¡°Assistant Kim! Assistant Kim!¡± JiKyung hurriedly yelled. The door opened and the assistant came in. ¡°Bring Lim DaeChul here! Quickly!¡±


    ¡°Excuse me? Oh, yes, yes.¡± The assistant looked taken aback by our situation and quickly disappeared behind the door.


    ¡°What? Bring him here quickly?¡± I asked. ¡°Hurry and bring him here! I shouldn¡¯t be doing this to you, I should be grabbing that jerk by the cor! I¡¯m going to pull out all his hair! All of it!¡±


    As I stood there grinding my teeth in determination, we heard a knock. JiKyung released my hand from his cor and went to answer the door.


    If it had been the old me, I would have never imagined myself doing anything. Now, I folded up my sleeves ready to grab Lim DaeChul¡¯s hair by the roots. Strangely, a man I¡¯ve never seen before entered the room.


    ¡°Who are you?¡± I asked in confusion.


    The man looked confused too and replied, ¡°I¡¯m Lim DaeChul from JoonAh Daily...¡± His eyes seemed to be asking who I was.


    For about five seconds, I wondered if the Lim DaeChul I knew had gone through extensive stic surgery. But, those eyes definitely did not recognize me, so I diffused my suspicions.


    I turned to JiKyung. ¡°And he is?¡±


    ¡°Lim DaeChul. Not the Lim DaeChul you know,¡± he replied. ¡°Apletely different person with the same name. He¡¯s a reporter who came to get an interview.¡±


    It really is a different person! As I realized this, I sighed in relief. ¡°What a relief!¡±


    JiKyung smirked at my brightening expression. ¡°Were you that worried that I would meet a bad person?¡±


    ¡°Of course! Your standards are not normal,¡± I said without thinking. ¡°You always choose the trashiest...¡±


    I suddenly realized that the reporter was standing right next to us. There¡¯s a lot I can say about the kind of man Lee JiKyung choose, but I¡¯ll resist!


    ¡°Anyways! My brother-inw is the most awesome person I know,¡± I said. ¡°You have to meet a really, really great person.¡±


    I hoped for it toe true. I told him this so that it would get engraved in his head. I then made a heart over my left chest. Although, it was slightly smaller than the one I gave to my husband.


    ***


    My n for JiKyung to pressure JiHan was useless. He had told me he was meeting his brother after work, but he came back with his hands full of groceries. In the two bags were boxes and boxes of condoms.


    Abandoning the grocery bag next to the bed, JiHan stood in front of the closet and loosened his tie.


    ¡°What is the meaning of this?¡± I asked pointing at the grocery bag.


    JiHan answered curtly, ¡°It¡¯s my way of expressing that I will not be pressured.¡±


    ¡°Pressured?¡± I asked.


    ¡°My brother telling me he wants a niece or nephew felt like pressure to me, so I took him to the market with me and bought them,¡± JiHan said.


    ¡°You bought that in front of JiKyung?!¡± I asked.


    JiHan calmly undid his buttons in front of a devastated me. ¡°There¡¯s nothing to be ashamed of. We¡¯re all grown up and married. Using that is a choice, not a taboo.¡±


    ¡°But, still, in front of your brother... Do you have to go that far in front of your brother?¡± I asked. ¡°You could just tell him we¡¯re trying!¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re not going to try, so why should I lie about it?¡± JiHan replied as he undid hisst button.


    Feeling that he didn¡¯t feel the slightest inclination forpromise, I started getting angry. ¡°Try, husband!¡±


    At my exmation, Lee JiHan froze and looked at me.


    ¡°I want it, your brother wants it, your mother wants it! Just do it! Do it!¡± I yelled, putting my foot down.


    JiHan opened his mouth with a disturbed expression. ¡°It¡¯s not my brother and mother¡¯s body, so I can understand them acting like this. But, why are you so insistent? It¡¯s your body. You will have to endure so much.¡±


    ¡°Even if I have to endure it, I want to,¡± I said.


    Determined to force his hand, I leaned up close to JiHan. Wrapping myself around his waist, I looked up at him and pleaded, ¡°JiHan, don¡¯t you want to have a daughter that looks like me?¡±


    ¡°Having my AhJung is enough to keep me plenty happy,¡± JiHan replied dully. ¡°I don¡¯t see the necessity to have another person that looks like you.¡±


    I was lost for words, but I continued to make my case. ¡°But, I want to have a son that looks like you.¡±


    JiHan¡¯s expression darkened at myment. ¡°Why? You aren¡¯t content with just one of me?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not what I mean,¡± I said.


    ¡°If it¡¯s not that, then why do you need another person that looks like me?¡± he asked.


    ¡°You¡¯re my husband, not my child,¡± I replied, trying to make him understand. ¡°A husband and child are different! Even though you are enough as a husband, it doesn¡¯t mean I can live without a child!¡±


    JiHan looked at me with a serious expression on his face.


    ¡°I want to be a mother,¡± I said.


    Sensing my desperation, JiHan closed his eyes and sighed. Finally, he opened his eyes and said reassuringly, ¡°I was being short sighted.¡±


    Did he change his mind?


    Upon glimpsing a glimmer of hope, my eyes sparkled. JiHan grabbed my waist and lifted me up. I reflexively wrapped my arms around his shoulders and my legs around his waist. He held me tight so I wouldn¡¯t fall.


    Looking up slightly, he said. ¡°I wanted to give you all the love you didn¡¯t receive from your parents. I found happiness in seeing your tiny self-esteem grow day by day. Whatever you did made you look beautiful. So, I thought this must be what it¡¯s like to be a parent. I had a wife who was like my child, the apple of my eye. I personally never felt the need to have an actual child to care for.¡±


    His words were quite romantic, and my heart melted. With grateful eyes, I looked at JiHan.


    ¡°I¡¯m more a parent figure than a child figure as a husband,¡± he said. ¡°In my AhJung¡¯s perspective, you would want a child. I understand now.¡±


    He really did change his mind!


    I hugged JiHan happily at the realization. He walked to the bed and ced me down. Sitting side by side, he held my hands. I concentrated on his words full of hope. But...


    ¡°I¡¯m going to act like a child now,¡± he said.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll do my best to be a childlike husband so you no longer have to worry about getting a child of your own,¡± he said.


    ¡°What?¡± He changed his mind in a strange way.


    His unmoving resistance to the idea of pregnancy numbed my mind. JiHan nted a kiss on my forehead as if taking an oath.


    ¡°I¡¯ll finish undressing and wash up. You can tuck me in,¡± JiHan said as he got up from the bed.


    In the time it took him to remove his clothes, shower, wear his pajamas, and return, I had remained frozen in shock. I was unable toe back to my senses even after he wriggled his way into my arms to close his eyes and fall asleep.

 Chapter 52

    <h4>Chapter 52</h4>


    The entire time we were home, JiHan remained stuck to me like gum. He had always woken up early each morning, but now he would stay in bed hugging me pretending to be asleep until I woke him up. He whined asking for five more minutes until I practically had to drag him to the bathroom. Fortunately, he at least had the decency to wash up by himself.


    ¡°Ah...I don¡¯t want to go to work.¡± He would whine andy back down on the bed. He had been acting like this the moment he promised to act like a child.


    ¡°Don¡¯t go, then,¡± I said calmly looking down at him.


    At this, JiHan asked brightly, ¡°Really? Can I?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s Saturday anyways.¡±


    At my t response, JiHan reacted in surprise. ¡°Really? Why didn¡¯t I know? See, this is why I can¡¯t live without my AhJung. If my AhJung didn¡¯t take care of every little thing, I wouldn¡¯t be able to function.¡±


    ¡°You sure are going the whole mile with this acting like a kid thing,¡± I mumbled, not amused.


    JiHan stuck out his two hands toward me. ¡°Hold my hand and lift me up. It¡¯s the weekend, so I¡¯m going to go y with you.¡±


    I wasn¡¯t sure if he didn¡¯t hear me or was pretending to not hear me. JiHan acted like he didn¡¯t know anything and continued to repeatedly open and close his hands, like the turn signal of a car.


    ¡°JiHan, this isn¡¯t going to change anything,¡± I said curtly with my arms crossed. ¡°However much you act this way, I still want a baby.¡±


    ¡°Can you just hold this?¡± he asked. ¡°Without your help, I can¡¯t get up.¡±


    ¡°I mean, if you are going to continue doing this, at least be consistent,¡± I said. ¡°You insist on doing the cooking yourself, but pretend you can¡¯t do anything, pretend to need pampering, pretend to whine.¡±


    At my criticism, a shadow fell over JiHan. He coldly replied, ¡°My AhJung. I¡¯m someone that needs your care, not a masochist who needs your cooking skills.¡±


    ¡°Ah, you¡¯re so immature!¡± Exploding, I ran over and grabbed him.


    ¡°What? Are you making fun of me?¡± he asked.


    ¡°No! I¡¯m telling you exactly what you are,¡± retorted back in annoyance and pulled him up by the cor.


    JiHan got up straightening his back and wrapped his arms around my waist. Hugging me, he flipped me around.


    ¡°Ah!¡± I yelled in surprise. I found myself on my back. JiHan was on top of me.


    ¡°What is this? What are you doing?¡± I asked with anger in my eyes.


    JiHan answered while holding my face. ¡°I finally got a weekend off of work. Let¡¯s y nice.¡±


    After those words, his lips locked onto mine.


    What does he think he¡¯s doing pouring all his energy into kissing me at this hour?


    My body twisted as his mouth melted into mine. It was sweet and hot. With my eyes closed, I grasped at the bed sheets. I suddenly felt JiHan¡¯s hands slide underneath my clothes.


    My eyes flung open as I came back to my senses. I turned my head and removed my lips from his. ¡°Don¡¯t!¡±


    At my words, JiHan hesitated. When I looked back up at him, he was looking back at me with surprised eyes.


    I didn¡¯t avoid his gaze and stubbornly said, ¡°If you are going to use contraceptives, then I¡¯m not doing it.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°When you decide to have a baby, we can do it then,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m not going to do it using birth control.¡±


    I turned my head away from him, not willing topromise this time. Try it if you want. But, it¡¯s going to have to be without contraceptives.


    At my determined stance, JiHan stayed frozen for a long time.


    Is he trying to recall me with a seance? Tired of waiting, I nced over at him and saw JiHan looking deep in thought. To be or not to be, that was the question. Is the concept of pregnancy an existential question? What is there to think about?


    Infuriated, I wanted to force a decision, but JiHan finally opened his mouth. ¡°Then, I¡¯m not going to do it.¡±


    ¡°What? Birth control?¡± I asked.


    ¡°I¡¯m not going to do it without birth control.¡± JiHan articted those words and got up away from me. He didn¡¯t even spare me a nce. He turned his back and left the bed.


    Really! He has to go this far? Watching JiHan disappear farther and farther away, my emotions erupted.


    ¡°Ah, really! Really, are you going to be like this?!¡± I screamed angrily and followed after him.


    As I blocked his path, JiHan stopped walking with a displeased look on his face.


    ¡°I want to do it!¡± I yelled. ¡°The stupid pregnancy! Just let me do it!¡±


    ¡°I already told you, I won¡¯t allow it,¡± he said. ¡°Pregnancy is incredibly harmful to the body. Did you forget everything I lectured you on?¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t forget!¡± I was beyond frustrated.


    ¡°No. If you want to get pregnant without the slightest inclination, then you definitely forgot the contents of my lecture. Go and read the notes you made,¡± JiHanmanded, pointing to the library.


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter how many times I see it,¡± I said. ¡°I don¡¯t care how difficult it is, I want a child.¡±


    ¡°I said I¡¯ll be a husband and child for you instead,¡± he said.


    ¡°I don¡¯t care if you act like a child or not, I¡¯m going to have a baby!¡± I proimed.


    ¡°You don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about!¡± JiHan¡¯s eyes narrowed severely.


    I didn¡¯t back down and screamed. ¡°You act like pregnancy is such a horrible thing! Look around you! There are plenty of couples who have kids and live just fine! Some people even have two or three kids! What, do you think those people just forget what it was like to give birth? Even if it was difficult, they go through with it again because it¡¯s doable!¡±


    JiHan frowned at my viewpoint, but answered, nheless. ¡°The baby grows during pregnancy using the mother¡¯s DHA and cholesterol. Due to the loss in nutrients, the mother¡¯s brain capacity gets weakened. After birth, her estrogen levels change. Consequently, after giving birth, your memory ispromised.¡±


    Where is this? A maternal clinic?


    The JiHan in front of me looked like a gynecologist. I blinked at the sudden attack of medical facts thrown at me as.


    ¡°What I¡¯m saying is, those women do forget how difficult it was giving birth,¡± he concluded. ¡°It¡¯s not that giving birth is doable. It¡¯s because they have lost the memory of the difficulties of giving birth.¡±


    Who would have known such bullsh*t could sound so scientific? Knowledge is power.


    I was almost taken in when I regained my wit.


    ¡°No, my friend remembers everything about the birth, but she still rmends having kids,¡± I said.


    ¡°That¡¯s because she doesn¡¯t want to be the only one who had to suffer through it, so she wants you to feel its pain too,¡± JiHan coldly interrupted.


    ¡°My friend wouldn¡¯t do that,¡± I said. ¡°What kind of friend would do that anyways?¡±


    JiHan grabbed my shoulders and said in a loud voice, ¡°Even if your friend¡¯s statement is true, you are different from her.¡±


    ¡°What does that mean?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Each person is different,¡± he said. ¡°Pregnancy might not have been too difficult for your friend, but it¡¯s difficult for you.¡±


    ¡°How would you know that?¡± I asked in shock. ¡°We haven¡¯t even tried it.¡±


    ¡°My AhJung¡¯s body is small. Your bones are weak, and your pelvis is narrow. If you get pregnant, I guarantee you will have a difficult time of it,¡± JiHan said with certainty as if he could foresee the future.


    How many times did he attend that sted maternal clinic? And, when did he observe all my physical attributes so thoroughly to be so confident with himself. I was actually amazed, but pretended I didn¡¯t care.


    ¡°OK, fine. It does sound legit. From a medical standpoint.¡± I nodded agreeing with him. I stopped nodding and brought up a different point. ¡°But, you are only thinking in medical terms. What about the legal terms?¡±


    JiHan cocked his head at the unexpected question.


    ¡°The terms of us getting permission for our marriage was that I would be the only woman you would bear a child with,¡± I said. ¡°That was the only reason your mother approved of our marriage. Reiterating, we made a verbal contract with your mother that we will give her a grandchild. A verbal contract. You remember what that is, don¡¯t you?¡±


    JiHanughed, thinking it was a cute sentiment. ¡°There was no physically written contract. We only agreed verbally.¡±


    ¡°Yes. But a verbal contract is still binding, didn¡¯t you know?¡± I asked with most serious face I could give. ¡°If you don¡¯t follow through with the deal, this marriage is a scam. If we don¡¯t have a child, you are scamming your mother. How could you do that as a person? To your mother? You can¡¯t do that!¡±


    JiHan smiled and didn¡¯t looked fazed. It was as if my offense wasn¡¯t an attack but a mere tickle.


    ¡°Wait a minute. I¡¯ll repeat this back to you.¡± He walked behind me and grabbed my shoulder, just like he did when we had gone to get permission from his mother. ¡°Look carefully. This girl is the one girl I will get married to, and the only girl that will allow me to continue the family line.¡±


    The voice behind me repeated the words exactly as he did before.


    ¡°Yes, that¡¯s what you said. And to your mother. You remember it that clearly, so how could you be against my pregnancy?¡± I asked as I turned around.


    He breezily answered, ¡°My AhJung. I said you¡¯re the girl that will allow me to continue the family line. I never said you will definitely continue the family line.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Allow me to only assumes the possibility of it happening. I never guaranteed it,¡± he said. ¡°I can say there is a possibility it will rain tomorrow, but that doesn¡¯t mean it guarantees that it will rain.¡±


    Damnit, his bullsh*t makes sense! I can¡¯t even fight against the logic! I lost to his logical nonsense again! I cursed the heavens.


    ¡°Ah, I¡¯m not backing down!¡± I threw JiHan¡¯s hand off of my shoulder and stomped over to the closet.


    I can¡¯t beat him with words, so I¡¯ll show him with my actions! Determined, I pulled out my trunk from the corner of the closet.


    Seeing this, JiHan¡¯s voice rose up behind me. ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    I didn¡¯t spare JiHan a nce. Without answering, I ced the trunk on top of the bed. Opening the zipper, I poured out my grievances.


    ¡°I mean if you didn¡¯t want kids, you should have told me before we got married,¡± I said. ¡°This is an important issue! You didn¡¯t even discuss it with me before getting married! Now, you just refuse it! What the heck am I supposed to do?¡±


    I flipped open the trunk¡¯s cover, ran over to the closet, and grabbed whatever clothes I could get my hands on. ¡°You¡¯re always like this!¡±


    I was heading back over to the trunk with the handful of clothes when JiHan blocked my way. ¡°What do you mean, always like this?¡±


    ¡°Even when we were dating! If I¡¯m going to date you, then I have to respect your purity! You didn¡¯t discuss it with me! You just started dating me! I¡¯m this kind of person, so ept it! You always just do whatever you want!¡± I fired out all my pent up anger, passed JiHan, and walked toward my trunk. ¡°You¡¯re still like that, still! nning your family is an important step as a couple! But, I have no choice in the matter! Everything is all up to you!¡±


    I shoved all the clothes I brought into the trunk, zipped it closed, and lugged it off my bed.


    JiHan grabbed my arm. ¡°So, what you¡¯re saying is that you don¡¯t like the fact that I didn¡¯t tell you beforehand?¡±


    ¡°No! You don¡¯t discuss these things with me! You shouldn¡¯t be determining the future for me! I have a right to make the choices for my future!¡± I yelled with my fists clenched.


    JiHan blinked nkly as if he never even thought of such a possibility.


    I didn¡¯t care. I was not going to back down.


    ¡°You wait JiHan. This time, I¡¯m not just going to let it go!¡± Lifting the trunk by the handle, I added, ¡°I will never give up on having a baby! Until you respect my choices also, I won¡¯t be stepping foot inside this house!¡±


    After brazenly announcing my departure, I stomped toward the door. The trunk¡¯s wheels rumbled behind me. JiHan must have still been in shock because I didn¡¯t hear his footsteps following me, but I didn¡¯t care.


    To a house that wasn¡¯t this one, and to the room that wasn¡¯t this one, I headed to my old room.

 Chapter 53

    <h4>Chapter 53</h4>


    I removed the contents of the trunk in the room I had inhabited two years ago and answered JiKyung¡¯s call. He told me that JiHan had called him toe out and sensed trouble. He asked me if there was a problem between the two of us.


    No wonder he had left the house after knocking on my door a couple of times. He had gone to meet with his brother. At least he didn¡¯t go somewhere bad or weird. Feeling relieved, I told JiKyung what had happened.


    After I told him my story, JiKyung said in a disappointed tone, ¡°If you are going to run away from home, you might as well have left the house entirely. Running away to your room seems a bit pathetic.¡±


    ¡°If I had a family that would wee me, I would have gone,¡± I said. ¡°But, what could I do?¡±


    ¡°Go to a hotel or something,¡± he said.


    ¡°Hotels are expensive,¡± I replied.


    ¡°You make money now,¡± JiKyung said. ¡°You¡¯re worried about the cost of the hotel? I¡¯ll give you the money, just go to a hotel.¡±


    Why is he so adamant about me leaving? I wondered.


    ¡°Why would you pay my hotel costs?¡±


    ¡°If you¡¯ve decided to put your foot down on the issue, make a definite impact. Bepletely out of JiHan¡¯s sight,¡± JiKyung insisted.


    I didn¡¯t particrly like that idea and shook my head. ¡°No way. It would be different if I went to stay with my family. If I sleep somewhere else, he will worry.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s why I¡¯m telling you to go,¡± he said.


    My eyes widened at his advice. ¡°What are you talking about?¡±


    ¡°I couldn¡¯t have paid money to see you two fighting,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯d like to enjoy this chance to its fullest extent.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t believe you...¡±


    ¡°Good luck. Don¡¯t lose to him, and give him hell. It be fun for the solos to watch.¡± JiKyung seemed to be enjoying this quite a bit. ¡°Oh, JiHan¡¯s arrived. I¡¯m hanging up. I¡¯ll call you againter.¡±


    Before I could reply, JiKyung hurriedly hung up. I took the phone away from my ear and put it in front of my eyes. I wrote out the message I was unable to say out loud.


    [Please don¡¯t give my husband anything unhealthy to eat.]


    ***


    I met up with my brother and visited the various eateries. I bought all the sweet desserts I could find. Macaron, cake, candy, ice cream... Both my hands were filled with the bags of dessert. I had to borrow my brother¡¯s two hands to help me carry them all.


    Afterpleting our shopping, I got into my brother¡¯s car, opened the ice cream packaging, and spilled out my frustrations.


    ¡°How could my AhJung do this to me?¡± I spoke while shoving the ice cream into my mouth. The cold gave me brain freeze. Not minding it, I chewed even more furiously.


    ¡°You think I enjoy not being able to do what she wants to do?¡± I asked as my mouth emptied. I scooped up the remaining ice cream and emptied that as well.


    ¡°Then why don¡¯t you just do it for her?¡± my brother asked me as he drove.


    Enraged, I swallowed the ice cream without even chewing. ¡°I would if this wasn¡¯t such a huge issue. Who in the world would love my AhJung like I would? I love my AhJung more than she loves herself! Don¡¯t I? Have you seen anyone? Anyone that love her more than I do. Did you!¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to...¡± my brother mumbled with a sigh.


    ¡°If someone like me told her that many times that we can¡¯t, then there must be a valid reason,¡± I said. ¡°Why doesn¡¯t she realize that? It¡¯s not like I didn¡¯t exin it? I even presented the information with pictures and references so it would be easy for her to understand. The things that a woman would have to sacrifice, the pain she must endure. I exined it all. Why can¡¯t she understand? My decision was made with her in mind!¡±


    Not only did I feel betrayed, but it also hurt. Then, she went and locked the door and ignored my knocks. I opened the box of candy to relieve my stress. As if it was a pill, I popped one of the candies into my mouth.


    ¡°So? You ran away to get back at your wife who ran away to the room next door?¡±


    I nodded at my brother¡¯s spot on observation. I swallowed the candy and said, ¡°I¡¯m going to sleep at your house today.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not going back home until my AhJung waves her white g and surrenders her need to get pregnant,¡± I said.


    ¡°So... You¡¯re going to stay at my house?¡± My brother didn¡¯t look so thrilled with the idea. It was as if my being there would be ufortable for him.


    Not only my one and only wife, but my brother too is abandoning me!


    I yelled at my brother as sorrow and betrayal filled me, ¡°How could you do this to your own brother?¡±


    ***


    I opened a can of soda as I sat in my brother¡¯s living room. I sat on the floor leaning against the sofa with the table full of cake and macarons.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you just drink actual alcohol. Why are you sitting there drinking soda like it¡¯s beer.¡± My brother wagged his tongue at me as I sat there gulping down my soda.


    The carbonation stung my nose and I frowned. ¡°Soda is better. It¡¯s unhealthy for you, and it doesn¡¯t taste good. What¡¯s the point of drinking alcohol?¡±


    ¡°And, sweets are healthy for you?¡± he asked.


    ¡°I might as well ruin my body with something that tastes good rather than ruining it with something that tastes bad,¡± I said lightly while taking another sip. A sudden thought hit me. ¡°But why are you still living here? Weren¡¯t you going to move because of your scam artist ex? He¡¯s not bothering you?¡±


    ¡°I left it empty for a couple of months after you and AhJung moved out, so he thinks I¡¯vepletely moved out,¡± he said. ¡°After he found out you were my brother, he said he didn¡¯t want to be with someone with a brother like you. That¡¯s what he wrote in hisst email. He hasn¡¯t contacted me since.¡±


    ¡°How dare he tell you he doesn¡¯t like you,¡± I said. ¡°Like he deserves to even have a choice!¡±


    My brotherughed at my irritation and reached out his hand toward the table. He grabbed one of the many cans, and opened it.


    ¡°In your opinion, do you think there is someone out there who is an appropriate match for me?¡± he asked.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°You think that I¡¯m the most perfect person in the world,¡± he said.


    ¡°Are you not?¡±


    My brotherughed again and sipped his soda. ¡°Whether that¡¯s true or not, that is what you think. Therefore, in your eyes, there will never be a person that will be worthy of me.¡±


    ¡°You just haven¡¯t met them yet,¡± I said. ¡°Someone as perfect as you.¡±


    My brother shook his head at my statement. ¡°The person that matches with me is not necessarily a person that is as perfect as me.¡±


    ¡°Then? Is it someone that¡¯s more perfect than you?¡± I asked.


    ¡°No. It¡¯s just someone who makes me happy when I¡¯m with them,¡± he said.


    ¡°That¡¯s the same thing. Meeting a person as perfect as you will lead to you being the happiest,¡± I said.


    My brother shook his head again. Then, a bit bitterly, he said, ¡°It might be because I¡¯ve spent my life trying to fulfill the role of a father figure. I tend to fall for those who allow me to be childish, reckless, and immature. A person who doesn¡¯t have the expectations as others do of me. I am the happiest when I¡¯m with this sort offortable person.¡±


    This was an unexpected truth. In all my memories, my brother had always been perfect. He was always dependable. It was as if he had been perfect from birth. By my mother¡¯s standards, he was the very best. So, I had always believed that my brother¡¯s perfect match would have to be as perfect as he was.


    But this. Stick a pair of eyes on his feet, and that¡¯s how high my brother¡¯s standards are.


    ¡°At this rate, you¡¯re going to meet another dud. How are your requirements for choosing a partner so feeble? You should be looking far into the future for someone that will be perfect with you together. Why are you trying to find someone that will crumble your perfection?¡± I asked distastefully.


    My brotherughed and ced his hand on my head. As he pet my head, he said, ¡°JiHan. Your version of my happiness is different from how I feel happiness. You may be cold to strangers, but to the ones you care about, you pour your heart and soul into them. You make sure the ones who are dear to you will be happier than anyone by ensuring they live a perfect life. So, you draw up a picture of what you think is a perfect life for them and then force them to live by it.¡±


    ¡°I do that?¡± I asked questioning it¡¯s validity.


    My brother removed his hand and answered earnestly, ¡°That¡¯s the reason you were so insistent on disapproving of my marriage with AhJung. You believed that this marriage didn¡¯t fit your version of a perfect life for me. That¡¯s why you were against it.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s true.¡± I nodded, unable to find fault in his argument.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t the reason you are telling AhJung to not have a baby the same thing?¡± he asked. ¡°If AhJung gets pregnant, she will have to endure hardships. Your picture of the perfect life for AhJung didn¡¯t include a baby. So, you decided on this picture you created and told her to abide by it.¡±


    This was another truth I couldn¡¯t find fault in. Hearing it like this makes it sound like this was my fault. The only reason I nned the perfect life for my AhJung was because I care for her more than she did herself. What¡¯s wrong with that? In the end, it¡¯s meant to make my AhJung live the most happiest version of her life.


    I kept my mouth closed and frowned as I felt a pang of guilt.


    ¡°Of course, up until now, you acting this way didn¡¯t present a problem because, fortunately, your judgement was correct in making your AhJung happy,¡± my brother said. ¡°But, JiHan, your judgement will not always be right. Just as your judgement about my happiness was wrong. No. Even if your judgement is always correct, you still shouldn¡¯t force anyone to go along with your one-sided decisions. That is disrespecting that person¡¯s freedom of choice.¡±


    Freedom of choice... My AhJung¡¯s voice streaked through my head.


    ¡°No! You don¡¯t discuss these things with me! You shouldn¡¯t be determining the future for me. I have a right to make the choices for my future also!¡±


    Choice. Yes, my AhJung¡¯sint had also been about her choice.


    Like my brother said, I had been disrespecting my AhJung¡¯s freedom of choice. Even so, did this warrant me getting criticized for it? If my judgement is right, then isn¡¯t it better for AhJung to follow through with it to find the best road to happiness. Plus, I will do my best to make sure I am right.


    I understood what my brother was saying, but wasn¡¯t this a necessary evil? It might look to be a w, but it fulfilled a definite need. So, there¡¯s no reason for me to get rid of this attribute entirely.


    ¡°But... But, I let her choose so many other things,¡± I said trying to persuade my brother, certain my way was right. ¡°I¡¯m only against the one thing, her pregnancy. This is the only thing I can¡¯t approve of. And, it¡¯s all because I care for her. I don¡¯t want her to do it because I know it will cause her hardship. Why do I have to give her permission for it? She can give up this one thing and just do as I say.¡±


    My brother looked at me dazed after hearing my speech. It was as if he thought it was interesting. ¡°Now that I think about it, you¡¯re just like our mother.¡±


    Upon hearing these words, my heart dropped.

 Chapter 54

    <h4>Chapter 54</h4>


    As I drove, I remembered those times. The time my dreams of bing a chef got crushed by my mother.


    The winter of my senior year, I had sent in all my college applications. I fought the war valiantly but had lost miserably. I realized then that I could never beat my mother. She would always be right. If I looked far into the future, her wishes would ultimately be what was best for me.


    That was why I joined the marines. If I was to follow my mother¡¯s wishes, I would have abandoned my hopes cleanly. I used my time in the military to empty my mind and my heart.


    Cooking became my flower bud that would never have a chance to fully bloom. After that, I never gave up anything. In my life, having one flower bud was enough. I vowed to never give up anything again.


    That one instance of surrender had left me thirsty for a long time. I had no intention of restarting it, but it gave me an aversion to giving up on my wants.


    I hated the feeling of defeat. The feeling that I had no control over the predetermined future and the difort of knowing I had no choice. I never wanted to feel that way again.


    So, I made sure to never feel that way again. I did what I thought was right. The way I drew my picture.


    That¡¯s how I had lived my life. So I could live by the picture I drew, I forced AhJung to give up more and more. Since my picture was right, it needed to be followed. Without me knowing, I was doing exactly what my mother had done to me.


    If I continued to force my intentions on my AhJung and break her will, then she, too, would end up with flower buds that never blossomed. If I was stupid enough to not learn from my past, it would have continued this way.


    As I stopped the car at the red light, I also stopped my train of thought. Then, I felt it. I missed her. I wanted to run to her.


    ***


    Beyond the phone, I heard JiKyung¡¯s excited voice. ¡°What can you do? Your husband has no intention of losing to you?¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± I asked.


    ¡°He said that his brother is better than his wife,¡± he said. ¡°He will live long and happily in my house, so don¡¯t wait up for him and go to sleep.¡±


    ¡°Oh, no I can¡¯t!¡± I shot up from my bed.


    ¡°What do you mean you can¡¯t. Don¡¯t you dare lose to him. Then, this will all be for nothing. Don¡¯t lose and keep fighting!¡± JiKyung cheered me on and hung up.


    Wow.. .I didn¡¯t leave the house because I thought he would worry! But, he ended up sleeping elsewhere?


    I felt bbergasted and betrayed.


    That temper of his! I thought he had changed after marriage, but ha! He¡¯s just the same!


    ¡°Ha! You think I¡¯m going to be scared like long time ago!¡± I yelled at the ceiling, enraged. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter if his temper¡¯s the same! I¡¯m no longer the person I used to be! I¡¯m not scared!¡±


    I stomped out of the room. In a few minutes, I arrived to the master bedroom andid on the bed hugging my husband¡¯s pillow.


    ¡°I¡¯m not doing this because I¡¯m scared...¡± I mumbled getting slightly teary eyed. There was no one watching anyways.


    ¡°I¡¯m not scared, not scared, not scared.¡± I repeated to convince myself. But, it wasn¡¯t working.


    What do I do if my husband neveres back? What if my husband running out of the house leads to him running out of my life?


    I ignored my attempts at persuading myself against the fact and kept creating negative thoughts.


    If I¡¯m to stop myself from spiraling out of control, I should just stop thinking all together.


    I closed my eyes, determined to go to sleep. I buried my face into my husband¡¯s pillow. From far away, I heard the quiet sound of the front door opening.


    What the?


    I opened my eyes and heard the swift pounding of footstepsing closer.


    Can it be! Is he here now? My husband?


    A feeling of delight rose up in me, but only for a second.


    No, I, I¡¯m like this right now? I came crawling back in here after a day? Why now?


    The delight quickly faded and my heart fell.


    No, I can¡¯t. He can¡¯t see me like this!


    Frazzled, I threw the pillow and got up quickly. I could hear the door of the other room opening.


    Ah! I can¡¯t go back now!


    Trying to find a ce to hide, I looked around. But, the footsteps had returned. They were quickly approaching the door.


    Sh*t!


    Finding no other option, I closed my eyes and plopped myself onto the bed.


    Pretend to sleep. I¡¯ll just pretend to be asleep!


    The moment I decided on this, I heard the door open. The sound was my cue to start my acting.


    I am sleeping, sleeping. I am asleep.


    I rxed every muscle of my body and breathed slowly. The footsteps walked toward me and stopped next to the bed. I tried desperately to make sure my facial expression didn¡¯t ry my anxiety.


    ¡°Are you sleeping?¡± His voice was heavy but soothing. It didn¡¯t sound angry at all. JiHan waited a moment for a reply and sighed.


    I¡¯m asleep. Leave me alone. I don¡¯t care if he washes his face or showers. Just give me a way out of this room.


    Strangely, I heard a noise on the floor. JiHan became quiet. There weren¡¯t even the sound of footsteps or his voice. For a long time, it waspletely silent.


    What is he doing?


    Even lying in this one position was making my back ache. What state would JiHan be if he was standing there during this whole time.


    No, is he even there? Maybe he left without me realizing it?


    I prayed that this was the case and slowly peeked through my eyshes. Contrary to my wishes, JiHan was still there. He looked to be kneeling with his head bowed down.


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    Without realizing it, I opened my eyes wide. I could see clearly now that JiHan was indeed kneeling next to the bed.


    ¡°What, what are you doing?¡± I asked while getting up.


    JiHan raised his head. For a moment, he looked to be surprised to find me awake. He soon went back to lowering his head. With a quiet voice, he replied, ¡°I¡¯m repenting.¡±


    ¡°What? For what?¡± I asked.


    ¡°For making the decision about having a child by myself for thest month,¡± he said ¡°I stole your freedom of choice and forced my opinions on you. I¡¯m repenting.¡±


    ¡°Then... Are you going to do as I wish?¡± I asked him filled with high expectations.


    I wasn¡¯t sure if I understood him correctly. JiHan shook his head. He suddenly stopped shaking his head and looked up at me. He looked to have thought things through thoroughly and answered me with a serious expression, ¡°I¡¯m not just following your wishes, I want to find align our wishes. Between you and me. Not just for this, but for all things moving forward. I will no longer force you to live the future I envision. From now on, we will discuss and decide together.¡±


    Is this a dream? My wish hase true exactly as I had hoped. Yes, this has to be a dream.


    Certain of the fact, Iid myself back down and pulled up the covers.


    If I¡¯m dreaming, there¡¯s no point in dreaming standing up. Let¡¯s dreamfortablyying down.


    I closed my eyes and tried to continue the dream. I was happy even if this was a dream, and I didn¡¯t want this happy dream to ever end.


    When I opened my eyes again, I realized that this had not been a dream. Even though night had turned into day, JiHan was still in the same position.


    ¡°Ah! You¡¯re crazy! Were you like this the whole night!¡± I ran to him as I came back to my senses. I kneeled down in front of the still kneeling JiHan, grabbed his arm and raised him up. ¡°You should have just woke me up! Ah, really... Making me feel bad.¡±


    I felt so sorry that I didn¡¯t know what to do to make up for it.


    ¡°I was nning to do this all night anyways,¡± he said.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°The fought 16 times over the baby issue in thest month,¡± he said. ¡°I would estimate it at about 10 hours. During those times, I only thought about myself and forced it on you. I wanted to reflect for the same number of hours.¡±


    ¡°Oh, why would you bother even counting that!¡± I scolded hitting him on the back. ¡°You forbid me to kneel, and here you are doing it! Hurry, get up!¡±


    This is how it felt to see this. No wonder he forbade me to do it.


    I came to the realization through the experience and went to help JiHan stand back up. But, he didn¡¯t move a muscle other than his lips.


    ¡°Before I get up, there is one final thing I want to be stubborn about,¡± he said.


    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Can we postpone having a child for just one year, no, half a year... Can we?¡± His tone was too careful to take as being stubborn. He sounded like he would give up immediately if I refused.


    ¡°Why do you want to do that?¡± I asked.


    JiHan continued hugging me and whispered his answer into my ear. ¡°Before you make a baby, I want to make your body first. It will be hard on your body for the several months you are pregnant, so I want to make sure you can support your health ordingly. Plus, it¡¯s only been a few months since your y ended. I don¡¯t think it would be wise to get pregnant right away. What do you think?¡±


    I felt no sense of stubbornness in his opinion or his tone. I only felt his consideration. I nodded my head and easily replied, ¡°Yes. I think that¡¯s a good idea.¡±


    Reaching apromise easily, JiHan let out a sigh of relief. It was as if the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders.


    ¡°Then, we¡¯ll go to the hospitalter to get a checkup,¡± he said. ¡°Let¡¯s see what your situation is as of now.¡±


    I nodded in agreement to his n. Of course, it was a n I had no reason to refuse. But, I felt that if he would continue in such a manner, I would nod to any of his decisions even if it was something I was against. For example, if he had said let¡¯s not have a baby... Even if JiHan had said those words and I had nodded in agreement, in a few hours, it wouldn¡¯t have made much difference.


    ***


    ¡°You¡¯re already pregnant,¡± the doctor said to us.


    We stared nkly at him.


    ¡°You can¡¯t ask me if it will be OK to get pregnant when you already are,¡± the doctor teased yfully.


    ¡°That can¡¯t be possible. We always used contraceptives ...¡± JiHan told the doctor unable to believe what he told us.


    The doctor checked his chart and was quiet in thought for a moment. ¡°Well, you are definitely pregnant. Checking the state of the fetus and Na AhJung¡¯s menstrual cycle, I would say it¡¯s been about a month.¡±


    The doctor lifted his head and asked JiHan, ¡°You do know that using a condom is not 100% effective? Plus, I¡¯ve given you a special lecture regarding it, so you should be fully aware. I¡¯m sure I pointed out the cases in which that can happen?¡±


    JiHan didn¡¯t look like he was even listening to the doctor. He seemed to be lost in thought over the mysterious turn of events.


    ¡°One month ago...¡± The memory of that night formed inside his head.


    ¡°Look for them more carefully. We should have some left. I counted it thest time.¡±


    ¡°There were a couple left, but we used it all yesterday. They ripped a few times in the middle.¡±


    That had been the night after myst day of the y, exactly one month ago.


    ¡°Oh! Then!¡± I yelled as JiHan jumped in surprise and looked at me. ¡°That night, when we did it for the first time in a month! It ripped while we were in the middle of it. It could have been....¡±


    At my words, JiHan shot up. ¡°What! I was so careful then! I had resolved the situation quickly! It can¡¯t be!¡±


    The doctor said in a calm voice to us, ¡°Lee JiHan. You can¡¯t help those who are lucky.¡±


    ¡°What?!¡± JiHan turned his head toward the doctor, yelling in a pitchy tone.


    The doctor smiled with an amused expression. ¡°The few seconds of a condom breaking can do it. Sometimes, even those who had a vasectomy can do it. So, just tell yourself, ¡®Oh, I¡¯m just that lucky of a guy¡¯ and ept your fate.¡±


    I could hear Beethoven¡¯s symphony ringing in my head. Was it just me?

 Chapter 55

    <h4>Chapter 55</h4>


    After hearing how I should care for myself during the beginning stages of pregnancy, I exited the doctor¡¯s office feeling dazed.


    There¡¯s a baby in here... I touched my belly unable to believe it as JiHan followed me out the door muttering under his breath.


    ¡°Wow... JiHan, what was the point of us arguing for thest month?¡± I asked him feeling both happy and surprised.


    Suddenly, JiHan plopped onto the floor.


    ¡°JiHan?¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t... You shouldn¡¯t yet... My AhJung is not ready yet... Already...¡± JiHan mumbled as if he¡¯dpletely lost it.


    ¡°JiHan, Lee JiHan!¡± I shook him by the shoulder trying to snap him out of it.


    As his eyes locked onto mine, tears started to well up. ¡°I... I happen to be that lucky guy...¡±


    Is this man crying right now? He¡¯s crying?


    I froze at the shocking sight, and I felt my heart go out to him.


    ¡°Come on, this is not something to cry about.¡± I kneeled in front of JiHan and hugged him. ¡°Well, actually it is something to cry about but usually people cry because they are overwhelmed by happiness. Not like this, because they are sad. This is something you cry about because you are so incredibly happy. ¡°Are you not happy JiHan?¡±


    At my question, JiHan pulled himself away from the hug and faced me. With tears in his eyes, he replied, ¡°Right now... I envy seahorses.¡±


    ¡°Seahorses?¡±


    ¡°For seahorses, the male gets pregnant. But, I can¡¯t do that,¡± he said.


    I had known that fact about seahorses, but I never imagined there would be a man envious of that. As I sat there at a loss for words, JiHan continued in remorse.


    ¡°I can¡¯t even do that for you, and I wasn¡¯t even able to give you time to prepare yourself,¡± he said ¡°My AhJung was supposed to have half a year to prepare...¡±


    ¡°JiHan! I¡¯m strong enough now too,¡± I said confidently squeezing JiHan¡¯s shoulders. ¡°I¡¯m going to protect this baby, and I¡¯m going to have a good birth! Trust me. There¡¯s nothing to worry about!¡±


    I spoke without fear because I wasn¡¯t afraid. For some unknown reason, I seemed to be emanating bravery from my every orifice.


    JiHan looked at me as if fascinated by this unexpected attitude of mine. He rubbed his hands against his face. When he put down his hands, his expression changed to that of determination.


    ¡°I¡¯m not going to worry.¡± His eyes sparkled with purpose. He ced his hands over mine. ¡°I¡¯m going to make sure you will be able to protect your baby and have a good birth. I promise you. I¡¯m not going to worry.¡±


    Looking at JiHan filled with a renewed confidence, I nodded. I told him with my eyes that I would not worry either.


    JiHan looked down at my belly and ced his hand there. ¡°Since luck made me a dad, I¡¯m going to be a great dad.¡± He smiled, finally feeling the joy of the news. His smile was of one who had great expectations and excitement about bing a dad. ¡°Our baby will be as happy as I am.¡±


    I entwined my fingers around JiHan¡¯s hand brimming with happiness. Then, I entwined my lips onto his.


    I will not be happier than this person. I will make this person just as happy as I am.


    I ryed this thought not through words but through my kiss. Through my closed eyes, I could envision the bright future of these three people. I hoped that Lee JiHan was seeing this vision too. I didn¡¯t doubt for a second that he couldn¡¯t.


    ***


    Early in the morning, the sound of throwing up rang through the bathroom.


    ¡°Goldie, what are we going to do about your dad?¡± I sat in a wheelchair in front of the bathroom door talking to my baby bump. ¡°I, the mother, don¡¯t even get morning sickness, so why are you, the dad, getting it... And, from the first month until now.¡±


    Figures. He couldn¡¯t handle a measly cockroach, so I¡¯m sure I have a stronger stomach than him. But still, a man having morning sickness, and for nine months. That¡¯s rare. He is one rare man.


    ¡°JiHan, open the door. I can at least pat your back for you,¡± I said as I knocked on the locked door.


    The door still did not open. However, JiHan¡¯s voice rang from behind the door. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about me and go eat. My morning sickness is like a cough. I¡¯m just coughing with my mouth, my body isn¡¯t... Ooh ek!¡±


    He told me to ride around a wheelchair because my knees might hurt, but he pretended like he was fine when he was miserable. Worried out of my mind, I didn¡¯t have the heart to leave the door.


    The sound of retching went on for a while. When the vomiting subsided, JiHan finally came out of the bathroom. He frowned when he found me still waiting in front of the bathroom door. He hurriedly walked behind me and pushed the wheelchair into the kitchen.


    ¡°You can keep the mask on while you¡¯re cooking,¡± I said. ¡°You keep taking it off to taste the food, so you keep getting sick.¡±


    ¡°How can I cook without tasting the food?¡± he asked. ¡°Especially for food that my AhJung and my son will be eating.¡±


    ¡°Then, don¡¯t cook at all! Why do you insist on making breakfast when it triggers your morning sickness? Just let our housemaid do it.¡± I said in an upset tone as I was being wheeled away to the kitchen.


    We arrived at the dining table. JiHan sat me in the chair and argued stubbornly. ¡°I can¡¯t make lunch or dinner for you because of work. If I¡¯m not even allowed to make you breakfast, then I¡¯m going to use maternity leave.¡±


    ¡°A man isn¡¯t allowed to use maternity leave,¡± I said.


    ¡°I¡¯ll show you what I¡¯m allowed to do or not,¡± he retorted.


    I closed my mouth knowing he fully had the capability to do anything he pleased.


    I¡¯m sure he will restructure thepany¡¯s benefit program so that he can use it. No, in the worst case scenario, he may just quit altogether...


    I grabbed my spoon as my anxiety increased. ¡°No, I don¡¯t want you to show me. I¡¯ll just be content with watching my husband suffer every morning. I only have to endure it for a week more so be it. Once I give birth, then your morning sickness should stop. It wouldn¡¯t continue afterwards, would it?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure it will end by then.¡± JiHan sat in the chair next to mine but turned his body topletely face me.


    For his sake, I ate the food he cooked with fervor. Soon, there was not a single grain of rice left in my bowl. JiHan then went to get the plum tea. My appetite had not decreased, but the plum tea helped with my weakened digestion.


    He poured me a cup of the tea that he made himself from scratch. He removed his mask and gave me a peck on the cheek.


    ¡°Oh, it still smells like food! What if you start getting sick again!¡± I hurriedly ced the mask back on his face.


    JiHan¡¯s face had thinned significantly after suffering from the morning sickness for the past nine months. Still, he smiled and kissed me. His face was as radiant as ever. I smiled as I closed my eyes.


    His long kiss was telling me how grateful he was of me enduring the nine months of pregnancy without being sick once. So, I didn¡¯t push him away. I replied back with my own kiss that I loved him for loving me unconditionally for these nine months.


    Oh... But, why does my stomach hurt so much?


    ***


    It was still a week before the due date, but my water had already broken. I cried the entire way to the doctor¡¯s office.


    Ow! This is why JiHan was so against this. This is why he said to not have a baby!


    It hurt so much that I couldn¡¯t even move. How am I alive when I¡¯m in this much pain. Why am I not passing out.


    ¡°Knock me out...¡± I moaned in a dying voice.


    ¡°No we can¡¯t. If you faint now, it will put both of you at risk. Just wait five more minutes,¡± JiHan said desperately as he drove.


    He gripped the handle, concentrated hard, and continued to drive fast but safely avoiding all obstacles. Like superman going to save the world, JiHan¡¯s eyes were fiery.


    Yes. He will definitely protect us. Me and our son, both.


    I grasped the seat belt using all my power to not faint. If something bad happened to me, then something bad would happen to both my son and husband. I would protect the both of them.


    ***


    They say the babyes when the sky turns yellow. For me, the sky was dyed in gold.


    Anyways, I passed the moment where the sky changed color and finally returned back to a normal-colored reality. That¡¯s when I saw my son¡¯s face for the first time. That moment made me feel as if the world was sparkling in gold once again.


    As JiHan carefully handed my son over to me, I instinctively embraced him in my arms. The baby that had been squirming about and ying in my belly was now squirming in my arms.


    Oh... This is why I gave birth. So that I could be this happy.


    No one could fully exin the feeling. Without experiencing it, you would never know this sort of unfathomable happiness. Tears fell down my face as I held my child.


    JiHan hugged me. ¡°My AhJung, I thought you were going to die... I was so afraid you would die that I thought I was going to die...¡±


    Holding me as I cried, JiHan sobbed with me. Still holding tightly onto my son, I buried my face into JiHan and asked him quietly, ¡°I didn¡¯t die, but why does it feel like this is heaven?¡±


    JiHan nodded in agreement, hugging me tighter. For a long time, we stayed that way. It was as if we were one being, the three of us intertwined as a family.


    Finally, I wiped my tears in JiHan¡¯s embrace and looked over my baby¡¯s face. He already looked like his dad. With his beautiful face, I knew I could look at him forever. In my heart, I made him a promise.


    Thank you foring out a week early so your dad won¡¯t be sick anymore. Our Goldie. I will love you as much as your dad loves your mom. I will realize your potential. I will trust that you good things will happen for you. I will act in ways that will make sure you will live a long and happy life. Then, you will be a happy person who will know how to love yourself. You might be wondering how I could be so confident to believe I can do this. I don¡¯t have to believe it. I just know. I know the power that this sort of love has to change a person. Your dad made me change by giving me that kind of love.

 Chapter 56

    <h4>Chapter 56</h4>


    Do you think there is a person that would not get sick of eating seaweed soup three meals a day, every day, for thest two weeks? Fifteen days after giving birth, the meal sitting on the dining table was again seaweed soup. I shook my head in dismay.


    I¡¯m sick of it. Of course, I¡¯d be sick of it. I ate it nonstop. If I wasn¡¯t sick of it, I wouldn¡¯t be human. Even if it was the best tasting thing in the world, it would be perfectly normal to get sick of eating the same meal three times a day.


    From anyone¡¯s perspective, and as a logical progression, such a reaction was expected. I scooped up a spoonful and put it in my mouth. The soup slid down my throat. I smacked my lips.


    But, why am I not sick of it?


    Unlike the deep beef voring of the seaweed soup served the previous day, this soup refreshing and clean. How can it taste so good in a different way each day? And, for two weeks?


    Fascinated, I swallowed another spoonful. JiHan looked at me with a pleased expression on his face.


    ¡°The seaweed soup was made with tilefish,¡± he said. ¡°Don¡¯t just drink the soup, eat it with the fish.¡±


    ¡°Tilefish seaweed soup? Oh, this is tilefish?¡± I scooped the white meat of the fish onto my spoon.


    JiHan nodded. ¡°I boiled the stock with wild tilefish and deboned the meat. Don¡¯t worry about the bones. Just eat itfortably.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve never tried tilefish before!¡± I was so excited that I chewed the meat, savoring its vor. Like snow melting on my tongue, the meat of the fish was soft. It dissolved over my tongue. ¡°Wow! This! It tastes like December¡¯s first snow! It melts in my mouth, absolutely melts!¡±


    My eyes widened in surprise. I shoveled the soup and rice into my mouth. Finallying back to my senses, I looked up at JiHan¡¯s expression and found him smiling brightly.


    ¡°How is it possible to make a different type of seaweed soup for two weeks straight? And make it this delicious?¡± I asked.


    Beef, chicken, abalone, oyster, sesame...There were so many different types, I couldn¡¯t even memorize them all.


    ¡°With this skill, you could probably open a restaurant specializing in seaweed soup,¡± I said. ¡°The fun is in choosing, Seaweed Soup Robbins 31. If you promote a franchise like this, you¡¯ll hit the jackpot!¡±


    ¡°It might be difficult toe up with 31 vors,¡± JiHan said while pouring me a ss of water. ¡°It¡¯s important for the mother to eat this for a month after giving birth, so I¡¯m doing my best to create different menus so you won¡¯t get sick of it.¡±


    Feeling a bit guilty for making him go through the trouble, I shook my head in apology.


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to go that far,¡± I said. ¡°You¡¯ve already made 15 varieties. If you just repeat through them another 15 times, it will fill up the rest of the month. You don¡¯t have to go through any more trouble. Just remake the ones you¡¯ve already made me.¡±


    While pushing the ss of water toward me, JiHan replied, ¡°You went through all the trouble of giving birth by yourself, so I¡¯ll make sure you don¡¯t through any more trouble while we are raising the baby. Not one bit, none.¡±


    ¡°Getting a little bit sick of eating seaweed soup is not that much trouble,¡± I said.


    ¡°And, you think cooking seaweed soup in different ways is that much trouble?¡± JiHan¡¯s smile told me I was worrying over nothing.


    ¡°It looks to be a lot of trouble....¡±


    Before I could finish my retort, the sound of a baby crying could be heard from the bedroom. Realizing JungHan was awake, I started to get up.


    JiHan stood up faster and strongly said, ¡°I will care for the baby. You concentrate on your meal.¡±


    He shot me an expression that made it seem like I would get in trouble has he hurried over to the bedroom. With his long legs, he swiftly slipped into the bedroom and closed the door.


    Is it really OK for me not to go? I stared at the closed door in worry, but the muffled sound of crying soon became silent. Oh, I was worried for nothing.


    He had memorized every detail of every parenting book there was. He even went to get hands-on training from an expert. Who was I to worry about him?


    Grinning, I continued to put the white fish, which was reminiscent of December snow, into my mouth. As the worry in my heart melted, the soft white flesh melted deliciously over my tongue.


    ***


    From the moment I had given birth until the two weeks I spent in natal care, JiHan personally cooked every meal for me. His efforts extended to the two weeks afterward when we had returned home. Even though we were using a housekeeper, cooking and child care was strictly JiHan¡¯s duty. He had been on paternal leave from hispany for the six months.


    A month after our Goldie¡¯s birth, JiKyung finally came to visit. He had been unable to due to his many business trips. He must havee the moment he got off work because I could see the exhaustion on his face when he arrived.


    Even though he looked like he should instantly lie down, JiKyung took off his shoes and immediately asked for his nephew. ¡°Is JungHan sleeping?¡±


    ¡°No, he just woke up,¡± I said.


    ¡°Where? In the bedroom?¡± he asked.


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    At my answer, JiKyung moved toward the bedroom.


    ¡°Wait, wait!¡± I grabbed JiKyung¡¯s arm as he passed me.


    JiKyung stopped and looked at me, asking me what was wrong with his eyes.


    ¡°You should wash your hands first,¡± I said.


    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s right,¡± JiKyung said.


    Understanding what I meant, he changed his direction to the bathroom. A few momentster after having washed his hands cleanly, he looked at me curiously.


    ¡°I never thought you cared so much for cleanliness,¡± he said. ¡°Being a mother, sure makes you different.¡±


    ¡°Of course! I¡¯m a mother now so a mother has to at least do this much!¡± I nodded confidently with my shoulders spread wide. I chicly added, ¡°Forget the girl that squashed cockroaches with a knife.¡±


    I led JiKyung to the bedroom. JiHan must have beening out of the bedroom at the same time because we stopped face to face from each other.


    JiHan had his arms crossed as he observed us diligently. ¡°Did you wash your hands?¡±


    ¡°Of course! JiKyung almost forgot, but I reminded him,¡± I answered with pride.


    JiHan looked over at JiKyung and asked, ¡°Did she wash her hands?¡±


    Huh? Me?


    ¡°Oh, right!¡±


    I hade out to wash my hands when I had gotten distracted by the doorbell. Coming to the realization, I quickly headed to the bathroom.


    ***


    Having only lived a mere month, our son was lying peacefully in his crib blinking at us. Surrounded by three people¡¯s heads watching him could have been a scary sight for a baby, but JungHan didn¡¯t seem to be frightened. He looked up at us serenely.


    ¡°He looks just like JiHan when he was a baby,¡± JiKyung said in a fascinated tone.


    ¡°But, his personality is theplete opposite,¡± I said. ¡°He¡¯s so docile. He doesn¡¯t cry. He eats well, and he sleeps well. It¡¯s such a relief that he only looks like his dad.¡±


    JiKyung looked at me with a confused expression as I bragged about my son. He replied, ¡°Hmm? Actually no? JiHan was docile as a baby too. Just like JungHan.¡±


    ¡°What?!¡± I was shocked.


    ¡°He didn¡¯t cry, ate well, and slept well,¡± JiKyung said. ¡°JiHan was just like that when he was a baby.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± I still found it hard to believe.


    ¡°Really. He was so docile that both our mother and nanny had an easy time with him,¡± he said.


    ¡°So, why is his personality like this now...¡±


    There was a time when Lee JiHan was docile. I looked at him unwilling to believe it. JiHan shrugged as I looked at him suspiciously. It was as if he understood why I wasn¡¯t able to believe it.


    Across from us, JiKyung said, ¡°Maybe it¡¯s a trait passed down in our family to grow up and have apletely different personality than when we were a baby. They told me that I was incredibly sensitive. They said they¡¯ve never seen such a troublesome baby.¡±


    ¡°You?!¡± I stared at JiKyung in shock.


    He smiled at me with a sparkle in his eyes. ¡°I guarantee that JungHan will grow up to be exactly like his dad, sensitive and picky. The most troublesome little boy ever.¡±


    I remembered back to the time when JiHan had not been in love with me. He had been incredibly sensitive and bothered me extensively. That nightmarish memory shed before me. A chill ran up my spine.


    ¡°Hey, don¡¯t try to scare me!¡± I got trying to shake off the fear. ¡°Just because he looks like him, it doesn¡¯t mean he will have the same personality. JungHan will have my personality.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± JiKyung said. ¡°If he looks that much like his father, I really think his personality will be the same.¡±


    ¡°No way! He¡¯s my son too,¡± I retorted ¡°He must take after something of mine!¡±


    ¡°Well, I¡¯m sure he¡¯ll have one thing.¡± JiKyung nodded in agreement. ¡°But, the one thing that he can take after you could be his height.¡±


    His casual statement felt like being struck by lightning.


    My height? My son will have my height?


    I swayed as if I¡¯d really been struck by lightning. JiHan grabbed my shoulder to steady me. I looked up at him with a sad face.


    JiHan didn¡¯t looked bothered at all and said to JiKyung, ¡°What¡¯s wrong with my AhJung¡¯s height?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡± I blinked, not knowing what he was talking about.


    JiKyung immediately replied, ¡°What¡¯s wrong is that she¡¯s short, small, petite.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s my AhJung¡¯s charm. If my son takes after that, then he will be cute in his own way,¡± JiHan said without a hint that he was lying or being sarcastic.


    His ability to make what I thought was a w into my charm made my heart melt. At one point, I decided to think of his stubbornness as a charm of his.... No, I still don¡¯t want to experience that from my son! Nor do I want him to have my short height!


    ¡°No! My son can¡¯t be like that!¡± I yelled in refusal as I squeezed JiHan¡¯s arm. ¡°He¡¯ll be cute if he has my height? Don¡¯t you dare say such a thing! What you say wille true!¡±


    I looked him straight in the eyes. JiHan stared back as if he couldn¡¯t see what the problem was.


    ¡°No way! He can¡¯t! Never!¡± I shook him by the cor to engrave it in his head. ¡°Our son can¡¯t have my height!¡±

 Chapter 57

    <h4>Chapter 57</h4>


    Although the person who started this had already left, I couldn¡¯t get the horrifying thought out of my head.


    What will I do if my son is short like me... If my son is short...


    I sat on the bed worrying, shaking my legs nervously. I was so worried that I bit the nail of my thumb, a habit I had broken since I got married.


    JiHan had holding a towel and sat next to me, holding my hand. &quot;Stop worrying.&quot;


    &quot;What?&quot;


    &quot;We¡¯ll have to wait and see how tall he gets as he gets older,&quot; he said. &quot;What¡¯s the point of worrying about it now? Even if he does end up a little short, there isn¡¯t any harm in it.&quot;


    &quot;But, I want him to be tall,&quot; I said. &quot;Being short was myplex. I don¡¯t want my son to feel the way I did.&quot;


    JiHan threw the towel over his shoulder and reached for my waist. When his hands grabbed the ends of my T-shirt, I already knew what he was going to do. It was a service I received daily. Reflexively, I raised my arms as he took the T-shirt off me.


    &quot;It¡¯s better to just get rid of yourplex,&quot; JiHan said.


    As Iid my head down over hisp, I replied, &quot;You can say that because you don¡¯t know the sorrow of a person with short legs.&quot;


    JiHan ced the towel from his shoulder onto my bare chest. As the warm towel touched my skin, I could feel my body rxing. Soon, the massage would start. I smiled in expectation. His hands stroked my cheeks.


    &quot;I don¡¯t know how that feels,&quot; JiHan said looking into my eyes. &quot;But, I do know that the most lovable legs in the world to me are my AhJung¡¯s legs.&quot;


    Feeling my self-esteem rise, I tried to change my perspective.


    &quot;I¡¯m this cute because I¡¯m this short, right?&quot; I asked with a shrug.


    JiHan smiled, pleased with my new outlook.


    Although I did get a boost from JiHan¡¯spliment, I wanted to hear. I pointed to my stomach. &quot;But, this b on my belly is unsightly, isn¡¯t it? I wish I could hurry up and lose it. What will I do if I can¡¯t get rid of it?&quot;


    My stomach had not retracted fully from being stretched out from the pregnancy. In Lee JiHan¡¯s eyes, it would still look pretty. My eyes sparkled as I waited confidently.


    Tell me it is! This stomach is pretty! Tell me that I don¡¯t ever have to lose it!


    JiHan answered, &quot;There¡¯s no way that will not go away.&quot;


    &quot;What did you say?&quot; I asked.


    &quot;It will have to go away,&quot; he said.


    I became numb at the unexpected statement.


    &quot;We¡¯ll start exercising again soon,&quot; JiHan said &quot;I will help you get back in shape. We can get rid of that soon. I¡¯ll help you, so don¡¯t worry.&quot;


    As if getting rid of my b was a new motive for him, JiHan ced his hands on my chest in determination. He started to massage my chest. He had learned the massage from an expert who imed that it was good for mothers who were breastfeeding. Due to his lessons, his touch was soft and sensitive. He loosened the stiffened muscles with just the right amount of strength. However, my heart was stiffening rock solid.


    I thought he would tell me this stomach was beautiful and say that I never had to get rid of it! Why do I have to lose it? Why? Does he not like looking at it now? I have to get rid of it?


    I exploded in anger. &quot;I thought you said I didn¡¯t have to lose weight? Do you want me to lose weight? Why?


    &quot;Aren¡¯t you the one who said you wanted to lose weight?&quot; JiHan asked with confusion.


    &quot;Of course I want to lose it, but do you think I should lose it fast? You want me to?&quot; I asked. &quot;I thought you would think I wouldn¡¯t have to...&quot;


    As high as my expectations were, my disappointment was just as devastating. Tears started falling.


    What? This isn¡¯t worth crying over? I¡¯m not that disappointed am I?


    Even though I knew in my head that this didn¡¯t make sense, I couldn¡¯t help the overwhelming feeling of sadness washing over me.


    &quot;Ohh, why am I getting all teary eyed?&quot; I frowned thinking how ridiculous this was.


    JiHan calmly answered, &quot;It¡¯s because you¡¯re hormones are out of bnce after giving birth.&quot;


    &quot;Hormones?&quot;


    &quot;Usually after giving birth, you¡¯ll feel sad over little things and depressed,&quot; JiHan exined with understanding eyes. &quot;That¡¯s normal. Your changing hormones are making you feel that way. They don¡¯t call it postpartum depression for no reason.&quot;


    True. There were times after giving birth where I felt depressed. In those times, I felt like all the energy was sucked out of me. I wanted to just sit staring at the floor. Fortunately, when it did happen, JiHan was always next to me. So, the feeling didn¡¯tst very long.


    That was probably why I had forgotten that I should be careful of postpartum depression. I forgot I could easily be affected by those changing hormones.


    &quot;Even if it is due to the hormones, I feel like I was acting so weird just then,&quot; I said, wiping my tears.


    &quot;Even if you are weird, you are still cute, so it¡¯s OK,&quot; he said.


    &quot;This is cute? This?&quot; I asked in disbelief.


    JiHan nodded and ced his hand over my stomach. &quot;This is cute too.&quot;


    &quot;Really?&quot;


    &quot;Really.&quot;


    &quot;Then is it OK if I never get rid of it?&quot; I asked.


    &quot;I¡¯m fine if you grow it, so do whatever you please.&quot; JiHan looked at me and smiled softly.


    Yes! This is what I¡¯m talking about! I wanted to hear this!


    I grinned widely as the endorphins danced through my system. Not only did he say I didn¡¯t have to lose the weight, he said I could gain it. His answer surpassed my expectations. When I expected one thing, he gave me 10. Immensely happy, I raised my arms and wrapped them around him.


    Realizing what I was doing, he leaned in closer and kissed me on the forehead. His lips tickled me like soft flower petals. My mind melted into nothingness so that I almost forgot.


    Oh, I was going to do this.


    I regained myposure and lifted my head slightly to ce a kiss on his forehead. Iid back down on hisp and looked up at his face.


    Does he feel the way I do? Did my kiss feel just as extraordinary as his?


    To answer my curiosity, JiHan showed me his answer. His face broke out in a huge smile. That was answer enough.


    &quot;Ah... I really want to be all over you,&quot; I mumbled, lost in my happiness.


    JiHan scornfully replied, &quot;No. You¡¯re not in a state to do that yet.&quot;


    &quot;Oh, I know,&quot; I said. &quot;We have to resist having rtions for three months. You didn¡¯t really think I would do it, did you? I¡¯m just saying that I feel that way.&quot;


    I pouted feeling the barriers of our reality.


    &quot;There is exactly 59 days, 14 hours, and 30 minutes left,&quot; he said.


    &quot;What?&quot;


    &quot;59 days, 14 hours, and 30 minutes is how much longer we have to wait,&quot; JiHan repeated.


    Wow... He has it down to the minutes?


    My jaw dropped as he held my two hands.


    &quot;We¡¯ll wait, like we¡¯re waiting for our pottery toe out of the oven. Until that day,&quot; JiHan said with fiery eyes and determination.


    Not only were his eyes on fire, but I could feel the heat emanating off his hands. Unlike his facade, he must have been burning up inside. He was probably burning up more than I was.


    After the honeymoon, we had enjoyed numerous nights of campfires. Reminiscing over those times, I resisted my urges.


    If he can resist! Then who says I can¡¯t?


    &quot;Alright! Let¡¯s resist together!&quot; I clenched my fists tightly determined not to lose to him.


    I decided to set my phone rm to ring in 59 days, 14 hours, and 30 minutes.


    ***


    On a sunny afternoon, 59 days, 14 hours, and 20 minutester, I paced the living room gripping my phone. I was waiting for the rm to go off in 10 minutes.


    Next to me, JiHan was sitting on the sofa holding JungHan who seemed to be refusing to go to sleep. He patted JungHan softly on his chest and read him something in a quiet voice. If you weren¡¯t paying close attention, it sounded like he was reading him a fairytale. In reality, it was the economy section in the newspaper.


    &quot;S Electronics has registered $10 billion in the first quarter and $15 billion in the second quarter, marking the highest revenue up to date. Securities investors are predicting S Electronics to surpassst month¡¯s revenues and seek to...&quot;


    He read the newspaper daily. Now, it seemed more boring than usual. I, as the adult, couldn¡¯t help but yawn, so how could JungHan still be awake with those brightly opened eyes?


    I paced back and forth. It didn¡¯t seem that JungHan would ever fall asleep.


    &quot;Why did you set the D-day to be so exact?&quot; I asked &quot;If you just set it for 59 days, then we could have already finished and be done with it.&quot;


    &quot;I¡¯m regretting it now too.&quot; JiHan¡¯s face showed deep frown lines at the realization of the seriousness of the situation. &quot;Still it¡¯s too early to give up. We have 10 minutes left.&quot;


    &quot;My gut feeling tells me that our kid won¡¯t be falling asleep in 10 minutes,&quot; I said.


    &quot;Fortunately, your gut feeling isn¡¯t very trustworthy,&quot; he replied.


    Was that supposed to be fortunate or was he just mocking me? Not altogether happy about the situation, I continued to observe JiHan. Out of the blue, my phone started to vibrate.


    &quot;What! It¡¯s already been 10 minutes?&quot; I checked my phone in surprise, but my prediction was incorrect. My phone was not ringing because of the rm.


    ***


    To answer the phone, AhJung ran to the bedroom. It was a call from the theater, so it was probably work rted. I hoped that it was good news. I also hoped that by the time that she returned, our son would be fast asleep.


    It seemed my plea had been heard. In my arms, JungHan blinked slowly and yawned. Iughed seeing that his widest yawn was merely the size of my thumb. After he finished his yawn, JungHan did not open his eyes. He quietly fell asleep.


    I waited a moment to make sure he fell into a deep sleep before carefully putting him down in the nursery. At that moment, my phone started to vibrate. Upon checking it, I found that the rm was going off. It was a moment of release.


    I turned off the rm, put down my phone, and threw off my cardigan. AhJung¡¯s rm must have rang too, so she¡¯lle running soon. Waiting, I unbuttoned my sleeve buttons. Unlike my expectations, her footsteps could not be heard. Even after I had undid two of my cor buttons, she was nowhere to be seen.


    &quot;Is it something important?&quot; I mumbled, disgruntled and frowning. &quot;Is there really something more important than this?&quot;


    What is it? Not wanting to wake JungHan, I yelled this in my head.


    I got up and headed to the bedroom. AhJung was running quickly to the door when she met me.


    &quot;JiHan!&quot; She hugged me with a face filled with happiness. &quot;I got a part in a drama!&quot;


    &quot;Drama? Really?&quot; I asked upon hearing the unexpected good news.


    AhJung nodded excitedly in my arms. &quot;The call came to the theater. I guess the writer came to see my yst year. They said we start shooting next month. They told me to take a look at the synopsis and give them a call if I like it. Wow, isn¡¯t this amazing?&quot;


    She jumped up and down in excitement. I felt ecstatic for her and smiled widely.


    I rubbed my hand on her back and said in a calm voice, &quot;It¡¯s not amazing, it¡¯s something that was bound to happen. With my AhJung¡¯s skill, getting a call was bound to happen.&quot;


    I was happy to hear the good news, but I had already known it would only be a matter of time that this would happen.


    &quot;Amazing would be winning best actress or filming a Hollywood movie,&quot; I said.


    &quot;All right, all right! We¡¯ll just say you¡¯re right. Oh! We should hurry and take a look at the synopsis,&quot; AhJung said and turned away from me.


    &quot;Hey, wait.&quot;


    I tried to grab her arm, but she was so fast I missed her. She sprinted to the bedroom where theptop was sitting on the table.


    &quot;You¡¯re not going to check the synopsis now, are you?&quot; I asked frowning.


    &quot;Of course! Aren¡¯t you curious?&quot; AhJung answered while turning on theptop


    She didn¡¯t even look at me. It was as if I wasn¡¯t even there.


    &quot;AhJung, three minutes have already passed for our moment of release,&quot; I said.


    &quot;Oh, let me just read the synopsis first. First the synopsis.&quot; Not taking her eyes off the notebook, she brushed me off.


    &quot;Is that really more important right now?!&quot; I asked.


    &quot;What?&quot; Surprised by my angered tone, AhJung jumped and looked up at me.


    &quot;The emergency is over here! You have to take out this fire first!&quot; I pounded at my chest with my fist. &quot;That¡¯s important? That? Is that a three-minute mail? If you don¡¯t open it within three minutes, is theptop going to explode?&quot;


    &quot;No, it¡¯s... I was just so curious about the synopsis,&quot; she replied.


    &quot;You¡¯re curious about your first synopsis, but you aren¡¯t curious about me?&quot; I asked.


    &quot;What?&quot;


    My anger rose as time passed, and my voice grew louder with it. &quot;You¡¯ve seen all of me already so there¡¯s nothing left to be curious about me, is that what you¡¯re saying? So our campfire time got pushed back in priority?!&quot;


    I got pushed to the sidelines! I¡¯m not No. 1 anymore! Is her love for me cooling down?!


    My head was filled with so much anger and suspicion that I red at AhJung.


    Scared, she jumped up with wide eyes and replied, &quot;No! Of course not!&quot; She quickly closed theptop then hugged my waist. &quot;I was just afraid that if we did our campfire first, everything in my head right now would burn up and disappear from my memory! I was worried I¡¯ forget that I received this synopsis and to check it.&quot;


    She propped her chin on my chest and smiled cutely. &quot;Now that I think about it, if I see the synopsis before the campfire, what I read will probably just burn away anyways. Let¡¯s just trust JiHan to remember it for me! Let¡¯s do it now!&quot;


    She buried her face into my chest. Her action was like an iron, unwrinkling my frowning face.


    I broke out into a smile. &quot;You sure know how to talk. I want to listen to you forever.&quot;


    Not even remembering what I was mad about, I hugged AhJung tightly. Having no reason to hesitate any longer, I lifted her up and moved to the bed.

 Chapter 58

    <h4>Chapter 58</h4>


    After the campfire, we sat side by side in front of theptop to check the synopsis.


    AhJung¡¯s role in the drama was not the main character. She wasn¡¯t a supporting role with arge part either. It was just a character that showed up once in a while from time to time. Her role was the main character¡¯s work colleague.


    Truthfully, this didn¡¯t meet my expectations. AhJung is a great actress. When she is acting, she is a shining gem. But, I could only see her for a mere five minutes per hour-long episode? It¡¯s not a shame just for me, it¡¯s a shame for the audience.


    However, I did realize that it didn¡¯t matter how many years you had in theater acting. AhJung had no drama experience. I epted the reality and put down my ambitions.


    ¡°You will be a new rookie in the perspective of a drama audience,¡± I said calmly looking at theptop with my arms crossed. ¡°It would be difficult to give you the main character¡¯s role. I understand. The part isn¡¯t big, but the character has some re. I like it.¡±


    ¡°Wow! I never dreamed I¡¯d be in a drama,¡± she said. ¡°It¡¯s so awesome! It¡¯s like a dream!¡±


    Unlike me, AhJung didn¡¯t seem to have any ambition over the part because she was extremely happy about the opportunity she was given. Watching her excitement made me happy.


    I smiled and asked, ¡°Do you want to do this drama?¡±


    I knew the answer before I even asked, but I wanted to be sure. AhJung nodded with fervor.


    ¡°Then let¡¯s do it.¡± I nodded in agreement.


    At that moment, JungHan woke up crying.


    ***


    He had been sleeping for longer than usual. JungHan cried and fussed as if he¡¯d just awaken from a nightmare. I held him close and patted his back to calm him, but it was no use.


    ¡°Oh, why is our quiet little JungHan acting up today?¡± AhJung asked nervously as she observed him. ¡°Did he hear what we were talking about? Does he not want his mother to go out and work?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not that,¡± I said as Iid JungHan down on the sofa.


    ¡°I know you¡¯re a worrywart, but you really worry about the most unlikely things,¡± I calmly criticized her while removing JungHan¡¯s diaper. I thought it had smelled a bit. As expected, it was fully wet. ¡°This is the reason.¡±


    I pointed to the wet diaper and headed to the bathroom with JungHan in my arms.


    AhJung followed us mumbling, ¡°If that¡¯s all, then it¡¯s a relief... But, leaving you and JungHan alone in the house while I work worries me.¡±


    I turned on the faucet. As I washed JungHan¡¯s bottom with warm water, I replied, ¡°Even when my AhJung is at home, I¡¯m the one taking care of JungHan. When you are out working, I will continue to take good care of him. There¡¯s nothing to worry about.¡±


    I turned off the faucet after checking to see if my baby was all clean. It was more of a hassle to wash him each time, but I stubbornly insisted on it because it was less abrasive to the baby¡¯s sensitive skin.


    AhJung looked at me unable to retort. She just nodded and agreed. ¡°It does look that way.¡±


    I carried JungHan in one arm and grabbed his towel with the other. I dried his bottom with the towel.


    ¡°There is one thing you should be worrying about,¡± I said.


    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± She asked.


    At the mention of something to worry about, AhJung¡¯s eyes filled with fear.


    I carried JungHan out of the bathroom after making sure he was fully dry. Once I was face to face with AhJung, I said, ¡°When you start filming for the drama, you will be tired from working all day. When youe home, you¡¯ll want to rest.¡±


    I kissed JungHan on the forehead since he was squirming about. I leaned over and whispered to AhJung, ¡°Even if youe home after work, you aren¡¯t excused from your night shift. I already waited a year. Starting from today, I don¡¯t think I can wait another single day.¡±


    If I had to wait anymore I was probably going to lose it.


    AhJung whispered into my ear, ¡°Are you asking me to worry or to anticipate?¡±


    She grabbed my hair and pushed her face close to mine. ¡°You better not change your mindter. If you say you are going to wait every day after today, I¡¯m going to, you know. I won¡¯t wait.¡±


    At her serious expression, I smiled.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think I can even wait until tomorrow,¡± I seductively said.


    AhJung released my hand as if she had just been burned.


    ¡°Wow, this serial arsonist,¡± she said as if she hadn¡¯t already known.


    Upon seeing JungHan in my arms, she stopped. JungHan remained still in my arms, but his eyes were wide open.


    ¡°We should wait until JungHan falls asleep though, shouldn¡¯t we?¡± AhJung asked me sadly with mixed emotions. She probably felt the same way I did.


    Our son was so lovable. For something like this, he would be much more lovable if he were asleep.


    ¡°If he¡¯s fed and warm, he will fall asleep.¡± I patted his head gently wishing with all my might.


    ¡°Sing him a luby,¡± AhJung suggested. ¡°Oh, he sleeps well if you let him listen to Canon. If we turn that on and breastfeed him, he¡¯ll fall asleep quickly!¡±


    She quickly headed to the bedroom. She was so fast, I already started to hear the musicing out of the room. As expected, it was Canon.


    ¡°What are you doing? Get in here,¡± shemanded from the bedroom.


    She was probably sitting on the bed ready to breastfeed. The sight was so obvious that Iughed before I had even seen it. I knew I couldn¡¯t hide myughter, so I just nted it on my face.


    I quietly whispered to JungHan, ¡°You need to meet someone like your mother. Someone that makes you smile every day.¡±


    Although JungHan couldn¡¯t understand what I was saying, he looked up at me curiously.


    ¡°You dad is a very lucky man,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m able to experience all these happy things. That in itself is the best luck in the world.¡±


    Hoping he understood my advice, I kissed him on the forehead. Before AhJung called me again, I hurried my footsteps toward my greatest luck that couldn¡¯t be found anywhere else in the world.


    ***


    There had been little expectation for the small role. We had just hoped that it would provide a new experience for me as a drama actress. However, it proved to be a huge sess. The viewership of the drama continued to top the charts. The audience enjoyed theughter I brought through small snippets of my appearance throughout it.


    Due to the great reception, my role in the drama increased. Calls from other ces streamed in. Of course, all the roles were for supporting parts, but the sheer amount was bing significant. I even got a call from a variety show. My field of work was expanding.


    If this had happened before I got married, at 33, I would have been suspicious and thought, There¡¯s no way my life could work out so spectacrly. Something is going to go wrong.


    I no longer held such suspicions because I lived with my No 1 fan. I was too busy wondering every day how I could be living such a happy life.


    ¡°Oh, please! Could you not watch that?¡± I asked.


    I finally had a day off. I had just awoke from a nap when I saw JiHan watching something on the television that made me blush. On the television, I saw myself waiting for my scene, talking to my colleagues.


    ¡°I¡¯m binge watching to see how you are outside of the home setting,¡± JiHan nonchntly said.


    I had agreed with his idea to have my manager log my daily activities. Feeling guilty for making him take care of JungHan alone and sacrificing his free time, I allowed myself to be filmed on the drama set for him to watch at his leisure. I just didn¡¯t like him watching it when I was in the room. I got goosebumps in embarrassment.


    ¡°Whether you binge watch or not, watch it when I¡¯m not here,¡± I said.


    ¡°I was going to turn it off anyways,¡± he replied. ¡°Now that you¡¯re awake, I can see the live version.¡±


    JiHan turned off the television with the remote. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me over next to him. He continued to stare at my face.


    ¡°You see my face every day. Don¡¯t you get sick of it?¡± I asked.


    ¡°I hadn¡¯t seen it for 28 years before I met you, so I¡¯m not sick of it yet,¡± he replied. ¡°Ah, yes Well, we still have 25 years left.¡±


    After three years of marriage, I thought JiHan¡¯s rose-colored sses would have disappeared, but here I was still responding to it. I took it one step further by grabbing his shoulders and talking in his tone.


    ¡°After 25 years, are you nning to get sick of it?¡± I asked him in an investigative tone.


    JiHan responded easily while smiling. ¡°I will let you know then. You better stay alive until then and hear my answer.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°You better not run off before then,¡± he said. ¡°You have to continue living with me until then.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re trying to tie me down with something like this?¡± I asked. ¡°It¡¯s not like you have some valued treasure of mine to hold me hostage, like my fairy wings or something. Just tell me yes or no. What¡¯s so hard about that.¡±


    JiHan smiled so that his eyes practically disappeared. He put his forehead on mine. ¡°Do you think I will only hold you down with something like that?¡±


    Before I could answer, his lips were on mine. It was a kiss that would make sure I wouldn¡¯t go anywhere.


    Ah... He is keeping me here just with this.


    With my eyes closed, I felt the effect of the kiss with all my heart. When JiHan removed his lips, I pretended this wasn¡¯t enough.


    ¡°This is all you¡¯ve got?¡± I asked.


    ¡°No this is not all I¡¯ve got.¡± He imitated me before kissing me on the forehead. ¡°I can¡¯t show you all those things at once, so I¡¯m going to have to take the 25 years to figure out what will keep you here with me.¡±


    His trustworthy tone made my anticipation rise. My heart leapt in joy at the anticipation of being happy for another 25 years, but my stomach suddenly growled in interruption.


    ¡°First, I will see what the breakfast menu will be,¡± I said. ¡°What delicious meal will you make me?¡±


    I looked at him with eyes filled with expectation. JiHan swiftly got up without a single trace that it was bothersome. Instead, it was as if it would bring nothing but joy to him.

 Chapter 59

    <h4>Chapter 59</h4>


    My mother-inw sat in the drawing room sofa holding JungHan with a smile on her face. ¡°Oh, our little JungHan already grew so big. How big are you going to get tomorrow?¡±


    Being only 6 months old, JungHan didn¡¯t understand a word she was saying, but my mother-inw continued to speak to him.


    Sitting across from her, I could feel a warmth about her. My mother-inw was just a regr grandmother in front of her grandson. Realizing that, it was much easier to approach her.


    ¡°I can¡¯t go see our JungHan every day,¡± she said to herself in a disappointed tone


    ¡°If you are OK with it, I can send you JungHan¡¯s picture every day,¡± I said.


    ¡°Will you?¡± Her eyes brightened at my suggestion.


    JiHan interrupted in a t voice. ¡°You know you wouldn¡¯t have seen a grandchild if it wasn¡¯t for AhJung, right?¡±


    My mother-inw¡¯s eyes narrowed as she red at JiHan. ¡°If you remind me of that one more time, it¡¯ll be a hundred times.¡±


    ¡°I know. And, I know I have 902 more times I have to say it to reach a thousand,¡± he replied.


    ¡°Why are you keeping count to a thousand? Are you nning to repeat it a thousand times?¡± she asked.


    ¡°Of course. A thousand? You should hear it 10,000 times,¡± JiHan replied. ¡°You have to be good to my AhJung.¡±


    Quit it! I yelled silently feeling like I was sitting on a pincushion. I pinched JiHan to make him stop. He grabbed my hand and put it on hisp.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to put wiretapping hardware on my wife, so don¡¯t even think about scolding her,¡± he said.


    What? Wiretap?


    ¡°Are you serious?¡± I asked in shock.


    He leaned over and whispered in my ear, ¡°No but we¡¯ll pretend we will.¡±


    I have to pretend I have it when I don¡¯t?


    I jumped in surprise and acted out. ¡°What are you insane? Where did you put it? Where?¡± I made a scene searching through my pockets when I heard my mother-inw¡¯s voice.


    ¡°You can wiretap or do whatever you want. There won¡¯t be anything to hold against me,¡± my mother-inw said with sophistication.


    ¡°Oh, of course there¡¯s nothing,¡± I said to JiHan. ¡°After our marriage, you had made me feel sofortable. When the two of us are together, she leaves me alone as if I¡¯m not there. I may not get anypliments, but I don¡¯t get any criticisms either.¡±


    What I said was true. After the wedding, my mother-inw had abandoned all her expectations for a proper daughter-inw, so I hade and gonefortably.


    To make sure she didn¡¯t feel cheated, I told JiHan the truth about the situation. ¡°The best inws are those that just let you roam about.¡±


    I raised my thumbs to emphasize my point.


    JiHan frowned as if displeased. ¡°A person left to roam is one that has no protection.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°If it wasn¡¯t for you, this family line would have ended,¡± he said ¡°You should be thinking of getting praised by your inws, not content with being able to roam around freely.¡±


    ¡°A woman expecting to gain praise from the inws is one that gave up on marriage,¡± I replied. ¡°There is no daughter-inw that could be highly respected. Even if she is the best daughter-inw ever, she is a stranger that came into the family. So, a daughter-inw given free reign is the best option there is.¡±


    JiHan turned to his mother and said, ¡°Mother, you should show her that it is not true. You can do it, can¡¯t you? Show her you are above the other mothers-inw. You of all people can surely do it. Show your daughter-inw how much you can praise and respect her.¡±


    It sounded ridiculous to me, so how ridiculous would it sound to his mother?


    His mother stared at him in disbelief. Instead, she moved her gaze to JungHan in her arms.


    ¡°JungHan, you better learn to do exactly what your father is doing right now,¡± she said. ¡°That way, when you get married, you will do exactly the same thing to him, OK? You have to bother your parents to praise their daughter-inw over and over again. OK?¡±


    I suddenly had a sh of an older JungHan looking just like JiHan saying the same exact words. I could definitely understand how my mother-inw was feeling.


    ¡°My AhJung is different from you, mother, from the get-go,¡± JiHan coldly said without understanding.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°You want to control your son¡¯s life the way you want, but my AhJung would never do that,¡± he said. ¡°My son will never have to endure having his marriage canceled because of my AhJung. Since there¡¯s no danger of that happening, JungHan will not have a reason to demand respect for his wife. If he did, he will be a horrible son. This situation¡¯s cause is your fault. You have to ept that you are growing what you sow.¡±


    JiHan crossed his arms, sure that there was nothing wrong with his reasoning. My mother-inw looked at JiHan as if she was wondering how she had given birth to such a being.


    She turned to me and said, ¡°You should take my son and your son and go home and rest.¡±


    ¡°Excuse me?¡±


    She handed JungHan to me. ¡°If you stay longer, I may have to beat my son.¡±


    I felt truthfulness behind her words, so I hurriedly took JungHan from her arms.


    ***


    Having left my mother-inw¡¯s ce earlier than expected, I sat fretting in the passenger¡¯s seat with JungHan in my arms.


    ¡°Why did you have to go and demand respect when I don¡¯t even need it?¡± I asked. ¡°You only put me in a bad position.¡±


    JiHan reached over and fastened my seat belt without a change in expression. As it clicked into ce, he kissed me on the cheek. I liked it, but it was not a situation to express it.


    Instead, I pouted and continuedining. ¡°Could you stop bothering your mother about it. She leaves me alone. If you don¡¯t leave her alone, then what does that make me?¡±


    ¡°That makes you a precious daughter-inw,¡± JiHan replied.


    ¡°You mean it makes me a presumptuous daughter-inw,¡± I retorted. ¡°It makes it look like I¡¯m using my husband to make my mother-inw¡¯s life difficult. You made my life so difficult before dating me, is it your mother¡¯s turn? You sure have a way of bugging people. You love it. You¡¯re a bugging maniac.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not doing it because I like it,¡± he said. ¡°I¡¯m doing it because it¡¯s needed.¡±


    ¡°When you did it to me, you might have needed it to get rid of me from your brother, but why do you need to do it to your mother?¡± I asked. ¡°I don¡¯t need the respect.¡±


    ¡°The respect I¡¯m talking about isn¡¯t something that extravagant,¡± JiHan said as he started the car. ¡°I just want her to tell you that you do well when you do. Being appreciative and givingpliments is all I ask. Even though you are in a drama, she didn¡¯t say one good word to you.¡±


    ¡°Not saying anything is good enough,¡± I said. ¡°I should be d she¡¯s not asking me what I¡¯m doing instead of staying home and caring for the baby. I¡¯m content with the way things are.¡±


    ¡°Well I don¡¯t like it. I hate that you are treated like you are invisible and are not approved of by my mother. I¡¯m going to make sure you will be taken care of and appreciated in the family,¡± JiHan determinedly said.


    I was touched by his deep concern for me.


    ¡°Instead of invisible, let¡¯s be a highlight,¡± he lightly added as he put on his own seatbelt.


    I quickly intercepted and secured it for him. I wanted to do everything this person did for me to keep me happy.


    ***


    I thought that however much my husband wanted to make me happy, the ability to change his mother would be a lost cause. His mother was no ordinary mother. Even though she gave us permission to get married, I knew she would never like me. I had epted this reality but...


    ¡°Mother said she picked this up off the street on her way home and asked I give it to you.¡± JiKyung ced an envelope on the table with a bbergasted look on his face.


    ¡°Your mother picked it up off the street?¡± I asked.


    Thinking how ridiculous that sounded, JiHan entered the room as I opened the envelope. ¡°What is it?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± JiKyung said. ¡°Our mother said she picked it up off the street...¡±


    I froze after taking out the contents of the envelope.


    ¡°Why are you like that? What is it?¡± JiHan leaned over to look at the object in my hand upon seeing my surprised expression.


    ¡°It¡¯s an airline ticket?¡± I was confused.


    JiHan looked surprised and looked at JiKyung. ¡°She picked this up off the ground?¡±


    ¡°Yea. She said she picked up two tickets to Bali off the street,¡± JiKyung said. ¡°To top it off, she even made a reservation for the hotel for both of you to stay. You two can take a week off there. Our mother has volunteered to take care of JungHan during that time, so you two can have a fun time together without worrying.¡±


    JiKyung¡¯s answer was even more surprising. My eyes grew twice its size.


    ¡°She wants the two of us to go on vacation?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Yes,¡± he replied.


    ¡°All of a sudden? Why is she doing this?¡± I asked, still in disbelief.


    ¡°It¡¯s not all of a sudden,¡± JiKyung said. ¡°It¡¯s not easy for our mother to take a week off. She¡¯s been rearranging her schedule for the past two months so she can fit it in. I¡¯m assuming she¡¯s been preparing this to coincide with you finishing up your drama.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t even have dreamed of something like this happening. I looked at JiHan unable to get my bearings straight. I found he had on the same expression I did.


    ***


    The first day of our trip, I sat in a cafe fiddling with my phone as I waited to board the ne. I had called my mother-inw, who was taking care of JungHan. Because the connection was bad, I had resorted to sending a text.


    I wrote in how thankful I was and added a bunch of heart emojis to boot. I was just about to press send when two girls walking by stopped in front of me.


    ¡°Oh? That¡¯s Na AhJung!¡±


    I looked up hearing the voice and saw two college girls running toward me.


    ¡°Unni, can I get your signature?¡± one of the girls asked.


    ¡°Me?¡±


    ¡°Yes, you¡¯re Na AhJung unni, aren¡¯t you?¡± she asked.


    ¡°I am...¡± There¡¯s someone who wants my signature? Why?


    I had run into these situations a couple times after shooting the drama, but I was still not used to it.


    ¡°Here.¡± One of the two girls opened up her diary and pushed it in front of me.


    I signed it still in a daze. After returning the diary back to the owner, JiHan returned holding two cups of coffee.


    ¡°Are they someone you know?¡± he asked looking at the two girls.


    ¡°No. They were just passing by and asked for my signature,¡± I answered blushing.


    He shrugged as if it wasn¡¯t a big deal and ced a straw into my drink.


    The owner of the diary didn¡¯t leave and asked, ¡°Unni, who¡¯s this? Is he famous too?¡±


    ¡°What? No. He¡¯s my husband,¡± I said.


    ¡°Whoa...¡± The two girls goggled at JiHan as if this was a big deal.


    One of the girls then turned back to me and asked, ¡°Unni, could I have a picture?¡±


    ¡°A picture? With me?¡± I asked even more surprised than when they asked me for a signature.


    She shook her head. ¡°No, with your husband.¡±


    I felt like someone hit me on the back of the head with a hammer. I mmed my hand onto the table standing up.


    ¡°No! You can¡¯t! Never!¡± I yelled without realizing it.


    The two girls stood standing with a surprised look on their face. Not only them, but the rest of the people around seemed to be staring at me.


    Was I being too sensitive? Was my reaction too extreme?


    Although I felt a tinge of regret, my feelings toward the issue did not change.


    ¡°My husband is not famous, he¡¯s just a normal guy,¡± I said with my head down, slowly sitting back down.


    JiHan got up from his seat and said in a sharp voice, ¡°Even if I was famous, I can¡¯t. I just don¡¯t want to. Why would I take a picture with someone other than my wife?¡±


    He hoisted the bag over his shoulder. Holding the two cups of coffee in both hands he said to me, ¡°Let¡¯s go. It¡¯s almost time.¡±


    ***


    As we finished boarding the ne, I grabbed JiHan¡¯s hand and nervously asked, ¡°Those people back there won¡¯t put us up on the inte, right? Saying we were being rude for not taking a picture with them?¡±


    ¡°Was it rude to not take a picture with them?¡± he asked. ¡°I¡¯m my AhJung¡¯s husband, not a star. Tell them to put it up if they want. Knowing full well I¡¯m not famous yet asking for a picture, I¡¯d love to see what thements are about wanting to take a picture with someone else¡¯s husband.¡±


    ¡°They can remove the pending circumstances and just put up negativements,¡± I said.


    ¡°Then, I will sue them for defamation,¡± he said.


    At his determined response, I calmed myself down. Yes, he would probably do that and then some. As I thought this, the phone in my pocket rang. I had gotten a message back from my mother-inw.


    [There¡¯s no need to be thankful. You might be going as two people, but I hope you return as three.]


    I froze at her response. It sounded like she was pressuring me for another grandchild. I looked up at JiHan with mixed emotions. He had seen the message and locked eyes with me.


    ¡°Do you agree with this statement?¡± JiHan asked.


    Unlike before where we had to fight for whether we would or would not have children, this time his stubbornness was nowhere to be seen.


    ¡°No.¡± I shook my head. ¡°Right now, JungHan is enough.¡±


    Reminded of JungHan, my heart swelled. I smiled widely.


    ¡°Then we should be careful.¡± JiHan smiled as wide as I did. ¡°If a lucky guy like me wants to make sure it doesn¡¯t happen, then we should be two, maybe three times more careful.¡±


    He held my hand as we shared the inside joke. I nodded back wrapping my hand in his.


    Matching our intentions, we moved together toward the ne we needed to board. We walked one step in front of the other to our future.


    (Wedding Impossible End)


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