《The Girl Wants to Be Murdered》


 Chapter 1: Prologue (1）

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 1 ¡µ Chapter 1. Prologue(1£©


    * * *


    **


    Life is precious. Humans are born with inherent dignity and value as human beings.


    Why?


    Because life¡­ is only given once.


    "Hey... Helena, Ispa, you''re too slow! Come on, let''s go!"


    "Yuta. Your voice is too loud....!"


    "¡ªEveryone, this is a dungeon, right? If we''re not careful, we''ll get hurt."


    An unchanging, immutable truth. The rich, the old farts, and the poor all get the same treatment in the end. There''s a saying, isn''t there? Abraham Lincoln made all the people free, but Samuel Colt, the founder of the Colt firearms company, made them equal.


    Unfortunately, unlike in games, there''s no such thing as a coin that you can substitute for your life in reality. There''s no feature installed that allows you to respawn automatically after 30 seconds.


    Did God overestimate his own abilities when he created humans?


    "Ispa is really! Always saying be careful, every single day! If you only act like that, you''ll never succeed! Right, Helena?"


    "Ugh.. Yuta! I told you not to run ahead like that!"


    "....Really, you''re all so reckless."


    If you could come back to life after dying, if everyone in the world could be reborn with memories of their past lives after death ¡ª what would happen?


    In such a world, would teachers still exist, muttering empty words like "life is precious" and "suicide is just running away," just to earn money, without any sincerity?


    No way.


    There might be people who, just because they were born to unfortunate parents, would jump off a building and take their own lives at the age when they learn to walk.


    Suicide, the act of taking one''s own life, could become an act that should be respected in itself.


    There might be people who would lightly throw away their lives because they lack talent, because they don''t like their gender or race, because they don''t feel attached to the country they were born in.


    Like a gamer who''s discovered a cheat code, wouldn''t they end their lives and wish for the next one the moment they feel a little uncomfortable in their lives?


    Well, to put it simply, since I''ve talked for too long¡­


    "¡ªLife is fleeting, easily lost, and thus valuable because it''s unique."


    I now look at the two children who have gone far ahead. Helena, with her delicate personality, following Yuta, who is a bit hot-headed and impatient.


    Yuta, abandoned by his parents and sent to an orphanage, enduring a poor orphanage life while dreaming of striking it rich.


    Helena, who has only ever lived being swayed by those around her, unable to properly express her own opinions.


    Children who are living a real ''life'', different from mine.


    Even though the two children are a little rough around the edges and have shortcomings right now, thinking about how they will face hardships and become diamonds in the future makes even those flaws seem like the brilliance of an uncut gemstone, making my heart flutter a little.


    Just how far can these children grow?


    How far can they reach without despairing in the face of the events they will face in the future?


    "~?"


    I hum a tune to myself as I follow their trail.


    I''ve already figured out the general path of the dungeon. How many times do you think I''ve crawled into this kind of dungeon and how many times have I¡ªdied? I can navigate this kind of crude dungeon with my eyes closed.


    Where the treasures are.


    Where the traps are.


    How the dungeon lures in young, novice adventurers with its traps.


    I know it all.


    I''ve got the experience, after all this time.


    "...¡ªFound it! If we just get that, we''ll be rich!"


    "Ah¡­ N-No... Let''s wait until Ispa comes..."


    Looks like they''ve found it already.


    It seems the two children have headed towards the trap.


    Though it''s a treasure to me.


    Still, I had expected a bit more, but it can''t be helped.


    Well, in a way, it''s only natural. There''s a saying that ''experience'' is just a name we give to ''mistakes'', isn''t there?


    For them, who haven''t experienced much yet, just getting this far is commendable.


    "Uh... Ispa. Yuta said he found a treasure chest inside that door..."


    Helena tells me in a timid voice.


    I would have preferred to hear your opinion rather than someone else''s.


    "¡ªNo. It''s dangerous."


    "Why!! We can just go in and get it!!"


    "There''s no way a treasure chest would just be sitting there in a place like that. We need to be more cautious¡ª"


    Even the most precisely programmed machine can malfunction, so how could humans, who are greatly influenced by emotions, be any different? Everyone makes mistakes.


    Overcoming those mistakes and living with the determination to never make them again, that''s what we call growth, isn''t it?


    Growth.


    Yes, I am the cornerstone of these children''s growth.


    I cultivate that precious, noble, irreplaceable ''one'' life that these children possess.


    Compared to my own life, which is worth less than a pencil lying on the ground, isn''t it an overly generous exchange?


    "¡ªIspa is really! Don''t be so overprotective! We''re proper adventurers now! Isn''t that right, Helena?"


    "...Th-That''s... Yuta... Ispa is just thinking about us..."


    Yuta is independent.


    Is it the result of being abandoned by his parents? He extremely dislikes being cared for by others. He even causes trouble by saying he hates the orphanage director.


    He doesn''t even try to learn from advice or teachings given with good intentions. Thanks to that, I had a hard time even getting him to join the guild.


    To put it nicely, he''s a confident child who shines brightly like the sun. To put it badly, he''s a lone wolf. If he could learn to tone down his prickly attitude when dealing with others, he could become a good adventurer.


    That''s why, even though I knew he hated it, I purposely played the role of the advisor by his side.


    "But there could be a trap, Yuta. What if you get hurt¡ª"


    "You can''t get treasure without taking risks, Ispa! Helena thinks so too, right?"


    "U-Uh, yes? Um.. Y-Yeah."


    Helena always listens to others'' opinions. She embraces even the most absurd ideas without rejecting them. In my opinion, she possesses the qualities that make her a suitable leader.


    The reality is, she''s just afraid of being disliked and can''t bring herself to say anything harsh. Sear?h the n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    It all depends on how you look at it, so I can only hope she develops that tolerant personality well.


    Who likes being disliked? But you have to overcome that, Helena.


    Even the greatest figures and saints in history have their critics. You need to know that some people are criticized just for existing.


    Sometimes, you need to be firm, it''s important.


    That''s why I always left the decision-making to Helena. The answer I got back was always ''anything'', but lately, she''s started to express her opinions, like saying she prefers coffee over black tea.


    It''s good progress, but I can''t shake off the feeling that something is missing.


    "Alright! Cowards just stand here! I''ll be back in a flash¡ª"


    "Ah... Yuta!!"


    "¡ªYuta! Come back!"


    Shaking off the arm I was holding onto, Yuta starts running with his bright red hair fluttering in the wind. His speed is quite high, even from my perspective, having seen many adventurers.


    He has talent. A real talent, unlike a fake like me.


    This child will surely become a famous adventurer later on.


    Becoming a stepping stone for such a great adventurer, what a wonderful thing it is.


    And as a bonus, it satisfies my hobby as well.


    ¡ªRumble rumble....


    "Got it..!! Wh-What is this!"


    "Yuta¡ª! The, the ceiling!!"


    As expected, the trap activated as the treasure chest opened. Hmm, I thought the structure of the ceiling and pillars felt strangely off, so it was this type.


    Yuta, who rushed in alone, seems flustered and starts to panic. The contents of the treasure chest are clearly burdensome to carry at a glance. They''re large and heavy. How cruel.


    "¡ªYuta! Get out of there quickly! Tch!"


    "Ispa?!"


    Leaving Helena at the entrance, I head towards where Yuta is.


    Is it because of greed, or is he simply shocked by the unexpected situation?


    I run towards Yuta, who''s standing there bewildered, holding obstacles disguised as treasures in his hands. The ceiling has already descended so low that it''s right in front of his eyes if he looks up.


    If he doesn''t get out quickly, he''ll be crushed flat like a pancake.


    "¡ªLet''s go!"


    "But, the treasure!"


    "There''s no time to carry it! You''re more important! We can come back for it later!"


    If you die, that''s the end for you. Better a living pawn, than a dead king. As long as you''re alive, there will always be a next time.


    I grab Yuta''s hand tightly and head towards the door. If I put in all my effort, we could easily escape through the door, but I purposely adjust my speed so that we barely make it.


    Because I plan to die here.


    "Whoa?!"


    "¡ªYuta!?"


    Flick.


    Stumbling on the small pebble I had secretly taken out of my pocket and thrown in a suitable spot while running towards Yuta, I see him stumble forward.


    A face filled with fear.


    Yes, remember that feeling of death.


    Remember that hastiness, the arrogance of not taking others'' advice to heart, will soon return as death.


    And the fact that the companion you cherish like family will experience that death in your place.


    "Hurry!! Quickly!!"


    The ceiling has now descended almost to waist level. I carry the fallen Yuta, crawling towards the door with my waist and knees bent. Helena, who is outside the door, is watching us and stomping her feet anxiously.


    But our speed isn''t enough. At this rate, both of us will be crushed by the ceiling, our bodies beyond recognition.


    Well, that''s what I planned.


    Don''t worry. I wouldn''t let a child with a bright future die, even if it meant sacrificing myself.


    "Uwaaaaaaaaah¡ª!!"


    "Ispa?!"


    Whoosh.


    With a shout, I throw Yuta with all my might towards Helena. It''s more like I''m curling him than throwing him.


    But it''s a bit disrespectful to say I''m curling a person, so let''s just say I threw him.


    Yes, I threw Yuta far away.


    I see Yuta sliding out of the door, following the trajectory of my hand. His eyes are wide with surprise. What, are you surprised? Cute.


    Left alone, I continue crawling at full speed. Slower than the speed needed to escape completely, but faster than the speed at which my whole body would be crushed.


    The impact of death and a corpse is stronger when you see it directly with your own eyes¡ªso let''s just get crushed halfway.


    Let''s just get caught halfway.


    Yes, that would be good.


    Rumble rumble, I feel the vibrations coming from the ceiling. The press that''s going to crush me is already slowly preparing to crush my body. I feel the hard texture of stone on my shoulders.


    My head slips through the narrow gap first.


    Followed by my neck, shoulders,


    My arms, then my chest lacking in volume, my waist, and¡ª


    And¡ª


    "¡ªGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!"


    The last thing that escapes is a scream.


    * * *

 Chapter 2: Prologue (2）

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 2 ¡µ Chapter 2. Prologue(2£©


    * * *


    **


    Crrruuunnnch.


    A bizarre sound, beyond words, transmits through my body. It¡¯s like the sound of crunching and shattering the cartilage when chewing on pork belly/ribs.


    Without consciously intending to, my mouth screams automatically.


    My job is to control that scream, making it more horrific, more desperate.


    Pain, so intense it''s hard to even process in my mind, surges through my nerves. It feels like my brain is being fried.


    I know that pain is a signal that your body is in danger. If that''s the case, then my body must be in irreversible danger.


    I want to lose consciousness.


    I want to be at ease.


    But endure.


    It''s time to harvest the fruits of your journey so far.


    If I let my guard down even a little here, I''ll die.


    "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah¡ª!!!!!"


    ""Ispa!!!""


    I''ve lost feeling below my waist. The crushed cross-section feels like it''s on fire.


    The children, still in a state of panic, unable to face reality, call my name.


    The 5 stages of accepting death, they say. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. If you don''t know, look up the Simpsons meme circulating on Google. (TL Note: So outdated author)


    These children probably still find it hard to accept the situation I''m in.


    Denial, is that it?


    "Gah, gah¡ª, kuh, ha, ha, haaack¡ª"


    "I-Ispa? You''re, you''re joking, right? This isn''t funny, come out quickly, hurry!!"


    I writhe and thrash as much as I can.


    My hands pound on the floor.


    Every time they do, a murky, unidentifiable liquid leaks from my mouth and nose.


    I act out my dying self as ridiculously and pathetically as possible.


    Seeing me like this, Helena collapses to the floor. I see a face paler than I''ve ever seen before, eyes that seem to have lost their life, and a mouth hanging open in a daze.


    "Ispa!! Th-This isn''t funny, come out!! Come out!!!"


    Yuta still seems to think I''m joking. He thinks I''m just messing around and delaying my escape.


    Yuta pulls on my arms.


    With all his might.


    Believing I''m playing a prank, he uses all his strength.


    Riip, I hear a sound that shouldn''t be coming from my body.


    "Kuaa, ha, huh, ha¡ªSt-Stop, St-Stop, Yuta stop¡ªaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!"


    Ugh, this is going to really hurt.


    Can I endure it?


    ¡ªCrrraack.


    With an incredibly angry voice, yet a face filled with terror, Yuta, still not fully grasping the situation, pulls at my body.


    My lower body, crushed under the heavy stone ceiling, is now shaped like chewing gum. The skin that was still somehow connecting it to my upper body tears with his force, and my body is dragged out.


    My body, completely split in half.


    Split in half and die!


    "Ah......?"


    Like a tangled rope unraveling, my internal organs stretch out, following my pulled body.


    Seeing this, Yuta finally seems to realize the reality and collapses to the floor just like Helena.


    Realizing what he has done.


    "Ah....ah.....? I-Ispa?"


    " Kuheo...uh...uah...."


    What expression is on my face? A face contorted in pain? Or a face filled with rage towards Yuta, who caused this? Or perhaps a blank, vacant expression?


    Whatever it is, I hope my true emotions aren''t showing.


    I bite my lip. I dig my nails into the stone floor, trying to regain my senses. Crack, my nails break and pierce my skin, bringing my fleeting consciousness back.


    As I come to, a laugh escapes me. A smile forms on my face. No, hold it in.


    I lift my head.


    I see the children looking at me with expressions that seem like they''re about to cry. Mistakes, or whatever you call them. All of them seem to be weighing heavily on them.


    Lost children, drowning in a thick swamp of guilt.


    Seeing them unable to escape that swamp, I wanted to embrace them right away.


    Yuta, Helena, the children who were my family in this life.


    Their previous expressions are gone, and Yuta is crying. Screaming and crying, just like the scream I had let out.


    Ah.


    So good.


    That face.


    Lost eyes, a heart pounding relentlessly, a trembling body, all of them were proof that this life of mine wasn''t in vain.


    Seeing the two children flinch and react to every single one of my groans, echoing in the small space as I writhe, I feel like I could die right now without any regrets.


    Well, I''ll be dying soon anyway.


    14 years. I''ve spent 14 years living with them like family.


    Even though I look like this, if we''re just talking about mental age, I could be their great-great-grandmother, so taking care of them was entirely my responsibility.


    Well, it wasn''t just those two, I was a bit busy taking care of the other orphans too, but it was still worthwhile.


    And so, we, who had been living like that, decided to become adventurers, which was Yuta''s dream, and left home.


    And our long-awaited, anticipated first expedition¡­


    ¡ªEnded up like this.


    Caught in a trap due to a hasty decision, driven by greed, the damage only worsened, and the result was this ending.


    It''s a shame.


    I also wanted to spend more time with them, in my own way.


    Even though they''re going through puberty, the shock must be immense, seeing me, their mental pillar, in such a disgraceful state.


    Personally, I... yes, I hope they take this opportunity as a practice run and become renowned adventurers in the future.


    These children are strong.


    Well, they''ll be able to overcome something like this someday.


    Even if they can''t overcome it, they can just learn from this mistake and do well in the future.


    Yes, that''s it.


    "Guh.....ah......ah....."


    "What should we¡­do in a situation like this...? Yuta...? Ispa...?" sea??h th§× n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    "..........Ah...?"


    That''s right, I am a teacher.


    A teacher who offers unforgettable lessons and teachings to brilliant people who only have one life, sacrificing my worthless life. What a blissful profession.


    Their faces filled with despair, their grief, their sorrow, all of it proves that my life wasn''t meaningless.


    My own way of living, discovered after countless years, in that long curse.


    Yes, reincarnation wasn''t a curse, but a blessing.


    "Ugh....."


    My vision darkens.


    This short moment of happiness will also soon come to an end.


    I muster all my remaining strength. My blurred vision momentarily focuses. I slowly lift my hand, covered in blood from broken and scraped fingernails.


    Reaching towards Helena.


    "Ah.....ah....?"


    The child who sits still, lost like a child without anyone to tell her what to do.


    This is my final lesson, for the child who lacks decisiveness.


    "....ill me..."


    "Ispa?! What did you say?"


    Helena''s face brightens and she approaches me with a look of hope as I speak.


    It''s not that she has hope that I''ll survive, but rather, she feels relieved to receive an order in a situation where she doesn''t know what to do.


    Oh dear.


    You shouldn''t be like that, Helena.


    With trembling fingers, I point towards her waist.


    Where the finely sharpened dagger is.


    I said,


    "¡ªKill, me."


    "Huh....?"


    As if she''d heard something wrong, a weak question escapes her lips reflexively.


    But you know, don''t you?


    That I''m going to die soon.


    That in this state, I''ll writhe in pain, scream, and then meet my end in an unsightly manner.


    You have to choose.


    "Ah, it hurts."


    "Ah....ah..!?"


    You must feel wronged, frustrated. You must curse the world, wondering why such a cruel thing is happening to you, who did nothing wrong.


    But Helena, that''s just how life is. Haven''t you seen a Crayon Shin-chan movie? The clich¨¦ story of a handsome prince appearing to save everyone should be getting old by now.


    Ah, maybe you haven''t seen it.


    Now, stab it in.


    Push that knife into my neck.


    Helena.


    I always told you that being indecisive, hating responsibility, and leaving decisions to others is a bad thing.


    This time too, you didn''t stop Yuta when he insisted on going inside recklessly.


    Why? Because you didn''t want to fight with him.


    It was simply for that reason.


    Having watched her life unfold by her side, I could easily understand why she takes that stance.


    This will cause a huge problem later on.


    Even if it wasn''t me, it would have happened someday.


    Even if a problem doesn''t arise, the resentment will remain deep within Helena''s heart and torment her.


    "Huh..ah...ha..."


    "I don''t...want to.... I don''t want to..!!"


    Helena''s expression is that of someone whose world has crumbled.


    Every time I saw that face, my mind was filled with ecstasy, overwhelmed by a happiness that felt like it would melt me.


    But, is this it?


    Despite my strong desire to see them more, my body, already hurtling towards death, seemed unable to hold on any longer.


    My vision completely fades to black, my vitality draining away.


    I''m going to die now.


    If the stories of the world are composed of a beginning, rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution, my story always ends at the climax.


    After that, my consciousness faded and I couldn''t remember much.


    I could only feel the cold sensation of steel against my neck, accompanied by a scream lamenting the world.


    Hmm, you''ve made up your mind, Helena.


    Well done.


    Yes, live like this from now on.


    I thought that if she did, she would be able to overcome anything that came her way.


    Ah.


    This was so good too.


    100 out of 10.


    In the approaching darkness, only then could I finally let go of everything and laugh to my heart''s content.


    **


    A small but gentle kingdom, surrounded by mountains, where everyone cares for each other.


    In the capital, located in the center of the kingdom, everyone held their breath, waiting one piece of news.


    Even the clumsy king who spends sleepless nights feeling sorry for speaking harshly to others.


    The second princess, who, excited about the imminent birth of her long-awaited sibling, insisted on naming the baby.


    The first princess, sighing at the sight of the two, yet inwardly excited.


    Everyone.


    And amidst their blessings¡ª


    "¡ª,??!!"


    "¡ªThe baby has been born!"


    Starting with the baby''s cry, cheers erupted throughout the royal palace.


    The beginning (?), the story starts anew.


    * * *

 Chapter 3: Start.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 3 ¡µ Chapter 3. Start.


    * * *


    **


    It feels like riding a roller coaster.


    In the pitch-black darkness, I''m being tossed around. Like floating in space, with nothing to hold onto.


    Up and down. In the darkness that seems to stretch on forever, I exist alone.


    How comfortable.


    A single ray of light found at the end of it all.


    Like a moth drawn to a flame, like an insect navigating by the moonlight, I slowly fly towards that light¡ª


    "¡ª,???!!!"


    **


    We promised to call this a "past life."


    Alas... this is what they call Reincarnation. It''s a common occurrence for me.


    "What are you thinking about, Aris?"


    "Hmm... Thinking about big sis Remi?"


    "Kyaaaah! I love Aris so much!"


    Squeeze, my older sister hugs me, small as I am, in her equally small embrace.


    In a corner of the royal palace, a small flower garden. There, my older sister and I are playing. Carefully crafting a small flower crown.


    I place it on her head. And she smiles, more radiantly than any blooming flower.


    Remi, Remi Akaia. Currently, my older sister and the princess of the small kingdom of Tesillia.


    Perhaps out of joy, her embrace tightens. It''s a little suffocating for a child''s body, but I also face Remi and hug her back.


    It''s a different scent from the flowers in the garden, a more comforting and human, the smell of a person.


    "Heehee~"


    Being the second child, she''d been eagerly waiting for the birth of her younger sister, or so I''ve heard. My name, Aris, was also given to me by Remi.


    Well, it''s understandable to be happy about having a younger sibling.


    She said she was inspired by the main character named ''Alice'' in a fairy tale book. My parents also agreed, saying it was a pretty name and not too strange.


    Perhaps it''s because of the attachment she has to the name, or maybe she just likes me, but Remi has rarely left my side since I was born.


    Even when sleeping,


    Even when studying,


    ...Even when bathing.


    Well, I don''t mind.


    Perhaps due to my first life, my inclination leans heavily towards the masculine side and has become fixed, but thanks to the experiences of living as a woman in repeated reincarnations, I''ve long since gotten used to it.


    "Aris! I love you so much!"


    "I love you more!!"


    "....!? As I thought, I can''t give Aris to anyone!! Let''s get married!"


    "Ah, that''s a bit..."


    "?!!"


    My older sister makes a face as if she''s lost her country. It makes teasing her all the more fun.


    Hmm, good reaction.


    Every time I see that face, the urge to make her cry consumes me.


    I want to make her cry.


    If I die in front of my sister, what kind of face will she make?


    If she were to kill me¡ªit would be perfect.


    I end my thoughts.


    I look up. I see a tearful face. I escape from my sister''s body, which is frozen as if struck by lightning, and I run away.


    Escape!


    I see Remi chasing after me, calling my name.


    Our usual game, just the two of us. Tag, typical for children our age.


    As always, it ends when I''m caught. Then I give my sister candies as a reward. The candies I''ve secretly stashed away.


    I always lose. What younger sibling can beat their older sister?


    Giggle, the high-pitched laughter unique to young children fills the flower garden.


    By the way, isn''t she too close? Ah, what the, she caught up already.


    "Big sis!! 10 seconds! 10 seconds!!"


    "Ah! Right. Uh... 10¡ª! 9¡ª!"


    I see my sister stop. Remi slowly counts down. I quickly exit the flower garden gate and run outside.


    I may have gotten some distance, but I can''t let my guard down.


    Big sis Remi counts diligently when I''m nearby, but the moment I disappear from sight, her countdown goes straight to zero.


    It''s cheating, but well, it''s cute, so it doesn''t matter.


    If I complain about it after being caught, as always, she''ll just brush it off and nuzzle her face against my cheek. Then I''ll have no choice but to lose again.


    So where should I go?


    My parents, Marco Akaia and Mari Akaia, the two of them have a gentle nature and benevolent appearance that''s hard to believe for the king and queen of a kingdom, but they are still the rulers of a kingdom.


    They must be buried in paperwork, being nagged by their ministers right now.


    Poor them.


    They''re clearly the bosses, yet they''re the ones being pressured¡­


    The sun is shining. Come to think of it, it''s almost lunchtime.


    Ah, then my eldest sister''s class must be over.


    Big sis Anna. Unlike playful big sis Remi, she''s serious and hardworking in everything she does.


    Even though it''s break time after class now, she''s probably reviewing the knowledge she just learned.


    "Hmm... Good!"


    Hard work is good, but if you don''t let out gas, it''ll explode, right?


    If I go into big sis Anna''s room, big sis Remi will probably come looking for me soon. It''s a place I frequently visit when I play hide-and-seek.


    I''ll get caught quickly, be held and cuddled, and then we''ll all gather for lunch. A perfect plan.


    I patted myself on the head for my genius plan and saintly consideration, and headed towards my sister''s room.


    Here I go.


    **


    "So... you came here..?"


    "Yes!"


    "Haah... Aris.."


    It''s just as I thought. Sure enough, there''s big sis Anna, opening a book and studying. It''s bad for your health, you know.


    Sighing, big sis Anna puts down her pen and I crawl under her desk. I put a finger to my lips and go ¡®Shh, shh.¡¯, as a bonus.


    I spread my arms and hug big sis Anna''s legs. It''s cool.


    She slightly pushes back her chair and lowers her head to look at me. She says she can''t help it, but her hand stroking my head tells the truth.


    My family, they''re all good people.


    "Studying and studying all day. If you keep sitting like that, mushrooms will grow on you...!"


    "Eh... What''s that.."


    "Heehee, but I like big sis Anna even like that!"


    When we were younger, we used to play together a lot, but at some point, she developed an almost obsessive attachment to studying. To be precise, the responsibility of becoming a ''wise ruler'' started to weigh heavily on her.


    Well, because¡ª


    "Big sis will definitely become a su~per greaaat queen someday!"


    ".......Really?"


    "Of course! You study so hard every day!"


    Because I made her that way.


    Anna Akaia, the princess who will become the queen of the Tesillia Kingdom if nothing unexpected happens, is, after all, just an ordinary person.


    Honestly, if we''re just talking about talent, wouldn''t Remi be more suited?


    Me? I''m just an exception. I''m not worthy. I''m just cheating. The kind of person who isn''t even allowed to stand on the same starting line.


    Well, Remi loves playing so much and enjoys cuddling me and lazing around, so being a queen wouldn''t suit her.


    A lazy genius and a hardworking ordinary person. That''s the exact dynamic.


    And the one who knows this fact better than anyone else is her, Anna Akaia.


    To put it bluntly, I also appear to be a genius on the surface.


    Anna, comparing her ordinary self to us geniuses. Retreating is not allowed. Because she has to become a ''good ruler.'' Because I expect her to. Because she wants to live up to the expectations of her beloved little sister.


    From behind Anna, I was pushing her. Is it towards the throne or the edge of a cliff? It doesn''t matter either way.


    I''m just curious how big this small crack will grow and how many people it will swallow.


    I''m already looking forward to it.


    Pit-a-pat, pit-a-pat, I hear footsteps of someone running from outside. This is the royal family''s private residence. There''s almost no one who would run around like that.


    Except for the royal class, that is.


    Soon, the footsteps stop in front of the room we''re in. Big sis Anna smiles wryly, stops stroking my head, and puts her arms on the desk.


    Yes, yes, good acting.


    ¡ªBang!


    "Big sis Annaaa¡ª!"


    "Haah... Yes, Remi."


    The door bursts open. An energetic voice fills the room.


    Well, as usual, it''s Remi. It couldn''t be anyone else.


    She comes right up to the desk where I''m hiding and starts chattering to big sis Anna.


    "Aris~! I came to get you!! Give her to me!"


    "Aris isn''t a doll...."


    "A~ri~s!"


    "Oh my..... My head.."


    Big sis Anna, massaging her temples with one hand as if she has a headache, starts saying that I''m not in this room.


    Clearly and precisely, so that I can hear her from under the desk.


    "Aris isn''t here."


    "Eh~ That''s a lie.... Ah, I see~ Aris isn''t here!"


    But I can see everything, her hand gestures clearly pointing towards the desk under which I''m hiding.


    Her fingers are moving so vigorously!


    She''s selling me out!


    Well, I''m kind, so I''ll pretend I didn''t notice.


    Seeing that gesture, Remi seems to have figured something out and starts giving an obviously unnatural answer. Her voice is choppy, yes, you''re not good at acting.


    I just rub my cheek against the cool legs I''m hugging, praying for her to catch me quickly.


    It''s almost lunchtime. I''m starting to get hungry.


    A growing child needs to eat a lot. sea??h th§× N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Thump, thump, I hear Remi''s footsteps leaving the room. The door opens and closes, and I feel tiny, subtle footsteps approaching me again.


    She''s trying to hide her footsteps, but it''s not working at all...!


    Well, it''s because I have some abilities and can hear everything. A normal child my age probably wouldn''t notice.


    I feel happy to have discovered one of Remi''s talents in an unexpected place.


    I count in my mind. Five, four, three, two, one. Ta-da.


    Swish.


    "Whoa! Found you, Aris!"


    "Kyaaah! I''ve been caught! How did you find me~ I thought I hid really well this time....!"


    "Heehee~ I always know where Aris is~"


    Despite finding me through cheating, Remi puffs out her chest and speaks proudly, making me burst into laughter. Her silly appearance was just too cute.


    After pulling me out from under the desk, Remi hugs me and spins around, laughing as well.


    "Phew... Finally, it''ll be a bit quieter now."


    Big sis Anna watches us and smiles softly.


    Is that smile because she''s thinking about how the room will finally be quiet?


    Well, I don''t think so.


    ¡ªDing... Dong...


    The bell rings.


    Remi stops spinning me around and focuses on the sound coming from outside the window.


    The bell signaling lunchtime echoes far and wide from the tower.


    Our own bell tower, installed so we wouldn''t lose track of time while playing. The history contained within the tower is too light. And our parents'' affection is too heavy...!


    They''re not going to introduce it like that during a palace tour or something, are they?


    This is a historic bell tower. The reason for its installation? To let the princesses know it''s lunchtime.


    Wow... That''s so lame.


    "Ah, it''s time to eat! Let''s go, Aris!"


    "Okay! Ah, big sis Anna should come too! Come on~ Let''s go together~"


    "....Okay."


    I approach big sis Anna, who is standing some distance away with a small smile on her face. I grab her hesitant hand, as if she''s about to step back, and the three of us, connected, exit the room.


    Ah, how happy.


    I wish these faces would all be ruined.


    My sisters, lined up on either side of me. Humming a tune, I swing my arms as we head towards the dining room where our parents are waiting.


    My precious people in this life.


    I hope they grieve over my death and that I become permanently etched in their memories. I want to be an unforgettable, powerful memory.


    Ah.


    That would be really nice.


    So I say,


    "Big sisters¡ª I love you so much!"


    * * *

 Chapter 4: Crack.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 4 ¡µ Chapter 4. Crack.


    * * *


    **


    The family bonding time I felt after so long was truly enjoyable.


    Just like in my past lives, growing up abandoned without a family was the norm.


    Even if I grew up under the care of parents, most of my childhood was spent without receiving proper affection.


    And yet, to be born as a princess, even as the third child¡­


    "What are you going to do today~?"


    "Hmm... I''m going to practice swordsmanship!"


    "Again?"


    "Yes!"


    With those words, I left big sis Remi and ran towards the training grounds. I heard Remi''s calls to play more from behind, but I ignored them. Her affection is too overwhelming...!


    I wonder if that sister will ever get married?


    I thought as I ran.


    How many times have I reincarnated?


    I stopped counting once it passed three digits, so I''m not sure.


    It''s been quite a while since then, so wouldn''t it be at least four digits by now? Not that counting matters.


    When I was just a single digit, every day was new and exciting.


    Yes, it was fun at first.


    It was fun to be called a genius by others occasionally, and to do things I couldn''t do before without worrying too much.


    Then, when was it?


    I realized that my life had only been about trampling and stealing the single lives of others.


    Things that should have rightfully belonged to someone else.


    Using the cheat-like knowledge gained from repeated lives to steal those things, I, as a person, was merely complaining about trivial matters, like being born into a family with unfortunate circumstances, or not liking the body I was born into.


    While others were working hard to live each day.


    And I was complaining about such things.


    Stealing the places, the food, the affection of those living a genuine life¡ª


    The moment I realized that, I hanged myself.


    After that, I remember committing suicide dozens of times due to sudden existential crises.


    I tried slitting my throat, drowning in the sea, setting myself on fire, and even went mad, being treated like a lunatic and having my head chopped off by a guillotine?


    Well, there''s no need to worry about it now. It''s all in the past.


    Anyway, reincarnation was truly unpredictable.


    When I was just past three digits, I tried to find some regularity in reincarnation to escape this maddening world, but it was useless.


    The only thing I learned was that it was completely random.


    There wasn''t even a glimpse of an escape route.


    Now, I''ve just let go. And that''s how I found peace.


    Being reborn in a medieval world with fantasy elements twice in a row was a blessing.


    I''ve been thrown into a world like a space sci-fi novel where my cute scientific knowledge from the modern era didn''t work at all, and into a modern zombie apocalypse world. I''ve even been born in a world like Greek and Roman mythology.


    Ah, speaking of zombies, that reminds me.


    Of the faces and screams of the group I was traveling with back then, through the window.


    Those people, who watched me being bitten alive by a horde of zombies I lured with sound after locking the door, are they still alive?


    The situation of a young girl using herself as bait to lure zombies and being eaten alive right before their eyes, it was quite interesting.


    Especially since the people I was traveling with were kind and naive.


    I even had an older sister.


    If I had to choose the most memorable experience of my lives, it would probably be that one.


    Ah, I got excited.


    ¡ªClang!


    "Ugh¡ª!"


    "Ah! A-Are you alright!?"


    Did I accidentally put too much force into it? The sword of the knight I was sparring with flew far away.


    You might say, how strong could a little girl be, but¡ªif you properly aim for the timing when the opponent starts to focus their strength and deliver a blow with good weight transfer, even a child can easily defeat an adult.


    If you strike just as the sword reaches its peak, before it starts to descend, they have no choice but to collapse helplessly.


    Besides, my opponent was going easy on me.


    It was my own unique swordsmanship, ingrained in my body after countless years that I can''t even remember.


    Even if it''s just an imitation without a proper teacher.


    If a soul exists, perhaps it''s safely stored there.


    "...I''m fine. However, your growth is truly unbelievable. At your age..."


    "Heehee¡ªIt''s all thanks to your excellent teaching."


    "Humility can be a poison if taken too far. At times like this, you should just be happy."


    "Okay!"


    Teacher smiles bitterly and ruffles my hair roughly. I call him Teacher Fayne. He''s a retired knight who now works as a swordsmanship instructor.


    Even though his touch is rough, it carries a certain affection, so I enjoyed it.


    I don''t like it when my hair gets messed up, but as you get older, you tend to fidget and become talkative, so knowing that, I should endure it.


    It''s been ? a little over three years since I started learning swordsmanship, officially? For them, it must be quite shocking to see a young girl, without proper muscle development, defeat a seasoned knight.


    Thanks to that, I''m playing the role of a genius that doesn''t suit me.


    But this will all be helpful for the future.


    "I should brag to big sis Anna~ I''ll get head pats!"


    "...It seems you''re quite fond of Princess Anna."


    "Yes! I really like her! She''s very pretty, kind, and¡­ well, I just like her!"


    Fayne''s expression darkens rapidly as I mention big sis Anna. Ah, is it because I said I''d brag to her?


    Well, as an older knight, he must be quite perceptive.


    He probably noticed that my sister is feeling inferior.


    Inferiority complex. Not being satisfied with one''s own accomplishments.


    He''s probably worried that someday, the word "one''s own" will change, and she''ll start comparing her accomplishments to those of others.


    Is that what they call an inferiority complex?


    Don''t worry, Fayne.


    She''s already doing a good job of that.


    "Heehee~ I''m going to get praised~ Praised~"


    "...Thank you for your hard work today, Princess Aris."


    "Okay~ See you later, Teacher~"


    Thinking about what I have to do next, a deep smile forms on my face.


    What kind of expression will she make when I tell her that I beat Fayne? Will she freeze? Or will she hate me? Will she be jealous? If I lean into her, she''ll reluctantly pat my head.


    Ah, I''m already excited.


    I want to do the same to Remi, but¡­ how should I put it, her aura is too bright for any inferiority complex to take root¡­


    I think she''ll probably just like me more every time I show a good side of myself.


    Whenever I did something even slightly impressive, it was always Remi''s job to brag about it.


    Actually, I''ve helped Remi with her homework a few times, and instead of being jealous, she was busy carrying me to our parents'' meeting to praise me.


    Bursting through the door, no less.


    ''Momm¡ª! Daddd¡ª! Aris is¡­ Aris is¡­!!''


    ''R-Remi? W-What''s wrong?''


    ''She''s a super genius¡ª!!!!''


    '' ''.......'' ''


    Our kind parents quietly sent us back without a word. Dad even tried to praise me along the way, but got a slap on the back from Mom.


    Uh¡­ Ever since that incident, I''ve just been showering Remi with affection without thinking too much.


    It was so embarrassing back then.


    It was a powerful psychic attack. My face turned bright red.


    Is Remi a ghost type?


    Since with those types, it''s more effective to get hurt or take attacks in front of them.


    How should I get hurt in front of Remi? S~ea??h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    "Hum hum~?"


    I headed towards the private residence where big sis Anna was resting, indulging in fun imaginations.


    Tra-la-la.


    Heehee.


    **


    "So~ I went ''Clang'' and swung my sword¡ª"


    "...Yes¡­"


    In the afternoon, with nothing to do. In my room, where I was previewing tomorrow''s lesson, as always, that child came to visit.


    Aris.


    Our precious little sister, who came into our family.


    Every time I stroke her soft and beautiful hair, like silk, a warm feeling travels from her head to my hand.


    Aris loved it when I patted her head. I don''t know why. She should go to a lively sister like Remi instead of a charmless sister like me.


    Strangely, Aris was as attached to me as she was to Remi.


    Thanks to that, Remi sulked for a while. Really.


    "¡ªAnd so, I beat Sir Fa¡­ I mean, Teacher Fayne!"


    "...You beat him...?"


    "Yes! Teacher said I did well~!"


    At her words, I unconsciously stop my hand. My chest feels tight.


    Aris is a genius. A known fact.


    At a young age, she learned to read and write, to wield a sword, and the words she occasionally muttered to those with worries contained wisdom that was unthinkable for someone her age.


    Our parents were surprised too.


    Yes, you''ve already beaten Fayne.


    Amazing.


    How amazing.


    "Yes. Aris won..."


    "Heehee~ Pat my head more¡ª"


    "¡ªAh. Okay..."


    I resume my hand movements. The small child snuggles closer to me.


    It feels like a lump is forming in my chest. A hot sigh, unable to escape, keeps swirling inside.


    My body grows hotter, and my touch becomes rougher.


    Tight.


    "Ah, it hurts!"


    "......"


    It''s suffocating.


    "B-Big sis!!"


    "......"


    I want to throw up.


    Why, is this child¡ª


    "¡ªBig sis!!!"


    "....Ah...?"


    A loud voice rings in my ears. Startled, I look down and see Aris, clutching my hand and shouting.


    With a tearful face.


    Ah.


    I look at my hand.


    My hand, tightly gripping Aris''s hair.


    Ah...?


    What, was I thinking just now?


    "Ah, Aris! Are you okay? Does it hurt?"


    "Wuuu.... It hurts..."


    I hurriedly let go of her hand. Aris was crying, saying it hurts.


    My mind goes blank at the fact that a child who never showed any signs of pain, even when she was injured or had a bad cold, was now crying.


    I don''t remember what happened next.


    When I came to my senses, Aris, who had somehow stopped crying, was being led out of the room by Remi, who had appeared at some point.


    After the two of them left, I let out a sigh of relief and leaned against the wall, collapsing to the floor.


    The floor was so cold.


    I stared at my two trembling hands.


    "What... was I just...?"


    **


    Ah, this is so good.


    * * *

 Chapter 5: Curse.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 5 ¡µ Chapter 5. Curse.


    * * *


    **


    "There, there... Are you okay now, Aris? Should I scold big sis Anna? Hmm?"


    "Uh... I''m okay. It doesn''t hurt anymore. Don''t fight, you two... I don''t like it..."


    To be honest, I was surprised.


    Because it was much faster than I expected. And for it to manifest physically, this is truly unexpected.


    Was it already festering that badly inside? Hmm... according to my plan, it should have been safe for a few more years. The pace is too fast.


    You have the qualities of a yandere... Big sis Anna...!


    This little sister is so moved!!


    At that moment, when my head was grabbed tightly and almost crushed, I could clearly see big sis Anna''s eyes.


    Dark, lifeless eyes.


    It''s a leap, but if what she was holding at that time wasn''t a pen but a knife¡ª


    What would have happened?


    "I love big sis Remi~"


    "Honestly... I was so surprised when I heard Aris crying while walking by..."


    "Hehe~ Sorry..."


    It was just a brief imagination, but my mouth was already agape. I buried my face in Remi''s chest, lest anyone see.


    But not yet.


    Not yet.


    In this vast world, no one grieves the death of a stranger.


    Why? Because they''re a stranger.


    Because I''ve never seen them before. Because they''re not family.


    Because they''re not precious.


    When I become a more precious person to them, when I reach a high position that can''t be exchanged for anything¡ª


    That''s when I want to die.


    I''m a believer in tragedy, and I hold the wish that my life would be written as one.


    I don''t want to be the protagonist of a common, ordinary story, like a homeless person freezing to death on the side of the road, devoid of fun, emotion, or lessons.


    Because nothing is more despairing than that.


    I''d rather slowly grow old and die in this peaceful everyday life.


    Tug, tug, I pulled on Remi''s sleeve.


    She looks at me. Remi, as always, is really pretty.


    I bet she''d be even prettier when she cries.


    "Let''s go to my room."


    "Huh...?"


    "I... saved some snacks... to eat together..."


    I trailed off, saying those words. It''s a reward for the hide-and-seek we played earlier.


    They''re snacks made with great care by a truly first-class chef, the kind that everyone would like, but I don''t feel anything special about them.


    I can''t taste things very well.


    I was so messed up back then that I couldn''t even realize I''d lost my sense of taste.


    I could only feel some taste when I ate spicy peppers, black pepper, or things like that.


    If I had to say, it''s not taste, but sensation.


    Thanks to that, I don''t feel much attachment to the snacks I receive. Honestly, if I were blindfolded and given a cookie made of mud and a cookie baked by a chef, I wouldn''t be able to tell the difference. Crunchy, with crumbs falling to the floor.


    Yes, yes, they''re similar.


    Actually, it''s not just my sense of taste, but all the sensations in my body are a bit off. Well, it can''t be helped.


    It could be that my mind is messed up from repeated deaths, or maybe it''s a dissonance between my soul and body? I don''t know the reason. And I don''t want to know.


    Knowing wouldn''t help me at all.


    For me, the present is the most important.


    Anyway, because of that, I secretly stored the snacks I received and offered them to big sis Remi, who loves sweets.


    Yes, yes, a mother is full just by watching her child eat.


    "..Okay! Let''s go and eat them together!"


    "Big sis... You''ll gain weight."


    "Ouch! D-Don''t poke me!"


    ¡ªSquish


    Enjoying the feeling of Remi''s soft side fat, I headed towards my room.


    Hmm... Seriously, she might gain weight if she''s not careful... Big sis...


    Should I make her exercise...? Should I reduce her snacks...?


    Ah, by the way, big sis Anna''s face¡ª


    It was really, good.


    It looked like someone had done something to her.


    To my sister, of all people.


    Should I look into it seriously later?


    If I find the culprit, I should praise them.


    I''ll stamp a "Good Job" sticker right on their face.


    **


    I''ve seen countless worlds so far.


    There were orthodox fantasy worlds where different races like dragons and elves lived and breathed, and interesting worlds where demons and gods openly revealed themselves. S§×arch* The ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    There were worlds where humans dominated and enslaved other races, and conversely, worlds where humans were on the verge of extinction.


    Besides those, there were worlds with absolute monarchies where power was concentrated in the center, worlds where a strengthened feudal system with powerful lords was prevalent, and worlds where peasant rebellions succeeded and republics were established.


    Even in similar world settings, the intricate pieces that make up each world were all different.


    "A book... about curses?"


    "Yes! I''m curious! I want to see it!"


    "Wow... You''re quite unique, Princess."


    "Heehee~"


    I came to the library. Tessa, the librarian, greets me familiarly when she sees me.


    I love her blue hair that reminds me of the sea, so I often ask if I can touch it.


    It even smells a bit like the ocean.


    At first, she was terrified and bowed when she realized I was a princess, but over the years, we became close enough to drop formalities.


    Well, if you worry about every little thing, you''ll be exhausted.


    You should live life with ease.


    "Curses... Well, it shouldn''t be a problem for a princess like you. It''s over there~ At the very end on the left~"


    "Okay! Thank you, Tessa~"


    Interestingly, in this world, there were no wizards who shot fireballs and turned the sky upside down.


    That''s a shame, isn''t a wizard a staple of fantasy?


    Instead, there were shamans, who made a living practicing shamanism.


    To put it simply, they''re like wizards who specialize in curses and buffs.


    Because of that, you might think their reputation is in the gutter, but their usefulness makes them indispensable to the nation.


    Curses.


    Big sis Anna''s sudden change.


    The gap is too wide to simply be a miscalculation on my part.


    Do you know how many times I''ve died in front of others so far¡ª?


    To write a tragic script, understanding the feelings of others is more important than anything else.


    It''s not to brag, but I''m confident in reading the emotions of others.


    Although I''ve made mistakes occasionally because I''m not very good at the entertainment aspects... Big sis Anna''s behavior is mostly unrelated to my weak areas.


    I hate yanderes... They''re the main culprits of route destruction...


    So, there''s probably something else going on.


    "Curses... Mental type... it''s at the very end. Contains 14 chapters. Hmm."


    A girl researching mental magic in the corner of a dark library... This is precious...


    Honestly, I don''t think reading a couple of books like this will allow me to grasp everything about curses.


    They say that a person who hasn''t read any books is scary, but the scariest person is the one who has only read one book, right? Well, there''s a saying like that. (TL Note: It¡¯s the Bruce Lee practice kick quote thingy)


    However, I should be able to find at least a minimal clue.


    What I''m looking for is a curse that causes a sudden change in personality, especially one that changes it in a negative direction.


    Well, I''m happy because it seems to be helping me, but in general, it''s considered a curse that changes one''s personality for the worse.


    Flip, the pages of the book keep turning.


    "Rather than manipulation... Guidance, or subconsciousness. Hypnosis takes too long, so pass."


    Although it''s called shamanism, but in the end, all unrealistic things like magic and such are connected, so it was easy to grasp.


    It''s not that she developed a personality or behavior she didn''t have before.


    Big sis Anna definitely felt inferior to me¡ªand it simply manifested extremely in the form of violence because she couldn''t suppress it.


    So, is it the manifestation of the subconscious, or is it blocking her rational thinking by increasing her emotional instability?


    Rational thinking...


    "If things continue like this, big sis will become the heir."


    It''s obvious. As the legitimate child, the next throne is practically guaranteed.


    Big sis Remi, the second child, is often lazy and doesn''t have the desire to become queen in the first place.


    As for me, I''m too young.


    Then, there''s sufficient reason to target big sis Anna.


    This incident probably wasn''t aimed at me. There''s no reason or benefit to doing so.


    This incident is like, a side income, I guess.


    Is it the work of some idiot who wants to shake big sis Anna''s mind and manipulate her to their liking?


    And I got caught up in it.


    "Hmph... This is boring..."


    "Princess Aris? What, have you finished reading already?"


    "Yes..."


    Thump, I hand the book back to Tessa and leave the library.


    Really, no excitement, no fun.


    ¡ªAnd no brains either, what a bad writing.


    Curses that affect the mind are high-level curses in themselves, and therefore very difficult to cast.


    They don''t just work easily after being cast once, they require a medium to continuously inject the curse into the target.


    Something that needs to be carried on the body at all times.


    Underwear, clothes, or accessories.


    "Hmm, is it that?"


    I heard that a Duke recently gifted a pair of earrings made with black pearls.


    Big sis seemed to like them and often wore them on her right ear.


    Since they weren''t detected by any detection talismans, it means that they were probably ordinary earrings at first, and then secretly switched with cursed earrings when the opportunity arose.


    Little by little, was he planning to slowly brainwash her during her childhood when her mind isn''t fully developed?


    Oh dear.


    I already called dibs on big sis.


    If there''s something that Duke didn''t predict, it''s that big sis is in a much more precarious state than he thought.


    Since cracks are already appearing like this.


    At this rate, it''s only a matter of time before she''s found out. Hmm.


    "Ugh..."


    I start a new calculation. I add the effect of the mind-altering curse to my constant prodding and poking at my sister''s side.


    In my jumbled memories, this kind of situation wasn''t unheard of. Rather, it happened quite often, and it was a method I used a few times myself.


    Tag, Mind Break. Super fun.


    Originally, the timeframe I had in mind was about 5 years... Hmm...


    About, 2 years? No, it could be 1 year if it''s short.


    The time left until the explosion, that is.


    Boom~!


    "Hehehe!"


    Ah, this is going to be fun.


    Turning an unexpected situation into part of the script.


    That''s what it means to be a professional director.


    Now, how should I cook this up?


    * * *

 Chapter 6: Countdown.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 6 ¡µ Chapter 6. Countdown.


    * * *


    **


    New discoveries, new characters, hardships, and adversity.


    A villain appearing in the play, Duke Aquitaine, has been added.


    That''s all.


    Even though I knew this would happen, the stance I had to take didn''t change.


    Yes, I''ve always been consistent.


    Playing and having fun with big sis Remi, reciprocating my parents'' loving touch with affection, and generously showering big sis Anna with love, even though it''s a one-sided love that will end in heartbreak.


    The things I had to do remained unchanged.


    Always.


    Forever. sea??h th§× NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Until my soul rots and decays¡ª


    **


    Betrayal? Conspiracy? Backstabbing?


    I''ve experienced such crude things countless times. A case like this? Honestly, I only felt that it was too clumsy and weak.


    To be honest, I don''t feel anything when I see these kinds of people anymore.


    Rather, a sense of pity?


    A fight, in the first place, is only possible when everyone is on the same playing field.


    "Ugh... Big sis Anna has been so scary lately..."


    "...She''s probably stressed from studying. Come on! Let''s play by ourselves! That first princess is going to be the queen anyway. Hmph!"


    After that, the snowball I rolled for months started rolling towards Remi as well.


    The relationship between us sisters, which should have been very good, started to crack. Even at pranks she would normally accept cheerfully, she began to react sharply, so Remi must have gotten angry.


    Hmm... I''m sorry.


    To tell you the results of my investigation, it was indeed Duke Aquitaine. The one who gifted the black pearl earrings to big sis Anna, and the one who cast the curse.


    After a bit of research, I could feel a black energy emanating from the earrings, enveloping big sis Anna.


    Of course, I couldn''t be certain just from the fact that he gave them to her, but my intuition, which I trust more than anything else, told me so.


    My intuition is practically a Magic Conch Shell.


    The verdict is death, bam bam! (TL Note: Get it? Like the judge hammering when they reach a sentence¡­ Never mind, delete this later.)


    The one who dies is me.


    "...Big sis, have you finished your homework?"


    "...Eek!?"


    "...Haa..."


    "I-I was going to do it right after playing, yeah, right after we played!"


    Big sis Remi was always the same.


    Lazing around every day, going to the flower garden with me to look at flowers, playing hide-and-seek, eating snacks, repeating that kind of life.


    You''re so lazy... Big sis...


    She seems to have gained some weight lately, should I just gobble her up?


    Wow.


    "¡ªNom."


    "Eeeeeek! Ah, Aris!!"


    "This is your punishment for lying¡ª Nom."


    "I-I''m sorryyy!!!"


    I gently nibbled on her belly fat. Not painfully. Like a kitten biting its owner''s finger.


    Is it called nibbling? I don''t remember well.


    Big sis Remi flinches and twists her body in surprise. She must have been ticklish, as her breathing became ragged and her face flushed red.


    Oh?


    So this is her weak spot.


    Since I made a good discovery, I nibbled on her a few more times as a bonus. Her reaction is just too good. She tells me to stop, but no way. Nom.


    One bite, two bites...


    Because of big sis''s vigorous movements, we both lost our balance and tumbled in the flower garden, covered in dirt, hugging each other.


    "Ah... Aris!!"


    "Heehee~ Catch me if you can~"


    Tata-da, I successfully escaped from Remi at high speed. She chases after me, smiling as she sees me running away.


    Uh, she''s too fast.


    "Ah, Big sis! Count! Don''t forget to count!!"


    "No way! You''re dead meat if I catch you!! I''m going to drag you into the bath with me today!!"


    "¡ªEeeeeeh!? That''s too much!!!"


    It seems Remi is determined today.


    If I get caught, I don''t think I''ll be able to maintain my composure.


    With the determination to escape, I run out of the flower garden gate. Remi is hot on my heels.


    Even though I''m running at a speed that''s hard for a child to achieve, thanks to her natural talent, Remi is somehow keeping up with me.


    Amazing. Wow.


    Is this what a true genius is?


    If she added effort on top of that, it feels like a terrifying human being would be born.


    Big sis''s true potential, which she occasionally shows.


    Every time I see that side of her, I wonder if I should have devised a plan to use Remi to fuel big sis Anna''s inferiority complex.


    She''s the second princess, and if she really put her mind to it, she could create a faction and overthrow the current order, right?


    Well, it''s too late now.


    "Waaaaah!!"


    "St-Stop right there!!"


    Heh, I''m running away!


    I smiled, looking at Remi, whose speed was slowly decreasing due to exhaustion.


    Come on, who would actually stop just because someone told them to? Big sis Remi is really naive¡ª


    ¡ªThud.


    "¡ªOuch!"


    "....!!"


    Found you.


    Oh dear, I bumped into someone.


    My light and fragile body couldn''t withstand the impact and I fell backward, landing on my butt. The person I bumped into stood still.


    A shadow falls over me.


    From someone''s perspective, it would look like I bumped into them while running hastily around the corner without paying attention.


    Well, I knew someone was walking there.


    And I knew who it was, too.


    "...Aris."


    "Big sis Anna! Long time no see¡ª!"


    Anna Akaia.


    My older sister.


    The first princess.


    She was looking down at me, who had fallen.


    **


    After not seeing her for a while, she looked incredibly exhausted.


    Even though she was in the shade, her haggard appearance was noticeable at a glance.


    Anna had begun her successor training in earnest. She started devoting herself to her studies and martial arts, cutting into her sleep time to the point where it was worrisome for her health. That must be the reason.


    Because of that, I haven''t been able to see and play with her much lately. Even when I did see her, it was only a few times, from afar, while she was studying.


    She''s really changed a lot.


    I didn''t know a person could change so much in such a short time.


    "Big sis Anna, how have you been? Have you been eating well? Ah, that''s right, I made a new flower crown yesterday, and¡ª"


    "¡ªAris."


    "...Yes?"


    For a moment, I thought I''d misheard.


    That''s how cold her voice was.


    It was chilling.


    Wow, for a second, I almost fell for her.


    That voice, unable to hide her fatigue and irritation.


    It was as if a heavy sense of responsibility was weighing down on Anna''s shoulders. You''re such a fool, big sis, trying so hard to reciprocate that weight that''s only crushing you.


    She probably just wanted to live happily with her sisters.


    Anna must have wanted to live up to the expectations of her little sister, who approached her despite her being quiet and lacking in charm.


    A father who is revered as a benevolent ruler, a mother who is gentle and always welcomes us with a smile, two adorable younger sisters.


    Originally, she would have grown up well in such an environment and become the queen who would lead the kingdom.


    It''s a real shame.


    "¡ªGo back if you have nothing to say, Aris."


    "...B-Big sis...?"


    "No, I''ll be the one to go back. I still have a lot to do. Then, excuse me."


    Anna turns back the way she came without even looking at me, who had fallen, or offering a hand.


    The palm of my hand that scraped against the ground when I fell stings.


    ¡ªLick


    "...Gulp."


    I lift my hand and suck and lick the blood oozing from my palm.


    On my tongue, it just tastes like water. The only difference is a slight, dry, metallic feeling in my throat?


    Covering my mouth with my hand, I smile.


    "...Big sis Anna...? Why...?"


    "......."


    "Big sis! Don''t go...! Big sis...!!"


    "......."


    I shouted. In order to somehow stop those relentless footsteps, I tried to throw a lifeline to my foolish sister who was walking into hell on her own.


    Even though I was the one who pushed her there in the first place.


    Her steps didn''t stop. Only her trembling shoulders told me that she had heard my words.


    This accumulating guilt will only weigh her down further.


    When did things go wrong? Is she thinking that?


    Because she wasn''t talented?


    And yet, she wanted to be a ''good ruler''?


    She''s probably lost in such amusing imaginations, thinking that if only she had Remi''s talent...


    "Big sis...! I''m sorry for bumping into you! So... Don''t go... Let''s... Let''s play together... Big sis Anna..."


    "...I''m past the age of playing games."


    With that cold remark, she turned her head and completely disappeared from my sight.


    To unravel this incomplete chain of hatred, we need to go back to the beginning, to why she yearned to be a ''good ruler.''


    Because she felt the warmth of family.


    Because she wanted to be like her parents.


    Because she had the support of her adorable younger sisters, Aris and Remi.


    Because she wanted her family to live happily in a happy kingdom.


    A repayment for all the happiness she received in her life.


    That''s why she wanted to be queen.


    But it''s too late now.


    "Don''t go... Big sis Anna..."


    "Aris?! What''s wrong! Why are you sitting there!?"


    Remi, who found me wiping away tears with my small hands, quickly ran over.


    I cried.


    Today is such a joyous day.


    Isn''t the day a person is born a very happy day? And on that day, everyone cries with one heart and one mind.


    Tears for a happy day.


    Yes, that''s right, I''m crying because I''m so happy too.


    "Aris... There, there. Stop crying!"


    "Wuuu... Sniff..."


    The fuse of the firework has been lit.


    The fuse is winding down like a rusty clockwork, tick-tock.


    I''m so excited. I don''t think I''ll be able to sleep properly. I feel like I''ll be staying up all night, every night.


    It''s so hard to wait.


    I just want to express my sincere gratitude to the Duke who gave her those earrings. For shortening the time frame.


    Well,


    I don''t know when that will be.


    But one thing is certain¡ª


    This explosion, yes, it will be truly beautiful.


    **


    "A hunting competition..."


    "Well, wouldn''t it be nice for a change of pace? Honey. Anna seems to be struggling a lot lately."


    "If you say so...."


    * * *

 Chapter 7: Play.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 7 ¡µ Chapter 7. Play.


    * * *


    **


    Just as I thought, or perhaps just as I calculated,


    My relationship with Anna began to crumble rapidly, like falling off a cliff.


    For Anna, it must have felt like crossing a river of no return? She turned away coldly, leaving me behind as I burst into tears.


    Ah, this is good.


    So, good. Sear?h the ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    After that incident, Anna began to treat everything coldly, to the point where even a stranger could tell she had changed a lot.


    What am I doing, you ask?


    Well, of course¡ª


    Knock, knock, knock ¡ú knock, knock ¡ú knock, knock!


    "Do you want to build a snowman~??"


    "...Go away."


    "...Okay... Sorry for bothering you."


    "..."


    I was still hanging around big sis Anna.


    Wow, this isn''t working.


    I tried to imitate a scene from my first life, a memory that''s fading but more strongly imprinted than any other life, but to no avail.


    Winter came and the first snow fell, so I invited her to build a snowman together, but as expected, I got rejected.


    That''s the 75th time I''ve done this. Tch, she''s a brick wall.


    Despite my advances, big sis Anna''s walls showed no sign of crumbling.


    Well, if she crumbled this easily, I would have been even more disappointed.


    Despite my efforts, her heart seems to be hardening even more. Or should I say, her heart is like a dry and parched land, hardening.


    The more it hardens, the more it''ll shatter without any time to recover once a crack appears.


    Like a porcelain doll cracking.


    Heehee.


    Despite her rejection, I continued to act like a cheerful and bright child, pretending that nothing had happened.


    However, I did show a tiny bit of sadness.


    "...Aris, were you here again..?"


    "...Yes..."


    "Haa... Come here, let''s play."


    Hug.


    Shiver, shiver, my body temperature was starting to drop due to the cold wind.


    I was thinking of staying a little longer and faking a fainting spell due to the cold, but Remi found me first.


    It''s a shame, but this situation isn''t so bad either.


    Remi runs towards me and embraces me warmly.


    As always, she''s such a warm sister.


    How wonderful it would be if she cried?


    Every time I imagined her weeping while holding my cold body, I felt a sense of happiness.


    Ah, I want to see it.


    But the most regrettable thing is that if I die, I won''t be able to see it with my own eyes.


    She held my hands, blew warm air on them, and slowly thawed them. I felt a slight tingling sensation as the blood started to circulate again.


    Hmm, I almost got frostbite. I didn''t know. Wow, my hands are blue.


    Was I outside for about two hours?


    I kept talking to her through the door, but all I got were rejections. Later, she didn''t even answer and just ignored me.


    The effect is definitely there.


    "Anna, you idiot! Stupid! Sea anemone!"


    "D-Don''t say that! It''s... It''s all my fault..."


    "Aris did nothing wrong! That stuffy, blockhead is the problem!"


    Don''t say bad things about big sis Anna...


    Aris is so kind despite this! Ugh! I hope she cuts her finger on paper while reading a book!


    Th-that''s a bit much..


    Right!? That''s what bookworms deserve!


    Remi tried her best to cheer me up, saying she''d punish Anna, calling her a reincarnated monster who was a bookworm in her past life, and I finally burst into laughter.


    Seeing me laugh, she started laughing too. As we laughed, my body temperature gradually returned to normal.


    Every time I saw Remi''s pure actions for me, I felt so happy, like a parent watching their child''s adorable antics.


    As we walked some distance away from Anna''s residence with Remi, she suddenly spoke to me.


    "I want to see it!"


    It was a disjointed phrase, but we had long understood each other, able to read each other''s thoughts with just a glance.


    Uh... That?


    Yes! That!


    Actually, I don''t know either.


    "Eh... I''m embarrassed... I''m still not very good at it..."


    "I love everything Aris does! I want to see it! I want to see it~! Show me your dance~"


    "Uh¡ªThen... I''m only showing it to you, okay?"


    "I love you, Aris!"


    I love you too.


    I continued to maintain a good relationship with big sis Remi. In fact, she stuck to me like glue.


    And since I always gave in to her, we never fought.


    When we bathed, I tried to push her away gently, saying I was embarrassed, but she just barged in, saying she wanted to see my blushing face, so I gave up.


    To be honest, I don''t really mind.


    We were practically together all the time, except for maybe two or three hours a day.


    Since I helped her with her studies and homework when she didn''t understand something, played with her, and sang her lullabies when she slept, she seemed to see me as a parent figure.


    Our parents, being the king and queen of the kingdom, were busy.


    It felt like a newborn chick imprinting on a vulture tearing apart a carcass, mistaking it for its mother.


    "Hmm~ Hmm~ Aris''s dance~"


    "You like it that much?"


    "Of course I do!"


    I led Remi''s hand and headed towards the flower garden.


    On the way, we stopped by my room and I picked up a sword. My custom-made sword.


    Teacher Fayne said I had nothing left to learn from him.


    He gave it to me as a graduation gift, as a bonus.


    Haha, what a character, Teacher.


    Hey~ You know, just outside our sight, around the corner of the building, big sis Anna was eavesdropping, and you praised me so much in front of her.


    Is it possible... Teacher, you too?


    Well, probably not.


    With Teacher Fayne''s unexpected assist, I returned to my room in high spirits.


    Big sis Anna? Well, she probably snuck back to her room and felt anxious or resentful towards me, right?


    The day when all that affection turns into love-hate, and then into hatred, isn''t far off.


    After that, I was thinking about what to do with my time. Practicing swordsmanship? I''ve been doing it for thousands of years, and there''s no point in doing it for a few more years here.


    Lost in thought, I suddenly had the urge to perform a sword dance.


    And then, Remi saw me practicing alone in the flower garden and insisted that I show it to her, which is what''s happening now.


    Hmm.


    But, this sword is too soft.


    ¡ªTing


    "Hmm~ That''s a nice sound."


    "Really? I like it if you like it, Big sis."


    "Ugh... You little cutie!"


    I flicked the sword lightly with my finger. The clear, resonant sound filled the flower garden. The sound is beautiful, but the performance is... uh¡­


    It''s probably rude to compare it to swords from the future.


    Even a simple plate made of a proper alloy, cut into the shape of a sword, would be stronger and more durable than most of the famous swords in the royal palace.


    Still, I can''t help but feel a sense of disappointment.


    Well, it''s not just this sword, but all the other swords have been downgraded like this, so let''s call it even.


    I smiled bitterly.


    "...Are you still thinking about big sis Anna...?"


    "..U-Uh? Ah... Yes..."


    Leaving Remi behind, who made a gloomy expression looking at me, I slowly walked to the center of the flower garden.


    It feels strange to be driving a wedge between them, but it also feels exhilarating to think that this is the influence of my existence on them.


    Ah, I feel alive.


    Now, then.


    "Waaaaah!! Aris! Aris!"


    "Uuuu... Don''t tease me!"


    "Heehee, sorry~"


    I take my stance.


    Two audience members.


    Over there, in the flower garden, is big sis Remi, cheering me on. Clapping and cheering, her enthusiasm no less vibrant than the flowers blooming around her.


    She''s my regular audience.


    And, far away, in the gap between the buildings.


    "......."


    One audience member, watching me with empty eyes.


    Since she wants to watch secretly, I should pretend I don''t know. The privacy of the audience is more important than anything else. I won''t reveal who she is.


    However, I will tell you that it''s a very familiar face.


    Clap, clap.


    This humble performer is truly grateful that so many audience members have come to see this crude dance.


    It''s an honor beyond my worth.


    Now, ladies and gentlemen¡ª, no, let me start over.


    Now, Ladies, let the show begin.


    I hummed a tune. No lyrics, just a melody through the nose with closed lips.


    Listening to my melody, I moved my body not by controlling the sword with my will, but by following the direction the sword seemed to want to move.


    You might ask, how can an inanimate object have a will and move on its own?


    Honestly, it sounds like bullshit even to me, but after swinging it for so long, I started to understand.


    Swords were a common tool in most of the worlds I''ve lived in. Sometimes for self-defense, as a primary weapon, as a secondary weapon, or as a tool to cut through nature, and even as decorations for various ceremonies. They were my friends.


    I''ve probably swung a sword for, like, a thousand years?


    Is that an exaggeration? Hmm... I haven''t counted, so I''m not sure.


    "...Wow!"


    "......~"


    The content of the dance, let''s see.


    The tragedy of Medea, that would be good. (Tl Note: It¡¯s an Ancient Greek play)


    A tragic woman, driven to kill her own children by the machinations of the gods.


    The protagonist of a tragedy, who brutally murdered her brother for love, dismembered his body, and threw the pieces one by one into the sea.


    She seems like a villainess, but in later generations, she was exceptionally evaluated as a female hero.


    In the hopeless world of Greek and Roman mythology, she successfully took her revenge, her children became kings, and she achieved a happy ending.


    "Hoo¡ª!"


    "Amazing...!"


    A round of applause for the protagonist who will become the future Medea!


    And death for the future Apsyrtus, me!


    In the flower garden, I twirled, holding a mirror-like, clear sword.


    Twirl, twirl.


    Twirl.


    Twirl, twirl.


    Ah, this is fun.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 8: Madness.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 8 ¡µ Chapter 8. Madness.


    * * *


    **


    A quiet and peaceful day in the middle of winter, the exact date escapes my memory, only the falling snow remains vivid.


    Our family was having a harmonious time together in the room, watching Aris, who had just turned four, play adorably.


    Remi held Aris in her small embrace. It was a posture that seemed uncomfortable for both Remi and Aris, but they just smiled at each other, content.


    Mother was sitting in a rocking chair, knitting.


    And Father was sitting at a round table, having a pleasant conversation with me.


    It was a rare day when the whole family was gathered together.


    "Anna, what do you think is the most important quality for a king to have?"


    Father suddenly posed a question to me.


    It was a vague question, and I asked Father again to confirm if I understood correctly.


    "Are you asking about the most important virtue a king should possess?"


    "Well, you could say that."


    Ability, virtue.


    I racked my brain to understand the intent of his question.


    Tap, tap, I tapped on the table. But the table couldn''t tell me anything. It''s not like there''s writing on it. Even I know that there''s no such thing as a magic mirror from fairy tales that answers when you ask it questions.


    I looked at Father''s face, hoping for some kind of hint, but he just smiled gently and looked back at me.


    What could it be?


    Many answers came to mind.


    From diplomacy to networking, social skills, intelligence that encompassed them all, and so on. I narrowed down the candidates for a suitable answer.


    But none of them came out of my mouth. They all could be the correct answer, for different reasons.


    At the same time, none of them could be the right answer.


    I just remained silent, fidgeting restlessly.


    Was I afraid of getting it wrong, or did I not want to voice my crude opinion to Father?


    Silence fell upon the room. It wasn''t a cold, chilling silence, but a warm, comfortable silence filled with the crackling of firewood in the fireplace. Not a silence of reprimand, but a silence of patient anticipation, like parents waiting for a late child.


    And the one who broke the silence¡ª


    Was none other than Remi.


    "Me! Me! I know!"


    "Oh, is that so? Our Remi, do you know the answer?"


    "Yes!"


    Remi stretched out one arm, shouting that she knew the answer. Aris, nestled in her arms, saw that and mimicked her, raising her arm as well.


    Mother laughed, saying they were both so adorable.


    "It''s strength!"


    "Oh...?" S§×arch* The n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    "Yes! You just need to be super strong and boom! Defeat everyone!"


    Strength. Individual physical power.


    It was one of the candidates I had considered, but I ruled it out, thinking that individual strength wouldn''t be of much help in ruling a kingdom.


    Making strange sound effects with her mouth, Remi excitedly waved her hand as if she had gotten the answer right. Aris, seeing that, imitated her again.


    Don''t imitate such bad things... Aris... It''s bad, bad.


    Bad?


    Yes, that''s right. Bad. You shouldn''t copy Remi.


    Is Remi, bad?


    Yes.


    I ignored Remi''s glare at me. I desperately prayed to the heavens that Aris wouldn''t grow up to be as much of a troublemaker as Remi.


    Hearing her answer, Father just smiled without saying a word.


    Was it... not the right answer?


    One candidate was eliminated. But I still didn''t know anything. It felt like playing a game of twenty questions where I could only ask one question. There was no way I could get it right.


    I couldn''t glean anything from Father''s enigmatic expression.


    Finally, unable to bear the silence any longer, I chose the candidate that I thought was most likely the correct answer.


    "I think it''s intelligence."


    "Oh, that''s not a bad answer."


    Intelligence. This was also a vague answer. It was a word that encompassed a vast range of meanings.


    I nervously looked at Father, but he just spread his arms wide and said there was no right answer to my question~.


    He just wanted to know how we thought and why.


    There was no right answer?


    I felt a little foolish for being so nervous.


    "Ah! Remi, you got it right too."


    "Heehee~ As expected, I''m amazing! Right, Aris!"


    "Yes!"


    Remi leaned her head down and received a pat from Aris.


    Good job, Big sis~ You''re cool~


    Yes, yes! I worked hard! Heehee~


    Every time I saw that scene, I felt a strange emotion.


    From the day Aris was born, Remi hadn''t thought about leaving her side. They ate together, bathed together, and she cherished Aris as if she was her own child.


    Aris, who grew up by the side of the carefree Remi, was strangely mature. Remi is four years older than Aris, but why does it feel like Aris is taking care of Remi?


    It''s an unsolved mystery in my heart.


    "So Aris, what do you think?"


    "Hmm~?"


    Suddenly, Father posed the question to Aris, who was nestled in Remi''s arms. Aris just tilted her head and stared at Father.


    Seeing that, Mother scolded him.


    It was too difficult a question for a four-year-old child.


    "Honey, how could Aris know that?"


    "Haha... I was just asking."


    "Uhhh..."


    Aris held her head in her hands and started groaning in thought.


    She looked so cute, I seriously wondered if the most important ability for a king was to have a child like Aris.


    My precious little sister, who warms my heart.


    My little sister, who I am so proud of.


    "¡ªIt''s kindness!"


    "...?!"


    Aris raised her hands high and declared. Father''s eyes widened in surprise. Mother stopped knitting and looked at Aris.


    Remi... well, as usual, she just laughed cheerfully while holding Aris.


    "Why do you think so?"


    Father asked for the reason.


    Was it just my imagination?


    Father''s voice seemed to have lowered slightly.


    The reason. He hadn''t asked for a reason when I or Remi answered.


    The smile Father had given us, as if he could guess the reason without us saying anything.


    That smile was gone.


    As if he truly wanted to know the reason, Father looked at Aris with a serious expression.


    In this unfamiliar atmosphere, I just watched them silently.


    And Aris, the subject of this attention¡ª


    "¡ªBecause, Daddy isn''t strong and isn''t smart!"


    "Cough, cough, uh, Aris..?"


    She spoke those sharp words with a bright smile.


    Father, the king of the nation, wore a flustered expression that didn''t suit his position and asked Aris again.


    "I feel sorry for Mommy who married Daddy... Mommy is too kind..."


    "That''s my girl! I love you!"


    "I love you too, Mommy!"


    Hearing that, Mother clenched her fists and cheered for Aris. She said she should have rejected him when he gave her flowers, that he''s a deadbeat except for his face and personality, and that she doesn''t know why she ever liked him.


    Mother promised to give Aris a snack later. Remi was happy as if it were her own reward.


    Well, Aris''s snacks mostly end up in Remi''s hands anyway.


    By the way, Mother... You seem to have bottled up a lot...


    Everyone burst into laughter and cheered. Except for Father.


    Father just looked at Mother with sad eyes. His trademark, according to Mother, sad deer-like eyes. She says she wants to tease him even more whenever she sees them.


    "¡ªBut, Daddy is definitely a su~per greaaat king!"


    Aris continued speaking amidst the cheerful atmosphere.


    Unlike me, who hesitated to answer, she spoke confidently, as if she was sure of her answer.


    Unlike me.


    "Daddy definitely isn''t strong, isn''t smart, and gets scolded by Mommy all the time..."


    "C-Could you please stop? I-It feels worse than before? Honey, doesn¡¯t it hurt?"


    "Be quiet, dear. Before I hit you in front of the child."


    A wise ruler.


    In front of us, Father was under Mother''s thumb, but objectively, Marco Akaia, my father, was undoubtedly worthy of being called the current king.


    Although there would be those who disagreed, of course.


    A king loved by many citizens, a king I aspire to be like.


    Why couldn''t I recognize the answer that was right in front of me?


    "Soldiers fight wars. Lords and nobles govern. Bakers bake, and carpenters build!"


    ".......Ari..s?"


    I looked at Aris.


    A simple statement, perhaps obvious from a four-year-old child.


    But I couldn''t shake the feeling that wisdom and knowledge beyond my comprehension were embedded in her words.


    "¡ªThen what should the king do?"


    Before I knew it, I was asking Aris a question.


    What was my tone like?


    Was it desperate, or perhaps¡ª


    I don''t remember well.


    It was the pathetic struggle of Anna Akaia, who was turning ten next month, six years older than the four-year-old Aris.


    "What should a king do? when all they do is leave governing, politics, war, and diplomacy to others?"


    "...Big sis Anna¡ª?"


    Remi called my name, as if sensing something strange about me. But her words didn''t reach my ears.


    I just wanted to know.


    Hearing my question, Aris looked at me and smiled faintly.


    And then Aris¡ª


    "They should stay by their side and watch to see if they''re doing well."


    As if teaching me, she began to explain the reason in a soft voice.


    "And if they make a mistake, scold them and receive the punishment together."


    "Saying, ''I''m sorry I couldn''t guide you properly.''"


    "Punishment is difficult to bear alone, but it''s not so hard when you bear it together, right?"


    "To share the responsibility together."


    "I think that''s, ¡ªkindness."


    "......"


    When I came to my senses, Father had left for work, and Remi and Aris had gone outside to play.


    Even Mother had left, and I was alone in the room.


    I just stared blankly at the ceiling.


    I didn''t know if Aris''s answer was what Father wanted.


    He didn''t tell us.


    But I was convinced.


    That Aris was¡ª


    More suited to be a king than I am¡ª


    **


    "My head... Hurts..."


    It felt like a giant needle was piercing my brain.


    Conflicting emotions were swirling and clashing within my heart.


    Self-loathing, depression, regret, emotions that were of no help in life were pulling me down.


    Jealousy, envy, greed, ugly emotions that were harming my body were pushing me from behind.


    Where was I heading, I wondered.


    Hell?


    Ah, yes, that must be it.


    Outside, where a harsh wind was blowing, Aris was persistently knocking on the door, showing no signs of leaving.


    Continuously.


    ¡ªKnock, knock.


    Continuously.


    ¡ªKnock, knock.


    ¡ªKnock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock


    "¡ªBig sis Anna... Let''s play together...!"


    "...noying..." (TL Note: Annoying)


    "I''m sorry...!"


    "Sorry..."


    "So¡ª"


    "Again...!"


    ¡ªBang.


    "¡ªShut up!!!!"


    I slammed my hand on the desk. My hand turned red instantly. The pain subsided and a burning sensation began to spread.


    As soon as I slammed my hand down, the knocking sound from outside the door stopped.


    An empty room, devoid of any sound.


    I thought it was finally quiet, but then a guard hurriedly opened the door and entered.


    Why, are, you, all, bothering, me..!


    What, did I do wrong!!


    "Princess... What''s going on in the middle of the night..."


    "It''s nothing... Get out."


    "Princess..."


    "¡ªI said get out!! Are you ignoring me!!?"


    The guard just stared at me for a few seconds and then left without a word, closing the door.


    The cold night air that entered through the gap as the door opened and closed brushed past my body.


    "...My head hurts."


    Staggering.


    I clutched my throbbing head, held onto the desk, stood up, and headed for the bed.


    .


    Outside the door the guard had opened, no one was standing there.


    Neither Aris nor Remi, who was always by her side, nor anyone else.


    Yes, that''s only natural.


    ¡ªIt was the middle of the night, when no one was supposed to be wandering around.


    "It hurts... Help me..."


    It felt like I was gradually turning into something unknown.


    It hurts.


    It''s suffocating.


    I''m exhausted.


    Someone... help me.


    "...Aris¡ª"


    Aris...


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 9: Fox Hunt.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here S§×ar?h the ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 9 ¡µ Chapter 9. Fox Hunt.


    * * *


    **


    Anna''s appearance was deteriorating rapidly.


    Even someone who didn''t know Anna''s usual state would think, "That''s bad."


    Dark circles under her eyes, unfocused gaze, delayed reaction time... How should I describe it?


    Ah, yes.


    She looks drained.


    As if sensing the gravity of the situation, our parents seemed to be worrying quite a bit about Anna''s current state. They seemed to think it was stress from her studies.


    Stress, well, it''s not wrong.


    Stress from her studies, that''s also not wrong.


    The problem is, it''s not something to be taken so lightly.


    Unlike Remi, who was always causing trouble, Anna had always treated others with an exemplary and sincere attitude, so the shock of seeing her like this was doubled for those who knew her.


    And at the same time, ¡ª it made them think optimistically that she would return to her usual self with a little rest.


    Because she was such a good child.


    They thought that after a little time, everything would be alright.


    That she would finish this temporary deviation and return to her usual self.


    Because Anna was the child who never disappointed anyone''s expectations.


    Oh dear.


    I don''t think she''ll come back so easily.


    Heehee.


    "What in the world... has happened..!!"


    "Your Grace... Control yourself...!"


    Duke Aquitaine, whom I passed by in the royal palace, looked incredibly anxious.


    He was fidgeting restlessly, forgetting even the basic aristocratic composure.


    It''s understandable. Anna''s current state must be quite a thorn in his side.


    A guilty conscience needs no accuser, isn''t that what they say?


    Oh no, my feet suddenly feel numb. (TL Note: It¡¯s a nice play on words, since the proverb in korean for ¡®a guilty conscience needs no accuser¡¯ is ¡®The thief''s own feet feel numb¡¯ since ya know this guy is also guilty.)


    "Aris? What''s wrong, does your feet hurt!?"


    "..Y-Yes. They hurt a little..."


    "Why were you standing still like an idiot outside in the middle of winter...!! Geez..!!"


    Remi sat me down on a nearby rock and forcefully took off my shoes. My feet were slightly purplish.


    After letting out a big sigh, Remi carefully started massaging my feet.


    "Th-They''re... dirty!"


    "Shh! Stay still!"


    Does it hurt?


    It doesn''t hurt at all when big sis is touching it... I-It''s true!


    Haah, really...


    Eeeeeek!!?


    Hey, hey!


    W-Wait a minute!!


    Even though I tried to wriggle free because it tickled, she showed no sign of letting go of my feet.


    After that, they were thoroughly kneaded.


    Hmph.


    The Duke''s plan was to gradually shake Anna''s mind from childhood, become a maternal relative through marriage, and then manipulate her after she ascended to the throne, taking advantage of her mental distress.


    But oh my? It seems the cursed earrings he gave her were more effective than he expected. How unfortunate.


    He must have hired a very skilled shaman. Congratulations, Duke.


    Right now, he''s probably thinking about how to get the earrings back.


    Yes, Duke Aquitaine is the bad guy.


    It''s all his fault.


    Such a bad person.


    Right?


    To do such a thing to my sister... Unforgivable!


    Give us back our kind and gentle sister!


    Well, I''m the one who did it, though.


    For now, thanks to the exemplary student image Anna has built up, people believe it''s just a temporary hysteria caused by academic stress that will soon pass...


    But what if her condition worsens, and someone in the royal palace becomes suspicious of Anna''s behavior?


    Princess Anna would never act like this! Something must be wrong!


    The moment someone starts suspecting something, things will escalate.


    Boom, just like that.


    If it goes further and an investigation is launched, they''ll undoubtedly find traces of a curse.


    Because It''s already deeply embedded within Anna.


    Naturally, the curse on the earrings will also be exposed, and suspicion will fall upon Duke Aquitaine.


    The Duke, who gambled on something uncertain, will lose his hand.


    Chop, just like that.


    If he wanted to manipulate a person according to his will, shouldn''t he have been prepared to take a gamble himself along with it?


    Well... Shall we start?


    Oh dear, I accidentally chopped off your head off? Sorry. Did it hurt? Ah, you can''t speak, can you?


    I''ll assume it didn''t hurt.


    Then shall we try chopping off his wrist again?


    Ta-da, ta-da, ta-da.


    Chop.


    That''s just my prediction, and I think it''ll play out similarly.


    I don''t know how things will be settled after everything is over.


    But one thing is for sure, those involved in this incident will at least suffer consequences.


    Anna, who is gradually breaking down, the Duke, who is becoming increasingly anxious, and even our parents, who have started to harbor suspicions.


    I believe now is the best time.


    If I delay any further, I might lose the opportunity forever.


    And a perfect opportunity has presented itself.


    "A hunting competition! I want to go too!"


    "You''re that excited? Are you sure you''ll be okay?"


    "Yes, yes! Anything is good if I''m with Remi!! I''ll catch everything for you!"


    "Kyaaaaah!! I love you so much too, Aris!"


    Hug.


    Our parents decided to hold a winter hunting competition as a way to relieve Anna''s stress. It was an event planned with the hope that she would feel a little better after running around freely in the vast fields and beautiful mountains.


    To ensure the safety of the young princesses who were still too young to hunt, all dangerous animals were eliminated or driven away in advance.


    The knights had combed through the entire area, so all threatening beasts had been killed or temporarily relocated.


    The only animals left would be rabbits and foxes huddled in their burrows, or deer with beautiful antlers.


    It''s literally hunting for fun.


    I, who was originally prohibited from entering the hunting grounds, was finally allowed to participate this year, as I had just turned ten. Of course, Teacher Fayne''s praise for me played a significant role in this decision.


    He said that even if all the incompetent knights here joined forces, they wouldn''t be able to defeat me, or something like that?


    Father, who seemed to trust Fayne quite a bit, readily granted my request to participate in the hunt.


    I''m a woman who''s weak to praise. Thank you, Fayne!


    Well, the knights are nothing to me¡ªI can handle them with one hand tied behind my back.


    ".........."


    "¡ªHuh!? Big sis Anna!! You finally came out!!"


    But do they know that even I can''t withstand an attack from my one and only blood relative?


    Ah, if my precious sister points a sword at me, with my tender heart, I would have no choice but to accept it without resistance.


    Stab, stab, stab, stab, like that.


    Gooey, gooey. Spurt.


    Hmm...


    Just imagining it brings a smile to my face.


    It would be a truly sweet and beautiful sight.


    "I''ve been waiting for you!! I called you from outside your room, but you didn''t answer..."


    "........"


    I limped slightly and ran towards her.


    Tata-da-da.


    "...B-Big sis!?"


    "........"


    "Pl-Please... Answer me!!"


    "......."


    I approached Anna with quick steps, but she didn''t even look at me, just stared blankly at the sky.


    It wasn''t that she was deliberately ignoring me; she seemed to genuinely not recognize me. Her eyes, which should have reflected the azure sky, were incredibly dark.


    Only after I tugged on her sleeve a few times did she acknowledge me.


    And then, she looked at me with a cold gaze.


    It wasn''t the gaze with a hint of bewilderment that she had shown me before.


    It was a pure gaze, devoid of any lingering feelings.


    Eyes that were purely saying, "I want to kill you."


    Wow, it''s really serious.


    This is thrilling.


    Scary.


    Heeheehee.


    Heehee.


    Big sis, have you finally come to terms with your heart?


    I''m so happy.


    Ah¡ª Big sis, I really love you.


    Anna didn''t even answer me, just stared at me for a moment, then walked past me, heading towards her room.


    Remi, who had followed me, saw Anna and let out every curse word she knew. She called her heartless, said she had iron flowing in her veins instead of blood for walking away without saying anything after seeing Aris, that she has no manners, and so on.


    But in Remi''s eyes, there was an undeniable worry for Anna.


    Well, until just a year ago, they were laughing and playing pranks on each other.


    Remi probably wants to go back to those times too.


    "Let''s... go back too..."


    "...Okay..."


    Tap.


    Remi and I held hands and started walking back to our room. Unlike my cold hand, Remi''s hand was so warm it felt like it would melt mine.


    I prayed to a god I didn''t believe in, hoping that her love for me would last forever.


    And, in the distance.


    I hoped that Anna, who was looking at me with genuine murderous intent, would keep moving forward with that strong heart.


    I wagged my tail.


    Sway, sway.


    A seductive dance, calling to the hunter.


    The hunt will begin soon.


    Sway, sway.


    Sway, sway.


    **


    Even if you remove the hands from a clock and draw the curtains, the sun continues on its path.


    The sun doesn''t care about their circumstances.


    Time flowed like water, soaking an entire page of the calendar.


    And finally, the day of the festival, the day the actors had been eagerly waiting for, arrived.


    One couldn''t sleep, excited about making new memories with her beloved younger sister.


    Another stayed up all night, preparing the best script for her two beloved older sisters.


    And the last one was meticulously sharpening her already well-honed sword all night long.


    Shiiing, shiiing.


    And finally, the long-awaited day of the festival arrived.


    "Let the ¡ªhunting competition begin!!!"


    The time has come.


    The time for death.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 10: Enticement.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 10 ¡µ Chapter 10. Enticement.


    * * *


    **


    Have you ever touched cold metal that clings to your hand and refuses to let go?


    A sword so sharp, so chillingly black, that just looking at it feels like I''m being cut?


    It feels like I''ll get burned just by touching it.


    Like red beads of blood will well up if I just bring my finger close.


    Sizzle, like that.


    Within that cold, sharp edge, a rage like molten lava lies in wait, its body low, stalking its prey.


    You can try to hide it all you want, but I can see everything.


    My big sister is truly amazing.


    Yes, yes, you''ve worked hard.


    **


    The hunting competition began.


    Anna appeared at the competition grounds, looking incredibly calm and composed, under everyone''s gaze.


    All the abnormal behavior she had shown before. The sharp, neurotic overreactions that worried many, the distracted attention as if lost in thought, the harsh words, seemed to have been completely cured.


    She looked like the ideal princess everyone expected.


    People who saw her cheered.


    The entrance of today''s protagonist.


    I also applauded inwardly.


    Slowly appearing on the stage, Anna gave a polite greeting, saying that she had been struggling a lot lately, but thanks to everyone''s support, she was able to overcome it. Ending her speech with a promise to work hard so that such a thing wouldn''t happen again, Anna descended from the platform amidst the applause of the crowd.


    Normal.


    Yes, the word "normal" suited her appearance more than anything else.


    Many people, relieved to see Anna, were busy praising big sis Anna for her gentle nature.


    And Remi, seeing that¡ª


    "Phew... That''s a relief. That foolish sister."


    "Heehee... Can we all play together now?"


    "...Well, I guess so. But I''ll never forgive her for making Aris cry!"


    Although there seemed to be some unresolved resentment, she looked at Anna with a small smile.


    Despite her anger, Remi was worried about Anna deep down. She had been so worried about her, so it was natural for her to be relieved to see her appear at the grounds looking so healthy.


    Yes, be at ease, Remi.


    Everything ¡ª will be alright.


    In the end, everyone will be smiling.


    Happily.


    After finishing her speech and greeting, Anna walked straight towards us. With a confident stride.


    Although there were still traces of fatigue in her eyes, her clear gaze seemed to show that her mind was sound.


    Such pure eyes.


    The things that had been tormenting my sister had crumbled into dust and blown away.


    Love, affection, morality, ethics, lingering feelings, compassion.


    My sister, freed from the chains that had bound her, looked unburdened.


    Only one emotion remained, unmixed with any other.


    In the end, she was finally devoured.


    When Anna was close enough, I left Remi and ran towards her.


    Embrace, Anna gently hugged me as I dashed towards her. As if she was a completely different person from the one who had pushed me away with a harsh gaze.


    Heehee.


    "Big sis Annaa¡ª!! I missed you!!"


    "...Yes, Aris. You must have had a hard time because of me, right?"


    "Uh-huh, it''s okay! I''m happier to see big sis Anna!"


    Remi came running from behind, crying out, "Are you abandoning me?".


    She shook me back and forth, asking how our relationship was that shallow, how could I do this to her?


    Eeeeeeh¡ª


    St-Stop¡ª sh-shaking¡ª m-me¡ª


    Come on, I would never abandon you, big sis~


    Really! I''ll stay by Aris'' side forever¡ª!


    Forever is a bit... You should get married too, big sis...


    Eeeeeeh!! N-No way!!


    Remi hugged me, who was already embraced by Anna, and finally, the three of us were reunited in one place after a long separation.


    Thump, thump, I could hear Anna and Remi''s heartbeats. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sound, nestled in their warm embrace.


    Feeling a gentle and familiar touch stroking my hair, I smiled and looked up. Anna was carefully touching my hair with a smiling face.


    Anna''s hand is very cold.


    Her eyes are cold too, when she looks at me.


    So, So cold.


    A coldness that feels like it would cling to me if I touched it.


    A touch that wouldn''t come off unless it tore away my flesh, ultimately taking a piece of me.


    That''s what was touching me now.


    Ah, so cold.


    "I''ll treat you better from now on. I''m really sorry for what happened before. I''ve been reflecting on myself."


    "Hmph! Even so, Aris and I won''t let you off easy! Right, Aris!"


    "¡ªI love big sis Anna! I''m fine with it!"


    "Ariiiiis!!!"


    Remi looked like she had been betrayed.


    Tearfully, she screamed that she would treat me even better. With a momentum that seemed like she would give me her liver and gallbladder if I asked.


    I looked at Anna once, then spoke to Remi in a gentle voice.


    "Let''s forgive big sis Annaaaa~ Okay? Big sis Remiii... Just for today, just ''today''!"


    "Uh... Really? Just today? Promise!? It''s a promise!"


    "Yes¡ª!! ''Just for today'' is enough!!"


    When I soothed her like that, Remi quickly calmed down. And then, laughing together, the three of us embraced each other and spent a truly happy time, after so long.


    I didn''t lie.


    Everything will end today, anyway.


    Our parents, watching us from afar, sighed in relief. Seeing their close-knit sisters, who had seemed inseparable, suddenly drift apart must have been heartbreaking for them, who witnessed it up close.


    A fight between a married couple is like cutting water with a knife; a fight between sisters is like cutting a knife with water. (TL Note: A Korean proverb that means the ties between a couple are not so easily severed, but a fight between siblings is.)


    They must have been worrying about how to mediate between us, and seeing us reconcile like this, they''re probably thinking that it was a good decision to hold this competition.


    They''ll firmly believe that everything will go back to the way it was.


    Foolishly.


    Remi, Dad, Mom, the knights, the nobles, the teachers, every~one is a fool.


    Fools.


    Idiots who only see what they want to see.


    How is that any different from being blind?


    A person can break down overnight, but how can a broken person come to their senses overnight? That kind of happy-go-lucky story can''t possibly exist.


    Such things are only possible in fairy tales.


    A princess awakened by a prince''s kiss, a hero defeating a witch with the help of a princess.


    To strongly desire something means that it''s lacking in one''s life. To wish for happiness means that a person isn''t happy right now.


    Such stories are prevalent in the world because such beautiful things don''t happen in reality.


    Then how can my sister, who hasn''t even received a prince''s kiss, be any different?


    Everyone knows it, don''t they? Isn''t there still an unresolved, unsettling feeling in the corner of your hearts? Look, face it, explore it! That doubt.


    But you''ll all turn away from your own hearts in the end.


    Do you feel like there''s no need to worry because the three of us are hugging each other and looking so happy?


    Even if you feel fear, you should have dug deeper.


    That''s laziness, arrogance, and ignorance.


    You will pay the price for your sins.


    A typhoon brings heavy rain and wind, but at its center, the sky is clear and sunny, without a single cloud or breeze. But when the eyes move and you step outside the eye of the typhoon¡ª you''ll be engulfed in the storm again.


    Kwaaah, only after being swept away by the wind and shattered like scattered flower petals will they realize.


    What the problem was.


    "Aris ¡ª would you like to go hunting with me?"


    "Uh... Yes?"


    Anna looked at me and spoke gently.


    "I want to apologize personally... Because I''m sorry."


    "...Huh?"


    "We''ll leave Remi with father and the others... Just the ''two of us''..."


    The eye of the typhoon smiled brightly at me.


    So I smiled back at her too.


    Brightly.


    "¡ªIs that okay? Aris."


    Her eyes, which should have been taking in the vast scenery, were focused solely on me.


    Remi, who was hugging me, the grass beneath my feet, the trees standing tall and beautiful in the distance, the blue sky with fluffy clouds, everything. Nothing but me was reflected in Anna''s eyes.


    In her pitch-black pupils, I was the only one who existed, floating in a black background.


    Ah, as expected, she couldn''t escape from herself after all.


    She could run away from other people''s shadows, from everything that tormented her, but she couldn''t escape from her own shadow. S§×arch* The N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    The shadow follows.


    Even in death.


    Forever.


    "Heeheehee."


    I laughed joyfully.


    The clouds parted, and the sun appeared behind Anna''s head.


    The bright backlight made Anna''s face, as seen from my perspective, look dark and shadowy.


    I can''t see her expression. What kind of expression is she making?


    Well, she must be smiling.


    Just like me.


    She, who had tried to escape from her shadow in fear, ultimately chose to become one with it. She thought that if she became the shadow itself, she wouldn''t have to tremble in fear anymore.


    But there''s a price to pay.


    Because a shadow cannot exist on its own.


    The price will be paid, returning to Anna as a dagger.


    But I love my family, my sister, more than anything ¡ª


    "Okay! Let''s go hunting together!!"


    "¡ªThank you, Aris."


    So I''ll be that price.


    Ah, as always.


    I''m just too kind.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 11: It Devours.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 11 ¡µ Chapter 11. It Devours.


    * * *


    **


    On the morning of the hunting competition.


    Tessa, the librarian, who had proudly declared in front of everyone that she would never lift anything heavier than a book in her life, was sorting books while humming a tune, as usual.


    "The wounded old pine tree~ has lost its words~?"


    ¡ªRip!


    "Eeeek!?"


    Was it because she used too much force, or was the book already too worn out?


    The book she had picked up tore at its binding, splitting into dozens of pieces that scattered on the floor.


    The fallen book lay open, its pages sprawled in disarray, and a notepad, presumably filled with someone''s writing, tumbled out.


    Someone must have slipped it in and forgotten about it.


    The book had felt unusually thick when she picked it up; that must have been the reason.


    Sighing deeply at the thought of having to clean it up, she decided to pick up the scattered pieces of the book first.


    "...Huh? ''The Correlation between the Human Mind and Shamanism''? Who would read such a gloomy book... Ah!"


    Tessa recognized the title of the book by looking at the cover.


    It reminded her of a young princess who had visited the library quite a while ago, researching books related to shamanism.


    Princess Aris Akaia, a princess so famous that there was no one in the kingdom who didn''t know her name.


    Her academic talents, which amazed even renowned scholars, her swordsmanship skills that were acknowledged even by the former knight captain, these things made the word ''genius'' insufficient to describe her. In addition, her fairy-like beauty and cheerful demeanor were just a bonus.


    There was even an absurd rumor that good fortune would come to those who saw her.


    Why would such a person read a book about shamanism?


    At the time, she didn''t ask the reason because it might have been rude, but her curiosity remained.


    "Notes... This round handwriting couldn''t belong to anyone but the princess..."


    Muttering, "It must be her, judging by the large ''Big sis Anna!!'' written here...," Tessa began to read the notes carefully.


    As a scholar herself, she couldn''t resist the urge to delve into her curiosity.


    With the answer right in front of her, how could she resist?


    She chuckled at the sight of Princess Aris drawing underlines and stars under Princess Anna''s name, but as she read on, her face contorted into a strange expression.


    An expression that sensed something was wrong.


    An expression that turned pale.


    An expression of fear.


    ¡ªFlip.


    "....What, is this..."


    [Big sis Anna has been acting strange lately.]


    [The other day, she grabbed my hair and pulled it hard. Her eyes weren''t how she usually looks at me.]


    [I bumped into her hard, but she just left me alone and walked away without saying a word.]


    Tessa found it hard to comprehend the unbelievable things were written in the notepad.


    They were princesses known for their close relationship.


    She had heard that they had grown distant lately, but something like this had happened!?


    A sense of unease grew within her heart, and her eyes scanned the notes even faster.


    [I wonder why big sis Anna has become so strange.]


    [I think the black pearl earrings she''s wearing are strange.]


    [I asked her maid, and she said she received them from a Duke.]


    [His name is Duke Aquitaine.]


    Duke Aquitaine, Tessa thought as she mouthed his name.


    He was a famous man ¡ª for bad rumors.


    People said that every night, strange screams and foul smells emanated from his house.


    Some said they saw a dwarf in a shabby cloak going in and out of his house, while others said a terrifying monster lived inside.


    Her hands were already trembling.


    The trembling intensified, making it impossible to continue reading the notes, so she put them down on the desk and started reading again.


    She couldn''t turn back now.


    She thought.


    What was the title of the book that contained these notes?


    The princess''s sudden change in personality. Duke Aquitaine''s gift. The mysterious rumors surrounding his house.


    Several puzzle pieces started to fit together in her mind.


    [It is said that the eyes of a person afflicted with a mind-altering curse turn pitch black.]


    [Yesterday, I went to big sis''s room. She didn''t come out, but through the gap in her window, I saw eyes that were exactly like that, watching me.]


    [Those eyes were so dark, they scared me.]


    [When I looked back, the eyes were gone.]


    [Those weren''t big sis''s eyes. They shouldn''t be.]


    [I miss the old big sis.]


    "...!!!"


    She recalled the rumors, no, the firsthand accounts circulating within the castle lately.


    About Princess Anna Akaia acting like she was possessed.


    Possessed, bewitched, cursed, ¡ªshamanism


    Tessa muttered those words under her breath.


    Dwarves, witches, shamans.


    She was getting closer to the answer.


    Tessa realized her breathing was becoming ragged.


    Her mouth grew dry, and a sweet scent started to mix with it.


    Did she know?


    That she


    At the exact time Aris had calculated,


    Had read the notes exactly as she had planned.


    That the book had unnaturally scattered.


    That the notes had been left so conveniently visible.


    Everything.


    [I overheard Mom and Dad talking. They said it was stress from her studies, and that Mom shouldn''t worry too much.]


    [I don''t know much about shamanism, so I must be wrong, right? Dad must be right, right?]


    [They''re holding a hunting competition. They said that big sis will go back to her usual self after relieving her stress.]


    [That''s... right, right?]


    [I hope so...]


    [I want to play with big sis again...]


    [I decided to stop reading books.]


    ¡ªTrembling.


    "No... No!!!"


    Her hands shaking uncontrollably, she forced her legs, which wouldn''t obey her commands, to move, and ran outside.


    The thought of organizing the bookshelves had long since vanished.


    Bang, she kicked open the door that she would normally have carefully opened and closed. She was outside, but there were almost no people in sight.


    She shouted.


    "Help me!!! Anyone!! Quickly!!"


    Today was the day the princesses were going to the hunting grounds for a recreational trip.


    The soldiers who usually patrolled the royal palace without a gap, the servants who were always bustling about with errands, were nowhere to be seen today.


    But she kept shouting.


    It was the only thing she could do right now.


    As if her wish had been heard¡ª


    "¡ªWhat''s wrong!!"


    "Ah...!!"


    A voice reached Tessa''s ears, which were filled with her own frantic cries.


    Hearing that voice, Tessa felt a sense of relief.


    It was the voice of an old knight, who was the most trustworthy person she could think of right now.


    The former knight captain.


    And the man who had been Princess Aris'' swordsmanship instructor.


    "I''m Fayne, currently retired and serving as an instructor. May I ask why you''re in such a hurry ¡ª"


    "¡ªIt''s dangerous!!"


    Tessa wanted to speak. But her ragged breathing and spinning head forced her mouth shut.


    Anything.


    Please, I have to speak!!


    You useless mouth!! Move!!


    Please!!!!


    Thump, thump, Tessa pounded her chest with her fist. The air trapped in her lungs was expelled rapidly, and gasping for breath, she finally managed to speak a few words.


    Disjointed words, sounding like the ramblings of a madwoman to anyone who heard.


    But it was enough.


    "At this rate... Princess Aris will die!!"


    "...!!!"


    **


    It was still early, the sun not yet reaching its zenith.


    A knight carrying a woman on his horse rode out of the royal palace.


    **


    Deep in the forest, far beyond the royal family''s hunting grounds.


    I was hunting there.


    Hunting.


    Crrreak, I nocked an arrow and drew back the bowstring.


    In front of me was my prey, trying desperately to escape, bleeding from an arrow wound in its leg.


    It propped itself up with its front legs, dragging its injured leg and slowly crawling at an excruciatingly slow pace, trying to escape.


    It was such a comical sight.


    "Heeheehee."


    Twang, the arrow flew with a light sound.


    A distance of only a few meters, the arrow flew true, hitting its target without fail.


    Into the two hands supporting its body.


    Thud, with a sound like that.


    "¡ªKyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!"


    "Hahahahahahahaha¡ª!!!!"


    Just as I aimed, the arrow pierced the back of her hand.


    The prey stopped crawling and writhed in pain.


    Clutching her hand, pierced through by the arrow, my prey looked at me, tears streaming down her face.


    Why?


    You can still run away.


    Come on, don''t stop.


    Or else, ¡ªyou''ll die?


    I silently took another arrow from my quiver and nocked it. As if sensing something from my actions, the prey tried to escape with a look of terror on her face.


    Drag.


    Drag.


    I guess being smart also means being perceptive? She follows my instructions well.


    Ah, you shouldn''t go that way.


    "B-Big sis...!!"


    "¡ªShut up."


    ¡ªTwang.


    "Don''t, call me big sis."


    I aimed for the annoying ear, slightly to the right of her head, and released the arrow.


    Perhaps because the target was small, or maybe I was just bad at archery, the arrow missed her ear and hit the ground right next to her.


    Seeing that, she screamed, even though she wasn''t hit.


    Haha, there''s no one here to hear your screams.


    Scream all you want.


    "Hiiieek¡ª!!"


    "Now, run. Crawl, scream in agony, curse the world."


    "Ah.... Aaaah...!!"


    I missed, but I succeeded in guiding the prey to its destination, so let''s call it a success.


    By the way, is she getting used to the pain? She couldn''t walk properly, but she managed to get up and walk, staggering, unlike before when she was crawling on the ground.


    If she continued crawling, she wouldn''t reach her destination even by nightfall, which would be nice for me, though.


    "Hahahahaha!"


    Its body covered in dirt, limping on one leg, stumbling along, it looks pitiful.


    Every time I see *IT* like that, the headache that plagues me intensifies.


    Does it hurt?


    You''re asking if it hurts?


    A fire rages inside me. It shows no sign of extinguishing, only consuming my heart even more.


    Does that, hurt?


    I surrender myself to the flames.


    ¡ªThud.


    "...Aaack!!"


    "Me too¡­ It hurts too... I hurts!!" sea??h th§× ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    I run towards the now-detestable object of my hatred.


    I trip its legs and knock it down. Screaming loud enough to make the forest ring out, it collapses helplessly.


    It¡¯s fear-filled eyes look at me.


    I won''t go easy on you.


    I slowly lifted my foot and placed it on its thigh.


    Where the long, red arrow was still deeply embedded.


    "..Aaah... N-No... I don''t like this... Nooo..."


    "...Ha."


    Does it know what I''m about to do? It shakes its head frantically, pleading with me relentlessly.


    You don''t like it?


    I don''t like you either.


    ¡ªCrush!!


    I slowly put my weight on my foot. I felt her body trembling madly beneath my foot, every time my foot pressed deep into her thigh, nudging the arrow.


    Infuriated by it struggling to escape from under my leg, I pressed down even harder.


    "Ah... Aaaah... ¡ªAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!"


    "....Haha.... Haha... HAHAHAHA!!"


    I see a cliff in the distance.


    I tilted the arrow in that direction, and her screams flowed out like a song. After tilting it a few times, as if understanding my intention, it started crawling slowly in the direction I was tilting the arrow.


    The destination is, there.


    What kind of face will it make when it reaches the cliff?


    In a place where there''s nowhere else to run, where no one will come to her rescue.


    Will you feel the same despair as I do?


    In the fairy tale book that Remi loves, the monster is eventually pushed off a cliff and killed by the protagonist, Alice. (TL Note: Another reference to Alice in Wonderland, more specifically Alice¡¯s Adventures Under Ground. The ¡°monster¡± she¡¯s referring to is the Jabberwocky.)


    What will happen to you?


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 12: Princess Maker.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 12 ¡µ Episode 12. Princess Maker.


    * * *


    **


    Amidst everyone''s cheers, the competition began, and I ran towards Anna, who was waiting for me on horseback.


    What about Remi, you ask?


    Remi? Sorry, I forgot about her.


    "¡ªAriiiiiiiiis!!!"


    "Buh~Bye~!"


    Well, she''ll probably be with our parents, cuddling with them. She might sulk, but I hope big sis Anna can soothe her later.


    Next to the horse Anna was riding, there was a relatively smaller horse, and I realized at a glance that it was prepared for me.


    "Aris, can you ride by yourself?"


    "Yes!"


    I had countless memories of riding horses, so I could easily handle a docile and small horse like this.


    Good boy, good boy.


    Neigh!


    If you don''t listen, I''ll neuter you?


    !!?


    I held the reins of the horse that acknowledged me as its master and looked at Anna, who was setting off to hunt.


    Perhaps sensing my gaze, she turned to me and smiled brightly.


    I smiled back, and Anna blushed, turning her head away, and awkwardly looked at her open palm as if embarrassed.


    She looked just like an older sister who adored her younger sister. Anyone who saw her would think she was a girl who was shy and excited about the upcoming "date" with her younger sister.


    Excited?


    What could my dear sister be so excited about?


    Going on a trip alone with me?


    Being able to bag a game soon?


    Or maybe...


    ¡ªThe fact that she can kill me?


    "Let''s go. Follow me carefully."


    "Okay! You be careful too, big sis!"


    "Okay, okay."


    How will she kill me?


    To be honest, it''s surprisingly easy for her to kill me.


    She trusts people too easily, which causes problems. She''s been tricked by maids who promised to show her something interesting and ended up getting dressed up like a doll a total of twenty times. A kind little princess who would grant any request, no matter how unreasonable.


    That''s the evaluation of the current third princess, ''Aris Akaia''.


    And Anna must know this better than anyone.


    Poisoning.


    All she needs to do is offer me a cup of tea laced with a deadly poison, and that would be enough to kill me. Even if it''s a clumsy poisoning using a poison with a strange taste and smell, the little lady named Aris Akaia wouldn''t suspect a thing and drink it if Anna offered it to her.


    She could even mock her sister as she vomits blood from every orifice, holding the antidote in front of her and making her beg for it.


    Murder.


    Just one word, "Trust me," and even if a knife is held to her throat, the foolish little sister would obediently close her eyes. The youngest princess, unwilling to betray her older sister''s trust, would believe her words and wait until the very moment the knife severs her neck.


    Thud, perhaps even after her head falls, the naive little princess would still whisper her sister''s name?


    Honestly, I didn''t care what she did. I was always ready to entertain her obsession. My love is an open door. Love is an open door.


    But she didn''t choose that path.


    She deliberately refused the easy way and chose the hard way.


    She even went so far as to wear a mask and try to take me somewhere.


    Who could refuse such growth, such effort?


    Anna Akaia is ordinary.


    But at the same time, she was born with a talent that no genius possesses.


    That''s effort.


    Look at her eyes. Look at her touch.


    The warm hand extended towards me, the worried gaze, but within them lurks a monster darker than the abyss.


    She must be itching to tear my throat out right this instant. She must want to hang my corpse in the marketplace, spit on it, trample it, defile it, and laugh in front of it.


    But she''s holding back that urge, enduring.


    I can tell. How much effort she''s putting in right now.


    Isn''t it admirable?


    That''s why I thought she was truly worthy of being a ruler.


    Even though her current efforts are fueled by murderous intent and hatred towards me, the reason or motivation can easily change.


    If the direction of her efforts shifts to devotion to her people, she will truly become a great ruler, admired by all.


    And the catalyst for that change will be my death.


    By the time I turned three, I already noticed that she would live steeped in inferiority for the rest of her life.


    A destiny that wouldn''t change, no matter how hard I tried.


    So I thought¡ª of the best scenario.


    I would break the shackles of her inferiority complex here. No, not break them, but replace them with even heavier shackles.


    My dying words will become shackles for her, shaken by guilt, and I will whisper, just like I always told her.


    ¡ªBig sis, please be a good queen.


    And she will obediently accept those shackles. The birth of the kind, wise, and benevolent queen she longed to be.


    Only then will I truly exist forever in her heart.


    That''s all I wish for.


    **


    An ordinary hunt continues.


    For her, it must be nothing more than an unpleasant play, filled with irritation.


    Me?


    I''m always having fun.


    I secretly follow her gaze. Until she leads me to a secluded spot, I have to keep playing this comical act. That''s why, for now, Anna was acting normal, scanning her surroundings for game.


    Ah, that''s the direction where the rabbit is.


    She''ll find it soon.


    A faint wrinkle appears between Anna''s brows. A sign that she''s staring intently at something, sensing something amiss.


    In the snow-covered field, the rabbit, its fur camouflaged with the white snow, will soon be exposed to my sister.


    Anna will realize this and immediately draw her bow to catch the rabbit.


    That''s why¡ª


    ¡ªWhiiiz!!


    "I got it¡ª!!"


    "......!!"


    I threw my knife at the rabbit Anna had just found.


    I knew it was right after she spotted the rabbit because her mouth was slightly open.


    The plump rabbit, unaware of the knife flying towards it at high speed, readily offered up its life.


    Thud, red blood splattered on the white snow.


    I exclaimed cheerfully.


    "Heehee, I got it!! Big sis Anna!! I caught it¡ª!!"


    "......Ah, yes. You did. Aris caught it. Again. Again."


    Leaving Anna behind, I ran towards the fallen rabbit''s carcass.


    How is it, big sis?


    Isn''t hunting fun?


    As if answering my inner question, I heard Anna''s laughter behind me.


    Yes, it seems big sis is enjoying it too. I''m so happy. S§×arch* The N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    It was a good idea to come here, right?


    I proudly raised the white rabbit with the knife embedded in it as if showing it off..


    I felt a burning gaze from behind, hot enough to scorch my skin. I turned around, but there was only my kind sister, congratulating me on catching the rabbit.


    Hahahahaha.


    After laughing while looking at me for a while, Anna looked at me and spoke.


    So, So naturally.


    As if it was all for me.


    "Aris... It seems like we''ve caught all the game here¡ª"


    "...Yes?"


    "¡ªShall we go to a place I know well?"


    I looked up at the sky. It was still a long time before the sun would reach its peak.


    Is it about time?


    The librarian must have started organizing the books by now.


    Tessa is lazy, but she''s not slow-witted.


    She would take the book out of the return box to put it back on the shelf, as always, and the book I had prepared would slip from her hand and scatter on the floor.


    It wouldn''t matter if she dismissed the notes as childish ramblings, but knowing her, I''m sure that won''t happen.


    Good, perfect.


    I answered.


    "Okay! Let''s go!"


    Tap, I mounted my horse again and followed Anna. Soon, we entered a dense forest where the trees grew thicker and darker.


    The smile on Anna''s lips widened, stretching into a long, thin line.


    Tessa would definitely run to where the King and Queen were. And she would surely risk her own neck to inform them of my danger.


    Remi, who would ''happen to be'' there, would hear that I might be in danger and rush to find me, without a second thought.


    A crudely written stage setting, conceived the day before. A script that could be considered an ad-lib.


    Well, it doesn''t matter if she doesn''t come¡ª


    But the more audience members, the better, so I hope she comes.


    Ah, I miss big sis Remi.


    I wish she could see me die.


    **


    I see an iron fence. A sign that this is the royal family''s hunting grounds. Those who entered without permission had to be prepared to face death.


    It was also a sign that no one''s safety could be guaranteed beyond this point.


    "B-Big sis...?"


    "It''s alright, Aris."


    Anna easily cut through the fence and stepped into the deep forest.


    I stood outside dumbfounded, hesitantly, acting like a scared child who was afraid to follow and get scolded.


    Haa, a small sigh escaped Anna''s lips. Hearing that, I lifted my head, which I had lowered.


    Because Aris Akaia hates upsetting others.


    If Anna sighs as if annoyed, I have no choice but to go, right?


    Heeheehee.


    ''There are monsters in the forest, so don''t go in there carelessly.''


    A line from the fairy tale book that Remi used to read to me every night. It''s what the protagonist, Alice''s parents, say to warn Alice when she tries to enter the forest.


    That''s right, Alice. The forest is dangerous.


    Because there are scary monsters living inside.


    Very, very fierce monsters that eat people.


    In the end, Alice in the story ignored her parents'' warning and entered the forest, only to encounter the monster.


    "I... I''d like it if Aris followed me... Is that okay?"


    "...!! Ah, okay!"


    A sweet voice tempts me.


    With a determined expression, I step past the fence. Swish, in my haste, the sharp edge of the cut fence grazed my skin, and small drops of blood welled up.


    Drip.


    Drip.


    Blood drips down.


    Ignoring the wound, I quickly run to Anna''s side.


    Anna had seen the whole thing, but she didn''t seem to notice that I was hurt.


    Or maybe she saw the blood but no longer cared?


    Well.


    It doesn''t matter either way.


    Choose whichever reason you prefer.


    We tied our horses to the fence and walked into the dark forest, where not a single ray of light penetrated.


    Deeper.


    Even deeper.


    A journey with no destination in sight. Only the sound of our footsteps echoed in the forest.


    If I were a child who came here expecting to find a lot of game, it would be about time I started to feel disappointed and wanted to go back.


    Suddenly, Anna let out a gasp.


    "...Ah!!"


    "....?"


    As if she had found something, she pointed her finger behind me.


    I knew there was nothing there except dense bushes and trees, but I deliberately turned my head.


    There were no rabbits, deer, or even insects or birds.


    "Hmm....~?"


    "......"


    A place where only tall grass and trees blocking the sun existed, like a primeval rainforest.


    But I, pretending to not notice Anna''s lie, diligently stared in the direction she pointed.


    I furrowed my brows, closed one eye, then closed both eyes.


    I couldn''t find anything, but did big sis find something?


    Crrreak, I heard the sound of the bowstring being drawn from behind me.


    Wow, I can''t see anything at all.


    But big sis, you''ve managed to find something after all.


    Amazing.


    In just a few seconds, the bowstring was drawn and released.


    That time was very short, but the time it took for the arrow to reach its prey was even shorter.


    Thwang, the first thing I felt was the vibration of the air brushing past my body. I knew Anna had shot an arrow.


    A soft sound followed. Thud, it seemed the arrow had deeply embedded itself in its target.


    And then, a warm sensation rising from my calf.


    Anna''s affection towards me.


    The hunt has begun.


    **


    Screams and laughter echo through the forest.


    The prey has been decided.


    The monster gives chase.


    The girl wanders in search of them.


    **


    This is what happened up until Aris was hit by an arrow and started crawling.


    What happens after that?


    Didn''t it already appear in the previous chapter?


    * * *

 Chapter 13: Departure.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 13 ¡µ Chapter 13. Departure.


    * * *


    **


    Remi was in a very bad mood.


    As someone whose answer to the question ''Who do you love more, Mom or Dad?'' would always be Aris, she was extremely unhappy that Aris had gone on a "date" with Anna, just the two of them. Moreover, hadn''t Anna hurt Aris before?


    "Aris went to sister Anna again," Remi muttered.


    It was always she who played with Aris and took care of her, so the fact that Aris seemed to favor Anna over her was simply frustrating.


    Of course, it was all part of Aris''s calculated actions, but unaware of the reason, Remi was always dissatisfied with the situation.


    To the point where even Remi, whose head was practically a field of flowers, harbored a small grudge.


    Aris was so kind that she could be mistaken for a reincarnated angel. But that so-called older sister didn''t even try to cherish such an angel, instead pushing her away and walking past without a single apology.


    For the siscon older sister who always mumbled about wanting to keep her younger sister in her pocket, the current situation, where she was hunting alone, must have been unbearable.


    "¡ªBut Aris said just for today..."


    Thwang, she shot an arrow at the innocent ground. Aimlessly, at the bare earth.


    Naturally, she caught no game, and the arrow simply flew and stuck itself in the snow-covered ground.


    Sighing, the princess resumed her walk.


    The innocent arrows would be retrieved by the servants later. Poor things.


    This princess... She has no intention of hunting at all...!!


    The only reason she was enduring and holding back from running to Aris, hugging her, and nuzzling her face against hers was because her little sister had said "just for today." Because she had asked her to wait.


    So.


    Remi Akaia believed.


    That just like Aris had said, everything would return to normal after today.


    That her older sister, who had finally lost her mind from studying and started acting recklessly, would return to being a model student devoted to her studies.


    That Aris, who was clearly hurting both physically and mentally, but kept watching over her older sister''s unstable state without a care for her own well-being, would be snuggled tightly in her arms again.


    That everyone would return to those happy days.


    She firmly believed that.


    If Aris saw Remi now, this is what she would think.


    ¡®That''s why you''re arrogant, big sis.¡¯


    Death is uncertain, waiting for you anytime, anywhere.


    So, be prepared for it, wherever you are.


    Just because today is happy, doesn''t mean tomorrow will be too.


    Remi had forgotten that.


    Commotion started brewing from afar. An intruder disrupting the festivities on such a grand day.


    Curious about what was going on, Remi, with nothing else to do, slowly walked towards the center of the commotion.


    "...??!!"


    "...Grandpa Fayne...?"


    Remi recognized Aris'' swordsmanship teacher at a glance. She also saw that he was breathlessly explaining something to her father, something that was unusual for the kind and even-tempered man.


    Beside him was a woman, mounted on a horse that was snorting and breathing heavily, emitting white steam. The woman was handing something to a servant, her body trembling.


    There must have been an urgent report for father, Remi thought.


    Well, it''s obvious. Causing a scene at an event hosted by the king just to deliver a report to a mere noble? There''s no way such a bold person existed. Even a high-ranking person had decorum and boundaries to respect.


    In the end, the recipient of the report could only be the King and Queen.


    Although Remi considered it none of her business, she saw the King and Queen''s expressions growing serious and grim from afar, so she quickened her pace towards them.


    What''s going on?


    Approaching within earshot, she finally heard the word she was most confident in having uttered more than anyone else.


    ''Aris''.


    A name. A word used to distinguish someone from others. Something that belonged to oneself, but was more often used by others.


    Mumble, mumble, the incomprehensible words gradually became clear, conveying their meaning. And within those words, Remi noticed that the frequency with which Aris''s name was being mentioned was alarming.


    The moment she realized that, Remi started running faster than she had ever run before.


    Finally close enough to hear them clearly, Remi caught one clear statement from Fayne''s explanation.


    A sentence that was both incomprehensible and unacceptable to her, with the context completely missing.


    "¡ªPrincess Anna might kill Princess Aris!"


    ".....!!"


    But Remi didn''t need any more words.


    That one sentence was enough.


    She immediately turned around, found an unattended horse, and mounted it.


    The knights, as if sensing something from her actions, tried to stop Remi, but it was no use. There was no one here who could stop this princess, whose eyes were now ablaze.


    That person was far away, in danger.


    Giddy-up.


    Faster, faster.


    A little more¡­


    Faster....!!


    Cutting through the wind, Remi Akaia rode her horse for her precious little sister.


    **


    ''What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three legs in the evening?''


    This is the riddle posed by the Sphinx in the Greek and Roman myth of Oedipus.


    Why a Sphinx, an Egyptian architectural structure, appears in a Greek myth and asks a riddle is honestly a bigger mystery, but they are actually different.


    There''s a monster named Sphinx in Greek and Roman mythology too.


    Some claim they are the same, but I don''t need to care about that.


    It''s none of my business.


    Shall I tell you the answer? The answer to the question above is ''a human''. It''s been told so many times that even a five-year-old child passing by knows the answer.


    A child crawls on all fours, an adult walks on two legs, and an old person walks with three legs, with a cane.


    Well, what I''m trying to say is...


    ¡ªCrunch!


    "KyAAAAAAAAH¡ª!!! It hurts, it hurts, it hUUUUURts!!!!"


    "haHAHaHAhAHahaHA!!!"


    Wah wah, I''m baby Aris.


    I''m a baby. I''m crawling on all fours.


    Having abandoned human dignity, I was rolling around on the ground, serving as Anna''s tool for pleasure.


    Anna''s feet, clad in hunting boots, mercilessly trampled on the back of my hand.


    The rough, iron-studded soles were more than enough to inflict pain.


    The back of my hand, which had been chosen for her attention, was where the arrow had pierced. I didn''t know if she was aiming for it or not, but it was clear that Anna stomped on that spot with all her might, where the arrow was still embedded.


    Crack, crunch, snap. I heard sounds that shouldn''t be coming from my hand. S§×ar?h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    It felt like an electric current started from my hand, traveled up my bones, and fried my brain.


    You''ve been holding back a lot... Big sis...


    You wanted to catch the rabbit first...


    I didn''t know... I''m sorry... Actually, I knew... I''m really sorry...


    "B-Big sis... Please... Please, come back¡ª AaAaaaAAACk!?"


    "I told you to shut up¡ª!!!"


    The kicks continued. I crawled on the ground, desperately trying to escape the torrent of violence.


    Hmph.


    My clothes were already soaked in blood and mud. Ptooey, I spat out a blood clot that had hardened and stuck to my throat.


    Just like she wanted, I screamed and ran away pathetically, filled with fear, looking desperate and wretched.


    Anna chased after me, laughing gleefully.


    The trees that had covered the sky started to disappear.


    The sound of rushing water could be heard from afar.


    Instead of dirt, I started to feel the hard texture of rocks in my hand.


    I already knew she was leading me somewhere. The direction of the arrows, the trajectory of the violence, it was all pushing me in a specific direction.


    Yes, Anna was doing her best to drive me to despair even in this extreme situation.


    As I thought, Anna is amazing.


    But my moment of contemplation was short-lived, and the chase, which I had wished would last forever, finally came to an end.


    Thud, I saw a small pebble knocked out from beneath my hand as I moved. The pebble was then swept away by the current, vanishing without a trace.


    A steep cliff, seemingly tens of meters high. Below it, a raging torrent, evident from the roaring sound of water even from this distance.


    The vastness of the natural landscape seemed to tell me that there was no path forward.


    Running and running, all that awaited at the end of this long escape was despair.


    Ah, so this is what you wanted to show me.


    Big sis, you wanted me to understand your pain.


    The end I, we, had reached ¡ª was a cliff with no way forward.


    **


    I let out a moan filled with admiration.


    "Ah.... AaAaaAh...!!"


    "AHAhaHAhaHAHaHa!! Did you think YOU could escape!? HuH!?"


    I turned around. In the shadows, Anna was slowly walking out, drawing two swords.


    Thump, thump, her approaching footsteps were terrifying.


    I must have a despairing expression on my face right now.


    Because I''m probably going to die soon.


    ¡ªWhoosh.


    Stopping about ten meters away, Anna threw the sword she was holding in one hand at me. I closed my eyes.


    But the sword didn''t fly towards me.


    Thunk, the thrown sword landed precisely between my legs.


    As if it wasn''t an attack intended to kill me, she slowly grasped the other sword with both hands and took her stance.


    ...Why?


    You can just kill me now...


    Everything is coming to an end, what are you trying to do?


    I muttered to myself.


    One leg forward, the other leg back.


    The sharp tip of the sword pointed at me.


    It looked like she was about to start a swordsmanship spar¡ª


    "My head hurts. Even now, it''s throbbing like it''s about to explode."


    "...Big¡­sis...?"


    The same pitch-black eyes as always, staring at me as if she wanted to tear me apart.


    Within those eyes, big sis Anna was there.


    From beginning to end, even in moments when she wanted to look away, she didn''t avoid or run away, she faced everything within herself.


    This wasn''t just the influence of the emotions or curses I had planted. It couldn''t be compared to something so trivial.


    It was undeniably Anna Akaia''s true feelings.


    "Will this pain disappear if I kill you?"


    "I don''t... want to... I don''t want this... Big sis..."


    I covered my eyes with the arm that was still somewhat intact.


    Drip, drip. Tears streamed down like rain.


    Even though my arm covered my eyes and my clothes tried to absorb my tears¡ª the endless tears soaked through my sleeves, soaked through my pants, and finally soaked the ground.


    I''m not crying because I''m sad.


    I''m crying because I''m happy.


    "Pick up your sword, Aris Akaia."


    "I don''t want to... fight with you big sis¡­¡ªWAAaaAAaaAAaaah!!!"


    To Anna, I was a curse that always followed her.


    She was saying with her eyes.


    Even though she had tried to run away once, in the end, she had no choice but to fight back.


    Both you and I, it''s our destiny.


    That''s why she, the noble one, is trying to lift the curse that has been placed upon her here and now.


    "¡ªOr else, I''ll kill Remi."


    "Ah..... Aaaah...!!"


    The final trial has begun.


    I picked up the sword.


    **


    I secretly wanted to defeat Aris.


    I felt disgusted with myself because she was my younger sister.


    But even knowing that I would lose, knowing that it was a futile struggle, I wanted to do it...


    If I just surrendered myself to my impulses, my heart would be at ease.


    Curse me. Ridicule me. You should, you deserve it.


    Even I know it''s too late to turn back...!


    But... this last step...


    I will take it myself.


    **


    Tomorrow.


    The next day, maybe even the day after that.


    This chapter will conclude.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 14: Fall.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 14 ¡µ Chapter 14. Fall.


    * * *


    **


    "...I... don''t want to fight....!!"


    "Stop whining."


    I raised my sword with one hand.


    Trembling, trembling, I could feel my body shaking uncontrollably, supported by only one leg.


    Just standing was already pushing my body to its limit. There was no way I could dodge or move from here.


    Despite my pathetic appearance, the look in Anna''s eyes as she stared at me was more serious than ever.


    The look of facing a true enemy.


    "¡ªHere I come."


    "....!!!"


    How long had we been sizing each other up, staring at each other.


    A simple word, laced with fighting spirit, escaped Anna''s lips. An attack timed to coincide with the blink of my eyes. In the brief moment I closed and opened my eyes, she was already in front of me.


    Swish, Anna thrust her sword at me.


    The tip of her blade was aimed at my heart.


    ¡ªClang!


    "Hyaa?AAAAAH!!?"


    With a loud clash of metal, her sword was deflected.


    I hadn''t aimed for Anna, but for the trajectory of her sword. I swung my sword and barely managed to deflect it.


    However, perhaps due to the recoil of the swift movement, I felt a jolt of pain shoot through my left arm, which had been reduced to a mangled mess.


    The tingling sensation spread throughout my body.


    And it caused a brief moment of hesitation.


    ".....!"


    Anna saw my opening and, without hesitation, spun her body and kicked me. I barely managed to block it, using the flat of my sword as a shield.


    No mercy at all...


    "What''s wrong!? Where''s that brilliant genius little sister!?"


    "....Gah... Aaagh..."


    I was thrown back and collapsed again, but I staggered back to my feet, using my sword as a cane. I had to get up quickly.


    Because Anna was swinging her sword towards me.


    How fierce.


    ¡ªClang, clang!


    Relentless attacks continued, one after another. From above, from the side, sometimes both. Anna''s sword, imbued with her powerful force, struck down.


    The only thing I could do, unable to move quickly or put strength into both hands, was to deflect the blows.


    Several exchanges followed.


    Anna attacked relentlessly, disregarding defense.


    I focused solely on defense, with no thought for attacking.


    My actions were limited to barely dodging or blocking her attacks, I hadn''t initiated a single attack.


    Well, I had no intention of hurting her in this fight.


    "You......!!!"


    "Ah... Haa... Haaa... Haa..."


    As if realizing my intentions, the coldness in Anna''s eyes as she looked at me was chilling.


    Creak, an ominous sound emanated from the hilt of her sword as she gripped it tightly, feeling insulted.


    That''s not it.


    This, is all out of respect for you.


    "Aris.... Aris....!! You always, push me, this far¡ª!!"


    "Heehee... You finally, haa, you called, my name...?"


    "....!!"


    Even in this situation, the little sister who loves and cherishes her sister doesn''t want to point her sword at her.


    And I have no intention of hurting even a hair on her head.


    Competition, fighting, war.


    All of those things are only valid under the premise that the participants are on the same playing field.


    If one person wins, the other loses.


    If one side is victorious, the other side is defeated.


    The common saying, ¡®Life is a zero-sum game.¡¯


    Profit can only be gained at the expense of another participant.


    This is not like that.


    "¡ªUwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!"


    "...Heehee..."


    Anna charged at me with a scream.


    Clang, sparks flew between us. Our swords clashed, and Anna started pressing down on me.


    One hand versus two hands. Naturally, my knees, lacking strength, buckled.


    Finally, forced to kneel, I met Anna''s intense glare.


    What we''re doing is different from that kind of desperate struggle, stained with blood.


    Her victory condition is to kill me.


    My victory condition is to break the cursed earring on her ear and restore her mind to its original state, even if only temporarily.


    Of course, even if I don''t remove it, the King and Queen, after seeing the notes in the book, will remove it themselves, but let''s call it a service.


    A courtesy to my older sister, who tried to face the darkness within herself until the very end.


    At the end of this endless sword dance, we will each leave with what we desired.


    Therefore, this is not a fight, but a play that we perform together.


    A tragedy with a happy ending.


    "....Heehee."


    I''ve always been like this.


    I''ve lived like this, and I''ll die like this.


    This is my way of life.


    ¡ªAnd I''ve never lost before.


    Click, I hooked my sword into a small groove on Anna''s sword.


    A gap created from repeatedly parrying, blocking, and deflecting at the same spot.


    I didn''t miss it.


    "...!!?"


    "Big sis Anna¡ª"


    I twisted my sword.


    Crack, crack, cracks spread across her sword like breaking ice.


    The cracks grew, and finally, with a clean snap, Anna''s sword broke in half.


    Break in half and die!


    ¡ªClang!


    ".....You..."


    "¡ªPlease!!"


    I abandoned my admirable sword and threw myself at her. I pushed my injured leg, pierced by the arrow and trampled upon, one last time.


    Run to her.


    To where Anna stood, her head bowed, silently clutching the broken sword.


    One step, another step, I closed the distance between us. Finally, within reach, I mustered my last ounce of strength and embraced her.


    Thud.


    And at that moment, both of our victory was secured.


    Thud.


    Big sis Anna''s soft embrace was as warm as ever. I wanted to stay in her arms forever, but I reached out for her earring.


    Once I remove this, she''ll return to her former self. My strong sister will soon come to her senses.


    I was worried about what would happen after I died, but seeing how splendidly my sister has grown, I think I was worrying for nothing. To say more would be nagging.


    All the sins will be pinned on our poor Duke. He''s reaping what he sowed.


    Thud.


    I felt the cold touch of the pearl. I also saw a black aura emanating from it, wrapping around my arm. Trying to consume me? Don''t even dream about it, you little punk.


    Inducing anxiety, amplifying emotions, causing minor hallucinations and auditory illusions? It''s trying to create a suspension bridge effect. You should go on a date to watch a horror movie together instead of wasting time on useless things like this. (TL Note: Suspension Bridge effect is a psychological phenomenon where people tend to misattribute their physiological arousal for romantic attraction.)


    Well, this is child''s play. There''s no way I''d be swayed by this level of shamanism.


    Thud.


    Rustle, rustle, I saw someone pushing through the trees in the distance.


    Ah, is that Remi?


    I almost didn''t recognize her at first, covered in grass and leaves. Judging by her appearance, she must have rushed here in a hurry. By the way, you really found your way here, huh?


    It must have been hard to get here.


    Thud.


    Now, shall we remove it?


    I don''t have much time left. I might even lose the strength to pull out the earring.


    I thought about just yanking it off, but I can''t scar my dear Anna''s beautiful face, so I decided to just gently remove it.


    Because my sister is precious.


    Now, then.


    I''ll remove it on the count of three.


    Then... Three!


    ".........Ah...?"


    You''re saying it''s cheating to count to three right away? Bleh, I never said anything like that. It would be unsightly for an adult to argue, but for a little kid like me, it''s somewhat acceptable.


    Haha, by the way, I''ve never seen you make such a dumbfounded face! Big sis Anna, you could make faces like that too?


    Are you that surprised?


    You~ fool.


    "Ah.... Aaaaaah..... AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH..!!!!"


    "......."


    .....Now, everyone, congratulations.


    Remi, you made it just in time. Honestly, I wasn''t sure if you''d be able to make it, but as expected, Remi, you''re amazing.


    From now on, you should focus a little more on training instead of just lazing around. If you had properly utilized what you learned, maybe you would have gotten here before I died?


    Playing is good, but study a little too.


    Well, if Remi was that kind of sister, I would have made a different plan.


    Big sis Anna, congratulations to you too. You won in the end. You took my life.


    Go ahead and boast. You exceeded my expectations, didn''t you?


    I can''t believe you actually faced the inferiority complex sleeping within you. Although the ending didn''t change, I applaud your courage.


    She... She might become an even greater ruler than the one I had in mind. No, she will.


    I slowly stepped back.


    Honestly, there were many things I wanted to say to them, but it seems unnecessary. And impossible.


    Cough, blood spilled from my mouth. About a paper cup''s worth. My head drooped involuntarily. Thanks to that, I could see my current state without much effort.


    It seems I was stabbed quite messily, the front of my clothes was completely stained red.


    Was I stabbed four, or maybe five times? To top it all off, a half-broken sword was embedded in my stomach.


    I''m still conscious, but I''m definitely going to die.


    It''s an injury that''s impossible to treat with the current level of medical technology.


    Well, in the modern era, there are cases where people who threw themselves on grenades to protect their comrades and took the full brunt of the explosion and survived, but that''s only because of the insanely advanced medical technology.


    Even if the best doctors in the kingdom rushed here now, all they could do is alleviate my pain.


    In the distance, I saw Remi screaming and running towards me. Desperately trying to reach me faster. Sorry, I can''t hear you.


    Anna just stared at me blankly. Her wide eyes showed she was in shock.


    I was truly loved, wasn''t I?


    I wanted to express my gratitude. To say that I was so happy because of them. For making every day a joy.


    There was also something I wanted to tell Anna. That the quality of "kindness" I mentioned, that''s something only Anna possesses.


    I forgot to tell Remi where I hid the snacks. Well, I''m sure she''ll find them and eat them herself, but you never know, right?


    But I couldn''t speak. I couldn''t even open my mouth.


    "......"


    I could only smile at them.


    Brightly.


    A hand reached out. A scream pierced the air. Remi''s face, running towards me, grows distant again.


    I heard the sound of swirling wind and raging currents.


    Ah, am I falling?


    Well, it''s a fitting end for me.


    Splash.


    With a strong impact, I lost consciousness.


    **


    The end.


    Memory Loss(Self-Proclaimed) Tree.


    Let''s begin.


    * * * sea??h th§× N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

 Chapter 15: Aftermath.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 15 ¡µ Chapter 15. Aftermath.


    * * *


    **


    One cold winter day, when thin ice had formed.


    A woman walking along the riverbank caught a strange scent and the faint sound of breathing.


    A precarious sound, like a candle flame about to flicker out.


    "......."


    The woman paused for a moment, contemplating, then turned her steps toward the source of the sound.


    There, she found a child.


    It was a truly horrific sight, one that couldn''t be described as anything but terrible, even with euphemisms.


    Hoo, a short sigh escaped her lips, forming a puff of air in the cold. Without grimacing, she carefully examined the child''s appearance.


    Bruises and lacerations, as if from being struck by something sharp, covered its entire body, including its face, and its stomach was like a doll with its stuffing bursting out.


    "You are going to die soon."


    "......."


    Spilled water cannot be retrieved. The wounds were severe, and the child had already lost too much blood. Anyone could see that the child was teetering on the brink of death.


    If the intention was simply to kill, there was no need to go this far. These wounds were inflicted to torment and toy with the child, she concluded inwardly.


    The arrow wound on its calf.


    One hand reduced to shreds.


    Multiple stab wounds that avoided vital points.


    Seeing that the child bore no signs of resistance despite all this, the woman surmised that the perpetrator of this heinous act must have been someone precious to the child.


    ¡®Were you betrayed too?¡¯ the woman asked softly.


    Naturally, there was no answer.


    "...The outside world... hasn''t changed at all, has it?"


    ".......?.."


    "Always so cruel and brutal to everyone..."


    And so she placed her hand on the child''s neck.


    A slender neck, so fragile it felt like it would snap with the slightest pressure.


    Was it out of mercy? But she couldn''t bring herself to exert any more force.


    The woman''s hand trembled pitifully.


    "Haha... Compassion, such a feeling is a luxury for me..."


    "....."


    "Why, am I feeling this way?"


    She closed her eyes briefly, then opened them again, her gaze filled with determination. There had been a moment of hesitation, but now a life would be lost by her hand.


    The grip on the child''s neck tightened.


    Slowly.


    Little by little.


    ".....Sis?"


    "...What?"


    Just as the flickering candle flame was about to be extinguished.


    The child''s mouth opened slightly.


    The woman, watching, drew back her hand and looked at the child with surprise.


    The child coughed up blood, and with it, a single word.


    "¡ªBig.sis.."


    "....!!"


    A moment later, no one remained there.


    Only traces of blood served as evidence that a child had drifted ashore here, but even those traces slowly faded away with the flow of water.


    No one knew what would become of the child, a child no doctor could save.


    **


    "I ended up... bringing you back..."


    "I should have killed you..."


    "From the moment you came here... and saw me.... I have no choice but to kill you...!"


    "I don''t want to¡­ be betrayed again....!!"


    **


    A bloody storm swept through the royal palace.


    On that day, which should have been remembered as a joyful festival, everything collapsed.


    The beloved princess, Aris Akaia, had disappeared.


    No one knew the details.


    Why she had crossed the fence and entered the forest.


    What had led to her fall from the cliff.


    Why the first princess, returning supported by the guards, was covered in blood.


    Why the second princess was frantically swinging her sword, trying to kill her older sister.


    What urgent message the former knight captain and the librarian had brought.


    Nothing was revealed. The knights and servants who held clues to the incident all kept their mouths shut.


    A kind of taboo.


    A forbidden fruit.


    But perhaps because of that, it seemed all the more alluring? There were still those who tried to uncover the truth.


    And all of them were buried deep underground, never reaching the truth.


    Without exception.


    A few weeks after the incident, the official investigation results were announced.


    The culprit was revealed to be Duke Bate Aquitaine. Once considered a promising talent, he was now a criminal steeped in greed, who had committed a sin too heinous to mention.


    After the incident, the Duke was caught trying to flee the kingdom with his wealth.


    He vehemently denied committing such a crime, but his words lost all credibility the moment he was caught trying to escape.


    There was no trial.


    Everyone involved in the incident was arrested.


    The maid who switched the earrings for the Duke''s down payment. The shaman who imbued the pearls with the curse. The merchant who regularly supplied him with the materials. The carpenter who built the secret room.


    After that, all the torture experts in the kingdom were mobilized.


    Their first words from their mouths were pleas for mercy, and soon after, they begged to be killed instead.


    But there was no stopping.


    The experts silently did their job, driven by their own motives.


    Gradually, they began to utter bizarre words that couldn''t form sentences, unable to make any sound other than laughter, and only after their vocal cords were torn out, rendering them speechless, did the torture end.


    Duke Aquitaine, the mastermind, was then hung alive at the castle gate and is said to have survived in that state for three days and three nights before dying.


    People said that at first, they didn''t even recognize him as the Duke when they saw him hanging. Except for a few with sharp eyes, most mistook him for a sculpture made of leather.


    But the moment they saw his name written beneath him, a shower of filth rained down upon him.


    And so, the incident came to an end.


    Even deep scars fade with time, so the people of the kingdom firmly believed that they would soon recover and return to their former selves.


    Peace returned to the kingdom.


    But at the same time, a rumor began to spread throughout the kingdom.


    "The first princess, jealous of the third princess'' talent, pushed her off a cliff."


    At first, people dismissed the rumor as absurd nonsense. But as time passed, credible eyewitness accounts emerged, and it gradually became accepted as an open secret.


    Eventually, all the citizens in the kingdom heard the rumor, and it became the unspoken, yet widely accepted truth. The royal palace tried to catch the source of the rumor, but they were unable to find them.


    Instead, their actions only added fuel to the fire, and the rumor spread even further to the point where there was no one who didn''t know about it.


    A rumor without legs travels a thousand miles.


    The rumor spread and morphed, taking on different forms.


    For example, that the first princess had always disliked the third princess.


    That she had a history of secretly abusing the youngest princess.


    That the first princess was the one who brutally murdered the youngest princess in front of the second princess.


    At this rate, it was only a matter of time before Princess Anna''s reputation was ruined. But she, the subject of the rumor, ignored it all.


    Whether it was because she didn''t even want to acknowledge such a low-level rumor, or because the rumor was true and she was too consumed by guilt to respond, no one knew.


    One day, the rumors about the first princess spread to a certain tavern. The knights, alerted by a tip, came to investigate, but the drunkards who had been spreading the rumors had already vanished.


    And so, another day passed in the kingdom.


    **


    *IF.*


    If Remi had caught Aris at the cliff.


    "Aaah... Aaaaaah....!! Someone, anyone, please come quickly¡ª!!!!!"


    "....?,?."


    Aris''s body, which had always been as warm as her heart, was now as cold as ice.


    My hands were desperately trying to stop the bleeding from her stomach, but the blood kept seeping out through the gaps between my fingers.


    Drip, drip, the sound of the falling blood drops sounded like the fading of Aris''s soul.


    The pristine white snow on the ground was stained crimson with Aris''s blood.


    A red circle, growing larger and larger.


    What, what should I do...!!


    "¡ªHere!! The princesses are here!!!"


    "Hurry!! Quickly!! A doctor, get a doctor!!"


    The soldiers soon found us. Their movements, which must have been done with the utmost effort, felt unbearably slow today.


    Faster...


    Please... Hurry!!


    The soldiers gasped when they saw me, and except for a few who remained, the rest rushed off to fetch a doctor.


    ".....Sis¡ª, guh, Keh, ugh..."


    "Aris?! Don''t talk!! It''s okay, it''s okay. It''s me, Remi. Everything will be alright, okay?"


    Aris''s hand slowly reached for my face, fumbling across my body. I forced a smile, trying to reassure her.


    The doctor soon arrived.


    "It''s okay... You''ll be fine... Aris, okay? You will be alright, right?"


    ".........?."


    "Yes... Aris is a good girl... You promised to always be by my side... Didn''t you...!"


    Aris''s eyes turned towards me.


    Her jade-green eyes, which I loved, like precious gems, were becoming cloudy.


    Her unfocused eyes, not looking at me, staring blankly into the distance.


    "¡ªNo!"


    "......"


    "No, Aris... Okay? Aris, just hold on a little longer. They said they''d bring a doctor...! Come on, Aris! Please¡ª!!!!"


    I grabbed her hand, which was fumbling across my face, and squeezed it tightly.


    Did my prayers reach the heavens? Aris, who had seemed lifeless just moments ago, smiled and looked at me directly.


    Yes, you can live...


    Aris...!


    "Yes, Aris... I haven''t finished making the flower crown properly... Right? You promised to teach me...?"


    "¡ªBig sis."


    "You won''t leave, will you, Aris..? You won''t go, leaving me alone, right...!?"


    "...I lo¡­ve you."


    "Yes, yes! I love you too... Aris."


    With those words, Aris closed her eyes and fell asleep, as if all tension had left her body.


    Don''t sleep, Aris. Open your eyes.


    If you sleep in the cold, you''ll catch a cold.


    You taught me that, Aris.


    Right?


    "You can''t close your eyes, Aris..! You have to open your eyes..! We promised to read books together, to go on adventures, to play hide-and-seek!!"


    "......."


    Please...


    "Open your eyes... Please... Just once... Aris..."


    "......."


    Please...


    "Are you... sleeping...?"


    "......."


    "Yes... It can''t be helped. Aris is..."


    Aris didn''t open her eyes.


    Even as snowflakes fell from the sky, even as the cold wind tickled her ears, Aris slept peacefully with her eyes closed.


    The doctors started carrying Aris somewhere.


    Ah¡ª


    "¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö...."


    "¡õ¡õ, ¡õ¡õ¡õ......"


    The knights and maids by my side were talking to me.


    Maybe it was because I was sleepy, but I couldn''t hear them clearly. What are they saying? I can''t hear anything.


    Just leave me alone.


    Whenever Aris fell asleep, I would always fall asleep beside her. Aris has fallen asleep, so is it time for me to sleep too? It felt like tears were welling up in my eyes.


    Sleep?


    Yes, maybe this is all just a dream?


    Yes, it must be a dream.


    A nightmare I never want to have again.


    It has to be a dream.


    Something this horrible couldn''t possibly happen in reality.


    I looked down at my waist.


    I saw a sharply honed dagger.


    It''s time to wake up from this dream.


    I¡ª sea??h th§× Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 16: Blood Scent.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 16 ¡µ Chapter 16. Blood Scent.


    * * *


    **


    Ever since I was born into this world and witnessed the passing of seasons, experiencing my second first snowfall, Remi began reading fairy tales to me every night.


    Back then, six-year-old Remi would diligently read to me, a two-year-old, with her still-developing pronunciation.


    She was so cute back then.


    I would burst into laughter whenever she encountered a word she couldn''t read, secretly asked Mother for help, then proudly resumed the story after learning the correct pronunciation.


    Honestly, I can say this now, but I knew it all, Remi...


    Remi would read me a new story every day, but she would often read her favorite fairy tales over and over again.


    Among them, the first fairy tale she read to me.


    And the book Remi loved most out of all the fairy tales.


    ¡ºAlice of the Blue Forest¡»


    The protagonist, Alice, was a young girl who dreamed of adventure. She felt like her life was fixed, spinning in place like a windmill.


    So she resented her parents who kept her from entering the forest.


    ''A monster who eats people lives in the forest, so never go in there.''


    To Alice, the forest wasn''t a scary place inhabited by a monster, but a peaceful space where birds chirped and deer frolicked.


    Why wouldn''t her parents let her enter the forest?


    Could there be treasure hidden there?


    If she had been an obedient child who listened to her parents, the story wouldn''t have progressed. She would have grown up to be an ordinary girl, gotten married, had children, and lived a long life without causing any trouble.


    But unfortunately, this story was a fairy tale.


    And ¡ª fairy tales exist to teach lessons.


    This story is a warning.


    Good people are rewarded, and bad people are punished.


    Children who disobey their parents'' advice will face misfortune.


    Excessive greed only leads to harm.


    Foolishly, on a day when the sun was shining brighter than ever, Alice ignored her parents'' words and entered the forest.


    And there, she met fantastical beings and formed bonds with them.


    She helped a little fairy who had lost her wings by the water and found them for her.


    She transplanted a tree that was worried about not receiving enough sunlight because it was shorter than the other trees to a new location.


    She gave advice to a dwarf who dreamed of making boots that would last a hundred years, and to a passionate fish who aspired to one day fly in the sky by training its gills.


    These encounters with mystical beings, something she had never experienced before, made Alice''s heart race.


    ¡®Living is the most enjoyable thing,¡¯ Alice said.


    She couldn''t call herself alive just because she was breathing. She said that her past self wasn''t a living person, but rather a sculpture that merely existed.


    ''Now, I am more alive than anything.''


    With each precious bond she formed, her surroundings became noisier, but to her, that noise was a pleasant one.


    But a child who disobeys their parents must face punishment.


    Because this fairy tale was written to warn children who don''t listen to their parents.


    A warning.


    A place where her friends told her not to enter, a place everyone warned her about.


    The deep, dark forest.


    A box that should never be opened, but was more tempting than anything else.


    ''Hey, hey, who are you?''


    ''....Me...?''


    Alice, entering that place, encountered the ''monster''.


    **


    I felt the soft touch of fabric against my eyelids.


    I tried to move, but it was as if my entire body was weighed down by heavy stones, and I was drowning in the sea. A strange scent wafted around me.


    The bitter scent of medicinal herbs mixed with the coppery tang of blood, creating an unsettling smell.


    Haa.


    My consciousness gradually awakened.


    I tried to remember what had happened to me, replaying my last actions.


    A perfectly executed plan, a death so beautiful, the affection of those I cherished¡ªyes, I remembered everything.


    I was stabbed multiple times in the stomach by Anna. Even though she avoided vital points, I ended up falling off a cliff that seemed to be at least tens of meters high.


    Even if they pulled me out of there immediately, there was absolutely no way to save me.


    Yes. It wasn''t just a low possibility, it was completely impossible.


    Then, what is this sensation? Was I reborn after dying?


    No. This is different. Something is wrong. I, more familiar with death than anyone else, could tell. This wasn''t that feeling.


    Something more desperate, more pitiful, more tragic than death.


    A wave of despair, misery, and sorrow washed over me.


    I felt tears welling up.


    So that''s it.


    ¡ªI''m alive?


    "......??,Ah?" Sear?h the n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Where, am I?


    My mouth was as dry as parched earth. I tried to speak, but only a small groan escaped. It felt like my vocal cords were cracking.


    The voice was raspy, with a lower pitch, but it was so familiar. I was certain.


    For some reason, Aris Akaia had survived.


    Click.


    "¡ªYou''re awake."


    "...Ah...!!"


    "Please don''t move. I''ll give you some water first. Carefully, take it easy."


    The sound of a solid object being placed on a wooden table, followed by the voice of an unknown woman.


    The woman''s voice, heard from nearby, was so captivating that I forgot I was crying.


    It was a clear, melodious voice, like jade beads rolling. But beneath it, I sensed a hidden depth of experience and wisdom.


    Dreamlike. Beautiful.


    I''ve never heard a voice like this.


    Who is she?


    "I''ve soaked the cloth in water. I''ll place it in your mouth, so please suck on it slowly. Slowly, slowly. Yes, you''re doing well."


    "......Hap, haa, haa."


    "Little by little, little by little... Yes."


    A soft, water-soaked cloth entered my open mouth.


    I fumbled with my unresponsive tongue, trying to drink the water. A trickle, moisturizing my tongue.


    It was like irrigating a dry rice paddy, but even so, the water was fresh and cool.


    Swish.


    "...¡ªAh."


    "That''s enough."


    My body craved more water, but the woman refused to give me more, saying I shouldn''t drink too much.


    The cloth left my mouth.


    Hmph.


    How mean.


    Although the words didn''t come out of my mouth, did it show on my face? I thought I saw her smile for a moment.


    I opened my eyes to see her, but I felt a stinging pain in one eye and had to close them again. I let out a soft groan.


    Ouch.


    In the brief glimpse I had, all I saw was darkness. It seemed like something was covering my eyes. Was the foreign sensation I felt around my eyes the touch of cloth?


    It felt like a rough bandage was wrapped around my entire head, specifically the eyes.


    I heard the sound of her organizing the tools she had brought to give me water. The clinking sounds stopped, and a few seconds later, her voice came again.


    "Are you feeling better now?"


    "......Yes."


    "That''s good to hear. When I first saw you, I thought you were dead."


    Her voice came from right beside me. I could feel her breath, her scent, her presence, all so intensely.


    The scent I felt earlier, I thought it was coming from me.


    What is this person?


    Is she even human?


    "You looked in such bad shape, so I brought you here and ''treated'' you... but could you tell me what happened?"


    "......Ah...?"


    "If it''s too difficult, you don''t have to speak."


    She was being considerate. From what I gathered, she was the one who found me drifting downstream and rescued me. And it seemed she still didn''t know me.


    She doesn''t know me? Is this some remote countryside?


    How did she even treat me?


    She treated me, all by herself?


    My curiosity only grew, instead of being satiated.


    And.


    Even though her tone was polite and warm, her voice was so full of consideration that it made me think, ''If empathy had a voice, wouldn''t it sound like this?''


    "Ah, I haven''t introduced myself yet."


    From your mouth.


    From your fingertips.


    From your clothes, soaked and clinging stubbornly.


    "My name is Saelli."


    What is that smell of blood?


    And you''re saying you''re a doctor?


    Not a murderer?


    "I... I''m...?"


    I was intrigued.


    I had no attachment to this world, so I could wander around and end up a nameless corpse, or go back to the royal palace to see Anna and Remi.


    But if I saw them now, the sculptures I had painstakingly crafted would crumble again, and...


    Dying right now wouldn''t be right, considering my newfound interest in you, Saelli.


    Ah, as I always thought, I''m just too kind.


    "Ah.... Aaah.... I... I''m...!?"


    "....What?! Calm down!"


    Yes, let''s just assume I died and was reborn. Let''s not overthink it.


    Aris Akaia is dead.


    That''s all.


    "I don''t, know. Why, why? It hurts... It hurts... I need to know... I had something precious... But it hurts... It hurts... Help me..."


    "......!!"


    I heard her gasp.


    I heard her mumble something beside me as she looked at me, but I continued my act.


    I didn''t need to force tears. The cloth covering my eyes was already soaked and dripping onto the floor.


    "Please don''t, leave me... It hurts... I need to know... It hurts, stop, stop it, it hurts, don''t stab me¡ª big sis."


    "...Ah..."


    I raised my hand with all my strength, reaching out to Saelli, who was sitting beside me. Thud, as my fingertips brushed against her, Saelli reacted violently, and I heard the sound of furniture, presumably a chair, collapsing.


    While reeking of the thick scent of blood, unlike anything I''ve ever smelled before, she''s weak to this?


    My interest only grew.


    "This is...!!"


    "He,lp, me, big¡­si¡ª "


    Whoosh, something seemed to be flying towards me, cutting through the air. Unable to react, I could only brace for the impact.


    How kind, sis.


    Thud.


    "¡ªSis."


    "...Just how much... has the outside world... fallen!?"


    My body shook lightly from the impact. Did she hit my neck? Well, knocking out a delirious child is a valid solution.


    Come to think of it, I haven''t thanked her for saving me. Well, I''ll do it after I wake up.


    Then, good night.


    My consciousness began to sink back into the abyss.


    Sleepiness washed over me. The bright sun-lit surface of the water receding.


    Glug, glug.


    Deeper.


    Gurgle.


    Even deeper.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 17: The Truth of the Incident.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 17 ¡µ Chapter 17. The Truth of the Incident.


    * * *


    **


    Caw, caw,


    As the sky gradually turned crimson, the smooth cawing of a crow echoed through the forest.


    Having found its target, the crow, which had been soaring through the sky with its wings spread wide, slowly descended and perched on a woman''s arm.


    The woman''s name was Saelli.


    She was the woman who had pulled a young girl from the riverbank a few days ago.


    The crow was larger than the body of an average child, so even at a glance, it was clear that it was an extraordinary creature.


    And the woman who had allowed such a crow to land on her arm as if it were a pet was no ordinary woman either.


    She carefully untied the knot that secured a small object to the crow''s leg.


    One arm was occupied by the crow, so she had to use only the other hand, but Saelli seemed accustomed to this, quickly untying the knot with deft fingers and retrieving the object.


    A beautiful, blue, glowing stone fell from the crow''s leg and landed in her hand.


    "Caw~?"


    "Rami, I''m always grateful for your help. You''ve worked hard today, as always."


    Saelli pulled a large chunk of meat from her pocket and gave it to the crow. Fresh meat, red and dripping with blood, as if it had been recently caught.


    ¡ªChomp.


    "Oh my."


    The crow, named Rami, let out a loud caw, pleased, and took the meat in its beak. Seeing that it wasn''t eating it right away, it seemed like it had somewhere else to take it.


    Flap, flap, the crow shook its wings a few times. A sign that it was about to take flight.


    "Then, I''ll see you later."


    "~?"


    As Saelli nodded in acknowledgment and stroked its head once, Rami soared into the sky, leaving a gust of wind in its wake, and disappeared.


    Saelli put the pebble-sized stone in her pocket and stood still for a moment, waiting for the wind created by the crow to subside.


    After a few seconds, the forest, which had been whipped by the harsh wind, fell silent again.


    "....Hoo."


    She took the stone out of her pocket again.


    It was a smooth, crystal-like stone that could be confidently said to be not naturally polished. A white aura shimmered around it.


    The sight of the stone enveloped in a strange aura resembled the energy emitted by the earring of a certain man who had been blinded by greed and plotted a conspiracy in the past.


    A shamanistic tool.


    An object imbued with shamanistic power by a shaman. Its purpose could range from cursing someone to death to assisting with everyday tasks like starting a fire.


    However, unlike the black pearl''s energy that had cursed the princess, the bright aura emanating from the stone was pure and clean, indicating that it wasn''t a tool intended for the same purpose.


    "Then, shall we see?"


    ¡ªCrackle.


    After sending the crow off, she looked around a few times, confirming that no one was around, then began to exert force on the stone in her hand.


    Cracks slowly began to spread across the shamanistic tool.


    Whether it was designed to be fragile or whether her strength was that great was unknown, but it was clear that something significant was about to happen.


    Beams of light erupted from the widening cracks, shooting into the air and intertwining with each other.


    The beams of light twisted together in a complex pattern, like knitting, and soon formed a thin, rectangular shape.


    The shimmering, glowing panel then projected something that could be called an image.


    A city surrounded by high walls was the first thing that appeared.


    Atop the highest tower, a flag fluttered, seemingly depicting a white snowflake.


    It was the flag of the Tesillia Kingdom.


    "......."


    Yes.


    The image displayed was an aerial view of the Tesillia Kingdom.


    **


    The people in the image, seemingly unconcerned with a crow flying overhead, went about their daily lives, oblivious to the fact that they were being watched.


    A peaceful country where people lived, bumping into each other.


    When the crow recording the image passed close to the talking people, their voices emanated from the remnants of the tool.


    It seemed like a state-of-the-art tool capable of recording audio as well.


    Saelli, holding the completely shattered stone in her hand, listened intently and watched the image.


    She watched the entire image without pausing it, from start to finish.


    The first place the crow visited for information was the marketplace.


    The most densely populated area in the kingdom.


    Perhaps because the crow was flying quickly through the market alleys, the voices that suddenly reached her ears were deafeningly loud.


    Saelli winced for a moment, but soon, the story she heard made her forget about the noise and harden her face, doubting her own ears.


    The rumor was as follows.


    ''The first princess brutally murdered her younger sister, the youngest princess, and threw her off a cliff.''


    "¡ªWh-What...?!"


    Rumors always spread, regardless of time or place. Saelli, knowing this all too well, tried to ignore the absurd story and pick up other information.


    But the main point of the rumor was the same everywhere.


    The disappearance of Aris Akaia, the ''Light of the Kingdom'', who had always brought smiles to everyone''s faces, known for her gentle nature and polite manners.


    Although the royal palace declared Duke Aquitaine as the culprit, there were too many unanswered questions.


    And the rumor that the true culprit behind the princess''s disappearance was the first princess was rampant throughout the marketplace.


    Some said that Princess Anna had been secretly abusing Princess Aris for a long time.


    Others said that Princess Anna had been cursed and driven mad, which led to this incident.


    There were even those who claimed to have seen Princess Anna walking into the royal palace, covered in blood and looking dazed.


    It was clear that this had gone beyond the realm of ordinary rumors.


    Baseless rumors would soon be forgotten. It was rare for them to spread so widely and become the topic of everyone''s conversation.


    In other words, there was some truth to it.


    Where there''s smoke, there''s fire, right?


    It seemed like her predictions had come true in the worst possible way, she thought.


    ¡ªSwish.


    ".....Is this really the truth?"


    The two-hour-long image ended, and her investigation concluded.


    Saelli slowly pulled a small sword from her pocket.


    A half-broken sword, embedded in the child''s stomach from the moment she found her.


    And the weapon that had been repeatedly used to stab her stomach.


    The blade bore the crest of the ''Akaia'' family, the royal family of the Tesillia Kingdom.


    Yes. The culprit was the victim''s older sister.


    What a horrific story.


    There were many other wounds on the child''s body. In particular, arrows were deeply embedded in her calf and the back of her hand, and the wounds were mangled as if someone had twisted the arrows inside. Sear?h the Novel?ire(.)ne*t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Saelli doubled over, overwhelmed by nausea. But no matter how much she opened her mouth and stuck her fingers down her throat, nothing came out.


    Plip, plop, only a small amount of bile dripped onto the ground.


    "I had a feeling from the beginning. But I didn''t want to believe it."


    She slowly stroked the blade of the sword in her hand.


    If this cold piece of metal had continued to dig into her stomach, the pain would be unimaginable. And if the perpetrator of that atrocity was ¡ªher own cherished family, it would be even worse.


    Saelli understood why the child had lost her memory.


    It must have been so traumatic that she wanted to seal away the memory herself.


    If she hadn''t pulled her out of the river, if she hadn''t treated her, the child would surely have died.


    To be an older sister and, instead of protecting her younger sister, try to kill her, blinded by jealousy?


    Saelli shuddered with rage.


    ¡®This is unacceptable, an act that goes against human nature,¡¯ she concluded.


    "Just as there are things humans are allowed to do... There are things they should never do...!"


    She remembered.


    The thoughtful little sister who, even as she hovered between life and death, coughing up blood, kept repeating the word "big sis" and thinking of her older sister.


    A kind soul who, despite being at an age when throwing tantrums and being spoiled was natural, showed no complaints, and instead worried about her, the one providing treatment.


    The foolish youngest princess, who couldn''t even remember her own name and cried out in a sense of loss, yet remembered and cherished the name of the one who tried to kill her, Princess Anna.


    A good child who spent her nights tormented by guilt over those she had forgotten, not fear of the future.


    That''s why she found it even more unforgivable.


    "You have no right."


    She scattered the fragments in her hand on the ground. As if they were something filthy, she shook her hand vigorously, brushing away every last bit.


    And then she stomped on them with her foot.


    Crack, the fragments crumbled into dust with a loud crunch. Saelli, as if deeming them unworthy of even a glance, kicked the pile of debris hard with her foot.


    Leaving the dust to scatter in the wind, she started heading towards her house.


    Thinking about what to say to the child, to Aris.


    "I can''t... I can''t tell the child who''s waiting for me... about this miserable reality.....!"


    Her worries were far from over.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 18: Daydream.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 18 ¡µ Chapter 18. Daydream.


    * * *


    **


    I like kind people.


    I''m not talking about a dull, uninspiring dichotomy of good and evil.


    The kind people I''m referring to are those who truly empathize with the pain of others, who weep alongside those who grieve.


    Such beautiful actions warm my heart just by observing them from afar, and evoke a strange, tingling sensation from deep within.


    To me, they are like the twinkling stars in the night sky.


    When I''ve lost my way, they''ve come to me and become guiding stars, showing me where to go.


    And when I''ve been alone and desolate, they''ve been by my side, my cheerful companions.


    So.


    Because such people are so wonderful, so lovable, so precious to me...


    I wanted them to grow and reach greater heights.


    Don''t they deserve that position more than a worthless bug like me, a glitch in the system that shouldn''t even exist?


    Kind people deserve to be rewarded.


    But just as a tree needs water and nutrients to grow, growth requires sacrifices.


    However, isn''t it too cruel to force such a tragic fate, to be consumed by someone else, upon those who live a precious, single life?


    That''s why this is something only I can do.


    I''ll work hard.


    Even if it means sacrificing my own insignificant life for them.


    And in the very end...


    It''s enough if they just grieve and weep for me.


    A single tear.


    A single flower.


    That''s the worth of my existence.


    **


    "....Ah..."


    Clatter, clatter, the distinct, cold, hard sound of ceramic echoed from afar, seemingly through the walls. The irregular rhythm, lacking a consistent beat, was enough to wake me from my sleep.


    It seems like Big Sis Elli is preparing a meal.


    What time is it?


    I''m still drowsy, my mind hazy from sleep.


    Since I couldn''t see, I had no way of knowing whether it was morning, noon, or night. Big Sis Elli, who always told me the time whenever I was curious, was far away now.


    Well, I should go out.


    When in doubt, it''s best to go out.


    "......"


    I pushed aside the blanket that was covering me and diligently fumbled around, searching for what I needed. Although I was receiving treatment, my left arm wasn''t completely healed, so I busied my right hand, which was relatively intact.


    Thump, I soon felt the familiar touch of the cane. Its length and weight were adjusted for a child like me.


    It seems I found it faster than any other day these past few days. Am I getting used to living like this?


    ¡ªStagger, stagger.


    "...Ugh... Ungh..."


    I slowly got up, using the cane for support.


    Tap, tap, I walked, tapping the floor with the cane in a steady rhythm.


    Big Sis Elli, ever considerate, had removed all unnecessary furniture to make it easier for me to move around with bandages over my eyes, so even if I walked straight ahead without thinking, there was no risk of bumping into something and getting seriously injured.


    Thanks to that, I could walk towards the direction of her voice without much worry.


    I really like it.


    After taking a few steps, the smell of food grew stronger.


    Thump, I felt a bump with my toes. I must have crossed the threshold. This must be the kitchen. The clinking sounds were definitely louder than before.


    She''s right in front of me.


    "¡ªAh, you''re awake already."


    "Big Sis Elli!"


    Her clear, melodious, and polite voice greeted me. I thought to myself every time I heard it, but her voice was so beautiful.


    Saelli, whom I called Big Sis Elli for short, stopped what she was doing the moment she saw I was awake and rushed towards me.


    You might ask if I could see her doing that, but to be precise, I didn''t see it, but felt it.


    There were quite a few times I was born blind.


    Of course, there were far more times I became blind due to someone else.


    It was an interesting experience to occasionally lose my sight, the sense we rely on the most.


    "Oh my, I must have been a little noisy."


    "Uu, no, it''s okay."


    Swish, she took the cane from my hand and leaned it against the wall, then gently embraced me as if I were a delicate glass figurine.


    A gentle concern for my well-being, something I rarely felt in my life, enveloped me.


    My parents didn''t hug me often, Remi''s hugs were always awkward, Anna''s hugging skills were top-notch, but her figure was a bit¡­unfortunate. Yeah.


    I enjoyed her kindness.


    So kindness was in the chest, huh.


    "Heehee¡­"


    "I was going to wake you up when the food was ready, but... It''s really dangerous for you to walk around alone, isn''t it?"


    "Hmm... I just, woke up and felt uneasy because Elli wasn''t by my side... Sorry..."


    "...I see."


    She gently stroked my hair.


    As if I were a soap bubble that would burst at the slightest touch, she used such a light touch that it was almost imperceptible.


    But even such a touch felt pleasant, and a smile naturally formed on my face.


    Being held in her warm embrace, sleepiness returned. Ah, I need to eat...


    But I''m sleepy.


    I want to stay like this, just a little longer.


    "Really... what am I going to do with you."


    "Hehe..."


    I decided to enjoy her kindness a little longer before eating.


    **


    The meal was a clear soup, like a thin porridge.


    I couldn''t describe it any other way. I couldn''t taste it, and I couldn''t see it.


    Elli apologized, saying she could only offer this for now. She said I had to avoid heavy foods because my internal organs and body weren''t fully healed yet.


    Well, I was the kind of person who thrived not on the taste and aroma of food, but on the sincerity and affection behind it, so it didn''t matter to me.


    The soup had a smooth, creamy texture that coated my mouth pleasantly.


    A few spoonfuls.


    Clink, the spoon hit the empty bowl. Sear?h the Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    I''m done.


    "Elli! It was soooooo~ delicious!!"


    "It was just a humble meal."


    "Uu, I''m serious!"


    "Haha..."


    The meal ended quickly.


    The portion was just right, not too heavy for my body, and the temperature was perfect, making it easy to eat.


    I like people who take care of every little detail like this.


    Because it''s something you can only do if you genuinely care about others.


    After the meal, Elli carried me back to my room. I enjoyed the short trip, clinging to her like a baby koala.


    Dangle, dangle.


    "~?"


    "It''s dangerous to swing around¡ª"


    After passing a few rooms and corners, we arrived at my room. She gently placed me on the bed. I was greeted by the rough texture of the mattress, hardly plush.


    Hoo, a small sigh escaped her lips.


    It was a routine we followed every morning after breakfast.


    "¡ªIs it ''disinfection'' time, Big Sis Elli?"


    "....Yes."


    "Ugh¡­ It hurts, but I''ll try to bear it!"


    "....Okay."


    Her reply was much shorter than usual, and there was a long pause before she spoke again. What was she thinking, looking at me?


    I felt a slight tremor in Big Sis Elli''s hand as we held hands. Her breathing became a little ragged, a little faster.


    Guilt, sorrow, and¡ª excitement, I sensed those emotions.


    Since I can''t see, it''s hard to tell. I need to see her expression to make an accurate judgment.


    Disinfection.


    That''s what Elli called what she was about to do.


    I stretched out my arms as far as I could. Elli''s hands approached and started unbuttoning my clothes, one by one.


    She undressed me with practiced movements, and I felt a sense of liberation as the cool breeze from the open window tickled my skin.


    My top came off first, then my bottoms. Then the bandages around my stomach, calf, and left hand were all removed.


    Finally, she reached for the bandage covering my eyes and said softly.


    "...Because when one eye moves, the other moves with it, you need to keep them closed, even if it''s itchy, to prevent further damage to the injured eye."


    "Okay, Big Sis Elli."


    "...You''re such a good child. Yes, so well-behaved."


    Rustle, the bandage covering my eyes was removed. Even though my eyes were still closed, the light that had been blocked by the bandage could now reach my retinas, piercing through my eyelids.


    It''s bright.


    And I''m curious.


    Big Sis, I''m sure your words are always right.


    But¡ª


    ¡ªWas it really necessary to cover my eyes so tightly when the eyeballs themselves weren''t damaged?


    You''re such an interesting sister, the more I learn about you.


    The ''medicine'' was nothing more than ground herbs that seemed to have been picked nearby. The ''bandages'' were crude and uneven, as if they were torn from cloth.


    How did she even save me?


    The secret must lie in what she''s about to do now.


    I felt the urge to open my eyes and uncover Elli''s secret, but being the well-behaved child I was, I diligently kept them closed.


    The moment I opened my eyes, our relationship would change. I faithfully followed my intuition, honed over countless years.


    Yes.


    Not yet, not yet.


    Just a little longer, until she truly cherishes me.


    Until she feels regret and sorrow for me.


    I have to wait until then.


    "¡ªThen, I''ll begin."


    "...Yes."


    Well, the seeds have been planted. They''ll sprout soon. I''ll endure until then.


    Her voice, as if whispering a secret, reached my ears from close by.


    I felt her breath against my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I tried to pull back, but my right hand, the only one I could move freely since it wasn''t injured, was already intertwined with Big Sis Elli''s left hand.


    Her hand encircled me from behind.


    Like a predator, preparing to devour its prey.


    "....."


    "....."


    Pant, pant.


    I heard breathing. Was it mine, or hers?


    I felt warm air periodically blowing on my eyes. It was as if she was breathing life back into me.


    From what I know, disinfection is the process of sterilizing a wound with antiseptic to prevent secondary infection caused by pathogens.


    Big Sis Elli''s disinfection seems to have a slightly different meaning.


    It''s strange, really.


    But how could a ten-year-old child who grew up sheltered in the royal palace, a child who couldn''t even remember her own name properly, know such ''common sense''?


    No, would she even consider this to be ''normal''?


    That''s why I didn''t question it and obediently followed her words.


    With an attitude that would believe her even if she said day was night.


    Big Sis Elli...


    I want to know more about you.


    What are you hiding, my dear sister?


    So, I''ll pretend I don''t know for now.


    For now...


    "¡ªSorry."


    "....??"


    Sorry, I thought I heard those words whispered into my ear. Lost in thought, I had missed what she had said.


    I tried to ask her to repeat herself, but before I could, the hand that was encircling me from behind tightened its grip.


    Squeeze.


    And¡ª


    ¡ªLick.


    "¡ªHieeeek!?"


    "........Haa."


    Something warm and wet started licking my eyes.


    Although I had been mentally preparing myself, that preparation crumbled mercilessly, and my mouth involuntarily let out a sound.


    Despite experiencing it a few times these past few days, I couldn''t get used to that feeling.


    Lick, lick.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 19: Regret.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 19 ¡µ Chapter 19. Regret.


    * * *


    **


    Did you know that the human body can distinguish between pain inflicted to harm or attack the body and pain that doesn''t significantly affect physical health?


    And that the latter type of pain, due to the release of endorphins, can sometimes even be perceived as pleasure by those who become accustomed to the sensation?


    There''s a saying, "What doesn''t kill me makes me stronger."


    Ah, of course, the meaning of that saying is completely unrelated to the current context.


    That quote isn''t an analogy for this vulgar topic, but contains a philosophical meaning that only philosophy graduate students who need to find jobs in Ancient Greece would understand.


    I just used it because it was a perfect metaphor for the current situation.


    Haven''t you experienced it before?


    Like when you get a strong massage on a muscle with a knot or soreness.


    Or when you pick off a scab from a long, healed wound with your fingernail.


    Or when you cauterize a mouth sore with medication.


    Or when you squeeze and drain an abscess, releasing pus.


    The feeling of applying alcohol to a small cut from a sharp object.


    Acts that are so painful and agonizing that you want to stop immediately, yet strangely addictive, making you want them to continue.


    A strange catharsis, a feeling that arises from deep within your chest.


    Yes.


    I''m feeling it right now.


    "Hooah, ah, aah¡ªah!?"


    "........"


    Something slimy slid over my exposed eyes after the bandages were removed.


    A human tongue.


    Every time Elli''s tongue passed over my wounds, my tightly closed lips would part slightly, releasing a soft moan.


    My body twitched involuntarily as if an electric current was running through it. But her legs, her hands, her soft body, coiled around me, refusing to let go.


    I had no choice but to continue my futile struggles, writhing helplessly.


    It''s like a snake constricting its prey.


    Squeeze, squeeze, like that.


    In the end, the snake opens its mouth wide and swallows its prey whole.


    In one bite.


    Everything.


    Gulp, with a sound like that.


    "Mmf... Haa... Haaa... B-Big sis... St-Stop¡­!!"


    ".....?"


    Wah, I''m baby Aris¡­!


    Perhaps because I had kept my eyes closed ever since I came to this house, my other senses had become more sensitive now that I was deprived of my sight.


    To think it would backfire like this...


    Unnecessary information flooded my mind: the direction of her tongue''s movement, the places where her breath touched, the strength of her grip on my hand, details I wouldn''t have been aware of before.


    Elli clasped my left hand, pierced by the arrow, in both of hers and kissed it. I felt her tongue entering the small, coin-sized hole.


    Lick, lick.


    An electric current ran through my body. I wanted to break free.


    I pulled my left hand away, enduring the pain.


    Whether she was aware of my state or not, Elli only tightened her grip to keep me from escaping.


    ¡ªSqueeze!


    "...Ah, it hurts! Ah, ah... Elli, Big Sis Elli¡ª!!"


    "......."


    As a last resort, I cried out in pain.


    It wasn''t excruciating pain. But only I could endure it this well. If it were an ordinary girl, she would be crying and screaming by now.


    I hoped that Elli would come to her senses and be more gentle.


    Well, there was also a bit of hope mixed in that she would feel remorse and guilt after coming to her senses.


    This humiliation... I''ll pay you back someday.


    Despite my pleas, she remained silent, as if possessed, and showed no signs of softening her actions.


    If anything, It even felt a bit stronger.


    "...¡ªAaaaaah!!!"


    "......"


    The kind Big Sis Elli who would rush to my side and worry about me whenever I said I was hurt was gone.


    Although my right hand became free as she grabbed my left arm with both hands, that was all.


    I was still helpless, leaning against Elli''s body, only able to gasp for breath.


    Squeeze, I could only clutch her sleeve and try to suppress my moans.


    To think that my body, which was less sensitive to pain, would worsen the situation.


    Would it have been different if I felt the pain? When she licked my wounds and sucked the unknown liquid that pooled there, it felt more cool and ticklish than painful.


    I was used to pain, but I couldn''t get used to this strange sensation no matter what.


    Why are you drinking it so greedily¡­!!


    "B-Be more gentle¡ª!!"


    "......"


    It made me wish I had lost my sense of touch instead of smell and taste.


    The continuous stimulation overwhelmed my ability to think rationally. My mind was clouded, like a thick fog, unable to form a single coherent thought.


    Coolness and warmth.


    Pain and affection.


    Contradictory emotions, impossible to coexist, swirled within me.


    Squeeze. I could only close my eyes tightly and hope that she would come to her senses, or that this moment would pass.


    "B-Big sis, snap out of it, snap out of iiiiit¡ª!!!"


    "....Haa."


    My body seemed to have become a part of hers, trembling slightly in sync with her movements. Every time she moved, I could feel the curves of her body pressed against mine.


    My right hand pushed against Elli''s face, but it didn''t budge.


    I''m embarrassed. It¡¯s strange.


    I want to run away and hide under the covers. I want to fall asleep and forget everything.


    "¡ªHooah!? Uh, th-th-that, Mmf!"


    "......."


    Her tongue finally left my hand. Relieved by the receding wave of sensation, I let out a sigh.


    This is, tough.


    "....Huh...?" S§×arch* The ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    "....Haa, haa."


    But my face turned pale as I realized Elli''s head was moving lower, judging by her breathing against my skin.


    From my left arm to my shoulder... from my shoulder to my collarbone... past my chest, slowly, slowly, inching down.


    Like a snake slithering.


    Slowly but surely.


    My screams grew louder in response.


    Stop...!! Really, stop!!


    That''s where my biggest wound was, where I had been stabbed multiple times.


    "..Ah, aaaaah....!"


    "........"


    My stomach felt like it was on fire.


    Disinfection was just the beginning.


    **


    **


    Her lips were tightly closed, but soft moans escaped through the gaps.


    Screams of agony, pleading for the pain to stop.


    Begging for it to end, in a miserable voice.


    A storm had just passed through the room.


    When I came to my senses, I was gasping for breath, standing in front of the child who was curled up on the bed, seemingly unconscious.


    What have I done?


    The child was still trembling, as if unable to escape the agonizing pain.


    Tears that hadn''t dried yet still lingered on her eyelids.


    ¡°I lost control...!!¡±


    I couldn¡¯t control myself. Today must have been an incredibly painful day for the child.


    ¡°Ah¡­ I¡­!!¡±


    ¡°¡­ Big¡­sis¡­¡±


    Even though it was only a little, I could see the child¡¯s wounds healing, new flesh slowly growing.


    A daily ritual of torture disguised as treatment, carried out under the pretense of healing.


    Treatment.


    ¡°Treatment, yes, this is treatment. That¡¯s right¡­¡±


    Yes, this was for the child''s speedy recovery.


    So¡ª


    ¡°This is¡­all for this child¡ª¡±


    ¡°¡ªI¡­don¡¯t¡­like¡­this¡­¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ah¡­it¡­hurts¡­¡±


    ¡°Big sis¡­Elli¡­¡±


    ¡ªThud.


    ¡°......!!¡±


    The child disappeared from my sight.


    I felt the hard texture of the wall behind me.


    The impact against my back made me realize that it wasn¡¯t the child who had moved, but I who had been backing away from her.


    Even now, I could still taste the metallic tang of blood lingering in my mouth.


    And I, my mouth, was savoring it as if it were the most delicious food.


    The realization that I had been deceiving the child, using her, treating her like food for my own well-being, made me gag.


    But my body didn¡¯t reject the human blood, a taste I hadn¡¯t experienced in a long time.


    Rather, it craved more.


    ¡®¡ªEndure. Endure it.¡¯


    Using, deceiving, betraying.


    It felt like I was gradually becoming the very people I had loathed.


    The child''s eyes, squeezed shut with all her might, trusting my words wholeheartedly, trying desperately to hold back from opening.


    I hurriedly took out a new bandage and covered the child''s eyes, afraid that those eyes, now closed as she lay unconscious, would open and look at me with resentment and accusation.


    I¡¯m sorry¡­


    I¡¯m so, so sorry¡­


    ¡°Haa¡­haa¡­¡±


    My hands moved quickly, wrapping the bandage around the child¡¯s eyes.


    This could hardly be called atonement, but I quickly bandaged the rest of her wounds and changed the sheets and blankets that were soaked with sweat and the child¡¯s saliva.


    Yes, at first, it was just a whim.


    A fragile child who should have died alone on the cold riverbank, a child I should have killed with my own hands if she had been lucky enough to survive.


    But upon hearing the child''s mumbling, I found myself bringing her home and treating her.


    Affection.


    Yes, I suppose that''s what had accumulated.


    The child''s pure affection, given to someone like me.


    Touched by that feeling, a feeling I hadn''t experienced in so long, I didn''t want to let her go.


    Even so, I should have returned the child to her family once she recovered to a certain extent.


    When I could still bear the pain of separation.


    But I couldn''t.


    ¡°I know¡­ I know too¡­!¡±


    I carefully closed the door to the child¡¯s room, hoping that she would find some peace, and headed towards the kitchen.


    How hypocritical of me.


    When I, the monster who had ravaged the child, was standing here.


    I have to let her go.


    But those adorable lips calling me "Elli" were so lovely¡ª


    The moment she walked towards me, struggling to support herself with her cane, and threw herself into my arms, trusting me completely, was so delightful¡ª


    I gave in to my greed.


    Just a little longer.


    After all her wounds are healed.


    Then, I¡¯ll return her to her family.


    But I was now agonizing over this decision.


    Should I keep the child, or return her?


    Should I betray her, or tell her the truth?


    ¡°........¡±


    As I entered the kitchen, I noticed the mirror placed on the table.


    As if devoid of any emotions, the one who had just created that tragic scene stared blankly at the mirror, her expression unchanged, as if nothing had happened.


    Black hair, like a collection of filth, repulsive to even touch, making anyone who saw it feel uncomfortable.


    Blood-red eyes, vertically slit like those of a beast, one part of my body that could never change, no matter how I tried to mimic a human form.


    A hardened face, unable to convey emotions, only coldness.


    ''You''re¡­ a monster...!!''


    ''¡­ Why are you running away from me, Alice?''


    In the distant past, someone had called me a monster.


    Yes, a monster.


    I am an inevitable monster.


    What would the child think if she knew that the woman she trusted and followed so devotedly was a man-eating monster?


    If I told her that I already knew the past she so desperately wanted to retrieve, that I was hiding it from her only to keep her from leaving, would she resent me?


    Treatment, it''s called treatment.


    Days of deceiving the child with sweet words, sucking her blood and treating her wounds while inflicting pain. The child who was now no longer at death¡¯s doorstep and in need of only recovery.


    Wasn''t the truth that I had taken in a helpless child, carefully leashing her, making her dependent on me alone so she couldn¡¯t escape?


    And I was busy satisfying my own greedy desires, relishing the child''s screams.


    Yes.


    This is just like¡ª


    ¡ªIsn''t it like I''ve captured this child, imprisoned her, and I am raising her like livestock?


    "....This is the worst. The absolute worst."


    Bang, I slammed my head against the table.


    It wasn''t until much later that I began preparing lunch.


    **


    (TL Afterword: This is the author''s note¡­ I think¡­)


    Ero(Medical)


    The Raccoon Man paid a visit in between.


    It¡¯s medical treatment. What were you imagining?


    No updates tomorrow.


    * * *

 Chapter 20: Choice.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 20 ¡µ Chapter 20. Choice.


    * * *


    **


    Farming.


    The act of sowing seeds or grains in the ground and later harvesting the fruits that grow from them.


    It''s considered one of the most representative and arduous labors in our long history, yet surprisingly, many people enjoy and love it.


    You don''t have to look far to find that I''m one of them.


    I like it but¡­ The reasons people like it are as diverse as the number of people in the world, but I think the most common reason is that the reward follows in proportion to the effort?


    There''s a saying, ¡®The land doesn''t lie.¡¯


    Well, the sky high above often spews out lies that are hard to accept. Sear?h the novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Torrential rains, storms, droughts, and so on.


    Anyway, farmers set out to work at the same time every day ¡ª before the stars disappear beyond the horizon and the sun reveals itself.


    I plow the fields, pulling weeds, compact the soil.


    Rustle, I generously sow the seeds.


    Even though the seeds sometimes don''t germinate, even though they wither away right after sprouting, even though they become fertilizer for other plants without bearing fruit, I continue to sow seeds diligently, following their lead.


    And finally, has the sky recognized the sincerity of my prayers?


    Green cotyledons have begun to sprout from the seeds I''ve sown.


    Quietly, little by little.


    Crack, the shells start to break.


    This one is Anna.


    This one is Remi.


    And this one is¡ª


    ¡ªElli.


    I decided to call this plant ''Elli'', after her nickname.


    **


    One month ago.


    The day I planted a seed in Saelli, or rather, Big Sis Elli.


    After I was subdued by Elli while pretending to have a meltdown after realizing I had lost my memory, I woke up in a bed in a bedroom and started revealing my memories bit by bit, amidst Elli''s concern.


    You said I didn''t have to force myself to remember if my head hurt or my heart ached, didn''t you? Her words, prioritizing my well-being over my memories, almost brought tears to my eyes.


    Sniffle, sniffle.


    Well, it was all an act from the start.


    ''Aris Akaia'' had to die. There was no reason for her to live.


    So I, myself, decided to kill her.


    I said I had forgotten everything.


    The memories of ten years, the happy past, my precious family, even my own name¡ªeverything was gone.


    Like bubbles formed by the waves, disappearing as they crashed against a solid reef.


    Crash, I was about to vanish.


    Except for one thing.


    "Anna¡­"


    "¡­Anna, is that your name?"


    I simply muttered the one syllables, ''Anna'', in response to Big Sis Elli''s question about my name.


    Anna.


    Anna Akaia.


    My unfortunate older sister, who attacked me, the root cause of her inferiority, to escape from it.


    She must be continuing her relentless efforts, for me, who died a meaningless death due to her wrong choice.


    ".....No¡­ no...!!"


    "....!!"


    "I...! I''m calling that name... Who is it? Who is it? AAAH...!!"


    "...Calm down!! Breathe, take a deep breath. Now¡ª"


    I clutched my chest and wept.


    Tears streamed down, soaking the bandage.


    After that, there were incidents where I almost passed out again because Elli thought I was panicking, or where I was forcefully laid back down on the bed while writhing.


    The recoil of being laid down sent tingling sensations throughout my body, making me scream.


    And then, Elli, not knowing what to do, kept apologizing.


    Hearing Elli''s flustered voice was so enjoyable.


    According to Saelli, I was found downstream of the river.


    Even though the river served as a natural border, and one could travel through multiple countries by following its course, there were limits.


    And considering the state of my body, I couldn''t have been adrift for very long.


    At most, a few dozen kilometers?


    If my body had floated for longer than that, I would have become fish food.


    So this place was within the Tesillia Kingdom, even if we extend the range as far as possible, at most it¡¯s still ''nearby'',


    The name ''Anna'', and my appearance, which seemed to be that of a noble.


    Considering her kind heart, which led her to treat a young child like me with such care, I''m sure she would spare no effort to uncover my past.


    Then, eventually, she would find out as a reward for her sincerity.


    The horrific past of me, ''Aris Akaia''.


    A child found on the brink of death.


    No one knew what kind of atrocities had been inflicted upon her, but her body was mangled beyond words, and she seemed so traumatized that she couldn''t even remember what had happened.


    And all that the child could remember was two syllables, presumably the name of a family member. (TL Note: Two Syllables, Why? Because Anna¡¯s Korean name is ?? which consist of two.)


    "Anna.....Anna....."


    "......."


    As if those two syllables were incredibly precious, the child called out that name every day, singing about wanting to see her.


    She even whispered the name in her sleep.


    But the gods are cruel.


    The truth she finally uncovered was¡ªthat the sister the child so desperately wanted to see was the perpetrator of that horrific crime.


    Driven by envy of her younger sister''s talent, she ruthlessly stabbed her youngest sister and threw her off a cliff. A depraved soul.


    It was hard to believe that she was human, with warm blood flowing through her veins like everyone else.


    Heehee.


    Hahahaha.


    Would Elli tell me the horrifying truth?


    Or would she betray the child''s expectations and lie?


    A white lie, as they call it.


    A doctor telling a terminally ill patient that they can live, instilling false hope.


    Some might consider it a good deed born from good intentions.


    But in the end, a lie is a lie.


    Those who utter lies must bear the consequences of their actions.


    I''m curious.


    What choice will Big Sis make?


    Now¡ª


    Choose.


    **


    Life is a series of choices, and no one can escape that cycle.


    She had hoped this moment wouldn''t come, but the moment of choice had found her.


    Ta-da, like this.


    After the "disinfection" routine, which had been unusually intense compared to previous days,


    I could sense something amiss in Elli''s attitude towards me.


    Huh...?


    Of course, I had known before that she felt an inexplicable sense of guilt towards me, but the intensity was different today.


    If it was like regular coffee before, now it''s like Starbucks?


    "¡­ Big sis¡­?"


    "........"


    Tap, tap, I walked into the kitchen, leaning on my cane.


    I called out to her, but there was no answer.


    Unlike before, when she would respond within seconds to my words, Elli didn''t seem to register my presence.


    I walked towards where I sensed her presence and, spreading my arms, jumped into her embrace.


    Hug, Elli''s distinct, metallic scent assaulted my senses.


    I can¡¯t make out the smell of flowers or food, but for some reason, but I was strangely sensitive to the smell of blood.


    How strange.


    I snuggled against her back and called out her name.


    "Big sis Elli¡­?"


    "¡­ Ah!"


    She always noticed me, even when I snuck up on her from behind with all my effort.


    For Elli, with her remarkable perception, to not react until I approached her with my cane and embraced her¡­


    Elli''s voice was startled as she realized I was hugging her, and she slowly started talking to me.


    Heehee.


    Big sis, you shouldn''t play poker or anything like that, you know?


    You''ll lose everything, from top to bottom.


    I could tell just by your voice.


    "¡­ I¡¯m sorry. I made a mistake."


    "Huh..? What do you mean¡­?"


    "¡­It¡¯s nothing. Yes. Now, let¡¯s eat."


    Her tone was more broken than usual, and her responses were delayed, as if she was absentminded.


    It was to the extent that even a young child who adored and followed her older sister would notice something was wrong.


    Big Sis, you found out, didn''t you?


    I found out too.


    Was that why today''s ''disinfection'' was so painful?


    Sensing her strangeness, I slowly sat down in my designated seat for my meals.


    A soft chair welcomed me.


    "¡­Here you go. I tried something a little different today."


    "............"


    "¡­Is something¡­not to your liking?"


    The spoon wasn''t lifted, it just moved around in circles, swirling.


    Scrape, scrape, the spoon scraped against the bowl, making a sharp sound.


    The meal was, as always, a thin soup tailored to my condition. However, seeing that the portion was larger than before and there were some solid ingredients, it seemed Elli felt that my condition had improved considerably.


    Thud, I didn''t pick up the spoon for a long time.


    "......."


    "......."


    As I put the spoon down, a heavy silence descended upon the kitchen.


    I felt her gaze fixed on me. Maybe she thought I was uncomfortable with the different meal?


    Or maybe she thought I was too weak to even eat because of the unusually painful treatment?


    Well, I do want to eat something else.


    I spoke.


    "Big sis Elli¡­"


    "¡­ Yes? What is it?"


    Elli''s voice trembled slightly.


    A well-controlled tone, so subtle that one wouldn''t notice the difference without listening carefully.


    But often, those who pretend to be composed on the surface are actually rotting away inside.


    Big Sis Elli, are you listing all the possible mistakes you might have made, lost in a whirlwind of delusions?


    But what I''m about to say is something bigger than those trivial matters, something like...


    Yes.


    A bomb, you could say?


    I spoke slowly, in a low voice.


    Gulp, I heard Elli swallowing nervously.


    "Big Sis¡­ Did you find Anna?"


    ".....!"


    The air froze.


    Now is the time to choose, Big Sis Elli.


    What will you choose¡ª?


    A reality where only despair exists.


    An illusion where hope doesn''t even exist.


    Both are, well, pretty much the same.


    Think long and hard about it.


    Really~ really hard.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 21: Naming.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 21 ¡µ Chapter 21. Naming.


    * * *


    **


    My heart pounded uncontrollably, like it had lost all sense of rhythm.


    Thump, thump. It felt like I could hear the sound of my own heartbeat in my ears.


    The child, she won''t hear this, right?


    Anxiety gripped me. The child had asked her question and remained motionless, simply staring at me intently.


    "........"


    "........"


    The silence was unbearably heavy.


    Her eyes, covered by the bandage, surely couldn''t see me, but I unconsciously averted my gaze from where I imagined them to be and stared at the floor.


    The weight of my guilt pressed down on me. But that guilt soon transformed into rage, burning within my heart.


    Anna. Anna Akaia.


    That damn, that damn Anna...!!


    The rage, unable to be fully contained, was directed at a person I had never even spoken to.


    Anna... You, that human being... Why are you still lingering here like a ghost, refusing to leave this child''s side...!!


    Let¡­ Let go of this child¡­


    Indescribable anger surged through my spine. I felt my head growing hot, my pupils dilating. It was like I was drunk on strong liquor.


    But those emotions soon had to subside. S~ea??h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Because I had no right to feel that way in front of this child.


    "...Big Sis Elli?"


    "...Ah¡ª"


    The sound of my name, spoken cautiously, brought me back from my thoughts.


    They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul.


    Even though I couldn''t see the child''s face because of the bandage, I could still sense her affection for me in her voice, her tone, and the curve of her lips.


    Yes.


    The child was kind.


    There was no other way to describe it.


    A child so kind that she only knew how to care for others, neglecting herself.


    There must have been things she wanted to complain about, this stifling life.


    She could have been suspicious of my strange and bizarre actions, which only brought her pain.


    She could have acted spoiled, even just once.


    But instead, the child always prioritized my gloomy mood, striving to lighten the atmosphere, diligently following my often odd and strange words or commands.


    That was affection.


    An affection so sweet it would melt your tongue, so thick and suffocating that it was impossible to escape.


    In the end, I had no choice but to admit it.


    I couldn''t let go of this child in front of me.


    "Ah...Anna, that was the name, wasn''t it¡­"


    ".....Yes..!"


    As I started talking about Anna, the child''s face brightened noticeably.


    It was a beautiful smile, one I had never seen before.


    ¡ªCrunch.


    I bit my lip. My sharp fangs, which could easily tear through tough meat, pierced through my delicate lip like a sheet of paper, drawing blood.


    After I tasted the salty tang of blood. It felt like my chaotic thoughts were slowly settling down.


    "......"


    Gulp. I swallowed.


    The words, "I wish you were a bad child," almost escaped my lips.


    But my wish disappeared with the swallowed saliva, sinking into the dark abyss within.


    To wish for a kind child to be bad¡­


    I truly am an irredeemable monster.


    Would I have felt a little better if you had feared me, rejected me, betrayed me, attacked me¡ªtried to leave this place and run far away?


    If you had¡ª


    ¡ªI could have devoured you without any regrets.


    But it''s too late now.


    ".....Ah, that''s right. Anna, Anna¡­ Anna.."


    "...Did you find out anything, Big Sis?"


    "Ah.... Aaah... Yes. I did find something."


    I was now standing at a crossroads.


    The words I uttered now would drastically change our lives from this point forward. For some reason, I felt that way. My intuition was sounding the alarm.


    If I crossed this line, there would be no turning back.


    I raised my hand and covered my eyes.


    Darkness descended.


    It was as if a long line had been drawn before me.


    Should I tell the truth?


    Should I betray the child''s trust?


    If I told her the cruel truth, she would definitely run to her sister.


    I couldn''t think of any other future. Knowing her, that''s exactly what she would do.


    ¡ªBut I have to stop that, no matter what.


    The devil whispered.


    To ease her sister''s guilt, who must have believed that she had killed her, or perhaps to hear the reason why the first princess hated her, the child would seek out her sister.


    Maybe it¡¯s both.


    Because that''s the kind of heart she had.


    Even facing the murderer who coldly tried to kill her, the child would probably say it was her fault.


    She would say she would fix anything her sister disliked, begging her not to abandon her.


    She would cry and wail, obediently following any humiliating order.


    What would become of the child?


    What would that woman do?


    Would that woman, who committed such a cruel act without hesitation, throw a celebration because the child she thought she had killed had returned alive? Would she hold a ball and invite people, declaring it a joyous occasion?


    Would she provide a warm home and food for the child, welcoming her back as a cherished family member?


    No¡­ no¡­


    That''s¡­ That¡¯s impossible¡­!!!


    Crack, I heard something shatter within me.


    I crossed the line that had been drawn before me.


    I can''t believe it.


    Yes, I can''t leave the child in that woman''s care. She''s not worthy, she doesn''t deserve it.


    It would be a blessing if she didn¡¯t try to kill her again.


    ¡®U-Uh¡­ Big sis¡­¡¯


    ¡®¡­.!!¡¯


    The image of the child, covered in blood, writhing like a corpse on the riverbank, was still vivid in my mind.


    The child would be betrayed again, suffering an unforgettable wound.


    I can''t allow that.


    Yes.


    This is all ¡ªto protect the child.


    It¡¯s not a betrayal.


    This is, protection¡­!


    So I will.


    I will¡ª


    "¡ªI¡¯m sorry. I couldn¡¯t find anyone with that name."


    "¡­Ah¡­?"


    "I couldn¡¯t¡­find her."


    The child''s bright smile froze, her happy expression turning stiff.


    I spoke.


    One syllable at a time.


    Clearly and precisely, so that she could hear.


    She''s not there.


    She''s not there, I said.


    Such a person doesn''t exist.


    Even if she does, I won''t allow it.


    So don''t chase after that illusion.


    But, I''m here for you, right in front of you.


    "There''s no one like that."


    "Ah... Uh¡­?"


    "Not a single one."


    Hearing my answer, the child wrapped her right arm, the only one she could move freely, around her left arm and started trembling.


    Ah.


    I''ve said it.


    I¡¯ve said it.


    There''s no turning back now.


    Was she that shocked?


    ¡ªThe child''s body slowly started to tilt sideways.


    "¡ªAh no."


    "Huh... Huh! Haa... Haa..."


    Thud.


    I quickly got up from my chair and went to the child''s side.


    I supported her fragile body, which was swaying precariously as if in shock, before she could fall off the chair.


    The child¡¯s body was as light as a cloud, as soft as a feather.


    It was all for her.


    The angel in my heart smiled faintly, nodded, and then slowly vanished.


    I''m sorry.


    But, I love you.


    I held the child tightly in my arms and patted her back gently. Maybe it was just my imagination, but her moans seemed to have subsided a little.


    It felt so good that the child was leaning on me completely.


    I thought to myself.


    I should have done this sooner.


    "Ah..... Ah......!"


    "There, there, it''s alright. Maybe if we keep looking, we''ll find her, right?"


    "R-Really...?"


    "Of course. I''ll stay by your side and help you until we find her."


    Did they say that forgetting is a blessing from the gods?


    But for a child who could only live clinging to two syllables of a name, having lost all her memories and her past, forgetting was nothing but a curse.


    Hope, clues, memories, the past.


    Having lost all those mental pillars, the child who had been so mature seemed just like any other girl her age.


    I saw the mirror from before, reflecting me as I patted the child in my arms.


    The same dirty, black hair as always.


    Blood-red eyes, revealing my true nature as a monster, a truth I could never hide.


    The same grim face I had been looking at for hundreds of years.


    But there was one thing that had changed.


    What¡¯s this, me?


    I''ve always worn a mask¡­


    I could make an expression like that too, huh?


    It''s rather nice.


    "Huu¡­huu¡­uwaaaaaah¡­!!"


    "Yes, it''s okay to cry. Here, I''m here for you, aren''t I?"


    I patted the child''s back as she buried her face in my chest and sobbed.


    At this moment, no, from now on, I was the only one this child could rely on.


    At this moment, the future that had been split in two narrowed down to one.


    Smirk.


    I saw the reflection of the red-eyed woman in the mirror, her lips stretching into a wide grin.


    I looked straight at the mirror and said,


    *It doesn''t matter what anyone says.*


    You, all of you, made me this way.


    I''m a bad monster.


    It¡¯s only natural for a monster to do bad things, right?


    I will make this child mine.


    I gently stroked the neck of the child, who had completely surrendered herself to me. I extended my nails slightly, leaving small marks on her milky-white, unblemished neck.


    One wasn''t enough, so I made two.


    "I''ll give you a name."


    "...Big Sis Ell¡­i?"


    "It''s quite lonely to not have a name to be called by."


    The child stopped crying and looked up at me.


    I flicked my snake-like tongue and slowly started to wrap a leash around her neck.


    I will make you happy.


    Now,


    "Alice, how does that sound?"


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 22: Mutual Affection.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 22 ¡µ Chapter 22. Mutual Affection.


    * * *


    **


    A time when the seasons have changed a thousand times over.


    A time when the mountains and rivers, the grass and trees, have been born and died ten times over.


    For that long, long time, I simply existed, wasting away the years.


    Without achieving anything, without even the desire to change, as if I were a pebble rolling along the roadside, I remained stuck in one place.


    Yes.


    All I had done were things that anyone, even a random passerby, could have accomplished.


    There was no value in someone like me.


    "¡ªIt''s time to wake up."


    "...Mmm..."


    But not anymore.


    There was now something only I could do.


    Perhaps because I had read to her from a book until late last night, the child seemed very sleepy today. She clung tightly to the blankets, curled up as if unwilling to leave the warmth of her bed.


    I got up early in the morning, prepared breakfast, and sat down next to the child, who was still half asleep. S§×ar?h the NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Swish, I ran my hand through her silky hair, enjoying the soft texture.


    Tingle, tingle.


    I felt a jolt, like an electric current, run through my fingertips.


    The food would get cold, but that didn''t matter. I could always reheat it.


    This fleeting moment was far more important.


    The old me, who cursed the unmoving sun and wished for tomorrow to come, was gone. Now, this time, flowing away like grains of sand slipping through my fingers, was unbearably precious.


    I wished this moment would last forever.


    I thought to myself, no one else but me should be here, sitting next to this child.


    I can''t allow anyone else to take my place.


    One month had passed since I started calling the child Alice, a mere speck of time compared to my long existence.


    But that speck of time was precisely what I had truly desired.


    My value, my worth, was slowly being born.


    Yes, this is what it means to live.


    This is what life is all about.


    A rough, cruel, and ferociously raging poison.


    That poison was consuming me.


    "¡ªAlice, if you don''t wake up, I''ll have to tickle you, you know?"


    "...Mmm¡­ Just a little longer¡­ a little longer¡­"


    "Really¡­ This won''t do¡­"


    I felt alive, right here, right now.


    **


    The day, Elli made up her mind and gave me a new name.


    Even on that day, when the sun seemed to be shining brightly just for us, the sun rose high and then sank beyond the mountains in the distance. Time didn''t care about us.


    It was such a fun day.


    Really, really good.


    "Really... Big Sis Elli, you too...!!"


    "Ha... Haha... I got caught up in the moment, I couldn''t help myself."


    "Hmph! I''m going to sulk!"


    Swish, I dramatically pulled down the neckline of my clothes. The area where my neck met my shoulder must be red.


    Of course, I couldn''t see it to be sure, but even I felt a sharp pain, so it must have been quite a painful bite.


    To think she would bite me because I didn''t wake up.


    You play too rough.


    I pouted and showed her my wound. There, see! This mark! I protested.


    "Are you going to be upset..? Big Sis, I''m¡­sulking.. you know?"


    "...Sulking once in a while¡­doesn¡¯t seem so bad."


    "Huh? What did you say?"


    "Ah, it''s nothing."


    Elli had changed drastically since that day, as if she were a different person.


    I was quite surprised by her transformation, how she was now actively approaching me, unlike before when she had kept her distance as if there was an invisible wall between us.


    I had never seen her playful side before, like this morning.


    People often show unexpected sides of themselves when they become close, but this was a complete change of her exterior.


    Just like the saying that ''once a monk tastes meat, there won''t be a single bug left in the temple,'' once she tasted love, she could never go back to her former life, where she didn''t know love.


    Well, I also liked how she had struggled so hard to keep me at a distance, to avoid getting attached.


    It was so obvious that she would eventually sink deep into the mud.


    She should have just given in and accepted it from the start.


    Love is like a thorn, the more you try to pull it out, the deeper it goes.


    Heehee.


    It''s a little disappointing that I can''t see the cold and indifferent Elli from before anymore, but I''m also enjoying her current state, so it''s not all bad.


    It''s a good change.


    Yes, this is how humans should be, reaching out to others and forming bonds.


    I simply taught her the right way to live.


    Even a passing encounter is a connection.


    But where there are meetings, there are also partings.


    And where there is love, there is also heartbreak.


    "So Alice, what can I do for you?"


    "...Feed me."


    "Excuse me?"


    "...Feed me."


    "......"


    Ah, this is dangerous.


    I instinctively knew.


    With my words, the atmosphere around her froze. But then Big Sis Elli came to her senses. I sensed her resolve and felt the change in the atmosphere around her to something unknown, and I thought,


    Oh no, I said the wrong thing.


    For a moment, I thought about running away, and I quickly put that thought into action.


    And I was quickly caught.


    I didn''t hear her pulling back her chair or walking towards me, but she caught me, my body trained from countless games of hide-and-seek, in a matter of seconds.


    I-It''s okay! I can eat by myself!


    No. Didn''t you ask me to feed you first?


    I was just kidding! So it''s okay!


    If you play a prank, you must be punished. Now¡ª


    W-What?!


    After that, I was messily fed like crazy.


    Elli held me like a baby, blowing on each spoonful of food before feeding it to me.


    Wah wah, I''m baby Alice.


    Hmph.


    By the way, the food was delicious.


    Tch.


    **


    During that month, Elli had gone through many changes.


    Well, you could say that everything had changed, from her tone of voice to her actions. It would be faster to list the things that hadn''t changed. But let''s try to give three major examples.


    First, Elli started calling me ''Alice''.


    I don''t know where she got that name from. Although I could understand the emotions of others well, even I couldn''t read their thoughts.


    Elli must know my real name and identity, ''Aris''. She might have called me ''Alice'', a name derived from that.


    That theory was plausible, but¡­


    ¡ªBut, something felt off.


    She wanted to avoid the scenario of me regaining my memories as much as possible. It didn''t seem like Elli would give me a name with such hints or in hopes for me to remember.


    And the deep emotion I felt when Elli called me Alice.


    A storm of emotions, so jumbled and mixed that even I couldn''t decipher them all. There must be a deep story behind it.


    Ugh¡­ I don''t know.


    There were no hints, and it wasn''t like she would tell me even if I asked.


    My name wasn''t that important, so should I just not worry about it?


    Well, I guess Elli must have had a friend with that name in the past.


    Yes, that''s it.


    Next, the frequency of ''disinfecting'' my wounds decreased.


    The disinfection, which was done almost daily, was reduced to about once a week.


    The intensity also decreased significantly. Her tongue merely grazed my wounds. It didn''t hurt, nor was it particularly ticklish.


    If it was like candied fruit(Tanghulu) before, now it''s like a simple coating, something like that. (TL Note: Wtf are you saying, you¡¯re insane)


    It couldn''t be that it decreased because my wounds were healing well, because the frequency didn''t gradually decrease, but changed abruptly overnight, so there must be some other reason.


    When I endured the disinfection with a composed expression, saying it didn¡¯t tickle, so it was fine, Elli sighed as if disappointed. Why¡­?


    Finally, the number of Elli''s nighttime hunts increased.


    I don''t know the reason.


    She could move around freely with me, holding my hand, even under the blazing sun, but why did she only hunt at night?


    And why was the frequency so short now?


    Being a good child of a new country, I pretended not to notice Elli''s strange behavior, sticking to my routine of sleeping early and waking up early. As always, I''m a good girl.


    From my observations over the past month, she seemed to go out every three days.


    And, as always, she returned reeking of blood.


    Hunting.


    So the chunks of meat that had recently appeared in my diet were personally brought in by Elli. Mostly rabbits and deer.


    Of course, even before Elli started calling me Alice, she hunted. But not as often, not once every three days.


    Once a week, at most.


    It wasn''t a sufficient explanation to say it was because I had started eating meat. I barely ate anything, to begin with.


    Was it because of that? That intense scent of blood I''d felt since we first met.


    No matter how much she washed, that metallic scent that clung to her fingernails, the creases of her ankles and knees, and behind her ears couldn¡¯t be washed away.


    It had started again.


    Even though so many things had changed, there was one thing that hadn¡¯t changed.


    The bandages on my eyes showed no sign of being removed, even though my wounds were almost completely healed.


    I asked her a few times if I could take them off, but the answer was always "Not yet."


    Huh?


    Ah, I don''t get it.


    I¡¯ve already given her everything.


    And yet, she still has so many secrets from me.


    If you keep doing this, it just makes me want to know more.


    This is your fault, Big Sis.


    The intuition that warned me of danger when I first thought about uncovering Elli''s secrets¡­


    "......"


    My intuition was silent.


    The fact that it wasn¡¯t reacting made me so happy, because it meant Elli cherished me.


    Big Sis Elli, we''re close, right?


    Friends, yes. We¡¯re good friends.


    So¡ª


    Friends don''t keep secrets from each other, right?


    "Heehee."


    I grinned.


    ***


    The End.


    After a few side stories, the second part will be released.


    The side stories will be based on the recommendations in the comments and, what I want to write. (TL Note: Author is talking about comments on the original work, don¡¯t worry about it.)


    * * *

 Chapter 23: Those Left Behind.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 23 ¡µ Chapter 23. Those Left Behind.


    * * *


    **


    Blessed are those who mourn, Sear?h the N??elFir§×.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Blessed are those who mourn,


    Blessed are those who mourn,


    Blessed are those who mourn,


    Blessed are those who mourn,


    Blessed are those who mourn,


    Blessed are those who mourn,


    Blessed are those who mourn,


    For they shall mourn forever


    ¡ºEight Blessings¡»by Yun Dong-ju.


    Sorrow is the most universal emotion.


    It lies at the root of all growth.


    "¡ªThat''s¡­ my favorite poem."


    **


    The day my sister pushed Aris off the cliff.


    My world lost its color.


    Nothing could make me smile.


    No one could bring me joy.


    The smell of well-cooked meat was like a pungent stench that pierced my nose, and buttered bread was so greasy it made me nauseous.


    In my dreams, Aris appeared, dripping with blood from head to toe.


    She could have expressed her anger, her resentment towards my incompetence, my inability to save her. Yet, she just smiled with all her might, just like the kind and precious little sister she was. When I came to my senses, I was always crying alone in an empty room.


    It was cold.


    The bed, which had always felt too small, felt surprisingly spacious.


    That realization was so heartbreaking.


    A month had passed since then.


    Rain doesn''t last forever.


    And neither does a clear sky.


    The dark clouds that had loomed over the royal palace gradually dissipated, and people started returning to their daily lives.


    All the things that big sis Anna had done were swept under the rug, and the blame for the incident was placed entirely on Duke Aquitaine, who had cursed Anna with shamanistic tool.


    Aris''s written records, the cursed earring found at the scene, the maid''s testimony, the suspect''s escape.


    There was no need for a trial.


    The harshest possible punishment was handed down.


    The reason for such a severe punishment was that there was no crueler punishment available.


    Naturally, our parents forgave Anna.


    Even though she had killed her sister, she was still a member of our family, and she had been under mental attack due to the curse. She was deeply remorseful and regretful, and most importantly, it could cause great turmoil in the kingdom¡ª


    So, the truth was buried.


    Only fabricated lies remained, destined to be recorded in history.


    I couldn''t bear it. It felt like it was an insult to Aris''s death, how she had struggled to hold on despite Anna''s attack.


    Yes.


    I know.


    I know.


    I''m not so foolish as to deny that.


    My head forgave Anna.


    I thought that she was a victim too, a pitiful person, and that Aris, who hadn''t even resisted properly, would also want me to forgive her.


    But.


    But my heart couldn''t fully forgive her.


    Disappointment, betrayal, frustration, malice, disillusionment, annoyance, unease, rage.


    Every time I saw Anna, now obsessively devoted to her studies, my heart burned with rage.


    There were things to pity about her, but a handful of water couldn''t extinguish the raging fire.


    That kind child.


    The little sister so precious it would hurt to even touch her eyes


    Who was kinder than anyone and always thought of others.


    ¡ªTo think that she was killed because of a mere inferiority complex.


    I didn''t know everything about shamanism, but I knew the basics.


    The cursed earring wasn''t imbued with a powerful curse.


    In fact, the results of the secret investigation concluded that the earring only had the effect of amplifying emotions and manipulating anxiety, nothing more.


    ¡ªThe reason why Anna decided to kill Aris was her own will.


    You killed her.


    You, killed Aris.


    You trampled on her, tormented her, and enjoyed watching her writhe in pain.


    You mercilessly stabbed her with a sword, and in the end, you killed her, leaving her body to be lost forever.


    How could you do that?


    How could you do that to the child who cherished you more than anyone, how could you?


    I went and grabbed her collar, demanding answers.


    Was she that envious of Aris''s talent?


    Because of that one thing, you, who would ascend to the throne and have everything¡ª


    Did you kill the selfless child who always looked after her older sister more than anyone else?


    Knowing that cruel truth, I couldn''t forgive her.


    Anna didn''t say anything.


    I will never forgive her, not in this lifetime.


    Not her, not our parents who forgave her, not anyone associated with her.


    All of them.


    For the rest of my life.


    Forever.


    A month had passed.


    Even news that seemed to carry an immeasurable amount of sorrow eventually fades with time.


    You can''t be sad forever, can you?


    The bard who had praised Aris''s wisdom, the maid who secretly helped me change Aris''s clothes after kidnapping her, the knights who had watched Aris train¡ªall of them returned to their duties.


    The royal palace slowly regained its vibrancy.


    Everyone was going back to those harmonious days.


    They would finish their daily tasks, relieve their fatigue, and prepare for tomorrow.


    Smiling, they would return to their places of rest.


    But.


    But, I tell you.


    Even now, Aris is still under that cold water, desperately calling out our names one by one.


    Groaning in hunger, she''s longing for someone to find her.


    She''s in pain, she''s asking for help, she''s lonely.


    But, why, how can you?


    In a world where Aris isn''t happy


    ¡ªHow can you all smile?


    Tick, the hands of the clock fell off.


    While everyone else''s clocks were ticking away perfectly, it felt like my time alone had fallen behind, stopping with a thud.


    How can you forget about Aris and move on with your lives, looking towards tomorrow?


    I can''t forget, even if I want to.


    My world has stopped.


    Every day was suffocating.


    Insanely, suffocating.


    Rage would surged within me for no reason, and I wanted to destroy everything in sight.


    This burning emotion, this emotion I wanted to unleash.


    But I couldn''t.


    Because Aris wouldn''t want that.


    Because I, who failed to grab Aris''s hand as she fell, who didn''t notice Aris spending sleepless nights consumed by worry as she investigated the curse alone¡ªdon''t deserve to.


    So in the end, all those arrows were pointed at myself.


    Incompetence, sorrow, regret, depression, misery, grief, loneliness.


    And, murderous intent towards myself.


    "AAAAAAAAAAAAAH¡ª!!!!"


    "...!!"


    The emotions, lost and directionless, became a snowball, growing larger and larger.


    I gathered them all¡ª


    ".....?!"


    "¡ªHa."


    Swoosh, I swung my sword.


    **


    Swish.


    "Princess Remi''s progress is truly remarkable."


    "........"


    Swish.


    "And next year, Princess Remi''s enrollment to the academy has been confirmed."


    "......."


    Swish.


    "Did you sleep well?"


    "........"


    In the quiet room, where only the sound of pages turning could be heard, it was an old man kneeling who broke the silence. He was reporting the day''s events, one by one.


    Fayne, the former knight captain.


    The man who was once Aris'' swordsmanship instructor.


    And now, Remi''s swordsmanship instructor.


    The report continued, but Anna Akaia, who was turning the pages of a book, showed no sign of stopping.


    No, she didn''t even react at all.


    She just silently turned the pages, focused on her own task.


    Despite her cold, almost rude behavior, Fayne continued his report without any sign of concern.


    Because he was used to it.


    Most of his reports were observations of Princess Remi.


    Severed ties.


    Estrangement.


    Who would have thought that the two princesses, whose close relationship no one doubted, would become like this?


    No one could have predicted it.


    Remi treated Anna as if she didn''t exist, trying to hide her betrayal, anger, and murderous intent towards her.


    Anna, consumed by guilt, couldn''t bring herself to face her younger sister.


    Fayne''s reports were an attempt to bridge the gap between them, even if just a little.


    But their relationship was no longer close enough to be mended by such efforts.


    "¡ªFayne."


    "Yes, Princess."


    Thud, the book, which had been flipped through to the end, was closed. Anna''s eyes, sharp enough to cut with a single glare, fixed on him.


    In an even colder voice, she commanded,


    "Leave."


    "......"


    "I have things to do, and I want to focus."


    After Aris''s death, Anna Akaia started devoting herself to her studies, sleeping no more than three hours a day.


    Even during those short hours of sleep, she would often wake up in a cold sweat, mumbling something.


    Everyone worried about her health and advised her to rest, but Anna never listened.


    Perhaps the reason she was so obsessed with her studies was to escape from her dreams.


    Because when she dreamed, the memories would resurface.


    Her blood-stained hands, the screams that pierced through her ears even when she covered them, the pleas for mercy.


    She feared tomorrow.


    Because she had to sleep.


    Seeing the rising sun was too painful.


    Of course, Anna''s academic achievements soared as a result, but Fayne couldn''t bring himself to be happy about it.


    A corpse, a doll.


    Anyone who saw Anna Akaia now would describe her that way.


    A living corpse.


    A doll without a soul.


    The only thing that kept her moving was her younger sister, who was no longer in this world.


    "Are you going to stay any longer?"


    ".....I will obey your command."


    What a tragic affair.


    Creaaaak, Fayne thought as he closed the door, which hadn''t been oiled.


    So, so tragic.


    ***


    * * *

 Chapter 24: Side Story, Helena and Yuta. And Ispa.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 24 ¡µ Chapter 24. Side Story, Helena and Yuta. And Ispa.


    * * *


    **


    For adventurers, it''s the most devastating and hopeless story, yet the most common one.


    Death.


    And, sacrifice.


    In a situation where two should have died.


    One survived.


    And the other ¡ª saved someone else.


    All adventurers carry their own tragedies within them.


    "An adventurer''s life is, in itself, a tragedy."


    **


    Early morning, before the sun had even shown its face.


    But for adventurers who disliked moving under the scorching sun, this was the time when they could be most active.


    "...So many. Way too many."


    A mountain of documents piled up before me.


    The amount of reports I had to write grew along with our ever-increasing achievements.


    Should I be happy about this, or not?


    When we first secured our own sphere of influence within the royal capital, we celebrated with toasts, but if I knew it would be like this, I would have just settled down in a quiet countryside.


    The never-ending feast of papers made me want to curse, but I swallowed the words that had risen to the tip of my tongue along with my black tea.


    Bitter.


    Perhaps it was because of fatigue, but I couldn''t taste the flavor of my favorite black tea. It was just bitter and hot.


    As I stuck out my tongue to cool it down, I sensed the arrival of a nuisance


    ¡ªTata-da-da.


    "....What is it this time¡­ It''s driving me crazy, honestly."


    Noisy footsteps approached from beyond the tightly closed door.


    What news did she bring this time?


    Before, my heart would skip a beat and I''d feel anxious whenever I heard those footsteps, but now I just felt annoyed.


    Bang, whether she was being disrespectful or simply didn''t care, the door swung open with great force, crashing against the wall.


    I saw a scratch on the red wallpaper, which I had spent a fortune decorating, caused by the impact.


    A dent in the wall.


    Ah.


    "¡ªGuild Master Helenaaa!! Urgent news, urgent neeeeeews!?"


    "If those are your last words, so be it."


    What a shame.


    Shing, the swung black sword, flew straight towards my adjutant''s neck. Thanks to the adjutant''s quick reflexes, dropping to her knees, it only managed to cut a few strands of her hair.


    The culprit, who had walked in with a confident stride and a loud voice, fell backward, emphasizing her large boobs, and pointed a finger at me.


    Every time her finger moved, her chest jiggled along with it.


    How rude.


    Should I just chop off her boobs?


    Let''s do it.


    I swung my sword again.


    "Y-Y-Y-You''re trying to kill me, aren¡¯t you!?"


    "Yes."


    "A straightforward answer, just like I expected!?"


    "Can I just chop off one side?"


    "What!?"


    What else could it be, your boobs, of course.


    Seeing how big they''ve grown, I wonder if they''ll regenerate even after I cut them off.


    I raised my sword, but seeing her kneeling and bowing her head, I lowered it.


    I love you!


    Get lost.


    I kicked away my adjutant, who was clinging to me, whining. I had a lot to do, I wanted to sleep, I wanted to cut off that thing, and most importantly, I was annoyed, but I decided to hear her out.


    Her large chest was very displeasing to the eye, but she was at least reliable when it came to getting work done.


    Bissa. A bit of an airhead on the surface, but quick-witted on the inside, for some reason, she''s my adjutant.


    Should I really cut it off?


    She stood there blankly for a moment, then finally started speaking.


    "Uh¡­ Really!? Ah! Right, right! A ''ruin'' has been discovered!"


    "....''A ruin''? Are those scammers trying to pull a fast one again with false information?"


    "No¡ª! This is information directly confirmed by our own search team! You know, the one you sent out, Guild Master!"


    "Hooh."


    A ruin.


    Among dungeons, this was the most highly valued by adventurers.


    The criteria for classifying a dungeon as a ruin varied from guild to guild¡ªsome said it had to be a natural dungeon, others said it had to be untouched, a virgin dungeon that hadn''t been explored for a long time¡ªbut there was one thing everyone agreed on.


    It had to contain many valuable artifacts.


    The difference between ordinary honey and wild honey found deep in the mountains.


    Wild honey is, of course, the ruin.


    Therefore, many guilds offered rewards for information on ruins, but most of them were nonsense or the delusions of fools who mistook caves for ruins.


    Well, it seemed that this time, our guild''s own reliable search team had discovered one.


    Not bad.


    The distribution and ecosystem of local flora and fauna, the geological structure, and finally, the rumors circulating in the area.


    I had sent out a search team to three suspicious areas as a test, combining all those factors, and it seems they hit the jackpot right from the start.


    This is really¡ª


    "Not bad."


    "¡ªThen, shall we prepare right away?"


    "Yes. Tell Vice Guild Master Yuta that we''ll be going together, and prepare accordingly."


    "Yes, sir!"


    Bissa closed the door and left quickly.


    Seeing the clear mark on the wall where the doorknob had hit, I wondered if I should have broken one or two of her fingers, but I decided against it.


    Let''s just get ready.


    I always kept minimal armor on, so it didn''t take more than ten minutes to fully equip myself.


    As I checked my equipment and finally held my helmet in my hand, I felt a tinge of bitterness.


    Now, I could put it on as naturally as getting dressed, but when I first wore armor, I fumbled around for over an hour.


    I didn''t know where to put my arms through, and the order of what to wear first, everything was a mess.


    How many times did I put things on only to take them off again.


    In the end, the connecting leather straps got tangled and twisted, and I remember being unable to move as if I were bound tightly with rope.


    ''Really, you''re hopeless, Helena.''


    ''Ispa!''


    ''There, there. Stay still.''


    Seeing me like that, Ispa smiled and helped me one by one, patiently.


    "Am I, doing well, Ispa?"


    Every time I set out on an expedition, I thought of her, with her charming smile.


    Now that I''ve grown older and having become an experienced adventurer, I realized that there was no one as mysterious as Ispa.


    A mature child, or a childlike adult.


    That was how she was described.


    Even back at the orphanage, she always drew everyone''s attention.


    A kind child who always helped those in need, and waited patiently behind them until they could solve their problems on their own.


    Both I and Yuta, who is now the vice guild master and working alongside me, were drawn to her radiance, so we approached her.


    Ispa wouldn''t know how ecstatic Yuta was the day we successfully recruited her.


    A distant memory, one we could never return to.


    Yuta and I wandered aimlessly after Ispa''s death, but in the end, we decided to join a guild and continue our work as adventurers.


    We wanted to give up countless times, but we couldn''t, not for Ispa, who had sacrificed herself for us.


    Yuta, in particular, had developed a phobia of enclosed spaces and dungeons, to the point where he couldn''t function properly, but he overcame it with his strong will and mental fortitude.


    Ispa would have been so happy to see that.


    After that, he gained recognition for his physical abilities and skills, rising to the high position of vice guild master.


    I was working as a strategist, planning operations, but before I knew it, I had become the guild master.


    Why am I here?


    If it weren''t for that old geezer, that raccoon, I wouldn''t be in this position.


    The guild members said I was the most suitable person for this role, but honestly, I didn''t feel it.


    There''s someone who''s more suited than I am.


    If she were in my place instead of me.


    If I had stopped Yuta back then, when he rushed ahead.


    If I had been the one crushed by the trap¡ª


    "........"


    All my actions were just imitations of her.


    Like a child following in their parents¡¯ footsteps, Yuta and I were just walking along the path of Ispa, who was no longer with us.


    Yuta might disagree, but I considered her to be like our parent.


    She scolded us firmly when we made mistakes.


    And praised us warmly, more than anyone else, when we did well.


    When danger approached, she was the first to stand in front of us¡ª


    "¡ªIspa."


    Swish, a small dagger was drawn with a sharp sound.


    The sword Ispa had gifted me on the day of our first dungeon expedition.


    And the sword that ended her last breath.


    Back when I was young, it was so big and heavy that I could barely hold it with one hand.


    Had I grown this much?


    Both I and Yuta¡ªall of us, had become adults.


    We grew taller, stronger.


    We earned a lot of money, enough to make everyone envious.


    We were old enough to be nagged about getting married.


    The orphanage where we grew up had transformed into a magnificent building, thanks to our donations, its former appearance long gone.


    Everything has changed, Ispa.


    But you, you''re still the same.


    Only she, left behind alone on the path everyone else was walking, remained a child.


    The girl with captivating sky-blue eyes that seemed to embrace everyone, the girl with a charming smile.


    She stopped growing, forever remaining a child in our memories. sea??h th§× ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    That fact was heartbreaking.


    "Right, I have to go. It''s time to go."


    The girl I killed with this sword, piercing her neck.


    I can''t let her death be in vain.


    We worked hard.


    So Ispa, cheer for us.


    For this path we''re walking.


    For us, who have no choice but to leave you behind.


    "Let''s go."


    I opened the door.


    *** (TL Note: This is the author¡¯s afterword btw)


    Helena has grown well.


    She has a bit of¡­ a sadistic streak.


    I wonder who she learned that from... (Looking off into the distance)


    Anyway, she was originally meant to be a minor character, but she grew so well and even became a guild master.


    Aris must be smiling down from heaven.


    Don''t you think so?


    "I''m so, happy."


    She says she''s happy.


    ***


    * * *

 Chapter 25: History Has No

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 25 ¡µ Chapter 25. History Has No "What Ifs," but Here, We Do.


    * * *


    ***


    The final side story.


    History has no room for "what ifs."


    Therefore, the "what if" story that will unfold is not history.


    It''s someone''s dream, an illusion, a hope, or perhaps something else entirely.


    Something ambiguous.


    What if.


    What if the protagonist were reborn not in the world of the original story, but in the world of the prologue.


    This is the story of that "what if."


    ***


    I believe that sorrow is the most fundamental emotion.


    Those who can''t empathize with the joy of others when witnessing their happiness are considered pitiful, but those who can''t feel genuine sorrow when witnessing the pain or failure of others are not considered truly human.


    That''s because everyone''s life is a tragedy, not a comedy.


    Except for a very few exceptions, everyone carries their own sorrows and worries.


    And those exceptions, too, are pitiful in their inability to experience sorrow and worry.


    Because everyone is pitiful, they reject those who don''t understand them.


    That''s why, among all emotions, I consider sorrow to be the most profound.


    There is no ground to stand on built upon success.


    Only failure can become the steps that lead one to a higher level.


    Therefore.


    I just wanted to be their stepping stone.


    I don''t want to be the one holding them back...!!


    "¡ªIspa."


    "...Yuta, sir"


    Squeeze, my hand, gripped tightly, gradually turned white.


    I tried my best to break free, but I, still in a child''s body, couldn''t overcome his grown-up strength.


    It felt like my wrist was about to shatter from the pain, but I wasn''t in a position to care about its condition.


    I have to escape.


    I have to get away from these children...


    "Where are you going again?"


    "....!!"


    It was a long struggle.


    In the end, I couldn''t free my wrist.


    **


    Thud, I was thrown onto the bed, I had no time to register the slightly hard texture of the mattress before I started scanning my surroundings.


    In the spacious room, large enough to accommodate several people, there wasn''t a single window in sight.


    The only exit was the door, blocked by the person who had dragged me here.


    Click, something unknown was fastened to the door.


    "....Yuta."


    "Ispa, right? No, it can''t be anyone else."


    The windowless room was pitch black. The only source of light, a candle, flickered and died as Yuta strode towards me, the wind from his movement extinguishing the flame.


    Without any other source of light, the room was enveloped in pure darkness, rendering everything invisible.


    Determined to escape somehow, I tried to crawl across the bed, moving to his blind spot.


    But his hand grabbed me first.


    "Those eyes. That hair. That smile. I could never forget them, Ispa."


    "....I''m¡ª"


    "¡ªI won''t hear any objections."


    No matter how much I had trained and honed my skills over countless years, the one thing I had learned was that the logic of inherent strength could never be overturned, no matter what I did.


    "At first, I thought I was seeing things."


    "You''re mistaken."


    His left hand grabbed my right hand.


    "But, after touching you, I could feel it for sure."


    "I''m not, that, person, I''m, not."


    His right hand grabbed my left hand.


    "Ispa. You''re alive."


    "I don''t know, that person."


    "¡ªYou''re lying."


    His legs wrapped around my waist like a snake.


    My body was completely immobilized, escape was impossible.


    Was it a mistake to think that I could just watch them from afar, since having been reborn in the same world with the same appearances?


    Or was it a mistake to assume that my presence in their lives wasn''t that significant?


    Hearing that they had become famous as the guild master and vice guild master, seeing their remarkable growth, I couldn''t help but smile as they passed by. Was that a mistake?


    I was caught by Yuta, who had recognized me.


    "Ispa. Ispa. Ispa...."


    "Ugh... Keuuk... Let me go. If it gets out that the vice guild master of the Silver Shadow Guild did this...!"


    "¡ªWell, what are you going to do about it?"


    "Ah¡ª!?"


    Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through my shoulder.


    His hands and legs bound me, and the pitch-black darkness completely obscured my vision, so I didn''t know what had attacked me.


    An unpleasant sensation, strength drained from my body, and rational thought became difficult.


    What?


    What just, happened?


    His breathing echoed loudly in my ears.


    "By the way, Ispa, you haven''t changed at all."


    "Ugh, haa, haaah, wh-what¡­!?"


    "Your hair, your height, your chest, your eyes, your scent, everything is exactly the same as before."


    Did he notice my weakened resistance?


    He released his grip on my body and slowly started caressing my face.


    Little by little, his hands moved from top to bottom, exploring every inch of my body. When he reached my legs, his touch became even more passionate, as if he was trying to fully comprehend their existence.


    "....!!"


    "Is this¡­ a dream?"


    His grown-up body, past twenty, embraced my still-childlike body with overwhelming force.


    Suffocated by the tight embrace, I was helpless to resist.


    This is¡­ dangerous¡­!


    "Even if it''s a dream, it would be nice. Lately, you haven''t been appearing in my dreams."


    "Come to¡­.your senses¡­!"


    "I''m more sane than ever right now. Yes, so rational. Like this."


    "¡ª!!!!!"


    The intense pain from before returned.


    I''m not supposed to feel pain easily, so why wasn''t this pain subsiding?


    It hurts. Stop it. Let go.


    "¡ªKUh, haa¡­ haa¡­"


    "Ispa, why did you do that?" S§×arch* The N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Thud.


    I mustered my last ounce of strength and broke free from his embrace, but I couldn''t even take a few steps before my ankle was caught.


    Dragged back to him, I saw his sapphire-blue eyes, shining brightly in the darkness.


    The eyes I had praised, saying they were like jewels.


    Now, they were shining in the darkness, staring at me.


    "I''m... not... Ispa¡­!"


    "......."


    "I... don''t understand¡­ what the vice guild master¡­ is talking about¡­!!"


    "......"


    Even though I was reborn, I didn''t want to appear before them.


    Who cares about the steps they''ve already climbed?


    Stairs silently help others ascend.


    They had already grown enough and left behind achievements more remarkable than anyone else''s. I would be content if just one letter of my name was written at the end of that.


    Stairs should be a tool for their users, not a burden.


    "So¡ª!"


    So.


    "¡ªAre you done talking, Ispa?"


    ".....!!"


    It seems my words never reached his ears from the beginning.


    A sharp pain shot through my ankle, gripped tightly in his hand. It felt like a hot iron was searing my flesh.


    "Hyaaaaaah¡ª!!?"


    "Why, you, why did you, die before my eyes because of my mistake, why are you here now, alive?"


    In the darkness, I was dragged backwards with great force. My small hands couldn''t even grip the floor to resist.


    My body.


    Gradually.


    Backwards.


    "Let¡­go¡­!"


    "Everything is so confusing. This might be a dream. Maybe I''ve finally gone mad."


    "Re¡­ally¡ª!!?"


    A sharp pain, as if my flesh was being ripped apart, shot through my other ankle.


    All I could do was cover my mouth with both hands, praying that Yuta''s reputation wouldn''t be tarnished, that my screams wouldn''t escape this room.


    "But it''s okay."


    "Haa... Huhp¡­!"


    "¡ªBecause, you''re here."


    The weight of his body pressed down on me.


    He collapsed on top of me, engulfing me.


    Ah, where did it all go wrong?


    Because I wanted to see them grow up, to see their beautiful, mature selves?


    Because I overlooked the fact that they still hadn''t let go of me?


    I don''t know.


    I heard his voice, close to my ear.


    "So, until this dream ends."


    "Haa... Haa..."


    In the end, I had no choice but to accept it.


    "¡ªStay with me."


    That this life would have to be used to indulge his whims.


    A gift for him, who had grown so well.


    I have no choice but to do so.


    **


    Click, I heard the door closing softly.


    Careful consideration to avoid waking me from my sleep.


    But I had actually been awake for a while, only pretending to sleep because I had nothing else to do, so I quickly got up.


    Well, his consideration was so heartwarming that I felt good.


    As usual, I slowly crawled out of bed and went to greet the visitor.


    The metal chains on my neck and legs clinked as I approached the homeowner.


    "Welcome back, Yuta?"


    "¡ªYes, Ispa."


    Yuta looked at me with joy, then lifted me like a pet dog, placing his hand under my armpits.


    I gave him a resigned look and nuzzled my face against his cheek.


    I didn''t know where it all went wrong.


    But, this life is useless anyway.


    I decided to use it for my childhood friend, who had done so well on his own.


    That was all.


    *** (Author¡¯s Afterword)


    This is the end of the side stories.


    I might come up with more side stories when I start writing part 2.


    This is Ispa''s pet route, where she doesn''t care much for her own life.


    No one knows what happened to her in the darkness.


    Eyes can only see because of light.


    In a place devoid of light, no one knows what happened.


    Not even the author.


    * * *

 Chapter 26: Breaking the Shell.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 26 ¡µ Chapter 26. Breaking the Shell.


    * * *


    **


    A secret refers to the act of concealing one''s ''unacceptable'' tastes or behaviors from others.


    It could be a past act of recklessness or foolishness, an embarrassing shared memory between two people, or the hidden location of a cherished possession.


    But usually, it''s the ''Karma Mirror'' (??), which lists their flaws and sins, that becomes the object of concealment. Their desperate attempts to resist and cover the mirror might seem comical to some. (TL Note: The Karma Mirror is a mythical object from Buddhism that reflects a person''s past deeds/sins.)


    They plead.


    Don''t laugh at me.


    Don''t look at me with those eyes.


    Why, is everyone distancing themselves from me?


    Unable to bear the judgmental gazes of those who were once close to them, they desperately try to hide their flaws, making sure no one ever finds out.


    Because they''re afraid.


    Afraid of being abandoned.


    A secret is born from the heart that cherishes others.


    But no matter how much they try to hide it, the places to hide become increasingly limited. They hide and hide, and in the end, the only place left is their own heart.


    ¡ªNo matter where they hide it, in a place where no one can find it, they can''t escape from the secret itself.


    How can this not be pitiful.


    The heart that cherishes others becomes a tool that harms oneself.


    But even those fools who desperately try to hide their secrets have a small wish they want to fulfill.


    A tiny desire they don''t even realize they have.


    ''If only there was someone I could share my secret with.''


    A precious person who would share their burdens, their sins and flaws, and face them together.


    A neighbor who wouldn''t bat an eye even after learning their embarrassing secret, treating them the same as always.


    Yes.


    They just need a companion who will stay by their side until the very end.


    "This is all for Big Sis Elli, you know?"


    So I decided to explore her secret.


    Because, deep down, she must want it too.


    Right, Big Sis?


    **


    The world continues to spin peacefully, indifferent to their circumstances, even if a frog devours a passing fly, an ant returning home gets swept away by water, or a baby sparrow that can''t fly yet falls from the roof.


    Tap.


    "¡ªAlice? Where are you?"


    "Ah, Big Sis Elli! I''m here!"


    I was sitting by the window, and turned my head at the sound of my name being called from behind.


    It was Elli, now an inseparable part of my life.


    She approached me and gently started stroking my hair.


    "You''re here again. I told you the window sill could be dangerous..."


    "Hehe... But it''s not dangerous at all when Big Sis Elli is here!"


    "...Don''t rely on me so much."


    The window seat, bathed in warm sunlight, was my favorite spot.


    The window sill, in particular, was wide and rounded, not sharp-edged, so I could comfortably sit there, leaning my back against it.


    Ever since my wounds had mostly healed, and I could move freely, this had become my favorite place.


    My eyes were currently unable to see, my sense of touch was dull as if I were wearing a full-body rubber suit, and I could barely smell anything except for strong spices and the fishy smell of blood, so this was the only amusement I could enjoy.


    The warmth of the sunlight, the gentle breeze, every sound and temperature that brushed past my body felt pleasant.


    Well, my eyes had healed a long time ago, she''s just preventing me from seeing.


    Before, when Elli told me that my body was almost fully recovered, I asked if I could take off the bandages covering my eyes.


    ''Hmm? Why? Because I want to see Big Sis Elli''s face!''


    ''.......''


    What did Big Sis Elli say back then?


    Ah, right.


    Yes, she said,


    ''Not yet.''


    The Elli who always spoke to me politely, concerned for my well-being, was gone. There was only a precarious person, her voice trembling as if she were on the verge of breaking, her words laced with a deep sigh.


    She added that it wasn''t time for me to remove them yet. She told me not to touch them carelessly until she removed them herself.


    Never.


    No matter what.


    She looked so eerie, so scary¡ªand so pitiful.


    A kind, innocent child who knew nothing about medical knowledge and couldn''t even fathom suspecting another person could only believe that the words of her beloved older sister, whom she trusted more than anyone else, were true.


    So I obediently followed her words.


    Because I love Big Sis.


    But Elli, I''ve told you countless times, there''s no paradise in the place you run to.


    In the end, unless you plan to crush my eyes with your own hands and blind me for life¡ª


    Someday, I will remove the veil covering my eyes and take you into them.


    Does Big Sis realize that?


    "Haaa... So refreshing..."


    "Lunch is ready, shall we go?"


    "Yes! Carry me, Big Sis~"


    "....As you wish, Alice."


    Hug, I wrapped my arms around Elli''s approaching body.


    Her body was cool and refreshing, the perfect temperature to soothe my skin, heated by the sunlight.


    She spoke as if I were a troublesome child, but she couldn''t have disliked it that much, as she put her hand under my armpits and lifted me.


    Wah wah, I''m a baby.


    "I''m not¡­ very good at this..."


    "I like it the most when Big Sis carries me!"


    "I''ll carry you forever."


    I love it!


    Elli held me tightly, so I wouldn''t fall, and slowly started walking towards the kitchen.


    Swish, swish, she awkwardly stroked my head as she carried me.


    In return, I gave her a small kiss on the neck.


    Her steps faltered for a moment, and her body flushed hot, it was so cute.


    "Heehee~"


    "Honestly... You''re too playful, Alice."


    Even though I couldn''t see now, the layout of the house was clearly imprinted in my mind. Even as I was being carried, I could tell exactly where we were in the house.


    Soon, the humid air, a telltale sign of the kitchen, reached me, and I confirmed that we had arrived in the kitchen, just as I had imagined.


    Today''s menu was pumpkin soup, the dish I said I wanted to eat this morning.


    I sat down and, with familiar movements, received a spoon and started eating.


    One spoonful, two spoonfuls.


    "It''s sweet~!"


    "There''s plenty left, so please don''t hesitate to ask for more if you want."


    "Okay, okay!"


    Slurp, the warm, creamy liquid entered my mouth. I couldn''t taste or smell it properly, but the hot temperature that stimulated my tongue and the smooth, velvety texture told me it was well-cooked.


    A soup simmered slowly, just for me.


    Sensing her care, my heart felt warm and fuzzy.


    It had been almost six months since our relationship began.


    A little over four months since the day Elli gave me a name.


    A long time, long enough for the wounds on my stomach to start healing, for the hole in my palm to almost close up.


    Long enough for the wound on my eye, caused by hitting a rock, to completely heal.


    ¡ªAnd yet, I still couldn''t remove the bandages covering my eyes.


    Elli was hiding something.


    I could only guess, but it must be something related to her true nature.


    The scent of blood that emanated from her body whenever she returned from her hunts in the early hours of the morning, intensifying every few days.


    My wounds healing at an abnormal speed because of her strange treatment.


    Her insistence on keeping my eyes covered, preventing me from seeing her.


    Really, Big Sis, you''re terrible at hiding things.


    Well, that naive side of you is what I like about you, though.


    Slurp.


    The bowl of soup was emptied clean.


    **


    To be honest, I didn''t want to go this far.


    At first, I also wanted to wait patiently until Elli revealed her secret. I was willing to accept all of her, no matter what.


    Even if she wanted something, no matter what it was.


    If she wanted my life, I was willing to give it to her.


    I believed that true growth came from taking a step forward like that, especially since Elli seemed to be severely lacking of experience when it came to human relationships.


    But she couldn''t do it.


    She just kept pushing back the moment of truth, seemingly content with this false peace.


    Even though Elli seemed to be enjoying each day, I felt sorry for her.


    A sandcastle that would crumble at the slightest touch.


    Yes, it can''t be helped. Growth isn''t something you can easily achieve.


    Secrets.


    They''re often not a big deal. What might seem like a shameful secret, worth sacrificing one''s life for, could be just an ordinary, everyday occurrence for the other person.


    Just let it all out, once and for all.


    Be prepared to be judged, open your mouth wide.


    Then, with a sense of relief, you''ll look back at your past self and wonder why you had been agonizing over such a trivial matter.


    At the same time, you''ll realize something.


    That what seemed like an insurmountable obstacle separating the two of you was actually a bridge that would strengthen your bond.


    So, Elli.


    You have to be prepared, you have to face it head-on.


    Just like in Hermann Hesse''s novel, you have to break out of your shell and fly into the world! (TL Note: The novel being referred to here is Demian.)


    "¡ªSleep well, Alice."


    But was it because she was too fragile?


    No matter how long I waited, even after six months had passed, she showed no sign of taking action.


    Another day had passed, and another would follow.


    This false peace seemed to have no end in sight.


    "Yes! You should sleep well too, Big Sis Elli!" S~ea??h the N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    "...Of course."


    Tick-tock, time continues to flow.


    If a chick doesn''t break out of its shell in time, it will eventually die. (TL Note: Another quote from Hermann Hesse''s novel)


    Suffocating, struggling.


    But Elli couldn''t even tap on the shell, she just wanted to enjoy the comfortable time inside. Oblivious to the fact that she was suffocating.


    If this continued, her radiance would fade.


    I couldn''t let this beautiful flower wither away without ever blooming.


    I couldn''t let this precious gemstone, still encased in its rough exterior, turn into graphite and crumble without ever being discovered.


    This had to be stopped.


    And that''s what I''m best at.


    "Heeheehee."


    Crack.


    The chick that can''t break its shell.


    ¡ªIf that''s the case, I''ll just have to break the shell for it from the outside.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 27: Making Preparations.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 27 ¡µ Chapter 27. Making Preparations.


    * * *


    Today''s chapter has a small afterword.


    **


    The pitiful sound of raindrops tapping against the window.


    I extended one hand towards the open window, enjoying the sensation.


    Another raindrop landed on the back of my hand, already soaked.


    My hand, with no time to dry, was spending an endless amount of time amidst the relentless downpour.


    Drip, drip. I heard the sound.


    The raindrops, tapping against the window at regular intervals, had a mesmerizing charm. A gift from the heavens, calming the listener''s heart, allowing them to look deep within themselves.


    And a solace for those who walk with their heads down, unable to perceive the world beyond their immediate surroundings, a world that those trapped in the daily grind couldn''t comprehend.


    "....Refreshing."


    Drip. Drip. Drip.


    The falling raindrops were, naturally, chillingly cold.


    On days like this, when the rain poured, I wanted to cast aside my umbrella and freely roam the streets, embracing the elements.


    It would be so much fun to lie down in a puddle and gaze up at the sky.


    But I, who wasn''t even allowed to freely step outside the house, could only pathetically extend my hand out the window, trapped inside.


    A small cage.


    "Ugh..."


    Fidget, fidget.


    I mindlessly toyed with the innocent bandage covering my eyes.


    "I want to see¡­ Big Sis Elli''s face¡­"


    The bandage, tied tightly around my eyes, was as unyielding as the will of the person who tied it, making it difficult to remove.


    Does she really have no intention of removing this bandage?


    Six months.


    A short time, yet a long time.


    The time Elli has spent living in this false reality.


    Just like I, running from Anna, eventually reached a cliff, Big Sis Elli will also reach her limit someday.


    Or perhaps, she''s already there.


    I was a little disappointed that she wasn''t telling me her secret, but in a way, it also meant that she cared about me that much, so I couldn''t help but feel happy.


    "Heehee."


    I touched my chest with my left hand, which had recently regained its mobility.


    Thump, thump, I felt a small beat.


    My heart was beating.


    If she thought of me as just another weed, growing everywhere, there would be no reason to hide it, right?


    The person you least want to know your secret is the one you love the most.


    The mere fact that someone with a secret they don''t want me to know exists is enough to make me feel overjoyed.


    "But time is running out¡­ Big Sis¡­"


    However, even that is coming to an end.


    I really wanted to wait until the day she gathered her courage, but Elli''s lies were too clumsy.


    If it were anyone else but me, her secret would have already been exposed, and our relationship would have crumbled.


    It would be easier for her to blind me and keep me by her side than to suffer from the constant fear of her lies being discovered.


    If Big Sis Elli decided to keep me by her side forever, I was willing to accept everything, but unfortunately, she wasn''t strong enough to make such a cruel decision.


    It''s a real shame.


    "¡ªBecause it''s time to be born."


    Of course, I know that only after smashing, breaking, and shattering the shell with its own head can a chick truly become a hawk that rules the sky.


    But a chick that can''t break its shell, forever struggling, will eventually die.


    It''s too pitiful to call it just the law of nature.


    To end a once-in-a-lifetime life without even spreading its wings.


    ¡ªSo, I have no choice but to help, right?


    "The raindrops, drip, drip¡ª"


    Now then, let''s think.


    About a plan to break Big Sis Elli''s shell.


    Drip, drip.


    Drip, drip.


    I brought my right hand back inside from the window.


    My right hand, which had been exposed to the falling raindrops and the harsh wind for over an hour, was as cold as ice.


    For a moment, I was suddenly curious about the taste of raindrops, so I licked it as a test, but it didn''t have any particular taste.


    Only after licking it did I remember. I can''t taste things properly.


    Ugh¡­


    Feeling dejected, like I had been heartbroken, I tucked my stiff hand between my legs. I felt a tingling sensation as warmth returned to it.


    The posture of bringing my legs together and tucking my hand between them was strangely comforting and secure.


    "Warm..."


    Burying my head in my knees, I started planning.


    Drip, drip, the rain and wind showed no signs of stopping, only intensifying.


    A clear sound, one I could listen to forever.


    "....Wheeee~"


    To be honest, it''s a simple task.


    All I have to do is remove the bandage in front of her and see Elli''s true form.


    That alone would shatter the false reality she had painstakingly built, and time, which had stopped, would start flowing again.


    But that would be, deception.


    A subject of ridicule, not even worthy of being called a comedy.


    Taking off the bandage while we''re having a meal, like always? It might provide a momentary shock to the audience, but there''s no demand for such a bland drama.


    A work devoid of justification, plausibility, a rising atmosphere, the protagonist''s struggles and hardships, or even a single element that evokes emotions.


    Such a work has no reason to exist.


    Tap, tap, thud.


    "....Drip¡­ drip¡­ drip."


    Aristotle once said.


    Within the plot of a tragedy, there should be no illogical elements, no matter how small, and even in inevitable cases, the ending should be brought about by external factors of the tragedy.


    There should be no deus ex machina.


    No beings with absolute power, no characters who awaken their powers by chance.


    Only people.


    It should be imbued with the life of a person with only a single life, a dazzlingly bright human being.


    This is for Big Sis Elli,


    A story for her, and her alone.


    That''s why all I could think about was when, where, how, and what I should do to appear before her in the most dramatic way possible.


    No matter how talented the actors, a story depicting ordinary life wouldn''t resonate with anyone.


    A play that fails to captivate the audience is a drain on their energy.


    Yes.


    Direction is needed.


    I considered every element I could artificially control, from acting to setting, props, expressions, and movements.


    I will present the best, once-in-a-lifetime event, one that will never come again to Big Sis Elli, who is both the protagonist and audience of this play, to help her move forward.


    So, Big Sis Elli.


    I''ll work hard.


    I''ll create the best performance for you.


    "¡ªLive dangerously. Build your city on the slopes of Vesuvius." (TL Note: This is a quote from Friedrich Nietzsche)


    Please accept my life, a life which has no reason to exist.


    **


    There was something called an unwritten rule.


    It referred to rules that were mutually understood and followed without needing to be explicitly stated.


    In my case, it would be, ''Don''t remove the bandage covering your eyes''.


    But does Big Sis know? That telling a child not to do something only makes them want to do it even more.


    If you tell someone not to think about a pink elephant, they can''t help but think about a pink elephant.


    Because the frame of ''elephant'' is already deeply embedded in their mind.


    She had always told me, obsessively,


    ''Don''t remove the bandage''.


    So, even if I, who have been patiently enduring, remove the bandage, it can''t be helped.


    Even if I remove the bandage and wander around looking for Big Sis, who disappeared somewhere, it can''t be helped.


    If a child who only has her caretaker, her older sister, to rely on wakes up in the middle of the night and finds her gone, she has no choice but to look for her, right?


    A small temptation, to remove the bandage.


    A child easily falls for it.


    Rather, I''m quite proud of myself for enduring this long.


    Right?


    "...Tap, tap, tap¡­ tap, tap, tap¡­"


    Three or four times a week.


    Elli would come into my room at night to check if I was sleeping soundly.


    And then, she would disappear.


    I didn''t know where she went. In the first place, I didn''t know anything about the surrounding landscape or geography of this area.


    But one thing was certain, she, who never left my side for even a minute except when preparing meals, was going out of the house for hours while I was asleep.


    And the next morning, the smell of blood would be so strong on her body that even I could smell it.


    When I asked, she said she went hunting.


    Really, what kind of animal could she be hunting to have such a strong scent?


    Elli would clam up after saying that, and I knew she didn''t want to talk about it.


    "...Pouring."


    As if a hole had been torn in the sky, the rain intensified.


    If rain falls because a hole opens in the sky, does that mean there''s a blue sea spread out above?


    That would be, really fun.


    In the end, with the rain starting to come inside the room, I had no choice but to close the window.


    The raindrops beat against the closed window.


    I listened intently, and along with the tapping sound, I felt the tempo of the song created by the collision of raindrops and glass accelerate.


    I tapped on the glass with my finger in response.


    Tap, tap, it was music to my ears.


    Tap, tap-tap, tap.


    The duet continued until my fingers stopped.


    Not yet, not yet.


    A little more, a little more perfectly.


    ¡ªTap!


    "........"


    For the past two days, Elli hadn''t gone out at dawn.


    Tomorrow, or at the latest, the day after tomorrow, she would go out.


    Even if she didn''t, she would still come in to check if I was sleeping soundly before leaving.


    If I paid attention to that, there was no way I would miss her movements.


    After Elli confirmed that I was asleep and left the house.


    ¡ªI would remove the bandage and follow her.


    The truth that Elli didn''t want me to know, more than anything else.


    I would reveal it all, on stage.


    What kind of face¡­ will Big Sis Elli make?


    What will she do to me?


    "Tap, tap..."


    Exciting.


    This is so much fun.


    But for now, let''s enjoy the sound of the rain.


    Quietly....


    "........"


    ** S§×ar?h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    * * *

 Chapter 28

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 28 ¡µ Chapter 28. Encounter.


    * * *


    **


    The sun, denied even a glimpse of its own reflection in the dark clouds that blanketed the sky, hid its face beyond the horizon.


    Soon, the heavy downpour, like a sudden squall, ceased, and darkness settled upon the dense forest as the cacophony of insects filled the air.


    Chirp, chirp, chirp.


    Insects of unknown species, exchanging calls.


    ¡ªSnore, snore.


    ".....Mmm..."


    Inside a house, there was a child who had traveled to dreamland, accompanied by those sounds.


    The bandages covering her eyes and the horrific scars peeking through the gaps in her loose clothing were evidence of the extraordinary life she had lived.


    Perhaps even in her dreams, she was longing for affection. The child, hugging the fluffy rolled up blanket with her whole body, looked incredibly happy.


    A sight that would make anyone smile.


    ".........."


    And watching her from a narrow gap, was a pair of eyes.


    ¡ªCreak.


    ".........."


    ".....Hnn..."


    The door slowly opened, and two points of light flickered through the widening gap.


    In the pitch-black darkness, where even the faint moonlight couldn''t penetrate, a pair of red eyes gazed upon the child, deeply asleep, oblivious to the world.


    Gazing from a distance, afraid to approach.


    The vertically slit pupils, like those of a predator, might be mistaken for the eyes of a beast stalking its prey, but anyone who saw them up close wouldn''t think so.


    Because those red eyes were filled with undeniable affection for the child.


    "........."


    "...Huaamh...."


    The owner of the eyes, Saelli, stood there for a long time, watching the child sleeping peacefully.


    As if determined to never forget that serene expression.


    Her small smile held that wish.


    "....Sweet dreams."


    "....Mmm......"


    "Ah...."


    She muttered in a low voice, inaudible to the child. As if in response, the child let out a cute mumble in her sleep.


    Saelli seemed surprised for a moment and looked at Alice.


    "....Haha.."


    Her lips curved into a small smile as she watched the child mumbling in her sleep.


    The child, deeply asleep, seemed unlikely to wake up anytime soon.


    Thinking that there wouldn''t be any problems for the next few hours, Saelli quietly left the room, careful not to disturb the child''s sleep.


    Click, the door was locked.


    Faint footsteps, imperceptible to ordinary people, gradually faded away from the room.


    Shuffle, shuffle.


    Quietly, very quietly.


    That way.


    Completely.


    Disappearing¡ª


    ¡ªTwitch.


    "..........."


    The child''s finger twitched.


    In the darkness, unseen by anyone, the child smiled softly.


    Heehee.


    A stifled giggle.


    It echoed softly beneath the silent night sky.


    **


    It was a small, selfish desire.


    To prepare a meal for someone, to eat together around a table.


    To hold hands under the warm sunlight, surrounded by the sweet scent of flowers.


    The moment I realized that sleep wasn''t just the end of a tiring day, but a prelude to an exciting and anticipated tomorrow, I had to admit it.


    That I could never go back to those days.


    "¡ªKwee, kweee!!"


    "......."


    Someone who has lived in darkness their whole life doesn''t know what darkness is.


    Likewise, a monster who has always lived in loneliness couldn''t comprehend its own loneliness. It gradually became accustomed to the scorn and persecution.


    Because that was all it knew.


    Because that was its entire life.


    ¡ªBut unfortunately, the monster had fallen in love.


    "Kweek!! Kweee, kweeee!"


    ".....Ah, yes."


    One day. Just one day.


    I''ll tell her everything tomorrow.


    That the one who saved her wasn''t a kind and trustworthy older sister figure.


    But a monster with eerie red eyes, who devoured people and reveled in it, who had been secretly licking her wounds and sucking her blood.


    I planned to remove the bandage I had forced upon her and tell her.


    The truth I had been hiding.


    I was going to tell Alice¡ª


    ''.....Alice¡ª''


    ''Big Sis Elli!! Look!! I worked hard to make this¡ª!''


    ''.......''


    ''¡­ I-Is it¡­ messy¡­?''


    I was going to¡ª


    ''Heehee....''


    ''Aren''t you hot?''


    ''I am, but¡­ I like this better!''


    ¡­I was prepared¡ª


    ''¡ªYou can¡¯t leave the bell peppers.''


    ''¡­ E-Eh¡­ !?''


    ''....I can see everything.''


    ''Uh¡­ Uuu¡­''


    .........The truth


    ''¡ªBig Sis Elli, I love you!!''


    ''......!!!''


    I was, going to.


    But, I didn¡¯t want to betray Alice.


    The thought of her looking at me with fear in her eyes was too terrifying.


    I wanted to protect this short, happy time, built on a fragile glass castle, from being shattered.


    I''ll tell her tomorrow.


    No, next week.


    When this month ends.


    When spring passes and the flowers wither, I''ll tell her everything¡ª


    ¡­


    A day passed, a week passed, a month passed ¡ªand before I knew it, six months had gone by since Alice came to live with me.


    But the bandage covering her eyes, which I changed every morning, remained in place for six months.


    Tightly, it was firmly tied over her eyes, showing no sign of loosening.


    I had missed my chance.


    Would it have been different if I had revealed everything to her in the beginning, when we barely knew each other?


    If I had confessed everything, prepared to be abandoned, would things have been different?


    These what-if¡¯s that haunted me every evening as I tried to sleep.


    If this had happened, if that had happened.


    If only I had done this, if only I hadn''t done that.


    At this time, at that time, this time around.


    The what-if¡¯s kept coming, and the dissonance between the happy illusion and the harsh reality tormented me until late into the dawn.


    No, maybe I should have told her when I was still agonizing over it.


    Haha.


    Hahaha...


    Thud!


    "Haa..."


    "Kwee¡­ kweee¡­ kwuu¡­"


    But, it''s too late now.


    It all started with a small act, my attempt to hide my true nature.


    Afraid of that lie being exposed, another lie was added.


    And another, and another.


    Like a snowball, the lies grew larger and larger.


    Roll, roll, the snowball rolled. It rolled down a snow-covered mountain.


    A small snowball, tightly packed, the size of a small fist.


    As it rolled, the small fist became a head, the head becomes a body, the body becomes a person, the person becomes a tree, the tree becomes a forest, and the forest, eventually, became a mountain.


    The small lies became flesh and blood, and before I knew it, the lies had transformed into an avalanche, ready to sweep everything away.


    Now, there''s no turning back.


    Really.


    Where, did it all go wrong?


    ¡ªDrag.


    ¡°¡­Kwee¡­ eee¡­¡±


    ¡°¡­Haa¡­ haha¡­¡±


    I see their empty eyes, their life slowly fading.


    Even so, for its own life, or perhaps for something else, the boar, clinging to the fading embers of life, tried to move away from me.


    Such a meaningless act, nothing more than a momentary struggle.


    My reflection appeared in its eyes, small flames of will flickering within them.


    In those terrified eyes, a monster is reflected.


    A woman, her entire body soaked in blood, holding a crimson lump of flesh, still faintly pulsing, its identity hard to discern.


    Rip, I tore a piece of meat from the lump in my hand with my teeth, stretching it long.


    Pop, a fresh sound, like juice splattering, can be heard. Sear?h the N??eFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    In the boar''s eyes, now turning white, a figure appeared, its face covered in blood that splattered from the meat.


    Ah.


    Yes, maybe it was wrong from the beginning.


    "¡ªWas I, wrong?"


    "........"


    The carcass grew cold and stiff.


    I knew that the boar, let alone an already dead carcass, couldn''t answer.


    Even so, I couldn''t help but ask. I had to ask.


    "Was I, wrong?"


    "......."


    "Are you trying to say that once again, I, my very existence, is the problem¡ª!!!"


    Three days. It had been three days.


    That was how long I had endured this filthy, horrible, ugly, repulsive, and hideous act.


    The urge, which I used to be able to suppress for over a month, was returning more frequently.


    I could still hold on for over a week, but ever since I stopped taking Alice''s blood, the interval had shortened rapidly, and now it was difficult to even go a day without.


    Of course, I tried to endure it at first.


    For the sake of the child sleeping soundly beside me, I tried my best.


    I scratched my throat, I broke my fingers, and I even considered pulling out all my teeth.


    But, I failed.


    My esophagus burned as if I had swallowed boiling oil, and my lungs felt like they were filled with sand.


    It''s so painful.


    It hurts.


    It was as if the pain was reminding me that I wasn''t human.


    Even in the humid, early morning air, my mouth was parched like a desert, craving something to quench this burning thirst.


    Blood and flesh.


    A small life.


    ¡ªAlice.


    "Puha, hahaha... HAHAHAHA!"


    "........"


    "Haha... Haha... Hahaha...."


    I laughed.


    Bent over, squeezing the lump of meat in my hand, I laughed.


    Splatter, blood splattered everywhere.


    Faced with this miserable reality, I couldn''t help but laugh.


    ¡ªYes, my body craved Alice.


    A sweetness that felt like it would melt my brain, a freshness that cleansed everything in my mouth.


    That devilish temptation, a memory I couldn''t shake off.


    As if mocking my last vow, my choice to prove that I wasn''t raising the child like livestock, my body craved the child''s flesh and blood.


    Yes, this is my punishment.


    A punishment for the evil monster, worse than any other, who had captured a pure and innocent canary, bound her entire body, and imprisoned her in a small cage.


    "Ha... Haha......"


    "......"


    As the sun set and countless stars appeared in the night sky, in the place where more lives than the number of those stars awaken and stir.


    That bustling place, was now filled only with the sound of my laughter.


    The rustling bushes were deathly silent.


    Even the animals, even the insects, had covered their mouths.


    Afraid of making a sound, afraid of being discovered by me, they desperately moved away.


    Fear.


    "¡ªHahaha... HAHAHAHA!!"


    Are you, all, afraid of me too?


    Yes, you should be.


    That fact was so natural, so sickening that I want to vomit, so amusing that I found it hilarious, so infuriating that I wanted to kill them all, so much so that


    I had to laugh.


    Lost in a trance, I sneered at the lifeless carcasses, unable to answer.


    I laughed, and laughed again.


    "¡ªBig,sis?"


    "¡ªHuh?"


    Creak.


    My head, turned.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 29: Punishment.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 29 ¡µ Chapter 29. Punishment.


    * * *


    **


    Just like a ball thrown into the sky eventually falls back down.


    Just like a life born amidst cheers slowly fades away in silence.


    The lie, built upon sand, its foundation shaky from the start, was destined to crumble.


    Yes.


    A betrayal that would be exposed someday.


    A lie that would be revealed someday.


    Everything was predetermined from the beginning.


    "...Big¡­sis?"


    "......."


    "Big Sis Elli, are you there?"


    Rustle, I see the child approaching, parting the thick undergrowth with her small, delicate hands.


    Is this an illusion created by my anxiety?


    But it''s too real to be a dream, too vivid to be an illusion, every sound, every breath, is just like the child I know.


    I had no choice but to accept it.


    That this was reality, a reality more miserable than any other.


    "Are you¡­ there, Big Sis?"


    "......."


    Her snow-white skin was covered in red, inflamed scratches from the rough vegetation.


    One step, another step, the child approached, enduring the pain and sting.


    Under the moonlight.


    I see her eyes, shimmering beautifully, reflecting the soft moonlight like embedded jewels, a sight I had never seen before.


    The sins I had committed, built upon deception and betrayal.


    They were now laid bare.


    Watching her approach, I struggled to swallow the question that threatened to burst from my lips.


    ¡ªWhy are you here, Alice?


    The cruel answer to that question.


    Was walking towards me.


    **


    The moment I spotted the child, I crouched down, hiding myself in the darkness behind the trees, worried that my body would be visible under the moonlight.


    My heart pounded, my breathing became ragged. I held my breath and covered my mouth, afraid the child would hear me.


    A pathetic struggle, something that even a young child wouldn''t make.


    Please don''t find me.


    Just pass by, like this.


    But such clumsy actions wouldn''t work.


    The child''s eyes found me in the shadows, and at the same time, she stopped in her tracks.


    I''ve been discovered.


    That thought consumed my mind.


    "........"


    ".......¡ªAh."


    A moment of silence fell upon us.


    I prayed to a god I didn''t believe in, hoping that moment would last forever.


    But the gods weren''t benevolent enough to grant miracles to non-believers.


    Slowly, the child''s mouth opened.


    "Big Sis, I, found you...."


    "......."


    "I woke up¡­ and you weren''t there¡­ so I was sc-scared¡­!"


    The worst situation, the worst time, the worst place.


    The child stumbled over her words as she spoke to me, but I couldn''t hear anything she said.


    No.


    Don''t look.


    I looked around.


    As if someone had splattered red paint everywhere, the forest, which should have been a mix of green, blue, and a touch of black, had lost its original colors.


    Could this even be called a color?


    This was life, this was passion, this was love and violence.


    Blood.


    Trees, covered in splattered crimson, stained red.


    I kept putting it off and off and off, and now, all the karma I had accumulated had returned to its rightful owner.


    An undeniable, inescapable truth.


    "......."


    I bowed my head.


    I opened my hands, and saw that they were stained red, with unidentifiable clumps of fatty matter clinging between my fingers.


    Bits of flesh, still tasting sweet, lingered in my mouth.


    Thud, I slammed my head against the dirt.


    Again and again.


    Again, and again.


    In the distance, I heard the child''s voice filled with concern. Still, I couldn''t stop.


    Yes.


    I''ve been found out, in the end.


    Everything has been revealed.


    What I am.


    What I have done.


    You''ve seen it all.


    "...¡ªAlice."


    "Uh¡­ huh¡­?"


    "Alice¡­ Alice¡­ Alice¡­!"


    The surging emotions spilled out as the child''s name.


    I snapped my head up. In the distance, I saw the child, panicked by my actions, desperately trying to run towards me.


    The child''s eyes, as she approached, gradually filled with anxiety. Sensing my unusual demeanor, the child, sensitive to the emotions of others, slowly hardened her expression.


    It was as if it was foreshadowing the future that awaited us.


    It was heartbreaking.


    It was so frustrating, so regrettable, so suffocating that I couldn''t bear it.


    I, too.


    I didn''t choose to be born a monster, one that¡¯s unable to survive without drinking blood and consuming flesh.


    I just liked this fleeting warmth, I just wanted to enjoy this peace a little longer.


    Why are you looking at me like that, as if you''re looking at someone who has committed a terrible act?


    "Ah.... Aaah...."


    I was going to tell you.


    I was going to tell you, just after today passes, after this month passes, after this season passes! When I gather my courage!


    Then.


    I, too, was going to tell¡­ you.


    I didn''t¡­ plan to hide it forever.


    I wanted to apologize. I wanted to say I was sorry, that I didn''t mean to do it.


    But the words that came out of my mouth were cold, hot, indifferent, and agitated, completely different from my true feelings.


    Harsh words.


    A sharp dagger, aimed at the child.


    "¡­.Why!!"


    "¡ªHiee!?"


    "¡ªWhy did you do that! Why!! Did you want to see me that badly? Is that it!!!"


    I found myself questioning the child''s actions.


    Why did you come looking for me?


    I told you to stay in the house.


    I told you not to remove the bandage because your wounds could worsen.


    With bloodshot eyes and a face stained with blood.


    I walked towards the child, who was staring at me, dumbfounded.


    Crunch, a twig snapped under my foot.


    Yes, I know.


    I knew full well that these weren''t words I, who had confined the child in a pitch-black room, who had grabbed her ankle to prevent her from going anywhere, who had locked the door, should be saying,


    I knew full well that these weren''t things I, who had robbed the wandering child of her family, her past, her very name, should be uttering.


    I knew it, with a burning sense of shame.


    But.


    But right now.


    I felt like I would crumble if I didn''t think that way.


    "...Big Sis¡­?"


    "Yes, it''s Saelli. I''m your, Big Sister!!"


    The child, who had been looking around blankly, hardened her expression in shock as she saw me approach.


    As I stepped out of the shadows that had concealed me and into the moonlight, Alice seemed to lose her strength, collapsing to the ground as she finally saw me clearly.


    I strode towards her and reached her in a few steps.


    I grabbed the child''s hand, which had been slowly inching away from me, and pulled her towards me.


    "Where, are you going?"


    "...Ah¡­ uh¡­ Big Sis Elli¡­"


    "I asked you, where are you going?"


    The child''s embrace, which had always been warm, now felt chillingly cold.


    The sticky substance on my hand smeared onto her arm.


    I applied a little pressure.


    ¡ªSqueeze.


    "Hii..! Hiee¡ª!?"


    "What''s wrong, Alice? I''m your big sister, right? It''s me, Saelli!!"


    Whether it was from fear or shock, Alice''s teeth started chattering uncontrollably. Her hands and feet, limp with fear, dangled uselessly as she stared at me blankly.


    That sight, made my heart burn.


    I forced her head, which was turning away to avoid my gaze, to face me.


    I saw the child''s terrified expression, and my blood boiled.


    Don''t turn away.


    Look at me.


    As I clenched my teeth, my sharp teeth pierced my lip, and a trickle of blood from the wound flowed down my chin.


    Alice.


    Why are you looking at me like that?


    It''s me, you know?


    It''s Saelli, the Saelli you always called Big Sis Elli, right?


    You said you liked me.


    You said you would stay by my side forever.


    You said you loved me, no matter what.


    Lost in those thoughts, I caressed the area around Alice''s blue eyes, now fully exposed.


    Swish, swish, my still-not-yet dried blood smeared onto her beautiful skin.


    What are you, so afraid of?


    ......


    Hmm? Tell me.


    .....


    The child flinched every time my hand brushed against her. Alice didn''t answer the small question that came out of my mouth.


    I asked, poking her eyelid with a finger tipped with a sharp nail.


    Her eyes, darting back and forth.


    "You removed, the bandage?"


    "I¡­ ah¡­ aaah¡­ I-I''m, sorry¡­ Big Sis¡­"


    The child, forcefully embraced in my arms, was trembling violently, as if terrified of something.


    Watching this sight, I didn''t stop caressing her.


    I slowly moved my hand, moistening my finger with the blood from my lip as it dried, and gently smeared it on her pristine silver hair, her red lips, her flawless neck.


    Alice was a bright child.


    She probably understood the current situation completely.


    ¡ªThat I, was not a normal human being, to say the least.


    She must be terrified, scared.


    The child''s body, barely ten years old, tried to escape from my embrace. Her mouth, open as if to moan, couldn''t close.


    But she was still trying to obey me. The effort she put into looking up at me, not avoiding my gaze, was quite cute.


    In those eyes, clear as glass beads, I saw a monster covered in blood, staring at its next prey.


    With glowing red eyes, intently watching its next prey.


    That sight made me tighten my grip on the child even more.


    Tightly. sea??h th§× N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    So that I wouldn''t, let go.


    ¡ªSqueeze!!


    "Hiaaaa-!? It, it hurts!! Ah, it hurts!!"


    "The bandage, I told you, over and over, not to remove them."


    "¡ªKyaaaaaaaaak!!!!"


    A high-pitched scream echoed through the forest.


    Alice struggled desperately, trying to pull her wrist free from my tightening grip, which was getting stronger and stronger.


    But the child''s strength was too weak, her resistance only lasted a few minutes. I lifted the child, who was about to collapse, gasping for breath.


    I embraced her again, preventing her from slipping away.


    Thump, thump, weak punches landed on my chest.


    The child was looking at me with pleading eyes.


    A single tear that couldn''t be held back falls onto my hand.


    Drip.


    Her fragile appearance, begging for forgiveness, saying she was wrong, that she wouldn''t do it again, made my heart sink deeper into a sticky swamp.


    What did you do wrong?


    Do you want to run away from me that badly?


    Do you want to escape from the scary monster?


    Are you, abandoning me in the end?


    Ah really,


    "¡ªYou''re a bad girl."


    "...I¡­ I was wrong¡­ Big Sis¡­ I¡¯m sorry¡­ I won¡¯t¡­ do it again¡­ so¡ª"


    "Really, you''re such a bad girl."


    Countless emotions, impossible to put into words, swirled within me.


    It felt like paints of all colors were mixing together, converging into a single point.


    This is sadness.


    This is anger.


    This is, resentment.


    If I had to describe my current emotions with a color ¡ª it would be the color of dirty, filthy ink, destined to be discarded.


    Yes.


    This is the color of a small, betrayal.


    Maybe we were never meant to meet from the beginning.


    "A bad girl, needs to be punished, right?"


    "¡­I¡­ don¡¯t want this¡­ Big Sis¡­ I¡¯m¡­ sorry¡­"


    In the child''s eyes, I saw a monster opening its jaws wide.


    Not to be outdone, I opened my mouth even wider.


    With my mouth wide open, I could no longer see the child in my eyes.


    I closed my mouth, accompanied by a scream.


    Crunch.


    My mouth was filled with something.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 30: Mistake.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 30 ¡µ Chapter 30. Mistake.


    * * *


    **


    Crunch, crack, munch.


    Twenty-seven bones shattered mercilessly between my teeth, making grotesque sounds.


    "Haaa....."


    The five fleshy parts, torn, ground, and minced into a mangled mess, lost all semblance of their original form, reduced to a single lump of flesh.


    A taste beyond compare to anything I had ever experienced.


    My stomach, which had been screaming in agony, my esophagus, burning in a raging inferno, my mouth, parched and cracked, all welcomed the long-awaited rain from heaven.


    Sweet.


    Delicious.


    More.


    Just a little, more.


    ¡ªCrunch.


    A rich, heavy, savory flavor filled my mouth. With every chew, the sweetness and savoriness intensified, and I couldn''t stop myself from grinding the meat in my mouth until it was completely pulverized.


    I chewed, and chewed again.


    Lost in a trance, I hugged myself with both arms.


    As if convinced that this, and this alone, could save me.


    Here was a single believer, who had embraced the truth.


    That''s how focused my mind was, on that single sensation of pleasure.


    A warm feeling spread throughout my body.


    The cold, monstrous blood within me seemed to be fading away.


    As it did, the unbearable pain that had consumed my body subsided, and the waves of emotions that had overwhelmed my reason calmed down.


    Gradually, my mind returned.


    My blurred vision cleared, and I started to hear the sounds around me.


    "Haa..."


    A small moan escaped my lips.


    Gulp, I swallowed the last bit of flesh, now too finely ground to chew any further, and savored the sensation as it slowly traveled down my throat.


    At the same time, my clearing mind questioned the food I had just consumed.


    I want to eat it again.


    What I just ate.


    What was it?


    The thick fog that had clouded my mind slowly dissipated.


    And gradually, a sense of unease crept over me.


    I had definitely made an irreversible mistake, but I couldn''t remember what it was.


    Stop it.


    Don''t think about it.


    My reason and intuition screamed at me to stop thinking about it.


    But I couldn''t, I couldn''t escape from this unsettling feeling.


    I had to remember.


    What did I just do?


    I think Alice was here.


    And where did the child who was in front of me go?


    The moment that question surfaced, the warmth that had been spreading through my body vanished, replaced by a bone-chilling cold that made goosebumps erupt all over my skin.


    As if I had remembered something I shouldn''t have¡ª


    ".......Ah?"


    Like a broken machine, my head slowly lowers.


    Creak, it sounded like the unoiled joints of a doll that had been left unattended for a long time.


    What?


    What, happened?


    The first thing I saw was silver hair, stained with blood.


    The hair, which had shimmered beautifully as if it held the Milky Way, was now smeared with a dark, reddish substance, as if someone had painted it on.


    The child was lying on the ground, as if she had been attacked.


    "¡ªHuh?"


    Huh?


    Wha...?


    This can''t be, right?


    Why¡­?


    The moment I saw Alice sprawled there, my mind went blank.


    My head, turned into a blank slate, tried to deny the horrifying sight before me.


    But my body, simply following the initial command, continued to lower my head.


    Little by little, bit by bit.


    The truth, came into view.


    And at the same time, everything came rushing back.


    As my gaze moved lower, I saw Alice kneeling on the ground, her right hand clutching the sleeve of her left arm, her body curled up.


    I started to hear the sound I had been denying in my mind, the sound I had been ignoring despite hearing it.


    A faint scream, like a whisper, as if she was crawling on the ground.


    I heard it, finally.


    "Uu¡­ aaah¡­ g-guh¡­ ka,hak¡­"


    "......Huh?"


    The child was moaning, lying in a pool of blood, clutching her empty wrist.


    She was trembling, trying desperately to stop the bleeding from the spot covered by her sleeve.


    Drip.


    A single drop of blood, seeped through the fabric and fell.


    It landed on the pool of blood, creating a small ripple before merging with it.


    Starting with that single drop, the blood began to gushed out from the sleeve she was clutching, like a fountain, spraying in all directions.


    Splat.


    The blood, spraying out, landed on my face.


    I wiped the liquid from my face with a trembling hand.


    Sticky, dark red¡ª


    "Ah."


    The moment I saw it, I felt a scream erupt from my chest, tearing through my very being.


    What that pool of blood was made of.


    Who caused it.


    What this situation was.


    Realizing all that, I screamed with all my might, unleashing all the strength within me.


    Strangely, no tears came.


    I felt only a desolate emptiness, as if I had been pushed into a bottomless pit with no way out, no escape in sight.


    Yes.


    I was in despair.


    "¡ªKIAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"


    **


    A mirror once broken can reflect no one.


    A petal once fallen can never return to its branch.


    I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯m sorry.


    I knelt before the child''s trembling form, apologizing hundreds of times in my heart, for a forgiveness that would never be granted.


    I''m sorry.


    I''m so, so sorry.


    "Hahk...ah,uah....hi,hihi..Bi,gsis..."


    ".....Aaah..."


    I hurriedly tried to stop the bleeding from her wrist, but it seemed she had already lost too much blood, and Alice''s condition wasn''t good.


    Her face, illuminated by the moonlight, was pale, her lips blue.


    Flap, the empty sleeve of her left hand, fluttered listlessly in the wind.


    Even so, the child was just smiling at me, as if she was happy about something.


    That sight, was unbearable.


    "¡ªWhy, are you looking at me like that¡­!"


    "....Hehe..."


    "I said! Don''t, look at me! With those eyes¡ª!!"


    Despite my harsh words, the child only smiled faintly.


    It only made me feel more guilty for raising my voice.


    Up close, in those beautiful blue eyes, I saw the terrified face of a coward.


    Like, a complete reversal of our roles from just moments ago.


    The one who had been irreversibly wounded wore a smile of relief, a benevolent expression that embraced everything.


    And the one who had inflicted the pain wore a terrified expression, screaming in agony as if she was the one who had been hurt.


    That fact, made me sick to my stomach.


    I was disgusted by my own behavior, acting as if I was the one who had been hurt, the victim, trying to evoke sympathy.


    The one truly hurt was this little child.


    This child, for whose only support had been a small twig, only to find out that the twig was actually a monster that deceived and devoured people.


    This poor child, not even allowed to rely on others, is right in front of me.


    I couldn''t even imagine how much pain this kind and gentle child must have felt because of my betrayal.


    And yet, here I was, a filthy slob who deserved to die, acting as if I was the one in pain, wearing a tormented expression.


    I stuck my finger down my throat, trying to vomit out the guilt that was consuming me.


    Heave, heave.


    But no matter how much I retched, all that came out were bits of already digested flesh.


    The child''s hand, couldn¡¯t be fixed.


    A miserable reality, as if reminding me of that fact.


    "¡ªHate me!! I, this crazy monster!! Is right here in front of you!!"


    "Ah¡­ Heehee¡­ I-Is that so¡­?"


    "That''s not ''Is that so''!! Why!! Why..... In this situation.... like that....."


    Despite everything, Alice didn''t stop smiling.


    Instead of stopping, her smile only widened every time she saw my contorted face.


    "B-But¡­it''s, okay¡­"


    ".....What?"


    Swish, her soft right hand gently caressed my cheek.


    It was a slow, trembling movement, but I could only watch, dumbfounded.


    At some point, the tears I had been shedding were wiped away by the little child''s hand.


    "Elli¡­ Big Sis, for,gave¡­ me¡­? Heehee¡­"


    "¡ª!?"


    "N-Now¡­ I¡¯m not¡­ a, bad child¡­ anymore, right? Ri-ght?"


    Her trembling hand slowly moved away from my cheek and fell to the ground with a soft thud.


    My body, touched by the child''s hand, remained frozen, unable to move.


    Ah.


    Only then did I realize what I had been thinking wrong.


    Arrogant and ignorant, selfishly focused on my own pain.


    A simple truth.


    Just because I''m hurt, doesn''t mean others aren''t.


    That''s right.


    The one hurt, the monster, wasn''t just me.


    I had been so preoccupied with my own pain that I had disregarded the suffering of others.


    The child, too, no, the child, more than anyone else, must have been so hurt.


    And yet, I, acting as if I was the protagonist of a tragedy, wallowed in my own grief, blind to the pain of others.


    "I¡¯m¡­ sorry¡­ I was wrong¡­ Don¡¯t¡­ hate me anymore¡­ okay?"


    "¡­Ah¡­ Aaah¡­!!"


    "I¡¯ll¡­ I¡¯ll¡­ re-bandage it¡­ So¡­ I¡¯ll listen to you well, Big Sis Elli¡­ like before¡­ read books to me¡­"


    "¡ªAaaaaaaaah!!!"


    This was all,


    A sin I had created.


    Afraid of being abandoned, I had raised my spines like a hedgehog, lashing out at everything in sight.


    Unable to accept the warmth that had reached out to me, I had doubted, distrusted, and deceived with a false truth.


    I had cunningly deceived, tempted, and trained the child to make her focus solely on me.


    The child was already prepared to accept everything, and yet, I kept putting it off, because I lacked the courage to reveal the truth, creating this nightmare.


    "¡ªSo¡­ you¡¯re not¡­ abandoning me¡­ right?"


    ".....!!!!"


    I cried. S§×ar?h the N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Amidst my sorrowful cries, the sun slowly started to rise.


    The midsummer night''s dream, had ended.


    But the scars, left by that nightmare, would remain forever.


    As they always have.


    The sun rises, and a new day begins.


    That was all.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 31: Sandcastle.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 31 ¡µ Chapter 31. Sandcastle.


    * * *


    **


    A sandcastle easily crumbles under the passing waves and wind.


    No matter what story is etched into it, who built it, or how much care was put into its creation, a structure made of sand will inevitably collapse.


    It won''t last even a few days, its traces vanishing completely, becoming just another part of the beach, its existence forgotten by all.


    The small beach is a graveyard of countless sandcastles, built with care by nameless people.


    Don''t worry too much about your castle crumbling.


    "¡ªBecause you can always rebuild it."


    Something you can rebuild anytime you want.


    Something you can recreate with your own two hands, a miniature representation of that day''s memories.


    That''s what a sandcastle is.


    So, Big Sis.


    You don''t have to make such a pained expression, okay?


    **


    The night''s mischief passed without any major incidents.


    As is the nature of all pranks, someone cried, and someone laughed.


    A way to show affection, a catalyst for a stronger bond, you could call it a prank.


    Yes.


    A prank that will be easily forgotten.


    ¡ªChirp, chirp.


    "...Ugh..."


    Was it because of last night''s brief act of rebellion?


    I, who rarely slept in, slowly opened my eyes to the chirping of birds, a sound that told me the sun was already high in the sky.


    And then, I saw it.


    "Ah."


    This is your sunlight.


    Oh Shiva, please save me. (TL Note: Shiva is the sun in Hinduism)


    Ugh, my eyes.


    The sunlight, seen for the first time in six months, was so intense that I couldn''t keep my eyes open.


    The light poured directly into my dilated pupils, unfiltered, and the sheer volume of signals flooding my brain was painful.


    To think it would cause pain like this.


    I will remember, this grudge!


    I squeezed my eyes shut and covered them with both hands, trying to protect my vision. I twisted and turned, and the movement sent objects around me tumbling to the floor.


    Clang, crash.


    Objects made of easily breakable materials shattered against the floor, sending sharp shards flying in all directions.


    The sharp fragments flew towards me too, leaving small cuts.


    I couldn''t see with my eyes covered, but the floor must have been a mess.


    And amidst the chaos.


    My left wrist collided with the wall.


    Thud.


    A small impact. Sear?h the N??eFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    I wish the pain was as small as the sound.


    But unfortunately, it seemed they were inversely proportional.


    ".....!!!!"


    The pain was so unbearable that I couldn''t even scream.


    I felt cold, hot, pain, ticklish, and a burning sensation, all at once.


    Starting from the severed end, waves of pain, exceeding all limits, surged through me.


    The pain spread throughout my hand, as if each of the tiny severed nerves were screaming in agony.


    My left hand, which should have been gone, which I had confirmed was crushed and devoured, felt like it still existed, like it was being held and tortured by someone else.


    Tingle, tingle.


    My brain protested, overwhelmed by sensations beyond its capacity.


    I wasn''t sensitive to pain, so the world had always seemed distant and detached. But there was one type of pain that bypassed all filters and reached me directly.


    And that was, the phantom pain I was feeling now.


    "Ah.... It hurts..... Uh¡­ Big Sis¡­"


    Thanks to my countless experiences and the resilience I had built up, I soon got used to the pain, but I couldn''t help but sigh at the thought of the ordeal that awaited me.


    Hngg.


    I could only let out a sharp moan, experiencing the strange sensation of touching my empty wrist.


    It continued until Big Sis Elli, sensing the commotion in my room, rushed upstairs in a panic.


    **


    Bang.


    The door burst open, creating a gust of wind in the quiet room.


    "¡ªAlice!!"


    "Ah.... B-Big Sis.."


    Thump, thump, Elli rushed towards me, seemingly grasping the situation.


    Her voice was dark as she asked about my well-being, but she walked towards me with a confident stride, facing me head-on without any hesitation.


    What is this, Big Sis?


    You¡¯re here, by my side.


    You didn¡¯t run away?


    That discovery, made me so happy.


    Elli, who had always been so quick to run away and reject, was now trying to face the consequences of her actions head-on, not running away from the horrifying scene she had created.


    If it were her when we first met, or the Elli who had hidden her secret and deceived me, she wouldn''t have done this.


    The moment she devoured my hand, to escape the weight of her guilt, she would have kept going, consuming me completely without leaving a trace ¡ª or she would have run away, leaving me behind in this remote house.


    And then, she would have tried to atone for her sins, secretly watching over me from afar until the day I died of old age.


    Even if I searched for her, she would never reveal herself.


    Without a care for my feelings.


    Just to alleviate her guilt.


    Naturally, that was unacceptable to me.


    Because it would be nothing but deception.


    Well, if she had done that, I would have gone out into the yard and attempted suicide just to bring her back.


    ¡ªIt seems Big Sis Elli had grown up more than I had imagined.


    To appear before me so confidently, what a courageous act.


    Reflection.


    To look back at one''s mistakes and actions, to feel ashamed of them, and to make a firm resolution to never repeat them.


    Yes. You shouldn''t dwell on the past, but look toward the future.


    Because humans live looking forward, and that''s the true driving force of growth.


    I was so proud that Elli had realized that.


    She walked towards my bed, seemingly unconcerned about the shards of glass scattered on the floor, crushing them under her feet.


    I trembled, my eyes tightly shut, and reached out, accepting the hand she extended towards me.


    I grabbed her hand with my outstretched right hand and my left arm, which only had a forearm left, and hugged it tightly.


    As if to prevent her from abandoning me and running away.


    Like a child clinging to their parent''s leg to keep them from leaving for work.


    Squeeze, I hug her hand tightly.


    With a tearful voice, I spoke to Elli.


    "I''m sorry... I''m sorry... I''m sorry... Big Sis... Don''t leave me... I was wrong..."


    "....."


    "Hmm? I¡­ I won''t¡­ go out at night¡­ anymore¡­ I¡¯ll keep my eyes closed!! So¡­ Big Sis Elli¡ª"


    "¡ªAlice."


    A strong voice, filled with determination.


    An overwhelming pressure, as if something significant was about to happen.


    That one word, made me feel like all my efforts had been rewarded.


    My hard work, wasn¡¯t in vain.


    This moment, was the only time I truly felt alive.


    She pulled me towards her, and my body was enveloped in her wide embrace.


    It was warmer than usual, so hot it felt like she would melt me away.


    I heard her voice, even more passionate, close to my ear.


    "I''m sorry."


    "....Huh...?"


    It was a confession.


    It felt like her words were transmitted directly into my mind, not through the air, but through the trembling vibrations of her chest.


    A confession that resonated in my heart, my mind, my very being.


    "I''m sorry. I''m so sorry. For deceiving you, for using you, for holding you back, for confining you."


    "...Big Sis¡­ Elli...?"


    "It''s all my fault. I was wrong. So now, I won''t run away anymore. I won''t turn away anymore."


    A declaration, filled with firm resolve.


    "So... please..."


    "....Ah."


    Her delicate fingers, caressed my eyelids.


    Despite my strong will to keep them closed, at her gentle touch my eyelids fluttered open, as if they had always been meant to.


    My vision, was filled with a blinding white light.


    Amidst that bright background, I saw black hair, standing out prominently.


    Blood-red eyes, slit like those of a beast, were looking down at me.


    Drip, drip.


    Tears fell from those eyes, one by one, wetting my face.


    Elli''s eyes were bloodshot, and her hair and face were covered in unidentifiable grime, as if she hadn''t slept or washed properly.


    A truly pathetic sight.


    You could even call it, filthy.


    But at this moment, Elli, standing before me, felt more beautiful than anyone else.


    Beautiful.


    I want her.


    Perhaps, even though it was just a fleeting moment, I might have experienced true love in this life.


    That''s how brightly she was shining.


    Bright enough to make me jealous.


    "Please¡­accept my apology¡­"


    "...Big Sis¡­"


    It''s incredibly painful to confess something you''ve been hiding from everyone.


    It''s incredibly difficult to face and acknowledge your own mistakes.


    But through those things, we can truly change.


    Just like Elli right now.


    The relationships you''ve built might crumble.


    The friendships you''ve painstakingly cultivated might vanish overnight.


    But if you worry about such things, you''ll only be stuck in the same place.


    Unable to meet anyone new, unable to tell a new story, you''ll live a life of isolation.


    "Alice... I''m truly¡­ sorry."


    "......Hehe."


    So.


    So, we have to keep building our own sandcastle.


    Even if it gets swept away by the waves.


    "¡ªBig Sis Elli."


    ".....Yes."


    I was a little disappointed that I had lost one hand to touch her with, but¡­


    I could smile, at the fact that she had confessed everything to me.


    Because our relationship, was starting anew, right now.


    "¡ªI love you."


    **


    Jealousy has green eyes.


    ***


    I¡¯ll be back with the next chapter, the conclusion of Chapter 2.


    * * *

 Chapter 32: Relocation.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 32 ¡µ Chapter 32. Relocation.


    * * *


    **


    Clip-clop, clip-clop.


    As a group of about ten people rode their horses in formation, a considerable amount of noise and dust arose.


    It was out of the blue for the animals peacefully napping nearby.


    They quickly sprang to their feet and fled in the opposite direction.


    "¡ªGiddy-up!"


    Leading the group was a young girl, her sleek hair flowing in the wind as she urged her horse forward.


    Behind her, a fragile-looking woman with blue hair followed, wearing a pained expression.


    Riding a horse consumed a considerable amount of stamina, and it seemed to be quite a burden for the woman who didn''t have a single muscle on her body.


    But her perseverance, her desperate attempts to keep up, showed how much effort she was putting in.


    "Huu¡­ huu¡­ huu¡­" S§×arch* The n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    ¡­It looked quite overwhelming for her.


    "Uwaaaaaah¡ª!! Princess Remi! Can we rest a little!? Please!?"


    "......Haa, Tessa."


    "Uaaaaaaaah!!!"


    Princess Remi''s heart softened at the wailing of the royal librarian, Tessa, and she gradually slowed her horse to a stop.


    The people who had fallen behind, busy searching the surroundings, arrived one after another, and everyone began busying themselves, preparing for a night''s stay in the forest as the sun began to set.


    They built a fire, set up makeshift shelters to sleep in, and prepared for dinner.


    A cheerful, commotion.


    Soon, a steaming dinner was ready.


    Of course, the quality of the food was a far cry from the meals they had at the royal palace, but no one complained.


    Clatter.


    Tessa and Remi sat facing each other at a small table, their meals laid out before them.


    It was Remi who broke the silence.


    "I''m sorry, Tessa. For dragging you into this."


    "...Don''t mention it, Princess. I should be the one apologizing. If only I had been a little faster¡­"


    "¡ªI''ve always said it''s not your fault, Tessa. It''s my fault for not noticing Aris struggling like that."


    Tessa, the royal librarian, had decided to accompany Princess Remi on her final journey.


    The second princess, Remi Akaia, was leaving for the Akard Empire to study abroad.


    She would be away from her homeland for several months, perhaps even years, and so, Remi decided to personally lead one last search for her missing younger sister.


    Everyone shook their heads, calling it a pointless endeavor with no chance of success, but Tessa was the only one who agreed to accompany Remi.


    It was her own way of atoning, believing that if only she had discovered the notes in the book sooner, if only she had noticed Princess Aris''s unusual behavior earlier, that tragic incident could have been prevented.


    Or perhaps, it was her way of letting go of the lingering hope and attachment she felt for the youngest princess, whom she had cherished.


    Even though she lacked physical strength and wasn''t skilled at anything that required physical exertion, her knowledge from books proved to be a great help on their journey.


    Things like identifying edible plants, reading maps, understanding the terrain, and so on.


    Well, she was a klutz in everything else, and her body was screaming in protest.


    No matter how smart you are, there are times when your body suffers.


    "....."


    "....."


    As they began to eat, an awkward silence settled between them.


    Unable to bear the atmosphere, Tessa, who felt that she had become quite close to the princess, initiated a conversation.


    "You''re... going to enter the academy next year, right?"


    "Well... yes."


    The topic of conversation shifted to the Museion, the Akard Empire''s academic research school, commonly known as the academy, where Princess Remi was going to enroll.


    Tessa was actually quite interested in the academy, and she wanted to hear about it.


    Tessa looked at Princess Remi, her eyes filled with cheerful anticipation.


    And that anticipation was, unfortunately, betrayed.


    "Well, they call it an academy, but it''s actually more like a place of exile."


    ".....Pardon?"


    "A matchmaking ground... A graveyard... Well, it has many nicknames, but I personally like that word. Exile. It has a nice ring to it, doesn''t it?"


    The academy.


    It was one way the Akard Empire maintained loyalty and exerted influence over neighboring kingdoms.


    Send a crucial person, someone valuable enough to be a ''hostage'', to our academy.


    It was a form of blackmail disguised as goodwill.


    The nobles had no choice but to send their children, albeit reluctantly. Who would want to send their child to a school in a foreign land, far away from their home country?


    Moreover, the academy subtly instilled pro-imperial ideologies and theories, and taught a slightly revised version of history that leaned in their favor.


    "Aris, Aris, I begged them on my knees, asking them to find my little sister, but all I got was cold treatment, not even a proper search. Ha¡ª!"


    ".......P-Princess¡­?"


    Furthermore, those who were set to inherit the throne or titles like Duke (DUX) never went to the academy. (TL Note: Dux meaning the top of their social class, something like that)


    Why would they go to such a place when the best teachers were readily available in their own countries?


    They had already formed their own networks from a young age, holding tea parties and balls, steadily building connections and friendships.


    There was no need to go out and build connections themselves, people will somehow crawl to them on their own.


    That''s why, to appease the empire and maintain appearances, those who had been passed over for the throne and nobles who would inherit titles lower than Count were sent to the academy.


    And it was also filled with capable but naive commoners who paid to enter, hoping to form connections with those nobles, thinking that even a fallen noble was still a noble.


    That was what the academy was.


    Rumble, crash.


    The sound of her illusions crumbling, one after another.


    Tessa was completely overwhelmed.


    Her hands trembled, and the food she had scooped onto her spoon clattered back onto her plate.


    The thick stew she had put in her mouth was sweet and flavorful, but right now, Tessa couldn''t tell whether the food she was eating was going into her mouth, nose, or ears.


    She thought.


    Ah, this is a trap.


    It was the second time in her life that she wished she could turn back time.


    The first time had been the day Princess Aris disappeared.


    And the second time was now.


    "Since ''that person'' is going to inherit the throne, I had no choice but to get sent far away. ''Go be a hostage,'' they said, ''Haha! Go to school, build some connections, maybe find a husband and get married,'' or something like that."


    ".....Princess Remi..."


    "Ah¡ª I''m sorry, Tessa. Kuku."


    Remi muttered an apology, saying she didn''t mean to make her uncomfortable, and took a large bite out of the hard rye bread.


    Crack, the bread snapped loudly.


    Seeing that, Tessa clutched her pounding heart and desperately tried to finish her meal.


    Vowing never to bring up the topic of the academy again.


    And vowing to burn all the romance novels set in the academy once she returned to the library.


    The meal ended, leaving the two with their moods spoiled.


    Caw, caw.


    Along with the cawing of a crow, echoing from high above, the sun completely disappeared beyond the horizon.


    Except for a few who were on watch, everyone drifted off to a deep sleep, exhausted from the day''s journey.


    And so, another day passed.


    Caw, caw.


    Caw.


    Under the soft moonlight.


    No one knew that a small gem was attached to the crow''s leg.


    Everyone, fell asleep.


    **


    An urgent report from the crow.


    ¡ªPeople from the Tesillia Kingdom, are coming down the river.


    Of course, this wasn''t the first time people had searched this area.


    But most of them were only equipped for searching, and they were only equipped with basic anti-shamanistic tools, so deceiving them was easy.


    The slightly altered natural environment surrounding my house was a shamanistic tool in itself, and people simply passed by, unaware of the subtle inconsistencies.


    However, the situation was different now.


    "..Caw... Caw..."


    "¡ªThank you for your hard work. Rest well."


    Crunch, crunch, she looked at the small orb, crackling with small electrical sparks.


    Only static and a distorted image could be seen from the orb.


    It was unusable now.


    The shamanistic tool was disrupted.


    At least high-level, perhaps even higher, anti-shamanistic equipment.


    It must be because of the anti-shamanistic equipment given to the princesses to prevent a repeat of the previous incident.


    And, ¡ªthe princess wearing it is approaching.


    She''s close to the house where Alice and I are living.


    "....I can''t let them meet. Never."


    The decision was made.


    No.


    Absolutely not.


    My distrust of the Akaia royal family, hadn''t disappeared.


    Moreover, I had heard that the first princess, who had committed that atrocious act, had become the official heir to the throne.


    There was no telling what that woman would do if she found out that her sister was alive.


    For Alice''s safety, I had to avoid contact with them as much as possible.


    "......"


    I looked back.


    I saw the small cabin, where we had been living for a long time.


    You could even call it, my home. To say it wasn''t precious to me would be a lie.


    But¡ª


    "¡ªIt''s time to move."


    There was no hesitation.


    The decision had already been made from the beginning.


    Alice''s safety, that was all that mattered to me.


    I quickly searched for a suitable place for Alice and me to live.


    Even if I had to bring in precious treasures, even if I had to bring in anyone, my memories, my past, anything¡ªnothing was more important to me than this one child.


    I could sacrifice a hundred houses like this.


    A place near a village where I could easily purchase necessities for Alice, who was entering her growth spurt, to ensure her peaceful life.


    But a place with too few people would be very exclusive towards outsiders.


    And a place with too many people would spread rumors quickly.


    It also had to be a place far enough from the Tesillia Kingdom, where their influence couldn''t easily reach.


    The candidates quickly narrowed down. And among them, considering Alice''s fatigue, I chose the closest location.


    Tap, a pebble at my feet rolled away.


    It was time.


    "¡ªShall we try, the empire?"


    It was time to move.


    **


    Akard Empire, Syria Village.


    A shabby-looking girl was staggering along, clutching a bundle of cloth.


    Or rather, it was me.


    Huh, why am I crying¡­?


    "Ugh... The Middle Ages¡­ What is this¡­ I want to use my phone¡­ I want to watch YouTube¡­ I want to listen to the latest pop songs, not hymns¡­ I want to eat macarons¡­"


    "¡ªHey, Han! What are you mumbling about again!! Go do the laundry! Don''t you want to eat today!?"


    "Uwaaaaah¡ª!! Uncle Hust, I''m coming!!"


    Every day it''s laundry, sewing, my fingers were rough and covered in cuts from eczema and needle pricks.


    Cooking, exercise, hunting, anything, all I could do were these menial tasks, as I only had a superficial understanding of everything.


    Talking about how the earth is round, how all matter is made of atoms, repeating things I had learned from someone without even understanding the principles, wouldn''t get me anywhere.


    All that mattered to them was knowing how to identify edible herbs and when to sow seeds.


    It was a harsh reality for me ¡ª Han Sia, an ordinary high school student, who had spent her days going to school, attending cram schools, and enjoying her free time.


    Yes.


    It was too, too harsh.


    "Seriously ¡ª I definitely died, so why was I reborn in a place like this?"


    They say that everything in the world has a meaning.


    Does my rebirth have a meaning too?


    In this harsh daily life.


    I couldn''t shake off that doubt.


    And that doubt, remained unanswered even after more than ten years had passed.


    Unfortunately.


    ***


    The End.


    Let''s begin.


    *** (TL Note: Author¡¯s Afterword)


    The final heroine, appears.


    By the way, the protagonist of this story is, only Aris(Alice).


    I hate stories with two protagonists. Don¡¯t worry. She¡¯s just a cameo.


    The reason I added a reincarnator (2nd life newbie)?


    Modern people are, quite sensitive to ethical and moral sense.


    A girl who relies on a woman who bit off her arm, whose real sister tried to stab her to death with a sword, a young girl covered in scars and missing a limb.


    I wonder how modern people would react to that.


    The four-way battle, begins.


    It seems everyone will gather in Chapter 4.


    * * *


    TL NOTE:


    Hello Butter cat the TL here, I will be unavailable for like two weeks or so because of vacations reasons. Don¡¯t worry I have translation stocked up so for this week it¡¯s just regular release schedule but after this week? Fingers crossed. I¡¯ll try to see if it¡¯s possible for me to translate at vacation, but probably won¡¯t be possible. I¡¯m really sorry! I¡¯ll notify when I get back in the discord server!

 Chapter 33: Arrogance.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 33 ¡µ Chapter 33. Arrogance.


    * * *


    **


    I enjoy observing things closely.


    It''s far more interesting than just glancing at the fleeting scenery that passes by without a second thought.


    A red-tinged maple leaf, exuding the essence of autumn.


    That single leaf, which we pass by without a second thought, might contain a deep history that we can''t fully comprehend.


    Isn''t it, fascinating?


    "¡ªDo you like it?"


    "Yes! The color is like Big Sis Elli''s eyes, so pretty!!"


    "....If you say so, I like it too."


    Rattle, rattle, rattle. Inside the carriage, rattling along at high speed.


    I was lying down with my head on Big Sis Elli''s lap, gazing at the small maple leaf in my hand.


    The ride in the bumpy carriage was far from comfortable, but none of us complained about it.


    This moment was too precious to be wasted on such trivial matters.


    I looked at the maple leaf, then at Big Sis Elli''s eyes.


    The more I looked, the more they resembled each other.


    So pretty, so beautiful.


    "Huh? Big Sis Elli, your face is red¡ª!!"


    "....It''s just your imagination."


    "Eh~? No it''s not~? Heehee."


    "...Honestly, you''re such a handful."


    Elli had pulled her hood down low to hide her face from others, but when I rested my head on her lap and looked up, I could clearly see her blushing face.


    Her body, a little warmer than before.


    Worried that she might get upset, I decided to stop teasing her.


    A sudden relocation.


    Elli and I abandoned our old house and set out for a new place to call home.


    I didn''t know the reason... Well, she must have her own reasons.


    I just follow Elli''s lead.


    A sudden confession, starting with the words, "There''s something I''m hiding."


    Elli''s passionate plea, asking me to trust her just one more time, even though she couldn''t tell me everything, made me so happy that I nodded vigorously.


    How could I not trust her?


    How could I not be happy?


    She had finally awakened from her long slumber, taking her first step as a human being.


    I wanted to witness the end of her journey.


    "Pat my head!"


    "...As you wish. If it hurts at all, please tell me immediately."


    "Heehee. Okay!"


    Swish, swish, I closed my eyes, enjoying her gentle touch.


    Her movements, so careful and focused, as if afraid of causing me even the slightest pain or discomfort, were adorable.


    After what felt like an eternity, I finally drifted off to sleep, basking in a peace and happiness devoid of any worries.


    "....By the way, Big Sis. What was the name of the village near the place we''re going to?"


    "Ah, I forgot to tell you."


    Considering Elli''s special circumstances, it was a suitable forest, close to a village where people lived, but not a place people would intentionally seek out.


    Our new home.


    "¡ªIt''s Syria Village."


    The carriage would soon reach its destination.


    It was an end, but also a beginning.


    I wondered what new encounters awaited me.


    Lost in those thoughts, I drifted off to sleep.


    Deeply, very deeply.


    **


    Many people jokingly say.


    If they could go back in time, they could use their ''superior'' knowledge to achieve greater success than anyone else, to live a life of comfort and ease.


    Literature, engineering, academics, politics, entertainment.


    They want to be praised and reign supreme among those they consider inferior, the people of the past.


    It''s just a hypothetical scenario, but we say that if it were possible, we could totally live like that.


    Really, so arrogantly.


    "Well ¡ª that''s just how the world is."


    It''s just a form of escapism for people who are struggling to get by.


    Just like me, in the past.


    A delusion that most people want to believe in, that they, living in the present, are at least superior to the people of the past.


    I''m actually not talented enough for this kind of work.


    Others, don''t recognize my talent.


    I''m, a little, better than those around me.


    Yes.


    I might be, a little, smarter.


    Because unlike them, I know that the earth is round, that objects with mass attract each other, that light has both wave and particle properties.


    Because those people, who didn''t even know such simple things, seemed so pathetic.


    Haha.


    ¡ªEven though, I can''t even properly explain why the sky is blue.


    "Ugh¡­"


    Thump, thump, thump. I beat the laundry with a steady rhythm.


    My arms ached, and my legs, crouched low, trembled, but I couldn''t stop, thinking that each of these actions would be converted into money.


    Water splashed with every beat of the washing bat. (TL Note: Fun fact in the afterword)


    "Ughhh... Why are there so many clothes to wash today¡­ I''m dying, Rumi¡­"


    "Han. Wouldn''t it be better to move your hands a little faster instead of complaining?"


    "Yeees¡­"


    Uegh, Mama is being mean¡­


    I told you not to call me Mama.


    Ouch¡ª!?


    Slap.


    "Uuu¡­"


    In a book with a similar story, the protagonist was so handsome that he could pick up anyone he wanted, so why am I stuck here, doing this?


    Clutching my throbbing head, I reminisced about the past blunders that had led to my current financial situation.


    So, it was a long time ago, a time I can''t even remember properly.


    I once tried to create the epitome of modern artifacts, a pen, using all my knowledge.


    This is a hit! That¡¯s what I thought back then.


    I somehow managed to recall the memory of disassembling a pen during class, drew up a crude blueprint, commissioned it to a blacksmith, and struggled to gather the necessary materials.


    It was a plan that I had poured all my savings into, money I had painstakingly saved by helping with household chores with my swollen fingers.


    To make a small change in this stagnant life.


    No.


    Or perhaps, was it a gamble to preserve my sense of identity in this tedious life?


    Well, it doesn''t matter now.


    Anyway, I did my best, within my capabilities.


    And naturally, the result was...


    Yeah, it was a complete failure.


    Totally.


    The ink wasn''t what I had imagined, and the parts I had commissioned from the blacksmith couldn''t even be assembled properly.


    The smelting, the casting, everything was vastly different from the modern era.


    Technology, doesn¡¯t advance because of a single genius.


    No, maybe they''re not even geniuses.


    It''s the ordinary people who observe and imitate the technology created by geniuses. S§×ar?h the nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Ink leaked from the back of the nib when I turned it upside down, it was too thick to hold comfortably, it was a complete failure that I would have immediately thrown in the trash back then.


    A complete piece of junk, not even worthy of being called a prototype.


    Naturally, the funds I had saved for my trip to the imperial capital went up in smoke.


    Poof, just like that.


    .....Damn it.


    "Uwaaaaaaaaah¡ª!!!"


    "...Your usual tantrum, I see."


    Thump, thump, thump, thump, I slammed the washing bat down with all my might, channeling my rage. I heard someone clicking their tongue beside me, but I didn''t care, it was a common occurrence.


    At this moment, I was a lone Don Quixote. (TL Note: Author really likes old novel, this is from an old Spanish novel.)


    A single knight, fighting against a monstrous creature (laundry).


    This is the enemy of my money!


    And this too, the enemy of my money!


    Wham, wham, I swung the washing bat recklessly, thrashing the clothes.


    As I started beating them with all my might, the pile of laundry quickly dwindled.


    And naturally, I made a mistake.


    ¡ªThwack!


    A clear sound, different from the sound of hitting fabric, as if I had struck something hard.


    At that moment, I instinctively knew.


    I messed up.


    "Aaaaagh¡ª!!! My haaaand!!!"


    "......"


    The washing bat, swung with force, had hit my innocent hand instead of the clothes, and I rolled around on the ground, writhing in pain.


    Mama... It hurts¡­ Huu, make it better¡­


    ¡­.This is driving me crazy.


    Rumi, my friend, was staring at me with a look of utter disappointment.


    Her eyes couldn''t hide her disgust.


    "Haah."


    No, she wasn''t even trying to hide it.


    She was looking at me with a "This is my friend?" expression, as if she couldn''t believe it.


    With a harsh, judgmental gaze, like she was looking at a good-for-nothing NEET who stayed cooped up at home all day.


    Without a shred of sympathy or hesitation, Rumi gathered her finished laundry and slowly got up.


    "...I''m going back first."


    And then, she abandoned me.


    "Rumi!? R-Rumi!? Are, are you really leaving me¡ª!? Hey!!"


    "Bye-bye, Han. See you later¡ª....Actually, let''s never see each other again. It was fun while it lasted."


    "Eeeeeeh¡ª!?"


    Just like that, my only friend in this village, the only one who was kind to me, Rumi, coldly abandoned me and left.


    My fingers ached and throbbed.


    I wanted to chase after Rumi and go back, but the pile of laundry, still far from finished, kept me rooted to the spot.


    I think I finally understand why washing machines didn''t exist in the Middle Ages.


    You can just use people, so why bother with a washing machine?


    Both cost money anyway, haha.


    "Hngg¡­"


    I couldn''t help but shed tears at this harsh reality.


    A teardrop fell.


    But because they landed on my already soaked and swollen white hand, the tear vanished without a trace.


    "......."


    Yes.


    Just like me.


    Without any meaning.


    It vanished, just like that.


    **


    * * *


    **** (TL Afterword)


    So fun fact in the Middle Ages, people would first clean their clothes using soap from animal fat or ashes then quite literally beat the dirt out with sticks or ¡®washing bat¡¯. This method worked really well and is used by almost everyone, since it didn¡¯t exactly need soap to clean the clothes, though the smell would remain.

 Chapter 34: Hamster Wheel.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 34 ¡µ Chapter 34. Hamster Wheel.


    * * *


    **


    I wish life was a hamster wheel.


    Round and round.


    How nice would it be to live as a squirrel, running mindlessly, aiming to complete just one rotation a day?


    But the days that pass by,


    The pages of the calendar that are torn off one by one,


    The hair that keeps growing back no matter how much you cut it,


    ¡ªThey all show that life is not a hamster wheel that¡¯s fixed in one place.


    It''s like a bicycle, moving forward as you pedal.


    I wake up early in the morning to the rooster''s crow, start my day by fetching water and doing chores.


    Pulling weeds, doing laundry, tending the yard.


    Getting fed, receiving a small amount of money.


    My life is just about spending my free time chatting with Rumi, living each day cautiously, clinging to others, begging for scraps.


    Well, yes.


    I''m getting by, somehow.


    For now, I can survive on their meager pity.


    But what about next year? The year after that? Ten years from now?


    Will I still be able to live like this?


    A question that plagues me every evening as I try to sleep.


    But no matter how much I agonized over it, no matter how much I tried to solve the problem, I couldn''t find an answer that guaranteed my survival.


    Because there''s no teacher to answer my questions, no friend to solve them for me, no one.


    Here, there''s only a lost and wandering soul, a lost child who has lost her spark.


    Only me.


    ¡ªWhoosh.


    "Ughh......"


    Watching the autumn wind, now turning cold, stripping the leaves from the trees, I wandered aimlessly through the colorful mountains.


    Even though my life revolved around doing chores for food and a small amount of money, I surprisingly had a lot of free time.


    It was, strange, really.


    Despite living in an era where tasks that could be done in an instant with machines in the modern world required hours of manual labor, the time spent working was actually shorter.


    How ironic.


    "It''s even more ironic that I died and woke up in this kind of world."


    That''s true.


    Crunch, crunch.


    The piled up fallen leaves that reached my ankle crunched softly under my feet as I walked.


    Wandering alone in a mountain valley where dangerous wild animals could be lurking wasn''t exactly a recommended activity, but what could I do?


    I felt like I couldn''t endure it any longer if I didn''t do something like this.


    A small act of rebellion, a small act of defiance, something like that.


    Can''t you allow a model student who has been enduring so diligently a little bit of freedom?


    "Ah ¡ª I wish I had been born a tree instead."


    Of course, even trees have their own hardships that I don''t know about.


    Like a woodcutter suddenly chopping them down, or a landslide, things like that.


    A life where you can''t even move, where you have to accept death quietly.


    But at this moment, I envied those trees.


    Because it seemed better than this.


    At least trees can be used as firewood, right?


    Thump.


    "Oh."


    I spotted some wild raspberry growing in a nearby bush, I picked one and popped it into my mouth.


    It was a plump, ripe fruit, despite it being autumn.


    Even though I couldn''t even properly distinguish between herbs and weeds, as the saying goes, ''Even a dog that''s been around the temple for three years can recite Buddhist scriptures,'' I could at least recognize a raspberry, after three years of living in a village. (TL Note: Classic proverb)


    Is this, a good change?


    I don''t know.


    "¡ªYum."


    The raspberry burst in my mouth with a refreshing pop. Unlike the modern raspberries that had been bred for sweetness, this one was tart and sour, or to put it nicely, it had a strong, natural flavor.


    Honestly, it wasn''t that delicious.


    "Ughhh¡­"


    I found a sunny spot, perfect for a nap. Thump, thump, I kicked away the fallen leaves with my feet.


    Is this good enough?


    My skirt would definitely get dirty, but I left the task of brushing off the dirt to my future self and leaned against a tree, closing my eyes.


    ".......Haaam." (Yawn)


    Ah, I really hate this.


    I hate it.


    It would be nice if I got eaten by something, just like this.


    Painlessly, while I''m sleeping soundly.


    Really¡­


    Re¡­ally¡­


    Dark¡­ ne¡­


    **


    Rustle, rustle.


    I felt a warm, gentle touch against my hair.


    Back in the old days, Mom would often stroke my hair like this instead of waking me up, even when it was time for school.


    Well, I would always get angry at her for making me sleep in and rush out of the house.


    A loving touch, something I hadn''t felt in a long time.


    Is this, a dream?


    But it''s too happy to be a dream¡ª


    It was a dream I wanted to have forever, if it were one.


    "....¡ª ¡ª...¡ª ¡ª?"


    "....Uh... Mm..."


    Despite my small wish for this moment to last forever, my consciousness was gradually returning.


    A faint voice.


    The fresh scent of grass and the cool breeze.


    As I listened to the pleasant sounds, little by little, strength slowly returned to my body.


    At the same time, a few questions automatically came to mind.


    What, was I doing just now?


    Who, is touching my hair?


    The answer to those questions came from right behind me.


    "¡ªSis? If you sleep in a place like this, you''ll catch a cold."


    "¡ªHieeek!?"


    A high-pitched, childlike voice, unique to young girls, reached my ears.


    ¡ªIt tickles.


    "¡ª!!!"


    Whoa, whoa, I let out a pathetic scream, even to my own ears, and jumped up as if I were a spring.


    But maybe it was because I had just woken up? My legs wobbled, and I had no choice but to fall to my knees.


    Thud, like a person prostrating themselves in apology. (TL Note: aka a kowtow)


    A perfect change of posture, fitting for my current situation.


    "........"


    "...Hmm?" S§×arch* The n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    To describe the current situation in one word, well, it''s like this.


    It was fucking, *embarrassing.*


    "Heeheehee!"


    ".....Ugh..."


    It was so incredibly, fucking embarrassing.


    Clap, clap, clap, a small round of applause came from behind, as if witnessing something amusing, only deepened the wound in my heart.


    The laughter, filled with pure joy, was the final blow.


    C-Could you please¡­ stop..


    All I could do was cover my face with both hands.


    Of course, the laughter didn''t stop.


    Please¡­ Stop it¡­


    My earlobes burned with embarrassment, and I could imagine the color of my face without even looking in a mirror.


    Aware or not of my state, the person who had presumably stroked my hair slowly walked towards me.


    The sound of footsteps on fallen leaves, so light.


    Tap. The child stopped.


    "Sis, are you okay?"


    There was still a hint of laughter in her voice, but it was also filled with genuine concern for me.


    My weak tear ducts, overwhelmed by the wave of shame, threatened to spill tears, but I managed to stop myself with all my might.


    If I do that too... I''ll really... die... No, I''m going to die¡­


    "...I''m, a little hurt."


    "¡­Eeeeh!? Really? Wh-where?"


    Yeah¡­ My heart, hurts a lot.


    But I couldn''t bring myself to say those words out loud, I just thought them to myself.


    Seeing the child fidgeting anxiously, as if something terrible had happened, I let out a small, wry smile and calmed my face.


    Haah, what am I doing to a child?


    By the way, why is a child even in these mountains?


    Several questions arose, and after composing myself, I lowered my hands from my face and slowly lifted my head to speak to the child.


    I was going to speak.


    "No, I''m fine..ah....?"


    ".....??"


    Should I say, I couldn''t believe my eyes?


    Beautiful, flowing silver hair.


    Emerald green eyes, as if they held the ocean itself within them.


    Her eyes were half-closed as if sleepy, but even that looked charming.


    She could be described as ''young'', but even considering that, she was definitely beautiful enough to be classified as a ''beauty''.


    More beautiful than anyone I had ever met in my life.


    That''s what I thought.


    "........"


    "Sis, are you hurt somewhere?"


    "........"


    "Umm...?"


    I froze, still on all fours, both my hands on the ground.


    It must have been an awkward position, but I had already been through enough embarrassment to be numb to it.


    No, wouldn''t anyone react this way if they saw this child in person?


    I was so convinced of that statement, so captivated by her beauty, that the child seemed unrealistically beautiful.


    I had never seen one in my life, but if fairies existed, would they look like this?


    "......Ah.."


    "Hmm...? Do you want me to pat your head more?"


    The child tilted her head, looking at me.


    I just stared at her movements, my mind blank, as if mesmerized.


    The child contemplated for a moment.


    And then, as if she had realized something, she let out a small gasp and reached out a hand towards my head.


    And then¡ª


    "....!!!"


    "Good girl~ Good girl~"


    ¡ªStroke, stroke.


    What''s going on?


    My frozen brain couldn''t process the sight before me.


    But my eyelids, closing involuntarily as I felt the familiar warmth and comfort against my hair, immediately recognized the sensation.


    The touch I had felt just moments ago in my sleep, the touch I had longed for.


    Ah.


    So it was this child.


    "...."


    "Hmm, I wish I had the same hair color as Big Sis Elli and you sis¡­"


    The child muttered the name of someone I didn''t know, ''Big Sis Elli.''


    But I just stayed on all fours, mindlessly enjoying the child''s gentle touch.


    On all fours.


    On¡­ all¡­ fours¡­?


    In front of¡­ this child¡­?


    On¡­ my hands and knees¡­?


    "Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaah¡ª!!?"


    "¡ªEeek!?"


    I''m crazy. I''m crazy!!


    Wowow, I screamed and sprang up like a jack-in-the-box. Again.


    The child''s eyes widened in genuine surprise at my actions.


    My heart warmed at her innocent reaction, but at the same time, I felt so embarrassed that I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear.


    Ugh¡­


    Kill me... please...


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 35: Lashing Out.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 35 ¡µ Chapter 35. Lashing Out.


    * * *


    **


    The moment I first saw her sitting across from me, I knew instinctively.


    No, on the contrary, I couldn''t *not* know.


    Black hair.


    Black eyes.


    Brown skin.


    ¡ªEverything about her appearance was out of place in this world.


    And even more captivating than her appearance was a sense of detachment, as if she had no lingering attachments to this world.


    A pitiful sight, as if she couldn''t find any meaning in her own life.


    I thought.


    Ah, this person is just like me.


    "...Heehee."


    I wonder which number this older sister is?


    This is going to be, so much fun.


    Whoosh, a cool breeze, with a hint of chill, blew past,


    A time when squirrels gather nuts, preparing for the end of the year,


    It¡¯s autumn, a time when new relationships blossom.


    I met someone of my kind??


    **


    Oh my, oh my, to think someone would crawl on all fours in front of a child who''s several years younger than them.


    Several years, no, wasn''t she well over thirty years old?


    No way. There''s no way someone like that would prostrate themselves and get their head patted by a girl twenty years younger than them!


    Hahaha! You''re right! There''s no way that happened!


    Hohoho! That''s right.


    ¡­


    Ah, really.


    "Huh? Sis? What''s wrong?"


    ".....It''s nothing. I just, want to die."


    "Eeeeh!?"


    I just wanted to bury my head in a mouse hole and die.


    I didn''t know if the small hole in front of me was a mouse hole or not, but I buried my head deep inside it anyway.


    Squish.


    The soft, black soil was colder than I expected.


    They say that even a mouse hole gets its share of sunshine, but at this moment, I wished the sun, the wind, everything would just disappear.


    I was sprawled there pathetically, my face buried in a mound of dirt, right in front of the child, hoping my memory would vanish.


    Disappear¡­


    Disappear¡­


    But closing my eyes only made it worse.


    In the darkness of my closed eyes, the previous memory is brought back even more vividly, and I kicked at the fallen leaves with my legs, struggling.


    Aaaaaaaaaaghh!!!!


    ¡ªPoke, poke.


    "Little bunny~ Little bunny~ Are you alive or dead?"


    "The bunny is dead¡­ so please leave me alone¡­"


    "It''s alive!"


    This is a suicidal bunny.


    Please don''t give me any unnecessary attention.


    But despite my silent plea for no one to bother me, the child continued to poke me playfully, giggling beside me.


    Poke, poke.


    Her childlike innocence made me chuckle, but the horrifying scene from moments ago flashed before my eyes, and I couldn''t help but feel depressed again.


    I want to die¡­


    Ten painless ways to end my life, perfect for a suicidal person, popped into my head. (TL Note: I¡¯m guessing this references to a book or something but couldn¡¯t find it.)


    But this problem wouldn¡¯t be solved by keeping my head buried in the dirt forever.


    I had no choice but to lift my head, feeling the dirt scratching my eyeballs.


    Plop plop, clumps of dirt that had stuck to my greasy hair fell off.


    Ah, it got in my mouth too.


    "¡ªPtooey¡­ Ugh, so bitter¡­"


    "Wow! Sis, you''re awake?"


    I shook my head back and forth, like a dog shaking off water after getting caught in the rain, trying to get rid of the remaining dirt.


    The child dodged the shower of dirt I was sending her way, and even that seemed to amuse her, as she let out little squeals.


    A brief moment of playfulness.


    It definitely helped clear my head.


    Thanks to that, I could see clearly again, and my eyes fully took in the child standing before me, beaming a bright smile.


    "Heeheehee!" Sear?h the N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    "........"


    A face I had never seen before in this area.


    If a child with a face like this existed, wouldn''t her beauty be known throughout the kingdom, not just the village?


    That''s how striking she was to make me think that way.


    Where had she come from, was she traveling?


    She was wearing an oversized white dress, as if she had borrowed an adult''s clothes.


    The sleeves were so long that they covered her hands completely and trailed down, swaying in the wind.


    Frankly, it was an outfit that didn''t suit her age.


    But her hand, clutching a single flower, peeking out from the flowing fabric, somehow made the outfit look adorable, as if it were intentional.


    Yes.


    Truly, everything about this was so beautiful, like a dream.


    A child with such an appearance, twirling in front of me, her arms spread wide.


    And the fact that she wasn''t showing any disgust or fear towards me, playing with me, her eyes shining as she looked at me, all of it¡ª


    "......"


    It felt, unreal.


    Generally, most people in this world hated me.


    It was because of my unusual hair color, the ominous shade of my skin, the prejudice of the people in this world.


    It''s only natural. This was a world where people worshipped ordinary natural phenomena as gods and believed in the existence of monsters that should only appear in children''s fairy tales.


    It''s human nature to reject what''s different, what they don''t understand.


    What would happen if a child was born with dark, gloomy hair and eyes, a color that didn''t come from either parent or any ancestors?


    ¡ªI was abandoned on the roadside as soon as I was old enough to barely walk.


    Perhaps because I was separated from my parents at such a young age, or because I had no memories of affection, I lived each day, enduring, having forgotten the faces of the parents who gave birth to me.


    If I had been an ordinary child, I would have been crushed by that situation.


    No, maybe that''s what they had hoped for from the beginning.


    For me to lose all hope in life, to wander off alone and be eaten by wild animals, perhaps that''s what they wished for?


    It didn''t go as they exactly as they hoped, but their actions definitely had a great impact on me.


    Because every day, I wanted to die.


    But fortunately, or unfortunately, I already had the self-awareness of an ordinary high school student.


    Whether it was out of pity, or simply because they didn''t want to create a wandering corpse, or perhaps because they didn''t want to be responsible for directly killing a person.


    I didn''t know their true intentions, but I was able to survive, barely scraping by, living off the scraps of food they threw at me in exchange for my labor.


    But even so.


    The disgusted looks they gave me.


    The heartlessness of the villagers, who wouldn''t even engage in casual conversation with me.


    My own weakness, my unwillingness to burden the few people who did talk to me.


    They were all pushing me, bit by bit.


    "¡ªYou, don''t hate me."


    "...Huh?"


    A small statement, one I had no intention of uttering.


    Perhaps it was inevitable that it came out.


    The child, dumbfounded by my sudden words. But my mouth, once opened, couldn''t close.


    The pent-up frustration, the resentment, the injustice that had been piling up all this time came flooding out like a bursting dam.


    The daggers made of words that had been piercing me, were now flying out of my own mouth.


    "Everyone, hates me. They say I''m filthy, disgusting, strange."


    "...Ueh?"


    "A monster, don''t you think so too?"


    To be frank, these weren''t words I should be saying to a child.


    Just a simple outburst of anger, directed at an innocent child who knew nothing, who was actually being kind to me.


    Nothing more, nothing less, the pathetic struggle of a wretched adult.


    But seeing the child before me, smiling brightly every day, as if she was truly happy, made me feel a surge of anger, an anger that was out of place, out of proportion.


    No, maybe it was jealousy.


    I didn''t choose to be reborn.


    I didn''t choose to be born with this color.


    They''re the ones who are wrong, for not seeing that color is just color.


    Having been given a second chance at life, a gift I didn''t deserve.


    Because of that, I didn''t even expect a happy life.


    But, at least¡ª I wanted to live like a human being.


    "¡ªChild whose name I don''t even know. You, hate me too, right?"


    I didn''t expect an answer.


    I didn''t expect anything.


    Having been betrayed by everything except for that brief moment when I was reborn into this world, I had never dared to hope.


    Because if that hope were to be betrayed, I wouldn''t have the strength to endure it anymore.


    "........"


    "........"


    The child, of course, didn''t answer.


    She just stared at me with a blank expression.


    That sight filled me with an unbearable sense of self-loathing.


    Really, what am I doing to a random child?


    I''m truly a piece of garbage.


    When I return to the village, I should probably try to get some sleep and clear my head.


    "Sorry, I think I was a little too stressed."


    "...."


    "So... really, I''m sorry¡­ I''m sorry¡­"


    I bowed my head.


    A small apology.


    With those words, I slowly turned away.


    I didn''t do anything that would leave any lingering attachment, like asking for her name.


    We''ll probably never meet again.


    Even if we did, seeing how I was treated in the village, the child would have no choice but to distance herself from me.


    Even the people I considered close, even Rumi, just remained silent when we were in public.


    So, this is just how it is.


    It can''t be helped.


    ¡ªThat''s what I thought, so I couldn''t accept the fact that the child was holding onto me.


    "......!!"


    Grip, My clothes grasped by a small hand.


    The grip was weak, but strangely, I couldn''t bring myself to shake it off.


    "........"


    "Why...?"


    Was it to escape from the child''s touch, or to ask for a reason?


    I stopped biting my lip, something I had been doing unconsciously, and asked the child in a trembling voice.


    Even though I had pushed you away so coldly, why.


    Why are you holding onto me.


    That''s what I wanted to ask.


    But the words that came out were so pathetic, so short, that I had to close my mouth again.


    Instead, it was the child who spoke.


    "¡ªYou must have, been through a lot."


    ".....!!"


    "You''re hurt¡­ and¡­ um, you''ve had such a hard time."


    Whoosh, I turned around with a gasp, my hair whipping around me.


    Seeing the child standing there, her head down, holding a flower in her hand, I realized that her small hand had long since let go of my clothes.


    But my feet, wouldn''t budge.


    I just stared at the child, dumbfounded, unable to process her words.


    Like, a complete reversal of our roles from just moments ago.


    Her pink lips curved into a gentle smile.


    "I''ll always be here, Sis."


    "......!!"


    "So, if you''re ever having a hard time, come here."


    I''ll be here for you.


    With those words, the child vanished into the depths of the forest, where darkness had fallen.


    In the spot where the child had been standing, a single, white, unidentified flower bloomed.


    As if to prove that this wasn''t a dream.


    It stood out, demanding my attention.


    "....What, is this."


    I held the flower in my hand, standing there blankly.


    For a long time, until the sun set.


    Just like that.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 36: Boundary Line.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 36 ¡µ Chapter 36. Boundary Line.


    * * *


    **


    There are too many of me inside myself.


    There is no place for you to rest.


    **


    She was like a lost child, abandoned in the middle of a cold city, lost in confusion, having lost her parents.


    Just a moment ago,


    Just a while ago,


    Just before I started living like this,


    I had a happy life with my loving parents, my kind older sister, and my friends from school.


    We laughed together over the smallest things, sharing precious moments, as if there was nothing more important.


    We laughed, we talked, we played pranks.


    We enjoyed the little things that were deeply embedded in our everyday lives.


    ¡ªBut, what about now?


    "........"


    They had all abandoned me, blending into the crowd, leaving me behind.


    Or, on the contrary, was it I who had been swept away by the crowd?


    Mom, where are you?


    Dad, where did you go?


    Unnie, I''m alone.


    Everyone, I''m so scared.


    I screamed frantically, calling out their names with all my might, but the only answer I received was the echo reverberating off the buildings.


    The passersby looked down at me, a child making unpleasant noises, their eyes cold and indifferent.


    Yes.


    I was cast adrift, alone in this unfamiliar world.


    Abandoned by everyone, even by the parents who gave birth to me in this world, I had lived my life on the streets.


    They cursed me, ridiculed me, mocked me, and abused me.


    I was surrounded by enemies, by people I couldn''t trust.


    It hurts, a lot.


    I''m struggling, so much.


    Don''t ignore me. Show me some kindness. But I don''t need your cheap pity. No, I do. Please don''t abandon me.


    I couldn''t even trust those who did offer me a little kindness or compassion, my heart too worn down by the life I had lived now.


    They were just there, and yet, I trusted them, I was betrayed by them, I deceived myself over and over again.


    My anxieties fed on each other, growing larger and larger, consuming me.


    I trusted people, and yet, I doubted them at the same time.


    It was so, so ugly.


    "Han! There''s still a stain left here!!"


    "Haha... Mrs. Pierre, I''ll wash it again."


    "Tsk, honestly. Get your act together, alright!?"


    "Yes, ma''am~!"


    But all I could do was hide my sadness, mask my struggles,


    And suppress my pain.


    My daily life revolved around wearing a comical mask, acting like a clown, overreacting, laughing excessively, pretending to be harmless.


    Ha.


    Haha.


    ....


    Haha. I should have known.


    If I knew living like this would be so painful.


    I didn''t need a second chance.


    Maybe I, my very existence, was a mistake from the start.


    That''s what I thought.


    "¡ªSis, long time no see!!"


    ".....!!"


    My closed eyes slowly opened.


    Late autumn.


    My wandering feet, with no destination in mind, had arrived at a familiar place.


    As usual, I had fallen asleep, hoping to wash away the painful memories, and the voice coming from afar finally woke me up.


    A few meters away from me.


    Winter was almost here, and yet, under a small tree, beautiful crimson flowers, one by one, started to bloom belatedly, as if they had overslept.


    The child was standing there, holding an armful of flowers that she had seemingly picked from the surroundings, her face as bright as the flowers, beaming a radiant smile.


    I raised my hand, slightly trembling.


    And waved at the child.


    "...Long, time no see."


    "Heehee!"


    I really, don''t know.


    Why I came back here again.


    Why I''m happy to see the child again.


    I''m so full of questions.


    The child, seeing me like that, just smiled, as if amused.


    **


    A small, soft cotton candy.


    But beneath that fluffy exterior, there was a thorny tree.


    Like a hedgehog, trying to push everyone away, unwilling to be hurt, as if saying, ''Don''t come near me''.


    And yet, a child who craved affection, trembling in fear of being abandoned.


    A person who had lost her will to live, who had given up on everything, caught between two conflicting desires that could never intersect.


    It reminded me so much of my past self, it was adorable.


    "¡ªYou heard my story, right?"


    "Huh?"


    "Don''t play dumb."


    She puffed up her chest, like a kitten hissing.


    At least, that''s what it looked like to me.


    Her eyes, still half-closed from sleepiness, were filled with suspicion towards me.


    Was it because she had just woken up, or was it because my presence had such a strong impact on her that it shook her heart?


    She had shed her playful demeanor from before, and was staring at me with a cold gaze.


    Fearsomely.


    Angrily.


    "No, you probably don''t even need to hear it? Everyone hates me when they see me."


    "........"


    "They all did. Abandoned, abandoned, abandoned. Even my closest friend, will probably abandon me too, eventually."


    Harsh words.


    It was harsh words towards herself.


    "You too, right?"


    With a twisted smile, she shed a tear.


    Beneath the mask, I saw a lost child, a lost soul who didn''t know where to go.


    "You asked if I was having a hard time, right? Yes, I am. I''m so tired, I want to die."


    "......."


    "....Haha, this is crazy. I shouldn''t be saying these things to a child. Have I really gone mad?"


    Meeting someone like her,


    Or rather, like me,


    This is not the first time I''ve met someone who¡¯s living a new(Second) life.


    Unusual appearances, abilities, or behaviors.


    Identifying such people was easy.


    They weren''t uncommon, appearing about once every ten times.


    ¡ªMost of them, couldn''t adapt to the changed world.


    Because a child acting unlike a child was considered ominous.


    Because someone was born with an appearance that shouldn''t be possible in their lineage.


    Because they couldn''t speak properly due to the influence of their previous language, having trouble learning a new one.


    They were ostracized for various reasons.


    Only a very few, the lucky ones, could enjoy the opportunities that came their way.


    Those who were rejected had no choice but to live their lives, unable to find meaning in their existence, lost in their changed environment.


    In that sense, I could say I was truly lucky.


    I had experienced good people, a good family, and good encounters, learning so much.


    I had found my own way of life.


    And I was able to sublimate those lessons, to guide those who were lost.


    I am, undeservingly, a blessed being.


    "....Heehee."


    I slowly approached her, as she sat there, her head down. S§×ar?h the N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Thud, plop.


    The flowers overflowing from my arms fell out, one by one, marking the path I had walked like signposts.


    Even though I was close enough to touch her, she, whose name I didn''t even know, was still lost in her self-reproach and lamentation.


    A testament to our ignorance.


    That a stranger, whose name we don''t even know, understands us better than we understand ourselves.


    Isn''t it, fascinating?


    That''s why we have to tell each other about ourselves.


    "Everything, everything, everything is a lie."


    "No, it''s not a lie."


    Both Elli, and the girl before me,


    All they wanted was nothing more than unconditional love and trust.


    Rustle, I scattered the flowers in my arms over her head.


    It was just an act of getting rid of what I was holding.


    But the sight of white, yellow, and blue flowers falling, all mixed together, seemed like a blessing for the path she was about to walk.


    She just looked up at me with empty eyes, covered in the flowers I had scattered.


    Believe, and you shall be saved. (TL Note: Christian bible verse.)


    A small verse came to mind.


    I slowly extended an arm and embraced her head tightly.


    I stroked her stiff hair, and her strands slipped through my fingers.


    You''ve been through a lot.


    You''ve done well, enduring all this time.


    Now, I''ll help you.


    "You¡¯re, pretty."


    "...That¡¯s a, lie."


    "I like it because it''s like the night sky, clear and beautiful."


    I wonder if, in a way, I''m her senior?


    Since I didn''t have much experience with younger siblings or juniors, I couldn''t help but want to intervene when I saw someone acting spoiled like this.


    This must be the responsibility of an adult.


    I untangled her messy hair with my right hand and embraced her warmly.


    Even though I had never felt inconvenienced in my life, but at times like this when hugging someone, it was a bit sad that I couldn''t use both hands.


    "You''ll abandon me too in front of everyone, won''t you?"


    "No I won''t~, I''ll be with you, always~"


    "¡ªDon''t lie!!!"


    When I responded playfully, she pushed me away with both hands.


    But her rejection was so weak, it was just a light push with her palms.


    I was so distracted by the guilt in her eyes that even that felt like a huge shock, and I stumbled backward helplessly.


    Thump. I tripped on a rock and lost my balance.


    It was incredibly difficult to maintain balance with only one arm left, so I ended up tumbling backward.


    Roll, roll.


    I ended up in a pathetic state, covered in dirt.


    "¡ªOuch!"


    "....You¡­!?"


    In that brief moment, she seemed to have seen something, her eyes widening.


    My lovely junior stood there, was frozen in place.


    Ignoring the pain, I got up and ran towards her again.


    You might doubt everything.


    You might feel like everyone is deceiving you, you might truly believe that they reject you from the bottom of their hearts.


    The violence and rejection fueled by hatred, the discrimination, all of it might never disappear.


    Yes.


    Unless a miracle happens.


    "I¡­ I don''t know anyone¡­ I don''t have a family, or friends¡­ So I''ve always been, alone¡­"


    "......"


    "You¡­ You¡¯re the first person I''ve gotten to know¡­ Everyone else¡­ hates me¡­!!"


    But humans are, creatures who create miracles.


    If you wish for it strongly, if you believe in it strongly, no matter how absurd it may seem, your wish might come true someday.


    So, let''s believe.


    Then, we''ll be saved.


    "So, please.... Be my¡ª friend."


    "......!!"


    But don''t worry too much if salvation doesn''t come.


    Look.


    "Don''t, abandon me."


    Hasn''t a miracle, appeared before us?


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 37: Malice.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 37 ¡µ Chapter 37. Malice.


    * * *


    **


    The only way to soothe a child who constantly craves affection.


    Is to keep showering the child with affection.


    Until the child is satisfied.


    Until they say they''re okay.


    Give them sweet affection, sweet enough to melt their brain.


    "And then, when the time is right, take it away¡ª"


    Then the child will stand on their own.


    **


    When I was young, I once got my foot stuck deep in the mudflats.


    No matter how much I struggled, my foot wouldn''t budge; it only pulled me deeper.


    What I thought were actions to free myself turned out to be actions that were sinking me deeper.


    Yes.


    Gradually sinking, until reaching a point of no return.


    That describes my current situation perfectly.


    "...Alice, how can I die painlessly?"


    "Sis Sia, you know you''ve been saying that for a week now?"


    "I know."


    "That''s good to hear."


    I pulled my clothes over my head and screamed. S§×ar?h the N??eFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Waaaaaaaah, a truly pathetic sound, echoed through the depths of the mountain.


    Waaaaah¡ª


    Waaaah¡ª


    Waah¡ª


    It was an attempt to shake off the shame, guilt, and regret that had filled my being, but those emotions were generated endlessly, as if violating the first law of thermodynamics, like a perpetual motion machine.


    I couldn''t help but think that emotions were the true source of eco-friendly energy.


    Uwaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!


    When I closed my eyes, the scene from before replayed vividly in my mind, and when I looked at the scenery around me, the words I had spoken came back to me.


    Why, why are these embarrassing memories so vivid?


    The things I had desperately memorized during my school days were gone, but these events haunted me, every word perfectly preserved in my memory.


    Thump, thump, the unidentified sounds that I heard every night in bed.


    I won''t reveal the identity, for personal privacy reasons.


    Thanks to that, my straw mattress had been reduced to an unrecognizable mess.


    And I got scolded by the landlord.


    Hngg.


    Just kill me¡­


    "Hmm¡­ ''You''ll abandon me too in front of everyone, won''t you?'' Was that it¡­"


    "K-Kuhk!? A-Alice?"


    " ''¡ªDon''t lie!!!'' "


    "Cough!!"


    My outburst was sudden, but Alice, who was beside me, was calmly gathering flowers, as if it were a normal occurrence.


    Of course, she didn''t stop talking about my dark past.


    In response to that, I coughed and jumped to my feet.


    But the fact that she could talk about it so casually, as a joke, meant that we had become that close.


    The child is acting so playfully; it''s all for the sake of alleviating my guilt.


    Really.


    Everything about her,


    Is too good for me.


    She''s such a good child.


    "Don''t just stand there, come on~ let''s go together!"


    "¡­Uh, okay¡­"


    Rustle, rustle, the cheerful sound of footsteps on fallen leaves.


    Her walking through the forest, holding onto my arm, her long sleeves fluttering in the wind, was a sight so magical it seemed like a scene from a movie.


    But I, who had noticed a slight imbalance in the child''s arm, couldn''t fully enjoy the sight.


    It was hidden by her long sleeve, but if you looked closely, you could see that something was missing from the gap in her clothes.


    Below her elbow, where her wrist should have started. Instead of a wrist, there was a mark, as if it had been bitten off by an animal.


    I wonder what happened.


    I had never asked her directly.


    But it was a day that reminded me of the world''s cruelty.


    "Here it is, here!"


    "....I''m coming."


    I suppressed the rising nausea and smiled, following her lead.


    I couldn''t show the child my ugly side.


    "Ta-da~!"


    "........"


    I fell into a brief contemplation, looking at the pile of flowers she was showing me.


    Hmm.


    So it has been exactly one week today.


    ¡ªSince Alice and I became friends.


    After her declaration of friendship, I somehow managed to pull myself together and apologized for my past actions, banging my head on the ground.


    I knew better than anyone that nothing could truly make up for the wounds I had inflicted.


    But even so, I couldn''t help but apologize.


    I''m sorry.


    I''m so, so sorry.


    No matter how hard I was struggling, no matter how desperate my situation, those weren''t words I should have said to a young child who had nothing to do with my past.


    In front of a child who had lived a life as hard as mine, or perhaps even harder, I was just whining about my own struggles, acting like a spoiled brat.


    But Alice, instead of getting angry, told me her name and asked to be friends, instead of demanding an apology.


    She said that just because someone else was hurting more, didn''t mean my pain wasn''t real.


    She said it was okay for me to be in pain.


    She wanted to share it with me, as friends.


    She asked me to be her first friend.


    She said those words to me, with a charming smile in her eyes.


    I was a sinner, unworthy of even lifting my head, but I couldn''t help but reach out and take her small hand at her sweet words.


    After that, even though we never made a specific promise, the child would wait for me here every day, and I would climb the mountain to find her after finishing my chores.


    A new routine, added to my hamster wheel of a life.


    We would talk about our lives, pick flowers, collect interesting-looking pebbles, and if we felt sleepy, we would lean against each other and take a nap.


    And that routine, naturally became the most anticipated part of my day.


    The reason¡ª


    ¡­ I''m too embarrassed to say it out loud.


    "So... you do it like this...."


    "Uh¡­ It''s difficult¡­"


    "You can do it!"


    I braided the flowers together, combining three or so stems, like braiding hair.


    Little by little, I was carefully weaving them, choosing the arrangement of the flowers as the child instructed me.


    In my past life, I was a city girl who preferred playing with dolls to outdoor activities, and in this life, I was too busy trying to survive to even think about making one¡ªa flower crown.


    I was making a small one with the flowers she had picked.


    "Ugh.... This is hard."


    "You''re doing great~ You''re doing great!"


    It all started with Alice wanting to make a flower crown as a gift for her older sister.


    The child didn''t say anything or show it, but I knew her circumstances, so I immediately understood her difficulty.


    ¡ªHer body wouldn''t allow her to properly make a flower crown.


    I couldn''t bear to watch the child sitting there, frustrated, surrounded by scattered flowers, so I let out a small sigh and decided to help her make the gift.


    Well, I couldn''t exactly call her older sister a stranger, either.


    And so, a few minutes later¡ª


    "...There, it''s done."


    "Wow!! Thank you so much!! You''re the best, Sis Sia!"


    I joined the flower stems that Alice had woven together, forming a circle, and tied a knot.


    As soon as I gave it to her, she started twirling around happily amidst the flowers, overjoyed.


    The child, wearing the flower crown around her neck, beaming with joy.


    And obviously, nothing remained in my hands.


    Only the sight of the child, her face bubbling with happiness, muttering the name of someone I didn''t know, ''Big Sis Elli''.


    "........"


    "Heeheehee!!"


    Seeing the child looking so happy, as if I didn¡¯t even exist, out of her mind¡ª


    I couldn''t help but feel a surge of petty, ugly emotions.


    ¡ªTap, tap, tap.


    My fingernails tapped against each other, creating an unpleasant sound.


    Only after hearing it did I realize I was drumming my nails together.


    But in my heart, thoughts even more unbearable than the sound were raging.


    What if the child didn''t actually like me?


    What if she was planning to abandon me?


    What if I didn''t exist in the eyes of the child who was smiling so brightly¡ª


    ¡ªTap.


    Yes.


    Perhaps, this was an inevitable outcome.


    Someone like me, whom she had only known for a short time, who was nothing but a burden, could never compare to an older sister who was like family, someone who took care of her, right?


    So this is unavoidable¡ª


    "¡ªSis Sia, here!"


    "....Huh?"


    Shwoop.


    Something colorful suddenly appeared in my vision.


    It took me a few seconds to realize it was an object made of flowers.


    "I secretly made it by myself for Sis Sia¡­ But, I''m sorry¡­"


    "...."


    "Heehee, it''s a bit of a mess, isn''t it?"


    A flower crown, too small to wear around the neck.


    I tried it on my wrist, and surprisingly, it fit perfectly.


    The combination of flowers was so beautiful that it could fetch a high price if sold at the market, but the way the stems were woven together, even an amateur like me could see the flaws here and there.


    It was far inferior to the one the child and I had made together¡ª


    "D-Do you not like it?"


    "......"


    "Uuu¡­! I¡¯ll make a new one later¡ª"


    "¡ªNo."


    You don''t need to make a new one.


    I muttered softly and carefully lifted it from my wrist, holding it against my chest.


    Thump, thump.


    The flowers danced gently along with my heartbeat.


    The flames that had been raging just moments ago had died down, leaving only embers behind.


    The child kept looking at my expression, fidgeting anxiously.


    Seeing her like that, the worries I had been agonizing over felt dumb, and a chuckle escaped my lips.


    Honestly.


    This child.


    "..Haha."


    ".....Uuu?"


    "Hahahaha¡ª!!"


    The small chuckle grew louder and louder.


    At the sight of the child tilting her head, confused as to why I¡¯m chuckling, I burst into laughter.


    Alice puffed out her cheeks and demanded an explanation, but I just kept laughing, not telling her the reason.


    I simply pressed her plump cheeks, deflating them, and quickly ran away.


    "¡ªEeeh!!?"


    "Hahahahahaha¡ª!!"


    Tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow.


    If not, every day.


    It seemed certain that I would be subjected to mental attacks from the child using my own quotes, but I thought it wouldn''t be so bad, and I couldn''t help but smile.


    Because being pranked meant that I could still meet the child.


    It meant that our bond would continue.


    "I like this."


    On a chilly day, as the lake began to freeze over, and winter was approaching.


    And on that day, all my hatred melted away like snow.


    Cold, yet warm.


    It was that kind of day.


    **


    ¡ªRustle.


    "...I knew that witch was up to something."


    Behind a thick oak tree.


    Stepping on the pile of fallen leaves that reached his knees, a man was watching the two girls.


    A heartwarming sight that would make anyone smile, the black-haired girl and the silver-haired child rolling around on the ground.


    But in the man''s eyes, there was only disgust.


    "I''ll have to report this to the village head."


    With those words, the man hurriedly left the forest.


    A suspicious man, radiating an aura of ill intent so strong that even someone who believed that everyone in the world was good would sense he was plotting something.


    A great malice was targeting the two girls in the forest.


    But unfortunately, they were oblivious to the approaching darkness, simply enjoying their peaceful time.


    "¡ªHeehee!"


    No, perhaps,


    Except for one, who knew.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 38: Friend.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 38 ¡µ Chapter 38. Friend.


    * * *


    **


    Darkness descends upon the forest, faster than you might expect.


    Especially in autumn, as the sun''s arc across the sky grows lower and lower.


    After parting ways with Sia, I returned to the cabin Elli had built in the forest and recounted the day''s events.


    Elli listened to my every word attentively.


    A model listener.


    The small cabin, which seemed cramped, yet was more than enough for the two of us, was quickly filled with my childish chatter.


    When I first saw her building this house, I was quite surprised.


    Starting with a black-furred wolf, deer, bears, crows, and even feline predators I didn¡¯t recognize appeared one after another and helped her build the house.


    It was jaw-dropping to see them felling trees, piling stones on the ground, hammering and sawing as if they possessed intelligence.


    As I watched them build the house, I patted a cat that approached me.


    Before I knew it, a house stood where there had been an empty lot, and I realized once again that Elli was an extraordinary being.


    You''re amazing, Big Sis.


    "¡ªAnd so, Big Sis Elli, I made this with Sis Sia, just for you!!"


    "Thank you, Alice. Did you have fun today?"


    "Yes!!"


    I fumbled with my hands, clumsily placing the flower crown I had brought on her head.


    Oops, I missed.


    Heehee, I''ll try again.


    ¡ªWell, even though I said "hands," one of them was just a blunt lump of flesh.


    It took a while because my aim was off, but after many attempts, I finally succeeded.


    "Wow!! Big Sis Elli, you look just like a princess!!"


    ".....That''s, kind of you to say."


    Big Sis Elli looks the prettiest when she smiles like this.


    Her face, as she smiled after receiving my gift, was a mixture of joy and regret, affection and sorrow.


    Her eyes, darting back and forth, were focused on my left arm, even I could see it.


    A mangled, uneven surface, as if it had been bitten off by a beast.


    It was the mark left by her, right in front of me.


    Munch, crunch, like that.


    Devoured, so deliciously.


    "Heehee."


    Is she feeling sorry?


    Is she thinking she''s guilty?


    But Big Sis, guilt is something that,


    Even if you go to prison, even if you suffer the same pain, even if you pay for your sins, even if you try to escape through death.


    It can never, ever be repaid.


    There''s no way such a thing is possible, right?


    Just like my scar, which will remain forever, you might be able to turn away from it, but it will never disappear.


    So, Big Sis.


    Don''t, dwell on my wound.


    It''s just something that can''t be repaid, something that can''t be undone.


    Just, admit your mistake and make a firm resolution to never do it again, that''s enough.


    You don''t have to worry about it so much.


    Just let it go, as if it was just something that happened?


    "Heehee! I wish I could always be with Big Sis Elli like this."


    "....I, feel the same way."


    "Really!?"


    I climbed onto her lap as she sat on a chair and swung my legs back and forth.


    Creak, the wooden chair groaned in response to my movements.


    tattak, tattak, the sound blended with the crackling of firewood in the fireplace, creating a melody that filled our small cabin.


    Elli, hugged me tightly.


    So I wouldn''t fall off the chair.


    So I wouldn''t leave her lap.


    "I will protect you, Alice."


    I hear her firm words, filled with a resolute promise, reaching my ears.


    Hearing that, I smiled softly.


    Oh, Big Sis Elli.


    "Yes, I trust you, Big Sis Elli."


    If I don''t trust her, who else could I trust?


    **


    In the long-standing cathedral of Syria Village.


    Small sobs, sighs, and voices filled with fear echoed endlessly.


    "Ah.... Aaah...."


    "The, the holy relic¡­!!"


    In the center of the cathedral.


    There was a holy relic bestowed by the Holy See.


    Or rather, there *had been* one.


    "How could¡­ something like this¡­"


    "F-Father¡ª!!"


    An ancient crucifix, personally brought back by the old priest after an arduous journey to the Holy See in the capital, a requirement that every cathedral possess at least one holy relic.


    It had been carefully encased in glass, protected from any touch.


    And now, it lay there, covered in blemishes, crumbled to white dust.


    The holy crucifix, as if struck by some disease, had crumbled from its core, slowly disintegrating before their very eyes.


    Many people watched the spectacle, their hands clasped in prayer.


    An incomprehensible phenomenon.


    Was it a curse from God?


    Had someone committed an act that incurred God''s wrath?


    The cathedral was filled with commotion.


    The place, which had once accommodated many people, was now a stage for debate.


    "A, a witch..."


    One of them, whispered softly.


    At those words, everyone fell silent.


    Plop.


    It was like a single drop of water falling onto a still surface.


    Small ripples, began to spread outwards.


    Voices of agreement, slowly grew louder.


    "That''s right... A witch!! It must be!"


    "¡ªCome to think of it, the sudden downpour the other day... and the frozen ground!?"


    "Yes... There''s no way the holy relic would crumble like this for no reason!!" Sear?h the N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Madness is a gift from God.


    It transcends customs and traditions, infecting the minds of men.


    No ordinary person can resist a phenomenon created by God.


    It was just a string of bad luck.


    It was just the winter arriving, it was just an unfortunate bout of unusual weather.


    Their weak bodies had easily succumbed to illness because they hadn''t been eating properly, disease spread throughout the village, and the tin had crumbled due to the cold snap, unable to fulfill its purpose. (TL Note: Probably referring to tin pest, fun fact tin was a material that was regularly used in the Middle Ages.)


    But because people couldn''t understand it.


    Because there was someone right in front of them to blame.


    Because small complaints had been piling up.


    Because someone had been seen acting strangely and going to suspicious places lately.


    People''s suspicions and fears became a raging fire, slowly spreading through the madness.


    Misfortune.


    It was just a bit of misfortune.


    **


    Two months.


    A long time, yet a short time.


    Alice and I continued our small meetings.


    Thanks to that, our bond grew stronger than anyone else''s, but conversely, the atmosphere in the village noticeably darkened.


    The villagers locked their doors nervously even for ordinary outings, and easily lost their temper over the smallest things.


    It was inevitable¡ª


    "¡ªThere''s¡­ no work today."


    "What!? Th-That can¡¯t be¡­"


    "Things have gotten bad. Even you, who''s useless, must have heard something, right?"


    Drought, hailstorms, crop failures, famine, unusual weather.


    And recently, a flu-like illness had started spreading.


    Various disasters had struck our village.


    In fact, the signs had been there all along.


    The temperature had dropped significantly, several degrees lower than in previous years.


    As a result, the harvest had gradually dwindled.


    To prepare for this, the villagers had been stockpiling and storing grains.


    But there was no sign of the situation improving even as time passed.


    To make matters worse, just a few days ago, despite it being winter, an untimely downpour had struck the fields where the autumn wheat, sown in late autumn and harvested in early summer, had been planted.


    If only it had ended there.


    A cold snap followed, freezing the ground solid, a truly unprecedented event.


    The small sprouts that had emerged were probably all dead now.


    And with the illness spreading on top of that, I could understand their feelings.


    It seemed like they could somehow manage to endure this year¡­


    But now, even the storage were starting to run empty?


    "Anyway, because of that there''s no work for you."


    "Uuu... Yes, I understand."


    Slam. The front door of the house closed with an unnecessarily loud bang.


    Click, I heard the sound of the door being locked.


    Faced with their cold rejection, as if saying there was no chance, I lowered my tail and left the house empty-handed.


    I had some money in my pocket, enough for a few meals, but it was a pittance compared to the long winter that lay ahead.


    "Seriously... What kind of hardship is this¡­"


    Trudging along, I wandered aimlessly through the village.


    It wasn''t exactly bustling before, but the village, which had at least held some vibrancy, was now like a desolate ghost town.


    And through the small windows, I saw eyes filled with disgust.


    They were watching me, from every window.


    Eyes.


    Eyes eyes eyes.


    Eyes eyes eyes eyes eyes eyes eyes eyes eyes eyes eyes eyes.


    What?


    "......"


    What is this?


    Gulp, I heard the sound of saliva going down my throat, my body tense with anxiety.


    Hostile gazes, filled with animosity.


    You could say it was the usual, but my intuition was warning me.


    Something, was different.


    It was dangerous.


    "...Let''s just, check it out."


    The atmosphere in the village had changed drastically.


    Sensing the unease, I walked onto the main road and discreetly observed the people passing by.


    The few people I saw were gathered in small groups, whispering amongst themselves as if sharing a secret.


    "¡ªIs¡­ ??,?."


    "¡­???,???"


    "??!?"


    What, are they talking about?


    Curious, I approached them, hoping to hear the conversation more clearly.


    But one of the people in the group spotted me and quickly turned and ran.


    Running away.


    He was so fast that he disappeared from sight within seconds.


    ¡­Huh?


    "? ,??? !!"


    "¡ªIt''s her!!"


    Seeing his reaction, everyone else in the group turned to look at me.


    Realizing that I was approaching, they started scattering.


    In a flurry.


    Leaving me all alone.


    Far away.


    Soon, the alley where people had been gathered was empty, except for me.


    A sight, that reminded me of bullying.


    And it seemed, I was the target.


    "....What''s going on?"


    Seriously, what is this?


    Unable to hide my bewilderment, I stood there for a long time, in the spot where they had been.


    Looking around, I saw other people on the street whispering as they saw me.


    As if they had seen something frightening.


    As if they had encountered something filthy.


    Everyone I encountered quickly avoided me or ran away.


    "What¡­ is going on?"


    Outcast.


    It would be a lie to say it hadn''t happened before.


    Well, being abandoned by my parents and having to beg for scraps of food in exchange for labor could be considered bullying too.


    But they at least had a tiny bit of conscience, treating me like a human being, just enough for me to survive.


    Minimal human decency.


    Giving me work and paying me a small amount of money or feeding me in return.


    If it weren''t for that, I would have starved to death.


    But it had never been like this.


    They might have ignored me, but they had never treated me like a monster, openly avoiding me or expressing fear like this.


    They still had some pride, after all.


    But it seemed like that was over.


    This place, where I had lived for over ten years, now felt unfamiliar, like an unknown land, just like when I had first arrived in the village.


    The faces I passed by on the street felt like complete strangers.


    The familiar air of the village, now felt incredibly suffocating.


    "Is this¡­ dangerous?"


    My head was already full of worries about Alice''s arm, and now this was happening too.


    ¡ªThis hand¡­ um, I did something wrong. So Big Sis [punished] me, and it became like this.


    ¡ª¡­..!!!!


    ¡ªI¡­ I was a bad girl¡­ Yeah, but I was forgiven, so it¡¯s okay! Ah, and this is a secret, okay?


    What Alice had told me before, about how her arm had become like that.


    A small detail that I desperately wished was a lie, or that I had misunderstood.


    Having tasted that horrifying glimpse of truth, I wanted to focus on resolving it, but...


    "Ugh¡­ This is driving me crazy."


    My short walk was over.


    For now, I decided to return to the barn, which served as both my bed and my home.


    Let''s sleep on it and think about it later.


    With a relaxed mindset.


    I have no idea what''s going to happen next.


    And so, I went back.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 39: Affection (? ?)

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 39 ¡µ Chapter 39. Affection(? ?).


    * * *


    **


    Perhaps, I never truly accepted this world.


    This world, is a lie.


    Everything I''m feeling now is just a fleeting dream.


    "¡ªWow!! What, is this!?"


    "It''s called an igloo¡­ um, you could say it''s a house made of snow?"


    "Sis Sia is amazing!!"


    Nation. Castle. Ego. Ethnicity. Religion. Knowledge. Beliefs. Language. Values.


    No matter what they are, the essence of ''Han Sia'' will never change.


    It transcended the world, existing alongside my soul.


    Therefore, it couldn''t be helped.


    Unless I abandoned the identity I had built up in my past life, I could never truly blend into this world.


    If the world rejects my essence, then I will reject the world.


    With that conviction, I had lived my life, and this world remained an unfamiliar place.


    "Heave-ho! It''s a sled¡ª!!"


    "Kyaaaaaaaaaaa!!"


    "Hold on tight¡ª!!"


    Perhaps the choice made by the parents who abandoned me in this world, whose names and faces I no longer remember, was the right one.


    Because I could never have accepted them as my true parents, no matter what.


    They abandoned me first, before I could abandon them.


    It was just that kind of boring story.


    Yes.


    If only everything had ended there, how nice would that be?


    If only that had been the epilogue to my new life, how wonderful would that be?


    But ridiculously.


    Pathetically, even to myself.


    I, who had been rejected¡ª


    No. From this world that I had rejected¡ª


    "Now, let''s play with this today!"


    I craved, even just a little, affection.


    Swish, swish.


    "Go in! Go in! Go in¡ª!!"


    "...This child, she has an incredible talent for curling¡­!?" (TL Note: Curling is where you slide a rock or something onto a hole or target, on ice, of course.)


    "It went in!!! Heeheehee!"


    Our meeting place, now covered in a blanket of snow.


    The mountainside, where a cold wind blew.


    Alice waited for me every day, beaming a bright smile, unfazed by the biting cold.


    And today was no different.


    The child''s face, her snow-white skin and silvery hair, a color that even the pure white snow couldn''t completely conceal.


    Seeing her unearthly beauty, I had a funny thought, wouldn''t people believe me if I said Alice was a snow fairy straight out of a fantasy world?


    Well, it actually seems quite plausible.


    "It was fun today, too."


    "This is so much fun~!!"


    Even though I looked different from others.


    Even though I introduced new games and knowledge, the origins of which were unknown.


    She accepted all of me, that''s the kind of friend she was.


    My one and only, Alice.


    "Heehee~!!"


    "Hahaha¡ª!!"


    We embraced each other, sharing our warmth.


    Perhaps, our body heat couldn''t reach each other, blocked by the thick layers of clothing we wore.


    But the warmth rising from deep within my heart told me that our actions weren''t meaningless.


    Yes.


    This was it.


    This was it all along.


    I had always yearned for it.


    Affection(?), love(?), fondness(?), relationships(?).


    I wanted to receive what we commonly call love.


    A life abandoned by my parents, a life where kind neighbors didn''t exist.


    I, who had crawled on the ground and lived a miserable life, desperately trying to avoid being abandoned by them.


    I had thought that I deserved at least that much, after working so hard in this rotten world.


    "Ah. This is, really nice."


    But I was wrong.


    Love wasn''t something you simply received from someone.


    That''s right.


    I was wrong from the beginning.


    ''Sis Sia¡ª!! I missed you!!!''


    ''Alice¡ª!!''


    To understand and help others, to miss them.


    ''Eh? Sis, are you hurt somewhere!? Let me see!!''


    ''Waaah¡­ bl-blow on it¡­ Alice¡­¡¯


    ''Huu¡­ Huu¡­ Hmm? Why are you smiling, Sis?''


    To cherish someone, to hold them dearer than your own life.


    ''Ta-da! I found a heart-shaped stone while thinking about you, it''s a present!!''


    ''.......''


    ''Hmm..? Sis, are you crying?''


    ''N-No¡­ I''m not¡­¡¯


    And to truly enjoy all of that.


    No one defines love as something you receive.


    It''s only natural. Sear?h the nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    If you want to be loved, love.


    Just like that saying, love isn''t about receiving, but giving.


    Autumn and winter.


    Two seasons that passed by faster than ever.


    Snow, falling heavily, blanketing the world in its own color as if trying to engulf everything.


    I tasted that sweet coldness, and I prayed.


    That I could return at least half, no, even a fraction of the affection I had received from the child standing before me, a sight as beautiful as a painting.


    An affection so precious, its value immeasurable.


    Even though I was a person with nothing to boast about, I wanted to give back to this child.


    So¡ª


    ''This hand¡­''


    When I heard Alice''s small answer to my question about her injury.


    When she spoke in a voice devoid of any darkness, as if it were a happy memory, a joyous occasion¡ªwhen I heard that confession, so heartbreaking, so ugly, so repulsive that I wanted to look away.


    ".....I see."


    I was overwhelmed by a sense of horror, but at the same time, a small happiness enveloped me.


    That I could finally repay the child.


    That I could give, not just receive.


    That even someone like me, could love.


    That''s what I thought.


    **


    "¡ªWake up¡­ come on, wake up¡­!!"


    "....Uh¡­ U-Uwah?"


    ¡ªThump. Thump. Thump.


    The urgent sound of someone banging on the door reached my ears as I slept.


    Rustle, rustle, I rolled over on the pile of straw, getting up to greet the annoying visitor who was calling my name so desperately.


    I think I move too quickly. A few straws fell to the floor. Ugh, I''ll have to clean it later.


    Yes~ I''m coming, coming.


    Despite my words, the knocking only intensified.


    "¡ªHan! Wake up, quickly!!"


    "...Uh... Rumi?"


    The moment I heard her voice, I knew who it was.


    In the first place, there was practically no one who would bother coming to this small barn to see me, and I had heard that voice many times before.


    Rumi.


    But that only fueled my curiosity.


    The urgency and desperation in her voice.


    It was so chaotic, I couldn''t believe it was the same Rumi who was always calm and collected.


    "...Did something happen?"


    I quickly fixed my messy hair, threw on some clothes, and headed for the door to greet her.


    Even though she could have just waited a moment, Rumi kept calling my name, demanding I open the door, even after hearing me say I was coming.


    Uwaaa¡­


    I''m coming out now, I''m coming.


    Less than a minute later, the barn door opened.


    ¡ªClick.


    "¡ªYou''re slow!!"


    The sound of the locked door opening was faint and anticlimactic, compared to the loud banging.


    And at the same time, as if she had been waiting, Rumi, breathing heavily, rushed in.


    I was surprised to see her covered in sweat, but Rumi didn''t give me a moment to react and started talking.


    And her words were enough to send my mind to Andromeda.


    "Han, get out of this village, now!!"


    "...Eh...?"


    "No time for talking!! Don''t even think about packing anything, just get out of here, quickly!!"


    ....Huh?


    Unable to process her words, I just stood there, dumbfounded.


    Grab, Rumi''s strong hand seized my collar.


    My body, still weak from having just woken up, was dragged along by her firm grip.


    I wanted to act like a rational human being and resolve this through conversation, but Rumi silenced me with a glare, her eyes bloodshot.


    It was too scary to resist.


    Hngg¡­


    When I asked what was going on, Rumi didn''t answer, just barked orders.


    What''s going on?


    Get out of this village.


    Why?


    You don''t need to know.


    What should I do¡­?


    Just run, as fast as you can.


    It was like talking to a wall.


    Well, her chest is like a wall¡­ ahem.


    Her explanation was lacking, and I couldn''t find any clues in her words to understand what was happening in the village.


    But at the words of Rumi, the closest thing I had to a friend in this village, I left my haven without even grabbing a few necessities.


    Well, I didn''t think she would do anything to harm me.


    She was the only person in this village I could rely on.


    It was that kind of trust that made it possible.


    **


    Tap, tap, tap-tap.


    Early morning, before the sun had even risen.


    The sound of our footsteps, mine and Rumi''s, echoed through the empty village.


    "...There''s no one here? Where did everyone go?"


    "........"


    The streets were deserted, not a soul in sight, even though it was the time when people should have been most active, it felt like an ominous foreshadowing of something to come.


    Like yesterday, when countless eyes stared at me with a cold, lifeless gaze, sending shivers down my spine.


    No, it was even stronger, a greater sense of unease.


    Overwhelmed by the feeling that my head was about to explode, I asked Rumi why we were doing this, as I ran alongside her.


    Couldn''t she at least tell me the reason or the circumstances?


    ".....Haa."


    Her lips remained tightly sealed, but she finally gave in at my persistent whining.


    Just because there''s a goalkeeper, doesn''t mean you can''t score a goal.


    "So, what''s going on? At least, tell me the reason¡ª"


    I seized the opportunity, taking advantage of the opening.


    An act, that could be called effort if I wanted to.


    The answer I received was something beyond my wildest all my expectations.


    "¡ªWitch hunt."


    "Huh?"


    "Or rather, a witch trial."


    What, trial?


    I muttered the short word, confused.


    Even though I had clearly heard it with my own ears, my brain couldn''t process it.


    What did a trial and a hunt have to do with us running like this?


    And what about a witch?


    Is it the witch I know?


    Does that, have anything to do with me?


    I desperately tried to understand the words I had heard, but I just stood there, dumbfounded, still unable to grasp the situation.


    "Listen carefully, Han. The villagers are suspecting you of being a ''witch''."


    "M¡­Me...?"


    A witch¡­


    ¡­Who?


    ¡­Me?


    "I have a rough plan to deal with this, Han. For now, you¡ª"


    The more I heard Rumi¡¯s explanation, the dizzier I felt.


    My breathing became rapid, and the edges of my vision seemed to be darkening.


    What, is she talking about?


    What is happening to me?


    Rumi''s words, spoken urgently and coldly, were too much for my dumb brain to fully comprehend.


    But I understood one thing.


    This situation, was very bad.


    The worst possible thing that could happen.


    The horrifying death I had experienced in my first life.


    And something comparable to that worst-case scenario, was about to happen in my second life.


    And.


    "You need to run now¡ª"


    It was.


    "¡ªFound her. The witch is here!!!"


    ""......!!""


    Happening now.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 40: Betrayal.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 40 ¡µ Chapter 40. Betrayal.


    * * *


    **


    It was a torch.


    A torch made of a thick piece of wood, a broken crucifix, a spear with a sharpened end, all wrapped in oil-soaked cloth.


    Drip, drip.


    Burning oil dripped from the cloth, falling to the ground, one drop at a time.


    "It''s the witch¡ª!!"


    "....Tch."


    "....Ah... Aaah..."


    The shout of the person who found me. And at the same time, the narrow alley I was in was instantly blocked off by a surge of people.


    The flames they carried illuminated the dark alley, even though the sun hadn''t risen yet, bathing it in a crimson glow.


    It was an overwhelming change, hard to believe it was caused by a single person''s shout.


    As what seemed like a hundred villagers marched towards me in formation, I could only whimper softly and hide behind Rumi.


    No matter how hard I tried to be brave, my true nature was that of a coward.


    "R..Rumi...!"


    "....Han."


    I wanted to ask her if this was a joke, if so then she had gone too far.


    But the stark fear and disgust in their eyes told me that this situation was beyond a mere ''joke''.


    Witch, hunt.


    The words rolled off my tongue, slowly swirling in my mouth.


    What, hunt?


    What did I do?


    I was just living my life, desperately trying to survive, like always....!!


    One step, another step.


    My back hunched lower and lower with each step they took towards me.


    All I could do was look at Rumi, standing in front of me, with pleading eyes.


    "¡ªHan, listen carefully."


    "....Y-Yes...Yes!"


    A glimmer of hope.


    A faint glimmer of hope appeared on my face.


    Rumi''s words brought me a sense of relief.


    She had said before that she had a way to resolve this.


    Yes, she must have a solution.


    Rumi, the only person in this village I trusted, the only person who wouldn''t harm me.


    Because I believed that¡ª


    "¡ªStay put."


    "....Huh?"


    Thud.


    When Rumi said those words to me, my hand still clinging to hers.


    With a small shock, our hands separated and I watched Rumi¡¯s body, which had been in front of me, distance itself from me.


    When the villagers, as if waiting for that moment, charged towards me like a herd of angry bulls and grabbed me.


    I couldn''t think.


    "Ru....mi...?"


    "¡ªGood job, Rumi!!"


    Crunch.


    I was just pushed to the ground, my whole body bound with ropes so I couldn''t move.


    A dirty, foul-smelling cloth was stuffed into my mouth, making it hard to breathe, suffocating me.


    ".....¡ª?"


    *Why,* I muttered the word that couldn''t escape my lips.


    I could only stare blankly at Rumi.


    Hoping that she would say something.


    Hoping that she would tell me this was all a plan.


    Hoping that she would tell me this was all a lie.


    I desperately wished for it.


    "......."


    But Rumi didn''t say anything to me.


    She just gave me a cold smile, chilling me to the bone.


    **


    "Ha ha! Rumi, you brought the witch here so she couldn''t escape!!"


    "........"


    "You''re not cursed or anything, are you? I heard that witches leave behind nasty curses when they''re in danger."


    I was surrounded by torches, their flames threatening to engulf me, my body bound and restrained.


    The ropes tightened painfully with the slightest movement, my mouth gagged with a thick cloth.


    The stench that filled my nostrils with every breath.


    This, was torture.


    "......!!"


    "¡ªDon''t move!"


    With every small movement, the glares and shouts directed at me grew colder.


    It was all unbearable, but¡ª


    "...It''s okay, nothing happened, Village Head."


    "Ha ha, that''s good to hear!!"


    The most painful thing was the bitter betrayal of the friend I had trusted.


    "......"


    Rumi, why?


    Why did you, abandon me like this?


    Were you just like them after all?


    Were you just using me, looking down on me, pretending to be my friend?


    Thoughts, even though they have no form, transformed into sharp blades and pierced my heart.


    More than the tightening ropes, more than the painful stones thrown by some of the villagers, the pain of being abandoned by the person I had trusted was unbearable.


    At this moment, I was so grateful for the innkeeper''s skill in gagging me with that cloth.


    If my mouth were free.


    I would have bitten my tongue and died.


    "¡ªWe found the witch, as you requested, Village Head."


    "Yes, you brought her here, Rumi. Your bravery will be remembered for generations to come. Ha ha!"


    If I could cry tears of blood, I would.


    If I could tear out my heart and show them, a heart riddled with knife wounds, I would.


    If I could pry open my brain and erase my memories, I would do it a thousand times over.


    That''s how agonizing her betrayal was.


    "¡ªNo."


    "......!!"


    That''s why, when her denial came, I rejoiced.


    Drip, drip, like a long-awaited rain after a drought.


    The parched earth, my heart, cracked and dry, began to absorb the small raindrops.


    But it was a mistake.


    A small amount of water falling on cracked earth only widens the fissures.


    I didn''t know that.


    I was, truly foolish.


    "¡ªI found the [real] witch."


    "....What are you talking about, Rumi?"


    Rumi''s confession.


    The villagers were thrown into confusion.


    Those who had been throwing stones at me, those who had held their torches close as if to burn me alive, all turned to look at Rumi with disbelief.


    As if they couldn''t believe it.


    As if they couldn''t accept it.


    "It''s obvious, isn''t it? There''s no way that dimwit could cast such a powerful curse."


    "But¡ª"


    "And this ''monster'' has been here for over ten years, there''s no reason for her to suddenly start causing trouble now, is there? Don''t you agree, Mrs. Redao?"


    "...Th-That''s is true"


    Rumi, with her strong charisma, swayed the hearts of the villagers in an instant.


    Her eyes sparkled with conviction, her words flowed out confidently, and even without any physical evidence, it was enough to lend credibility to her claims.


    But even so, perhaps because their lives, or the safety of their village, were at stake.


    Some still insisted that it was my fault.


    That it would be better to blame me.


    That it would be better to catch the certain culprit than chase after an uncertain guess.


    "But Rumi, there''s no one else who could have done this except for this monster¡ª"


    "¡ªThere is."


    "...What, did you say?"


    "I said, there is a witch."


    And those who had been arguing, were silenced.


    "........"


    I still didn''t understand what was happening, why I was being subjected to this ordeal.


    I could only vaguely guess that something had happened in the village, and the blame was being shifted onto me.


    So when Rumi claimed that I wasn''t the culprit, I felt relieved.


    Just untie these ropes, quickly.


    I don''t even know what a witch is, but I''m not one.


    I''ll forgive you all, so can we just go back?


    Because all I could think about was, I wanted to rest. sea??h th§× nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    "¡ªRecently, no, for the past two months, there''s been a child who''s been enticing Han."


    ".....What?"


    I didn''t foresee that my salvation would become my worst nightmare.


    I didn''t even imagine that this would be far more terrifying than being accused of being the culprit.


    At that moment, I was shamefully relieved.


    So much so that I wanted to kill myself.


    "According to Han, the child lives deep in the mountains where those beasts reside, deliberately avoiding being seen by people."


    "...Is that true?"


    "Yes, it''s true! You''ve seen the strange carcasses of those animals lately, haven''t you? It must be the witch''s doing. There''s no one else. You all know that she doesn''t go out at night, right?"


    The story was taking a strange turn.


    Those words made me forget to even breathe for a moment.


    I was admittedly oblivious, and not particularly smart, but even I could understand that this situation was going awry.


    What are you, talking about, Rumi?


    Rumi... that''s not true, is it?


    It''s not, right?


    Rumi?


    ¡­


    Stop it, now.


    Stop it, I said.


    I screamed those words.


    ".....¡ª!!!!! ????!!!!"


    "Hey!? She''s going crazy!"


    "¡ªIt must be the curse that the witch cast! Don''t untie her gag, no matter what!"


    "Uh¡­ Uh, okay, Rumi!"


    Thump, thump, I struggled, trying to break free from the ropes.


    I thrashed around, screaming, trying to cause a scene, so that they wouldn''t hear Rumi''s words.


    I crawled on the ground, I roared, I slammed my head against the dirt.


    Dirt got in my eyes, and the hard, rough ground scraped mercilessly against my face, but I couldn''t feel any of it.


    Because the only thing I could think about was, I had to stop this madness, I had to shut Rumi''s mouth.


    I made a new friend.


    I finally had someone precious to me.


    The precious memories, shared only between me and Alice, a secret I had only told Rumi in this entire village.


    "¡ªShe even said they sang together in the forest after sunset!"


    "Good heavens..!! That''s...."


    Rumi was twisting those memories, talking about them as if they were something strange.


    "It''s true! Han, she''s just a victim, manipulated by the witch. The real culprit, is that ''witch'', isn''t it?"


    "....The¡­real.."


    "If we don''t kill the real witch, this will just keep happening, won''t it?"


    "You''re right, that makes sense."


    Their eyes, no longer looked at me, writhing on the ground.


    They didn''t react to my screams.


    All the torches were raised high, pointing towards the mountainside, as if indicating they were ready to move.


    All their hostility, directed towards that place.


    At that moment, I realized what Rumi had meant.


    When she said she had a way to resolve this.


    When she said I would be okay.


    I understood, so painfully, so clearly.


    ".....??????!!!!!!!"


    "......The witch might have cursed Han, so keep the ropes tied tightly."


    "...Uh¡­ um, got it, Rumi."


    "...Yes, let''s go now."


    The woman who had approached to untie my ropes, thinking the situation had been resolved and that I wasn''t the culprit.


    But Rumi stopped her with a firm voice.


    To prevent me from defending myself.


    To pin all the blame on the child.


    ¡ªTo save me, by sacrificing the child.


    "????!!"


    What are you even talking about?


    Let me go.


    Untie this, I said.


    You know it wasn''t her, it wasn¡¯t that child.


    Why, are you doing this....!!


    "??,??!!"


    But no matter how much I screamed.


    No matter how much strength I exerted, a strength I had never possessed before.


    No matter how much I struggled, trying to break free from their grasp and escape.


    I couldn''t break the thick ropes that bound me.


    "......Then, shall we all go, together?"


    Whoosh, despite my pleading eyes, she turned her head away without a word.


    Her hair, illuminated by the rising sun, was even redder than the flames burning beside us.


    Rumi slowly walked forward, leading the villagers.


    I could only watch, my movements sealed, my heart sinking.


    Rumi walked through the burning crosses, raised high as if ready to march.


    And behind her, the procession followed.


    "¡ªTo catch the [real] witch."


    A long procession of people, ready to hunt a witch.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 41: Snare.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 41 ¡µ Chapter 41. Snare.


    * * *


    **


    Find the meaning of life.


    Words that anyone living in this world might hear or see at least once.


    What is the meaning of the life we''re living, why do we exist here, does everything in the world truly have a meaning?


    The nagging of those who have never even come close to understanding it, telling us to find it.


    Honestly,


    "¡ªIt''s boring."


    Snap, I plucked a flower that had bloomed nearby.


    A snowdrop, its three white petals unfurled, its stem drooping like a bell, standing out amidst the white canvas of the snow-covered field. (TL Note: Real flower btw)


    Whirl, whirl, the drooping petals spun in the wind, following the movement of my slender finger.


    As I let loose my finger from the stem, the flower was carried away by the wind.


    It would land silently on the thick layer of snow, its short life ending without leaving a trace of its existence.


    It would face a lonely death, forgotten by all.


    "¡ªBeautiful."


    Life is so fragile it can be extinguished with a single touch of a child''s hand, so does it really have any meaning?


    Did this flower, have any meaning?


    Maybe the meaning they say is embedded in everything in the world, doesn''t actually exist.


    It was a sight that made me think that way.


    ¡ªCrunch, crunch.


    "Hmm¡­ I wonder when Sis Sia will come~?"


    That''s why, people might not be able to find meaning in their lives.


    Big Sis Elli, too.


    Sis Sia, too.


    They''re all searching for a needle in a desert.


    A needle that doesn''t even exist.


    But the day will come when they realize.


    That meaning, like the white flower that will remain forever in my memory, blossoms brilliantly between one being and another.


    That it''s not a beautiful thing hidden away like treasure, something we can find if we just try hard enough.


    That it''s something we have to create.


    "¡ªI''m, really looking forward to it."


    I''m just waiting for that day.


    With so much, joy.


    Feeling the strange texture beneath my feet as I walked across the small, pristine field, I thought to myself.


    I hope everyone I know can live a beautiful life.


    For the buds that haven''t bloomed yet, I asked for the strength to be their warm sun that will help them blossom brilliantly.


    I silently prayed to the wind.


    And¡ª


    Step, step.


    "You must be, Alice."


    ".....Who, are you?"


    When a mysterious girl appeared from the depths of the forest, at the spot where Sia used to walk every day, I instinctively knew.


    That the time had come, sooner than I expected.


    **


    It was someone I had never seen before.


    A girl about Sia''s age, with hair as green as fresh grass.


    Sia often called me a fairy, but perhaps the real fairy was the girl before me. That''s how dreamlike and otherworldly her presence was.


    There''s no way I wouldn''t remember such a distinctive girl, I, who knew the faces and names of everyone I had met in my long life. And yet, she knew me.


    How embarrassing.


    ''Alice''.


    Very few people knew that name.


    Only Elli and Sia, just the two of them.


    Well, if I put everything together, the answer is clear.


    She must be someone Sia knows.


    "Han sent me."


    As if confirming my thought, a name I knew very well came out of her mouth.


    She was probably calling Sia ''Han'', using her last name.


    Hearing a familiar name, I, who had been standing back a little, approached her, bouncing around like a kitten who had just let down its guard.


    "¡ªReally!?"


    ".....!!"


    Contrary to earlier when she was approaching me, she actually stepped back a little.


    Feeling a slight pang of disappointment at her avoidance, I started asking her questions.


    "¡ªSis Sia did? The pretty older sister with green hair... Ah! Then you must be Rumi, the Rumi that Sis Sia told me about!!"


    "¡­Yes, that¡¯s right. I¡¯m Rumi. Sia sent me."


    "Wow!"


    Rumi.


    The only person in the village she could trust, she had said.


    Everyone in the village was bullying Sia.


    Even if it was only in places hidden from others'' eyes, the fact that she reached out and helped someone who was being bullied meant that this older sister must have considerable affection for Sis Sia.


    It seemed Sis Sia was still oblivious.


    Even though her closest friend has always been by her side, continuing to be there.


    Through thick and thin, always by her side.


    Sis Sia didn''t realize how courageous an act that was.


    She had a very small chest, and I''m not sure if it was proportionate, but she was also quite a nag¡ª she was very much like the person Sia had described.


    Of course, the person in question let out a small sigh after hearing my words, but still.


    Why?


    They really suit each other.


    "Uh, uhm? But why are you here, Rumi? Did Sis Sia not come with you?"


    "......Ah, that''s right. There''s something I have to tell you on her behalf."


    Her green eyes looked down at me, a child with a head full of curiosity.


    But the strong will contained in her eyes showed that she didn''t come to me simply to pass on a friend''s message, as it wasn''t the kind of thing to show to a young child.


    What message was she carrying that she was so determined.


    I really wanted to know.


    "Heehee~ What is it!?"


    I smiled softly.


    I felt anticipation bubbling inside me, excited about the interesting events that awaited.


    It felt like my body was being filled with sweet honey.


    She had come to relay a message from my one and only precious friend in this life, of course, I would listen to anything she had to say.


    Yes, yes. Of course, I should.


    Of course, I had to believe her.


    ¡ªEven if it turns out to be a lie.


    I sat there quietly, waiting for her red lips to part, my heart pounding with anticipation.


    And then, the story began.


    "Yesterday, Sia got hurt¡ª"


    Really?


    Sis Sia, got hurt?


    "She said her leg hurts, and she asked if you could come down to the foot of this mountain."


    Haha.


    I see.


    That''s, really unfortunate.


    It''s so sad, it almost makes me cry.


    "¡ªEh!? Sis Sia did!! Where did she get hurt? Does it, hurt a lot?"


    "...It''s okay, it''s not a serious injury. So, she''s probably waiting for you at the foot of the mountain, to play together, right?"


    With those words, Rumi extended a hand towards me.


    To me, that hand looked like the open jaws of a predator, ready to swallow its prey.


    A hand like a quagmire, once you step in, there''s no escape.


    That hand, stopped right in front of me.


    A forest, is a place where life breaths.


    And yet, her beautiful green eyes, reminiscent of a forest, ironically held no sign of life.


    They were like a burned-out forest, shrouded in darkness.


    Only a dangerous forest, holding its breath, waiting for new prey to satisfy its hunger, existed within her eyes.


    It was terrifying, really.


    "Umm... But, Big Sis said I shouldn''t leave this mountain¡ª"


    "¡ªIt''s okay. It''s just down there, a short distance. We''ll be there if we just go down a little."


    "Uuu... Then, let''s go together!"


    Swish.


    I slowly placed my hand in Rumi''s outstretched hand.


    Her hand, unlike her warm words, was freezing cold.


    My body heat was being drained away by that hand..


    "........"


    I don''t know what she was thinking, but she silently watched my hand for a few seconds.


    But only for a moment.


    As if gathering her resolve, Rumi bit her lip hard and gripped my hand tightly.


    A small drop of blood, fell from her lip onto the white canvas of the snow.


    Was that drop of blood, an apology to me?


    Or was it to punish herself, for being swayed by someone like me?


    Whatever it was, I silently blessed her firm resolve.


    You have such a strong conviction, Sis.


    You¡¯re truly amazing.


    "Heehee~"


    "........"


    Squeeze, our hands, clasped together tightly, wouldn''t come apart anytime soon.


    Two sets of footprints were imprinted on the pristine snow.


    One coming, two leaving.


    I wonder if the reverse, will also be true.


    **


    There was a small clearing at the edge of the forest.


    The clearing was densely overgrown with tall trees and various plants.


    Dense enough to hide people crouching low, rendering them invisible.


    And in that clearing, I saw a small figure kneeling.


    It was Sia.


    "¡ª?,????!!!!"


    "Huh? Is that, Sis Sia over there?"


    ".....Yes."


    A sense of unease, emanating from afar.


    An unpleasant sensation, like needles pricking my skin.


    A place where malice had taken form, materialized.


    And in the center of it all, stood Sia.


    As I walked towards her, hand in hand with Rumi, I could see why Sia was kneeling there in such an unnatural position.


    A brown rope was wrapped around her entire body, and a taut rope stretched from her neck to a nearby tree, preventing her from moving.


    As if she were a wild beast that needed to be restrained.


    She probably didn''t choose to be in that position.


    Aha.


    So that''s what''s going on.


    Something interesting happened while I was gone.


    Did Sia notice me too?


    She lifted her head, which had been bowed, and frantically twisted her body, trying to convey something to me.


    The more she struggled, the tighter the ropes binding her became, constricting her.


    That sight, made me feel a twinge of sympathy.


    "¡ª?!! ?????!!!!"


    "Huh? Sis Sia, are you tied up? Why?"


    "I wonder. I''m not sure either¡­ Shouldn¡¯t you go and untie her? Don''t you, think so?"


    "Hmm? Okay!!"


    Rumi gently nudged my back.


    I stumbled forward, glanced back at her briefly, and then ran towards Sia, my short legs working hard.


    One step.


    Another step.


    "¡ª??,????!!!!"


    The closer I got to Sia, the more frantically she shook her head, shouting something I couldn''t understand.


    With pleading eyes, on the verge of tears, she was desperately trying to reach me.


    Unaware that, her actions only made me want to untie her even more.


    Hmm?


    What are you, saying?


    Don''t come?


    Run away, quickly?


    Is that what you''re trying to say?


    Heehee, I''m sorry, Sis.


    ¡ªI can''t hear you at all.


    But something was covering her mouth, ropes were binding her body, preventing her wishes from coming true.


    How painful, how agonizing it must have been, unable to speak, unable to move.


    I wasn''t a bad person who would ignore her plight.


    "¡ªSis Sia!!"


    "¡ª???!!!!!"


    When I reached her, Sia''s appearance was a mess.


    Her eyes, darting anxiously, were bloodshot, and the cloth that seemed to be gagging her mouth was dripping with saliva.


    First, to free that mouth, I raised my only arm with a hand.


    "¡ª??!! ???!! ?????!!!"


    "Uh, ah? Sorry, Sis, I''ll untie you quickly!!"


    "¡ª???!!!!!"


    The tightly tied knot was too difficult to untie with one hand.


    But there was no other way, so I had no choice but to try my best, I fumbled with my small hand diligently trying to loosen it. S~ea??h the n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Well, Sia''s head shaking and struggling only made it harder.


    Run away.


    Please, turn around.


    She kept pleading with me.


    In Sia''s eyes, I saw the reflection of a man holding a long stick, standing behind the fidgeting child.


    A dark shadow loomed over me as I worked on untying Sia¡¯s ropes.


    Oh, I was worried for nothing.


    The target wasn''t Sia, but me.


    Of course, I had expected this, but still, it was a relief.


    In her eyes, I saw the stick behind the child being raised.


    Higher and higher.


    And even higher.


    As if to say there was no room for forgiveness or mercy, it rose like it was trying to pierce the sky.


    In sync with this, Sia''s eyes were gradually filled with despair.


    The raised stick finally reached its limit and slowly began its descent.


    Bound by the laws of physics, the object fell rapidly, cutting through the air.


    But the child, her hand busy untying the ropes, had no way of knowing¡ª


    ¡ªThwack.


    "Almost th?AAAAAh!!!?"


    "¡ª???!!!!"


    Bright red blood, splattered like flower petals.


    **


    ¡ªCaw, caw.


    The crow, witnessing the scene, let out a small cry and quickly spread its wings.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 42: Testimony.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 42 ¡µ Chapter 42. Testimony.


    * * *


    **


    A powerful shock, unlike anything I had ever felt before, struck my head.


    Like watered-down red paint soaking a drawing paper, fresh blood trickled down my head, slowly spreading, creating a small painting on the ground.


    "¡ö¡ö,¡ö¡ö¡ö??"


    "¡ö¡ö¡ö ¡ö,¡ö¡ö!"


    A sharp, piercing noise filled my ears.


    My vision swayed, my legs gave way, and I couldn''t help but collapse to the ground, unable to regain my senses.


    Even so, my hand, clenched tight as if refusing to let go of its target, successfully achieved its initial objective, removing the cloth that was gagging Sia''s mouth.


    I wanted to praise my own hand, even though it was a part of me.


    The cool snow on the ground was enough to soothe the burning sensation on my head.


    I let out a small sigh, experiencing the incomplete sensation.


    "¡öhat ¡ö¡ö are you ¡ö¡ö?!!!!"


    "Ju¡ö sav¡ö the village, ¡öom a ¡öitch."


    My hearing gradually returned, and I started to pick up bits and pieces of their conversation.


    It seemed they had decided that I was the ''culprit'' of something and that I was the cause of the current situation.


    Of course, I didn''t know why they thought I was the culprit, or why Sia''s treatment seemed no different from mine, even though I was supposedly the guilty one.


    But one thing was for sure, they had used Sia as bait to lure me out.


    I clutched my throbbing head, trying to endure the pain as I curled up into a ball.


    "...Ah... Aaaah... It hurts..."


    "¡ªThe wit¡ö feels pain t¡ö? That''s, quite interesting."


    Thump, thump.


    Footsteps, cold and mechanical, devoid of any emotion, reached my ears.


    An old man with a neatly trimmed white beard appeared, parting the crowd surrounding me and Sia.


    Unlike his kind appearance, the old man''s words held no mercy.


    No, maybe he was the type to be just as cruel to his enemies as he is kind to his allies.


    I managed to turn my head and look at him, and in his eyes, I saw it being so full of hatred that it was overflowing.


    "AliCeEe!! RuMi, unTie ThIs! uNtIE mE nOW!!!"


    "So, is this child really a witch ¡ª Rumi? I was skeptical when you said you¡¯d lured her out alone, but you really did it. Quite impressive."


    "...Yes, Village Head. This child is the witch."


    Well, I had expected it.


    It seemed Rumi had planned everything, tying up Sia and luring me out.


    By the way, ''witch''... It''s been a really long time since I''ve been called that.


    In the past, I used to be called that a lot.


    "According to the records, witches are said to have a distinctive mark. Let''s have a look."


    ".....Yes."


    Tug, my hair, which Elli had always been so eager to praise, was yanked by someone''s hand(Rumi).


    The pain of my scalp being torn made me thrash my legs, which had no strength, desperately trying to sit up.


    The screams from my mouth and the cries bursting from Sia''s mouth upon watching my pathetic struggles blended together, filling the forest with our anguish.


    "Kyaaaaaaaaaaah¡ª!!! Aah... Ah..it hurts¡­.it,hurts!"


    "....I won''t apologize."


    "Rumi, you''re not this kind of person! Please, please don''t do this!!!"


    "¡ªNo, I have to."


    But Sia''s resistance, bound and unable to move, and mine, without even the strength to break a twig, was nothing but a feeble struggle.


    Our resistance was nothing but a minor inconvenience to those with convictions stronger than their own lives.


    They wouldn''t even bat an eye at the price they had to pay.


    "No¡­.nO, sTOp iT, RuMI!!!"


    "...."


    Rip, rip.


    Despite the pleas to stop, Rumi''s delicate fingers relentlessly tore at my clothes.


    With a riiiiiiiip, the fabric tore along its grain, and my top was soon reduced to mere rags, no longer serving its purpose.


    And finally, it was revealed.


    "....Huh..!!"


    "¡ªThis is¡­"


    "The mark¡­ of a witch¡­!!"


    Whoosh.


    The cold winter wind, unfiltered by any fabric, tickled my upper body.


    Everyone surrounding me gasped, as if witnessing something horrifying, as if they had seen something they couldn''t unsee.


    And Sia, kneeling right in front of me, staring at me, was no exception.


    No.


    Rather, the shock seemed to be twice as intense for her.


    For a moment, silence fell upon us.


    As everyone stared at the gruesome scars and wounds, speechless, the old man called the Village Head was the first to snap out of his daze and approached me.


    "...This, there''s no need to even question it¡­.But, I''ll ask you anyway. Are you a ''witch''?"


    "....Wi....tch....?"


    "Are you the ''witch'' who cursed our village, ruined our fields, sang strange songs, destroyed the holy relic, and plunged our people into despair¡ªthat''s what I''m asking."


    The Village Head''s voice was now bubbling with boiling hatred.


    He listed the strange events that had occurred in the village, asking if I was the cause of all their misfortunes.


    I shook my head frantically, using my whole body, denying his accusation.


    With the movement, blood that hadn''t dried yet dripped from my head.


    "¡­Don''t, know¡­I''m¡­not¡­I¡¯m not¡­a bad, girl¡­¡±


    "¡­Hmm, you¡¯re denying it, are you?"


    I denied the accusations.


    Isn''t that obvious? I didn''t do it, I really didn¡¯t.


    But it seemed my denial displeased the Village Head, and he scowled, turning to look at Sia, who was crying before me.


    As the Village Head''s gaze shifted to Sia, Rumi, who was holding my head up, flinched despite not being the one he was looking at.


    Oh?


    In that interesting situation, almost like a comedy skit, I was able to piece together all the puzzle pieces.


    What had happened to them.


    Why Sia was tied up like this.


    Why Rumi had lied to lure me here.


    I understood it all.


    Quiz shows are boring, so let''s just cut to the answer, shall we?


    The recent heavy snowfall, the unusual weather, the cold snap had plunged the village into a state of unease, and.


    Sia, who had already been ostracized and suspected by the villagers, was accused of being the cause of everything, the ''witch''.


    Her black hair was a symbol of ill omen, so they had plenty of evidence from their perspective.


    But for some reason, that arrow of blame had landed to me.


    There was no way Sia would have sold me out, so the only explanation was that Rumi, who dearly loved Sia, had used me to take the blame.


    Just like she had told me about Rumi, she must have told Rumi about me.


    Ah.


    What a tear-jerking tale of love and friendship.


    It was a beautiful story, beautiful enough to make me want to applaud as a member of the audience.


    And as expected, the protagonist didn''t like the fact that the arrows of blame was being directed at Sia.


    She whispered into my ear.


    "¡ªAlice, was it? If this continues, Han will die."


    ".....Ah¡­?"


    "You are the witch. You are the monster. You are the bad child, you are the one who did wrong¡ª"


    She whispered those words into my ear, hiding them from the villagers who were looking at Sia.


    That I was the culprit.


    To confess.


    That it was the only way to save Sia.


    She commanded me firmly, not caring that both Sia and I were looking at her.


    It must have stemmed from the thought that being hated now, meant nothing to her.


    "¡ªrUMi!! yoU, WhAt aRE yOu doINg¡­YOu¡ª!!"


    "¡­.I believe you understand, Alice. You¡¯re a smart girl, after all."


    ".....Ah¡­ Aaah¡­?"


    Nod, nod.


    With unfocused eyes, I mindlessly bobbed my head up and down to Rumi''s words.


    If you asked me what was more important, my life or someone else''s, I would always say someone else''s life is more important.. S§×arch* The N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Especially if that someone else was a friend I cherished, there was no question.


    Heehee.


    Sis Sia, you''re so blessed.


    To have someone who loves you this much by your side, what a precious blessing.


    It''s not the people who congratulate you when you''re happy, but the people who help you in times of need, when your life is on the line, that are the connections you should cherish.


    I''m so envious.


    I''m so, so envious.


    "I...I am...the witch..I am...the witch.."


    "...Ali..cE? No¡­Don¡¯t say thAT¡­Don¡¯t, ALice!!"


    "¡ªOh ho."


    Sia had said that Rumi wasn''t her real friend, that she had many other friends besides her.


    Surely, someone as smart as her wouldn''t have any trouble making friends.


    Sia must have felt a little jealous, a little lonely.


    That''s why she was so childishly happy when I said I wanted to be her friend.


    But Sia was wrong.


    Rumi was just a very smart and capable woman who could see things for what they were.


    The cold attitude she maintained in public, the nagging and constant scolding, it was all a carefully calculated act.


    "I¡¯m,sorry...I''m, sor...ry...Keh, keheuk! It''s...my, fault..."


    "I see¡­ You¡¯re finally admitting to your crime¡­"


    "¡ªWhat aRe YOu sAYinG, alICe!! Don''t say thAT¡­ comE to YOur senSES, I SaId, CoMe to yOUr seNSEs!!"


    Because if she was ostracized too, she would lose her only way to help Sia.


    Because she knew that if she took the lead in scolding Sia, it would reduce the criticism and violence from others.


    For that, Sis Rumi had been biting her lip and chewing on her nails, putting on an act.


    The best performance, one that even she herself didn''t realize.


    In return, I diligently tried to shift the blame onto myself, falling to my knees, rubbing my hands and feet together.


    "¡ªRUMI!! yOU....YOU.....!!"


    "...I was right, wasn''t I? This child is the real witch, and Han is just a victim who was manipulated by her curse."


    "Ha ha, I see. To think you figured it out and resolved it, you truly are the smartest person in the village!!"


    Thwack, thwack.


    Hard stones, the size of my fist, flew towards me.


    Perhaps afraid of what I, now labeled a witch, might do, they started throwing things at me, their eyes filled with fear.


    They were the ones insulting me, and yet, they were the ones afraid.


    How ironic.


    Rocks aimed at my head, my body, my legs, my chest ¡ª If there were no rocks, they threw wood, if there was no wood, they threw dirt, and if they couldn''t even pick up dirt, they spat at me.


    Die!!


    Because of you¡­my child¡­!!


    My crops failed this year¡­!!


    Because of the convenient excuse that the source of all their misfortunes was right there in front of them.


    Because a perfect scapegoat had been set up to shoulder all the blame.


    They spewed their malice at me, caught up in a frenzy.


    If the reverence for a deity that bestows good fortune, blessings, and wealth could be called ¡®faith,¡¯ then the malice towards a monster that brings calamity could also be called ¡®faith.¡¯


    They were believers, ascetics seeking salvation.


    Then what am I, I wonder.


    "Heehee."


    My body, battered by the hail of projectiles, cried out in pain.


    Their screams that seemed to pierce the heavens, their sighs of relief.


    Hearing it all, I could only smile, a small smile unseen by anyone.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 43: Haggling.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 43 ¡µ Chapter 43. Haggling.


    * * *


    **


    Thwack, crack, smack.


    A festival of those who had abandoned reason, morality, and ethics was in full swing.


    Like a torch burning as it consumed oil, madness devoured the people and using them as fuel for its terrifying dance.


    Sharp stones, rotten wood, rusted iron.


    Objects, more than enough to cause harm, flew through the air, colliding with the child.


    "...Ow!!...Ah, aaah!!"


    "¡ªYou crAZY basTARds!!! STop It, I SAid, stOp it!!!!"


    Unable to even defend herself, Alice could only endure the onslaught.


    I couldn''t just stand by and watch, so I started spewing out vulgar words I had never even thought of before.


    That child over there, desperately apologizing, rubbing her nonexistent hands together and begging for forgiveness, what had she done wrong?


    That child who is curled up, not even trying to fight back or run away, enduring the pain, what sin had she committed?


    That child, calling my name desperately with tears streaming down her face, did she truly look like the cruel witch you claim she is?


    I felt the ropes tightening around me with every movement, constricting my limbs, which had already lost all sensation.


    But, my words didn''t reach them.


    They just continued their actions, as if mocking me, as if to show me they didn''t care.


    Even though I was witnessing everything right before my eyes, I couldn''t even break free from the ropes that bound me, I could only scream, helpless.


    "Sis......ter......"


    ¡°¡­Ah¡­ AAAAHHH¡­!!¡±


    Squeeze.


    No matter how far I reached, my hands, pinned behind my back, couldn''t touch the child.


    I, a being who couldn''t even extend a helping hand to the child who was suffering, taking the blame for a crime she didn''t commit.


    That was, the most unbearable thing of all.


    But even so, I couldn''t turn away from the sight.


    Because this was my sin.


    "It''s ME!! IT¡¯S ME!! I dID iT, it Was aLL mE, so sTOp it!! InSTeAd of hEr, pUNIsh MEEEEE?????!!?"


    "¡ªSorry, Han."


    A piece of torn fabric was shoved into my open mouth.


    Something stiff and white, it was a part of the long, torn dress Alice had been wearing.


    I struggled, trying to spit it out, but Rumi''s persistent hand easily overpowered my resistance and shoved it deep into my mouth.


    She, with the same hand that had dragged Alice here, the same hand that had grabbed the child''s hair and ripped her clothes, was now gagging me again.


    To prevent me from proving Alice''s innocence.


    To prevent me from even apologizing to the child for this situation.


    To ensure my survival, by sacrificing Alice.


    "But, at least you should live¡­"


    "¡ª, ????!!!"


    ".....I''m, sorry."


    Rumi''s trembling hand gently stroked my twitching head.


    It was a small gesture of comfort, but her words and actions couldn''t bring me any solace.


    I never intended for this to happen, not even in the tiniest bit, but in the end, this entire spectacle was my fault.


    Rumi, doing this.


    Alice, taking all the blame.


    Everything, all of it.


    I could only roar like a beast with my mouth gagged.


    My hands, tied tightly, couldn''t touch, and with the cloth stuffed in my mouth, I couldn''t even pray, but I desperately wished for my knees, kneeling on the ground, to reach the heavens.


    It didn''t matter if the recipient of my prayer was God or the Devil.


    Anyone, anyone who could save the child.


    Even if the price of my prayer was my own soul, it would be enough if it meant I could help the child suffering before me.


    So please, please¡ª


    Caw, caw¡ª


    "¡ªFucking trash."


    As if God had answered my prayer.


    A great wind, blew.


    **


    Late autumn, the exact date I don''t remember.


    The day Elli and I opened our hearts to each other and became friends.


    As I leaned against a tree, sitting on a bed of fallen leaves, Alice was lying on my lap, happily playing with my hair with her fingertips. I once asked her a question that had been on my mind.


    ''Alice, why do you like the color black?''


    ''Hmm?''


    ''¡­ It just seems like you like it, so I was curious.''


    The child stopped her ticklish, yet strangely pleasant touch and looked at me with a question mark over her head.


    Although I felt a small amount of disappointment, wanting her to continue touching, I continued the conversation because I wanted to hear Alice''s thoughts.


    Generally, in this world, black was a color that everyone avoided.


    No. More than avoidance, it was a feeling of disgust.


    It wasn''t just a matter of prejudice stemming from religious ''preferences'' or ''education'', it was so strong that it made me wonder if it was a survival instinct ingrained in people''s genes, their aversion to the color black was that intense.


    Even babies, who had barely learned anything or been taught anything, would cry out in fear when they saw me, with my black hair and eyes.


    As if they instinctively feared the color.


    That''s why Alice, who didn''t just ignore it like Rumi, but actually expressed great fondness for my hair, calling it like the night sky, seemed a little strange to me.


    Not that I disliked it at all.


    It wasn''t that I was suspicious of her actions, I just wanted to know why she thought that way.


    And, Alice''s answer to that was,


    ''Because it''s the same color as Big Sis Elli''s hair.''


    A rather anticlimactic answer, mentioning someone else''s name.


    With a pout, I showed my displeasure, asking the child.


    To think I was sulking in front of a ten-year-old child, it was embarrassing now that I look back on it.


    ''¡­ Big Sis, Elli?''


    ''Yes! Big Sis Saelli!! She''s my family!! Umm.... She told me not to tell anyone, so it''s a secret¡­. But I''ll tell you, Sis Sia, just because we''re special!''


    ''Hmm...? So why?''


    ''¡ªBig Sis Elli has black hair, just like you, Sis Sia, a really beautiful, pure black.''


    Alice''s words, saying that everyone she was close to had black hair and that she wished her hair was black too, surprised me in many ways.


    First, I was surprised to find out that there was someone else with the same hair color as me.


    And then I was surprised again to learn that this kind and lovely child only had two people she was close to, including me.


    It seemed like her guardian was rather overprotective of her.


    Well, seeing Alice''s innocent nature, it was understandable.


    After that, the conversation revolved around ''Saelli'', the person I assumed was Alice''s guardian.


    Of course, every bit of information was followed by a very suspicious "She told me not to tell anyone about this¡ª".


    I thought about forming a connection with her, thinking we might be the same, but the more I heard, the more disconnected it felt, and with Alice saying that this person avoided and disliked meeting people, I eventually gave up.


    And the memories of that day ended there.


    It was none of my business.


    That''s what I thought¡ª


    ¡ªCraaaack!!


    To describe it as a sound made by the wind would be incorrect. It was a sound too ominous and violent to be just the wind.


    Moments later, I heard a scream piercing the air, and a warm liquid splashed onto my face. I forced my eyes open, blown about by the fierce storm, trying to grasp the situation.


    But I soon realized that my action was meaningless.


    Because right there in front of me, someone who hadn''t been there before, someone I presumed was responsible for the current situation, stood.


    Flutter, flutter.


    Black hair, fluttered in the wind.


    "........"


    ".......Huh?"


    For a moment, I couldn''t believe what I was seeing.


    It was more realistic to believe that my eyes were malfunctioning.


    Crunch, munch, munch.


    Right in front of me, a woman was chewing on a lump of flesh.


    The woman, I didn''t know how she had gotten past everyone and reached this spot, but she was holding Alice''s bleeding body in her arms, as if it were something precious.


    Crunch, crack, munch.


    Sounds I didn''t want to understand, continued to reach my ears.


    Her mouth opened and closed unnaturally wide, and I saw blood spurting out in all direction from the lump of flesh she was chewing on.


    Splash, even my face, which had been watching in a daze, wasn''t spared.


    What seemed like an adult''s forearm, no¡ªit was definitely a man''s forearm, disappeared into the woman''s mouth in a matter of seconds.


    Not even a bone remained.


    Her mouth, which had just devoured something impossible, slowly closed as if nothing had happened, and I shuddered at the sight, feeling like I was watching a scene from a movie, even though it was all real.


    What, is that?


    What, in the world, is that?


    I wasn''t the only one who felt an instinctive fear at the sight of her bright red lips parting slightly.


    No one else made a sound, except for the person screaming in the distance, presumably the owner of the arm.


    A beautiful sound, unbelievable that it flowed from that thing''s mouth,was heard in the silence.


    "It was a mistake, to trust it and let her play."


    "........."


    "To think that I, after all I''ve been through, would still hold onto a shred of hope for humans... I''m ashamed of myself."


    Her voice was cold, yet hot.


    It was strange, but I couldn''t describe it any other way.


    Her tone was polite, so much so that it was hard to believe those words came from someone who had just bitten off an arm and swallowed it whole.


    But for me, that polite tone was even more terrifying.


    Because it felt like she was suppressing her anger.


    Like she was forcibly holding back an explosion that was about to erupt.


    And despite that, the coldness and hostility in her words, impossible to conceal, were just as chilling as her previous actions.


    I wonder what she¡¯s thinking right now.


    Her eyes, looking up at the sky, were tightly shut, as if refusing to see anything around her.


    "Humans should live among humans¡­ I always thought that¡ª."


    "...Who, are you¡­?"


    "¡ªBut, that also depends on the human."


    The beast''s eyes turned towards us.


    They were blood-red, as intense as the burning flames.


    And within them, I saw vertically slit pupils, something that didn''t seem human.


    The woman didn''t even glance at the Village Head, who was stammering, as if he didn''t even exist.


    Slowly, she walked towards us.


    This, is a monster.


    I had never seen one in my life.


    I had always dismissed them as creatures of myth and legend.


    But even I could tell, she was something otherworldly. Sear?h the N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    ".......Ah... Aaah..."


    "Wi...witch....!"


    The people who had been relentlessly throwing stones just moments ago were now frozen in place, like frogs caught in a snake''s gaze, unable to even flee.


    Contrasting her menacing glare, the woman was gently caressing the child in her arms, as if handling a delicate glass figurine.


    Lick, lick.


    Her bright red tongue slowly crawled across Alice''s blood-covered face.


    Alice''s original skin that was hidden by blood was slowly beginning to show as the woman''s Adam''s apple moves slightly up and down to swallow the saliva and blood that has gathered.


    The sight made me gag, but I couldn''t tear my eyes away from her.


    Her hair is as black as condensed darkness, unlike mine.


    Her mysterious eyes, burning red like the setting sun.


    The familiar appearance I had surely heard about somewhere suddenly reminded me of my conversation with Alice.


    "¡ªKill them all. Every single one, without leaving a drop of blood."


    Caw, caw.


    The sky darkened. As if in response, a flock of crows, covering the sky, began to caw in unison.


    Wild beasts of unknown species emerged from the bushes, their jaws agape.


    Saelli.


    Alice''s guardian.


    The person Alice called her only family.


    The monster bared its fangs at everyone.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 44: Khanun.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 44 ¡µ Chapter 44. Khanun. (TL Note: Khanun is a typhoon that hit Korea)


    * * *


    **


    Shatter.


    The small amount of trust in humanity I had held onto, shattered into a million pieces at this moment, leaving not even a speck of dust behind, like a glass bead.


    Sharp shards seemed to be churning within my chest, transforming into fast-flying arrows and thorns that wouldn''t dislodge, tearing my heart to shreds.


    It hurts.


    It hurts so, so much.


    The price of betrayal was as heavy as the trust I had given, as agonizing as the amount of blood the child had shed.


    I forced myself to swallow the urge to let loose everything right now.


    Because I had a debt to collect from them.


    I couldn''t let them die, easily, not like this.


    "St-Stay back! What is this¡­!! Guaaaaaaaah¡ª!!!!"


    "¡ªDid you think you could escape?"


    A man, clutching a blood-stained stick, swung it wildly as he ran alone towards the village.


    His comical screams and frantic movements, as if terrified of the countless eyes watching him, was like that of a clown.


    And on the clown''s stick, a dark, sticky bloodstain was clearly visible.


    Blood.


    The blood, flowing from the child''s head.


    I see.


    So you were the one who struck the child with that stick?


    You, bastard.


    That thing.


    "¡ªDevour him."


    Of course, the familiars waiting nearby wouldn''t miss that, and the rude human was quickly swallowed by a pack of crows, wolves, and hyenas.


    Peck and tear him apart, for as long as possible.


    Rip out his filthy heart.


    Devour him completely, without leaving a single trace of his body, not even enough to be buried, so that he can''t even go to the heaven they speak of.


    Ah.


    And that mouth, that throat, making those unpleasant noises, destroy that first.


    "¡ªYou¡¯ll wake the child."


    "....Grrrr."


    Crack, crunch, rip.


    The screams that had echoed through the forest were quickly silenced at my command.


    Only the faint sound of bubbling liquid and the quiet munching of animals could be heard if you listened closely.


    The humans, terrified by the sight, either collapsed to the ground in despair or frantically tried to escape, their fear overwhelming them.


    I gently covered the child''s precious ears with both hands, worried that she would wake up at the sound.


    Don''t listen.


    They are the words of trash, of humans, not worth listening to.


    Leave this to me, and please, sleep well.


    The filthy being, unworthy of even being treated as a living creature, finally ended its life, staining a small part of the soil red with its blood.


    It was a repulsive and disgusting creature, whose final moments were just as unpleasant, I never wanted to see it again.


    "¡ªRu-Run!!"


    "Witch¡­ The witch, she called for her companions¡ª!!"


    Taking advantage of the distraction caused by the man, as the crows'' attention was focused on him, a few humans started running in the opposite direction.


    Honestly.


    If only they had stayed put, they could have prolonged their lives, even if just a little.


    Is it because their lifespans are so short, or are they just stupid.


    Humans often forget the past.


    Unaware that it would lead them to their deaths.


    Waving their torches, they desperately hoped that the animals charging towards them were just ordinary beasts afraid of fire.


    But their wishes wouldn''t come true.


    "¡ªN-No way!!"


    "Tch¡­ Farewell, Huytein!"


    Realizing it was useless, they started tripping their comrades, using them as bait, and running in different directions. Sear?h the n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    But not to be outdone, the man who had been tripped grabbed the pants of the man who was trying to abandon him and clung on.


    A leech, desperately clinging on, and a man, desperately trying to shake him off.


    I could feel disgust emanating from the familiars.


    Give the order, quickly.


    They didn''t want to see that repulsive creature alive any longer.


    It was a truly pathetic sight, making me wonder if that thing was even the same ''human'' as Alice.


    Disgusting.


    "¡ªDemi, you bastard!? I... I¡­ Iiiiik!!"


    "Damn it, stop clinging to me!! Get off!!"


    "Hehehe¡­.! You¡¯re not going, alone, you son of a bitch!!!!"


    The fight between the two beasts, who had abandoned their humanity, ended when they were devoured by crows that swooped down from the sky.


    Watching them, spewing hatred at each other even as they were being torn apart, I couldn''t help but question my own decision.


    They say that a bird''s song is mournful when it dies, and a human''s words are beautiful when they die.


    But their words, clearly those of humans, were nothing but unpleasant.


    "Ha..... Haha¡­!!"


    I just hate them.


    To think that I had entrusted the child to these things.


    My face, as I held Alice in my arms, contorted uncontrollably.


    I saw the humans who had been watching from afar screamed and backed away as our eyes met briefly.


    "........."


    "........."


    Meanwhile.


    There was one being who¡¯s bound with ropes, staring at me with a gaze filled not with fear, but with complex emotions. But I ignored it, it was none of my business.


    A brief moment of curiosity, but that was all.


    ".........."


    In the past.


    It was an embarrassing memory now, but there was a time when I had monopolized the child, keeping her in a life that was no different from confinement.


    Back then, I was a fool who thought that the child would be happy with delicious meals, beautiful songs, and a clean living environment.


    But no matter how large the cage, if a bird couldn''t spread its wings and fly, it would only grow weaker.


    No matter how interesting the books I read to her, no matter how beautiful the flowers I offered, no matter how dazzling the gems I showed her, the bird''s song grew more mournful with each passing day.


    Because Alice was a child who craved affection.


    And I was a monster, a creature through and through who couldn''t understand the human heart.


    So, I thought long and hard.


    What should I do?


    What could I do, for the child?


    A problem I tried to solve, staying up all night.


    But shamefully, my abilities were lacking, and I couldn''t find the answer.


    And so time passed, and the day came when dew formed on the leaves and frost began to fall.


    After much deliberation, I allowed Alice to venture outside the mountain.


    Because humans should live, interacting with other humans.


    I hoped that she would find someone who could soothe her loneliness.


    I was skeptical, but I was surprised to see that she met a girl with black hair on the first day and became close friends with her the next.


    But knowing that it was a miracle brought about by the child''s pure heart and kindness, I had no time to feel jealous, and instead, I praised her courageous act.


    Alice, was gradually regaining her energy after making a friend.


    I enjoyed watching her chatter excitedly by the fireplace, recounting the day''s interesting events.


    I went hunting to suppress my urges, firmly believing that the crow I had placed by her side would be able to handle any situation.


    I was content.


    I was complacent.


    And that, was the problem.


    "Y¡­You are...."


    "¡ªI have no interest in conversing with a corpse."


    An old man with a long beard tried to speak to me, but I wasn''t in the mood for conversation.


    Isn''t conversation an exchange between intelligent beings?


    To me, they were nothing more than that.


    In the end, they would just use that grandiose word, ''negotiation'', or ''apology'', and resort to the same old tricks humans were so proud of, their pathetic attempts to preserve their own lives.


    I had no reason, not a single one, not even a shred, to spare their lives.


    Slowly, little by little.


    I licked the child''s blood-covered face, careful not to irritate her wounds.


    With every lick, thick, dark red blood coated my tongue.


    Alice''s blood, sadly, was incredibly bitter.


    Beneath the blood, the long, gaping wound slowly revealed itself.


    Sharp wooden splinters and pieces of rock were embedded deep in the child''s skin, which had always been so white and soft, I couldn''t even imagine the pain she must have endured.


    And beneath the gruesome wound that I wanted to look away from, countless blue bruises covered her body.


    "....Ah.... Aaah...."


    "¡ªIt''s me, Alice."


    Was it because she had been exposed to the malice of humans?


    Or was it, the pain of being deceived and betrayed?


    Even though the pain is no longer there, the child was trembling, as if in deep pain from something.


    I gently stroked her back, careful not to irritate her wounds, and whispered into Alice''s ear. I saw her eyes, still unfocused, flutter open with effort.


    Her mouth opened slightly.


    "Uh¡­Uh¡­Big¡­Sis¡­?"


    "¡­.Yes, it¡¯s Saelli. I¡¯m sorry I¡¯m late."


    "Hee¡­ Heehee¡­ Heehee¡­ Keh¡­"


    ".....I¡¯m so sorry."


    Alice, realizing I had arrived upon hearing my voice, smiled brightly, as if oblivious to her own critical condition, coughing up blood.


    Her smile was so beautiful that I forgot to even wipe away the blood trickling from her lips.


    That sight, beautiful enough to be called a work of art, was incredibly painful for me.


    Because it was so dazzlingly beautiful.


    No anger towards being deceived and dragged here, for trying to kill her mercilessly.


    No sense of betrayal towards those who, despite being human, had accused her of being a witch, based on mere assumptions.


    Not a single negative emotion, nothing.


    But to me, it looked like she was forcibly suppressing her pain and sadness, piling it up inside.


    Like she couldn''t even express her anger properly, afraid of hurting others.


    "¡ªKill them all."


    So, it was inevitable that a cold command escaped my lips.


    I had initially planned to punish them for their sins, to instill the fear of death by devouring those who tried to save themselves by abandoning others, but now, none of that mattered.


    I raised my hand high towards the sky.


    As if in response, countless red eyes appeared in the dark, cloudy sky that had been like pitch-black storm clouds.


    Because I just wanted to quickly end this disgusting situation, to get rid of these humans.


    But¡ª


    "Ah¡­N¡­No¡­"


    "........"


    "Pl¡­.Please¡­don''t¡­!"


    But, I couldn''t bring myself to lower my hand.


    A small hand, reached up and softly wrapped around the hand I had raised.


    I couldn''t resist that hand, a hand that would crumble if I applied even the slightest force.


    "I.....Because of me.....I don''t want....people to die...!!"


    "........."


    I¡ª


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 45: Journey.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 45 ¡µ Chapter 45. Journey.


    * * *


    **


    Hate the sin, love the sinner.


    It''s a phrase often repeated by the so-called brilliant saints I''ve encountered countless times in this endless cycle of reincarnation, so much so It took up my two hands fingers to count them.


    Well, the wording varied, but the general meaning was similar to what I just said.


    Well, sure.


    It''s undoubtedly, a good saying.


    But, if the ones who commit sins are none other than people, then how can you hate the sin and not hate the sinner?


    Besides, sin is just a concept, a victim that doesn''t actually do anything.


    Shouldn''t it be sin, that we shouldn''t hate?


    But people hate people.


    Because sin has no physical form, it¡¯s hard to hate.


    Because people exist right before our eyes, it¡¯s easy to hate.


    Even though the price of hating others is that you end up loving yourself a little less.


    Even though at the end of that burning hatred that consumes you, there''s only a hollow emptiness.


    People are not allowed to control the hatred that grows within them.


    They try to erase what can''t be erased.


    They try to forget what can''t be forgotten.


    How, truly pitiful.


    Often.


    No, perhaps, always.


    We hate because we don''t understand, and we don''t understand because we hate.


    We have to understand why the other person made that choice, why they had no other choice, what drove them to do it.


    Otherwise, that cycle of hatred will continue to spin endlessly, each one feeding off the other.


    Like an ouroboros, hatred will never die, forever living by our side. (TL Note: ouroboros, a snake eating itself.)


    Even if the end result is that it devours itself, it will never stop.


    It will tenaciously cling to life, tormenting us.


    That''s why, I decided to stop.


    "¡ªI,understand."


    "......Ah..!"


    "....Let''s go back¡­ to our, home.." S§×arch* The N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Honestly, you all.


    You really are hopeless.


    **


    Like a sudden accident that no one could have foreseen.


    Like a disaster that appears in an instant without any warning and sweeps everything away.


    A day that could have been described as ordinary, a day that would have ended happily, filled with joy and new memories, with us gently embracing each other, our hearts beating in unison.


    That day, became a day that would be forever etched in our minds, for a different reason.


    The pitiful sight of people, their necks torn out first, unable to even scream despite writhing in agony, their flesh ripped away from their bodies one by one by sharp beaks and teeth.


    A miserable scene, where lives were forcibly prolonged only to inflict more pain, where the dignity of life had been thrown to the ground.


    It was a living hell, descended upon this world.


    The only sound that could replace their screams was the symphony of breaking bones and tearing flesh.


    As everyone was engulfed in panic, about ten brave and reckless people, taking advantage of the distraction as everyone''s attention was diverted, tried to break through the encirclement and escape.


    They all fell, one after another, right before our eyes, reduced to cold lumps of meat, without a single twist of fate to save them.


    The hundred or so villagers, who could only watch helplessly, were like pigs in a slaughterhouse, waiting for their turn, praying that their deaths would be painless.


    Yes.


    Nowhere was there any reflection or apology for Alice, whom they had pushed to her death.


    A place where only sinners, concerned only for their own safety, existed.


    The final destination for betrayers, Cocytus.


    The deepest part of hell.


    "....Han, are you listening?"


    ".........."


    ".....If you are, could you please open the door?"


    Thump, thump, thump.


    Gentle, yet firm.


    The knocking, echoing at regular intervals, was like the personality of the person behind it.


    The flimsy door, crudely made of thin planks, shook helplessly, just like me, unable to make any decisions, just being swayed by others.


    The gap between the door and the wall widened and narrowed with each knock, and the ray of light that entered through the gap, the only source of light in the pitch-black room, also thickened and thinned due to it.


    A red-tinged light, indicating it was either morning or evening, gradually grew longer as time passed, coming close enough to touch if I reached out my hand.


    Dust particles that¡¯s dancing in the air stood out even more prominently in that ray of light, oblivious to the world, freely floating as if nothing had happened.


    Ignorantly.


    Shamelessly.


    I couldn''t even bear to look at that small, fleeting beauty, and I covered my eyes with both arms.


    Only then did true darkness embrace me.


    It slowly enveloped me, as if saying that this was where I completely belonged, that the brightly lit world wasn''t for me.


    That fact, was so incredibly miserable.


    "...It''s been two days, Han. If you keep this up, you''ll really die."


    ".........."


    "....Please, won''t you come out?"


    Rumi''s words, seemingly out of concern for my well-being.


    The first thought that crossed my mind upon hearing her words was that I wished I could just die in my sleep.


    No, even that would be a luxury for me.


    Miserably, more pathetically than anything else, painfully.


    That''s how I have to die.


    "...I left a few potatoes in front of the door¡­.I''m leaving now."


    "........."


    Footsteps, dragging and hesitant, so unlike her, gradually faded away.


    My hopes for a new life had been as high as the towering buildings that reached for the sky.


    And the pain and shock of falling from that height were unbearable.


    It was like a domino effect.


    The relationships I thought I had built so securely crumbled at the slightest touch, as if they had been designed to collapse from the very beginning.


    Even when I tried to protect them with my arms spread wide, even when I watched over them with bated breath, afraid of even a gentle breeze disturbing them, they would crumble right before my eyes.


    Craaash, just like that.


    A work I had painstakingly built over a long time.


    But compared to all that effort, the time it took for the dominoes to fall was so short.


    But still, it was okay.


    Because I could endure it.


    Even though the friendships I formed with others no longer lasted, even though they always crumbled.


    Because I always had someone else to blame, a perfect escape route to avoid facing the cause of the broken relationship.


    It''s not my fault.


    This is all their fault.


    If only I hadn''t been born into this crazy world, everything would have been fine.


    I would have made friends, enjoyed traveling with my family, fallen in love with someone special.


    That''s what I thought.


    That''s why.


    When I realized that the arrow I had shot was flying back towards me¡ª


    When I realized that I was the one who had broken the relationship, who had hurt the other person¡ª


    ¡ªI, despaired.


    ''.....Si..s¡­.''


    ".......¡ª!!!"


    Rustle.


    At the sound of her voice that brushed past my ears, I buried my head deep into the straw that thickly covered the floor.


    I curled up, my eyes closed, covered my ears, denying everything, hoping to block out all sound.


    But my fingers, jammed deep into my ears as if I wanted to pierce through them, couldn''t block out the weak voice echoing in my head.


    Instead, its presence only grew stronger, as if asserting itself, every time I covered my ears more tightly, every time I screamed.


    Ah¡­


    Aaah¡­


    Yes.


    I am a sinner.


    I am a traitor!


    I am, trash!!


    I opened my mouth and shouted.


    I muttered endlessly, confessing my sins.


    To escape the crushing guilt.


    To be forgiven for my sins, even just a little.


    But in this space where there wasn''t even a victim to ask forgiveness from, what meaning could my meaningless words have?


    An apology, atonement, is something you offer to the victim.


    "......Alice¡­"


    Slowly, I lifted my head from the straw.


    The red sunlight that had been entering through the narrow gap was long gone, and only darkness filled my dilated pupils.


    I pulled the door open with a trembling hand, and the sharp, grating sound, unique to unoiled hinges, filled the air.


    Thud, I felt something hit my outstretched foot, and then I heard the sound of something scattering.


    ".......Ah."


    Steamed potatoes, rolled around in a mess next to the overturned basket.


    Roll, roll, the potatoes rolled on the dirt floor.


    I picked up one that was particularly covered in dirt and brought it to my mouth.


    The cold, stiff potato, I bit into hard had tasted like nothing, buried under the burnt and bitter taste characteristic of dirt.


    "....I have to go¡­"


    Yes.


    I had to go.


    I threw away the potato I had been eating far away. Woof, woof, I heard the dog next door barking, happily munching on something. It''s eating well.


    According to Rumi, it had been two days, no, it was night now, so three days?


    Having spent those long days just sitting there, my legs, which hadn''t even stepped into the forest, were already trembling, protesting their limits.


    I grabbed a piece of wood of a suitable length from the surroundings and used it as support as I started walking.


    Tap, tap.


    I walked, and walked, leaning on the stick.


    I crossed the wooden palisade, the boundary of the village.


    I walked through the swamp, filled with rotten leaves that reached my knees.


    I passed the withered raspberry vines, killed by the cold.


    I left behind the charred remains of an oak tree, presumably struck by lightning.


    Tap, tap.


    Facing the cold wind head-on, I walked on, one step at a time, my bleeding hand gripping the stick.


    I endured, and endured, and endured some more.


    This pain, was nothing compared to the pain I had endured so far.


    This wound, couldn''t even compare to a fraction of the pain I had inflicted on Alice.


    How long did I walk like that?


    "......Ah."


    I saw a familiar tree.


    I reached it, leaned against it, and collapsed to the ground.


    That place, the sunny spot where I used to enjoy taking naps, was now filled with a chilling coldness.


    I looked up at the moon, hidden behind the clouds, and closed my eyes.


    Naturally, I couldn''t see anything.


    ".......Haha."


    My eyelids, little by little, slowly grew heavier.


    Ah, I really hate this.


    I hate it.


    Maybe it would be better to just die like this.


    Slowly, painfully, in the cold¡ª


    For me...


    It really¡­


    Re¡­ally¡­


    Suits me¡­


    In the darkness¡­


    "¡­Really¡­ Sis, if you sleep here, you¡¯ll catch a cold¡ª¡±


    Just like back then.


    A small voice, awakened me.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 46: Gospel.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 46 ¡µ Chapter 46. Gospel.


    * * *


    **


    Giving love to someone.


    It''s like growing a picky plant.


    If you give it too much water one day, the petals will wither and the roots will rot.


    If you get angered by that fact and consistently give it too little water, the stem won''t grow, and the leaves will shrivel.


    And so, sadly, they all die.


    Therefore, you must approach giving love with the mindset that it''s synonymous with taking responsibility for a life.


    You must always remember that.


    When cracking an egg, if you apply too much force, you''ll damage not only the shell but also the delicate insides.


    And if you apply too little force, you won''t even be able to make a dent in the shell.


    The word ''Moderation'', a word we so easily utter.


    We need to reconsider the truly profound meaning it holds.


    Yes.


    Just like, right now.


    "¡ªSis Sia¡­!!"


    "......Ali...ce..."


    Early dawn, in a deep forest where you couldn''t see even an inch ahead.


    Rustle, guided by her faint, parched, and cracked sound, I pushed through the undergrowth and moved forward.


    I called out her name softly, and a reply, almost like a groan, reached my ears.


    Thorns from the vines that tried to pull me back, as if saying not to go there, pricked my skin, but I continued towards where Sia was.


    It seemed the injury I had sustained that day had been more serious than I had thought. Even now, three days later, my vision was still blurry, my head spinning, and my footsteps faltered.


    It hurts.


    I''m tired, and I want to rest.


    The unusually heavy gravity pulled me down, but I couldn''t be held back by something like that.


    I shook my head vigorously, trying to clear my mind, and with my useless eyes closed, I relied on sound to guide me, taking one step at a time.


    Even if my legs gave way and I collapsed.


    Even if my body wouldn''t obey me.


    If I lost my legs, I would crawl with my one remaining arm.


    Forward, constantly forward.


    There


    Because she''s there, waiting for me.


    Just like me, in the past.


    There''s a child, whose had everything crumbled.


    I couldn''t help but go to her.


    Because helping those like her is the meaning, the destiny that has been bestowed upon me.


    "Sis, long time no see."


    ".....Ah¡­aaah¡­!"


    "....You''ve become a real crybaby while I was gone, Sis Sia."


    "¡ªIt''s been, a long time."


    Hug.


    I threw myself at her and hugged her.


    **


    A place where even the soft moonlight couldn''t fulfill its duty.


    The child, who seemed to struggle even to stand upright, was walking alone through the dark forest despite her condition.


    She refused my help, refused to escape those painful memories and start a new, happy life far away.


    ''¡­Please¡­ Big Sis¡­!''


    ''.......''


    Alice, so cruelly, left my embrace.


    To reach out to someone else, to hold someone''s hand, Alice staggered forward, her empty sleeve fluttering in the wind.


    Even if there was no hand waiting for her when she reached out.


    Even if her kindness would result in another deep wound, like this time.


    The child would never stop.


    ''I beg you¡­ Big Sis¡­!!'' S~ea??h the ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Because that''s who Alice was.


    "...."


    Snap, the branch in my hand broke weakly.


    I squeezed it tightly, until I could no longer hear a sound coming from my tightly clenched hand.


    Crunch, crunch.


    A few seconds passed, and I bit my lip hard, scattering the remnants of the branch that had now completely crumbled to powder.


    The powder, carried by the wind, slowly dissipated into the air.


    Yes.


    The world was cruel.


    And to this child, it was especially cruel.


    Alice stumbled over rocks, sometimes bumped her head against a tree she couldn''t see, and yet, she kept walking toward the human who was calling her name, apologizing.


    They desperately called out to each other, their voices the only guide in this darkness.


    They relied on sound to move their unstable bodies.


    If they fell, they got back up.


    If they collapsed from exhaustion, they crawled.


    The distance between them, closed with every step, every hardship they endured.


    But why were the wounds, inflicted one by one as they drew closer, the agonizing pain that was unbearable for her fragile body, increasing?


    It was as if the entire world existed solely to torment Alice.


    If a god existed, it must be an evil god.


    Otherwise, there''s no way a devil disguised as a god would be standing beyond the world, mocking the child, waving its hand.


    Despairing at the overwhelming malice, the absurdity of the world''s cruelty targeting a single person, my heart burned black as I watched from afar.


    I watched her pitiful figure, and I had no choice but to force myself to pull back the hand I had extended towards her.


    Of course, I wanted to stop it.


    I wanted to put an end to it, right now.


    But if I approached her now, she would surely grab my blood-stained hand and try to escape with me.


    Faced with this miserable reality, I might have even used the child''s kindness to bind her to me, preventing her from going anywhere.


    So I had to lower my outstretched arm.


    The moment I let go of the child from my embrace, the moment I carried her near to that human lying there like a corpse, I had no other choice.


    I could only watch from afar.


    I had no right to stop her.


    I, who had also hurt the child and received salvation in return, had no right to stop her.


    So, even if I wanted to stop her.


    Even if I wanted to take Alice, who was sacrificing herself for another, and escape to a paradise where only the two of us existed.


    Even if I harbored such a hideous desire, a desire only a monster could have.


    The only thing I could do was clench my teeth, climb a tall tree, and etch the child''s figure into my mind.


    Yes.


    It was a truly, pathetic sight.


    "....I.... I...!!"


    ".....But it''s okay, Big Sis. I forgive you."


    Saaak, a cold wind blew, shaking the tree violently.


    My body, perched on the branch, also shook back and forth, but that wasn''t enough to distract me from the child.


    At this moment, my eyes existed solely to see the child, and my ears were created solely to hear her words.


    So, don''t interrupt.


    I''ll kill you, you know?


    ¡ªWhoosh!


    "......!!!!"


    I sent a silent warning to the beast, whose color was that of the useless weeds that littered this mountain, I warned with action.


    The green color writhes.


    The small twig, that flew straight without making a sound, precisely pierced the figure that was passing beneath the tree I was on.


    Thwack, a small spray of blood.


    "Mmmpp¡ª!?"


    The beast, its body trembling from the pain of the twig embedded in its shoulder, didn''t make a sound, but started looking around, searching for the direction the twig had come from.


    Eventually, the beast looked up and made eye contact with me, quietly looking down, and was startled, quickly retreating.


    I opened my mouth and silently warned it.


    ''Get. Lost.''


    ".....!!"


    ¡ªThump, thump.


    Despite the warning, the clueless beast, as if still clinging to a shred of hope, tried to interrupt Alice''s precious time, so I threw a few more twigs.


    They lodged themselves in its arm, chest, barely missing its vital points.


    Did the searing pain finally suppress its desire? It eventually turned tail and fled.


    Anxious that my actions might have disturbed Alice, I looked back at her.


    "But.... I...!!"


    "¡ªI forgive you, for everything."


    Fortunately, it seemed the child hadn''t noticed anything.


    I let out a sigh of relief, climbed down from the tree, and covered the spot where a small drop of blood had stained the ground with dirt, erasing the evidence.


    The reason I didn''t kill it was because I didn''t want to steal even a short moment from Alice.


    And because I didn''t want to stain my hands, the hands that would soon embrace the child, with that filthy blood, that was the simple reason.


    If it weren''t for that, I would have killed it.


    "....It must have, hurt a lot."


    "No, it didn''t hurt at all."


    "....You''re lying."


    "...Umm, a little? Just¡­ a little bit."


    "...Haha, what¡¯s that..."


    I brushed the dirt off my hands and slowly started walking towards Alice.


    The situation seemed to be nearing its end, and I thought about how to join them without it being awkward.


    I approached the lovely child, who was waiting for me.


    **


    In the end, the story ended with everyone involved shedding blood and tears.


    Me, Sia, Elli, all of us.


    Saving someone else, takes a lot of time.


    We saw the dark side, the abyss that everyone carries within them, and we clashed because of it.


    Unforeseen events occurred, drastically changing the situation, for better or for worse.


    But.


    Shedding blood, hurting each other, having everything we believed in crumble from beneath our feet.


    That''s what life is.


    And it was always love and affection, that resolved it all.


    "¡ªWill you come with me?"


    "......Yes!!"


    What we''ve lost, we can always regain.


    The moonlight, emerging from behind the clouds.


    It seemed like a blessing, for us, for our future.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 47: 17.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 47 ¡µ Chapter 47. 17.


    * * *


    **


    Blessing in disguise.


    Even if it seems like a curse, it''s actually a blessing.


    Seventeen curses.


    Seventeen blessings.


    Is this a blessing, or a ridiculous curse?


    "No one, knows."


    **


    "¡ªJust disappear¡­ from my sight!!"


    ".......Huh?"


    The setting sun, painting the sky red, filled the classroom.


    At that moment, which would evoke sentimental feelings for some, rekindling forgotten memories, I was listening to an untimely confession.


    However, it was a confession that was far from what one would typically call a confession.


    Because it was an incredibly ugly and vile confession.


    "You always win at everything, and you just smile¡­ What? ''I''ll teach you anything you don''t understand tomorrow?''"


    "....Yeri...?"


    "If you have everything, good grades, scholarships, and everything else, then just go somewhere high and far away! Don''t bother with someone like me!!"


    She scattered something in her hand. Flutter, papers filled with messy scribbles of letters and numbers danced in the air.


    With a light sound, the test papers fell before me, one after another, like cherry blossom petals scattering in the wind.


    There wasn¡¯t a particular reason, or at least none I could think of.


    My day, as usual, ended with pleasant interactions with my classmates. Today was no different.


    It was always like this, that''s why it was called everyday life.


    So if there was a specific reason for this to happen, then all my actions so far would be the reason.


    Yes.


    This happened not because from just ''one'' mistake, but because the suppressed, dark emotions had finally started to surface.


    That fact, made me even more dumbfounded.


    Neighbors, childhood friends, best friends.


    There were many words that described our relationship.


    From the time we were born to this moment, standing in a classroom of our middle school, we had spent the vast majority of our time together, excluding our families.


    Perhaps, we had even spent more time together than with our families.


    And maybe, just maybe, we had a deeper bond than with them.


    That''s why I had always boasted that our relationship was stronger than the countless labels that described it.


    Truly, sincerely, to the point where I thought I would even give my life for her.


    But was it, just a one-sided relationship?


    Jealousy and envy.


    I was so shocked to face those dark emotions from the person I considered to be my closest friend in this life that I couldn''t speak.


    I just stared at her face, blankly.


    Even the words I heard didn''t register properly.


    Me?


    You wish I didn''t exist?


    When I couldn''t even open my mouth to say anything¡ªthe girl standing before me started pushing me even harder.


    It was a lament about grades and scholarships.


    It was a complaint about her relationships with others.


    It was, a challenge to my very existence.


    With each word she uttered, my head bowed lower and lower towards the ground.


    And finally, her mouth, which had been moving tirelessly, blurted out a single phrase.


    The words I hated to hear the most.


    Sharp and piercing.


    Digging into my heart¡ª


    "You''ve never even tried."


    "......!!"


    "¡ªI tried so hard, but you just trampled on everything, you ruined everything."


    I fell to my knees.


    In that position, until the sun, hanging on the horizon, completely disappeared.


    I just, kept my head bowed.


    "........."


    Sitting on the cold floor of the empty classroom, I remained kneeling, as if rooted to the spot.


    Alone.


    Continuously¡ª


    **


    To understand the world and make the right judgment.


    Even God considered it to be the most important of all virtues.


    The long, long years, now impossible to count, were enough to bestow upon me something worthy of being called ''wisdom''.


    It was knowledge about housekeeping, about morality and etiquette, and finally about academics and mental discipline.


    Some might praise it as the product of talent and effort, but for me, it was nothing more than a lucky coincidence, something I had stumbled upon.


    Undoubtedly helpful in life, it couldn''t quell the turmoil that had taken root in my heart, despite all the grand titles it held.


    "I.... I.... Why....? I shouldn''t exist, no place... no meaning..."


    My head was spinning.


    My mouth was muttering nonsensical strings of words, not even forming proper sentences, without any conscious thought.


    In my half-closed eyes, the shocking scene from before kept replaying again and again, like a video on loop.


    I tried to shake off the thought by frantically shaking my head, but the scene from earlier, still vivid in my mind as if it were right before my eyes, wouldn''t disappear.


    It blamed me.


    It cursed me.


    Every time Yeri''s mouth opened in my mind, my body flinched as if someone was stabbing me with a knife.


    And at her final words, I couldn''t help but raise my hand and squeeze my own throat.


    Because that scene had ended with my closest friend, the one I trusted and relied on the most, denying everything I had worked for.


    I want to deny it.


    I don''t want to accept it.


    But I couldn''t utter a single excuse.


    Because no matter how absurd they seemed, they were all true.


    Even if she had spoken thoughtlessly, just to vent her anger, those words were all undeniably my fault.


    Because if it weren''t for me, someone else would have been in that place.


    Someone who had real effort, a beautiful passion for life, a ''real'' person, would have been in my place.


    So.


    "...Ah... Aaah..."


    ¡ªSo I, had to punish myself.


    **


    People are always living their lives, as if they are being chased by something.


    It remained true even after the invention of new modes of transportation that were hundreds of times faster than a human could run, even after the time it took to send a heartfelt postcard had been reduced by thousands of times.


    They chase after something formless, and they are chased by something behind them.


    Money, wealth, and fame. If you ask people why they work so hard, the answers vary, but if you look closely, you''ll realize that it all boils down to one thing.


    Time.


    Or, what we call life and death.


    Perhaps it''s because life is finite that people work so hard to achieve something during their time on earth.


    Some strive for a family that will accept them, some for their own happiness, some for a happy ending, and some cling to their fleeting lives like a burning candle.


    Someone out there, even at this late hour, is studying diligently, dreaming of a better tomorrow.


    Yes, just like Yeri.


    "I''m sorry... I''m sorry... I''m sorry... I''m sorry..."


    But what have I done, in front of those people?


    I just sat there, taking up someone''s place, enjoying what someone else should have been enjoying, and forcefully taking away something that someone had worked hard for, just like she said.


    I had been unfairly enjoying the things that others deserved, just because I had lived countless meaningless lives that I could never be proud of.


    Yes, she was right.


    The ugly one, was none other than me.


    "I''m really, really sorry...."


    ¡ªCreak.


    The pink scarf, pulled taut with my weight, was secured to a steel rebar poking out from the ceiling, making a straining noise.


    The hole in the ceiling, caused by someone kicking a soccer ball in the classroom, had been left unrepaired for a week.


    It was an unsightly hole, exposing the building''s structure, and every time I saw it, I had felt a small discomfort, but now, I was incredibly grateful for it.


    Because it felt like it existed solely for me, a worthless human being.


    "I''m really¡­ sorry, Yeri."


    I slowly put my head into the small noose.


    My trembling hands and the chair I stood on shook uncontrollably, as if they knew what was about to happen.


    The tightly tied knot and the thick, long scarf would be more than enough to support my weight, a middle school student who was still teased for being small for her age.


    All preparations were complete.


    I was a truly irredeemable piece of trash, an arrogant sinner, a deceiver who had proudly boasted about the things she had unfairly gained.


    I shouldn''t have been born.


    This repeating life, which I had thought was a blessing, was actually a curse.


    So, please.


    If a next life exists, please, don''t let me be there.


    And please, let this meaningless death, this pain, be a small atonement for those I have stolen from.


    Let everything, return to its rightful place.


    ".........."


    With that prayer.


    I slowly, closed my eyes.


    Before closing my eyes, I thought about the small, unassuming letter, lying on my desk¡ª


    Thud.


    I kicked the chair away with my foot.


    **


    "Ugh.... Seriously¡­!!"


    A pink-themed room, with a pink bed.


    And on it, a middle school girl, wearing blue pajamas that clashed with her surroundings, was tossing and turning, kicking off her blanket.


    Her eyes, seemingly filled with thoughts of someone, were welling up with tears.


    "What should I do...!! Uh¡­ Ah¡­!! Aaaaaaaaah!!!"


    Thump, thump, thump.


    While it''s unclear what meaning there is to kicking the blanket, but seeing as the force only intensified with each kick, it didn''t seem to have any calming effect.


    Even so, she might not be able to endure it if she didn''t do something, consumed by guilt over lashing out at her friend out of jealousy for her talents.


    Perhaps what she hates most right now is herself, for being jealous instead of genuinely congratulating her friend on her success.


    "...I''ll apologize to her when I see her tomorrow."


    Her precious friend, who was like another version of herself. Sear?h the n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    The girl who had always been kind and gentle, who would scold her for her unreasonable whims, but always help her, who would smile and accept her apologies, who would take her hand and drag her out for cake. Her best friend.


    That''s why she was a little angry at the thought of her friend leaving her behind, and conversely, the reality that she was becoming a burden, made her lash out at her friend.


    "Uuu.... Tomorrow, I''ll go to school a little early, and...."


    Thinking about how to approach her friend tomorrow, she, Choi Yeri, slowly closed her cute eyes.


    On a snowy Christmas. Clutching tightly the sky-blue pajamas she had exchanged for her pink scarf.


    "...I''ll say... I''m sorry¡­"


    Surely, her friend.


    Would accept her apology if she was sincere.


    And just like always, they would hold hands, smiling, and go out to play.


    With those thoughts.


    "I have to.....I will¡­"


    She closed her eyes.


    And then, the sun rose.


    A light fog settled.


    Tomorrow, had arrived¡ª


    "¡­Eh...?"


    "..........."


    Dangling, dangling.


    Hanging.


    **


    18.


    At a young age, fell from a window.


    **


    19.


    Fell into a lake, didn''t surface, and died just like that.


    **


    20.


    On a battlefield. After victory, he slit his own throat.


    **


    21.


    22.


    23.


    ¡­


    ..


    776.


    **


    777.


    "This was a blessing."


    I''ve realized the truth of the world.


    And the value of my own life.


    The mission I must fulfill.


    Everything.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 48: 17(?)

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 48 ¡µ Chapter 48. 17(?)


    * * *


    **


    I don''t want a lot for Christmas


    There''s just one thing I need


    I don''t care about presents underneath the Christmas tree


    I just want you for my own more than you could ever know


    Make my wish come true...


    All I want for Christmas Is you...


    ¡¶All I Want For Christmas Is You ¡ª Mariah Carey¡·


    **


    A letter written in neat and clean handwriting, as if reflecting the writer''s emotions.


    The letter, which would have evoked feelings of joy and admiration with its meticulous penmanship, unfortunately had most of its writing smudged due to some liquid.


    Drip, drip.


    The letter, once crisp and new, was now soaked and swollen from the liquid seeping into it.


    And the words, once carefully written, one character at a time, were now washed away by something that had poured like rain, their original forms unrecognizable.


    It was a sight that could only be described as heartbreaking.


    The letter itself, in its ruined state, was a tragedy, vividly showing the reader the writer''s emotions during those brief moments of writing, bringing tears to everyone''s eyes.


    Her family, her friends, everyone.


    Despite the letter being in such a messy state, the fact that she had placed it in her favorite envelope, the one she always cherished, and carefully sealed it, showed her true nature.


    She always wanted to use good things for others, rather than for herself.


    No matter what happened, she always tried her best not to be rude or cause trouble for others.


    Always acting for the sake of others.


    That was, just like her.


    Yes. She was a kind child, too kind for them, loved by everyone and loving everyone until her death.


    Moving down to the bottom of the letter.


    The place where the letter ends.


    There, miraculously, was a single line, untouched by tears, perfectly readable.


    No fear of the impending death.


    No resentment towards those who had driven her to this.


    No gratitude, no love, nothing, for the family and friends who had cared for her.


    A sentence that evoked only despair in those who read it.


    [¡ªI''m so sorry, Yeri. I''m sorry. Please, forgive me.]


    An apology to the friend who had lashed out at her.


    That was the only thing left there.


    That''s right.


    She died without any salvation, until the very end.


    Lonely and alone, in an empty classroom.


    Fighting against the fear of death.


    **


    Clack, clack.


    The teachers'' office, a place that would evoke nostalgia and memories for some.


    The students had all left, and the daytime hustle and bustle had subsided, leaving only the sound of keyboard clicks filling the air.


    No, except for one person''s voice.


    "¡ªTeacher Yeri, why don''t you head home soon?"


    "........Excuse me?"


    That pleasant noise, almost like a melodic song, was interrupted by an unwelcomed visitor.


    Tap, a female teacher entered, opening the door, and addressed her colleague, who was sitting at her desk, working late and organizing materials.


    The person sitting at her desk, called Teacher Yeri, flinched slightly at the sound.


    Seeing that, the teacher who had entered let out a small sigh.


    She''s like a troublesome student, she muttered softly as she walked towards Yeri, who was still sitting at her desk.


    Taking care of her colleague, who always seemed to be chased by something, always looking stressed, had become a habit, a small hobby no one knew about.


    Well, a few people in the teachers'' office had already noticed it, but still.


    She had come to the classroom just in case, and as expected, her colleague was still there, working late.


    ".....Ah, it''s already this late¡­"


    "It''s Christmas Eve tomorrow, you know? Leave the work and go home! Take a good rest!"


    ".........."


    "....Teacher?"


    What is the privilege of being a teacher, a civil servant?


    The answers would vary from person to person, but she believed that clocking in and clocking out on time was the most beautiful right.


    Moreover, tomorrow was Christmas, a golden holiday. She couldn''t understand why her colleague, who was pretty and popular, was still here at this hour when she could have finished up quickly and gone out to meet her boyfriend.


    As for the person in question, her face stiffened the moment she heard the words "Christmas Eve."


    As if she hadn''t known that tomorrow was Christmas Eve.


    As if she had heard something she shouldn''t have.


    "....Are you feeling unwell?"


    "......Ah, I''m fine, Teacher Sehee."


    Did I touch a nerve?


    Sehee, who had thought that, watched as Yeri slowly packed her things, preparing to leave. She then left the teachers'' office, thinking about the happy night that awaited her tomorrow.


    Thinking that everything would be fine.


    And so, the woman named Sehee walked towards the parking lot where her car was parked.


    "........."


    Behind her.


    Unaware of Yeri who was standing still, staring blankly at the empty space.


    **


    Yeri was slowly walking down the street, snow falling around her.


    Christmas Eve, when the stars begin to twinkle in the sky above the trees.


    A night that was neither silent nor holy.


    She walked past the brightly lit shops and the dazzling neon signs, past the people with hopeful, cheerful expressions, and then she threw herself into a narrow, dark alley.


    She took out a slim cigarette, but couldn''t bring herself to light it, just leaned against the cold wall, her back against it.


    Click, click. The lighter in her hand sparked, creating small flames.


    "........."


    Sigh.


    The white breath that escaped her lips slowly rose into the air, then gradually faded and disappeared within seconds.


    Even so, Yeri continued this meaningless act, watching as the smoke dissipated.


    The breath, as white as the clouds floating in the sky, which she thought would float forever, was easily scattered by the slightest breeze and vanished.


    Born, and gone.


    Created, and abandoned.


    "¡ªYuna!! Look at this!!"


    "Wow!! It''s so, sparkly!!"


    "........"


    Her ears, lost in thought, caught the sound of childish voices, and her dull eyes shifted towards the entrance of the alley.


    There, visible through the entrance, two little girls were standing in front of a brightly lit shop window, holding hands, looking at something.


    They weren''t students she taught, but they were about the same age.


    The children, their tiny hands clad in cute tiny mittens, reached out towards the objects on display beyond the window, chatting amongst themselves.


    Standing so close to each other that they seemed to be touching, their faces turned towards each other as they talked, a sight that most adults would be too embarrassed to do, it was a display of childlike innocence, untouched by the world.


    Just like Yeri and¡ª


    "...."


    Yeri, stared at them, mesmerized.


    Silently. In a dark alley, unseen by anyone.


    Did they choose what they wanted? Or did they just want to go into the warm store.


    The girls, who had been chatting excitedly, entered the store, their gloved hands joined together, sharing their warmth.


    Beyond the frosted window, she could see the children placing an order to the kind shopkeeper.


    They looked so happy that Yeri averted her eyes slightly.


    And a few minutes later, the children emerged from the store, smiling, their appearance changed from before.


    At that moment, a cold yet refreshing breeze, unique to winter, blew past.


    And in that breeze, the sky-blue and pink scarves the two children wore fluttered.


    Beautifully.


    Right before her eyes.


    ¡ªThud.


    "....Haa....Haa..."


    The unlit cigarette she had been holding in her mouth fell to the ground.


    Yeri exhaled strongly and clutched her chest hard with her right hand.


    Countless wrinkles appeared on her neatly ironed blouse and her pristine, spotless clothes, devoid of even the smallest stain, creaked and groaned as if in pain.


    Her breath ragged and her lips so cold from the frost that they no longer formed a mist, Yeri could barely breathe.


    But even after a few minutes had passed, Yeri''s breathing didn''t calm down.


    Rather, it became faster, more erratic.


    "...Ha, haa, ha, haa, haa."


    She was no longer just crouching, her entire body had fallen to the ground.


    Lying on the cold, snow-covered ground, she trembled, her body shaking uncontrollably.


    Her body grew increasingly numb, and her lips and eyelids were twitching in small spasm.


    It was a serious situation, one that anyone would recognize as such, but Yeri, her face growing paler with each passing moment, didn''t call for help, instead, she slowly started to strangle herself with her left hand.


    As if, trying to die.


    And so, she forced her disobedient hand to move.


    Her pupils, slowly dilating, were fixated on the image of two scarves fluttering in the distance. S§×ar?h the N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    "....Haha."


    A hollow laugh, echoed through the empty alley.


    **


    Make my wish come true...


    All I want for Christmas Is you...


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 49: Prologue (??).

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 49 ¡µ Chapter 49. Prologue(??).


    * * * S§×ar?h the N??eFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    **


    An unspoken rule that exists in all fairy tales.


    The first child is lazy.


    The second child is greedy.


    And the youngest, the third child, is the most diligent, hardworking, and intelligent of them all.


    What a boring rule.


    The end of a beautiful journey in those stories, a journey that could be long for some, short for others.


    It always ends with the eldest and second child, who had been ignoring and bullying their youngest sibling, receiving a fitting punishment, or with the kind youngest sibling offering forgiveness and salvation to those who repented for their ugly sins.


    Yes.


    As always, the story must end with a happy ending where everyone smiles brightly and embraces each other.


    "Really, such a cliche."


    But after that, were they truly happy?


    Hey, hey, don''t you think so too?


    **


    "¡ªI was a little worried after hearing what Princess Remi said, but it seems like things are going better than I expected?"


    "So that''s what you think, Tessa. Well, I suppose it could seem that way."


    Clink, clink.


    With my small gesture, I could feel a beautiful sound, like a chime, resonating from the glass.


    The sound of ice clinking against the glass, crisp and refreshing.


    It was so refreshing that I wanted to capture it in a small glass bottle and carry it around with me in this hot weather, if only it were possible.


    Of course, it''s impossible.


    I know you can''t capture sound in a bottle, okay?


    It''s just wishful thinking, wishful thinking.


    "I wonder, Tessa, if there exists a device that can capture sound?"


    ".....Hahaha, capturing sound. There''s no way such a thing exists, Princess."


    "This is the empire, isn''t it? You never know."


    "Oh come on, really?"


    The Princess seemed a bit serious, though.


    With each shake, I could see the ice cubes swimming around, floating up and down in the transparent glass without even a hint of cloudiness.


    I wonder what kind of advanced technology was used to create this small, ordinary-looking glass.


    The more I looked at it, the more I felt not just jealousy, but admiration for the empire''s technological prowess.


    Tinkle.


    The bell, attached to a pillar, chimed in the wind.


    Feeling the breeze, Princess Remi and I relaxed in our chairs.


    "Mmm....."


    "Refreshing, isn''t it?"


    The eighth month.


    It was the peak of summer, so hot that just standing outside made sweat trickle down my body.


    In the old days, if this were back when I was the royal librarian, I would have been holed up in the library all day, like a vampire from legend, avoiding the scorching sun.


    Shimmer, heat haze rose from the road.


    To think that on a hot day like this, I would be sitting outside, under a shade, enjoying a cold drink with ice.


    Life, is full of surprises.


    Well.


    Of course, I never imagined I would be chatting so casually with the princess like this.


    And with the second princess, of all people, the one I had the least connection with.


    When she was younger, Princess Anna would often visit the library to find materials for her studies.


    And Princess Aris, would often tag along with her¡ª


    "¡ªIt''s good to hear that you like it, Tessa."


    Tak.


    The woman sitting before me, Princess Remi, gently placed her glass, which she had been sipping from, on the table and looked at me with a playful smile.


    Thinking I had accidentally spoken my thoughts out loud. I felt my legs go numb at her gaze, and I jumped slightly in my chair, averting my eyes.


    The chair rattled.


    The people around us stared at me with a ¡®¡­ What is she doing?¡¯ look, but I just whistled softly, trying to sink the thoughts I had been recalling deep into my heart.


    Yes.


    These are memories I shouldn''t dare to recall anymore.


    Deeper, even deeper.


    Like a heavy weight, sinking to the depths of the ocean, never to resurface.


    Sink, sink, disappear¡ª


    "¡ªPerhaps because the analogy, was just an analogy."


    I forced myself to calm down and continued the conversation with the princess.


    Casually, like always.


    Fortunately, the princess sitting before me seemed to be only momentarily surprised and didn''t seem to mind too much.


    I let out a small sigh of relief.


    "Hmm?"


    "You said it before, didn''t you? About it being a prison, a place of exile, and such miscellaneous things."


    "Ah, did I?"


    Smirk.


    Like a fox, the corners of the Princess''s eyes curved into a gentle arc.


    I saw her amber eyes, so bright like jewels, that I felt like I would be lost if I looked into them for too long.


    A mysterious smile graced her lips, which were resting on her slender hand as she leaned her chin against it.


    A smile that was impossible to decipher, whether it was mocking, or a genuine expression of joy.


    A seductive, almost lewd smile.


    Honestly, I shouldn''t be saying this...


    But she really looked like a temptress.


    A very, very dangerous one at that.


    An adult.


    Just the day before yesterday, Princess Remi had celebrated her sixteenth birthday, finally reaching the adulthood she had been so eagerly anticipating.


    Her beauty, which had been blossoming day by day, had now reached its peak, now exuding such a mature and alluring charm that it was hard to believe she was younger than me.


    If I were to quote a passage I recently read in a book... Yes, a beauty with a face like a flower and a figure like the moon.


    With a single gesture, a single smile.


    A beauty who could bring down an entire kingdom.


    For example, one look at the people passing by who¡¯s mesmerized by the princess''s smile was collapsing as if they had lost their minds, would be enough to understand her level of beauty.


    Men and women alike, all stare this way mindlessly.


    Some men even clutched their hearts and collapsed right there on the street.


    By the way, among them were a married man with children.


    I''m going to beat that bastard up later.


    Well, even if I don''t, the woman next to him looks like she''s about to kill him.


    At such an unsightly scene, I snapped out of my daze and shooed away those infatuated men.


    Shoo, shoo.


    Get lost.


    Perhaps it was because I had seen the princess since she was a child, but I was somehow able to adjust to her bewitching beauty.


    However, she didn''t seem to care about my struggles, continuing our conversation without even glancing at the people around her.


    Really, she''s as self-centered as ever, this princess.


    But that''s why, I followed her all the way here.


    "At any rate, it''s a royal academic research institution located in the heart of the empire ¡ª Museion."


    "Mmm....."


    "Well, that''s the gist of it."


    Two.


    Index finger and thumb.


    Princess Remi picked up a small ice cube from her glass, using her fingers like tweezers.


    Tok, tok. Using that ice dripping with water, the Princess began drawing on the wooden table.


    Curves and straight lines.


    Big circles and small circles.


    Squiggly worms and diamonds.


    A distorted pentagon and a crescent moon with one side unusually long.


    She continued to complete her own drawing with a smile that seemed all too joyful.


    "Some people believe that loyalty earned through fear is only temporary."


    "The empire."


    "Yes, correct."


    Tok, tok.


    The drawing on the table grew larger and larger, and when the ice cube melted completely, she fished out another one from her glass.


    The light scattering from the ice cube, sparkled brilliantly.


    "To slowly devour everything, that''s what they chose."


    The Akard Empire.


    A kingdom at the peak of its power.


    A kingdom that had declared itself an empire, its ruler an emperor.


    And yet, their insatiable greed, was like watching a pack of starving wolves.


    How can one even attempt to perfectly define them with a single word, but I dare to, allow me to gather my courage and say, with all due respect:


    They are predators, devouring everything in their path.


    "They show off the empire''s advanced culture and knowledge, to those who come to study. Yes... Just like this glass."


    Clink.


    She flicked the glass lightly with her little finger.


    Territory, military, culture, art, academics, politics, philosophy, lifestyle, sanitation.


    The empire had already surpassed all the surrounding kingdoms in every aspect.


    All roads lead to the empire.


    And those roads, are now ready to extend outwards.


    That''s what she was saying.


    "The smaller it is, the more common it is, the better. Because those who are unworthy of recognizing its value, are useless to the empire. They''re the ones who gave it the nickname ''banquet hall''."


    "......"


    "And conversely, those who do recognize its value, will naturally become favorable towards the empire, consciously or unconsciously."


    Just like us.


    Princess Remi''s eyes, still sparkling with amusement, were saying that.


    I, who had been completely awed by the empire''s untouchable technology, couldn''t help but smile wryly, acknowledging her words.


    Truly, amazing.


    Both the empire.


    And, her.


    "There''s a saying, numbers are power."


    What would happen if a school of small sardines, all cried out in unison?


    They would say that there''s no way we, insignificant compared to the empire, could ever stand against them.


    That we should follow their example, embrace their culture and ideas, and open the doors to reform.


    Look at their benevolent conquest. Wouldn''t it be better to voluntarily become a vassal state?


    The more officials who made such claims, the more isolated those who opposed the empire in the royal court would become.


    I wanted to argue that it was a ridiculous notion, but it was already happening, everywhere.


    Clink.


    "¡ªHow is it?"


    "........"


    Sip. Princess Remi finished her drawing and took a small sip of her drink, the ice now completely melted, and asked me.


    A world map, drawn with water droplets, was completed on the table.


    She looked at it with sharp eyes, as if trying to see through the essence of the world.


    A brilliant mind, quickly analyzing the situation and offering the best possible solution.


    Really, where had the whiny, spoiled little princess gone?


    I couldn''t hide my surprise.


    "I see.¡­"


    But somehow her smug, confident look made me feel a little mischievous.


    I couldn''t help but tease her.


    "¡ªYou really can''t draw, can you?"


    "¡­Eh!?"


    For your information, It took two whole days, to appease the sulking princess.


    Hahaha.


    She''s still a child after all.


    **


    "By the way, Tessa. Didn''t you say a transfer student was coming today?"


    "Ah, you mean the one dispatched from the Wallenstein mercenary group owned by the Empire under an exchange program?"


    "Yes. I remember her name being quite unique. Her face was also unique¡­ But I can''t quite remember. Si¡­ Si, something like that."


    "Her name? I found it a bit unique too, so I memorized it."


    "If I''m not mistaken, her name was¡­ Han Sia, wasn''t it?"


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 50: Standing Alone.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 50 ¡µ Chapter 50. Standing Alone.


    * * *


    **


    Building new relationships is always a daunting task.


    Unfamiliar people, and unfamiliar places.


    I''m not naive enough to smile and be at ease in a situation where I''m thrown into a faraway land, alone, without a single person to rely on.


    Surrounded by thorns.


    A vast savanna, where hungry beasts roam, with no place to hide.


    Who could possibly be at ease in such a place?


    At least, not me.


    An indescribable sense of loss washed over me, and I desperately wanted to stop walking, but even so, I continued to move forward, one step at a time.


    Because behind me, beside me, there was someone supporting me.


    Step, step.


    The sound of two sets of footsteps, a little more than one person''s worth, echoed through the wide hallway.


    "¡ªThis is the classroom where Miss Han will be attending classes from now on. Is there anything else you need me to explain?"


    "Ah, no. That''s enough¡­ Haha."


    "...If you have any questions, please don''t hesitate to ask the receptionist who is always stationed in the building."


    Seeing her bow deeply before me, I too bowed my head in return.


    Perhaps she found my bewildered appearance amusing and refreshing?


    I heard the staff member''s human-like chuckle from behind me.


    The staff member, dressed in a neat and tidy outfit, reminiscent of the business attire from my past life, yet beautiful enough to be called ''elegant'', spoke to me in an incredibly polite tone that made me feel awkward.


    Indeed.


    This is what you would expect from the people of the empire, famous for their slogan, ''Nothing is a sin except for sin itself''.


    An empire that accepts all kinds of backgrounds and cultures of other kingdoms to that extent.


    But it was just that hostility towards the unknown had changed into eyes that saw the strange and the novel.


    Black hair and black eyes.


    It was a rare appearance even in the empire, so the looks I received, as if I were an alien, always followed me, and it wasn''t something I could easily get used to.


    Rather, it was more unpleasant¡ª


    "Then, I''ll take my leave."


    "¡­Yes, thank you for your assistance."


    To be honest, the fear of others still lingered within me.


    Just like how a deep scar remains even after receiving the best treatment, the scars from Syria Village always haunted me.


    The chatter of people passing by sounded like they were gossiping about me, and everyone who approached me seemed suspicious.


    ¡­Though, it''s much better than before.


    The cold persecution and harsh treatment I''ve continuously experienced in my second life for no reason, had become a deeply ingrained trauma, so it couldn''t be helped.


    "¡­So this is the academy I''ve only heard stories about."


    But I learned.


    That all the people I cherish and feel close to, started from small connections.


    Alice, who''s now irreplaceable.


    And Saelli, who I had some arguments and fights at first, but now, after revealing everything, we could talk comfortably, trusting each other.


    All of them, started from zero.


    Even if you can''t understand each other''s true feelings, you have to trust others first.


    Otherwise, a relationship can''t even be born.


    I was able to learn through Alice that what I needed was trust.


    ¡­Well, I think Alice also needs to learn how to be a little more suspicious of people, though.


    "That child, is too kind for her own good."


    Tap, tap.


    The staff member left, and now the only presence in the quiet space was mine.


    Walking slowly through the hallway that connected the buildings, I reminisced about the memories that had become a distant past.


    I walked in the present while recalling the past.


    The warm sunlight stung my eyes, but I didn''t care, and instead I opened my eyes wide, etching this moment into my mind.


    I am alive.


    "Huu¡ª"


    In my previous, complicated life, I had dreamed of this small hope, small and distant, like gazing at an unreachable star.


    And now, a dream that had miraculously come true.


    Yes.


    I am now at the academy.


    **


    A beautiful voice, unwavering and clear, filled the classroom.


    Students in the prime of their youth listened intently to every word of the woman holding the small, thin pointer, diligently writing down everything, especially the parts that could appear on the test.


    Of course, there were also students who were dozing off or goofing off.


    It was a sight that would make anyone frown, but the teacher continued her lecture without paying any mind to it.


    "It''s no exaggeration to say that the history of the Akard Empire, is a history built alongside mercenaries."


    She spoke of the past, of history.


    Once, the Akard Empire was just a small, merchant kingdom.


    Of course, they had a standing army managed by the state, but because the number of citizens was small, the life of each individual was precious, so they still relied heavily on mercenaries for their military force.


    Mercenaries.


    They boasted unique combat skills and specialized tactics, and mercenary work was considered one of the oldest professions in human history.


    People for whom money is life itself.


    But perhaps because of their nature, living and dying by money, frequent conflicts arising from payment issues were inevitable.


    In fact, many kingdoms that had hired mercenaries without properly considering these drawbacks had learned bitter lessons.


    Except for one.


    Unlike other kingdoms that faced problems like rebellions, the Akard Empire, thanks to its active trade, generated a substantial income and was able to resolve the issue of mercenary payments to a certain extent.


    The empire, who paid money and asked for protection.


    The mercenaries, who protected the kingdom and received money.


    It was a perfect alignment of interests.


    The empire and the mercenaries built a strong relationship of trust, to the point where even some of the royal guard protecting the royal family were mercenaries, and their bond grew stronger with each passing day.


    The mercenaries also preferred the Akard Empire over other kingdoms where they were more likely to be cheated out of their pay, and many skilled mercenaries had already immigrated to the empire.


    It was a huge boon for the empire.


    Because soon, the clouds of war that would cover the sky and more were looming


    "Fortunately, the war that shook the world, completely passed by the empire."


    There''s a theory called the ''Three Gunmen Theory''. (TL Note: This is similar to the ¡®The wizard standoff riddle¡¯ if you¡¯re familiar with Ted-Ed, just that now everyone shoots simultaneously.)


    One gunman with a 100% accuracy rate.


    Another with a 70% accuracy rate.


    And the last one, with a 30% accuracy rate.


    If all three of them fired a bullet at the same time, who would be most likely to survive? That''s what the theory is about.


    And the answer to this theory, which might come as a shock.


    It is, surprisingly, the least skilled gunman is the most likely to survive.


    The weakest, who¡¯s not even considered a threat, has the highest chance of survival.


    Isn''t it, ironic?


    But the world is, inherently unfair.


    Irrational, illogical, a series of coincidences.


    "But why didn¡¯t the other powerful kingdoms invade the Akard Empire at that time?"


    "...We can''t say for sure what those kingdoms were thinking at that time, as we weren''t them."


    A question from one of the students who had been listening intently.


    Even at this pointed question that struck the core and might have been embarrassing at first glance, the teacher continued her lecture without missing a beat.


    The pointer in her hand lightly traced the locations of the powerful kingdoms that had waged war at that time.


    "Of course, the geographical advantage that Akard Empire possessed would have been enough to make them envious¡ª"


    A port, a bridgehead for war.


    The student''s question was valid, it would be strange if they *hadn¡¯t* targeted it.


    But what he had forgotten was that the world doesn''t work in such a simple way.


    "There are a few possible explanations."


    Tap, tap.


    Adding that it was just speculation, she raised her thin finger and began to explain the reasons one by one.


    She said,


    Perhaps, while engaged in a full-scale war with other kingdoms, they deemed it too risky to attack the Akard Empire, despite its small size, because of its robust military strength.


    Or perhaps, they were hesitant to seize this strategically important location, fearing that other kingdoms would attack them like hyenas the moment they took control.


    Or maybe, they simply didn''t have the resources to spare.


    "In conclusion, whatever the reason, the Akard Empire not only survived the war that engulfed all the other kingdoms, but it also started to conquer the surrounding kingdoms one by one, using the massive profits they had accumulated while the other kingdoms were weakened by war."


    Simply put, it was just luck. sea??h th§× NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Great fortune, born from a series of small lucky coincidences.


    An opportunity that could be missed with the slightest mistake.


    The Akard Empire, simply seized it.


    But the fact that they had reached this point through luck, not skill, could have been a blessing in disguise.


    Because they knew that everything was due to luck, they didn''t become arrogant and continued to work hard.


    "But despite the empire''s growth, the need for mercenaries didn''t decrease, but rather, became even more prominent."


    An expanded territory, a larger population, and a kingdom generating massive profits.


    But a fattened pig is nothing more than a meal for wild beasts.


    The empire had to sharpen its fangs and claws to defend itself, even if it led to other problems.


    "Maintaining an army, is incredibly expensive..."


    "That''s correct."


    Money.


    Not only waging war, but even the process of conscripting and training soldiers required enormous expenditures.


    Feeding, washing, and housing them.


    And on top of those explicit costs, there were also implicit costs, such as the loss of productivity in agriculture and manufacturing. Building a powerful military that matched the size of the empire wasn''t as easy as it seemed.


    And once again, mercenaries came into the spotlight.


    Instead of maintaining a standing army that was useless except in times of war, they converted them into mercenaries who could gain experience and generate income by taking on missions.


    Killing two birds with one stone.


    Mercenaries, with their versatility and usefulness as a standing army, were the perfect solution for the empire, which had always been favorable towards mercenaries and had a long history of employing them.


    In other words, the history of the empire is the history of mercenaries.


    Mercenaries, who pursued freedom and wealth, were the symbol and pride of the empire.


    That''s why, it was only natural for them to come to the Museion.


    "¡ªSo, please welcome with a round of applause, the classmate who will be joining you for the next three years, sharing her knowledge and experience on mercenaries!"


    """.....!!!"""


    A sudden introduction.


    It was a surprise, but the students had been given some heads-up, so they quickly regained their composure.


    And soon, the classroom was filled with thunderous applause, their excitement palpable.


    Even the students who were calmly seated couldn''t hide the excitement on their faces.


    The teacher, who had been lecturing at the podium, turned her body slightly towards the entrance she had come from.


    ¡ªClick.


    The door opened with a small sound.


    "Let me introduce, a member of the Wallenstein Mercenary Group, the Wings of the Empire."


    The name she uttered was that of a mercenary group that had recently gained fame and recognition.


    The sound of footsteps echoing proudly amidst the cheers, heightened the tension.


    Slowly, a figure appeared.


    "¡ªThis is Miss Han Sia."


    "...It''s a pleasure to meet you all."


    The appearance of a new visitor.


    The classroom was filled with applause so intense it was almost painful.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 51: Truth.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 51 ¡µ Chapter 51. Truth.


    * * *


    **


    If someone were to ask me what my position was at the academy, at the Museion, I probably wouldn''t be able to answer right away.


    But if they kept asking, I would eventually answer, after much deliberation, that I was a ''mercenary''.


    ...It''s just too vague, you see.


    Officially, I was a student enrolled at the Museion, but I didn''t bear any of the obligations that other students typically had, like paying tuition fees.


    Rather, I was on the receiving end, getting paid regularly like a salary.


    In exchange, you could say, I had to lead or teach certain classes, but that''s beside the point.


    For instance, just like now.


    "¡ªTherefore, today, we''ll start with a brief explanation from Miss Han, and then proceed with the lesson using the textbook."


    "....Yes."


    I had gotten used to this by now, so I got up from my seat, carefully moving my chair back without making a sound.


    Eyes, eyes, eyes.


    As I was met with a barrage of stares from a dozen or so pairs of eyes, I forced my trembling legs to move, walking towards the front of the classroom.


    ¡®Sis¡­ Are you sure you¡¯ll be okay¡­?¡¯


    ¡®Hehe! Don''t worry, Alice. Just trust this big sis!!''


    ¡®.....You, idiot.¡¯


    In my mind, I recall Alice''s worried expression as she saw me off.


    And behind her, Saelli, giving me a disappointed look as I boasted.


    Honestly, it didn''t seem like I could fall any lower¡­ But as an older sister, I couldn''t show any weakness, so I responded to Alice with a confident voice.


    Completely oblivious to the fact that I was about to ride a roller coaster to hell.


    So, what would I say if I could go back to that time?


    .....Hmm.


    ¡ªAlice, save me....!!!


    ¡ªI lied when I said I was okay¡­!!


    ¡ªI want to go back¡­!!


    ¡­I''d probably say something like that.


    Really.


    Why didn''t I stay with the lovely Alice instead of coming here alone?


    Ever since I arrived, I''ve been kicking myself every day, regretting my decision, but there''s no way to turn back time.


    History has no room for "what ifs."


    The only thing that exists here is my ''will'' to teach this class....


    The only thing that awaits me is, my own doom...!!


    "¡­Uh¡­ um, first of all, mercenaries are often hired for their highly skilled and specialized roles(?), such as cavalry or archers. The famous Buhur cavalry, is one such example."


    Ueueueueueue....


    I don''t even know what I''m talking about, but I somehow managed to compose my trembling voice and continued the lesson with a straight face.


    Is this loud enough¡­£¿


    It... it should be...right?


    While keeping an eye on people''s reactions, I kept swallowing my saliva, worried that they might notice my trembling voice and quickening intonation as I spewed out my explanation.


    ¡­Though it seemed the teacher next to me had seen through everything.


    Her face was composed, maintaining the image of a stern teacher, but up close, I could see the amusement in her slightly raised eyebrows and the corner of her lips clearly revealing her true feelings.


    To think earning money would be this difficult.


    An intense reality check, something I had never experienced before, hit me.


    "They don¡¯t count lancers by the ¡®head¡¯, but rather, group them into ¡®lance¡¯ units, and contracts are actually signed per ¡®lance¡¯ as well. The reason is¡­ For one lancer to exist, they need at least five assistants and attendants¡ª"


    """..........."""


    This attention is too overwhelming.


    Truthfully, I''m just a beginner, who hasn''t even been doing this for a year.


    Truthfully, I''m ashamed to even be called a mercenary.


    Truthfully, I only got this opportunity because the personalities of other mercenaries my age were all messed up.


    But they seemed to be mesmerized by my ''mercenary'' title, and every time I stood at the podium, the intense gazes following me only added to my burden.


    I just came to the academy to slack off, thinking it would be a cushy job, after listening to my seniors.


    There was a reason everyone had smiled and seen me off¡­!


    But even as my insides were turning upside down in real-time, there was a separate reason that was really destroying me inside.


    "........."


    Looking here, looking there.


    This way, that way.


    There was someone observing my every move, as if trying to search for something,


    You could call it paranoia, but my intuition, honed from my past experiences, was telling me it was true.


    That she was watching me intently.


    Those shifty, seemingly out-of-place (??) eyes, what are they so desperately trying to find in me?


    A gaze that some might welcome, or some might even be happy about.


    But for me, who had felt a deep sense of unease towards her from the moment we first met, it was anything but welcoming.


    I had also been startled and terrified when I heard that she would be in the same classroom as me.


    And I had thought that I should never let Alice and her meet, no matter what.


    Because.


    Her name was Remi Akaia.


    The princess of the Tesillia Kingdom and a student at the same academy as me.


    And¡ª


    ¡ªAlice''s real family.


    "....The word ''Freelancer'', was also coined from this¡ª"


    A shudder runs through my body.


    Why can''t anything in the world flow smoothly?


    I continued the lesson, my heart filled with complaints.


    By the way.


    Only after ten minutes, was I finally freed.


    Hiiing.


    **


    The crack of dawn, when kind children like Alice would have been fast asleep.


    Bad adults who were neither kind nor a child, the kind you could find anywhere, were wandering in the cold, damp night air, treading on dew-wet grass.


    Just walking, wherever their feet took them.


    With no destination in mind, aimlessly.


    "....You know what I''m going to say, right?"


    "......."


    Except for the chirping of insect, it was an incredibly quiet dawn in the forest.


    A perfect silence, so serene it felt like it would be a shame to break it.


    In it, I was the one who opened the dialogue first.


    Well, I was the one who woke this person up and brought them out here in the first place.


    The cruel monster who had mercilessly devoured the villagers that had attacked Alice.


    And the person Alice called ''Big Sis Elli'', the one she followed like a real family.


    Saelli.


    She was standing beside me now.


    "¡ªSpeak, Saelli. No, please tell me. What happened to Alice in the past?"


    With a mix of anger, fear, and sadness in my voice. I asked her.


    "......."


    But she didn''t react to my question at all, just looking up at the empty sky.


    With a resigned expression, as if she had finally accepted what was to come.


    She stared at the invisible stars, the night sky above us, painted a dark grey by the thick clouds that had gathered.


    The confrontation between me and her.


    It had all started when I took a bath with Alice.


    It¡¯s embarrassing to admit, but I was learning basic swordsmanship from Alice, who was physically handicapped.


    When Alice first offered to teach me swordsmanship, I was skeptical and watched with worry, but the moment I saw her swordsmanship, as if the sword was alive, I was mesmerized, and before I knew it, I was doing push-ups as she instructed.


    ¡­Well, I have my own fantasies too, you know.


    Swish, swish, like that. Swish! You know what I mean.


    Of course, the sword she wielded with one hand didn''t seem to carry much force, but even to a beginner like me, the sharp trajectory the sword left behind was high level.


    Especially since the person who did it had a ''Huh, this works?¡¯ look on her face.


    Well, that''s how it happened.


    After that, it was simple.


    Saelli, as a precautionary measure, would always be present during my lessons, and I was growing steadily under Alice''s tutelage.


    In fact, her teaching was so detailed and easy to understand that even a beginner like me could grasp it.


    They say effort is often expressed through blood and sweat, right?


    Thanks to that, Alice and I would both be covered in sweat after each training session.


    So usually, Alice would take a bath first while I continued training, and then I would go in after her...


    But that day was different.


    We were both tired, so we decided to cut the training short and take a bath together.


    Of course, Alice said that I would be uncomfortable seeing her body and offered to let me wash first, but I insisted it was okay and grabbed her wrist, and we entered the bathroom together¡ª


    And that became the root of the problem.


    "...The uneven surface of her wrist. Seeing it up close, it was clearly a ''bite mark''. And then, I remembered what Alice had told me before."


    "......."


    "I don''t want to believe it, but I have to ask."


    Of course, it would be a lie to say I wasn''t prepared.


    I already knew that Alice didn''t have a wrist, having lived with her, and I also knew that her body was covered in countless scars, hidden by her clothes, memories that were etched into my mind.


    So I thought I would be okay.


    But as always, I was stupid, an idiot who couldn''t control herself.


    The first time.


    When I saw Alice''s naked body, without a single thread of clothing, right in front of me, my previous resolve crumbled, and my mind went blank, I couldn''t think straight.


    I was so grateful that my body, which had instinctively turned her around so she couldn''t see my face and embraced her from behind, was functioning properly.


    ''¡­Sis?''


    ''¡­ Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.''


    Scars,


    Scars,


    And, more scars.


    Her body was covered in scars.


    Even when Alice softly called out my name, I didn''t answer, afraid that she would notice the tremor in my voice, I just stayed still.


    Muttering apologies, which would never reach her.


    It was sad and pathetic.


    Why. That question wouldn''t leave my head.


    The scar that ran across her stomach, reaching her back, I couldn''t even imagine what kind of pain she must have endured to get that.


    There was a spot on her calf, where the flesh had been gouged out, as if someone had dug into it with something sharp, so deep that I could see through it with my own eyes.


    And when I saw her wrist, the clear bite marks of something, I realized I had opened Pandora''s Box, a box that should have remained sealed.


    To that extent, the wounds I saw directly with my own eyes, right in front of me, came as too great a shock to me.


    Enough to make me instinctively turn my head away.


    ''......!!'' S~ea??h the NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    I desperately tried to suppress the urge to vomit.


    After a long struggle, when I finally came to my senses, my gaze was fixed on something else, anything but Alice''s body.


    At least it was a relief that Alice was still embraced in my arms, so she didn''t see me looking away from her body.


    Yes.


    I had, once again, made the same mistake.


    That''s why I had to know.


    To prevent myself from repeating that mistake.


    Even if what I''m peering into is just a part of an abyss with no visible end.


    I had to know.


    "Tell me everything."


    "........"


    Alice''s past.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 52: Staring Contest.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 52 ¡µ Chapter 52. Staring Contest.


    * * *


    **


    Pandora, the first woman in Greek mythology.


    Her name means ''the all-gifted''.


    She was blessed with many gifts from the gods, but unfortunately, she was also given curiosity.


    Pandora, unable to resist her overwhelming curiosity, ignored the warnings to never open it, and secretly took out a jar and opened it wide. (TL Note: In the original Greek myth, it was actually a jar, ¡®box¡¯ was a popular mistranslation.)


    To think that a jar, created to be opened and closed, was forbidden from being opened, how frustrating.


    A spear and a shield.


    A contradiction, in a word.


    That''s why the jar was destined to be opened eventually.


    Even if it wasn''t her, someone else would have done it.


    If she was guilty of anything, it was simply that she was the one who did it.


    Disease, poverty, disaster, death, hatred, sorrow, malice, anger, greed, jealousy.


    The jar contained all the evils that the gods had put there to inflict suffering upon humanity.


    And at the very bottom of that jar, filled with evils that would make anyone shudder, for some reason, a small hope was placed.


    The primal human desire for the unknown, a small act to satisfy that desire.


    But the price for that small act was enormous.


    In a very short time.


    The moment the jar was opened, everything inside escaped, and by the time the horrified Pandora closed it again, the evils had already spread throughout the world.


    She struggled desperately, but they were like spilled water on sand, irretrievable, long gone.


    And in the end, humanity, because of one person''s small act of curiosity, was torn apart and divided, destined to live a life of suffering.


    Cursing each other, even as they died, swept away by the great flood sent down to exterminate humanity.


    The story seemed to end with that sad conclusion.


    But then it''s revealed that only hope remained trapped inside the jar, unable to escape, forever imprisoned.


    Yes.


    Hope couldn''t escape.


    Forever, until the very end, it was trapped inside the box, unable to come out.


    Leaving us with a small lesson, ''curiosity comes at a price'', the fictional story, whether true or not, ends with the usual happy ending where humans continue to live, believing in the hope that might exist inside the box.


    Why.


    Why could people, despite the fact that hope was clearly trapped in the jar and couldn''t spread throughout the world, endure their hardships, believing in a brighter tomorrow.


    How.


    How did that absurd thing called ''hope'', exist alone amidst the evils that were destroying the world.


    What if.


    What if that thing called ''hope'', had been released from the jar. What would have happened to the world.


    There''s no need to even consider those curiosities.


    The story had already ended, with everyone smiling, living a hopeful tomorrow.


    We shouldn''t think about those things anymore.


    Yes.


    So.


    ''What if'', ''how'', ''why''.


    Such useless curiosity.


    Should never be entertained.


    **


    She''s looking at me again.


    "........"


    "........"


    The intense gaze from the seat next to me, I had given up counting how many times it had happened.


    Such a blatant stare, as if trying to bore a hole through my face, completely unconcerned about the reactions of those around her.


    Cold sweat was already trickling down my forehead.


    The owner of that gaze, was Remi Akaia.


    The person I was most trying to avoid, she was number one on my list.


    For the record, my opinion of her was plummeting by the day.


    And the questioning glances from a few people, who had noticed the awkward tension between us, only made my headache worse.


    For one, she''s royalty, and I''m a mercenary.


    Plus, I was just a commoner.


    I held my throbbing head with both hands from the stress and muttered to myself.


    Seriously, what does she want from me.


    I even started to wonder if this was a new form of bullying, if she was discriminating against me because I was a mercenary, my mind was filled with such absurd thoughts.


    Well, I knew the reason, more or less.


    "¡ªWhich is why, this is especially true for the policies of Emperor Di Buonaparte, who is known to have led the golden age of the empire¡ª"


    "........."


    Especially since Remi Akaia''s gaze intensified whenever the accessory I was wearing on my wrist peeked out from my sleeve as I was taking notes.


    Twitching her hands and feet, as if trying hard to recall something. S~ea??h the NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Staring intently, this way.


    Her behavior had been unpredictable ever since she entered the academy.


    When I first realized that she wasn''t looking at me, but at this, I was truly shocked.


    For a moment, My heart skipped a beat, and I felt like I was sinking.


    "......BuBu...onaona, PaPa...rte.."


    Scratch, scratch.


    I glanced down at my wrist, listening to the pleasant sound of the dip pen''s nib, equipped with a reservoir, gliding across the rough surface of the paper.


    There was a bracelet made of small, beautiful, colorful flowers, the likes of which I had never seen before in my life.


    The comfort and security of the bracelet, custom-made just for me, fitting perfectly on my wrist as if it had always belonged there.


    The warmth emanating from it was my source of strength, helping me endure each day, a girl alone in a foreign land, living in constant anxiety.


    Those flowers, which were clearly artificial, seemed to emit a faint fragrance, though it might have been my imagination.


    You could interpret it as just a gaze directed at a rare accessory, but I, who had too many things to be guilty about, couldn''t just relax and think that way.


    ¡­Because, Alice made this for me.


    That''s right. I had a bomb on my hand.


    A dangerous bomb that, if detonated, could endanger not only my life, but the lives of everyone I knew.


    And here I was, clutching it tightly.


    This is driving me crazy¡­


    I even considered taking it off and hiding it.


    But this was a precious bracelet, made by Alice, who had stayed up all night to create it with artificial flowers (??) after seeing me wearing the bracelet she had made for me before, the one with real flowers and stems that had withered. It was a gift for becoming a mercenary.


    She told me to always wear it on my wrist, that I wouldn''t have to worry about it wearing out and breaking anymore.


    A bracelet, one of a kind in the world, made just for me.


    My one and only treasure.


    ''¡ªReally, Congratulations!!''


    ''.....Alic,e.''


    The feeling I had when I first received it, was beyond words.


    I was so happy I felt like I could fly, and at the same time, something welled up inside my chest.


    Because I could clearly picture Alice working late into the night, her small hand diligently crafting this gift for me.


    So I couldn''t laugh, nor could I cry.


    Just a twisted smile and tears streaming down my cheeks were the only way I could express my gratitude to Alice.


    I was just staring at it, afraid of accidentally breaking it, unable to even wear it on my wrist, and Alice, with a bright smile and her tiny hands, approached me and put it on for me.


    She said she would make me a new one if I ever lost it.


    She said I could throw it away if I didn''t like it.


    Hearing those words, I vowed to never let go of this bracelet.


    Yes.


    Alice probably wouldn''t say anything even if I didn''t wear this bracelet.


    It was just a promise I made to myself, a delusion after all.


    But, even so.


    I could never let go of this bracelet.


    Well, now that she¡¯s seen it.


    It would be even more suspicious if I suddenly stopped wearing it, wouldn''t it? It wouldn''t look normal.


    And it was too far-fetched to think that she would realize that I had a connection to her supposedly dead younger sister just because of a bracelet.


    So I decided to just leave it as it is.


    ¡­In time, this excessive attention will fade away.


    ".........."


    ".........."


    Therefore.


    The only thing I could do was to diligently take notes on the teacher''s lecture, sitting stiffly with a straight back, sweat trickling down my face


    Even with her gaze scanning my entire body as if trying to see through me, I, a commoner among commoners, couldn''t even think about complaining or speaking up.


    I have to get out of this academy quickly, somehow.


    I can''t live like this¡­!!


    "¡ªWith that, we''ll end the class here."


    "....!!"


    Thud.


    The hourglass that had been flipped over at the start of the class.


    The moment the last grain of sand fell, the teacher''s seemingly endless writing stopped abruptly, as if it were a lie,


    The sound signaled the end of the class, and the classroom was filled with the groans from the students.


    It sounded like a horde of zombies, groaning.


    I let out a sigh of relief and quickly packed my things.


    "Th-thank you for your hard work..!!"


    "........."


    I gave a small bow to the teacher as she left the classroom.


    And then, I headed towards the training grounds, where my next class, ''Self-Defense Swordsmanship'', would be held.


    To get away from her, afraid that she might read my mind.


    To keep my secret hidden, as much as possible.


    "¡­Huu."


    Filled with fear, I hurriedly escaped.


    Without looking back.


    **


    "This is where, Sis Sia is."


    The crossing paths, will be soon.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 53: Following.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 53 ¡µ Chapter 53. Following.


    * * *


    **


    Squeeze, squeeze.


    "....Will I. For the next three years, will I really... be able to survive?"


    The lament of a girl who had just turned sixteen, still years away from turning twenty.


    You might think it''s a pointless worry, but right now, I''m genuinely concerned about my life.


    Death threats?


    I wish that was all I had to worry about.


    My arm ached so badly that I wondered if it would bruise.


    Afraid of accidentally touching the swollen area, I diligently massaged the area around my forearm, blowing on it to cool it down.


    It was a strange sensation, painful yet soothing, I wanted to stop, yet I wanted to continue.


    "......Hmm."


    On my forearm, which had been clean without a single scar, a long, straight red mark was clearly imprinted.


    What in the world had happened?


    It''s exactly like the saying "a bolt from the blue" - a perfect fit for this situation.


    Well, at least the thirty minutes of massage had been enough to alleviate the excruciating pain that had been threatening to overwhelm me.


    Though, it still ached.


    ¡­Is it okay to touch it now?


    ¡ªTap.


    ".....!!"


    Nooooooooooo¡ª!!


    I tentatively pressed the swollen area, and my body jumped as if I had been electrocuted.


    Like a flounder, pulled out of a water tank.


    Flop, flop, I covered my mouth to stifle the groan that was about to escape, and only after banging my head against the wall I was leaning on several times was I able to calm down.


    A person suddenly banging their head against a wall, that was me.


    "....Waaah¡­"


    Waaah....waaah....


    I''m tired....


    I want to go home¡­


    Overwhelmed by self-pity, I glared at my arm resentfully.


    The red, swollen mark was a clear testament to the intensity of today''s swordsmanship class, a battlefield in its own right.


    Self-defense(??), they said!!


    A technique to protect yourself, they said!!


    If this is a ''self-defense'' swordsmanship class¡­ then what in the world were the things I''ve been through¡­until now¡­!?


    A wave of frustration washed over me.


    I lamented my misfortune countless times in my mind, but in this empty space, there was no one to listen to my complaints.


    Fear gripped me, the fear that I might actually die here, just like this.


    It even made me feel like the bandit subjugation I had participated in before with my seniors, back when I was still a clueless newbie who hadn''t even earned the title of mercenary, was easier than this.


    Yes, subjugation.


    As if I had come to hell, blood and flesh flying everywhere¡ª


    ''¡­Behind?! You, you little¡ª!?''


    ''A dead bastard''s the idiot. Remember this, Han. Kick them in the balls, or the eyes, whatever. A dead man can''t talk.''


    ¡­A combination of strategy and tactics¡ª


    Stab! Stab! Pierce!


    ''Kya¡­ AaaaAAaH¡­ M-MoTheR¡­¡¯


    ''That... isn''t it not that they can¡¯t talk, but that they can scream, Senior?''


    ''A person is either a man or a woman. Therefore, that bastard is not a person.''


    ''Ah.''


    Such a scene where swords clash against swords....um....


    Uh, umm.


    ¡­It might seem strange, but yes, it was a bandit subjugation.


    Throwing dirt in each other''s eyes, tripping each other, stabbing each other in the back, it was a common occurrence, but it was still a bandit subjugation led by mercenaries.


    At least, it is, as far as I know. Yeah.


    I remember watching with trembling hands and feet, witnessing a fight where blood splattered everywhere for the first time in my life, but why is this the only scene that comes to mind?


    It''s all because of today''s class.


    Ah, by the way, what happened in the swordsmanship class was¡ª


    ¡­


    ''¡ªDIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!''


    ''Hiiiiiiieeeek¡ª!?''


    The moment she picked up her sword, her expression hardened, and she looked at me with murderous intent in her eyes, a look that only someone who had killed a person or two could have.


    If you have a sworn enemy, I''m sorry, but I don''t think it''s me.


    You don''t have one? Then why did you do that to me?


    No, seriously, why¡­


    I looked at the teacher, who was supposed to be the referee, hoping for help, but the teacher had already retreated from the arena.


    My classmates, whom I had considered friends, were outside the arena, their hands clasped together, praying for my survival.


    Should I be grateful that they''re at least praying for me?


    Even now, I wanted to praise myself for not turning around and running away from the arena.


    No, thinking about it now, I should have just turned around and run away.


    Pride? What''s that, can you eat it?


    ''¡­Um, Your Highness?''


    ''............''


    Despite my pleading eyes, filled with the desperate hope that she would go easy on me, she just smiled, chased away the person who was originally supposed to be my opponent, and approached me, requesting a spar. She then gritted her teeth and swung down her sword.


    Clang, clang. A deafening sound that was hard to believe it was just wood hitting wood was born between us.


    Block, dodge, block again.


    Where did she get that monstrous strength from, those slender arms and legs?


    The more I blocked, the stronger her attacks became, and I even thought it would be easier to just get hit once and lose consciousness.


    That is, until I saw the floor caving in from the impact of her sword.


    Ah, that''s not happening.


    How many times did I block her attacks?


    Crack, a loud sound echoed through the arena.


    Her attack, filled with genuine murderous intent, was too much for the wooden practice sword, and it shattered into pieces.


    Countless fragments, like flower petals, danced before my eyes, and through them, I saw her eyes, filled with murderous intent¡­ S§×arch* The nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    I thought it would end there since her sword was broken, but it didn''t.


    I thought the match would end in a draw, but to me, who thought so, the sight of her charging at me, wielding the broken half of her sword, and the next thing I knew, she was pressing it against my arm, leaving the mark I now have. It was a scene straight out of a horror movie.


    Her name, well, it was obviously ''Remi Akaia''.


    The person I am diligently trying to avoid, she was now officially number one on my list of people to avoid.


    "Ugh¡­"


    Honestly, if I had to fight her again, I would rather bite my tongue and die.


    I continued to complain in a voice so low that no one else could hear, fearing that my muttering might reach someone else''s ears, as I tried to cool my head.


    I couldn''t even speak properly.


    Hngg, this is too much.


    It might sound strange, but sparring with a princess wielding a wooden sword was far more terrifying than fighting criminals who had actually killed people with real swords. But please try to understand.


    If you had seen it with your own eyes, you would have said the same thing.


    If I were to tell this story to the people who had witnessed that spar. All 100 out of the 100 present, they would all nod their heads vigorously in agreement.


    They would say, of course, that''s not even a fair comparison, and try to comfort me.


    ¡ªTap, tap.


    "Uwaaaa¡­ My whole body is sore."


    Was it because I had been sitting on the stairs where people often passed by?


    My pants, which I had just plopped down on, were covered in dust and dirt.


    I stared at it for a few seconds, then brushed off the dirt and prepared to leave.


    Well, it''s all over now.


    The spar, the class, my daily routine¡ªeverything.


    Everything, is over.


    "...Remi, Akaia."


    I muttered her name, with a hint of pity and sympathy.


    To be honest, I didn''t dislike her.


    ¡­Granted, her strange hostility and the way she looked at me as if I were a suspicious person were a bit annoying, but honestly, there was no reason for me to personally dislike her.


    She hadn''t done anything to harm me directly¡ª


    And she hadn''t done anything wrong to Alice.


    In the story I heard through Saelli, she was just an innocent victim who had lost her beloved younger sister.


    Rather, I wanted to be friends with her.


    That is, except for her older sister, of course.


    The reason I didn''t tell her about Alice was because of the existence of her older sister, ''Anna Akaia''.


    If it weren''t for her, Alice would have¡ª


    "¡ªHaaaaam." (Yawn)


    I rolled my shoulders, loosening up my stiff muscles, I then picked up the wooden sword that was leaning against the wall and casually slinging it over my shoulder.


    Turn the corner, and go straight.


    The now familiar path back to my dorm.


    I walked slowly, enjoying the scenery, as if I were taking a stroll, surrounded by the sweet scent of flowers.


    It had only been a few days, but this unusual (?) daily life had become completely ordinary.


    I felt a pang of nostalgia for the overwhelming commotion that I thought I would never get used to, a wry smile forming on my face, but my legs steadily carried me towards my destination.


    To the place where I shouldn''t be.


    To the place where I shouldn''t exist.


    Until I heard that voice so familiar to me.


    "¡ªSis Sia!!"


    ".....Ali....ce?"


    Thud.


    My legs, wouldn''t move, as if stuck in a swamp.


    My footsteps, once stopped, wouldn''t continue.


    I couldn''t even turn around, frozen in place.


    Alice, why are you here?


    That question was the only thing on my lips.


    **


    ****

 53.Chapter 5: A Timeline Summary for Those Who Couldnt Accept the Sudden Time Warp.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    * * *


    **


    So, shall we quickly take a look back at everyone''s past?


    Don''t want to see it? Look anyway.


    1. (2 Years Ago) ¡ª The Relocation Chapter.


    Remi, six months before going to the academy, embarked on a journey to find the last traces of Aris.


    At this time, Saelli had deliciously eaten up everything alone to the point of not even leaving any ¡®food¡¯ behind for Aris''s (Alice''s) so she can ¡®hand¡¯ call the waiter, and decided to move far away, worried that their hidden shelter might be discovered by the princess and her entourage.


    To Syria Village, within the empire''s territory, far from the kingdom.


    2. Encounter.


    Two years before the main story, unidentified individuals infiltrated Syria Village!


    But they were the main characters.


    There, Alice met Sia.


    Their bond grew stronger during the six months that followed, and Sia''s heart, deeply wounded by hardships and rejection, gradually began to heal...


    Winter came, snow fell, and an unprecedented cold snap caused the tin to crumble.


    The wound that was slowly healing, started to reopen.


    Wide open.


    3. 1 Year and 6 Months Ago (Omitted part).


    Saelli didn''t like the idea of bringing someone else into their home, but knowing that her own sins were far heavier and irreparable, she didn''t object strongly to Alice''s decision to bring Sia back.


    She didn''t like it.


    Really, she didn''t like it at all.


    ''What is this, a parasite or something?'' ¡ª A quote from an anonymous person who saw ''someone'' asking for food (Anonymized to protect their privacy). (TL Note: It¡¯s Saelli. She is talking about Sia.)


    Anyway, Sia''s heart, which had been shattered and reduced to dust by Alice''s head pats and affection, started to heal, and she was horrified to realize that she had indeed degenerated into a parasite as Elli, just like Elli had said.


    But she still ate well.


    Very, very well.


    The incident that dealt the final blow to her heart came from Alice''s legendary statement, ''Sis Sia, I''ll earn money and take care of you, so you don''t have to work!''


    She began to question if she¡¯s someone who deserves to be alive.


    She wondered if she should just stick her head in water and die.


    ¡ªCreak.


    ''Ah, Sis!! Nooooooooo!!!!''


    Sia, who had been contemplating her worth in life while hanging a rope from a beam, finally surrendered at the sight of Alice clinging to her, crying and begging her to stop. Sia thought she couldn''t go on like this, she had to do something.


    She decided to become a mercenary or an adventurer like in the novels she occasionally read.


    ¡­Though the mercenaries here were quite different from what she had imagined. sea??h th§× nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    They had cards that, when registered, would be plugged in to a digital system, allowing those who used them to use it at any guild in the world or prove their identity. What kind of cheat is that.


    If such technology existed, it wouldn''t be the Middle Ages.


    If they had that kind of technology, would people be fighting with swords?


    They''d be playing Overwatch in PC bangs. (TL Note: PC Bangs is a word used for Korean internet cafe.)


    Ryuu ga waga teki wo kurau! (TL Note: Phrase from Hanzo, Overwatch.)


    Well, anyway.


    Instead, there were mercenary guilds that held influence over each region, taking on requests, subjugating bandits, and participating in wars between lords on their behalf.


    Think of it like a PMC, you''ll understand better. (TL Note: PMC = Private Military Company. Contracts with armed combat or security services for financial gain.)


    For the record, she also learned swordsmanship from Alice (for six months).


    She cried, lamenting her pathetic self, learning swordsmanship from a child after confidently declaring her ambition to become a mercenary.


    Well, it''s none of my business.


    I don''t know if she even has any pride or self-respect left to lose.


    "That''s too much!!"


    4. 1 Year Ago.


    After six months of learning basic swordsmanship, Sia decided to join a mercenary guild.


    And at her remarkable growth, Alice wiped away her tears with a handkerchief, and Elli, who had the face of a mother that was very pleased to have gotten rid of the freeloader who only ate their food.


    They wished her well on her journey.


    But the path to becoming a mercenary was long and arduous. Naturally, it wasn''t something she could easily achieve.


    But luckily, the guild master of a rising mercenary guild saw Sia and immediately hired her.


    The reason? They said she had talent, or something.


    And so she began her one-year internship as a mercenary.


    And then she thought.


    ''Ah, did they see my talent for dishwashing!?''


    ¡ªClatter, clatter.


    ''Hey, hey, back in my day, I used to, huh!? Swing swords and stuff, uh?''


    ''Hey Han, stop talking and come wash the dishes.''


    ''Ah, shit!''


    Clatter, clatter.


    In fact, they did give her proper combat training.


    5. The Present. The mercenary guild selects personnel for an academy exchange program.


    Considering her age, personality, and character, the guild members decided that Sia was the most suitable candidate and decided to send her.


    In reality, it''s just them dumping the task.


    ''.........''


    ''Raise your hand if you think it''s you.''


    ''.....Ah...Aah....!''


    The truth was, it was a small act of kindness from those who knew that Sia had always romanticized the academy.


    Well, will the day ever come when Sia realizes that?


    At this time, Remi was in the academy... if we had to specify a grade, 2nd year.


    Sia also entered the academy as a second-year transfer student.


    Dun Dun DUUUUN! (TL Note: Dramatic sound effects)


    ***


    I omitted some parts because I thought people might get really pissed off, so.


    I skipped appropriately.


    You guys wanted that too, right?


    No need to answer, mm-hmm.


    If you want, I''ll write it.


    Honestly, looking at it from a distance, I think Sia is the true protagonist of this novel.


    There''s a heroine (who''s like a walking anti-tank mine that chases people while walking, only exploding herself when she gets close to someone) caught in a tragic situation.


    And a tsundere sub-heroine who dislikes herself (and also sometimes eats people. Also tears them apart. Scary.) but also dislikes her


    A coming-of-age story (a heroine''s crisis ¡ª though almost all of it is self-inflicted, but that''s just a feeling).


    And in the end, she overcomes everything, and even achieves success.


    Wow, clap, clap, clap.


    If there were a novel starting from Sia''s point of view, it would be really interesting.


    It would be quite a dark novel, though.


    Isn''t it fascinating, to look at it from this perspective?


    Just by changing the protagonist, everyone can watch with a smile.


    Even though only the viewer''s perspective changed, a smile comes naturally instead of tears.


    It''s strange, isn''t it, how only the feeling of ''this would be fun'' dominates the brain?


    But, that''s just how the world is, even if it seems strange.

 Chapter 54: Hide and Seek.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 54 ¡µ Chapter 54. Hide and Seek.


    * * *


    **


    "¡ªSis Sia!!"


    ".........."


    At the sound of my name, I reflexively turned around.


    Even without seeing her, the moment the first syllable of her voice calling my name reached my ears, I could immediately tell who the voice belonged to.


    But even so, I couldn''t help but turn around.


    Because there was no way the person I knew could be here.


    This wasn''t something I could simply dismiss with an ''Oh, I see.''


    Why. How.


    The two questions, relentlessly gnawed at me, their tails intertwined.


    "Heehee, it''s Sis¡ª"


    "....Ali....ce..?"


    Standing there, where I turned to look, was a child wearing a jet-black robe with an eye-catching pattern of red flowers.


    My ominous premonitions were, strangely enough, never wrong.


    As expected, I was able to accept reality with that short phrase.


    A small child.


    The outfit, clearly reflecting someone''s taste, seemed way too big for the child wearing it.


    The hood, which was large enough to cover her entire face with room to spare, to the point where I had to lower my gaze to barely see her cute little mouth.


    The sleeves, despite being bunched up several times, still dangled down and threatened to slip down her arms.


    And the long hem of the robe, dragging on the ground, making me worry if it would trip her.


    She looked like a child who had secretly borrowed an adult''s clothes, but the outfit somehow suited her, looking incredibly adorable, perhaps thanks to the child''s inherent charm.


    But even as I watched her, my heart was filled more with bewilderment than joy.


    "Uu... Uuu, uncomfortable."


    Swish, swish.


    Was it because the hood was obstructing her vision, preventing her from seeing properly?


    The child seemed to be trying to walk straight towards me, but she was stumbling and swaying, unable to find her footing.


    It was a sight that made me smile involuntarily.


    She tried to lift the hood to see better, but her arms, reaching out from beneath the loose sleeves, couldn''t easily achieve their goal. Instead, and every time she tried, the bunched-up sleeves would come undone and slide down, leaving her in a predicament.


    To describe it in two words, flustered and clumsy.


    But there were people with nothing better to do, watching this clumsy sight with full attention.


    And unfortunately, I was one of them, staring at her with my mind blank.


    ¡­ Unfortunately, indeed.


    ¡ªThud!


    "Ah, ow¡ª!?"


    """¡­!!!!"""


    Such a precarious sight.


    It evoked contradictory emotions within me, a desire to see her bump into something, yet hoping she wouldn''t. That sight had instantly captured the attention of the people around.


    Everyone held their breath, their eyes following the child''s every step.


    In the end, the miracle created by the twisted and childish desires of the adults, was finally realized.


    When she bumped her head against a nearby streetlight with a small, dull thud, I could clearly see everyone around me lowering their heads, trying to suppress their laughter.


    The unification of humankind.


    If such a concept, existing only in our imagination, were to materialize, perhaps it would be this very moment.


    But I cautiously question whether this peace achieved through such means truly holds any meaning.


    "......"


    However, I couldn''t even tell if the expression I was making was a smile or not.


    ¡­Alice, why are you here¡­


    "......"


    "Heehee¡­.!"


    Alice, who was standing crookedly and seemingly annoyed as she glared at the streetlight she had bumped into, let out a high pitch laugh. I wondered if she was angry as I took in the sight.


    The words I couldn''t utter, turned into a long sigh and dissipated into the air.


    **


    Alice.


    That child had appeared here, at the academy, in the heart of the Akard Empire.


    For some, it might be a shocking event.


    For others, it might be something that was bound to happen.


    But, it wasn''t a big deal in itself.


    The Museion, a royal academic research institution.


    The academy, a place where they brought in ''promising'' individuals from other kingdoms and educated them.


    This place, serving both purposes, might seem closed off and heavily guarded, as if you had to spend each day under strict surveillance, but the truth was quite the opposite.


    It was actually much more open than one might expect, and even ordinary citizens living in the imperial capital could freely enter.


    As if they were going for a walk in a park.


    ¡­Well, maybe ''a walk in the park'' is an exaggeration.


    Anyway, the reason for this was related to the purpose of the academy''s existence.


    Of course, the academy also served the purpose of instilling pro-imperial ideologies and policies in the students, and as a holding ground for hostages to prevent other kingdoms from recklessly attacking the empire.


    But those were just byproducts.


    The true essence of the academy was to elevate the national prestige through ''publicity''.


    The vassal kingdoms, voluntarily offered their important personnel to the empire.


    By showing that they were not oppressed, but treated with respect for their human rights, the empire could create a positive image not only for the surrounding kingdoms but also for its own people.


    That''s why the Museion was also known as the ? ''the display case''.


    It was a museum to widely showcase the loyalty of the kingdoms under the rule of the empire and to show that the Empire is strong and thriving.


    Therefore, both outsiders and insiders could freely enter and exit the academy.


    What if a suspicious individual with an unknown identity entered and caused a disturbance?


    One might ask that, but in the first place, such a person wouldn''t even be able to enter the imperial capital, let alone leave a single footprint nearby.


    And the possibility of causing trouble while evading the eyes of the escorts of the foreign nobles attending the academy, the patrol units that regularly made rounds, and the staff stationed everywhere with polite smiles, was practically zero.


    So, the fact that Alice came here wasn''t a problem.


    Yes.


    The fact that she ''came here'', wasn¡¯t. sea??h th§× Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    "¡ªWho is that child?"


    "Is she... lost?"


    "......!!"


    Little by little, more and more people passing by stopped and stared at Alice, who was standing there, lost in her own world, their eyes filled with curiosity.


    A noble''s maid.


    A noble''s bodyguard.


    Or, nobles from other kingdoms.


    People whose words could travel a thousand miles from just their mouth.


    They had become one, looking at Alice.


    Perhaps they were captivated by her adorable actions, or they were wondering about her guardian who was nowhere to be seen, or maybe they were mesmerized by the child''s beauty, which was revealed for a fleeting moment when her hood shifted.


    The reasons varied, but the more important fact was that ? many people had started to notice Alice.


    Yes.


    Alice''s ''survival'', might be revealed¡ª


    ¡ªTo ¡®her¡¯.


    ".......Damn it."


    The crowd gathered.


    The murmurs, grew louder and louder.


    The onlookers, who had been just a few at first, swelled to over a dozen in just a few minutes.


    And unfortunately, this was the path I had to take to get back to my dorm, so as time passed, the crowd wouldn''t disperse, instead, it would become even more difficult to even get through them.


    What should I do?


    What should I do right now?


    It felt like I had just turned to a new page on my exam paper, only to find it completely blank, with only a few minutes left on the clock.


    I forcefully wracked my unresponsive brain, desperately trying to come up with the best possible solution in the current situation.


    And the only answer that came out was¡ª


    ¡ªRight, let''s kidnap her.


    Once I had made up my mind, I ran straight towards Alice without hesitation.


    ".....Really, this is driving me crazy."


    "Sis Sia~"


    Unaware of the situation, Alice''s steps were slow as she saw me and started walking towards me.


    It was only natural, of course Alice wouldn''t know what the problem was.


    She had just come here to see her sister who was attending the academy, that''s all.


    So the problem was me.


    Our selfish decision, made without even considering the child''s opinion or thoughts.


    Like a sweltering night that seems to be burning, and a sudden downpour from the sky.


    Amidst that, Saelli and I had decided on the direction of our lives.


    To forget the sad past and live happily together, the three of us.


    To hide and distance Alice from her miserable past and connections.


    Even though I knew it was wrong, it was the best we could do.


    Saelli was nowhere to be seen.


    The fact that she, who was always by Alice''s side, was nowhere in sight meant that she had entrusted me with Alice.


    For her to leave Alice like this without a word, it meant that something serious had happened.


    But if that''s the case, I wish she had at least talked to me.


    Of course, Saelli wouldn''t have known that ''Remi Akaia'' was at the academy I was attending.


    If she had known, she, who was always cautious, wouldn''t have trusted me and left Alice here alone.


    Tap.


    "¡ªWaaah!?"


    "...We''ll talk later!!"


    The child''s weight, as light as a feather, rested in my arms.


    I ran straight towards Alice, and without slowing down, I scooped her up and carried her over the shoulder opposite to the one carrying my sword.


    Whether she was quite surprised by my sudden action, or unable to grasp the current situation, Alice let out a strange yelp, but I didn''t have the time to indulge her playful antics right now.


    I''m really sorry.


    Because I had to get out of this place, right now.


    "Heeheehee¡ª!! This is fun~!!"


    "Heave-ho-ho-ho¡ª!!"


    Like a student who had just snatched a cat from the street and was running home, I grabbed the cat named Alice and quickly ran back to my dorm room.


    The peace I had found in my daily life.


    It began to skew again.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 55: Submerged.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 55 ¡µ Chapter 55. Submerged.


    * * *


    **


    The hand, desperately reaching out, grasped at nothing but empty air.


    A young girl, frantically calling out her sister''s name.


    She couldn''t grab her sister''s hand that¡¯s reaching out to her for help, nor could she even wipe away the blood that was trickling from her lips.


    Because she was too weak.


    Truly, completely useless.


    If only she had run faster.


    If only she had known where Aris was, without wandering around lost.


    If only she had noticed the ominous tension between them sooner.


    If only she had noticed the changes in Aris, who had been spending sleepless nights worrying, and offered her genuine care and attention.


    How many times had I uttered that meaningless phrase, "What if"?


    But no matter how many thousands, how many tens of thousands of times I cried out, all that returned was a hollow echo.


    The past was like a broken bamboo, irreparable, irreversible.


    That hypothetical world, filled with eternal happiness instead of all this misfortune, was too overwhelming for me, someone who wasn''t even allowed to dream of such a sweet moment.


    Because I had to live in the present.


    Persistently, even if it meant crawling.


    Because I had to live in a reality where Aris didn''t exist.


    [".....Ah.... Aaah....."]


    "¡ªTrash."


    My past self, pathetically sitting on the ground, unable to do anything but shed tears.


    Behind the young girl, whose mere sight filled me with boiling rage, I slowly raised my sword.


    The chillingly sharp blade of the sword.


    In its unwavering reflection, I saw myself, my eyes fixed on the cowering girl.


    I will never go back.


    To my weak, past self.


    Because I became stronger, for her.


    So.


    So¡ª


    "¡ªDie."


    ["....Ah..... Aaah...."]


    Resolutely.


    Perhaps, with anger.


    I swung down my sword.


    **


    Now, it''s time to wake up from this dream.


    **


    It felt like a lump, a solid mass that wouldn¡¯t go away, was lodged in my chest.


    Whether I was walking down the street, sitting in the classroom listening to a lecture, having a meal with Tessa, or even at that very moment as I lay in bed, preparing for the next day.


    The lump was growing, slowly but surely, gnawing away at my nerves.


    As if it were a child, asserting its presence.


    As if protesting, begging me not to forget it.


    That lump, showing no signs of disappearing, was constantly pounding against my body and mind, like water dripping from the eaves.


    Drip, drip.


    Ripples form.


    And it finally succeeded in creating a small hole in my heart.


    The image that came to mind was that of a black-haired woman, the one who had driven me to this state.


    Yeah.


    I admit it.


    Truly, well done.


    You.


    "...Princess, are you alright these days?"


    "I''m fine, nothing to worry about."


    "...But still..."


    Bloodshot eyes, and dark circles under them reaching down to my cheeks.


    Even I thought it was bad, looking at myself in the mirror.


    My condition was worsening day by day instead of improving, and finally, Tessa''s nagging couldn''t be held back.


    She voiced her concerns, but not in a harsh way, just as a small complaint.


    Of course, I wasn''t unaware of how she felt. But the turmoil boiling inside me, the emotions I couldn''t control, made me respond curtly to even Tessa''s small concern.


    To the point where even I was surprised.


    "...But Princess, you''ve been acting so unlike yourself lately¡ª"


    "¡ªTessa."


    What the fuck do you even mean by ¡®unlike myself¡¯?


    The words filled with irritation, as if shooting them, were about to burst from my lips.


    I had to clench my teeth so hard that I tasted blood before I could stop those icy words from coming out.


    But just like you can''t retrieve an arrow once it''s been shot, the call, filled with resentment and anger, couldn''t be taken back into my mouth, and Tessa''s expression, which had been worriedly asking about my well-being, froze just like that.


    Tessa''s concern for worrying about my condition, which I would have been grateful for under normal circumstances.


    But for some reason, I felt a surge of anger towards it.


    She was the only one who had stayed by my side.


    The only one who had accepted and understood everything about me.


    ¡ªSwish.


    "...Huu..."


    I stopped walking and covered my face with both hands, taking a small deep breath.


    My breathing became labored as the flow of air was obstructed, it felt like my throat was being choked.


    It¡¯s suffocating.


    I''m so dizzy.


    Help me, help me¡ª


    Sensing my unusual behavior, Tessa also stopped alongside me, feeling something was amiss.


    Me, standing still, with my head bowed low, and Tessa, standing beside me, frozen in place.


    For a moment, silence swam between us.


    ".....Haah....Haah...."


    "....Princess Remi."


    Two women, standing still in the middle of a busy street where numerous onlookers were passing by.


    I could feel some people looking this way, staring at this unusual scene, but I was only desperately trying to compose myself.


    No.


    This is wrong, no matter how you look at it.


    The emotions that I had buried deep beneath a solid rock, had somehow melted into a molten magma, ready to erupt.


    Drip, drip.


    Through the small hole that had been created by the constant dripping.


    I tried to shove those hot, surging emotions back down, under a newly created mask.


    ¡ªCrack!


    My flesh and blood transformed into paper and wood.


    ¡ªSnap, crack, click!


    Taking the form of past memories, recreating the previous form.


    ¡ªCrack, crackcrackcrack, crackcrackcrackcrack!!!


    What, am I supposed to do?


    What, did I, do wrong?


    You took everything from me, and yet, why? Why, why? I''m asking. Right now, what am I supposed to do? I''m asking. I asked. I asked, I said.


    Huh? Why are you looking at me like that, everyone? Why? Why? Who are you all? There¡¯s no one, no one, no one is here. Aris, where are you? What am I supposed to do? Forget? Who, how, am I supposed to forget? Tell me. Tell me. Tell me, I said. How, how, how¡ª? Am I, me? Me? Me, you say? Who am I? Make, make, make, make, again, newly, make, make, make, make, make¡ª


    ¡ªHave I made it?


    "¡ªThank you."


    I removed my hands.


    "I''m, okay."


    I smiled, brightly.


    "Really."


    Really, I''m really okay.


    Because I am completely different from my pathetically weak past self.


    "Nothing happened, so shall we go?"


    I moved my lips to form a small smile, trying to reassure Tessa, who was looking at me.


    With the same bright smile I always gave to everyone.


    The same smile which everyone had praised was as warm as a bonfire.


    Basking in the warm sunlight that came down from the sky and enveloped us all, I saw Tessa''s reflection, hidden within the shadow cast by my elongated silhouette, and said it again.


    I''m okay, I said.


    "...Pr-Princess¡­"


    "¡­Hm? What is it?"


    "¡­It¡¯s nothing."


    But for some reason, Tessa was staring at me with an even more shocked expression than before.


    As if she had seen something she shouldn''t have.


    As if she couldn''t believe what she was seeing.


    Her body trembling, Tessa was avoiding my gaze.


    For a reason I couldn''t understand.


    **


    "¡ªAris. Is it fun?"


    "Hmm?"


    "¡­Planting flowers, I mean."


    A long time ago, I once asked Aris, who was tending the flower garden with a happy face.


    Why she bothered to plant flowers herself.


    I asked her why she didn''t just order someone else to pick flowers that had already bloomed.


    In truth, I had come all this way here to see Aris, but those cruel words spilled out of a small jealousy at her not even sparing me a glance.


    You might say it''s embarrassing, but when I was younger, gaining Aris''s attention was far more important than a fleeting embarrassment.


    That''s how much her attention meant to me, it was a matter of life and death.


    Of course, my question, filled with childish jealousy, was directed at mere plants that were scattered around us, not even a person, it was just my childish jealousy.


    "Uuu~!"


    Thud.


    She could have just ignored my strange question.


    But Aris, ever so diligently, put down the trowel she was holding and stretched, looking at me.


    She wiped the beads of sweat that trickled down her forehead with her dirt-covered hand, a sight that, looking back now, didn''t suit a child who wasn''t even ten years old. I don''t know why, but I remember staring at Aris''s appearance so intently back then.


    If there was a reason, it was probably because her smile, directed at me, was so beautiful.


    "Hmm.... That''s because¡ª ¡ª"


    "??,?????"


    I can''t remember what Aris said back then, it''s strange.


    If I had to guess, maybe it was because personally tending to them was more rewarding, or maybe because flowers picked by someone else didn''t hold any meaning, something like that.


    But oddly enough, it didn''t seem like such a common reason.


    It was something more, strange.


    Something more, profound.


    Something more, incomprehensible.


    The only thing I know for sure, is that even now, as an adult, I still don''t understand why Aris was so passionate about growing flowers back then.


    Still.


    **


    * * * sea??h th§× Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

 Chapter 56: Macro-Void.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 56 ¡µ Chapter 56. Macro-Void.


    * * *


    **


    Is this emptiness, or is it futility?


    The sensation of everything I believed in crumbling from the ground up, piece by piece.


    Human ignorance, not even knowing what one knows and doesn''t know.


    My eyes saw nothing, my ears heard nothing, and my hands grasped at nothing.


    Am I walking, or am I standing still? Or am I lying somewhere, waiting for death?


    Even that simple deduction wouldn''t come to me.


    ¡ªThrob!


    "Han, Sia."


    I muttered the name of the mercenary who was still tormenting me.


    I clutched my throbbing head and recalled the image of that infuriating woman who had driven me to this state.


    Black hair and black eyes.


    A person who stubbornly insisted on putting her last name before her first name, an unusual arrangement.


    (TL Note: That¡¯s how names in Korea work, since Han is a reincarnator and all)


    The girl who always had a goofy grin plastered on her face, as if she was happy about something.


    As the image of that woman, whose unique style was, to put it nicely, and to put it bluntly, suspiciously unsettling, flashed through my mind, the headache that had been subsiding resurfaced.


    My vision distorted and narrowed, growing darker, and the now-familiar pain of needles piercing my brain returned once again.


    By now, it was more of an annoyance than pain.


    The deep furrow between my eyebrows, was a testament to my feelings.


    "I''m sorry for her, but right now¡­ ?I hate her."


    I hadn''t liked her from the moment I first laid eyes on her.


    It''s not that I was the type of person who judged others based solely on their appearance or first impression.


    Some people in certain kingdoms might believe that "people with any black body parts on their body are the fingertips of a witch, and they can perform acts of witchcraft," but that''s their business, not mine.


    Rather, her unique appearance was refreshing, with its own charm.


    And her title as a mercenary, belonging to one of the few crown-sanctioned and managed mercenary group in the empire, was quite intriguing.


    (TL Note: Decided to use crown instead of government cause¡­ Middle Ages¡­)


    Her timid and delicate appearance, which shattered my preconceived notion of mercenaries as being rough and tough, was rather endearing.


    To put it simply, her first impression was above average, quite good.


    Rather than those unrealistically perfect individuals, she was moderately likable.


    Those interesting backgrounds would have been a plus, not a minus.


    So at that time, I thought that if there was nothing particularly problematic, I might be able to build a good relationship with her in the future.


    Yes.


    I thought that way.


    That is, until I saw her gently caressing the bracelet on her wrist, as if it were something precious.


    ¡ªCrack.


    "Really¡­ how unsightly¡­ Hu¡­ huhu¡­ Hahaha..!"


    My emotions were gradually intensifying.


    Where were they directed?


    As the waves of those unpleasant emotions crashed over me, a chilling sound began to emanate from the railing I was gripping.


    If I had been gripping someone''s arm instead of a railing, something very unpleasant would have happened.


    The railing shattered with a scream, and countless wooden splinters piercing my palms, but the pain actually somewhat helped alleviate the headache that had been tormenting me, and I barely managed to stay on my feet.


    Slowly, with faltering steps, I started walking, leaving a trail of bright red blood.


    An aimless stroll, with no destination in mind, just walking wherever my feet took me.


    I wasn''t worried about getting lost and becoming a missing person within the vast grounds of the academy.


    I thought that too, in its own way, might not be so bad either.


    **


    Well, fine.


    At first, I thought it was just a coincidence.


    A really nasty coincidence, specially prepared by the world to torment me.


    The fact that the stems were woven in the same direction, the silver flowers that my little sister in particular loved so much, the teal ribbon tied at the end, which resembled Aris''s eyes, everything.


    All of it, I told myself, was just a coincidence.


    How many people in the world could possibly make bracelets?


    Roughly estimating, it would easily exceed several thousands.


    Just because it looked similar, of course it was enough to make my heart sink, but my mind wasn''t weak enough to lose my composure and rush towards her.


    But what truly tormented me than anything was something else.


    Han Sia, HER, stroking the bracelet made of artificial flowers that wouldn''t wither, her clear eyes devoid of any darkness, picturing someone who wasn''t there.


    And me, carrying around the remnants of a withered flower crown in my pocket, its original form long gone and decayed beyond recognition, recalling someone I could no longer see, bringing her back from the past, remembering her.


    So similar, yet so different.


    A gap that had formed somewhere, a gap so wide it could never be bridged, I couldn''t even fathom where it had started.


    Seeing Han Sia clutching the bracelet whenever she felt down or overwhelmed, finding strength and comfort in it, sends me into an indescribable anger and self-loathing.


    Why are you making that happy expression.


    When I''m crying like this.


    What are you looking at in that empty void.


    When I have nothing left.


    For no reason, I felt a surge of anger.


    She was clearly just an ordinary classmate who had nothing to do with me, her actions shouldn''t have impacted me at all.


    Whether she lived well somewhere or not, it wouldn''t affect my life even as much as a single sheep''s hair.


    But strangely enough, whenever she looked at her wrist with a happy face, my mood plummeted.


    I started to feel irritable and complain about trivial matters that I would have ignored before, and my heart felt empty, like a bottomless pit that couldn''t be filled.


    Even when I tried to listen to the soothing music Tessa recommended while reading a book.


    Even when I tried to exhaust myself at the training ground, pushing my body to its limits so I wouldn''t have the time to think about anything else.


    Whenever I saw her image flickering before my eyes, my heart would be consumed by darkness.


    ''Uh... in our Wallenstein mercenary group, we mainly use polearms and spears for our infantry¡­¡¯


    ¡®¡­ Doesn¡¯t Miss Han use a sword?¡¯


    ¡®Ah, that¡­ I have a rather unique situation¡­ um, I was granted permission to use a sword personally¡­um¡­yes¡­that''s right.¡¯


    Then one day.


    It was during a time when the teacher, as usual, was drawing the attention of the students in the classroom by having Han Sia share her vivid experiences.


    I was sitting at my desk, listening to the lecture.


    ''........''


    Thud, the pen in my hand slipped and fell to the floor.


    The accumulated fatigue had long since passed its limit, and my body, which should have collapsed long ago, was in no condition to properly attend class.


    My eyes trembled, my hand wouldn''t obey me, my body was falling apart.


    My body was so broken that I couldn''t even hear what Han Sia was saying right next to me.


    Even the writing on the blackboard, which I could usually read without any problems, was now just a blurry mess.


    I was in such a bad shape that I would have excused myself and left the classroom even at the risk of being rude under normal circumstances.


    But for some reason, I didn''t raise my hand nor did I leave the classroom. Instead, my eyes were following her, the girl who was standing next to me, looking at the students and teaching the lesson.


    I saw flower petals swaying gently in the wind.


    My unusually sensitive nose picked up a faint fragrance in the air.


    As if mesmerized, I just stared blankly at the bracelet on her wrist.


    The love contained within.


    The affection embedded within.


    The moment I saw it, I clearly said, in a voice so low that no one else could hear.


    ¡ªI want that bracelet.


    Anger rising for no reason.


    Anguish that suddenly appeared and devoured my body.


    Irrational emotions directed at someone who had nothing to do with me.


    The name of that emotion is envy.


    "¡ªNo."


    I can''t, accept it.


    I shouldn''t, accept it.


    **


    "....Ah."


    My footsteps finally stopped.


    It wasn''t because there was an obstacle blocking my path that I stopped.


    It wasn''t because I had run out of energy to walk, nor was it because I was overcome by fear of being lost.


    There was nothing but a wide open door before me, inviting me to enter, I was still breathing, and if I were the kind of pathetic person to be anxious about this, I would have already ended my own life long ago.


    After all, I had been wandering, having lost everything, for the past two years already.


    Nevertheless, the reason I couldn''t move forward and just stood here like this, was because the world was too cruel.


    Really, It was too cruel.


    Whoosh¡ª S~ea??h the n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    "....Ha¡­Haha¡­"


    As the late summer rain poured down heavily, signaling the end of summer, the humid wind now disappeared.


    A cool breeze was now blowing, but the wind coming from in front of me still carried the warmth of summer.


    A glass house, its interior visible through the transparent walls.


    Inside, green life flourished.


    I had arrived at a place I had never set foot in, even though it had been almost two years since I came to the Museion.


    A place I had lost my reason to visit after Aris disappeared.


    The end of my long journey was a beautiful greenhouse where flowers bloomed vibrantly.


    ¡ªThud.


    I heard the sound of something hitting the ground.


    At the same time, the scenery around me spun, and the plants that had clearly been growing on the ground were now blocking my view.


    The plants couldn''t have grown so suddenly, so my vision must have lowered.


    Ah.


    I see.


    I''ve collapsed.


    "....This is really, the worst."


    And my vision faded to black.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 57: Blinded by Jealousy.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 57 ¡µ Chapter 57. Blinded by Jealousy.


    * * *


    **


    Ah, I ended up meeting her after all.


    I didn''t want to see her.


    I really, really didn''t want to see her at all.


    The reason why I chose death, out of all the countless options.


    "To stand by their side and yearn for happiness is something I''m not allowed to do."


    **


    A person''s life is contained within their hands.


    What they do for a living, their bad habits, their level of hygiene. You can learn everything about a person by looking at their hands.


    That¡¯s why whenever I look at someone, I always look at the person''s hands first.


    Isn''t it ironic that the most honest means of expression in the world exists in humans, who live in a constant struggle between truth and lies?


    The more actions they take, the more prominent their tendons and bones become.


    Blood and nerves twist and turn, finding their way back to their proper places, flowing once again.


    Skin and flesh are torn and rubbed, gradually becoming tougher.


    Like the rings of a tree growing with each passing year, life accumulates in various forms within our hands.


    Like a work of art, imbued with sacrifice and hardship.


    So I could say it with confidence, without a shred of hesitation.


    I dare swear on all the lives I''ve lived, and the eternal life I will live.


    You have truly lived a life of effort.


    "...Ugh...Mmm..."


    "...It''s warm."


    It felt like my body was melting.


    My older sister''s palm, which I hadn''t felt in a long time, was so warm and rough.


    It wasn''t soft and delicate like the hands we used to hold when we were young, but a rough hand with countless calluses on her fingers and palm, as if she had been gripping something tightly.


    The rough texture of those calluses, large and uneven, wasn''t exactly pleasant, but thinking about the fruits of her labor contained within, how could I not find it beautiful?


    I diligently massaged my sister''s hand, which were more beautiful than anything else, using my own small, delicate hand, my only one.


    Even though this fleeting act couldn''t possibly be a repayment for her actions.


    But I hoped that it would bring a small comfort to this tragic princess who was sleeping, surrounded by flowers.


    I desperately prayed that the path ahead for my sister, who was taking a brief rest on my lap, would be bright and clear.


    And that in that future, I, a mere burden, wouldn''t exist.


    I prayed earnestly.


    "....Ugh¡­Ugh¡­"


    "You must be very tired, Sis."


    I sat with my legs neatly together, my back against a tree.


    Leaning against the rough, hard bark of a tree wasn''t an easy task for an ordinary child, but my body and, I, myself, was numb to most sensations and could do it with ease.


    Of course, if I got a bad bruise on my back, it would be obvious to Sis Sia or Big Sis Elli, who were sensitive to my injuries, and I would be scolded for sure.


    My older sister, Remi, whose head was resting on my thighs, was groaning softly, her face contorted. I wonder what kind of dream she¡¯s having.


    Occasionally, her hands and feet would tremble, and she would break out in a cold sweat.


    Remi, who had looked unwell from the moment I found her, was lying at the entrance of the greenhouse, gasping for breath.


    I never imagined that Remi would be here, and the moment I saw her familiar face, I thought I was hallucinating.


    My sister really has a talent for startling people.


    Of course, after realizing that Remi was in a bad state, I worked hard to drag her inside using my one hand and created this position so that she could rest comfortably.


    It seemed like she had simply fainted from exhaustion and stress, so she would probably wake up in a few minutes.


    Well, until then, I''ll just enjoy this pleasant time.


    A playful moment between sisters, reunited after a long time.


    ¡ªPoke, poke.


    "H~e~l~l~o~?, is anyone there~?"


    "......Ugh¡­ Uhhhhh...."


    I lightly poked her cheek with my finger and then pulled back, and watched as it jiggled back into place like a mochi.


    The feeling of my family''s skin, something I hadn''t touched in a long time, was so sweet and addicting it felt like it would melt me.


    I tickled her, I pulled on it, I poked it.


    My sister''s face, so inviting for pranks, awakened the little devil inside me.


    Her face contorted even more, and the interval between her groans shortened.


    Remi was now making an interesting expression, much better than the pained expression she had been making before when she was sweating profusely.


    "........"


    "........"


    As I watched her, a sense of nostalgia washing over me.


    Behind those closed eyelids, were beautiful eyes that I had described as sparkling like stars.


    When we used to sleep in the same bed, she would often cling to me and ask me to rub her ears, acting spoiled. I wonder if she still does that.


    Was it here where she tripped and fell down the stairs, bumping her teeth against a rock, and lost a tooth?


    "Really¡ª"


    I never thought I would see her again.


    Sia''s behavior towards me was particularly strange and suspicious.


    Of course, she tried to hide it, but her speech would speed up for no reason, and the way the end of her words would curl up whenever she called my name were habits she couldn''t easily break.


    The moment Sia saw me, she panicked as if she was being chased by something and grabbed me, who was glaring at the streetlight, to her dorm room.


    And then she came up with all sorts of bizarre excuses to keep me from leaving, saying that it was dangerous because there was construction going on, and that there were scary monsters lurking everywhere trying to kidnap me.


    Honestly, I wondered if I should react to such obvious lies, but I played along.


    Of course, I snuck out while Sia was in class.


    I wondered what the reason for such uncharacteristic behavior was, and it turned out Remi was here.


    Fate is truly a mysterious thing.


    Nom¡ª! Nom¡ª!


    (TL Note: Alice is sucking Remi¡¯s cheek. That¡¯s what the onomatopoeia told me. Probably looks like this.)


    "Heehee~?"


    "Ah¡­."


    Of course, from Sia''s perspective, it was completely understandable why she wouldn''t want me and Remi to meet.


    They couldn''t even begin to fathom what kind of chemical reaction would occur between us.


    They couldn''t possibly know, or rather, they knew it deeper than anyone else, but Sia and Ellie were so conservative and worried that they would hide my past from me, the person involved, to such an extent.


    They probably didn''t want to leave even the smallest problem behind.


    They even went so far as to deceive me, an act that required tremendous resolve from Sia, there was nothing more to be said.


    But still... If there was one thing I wished Sia would change.


    It''s about time for her to overcome her excessive paranoia, her tendency to see everyone as a potential threat.


    ¡ªSqueeze.


    "You''re such a sleepyhead, Sis."


    "............" S§×arch* The novel(F~)ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    "You really are a sleepyhead."


    Remi''s hands were trembling pathetically.


    My only hand was now trapped in her tight grip, showing no sign of breaking free.


    My delicate skin had already reddened and starting to bleed, and my fingertips had turned white with a hint of purple.


    I wondered if my hand would really get crushed like this, but seeing Remi clutching onto it desperately, as if she had returned to her childhood, I stopped resisting and just smiled gently while looking at her face.


    What is she so afraid of.


    What is she so scared of.


    What meaning was contained in the tears that flowed from her eyes.


    As if my hand was the only lifeline that could save her, Remi held onto it tightly, refusing to let go.


    She must be old enough to be called an adult by now, and yet, here she was acting like a child. It was cute, so I couldn''t help but let out a small laugh at the sight.


    The sun was slowly setting.


    And the flowers that had bloomed fully were now slowly going to sleep, having completed their duty.


    The fleeting yet infinite moment where our hearts were connected through our tightly clasped hands was also coming to an end.


    Because it would soon be time for Sia to come looking for me.


    Sleep.


    The gods, while sending down hardships upon humans, also sent down sleep, and in the face of sleep, all good and evil lose their meaning, becoming mere objects of oblivion.


    But in the end, sleep is still just sleep.


    Sleep exists only so we could greet the sun that must rise tomorrow.


    "¡ªSo, it''s time to wake up."


    A princess who¡¯s cursed and fallen into a deep sleep, a princess trapped in a nightmare.


    There''s only one way to wake her up.


    Of course, I wasn''t the handsome prince from the fairy tales, and unfortunately, my only tool, my hand, was immobilized, so there was no other choice.


    To think that even after becoming an adult, she still couldn''t wake up without her little sister''s help.


    Really, she was a handful in many ways, this older sister.


    So Big Sis, it''s time to¡ª


    "¡ªWake up?"


    I slowly lowered my head.


    The flowers closed their petals, hiding their faces.


    The sun, watching over everything from the sky, blushed as if embarrassed and disappeared beyond the towering mountains.


    No one would know what happened there.


    Except for one person.


    "Ah, you''re awake, Sis!"


    ".......A...ri,s?"


    **


    "Ah.....A...Alice¡ª!!?"


    The moment of our encounter, is imminent.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 58: Twilight.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 58 ¡µ Chapter 58. Twilight.


    * * *


    **


    Twilight had begun.


    The sun had already set, and the sky was painted a deep blue.


    Even though there was no source of light, a mysterious, faint glow still lingered in the sky, softly illuminating the world.


    ''The hour between dog and wolf (L''heure entre chien et loup)'', a name given to this time, when the deepening twilight made it difficult to distinguish whether a silhouette approaching in the distance was a loyal dog or a dangerous wolf coming to harm you.


    And under that deepening gloom, I was running down the street, my breathing ragged.


    Gasping breaths and the sound of wind whistling past my ears.


    My lungs felt like they were about to burst, my legs screaming in protest. It made me think that if there was ever a time to use the phrase ''giving it your all,'' it should be right now.


    ¡ªFlutter!


    "Whoa!? What, what''s that!?"


    "I''m so sorryyyyyy!! I''ll apologize properly later¡ª!!!"


    As I ran, cutting through the wind, unexpected screams erupted around me


    Perhaps someone had spilled water because of the sudden gust of wind I created as I ran past, the voices, growing fainter as I distanced myself, were clearly bewildered.


    Normally, I would have stopped immediately upon hearing those voices, fidgeting and desperately hoping they would accept my apology, but right now, I just left the scene, muttering a pathetic apology.


    I''ll make it up to you twice as much next time! Ah, no¡­ Maybe three times?


    Since I didn''t know the person, even though I said I would make it up to them, it was unlikely that I would actually find them and compensate them.


    But what else could I do?


    It''s no use crying over spilled water. I could only let it go, thinking I would just get scolded and that would be the end of it.


    "I-I never thought the class would end so late...!"


    Speak of the devil, to think that the teacher, who had never been late to class before, would be late on such a hectic day like this, who knew.


    And yet, she insisted on finishing the class, so I was the only one suffering, my insides burning with anxiety as I sat there.


    Click, clack.


    As I ran, the beautiful night scenery of the academy gradually came into view, illuminated by the streetlights that had started to turn on.


    The exotic and unique atmosphere was captivating enough to draw my attention, but unfortunately, I didn''t have a moment to spare to appreciate it.


    The only thing on my mind was Alice, who must be waiting for me in that glass greenhouse.


    What if, she''s worried because I''m not there?


    What if, she came out to look for me because I wasn''t there even after all this time?


    ¡­What if, she''s crying her eyes out on the street!?


    The more I thought about it, the paler my face became.


    Of course, even though she was innocent and delicate, Alice was old enough to take care of herself in this world.


    Rather, her wisdom and exceptional abilities that occasionally showed through, which were unusual for her age, sometimes made me wonder if I should be the one worrying for my future, not her.


    But that''s just how it is with the human heart.


    The worry for a child who¡¯s left unattended is endless.


    "Uuuu¡­ I''m coming to save you, Alice!!"


    My anxieties grew like cotton candy, and in my mind, Alice had already been kidnapped by a demon king with black hair and red eyes, and was being forced to live a life of comfort and exploitation.


    ''Now, say ah~''


    ''Ah¡ª''


    ''Yes, good. How about you ditch that parasite over there and come play somewhere else with me?''


    ''Yes! Big Sis Elli! I''d love to¡ª!''


    The image of me collapsed on the ground reaching out towards Alice, and the demon king looking down at me with eyes full of disdain as if I were a worm.


    I knew it was just a delusion, but the absurdly realistic imagery tore my heart to shreds.


    ¡­


    "¡ªUwaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! Don''t take that hand, Alice!!"


    "What, what the!? My, my master''s thesis!?"


    Wait for me, Alice, I''m coming!


    Rip, tear¡ª! The product of someone''s dreams, passion, and dedication, was torn and defiled.


    The pitiful sight of a graduate student screaming as he frantically tried to gather the scattered remains from the floor with both hands, was a work of art in itself¡ªbut unfortunately the papers, already soaked, seemed beyond saving.


    Without even the time to help, I silently offered my condolences, sending five ''action beams'' for the repose of his deceased''s soul, and shedding a small tear of mourning.


    (TL Note: Action beam is a meme from an old korean show. It¡¯s used the same way as RIP, Action beam is the abbreviation for saying rest in peace.)


    Hoping that it would bring a small comfort to the poor graduate student, I continued on without stopping, stepping on his noble sacrifice without a moment''s pause.


    And so, I climbed a small hill, passed the familiar school route I had seen every morning, and arrived at the back of the dormitory.


    My destination.


    "....Haa¡­ haa¡­ I''m¡­ here¡­"


    There, as if welcoming me, stood the glass greenhouse, its doors wide open.


    The sight of the greenhouse brightly lit as if someone was inside brought me a small sense of relief.


    I slowly caught my breath, and then I walked in to greet Alice, who must be waiting for me inside.


    Alice, I''m back.


    I''m so sorry for making you wait.


    My heart pounded, and my breathing became more labored.


    I couldn''t even think of what to say, so I just made a firm resolution to hug Alice tightly. I slowly entered the greenhouse, and¡ª


    I saw them.


    "Alice!! Were you wait¡­ing¡­?"


    Under the bright, sun-like lights, two people were facing each other.


    Two people who should never meet.


    Two people who should never encounter each other.


    Remi Akaia, and Alice.


    The two of them were there.


    The thought that something had gone terribly wrong swam through my mind.


    But that was only for a moment, because something else caught my eye.


    Drip, drip.


    Remi Akaia, with a strangely distorted expression, was firmly gripping Alice''s hand, blood dripping from it onto her clothes¡ª


    "¡ªLet go of that filthy hand."


    Feeling those icy cold words I had never uttered before escape from my lips.


    I drew my sword.


    **


    I wanted Alice to never experience sadness again.


    That was all I wanted.


    Alice, who always prioritized the feelings of others over her own desires.


    If I had pleaded with her earnestly, Alice, even if she felt stifled, would have obediently waited for me to return, staying quietly in my room without venturing outside.


    Well, of course. She might have puffed out her cheeks a little and protested with cute eyes, but still.


    A boring daily life, waiting for her older sister who had gone to class, alone in an empty room with no one to talk to, watching the clock tick by.


    We were the ones who had committed the sin.


    Why should an innocent child have to live a prisoner''s life in place of an adult?


    Unable to endure that unbearable contradiction, I couldn''t bring myself to force such a life of confinement upon Alice.


    Even if it was done with good intentions, to protect her safety. S§×ar?h the N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    That was something I could never ever accept.


    Yes.


    Because if I did that, Alice would be sad.


    Fortunately, there was a place in the academy that met all the requirements.


    A place visible from the window of my dorm room, a place frequently patrolled by security and where the lights were kept on until late at night, making it a safe place where crimes rarely occurred.


    And most importantly, a place that suited Alice''s taste perfectly.


    It was the glass greenhouse.


    It was often used as a venue for noble¡¯s tea party, so it was always included in the security patrol route, and perhaps because of that, I had never heard of any incidents happening in that area.


    Also, the greenhouse, filled with various kinds of flowers native to the empire, was a place that perfectly matched Alice''s interests.


    But the biggest advantage of the greenhouse was that it was a place that ''Remi Akaia'' avoided at all costs.


    For some unknown reason, Remi Akaia was well-known for not only not participating in any events held in the greenhouse, but also for not even passing near it.


    I remember there were even rumors that she might have a pollen allergy, but who even cares.


    It was the perfect way to keep her, the biggest obstacle, away from Alice.


    After learning about this open secret, I took Alice to the greenhouse with a bright smile.


    Along with the promise that she could stay there freely until I came to pick her up.


    It should have been a happy daily routine of waking up a sleepy Alice who was nodding off after playing excitedly and taking her back to the dormitory after school.


    Yes.


    It should have been like that.


    Then why, why did it turn out like this?


    "¡ªI said, let go of her hand."


    "Sis Sia!"


    "....Si....s....? Wh-who?"


    Remi Akaia, her head turning towards me in a strange, jerky motion, like a broken doll.


    Alice''s hand and arm that she was holding onto, I don¡¯t know what she did to it, but the skin was torn, bleeding, and swollen.


    Her growls emanating from deep within her throat, like a beast''s, and her bloodshot eyes all showed that she wasn¡¯t in her right mind.


    It was a sight that should have instilled fear.


    But even so, I walked towards her, one step at a time.


    Because.


    She wasn''t the only one who was angry.


    Alice''s transparent tears were streaming down her cheeks.


    "Hey. Let go of my little sister."


    ".........Huh?"


    I wondered what had happened since she hadn''t been around since this morning. But to think she was here, in this place.


    Was it a lie when she said she wasn''t feeling well and was going to rest in her dorm room.


    Really, when will this damn, persistent connection, a curse clinging to Alice, finally let her free.


    Filled with anger, I grabbed Remi Akaia''s hand forcefully.


    ¡ªGrab.


    "Come here, Alice."


    "Sis Sia¡­"


    "It''s okay. Come on."


    I untied Remi Akaia''s grip on Alice''s hand, gently wiped Alice''s tear-stained face, which had been crying no doubt from the pain, and hid her behind my back.


    Perhaps angered by the fact that I had taken Alice away from her, Remi Akaia glared at me with eyes that looked as if it could devour a person whole.


    Undeterred, I met her gaze, tightening my grip on my sword.


    The bomb that was bound to explode someday.


    The fuse had been lit.


    And she and I became enemies.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 59: The Definition (?) of Justice (??).

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 59 ¡µ Chapter 59. The Definition(?) of Justice(??).


    * * *


    **


    "...Wh-who are you?"


    What was the problem?


    Was I that wrong?


    I thought I could finally see your face in reality, not just in my dreams.


    I was so relieved, feeling the warmth from your arm telling me that this wasn''t a dream.


    "..Aris? My, name?"


    My blood ran cold. My heart stopped.


    The fruit borne after a long struggle was sweet, but


    It contained a deadly poison that stopped my heart.


    "But, my name is Alice."


    **


    Alice''s hands were trembling, soaked in the blood flowing from her wound.


    The clear handprints and the blue, swollen bruises.


    I couldn''t even begin to imagine what kind of violence could cause such marks.


    Seeing her pitiful state, I carefully took Alice''s arm, as if handling a delicate flower petal, afraid that I might accidentally touch her wounds, and pulled her towards me.


    And to the child who was being pulled along listlessly, I forced myself to stay calm and spoke to her.


    "...S-Sis Sia¡­"


    "Are you okay, Alice? Is there anywhere else that hurts besides your arm and hand?"


    "¡­Nn¡­ No."


    Alice was crying.


    Alice, who always smiled, who always tried not to worry others, was crying like a child.


    That simple fact made me, who knew better than anyone that this shouldn''t be happening, point a real sword at a living person.


    They say that a sword reflects the heart of the person wielding it.


    And true to those words, there was not a single tremor in the sword I raised.


    "I said move."


    "And I said I can''t." Sear?h the ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    *After what you''ve done to her.*


    *Knowing what you might do, how could I step aside.*


    I muttered those sharp words. In my heart I had already forgotten about her status, her rank, or the punishment and repercussions I might face because of this incident, they all had long flown away from my mind.


    I simply stood there, blocking her path with my entire body, to defy her words, to prevent Alice''s image from being reflected in those amber eyes.


    The child''s frail body was completely hidden behind me.


    Her eyes, which had been solely focused on Alice, now finally shifted their target, Remi Akaia''s menacing gaze was now fixated on me.


    "....Ha, haha¡­ Is that so...?"


    "........"


    Roll. Her body didn''t move, and yet, I heard a sound like something rolling.


    And then, when I met her empty, strangely wide-open eyes, I realized what the sound was.


    The way she stared at me, moving only her eyes without turning her head, made her look like a doll clumsily imitating a human.


    Her voice, dry and cracked like a parched rice paddy.


    Her pronunciation, slurred and barely understandable.


    The person standing before me was no longer the brilliant and promising Remi Akaia that everyone once knew.


    There was only a beast, a wild animal that had lost its mind, unable to think rationally.


    Her eyes, which had once been praised for holding stars within them, were now no different from those of a beast, and her soft hair was a tangled mess.


    Feeling a small wave of disgust and pity at her appearance, I once gain tightened the grip on my sword.


    "I see¡­"


    A chill ran down my spine.


    If a demon crawled out from hell and existed in the real world, would its voice sound like this?


    Her voice, echoing through the vast, glass-enclosed space, was truly chilling.


    ¡ªSRRRK.


    "So be it....."


    "........."


    The creaking doll drew its sword.


    That ominous weapon drawn from its scabbard seemed sharp enough to kill a person with a single swing.


    And that weapon was now aimed at me, at my chest.


    Where my heart, pounding so hard I could feel it through my clothes, was located.


    Overwhelmed by the tension, I swallowed the saliva that had gathered in my mouth, making sure no one could hear the sound.


    What was about to happen was completely different from the spars and fights I had experienced so far.


    A real battle, where a single mistake would bring me pain, where a moment of carelessness could cost me my life.


    That''s the weight that was contained within the sword I held.


    "¡ªBecause I have a mountain of questions to ask you too."


    If this were the past, I would have already raised my hands in surrender and begged for my life before it even began.


    She was superior to me in both skill and experience.


    I wasn¡¯t strong enough to bravely face the pain and fear that was coming.


    But, I held my sword.


    "That''s good to hear."


    I could feel it.


    The presence of Alice behind me.


    The worry for me contained in the small hand that was weakly gripping my clothes.


    With just that, just that alone.


    I.


    Even someone like me.


    Didn''t feel like I would lose at all.


    "¡ªBecause I was thinking the same thing."


    In the greenhouse, without a breath of wind, there was no need for a signal to start the fight.


    She and I both charged at each other with all our might, as if we had made a silent agreement.


    And soon, that small space was filled with the cold yet heated sound of clashing swords.


    **


    Even if it was an act done for the happiness of others, not for my own gain, the essence of my actions was still a lie.


    Whether it was a white lie or a malicious lie, the fact that I had deceived her remained unchanged.


    That act of betraying her trust was a betrayal, and no justification could be given for it.


    Likewise, the fact that I had deceived her wouldn''t disappear.


    Therefore, her anger towards me, was justified.


    And therefore, my anger towards her, was also justified.


    "You... that swordsmanship¡­!! As I thought, as I thought, as I thought!!! Youuuuuuu¡ª!!!!"


    "Ugh¡­ Ughk¡­ What kind of strength¡­!"


    Clang, clang, clang!


    Ruthless downward swings with her entire weight and gravity behind each blow.


    The impact of those consecutive attacks, as if a hammer was pounding against my sword, was overwhelming.


    My tingling palms screamed for me to let go of the sword, and the liquid wetting the handle, whether it was sweat or blood, I couldn''t tell, but I bit my lip hard, refusing to give in.


    If I let go, I die.


    If I die here, I''ll never see Alice again.


    With that single thought imprinted into my mind, I focused on Remi Akaia''s movements and managed to escape from that hellish barrage of attacks by slipping to the side, taking advantage of a small opening.


    Just for a moment, though.


    Unfortunately, the situation was still one-sided.


    Her hostility and attention was completely focused on me, whether I should be happy or not, her gaze was solely following my movements.


    In other words, she didn''t even give me a chance to catch my breath as she launched her sword attacks towards me, who barely managed to regain my stance after quickly getting up with a roll.


    I was merely prolonging my life by devoting myself solely to defense.


    No, I should be grateful that I could even defend myself.


    The weight behind her sword was different.


    The speed of her swings was different.


    And above all, the mindset, the heart behind her sword, was different.


    I, couldn''t kill her.


    She, wanted to kill me.


    It was completely different from the spar we had in the arena before, where we had agreed not to aim for each other''s vital points.


    The gap created by that difference, was something I couldn''t bridge with just sheer willpower.


    Of course, I did manage to land a few hits by taking advantage of small openings.


    But instead of being discouraged by my counterattacks, she just kept coming at me, like a Yaksha (??), a demon, as if she didn''t even care about her wounds, and it was I instead who was overwhelmed by fear.


    (TL Note: Yaksha is a mythological spirit being from Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism.)


    With the sound of metal vibrating and the hilt slippery with sweat and blood, finally slipped from my grasp.


    The sword approached with a menacing aura, not stopping its momentum as it aimed for my neck.


    That clear difference in our abilities was inevitable.


    "...UaH?!"


    "¡ªHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"


    A desperate situation.


    To think that I, who had confidently challenged her, would be facing death so pathetically in less than ten minutes after starting.


    Forgetting even the fact that Alice was watching from afar, I couldn''t help but let out a pathetic scream.


    I don''t want to die a miserable death like this.


    That I wanted to remain as a cool older sister to Alice if possible.


    But even though I pleaded with those wishful thoughts, the trajectory of the sword flying towards my neck didn''t change.


    However, in the end, the sword didn''t cut through my neck.


    "¡ªSis, no!!"


    ".....!!!"


    Because a childish scream blocked its path.


    **


    "Si...Sis Sia...Don''t kill her¡­"


    "..........."


    "Please....Please¡­"


    Alice was standing there.


    Standing there with her arms spread wide, her bleeding arm and hand where the wound hadn''t fully healed and the other that looked unnatural because of the missing part, her small body desperately trying to protect me.


    With tears streaming down her cheeks.


    She clung to her small legs.


    And slowly, she knelt.


    I wonder how it must have felt to Remi Akaia. The sight of her younger sister calling a complete stranger "sister" and begging for their life, when her real sister was right there in front of her.


    And then¡ª


    Clang!


    ".......Ah...Aaaah..."


    The answer was her dropping her sword powerlessly and her eyes looking up at the empty ceiling.


    I couldn''t fathom what kind of emotion she was feeling as she lowered her head as if she would cry any moment.


    And I didn''t want to know, either.


    "....Why...Why are you fighting with Sis Sia¡­"


    "............."


    "Don''t, fight¡­ Okay¡­?"


    The fight ended in a ridiculously anticlimactic way.


    There was no victor, no one to savor their victory with a bright smile, as it usually went.


    There were only losers bowing their heads, shedding tears mixed with sorrow and resentment.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 60: The Poet.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 60 ¡µ Chapter 60. The Poet.


    * * *


    **


    Can someone who has never broken a bone truly comprehend the pain of a person screaming in agony from a severed limb?


    Can someone who has never been burned by a gas stove truly understand the despair and lament contained within the dying screams and soft cries of a person burning alive in a raging inferno?


    It''s like someone who has lived their whole life in a dark cave claiming to know the lush green fields and the vastness of the sky, or a lonely person who has never experienced love claiming to understand the pain of heartbreak.


    Well.


    Even if they can sympathize with others.


    Even if they can feel compassion for others.


    Never, I swear.


    Could they truly empathize with them.


    Especially if that person is a stranger, someone completely unrelated to them.


    No matter how emotionally intelligent humans are, capable of feeling empathy and compassion.


    No matter how intellectually advanced humans are, capable of uncovering the truths of the world with their innate cognitive abilities.


    It''s impossible for someone who has never experienced something to fully understand the heart and feelings of someone who has gone through it.


    To claim that they can understand.


    Is to be blind to the vast difference in the magnitude of the pain experienced.


    The depth of the despair felt.


    We know all too well how vastly different they are.


    ¡ªCrack¡­


    "...Give her back¡­"


    ".........."


    "¡­My little sister¡­ Please¡­give her back¡­No, please give her back to me¡­ I beg you¡­"


    That''s why I would never be able to understand.


    The heart of this person, who is barely supporting their shaking legs by grabbing my collar with a weak hand, devoid of any strength, as if the menacing aura from before had vanished.


    The feelings of Remi Akaia, who is pleading with me, tears streaming down her face, begging me to say something, even though she must know that I¡¯m just as helpless.


    I, who haven¡¯t experienced what she has gone through, will never be able to understand her.


    Because the emotions I''m feeling right now are as light as a feather compared to hers.


    And if the day comes when I truly understand her.


    I will probably choose ignorance.


    Thud.


    "Why¡­!"


    Thwack, thwack. My chest hurts.


    "Why¡­"


    Her fists, flailing wildly, strike my chest.


    "Why¡­ why¡­! Why does Aris¡­ have to... go through this...."


    ".............."


    "I finally¡­ I finally thought we could meet again¡­! I thought¡­ we could be happy again¡­"


    The duel that was simply just a thinly veiled attempt at murder, which seemed like it would only end with one of us dead, was abruptly interrupted by a child.


    She, upon seeing Alice, had dropped her sword that was about to kill me, and collapsed to her knees on the dirt floor, her expression like that of a child abandoned by her parents.


    Seeing her weak and vulnerable, a sight that reminded me of my past self, I couldn''t bring myself to unleash the rest of the anger that had been festering in my heart.


    This was futile and meaningless.


    A pointless fight, where everything was in vain.


    ".........Hmm....."


    The child, relieved to see that our fight had come to a standstill, fainted as if falling asleep.


    I rushed toward her, worried that she might have been hurt as she fell to the ground, and my outstretched hand had overlapped with another''s.


    When Remi Akaia''s hand and mine touched, we looked at each other once, and, without a word, checked Alice''s condition and laid her down gently.


    "........"


    "........"


    A single exchange.


    A brief interaction, conveyed through our fingertips, without a single word exchanged.


    No one could have predicted that that brief moment, where our fingers touched, would bring an abrupt end to the fight that had been interrupted.


    But it was a promise made over Alice.


    A promise that held a weight far greater than any written oath on paper.


    Alice is sleeping soundly.


    We, who surrounded Alice, confessed everything to each other, everything about what had happened to the child, and the sins we had committed.


    What I had done to Alice.


    What she had done to Aris.


    And lastly, what had happened to the child.


    We confessed everything.


    It was the moment when the harm (??) named truth was revealed.


    All hope, all possibilities, vanished entirely, and only pure malice filled the glass-enclosed greenhouse.


    "....Aris....Aris¡­!"


    "............."


    Yes.


    What awaited the older sister, who had been desperately searching and waiting for her lost little sister, was the cruel truth that her sister no longer remembered her.


    Ironically, the child named Alice had forgotten everything, except for the name of the one person who had driven her to that state, ''Anna''.


    Her childhood memories.


    The faces of the parents who gave birth to her. S~ea??h the NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Even her own name.


    Everything about the child had vanished, lost to the depths of her memory.


    "...Sob... Sniff¡­ A-Aris¡­ answer me, please?"


    "............"


    ".......Please¡­"


    She covered her mouth with both hands, desperately muttering Alice''s real name, but Alice, already asleep and couldn''t respond.


    The sight of her, crying miserably beside the peacefully sleeping child, was like someone lamenting beside a lifeless corpse.


    Feelings of pity for someone that truly came from the heart were of no help at this moment.


    Even emotions arising purely from the heart, called sympathy and compassion for someone, would seem like nothing but a dirty hypocrisy to her.


    So all I could do was stand there, my head bowed low, like a doctor who had to inform a family of their patient''s death.


    I lowered my body and bowed my head.


    That was all.


    "Why¡­ why did you have to be so cruel to Aris¡­"


    Her question, asking why Alice had to go through this.


    I, too, had thought about that unanswerable questions dozens of times, and instead of seeking an answer, I looked up at the night sky where darkness had settled.


    I wonder.


    Why, indeed.


    Really, why.


    A door designed never to open.


    A window through which the outside scenery cannot be seen.


    An oxymoron that threw all logic to the dogs.


    I, too, harboring curiosity about the irrationality of this world with its impossible question, simply lifted my head and looked up at the sky.


    No answer came down.


    **


    A momentary delusion, or a momentary mistake.


    Leaving behind the greenhouse where misfortune born from a misunderstanding had occurred, Remi Akaia and I, having cleared up some misunderstandings through an honest conversation, walked forward, matching our steps despite the awkwardness between us.


    Carefully, cautiously, like two people running a three-legged race at a school sports festival, afraid of tripping over each other''s feet.


    We headed towards the dormitory where I was staying.


    "........"


    "........"


    "....Mmm..."


    In our arms was Alice, sleeping peacefully, lying horizontally across our four outstretched arms.


    I held her legs.


    She held her head and chest.


    A pathetic power struggle ensued, each of us trying to claim a larger portion of Alice''s body.


    The fight over who had the right to hold Alice''s upper body, a fight over ownership, started back at the greenhouse and continued even as we walked along a deserted path. But let''s just say that thanks to the kind consideration of a certain mercenary, the princess was able to fully enjoy the feeling of holding her little sister for the first time in a long time.


    Blub blub. (TL Note: Their lips are basically moving like ¡®O¡¯)


    ''You suck at rock-paper-scissors.''


    ''Ah, shut up¡ª ¡ª''


    I lost on purpose, but you don''t appreciate it.


    Whatever. You were the one getting all red-faced and angry earlier.


    ¡­Want to play again?


    No, not doing it. You''re terrible at it.


    ¡ªBicker, bicker.


    ".......!!"


    ".......!!"


    Let''s skip over that brief pathetic fight.


    "....Hehe¡­"


    "......Mmmm¡­"


    She was looking at Alice''s sleeping face, giggling, as if she couldn''t get enough of it.


    It would have been a truly beautiful sight, full of love and a hint of sadness, if it weren''t for the traces of sorrow in her eyes.


    But the endless possibilities contained within that sight were shining brightly, like a streetlight illuminating the night streets.


    Remi Akaia, as if sharing her warmth, pressed her cheek against Alice''s and rubbed it gently, then buried her face in the child''s slender neck and slowly inhaled.


    With her eyes.


    With her skin.


    With her nose.


    With her ears.


    She was reassuring herself once again that this sweet moment where her sister was alive wasn''t a dream.


    And the hand she slipped between her armpits was slowly reaching for Alice''s¡ª


    ¡ªSlap!


    ''Get your hand off her.''


    ''.......''


    ''I said take it off.''


    ''¡­Hmph.''


    Where did the sorrowful person from before go? It was a scene that made me wonder if she was bipolar.


    If it weren''t for her tear-filled eyes, I wouldn''t have believed that she was the same Remi Akaia who had been crying out in despair until her voice gave out just moments ago.


    Smiling, she said.


    That it was heartbreaking, that it felt like her heart was being torn apart, that the memories of their childhood together were gone.


    That she had wanted to bite her tongue and die when she heard that she, Remi, no longer existed in Aris''s memory.


    But memories, even if they crumble, can be rebuilt.


    Rather, she also hoped that Aris wouldn''t regain those horrific memories.


    Drip, tears fell.


    Even as new tears carved paths over her already thoroughly wet face, she was genuinely smiling brightly, I eventually had to admit it.


    That she was truly amazing.


    That she was truly Alice''s real sister.


    ¡ªSlap!


    ''Don''t touch my little sister''s butt.''


    ''........''


    ''I''ll kill you.''


    ''¡­Hngg.''


    Well, their mouths weren''t alike at all, though.


    Hngg.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 61: Et hoc transibit.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat S§×ar?h the NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 61 ¡µ Chapter 61. Et hoc transibit.


    * * *


    **


    Time turns and turns, and before you know it, the missing cogwheel that had fallen out finally finds its place again.


    The second hand of someone''s stopped clock begins to tick forward once more.


    Tick-tock.


    Tick-tock.


    With the small sound of something clicking into place.


    A beautiful moment when color returns to someone''s world.


    "...So, to sum up the situation."


    "Yes, yes¡ª!!"


    ["Poo¡ª!, Poo¡ª!"]


    "...How did this even happen?"


    The common room of the special dormitory I was staying at.


    This place, where people rarely came and went, was located quite a distance away from the dormitories where other students stayed, it was provided free of charge to students who had entered the academy through the special mercenary program.


    Typically, the special dormitory provided one room per person, and naturally, it boasted a smaller size compared to the rooms shared by multiple people, but considering it was a single room, it was more than just cozy, you could even feel a sense of spaciousness and openness.


    It was thanks to those features that Alice and I were able to live together, even if it was just for a short time.


    The dormitory, a perfect space to get away from unnecessary attention.


    The place where I collapsed, exhausted, after a day full of classes, from 9 AM to 5 PM, a grueling schedule that sucked my energy.


    And the place where I lay my weary body down, preparing to face the next day.


    My cozy haven, had somehow become crowded with people, to the point where there were now four women, far exceeding the capacity it could accommodate.


    If someone passing by were to catch a glance at this scene, they would think we were having a housewarming party.


    But speaking from the perspective of the person involved in this situation, I''d like to say that it''s a big misunderstanding.


    This is not a housewarming party, it¡¯s a funeral.


    And funeral or not, someone please save me first.


    Please...


    Of course, there must be those who are unaware of the reason, so allow me to introduce the guests who have graced us with their presence, one by one.


    First.


    A woman, introducing herself as ''Tessa'', holding a thick book, at least a hand span thick, raised high above her head with hands full of protruding veins.


    I wonder if the book she¡¯s holding is for reading, or for delivering a death sentence.


    We''ll find out soon enough.


    "I''ll just hit you once, lightly. Ah, really, just once."


    "¡­No, if I get hit by that, it doesn¡¯t sound like it¡¯s gonna end lightly, is it?"


    "That''s the point."


    "?"


    She seems a little angry.


    Next.


    Sitting right in front of the woman who''s clearly planning something that might end up being attempted murder or straight murder, I''m not sure which, is a woman.


    Even though it looks like the book is about to fall on her head at any moment, she doesn''t seem to realize that her life is in danger, she''s just smiling, making baby noises while holding a child in her arms, this is none other than Remi Akaia.


    To call her a princess, is a bit much, she looks a little lacking.


    The future of the Tesillia Kingdom seemed so bright that it was blinding.


    "Isn''t my little sister adorable?"


    "I have to agree with that."


    "Prin¡ªce¡ªss¡ª!!"


    She''s a bit of a strange one.


    And last but not least, the long-awaited third guest.


    Alice, with an adorable elephant trumpet in her mouth¡ª I don''t know where she got it from (probably given by Remi Akaia)¡ª the kind that makes a ''poot'' sound when you blow into it as it unrolls the plastic.


    Her adorable appearance, cradled in Remi Akaia''s arms, blowing the trumpet to her rhythm, looked truly happy.


    ["Poo¡ª! Poo¡ª!"]


    ...


    "¡­Mother-in-law, please give me Aris."


    "No, I can''t give her to you."


    Excessively, very much so, the child was always cute.


    And here.


    With me, Han Sia, watching the whole scene while rubbing the bridge of my nose with my index finger, that makes a total of four people gathered.


    Related, if you want to see it that way.


    Unrelated, if you want to see it that way.


    People who would never have crossed paths if they had lived ordinary lives.


    Now, for some reason, they were all gathered in this small room, huddled together, centered around one person.


    By the way, here¡¯s an observation from a squid, watching those people with their vastly different appearances:


    Explode, all of you.


    No, two of you can live, just one of you, explode.


    (TL Note: Squid is used as a slang for ugly people)


    "To think you disappeared from the dormitory without a word?! And when I got a call and went to look for you, you had turned the greenhouse into a complete mess?!! Because of that I?!!!"


    "Yes! Yes!"


    ["Poo¡ª!, Poo¡ª!, Poo¡ª!"]


    Ah, that''s not how you''re supposed to answer.


    A light and cheerful response, to a question asked with a dark and heavy tone.


    It seemed Tessa didn''t like that, because the veins on the back of her hand, seemed to have multiplied.


    ¡­Crack!!


    ".....Huu, huu... Calm down, I must calm down, Tessa."


    "............"


    Tessa, who barely regained her sanity after battling her inner demons.


    But unfortunately, it seemed the book couldn''t endure the intense torture.


    Intrigued by the sudden loud noise, I looked towards its source, and saw the cover of the book in Tessa''s hand, clearly made of durable leather, was being crushed, screaming in protest.


    I thought I heard a strange voice muttering from somewhere, ''Master... Please save me... I''ve been a good book...''.


    The phrase written on the cover, ''Empire Academy Patented Leather, so sturdy it can withstand a horse''s trample!'', was now distorted beyond recognition, leaving only the words ''horse'' and ''leather'' visible.


    Her round, oversized glasses and her neat yet modest attire made me wonder if Tessa was a legendary creature called a ''literary girl'' that only exists in legends, but¡­


    ¡­Hmm, really?


    That? A literary girl?


    Is crane, the crane in massacre? Then is literary girl, a girl that massacres with books?


    (TL Note: ? (Crane) in ?? (massacre) and ?? (literature) is the same. So the author is making a pun out of it. I¡¯ll give a more literal translation in the TL Afterword)


    Ah, so that''s what it was, it was a sight that made me want to say that.


    Or rather¡ª


    "¡ªMiss Han?"


    "......!?"


    Yes, I''m sorry.


    Caught by her mad pupils that briefly swept over me, I could only quietly stand up and slowly head to the corner.


    To express any complaints or dissatisfaction, Tessa, who had forcibly pulled me out of my contemplation with just two syllables, was too frightening, so I surrendered, kneeling down and pouring out lamentations.


    This is my space¡­


    This is my room¡­


    But as always, nothing changed, no matter how much I cried internally due to the injustice.


    Because the world is cruel.


    "While I was desperately begging the teachers, digging up every possible excuse and non-excuse imaginable, you were just wandering around the academy grounds¡ª!!"


    "Yes! Yes! Yes!"


    ["Poo¡ª!, Poo¡ª!, Poo¡ª!"]


    At this point, shouldn''t we be amazed that Remi Akaia could remain so composed in front of that woman?


    Tessa current appearance was one where her anger had surpassed the ceiling, going beyond simple anger, shattering the meter and going off the charts, truly exuding an atmosphere of wanting to sincerely kill someone, a perfect murderous smile that would make even a passing serial killer exclaim ''Ah, this is a bit too much,'' and run away.


    And yet, Remi Akaia was sitting there, composed, in front of a woman with such a perfect murderous smile.


    If Tessa''s rationality was a physical rope, she would be clapping and doing cartwheels above it like a tight rope performer, I could only nod my head in admiration for her incredible courage.


    She''s amazing.


    How has she even survived until now.


    Another unsolved mystery has been added to the list.


    "Kyaa¡ª!! Aris, you''re so cute!! Who do you take after, to be so adorable!!"


    ["Poo¡ª!!"]


    "Tessa¡ª!! Look at this!! One more time, Aris, just one more time!!! Where''s the camera, where''s the camera!? Ah, Tessa! Have you seen the camera?"


    ".........."


    Let me correct myself.


    It seems she just doesn''t have anything in her head.


    Or maybe she''s already been hit on the head too many times and has gone crazy?


    If not that, could it be that what happened with Alice has had an irreversible effect on Remi Akaia''s head!?


    ¡­


    Well, whatever the reason, it''s a moot point because it will soon become meaningless.


    ¡ªCraaack!


    ".......This¡­ idiot, princess¡­!!"


    "¡­.Uh¡­ A-Are you alright¡­?"


    The sound of a volcano erupting is like the sound of a large drum being struck.


    Boom, boom, like that.


    When that deep, resonant sound, which makes your heart tremble and dance along, fills the world, that¡¯s when the disaster (žÄ£¿), that will change the course of human history finally reveals itself.


    In her hand, the poor book that had already exposed all its insides was trembling uncontrollably, unable to control its own body.


    With each word uttered, filled with emotions, boom, boom, the sound echoed, I just closed my eyes and turned my head away from the impending tragedy.


    Because it''s impossible to stop a disaster with human strength.


    Whatever, let it be.


    I have nothing to do with it.


    ¡ªThud!


    "I can''t¡­ take it anymore¡ª!!!!!"


    "¡ªKyaah!?"


    ["Poot?"]


    A classic fairy tale ending.


    Good people are rewarded, and bad people are punished.


    And so, with the good person punishing the bad person.


    The curtain has just risen on a never-ending chaos.


    Ding, dong.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 62: Letter.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 62 ¡µ Chapter 62. Letter.


    * * *


    **


    This is a small letter, written by someone, for someone else.


    **


    Rustle, I unfold the letter.


    A luxurious black envelope, with only Alice''s name written on it, which was in the mailbox this morning.


    The sender¡¯s name and address were missing, but the unnecessarily formal and old-fashioned writing style immediately made any attempt at guessing the writer''s identity futile.


    I desperately wiped the cold sweat trickling down my face and prepared myself to face the letter before me, determined to find out what words were written in it that had made Alice look at me with those pitiful eyes after reading it.


    My Adam¡¯s apple bobbed up and down, it was a reflex.


    I read it, line by line, character by character, and.


    The contents were as follows.


    ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤


    I write this letter, filled with longing.


    Now that the little creatures have hidden away and the red spider lilies bloom red in their place, how are you doing?


    Are you eating properly?


    By any chance, are you feeling unwell anywhere?


    I''m so worried about that parasite, whether she''s taking good care of you, Alice.


    If there''s any resentment or injustice piled up in a corner of your heart, please write it down and send it to me, it would be much appreciated.


    I''m also heartbroken that I had to leave without even saying a proper goodbye, as misfortune came knocking without a sound, reaching right to my doorstep.


    Although she''s a woman without a single redeeming quality from head to toe, she''s the only one who understands the situation, so I had no choice but to entrust you, Alice, to her with tears in my eyes.


    I also desperately don''t want to be separated from Alice, but some unsavory individuals have been following us, it¡¯s an extension of the incident that happened in the previous village, so I had to make a difficult decision.


    After appropriately shaking off these people, I plan to quickly return to Alice''s embrace.


    It''s not a difficult task, so don''t worry too much.


    I promise to return before the first snow falls, so please be patient and wait for me.


    Alice doesn''t have to read the following written below.


    Sincerely, Saelli.


    ¡àP.S.


    To my dear parasite.


    If anything happens to Alice while I¡¯m gone, I won''t let you off easy.


    You can do that much, even as a parasite, right?


    Even though you''re a parasite, you haven''t already caused some trouble, have you?


    It''s not a matter of whether you can or can''t.


    Just do it, and shut up.


    ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤


    ¡ªThud.


    "........."


    A single beautiful flower with bright red petals, attached to a long, bare stem, fell from the envelope and landed on the floor.


    Despite its beautiful form, it felt desolate because it was missing the thin leaves(?) that should have been there to protect it or to add a small accent.


    And because I could clearly feel the murderous intent directed at me contained in that flower.


    That flower, reminiscent of death, was clearly aiming at me.


    At this moment, I was like a frog caught in a snake''s gaze, a gazelle on the Serengeti destined to become a lion''s meal.


    A chilling fear crept up my spine, and my body froze involuntarily, surrendering to the approaching death, like a helpless insect.


    And as if oblivious to my state, the people occupying my room were just giggling and cuddling with each other, smiling happily.


    This is all because of whom.


    The sense of injustice rises from my heart.


    "Tessa~ Give me back Aris~"


    "No way. I was really, really missing her too. While I was working my butt off to the bone, you two must have been having a lovey-dovey time with Princess Ari¡­ With Alice!!"


    ["Poo¡ª!!"]


    A complete reversal of the situation from just the other day.


    Alice, who had fallen into Tessa''s hands, blew the trumpet in response to her words.


    Remi Akaia, with a large bump on her head and a white bandage, slightly stained with red, wrapped around it, could only glare at Tessa, who was cradling her little sister in her arms.


    Poot, poot, the trumpet sound blowing out was the referee''s signal declaring a complete victory.


    With all justification on Tessa''s side. Remi Akaia, who had nothing to stand on except for her title as a princess of the Tesillia Kingdom, could only bite down on her handkerchief, swallowing her frustration.


    The winner is¡­ Te~ssa!


    "Ya~aay!"


    ["Poo~oo¡ª!"]


    "¡­Arissss¡ª"


    "¡­They¡¯re having fun."


    Well.


    It might seem like a pitiful sight, but it was all self-inflicted, really.


    From the moment she was reunited with Alice, Remi Akaia had been holed up in my room, spending all her time with Alice, without even telling Tessa.


    And for Tessa, it was as if the princess, who already seemed somewhat strange, had suddenly disappeared without a trace.


    Even after dawn broke, and a new day began the princess showed no sign of returning, and after spending a sleepless night worrying and searching for her, Tessa found the very person in question happily cuddling with her long-lost younger sister, completely oblivious.


    Tessa was greeted, not even by a simple "Ah, sorry," but by a request from Remi Akaia to be quiet, as she was busy showering her little sister with affection and needed to focus all her attention on her.


    How. What. Why.


    Those questions were all buried under the erupting anger.


    Anger at her disappearing without a word, 1 point.


    Anger at her causing trouble here and there, 9 points. S~ea??h the ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    And anger at her secretly playing with her younger sister without telling her, 990 points.


    Adding up to a total of 1000 justifiable anger points, that was the cause of this incident.


    As for the reason why the last one was the highest... Well.


    It seemed Tessa also harbored strong feelings towards Alice, even if not as much as Remi Akaia.


    "....Ari¡ª... Alice thinks so too, right?"


    ["....Poo?"]


    "¡­Thank you, Alice."


    Hug.


    Alice, nestled in Tessa''s arms, her back against her chest, looked bewildered at the sudden thanks.


    She tilted her head from side to side.


    But with Tessa''s body pressed tightly against hers, the child couldn''t turn her head back.


    What the person behind her meant by those words, or understand why these strangers were suddenly so kind to her, or what kind of face the woman holding her was making.


    It was all a mystery to Alice.


    The story of a younger sister, thought to be dead, who finally returned to her family''s arms, even though she had lost her memories.


    A story filled with hardships and conflicts, but ultimately ending with everyone smiling happily, a story that would make anyone cry.


    ¡¾If anything happens to Alice while I¡¯m gone, I won''t let you off easy.¡¿


    "........"


    So, it will be okay, right?


    ¡­ It will be okay, right?


    But no matter how much I tried to reassure myself.


    No matter how much I tried to find a positive aspect, to convince myself that everything would be fine.


    I couldn''t imagine Saelli, forgiving my sins with a gentle, all-encompassing smile.


    In the end, I had no choice but to accept reality.


    That I am so, so fucked


    It doesn''t seem like it''s going to be okay at all.


    "Ah, I''m screwed."


    Have you ever seen someone sparing a house centipede just because it''s considered a beneficial insect?


    The bug would be lucky if they didn''t scream and crush it with their shoe the moment they saw it wriggling around.


    Beneficial or not, in people''s eyes, it''s just a bug.


    Yes.


    No matter how tear-jerking, how touching the story might be.


    For the cruel demon queen who treats humans as beings worse than bugs, this incident would be no different from a heavy downpour washing away a colony of ants.


    ".........."


    Trembling.


    With my uncontrollably shaking hands, I carefully picked up the red flower that had fallen to the floor.


    Lycoris radiata. Or, the flower with the name ''Red Spider Lily''. As with most flowers, its meaning isn''t just one, but many, but there''s one that stands out¡ª


    ¡¾It''s not a matter of whether you can or can''t. Just do it, and shut up.¡¿


    ¡ªThe meaning of that flower, is death.


    It was Saelli''s own special language, a warning that if I did anything stupid, my head and body would part ways, permanently.


    It meant that I had a special opportunity to see my heart with my own two eyes.


    I slowly turned my head to the side.


    "If this is how it is, I''ll use my status to¡ª"


    "¡ªDo you want to be marked again?"


    "........."


    ["......Poo, poo."]


    But, I''ve already been marked, haven''t I?


    "Hngg."


    I''m probably doomed.


    I climbed onto the bed.


    Lying straight on my back, my body aligned with the edge of the bed, I grabbed the blanket and rolled myself up.


    Roll, roll, roll, my pathetic figure, rolling around like a bug, I was like a caterpillar that had become a pupa.


    I wonder what will emerge from it, a butterfly, or the same old caterpillar.


    Waaah, I''m a baby parasite.


    Sia doesn¡¯t know anything.


    Having made a kimbap with the blanket and my body, I could only let out a pathetic scream as I rolled around on the bed.


    Roll, roll.


    Roll, roll.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 63: Oh, Time, Stop. You are truly beautiful.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 63 ¡µ Chapter 63. Oh, Time, Stop. You are truly beautiful.


    * * *


    **


    A moment, so radiant, had arrived in my life.


    Their brilliance, dazzling enough to blind the eye, was no less than that of the stars burning in the universe.


    Considering the infinite possibilities and the eternal future that was yet to come, I wonder if such a moment more beautiful than this would ever grace me again.


    Knowing that it might blind me, I couldn¡¯t help but stare at them, mesmerized, like a moth drawn to a flame.


    Even though I knew, it would eventually burn me.


    They were.


    "¡ªTessa, Tessa!! How about this?"


    "....I thought you were up to something, You were really looking at the camera!?"


    Laughing and joking with a friend who¡¯s on the same page.


    "Ugh¡­ I''m tired and lazy¡­ I just want to cling to Alice and live off her¡­ Waaah."


    Or sometimes just staring at the sky, without a thought in their minds.


    They were living a life that was more grounded in reality than anything else.


    Worries about the uncertain future that were meaningless to dwell on, regrets about the past that would only torment them if they dwelled on them, these things wouldn''t hold any meaning for them.


    Because this moment, right now, was far more important to them than wasting their time on those narrow, useless thoughts.


    It didn''t mean that they were content with the present and had given up on the future, like someone here.


    It simply meant that they had realized the truth of life, that if they lived in the moment, the future they desired would naturally follow.


    Not servile, not arrogant.


    Not powerless, not hasty.


    Not trapped in the past, not adrift in the future.


    People who are truly ''living'' in reality, not merely ''existing'' like me.


    I¡¯m proud to be me¡ª


    I¡¯m proud¡ª


    Prou¡ª


    Prou,d?


    "...........Ah?"


    Even without looking in a mirror, without tracing the corners of my mouth with my fingers, I could clearly picture what expression I must be wearing.


    I quickly lowered my head, hiding my face from view, and desperately tried to compose myself, but my twisted expression wouldn''t fade.


    No.


    This can''t be happening.


    Are you really going to show them this face?


    ".........."


    But for some reason, the corners of my lips, which had drooped so low, wouldn''t curl back up.


    As if they were frozen in place.


    Life, a marathon with no finish line.


    A grand journey where the direction you head towards becomes your ideal, where every step you take is a manifestation of your will, where the footprints you leave behind are etched into history.


    On that glorious path, it''s not enough to just keep looking forward.


    Sometimes you have to look around, to appreciate the vast scenery, to take a detour onto an unfamiliar path and see a new side of the world, they, running with all their might, were victors in their own right.


    Who could dare to say that the path they chose was wrong.


    At least, not me, who wasn''t even allowed to stand at the starting line.


    Not me, who could only watch them from afar.


    I didn''t have that right¡ª


    "¡ªNo. I know that all too well."


    "Uwaaaaaah! Aris, Tessa is bullying me¡ª! Scold her!"


    "Wh-When did I ever do that!?"


    Thump, a soft impact enveloped me.


    My blood relative, with her face brimming with excitement, unable to hide the joy and anticipation despite her feigned crying, clung to me. Following her, the librarian, looking thoroughly flustered as if she hadn''t expected for me to be used as a shield, approaches.


    Normally, I would have played along, putting on a clown (Crown) act to bring laughter to those around me, but strangely, I couldn''t do anything.


    Because this moment, was truly perfect.


    ".........Hee."


    I became a clown who wasn''t even allowed to laugh freely, with only the red tint on my lips permitted in a world of monochrome.


    A clown with traces of tears lingering heavily in both eyes.


    Really.


    At this rate, I''m completely turning into a Pierrot.


    (TL Note: Pierrot is a sad clown character from Italian comedy.)


    "Why!? I''m just trying to take a picture of our pretty Aris, what''s so wrong with spending a little money!! Right, Aris?"


    "¡­Yeah¡­"


    "Oh my¡­ My head¡­"


    The best I could do was to bury my face in her embrace, accepting her body that was yearning for me.


    My skin, which normally could sense the warmth of objects, now felt nothing more than rubber when touched by anything, I couldn¡¯t feel anything.


    Not my arms, not my cheeks, not my lips, not my neck.


    All the sensitive parts of my body, nothing.


    It was as if everything was empty.


    Like a pathetic doll with all its stuffing removed.


    "........."


    Surely, the distance between them and me is no more than the thickness of a few layers of fabric.


    Surely, If I reached out, if I leaned my head against theirs, I should be able to feel their warmth right before my eyes, and yet.


    This inescapable emptiness.


    This sense of distance.


    I wondered what it is.


    I couldn''t understand the reason.


    No.


    "¡ªNo."


    "Aris? Did you say something?"


    Actually, I knew.


    Yes.


    It would be a lie to say that I didn''t know.


    That I wanted to keep watching their happy figures from afar, forever.


    That I wanted to settle for this reality and give up on the future.


    That I wanted time to stop, just like this.


    That I wanted to be happy like them, that I wanted to experience that happiness like them.


    Why, can''t I be like them.


    That was what I had thought, all along.


    That was the reason why I had always longed for death in a life that seemed to stretch on forever.


    Because jealousy had settled in my green eyes.


    I was just, falling into hell, following my fate.


    "¡ªAh."


    I want to die.


    **


    As if an invisible weight was holding me down, preventing me from moving forward, my limbs bound.


    But at the same time, it felt like a chain, hanging from the ceiling and wrapped around my neck, was forcing me to stand up, preventing me from collapsing.


    It was just an ordinary winter morning.


    "..........."


    ¡ªPtui.


    As usual, I woke up clutching my throat, which felt strange, and started my day by spitting out a mouthful of saliva mixed with dark, clotted blood.


    My throat, which still felt clogged, showed no sign of improvement, but I couldn''t waste a single moment, so I recalled the day''s schedule as the maids helped me get dressed.


    Review the documents from yesterday, write my opinions on them, greet the trade delegation that was coming for lunch, and then after that¡­ military training, I think.


    The instructor would probably be the head of staff.


    ¡ªRustle, rustle.


    "After the banquet with the Vale¡¯s Knight¡ª"


    "I know, it was Head of Staff Shusalian''s lesson."


    A schedule so packed that there wasn''t even a single gap.


    The doctor had said it was ruining my body and mind, but I didn''t care.


    Pushing my body and mind to their limits, was something I quite enjoyed.


    At least, when I was focusing on something, other thoughts wouldn''t enter my head.


    "....But actually¡ªthe lesson, has been canceled."


    But the words I heard from beside me were a sudden negation.


    Unless I had a problem with my memory, I hadn''t heard anything about a change in schedule, so logically, the military training should proceed as planned.


    Had something urgent come up for the head of staff, or had something else happened. I slowly turned my head to look at the maid who had informed me of this unexpected change.


    "...H-Hik!? Th-That is¡­!"


    "........"


    I saw her blue hair, fluttering in the air.


    If I''m not mistaken, she was a daughter of the Jabre family.


    With her overall appearance reminiscent of the sea, she flinched and curled up, letting out a small scream as soon as our eyes met, even though she was the one who had spoken to me first.


    The hairpin she had been holding in her hand, slipped from her grasp and clattered to the floor.


    A pitiful sight.


    At her trembling, uncertain appearance, the maids who had been adjusting my clothes also started looking at me nervously.


    The atmosphere crumbled in an instant and choked me.


    Really, this is suffocating.


    So suffocating.


    ".........."


    Suppressing the urge to spit out blood again, I quietly waited for her to compose herself.


    Although I couldn''t say I felt good about that gaze, as if she was seeing a ghost, this too was a burden I had to bear.


    I had no intention of blaming her.


    Nor did I want to blame her.


    "...I merely thought it was unexpected, so take your time and tell me again."


    "That...ah, I understand¡­"


    I don''t know if my words had any effect.


    But fortunately, she quickly regained her composure, her ragged breathing calming down, and started speaking again.


    Perhaps one mistake is enough.


    Seeing her completely changed demeanor, so different from her previous embarrassing behavior, I confirmed that she had the spirit to become a maid, after all.


    Of course, that didn''t mean her past mistake would disappear.


    Just like me.


    "After the banquet with the Vale¡¯s Knight in the Hall of Mirrors, His Majesty has requested your presence at his chambers, Princess Anna."


    "......For what reason."


    Something that has never happened before.


    Because my parents always prioritized my opinion above all else, the weight of this order felt heavier than anything else.


    And to change my schedule so arbitrarily like this, without even giving any notice.


    What could they possibly want to say to me that they had to cancel my schedule without a word.


    "That¡¯s¡­"


    "...I just asked, what is the reason."


    As her words began to drag on, I pressed again with a cold voice. S§×arch* The ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Although it was a foregone conclusion to postpone the military training now that the king''s order had come down, but that was a separate matter.


    I had to know why they wanted to see me so urgently.


    This unexpected change in routine.


    It was a small curiosity.


    And the answer I received was something that defied all my expectations.


    "¡ªIt seems His Majesty intends to ask you to inquire about¡­ the well-being of¡­ the Second Princess, who is currently studying abroad in the Akard Empire."


    "........."


    Yes.


    Truly, in many ways.


    This was beyond my expectations.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 64: Cutting Water with a Sword.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none Sear?h the NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 64 ¡µ Chapter 64. Cutting Water with a Sword.


    * * *


    **


    "I would like you to reconsider, please."


    "........."


    "...Please, I beg you."


    What''s broken can''t be fixed.


    That sad lesson was already deeply etched into the depths of my heart.


    On the unstable ground where scars remained thick and wavering, building a new relationship wasn¡¯t even allowed, and even if I managed to break through that impossibility and tried to build something new on top of that, it would only be a mere imitation.


    Yes.


    That horrific day, when I killed Aris.


    Remi and I, had already crossed a river of no return.


    So if the day ever came when we had to face each other again.


    It would be when the flames of hatred in Remi''s heart had completely extinguished, leaving not even a single ember behind, or.


    Or when one of us, was dead.


    But why.


    Why now.


    "¡ªI have no intention of reconsidering."


    "Father¡ª!!"


    Bang, a deafening sound as my hand slammed against the desk.


    The mountain of documents, piled high, a testament to the workload, scattered like fallen leaves from the impact.


    It was loud enough to make even the servants, who were waiting nearby, flinch.


    Only the old head servant, with his years of experience, remained unfazed, his eyebrows not even twitching.


    But despite my outburst, my father, who was sitting right in front of me, didn''t seem to mind at all and just stared at me, his eyes filled with firm resolve.


    Seeing that he had no intention of withdrawing his decision to send me to the Akard Empire, I covered my face with my clenched fist.


    Really, what is this all about?


    I tried to calm down, but my emotions wouldn''t listen.


    Even though I hadn''t been exercising, my chest heaved up and down, visible even through my clothes.


    My ragged breathing and my heart pounding like crazy showed that I had lost my composure, caught up in a sudden wave of agitation.


    It was a truly pathetic sight, a sight deserving of ridicule.


    "....Huu."


    "Anna."


    Through the gaps between my fingers covering my face, I saw my father''s kind eyes, looking at me.


    The dark clouds that had gathered over this peaceful kingdom were all my fault.


    If it weren''t for me, everyone would be living a happy life.


    Aris, would still be alive.


    And yet, in my father''s eyes, which reminded me of a lush forest, there was no anger, only love and affection for me, and because of this, I couldn''t bring myself to act any harsher towards him.


    I was always a loser, unable to do anything right.


    "¡ªIt''s been two years already."


    The first to break the silence was my father.


    His gentle tone, his demeanor that never revealed any negative emotions, his way of speaking as if talking to a child, held a captivating charm that could control the atmosphere.


    "Both myself and your mother can''t seem to stop worrying.... I was the one who suggested separating you two, but don''t you think it''s time for you to face each other again?"


    ".........."


    Two years ago.


    Remi was sent to study at the Museion in the Akard Empire, by my father''s order.


    My little sister had been furious, thinking it was all part of my plan to keep her away from politics and to use her as a pawn, but in fact, it was all my father''s idea, his attempt to help Remi.


    He told her to let go of Aris.


    To see a wider world.


    He said that those who are alive, should live.


    Some might say that everyone experiences hardships in their lives, but Remi''s pain was especially deep.


    She refused to eat or drink, and besides sleeping, the only thing she did was chase after the phantom of Aris, who was already dead.


    Resentment and hatred were deeply rooted in her soul, my sister¡¯s body crumbling before our very eyes.


    Remi''s unusual behavior worsened, and there was even a time when she came to the place where I was receiving my lessons, sword in hand.


    Aris''s wish for me to be a good queen.


    If it weren''t for those words, that plea, still lingering in my mind, I would have offered my neck to my sister right then and there.


    But as long as Aris''s words, her wish, still remained within me, I couldn''t allow myself to die.


    I could only remain silent, before Remi, who was demanding I bring Aris back to life with tears streaming down her face.


    A soul who had lived a life devoid of honor and shame.


    They say that even the depths of hell reject those who do nothing but indulge themselves, the wicked ones.


    The dead, who stand at the gates of hell, only envying other fates, letting out mournful cries.


    I was barely living each day, awaiting that end, unable to even atone for my own sins.


    "Remi should have reached a stable state by now."


    "...Yes."


    "In the first place, the agreement with the empire doesn''t apply to members of the royal family, so Remi is free to return to Tesillia whenever she wants. She must miss her home by now."


    Remi''s rebellion ended with a scolding from my father, who had heard the news and rushed to her side.


    Remi, who had dropped her sword and was shedding bitter tears.


    She had cried out to the sky, asking what she should do, how she should live, and even my father, who had come to stop the fight, had simply lowered his head, unable to answer her.


    And so.


    Unlike me, who at least had a small straw to cling to, Remi, who had nowhere to lean on, had no choice but to lock away her burning anger inside, breaking herself down in the process.


    Remi, having lost all purpose and goals in life, had become a complete wreck.


    My father, who had witnessed with his own two eyes the pitiful sight of Remi screaming her lungs out and pointing her sword at me, finally made a difficult decision after much deliberation.


    He declared that he would send Remi to the Akard Empire to study.


    It was father¡¯s attempt to help Remi start a new life in a new land where there were no traces of Aris.


    He fully understood that Remi might resent his decision, but he was willing to bear even that, if it meant that anger could keep Remi going.


    Of course, even my father didn''t foresee that anger would be directed towards me.


    "If Remi enjoys her life in the Empire and doesn''t want to return to the kingdom, tell her that''s fine. This father has no intention of standing in the way of your future."


    ".........."


    "And if you think Remi is still¡­ trapped in Aris''s death¡­ It''s okay to come back here as is. This will be the last time I send you away."


    I knew this day would come eventually.


    I wasn''t so foolish as to be oblivious to the fact that sending Remi away wasn''t a solution to mend our broken relationship, but just a temporary measure.


    It was a clumsy attempt at healing, akin to simply bandaging a cracked mirror.


    With a shattering sound.


    It was a mirror that would shatter into pieces at the slightest touch, unable to fulfill its original purpose of reflecting others.


    But even though we were walking on different paths now, the day would inevitably come when we had to face each other.


    And that day had simply arrived.


    It wasn''t that surprising.


    But even though I knew that.


    Even though I had taken deep breaths and prepared myself.


    Facing your own sins head-on was always a difficult task.


    Especially, when it involved my beloved little sister.


    "I ask of you. Anna, my daughter."


    ".........."


    What is this feeling, this emotion I''m experiencing right now.


    No, could it even be called a feeling in the first place?


    A lump of blood, rising from the depths of my chest, threatening to burst from my throat.


    The suffocating feeling that constantly tormented me, the feeling that would never disappear.


    "It''s alright even if Remi doesn''t want to come back. It''s alright even if she hasn''t yet come to terms with her emotions. Just, just¡­ I would like it if you and Remi could meet, even just once."


    "........"


    "¡ªYou''re sisters, after all."


    An earnest plea, not from a king, but from a father.


    I wonder when they appeared. Wrinkles, that I hadn''t noticed before, were stuck deeply onto his rough palms, as they held onto mine.


    They were weak hands now, aged, hands that I could easily break free from with my strength, but for some reason.


    I couldn''t bring myself to pull my hands away from his grasp.


    "..I understand."


    And in the end, I could only nod my head.


    **


    "Where to, ma''am?"


    ".......Where¡­to¡­"


    I pulled down the hood of my white robe, hiding my face.


    On a gloomy day like this, why was the sky so clear, without a single cloud?


    I wish it would just rain instead.


    The blindingly bright sky and the cool breeze blowing.


    As I watched two sisters strolling down the street, hand in hand, looking happy, I unconsciously fiddled with my sleeve.


    The thought of me and Remi... and Aris, being in their place, tormented me.


    With my head bowed low, I managed to move my heavy lips, forcing the words out.


    Yes. I have to go.


    I have to go, so.


    "I''d like to go to the Akard Empire."


    ".....It will be a long journey, ma''am."


    Long, huh.


    For a coachman who considered thirty miles a day a lot, it would definitely feel like a long journey, having to travel from here to the empire.


    But if it''s a journey so boring that it makes you yawn.


    A journey so long that you can''t see the end of it.


    I wish it would be long, literally so long that it never ends.


    "We''ll depart immediately."


    I boarded the carriage.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 65: Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 65 ¡µ Chapter 65. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.


    * * *


    **


    "¡ªAris has been acting strange lately."


    The one who started the conversation was Remi Akaia, sitting across from me, sipping her coffee with a serious expression.


    She was forcing herself to drink the dark-colored coffee with ice cubes floating in it, saying it was the latest trendy drink.


    I wonder if she even realizes how distorted her face looks.


    Unable to bear watching any longer, I added a spoonful of honey and a generous amount of milk. Only then did the wrinkles between her eyebrows finally start to disappear.


    Seeing that familiar sight, one I had witnessed countless times in my life, and even experienced myself sometimes, evoked a strange feeling within me, but the person in question didn''t seem to notice, just continued to stare at me with a disgruntled look.


    By the way, Aris acting strange, huh.


    It¡¯s true, even I had to admit that Aris''s recent behavior had been a little strange.


    Normally, Aris would look at me with sparkling eyes the moment she heard my voice, but lately, she would respond late when I spoke to her, and sometimes she wouldn''t even react at all.


    Moreover, she would spend all day in her dorm room staring blankly out the window, not even setting foot in the flower garden she loved so much.


    As if she was possessed by something.


    It was so heartbreaking to see her seemingly lost and listless.


    And it was even more concerning because Aris was the type of person who would hide her struggles and try not to worry others.


    "She''s been responding late when I talk to her! My Aris, who always used to answer with a smile!! Huh? And she spends all day in her dorm room, just staring blankly out the window. She''s not even going to the flower garden to look at the flowers she loves! This is serious, do you understand!?"


    "...Wow, that''s creepy."


    How can she be this accurate?


    I wonder if there''s some kind of mind-reading magic in somewhere in the world.


    I rubbed my arm, goosebumps rising as Remi Akaia recited everything I had felt while observing Alice for the past few days, word for word, without a single mistake.


    Hey, passing security guard over there, there''s a stalker here stalking a young child.


    The goosebumps that popped up on my arm were proof that my feelings weren''t an exaggeration.


    "....Ah, shit! Is this a time for jokes!? Aris is depressed, I tell youuu!!"


    "Eek!? Th-That¡­ That¡¯s true, buuuut¡ª!!"


    "Then, what is it!? Do you know something!?"


    Tell me, spill it, tell me everything!! S~ea??h the n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Let go, let go of me first, I can''t talk unless you let gooOooo¡ª


    Clatter, clatter, my body swayed like a piece of paper in her hand, shaking me back and forth by my collar.


    I tried to tap out, tapping on her wrist repeatedly to signal my surrender, but my desperate plea didn''t reach her as she was too caught up in her excitement.


    And so, for a few minutes, strange screams echoed through the coffee shop, or so they say.


    Caw, caw.


    **


    Every cause has an effect.


    That statement, which could also be interpreted as ¡®everything has a cause¡¯, was sometimes expressed as ''Nothing comes from nothing (ex nihilo nihil fit)''.


    So.


    Even Alice''s sudden change in behavior must have a reason, it couldn''t be happening for no reason.


    After much deliberation, my answer to the question of what was making Alice sad was¡ª


    "¡ªHomesickness?"


    "...Well, something like that."


    Nostalgia, a longing for home when in a foreign land.


    I concluded that homesickness, which was also considered a form of depression, must be the cause of Alice''s current struggles.


    In fact, Alice''s behavior, although slightly different, were very similar to what I had done before.


    The longing for a homeland you can''t return to, a home you can only picture in your mind.


    I, too, had spent countless hours staring out the window, my vision filled with nothing but foreign scenery, trying to process my emotions. So I could easily understand her behavior.


    And considering Alice''s circumstances, it was practically a confirmed diagnosis.


    "There haven''t been any other significant events, right?"


    ".....I guess so?"


    "The only things that have happened so far are you and me acting like idiots in front of Alice, right? ....Well, there was that time when you and I fought. But¡­ I don''t think that''s it."


    The fight between me and her, a bloody battle that could be considered one of the main suspects, could be a possible cause, but even that had happened a long time ago.


    Of course, Alice had panicked back then, but thanks to her kind nature, it hadn''t taken long for her to forgive Remi Akaia, who had hurt her, and to become close friends.


    And Remi Akaia, who had spent sleepless nights worrying that she would be hated after accidentally injuring Alice''s arm, had been saved by her angel-like little sister who had approached her first, saying it was okay.


    And so.


    That day''s fight had ended in a ridiculously anticlimactic way, and it was an event that had essentially been concluded in everyone''s memories.


    It might have been different if it were right after that day, but now, nearly a month later, it was unlikely that it would suddenly start bothering Alice now.


    I could guarantee it wasn''t the cause.


    The truth should always be sought in simplicity.


    And never in chaos and complexity.


    Be objective.


    Think rationally.


    There is a cause.


    But no matter how much I thought about it, Alice''s current worries, couldn''t be attributed to anything that had happened within the ''Akard Empire''.


    It meant that Alice''s depression wasn''t caused by anything that had happened ''here''.


    When we first arrived in the empire, Alice''s behavior wasn''t that different from the Alice I knew, so it couldn''t be because of something that had happened before either.


    The only thing that remained was the fact that Alice had come to ''this place''¡­ could that be it?


    If so, the thing that''s bothering Alice right now is the fact that she''s been separated from ''her'' and came all the way here¡­


    Dozens of hypotheses were formulated.


    After eliminating all impossibilities, that was the only thing that remained.


    "........You."


    ".....Hmm?"


    But even after I shared my opinion, Remi Akaia''s face didn''t brighten up.


    Rather, her face was growing with suspicion and doubt, and I realized that she wasn''t studying Alice, but me.


    Oops.


    Was I, too lost in thought?


    I made a mistake.


    "Come to think of it, you never told me in detail about how Aris has lived all this time."


    "...."


    "You always avoided going into details, just glossing over things with vague explanations, full of holes."


    That''s right.


    I had told Remi Akaia about the past that Alice and I had shared, but it was only a small part.


    At most, all I had told her was a brief overview of the unfortunate incident in Syria Village, where I met Alice, and that I had learned some basic swordsmanship from her before becoming a mercenary.


    In other words.


    The story of ''her'', who was probably working hard somewhere at this very moment, was completely omitted or skipped over in my explanation.


    The doubts and suspicions that Remi Akaia felt must¡¯ve all been because of this.


    How Alice, who had been critically injured, could have been rescued and treated after falling into a freezing river in the middle of winter.


    What the half-year gap between Alice''s disappearance and her living with me meant.


    How we escaped the desperate situation in Syria Village.


    If she was as clever as I thought, she would have immediately grasped the contradictions and inconsistencies in my story.


    Of course, she must have had some suspicions from the beginning, but until now, she had been too happy to be reunited with Alice to bother questioning me.


    And so, the forgotten bomb, had now resurfaced.


    Yes.


    That kind of thing that I couldn''t bring myself to mention.


    The reason I didn''t tell her was because I hated sharing someone else''s story without their permission, it felt like gossiping, but the bigger reason was something else.


    That the person ¡ª no, the being who saved Alice, was classified as a ''monster'' by the standards of this world.


    That it was none other than she who had bitten off Alice''s arm, and Alice considered her to be her true ''family,'' more than her biological family.


    To casually reveal that cruel truth to Remi Akaia, of all people.


    So.


    I shook my head.


    "¡­I can¡¯t tell you."


    "¡­You¡­!?"


    I couldn''t bring myself to tell a white lie.


    I couldn''t do that.


    I was sick and tired of lying to others, and I couldn''t just reveal someone''s secret, a secret that was more precious to them than their own life, to a complete stranger


    Caw, caw. Even if I were to paint the crow crying sorrowfully above us white and presented it as a gift, who would accept a crow that was just pretending to be white?


    (TL Note: Similar to ¡®a leopard can¡¯t change its spots.¡¯)


    The paint would chip away, revealing the black beneath.


    A lie is a dirty sin that only plunges both the person who says it and the person who hears it into misery.


    In the end, all I could do was keep my mouth shut tight and present only the result, without explaining the process or the reason behind it.


    I said *that Alice was desperately missing someone, or, something that wasn¡¯t here for some unavoidable reason.*


    I said *that the one who entrusted Alice to me is the very person who saved her and whom Alice adored more than her biological family.*


    *That when the time was right, and if she wishes, you too will be able to know the truth.*


    *That a little time, a little patience, was needed.*


    Hoping to ask for that¡ª


    "Caw, caw!"


    "¡­Huh?"


    A¡­Cr¡­ow?


    A slightly raspy crow''s caw, came from the rooftop of the building we were sitting at.


    The ominous sound of a crow cawing loudly three or four times.


    The people passing by and Remi Akaia sitting in front of me were ignoring and not reacting at all to this seemingly ordinary event of a crow cawing.


    I wish I could just ignore it too, but in my current state, I couldn''t bring myself to do so.


    That''s because I had bad memories associated with crows.


    And because it was a creature that symbolized ''her''.


    "¡ªYou''re telling, a very interesting story."


    ".......I''m screwed."


    Bang!


    I desperately hoped this wasn''t real, and slammed my head on the table.


    I hoped it was just a bad dream.


    But the vivid pain on my forehead felt like it was saying, ''Now that the owner is dead, this is my world!''


    If I die, you die too, you bastard.


    "..Ha...Haha..."


    I forced my stiff neck to turn, and greeted the new participant in this conversation with the brightest smile I could muster.


    "I''m also very interested in hearing your story. Like, why you¡¯re with that girl over there."


    "...Who are you. Do you, know me?"


    "I know you. I know you better than you know yourself."


    Speak of the tiger and they shall appear, as they say.


    (TL Note: The original proverb in Korean is ¡°Even a tiger comes if you say his/her name¡±, basically means whatever you were talking about just appeared. But I translated it into an English idiom and changed the term a bit so it fits, ¡®Speak of the devil¡¯.)


    But I didn''t know that something several times scarier than a tiger would appear.


    If I knew, I wouldn''t have said anything.


    Really, I wouldn''t have.


    Really¡­


    "Don''t you agree, ''Parasite''?"


    "...Ah, I really miss Alice."


    They say people are naturally afraid of animals that are black.


    As far as I know, there was an animal far more terrifying than any other.


    She, Saelli, had appeared in the imperial capital.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 66: On the Verge.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 66 ¡µ Chapter 66. On the Verge.


    (TL Note: In the original text, ¡®????¡¯ meant a critical state where something could explode if touched even once.)


    * * *


    **


    Being dragged around by the scruff of my neck wasn''t a pleasant experience, as I''ve learned whenever it happens, but I think it''s particularly unpleasant this time.


    The feeling of my shirt being stretched taut and my fragile neck becoming the only support for my heavy body, is something that any normal person, not just me, would try to avoid.


    Of course, it might be someone else¡¯s fantasy.


    But at least, that someone isn''t me.


    Really.


    I just wonder how cats can feel so comfortable in this position. That''s all I''m curious about.


    Creak, creak?


    "¡ªKeh, kehk!? S-Stop! Saelli. No, Lady Saelli!?"


    "Be quiet. Shut your mouth and follow me quietly. While I''m still being nice."


    How is this being nice in any way.


    Is this some kind of joke that only monsters understand?


    Crack, an ominous sound emanated from my back, bent to its limit in the opposite direction as it was meant to bend.


    I was in a strange and uncomfortable position, almost like I was performing a circus act, maintaining a delicate balance with only her hand gripping my neck and my toes barely touching the ground.


    (TL Note: wtf, is this some Michael Jackson move or somethin?)


    The fact that it wasn''t voluntary was the key difference between this and an actual circus act.


    It felt like the slightest misstep would lead to an irreversible disaster.


    If it weren''t for the flexibility I had gained from my years as a mercenary, I would have already tumbled to the ground, making a fool of myself.


    Of course, that didn''t mean my current posture was any better, though.


    Never have I been so grateful for the lack of people around.


    They say that if you can look up at the sky three times a day, you''re living a happy life.


    That''s nice.


    I''ve already achieved one, today.


    "Ueeeeeh¡ª"


    Whoosh, whoosh, the scenery whizzed by.


    Forced into a position where I had to look at the sky, I noticed that we had transitioned from the clean and orderly shopping district to a more run-down area, and I could roughly guess where we were now.


    The outskirts of the city, at its very edge.


    The taller and thicker the buildings, the darker and wider their shadows become.


    Just like there are well-trodden paths people frequent, there are also dark, secluded alleys that people avoid and turn away from.


    We had entered into one of those dark shadows.


    ¡ªWhoosh!


    "Whoa!?"


    "Haa...."


    Now that we''d reached our destination, I guess there was no need for her to keep holding onto my neck.


    My body, plummeted towards the ground with a whoosh.


    I wasn''t expecting her to help me up, but she could have at least gently placed me on the ground instead of throwing me.


    And please stop looking at me with that expression, as if you had touched a parasite, after throwing me away.


    I wish she would show me even a third¡­ no, that''s too much to ask. Just a ninth of the kindness she shows to Alice.


    And then, if I were to go to Alice and tell her about this outrageous act, she would probably appear behind Alice out of nowhere and kindly chop off my head before describing the horrible things that would happen to me, it would be truly a tragedy that would make the heavens weep and the earth tremble.


    It''s too much.


    The touch I felt after so long lacked any gentleness that could be called human kindness, reminding me of my pathetic situation.


    And the even sadder fact was that I was getting used to it.


    Heeeng.


    "...Heeeng."


    "What''s with the ''Heeeng'' again."


    Tsk, tsk.


    Even if it¡¯s rotten, it¡¯s still a good tooth.


    (TL Note: Another Korean proverb ¡®??? ????.¡¯ meaning that a valuable item retains its original value even if it is damaged.)


    Still, though it was a secluded alley where people rarely came, the only things that stood out were the moss and plants that had grown along the walls, there was no garbage or filth in sight, truly befitting the imperial capital.


    Lying sprawled on the clean pavement, I counted the leaves of a dicotyledonous plant growing beside me, squirming slightly each time her foot nudged me.


    One leaf, two leaves¡­


    "Stop acting pathetic and get up."


    "...Yes, ma''am."


    Feeling like I might really die if this continued, I quickly got up.


    As the saying goes, ''The law is far, but violence is near,'' Alice, who could protect me, was far away, and Saelli was right in front of me.


    Perhaps it was because I hadn''t eaten properly during my growth spurt, I was relatively short, but even considering that, I felt like a tiny kitten in front of her large frame, her shadow easily engulfing my entire body.


    She opened her blood-red lips.


    "What did I write in the letter?"


    Her vertically slit, bright red eyes glared at me, flashing with a dangerous light.


    Looking into her eyes, I learned that a person could curse someone with just their eyes, without saying a word.


    She is, So, So angry¡­


    "¡­Uh, Saelli¡­ma''am? It¡¯s been a while¡ª"


    "¡ªI asked what I wrote in the letter."


    "Hieeek!?"


    Operation ''Greet with a smile'' was a complete failure.


    Hoping to appeal to the sage''s wisdom that you can''t spit on a smiling face, I tried to move my expression, which was shrunk with fear, into something resembling a smile, but Saelli''s face didn''t soften even as I greeted her.


    Saelli. She was a woman who could throw a punch at a person''s smiling face without hesitation.


    I''m screwed.


    I''m totally screwed.


    That thought alone kept lingering in my mind, refusing to leave.


    "You! Where are you suddenly going with that woman?"


    "....Tch."


    But was I being thrown a lifeline?


    Tap, tap, tap.


    The sound of rapid footsteps, echoed from the alleyway we had come from.


    Following our trail, Remi Akaia came running towards us, panting heavily.


    I was about to wave my hand to greet her, but I had to slowly lower the hand I had started to raise.


    After all, asking for help from her, the very source of the problem, would be the worst possible move I could make in this situation.


    In the end, I had to navigate this life-threatening predicament on my own.


    The lifeline that had seemed like it would save me was actually a bomb that would only make things worse if I grabbed it.


    "Well¡­ you told me not to cause any trouble, and to just stay quiet¡­.that''s what you said."


    "What I meant in that was ''don''t cause any incidents,'' but¡­ well, you seem to understand that well. So, why did you do it? Why is she with you?"


    ".....Um."


    Saelli''s words, interrogating me.


    Honestly, I had a lot of excuses I wanted to make. S§×ar?h the NovelFire.net* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    I was just living an ordinary life at the academy, and it was she who had impulsively entrusted Alice to me.


    Of course, I understood that if Saelli had gone as far as to leave Alice with me, it must have been a serious situation, but still, it was too sudden.


    And besides, Saelli wouldn''t have known that ''Remi Akaia'' was at the Museion.


    But when I thought about Alice''s injured arm.


    And the fact that I hadn''t done anything to help Alice until her mood had taken a turn for the worse, I couldn''t completely deny her words, either.


    "........."


    Since I had no intention of denying or making excuses, I lowered my head as a sign of apology.


    "¡ªWait, you, I''m asking who you are!"


    "You don''t need to know who I am. And I have no intention of telling you, either."


    Did she sense that the situation was turning sour.


    Or did she instinctively feel that Saelli, standing in front of her, was a crucial piece to solve the puzzle of Alice''s past.


    Remi Akaia strode towards us and forcefully grabbed on Saelli''s shoulder, trying to make her look at her.


    ¡ªSqueeze.


    "........"


    "....What the?!"


    But if there was one thing Remi Akaia had overlooked, it was that Saelli wasn''t an ordinary person.


    No matter how much strength she exerted, Saelli''s body didn''t even budge.


    She just looked at Remi Akaia''s face with a disinterested look, as if she didn''t care what she was doing, her hand still resting on Saelli''s shoulder.


    Even I felt a chill run down my spine at that condescending gaze, as if she was looking at an ant, so imagine how much worse must it have been for Remi Akaia herself.


    She shrank slightly.


    But at Saelli''s next words, Remi Akaia''s demeanor changed completely.


    "It doesn''t matter. In any case, I''m taking Alice back with me."


    "¡ªHuh?"


    Those chillingly cold words, I wonder which of the two was the coldness coming from.


    I lifted my head and looked to my side, and saw Remi Akaia''s eyes, devoid of any life, her voice was reminiscent of when she was back at the greenhouse.


    Realizing that her gaze was fixed on Saelli, I sensed the storm that was about to engulf us.


    Unfortunately, it was a storm without an eye, so to speak.


    "Who''s taking who? You, say that again."


    "I said, I''m taking Alice back."


    "...Ha, you seem to think your mouth is the only hole that''s been opened."


    Amber eyes, resembling the moon.


    Blood-ruby like eyes, resembling the sun.


    I could see the gazes of the two people, both unwilling to yield, locked onto each other.


    "...Hngg."


    Life is always so tiring.


    I crouched down and started counting the leaves of the plant growing nearby again.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 67: Errare humanum est.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 67 ¡µ Chapter 67. Errare humanum est.


    (TL note: The Latin phrase "Errare humanum est" translates to "To err is human". Means that it¡¯s common for everyone to make mistakes.)


    * * *


    **


    CRRACK¡ª!!


    "Why, I wonder, won''t the world leave that child alone."


    "...You!?"


    Soft flesh and strong metal.


    The collision between those two opposing forces resulted in a rather shocking outcome, as the sword blade crumpled like a sheet of paper.


    Black smoke rose from Saelli''s hand, which had effortlessly crushed Remi Akaia''s sword as if it were aluminum foil.


    Faced with this result that defied common sense, Remi Akaia could only stare blankly at Saelli. Although she hadn''t intended to take a life and hadn''t thrust the sword with full force, she never dreamed she''d be rendered so pathetically powerless, even taking that into account.


    Shards of the sword, now reduced to a powder, rained down.


    A grating, unpleasant sound, filled the alleyway where we stood.


    "That child finally found some peace, but now this is happening."


    "...What..."


    I was incredibly relieved that the two of them were still clinging to the last shred of their sanity, and that Remi Akaia hadn''t crossed the line.


    If she had thrust her sword with even a hint of murderous intent.


    If Saelli had judged that killing her wouldn''t threaten Alice''s safety but rather help...


    Right now, on this pavement.


    A cold, lifeless corpse, would have been lying there.


    Of course, I knew that this clash was just the first aftershock of the many earthquakes that were to come, but still, it was a relief that they had somehow managed to overcome the first hurdle I had been most worried about.


    After all, no one had died.


    I sighed in relief, grateful that I didn''t have to intervene.


    ¡ªSRRRK.


    "........."


    A faint sound of a sword that was half-drawn.


    I discreetly sheathed the protruding blade, coughing loudly to cover the sound.


    The situation still showed no signs of heading in a good direction.


    The two of them were still glaring at each other, their eyes locked in a deadly battle, and the tangled mess of a situation was too complicated that it offered no clue as to where to even begin unraveling it.


    I watched them face off, trying to come up with a way to turn this situation around.


    Of course, it wasn''t coming easily, but still.


    "Alice is already happy with me. There''s no room for you to come between us."


    Saelli declared.


    Her words were definite, without any conditional phrases like ''if'' or ''perhaps'' that implied uncertainty.


    Her blunt words, reminiscent of a straight line, carried an unexpected weight that didn''t match their simplicity.


    And because they were so simple and direct, they became the sharpest weapon, piercing straight into her opponent''s heart.


    If you truly want Alice to be happy, then give up on the idea of getting involved with us.


    Your existence will only be a hindrance.


    Look.


    Even now, you''re just making a fool of yourself.


    It was essentially a declaration that she had no right to take Alice away.


    "You bitch¡ª!?"


    Of course, just because her weapon was broken.


    Just because she had nothing to rely on in her hands.


    Remi Akaia wasn''t a saint who would just stand there and let someone take away Alice right before her eyes.


    She dropped the now useless hilt of her broken sword and lunged at Saelli, her fist aimed at her face.


    But if there was one thing she had miscalculated, it was that.


    Saelli wasn''t weak or kind enough to quietly take a punch thrown without even proper form.


    ¡ªCrash!


    Dust scattered into the air.


    "...I¡­won''t¡­ugh¡­urk¡­allow¡­that¡­!"


    "¡­Your permission doesn''t matter. What matters is that Alice wants me. As long as she wants that, I will never leave her side ¡ª unlike you."


    ".....Go....to,kek.....hell.....!!"


    Her swung fist was easily caught by Saelli''s hand.


    The two of them, spinning around on the alley pavement hand-in-hand, almost looked like a dance, but the outcome of that dance was rather brutal.


    Saelli, using Remi Akaia''s attack against her by slamming her into the wall, and then using the forearm of her right hand, which was still gripping Remi Akaia''s wrist, began to slowly apply pressure on her slender neck.


    Of course, Remi Akaia wasn''t the type to readily admit defeat, and she thrashed like a wild beast, desperately trying to break free.


    But the very idea of pushing back an opponent she might not be able to beat even in a proper stance, while pinned to a wall in an awkward position, was just stupid.


    All she could do was provoke her opponent while letting out small groans.


    But for Saelli, a cold-blooded woman who treated humans as nothing more than mere bugs to be used at will, such cheap provocations wouldn''t work¡ª


    ¡ªCrack!!


    "........."


    "...Keh, keheuk?!"


    ¡­Ah, maybe not...?


    Did it¡­ actually work...?


    I mean, she¡­ She wasn¡¯t even listening, was she?


    Although her face still held an impassive expression, the black aura emanating from her arm seemed to have intensified a bit¡­maybe?


    Huh? What''s this, did she really get angry? Seriously?


    Come to think of it, watching her play with Alice, I did get the feeling that she was becoming more human-like day by day.


    Since they must have spent a year together being lovey-dovey after I left, it''s only natural that she''s become more human-like than before.


    But then why am I still being treated the same as always?


    I don''t really get it.


    Anyway, the winner had essentially been decided.


    Watching their fight, which showed no signs of calming down and was only getting more violent, I decided that I should intervene.


    Judging by Remi Akaia''s face, which had gone from red to deathly pale, if this continued, someone might really die.


    And it''s not like either of them would back down.


    If I were to butt in with a lame joke from the side and ruin the mood, they might leave saying the excitement was ruined.


    Well, even though it was a losing deal for me, I guess I''ll just take a few hits and end this.


    I''m used to being treated like a punching bag, after all.


    "Haah¡­"


    I dusted off my clothes and was about to stand up.


    That is, until I heard Saelli''s words.


    "¡ªI will keep Alice with me, forever. I will make sure she only sees a happy world and never has to think about sad things ever again."


    I froze, mid-rise.


    Hearing those words that should have never come out of her mouth, I stared blankly at Saelli''s face with my mouth open.


    Because I couldn''t believe she had said that.


    Because I couldn''t believe she had actually said those words.


    I even felt a slight sense of betrayal towards a friend I hadn''t seen in so long.


    "Aris is¡­ my¡­ Ugh, Ughk!"


    "¡ªDon''t call Alice by that name."


    I stood up silently, without making a sound.


    I firmly grasped the slightly curved handle of the sword that was hidden beneath my clothes, hanging behind my back, making sure it wouldn''t slip out.


    The silver light, created by the sunlight reflecting off the blade, illuminated the moss growing on the ground.


    "My¡­ little sister, IGaK¡ª!!!"


    "¡ªLost little sister, you mean."


    Saelli, strongly pressing down on Remi Akaia''s throat.


    That back, which had seemed so intimidating before, now looked so pathetic.


    I couldn''t bear to see any more of her pathetic display. S§×arch* The nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    I quietly approached her from behind, muffling my footsteps.


    And I¡ª


    "¡ªHuh?"


    "...You, the more I see you, the more of a circus you become."


    Pointed my sword at her neck.


    **


    In the past, there was a child who adored the monster that had saved her life, as if it were her real parent.


    The monster''s frozen heart melted at the child''s warmth, and the monster, having faced its own heart, didn''t want to let go of the child.


    So the monster.


    So she.


    Locked the child in a cage, deceiving itself with the excuse that it was all for the sake of protecting the child, to prevent the child from abandoning her and flying away.


    "What are you doing¡ª"


    "¡ªYou, have you forgotten?"


    "........."


    That her own selfish desire to keep the child by her side had ended up hurting the child.


    Where did the one who had cried tears of blood, confessing her sins. Where had that person gone?


    Have you forgotten what we talked about that night?


    Are you trying to repeat the same mistake as back then?


    I asked, pressing the sword I held to her heart.


    Honestly, my actions might not have been all that different from Saelli''s.


    Someone might call me a hypocrite.


    After all, wasn''t I also deliberately hiding the truth from Alice, who was desperately searching for her past, even if that past is only filled with betrayal and pain.


    I had no right to criticize Saelli''s actions, her attempts to protect Alice by pushing away anyone she deemed a potential threat, to only show her the good and bright things in life.


    But even to me.


    Even to a trash like me.


    "That''s wrong."


    "........"


    That''s just wrong.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 68: Fledgling.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 68 ¡µ Chapter 68. Fledgling.


    * * *


    **


    Even as time passed, the curtain showed no sign of falling.


    The original script, which I had practiced and thought about dozens, hundreds of times, was now useless.


    Even improvising had reached its limit.


    The more I continued, the more I felt like I was sinking into a bottomless swamp.


    Just when will the curtain finally fall.


    How long do I have to drag this life out.


    I thought I could finally end it beautifully this time, but the many opportunities to end my life which had presented themselves, had long since vanished.


    It would be nice if they could fly far away, the people who had grown from small ducklings into graceful swans soaring through the sky were still circling around me, refusing to leave, as I drifted along the water''s edge.


    I felt a sense of pride, seeing them fly freely in the sky, their beautiful forms, but at the same time, there was a miserable me who ended up feeling jealous of that sight.


    I wanted to be like them.


    But I, could never be like them.


    It was a truly, outlandish desire.


    "¡­You''re all so unfair."


    My complaints were short-lived.


    The stage lights, shining brightly upon me, alone on stage.


    The sound effects, echoing from all directions.


    They showed no sign of disappearing, continuing to shine mockingly at me, still sitting on the ground.


    No more mistakes will be tolerated.


    "........?"


    The red shoes were put on my feet.


    One, two. A frenzied dance that wouldn''t stop until death began.


    Even if the two dancing legs were cut off, even under the falling blade of the guillotine, the curse of these red shoes will never be lifted.


    Because the hands grasping my legs, none other, would not allow the dance to stop.


    Wrinkled hands and delicate hands.


    Unsightly crushed hands and small, snow-white hands.


    Hands with all nails pulled out and bleeding, hands covered in calluses.


    Smooth hands and hands with unique rings, hands with traces of burns and hands with several fingers cut off, hands clutching banknotes and hands with striking red manicures.


    As long as all of them don''t let me go, that is.


    If one person is happy, does that mean another person has to be unhappy?


    Conversely, if one person is unhappy, does that mean another person has to be happy?


    I don''t know about such a dichotomous argument.


    I don''t even want to think about it, my head hurts.


    But one thing is certain.


    The happiness I had been ignorantly enjoying before, was something that should have belonged to someone else in this place.


    And that I, who was only prolonging a meaningless life, had stolen theirs.


    The hands holding onto my legs were their hands.


    The hands of those who couldn''t live a happy life because of me.


    Whether this never-ending life was something I wanted or not.


    The fact that I had stolen from them remained unchanged.


    And the fact that I had to pay the price for it also remained unchanged.


    That''s why I shouldn''t wish for happiness.


    To bow my head, to kneel, to let them step on me and climb to greater heights, was the only thing I could do.


    And a single flower, a single teardrop that they dropped, a place in their memories that wouldn''t be forgotten, was the only reward I could receive.


    Be content with enjoying that process. sea??h th§× N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Haven''t you been doing well so far?


    Haven''t you been enduring well so far?


    ".....Ha. Haha."


    I stood up.


    Who was it that said once you start dancing, you have to see it through to the end, that they didn''t want to see a pathetic and anticlimactic ending?


    It was none other than myself.


    ¡ªThud.


    ".........."


    On the table, I saw a small knife used for cutting fruit.


    A knife so sharply honed that if misused, it could easily take the life of a young girl, even by accident.


    As if enchanted, I climbed down from the windowsill and started walking towards the table.


    ".....Uh¡­ um¡­ Princess¡­"


    "..........."


    Who is she calling?


    It was easy to quietly pick up the knife without waking Tessa, who was sound asleep beside me.


    With trembling fingers, I caressed that sharpest object containing death.


    Swish, swish.


    ".........."


    My pulse raced, my heart pounded.


    My reflection in the blurry blade. The dull surface was completely covered by a red liquid flowing from my finger.


    But, even so.


    "I don''t feel anything."


    As if I was completely broken.


    Really, I felt nothing.


    **


    It fucking hurts.


    That was my first thought.


    "...From now on, I would appreciate it if you wouldn''t get in my way with your half-baked sense of duty."


    "...You''re saying it''s my fault? What the hell? No, seriously, why!? Hey!!"


    "............"


    Clink, clink.


    I soothed my swollen cheek with a glass filled with ice, glaring resentfully at her, who was leisurely walking in front of me with a gaze full of dissatisfaction.


    I had stopped the fight, and tried to set things straight when she was about to head down the wrong path, so why then are you treating me that coldly.


    On top of that, she even broke my sword.


    The wrist of my hand which had been gripping the hilt is still throbbing.


    Look at my wrist! I said look!


    Step, step.


    "........."


    Like a cat that''s done something wrong but still wants to maintain its pride, yet can''t quite manage to act completely brazen.


    Seeing Saelli trying her best to avoid making eye contact with me, as if there was something she felt guilty about, but in the end, I was the one who surrendered.


    Well, considering my boundless generosity, I have no choice but let it go


    No, in this case, she''s more like a lion than a cat.


    Anyway, from what I''ve heard, Saelli has lived several times longer than me, and if you look closely at her words and actions, they often seem no different from a child''s. Maybe because she lacked experience in human relationships, despite her long life.


    Like a naive child who had gotten hold of something so precious that she doesn''t know what to do with it and just wants to hold it tightly in her arms.


    Before, she used to give off a more adult-like vibe, but I wonder if it''s because she''s become more true to her emotions while living with Alice¡ª


    ¡ªThwack!


    "...Oof?! Ah, s-stop. You hit a bone. Seriously¡­!!"


    "........"


    I got hit again.


    My side ached terribly. Really, it hurt so much I could cry.


    And Remi Akaia, instead of showing concern for me as I limped down the street, clutching my aching side, glared at me with a look of disdain.


    To think that I had basically saved this woman too, and yet she was treating me so coldly.


    I wonder if she''s not thinking of her own embarrassing moment, in that while Saelli and I were arguing, she was flapping her arms around and tapping Saelli''s arm that was choking her.


    Really. It seemed like everyone around me was completely devoid of conscience.


    "Hngg¡­ It''s not like there''s any place on my body to hit¡­"


    "......You know, I''ve been thinking, don''t you have a natural talent for earning a beating?"


    ".....?"


    "......I''m saying you deserve another hit."


    Thwack.


    The fight was somehow resolved.


    Saelli admitted that she hadn''t meant what she said from the bottom of her heart, and that she had been overprotective of Alice''s safety due to the unknown individuals who had suddenly attacked their home.


    Come to think of it, that''s why she had sent Alice to the Museion.


    I wonder who those reckless people that dared to attack Saelli were.


    ".....Haah."


    "...What is it? No, tell me what it is."


    ".........You don''t need to know."


    When I asked about the identity of the attackers, just in case, she stared at me intently for a moment and then clammed up. She still hasn''t explained what she meant.


    I don''t know what she means by ''weeds'' either.


    And I don''t know why she looked at me when she said that, I really have no idea.


    Anyway, even though it ended that way, Saelli still adamantly opposed Remi Akaia being near Alice.


    When Remi Akaia heard that, she went berserk and got angry, almost opening the prologue to a second fight, but let''s skip over that, thinking about it would only give me a headache.


    Well, in the end, we all agreed to just shut up and go see Alice.


    Thinking about it, we all had the same thought.


    Tap.


    "¡ªThe fact that you''ve already crossed the line, doesn''t excuse your actions."


    ".....That''s what you''re bringing up after coming all the way here?"


    "I thought I should say it before we meet Alice."


    The dormitory where I was currently staying.


    With just one step left before entering the dormitory where I''m currently living, I turned around and gave Saelli a warning.


    We had, undeniably, made a mistake.


    But it should become a milestone engraved in our hearts so that the same thing never happens again.


    It absolutely cannot mean that because we''ve already committed a sin, it''s okay to commit the same sin again.


    Even if her anxiety, born from the recent attack, made her act rashly, what was wrong is still wrong.


    "I didn''t mean to confine Alice. I just wanted to eliminate anything that could harm her from her surroundings¡ª"


    "Shut up, a sturdy fence is no different from a cage."


    Do you think it''s right to lock away everything else so that they can''t reach Alice, just because Alice isn''t the one being caged?


    What''s the difference between that and turning the outside of the cage into the inside?


    Saelli needs to understand that difference.


    Well, at least it''s a relief that she apologized, admitting that she too had momentarily lost her head.


    Because if Saelli truly set her mind to it, no one could stop her, except for Alice.


    Even I was only able to get behind her back because of luck.


    "Anyway, Alice has been gloomy lately, probably because you haven''t been around. Go and cheer her up."


    "...Huhu, yes. I understand."


    "¡­Tch."


    There was one person who was unhappy that the woman she didn''t like was going to see her little sister, but overall, it was a satisfactory ending.


    We slowly entered the dormitory where Alice was waiting.


    Completely unaware of what was about to happen.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 69: Sensing Change.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 69 ¡µ Chapter 69. Sensing Change.


    * * *


    **


    As I stepped out of the carriage, which now felt familiar and even endearing, I could sense the cold winter air welcoming me.


    The moment my feet touched the solid, unwavering ground, a strange feeling arose. But it was short-lived. Soon, the wind that felt refreshing at first turned bitterly cold, and I tightened the white robe covering my body.


    The cold season.


    Around me, only bare skeletal branches stood alone, asserting their existence after shedding their leaves to the ground.


    The only sign of life I could find were the people walking down the street, bundled up in thick clothes.


    The dark clouds that filled the sky, made it impossible to tell whether it was day or night, or somewhere in between.


    The season closest to death, it¡¯s winter.


    Come to think of it, it was like this that day too.


    I still vividly remember the day Aris fell from the cliff. The wind was just as bitingly cold then as it is now.


    "......Keh, keheuk."


    The dry wind, devoid of any moisture, brought up the taste of blood in my throat.


    I''ve always thought this, but it seems I could never get used to the grey, desolate beauty of winter.


    Perhaps, never will.


    Winter will forever remain a nightmare for me.


    ".....It''s cold."


    And lonely.


    Hoo, I exhaled softly, I could see my misty breath carried away by the wind.


    The breath that had painted the sky vanished within seconds, but that fleeting moment was more than enough to captivate me.


    I inhaled, then exhaled again.


    My mouth grew drier, my lungs colder.


    The act of breathing, so essential for life, now felt like it was slowly killing me.


    I could only stop this addictive process when I could no longer form a mist with my breath.


    How many minutes had passed since I began this pitiful pastime.


    Step, step. I could sense someone who had been watching me approaching.


    I didn''t want to turn my head, nor did I have a reason to, so I just kept looking up at the cloudy sky.


    But it seemed they weren''t of the same mind.


    ¡ªTap.


    "¡­Princess Anna. What are your plans now?"


    "..........."


    The footsteps that had been approaching stopped right behind me.


    As I gazed at the sky, gathering my thoughts, a man''s voice reached me.


    At the edge of my vision, I could see the contents of today''s newspaper he seemed to be holding.


    Perhaps it was because he had called out my name, or perhaps it was because I wanted to see the insolent person who had interrupted my thoughts, I turned away from the sky and looked at the middle-aged man who had approached.


    There stood a man who had been reading a newspaper on a bench in the square until I got out of the carriage. He had naturally rolled up his sleeve as he approached me.


    On that wrist, a small symbol I recognized was engraved.


    "¡­What is it? I trust you haven''t forgotten the orders I gave you earlier."


    "¡­It''s cold outside. You might fall ill."


    "..........."


    A crow with a sword in its beak.


    He was one of the guards who had followed me from the Tesillia Kingdom to the Akard Empire.


    Perhaps it seemed dangerous to them, a woman standing outside in the cold winter wind, so one of them had approached me, breaking the unspoken rule of not directly contacting the person they were guarding.


    The people drinking hot beverages in nearby shops, the group of women chatting in a corner of the square, the peddler spreading out a cloth and selling his wares, all those people who had been glancing at me from earlier.


    Was it that they all subtly worried about my well-being.


    Sometimes, their kindness is burdensome.


    Someone like me should just be left alone somewhere.


    "......Haa."


    ".........."


    So, I had to make a decision.


    I couldn¡¯t keep standing here indecisive in the cold, not only was it a nuisance to me, but also to them.


    I came to see my sister, yet here I am, the very person in question, unable to face her and throwing a childish tantrum.


    But it was ironic that it was they, not I, who were suffering from my indecisiveness.


    Yes.


    It has always been like this.


    Whenever I made a mistake, the consequences of my sins always fell upon others.


    How many times have I wanted to tell those consequences, seemingly taunting me as they pass to others, to torment me instead?


    Remi, Aris, all of them.


    Their only sin was that they had this incompetent older sister.


    Then why, why were they the ones who had to suffer?


    Mistakes, sins.


    All of those things weren''t created on their own, but by my actions.


    I could no longer tolerate the fact that my weakness was causing harm to others any longer.


    "It''s time for me to meet her soon. Yes, I have to go¡­"


    "......As you wish."


    But right now, I was just exhausted.


    The journey, which had lasted almost a month, had taken a toll on me.


    But what weighed down my steps even more was this cold wind that felt like it was clinging to my limbs, dragging me down.


    Really, isn''t this too much.


    Of all the day I had come to see Remi, it would be a winter day like this.


    It was as if the world had prepared this especially for me, to torment me.


    It knew exactly the most effective way to hurt me.


    So. S~ea??h the nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    S-So.


    "¡ªPlease rest today and recover from your fatigue."


    "..........."


    "Tomorrow, I will take you to see Remi tomorrow."


    One day should be fine.


    If I had the energy, I would have gone to the Museion right now and talked to Remi.


    I wanted to ask if she was doing well, if she was eating properly, if she still hated me.


    But I was too tired right now.


    I turned my steps towards the inn where I would be staying temporarily.


    The sky filled with gray clouds.


    Earnestly hoping in my heart that it wouldn''t snow tomorrow, that the world wouldn''t be covered in white.


    **


    "¡­???, ??!!"


    "¡­.??, ???!"


    It''s so noisy.


    At the sound of shouting echoing in the room, I raised my hands to cover my ears.


    But I quickly realized that one of my arms was missing a hand, so I just buried my face in my knees instead of covering my ears.


    Thinking that if I couldn''t see, at least I could alleviate the headache that was clouding my mind.


    Like I was trying to sleep.


    I curled up sitting on the window sill, and wished for time to pass.


    "...Alice?"


    "..........."


    "Alice, are you sick somewhere? Hm?"


    Tessa''s voice, filled with genuine concern for me.


    Her hand stroked my head, which must have grown cold from the wind blowing through the wide-open window.


    My head moved from side to side, not on my own will, but as if it had a mind of its own, so she must be stroking it, huh.


    I wanted to tell her that the thing that was bothering me the most right now was their presence itself, but I couldn''t bring myself to say it out loud.


    The blanket covering me felt cumbersome.


    The emotions directed at me had become tiresome.


    The best I could do was to turn my face side to side while keeping my head buried in my knees.


    A child''s clumsy way of expressing her displeasure.


    Bang, bang!


    "Oh, for crying out loud! Hey!! Be quiet!! Can''t you see Alice''s condition right now!?"


    "¡­??, ???¡­!"


    ".....????,??..."


    "¡­????,??."


    At the sound of Tessa pounding on the wall, the noise from the next room momentarily quieted.


    But it was only for a moment, the voices arguing with each other showed no signs of subsiding, and instead, they were gradually escalating.


    I could almost hear Tessa''s sigh from here.


    They had entered through the front door, chattering excitedly.


    Those who had expected to see me smiling brightly froze in the very posture they had when opening the door, upon seeing my completely broken, unsightly state.


    Only after seeing their strange reaction did I realize the mistake I had made.


    My face reflected in the nearby mirror, which I thought was smiling, was wearing an expression I couldn''t bear to look at.


    Soon, Saelli, quickly judging that something was wrong, rushed towards me, but it didn''t change anything.


    I climbed onto the window sill with my face down.


    And that''s where I still am.


    "Alice... No, Lady Aris. Have you regained all your memories?"


    ".........."


    "...Could you tell me what happened, just to me? Please?"


    They were making another interesting misunderstanding.


    No, in a life riddled with misunderstandings and deceptions from the start, one more misunderstanding wouldn''t change anything.


    The only difference was whether I had intended it or not.


    But that, too, had become meaningless now.


    No one cares about your intentions.


    They judge your intentions based on the outcome.


    Everything is meaningless.


    The shouting from the room shows no sign of ending.


    And then, finally, after seeing me unresponsive even when they called me for dinner, Saelli decided that this couldn''t go on and made a decision.


    I just kept sitting on the window sill, my head buried in my knees.


    F????????o???????r?????e???????????v?????????e????????r???????????????.??????


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 70: Shaken.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 70 ¡µ Chapter 70. Shaken.


    * * *


    **


    They say that growth always comes with pain.


    The pain that silently resides between our outer and inner selves, leaves us with lessons.


    People with a reason to live, those people could endure pain that would make them want to bite their tongues off and find meaning within it.


    Yes.


    Just like those I know who shine merely by being seen.


    And for those who aren''t like them.


    For those who are like me, who live reluctantly as if pushed from behind.


    Pain is just a punishment, a punishment that doesn''t even offer lessons for growth.


    Like Sisyphus''s endless punishment of pushing a boulder up a steep hill, only to watch it roll back down again.


    "Aris! Shall we go see the flowers? Hmm?"


    "........."


    "Ah! A new book came out at the bookstore, let''s go together!"


    Sway, sway.


    My body, too weak to stand on its own, swayed back and forth.


    Remi, the owner of those lively hands that were shaking me, was the only one who hadn''t lost her signature smile even when everyone else, including me, was drowning in melancholy.


    In Sia''s case, she still made an awkward, creaking expression whenever she dealt with me.


    Tessa, was consumed by guilt for not noticing my state despite being by my side all this time.


    And as for Saelli, she looked like the world had ended.


    I wonder what they are so afraid of.


    Of me suddenly leaving without a word?


    Of me confronting them about deceiving and betraying me?


    Or, of me doing something unspeakable after realizing the shocking truth?


    I knew all too well what they were afraid of, what they were worried about, but I didn''t feel the need to respond to them.


    Because no matter what I did now, they were already gone, far away, beyond my reach.


    And even if I sacrificed myself, my life wouldn''t be of any help to them.


    And.


    To me, who was merely paying the price for my own greed.


    Everything had become meaningless and tiresome.


    For Remi, of course, it was sad to see me drowning in sorrow, but perhaps she didn''t find it all that bad that I had regained my lost memories.


    She was momentarily shocked by my state, but quickly regained her composure and started treating me just like before.


    After all, sorrow is a fleeting emotion, one that fades with time.


    And the memories I had lost were originally irretrievable.


    Bad things are bad, but good things are good.


    That''s probably what she''s thinking.


    You could say that her strong mental fortitude, built from past experiences, and the fact that she hadn''t done anything particularly wrong to me compared to others, shone unnecessarily beautifully in that moment.


    Well, if that wasn''t the reason.


    Then it must be that even if I were to spend the rest of my life as a doll.


    Even if it was impossible to mend the deep rift that had formed between us, between our family.


    Just having me alive and by her side is enough to make her happy.


    Even if I''m broken and shattered, as long as I''m alive, that''s enough.


    That''s how Remi, who had lost me once, might be feeling.


    ¡ªThud.


    "........"


    The scenery in my view suddenly blurs.


    Looking closely, it seemed a single snowflake had flown in and landed in my eye as I was staring blankly out the window.


    The snowflake was incredibly pure and full of moisture, it was hard to believe that it was born from those gray clouds.


    I blinked a few times.


    The snowflake, having transformed into a single teardrop, slowly trickled down my cheek.


    Drip, drip.


    The parched earth, my skin, absorbed the moisture.


    "......Snow."


    "Snow? ¡­Ah! It really is snowing outside? It''s the first snowfall this year, so it must be the first snow, right?"


    The world was beginning to be painted white.


    At this moment, neither the unique colors of the buildings nor the attire of passing pedestrians held any meaning.


    The sight of large, beautiful snowflakes, formed by smaller snowflakes clinging together in midair, were falling.


    The man in the gray coat walking absent-mindedly down the street, the woman with green hair who had been intently reading a poster on a fence, the child who had been running around excitedly, all stopped and looked up at the falling snow with blank eyes.


    Snow slowly accumulated on the streets, and new snow fell upon the snow that had already settled on the ground.


    And so, the snow began to pile up.


    Layer by layer.


    "...It¡¯s snowing."


    Before I knew it, I was unconsciously extending my bandaged right hand out the window.


    Saelli, who had noticed faster than anyone else that I had gotten a cut on my hand while playing with a knife, had glared at my hand like a ghost.


    Unable to suck on my finger in front of everyone, she had used her clumsy medical skills, and the bandage that should have ended with wrapping my thumb ended up covering my entire right hand.


    When Sia had criticized her, she even got angry, saying that there was no need to conserve bandages when it was for the child.


    If someone were to look at me from outside the window, it would look like a bandaged hand had suddenly popped out.


    I wonder if anyone would notice, given that the arm wrapped in bandages has become similar in color to the snow.


    And with that hand, I was making a meaningless struggle to catch the snowflakes falling from the sky.


    Of course, I knew that the snow would melt immediately upon landing on my hand, that it would be absorbed into the bandage within seconds, but still, I couldn''t stop this foolish act.


    And, sure enough.


    Poof.


    After much struggle, a single snowflake finally landed on my hand.


    The snowflake that had been freely flying through the air soon disappeared on my hand


    Truly, like a dream.


    Even the traces of its existence, everything, was gone.


    ¡ªPssss.


    "¡ªAh."


    The last sound the snow made.


    It was so sad.


    "Aris, do you want to go out and see the snow? Let''s go together, shall we?"


    "........."


    I was about to shake my head, but then I stopped.


    I had thought about just shattering the window and jumping out, or just staying in this spot and waiting for the end. Countless times.


    But still, wouldn''t it be better to go out and feel the snow, as she said, than to have the curtain close with the sight of a child curled up on the window sill, dying.


    That thought suddenly came to me.


    "...Okay."


    I looked up at the sky, filled with dark clouds that relentlessly poured down white snow.


    The reason snow falls.


    They say that the reason it snows is that it''s God''s attempt to make the dirty world look clean.


    Even if it was a futile effort, a world that would soon be stained black by its inherent filth.


    Even if it was destined to become a muddy mess, trampled underfoot.


    The pure white snow sacrifices itself so that people walking on the streets cannot know that they themselves are dirty people.


    In this way, the snow becomes a small salvation, liberating people from all that is dirty.


    Liberation.


    ...Yes.


    Liberation, that''s what it was.


    "¡ªI, I want to go out."


    "¡­! Okay!! Let¡¯s go out together, Aris!"


    With those words, I climbed down from the window sill.


    At my sudden change of heart, she could have been angry, but Remi just smiled, seemingly happy.


    Well.


    I didn''t have any particular reason to go out.


    I just felt like walking down the street, if only for a moment.


    **


    "¡ªHowever."


    "I will not accept any objections."


    I spoke in the coldest, firmest voice possible to the man kneeling at my feet.


    If I showed even the slightest crack in my emotions, they would seize it and appeal to my heart, trying to sway my decision.


    I had originally planned to take only a minimal number of people, but the fact that I ended up with such a large entourage for this journey to the empire was all because of their scheming.


    Of course, behind it all were the instructions of my father and mother, but still.


    "I will take, at most, two people with me."


    "........"


    "I will not accept any more than that." S~ea??h the Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    I didn''t need as many guards now that we had arrived at the imperial capital.


    Their help had been somewhat useful when we were traveling by carriage through forests where bandits and kidnappers lurked, but their presence was unnecessary here where law and order were well-maintained.


    Rather, the fact that they were openly operating here could be detrimental to international relations.


    And the only reason we''ve been able to move like this so far is largely because the empire, knowing everything, has turned a blind eye.


    Of course, I assumed that they too had prepared some countermeasures, but I hoped they would refrain from interfering any further.


    For the sake of a sincere and private moment.


    Between me and Remi, only.


    "...It''s starting to snow, after all."


    I looked out the window.


    The ominous clouds I had been sensing since yesterday had started to spit out white snow.


    I was reminded once again of the simple and clear truth that the world would never grant even my simplest wishes.


    "....Let''s go."


    The snow continued to pour down like a heavy rain.


    I set out on an uncertain journey outside the inn.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 71: The Cause.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 71 ¡µ Chapter 71. The Cause.


    * * *


    **


    Where did it all go wrong?


    Sometimes, no.


    Maybe, it''s a question I ask myself every morning when I open my eyes.


    My original plan to end my life after helping Remi and Anna grow, that blueprint of a bright future, was already shattered, not even its original form remaining.


    Elli, who had fished me out of the forest as I was drifting towards death, saving my life on a whim, and then refusing to kill me while starting to gain her own enlightenment and move forward.


    Sia, I''ve never seen anyone who has lived as many lives as I have, not even those who have lived five or more lives, so perhaps this life, or the next, would be my last, and I could finally rest in peace. That¡¯s what I had thought.


    Unexpected encounters and relationships.


    The time spent with those heartwarming people had become paint, and they started to paint over the picture I had drawn.


    But, it was okay.


    I thought that another opportunity would come again with time.


    That then, I could truly end everything with a smile.


    With those thoughts in mind, I was able to endure each day.


    But no matter how much I tried to restore the picture to the way I had originally envisioned, the misplaced brushstrokes and the random splashes of color kept shaking my heart.


    Why, isn''t it going the way I want it to?


    Why, won''t they let me go?


    By the time I couldn''t even remember what the original picture I had in mind was, I had thrown away my brush and given up on everything.


    But, above all, the incident that truly broke my heart.


    The person who shattered my heart like this, more than anyone else.


    The person I loved more than anyone in this life, the one I wanted to help grow, the one I thought I would never see again. S§×ar?h the ¦ÇovelFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Remi Akaia.


    When my sister appeared before my eyes in a flower garden full of beautiful blooming flowers.


    Yes.


    All the cracks originated from her.


    ¡ªThud.


    "Wow! Aris, how about this book? This, this one, I used to read it to you all the time! Remember!?"


    ".......Yeah."


    Remi, as if she couldn''t be any happier, was dragging me around the marketplace, clutching my right arm.


    Thump, thump. In the street where white snow was falling, those amber eyes shone particularly brightly amidst it all.


    I couldn''t bring myself to shake off her hand, mesmerized by her bright smile and those eyes looking at me, and I was just being dragged around, unable to fulfill my original purpose of wanting to walk in the snow.


    That''s right.


    As always, I was nothing without others.


    I, who had lived as a friend to someone, a lover to someone, a child to someone.


    That meant that without them, I was nothing.


    Just an empty wooden doll, nothing more.


    Whatever more could I do.


    What more could I do for them, who no longer needed someone like me, who had nothing to gain from the trials I set before them.


    Elli and Sia, who had been left alone in the dark wilderness, could only stand there, doing nothing.


    Even cheering them on as I watched them take step after step from beside them was no longer possible, now that I had drifted so far away from them that I could no longer hear their voices.


    While I had chosen to remain here until their figures disappeared over the hill, there was a despicable me who was getting angry at them for not trying to take me along and moving forward alone.


    Anger, or perhaps, jealousy.


    If not that, then perhaps just the whining of a child.


    Like that, I was slowly crumbling, being consumed by a green-eyed monster.


    To me in such a state, the one I had already let go of in my heart, my lovely, immature sister, had approached me, now shining with a soul more beautiful than anyone else''s.


    And I felt it.


    Ah.


    I¡¯ve truly reached my limit.


    Because I saw Remi, flaunting the joy of growth, as if it was something a being like me could never experience again.


    Even Remi''s smile as she looked at me felt like she was mocking me, who could only watch from afar, unable to follow by their side.


    Of course, Remi probably didn''t mean it that way, but to me, who was already twisted and broken.


    Really, everything about her seemed to be mocking me.


    And so, with a sound I couldn''t even describe.


    A small crack, in my heart¡ª


    "¡ªAris?"


    "........"


    Snap.


    "........."


    A blue-covered book appeared before my eyes.


    Looking at that familiar object, I opened my mouth.


    "......Yes. I remember."


    "¡­! Aris, thank you!! Hehe!"


    Of course, I remember.


    A children''s book with a blue background, its cover filled with cute animals and a young girl with green eyes.


    A book about a girl who went on an adventure, overcame various hardships with the help of the friendly animals in the forest, and returned to the home she missed.


    It was one of the many books that Remi used to read to me at my bedside when we were younger.


    That was now in front of me.


    ¡ªThud.


    "........"


    I hugged the book Remi handed me with trembling arms, afraid of dropping it onto the snow-covered ground.


    Even though I couldn''t run my fingers across the cover to enjoy its texture with my bandaged hand that no longer had any feeling.


    Even though I couldn''t bury my face in the book and smell the unique fragrant scent of paper with my nose that only had the function of exhaling left.


    The book in my hands looked exactly the same as before.


    I could never forget it.


    How could I ever forget it.


    Drip, drip.


    Tears fell.


    ".......Alice. Are you alright?"


    "I remember¡­ I remember everything¡­"


    It wasn''t like something had gotten into my eyes like before.


    I was just recalling something I hadn''t lost in the first place, something I could feel as if it had happened just yesterday.


    But tears, for which I couldn''t explain the reason, kept flowing, creating countless holes in the snow that had piled up on the ground.


    Plop, plop, as if rain was falling from the sky instead of snow, droplets fell


    I ended up leaving wet marks all over the book Remi had given me as a gift.


    But even though I tried to wipe them away, tears kept flowing from my eyes like a broken faucet.


    And at my shocking state, they all rushed to my side and spoke words of concern about my condition, but I couldn''t give any reply.


    Because these tears, weren''t tears of joy.


    And these tears, weren''t tears of sadness either.


    They were,


    Just tears of pain.


    I''m crying because it''s too painful.


    All the anguish is flowing out as tears.


    I had deceived myself, saying it was for their sake, that it was a coincidence, that it couldn''t be helped.


    But the time I had spent with them, had undeniably been a time filled with what one might call ''happiness'', a thing I had tried so hard to avoid.


    Precious memories that should never disappear, no matter what happens.


    If there was an end to this arduous journey, or if the day came when my soul rotted away, those would be the memories I would proudly reminisce about in my final moments.


    But even those memories, now, only served to torment me, reminding me of my own worthlessness.


    ".........."


    Useless me, who couldn''t even help others properly.


    Such a useless person like me had no right to be by their side anywhere.


    They had already flown away to a place high above beyond my reach, and my existence by their side could be nothing more than a burden increasing their weight.


    So I want to stop now.


    I want to rest now.


    Should I have just died recklessly?


    Please stop tormenting me right before my eyes.


    Please don''t humiliate me like this.


    Rather, kill me and throw my body onto the barren earth where no sunlight reaches.


    I don''t even know what I''m saying anymore.


    Why is everyone coming closer to me.


    Just fly away to that high sky above.


    You''ve bloomed beautifully, so go back to the arms of your owner who will welcome you.


    Please don''t make me say that I want to live with you all.


    You all.


    You all can do that, can¡¯t you?


    "....Kuh, keheuk! Keu, ha¡­ haak¡­!"


    "¡­Aris!? Why, what''s wrong!?"


    Incoherent words, ramblings that a sane person wouldn''t utter.


    But with my muddled mind, thinking of words to that extent was the best I could do.


    My swollen throat and my ragged breathing felt like they were choking me, and my spinning vision seemed to be saying it was a miracle that I hadn''t lost consciousness yet.


    I''m okay.


    I can still endure it.


    I tried to say that¡ª


    "¡ªRemi?"


    I heard a voice.


    "¡­Huh?"


    "¡­?! You¡­ You¡­!?"


    I heard a voice I knew.


    It wasn''t the voice of anyone near me, and yet I knew that voice.


    I know of someone who could call Remi by her name so casually in this place.


    It might sound cold and indifferent, but I know better than anyone the kindness and warmth hidden within.


    I know it, don''t I.


    ©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤ C??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????r???????????????????????????a??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????c????????????????????k???????????????????????????????????????????????????????c?????????????????????????????????r?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????a????????????????????????????????????????????????????????c?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????k?????????????????????????????????c????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????r?????????????????????????????a???????????????????????c?????????????????????????????????k?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????


    I turned my head.


    "..........Ah¡­ Aaaah¡­"


    "......Ari, s?"


    Now, I really.


    Couldn''t hold on any longer.


    "¡ªNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 72: Filled with Kindness.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 72 ¡µ Chapter 72. Filled with Kindness.


    * * *


    **


    Without looking back, I ran.


    I didn''t know where I was going, what I was running from, or even what I was so afraid of, but still, I ran.


    Because my mind was filled with a single thought, the thought that I had to escape from this place.


    ¡ªThump, thump!


    "No....!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤!!!!!"


    "Alice!? S-Saelli! I''ll leave the guards to you! Okay?"


    "¡ªWait?! Y-You!?"


    I ran.


    Even as I heard someone desperately calling out my name from behind.


    Screaming my lungs out in a voice I had never made before.


    Even as I tumble pathetically on the grimy, snow-covered street.


    Even as I felt the wind catch my hood, flapping, and then finally giving way, falling back.


    "NOOOOOOOOOO©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤!!!"


    I dodged the hands reaching out to grab me, darting away with lightning speed.


    Legs, run.


    Run faster, faster.


    Even if my muscles melt away, even if my cartilage completely wears down to nothing.


    You can devour everything I have. So please, please take me to a place where there''s no one else.


    Save me.


    "Haa, haa."


    I ran through the winding alleys, my body swaying.


    I sprinted through the narrow passage that¡¯s barely wide enough for two people to walk side by side, without even looking ahead.


    Naturally, I bumped into a few people passing by, but even the quick apology I would normally utter reflexively felt like an obstacle holding me back, so I couldn''t say it.


    And so I kept running, my feet slipping on the patches of ice hidden beneath the snow.


    I bumped into someone who had been walking wobbly with their hands in their sleeves, and we both tumbled to the ground.


    And that¡ª


    ¡ªThud!


    "¡ªUgh!?"


    "......!"


    Was no exception for a woman in a green robe passing by.


    Ignoring the woman who had fallen backward from the sudden impact, I quickly got up, using the stump of my severed arm to push myself off the ground and my other hand''s nails frantically scraping against the rough wall.


    Drip, drip.


    Was it tears streaming down my cheeks, falling onto the snow.


    Or drops of blood flowing from my fingertips, pulled by gravity.


    If not that, maybe it¡¯s the last shred of my sanity.


    The blood-red trail that followed me on the white snow, it knew the answer.


    "...Ah...Aaah...."


    I continued my aimless escape, forcing my unresponsive legs to move.


    Like a sheep being chased by a wolf, trembling in fear.


    I ran, and ran, and ran.


    "...Huh!? Wh-Who''s is it?"


    "¡ªAh! I''m sorryyyyy?!! We''re in a bit of a hurry right now!! I''ll make it up to you laterrrr!!! Now, excuse us!"


    "¡­!! H-Hey, wait!! H-Han!!"


    My head hurts.


    It felt like someone was rummaging through my brain, I clutched my head with one hand.


    Even if my senses were lost, even if my hearing and sight were the only senses functioning properly in my body, this unpleasant sensation of my brain being squeezed and this foreign feeling that felt like something was crawling all over my body wouldn''t disappear, tormenting me.


    I desperately endured the urge to vomit, and I ran towards the bright light at the end of the alley, the point where it connected to the main street.


    At the end of my escape, the end I had arrived at.


    "¡­Haa, haa."


    My eyes instinctively tried to close at the sudden brightness.


    The light reflected off the pure white snow felt like it was burning my eyes.


    In my eyes, blurred with tears and barely able to see properly, I took in the sight of the wide road where people and carriages were moving in droves.


    It was a sight that resembled a giant wave.


    "¡ªAh."


    I stopped and slowly walked towards its center.


    A hunting dog that has finished its hunt loses its purpose.


    And if that dog is one that can no longer even guard the house due to its age or injuries, it''s even more so.


    No matter how great its past achievements might have been, what awaits an old dog is not a comfortable bed or an abundance of food.


    Its end is nothing but a lonely death in the cold snow, amidst constant mistreatment and abuse.


    The paradise that the old dog had dreamed of didn''t exist.


    The dog, in the end, was a pitiful creature that could only succumb to its fate.


    "........."


    Everything I had done so far was an act of atonement.


    A form of self-punishment, a promise to myself that I would never commit the same sin again.


    Even though I hadn''t consciously stolen anything as abstract and unquantifiable as ''happiness'' from others.


    But I had definitely stolen something concrete that was related to happiness, like a good school, good friends, material wealth, a warm family, a high position that gave a sense of superiority, and achievements.


    They blamed me for that.


    And I, I simply accepted those words.


    That''s how my atonement began.


    Sometimes I became a passerby who helped others out of goodwill, sometimes a teacher who taught others.


    Sometimes I became a parent, and sometimes I became a child born from the heart to pitiful parents.


    As a friend, as a colleague.


    As a superior, as a subordinate.


    Those who would have been trapped at the bottom, in the darkest depths where light doesn''t reach.


    Those who would have grown up weak and frail, tossed and turned by the blowing wind and flowing filth.


    So that they could blossom fully, so that they could feel proud of their achievements born from their own lives and efforts.


    And...so that they could be happy.


    The ending to that story of dedication would be my death, the death of a person who didn''t want to become a burden to them.


    To close my eyes, listening to their lamentations and wails as they faced my fading life, their fleeting despair, and their final words as they rose again using that despair as nourishment.


    I had deceived myself, telling myself that their actions, their confirmation of my existence, were the greatest happiness I could experience.


    Yes.


    That was my only worth.


    My only reason for existing.


    Remi Akaia.


    Anna Akaia.


    That''s why there was no reason for me to exist by their side, now that they were complete.


    In the end.


    I had become a useless being. S§×ar?h the n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Step, step.


    One step at a time, I walked forward.


    "¡ªHuh? Who is that child over there?"


    "¡­H-Hik!? W-Wait! That child''s hand is completely covered in blood!! Wh-where did she come from?"


    "........."


    It''s not that I didn''t feel happiness.


    I, too, had felt like I was floating on air, happy to be beside those who cherished me.


    I, too, wanted to live together by their side.


    I, too, was a human.


    Even though it was only for a fleeting moment.


    Even though I knew that enjoying happiness would only make my sins heavier.


    I ate up that undeserved reward, justifying it with the excuse that it was all to help them grow.


    Love was both a medicine and a poison for me.


    So, perhaps, all of this was an inevitable outcome.


    Step, step.


    I looked up at the sky once, then lowered my head to the ground.


    "¡­Uh, uh? Wh-where is that child walking to¡­?"


    "¡ªHey!! Stop her! Stop that child! Don''t let that child go over there!!"


    "Eh? Wh-What did you say!?"


    "........."


    But now, even that flimsy excuse had vanished.


    When they, who were now complete, appeared before me, those whom I could no longer offer any help.


    I, who wanted to live by their side and experience happiness, definitely existed here.


    I, who didn''t even repent for my sin of daring to crave happiness.


    I, who had simply ignored the difference between atoning for my sins and being punished for them.


    I, who believed that once I was punished, all my sins would be washed away.


    Really, I came face to face with the fact that I am, a shameless piece of trash.


    A hollow laugh escaped my lips.


    A meaningless laugh, intended to comfort others, with no heart behind it.


    "Hee, hee."


    They say the most meaningless death in the world is a car accident.


    Come to think of it, I''ve never experienced one even once in all my ¡®life¡¯.


    Yes.


    It''s true.


    Isn''t that the most fitting death for me, more than anything else.


    "Get out of the way!! Get out of my way!!"


    "Li-Little girl! Get out of there!!"


    Crkkk! The sight of the coachman roughly pulling the horse''s reins, trying somehow to stop the carriage, caught my eye.


    But the carriage had already picked up speed, and with the street crowded with people, changing course was impossible.


    It would be nearly impossible for him not to hit me.


    Suicide is a courageous act, a confession that your life had no value.


    It would be a bolt from the blue for him who¡¯s probably living hard trying to raise a family, and I even regretted not just quietly drowning myself in a river and waiting for death instead of causing trouble for someone else.


    Really, really, I''m sorry but.


    Right now, I just wanted to clear this muddled head of mine.


    And quietly, rest.


    "It''s already, too late."


    "Waaaaaah!? Little girl over there!! Mo-Move!! If you don''t want to die, move out of the way!!"


    The heavily loaded carriage charging towards me at high speed.


    Two horses boasting large bodies and weight.


    To meet a gruesome death, crushed beneath them, my body unrecognizable.


    I threw myself¡ª


    ¡ªGrab!


    "¡ªSAAAAAFE!!"


    "...!!"


    A sudden impact.


    My body rolled on the side of the road, held in someone''s arms.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 73: Adult Child.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 73 ¡µ Chapter 73. Adult Child.


    * * *


    **


    Clatter, clatter, the clatter of wheels echoed on the unpaved road as the carriage approached.


    The street was filled with the deafening screams of onlookers and the shouts of the coachman.


    Everyone waved their hands and shouted for her to get out of the way, to move, but not a single one actually stepped forward to help.


    When Alice stopped in front of the heavy carriage that was charging towards her, as if welcoming death, my legs moved faster than they ever had.


    What pushed me forward wasn''t my legs.


    It wasn''t my legs, strengthened from constant training, nor was it the absurd and unbelievable reality that Alice might die.


    It was Alice''s smile, sad and pained, as if she was saying:


    It¡¯s okay to be at ease now.


    It¡¯s okay to let go of everything now.


    I''m sorry, for everything.


    "...Hee, hee."


    "AAHHHHHHHHHH©¤©¤!!!"


    I screamed.


    My body creaked from the exertion, muscles and joints screaming in protest as I pushed myself beyond my limits.


    But what did those aches and pain even matter.


    When Alice was making that kind of expression.


    When Alice must be enduring even greater pain than this.


    The pain of my bones breaking and my blood vessels bursting was nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to the pain in my heart right now.


    I ran, and I ran, and I ran.


    In that moment, the birds flying in the air stopped.


    A wallet someone had dropped froze in midair.


    A time of warmth and connection that felt like breastfeeding(??), a time of cold and harsh reality of endless time like ice(?).


    (TL Note: Literally translates to breastfeeding, what the f)


    It felt like I was swimming alone underwater.


    And within that, I reached out to the bluebird before me¡ª


    "¡ªSAAAAFE!!"


    "...!!"


    I barely managed to grab hold of Alice.


    **


    "¡­Thank goodness."


    "........"


    Really, really, thank goodness.


    I carefully embraced Alice in my arms, her body limp as if she had fainted from the shock.


    The bandages that Saelli had wrapped around her wounds had come undone.


    And her delicate, pretty fingernails were broken and missing in places, as if she had been desperately scratching something, with the surrounding area covered in bleeding wounds.


    Falling down, bumping into things.


    And still, the child who tried with all her might to escape from that place.


    The child who had endured everything with a smile, no matter how difficult.


    The child, who was unusually mature and composed for her age, had shown a vulnerability so heavy that


    It almost led to a terrible ending.


    We always wished that the child would be a little more selfish.


    That if there was something she wanted to do, we hoped she wouldn''t hesitate to do it.


    We were prepared to fulfill any wish Alice wanted, whether it was throwing a tantrum, acting like a spoiled brat, or even making some absurd demand.


    So that she could live brightly as a child should, without any worries.


    That was the role of us adults, that''s what Saelli and I thought, to ensure such a natural thing.


    But.


    I swear to the heavens, we never wished for Alice to make this kind of choice.


    "...."


    In a way, it was only natural.


    There''s no one in the world who doesn''t feel anger or rage.


    There are only those who can keep it bottled up for a long time.


    Just because someone is always composed and calm doesn''t mean they can bear a lot of burdens.


    Just because someone doesn''t say anything doesn''t mean they are truly okay.


    They were just enduring it all.


    And we had been judging them based on our own subjective standards.


    And that was true for Alice as well.


    Swish.


    I gently stroked Alice''s soft hair.


    "...."


    "..?..??..."


    Twitch, twitch.


    Seeing Alice¡¯s body tremble slightly with every stroke of my hand through her hair, my heart was consumed by an indescribable sadness.


    I wonder what she''s so afraid of, even in her dreams.


    Her body was covered in blue bruises visible through the tears in her clothes, and the raw wounds where skin had been scraped away were so numerous I could barely touch her.


    Why, won''t the world leave this child alone?


    It was at this moment that I understood Saelli''s feelings, how she had desperately cried out to Remi Akaia and this unfair world.


    I let out a small sigh.


    "...Now then, what should we do now?"


    Thud, an innocent pine cone lying on the road flew far away after being hit by my foot.


    We had somehow managed to extinguish the massive wildfire that had been threatening to devour the forest, but there were still many problems that remained.


    And those remaining problems were like a towering mountain.


    First of all, what to do now was a problem.


    Considering Alice''s condition and her mental health, the right choice would be to forget everything else and rush straight to the hospital while carrying her like this.


    If not that, at the very least, I should take her to Remi Akaia''s dormitory and leave her there, since there''s no one there right now.


    But I couldn''t just do that.


    Because I had to get back to that street where they were confronting each other as soon as possible.


    ".....Nngh."


    The last thing I saw before I chased after the fleeing Alice.


    It was Remi Akaia drawing her sword and charging forward while spewing all sorts of curses, and.


    Saelli, who had given me a smile that contained to the brim with murderous intent, while holding back two men who looked like guards.


    Of course, considering Saelli''s true nature, it was safe to say that neither Remi Akaia nor she would die or get seriously injured.


    But this was the middle of a busy street where many people were walking around.


    Saelli, unable to recklessly reveal her true nature, was essentially handicapped and unable to use her abilities.


    And for her in such a state to quickly defeat those highly skilled warriors who seemed far stronger than someone like me, and the additional guards who were appearing one after another¡­ Honestly, While I couldn''t imagine a scenario where she would lose, I was still worried.


    And I was also worried about Remi Akaia, who had given in to her anger.


    Considering who her opponent was.


    Yes.


    If that fight continued, whether it was the opponent or the two people I knew¡ª


    ¡ªSomeone might actually die.


    And if that happened, Alice would blame herself again.


    Meaning something like this could happen again.


    "¡ª...©¤,©¤."


    "....Meaning something like this could happen again."


    A difficult dilemma where I had to choose between two options.


    But both of them were traps.


    If I left Alice, who had been so distraught that she had thrown herself in front of a moving carriage, alone in the hospital or the dormitory without a guardian, there was no telling what she might do once she regained consciousness and panicked.


    The reason I was able to save Alice just now was purely because of luck.


    If I had been even one second late.


    If the distance between me and Alice had been just a little bit longer.


    ''¡­Ah¡­ Aaaah¡­!!!''


    ''............''


    By now, I would be on my knees with a hopeless expression on my face.


    "¡­Haa."


    When I saw the child, my most precious friend, my family, the person I cared about more than anyone else, throwing herself towards death.


    When I realized that I had failed to noticed Alice''s mental state, how she had been pushed to the edge, to the point where she would impulsively think about giving up on the rest of her life.


    The despair and misery I had felt then,


    I never wanted to feel them again.


    Even if it meant that I, and everyone else, had to die.


    I can''t let that happen. S§×ar?h the N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    ¡ªNever.


    So in the end, this was the only option left.


    "..I''m sorry, Alice."


    ".....?,?."


    This time, I promise I won''t let you get hurt.


    I swear on everything I have.


    So, Alice.


    Will you trust me and let me care for you?


    First, I quickly treated her wounds.


    "Hey! You, you there! Don''t look away! You, with the red hair! If that''s you, come here!"


    "Y-Yes!? M-Me!?"


    I grabbed a passerby and had them get fetch me medicine and bandages. I quickly disinfected Alice''s wounds and covered them.


    My entire fortune was spent on the expensive medicine, but who the hell cares.


    I couldn''t help but wince as I applied the medicine to her torn skin and the countless bruises, but at least none of her bones were broken or fractured. That was a small comfort to me.


    Because if there were, I would have to completely change my plan.


    ¡ªWhisk!


    "...This was it, right?"


    I spread out a large piece of cloth and wrapped Alice''s body in it as if I were swaddling a baby.


    I had to go through a few trials and errors due to the urgency of the situation and my limited knowledge, but I was eventually able to secure Alice''s body firmly to my back.


    I draped the remaining cloth over my shoulders like a cloak to hide the child so that no one from the outside could see her.


    And so that she couldn''t see the outside, either.


    They say that when whales fight, the shrimp''s back gets broken.


    If it only gets broken, then I¡¯ll be grateful.


    (TL Note: Another Korean proverb, ¡°?? ??? ?? ? ???.¡± means that when powerful people fight, it''s the weak who suffer the consequences.)


    "The shrimp is going to get crushed, completely pulverized."


    ".....?,?."


    One step at a time.


    Feeling Alice''s small trembling breaths against my back.


    I moved forward with heavier steps than ever before toward the middle of the street, where they must be fighting.


    Having made the biggest gamble of my life.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 74: End of War.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 74 ¡µ Chapter 74. End of War.


    * * *


    **


    Steel clashes against steel, and nameless battle cries echo through the air.


    This place was, without a doubt, worthy of being called a battlefield.


    ".....Wow."


    Whee, I whistled softly.


    It wasn''t because It was entertaining to watch or enjoying the sight, of course not.


    Rather, it was just an expression of bewilderment, a release of emotions after giving up on everything.


    A bitter laugh had escaped without my notice.


    Clang, clang. Sharp metallic sounds ring out.


    The clear sounds reflecting off the alley walls and buildings brought me a tingling unease.


    But as I approached my destination, the street I had been heading towards gradually came into view, and I could see the intense fight taking place in the distance.


    I stopped in my tracks, my eyes fixated on that hellish scene.


    "........"


    They say that a tragedy seen from afar is a comedy, but a comedy seen up close is a tragedy.


    It was a scene that fit that saying perfectly, a sight so captivating that I couldn''t help but let out a gasp of admiration.


    There was just one problem, however.


    The fact that I had to go there.


    Holy, my life is a goddamn tragedy, not a comedy after all.


    Hngg.


    Right now, I wanted nothing more than to grab them by the collar, those people who were fighting so fiercely, and ask them if they knew that they were in the middle of the Akard Empire''s capital.


    Well, I wasn''t one to talk, having caused a scene in the Museion myself, but there''s a limit to everything.


    I had at least expected them to go somewhere secluded to fight.


    Who would have thought they''d be having an all-out brawl right out in the open where everyone could see.


    Personally, I was hoping the imperial patrol units who were currently hiding somewhere, watching the situation in the distance, would intervene and stop the fight, but it seemed like that was too much to ask.


    Unfortunately, they were content just watching from afar.


    Since the people involved in the fight were who they were, they probably couldn''t easily intervene for fear of diplomatic incidents.


    But why did the actual parties involved seem unconcerned about it.


    The fact that I, an outsider, was the one most concerned about this situation.


    How ironic.


    Anyway, the patrol units probably figured out who these people were from talking with the guards nearby.


    And in this world that valued honor above all else, duels were relatively common and even encouraged to a certain extent.


    They might be reprimanded for causing a disturbance on a public street, but the fight itself wasn''t something to make a big deal out of.


    So they were sticking to just observing, unless an actual incident occurred.


    Well.


    That wasn''t a welcome fact for me at all.


    ©¤©¤CLANG!!


    "You, with that audacity!"


    "....Remi!"


    Remi Akaia, shouting something as she clashed swords with the attacker.


    The attacker barely manages to deflect Remi Akaia''s sword strikes coming from all directions by twisting their blade.


    And behind them, I could see a few guards standing awkwardly, their swords not even properly drawn.


    They probably couldn''t dare to point their swords at their lord.


    No matter how skilled they might be, they probably weren''t confident they could stop the two¡¯s fierce fight without causing any harm.


    Or maybe they were ordered not to intervene.


    It''s always it¡¯s the underlings who suffer¡­


    The higher-ups don''t understand their struggles¡­


    Either way, thanks to that, the two of them were able to continue their fight.


    And beside the fighting women¡ª


    "....I thought I told you that I would be your opponent."


    "Hah¡­! Get out of the way¡­!!"


    Thud, thud.


    There stood Saelli with a somewhat heavy expression, dealing with the guards.


    She had already knocked down more than half of the guards, she was asserting her presence while casually dusting off her hands and feet.


    While some guards tried to use their numerical advantage against her, others were trying to slip past her and head towards the alley where Alice and I had run into, but it was all for naught in front of her watchful eyes.


    ¡ªSqueeze.


    "What?!"


    "Didn''t I tell you not to try to pass through here?"


    A cloud of dust rose and a loud crack.


    The man who tried to pass by her side had his ankle grabbed and was made to forcefully kiss the ground, without any loss of momentum.


    She just looked at them with an indifferent expression, not even flinching as countless blades were pointed at her.


    If they had engaged in a war of attrition or had the support of archers, it might have been different, but the guards were too caught up in their urgency to quickly get past her and chase after us.


    The tide of the battle was clearly in her favor.


    It was a scene that unfolded as expected.


    But if there was one thing where my thoughts had been wrong¡ª


    ¡ªClang, clack!


    "....You...Youuu¡­!!"


    "...."


    Remi Akaia''s sword was slowly being pushed back.


    From an objective viewpoint, the difference in their skills didn''t seem that significant.


    Of course, looking at the weight and speed behind their swords you could argue that Remi Akaia held a slight advantage, but she was fighting with her body fueled by anger swinging her sword like that.


    Thanks to that, all her critical attacks missed, and instead she was exposing fatal openings to her opponent.


    If her opponent had taken advantage of those glaringly obvious openings earlier.


    She would have been lying on the ground by now.


    Even a light cut could have easily inflicted wounds severe enough to immobilize her for a while.


    And even a single strike to her vital points with the hilt would have been enough to bring her down in pain.


    But my prediction.


    Was completely off the mark, as proved by the fact that Remi Akaia''s body remained unharmed without a single scratch


    ¡ªSLASH!!


    "Answer me!!!"


    "¡­.Ugh."


    "¡ªPrincess!"


    And rather, it was the attacker who had several wounds carved into their body. S§×arch* The N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    A few drops of blood flying through the air.


    The attacker''s hood completely fell back, and beautiful silver hair fluttered in the wind.


    My eyes were drawn entirely to this attacker, feeling a strange sense of familiarity with that color, as if I''d seen it somewhere before.


    That question was quickly answered.


    The answer was right behind me.


    Right.


    It was Alice''s color.


    "........"


    Although her yellowish tint eyes resembled Remi Akaia''s more than Alice¡¯s.


    Her features, her hair, her eyes, her skin.


    And above all, the aura that surrounded her.


    All of it was so identical to the Alice''s appearance I had always known.


    I wondered if this was how Alice would look when she grew older.


    ''....Re, mi?''


    ''¡­Ah?''


    Back when we were shopping together peacefully, I had turned around when I heard someone calling out Remi Akaia''s name.


    Even though I had never met her before, I had immediately recognized her just by looking at her face.


    She was the spitting image of Alice.


    Yes.


    She was none other than the First Princess and Crown Princess of the current Tesillia Kingdom.


    The one who had stabbed her younger sister multiple times with a sword, and in the end pushed her off a cliff.


    "...This is getting beyond ridiculous, seriously."


    It was Anna Akaia.


    **


    I should have been furious.


    Even if not anger, I should have naturally felt disgust thinking about what she had done.


    In fact, until recently, I had harbored such strong hostility toward Anna Akaia that I would shudder at just hearing the ''An¡¯ of her name, even though I haven¡¯t met her personally back then.


    And when Saelli''s words were further confirmed by Remi Akaia''s testimony, my anger had known no bounds.


    Because what she had done was an act that couldn''t be justified by any reason.


    So why.


    Was it because of her appearance that resembled Alice.


    Was it because of her sad eyes that seemed to speak of regret for everything.


    Toward her, I.


    Ended up feeling a small inkling of sympathy.


    Step, step.


    "¡ªEveryone, stop."


    Before I knew it, I was slowly walking towards them.


    "¡­Hey!? What are you doing here!?"


    "¡­You!"


    Saelli and Remi Akaia¡¯s gazes pierced me, as if reprimanding me for returning to this place, but I ignored them.


    I had my own reasons too, okay.


    You didn''t see Alice throwing herself in front of a moving carriage.


    There was no way I could leave the child anywhere alone.


    And you two, if I hadn''t intervened, someone would have died, wouldn''t they?


    The urge to explain everything to them bubbled up inside me, but right now, stopping the fight unfolding before me was more urgent than clearing up misunderstandings.


    I pointed my thumb behind me and muttered softly.


    "The child¡¯s sleeping, you know?"


    ".......Eh?"


    Everyone stared at me blankly.


    At their expressions that look to be asking what the hell I was talking about, I brought my index finger to my lips and gave them a ''be quiet'' gesture.


    What do you mean, what nonsense?


    I meant that Alice is inside the bulging cloth on my back, of course.


    A moment of silence.


    Saelli and Remi Akaia, who quickly snapped out of their daze, naturally went into an uproar asking why I had brought the child here, and the guards who had been trying to chase after me to find out the truth were also confused by the fact that I, their target, had walked here on my own.


    But among them all, the sharpest was.


    "........"


    Anna Akaia''s gaze as she stared intently at me.


    An outpouring of emotions so mixed they were beyond understanding, like sticky mud.


    While trying to avoid that, I opened my mouth.


    "Let''s talk this out, with words."


    "........."


    It would have been better if she had been the unreasonable person I had imagined.


    A cruel human being who had committed unspeakable atrocities with her own hands.


    A human being who had obtained all the power, wealth, and everything else she had desired and coveted.


    Then why, why was she showing that sadness, that guilt.


    That dissonance, that inexplicable gap.


    Made me want to hear her story, just once.


    "First clear the street, then everyone follow me."


    Well, let''s start by cleaning up the surroundings first.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 75: Quarrel.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 75 ¡µ Chapter 75. Quarrel.


    * * *


    **


    ¡ªSwish.


    ¡°¡­Then, I¡¯ll take my leave."


    Saelli bowed politely and left for the next room, carrying the sleeping Alice in her arms.


    I had expected her to explode in anger, saying she couldn''t even breathe the same air as ''Anna Akaia'', but her unexpectedly calm and polite demeanor surprised me.


    My surprise was doubled because I had thought that if there was anyone who would shatter this precarious ice, it would be her.


    ¡°¡­..You!?¡±


    "........"


    However, at that moment when Saelli turned her head to enter the room.


    From the side, I could see her trembling eyes, and I could feel it.


    Like a fire that had been forcefully extinguished.


    Those red eyes that should have been blazing with fury were now just ashes of a tree that had burned itself out.


    Was it a feeling of self-hatred?


    Or perhaps, a feeling of disgust towards her own kind?


    As the only one who knew her past, I could understand Saelli''s heart.


    It was a small fragment of her heart.


    If it weren¡¯t for Saelli, Alice would have died alone in that cold winter river.


    While it was Saelli who saved Alice, it was also Saelli who had bitten off Alice''s arm.


    The fact that she had done a good deed couldn''t erase the fact that she had also committed evil.


    And the fact that she had saved someone couldn''t be used as her free pass.


    The only two people who could forgive and absolve her of her sins were Alice and Saelli herself.


    But that''s why Saelli had to live with that guilt, forever.


    Because she knew that the day she forgave herself would never come.


    Truly.


    How pitiful.


    "¡­Ah, alright then."


    "¡­.Take care.¡±


    Knowing the weight of that fragment, I could only nod my head.


    Personally, I had hoped she would stay by my side since she was the person I was closest to.


    But Saelli seemed to be struggling too, so it couldn''t be helped.


    Moreover, after hearing that Alice had thrown herself in front of a carriage, she had been trembling uncontrollably and considering Alice¡¯s state when she wakes up, it was probably for the best to have Saelli be with her.


    It would be good for both of their emotional well-being.


    I hoped that she would find some peace for the time being, patting Alice''s head in her room.


    "¡­Huu."


    Now then, guess it¡¯s my turn to deal with the problem.


    Thump, thump!


    "¡ªI won''t accept it! Why are you bringing that woman into my dorm room!! Are you out of your mind!?"


    "........."


    I think I¡­ need to find some peace and quiet too.


    But the problem plaguing my mind is so far from being solved that I''m not even ready to pick up the pen to address it yet.


    A towering mountain peak with no end in sight.


    Before me was a scene where two people, no, one person was glaring at the other with eyes as if looking at their parents'' murderer.


    "........."


    One person with bandages hastily wrapped around her wounds, silently looking down at the floor with her head bowed.


    The perpetrator, the one who had caused this situation, Anna Akaia.


    "Get out right now! I said get out!!"


    And the other, Remi Akaia, who was venting her frustration by stomping on the floor.


    If I hadn''t separated them, the fight from earlier might have started again, that''s how intense the tension was.


    Come to think of it, the one who had gone berserk when I said I would let Anna Akaia into the room wasn''t Saelli, but Remi Akaia, who was related to Anna Akaia by blood.


    It was an understandable reaction, as she was the one who had directly witnessed Anna Akaia stabbing Alice right before her eyes more closely than anyone else.


    I raised both hands in a calming gesture and slowly tried to speak to her¡ª


    "Now, now, calm down, Remi Akaia. Let''s first try to talk¡ª"


    "¡ªShut up!!"


    I got scolded.


    And boy, did I get scolded hard.


    "What''s there to talk about with this woman! Didn''t you see? The wounds on Alice''s stomach?!"


    "..........."


    "Stabbed and stabbed and stabbed..... She stabbed her so many times! Right before my eyes, she just, like that! And what? Talk¡ª?"


    Slowly, she rose from her seat.


    In the dimly lit room where sunlight barely filtered through the curtains, a pair of sinister eyes shimmered.


    What kind of monster lurked within those eyes that hold a blazing inferno.


    I could feel the murderous intent radiating from her even though she wasn''t holding a sword, and I was certain that their relationship could never return to what it was before.


    Like soybean flour that''s sprinkled around rice cakes because they don''t stick together well.


    Just like that metaphor, it was a perfect example of a completely broken family.


    ¡ªBang!


    "There''s nothing to talk about, nothing."


    "..........."


    Her fist slammed against the wall. sea??h th§× ¦Çov§×lFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    I was about to scold her, saying that Alice might wake up from the noise and vibrations, but I shut my mouth when I felt the murderous aura directed at me.


    I can kill you even without a sword.


    My fist, my nails, my fangs, will be directed at you.


    As if saying that, Remi Akaia declared that her and Anna Akaia''s story had ended two years ago, the moment Anna had stabbed Alice and thrown her into the flowing river.


    It was essentially her own way of threatening me, telling me not to bring up the topic of her sister again.


    Indeed.


    "Uwaah...."


    "........"


    Faced with such strong opposition, I really couldn''t say anything either way.


    And Anna Akaia, who had been keeping her head bowed without saying a word, didn''t seem like she would be of any help.


    I understood how she felt too.


    Honestly, if the previous me had suddenly been told, ''Do you want to have a one-on-one conversation with Anna Akaia, the one who put Alice in that state?'' I would have punched that person rather than praising them.


    I, too, had once resented Anna Akaia after hearing Saelli''s story.


    And in my mind, I had chewed her to pieces, even though I didn''t even know what she looked like.


    Rather, I was surprised that I was even able to remain composed in this situation.


    Instead of anger, I felt a strange sense of worry.


    Instead of hatred, I felt a strange sense of pity.


    Lost in a turmoil of those contradictory emotions rising from within my heart.


    A voice I had never heard before reached my ears.


    "¡ªAris."


    "¡­.?!"


    Anna Akaia, who had been silent until now, continued speaking, ignoring my surprise.


    Slowly, in a trembling voice.


    "Aris¡­is she¡­alive?"


    ¡°¡­You?! You bitch?! How dare you say Aris''s name!? You, of all people? Are you even human?!"


    "He¡­ hey¡­!! Calm down, calm down!!"


    The first thing she asked about was Alice''s well-being and nothing else.


    At her words, her voice breaking here and there as if choked with emotion, Remi Akaia''s voice rose again.


    I tried to restrain Remi Akaia as she screamed that Anna didn''t deserve to say Aris''s name, that if she uttered another word with that filthy mouth, she would kill her.


    "...Uh, um¡­ She''s alive."


    "Ah¡­ Aaah¡­"


    Drip, drip, I heard a strange sound.


    It was definitely the sound of something colliding with the wooden floor.


    The floor was slowly getting wet, forming a small puddle.


    At that sound, I couldn''t accept the reality before my eyes.


    That''s because the ''Anna Akaia'' we had imagined was the purest embodiment of evil incarnate.


    The one who, blinded by jealousy, had tried to kill her talented younger sister.


    A heinous criminal who indiscriminately stabbed her own sister in an attempt to murder her.


    That must have been why Remi Akaia wanted to get Anna Akaia away from Alice''s side as quickly as possible.


    Because she didn''t know what that woman might do if she found out her sister was alive.


    A cold-blooded, insane psychopath.


    That was the image I had of her, which could hardly be expressed even with those modifiers.


    But, what is this?


    Was this really the ''Anna Akaia'' that I knew?


    "¡­..Really¡­really¡­"


    ¡ªDrip.


    What was flowing down her face as she lifted her head was undeniably a stream of tears.


    While her eyes were streaming with tears, her lips were curved into the most beautiful smile.


    It was the first time I had seen Anna Akaia, who had always been either expressionless or consumed by guilt, smile, and I couldn''t bring myself to finish what I was about to say.


    About how Alice was when she was first found, what kind of injuries she had.


    About how Alice had lived for the past two years.


    And about how just moments ago she had tried to commit suicide after hearing your voice.


    There were so many things I wanted to blame her for.


    "I''m so glad¡­"


    ".........."


    "Really, I''m so, so glad¡­"


    But that bright smile.


    That radiant smile, as if she had been saved, a smile devoid of any darkness.


    It overlapped with the image of Alice, smiling brightly at me in the past.


    "¡­.Damn it."


    I understood why I had felt that way towards her.


    **


    "¡ªYou think I''m going back?"


    Anna Akaia''s sudden visit.


    The reason, she says, is to ask if Remi Akaia has any intention of returning to the Tesillia Kingdom.


    She explains that it had been a temporary measure, a chance for Remi Akaia to study abroad and get away from the kingdom, for her mental well-being after she had been devastated by Alice''s disappearance. And in the first place, the agreement between the empire and the kingdoms didn''t apply to members of the royal family, so there was no reason for her to be bound to this place.


    For the record, it took a whole thirty minutes to hear that explanation.


    Thirty minutes of holding back Remi Akaia who was about to run out, of stopping Anna Akaia who kept trying to go to the corner to bang her head against it, of trying to process every single sentence.


    But despite all that effort, the answer was a cold, one-line ''rejection''.


    I understand, but isn¡¯t that a little too harsh?


    "I won''t go back to a place where you are. And neither will Aris. You just stay there and disappear."


    "...Hey, she''s still your older sister¡ª"


    "¡ªI''ll rip your tongue out if you say another word."


    Hngg, I shrunk back.


    Come to think of it, Remi Akaia is still a member of a royal family after all.


    I had become so accustomed to her naive and foolish behavior after meeting Alice that I had forgotten her status as royalty.


    Faced with Remi Akaia''s charisma as a princess, which she hadn''t shown in a long time, I could only shrink back and lower my head.


    I thought she was just like me, after seeing her get pushed around by Tessa.


    Of course, it must have been a lie, but it felt real enough in that moment.


    "Tch, maybe I should just quickly have you beheaded for treason... so that Aris and I can be alone together."


    ¡­You¡¯re joking, right?


    You have to be, yeah. We''re friends after all.


    And so, time passed, each second feeling like an hour.


    Thinking surely a lot of time must have passed by now, I looked up at the clock to see it showing 1 PM.


    "¡ªAnyway, get rid of that bitch quick."


    "..........."


    Today was still very long.


    I despaired.


    "Hngg."


    What more can I do here...


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 76: Back to Heaven

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 76 ¡µ Chapter 76. Back to Heaven


    (TL Note: In Korean, the title is ¡®??¡¯ or ¡®Noble and Lowly¡¯ which is the name of the poem made by Cheon Sang-byeong, the English name of the poem is ¡®Back to Heaven¡¯)


    * * *


    **


    It was a day of heavy snowfall.


    Between the dark gray clouds, pure white feathers untouched by even a speck of dirt danced through the air.


    The first snow of the year.


    Feeling that chilling coldness, I headed towards the entrance of the Museion, where Remi was said to be staying.


    My footsteps dragged along the ground, stumbling forward.


    They were terribly dull and slow.


    ¡ªStep, step.


    "¡ªI said only two people should follow me."


    ".....I apologize."


    "No. It''s my own oversight, really."


    As I walked, I spoke to the two guards beside me.


    I didn''t want to unnecessarily provoke Remi, so I had told them I wanted to minimize the number of guards following me.


    Now that we were in the imperial capital, there wouldn''t be any direct threats to my safety.


    Moreover, having an unnecessarily large entourage would only make everyone, including Remi, uncomfortable.


    I had originally planned to go alone, but I had even made a concession and set a limit of two people, considering them.


    But I never imagined they would disobey my orders and secretly follow me like this.


    Their faces showed clear traces of worry and regret.


    Yes.


    For them, who valued honor and loyalty above all else, they must feel a great sense of guilt for not respecting my wishes.


    But the most important value, my safety, had forced them to make this difficult decision.


    Remi, the victim of my actions.


    I had told them it was okay, but they must be worried that my sister would charge at me with her sword drawn again, just like before.


    Or perhaps they were trying to prevent me from giving in to my despair and offering my own neck to Remi.


    Whatever the reason.


    All of this was merely an extension of the consequences of my actions.


    And it was all my fault, my incompetence that had caused it all, that much remained unchanged.


    Therefore¡ª


    "¡ªLet''s go."


    ""Yes, ma''am.""


    I had no right to punish them.


    Rather, it was my fault for making them worry and causing them trouble.


    As always.


    ¡ªSwooooosh.


    The falling snow, instead of subsiding, only intensified as time passed.


    The snow, which had started as small flakes, was now swirling like a horse''s mane.


    On the streets, children were running around, gathering snow and forming snowballs, while shopkeepers were starting to set up awnings in front of their stores.


    And the servants, their faces indifferent, as if unconcerned by the falling snow, were hurrying along with their arms full of coal.


    Amidst the countless people, not a single one stood still.


    What drives them, what do they live for.


    Will the day ever come when I can understand the hearts of these people, who live their lives day by day, seeking a balance between joy and boredom.


    ".....Huu."


    As I walked down the street, which showed no signs of brightening up even though the sun had long since risen, I started mentally preparing myself for what I would say to Remi.


    How she had been doing all this time.


    If she was hurt or sick anywhere.


    That our whole family was worried about her.


    I carefully rehearsed these words in my mind, things I would never actually be able to say when face to face with Remi.


    Meticulously, like forming a snowball with wet snow.


    But that carefully crafted snowballs would never reach Remi.


    ''Why.....Why.....!!''


    ''..........''


    ''Aris...Aris...Why, did you kill¡­ her...What did she¡­!! What did she do wrong!!!''


    The image of Remi cursing at me, demanding with what face I dare to appear before her, screaming at me to never show my face to her again, was so vivid that it felt like I was watching it right in front of me.


    A dark shadow of dread was cast upon my lips, that could neither cry nor laugh, at the thought of the gloomy future that awaited me. S§×arch* The n?vel_Fire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Even so, I continued walking forward, alongside the people around me.


    Even if all that awaited me at the end of this path was a cruel future.


    A condemned prisoner heading to the gallows isn''t allowed to stop walking.


    "It''s cold."


    Let¡¯s go, quickly.


    Tinkle, tinkle, the sound of a small bell echoed through the shopping district.


    With that sound as my background music, my footsteps on the snow-covered streets quickened slightly with each chime of the bell.


    Every time I heard a jingle from somewhere.


    Tap, tap, I took two steps forward.


    "C-crown Princess!?"


    "........."


    Ignoring the guard''s surprised voice, I didn''t slow down.


    No matter how fast I ran, it was impossible to avoid the snow falling from the sky.


    Rather, the more I tried, the more rapidly the weight of snow accumulated on my shoulders.


    But the futile escape continued, where there was no pursuer anywhere, only someone running away.


    Where am I walking to.


    Where am I running away from.


    "....Ah."


    Right.


    It was the Museion.


    I was going to see Remi.


    When my footsteps, which had been heading towards my destination, turned into awkward steps, as if running away from something.


    When new snow started to fall and accumulate on the wet patches where the previous snow had melted and soaked into the ground, eventually covering the entire street in a blanket of white.


    My footsteps finally returned to their normal pace.


    And at the same time, the sounds around me, which had been muted, started to come back.


    And then¡ª


    ["...! Aris, thank you!! Hehe!"]


    [".......Yeah."]


    I heard a familiar voice, coming from up ahead.


    **


    At first, I thought I had misheard.


    That I had simply mistaken someone else''s voice for hers, their voices similar.


    If not that, then it must be my mind, still not fully recovered, playing tricks on me, creating auditory hallucinations.


    Even now, whenever I closed my eyes, memories from before would often vividly resurface, their sounds crystal clear.


    Cruel memories of Aris and Remi playing pranks in the flower garden, of Aris running to throw herself into my arms as I sat quietly reading a book in the distance.


    The bright and cheerful voice of Remi from the past, a voice I could never hear again.


    The refreshing laughter of Aris, a sound I had buried with my own hands.


    I thought that those precious memories from the past were resurfacing to torment me again.


    Yes.


    I thought that way.


    "....Kuh, keheuk! Keu, ha....Haak..!"


    "¡­Aris!? Why, what''s wrong!?"


    "¡­Ah?"


    But, it wasn''t.


    The sound grew louder as I drew closer to its source.


    Aris''s voice that I haven¡¯t heard for a long time, gasping and struggling as if choking.


    The guard walking beside me muttering speculation that the voice we''re hearing must be Remi''s.


    And then in the distance, I could see Remi¡¯s figure becoming visible, and beside her a small figure clutching her clothes, trembling.


    That figure, I couldn''t help but think it was someone I knew.


    Someone who shouldn''t possibly be here.


    With a trembling voice, I called out.


    "..........Ah... Aaah..."


    "......Ari, s?"


    A small call.


    At my faltering call, the eyes of everyone there focused on me.


    Among them was Remi, staring at me with a look of horror, as if she had seen something she shouldn''t have.


    And beside Remi, two women with black hair were also looking at me with equally shocked expressions.


    But despite their gazes directed at me, my eyes were solely focused on the one child standing there.


    A small, child.


    "...Ah?"


    There was no mistaking it.


    There was no way I wouldn''t recognize her.


    Even though her appearance had changed a lot.


    Even though she had grown so much in these two years, to the point where I almost didn''t recognize her.


    Silver hair, peeking out from beneath the black hood, flowing like waves, unable to be contained.


    And as she slowly turned her head towards me, deep, clear, blue-green eyes, like the forest and the sea blended together, met mine.


    Aris Akaia.


    My little sister, Aris, who was supposed to be dead.


    Faced with the impossible reality of her standing right before my eyes, I couldn''t even speak, I just stood there, frozen in the same walking pose.


    How is this, even possible.


    Why is Aris with Remi?


    The facts that had been so clear began to crumble at the evidence that had been presented before my eyes.


    My thoughts spun, like a long worm, entering through my ears and rummaging through my brain, wringing it out.


    I stared at that figure as if entranced, forgetting even to breathe.


    But was that the problem.


    Because I thought this changed reality could bury the past that had already passed.


    But the things I had done remained unchanged.


    "¡­I¡­don''t want¡­"


    Slowly, Aris''s small lips parted as she looked at me.


    And as I watched, I vividly remembered what I had done to the child, how I had been consumed by a hideous jealousy.


    The sticky sensation that had lingered on my fingertips.


    The horrifying feeling of repeatedly piercing her soft flesh again and again with a sharp blade.


    The murderer was reunited with the person she had killed.


    Then, where is this place.


    It must be.


    Without a doubt, hell.


    "¡ªNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 77: Soap Bubbles.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 77 ¡µ Chapter 77. Soap Bubbles


    * * *


    **


    In my hazy, wavering consciousness, the vaguely visible truth only seemed to drift further and further away as it screamed.


    The scene before my eyes was too fleeting and sweet to be reality, yet too miserable and bitter to be a dream.


    Was it a truly existing entity.


    Or merely a false illusion conjured by my memories.


    ["¡ªNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"£Ý


    Without even a moment to confirm the truth, Aris¡¯s figure darted away from me.


    Like a soap bubble that could burst at the slightest touch, I knew I shouldn''t, yet I unconsciously reached out to¡ª


    ¡ªSlash.


    Along with a chilling sound, the only thing that met my hand was a miserable reality.


    "¡ªYou...who are you..."


    "........."


    For a moment, I couldn''t understand what had happened.


    I only felt an intense heat surging through my arm.


    My pristine white robe, now stained crimson around the torn fabric, slowly started to spread, like a blooming flower.


    As if a red flower was gracefully unfurling its petals under the sunlight, using the flowing blood as nourishment, the stain on my robe grew larger and larger.


    ¡ªThump, thump.


    ".........."


    My head spun.


    My pounding pulse quickened its beat, gradually intensifying, until finally, it became a single instrument dominating my ears.


    At that stinging, burning pain, I absent-mindedly looked down, forgetting even to withdraw my arm.


    Drip, drip.


    Blood trickled down my fingertips, falling to the ground.


    On the snow-covered road, a red rain fell.


    "¡ªWhy you¡­! Why are you here in front of me again, I''m asking you¡ª!!!"


    "....Ah."


    A small sigh escaped.


    That lament which had cut through the air between us, whose sigh was it really.


    Remi¡¯s sword, without a sound, without any hesitation, lunged straight towards me, as I was forced to face the reality I wanted to deny. sea??h th§× N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    That sharp attack, aimed at me as I stared blankly at my arm, carried enough force to easily take my life.


    Perhaps.


    "¡ªHAAAAAAAAAAH!?"


    ©¤©¤©¤CLAAANG!!!


    If someone hadn''t intervened.


    Remi''s attack, fueled by all her might, was blocked only by the scabbard of the guard who had jumped between us with a scream, and barely managed to stop right in front of me.


    Sparks flew as the swords clashed, and Remi''s blade struggling against the guard''s writhed like a snake, as if trying to devour me.


    On the blade of Remi''s sword, I could see a fresh, red liquid that hadn''t yet dried, and I finally understood the source of the pain I had been feeling.


    And I also realized that the sigh I had heard had come from me.


    "Crown Princess!? Are you alright? Princess Remi! Even if you are a Princess¡ª"


    "¡ªSo what!? What are you going to do about it!? What¡­ are you¡­ going to¡­ do!!!"


    "....!?"


    ¡ªTHUD.


    With a somewhat dull sound, the guard was thrown back a good distance away.


    As my eyes slowly followed the guard''s figure, flying through the air in a gentle arc, I saw Remi''s eyes, sharp as a hawk''s, fixated on me as if she had found her target.


    The tip of her weapon raised high, demanding my neck, held not a shred of hesitation, only the single-minded determination to kill me.


    I simply watched the whole scene unfold.


    The surreal sound of steel cutting through the air.


    Remi''s scream, like a reprimand directed at me.


    Even the urgent cries of the guards around me.


    In that chorus of all those sounds¡ª


    "....Ah."


    Yes.


    Remi had cut my arm.


    Finally, a small sense of reality seemed to be setting in for the first time.


    **


    Would this be how it feels if every piece of flesh on my body was torn away.


    The heavy snowfall that seemed like it would never end had finally ceased, and the sun, which had hidden itself behind the clouds, was starting to reveal its face, but.


    I was still trapped in a bottomless abyss.


    ".........."


    It hurt, so much.


    My heart ached, as if being torn apart.


    Every time Remi''s contemptuous gaze, like she was looking at something disgusting, swept over me.


    Every time the image of Aris screaming and running away from the sight of me suddenly appeared in a corner of my mind.


    That stinging pain, like pouring salt on an open wound, kept washing over me, like relentless waves crashing against the shore.


    They say that waves, as they approach the shore, gradually reveal their towering heights, which they had hidden beneath the surface.


    Even the heaviest rocks or sharpest spires are no different from mere pebbles before waves that sweep away everything.


    This suffocating, agonizing feeling that seemed to be eating away at my soul, like mocking me, only grew stronger and stronger like a rising tide, no matter how much good medicine I applied to my exposed flesh or how tightly I bandaged my wounds.


    Only when that pain completely engulfed me, burning through my entire body, did I finally realize.


    That this pain, incurable by any means, stemmed from within my own heart.


    Yes, an illness.


    One that easily leads people to death.


    A truly fatal, incurable illness.


    "¡ªLet go¡­.of me!! That bastard needs to die, I have to kill her!!!"


    "¡ªHey, are you crazy!? Just wait a minute!! Alice is sleeping in the next room!!"


    "......."


    Riiiip, Remi¡¯s clothes stretched taut, screaming in protest.


    If I reached out, I might be able to touch that spot. There, Remi has her sword aimed at me, not caring about ripping her clothes, and a woman desperately pulling on Remi''s clothes to restrain her, stood.


    A mercenary who had introduced herself as Han Sia.


    For her, who had only gotten involved in someone else''s family matters, she must be feeling quite unhappy about the current situation.


    I¡¯m deeply sorry for dragging everyone into this mess.


    "Let gooooo!! I''ll kill that bastard and then go see Aris!!!"


    "This crazy princess!? Aish! Why is she so strong!? Hey, you! Go somewhere! Don''t just stand there looking pathetic, go somewhere!!"


    "......."


    Her words were a little rough, weren¡¯t they.


    That woman, with a self-deprecating smile, was holding Remi by the neck with a surprisingly skillful grip, maintaining a delicate balance.


    Though her attitude might seem disrespectful towards royalty, it''s said that the words and actions of wise ministers taste as bitter as poison while those of sycophants taste as sweet as honey.


    That kindness embedded in those actions would surely become a great source of strength for Remi in the future.


    Remi must also understand that on some level. That''s why she''s only trying to push the woman away rather than swinging her sword or using violence.


    A friend who would steadfastly advise about the future without wavering at her side.


    Just having such a treasure by her side showed the value of the past two years Remi had spent.


    Unlike me, who had simply been swept along.


    We were fundamentally different.


    "¡ªForgiveness? Ha, I can never forgive her! You know too¡­ you know everything¡­!! Then why, why are you trying to stop me!!"


    "¡­Oh my god, this is driving me insane!"


    Remi continued glaring at me with eyes full of hatred, even as she struggled to free herself from the mercenary''s grasp.


    Remi, who was once praised as the kingdom''s most promising talent, a brilliant and intelligent individual destined to lead the kingdom.


    The palace officials, the teachers who taught Remi, the maids who attended to her, all had sung praises of Remi''s beauty in unison.


    But now, under the faint light filtering through the red curtains, Remi''s eyes had lost their original brightness and were stained completely red.


    Those eyes, burning red with hatred as fuel, felt like the fires of hell, waiting to consume me in their flames.


    ".........."


    I simply kept my head bowed, waiting anxiously for the time of judgment to come, like a condemned prisoner offering their neck.


    Huu, and.


    The small breath I inhaled was filled with a metallic scent.


    ".....I''m sorry."


    I apologized.


    Even though I knew my small voice wouldn''t reach Remi who was shouting, I still muttered the words.


    Though an apology, aimless and without a target, was no different from an insincere response.


    Even though I knew my immature attitude would only fuel my sister''s anger.


    Even though I knew that the reason I could still be alive now was all thanks to the woman who is presumably Remi''s friend.


    Despite all that, I couldn''t help but lower my head.


    Because I had a reason, a reason I couldn''t back down from, even if it meant risking my life.


    I didn''t think I could ever return to the past when we all laughed together, as if nothing had ever happened.


    Nor did it mean I wanted to let go of the weight of the world that had been placed upon me because of my mistake.


    Just, one word.


    I wanted to convey just one word - sorry.


    And so, some time passed¡ª


    ©¤©¤©¤Creeeak.


    An eerie sound reached my ears.


    The unpleasant sound of unlubricated metal grinding against each other.


    Strangely enough, that sound alone was crystal clear amidst the chaos filling the living room.


    ¡ªCreeak¡­!


    ".......Ah."


    "¡­See, that¡¯s why I told you."


    Even Remi and the mercenary, who had been wrestling with each other, stopped their actions and held their breaths.


    My head, following the source of the sound, slowly turned towards the door which had been closed just moments ago, now revealing a small gap.


    And in that darkness.


    "......."


    "....Aris."


    A pair of eyes like brilliantly shining jewels.


    Were quietly staring straight at me.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 78: Aesops Fables.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 78 ¡µ Chapter 78. Aesop''s Fables.


    * * *


    ((


    There''s an afterword. (TL Note: Spoiler, there wasn¡¯t¡­ Or at least no shown author afterword in the raw, or maybe it isn¡¯t an ¡®author¡¯ one.)


    ))


    ***


    "¡ªAlice, are you awake?"


    "........."


    A sigh.


    An indescribably creepy breath brushed against my ear as I lay quietly in bed.


    A rustling, uncomfortable sensation, as if a small insect had crawled into my ear and was moving around.


    It took me a moment to realize that it was Elli''s voice.


    Elli had noticed the slight disruption in my previously steady, rhythmic breathing while sleeping, and thinking I was awake, she had called out to me.


    Asking if I had slept well.


    If I had any nightmares.


    The careful, polite way of waking me. A question I''d heard countless times over the past two years.


    If it were the usual me, I would have rubbed my sleepy eyes, gotten up, and wrapped my arms around Elli''s body to answer her.


    Telling her that she had appeared in my dream today, so it wasn''t scary at all, and Elli replying that I had also appeared in her dream, we would have talked about that interesting coincidence of having dreamed about each other.


    And on days when I was especially sleepy, I would have pleaded with her to let me sleep just a little longer, using my cute charms until she finally relented, and Elli would have gently stroked my head until I woke up on my own.


    Small joys of everyday life. S§×arch* The N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    But.


    But for the current me, it was too much to ask.


    I was struggling just to suppress the something welling up inside me, let alone respond to Elli''s words.


    "........."


    It''s noisy.


    I said, it¡¯s noisy.


    Everyone, shut up.


    Elli''s voice, which used to sound clear and beautiful, like a bird''s song.


    But now her voice reaching my ears felt somehow awkward, like the static from a broken cassette tape.


    No, it wasn''t just Elli''s voice.


    [''Let gooooo!! I''ll kill that bastard and then go see Aris!!!'']


    [''This crazy princess!? Aish! Why is she so strong!? Hey, you! Go somewhere! Don''t just stand there looking pathetic, go somewhere!!'']


    The sound of Remi and Sia arguing, seemingly coming through the walls.


    The rattling of the window panes, shaking in the wind.


    Even the gurgling of water flowing through the pipes from upstairs to downstairs, all of it.


    Sounded like a grating, unpleasant noise.


    ¡ªThump!


    "....I don''t want to..."


    "¡ªAh."


    I pulled the blanket over my head.


    Because I didn''t want to face this cruel reality, and because I couldn''t believe that I was still alive.


    I squeezed my eyes shut, covered my ears, and burrowed deep into the suffocating warmth of the blanket.


    Neither Elli''s gaze that I could feel watching me, nor my reputation that would fall into the abyss because of this, held any meaning for me.


    Because what remained for me already no longer existed.


    But.


    Even with the blanket pulled over my head.


    "Why....! Why...!"


    "....Yes. I''m here."


    Even as I desperately tried to cover my ears with my one remaining hand.


    The bright sunlight streaming through the window pierced through the blanket, through my eyelids, and struck my retinas.


    And the sounds around me, as if mocking my feeble attempts to block them out, easily penetrated my hands and rummaged through my brain.


    Even when I tried to hold my breath and strangle myself with my hand, my trembling fingers couldn''t even do that, and the noise entering my now defenseless ears only intensified.


    In the end, I had to admit that even the eternally joyful song of the canary would eventually come to an end.


    No.


    ".....Alice?"


    Was it me who was broken from the start?


    Today, my ears went deaf.


    In the distant past, a time I couldn''t even remember, or in the memories that felt as vivid as yesterday, I received only an inorganic touch that couldn''t feel warm.


    Even before that, I had lost the ability to smell the sweet fragrance of flowers. And in the eternity that seemed to stretch on forever, I must have lost something else.


    Losing, and losing more.


    What will the world take away from me tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow?


    What else will I be robbed of.


    Tick-tock, the hands of the clock hanging on the wall, pointing to three o''clock, moved relentlessly.


    If I pulled out those hands, or broke the clockwork that moved them, I might be able to stop the clock right in front of me.


    But that doesn''t mean I could stop this moment.


    No matter how tightly I clasped my hands together to scoop up water from the sea, the water in my hands couldn''t exist forever.


    And the small, unavoidable gaps between my fingers would sadly let the water trickle back down.


    Drip, drip, the droplets would eventually fall.


    To live a day, is to die a day.


    Even in this moment that I''m alive, I was slowly dying.


    Yes.


    Really, that''s exactly it.


    "....My chest... hurts, Big Sis Elli¡­ It hurts so much."


    "....Is that so."


    The loud commotion from the other room, two people''s voices raised high, showed no signs of subsiding.


    When I removed the blanket that had completely enveloped me, the intense sunlight asserted its presence even though my eyes were closed.


    The sunlight, bathing my entire body, seemed to be berating me, reminding me that I hadn''t died, and I felt resentful towards it.


    ¡ªSwish.


    "......"


    Looking at Elli, whose face seemed ready to burst into tears at any moment, I slowly got up from my bed.


    What should I do now, as I stand on this fragile ice sheet that''s slowly melting away in the warm sunlight, singing of its demise.


    When this ice melts away, all that awaits me is the inevitable fate of sinking into the depths of the deep sea, where even light can''t reach.


    And all I could do in those crashing waves of fate was to desperately cling to something, anything within reach.


    Even though I knew, better than anyone, that it wouldn''t save me.


    Even though I knew that the ending I would face would be nothing but being surrounded by sharks in the blue sea, my bones the only thing that remained.


    The only thing I could do.


    The only rebellion and resistance I could offer.


    Was to repeat that meaningless act again and again.


    I said,


    "...I, I want to go outside."


    "..........."


    Even the greatest empire that ruled the world couldn''t last a thousand years.


    And even a play that seems like it will go on forever will eventually come to an end, the curtain falling.


    Let''s go outside.


    Let''s go outside, tear out my heart, and burn my soul.


    To put an end to this wretched life.


    ¡ªCrunch¡­.!!


    "I want to go outside and see Anna."


    "....I understand."


    Like a drowning person hopelessly grasping at straws, I tightly clutched something, anything within reach.


    And the innocent blanket, caught in my grip, could only crumple helplessly without any resistance.


    Were those wrinkles, my final words.


    **


    This one and that one, every single one of them, I found them all displeasing.


    That scoundrel who suddenly appeared before me and Aris as we were enjoying our reunion after so long, claiming that she had been protecting Aris all this time, and declaring that I had no right to take her.


    And that scumbag over there, who should have just died a quiet death somewhere if she wanted to atone for her sins so badly, shamelessly appearing before Aris, the victim, and saying she wanted to apologize.


    They were all just selfishly clinging to their own desires and hopes, wrapping them in sweet words like ''for Aris''s sake''.


    What makes them think they''re so great that they can try to come between me and Aris


    Really.


    I didn''t like it, not one bit.


    "....Aris."


    "...Anna."


    The door opened with just enough space for two fingers to fit through.


    Creeeak, the pathetic sound of the door opening filled the living room.


    But surely, it was just the sound of unlubricated hinges grinding against each other. Then why did it sound like Aris was crying out in pain.


    As if Aris was saying, it hurts.


    That she couldn''t hold on anymore©¤


    "¡ªBIG SIIIIIIIIIIIISSS!!"


    "....! A-Aris!?"


    No.


    That''s just how it sounded to me.


    "....I missed you...!!"


    "....Ah, no..Aris¡­don''t come to me...."


    Aris didn''t slow down, but ran straight towards Anna and threw herself into her arms.


    A soft thud echoed through the living room, silencing Anna Akaia''s cry.


    It was a sight that would make anyone watching let out a small gasp.


    "...! Ah!"


    ".......!"


    At Aris''s actions, which could be called hasty, that Sia girl who was holding me back and the woman watching Aris from inside the room were fidgeting their bodies around.


    And I, seeing their half-hearted reactions, let out a small sigh.


    But Aris, oblivious to their gazes, only sought to be held by the woman who had tried to kill her.


    Anna, trembling and at a loss for what to do, tried to push Aris away, but Aris only burrowed deeper into her embrace the more Anna tried to push her away.


    Deeper.


    And even deeper.


    Like a lost child clinging to their parent after being reunited.


    Rubbing her cheek against Anna¡¯s chest, burying her face in her arms.


    Aris was finally able to fully enjoy the embrace of her beloved big sister, the one she had missed so much, the only person she remembered even when she had once lost all her memories


    ¡ªSqueeze¡­!


    "I''ve¡­missed you¡­so much¡­!"


    "....Ah... Aaah...!"


    But, just as everyone was breathing sighs of relief at this seemingly happy scene.


    My eyes were focused on the small gap between Anna''s chest and Aris''s face, a gap that no one else seemed to notice.


    "........"


    And as I saw the blue-green eyes shimmering within that gap, I was certain.


    That the only person here who could truly understand Aris and make her happy was none other than me.


    "...I see."


    More painfully than anything else.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 79: Invitation.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 79 ¡µ Chapter 79. Invitation


    * * *


    **


    Like a candle flickering in the wind.


    Or, like a sand castle built on top of the sand.


    The precarious confrontation, which seemed like it would erupt into a bloody battle at any moment, ended with Alice opening the door, running to Anna Akaia, and embracing her.


    To approach and tightly embrace the person who had tried to kill her.


    To break the endless chain of hatred, a chain that would only lead to a dark end.


    That was something only Alice, with her kind and gentle heart, could do.


    Well, even so.


    "¡ªI thought she would at least throw a tantrum or two. Don''t you agree?"


    "....Alice is kind, after all."


    Thinking about the child who had to bear the pain alone, it wasn''t exactly a comforting thought.


    Just because someone is kind doesn''t mean they don''t feel pain.


    Whether it was the shock of regaining her memories, or something else, I couldn¡¯t say for sure, but how agonizing must it have been for the child, who was so distraught that she threw herself in front of a moving carriage just from seeing her older sister''s face, to make that decision.


    Twelve years old.


    I was once also that age back then in my past life and also in this life, and having seen children of that age, it was all the more¡­


    ¡­Unimaginable.


    I stretched casually and continued speaking.


    "Ugh¡­ Ahh! I hope she learns to think about herself more than others like me, later when she gets older."


    "Did you, perhaps, eat something bad?"


    "...Seriously!"


    I was only trying to be considerate and start a conversation.


    I glared at Saelli, who was standing beside me, gloomily enjoying the fresh air.


    "........"


    Oblivious to the fact that she had ruined the mood, she just rested her chin on her hand, her unfocused eyes gazing up at the sky.


    Saelli.


    She had been listless ever since Alice regained her lost memories and was reunited with her family.


    Even when we all gathered for meals, watching Alice slowly regain her energy after her initial depression.


    "......."


    She just watched Alice quietly from a distance.


    Taking a step back.


    Wheeee¡ª a somewhat dry, refreshing winter wind blew across the veranda where we were standing.


    Someone''s hair, perhaps mine, or hers, tickled my cheek as it fluttered in the wind.


    Beside me.


    Within that black hair, dancing in the wind like a crow''s feathers, a pair of unwavering red eyes were fixated on the clouds floating in the sky. What was she looking at.


    Though I knew what she was feeling.


    Though I understood her feelings better than anyone.


    "¡ªIt¡¯s completely winter now."


    "...It is, indeed."


    I simply maintained my usual nonchalant attitude, uttering meaningless words.


    Because I knew that unnecessary worry and comfort would only make her uncomfortable.


    Because I knew that sometimes a moment of silence was more valuable than a hundred words.


    I pretended not to notice Saelli''s feelings and treated her normally.


    Thinking about it¡­ how should I put it.


    It felt like raising a cat that I didn''t particularly care for but was subtly concerned about.


    A cat that eats people, that is.


    I wonder if any shelter would accept a cat like this.


    "By the way, I didn''t expect you to just let Alice go like that."


    "..........."


    Saelli didn''t answer.


    Drip, drip, tears falling to the ground.


    I had trusted those tears, that transparent display of emotion, and decided not to chase Anna Akaia away, but when Alice ran straight towards her without a shred of caution, my heart had sunk.


    Because there was still a possibility, however slight, that her shed tears were crocodile tears, merely an act before devouring prey.


    If it had been an act, it would have been really chilling.


    Looking back now, without considering the current situation, allowing Alice and Anna Akaia to meet face-to-face was a gamble.


    That''s why, even though I was the one who had allowed it, I didn''t expect Saelli to just stand there and watch as Alice went out to meet her.


    I thought she would stop Alice from leaving, or at least stay by her side.


    Well.


    It all worked out in the end, so shouldn''t I be grateful for that.


    ¡ªBang, bang!


    "Ah, seriously! If you''re done here, just go back already!!"


    ".....Here, Aris. Say ah~"


    "Ah~"


    I''m trying to believe that.


    "Princess Remi! Please be quiet!"


    "Aack!?"


    The second princess of a certain kingdom was throwing a tantrum, demanding that Anna leave immediately, banging her fists on the desk.


    But she was quickly subdued by the librarian who came running after hearing the commotion, armed with a thick encyclopedia.


    Let''s just gloss over the identity of the woman rolling around pathetically on the floor, clutching her head in pain, for the sake of her privacy.


    ¡ªThud!


    "Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaah¡ª!!"


    "....Good grief. They''re really going at it."


    The princess was diligently cleaning the floor with her clothes today as well.


    Rolling around and around.


    Honestly, seeing that sight, rather than saying the situation had been resolved, it was more like a torn hole had been hastily patched up with a piece of cloth.


    It looked like a bus precariously balanced on the edge of a cliff, barely maintaining its center of gravity.


    Still, it was better than the chilling atmosphere that had filled the air before.


    If we had to call it something, it was progress.


    "....Huu."


    I turned my head back and looked at the scene before my eyes again. S§×ar?h the n?velFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Fortunately, the one I had been most worried about, Saelli, didn¡¯t seem to mind that Alice was now clinging to Anna Akaia like glue.


    Rather, she seemed to be cheering for Alice''s new beginning.


    Like a parent celebrating their child''s independence, she was watching Alice''s every move with affectionate eyes.


    Perhaps Saelli would stay by Alice''s side for the rest of her life, as long as Alice allowed it.


    That image, naturally formed in my mind.


    "...Uuu. Why is everyone so mean to me¡­"


    "Just be patient, Princess Remi. Didn''t we agree that you would go play with Aris in the flower garden the day after tomorrow?"


    "...Hmph."


    "What''s with the ''hmph''."


    Even Remi Akaia, who had treated Anna Akaia like her sworn enemy, had to reluctantly lower her banner in the face of her little sister''s pouty displays, threatening to get angry if they continued to fight.


    Though sparks still flew occasionally, it wasn¡¯t like before when she would draw her sword in earnest, so she must have sorted out her feelings to some extent.


    The past doesn''t disappear, it only gets painted over.


    She must have finally realized that the future they would paint together was more important than dwelling on the faded past.


    Seeing them like that, I couldn''t help but think that this was a rather anticlimactic ending, considering the efforts of those who had been desperately trying to prevent Anna Akaia from learning anything about Alice, if I may say so myself.


    It felt like all that effort had been for nothing.


    Really, we had worked ourselves up for nothing.


    "Uuuu¡­! Ah, Tessa! Can''t you at least try hitting that fox over there with that encyclopedia!!"


    "....I believe assaulting a member of the royal family would be considered treason."


    "Tessa, even you (Et tu, Tessa)!?"


    (TL Note: It¡¯s a famous Latin phrase of Julius Caesar, the original phrase was "Et tu, Brute?".)


    "......."


    Meanwhile.


    Our hot potato, Anna Akaia, had started visiting Alice constantly ever since that day.


    They say that once a monk knows the taste of meat, there won''t be any bedbugs left in the temple, she had become completely addicted to playing with Alice.


    (TL Note: The proverb is used to describe someone who, once exposed to something pleasurable or forbidden, indulges in it excessively.)


    ¡­Though, I wonder if it¡¯s appropriate to compare Alice to meat, but let¡¯s just move on.


    I heard that the Crown Princess of Tesillia was a woman so cold-blooded that even if you stabbed her, not a single drop of blood would flow.


    "........"


    "........"


    But seeing them now, embracing each other tightly without a word.


    It felt like I would be the one covered in blood if I tried to poke her, the blood gushing out like an explosion.


    With a ¡®Boom¡¯, like that.


    She had briefly scribbled a few lines in her letter about Remi Akaia''s well-being, her original purpose for coming here, and the very next day, she barged into my dorm, luggage in tow.


    I wasn''t sure what I was looking at that time.


    I opened the door because someone was knocking, and there she was, someone I had seen before, standing right there.


    It felt like a medieval-style hidden camera prank.


    Sneaking in while watching Remi Akaia and Saelli''s reactions, like a mouse, and offer food to Alice. That spirit and boldness were really astonishing.


    Indeed.


    It seemed like shamelessness was a default setting for princesses.


    Hey, this is my room, not yours.


    It was only natural for Remi Akaia, who hadn''t yet resolved her resentment towards her older sister despite Alice forgiving her, to fly into a rage.


    And of course, she would snarl at Anna Akaia every time she visited, demanding that she leave.


    But when Alice, her eyes welling up, would start following Anna Akaia like a chick chasing its mother as she tried to leave the room, Remi would cling to Anna¡¯s legs, begging for forgiveness and showing a truly pathetic display.


    Seeing that, I would let out another sigh.


    Seriously, this is my room.


    Now, two weeks after that incident, the precariously balanced pendulum had yet to tip in either direction, maintaining an uneasy equilibrium.


    But when the slowly burning candle finally reveals its wick.


    When the bus precariously balanced on the edge of a cliff finally begins to tilt downwards.


    Perhaps, we would face a sudden change, a choice.


    Me, Alice, Saelli, all of us¡ª


    ¡ªAbout how we should live from now on.


    "....Huu."


    And that choice.


    I don''t know why, but I had a feeling.


    That it would be an extremely important choice that would change the direction of my life.


    **


    I''m not happy. I''m not happy, I said.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 80: Ashes.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 80 ¡µ Chapter 80. Ashes


    * * *


    **


    ¡ªNudge, nudge.


    "Sis Sia, let''s hurry!"


    "Even if you don''t rush me, I''m not going anywhere. Alice."


    "Heehee. Okay!"


    Perhaps it was because of the light sleet that had fallen yesterday.


    The weather wasn''t so sunny that the harsh sunlight was waiting, nor was it so cloudy that it was dark and gloomy.


    A perfect balance of clouds and sunlight, the kind of sky I loved the most.


    Under that soft, fluffy sky, I slowly stepped out the door, guided by the small hand leading me


    Tap, tap, matching my body''s rhythm to the sound of footsteps.


    Worried that my clumsy gait might bump into that delicate body if I didn''t match the steps.


    Each step I took was filled with the utmost caution.


    And, behind me.


    ¡ªCrack!


    "Ugh¡­! You¡­ Han Sia¡­!!"


    "Have a nice time, Princess Aris~"


    "Seriously, why are you blaming me for this..."


    I felt a burning gaze directed at the back of my head as I was about to leave.


    I had a rough idea who it was, but the persistent stinging sensation made me reluctantly turn around. And sure enough, there was Remi Akaia, glaring at me with jealous eyes.


    Next to her was Tessa, who had come to the entrance to see Alice off, waving her hand in our direction.


    I smiled wryly, stroked Alice''s head once, and waved back at them.


    Are you jealous?


    ¡ª....!!


    But apparently, even that displeased her.


    "...Let go of me, Tessa. This is a royal order. I can''t let this stand."


    "...I serve Tesillia."


    Grab, and a groan.


    They were seeing Alice off, but their bodies were shaking strangely.


    Considering Tessa''s arm and the faint sounds of struggle coming from behind them, I couldn¡¯t even begin to imagine how intense the battle unfolding behind them must be.


    Tessa, you''re working hard.


    I''ll buy you something delicious later.


    Something cheap, though.


    ¡ªCrack!!


    "I want to go toooooooooo!!"


    "...Good grief."


    With a loud noise and the sound of something breaking.


    From my perspective, I could clearly see sawdust, which looked like wood shavings, fall from Remi Akaia''s hand.


    As if threatening to do the same to me, she pointed at me and then at the sawdust, and then drew her thumb across her neck.


    Seeing that universally understood body language, I silently prayed that I would live to see tomorrow''s sunlight.


    How many times have I offered this kind of prayer now.


    Well, still.


    "I''ll be back, Big Sis Remi!"


    "O-Okay! Have a good time, Aris!"


    Alice had her wrapped around her little finger.


    The moment Alice turned around and shouted that she''d return, Remi Akaia''s previous expression vanished completely, replaced by the saintly smile of a doting older sister.


    No matter how precious her little sister is to her.


    This princess really discriminates too much.


    Why was she taking out her frustration on me just because she and Alice couldn''t go to the flower garden yesterday due to the rain.


    At that inexplicable injustice, I shook my head.


    Really, this is too much.


    Exactly forty-eight hours from now.


    In other words, two days ago.


    In the dormitory where I was staying, there was someone named Remi Akaia who had been very excited since the day before, thinking about going to the flower garden with her little sister after a long time.


    But what awaited her wasn¡¯t a happy and joyful time with her little sister, but unfortunately, a gathering of dark clouds.


    Before long, the sky turned so dark that not even stars could be seen.


    And so, the next morning arrived.


    In other words, yesterday.


    The ominous premonition came true, as sleet suddenly began to fall from the morning, it is said.


    With that kind of weather, what else could be done.


    Forget about a flower garden visit, the weather was telling them to stay inside and mope around. Her plan to take Alice to the flower garden was rejected with one vote in favor, one abstention, and two votes against.


    Thump, thump, thump. Three strikes of the gavel.


    ''Nooooooooooo¡ª!!! I want to go play with Ariiiiiiiiiis!!!!''


    ''...It''s okay, Big Sis Remi. We can go next time.''


    The perfect realization of democracy in the dark ages.


    Hmm, by the way.


    ''...It feels like the roles of child and adult have been reversed, am I the only one who feels this way?''


    ''I also feel somewhat that way.''


    I¡¯ll leave it to your imagination as to who voted for what.


    If I had to give a hint, let''s just say that someone shamelessly tried to attack the person who abstained out of guilt and couldn''t bring themselves to vote against her, a truly ungrateful act.


    Votes should be anonymous in principle, after all.


    That''s what democracy is all about.


    Well, anyway.


    How many people had been mobilized to stop Remi, who, pointing at the overcast sky, had insisted it was perfect weather for going out, claiming that the shade was good.


    How much effort had been spent to subdue her tantrum as she insisted she could still go and tried to take Alice to the flower garden, it took a whole hour.


    She had been clinging to the door, refusing to budge until Alice, unable to watch any longer, patted her head and soothed her.


    And then, the very next day, today.


    ''Whyyyyyyyyy¡ª!?''


    ''....Wow, jackpot.''


    On the morning when it was finally my turn to go out with Alice, the clouds that had covered the sky had miraculously vanished.


    ¡ªTap, tap.


    "Mm~? Hmm, hmm~?"


    "..........."


    After many twists and turns, we finally started our walk.


    Alice was humming, seemingly so happy about finally visiting the flower garden again.


    Since her reunion with Remi Akaia, she had only occasionally viewed it from afar, rarely visiting the flower garden directly, so for Alice, this was almost like her first flower viewing in a month.


    "Heehee. We''re going to see flowers~"


    "...Let''s enjoy it to the fullest today, Alice."


    What is it that she wants to see so badly.


    The child, holding my left hand tightly with her right, her little legs busily moving towards the flower garden.


    Alice, already excited about the place we were about to visit, looked no different from any other child her age.


    Yes.


    She was a child who was happy just to be able to go where she wanted.


    A child who was happier than anything just by going to the place she wanted to go.


    "Hmm~?"


    "......."


    Perhaps because I was focusing on Alice with such dark thoughts.


    It was inevitable that the long piece of cloth fluttering in the wind opposite Alice kept catching my eye.


    "......."


    Swoosh, cutting through the wind.


    Like a windsock dancing in the street, Alice''s empty left sleeve dangled limply. sea??h th§× N??eFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Within that long sleeve, which needed to be rolled up at least seven times to reveal bare skin, a wrist that had been lost because of the person she trusted most, existed in vain.


    On her skin, hidden by her clothes now, cruel scars were etched all over her body, scars that she couldn''t bear to show to others.


    Wounds created by a momentary lapse of judgment, a single wrong choice.


    But that''s why it felt even more bitter and painful.


    A small change.


    If only that had happened, a happy, ordinary life would have been waiting for the child.


    That fluttering sleeve, as if a horrific past contained within those wounds were cursing at the child, saying that the words ''ordinary'' and ''happiness'' could never exist in her future.


    As if an unbreakable shackle was wrapped around the child''s ankle.


    I simply couldn''t take my eyes off Alice''s blurry figure.


    A world where the nonsensical practice of shamanism was rampant, where curses could be cast on strangers and deadly poisons freely created.


    A world where strange monsters were summoned and beasts strong enough to crush steel with bare hands roamed the villages.


    But ironically.


    There wasn''t anything, anything at all, that could make this gentle and kind child happy.


    After what felt like an eternity but was only a few seconds,


    Feeling a slight shift in weight from a sudden stop, Alice and I came to a halt just before the flower garden.


    "Hmm? Is something wrong, Sis Sia?"


    "....Nothing."


    "Uuu¡­! It doesn''t seem like nothing? Really?"


    Did she notice that I was troubled.


    Alice, who had been walking ahead, stopped and looked up at me with worried eyes.


    In those clear, blue-green eyes, filled with pure concern for me, the reflection of a gloomy-faced woman that anyone could tell was ''troubled'' could be seen.


    "........"


    Alice smiled and asked me if something was bothering me.


    That appearance was so calm, it was hard to believe she was the same child who had been screaming and crying just days ago.


    Alice. You''re not really okay, are you?


    Alice. You''re actually in pain but enduring it, aren''t you?


    It was only natural that such thoughts would swell up from within my chest, almost to the point of bursting.


    But in the end, all I could offer were those irresponsible, empty words that anyone could say.


    "It''s nothing."


    "....? Okay, Sis."


    Really.


    Really, it''s nothing.


    Swallowing the words that had come up to the tip of my tongue, I could only mutter that it was nothing, words truly devoid of any meaning.


    "Heehee. I''m excited to see the flower garden."


    "....Me too."


    "I''m really, excited."


    And so, the two of us, hiding our true feelings from each other.


    Slowly entered the flower garden where the flowers were waiting.


    **


    "I have to do it¡­!"


    What can be heard is the sound of sword and stone grinding against each other.


    "To save the one beside that horrific monster, I have to¡­!"


    What can be heard is the sound of someone steeling their weak heart.


    "This is something only I can do¡­!"


    ¡ªClink.


    In the darkness, a cold blade reflecting the faint glow of a small oil lamp.


    And within that killing intent, a head of green hair shook violently.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 81: A foolish answer to a wise question.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 81 ¡µ Chapter 81. A foolish answer to a wise question.


    * * *


    **


    Perhaps to prevent the warmth from escaping.


    As we opened and closed the somewhat stiff greenhouse door, we were met with a stark difference in air, divided by the door as the boundary.


    But that sudden change in air, instead of being unpleasant, only offered me a sense of coziness.


    Inside the transparent greenhouse, where the chilly outside weather was clearly visible, a warm air, as if the cold wind from moments ago was a lie, was gently rising and filling the space.


    ¡ªCreeeak.


    "Ahhhhh, I''m melting.... Finally, I feel alive again."


    "Heehee, we''re inside!"


    Feeling the warm air slowly thawing my frozen skin, I took in the beautiful scenery of the greenhouse.


    Before coming to the Akard Empire and experiencing so many things, I used to think, ''How advanced could the technology and creations of medieval or early modern people really be?'', but it didn''t take long for me to change my mind.


    This greenhouse, for instance, was one such example.


    With its walls and ceiling made entirely of glass, creating a sense of openness, combined with the black frames supporting the structure, it gave off a modern vibe that felt incredibly familiar to me.


    Really, at this moment.


    Even if someone told me I''d gone back to the past, I''d believe them.


    Well.


    Of course, I had never actually been to a luxurious place like a glass greenhouse before.


    Everything I knew about them was from pictures I''d seen.


    Or was it videos?


    I wasn''t particularly interested, but if I had said I wanted to go to a place like this, I would have been too busy crying while listening to my mother say, "You silly girl! Stop being pretentious and go study!" How could I have gone to such a place?


    "...Hmm."


    Anyway.


    The weight of culture and technology, painstakingly accumulated by countless geniuses over hundreds, no, if we were to trace its origins, thousands of years, was far beyond my imagination.


    I think It probably felt even fresher since this is my first time properly entering the greenhouse during the daytime, and for a leisurely purpose like sightseeing.


    Before, I had only briefly glanced at it from the outside, and when I brought Alice here to hide her, my busy schedule hadn''t allowed me the time to properly look around. Sear?h the N??elFir§×.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Lately, thanks to having the Princess''s backing, I had been able to take some time off.


    I wonder what exactly was done to create this flower garden.


    Metallurgy, the furnaces to melt the materials, the refractory materials to withstand the heat, and the other components required to build them.


    And the new technologies needed to create those components, the more I thought about it, the longer the chain of efforts grew, each link connected to the next.


    Made, born, created.


    It all started from a single human hand.


    Within everything I observed closely, the history of mankind was hidden.


    How many trials and errors must the people of the past, who couldn''t even properly start a fire, have gone through to achieve this level of technology?


    Whenever I looked at these things, the embarrassing memory of when I, in my youthful arrogance, tried to create a ballpoint pen using all my knowledge, only to fail miserably and give up, would resurface.


    ''Ta-da! What do you think, Rumi! With this, we''ll be rich!''


    ''Han¡­ what strange thing are you up to today. Just go do the laundry.''


    ''.....So mean.''


    A sudden flashback of that embarrassing memory from the past, one that appeared without warning.


    Perhaps because of the stuffy air inside, or the chilly temperature from outside, my face flushed for no reason.


    Why were these embarrassing memories so vivid and persistent, trying to stick to my brain like unwanted gum, unlike other memories that I could easily forget, always showing up uninvited just when I want to be alone.


    It''s truly a mystery.


    And so.


    Feeling a touch of nostalgia for that embarrassing memory I could never return to, even if I wanted to.


    As I slowly took in the center of the greenhouse, there was a plum tree at its heart, surrounded by purple bleeding hearts in full bloom, and lilacs exuding their refreshing fragrance noticeable from afar, all proudly displaying their presence.


    Besides these, the greenhouse was filled with various flowers that bloomed in spring, like red and pink anemones and hyacinths with their beautiful purple hues.


    The greenhouse''s theme changes periodically.


    It seems this time, the theme was ''spring''.


    ¡ªTap.


    "...Hmm? What''s that over there."


    And a little distance away, there was a patch of bare earth where nothing had been planted.


    The soil was fertile, as if it had been generously sprinkled with plenty of fertilizers.


    Strangely enough, that plot of land didn''t seem like an abandoned spot at all. It looked like seeds would grow on their own if you just tossed them there, yet strangely, nothing that should have been there was present.


    But seeing how the soft soil was maintained, it must be either a place where new flowers would soon be planted, or a space for visitors to experience planting themselves.


    Considering the neatly arranged tools like watering cans and rakes nearby, it seemed like the latter was the correct assumption.


    It must be a space specially prepared for children like Alice, who would want to try planting flowers themselves.


    ¡ªTap, tap!


    "Ah, found it!"


    "...Oh, there are seeds too."


    And this thought was confirmed when I saw Alice run towards the container where the tools were gathered, as if she was familiar with it.


    I wonder if this was Alice''s goal from the beginning.


    Alice, who had only visited the flower garden a few times before meeting Remi Akaia, now seemed to recognize the place and understand its purpose, cutely handling various tools with her one hand.


    Next to her were even seedlings that had already sprouted, ready to be transplanted into the ground.


    It was nothing short of a perfect experience zone for children.


    Tap.


    "¡ªOof!"


    Alice put various tools, including a small shovel, into the basket placed beside her, then slung the basket over her shoulder with her small hand.


    Alice''s actions, which seemed so familiar, didn''t look like the movement of someone who had only done this once or twice.


    Come to think of it, Alice had said that when she was still a princess in the kingdom, she used to enjoy gardening as a hobby.


    Seeing Alice''s unchanging nature, both then and now, perhaps memories reside not in the head, but in the heart.


    I had thought that for a princess gardening was just a hobby for entertainment, but seeing her prepare so diligently, it must have been something she was quite passionate about.


    Well, Alice wouldn''t do anything half-heartedly.


    "Hmm....."


    If someone who didn''t know Alice¡¯s identity saw her now, they would probably think she was the energetic daughter of some farming family.


    That''s how enthusiastic she looked.


    ¡ªCrackle, crackle.


    "Ahhh... so comfortable."


    In one corner of the glass greenhouse, there was a stove to maintain the air temperature.


    I pulled a chair nearby and sat down near that warm space, listening to the mysterious sound of well-split firewood gradually crumbling into the flames, while observing the cute Alice.


    There didn''t seem to be anything particularly dangerous around, and honestly, it didn''t seem appropriate for a woman in her thirties to participate in the child''s own garden that she was creating by hand.


    Although others'' evaluation of me had long since plummeted through the earth''s crust and into the abyss, I still wanted to be treated as a minimal human being.


    Well, I was already beyond repair anyway.


    ¡ªRustle, rustle.


    "Hmm.... This one, and this one..."


    ".........."


    Alice, seemingly having gathered all the tools, went to the area where the flower seeds were displayed and started examining them one by one.


    It seemed that each basket contained different types of seeds.


    The fact that she wasn''t just picking up the already sprouted seedlings meant that she wanted to do everything herself, from start to finish.


    With a serious expression I had never seen before, her lips pressed together, she busily moved her one hand, touching the various seeds, sometimes rolling them around in her palm, and at times spending several minutes staring intently at a single seed with narrowed eyes, completely engrossed in her task.


    Seeds were carefully selected and gathered in Alice''s hand one by one.


    If there was a painting depicting ''happiness and peace'', the scene before my eyes would be it.


    But.


    Something was different.


    ".......Huh?"


    "Heehee~?"


    My face slowly hardened.


    Like the parched earth cracking, fissures began to appear in my expression bit by bit.


    Like a rotting fruit, my face was slowly decaying with each passing moment.


    Denial?


    No, that wasn''t it.


    Surprise?


    No, not that either.


    Sadness?


    It might be similar, but no, not quite.


    This was something else, something more than those one-dimensional emotions.


    It was closer to the fear one feels when encountering something unknown.


    A clear abnormality (??).


    The actions, the movements unfolding before my eyes.


    It was a reaction born from my inability to genuinely understand what I was seeing.


    "Hum, hum~?"


    ".....Alice?"


    Alice picked up a seed and carefully placed it in her basket, as if it were something precious.


    It was covered in black mold here and there.


    Alice picked up another seed, seemingly pleased with it.


    Its shell was cracked and broken.


    Except for the seed that Alice had picked, she returned the other seed to their original containers.


    They were faded and shriveled.


    Anyone could see they weren''t normal seeds.


    It wasn''t a matter of whether they would grow well or not, but whether they could sprout at all in the first place.


    But despite my questioning attitude, Alice, as if having obtained the seeds she wanted, hummed a happy tune.


    She made no move to throw them away, instead hugging them close.


    ¡ªTap, tap.


    "Hum, hum~?"


    "........"


    She was only picking the broken and rotten seeds.


    One by one, carefully.


    Streeeetch


    "........"


    I simply leaned back in my chair.


    And stared blankly at Alice''s incomprehensible behavior.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 82: Sowing.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 82 ¡µ Chapter 82. Sowing.


    * * *


    **


    Seven hundred meaningless lives spent wandering the world blindfolded in pitch-black darkness.


    Seventy lives spent simply drifting, not knowing where to go or my own¡¯s destination.


    Seven lives spent chasing mirages that would only blur my vision, a destination I could never reach.


    In this eternally repeating life, I agonized, and agonized again.


    "¡ªWhat am I living for."


    But that question, even now, after all this time.


    Continues on endlessly, forever, without ever being resolved.


    ***


    The sky that day was like any other, a cursed and resentful dawn sky.


    In that fleeting moment when the blue sky and the red daybreak blended together in the air, the color closest to death revealed itself.


    "¡ªGrandpa, what are these seeds for?"


    "....Hmm? Oh! Hyena, you''re here!"


    Under that melancholic, purple sky.


    I slowly crouched down in front of Grandpa, who was sorting seeds with his old, wrinkled hands from early morning.


    "Are you coming back from helping people again? You''re so diligent, haha, I wish my own children were even half as kind as you."


    "......"


    The old man, his kind smile showing the passage of time, greeted me warmly. He seemed happy to finally have someone to talk to after a long while.


    One word from me, and several would come back in return.


    Was it because he was getting old.


    Or was it because he was a lonely and solitary man.


    "....No."


    Well, it didn''t matter either way.


    I was just listening to what others wanted.


    Grateful that I could be a small comfort to someone else, I continued speaking.


    Glancing up at the sky once.


    "¡ªThere was no one today."


    "Haha. I see, Hyena. That''s why you''ve looked so gloomy since earlier."


    I subtly shook my head at his question about whether I had been helping people again. I replied that I hadn''t seen anyone who particularly needed help today.


    The same mechanical routine every day. Quickly finishing my assigned tasks to earn enough money to survive, and then spending the rest of my time helping those in need.


    But in the early morning, when only a few diligent people ventured outside, a time far from the bustling lunch hour, it was unlikely that anyone would require the help of a small kid like me.


    And having confirmed that there were no lost children wandering around or starving people collapsing from hunger anywhere in the village that I could help with my abilities, I ended up having to spend time alone.


    To endure the painful, agonizing time.


    A time of idleness that would continue on indefinitely.


    I needed to help others quickly.


    I needed to give up everything I should enjoy, to atone for my past greed, and dedicate everything for the sake of others.


    My friends, my family and neighbors, the people of this village who raised me, the citizens of my country, everyone living in this world¡ªI needed to help them, and help them again, and again.


    But why wasn¡¯t it going well.


    Why was this emptiness only growing. S§×ar?h the Nov§×l?ire.n(e)t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    The reason why I had to do this had long since faded and worn away through repeating lives, and I couldn''t easily recall it, like a faded old photograph.


    But that sense of duty, that compulsion, had already become chains and shackles, tightly binding my soul.


    I would continue this act until my life was worn away, until nothing remained.


    But loving everyone was the same as loving no one.


    And saying that you want to be helpful to everyone is the same as saying you can''t be helpful to anyone.


    Especially if those actions weren''t even based on genuine goodwill towards others, but simply for one''s own satisfaction.


    It couldn''t become anything at all.


    Good deeds done for one''s own salvation are no different from a lump of lead coated in gold.


    It wasn''t much different from the unsightly actions of a loser trying to escape the sins they had committed.


    And yet, I, throughout seventy-seven lives, had continued to repeat this absolute worst behavior.


    Even if only ruin awaited at the end of these hypocritical actions, believing there was meaning in it and clinging to a thread of hope.


    That was how I had lived my life.


    But.


    No, of course.


    No matter how many good deeds I did, no matter how much I reduced what I ate and tightened my own neck.


    My heart remained unfilled, the corner of my heart that wouldn''t ignite, was still empty and void.


    Was there really meaning in what I had done?


    Was there truly any value in the help I offered out of a sense of obligation?


    Was I missing something?


    Like a jar with a broken bottom, no matter how much water I poured, my heart remained empty, only indifferent thoughts surfacing.


    And so I was falling into an endless hellish abyss of self-reproach.


    That''s when¡ª


    "¡ªUrgh, this is getting difficult now too."


    ".......?"


    Rustle, rustle.


    "Looks like it''ll rain tomorrow¡­ Oh dear, my whole body is aching already."


    "....Ah."


    The sight of him diligently working on something in front of the flower shop caught my eye.


    ¡ªTap, tap.


    "By the way, to think a little one like you would be curious about an old man sorting seeds, I''ve seen it all now. Haha!"


    ".......I was, just curious."


    Despite being at an age where his eyesight must be failing, as if the age was just for show, he was swiftly and accurately sorting seeds into the basket beside him while talking to me.


    His hands moved through the seeds like sifting through sand.


    The seeds caught one by one were tossed into the basket with holes and tears here and there.


    A small one.


    An unnecessarily large one.


    One with strange fluid stuck to it.


    Most of them were empty shells, hollow inside, while the rest were either rotten and blackened from water damage or broken.


    Seeds that must have dreamed of a bright future, of blooming beautifully and bearing fruit, when they were first born.


    But what becomes of the fate of those whose futures were twisted from birth, or by their surrounding environment.


    Would they simply be trampled upon and vanish.


    Or is there another future waiting for them.


    I, who had lived like a machine, simply helping others day after day.


    I, who wasn''t even allowed to question my own actions.


    It was a curiosity that came to me after a very long time


    But.


    "Most of the seeds in that basket will be thrown away."


    "....Thrown, away?"


    Despite my anticipation, the answer I received was a cold, heartless one.


    Even as he uttered those cruel words, ''thrown away'', his skillful hands continued sorting the seeds mechanically without slowing down.


    One by one. Without being remembered by anyone.


    Seeds that were rotten from the moment they were born.


    Seeds that had become unusable because they were improperly stored, regardless of their own actions.


    Seeds that had no choice but to fall, blown by the wind before maturing, all of them.


    ¡ªSwish.


    ".........."


    Were being swept away by his indifferent, wrinkled hands, devoid of any emotion.


    The old man continued speaking.


    "The completely rotten ones are useless, you see. Of course, it would be a waste to throw them all away, so we might roast or fry them to eat? But why do you ask?"


    ".........."


    "...Hyena?"


    But unfortunately, the rest of what he said didn''t properly reach my ears.


    That these seeds, these seeds containing a noble and glorious future, would all be.


    Thrown away without even properly blooming, disappearing without a trace.


    Only that thought was striking my mind.


    "...Why?"


    "Hmm....Well, because they''re empty, you see."


    Even at my single-syllable question, uttered with trembling lips, the response I received was the cold, heartless answer of society.


    Just because seeds that weren''t fully developed inside had a low chance of growing even if planted in the ground.


    Just because planting them would only take up space that could be used for other seeds, they were considered defective products.


    While handing over all opportunities to the glossy, well-filled seeds beside them, they had to end their lives without even being given a small patch of land to spread their roots.


    [''¡ªYou''ve never even tried.'']


    Opportunity.


    An opportunity that had been taken away and given to someone else.


    [''¡ªI tried so hard, but you just trampled on everything, you ruined everything.'']


    ¡ªCrash!


    ".......!!"


    "...Oh dear!? Wh-what''s wrong!"


    Stolen opportunity.


    The moment those words came to mind, I was finally able to find the missing piece of the puzzle I couldn''t put together.


    The one piece that had remained unfilled even after I had put together all the other pieces.


    I was able to recover that last lost piece from within my memories.


    Why had I been doing these meaningless things all this time.


    Why had I been thinking I needed to help others all this time.


    Wasn''t it all to atone for the past, for the opportunities I had stolen and enjoyed from others?


    Yes.


    That''s right, that was it.


    People with outstanding talents and warm personalities.


    Even those who should rightfully succeed and be happy cannot properly spread their wings and were crushed by misfortune that came without discrimination.


    What I had to do was to become their stepping stone so they could succeed.


    To help bloom the one precious, noble and pure life they possess that cannot be exchanged for anything.


    That was my reason for existing.


    ¡ªSwish.


    "Give me those seeds."


    "...Huh?"


    I held out my hand.


    I could see the grandfather right in front of me making a confused expression at my words, words filled with an authority he had probably never heard from me before, but I didn''t care.


    Because I, with a bright smile that might be a first in this life, was opening up endless possibilities for my future.


    Now, and today.


    The long, long wandering and journey of a young child came to an end here.


    The destination that seemed like it would never exist, the mirage that grew fainter the more I reached for it, they were all revealing themselves.


    I had two legs, and knew which direction to go.


    All that remained for me now was to walk forward.


    "¡ªI¡¯ll, I¡¯ll raise them."


    "........."


    I carefully held the broken and shriveled seeds in my cupped hands, bringing them close to my chest.


    As that small something touched my heart, I felt a sense of fulfillment welling up inside me, in a place I thought would remain empty forever.


    That feeling was so good.


    That I thought, I wouldn''t mind if my heart stopped beating right here, right now.


    Even as I hung from a noose, a gun barrel against my chest, and poison in my mouth.


    I could willingly sing a hymn of life, my hands clasped together, with such joy.


    ¡ªSqueeze¡­!


    "This is, a blessing."


    I tightly clutched the small, broken and shriveled seeds in my hand, lest I lose them.


    The warm pulse of life emanating from within, was guiding me towards the truth hidden within this world.


    The value of my life.


    The mission I had to fulfill. Everything.


    "I can see it."


    I could see it.


    **


    ".........."


    I opened my eyes wide.


    In front of me, with a small smile, was a black-haired woman looking at me with an expression mixed half with shock and half with concern.


    Han Sia.


    Living her second life, half-way into a heresy that shouldn''t be touched.


    In this life I couldn¡¯t even remember the number of, the one closest to me.


    I opened my tightly closed mouth wide.


    "Sis Sia, I have a question."


    "....Alice?"


    I will ask you, you who once denied my way of life.


    I will ask you, you who are one of those who keep shaking my heart.


    The beginning of a crucial question that would determine the direction of our lives.


    The beginning of a grand prologue and epilogue.


    "A very, very important question. I really want you to answer it for me, Sis Sia."


    Now.


    Let us sing.


    Sis Sia.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 83: Standing at a Crossroads.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 83 ¡µ Chapter 83. Standing at a Crossroads


    (TL Note: Just a note, I use * * to refer to Alice, since the author puts the continuation of Alice¡¯s dialogue outside of " ".)


    * * *


    **


    Send the precious child on a journey.


    A difficult journey where sharp thorns lie in wait below and hot molten metal flows from behind.


    Place tall signposts along the way for the child to see.


    Magnificent signposts that can lift the child¡¯s wavering legs when they try to give up, gently pushing their reluctant body forward.


    Like that, one by one.


    The day when the child overcomes all the hardships and adversities that everyone said they would give up on, even as their legs are blistered, and their hands covered in calluses.


    We, who have been secretly watching from behind, will witness the breathtaking moment when a swan takes flight across the vast sky.


    At that time.


    "I, too, will depart on a journey."


    My life will be completed (perfectly?).


    (TL Note: In the original raw, ¡®??(Íê?)? ???¡¯ The word ?? (wangyeol) is the Korean equivalent of Finn/The end. Essentially stating the END of a story. I don¡¯t really know how to translate something of this level in English, so I¡¯m hoping you readers will be able to understand the meaning from this TL Note.)


    **


    ¡ªStep.


    "Once upon a time, there were two seeds that flew to me on the wind."


    With the final scraggly seed, its insides exposed and crushed in various places, carefully buried in the ground.


    Alice finished the labor that had taken so long, carefully burying one by one all the many seeds she had chosen.


    A gentle smile, filled with infinite affection.


    Alice''s smile, which had been directed at me, was now turned towards the small mounds that had risen above the field.


    Tap, tap.


    Gently patting the small mounds of earth with her bare hand.


    Alice''s story began, like the song of a bard starting the verse of a grand epic poem.


    Or like the narration explaining the background for a long play about to begin.


    It started with a small monologue.


    "Because they had warm hearts and personalities, able to care for others and empathize with their pain, I thought those two seeds could bloom into flowers more beautiful and magnificent than anyone else."


    "......"


    "...Yes. Flowers that would grow more fresh than my favorite white baby''s breath, more radiant than the five-petaled cistus."


    *Heehee, even as I tried to hold onto them tighter.*


    *My meager strength was barely enough just to plant those two*


    Alice looked around the greenhouse with dreamy eyes as if recalling the distant past, and murmured about past events in a voice tinged with an inexplicable maturity and mystique, all while performing a strange, dance-like movements. S~ea??h the N?vel(F)ire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Twirling around and around.


    She suddenly spun around while walking, and reached out her fingertips towards the empty air.


    And then, with a small hop.


    As she passed the field, she jumped over the flat furrows as if crossing a narrow stream, though no obstacles were visible.


    It was like someone standing in the present, carefully pulling out and reminiscing about memories from the past one by one.


    "......"


    Or perhaps, it looked like the last struggles of someone about to disappear.


    But even despite my gaze, as if I could see countless things within her.


    Even despite my silent plea for her to stop, to return to her normal self.


    "But if left alone, the two seeds were destined to be crushed underfoot by someone, or to fall into a dark valley where not a single ray of light enters."


    "....U-Uh, yeah. I see. Ha, haha."


    Alice''s incomprehensible behavior showed no signs of stopping, and just continued as she moved up and down here and there.


    Why.


    Why is she trying to plant only seeds that already look rotten, that seem like they won''t grow.


    Rather.


    Wouldn''t it be much better to plant the perfectly fine, healthy seeds visible right next to them.


    Trying my best to push down the instinctive feeling of rejection that was trying to surface, I asked Alice as naturally as I could.


    If anything was wrong.


    If she had any worries, she could tell her big sister.


    That I would do whatever it took to solve them all.


    ''.......''


    ''...Alice?''


    But what I got in return was.


    Neither affirmation nor denial, nor any reason or intention behind her mysterious behavior.


    ''©¤Sis Sia. I have a question.''


    ''...U-um?''


    It was Alice''s evasive response, asking if I could answer her question, running parallel to my own words.


    No.


    It was as if our conversations were two lines that would never intersect, no crossroads in sight.


    I doubt it could even be called a response.


    Of course, in such a sudden situation that I couldn''t accept, there was no way Alice''s words could properly reach me.


    And the deep feelings hidden within were not something that I, in my confused state, could easily accept or notice.


    In the end, all I could do was nod my head to show I was listening well to Alice, or give soulless replies.


    What on earth was happening?


    I moistened my dry lips with my tongue, continuing to mutter such meaningless words.


    "Hey hey, Sis Sia."


    "....Yes?"


    "©¤Isn''t it strange?"


    Tap, her footsteps stopped.


    Alice, who hadn''t been looking at anything in particular until now, raised her head for the first time and met my eyes as I stood still.


    Flowers of all colors blooming against a blue-green background.


    Alice''s eyes, tinged with a rainbow of colors, seemed to contain a blazing fire.


    A fiery inferno, hotter than anything else.


    "Why was it that a kind and warm future wasn''t waiting for those two seeds, but a hot and bloody battlefield."


    "....Alice, wait. Let''s calm down for a moment. I don''t understand what you''re say¡ª"


    "¡ªWhy did that have to be what awaited the two seed, Sis?"


    I don''t understand the meaning of your words.


    I forced my lips to twist and open, I was about to utter those words, but Alice''s strong voice rang out again, cutting me off.


    And my lips, which had been carefully parted, were now tightly shut, like a clam.


    "¡ªI decided to raise flowers."


    Swoosh, a cloud passing through the sunlit sky cast a small shadow on the ground.


    That shadow that had freely flown through the air. Before I knew it, it had darkened the area around Alice that had been bright.


    Me, standing stiffly in the space where warm sunlight shone down.


    Alice, standing alone in the small darkened space.


    The shadow of a metal frame between us, like a boundary line, clearly separated Alice and me.


    In the middle of the darkness, in the midst of the light, Alice curled up the corners of her mouth and gave me a lovely smile, her loose sleeves fluttering.


    Yes.


    The bright and cheerful smile she always showed me every morning when I opened my eyes.


    "........"


    But why did that ordinary smile, which seems no different from usual, feel so terrifying to me now?


    I couldn''t understand anything at this moment.


    Step, and.


    Alice began to slowly walk towards me, making small footsteps.


    "I sprinkled fertilizer over the small holes I had dug, and sprayed water over the dry soil to moisten it underneath."


    As she took that first step, Alice''s voice began to grow more agitated.


    "Worried they might be lonely, I sang to them day and night, and gently stroked their soft cotyledons. ¡ªAll for the sake of those seeds."


    By the second step, Alice''s voice gradually began to mix with sobs.


    "And so, those flowers grew vigorously, their petals blooming so beautifully that I was certain every animal in the world would admire their beauty."


    With the third, and fourth steps, Alice''s sobbing voice began to shake uncontrollably.


    And then¡ª


    ¡ªTap.


    The last, final step.


    "But then, you see."


    Alice had now come right up to the edge of the long shadow cast by the metal frame.


    At that distance of about a hand''s span, where it seemed I could touch her if I reached out, Alice stopped and came no closer.


    As if an invisible wall of glass existed between us.


    Or as if she was saying this line could never be crossed in her lifetime.


    Looking at that sight, for some reason I felt the distance between Alice and me had grown by the width of that single line drawn between us.


    Despite being only about an inch apart.


    The current Alice felt so very far away.


    "After I had so beautifully finished everything. I was about to return them to nature, to where they originally belonged, but."


    "........"


    "But then, you see. Suddenly, several stems grabbed my legs tightly! HaHAHahAhA!"


    "........"


    "Isn''t that strange, Sis Sia? It''s strange, so strange!"


    With a loud "Boo!"


    Alice pretended to scare me by flapping her sleeves widely, as if imitating a ghost.


    But as if finding my unresponsive, frozen state amusing, Alice burst into laughter as she looked at me.


    Alice''s mouth stretched wide, wider than I had ever seen before in laughter.


    But the eyes of Alice that I saw were not laughing at all.


    No.


    "HahA, HAHahA..."


    Rather, they looked like they were crying.


    Alice said.


    "They told me not to go, not to send them away. That they wanted to stay here in this greenhouse."


    *Even though I said I couldn''t do anything for them anymore.*


    *...Continuously.*


    "That they wanted to live with me, hidden away in this small flower garden, instead of proudly showing off their petals beautifully and being admired by everyone."


    *Even though I said I no longer had anything to offer them.*


    *...Without stopping.*


    *Again and again, like that.*


    "That''s what they kept saying."


    "........"


    With each sentence, Alice''s voice grew quieter and quieter.


    But the trembling and instability only intensified, and I knew instinctively that Alice''s long speech was nearing its end.


    "What should I do?"


    *Hey hey, answer me, Sis.*


    "What¡ªwhat am I supposed to say to them?"


    "........"


    And.


    I, too, instinctively knew that the moment of choice had finally arrived.


    Someone once said.


    If you gaze into the abyss long enough, the abyss gazes also into you.


    Therefore, those who fight monsters should be careful lest they become monsters themselves.


    And those who don''t even have the strength to fight, shouldn¡¯t even put themselves in a situation to encounter monsters in the first place.


    But.


    "Hmm? Sis Sia?"


    "........"


    But in the depths of a dark well where even light loses its way.


    In that place where everyone said a monster lurked, there was only a single girl, sitting with her legs neatly folded, staring straight at me.


    The child with a sad expression reached out her hand to me as if begging for salvation.


    And faced with that outstretched hand.


    "I¡ª"


    I had to do it.


    I had to give her an answer.


    Even if it would lead to a cruel outcome.


    I must return that answer.


    **


    "I think you need to forcibly detach the flowers, even if it''s against their will."


    **


    "Couldn''t you do as the flowers wish?"


    **


    An important choice.


    * * *

 Chapter 84: HaPpY. (1)

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 84 ¡µ HaPpY. (1)


    * * *


    **


    Was she contemplating where to look.


    Her black pupils looking at me were shaking back and forth, as if lost and unsure where to go.


    In the quiet flower garden, the small sound of her swallowing created ripples, disturbing the still surface.


    Sia''s eyes twitched as if she was forcing herself to move them, and she kept swallowing her dry saliva while a mechanical smile is plastered on her face.


    Confusion and fear, bewilderment and anxiety.


    And¡ªeven worry directed at me.


    Was she truly unaware that her actions were so artificial that even someone insensitive to the emotions of others could see through her.


    Sia simply remained silent, maintaining the awkward silence.


    "¡ªWhat am I supposed to do? Hey hey, answer me, Sis."


    "........."


    "Hm? Sis?"


    At a distance so close that I could almost touch her if I reached out, she simply stood there, her face a mixture of confusion, as if still unable to grasp the situation, her gaze following my every move.


    As if she couldn''t understand what I was saying.


    As if she couldn''t keep up with my words.


    Her black pupils, now blinking excessively, were filled with chaos, with no trace of the order they had shown before.


    Yes.


    In the end, on the palette where I had mixed various colors of paint hoping for a beautiful result, the color I had expected wasn''t created anywhere.


    All that remained on the once pristine white palette was a murky, dark gray mess, a color whose original components couldn¡¯t even be guessed.


    Yet, even as I shuddered from the guilt that clawed at my heart, I continued to crave an answer.


    Because of my small, selfish desire to hear an answer to the question that was tormenting me from her, Han Sia.


    Yes, it was greed.


    In truth, I hadn¡¯t expected her to immediately understand my words and offer an answer from the beginning.


    No, it would be a lie to say I didn''t know.


    "........."


    How could she possibly understand and unravel this tangled mess of emotions, a mess that even I, the one experiencing it, couldn''t fully express.


    Even I said it was impossible to unravel it.


    The only way to solve the unsolvable Gordian knot was to cut through the entire knot with a sword.


    No matter how much of an outlier Han Sia might be, living a second life different from others, to me, who had lived a four-digit life, she was not much different from ordinary people living their one and only life.


    Being born, living.


    Living, and eventually dying.


    Just like someone running a marathon with a predetermined end.


    "........"


    But the sight that would greet my eyes when I opened them after crossing the finish line along with them was.


    The sight of the tape breaking as I passed through, signaling the end of the marathon.


    And the sight of a new, pristine white line being quietly wrapped around the finish point, without making a sound.


    As if telling me to keep running without rest.


    As if I wasn''t allowed to rest yet.


    And so, like that.


    The starting pistol for a new race with complete strangers, ignoring my protests, rang out again in the stadium.


    And I, once again, had to run that long and arduous path alone, in solitude.


    Without being understood by anyone.


    Despite all that, the reason I asked her that question in this flower garden.


    The reason I chose her, who could never understand me, as the one to answer my question was.


    Remi would have told me to just leave the flowers that wanted to stay in the greenhouse alone and find other flowers.


    Anna and Elli would have said that my original intentions were more important and that I should proceed as planned.


    Unlike them, whose answers were already predetermined by their inherent values and personalities, I thought that she, who always observed the world from a distance, would be able to choose her own answer based on her beliefs.


    You, who are closer to me than anyone else, without being swayed or influenced by anything.


    You, who are still trying your best to give me an answer to my forced question.


    I sincerely hoped that you would judge my actions from the perspective of an objective third party who could view everything impartially.


    Therefore.


    "¡ªI think it''s okay to detach the flowers, even if you have to force them."


    ".......Ah."


    Even if those words were spoken without knowing my circumstances.


    Even if it wasn''t her true intention.


    That single small phrase felt like it was affirming my actions so far, telling me that what I had done wasn''t wrong¡ª


    "¡ªThank you."


    Sia¡¯s single phrase, affirming me.


    That alone was enough for me to feel saved.


    Therefore, this was a gift.


    My own way of expressing gratitude to her, for making such a difficult decision, and for affirming my actions.


    Really¡ª


    ¡ªSlap!


    "Really, thank you. Sis Sia."


    ".......Ah?!" S~ea??h the N?velFire(.)net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    My palm moving at a speed she, still inexperienced in many ways, couldn''t quite see, struck her face.


    With a light sound that made our long conversation up to now feel somewhat meaningless, Sia''s body, her brain rattled from the impact to her jaw, began to slowly collapse, falling to her knees right where she stood.


    Sia''s eyes gradually closed, her face showing an expression that she didn¡¯t even know what was happening.


    "...A¡­li¡­¡­ce?"


    My name flowed out softly from between her stupidly parted lips, not knowing what had hit her.


    What was the arm reaching out to me for, I wonder.


    I answered.


    "Thanks to you saving me, Sis, I was able to be happy."


    So, Sis.


    All of this was just a nightmare, a midwinter night''s dream that you''ll forget once you wake up from your sleep.


    When you open your eyes, shake off and forget about the illusion that made you break out in a cold sweat, as if nothing had happened.


    Because a better tomorrow is waiting for everyone.


    For courageous Elli, who decided to leave the dark room despite being abandoned by the world and forgave it all, a new opportunity will be given.


    For Remi, who cast off her shackles and gained new wings instead, a free world where she can spread her abilities will be given.


    For Anna, who worked diligently and did her best in her given position, a place higher and more respected than anyone else will be given.


    And ¡ª for Sia, who didn''t forget her kindness towards me, the very happiness and joy she herself had missed despite being so close by, will all be given as a reward.


    Because it''s time for everything to return to its rightful place.


    Children who learn about the bluebird that brings happiness set off on an adventure to find that bird on Christmas Eve.


    They meet a witch, a cat, a fat man and a rich lady.


    But wherever they go, whether it''s the palace of the night, the graveyard where the dead are buried, or the land of happiness, the bluebird couldn''t be found.


    ''Uh, uhm? But why are you here, Rumi? Did Sis Sia not come with you?''


    ''.....Ah, that''s right. There''s something I have to tell you on her behalf. Sia said she hurt her leg and asked if you could come down to the foot of the mountain.''


    ''Hmm...? Okay! Thank you, Rumi!!''


    ''.....Yes. You really are a kind child. Truly kind.''


    Just like the hopeful story where the bluebird that bring happiness turns out to be the blue-feathered pigeon they had been raising at home all along, showing that happiness isn''t something far away, but something that exists close by.


    For them, happiness wasn¡¯t some illusory existence like me.


    ''¡ªAlice, was it? If this continues, Han will die. You are the witch. You are the monster. You are the bad child, you are the one who did wrong¡ªUnderstood?''


    ''.........''


    But someone who had silently stayed by their side, watching over them.


    And so.


    Following the trail of green hair I had vaguely remembered from our encounter on the street.


    My script, to return her happiness¡ªeveryone''s happiness¡ªto its rightful place, began to be written anew.


    **


    Chirp, chirp, and.


    Chiiiirp¡ª


    "...Uh, uh...What is this."


    ".........."


    From afar, something like the cry of an unidentified bird, reminiscent of a sparrow''s chirping, tickled my ear.


    The bird''s song coming from beyond the window was pleasant to listen to, but its irregular rhythm was enough to pull me out of my slumber, as I had been comfortably napping with my back against a tree.


    Feeling a small weight and warmth on my lap, I slowly regained consciousness.


    But.


    "....When did I fall asleep? Did I doze off from fatigue?"


    "Mmm......"


    No matter how hard I tried to recall, the memories from the time I came to the flower garden with Alice to the time I fell asleep against the tree wouldn''t resurface.


    As if a thick coat of white paint had been applied¡ªmy mind was completely blank.


    That ¡ö¡ö with Alice.


    That from Alice, I ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ª


    ¡ªTwitch.


    "...Heehee. Sis Siaaa..."


    "Should I have bought that camera back when Remi was going on about it...?"


    But the fortunate thing was.


    Alice was sleeping soundly with her head resting on my outstretched legs.


    If, by some mistake, even the slightest scratch had appeared on Alice, I would have had to face two princesses chasing after me with swords drawn, and a monster silently cracking her knuckles.


    Thanks to her being unharmed, I was spared that ordeal.


    "......"


    Well. It must have been a nightmare.


    The reason I can''t remember is probably because it wasn''t that important.


    Alice is alive and well, and what could be more important than that.


    So, so¡ª


    ¡ªPoke, poke.


    "...That''s a relief, right?"


    "....Mmm.."


    Poking Alice''s soft cheeks, ripe as a peach, with my index finger.


    I forcefully washed away the anxiety that was stirring up inside me for some reason, a feeling that wouldn''t disappear even though I earnestly tried to forget about it.


    But no matter how much I washed it away, no matter how much I scratched at it.


    The anxiety that clung stubbornly to my heart, insisting it shouldn''t disappear, as if saying that it absolutely couldn''t be forgotten.


    The anxiety that I might not be able to see the bright afternoon sun at three o''clock anymore.


    Showed no signs of fading even as time passed.


    ¡­Persistently, strangely so.


    **


    "...Hee, hee."


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 85: HaPpY. (2)

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 85 ¡µ HaPpY. (2)


    * * *


    **


    If we run into the secret house of death, ere death dare come upon us.


    Would that be a sin?


    "I, don''t know."


    **


    Fifteen days had passed since the incident in the flower garden.


    The twenty-third day of the twelfth month revealed itself, when everyone was already beginning to revel in the festive atmosphere of Christmas celebration (???) which would be officially announced starting tomorrow evening.


    Through the snow-white city, buried entirely under the cold remnants of yesterday''s sudden snowfall, shadows of people began to emerge one by one, like sprouting seedlings.


    Figures gathering steadily in the streets.


    Tall adults, moving their long legs to finish the preparations for the blessing ceremony they couldn''t complete the day before.


    Small children, their hands clad in thick mittens, contemplating what games they would play in the freshly fallen snow.


    On the eve of the festival celebrating the birth of a single person.


    ¡ªWheeee¡ö¡ö.


    "....Huu."


    As usual, I was sitting on the window sill, my knees drawn to my chest, blankly staring at the lively scene outside.


    People busily going about their daily lives.


    From my small open mouth, a faint breath, like a wisp of a soul, rose and disappeared repeatedly.


    Until my lungs grew cold, completely frozen, and no more soul could flow out.


    That series of actions continued on and on.


    "¡ªIt''s ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö a month ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö! How ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö are you ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö to stay ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö! Go ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö already?!"


    "........"


    "Don¡¯t ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö your head ¡ö¡ö¡ö look at ¡ö¡ö, you ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö!! Argh¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ª!!!"


    Bang¡ö, Bang¡ö.


    Remi''s sharp voice and the sound of her banging on the desk pierced my ears as I turned my head away.


    Despite the unpleasant sensation and pain, like someone was stabbing my ears with a sharp metal skewer and trying to pull my brain out, I smiled helplessly and looked in their direction.


    And sure enough, visible with my still-functioning eyes, was Remi, grabbing Anna by the collar and shouting something, while Anna, being dragged by Remi, turned her head as far to the side as possible, trying her best to avoid making eye contact with her.


    One avoiding eye contact with a sullen expression, the other glaring and scolding.


    It looked like a scene of someone scolding a misbehaving cat.


    Hahaha.


    ".......Heehee."


    At that random, silly thought, I let out a small laugh.


    In the past, I used to be able to smile all day long, wondering what was so funny about such an uninteresting thought.


    In the past, I used to be able to find joy and laughter in even the smallest, most trivial things.


    The carefree days when I would play pranks, laugh, and chatter without even thinking about the reasons.


    When did it start, from where, since when, did my fake smile begin.


    Even as I writhed in the overwhelming pain, I didn''t let the smile on my face fade. Sear?h the N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    Because it would be over soon.


    Because everything would begin anew, once again.


    I was able to endure.


    "J-Just a ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö longer¡­! Can''t I¡­ ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö a bit ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö?"


    "That''s the ¡ö¡ö¡ö time you''ve ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö that!! Can¡¯t ¡ö¡ö¡ö get ¡ö¡ö¡ö now?!"


    Remi was pointing at the door, yelling at the top of her lungs for Anna to leave.


    It had been a month since Anna had taken up residence in Sia''s dorm.


    Her ambitious declaration of "I''ll only stay for a little while," had been repeated so many times, that it now sounded like a clich¨¦ excuse of an unemployed person being hounded by the landlord for not paying their rent.


    Of course, they say that there is no younger sibling that could win against their older sibling, but even an older sibling¡¯s position can be reversed if they are in the wrong.


    Even the most dignified older sister couldn¡¯t bring herself to act harshly towards her younger sister, and Anna, while cowering at the cold treatment, stubbornly refused to budge.


    She must have a lot of work piled up as the Crown Princess, but she was still insisting about staying here with me.


    I don''t know whether to call this admirable or foolish.


    For me, it was all a mystery.


    Around them were Tessa, reading a book as if this was now a familiar occurrence, and Sia, looking at the desk that had finally broken under Remi''s punches with a resigned expression.


    "...It''s too ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö, Alice ¡ö¡ö¡ö hear ¡ö¡ö¡ö."


    And lastly, there was Elli, drinking tea at a distance.


    Water and oil.


    And a spark.


    Remi and Anna, whose cherished memories from years past had turned into hatred, now resenting each other as much as they had once loved each other.


    And Elli, who had been hiding and protecting her true identity alone, in solitude, for a time longer than the lifespan of several people.


    They were people who couldn¡¯t mix no matter how hard you tried, who couldn¡¯t get along no matter how much effort you put in, everything about them diametrically opposed.


    Thanks to Sia''s characteristic easygoing nature and lack of prejudice, she had somehow managed to build a somewhat harmonious relationship with everyone, but for the other three, it wasn''t something that could be easily resolved.


    But.


    ''I won''t forgive you¡­ I will never, ever forgive you¡­''


    ''.......''


    Even if revenge was forbidden, and forgiveness was impossible.


    ''¡ªSo, you. Just make sure you treat Aris well from now on.''


    ''...R-Remi?''


    Surprisingly, they learned that they could reconcile.


    Among those who knew the scene from back then, when they would draw swords and throw punches at the mere sight of each other''s faces, who could have predicted a scene like this.


    Probably everyone, all ten out of ten, would have shaken their heads.


    But in the end, they did it.


    ''I''ll be watching from the side! If you show any signs of doing that again, I''ll beat you up then! Got it?''


    ''....Remi.''


    ''Don''t get me wrong! I-I still haven''t fully forgiven you!! I''m just¡­ just¡­! Telling you to stop moping around in the corner like that!!''


    They broke and threw off the chains of hatred, the shackles that everyone thought impossible to remove, all by themselves without anyone''s help.


    Time. It is the greatest medicine of all.


    No matter how fatal the wound, no matter how painful the agony that makes one want to die, it would all eventually fade in its presence.


    Even someone''s death, in the face of time, is just a momentary wound that will eventually pass.


    Everything they had experienced would eventually pass, becoming a memory to reminisce about, a scab that would one day fall off and be forgotten.


    That''s the kind of wounds they were.


    Even if right now, their relationship is still awkward, with conversations that don''t quite connect and break off abruptly.


    I was certain that they, the ones I loved and trusted, would be able to overcome even that awkwardness.


    So.


    "........"


    It''s really over now.


    All that remains is for me to disappear while blessing their future path.


    Before I stole someone else''s happiness again.


    Before I stood in their way again.


    And.


    "My desk¡ö¡­.! The one I ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö after the ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö one broke¡­!"


    "Ha...Ha¡ö¡ö. Really¡­ Sia? ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö?"


    "¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö........."


    ...Before I broke down even further.


    I rubbed my increasingly blurry eyes.


    "¡ªBig Sis Remi."


    "...Hmm? What is it, Aris!? Just say it! I''ll kick her out right now if you want!"


    Through my strangely blurry vision, I murmured Remi''s name.


    Though she was in the middle of a tug-of-war, still gripping Anna''s collar, Remi immediately let go and looked at me the moment she heard my voice.


    I could barely understand her muffled words by looking at the shape of her mouth. What a dull and boring task.


    I prepared to utter the words that, once spoken, could never be taken back.


    Once, the slide is pulled back.


    And with that, a bullet is loaded.


    Click, and. The hammer pulled back to its limit, waited to be released.


    The loaded pistol, aimed at my neck.


    When the carelessly aimed muzzle spewed out hot flames, it would soon be.


    I¡ª


    "¡ªI, There''s something I want to buy¡­ Um¡­ I want to buy gifts for my big sisters¡­ So, I''d like to go out for a bit."


    This is the last.


    This is the real last, in this life.


    Really. Really, this was my final script.


    "Big Sis Remi. So... I want to go to town. Can I go out? Please?"


    "...Tessa. Prepare the clothes now. We''re leaving immediately."


    "...Should I call for a carriage...?"


    They started getting dressed quickly, as if they had planned it all along.


    Even at my sudden request, they quickly started moving without a single complaint or objection.


    Watching them, I thought.


    Everyone is too good for me.


    So I hoped they would leave me behind, this insignificant being, and find their own freedom.


    I hoped they would forget about me and set off on a journey to find a new bluebird that brings happiness.


    That''s what I wished for.


    "....Heehee."


    Now, the grand festival begins.


    Adults and children. Men and women. The wicked and the righteous.


    On Christmas, blessings be upon you.


    The words of blessing that everyone utters with one heart and mind.


    Merry Christmas.


    ¡ªDing-a-ling.


    "¡ªLet''s go!"


    Feeling the loud gunshot-like sound flowing from the bell hanging on the front door.


    I, we, stepped outside.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 86: HaPpY. (3) (1)

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 86 ¡µ HaPpY. (3)


    * * * S§×ar?h the N??eFire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    **


    Ding-a-ling©¤?, Ding-a-ling©¤?.


    "So this world also has festivals like this, huh. Of course, it''s a bit different¡­ Well, I guess a place where people live is still just a place where people live, after all."


    Muttering those words, I looked around.


    Although the festival officially started tomorrow, the world was already completely immersed in a festive atmosphere.


    It was like the day before a school field trip, when everyone''s all excited.


    Every time groups of children moved around with colorful handbells clutched in both hands, the streets were filled with clear, beautiful melodies.


    And the carols, which had started with the humming of one or two people, spread like the aroma of delicious food, and before I knew it, the entire street was immersed in a grand harmony.


    Adults and children alike, everyone blessing this day.


    It was truly a festive moment, a feast for both the eyes and ears.


    ¡ªTap, tap!


    "Wow! Big Sis Elli, look, look! There''s a tree with a huge star on top! I wonder what kind of tree that is?"


    "Needle-shaped bark and pointed leaves... It must be a fir tree. And those hanging on it¡­ seem to be candies made from hardened sugar."


    "......Oh? Look, flowers! Heehee, let''s go see, Big Sis Elli!"


    And it looks like Alice was no exception to this.


    At twelve years old, soon to be thirteen when the month ends and the new year begins, Alice wasn¡¯t exactly a small child by this world''s standards, but perhaps because this kind of festival was a first for her.


    Alice, completely immersed in the festive atmosphere, was leading us around here and there with an innocent smile on her face.


    The sight of Alice running about, grabbing Saelli''s arm and busily moving around to see the street vendors and the goods they were selling.


    It was like a young child''s bold declaration that she would enjoy this moment forever.


    "Alice. Running around like that here is dangerous¡ª"


    "¡ªBig Sis Elli! Look at this, it''s a narcissus! Oh, and there''s a camellia too!? Heehee. Aren''t they pretty?"


    "....Yes. They''re very pretty, indeed."


    I wonder what our Saelli finds so beautiful.


    Looking at her flushed face, which even the hood couldn¡¯t completely hide, I had a rough idea what it was.


    Worried that Alice might slip and fall on a hidden patch of ice, Saelli tried to warn her. Running around on the streets where snow had fallen could be dangerous.


    But Alice, who would normally have stopped immediately upon hearing Saelli''s words, was now too engrossed in her surroundings to even hear Saelli''s words and just continued with her own excited chatter.


    ¡ªSwish!


    "Ta-da~!"


    Alice, who had run up to a merchant displaying flowers, hugged an armful of daffodils and camellias that were on display there and turned back to face us.


    In the midst of the Christmas festival, filled with human warmth, it was the moment a white flower bud with striking blue-green eyes bloomed fully.


    "....Well, I suppose it''s alright, just for today."


    Seeing that excited look, even Saelli couldn''t bring herself to be stern, and she nodded with a wry smile.


    Despite her words, she was the one who doted on Alice the most among us.


    And then¡ª


    ¡ªSqueeze!


    "Let go off me right now, Han Sia!"


    "Mercenary, release this arm immediately. I must go to Aris."


    "...Geez, you princesses really can''t read the mood. Where do you think you''re trying to butt in."


    Two women, each being grabbed by one of my arms, frozen mid-stride as they tried to run forward.


    The names of those who were muttering, ''Of course it should be us (me) who stands beside her,'' were Anna Akaia and Remi Akaia, respectively.


    They were, even though I really want to deny it¡­ they were Alice''s real older sisters, connected by blood.


    Whether it''s because sisters are sisters even if they don''t get along, or what, these two who were acting like exact copies of each other until just now, upon seeing Alice and Saelli cuddling up ahead, moved in perfect unison to try and split them apart, as if their earlier bickering had been a lie.


    As I pulled them back, I shook my head vigorously, trying to resist the solidifying stereotype that everyone with the last name Akaia has this kind of personality.


    I mean, Alice''s last name is Akaia too, right?


    They can''t all be¡­ like this, can they?


    "Ariiiiis~! Come here! Your favorite big sister is here!!"


    ".....Aris, there appears to be flowers here too."


    Hmm.


    "....Tch."


    The conclusion to that age-old question was finalized as these two simply being weirdos.


    Of course, I knew better than anyone that if I were to utter the thought process behind solving that puzzle, I would never see the light of day again, so clamping my mouth shut as it was about to open was just par for the course.


    Unfortunately, in this world, there was no such thing as the nicety of freedom of speech.


    And I, unlike them, knew how to read the room.


    Well, like that.


    "Are you alright, Alice? The scent wafting over seems quite spicy."


    "....Mmm? No¡­ I''m fine, Big Sis Elli. Heehee."


    Sometimes, we all gathered to buy and eat strange skewers made of meat we couldn''t even identify.


    "Aris~! How about this? It''s a butterfly-shaped bookmark! Let''s each get one!"


    "Mmm¡­? Ah, I¡­ want the orange one."


    "Orange? There are only yellow and green ones¡­ Hmm, are you talking about this yellow one, Aris?"


    "....Yes. That one!"


    And sometimes, though it felt like we were being ripped off a bit, we would buy small trinkets that would become a page in our memories to cherish forever.


    The eventful and somewhat bizarre five hours of the festival, a time so intense and unforgettable, was nearing its end.


    Just as flowers bloom, they must eventually wither.


    The happy times, where every second felt too precious to waste, finally came to a close.


    ¡ªTap, tap!


    "~Ah, that was fun! Hehe, this bookmark is my treasure now!"


    "But Remi, you''ve never really liked reading since you were young¡ªO-Ow! I-I''m sorry. I said I''m sorry, Remi¡ª!"


    And so, as we were all reminiscing about the happy memories of the festival, slowly savoring the lingering feeling under the slowly setting evening sun.


    "Big sisters¡ª"


    "......Yes?"


    We heard Alice''s voice calling us.


    Though her voice was small and weak, as if she was barely able to speak.


    Strangely enough, Alice''s words entered our ears as clearly as if she had spoken right into them.


    "¡ªI, I wanted to buy you all gifts¡­Um¡­ So¡­"


    "......Yes?"


    As if embarrassed, she covered her flushed face with her long sleeves.


    Alice moved her small, cute lips, peeking out from between the fabric, and spoke to us.


    "It''s a surprise¡­ so¡­ um, I''ll quickly go buy them from the store over there¡­so, s-so¡­ I''m a little embarrassed, so would it be okay if I quickly go by myself?"


    ".........."


    Alice said she had seen something she liked on the way here, and wanted to get us gifts to show her gratitude.


    But she was too embarrassed to buy gifts for us in front of everyone, so she asked if she could quickly go to the store by herself.


    She said the store was right in front, so she''d be back quickly.


    And their reactions were, well.


    "...No way. Aris, what do you want? I''ll buy you the whole store for you!"


    "Alice is the one buying the gifts, why are you butting in!? Hey, stop right there, Crown Princess don¡¯t try to sneak away! Where do you think you''re going with that wallet!"


    "....I''m going to buy the store. Is that¡­ not allowed?"


    "....You guys are actually close, right? You''re just pretending not to be in front of me, right!?"


    No one could resist that destructive appearance, like a cat looking up at its owner and begging for treats, especially in this situation where everyone was ready to give Alice their liver and gallbladder if she asked.


    Well.


    "¡ªIt''s right in front, so I''ll be back quickly! Big sis, you really can''t follow me!!"


    "....!? Ah, she''s gone?"


    Alice was also about to turn thirteen years old, old enough to be considered more or less an adult, and seeing Alice running off ahead saying she''d go to the store right in front, of course no one could follow her.


    The place she said she was going was pointing to the building right in front.


    And this was the imperial capital, famous for its excellent public safety.


    It wasn''t like we could spend our whole lives by Alice''s side, restricting her every action and taking away her freedom.


    There wasn''t any reason, any reason at all, to stop a child who had pleaded with us not to follow her, saying she wanted to buy us gifts.


    "Don''t fight while I''m gone¡ª!! I mean it¡ª!!!"


    "Okay! We got it!! Come back soon, Alice!!!"


    We all waved our arms vigorously as we watched Alice look back at us one last time before turning back to the road we had come from, simply cheering Alice on in our hearts.


    Wondering what gifts she would bring back.


    Thinking, this much should be fine, right.


    Because that''s what we all thought.


    Yes.


    "©¤©¤©¤?!"


    "....What''s wrong, Saelli?"


    In this hellish world.


    We shouldn¡¯t have done that.


    **


    The nightingale that sang of dawn had its wings broken.


    Now the bird wondered where to go.


    "Its destination had already been decided."


    Everything, returns to the beginning.


    **

 Chapter 86: HaPpY. (3) (2)

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    The streets were crowded with colorless people.


    The deep black coat worn by the middle-aged man coming down the stone steps, and the light gray overcoats worn by children chasing each other playfully, as if trying to steal the outerwear off each other''s backs.


    The long, pure white hair peeking out from beneath the hood of a woman sweeping the front of a store with a large broom, and the pitch-black apron she wore, everything.


    The world was filled only with black and white, and the ambiguous shades of gray that existed somewhere between them.


    "........."


    And I, alone, was walking on the inorganic road, where the concept of color didn''t seem to exist, within that cold city.


    Remi, Anna, Elli, and Sia ¡ª my irreplaceable treasures.


    I recited their names one by one, the ones I knew would still be looking at me from behind, their gazes following my unsightly self until I disappeared from their sight.


    But even so.


    Lest even a glimpse of their figures enter my vision.


    Lest my wavering heart give in to a momentary impulse and make me turn back and run to them.


    ¡ªCr¡ö¡öch!


    "........."


    Even though I knew they were watching over me, I gritted my teeth, and clenched my fists tightly.


    I walked and walked, looking only straight ahead.


    The moment a die is thrown into the air, the number that will appear on its top face is already decided.


    From the moment I left the dormitory, saying I wanted to buy something.


    From the very moment I moved to the outskirts of the Saria Empire with Elli.


    From the moment I was swept away by the cold current and drifted into an unknown forest¡ª


    From the moment I was born as a child named ''Aris Akaia''©¤©¤©¤


    "....Heehee."


    ¡ªPerhaps it was already predetermined that I would become like this.


    And so, walking and walking, how many minutes had passed.


    ¡ªD¡ö¡ö¡ö-¡ö-l¡öng.


    "Wel¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö! Y¡ö¡öng ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö we¡ö¡ö¡öm¡ö¡ö! Hoho¡ö!"


    "....Heehee, hello Mister. Can I, come in?"


    After swimming through the waves of the crowd for a some time, I was able to arrive at my original intended destination before long.


    A shop filled with various handcrafted goods, from flower-shaped to rabbit-shaped ornaments, each with a slightly different design, looking as if they were all hand-blown glass.


    Inside, the owner with impressively thick forearms welcomed my visit with a kind smile.


    "A¡ö¡ö y¡ö¡ö l¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö f¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö? W¡öl¡ö, ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö."


    "....Heehee, yes."


    Passing over the owner''s utterly faint words, which were probably explanations about the items, with vague affirmations and smiles.


    I hadn''t come to this store to browse, I immediately headed towards where the item I wanted was displayed.


    Because the thing I wanted to buy had already been decided from the beginning.


    Everything, from the very start.


    "Hmm... Mister, please give me one of those sets."


    "¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡ö¡ö? ¡ö¡ö¡ö''s qu¡öte ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö, i¡ö¡ö''t i¡ö?"


    "....Heehee, my big sis gave me some allowance, so I came to buy it!"


    Four beautiful pendants, each shaped like the sun, a tree, a star, and the wind.


    Though I couldn''t see their colors with my fading vision, seeing how various shades of the same pendants were displayed in a row below, I assumed they were made with a variety of colors, not just monochrome.


    I''ll have to ask him to pick the colors for me.


    Really, such a shame.


    "¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö ¡ö bra¡öe l¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö l¡ö¡ö!"


    "....Heehee."


    A bright yellow, a deep green, a vivid crimson, and pitch black, colors reminiscent of their beautiful eyes that I could still picture even with my eyes closed.


    For me, who was searching for something to leave behind for them, something that would last a long time without changing, nothing could be better than this pendant set that resembled them.


    I sincerely thanked that coincidence that felt like it was cheering me on, and pointed at the pendants with my free right hand and said.


    ¡ªI''d like this one, in the colors I mentioned before, please.


    "¡ö¡ö¡ö pri¡öe ¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡ö¡ö. ¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö?"


    "....Heehee. I have the money here! Mister. Could you¡­ um, count it for me? Heehee."


    "¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö? N¡ö ¡ö¡ö¡öbl¡öm a¡ö a¡ö¡ö!"


    Thud, I took out the pouch containing the money from my coat and placed it on the counter.


    With my cloudy vision, as if tears had blurred them, it was difficult even to see the shape or movement of his lips now, so I had no choice but to take out the bundle of coin I had received as allowance and ask him to take the money himself.


    Fortunately, it seemed like this wasn''t his first time dealing with a customer who couldn''t count, he let out a hearty laugh as he took the appropriate amount from the pouch and put the remaining change in the pouch.


    I was truly causing him a lot of trouble in so many ways.


    I sincerely hoped that blessings would be bestowed upon this kind man.


    ¡ª¡ö¡ö


    "¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö, ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö!"


    "...Then, I''ll be going. Keep working hard at your business, Mister."


    Having successfully purchased the gifts, I left the store, greeted by his farewell.


    Rolling, rolling. Like a die rolling with a clatter.


    Everything was going perfectly.


    "....Heehee."


    I stopped in front of the shop''s glass door, adorned with a small bell, and looked at the four gifts for a moment before carefully placing them in the packaged box and tucked them safely inside my coat.


    In the innermost, double-layered pocket on the lower right side of my coat.


    Even if I were to die a pathetic death, the ones I knew would surely receive my gifts well.


    Looking at the still bright street, where dusk hadn''t yet settled, I thought.


    All preparations were complete.


    Now, it was time to confirm the results.


    What number would appear on the top face of the die that had been thrown high into the air.


    But, you see.


    I can¡¯t really check that number, my vision is too poor, you see.


    Hey, hey.


    Sis, can you see?


    ¡ªS¡ö


    "Don''t m¡ö¡ö¡ö. ¡ö¡ö¡ö, ¡ö¡ö¡öch!"


    ".........."


    A chilling voice crawled up my spine.


    Neither the muffled sensation in my ears nor my blurry vision could completely hide the hatred contained within.


    If I were to describe it, It was like the sound of something flowing out from the bottom of hell.


    It must be the voice of a devil who has come up to the surface to take me away.


    "....Hee."


    On the street where the sunset was beginning to settle.


    The twilight of my life, too, began to slowly set.


    **


    Perhaps because she had been dropped alone in a faraway land.


    Han Sia, who had to live her life as a foreigner from birth, was excellent at understanding the relationships between others, but lacked the ability to notice the goodwill directed to herself.


    Even though the kindest person, the one who cared for her more than she cared for herself, was right beside her.


    ¡ªCr¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö!


    "¡ªHyaA!?"


    "....BE qU¡ö¡ö! DoN¡¯T ¡ö¡öV¡ö!"


    No.


    Or perhaps, she unconsciously pushed others away because she was afraid that if anyone approached her, this outcast destined to live a life of rejection and humiliation, her anger, directed at herself, would spill over to her precious people.


    The reason Sia had left with me immediately, without leaving any message or contact with the village, was to avoid being chased by the villagers, and at the same time, to protect those who had shown her even the slightest kindness or concern.


    No matter what, she was, at her core, a kind person who cared for others.


    Thinking about it like that, perhaps what I had said before, about her being similar to me, might actually be true.


    If not that, was she just dense.


    How could she not have noticed the affection that must have been given to her all this time, when there was someone right besides her who would set out on this long journey to find her that suddenly disappeared like this?


    Really, Sis Sia, you''re such an idiot.


    An idiot who doesn''t understand the hearts of others.


    ¡ªThw¡ö¡ö¡ö!


    "¡ªY¡öU ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö, I T¡ö¡öd ¡öOU d¡ö¡öN¡¯¡ö ¡ö, t¡ö¡ös ¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡öuR fAu¡ö¡ö!"


    ".....Heehee, heeheehe."


    "I¡ö IT W¡ö¡ön''t b¡öC¡ö¡ö¡öE oF ¡ö¡öI¡­ H¡ön ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ön''t h¡öVE lEA¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡ö l¡ö¡öe T¡ö¡ö¡ö!"


    Muffled ears and blurry eyes, as if submerged in deep water.


    Beyond that, the world spun rapidly and the chilling clang of metal could be heard.


    Forcing open my eyes that wanted to close, I saw a pair of eyes burning darkly, glaring at me as if they would devour me.


    Her name was Rumi.


    The one who had helped and supported Sis Sia, who was living a difficult life in Saria Village, knowingly or unknowingly from the shadows.


    And the one who had sacrificed me to the villagers in order to save her when she was accused as the culprit for causing the strange phenomena occurring in the village.


    "....Hee¡­ Keh, keheuk....!"


    Imagine my surprise when I remembered running down the alleyway and bumping into her


    Even I, who could remember everyone I had met in my hundreds of lives, even if those memories were now fading, had mistakenly thought I was seeing a stranger when I first saw her.


    Seeing her determination, having followed Sia''s trail all the way here, I thought that she was a fitting person to mark my end.


    For her, my death would be an opportunity to reunite with a long-lost friend.


    And for me, it would be the one and only opportunity to decorate the end of my life beautifully.


    This wasn¡¯t a coincidence, nor a mistake, nor some act of God from the heavens.


    It was possible because it was her, someone who had once tried to kill me, who held the greatest malice and hatred towards me than anyone else.


    That is¡ª


    "...D¡ö¡ö."


    ".....Keh, hah, haha.."


    "Y¡ö¡ö©¤©¤DiE!"


    Killing myself.


    In that desolate and empty village, even if it was limited to a single person, showing compassion towards others wasn''t easy.


    It would have been even harder if that person in question was someone rejected and hated by the majority.


    Therefore, she, who had been able to be kind to others, was also someone I should have saved and helped, in a way.


    But because of my lack of ability.


    Because the number of seeds this small hand could hold was limited.


    Because even burying seeds was difficult with this severed hand.


    I couldn''t even help her, her village, instead, I ended up hurting them even further.


    Therefore, this was a gift for her.


    For everyone whose happiness had been stolen because of me.


    For her, who still held a kind heart.


    Until the very, very end.


    I would continue to sow seeds.


    "......?, ?."


    A breathy sound escaped my parted lips.


    Looking down in confusion, I saw my chest darkening, and a sharp blade that had taken root and growing from my body. Sear?h the N?vel?ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    As expected, the place where I had been stabbed was the center of my chest.


    Where my heart resides.


    ".......??."


    Ah.


    Fortunately, the gifts didn''t seem to be broken.


    If it''s Elli as I know her, she would surely be the first one to find my corpse lying in the dark alley.


    My heart would surely be delivered to them, unbroken and complete.


    Therefore.


    Thanking her for having stabbed me on the opposite side from where the gifts were, a small gesture for her whose life was too precious to end here.


    I offered a small hint.


    So she could safely seize a second chance.


    So she could reunite with the friend she had been searching for so long.


    "....S, ?, sis...¡ª"


    "......?!"


    My final words, uttered with a strained voice.


    Though it might seem like such a waste, so frustrating to think of this as my last will and testament, but.


    Having already expressed all the love and affection I could in my life to my precious treasures. A last will and testament was nothing but a meaningless struggle of fools who couldn''t express themselves in their life, something completely unnecessary for me.


    So, sis.


    As quietly as possible, take off your bloodstained clothes.


    ¡ªAnd go over there.


    Go over there, okay?


    ".....¡ö¡ö,¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö?"


    ..Heehe?e?.


    h???e???e.....h??????e??????e?????.....


    .........h?????????????e??????e????????????h?????????????e??????e????????????.


    **


    And so, the girl named Aris Akaia.


    Was stabbed multiple times in the chest by an unknown assailant in a cold, dark alley of the empire, and murdered.


    Held in the arms of her loved ones who came running after her.


    Quietly, and lonely, without letting anyone know or discovered the ordeal her body had gone through.


    Having achieved all her goals.


    She died happily, with a smile on her face.


    "Truly a HaPpY END, isn¡¯t it."


    **


    NEXT - Sad Ending.


    "If only she had chosen a different path."


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 87: Sad.

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 87 ¡µ Sad.


    * * *


    ***


    Throughout my life, I''ve made many choices.


    These decisions were undoubtedly unavoidable, or so obvious that even if I could go back in time, I would have to make the same choice.


    But even so, there was always, undoubtedly.


    Another version of myself, who wanted to make a different choice, existing somewhere in a corner of my heart.


    Therefore.


    If that version of myself who wished to make different choices were to exist here and now, standing firmly on both feet.


    "¡ªWould the choice I made back then have truly been the right one?"


    That is, can we really say that it was a choice at all?


    The story I''m about to write now is.


    ¡¸Ah.... Aaah....!¡¹


    ¡¸No.... No....!!¡¹


    ¡¸I, I didn''t want this...!¡¹


    A tale built upon the somewhat empty premise of ''what if''.


    ¡¸If only¡­ If only I had made a different choice....¡¹


    A hypothetical story that could be true, or merely a fantasy, a lie, a story that exists everywhere.


    Han Sia.


    This is the story of what would have happened if she had made a different choice.


    ***


    As we live our lives, we pass by countless crossroads, both big and small.


    Those crossroads might be so obvious, so natural that we don¡¯t even realize they are crossroads, not requiring even a moment''s hesitation or contemplation.


    Or they might be so cruel and harsh that they force us standing before them to fall to our knees in despair, staring blankly at the choices ahead.


    Yet, these vastly different, seemingly incompatible paths share one thing in common.


    "¡ªWhat am I supposed to do?"


    "........"


    No matter how right a choice might seem.


    No matter how just a choice might appear.


    Squeezing my eyes shut.


    The moment we cross that threshold, we always leave behind small regrets and lingering feelings on the path we didn''t choose.


    Therefore, humans are perhaps foolish beings, always looking at the path they didn''t take rather than the one they''re walking on.


    "What¡ªwhat am I supposed to say to them?"


    "....Alice."


    "Hmm? Sis Sia? Please¡ª" ¡ªAnswer me.


    "........"


    With those words, Alice closed her mouth.


    Alice''s voice, which had been shaking and agitated as if she was about to burst into tears at any moment, also came to an end.


    What remained was only a deafening silence that seemed to carve into my chest and a darkness that consumed my heart.


    I looked at Alice, hoping she would explain a little more, or rather, that she would just tell me directly if something was bothering her.


    "........."


    "........."


    But.


    In the shadow cast by wandering clouds, Alice quietly looked up at me, her eyes urging me for an answer.


    Her tightly closed lips remained silent.


    She was patiently waiting for my mouth to open.


    Blue-green eyes, which had always held a gentle kindness towards us.


    But now, etched within them was a resolve as strong as that kindness.


    I realized that no amount of evasion or sweet-talking could break this silence.


    The only way to break it was one.


    For me to make a choice.


    For me to answer Alice''s question.


    "I¡ª"


    Alice said she had raised two flowers.


    Like the seeds she had just planted in the flower garden, one rotten and one broken seed that should have been thrown away, she had personally cared for them, one stitch at a time.


    The child who had successfully bloomed two seeds into flowers that everyone thought would fail and be abandoned, now wanted to transplant those flowers outside the greenhouse.


    But was it because of the warmth of the greenhouse.


    Or was it because of the love she had given them all this time.


    The flowers that had grown up with Alice inside the greenhouse didn''t welcome her decision.


    And so.


    The conflicting opinions of the three remained unresolved, and Alice was now agonizing over whether to leave the flowers as they were or to force them outside as she had originally intended.


    This dilemma had now come back to me in the form of Alice''s question.


    It could be seen as an ordinary, everyday conversation, or a question tinged with a child''s unique imagination and fairy tale elements.


    "........"


    But for some reason, to me, it felt like a question carrying a heavy meaning.


    Dark and deep.


    Such a heavy question, so.


    "I¡­!"


    What should I do.


    What choice should I choose?


    Only those thoughts filled my mind.


    The thoughts I''m having now might turn out to be nothing but needless worry when I look back later.


    Like a MacGuffin that only creates suspense and confusion before appearing to be nothing, perhaps I was overthinking and misinterpreting Alice''s words and actions, which were no different from usual.


    Alice''s gloomy expression from just now, her unnatural smile as she stood before me, this sticky, nightmare-like situation on a midsummer night, all of it.


    Could simply return to Alice''s normal self once I close and open my eyes, nothing more than a fleeting moment.


    "......"


    Yes.


    It might be more comfortable and better to think that way.


    But.


    "©¤©¤I.....!!"


    I didn''t want to have any regrets.


    I didn''t want to have any lingering feelings about the choice I was about to make.


    I absolutely refused to do something foolish like kicking the ground later and regretting why I had made such a choice.


    Future misfortunes are the world''s revenge for the moments I spent carelessly.


    And future regrets are the world''s revenge for the choices I made carelessly.


    Therefore, for me, who refused regrets and lingering feelings.


    I had no choice but to put in my utmost effort in every single moment of choice I encountered in life.


    I had no other choice.


    An hour that felt like ten days.


    And a few seconds that felt like an hour.


    After what felt like an eternity of contemplation that would make my brain explode, and a moment of decision that felt like it was tearing my heart out, I¡ª


    "¡ªI think it''s okay to do as the flowers wish."


    "....Ah."


    Because I believed that help should be given when the recipient truly needs and wants it.


    Because I believed that help given when it''s not wanted is really nothing more or less than just for the giver''s own satisfaction.


    Despite knowing that it wasn''t what Alice had originally intended, I ended up uttering those cruel words.


    **


    The nightingale that had been looking towards the faint light of dawn was finally trapped in a small cage.


    Inside, the bird slowly grew sick and started to die.


    Now, what should the bird do.


    "Come, let''s sing of the dawn."


    At the end of the path that was believed to be a crossroads, there was only a single path stretching straight ahead.


    Nowhere was there a new path that one could choose for oneself.


    Nowhere.


    From the very beginning.


    **


    Time flowed on, and the day marking the beginning of a new year arrived.


    Perhaps it''s because of the tradition of spending time with family during the most important holidays.


    After much deliberation, Anna finally decided to return to the kingdom.


    "Uh, uhm? Where''s Sis Sia? Hasn''t she boarded yet?"


    "¡ö¡ö, ¡ö ¡ö¡ö!! ¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡ö ready¡ö! ¡ö ¡ö¡ö¡ö bored¡ö ¡ö¡ö¡ö! ¡ö¡ö ¡ö late¡ö, ¡ö ¡ö¡ö you ¡ö ride¡ö¡ö?"


    "¡ª¡ö ¡ö¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡ö, ¡ö all¡ö strength¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡ö here¡ö¡ö, hup!! ¡ö¡ö, ugh! Last¡­.luggage¡ö!!!"


    ¡ª¡ö¡ö


    That is, taking everyone including me, Remi, Sia, and Saelli.


    With a slight jolt, my blurry vision shook up and down.


    When I asked where Sia was, Remi shouted out the window, and judging by the loud reply coming from behind, I assumed it was definitely Sia''s voice, though she wasn''t here right now, I guess.


    Although the carriage was large enough to accommodate five people with room to spare, the fact that it shook this much from the impact meant that moving the luggage must have been quite a difficult process¡­ I wonder if it''s alright that no one went to help her.


    I thought as I sat inside the carriage, almost ready to depart, my head buried in Elli''s arms beside me.


    ¡ª¡ö¡ö¡ö


    "P¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö R¡ö¡ö¡ö! We''¡ö¡ö ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö to ¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö!"


    "¡ö¡ö¡ö! L¡ö¡ö''¡ö ¡ö¡ö!"


    And a few minutes later.


    As soon as Sia boarded, the distorted scenery around me began to move backwards.


    From the deep forest I had arrived at by being carried by the river¡¯s current, to the Syria village where I met new people, and to the Museion, where I am now.


    The long journey was finally coming to an end, heading towards its final destination, and also the place of its first beginning.


    "~?"


    "¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö, Ali¡ö¡ö?"


    "....Heehee."


    Ears that have completely lost their function as hearing organs, unable to distinguish even human voices.


    All I could do was look around with blurry, smudged vision, observe others'' reactions, and piece together the fragments of those conversations in my mind.


    A daily life of glossing over vague questions with laughter, and responding with irrelevant sounds to conversations.


    On that precarious tightrope, I continued my dangerous balancing act.


    Losing and being robbed of my senses.


    Eventually, on the day when even these eyes lost their sight.


    "....Hee."


    I would no longer be able to be called human.


    I wonder how much longer I can go on.


    I wonder how much longer I can endure.


    In the moving carriage.


    Inside, heading towards the Tesillia Kingdom.


    ".........."


    I couldn''t bring myself to smile. Sear?h the N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    **


    And so, I, the girl named Aris Akaia.


    After returning to the warm palace of the kingdom, as some time passed, my completely blind eyes and deaf ears were finally discovered by everyone.


    Showing the precious people before me that unsightly appearance, slowly dying day by day, like someone who wasn¡¯t meant to live


    Unable to even keep my own resolve of not causing trouble for others.


    I died sadly with a crying face in front of everyone.


    Ah.


    "What a terribly sad ending."


    **


    NEXT - End :¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö


    "If she had chosen ¡ö¡ö in the ¡ö¡ö."


    I will return with the afterword.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 88: Hope. (The End) (1)

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 88 ¡µ Hope. (The End)


    * * *


    **


    Fairy tales, stories born from the hopes and dreams of many.


    But even within those diverse fairy tales, which seem so different that they share no common ground, there exists a single, absolute rule.


    That is, a child who sets off on an adventure will eventually, at the end of their long journey, be reunited with their loved ones.


    The girl who fell asleep while napping peacefully in a field and followed a rabbit into Wonderland.


    The country bumpkin who was suddenly swept away by a tornado and dropped into the magical land of Oz.


    And the dutiful girl who crossed a dangerous forest where a wolf roamed, to visit her sick grandmother, all of them.


    At the end of those stories, sometimes grand, sometimes childish, all conclude with the courageous child who defeats the villains with their wisdom and wit finds their own bluebird and returns to the side of their loved ones.


    Even if the fairy tale ends with the girl being eaten by a wolf, or being forever trapped in the magical land, unable to return to her original home, it doesn''t matter.


    Because we all saw clearly how the children, in their perilous adventures that could have broken their spirits, persevered with kind hearts until the very end.


    And because those who believe in the most valuable and important principle in this world - that good children should rightfully be rewarded - have continuously tried to revise those sorrowful endings.


    Therefore.


    "Hmm? Answer me, Sis Sia¡­!"


    "....I, I."


    What I need to say now.


    What I must do now.


    Wasn''t some trivial question and answer like whether flowers should be forcibly transplanted or if we should do what flowers want.


    Nor was it a story about seeds or flowers, inanimate objects that couldn''t even comfort the child weeping sadly before me.


    Rather, it had to be an action so obvious, so natural, that it didn''t even need to be said.


    "....I, I."


    Clench, I tightened my fist.


    Even though my hand was turning white and blood was slowly seeping out, I didn''t stop.


    If it meant I muster the resolve to shatter this damned tragedy before me, I could endure even worse than this.


    "....I©¤©¤!"


    In the past, I had only been able to cry alone and desolately in the forest.


    Having lost all hope, surrendering to this world that tormented me, living with the thought of just letting my body drift wherever it may go.


    But even to that wretched me, a small hand reached out.


    ¡ªSwish.


    ''Here. Sis, a present for you!''


    ''.........''


    A single child who approached me first.


    Through that child, I caught a glimpse of hope.


    Although what lay ahead of me when I finally lifted my head and looked forward wasn''t always filled with pleasant and exciting things, and sometimes held sad and difficult moments.


    If there''s one thing I could say for sure, it was that.


    ''Hey, Han. You go on this subjugation mission.''


    ''....Eh!? Boss, you''re not trying to dump work on me again, are you?''


    ''....When your superior tells you to go, you go. Why are you talking back so much.''


    I was able to have.


    ''Sia! Do you want to go to the library together? They said new books arrived!''


    ''...Tessa, you''re just trying to make me carry books for you again, aren''t you?''


    ''....Tch, I don''t like perceptive people like you.''


    The opportunity to create.


    ''¡ªSis, heeheehee! I made this in the greenhouse!''


    ''Thank you, Alice! But¡­ are you allowed to just pick flowers from there¡­?''


    ''Ah.''


    ''Ah.''


    One by one, the happy future I had only dreamed of, one so incredibly happy.


    And it wasn''t just me.


    Saelli and Remi Akaia, and Anna Akaia.


    Tessa, Alice''s parents, even the people in the royal palace waiting for her return.


    Countless people had enjoyed, and were still enjoying, happy times thanks to a single child.


    Yes.


    Therefore, this was simply a matter of course.


    The very obvious principle that good children should be rewarded.


    Just like my past self, crying alone and desolately in the forest, the child weeping sadly before me in this greenhouse filled with blooming flowers deserved to be happy more than anyone else.


    Therefore. sea??h th§× nov§×lF~ire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    "©¤©¤I¡¯ll choose the path where you can be the happiest."


    "....What?"


    None other than because I decided so.


    Because it was my choice.


    At the fork in the road split in two directions.


    A crossroads where a choice wasn''t even needed in the first place.


    What I chose on that path was©¤©¤


    "Because I''m hoping for your happiness."


    To warmly embrace the child before me.


    And to pray for the happiness of this kind child.


    My legs were light, and my resolve was more than enough.


    So I walked forward.


    "Alice."


    Because Alice was in front of me.


    **


    My mind, which had been hazy as if covered in fog, cleared up as if a refreshing breeze had passed through.


    ¡ªTap.


    "If I had to choose between the two, I''ll choose the path where you, Alice, can be happy."


    "Ah... No¡­ That''s not the answer I wanted, Sis¡­!"


    One step.


    I firmly planted my foot towards the dark boundary line that existed between us.


    As I approached with big strides, Alice backed away little by little with a fearful expression, but the distance between us was steadily closing as my speed increased, gaining momentum.


    The bright flower bed and the dark flower bed, and between them, a distinct black shadow.


    That dark shape, which had seemed impossible to cross just moments ago, no longer held any meaning beyond a mere shadow before me now.


    For something without even a physical form to hold my ankle back.


    My steps were filled with more certainty than at any other time in my life.


    Yes.


    This was my choice.


    "I, I asked you to choose between the, two¡ª"


    "¡ªAnd I chose, Alice."


    I''m choosing for you to be happy, okay?


    ¡ªTap.


    "....Hee!?"


    Alice, seeing me walking towards her without stopping, took a step back as if she couldn''t believe what she was seeing.


    But I, not to be outdone, closed the distance even further than the distance she had retreated.


    If Alice took one step back, I took two steps forward.


    If Alice quickly ran away, I ran forward with all my might.


    You think you can run away from me, the one who, when given gifts or treats from someone, would forcefully stuff money or snacks back into their pockets even if they refused, until satisfied?


    I wouldn''t let you go, not until I had given you back the amount of happiness you had given me, no, even more than that.


    Call me greedy if you want.


    Because this is my way of life, this is how I, Han Sia, want to live.


    "It doesn''t matter whether you transplant the flowers or leave them be. I''m¡­ somewhat curious what you want, but if there''s something more important than that©¤©¤"


    "....No¡­ Don''t say it, Sis¡­!"


    "©¤©¤I want you, Alice, to be happy."


    "Don''t say it, don''t say it!!"


    A loving family welcoming back the returned girl.


    Hot food waiting for the girl tired from her journey.


    Even the playful antics of animals greeting their long-awaited owner.


    All of these things, the simple things that anyone would call happiness.


    I will give them all to you.


    Because¡ª


    "¡ª¡ªYou deserve to be happy."


    "....Hieeek!?"


    Tap.


    Slowly, Alice''s back, as she had been fearfully stepping backwards, bumped into the transparent wall of the greenhouse.


    Looking back and seeing there was nowhere else to retreat, Alice''s face turned pale with despair. Looking at me, who had now come right up to her, she took a small, sharp breath.


    Watching this, believing that at this close distance, my feelings would surely reach Alice.


    I deeply hoped that my thoughts would be conveyed to Alice without any distortion or alteration.


    I carefully uttered each word, one by one, cherishing them.


    "N-No¡­ Don''t. Look, look at this¡­! I-I''m a child with only one arm¡­!"


    "That has nothing to do with you being happy, Alice."


    I still couldn''t fully understand what Alice was so afraid of.


    What the flowers Alice mentioned meant, what the seeds symbolized, unraveling those hidden secrets was still too difficult for me who lacked understanding.


    The only thing I could vaguely sense was that Alice believed her existence would somehow cause us trouble, and that she was trying to distance herself from us because of that.


    And the fact that we hadn''t noticed this pain until now.


    But.


    Not having an arm isn''t a reason to not pursue happiness.


    Even if one becomes a being who can''t help others and only receives help, that''s not a reason for that person to live an unhappy life.


    I, myself, had learned that from none other than Alice herself.


    I took another step forward.


    "I, I can''t even hold things properly anymore. If this continues, you and everyone will have to help me with everything, even if it bothers you¡­!"


    "Me and those guys would gladly do that, we wouldn''t find it bothersome at all."


    Alice continued to list all the inconveniences we would experience because of her.


    She talked and talked.


    But despite that, the value of the happiness Alice had given us couldn''t be diminished by such trivial matters.


    No.


    Rather, it was far, far from enough.


    I spread my arms wide.


    "M-My ears. My ears aren''t working well either, Sis? See. Look. Look. I keep hearing this ringing sound, constantly¡­!"


    "I will be your ears. Your hands, your arms, your legs. All of it."


    Alice even revealed a shocking fact.


    The child, saying that something was wrong with her hearing, that the reason she had been responding vaguely all this time was because of that.


    For a moment, I wished it was a lie, a bluff to somehow escape this situation, but believing in the child who had never lied to me before, I accepted that reality.


    Yes, so that''s how it was.


    You must have been struggling a lot, Alice.


    I''ll help you with everything.


    ¡ªStep.


    "So, let''s go together."


    "Ah.... Aaah....! No¡­ This isn''t it¡­ Sis¡­ This isn''t right!!"


    But even as my heart ached at the secret Alice had been hiding all this time, I didn''t stop walking.


    The distance between us was now so close.


    Close enough that not even a fist could fit between us, close enough to hear each other''s heartbeats.


    "That''s the problem, Sis Sia! My eyes, even my eyes are getting blurry now too! If this continues, I''ll really become completely useless¡­!!"


    "People aren''t defined by their usefulness."


    I was like that too, in the beginning.


    In the beginning, I really was completely useless, just a freeloader eating Saelli''s food, as she had said.


    But now, how about it?


    I had succeeded beyond everyone''s expectations, earning money on my own, even reaching a position where others addressed me with respect.


    It was all thanks to you, Alice.


    ¡ªTap.


    And I took the last, final step.


    "I¡¯m really nothing but a burden to you all now!"


    "¡ª¡ªYou''re not a burden!!!"


    "Hwaa!?"


    Shouting.


    I tightly embraced Alice''s body.


    I could feel Alice''s slightly cold body temperature, colder than the warmth of the greenhouse, through my clothes.


    Thump, thump, Alice weakly pushed me away with her one arm, pleading to be let go, but I ignored her and instead tightened my grip on the child.


    Don''t try to escape, Alice.


    I still have so many things I want to tell you.


    Good and evil.


    Right and wrong.


    Good things and bad things.


    None of that holds any meaning here and now.


    Hugging a crying child is apart from all these tiresome thoughts.


    Isn¡¯t that the most natural thing a human being should do, something that doesn''t even need to be considered.


    I said.


    "Alice. Actually, I died once and came back to life?"


    ".....Huh?"


    A sudden confession.


    A truth I had never shared with anyone before.


    A memory that no one would believe even if I told them.


    I quietly, but clearly, recounted those eighteen frames of film, one by one.


    "I was living my life like that, meaninglessly, and then, bam, I met you."


    ".....Why?"


    I used to think that my second life was nothing but a curse.


    A life trapped in a hamster wheel, unable to go forward or backward, just following the movements of those around me.


    A life where I couldn''t find value in anything around me, or a reason to live within myself, a life spent weighing my own life on a scale.


    I thought it was God''s curse, to torment me.


    "I had already lived a full life, and had no regrets...."


    "......Why?"


    "So I didn''t have anything I particularly wanted to do, and just chased after fun, which is how I ended up here, but."


    ¡ªBut not anymore.


    I realized the reason I had to start a second life in this unknown world.


    If this was the plan the world had prepared for me and Alice.


    I wanted to shout out loud, I wanted to boldly say to the world, well done.


    "I will live my second life for you. For your happiness, for you to be able to live with a smile. And If even that''s not possible, I''ll share my own happiness with you."


    "......Why, me..."


    "¡ªBecause I like you."


    My second life that seemed like it wouldn¡¯t have any meaning or purpose.


    But in this world, all things rightfully have their reasons for being.


    I had realized that.


    A second life.


    "It seems this was a blessing for me, after all."


    ".......How¡­ How...."


    I decided.


    I firmly established my purpose in this world.


    The value of my life.


    The mission I had to fulfill from now on.


    All of it.


    I will choose.


    "So, Alice."


    "..........."


    Don''t cry.


    Because a smile suits you best.


    **

 Chapter 88: Hope. (The End) (2)

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    And so, the two of us, the girls named Han Sia and Aris Akaia.


    Cried and wailed bitterly while holding each other in the empty greenhouse.


    Falling asleep holding each other''s bodies on the flower bed, overcome by the fatigue that washed over us.


    Ending with an incomplete story, riddled with holes, where we didn''t fully understand each other''s hearts.


    Quietly, but warmly. We promised to face the unknown future with courage.


    In front of everyone who had come to greet us, worried about our late return.


    With an expression warmer than anything else, neither crying nor smiling.


    "Sis Sia is an idiot."


    "...Haha."


    "...An idiot who doesn''t know the hearts of others."


    We were hoping.


    Nothing had been resolved.


    The truth hadn''t yet been revealed, and the darkness created by the endlessly repeating cycle of reincarnation still lurked deep beneath the surface.


    But because one small candle, its faint light that could easily be extinguished by the wind, shone brightly in the darkness. Sear?h the N??elFir§×.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    In that place where only zero had existed, one could finally be established.


    One, called life.


    **


    Episode 4. Reunion(Meeting?).


    The End.


    "This ending is so irresponsible, it can''t be called either happy or sad, huh."


    Nothing, not a single thing has been properly resolved.


    But because it''s so irresponsible, because no one knows.


    That''s why this ending could finally be called¡ª¡ªhope.


    Like a magical box.


    Where you don''t know what''s inside.


    So you can imagine that anything could be in it.


    ** (Author¡¯s Thoughts. Btw, read the one in " " separately from the non dialogue ones, I think the dialogue one is Aris talking? And the non dialogue one is the author talking. This feels like both the author¡¯s thoughts and Aris¡¯s thought, but they don¡¯t interact. IDK Man)


    "This bittersweet story, ends here."


    Hello, this is the author ????


    "Did you enjoy the story of a girl who didn''t value her life, and four girls who once lost their value but regained it?"


    I''m very happy to be concluding the novel like this.


    "What happened to the child after this?"


    About eighty chapters. Four parts of a novel.


    It was a long, long time for me, but it might have been a short time for you, the readers.


    "What did the people left behind do after this?"


    Not a single day since I uploaded the first chapter have I put down this novel. Even on days when I didn''t write, I spent every moment thinking about the next chapter.


    Although I let go of it at times, and it was a novel with many shortcomings, but I want to thank everyone who has been with me so far.


    "I, too, don''t know."


    From Aris, to Sia and Elli, Remi and Anna.


    Everyone who appeared in this writing was all my persona, myself.


    "It could be that everyone becomes broken like in the very first ending, or that everyone is happy for a while like in the second ending, or they might experience both like in the last one."


    They were born solely for me, and I too was born solely for them. When they acted, I wrote it down, and when I wrote it down, they acted.


    It was exactly as the author of Don Quixote said.


    I loved them.


    "Because they could do anything."


    The plot of this novel started from a single, small hypothetical question, just like I wrote in the first chapter: what would happen if everyone was reborn with memories of their past lives?


    The value of life, diminished to its extreme.


    I wanted to portray a person who, like someone risking a broken arm to save another''s life, would sacrifice their own life to prevent someone else''s arm from being broken.


    Well, it might be because I''ve lived that way.


    "Because they can do anything, both what they want and what they don''t want. Whatever they choose, it''s their freedom."


    To speak honestly, I never thought this story would gain so much attention. I wanted to write what I wanted to write, to put my life into it, so I thought no one would be interested in this strange and jumbled story.


    "It might sound irresponsible, but why does that seem more beautiful and feel like true happiness than an ending that simply says ''and they lived happily ever after''?"


    But as I saw the readers'' interest, support, encouragement, and advice pour in one by one, then two by two, I could feel my perspective changing.


    The idea that if you sincerely write the novel you want to read yourself, it will work out.


    "Perhaps it''s because that is, more than anything, real life."


    The unknown.


    Though it''s terrifying more than anything else, it''s also a good thing.


    "Now."


    Now.


    "Here, the story of those five comes to an end."


    The novel ends here.


    "Aris, Elli, Sia, Remi, and Anna will all go on to live their own paths."


    Although there might be epilogues or side stories in the future, the story of the girl named ''Aris'' ends here.


    Well then.


    "To all the readers who have disappeared while reading my novel."


    To all the readers who have been reading my novel for a long time.


    "Thank you very much."


    Thank you all.


    **


    **


    Tap, tap.


    Over the deserted city, a dark bluish twilight was settling in.


    The time when scavengers prowling the streets like hyenas rummaging through garbage cans, vagrants glaring from dark alleys hunting for victims, all return to their dens and firmly lock their doors as if they had all agreed to.


    The twilight hour, when the world was consumed by darkness and humanity disappeared, had begun.


    Wanderers with nowhere to call home, like moths drawn to a flame, would gather under the streetlights emitting their faint glow, huddling together and praying with their eyes closed for this night to pass.


    In the old town where rules and order ceased to exist.


    The day there, too, was nearing its end.


    But unfortunately.


    Very much, unfortunately.


    ¡ªTap, tap!


    "¡ª¡ªHa, ah."


    My day had only just begun.


    With each step, each footfall, the pain renewed itself.


    It would be nice if I could get used to it.


    This agony, like being repeatedly pierced by a burning hot skewer, like someone''s hand tearing into my stomach and rummaging through my insides, was the kind of pain that I could never get used to, no matter how much I wanted to.


    Anyone who says they''re used to this pain must be either physically (sensory) deranged or mentally deranged, one of the two for sure.


    In the end, unable to endure the persistent wooing of pain any longer, my lips, which had been tightly shut to avoid making noise, parted, and a groan escaped from within.


    A small cry of "Haa".


    A sound that would have been lost and vanished, buried under the sound of the wind, if one hadn''t listened carefully.


    But what was unfortunate for me was that for those who called the silent streets their home, it was the greatest guide.


    ¡ªTap, tap!!


    "©¤©¤©¤She''s close by!!"


    "......?,?."


    Fucking, crazy bastards.


    It was just a small groan that had escaped.


    Hearing the approaching footsteps like a horde of zombies from all directions, I chewed on curses in my mind, unable to spit them out of my mouth.


    What came to mind at this moment is the face of that damned bastard.


    ''...You....you, bas¡­tard!?''


    ''Haha. This really works like a charm? Well, I guess even noona is human. Even if it¡¯s noona, what can you do if you get stabbed with a knife¡ªyou die, of course.''


    With a squelch.


    The bastard who had been calling me ''noona, noona'' and swearing loyalty to me just moments before, suddenly grinned and stabbed me in the stomach with a knife, I was so taken aback by the sudden change.


    Even at the moment when the knife entered my stomach, I didn''t feel any pain, probably because I was so dumbfounded.


    No.


    What I felt might have been betrayal.


    Don¡¯t know whether I should call it lucky or unlucky that this kind of thing even happened in the first place.


    Since luckily, thanks to the help of a few nearby subordinates, I was able to escape that place, but apparently that crazy bastard was more prepared than I had thought.


    God-damn, how long had he been planning this.


    A year ago? Two years ago? Or maybe from the moment we first met?


    As time passed, the number of people chasing me was only increasing, not decreasing.


    Fuck.


    "....?....?."


    According to rumors I heard, there had been many suspicious things said about him, but I hadn''t been distrustful of him because he had been working well as a capo by my father''s side for the past ten years


    And then, to pull something like this right after my father passed away.


    I should have seen it coming when I thought his smiling face started to piss me off¡ª


    ¡ªTap!


    ".....!?"


    Ah.


    ¡ªThud!


    "....?, ku?¡­!?"


    I accidentally tripped on a rock and stumbled, and unable to maintain my balance, I fell straight to the ground.


    At the edge of the unmaintained park, overgrown with tall weeds that reached an adult''s waist.


    Fortunately, the ground was made of a rubber-like material that absorbed the impact, so there wasn''t much damage, but even that small shock felt like a huge impact to my body.


    And of course, the pain was also fully transmitted to the wound in my stomach, where I had forcibly stopped the bleeding by stuffing my hand in.


    ¡ªWriggle, wriggle.


    "....?....??!!"


    Like an earthworm twisting its long body after being stepped on, all I could do was writhe on the ground, showing my pain.


    Fuck.


    Motherfucking.


    When I get back, I''ll kill them all.


    When I get back¡­. everyone¡­!


    "......?!...?!"


    ¡ªCrunch.


    I bit my tongue hard to drown out the pain with more pain, desperately trying not to make a sound.


    And I, worried that they might hear the sound of me falling and track me down, crawled into the thickly grown flower bed


    This pitch-black darkness would hide me, at least for a while.


    Unsurprisingly, there wasn''t anything convenient like a cell phone for me to call for help.


    That bastard, probably having thought it through, had asked me to hand over my cell phones at the entrance.


    I had doubts, but since he didn''t take away weapons or anything, I had assumed it was just for security reasons and let it slide. That was the fatal mistake.


    Well, even if I had a cell phone, I''m not sure if I could operate a phone or send a text in this situation anyway.


    "........."


    My hands were covered in blood, trembling uncontrollably.


    And from my mouth, only faint groans escaped.


    Let alone holding a phone, even gripping one would be difficult.


    I looked down at my stomach.


    The once-white dress shirt was already torn in several places, and right in the center, it was stained with flowing blood and dirt from rolling on the ground.


    Even though no vital organs had been hit, with a wound like this, I would no doubt collapse soon.


    And those back-alley hospitals that could save my life would undoubtedly be surrounded by that bastard''s men.


    Well, at least he''s smart.


    Damn smart, that one.


    "........"


    I mentally accepted my death.


    I accepted the end that would come, indifferently.


    Even though I knew that I was pretty much admitting defeat, I couldn''t do anything about it.


    Although I wasn''t born with a genius-level brain, I wasn''t born with a dull brain either.


    I realized that there was no way to overcome this situation, no matter how I thought about it.


    And I had accepted the fact that no matter how much I burned with rage, no matter how much I let hatred fuel my movements, there was no way to solve this hopeless problem.


    "...The stars are bright, fuck."


    So, instead of regretting, I lifted my head and looked up at the sky.


    Here, where the faint glow of dusk had completely vanished, with no light source to interfere, I admired the stars dotting the sky.


    Inwardly vowing to wait for that son of a bitch in hell first.


    Promising to secure the hottest spot with the best view and wait for him.


    Matching each constellation to that bastard''s features, chuckling, feeling a sense of satisfaction, if only in my imagination.


    "....Haa."


    Like that.


    I slowly waited for death to come upon me.


    And to me in that state.


    "¡ªUnni, what are you doing there?"


    "¡ª?!"


    A somewhat young.


    A girl''s voice that shouldn''t be heard in this place reached my ears.


    That was my first encounter between me and that child.


    ["Hey¡­! Ugh!! How is this, in any way¡­ a hospital..!? Ah, fuck it hurts like hell!! At least, not going to a hospital was¡­ a good decision, but¡­!!"]


    [".....Hmm? Isn''t this a hospital too?"]


    ["This is an ''animal hospital''...! Ugh, fuck¡­! Was there even a place like this¡­?"]


    The one who, though nameless for now, said she wanted to be called ''Aris''.


    ["...Aris. What did you bring back today?"]


    ["Heehee, Mihyang unni~ I brought a sick animal!"]


    ["The day before yesterday it was a leopard cat, yesterday a wild boar, and today¡­ a person. I keep wondering what you''ll bring tomorrow¡­ Haa, anyway, just bring that person inside."]


    ["Okay~"]


    ["...You''re not even asking for my opin¡ª¡ªugh!?"]


    My encounter with a somewhat unique, or to put it badly, a girl who seemed a bit mentally off.


    ["Unni~!" "Aris unni~!" "Noona, are you hurt anywhere!?" "I brought a weird unni~!" "And next to her is¡­ who is that¡­"]


    ["©¤©¤This place is my treasure."]


    [".....You."]


    ["It''s my very own ''orphanage'', for abandoned and discarded children!"]


    That was the beginning.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 89: 888. Chapter of the Zombie and the Girl (1)

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 89 ¡µ 888. The Chapter of the Zombie and the Girl (1)


    * * *


    **


    Crunch, crack, munch.


    Things in the shape of humans were grabbing and devouring other things also in the shape of humans.


    "Dammit¡ª! Hwa-min, Yeon-Ah! Everyone run, don''t look back!!"


    "Wh-what the hell, Jung-eun!? Those things, until just now, there wasn''t a single one of them anywhere nearby! Why did they suddenly swarm in like that!?"


    "How should I know©¤©¤!? Everyone grab a stick or something, and run instead of wasting time thinking!"


    Red, white, yellow, and back to red again.


    No matter where you looked in any direction, the world was filled with shrivelled up chunks of fat and bloody handprints.


    "What is with these things! They''re multiplying!? Did they gather like, every single one of them in the area or something!?"


    "Th-then what do we do now, Jung-eun sunbae?! The path we came from earlier is completely blocked too...!!"


    "Fuck...fuck....!!"


    Corpses that should be resting peacefully in the afterlife have shattered the laws of nature to come out and roam the streets.


    In this horrific space, as if the hell they spoke of in religion had descended upon reality, no, where even an expression like that couldn¡¯t begin to describe the disaster unfolding before us.


    At that critical moment, right before being grabbed and devoured by those maggot-infested creatures.


    ¡ªTap, tap!


    "¡ªCome inside, unnies!"


    """.....?!"""


    We, as if in a scene from a movie.


    The door of a house in the distance that until just now was firmly shut suddenly had a small gap, and peeking her head out from it while waving her small hand at us telling us to come in was.


    "Heehee~ Unnies. Quickly, hurry hurry!"


    "¡ªA girl, child?"


    We met a single young girl.


    Whether it was due to the suspension bridge effect coming to me who had been extremely agitated until then, or due to something else, I couldn¡¯t say for sure at this moment.


    With her white hair and eyes, everything about her visible appearance was white. If this had been a dream, I might have mistaken her for a fairy. I felt my heart pounding at that beauty and mystique. S~ea??h the N?velFire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    And standing stock still in the middle of the road, forgetting even the current situation where a horde of zombies was approaching right before my eyes.


    "....Pretty."


    I found myself murmuring those words.


    This is a record of the forty-two days I, the eighteen-year-old Lee Hwa-min, spent with that child whose everything was white, a record of everything that happened during that time when the world was hurtling towards its end.


    Something I absolutely cannot forget, that I absolutely must not forget.


    The journal of those 42 days that are more precious to me than anything else.


    **


    **


    That day was, if we were to describe it, an extremely ordinary day.


    A day when we were more concerned about what university we would go to in two years than what we would become several years later.


    A day when we were more worried about the pop quiz we would have in class a week from now than the regular exams that would be held a few months later.


    A day when we were more concerned about what to eat for lunch at the school cafeteria over the homework we had to turn in the next afternoon.


    That kind of day where nothing suits it better than the phrase ordinary.


    "©¤©¤©¤©¤Kyaaaaaah!!"


    Along with a scream that felt like it would pierce my ears, likely belonging to someone I knew but whose name I don¡¯t remember.


    The world, as if everything that had happened up until now was a lie, suddenly hurtled towards its end.


    Everything I had thought about, worried over, or agonized over until that day.


    Like a sandcastle on the beach swept away by the waves, unable to leave any trace that it had ever existed anywhere.


    It all lost its meaning.


    At that time, I learned that reality is sometimes more unbelievable than lies.


    The knowledge and experiences gained from education, something we had dedicated practically half our lives to since we gained consciousness, were utterly useless before the disaster that had struck.


    All that remained for us in that critical situation were the friend who by chance happened to be standing next to me, my junior in the club one year below, and the heavy backpacks hastily stuffed with food items off the shelves of a convenience store we spotted while fleeing.


    ¡ªBang!


    ''Guys! Grab everything you see here and just shove it in for now!''


    ''...Um, Jung-eun sunbae? Hwa-min sunbae? Are, are we allowed to just take these?''


    ''Ah just do it! I''ll pay for it or give up my kidney or whatever later, so for now just shove it all in first!''


    ''Hmm... If anything goes wrong, we can just point the finger at Jung-eun.....Yeon-Ah, for now let''s grab it all.''


    ''©¤You damn bitches!?''


    The only reason we were able to get our hands on even that small amount of food was thanks to the insistence of Jung-eun, the most assertive among us, though her words were a little rough.


    When the incident first happened, the reality hadn''t fully sunk in yet, and the sense of morality that is now shot to hell was abundant in me and Yeon-ah back then, so the two of us could only hesitate without taking initiative.


    But Jung-eun was different.


    To us, who were wavering, she said that if any problems arose later she would take full responsibility, so we should empty our backpacks, throw away all the books, and fill them with canned food and shelf-stable instant meals. Thanks to her words, we started picking up the food we usually wanted to eat and putting them in our bags.


    After that, following Yeon-Ah¡¯s suggestion, we took shelter in a building complex with multiple entrances and exits, where it would be easy to observe our surroundings and prepare for any unexpected situations. Finally, we were able to catch our breath.


    Thinking back on it now, it really does seem like it was a smart choice.


    Young as she may be, Yeon-ah isn''t at the top of the school for nothing.


    Anyway, after many twists and turns, on that first day we faced.


    We sat on the top floor of the building complex counting down the minutes until the rescue team that would resolve this situation arrived, occasionally making silly remarks to Jung-eun about how she was ''our hero!'' whenever she suggested we secure more food.


    ''Actually, I''ve been waiting for a friend like you for a long time.''


    ''....I believed in Jung-eun sunbae from the very beginning.''


    ''You damn bitches! Are you even human?''


    The curses we received in return were comforting enough to make us momentarily forget about our difficult situation.


    Perhaps, it was for that reason that we all tried to laugh while talking about trivial things.


    ¡ªGyaaaaah!


    ''Eun-ji¡­! Why, why are you doing this!! Ah, ahhh! St-stop, stop...! aaaAAHHHHHHH©¤!!!!''


    ''¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö©¤©¤!''


    Even if just to forget the horrific scene from moments ago, when friends who had been laughing and chatting together, closer than anyone else, suddenly turned and began to devour each other.


    ''Mom...!? Mom, what''s wrong! What''s that noise next to you!!''


    ''M-My parents¡­ they¡¯re not answering the phone¡­''


    ''.........''


    In order to push away the dark thoughts and speculations of what terrible things might have happened to our families who couldn''t be reached.


    "Haha."


    [''S-save me.....! Please, help meeeEEE!!'']


    """©¤©¤Hahahahaha!"""


    In order to ignore the pleas of those still being grabbed by countless zombies below, shouting for us to save them with bloodshot eyes and screaming voices.


    We kept talking, and talking, and had to keep talking.


    We shouted until our voices were hoarse, laughed until no more tears came, and stared at each other''s faces to avoid looking at our surroundings.


    Because we firmly believed that soon, everything would be resolved.


    That with a single line appearing briefly in the news, everything would end and we would return to our normal daily lives.


    But.


    ''...Why? Why isn''t anyone coming?''


    ''S-Sunbae... Look, that building...it''s burning.''


    What awaited me, my friend Jung-eun, and my junior Yeon-ah one year below.


    Was just the despairing reality of the survivors gradually disappearing from sight while the horde of zombies only grew, and the increasing number of columns of smoke rising from burning buildings in the distance.


    That''s right.


    Even after half a month had passed since the outbreak, the situation that we thought should have died down long ago was only sinking into deeper chaos.


    As time passed and more than half of the food we had prepared was gone, we realized that instead of hoping for rescue we now had to worry about what we would eat a week from now, we came to an agreement to leave our hideout in the building complex and move to a place with a large supermarket that would have relatively more to eat.


    Assuming that most people would have come to the same conclusion, we were also hoping to encounter other survivors, or perhaps even our families who couldn''t be reached, a hope that fueled our decision.


    Even if it was a futile hope.


    And so, after roughly grasping the general locations, numbers, and behavior patterns of the zombies we had observed out of boredom from the rooftop.


    We spent two days gathering weapons and equipment to clear the path and thoroughly prepared ourselves before setting off on our journey.


    But.


    Unlike what we had observed from the window, what awaited us outside was a massive horde of zombies, like a surging wave.


    And so, I.


    No, we.


    ¡ªTap.


    "©¤©¤Met you."


    "Uuu... It must have been so hard for you, unnies."


    "...Haha."


    I gazed at the child leaning against my chest and looking up at me, and took a drink of water to wet my somewhat burning throat after finishing the long story.


    The lukewarm yet clean water sloshed in the clear glass bottle.


    With a gulp, I was able to drink bottled water for the first time in a while, but.


    For some reason, the water tasted so bitter and salty, not at all to my liking.


    Yeah.


    "It really must have been hard."


    "......Ha...ha...."


    "©¤It''s okay now. It''s okay, unnie."


    It was so, so bitter that tears flowed out without me realizing it.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 90: Chapter of the Zombie and the Girl (2)

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 90 ¡µ 888. The Chapter of the Zombie and the Girl (2)


    * * *


    **


    It''s true what they say about a blessing in disguise.


    (TL Note: Original idiom is ¡®????¡¯ or ¡®A misfortune turns into a blessing¡¯)


    The situation we had only viewed as a crisis turned out to be a blessing for us.


    Of course, it would have been better if the crisis hadn''t come knocking at all in the first place.


    ¡ªKnock, knock.


    "Thank you! You saved our lives."


    "¡ªHeehee. It was nothing. Come on, unnies! Follow me this way!"


    Thanks to the kind child''s help, Jung-eun, Yeon-ah and I were able to dramatically escape amidst the horde of zombies.


    Expressing our gratitude for her help, we all followed the beckoning hand gestures of the child, leaving the locked gate behind and entering into the house with the eye-catching blue roof.


    Thump, thump.


    Even after we entered the house, the incessant noise of the zombie horde pounding on the firmly locked iron gate and fence did not end.


    But despite those horrific sounds that should have made us tremble in fear, our hearts were slowly finding peace.


    Compared to the previous situation where zombies had come right up to us, extending their hands, the fact that we had entered a house surrounded by a stone wall coated with thick concrete and sturdy bricks gave us more reassurance than anything else.


    And when we thought about it like that, the current pounding just sounded like the frustrated attempts of zombies who couldn''t enter.


    In short, it meant this.


    Serves you right ¡ª you bastards.


    ¡ªThump, thump, thump, thump!


    ["¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö!"]


    ["¡ö¡ö¡ö,¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö!!"]


    "........."


    Like raindrops tapping against a window.


    The splattering sound of their rotten hands and faces colliding with the gate continued even as we locked the front door and entered the room.


    Knock, knock.


    It continued on.


    [''¡ö¡ö¡ö!'']


    "........"


    ....Continuously.


    When this utterly unpleasant sound finally stops, it will mean one of two things.


    Either the zombies have grown tired of knocking on the gate, given up on trying to catch us, and dispersed to chase after other groups of survivors wandering outside.


    Or the walls protecting us had finally given way under the zombies'' relentless assault, instantly turning this house that had felt so safe into our very own coffin.


    Our deaths. Or the deaths of strangers whose names we didn''t even know.


    That cruel choice between the two.


    And it meant that no matter which one happened, only someone''s death would remain in the end.


    Well¡ª


    That''s that, and this is this.


    ¡ªSlide.


    "Uwaaa... Jung-eun, I''m dying¡­"


    "Don''t talk to me, Hwa-min. I have no energy left to answer¡­"


    "Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk©¤©¤"


    "....I''ll kill you when you get up. Really."


    Right now was the time to put aside heavy thoughts like death and take a little rest.


    Jung-eun and I had all our tension released from the relief of surviving, and as if by agreement, we both collapsed in front of the entrance, putting on our usual comical skit.


    Only the well-mannered Yeon-ah remained uniquely upright (sitting) with her head held high, conversing with the small child who had saved us.


    "Heehee~ Are you tired, unnies? I''ll bring you something to drink! Just wait here a bit, okay?"


    "Please do¡­ So, um¡­ child, what should we call you? Ah, first, my name is ''Seon Woo-yeon''. My friends call me Yeon-ah. And the two lying here are my Sunbae, Lee Hwa-min and Park Jung-eun."


    ".....Hmm."


    At Yeon-ah''s words introducing herself and us.


    The child paused briefly while looking around at us, then answered with a bright smile.


    Each syllable.


    Clearly and distinctly, as if to ensure there would be no chance of any misunderstanding.


    "©¤©¤Hee-ah. My name is Hee-ah. Nice to meet you, Yeon-ah unnie!"


    "...Yes! Nice to meet you too, Hee-ah!"


    Well, even though Yeon-ah was putting on airs like that by herself.


    She was in the same state as us, kneeling on the floor and looking up at the child.


    The house we entered following the snow-white girl, who introduced herself as Hee-ah, was surprisingly spacious, larger than we had expected.


    It was like one of those big houses you might visit during holidays in the countryside, where multiple relatives live together.


    We had no choice but to quickly enter the house following the child in the pressing situation, with no leeway to look around our surroundings, but even taking that into account, the size of the house equipped with multiple bathrooms and even a bathtub was astonishing enough to surprise not just me, but Jung-eun and Yeon-ah as well.


    Of course, surprise aside.


    "Waaah... Mama Jung-eun, I''m tired. Give me some water."


    "....Get lost, brat. And stop acting cute. You wanna die? Want me to throw you to the zombies to die?"


    Rub rub©¤


    The first thing we did was to collapse onto the fluffy carpet laid across the living room floor.


    A week''s worth of food supplies and several weapons, including wooden clubs.


    And the thick leather outfits we had bundled ourselves up in from head to toe in case of getting bitten were enough to make us collapse even in the still-cool weather of spring.


    "¡ªTa-da! Unnies, Hee-ah brought wat....eh.....? Huh, unnies, are you hurt somewhere!? Why are you all lying down!?"


    "Ah, Hee-ah, you''re here. Thank you¡­ But we don''t have the energy to move our hands right now, so if you could just leave it there, we''ll drink it later. And don''t mind those two over there."


    For that reason.


    Rolling around, Jung-eun and I were like college students who had drunk too much after a company dinner.


    We were sprawled pathetically on the carpet made of felt, wriggling our bodies here and there like caterpillars.


    Next to us, Yeon-ah was sitting with her head bowed, covering her red face with both hands.


    Sorry, Hee-ah. We showed you something unsightly.


    So please don''t look at us like that.


    "Really, such embarrassing sunbaes¡­"


    "....Heehee."


    Seeing this, Hee-ah laughed awkwardly.


    Like that.


    After the somewhat eventful, peaceful moment of rest passed.


    Perhaps we were hungry for new encounters in our isolated and stagnant lives.


    "We©¤©¤"


    We pathetically gulped down the water brought by a child who seemed several years younger than us, and sitting in front of Hee-ah who had taken her seat, we began our story.


    Starting with a simple introduction of myself, Jung-eun, and Yeon-ah.


    How we came to be here, what urgent situations we had been through.


    And why we had been running from zombies just moments ago.


    All of that horrific past.


    Looking back now, the story we told then was not something that should have been told in front of a child.


    A story that would only make the listener uncomfortable, dredging up dark and painful memories, was certainly not something to be told in front of a child who wasn''t even ten years old yet.


    The child too must have witnessed such scenes before.


    But.


    We were so cornered at that time that we couldn''t even think of such obvious things.


    ¡ªTap.


    "©¤©¤Like that, hearing people''s screams from the rooftop....we....we....!"


    "......Yes. I''m listening, Hwa-min unnie."


    Though she knew that better than anyone.


    Thuk, and. The words I had spat out on a whim, intending to complain just once, poured out uncontrollably like water spilling from a punctured embankment.


    And swept away by the storm of emotions pouring out uncontrollably, we began spilling out everything about ourselves, forgetting that the person listening to our story in front of us was a child.


    "I too...! We too! We wanted to save them...wanted to, save them...!"


    "...I see."


    As we continued talking, our emotions grew more intense, tears would sometimes flow from our eyes without realizing it.


    Sometimes wailing and crying out loud while embracing the child who had snuggled into our arms, saying she would listen.


    Feeling the child''s unique warmth, so hot it was almost burning, we would be reminded that we were still alive.


    Like that, we poured out our hearts, our stories that no one else knew, to a girl we had only known for less than two hours, as if to release all our pent-up frustrations.


    That I, that we had gone through so much hardship.


    That we had walked such a difficult path.


    Just because we wanted to say those words.


    Just because we wanted to be comforted for our journey so far, to hear someone say we had worked hard.


    "¡ªAnd so, that''s how we met you."


    "...Mm-hmm. I see."


    Without complaining that she didn''t want to hear such things.


    Rather, with a bright smile, she agreed with us and listened attentively to our stories.


    In front of the child, we all unraveled the sad emotions we had kept in our hearts, sharing the pain and hurt we had accumulated in our chests.


    But if there was one thing we had overlooked at that time.


    "It must have been really tough."


    "......ha...ha...."


    "¡ªIt''s okay now. It''s alright, unnie."


    It''s that not a single one of us. No, not even one person.


    Had thought to listen to the child''s story.


    We couldn''t notice it then, but in the spacious interior of the house, no sign of human presence could be felt aside from us.


    Only after some time had passed and we had regained enough peace of mind to calmly look around the house out of curiosity could we feel the sense of dissonance.


    Among them, what stood out the most was a spot where a lovely ivory-colored wallpaper was neatly applied.


    The place where a dazzling family photo of three was hanging.


    At the far left and right ends of the photo stood two people presumed to be the girl''s parents, wearing neat clothes.


    With black hair and black eyes, the two who looked like typical Koreans were subtly turning their heads away from each other, as if shy.


    But even so, the faint blush on both of their faces and the natural distance and fresh, innocent vibe between them couldn''t be hidden.


    And.


    "....Hee-ah?"


    In between them was a child with snow-white hair who I could immediately recognize as the girl from earlier, was smiling brightly, her arms tightly linked with theirs.


    Squeeze. I wonder how much strength she used, as even through the photo, wrinkles were clearly visible on their arms where Hee-ah was holding.


    The strong force emanating from her tightly grasped hands, as if determined to never let go, made me think that it was the girl, not the two shy people beside her, who had initiated taking this picture.


    The child, with cute dimples on her cheeks, smiling brightly as if happier than anyone else to be creating a beautiful memory with her family.


    That alone was like a work of art representing the beauty of family love.


    [''©¤©¤¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö¡ö!!!'']


    "........."


    Or perhaps, it might have been a work that evoked a heartbreaking story just by its existence.


    Why was a young child living alone in this large house.


    Where had the two who looked like her parents in the photograph gone, leaving her behind.


    How could this child smile so brightly inside this large, empty house?


    A question that I would have asked casually without thinking much of it in an ordinary, everyday life, and received an ordinary answer like, ''They''re on a trip together,'' or ''They''re away on business,'' something not particularly special.


    ¡ªThump!


    "¡ªUnnies can use this room! Heehee, I wonder if there are enough blankets?"


    """........""" Sear?h the N?vel(F)ire.¦Çet website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    But only just realizing, taking far too long to notice.


    The chilling truth that probably everyone, including me, had reached.


    None of us.


    Could dare to speak to the child, who was busily pulling out blankets from the closet with a smiling face.


    Perhaps because of the overwhelming sense of helplessness and guilt of having missed the time when we should have asked.


    For the simple reason that we had no confidence to ask about it now that the moment had long passed.


    "....Yes. This is, more than enough."


    We simply watched as the time we had already missed continued to slip away.


    Unable to even ask that short, single question: Are you okay, Hee-ah?


    We just remained silent with our mouths firmly shut.


    **


    * * *

 Chapter 91: Chapter of the Zombie and the Girl (3)

    TL/Editor: Butter Cat


    Status: 4/week mon-thurs


    Illustrations: none


    Join the discord! Here


    * * *


    ¡´ Chapter 91 ¡µ 888. The Chapter of the Zombie and the Girl (3)


    * * *


    **


    "¡ªYou can eat anything you want here!"


    "....Wow."


    "This is incredible. How much is all this worth?"


    After crying our eyes out and making a complete fool of ourselves in front of the child.


    Following Hee-ah, who said she had something to show us, we entered into what was, unbelievably, a storage room filled with stacks of food.


    Perhaps this explained how a young child with no guardian had managed to survive alone in this insane world.


    Inside, there were vegetables and fruits that, though slightly wilted, hadn''t rotted or discolored, along with solid food ingredients like curry powder, and even smoke-cured and salt-preserved chunks of meat.


    Due to the power outage, most of the temperature control and air circulation systems weren''t working anymore, unfortunately.


    However, thanks to its location in a shaded basement, the storage room maintained a natural coolness even without any special equipment.


    Thanks to the early spring season and the consistently low temperatures, even food that would easily spoil at room temperature had been preserved without rotting.


    Of course, some of them were starting to get soggy and squished from the long storage, but it''s not like we would die from eating them.


    And so, we stood there dumbfounded, our mouths agape, before a mountain of stored food.


    The supermarket was right here all along.


    "....Um, Hee-ah. Are you really sure it''s okay for us to eat these things here?"


    "Yes, Yeon-ah unnie! I can''t eat it all by myself anyway... Heehee. And there are some things I don''t like."


    Yeon-ah carefully asked Hee-ah.


    It would be a lie to say we didn''t feel any guilt or remorse.


    No, it wasn''t just us, anyone with a normal sense of morality would undoubtedly feel that way.


    No matter how much food there was for the small Hee-ah to eat alone, and no matter how much of it would eventually have to be thrown away if left untouched, it was still true that we, high school students, were taking a child''s food.


    And we didn''t even have the ability to properly repay her, as all we had were tasteless canned goods.


    That''s why Yeon-ah had asked Hee-ah several times if we were really allowed to eat it, but....


    "If my unnies eat, I''ll be happy too!"


    "........"


    The child was not only saying it was fine, but actually asking us to eat it.


    Well, what can you do when she puts it that way.


    "...We''ll gratefully eat then, Hee-ah."


    "Thank you... Really, thank you."


    In the end, it was us who had grown tired of the endless parade of canned food and instant meals.


    And judging that it would be rude to keep refusing, we moved toward the fresh foods with grateful but bitter smiles, making sure to express our thanks to the child.


    And so.


    As we inhaled the fresh grassy scent coming from the vegetables.


    Excitedly thinking, ''Should we make curry for dinner tonight since there are so many vegetables?''©¤©¤


    Ah.


    "©¤©¤Hey. By the way, does anyone here know how to cook?"


    """.......Ah."""


    ¡ªPause.


    As if someone had pressed the pause button on a video.


    Looking at the two people frozen mid-stride, I thought.


    It seemed our crisis wasn''t over yet.


    "........"


    ...What do we do.


    I''ve never cooked before either.


    Whoosh.


    A slightly chilly basement breeze swept past us.


    **


    ¡ªThud.


    "Unnies! Enjoy your meal!"


    """..........."""


    Mother.


    Today, I committed a heinous sin.


    What should we, who have committed an unforgivable sin, do now.


    Does salvation truly exist.


    I honestly don''t know anymore.


    "Jung-eun. I guess I''m trash after all..."


    "....You''re right, Hwa-min. To think humans are capable of falling this low."


    "Hwa-min sunbae, open your eyes! Jung-eun sunbae, please get up too! It''s okay! Even though we cried and snotted all over ourselves in front of a child and let her comfort us, even though we don''t know how to cook and had to ask the child to make food for us instead... there''s still meaning in living... right? No, is there really?"


    Even Yeon-ah, who had been trying her best to offer a glimmer of hope, had fallen.


    The three of us sat with our heads respectfully bowed on the table, faced with the beautiful golden curry that the child had cooked.


    Meanwhile, Hee-ah, the one who had cooked the curry, watched us with question marks floating above her head, completely puzzled by what was happening. sea??h th§× n??el Fire.n§×t website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.


    It''s nothing, Hee-ah.


    We''re just having an existential crisis, that''s all.


    By the way.


    Who would have thought that among three high school girls, not a single one would know how to cook?


    Was this the downside of modern education, which only teaches specialized knowledge in one area while neglecting other practical skills.


    Perhaps all schools should reduce the weight of regular subjects and increase the time spent on practical skills classes like home economics, where they teach cooking.


    No matter how much they say a person''s worth isn''t determined by their usefulness¡­


    Being this utterly useless felt like we had failed as human beings.


    "....But I at least know how to make ramyeon, Hwa-min sunbae."


    "Even my dog Poppy knows how to do that, Yeon-ah."


    I ignored Yeon-ah''s lame excuse.


    Insisting that you absolutely need a scale and measuring tools to cook, what kind of rubbish is that.


    That''s just a chemistry experiment, it''s questionable whether you can even call it cooking.


    It seemed poor Yeon-ah''s brain had been completely devoured by studying.


    Still, at least Yeon-ah knows how to make ramyeon, she was an angel.


    The real problem was right next to me.


    "....What are you looking at, Hwa-min."


    "Nothing, I''m just amazed."


    How could a human being even think like that.


    From claiming that plastic wrap won''t melt when exposed to fire, to insisting that soup gets blander the more it reduces. Jung-eun had given answers so wrong they seemed intentional when I''d tested her cooking knowledge.


    I looked at her face, hoping it was a joke, but she was more serious than I''d ever seen her.


    And I realized, this girl was for real.


    Of course, I was so dumbfounded that I asked Jung-eun when was the last time she''d touched cooking utensils in her life.


    And what I received in return was the legendary answer that she''d touched them while playing a dumpling-making game on a flash game website.


    I grabbed my head with an "Ah" of despair.


    It seemed that today, I had witnessed the very depths of human depravity, the very limits of how twisted a person''s common sense could be.


    Well, now that things had come to this.


    Maybe I could claim victory since I at least knew how to make soy sauce egg rice.


    "©¤Ah. That''s not really something to brag about, sunbae."


    "Hey, Lee. Less talking, more moving side dishes."


    "....Yes, ma''am."


    Clink, clink.


    The sound of dishes clinking against each other filled the dining table.


    This is too much.


    As a side note, the curry the child made was devastatingly delicious.


    It would have been better if it tasted bad, but from the aroma alone this curry screamed ''This is delicious because it was made with care~!'' - to the point where everyone at the table was forced to reflect on their own cooking abilities.


    Later, there was a debate about who would get the rights to the few remaining ladles of curry, but let''s skip over that.


    "Heehee. Thank you for enjoying it! There are still ingredients left, should I make more?"


    "...No. We''re sorry. We''re really sorry. So please, stop saying that, Hee-ah...."


    "?? Hmm? Okay, Hwa-min unnie!"


    Only wounds remained in everyone''s hearts.


    It was truly a brutal war.


    **


    "Good night~! Unnies!"


    "Yeah. Good night, Hee-ah~"


    "Hee-ah, dream of m¡ª¡ªGuh!?"


    Warm and delicious food has its own strange magic.


    The kind of magic that makes one laugh and chatter, forgetting the sadness and pain they carry within their hearts.


    With a soft click, the flashlight that had been illuminating the darkness lost its light.


    And we all lay in a row in the darkened room, smiles on our faces, drifting off to sleep to relieve our fatigue.


    I recalled.


    The mountain of supplies that could probably sustain the four of us for several more weeks.


    The room with the soft and fluffy mattress laid on the floor, instead of zombie-filled spaces echoing with their moans.


    And.


    "........"


    The sight of us three, going to bed waiting for tomorrow''s sun to rise.


    In the pitch-black darkness, we had found a single ray of light.


    In the invisible future, we were able to gain hope to slowly move forward.


    All thanks to a single child who extended her hand to us.


    In the beginning, we might not have even been able to see what was right below our feet.


    Sometimes stumbling from stepping on something, sometimes clutching our foreheads in pain from bumping into an unseen wall.


    No, that was definitely how it had been.


    "......."


    But even so, if we don''t give up.


    If we continued to try and look at the world with our eyes open until the end.


    We would eventually notice a faint ray of light entering the room through the window from outside, in the room that had felt pitch black.


    And as our eyes gradually adjusted to the darkness, the outlines of the objects inside the room would slowly begin to appear.


    "....I''m getting sleepy."


    I let out a small yawn and closed my eyes.


    Sleep came more easily than I thought.


    Day 18 after the zombie outbreak.


    The day I met the child who introduced herself as Hee-ah.


    That memorable first day.


    **


    * * *