《Lovely Allergen》


 CH Extra 1

    Extra 1: Welcome Home


    On the way back, Yue Zhishi felt increasingly guiltier, worried Lin Rong and Song Jin would yell at him as soon as he got home.


    ¡°Now you¡¯re afraid?¡± Song Yu couldn¡¯t help but tease. He¡¯d watched as Yue Zhishi had stared at the doorbell, struggling, for over a minute. ¡°You ran off without a single second thought.¡±


    Yue Zhishi turned around and glared at him before very straightforwardly whispering, ¡°But that¡¯s because I like you.¡±


    Song Yu was stunned by such an unexpected confession ¡ª and the door abruptly opened by itself.


    Lin Rong pulled open the door to their home, a hand on her waist. ¡°What were you two whispering to each other about! I waited at the monitor screen for so long.¡±


    She had just finished speaking when there was a sudden bang, random streamers spraying onto Song Yu and Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°Welcome home!!!¡±


    Yue Zhishi dumbly removed the streamers on his face and body and then went to help Song Yu, except his eyes weren¡¯t on Song Yu at all ¡ª the streamers on his hand ended up wiping all over Song Yu¡¯s face.


    ¡°Why are there so many people¡­¡±


    A large group of people stood in the entrance hallway, and other than Lin Rong and Song Jin, Jiang Yufan, Qin Yan, Shen Mi, Nan Jia, and even Xu Lin and Qu Zhi had also come.


    Song Jin was holding a rose coloured party popper in his hand, quite ill matched with his outfit, and explained with a smile on his face, ¡°Everyone¡¯s here to give you guys a surprise.¡±


    It really was a surprise, and Yue Zhishi inwardly rejoiced ¡ª luckily, he didn¡¯t get yelled at.


    ¡°That¡¯s right, the two of you are now the big hero and the little hero.¡± Nan Jia tugged the two silly looking red sashes she was holding over them, and she even gave Qin Yan a meaningful look.


    ¡°Oh, right right.¡± Qin Yan immediately followed behind her and grabbed out a tightly curled up silk banner from his sports bag. Walking up to Song Yu and Yue Zhishi, he then snapped it open, grinning so widely his eyes all but disappeared.


    The two of them stared at the two rows of yellow characters on the banner, and they couldn¡¯t help but read the words out loud.


    Yue Zhishi: ¡°Ingenious moxibustion and divine needles can cure all diseases¡­¡±


    Song Yu: ¡°¡­May your virtue and skill both spread far and wide.¡±


    ¡°What the fuck?¡± Qin Yan rapidly flipped the banner over to look at it.


    ¡°Senior Qin Yan, what did you do?!¡±


    ¡°Oh no?¡±


    Qin Yan clutched his head. ¡°Shit, the owner of that banner store must¡¯ve mixed up my order with the old Chinese medicine doctor next door!¡±


    ¡°Hahahahaha!¡±


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t stand up straight from how hard he was laughing; his entire body was trembling as he leaned against Song Yu¡¯s shoulder.


    ¡°All right, all right. Hurry up and come in, you managed to get back just in time for dinner.¡± Lin Rong gave both Song Yu and Yue Zhishi a hug. ¡°My two babies have lost weight. You definitely wouldn¡¯t have eaten well every day.¡±


    ¡°We were okay.¡± Yue Zhishi said, ¡°Song Yu wasn¡¯t even picky about his food.¡±


    Qin Yan smirked. ¡°Probably because he wouldn¡¯t have been able to eat otherwise.¡±


    ¡°People who grabbed the wrong banner have no right to say anything,¡± Song Yu mildly said.


    For this surprise gathering, Lin Rong and Song Jin specifically brought out the long table they¡¯d never really used at home and cooked up enough food to fill the table. Everyone had rushed over at noon to decorate the house, blowing up balloons of various shapes and letting them float at the ceiling.


    Yue Zhishi found everything really pretty, continuously feeling touched as soon as he went inside. Jiang Yufan ended up dragging him to a side and extended out a leg to him. ¡°Le Le, look.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t understand, glancing around in all four directions. ¡°Look at what?¡±


    Jiang Yufan stretched out his leg a bit further. ¡°Look!¡±


    Xu Lin, holding a plate of fried chicken wings, was walking past and almost tripped over Jiang Yufan¡¯s suddenly extended leg. Fortunately, he had fairly good balance, and Yue Zhishi also grabbed onto him ¡ª he didn¡¯t end up falling, but he did land a firm step onto Jiang Yufan¡¯s new shoes.


    ¡°Ah my limited edition AJs!!!¡±


    Yue Zhishi and Xu Lin immediately straightened up at Jiang Yufan¡¯s bitter wail.


    ¡°Ah¡­¡± Yue Zhishi finally understood and said to Xu Lin, ¡°That¡¯s the pair of AJs Jiang Yufan used as a bet about whether you and Shen Mi would end up together or not.¡±


    With the large platter of fried chicken wings in his hand, Xu Lin suddenly exploded, ¡°Who! Who would get together with Shen Mi!¡±


    Yue Zhishi jumped in fright once again.


    Right, he forgot ¡ª he couldn¡¯t talk about it in front of either of them.


    Lin Rong came out with the large cake she¡¯d baked herself and placed it at one end of the table, clapping her hands. ¡°Xiao Yu, come cut. Xiao Yu is a bit obsessive about having things neat, so he¡¯s better at cutting.¡±


    Yue Zhishi agreed with Lin Rong. ¡°Gege¡¯s hands are super precise.¡±


    And so, Song Yu, who¡¯d always been harder to get to do things than Buddha, really did go and cut the cake.


    Everyone crowded together to share in the delicious food, handing over Song Yu¡¯s slices of cake one by one. Shen Mi stretched out his neck and looked in Song Yu¡¯s direction, a chicken wing in his mouth.


    ¡°Senior Song Yu¡¯s so sad, he still needs to cut cake even with only one arm.¡±


    Qin Yan nodded. ¡°Yes, we need to care more about our disabled people.¡±


    And so the two of them received the two smallest slices of cake in the entire room, while Yue Zhishi¡¯s slice was double the size of theirs added together.


    ¡°I might not be able to finish this though,¡± Yue Zhishi said, turning his face around to the Song Yu who¡¯d taken a seat next to him.


    With a noble and dignified face, Song Yu lifted his own fork. ¡°You don¡¯t have to finish it, but you can¡¯t share it with them.¡±


    Cats were really good at holding grudges. Yue Zhishi took a bite of his cake and, very cautiously, praised Song Yu inwardly for being so cute.


    Everyone talked while they ate, and they had Yue Zhishi and Song Yu share a lot of their experiences while at the plateau.


    ¡°The people there are both really tough and optimistic, and they¡¯re also really friendly.¡± Yue Zhishi recalled so many lovely people. ¡°I was a bit sad when we left.¡±


    Qu Zhi suggested, ¡°We can go there together for a holiday next time.¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± Nan Jia agreed. ¡°I¡¯ve always wanted to visit snow mountains, and I¡¯ve never been to high altitude places. It must be really beautiful.¡±


    ¡°We can rent tents!¡± Yue Zhishi rather excitedly started to make plans, pointing at the people around the table as he said, ¡°Uncle and Aunt can sleep in one, Nan Jia and Qu Zhi in another, Jiang Yufan and senior Qin Yan can bring your girlfriends along, Song Yu and I will be another, and then Shen Mi and Xu Lin¡­¡±


    He braked before finishing his sentence, but Shen Mi and Xu Lin looked at each other and said at the same time, ¡°I¡¯m not sleeping with him.¡±


    Qin Yan said reassuringly, ¡°This sleep is not that kind of sleep.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not sleeping with him no matter what kind of sleep,¡± Shen Mi resolutely said. Xu Lin puffed up his cheeks and opened his mouth in a huff, as though wanting to say something, but he held himself back and ended up looking like a pufferfish.


    ¡°We¡¯ll need to talk about this over some time.¡± Song Jin gave them some food. ¡°The two of you have worked really hard the last few days, so you¡¯ll need to rest. Xiao Yu needs to take care of his arm. Everything will be inconvenient now that you¡¯ve injured your right arm. Le Le, you too. Next time something like this happens, you can¡¯t just run off to such a dangerous place without saying anything.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded very sincerely. ¡°I know, I definitely won¡¯t be like that next time.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Jiang Yufan didn¡¯t believe him. ¡°As soon as you heard something happened to senior Song Yu, you acted like a completely different person. I feel like you still wouldn¡¯t be able to control yourself next time.¡±


    ¡°I understand how it¡¯ll be like, now that I¡¯ve gone. I won¡¯t be so impulsive next time, I swear. Everyone can watch over me.¡± In seeming earnest, Yue Zhishi even raised up three fingers as he promised very genuinely.


    Song Yu wrapped a hand around his fingers and pulled Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand under the table, holding it. He gently said, ¡°Eat your food.¡±


    Qin Yan cheekily imitated Song Yu¡¯s tone of voice, and then he shook his head. ¡°S.Yu¡¯s never talked to me like that before. The thing he says the most to me is¡­¡±


    ¡°Shut up,¡± Song Yu said.


    Because he was laughing too much, Yue Zhishi accidentally knocked over the half cup of coke he had next to his hand, and it spilled onto Song Yu¡¯s pants. It was already too late by the time he realised, and he grabbed some tissue, helping Song Yu dab off the liquid in a fluster. ¡°Sorry, sorry.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± Song Yu caught his wrist. He then said to Lin Rong and Song Jin, ¡°I¡¯m going to go change my clothes.¡±


    ¡°Oh, okay.¡±


    He threw a quick look at Yue Zhishi when he stood up, but he pulled his gaze back very quickly, walking upstairs by himself. Less than one, two minutes later, when the conversation around the table was already about something up, Yue Zhishi found an excuse for himself, saying it wouldn¡¯t be convenient for Song Yu to change clothes alone. He stood up in the midst of everyone¡¯s hoots and whistles and travelled from the dining room to the living room with red ears, before hurrying his way up the stairs.


    Song Yu¡¯s door was closed, and he wasn¡¯t sure if it was locked or not. Yue Zhishi tentatively turned the handle; he didn¡¯t expect to be able to open the door. He pushed his way in very softly, but inside, he was ridiculing Song Yu for not locking the door when changing clothes.


    Only to have Song Yu seize hold of him ¡ª he dragged Yue Zhishi into his arms with just one hand, and then he pressed him against the closed door for a kiss.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s legs turned slightly weak at this unexpected kiss, as though he¡¯d suddenly lost his strength. Sweet and numbing pleasure climbed up along his skin until it reached the top of his head.


    ¡°Mm¡­¡± Every time they kissed, Yue Zhishi¡¯s two hands would always twine around Song Yu¡¯s neck without him realising. He pressed against Song Yu very tightly, but Yue Zhishi recovered some reason when he felt Song Yu¡¯s arm against his chest. He wanted to retreat slightly, but then Song Yu¡¯s left arm was already wrapped firmly around his lower back.


    His voice turned weak and needy ¡ª in between the gaps of their lips, he called out either Song Yu¡¯s name or called him gege very docilely, saying he really missed him; he was like a young puppy who¡¯d been born just a short while ago, desperately needing to be loved. The hand Song Yu had left on his lower waist clutched him tighter and tighter, but he let go after a short while, he himself pulling back some distance. He only gave Yue Zhishi a few shallow pecks, and then he kissed the tip of Yue Zhishi¡¯s nose.


    Resting against the door and lightly panting, Yue Zhishi felt like the kiss had ended with him wanting more. When Song Yu turned around towards his closet, Yue Zhishi quickly followed behind him. ¡°Gege, you don¡¯t want to kiss anymore?¡±


    Song Yu looked at him, staring at him for quite a while, and then he sighed, pulling out a pair of black pants from his closet. Fairly casually, he said, ¡°If I¡¯m only allowed to kiss you, then forget about it.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t immediately understand; his cheeks flushed a few seconds later, and he said, ¡°Then, then¡­ For-forget it.¡± He prepared to leave as soon as he finished speaking, but Song Yu once again caught him.


    ¡°Help me take off my coat.¡±


    Yue Zhishi let out an sound of agreement and very obediently raised a hand to tug down the zipper on Song Yu¡¯s coat, helping him take it off. ¡°Do¡­ Do you need me to help you with your pants?¡±


    ¡°No need.¡± Song Yu unfastened his belt with one hand and hung it on the handle of the closet door. He then undid his buttons, his pants sliding down to the floor. Yue Zhishi felt like all of this looked somewhat familiar, but then he started to turn shy ¡ª like a silly, small robot, he slowly, unhurriedly turned around and gave Song Yu his back.


    Song Yu found him adorable and deliberately teased, ¡°Now you know how to be shy? Last time you were in such a rush you did everything yourself.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t,¡± Yue Zhishi tried to say. But when his brain showed him some ill-timed memories, he thought he truly was too eager at certain times, and so he secretly resolved to be a bit more restrained in the future.


    His phone abruptly vibrated. After Yue Zhishi pulled it out for a look, he hesitated for a long while, not sure if he should accept the call.


    Song Yu changed into his pants with one hand faster than he¡¯d expected, and he came up against Yue Zhishi¡¯s back, his chin resting on top of Yue Zhishi¡¯s head. He stared at Yue Zhishi¡¯s phone.


    ¡°Who¡¯s Ryan?¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice had already dropped a few notes.


    Yue Zhishi twisted his face around somewhat awkwardly, explaining to Song Yu, ¡°There was an Australian guy with his legs injured when I was helping the foreign tourists as a volunteer. He asked for my number.¡±


    Song Yu flicked an eyebrow. ¡°So he¡¯s the one who¡¯s been calling you the last few days?¡±


    Yue Zhishi dipped his head. ¡°But I¡¯ve already told him I have a boyfriend.¡± He sighed, ¡°I didn¡¯t think he would start bothering me even more, now that he knows I¡¯m not straight¡­¡±


    ¡°So? He thinks you guys have a chance?¡±


    Yue Zhishi honestly repeated what the guy had said. ¡°He said I could go to Australia and get married to him¡­¡±


    The vein on Song Yu¡¯s temple throbbed.


    ¡°Give me the phone.¡±


    When Song Yu took away his phone, Yue Zhishi originally thought he would speak to Ryan ¡ª he didn¡¯t expect Song Yu to directly block him before giving the phone back to Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°His legs were probably broken from how shameless he is.¡±


    Song Yu returned the phone back to him. ¡°And this is why I don¡¯t want to take you along with me when I go out for fieldwork.¡±


    There was an extremely cute look on Yue Zhishi¡¯s face as he leaned against Song Yu¡¯s shoulder. He would feel pleased every time he saw Song Yu being jealous. ¡°You not bringing me along is clearly because you¡¯re afraid about me getting into trouble.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m also afraid of my own backyard catching fire.¡± Song Yu remained unhappy. ¡°In the future, just block these people. And all those people who want your WeChat, do the same to them. Qin Yan gave out your WeChat earlier so casually, and now he¡¯s given us a whole heap of trouble.¡±


    ¡°Eh?¡± Yue Zhishi grasped the main point. ¡°How¡¯d you know senior Qin Yan was giving out my WeChat?¡±


    Song Yu stopped talking and pulled Yue Zhishi downstairs.


    Everyone once again started to make fun of the two of them for the time they¡¯d spent changing clothes. Yue Zhishi was still unused to being teased like that, and with his thin skin, his face reddened extremely quickly. But Song Yu ¡ª he was still that immovable, ice mountain face. He didn¡¯t care about what other people said.


    Yue Zhishi only found an opportunity to get close to Qin Yan when they were cleaning up the dinner table. Qin Yan was holding a plate with yoghurt and fruit, wanting to finish everything on the plate all by himself.


    ¡°Senior Qin Yan, you told my ge about you giving out my WeChat?¡±


    ¡°Mm?¡± Qin Yan couldn¡¯t immediately recall. Yue Zhishi then asked his second question, ¡°And, I¡¯ve always been really curious¡­ How did my ge come out to you?¡±


    Five seconds later, Qin Yan realised the answers to those two questions were actually the same.


    The shock of that day had still yet to pass, whenever he thought about it.


    ¡°Your brother told me over WeChat.¡± Qin Yan put down his plate of fruit. ¡°Okay fine, my own shitty mouth started it.¡±


    It had been right before Christmas: Qin Yan had boasted about all of his early presents without Song Yu asking to hear about it. He¡¯d bragged about his love life, and then, with a heart full of pride, he¡¯d told Song Yu of just exactly how popular Yue Zhishi was. He¡¯d thought that the younger brother-con would¡¯ve been extremely happy.


    [Qin Yan: a girl asked me for your brother¡¯s wechat.]


    [S.Yu: . ]


    [Qin Yan: but i didn¡¯t give it to her! (self-satisfied.jpg)]


    [S.Yu: Doesn¡¯t matter, he won¡¯t add them anyway.]


    [Qin Yan: bro, let me tell you. your brother¡¯s way too popular, you just don¡¯t know how many girls like the little milk puppy types these days.]


    [S.Yu: Shut up, you.]


    [Qin Yan: shit i almost forgot to tell you, a while ago there was a dude who liked your brother, and the dude kept asking me for his contact details. it made me feel so awkward even though i¡¯m super open and would be the first progressive youth of the new modern era in the entire country to vote for gay marriage. but! le le is the younger brother of my best bro and he¡¯s even closer to him than a real younger brother, so that means he¡¯s my younger brother too. so i decisively rejected him.]


    [S.Yu: ¡­.good for you.]


    [Qin Yan: but of course, aren¡¯t i so reliable? why didn¡¯t he open his eyes and see exactly who it was he liked? let me see exactly who would dare touch the white cabbage our s.yu raised so bitterly!]


    After sending that message off, Qin Yan had run off to the bathroom and showered, his chest filled with pride for himself. Then, he¡¯d smoothed on one of his girlfriend¡¯s masks, laid down comfortably in bed with plans of playing one round of games before sleeping ¡ª and then he suddenly received Song Yu¡¯s late response.


    [S.Yu: I touched it.]


    [S.Yu: I¡¯m now formally notifying you, my status has changed. I¡¯m now Yue Zhishi¡¯s boyfriend.]


    ¡°God.¡± Once he finished recounting his experience that night, Qin Yan shivered in front of Yue Zhishi, who¡¯d known nothing about it at all. ¡°He came out, and then I freaking couldn¡¯t sleep all night.¡±

 CH Extra 2

    Extra 2: A Day in Nursing Injuries


    Yue Zhishi had consistently been worried about Song Yu¡¯s arm, so after resting at home for two days, he brought Song Yu to the hospital for a check up.


    People were hurrying back and forth in the hospital; Yue Zhishi stood protectively at Song Yu¡¯s right hand side, afraid someone would either bump or jar his arm. He¡¯d already registered an appointment online three days ago and had booked a famous orthopaedic surgeon ¡ª which was also why there were so many people waiting in line. Holding Song Yu¡¯s left hand, Yue Zhishi pulled him across the waiting area and found an empty spot in the back, on the far left side of the final row.


    ¡°Sit,¡± Yue Zhishi said, pointing at the seat.


    Song Yu wasn¡¯t planning on moving, only indifferently saying, ¡°You sit. I want to stand.¡±


    But he wasn¡¯t allowed to act cool for all that long ¡ª Yue Zhishi promptly pressed him down onto the seat. ¡°You¡¯re the patient.¡±


    Yue Zhishi stood by his side, his eyes turned towards the number displayed on the screen not too far away. He squinted and then, like a small adult, said to Song Yu, ¡°There are two people in front of us.¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡± Song Yu caught Yue Zhishi¡¯s fingers, lowering his head to stare at the ring on Yue Zhishi¡¯s ring finger. He then casually tugged Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand in his direction lightly, doing it a good few times before Yue Zhishi understood Song Yu was hoping for him to come in a bit closer.


    ¡°I¡¯m already really close,¡± Yue Zhishi said softly. His body was touching Song Yu¡¯s shoulders.


    Raising his head, Song Yu didn¡¯t speak. He let go of Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand and patted his own knees, and he even arched his eyebrows ¡ª he was signalling Yue Zhishi to sit down.


    They were surrounded by people here. Yue Zhishi shook his head lightly, his ears flushing, and whispered I can¡¯t.


    And yet Song Yu replied with a completely serious face, ¡°You can. My legs are really comfortable.¡±


    Yue Zhishi covered up Song Yu¡¯s mouth in a panic as soon as he said that, awkwardly pretending he hadn¡¯t heard a single thing.


    The number on the display screen changed at this moment. The door to the consultation room opened, and a girl dressed in the thick winter uniform of a nearby high school jumped out in small leaps, supported by a boy. She¡¯d most likely sprained her leg: her upraised ankle was a bit swollen, and she wore a cotton slipper over it.


    The boy was carrying two schoolbags on his back, and he was also holding an x-ray.


    ¡°The school term hasn¡¯t ended yet?¡± Yue Zhishi released Song Yu¡¯s mouth. He stared at the boy and girl as he squeezed Song Yu¡¯s fingers, and he murmured, ¡°They should be third year high school students. I feel bad for them.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t say anything, only tilting his head to rest against the side of Yue Zhishi¡¯s waist.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s waist was very soft, and so were his hands as they came to lie on Song Yu¡¯s face. He lowered his head again, softly calling gege. ¡°You didn¡¯t sleep well?¡±


    He¡¯d sensed that Song Yu hadn¡¯t slept well last night, possibly because of the pain in his arm and possibly because he hadn¡¯t been able to flip his body around. He had only been allowed to lie on his back. Yue Zhishi had hugged his uninjured arm the entire night, sleeping closely, but he hadn¡¯t slept too deeply either in his worry ¡ª he¡¯d woken up quite early.


    But in a low voice, Song Yu said no.


    Reaching a hand into his pockets, Yue Zhishi pulled out a pineapple flavoured milk candy and held it by Song Yu¡¯s mouth once he¡¯d unpeeled the creamy yellow wrapping paper. Using a tone of voice typically used to coax children, he encouragingly said, ¡°This one¡¯s really yummy.¡±


    When Song Yu frowned with a bit of disdain, Yue Zhishi said in an injured voice, ¡°I specifically brought this for you since you¡¯re seeing a doctor.¡±


    Song Yu ended up eating the candy, and then he asked him, ¡°Why¡¯d you bring candy?¡±


    ¡°Because you used to do that for me.¡±


    Yue Zhishi had really hated going to the hospital as a child, scared and nervous every time he was brought in. He¡¯d needed shots almost every time he¡¯d come, and so sometimes he¡¯d start crying as soon as he sat in front of a doctor.


    Song Yu had also been quite young at that time, and he¡¯d always fish out a few pieces of candy and stuff them into Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand. He¡¯d then deliberately say, ¡°I don¡¯t even know where they came from. I hate eating candy, I¡¯ll give them to you. Don¡¯t cry after you¡¯ve had candy.¡±


    And from then on, the tiny Yue Zhishi had started to slowly accept going to see the doctors. It also later turned into a habit ¡ª he would pitifully plead for Song Yu to give him a piece of candy before entering the hospital.


    It had been strange, even then. Yue Zhishi wouldn¡¯t eat the candy Lin Rong brought; he¡¯d only take candy from Song Yu. Song Yu forgot to bring candy one time, and as his parents took Yue Zhishi to the waiting area, he¡¯d silently gone to the small supermarket outside the hospital to buy some. That place hadn¡¯t sold yummy milk candies, so Song Yu had had no choice but to buy a packet of fruit-flavoured hard candy, Yue Zhishi still eating them very happily.


    ¡°That was because you really liked to cry when you were sick as a child.¡± Song Yu pretended to look annoyed. ¡°I had no other choice.¡±


    Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t upset from Song Yu pretending to be annoyed ¡ª delight would fill his heart whenever he thought about their childhood. He reached out a hand and touched Song Yu¡¯s hair, his movements the same as stroking a cat when happy.


    In the row ahead of them, two people waiting to see the doctor got up and left. That high school couple sat down in their seats, diagonally to the right in front of Yue Zhishi and Song Yu. The girl¡¯s voice was very sweet, and she curved her head onto her boyfriend¡¯s shoulder; she seemed to be cutely whining.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes would occasionally flick over to them, but he didn¡¯t think doing that was good and so returned to look back at Song Yu¡¯s face. He then quietly said, ¡°Would they be considered as early dating?¡±


    ¡°What do you think?¡± Song Yu faintly leaned his head back, meeting his eyes.


    ¡°I think so¡­¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand was on Song Yu¡¯s neck, and it fiddled with the white sling as Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes once again looked in the couple¡¯s direction.


    Suddenly, he heard Song Yu speak; he pulled his gaze back.


    ¡°You lost me my chance to experience early dating,¡± Song Yu unabashedly said. His face was calm and composed, and when he saw Yue Zhishi widen his eyes, he continued to say, ¡°Or else I could¡¯ve experienced it as early as I wanted.¡±


    Yue Zhishi felt his face warming up from Song Yu¡¯s words, and he weakly retorted, ¡°¡­It wouldn¡¯t have been that early.¡±


    ¡°Are you sure?¡± Song Yu didn¡¯t agree with him, raising an eyebrow. ¡°You¡¯re the one who wanted to be your own sister in law while still in kindergarten.¡±


    The moment his dark past came out, Yue Zhishi once again subconsciously went to cover Song Yu¡¯s mouth. Song Yu, now no longer allowed to speak, lightly kissed Yue Zhishi¡¯s palm twice ¡ª and when Yue Zhishi pulled his hand back in a fluster, Song Yu nabbed his hand and touched his lips to Yue Zhishi¡¯s wrist. He then refused to let Yue Zhishi leave.


    It was only two simple kisses, yet Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart was already beating unsteadily. He tried to distract himself by observing other people, and he looked towards that high school couple, seeing the girl raising her head. She used a very cute voice to say to her boyfriend, ¡°Laogong, I want to eat ice cream later.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes rounded in surprise. As though having guessed he would be extremely astonished, Song Yu intentionally looked up at him. With a faint smile on his face, he teased, ¡°What¡¯s that look on your face?¡±


    There were no mirrors here, so Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t actually know what his face looked like. He touched his face with a hand, and then he crouched down next to Song Yu¡¯s knees, whispering, ¡°She just called him laogong¡­¡±


    He thought Song Yu hadn¡¯t heard.


    Song Yu had utterly no reaction to it. ¡°Mn.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s still so young,¡± Yue Zhishi said, his pair of eyes large and wide and pure.


    You haven¡¯t reached twenty yet either.


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to be married to call someone laogong.¡± Song Yu said to him, ¡°It¡¯s just an endearment.¡± He originally wanted to say ¡®just like how you call me gege¡¯, but on second thought, Yue Zhishi actually thought of him as his older brother when he called him gege.


    Yue Zhishi said I see in a very soft voice, his chin on top of Song Yu¡¯s knees, and looked back at the boy. As expected, the boy looked extremely shy; his neck and ears were all flushed, but he also looked really happy.


    The number on the screen changed again, and the nurse in front of the consultation room called out, ¡°Is number 29 here?¡±


    Yue Zhishi immediately stood up. ¡°Here.¡±


    He was grateful to hear Song Yu¡¯s injury wasn¡¯t as severe as he¡¯d imagined. Just like the time Song Yu had injured his wrist in his third year of high school, Yue Zhishi had searched all over the internet for information about fractured bones. He¡¯d gotten more scared the more he¡¯d read, to the point he almost couldn¡¯t sleep, and now, he stood next to Song Yu and acted like his legal guardian, continuously asking the doctor piles of questions. He didn¡¯t give Song Yu an opportunity to interrupt. Once he heard the surgeon say Song Yu would be fine as long as he took care of himself for three months, Yue Zhishi finally relaxed ¡ª he expressed his thanks again and again.


    He tugged Song Yu over to pick up his medication, and he had Song Yu stand far, far away when lining up, worried someone might knock into him in the mass of people. Yue Zhishi lined up by himself, and the two of them looked at each other with a wide gap in between; he used some fairly strange looking body movements to talk to Song Yu and looked particularly silly.


    ¡°We¡¯ll need to come back for another check up in two weeks.¡± Yue Zhishi held Song Yu¡¯s hand as they exited the hospital. The weather after Lunar New Year was still very cold. Having ordered a taxi, he sneezed three times in a row as they waited by the side of the road, and he ended up being pulled into Song Yu¡¯s arms and covered by his coat.


    When they finally got into the taxi, Yue Zhishi intently studied Song Yu¡¯s x-ray. ¡°Human bones are so narrow,¡± he said, before gently touching the fracture shown on the film with a bit of distress. He then touched Song Yu¡¯s hand, now in a cast. As though he was casting a spell, he whispered under his breath, ¡°Hurry up and get better.¡±


    Finding him adorable, Song Yu lowered his head and kissed the top of Yue Zhishi¡¯s head.


    Yue Zhishi thought his cast really suited having something drawn on it, since it was so white and pale. Abruptly, he heard Song Yu say, ¡°Professor He said I don¡¯t have to head out for fieldwork for half a year.¡±


    ¡°Half a year?¡± Yue Zhishi lightly said, ¡°So long.¡±


    ¡°Mn, I¡¯ll take this time to write a few more research papers. He even said next month they¡¯ll be switching to a better shockproof surveyor control vehicle with an area specifically to hold instruments. There¡¯ll be a lower likelihood of injuries.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s good.¡± Yue Zhishi tilted his head onto Song Yu¡¯s shoulder. He could sense the driver glancing at him through the rearview mirror, but he didn¡¯t pay him much notice.


    ¡°When we¡¯re officially participating in emergency mapping work, we¡¯ll be surrounded by very high safety measures.¡± Song Yu explained, ¡°This time honestly was an accident we weren¡¯t prepared for. Professor He¡¯s previous work was all done after the disaster, and the work was essentially just controlling drones inside the control vehicle. Danger levels were relatively low.¡±


    Hearing Song Yu say so much to him, Yue Zhishi felt a pang of pain in his heart for no reason at all. It¡¯d already been so many days, and yet Song Yu was still explaining things to him, trying to tell him ¡ª whether intentionally or not ¡ª that his work wasn¡¯t actually that dangerous.


    ¡°I know. I know it came about really suddenly, and you guys had to enter the battlefield without any preparations. It¡¯s good no one got hurt.¡± Yue Zhishi nestled securely against him. ¡°Song Yu, I¡¯m already no longer that scared.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Mn. Humans always need to grow up.¡± Yue Zhishi smiled and said, ¡°And besides, I know you¡¯ll take care of yourself for me.¡±


    Song Yu also gave him a very faint smile, promising I would, and then said to Yue Zhishi, ¡°When you¡¯re in front of me, don¡¯t grow up.¡±


    That was a very unrealistic desire, but Song Yu truly did want it. In front of himself, he hoped Yue Zhishi could forever be frank and straightforward, immature; he hoped Yue Zhishi would look for him whenever he wanted something, wanting Yue Zhishi to hold the deepest reliance towards him. It didn¡¯t matter that they took care of each other ¡ª he still wanted Yue Zhishi¡¯s care for him to forever be as clumsy and adorable as a young child pretending to be an adult.


    Adults had nowhere to release their feelings of helplessness and distress. Song Yu simply wanted to be the shelter for Yue Zhishi¡¯s childlike feelings ¡ª so when in his arms, Yue Zhishi could cry when he wanted to cry and could laugh when he wanted to laugh.


    After returning home, they noticed a post it note from Lin Rong stuck onto the entrance hallway¡¯s shoe cabinet.


    [We¡¯re going to a birthday party for one of my girlies, we won¡¯t be back.]


    Song Yu couldn¡¯t hold back from scoffing, ¡°Still calling them girlies at her age.¡±


    Yue Zhishi silently thought, Aunt Rong remained like a young girl for so long because Uncle Song always indulged her. And even though he too wanted Song Yu to always spoil him, he couldn¡¯t right now: Song Yu was wounded.


    ¡°Gege, I¡¯ll cook.¡±


    Seeing how animated Yue Zhishi was, Song Yu walked towards him after throwing his coat onto the sofa, questioning, ¡°Are you sure?¡±


    He had a bad premonition ¡ª after all, despite his deft hands, Yue Zhishi really didn¡¯t have much talent when it came to cooking. He¡¯d also never needed to cook, since he had both Lin Rong and Song Yu; he had essentially zero experience.


    ¡°Yeah.¡± Yue Zhishi was determined, pulling an apron over himself. He saw a pot of pork ribs and lotus root soup in the kitchen, still hot from Lin Rong making it, so he turned to face Song Yu and asked, ¡°How about I make you some eggs?¡±


    Song Yu wanted to urge him not to, but Yue Zhishi had already cracked open an egg. With his back towards him, he quietly made a noise of surprise, and then he reached in with chopsticks to pick something out from the bowl with the egg.


    Eighty percent chance some shell pieces fell inside, Song Yu inwardly thought.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, it¡¯s not a big problem,¡± Yue Zhishi muttered to himself as he used his chopsticks to briskly beat the eggs. Song Yu wanted to come in and help, but Yue Zhishi decisively rejected him, saying, ¡°Go sit down and have some soup first.¡±


    The kitchen was an open plan kitchen, so even if Song Yu didn¡¯t go in, he could still pretty much see what Yue Zhishi was doing.


    It felt like what had originally not been a big problem suddenly turned into a big problem.


    In the end, after turning off the stove, Yue Zhishi stood in front of the counter for a while with his back towards Song Yu. Struggling with himself, he turned his head around, looked at Song Yu and said, ¡°Maybe let¡¯s not have eggs today¡­¡±


    ¡°Bring them over,¡± Song Yu said.


    Yue Zhishi let out an ¡®oh¡¯, very reluctantly bringing over to the table the eggs he¡¯d both burned and scrambled into pieces. He knew better than anyone else that Song Yu was especially picky when it came to food; he sometimes even nitpicked at Aunt Rong¡¯s food, refusing to even touch his chopsticks if a certain dish had the ginger he disliked.


    ¡°Don¡¯t eat it.¡± Yue Zhishi sheepishly scooped up a few more pork ribs from the pot of soup and gave them to him. ¡°Eat the ribs Aunt Rong made, what you eat will help heal that part of you.¡±


    But Song Yu mutely picked up a piece of the scrambled eggs, tasting it.


    The calmer he was, the more anxious Yue Zhishi felt. ¡°Ge¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s passable.¡± Song Yu took another bite. ¡°It tastes better than it looks.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t really believe him, taking up his own pair of chopsticks to try the eggs. He then lowered his head and focused on drinking his soup; he didn¡¯t touch those eggs anymore. He was probably unlucky ¡ª the eggs he ate just so happened to have some of the eggshell he hadn¡¯t managed to get out completely.


    Song Yu ended up finishing the entire plate of scrambled eggs, and he even found an excuse for himself, saying he just so happened to feel like eggs today.


    Yue Zhishi felt like his ¡®just so happened¡¯ came about particularly suspiciously, so he despondently cleaned up the bowls and chopsticks. He turned on the water at the sink and said, ¡°I won¡¯t cook anymore.¡±


    Leaning against him, Song Yu smoothed aside Yue Zhishi¡¯s hair and kissed the side of his face. In a grave yet tender voice, he said, ¡°But I finished it all.¡±


    The way he said it sounded like he was looking for praise, and it rather stirred Yue Zhishi¡¯s small, prideful heart. He turned and stared at Song Yu¡¯s face. ¡°So you mean it really was hard to eat.¡±


    ¡°It was good,¡± Song Yu said without hesitating. And he said it without shifting his face at all, as though whatever he said was true. His gaze swept over Yue Zhishi¡¯s very soft-looking mouth. ¡°You really won¡¯t cook anymore?¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡± Yue Zhishi nodded.


    ¡°Cook,¡± Song Yu said very softly, coaxing him. ¡°Cook only for me.¡±


    He hesitated for two seconds, but Yue Zhishi still wasn¡¯t able to refuse Song Yu. He could only drop his eyes and say, appearing very docile, ¡°All right.¡±


    As though thinking he¡¯d agreed too hastily, Yue Zhishi turned around, lifted a bowl and said in a serious voice, ¡°Once I¡¯ve learned to cook well, I¡¯ll cook for you often.¡±


    Song Yu clearly only had one moveable hand, but he still took the bowl Yue Zhishi had covered in suds and rinsed it clean under the faucet.


    ¡°You don¡¯t need to learn all that well.¡± He spoke completely casually, using a relaxed voice as though he was the world¡¯s least picky eater. ¡°You¡¯re already really good the way you are now.¡±


    ¡°You truly ask very little from me.¡± Yue Zhishi smiled as he soaped up the final plate. The sunlight from outside the kitchen window shone through the layer of clouds and lit up his eyelashes, turning them pale and translucent.


    ¡°I¡¯m not.¡± Song Yu helped him rinse off the plate, placing it on the counter. ¡°Because you¡¯re already very good.¡±


    Yue Zhishi gave his cheek a kiss, shaded with a bit of gratitude. Whenever he was with Song Yu, he never felt he wasn¡¯t good enough ¡ª the moment a dark little tongue of flame was kindled, Song Yu would conclusively extinguish it.


    ¡°I¡¯ll wipe things down. Sit down on the sofa, the doctor said you need to rest.¡±


    But no matter what Yue Zhishi said, Song Yu didn¡¯t leave. He stood where he was, simply asking him if he wanted a dishcloth or a paper towel before randomly grabbing one. Underneath the sunlight, the ring on his hand reflected a lustrous metallic shimmer.


    For one single instant, Yue Zhishi felt like they were a newly wedded couple ¡ª but in the next second, he dismissed that strange idea.


    They had nothing to do during their university break, so they sat on the sofa and watched a movie, Yue Zhishi covering Song Yu with a thick blanket. The afternoon sun of winter made them warm and drowsy, and as he lay against Song Yu¡¯s shoulder, Yue Zhishi felt both dazed and exhausted. He didn¡¯t know why he felt like that, but he sensed it very keenly when Song Yu¡¯s breathing started to change. Raising his head, he saw Song Yu frowning, his lips faintly pressed together and the corners of his mouth utterly straight.


    He sat up and very lightly touched Song Yu¡¯s arm. ¡°Is it hurting?¡±


    Song Yu shook his head, telling him to recline back onto him. But Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t quite willing, and he lifted a hand to touch Song Yu¡¯s face. ¡°What should we do? Do you want some pain meds?¡±


    He was a completely proactive person, his body immediately moving as soon as his brain had that thought. Song Yu reached out and grabbed him. ¡°No need, come back.¡± His hand was holding onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s waist, and Yue Zhishi¡¯s clothes rustled with his movements, letting in some cold air. Yue Zhishi faintly shivered.


    ¡°It¡¯s not like it¡¯s good to eat pain meds too often,¡± Yue Zhishi said, starting to persuade himself. He shifted slightly closer to Song Yu and smelled the pleasant scent on his body; soon after, he felt the heat of Song Yu¡¯s body as it transmitted to him through the air ¡ª as well as the warmth of Song Yu¡¯s palm as it pressed into, and started stroking, Yue Zhishi¡¯s skin.


    Song Yu looked at him without realising, his eyebrows still lightly knit together. His eyes dropped from Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes to his lips, and he said, ¡°I should be able to feel better if we do something to divert my attention.¡±


    Yue Zhishi pressed his lips against Song Yu¡¯s mouth the moment after Song Yu said those words. His restraint over himself was forever unable to resist the forthrightness and innocence etched into his bones, but because he knew Song Yu was injured, he moved very gently, his hand curving around Song Yu¡¯s face as though it was holding a precious piece of porcelain. It didn¡¯t matter that Song Yu had only one hand ¡ª he was still able to scatter Yue Zhishi¡¯s breathing.


    He was as soft and supple as a pool of water in the summer. Under the winter sun, in Song Yu¡¯s arms, he sparkled with glittering shards.


    One kiss overlapped with another, and the sounds of their breathing tangled together and drew them into a deeper, sweeter dream.


    Dampness, softness, the coiling together like two fishes, the hot pants of air mixing together.


    It was rare for Yue Zhishi to be in charge, and like a young child, he found it novel. Sensation flared along sensitive nerve endings, and they floated against skin, pain slowly dissipating against the joy and excitement of touch.


    Lovers were the best intoxicants.


    Even though he knew Lin Rong and Song Jin wouldn¡¯t be back at this time, Yue Zhishi still felt a bit anxious. His remaining reason presented his brain with a scene of them being caught, and it made him all the more sensitive ¡ª he was trembling even though he was sitting on top of Song Yu.


    Worried he was cold, Song Yu dragged a corner of the blanket over Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulders.


    ¡°I¡¯m not cold.¡± Yue Zhishi was sweating, and it made him even more pliant. He pressed both of his palms onto the sofa, and when they sunk down into the softness, he touched his lips to the centre of Song Yu¡¯s eyebrows and kissed his eyes. Little by little, the speed of their breaths turned into one; Song Yu¡¯s hand gripped onto his waist quite fiercely, and he couldn¡¯t move away even if he tried.


    The movie arrived at its end without them realising. Yue Zhishi¡¯s hair was damp from sweat, and he pushed it behind his ears. He felt a bit weak, but he also didn¡¯t want to press against Song Yu¡¯s arm. He propped himself up on the edge of the sofa, wanting to get up, only for Song Yu to stop him from moving.


    ¡°Hug for a while.¡± In a slightly raspy voice, Song Yu called him baobao.


    ¡°Mn.¡± Yue Zhishi docilely cuddled into his arms, except he didn¡¯t dare to press in too firmly and left a bit of space between himself and the arm slung up against Song Yu¡¯s chest. After resting for a while, he lifted his head again and pecked the corner of Song Yu¡¯s mouth. He caught a glimpse of Song Yu¡¯s faintly reddened neck ¡ª maybe it was from earlier, when he had to use his strength.


    Suddenly, for no reason at all, Yue Zhishi thought of that overjoyed high school boy in the hospital.


    He didn¡¯t want Song Yu to be in pain; he wanted Song Yu to be happy.


    Yue Zhishi wrapped his arms around Song Yu¡¯s neck, and he also pressed his forehead against Song Yu¡¯s, his eyes damp and still a touch red. He seemed to be imitating, but it also didn¡¯t seem like he was cutely whining ¡ª whatever came out of his mouth was genuine and lovely.


    ¡°Laogong,¡± he gently, delicately said, his voice still carrying the soft, needy tinge from his earlier pants of air.


    Song Yu obviously wasn¡¯t expecting that.


    Within his slightly widened eyes, Yue Zhishi saw the surprise Song Yu scarcely ever felt.


    It was as though that encouraged him, and Yue Zhishi affectionately kissed his lips before shifting to Song Yu¡¯s ears. He whispered again, ¡°Laogong.¡±


    The blanket on his shoulders slipped down, revealing the beautiful lines of his back.


    Song Yu cleared his throat and then pulled the blanket back over him. He turned his face away, voice stiff. ¡°Copycat.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± Yue Zhishi prepared to get up, cocooned in the blanket. Pouting, he said, ¡°Then forget it, since I can¡¯t do it well anyway.¡±


    He said it was cold and stood up from Song Yu¡¯s legs, picking up the plush sweater he¡¯d thrown onto the floor and pulled it over his head. He looked at Song Yu again once he emerged ¡ª and realised his neck and ears were both flushed.


    He looked no different from that seventeen, eighteen year old boy in the hospital.


    So Song Yu could also feel embarrassed. He looked so innocent, and it was a tremendous contrast compared to certain other times.


    ¡°The movie¡¯s finished.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s sweater managed to cover the top of his thighs, and he pointed the remote in the direction of the television, casually moving the cursor around. ¡°Do you want to watch another one? What about a comedy? I heard this sci-fi movie¡¯s pretty good.¡±


    The television kept jumping from one movie poster to the next, Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes focused on searching for a good movie to watch. He suddenly heard Song Yu release a very light sigh ¡ª he wouldn¡¯t have heard it if he hadn¡¯t been paying attention.


    Yue Zhishi rapidly turned his head around, and saw Song Yu once again frowning, his left hand on top of his injured right arm. He looked like he was in a lot of pain.


    ¡°Is it still hurting?¡± Clutching the remote, Yue Zhishi climbed onto the sofa next to him. Song Yu let out a grudging ¡®mn¡¯, and so Yue Zhishi also laid a hand on his arm. He then said to Song Yu, face serious and respectable, ¡°I might not be able to do things to distract you with anymore, my waist¡¯s sore.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want you to do that¡­¡± Song Yu gave Yue Zhishi a look reserved for strange creatures in movies, displaying his obvious dissatisfaction at Yue Zhishi¡¯s misinterpretation.


    With his head lowered, Yue Zhishi played with Song Yu¡¯s left hand. ¡°Then what should we do? Take some meds then, gege.¡± He spoke with a bit of petulance, and he even pulled off the ring on Song Yu¡¯s hand, pushing it over his own index finger. Lifting it into the air, he looked at it under the sunlight.


    The look on Song Yu¡¯s face, as well as his voice, once again turned unnatural.


    ¡°Say it again¡­¡±


    ¡°Hm?¡±


    Song Yu glanced away. ¡°¡­Say it again, just like earlier.¡±


    He begged others so haughtily. Worthy of being a cat.


    Yue Zhishi ridiculed him silently, and then kissed him with an air of being willing to answer his every request. Briskly, both syllables coming out crisp and clear, he said, ¡°Laogong.¡±


    And other than that, he even bestowed him with liberal amounts of I love you for free.

 CH Extra 3

    Extra 3: The Hidden Love of His Youth


    If there was one word to describe Song Yu¡¯s teenage years, then it would most likely be: single-minded.


    He¡¯d single-mindedly studied, had single-mindedly forged ahead step by step according to his career plan.


    Single-mindedly loved someone in secret.


    For most of the time, Song Yu had been able to control himself very well when it came to that last matter. But he would occasionally lose control, and during those moments, he¡¯d think in despair: how nice would it be if Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t live under the same roof with him.


    If he could reduce the number of times he came into contact with Yue Zhishi, if he could reduce the amount of information about him in his life, then ¡ª he should be able to control his hidden love as well as he wanted.


    But that was a conclusion Song Yu himself later overturned.


    Because it hadn¡¯t mattered that they had been on separate sides of a sports ground, that he hadn¡¯t been able to hear his voice and hadn¡¯t been able to see his smiling face. As soon as he saw a figure earnestly learning how to shoot a ball, his heart had stirred.


    When it came to things that appeared to be within his control, his feelings for Yue Zhishi had been the most unstable. But Song Yu had thought it was still okay ¡ª he could still endure. It was just that those feelings had come about so inexplicably; he couldn¡¯t find where, and when, they¡¯d started.


    No matter how he searched through his memories, it felt like he couldn¡¯t grasp a definite moment in time in which he¡¯d started liking Yue Zhishi. Or perhaps it was because he was always so perplexed and was always looking through his memories that Song Yu remembered all of Yue Zhishi¡¯s tiny bits and pieces so extraordinarily clearly.


    Just by closing his eyes, he would be able to remember the first time he met Yue Zhishi. He could see how very beautiful, how very adorable he¡¯d been. Yue Zhishi with his pair of little pudgy hands, so small; he still hadn¡¯t known how to call out gege, then.


    But Song Yu hadn¡¯t passed that period of time well at all ¡ª the guilt and shame of causing Yue Zhishi to fall into an allergic reaction, as well as the psychological stress caused by Uncle Yue¡¯s accidental passing, had tormented a small child who¡¯d only just hit his sixth year of life.


    The only way he¡¯d found relief was to quietly, sneakily, treat Yue Zhishi well.


    For example, helping an unwitting Yue Zhishi in elementary school by scolding his classmates who¡¯d once made fun of him for not having parents. Or always leaving inside his own pockets the milk candy Song Yu himself detested before prodding Yue Zhishi to brush his teeth at night.


    And for another example, biking to a place very far away to buy a volume of manga that had been hard to find, before he threw the book to Yue Zhishi and lied to him by saying he¡¯d purchased it near school.


    Yue Zhishi had been very happy, but he¡¯d also truly believed that Song Yu had bought it on a whim.


    He was very easy to trick, and he also never needed to be coaxed.


    Which was why Song Yu had never slipped up a single bit and had never given himself the opportunity to break the protective shell cased around his hidden love.


    He always treated Yue Zhishi well in secret, and then he¡¯d cover himself with an utterly uncaring appearance. His acting, in the beginning, had truly been very clumsy, but he had been able to get away with it, more or less.


    The rain in this city always came particularly frequently, and during summer, it was as though the city floated within rainwater. People would rush about on the roads, and it didn¡¯t matter how careful they were: water would still splatter over them and wet their pants. Even adults were treated like that ¡ª let alone young children.


    As a child, Song Yu hadn¡¯t felt much towards continuous rain and overcast skies. He¡¯d been a child who would walk very cautiously on the roads, and he would pull on a pair of rain boots before leaving the house, coming home clean and dry. But Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t been the same ¡ª he turned even clumsier during rainy days, and even if the roads hadn¡¯t been flooded, he would still accidentally stumble over a warped tile and be splashed all over.


    It would be even worse when it flooded. One time, while still in first year of elementary school, Yue Zhishi had been tricked outside by the boys in his class. They¡¯d said they would go with him to the small canteen and would buy something delicious for him to eat. Yue Zhishi had ended up with pants soaked all the way up to his knees, and he also didn¡¯t get anything to eat either. He had been very upset, but he hadn¡¯t dared to tell Song Yu.


    Until school had ended, and they saw each other on the first floor of the classroom building. Song Yu had seen Yue Zhishi¡¯s pants and his aggrieved face, and only then had he realised that Yue Zhishi had sat through the afternoon classes like that.


    ¡°Don¡¯t leave your classroom when it rains.¡± He had been a bit angry, and so he¡¯d set a very unreasonable demand on Yue Zhishi.


    But once he heard Yue Zhishi meekly say okay, Song Yu couldn¡¯t help but change his words.


    ¡°Don¡¯t leave the classroom building.¡± He had then stiffly said, ¡°If you want to eat something, come upstairs and look for me. I¡¯ll go buy it for you.¡±


    At that time, Yue Zhishi had only sniffled and reached out, stubbornly wanting to hold Song Yu¡¯s hand.


    Song Yu had pulled back his hand, refusing to give it to him. ¡°Do you understand? Don¡¯t run off with other people.¡±


    ¡°I understand.¡± Yue Zhishi had very obediently nodded at Song Yu, his eyes and nose red.


    But perhaps a large shadow had been left on Yue Zhishi¡¯s mind from being tricked. Even though Song Yu had said he¡¯d take him to the small supermarket, when it rained again, Yue Zhishi still wouldn¡¯t come out of his classroom unless it was thundering. During those times, he would really miss Song Yu and sometimes, he wouldn¡¯t be able to hold back his tears.


    As soon as school finished for him for the day, Yue Zhishi would still run upstairs to Song Yu¡¯s classroom and wait outside. He¡¯d cling onto the back door and silently blink his large pair of eyes, docilely waiting for Song Yu.


    Generally speaking, Song Yu would usually realise Yue Zhishi was there through the whispers of the students around him. No one dared to talk to Song Yu during class, so everyone would lean their heads together and gossip. When Song Yu heard things like ¡®that cute younger brother¡¯ or ¡®adorable mixed race¡¯, he would be able to guess that Yue Zhishi was waiting for him at the back once again.


    After his class ended, Song Yu first packed up his own bag. And then, pretending he didn¡¯t know anything, he would turn around.


    Yue Zhishi would leap once into the air very happily the moment their eyes met, and then he¡¯d run into the classroom and wrap his arms around Song Yu¡¯s waist. With a very silly smile, he¡¯d lift up his face and call him Xiao Yu gege.


    ¡°Did you get your pants wet today?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Whenever Yue Zhishi shook his head, his soft and curly hair looked so very fluffy, and it made him twice as cute. ¡°I didn¡¯t take a single step outside my classroom today.¡±


    Song Yu thought he was being dumb and wanted to say he could¡¯ve come upstairs to look for him, but he didn¡¯t end up saying that out loud.


    Their driver had taken a sick day off that day, so Song Yu had needed to take a taxi home with Yue Zhishi. He knew very well that Yue Zhishi would get his pants wet no matter what, so he directly pulled Yue Zhishi onto his back, telling him to hold the umbrella.


    He docilely rested on Song Yu¡¯s back, his arms holding onto Song Yu very tightly. He was in an uncommonly good mood, and he sang a strange-sounding, but not unpleasant to listen to, nursery rhyme.


    ¡°Xiao Yu gege, Zhang Chengyu said sorry to me today.¡±


    Zhang Chengyu was the classmate who¡¯d lied to Yue Zhishi by saying he¡¯d buy him some snacks.


    ¡°Mn.¡±


    Song Yu thought of how he¡¯d disciplined him, and thought that kind of child didn¡¯t really seem like someone who¡¯d truly feel apologetic. He¡¯d only been forced to apologise through the pressure of an older student.


    Yue Zhishi started to sing again after saying that one thing. His head was hanging too low, his face almost buried into Song Yu¡¯s neck. The air coming out of him as he hummed was damp and humid, similar to the air of a rainy day.


    ¡°Don¡¯t forgive him.¡±


    It was as though he was instilling a sense of intolerance into a child, but Song Yu truly did think so.


    Yue Zhishi was too kind ¡ª even if he was bullied, he would still think it was because he was different from others. He would think that was why he was excluded, and wouldn¡¯t think it was other people¡¯s fault.


    ¡°But I already said it¡¯s fine.¡± Yue Zhishi was holding onto his neck, and he felt Song Yu stop moving, shifting him a bit higher up his back. ¡°I won¡¯t forgive him next time.¡±


    ¡°You want something like that to happen again?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t.¡± Yue Zhishi sniffed. ¡°It feels gross when my pants get wet.¡±


    Song Yu could feel just how uncomfortable it would be just by imagining it. He walked to the side of the road with Yue Zhishi on his back and asked, ¡°Why didn¡¯t you tell your teacher?¡±


    ¡°I forgot.¡± Yue Zhishi was curled around the side of his neck, sticky and clingy like a piece of soft candy unable to be removed after being moistened by water. ¡°Xiao Yu gege, I only wanted to look for you.¡±


    A car stopped in front of the two children, and the taxi driver rolled down his window, looking at them with a bit of hesitation. ¡°Heading off?¡±


    Song Yu nodded ¡ª and so he passed over Yue Zhishi¡¯s reply.


    The child he¡¯d been at fourth year had still yet to learn how to calmly express his inner thoughts to Yue Zhishi.


    And later, he realised: after growing up, he was still the same.


    The confusion of puberty, the rebellion, the struggle ¡ª Song Yu had soundlessly given them all to him, hidden within the shadows.


    Even though he didn¡¯t remember exactly when he started to like Yue Zhishi, Song Yu remembered the moment his feelings took a sexual turn.


    It had also been in the summer, during third year of junior high as he¡¯d approached his high school entrance examinations. It had been a thundering, rainy night in which Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t been able to sleep well. By that time, Yue Zhishi no longer fought to climb into Song Yu¡¯s bed like he¡¯d used to as a three year old child; he¡¯d obediently returned back to his own room once he¡¯d been rejected, and he¡¯d left Song Yu alone to regret what he¡¯d done.


    The reason behind his rejection was actually very simple. People in class had joked about Song Yu and another girl, comparing them to a young couple in the class next door, and they¡¯d brought up inappropriate things such as ¡®first kiss¡¯ and ¡®first love¡¯. Song Yu had found it annoying and tedious, and he¡¯d been in a gloomy mood ¡ª which was why he¡¯d said to Yue Zhishi words such as ¡®I¡¯m really tired, you better go back to your own room to sleep¡¯.


    Lying in bed, Song Yu closed his eyes and told himself to hurry up and sleep. But the heavy rain was loud and noisy, and it made his already uneasy heart even more restless. He didn¡¯t know how much time passed, but he fell into a fitful sleep, so many strange scenes appearing in his dreams. He was hugging someone and, just like what those people in class had said, was sweetly enjoying his first love, first kiss.


    Outside of his dreams, a sudden crack of thunder flashed by, and it illuminated the face of the person in his dreams.


    Song Yu jumped awake from his dreams, his entire body covered in sweat. He was stunned for thirty seconds, and then realised there was something not quite right with himself. At 4am, after changing his pants and his bedsheets, he sat on the bathroom floor and stared blankly at the rumbling washing machine for a very long time. It was hard to swallow; he was shaken.


    When he came out of his room in the morning, everything was just the same as usual: Song Yu went to knock on Yue Zhishi¡¯s door at Lin Rong¡¯s behest, urging him to get out of bed.


    Standing at the door, staring at the cipher lock for an entire minute ¡ª he heard the sound of slippers dragging across the floor from inside, and then the next moment, Yue Zhishi sluggishly pulled open his door. He was wearing a set of soft and fluffy white pyjamas, and he raised a hand to rub his eyes, subconsciously going to hug Song Yu.


    ¡°Xiao Yu gege, I still want to sleep.¡± Yue Zhishi pushed his face into Song Yu¡¯s chest, his arms around his waist. His voice was particularly sticky and needy whenever he wasn¡¯t fully awake.


    Song Yu held onto his shoulders and shifted him off, very uneasily.


    He went downstairs by himself, and he said to Lin Rong, ¡°Don¡¯t ask me to wake him up anymore.¡±


    At fifteen years old, Song Yu had flipped open the exam paper of puberty. He¡¯d smoothly worked his way through to the end, yet he encountered the most difficult question in history just as he was about to finish.


    The first part of the question asked: What should you do if you fall in love with a boy?


    The second part of it asked: Then, what should you do if you¡¯ve fallen in love with Yue Zhishi, who is no different from being your true younger brother?


    For once, he felt like abandoning the test. He didn¡¯t want it anymore, along with the almost full marks he¡¯d managed to get in the previous questions.


    Because he didn¡¯t know what he should do, Song Yu decided to keep things the same as they¡¯ve always been ¡ª since Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know anything about it anyway. Song Yu even innocently fantasied: maybe one day, he wouldn¡¯t like him anymore.


    Weren¡¯t people all like that?


    But when it came to having a change of heart, it seemed to be much harder than he¡¯d thought. Song Yu was a particular, critical person, his social circles narrow and limited. He never seemed to be able to see someone worth his affections ever since he¡¯d been a child, and other than his studies, there seemed to be only a Yue Zhishi in his life.


    When he finished his high school entrance examinations, Song Jin said he wanted to give him a present and told Song Yu anything was fine. Song Yu very rarely wanted anything, because he felt like he already had everything. When his father asked him what he wanted, the first thing that popped into Song Yu¡¯s mind was that Yue Zhishi liked watching anime. And so he asked his father for a projector.


    He obviously was given one later, and he even spent an entire morning personally installing it into his room. The projector was right on top of his bed ¡ª because he felt Yue Zhishi was really lazy and would prefer to lie in bed while watching television.


    He then spent another precious afternoon downloading the anime shows Yue Zhishi liked watching. In his dark room with his curtains drawn, he tested the video display for a very long time, and when he was finally satisfied, he prepared to find an excuse to get Yue Zhishi to come over and watch.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t think about what words he should use to invite Yue Zhishi over. In his mind, he only practiced again and again how he would reasonably explain why he had those anime shows.


    But Lin Rong had never wanted only one of her children to receive presents, so on almost the exact same day, she installed a new HD television on a wall in Yue Zhishi¡¯s room. Yue Zhishi was overjoyed, boasting about it multiple times at the dining table, saying it was extremely clear and had really good colour.


    So Song Yu didn¡¯t say anything.


    He couldn¡¯t sleep that night, so he played those downloaded shows on mute throughout the entire night; he only really watched twenty or so episodes.


    As he lay in bed, as he watched, he thought: why is this so long? Exactly how is this interesting to watch?


    What was so good about it for him to like it so much.


    For the first time in his life, he felt: nights were so hard to endure.


    But Song Yu didn¡¯t feel any resentment towards Yue Zhishi for wasting his entire day. Faintly, vaguely, he felt like he would still spend a lot of time on that silly little boy in the future.


    He then indifferently thought ¡ª luckily, he was someone highly efficient. What he had most was time.


    The next night, under Qin Yan and their class monitor¡¯s coercion and persuasion, Song Yu carried his adverse reactions from his lack of sleep to the graduation dinner with his junior high classmates. Everyone kept talking about a bunch of irrelevant things as they ate, and the conversation kept changing around; it made it particularly easy for his mind to stray. Song Yu couldn¡¯t remember either, just exactly how they went from talking about barbecue skewers to joking about certain stories.


    ¡°You don¡¯t know about the phrase ¡®German orthopaedics¡¯? You¡¯re too behind the times.¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t it about a brother and sister?¡±


    ¡°What? A brother and sister dating each other?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s so strange¡­ A bit abnormal.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t say a thing the entire time, looking not much different from his usual demeanour. On the way back home, Qin Yan circled around him, chattering.


    ¡°That Yao Mu guy really annoyed me today, he kept asking me why your little brother doesn¡¯t follow your family surname and why he doesn¡¯t look like you guys.¡± Even though Qin Yan wasn¡¯t that close to Yue Zhishi, he still looked very vexed. ¡°I later told him that Le Le¡¯s parents passed away in an accident, and he could be considered as being entrusted to your family. And then that idiot ended up telling everyone.¡±


    As though worried Song Yu would be unhappy, Qin Yan then rapidly said, ¡°But I¡¯ve already yelled at him. I don¡¯t think he¡¯ll talk about Le Le to other people again.¡±


    Song Yu coldly said mn, the speed of his bike somewhat increasing. He was silent the entire way home.


    The wind of a spring night lightly puffed up his white t-shirt, but his chest felt empty, his heart dangling.


    Yue Zhishi was just like his one and only allergen, and yet he appeared in every little nook and corner of his life. He was so soft, so adorable ¡ª and he left Song Yu with nowhere to escape, no way to reject him.


    That night, Song Yu deleted all of the anime shows he¡¯d downloaded for Yue Zhishi, thinking of the quips and jokes his classmates had said around the dinner table. He didn¡¯t know why, but he didn¡¯t find those jokes funny; instead, they made him feel as though he was being brutally cut open.


    On one hand, he thought the same as so many other normal people: he felt brothers and sisters being together was very abnormal, and that the older brother must¡¯ve been a despicable person.


    On the other hand, he wanted to know: what happened to them after.


    After being discovered, after the brother had had his leg broken and then healed ¡ª what happened then?


    He couldn¡¯t think of what came after, and online opinions couldn¡¯t be believed. But Song Yu silently decided: he didn¡¯t want Yue Zhishi to call him gege anymore.


    Just like Qin Yan, he also didn¡¯t know how he should face other people¡¯s questioning. He didn¡¯t know what he should say so that everyone wouldn¡¯t learn about Yue Zhishi¡¯s loss of both his parents; he didn¡¯t know what kind of explanation wouldn¡¯t be considered as hurting Yue Zhishi for a second time.


    And moreover, he wasn¡¯t Yue Zhishi¡¯s true older brother to begin with.


    He believed very simply that as long as he and Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t act like true brothers in other people¡¯s eyes, then he would be able to be absolved ¡ª while he would also be given the space to continue on, single-mindedly.


    The projector that Song Yu had initially bought for Yue Zhishi ended up being used to watch many, many geological documentaries. Whenever he watched them, he would think of the past Yue Yi; he became even more wary.


    Yue Zhishi tired of his new television very quickly, and he started to enter Song Yu¡¯s room without permission again, clinging onto him to play video games together. He wouldn¡¯t leave even after Song Yu rejected him, and he¡¯d stay in Song Yu¡¯s room and watch those documentaries he wasn¡¯t interested in.


    Every time that happened, Song Yu¡¯s single-mindedness would fail.


    His eyes would be focused on the documentary, but his heart would be thinking ¡ª when would Yue Zhishi find this boring and return back to his own room.


    But as long as he wasn¡¯t driven away, and as long as Lin Rong didn¡¯t urge him to sleep, Yue Zhishi wouldn¡¯t leave.


    Out of all of the possible pitfalls for Song Yu, he was the purest, yet most persistent one, stubbornly staying by Song Yu¡¯s side and watching as he jumped down.


    As though he refused to give up until he got what he wanted.


    They moved to another school district for secondary school, Yue Zhishi also entering Peiya¡¯s junior high department. Both of them were surrounded by new classmates. Following his previous decision, Song Y carried out his plan to cut himself off.


    When it came to Song Yu, Yue Zhishi would forever obey and listen, giving him whatever he wanted. And so he followed along, acting like a stranger who didn¡¯t know him at school; no part of their school lives intersected, and neither did they interact.


    Song Yu was the first one to find it strange.


    When they¡¯d still been in the same elementary school, Yue Zhishi would wait outside his classroom for him to finish class. Now that they were in the same secondary school, Yue Zhishi still waited for him; he simply expanded the range and distance between them to the space of strangers, sitting and waiting for him in the corridor connecting their two classroom buildings.


    In reality, Song Yu knew everything.


    From the first day Yue Zhishi had lingered in that corridor, not daring to head to the high school department¡¯s classroom building ¡ª Song Yu had known.


    But he believed this was right. There was truly no way he could be anything with his own younger brother.


    Other than how strange it¡¯d felt in the beginning and the occasional surges of possessiveness, Song Yu sometimes felt a subtle sense of pleasure at their secret agreement to act like strangers in the midst of everyone else.


    They saw each other a good few times in the cafeteria, and whenever Yue Zhishi noticed him, he would do silly things without realising, sometimes even doing them with both his hands and his feet at the same time. Sometimes he¡¯d even bump into someone.


    Yue Zhishi, who never looked where he was going, even directly crashed right into Song Yu¡¯s chest one time.


    His head half lowered, he hadn¡¯t dared to look at Song Yu. His long and soft eyelashes had been trembling, and he¡¯d stammered out an apology before calling him a very foreign ¡®senior¡¯.


    As soon as Song Yu thought about how this guy would think up all kinds of different ways to sneak into his room at night, and then cutely beg him for help with his math problems ¡ª for a certain moment, Song Yu found this contrast of pretending to be strangers extremely interesting.


    ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± He reached out a hand to support Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°Watch where you¡¯re going, junior brother.¡±


    Unrequited love at close range was no doubt difficult, but he had to admit ¡ª love brought about delight and a stirring of his heart.


    Peiya¡¯s flag raising team was made of both junior high and high school students, and there were four flag bearers. Two of them, one from each department, would be in charge of hoisting the flag.


    Song Yu had been chosen to be a flag raiser since first year of high school, and he¡¯d refused to be one ever since. But in second year, he couldn¡¯t refuse any longer; he was forcefully pulled into the team. He focused on doing his homework during meetings until a certain meeting during the second half of the school year, where the team leader brought up a name.


    ¡°¡­Luo Xing, who was meant to partner up with junior high¡¯s Yue Zhishi, has twisted his ankle. Our high school team needs to switch up our roster. There¡¯s a ceremony next week, and someone needs to take Luo Xing¡¯s place. Who wants to do their shift ahead of time?¡±


    Song Yu, who¡¯d never been enthusiastic about helping others, proposed changing his shift right at this moment.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to hoist the flag near the semester exams. It¡¯ll be good to do it now.¡± He gave them a slightly clumsy reason, but this impulsive decision actually matched very well with the impression he gave others. He was also volunteering himself, so his team leader gratefully changed the roster for him.


    Because he wanted to startle Yue Zhishi, Song Yu didn¡¯t tell him about this. Even when Yue Zhishi kept talking about how he needed to hoist the flag next week at home during late night snacks, Song Yu didn¡¯t open his mouth and say a single word.


    Yue Zhishi allowed him to be a true high school boy in the midst of puberty, able to carry out an exceedingly dull prank on the person he liked ¡ª while imagining with utter delight how he would look when startled.


    When Monday finally came, the two of them left the house before the sky lightened, and they respectively changed into their military uniforms after arriving at school. It was a foggy morning of early summer, and the sunlight weakly shone onto the wet sports ground. Holding down his cap, Song Yu followed behind the other high school boy with trained footsteps until they were behind the two junior high flag raisers.


    That little silly boy didn¡¯t notice him until he was standing on the flag raising platform on behalf of the high school department and came face to face with him. There was an adorably earnest look covering his face.


    Under his cap, his pair of beautiful eyes were extremely wide. Like a dragonfly skimming across the water surface, the dense top and bottom layers of his eyelashes lightly met each other before separating once again.


    He¡¯d thought he¡¯d been prepared to see him; he¡¯d thought the one who would be thrown into chaos would be solely Yue Zhishi.


    But it wasn¡¯t like that in reality ¡ª Song Yu¡¯s heart was thrown into a complete mess.


    Underneath the music and the chirping of summer cicadas, he faintly cleared his throat, signalling Yue Zhishi to wake up from his daze. He could see Yue Zhishi visibly tensing up; he seemed to have forgotten most of the movements he¡¯d practiced so many times on the balcony at home. But he still did his best to follow along with Song Yu, hoisting the red flag together up to the very top as the music came to an end.


    Their school flag came immediately after, Peiya¡¯s school song starting to play. The main flag raisers for the school flag were the junior high school students ¡ª so, Yue Zhishi. He somewhat stiffly raised the purple school flag, printed with their school¡¯s emblem, and pulled at the halyard bit by bit along with the school song. He carefully controlled his speed.


    Song Yu stood next to him silently, and he suddenly heard something. Soon after, he heard a clatter. He¡¯d only just thought something didn¡¯t feel right when the massive school flag abruptly fell down, covering Yue Zhishi and him completely.


    The several thousand students under the flag raising platform dumbly watched as the accident happened ¡ª some people had already made some rather loud noises of surprise.


    Being cocooned by the flag, Song Yu was also very stunned, but he was still able to think. Yue Zhishi caught his arm in the next second and opened his mouth very softly.


    ¡°Gege, what should we do?¡±


    They were able to hide from everyone¡¯s eyes, having been drowned by the flag, and it was as though they¡¯d temporarily recovered their intimate relationship. Which was why Song Yu also swiftly grabbed onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand.


    ¡°It¡¯ll be okay, don¡¯t be scared.¡±


    He threw off the school flag and saluted in apology to the school leaders and students underneath the platform. He then, with Yue Zhishi, bowed deeply. They calmly came back up and bowed again towards the direction of the clock tower where the broadcasting station was.


    As stationmaster, Qin Yan reacted very quickly. He replayed the school song as soon as Yue Zhishi was prepared, and he gave them a chance to remedy the situation as soon as possible after the accident.


    Yue Zhishi and Song Yu were taken by the teacher in charge of the flag team for a chat, but they weren¡¯t punished. The accident wasn¡¯t actually completely caused by Yue Zhishi¡¯s nervousness; the halyard for the school flag on the flag pole had already aged to the point of tearing.


    ¡°Good thing you guys handled it well.¡± The teacher glanced at Song Yu. ¡°High school seniors truly are different, so calm.¡±


    Smiling, she encouraged Yue Zhishi and said, ¡°You¡¯ll need to thank your senior well later.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was a bit dejected as they came out of the office. The summer sunlight landed on him piece by piece, and it made the military uniform on his body look even better.


    In the corridor filled with people, they remained at the distance of strangers.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t even tell me.¡± Yue Zhishi spoke vaguely, as well as in a very quiet voice, as though worried their act of strangers would be seen through by classmates passing by. ¡°You scared me.¡±


    ¡°So you think it was my fault?¡± Song Yu acted also like a senior whose relationship with him stopped at the level of being in the same flag raising team.


    Yue Zhishi shook his head. ¡°It was my fault.¡± He seemed to still want to say something, but he paused ¡ª a girl carrying a thick stack of exercise booklets walked into the broad gap between them.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t do anything wrong.¡± Song Yu mildly said, ¡°The teacher just said it was the halyard¡¯s problem.¡±


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t.¡± Yue Zhishi waited until there was no one else around and then opened his mouth, speaking quietly yet candidly. ¡°I was too nervous.¡±


    Walking with him to the stairs, Yue Zhishi lowered his head and said, as if to himself, ¡°My heart gets distracted as soon as I see you, what should I do¡­¡± A student came up the staircase, and so he added a form of address to deceive both himself and others.


    ¡°¡­Senior.¡±


    The warm wind of summer blew the soft and gentle tone in Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice to Song Yu¡¯s ears.


    ¡°Getting distracted isn¡¯t anything terrible,¡± he said, consoling him in a seemingly indifferent manner.


    It was better than having his heart moved.

 CH Extra 4

    Extra 4: Drawing Nearer to Each Other


    ¡°¡­According to the most recent news from the municipal weather bureau, a red rainstorm warning signal was issued this morning at 7am. A short-term rainstorm, particularly heavy, is predicted to occur, and it¡¯ll be accompanied by thunder, strong winds and other local storm effects. Citizens, please look after your safety as you go out today¡­¡±


    The old television in the breakfast shop was broadcasting that day¡¯s weather report. The dusty blades of the fan were humming as they spun, the noise meshing into the sounds of the cicadas in the bushes. Yue Zhishi finished his last bite of his vegetarian soup noodles; his forehead was sweating from the heat. As soon as he raised his head, the restaurant owner sighed, gazing outside the store with his arms by his side. ¡°What terrible weather. It¡¯s about to scorch people, and yet a heavy rainstorm¡¯s coming. The weather report¡¯s talking nonsense.¡±


    Yue Zhishi also stood up, and he walked outside, pulling on his schoolbag, and climbed onto his bike. Large, expansive fields of green in both light and dark shades filled his vision, and the wind of midsummer swept over his face and body with humid, hot air, feeling as though it was covering his skin with a layer of film. It was still early morning, and yet the heat harboured within the rays of light was already beginning to show itself ¡ª sunlight reflected off the glass walls of tall buildings, and other than the dappled shadows of trees, it turned everything broiling hot and ghastly pale.


    It truly didn¡¯t feel like rainstorm weather.


    Everyone had already long turned on the aircon in the classroom, so Yue Zhishi rushed into the cool room, sweating from his bike ride over. He subconsciously rubbed his arms and sat down, flipping open his books.


    His desk mate borrowed his English homework, and he even praised the artwork Yue Zhishi had created for the creative arts festival.


    ¡°Thank you.¡± With his head lowered, Yue Zhishi read through his notes, wanting to memorise his texts, but the only thing he could think of was the invitation he¡¯d extended out to Song Yu last night as they¡¯d eaten their late night snack. It was an invitation Song Yu was very unlikely to care about.


    It probably couldn¡¯t even be considered as an invitation. Drinking his mung bean soup, he¡¯d only casually mentioned that the creative arts festival was going to display a new group of student artwork today, and that his painting was in that new group to be exhibited. But at that time, only Aunt Rong and Uncle Song had displayed an enthusiastic interest in his painting; Song Yu had peacefully sat there and drank his soup, not saying a single word.


    Afterwards, Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t been able to hold back, and he¡¯d asked, ¡°Gege, do you have physical education class tomorrow?¡±


    Song Yu had nodded and then had asked him why.


    Yue Zhishi had said, no reason. A few seconds later, he found a reason to talk and said he wanted to look at one of Song Yu¡¯s textbooks.


    ¡°Someone¡¯s borrowed it,¡± Song Yu had replied.


    He hadn¡¯t actually wanted to look at it to begin with, so Yue Zhishi had nodded his head very calmly. ¡°Okay.¡±


    He¡¯d only wanted to confirm if Song Yu was going to the physical education class or not.


    Because going to the sports ground from the high school department¡¯s classroom building required them to pass through the creative arts festival¡¯s exhibition site: the small fountain square.


    ¡°I think it¡¯s meant to rain today.¡± His desk mate had finished copying his homework at an incredible speed, and he gratefully returned Yue Zhishi¡¯s exercise book back to him. ¡°Did you bring an umbrella today, Le Le?¡±


    Yue Zhishi came back to attention and nodded. ¡°I always have one in my desk drawer.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s good then, but I feel like you won¡¯t need to use it. The sun¡¯s too strong today.¡±


    After turning on the aircon, the classroom was like a large blast freezer, isolating him from the outside world¡¯s temperature. His mind turned sluggish, and his body also lost its sensitivity, unable to sense the changes outside. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t like the heat, so he didn¡¯t take a single step out of his classroom.


    Song Yu, who hated high temperatures even more than Yue Zhishi did, had no choice but to leave his cold air during the third class period and head towards his physical education class very mournfully and very apathetically. The sunlight might¡¯ve been slightly less compared to that morning, but it was still ridiculously muggy; the air felt like a wet towel on his face.


    If someone wrung out the air in this city, water would most likely pour out of it.


    ¡°I¡¯ll grab a good basketball court later.¡± Qin Yan took hold of his shoulders. ¡°Hey, want to buy a sprite first?¡±


    Finding him too warm, Song Yu pushed Qin Yan away. ¡°Too hot. Don¡¯t want to play.¡±


    ¡°No way! Shit, if you don¡¯t play, how am I meant to win? You¡¯re a high school boy, how could you not play basketball?!¡±


    He once again started to tenaciously plead at Song Yu, his words not stopping as they travelled from the classroom building to the main road in the school, and then to the fountain square that¡¯d had its fountain turned off.


    Qin Yan¡¯s eyes were caught by the artwork in front of him. ¡°Didn¡¯t they change out the works on display today? Hey, this paper cutting work¡¯s not bad¡­ Are there none from us second year high school students?¡± He looked over the art quickly, his gaze skipping over them with cursory glances. As soon as he turned around, he saw Song Yu stopped in front of a certain easel ¡ª Qin Yan found it a bit strange how absorbed he was in it. ¡°What are you looking at?¡±


    ¡°Nothing.¡± Song Yu turned away, following behind Qin Yan and leaving.


    It was a bright summer day, and yet their physical education teacher still forced them to run around the sports ground twice. After he finished his run, Song Yu went to the automatic vending machine at the edge of the sports ground and bought a bottle of iced water; he felt somewhat better after taking a few mouthfuls. Qin Yan pulled a few guys over for a three versus three match, and because the weather was too hot, Song Yu played particularly ferociously, wanting to end the match as soon as possible. The three guys playing against him even thought he had an excess of energy.


    ¡°Holy shit, another one!¡± Qin Yan was like a cheerleader lazing about on the court, giving Song Yu loud applause.


    As the ball landed on the ground, Song Yu plucked at his shirt collar, humid air flowing into his shirt. Thick and heavy clouds rapidly took over the entire sky, and it was as though the sky darkened in an instant.


    He stretched out his hands, dirtied from basketball, and unfurled them with his palms facing upwards as if he was waiting for something.


    ¡°Song Yu, continue!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s too hot.¡± Song Yu turned to leave. ¡°I¡¯m going to go rinse my face.¡±


    Qin Yan found him baffling. ¡°You like being clean too much, can¡¯t you go later.¡±


    But he¡¯d never been able to hold Song Yu back, only able to watch as he went to do what he wanted to do. The strange thing was, Song Yu didn¡¯t go directly to the bathroom behind the soccer field; instead, he left the sports ground surrounded by wire mesh and walked away.


    Dark spots appeared on the light grey cement ground, one after another. After leaving the sports ground, Song Yu¡¯s footsteps quickened slightly, and then he later started running. The sounds of someone reciting English in the classroom building crossed over the wildly green and lush trees, and Song Yu, in his white shirt, dashed underneath their shadows before finally stopping in front of a particular easel in the exhibition area.


    Vaguely panting, he stared at the slip of paper attached to the easel. It said, [Yue Zhishi, junior high class 2-8].


    It started to rain, and drops of water passed through clouds and the gaps in the trees to land on Song Yu¡¯s shoulders.


    He¡¯d originally wanted to grab the painting and go, but he suddenly saw the palms of his hands: they were very dirty, stained with the basketball¡¯s dirt. So he didn¡¯t touch the painting ¡ª he held onto the wooden frame and lifted it up, the artwork on it facing inwards. He left that deserted small square before the rain started to fall heavier.


    The rain soaked through Song Yu¡¯s back, and the translucent white shirt wrapped around the gently jutting out shoulder blades of youth. Entering the first floor staircase of the junior high classroom building, he slightly wiped off the water on his forehead with the back of a hand, and then he lowered his head, checking to see if the painting had gotten wet.


    Good thing he¡¯d managed to get there in time ¡ª only the first initial drops of rain had fallen onto the art. Yue Zhishi had painted a city flourishing in the rain, but the city, teeming with lives, reflected the faint surface of a lake like a photo with double exposure.


    The title of the painting was: No Place to Return.


    Song Yu held onto the easel and went upstairs using a staircase far away from Yue Zhishi¡¯s classroom. In the staircase, the rays of light turned dark and gloomy, and the images of his memories seemed to refract within the indistinct water vapour in the air.


    He seemed to see Yue Zhishi crouching underneath a roof as a six year old child, and he was pointing at the water on the ground. The water was overflowing, about to completely cover an entire step, and he asked Song Yu, ¡°Xiao Ye gege, why does it flood as soon as it rains? The water¡¯s almost about to swallow the little tower I made from rocks yesterday.¡±


    At that time, Song Yu had tried explaining to him, ¡°Because we originally had a lot of lakes here. The lakes can hold a lot of water, but in order to build more houses, the lakes have been turned into ground. They can¡¯t hold water anymore.¡±


    The young Yue Zhishi had remained crouched on the floor, and he¡¯d let out a long, long ¡®ohhh¡¯.


    ¡°So the rain doesn¡¯t have a home to go back to anymore.¡±


    Back then, Song Yu had only thought of Yue Zhishi as being completely clueless, as someone who hadn¡¯t understood a thing he¡¯d said. He¡¯d explained something in such a scientific way, and yet Yue Zhishi had understood it in so strangely.


    But now, at this very moment, as he recalled his childhood memories, Song Yu couldn¡¯t help but curve up the corners of his mouth.


    These whimsical ideas of Yue Zhishi¡¯s brain had mostly come from the countless days and nights he¡¯d spent with Song Yu.


    When their class reached the halfway point, Yue Zhishi suddenly heard his desk mate say it was raining outside. It was as though Yue Zhishi had just awoken from a dream, remembering his artwork was still outside ¡ª he quickly swerved his head around towards Jiang Yufan, who was sitting in another section, and pouted, giving him a sad look. Jiang Yufan gave him a heartbroken look in return; his own work was also in the rain. He then used body language and mouthed at Yue Zhishi: we¡¯ll go get them once class ends.


    The rain started to pour, water beating at the glass windows before trickling down and covering it with transparent lines. Yue Zhishi was feeling slightly down, and it wasn¡¯t entirely because of his painting being possibly drenched.


    It happened very rarely, but Yue Zhishi reached into his desk drawer and pulled out his phone. The screen lit up, but there weren¡¯t any messages on it.


    Song Yu hadn¡¯t sent him any thoughts about his painting ¡ª that clearly meant Song Yu hadn¡¯t seen his work at all.


    But Yue Zhishi very quickly rejected that deduction of his, because even if Song Yu did see it, he still wouldn¡¯t share with him any of his thoughts.


    ¡°We won¡¯t be able to finish our discussion of the exam paper, so let¡¯s end it here for today. Revise your incorrect answers once class finishes, and let¡¯s continue during night self-study¡­¡±


    The teacher was still speaking at the podium, but the moment the bell rang, Jiang Yufan rushed out of the classroom¡¯s front door. Holding onto an umbrella, Yue Zhishi was slightly hesitant; he followed behind a few other people when he saw them leaving too, mingling in with them with his head lowered.


    The doors for class 2-8 were close to the staircase, and they flew downstairs, the wind of their body movements cutting through the sticky air. When he saw Jiang Yufan prepared to bolt right into the rain, Yue Zhishi shouted out his name, opened his umbrella and ran over to the small square together with him.


    ¡°My photos my photos my photos¡­¡± Jiang Yufan muttered again and again on their way over. Once they arrived, they realised every easel had been covered by a light blue and see-through waterproof tarp, but he was still worried and pulled Yue Zhishi over to double check. He eventually saw his photos, placed safely under the tarp.


    ¡°Good thing they moved quickly. But my photos have been laminated anyway, your painting¡¯s in a bit more danger. Let¡¯s go have a look.¡± He walked around, tugging at Yue Zhishi¡¯s arm.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes were also searching for his painting, but when they finally arrived at the area where his painting had originally been placed, he realised that section was now missing a frame.


    ¡°Where¡¯s my painting?¡± Yue Zhishi murmured.


    Jiang Yufan looked to the left and to the right; neither of them was Yue Zhishi¡¯s work, and the space in between them just so happened to be empty. ¡°Are you sure it was here?¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded.


    ¡°That¡¯s too strange. Let¡¯s keep looking.¡±


    The two of them searched over the entire row, but they still didn¡¯t find Yue Zhishi¡¯s painting. The works were placed very orderly, in two rows facing each other, and so it was obvious there was one missing easel in the area.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart also seemed to be missing one small section, as though it had been stolen away by someone. He appeared unperturbed, but he inwardly felt lost and confused ¡ª in disappointment, he rushed back to the classroom building before the bell rang for the next class.


    Jiang Yufan leaped over two steps for every one step he took, arriving at the third floor before Yue Zhishi did, and he was saying, ¡°How could someone have stolen the painting, the easel¡¯s soooo big. How could it just disappear¡­¡±


    He abruptly fell silent. Looking at the corridor in front of their classroom, he said to Yue Zhishi behind him, ¡°So many people.¡±


    Yue Zhishi also lifted his head to see. There truly was a lot of people. ¡°Why are they all around our classroom¡¯s back door¡­¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s go, let¡¯s have a look.¡± Jiang Yufan looked excited, interested in seeing what the fuss was, and even though Yue Zhishi was in a poor mood, he still followed along.


    Quite a few of their classmates in the crowd saw Yue Zhishi as he walked over, and they beckoned to him, grinning. ¡°Hey, isn¡¯t that Le Le?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re so amazing!¡±


    Yue Zhishi had utterly no idea what was happening, yet the huddle of people spread open as though just for him.


    The easel of his lost painting was set in front of the classroom back door, and the painting on top of it was completely intact and undamaged. It was raining so heavily outside, yet the painting didn¡¯t look like it¡¯d been touched by a single droplet of water at all.


    ¡°How¡¯d it get here?¡± Jiang Yufan asked the other people. ¡°Who brought it over?¡±


    ¡°No one knows, it was already here when we came out after class ended.¡±


    ¡°You didn¡¯t see who it was even though you were the first one out?¡±


    Jiang Yufan ruffled his hair. ¡°We ran directly to the staircase from the front door.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was still immersed in confusion. The bell for the next class rang, and so he ended up moving that easel ¡ª inexplicably disappearing before inexplicably reappearing once again ¡ª into the classroom and left it next to the aircon.


    The speed and quantity of the rain increased as the day went on, not stopping once throughout the entire day. The semester exam was approaching, so everyone decided to stay in the classroom for their noon break; Yue Zhishi did the same. He was getting a bit sleepy from working on his questions, and so he napped on his desk for half an hour, the rain even heavier when he woke up. Someone opened the doors, and the classroom, previously sealed off from the rain, suddenly flooded with the restless and anxious sounds of rain.


    Yue Zhishi was in a daze, slowly blinking at the blackboard.


    Jiang Yufan ran over to him, propping himself up with his hands on Yue Zhishi¡¯s desk. ¡°Le Le, I think I know who helped you move it. Maybe it was a girl with a crush on you, and since she was concerned about your painting, she secretly helped you bring it here.¡±


    ¡°Hm¡­¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes slowly gathered focus. ¡°Doesn¡¯t she need to attend class?¡±


    ¡°She could¡¯ve taken a leave of absence.¡± Jiang Yufan¡¯s fingers tapped on the desk. ¡°Taking a leave of absence to help you move the easel, how romantic is that.¡± He then said to himself, ¡°But not leaving behind a single hint, it really is a secret crush.¡±


    Lowering his head, Yue Zhishi glanced at the phone in his drawer. It now had a few more messages, but the name he wanted to see still didn¡¯t appear.


    ¡°I guess so. What you say makes sense.¡±


    Someone who secretly liked him, willing to save his artwork during a day filled with heavy rain ¡ª that was a lot more reasonable than a certain thought that had flashed across Yue Zhishi¡¯s mind.


    Seconds passed, and the screen of his phone darkened, returning back to silence.


    The weather report was finally true for once.


    It was as though there was no end to the rain, the colour of the sky much more shadowy than usual. Water seeped through the window lattices, and the leaves of the broadleaf trees outside the windows were saturated by the rain and looked like they were about to release green-coloured fluid. The ground was flooded, and the ivy leaves on the high school department¡¯s classroom building were swaying underneath the rapid pattering of water.


    Yue Zhishi was very grateful towards the person who helped him bring in his painting, but he was also worried for other people¡¯s works. During dinner, he saw the students in charge of the creative arts festival moving the easels away, and so he went to help to help.


    Only he had his artwork with him.


    The math teacher who¡¯d said he¡¯d come by during the night self-study session to continue going over the exam paper ended up saying he wasn¡¯t coming anymore, and he had the class representative pass out a new paper for the class to do. Everyone was already numb to the endless problems and questions, so when the class monitor sat onto the podium to enforce discipline, everyone in class lowered their heads to work on the paper. Only a few people were talking in whispers.


    Yue Zhishi was always very focused when working on questions, the end of his pen poking at his chin several times without him realising. Having thought of a way to solve the question in front of him, he was about to start writing when there was a sudden clap of thunder ¡ª his body jerked in reflex.


    ¡°Storm¡¯s seriously getting worse.¡±


    ¡°Man, that lighting really scared me.¡±


    Jiang Yufan gazed outside the window. ¡°¡­There won¡¯t be a power outage, right.¡±


    The class monitor knocked on the podium. ¡°Quiet. Stop talking.¡±


    He had just finished speaking ¡ª the originally bright classroom abruptly fell into darkness.


    ¡°Holy shit, it really is a power outage!¡±


    ¡°Jiang Yufan, your mouth is so unlucky!¡±


    ¡°Does this mean we can leave school early!¡±


    Noises also came from other classrooms. Yue Zhishi¡¯s first reaction was to look in the direction of the high school classroom building; it was also covered in darkness.


    The class monitor did his best to keep the class in check, telling them to keep quiet. The class next door was obviously much harder to handle: the students had already run into the corridor.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to the offices to look for our teacher, you guys don¡¯t go outside.¡±


    The boys in the class started to kick up a fuss and chatter, talking about things like ¡®we¡¯re definitely going to be let out early¡¯ and ¡®let¡¯s go eat barbecue skewers in a bit¡¯. A portion of students pulled out small rechargeable table lamps, or used the torches on their phones, to light up their homework and continued working.


    Yue Zhishi also grabbed out his phone, wanting to finish his question. His hand had just wrapped itself around the pen again when a white light flashed across outside as though tearing open the black night. For a moment, it was as bright as day, but the darkness completely swallowed the brightness very soon after. It was a scary omen, to Yue Zhishi ¡ª he covered his ears with his hands.


    As expected, a massive roll of thunder sounded in the next second. It didn¡¯t matter how well Yue Zhishi had prepared; he was still startled.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, you¡¯re still afraid of thunder at your age?¡± The boy sitting behind him teased, ¡°What do you need to cover your ears for?¡±


    Hearing those words, Yue Zhishi drew down his hands and attempted to distract himself by doing questions.


    The class monitor had yet to return after heading out, and the classroom became more and more chaotic ¡ª but at least no one had yet to leave the room.


    ¡°I hear our school has an electric generator, the power outage shouldn¡¯t last for too long.¡±


    ¡°Really? But weren¡¯t we just let out of school early last time?¡±


    Mindless chatter, the sounds of rain, the low voice of the female classmate in front of him as she recited texts ¡ª they all mixed together in the dark and humid classroom, but they were still unable to hold out the cracks of thunder.


    It wasn¡¯t really a hard question, yet Yue Zhishi was only able to finish it with starts and stops, finally finishing it with an inference. He finally couldn¡¯t continue waiting and enduring anymore; he pulled out his phone, unlocked it and tapped into his chat with Song Yu.


    He wanted to say to Song Yu that he was really scared, but then he thought of the teasing from the boy behind him and thought, he really did seem ridiculous.


    As he hesitated, it felt like the chat screen suddenly moved. Thinking he¡¯d just imagined it, Yue Zhishi lowered his head to look at it ¡ª Song Yu had actually sent him a message.


    [Song Yu gege: The book you wanted yesterday has just been returned. I¡¯ll give it to you tonight when we¡¯re home.]


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t think Song Yu would send him a message about something like that. He grabbed onto it and used it as a hasty excuse to keep talking.


    But what he didn¡¯t realise even more was that the message was something Song Yu had struggled to think of as soon as that first crack of thunder had sounded, worried Yue Zhishi would be afraid. He¡¯d searched for a very long time before he found a suitable reason to start a conversation with Yue Zhishi.


    The message looked natural, not too overly concerned, and seemed very much like something a normal older brother would say.


    White light blazed across the outside sky again, but Yue Zhishi held onto his phone, feeling like Song Yu had snatched away much of his attention. It was why he didn¡¯t feel so panicked anymore, but he was still scared whenever thunder crashed.


    He typed out a row of words, sending it out.


    [Yue Zhishi: Gege, I¡¯m a bit scared.]


    The class monitor came back, opening the classroom door. He said, ¡°Teacher¡¯s not at his office, and he¡¯s not at the kitchenette for teachers either.¡±


    The students in the classroom immediately exploded with cheers, but the class monitor still refused to let them leave, sticking to his role as monitor. ¡°They would¡¯ve let us know if we were to be let out early. Just wait first.¡±


    Yue Zhishi received Song Yu¡¯s reply in the midst of cheers and quiet complaints.


    [Song Yu gege: There are so many people in your classroom, why are you scared?]


    He thought about it and felt Song Yu¡¯s words had a point ¡ª and so for a moment, Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know what to say.


    He didn¡¯t notice the ¡®currently typing¡¯ displayed at the top of the chat screen, and after a few minutes, he couldn¡¯t help but send Song Yu another message.


    [Yue Zhishi: But I¡¯m still a tiny bit afraid.]


    He waited for a very long time, thunder crashing twice and the class monitor repeating for the third time that they weren¡¯t to make a racket, but Yue Zhishi still didn¡¯t receive Song Yu¡¯s response.


    He thought: in Song Yu¡¯s eyes, he must look utterly childish, timid and like he hadn¡¯t grown up at all.


    Some girls gathered together to go to the bathroom, and they asked for leave from the class monitor. Looking towards the high school classroom building, Yue Zhishi saw little flashes of light in Song Yu¡¯s classroom, and he felt like he¡¯d been caught by some kind of spell.


    He also asked for leave from the class monitor, and because of his image of being an obedient student, he was granted permission very easily. Except he didn¡¯t go to the bathroom ¡ª he walked directly into the staircase and arrived at that open air corridor connecting the two classroom buildings.


    The outside world was somewhat brighter than inside the classroom, and wind, mingled with rain and the smell of humidity, soared towards him, faintly wetting his hair and shirt. A layer of water covered the marble floor of the corridor and made it very slippery. Yue Zhishi cautiously made his way across, head looking down, and saw his white canvas shoes landing on the ground¡¯s black tiles ¡ª every step created small waves, rippling with light.


    He was actually walking without a place in mind, his feet moving without much conscious thought. It was as though he¡¯d arrived here in this corridor after yielding to inertia.


    This was the place he quietly stayed in every day as he waited for Song Yu to finish his classes. But he had ¡®waited¡¯ only by himself ¡ª Song Yu wouldn¡¯t actually go to him. As soon as he saw people coming out of high school¡¯s class 2-5¡¯s room, Yue Zhishi would pack up his vocabulary textbook and leave, biking home first.


    Song Yu was the one who wasn¡¯t aware of this; Song Yu was the one with actions being done to him.


    He was about to reach the end of the corridor ¡ª Yue Zhishi felt like it was time for him to stop walking. In an instant, lightning swept across the night sky and illuminated everything around him. Yue Zhishi lifted his face, and it was like a coincidence that seemed to occur only in movies.


    Someone was standing tall and upright at the end of the corridor near the staircase entrance. The lightning revealed his face.


    Thinking he¡¯d seen incorrectly, Yue Zhishi froze where he was, but lightning flashed across; the person standing there hadn¡¯t disappeared, and it truly was Song Yu.


    In the darkness, he seemed to be looking over at Yue Zhishi with a pair of bright eyes. Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t sure if he was imagining things, but it felt like Song Yu gave him a look with his eyes before turning around. He didn¡¯t walk over to Yue Zhishi and the corridor; instead, he headed towards the bathroom near the entry to the stairs.


    Perhaps he¡¯d been enchanted by that imagined look, or perhaps he knew it was about to thunder again very soon ¡ª Yue Zhishi strode over and followed.


    He left behind waves of water on those reflective floor tiles.


    The moment there was a boom of thunder, Yue Zhishi pushed open the door to the bathroom, his shoulders trembling. He felt like he¡¯d entered a restricted area with no light. He was hoping no one knew he¡¯d run over here, as though he would be terrified of someone noticing how he and Song Yu had appeared at the same time ¡ª as though he would be terrified of someone learning of his relationship with Song Yu.


    The bathroom was empty, with only a large area for washing hands and a large sink. Song Yu was standing inside, looking like he¡¯d just washed his hands.


    Yue Zhishi opened his mouth very quietly, calling out Song Yu gege, and then started a conversation very unnaturally.


    ¡°¡­It¡¯s really raining too hard today.¡±


    He blankly became aware of one thing: many things, before they occurred, were actually long foreshadowed.


    The weather report had loudly and clearly told him that there was going to be a heavy rainstorm; warnings had come again and again.


    He hadn¡¯t dared to believe it, but there was no way he could prevent it from happening.


    But this realisation was dim and ambiguous; at that time, Yue Zhishi had still yet to fully understand it.


    Song Yu took a few steps towards him. Lightning appeared once again, and it completely lit up this cramped room of a few square metres. In that short moment, Song Yu saw Yue Zhishi¡¯s face clearly: his soft and short hair, his light-coloured eyes, his eyelashes, his neck as pale as porcelain as it stretched up from the collar of his shirt ¡ª he saw his long and slender fingers, as well as the faint veins slightly bulging up from his lowered arms.


    ¡°Mn.¡± Because his mind had strayed, Song Yu gave Yue Zhishi a belated response before subconsciously saying, ¡°Why are you here.¡±


    But that sentence of his was concealed by the sound of thunder.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t hear it, and so he didn¡¯t reply to it. His fear didn¡¯t need to be hidden away in front of Song Yu; he didn¡¯t need to worry that Song Yu would ridicule his biological fear like the boy sitting behind him ¡ª and so Yue Zhishi took a few steps closer to him and arrived in front of Song Yu.


    Song Yu¡¯s shadow safely caged around Yue Zhishi.


    Song Yu wanted to comfort him, wanted to tell him to not be afraid, but he didn¡¯t know how best to do it. But Yue Zhishi grabbed hold of his wrist before he could ¡ª he wrapped a hand around the watch Song Yu very much treasured, and then he moved upwards slightly and held onto Song Yu¡¯s forearm.


    Damp skin attached itself to a palm. Yue Zhishi was holding him very lightly, but it felt like he was clutching Song Yu¡¯s heart.


    ¡°We can hug for a bit, right.¡±


    He said it tentatively, but he moved very straightforwardly as if afraid Song Yu would release a sound of rejection ¡ª he immediately went to embrace Song Yu. The metal name badge on his shirt collar seemed to accidentally knock into Song Yu¡¯s badge, and the minute sound of clashing that emerged from the darkness echoed in Song Yu¡¯s ear for a very long time.


    Slightly surprised, he didn¡¯t raise his hands to return Yue Zhishi¡¯s hug, but Yue Zhishi wouldn¡¯t be able to see the look on his face with his head buried into his collarbone. He was hugging Song Yu like he¡¯d used to as a child, as candidly and naturally as he¡¯d used to do almost every morning in the past.


    But this was the first time they completed an embrace in a random dark corner of their school ¡ª an embrace no one else knew about.


    ¡°Your body smells really nice,¡± Yue Zhishi said, using a tone of voice devoid of any wicked intentions to say inappropriate words. His arms were wrapped around Song Yu¡¯s back, drawing stability from Song Yu¡¯s body.


    It was slightly awkward how silent Song Yu was, but when thunder sounded again, he subconsciously raised a hand and stroked Yue Zhishi¡¯s hair from behind. His other arm landed very softly on Yue Zhishi¡¯s back, as though he didn¡¯t plan on using any strength to surround Yue Zhishi.


    A strange fantasy flickered across his mind for a moment; right now, he felt like they were a pair of secondary school students dating early.


    But that thought was rapidly drowned by the sounds of rain ¡ª rainwater nailed it deeply into the earth.


    Yue Zhishi clutched him very tightly when the thunder boomed, and after a few seconds, he slightly relaxed his arms. In Song Yu¡¯s arms, he took in a deep breath.


    ¡°Why did you come downstairs?¡± he softly asked Song Yu.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t know how to reply; it wasn¡¯t as though he could say he¡¯d been worried and had wanted to head over to see him before finding himself being particularly foolish after walking halfway. And then had stopped at the stairs.


    ¡°¡­To wash my hands,¡± he said very simply.


    Yue Zhishi let out a soft ¡®oh¡¯. Separated by two layers of shirts, he could feel Song Yu¡¯s chest, faintly vibrating.


    ¡°But doesn¡¯t the fifth floor have a bathroom too?¡± he directly asked, having thought of it.


    Song Yu¡¯s voice turned stiff.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re talking so much. Are you not scared anymore?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    Yue Zhishi shut his mouth in a hurry, before opening it again after two seconds.


    ¡°Hug just a little while longer,¡± he earnestly requested.

 CH Extra 5

    Extra 5: If (ÉÏ)


    [Song Yu gege, ¡®to see someone¡¯s words is to see them¡¯. I recently heard that traditional Chinese romantic phrase from my dad, and I found it really odd: every time I receive one of your letters, I feel like I¡¯ve already seen you so many times. Waiting really is something hard to do. I don¡¯t think you¡¯ll believe me, but last month, when I didn¡¯t receive a letter from you, I even went and bought a plane ticket to China for myself ¡ª but I woke up in the taxi on my way to the airport. Because you¡¯ve said before that you really hoped our first meeting after growing up would be you coming to see me.


    I heard from Dad that you¡¯ll be coming here in the summer. I can take you out to the pastures to see newly born baby lambs, and my little garden would also be blooming with so many flowers during then. As well as the White Cliffs and the coastline ¡ª we can ride over to them with bikes.


    I really hope summer would¡¯ve arrived by the time I wake up tomorrow.]


    The summer of his eighteenth year, Song Yu and his parents got onto a plane flying towards London. With the flight taking eleven and a half hours, it was already 7pm when they arrived, but in a country so high above the equator, daylight lasted extraordinarily long. Night had yet to fall, and the streets were still bustling with people.


    Yue Yi and Olivia specifically came to pick up their family of three. Even though he hadn¡¯t seen them in a good few years, Song Yu thought they hadn¡¯t changed much at all ¡ª Yue Yi was still as cheerful and lively as he¡¯d always been.


    ¡°Xiao Yu¡¯s grown so quickly. I don¡¯t think you were this tall the last time I saw you when I was back in China by myself.¡±


    Song Jin said, smiling, ¡°He¡¯s at that growing age. Your kid¡¯s half European, wouldn¡¯t he be growing even faster?¡±


    Olivia could already understand a majority of their Chinese conversations, and she said with English-accented Chinese, he isn¡¯t.


    Yue Yi also waved a hand. ¡°My kid definitely isn¡¯t growing as fast as your son, he¡¯s shorter by at least¡­¡± He gauged Song Yu¡¯s height with his eyes. ¡°Half a head.¡± Then, the tone of his voice saying ¡®please don¡¯t blame me¡¯, he said, ¡°Yue Zhishi¡¯s school started summer holidays early, so he packed up a bunch of things and went to our holiday home. The place is more comfortable than an apartment and tall buildings after all, and it also has the garden he loves. We originally asked him to come over and pick you guys up, but he was called over by the owner of the nearby pasture to help take care of their young lambs.¡±


    He shrugged. ¡°You know how he is. He gets all weak in the legs as soon as he sees small animals.¡±


    Song Jin and Lin Rong both chuckled, and they brought up the amusing stories of how Yue Zhishi had chased after squirrels in parks as a child. Everyone got in the car, laughing and chattering, and conversation flowed naturally; they were like good friends who saw each other every day, without any hint of unfamiliarity among them.


    In the car, the only person who felt regret was Song Yu.


    After all, the guy who¡¯d once written in his letters that he¡¯d ¡®definitely pick you up personally when you come¡¯ hadn¡¯t arrived.


    The gege who sent him monthly letters, in reality, couldn¡¯t compare to a little lamb.


    Song Yu leaned back into his seat, and he comforted himself as he looked out the window to the busy city flying past. Perhaps it was a large group of little lambs.


    The last time he and Yue Zhishi had seen each other was already an extremely long ago memory. At that time, Yue Zhishi had probably been only three or four years old. Later, there had been many times Yue Yi and his wife had wanted to take him back to China for a visit, but those plans had consistently been changed ¡ª most of them due to Yue Yi¡¯s work. Song Yu remembered very clearly a certain time when he had been eleven years old: he¡¯d waited for them to arrive very eagerly, but they hadn¡¯t been able to get on the plane. Yue Zhishi had had a sudden allergic attack, his asthma flaring up.


    Compared to modern, highly effective and fast ways of keeping in touch with friends, the one thing holding Yue Zhishi and Song Yu¡¯s relationship together was their monthly handwritten letters. Yue Yi and his inherent romantic nature had thought of it; he found cellphones and chatting software to be the worst inventions in the world, omitting the process of careful thought and of waiting. Instead, they threw everything to the person on the other side with a sudden crash ¡ª they weren¡¯t as warm and tender as even a phone call.


    He¡¯d said it would be good to write letters. He¡¯d said, you¡¯ll consciously consider your wording as you write. You¡¯ll knead all of your emotions and feelings into the paper and into your writing, simply because you have no other way to express your voice and yourself ¡ª and then, as you wait for a reply, your feelings will ferment and grow.


    On the other hand, Yue Yi believed Yue Zhishi also needed to master the ability to write in Chinese since he¡¯d grown up in England. There was no one else more suitable to be his partner in training than the older brother far away in his motherland.


    They established a very strange, yet very interesting, promise: they could only write letters to each other ¡ª any other form of communication was cheating.


    And so just like that, from a very young age, Song Yu had started exchanging letters with Yue Zhishi at a rate of usually once a month. Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t quite been able to write Chinese characters in the beginning, and even if Yue Yi had been there to guide him, Yue Zhishi had preferred to communicate with Song Yu through straightforward drawings. Song Yu had been ten years old the first time he received a written letter from Yue Zhishi.


    [Song Yu gege, your name¡¯s so hard to write.]


    It was clearly only one sentence, only eleven words, and yet Song Yu had looked at it again and again for a very long time. He¡¯d found it so very cute.


    And then even later, Yue Zhishi started to become even more familiar with Chinese writing. He¡¯d even use sentences and phrases he¡¯d read in books, flaunting his Chinese skills like a little peacock. Slowly, he started to talk to Song Yu about all the large and small problems in his life as he grew up, the confusion and bewilderment of puberty; he confided them all to Song Yu without holding a single thing back.


    Or perhaps the long distance separating them created a sense of security and a kind of beauty. This secret communication between the two of them over such a distance allowed them to grow up with each other, and yet it also made them infinitely curious about each other.


    ¡°It¡¯s already a bit late. You guys¡¯ll be really tired with the time difference, so we won¡¯t drive over there tonight.¡± Yue Yi took them back to his home on the outskirts of London so they could rest. It was a very cozy, very beautiful apartment with two floors in a row of tall buildings. Olivia settled Song Yu into Yue Zhishi¡¯s room.


    Pulling open the door, she used English to introduce the room to him and gave him some toiletries. ¡°He¡¯s a bit childish, so there are a lot of things in his room. Don¡¯t mind them.¡±


    There were many, many books inside, and there was even a book of plant drawings spread open on the rug. A half-drawn still life painting rested on the easel, and the room was stuffed full with plants, ornaments and lego pieces ¡ª it looked filled with life.


    Song Yu quietly said, ¡°Actually, I hope he wouldn¡¯t mind me living here for one night.¡±


    ¡°He won¡¯t. He was the one to suggest you sleeping here, because he thought the guest room was too small.¡± Amusement appeared on Olivia¡¯s face. ¡°He said you¡¯re obsessed with cleanliness and begged me to clean up his room before you arrived. But I finished work too late today and didn¡¯t have the time.¡± As she spoke, she tugged open the closet. ¡°Xiao Yu, you should go downstairs and eat something first.¡±


    Song Yu stood by the bed, his head slightly lowered. His eyes swept over that light blue coloured bed ¡ª it looked particularly clean and comfortable.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, you don¡¯t need to,¡± he said to the busily cleaning Olivia.


    He¡¯d originally thought jet lag was something very torturous, but Yue Zhishi¡¯s bed seemed to hold a power that could pull people quickly into sleep. Song Yu lay down, and as he gazed at the six small pots of exquisite plants sitting on the windowsill, at the unfinished painting; as he breathed in the gentle fragrance of plants, cream and wood embedded into the fluffy bedding ¡ª he fell into the dreams of deep sleep.


    The next day, as Song Yu was making the bed, he belatedly thought: it felt delicately offensive to sleep in someone¡¯s bed before actually meeting him.


    Turning around, he saw the desk plastered with many sticky notes. Yue Zhishi¡¯s English handwriting made it very easy to think of his handwriting in Chinese; they were both flowing and delicate. But Song Yu didn¡¯t really read the notes, thinking it would be inappropriate ¡ª even if that guy had given him the right to use his entire room without a single care.


    After breakfast, they started driving to their holiday home. It was in a village an hour¡¯s drive away from London, located in the south of England and near a seaside town. According to Yue Yi, that place had the best sunlight in the entire country compared to London¡¯s unpredictable weather.


    Olivia made a call when they were almost there. Song Yu looked like he was casually watching the scenery outside the car windows, but the soft sounds coming from her phone disturbed him like the rippling on a magnetic field.


    It was as though he could hear Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice ¡ª but it was distorted, unclear.


    He heard Olivia call Yue Zhishi by his English name of ¡®Joey¡¯ and heard her call him ¡®sweetheart¡¯, but he couldn¡¯t clearly hear what Yue Zhishi said in return. For some reason, it made Song Yu somewhat irritated. Summer in a temperate marine climate wasn¡¯t so scorching hot, and as the humid summer wind stroked his face through the window, it felt both tender and smooth ¡ª very much like Yue Zhishi in his letters.


    [Song Yu gege, I heard you guys have had a really long period of rain. What a coincidence, London has too. It suddenly started to rain yesterday at dusk, and I was completely soaked in the rain. I was originally in a really terrible mood, but when I remembered that you might also be under the rain at the same time as me, my heart suddenly felt really sweet ¡ª it felt like you and I were actually really close to each other.


    As always, I hope you can come earlier. I¡¯m here, waiting for you.]


    The car entered the town, driving through large areas of green broad-leaf trees. The grass was like a short-hair rug, and on top of it, honey-coloured cottages were scattered around, mixed with dark grey lodges.


    ¡°We¡¯re here.¡± Yue Yi parked the car in front of a three story resort house, and everyone got out of the car, heading to the boot to take out the luggage. Song Yu followed Olivia into the house with a black suitcase, passing by a front courtyard with white roses and unnamed hedges. A tea table and several chairs were placed on the lawn. When the front door was opened, he saw a sweetly decorated living room, an opened sunscreen bottle sitting on the table, a light blue baseball cap and an opened carton of cold milk. A red cotton short sleeve shirt was thrown over the back of a chair.


    ¡°He¡¯s definitely in the backyard,¡± Olivia said with certainty.


    Sounds of water came from the backyard; Song Yu could hear it. The wooden floor underneath his feet seemed to have turned into driftwood washed up from the ocean, and his senses also seemed to have turned sharp and keen.


    The moment he stepped outside, sunlight landed on Song Yu¡¯s face. He couldn¡¯t quite see clearly ¡ª under the gleaming rays of the sun, everything looked like an overexposed photo film. He faintly squinted; bushes of lilac coloured hydrangeas appeared. A snow white back was partly visible through the green leaves, as well as a spout of water rising up into the air and arcing over, accompanied by a faint rainbow.


    ¡°Joey!¡± Olivia shouted at him to stop, her hands on her waist. ¡°You¡¯re showering with the hose meant for the flowers again!¡±


    The water instantly disappeared, and so did the gurgling and sloshing sounds of water.


    An alarmed face turned around within those hydrangeas, a golden halo surrounding the wet hair under the sunshine ¡ª his eyes were very large, and they were as translucent as gemstones.


    To see someone¡¯s words is to see them.


    It didn¡¯t matter that he¡¯d seen over a hundred letters; they were nothing compared to a fleeting appearance.


    But Yue Zhishi, having been rebuked, very quickly turned his head back around. Soon after, Song Yu heard a long, dragged out and extremely adorable ¡®sorry¡¯, and then he saw a large grey towel draping over that snow white back before it came out from the other side of the bushes.


    With bare feet, he walked on the soft lawn, his pair of legs pale and dressed in navy blue swimming shorts. The towel was on his upper body, but his fair belly and arms remained uncovered. His wet hair was pushed back behind his ears, exposing a pair of eyes that looked even more pure after being soaked in water.


    ¡°This is the gege you¡¯ve been longing for every day,¡± Olivia deliberately introduced with a tease.


    Yue Zhishi rubbed his hands together with some embarrassment and then stretched out a hand, clasping their hands together. Cold and warm body temperatures blended together and transferred across ¡ª Yue Zhishi¡¯s lowered eyelashes were stained with water droplets, subtly trembling.


    His voice was also really nice to listen to, and he specifically used Chinese to speak, as though to communicate how earnest he was. With a slightly accented voice, he called him, ¡°Song Yu gege.¡±


    For a moment, many of Yue Zhishi¡¯s handwritten letters flashed across Song Yu¡¯s mind. Paragraphs and paragraphs of grumbling spoken only to those close to him, the boasting filled with childishness ¡ª they were matched one by one to the person in front of him, and gave him a concrete sweetness.


    The corners of Song Yu¡¯s mouth curled up gently. While holding his hand, he intentionally used Yue Zhishi¡¯s most commonly used word of ¡®lovely¡¯ and said to him in deep voice in English, ¡°Lovely to see you.¡±


    It was as though someone had twisted Yue Zhishi¡¯s ears; they appeared a translucent red underneath the sun. Saying he was going to change his clothes, he released Song Yu¡¯s hand and then ran directly into the house, grabbing the red shirt on the chair as he passed by.


    His entire body, from head to toe, projected a youthfulness that brimmed with exuberance.


    It was in Song Yu¡¯s room on the third floor that they saw each other again. Song Yu was unpacking his luggage when he suddenly heard a knock, and when he turned around, he saw Yue Zhishi standing by the door, wearing black shorts and the red shirt that made his pale skin glow. He walked inside very naturally, and his brown, slightly curly hair was very soft and fluffy after being blown dry.


    ¡°You¡¯re not how I imagined you being.¡± Yue Zhishi skipped over any greetings and came very directly to stand in front of Song Yu. He used curious eyes to look over him, not hesitant at all.


    Song Yu placed down the rash guard in his hand and also looked at him. He calmly asked, ¡°How am I different?¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s mouth abruptly curved up with laughter. He nervously swung his arms twice before clutching them with his hands. After he released a sigh, he sincerely said, ¡°You¡¯re even more handsome than I¡¯d thought you¡¯d be.¡±


    Seeing how unmoved Song Yu was to that kind of praise, Yue Zhishi then quickly asked, ¡°Has there been a lot of people who¡¯ve called you handsome? Have a lot of girls at your school asked you to be their date for prom?¡±


    Song Yu hung up his final shirt, and with his back towards Yue Zhishi, he used a careless voice to say, ¡°We don¡¯t have prom. So there¡¯s also no such thing as being their date.¡±


    Yue Zhishi relaxed very obviously. ¡°Now that¡¯s truly very fortunate.¡±


    Turning around, Song Yu saw Yue Zhishi already sitting on his bed, his slender and pale long legs spread open and lightly swinging ¡ª he looked particularly pleased.


    ¡°Don¡¯t you know I care about cleanliness?¡±


    Yue Zhishi looked startled at his words, his eyes widening slightly. But then Song Yu said very quickly, ¡°Just joking.¡±


    Baffled, Yue Zhishi said, ¡°So you¡¯re not actually a germaphobe.¡±


    Song Yu gave him a more explicit answer. ¡°Not towards you.¡±


    He then walked out the door, Yue Zhishi quickly getting up and following behind him. He told Song Yu his room was next door and even attempted to show him his balcony, but Song Yu didn¡¯t go in. Only their two rooms were on this floor; the second floor contained the two couples¡¯ bedrooms, and he could hear their laughing and happy chatter when standing on the stairs.


    For lunch, they had barbecue and French fries underneath the shade of the front courtyard¡¯s trees. Yue Zhishi struggled to cut a steak with tendons, and sitting next to him, Lin Rong declared that she was definitely going to cook a table full of delicious local Chinese dishes for him that afternoon. He¡¯d been looking forward to that for a long time, and so he placed down his knife and fork and gave Lin Rong a grateful kiss on the cheek.


    Song Yu sat diagonally across from him, sipping on a gin and tonic. His eyes occasionally landed on Yue Zhishi and watched how excited and bubbling he looked.


    ¡°You went swimming today?¡± Yue Yi asked Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°Yup. The pool was so cold, and it wasn¡¯t clean, which is why I had a shower when I came back.¡± Yue Zhishi explained himself.


    Olivia laughed as she served them, saying, ¡°But that¡¯s not a reason to greet guests with a bare body.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s face flushed again. He hadn¡¯t had a single sip of the gin and vermouth on the table, yet his face was suffused by an adorable blush. Song Yu had had some of the alcohol, but he had no reaction to it at all, his head lowered as he carefully sliced a plate of beef, precise and refined.


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t count, I was wearing swimming shorts.¡± Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but retort, ¡°Besides, I was covered by a towel.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right, only his feet were bare,¡± Yue Yi helpfully added for him.


    The adults around the table cracked up. Song Yu lifted his eyes and met Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes, noticing he would dodge away from his gaze. Yue Zhishi shifted his eyes back after two seconds and asked if he wanted fish, stumbling over his words.


    Song Yu took a piece of grilled trout from him, said thank you and then offered over the plate of beef he¡¯d already sliced up.


    ¡°No need to exchange.¡± Yue Zhishi hurriedly waved a hand at him.


    ¡°It¡¯s not an exchange.¡± Standing up, Song Yu placed the plate in front of Yue Zhishi, his tall shadow enveloping him. ¡°I was slicing it up for you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was somewhat stunned, quietly saying thank you before stuffing a piece into his mouth. The adults were joking with things such as ¡®it must be nice to have an older brother¡¯. Yue Zhishi¡¯s cheeks were bulging from the food, and he occasionally glanced at Song Yu as he chewed.


    It was time to relax after eating, and everyone sat in the front courtyard, drinking tea. Song Yu sat there for a while, reading a few pages of a book on a rocking chair, and started to feel slightly tired. And so he went upstairs, hearing the sound of overlapping footsteps when he arrived at the third floor.


    Like a hunter waiting for his prey to fall into his trap, he waited behind his room door ¡ª he even obtained a flustered look.


    ¡°Are¡­ Are you going to sleep?¡± Yue Zhishi asked, looking at Song Yu.


    ¡°Maybe.¡± Song Yu pulled open his door slightly wider, like an invitation for someone to enter his room.


    ¡°Don¡¯t sleep.¡± Yue Zhishi went in very naturally, and he even caught Song Yu¡¯s wrist. ¡°I knew you were coming, so I spent several days planning. I wrote down all the fun, beautiful places in England and waited for you. And yet now you want to sleep during such a nice day.¡±


    He added, ¡°You don¡¯t know how hard it is to get nice weather in England.¡±


    Song Yu now believed English people all liked to discuss the weather. At the same time, he now realised there was a strange quality about Yue Zhishi: he held the sincerity and self-confidence of someone who¡¯d never been hurt before. He could express himself without worrying about anything, and he was shy within reason, not feeling awkward simply because it was their first meeting. He approached him very naturally, and wasn¡¯t scared of being rejected.


    Of course, Song Yu also had no way of rejecting Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°Then let¡¯s carry out your plans.¡± Song Yu thought of the nickname Yue Zhishi¡¯s mother had called him over the phone in the car, and so he added for himself, ¡°Little tour guide.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know what the Chinese words of ¡®tour guide¡¯ meant, but he became really excited after asking. ¡°I¡¯ll definitely be an extremely amazing tour guide.¡±


    He took Song Yu biking around the coastline. There wasn¡¯t a beach filled with fine white sand here, but the coastline was filled with sparkling cobblestones. A small store sold strawberry waffles overflowing with cream by the side of the road, and even though Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t eat waffles, he still turned back to look at it three times before Song Yu himself said he really wanted to have one.


    ¡°Really?¡± Yue Zhishi was very surprised, rapidly stopping his bike. ¡°I¡¯ll buy one for you.¡±


    But Song Yu only had one bite before handing it to him, saying it was too sweet. Yue Zhishi forked a really large strawberry covered with cream into his mouth, and he mumbled, ¡°But it tastes okay.¡±


    ¡°Strawberry waffle.¡± Song Yu pointed at the container in his hand. ¡°You eat the strawberries, I¡¯ll handle the waffle.¡±


    They reached an agreement, the understanding between them as natural as though they¡¯d grown up together even if they hadn¡¯t.


    Song Yu fell under an illusion of having watched Yue Zhishi grown up, but a vividly alive Yue Zhishi was standing in front of him with so many gorgeous details Song Yu had never thought of: the shallow dimple at the corner of his mouth whenever he smiled, how he rubbed his arms as he spoke, the confidence as he introduced the town¡¯s architecture.


    ¡°This is one of England¡¯s most open places. The LGBT community celebrates and marches here every summer. Everything would be covered in rainbows and would be really beautiful.¡±


    Having reached this topic, he tentatively tried to read Song Yu¡¯s expression.


    ¡°Really?¡± Song Yu mildly said, ¡°Sounds nice.¡±


    The ocean was in front of their eyes, and they walked on top of the cobblestones with their shoes on. Men and women, dressed in bikinis and swimming trunks, filled the beach. Yue Zhishi took Song Yu to the edge of the water and suggested for him to take off his shoes, to experience the water. Song Yu did so, and with their shoes in their hands, they stood there, the salty sea breeze wafting up their clothes and the tide surging up to caress their feet and ankles.


    ¡°So cold.¡± Yue Zhishi was grinning like a small child, and he drew a bit closer to Song Yu, his round big toe brushing against the edge of Song Yu¡¯s sole. Their feet were different in size, and Song Yu¡¯s skin was slightly darker, Yue Zhishi appearing even paler in the water like a luminous piece of porcelain.


    Song Yu also shifted closer slightly; he even stepped on the back of Yue Zhishi¡¯s fair and soft foot with half of his own. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t move away.


    A movement like that was even more intimate than holding hands.


    When Song Yu pulled back his foot, water undulating, Yue Zhishi placed his own foot on top of Song Yu¡¯s ¡ª and then he tilted up his face to him, smiling.


    ¡°Is this revenge?¡± Song Yu said.


    ¡°This is communication,¡± Yue Zhishi said, face serious. They stood shoulder to shoulder in the midst of ocean water and sea breeze, arm grazing against arm. Yue Zhishi lowered his head, measuring, and then he grabbed Song Yu¡¯s wrist and lifted it high ¡ª it wasn¡¯t to hold hands with him, but rather, it was to measure Song Yu¡¯s wrist with his thumb and index finger. He wasn¡¯t able to circle around Song Yu¡¯s wrist completely. The flesh of his fingers, separated by skin, pressed onto Song Yu¡¯s protruding wrist bones, Song Yu¡¯s veins pulsing with life.


    ¡°I have a watch,¡± Yue Zhishi said, holding onto his wrist. ¡°It¡¯ll really suit you.¡±


    ¡°Yours?¡± Song Yu turned his hand and also caught onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s very slender wrist.


    ¡°Yes, but I¡¯ve only worn it once. Actually¡­¡±


    As he spoke, a caucasian girl with brown hair in a black bikini headed towards them, her eyes locked onto Song Yu¡¯s body and sizing up his broad shoulders and outstanding features. Standing in front of Song Yu, she very enthusiastically asked if he was here as an overseas student or on a holiday, and asked if he wanted to enjoy a cocktail with her at the bar nearby.


    Yue Zhishi had also raised his face at this time, his eyebrows faintly drawn together.


    Song Yu refused her, saying, ¡°I¡¯ve already had some alcohol.¡±


    The girl keenly understood his meaning, as well as the opposition coming from the boy next to him. She couldn¡¯t help but laugh. ¡°Ah, sorry. I didn¡¯t know you guys were together.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s knit eyebrows spread open, and they turned into the eyebrows of a panic-stricken face. He awkwardly shook his head, but he wasn¡¯t quite willing to shake his head too definitively.


    ¡°We¡­¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t deny it, but neither did he admit it; instead, he wrapped a hand around Yue Zhishi¡¯s wrist. The girl left after saying I won¡¯t bother you guys on your date anymore.


    ¡°We¡¯re not on a date,¡± Yue Zhishi weakly said, once she¡¯d disappeared.


    Song Yu let go. ¡°Seeing each other for the first time after so many years ¡ª to say it a bit more solemnly, it could be considered as keeping an appointment.¡±


    Yue Zhishi did his best to understand what he was saying, and he saw the faint red mark left on his wrist after Song Yu had held it.


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t finished speaking, earlier.¡± Yue Zhishi gazed at the side of Song Yu¡¯s face. ¡°That watch I¡¯ve only worn once ¡ª I actually bought it for you.¡±


    ¡°I wanted to send you a birthday present.¡±


    And yet they were only allowed to send letters to each other.


    ¡°But that would be against the rules, right?¡± Yue Zhishi seemed to be talking to himself.


    ¡°I¡¯m in front of you now.¡± Song Yu was also looking back at him. ¡°I broke the rules first.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyelashes gently quivered, his eyes clear yet confused.


    Song Yu said, ¡°Did you know you once sent the wrong letter?¡±


    Seeing apprehension flare within Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes, Song Yu continued speaking.


    ¡°It was a half complete letter. You crossed out more than half of it.¡±


    [Song Yu gege, every time my asthma flares up, I always feel really depressed for a long time. Being unhealthy makes me really distressed, and every time it happens, I never want you to come and see me. When you come, I want to be healthy, to be filled with strength and energy. I hope you¡¯ll like the real me (I get rashes when I¡¯m sick, it¡¯s really ugly) and not just the name written in these letters. It¡¯s so strange; I actually don¡¯t remember seeing you as a child anymore, but I really miss you. Why do humans miss someone they¡¯ve never seen before?


    In the entire world, you¡¯re the only person to whom I can pour out my heart so utterly and completely. My family, my friends ¡ª none of them can take your place. As long as I see a letter from you in my mailbox, it doesn¡¯t matter what I¡¯ve gone through that day; I would be happy. You wouldn¡¯t believe me, but I had a dream about you while in bed after my asthma attack. We met, and we didn¡¯t shake each other¡¯s hands. Instead, you kissed my cheek and said in English, ¡®lovely to see you¡¯.


    The terrible thing is, that wasn¡¯t the worst of it. When I woke up, I actually felt so much regret ¡ª I wanted that kiss to land on my lips.


    Does that mean I like]


    ¡°Zhishi.¡± It was the first time he used that shortened name, one he¡¯d thought about so many times and always wanted to write at the beginning of his letters. But he¡¯d waver and change his mind every time he lowered his pen and started to write.


    That final incomplete sentence ¡ª seemingly calmly, Song Yu asked him face to face.


    ¡°Does that mean you like me?¡±

 CH Extra 6

    Extra 6: If (ÏÂ)


    [Joey, hello. I was busy with university applications last time I received your letter, which is why this letter¡¯s coming a bit late. Apologies for the long wait. My parents received a call from your dad yesterday, and they said you were sick a while back. I don¡¯t know if it was serious or not, but I hope you¡¯re better by the time you receive this letter.


    Once everything¡¯s settled down, I¡¯ll fly over to see you. I actually really care about your body, so maybe you can try writing down an instruction manual for your day to day life and send it to me. If I can familiarise myself with it early, then I¡¯ll be able to avoid making any mistakes.


    I hope our first meeting will be perfect.]


    Because of how that letter had ended, Yue Zhishi had been convinced the person writing that final sentence was a perfectionist.


    Firstly, his handwriting was extremely graceful. From his upright, standard characters of childhood to the stylistic promise in the writing of his teenage years to its current matured script, Yue Zhishi had earnestly tried to copy every single phase. It was why his Chinese handwriting was so similar to Song Yu¡¯s, but it wasn¡¯t exactly the same.


    Secondly, Song Yu¡¯s letters never had a single wrinkle, and neither did they have any unnecessary smells. They were as clean as though they were freshly made. His signature at the end almost always looked exactly the same each time, looking like a stamp printed by a machine. If even letters had to go through quality control, then Song Yu¡¯s letters would definitely be marked as excellent.


    Finally, his request to receive a manual ¡ª it highlighted even more his unwillingness to make mistakes.


    His thoughts having reached this point, Yue Zhishi enthusiastically jumped out of bed, sat down at his desk and turned on the lamp, rapidly scribbling down things about himself on a piece of scrap paper. His allergens, the medications he took, the thunder he hated¡­ But then, as he reached the end, Yue Zhishi suddenly felt nervous.


    Song Yu was unwilling to make mistakes.


    Then would his own feelings for him count as a mistake Song Yu would need to avoid?


    That question left teenaged Yue Zhishi at a loss for the first in his life.


    He didn¡¯t know how he ended up liking an older brother who existed only within pen and paper. It sounded a bit weird, like a plot from a fiction novel written in the previous century. But then he thought ¡ª many people in this day and age would also fall in love with fictional characters or with images carefully constructed on social media. He wasn¡¯t so pitiful compared to them: Song Yu was someone who existed in real life, after all. As long as he wanted to do so, he could break the rules and see him whenever he wanted.


    And Song Yu was just so outstanding. He was willing to listen to Yue Zhishi, and he¡¯d steadily given him care and attention as they¡¯d grown up. It didn¡¯t matter how many strange things he wrote in his letters; Song Yu understood them all, and returned back to him a continuous stream of new inspiration and insight.


    He was the person furthest away from Yue Zhishi in the entire world, and yet he was also the existence closest to him, no barriers in between.


    How could he not like Song Yu?


    Yue Zhishi had started to worry as soon as he¡¯d  understood his own heart. Even though he was relatively confident in himself, he also knew very well that he wasn¡¯t perfect. There was nothing wrong with homosexuality, but it was less common. When placed onto him and Song Yu, the likelihood of both of them being homosexual at the same time was almost zero.


    He had more fantasies about Song Yu than about any other person in the world. At night, he would listen to the wind outside the window and imagine how Song Yu would look ¡ª Song Yu should be better looking than every other Chinese person he¡¯d seen.


    When reading his letters, Yue Zhishi would often fantasise about Song Yu speaking to him. Chinese was such a wonderful tonal language; the combination of its four tones made speaking as tonally rich and beautiful as singing. Song Yu would definitely also have a voice that could deliver those magical tones ¡ª and so Yue Zhishi worked very hard at learning them. But it was truly very hard: other than his father, Yue Zhishi essentially couldn¡¯t find anyone else with whom who he could practice Standard Chinese, and so he regularly spoke incorrectly. He even once wrote in a letter that if he didn¡¯t take care with the difference between the fourth tone and the second tone, he would end up reading out Song Yu¡¯s (y¨´) name as Song Fish (y¨²). Song Yu would then turn into an adorable little fish.


    And Song Yu had replied, ¡°I believe you can do it, you¡¯re a really smart student. But being a little fish wouldn¡¯t be too bad.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was both delighted and distressed at receiving a reply like that, faintly feeling as though Song Yu was indulging him. He couldn¡¯t tell if the indulgence came from ¡®like¡¯, or if it came from the care between friends ¡ª or if it came from the encouragement meant for someone younger.


    The more he thought about it, the grimmer he felt.


    That kind of confusion and anxiety became worse whenever Yue Zhishi was sick. He wrote many, many letters with a dazed and disorientated mind, and he also abandoned many of them. Not wanting to keep Song Yu waiting, he rushed to send off a letter on the very last day with his body still sick and heavy.


    He didn¡¯t expect to have sent away the wrong one.


    That ruined the entire plan Yue Zhishi had originally created. His plan had been to keep himself sufficiently mysterious before meeting Song Yu for the first time, so that Song Yu would be as eager as himself to meet; he would maintain his health and energy, and then probe Song Yu to see if he rejected homosexuality. If Song Yu didn¡¯t, then he would do his utter best and try to pursue him¡­


    It was why he¡¯d specifically left London early once he knew Song Yu was on his way over. It was also why he¡¯d found an excuse to not pick him up ¡ª the airport wasn¡¯t a place for romantic encounters. And it was also why he¡¯d chosen to not foolishly wait by the door as Song Yu had driven up to the holiday home.


    Those plans Yue Zhishi had pondered over for a very long time ¡ª in the end, they were ruined by a mistakenly sent letter.


    The ocean breeze blew his hair onto his cheeks, pieces of it sticking to the bridge of his nose. Yue Zhishi uneasily wiped his hair away with his fingers, pushing down the panic he could feel rising up, but he couldn¡¯t hold it in completely; he rapidly blinked several times in the wind.


    The tide surged over them once again, this time washing over a third of his calves.


    Seeing how Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t respond, Song Yu spoke again. ¡°Was I too direct?¡±


    He guessed that Yue Zhishi would deny it before trying to explain something, stumbling over his words.


    But things would always go against expectations.


    A chagrined, even somewhat discouraged, look appeared on Yue Zhishi¡¯s face. He lowered his face and pressed his lips together, a good few seconds passing before he raised his eyes to look at Song Yu. In a spiteful voice, he complained, ¡°Yes, and it¡¯s because of you.¡±


    ¡°I avoided all those mistakes so carefully, but it was no use at all. You still ended up finding out.¡±


    For some inexplicable reason, for an instant, Song Yu felt like their words to each other were very familiar, as though he¡¯d heard them somewhere before ¡ª like a delusion that had come from an entirely different world and time. He even had a premonition that perhaps Yue Zhishi would start crying.


    He hoped he wouldn¡¯t.


    But Yue Zhishi, in this time, didn¡¯t cry.


    ¡°You ruined my plan.¡± The sound of his voice as he complained was familiar to Song Yu, because Song Yu had already imagined a sound like that a countless amount of times as he read Yue Zhishi¡¯s letters. Yue Zhishi¡¯s real voice was more beautiful and pleasant to listen to than the one he¡¯d imagined.


    Yue Zhishi raised up a foot slightly and kicked the water, looking like he was letting out some of the despondency in his heart, the spray of the water splashing onto Song Yu¡¯s pants. Soon after, Yue Zhishi tilted up his face and used those incomparably clear amber eyes to look directly at Song Yu. ¡°I do like you. And I also want to pursue you.¡±


    As though thinking he sounded too impulsive, Yue Zhishi called him by his name like an adult. ¡°Song Yu, I¡¯m really serious.¡± And in order to sound even more earnest, he even switched to his mother language, in which he could speak more precisely and not make a mistake. ¡°You know I¡¯m not a perfect person. That¡¯s why I wanted to use a perfect plan to get you to like me ¡ª at least, the chances of it happening would be higher.¡±


    His English words came much faster, and they sounded like they left his mouth without him thinking about them, both blunt and candid. Tiny little expressions flickered over his face, even looking a bit exaggerated. ¡°You¡¯re probably wondering what kind of freak I am to like someone who writes me letters every month, but you should actually think this way instead: I ended up liking the person you portray yourself as in your letters and wasn¡¯t attracted by something else. Unlike the other people who like you, that means I don¡¯t care as much about your appearance.¡±


    Song Yu seemed to think what he¡¯d said was a bit funny; he looked like he was holding back a laugh.


    And so Yue Zhishi felt offended. ¡°Is that funny?¡±


    Song Yu shook his head extremely casually, and he also used English to say to him, ¡°No. I was just thinking you¡¯re really cute.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s ears flushed once again. His heart was beating very quickly, the speed of it the same as whenever he silently read out Song Yu¡¯s letters and pondered over the meaning behind them, trying to find vague hints of Song Yu also feeling the same way towards him. But Song Yu¡¯s writing was always so impartial ¡ª his words were so delicately written that they couldn¡¯t be considered as hints at all. Over many, many nights, they poured over Yue Zhishi like hot rainwater and drenched him from inside to out; they surged over him with life, no part of him left dry.


    At this moment, because of Song Yu¡¯s one single compliment, that hot rain flooded over him and left Yue Zhishi with no way to resist. He was about to fall down into the rain.


    ¡°Am¡­ Am I cute?¡± In his nervousness, Yue Zhishi¡¯s languages tangled up and turned into a mix of English and Chinese. When Chinese came out of his mouth, he realised he was speaking it in a supremely strange accent ¡ª and that was a stupid thing he had previously determined to never let happen in front of Song Yu.


    The amusement in the corners of Song Yu¡¯s mouth became even more obvious, and he switched back to Chinese very considerately, following along with Yue Zhishi. ¡°Yes, you¡¯re really cute. And also very noble for not liking my appearance. Not shallow at all.¡±


    ¡°I like how you look too.¡± Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but correct him, and he also reminded Song Yu, ¡°I already complimented you when I first saw you. But liking your appearance doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯m superficial and ignoble. You can¡¯t blame an admiring heart.¡±


    ¡°Classmate Yue Zhishi, your translation-ese is way too obvious.¡± Song Yu pretended to be a strict Chinese private tutor. ¡°I told you long ago not to learn Chinese through English-translated Chinese poems and books.¡±


    But Yue Zhishi stayed firm, not letting Song Yu¡¯s interruption change the topic of the conversation. ¡°It¡¯s fine as long as you understand what I¡¯m saying. Song Yu, did you understand? I really like you.¡±


    The peach fuzz on his face was translucent underneath the afternoon sun, and it made him look soft and warm. He¡¯d only just finished speaking when he lifted up both his hands, palms facing Song Yu. ¡°Don¡¯t rush to reject me, it¡¯s fine even if you don¡¯t feel that way towards me right now. I can pursue you.¡±


    Suddenly, Song Yu placed one of his broad and dry palms against Yue Zhishi¡¯s, and his eyes also met his. His incomparably handsome face was quiet and tranquil.


    ¡°How would you pursue me?¡± he first asked, and then he continued speaking. ¡°I hear British people really care about others entering their personal spaces. Are you pursuing me by letting me sleep in your bed? Or by letting me see how you looked showering with your upper body bare? Or perhaps by taking me to see the LGBT community¡¯s rainbow parade and then getting some flash of inspiration?¡±


    ¡°Yue Zhishi.¡± He used an abundantly alluring voice to call his name and, as though he was pronouncing a judgment, asserted with complete certainty, ¡°That¡¯s not called pursuing. That¡¯s called seducing.¡±


    Yue Zhishi froze; for a moment, he thought he was going to have an asthma attack. Why else would he find it hard to breathe ¡ª why else would he start sweating and feel his heart palpitating.


    He subconsciously said no, wanting to deny it, but before he could pull his hands away, Song Yu curved down his fingers and pushed them down between the spaces of Yue Zhishi¡¯s fingers like the cogs of two gears fitting together.


    ¡°You¡¯re still not admitting it? The fish¡¯s already on the hook.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Yue Zhishi frowned in doubt, and then he used English to say that¡¯s not possible. He seemed really afraid of misunderstanding something, so he said to Song Yu in a request, ¡°Don¡¯t use metaphors.¡±


    Song Yu swung down that hand interlocked with Yue Zhishi¡¯s fingers, and he responded to every single thing Yue Zhishi had previously said. ¡°You don¡¯t need to pursue me, because I¡¯m not planning on rejecting you. I feel the same way towards you.¡±


    He raised an eyebrow. ¡°I like you. Understand?¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought he was going to drown in this blinding sea.


    He belatedly felt Song Yu¡¯s thumb stroking and rubbing the skin on the back of his hand, and he abruptly pulled away his hand in a bit of reflex. Certain sensitive nerves in his body were ignited by Song Yu, and a flush climbed up his face, his hands and legs weakening.


    ¡°Then now¡­ We¡­¡± He was a bit flustered, as though the one who¡¯d just frankly expressed his feelings wasn¡¯t himself.


    ¡°If someone else comes by to hit on me,¡± Song Yu¡¯s mouth curved, ¡°you can tell her we¡¯re together.¡±


    Everything felt like a summer night¡¯s dream. Successfully obtaining the person he adored on the first day they met again ¡ª in that moment, Yue Zhishi felt like he was the luckiest person in the world. But because he hadn¡¯t planned what he would do after successfully pursuing Song Yu, he became much clumsier afterwards compared to his confession.


    He took Song Yu along the coastline, and when he saw a gay couple kissing together on the beach, he became so nervous his hands and feet started moving together at the same time. He didn¡¯t dare look at Song Yu; like someone fulfilling their tour guide duties, he said to Song Yu I¡¯ll take you to the White Cliffs and then got on his bike, looking like he was fleeing.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t make fun of him, very indulgently following Yue Zhishi to many places he¡¯d planned out. Together, they saw the White Cliffs and an art gallery painted in a mint colour, as well as numerous buildings painted in rainbow colours. They shuttled back and forth within the large roads and small alleyways of this artistic seaside town, and as night approached, they biked back home together.


    With tacit understanding, they didn¡¯t tell their parents of their changed relationship. It was too fragile, like a baby only just born for one day that needed to be protected in swaddling clothes.


    ¡°Joey, your face¡¯s so red from the sun.¡± Olivia was holding a large bowl of caesar salad. ¡°You should¡¯ve worn your cap.¡±


    Yue Zhishi helplessly stammered out an agreement, and then he followed his nose into the kitchen. ¡°Is this for me?¡±


    Lin Rong chuckled, saying yes. ¡°These are pearl meatballs, I think you¡¯ll like them. Here, try one.¡± She lifted one up on a fork and fed it to Yue Zhishi. He only realised it was really hot when he bit down, and yet he was reluctant to spit it back out ¡ª he could only stand there and open his mouth, puffing out the hot air.


    He looked adorably silly. Walking over, Song Yu poured a cup of ice water and handed it to him before going upstairs by himself to change his clothes.


    Yue Zhishi fell in love with Lin Rong¡¯s cooking through just one dinner¡¯s worth of food, to the point Olivia was jealous. She said, ¡°May as well send you to live at Uncle¡¯s place.¡±


    Yue Yi took a sip of his white wine, smiling. ¡°That¡¯s not a bad idea. Old Song¡¯s better than me at raising children.¡±


    ¡°Stop buttering me up.¡± Song Jin had also had some alcohol, his face flushed. ¡°Joking like that and you haven¡¯t even asked if he wants to live with me.¡±


    ¡°I do.¡± Yue Zhishi nodded very earnestly. ¡°Can I really go?¡±


    ¡°Hahahahaha he took it the most seriously!¡±


    ¡°I see you really have been lured away by your mouth.¡±


    The adults were laughing, yet Yue Zhishi sneaked a look at Song Yu, his ears red. That was the true bait luring him away.


    That night, Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t quite sleep. He kept thinking of Song Yu, who was separated from him by only a wall. Even though they¡¯d only seen each other for ten hours, Yue Zhishi felt like he¡¯d already liked him over many years ¡ª over many times.


    He¡¯d originally thought his nerves were creating trouble and throwing themselves up in arms simply because ten hours was simply too short of a time; he¡¯d thought he would calm down once they spent a bit more time together. But ten days passed, and then thirty ¡ª those feelings remained as deep and etched into him as before.


    Song Yu was going to start university at the end of summer, studying the geology he liked. It was why Yue Zhishi wanted to use this difficult to come by holiday period as much as he could, and during this period of time, they traveled to Shakespeare¡¯s former home, visited the Eden Project in Cornwall and fed black swans at Bourton-on-the-Water. Together with Song Yu, Yue Zhishi touched the bricks of ancient castles, and on those very bricks, they touched and caressed each other¡¯s fingers.


    As they held hands, Yue Zhishi would be so nervous his palm started to sweat ¡ª it was like his body was releasing a sticky fluid trying to attach itself to Song Yu¡¯s hand. As they embraced each other, the pleasant smell on Song Yu¡¯s body would twist around Yue Zhishi¡¯s thoughts, and he would nudge his forehead against the side of Song Yu¡¯s neck without realising, holding back his desire to kiss him. And the palm of Song Yu¡¯s hand ¡ª it would press down and stroke at Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulder blades and waist, separated by clothes. Those feelings were so very hard to endure.


    They ran on the edge of the ocean during bright and cloudless days in their swimming shorts, and when it rained, they wore raincoats over their shirts and took care of little lambs in the pastures permeated with heavy mist.


    During a night at the height of summer, the cicadas madly chirping, Yue Zhishi sat crosslegged on his bed. The two sets of parents had already fallen asleep. He opened the box he¡¯d pulled out and leafed through Song Yu¡¯s letters to him, as well as the many love poems he¡¯d once copied just to write love letters to Song Yu.


    A knock suddenly landed on his door, and Yue Zhishi cautiously asked who it was.


    ¡°Me.¡± Song Yu was standing at the entrance. ¡°Can I come in?¡±


    As soon as Yue Zhishi heard his voice, he foolishly said of course. And so Song Yu, upon entering, saw him frantically hugging a large box before finally giving up on trying to hide it.


    Song Yu walked over to him. ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± He came slightly closer to look at it a bit more carefully. ¡°My letters?¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡± Yue Zhishi nodded.


    Standing by his bed, Song Yu lowered his head to look at him like a refined gentleman. ¡°Why are you looking at them now?¡±


    ¡°I was thinking of you,¡± Yue Zhishi honestly said, smiling at him. ¡°And then you came over.¡±


    Song Yu squeezed his chin, but he didn¡¯t do anything further. Yue Zhishi longed for Song Yu to touch any part of him; his touch created a chain reaction, the tingling sensation travelling from Yue Zhishi¡¯s chin to his fingers and toes.


    ¡°Why¡¯d you come over?¡± Yue Zhishi asked, catching Song Yu¡¯s hand as it pulled away.


    Song Yu first gazed out at the night outside the balcony before returning back to Yue Zhishi¡¯s glowing eyes. ¡°Do you want to look at the stars?¡±


    His invitation was clearly very ordinary, but Yue Zhishi found it extraordinarily romantic, joyfully agreeing. He put on a shirt and then quietly followed Song Yu downstairs. The two of them lay down on the lawn in the backyard, and the tapered blades of grass lightly scraped at Yue Zhishi¡¯s face and neck, the sensation of it similar to Song Yu¡¯s touch.


    Stars were exceptionally bright in rural skies. Song Yu pointed at a faintly red star and said, ¡°That¡¯s Mars.¡±


    ¡°The name describes it well,¡± Yue Zhishi said, commenting on its Chinese name. He then took the initiative, saying, ¡°I want to know where your constellation is. Scorpius.¡±


    Song Yu chuckled. ¡°It¡¯ll be relatively hard to see with just our naked eyes.¡±


    ¡°Never mind, then. I¡¯ve already checked, you really do seem like a Scorpio.¡± Yue Zhishi listed out all the many characteristics of a Scorpio: mysterious, filled with vitality, strongly possessive.


    ¡°And sexual.¡± He turned his face around, looking at Song Yu who was lying by his side.


    Song Yu also gazed at him, quietly watching him for a while. ¡°So strange.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s strange?¡±


    He reached out a hand to stroke Yue Zhishi¡¯s face. ¡°When I¡¯m together with you, I keep finding certain moments very familiar ¡ª as if I¡¯ve experienced them before.¡±


    Yue Zhishi had felt that way as well, and so he slightly widened his eyes.


    ¡°Maybe it¡¯s a parallel universe.¡± Yue Zhishi attempted to give him an explanation. ¡°Do you believe in multiple universes? Maybe we also know each other in another universe. Maybe I also confessed to you and said you¡¯re really like a Scorpio¡­¡±


    He stared up at the sky, feeling even more regretful. ¡°Maybe I grew up together with you in that universe. We would eat dinner together every day and would go to school together. The first person we would see in the morning, as well as the last person we would see before sleeping, would be each other.¡±


    Song Yu let out a soft laugh.


    That would truly be too blissful.


    In that universe, he would have Yue Zhishi¡¯s childhood years, his vivid and lively adolescence ¡ª as well as his future.


    Yue Zhishi shifted slightly closer to Song Yu, placing his head onto his shoulder. ¡°I hope the two of us in that universe are also happy.¡±


    ¡°They definitely are.¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice was certain.


    A very mild fragrance came from the hydrangeas, and as he remained lying down, it made Yue Zhishi feel as dizzy as though he¡¯d secretly had some wine. Song Yu suddenly turned over after staying silent for a few moments, his face blocking half of the stars from Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes. Song Yu¡¯s dark pair of eyes looked like a soft abyss.


    ¡°Say¡­ The me in that universe and the me right now ¡ª who would kiss you first?¡±


    Yue Zhishi grabbed at the grass with his fingers, his eyes rounding wide. He could feel himself about to squeeze out a sweet-smelling liquid from how nervous he was; his breathing stuttered, and he almost forgot to breathe.


    Song Yu¡¯s fingers tugged at Yue Zhishi¡¯s lower lip, the pad of his thumb rubbing against Yue Zhishi¡¯s supple flesh. In a voice filled with coaxing, he asked, ¡°Will you let me win, for once?¡±


    Yue Zhishi breathed out an okay, and then he closed his eyes.


    His one heart was jumping madly out of his chest; it felt like it wanted to shrink down to the size of a cherry before travelling out of his chest to his throat and then to his tongue, before it was deliriously fed into Song Yu¡¯s mouth ¡ª it wanted to be broken down and ground away by Song Yu¡¯s bright teeth before being swallowed. He would then completely and entirely belong to this person.


    In the boundless darkness, the grass was roughly pressed down before springing back up again. It was like dying and then coming back to life, the cycle of hope and desire endlessly turning.


    ¡°I like you, I like you so much.¡± Yue Zhishi bared his heart and expressed his love towards Song Yu during a brief gap in time; no matter which universe he was in, he believed he would do the same. And for him, Song Yu released his most fiercest possessiveness, needing their flesh and bones tightly entwined.


    The night cooled, and they shifted from lying down to sitting up. Holding each other¡¯s hand, they slowly strolled around the dark backyard.


    ¡°You were showering here.¡± Song Yu pointed at a hydrangea bush very precisely. ¡°So beautiful.¡±


    ¡°Of course they¡¯re beautiful, I take care of them myself. I also have white avalanche roses.¡± Yue Zhishi was very proud, and as he spoke, he took Song Yu away. He wanted to take him to see the flowers in the front courtyard ¡ª they were also one of his proudest achievements.


    ¡°I was talking about you.¡± It was rare for Song Yu to be so frank. He would forever remember how Yue Zhishi had looked that day as he turned around.


    ¡°You were many times better looking than how I¡¯d imagined you being.¡±


    It was very easy for Yue Zhishi to become nervous because of his words. ¡°All right¡­¡± They walked past the house, so Yue Zhishi lowered his voice. ¡°That means your imagination¡¯s not creative enough.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s already quite creative.¡± Song Yu kneaded his fingers, walking with him to the front yard.


    Yue Zhishi stood still in front of the bushes of roses and turned his face sideways to look at him. ¡°What have you thought about?¡±


    Song Yu lightly lifted a brow. ¡°Do you want to hear daytime thoughts or nighttime thoughts?¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± This time, he understood Song Yu¡¯s hint very quickly.


    ¡°Your Chinese¡¯s improved.¡±


    ¡°You¡­¡±


    Staring at those snow white roses, Song Yu once again interrupted him. ¡°I heard Uncle Yue say today that before you were born, our parents had an agreement. That if you were a girl, they would marry you to me.¡±


    ¡°But I¡¯m a guy,¡± Yue Zhishi stressed.


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t matter. In any case, you were already mine when you were just an embryo.¡± Song Yu smiled and asked Yue Zhishi, ¡°Did you plant these flowers for your own wedding bouquet?¡±


    ¡°Song Yu!¡± Yue Zhishi was a bit agitated from his teasing.


    But Song Yu steadily, tranquilly stretched out a hand and chose a rose blossomed to its most beautiful moment. He cut it down, removing the thorns on its stem.


    And then placed it behind Yue Zhishi¡¯s ear.


    Under the moonlight, the face of his lover was even gentler and more glorious than that full and abundant white avalanche rose. Song Yu kissed his soft cheek, his hands curving around Yue Zhishi¡¯s face as though it was holding a precious treasure. Leaning against his clear and smooth forehead, in a tender voice, Song Yu said ¡ª


    ¡°I love you, Yue Zhishi.¡±


    ¡°No matter what universe we¡¯re in, I love you.¡±

 CH Extra 7

    Extra 7: Days of Their Lives (Full Story, End)


    During the winter break of his fourth year of university, Yue Zhishi received UCL¡¯s offer the eve of Lunar New Year after being painfully swamped for over half a year with studying for the IELTS exam and applying for universities at the same time. Song Yu, about to graduate with his master¡¯s degree, received an offer as well. When the good news arrived, Lin Rong both laughed and cried, overjoyed that both her sons were so excellent but upset because they were about to leave her for a while to study overseas.


    ¡°Aunt Rong, if you miss us, just buy a ticket and fly over to see us,¡± Yue Zhishi said, comforting her. His head was on her shoulder, his arms wrapped around one of hers.


    ¡°True.¡± Lin Rong¡¯s mind turned on, and she started to plan a European tour for herself with England as its starting point. ¡°I¡¯m going to close the restaurant for half a year and have fun with my girlies. I¡¯ll come back when I¡¯ve had enough.¡±


    Song Jin was already very used to Lin Rong not including him in her travel plans. Instead, he thought ruefully of their future university and slipped an arm around Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulders. ¡°So after so many twists and turns, you¡¯re still ending up in England.¡±


    ¡°Gege¡¯s supervisor gave him a recommendation for UCL¡¯s geoscience department, and since he¡¯s also written so many papers, there definitely won¡¯t be problem for him to apply for the CSC scholarship. UCL¡¯s supervisor was really satisfied with him, and they even joked and said to gege, ¡®our profession is to save the world¡¯.¡±


    Lin Rong couldn¡¯t help but scoff, ¡°British people have the same humour is the same as your brother.¡±


    With an indifferent face, Song Yu said, ¡°Ms Lin gave birth well.¡±


    ¡°Hahahahaha.¡±


    Time passed very quickly, the holiday break gone in a flash. After returning back to school, Yue Zhishi busied himself with his graduation thesis, so busy he almost didn¡¯t have time to sleep. The cherry blossom season arrived, and Wuhan U overflowed with people; Yue Zhishi turned in his revised draft and went home that weekend with Song Yu to rest ¡ª just in time to avoid the crowds of people heading in to admire the flowers.


    Early on Saturday morning at 6:30, Song Yu, who had maintained a habit of exercising in the morning, got out of bed and cleaned up. But when he saw how warm and snuggled up Yue Zhishi looked in the blanket, he couldn¡¯t help but sit back on the bed and look at him.


    While still sleeping, Yue Zhishi sensed the bed sinking down slightly. He kept his eyes closed and subconsciously stretched out a pale, narrow arm in a daze, groping around, before finally catching Song Yu¡¯s hand. It had been pressing into the mattress; Yue Zhishi very affectionately shifted over. The blanket on his body didn¡¯t follow along, and the shirt of his pyjamas even rode up and revealed his flat and pale lower belly. He leaned his head against Song Yu¡¯s hips, his arms wrapping around Song Yu¡¯s waist.


    The way he looked made Song Yu think of the hamster he and Yue Zhishi had once seen in a pet store. They¡¯d crouched down to look at it, and the hamster had also clenched his eyes shut like that when sleeping ¡ª his tiny paws had also extended out to move around.


    Song Yu stroked Yue Zhishi¡¯s arms and nudged away the hair lying on his forehead, the pads of his fingers massaging between Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyebrows before sliding downwards to touch his cheeks and bottom lip. Yue Zhishi fidgeted, feeling a bit ticklish, and then he felt Song Yu¡¯s palm touch his belly and grip onto his waist.


    He was originally going to push away Song Yu¡¯s hand, but the next moment, Song Yu¡¯s kiss landed onto the side of his neck. After tossing and turning for a while, Yue Zhishi¡¯s face was flushed, and he fuzzily opened his eyes, his arms around Song Yu¡¯s neck.


    ¡°Are you leaving now?¡± Yue Zhishi was lightly panting, his voice very soft.


    ¡°Mn. Want to come with me?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t want to.¡± Yue Zhishi was very lazy ¡ª he didn¡¯t like exercising.


    ¡°Then sleep a bit longer.¡± Song Yu kissed his forehead. ¡°Is your waist sore?¡±


    Yue Zhishi stared at him a bit blankly, but then he belatedly turned bashful and pulled the blanket up to cover up his head.


    Through the blanket, Song Yu heard his mumbled it¡¯s fine, as well as I¡¯m going to keep sleeping ¡ª and so he caressed Yue Zhishi¡¯s head through the blanket before getting up and leaving.


    He might have said he was going to sleep, but Song Yu¡¯s touching had already taken away all of Yue Zhishi¡¯s drowsiness. He pushed away the blankets after staying inside the nest for a little while, re-fastening his unbuttoned shirt, pulled open the windows to the balcony for some air to come through and then went to clean up.


    Lin Rong had also woken up very early. Yue Zhishi came down in a woollen sweater and saw her setting out breakfast in the dining room.


    ¡°Le Le, why are you up so early?¡± She was holding a plate of three delicacies beancurd skin. ¡°Come and eat, I just bought it from that super popular stall. I had to line up for so long. I even saw your brother on my way back, he said he was going to eat near the gym.¡±


    Yue Zhishi helped her carry over some milk and eggnog, glancing at the living room. ¡°Where¡¯s Uncle?¡±


    ¡°He left for work at the crack of dawn, he has a contract to sign in the morning.¡± Placing down the platter of fruit in her hands, Lin Rong sat down at one end of the table, Yue Zhishi on the other side. ¡°Let¡¯s eat.¡±


    The two of them ate as they pulled up a sitcom from overseas to watch on the iPad at the table. Many families didn¡¯t allow watching television while eating, but Lin Rong was an exception; not only did she allow it, she also took the lead in watching.


    ¡°I need to head to Yanghe Qizhe after 10am to get ready for the baby¡¯s one-month celebration party. You guys should come over and eat as well.¡± Focused on the screen, Lin Rong finished off a piece of green apple. The celebration was for the niece of one of Lin Rong¡¯s good friends; Lin Rong and that friend were very close, and so she¡¯d prepared for a very long time.


    ¡°Oh yes, the housekeeping auntie¡¯s coming over in a bit.¡± Lin Rong looked at her watch. ¡°She should be almost here.¡±


    Taking a sip of milk, Yue Zhishi suddenly remembered the lube and condoms sitting on top of the bedside table and almost spat out the milk. ¡°That¡­ I¡¯ll help gege clean up his room.¡±


    Lin Rong¡¯s eyes shifted over to Yue Zhishi¡¯s face, and she gave him a cute and meaningful smile. ¡°Just how messy is it.¡±


    Yue Zhishi immediately waved a hand and said, ¡°It¡¯s not, it¡¯s really not messy.¡±


    ¡°Fine, then you can clean it.¡± Lin Rong knew Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t handle being teased. She ate another piece of beancurd and then said through the food in her mouth, ¡°Since your brother doesn¡¯t like other people touching his stuff anyway. What about your room?¡±


    ¡°Auntie can clean it.¡±


    ¡°True, since your room exists in name only,¡± Lin Rong laughed.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s ears were very red. ¡°Not really¡­¡±


    ¡°Why don¡¯t we turn it into a movie room so you can use it to watch your anime. Or maybe let¡¯s turn it into a dressing room for you and your brother, the two of you don¡¯t even have your own dressing rooms¡­¡±


    ¡°Ah?¡±


    Lin Rong had just finished bringing up suggestions when she said to herself, ¡°No wait, we still need to leave you a room. If you guys end up fighting, then you¡¯ll still be able to leave him alone and return back to your own room to sleep. Right, Le Le? Actually, you can come over and sleep with me too¡­¡±


    Yue Zhishi wanted to both laugh and cry, saying, ¡°Is that considered as returning to the maiden home?¡±


    Lin Rong immediately clapped. ¡°Precisely.¡±


    After cleaning up the table, Yue Zhishi rapidly went back upstairs to Song Yu¡¯s room. The long, floor-length white curtains floated upwards from the gentle breeze of April ¡ª ever since Yue Zhishi moved in, Song Yu had pulled down those heavy black blinds and returned light and clarity to the room.


    Yue Zhishi pushed those items that could make other people feel awkward into the bedside table¡¯s drawer, folded the blanket and caught sight of Song Yu¡¯s black silk pyjamas lying on the light grey sheets. Song Yu had just changed out of them earlier; even though they were thin and very soft, their buttons were extremely hard to undo.


    The wind of April was as smooth as water, and the scent of an unknown flower flowed inside with it along with the sunlight of early morning. Yue Zhishi grabbed the clothes and experimentally raised his arms ¡ª like water, the clothes unfurled in his palms. He lowered his head and submerged his face into the cloth.


    That unique scent on Song Yu¡¯s body, the only one of its kind, filled Yue Zhishi¡¯s nose and his entire body. Yue Zhishi thought of those lingering fingers on his face earlier that morning, those kisses and embraces. He didn¡¯t realise it, but he sat down on that perfectly made bed that didn¡¯t have a single wrinkle ¡ª that was a great taboo, as it would ruin the work he¡¯d just finished, but his thoughts had already been led astray by Song Yu¡¯s scent. It was as though the blood in his entire body was pushing against the current, and in the end, he even fell backwards onto the bed, still breathing in those pyjamas.


    Yue Zhishi could always ruin things placed in perfect order ¡ª Song Yu¡¯s tidiness, as well as his own.


    People always said that once affection was gained, it would arc downwards, but Yue Zhishi thought his desire for Song Yu seemed to only grow with each passing day. He suddenly had a strange conviction in his mind: perhaps he used to be a certain part of Song Yu¡¯s body in his previous life, and that was why he felt such a sense of belonging towards Song Yu.


    A stranger¡¯s voice abruptly came through the door, and it interrupted Yue Zhishi¡¯s fanciful thoughts. He heard Lin Rong greet the housekeeping auntie, and his thoughts cleared up for a moment, remembering why he came back to the room.


    The pyjamas, the chief culprit to be blamed for his distraction, were ruthlessly folded up and placed onto the cream-coloured small sofa. Heading towards the desk, Yue Zhishi closed his laptop, organised the various kinds of documents and writings he¡¯d left on the table and returned his pens back to the penholder. Song Yu¡¯s desk was once again clean and tidy. Yue Zhishi picked up a National Geographic magazine and walked to the bookcase, putting it with all the other ones.


    He stood there for a bit, and then Yue Zhishi suddenly realised a very thick book without its outer cover lay on the very top shelf of Song Yu¡¯s bookcase. The inside cover was a light yellow-green colour, and there was no title on the side of the book. Slightly curious, Yue Zhishi took it down; he¡¯d just flipped it open to the title page when he saw a row of handwriting ¡ª it was his own.


    [Song Yu gege, happy birthday!]


    Yue Zhishi was able to guess it was from his junior high years, seeing the ¡®gege¡¯ and how his handwriting looked. When he saw the title of the book on the table of contents page ¡ª You Breathe in the Sun, I Breathe in the Moon (A Selection of Anna Akhmatova¡¯s Love Poems) ¡ª he couldn¡¯t help but marvel at his own taste back then. His thoughts whirling, he thought he had only been attracted by the name of the book; he hadn¡¯t actually read through it before buying it immediately.


    Now that he thought about it, sending love poems to Song Yu during puberty really hadn¡¯t been a good idea¡­


    He lightly skimmed through the pages, the book falling open at a certain page ¡ª there was a folded piece of paper stuck inside. Yue Zhishi first brought out the paper, and then his gaze paused on the page, on the few sentences Song Yu had underlined.


    [But I didn¡¯t look after my heart well


    Someone has stolen it away from me]


    [I easily guessed who the thief was


    I could see who he was just by his eyes


    Except I¡¯m afraid that the heart he stole away


    Would be too quickly, too promptly returned back to me.]


    Song Yu¡¯s black underlining was different from those words brimming with emotion; the line was straight and precise, as proper as himself, and the words didn¡¯t seem like language he would approve of ¡ª except, in a bout of contradiction, he had underlined them.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart raced simply by reading those lines, and just like the poem, he could hear the sound of ¡®dragonfly wings¡¯ in his chest. The folded piece of paper slipped out of his loose hand and fell onto the floor. Closing the book, Yue Zhishi picked back up the piece of paper folded into a square and opened it.


    There were no words on the paper, and neither were there any calculation formulas. Instead, there was something even more unfitting of Song Yu¡¯s clean handwriting strokes: many, many drafts of a piece of cheese. The only thing that looked like Song Yu on the paper was the neat and orderly arrangement of each drawing, each attempt next to each other. The first few drawings looked a bit stiff, not quite cute ¡ª the piece of cheese only started to look slightly rounder, cartoon-like, near the end.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyebrows faintly drew together as he stared at the cheese blocks, thinking they looked very familiar. A few seconds later, he remembered the sketchbook Song Yu had given him so casually upon graduating high school: the logo etched onto the cover had been this piece of cheese.


    He was somewhat puzzled ¡ª why did Song Yu copy the brand logo so many times? Was it simply because he found it nice-looking?


    A knock landed on the door, and Yue Zhishi turned around, hearing Lin Rong say, ¡°Le Le, come down and help me change the sofa cover.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± Yue Zhishi placed the paper back into the book, returning everything back to their previous positions, and went downstairs to help Lin Rong. They¡¯d just finished changing the cover when Yue Zhishi heard the sound of the front door opening; holding the old sofa cover in his arms to carry into the laundry room, he looked over at the entrance hallway. As expected, he saw Song Yu in a black sweater and a dark blue baseball cap.


    ¡°You¡¯re back.¡± Lin Rong stood up. ¡°Did you bring home some yoghurt for me?¡±


    Song Yu let out a ¡®mn¡¯, putting the bag in his hand onto the tea table, and asked Yue Zhishi, ¡°Slept enough?¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t keep sleeping.¡± Thinking of how he¡¯d actually done so much work that morning only to be misunderstood, Yue Zhishi was a bit dissatisfied. He started walking towards the laundry room with the sofa cover in his arms, but then Song Yu arrived at the door to the laundry before he did and blocked his way. The laundry was connected to the main balcony, and its entrance was very wide. Yue Zhishi shifted towards the left, and Song Yu followed him, not letting him enter. Yue Zhishi moved towards the right ¡ª so did Song Yu.


    ¡°Song Yu, you¡¯re so childish,¡± Yue Zhishi said, tilting up his head to look at him. ¡°You weren¡¯t this childish even in high school.¡±


    At the sofa, Lin Rong clarified, ¡°Wrong. He¡¯s never been this childish since he was born.¡±


    There was a smile curling up the corners of Song Yu¡¯s mough ¡ª he liked the look on Yue Zhishi¡¯s face after being teased, and so he caught Yue Zhishi¡¯s chin and kissed him.


    That scared Yue Zhishi, worried Lin Rong would see. He pushed at Song Yu, but Song Yu ended up slipping his arms around his waist and saying, ¡°You didn¡¯t sleep longer even though I gave you the opportunity?¡± Song Yu¡¯s body was warm, the heat from exercising.


    ¡°I couldn¡¯t sleep,¡± Yue Zhishi replied.


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because¡­¡± Yue Zhishi pursed his lips and then decided to answer frankly. ¡°It was your fault, and yet you¡¯re still asking me.¡±


    Hearing the answer he wanted, Song Yu let Yue Zhishi go, and he even nodded with a bit of approval for himself. ¡°Yes, my fault.¡± He even very considerately set the time on the washing machine and turned it on for Yue Zhishi after he stuffed the sofa cover into it with his ears reddened.


    Lin Rong came over with the remaining cushion covers, clicking her tongue the entire way. Yue Zhishi¡¯s ears flushed even harder.


    She told her son to let her through, and then she said, ¡°Song Yu, you know you¡¯re turning more and more indecent, right?¡±


    ¡°You gave birth well,¡± Song Yu returned.


    Lin Rong kept shaking her head, attempting to drag Yue Zhishi onto her side of the argument. ¡°Le Le, don¡¯t bother with him. Come, follow me to Yanghe Qizhe.¡±


    But Song Yu unexpectedly said, ¡°I¡¯m taking him out for lunch later, we have plans with friends.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡± Yue Zhishi had no idea. ¡°When did we make plans? With who?¡±


    ¡°Organised this morning.¡± Song Yu leaned against the washing machine and reached out to tug off Yue Zhishi¡¯s hair tie. His hair drifted down from the small ponytail he¡¯d tied up behind his head, slightly wavy. ¡°I think you¡¯ll be really happy when you see them.¡±


    ¡°All right, then.¡± Sensing that it was a surprise, Lin Rong shrugged. ¡°Remember to come by Yanghe Qizhe later tonight for the one month celebration.¡±


    Yue Zhishi followed Song Yu out of the house after changing clothes. He didn¡¯t know where he going nor who he was going to see, and the even stranger thing was ¡ª Song Yu didn¡¯t drive.


    ¡°Are we eating at a place close by?¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not nearby,¡± Song Yu said. He was holding Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand, and they walked past a crosswalk and entered a subway station, getting onto that pink Line 2 train along with everyone else. There were too many people; Yue Zhishi and Song Yu stood at the carriage doors, leaning very closely to each other.


    ¡°I¡¯ve taken a photo of you here before,¡± Song Yu suddenly said.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes slightly widened, expressing his surprise. ¡°When?¡±


    ¡°That time you were following me.¡± Song Yu studied his face, as though believing Yue Zhishi would¡¯ve definitely forgotten about that unimportant little matter. But to Song Yu, whether it had been the clumsy boy following behind him, the two words of ¡®family member¡¯ he¡¯d blurted out upon checking in or even how Yue Zhishi had fallen asleep on his shoulder ¡ª that day had made him happy for a very long time.


    Yue Zhishi finally remembered that day, and he even very smartly managed to guess where they were going to eat. ¡°You¡¯re taking me to that Japanese restaurant?¡±


    ¡°Are we seeing¡­¡±


    Once they were almost at the restaurant, Yue Zhishi confirmed all of his own guesses ¡ª including his guess about who Song Yu had said he would be really happy to see.


    ¡°You guys are finally here!¡± Sitting near the floor to ceiling windows, Xia Zhixu waved a long arm at them, his face bright with a sunny smile so similar to the one many years ago. ¡°Hurry up.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was delighted, and he was even more so when he saw Xu Qichen faintly smiling at him. ¡°Senior Qichen¡­¡±


    Song Yu headed over with an arm around Yue Zhishi, and he sat down across from Xia Zhixu and Xu Qichen. ¡°Have you guys ordered?¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡± Xia Zhixu¡¯s tiger teeth peeped out of his smile. ¡°The same order as last time. What do you think, my memory¡¯s not bad, right.¡±


    Hearing this, the first person to laugh was Xu Qichen; he was very willing to indulge Xia Zhixu. When Yue Zhishi saw amusement over his quiet and still face, he inexplicably felt relieved. He truly hoped the things in the past could remain in the past ¡ª he truly hoped Xu Qichen wouldn¡¯t be caged within those people¡¯s words.


    ¡°I ordered an extra portion of ice cream for you,¡± Xu Qichen said, passing over a cup of tea to Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°Thank you, senior.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes rose from Xu Qichen and landed on Xia Zhixu, and he blinked. Extremely straightforwardly, he asked, ¡°So senior, you guys are together now, right?¡±


    Xia Zhixu had been sipping his tea. He choked at Yue Zhishi¡¯s question, coughing, and patted himself on the chest.


    Song Yu flatly said, ¡°Are you a high school student?¡±


    With his ears tinged with red, Xu Qichen glanced at Xia Zhixu, amused.


    ¡°How¡¯d you know?¡± Xia Zhixu jerked his chin at Yue Zhishi. ¡°Song Yu told you?¡±


    ¡°Nope.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s chin was propped on a hand. ¡°I guessed. I had a feeling last time, but it wasn¡¯t very obvious. I thought about you guys afterwards, and then the more I thought, the more I felt like you guys mutually liked each other.¡±


    ¡°So amazing¡­¡± Xia Zhixu shook his head.


    Song Yu gave Yue Zhishi a piece of sushi. ¡°Yes, more amazing than you.¡±


    ¡°Damned younger brother-con.¡±


    Feeling as though Xia Zhixu was the only person around the table who didn¡¯t know about him and Song Yu, Yue Zhishi told him kindly and candidly, ¡°I¡¯m his boyfriend now.¡±


    Xia Zhixu choked again, and he wrenched his head over to look at Xu Qichen, only to see him with an innocent look on his face. Xu Qichen leisurely said, ¡°Oh, right. I still haven¡¯t told you about them¡­¡±


    ¡°When??¡± Xia Zhixu was in disbelief.


    ¡°During¡­¡± Yue Zhishi took some time to think about it, and the long amount of time he took to remember gave Xia Zhixu an even stronger blow.


    ¡°During my first year of university.¡±


    Xu Qichen nodded. ¡°Around Christmas.¡±


    ¡°You knew?¡± Xia Zhixu thought Xu Qichen had been extremely withdrawn during university and had refused to listen to anything outside his two ears.


    ¡°Mm.¡± Xu Qichen took a bite of his daifuku. ¡°The whole school knew.¡±


    Xia Zhixu now truly did turn depressed. ¡°Song Yu, worthy of being you.¡±


    ¡°Such flattering.¡± Song Yu gave him the last piece of sushi with benevolence.


    The two of them kept needling at each other as they ate and continued talking, sharing with the other what they¡¯d missed out on during the past few years. Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but compare Xia Zhixu today with the shining image he¡¯d given out during high school, and he kept feeling as though Xia Zhixu had lost weight. His voice had also deepened much more compared to before. And yet the emotions flowing between him and Xu Qichen didn¡¯t seem to have changed: they were blooming, as clean as a first love.


    Just as before, their hands resting on the table occasionally brushed against each other, but this time, they didn¡¯t pretend as though nothing had happened and shift slightly away. Instead, as Xia Zhixu continued talking with Song Yu, he subconsciously covered Xu Qichen¡¯s hand with his own and held onto him.


    ¡°So you guys are going to UCL together?¡± Xia Zhixu gave Xu Qichen a piece of tempura. ¡°Not bad, a G5 school.¡±


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t hold back from saying, ¡°But you¡¯re more amazing, you already have your own start-up company.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s just some games,¡± Xia Zhixu modestly chuckled.


    Song Yu raised an eyebrow. ¡°Luckily you know how to make games.¡±


    ¡°I suspect you¡¯re making fun of me.¡± Xia Zhixu pointed at him.


    ¡°Be a bit more confident in your guesses.¡±


    The lunch lasted two hours, and Song Yu was the one to pay this time around. The restaurant was a bit packed, so Yue Zhishi waited at the entrance with Xu Qichen ¡ª the afternoon sun was particularly comfortable, and it was warm and gentle as it landed on his body.


    ¡°Le Le.¡± Xu Qichen took the initiative to speak to him. ¡°When you first got into Wuhan U, I originally wanted to give you something. But I wasn¡¯t in the greatest condition during that time, and I didn¡¯t end up giving it to you because I thought you wouldn¡¯t want it either.¡±


    ¡°I want it,¡± Yue Zhishi blurted out, his eyes sincere as he looked at Xu Qichen.


    Xu Qichen smiled, his voice gentle. ¡°I just happen to need to visit the university next week. I¡¯ll bring it along for you ¡ª it¡¯s a book.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know where the urge came from, but he directly went forward and hugged him. ¡°Thank you.¡±


    He didn¡¯t know if he was grateful because Xu Qichen, during his most trying times, had remembered someone he¡¯d only met once over a meal, or if he was grateful Xu Qichen had been able to walk out of his cage himself ¡ª and then reunite with Xia Zhixu.


    It was as though Xu Qichen silently understood his embrace, and he patted Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulders. ¡°I¡¯m doing well, now.¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡± Yue Zhishi retreated slightly. ¡°I can tell. I¡¯m glad, even though your ending came a bit late.¡±


    Xu Qichen gazed at him, and then he looked out at the cars endlessly streaming past them. ¡°It¡¯s not late.¡±


    His voice was tender. ¡°As long as we can start over, it would never be late. I would be satisfied no matter when.¡±


    Xia Zhixu called out to Xu Qichen from far away, and he slipped an arm around Xu Qichen¡¯s shoulders when he arrived. Song Yu also came to stand next to Yue Zhishi ¡ª and they planned to say goodbye just as they did last time.


    ¡°See you next time.¡±


    Xia Zhixu suddenly remembered something and said, ¡°Oh yeah, I just remembered.¡± He said to Song Yu, ¡°You must¡¯ve made that notebook for Le Le, right? The one you made with me.¡±


    Yue Zhishi tilted his head. ¡°Notebook?¡±


    Xu Qichen also turned to look doubtfully at Xia Zhixu.


    Song Yu, who had always been the winner between Xia Zhixu and him, finally lost his arrogance. ¡°Shut up, you.¡±


    ¡°What? Don¡¯t tell me you still haven¡¯t given it out?¡± It was as if Xia Zhixu finally had something to tease Song Yu with. ¡°Le Le, your brother made a sketchbook for you that time he went with me to Beijing. He made it so carefully, and he almost injured his hand¡­¡± Xia Zhixu only stopped talking under Song Yu¡¯s threats of plugging up his mouth.


    ¡°You mean you made one too?¡± Xu Qichen very keenly caught onto the main point.


    ¡°Ah¡­¡± Xia Zhixu was stricken ¡ª he¡¯d been so focused on messing with Song Yu that he forgot he himself had yet to give his out. ¡°That¡­ You¡¯ll find out when we get back.¡±


    Song Yu and Xia Zhixu, who¡¯d both had their wings clipped during their third year of high school, now departed ¡ª each holding onto his own lover.


    When Yue Zhishi thought back about that piece of paper covered in cheese drawings, all of the clues instantly linked up together.


    That hadn¡¯t been some brand¡¯s logo at all.


    ¡°You etched that block of cheese, didn¡¯t you?¡±


    Song Yu stopped acting so awkward after they entered the subway station, and he admitted it somewhat calmly. ¡°Mn. Xia Zhixu, that stupid guy, refused to leave without making a souvenir so I followed along and made a sketchbook as well. And then he ended up losing his phone in Beijing.¡±


    ¡°That cheese¡­¡± Song Yu paused. ¡°I drew it back then, when I had nothing else to do.¡±


    That final sentence gave Yue Zhishi a peculiar feeling.


    ¡°Was it because my name¡¯s pronounced really similarly to ¡®cheese¡¯?¡±


    Song Yu stared at his eyes, as though not happy about how Yue Zhishi always asked him such candid questions. He only hummed in agreement after a little while passed.


    In this moment, Yue Zhishi finally knew: it hadn¡¯t only been him who had done something so foolish as writing Song Yu¡¯s name again and again during his early teenage years. Song Yu had also done something similar ¡ª he had simply just hidden it better, hiding it behind a lot more defences.


    And no wonder. Yue Zhishi had received his second sketchbook only after Song Yu had returned from a conference in Beijing. Those sketchbooks Yue Zhishi had treasured ¡ª Song Yu hadn¡¯t given them to him casually; they were something Song Yu had personally made, had etched his drawing onto their leather covers by hand.


    And yet he hadn¡¯t said anything. Suddenly, Yue Zhishi was thankful he cherished everything Song Yu had given him. If he¡¯d carelessly lost or wasted those sketchbooks, he would most likely be extremely, extremely upset at trampling on Song Yu¡¯s heart now that he¡¯d learned the truth.


    ¡°You keep not telling me things.¡± Yue Zhishi held onto his hand. ¡°Do you still have a lot of things you haven¡¯t told me?¡±


    They¡¯d already arrived at Yanghe Qizhe¡¯s small alleyway as they spoke. At first, Song Yu didn¡¯t reply, but later, he lowered his head and said, ¡°Mn.¡±


    ¡°Tell me,¡± Yue Zhishi wheedled, hugging his arm.


    Except Song Yu laughed softly. ¡°There are too many.¡±


    ¡°I want to listen to them all. You can tell me one thing every night before bed, like a bedtime story. Okay?¡±


    Pushing open the restaurant door, Song Yu gently consented. ¡°Okay.¡±


    Yanghe Qizhe had been decorated by fresh flowers, and for a moment, it brought Yue Zhishi back to that time they¡¯d prepared it for a wedding. But the flowers this time were richer in colour, and there were also many large toys children liked to play with ¡ª as well as lego blocks and a croquembouche almost as tall as a person.


    ¡°So lively.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re back?¡± Lin Rong placed a balloon to the side, having finished blowing it up.


    ¡°I¡¯ll help you.¡± Yue Zhishi ran to help her with the balloons, only to have his first one explode in his face; he scared himself and stood there in astonishment.


    Standing not too far away, Song Yu froze at first as well, but then he chuckled at Yue Zhishi¡¯s reaction ¡ª he found him more adorable the more he thought about it.


    ¡°Go to the kitchen and try the soup!¡± Song Yu had yet to stop working, and Lin Rong urged him away to the kitchen. ¡°Oh yes, give your dad a call and remind him to come. He needs to make a speech, so tell him to remember to draft one up!¡±


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but say, ¡°Such an occasion.¡±


    ¡°But of course, it¡¯s the first grandchild for my best friend¡¯s family. She also really likes her niece, they¡¯re as close as mother and daughter. Having a new baby in the family is an extremely joyous occasion.¡±


    Seeing the cute photos attached onto the wall, Yue Zhishi¡¯s thoughts started to wander. He grabbed another balloon and said, ¡°Aunt Rong, you¡­¡±


    Lin Rong seemed to read his mind, crisply and plainly telling him, ¡°I don¡¯t want a grandchild.¡±


    Yue Zhishi laughed, in spite of himself. ¡°I haven¡¯t even said anything yet.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s the same whether you say it or not, darling.¡± Lin Rong hugged his shoulders, looking at the photos on the wall with him. ¡°Little children really are cute, but teaching them and taking care of them require a lot of effort. I¡¯ve managed to raise you two to adults, and so I¡¯ve already enjoyed enough the joys of being a mother. Now that you two are grown up, I want to do some things for myself while I still have the energy and desire to do so. My value shouldn¡¯t lie only in being a mother ¡ª I want to be myself too, and not just someone¡¯s mother. Do you understand that?¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded and hugged Lin Rong. ¡°You¡¯ve worked hard.¡±


    He leaned into the hollow of Lin Rong¡¯s shoulder. After saying quiet for a few moments, he used a very soft, almost tentative, voice to say for the first time, ¡°Mom, thank you.¡±


    They¡¯d been joking around just a few moments ago ¡ª but now, at that title, Lin Rong¡¯s nose started to sting, her eyes turning red.


    She also returned Yue Zhishi¡¯s hug, and she stroked up and down his back. ¡°So¡­¡±


    Somewhat childishly, she said, ¡°You¡¯re going to call me mom anyway. Hmph, and Song Jin keeps stopping you. Call me by that name again in front of his face later, you hear me?¡±


    ¡°I hear you, Mom.¡± Yue Zhishi laughed, nodding very obediently in her arms.


    Lin Rong then added, ¡°Don¡¯t call him dad yet.¡±


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t stop laughing. ¡°All right.¡±


    Guests started to pour in, more and more people gathering in Yanghe Qizhe¡¯s front courtyard. It was still not yet time for dinner. After finishing with the balloons, Yue Zhishi went around, searching for Song Yu. He looked into each private room and travelled all the way to the one at the very back, sliding open the door; he saw Song Yu in Yanghe Qizhe¡¯s secret backyard. He was sitting peacefully on the bench underneath the cherry blossom tree, and without a single word, he lifted his eyes and gazed at Yue Zhishi.


    Their whole family of four had transplanted that weeping cherry blossom tree to the backyard when Yue Zhishi had been ten years old. It had grown much larger now, its snow white cherry blossoms studded all over those drooping branches. Under the breeze of early April, those blossoms lightly swayed ¡ª a rain of flowers, snow in colour, drifted downwards in flowing sheets. The orange rays of dusk fell onto that cold-looking tree, and it looked like it was set on fire.


    And Song Yu, sitting under that tree, was extraordinarily pure and elegant. His face was serene, and the setting sun reflected a tinge of that always so hard to see tenderness on his face.


    He stretched out a hand towards Yue Zhishi, who walked towards him and gripped onto his fingers. ¡°You really know how to hide away.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t respond, but he pulled lightly at Yue Zhishi, tugging him into his arms and having him sit on top of his legs. He wrapped his arms around Yue Zhishi, and kissed the side of his neck.


    ¡°I called Aunt Rong ¡®mom¡¯ just then.¡± Yue Zhishi was looking at Song Yu and, noticing a cherry blossom fallen onto his head, reached out to gently pluck it down. Twirling it in his hand, he continued, ¡°She was really happy.¡±


    Song Yu let out a ¡®mn¡¯ and said, ¡°She¡¯d wanted it for a very long time. She just didn¡¯t say it.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re really similar to her in that sense.¡± Yue Zhishi curled his arms around Song Yu¡¯s neck, giving him a sweet yet pure smile.


    Looking at his face, Song Yu was lost in his thoughts ¡ª but he was very quickly pulled back out by Yue Zhishi¡¯s light kiss on his lips.


    ¡°I had a dream last night,¡± he softly said, holding onto Yue Zhishi.


    Yue Zhishi, still yet to let go of that blossom, swept its soft petals over Song Yu¡¯s face. ¡°What did you dream about?¡±


    ¡°I dreamed that¡­ your parents didn¡¯t die, and you grew up in England. You were a very loved child.¡±


    ¡°And then?¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand paused. He seemed to only care about one thing. ¡°Where were you?¡±


    ¡°I was here, but I think I went to look for you and saw you after you grew up.¡± There was a faraway look in Song Yu¡¯s eyes as he recalled what he¡¯d dreamed. ¡°I also remember seeing an ocean and white cliffs.¡± His mouth curved slightly. ¡°We were also together.¡±


    Yue Zhishi knocked his forehead with his own. ¡°And then?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t really remember. I remember us lying on grass together, as well as an endless, happy summer.¡±


    It sounded like a beautiful dream. Yue Zhishi focused on Song Yu¡¯s face, and then with a completely serious face, he said, ¡°Song Yu, you must really like me to have a dream like that.¡±


    Song Yu was amused by his serious expression, and he pinched his face. ¡°You only know that now?¡±


    And then, the amusement on his face faded slightly. He hugged Yue Zhishi and asked, ¡°Baobao, do you think ¡ª if you had your parents and happily grew up like you did in my dream ¡ª would you be less¡­¡± he paused, carefully considering his words, ¡°¡­less regretful.¡±


    Yue Zhishi quieted, getting up to change his sitting position. He switched to straddling over Song Yu¡¯s body, facing each other, and called out gege. His amber eyes were sincere and transparent. ¡°I don¡¯t feel regretful at all.¡±


    His voice was very quiet. ¡°I have no way of comparing myself with a hypothetical me. Of course, I¡¯ve thought about how I¡¯d be like if my parents were still alive, if I would be happier than now. But honestly, it¡¯s already such a wonderful thing to have Aunt Rong and Uncle Song in their roles as my parents. I can¡¯t imagine anyone else better than them in the entire world.¡±


    He pressed against Song Yu¡¯s forehead as he spoke. ¡°Besides, there¡¯s you, too. Being able to grow up together with you ¡ª that¡¯s the luckiest thing I can ever have in my life.¡±


    Song Yu reached up and stroked Yue Zhishi¡¯s soft hair.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think that dream¡¯s all that glorious, and I don¡¯t want it either, because the me in that dream would¡¯ve missed your best childhood and adolescent years. Perhaps I would have your future, but the feelings between us wouldn¡¯t be so deep. From when you were three to your current twenty two years ¡ª every day I¡¯ve spent with you has been the most precious gift I¡¯ve ever received.¡±


    Song Yu lowered his eyes before looking back at him, his arms tightening.


    ¡°I also have no way to imagine you not growing up by my side. So I keep thinking I¡¯m very cruel ¡ª if I had to choose again, I would still choose for you to arrive to me at three years old.¡±


    ¡°Not cruel at all.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s arms overlapped behind Song Yu¡¯s head, and he spoke tenderly. ¡°The other side of regret is a perfect ending.¡±


    They heard the sound of the door sliding open as they spoke, and they looked over, seeing Song Jin standing by the door. All three of them were stunned.


    ¡°Why are you just standing there?¡± Lin Rong had also come over, and when she saw them hugging each other underneath the cherry blossom tree, there was an unsurprised look on her face. ¡°Time to eat.¡± Turning around, she even smacked Song Jin, who was frozen where he stood. ¡°And you, what are you so surprised about. You have your draft speech?¡±


    ¡°Yes. Have a look.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to.¡± Lin Rong threw a look over, holding open the door. ¡°The two of you stop clinging onto each other, come and eat.¡±


    ¡°Understood.¡± Song Yu helplessly shook his head, and he also knocked Yue Zhishi¡¯s forehead with his own.


    Yue Zhishi let out a laugh ¡ª he stood up, shaking off the flowers on his body, and said, ¡°Let¡¯s eat.¡±

 CH 1

    Chapter 1 ¨C An Unlucky Year


    The air after a rain shower smelt like camphor leaves stained with mud.


    Yue Zhishi who was stepped on by an orange cat jumping onto his bed groggily opened his eyes and was immediately shocked that he had overslept.


    He clearly would only be late a few times a year but today unfortunately just happened to be the first day of school. Hearing Aunt Rong downstairs calling him, Yue Zhishi hurriedly responded, and the cat once again walked across his stomach before agilely jumping off. He quickly washed up and changed before grabbing his schoolbag and running out.


    ¡°The alarm clock didn¡¯t ring?¡± Lin Rong calmly rinsed out a milk bottle, ¡°Hurry and have breakfast. Yesterday¡¯s braised beef mince mixed with rice noodles, it¡¯s pretty good.¡±


    At this time, Yue Zhishi had already rushed to the entryway. There was no time to worry about breakfast.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t have morning study before the opening ceremony so I forgot to set the new time. Aunt Rong, where¡¯s Song Yu gege?¡±


    A little Pomeranian followed closely behind and obediently sat on the ground watching him change shoes.


    ¡°Your brother left already. Isn¡¯t it the opening ceremony today? It seems that he is on duty today. Do third year senior high school students still need to do that?¡± Lin Rong placed the bottle back and turned around while drying her hands, ¡°The opening ceremony for the junior high school department should be together with the high school department¡­¡­¡­..¡±


    When Yue Zhishi turned around and opened the door, the Pomeranian started to frantically scratch at his leg to prevent him from leaving.


    Lin Rong hurriedly called out after him, ¡°Le Le! You can¡¯t skip breakfast!¡±


    Yue Zhishi knelt down to rub the dog¡¯s head and then gave it a kiss before leaving in a hurry, ¡°I¡¯ll buy some rice cakes. Bye Aunt Rong~¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t just eat anything!¡±


    Leaving the house, Yue Zhishi rode his bicycle straight to the breakfast stall outside the community. The granny who usually sold rice cakes there wasn¡¯t around today. Yue Zhishi had heard her talk about her back pain before so she was probably taking a few days off. The noodle soup store next door however was very fragrant, and you could smell the scent of the stewed beef from far away.


    ¡°Le Le, is it still early? Come and have some noodles.¡± The owner of the beef noodle soup store lowered a ladle of rice noodles into the hot soup, the silken strands flirting in and out amidst the other soup ingredients.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to be late Uncle Chen. I¡¯ll have it tomorrow!¡± Yue Zhishi parked his bike and ran into the convenience store. With no time to choose, he quickly grabbed a bag of rice bread, paid for it and ran back out. This was one of the few snacks in the convenience store Yue Zhishi could eat.


    It had rained all night last night. The rain in this city had always not been very gentle and would always be accompanied by lightning and thunder, making him unable to sleep at night. He remembered that it was also raining heavily the first night he spent at Song Yu¡¯s place. As soon as the thunder crashed, he was scared to tears and had rushed straight into Song Yu¡¯s room, climbing into his bed.


    Please read this from kk translates


    Since then, he instinctively began to rely on this brother who had no blood relations to him.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s father, Yue Yi, and Song Yu¡¯s father, Song Jin, were close friends who had grown up together.


    The Yue old man had unfortunately passed away at a young age. Before moving to the UK, Yue Yi was practically a non-official member of the Song family, always eating together and living together. Yue Yi loved extreme sports. While rock climbing, he met a British girl called Olivia and the two fell in love and eventually gave birth to the lovely Yue Zhishi. Their happy times however didn¡¯t last long. Eleven years ago, the couple encountered an avalanche while skiing in the Alps and unfortunately both didn¡¯t make it.


    In just one night, Yue Zhishi had lost both his parents. Even Song Jin who flew to the UK to pick him up didn¡¯t know how to explain this to a three-year-old child.


    At that time, Yue Zhishi was holding onto Song Jin¡¯s sleeve and would only sweetly call him uncle. (KKnotes: Uncle in English) He didn¡¯t know what death meant or what foster care was. He was taken back to the Song family and since then settled in Jiang City.


    The red light at the intersection forced Yue Zhishi to come to a stop. He had woken up too suddenly this morning and was still a little lightheaded right now. He stared at the red light ahead as his thoughts jumped from one thing to another. There were only remnants left of dream he had last night. He seemed to have turned into small thing and would constantly follow Song Yu around everywhere. Because his Chinese wasn¡¯t very good, he could only stick close to him.


    Lin Rong would always tease Yue Zhishi with a jealous tone, saying that the first Chinese word he had learnt was actually gege. (KKnotes: gege = brother)


    But Song Yu didn¡¯t like to speak much and was lukewarm to anyone. Fortunately, even though he didn¡¯t talk to Yue Zhishi much, he didn¡¯t drive him away and just allowed him to pester him. Only when they got older and started elementary school did Yue Zhishi¡¯s mixed-race appearance become more eye catching.


    Song Yu was already eye catching enough and with another doll-like child following him around, they basically became the topic everyone gossiped about, especially regarding their family affairs. After a while, Song Yu lost patience. When they moved to a new place and left the community and their elementary school classmates, he set up three rules.


    ¨C Don¡¯t call me gege outside.


    ¨C Don¡¯t go to school or go home together with me.


    ¨C Don¡¯t let others know that you live with me.


    At first, Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t accept this. Song Yu leaving and moving on to junior high school was already a huge blow for him, not to mention the fact that he couldn¡¯t call him gege. He however had always been guided by Song Yu in life and was taught that rules come first. In any case, rather than being completely ignored, keeping a distance outside seemed more acceptable.


    In Yue Zhishi¡¯s mind, Song Yu was always like a goal or target for him to chase after. When Song Yu was six and he was three, he stumbled after his brother to watch the ants carry their food home. When Song Yu was ten and he was seven, he who could finally attend elementary school with his brother for the first time was so happy, he started singing but his mouth was soon covered up. When Song Yu was fifteen and he was twelve, the old man selling ice cream gave him a bench so that he could sit and wait for his brother to leave the examination centre. He still remembered that he ate three popsicles that day. Song Yu didn¡¯t realise this and even gave up taking the school bus for him to take a taxi to eat crayfish.


    The crayfish were very big that day. He ate twenty-three of them, fifteen of which were peeled by Song Yu because he peeled them too slowly. He remembered himself retorting, ¡°Although I don¡¯t know how to peel them, I am very good at hiding. None of your classmates saw me, did they?¡±


    Song Yu disagreed, ¡°But I found you with one glance so you¡¯re not very good at hiding.¡±


    Yue Zhishi always insisted that he was good at hiding, including his relationship with Song Yu to the outside world. Later he had to admit that Song Yu was right.


    ¡°The light is green, let¡¯s go.¡±


    A voice interrupted his thoughts. He glanced at the time and then started to accelerate. He arched his thin body and pedalled hard. It was the beginning of September and the wind was still warm. The wind caused his summer uniform to billow out and Yue Zhishi¡¯s slightly curly brown hair glowed golden in the sun, looking fluffy and soft.


    He rushed all the way to school. Just as he parked his bicycle and saw the large army at the gate, he felt like he had forgotten something.


    ¡°Le Le!¡± His shoulder was suddenly slapped. Yue Zhishi turned around, startled. It was his close friend and desk mate, Jiang Yufan.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s surname was special and many people would pronounce it as the Le in happiness rather than the Yue in music. After this mistake was made numerous times, it eventually resulted in a nickname ¡ª¨C Le Le. Not only family members, classmates and friends who are close also call him this. (KKnotes: The character ÀÖ in Yue Zhishi¡¯s name can be pronounced as Le or Yue)


    After succeeding in scaring his friend, Jiang Yufan¡¯s expression was smug. He rubbed his buzzcut head which had been forcefully shaved short by his mother, ¡°Why are you also getting to school last minute?¡±


    ¡°Slept in.¡± Yue Zhishi dragged Jiang Yufan through the school gates, ¡°There are so many people at the gates.¡±


    The old god Jiang Yufan nodded with understanding, ¡°When you don¡¯t have morning studies, it easier it is to be late.¡± In the distance was a student on duty wearing an armband. He checked the uniform and along the way glanced at Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°Hey, wait.¡± Jiang Yufan grabbed him, ¡°Yue, where¡¯s your name badge?¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s fast footsteps immediately stopped. He touched his chest. It was completely empty.


    ¡°Oh no. Aunt Rong removes it every time my clothes are washed. I was in a hurry today and forgot to put it on.¡±


    ¡°What to do then?¡± Jiang Yufan tiptoed and looked in the distance, ¡°Ah shit, Compass is also there.¡±


    Compass was the nickname for their junior high school director. Because he was tall and thin and very meticulous, everyone called him that.


    Yue Zhishi was even more anxious. Compass was known for enforcing school rules and would even report on girls who have modified their skirts or uniforms. Since today was also the school¡¯s opening ceremony, there was a high chance of him being punished.


    He pulled at the strap of his schoolbag and tried to hide it, ¡°Jiang Yufan, you cover for me.¡±


    ¡°Okay. Who knows, we might even be successful.¡±


    Jiang Yufan covered half his body and the two moved quickly to the school gate like conjoined twins in attempt to quickly bypass the group of students who were being checked.


    Compass¡¯s voice was very sharp, ¡°Pull out the uniform collar. There will be filming at the opening ceremony later to share on the school¡¯s official website. Your appearance is our school¡¯s image, understand?¡±


    Yue Zhishi clutched his bag strap tightly and walked ahead while sticking closely to Jiang Yufan.


    ¡°What¡¯s the matter with your pants?¡±


    ¡°Teacher, my school pants aren¡¯t dry yet, so I wore a pair that¡¯s similar¡­.¡±


    ¡°Are two school pants not enough for you?!¡±


    Please support the translator and read this from


    kktranslates(.)home(.)blog


    Yue Zhishi lowered his head even further. He had already prepared his words of apology if he was to be caught.


    ¡°Stop there.¡±


    He was so frightened he stopped in place, frozen like a terrified rabbit. His steps had stopped but he still didn¡¯t dare raise his head.


    Not me, it mustn¡¯t be me.


    ¡°I¡¯m talking to you.¡±


    Compass approached a little closer and the student on duty in charge of taking names down closely behind him, ¡°The girl with the short hair. Where¡¯s your name badge? Which class?¡±


    Yue Zhishi breathed a sigh of relief. He then heard Compass say, ¡°I have said countless times that you must wear your name badge when you go to school. Is it that difficult? Who else doesn¡¯t have it?¡±


    Me.


    Yue Zhishi was completely stiff. He felt like a hand would suddenly appear and pull him out of the crowd, bringing him before Compass.


    At the moment when he was most nervous, his arm really was grabbed. His heart stopped and Yue Zhishi subconsciously apologised, ¡°Sorry¡­..¡±


    But the next second, that hand moved down his arm, grabbing his hand. Soon afterwards, his fingers were pried open and a metal name badge which still carried some warmth was stuffed in.


    It may sound strange but Yue Zhishi knew who it was just from the hand. He looked up and, as expected, he was met with a familiar, calm face.


    The other party was wearing a high school uniform with a red arm band. Under the direct sunlight, his brows were slightly furrowed.


    It wasn¡¯t anyone else but the ¡®brother¡¯ he shared the same roof with.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes widened slightly, his light-coloured eyes resembling transparent amber beads in the sun. Seeing Song Yu, he felt as if there was a layer of electricity all over his body. He subconsciously wanted to say something but the next moment, he quickly swallowed the word ¡®gege¡¯ back down.


    Their gazes met briefly before Song Yu let go and looked away with his usual calmness and indifference. It was as if the relationship between them really was just that of a senior on duty and an offending student. Song Yu glanced at his watch and took out a pen from his pocket, getting ready to note students down for being late.


    Everyone¡¯s attention was still on Compass and the girl being scolded, and no one noticed this secret exchange. Yue Zhishi looked down at the name badge in his hand which was engraved with the words [Peiya Junior High Schoo, Yue Zhishi]. Before Compass could catch him, he quickly pinned it to his shirt.


    As soon as he lowered his hand, he saw a pair of shrewd eyes scanning him. Yue Zhishi raised his head and smiled back at Compass. He was born with a pair of innocent and pure puppy eyes. Although appearances cannot give you a free pass in life, that beautiful face of his made it hard for others to be harsh to him.


    ¡°You¡¯re almost late.¡± Even so, Compass still gave a warning, ¡°Go on in.¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± Yue Zhishi nodded obediently, ¡°Thank you director.¡±


    The school clock tower just happened to sound at this moment. He couldn¡¯t help but turn his head to look back. Song Yu was like the characters you would find in comics and he practically glowed even while standing amidst the crowd.


    There wasn¡¯t much time left. The whole class must gather in the classroom first before going to the opening ceremony. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want to be late, so he ran desperately to class. Jiang Yufan however was concerned about something else, ¡°Hey Yue Zhishi stop right there! I saw it just now!¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re going to be late!¡± Yue Zhishi was of breath and his heart was beating extremely fast.


    Jiang Yufan was also out of breath from chasing after him, ¡°Don¡¯t¡­.Don¡¯t change the subject. Tell me honestly. Why does Song Yu have your name badge?¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Song Yu: Because I am his brother (not blood related!)

 CH 2

    Chapter 2 ¨C New Turning Point


    ¡°Maybe¡­¡­he picked it up.¡±


    ¡°Picked it up?¡±


    Something so small could be picked up?


    ¡°As if I¡¯d believe that!¡± Jiang Yufan frowned. He followed Yue Zhishi to the second floor of the junior high school building and continued asking, ¡°Even if he picked it up, how would he know that you¡¯re Yue Zhishi?¡±


    Yue Zhishi asked back, ¡°Am I not recognisable enough?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s true¡­¡­¡± With that mixed face, Yue Zhishi was a popular topic of discussion when he first came. Jiang Yufan however felt that it was strange, ¡°I was scared to death just now. When I saw Song Yu wearing that arm band, I thought you were finished.¡±


    Yue Zhishi leaned against the handrail to catch his breath, ¡°So extreme?¡±


    ¡°Why not? Breaking the rules on the first day back to school and even running into the cold and aloof Song Yu who is on duty. When he grabbed you, I thought he was going to reprimand you on the spot.¡±


    Almost reaching their classroom, Yue Zhishi turned and shushed him before quickly walking in.


    It was very good timing. At this moment, the class leader was calling attendance. Yue Zhishi tried his best to hide his heavy breathing and stood at the door with his hair slightly curled up from the running, ¡°Teacher¡­¡­¡­¡±


    The head teacher Wang Qian was a young male teacher in charge of teaching Chinese. He got along with the students well but also wouldn¡¯t hesitate to be strict when necessary. Fortunately, Yue Zhishi had always had a good student reputation and his grades were also good so Teacher Wang didn¡¯t make it difficult for him, ¡°Come in.¡±


    But Jiang Yufan was not so lucky.


    Wang Qian had a playful smile on his face, ¡°Why, isn¡¯t this our class¡¯s regularly late guest?¡±


    ¡°Teacher Wang,¡± Jiang Yufan rubbed his head, ¡°I was only later than Yue Zhishi by two steps.¡±


    ¡°Yes, and I think this standard is pretty good.¡± Wang Qian raised his hand, ¡°From today onwards, you are only allowed to be two steps later than your desk mate or you will stand for the entire morning study session.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡± Jiang Yufan¡¯s scrunched up his face as the rest of the students in class 8 laughed.


    ¡°What are you huh¡¯ing for? Get in.¡± When Wang Qian was done saying this, he began knock some senses into the other students, ¡°Small matters are fine, but you better be good during the opening ceremony. If you¡¯re caught by the director, I won¡¯t be able to save you. After being publicly sentenced, you will make a name for yourself before you even enter senior high. I guess that can be a way to make sure you didn¡¯t attend junior high school for nothing.¡±


    Everyone secretly laughed. Only Yue Zhishi who still hadn¡¯t recovered running earlier was in a state of confusion as he tried to stuff his bag under his table. No matter how he tried, it just didn¡¯t go in. He eventually reached in and pulled out a delicate royal blue gift box.


    Strange. He took a closer look.


    ¡°Who gave it to you this time? How great, already getting a gift on the first day back to school.¡± Jiang Yufen whispered from his table, ¡°It¡¯s nice being handsome.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not it.¡± Yue Zhishi raised his head and glanced at Wang Qian before opening the gift box. Inside was a exquisite white pen and a bottle of ink and there was also a card. He didn¡¯t touch the pen and just opened the card to read the contents before putting it back under his table.


    The gossipy Jiang Yufan shuffled over, ¡°Which class? That pen doesn¡¯t look cheap.¡±


    Yue Zhishi pursed his lips and seemed to be in thought.


    ¡°We don¡¯t disband and go home right after the opening ceremony, right?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, we probably have to go back to the classroom. Why?¡±


    ¡°I want to go to class 11 and return this.¡±


    Everyone in class had stood up and was ready to go to the school auditorium. Jiang Yufan didn¡¯t understand the Yue Zhishi¡¯s honest act of returning a gift, ¡°Are you serious Le Le? You¡¯ll hurt the girl¡¯s feelings.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was a little hungry. He opened his bag, pulled out a rice bread from inside, tore it open and ate half in one bite. He spoke a little muffled, ¡°If I don¡¯t return it, she might think I agreed but I haven¡¯t so it¡¯s wrong to do that. And right now, I¡¯m only in third year of middle school. I shouldn¡¯t be dating.¡±


    Please read this from kk translates


    Jiang Yufan was incredulous, ¡°My heavens, where did this obedient baby come from? That guy in the class next door has already changed girlfriends three times last semester. Forget it, you wouldn¡¯t be able to understand what it feels like to be heartbroken.¡±


    Heartbroken.


    It was true that Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t understand it but he weighed up the seriousness of being heartbroken or being deceived and firmly made up his mind.


    ¡°I will tell her properly.¡± Yue Zhishi quickly swallowed the bread in his mouth and stood up with the other students. From his bag fell out a medicine box which looked brand new. He bent over to pick it up and tried to put it in his pocket, but the pockets of the school pants were too small to fit. He then tried to tear open the packaging, but the quality of the plastic packaging was just too good.


    ¡°Come on, let¡¯s go.¡± Jiang Yufan tugged him.


    ¡°Oh, okay.¡±


    The entire school swarmed into the auditorium. As soon as he entered, Yue Zhishi saw that there was no bin around, so he quickly finished the last bite and placed the folded packaging in his pocket.


    Peiya was one of the most well-known high school in this local area. Compared to score focused education like the neighbouring schools, this school took a foreign education route and many students move on to study abroad for their further education. There was even a saying that goes ¡®Only half of Peiya¡¯s students take the college entrance examination¡¯. Coupled with the fact that the school was rich and could afford the land it occupied, the junior and senior high school departments had never been separated.


    With such a huge student volume, the annual opening ceremony naturally became the school¡¯s major event. No matter how free or uncontrolled you may be, today was a day where nothing should go wrong.


    The senior high school students entered first and sat in the auditorium according to their class. Compass stood at the front arranging everyone: ¡°Junior high school class 3-6 to 3-11 sit in the centre.


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°Why is it the blue class again?


    ¡°Have to sit on the ground again.¡±


    The summer school uniform for the junior high school students are of a light blue short-sleeved shirt while it is white for the senior high school students. Because the winter knitted vest is also these two colours for the two departments, over time, everyone started using the colour of the uniform to represent the junior and senior high school students.


    Everyone started to look for a place to sit. After not seeing each other over summer, the first thing the girls did was to get together and gossip. After all, this was a topic everyone loved to talk about.


    ¡°Did you see the confession wall last night?¡±


    ¡°No, who is it this time?¡±


    ¡°A junior high school second year confessed to Senior Song Yu. Wrote heaps. Seems to have been secretly crushing on him for a whole year.¡±


    ¡°Wow the school idol¡­¡­really courageous.¡±


    ¡°Did our school vote on the school idol? I don¡¯t remember casting a vote.¡±


    ¡°No but Song Yu has been accepted by almost everyone. They even dared to go after him. I have never seen him be close to any girl. Let alone those in junior high school, there aren¡¯t any in the senior high school department.¡±


    Hearing Song Yu¡¯s name, Yue Zhishi was a little pleased, but he also felt a little uncomfortable inside. His face felt a little itchy. He tugged at his hair a little and looked around, his eyes slowly following the crowd. The class leader had organised everyone¡¯s seats and Yue Zhishi was sitting at the very back of the group of boys. The focus of the gossip of the girls in front changed from the hot topic of a junior high school second year girl confessing to a third year senior high school senior had changed to the topic of how many school idols there were in Peiya.


    ¡°Later, there was an argument under that confession wall. Someone said that Song Yu has a poker face and likes to ignore people so he¡¯s not as good as Yue Zhishi from the junior high school department. I almost laughed to death. To think that I would eat melon seeds in my own class.¡±


    ¡°What do they mean not as good? Le Le is pretty good looking. Isn¡¯t a mixed-race face nice? And he has good personality.¡±


    ¡°Some said that he¡¯s too young, but they argued and argued and they basically concluded that there can be a school idol in each of the senior high school and junior high school department. After that, everything was settled.¡±


    ¡°Hahaha, that¡¯s true. I would really like to see the two of them stand together to compare.¡±


    ¡°Just putting them together in the same frame is difficult enough. They have no connections at all.¡±


    Jiang Yufan perked his ears, listening to this conversation for a while. He then started teasing, ¡°Little Le Le is not bad. You¡¯re even compared with Song Yu.¡±


    Yue Zhishi had his neck craned, searching for Song Yu¡¯s figure in the auditorium and was not paying attention to the girl¡¯s conversation. Being told something like this by Jiang Yufan all of a sudden, he was confused, ¡°Huh?¡±


    At this moment, one of the girls at the front turned around and grinned, ¡°Le Le, what do you think about Senior Song Yu¡¯s appearance? Aside from his character.¡±


    After entering junior high, this was the first time he was asked about Song Yu at school.


    Yue Zhishi felt a little guilty. It was the same feeling as when he hid outside the examination centre, waiting for Song Yu to come out. He started unconsciously blinking faster as he tried to think of a stranger-like response.


    ¡°Senior Song Yu is very handsome, and his grades are good.¡±


    But in the end, he couldn¡¯t hold back the desire to speak up for him, ¡°And I think there is no problem with his character.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s tone was very serious, ¡°He just doesn¡¯t like to talk, it doesn¡¯t mean that he has a bad personality. Although he looks a little scary, he¡¯s actually very nice¡­.¡±


    The girl listening felt that it didn¡¯t sound right. She interrupted and asked with some confusion, ¡°Wait a minute, how do you know that he¡¯s nice?¡±


    Sure enough, he wasn¡¯t good at hiding.


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t speak for a moment. At this moment, Jiang Yufan stepped in, ¡°I have to say, Song Yu really is a better person than I thought. Today he was on duty and he picked up Le Le¡¯s name badge and gave it back to him. He even helped him hide it from Compass.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°A heroic act.¡±


    ¡°As expected of a handsome guy!¡±


    The ceremony began. The class leader reminded them to be quiet and the gossiping quickly came to a stop. Yue Zhishi breathed a sigh of relief. That was too close. Considering their ability to gossip, if they really found out about their relationship, they will definitely not stop talking about it.


    The speeches at the beginning of each year are almost the same. The leader stood there talking while the students listening down below were about to lose their minds. After a while, it changed to the junior high school department representative who was also a female student from their class. Yu Zhishi straightened up and listened attentively to show his support but the lights in the auditorium were too bright, causing his head to slowly bend back down like a wilting sunflower.


    He didn¡¯t know if it was because he ate the bread too quickly, his stomach felt a little uncomfortable. It was as if there was a clump of cotton stuck in there, unable to go up or go down.


    Rubbing his stomach, Yue Zhishi stared at a small black spot on the tip of his canvas shoe. Focusing at this spot for a while, that small spot gradually spread and grew, like a low-pressure cloud. Applause came from all directions, signalling the end of the speech. This sound poured into his ears like boiling water, burning into his chest cavity, the steam inflating his lungs.


    There was a small commotion among the students. His throat was dry and itchy, like it was being tickled by a feather. Yue Zhishi lowered his head to clear his throat as the new student representative stepped onto the stage.


    Please read this from kk translates


    After approaching the microphone, there was a sharp screech from the speaker, as if it was calling for everyone¡¯s attention.


    The next second, a low voice came from the uncooperative microphone.


    ¡°Sorry.¡±


    Yue Zhishi immediately raised his head to look at the person on the stage, his chest rising and falling rather quickly.


    ¡°Good morning everyone, I am Song Yu from class 3-5.¡±


    His heart started racing. It was a pathological kind of racing.


    Just as those girls had mentioned earlier, Song Yu¡¯s good looks were recognised and acknowledged by everyone. His long and narrow figure as well as his sharp eyes however gave him a strong sense of oppression and detachment.


    It was difficult finding traces of emotion on his face.


    On the contrary, Yue Zhishi¡¯s features were soft and youthful, making him appear unthreatening. His almost transparent amber eyes also made him look innocent and sincere.


    ¡°Today is the first day of school¡­¡­..¡±


    Song Yu lowered his eyes, his gaze falling onto the small folder resting on his forearm. His tone was calm as he spoke, and he would occasionally look up at the audience with a quiet gaze.


    Yue Zhishi had always liked listening to Song Yu read, no matter what the content was, but right now something wasn¡¯t quite right. He clearly wanted to carefully listen to every word, but he couldn¡¯t seem to concentrate. His dry and itchy throat also appeared to have worsened.


    His lungs felt like it was compressed and narrow, the airflow unable to go in or go out.


    Oh no.


    This reaction was all too familiar. Yue Zhishi pulled out the packaging from his pocket to check. His breathing gradually got more and more difficult.


    Sure enough, he had made a mistake. Ordinary bread of this brand and their rice bread only had a difference of a small symbol on the bottom right corner, everything else was exactly the same.


    Yue Zhishi suffered from severe wheat allergy. In addition to the common rash and itchy throat, he also would experience the most uncomfortable reaction ¨C allergy related asthma. This symptom only appears when he has made a lot of contact with the allergen.


    The auditorium was too quiet. The only thing that could be heard was Song Yu¡¯s voice and the gradually worsening wheezing from his chest.


    His first reaction was regret. Regret that he had left his medicine in his desk. Who would have thought that he would have an allergic reaction the one time he left it behind?


    But this thought didn¡¯t last long and his instinct to call for help took over. The asthma taking away his strength, Yue Zhishi struggled with difficulty to lean forward and grab Jiang Yufan by the arm.


    The people around him also found it strange.


    ¡°A new semester also means a new beginning.¡±


    Standing on the stage, Song Yu had his eyes lowered as he read his manuscript.


    The students in the audience suddenly started to turn rowdy and it was concentrated at the end of a certain class. Several even stood up and formed a circle. The other students in the other classes also noticed it and craned their necks to see.


    ¡°This can be regarded as a critical point in life. The turning point is just ahead¡­.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t care much about what happened. His personality was just like that. He only occasionally raised his eyes and just happened to see a person lying on the ground through the chaotic crowd.


    ¡°Le Le! Are you okay?!¡±


    The director who was unclear of the situation hurried over to maintain order, ¡°Hey which class are you? What are you doing?¡±


    Jiang Yufan was kneeling on the ground, his voice anxious, ¡°Teacher! Someone¡¯s not feeling well!¡±


    The speech stopped abruptly, and it was followed by a clatter. It was the sound of the folder falling. The sound was amplified by the loudspeaker and seemed to sound particularly rushed and sudden.


    The director looked over. There was no one on the stage, ¡°It¡¯s all messed up!¡±


    The student responsible for filming stood there stupidly with his camera. For a while, he didn¡¯t know whether he should chase after the student representative or continue aiming it at the empty space on the stage.


    There was an incident during the ceremony and stopping the speech could be considered a normal response, but the representative had walked off without a word.


    And that person was also Song Yu.


    It was too abnormal.

 CH 3

    Chapter 3 ¨C Confession Scene


    The auditorium was filled with voices.


    Yue Zhishi laid on his side, the symptoms becoming more and more intense. He clearly wanted to take a big breath but the airflow entering his body grew smaller and smaller. It felt like there was a hole in his chest and air constantly leaked out. Before he could take a proper breath, he started coughing violently.


    Sensing that his student was in very bad conditions, Wang Qian was also very anxious, ¡°Yue Zhishi, what¡¯s going on? Are you okay? Can you talk?¡± He lifted Yue Zhishi and gently patted his back, ¡°Try taking a deep breath. Take it slow.¡±


    Just when everyone didn¡¯t know what to do, a white figure broke through the crowd of blue.


    ¡°Spread out, don¡¯t surround him.¡±


    The classmates around Yue Zhishi were shocked. No one had thought that Song Yu who was still speaking on stage just now would suddenly appear here.


    The head teacher Wang Qian was also a little surprised when he saw Song Yu. This was a student he had taught. Back then, he felt that this child was rather cold and didn¡¯t have many good friends so he didn¡¯t seem like the righteous type.


    Song Yu half squatted down, supported Yue Zhishi who could no longer speak and help adjust his position before taking out medicine from his pocket.


    Seeing the medicine he carried with him, Wang Qian was a little confused. He asked carefully, ¡°Song Yu, can he take your medicine? I have already called the emergency staff at the school hospital. They will be here soon.¡±


    ¡°No time. This is his medicine.¡± Song Yu was so calm, he didn¡¯t seem like a student but more like a professional emergency worker. He raised his head and instructed the people around him, ¡°Everyone, spread out a little more.¡±


    He loosened the tie around Yue Zhishi¡¯s neck and unbuttoned the two buttons at the top of his shirt, exposing his neck. Supporting his shoulder and stabilising his head, one hand accurately held the inhaler at Yue Zhishi¡¯s mouth. His actions were smooth and fluid, ¡°Yue Zhishi, take your medicine.¡±


    At this moment, Yue Zhishi¡¯s entire forehead was covered with cold sweat and his lips were slightly purple. He instinctively grabbed Song Yu¡¯s arm and exhausted all his strength to inhale the inhaler.


    He hadn¡¯t had asthma in a long time. That feeling of being unable to control his tears and breathing was extremely uncomfortable. Everything was blank but he could hear Song Yu¡¯s voice which gave him comfort.


    ¡°Again.¡±


    Over the past two years of being classmates, it was their first time encountering this kind of emergency. All of Yue Zhishi¡¯s classmates standing around them were stunned. Those who were familiar with him knew that he was allergic, but he usually only had a rash.


    The mist from the inhaler entered his lungs and, a few minutes later, Yue Zhishi¡¯s heaving chest started to gradually calm down and his breathing was no longer as quick or as short as it was a few minutes earlier.


    ¡°Feeling better?¡± Wang Qian was still worried, ¡°We should still get him to rest in the infirmary.¡±


    ¡°Needs a follow up check.¡± Song Yu took away the inhaler and moved his gaze away from his pale face, inadvertently glancing at the bread packaging left on the ground.


    Please support the translator and read this from


    kktranslates(.)home(.)blog


    He reached out and placed his palm against Yue Zhishi¡¯s chest to check his heart rate before moving to check the condition of the rashes on his arm and neck.


    Although the symptoms were relieved, his consciousness was still a little faint. Every time he has an asthma attack, he would become very dependent, like a chick struggling to live.


    He couldn¡¯t think at all while he was receiving first aid and only knew that Song Yu must be the one saving him. The first thing he wanted to do after recovering was to confirm this, so he weakly opened his eyes and was relieved to when he saw Song Yu¡¯s face.


    ¡°Ge¡­¡­.¡± His voice was faint and his fingers weakly grabbed Song Yu¡¯s arm. The asthma was like a violent storm, and his remaining willpower made him completely forget about his agreement.


    The sharp eared Jiang Yufan brainlessly repeated it, ¡°Ge¡­¡­.GE?!¡±


    Just that one word echoed through the auditorium.


    Song Yu is Yue Zhishi¡¯s ¡®brother¡¯.


    On the day of the opening ceremony, this secret Yue Zhishi had kept from others for two years was finally exposed to the entire school.


    ¡¤


    There would always be several outstanding people at school. If they¡¯re not being discussed about, they are surrounded by people.


    Yue Zhishi and Song Yu are both typical examples of this, but no one thought that these two usually unrelated people would actually have such a connection and it was actually such a close one.


    News spread fastest through dense crowds and it didn¡¯t take long for this incident during the opening ceremony to become a hot topic of discussion for everyone.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s childhood had never been very quiet.


    When he first joined the Song family, he was transferred to a kindergarten. There, he had no friends he was familiar with and he also couldn¡¯t communicate and, most importantly, he looked different from everyone else. As a result, he was often watched like a circus animal and even bullied by some of the older children with nicknames like ¡®yellow hair¡¯ and ¡®little bastard¡¯.


    He didn¡¯t like kindergarten very much and would always be unwilling to go, wanting to just hide at home and draw. He would cry as soon as he reached the kindergarten and carrying him out of the car was like they were sending him out to be killed.


    Although this experience was no less during elementary school, he at least had Song Yu there so he would often find Song Yu when he was unhappy. Sometimes when Song Yu¡¯s class is over and he looks back, he would see the pitiful Yue Zhishi peeping past the classroom door, looking like an unweaned puppy.


    After his peers gradually matured, fewer and fewer people alienated him, and everyone gradually got used to it. Later, the aesthetics of grown-up children changed, and more and more people began to think that Yue Zhishi was good-looking, good-looking to the point that the other boys their age was no match for him. Since his personality was also good, the bullied Yue Zhishi somehow became a sought-after target of affection.


    He didn¡¯t like being the centre of attention and he also didn¡¯t want to be publicly executed at the opening ceremony but in the end, Yue Zhishi became the focus of the entire school in a very dramatic fashion.


    Lying in the infirmary bed, he looked up at the ceiling in daze. The doctor on duty checked him and he obediently cooperated, like a soulless toy. After the check, he laid down and continued to rest.


    Please read this from kk translates


    The steading breathing made him feel at ease.


    Ever since he was a child, Yue Zhishi had rich imagination. A small stain on the ceiling could look like a hermit crab on a white sandy beach to him and its small shell would lead him to associate it with caves or even a black hole.


    As he explored the universe through the ceiling, the door to the infirmary suddenly opened. Yue Zhishi turned over and peeked out through a small gap in the curtain only to see Jiang Yufan¡¯s face. He fell back onto the bed, disappointed.


    ¡°Le Le?¡± Jiang Yufan¡¯s voice was very quiet, as if he was afraid of waking him up.


    ¡°I¡¯m not asleep.¡± Yue Zhishi sat up and pulled open the curtain, ¡°It¡¯s over? So fast.¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± Jiang Yufan brought his schoolbag over for him and handed him a carton of milk, ¡°You shouldn¡¯t be allergic to this. I often see you drink it.¡± Seeing him shake his head, Jiang Yufan was relieved, ¡°The teacher said there¡¯s no need to go back. You can go home directly after you rest.¡±


    Yue Zhishu drank some of the milk, ¡°Teacher Wang didn¡¯t call my parents?¡±


    This incident was an accident. It was because he was not careful enough and he didn¡¯t want Aunt Rong to worry.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Anyway, he called Song Yu over and they talked for a while. It¡¯s probably to understand the situation.¡± Reaching this point, Jiang Yufan started to vent, ¡°I knew it couldn¡¯t have been a coincidence for him just happen to pick up your name badge and just happen to recognise you. Halfway through his speech, he ran off the stage to give you first aid and he also just happened to have your medicine on him. If you didn¡¯t call out brother at the end, I would¡¯ve thought you two had a secret relationship.¡±


    Hearing that last line, Yue Zhishi was startled, ¡°No, no, no. How could that be possible.¡± After saying that, he explained, ¡°We¡¯re not real brothers.¡±


    In fact, he also regretted it very much. When he sobered up and regained strength, he recalled the scene of himself calling Song Yu brother in front of everyone. Yue Zhishi wanted to beat his chest for making such a mistake.


    ¡°Not real? Cousins?¡± Jiang Yufen suddenly came to an understand, ¡°So that¡¯s why. The two of you don¡¯t look alike at all and you also don¡¯t share the same surname.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not it. Just listen to my explanation.¡± Yue Zhishi zipped up his bag and briefly explained about his foster care situation.


    Although he explained it very lightly, no matter how dense Jiang Yufan may be, he was still a little surprised, ¡°Is that so¡­¡­¡±


    The term foster care was too heavy of a word for these teenaged children, as if it was undermined by misfortune and misery.


    Jiang Yufan internally though: No wonder Yue Zhishi pretended not to know Song Yu at school.


    He scratched his head, ¡°Th-then¡­¡­then how is his family treating you?¡±


    Yue Zhishi smiled, ¡°They¡¯re good. No different from their own son.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s good, that¡¯s good. But¡­¡± Jiang Yufan asked again, ¡°But why didn¡¯t they directly¡­.what I¡¯m trying to say is¡­ adopt¡­.¡± He said that last word very quietly.


    Yue Zhishi however didn¡¯t mind it, ¡°Oh, I¡¯ve also asked about that before. Uncle said that my parents are great people and no one in the world can replace them so he hopes that I can remember them this way. They also said that even without going through that procedure, they will take good care of me.¡± He added, ¡°Uncle Song is my father¡¯s best, best friend. They grew up together like real brothers.¡±


    ¡°So that¡¯s it¡­¡­¡± Jiang Yufan looked relieved. He patted him on the shoulder and said seriously, ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I won¡¯t tell anyone. My mouth is sealed.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± Yue Zhishi lowered his head and suddenly noticed that his buttons were unbuttoned, and his tie had been pulled apart. He was half unconscious when it happened so he couldn¡¯t remember, ¡°What happened¡­..¡±


    ¡°Your brother¡­..I mean, Song Yu undid it when he gave you first aid.¡± Jiang Yufan then said, ¡°You probably didn¡¯t see how he looked like rushing down from the stage. Really handsome.¡±


    Yue Zhishi indeed didn¡¯t see it. It was a pity. He could however imagine what it may have looked like. Lowering his head, he looked at the black spot on the tip of his shoe and recalled the haze he saw before the onset of the asthma attack. It felt as if he was completely trapped inside a dark cloud.


    The way Song Yu rushed over was probably like a bright beam of light, penetrating through the haze and finding him.


    Imagining this scene in his mind, a sense of joy rose in Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart and even the milk tasted sweet. When he picked up his bag, he noticed that it was bulging. He opened it and took a look. Inside was the gift he had received in the morning, ¡°You even put this in?¡±


    ¡°I thought you might want to go to class 11 before leaving.¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± He finished off the rest of the milk and threw the carton into the trash can. After fixing his tie, he patted Jiang Yufan¡¯s leg, ¡°Let¡¯s go. Go home for dinner.¡±


    Jiang City¡¯s early September was still rather hot. The Chinese flame tree that hadn¡¯t been pruned for many years stretched its dense branches into the windows on the third floor. These passionate green leaves were blocked by the glass windows, making it appear a little pitiful.


    It was just like when the younger Yue Zhishi would press his face against the study rooms glass door to look at Song Yu inside, his fleshy face squashed and deformed.


    Since becoming Yue Zhishi¡¯s classmate at the beginning of their first year of junior high school, Jiang Yufan knew about his allergy, but he didn¡¯t expect it to be so serious. He asked curiously, ¡°How did you know about your allergy? If it was this bad, it must¡¯ve been very serious the first time you found out.¡±


    The first time¡­¡­


    In fact, he still had some impression, but it wasn¡¯t much. He had also gone to the hospital too many times as a child and that had diluted his memories of his first time.


    ¡°I don¡¯t remember. I was three at the time and I seemed to need hospitalisation.¡±


    ¡°Three!¡± Jiang Yufan didn¡¯t dare imagine it, ¡°It was scary enough today. Fortunately, your brother was around. I looked it up earlier and was scared to death. Turns out if you don¡¯t treat asthma in time, you can die.¡±


    Yue Zhishi comforted him, ¡°What happened today was only bad luck. The probability of it happening is very small.¡±


    But he remembered now. When it happened the first time, Song Yu seemed to have also been there.


    Saying goodbye to the doctor on duty, the two were about to go downstairs to leave only to run into a beautiful, short haired girl wearing a junior high school uniform like them. Her face was flushed red and her voice was very small, ¡°Yue Zhishi¡­..¡±


    Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t familiar with her. He looked at Jiang Yufan for help.


    Jiang Yufan remembered and reminded his best buddy with a whisper, ¡°This is the girl who gave you the gift. From class 11.¡±


    Yue Zhishi let out a small ¡®ah¡¯.


    ¡°A-are you alright now?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m okay, I¡¯m all better.¡± Yue Zhishi gave his thanks.


    The girl was relieved. She fiddled with the loose hair next to her ear, ¡°I went to your class this morning to look for you, but you hadn¡¯t arrived yet, so I left it in your desk¡­¡­¡±


    Yue Zhishi saw her ears turn red.


    ¡°I hope you like it.¡±


    The sun was very bright. The girl¡¯s voice was drowned by the cicada¡¯s cries.


    Holding the strap of his bag, he was silent for a while. Finally, he unzipped it and took out the gift, returning it to her with both hands.


    Jiang Yufan couldn¡¯t watch. This scene was too suffocating. When he turned his head to look down from the third floor, he saw a familiar figure; tall and wearing white.


    Isn¡¯t this Song Yu? Jiang Yufan narrowed his eyes to take a closer look.


    It really is!


    Song Yu pushed his bike over and stopped under a camphor tree. He looked down at his watch and looked up again, his eyes meeting Jiang Yufan¡¯s gaze.


    The aura was so strong, Jiang Yufan who was standing several metres away was rendered frozen by this cold glance. He immediately turned his head back, pretending that nothing had happened.

 CH 4

    Chapter 4 ¨C White Peach Oolong


    Seeing the gift box in front of her, the girl was stunned.


    ¡°Thank you.¡± Yue Zhishi said solemnly, ¡°But since I was young, my family has taught me not to casually accept gifts, especially from girls, so that I won¡¯t take their feelings for granted. I¡¯m sorry but I have to return this to you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes had very obvious Caucasian characteristics with softer contours and his hair was also a warm brown colour which shines golden under the sun, making him appear pure and soft. His external appearance gave people the impression that he was someone easy to get along with, easy to capture and easy to persuade, but this was actually not the case.


    The stubborn Yue Zhishi would often be too serious.


    The girl¡¯s expression was a little upset but she had also expected this. She hesitated a little over taking back her gift, ¡°But I¡­.¡±


    She opened her mouth but stopped.


    ¡°It looks expensive. You must¡¯ve spent a long time picking it out.¡± Yue Zhishi insisted and stretched his arms out more, making her accept it, ¡°Your writing is very nice. I think its more suitable for you to use.¡±


    Upon hearing this, the girl looked up. Using praise instead of rejection made it hard for her to even feel sad.


    But she was still somewhat unwilling, ¡°Do you have someone you like?¡±


    Please read this from kk translates


    Yue Zhishi was taken aback.


    Someone he likes.


    He likes a lot of people; for example Aunt Rong and Uncle Song, for example the owner of the rice noodle store who would give him two extra pieces of beef every time he ordered the vegetarian option and for example Mr. Zhang from drawing class who gifted him comic books and drawing tools¡­..There were too many. Countless examples appeared in Yue Zhishi¡¯s mind.


    But if he were to narrow it down to people he likes the most, the number of examples shrink significantly.


    But they still didn¡¯t seem to be the same as the like the girl in front of him was referring to.


    ¡°You don¡¯t?¡± The girl asked.


    Yue Zhishi put on his bag and paused for a moment, ¡°No, I don¡¯t want to date right now. It¡¯s almost time for exams. If my grade drops, my parents will be called over.¡±


    Seeing that the girl still looked upset, Yue Zhishi added, ¡°We can still be friends.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t lie.¡± Yue Zhishi readjusted the bag on his back, ¡°It¡¯s so hot. Isn¡¯t there a vending machine downstairs? I¡¯ll treat you guys to a drink.¡±


    ¡°I want Coke!¡± Jiang Yufan didn¡¯t hesitate. He glanced down and saw that Song Yu was still there, leaning against the tree with his arms crossed in front of him and earphones in his ear. At this moment, he was staring up at them.


    Jiang Yufan couldn¡¯t help but shudder. He quickly nudged Yue Zhishi with his elbow.


    ¡°Le, look downstairs.¡±


    Yue Zhishi turned his head and saw Song Yu¡¯s figure through the railing.


    It was as if he was suddenly injected with stimulants. Yue Zhishi immediately turned around and leaned half his body out past the railing while supporting himself with both hands, but when he called out ¡®ge¡¯, it was with a very small and almost airy voice.


    He was like an excited little puppy who wanted to pounce but is hesitant to do it.


    The girl looked at Yue Zhishi¡¯s excited face and felt that he was completely different from how he was when he rejected her confession just now.


    Song Yu who was leaning against the camphor tree lowered his arms and approached his bicycle that was parked under the tree. He kicked away the kickstand and seemed to be about to ride off.


    Yue Zhishi was anxious. He grabbed his bag and wanted to go down, but he then remembered his promise of buying them drinks so he said frantically, ¡°I¡¯ll go down and buy it for you now.¡±


    He hurried downstairs. Fortunately, Song Yu hadn¡¯t left yet. Yue Zhishi quickly ran to the vending machine and first selected three cans of Coke but hesitated for a moment when he was about to pay and changed it to two cans of Coke and a bottle of white peach soda. Jiang Yufan and them just happened to arrive downstairs at this moment. Yue Zhishi hurriedly placed two cans of Coke on the vending machine, gestured frantically to Jiang Yufan while pointing at the vending machine and then turned and ran towards Song Yu.


    Through the gaps between the leaves, the small spots of light cast on his panting red face was very pretty. After calming his breathing, Yue Zhishi smiled and called out Song Yu gege and then brushed back his hair.


    ¡°What are you running for?¡± Song Yu only glanced at him. He was still wearing his earphones.


    Because I was afraid that you would leave.


    He had an allergic reaction and even exposed their relationship in front of so many people, messing up Song Yu¡¯s speech in the process. After all that mess, he was afraid that Song Yu would ignore him.


    Yue Zhishi stuffed the cold soda in Song Yu¡¯s hand. When giving it to him, he noticed the watch on Song Yu¡¯s left wrist. It was a gift from him.


    When he was ten years old, the little model for Lin Rong¡¯s photographer friend fell ill and Yue Zhishi was brought over as emergency replacement. It was also because of this that he was given a reward. Ling Rong¡¯s philosophy was to let children be free so she encouraged Yue Zhishi to spend it however he wanted.


    When a child receives a red envelope, their first reaction would be to buy toys and snacks. Little Yue Zhishi went to the mall alone for several days before finally buying a beautiful watch.


    It was because Song Yu¡¯s birthday was in two days.


    That was his first time spending his own money to buy a gift. When he was a child, he felt that it was very expensive but, thinking about it now, that watch wasn¡¯t a from a famous brand and the style was also simple. It wasn¡¯t like the electronic watches popular amongst the students and was neither cool nor complicated.


    Since young, Song Yu would often receive ¡®gifts¡¯ from Yue Zhishi. Things like a manually glued ¡®rare¡¯ four leaf clover, Le Le coupons that he could use to order Yue Zhishi to do anything such as running errands if he collects ten, a hand drawn desk calendar¡­¡­


    But when he first received this gift, Song Yu¡¯s first reaction was to refuse it and even dragged Yue Zhishi to the mall where he bought the watch.


    At that time, Song Yu had just entered first year of junior high school, but when he stood at the counter handling the return procedures, he was like an adult. Only Yue Zhishi alone was crying. He even sat on the ground holding Song Yu¡¯s leg wailing like he was the one whose gift was being returned.


    It was a pity that this memory was too vague. As for why Song Yu was so adamant about refusing this gift and why he changed his mind later and accepted it, Yue Zhishi no longer remembered.


    He was a little curious about it but after some thought, he decided not to ask. He had just had an asthmatic attack and he should be grateful that he wasn¡¯t being scolded. Now wasn¡¯t a good time to ask about this.


    Song Yu unscrewed the lid, took a sip and then gave it back to him. Only then did Yue Zhishi return to his senses.


    ¡°Song Yu gege, did you wait long?¡±


    ¡°Just came.¡± Song Yu stepped on the pedal.


    Please read this from kk translates


    Yue Zhishi took the initiative to report to him the results from his check up, ¡°I¡¯m fine now. I also took some medicine earlier.¡±


    ¡°I can see that you¡¯re fine.¡± Song Yu said.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t sense anything wrong with that line and continued, ¡°Fortunately you were around, or I may not have made it.¡±


    He said the last few words very seriously, but it also wasn¡¯t an exaggeration. Although he brought his own food to eat in elementary school, a child of his age was still unaware of how serious allergies can be. At that time, there were several serious incidents and Song Yu who was in the same school saved him every time.


    He didn¡¯t know how many times this life of his had been saved by Song Yu. Sometimes Yue Zhishi would think of those clips he saw of small animals repaying kindness and wondered what kind of animal he would be in his next life.


    It would be nice if he was a little cotton candy-like Pomeranian with a small tag around his neck.


    Thinking of the tag, Yue Zhishi suddenly remembered what happened at the school gates this morning, ¡°You saved me twice today.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t scold him like he thought but he didn¡¯t say anything else and just got ready to leave. Yue Zhishi noticed this and immediately sat down on the back seat. When Song Yu turned his head to look at him, he raised his head, ¡°My bike is parked at the school gate. Getting a ride until we reach it.¡±


    He didn¡¯t agree or refuse. Yue Zhishi waved goodbye to Jiang Yufan and the girl who stood not far away, ¡°I¡¯ll head off first.¡±


    Jiang Yufan felt that there seemed to be some joy concealed in his voice.


    When he first found out that Song Yu and Yue Zhishi were brothers, he wondered why the two didn¡¯t reveal this relationship to others. Recalling the time when the two acted like they had no relationship with other, he even felt that Song Yu was too indifferent.


    But if he put himself in that situation, how would he explain his relationship with Yue Zhishi?


    No matter how he explained, he couldn¡¯t escape the topic of Yue Zhishi¡¯s parents.


    Gossip can hurt people without drawing blood. Sometimes, silence was the best form of protection.


    Riding out, the wind gently swept past their faces.


    This reminded Yue Zhishi of the time he sat on Song Yu¡¯s back seat when he was a child. The Song Yu at the time had just learned to ride a bicycle and the first person he took around was him. At first they were both very happy. Little Yue Zhishi held his brother¡¯s waist and raised his legs up high yelling: Faster, faster.


    Later, they fell. Yue Zhishi¡¯s knees were cut and bloody and since then Song Yu stopped letting him ride with him.


    Almost reaching the school gate, Yue Zhishi was worried that Song Yu would stop and make him ride his own bicycle, so he tried to think of an excuse.


    His chain fell? Not good, too fake.


    Not enough air? Probably won¡¯t work either.


    Or should he say that his asthma still hasn¡¯t fully recovered, and his chest feels tight so he can¡¯t ride his bike?


    Finally thinking of a good excuse, he looked up only to see that they are now far from the school gates. Song Yu hadn¡¯t stopped. He may have forgotten what he said earlier, Yue Zhishi thought.


    At the traffic lights, Song Yu stopped. Cars passed by before them one after another.


    A layer of water droplets condensed on the surface of the bottle, turning it into a bottle of soda with a guilty conscience.


    ¡°Song Yu gege, did Teacher Wang call Aunt Rong?¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t respond. Perhaps he didn¡¯t hear him.


    Although Song Yu usually doesn¡¯t talk to him all that much, Yue Zhishi could detect the subtle changes in his emotions. Right now, he seemed to be unhappy.


    Was it because his allergic reaction after eating the wrong thing caused him trouble?


    Then why did he come see him?


    Probably to make sure he was okay, or he wouldn¡¯t be able to explain to Aunt Rong later.


    ¡°Song Yu gege¡­..¡± While the lights were still red, Yue Zhishi gently took out one of Song Yu¡¯s earphones and spoke placatingly, ¡°Can you not tell Aunt Rong about what happened today? She will definitely lecture me about it.¡±


    The traffic lights flashed one after another, making it look even more guilty.


    ¡°About what?¡± Song Yu suddenly said.


    Yue Zhishi was a little confused, ¡°Huh?¡±


    The bicycle wheel started to move again. Driven by inertia, Yue Zhishi¡¯s body couldn¡¯t help but lean back, the earphone cable becoming a fragile link between the two. In panic, he instinctively held tightly onto Song Yu¡¯s waist and he could also hear his voice which sounded like it was conducted through his warm body.


    ¡°Are you referring to you eating the wrong food and not bringing your medicine with you, you almost falling into shock at the opening ceremony.¡±


    The September sun was still blinding.


    ¡°Or dating?¡±

 CH 5

    Chapter 5 ¨C Appreciation Period


    Dating?


    A cauldron fell from the sky, rendering Yue Zhishi dumbfounded, ¡°No¡­.¡± He frowned. He was still obediently holding one end of the earphone in his hand. He muttered to himself in a small voice, ¡°I¡¯m not dating.¡±


    And he even rightfully declined.


    He turned his head back to look at Song Yu in front of him and retorted more loudly, ¡°I¡¯m not dating!¡±


    Song Yu remained silent. Yue Zishi could only ponder over it on his own. When he recalled the matter outside the infirmary, he finally came to an understanding, ¡°Were you standing outside all that time? You¡¯re mistaken. I was returning a gift back to her.¡±


    Omitting the information about the other party¡¯s identity, Yue Zhishi reported the entire situation to Song Yu like a kindergarten child obediently reporting everything that had happened at school each day, speaking vividly for fear of missing details.


    One reported the entire way while the other silently listened. They turned into a winding alley from the spacious road and approached their destination under a row of sycamore trees.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t accept, and I bought her a drink because I was afraid that she was upset after rejecting her. Also, the drink I bought her was a coke. I also bought Jiang Yufan a coke, but I gave¡­.¡±


    Reaching this point, he suddenly stopped. Somehow, he felt more and more wronged the more he explained himself. He thought of the confession wall incident the girls in his class were discussing this morning.


    ¡°Weren¡¯t you also confessed to? And it was on the Peiya confession wall. I¡¯ll also tell on you.¡± They were clearly words of threat, but it didn¡¯t have that effect at all, and his voice even unconsciously grew smaller when he said it. After a pause, Yue Zhishi added heatedly, ¡°The girls in our class were talking about it this morning. The whole school probably already knows about it.¡±


    Please read this from kk translates


    The bicycle suddenly stopped. Yue Zhishi immediately found himself pressed against Song Yu¡¯s back, unable to continue voicing his complaints.


    ¡°The whole school knows more than just that confession.¡±


    Song Yu finally spoke. He then ordered Yue Zhishi off the bike.


    Of course, Yue Zhishi knew what he was talking about, ¡°I didn¡¯t do it deliberately. I was too uncomfortable at the time and accidentally said it¡­.¡± He followed behind him like a little chick, ¡°What can we do now? Everyone heard it. There¡¯s probably not a single person who doesn¡¯t know about it now.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t provide him with a plan. He locked the bike and went in.


    Seeing that his brother was still not happy after all that explaining, it seemed that the reason for his bad mood wasn¡¯t because of this.


    The bike was parked in front of an old blue-grey house. A tall magnolia tree was planted in front of the courtyard and the courtyard itself was well-kept. The house was of a European-style building and very simple decorated. There was a large stone about the height of a person standing at the door with the two words engraved, ¡°Yanghe Qizhe.¡±


    This was a Song Yu¡¯s mother¡¯s hobby ¡ª Running a private restaurant.


    Song Yu swept open the door curtain and Yue Zhishi followed him in. There were already guests who had come in with prior appointments. Grandpa Zhang, a retired university professor who had been a frequent visitor since the opening of the shop, laughed and joked when he saw them coming in, ¡°Xiao Rong, your big handsome boy and little handsome boy are back.¡±


    Lin Rong came out from the kitchen when she heard this. She placed down a small plate of honey coated peaches on the table and glanced at Yue Zhishi and Song Yu with a smile.


    Yue Zhishi was a very likeable person. Before Lin Rong could speak, he cutely called out to Grandpa Zhang. Song Yu nodded slightly as a greeting.


    ¡°Le Le is taller again but still a little less than your brother.¡±


    Lin Rong took off the schoolbag from Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulder, ¡°They¡¯re three years apart anyway and Le Le is still young and not in good health. It¡¯s already a good height.¡±


    Yue Zhishi emphasised a number that not many people care about, ¡°I¡¯m already one metre seventy-six.¡±


    Song Yu, the tallest in the store, didn¡¯t participate in the discussion of their heights and alone proceeded into the innermost private room. That was a lounge specially prepared by Lin Rong for the two brothers.


    Lin Rong took out a very delicately packaged meal and handed it to Professor Zhang with both hands, ¡°Eat it while it¡¯s hot when you get back.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡± Professor Zhang was very happy, ¡°My dear loves this the most and is craving it. I¡¯m bringing it back now.¡±


    ¡°Goodbye Grandpa Zhang.¡± Yue Zhishi took the initiative to walk him out.


    When the shop first opened, both Le Le and Song Yu were still in elementary school. Ling Rong who was only doing this as a hobby only opened the shop on Mondays and Fridays. There were no menus, and everything was done at her own discretion. Customers came one after another and word of mouth continued to spread. Later, Lin Rong changed those business hours and she now did this four days a week which was also convenient for the allergic Yue Zhishi to come and have lunch.


    Lunch was as usual very plentiful. The white porcelain plate was filled with gold and crispy fried lotus roots one of which was picked up immediately by Yue Zhishi when it was served. As soon as he bit into it, the outside was crispy while the inside was sweet. Compared to ordinary fried vegetables that are rolled in flour, the lotus root paste that had been kneaded and boiled had a similar consistency to meat and was very delicious.


    ¡°Lotus root balls are the best type of meatballs in the world.¡± Before Yue Zhishi was done eating them, he had already picked up a braised chicken feet and stuffed it into his mouth. The red sauce was thick, and the chicken feet was so tender, just a light suck pulled the flesh off.


    Many people have praised Yue Zhishi for his enthusiastic eating style and there were even some who had suggested that he do an eating broadcast because just watching him eat made them also have a good appetite.


    Lin Rong came in carrying rock sugar lotus root noodles, ¡°Was the opening ceremony fun?¡± She had her hand placed on Song Yu¡¯s shoulder, but her eyes were directed at Yue Zhishi, ¡°How was Song Yu¡¯s speech today? Did he forget his lines?¡±


    Yue Zhishi who was originally stuffing his mouth like a little hamster suddenly paused with his cheeks still bulging.


    ¡°Ah, did he really forget his lines?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Song Yu ignored Yue Zhishi¡¯s sneaky winks and stirred the noodle soup, ¡°It¡¯s just that something happened.¡±


    Yue Zhishi suddenly found that the chicken feet in his mouth no longer tasted fragrant.


    No way. Didn¡¯t he promise not to say it?


    ¡°What happened?¡± Lin Rong was curious.


    Song Yu lightly glanced at Yue Zhishi, ¡°It¡¯s him.¡±


    ¡°Le Le? What happened to Le Le?¡±


    Yue Zhishi panicked. His eyes flitted frantically between Song Yu and Ling Rong and he decided that it was best for him to come clean himself, ¡°I didn¡¯t¡­¡­.¡±


    ¡°He didn¡¯t wear a name badge and was caught.¡± Song Yu took a sip and when he looked up, he was met with a surprised Yue Zhishi, ¡°Was almost late.¡±


    It wasn¡¯t what he had expected.


    ¡°Name badge?¡± Lin Rong exclaimed in a small voice, ¡°Ah, it¡¯s me. I took them off together when I washed the clothes and accidentally placed them both in your gege¡¯s room. Sorry, sorry.¡±


    After saying this, she looked at Yue Zhishi apologetically and she then caught a glimpse of the name badge on his chest, ¡°Huh? Why do you have it on?¡±


    Yue Zhishi explained with a guilty conscience, ¡°Gege gave it to me.¡±


    A waiter called outside, and Lin Rong hurried out. Yue Zhishi let out a sigh of relief and looked at Song Yu who helped cover up for him.


    ¡°I was the one who made you mess up your speech, sorry. I won¡¯t eat the wrong thing again.¡±


    The lotus root noodles had been strained through ice water, making Song Yu feel a lot more refreshed after finishing half the bowl and the anger inside him also subsided somewhat but when he heard this apology that missed the point, his expression became cold again.


    Did he think that he was mad because of the speech?


    But Yue Zhishi¡¯s expression was pitiful so he suppressed his irritation and asked, ¡°Where is your medicine?¡±


    Facing the sudden question, Yue Zhishi was startled. He explained in a small voice, ¡°The previous one ran out and I brought a new bottle today. I couldn¡¯t open it in time before we had to leave for the ceremony, so I left it in the classroom.¡± After that, he added, ¡°I didn¡¯t expect that I would get sick¡­..¡±


    Song Yu asked directly, ¡°Then have you ever thought about what it would have been like if I wasn¡¯t there today?¡±


    This question stunned Yue Zhishi.


    If Song Yu wasn¡¯t there today, he would definitely be in a very dangerous situation. It was a very bad allergic reaction.


    He didn¡¯t speak. Song Yu coldly continued, ¡°I can¡¯t always be by your side.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± Yue Zhishi looked up at him with a frown.


    The dangerous consequences of having an allergic reaction didn¡¯t scare him as much as that line of Song Yu¡¯s. He couldn¡¯t imagine what it would be like without Song Yu by his side.


    ¡°I will take medicine every day in the future. I promise this won¡¯t happen again.¡± Yue Zhishi lowered his eyes, ¡°I really won¡¯t let it happen.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t say that to make Yue Zhishi apologise. Thinking of the events today, he couldn¡¯t restrain his emotions.


    But after a moment of silence, he didn¡¯t continue the topic, ¡°Eat.¡± He picked up another bowl of lotus root noodles and one by one transferred the goji berries in there into another bowl.


    Having grown up together for the past eleven years, Yue Zhishi could understand Song Yu¡¯s tone. It meant that the topic was over. Feeling relieved, he hummed happily and passed over a lot of hot and sour lotus root strips into Song Yu¡¯s bowl, ¡°Eat this.¡±


    That was Song Yu¡¯s favourite dish since he was a child. It didn¡¯t require any complicated seasoning process, but that crispy taste far surpasses the taste of any of the other vegetables. The lotus root strip was very thin, only about the thickness of a finger. It was cut diagonally into sections and then stir-fried together with dried peppers and boiled with vinegar. With all the pores filled with the soup, it was both crispy and flavoursome. This kind of vegetable could only be served in summer and would no longer be available after September as it was difficult to keep fresh during long distance transportation and hence is not available in many cities.


    ¡°It would be great if you could eat lotus roots all the time.¡±


    Hearing this, Song Yu pushed that bowl of lotus root noodles over to Yue Zhishi. His tone didn¡¯t carry much emotion, ¡°After seeing it every day, you won¡¯t find it delicious anymore.¡±


    It only felt more precious because you can only enjoy it for a short amount of time.


    After seeing it every day, there was less novelty and anticipation.


    ¡°No way.¡±


    He didn¡¯t expect Yue Zhishi to refute. There was slight surprise in his eyes.


    Please read this from kk translates


    Yue Zhishi spoke with a child¡¯s determination, ¡°I am happy to eat something I like every day. What¡¯s the point of eating something that I don¡¯t like in order to change things up? It¡¯s best to have something I like every day.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s actions stopped, ¡°You won¡¯t get sick of it?¡±


    Yue Zhishi hesitated for a moment and didn¡¯t answer immediately. Song Yu didn¡¯t wait for the answer and quietly continued to eat.


    ¡°If it is my favourite, I won¡¯t get sick of it.¡± He spoke each word with great emphasis, as if it was an answer he had come to after thinking it over for a long time.


    Song Yu¡¯s eyes trembled slightly. While he was caught off guard by Yue Zhishi, he was given a lotus root ball by Yue Zhishi. He furrowed his brows and looked at him strangely.


    ¡°I¡¯ll give you my favourite lotus root ball.¡± Yue Zhishi looked up at him the same way he did when he first came to this house.


    At that time, Yue Zhishi stuck to Song Yu every day. He didn¡¯t understand anything, and he also didn¡¯t know how to speak Chinese, but he would try to express it with his actions. Before Song Yu went to bed every night, he would find some strange little toys placed it next to his pillow and sometimes they would be under his pillow.


    Every time, Song Yu would take these little toys away but they would always show up next to his pillow the next day.


    Later, Song Yu who had just come out from the shower happened to catch the ¡°culprit¡±. He saw Yue Zhishi standing on his tiptoes and stretching out his fleshy arms to place a small train and astronaut toy next to his pillow.


    Yue Zhishi who couldn¡¯t explain himself clearly and could only babble using simple Chinese vocabulary intermingled with English. It took Song Yu a long time to understand that he had wanted to give him his favourite toy to accompany him while he slept.


    At that time, he refused, ¡°I don¡¯t want your toys. I¡¯m not a child.¡±


    Yue Zhishi cried at the time but when night came, he once again brought a toy over and said a bunch of strange English babble to Song Yu. He was basically saying that the toy was really good and that it was his favourite toy.


    In the end, Song Yu conceded. He just picked up the small train and gave the astronaut toy back, ¡°One is enough.¡±


    Song Yu laid in bed that night, playing with the little train absentmindedly when he accidentally pressed something and the lights on the train lit up and started to rumble nonstop. He didn¡¯t know how to stop it. In the end, it caused him to have a very long dream in which the little dumpling kept on crying and held onto him tightly as he did that. It was simply the worst nightmare.


    After so many years, nothing had changed.


    After eating, the two left the table and took out two tatami mats that were rolled up in the corner of the room and laid them out for them to nap on.


    ¡°Is third year difficult? I heard you used up all your pencil refills in just three days.¡± Yue Zhishi laid down on his pillow and looked over at Song Yu.


    Song Yu took out a copy of ¡°National Geographic¡± from the shelf and began to look through it, ¡°I only just started third year.¡±


    That was true and he was also very smart so it shouldn¡¯t be hard for him. Yue Zhishi gazed up at the ceiling. He didn¡¯t want to go to high school. There were already too many papers to finish now so he felt that he might die when he enters high school.


    Rather than asthma or allergies making him die, it was a bit shameful to die because of exam papers.


    Seeing that Yue Zhishi was still gazing up at the ceiling, Song Yu placed down the magazine and ordered him, ¡°Sleep.¡±


    Yue Zhishi let out an ¡®oh¡¯ and closed his eyes.


    Seeing that he had finally settled down, Song Yu threw a summer blanket over and also raised the air conditioner by two degrees before he similarly laid down.


    When Yue Zhishi had his eyes closed, he appeared very docile. Those large eyes of his seemed to be the container for all his vitality so once they were closed, he appeared weaker and paler. This made Song Yu uncontrollably think of his asthmatic episode his morning.


    Feelings are all archived, and it can be recalled in an instant.


    Rapid development would be the words many adults would use to describe children, especially if they hadn¡¯t seen them for a long time. Suddenly seeing them again, they are surprised by how much the child had grown. Yue Zhishi had clearly grown up by his side and they were together almost every day, but Song Yu still felt this way.


    Seeing Yue Zhishi lying there quietly like this, Song Yu couldn¡¯t help but recall the first time he was hospitalised because of allergies. At that time, he was also a quiet, little one.


    That was the first time the six-year-old Song Yu realised what danger meant.


    ¡°Song Yu gege.¡± Yue Zhishi suddenly opened his eyes and turned over, catching Song Yu off-guard with his face at a very close proximity.


    ¡°What was my first allergic reaction like? Do you remember?¡±

 CH 6

    Chapter 6: A Sudden Heavy Storm


    Of course he remembered.


    Yue Zhishi had arrived at Song Yu¡¯s side at the same time as a sudden rainstorm.


    He remembered very clearly. He had been the one who opened the door that night, and the unexpected summer rain had blown in, wetting his hair. His father had carried a child in his arms, coat wrapped tightly around the child. After he came in, he¡¯d knelt down and cuddled Song Yu.


    Song Yu had suspiciously pulled aside a bit of the coat. ¡°Who is this?¡±


    The coat¡¯s opening had revealed a pair of eyes. They¡¯d looked almost like glass marbles.


    ¡°This is your younger brother.¡±


    Six-year-old Song Yu gained a younger brother overnight. He was soft and beautiful, and he looked just like the angels in fairytale books. He had brown curly hair and could only speak English in a sweet, childish voice.


    Song Yu was the exact opposite of this child. Song Yu never had a lively personality from birth ¡ª he never fussed around, but he would also never talk much. Relatives always said he had a bad personality that needed to be changed, but Lin Rong stood up for him, saying his personality resembled her father. She allowed Song Yu to be himself from childhood.


    He was very smart, his mind maturing a lot faster than other children. But no matter how mature he was, he was at a loss when faced with a strange child who would take away a portion of his parents¡¯ love and care. Song Yu didn¡¯t like him at first ¡ª but he also didn¡¯t hate him.


    Most of the time, he just silently observed.


    So strange, his eyelashes are so curly.


    Why does this small thing find it so hard to speak? He looks a bit dumb.


    I couldn¡¯t have been this dumb when I was younger, right?


    But Yue Zhishi was born cute, and relatives always complimented him whenever they saw him. Those compliments shook Yue Zhishi¡¯s impression in little Song Yu¡¯s heart. He couldn¡¯t help but admit it ¡ª Yue Zhishi was cuter than the Pomeranian dog Song Yu wanted to buy.


    The third day he arrived, Yue Zhishi suddenly couldn¡¯t stop crying, sobbing that he wanted mommy and daddy, his own mommy and daddy. No one could stop his tears.


    ¡°Don¡¯t cry.¡± Song Yu walked closer, and Yue Zhishi stuck out his arms for a hug once he was close enough. But Song Yu couldn¡¯t lift him, so Yue Zhishi wrapped himself around him, sticking to him just like a glutinous rice cake.


    ¡°My head hurts from all your crying.¡± Song Yu felt hopeless and said to Lin Rong, ¡°Mom, let¡¯s send him back to find his mom and dad. Send him home.¡±


    Lin Rong looked at him, wanting to say something but was unable to speak. She ended up coaxing Yue Zhishi into her arms and brought him upstairs, leaving only Song Yu and his father in the living room.


    ¡°Xiao Yu.¡± Father Song pulled him over and very seriously said, ¡°That younger brother doesn¡¯t have a mom or dad anymore.¡±


    Song Yu frowned. He didn¡¯t say anything and silently pondered what that meant. Father Song very quickly gave him a clearer answer.


    ¡°His parents are gone. He doesn¡¯t have a home he can return to.¡±


    He understood what ¡°gone¡± meant.


    Song Yu¡¯s frown deepened. He looked upstairs before turned back to his father. ¡°Then will he leave in the future?¡±


    Father Song shook his head. ¡°This is his home now.¡±


    Adults would always unconsciously think children couldn¡¯t understand anything. But in reality, children¡¯s compassionate hearts were always larger than adults¡¯. They were the ones who would shelter a stray dog under their umbrellas on the way home.


    Song Yu was the same, even if he had never been much of an empathetic child.


    Once he returned back to his room, he hugged a pillow and sat on the small sofa. Father Song¡¯s words circled around inside his head.


    Yue Zhishi was such a cute child, and yet he didn¡¯t have his parents anymore.


    Those words stuck in his heart, and the more he thought about it, the more he thought Yue Zhishi was pitiful. No matter how beautiful a stray dog was, it would always be a stray. It would never have a place to go to when it rained and could only stay shivering in the alleyways, cold and hungry.


    The door suddenly squeaked open, interrupting Song Yu¡¯s train of thought about stray dogs. He looked over and saw Yue Zhishi¡¯s small figure standing by the door peering sadly into the room. Only half his face showed past the doorframe, and he even gave a random burp.


    Song Yu glanced at him and arrogantly asked, ¡°Why are you hiding?¡± His heart softened when the small figure didn¡¯t move, so he waved a hand, hinting for him to come in. Only then did Yue Zhishi slowly wobble his way towards him, every step stumbling from unsteady feet. It looked like he could fall over at any second, scaring Song Yu as he watched.


    Once Yue Zhishi finally managed to reach him, he simply gazed at him with his large eyes, face red from all his crying. He looked like a ripe peach almost ready to burst.


    His eyes were swollen. Song Yu remembered what Father Song said previously and so scooted over and allowed Yue Zhishi to huddle on the couch with him.


    It rained all through the last few days. It hadn¡¯t stopped raining since Yue Zhishi arrived.


    He was asking Yue Zhishi why he came to his room when lightning suddenly flashed outside his window. Loud thunder crashed before Yue Zhishi could answer and scared him into throwing his arms around Song Yu, his entire body trembling.


    Even though Song Yu was also startled by the thunder, Yue Zhishi was scared way more than he was. Not only did he tremble in fear, he once again started crying.


    Song Yu was most afraid of his crying. He wanted to get up and ask his mother to take Yue Zhishi back to his room, but Yue Zhishi refused to let go, stubbornly sticking to his body. Song Yu had no choice but to pretend to be like a real older brother and try to soothe him. But he didn¡¯t like to speak, so he only covered his ears and lightly patted his back.


    The thunder refused to stop. Every time Yue Zhishi calmed down a little bit, the thunder would once again sound and waste all of his previous efforts.


    Song Yu decided to look for something to distract the poor little thing.


    After thinking for a while, Song Yu took out a large box of chocolate-filled madeleine cookies. His dad had brought it back for him after a trip overseas, and Song Yu hadn¡¯t been willing to open it.


    How lucky of you.


    Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t so scared anymore with some sweets and Song Yu covering his ears. He ate very cutely, his two small pudgy hands holding a cookie as he took one bite after another. He jumped when thunder suddenly crashed again, and the cookie fell out of his hands. He picked it straight back up and continued to eat as tears rolled down his face.


    It was funny and pitiful at the same time.


    ¡°You¡¯re so small. How can you eat so much?¡± Song Yu looked at the empty box. There was only one cookie left, so he took it and bit into the sweet chocolate centre.


    Yue Zhishi reached out a hand towards him and softly said he still wanted more. Song Yu didn¡¯t have a choice but to hand over the cookie in his hand. ¡°No more after this.¡±


    Yue Zhishi quickly ate that last half, chocolate smearing all over his mouth. Song Yu found him dirty and grabbed a tissue to wipe his mouth.


    He thought he really did seem like an older brother.


    Song Yu had complex feelings about this older brother identity suddenly being pushed onto him. It was a bit of a burden, but at the same time, he felt both pleased and proud about it. It was better than having a hundred people say to him, ¡°You¡¯ve grown up.¡±


    Yue Zhishi refused to leave at bedtime, crying and fussing that he wanted to sleep with Song Yu. Lin Rong was forced to carry him into her son¡¯s room. Yue Zhishi stopped crying and fussing as soon as he entered Song Yu¡¯s blanket, obediently and peacefully sleeping next to Song Yu¡¯s arm. He was just like a small western doll, tearfully, obediently saying good night to him in English.


    Just because Song Yu covered his ears during thunder and gave him cake to eat, it looked like Yue Zhishi imprinted onto this child only three years older than him. Just like a young chick.


    Once Lin Rong left, Song Yu flipped over and looked at Yue Zhishi who had his eyes closed. He silently thought it could be nice to have a younger brother. Even though he was a bit clingy and constantly wanted to be close to him, it wasn¡¯t that bad. He could take him to the park to fly kites, to look at the riverside reeds. He could take him with him to his Olympic Mathematic classes, even though this small thing probably wouldn¡¯t understand a word.


    Song Yu¡¯s brain was already full of scenarios with Yue Zhishi sticking to him.


    Children were always full of curiosity, except for Song Yu. He was full of logic from a young age. But once he realised he¡¯d become an older brother, for the first time in his life, he was filled with a strange novelty.


    But that night, Song Yu also understood for the first time that it wasn¡¯t so simple to be an older brother.


    He was startled awake by the sound of Yue Zhishi¡¯s breathing in the middle of the night. His small hands were tightly grasped onto his arm, every breath gasping for air. Song Yu was scared witless, and his first reaction was to run off the bed to pound on his parents¡¯ door.


    The sound of the ambulance terrified people more than thunder, and it kept ringing in Song Yu¡¯s ears all night. He refused to be left behind and ran behind the adults, watching as his father carried Yue Zhishi. He was so small. His eyes were closed, and his mouth was no longer that pretty pink colour.


    The emergency room was full of disorder. His memories were like scattered scenes from a film covered by a grey filter. The sound of his heartbeat and Yue Zhishi¡¯s painful attempts for air were his background music.


    The doctor finally came out and told them everything was okay. His crying mother suddenly stood up, and his father pulled out a cigarette. Only then did Song Yu¡¯s heart start to calm down.


    ¡°Our initial testing shows asthma caused by food allergies. We tested some allergens, and it looks like this child has a very severe wheat allergy. He cannot eat anything with wheat. A mild reaction could be diarrhoea and a rash, but a stronger reaction may be like tonight¡¯s acute asthma attack. As parents, how could you not pay attention to these things?¡±


    Lin Rong kept crying and didn¡¯t say anything. Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t eaten anything that was made from wheat from the day he arrived ¡ª he¡¯d eaten mostly vegetables, fruit or rice porridge. His parents passed away so suddenly, leaving them no way to find out.


    ¡°We¡¯ll be more careful next time,¡± Father Song hoarsely said.


    ¡°This allergy is very serious. The child¡¯s only three years old ¡ª you can¡¯t joke around with this.¡± The doctor continued, ¡°Did he eat something he shouldn¡¯t have eaten today?


    ¡°He shouldn¡¯t have¡­¡± Lin Rong thought it was strange. She couldn¡¯t remember giving him anything with wheat today.


    A string snapped in Song Yu¡¯s mind. He suddenly understood. He was the world¡¯s scariest culprit, almost killing the younger brother who¡¯d relied on him so much. The beloved cookies he¡¯d brought out to soothe ended up going down as poison.


    ¡°He¡­ he ate some cookies. I gave them to him.¡± Song Yu had never been so anxious before, and yet he honestly confessed his crime, even though he hadn¡¯t really meant to commit it.


    The doctor sighed, ¡°We see these situations a lot. They¡¯re just children. It¡¯s just like when you feed some goldfishes and then they¡¯re dead the next day from being overfed. They never mean to do it.¡±


    This comparison didn¡¯t lessen Song Yu¡¯s guilt at all. It increased it.


    ¡°Seeing how strongly he reacted, he should¡¯ve eaten a fair amount.¡± The doctor comforted him and said, ¡°You must really like your younger brother to give him so much cake. Remember, next time you can¡¯t.¡±


    A child¡¯s sense of remorse and anxiety allowed Song Yu to understand for the first time ¡ª even ¡®like¡¯ could cause harm.


    He thought he¡¯d just taken in a pitiful stray dog, sheltering it with his umbrella during a storm. But in reality, he¡¯d extended out his arm to carelessly feed some fishes while being full of delight, and the end result was just a lifeless, floating goldfish.


    His parents didn¡¯t blame him and even comforted him like the doctor did, telling him it was okay. But from that day on, Song Yu purposefully put some distance between him and this younger brother and refused to get overly close. He didn¡¯t understand why, but perhaps he was unable to let go of that night¡¯s fear and anxiety. Perhaps he realised what restraint meant.


    He understood what it meant a lot earlier than even some adults.


    After growing up, Song Yu constantly felt like there was a barrier between him and the rest of the world. His hands tightly clenched the few threads connecting him to the people he needed, and everything was covered by shades of grey.


    Only Yue Zhishi was an accident in his planned out life, arriving like a sudden heavy storm. Some people said it was an unresolved brotherhood from their previous lives bringing them together. A special thread was added to his hands, thin and bright red in colour. It was so thin it might break with just one breath. After all, this string didn¡¯t belong to him in the first place ¡ª so not only did he tightly grasp onto it, he tried to find ways to keep it intact.


    He just chose the stupidest, but most guaranteed way.

 CH 7

    Chapter 7: Juice Dye


    Song Yu briefly recounted his memories of Yue Zhishi¡¯s first allergic reaction, skipping over his feelings and mental processes at that time.


    After listening, Yue Zhishi only had one thought ¡ª even now, Song Yu still wouldn¡¯t give him anything nice to eat.


    He was a little depressed thinking about it. But he didn¡¯t say anything, thinking that he would seem a bit childish if he brought it up. Song Yu saw his dejection and thought it meant something else, like being unable to accept Song Yu¡¯s accidentally harming him.


    So the two of them didn¡¯t keep talking.


    Curious girls in his class surrounded him once he returned to school in the afternoon. Yue Zhishi¡¯s head ached, so he spoke around the topic and didn¡¯t directly tell them of his parents¡¯ joint death. He only said the relationship between his and Song Yu¡¯s father has been very good, the two families were very close and that was why he was temporarily living with Song Yu. It wasn¡¯t really a lie.


    He didn¡¯t actually think it was shameful to not have parents. It was just that if he told the truth, everyone would definitely look at him with faces full of sympathy. Yue Zhishi still couldn¡¯t take that sort of situation.


    He considered himself to be very happy and didn¡¯t want to turn into a pitiful child in other people¡¯s eyes.


    Other than the curiosity towards his family background, Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t expect something more troublesome to happen ¡ª Song Yu¡¯s pursuers.


    Peiya¡¯s high school and junior high school departments were each split into two buildings. Two of the buildings had one open corridor connecting them on the third floor. Song Yu and Yue Zhishi¡¯s classes were coincidentally both in these two connected buildings, so it became very easy to cross school departments to look for someone.


    Many of Song Yu¡¯s pursuers weren¡¯t able to get a response from him, so they decided to take a more devious path ¡ª they added Yue Zhi¡¯s QQ and grabbed information that way. It could be seen as simply asking for help, but more than half of the people who ran straight to Yue Zhishi¡¯s class were his seniors. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know how to handle them at all.


    The night self-study session ended at 9:30pm. Everyone counted down the seconds until the bell rang and streamed out the door once the time came. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t follow them. High school¡¯s self-study didn¡¯t end until 9:50pm, so he slowly finished the question he was working on, slowly packed up and dawdled until he was the last person to leave.


    He pretty much did this every day.


    Yue Zhishi paused once he reached the corridor. He tilted his head and looked across to the fifth floor¡¯s high school class 3-5¡¯s room. Time slowly passed, and Yue Zhishi simply sat in the corridor and read some manga. The bell rang at 9:50, but the door for class 3-5 remained quiet.


    The advanced classes in high school were clearly very hard.


    Yue Zhishi ended up biking home by himself. Lin Rong was simmering some Chinese herbal pigeon soup, filling the entire house with fragrance. The little Pomeranian ran straight to Yue Zhishi as soon as he opened the door. He lifted the dog into his arms and said, ¡°Cotton Candy, have you gained weight again? You¡¯re so heavy.¡±


    ¡°Is it you, Le Le? You must be tired.¡± Lin Rong dropped some rice cakes into the pot and scooped them into a bowl with the soup as soon they softened. She then placed some red centred dragon fruit slices into another bowl.


    Yue Zhishi sat on the carpet and raised his head to take the bowl of soup. ¡°Where¡¯s Uncle?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s out of the country for some business. I don¡¯t think he¡¯ll be back until next week.¡± Lin Rong caressed his head. ¡°He said he¡¯ll bring home some presents for you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi happily swallowed a big mouthful of soup and almost burned his tongue.


    ¡°Slowly, no rush.¡± Lin Rong placed the bowl of fruit next to him before returning back to the kitchen.


    He continued sitting on the carpet, legs curled under him. Yue Zhishi continued eating his bowl of rice cake soup while watching a variety show. Once he could see the bottom of his bowl, he heard the door open and immediately dropped it to crawl onto the sofa and look over.


    Song Yu placed his keys on top of the doorway cabinet and changed his shoes before walking in. The family cat leisurely raised its head from the noise, twitched its tail and meowed once before turning back over to continue sleeping.


    ¡°Welcome home. Hurry and come in.¡±


    Song Yu entered the kitchen after hearing Lin Rong¡¯s words. Yue Zhishi followed behind him, whining about how he¡¯d lately turned into just a tool for others to exploit. ¡°They all added me on QQ and then the first things they would ask were your QQ username and what was the answer to your mandatory friend request question.¡±


    ¡°Just say you don¡¯t know it.¡± Song Yu calmly drank his soup, his entire demeanour as if the situation had nothing to do with him.


    ¡°How could I not know it? I¡¯d be lying,¡± Yue Zhishi muttered to himself. The more he thought about it, the more he couldn¡¯t help but complain. ¡°They don¡¯t even bother saying some pleasantries before asking after you.¡±


    The first half of his words was full of childish whining, and yet Song Yu found the second half a bit funny. ¡°You even know the word ¡®pleasantries¡¯?¡±


    Yue Zhishi frowned, feeling as though he was being underestimated. ¡°Of course I do.¡±


    ¡°Our Le Le¡¯s all grown up now. I still remember how he used to not know what sister-in-law meant,¡± Lin Rong laughed. ¡°He even said he wanted to be his own sister-in-law.¡±


    Song Yu glanced at him before lightly moving away his line of sight.


    That was something from a long time ago. Yue Zhishi had started learning Chinese later than other children, and Chinese familial relationship terms were complicated to begin with. He had been utterly confused every time he heard his classmate talk about uncles, aunts or nephews. One day, he heard a classmate say he had a very beautiful sister-in-law. He had returned home and curiously asked Song Yu, what is a sister-in-law?


    ¡°A sister-in-law is the wife of your older brother,¡± Song Yu had replied.


    Lin Rong just happened to be eavesdropping nearby. ¡°You¡¯ll have to leave home once you have a wife.¡±


    That sentence gave Yue Zhishi¡¯s little heart a large shock.


    His small brain mused over it for a long time. If Song Yu gege married a wife and gave him a sister-in-law, then wouldn¡¯t they have to separate? He would have his own family and wouldn¡¯t be able to live together with him anymore.


    No way!


    Yue Zhishi hugged Song Yu¡¯s arm and cutely begged, ¡°Xiao Yu gege, I don¡¯t want a sister-in-law.¡±


    Father Song teased him. ¡°How would that work? Your gege won¡¯t marry just because you don¡¯t want a sister-in-law?¡±


    Yue Zhishi replied innocently, ¡°Then I¡¯ll be your sister-in-law!¡±


    Yue Zhishi saw questions marks all over Song Yu¡¯s face and realised something wasn¡¯t quite right. He hurriedly corrected himself, ¡°No no, I¡¯ll be my sister-in-law!¡±


    From then on, that childish babble became part of Yue Zhishi¡¯s dark past in the Song family. Someone would occasionally pull it out, and every time, Yue Zhishi would have one of his rare fits  of annoyance.


    Just like now.


    ¡°I was only five! Why bring it up again!¡± He walked away as he complained. His movements were stiff, almost like a robot pretending to be angry like a human.


    ¡°To be honest, it sounded like you wanted a childhood betrothal at that age.¡± Lin Rong was too amused by Yue Zhishi and lay on her son¡¯s shoulder as she laughed. Suddenly, a scream came from outside the kitchen.


    Song Yu paused for two seconds before putting down his bowl and went into the living room. But there was only Yue Zhishi and Cotton Candy in his arms: ¡°How come you look like this? Who let you steal my dragon fruit? Hm? Did you want to dye your fur?¡±


    Cotton Candy was originally as white as snow, but now his entire face was covered by rose coloured juice, his little grape-like black eyes blinking innocently at him.


    ¡°There¡¯s no point looking at me. You can¡¯t just randomly steal things, what if it was something you couldn¡¯t eat? Do you want to go to the hospital? It¡¯s always so depressing to go to the hospital.¡±


    Just a false alarm. Song Yu stood there, watching Yue Zhishi scold the little dog like a child pretending to be an adult. Every word from his mouth was too familiar.


    ¡°You really make people worry.¡± Yue Zhishi finished scolding with this sentence. But he soon cuddled Cotton Candy again, turning around and almost running into Song Yu.


    ¡°Watch where you¡¯re going,¡± Song Yu said.


    Yue Zhishi slipped away into the bathroom, cleaning Cotton Candy up before taking a shower himself. His energy was finally depleted, and he laid down on his bed. His phone kept vibrating from the QQ notifications. He couldn¡¯t take it anymore and could only use the last remaining bits of his consciousness to reply to everyone, saying he himself didn¡¯t know the answer to Song Yu¡¯s friend request question. He wasn¡¯t allowed to give away Song Yu¡¯s QQ and if he did, he would be in big trouble.


    He really would get into trouble. He¡¯d done it before when he was younger.


    Yue Zhishi turned off his phone once he finished replying and immediately fell asleep. He dreamed about the one time in elementary school he¡¯d been convinced by an older girl to pass along a confession letter. He¡¯d ended up being ignored by Song Yu for an entire week, and this memory almost scared him awake.


    He rarely rejected girls on Song Yu¡¯s behalf, but it was very effective this time. He was left alone for a good few days.


    But he never expected that his refusal to help his seniors and the lack of interaction between Song Yu and him would cause the school to start spreading many strange rumours. They were born from the same mother but had different fathers, or he was dumped under their roof, etc. The rumours were more exaggerated than even some dramatic novels. And in the midst of all this gossip, there was one main topic ¡ª that the two brothers didn¡¯t get along.


    As the rumour kept spreading, it finally reached the ears of the person involved. Yue Zhishi felt like he was a little mouse crawling and tumbling around, falling from one grey pit to another with no end to his troubles. He explained again and again, but everyone refused to listen.


    After two math classes in a row, Yue Zhishi¡¯s brain was fully numb. He fuzzily took back his homework from the math class representative and took out a red pen to fix his answers. He started chewing on the end of the pen as he reviewed.


    ¡°I got the arc length wrong again¡­¡±


    Jiang Yufan didn¡¯t even bother to open his assignment book. ¡°We finally get to go to physical education class!¡± He tugged at Yue Zhishi¡¯s arm. ¡°Let¡¯s go, let¡¯s go.¡±


    ¡°Mm¡­¡± Yue Zhishi sighed. He suddenly tasted something sweet in his mouth and looked down at the pen he was just biting. It was leaking!


    Yue Zhishi immediately touched his mouth. His fingers came away covered with red ink.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Jiang Yufan watched Yue Zhishi run out and was completely confused. He looked around for a while before seeing Yue Zhishi come out of the toilet, lips tightly pressed together and refusing to speak. The class bell was about to ring, so the two of them ran quickly to the sports ground. They managed to get there just in time.


    The class warmed up with some running. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t open his mouth the entire time, and once he finished running, he covered his mouth with a hand and told Jiang Yufan he needed to go to the toilet. Jiang Yufan seriously thought he had diarrhoea, so he didn¡¯t ask much before going to play basketball with the other boys.


    The girls in the class walked through the sports ground in pairs, heading towards the canteen in the cafeteria. They started chattering loudly at the sight of a boy, but Yue Zhishi simply couldn¡¯t care anymore. He was embarrassed and wanted to find a place to hide and scrub away the red ink staining his mouth.


    I¡¯ll just go home if I can¡¯t get it off.


    But I still need to open my mouth to request leave¡­


    Let¡¯s just go to the toilet in the cafeteria. At least there¡¯s a mirror there.


    Decision made, Yue Zhishi covered his mouth and lowered his head, quickly pushing past the girls and leaving the sports ground. The artificial grass underneath his footsteps stubbornly stood back up after being stepped on, rustling in its movements.


    He kept moving forward, and in a moment of inattention, he accidentally bumped into someone. It was actually quite a heavy bump, so he quickly apologised. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t it Le Le?¡±


    The voice sounded familiar. Yue Zhishi raised his head and saw Qin Yan, one of Song Yu¡¯s classmates since they were young. He could also be considered as Song Yu¡¯s only friend.


    Qin Yan looked at Song Yu. ¡°Does your little brother plan on leaving his big eyes just for decoration? He doesn¡¯t use them.¡±


    Yue Zhishi wanted to retort, but he didn¡¯t want to open his mouth. He just shook his head.


    ¡°I saw you from far away and watched as you walked over step by step until you finally knocked into your brother here like a magnet. Good thing you didn¡¯t bump into poor weak me, or else I¡¯d be on the floor right now,¡± Qin Yan teased, elbowing the expressionless Song Yu. ¡°Right?¡±


    Song Yu lazily said, ¡°You should go get checked if you¡¯re ill.¡±


    ¡°No way, I have to be our Le Le¡¯s loyalest cheerleader even if I¡¯m sick from the flu.¡±


    Song Yu was holding a basketball, and Yue Zhishi guessed that he wanted to go play. If it was before, he would definitely want to stick to Song Yu, but he was too embarrassed right now and just wanted to run away. He lowered his head and said, very quickly, ¡°Sorry, it was an accident, I have to go now, bye.¡±


    Yue Zhishi circled around and prepared to sneak away, but his arm was abruptly grabbed.


    A change in behaviour was always obvious.


    Yue Zhishi looked over and saw Song Yu¡¯s gaze move down towards his mouth. He looked at it for a little while before throwing the basketball in his hands to Qin Yan and started pulling Yue Zhishi in one direction without a single word.


    ¡°Ah?¡± Yue Zhishi stumbled after him. Once his brain caught up, he tried to tug his arm away, but he couldn¡¯t pull away. He could only keep his mouth closed and used his two arms to pull at Song Yu, body leaning backwards and trying to keep Song Yu from moving.


    Seeing him like this, Song Yu stood still. Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t fully open his eyes from the strong sun, and the few girls walking nearby all turned their heads to look at them.


    Song Yu suddenly opened his hand. Yue Zhishi was still leaning backwards, so he abruptly plopped onto the floor.


    Song Yu knelt down as well and took hold of Yue Zhishi¡¯s chin. His thumb and index finger squeezed Yue Zhishi¡¯s cheeks and forced open his mouth. He saw the teeth dyed with red ink.


    ¡°I knew it.¡±


    Yue Zhishi quickly closed his mouth, butt scooting backwards.


    So embarrassing.


    ¡°Why are you running.¡± Song Yu held his face and examined his mouth, pulling him up once he was done. ¡°Are you planning on going to class like this?¡±


    Since he had been discovered, Yue Zhishi could only follow behind Song Yu in despair. Song Yu pulled him along like he was just a balloon.


    ¡°Can we walk slower? My butt hurts.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t say anything, but he did slow down a bit.


    The infirmary again.


    Yue Zhishi said in a small voice that he wasn¡¯t sick, but Song Yu didn¡¯t reply. He simply continued pulling Yue Zhishi into the room. The doctor in charge was somewhere else, and there was no one else around. Song Yu told Yue Zhishi to sit on the chair before he went next door to find someone. He came back with a bottle of medical grade ethanol and a box of swabs.


    ¡°What¡¯s this?¡± Yue Zhishi watched him as he dragged a chair over to sit in front of him.


    Song Yu held his face again and expressionlessly commanded, ¡°Open your mouth.¡±


    Yue Zhishi listened obediently. His lips were fine, but his teeth and tongue were dyed completely from the pen¡¯s red ink. It was actually quite funny.


    Song Yu dipped a swab into the ethanol and carefully wiped at the areas with ink. Yue Zhishi had butterflies in his stomach ¡ª he was a bit worried that the ink wouldn¡¯t come off, and he would have to continue to attend class. It would be so hard to keep his mouth closed the entire day.


    He didn¡¯t know why, but he suddenly remembered how Cotton Candy stole the dragon fruit yesterday. He had to sigh: this pair of master and his dog really was related.


    The next moment, Song Yu unexpectedly laughed. The sound was very soft, light enough that Yue Zhishi thought he heard wrongly.


    ¡°You really make people worry.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    The Song Yu brand of recording machine is #1 in teasing his younger brother.

 CH 8

    Chapter 8: My Childhood With You


    He repeated back to him what Yue Zhishi had said to Cotton Candy last night.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know what to feel. Was he laughing at him? He must be, right?


    But what Song Yu said wasn¡¯t wrong either ¡ª he really did make people worry about him.


    Yue Zhishi felt a bit sad thinking about it. When Song Yu reached out again with a swab, Yue Zhishi moved back a little and said softly, ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t respond to his apology. He only reached out his other arm to grab his chin. ¡°Don¡¯t move.¡±


    Yue Zhishi really did stop moving after those words. But his thoughts started to wander, and he thought about how in the past, no matter if he had won an award in the speaking contest or if he had been knocked down during a basketball game, Song Yu would¡¯ve never intentionally come up to him even if he was there. They had very seriously pretended to be strangers.


    So now, Yue Zhishi was actually the tiniest bit grateful to his sudden asthma attack during the school opening ceremony that day. It had forced them to expose their complicated relationship and allowed them to openly walk together in the light.


    Seeing him sitting there in a daze, Song Yu indifferently asked, ¡°Was it yummy?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was pulled from his thoughts and was convinced by this question that Song Yu was definitely laughing at him.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to suck up the ink.¡± Yue Zhishi frowned.


    Song Yu was reminded of the one time they¡¯d gone to the dentist together. Yue Zhishi had eaten enough candy that his entire mouth was full of cavities, and Lin Rong had brought them to the dentist. As soon as he heard the sound of the electric drill, Yue Zhishi had opened his mouth and started wailing, refusing to let go of Song Yu¡¯s hand.


    Song Yu continued to clean and calmly asked, ¡°What¡¯d it taste like?¡±


    ¡°Like a cantaloupe.¡± Yue Zhishi continued describing it. ¡°It was sweet at the beginning, but it started tasting a bit weird afterwards, almost like some fever syrup.¡±


    He managed to describe it so specifically.


    Yue Zhishi spat out some of the taste in his mouth into some paper. ¡°Maybe the ink makers predicted that some people would end up sucking the ink, so they purposefully made it taste sweet?¡±


    Song Yu glanced at him. ¡°If you¡¯d known earlier that pen ink was sweet, would we have not needed to take you to the dentist? If you¡¯d eaten this instead of candy, you wouldn¡¯t have gotten cavities.¡±


    He was being teased again, but Yue Zhishi completely missed the point. ¡°Did I go to the dentist when I was younger?¡±


    Unbelievable ¡ª he¡¯d cried so much and yet he¡¯d completely forgotten about it. Shouldn¡¯t it have been something he remembered for his entire life?


    ¡°Your childhood memories really are quite blurry,¡± Song Yu said.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t comment and held onto his wrist. His mouth was full of saliva, so his words were a bit unclear. ¡°So what if they are. Don¡¯t you remember everything?¡±


    ¡°Since my childhood was all yours anyway.¡±


    Song Yu was slightly stunned.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t think he said anything strange, his two legs still moving about. His entire body wasn¡¯t able to sit still. Song Yu stayed silent, using a hand to press down Yue Zhishi¡¯s shaking knees, and carefully used the cotton swabs to wipe off the ink on Yue Zhishi¡¯s teeth.


    With his knees being held down, Yue Zhishi lowered his head and caught a glimpse of Song Yu¡¯s empty wrist. He wasn¡¯t wearing the watch he¡¯d given him.


    ¡°You¡¯re not wearing your watch?¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t immediately respond, and Yue Zhishi continued, ¡°Why not?¡±


    This way of repeatedly, straightforwardly questioning him reminded Song Yu of the time Yue Zhishi gave him the watch. When Song Yu had refused to take it, he¡¯d questioned him directly just like this.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you want it?¡±


    ¡°Xiao Yu gege, you don¡¯t like it?¡±


    Yue Zhishi had been especially naive when he was younger. He¡¯d carried the gift box with the watch, looked at it and thought it looked quite nice. He¡¯d raised his head again and asked, ¡°Doesn¡¯t it look nice? I asked the lady at the counter to help me pick it out, and she promised you¡¯d like it.¡±


    It wasn¡¯t that Song Yu hadn¡¯t liked it. To an elementary school student, he knew that the amount of money looked like a fortune. Yue Zhishi could¡¯ve entirely bought many things for himself and not spent the entire amount on a watch for him. Song Yu had also been very clear at the same time that it would be no use if he said these things to Yue Zhishi, who was a silly and stubborn little child.


    So he¡¯d decided to directly speak to the lady at the counter.


    ¡°Hello, I want to ask for a refund. I haven¡¯t used this watch before, and the packaging and receipt are all here. I should be able to refund it based on this shopping centre¡¯s policies.¡±


    The lady clearly remembered the cute mixed-race child who¡¯d come alone to buy a watch. Now that his brother was here and carried himself with a maturity far beyond his peers to ask for a refund, it was hard to not marvel at the two of them.


    ¡°No problem.¡± The lady kept slightly smiling. ¡°Can I please see¡­¡±


    Yue Zhishi was right in front of the counter, and he loudly yelled no before directly sitting onto the floor. He tightly held onto Song Yu¡¯s leg, crying and begging. At first, Song Yu refused to give in and brought out the receipts to give to the lady, but Yue Zhishi was crying so bitterly that the lady couldn¡¯t help but ask, ¡°Are you sure you don¡¯t want to discuss it with your younger brother?¡±


    Song Yu thought for a bit before kneeling down. He took out a pack of tissues from his bag and gave it to him. ¡°Why are you crying?¡±


    ¡°You, you don¡¯t want my present,¡± Yue Zhishi sobbed. The more he spoke, the more he felt wronged. ¡°I haven¡¯t even finished saying happy birthday yet when you, you¡­¡±


    Seeing that he was about to start crying again, Song Yu immediately said, ¡°It¡¯s not that I don¡¯t want your present.¡±


    Yue Zhishi immediately hushed, his big eyes brimming with tears as he listened to Song Yu speak.


    ¡°It¡¯s just too expensive. It¡¯s not good to spend like this.¡±


    Maybe one day he¡¯d look back and regret spending his entire first pay check in one go.


    The tears continued rolling downwards. Yue Zhishi used the back of his hand to wipe them away. ¡°But I thought about it for a long time. You all keep thinking I don¡¯t understand anything, but I do.¡±


    Hearing this, the counter lady standing by the side couldn¡¯t help but say, ¡°It¡¯s true. Even I thought your little brother was just playing around the first time he came. But he came three times and took a long time to choose. He didn¡¯t pay until the last day.¡±


    He¡¯d taken his money pouch out of his bag and carefully counted his money three times.


    The lady looked at Song Yu. ¡°He was really cautious about it.¡±


    Song Yu fell silent. He was still helpless in front of Yue Zhishi¡¯s loud tears, so he decided by himself to make the decision he thought was right. The watch was temporarily not returned. Yue Zhishi thought he tacitly agreed to accept the present and happily followed him home.


    Song Yu had sat at his desk that night in his room, the lustrous watch dial glimmering under the light of the desk lamp. He¡¯d looked at the price tag for a long time and decided to go back by himself the next day to return the watch.


    Wanting a cup of water before he fell asleep, Song Yu was halfway down the stairs when he saw Yue Zhishi nestled in his mother¡¯s arms, watching some anime with a lollipop in his mouth. He was pointing at the Xiao Tiancai ad playing on TV: ¡°That watch isn¡¯t as nice as the one I gave gege, right, Aunt Rong?¡±


    ¡°Of course! You bought the prettiest one, better than ten of those put together.¡± Lin Rong patted his head and asked, ¡°Le Le, why did you buy a watch for your brother?¡±


    Song Yu froze.


    Yue Zhishi had taken out the candy in his mouth and said very sincerely, just like a small adult, ¡°We used to be together everyday, and I could find gege to play just by going down two floors. I really miss him now that gege is going to junior high in a different school. I want my watch to stay with him.¡± He lifted his own empty wrist and laughed, ¡°So whenever Xiao Yu gege looks at the time, he¡¯ll think of me.¡±


    ¡°Our Le Le is so smart.¡±


    Song Yu never thought that those kind of feelings had rested behind such big, wailing cries. He silently retreated, sat back down and put on the watch.


    He was clearly the one who never paid attention to these things, and yet every minute and every second were etched into his memories. When asked, he would be the only one who remembered.


    Song Yu couldn¡¯t tell anymore ¡ª between Yue Zhishi and him, who needed each other more.


    Engrossed in his memories, Song Yu was a bit careless and accidentally swiped the swab onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s gums. Yue Zhishi frowned from the burn and started moving away. Song Yu returned back to reality and pulled his chin forward. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t dare move and stayed motionless just like a lamb waiting to be slaughtered. He repeated his question again. ¡°Why aren¡¯t you wearing it?¡±


    ¡°You ask a lot of questions,¡± Song Yu said.


    There would have been only one question if you answered me the first time, Yue Zhishi thought.


    Song Yu¡¯s expression was extremely cold, his gaze concentrating on one particular area. Yue Zhishi thought of a horror film he¡¯d watched before, where a cannibal in it was just as graceful.


    Wait, this comparison was too strange. Yue Zhishi told himself to stop daydreaming and closed his eyes.


    The loss of his sight strengthened his other senses.


    He could very clearly feel each stroke of the wet swab ¡ª it was very light and slightly ticklish. The ethanol was very cooling. Maybe Yue Zhishi felt so differently because he was very aware that he wasn¡¯t sitting across from a dentist.


    He was leaning in very closely. He could smell the fragrance of the lemon citrus detergent wafting from Song Yu¡¯s collar. It was the same smell as his own, and Yue Zhishi subconsciously relaxed.


    But the taste of the ethanol really wasn¡¯t nice. Because Yue Zhishi¡¯s mouth was kept open for a while, his mouth kept producing saliva and mixed in with the medical grade ethanol.


    So bitter.


    Song Yu¡¯s hand suddenly stopped.


    Yue Zhishi obediently sat there with his eyes closed and waited for Song Yu to continue. But after a while of no movement, he suspiciously opened his eyes and warily garbled out a ge.


    Song Yu stuffed the ethanol and cotton swabs into his hand and stood up. ¡°There¡¯s a mirror over there. Do it yourself.¡±


    Yue Zhishi pulled some paper, spat out the bitter saliva in his mouth and obediently followed his instructions. He knew doing this for him was a bit annoying, and he should¡¯ve done it himself earlier.


    He examined his teeth after he reached the mirror next to the window and found that the stains were pretty much completely gone.


    So cool, apparently even ink as stubborn as that could be dissolved.


    Yue Zhishi was never able to hide his moods, so the feelings of worship towards Song Yu started to show on his face.


    ¡°So amazing. My uniforms are constantly being stained by pen ink. Can alcohol dissolve those too?¡± He looked at Song Yu like he¡¯d just discovered a new world.


    Song Yu¡¯s right hand was holding onto his left wrist. He separated his hands when Yue Zhishi looked around, released a ¡®hm¡¯, and turned around to leave. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ wait for me.¡± Yue Zhishi wanted to follow Song Yu but looking around him, he also wanted to put away the things they used. He hesitated for a second before deciding to clean up. By the time he walked out, Song Yu was already very far away.


    Yue Zhishi felt a bit lost as he looked at Song Yu¡¯s receding figure.


    He touched his chin, pinched it and kicked a little stone. He plodded away and didn¡¯t return directly to the sports ground, but went to the cafeteria¡¯s little supermarket and bought a bottle of Yakult.


    The ethanol had really been too bitter.


    Yue Zhishi stood in front of the supermarket holding the small bottle. He swallowed a big mouthful like an adult would swig a beer. He drank it too quickly and felt like he hadn¡¯t drank anything at all. He went back and bought another one, pushing through a straw, and walked back to the sports ground.


    When he went back, he found that Jiang Yufan wasn¡¯t playing basketball like he thought he would. He was looking around everywhere and coincidentally managed to meet Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes. Yue Zhishi nodded while holding his bottle and widened his eyes, hinting that he saw him too.


    Jiang Yufan immediately ran over, looking very anxious, and pulled at him. ¡°I¡¯ve been looking everywhere for you. Are you okay?¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head with the straw in his mouth and thought his expression was a bit weird. So he released the straw and asked, ¡°Why?¡±


    Jiang Yufan quickly glanced around. ¡°Some of the girls in class just said they saw Song Yu pulling you over somewhere to beat you up. They described it so vividly.¡±


    Beat me up?


    Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t had a chance to react when Jiang Yufan lifted a hand to open his mouth. ¡°I heard your mouth was bleeding too, let me see? Are all your teeth okay?¡±


    What. Yue Zhishi escaped from his hands and finished his Yakult. ¡°He didn¡¯t hit me.¡±


    How was there even blood. Yue Zhishi suddenly realised ¡ª when he was resisting earlier, he must have opened his mouth. The girls nearby most likely had thought the red ink in his mouth was blood.


    That was some strong imagination.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine. How could my brother hit me? It¡¯s just a misunderstanding.¡± Yue Zhishi was afraid Jiang Yufan would continue questioning him and force him to reveal the embarrassing ink situation, so he quickly changed the topic. ¡°Still want to play basketball? Let¡¯s play together.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s fine then, I was just saying it didn¡¯t sound right.¡± Jiang Yufan relaxed and yelled at some of the boys in their class nearby. ¡°Basketball?¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s go let¡¯s go, three on three.¡± A classmate waved a hand at Yue Zhishi. ¡°Le Le, come on!¡±


    Yue Zhishi threw away his empty bottle while saying he¡¯d definitely hold them back but ran over quite happily.


    ¡°No way, how would you hold us back!¡±


    ¡°Are we splitting up into teams, I want Le Le!¡±


    ¡°Le Le, I¡¯ll carry you!¡±


    The youthfulness and energy of fourteen, fifteen-year-old boys were like the bubbles in a just opened bottle of soda, constantly rising upwards with no way to push them back down. A few metres away, the very sick Qin Yan sneezed and slightly smiled as he rubbed his nose. He looked over and sighed with feeling, ¡°Your family¡¯s Le Le really is everyone¡¯s favourite.¡±


    The basketball dropped into the hoop.


    Song Yu landed on his toes and retracted his hand. His gaze swept over to where it was full of noise before returning back to look at Qin Yan. He didn¡¯t sound very friendly. ¡°You talk too much.¡±


    ¡°Yo, who annoyed you.¡± Qin Yan smiled foolishly and hooked his arm around Song Yu¡¯s neck. ¡°It couldn¡¯t have been Le Le, could it?¡±


    ¡°Give me back my watch,¡± Song Yu said.


    Qin Yan¡¯s face was full of confusion. ¡°Didn¡¯t you tell me to hold it for you?¡± He pulled it out from his pocket and passed it over. ¡°I was so confused, you would take it off every time you played ball. I thought it was some big brand. Who gave it to you? You treat it like your baby.¡±


    ¡°My baby gave it to me,¡± Song Yu replied, face completely dead. He carefully put the watch back on.


    Qin Yan cracked up. ¡°Xiao Song, you¡¯re too funny!¡±

 CH 9

    Chapter 9: A Grapefruit Sky


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t actually take everyone¡¯s gossip over the last few days seriously. He was a little gullible and thought it would all pass after a little while. But others clearly thought more about it than he did, as everyone liked to gossip. Even though he kept explaining, after many days, the rumour of ¡°Yue Zhishi was brought aside by Song Yu during physical education class and beat up until his mouth bled¡± was still running rampant. He couldn¡¯t control it.


    His classmates all started to express their ¡°care¡± for him in many different ways. Some people gave him snacks and said he must be suffering a lot. Others directly painted Le Le as the modern day Cinderella.


    Yue Zhishi never stopped declaring that Song Yu was a very good older brother, but they all assumed that he simply had a good temper. Even the female classmates who asked him about his views on Song Yu during the school opening ceremony thought so.


    ¡°No wonder you didn¡¯t want to answer and would only say good things about Song Yu.¡± The girl suddenly realised. ¡°I didn¡¯t realise you were so scared of Song Yu.¡±


    Yue Zhishi usually had such a good temper that most people thought he had no bottom line.


    But his stubborn, most unbreakable bottom line was Song Yu, and he never allowed anyone to speak the tiniest bit badly of Song Yu in front of him. Song Yu treated him well, and it was an established fact in his heart.


    ¡°No, he¡¯s a good person and isn¡¯t like the way you guys think. I¡¯ve said it so many times. He really didn¡¯t hit me, it was all rumours. He treats me especially well.¡± Yue Zhishi spoke uncharacteristically seriously, tone obviously showing a bit of temper. He even stopped drawing cartoons and said to them, ¡°And also, it¡¯s not right to talk about others behind their backs.¡±


    His classmates were a bit scared by the way he acted. ¡°We¡¯re not talking behind anyone¡¯s back¡­ With the relationship between you two, if we say it in front of you, doesn¡¯t it equal saying it to his face too?¡±


    Yue Zhishi had no way to retort.


    A girl then curiously asked, ¡°If he really treats you as well as you say he does, then how come he doesn¡¯t act like an older brother to you at all?¡±


    Another person also said, ¡°That¡¯s right, he looks very nasty.¡±


    ¡°Older brothers generally always spoil their younger siblings.¡±


    ¡°Anyway, I just don¡¯t like his personality. He doesn¡¯t have a sunny personality at all, even though he does look decent.¡±


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t be bothered arguing with them. Song Yu said before, arguing pointlessly can make people look very stupid. He lowered his head and looked at the small figure he just drew. It didn¡¯t look right no matter how he looked at it, so he used his pencil and scribbled all over it.


    Jiang Yufan was carrying a clean mop into the classroom as he called out, ¡°Le Le, someone¡¯s outside looking for you.¡± He came inside and said to the classmates still discussing, ¡°Are you guys bored yet. If you put the same amount of effort into studying as you did into gossiping, you guys would test into Peiya¡¯s high school department in a second.¡±


    Yue Zhishi looked over at the window. He could only see half of someone¡¯s body, but it was a very tall body and was wearing the white shirt from the high school department. Yue Zhishi was suddenly a bit excited and quickly ran outside.


    The smile on his face froze once he went out.


    ¡°You¡¯re too obviously disappointed. Don¡¯t look around, it¡¯s just me,¡± Qin Yan teased.


    Yue Zhishi weakly greeted this senior. He was actually very disappointed, so he fluttered his eyelids and purposefully asked, ¡°Senior, you shouldn¡¯t be here to ask me to confess to gege on your behalf, right?¡±


    Qin Yan laughed loudly. ¡°I can¡¯t decide who¡¯s funnier between the two of you.¡± He gave Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulder a pat. ¡°I¡¯ll stop teasing you. I wanted to speak to you about something serious.¡±


    You¡¯re not a proper person to begin with, what kind of serious thing can you have, Yue Zhishi thought.


    Male classmates were all loudly horsing around in the corridor. There were too many people around, so Qin Yan brought Yue Zhishi to the stairs.


    ¡°After last semester¡¯s high school senior graduated, our school broadcasting station has been missing an English speaking announcer.¡± Qin Yan¡¯s voice was very nice to listen to, and he was the current stationmaster of the school¡¯s broadcasting station. There wasn¡¯t a lot of time, so he quickly told Yue Zhishi of his wish for him to join them.


    ¡°You speak very well. You enunciated your words really nicely the last few times you attended the English poetry recital contest, and a few of your female seniors recommended you. What do you think? Would you like to try?¡±


    Yue Zhishi leaned against the wall and lightly tapped the back of his head against it. His answer had no relation to the question. ¡°Song Yu gege also speaks very well.¡±


    ¡°Him? Do you think I can actually get that Buddha to help me?¡± Qin Yan¡¯s expression clearly said: you think too highly of me, my little friend. ¡°Besides, the broadcasting station needs more junior high school students to join anyway. We broadcast your segment only once a week on Fridays. We might take away a bit of your eating time, but it¡¯ll only be about half an hour.¡± He started quipping again, ¡°English can be considered as half your native language anyway.¡±


    He only used it up until he was four years old¡­ even that could be considered as his native language?


    Honestly, working at the broadcasting station wasn¡¯t quite appropriate for a junior high student in his third year. Yue Zhishi was temporarily lost in thought.


    Qin Yan was Song Yu¡¯s good friend, and he¡¯d often come over to their house for dinner ever since junior high. In Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart, helping Qin Yan was the same as helping his gege. He agreed right before the class bell rang.


    Once he got home that night, Yue Zhishi was telling Lin Rong all about it, but she mainly focused on how he wouldn¡¯t have time to eat dinner and wanted to deliver food to him. Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but remember the lunchbox bigger than his head that one time in elementary school, leading  his classmates to all stare greedily at his fancy lunch. He shook his head and refused, saying, ¡°It¡¯s too troublesome, no need to deliver some food. I¡¯ll just find some time to eat when I can.¡±


    Their orange house cat slowly walked past him, and Yue Zhishi touched its tail. ¡°Right, Orange?¡±


    This hurt Lin Rong¡¯s feelings, as it made her think Le Le didn¡¯t need her anymore now that he was grown up. Her overflowing motherly love had no way to express itself. She pulled Orange into her arms, but it lightly jumped out and turned around to display its butt at them. It proudly and elegantly stood in the middle of the coffee table.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you ask Xiao Yu if he wants to bring dinner?¡± Song Jin squeezed his broken-hearted wife¡¯s hand.


    Song Yu had just finished showering and was drying his damp hair as he walked out of the bathroom when he heard his father call his name. He had no idea what was going on and just looked at the three people in the living room.


    Lin Rong stretched out a leg and rested it on top of Song Jin¡¯s. ¡°I don¡¯t want to make dinner for him, it¡¯s too hard. He can go find food himself.¡±


    Father Song couldn¡¯t help but laugh, ¡°Sure enough, only Le Le is your child.¡±


    Song Yu turned around to go upstairs, a towel lying on his head. ¡°A bunch of drama queens.¡±


    Qin Yan brought Yue Zhishi to observe the broadcasting station on Wednesday. The work was a lot simpler than he¡¯d thought, and his partner was a high school senior sister in her second year. Seeing that Yue Zhishi needed to start preparing for his high school entrance examination, the senior sister was responsible for all of the script writing, and Yue Zhishi only needed to read the script ahead of time and prepare.


    Yue Zhishi was a bit nervous the first day of broadcasting. In order to prepare for this live broadcast, he¡¯d practiced in the bathroom the night before for a very long time, worried that he¡¯d do something wrong. Once the bell rang and ended the afternoon¡¯s last class, he flew to the clock tower.


    ¡°Relax.¡± The senior sister patted his shoulder. ¡°We¡¯ll start the show together, and then you¡¯ll introduce the upcoming song by yourself. Then all you have to do is play the song.¡±


    Yue Zhishi solemnly nodded. ¡°I understand.¡±


    After class ended, Song Yu was called out by a teacher and ended up talking for a while. He didn¡¯t have a chance to return back to the classroom before Qin Yan dragged him away.


    ¡°What did Old Wang call you for? He blabbered for so long,¡± Qin Yan said.


    ¡°He wanted me to help him with something.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s currently in charge of a junior school class, what¡¯s the point in getting you to help? It¡¯s not like you¡¯ll get paid. I¡¯m going to die from hunger, hopefully the cafeteria has some pearl meatballs tonight.¡± Qin Yan tugged Song Yu through the open corridor and happened to see some boys downstairs in the garden. They were holding up another classmate to play a game of Happy Corner.


    ¡°Hey! Are you guys not eating?¡± Qin Yan leaned against the railing and yelled down at the boys.


    ¡°How boring.¡±


    ¡°Who are you talking about?¡± Qin Yan chuckled. ¡°Are they boring or am I? Speak clearly, don¡¯t be passive aggressive.¡±


    Music started coming out of the speaker in the garden downstairs, the melody lightly flowing into the bustling school campus. Seeing that Song Yu didn¡¯t respond, Qin Yan started to deliberately provoke him. ¡°You have the right to remain silent, but anything you say can be used against you in court.¡±


    This guy really was hard to deal with.


    The music faded away, and someone¡¯s voice came out of the speaker, speaking fluent English. The pronunciation and tone were filled with gentle youth. ¡°Good afternoon, my name is Joy.¡±


    Song Yu was pushing away the Qin Yan who was clinging onto him. ¡°You¡¯re most boring¡± was about to fall from his lips, but he suddenly stopped when he heard that voice.


    ¡°Welcome to our weekly Friday segment, The Sound of English. To start off the show, let¡¯s play a really catchy English song¡­¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t move at all from where he stood. Qin Yan knocked his shoulder against him. ¡°Hey, what¡¯s up?¡± He waved a hand in front of his face. ¡°System crashed?¡±


    Song Yu knocked away his hand and glanced at Qin Yan. ¡°You pulled him in?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± Qin Yan shrugged and openly admitted it. ¡°Le Le¡¯s voice sounds really nice. I¡¯ve said it before, I wanted to steal him under my command before starting the graduation handover. What do you think? Not bad, right?¡±


    Song Yu walked down the stairs by himself. ¡°He¡¯s in third year already.¡±


    ¡°Just this semester.¡± Qin Yan chattered away, ¡°Look at how worried you are. Everyone else is saying you¡¯re bullying the poor child. What¡¯s the point in showing only me how much you care? You also need to let the public know.¡±


    Once they left the staircase, the view of the campus broadened. The sky on top of the sports ground looked like it was soaked with grapefruit juice, and the sun was softly orange as it hung next to the clock tower. The students on the sports ground held each other by the hand, talking and running around, their laughter melting into the song as it started playing.


    The first time live host must have forgotten to mute his microphone. He was more absorbed into the song than everyone else and even softly sang the last phrase together with the chorus.


    In the noisy, cheerful campus, everyone was busy enjoying their own precious leisure time. This small mistake passed by without making a single ripple, but it made waves in one person¡¯s heart.


    ¡°My youth is yours.¡±


    Song Yu stopped walking and looked at the clock tower, acting as if he didn¡¯t care at all.

 CH 10

    Chapter 10: Public Sentencing


    His senior sister patted Yue Zhishi on the shoulder at the moment he softly sang that last phrase. He didn¡¯t realise something was wrong until she pushed away the microphone.


    He kept apologising afterwards, but she didn¡¯t think it was a big deal.


    ¡°Not many people would¡¯ve noticed it.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s stomach growled just as they were taking a break after finishing half the session with another song playing in the background. The senior only then remembered that he hadn¡¯t yet eaten and said, ¡°Ah, I forgot to remind you to bring some food.¡± She took out her own dinner from her bag. ¡°Do you want to have some of mine?¡±


    She pulled open the lid. Translucent dumplings stuffed with lamb and carrot, stir-fried prawns and sour and spicy cold noodles laid inside the box ¡ª but he couldn¡¯t eat any of them. Yue Zhishi declined, ¡°It¡¯s okay, senior. I¡¯ve already asked my desk mate to get me some food.¡±


    She thought he was just being polite, so she pushed a fork into his hand. Yue Zhishi had no choice but to admit that he was allergic to most of the food.


    He didn¡¯t tell her clearly what he was allergic to ¡ª Song Yu kept telling him again and again while they were at home not to tell other people the exact details of his possibly life-threatening allergy.


    ¡°I see.¡± The senior sister backed down. ¡°I did see you that time during the school opening ceremony. It was so scary, good thing nothing serious happened.¡±


    Yes. Good thing gege was there, Yue Zhishi thought.


    When the segment finally finished, she stuffed an apple into his hand, Yue Zhishi gratefully taking it.


    There were only ten minutes left until the night self-study class started. Pretty much everyone was already in their seats, with only the rostered student for cleaning duties still sweeping the floor. Yue Zhishi rushed into his seat and breathlessly said to Jiang Yufan, ¡°¡­I¡¯m exhausted.¡±


    The person in front of him, Hu Xuan, turned around. ¡°Le Le, we heard your live broadcast earlier!¡± She gave him a thumbs up and said in English, ¡°Nice!¡±


    Yue Zhishi was initially very happy, but then he slumped onto his desk. ¡°But I committed a big mistake today.¡±


    ¡°Hah, we couldn¡¯t tell at all.¡±


    A boy sitting in the third aisle interrupted and openly taunted, ¡°Who said we couldn¡¯t tell? I heard him. Yue Zhishi, did you purposefully keep the microphone on because you think you have a great singing voice?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was a bit confused by this direct attack. He usually had great relationships with people and would never have any grudges against anyone. He didn¡¯t understand where this came from.


    ¡°Ignore Zhang Chen,¡± Jiang Yufan said. He rolled his eyes at that side of the room. He explained, ¡°He¡¯s crazy. He¡¯s treating you like that because he likes a girl who likes you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi asked, ¡°The girl in class 3-11?¡±


    Jiang Yufan¡¯s face was filled with disdain. ¡°Yeah. Don¡¯t know how Zhang Chen found out about it. That guy kept running over to class 3-11 earlier and treated the girl like a goddess. Next thing he knows, she¡¯s confessing to you instead. It¡¯d be strange if he wasn¡¯t angry.¡±


    Yue Zhishi actually then turned to Zhang Chen and asked, very sincerely, ¡°Why are you angry?¡±


    Zhang Chen widened his eyes. ¡°Why am I¡­¡±


    ¡°Are you really hurt about it?¡± Yue Zhishi asked.


    He was honestly very curious. Zhang Chen completely lost his tongue, and Jiang Yufan collapsed in laughter next to him.


    Hu Xuan helped Yue Zhishi annoy Zhang Chen. ¡°I can smell the lemon on you from here. So sour.¡±


    Zhang Chen was burning with rage. ¡°Bullshit!¡±


    The class monitor slapped his desk and used his eyes to warn Zhang Chen. Seeing how angry Zhang Chen was, Yue Zhishi thought he must really like that girl and wanted to find an opportunity to explain that he didn¡¯t get together with her. Zhang Chen could still continuing to try.


    Besides, if this girl didn¡¯t work out, he could always find someone else to like.


    Jiang Yufan initially wanted to verbally spar some more but soon thought better of it. He turned around and whispered to Yue Zhishi, ¡°Le Le, I didn¡¯t end up buying that dinner bun you wanted even though I rushed over as soon as class ended. The store owner said they didn¡¯t have it today. But I bought this for you, dong dong dong dong!¡± He pulled out a self-heating instant rice meal from his desk.


    Yue Zhishi was very surprised, but he kept his voice down. ¡°What is this¡­¡± He suspiciously lifted it up for a look. ¡°Won¡¯t Teacher Wang catch and kick me out of class with this?¡±


    Jiang Yufan raised his index finger and knowingly wagged it back and forth. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ve heard from trustworthy sources that Old Wang won¡¯t be coming tonight. His car¡¯s not even at school anymore, and his thermos in the office is gone too.¡±


    ¡°But he said yesterday he¡¯ll be reviewing our papers.¡± Yue Zhishi remembered very clearly.


    Once the bell rang, Hu Xuan turned around again and whispered, ¡°It¡¯s true. I think Old Wang has something important on today. I went to teachers¡¯ office earlier to turn in some homework and he wasn¡¯t there. Besides, look¡­¡±


    She pointed at the podium. ¡°The class monitor¡¯s already sitting there. Old Wang¡¯s definitely not coming in.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve also bribed the class monitor for you and asked him to pretend he doesn¡¯t see anything later.¡± Jiang Yufan raised an eyebrow. ¡°What do you think? Isn¡¯t your Fan Bro dependable?¡±


    ¡°So amazing.¡± Yue Zhishi gave him two thumbs up before turning to look at the self-heating rice meal and its packaging. ¡°I¡¯ve never tried this stuff before.¡±


    ¡°Neither have I, but it should be the same as those self-heating hot pot meals.¡± Jiang Yufan shrugged. ¡°Pour some cold water in it, and it¡¯ll start heating up by itself.¡±


    ¡°Cool¡­¡± Yue Zhishi intently read the instructions. ¡°I¡¯ll find an excuse later to go the bathroom and eat while I¡¯m out.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it, everyone else eats in the classroom.¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head. ¡°Can¡¯t eat in the classroom.¡±


    They fiddled with it for a while and poured in some water like the instructions said to do. Yue Zhishi waited curiously and expectantly for his meal. It came with Sichuan shredded pork with garlic sauce, so it should hopefully taste good.


    The bell rang again, and the class monitor sitting in front declared, ¡°Teacher Wang has something to do today, so he¡¯s not coming.¡±


    The class burst with happiness, not quieting until the class monitor told them to tone it down. Yue Zhishi cheered up a little bit by how everything was going according to plan.


    ¡°I¡¯ll come out for a bit later, so let me try it too.¡± Jiang Yufan knocked his shoulder. ¡°I want to see what it tastes like.¡±


    Yue Zhishi gave him an OK sign. ¡°No problem, one bite for you and one bite for me¡­¡­.¡±


    He didn¡¯t get a chance to finish his sentence. He choked completely into silence, because the one person he¡¯d never imagined showing up walked into their classroom.


    The girls in the class whispered in surprise.


    ¡°Song Yu?¡±


    ¡°Wah, it really is Song Yu.¡±


    Jiang Yufan also jumped in surprise and hit Yue Zhishi¡¯s arm a few times. ¡°Shit, why is your brother here?¡±


    Song Yu walked to the podium without any expression on his face, hands completely empty. The class monitor looked like he¡¯d known earlier Song Yu would be coming, because he easily left his spot and went back to his seat. Song Yu silently undid the first button on his shirt and slightly rolled up his sleeves.


    Yue Zhishi had no idea what was happening, his face completely unable to cover his astonishment. His nearby classmates looked at him curiously, acting like an audience waiting for the show to begin.


    Standing at the stage, Song Yu lifted his head and looked at his audience. ¡°Teacher Wang is busy tonight and isn¡¯t able to be here. Since everyone is getting ready to face the high school entrance exam, he asked me to come and share some of my studying tips and experience.¡±


    His words sounded quite professional. Song Yu¡¯s facial expression and voice were also quite indifferent, but the younger school sisters sitting below listened with excitement.


    Even though the school campus has never officially elected who the school idol was, Song Yu¡¯s appearance would stand out no matter where he was. Once his naturally distant and elusive air and his halo of perfect grades were added in, it became an unimaginably good thing to have this kind of close contact during the night self-study class.


    A girl in the first row raised her head and enquired, ¡°Senior, how come Teacher Wang asked you to come?¡±


    Song Yu had a slight obsession with cleanliness and had a touch of OCD as well. His head was lowered as he straightened the chalk holder on the podium and didn¡¯t look up as he calmly replied, ¡°He used to be my class adviser.¡±


    ¡°The same class adviser?¡±


    ¡°Wah¡­ so cool.¡±


    ¡°Then we¡¯re related!¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t expect that they would both have the same class adviser. That means Wang Qian would¡¯ve gone directly to advising his class after Song Yu graduated junior high.


    But then again, every time their parents showed up, Aunt Rong was in charge of him and Uncle Song was in charge of Song Yu. Song Yu never mentioned it, so of course he wouldn¡¯t know.


    Song Yu directly went into the main topic. ¡°We¡¯ll focus on discussion for the first half of tonight. You guys can work on your homework for the second half, and if you need help, you can come and ask me.¡±


    Jiang Yufan coughed once, hinting to Yue Zhishi to look down. He passed his phone to him underneath their desks and showed him their class group chat without Teacher Wang. Pretty much all the classmates who¡¯d sneaked in their phones to class were chatting, new messages wildly and frantically popping up.


    [Is today the day the total level of our class¡¯s looks shoots up to the sky?!]


    [Senior Song Yu really is too hot, no wonder he¡¯s a constant guest on the confession wall]


    [You girls care too much for looks. You only know to look at hot guys, sheesh]


    [What look only at hot guys, we¡¯re more excited looking at pretty girls than you guys are]


    [@Joy Le Le, I still think you look better, we bros support you]


    [Gonna be a good show.]


    [@Joy Le Le did you already know he was coming?]


    How could he!?


    Jiang Yufan madly typed.


    [I can guarantee Le Le really didn¡¯t know. Both of us were thinking we¡¯d be stared at by the class monitor all night.]


    New content quickly bounced onto the screen.


    [I¡¯m so confused, he didn¡¯t tell you he¡¯d be substituting?]


    [Song Yu wouldn¡¯t make things difficult for Le Le right?]


    [Why be nervous if you didn¡¯t do anything wrong?]


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want to look anymore. He tilted his head away and just so happened to meet Song Yu¡¯s eyes. Song Yu often stared at people like a big cat, gaze cold and unfocused. Having met his eyes, Yue Zhishi quickly lowered his head, put away his manga and sketch books and pulled out his class notes, wanting to look like he was seriously studying.


    The class atmosphere was actually very quiet despite the group chat being fired up. Song Yu took a piece of chalk and started writing on the chalkboard.


    ¡°There¡¯s less than a year left until your high school entrance exam. The study plans for the next two semesters may end up changing your class rank, so you should first create a goal for yourself according to your own situation.¡±


    As he spoke, there was a weird hissing noise, almost like the noise a small train would make. Pretty much everyone heard it and started looking around to see where it came from.


    The noise started getting louder and louder.


    Song Yu¡¯s hand paused on the chalkboard. But he didn¡¯t turn around, pretended he didn¡¯t hear anything and continued writing the things he wanted to write.


    Everyone else was looking over to where the noise originated from. That¡¯s right, the noise came from Yue Zhishi. Or more accurately, from the self-heating instant rice meal hidden in Yue Zhishi¡¯s desk.


    Jiang Yufan looked over at Yue Zhishi and mouthed the word ¡®shit¡¯. He then scribbled something on some scratch paper before pushing it to Yue Zhishi.


    [You can post in the TIFU forum now¡­]

 CH 11

    Chapter 11: Self Destruction


    The noise from the self-heating instant rice meal grew louder and louder. Yue Zhishi whipped his head over to Jiang Yufan and mouthed, ¡°Why is it making noise??¡±


    Jiang Yufan wildly shook his head. He gestured and said silently, ¡°I don¡¯t know either¡­¡±


    Hu Xuan turned around and made the sign of the cross on her chest, giving silent tribute to Yue Zhishi.


    But it was almost as if Song Yu was completely isolated from the world. He didn¡¯t react and even finished drawing half a mind map on the chalkboard. The rest of the class behind him held back their laughter, mutely sitting in their seats with the sole accompaniment being the sounds from the rice bowl. They were like an audience in the Weiner Musikverein concert hall, their emotions rousing from the symphony.


    Not only that, this experience was 4D. Steaming hot mist and the smell of Sichuan shredded pork wafted from Yue Zhishi¡¯s desk.


    He¡¯d only wanted to secretly eat some dinner. But now, everyone ¨C including Song Yu who was in charge of the class ¨C knew he was preparing some food.


    Yue Zhishi completely gave up. He was already imagining the scene ¡ª he was going to be scolded and thrown out of class before being forced to kneel in the corridor to eat his cold meal.


    He felt like he was now someone who¡¯d seen the world. He could now go onto the Zhihu question boards and vividly answer the question of ¡®how did it feel to commit social suicide¡¯.


    Ten long minutes finally passed, and Song Yu turned around without any expression on his face. He placed the remaining half of the chalk stick onto the podium and said, ¡°These are the things I¡¯ll talk about.¡±


    The sounds from the instant rice started changing, turning squeaky and breathless like a balloon letting out air. The noise started to slowly droop and fade away, just like Yue Zhishi¡¯s head that was low enough it was almost touching his desk.


    ¡°The first part is to find your weakest area. You all know the bucket theory.¡± Song Yu said, walking away from the podium.


    The students right in front of the podium hurriedly put away their cellphones row by row, but they continued looking at Yue Zhishi and waited for the show to start.


    The rumoured younger brother bully actually came to lead class and just so happened to catch his younger brother sneaking food. It wouldn¡¯t make sense if he didn¡¯t teach him a good lesson.


    ¡°Systematically sorting out your wrong questions is an effective way to study. Don¡¯t be afraid of making mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. Only be afraid of constantly making the same mistakes. This could result in losing your class ranking points, so what you guys should do is try to reduce the frequency of making the same mistake.¡±


    He¡¯d already walked to Yue Zhishi¡¯s side by the time he finished speaking halfway and casually rested a slender hand onto his desk.


    He kept speaking smoothly and steadily, his topic going from how to correct wrong answers to tips on how to best gain points in mathematics, various ways like the substitution method etc. and etc. But Yue Zhishi, as an ostrich, couldn¡¯t absorb anything he listened to and could only hear his frantically beating heart.


    It looked like Song Yu was torturing him on purpose, choosing to speak right next to him and not moving away.


    ¡°¡­and that is how you should choose your answers. Now, use the examination questions you have on hand to try out the method of answering multiple choice questions I just talked about. You have ten minutes.¡± Song Yu finally looked down after he finished speaking. He gazed at Yue Zhishi who¡¯d been pretending to be dead and lightly rapped his knuckles against the desk.


    Yue Zhishi only then pitifully raised his head, his whole expression saying he knew he was wrong. He truthfully pulled out the instant rice meal hidden inside his desk.


    Song Yu raised an eyebrow and softly asked, ¡°Does it smell good?¡±


    Hearing this, nearby classmates couldn¡¯t hide their laughter anymore.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± Yue Zhishi very sincerely replied. He then quietly added, ¡°Only a little bit.¡±


    Jiang Yufan was an extremely loyal friend, and thinking Song Yu wanted to make things hard for Yue Zhishi, immediately explained, ¡°Senior, I bought it. I bought the wrong thing, blame me blame me. I¡¯m happy to write a self-criticism essay.¡±


    Seeing that Jiang Yufan wanted to pull all the responsibility onto himself, Yue Zhishi opened his mouth and said, ¡°No, I was the one who wanted to eat.¡±


    Zhang Chen wanted to rile things further. ¡°Senior, I saw the whole thing, it was Yue Zhishi who wanted it. They were acting suspiciously for a while, trying to look for ways to eat during class.¡±


    Jiang Yufan said angrily, ¡°As if you can talk! As if you¡¯ve never eaten food delivery before during class. Besides, he wasn¡¯t planning on eating in the classroom.¡±


    The two of them started arguing. Song Yu¡¯s gaze swept across the laughing students, every one of them eagerly waiting for him to give out a punishment. He finally calmly opened his mouth.


    ¡°Let¡¯s take this chance to explain to everyone how the self-heating rice mechanism works.¡±


    Zhang Chen couldn¡¯t believe his ears. This was entirely different from all the punishments he was expecting.


    Song Yu held up the instant rice meal and, ignoring the students¡¯ whispered discussion, said, ¡°Look at this.¡±


    ¡°There is a self-heating package in the lowest layer of the self-heating instant rice meal. The package contains quicklime, sodium carbonate, a mix of magnesium alloys and other chemical reactants. Quicklime is also known as calcium oxide and reacts when it comes into contact with water. It then turns into calcium hydroxide and releases a lot of heat. Sodium carbonate helps with that, and the magnesium alloy powder can also release heat through oxidation. After we pour in water, the self-heating pouch will start reacting and automatically heat up the food.¡±


    He looked down, met Yue Zhishi¡¯s surprised eyes and continued, ¡°But there is a possibility for this kind of self-heating fast food to explode. The included food are also often not fresh, so it¡¯s best to not eat it too often.¡±


    Song Yu placed the package down once he finished. He turned around and pointed at the chalkboard. ¡°I¡¯ve already written down the related chemical equations in the lower right hand corner. You can look at it if you¡¯re interested.¡±


    Yue Zhishi gazed at the board. So Song Yu had already known what was happening earlier and directly, quietly added the chemical equations.


    At first everyone just thought the whole situation was funny and wanted to watch the liveliness. Everyone was a bit stunned at how the the ¡®social suicide¡¯ suddenly turned into a chemistry lesson. Amazingly, they had actually already learned the chemical equations before ¡ª they¡¯d just never connected the science to their lives.


    ¡°After this example,¡± Song Yu said, leaning on the side of Yue Zhishi¡¯s desk, ¡°no one should forget that calcium oxide releases an exothermic reaction when it comes into contact with water.¡±


    Everyone unexpectedly collapsed into laughter. Zhang Chen was a bit unsatisfied, so he raised a hand, the expression on his face distasteful. ¡°Senior, then why was there sound? It was too funny.¡±


    This clearly was to bring everyone¡¯s attention back to the moment the instant rice started hissing by itself.


    Song Yu rested on the desk and chose to not answer directly. He looked at the other students. ¡°You guys should¡¯ve done some chemical experiments. Is there anyone who can tell me what kind of chemical reaction results in noise?¡±


    A girl quietly said, ¡°Sodium and water¡­¡±


    Song Yu nodded affirmatively at her. ¡°That¡¯s a very classic example. Many other chemical reactions also release sound.¡± He pointedly glanced at Zhang Chen. ¡°Nothing surprising about it.¡±


    Zhang Chen¡¯s face quickly fell. He could tell that Song Yu¡¯s words carried a faint touch of disdain.


    ¡°Other than the reaction itself, the very act of releasing heat will also produce a large amount of steam. The reactions colliding with each other will then also produce sound. This whole process includes many other reactions such as galvanic cells, which you guys will have yet to learn.¡±


    Song Yu lowered his head and gave him a look. ¡°I believe¡­ if fellow student Yue Zhishi was clear about this from the beginning, he wouldn¡¯t have chosen to heat up his instant rice meal in a quiet environment.¡±


    Fellow student Yue Zhishi.


    Yue Zhishi felt this way of calling him was a bit strange, but somehow, it also gave him a bit of pleasure.


    Even though Song Yu was still icy and calm, he clearly wasn¡¯t trying to blame him. Every word was related to chemistry, and yet everyone could hear his secret intention to clear Yue Zhishi from any wrongdoing.


    Yue Zhishi suddenly thought, his anonymous reply to the social suicide question can finally be edited with a single sentence: ¡°I¡¯m alive!¡± Actually, he could probably also reveal his identity.


    Just as he was dazing off, a wide hand suddenly descended on his head and quickly, lightly rubbed his fluffy hair. He didn¡¯t react in time when the hand disappeared from the top of his head, with one sentence drifting downwards.


    ¡°It¡¯ll get cold if you don¡¯t eat it soon.¡±


    The head touch came too abruptly, stunning the rest of the students.


    The rumour of a terrible brotherly relationship self-destructed under Song Yu¡¯s rare intimate contact.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t even lift his head. ¡°I¡¯ll eat outside.¡±


    He went outside as soon as he finished speaking, hands and feet a bit clumsy.


    The toilets were to the right of the stairs. Seeing that there was no one around, Yue Zhishi went inside. The quality of the fast food was fairly average ¡ª the rice was hard, and the accompanying meat was a bit too salty.


    He sat there in a daze while chewing his food. After he gulped down a bite, he raised a hand and touched the top of his head in bewilderment before putting another big spoonful into his mouth.


    He¡¯d been hungry long enough that his hunger disappeared long ago. After what just happened, Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t really eat. He didn¡¯t leave after he finished eating though, remembering that Jiang Yufan said he wanted a taste. But Jiang Yufan has always had a short memory, and he still didn¡¯t appear after five minutes had passed.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want to dawdle for long, considering that Song Yu was still in class. He quickly cleaned up and returned, and when he arrived at the classroom door, Song Yu was standing at the podium discussing the best way to review their English lessons. Yue Zhishi stood at the entrance and reported his presence, not going directly inside.


    Once he heard his voice, Song Yu nodded at him and  continued speaking as if nothing had happened.


    Yue Zhishi peacefully returned back to his seat and joined the rest of his classmates in listening. For the first half of the class, the Song Yu who didn¡¯t bring any learning materials spent only ten minutes drawing out his mind map before skilfully describing his train of logic to the class. His competent ability to explain his way of thinking overshadowed some teachers.


    ¡°We only have a limited amount of time. We¡¯ll stop here.¡± Song Yu leaned on one foot and looked at his watch. The first half of the night self-study session was almost over.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was a bit startled when he heard his name called. He immediately lifted his head and looked at his gege.


    Song Yu dipped his chin slightly towards the chalkboard. ¡°Wipe it down.¡±


    Yue Zhishi obediently nodded. ¡°Okay,¡± he said, standing up.


    Ever since he was small, Yue Zhishi was most afraid of Song Yu ignoring him, especially after he did something wrong. If Song Yu scolded him, or gave him something to do that could be considered as punishment, it meant that Song Yu wasn¡¯t actually angry.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t speak at all when he was truly angry.


    Both of them understood each other very well.


    ¡°No, don¡¯t wipe it yet.¡± A girl taking notes lifted her head. She wasn¡¯t really paying attention earlier when Song Yu was lecturing, so now she rushed to copy everything down. ¡°I haven¡¯t finished yet.¡± Other classmates chimed in, causing Yue Zhishi to hesitate.


    Song Yu coolly glanced at them. ¡°If you can use your phones to chat, then you can also use them to take photos.¡±


    Everyone was suddenly choked by this sentence, especially those who had just been chatting and gossiping in the group chat.


    The class bell rang, and Song Yu left the classroom. Yue Zhishi listened to him and went to clean the chalkboard, Jiang Yufan grabbing the other duster to help. ¡°Was that thing any good?¡±


    ¡°It was okay.¡± Yue Zhishi looked at him. ¡°I waited for you for five minutes, but you didn¡¯t come.¡±


    ¡°You spent so much time waiting for me? I was wondering why you took so long. I totally forgot.¡± Jiang Yufan rolled up his sleeves. ¡°That stupid idiot Zhang Chen even snipped at you again, saying you didn¡¯t dare come back because you were too embarrassed. I was so annoyed. That guy couldn¡¯t get a girl so he decided to take it out on other people.¡±


    Yue Zhishi focused on wiping the board clean. He didn¡¯t really care about what people said about him when he wasn¡¯t there. ¡°He¡¯s only going to be a bit mouthy for the next few days. If the person I liked ended up liking someone else, I definitely wouldn¡¯t be happy either.¡± The arm busily scrubbing down away the chalk marks suddenly froze. His eyes stopped on the few lines of chemical equations in the corner.


    They were the last remaining bits of the cleaning duty Song Yu gave to him.


    ¡°Do you have your phone on you?¡± He twisted his head to look at Jiang Yufan. He was clapping the dusters together.


    ¡°Yeah. Why?¡± Jiang Yufan directly offered it to him. ¡°Isn¡¯t it a bit late to think about taking a photo?¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t reply, quietly snapping a picture of the equations in the lower right corner.


    ¡°Thanks. Just send that to me.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    The classmates waiting to watch a show: Why did you bring in a dog??

 CH 12

    Chapter 12: Cheese Flavoured Yoghurt


    After wiping the chalkboard, Yue Zhishi was covered by chalk dust. He put down the duster and went to wash his hands at the bathroom. After cleaning his hands, he just so happened to bump into Song Yu, who was walking his way from the third floor¡¯s open corridor. His white shirt was glaringly obvious against a sea of blue.


    Song Yu was holding some mock exam questions and wasn¡¯t surprised to see him. He lifted his other hand and passed across a carton of cheese flavoured yoghurt.


    Yue Zhishi accepted it with both of his hands, eyes slightly widening. ¡°Is this for me?¡±


    ¡°Qin Yan wanted you to have it.¡± Song Yu quickened his footsteps away after he finished speaking.


    Yue Zhishi suddenly remembered that Song Yu had been showering and hadn¡¯t been around when he told Uncle and Aunt Rong of his new work at the broadcasting station. He chased after Song Yu and asked, ¡°Then did you know that Qin Yan gege asked me to help?¡±


    He said the words ¡¯Qin Yan gege¡¯ so sweetly and so obediently.


    Song Yu halted, and Yue Zhishi rammed straight into his back.


    So did he know or didn¡¯t he? He couldn¡¯t tell.


    ¡°And?¡± Song Yu didn¡¯t even look around. His speech came quickly, and it didn¡¯t seem like he was in a good mood.


    ¡°Ah? That¡¯s¡­ that¡¯s it.¡± Yue Zhishi started chasing after Song Yu again. ¡°Can I go home together with you tonight?¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t answer immediately. He didn¡¯t answer until just before he entered the classroom.


    ¡°Go home by yourself.¡±


    Yue Zhishi pressed his lips together in disappointment, following him inside.


    Everyone worked separately on their own tasks during the second half of the night self-study session. Song Yu sat at the podium and focused on his mock exam questions.


    At first, only one or two people dared to ask questions, but everyone soon realised Song Yu really was amazing ¡ª he only needed to look at a question once before giving out a concise and comprehensive explanation. It was very easy to follow his train of logic. More and more people started to head up to him, and of course, this included girls who were looking after their own selfish interests.


    ¡°How come you¡¯re not going up?¡± Jiang Yufan lightly tapped Yue Zhishi. ¡°We¡¯re going to need to line up to take numbers soon.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t bother to look up, seriously working on his physics homework. ¡°I can ask him anytime, no need to take the time away from everyone else.¡±


    ¡°True.¡± Jiang Yufan pondered over his words. It felt a bit purposefully benevolent, like an official wife generously giving the concubines time to spend with their husband.


    Yue Zhishi really did behave accordingly. He didn¡¯t go up to the podium even once during the entire rest of the session, and after he finished physics, he started working on his English assignment where he needed to fill in empty blanks in passages. He concentrated very earnestly, his face very low to his papers. His nose almost touched the desk.


    Song Yu passed back an assignment booklet after he finished explaining a question. When a different student came up to him, he glanced around the room before returning back to the student in front of him. His eyes caught onto the student¡¯s glasses, and the student looked quite shy.


    ¡°Your lenses are so thick,¡± Song Yu carelessly said, lowering his head to look at the new question. ¡°How many degrees?¡±


    The student who suddenly received this ¡®care¡¯ was a bit frightened by this attention, and cautiously pushed his glasses up his nose. ¡°Well¡­ six hundred.¡±


    Song Yu had already sketched out a rough guideline, writing out the main points on a scrap of paper. He didn¡¯t look like he wanted to explain further.


    ¡°Pay attention to your posture.¡± He returned the question back to the student.


    He glanced back again, and the Yue Zhishi who had been bending his head over his work was now sitting up, back as straight as if it was strapped to a piece of wood.


    The rest of the session finished very quickly, but a few students remained, wanting to ask questions. Even though Song Yu¡¯s face remained very icy, he still stayed for a little while longer.


    All the other students have all left for home, and Jiang Yufan had initially pulled Yue Zhishi away with him. But Yue Zhishi pretended that he was missing something, needed to look for it and told him to go first. There were less and less people, and after explaining the last question, Song Yu departed as well.


    He didn¡¯t say anything to him at all.


    But that¡¯s right, they weren¡¯t going home together anyway.


    Looking at the remaining students who lived on campus, Yue Zhishi hesitated for a second, but he decided to sit down and finish his remaining chemistry assignments. Whenever Yue Zhishi worked on his homework, he was particularly attentive; if there was a question he didn¡¯t know how to solve, his whole attention would be sucked in completely.


    ¡°Looks like it¡¯s going to rain.¡±


    ¡°Ah? I didn¡¯t bring an umbrella.¡±


    ¡°Close the window first, otherwise all the desks in the fourth section will be wet tomorrow.¡±


    Hearing this, Yue Zhishi went up to help close the window. It was raining heavily outside. The rain in this city never knew how to transition, and would always start like a storm whenever it rained. Big droplets of rain pattered on the glass, the noise clattering away into the room.


    Leaning onto the window, Yue Zhishi gazed across to the high school building¡¯s bright third floor before going back to his seat and continued working on his questions. Dormitory students with umbrellas partnered up with those who didn¡¯t and prepared to leave, with one female classmate offering to lend her umbrella to Yue Zhishi. He refused, thinking it wasn¡¯t right for a girl to get rained on while returning back to her dormitory.


    He thought the sudden shower would quickly disappear, but contrarily enough, the rain grew stronger the longer it stayed.


    The never-ending pitter pattering of rain almost concealed the sound of the bell. High school¡¯s advanced class 3 tended to stay long past the end of class, with some live in students remaining in class until 11pm.


    Qin Yan twirled his pen. ¡°I really can¡¯t do this question. Hey Song Yu, can you look at this for me¡­¡± He leaned his head over just in time to see Song Yu already packed and ready to leave. ¡°Wait, you¡¯re leaving so early today?¡±


    ¡°Yes, it¡¯s raining.¡±


    Qin Yan was confused. ¡°Is it strange for it to rain here?¡±


    Looking out the door and windows, Song Yu didn¡¯t reply. He could only see white shirts nearby. Qin Yan thought his expression was a bit unsightly and wanted to ask what was wrong, but Song Yu left before he could.


    The lights in the connecting corridor were still on, brightly leading the way to the dark junior high school building.


    Song Yu silently descended the building among the other high school year 3 students, the floor number changing from 5 to 4, then to 3. His footsteps slowed as he got closer, the people behind him shouldering past.


    Yue Zhishi sat with his legs straight out, the noisy rain blocking his awareness of his surroundings. It felt like he was in his own world. His brown hair softly reflected the light and looked like the softest part of the dark, rainy night.


    He touched the edges of the carton of yoghurt before carefully tearing off the cover in one piece. A layer of yoghurt remained on the plastic, almost like milk skin. He looked at it for a few seconds before he tentatively licked it.


    The yoghurt attached to the cover was always the tastiest bit.


    The usually light flavoured taste of the cheese spread in his mouth and was very sweet. Yue Zhishi used a straw and sucked up a large mouthful, his feelings of pleasure increasing with the rising levels of dopamine in his blood. He wanted to double check again to see if high school¡¯s class 3-5 were still studying, but when he looked over, Song Yu was already standing in front of him with an umbrella in his hand.


    Yue Zhishi froze. Traces of yoghurt were still smeared on his lips, making him look very silly.


    Song Yu stood there steadily, eyes a little cold. ¡°What are you doing here?¡±


    Yue Zhishi clutched his carton of yoghurt and didn¡¯t know how to answer. It wasn¡¯t as if he could tell Song Yu he waited here every day.


    ¡°I¡¯m just waiting for the rain to stop and thought I¡¯d spend the time memorising vocabulary.¡± He slowly drew back his long, straight legs. He¡¯d long rolled up the bottom of his pants in order to prevent them from getting drenched in the rain, pale narrow calves peeking out.


    Song Yu raised an eyebrow. ¡°And if it never stopped?¡±


    Yue Zhishi watched as the transparent sheets of rain blanketed the edges of the corridor and said to himself, ¡°It¡¯d eventually stop raining.¡±


    He stood up, pulling on the schoolbag on his back. He very weakly retorted, ¡°Then what are you doing here?¡±


    Didn¡¯t you say you weren¡¯t going home with me?


    ¡°I left a pen in your classroom.¡± Song Yu¡¯s face didn¡¯t change at all.


    Yue Zhishi believed him and immediately looked backwards. ¡°Then¡­ we¡¯ll go back and get it?¡±


    ¡°No need, the rain¡¯s so heavy.¡± Song Yu turned out. ¡°Let¡¯s just go home.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± Yue Zhishi quickly took a few steps forward to stand shoulder to shoulder with Song Yu. ¡°Then can I bring it to you tomorrow after I find it?¡±


    ¡°No need.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll definitely find it for you, I¡¯ll look for it early in the morning.¡±


    ¡°I said there¡¯s no need.¡±


    Yue Zhishi made a sound in response and didn¡¯t continue. They went down the stairs, the rain gaining strength as time passed and making them unable to ride their bikes. Song Yu held up the umbrella, and they stood by the road and waited for a taxi.


    Taxis were always difficult to find during rainy days ¡ª they would either not come, or several would come all in one go. They found themselves in the former scenario. Yue Zhishi was a bit hungry despite having just finished the yoghurt.


    Speaking of yoghurt¡­


    ¡°Ah, that¡¯s right. Can you tell Qin Yan gege thank you for me?¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t say anything. It looked like he had a small piece of dry skin on his lower lip. Song Yu kept licking it and didn¡¯t look too comfortable.


    ¡°That yoghurt he bought was really yummy, the cheese taste was strong.¡±


    Song Yu still didn¡¯t speak.


    Yue Zhishi added in a low voice, ¡°But it was a bit small.¡±


    The competent umbrella holding sculpture finally reacted, turning his head to look at him, and lightly opened his mouth: ¡°Follow me.¡±


    Almost as if he was afraid Yue Zhishi would refuse, Song Yu extended his hand out and grabbed Yue Zhishi¡¯s arm. The umbrella was very small and didn¡¯t quite cover the two of them together. Song Yu half pulled him into his arms as he walked into another direction and didn¡¯t drop his hand until he was sure Yue Zhishi was walking with him.


    ¡°We¡¯re not going home?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m hungry. Let¡¯s eat something first before going back.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m a bit hungry too.¡± Yue Zhishi was a bit happy about finding a common topic. ¡°That rice meal wasn¡¯t any good at all, I only ate a few spoonfuls.¡±


    They arrived at the school entrance¡¯s Grandma¡¯s Stewed Flavour as they were talking.


    This was the most famous restaurant near their school. The shop was completely full with no available seats ¡ª people could only eat while standing. There was often a crowd of people surrounding the front door. Grandma¡¯s Stewed Flavour was one of the city¡¯s specialty dishes: seaweed, lotus roots, dried and marinated beancurd sheets, quail eggs, beef tendons, duck intestines¡­ All kinds of ingredients were pierced with bamboo skewers before being stuffed into a fully packed big pot. They were then slowly simmered and stewed over low heat in a fragrant, spicy broth, until the flavour soaked deeply into the food.


    Yue Zhishi stood by the window and swallowed. The grandma inside saw him and kindly said, ¡°If you¡¯re here for a late night snack, we don¡¯t have much left, only these few skewers.¡±


    Song Yu, holding up the umbrella, said, ¡°Then two portions of the marinated beancurd sheets and seaweed please. And one portion for everything else.¡±


    The grandma neatly scooped everything into a paper bowl, pouring over some of the broth before passing it to Song Yu. She also gave them two pairs of chopsticks and some napkins. ¡°It¡¯s raining so hard, you should hurry and go home after you finish.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    Pretty much all of the high school students had left by now, the flow of people ebbing from the initial dense stream to a sparse, gradual dribble. All kinds of umbrellas overlapped in front of the school entrance, dying the dark, rainy night with colour.


    Heavy rain tended to collide and knock over the usual rules of life. Teenagers running in the rain with their school skirts and pants wet, or shy souls squeezing together underneath the same umbrella ¡ª they were all woven together into the same tight net by the universal rain.


    Song Yu and Yue Zhishi were the same as everyone else. They stood side by side underneath the roof, and even their shadows from far away looked damp.


    Yue Zhishi very seriously focused on his food, to the point where he forgot everything else. He always ate his favourite marinated beancurd sheets first. When he thought about it, the ingredient was named very aptly: plain beancurd sheets were sliced into connecting links before being deep fried. They would then be crunchy on the outside but soft on the inside. By the time they came out of the broth, little holes in the sheets would be filled with the soup, exploding in the mouth and filling the eater with satisfaction.


    ¡°So good.¡± The food was so hot Yue Zhishi needed to open his mouth and pant. After he swallowed the food in his mouth, he couldn¡¯t help but stuff in a mouthful of seaweed as well. The thick seaweed was soft, chewy and full of flavour after having been stewed for so long, and Yue Zhishi thought it tasted better than meat.


    Song Yu only ate a skewer of dried beancurd. Gullible Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t think anything was strange, happily eating until only one ham sausage skewer remained. He only then noticed he had eaten everything by himself.


    ¡°This one¡¯s for you.¡± He lifted the ham sausage and brought it to the corner of Song Yu¡¯s mouth. But Song Yu leaned his head slightly backwards and dodged his feeding.


    ¡°I¡¯m full.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± Yue Zhishi placed the entire sausage into his own mouth.


    Their luck turned for the better after they finished eating, an empty taxi driving past just as they threw away their paper bowl.


    The taxi had the radio on, volume not very loud. The female broadcaster¡¯s voice was very gentle. After Song Yu sat inside, he touched his left shoulder. His hand came away entirely wet, so he used the napkins from earlier and wiped himself down a few times.


    He heard Yue Zhishi say, ¡°Actually, today was my first time at the broadcasting station.¡±


    Those words were a continuation of what Yue Zhishi left unspoken at the bathroom. With the way his thought processes jumped around, it was most likely only Song Yu who could easily understand what Yue Zhishi wanted to say.


    ¡°I know.¡±


    Yue Zhishi turned his head around to look him. ¡°What?¡±


    How could he have known, Yue Zhishi had never mentioned it before.


    Maybe it was Aunt Rong? Or maybe Senior Qin Yan.


    Song Yu absentmindedly replied, ¡°I heard you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was suddenly so excited he leaned onto Song Yu¡¯s shoulder, just like a little dog who wanted to pounce on him. ¡°Really? You heard my voice?¡±


    The taxi driver glanced back at them through the rearview mirror. Song Yu pressed onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s animated head, said yes and told him to sit properly.


    Yue Zhishi was more delighted the more he thought about it. He¡¯d thought his gege didn¡¯t know about it at all, but he¡¯d actually heard the broadcast and could even tell it was his voice.


    He was now in great spirits, and even the song playing in the car was now especially nice to listen to.


    Song Yu turned his head to the side. The droplets of rain splashed onto the car windows, melting the bright lights of the city into a vague, dreamlike shape. The song lyrics mixed with the sounds of the rain, faintly rippling and flowing into the ears.


    [It wasn¡¯t the rainy day that was the most beautiful, it was the shelter I once shared with you in the rain.]


    ¡°What song is this?¡± Yue Zhishi quietly asked Song Yu.


    No response came for a while. He pulled Song Yu¡¯s sleeve and curiously called out gege.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± Song Yu thought about the title of the song and decided to lie.

 CH 13

    Chapter 13: Red Bean Rice Cake


    The weather in this city was forever unsteady. The never-ending summer heat needed only one night¡¯s worth of cold wind before it abruptly disappeared in one day.


    Yue Zhishi woke up early and heard the whistling wind outside. He thought it was just the early morning¡¯s low temperature and didn¡¯t think much about it, rushing to school in a daze. By the time  he finished two classes, the wind was much stronger than before. His body didn¡¯t have the ability to resist the sudden drop in temperature, so he kept sneezing repeatedly. The whole class went outside during a break, and Yue Zhishi followed with his arms wrapped around himself.


    ¡°Your body¡¯s too weak, my brother.¡± Jiang Yufan hit his hand. ¡°It¡¯s so cold, why don¡¯t you go home in the afternoon to get some clothes.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded, but then he shook his head straight after, suddenly thinking of something. ¡°It¡¯s Friday. The senior sister at the broadcasting station can¡¯t come today, so I have to temporarily work with another new person. We have to rehearse later.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s too bad. I can bring you some of my clothes?¡±


    Yue Zhishi sneezed and rubbed his nose. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it, might as don¡¯t go out. We don¡¯t have school tomorrow, I should be fine for just one day.¡±


    Jiang Yufan remembered something at this point. ¡°Oh that¡¯s right, Zhang Yameng just said it¡¯s her birthday tomorrow and invited our entire class to go KTV. Are you gonna go?


    Zhang Yameng was the most well liked girl in their class. Her father worked in the food business, and even though she was a bit spoiled, she was always warm-hearted towards everyone. She could be considered as the class¡¯s favourite. Yue Zhishi was also eye-catching, so a few classmates would always joke about the two of them, Zhang Yameng looking as if she also enjoyed the jokes. It was okay if it was just once or twice, but after too many times, Yue Zhishi wanted to hide and run away.


    ¡°I¡­¡± Yue Zhishi sneezed again, unable to finish his words.


    Coincidentally, Zhang Yameng was just walking over to them, and one skip brought her to Yue Zhishi¡¯s side. ¡°Yue Zhishi! You have to come tomorrow, I booked a really good restaurant.¡± Her two hands were clasped behind her back, and her smile was sweet and pretty. ¡°Everyone else already said yes. Our class can¡¯t miss even one person.¡±


    Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t able to say anything in time before Zhang Yameng quickly informed him of Saturday¡¯s entire itinerary in one go, not leaving space for anyone to interrupt. At the end, she even slightly, cutely begged, telling him he definitely had to come.


    It was a bit difficult rejecting someone directly to their face, especially when she was inviting the entire class. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want to go so he didn¡¯t promise anything, and listening to the gym teacher¡¯s arrangements, he headed straight to the end of the boys¡¯ team.


    He¡¯ll just text and say he¡¯s sick tomorrow.


    The music started playing, and the students all did their warm-up exercises.


    The students in the high school department were in front of the junior high¡¯s department. He gazed through the entire mass of bodies, his sight unconsciously arriving at the front. He saw Song Yu also standing at the very end of his class and sighed in relief. At least gege was wearing his winter uniform.


    But he wasn¡¯t wearing the western, suit-like uniform. Instead, he wore the black and white gym uniform that was constantly being ridiculed, the clothes big and loose on him and making him look even taller and skinnier than usual.


    Other schools always envied Peiya¡¯s school uniforms ¡ª the students were given four different sets. Their summer uniform was a shirt and tie, and the additions of a knitted vest and a suit outer coat completed their winter uniform. They also had a set of gym clothing and a set of thick winter-wear. The two school departments were naturally different colours. But because of this abundance of choice, chaotically mismatching uniform sets could always be seen on Peiya¡¯s campus.


    And even though the gym uniform was loose and unfitting on Song Yu¡¯s tall figure, he still stood out much more than other students.


    After they finished their last exercises, the students were all dismissed. Yue Zhishi realised that the change in partners tonight had yet to be reported to Qin Yan, so he started walking towards the high school department, hoping to use this time to quickly notify him before going back to class.


    Qin Yan saw Yue Zhishi running over from far away and stayed where he was to wait for him. He even pulled at Song Yu.


    After the class substitution last time, the rumour of their bad brotherly relationship had completely disappeared. However, the story of Yue Zhishi eating a self-heating instant rice meal during night self-study and being caught spread very quickly. In everyone¡¯s hearts, Song Yu was a difficult person to get along with, so being able to cover up something so ridiculous during his own class substitution was already a sign of an incredible, earth-shaking brotherly relationship.


    Yue Zhishi used the least amount of words possible to explain his situation, worried he would be taking up their time. The cold wind rushed past, blowing his curly hair into disarray. Goosebumps formed on his skin, and he shrivelled up just like a frail little mouse.


    ¡°Okay, I understand.¡± Qin Yan had sharp eyes. He saw a colourful bag peeking out of Yue Zhishi¡¯s pants pocket and reached out a hand to pull it out. ¡°What is this?¡±


    ¡°Skittles. I bought it from the supermarket,¡± Yue Zhushi said. ¡°I can give it to you if you want it, Qin Yan gege. The yoghurt from last time¡ª¡± He sneezed again.


    Qin Yan¡¯s attention was entirely on the skittles. ¡°So nice of you. I¡¯ll try a few pieces¡­¡± The bag in his hand was yet to be opened when it was snatched away by Song Yu. It flew through the air in a sharp parabolic arc before landing in Yue Zhishi¡¯s stunned hands.


    ¡°Try what? Time for class.¡± Song Yu dragged Qin Yan away.


    ¡°SYU! You just don¡¯t want to see other people treating me well!¡± Qin Yan was very unsatisfied at being dragged away, but he suddenly realised, ¡°Hey, wait, what yoghurt¡­¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re so noisy.¡± Song Yu frowned.


    Since the candy ended up not being given away, Yue Zhishi could only place it back in his pocket, rubbing the numb tip of his nose.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi.¡±


    Hearing Song Yu¡¯s voice, he lifted up his head and saw Song Yu zip open and take off his outer jacket in one smooth motion. The coat was quickly thrown over his head, covering him just like a mousetrap, before Yue Zhishi could react.


    ¡°Put it on.¡±


    Yue Zhishi hurriedly pulled the coat down from his head, but he only managed to catch the sight of Song Yu¡¯s back. He lowered his head, sized up the jacket in his hands and held it a bit further away to look at it before finally putting it on. He pulled the zipper up to the very top.


    The sleeves were very long.


    He could only see half his hands.


    He swung the sleeves around as he ran back to the classroom, just like a little chick fluttering its wings. The black and white colour of the high school department¡¯s uniform was glaringly obvious in the crowd of blue. Once he was back in class, Yue Zhishi suffered through rounds and rounds of teasing, everyone saying words like ¡®I¡¯m so envious¡¯.


    But Yue Zhishi found that he inexplicably enjoyed this teasing.


    The vicious wind outside was just as wild as before, the strange, whining noises drilling through the gaps in the metal window frames. Yue Zhishi held up his face with his pair of sleeve-covered hands and silently listened to the sounds, suddenly finding the wind noises quite cute, almost like the cries of a small baby demon.


    In order to rehearse their lines, he only ate a bowl of clear, tasteless rice porridge during lunch. He met his partner in the cafeteria and went back to rest in his classroom after they finished discussing their upcoming session. After he slumped onto his desk, Yue Zhishi placed his head on top of his arms, his entire being wrapped in the faint detergent fragrance of Song Yu¡¯s jacket.


    They clearly used the same detergent, but why didn¡¯t it feel the same?


    Song Yu was different from everyone else.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t feel too well the entire day and almost sneezed at the microphone when broadcasting, but he luckily managed to endure until class ended. Once the bell rang, Zhang Yameng pulled at him and pretended to ask him questions about their homework. After her question was answered, she suggested heading out together. ¡°Are you feeling a bit uncomfortable? You¡¯ll definitely get sick if you ride your bike through the wind. My driver is outside waiting for me, I can take you home.¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head and distanced himself from her. ¡°My home isn¡¯t the same direction as yours. It¡¯s very close by, I¡¯ll reach it after just a little bit.¡±


    Zhang Yameng kept insisting and even pulled on his arm. ¡°Don¡¯t be so polite, if it¡¯s close then it¡¯ll be even faster by car.¡±


    Yue Zhishi managed to take back his hand just in time to cough twice.


    ¡°I think it¡¯s meant to rain over the weekend. I don¡¯t want my bike to get rained on the next two days. Maybe next time.¡± He quickly walked away.


    It really wasn¡¯t easy to ride his bike during a cold day. The wind kept puffing up his jacket, the cold air mixing with the smell of sweet osmanthus flowers on his body as he rode by. Yue Zhishi was dizzy by the time he got home and made a lot of noise changing his shoes. Father Song was doing some work at the kitchen island and looked back once he heard the noise. ¡°Le Le?¡±


    ¡°Uncle.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice was stuffy.


    Song Jin could immediately tell something was wrong. ¡°Did you catch a cold?¡±


    When he saw Yue Zhishi come in wearing his son¡¯s uniform, Song Jin chuckled before returning back to his notebook. He said to himself, ¡°Song Yu does know how to act like an older brother after all.¡±


    ¡°Quickly come and have some sweet soup. Your Aunt Rong¡¯s been simmering this red bean and dried tangerine peel soup all night.¡±


    Yue Zhishi took down an unfinished volume of shounen manga from the bookcase before sitting down next to Song Jin. The red bean had been stewed to a soft and smooth paste, the sweetness from the crystal sugar just right. The soup was at a comfortable temperature, and it warmed Yue Zhishi¡¯s entire body after just one mouthful. The baked rice cake was fluffy and soft with a slightly crunchy shell. After soaking it in the red bean soup, one bite would pull out the centre of the rice cake, sticky and chewy. Happiness burst in Yue Zhishi as he ate while reading his manga.


    He didn¡¯t make any noise, seeing as Father Song was busy. He ate silently and grabbed another bowl after he finished his first. There was a roasting platter on top of the kitchen countertop, and freshly roasted spicy pork jerky rested in it. Yue Zhishi took two pieces and returned back to the kitchen island with his bowl.


    Song Jin closed his laptop after he finished his work. ¡°What are your plans for the weekend? Do you want to come fishing at Liangzi Lake with me? Your Aunt Rong is coming too.¡±


    Yue Zhishi licked the red bean soup off his lips. ¡°Is gege going?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s too busy. He¡¯s making a speech tomorrow for the city¡¯s Best Three Students election,¡± Lin Rong said, coming down the stairs.


    City¡¯s Best Three Students. Song Yu was the city¡¯s Best Three again. Yue Zhishi carefully chewed his jerky, his heart full of admiration. Song Jin wasn¡¯t aware of this at all and asked, ¡°There are so many requirements to elect the city¡¯s Best Three Students now?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I thought it was strange at first too, but I later heard from a friend that one of the children who won the award last year got in through different means and took up a spot.¡± Lin Rong sat in front of them with her own bowl. ¡°There was a child with better grades from their school who didn¡¯t get chosen. That child¡¯s parents were very unsatisfied and went to find the Department of Education. That¡¯s why the criteria this year is much stricter, and they even added this election speech requirement segment just in case.¡±


    Yue Zhishi immediately said, ¡°Song Yu gege will definitely get the award.¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡± Lin Rong laughed and patted his head. ¡°But it¡¯s fine even if he doesn¡¯t get it. Once you worry about winning or losing, it starts becoming too stressful.¡±


    ¡°Then I won¡¯t go fishing tomorrow.¡± Song Jin closed his notebook.


    Lin Rong held onto Song Jin¡¯s shoulder. ¡°No, your son has ordered that we¡¯re not allowed to come. We should just let him do what he wants.¡± She then looked at Yue Zhishi. ¡°What are you doing tomorrow, Le Le?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was holding a small porcelain bowl and, hearing her question, let out a long hum and sighed, ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±


    ¡°This little guy looks very busy,¡± Song Jin teased.


    Lin Rong curiously asked, ¡°What¡¯s got our little man all worried like this?¡±


    While they were talking, they heard the door open and the very familiar sound of someone putting down keys. All three of them looked over.


    ¡°Xiao Yu, quickly come have some sweet soup,¡± Lin Rong called out. She then returned back to their conversation. ¡°What were we saying? Tomorrow¡¯s date?¡±


    ¡°Not a date,¡± Yue Zhishi decisively denied. ¡°A classmate invited the entire class to a birthday party.¡±


    Song Yu left his schoolbag on the sofa and silently went to wash his hands in the kitchen. He then poured himself a cup of water before leaning back against the countertop, eyes looking at the three people at the kitchen island.


    Lin Rong wanted gossip, unlike a mother. ¡°Boy? Girl? Just a lunch?¡±


    ¡°Girl, Zhang Yameng.¡± Yue Zhishi replied without much care, brain full of other things. He knew Song Yu didn¡¯t like sweet things, so he extended out a hand and pointed at the pork jerky on the countertop. Song Yu turned around and looked at it, and when he turned back, Yue Zhishi was frowning and fighting to not sneeze.


    ¡°¡­Uncle should know her,¡± Yue Zhishi belatedly added.


    ¡°Ah, Zhang Pengyuan¡¯s daughter. I saw him earlier during some business meetings.¡± Song Jin drank some tea and casually said, ¡°You should go, weekends are meant for relaxing.¡±


    Song Yu slowly ate his piece of jerky with his head lowered. His eyes would occasionally glance upwards and meet Yue Zhishi¡¯s as he looked at him.


    As long as Song Yu was around, Yue Zhishi¡¯s line of sight tended to always circle around him, like a moon revolving around its planet. His light coloured eyes forever held the burning affection, feelings of worship, of longing¡­ everything a younger brother would feel towards his older brother.


    Lin Rong was still teasing. ¡°Is Zhang Pengyuan¡¯s daughter pretty?¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s quite beautiful,¡± Song Jin said.


    ¡°Really?¡± Lin Rong lightly smacked Yue Zhishi¡¯s arm and didn¡¯t have any of the strictness other parents would have towards their children¡¯s possible early dating. ¡°Does she have any intentions towards our Le Le?¡±


    ¡°Of course not.¡± Yue Zhishi frowned. He got up from his barstool, put his empty bowl into the sink and softly said to Song Yu who was still leaning there, ¡°Song Yu gege, your jacket¡­¡±


    ¡°You can just chuck it into the washing machine.¡± Song Yu finished eating the piece of jerky in his hands and moved away from the little gap he and Yue Zhishi were in from the kitchen island. He said good night to his parents and went upstairs.


    Song Jin started joking around again. ¡°Le Le, don¡¯t learn from your brother, his mouth is closed tighter than a metal bottle bonded shut. It never opens. He¡¯ll suffer in the future when he meets someone he likes. You¡¯ll have to learn from me if you want to chase a girl¡­¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s enough.¡± Lin Rong also got up. ¡°Don¡¯t listen to him brag.¡±


    ¡°How am I bragging? I put in so much effort when I chased you back then.¡±


    Yue Zhishi laughed and said he didn¡¯t want to watch their public displays of affection, turning around to go upstairs. He happened to notice the schoolbag Song Yu left on the couch, and a small light immediately lit up in his heart. He ran to pick up the bag, stomped up the stairs and excitedly went to knock on Song Yu¡¯s door as if he found some treasure.


    If someone¡¯s mood could materialise into reality, there would be a little wagging tail on Yue Zhishi¡¯s butt right now.


    He lifted his hand and lightly knocked twice with no reply. He knocked twice again, and there was still no one opening the door.


    Yue Zhishi could faintly hear the sound of water running from inside the room before it seemed to stop. He stuck his ear onto the door, his entire body leaning onto it, and wanted to carefully listen to the movements inside. But the door suddenly opened in an instant, and Yue Zhishi fell over, body completely unbalanced.


    He fell directly into someone¡¯s arms.


    Song Yu had just finished showering and was only wearing a bath towel. His hair was still wet, droplets of water dripping from the tips of his hair onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s forehead. Yue Zhishi was startled awake by the water drops and sprang away from Song Yu¡¯s body.


    ¡°Xiao Yu gege, your schoolbag¡­¡±


    Yue Zhishi looked fairly calm, but he¡¯d unconsciously gone back to his childhood nickname of Xiao Yu gege as a reflex, instead of the full name he now used after growing up.


    Song Yu took his bag and quietly said his thanks. Yue Zhishi had lost his train of thought, the words he wanted to say before coming upstairs entirely forgotten. He only wanted to run away and didn¡¯t know why. It¡¯s not like they haven¡¯t showered together before when they were younger.


    Even though that was a very, very long time ago.


    ¡°Good night I¡¯m going back to my room now.¡± Yue Zhishi had just lifted his legs to turn around when Song Yu grabbed the collar at the back of his neck, almost as if he was lifting a small chick.


    ¡°Wait.¡±


    Yue Zhishi obeyed and faced him, standing straight.


    Song Yu gestured with his chin. ¡°My jacket.¡±


    Yue Zhishi subconsciously lifted a hand to the zipper at the front of the jacket as soon as he heard Song Yu¡¯s words, but then he paused. ¡°Didn¡¯t you say to just put it in the washing machine?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re at my door already, may as well just take it off,¡± Song Yu calmly said.


    Yue Zhishi made a noise of understanding and pulled off the sports jacket. He then flipped it over Song Yu¡¯s torso, pulling both sides of the shoulders to hang just right, and covered Song Yu¡¯s entire upper body.


    Song Yu frowned. ¡°¡­What are you doing?¡±


    ¡°Worried you¡¯ll catch a cold.¡± Yue Zhishi sneezed once and then quickly escaped.


    The author has something to say:


    There¡¯s not a lot of twist and turns in this novel¡¯s relationship development, maybe just some sweetness and bitterness at the same time. Don¡¯t scare yourself thinking there¡¯ll be large amounts of knives! I also haven¡¯t included a ¡®breakup and then reunite¡¯ tag, but a side CP (very little scene time, will show up only occasionally) will soon show up with a little bit of pain (this storyline is from my first novel, and you¡¯ll see Song Yu¡¯s POV).


    This is a slice of life novel, so story beats won¡¯t be very fast. I wanted to write about the trivial little things in growing up and going through puberty. You can¡¯t rush it. Little Jade is a very cat-like person, he doesn¡¯t like getting close to people and likes to say one thing but do another. He¡¯s a bit tsundere, but he¡¯s the person who treats Le Le the best.

 CH 14

    Chapter 14: Half Sugar Milk Tea


    On Saturday morning, Yue Zhishi woke up earlier than he usually did and helped Lin Rong prepare breakfast. His slight cold from yesterday still lingered, and he coughed for a while after drinking some milk. He listened to Lin Rong¡¯s urging and took some flu medicine. After a little while, Song Yu came downstairs and departed after eating some pieces of shaomai. Yue Zhishi immediately left the kitchen once he heard the front door close.


    ¡°Aunt Rong, I¡¯m leaving now too.¡±


    Lin Rong hurriedly came out. ¡°You don¡¯t want to eat some more? Or are you guys going to a fancy place for lunch?¡± She noticed Yue Zhishi¡¯s deep black zip up hoodie and facial mask and said, ¡°Darling, are you going to someone¡¯s birthday party or to a fight?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m going to be late, can¡¯t talk!¡± Yue Zhishi gathered all of his stuff and ran out as fast as he could.


    This city¡¯s breakfast culture was engraved deep into each person¡¯s bones ¡ª it was always busiest during the early morning. No matter what street or alleyway, there would be breakfast stores of varying different sizes and their endless stream of customers waiting for their favourite meal.


    Small shops didn¡¯t have much space to begin with, so naturally there weren¡¯t many rules on where to sit or stand. People casually stood on the street with their bowls of food, chatting while they ate. Students rushing to go to class would even hold a bowl of dry noodles or beancurd and eat while they walked, finishing their meal right before they got onto their buses or trains. That was their unique ability to survive.


    Passing through a street full of smoke and chatter, Yue Zhishi finally saw Song Yu at the streetlights.


    Maybe because he needed to make a speech, he wore a formal black shirt tucked into his pants with the cuffs half rolled up. His long legs and narrow waist were even more obvious in this outfit, making him particularly conspicuous in the crowd.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want to attend his classmate¡¯s birthday party to begin with, so once he knew Song Yu needed to make a speech, there was almost no way he would¡¯ve attended the celebrations. But since Song Yu had refused to let even his parents come along, there was no way Yue Zhishi would¡¯ve been allowed either.


    So Yue Zhishi had no choice but to stoop to secretly following him. The venue should be full of people anyway, and there was no way Song Yu would be able to find him hidden in the midst of so many people.


    The light turned green, and the two people walked forward with ten metres of distance separating them into the subway station. Initially Yue Zhishi had worried Song Yu would call a taxi, but thankfully Song Yu decided to take public transport ¡ª or else he would¡¯ve been like one of the actors in the movies and have to tell his taxi driver to follow the car in front of them.


    Yue Zhishi managed to cram into the train carriage right behind Song Yu¡¯s at the very last moment. He hid behind an old man¡¯s head and peeked at Song Yu, the old man curiously following his gaze before turning back to look at him with a face full of suspicion.


    Yue Zhishi pulled up his hood and took half a step back. He then pulled out his phone and changed his cover from just hiding behind the old man to pretending to be another office worker browsing on his phone.


    The city¡¯s Line 2 carriages were all decorated with girly pink colours. Even the poles were pink, so Song Yu standing in the train with his black clothes had a very strange sense of subversion around him, like his own natural barrier isolating him to the rest of the world. Yue Zhishi kept looking over and didn¡¯t realise that he himself was also standing there with his own black clothes.


    They were pretty much two obvious little black dots in the midst of pink bubbles.


    The bubbles burst when the two little dots needed to exit. The older one was in front, with the younger one hid behind crowds of people as he followed. They got off at a subway station with many exits and just as many people. When going up the stairs, a young mother was in front of Yue Zhishi, and she was carrying a large backpack, one hand pulling an even larger suitcase and the other pulling at a three or four-year-old child. There were several times she needed to pause and rest.


    ¡°Ah really¡­ excuse me, please let me through.¡± A white collar office worker behind them said a few words, clearly annoyed, and detoured around the mother to keep rushing upwards.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± The young woman pulled her child closer and turned sideways. ¡°You guys can go first.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was initially very far back, but he had followed those hurrying to leave and had quickly climbed the stairs until he finally reached the young mother. ¡°Let me help you.¡± He directly lifted the suitcase and walked next to her. The young mother kept thanking him, and the child was also very cute, little face leaning over to say thank you.


    The stairs were very long. By the time Yue Zhishi reached the top, put down the suitcase and looked ahead, he already couldn¡¯t find Song Yu.


    Damnit, I completely forgot about following him.


    In his field of vision, people were hurrying about, the entire area in a panic. Yue Zhishi stretched out his neck and looked all around him, but was completely unable to find even Song Yu¡¯s shadow. He tried walking forward a little bit and turned around in circles again and again until he unexpectedly reached a chain milk tea store near the subway station exit. There was a lost and found counter next to the store, but unfortunately he didn¡¯t lose anything. There was no staff at the counter either.


    He¡¯d just lost the person he was following.


    Guess there was no way he can watch the speech now.


    Yue Zhishi tried very hard to cheer himself up and not let himself get too disappointed. Sweets were great at making people feel better, so he decided to buy a cup of milk tea before going home and pretending this trip was an early walk.


    ¡°Welcome, what would you like to order?¡±


    ¡°Hm¡­¡± Yue Zhishi looked at the menu. ¡°Green milk tea with pearls and coconut jelly, half sugar.¡±


    After he ordered, he reached into his pants pocket only to find it was empty.


    It seemed like he left his cellphone on the couch.


    Seeing the shop assistant was already busying around with his order, Yue Zhishi frantically searched his entire body, hoping he accidentally left some money in these clothes the last time he wore them.


    But no matter how he searched, his pockets were empty. At this very moment, he wished a big hand would appear behind him, pick him up and wildly shake him around just to have something fall out.


    The shop assistant pushed his milk tea towards him with both hands. ¡°Hi, here¡¯s your milk tea.¡±


    ¡°Ah, thank you.¡± Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know whether he should take the drink or not, his hand pausing in midair.


    A slight smile appeared on the shop assistant¡¯s face. ¡°How would you like to pay today? Cash, Alipay or WeChat?¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s ears started to heat up. It looked like he was seriously pondering his options, but in reality his entire brain was evaluating the possibility he would be allowed to return home to get some money before coming back. ¡°Uh¡­¡±


    ¡°WeChat.¡±


    A familiar voice came from behind him.


    He abruptly turned his head and saw Song Yu holding out a barcode on his phone, face cool. After he scanned his barcode, he took the milk tea, pushed through a straw and drank a big mouthful. He then turned around and left, acting as if Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t exist at all.


    ¡°Hey¡­¡± Yue Zhishi circled around him. ¡°My milk tea¡­¡±


    Song Yu frowned slightly, stopped and looked at the cup of milk tea in his hands with a bit of dislike. ¡°So sweet.¡±


    Is half sugar still considered sweet. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t make a noise and only watched as Song Yu extended out his hand and pushed the milk tea over. Yue Zhishi immediately took it with both hands and closely followed behind him. ¡°How come you¡¯re here?¡±


    Song Yu pointed at the counter next to the milk tea store behind him. ¡°Lost and found.¡±


    Yue Zhishi glanced over quickly before immediately turning back. He saw Song Yu raise an eyebrow and ask, ¡°Why were you following me?¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s words were momentarily caught in his throat. But he¡¯s never been able to hide anything from Song Yu, so he said, ¡°I just wanted to come have a look. I wouldn¡¯t have bothered you before going home by myself afterwards. You didn¡¯t let Uncle or Auntie come, so you definitely wouldn¡¯t have let me come with you either. I had no choice but to secretly follow you.¡± He then said in a small voice, ¡°Besides, you didn¡¯t even tell me.¡±


    They left the station together side by side, the bright sunlight falling onto their bodies and causing Song Yu to squint. ¡°Tell you what?¡±


    ¡°That you were participating in the city¡¯s Best Three election speech.¡± Yue Zhishi took a sip of his drink. ¡°I almost didn¡¯t find out.¡±


    Song Yu calmly said, ¡°I don¡¯t notify people who have prior engagements.¡±


    Yue Zhishi felt like Song Yu¡¯s words held a double meaning, but his first reaction was to deny them. ¡°I didn¡¯t!¡± He got a bit angry at the reminder and stubbornly, straightforwardly continued on, ¡°I didn¡¯t say I would go. Song Yu gege, you always misunderstand me, just like last time at the school infirmary¡­¡±


    A bicycle raced past the sidewalk where they were walking. Song Yu¡¯s eagle eyes saw the bike coming and swiftly grabbed Yue Zhishi¡¯s forearm to pull him towards his body in order to dodge the danger.


    ¡°I know.¡± Song Yu let go of his arm. ¡°Watch the road, you little social butterfly.¡±


    Song Yu was mocking him, right. He has to be.


    Just as Yue Zhishi was about to explode from anger, Song Yu said, ¡°Next time you stalk me, make sure you bring your cellphone.¡±


    Song Yu gazed at the faraway traffic lights and stepped forward when the lights changed colour. ¡°I won¡¯t look for you if you get lost again.¡±


    Hearing the word ¡®again¡¯, Yue Zhishi¡¯s anger completely disappeared.


    When he was five-years-old, he once followed Song Yu to the park to play. He had wanted to eat some ice cream, so Song Yu had gone with him to buy some for him. A man selling balloons had passed by, hand holding a bunch of beautiful balloons. A fish-shaped balloon had caught Yue Zhishi¡¯s attention, and he¡¯d followed behind that man. By the time Song Yu finished paying and turned around, Yue Zhishi had completely disappeared.


    If Song Yu hadn¡¯t found a park worker to broadcast Yue Zhishi¡¯s name, it was unknown if Yue Zhishi could¡¯ve been found.


    That experience taught Yue Zhishi the fear of getting lost and being alone. But he didn¡¯t actually know what kind of memory it left for Song Yu.


    He only remembered that when the park worker held his hand and brought him to meet his gege, Song Yu¡¯s face was still wet from his tears.


    That was the first time, and only time, he saw Song Yu cry.


    The city¡¯s Youth Association Auditorium was chosen to be the venue for the day. Workers sat at the entrance to check people in, everyone lining up to enter. A pair of parents accompanying their daughter stood in front of Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°We¡¯re her family. Yes, we¡¯re her mom and dad.¡±


    After they left, the worker looked at the two of them, staring especially at Yue Zhishi¡¯s face for a few seconds.


    Song Yu produced his identification, and the worker nodded before pointing at Yue Zhishi. ¡°And this is your¡­?¡±


    ¡°Family member,¡± Song Yu said.


    Yue Zhishi thought about that pair of parents. They were the real family, and he actually couldn¡¯t be considered as part of Song Yu¡¯s. But it felt like there was no better way to describe him ¡ª if Song Yu said he was his younger brother, that even narrower description would fit even less.


    The worker¡¯s face was slightly suspicious, but he nodded his head anyway and gave Yue Zhishi an observer pass. ¡°After you go in, the volunteers will lead you to your seat.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi sat in the back, surrounded mostly by parents. His presence was particularly noticeable.


    After Song Yu helped settle him in, he prepared to leave the spectator seats to head towards his own area. Yue Zhishi saw two people appear behind Song Yu, both of them good-looking. The one on the left was especially handsome, and two small tiger teeth peeped out when he smiled. He looked particularly bright, his good lucks and aura completely opposite of Song Yu.


    That person soundlessly walked to Song Yu¡¯s side and bumped his shoulder with his own. ¡°I haven¡¯t seen you in a while!¡±


    Song Yu looked over, face unmoving. ¡°Xia Zhixu.¡± He then glanced further backwards and noticed the refined and clean looking boy standing next to Xia Zhixu. He nodded, and the boy returned the same motion.


    They greeted each other so peacefully.


    ¡°You and Xu Qichen both came. Jingjian took up two spots with one class?¡± Song Yu asked.


    ¡°Don¡¯t recklessly accuse people~ Qichen and I split up in 2nd year, he¡¯s humanities stream and I¡¯m science stream. If other people heard what you said, they¡¯ll think our Jingjian High was shady,¡± Xia Zhixu said, holding familiarly onto Xu Qichen. ¡°But we were in 1st year last time I saw you in the high school basketball tournament, so it makes sense you don¡¯t know about us separating.¡± He moved his gaze to Yue Zhishi after he finished speaking, his face still carrying a smile.


    Yue Zhishi could feel the interest in that gaze. He stood up from his seat. ¡°Hi, senior.¡±


    ¡°This is¡­¡± Xia Zhixu looked at Song Yu and waited for a response.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t wait for Song Yu to reply and mimicked what he said earlier. ¡°I¡¯m his family member.¡±


    He sneaked a look at Song Yu right after, but he couldn¡¯t catch anything from his expression.


    ¡°Family member?¡± Xia Zhixu found something funny in those words and didn¡¯t refrain from laughing until Xu Qichen nudged him with an arm. ¡°Sorry, my thoughts just went a bit skewed. It¡¯s just that the two of you don¡¯t look similar at all. This little brother should be mixed, right? He¡¯s so pale, and his eyes are so pretty.¡±


    He looked at Song Yu as he spoke, words probing. ¡°Maternal cousin? Or paternal cousin? Don¡¯t tell me he¡¯s a child from your next-door neighbour.¡±


    ¡°I live with his family,¡± Yue Zhishi rushed to answer. But his thoughts were still stuck on the part of the conversation he didn¡¯t understand, so he frankly asked, ¡°What skewed thing did you think of?¡±


    Song Yu gave him a look, and Yue Zhishi added a ¡®senior¡¯.


    ¡°Well¡­ you know.¡± Xia Zhixu attempted to change the topic of conversation. He quickly looked at Song Yu before turning to say to Xu Qichen, ¡°It would be great if I had such a cute little brother. I¡¯ve always wanted one.¡±


    Yue Zhishi said he wasn¡¯t Song Yu¡¯s little brother, but unexpectedly, no one responded. The silent Xu Qichen suddenly spoke to Xia Zhixu, ¡°Me too.¡±


    The topic of little brother seemed to be unavoidable. Yue Zhishi gave up trying to explain.


    Xu Qichen looked at him with a slight smile on his delicate, pretty face. ¡°You still haven¡¯t said your name.¡±


    Yue Zhishi kept thinking this older brother¡¯s eyes were quite hazy, almost like those characters in manga with sad backstories. His brain hunted for a better description for a few seconds. The word ¡®melancholy¡¯ seemed more appropriate.


    Seeing how Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t immediately respond, Xu Qichen introduced himself again and even reached out a hand. This was quite serious to Yue Zhishi, as there weren¡¯t many 3rd year high school seniors who would introduce themselves like this to a junior high school student.


    He immediately held his hand and honestly confessed, ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I got a bit distracted just then.¡± He then replied, ¡°I¡¯m Yue Zhishi.¡±


    Xu Qichen lightly repeated his name, the smile in his eyes growing deeper. ¡°Good rain knows the right season.¡±


    ¡°I like that verse too, but I wasn¡¯t born while it was raining,¡± Yue Zhishi said.


    Song Yu glanced at him.


    You weren¡¯t born while it was raining, but you arrived here in the rain.


    Xia Zhixu interrupted them. ¡°You really need to stop analysing people like you always do. If I have to say,¡± he said, pointing at Yue Zhishi. ¡°You two are ¡®stones from other hills¡¯,¡± and then pointed at Song Yu, ¡°¡®may polish jade¡¯!¡±


    Yue Zhishi widened his eyes. It felt as if he understood something incredible and was very happy about it.


    ¡°What are you babbling about.¡± Song Yu used the upcoming speeches to stall Xia Zhixu¡¯s follow-up teasing, and the three of prepared to leave, leaving behind Yue Zhishi who was still enjoying Xia Zhixu¡¯s words.


    ¡°Just sit here. Don¡¯t go anywhere,¡± Song Yu said before leaving.


    Yue Zhishi sent them off and then returned to his seat. Xia Zhixu and Xu Qichen walked very closely together, arm brushing against arm. They looked like the popsicles he used to eat when he was younger, two sticks stuck together needing to be split in half before they were willing to separate.


    He looked at Song Yu again. He was the one solitary stick left by himself after being split in half.


    The election speeches weren¡¯t as exciting as he imagined. Everyone simply went up the stage and said the things they prepared. The city¡¯s Best Three were all very talented students, and this included Xia Zhixu and Xu Qichen. One spoke with a natural, sunny disposition that tended to be well-liked, and the other spoke slowly and gently, encouraging the audience¡¯s desire to continue listening.


    But in Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes, Song Yu was different from everyone else as soon as he went up. He couldn¡¯t say where he was different ¡ª it just felt that even the lights from the stage naturally gathered on his shoulders.


    The examination committee sitting below the stage didn¡¯t have many reactions. Once the final student finished their speech, they informed the students that the results would be released within two weeks.


    The whole process took up the entire morning. Yue Zhishi¡¯s legs were a bit numb from sitting so long, and his throat wasn¡¯t too comfortable either from forcing down the sounds of his coughing.


    It was close to 11:30am. The audience slowly dispersed, and Song Yu walked towards him from the front with the other two boys from before.


    It suddenly began to rain heavily outside, and all four of them didn¡¯t have umbrellas. No one could stay in the venue, so Xia Zhixu suggested heading across the street to eat in the Japanese restaurant in order to possibly wait out the rain.


    ¡°We¡¯ll rush ahead first!¡± Xia Zhixu took off his outer jacket and very naturally covered Xu Qichen¡¯s head with it, his hand pulling Xu Qichen into his arms and holding onto his shoulder as they rushed into the rain.


    Watching this entire process, Yue Zhishi was strangely hypnotised and wanted to imitate those actions. He unzipped his hoodie, took it off and gave it to Song Yu.


    Song Yu frowned and looked like he didn¡¯t understand his movements. ¡°What is this for?¡±


    ¡°To be like them.¡± Yue Zhishi gazed at him, his tone pure and simple. The look on his face said, I have a jacket too, I can block the rain for you.


    ¡°We¡¯re not like them.¡± Song Yu stood under the roof and didn¡¯t stretch out his hand to take the hoodie.


    ¡°Why?¡± A childish naivety unintentionally appeared in Yue Zhishi¡¯s large eyes. He attempted to understand the reason for Song Yu¡¯s refusal. ¡°Is it because they¡¯re friends, and we¡¯re brothers?¡±


    Song Yu took the hoodie and grabbed Yue Zhishi¡¯s arms to pull them through the hoodie. He then even adjusted the hood to sit nicely on top of Yue Zhishi¡¯s head. His right hand slid down the top of Yue Zhishi¡¯s head, before the back of his hand stopped at his forehead for two seconds.


    ¡°They¡¯re not friends. We¡¯re not brothers either.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Xia Zhixu and Xu Qichen are the main characters in my first novel ( BE Crazy Demon Survival System ). You don¡¯t have to read it to understand this novel, they only cameo and provide an important assist to the gong. They don¡¯t have many scenes, and even those scenes are pretty sporadic. (But in saying that, in this chapter they¡¯re still in the hotly crushing on each other phase in their relationship)

 CH 15

    Chapter 15: Special Friendship


    Yue Zhishi noticed, from a very young age, that Song Yu always tended to say things he couldn¡¯t understand.


    And he would always try his best to figure out the true meaning behind Song Yu¡¯s words no matter how many times it happened. This time, he was fully lost in his thoughts as they looked through the menu to order, and Xia Zhixu, who was sitting across from him, had to call his name several times to catch his attention.


    ¡°What?¡±


    Xia Zhixu chuckled. ¡°Do you want something to drink?¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head. ¡°I just had a milk tea.¡±


    ¡°I see.¡± Xia Zhixu looked down at the menu. ¡°Then I¡¯ll have two lemon-lime cokes. This daifuku looks pretty good, let¡¯s have one portion. And this castella cake and matcha red bean dorayaki¡­¡±


    Song Yu stopped him. ¡°Are you here to eat Japanese food or dessert?¡±


    Xia Zhixu held onto the menu and laughed. ¡°Xu Qichen has low blood sugar, so he¡¯s really good with sweet things. I¡¯ve gotten into a habit after eating with him so many times, sorry, sorry.¡±


    He then passed the menu to Yue Zhishi. ¡°Le Le, is there something you want to try? The ramen here isn¡¯t bad.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s allergic to wheat so he can¡¯t eat wheat noodles.¡± Song Yu glanced over the menu and, deciding by himself, picked out some items he thought Yue Zhishi wouldn¡¯t mind out of the things Yue Zhishi could eat.


    ¡°That¡¯s so sad.¡± Xia Zhixu counted all the things he could think of that was made of wheat. ¡°Then you can¡¯t even drink beer.¡±


    ¡°Underage people obviously can¡¯t drink.¡± Xu Qichen poured a cup of barley tea and sent it over to Yue Zhishi before he looked at him with a slight smile. ¡°The daifuku doesn¡¯t have any wheat in it. It¡¯s a glutinous rice flour skin wrapped around some fruit and cream. You might like it.¡±


    Yue Zhishi smiled as well. ¡°Yes, I like glutinous rice.¡±


    Actually, Yue Zhishi quite liked these two seniors even though they weren¡¯t from the same school as him. This may have been their first meeting, but their words, even the way they looked at him, didn¡¯t contain any excessive curiosity or intention to probe his moods. Their interactions with him were balanced very delicately, and it let Yue Zhishi feel very comfortable around them.


    The server brought over two lemon-lime cokes with a pair of glass cups with ice. Xia Zhixu thanked her, and rather than giving Xu Qichen a glass immediately, he started pouring all the ice in one into the other.


    Xu Qichen looked very unsatisfied by his actions, but he only expressed his dissatisfaction by frowning at Xia Zhixu.


    ¡°I can leave you a piece?¡± Xia Zhixu turned his wrist and slid a remaining piece of ice backwards, the glass tinkling as the ice fell back down. ¡°You should drink less cold things since you¡¯ll be eating spicy stuff later. It¡¯ll be bad if your stomach started hurting.¡±


    Xu Qichen didn¡¯t respond. After Xia Zhixu finished speaking, he poured the soda into the glasses and then placed the glass with one piece of ice next to Xu Qichen¡¯s hand.


    Yue Zhishi watched them the entire time, his heart a little puzzled and uncertain. He wasn¡¯t even sure why he was puzzled. He had friends, like Jiang Yufan, and he had seen friends interact with each other before too. But there was something different about the two people in front of him.


    It felt like there were transparent pieces of silk between them tying them together. Fingers to fingers, mouths to mouths, eyebrows to eyebrows ¡ª there was nowhere the silk didn¡¯t touch. The strings twined along their bodies so that if one person moved, the other¡¯s whole body would move with him.


    So strange. But compared to this intriguing relationship, Yue Zhishi thought it was more unusual for him to even notice it.


    Xia Zhixu took a sip of his coke, and his face squeezed together from the sourness of the lemon-lime. He looked at Song Yu. ¡°You did pretty well on the mid-semester entrance exam. I heard your math score was super high.¡±


    ¡°It was okay.¡± Song Yu started talking to him about their studies while Xu Qichen quietly ate his bowl of ramen.


    A server brought over a platter with six different types of grilled sushi. Yue Zhishi picked up a piece of Song Yu¡¯s favourite sweet shrimp sushi and placed it into his bowl, while he himself ate a piece of avocado sushi. The finely sliced avocado was decorated with soy sauce and salad dressing, and it covered the firm and sweetly sour rice ball. Even though it was vegetarian, there was a smooth and milky flavour to the avocado after being torched by a flame gun. It carried a slightly burnt caramel taste, melting away after entering the mouth.


    ¡°Is it good?¡± Xu Qichen asked.


    Yue Zhishi nodded while chewing. Seeing Xia Zhixu also pick up a piece for Xu Qichen, he said, ¡°You¡¯ll understand after you try it. Eat more.¡±


    Xu Qichen then said, ¡°Le Le eats his food really well.¡±


    Yue Zhishi swallowed the food in his mouth. ¡°It¡¯s because I¡¯m allergic to so many things. I already have less to eat than other people, so I have to seriously enjoy what I¡¯m eating, and eat more of it, so I don¡¯t end up with less than other people.¡±


    Song Yu sipped his tea. ¡°Even gluttonous people have their own reasonings.¡±


    Xia Zhixu actually quite agreed with Yue Zhishi¡¯s way of thinking and touched his cup to Yue Zhishi¡¯s in a cheer. His tiger teeth peeped out with his smile. ¡°I like this reasoning. People who respect and enjoy delicious food are all especially cute.¡±


    Song Yu poured a cup of hot tea again and pushed it to Yue Zhishi to drink it. But he wanted to leave space in his stomach for food, so he responded with a few noises and left it until it was half cold. Song Yu ended up drinking it for him before pouring him a new cup. ¡°If you don¡¯t drink this one, you¡¯re not allowed to have a single bite of dessert.¡±


    Yue Zhishi had no choice but to swallow his mouthful of crab meat tamagoyaki, lifting the tea cup with both hands to finish it with small sips.


    ¡°You¡¯re so fierce as an older brother.¡± Xia Zhixu gave Yue Zhishi a piece of grilled foie gras sushi. ¡°Le Le, eat this one with a slice of apple. It¡¯s pretty yummy.¡±


    Yue Zhishi said thank you and ate the piece according to Xia Zhixu¡¯s suggestion. He usually didn¡¯t like eating animal livers and would also refuse to eat foie gras in Lin Rong¡¯s restaurant. In this sort of situation, he felt it wasn¡¯t quite right to refuse. But once he ate it, the taste in his mouth was completely different from what he expected.


    The foie gras was very soft and buttery, almost like a dense piece of heavy cheesecake. The taste of animal fat mixed with black pepper and rock salt resulted in a very rich, full flavour, and the slice of apple managed to reduce the greasiness very well. When paired with fresh, tangy rice, it was surprisingly very delicious.


    ¡°So good.¡± Yue Zhishi lifted his head to smile at Xia Zhixu, eyes bright.


    ¡°See, I didn¡¯t lie to you.¡±


    Sure enough, preconceived biases can often create missed opportunities and regret.


    As he focused solely on eating, the three high school 3rd year students moved on from the election speeches to talking about the university entrance examination. It looked like this was also an unavoidable conversation topic.


    Hearing them talk, Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but interrupt. ¡°Senior Xia, do you know what you want to study?¡±


    Xia Zhixu slightly moved his head in thought after being asked this sudden question. ¡°I actually quite want to learn computer programming. As to where I want to study¡­¡± He leaned onto Xu Qichen¡¯s shoulder. ¡°We¡¯ve already agreed I¡¯ll go where he goes. We should be going to Beijing.¡±


    Xu Qichen put down the chawanmushi in his hands and softly smacked aside Xia Zhixu¡¯s head on his shoulder. ¡°Who agreed with you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi noticed his ears were turning red.


    He looked over at Song Yu. ¡°What about you, Song Yu gege?¡±


    Song Yu lowered his eyes. ¡°I haven¡¯t thought about it.¡±


    Assorted types of tempura was brought out to them, the entire basket crispy and fragrant. Deep fried shrimp, crab legs, pumpkin, squid and mushrooms¡­ Yue Zhishi wanted to stuff everything in his mouth just by looking at them. Freshly deep fried food was the best in today¡¯s cold and damp weather, but sadly this Japanese restaurant used wheat flour as their tempura coating. He couldn¡¯t eat a single piece.


    Xia Zhixu laughed after he heard Song Yu¡¯s response. He said, ¡°Don¡¯t at least a third of your Peiya¡¯s students go overseas to study every year?¡±


    Song Yu said, ¡°Not that much.¡±


    Xu Qichen also asked, ¡°Are you going overseas? Are you also preparing for overseas entrance exams?¡±


    ¡°Nothing¡¯s finalised yet.¡± Song Yu¡¯s answer was very unclear.


    Hearing the word ¡®overseas¡¯, the Yue Zhishi who had been suffering from not being able to eat the tempura became even more depressed. So Song Yu could possibly go overseas for university? How many years did overseas universities take to complete? Did that mean Song Yu could only come back during school holidays? How many days of vacation would he have in one year?


    In just a few short seconds, he imagined himself going through high school alone by himself, while Song Yu attended university parties overseas.


    ¡°Why are you zoning out? Not eating anymore?¡± Song Yu asked.


    Yue Zhishi shook his head. ¡°I¡¯m still eating.¡± He gave Song Yu a piece of shrimp tempura, while he took a small portion of seaweed with his chopsticks.


    ¡°Le Le¡¯s about to start high school, right?¡± Xu Qichen asked.


    ¡°Come to our Jingjian,¡± Xia Zhixu wheedled. ¡°Our cafeteria¡¯s fantastic.¡±


    But Yue Zhishi said, ¡°Peiya doesn¡¯t do remedial classes, and we have lots of activities outside of class.¡±


    ¡°True, I wouldn¡¯t want to do remedial classes either.¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought, no matter which high school he went to, he would have to separate from Song Yu anyway no matter where he went for university. They wouldn¡¯t be able to see each other every day, and if Song Yu really did go overseas, several years would pass with Yue Zhishi not knowing when he¡¯d be able to see Song Yu again.


    He became unhappier the more he thought about it, until he finally couldn¡¯t eat. It¡¯d been raining for at least two hours by now, and it looked like it was clearing up. Xia Zhixu didn¡¯t allow anyone else to pay the bill, saying he must have Song Yu owing him a meal and would find another opportunity to have this debt repaid. Song Yu didn¡¯t reject him either and stood at the back with Yue Zhishi to wait for them.


    His line of vision unconsciously moved forward. Song Yu saw Xia Zhixu leaning on the front desk, Xu Qichen standing beside him and only centimetres away. Their two hands were hanging next to their bodies, and the back of their hands seemed to graze against each other¡¯s, fingertips almost interlocking, before they separated the next moment. Xia Zhixu rubbed his hand against the seam of his pants and then very unnaturally, with difficulty, stuffed his hand into his shirt pocket. Xu Qichen¡¯s fingers curled into the palm of his hand, and then he moved back a little, his face falling.


    Song Yu moved his eyes over and looked at Yue Zhishi. He would usually have a face full of satisfaction after he ate some delicious food, but he was so dispirited today. Song Yu thought for a while, and then opened his mouth, saying, ¡°The tempura today was pretty average.¡±


    Yue Zhishi lifted his head, his pair of big eyes shining clear and bright under the store lights.


    Song Yu also said, ¡°We still have the rice flour from last time. Let¡¯s make some tempura at home tomorrow.¡±


    If this has been in the past, Yue Zhishi would definitely smile and say okay with a face full of expectation. But today, even though Song Yu said it so openly, Yue Zhishi only nodded and faced the glass doors to look at the street outside.


    Song Yu frowned, but the other two returned after finalising the bill. Xia Zhixu even teased, ¡°Seeing how you have to suffer so deeply being here, let¡¯s go.¡±


    One pair of them lived in Hankou, and the other pair lived in Wuchang. The direction to each place was different, so they left each other after entering the station. Song Yu led Yue Zhishi onto the right train to go home. There were a lot less people on the subway compared to before, but there were still no available seats. Song Yu looked for an empty grab handle after they got in and told Yue Zhishi to lean against one of the nearby poles.


    The train started to move, the advertisements outside the window flashing past at a speed dazzling to the eyes. Yue Zhishi gazed at his and Song Yu¡¯s reflections in the glass window. Their height different was more than half a head.


    Yue Zhishi silently wondered, weren¡¯t mixed race children meant to be tall? Why couldn¡¯t he grow past Song Yu? There was already an unremovable difference in their ages, and now it was the same with their bodies.


    ¡°Why do you keep dazing off?¡± Song Yu lowered his head to look at him. ¡°Your face is so depressed. Are you thinking my speech was terrible and I¡¯ll be eliminated?¡±


    ¡°Of course not.¡± Yue Zhishi immediately looked up. After drying from the rain, his hair was curlier than usual. Under the carriage lights, it looked like soft down.


    Song Yu raised an eyebrow and waited for him to speak further. Yue Zhishi blinked, then asked while looking at him, ¡°Song Yu gege, are you really going overseas?¡±


    Not expecting this question, Song Yu froze for a second and honestly replied, ¡°I haven¡¯t thought about it.¡±


    ¡°Can you not think about it?¡± Yue Zhishi hurriedly asked.


    Song Yu watched him, looking like he was trying not to smile. ¡°What do you say?¡±


    I say you can¡¯t, Yue Zhishi silently replied. But since Song Yu said it like that, he definitely didn¡¯t have any plans yet to leave the country because he would have told him otherwise. This allowed Yue Zhishi to relax quite a bit.


    The carriage door opened, and quite a few people came inside. One couple rushed in, the girl wearing the man¡¯s coat. Yue Zhishi suddenly remembered and shifted his head to look at Song Yu. ¡°What did you mean by ¡®they¡¯re not friends¡¯?¡±


    Song Yu knew he didn¡¯t understand. He also didn¡¯t want to explain further, so he chose to dodge the question just like when they were younger. ¡°They¡¯re very good friends.¡±


    ¡°I could tell. Their relationship is really good.¡± Yue Zhishi thought about the second half of Song Yu¡¯s previous words of ¡®we¡¯re not brothers¡¯. Since they weren¡¯t real brothers, it wouldn¡¯t be too bad to be friends. His mouth moved faster than his brain, and he said, ¡°We can also be very good friends.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t expect him to reply like that and very unnaturally turned his face away.


    ¡°I won¡¯t be friends with children.¡±


    And unexpectedly, Yue Zhishi cheered up a little bit seeing Song Yu¡¯s reaction, chasing after him to look at his face. He must have found some shred of hope in Song Yu¡¯s complete refusal.


    He was a child, but Song Yu was already grown up. His birthday was coming up soon in the winter.


    Then once Yue Zhishi also grew up, Song Yu would be his friend.


    Everyone else in the carriage stood with slouched backs and crooked waists except for Song Yu, who stood as straight as a pole he could lean against. Yue Zhishi held onto his arm and gazed at his reflection in the glass window.


    He needed to grow up faster.


    They finally found some seats after some people got off at the next stop.


    Perhaps it was food coma, or maybe it was the flu medicine from the morning finally kicking in, but as Yue Zhishi sat there, his eyelids started struggling to stay apart. He couldn¡¯t help but nod off, his head bobbing up and down like fish bait in water and his body swaying back and forth with the movements of the train. He almost fully reclined onto the shoulders of the random auntie sitting to his right.


    Song Yu was originally looking down at his phone, but seeing Yue Zhishi¡¯s struggle, he reached out a hand and grabbed his hood. He pulled the hood with enough strength to tilt Yue Zhishi to his body, and as the carriage slightly rocked, Yue Zhishi fell onto his shoulder like there was a magnet drawing him into place. He continued to sleep peacefully.


    A young girl sitting across from them had been facing her phone towards them for a while. Song Yu lifted his head and glanced at her, and her face was immediately covered by a guilty expression, her phone lowering.


    But Song Yu didn¡¯t ask her to stop and didn¡¯t look at her again. He merely raised his hand and adjusted Yue Zhishi¡¯s hood, pulling it down to cover most of his face. He reached in a hand and felt his forehead before finally bringing his hand back to his side. It looked like Yue Zhishi was slightly disturbed by his movements, as he shifted a bit on his shoulder before snuggling in again to continue sleeping.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s old habit of falling asleep in the car had still yet to be fixed. When he was younger and was on a train or a bus, he wasn¡¯t satisfied with just Song Yu¡¯s shoulder. He would often directly lean over and rest on Song Yu¡¯s lap, two hands holding onto his waist, and wake up with sleep marks all over his face.


    Song Yu opened his phone and exited the chat he had with Xia Zhixu. He then pressed open his messages with Yue Zhishi.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s tracking ability was at the level of a kindergarten student. From the moment he¡¯d left the house that morning, Song Yu had known Yue Zhishi was following him. So during a moment when Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t been paying attention, Song Yu had sneakily taken a photo of him and had sent it over, hoping to give him a little scare. He didn¡¯t expect that this guy would¡¯ve even forgotten his cell phone.


    He clicked open the unused photo. Zooming in, he could see Yue Zhishi¡¯s extraordinarily long eyelashes. Song Yu stared at the silent chat box and then looked back down at the person sleeping on his shoulder.


    He¡¯d realised too late ¡ª he could no longer delete.


    The author has something to say:


    Girl: don¡¯t stop me, I want to post #handsome guys on the train#


    Song Yu told Zhixu about Zhishi¡¯s allergy because they¡¯re very good friends, and since they don¡¯t go to the same school, he wouldn¡¯t be able to harm Zhishi. Besides, eating together requires explaining why some food can¡¯t be ordered or why he can¡¯t let them give some food to Zhishi to try.


    He told Zhishi to not tell other people because his ability to guard against others is too low.

 CH 16

    Chapter 16: Osmanthus Sugar


    Two months have passed since the city¡¯s Best Three awards were announced. Yue Zhishi was ridiculously happy when he saw the list of names. That day, two sentences filled his brain, circling around and around: ¡®gege won the award¡¯ and ¡®of course gege would win the award¡¯.


    The seasons of spring and autumn in this city were the same ¡ª they never lasted past two weeks. Sometimes it would feel like spring turned into winter over the course of one day, with the only stubborn proof of autumn¡¯s existence being the smell of osmanthus flowers covering the entire city, wafting continuously into the cold autumn wind.


    Two big osmanthus trees were planted in the little yard in front of Yanghe Qizhe. One was the glistening, golden variety, while the other was a red osmanthus tree. During their monthly school break, Yue Zhishi and Song Yu was called by Lin Rong to pick the flowers.


    The two of them were woken up early in the morning, and just so happened to coincidentally wear the matching set of sweaters Lin Rong bought for them last year. Song Yu¡¯s was black, and Yue Zhishi¡¯s was ivory white.


    Lin Rong placed a large tablecloth on the ground around the osmanthus trees in the yard. The two boys used slender bamboo sticks to beat the tree branches on top, golden fragments copiously drifting downwards with heavy fragrance. Yue Zhishi had always enjoyed doing this since he was young ¡ª other flowers also smelled nice, but the fragrance of osmanthus flowers was different, the scent of it carrying some sweetness just like its taste.


    ¡°Enough, enough.¡± Lin Rong laughed as she packed up the flowers on the tablecloth. ¡°There¡¯s not much left on the trees, we should leave some to smell.¡±


    The two of them stopped, and Song Yu prepared to put away his bamboo stick. He tilted his head and saw flower petals resting on top of Yue Zhishi¡¯s fluffy hair, a layer of glistening yellow. It looked like a souffl¨¦ covered in maple syrup. He silently stretched out a hand, one end of his bamboo stick slowly wobbling over until it finally tapped on the back of Yue Zhishi¡¯s head.


    Yue Zhishi quickly covered his head and turned his head to look at him, the flowers on his head swirling away. He still managed to see the bamboo stick Song Yu quickly retracted. ¡°You hit me.¡±


    Song Yu had no intention of admitting it whatsoever, the stick hiding behind his back in his two hands. He stayed silent.


    ¡°Aunt Rong, gege hit my head.¡± Yue Zhishi chased after her and dropped the bamboo stick in his hand, the impact of it on the floor knocking up a pile of petals.


    Lin Rong helplessly smiled and said, ¡°Ahh, be careful of the flowers!¡±


    He didn¡¯t step on the flowers, but he slipped on a corner of the tablecloth as he ran over. Yue Zhishi¡¯s whole body staggered forward, and luckily Song Yu managed to catch him before he fell.


    Sweet perfume filled the air. The tiny petals tucked away in the fibres of Song Yu¡¯s woollen sweater slowly cascaded down from the collision of Yue Zhishi¡¯s body, just like the unspooling of hidden care.


    ¡°Stop messing around.¡± Song Yu held his elbow and helped him stand back up.


    ¡°You messed around with me first,¡± Yue Zhishi reasonably retorted.


    Song Yu glanced at him. ¡°I just wanted to let you know there were a lot of petals on your head.¡±


    ¡°Same goes for you.¡±


    The two of them lowered their heads at the same time, each patting away the fallen flowers on his own head.


    They managed to fill two large pots with the amount of flowers they knocked down, but many withered flowers and flower stems were mixed inside as well. The three of them sat at a table in the empty restaurant and started to separate their haul, chatting as they worked. The flower petals were about the size of rice grains while the flower stalks and stems were even smaller, and Yue Zhishi felt like his eyes were going to go blind from all the sifting. It felt like the plucking would never end.


    ¡°I know why these flowers taste so nice now.¡± Yue Zhishi rotated and stretched his neck. ¡°It¡¯s not the flowers that taste nice, it¡¯s the time spent on them.¡±


    ¡°Hey, that¡¯s very well said.¡± Lin Rong was a bit surprised. She then said, her voice filled with emotion, ¡°The amount of time you put into food makes it more delicious. Honestly, not just food, but everything in life is like that too.¡±


    Song Yu thought about The Little Prince he¡¯d once read to Yue Zhishi when they were younger. Yue Zhishi might¡¯ve forgotten all about it by now, but there was particular quote from this bedtime reading story that remained in his memories.


    [It is the time you wasted for your rose that makes it so important.]


    Sometimes he¡¯d think, was that also their relationship? All that expended time and companionship have now become a permanent sunk cost.


    After being sifted through, the freshly cleaned osmanthus flowers sat in a large pot, golden and beautiful. Lin Rong sprinkled a little of salt and mixed it into the flowers to remove any bitterness while Song Yu and Yue Zhishi disinfected glass jars with boiling water. The flowers were then separated into two, half to make osmanthus sugar, and the other half to make osmanthus syrup.


    It was very easy to make osmanthus sugar. One thick layer of flowers was placed into a glass jar before a layer of sugar was poured on top. These two steps were repeated until there was a final layer of sugar on top. After pouring some baijiu over the last layer of sugar, the glass jar was sealed and put aside, waiting only to be put into the refrigerator at home.


    ¡°So much sugar.¡± Yue Zhishi stared at the jar, his face reflected on the glass.


    ¡°The two of you work so hard at school, you should be eating more sugar.¡±


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but remember Senior Xu Qichen.


    He had a face that looked like it needed more sugar.


    The style of making osmanthus syrup was very Japanese. Equal amounts of white wine and caster sugar was mixed with three times the amount of water and boiled until the liquid became slightly thick. Lin Rong scooped up a spoonful to give Yue Zhishi to try. The sweetness was just right, so the osmanthus flowers were mixed directly into the syrup.


    ¡°I want to give Senior Xu Qichen a bottle.¡±


    Hearing Yue Zhishi¡¯s sudden words, Song Yu gave him a look, as if he was asking why.


    Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t yet answered when Lin Rong, who was mixing the syrup together, also remembered the election speeches. She asked Song Yu, ¡°Those two children also won the award, right?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± Song Yu squeezed half a lemon before he went to wash his hands.


    ¡°After I heard from you last time, I felt that child Xiao Xu was so pitiful.¡± Lin Rong couldn¡¯t help but sigh. ¡°It just had to happen right before he started high school. If it were another person, there would definitely be no way they would continue going to school.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t continue the conversation, instead immediately giving Lin Rong a look. Lin Rong realised something and turned the topic of the conversation around. ¡°But that child¡¯s smart, so he¡¯ll definitely end up in either Peking University or Tsinghua.¡±


    But Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t end up distracted. Just like Song Yu thought he would, Yue Zhishi very directly asked, ¡°What happened to him?¡±


    ¡°Nothing.¡± Song Yu helped his mother pour out the finished syrup, his voice calm. ¡°He got into a car accident during his high school examination period and was heavily injured.¡±


    Both his parents also passed away.


    ¡°I see¡­¡± Yue Zhishi thought about how peaceful Xu Qichen was that day they ate lunch together. Yue Zhishi was the same age as he was when he got into the car accident. But he couldn¡¯t put the words ¡®Xu Qichen¡¯ and ¡®pitiful¡¯ together ¡ª after all, he himself didn¡¯t like to be called pitiful. He thought Xu Qichen would be the same.


    Lin Rong changed the subject, pushing some lemon juice and a bottle of alcohol in front of him. ¡°Okay Le Le, I¡¯ll give you our last task for the day. Let¡¯s finish this before I head out with your uncle on a business trip.¡±


    Yue Zhishi followed her instructions and poured in three spoonfuls of lemon juice and two spoonfuls of the orange flavoured alcohol into the prepared sugar syrup. Once the mixture was poured into jam jars, everything was successfully completed.


    The sun came out in the afternoon. Yue Zhishi and Song Yu sat at the stone table in the small yard, one silently reciting classical Chinese texts and the other doing his homework questions. Lin Rong carried out a pot of hot black tea, and Yue Zhishi drank two large cups after it was mixed with lemon slices and some of the osmanthus syrup. After also eating a small plate of leche frita drizzled with osmanthus syrup, he was fully satisfied.


    The next morning as soon as he got out of bed, the first thing Yue Zhishi did was to open the fridge and see if his osmanthus sugar had started to blend together yet. The previously separate layers in the jars have actually started to melt.


    ¡°So cool,¡± he softly said to himself. He then followed Lin Rong¡¯s instructions and opened each jar, stirring up the flowers inside.


    One large tree spent an entire year¡¯s worth of effort to produce yesterday¡¯s flowers, and they¡¯d worked through the entire afternoon ¡ª all just for these six little jars.


    Last night before the couple left for their business trip, Yue Zhishi cheerfully assigned his presents. ¡°Out of my two jars of osmanthus sugar, one is for Senior Xu, and the other one I¡¯ll give to my friend.¡±


    ¡°What about your syrup?¡± Lin Rong asked.


    ¡°I¡¯ll give them to Song Yu gege!¡± Yue Zhishi had already planned it out long ago. Song Yu had a fridge in his room. If he gave Song Yu his syrup to keep in his room, he would then have an excuse to visit him for tea.


    He was a person of action. He carried his jars upstairs as he finished speaking, taking advantage of Song Yu¡¯s absence to sneak them into his fridge.


    As he pulled open the door, he suddenly noticed a row of yoghurt sitting in Song Yu¡¯s perpetually empty fridge.


    They were all cheese-flavoured.


    ¡ª


    On Monday, Yue Zhishi carefully carried his jar of osmanthus sugar the entire way to school, worried he might drop and break the glass jar. He planned on giving it to best friend Jiang Yufan.


    After the last monthly exams, their class had switched up their seats. Yue Zhishi now sat next to the window opening into the school corridor near the back, while Jiang Yufan sat near the front, also next to a window. Yue Zhishi arrived a bit early for their morning self-study session and saw Jiang Yufan¡¯s empty seat. Since there was no one there and the window was open, he directly stood in the school corridor and opened his schoolbag to pull the jar out.


    The osmanthus sugar sparkled like crystals underneath the classroom¡¯s incandescent light bulbs and looked especially enticing.


    Jiang Yufan¡¯s desk mate looked at it curiously. ¡°Wow, what is this? It looks like it¡¯ll be yummy.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s back was suddenly, forcefully shoved just as he was about to open his mouth. The glass jar almost fell from his hand. His back ached, and Yue Zhishi set the jar onto the desk before he looked around, eyebrows drawing together. He saw four male students surrounding a short classmate, pushing and shoving him towards the bathroom.


    ¡°Ignore them,¡± Jiang Yufan¡¯s desk mate said to Yue Zhishi. ¡°Wang Jie from the class next door is a gangster. That short guy is someone from their class, he¡¯s skipped a grade. I think he¡¯s called Cheng Mingming. He¡¯s always being bullied.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± Yue Zhishi asked, still frowning.


    ¡°I hear his family has money, and he was raised by his grandparents. Don¡¯t know what he did though, he¡¯s always being blackmailed by the gangsters in their class.¡± Jiang Yufan¡¯s desk mate said, very disdainfully, ¡°They should try bullying someone bigger if they have the ability. What does it say about them to be bullying someone without parents, right?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re right.¡± Yue Zhishi sent his bag over and placed it onto Jiang Yufan¡¯s desk, turning over to head towards the bathroom. Jiang Yufan¡¯s desk mate felt something wasn¡¯t right and leaned over the window, calling at him, ¡°Hey, wait, Yue Zhishi!¡±


    He didn¡¯t look back. Jiang Yufan¡¯s desk mate was a bit puzzled ¡ª this was an obedient student with a famously good temper. How come he was being so heroic today? But he didn¡¯t follow along, scared that if something did happen, he¡¯d be implicated too.


    A large crowd was squeezed into the bathroom, and there was even someone standing by the door as a lookout. Yue Zhishi was immediately blocked as he went over. ¡°What do you want?¡±


    ¡°To wash my hands,¡± Yue Zhishi said.


    ¡°Come back later.¡± The guy recognised him, seeing he was also a well known person in the junior high department, and then said, ¡°Can¡¯t you tell something¡¯s going on inside?¡±


    Yue Zhishi, face full of innocence, asked ¡°What is?¡±


    The guy was made speechless by his question and awkwardly glanced backwards. Yue Zhishi took advantage of this pause, pushed away the arm blocking his way and entered. He flung away the guy¡¯s hastily grasping hands. Yue Zhishi thought he was short because he always compared himself with Song Yu when he looked at his height, but in reality, when compared to classmates his own age, he was taller than most of them.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought the fierce-looking boy with the crewcut standing right in the middle should be who Jiang Yufan¡¯s desk mate called Wang Jie. He felt it was more respectful to call him by his name, since he didn¡¯t actually want to fight, let alone stir up any trouble.


    ¡°Classmate Wang Jie.¡±


    Just as he expected, the crewcut twisted his head over, eyes weighing Yue Zhishi. ¡°What?¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded, and then, just like someone¡¯s alarm clock, said, ¡°There¡¯s only 15 minutes left before morning self-study.¡±


    ¡°Why the fuck do I need you to remind me? Are you the only good student here?¡± Wang Jie¡¯s words were harsh, but he turned his body around. ¡°This is none of your business.¡±


    Seeing as his reminder wasn¡¯t as useful as he¡¯d hoped, Yue Zhishi slightly sighed before saying, even more straightforwardly, ¡°Don¡¯t bully classmates.¡±


    ¡°Do you think you¡¯re acting in one of those school dramas?¡± Wang Jie sneered. ¡°Don¡¯t think you¡¯re worth something just because some girls like you. What the fuck.¡± He kicked the student cowering in the corner of the room as he spoke. ¡°You know him? Looks like he wants to help you, maybe he just wants to use you to get some fame?¡±


    The people following Wang Jie started to gather together, looking like they wanted to hold off Yue Zhishi. But he pushed them all away, going directly to the student on the floor and helped him up. He realised the student¡¯s pockets were flipped out, so he lifted his eyes and stared straight at Wang Jie. ¡°Give his money back.¡±


    Wang Jie was enraged all of a sudden and ruthlessly shoved Yue Zhishi. ¡°Who do you think you are, daring to stick your nose in my business!¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulder blades smacked onto the wall, the pain causing him to frown once again. But he didn¡¯t want to bother with this kind of person ¡ª and besides, with their larger amount of people, he would definitely be at a disadvantage if they started to fight.


    Yue Zhishi had never done anything to show off like this since he was a child. The whole situation was new to him, and he didn¡¯t know what to do. But whenever he met something he didn¡¯t know how to handle, his habit was always to imitate, thinking, if this was Song Yu, how would he handle this?


    The other student was very scared, shaking as he stuck closely behind Yue Zhishi. Yue Zhishi tried to make himself look more calm, like Song Yu¡¯s usual demeanour, and said, ¡°It¡¯s not a big deal if you¡¯re only hitting people. You can always say it was a small conflict to the teachers. But if it¡¯s money you¡¯re refusing to give back, then that¡¯s robbery, and we can report that to the police.¡±


    Yue Zhishi then pointed outside. ¡°Look, plenty of people walking outside saw you do it. There are also cameras. If we really did call the police, there¡¯d be plenty of evidence.¡± He blinked and asked Wang Jie, ¡°Have you been to the police station before?¡±


    Wang Jie¡¯s face immediately changed. Even though everyone called him a gangster, he was still only just a junior high school student. He had yet to even enter society, let alone been to a police station. Being bluffed like this, his heart was a bit nervous even though his words weren¡¯t: ¡°Fuck, let¡¯s see if you dare call the police!¡±


    The bullied Cheng Mingming was scared enough to hide behind Yue Zhishi. Yue Zhishi tightly held onto his arm and said, ¡°Even if he¡¯s too afraid to do it, I can bring him to the police station. After all, I¡¯d only need to give a testimony.¡±


    Actually, Yue Zhishi had never been to the police station either and didn¡¯t understand the usual procedures. He only followed what he saw in the television dramas, but seeing as Wang Jie was just a paper tiger with no real teeth, he decided to try bluffing his way through.


    ¡°You!¡± Wang Jie choked. He turned around and called to his ¡®little bro¡¯, ¡°Give it to him. I don¡¯t fucking need this small amount of money.¡±


    The little bro threw the money down onto the floor, two bills of 100 and one bill of 50. Yue Zhishi bent over and picked them up for the student, stacking the bills up neatly. ¡°Can you see any missing?¡±


    ¡°Missing your ass!¡±


    Yue Zhishi only frowned and didn¡¯t respond to Wang Jie¡¯s swearing. Once Cheng Mingming shook his head and softly said everything was all there, Yue Zhishi felt everything was finished, so he started to support the scared student to walk outside. Wang Jie felt like he¡¯d lost some face and couldn¡¯t help but continue swearing. ¡°So fucking unlucky¡­¡±


    Yue Zhishi was too lazy to reply and continued walking. He heard one sentence as he reached the entrance.


    ¡°You¡¯re in such a hurry to meddle in other people¡¯s business just because your mom¡¯s dead, fuck.¡±

 CH 17

    Chapter 17: A Hypothetical Existence


    Jiang Yufan got in right on time for the morning self-study. He heard about Yue Zhishi¡¯s fight as soon as he entered the classroom and ran right back out without even putting down his bag. But he still arrived too late ¡ª by the time he got to the bathroom, the school guidance director had already arrived.


    The bathroom¡¯s few square metres were full of people either fighting or trying to pull others apart. Jiang Yufan forced his way through and immediately saw Yue Zhishi. His right eye was bruised, the corner of his mouth bleeding onto his torn shirt. The blood dripped onto his knitted vest, and his school badge was covered in red.


    Unprecedented violence and anger covered his face.


    ¡°You all come with me to the office! What are the rest of you guys looking at? Didn¡¯t you hear the bell? Go back to class!¡±


    Jiang Yufan couldn¡¯t understand why Yue Zhishi fought with other people. This was entirely not like him, and he would even believe it if someone said Yue Zhishi was possessed. Not just him, but even the whole class was stunned when they heard of the news.


    ¡°Who got into a fight? Yue Zhishi? You¡¯re joking right¡­¡±


    ¡°No way, Yue Zhishi¡¯s never even been late, let alone hitting someone. Oh, except for the first day of school.¡±


    ¡°I heard he was defending that guy who skipped a grade in the next door class. I¡¯ve never seen those two together before, so why would he end up brawling with someone like Wang Jie for him?¡±


    ¡°And it was one against four too.¡±


    ¡°Shit, Le Le¡¯s amazing.¡±


    Some people were even holding open the windows to peer at the high school building across from them. The administrative offices for the school directors and class advisers were all on the second and third floors of the opposite building.


    ¡°Can¡¯t see anything¡­¡±


    ¡°Maybe they¡¯re still getting yelled at? They might end up in the school corridors writing self-criticism essays in a little while.¡±


    Jiang Yufan felt particularly anxious and unsettled at hearing the girl in the front seat talk about Yue Zhishi as if it was some other person.


    ¡°That Cheng Mingming¡¯s long had a history with Wang Jie. I think they used to be elementary school classmates. Last time I was in the cafeteria, I heard him say to other people that Wang Jie¡¯s family is really poor and that he¡¯s even stolen some of his money before.¡±


    ¡°Really? Then¡­¡±


    ¡°Anyway, Wang Jie¡¯s not someone you should mess with, he¡¯s even said Cheng Mingming is useless without his parents. I feel like Le Le was dragged into this mess. Maybe both parties will find an excuse and blame it all on Le Le.¡±


    After hearing about the topic of no parents, Jiang Yufan appeared to understand something. He was worried Yue Zhishi would be at a disadvantage, so he stood up and said he needed to go toilet because his stomach ached, when he actually ran to the opposite school building.


    Inside the office, the bullied Cheng Mingming kept fumbling his words, and the school guidance director couldn¡¯t get the full story out of him no matter how he tried.


    ¡°What happened? How did the fight start?¡±


    Cheng Mingming frantically shook his head. ¡°I had nothing to do with it, I didn¡¯t hit anyone.¡±


    This wasn¡¯t the first time Cheng Mingming and Wang Jie caused a problem. The guidance director knew this and could roughly guess what happened just by looking at them. But this case was strange in that a famously good student happened to participate in this fight ¡ª every teacher who¡¯d taught him before knew he was sensible and obedient.


    Class adviser Wang Qian and the class adviser for next door had also been called over. The director looked at them and said, ¡°They¡¯re from your classes. You ask.¡±


    Wang Qian was well aware of Yue Zhishi¡¯s character, so he didn¡¯t indiscriminately start criticising him.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, what happened?¡±


    ¡°Why¡¯d you get into a fight with your fellow students? This isn¡¯t how you normally act.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s head was half-lowered, and the blood at the corner of his mouth was already dry. He opened his mouth and directly, obediently admitted his mistake even though he didn¡¯t give out his reasons for fighting. ¡°Teacher Wang, I¡¯ve broken school rules. I¡¯m happy to write either a self-criticism essay or be placed in detention. I¡¯m willing to take anything.¡±


    Someone suddenly appeared at the door, loudly reporting his arrival. Everyone looked over at the same time and saw Jiang Yufan, face full of desperation. ¡°Teacher, Yue Zhishi only went to the bathroom because he saw Cheng Mingming being bulled by Wang Jie! He didn¡¯t start it!¡±


    Yue Zhishi was worried Jiang Yufan would also be dragged into this, so he immediately said to Wang Qian, ¡°Teacher, Jiang Yufan wasn¡¯t there.¡±


    Jiang Yufan anxiously said, ¡°I wasn¡¯t there in person, but people saw it, many of our classmates saw them.¡±


    Wang Qian took a look at Yue Zhishi before he said to Jiang Yufan, ¡°Go back to class, this has nothing to do with you.¡±


    Jiang Yufan was unwilling, but he had no choice but to leave. He worriedly glanced at Yue Zhishi before he unhappily left.


    The class adviser from next door looked as if he wasn¡¯t planning on making this a serious matter. He first decided that Cheng Mingming didn¡¯t really commit anything wrong, and after greeting the guidance director, told Cheng Mingming to go back to class. He then turned to interrogate Wang Jie.


    At first Wang Jie was listless from being hit so many times, merely holding a tissue to his bleeding mouth. But the interrogation fired up his rebellious heart, and he said, ¡°What¡¯d I do? He poked his nose into something that had nothing to do with him. I already let them go, but then he turned around and punched me like a crazy person!¡±


    His followers chimed after him. ¡°That¡¯s right! Yue Zhishi started it!¡±


    ¡°We were all holding back at first, who knew why he suddenly went crazy and started hitting people.¡±


    ¡°Teacher, if you don¡¯t believe us, you should look for the people pulling us apart earlier in the bathroom. They would¡¯ve seen who threw the first punch.¡±


    ¡°It was me,¡± Yue Zhishi calmly confessed. ¡°I wanted to hit him.¡±


    After he said this sentence, all the other teachers in the office looked sideways at him in disbelief.


    Wang Jie never thought Yue Zhishi would say something like that. It felt like the Yue Zhishi standing in front of him now and the usual Yue Zhishi were two different people.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to waste time debating with you guys whose mistake was bigger and whose was smaller,¡± said the guidance director. He stood there with his hands behind his back, and smoothly recited what he believed to have happened. ¡°Wang Jie, you brought people to bully Cheng Mingming, while you, Yue Zhishi, went to stand up for Cheng Mingming but ended up starting a fight. Both you and Wang Jie made a serious mistake, and thus a demerit shall be recorded for the both of you. Your class advisers will deal with the rest.¡±


    He looked at Teacher Wang. ¡°If you believe you should call their parents, then do so. Or tell them to write a self-criticism essay.¡±


    Teacher Wang nodded and escorted the guidance director out. He faintly felt like something wasn¡¯t quite right, so he brought Yue Zhishi to the teachers¡¯ kitchenette next door. ¡°I¡¯ll take you to the infirmary to take care of your face.¡±


    ¡°No need sir,¡± Yue Zhishi said. ¡°The infirmary will open soon, so I can go by myself.¡±


    Teacher Wang poured him a cup of water. ¡°If it was a student who normally got into fights or other trouble, I would simply call their parents to finish things. But the situation can¡¯t be that simple if it got you angry too.¡±


    Yue Zhishi held his paper cup and was silent for a while before he finally opened his mouth. ¡°Teacher, I don¡¯t want to talk about it. But I can promise you, I definitely won¡¯t fight with other students anymore. I¡¯m willing to accept any punishment you give me.¡±


    ¡°I can call your parents then?¡± Wang Qian put down his cup and gazed at Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°I¡­¡± Yue Zhishi then also lifted his head to look at him. ¡°You can, but my parents are out of town for the next few days. You¡¯ll have to wait for them to come back¡­¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s fine.¡± Wang Qian then said, ¡°As your class adviser, I respect that you have a reason to not explain your actions, but you have to understand, violence is not a good way to solve problems. No matter when. If someone¡¯s threatening you, you can tell the teachers. If you don¡¯t trust us, you can also ask others to help you. Understand?¡±


    Yue Zhishi knew where he went wrong and nodded. ¡°Yes, I understand.¡±


    He stayed in the kitchenette and wrote his self-criticism essay. By the time he finished and left, morning self-study had already finished. Yue Zhishi went by himself to the infirmary and treated his wound fairly simply before he returned to class. He recited his self-criticism essay in front of the entire class before Wang Qian started his Chinese literature class.


    ¡°Go back to your seat,¡± Teacher Wang said, standing at the podium. ¡°The fight this time can also serve as a reminder to your fellow students, to not casually choose to stand up for other people. If you come across school violence, the first thing you must do is notify a teacher, and don¡¯t try to meet violence with violence.¡±


    Even though it was a fight, Yue Zhishi¡¯s good relationships with everyone meant they all stood on his side. This matter quickly spread amongst all the students, and most of them directly called him a courageous hero. No one knew the real reason why Yue Zhishi started fighting, and no one really wanted to know ¡ª it was merely another fresh topic of conversation within the dull and repetitive life of a student.


    After class, as they all started heading to the sport ground for some exercises, Jiang Yufan ran to Yue Zhishi¡¯s seat. ¡°Does your eye hurt? Let¡¯s go the supermarket and get a popsicle for it.¡± He reached out a hand and wanted to touch it, but he was also scared he might hurt Yue Zhishi. Yue Zhishi honestly shook his head, and Jiang Yufan felt some pity for him. ¡°That looks so harsh. Why didn¡¯t you wait for me to go with you?¡±


    ¡°I also made him bleed,¡± Yue Zhishi seriously reported.


    ¡°He definitely provoked you. Seriously, what happened? You usually never take part in these kind of things. Tell me, I¡¯ll find a chance to take revenge for you.¡±


    But no matter how he asked, Yue Zhishi refused to answer. Jiang Yufan guessed it must¡¯ve been close to what he¡¯d initially thought ¡ª if it wasn¡¯t because of the topic of parents, Yue Zhishi wouldn¡¯t have bothered and definitely would¡¯t have gotten into a fight. Jiang Yufan changed the subject without batting an eye. ¡°Your osmanthus sugar looks really good.¡±


    ¡°Doesn¡¯t it? But you have to wait until the sugar¡¯s all melted before you can eat it. Song Yu gege and I hit the tree to get the flowers¡­¡± Yue Zhishi suddenly hissed, his lively movements just then pulling on his mouth injury.


    ¡°Ahhh, be careful, talk slower,¡± Jiang Yufan said. He then remembered: ¡°You brother should¡¯ve heard about you fighting by now. He wouldn¡¯t yell at you, right?¡±


    Yue Zhishi instantly widened his eyes. ¡°No way, he couldn¡¯t have heard.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s what you think. The news spread while we were just in the morning self-study. I just saw a post about it on the Peiya school forum, loads of people were replying to it even though they were mostly scolding Wang Jie.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was suddenly concerned and grabbed Jiang Yufan¡¯s sleeve. ¡°Do I look particularly ugly right now?¡±


    ¡°Not at all, you look super manly,¡± Jiang Yufan laughed. ¡°How come you¡¯re suddenly caring about your looks? Don¡¯t worry, all the girls are worshipping you right now. This one fight of yours have made you super handsome.¡±


    Yue Zhishi pretty much didn¡¯t care about those things ¡ª he just didn¡¯t want Song Yu to know he got into a fight, and he definitely did not want to face him with this face of his.


    ¡°I¡¯m not going to do the exercises anymore, I¡¯m going to take some leave,¡± Yue Zhishi said. He immediately ran to find the class monitor and hid in the classroom to do his homework. He¡¯d have to hide even if he went down to the sports ground anyway, and it would be even more awkward if he bumped into Song Yu face to face.


    His eye was now swollen and aching, and Yue Zhishi started to regret the morning. However, he didn¡¯t regret choosing to hit someone ¡ª he was regretting the fact he didn¡¯t move better. If he could redo the fight, he definitely would dodge those few punches and would knock that guy to the floor in one blow.


    After the school exercises, a few girls in class gave him bandaids. One girl from another class even bought him a bottle of ice water, telling him to put it on his eye. Yue Zhishi thanked them one by one even though he wouldn¡¯t be able to use most of the items. He didn¡¯t quite like the feeling of standing out and thought he¡¯d definitely keep a low profile in the future.


    Luckily, Aunt Rong wasn¡¯t at home this afternoon, so he didn¡¯t have to go home for lunch. This gave Yue Zhishi a chance to avoid Song Yu. He wasn¡¯t hungry, so he decided to continue staying in his classroom and work on his homework. If he did more of them now, there would be less for him to do tonight. He needed to go home early later, so he could quickly shower and then hide in his room and lower the chances of bumping into Song Yu.


    While holding onto his ¡®perfect plan¡¯, Yue Zhishi was immersed into his homework questions, his head lowering and lowering until his chin was almost on top of his exercise book.


    ¡°Is there a point E¡­ if you make equal¡­¡± Yue Zhishi read out the question in a low voice, his eyebrows drawing together so closely until they almost touched. His eye started to ache harder. ¡°How do I prove this¡­¡±


    ¡°Assume it exists.¡±


    A voice suddenly flowed over the top of his head. Yue Zhishi thought he was hearing things and frantically lifted his head.


    Exist?


    He currently doubted his own eyes. The gege in front of him didn¡¯t actually exist.


    Song Yu¡¯s face was still as calm as usual. He didn¡¯t look at him and looked only at the question. ¡°Proof by contradiction. First hypothesise that the point exists, and then use that assumption to solve the problem. In an equal proposition, it cannot be both true and false.¡±


    He really was here.


    Yue Zhishi softly said, ¡°Oh.¡± He lowered his head and wrote down the word ¡®proof¡¯, then carefully opened his mouth. ¡°When¡¯d you get here?¡±


    ¡°Just now.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­¡± Yue Zhishi hung his head and wrote the phrase ¡®assume point E exists¡¯.


    Song Yu glanced at the top of his head and said, ¡°Stop working, let¡¯s head back for lunch.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re going home?¡± Yue Zhishi blankly stood up and followed Song Yu outside. Both Aunt Rong and Uncle were away, and there was no one at home to cook. ¡°We¡¯re not going to the cafeteria?¡±


    ¡°Home.¡±


    He definitely must¡¯ve heard about the fighting, and yet he didn¡¯t look too unhappy. Yue Zhishi was a bit apprehensive.


    Song Yu walked in front of him, half a step¡¯s distance away. His arms were by his side, fingers long and slender, and as he stared at him, Yue Zhishi absentmindedly thought about their childhood. He remembered in the first year of elementary school, when he¡¯d just started going to school, they¡¯d also walked like this on the road, one in front and one behind. But back then Song Yu was the one who¡¯d gotten into a fight, and Yue Zhishi was the one who¡¯d been bullied.


    His tears had flowed in unending streams, and he¡¯d held Song Yu¡¯s hand as they went home.


    How come they couldn¡¯t hold hands anymore?


    This curious thought suddenly appeared in Yue Zhishi¡¯s mind, and his hand reached forward without conscious thought.


    But the person in front unexpectedly put his hand into his pocket. Song Yu¡¯s phone had been vibrating from the moment he left the classroom, and he couldn¡¯t take it anymore, taking it out to look at it. The messages were all from Qin Yan.


    [Qin Yan: oh my god, i just went to the toilet and you disappeared. where¡¯d you go?]


    [Qin Yan: everyone said you¡¯re not going to the cafeteria? didn¡¯t we agree we were going to eat lunch together today]


    [Qin Yan: are you coming back to school? let¡¯s play some ball with lao zhang later]


    He was about to simply reply with ¡®going to rest at home for lunch¡¯ when a long paragraph suddenly jumped into the chat, the content of it causing Song Yu to frown.


    [Qin Yan: fck! xiao hei just said he saw you and your brother leave the school, don¡¯t tell me you¡¯re going to publicly humiliate him, it¡¯s just a small fight between boys don¡¯t get angry at him, hey wait isn¡¯t your mom away today who¡¯s going to cook? are you planning to starve our le le?]


    Song Yu abruptly stood still and lowered his head to respond. Yue Zhishi stopped moving as well and pulled his hand back in a fluster, hiding it behind his back.


    The sun in autumn wasn¡¯t very strong, but it still scorched his back, burning the palm of his hand.


    Having finished his reply, Song Yu glanced back at Yue Zhishi. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    Qin Yan was eating some soy sauce fried rice in the cafeteria. He checked his phone and almost spat out everything in his mouth.


    [I¡¯ll cook. People should eat something nice after being wronged.]

 CH 18

    Chapter 18: Relying on Each Other for Sleep


    There was no one at home. Cotton Candy was the first to come out and warmly welcome them, while Orange was in the corner of the sofa, simply lifting his head from the noise. After determining it was just them who¡¯d come home, he then lowered his head and turned his back to them to continue sleeping.


    Song Yu took off his outer school jacket. He told Yue Zhishi to sit on the sofa and asked him what he wanted to eat. Yue Zhishi had just lifted the dog into his arms and froze when he heard Song Yu¡¯s question ¡ª he placed the dog down and followed behind Song Yu into the kitchen. ¡°Song Yu gege, are you cooking?¡±


    Song Yu pulled down the apron hanging on the kitchen wall and tied it around himself. ¡°Is it strange for me to cook?¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head, sitting to the side of the kitchen island. The little Pomeranian dog climbed up his leg and snuggled into his arms.


    ¡°It¡¯s been a long time since I ate your cooking.¡±


    In the past, Song Jin¡¯s business was a lot busier than now. Lin Rong needed to help take care of the company and was constantly not at home. Song Yu and Yue Zhishi were very young still at that time. They¡¯d tried hiring a nanny, but she once didn¡¯t pay attention to the food she was cooking and gave Yue Zhishi an allergic reaction serious enough to stay in the hospital. From that point on, they didn¡¯t dare hire any nannies. If Lin Rong was too busy, then it would be Song Yu who cooked. Being surrounded by cooking from a young age, Song Yu could be considered quite skilled at it.


    Two little children, one small dining table and a few home cooked dishes ¡ª this was a memory Yue Zhishi could see by simply closing his eyes.


    ¡°I want maocai.¡± The Pomeranian¡¯s head rested on the kitchen island, Yue Zhishi caressing his downy head. ¡°And cake.¡±


    Song Yu turned his head back at him as he stood in front of the open fridge, pointing at the corner of his mouth as he raised an eyebrow.


    Yue Zhishi only then remembered. He touched his mouth and still felt some pain. ¡°But I want to eat it.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t say anything, merely starting to prepare the ingredients. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want him to work by himself, so he also went over to help despite not really know how to cook. He could only help wash the vegetables. The scrape on his fist stung a bit from the water. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t make a sound, only pausing his movements slightly, but the water suddenly stopped pouring from the faucet.


    ¡°You don¡¯t wash them cleanly enough.¡± Song Yu tore off a kitchen towel and handed it to him.


    Yue Zhishi wiped away the water on his hands. ¡°Then¡­¡±


    ¡°Stand there,¡± Song Yu said, head lowered and focused on cutting the vegetables. ¡°It¡¯s fine if you just watch.¡±


    Cotton Candy happily ran over to circle around Song Yu¡¯s legs. Yue Zhishi bent over and picked him up, holding tightly onto his paws. ¡°Don¡¯t bother gege.¡±


    Song Yu cut off a chunk of the beef tallow hot pot base Lin Rong had previously prepared. Once it went into the wok, it felt like the entire kitchen came alive, hissing and steaming. Ginger and garlic went into the now melted chilli oil, the aroma spreading everywhere. Hot water was poured in while the wok was still hot, and the red soup bubbled up and down as it boiled.


    Song Yu tasted it after he added in some further seasonings and thought it was a bit salty. He threw in a variety of cut vegetables.


    As he watched over the wok, Song Yu separated the egg yolks from two eggs and mixed them with wheat free flour. He then gave the egg whites and a hand mixer to Yue Zhishi, signalling him with a look.


    Whipping up egg whites was Yue Zhishi¡¯s most favourite thing to do ¡ª it could always improve his mood very quickly. It was a magical experience watching the egg whites gradually change from liquid to puffs to finally resemble clouds.


    ¡°They¡¯re ready,¡± Yue Zhishi said, lifting away the hand mixer. The ¡®clouds¡¯ formed little peaks as the whisks were pulled out. The peaks were signs of success, and Yue Zhishi was rather satisfied. ¡°Perfect.¡±


    After he plated up the maocai, Song Yu started making pancakes. ¡°There¡¯s not enough time for a cake, this will be faster.¡±


    ¡°A pancake is still a cake,¡± Yue Zhishi said while he nodded, emphasising the English words.


    Time passed, and the kitchen island soon carried two bowls of rice, a small pot of steaming maocai and a blueberry pancake, two different styles of food combining together. Fatty beef slices were stewed until they melted in the mouth, and when covered by some bright red chilli oil, just the look of them could stir the appetite. Song Yu took out a small glass jar and drizzled some golden osmanthus syrup over the pancake and then pushed it to Yue Zhishi.


    Yue Zhishi picked up a piece of fish and carefully put it into his mouth. He was very cautious when chewing, and his stiff movements were slightly amusing.


    The maocai was full of flavour, numb and spicy at the same time. Yue Zhishi started sweating after eating some of it and stuffed a piece of the syrup covered pancake into his mouth to help cool down the burn. It was soft and spongy like a thick piece of chiffon cake, the flavour warm and smooth.


    His uneasy feelings from the morning slowly dissipated in the midst of red chilli oil and honey.


    Everything can be fixed by some delicious food.


    Song Yu ate in silence until he suddenly left his seat and returned with a bag filled with ice. ¡°Put this on your eye.¡±


    He finally mentioned it. Yue Zhishi took the ice bag and mumbled his thanks, elbow resting against the table as he placed the ice against his eye. He held it for a little bit before he couldn¡¯t help but raise his head. ¡°Is it really ugly?¡±


    Song Yu focused on eating. ¡°You know the answer to that.¡±


    He clearly didn¡¯t care about the issue of his ruined face in front of other people, but Yue Zhishi was very afraid of Song Yu seeing his swollen eye, to the point he disdained himself. He didn¡¯t understand where this difference came from. Sighing, Yue Zhishi said remorsefully, very seriously, ¡°I should¡¯ve dodged that punch.¡±


    Song Yu put down his bowl. ¡°Yue Zhishi, shouldn¡¯t you be regretting the fight instead?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t regret it.¡± Yue Zhishi looked at him. ¡°I didn¡¯t do anything wrong.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s reply somewhat distracted Song Yu. It was like seeing himself when he was younger, so stubborn he refused to admit his mistake despite being beaten until blood streamed down his head.


    But Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want Song Yu to misunderstand him ¡ª he actively relaxed the initially obstinate attitude he held in front of the class adviser and started to explain himself. ¡°Gege, I didn¡¯t mean to cause trouble. I actually didn¡¯t plan on fighting in the beginning, it¡¯s just that¡­¡±


    Without waiting for him to finish, Song Yu interrupted, ¡°I know.¡±


    ¡°The person you hit,¡± Song Yu said, gazing at Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes as if he already knew the answer. ¡°What did he say?¡±


    Yue Zhishi abruptly stiffened, his hand tightening on the ice bag. His head drooped down as well, almost like a plant wilting in strong sunshine.


    ¡°He said¡­ it¡¯s because my mom¡¯s dead that I¡¯m poking my nose in other people¡¯s business.¡±


    When Wang Qian asked, he wasn¡¯t willing to answer. When Jiang Yufan asked, he didn¡¯t want to answer. Even if Lin Rong or Song Jin had immediately been called, Yue Zhishi could also stop a single word from passing his lips. But for some reason, once Song Yu asked, he answered.


    It seemed like he could only be weak in front of Song Yu.


    ¡°I hit him because I couldn¡¯t hold myself back.¡±


    Actually, Song Yu had already guessed the reason. His class representative had been carrying their homework downstairs and just so happened to see Yue Zhishi being scolded in the office. Song Yu initially didn¡¯t believe it when the news spread in class ¡ª he was clearer than anyone else that Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t like being in the spotlight. Even if he really was helping a classmate, he still wouldn¡¯t take the initiative to hit someone.


    But afterwards, when he heard the bullied student had no parents, Song Yu largely guessed the cause behind the fight.


    Even a small dog would bite someone if they stepped on its tail.


    But he¡¯d never wanted to be the rebuking older brother. Pretentious, reproachful adults have already done too much. Sometimes they couldn¡¯t even understand children could have their own worries, let alone consider those worries to be important ¡ª so they only know how to discipline, to force those children to make unwilling promises. They would never try to care about how those children felt, whether they were in pain, or how badly they were suffering.


    Disciplining or caring ¡ª Song Yu was inadequate at both of them.


    He watched as Yue Zhishi silently ate with his head lowered, his eyes quickly blinking several times as if he could force the tears back. Song Yu couldn¡¯t tell what what he was feeling, but he discovered that the current Yue Zhishi sitting in front of him was no longer the child who only knew how to hide behind him and cry.


    ¡°Then did you win? Or did he win?¡±


    Yue Zhishi never expected Song Yu to ask him something like that.


    He sniffled and lifted his head. The uninjured side of his mouth was smeared with chilli oil, but his expression was fully serious. ¡°I won. I fought four people by myself. I was a bit flustered after someone yelled the teachers were coming, so I didn¡¯t manage to dodge that last punch. My eye wouldn¡¯t have been hit otherwise.¡±


    It looked like he really cared about that punch to his eye. Song Yu grabbed a tissue and was about to hand it to him, but Yue Zhishi said, ¡°I¡¯m not crying. It¡¯s just too spicy.¡±


    Song Yu could only reach over and calmly wipe off the oil on his mouth.


    Maybe because it felt like he gave himself away by protesting too much, or maybe because Song Yu personally wiped his mouth for him, but Yue Zhishi¡¯s ears started to burn. He frantically stuffed another piece of the pancake into his mouth and almost choked, coughing for a long while.


    After finishing the food, the two of them cleaned up with enough time remaining for an afternoon nap. Yue Zhishi¡¯s eye felt a lot better after being iced. He went back to his room and looked at himself in the mirror. His eye was black and blue ¡ª it really was hard to look at.


    Song Yu closed his curtains and lay down onto his bed, casually browsing through his phone. It was full from Qin Yan¡¯s texts. He¡¯d just closed his eyes when he heard knocking on his door, and without even opening his eyes, he said, ¡°What is it?¡±


    ¡°I want to sleep with you,¡± Yue Zhishi said. His words were clear and direct, but he didn¡¯t take even half a step into the room.


    If this was the past, Song Yu would refuse without a second thought. But today he didn¡¯t ¡ª he shifted over on his bed, silently giving permission.


    Yue Zhishi immediately climbed on top. Song Yu opened his eyes, thinking to give him a pillow, but he saw a blindfold sitting on Yue Zhishi¡¯s head. He lightly pulled on the strap and asked, ¡°What¡¯s this for?¡±


    Yue Zhishi held onto his blindfold. ¡°I want to wear it.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t prevent him from doing so and turned over in the bed. Yue Zhishi obediently lay down as well, quietly gazing at Song Yu¡¯s back. He felt like it¡¯d been a long time since he last slept with Song Yu. When they were younger, he would climb onto Song Yu¡¯s bed with a pillow every time it rained and stick closely to his body. He was less afraid that way, and it was only during those times when he wouldn¡¯t be pushed away.


    But Song Yu was afraid of heat and would always mind when Yue Zhishi, a little meatball of warmth, hugged or clung onto him. Yue Zhishi learned to rest only his forehead on Song Yu¡¯s back, utterly restrained in fulfilling his need to feel secure.


    This might be the first time he fell asleep with Song Yu during the day. It just had to be with a ruined face, too.


    Yue Zhishi touched his forehead against Song Yu¡¯s back. He could feel his gege¡¯s heartbeat through his skin and bones, and it felt like he could even smell the very familiar scent of rain, soft and wet and full of hope.


    The illusion was like a hypnotic drug, the steady beat and imagined smell quickly lulling away his defences and pushing him into sleep.


    The drug only worked when he was by Song Yu¡¯s side.


    He couldn¡¯t help but think ¡ª if he could stay like this for the rest of his life, he wouldn¡¯t need anything else.


    But he knew he couldn¡¯t. He was no longer that three-year-old child who used all the ways he could think of to stop Song Yu from getting married. He could no longer recklessly cry, and he could no longer open his mouth and say things just to make himself happy.


    Yue Zhishi fell asleep with these thoughts. In his dream, everyone¡¯s faces were blurry and unclear: his parents who died early, the adults with sympathetic eyes and the children pushing and shoving at him. Only their voices were very clear.


    [Children with no parents are so pitiful.]


    [Oh, so you¡¯re an orphan.]


    Those voices twisted together and formed a dark shadow, chasing after him as he ran through his winding dream. He couldn¡¯t escape. He wanted to call out Song Yu¡¯s name ¡ª just his name ¡ª but he had no voice when he opened his mouth.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, Yue Zhishi¡­¡±


    He startled awake, his whole body covered in sweat. The image of Song Yu, now grown up, slowly sharpened in his field of vision. Yue Zhishi deeply sighed several times, eyebrows tightly drawn together. ¡°I had a nightmare.¡± He somehow thought of something Jiang Yufan said a few days ago. ¡°It felt like sleep paralysis.¡±


    Finished speaking, he very coolly flipped over. ¡°I¡¯m going to continue sleeping.¡±


    Song Yu lay back down, remnants of the sweat on Yue Zhishi¡¯s forehead still on his palm. He stared at the ceiling, and all he could see was Yue Zhishi¡¯s unresponsive face.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi.¡±


    Hearing Song Yu call his name, Yue Zhishi made a noise in response. His voice was the slightest bit nasally and sounded as if he was cutely whining. He cleared his throat, trying to pretend it didn¡¯t happen.


    ¡°You used to be such a crybaby when you were younger. You always gave me a headache when you cried, and it made me want to send you away.¡±


    Song Yu spoke very lightly despite his words of complaint. Yue Zhishi continued facing away from him, unconsciously pressing his lips together. He wanted to retort back, but then Song Yu opened his mouth again, quiet uncertainty threading through his words.


    ¡°How come you don¡¯t like crying anymore now that you¡¯ve grown up?¡±

 CH 19

    Chapter 19: Sugar Roasted Chestnuts


    Hearing Song Yu¡¯s words, Yue Zhishi¡¯s nose started to burn, almost as if it¡¯d just been pinched. The tears he¡¯d tried to hold back for a long time finally started to flow.


    He very stubbornly tried to wipe away his tears with one hand. He very quickly needed to use his other hand, and soon enough even both of his hands weren¡¯t enough to clean his face, the tears falling faster the longer he cried. He turned around and pushed Song Yu, shoving him until his back faced him once again. He placed his forehead onto Song Yu¡¯s back and cried, his shoulders quivering. His tears fell too quickly, so he buried his face into his pillow and tried his best to not make a sound.


    Song Yu stayed silent the entire time and let him cry. It soon looked like he ran out of patience, as he flipped over, took off Yue Zhishi¡¯s blindfold and dragged him into his arms. The tone of his voice didn¡¯t sound comforting at all.


    ¡°You¡¯re only happy after you dirty my bed.¡±


    Yue Zhishi wetly retorted, ¡°You told me to cry.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t reply, his entire attitude utterly unskilled at soothing someone. Yue Zhishi buried his head into his shoulder socket and didn¡¯t dare wipe his nose. In between his sobs, he asked, ¡°Won¡¯t your clothes get dirty?¡±


    You really do love asking questions.


    Song Yu said in a low voice, ¡°You can wash them if they¡¯re dirty.¡±


    From that point on, Yue Zhishi started crying recklessly and outrageously like a child, his sobs as loud and earthshaking as they used to be. Song Yu quietly lay there with his eyes blank. This entire scene was a little foreign to the two of them currently going through puberty, even though they¡¯d held each other like this often throughout childhood. To a younger Song Yu, Yue Zhishi was like a noisy little toy, following after him as if there was a ribbon connecting them together, like the little duck in Tom and Jerry. But as long as someone held him, he would quiet down and quickly fall asleep.


    He was always very quiet and obedient after falling asleep. He would look like a doll, just like how adults always described him.


    After growing up, Yue Zhishi was as well-behaved when awake as when he was asleep. He didn¡¯t cry or fuss around randomly and was always understanding and easy to like. Children during their adolescent years were always afraid to cry loudly, almost as if their troubles weren¡¯t worth being considered troubles, as if they weren¡¯t worth mentioning and were insignificant, or as if they would be accused of not knowing what true worries were. It was only in front of Song Yu that Yue Zhishi could place down his burdens and fall apart.


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t stop sniffling once his cries slowed down. Song Yu guessed from his understanding of Yue Zhishi that he wanted to say anything, so he listened for his voice. But Yue Zhishi ended up touching Song Yu¡¯s arm and pulled his hand over to his back. With a voice full of tears, he asked a small request. ¡°Can you pat my back?¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t refuse and lifted his hand to pat once. Yue Zhishi raised his head and looked at him. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean only once.¡±


    ¡°Mm,¡± Song Yu said, his hand starting to move. He asked, ¡°Still feel wronged?¡±


    There were no obstacles in their understanding of each other. Yue Zhishi very quickly understood his question and answered, ¡°No, not particularly. What he said is true, and he probably doesn¡¯t even know why I hit him.¡± Yue Zhishi suddenly broke into a laugh. ¡°But bullies are meant to be beat up. You probably don¡¯t know this, but he was even kicking people.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s mouth tightened. ¡°Don¡¯t participate in these sort of things anymore.¡±


    ¡°I know.¡± Yue Zhishi closed his eyes again. He felt like he was in a warm cocoon, and he emptied his mind. He softly opened his mouth and said, ¡°Actually, I¡¯ve almost forgotten how my parents look like.¡±


    Song Yu said, still patting him, ¡°Don¡¯t you have a picture on your bedside table?¡±


    ¡°Pictures can¡¯t move. It¡¯s not the same as the actual people.¡± Yue Zhishi then asked, ¡°Have you met them before?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± Song Yu thought about their names. His first memory of them was when they got married on a beach with a small arch woven with flowers. There weren¡¯t many guests, and he was one of the page boys. He shouldn¡¯t have been able to remember that moment in time, but it unexpectedly left him with a strong impression.


    It was his first experience of a beautiful and happy marriage.


    But most beautiful things shatter too easily.


    ¡°They were very good people.¡± Song Yu kept patting Yue Zhishi¡¯s thin back. ¡°Your mother was very pretty, and her pasta was very delicious. Her voice was very gentle, and she knew to speak a little bit of Chinese. Your father had a very interesting sense of humour. The birthday present he gave me was the most unusual one I¡¯ve ever received.¡±


    Yue Zhishi shifted against his shoulder, his words fuzzy and sounding as if he was falling asleep. ¡°What present?¡±


    ¡°A map he drew himself, with marks on places he¡¯s visited before,¡± Song Yu said. ¡°He told me I needed to explore the world.¡±


    He also told him that they could later go together to the places he marked.


    ¡°He didn¡¯t give me one.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s arms slightly tightened around him.


    Song Yu thought he¡¯d probably wanted to wait until he accomplished something new or reached a new peak in his career before drawing one for him ¡ª but Song Yu couldn¡¯t say his thoughts out loud. Little by little, Yue Zhishi fell asleep as Song Yu continued lightly his patting. Song Yu tried loosening his arms, but it was almost like Yue Zhishi could feel it in his sleep and snuggled in closer to make up for any open distance.


    Even at Yue Zhishi¡¯s current age, soothing him to sleep still took enormous amounts of effort.


    Yue Zhishi slept deeply, and he was alone by himself in the bed when his alarm rang. The afternoon lunch break was very short. Only ten or so minutes had passed when he checked his watch, but he felt completely recharged and full of energy. He stayed under Song Yu¡¯s blanket in a daze for a little while before he rolled and bundled himself inside the entire blanket. He rolled again and unwrapped himself.


    So comfortable.


    There were two knocks on the door. Yue Zhishi lifted his head and saw Song Yu standing at the door, wearing a new set of his uniform and his two hands neatly tying his school tie. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡±


    ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll be quick.¡±


    Standing at the entrance to the house, Yue Zhishi specifically checked his appearance in the mirror. His eye may be swollen, but luckily he had large eyes. He would be too ugly otherwise. His mouth looked slightly better than before, and Yue Zhishi lightly licked the corner.


    Such bitter-tasting ointment.


    Song Yu took him to school on his bike. The smell of roasted chestnuts reached him from far away, and as they waited at a red light, Yue Zhishi jumped off and bought a big bag to enjoy as he sat on the rear seat of Song Yu¡¯s bike. Song Yu parked his bike once they reached the school entrance, and he turned his head to see Qin Yan parking his bike as well, a devious, sneaky smile on his face. Qin Yan shook his head speechlessly, as if he¡¯d caught Song Yu in the middle of something good.


    ¡°You little bastard stood me up again for your little brother.¡±


    ¡°Shut up.¡± Song Yu turned around and got ready to leave, forgetting Yue Zhishi was next to him. He accidentally knocked into him and ended up pushing Yue Zhishi back half a step, the bag of roasted chestnuts in his hand almost falling onto the floor before Yue Zhishi tightly caught it.


    ¡°Ouch.¡± Yue Zhishi held his elbow, where bruises still remained from the morning¡¯s fight.


    Qin Yan acted as if he saw treasure and went to grasp onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulder ¡°Aiyah, let me see, let me see our Le Le¡¯s glorious achievements. You¡¯re so amazing, I didn¡¯t believe what I heard at first.¡±


    Yue Zhishi looked up at him and seriously said, ¡°This isn¡¯t anything glorious.¡±


    ¡°Pfft.¡± Qin Yan couldn¡¯t hold back his laughter, cracking up harder the longer he laughed. ¡°Your little brother¡¯s heart is too big, he even knows fighting isn¡¯t a good thing.¡±


    Song Yu was too lazy to bother with him and said to Yue Zhishi, ¡°Don¡¯t stay in your classroom after your night self-study session ends. If you have homework to do, come to our fifth floor activity room.¡±


    Each floor in the high school buildings had its own activity room, made especially for students who wanted a quiet space for memorisation during self-study times.


    ¡°Really?¡± Yue Zhishi was elated. He grinned, the corner of his mouth throbbing with pain, before he pressed down on his mouth. ¡°I can really go?¡±


    ¡°Of course, you just have to report my name¡­¡± Qin Yan wanted to hold onto him, but Yue Zhishi slipped away to Song Yu¡¯s side, leaving his arm dangling in the air. ¡°Ah?¡±


    Song Yu glanced at Yue Zhishi. ¡°Go in first.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded, and obediently walked toward the school doors. He walked only a few steps before he remembered and turned back around to stuff the paper bag of roasted chestnuts into Song Yu¡¯s hand. He said, ¡°I can¡¯t finish this.¡± He hummed in agreement when Song Yu said, ¡°Wait for me after school,¡± and quickly left.


    The bag felt quite heavy. Song Yu opened it and saw peeled chestnuts, round and golden in colour and still slightly warm.


    ¡°Aiyooo, having a little brother must be¡­¡±


    ¡°Shut up.¡±


    ¨C


    Maybe because he knew he would be heading to the opposite building¡¯s fifth floor after night self-study, but Yue Zhishi was in a fantastic mood the entire afternoon, even though more than five people came over to moan about his face.


    He started packing up as soon as self-study finished, surprising Jiang Yufan. Jiang Yufan flew over to his seat with his bag and asked, ¡°You¡¯re not staying longer for homework tonight?¡±


    ¡°Nope.¡±


    Jiang Yufan could clearly hear Yue Zhishi¡¯s mood from that one word. It felt like when people were chatting online, and they added a ¡®hehe¡¯ after their words ¡ª Yue Zhishi¡¯s answer carried that innate sense of giddiness and happiness.


    ¡°Then let¡¯s leave together. I¡¯m hungry and craving some hot dry noodles, dunno if the stall is open today.¡±


    ¡°But I¡¯m heading over to the fifth floor activity room in the high school building.¡± Yue Zhishi looked apologetic. ¡°We can walk through the corridor together though.¡±


    So that¡¯s what it was.


    Yue Zhishi happily climbed up the stairs to the fifth floor. The activity room was right next to Song Yu¡¯s classroom, and year 3 was coincidentally having a break when he arrived. The corridor was full of people, and Yue Zhishi¡¯s junior high school uniform caught everyone¡¯s eyes.


    ¡°Hey, isn¡¯t he Song Yu¡¯s¡­¡±


    Having been recognised, Yue Zhishi suddenly remembered his black eye and rushed past them with his head lowered. He dived into the activity room and didn¡¯t look at Song Yu¡¯s class at all.


    The activity room wasn¡¯t large. It held only eight desks and two small sofas, along with one whiteboard. Yue Zhishi was surprised when he saw another junior high school uniform in the room ¡ª she looked familiar, and Yue Zhishi thought she may also be in the same year as him. Yue Zhishi had just sat down near a window when Qin Yan walked in, hand holding a bunch of snacks. Qin Yan dumped the snacks all onto his desk. ¡°Le Le, eat some if you¡¯re hungry.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Qin Yan gege.¡±


    The bell rang after they¡¯d just spoken a few words, and Qin Yan swiftly left for his classroom. Yue Zhishi looked at the snacks on his desk and found that cheese-flavoured yoghurt once again. He didn¡¯t touch anything else, opening only that carton of yoghurt, and gulped down a big mouthful.


    ¡°Classmate.¡±


    Hearing someone speak, Yue Zhishi lifted his head. It was the junior high female classmate he noticed earlier. Yue Zhishi raised his eyebrows. ¡°What is it?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re Yue Zhishi, right?¡± She ran over carrying her vocabulary book, looking very friendly. ¡°You helped my class¡¯s Cheng Mingming earlier today. You were so cool.¡±


    Yue Zhishi felt a bit awkward and leaned back against his chair. ¡°It wasn¡¯t actually¡­¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be modest, you¡¯re famous now. A lot of girls in my class are talking about you.¡±


    Seeing she wanted to continue talking, Yue Zhishi tried to change the topic. ¡°How come you¡¯re here? You¡¯re not going home?¡±


    She laughed. ¡°Well, I¡¯m studying. And conveniently waiting for my boyfriend to finish class.¡±


    Boy, boyfriend?


    That girl, seeing Yue Zhishi¡¯s wide eyes, then asked, ¡°What about you?¡±

 CH 20

    Chapter 20: Brown Sugar Steamed Rice Cakes


    ¡°Me?¡± Yue Zhishi slowly blinked. ¡°I¡¯m waiting for Senior Song Yu.¡±


    The girl¡¯s face was full of curiosity. ¡°Are you guys really brothers? Do you live together?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re not blood related.¡± Yue Zhishi replied only to her first question, then looked down and opened his workbook. He said, lightly, ¡°We should study¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh, yes, that¡¯s right,¡± she answered in awareness. She glanced over at a senior who was facing the corner of a wall trying to memorise her studies and said to him very softly, ¡°I¡¯ll go back now, I won¡¯t disturb you any longer. Let¡¯s talk next time!¡±


    ¡®Next time¡¯? Does that mean she studies here every day?


    After two seconds of thought, Yue Zhishi slightly enviously unlocked a new place in his map of self-study locations. He tried to focus, but it felt too different studying in this room compared to his usual classroom.  Whether he stayed behind in his classroom to work on his questions or paced back and forth in the corridor reciting his lessons while waiting for high school year 3 to finish ¡ª no matter what he did, they were all his own one-sided actions. It couldn¡¯t even be called ¡®waiting¡¯, because waiting required two people: one to wait, and one to be waited for.


    It was different this time. It was no longer an unauthorised, arbitrary waiting.


    As he thought this, Yue Zhishi lifted his eyes and looked across at the girl. She was messaging on her phone, smiling very sweetly. She should be chatting to her boyfriend. He was about to bite his pen while being lost in thought, but he suddenly thought of Song Yu¡¯s face and managed to hold back.


    He and Song Yu¡­ they weren¡¯t quite the same as those two.


    The bell rang just as he finished his last question. Afraid Song Yu would need to wait for him, Yue Zhishi packed his stuff as quickly as he could, but next door seemed to be delayed with no one coming to the door. Yue Zhishi stood at the rear door of class 3-5, peering inside, and saw Song Yu reading a book with his head lowered, a silver pair of glasses perched on his nose. He was slightly near-sighted and usually didn¡¯t need to wear glasses, putting them on only when he needed to use his eyes for a long amount of time.


    Yue Zhishi really liked Song Yu¡¯s occasional squints and frowns when he wasn¡¯t wearing his glasses. He couldn¡¯t explain why, but he liked it when Song Yu looked like that.


    The students sitting near the back door noticed the junior high student standing near them, and they turned their heads to look at him as they whispered. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t notice anything at first until he heard someone softly say, ¡°Isn¡¯t that Song Yu¡¯s little brother?¡± He remembered once again and immediately covered his bruised eye. He felt like standing there with his hand over his eye was also very strange, so he dodged away from the door.


    ¡°Why do you look more afraid than I do?¡± The girl from before stood openly outside the classroom, looking as if she wasn¡¯t worried at all about being caught by a teacher or a fellow student. ¡°This place is part of Peiya. I¡¯m a Peiya student, so it¡¯s perfectly reasonable for me to be here.¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought about it. ¡°That¡¯s true.¡± He moved to stand next to her. Before two seconds passed, he took one step to the right and widened the distance between them.


    Since the class was technically over, the teacher soon came out and specifically gazed at Yue Zhishi¡¯s face. The students inside the room were all very enthusiastic about finishing class for the day except for Song Yu, who took his time packing away his things. A few senior sisters came out hand-in-hand and surrounded Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°You must be the little brother living with Song Yu.¡±


    ¡°Are you mixed? You¡¯re very cute.¡±


    ¡°Are your eyelashes real?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was used to being surrounded by people and didn¡¯t think too much of it, answering their questions one by one. ¡°Yes, I am. Yes. Yes, my eyelashes are real.¡±


    A large crowd gathered outside the classroom windows, Qin Yan looking at them with interest. He started teasing Song Yu again. ¡°Your brother¡¯s just as popular as you are, interesting both senior and junior sisters alike.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t say anything and merely walked outside with his bag. Yue Zhishi saw him come out as he stood by the window frame and immediately lifted his arm and waved, eyes bright. He squeezed past the senior sisters surrounding him. ¡°Excuse me seniors, I¡¯m going home now.¡±


    It was already late autumn, the cold wind twirling unavoidably around their necks and feet like a little human-shaped genie. As they went down the stairs, Yue Zhishi noticed the girl from earlier walking side by side with a short year 3 senior brother, leaning against each other as they descended the crowded and dim stairs. They even sneakily held each other¡¯s hands before quickly letting go.


    He looked at Song Yu as they left the stairs. He wanted to say something, but it was very strange ¡ª he couldn¡¯t think about what he should say. He eventually asked, ¡°Is my eye still really ugly?¡±


    Song Yu stared at him and stayed silent. Yue Zhishi covered his right eye again in embarrassment and then heard Song Yu gently laugh.


    So weird.


    There were many people leaving the school. They separated to look for their own bikes at the bike parking area, and Yue Zhishi noticed something wasn¡¯t right when he took out his key to unlock his bike. Song Yu rolled his bicycle over and saw him kneeling and fiddling with his bike on the floor. He didn¡¯t look the slightest bit surprised. ¡°Something wrong?¡±


    ¡°The tire¡¯s been slashed.¡± Yue Zhishi knelt there, finger poking the flat tire a few times. He then tilted his head to look at Song Yu. ¡°Even though this is a bit cynical, I think Wang Jie and his friends did this.¡±


    Something so obvious wasn¡¯t cynical at all. Song Yu got on his bike. ¡°Get on.¡±


    ¡°Then what about my bike?¡± Yue Zhishi may have opened his mouth and asked, but he had already locked his bike again.


    ¡°We can talk about it when it¡¯s daylight.¡±


    Yue Zhishi obediently sat on the backseat and actively offered to help Song Yu carry his bag. Song Yu¡¯s bag was much heavier than he expected, the weight of it almost breaking his thighs. Perhaps his legs would be completely numb after a while and would immediately give way if he tried to walk. He would stumble into Song Yu¡¯s arms, and then Song Yu would carry him on his back like he used to as a child.


    As the bicycle travelled out of the school, Yue Zhishi hid behind Song Yu¡¯s back and laughed, his brain full of imagined scenes.


    The late-night food stalls near the school entrance looked almost like a little night market, each of them set up with stoves and furnaces to heat up the cool late autumn night. The fried rice stall owner had a cigarette in his mouth while he tossed his wok back and forth, the grains of rice flying up and down as the tantalising scent arrowed straight into people¡¯s noses. Duck necks covered in chilli oil were also strung together and tossed over an open fire after being stewed full of flavour. Once the spices were added, the duck necks came alive with taste. A claypot even simmered with a three combination flavour vermicelli noodle soup, aromatic clouds rising up to the nose once the lid was lifted.


    As he sat at the back, Yue Zhishi thought of something and asked, ¡°Song Yu gege, did you finish the roasted chestnuts?¡±


    Song Yu leisurely replied, ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Actually, you could¡¯ve given some to Qin Yan gege if you didn¡¯t finish them.¡± Yue Zhishi heard the sound of wood knocking against each other and tried to look for where the sound came from. He said, ¡°He¡¯s always giving me snacks.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t reply.


    Yue Zhishi found it. ¡°Steamed rice cakes!¡± He excitedly patted Song Yu¡¯s back a few times, asking him to stop the bike.


    Song Yu pressed the brakes and stopped where he requested, right in front of a very simple stall. A large square steamer held a delicate wooden device made of two separate parts, a common cylinder below and a long-handled lotus shaped wooden cover with a hollow centre sitting on top. The stall¡¯s old grandfather warmly welcomed them. ¡°Are you here for some rice cakes? Three yuan for two, they¡¯re very sweet.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded. ¡°I want two, please. Can you add a bit more brown sugar?¡±


    ¡°Of course I can.¡± The old grandfather¡¯s movements were quick, scooping out a large spoonful of flour mix from a container, a combination of rice flour, glutinous rice flour and sugar. He poured it into the bottom of the cylinder before sprinkling on a thick layer of brown sugar, creating two layers before covering it with the wooden cover and placing it into the steamer to cook.


    As they waited, Yue Zhishi heard Song Yu speak. ¡°You almost burned yourself the first time you tried this.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± He twisted his head, entirely no memory of it whatsoever. ¡°I don¡¯t remember.¡±


    ¡°You never remember.¡± Song Yu kept his eyes on the device. The warm yellow lighting from the night market and the rising puffs of steam softened his profile. ¡°Dad was carrying you, and you were saying the toy looked fun. You reached out to touch it and started wailing from the hot steam.¡±


    It sounded vaguely familiar. ¡°Then what were you doing?¡±


    The cakes finished steaming as they spoke. The old grandfather opened the device and pressed the long handle against the cylinder to push out the rice cakes. The steaming cakes popped out and were wrapped inside a plastic bag.


    ¡°Me?¡± Song Yu took the rice cakes. ¡°I was laughing at you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was a bit depressed and said seriously, ¡°If you were crying because of a burn, I wouldn¡¯t laugh at you.¡±


    Song Yu gave him the cakes. ¡°You would cry instead.¡± He walked towards his bicycle.


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t cry these days.¡± Yue Zhishi followed behind him and then thought about the afternoon. He then added, ¡°¡­unless you make me cry.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t have that kind of hobby.¡±


    Since he was always crying as a child, there must¡¯ve been a reason behind it.


    He decided it was all Song Yu¡¯s fault.


    The steamed rice cakes in the bag were almost hot enough to burn his hands. Yue Zhishi wanted to try some, and so looked inside the bag. The layer of brown sugar was indeed thickly applied and was shaped like a heart. He bit down and almost spat out his bite from the heat. But he couldn¡¯t help but greedily chew a few times, the cooked rice flour stretching and melting as the brown sugar inside started to dissolve. It was a heavy yet uncomplicated sweetness. In Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart, melted white sugar was just like dew drops on top of lotus leaves. When he was younger, he¡¯d thought those little beautiful, transparent drops of dew must definitely be sweet, while brown sugar was like the stickily sweet outside skin of a roasted sweet potato, the pleasure of it doubling during cold days.


    Song Yu noticed he wasn¡¯t catching up, so he looked back and saw him standing in his original spot with his mouth open, white fog coming out of his mouth and looking like a human-shaped humidifier.


    ¡°Is it good?¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded and ran over, stuffing the other cake into Song Yu¡¯s hand. He said, words unclear, ¡°Hurry and eat yours.¡±


    Song Yu took a bite, thought it was too sweet and chucked it back to Yue Zhishi. He took him back home on his bike.


    ¡°Can I study in your activity room tomorrow too?¡±


    ¡°If you want to come, then come.¡±


    ¡°Will the teachers check?¡± Yue Zhishi suddenly remembered and grasped Song Yu¡¯s clothes. ¡°A girl from my next door class also studies there. She¡¯s dating one of the boys in your class. She¡¯s dating before university.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not your fault at all.¡±


    ¡°True.¡± But he was still a bit scared. ¡°Can I say I¡¯m your little brother? If people ask.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t reply. They were almost at their neighbourhood when he said a single ¡°yes¡±. The two of them went up together, Lin Rong and Song Jin still out on their business trip. Yue Zhishi changed his shoes and collapsed onto the sofa, pulling the cat onto his knees and flipping him onto his back to rub his stomach. The cat squinted at him. ¡°Orange, are you sleepy?¡±


    Orange let out a comfortable grumble in his arms. Yue Zhishi continued stroking him. ¡°I ate too much, and now I¡¯m not sleepy anymore. Song Yu gege, can I watch two episodes of One Piece before sleeping?¡±


    Song Yu picked up the little Pomeranian frantically circling around his legs to bring him upstairs with him. ¡°Wake up 15 minutes earlier tomorrow. I¡¯ll take you to school.¡±


    Yue Zhishi jumped up and forgot about the cat. ¡°Then I¡¯ll clean up and go to sleep now.¡±


    Meow¡ª¡ª


    The brutally abandoned master of a cat stretched out his paws and fiercely swiped in the air at Yue Zhishi¡¯s retreating back to show his authority.

 CH 21

    Chapter 21: Failed Revenge


    For two straight weeks, Yue Zhishi¡¯s method of transportation was Song Yu¡¯s backseat. His happiness remained consistently at its peak. He felt like there was a reason behind Song Yu¡¯s bringing him to and from school and allowing him to study in the fifth floor activity room, but he¡¯d always had a magnanimous heart and never closely examined anything that happened to him.


    Even though an uncle at a nearby repair shop had long repaired his bicycle, he kept it at the school entrance and didn¡¯t use it. All the excuses and reasoning he prepared in advance were enough to fill up an entire excel sheet, waiting for the day Song Yu wanted to get rid of him, but he never had the chance to pull a single one of them out.


    Winter seemed to be competing with the end of the semester to see who could arrive faster. The two of them eventually arrived together at the same time without warning and caught Yue Zhishi unaware.


    It was soon time for the semester exams. The school requested the junior high year 3 students to attend an extra half day of class on the Saturday morning right before the monthly break, and the high school year 3 students were asked to attend an extra day. The Peiya that was originally known for no remedial lessons also ended up providing them.


    Yue Zhishi originally wanted to stay until the afternoon to go home together with Song Yu, but the seasonal flu season had slaughtered through the entire school. Other than the disinfected classrooms being used for lessons, students were not allowed to enter anywhere else. Yue Zhishi could only go home first by himself.


    He stood at the entrance to the corridor and wrote a text message to Song Yu, explaining the situation.


    He received a reply one second after pressing send ¡ª a simple ¡®okay¡¯.


    It¡¯d been a very long time since he went home with Jiang Yufan. On a whim, Yue Zhishi invited him to have lunch with him at Aunt Rong¡¯s private restaurant. Jiang Yufan had heard long ago that her restaurant was super difficult to book, so he couldn¡¯t be more excited and wanted to call home to let his parents know. But he didn¡¯t have his cellphone with him.


    Yue Zhishi pulled his out. ¡°Use mine, luckily I brought it today.¡±


    Coming out the math teachers¡¯ office, Song Yu glanced at the third floor corridor. Most of the junior high students were already gone, with only a few students dawdling still. Their talking voices echoed loudly in the empty space around them.


    He took a quick look into the activity room as he passed it. Workers were inside disinfecting it.


    Qin Yan just then ran over from the staircase, hand carrying a takeaway bag. He greeted him and said, ¡°Let¡¯s go, our fried chicken just arrived. What did Old Zhang want you for?¡±


    ¡°Nothing much, just some competition stuff.¡±


    ¡°I had to wait so long for the delivery driver to find the drop off place, I¡¯m going to freeze to death.¡± Even though Peiya wasn¡¯t strict with their students, food delivery drivers still couldn¡¯t enter the school. Students could only pick up their orders through the fence railings.


    Qin Yan rubbed his hands together and took out the fried chicken box from inside the bag. ¡°While I was waiting, I saw a couple¡¯s entire fierce argument. Good thing I¡¯m single¡­¡± He took a sip of his coke. ¡°I also saw a few young people getting ready to fight. Once they pulled off their uniforms and chucked away their cigarettes, it almost looked like one of those mafia movies.¡±


    With the windows closed, the sound of the outside wind screeched like fingernails scratching down a blackboard. Song Yu frowned and put down the chopsticks he¡¯d just picked up. ¡°Were they junior high students?¡±


    ¡°How¡¯d you know?¡± Qin Yan stuffed his mouth with some fried chicken, garbling his words as he continued describing what he saw. ¡°There was a tall and skinny guy with a crew cut, a little fatty and a bony guy with dyed brown hair. Everyone else I saw weren¡¯t students from our school, dunno if they were students from other schools or gangsters. They didn¡¯t look like the type you¡¯d want to annoy, not even trying to hide as they smoked in the parking lot. Are all junior high students like that now¡­¡±


    Song Yu got up to leave without waiting for him to finish speaking.


    ¡°Hey, where you going? Not eating anymore?¡±


    ¡°I have something to do.¡±


    He tried calling Yue Zhishi twice, the line busy each time. Song Yu ran to the bicycle parking zone and immediately noticed Yue Zhishi¡¯s bike was gone. It was particularly obvious when a bicycle that was there every day suddenly disappeared. He rode his own bike towards the direction of his house at an unprecedented speed.


    Song Yu waited at a red light at a fork in the road, the busy line signal still playing through his wireless earphones. He redialed.


    [I¡¯m sorry, your call could not be connected.]


    The northern wind at the intersection blew hard enough to make one frustrated. The light for the other road flashed green, and the bicyclists next to him flew across. Song Yu looked at it. It was a road he normally wouldn¡¯t take.


    It took six stops on the bus to go home, and it wasn¡¯t considered a short amount of time. When riding his bike, Yue Zhishi liked to take little shortcuts, cutting through a residential alleyway waiting to be demolished to save himself some time. Song Yu knew this, even though he didn¡¯t go home with him often.


    That old alleyway hadn¡¯t been so lively in a very long time.


    All the big green trashcans at the entrance to the alley have been kicked over to spill onto the floor. Wang Jie chewed his gum, looking like a little gangster, the people next to him throwing their cigarettes onto the floor before they stamped them out with the soles of their feet. Seeing the marks left behind by the cigarette ashes, Yue Zhishi thought of the villains in many of his manga series who liked to forcefully leave behind some signs of their existence with their ugly posturing.


    ¡°Just because you guys have more people!¡± Jiang Yufan stood in front of Yue Zhishi. ¡°So unlucky, start something at school if you have the guts!¡±


    Wang Jie spat out his mouthful of gum, and it landed on the floor right in front of Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°Are you worth me fighting you one on one?¡± Wang Jie had just finished speaking when the tall and strong looking boy behind him grasped his shoulder and considered Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°It must be you making things hard for my bro. Your little face is quite pretty, do you like the spotlight that much?¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t reply, his expression excessively calm. In reality, he was thinking this time he must definitely dodge and not let them hit his face, and he must definitely smash Wang Jie¡¯s face this time. After the fight last time, he watched an entire night of various fighting videos in regret, growing more unsatisfied with his own performance the more he watched.


    His absentmindedness during this moment caused great affront to that big bro. ¡°I¡¯m talking to you!¡± He advanced and forcefully pushed Yue Zhishi¡¯s chest.


    Jiang Yufan grew frantic. ¡°What are you doing! Don¡¯t touch him!¡±


    Yue Zhishi took off his schoolbag and handed it to Jiang Yufan, hinting at him with his eyes before he turned around and said to the strong-looking boy, ¡°This has nothing to do with him, let him go.¡±


    ¡°This little fellow sure is good to his friends.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not leaving.¡± Jiang Yufan also wanted to take off his bag and chuck it together with Yue Zhishi¡¯s onto the ground, but Yue Zhishi stopped him and said, ¡°Hold my bag, don¡¯t let it get dirty.¡±


    Or else how would he explain it to Song Yu.


    Wang Jie stared at him, looking as if he wanted to fight him himself, but he was once again pulled back by the guy in the black clothes. He couldn¡¯t move and could only yell, ¡°Yue Zhishi, come over here, I¡¯ll fix things for you.¡±


    ¡°Fix what, I still need to go home for lunch.¡± Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t care about him and swept his eyes across the people in front of him. A bird flew across from the rooftops, its shadow passing over his pupils. ¡°Are you all coming up together?¡±


    His words were drowned out by the sounds of a bicycle braking and falling onto the ground. No one heard his perfectly heroic declaration right before a fight. But Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t discouraged at all, because the person who arrived was Song Yu.


    The moment Song Yu turned his head to look at them, his hair was blown into a rare moment of disarray by the wind. The messy hair looked very good on him, and even the alarm on his face was able to move someone¡¯s heart. His bicycle was chucked behind him, and the thick outer coat of his uniform was also chucked into a corner ¡ª he clearly had a light obsession with cleanliness, but he didn¡¯t stop to consider at all if something was dirty or how he should later tidy things up.


    Song Yu headed towards him with long strides as the light shined on his back. In Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart, this was the exact image of a hero arriving to save the day.


    Song Yu grabbed him by the arm and dragged him bodily behind him, just like when they were younger.


    ¡°Who the fuck is this?¡± The strong-looking boy glanced at Wang Jie, looking rather dissatisfied with the expansion of the battlefield. Wang Jie also looked annoyed at this sudden unexpected appearance.


    ¡°I¡¯m his older brother.¡± Song Yu took off his watch and passed it to Yue Zhishi. ¡°Stand further away.¡±


    Song Yu spoke to him in a very low, somewhat gentle voice. Yue Zhishi moved to stand in the wind and stared at the watch in his hands ¡ª it didn¡¯t look much different from when he¡¯d first bought it, still clean and new. It didn¡¯t look like it¡¯d been used for four years. The second hand ticked along on the watch face, and his heart accelerated with it.


    The other person wasn¡¯t as tall, but he wasn¡¯t afraid with his larger amount of people. He even looked Song Yu up and down, deliberately provocative. ¡°So? You here to take his hits?¡±


    Song Yu lifted his eyes, and the blue vein at the end of his eyebrow quietly twitched.


    ¡°I¡¯m here to hit people for him.¡±


    He was still in elementary school the last time Song Yu fought in front of him.


    That was when Yue Zhishi was being bullied the heaviest. He¡¯d greedily taken a few bites of the school provided cookies, and large sheets of red and swollen rashes had appeared on his face. After they saw the rashes, some of the boys who¡¯d previously ostracised him taunted him, saying he¡¯d turned so ugly, and surrounded him in a circle to stuff a few more cookies into his mouth. Too much time have passed, and Yue Zhishi no longer remembered how he¡¯d begged for help. He only remembered how Song Yu looked when he arrived, standing in front and sheltering him from everyone else just like a manga hero.


    But they didn¡¯t have a cool ending like in a manga series. One of them was decorated by fighting marks, and the other was disfigured by his allergic reactions. Lin Rong forced them to sit in at the entrance of Yanghe Qizhe like official mascots.


    In comparison to a fully experienced Yue Zhishi, Jiang Yufan clearly had no idea what he was seeing.


    ¡°Wait ¡ª no way ¡ª your brother is this awesome¡­..¡± He watched as Song Yu, by himself, flipped the strong-looking boy. The remaining other people hesitated to get closer.


    Yue Zhishi held onto the watch. ¡°He¡¯s taken taekwondo lessons.¡± He then added, ¡°I have too.¡±


    Jiang Yufan stared at a tranquil Yue Zhishi with two wide eyes.


    No wonder he fought one versus four last time in the bathroom.


    The ¡®big bro¡¯ Wang Jie brought with him was nothing more than another paper tiger. Song Yu had seen this from the moment he entered the alleyway. He¡¯d worried that the guy would¡¯ve hidden some sharp weapons on his body, but after observing for a while, he noticed his clothes didn¡¯t have any pockets. His hands didn¡¯t have a single callus, so rather than calling him strong, it was probably better to describe him as someone with a high level of body fat.


    If the ringleader could be defeated first, it would be stupid to fight the followers instead. Song Yu didn¡¯t want to waste too much time on this scuffle, so he gave him a few side kicks to his chest. He couldn¡¯t hit too hard, or else he would have to worry about being pulled into the police station. He could only use clever methods to dispose of this big bro.


    ¡°Zhang ge!¡±


    Other than Wang Jie, the other people circled around Song Yu. A little bro with dyed red hair jumped up and wrapped his arms around the back of Song Yu¡¯s neck, wanting to pin him down for everyone else.


    Song Yu frowned and looked a bit annoyed. He grabbed the guy¡¯s arms and threw him over his shoulder to land heavily on the ground, the dust rising from the impact.


    No one dared to come closer after a succession of force. The Zhang ge on the ground was just about to get up when Song Yu kicked him again, several times in a row, to the point where Song Yu would only just lift his leg and the other guy would shrink backwards in reflex.


    ¡°Want to try again?¡± Song Yu asked.


    ¡°I¡¯m so fucking unlucky today,¡± the guy cursed as he retreated.


    Song Yu stood there with his arms hanging by his side. He rotated his wrists and said, face still clear of any expression, ¡°Don¡¯t touch him again. If I find out, things won¡¯t be as simple as today.¡±


    Yue Zhishi watched as Zhang ge stood up with his trembling fat body. He was just like one of those unimpressive villains in many manga series, retreating with a grey face surrounded by his people while spitting out words like ¡®I¡¯ll be back¡¯.


    Wang Jie was the angriest. Nothing had gone according to his plans. His eyes landed angrily on Song Yu, and his fists clenched.


    ¡°Don¡¯t even think about it.¡± Song Yu didn¡¯t bother to even look at him and went to pick up his outer coat from the ground.


    ¡°I¡¯m not interested in fighting a child.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Qin Yan: Yet another day of being stood up

 CH 22

    Chapter 22: Method of Resolving Things


    Song Yu¡¯s words seemed to poke at Wang Jie¡¯s sore spot. He turned to look furiously at Yue Zhishi.


    What are you staring at, I still want to give you a punch back in the face. Yue Zhishi rudely glared back at him.


    Song Yu walked towards Yue Zhishi, took back his watch and lowered his head to carefully put it back on. ¡°If they bully you, you can hit them back to let them understand you¡¯re not someone who can be bullied by just anyone. But if you keep punching them and I keep kicking them, then there¡¯s no way we¡¯ll be able to end things. Nothing is ever that simple.¡±


    He gazed into Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes. ¡°You need to learn how to handle and solve issues by yourself.¡±


    Jiang Yufan had been seriously holding onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s schoolbag in the corner, not making a single sound. As soon as he saw Song Yu come over, he very respectfully called out a ¡®Senior Song Yu¡¯. Song Yu gave him a slight nod and took Yue Zhishi¡¯s bag from his hand.


    Naturally, Yue Zhishi understand what Song Yu was trying to say. This matter couldn¡¯t keep dragging on until it turned into something from a television drama, where each party tried to get revenge on each other until no one knew how the situation truly started. Even though Wang Jie bullied classmates, charged protection fees and even cursed people, the words he said to Yue Zhishi at that time weren¡¯t truly aimed at him.


    Yue Zhishi rubbed the tip of his noise, stealing a glance at Song Yu, and gathered up his courage to walk towards Wang Jie. Wang Jie thought he wanted to hit him and said, posture already hostile, ¡°Don¡¯t think I¡¯m afraid of you just because your brother¡¯s here! I¡­¡±


    ¡°Do you still remember the last thing you yelled at me that time in the bathroom?¡± Yue Zhishi looked at Wang Jie¡¯s eyes.


    The emotions in Yue Zhishi¡¯s large eyes were almost imperceptible, but Wang Jie saw them and felt very uneasy. ¡°If you want to hit then hit, what are you blabbering¡­¡± His words drawled away. He suddenly remembered what happened that day.


    Yue Zhishi continued, ¡°You were right. That¡¯s why I was angry.¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± Wang Jie¡¯s words were caught in his throat. He got into fights, skipped classes, ran away from school, bullied classmates ¡ª he did everything teachers didn¡¯t want students to do. He¡¯d long grown numb to it all. These little things were nothing to him. He was just an uneducated, unskilled little punk who knew exactly what his future held: he would become a grown up punk who did nothing but laze around all day.


    He never expected to feel guilt over something he¡¯d yelled at someone in a fit of anger.


    ¡°But it was wrong of me to hit you.¡± Yue Zhishi lowered his eyes. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    This was completely out of his expectations. Wang Jie was a bit lost. He¡¯d only wanted to take some revenge on the meddlesome Yue Zhishi, so he slashed his tires and looked for people to give him a little scare, so that he would never again dare to pretend to be a hero. But after hearing Yue Zhishi¡¯s words and seeing the traces of a bruise still on his face, Wang Jie was slightly flustered. At the end of it all, he was the only person trying to make himself seem stronger than he actually was.


    ¡°You¡­ don¡¯t give me that kind of pathetic look.¡± Wang Jie pretended to bluster, but his fingers were clutching his school pants. ¡°Just look at your panda eyes. Since I¡¯ve hit you as well, let¡¯s just call it even.¡±


    His voice weakened. ¡°That¡­ that thing I said, I didn¡¯t mean it. I¡¯m not that disgusting of a person.¡±


    Jiang Yufan interrupted in a low voice. ¡°But you still bully other students¡­¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s because he talked shit about me first, he said my dad¡­¡± Wang Jie abruptly stopped. He looked very angry but also slightly awkward. ¡°¡­He spread rumours about my family and even got our teacher to go through my desk and bag just by saying I stole from him. I may not have money, but I¡¯ve never stolen his money!¡± He was a bit agitated by this point, eyes turning red, but he very quickly remembered he¡¯d had issues with the people in front of him. His tone changed. ¡°¡­If he wants to lie about something, then I¡¯ll just go ahead and do it. What can he do? Cheng Mingming was asking for it!¡±


    It looked like even he knew his words were unreasonable, as a flush spread across his face to his ears.


    Yue Zhishi silently listened to him speak, his attention caught by his face. He suddenly realised the world was more complicated than he¡¯d thought. Even he himself wasn¡¯t solely a saviour filled with only courage and righteousness ¡ª it¡¯s just that he¡¯d heard the phase ¡®no parents¡¯ and had a part of his damaged heart stabbed. That was the only reason why he acted so unlike himself and rushed out to save Cheng Mingming.


    The person being saved, the person doing the saving, and the person committing the violence ¡ª not one of them was as black and white as the characters in a shounen manga. At this point in time, he couldn¡¯t tell whether it was Cheng Mingming or Wang Jie who was the victim in a case of school violence and who was the actual perpetrator. Maybe it was because they both played both roles that the violence and humiliation endlessly cycled between them.


    Maybe this was what Song Yu meant by being unable to end things.


    ¡°But that doesn¡¯t mean you can bully classmates. That¡¯s wrong too.¡± Even though the not very mature him couldn¡¯t give them a way to break through the cycle, Yue Zhishi learned his lesson. He looked at Wang Jie¡¯s eyes and very seriously said, ¡°Just like how I shouldn¡¯t hit people.¡±


    Wang Jie was quiet for a few seconds, and Yue Zhishi gazed at him very directly, as if waiting for a response. Wang Jie had never met someone so strange before. He turned away his face awkwardly. ¡°I can¡¯t be bothered to argue with you. You¡¯re an obedient baby, a good student. I¡¯m not.¡±


    He then glanced at Song Yu, who was not very far away. Song Yu was looking at him too with a cool gaze. He was a bit afraid, but at the same time there was a subtle stirring of emotion in his heart. It felt like envy.


    It made him think of his most embarrassing childhood memories, and it made him slightly uncomfortable.


    Wang Jie cleared his throat. ¡°I¡¯m leaving. I¡¯m also sorry about today.¡± He pulled out a crumpled 20 yuan note from his pocket and slapped it into Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand. ¡°For your tire. I was saying how stupid this all was, but they were all egging me on. Now I even have to pay you back. Let me tell you, we¡¯re clear from now on. Let¡¯s pretend we don¡¯t know each other at school and keep clear of each other.¡±


    After finishing his words, he picked up his school coat from the floor, shook off some of the dust and turned around to walk towards the opposite alleyway exit. His steps paused right before he turned the corner, ultimately turning to the right before he disappeared.


    Yue Zhishi lowered his head and looked at the note in his hand. There were some complicated feelings in his heart, but he didn¡¯t know how to describe them. He¡¯d originally thought it would be a grand and spectacular scene just like in television or manga series, him as the protagonist fighting back the bad guys before finally gaining victory.


    But he now realised there were few invincible protagonists in real life, and it was very difficult to find truly evil villains. They were all clumsy and awkward children, who would unintentionally do things because of their own impulsive natures. There were some who could laugh away those actions, but there were also some who would tumble deeper and deeper until their various emotions carried them away from their original intentions.


    If he¡¯d initially ignored Wang Jie¡¯s words, it was unlikely all these following things would have happened.


    However, if Yue Zhishi was given a chance to redo it, he would still choose to get angry at those words. But he would then choose to explain everything clearly to Wang Jie and request for him to apologise to his mother.


    The opposite alleyway exit was completely empty. Every single car on the street drove about frantically, but he didn¡¯t keep watching and turned away.


    He believed Wang Jie would¡¯ve apologised.


    Yue Zhishi arrived next to Song Yu while carrying those feelings. Song Yu passed over his bag and said, ¡°Go home for lunch.¡±


    ¡°Are you coming too?¡± Yue Zhishi raised his eyes.


    Song Yu faintly nodded, his face without a single trace of reproach. Yue Zhishi noticed and was very relieved. Jiang Yufan slid up next to him. ¡°This didn¡¯t develop the way I¡¯d thought it would. I thought you guys would have another fight.¡±


    ¡°We can¡¯t fight, fighting¡¯s not good,¡± Yue Zhishi strongly stressed to him, and to himself.


    Jiang Yufan patted his shoulder like a proud grandfather. ¡°Very good. You¡¯ve grown up.¡±


    The three of them biked back to the restaurant, Jiang Yufan slowly riding next to him in the back. Yue Zhishi noticed Song Yu rode with only one hand on his bike handle and felt it looked particularly cool. Jiang Yufan kept praising Song Yu, asking Yue Zhishi where he¡¯d learned his taekwondo because he now wanted to take lessons too ¡ª after adding everything together, Yue Zhishi thought Song Yu was cooler the longer he thought about it.


    This was the first time Yue Zhishi brought a friend to the restaurant. Lin Rong was especially happy, and she set about filling a large table with food: rice flour steamed pork ribs with pumpkin, steamed Wuchang-style fish, stir-fried chicken giblets with pepper¡­ Jiang Yufan was stunned.


    ¡°Are you still making more?¡± Yue Zhishi tried restraining Lin Rong. ¡°I think it¡¯s enough¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve been waiting for you guys for a while. Here, try this steamed beef brisket with vermicelli and chestnuts. This is the last batch of chestnuts from autumn. After this, we¡¯ll have to wait another year.¡± Lin Rong lifted the lid of the claypot, a heavy aroma wafting from inside. She placed a spoonful onto Jiang Yufan¡¯s bowl of rice. ¡°Hurry and eat, I¡¯ve been braising this for three hours. It should just melt in your mouth.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Auntie!¡± Jiang Yufan was a bit shocked and softly said to Yue Zhishi, ¡°Auntie is such a good person. She¡¯s so friendly and welcoming, not like Senior Song Yu at all.¡± His last words were particularly quiet.


    ¡°He¡¯s not like Uncle Song either,¡± Yue Zhishi also quietly said. ¡°Ge¡¯s personality is a bit of a throwback, he¡¯s like Lin Rong¡¯s dad.¡±


    ¡°Oh~ that makes sense.¡±


    Seeing Lin Rong focus her entire attention on the classmate he¡¯d brought over, Yue Zhishi glanced at Song Yu, worrying he might get jealous, and wanted to serve him some food. He lifted his chopsticks and thought about it for a while before finally choosing the spare rib resting at the very top. It was a thick and juicy piece and looked particularly appetising. He was about to pick it up with his chopsticks when Song Yu set down a bunch of mixed shredded vegetables into his bowl.


    ¡°You should eat more vegetables,¡± Song Yu calmly said.


    Yue Zhishi was very happy and quickly placed that piece of spare rib into Song Yu¡¯s bowl. He even gave the piece next to it to Jiang Yufan, before he very delightedly put a piece of shredded Manchurian wild rice into his mouth. He felt like the most thoughtful person in the world.


    After finishing all of her cooking, Lin Rong sat down as well. It was pretty much just her and Jiang Yufan conversing throughout the entire meal, gabbing about Yue Zhishi in school and even bringing up Yue Zhishi¡¯s childhood. Yue Zhishi would occasionally say a few words, but he mainly focused on eating. To him, eating was very important, and people needed to focus on savouring their food.


    ¡°Auntie, I heard Le Le say he used to learn taekwondo when he was younger.¡±


    Yue Zhishi lifted his head at those words.


    Lin Rong nodded. ¡°For a while. Gege took lessons for a longer amount of time.¡±


    Jiang Yufan then said, ¡°That¡¯s too cool. Why didn¡¯t I take any lessons when I was younger, my mom¡¯s useless.¡±


    ¡°Pfft,¡± Lin Rong laughed at him. ¡°I did think boys should learn some martial arts. I let them go because I thought they¡¯d look so handsome, and they could even strengthen their bodies. Especially for our Le Le, his body was so weak frail as a child, always getting sick. I even have a video of our Le Le struggling to kick the wooden boards with his little legs. He was so cute.¡±


    Yue Zhishi very seriously declared, ¡°My legs are the longest in the entire class.¡±


    ¡°Yes yes yes. But who doesn¡¯t have little legs to begin with?¡± Lin Rong continued, ¡°It was quite difficult for him. In order to learn just basic skills, he needed to run ten laps around the training ground.¡±


    Song Yu remembered something all of a sudden. He¡¯d been silent the entire time, so his abrupt laughter, while quiet, caught everyone¡¯s attention. The three of them looked at him, so Song Yu cleared his throat. ¡°It¡¯s nothing, I just remembered one time a certain someone couldn¡¯t run, so the instructor had to punish him.¡±


    Jiang Yufan could immediately tell he was referring to Yue Zhishi. ¡°What¡¯d he punish you with?¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought for a while, frowning, before he suddenly remembered. At that time, he was the youngest out of the entire class, only six-years-old ¡ª there was no way he could¡¯ve followed along. Running just one lap already meant his butt would fall to the ground, let alone ten laps. The instructor unsuccessfully tried all kinds of different ways to get him to run before he finally thought of a method: tying a traction belt around his waist. He attached the line to Song Yu, who ran in front of Yue Zhishi and pulled him along.


    Even though Song Yu darkened his face and said he didn¡¯t want to, he still listened to the instructor and ran, carrying the little package behind him. The two boys in their white taekwondo uniforms ran in tandem until they finished at sunset, wheezing and struggling the entire way.


    The instructor laughed as he undid the traction belt. ¡°Looks like it¡¯s nice to have an older brother. You can keep going if your brother¡¯s with you.¡±


    Thinking about it now, Yue Zhishi found it extremely embarrassing. He brought up various conversation topics to try to distract Jiang Yufan from the punishment. Jiang Yufan never focused too much on one thing, and with other things to talk about, he completely forgot to chase up what happened.


    ¡°Gege continued taekwondo until first year of high school. Le Le¡¯s body isn¡¯t as strong, so he stopped after graduating elementary. He¡¯s more suited to drawing classes anyway.¡±


    ¡°True, Le Le¡¯s manga drawings are super nice. He¡¯s always asked to do our blackboard announcements.¡±


    Yue Zhishi relaxed after the conversation moved on. He pouted at Song Yu, who pretended he didn¡¯t see him and calmly poured himself a bowl of soup. Song Yu didn¡¯t eat much. He took a while to finish his bowl of fish soup and, right when everyone was about to finish, asked if there was any dessert.


    Lin Rong was reminded by his question. ¡°That¡¯s right, I prepared a chestnut and taro cake today.¡± She got up and went to prepare, cutting the cake into pieces before she returned. ¡°One slice each.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want it,¡± Song Yu said.


    ¡°Then why¡¯d you ask if there was dessert?¡± Lin Rong asked. She then pushed his piece over to Yue Zhishi. ¡°Le Le, you eat it.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was very willing to eat a second piece of one of his favourite cakes. Most cakes in dessert stores were made with some form of wheat flour, and he could only look and not eat. He¡¯d been craving cake for a long time, and Lin Rong had been busy lately, unable to make him a delicious cake he could eat.


    The restaurant¡¯s head waiter called away Lin Rong for some matter, leaving behind only the three of them around the little round table. Song Yu¡¯s fingers tapped against his cup of black tea, and after a little bit of silence, he asked, ¡°How come your cellphone¡¯s turned off?¡±


    ¡°Hm?¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s mouth was stuffed full with cake. He doubtfully blinked his eyes before looking at Jiang Yufan, who only then remembered. ¡°Oh yes, his phone¡¯s with me.¡± He pulled out Yue Zhishi¡¯s cellphone from his pocket. It really was turned off.


    Jiang Yufan rubbed his hair. ¡°Sorry about that, I must¡¯ve used up all the battery during my phone call. My mom¡¯s super long-winded.¡±


    Song Yu glanced at Yue Zhishi in understanding. ¡°That¡¯s fine. Eat your cake.¡±


    Before Jiang Yufan left, Lin Rong packed a few other flavours of cake for him to take home before sending him out. Yue Zhishi wanted to walk him out, but he was so full he could barely move. Seeing Jiang Yufan waving him away, Yue Zhishi happily sat down on the marble steps in front of the entrance and followed him with his eyes, pretending to see him out.


    Song Yu walked out after a while and sat next to him with half an arm¡¯s length in between them.


    This felt very familiar, involuntarily reminding Yue Zhishi of the last time they sat here together as mascots. He almost couldn¡¯t help but laugh.


    He vaguely thought a photo of them may have been taken that day, but because of how ugly he¡¯d looked, a younger Yue Zhishi had refused to let Lin Rong keep the photo in an album and clamoured for her to burn it.


    Yue Zhishi pursed his lips and twisted his head over to look at him. ¡°Song Yu gege, how¡¯d you know we were there today?¡±


    Song Yu knew Yue Zhishi would eventually ask. He was the most straightforward child in the world, unable to hide a single thing. He¡¯d long thought of a way to divert Yue Zhishi¡¯s attention.


    He stretched out his right arm and showed Yue Zhishi his wrist.


    Song Yu¡¯s wrist was particularly red and looked like it¡¯d been sprained and slightly bruised. Yue Zhishi immediately forgot to interrogate him, his two hands lightly, gently cupping against the red area as if he was afraid to look at it. He then asked in a slightly pathetic voice, ¡°Does it really hurt?¡±


    As if the one in pain was himself.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t say anything and simply watched him, observing him as if he was a little animal.


    ¡°If you don¡¯t say anything, then it hurts.¡±


    Song Yu flatly denied: ¡°Doesn¡¯t hurt.¡±


    ¡°If you say it doesn¡¯t hurt, then it hurts.¡± Yue Zhishi got up. ¡°I¡¯ll grab you an ice pack!¡±


    Song Yu immediately pulled him back to sit. ¡°Just stop for a bit.¡±


    Yue Zhishi could only obediently sit next to him before he abruptly thought of something else again. He lifted Yue Zhishi¡¯s left arm and looked at his watch. ¡°You¡¯re going to be late.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not going.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t dare believe him. ¡°Not going? You¡¯re going to skip an entire afternoon of classes?¡±


    Song Yu bent one of his legs, rested his elbow on top and held up his chin. He then reached out and straightened his other arm, saying, his voice filled with a rarely seen laziness, ¡°I¡¯ve already gotten into a fight. Skipping classes is nothing.¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t.¡± Yue Zhishi held his arm. ¡°Weren¡¯t you just telling me it¡¯s bad to fight, that it couldn¡¯t solve anything? Then you fighting and now skipping classes¡­¡±


    Song Yu interrupted him. ¡°It¡¯s enough for our family to have only one good child.¡±


    The winds of late autumn blew up Yue Zhishi¡¯s hair on his forehead, exposing a bright, clear forehead and that pair of clear and transparent eyes.


    ¡°But bad children will lead good children astray.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t often have any interest in exploring what made someone behave the way they did, but sometimes he was very curious ¡ª where did Yue Zhishi¡¯s many whys and buts come from, and what sustained his desire to frankly and candidly express his feelings? Was it an innocence that came from being overprotected, or was it an earnest foolishness embedded deep into his bones?


    His eyes always carried a sincere flame that never flickered out, as if he was very afraid Song Yu wouldn¡¯t be able to see it.


    Pure and innocent things always caused two extreme emotions.


    A desire to protect, or a desire to destroy.


    ¡°Then are you afraid of me leading you astray?¡± Song Yu asked, gazing at him.


    The author has something to say:


    Those who worried about pacing, don¡¯t worry, after gege graduates and they¡¯re no longer at the same school, I¡¯ll speed up the plot! Very soon

 CH 23

    Chapter 23: Precautionary Warnings


    Yue Zhishi would never dodge away from his eyes, and this time was no different. He slowly blinked and said, looking relaxed, ¡°No, why would I be? You¡¯re not a bad person, so how would you lead me astray?¡±


    ¡°Everyone would rather I turned out like you anyway.¡±


    Song Yu pressed his lips together. His answer was perfectly reasonable, and Song Yu probably could¡¯ve guessed his answer ahead of time. He merely couldn¡¯t find a way to reply to it.


    ¡°It¡¯s cold outside. Let¡¯s go in.¡±


    Yue Zhishi had initially thought Song Yu was just joking, but he really didn¡¯t end up going to class and stayed in his room the entire afternoon without coming out. After eating dinner, Yue Zhishi worked on his homework on the tea table in the living room, but he found it hard to focus. He kept thinking about Song Yu¡¯s wrist, so he grabbed his phone and pulled up Baidu ¡ª he only typed in [what to do if your wrist slightly hurts], but he somehow found himself reading about all kinds of injuries, from sprained wrists to even fractured wrist bones.


    Yue Zhishi sat up in alarm and hurriedly pulled on a heavy knit outer-coat. ¡°Ah¡­ Aunt Rong, do you have any trash? I¡¯ll take it out for you.¡±


    ¡°How come you¡¯re so good today.¡± Lin Rong grabbed a small bag from the trash can. ¡°Just this.¡±


    Yue Zhishi ran off with the trash in his hands.


    Cotton Candy lay on the sofa and watched him leave, wagging his tail.


    Yue Zhishi rushed back soon after, and Cotton Candy sat at the entrance to welcome him home. Lin Rong was busy with her yoga exercises and told him a plate of fruit was left on his desk. Yue Zhishi responded to her words and hugged the medicinal supplies he¡¯d just bought tightly to his chest, afraid she¡¯d see it, and bolted upstairs.


    After he placed down the medicine boxes, Yue Zhishi sat down to eat the small plate filled with pear and green apple slices while he studied an instruction leaflet.


    ¡°Compound anaesthetic patch¡­ to improve blood circulation and to dissolve clots¡­¡±


    It looked like the patch needed to be stuck on in order to stop the pain. Yue Zhishi lifted his head and looked at the time. Song Yu should still be doing his homework, but it felt like he might disturb him too much if Yue Zhishi just directly went over now. But what should he do if he went over later and Song Yu was already sleeping?


    He thought of a way to solve both issues.


    Song Yu was finishing his examination paper when he heard a knock on his door. He went to open it and didn¡¯t expect to see Yue Zhishi, who was carrying his schoolbag.


    ¡°Song Yu gege, can I do my homework with you?¡± Yue Zhishi asked with an expectant face.


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know how to do some of the questions¡­¡± Cotton Candy staggered over to Yue Zhishi¡¯s legs as he spoke and hugged his calves. He asked again, ¡°Can I?¡±


    Song Yu eventually relented, and Yue Zhishi happily went inside. Orange was sitting on Song Yu¡¯s bed, leisurely rolling a cat toy around his paws, and Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but be slightly envious.


    ¡°Move a chair over.¡±


    Other than study materials and stationery, Yue Zhishi¡¯s desk was covered by many drawing tools he¡¯d saved up money to buy. Song Yu¡¯s desk was only one size larger, but there were much less things on it and looked extremely neat. Yue Zhishi grabbed a chair from the balcony as Song Yu went to find a book on his bookshelf, and he intentionally placed his chair particularly close to the desk, only a few centimetres away.


    ¡°Song Yu gege, you really didn¡¯t go back to school today.¡±


    ¡°Mm.¡± Song Yu took out a book from his shelf.


    Yue Zhishi asked, ¡°Your teacher didn¡¯t try to call you?¡±


    ¡°I said I was sick.¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t that lying?¡± Yue Zhishi quietly said.


    ¡°Fighting, skipping class, lying.¡± Song Yu turned around and blankly tilted his head to look at him. ¡°Am I bad enough now?¡±


    Yue Zhishi very seriously considered his question, but a part of his brain was sighing with emotion ¡ª that pair of glasses really looked quite nice. Maybe he should also get a pair.


    Seeing Yue Zhishi daze off, Song Yu gave up on trying to get any useful reaction from him. ¡°Didn¡¯t you say there were some questions you didn¡¯t understand? Which ones?¡± He sat down as well, and pushed up the glasses resting on his nose. ¡°I¡¯ll give you fifteen minutes. I¡¯m heading to bed after that.¡±


    Yue Zhishi glanced at the desk. ¡°But aren¡¯t you still doing your papers¡­¡±


    ¡°I only have one question left.¡±


    Left with no choice, Yue Zhishi could only brace himself and choose a random question to ask, worried Song Yu would see through him. But luckily, Song Yu didn¡¯t say anything, pulling over the question to seriously look at it.


    Yue Zhishi sat there, fidgeting, when Song Yu suddenly opened his mouth.


    ¡°You just went out.¡±


    There were no traces of doubt in his voice, as if he was completely certain.


    Yue Zhishi widened his eyes. ¡°How¡¯d you know?¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t raise his head, gaze still focused on his question. He very casually said, ¡°You smell like the cold.¡±


    The scent of winter.


    He phrased it so delicately. Yue Zhishi lowered his head to sniff at his collar, but he couldn¡¯t smell anything special. Rather, he immediately noticed the light shower gel fragrance on Song Yu¡¯s body. It smelled very nice and was as pleasant as the smell on his blanket, making someone feel at ease.


    But Song Yu didn¡¯t give him much time to explore the smells. He directly started talking about his question.


    The little Pomeranian jumped onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s thighs and nestled into his arms, one tiny head peeking out as he listened together with Yue Zhishi to Song Yu¡¯s explanations.


    He quickly swept his eyes over his chosen question, and Yue Zhishi thought he probably could¡¯ve answered the question himself ¡ª but as he continued to listen, he realised Song Yu was teaching him another method, one that contained less steps than the method his teacher taught in class. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t expect his excuse to turn into a real tutoring session and completely forgot about his medicinal supplies.


    ¡°Do you understand?¡±


    Yue Zhishi hummed in agreement and took back his workbook to hastily write down the entire method, afraid he would forget it later. After a long period of schooling, the usual flow of answering homework questions had long been engraved into his body; he naturally, without thinking about it, finished his initial question and automatically started working on the next. It was slightly more complex, and by the time Yue Zhishi discovered how to solve it, Song Yu had already finished his last question.


    He pulled off his glasses, placed them on the desk and silently rose up to get into bed.


    The orange cat jumped off the bed the moment he lifted the blanket, meowing once. Yue Zhishi also made a questioning noise.


    ¡°I finished my question, so I¡¯m going to sleep. Go back to do your homework.¡±


    ¡°I, I still have something to ask, wait a second¡­¡± Yue Zhishi frantically flipped through his workbook. Song Yu knew he was only looking for an excuse, so he grabbed the blindfold resting on the bedside table and securely put it on, looking entirely like someone ready to pass out for the night.


    ¡°Gege, don¡¯t sleep yet.¡± Yue Zhishi knew he could no longer continue pretending. Carrying the dog and his bulging backpack, he ran to Song Yu¡¯s bedside and plopped down onto the floor. He unzipped his bag and poured out a pile of medical supplies in one go.


    Song Yu frowned and turned over in heavy distaste. ¡°Aren¡¯t you cold, what are you moving about so much for.¡± He chucked a beige coloured cushion at Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°I¡¯m not cold.¡± Yue Zhishi very naturally placed the cushion onto the wooden floor and sat on top of it with his legs crossed, Cotton Candy comfortably burrowing into his arms once again. ¡°Song Yu gege, I bought some medical supplies. Let me see your hand.¡±


    ¡°No need, I¡¯m fine,¡± Song Yu coolly refused.


    ¡°There is a need.¡± Seeing it¡¯d be useless for him to keep asking, Yue Zhishi got up slightly on his knees and carefully lifted a corner of the blanket to look for Song Yu¡¯s hand, only to have his face covered by it.


    ¡°Go to bed.¡±


    Yue Zhishi took the opportunity to grab his hand. He was worried he¡¯d hurt Song Yu¡¯s wrist, so he only took hold of the front half of his fingers. He lightly cupped his wrist after Song Yu didn¡¯t show any signs of wanting to struggle. ¡°Does it hurt? It won¡¯t hurt after I put on an anaesthetic patch for you.¡±


    Song Yu sounded a bit impatient, but he didn¡¯t pull back his hand like Yue Zhishi thought he would. ¡°Don¡¯t bother, it¡¯ll look so ugly.¡±


    ¡°But I bought the most expensive one, it¡¯s meant to be very good. The auntie at the pharmacy said the pain will stop as soon as the patch is on.¡± Yue Zhishi gazed at Song Yu¡¯s wrist, the bruising now more obvious than during the day. The wrist bone area was also slightly swollen, and the symptoms looked almost exactly like the ones listed online for a sprain.


    ¡°I already said I don¡¯t need it.¡±


    It felt like Song Yu was very resistant to plaster patches. Yue Zhishi tried offering something else. ¡°Then do you want to try this gel? The auntie said this can also be used to stop pain¡­¡±


    ¡°I just want to sleep.¡± Song Yu interrupted his sales pitch.


    ¡°That¡¯s fine, you can sleep.¡± Yue Zhishi intentionally pulled the cat over and placed him into the crook of Song Yu¡¯s arm. ¡°I¡¯ll apply the gel for you. I promise I¡¯ll move so lightly you won¡¯t feel a thing.¡±


    How could he not feel anything.


    With the blindfold blocking his line of sight, Song Yu silently opened his eyes. He could still see some faint light shining through the blindfold, gentle and warm. Even though he clearly couldn¡¯t see a single thing, he could still completely imagine how Yue Zhishi looked as he knelt next to his bed.


    ¡°Let me apply some of the gel first. It might be a bit cool, the instruction leaflet said it contained some menthol.¡±


    Yue Zhishi investigated the instructions very thoroughly, reading through them more carefully than he did his homework. His hands were very warm, and it didn¡¯t feel too uncomfortable as he spread the ice-cold gel onto Song Yu¡¯s wrist.


    ¡°Massage it in. It¡¯ll absorb faster if it¡¯s rubbed in,¡± Yue Zhishi muttered to himself. The sound of his voice was very light, as if he was very worried about bothering Song Yu. His two hands held onto his wrist, and he moved very lightly and gently as he massaged Song Yu¡¯s injury from the sprained wrist to the palm of his hand.


    It must be tiring to be constantly writing, Yue Zhishi thought. He decided to give Song Yu a very unpracticed hand massage.


    Song Yu could pretty much imagine Yue Zhishi¡¯s current feelings right now. He must be feeling very attentive, but at the same time, he was also probably slightly delighted, feeling as if he was like an adult who now had the ability to take care of people.


    This made him want to tease him.


    As Yue Zhishi kept massaging, he felt Song Yu¡¯s hand suddenly twitch and asked in alarm right away, ¡°Did that hurt? Was I pressing too heavily?¡± He immediately apologised, but Song Yu said, ¡°Are you sure there¡¯s nothing wrong with the gel?¡±


    Yue Zhishi jumped in panic and pulled out the instruction leaflet. ¡°No way, an allergy?¡± He very nervously looked over Song Yu¡¯s wrist. ¡°Where does it feel uncomfortable? Does it itch?¡±


    This was interesting. The usual scene was now flipped upside down ¡ª the person constantly sick and bedridden since childhood was now worrying about someone else.


    ¡°There were no precautionary warnings?¡± Song Yu steadily asked.


    ¡°Warnings? They¡¯re listed here.¡± Yue Zhishi held onto that long piece of paper, carefully looked at it and recited the precautions out one by one. ¡°Do not use this medicine if you are allergic. Please be cautious if you have allergies. Please keep this product out of the reach of children. Children must be under the supervision of adults when applying¡­¡±


    He heard light laughter as he continued reading.


    Yue Zhishi doubtfully raised his head. ¡°What are you laughing at?¡±


    The curve at the corner of his mouth was pretty obvious despite Song Yu¡¯s blindfold. Maybe because the blindfold hid his eyes, but Yue Zhishi felt the gege in front of him was a bit different from usual.


    ¡°So it¡¯s not adults who should be under the supervision of children when applying.¡± Song Yu spoke calmly, the teasing in his voice almost imperceptible.


    Yue Zhishi understood after a little while and realised Song Yu was making fun of him. He opened his mouth and very determinedly denied, ¡°I¡¯m not a child¡­ right.¡± He trailed off very indecisively.


    He actually wanted to go online and search up the legal definition of a child.


    Song Yu used his other hand and pushed up his blindfold, his two eyes peering out. ¡°I¡¯m just teasing.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was stunned, all the disapproving words he¡¯d wanted to say at Song Yu making fun of him disappearing from his mind.


    Since he was teasing him, that meant Song Yu gege truly wasn¡¯t feeling too uncomfortable. This was very important to him.


    ¡°My hand feels much better. Go to bed.¡± Song Yu turned off his bedside lamp and flipped over. ¡°Turn off the light for me.¡±


    Yue Zhishi stuffed all of the medical supplies lying on the floor back into his bag and stood up. When he went to grab his homework, he also placed the cushion Song Yu gave him onto a chair before softly moving out of the room. He stood at the entrance and turned off the light, ready to close the door, but then he abruptly noticed Cotton Candy looking at him in the middle of the room and wagging his tail. He ran back inside to scoop him up.


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    He suddenly heard those words from Song Yu, who had his back facing towards him.


    Yue Zhishi froze for a moment, foolishly standing there with the dog in his arms for two seconds, before he felt like a small and shrivelled balloon that was suddenly blown full of air.


    ¡°You¡¯re welcome!¡±


    Anyone could tell just from Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice that he was smiling very happily.


    The light from outside the room arrowed in and reflected the door¡¯s shadow on the wall. It continuously shrank as Yue Zhishi noiselessly moved away, gradually narrowing and narrowing until it turned into a brilliant and dazzling gap in between the door and the wall.


    ¡°Good night, gege.¡± He heard Yue Zhishi say.


    The door was finally closed, Yue Zhishi taking away the last of the light.


    Good night, Song Yu whispered in reply.


    The author has something to say:


    Next chapter is another day of Le Le displaying the strength of his older brother complex!

 CH 24

    Chapter 24: Surprise Gift


    Their monthly break was only one day, and Yue Zhisi spent the entire day cooped up in his room. Song Jin was home from his business trip and spent the day baking with Lin Rong, the entire house full of the smell of pastry and sweets. Song Yu came downstairs to make himself some coffee, and ended up being questioned by Father Song about his most recent grades and TOEFL results.


    ¡°Do you think you did well?¡±


    Song Yu replied with a simple, it should be okay, and prepared to go back upstairs. Lin Rong called to him, ¡°Xiao Yu, didn¡¯t you say yesterday you wanted a rug? I chose a woollen one for you from your auntie¡¯s store. It¡¯ll be delivered shortly, and we¡¯ll come up later to spread it out for you.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± Song Yu coughed, as if his throat was a bit uncomfortable. ¡°Whenever is fine.¡±


    Lin Rong passed over a tray of wheat-free molten chocolate biscuits that had just come out of the oven. ¡°Bring these up for your brother. Wait a second, let me pour him a glass of hot milk.¡±


    Song Jin suggested, ¡°Maybe some yoghurt instead, it¡¯s good for the stomach.¡±


    After his parents organised things nicely, Song Yu went upstairs carrying the tray. He passed Yue Zhishi¡¯s room and called out his name as he stood outside the door. He heard Yue Zhishi reply from within, asking him what was the matter.


    Song Yu frowned, feeling Yue Zhishi was being strange. ¡°Mom told me to bring up some biscuits for you.¡±


    ¡°Oh! Then¡­ then can you leave them outside the door for me? I¡¯ll grab them in a bit.¡±


    After Yue Zhishi finishing yelling at the door, he heard Song Yu make a noise in response after a few seconds. He waited for a few moments before he went over to crack open the door, peeking out of a small gap to see if Song Yu was still standing at the door. Once he was sure Song Yu was no longer there, he relaxed and easily swung open the door, lifting up the tray left on the floor.


    ¡°What are you doing in there?¡±


    Being caught in the act, Yue Zhishi stretched his head out to peer around him. Song Yu stood a few steps away in the corridor looking at him, and scenes from Tom and Jerry filled Yue Zhishi¡¯s mind. Right now, he was the Jerry sneaking out of his mouse hole preparing to steal some cheese.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t say anything else and directly walked towards Yue Zhishi¡¯s room. But Yue Zhishi was faster ¡ª he dodged back inside and slammed the door closed with a bang.


    Song Yu, being refused at the door, experienced a complex state of mind he¡¯d never once felt before in the past eleven years of his life.


    He actually stood at the door, frozen, for a while.


    Early Monday morning, the two cleaned up brothers came downstairs and saw Lin Rong changing her shoes at the house entrance. She spoke in a hurry.


    ¡°One of mom¡¯s friends suddenly got acute appendicitis, so I¡¯m going to the hospital now to take care of her. I didn¡¯t have time to make breakfast today, but there¡¯s some money on the table for you two to use.¡±


    Yue Zhishi noticed her scarf was still on the shelf. He rubbed his eyes and went over to wrap the scarf around her. ¡°Be careful when you drive.¡±


    ¡°Be careful when you eat outside. Don¡¯t be too greedy.¡± Lin Rong hugged him, said good bye to Song Yu and opened the door to leave.


    The cold air outside went straight to Yue Zhishi¡¯s ankles, causing him to slightly shudder. He stomped his feet in place before he ran back upstairs to put on a pair of long socks, taking care to hurry so he could leave together with Song Yu.


    Thinking of Song Yu¡¯s injured wrist, Yue Zhishi wanted to take Song Yu to school on his bike. His suggestion was obviously immediately rejected, and in the midst of a deadlock and the blowing of the cold winter air, the two of them chose to ride a taxi to school.


    The taxi was very fast. It was still early by the time they arrived at school, and Yue Zhishi was pretty much stuck onto Song Yu¡¯s body as they walked inside. He previously couldn¡¯t go to school together with his gege, so Yue Zhishi was in a fantastic mood now that he could openly walk next to him.


    But once they reached the breakfast restaurants, he could no longer move.


    ¡°I¡¯m so hungry.¡± Yue Zhishi stood there and didn¡¯t move a muscle.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t say a single word. He chose the cleanest, most spacious looking restaurant and went inside, ordering some soup buns, three delicacies beancurd skin and a bowl of beef noodles.


    ¡°Do you want thin or thick noodles?¡± the owner asked.


    Yue Zhishi looked behind the owner. ¡°Do you have macaroni?¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡± The owner swiftly poured some macaroni into a colander. ¡°I¡¯ll give you extra.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, boss!¡± Yue Zhishi sat across from Song Yu and looked around the inner walls of the restaurant, menus plastered all over. After a little while, he opened his mouth. ¡°Song Yu gege, I want some red bean soup.¡±


    Song Yu raised his head to glance at him and looked as if he thought Yue Zhishi was very troublesome. But he continued to not say anything and rose to ask the owner if he had any, only for the owner to say he didn¡¯t. ¡°I only have black bean soy milk. I think next door has red bean soup if you guys want some.¡±


    Song Yu headed next door immediately after his words.


    Everything seemed to be happening according to Yue Zhishi¡¯s wishes. He stretched out his neck to look outside, and after making sure Song Yu truly disappeared, he quickly reached into his schoolbag and pulled out a pouch. He ran across, swiftly opened Song Yu¡¯s bag and stuffed the pouch inside.


    After disposing of his evidence, he went back to his seat and pretended nothing happened, obediently splitting apart two pairs of disposable chopsticks. Not long afterwards, Song Yu came back with some red bean soup.


    The bean paste was still very hot. Yue Zhishi took one of the straws Song Yu grabbed on the way back and poked it into the cup, swallowing a big mouthful of the sweet and soft soup.


    The owner¡¯s wife gave them their soup buns and two little plates full of vinegar and pieces of ginger. Yue Zhishi stood up and placed Song Yu¡¯s chopsticks onto his little saucer.


    The soup buns were stuffed with a mixture of chopped shrimp and minced beef. They were given eight pieces, little leaves separating the buns from the bamboo steamer. The shape of the shrimp and meat ball showed vaguely through the particularly thin and translucent skin. Yue Zhishi grabbed a bun, only for it to slip through his chopsticks like a water balloon and land in his vinegar saucer.


    The two of them didn¡¯t discuss it at all ¡ª Yue Zhishi directly opened the other straw on the table and jabbed it into the skin of the soup bun, taking a sip of the soup inside at the same time. ¡°Yum!¡±


    ¡°Aren¡¯t you afraid of being burnt,¡± Song Yu said. He may have commented, but he looked like he was quite used to Yue Zhishi¡¯s actions.


    ¡°This soup¡¯s so sweet.¡± Yue Zhishi tore open the skin after he finished the soup and dipped the ball of meat into his plate of vinegar before devouring it, leaving behind only the big piece of dough.


    ¡°Your noodles and the beancurd skin.¡± The owner¡¯s wife carried the two bowls over. When she saw Yue Zhishi grab the soup bun¡¯s skin and place it into Song Yu¡¯s bowl, she questioned, ¡°What¡¯s wrong, is the skin no good?¡±


    ¡°No, not at all.¡± Yue Zishi dragged the bowl of noodles to him. ¡°I just can¡¯t eat it.¡±


    She nodded as if she understood what he meant and left after bidding them to add their own coriander if they wanted it.


    Song Yu very naturally ate the soup bun skin Yue Zhishi gave him and ate a piece of the beancurd skin while it was still warm. Three delicacies beancurd skin could probably be considered as the most filling breakfast dish.


    Pieces of pork, dried bamboo shoots and mushrooms were mixed with some glutinous rice before being marinated. The beancurd skin was made by grinding mung beans and rice together before frying the mixture together with some eggs. Once the bottom was cooked and turned into a skin, the piece was flipped and then wrapped around the marinated glutinous rice. It was then shaped into squares as it continued frying. The glutinous rice filling would be fragrant, soft and tasty, while the skin was crispy and golden.


    Most importantly, there was nothing in the entire dish that was an allergen to Yue Zhishi. It was also something Yue Zhishi very much liked to eat.


    They shared all of their breakfast items. Yue Zhishi ate a piece of the beancurd skin and then started attacking the noodle soup. He gave a piece of beef to Song Yu. ¡°I wanted to eat macaroni for a while now. I wanted to eat it like this.¡± Yue Zhishi pierced one of his chopsticks through the centre of a piece and delivered it to his mouth. ¡°Doesn¡¯t it seem like Chinese-style spaghetti?¡±


    Song Yu just felt he was like one of those early birds in the morning, chittering and chattering away. He normally wasn¡¯t like this ¡ª he was unusually excited today, as if he¡¯d successfully completed something important.


    ¡°Talk less and eat faster.¡±


    Yue Zhishi then focused, quickly eating four soup buns without skin, half a bowl of noodles and another piece of the beancurd skin. Everything else was finished by Song Yu. Lin Rong taught them from a young age to respect food, so whenever the two of them ate out, they would leave nothing to waste.


    There were more people walking in and out of the school entrance by the time they finished breakfast. Song Yu walked out with his bag, and Yue Zhishi jogged after him.


    The owner¡¯s wife stared in thought at their bamboo soup bun steamer. Her husband patted her once. ¡°Are you still sleepy?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± She frowned, looking very confused. ¡°Those two boys earlier were very strange. One only ate the meat filling, and the other one only ate the skin.


    The owner thought she was worried about something else. ¡°Aiyah, children these days all have their own quirks.¡±


    The two of them separated on the third floor, Song Yu continuing upwards. He saw some of his classmates, and they made fun of him as he walked past.


    ¡°I saw you guys eating breakfast from far away. Your relationship with your brother¡¯s really good.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t say anything to refute their words.


    Not long after, the morning self-study session started, and the English teacher walked into the classroom with a book. Song Yu opened his schoolbag to grab his English notes and abruptly noticed there was an extra box in his bag. He found it strange and immediately pulled it out.


    His desk mate was a slightly gossipy boy with glasses and not much courage. He glanced at the box and was worried Song Yu would see him, so he pretended to loudly recite his vocabulary.


    It was a white box and looked like it was handmade. It was covered by a drawing of two people ¡ª one with curly brown hair and the other with black hair. The one with black hair had an injured wrist, yet it was the one with brown hair that had tears falling from his eyes. There was a large red arrow near their foreheads, and it pointed at the opening of the box.


    The desk mate looked at him through the corner of his eyes and saw an extremely disdainful expression on Song Yu¡¯s face. He thought Song Yu would throw it away, since that was what he always did with the frequent amount of presents he was given. No matter how prettily they were wrapped, he would never look at them for more than a glance.


    But he never expected Song Yu to suddenly open it. It was such a shabbily handmade box, and yet he opened it to have a look?


    The desk mate silently cried out in alarm. It looked like Song Yu preferred these types of presents.


    He started to get curious about what the box held.


    Song Yu unpacked it and pulled from inside a wad of¡­


    Plaster patches? His glasses slipped down his nose in his surprise, and he immediately pushed them back up again, reciting his memorisation work as he continued to steal looks. Song Yu flipped each piece one by one, each patch carrying a drawing. Each drawing was different and covered each plaster entirely, and the wad of patches looked like they were a storyboard of scenes, just like a comic strip ¡ª the main characters were the two boys, one with curly hair and one with black hair.


    In the self-study classroom ringing with voices loud enough to be deafening, the desk mate accidentally heard Song Yu laugh. He sounded like he was amused, and yet he also sounded helpless. The noise was extremely unlike him, and yet it was also very miraculous.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t look at them for too long before he neatly packed those skin-coloured plaster patches away back into the box. He placed it into his desk drawer.


    This morning self-study¡¯s unsolved mystery stayed in the desk mate¡¯s heart for a long, long time.


    Both of the morning mathematic classes discussed their examination papers. Song Yu didn¡¯t have many wrong answers, so he spent the time doing new questions, his wrist still hurting. He paused his pen and stared at his wrist in consideration for a long while, until he finally pulled out the box in his drawer.


    He thought about what he¡¯d just casually said that day ¡ª that he didn¡¯t want to put one on because it was too ugly.


    Ever since childhood, every surprise from Yue Zhishi came from him sneaking and skulking around.


    Song Yu chose the plaster patch with the two people leaning the closest together. He carefully examined it and realised this was a very familiar scene: it looked like that time in fourth year of elementary school when he¡¯d won first place in a high jump competition, and Yue Zhishi had been so happy he jumped straight into his arms. But Yue Zhishi had used too much force when jumping and directly sent Song Yu tumbling onto the floor of the sport ground.


    When it came time for the awards, the top three winners stood on the little award platform, Song Yu on the highest level. The Yue Zhishi who had just entered elementary school ran in and appeared from the middle of nowhere, slipping straight behind Song Yu and hugging his legs. He¡¯d disrupted the entire award ceremony.


    Of course, Yue Zhishi had ended up being carried away by his elementary class adviser.


    Song Yu peeled away the plastic film attached to the back of the plaster as he walked out of his memories. He carefully attached the plaster onto his wrist, smoothing it out, and self-consciously tugged the sleeves of his sweater and outer coat to see if they could cover it up. He then pretended as if nothing happened and immersed himself back in his questions.


    After a busy class, the entire student population gathered downstairs to do some exercises. Qin Yan moved lazily, his eyes peeking around in all four directions, and coincidentally caught a glimpse of Song Yu¡¯s right hand wrist.


    What was that on his wrist, a tattoo??


    After they were released, he immediately ran to Song Yu and didn¡¯t say anything before grabbing his sleeve. ¡°What did you do to your wrist? SYU, you really are a man of culture, you even dared to go behind my back and¡­¡± The moment he held up Song Yu¡¯s wrist, Qin Yan suddenly turned into the old man looking at his phone on the subway meme. ¡°¡­put on a plaster patch?¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s face changed and pushed him away, jerking his sleeve back down. ¡°What nonsense are you talking about.¡±


    ¡°Wait, what is this?¡± Qin Yan laughed like he discovered something new and exciting. ¡°Where¡¯d you get such a cute patch? Did some girl give it to you! That¡¯s exactly the kind of patches a beefcake man should use! Hurry hurry hurry, I injured my shoulder two days ago while playing ball, give me one too.¡±


    Song Yu: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be so stingy, I can give you money for it.¡± Qin Yan started to unzip his uniform. ¡°Oh shit, it¡¯s cold. Hurry up! Just one!¡±


    ¡°In your dreams.¡±

 CH 25

    Chapter 25: Fear of Separation


    Time never moved forward at a constant speed ¡ª or at least, not in a physical sense.


    Yue Zhishi truly believed this as he worked on his physics homework over the winter semester break. He didn¡¯t know how the last semester passed by in such a fuzzy manner, to the point he seriously thought about looking up if scientists have ever done experiments on time. However, Lin Rong¡¯s phone call to him interrupted what may have possibly been Yue Zhishi¡¯s first ever paper research project.


    ¡°Yes, okay.¡± Yue Zhishi walked down the stairs as he talked on the phone. ¡°Song Yu gege went to cram school. I¡¯ll bring him there, I know where it is.¡±


    Placing down the phone, Yue Zhishi went to look for a leash to wrap around Cotton Candy and prepared to bring him to the vet for a physical check up.


    ¡°Let¡¯s get you all pretty while we¡¯re there, Cotton Candy. Your fur has been way too long lately.¡± It was very cold outside, so Yue Zhishi wrapped himself in a thick white down jacket. The human and dog pair looked almost like two balls of cotton candy from far away.


    Since it was winter break as well as the weekend, the vet clinic was extremely full. Yue Zhishi saw many cats and dogs, and even chinchillas. He felt very satisfied, and secretly imagined himself petting and playing with them all. The older sister in front of him in the line was holding two large dogs, one Alaskan and one golden retriever. When the golden retriever was being examined, the Alaskan seemed to be very cautious about its surroundings, constantly pulling around wildly, and its owner almost couldn¡¯t hold onto it as she was also distracted by the golden retriever.


    ¡°Excuse me, would you mind holding onto the leash for me? He might be a bit scared, so I¡¯ll hug him for a bit.¡±


    ¡°Ah, sure.¡± Yue Zhishi placed down the obedient Cotton Candy in his arms and used his other hand to help the older sister with the Alaskan dog¡¯s leash. Holding the leash of such a large dog felt very novel to Yue Zhishi ¡ª when he looked at his left hand holding onto the Pomeranian and compared it to his right, that hand pretty much was dominated by the dog and almost looked like the dog was walking him instead.


    The female owner knelt down to rub the Alaskan¡¯s head. After a few minutes, the dog quietened down slightly and no longer fussed around. Yue Zhishi could finally relax, thinking it was good thing Cotton Candy was a quiet and obedient dog, and fished out a dog treat from his pocket. He prepared to award it to Cotton Candy, but he noticed the other end of the leash he was holding was empty only after he turned his head. Cotton Candy was missing.


    Yue Zhishi panicked and searched the small clinic upside down, holding out Cotton Candy¡¯s favourite treat as he called out his name. It was useless, so Yue Zhishi ran out to the road and looked all around him. He was still unable to find any signs of Cotton Candy.


    He searched around and around that nearby area, and his first reaction was to give Lin Rong a call when his searches were all fruitless. But it seemed Lin Rong was too busy with her food importation issues and was uncontactable. He had no other choice but to call Song Yu.


    The call only rang once before it was picked up. It was like Yue Zhishi had finally found his saviour, the first words out of his mouth covered with tears. ¡°Song Yu gege, Cotton Candy¡¯s missing.¡±


    Song Yu told him to calm down. Yue Zhishi took a breath, and his ability to think returned in a moment.


    ¡°Let¡¯s search for him separately. I¡¯m on my way home now. You¡¯re closer to Yanghe Qizhe, so go look for him there.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know why Song Yu told him to search for Cotton Candy at the restaurant, but he went anyway. Right before he hung up the phone, he heard Song Yu say, ¡°Don¡¯t worry. We¡¯ll definitely find him.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart abruptly settled. He packed away neatly all of Cotton Candy¡¯s treats and took a taxi to Yanghe Qizhe.


    The restaurant wasn¡¯t open today. The courtyard gate was shut, no one and nothing inside. Yue Zhishi was very disappointed, having run until his body was covered in sweat, and he pulled off the hood of his down jacket. He looked around the nearby alleyways once again before he finally saw Song Yu come out of his taxi at the nearby road crossing.


    Song Yu was wearing the same down jacket as he was ¡ª Lin Rong bought one for both of them, one in white and one in dark grey. Seeing Song Yu¡¯s empty hands, Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t able to hide his disappointment, and he lowered his head apologetically.


    ¡°He¡¯s not at the restaurant¡­ I¡¯m sorry I didn¡¯t look after him well.¡±


    The dog was brought home by Song Yu. Strictly speaking, it was Song Yu¡¯s dog.


    Yue Zhishi was extremely distraught and knew Song Yu must also be very concerned if he ran straight out of his cram school.


    But Song Yu wasn¡¯t angry like Yue Zhishi thought he would be ¡ª he merely pulled Yue Zhishi¡¯s hood and covered his head with it again. ¡°He managed to escape his leash last time I walked him. There¡¯s something wrong with the leash.¡±


    The sweat on Yue Zhishi¡¯s forehead had already been blown dry by the cold wind. They stood there for a little while, Song Yu saying he¡¯d already gone back home to have a look. He¡¯d also paid attention to the roads while on his way here.


    Yue Zhishi turned even more distraught.


    ¡°Let¡¯s have a look again.¡± Song Yu walked towards the restaurant.


    Yue Zhishi followed behind him, his heart already losing hope. He didn¡¯t initially feel it when he first came out, but the weather today felt especially cold, the wind cutting across his face like thin knives and penetrating into his neck.


    He pulled up his zipper with his head down and lifelessly walked behind Song Yu.


    Wind filled the alleyway, and all Yue Zhishi could think about was Cotton Candy wandering the streets alone by himself. It was almost Lunar New Year, and Cotton Candy was so small ¡ª he wasn¡¯t even wearing a vest today.


    He started wondering about the possibilities of asking for help on Weibo and posting missing notices all over the streets.


    Song Yu¡¯s footsteps suddenly froze. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t stop in time and bumped into his back. ¡°Ah, what¡¯s wrong?¡± He looked ahead, Yanghe Qizhe¡¯s entrance door in front, and there was an old granny sitting there with Cotton Candy by her side.


    The moment he saw Song Yu and Yue Zhishi, Cotton Candy flew over. Yue Zhishi immediately knelt down to wrap his arms around him, his heart recovering and feeling as if it was on a rollercoaster from all the emotions today. He pushed his face into Cotton Candy¡¯s fur. ¡°Where did you run off to? You almost scared me to death, I was already thinking about how to hand out flyers.¡±


    Song Yu headed over to the old granny. She looked to be around sixty years old, a strand of pearls around her neck, and was dressed quite well if almost over-dressed. She stood up as well, smoothing out the wrinkles in her wine red coat with her leather covered hands, and gave them a kind smile.


    ¡°So the dog belongs to you two.¡± Her hair was pure white, and she spoke very slowly. ¡°Did you guys come here to eat as well?¡±


    Yue Zhishi hugged the dog and met Song Yu¡¯s eyes. Song Yu said to her, ¡°You might be thinking of the wrong date. The restaurant¡¯s not open today.¡±


    Puzzlement covered the old lady¡¯s face, and she looked like she didn¡¯t entirely believe them. ¡°Really? But I wouldn¡¯t have remembered incorrectly. My husband made a reservation here for today.¡±


    Yue Zhishi doubtfully said, ¡°It¡¯s really not open today. The owner¡¯s not here. Granny, are you sure you¡¯re thinking of the right date?¡±


    ¡°No way¡­¡± The old lady kept insisting she had a reservation. Yue Zhishi looked at her thin clothing and thought it wasn¡¯t good to keep standing here in this cold weather. He touched Song Yu¡¯s hand. ¡°Song Yu gege, did you bring the key to the restaurant?¡±


    Song Yu nodded and pulled out his keys to open the door.


    Yue Zhishi went to support the old lady. ¡°Why don¡¯t we head inside first? I¡¯ll help you look at the reservation list and see where the problem is.¡±


    They turned on the restaurant¡¯s heating and helped the lady sit down. Song Yu went to boil some water, and Yue Zhishi turned on the front counter¡¯s computer to pull up the list of reservations. They used to constantly help out here at the restaurant, so they generally understood how the restaurant usually operated.


    Hot water flowed into a transparent tea cup, the aroma of black tea blooming and spreading. Song Yu placed the cup of hot tea in front of the old lady.


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    He returned to Yue Zhishi¡¯s side. ¡°Did you find anything?¡±


    Yue Zhishi lifted his eyes and shook his head, softly saying, ¡°There really aren¡¯t any reservations for today.¡± He looked over at the old granny. She gazed at the entrance with a face full of expectancy and longing, as if waiting for someone to appear. Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but ask, ¡°Granny, the list doesn¡¯t help. Can you tell us your husband¡¯s name? Or phone number?¡±


    She looked back at the two of them and opened her mouth with a smile. But suddenly, it was like she was caught on something in her mind, her smile dissipating away to be replaced by a look of confusion. ¡°My husband¡¯s name¡­¡± She frowned and bowed her head to think. ¡°Name¡­¡±


    Song Yu focused on her, feeling like something wasn¡¯t quite right.


    ¡°Do you remember what date it is today?¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± She paused, and then her eyebrows relaxed, smile once again appearing. ¡°It¡¯s the 21st of November. It¡¯s our silver wedding anniversary today, and we planned to celebrate it here.¡±


    November¡­ But Lunar New Year was quickly approaching. No wonder she was dressed so thinly ¡ª she¡¯d forgotten the date.


    Yue Zhishi once again looked at Song Yu and very quietly opened his mouth. ¡°Song Yu gege, is she¡­¡±


    Song Yu nodded. ¡°Yes, Alzheimer¡¯s.¡±


    This might be slightly troublesome. Yue Zhishi thought to himself, the old granny forgot what date it was, and she may have even gone to the wrong restaurant. Her family might be looking for her in a panic now that she¡¯s lost, but they didn¡¯t even have a name or way of contacting her family.


    ¡°Let¡¯s call the police,¡± Song Yu said.


    His voice wasn¡¯t very loud, but the old lady just happened to hear his words. Her mood immediately worsened, and she looked very resistant. ¡°Police? Why are you calling the police? I just want to have a meal.¡±


    Yue Zhishi wanted to explain. ¡°Granny, you¡­¡±


    ¡°Can I order first?¡± She looked at them, her eyes full of expectation. ¡°I think my husband might have been delayed by something, but he should be arriving very soon.¡±


    Yue Zhishi looked at her expression and wasn¡¯t able to reveal the truth. It was almost dinner time anyway. He took in a breath. ¡°Then what would you like to eat? There¡¯s only the two of us here today, so we might not be able to do too much.¡±


    The old granny smiled very kindly. ¡°That¡¯s okay. We¡¯re very simple. Your pearl meatballs are my husband¡¯s favourite dish.¡±


    ¡°Anything else?¡±


    ¡°Something else¡­¡±


    The old lady once again sunk into her confused memories. Yue Zhishi could only take down her order. ¡°Then we¡¯ll go have a look first.¡± He ran to check the restaurant¡¯s stock levels, and luckily it had glutinous rice and meat. Under his pleading, Song Yu somehow turned into the head chef and was pushed into the kitchen.


    Yue Zhishi brought out his ability to coax large cats, offering to massage his back and shoulders and actively wrapping the apron around Song Yu. Even though Song Yu was completely reluctant, he still didn¡¯t refuse Yue Zhishi in front of the old granny.


    Yue Zhishi came out of the kitchen and saw her gazing once again at the door, slight disappointment on her face.


    ¡°He¡¯ll definitely come. Just wait a little while longer, granny.¡±


    She peered at Yue Zhishi¡¯s earnest face and abruptly gave him a smile. ¡°You look better now than when you were child.¡± She glanced towards the kitchen. ¡°Your brother too.¡± She then added again, ¡°You looked like a little western doll before.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was stunned ¡ª there truly was a large problem with her memories. She obviously didn¡¯t recognise them earlier when they met at the door, but she now suddenly remembered some things from when they were children.


    Perhaps she really did come here before.


    ¡°Do you remember which year you got married?¡± Yue Zhishi asked.


    The old lady tried very hard to remember, but she still shook her head.


    ¡°I see¡­¡± Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t give up. He looked up on Baidu what a silver wedding anniversary was ¡ª it was a wedding anniversary after 25 years of marriage. The old granny looked to be around sixty years old, so if she got married around her twenties, she would¡¯ve been around her fifties when she first visited Yanghe Qizhe about ten years ago¡­


    The timeline matched fairly well. They truly were quite young when the restaurant first opened. But for the first two years, the management wasn¡¯t quite perfect and there weren¡¯t that many guests. All reservations were written down by hand and not recorded electronically.


    Yue Zhishi looked everywhere for the right key, before he finally found in a random drawer at the front desk the key to where all the old reservation books were kept. He knelt on the floor and grabbed out the dusty books. There was one book for each year, and he seriously looked through all of them, dust settling onto his face and causing him to constantly cough.


    Song Yu suddenly came out and poured himself a cup of water.


    ¡°Finished?¡± Yue Zhishi tilted his head up, his face red from all of his coughing.


    ¡°They¡¯re steaming now.¡± Song Yu asked, ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    ¡°That granny should¡¯ve celebrated their anniversary here before. I wanted to check the reservation books from back when we first opened to see if we can find any guest records for the 21st of November. Maybe we can find a way to contact her husband that way, since we didn¡¯t have that many guests each day.¡± Yue Zhishi abruptly frowned as he spoke. ¡°Ah, but it¡¯s been so many years. What if he¡¯s changed his phone number?¡±


    Song Yu shook his head. ¡°I don¡¯t think he would since his wife suffers from Alzheimer¡¯s.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was steadied by his words and wanted to continue looking through the records, but he was brushed away by Song Yu.


    ¡°Go spend some time with her.¡±


    ¡°You can go, I¡¯ll keep searching,¡± Yue Zhishi said.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk.¡±


    Yue Zhishi naturally took on the job after hearing those words. He stayed next to the old granny and spoke to her. She didn¡¯t remember many things, but every other sentence out of her mouth was about her husband. Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t describe what he was feeling ¡ª he was slightly heartbroken, but he wasn¡¯t feeling just heartbreak.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi.¡±


    Hearing Song Yu call him, Yue Zhishi immediately rushed over.


    ¡°Try calling these.¡± Song Yu spread open a book and gave it to him, pointing at the numbers he¡¯d circled in red. Yue Zhishi sat down and, just like Song Yu instructed, phoned the guests who¡¯d once had a reservation with them.


    ¡°Hello, am I speaking to Mr Wang? I¡¯m sorry to disturb you, but I wanted to ask if you¡¯ve lost a family member¡­ I¡¯m sorry, maybe we made a mistake. Sorry for disturbing you.¡±


    ¡°Am I speaking to Mr Lee? Hello,¡­¡±


    The phone calls went out one by one, and Yue Zhishi started to wonder about the likelihood of this method succeeding. He drew a cross after each unsuccessful phone number and lifted his head to see the old granny still waiting. Even Cotton Candy was influenced by her and sat in front of the floor-length window, wagging his curly tail, as if he too was also waiting for someone.


    After one hour, Yue Zhishi counted the remaining numbers. ¡°Only two left.¡±


    Song Yu nodded. He knew Yue Zhishi wanted to keep trying, so he didn¡¯t stop him and merely stood next to him.


    Yue Zhishi organised his emotions and once again dialled a number. The line was busy, so he waited for a little while before he decided to call the next number first.


    The last phone call was very quickly picked up. The other party¡¯s voice sounded very young, but it was the same as all the previous calls: they had not lost any of their family members, and they didn¡¯t know anyone suffering from Alzheimer¡¯s. Yue Zhishi was filled with despair, and he very much wanted to collapse onto the front desk if he wasn¡¯t also worrying about dirtying his white down jacket. He ended up resting his forehead on Song Yu¡¯s hand.


    Song Yu understood what he was feeling. He lifted his hand and wanted to rub his head, but it was then that the phone on the front desk suddenly rang. Yue Zhishi immediately lifted his head and picked up the call.


    ¡°Hello.¡±


    The person on the other side sounded even more urgent than he did, his voice breathless from his panting. Yue Zhishi held onto his last shred of hope and asked once again ¡ª and he finally heard the answer he¡¯d been waiting to hear.


    ¡°Yes, that would be me.¡±


    Yue Zhishi excitedly raised his head and smiled at Song Yu. ¡°Okay, then we¡¯ll wait for you here!¡±


    He belatedly felt like the other person¡¯s voice was very familiar after he placed down the phone, but he couldn¡¯t match the voice with a face. Cotton Candy ran over to circle around his legs, so Yue Zhishi picked up him and slowly walked around the dining room, observing the old lady from the corner of his eyes.


    She was still tirelessly, expectantly gazing outwards.


    The person she was waiting for finally arrived when the pearl meatballs finished steaming. Yue Zhishi was stunned as he looked out of the floor-length glass door to see the person pushing open the courtyard gate ¡ª it was one of their frequent guests, old Professor Zhang.


    Professor Zhang rushed over with quick footsteps and looked very worn out. He was usually very friendly and witty whenever he came over, and had never once looked this anxious and flustered.


    ¡°Mei Yin.¡± He pushed open the front door and called out the old lady¡¯s name.


    Yue Zhishi thought the dust was settling and everything was about to finish, and very happily crossed over to Song Yu¡¯s with a large step. It was at this moment that the old lady lifted her eyes, gaze full of suspicion, and said, ¡°You are¡­?¡±


    Song Yu looked at them and lowered his eyes. He¡¯d long thought this would happen. But Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t understand; he frowned and looked almost even more upset than Professor Zhang.


    ¡°Le Le, Xiao Yu, I¡¯m sorry for troubling you.¡± Rather than coaxing the old granny, Professor Zhang first greeted them. Song Yu shook his head and told him to not worry about it.


    Yue Zhishi saw Grandpa Zhang open the bag he was carrying. He¡¯d brought over a padded jacket, scarf and a hat. ¡°You left the house wearing so little. What would you do if you got sick at your age?¡± He unfolded the jacket and went to put it on his wife, but his wife rejected the jacket.


    ¡°Who are you? I don¡¯t know you.¡±


    ¡°Granny, this is your husband.¡± Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but go towards them. ¡°Don¡¯t you remember him?¡±


    Grandpa Zhang gave Yue Zhishi a smile. ¡°It¡¯s fine, Le Le. I¡¯m used to it.¡± He pulled out some old photos from the bag¡¯s side pocket. It was their wedding photo from when they were younger. Another photo was them together in a group photo. ¡°Mei Yin, look. We took these together. You weren¡¯t very happy about not having a wedding dress, so you put on a white skirt.¡±


    Strand by strand, piece by piece, he carefully detailed their past history together, patiently putting back together her memories. The old lady was no longer so resistant and listened to him uncertainly. She gradually allowed him to help her put on the scarf and hat.


    At the very end, she looked like she finally remembered him. She kept grumbling about Professor Zhang having arrived so late, causing her to wait for so long. He apologised again and again and promised he won¡¯t be late to their next date.


    The granny¡¯s face was full of love. ¡°I ordered the pearl meatballs you love so much. Let¡¯s leave after we eat them.¡±


    Professor Zhang gazed at Yue Zhishi and Song Yu, and said, laughing, ¡°We¡¯ll just take it home to eat. It¡¯s time for the restaurant to close.¡±


    The sky was already darkening, the street lamps lighting up pole by pole. Warm yellow light covered the dim alleyway. Yue Zhishi and Song Yu stood together at Yanghe Qizhe¡¯s courtyard gate and prepared to send the two elderly people on their way.


    ¡°Good thing you two were here today. A previous student wanted to speak to me about something today, and she ran out by herself during our quick chat.¡± Professor Zhang¡¯s eyes were slightly red, his hand clutching his wife¡¯s. ¡°I usually get her to wear clothes I¡¯ve previously prepared for her. The pockets of her jackets would normally hold my contact number, just in case something like this happened. I don¡¯t know how my wife suddenly wore something else.¡±


    Yue Zhishi kept looking at the old lady and thought about the expectant expressions on her face.


    She changed out of her usual clothing and meticulously dressed up because she was celebrating an anniversary with the person she most loved.


    Professor Zhang lightly patted Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand and looked at Song Yu. He said, ¡°It¡¯s late now, you two should hurry home. Don¡¯t worry your mother. I¡¯ll come by soon to pay my respects and to show my gratitude.¡±


    Song Yu had kept quiet all this time and finally opened his mouth. ¡°No need to worry about it.¡±


    Yue Zhishi leaned against Song Yu and nodded, smiling. ¡°That¡¯s right. Grandpa Zhang, hurry back, the pearl meatballs are going to go cold.¡±


    The old granny once again started to grumble at the mention of pearl meatballs. ¡°Yeah, you made me wait for you for so long. You¡¯re always late every time we meet, and you didn¡¯t even bring me the flowers you said you would.¡±


    ¡°Aiyah, that¡¯s because¡­¡±


    Flowers?


    Yue Zhishi abruptly said, ¡°He did bring some.¡± He turned around and ran back to the restaurant and came back not long after. He slid next to Professor Zhang with his hands behind his back and sneakily gave him the item in his hand. Song Yu glanced at him and very cooperatively didn¡¯t say anything.


    Professor Zhang stretched out his hands. A slender narcissus flower was caught right as it was blooming.


    ¡°Grandpa Zhang prepared this for you.¡±


    ¡°So pretty.¡± Even though it was only one flower, the old lady¡¯s face overflowed with happiness. She received the flower and carefully treasured it in her hands. After three more rounds of goodbyes, the two of them slowly walked away, nestling against each other as they left.


    A gust of wind blew past, and Yue Zhishi hunched up his shoulders to protect his neck from the cold. Looking from far away, the city lights covered and blurred away the two people¡¯s silhouettes.  His nose started to ache, and perhaps it was from the cold, but the ache trickled into his heart.


    He stood at the door. The alleyway, the winter night, the courtyard gate to Yanghe Qizhe and even the glow of light spilling from the street lamps ¡ª they were all very familiar sights to Yue Zhishi. He was lost in his thoughts as he gazed at the wall across from them.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to forget you,¡± Yue Zhishi suddenly said.


    Song Yu turned to look at him. There was a very complicated look in his eyes, as if he was confused and thought he¡¯d heard something wrongly.


    There was a street lamp above his head, and it sent light downwards to wrap around Yue Zhishi¡¯s face. His soft brown hair glimmered golden, the tip of his nose and his cheeks flushed red from the cold. His eyes were very bright.


    ¡°Xiao Yu gege, I don¡¯t want to forget you.¡± He looked into Song Yu¡¯s eyes.


    Song Yu froze for two seconds and then turned his face away.


    ¡°What nonsense are you saying.¡±


    Yue Zhishi knew he was saying groundless, silly words, so he didn¡¯t respond. He¡¯d just felt so heartbroken looking at the old granny ¡ª he didn¡¯t have someone he loved like she did and couldn¡¯t understand how it felt to forget the person he loved. But he tried to imagine how it would feel to one day forget Uncle Song, Aunt Rong.


    He even imagined how it would feel to forget Song Yu.


    His heart stung, and it even felt like it was being tightly, fiercely squeezed, unable to be released.


    ¡°I won¡¯t forget you,¡± Yue Zhishi said once again.


    Song Yu was also lost in his thoughts right before Yue Zhishi opened his mouth. To be the one forgetting, or to be the one forgotten ¡ª which one was more painful. If he had a choice, which one would he choose to be.


    He couldn¡¯t find an answer. He pulled off his own scarf and threw it onto Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°You¡¯ve pretty much forgotten all of your childhood already.¡±


    ¡°I remember a lot, I only forgot small bits and pieces. I remember all the important things.¡± His stomach growled just as he finished speaking and ruined the solemnity of all the words he¡¯d just spoken.


    Song Yu stuffed his two hands in his trouser pockets and turned around to enter the yard. ¡°Let¡¯s eat.¡±


    ¡°We have food?¡± Yue Zhishi quickly entered as well.


    ¡°Pearl meatballs,¡± Song Yu said. ¡°I made an extra portion.¡±


    ¡°Really?!¡±


    Cotton Candy flew out the moment they opened the restaurant door and went to stand by his legs. Yue Zhishi picked him up again and cuddled him. ¡°You little thing, even though you weren¡¯t obedient and sneaked away by yourself, you did something important today. You helped us find a lost granny, so I won¡¯t punish you this time.¡±


    ¡°Woof!¡± Cotton Candy made a noise in his arms.


    ¡°Oh, yeah.¡± Yue Zhishi held Cotton Candy and doubtfully asked, ¡°Gege, how did you immediately think to look for Cotton Candy here?¡±


    Song Yu came out of the kitchen and placed the pearl meatballs warmed by a low fire onto the table. He lifted his eyes for a look before he lowered them again. ¡°I actually found Cotton Candy here by the door of the restaurant.¡±


    Yue Zhishi looked at Cotton Candy, and the dog tilted his head to look back at him.


    ¡°When was this? I didn¡¯t even know.¡±


    ¡°You were in third year of elementary school and had gone to winter camp at Hainan.¡±


    Yue Zhishi remembered. ¡°That¡¯s right, I came back then and saw there was a Cotton Candy at home.¡± He¡¯d asked where the dog came from, and Song Yu hadn¡¯t said much, only that he¡¯d picked up the dog from the streets.


    Song Yu poured a cup of hot water, his hand circled around it. ¡°It was also night time that day I found him. It was very cold, and he was huddling against the wall of the courtyard gate in a very small ball. He was a bit dirty, but his eyes were very bright.¡±


    He hadn¡¯t understood at that time why he decided to be so kind-hearted and pick up a small dog, but he¡¯d known that once he brought it home, he needed to be responsible for it.


    Song Yu hadn¡¯t understood until Yue Zhishi had come home from Hainan, looked at the little dog ecstatically and wrapped his arms around him in his joy, his pair of eyes shining and glittering at him.


    ¡°So that¡¯s why. So good, Cotton Candy seems to have a good memory and remembered where his old home was.¡± Yue Zhishi continued to carry Cotton Candy and placed a pearl meatball in his mouth. The soft and sticky glutinous rice and chewy ball of meat were meant to be eaten togeher, the separate delicious flavours doubling. He chewed carefully, eyes empty, and glanced at the messy front desk. He looked at those notebooks that carried the history of this restaurant.


    After swallowing, he sighed with feeling. ¡°Diseases like that are so scary. You clearly want to remember everything, but you end up forgetting even your favourite person. You forget how they look, and even their name.¡±


    Song Yu stared at Yue Zhishi. Under the restaurant¡¯s lights, Yue Zhishi¡¯s profile softened and looked a little young and ignorant.


    He opened his mouth, his voice as somber and indifferent as always. His words were very realistic.


    ¡°Even if it wasn¡¯t because of a disease, memories aren¡¯t something you can control. It also doesn¡¯t mean your feelings won¡¯t change just because you don¡¯t forget someone. Maybe after a very long time, you still remember this person¡¯s existence ¡ª but his place in your heart is already very different. Compared to being forced to forget someone because of Alzheimer¡¯s, it¡¯s even more tragic to have that kind of ending.¡±


    Relationships between people were always very delicate and fragile. Everyone continuously walked forward, moving in every single direction. People were like hasty ants, always so lost in their own busyness that they lose contact with the people around them. That was why Song Yu hated establishing deep personal relationships: he¡¯d rather save his efforts and avoid danger to his heart in advance.


    ¡°In this world, it is so easy for people to lose one another.¡±


    Lose.


    Song Yu¡¯s words were a bit too profound for Yue Zhishi. He seemed to understand what Song Yu was saying, but at the same time he didn¡¯t ¡ª and this made him feel very vaguely melancholy. He thought about the feeling of losing Cotton Candy, thought about the granny foolishly waiting in front of Yanghe Qizhe¡¯s door and released a sigh just like an adult, the white fog floating up and covering his eyes.


    Seeing him like this, Song Yu actually wanted to slightly laugh. He wanted to say, let¡¯s eat, don¡¯t think about it anymore, but he didn¡¯t have the chance to open his mouth.


    ¡°We won¡¯t lose each other.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s empty, yet determined eyes gathered onto his body.


    Song Yu looked at him and stayed silent for a moment. Yue Zhishi was very clear that his silence meant he didn¡¯t agree, so he continued, ¡°If we separate from each other, I¡¯ll definitely try my best to find you.¡±


    His expression was so serious, so earnest, and he spoke as if his words were true and beyond doubt.


    ¡°No need.¡±


    Song Yu refused him very decisively, frustrating Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart. But in the next second, he heard Song Yu continue.


    ¡°Your sense of direction is too terrible.¡± Song Yu gave him another meatball and looked into his pair of confused eyes.


    ¡°Just stay where you are and wait for me.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    It¡¯s already winter break, are gege¡¯s college entrance examinations still far away?

 CH 26

    Chapter 26: To Be Dependent on Someone Else¡¯s Grace


    Yue Zhishi had been very eager for winter break, but as a year three student soon to face the high school entrance examinations, his actual holiday was pitifully short at only seventeen days. He spent three days catching up on sleep at the very start of the break, and one fifth of his holiday disappeared. The few days celebrating Lunar New Year also flew by very quickly, and in the blink of an eye, only half of his break remained.


    This feeling was almost exactly how it felt to chase after manga chapter updates ¡ª new chapters were eagerly, keenly opened, but before you felt like you¡¯ve read enough, there was no more and you could no longer continue.


    Holidays never lasted long enough.


    Song Yu went back to school one week earlier than he did, and Yue Zhishi lonesomely worked on his homework by himself. The night before starting school again, he grabbed the homework questions he couldn¡¯t do and went to Song Yu¡¯s room. Song Yu was in the shower, so Yue Zhishi held his notebook and spun in circles where he stood, the new rug on the floor soft and comfortable underneath his feet. When he sat on it, he no longer felt the cold floor.


    He saw Song Yu¡¯s schoolbag on the floor, still yet to be packed away, and unintentionally glanced inside to see a few pouches of cat food.


    Why was gege bringing cat food to school? To give to friends?


    Yue Zhishi was too lazy to think too much about it. Since Song Yu wasn¡¯t in the room, he pulled out a raspberry flavoured lollipop from his pyjama pockets and threw it into his bag.


    Everyone started to feel the pressure of the upcoming high school entrance examinations after school resumed, and the study atmosphere around the school thickened heavily compared to before. The first round of mock exams arrived after only one week of classes. Yue Zhishi¡¯s results weren¡¯t too bad: he took first place in English, and his other scores were all in the upper ranges of his class. Even though his grades weren¡¯t at the very top, they were always very consistent, and he should have no problems entering Peiya high school¡¯s advanced classes. Lin Rong and Song Jin had also never truly required certain results from Song Yu and Yue Zhishi, so the two of them had a healthy mindset and weren¡¯t too nervous about their entrance examinations.


    Yue Zhishi was someone who was very clear about when to play and when to study. He would always finish his homework during the evening self-study sessions, his efficiency and focus at their very highest while he waited for gege to finish class. As long as he finished all of his work, he would be able to bike home together with Song Yu and might even be able to eat some late night snacks together ¡ª it was an unparalleled incentive.


    ¡°I¡¯m so jealous. It¡¯s not like you don¡¯t play around at all, and yet your scores are still so good.¡± Jiang Yufan was completing his flower bed cleaning duties for this week and was holding a broom higher than his head. He didn¡¯t pay attention to where he was sweeping, and accidentally swung the broom at Yue Zhishi. ¡°Your brother must¡¯ve given you some private attention over the winter break.¡±


    Yue Zhishi took the broom with a move like one of those martial artists in a television drama before he cleanly confessed, ¡°He didn¡¯t, he didn¡¯t have time to tutor me.¡±


    ¡°What was he so busy doing over the break?¡±


    ¡°Sleeping.¡± Yue Zhishi dropped the broom down and went to rescue the packaging of an instant noodle packet. It¡¯d been blown away by the wind just after being swept over. ¡°He slept for over ten hours every day, and after he woke up, he stayed in his room to watch movies or documentaries. Stuff like Earthflight or Voyage of the Continents.¡±


    ¡°How do you know?¡±


    ¡°I watched them with him after I finished my homework.¡± But he¡¯d lost focus more often than not and ended up falling asleep in Song Yu¡¯s bed.


    A girl who was on cleaning duty with them interjected, ¡°It must be nice to have an older brother at home. I want an older brother too.¡±


    Yue Zhishi completely agreed with her and even wanted to share his wonderful experiences of having a gege with her, but another girl spoke before he did. ¡°What¡¯s so good about having an older brother? Mine annoys and bullies me every day. I always wanted someone to take him away when I was younger.¡±


    She placed her iron dustpan on the floor after speaking, her face mysterious and yet slightly happy. ¡°But I¡¯ll soon escape from my days of suffering.¡±


    Jiang Yufan was very curious. ¡°What do you mean?¡±


    ¡°My mom agreed to let me go overseas for high school, and I just happen to have an aunt in Australia.¡± She then shared how she spent the winter break choosing high schools and preparing for the IELTS. Yue Zhishi focused on sweeping the instant noodle packaging into the iron dustpan and searched for his next target.


    ¡°You¡¯re leaving for overseas already?¡±


    ¡°I think it¡¯s pretty normal. A lot of students in the high school department aren¡¯t taking the college entrance examinations either,¡± the girl said.


    That¡¯s right. Yue Zhishi paused and leaned against the broom, nodding his head inside his mind. He thought of Song Yu as he listened to the girls talk uneasily about Peiya¡¯s examinations. Song Yu should be taking the college entrance examinations, but this was only a faint belief in Yue Zhishi¡¯s mind. He wasn¡¯t actually sure.


    Coincidentally, after they got home that night, Yue Zhishi was heading downstairs after his shower to grab his cell phone on the sofa. He just happened to hear Father Song talking very casually with Song Yu about various things happening at school. He walked up the stairs and heard Uncle Song say, ¡°Honestly, there are pros and cons for studying in country or going overseas. I think you already know what you want to do, and I¡¯ll support you no matter what you choose.¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s footsteps suddenly stopped as he heard those words, and his thoughts were thrown into disarray.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi.¡± Song Yu abruptly called his name. Yue Zhishi froze and turned his head to look at him.


    Song Yu stared at him and said after a little while, ¡°Sleep early. Come with me to school tomorrow.¡±


    He¡¯d thought gege had found the lollipop in his bag.


    ¡°Okay, I understand.¡± Yue Zhishi went back upstairs into his room.


    He thought again about what that female classmate had said earlier that day.


    Song Yu should be going overseas for college, right?


    Even though he¡¯d promised to sleep early, Yue Zhishi was unable to fall asleep all night. He climbed out of bed, opened his notebook and went online with questions like ¡®how to apply for high school overseas¡¯. However, for every question he typed in, the most information he would find were advertisements for overseas education agencies, and he found the general process utterly confusing. The only substantial information he obtained was that studying overseas required a lot of money ¡ª a lot more than he¡¯d initially expected.


    So then he spent a long amount of time calculating how much allowance money he¡¯d managed to save over the last few years.


    Yue Zhishi was ridiculously sleepy the next day. He forced himself out of bed and was completely dazed the entire way to school. He knew he would fall asleep, so he very purposefully chose to stand up when memorising his Chinese classics and stood for the entire morning self-study.


    He realised, as long as he¡¯d never paid attention to something before, it wasn¡¯t really all that important ¡ª but once he noticed it, that something would appear in front of him often enough that it was almost scary.


    For example ¡ª the advertisement for an overseas education agency plastered in front of the cafeteria entrance, the list of students going on an overseas study exchange on the notice board, or even a teacher randomly mentioning older students who were now studying in Ivy Leagues during class.


    During the Chinese literature class that afternoon, the teacher was talking about past papers from previous high school entrance examinations. Yue Zhishi¡¯s Chinese literature grades have never been especially good, particularly in reading comprehension. He¡¯d always felt he understood what the passages were talking about, and it was just that his way of thinking was different from the person creating the answers.


    It was always possible even the authors themselves had no idea their writing could be read that way.


    ¡°Next, let¡¯s look at the section on the Classics. This past exam chose to focus on Dream of the Red Chamber,¡± the Chinese literature teacher said as he pushed up his glasses. ¡°The first question. Characters in literature are often multi-faceted. Lin Daiyu in Dream of the Red Chamber is undoubtedly a very classic female example in literature. Using examples from the book, please briefly explain her personality characteristics and how those characteristics originated.¡±


    Personality characteristics. Yue Zhishi leaned his chin against his desk. His first thought was that she was literarily talented since she was very good at writing poems, but he suspected that didn¡¯t quite count as part of her personality.


    The teacher fortunately didn¡¯t pick him to answer and chose another student instead. That student stood up, and the first thing he said was, ¡°Always worried and anxious.¡±


    ¡°Okay, then can you now explain why she¡¯s like that?¡±


    The student loudly said, ¡°Because she had to depend on others for a roof over her head.¡± Questions for Dream of the Red Chamber should all be very similar, constantly linking Lin Daiyu with her dependence on someone else¡¯s grace and causing students to automatically blurt out that answer without too much thought.


    ¡°Give us a bit more details. Explain how her personality was affected by needing to live in someone else¡¯s house and rely on other people¡¯s generosity,¡± the teacher directed.


    He thought for a while. ¡°Since her parents both died when she was young, she needed to go to someone else¡¯s place to live.¡±


    The Yue Zhishi who had been seriously listening suddenly felt a bit strange. He self-consciously sat up straight and fiddled with the pen on top of his desk.


    ¡°And then she definitely couldn¡¯t act the same way in someone¡¯s else home like she could in her own. She¡¯d be scared of saying some things and wouldn¡¯t dare do other things, and even the money she used belonged to other people.¡± The other students in the class were all amused by this student¡¯s simple and straightforward explanation, and yet Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t find it funny at all.


    The teacher looked like he was satisfied with that answer and cited the original text. ¡°That¡¯s right. She needed to be careful about every single one of her movements, always paying attention to everything she did. She couldn¡¯t say a single extra word or walk just one extra step, for fear of being sneered at by others.¡±


    ¡°Yes, that¡¯s what I mean.¡± That student continued, ¡°Besides, the other family treated her so well despite not being actually blood-related. So she was even more anxious and sensitive and would always think a lot about things.¡±


    Yue Zhishi blinked and stared at the paper. He covered up his own answer of ¡®overflowing with literary talent¡¯ with some correction tape and wrote ¡®always worried and anxious¡¯. But after he looked at those words for two seconds, he covered it up again, this time with slightly impatient movements. Not only was he not able to cover up those words, the corner of the correction tape dispenser even tore a piece off the previous piece of tape he¡¯d laid down and revealed two words: ¡®literary talent¡¯.


    ¡°To be dependent on someone else¡¯s grace ¡ª well done.¡±


    The teacher gave that evaluation to his answer.


    ¨C


    Yue Zhishi had been very obedient as of late.


    As soon as he reached the monthly break, he ran to help Lin Rong as soon as he finished with his homework. Lin Rong was afraid he¡¯d be too tired so didn¡¯t let him do anything, but Yue Zhishi worked in spite of her words anyway, wiping down tables, washing the dishes or anything that needed to be done. Even the workers in the restaurant found his behaviour very strange.


    As soon as the phone rang, Yue Zhishi was the first one to run over and pick up the phone call in place of the front desk lady who¡¯d gone to the bathroom. ¡°Hello, this is Yanghe Qizhe¡­¡±


    ¡°¡­what?¡± Yue Zhishi was immediately shocked upon hearing the other party¡¯s words. He placed the phone down and ran to the break room. ¡°Aunt Rong, is your cell phone off?¡±


    Lin Rong was choosing the layout of the new menu. She reached for her phone and said, ¡°Ah, it really is turned off.¡±


    ¡°Grandpa¡¯s in the hospital,¡± Yue Zhishi said very urgently.


    The grandpa Yue Zhishi referred to was Song Yu¡¯s grandpa. He had two sons, and Song Jin was the younger of the two.


    In earlier years, the Song family didn¡¯t live in great economic conditions. Song Jin grew up in poverty and later started a business all by himself in order to gain his current economic freedom. Song Jin had always wanted to provide for his father, but his older brother had always refused to let him.


    Older Uncle Song, as the oldest son in the family, believed he and his family should be the ones to take care of Grandpa Song. Song Jin could only compromise by sending over a large amount of money for support every month in order to let his father live a bit more comfortably. He didn¡¯t expect his father to suddenly have an accident. Grandpa Song had been changing a light bulb while at home by himself and had accidentally slipped off his chair, breaking his right arm. Older Uncle Song hadn¡¯t been able to find a hospital bed, so he had no choice but to come find his younger brother.


    Lin Rong immediately went to find one of her friends and organised a VIP hospital room, while Song Jin also prepared to fly back to the country as early as possible. Since it happened to be the monthly break, Song Yu and Yue Zhishi also rushed to the hospital.


    Yue Zhishi held a very deep affection towards Grandpa Song. He¡¯d lived in his house for a little while when he¡¯d been in elementary school. Grandpa had taught him how to play spinning tops in the park and had brought him to play on random exercise machines in their neighbourhood. During summer breaks, Grandpa had even lived with them occasionally and had cooked very yummy crayfish for him to eat.


    So when he and Song Yu headed over, Yue Zhishi purchased a very large, very beautiful basket of fruit with his now extraordinarily precious allowance money. Song Yu scoffed at the heavy bag he was bringing to the hospital and even said only stupid people would buy fruit baskets from stores in front of the hospital, but Yue Zhishi thought it was money well spent as long as the fruits were still edible. Besides, it looked impressive to be carrying in a large fruit basket anyway.


    Song Yu was too lazy to argue, but he did help take his heavy impressiveness from him.


    The entrance to the VIP section of the hospital was very peaceful. Before they went inside, the two of them had thought they would see a very weak and fragile elderly person resting on the bed. But unexpectedly, Grandpa was brimming with as much energy and vigour as a dragon as he watched the Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils television drama, even almost getting off his bed once he saw his two grandchildren.


    ¡°Be careful, don¡¯t move around for no reason.¡± Song Yu placed down the fruit basket. ¡°Yue Zhishi bought this for you.¡±


    ¡°Aiyah, such a large basket. Too bad I don¡¯t have any roommates to show it off to ¡ª single hospital rooms are too boring.¡±


    Song Yu shook his head in his mind, thinking Yue Zhishi should be the actual blood-related grandchild. He went and told his grandpa about the things he needed to pay attention to after his orthopaedic surgery.


    ¡°Ah, Xiao Yu, how come you¡¯re still like this? You¡¯re even more boring than I am.¡± Grandpa gave Yue Zhishi a look. ¡°Le Le, did you bring the thing I asked for?¡±


    Yue Zhishi hummed in agreement and dropped his schoolbag onto the sofa, pulling it open. Song Yu only then found out why his bag was so heavy ¡ª the entire set of the Dragonball manga series was inside.


    Song Yu sighed, ¡°¡­Grandpa, you need to rest.¡±


    ¡°I know.¡± Grandpa put on his reading glasses and opened a volume. ¡°There¡¯s such a comfortable bed here, and I even have manga to read. There¡¯s no rest better than this.¡±


    Yue Zhishi introduced the overall storyline to Grandpa and tore open the plastic covering of the fruit basket. He grabbed an apple and prepared to wash it, but Grandpa told him the water faucet in the room was broken and yet to be fixed. He could only head outside to rinse the apple.


    ¡°Turn right, then walk straight down the corridor. Then turn left.¡±


    ¡°No problem.¡±


    Yue Zhishi chose the largest apple he could see and followed Grandpa¡¯s directions to the public toilet. He didn¡¯t expect to meet his aunt and her new daughter-in-law, and they looked like they were buying some coffee. Yue Zhishi¡¯s footsteps paused.


    He needed time to think about what to call them.


    The wife of his paternal aunt¡¯s son is¡­


    Let¡¯s try again. If his paternal aunt¡¯s son is older than him, then he was called tang ge. The wife of his tang ge is tang sao. Right.


    After he managed to calculate the right names for everyone, Yue Zhishi suddenly felt a random spurt of pride. He was getting ready to walk closer to ask after his new cousin¡¯s wife when the two people not too far away started talking about him.


    ¡°Mom, out of the two who just arrived, which one is our cousin?¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t recognise people from our own family?¡±


    Her words were very clearly rebuking, and Yue Zhishi was momentarily stunned, no longer moving.


    It felt like there were many small pins piercing into his face.


    ¡°Ah, I was about to say.¡± The new daughter-in-law smiled awkwardly. ¡°That brown haired boy looked like he was mixed. You can immediately tell he doesn¡¯t belong to our family. He must be the child uncle brought home?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s him.¡± His aunt sipped her coffee, sat down on a chair and released a long sigh. ¡°If you think about it, he must¡¯ve lived with them for at least ten years by now.¡±


    It would be twelve years soon. Yue Zhishi silently retorted as he subconsciously retreated backwards until he was behind the corridor corner again.


    She drank another sip of coffee and said, ¡°The things he eats, where he lives, what he uses, the school he goes to ¡ª everything is exactly the same as his own son. They even take him along when they go overseas for holidays. It¡¯s not like that boy is easy to take care of either. Who knows how many times he needed to stay in a hospital when he was younger? Plus hiring all those drivers to take him to and from school ¡ª they only relaxed a bit after he grew up.¡±


    She appeared to remember something. ¡°I heard your father say that boy is just like his blood father. That Yue Yi used to daily eat and live at the Song family¡¯s house. Who would¡¯ve expected his son to also be a parasite.¡±


    Her new daughter-in-law also sat down. ¡°Uncle truly is strange. He doesn¡¯t care much for his own nephew, but he cares so much for someone else¡¯s child.¡±


    ¡°Stop bringing it up. Your husband, my son, has never received much kindness from that side of the family. He missed entering Peiya by just a few points. We looked for your uncle for help, but he wasn¡¯t willing to help us with such a simple thing.¡±


    ¡°That is a bit too stingy. I was just at the window earlier, and I saw that child carrying an especially large fruit basket before he gave it to cousin. It looks like that child doesn¡¯t think about how much money he¡¯s spending. He¡¯s more delicate compared to cousin as well. Say, seeing how uncle is so willing to take care of someone else¡¯s child, do you think¡­ that child¡¯s relationship with him isn¡¯t so simple¡­¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s fists clenched in anger, and he prepared to rush up there to clarify things. His father wasn¡¯t ¡®someone else¡¯, his name was Yue Yi, and Uncle Song wasn¡¯t the kind of person they were talking about.


    But he wasn¡¯t able to head out ¡ª someone caught his wrist.


    Yue Zhishi turned around for a look and saw Song Yu with an extremely ugly look on his face.


    Song Yu pulled Yue Zhishi behind him and walked out himself.


    ¡°What kind of relationship do you think it is?¡±


    Carrying her paper cup of coffee, their cousin-in-law stood up with an awkward look on her face and looked like she didn¡¯t know what to say.


    Song Yu stared straight at her, his face icy enough to scare others.


    ¡°Cousin, do you recognise me? Do you know who I am?¡±


    ¡°Yes, you¡¯re Xiao Yu, right? Just then, I was just concerned¡­¡±


    Song Yu interrupted her words without a single care.


    ¡°Outsiders don¡¯t need to worry about our family¡¯s matters.¡±

 CH 27

    Chapter 27: A Soft Flame


    Yue Zhishi stood behind Song Yu, unable to say a single word.


    He¡¯d always gone with the family to see their relatives during Lunar New Year and other festivals. Everyone had always warmly and enthusiastically asked about how his studies were going or how his life was ¡ª he¡¯d never once heard such sharp and harsh words. They came out so fiercely, and Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t used to them at all.


    Yue Zhishi realised, after such a long while, everyone had only been pretending to be gentle and kind towards him. In their hearts, he was only a parasite.


    He¡¯d been protected too well, to the point he really did consider himself as Song Yu¡¯s real younger brother. He had completely forgotten his true reality of being sent to live under someone else¡¯s roof.


    ¡°What outsiders?¡± Their aunt¡¯s face was flushed with colour. ¡°Your cousin was only thinking of you. You child, you¡¯re just like your father, always liking to sacrifice yourself for others, to raise someone else¡¯s child. Do you think all your money was blown over by some wind?¡±


    Song Yu calmly responded, ¡°All our money came from Uncle Yue. He gave his entire life savings to my dad in a gamble.¡±


    He looked towards his aunt, eyes sharp. ¡°Maybe I¡¯m too young and don¡¯t remember anything, but I just wanted to ask. Back when my father was just starting his business and didn¡¯t have enough cash flow, did uncle help him at all?¡±


    She immediately had nothing to say, and her expression started to look a bit ugly. She finally forced out, ¡°Back¡­ back then we weren¡¯t too well off either.¡±


    ¡°Sure.¡± Song Yu nodded his head as if he was an inquisitor who had just gotten the answer he¡¯d wanted.


    ¡°Since you never helped, then it has nothing to do with you.¡±


    ¡°You!¡± His aunt stood up in anger, her new daughter-in-law patting her back to help calm her down. Song Yu¡¯s cousin looked at Song Yu in dissatisfaction. ¡°Cousin, only we are a family. Acting like this is too harmful towards family members¡­¡±


    Song Yu abruptly laughed. It looked like she didn¡¯t expect that reaction at all and couldn¡¯t finish the words she wanted to say. When Yue Zhishi looked at Song Yu, his face was even icier than before.


    ¡°The word ¡®family¡¯ sounds so cheap coming out of your mouths.¡±


    This was the first time Yue Zhishi has ever seen such a harsh, scathing part of Song Yu¡¯s personality. Song Yu held his wrist and led him out of there.


    This was completely out of Yue Zhishi¡¯s expectations. He¡¯d thought Song Yu would walk ahead by himself like he usually did, with Yue Zhishi following behind him.


    Maybe it was because Song Yu guessed he couldn¡¯t move ¡ª he had no way of removing himself from such an unbearable situation.


    They didn¡¯t speak the entire way back to Grandpa¡¯s hospital room. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t really want to talk. The unwashed apple sat heavily in his hand, and when Song Yu entered the room, he gave his grandpa his premeditated excuse, saying the outside bathroom was also under repair with no way to get in.


    Grandpa was fully absorbed in his manga. He¡¯d never wanted to eat some fruit anyway, so he wasn¡¯t the slightest bit suspicious about Song Yu¡¯s words. His reading glasses perched on his nose, and he waved Yue Zhishi over to his side. ¡°Quickly come, read with me. This bit is really interesting.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded and went to sit on the side of the hospital bed. He eventually ended up lying down next to Grandpa while they read the manga together. If this was any other usual day, he would¡¯ve happily, enthusiastically introduced every single character and their abilities to Grandpa. But he wasn¡¯t able to find any interest in the manga at all, and it was like squeezing out toothpaste talking to him ¡ª only one sentence for every question asked.


    After ten minutes, their aunt and new cousin finally sat outside for long enough and also came into the room. The two of them acted as if nothing had happened, talking to them with their faces wreathed with smiles. ¡°Xiao Yu¡¯s here too. You should eat dinner with us later tonight, there¡¯s a decent restaurant nearby.¡±


    ¡°Your parents will come by later too.¡± Their aunt looked particularly at Yue Zhishi, the corners of her mouth hoisted high and supporting her uplifted cheeks. ¡°Le Le, right, why don¡¯t you come too? What do you like to eat? How about hot pot?¡±


    It felt like there was something clogging up Yue Zhishi¡¯s throat. He gazed at their aunt, his eyelashes lightly trembling.


    ¡°He won¡¯t be going,¡± Song Yu said decisively in a slightly icy voice. ¡°He can¡¯t eat outside things.¡±


    Grandpa took care of Yue Zhishi for a little while, so he knew about his allergy. ¡°That¡¯s right, Le Le needs to be careful about what he eats.¡± He rubbed Yue Zhishi¡¯s head. ¡°Just wait until my arm¡¯s better. I¡¯ll make some barbecue ribs for you. Didn¡¯t you really like to eat my ribs before?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± Yue Zhishi raised his head from the bed and smiled at Grandpa.


    There were many times Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t understand how the world of adults worked.


    Just like how, at this very moment, he didn¡¯t understand how the two of them could pretend nothing had happened despite having their words and faces torn to such ugly pieces by Song Yu earlier. They still continued to talk freely, faking a beautiful, friendly family relationship, as if they held no grudge at all.


    His chin pushed into the bed¡¯s pure white blanket, that pair of large yet beautiful eyes looking at the aunt easily chatting away before they turned to the gentle and submissive new cousin-in-law. At the end, maybe because his eyes started to burn, but he closed them for a little while. When he opened his eyes again, he just happened to meet Song Yu¡¯s gaze.


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t quite describe Song Yu¡¯s mood at that moment. He was frowning, and his expression seemed to be a bit more complicated than just being slightly upset. Yue Zhishi tilted his head and didn¡¯t change his expression at all, looking as he was acting spoiled towards Song Yu.


    Good thing Song Yu was here ¡ª he covered Yue Zhishi like a suit of armour.


    Only then could Yue Zhishi naturally, instinctively hide away.


    He¡¯d always wanted to be someone courageous, willing to face any difficulties head on like every single protagonist in a manga series. But sometimes, even he needed to find a place to hide.


    ¡°Grandpa.¡± Song Yu stood up from the sofa. ¡°I¡¯ll take Le Le home now.¡±


    Hearing his nickname rather than his full name, Yue Zhishi lifted his head, eyes slightly surprised.


    ¡°You¡¯re going back so early.¡± Grandpa was a bit unhappy and lifted his head to touch the top of Yue Zhishi¡¯s head. ¡°You don¡¯t want to play a bit longer, Le Le?¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡±


    Song Yu lied for the second time without a single change on his face. ¡°He still has tutoring lessons.¡± He then added, ¡°It¡¯s almost time for high school entrance exams.¡±


    Grandpa didn¡¯t force them to stay after hearing those words. He nagged a few words, saying while studies were important, they needed to take care of their bodies too. He even told them to come visit him more often if they weren¡¯t too busy.


    Yue Zhishi only nodded and didn¡¯t say too many things. He didn¡¯t really want to do much in front of their aunt, just in case she thought he went overboard and acted as if he really was trying to be part of their family.


    Naturally, she sent them off with a bunch of polite greetings. She completed her role to its fullest, walking them all the way to the elevator without a single shred of unkindness.


    As they left the hospital, Yue Zhishi only then realised that she actually didn¡¯t know he had been just behind the corner, that she didn¡¯t know he¡¯d heard everything she said. Song Yu blocking him from coming out was actually to save his last bits of dignity.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t speak as they got on the taxi. He looked very unhappy.


    Yue Zhishi possessed a very subtle, almost extraordinary ability to perceive Song Yu¡¯s moods that no one else had. It was normally very hard to know what Song Yu was feeling ¡ª he very rarely changed his facial expressions, and since he also didn¡¯t speak much, he was essentially like playing an emotion recognition game in hard mode. But Yue Zhishi was always able to detect Song Yu¡¯s feelings from the most delicate of changes.


    It was most likely from the changes in the atmosphere.


    It was early spring, and this city¡¯s spring season was always exceptionally lush. The reflection of Song Yu¡¯s face on the car window rested in the midst of a large swath of greenery, and he stared ahead at the car windshield, thinking of Yue Zhishi¡¯s pale face and bewildered eyes as he lay on the hospital bed.


    Ever since he was young, Yue Zhishi had never faced complex people or things. Sometimes he was so naive there was no way he would survive in this world, always directly and straightforwardly questioning, expressing or displaying his emotions ¡ª but his type of directness was as harmless as a soft flick of flame, the flare and heat muted and gentle.


    Song Yu wanted to say something.


    He kept feeling he should say something.


    Yue Zhishi shifted closer towards Song Yu, arm touching against arm, and the back of his hand accidentally brushed against Song Yu¡¯s.


    If this was a usual day, Song Yu would¡¯ve said why are you crowding so close against me, or maybe he would¡¯ve turned and glanced at him, or maybe he would¡¯ve done nothing at all and continued to stare outside the window.


    But today was different. Song Yu, who Yue Zhishi thought was very angry, lifted his hand and wrapped it around Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand that had accidentally touched his. He didn¡¯t say anything, and neither did he turn his head around.


    The warmth of his palm said everything he wanted to say.


    Suddenly, Yue Zhishi thought of Cotton Candy.


    He regretted attending that winter camp. He wanted to personally see how Song Yu had looked like when he¡¯d found Cotton Candy. Had it been just like this? Without a single word, he¡¯d went and held onto Cotton Candy¡¯s paw.


    And then Cotton Candy had followed him home.


    ¨C


    Once they returned home, Yue Zhishi worked on his homework and reviewed his lessons straight until 9:50pm, tiring himself out until he couldn¡¯t think of anything else. He hadn¡¯t eaten much when they had dinner earlier, so now he was a bit peckish and wanted to find something to eat downstairs. The house may not have everything, but there was never a short supply of food.


    Yue Zhishi went into the kitchen and saw Lin Rong¡¯s sticky note attached to the fridge. It said: [There are cinnamon rolls in the oven, warm them up before you eat.]


    He gave up on the fridge and headed to the oven. He was too lazy to heat up the rolls, so he directly opened the oven door and pulled out a wheat-free cinnamon roll.


    It was already warmed up. Was it gege?


    The icing on top of the roll smelled amazing, and Yue Zhishi stood there next to the countertop and slowly ate the roll piece by piece. Even though the kitchen was essentially a half-open kitchen style, his entire person was tucked into a corner and was completely hidden by the fridge.


    Yue Zhishi wanted another roll after finishing one, so he pulled out another piece. He¡¯d just taken one bite when he heard the door open. Lin Rong and Song Jin had just come home.


    He¡¯d just had that realisation when Lin Rong said, full of anger, ¡°Let me tell you, I¡¯ve held in my anger for a long time already. If you need to visit your brother in the future, you go ahead and go ¡ª I¡¯m not going anymore. Today¡¯s dinner pissed me off way too much.¡±


    Song Jin sounded a bit helpless. ¡°Don¡¯t be so angry, your face is all flushed.¡±


    ¡°From my makeup!¡± Lin Rong threw her bag onto the sofa. ¡°Dad already slipped and had an accident. They couldn¡¯t even take him to a nicer hospital, they just had to wait until you gave them some money before they signed the surgery papers. What were they thinking? Were they not worried after Dad fell? He¡¯s already so old, how could he be okay after a fall? They¡¯re seriously pissing me off!¡±


    ¡°And your sister-in-law. I get so annoyed every time she speaks ¡ª it¡¯s only ever talk about money coming out of that mouth. Do we owe her a few million or something?¡±


    Song Jin massaged her shoulders. ¡°That¡¯s just the way she is. Don¡¯t hold it against her.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t understand why he didn¡¯t just walk out. Maybe because of that morning, but he subconsciously shrunk back behind the fridge.


    ¡°And that new daughter-in-law of theirs. What kind of words was she saying during dinner¡­¡±


    After hearing some noise, Song Yu came downstairs as well. He saw his mother full of righteous anger and didn¡¯t ask about it. Unexpectedly, a large pot suddenly came and fell directly onto his head.


    ¡°Song Yu!¡±


    Song Yu paused in the middle of stairs and looked at his mom after hearing her call his name.


    ¡°I¡¯m telling you now. If you bring home that kind of daughter-in-law, I¡¯m going to break your legs.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t have much of a reaction to his mother¡¯s rare vicious words and lifted his legs to start walking again. Lin Rong continued, ¡°Good thing they didn¡¯t say anything directly in front of Le Le, or else I really would¡¯ve started yelling at them.¡±


    Yue Zhishi silently thought, well, I¡¯ve pretty much heard everything already.


    Her voice lowered, and she started to sound a bit heartbroken. ¡°I felt so uncomfortable as I heard them talk about Le Le. What do they mean by ¡®be careful about raising an ungrateful wolf¡¯ ¡ª are those words a human will actually say? After so many years, I¡¯ve long thought of him as my own son. Just think ¡ª such a small little thing following around after me. It wasn¡¯t easy for him to grow up.¡±


    ¡°I know,¡± Song Jin sighed. ¡°You cried every time he was sick.¡±


    ¡°I really didn¡¯t feel comfortable today. After hearing them talk, I thought about how one day Le Le will leave me after he¡¯s all grown up. I¡¯m upset just thinking about it.¡± She looked at Song Jin again. ¡°I was so happy when he wanted to call me mom when he was younger.¡± She hit Song Jin a few times. ¡°But it¡¯s all your fault, you didn¡¯t let him call me that.¡±


    Song Jin grabbed her hand and laughed. ¡°It would¡¯ve been too good for you. You already gained a little baby for free, and to even have him call you mom? Did you think about how your son or Olivia would¡¯ve felt?¡±


    Song Yu walked past with the words ¡®I have no interest in this conversation¡¯ written all over his face and went to find some water. Cotton Candy appeared out of nowhere and snuggled up to his legs, bouncing up and down and looking as if he wanted Song Yu to pick him up.


    Lin Rong sighed. ¡°Such a pity. Too bad Yue Yi didn¡¯t give birth to a daughter. It would¡¯ve been so nice if Le Le was a girl. He¡¯s already so obedient and pretty. Where can you find a girl as good as him nowadays? He could¡¯ve directly been our daughter-in-law, and would¡¯ve been a hundred times better than the one we had dinner with today.¡± She then said to Song Yu without skipping a beat, ¡°Right, Xiao Yu?¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s back was facing towards them, and he coolly said, ¡°As long as you guys are happy.¡±


    He lazily walked towards the fridge, pulled open the door and grabbed out a bottle of soda water. He then closed the door. He did not expect to see Yue Zhishi hiding in the corner behind the fridge, still holding half a cinnamon roll and staring at him with his large eyes. Yue Zhishi stood there a bit awkwardly and gave him a slightly foolish smile.


    Song Yu hadn¡¯t even drank his water yet when he forcefully choked.


    The author has something to say:


    Le Le: What do you mean by ¡®as long as you guys are happy¡¯?


    Little Jade: ¡­¡­¡­¡­

 CH 28

    Chapter 28: A Change in Plans


    Yue Zhishi motioned for Song Yu to hush and lightly tugged on one of his pyjama sleeves. His pair of eyes looked pitifully at him, begging Song Yu to not expose him.


    Song Yu cleared his throat and recovered his usual demeanour. He wasn¡¯t planning on revealing Yue Zhishi to his parents anyway, so he prepared to walk away.


    But Yue Zhishi held onto his sleeve and shook his head at him. Yue Zhishi was wearing a pair of dusty blue pyjamas, hair slightly mussed, and in Song Yu¡¯s eyes, this all made him look particularly small and fragile.


    Song Yu stopped moving and met Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes for a few seconds. His face shifted, taking on a look of slight helplessness, and he took one step forward closer to Yue Zhishi.


    Yue Zhishi pointed at his stomach before showing Song Yu the cinnamon roll in his hand. Song Yu pretty much understood what happened and calmly took a sip of water.


    Lin Rong decided to call out, ¡°Xiao Yu, there are some cinnamon rolls in the oven. Give them a try, they¡¯re really nice.¡±


    Song Yu responded to her without any real inflection in his voice, his eyes staring at Yue Zhishi and the icing smeared across one of his cheeks.


    ¡°It does look quite yummy.¡±


    Yue Zhishi quickly stuffed the remaining half of his roll into his mouth and wiped his face and hands clean.


    Hearing her taciturn older son suddenly give her a word of praise, Lin Rong was immensely pleased. ¡°Then you guys should give some to your classmates tomorrow. I bet Xiao Yan will love them.¡±


    ¡°Mm.¡± Song Yu held onto his bottle. After thinking about it, he decided to help Yue Zhishi escape from this precarious situation, so he said to his parents, ¡°Aren¡¯t you guys going to clean up for bed?¡±


    Lin Rong was lying on her husband. ¡°I¡¯m not in any rush.¡±


    Song Yu then said, ¡°It¡¯s really late.¡± He walked out of the kitchen and pointed at the clock. ¡°You¡¯ll distract your true born son from sleeping if you keep walking up and down the stairs.¡± These words were a bit amusing coming out of his calm, emotionless voice.


    Song Jin laughed and got up to go upstairs, thinking his words were reasonable. Lin Rong was also amused and ran to Song Yu after getting off the sofa. ¡°Hey, are you being jealous of Le Le?¡±


    Thinking she was planning on heading over to where he was, Yue Zhishi frantically squeezed himself behind the fridge, practically sitting onto the countertop directly.


    Song Yu, with absolutely no change in his face or voice, grabbed his mother¡¯s shoulders and pushed her outside. ¡°Upstairs. Shower.¡±


    He only walked back into the open plan kitchen after he finished rushing his parents upstairs and made sure they closed the door of their master bedroom. He saw Yue Zhishi sitting on the countertop and thought it was a bit funny.


    But he didn¡¯t laugh ¡ª because if he thought about it again, he would find Yue Zhishi very pitiful.


    He never wanted Yue Zhishi to be trapped in this kind of situation again.


    ¡°Thank you, gege.¡± Yue Zhishi jumped off the countertop. He begged Song Yu to go upstairs together with him as a human shield, just in case Lin Rong decided to come out of her room.


    Song Yu knew there was no way he would be able to actually hide Yue Zhishi behind his body, but he agreed anyway, walking with him all the way until they safely reached the entrance of Yue Zhishi¡¯s room. Before he shut the door, Yue Zhishi very softly told him goodnight. Song Yu nodded, and then he heard Yue Zhishi speak again.


    ¡°Song Yu gege, don¡¯t be angry. It¡¯s not good for your body.¡±


    He said those words very earnestly.


    Song Yu suddenly didn¡¯t know what he should say.


    His peaceful, quiet heart always seemed to sprout very complicated emotions because of the person in front of him. Earlier in the day, he¡¯d gone to look for Yue Zhishi because he¡¯d thought he wouldn¡¯t be able to find his way around the hospital to wash his apple and had accidentally overheard those pile of words. He¡¯d clearly known these relatives had inferior moral character, and he¡¯d clearly known he shouldn¡¯t be saying those words as the younger generation ¡ª but Song Yu had said them anyway. He didn¡¯t even feel satisfied after he finished.


    He started to believe everything in the world was fair. Once someone believed they treated everyone normally with icy aloofness, all their missing empathy and compassion will gather and surround one certain person.


    He detested feeling empathy. It was a persistent, uncontrollable feeling of suffering on behalf of someone else, and he would always feel it after seeing Yue Zhishi¡¯s face.


    Just like this very moment, his heart once again stirring in pain.


    Yue Zhishi thought everything necessary had been said and prepared to close his door. Song Yu stood just beyond, and he watched as Song Yu¡¯s silhouette was sliced by the closing door until it turned into a small and thin line, narrower and narrower. He watched until just a thread remained. Suddenly, a hand shoved its way in and held onto the doorframe.


    ¡°I¡¯m not angry.¡±


    He was very surprised and urgently swung open the door.


    He¡¯d almost hit Song Yu¡¯s hand.


    But emotions changed too quickly ¡ª before Yue Zhishi could ask after Song Yu¡¯s hand, his heart was already busy with something else.


    Song Yu stood just outside Yue Zhishi¡¯s door, caged by the darkness of the corridor. Yue Zhishi was standing inside his room, highlighted by the warm light, and Song Yu reached out and wrapped his hands around him. He gave him an unexpected embrace on the edges of their worlds.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be sad.¡±


    For the rest of the night, Yue Zhishi was unable to calm down. He didn¡¯t understand why either, but maybe it was because too many things happened today. He woke up once in the middle of the night, got out of bed and sat at his desk after turning on the desk lamp. He pulled out a piece of paper. It was an action plan for studying overseas, and he¡¯d spent over one week working on it. He seriously read through it again, one more time.


    Loopholes everywhere, and impossible to succeed. Yue Zhishi evaluated it so and decided ¡ª since it was impossible anyway, he¡¯ll give up his plan of studying overseas.


    Honestly speaking, he felt more upset hearing Lin Rong¡¯s words than the cold and mocking words that aunt of theirs had said. Because they were so good to him, Yue Zhishi had no way to continue being an ignorant child, easily and comfortably accepting all the good things they gave him. If he relied on just himself, there was no way he would be able to save all the money he needed to study overseas in the remaining time he had before Song Yu left.


    And if both Yue Zhishi and Song Yu left home, then Aunt Rong will definitely find it hard to be away from him.


    He crumbled his action plan into a ball and climbed back into bed to continue sleeping. This time he slept much more easily. He dreamed only once.


    He dreamed he was at the airport sending Song Yu off. He couldn¡¯t stop crying, and Song Yu eventually had no choice but to hug him.


    Song Yu said, don¡¯t be sad.


    Yue Zhishi woke the next morning in a daze and told himself it was only a dream.


    Because he wouldn¡¯t have let himself cry.


    ¨C


    After giving up his plan for studying overseas, Yue Zhishi was much more relaxed the next few weeks. But he knew, if Song Yu wanted to go, it meant they wouldn¡¯t see each other very much over the course of a year. Yue Zhishi could already predict it would be difficult for him to get used to the separation; after all, he¡¯d never been apart from Song Yu for such a long time before.


    Thinking about it, it felt like someone was lightly twisting Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart. So he decided to get used to it early, and the way he decided to get used to it was to try his best to not look for Song Yu.


    It was quite difficult when he initially started, since Yue Zhishi¡¯s world had pretty much always revolved around Song Yu. Especially after everyone learned about their relationship, he had given up all pretences and followed around Song Yu as much as he wanted. But Yue Zhishi was an earnest and serious person: once he decided on something, no one would be able to change his mind. He believed Song Yu wouldn¡¯t look for him by himself, since he was even busier than Yue Zhishi, but they had other ways of communicating ¡ª like the sticky notes on the fridge or the times they would talk to each other over midnight snacks.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t intentionally dodge away. He just wanted to learn how to grow up.


    His studies were actually a fantastic distraction. Yue Zhishi threw himself entirely into his studies, staying in school during the afternoon break and reviewing until very late every night. His grades reflected his efforts, and his school ranking after midterms shot up by twenty-three spots. Yue Zhishi had always been content to stay in the upper middle rankings, but he entered his year¡¯s top-ranking students with just one jump. Class adviser Wang Qian was so overjoyed by his progress that he spent over a minute praising him during their night self-study session.


    After exams, it was Yue Zhishi¡¯s turn to put on the armbands of a student on duty. He and the other student on duty grabbed a notebook after the night self-study session and went around their assigned areas, noting down areas that still needed to be cleaned.


    Yue Zhishi found it very strange. ¡°Why does Peiya get students to go around checking for cleanliness at night? It¡¯s so dark.¡±


    His male classmate laughed. ¡°Maybe we¡¯re not just checking for cleanliness.¡±


    Yue Zhishi looked at him, and his classmate joked again, ¡°Isn¡¯t our nickname the ¡®anti-sex brigade¡¯?¡±


    Yue Zhishi wondered, would there really be couples meeting up in such dark places?


    These places were clearly more suited for the opening scenes of horror films. How could anyone¡¯s heart be moved?


    The road outside the school¡¯s poplar tree grove was very close to the cafeteria and was often a disaster zone for cleanliness. His classmate noted down the area while Yue Zhishi looked around the place, and he accidentally saw a very familiar figure. That figure seemed to have his phone torch on, a beam of bright light in the dark.


    He could immediately tell it was Song Yu, even though he saw only his back.


    Song Yu walked through the trees until he reached the old school buildings at the back. That area was surrounded by an iron fence with constant rumours of it soon being torn down. Yue Zhishi was a bit curious and unconsciously started walking towards it.


    Once he was a bit closer, he saw Song Yu kneel down in front of the fence and pull out a pouch from his schoolbag. His two hands couldn¡¯t hold onto it, so the light from his phone torch skewed to the side and shone onto the grass behind the fence, shining onto the animals heading towards Song Yu.


    They were the school¡¯s stray cats.


    There were many of them, and they came one after another. They looked like they were all in the habit of gathering at this place at this time, and they waited for Song Yu to pour cat food into the small container left at the corner of the fence before they went to enjoy their dinner.


    Yue Zhishi finally learned why Song Yu had cat food in his schoolbag to bring to school.


    He didn¡¯t know why, but his heart started to beat faster, going a bit tingly as if it had been licked by a kitten.


    ¡°What¡¯re you looking at?¡± His classmate followed him over. ¡°There¡¯s not really someone hiding here on a date, right?¡±


    Yue Zhishi guiltily turned around and shook his head. ¡°No. I just got distracted.¡±


    He didn¡¯t walk over to where Song Yu was, and he also didn¡¯t want his classmate to discover Song Yu¡¯s location.


    More often than not, Yue Zhishi was the only person who could understand Song Yu. He knew, no matter who it was, if someone actually appeared in front of Song Yu right now and witnessed his actions, Song Yu wouldn¡¯t be too happy.


    He was a very strange person ¡ª he was never able to openly show his innate kindness to others.


    So even his tenderness was always concealed away.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± His classmate was a bit curious, seeing Yue Zhishi in a trance.


    Yue Zhishi only shook his head. ¡°I was just thinking I shouldn¡¯t assume things so easily.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± The other guy didn¡¯t understand what he was saying, but Yue Zhishi simply glossed over his words and changed the conversation.


    He¡¯d assumed people¡¯s hearts wouldn¡¯t be moved in these places.


    But that was before he saw Song Yu in the darkness.


    When he got back home that night, he couldn¡¯t quite focus on his homework and drew a picture.


    A cold and indifferent high school student dressed in his uniform surrounded by a pack of lonely stray cats with no one to rely on.


    After he finished drawing, Yue Zhishi stayed in a daze for a very long time until he heard the sound of the room next door opening. He heard Song Yu go downstairs, and he abruptly startled awake, flipping over his pieces of paper, and took a few deep breaths before he started working on his homework again.


    The happiest person at Yue Zhishi¡¯s large grades improvement was Lin Rong. She prepared a large table¡¯s worth of dishes the night of their monthly break, the splendour and variety possibly surpassing their usual Lunar New Year family dinner. Yue Zhishi had been too tired and under too much pressure during this time frame, so he actually had a slight flu the day of his monthly break. He¡¯d napped the entire afternoon after taking some medicine. He blearily stumbled his way down the stairs and just happened to bump into the Song Yu who had just been released from school.


    Maybe because he was still a bit confused from his nap, but he suddenly felt a bit strange ¡ª it felt like it¡¯d been a long time since he saw Song Yu.


    Even though he clearly had peeped at him not too long ago.


    The flu medicine left a bitter taste in his mouth, and this was the first time Yue Zhishi felt little interest towards a celebratory dinner. He needed to chew a piece of beef tenderloin twenty times before he could swallow it. Song Jin and Lin Rong kept praising him over the table, and while Yue Zhishi was very happy about it, he was also slightly unhappy.


    But he couldn¡¯t explain why he was unhappy. He could only look at Song Yu¡¯s face every time he felt a pang of unhappiness.


    Song Yu slowly, meticulously ate his food. He was very quiet and wasn¡¯t too different from how he normally was; his usual habit was to finish off his meal with a bit of soup, so Yue Zhishi guessed he had finished eating and was preparing to leave when Song Yu swallowed his last mouthfuls of soup. His unhappiness grew even more obvious.


    But things didn¡¯t happen the way he thought they would.


    Song Yu placed down his bowl. He said, directing his words to the parents who were planning a holiday trip after their two children finished their high school and college entrance exams, ¡°I¡¯ve decided which university I want to apply for.¡±


    Song Jin put down his chopsticks. ¡°Really? Which one?¡± He understood Song Yu¡¯s personality and knew he had strong opinions ever since he was young, which is why he then said, ¡°The colleges I mentioned last time were for you to reference and consider only, but I did think they were pretty good. It¡¯ll really depend on what you want to study as your major. There should still be enough time to get everything ready since the semester doesn¡¯t start until spring.¡±


    Song Yu waited for his father to finish speaking before he opened his mouth. ¡°Dad, I don¡¯t plan on going overseas.¡±

 CH 29

    Chapter 29: Late Night Chat by the Lake


    His words came very abruptly.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know why, but the piece of shrimp he¡¯d just picked up fell straight out of his chopsticks and back into his bowl.


    Lin Rong seemed to not really understand. ¡°What do you mean you¡¯re not going?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not leaving the country.¡± Song Yu was very calm. ¡°I¡¯m going to take the college entrance examinations, and I¡¯ve already thought about what I want to do afterwards and what I want to major in. I don¡¯t want to waste time exploring other options.¡±


    Yue Zhishi finished dinner in the midst of his doubt and confusion.


    In comparison, Song Yu¡¯s parents were a bit more relaxed. Song Jin was more satisfied knowing Song Yu already planned out his future than if Song Yu had merely chosen one of the options he¡¯d previously given him.


    Lin Rong had never placed too much importance on grades and their future prospects for her children¡¯s education; she knew Song Yu was a mature child and the best way to show her love for him was to give him respect.


    It was only Yue Zhishi who couldn¡¯t understand, so he sat on the sofa in a daze, hand caressing Orange¡¯s fur stroke after stroke. Orange was particularly obedient today and didn¡¯t run away from his arms.


    Of course, a bubbling happiness slowly grew within his inability to understand, because this meant the distance of their separation immediately shortened from the other side of the ocean to a range he could accept.


    He didn¡¯t come to his senses until Song Yu stood in front of him.


    ¡°Come out with me for a bit.¡± Song Yu threw over a coat and walked by himself to the entrance of the house.


    It was late spring, and the warmth of its nights were always a very tricky matter. Yue Zhishi wore the coat Song Yu gave him, and it felt like his flu medicine finally started to kick in and helped him feel less uncomfortable. Their bicycles weaved through the late night, the wind softly rising and wrapping around their bodies as if they were swimming in warm water. The light of the street lamps rippled as they rode past.


    They passed a decently sized park centred around a lake with many people taking a walk in the darkness. Song Yu parked his bike in front of a brightly lit convenience store and went inside to buy some things, Yue Zhishi very docilely standing outside and waiting for him, just like when he was younger.


    Younger Yue Zhishi was very much a glutton. He hadn¡¯t been able able to move every time he entered a convenience store, busily wanting to buy everything he saw, but the majority of the food inside were things he couldn¡¯t eat. He¡¯d cry if he wasn¡¯t allowed to buy what he wanted, and this made things very difficult for everyone.


    Song Yu had later thought of a plan ¡ª he¡¯d ordered Yue Zhishi to stand in one particular spot in front of the convenience store¡¯s ceiling to floor windows, and he hadn¡¯t been allowed to move. Song Yu would then enter the store and buy what he needed at the quickest possible speed, and he¡¯d constantly look back to check on Yue Zhishi. If Yue Zhishi was obedient, Song Yu would then reward him with an ice cream.


    It was the same this time as well, but because his childhood had long gone by, Yue Zhishi was no longer the child who needed to be supervised. This kind of unwritten rule hadn¡¯t been used for a very long time, so Yue Zhishi found it a bit strange when Song Yu gave him an ice cream cone.


    The ice cream still carried the frigid air of the freezer, and Song Yu¡¯s fingertips were also cool to the touch.


    ¡°Congratulations.¡± Song Yu led him to a nearby bench and sat down. ¡°Your reward for improving your midterm grades.¡±


    Even though his tone didn¡¯t really sound all that congratulatory and the reward was just an ice cream cone, Yue Zhishi was very obviously happy. He lowered his head and ripped open the packaging, realising he¡¯d never tried this flavour before.


    The packaging said the cone was white peach oolong tea flavoured.


    ¡°You can have only one bite.¡± Song Yu once again started to sound a bit merciless. ¡°You can¡¯t eat too much ice cream when you¡¯re sick.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t really pay attention to what he said. He noticed this ice cream cone was slightly different from others ¡ª it didn¡¯t have the fancy swirls of chocolate and hazelnut pieces at the top, only a layer of white, translucent jelly. His first reaction after he pulled open the packaging was disappointment, and when he took a bite, he found it a bit sour.


    It was a layer of peach-flavoured jelly.


    His brain only then processed what Song Yu said. ¡°Only one bite?¡± He looked at Song Yu and squeezed his eyebrows together. ¡°But this top layer¡¯s not nice at all. I still haven¡¯t gotten to the ice cream, so it¡¯s like I didn¡¯t even get to eat it. Besides, no one¡¯s flu will get worse just because they ate an ice cream.¡±


    Only when it came to food would Yue Zhishi be particularly logical and eager to debate.


    Song Yu eventually relented. He leaned back on the bench and gazed at the lake not too far away.


    There was a hazy layer of mist floating above the lake. One couple stood underneath a street lamp, kissing, and he looked again at Yue Zhishi. He was truly absorbed into eating his ice cream cone, peeking into it every time he took a bite to see what was inside.


    Yue Zhishi found the layer of jelly quite ordinary, so he tentatively tried the light pink layer of ice cream.


    It was surprisingly very delicious.


    He flipped his face over to Song Yu, eyes bright. ¡°It tastes like milk tea.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Song Yu glanced back at him, looking a bit distracted.


    ¡°This ice cream cone is milk tea flavoured, like an oolong macchiato.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice was very excited. ¡°Do you want to try?¡± He lifted the cone and merely moved it over closer to Song Yu, unlike how he used to directly stuff the food he wanted Song Yu to try into his mouth.


    But after he moved it closer, Yue Zhishi remembered Song Yu didn¡¯t like to eat sweet things, so he  paused and started to retract his hand back, curbing his desire to share his things with Song Yu.


    The moment Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand began to retreat, Song Yu grabbed his wrist and pulled, holding it in place so he could take a bite.


    Nearby, a mischievous child threw a stone into the lake. The couple joined together under the street lamp slowly pulled apart, and the moonlight shining onto the heart of the lake was startled enough to diffuse and spread into thousands of glittering fragments.


    Yue Zhishi took back his hand, his wrist flushed.


    Song Yu was silent for a few seconds, and then he gave an assessment. ¡°Not bad.¡±


    The two of them quietly sat there, Yue Zhishi continuing to eat. Eating the ice cream cone took a lot of effort as he needed to break off the cone shell and leave it to the side as he consumed the ice cream, but he was still very satisfied at the end. He said, falling back on the bench, ¡°I feel like I¡¯ve recovered by fifty percent.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t make fun of his childish way of thinking. He took out a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it over. Yue Zhishi was a bit stunned when he took the slightly wrinkled paper ¡ª he carefully looked over it under the light, and realised it was the action plan he previously created for studying overseas.


    ¡°How did you get this?¡± In his agitation, Yue Zhishi almost stuffed the paper into his mouth. He wanted to crumple the paper into a ball again and swallow it to destroy the evidence just like a television drama.


    ¡°I¡¯ve pretty much memorised it all.¡± Song Yu straightforwardly smashed his fantasy into pieces. ¡°I went to your room to look for the book you took from me. You weren¡¯t there, and the desk was all messy, so I accidentally saw this balled up piece of paper as I was searching.¡±


    ¡°Accidentally?¡± Yue Zhishi frankly questioned Song Yu¡¯s wording.


    ¡°Yes.¡± Song Yu¡¯s face didn¡¯t flicker at all, and he even gave him a suggestion. ¡°Besides, if you happen to have a secret you don¡¯t want others to discover, you should destroy it immediately.¡±


    He successfully convinced Yue Zhishi.


    That¡¯s true. He indeed should¡¯ve torn this abandoned action plan of his into pieces straight away.


    ¡°Why did you give up?¡±


    ¡°Why aren¡¯t you going overseas?¡±


    The two of them spoke at the same time, voices overlapping.


    Song Yu no longer spoke. Both of them waited for a moment, and then Yue Zhishi opened his mouth first. ¡°I initially¡­¡±


    He thought for a little bit and then very candidly said, ¡°I didn¡¯t want to separate from you if you were going to leave the country. That¡¯s why I wanted to go too.¡±


    Hearing these words, Song Yu¡¯s hand clenched on the edge of the bench. A bird flew past the lake, and its wings skimmed across the surface of the water, leaving behind traces of its journey.


    Yue Zhishi dropped his eyes and continued, ¡°But I don¡¯t have any money. The allowance I normally get isn¡¯t even enough to pay for the English test¡¯s registration fee. That¡¯s why I made a plan to study and work part time.¡±


    ¡°But I later realised I might not be able to save that much money, and I didn¡¯t want to use uncle or aunt¡¯s money. Besides¡­¡± He thought about what happened that day at the hospital, paused and changed the excuse he was about to say. ¡°Aunt Rong might not want to me go either. If I left, she¡¯d be the only one left at home and would definitely be very sad.¡±


    The dates on the action plan started on the night Song Yu spoke with his father. The daily schedule included one action to implement every day, and all of them had a little tick mark next to them. The last tick stopped on the day they went to the hospital.


    It was also the night Song Yu witnessed Yue Zhishi hiding behind the corner of the fridge and the countertop, mutely eating his cinnamon roll.


    ¡°So you decided to give up going overseas and focus on your studies for the high school entrance exam?¡±


    Yue Zhishi discovered Song Yu sounded a bit strange, almost as if he was asking a rhetorical question. But his question was a bit more difficult than a normal rhetorical question ¡ª he sounded almost as if he was slightly angry.


    ¡°You¡¯re not happy about it?¡± Yue Zhishi asked.


    Song Yu pressed his lips together. Yue Zhishi¡¯s large and pure pair of eyes was staring at him. ¡°What is there for me to be unhappy about?¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± Maybe Yue Zhishi thought wrongly. But he temporarily didn¡¯t want to give a proper answer to Song Yu¡¯s question because he didn¡¯t want to tell him he was afraid of being away from Song Yu and was trying to get used to that separation ahead of time ¡ª it felt like he would sound a bit stupid if he said it out loud.


    So he nodded. ¡°I originally needed to work hard at my studies anyway. I¡¯m number three in my year now.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t continue asking.


    Yue Zhishi repeated his earlier question. ¡°Song Yu gege, how come you¡¯re not going overseas anymore?¡± He thought of how Song Yu had picked up his thrown away action plan and lifted it into the air. ¡°It couldn¡¯t be related to this, right?¡±


    After saying he didn¡¯t want to separate from Song Yu, it felt a bit like he wanted to keep him here with him. So he then said, ¡°I know I said I wanted to go overseas with you, but it doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯ll stop you from going just because I can¡¯t go.¡±


    His words came out with a touch too much self-confidence, but Yue Zhishi had always been a child like this: the care and love he¡¯d received since childhood made him into someone who could openly and honestly express his feelings.


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t entirely because you gave up,¡± Song Yu replied, avoiding the actual question.


    Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t actually all that disappointed. If Song Yu had said he¡¯d given up because of him, then Yue Zhishi would¡¯ve thought something was wrong with him.


    ¡°I actually didn¡¯t know if I wanted to go overseas or not. It was just an option I was given.¡± Song Yu looked ahead at the lake. ¡°I previously didn¡¯t know what I wanted to do in the future. I took a very long time to think about it recently, and I only just now decided.¡±


    He pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper and also handed it to Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°What¡¯s this?¡±


    Song Yu glanced at him. ¡°Do you remember what I told you last time about the gift your dad gave me? You said he¡¯d never given you one.¡±


    ¡°Is this the map he drew himself?¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes glowed.


    Song Yu sounded a bit helpless. ¡°I drew this. It¡¯s a topographic map of the first place we visited together on a tour, Jiuzhai Valley.¡±


    Yue Zhishi drew the map slightly closer. ¡°This is so amazing. I still remember the photo we took together, everything was so beautiful there.¡±


    Song Yu hummed in response and continued, ¡°I¡¯m going to stay and take the college entrance exams so I can enter the major I want to study.¡± He lifted his head to look at the sky and unexpectedly saw a few spectacularly twinkling stars.


    Yue Zhishi very much enjoyed how he felt right now. The words Song Yu didn¡¯t finish saying at the dinner table ¡ª to have Song Yu willingly say them to him, Yue Zhishi felt particularly satisfied.


    ¡°Song Yu gege, can you give me this map?¡±


    Song Yu gazed at the lake. ¡°Why do you want it for? It¡¯s not like your dad drew it.¡±


    He was just joking and didn¡¯t expect Yue Zhishi to grab his arm and say, very earnestly and directly, ¡°But I want the one you drew.¡±


    Actually, Yue Zhishi was nervous at asking. He did think there was a large possibility Song Yu wouldn¡¯t actually give the map to him since it was the first time he¡¯d ever drawn a topographic map ¡ª and since it was a map of the first place he¡¯d ever gone to on a holiday, it held even more sentimental value.


    He didn¡¯t expect Song Yu to look at him and very casually say, sure.


    ¡°Really?¡± Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t control his excitement and scooted closer until they were almost touching. ¡°Are there any conditions?¡±


    How could there be someone rushing to ask for conditions.


    ¡°You just reminded me.¡± The corner of Song Yu¡¯s mouth hooked up in light amusement. ¡°You can give me your drawing in exchange.¡±


    What good luck is this ¡ª Yue Zhishi agreed without any hesitation. ¡°No problem, you can choose anything you want! I¡­¡±


    Wait a second.


    Seeing him abruptly stop speaking, Song Yu deliberately asked him if there was anything wrong.


    Yue Zhishi blinked. ¡°Which drawing are you talking about?¡± Since he¡¯d already seen the action plan, did that mean the drawing on the desk¡­


    Song Yu was calmer than ever. ¡°It¡¯s probably the drawing you¡¯re also thinking about.¡±


    No way. Yue Zhishi shot up in a panic, his body posture making him Song Yu think he was going to jump in the lake.


    The light from the convenience store shone onto his body and caught on his red ears.


    He¡¯d secretly watched on as Song Yu fed the stray cats and had even drawn a picture about it ¡ª didn¡¯t that make him one of those perverts in television dramas?


    Song Yu wanted to tease him again, so he raised his head and asked, ¡°You don¡¯t want to give it away that much?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Yue Zhishi rushed to explain. ¡°I only saw you by accident.¡± And then accidentally drawn a picture. This reasoning would be too laughable if he said it out loud and didn¡¯t even answer Song Yu¡¯s question, so he didn¡¯t say it. He also didn¡¯t know why his whole head felt warm and said, inserting his foot into his mouth, ¡°This isn¡¯t even the first time I drew you. I used to have a bunch of small comic figures of you, but you never wanted them.¡±


    ¡°When did I not want them?¡± Song Yu said, looking at him. ¡°Compared to you, always sneaking about.¡±


    Yue Zhishi retorted, ¡°I saw you outside right in the open.¡± He then added, ¡°Not only did I see you, I¡¯m going to go back and tell Orange you have cats other than him. A large group of them.¡±


    Song Yu froze for a second, and then broke into laughter, the likes of which Yue Zhishi had not seen for a very long time.


    Seeing him like that, it felt like the tension Yue Zhishi had been holding in the last few days finally disappeared. Except he faintly felt he hadn¡¯t been like himself lately with all his worries of what he might gain and what he might lose ¡ª they circled around and around, randomly making him either upset or happy for no reason at all. He was able to carelessly and honestly say he didn¡¯t want to be away from Song Yu, but he had no way to naturally explain the drawing he¡¯d created in the middle of the night.


    Yue Zhishi was a bit embarrassed since Song Yu was still laughing. He told him to stop laughing and even grabbed his arm, wanting to pull him up.


    But Song Yu clasped his arm in return, the laughter on his face greatly disappearing as he calmed down.


    ¡°Give it to me. I really like it,¡± he seriously said.


    The author has something to say:


    Le Le: I think I¡¯ve grown up (1¡¢¡¢) Everyone, please give me more water~


    Cornetto, I really like your peach oolong ice cream cone, but please release a version without the peach jelly. I hope you know what¡¯s good for you (doge)

 CH 30

    Chapter 30: A Heavy Metaphor


    Only after he gave away his drawing did Yue Zhishi feel like it was drawn extremely terribly. He slightly regretted giving it away and wanted to take it back, but it was obvious how asking for it back would go.


    Song Yu would never give him a chance to fix up his work.


    But Song Yu¡¯s map was honestly well-drawn ¡ª it was beautiful in a very clean, scientific way, and Yue Zhishi actually wanted to frame and hang it at the head of his bed.


    After such a long period of stress, he finally fell into a deep sleep. In his dream, he was feeding little kittens with Song Yu when he heard a familiar cat noise behind his back. Yue Zhishi turned around, and an indignant Orange was standing behind him, catching him red-handed.


    Meow¡ª¡ª


    What a nightmare.


    It wasn¡¯t easy surviving until the monthly break, and yet they were given only one day to rest. Yue Zhishi was woken up bright and early by Orange stepping on him, and Lin Rong just happened to be calling him down for breakfast. He blearily carried Orange downstairs with him and saw Song Yu changing his shoes at the front door. Yue Zhishi¡¯s mind cleared up immediately and went over in his house slippers. ¡°Gege, you¡¯re leaving the house so early?¡±


    Song Yu nodded as he tied his shoelaces. ¡°Yes, I have something to do.¡±


    ¡°Can I go with you?¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t really answer him, only saying, ¡°You should stay at home and do your reviews.¡±


    Yue Zhishi understood Song Yu¡¯s way of speaking too well. If he didn¡¯t say he couldn¡¯t go, then that meant he could, as long as he tried hard enough. ¡°I want to go, can you bring me too? My productiveness will be much higher after we come back, truly.¡±


    Yue Zhishi sounded a bit pitiful. Song Yu raised his head and met his eyes for a while. Yue Zhishi sorrowfully opened his mouth again and said, ¡°Gege, please. I already gave my drawing to you.¡±


    Song Yu gave up.


    ¡°I¡¯ll give you ten minutes to change your clothes.¡±


    ¡°No problem!¡±


    As he waited, Song Yu sat at the front door and played on his phone. He saw Xia Zhixu¡¯s WeChat message and replied while he was there.


    It was early morning, the temperature just right and the air fresh. Yue Zhishi was in an extremely good mood at not having to go to school and being able to go out together with Song Yu. He sat on the bench as they waited for the bus, and Song Yu pulled out a pink lollipop from his pocket and gave it to him.


    ¡°You put this in my bag, right? It¡¯s too sweet. Eat it yourself.¡±


    It¡¯d been so long since he¡¯d snuck the candy into his bag, and yet Song Yu still hadn¡¯t eaten it yet.


    But it made sense since Song Yu hated sweets.


    Yue Zhishi took the lollipop and tore open the wrapper without really thinking about it. He¡¯d just placed the lollipop into his mouth when the bus arrived, so he immediately stood up and got onto the bus with Song Yu. The bus drove extremely quickly, and Yue Zhishi fell asleep also extremely quickly, swaying and wobbling about until he ended up on Song Yu¡¯s shoulder. He stayed there until he was woken up to get off the car.


    Standing at the bus stop, Yue Zhishi reached up his arms and lazily stretched. The bus drove away, and a tall, beautiful girl across the street waved at them. Yue Zhishi slowly pulled down his arms, glancing at the Song Yu standing next to him, and saw him nod in her direction.


    What is this?


    It was hard enough to have a break. They left the house early in the morning only just to come and meet a pretty older sister. Yue Zhishi felt like something wasn¡¯t quite right ¡ª this really didn¡¯t fit Song Yu¡¯s usual behaviour.


    The pedestrian lights turned green, and Song Yu walked across the street. Yue Zhishi abruptly felt grumpy and stuffed his hands into his pockets, the lollipop still in his mouth as he followed behind.


    Gege had never interacted with a girl in private before.


    The girl appeared very friendly and looked to be a bit older than the two of them. She warmly greeted Song Yu, ¡°Have you had breakfast yet? What a coincidence, I only just arrived when I saw you too.¡± She glanced at Yue Zhishi after she finished speaking and looked back at Song Yu. ¡°This must be your younger brother.¡±


    Song Yu nodded. Seeing he was mentioned, Yue Zhishi politely greet her as well and introduced himself.


    ¡°Hello hello, I¡¯m Feng Yue.¡± She checked her watch. ¡°The car should be here soon.¡±


    Are they going somewhere? Yue Zhishi specifically looked over her outfit. She was wearing very comfortable casual clothing, long sleeves, long pants and flat sneakers.


    Could they be going to somewhere like Happy Valley? Or maybe going on an outdoors trip somewhere?


    He thought about how Song Yu had initially not wanted to bring him along.


    Feng Yue¡¯s phone suddenly rang, and she apologised before stepping away. ¡°Yes, right now we¡¯re at¡­¡±


    Since she was far away, Yue Zhishi touched Song Yu¡¯s arm and stood very closely to him. He waited until Song Yu leaned his head over, and abruptly asked, ¡°Are you going on a date with her?¡±


    Only Yue Zhishi would ask something like that so directly.


    But the moment the words left his mouth, even Yue Zhishi felt it was a bit strange to ask. His mood didn¡¯t improve at all.


    Song Yu lifted an eyebrow. ¡°Why would I take you with me to a date?¡±


    That one sentence knocked Yue Zhishi awake.


    That¡¯s right.


    Since Song Yu didn¡¯t refuse to let him come along, he shouldn¡¯t be going on a date with a girl. Besides, who would bring such a big lightbulb onto a date, especially one who could easily go home and tattle on him to their parents?


    If Song Yu really was going on a date, Yue Zhishi might actually tell on him. He truly was slightly unhappy.


    He was just about to ask Song Yu what was the real purpose behind this trip, but Feng Yue happened to finish her phone call and return back to where they were. The car she mentioned earlier arrived in the next thirty seconds. It was a very large white car with a lot of empty space inside.


    They got on the car together, and there were already two other young men sitting inside. The road was very smooth, and Yue Zhishi was very curious about where they were going ¡ª unexpectedly, the road became more familiar the longer they drove, until the car finally stopped at Peiya¡¯s side entrance.


    Why¡¯d they come to school?


    There were a bit too many people around, so Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t really speak. Song Yu exited the car and walked by himself to the security guard, providing him with his student identification and approval letter from the school before the security guard let them through.


    After he returned, the car went straight into the school, driving on the road through the side entrance until it reached the cafeteria. It continued past until it stopped nearby the old school buildings near the back of the cafeteria.


    ¡°Time to start working.¡± The young man wearing a cap got off the car first and rolled up his sleeves.


    Yue Zhishi was a bit stunned. He thought about a video he¡¯d once seen online, where people caught and killed stray animals. He grabbed Song Yu¡¯s arm without thinking. ¡°What are they doing? Are they going to kill all those cats?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Song Yu lightly patted the back of his hand. He then said to the other people, ¡°I¡¯ve already had the cats neutered.¡±


    Feng Yue, pulling on some gloves, was surprised. ¡°Did you pay for it yourself? It couldn¡¯t have been cheap. You must¡¯ve also spent a lot of time as well, since there¡¯s no way you could¡¯ve neutered all of them at the same time.¡±


    One of the men also said, ¡°Honestly, it¡¯s enough if you¡¯ve already neutered them all.¡±


    Song Yu shook his head and pulled out a key he¡¯d borrowed from the school¡¯s management to open the iron fence. ¡°I¡¯m graduating soon.¡±


    Yue Zhishi understood the words he¡¯d left unspoken.


    ¡°I see. That¡¯s fine then, just leave it to us. You don¡¯t have to worry anymore.¡± Feng Yue nodded and started to work with everyone else. ¡°Hopefully today will go smoothly.¡±


    ¡°Are you trapping them?¡± Yue Zhishi started to follow them. ¡°Let me help you.¡±


    Song Yu seized his wrist. ¡°Don¡¯t follow us.¡±


    Obviously, Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t listen to him. ¡°I¡¯m really good with animals.¡± He then said a bunch of other reasons, and since Song Yu didn¡¯t want to outright reject Yue Zhishi in front of so many outsiders ¡ª it would¡¯ve depressed him ¡ª he reluctantly allowed him to come along. He found a pair of gloves for Yue Zhishi and told him to put it on well.


    Catching cats required a lot of effort and time. Luckily Song Yu was there, as the cats were familiar with him and were a bit easier to catch than usual.


    But they never expected Yue Zhishi¡¯s words to actually be so accurate ¡ª animals were naturally attracted to him. It wasn¡¯t clear if it was because they were curious, but some cats subconsciously walked closer to him. The other workers could then very quickly pick them up from behind.


    Yue Zhishi was like living catnip, a fantastic way to lure in the cats.


    But as soon as he wanted to reach down and either touch or catch a cat, Song Yu would stop him.


    After working for almost two hours, they finally managed to transfer all the stray cats in the area into cages, placing them one by one into the car. Some of the worried cats kept meowing, and they didn¡¯t calm down until Song Yu fed them their usual food.


    One kitten was particularly small and stayed in a large cage with his mother. Yue Zhishi kneeled down to look at him, and the kitten weakly gazed back.


    ¡°I counted eight in total, just like you described.¡± Feng Yue gave Song Yu a document. ¡°Once you sign here, we¡¯ll take them back and clean them up.¡±


    Yue Zhishi listened to them speak, and only then learned that Feng Yue worked in the local area¡¯s largest stray animal rescue shelter and specialised in bringing back stray animals to prepare them for adoption. Song Yu had requested them to make this particular trip.


    ¡°Good thing you were here. I think this might¡¯ve been the easiest trap job in history ¡ª we used to be scratched all over our bodies in previous jobs until we mentally collapsed.¡± Feng Yue looked over at the cats in the cages and smiled towards Song Yu. ¡°They listen to you quite well. Looks like you¡¯ve spent a lot of time with them.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t do anything.¡± Song Yu glanced at the cats and, after a silent moment, brought out a little notebook the size of his palm. ¡°This notebook has all of their personalities and habits. Maybe it¡¯ll help you guys in the future.¡±


    The rescue shelter¡¯s workers once again expressed their gratitude and even wanted to give him a rescue certificate, but Song Yu kept denying he¡¯d done anything to help. He even declined their offer to drop them back home on their way back, and he stood at Peiya¡¯s side entrance with Yue Zhishi and sent off their car.


    As he watched those cats disappear into the distance, Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but observe the side of Song Yu¡¯s face.


    Sure enough, he was someone who was unable to show his emotions.


    He may¡¯ve kept saying he did nothing at all, but it was likely he¡¯d started taking care of the cats from his first year of high school.


    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t you miss them?¡± Yue Zhishi asked.


    Song Yu lowered his head and booked a car on his phone. ¡°There¡¯s nothing to miss. This is the best choice.¡±


    The car he¡¯d booked stopped right in front of them, and the two of them got on, Yue Zhishi vividly describing to Song Yu the dream he¡¯d had last night of them feeding cats together. He didn¡¯t mention the end though, where they¡¯d been caught by Orange, and then complained, ¡°I didn¡¯t get to feed them even once. I didn¡¯t expect last night¡¯s dream would be a sign of what would happen.¡±


    ¡°Simply feeding stray cats is actually nothing more than unchecked kindness.¡± Song Yu¡¯s words were a bit harsh, and yet they were very realistic. ¡°If you only feed them and leave them alone to continue roaming around, you might end up damaging the surrounding ecology. To these cats, from the day they¡¯re born until the day they die, how many times can you actually feed them?¡±


    He looked out the window after he finished speaking. ¡°It would be better if they were given a chance to have a home.¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought about what Song Yu had once said ¡ª people must be responsible for their own actions, even if those actions had come from kindness.


    He started to understand why Song Yu would do these things silently, without notifying anyone else. Once other people learned about the cats, the news might spread ¡ª and since Song Yu had a lot of people chasing after him to begin with, the situation would then be even harder to control.


    Yue Zhishi knew he often didn¡¯t consider things carefully or deeply enough, but more than anyone else, he hoped Song Yu¡¯s wish would come true.


    ¡°Those little kittens could definitely be adopted by some good people,¡± he said, smiling. He then very naively, very heartlessly added, ¡°Just like me. I can give to them all of my experience and good luck.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t like hearing him say those kinds of words, and even felt a bit unhappy.


    He flicked a dissatisfied look at Yue Zhishi before he frowned and looked ahead again. He said, a bit coolly, ¡°Your experience is useless as a reference, and you don¡¯t really have any luck at all.¡±


    ¡°Who decided that?¡± Yue Zhishi was very discontented. He thought he¡¯d been very lucky.


    Song Yu continued, ¡°Just because they¡¯re at the shelter doesn¡¯t mean they¡¯ll definitely be adopted. And even if they¡¯re chosen, it doesn¡¯t mean they¡¯ll be adopted by a responsible family. This could always be an endless, random wait, truly dependent on luck.¡±


    His words initially sounded very hurtful, but Song Yu¡¯s tone changed. ¡°You¡¯re not like them.¡± Then, with a very calm expression on his face, he said something highly absurd. ¡°You suddenly fell from the sky.¡±


    Yue Zhishi frowned. ¡°Am I a pie?¡±


    Song Yu turned his face over and met his eyes. Yue Zhishi saw a glowing spot of light in his dark pupils, as well as his own face.


    ¡°Even apples could fall and hit someone.¡±


    Song Yu used a cryptic, old metaphor, and even attempted to use a well-known scientist¡¯s story to hide his own ulterior feelings.


    ¡°Oh,¡± Yue Zhishi merely said, his mind only thinking about Newton¡¯s large curly wig in his portrait. He didn¡¯t consider Song Yu¡¯s words further.


    But no matter what Song Yu said, Yue Zhishi secretly decided to transfer his own good luck over those stray cats, hoping each of them would have a safe and peaceful future.


    Once they arrived home, Lin Rong asked them where they¡¯d gone. Song Yu said the bookstore, and Yue Zhishi naturally acted along. Except when he¡¯d left the house, he¡¯d worn black clothing, and now they were very obviously covered by cat hair.


    ¡°I¡¯m really warm, I¡¯m going to shower,¡± Yue Zhishi said and ran upstairs.


    Lin Rong pulled out the stuff she¡¯d bought for her son, showing off the completely full climbing backpack she¡¯d prepared for him. It was stuffed until bursting, and someone might¡¯ve thought she was participating in a competition to see who could store more items into one bag.


    ¡°Look, all of these things are all very useful. Ah yes, and this pack of medicine. You have to bring this too.¡±


    ¡°So much stuff. Am I leaving to establish new territory?¡±


    ¡°Xiao Yu! How can you make fun of the great maternal love?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Yue Zhishi went back to his room. He felt inside his pockets when he changed out of his clothes, and pulled out a wrinkled lollipop wrapper. It was from the lollipop Song Yu gave him earlier that morning.


    Before he threw it away, Yue Zhishi casually flipped over for a look and frowned, accidentally discovering something.


    ¡°Strawberry milk?¡±


    Weird.


    The one he¡¯d bought was clearly raspberry flavoured.


    The author has something to say:


    ¡®You¡¯re the apple of my eye.¡¯


    This sentence can be traced back to the Old English period. It really is old, Shakespeare used it often. But it feels romantic in a very classical sense (at least I think so hhh)


    I¡¯m not alluding to Adam and Eve hhh (and besides, the Bible actually never said what the forbidden fruit was, later generations mistakenly turned it into apples)


    I think everyone is reading too closely into the quote as love talk. It actually isn¡¯t, Song Yu just didn¡¯t want Le Le to see himself as a stray cat adopted by someone. He¡¯s very very precious to the entire family, so that¡¯s why he said it (of course, if you want to read it as spoken out of romantic love, you can! Since it¡¯ll be hard if this pair doesn¡¯t end up married in the future!)

 CH 31

    Chapter 31: Suspected Online Relationship


    The red line of entrance examinations was just ahead, and no matter whether it was junior high year three or high school year three, the students spent their days living as virtuously as monks. Because Song Yu was in the building across from him, Yue Zhishi would study in the fifth floor¡¯s self study room every night, waiting for Song Yu to finish his night study session before they left for home together.


    ¡°You¡¯re going to Beijing for training?¡± His bike twisted as it traveled along, and Yue Zhishi immediately steadied it with his hands. ¡°When?¡±


    ¡°The day after tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°So soon?! You¡¯re going in two days?¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡±


    ¡°Then¡­ how long does the Mathematical Olympiad training camp go for?¡± Yue Zhishi tried to cover up his dropping mood as much as possible.


    ¡°One month.¡± Song Yu finished speaking and opened his mouth again. Yue Zhishi thought he wanted to say something, but there was nothing else even after they arrived home.


    The morning all the students going to the camp gathered together in front of the school for the large bus to Beijing, Yue Zhishi was in English class and wasn¡¯t able to send Song Yu off. After the class ended, he lay against the window frame and looked out for a very long time, the school entrance completely empty with nothing to see.


    The Mathematics Olympiad team chose very few people to take in ¡ª Peiya only had two students, and one of them was Song Yu.


    Jiang Yufan headed over to him, knocking his shoulder. ¡°Hey, I heard your brother was chosen for the Mathematics Olympiad training team. They all say you¡¯re pretty much guaranteed to get into Tsinghua University if you get chosen. Is that true?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t know.¡± Yue Zhishi wearily replied, remaining on the window frame.


    One month isn¡¯t too long.


    He silently tried to convince himself.


    The coach bus was provided by the Bureau of Education, and it started its trip from Peiya, stopping on its way at Jingjian High School where two more people got on the bus. Song Yu was leaning against a window, earphones on and eyes closed in rest, when someone suddenly patted his shoulder. He opened his eyes.


    ¡°Yo!¡±


    The smile and tiger teeth were super dazzling.


    Song Yu took off one of his earphones and lifted his head to meet Xia Zhixu¡¯s eyes, crooking the corner of his mouth without saying anything. Xia Zhixu placed his luggage to one side and sat in the empty seat next to him, flinging open his arms and shaking his legs. ¡°I¡¯m so tired. I should¡¯ve eaten more earlier.¡±


    ¡°Who told you to bring so much stuff.¡±


    ¡°Who else but my mom.¡±


    Sure enough, all mothers in the world were the same.


    ¡°I hear the camp¡¯s super strict with its rules. Bet we¡¯ll be bored as hell.¡± Xia Zhixu looked over at Song Yu and sighed. ¡°Good thing you¡¯re here, at least I won¡¯t be too lonely this month.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s fingers toyed with a wireless earphone. ¡°It¡¯s useless even with me here.¡±


    Xia Zhixu felt guilty at the implication in his words. ¡°I have no idea what you¡¯re talking about.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± Song Yu lifted an eyebrow.


    ¡°What are you oh-ing about? You¡¯re such a strange guy.¡±


    The life of a Mathematics Olympiad trainee was much more difficult compared to high school year three. The quantity of questions and sheer intensity of the training were several times higher than their usual lives. Students improved much faster under high intensity and high pressure, but the consumption of energy was also much higher.


    Yue Zhishi always sent messages to Song Yu every night at 10pm. The nature of his messages were very different compared to other people¡¯s, however ¡ª for example, Song Yu¡¯s mom would consistently send questioning messages such as what did you eat tonight? or did you sleep well? tired? and then wait for Song Yu to reply.


    But Yue Zhishi differed in that his messages were always about himself and never required a response. Sometimes he would send a photo of a fish-shaped cloud he¡¯d seen on his way to school, or a photo of a highly scored test with a halo effect drawn around the score, or even a photo of some random brand¡¯s new soda flavour he¡¯d just tried.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t reply for the first three days. The training team¡¯s adviser was very strict when they¡¯d first arrived, forbidding them to carry their phones with them. The phones could only be left in their dormitory rooms. Song Yu would see the messages only after a very long time had passed, and even though he wanted to reply, he suddenly felt embarrassed about being so late.


    But on the fourth day, he responded.


    That night, he was tired enough to collapse, having just returned to the dorm at 11:30pm. He lay on his side in bed and opened his phone ¡ª he hadn¡¯t yet received Yue Zhishi¡¯s daily updates when he accidentally fell asleep holding his phone. His phone vibrated and woke him up after an unknown amount of time, and he peeled open his eyes, frowning.


    [Yue Zhishi: sent a photo]


    His sight was still blurry from sleep, and the little photo icon was blindingly white. He sleepily pressed on the photo to open it, only to discover it was Yue Zhishi¡¯s arm with a very small rash.


    Song Yu was immediately awake.


    [Xiao Yu gege: What happened to you?]


    Yue Zhishi pretty much responded right away with a voice message. ¡°Jiang Yufan bought the new oden from the school¡¯s supermarket today. I only ate a few fishballs, but those cheap manufacturers actually mixed in a lot of wheat flour.¡± He sounded slightly indignant.


    Yue Zhishi very quickly sent over a second voice message, his voice very weak. ¡°I didn¡¯t do it on purpose, the fishballs were so white and looked really yummy. I thought they would be like the fishballs we have at home and be made out of only fish paste.¡±


    Xia Zhixu returned back to their room after finishing his phone call and was very surprised to see Song Yu sitting up and furiously tapping away on his phone in bed, completely unlike his usual behaviour.


    This guy usually conserved his energy as much as he could ¡ª he only knew how to work and sleep, just like a robot.


    But there would be times Song Yu would be quite strange. He usually ate his meals in the training camp¡¯s cafeteria with his head lowered without saying a single thing, but he unexpectedly raised his head and watched a few minutes of the One Piece episode playing on the cafeteria¡¯s big screen yesterday.


    It was very interesting ¡ª seems like a hot blooded shounen anime fan rested inside the ice mountain¡¯s inner heart.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t notice his temporary roommate had come back as he quickly typed his reply and sent it out.


    [Xiao Yu gege: I¡¯ve said this so many times ¡ª you need to avoid eating outside things as much as you can, it¡¯s so hard to avoid such a common allergen like wheat. You¡¯re already this old, and you still don¡¯t understand this?]


    [Yue Zhishi: I do]


    He sent over a sticker of a little puppy crying.


    Xia Zhixu carelessly rubbed his hair a few times and went to sit on his own bed across from Song Yu. He ridiculed, ¡°I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re still chatting. It¡¯s amazing, I thought you¡¯d secluded yourself in cultivation. I didn¡¯t think you had a friend who could get you to sit up and chat.¡±


    He particularly emphasised the words ¡®sit up¡¯.


    Song Yu¡¯s eyes left his phone screen and without even looking at Xia Zhixu, he said, unwilling to be outdone, ¡°I can¡¯t compare to you. One phone call takes one whole hour, and you even report everything you ate for dinner every day. What, you dating?¡±


    Xia Zhixu had just taken a sip out of his cup of water and almost spat it back out.


    This guy¡¯s really aggressive¡­


    ¡°Who, who¡¯s dating! How can I be dating?¡±


    ¡°What are you so guilty about.¡±


    His phone vibrated once again, so Song Yu lowered his head and unlocked it.


    [Yue Zhishi: Song Yu gege, I miss you]


    ¡°You¡¯re the guilty one. I can tell these things.¡± Xia Zhixu turned off his beside lamp and lay down. ¡°Gonna sleep.¡±


    But just as he said this, he noticed Song Yu staring at his phone screen in a daze in the darkness, a subtle change on his face.


    Xia Zhixu actually started to doubt if his eyes were working correctly.


    He wrapped himself in his blanket and stared at Song Yu. ¡°Hey, what are you smiling about? How creepy.¡±


    Compared to getting a reply, the screen turned off by itself faster, and the last remaining source of light in the room vanished in a flash.


    ¡°No such thing,¡± Song Yu denied.


    ¡°No way, I just saw your eyes smile ¡ª what a miracle!¡±


    ¡°You talk too much.¡±


    ¡°I speak a normal amount. Ah, I know, you were just projecting, you¡¯re the one actually dating, right?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Song Yu very decisively said.


    Xia Zhixu felt something wasn¡¯t quite right, but he also felt continuing to question him would drag himself into the conversation. He rolled over and blinked at the dark ceiling. ¡°That¡¯s fine then, neither am I.¡±


    In the midst of the darkness, he once again heard Song Yu¡¯s voice.


    ¡°Xia Zhixu.¡±


    ¡°Hm?¡±


    ¡°Has no one told you sometimes you¡¯re too stupid to be a top student?¡±


    Xia Zhixu: ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    From that day on, Yue Zhishi would receive Song Yu¡¯s replies every day, so he would stay up and wait no matter how late it was. He didn¡¯t even turn on his phone¡¯s do not disturb mode when he went to sleep, in fear of missing even one message.


    Yue Zhishi used to be afraid of being startled awake by his phone while he slept, but now, as long as it vibrated even once, no matter how sleepily confused he was, he would immediately wake up and check his phone.


    It was just that sometimes it would be an empty-handed search, resulting in annoying harassment messages from insurance or stock companies.


    Seeing Yue Zhishi send over a photo of Orange and Cotton Candy fighting, Song Yu would reply with a question mark. Seeing a photo of a late night snack, Song Yu would respond with a period rejecting the social media sharing of food late at night. Sometimes Yue Zhishi would forward a question he didn¡¯t understand, and a few minutes later, he would receive a photo with written explanations on how to solve the problem.


    Yue Zhishi felt like Song Yu was actually a tree hole robot with slightly more intelligence. He sent over daily snapshots of his life and would receive a simple reply or evaluation, and when he encountered any problems, he would be able to harvest answers.


    It was actually very good like this ¡ª maybe he himself was also a lonely little robot, needing to complete his daily mission of interacting with Song Yu before he could be rewarded with bits of emotion.


    And then afterwards, their programs would continue to smoothly operate, no software bugs to ruin the flow of their lives.


    ¡°Aren¡¯t you too clingy with your brother?¡± There were a lot of people in the cafeteria, and Jiang Yufan sat next to Yue Zhishi, watching as he typed in a new message. ¡°They should be almost finished by now, right?¡±


    Yue Zhishi had just typed in the words [let me tell you] when he suddenly froze, hearing Jiang Yufan¡¯s words. He turned his head over and asked, ¡°Really?¡±


    Jiang Yufan didn¡¯t understand what he was asking. ¡°Yeah, aren¡¯t there only ten more days? I¡¯ve even counted the days for you.¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Yue Zhishi asked again, ¡°Do you really think I¡¯m too clingy?¡±


    ¡°Oh, that. Maybe just a little bit?¡± Jiang Yufan ate a mouthful of stir-fried noodles and didn¡¯t really think about what he said. He was very quickly distracted. ¡°They call this stir-fried noodles with shredded meat, but where¡¯s the meat? Cafeteria¡¯s such a trap.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was in no mood to care about the quality of the cafeteria¡¯s dishes ¡ª he had a new understanding of how clingy he was as a person, and even started to panic because of it. He¡¯d initially wanted to delete the message he was originally writing, but he accidentally pressed the send button.


    [Yue Zhishi: Let me tell you]


    As soon as he saw the message was sent, he tried to hurriedly recall it back. He didn¡¯t expect a new message to immediately pop up.


    [Xiao Yu gege: Mm]


    So fast¡­ Yue Zhishi thought for a long while, partially trying to remember what he¡¯d initially wanted to say and partially feeling his constant messages to Song Yu truly might be pestering him. Song Yu said before he didn¡¯t have much time to sleep.


    So Yue Zhishi finally replied with never mind.


    After a few seconds, his phone vibrated.


    [Xiao Yu gege: ?]


    [Xiao Yu gege: Then why¡¯d you message me?]


    It was the first time Yue Zhishi felt Song Yu actually wasn¡¯t as busy as he said he was. He read Song Yu¡¯s question, and his first reaction to it was very simpleminded, leading him to reply with a plain sentence without much emotion.


    [Yue Zhishi: I can¡¯t message you if I have nothing to say?]


    He read his message again after he sent it and inexplicably felt it didn¡¯t sound quite right ¡ª and yet he couldn¡¯t really explain how it sounded wrong. He stared at it for a while before he finally turned to Jiang Yufan for help.


    Jiang Yufan squinted at it and then laughed. ¡°How come you sound like a little wife throwing a tantrum? ¡®Can¡¯t message you if I have nothing to say?¡¯¡± He read out the line in a very exaggerated tone. ¡°You dare to say stuff like that even with your brother¡¯s temper.¡±


    No wonder he felt particularly awkward. That sentence carried emotional ambiguity when in writing ¡ª if he¡¯d asked Song Yu that question face to face, he definitely wouldn¡¯t have used the tone Jiang Yufan just added.


    He was just going to explain when Song Yu responded.


    [Xiao Yu gege: You can.]


    He can?


    This reply was already very odd, and even more strange was the lengthy amount of time the little chat box displayed the words ¡®the other party is currently typing¡­¡¯ Yue Zhishi waited for a very long time, and yet he didn¡¯t receive any new messages. He was starting to nervously suspect Song Yu was writing an essay to reprimand him.


    Just as they were leaving the cafeteria and preparing to return back to their night self-study session, Yue Zhishi finally received a message right before he turned off his phone.


    [Xiao Yu gege: You can call me after 10:15pm. My lessons finish then.]


    [Xiao Yu gege: If you want.]


    Xia Zhixu walked over carrying his food tray and saw Song Yu staring at his phone. He¡¯d thought Song Yu would never bring his phone out since only the cafeteria and dormitory had signal.


    He placed his tray onto the table with a bang, Song Yu raising his head. Even though his facial expressions always changed in very minute ways, Xia Zhixu was able to catch a very very small hint of guilt. ¡°Tut tut, you look like you¡¯ve been caught cheating.¡±


    Song Yu flipped his phone face-side down and lowered his head to eat his wontons. He very calmly said, ¡°Are you finally bored enough to entertain yourself with analysing facial expressions?¡±


    ¡°I finally managed to force your important self to say such a long sentence.¡± Xia Zhixu cracked up, his tiger teeth exuberantly displaying. ¡°I¡¯m so curious, what kind of person could get you to be so focused on chatting? Don¡¯t tell me someone with facial paralysis like you has a habit of getting into online relationships.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not chatting,¡± Song Yu flatly denied. ¡°I¡¯m just reading the news on Weibo.¡±


    His words had just left his mouth when his phone suddenly decided to crazily notify him of messages, one after another, causing the entire table to follow along in shaking.


    It was like the phone came with the ability to undermine Song Yu¡¯s words.


    Song Yu¡¯s face said ¡®I don¡¯t feel awkward at all¡¯, and he calmly lifted his phone and opened up WeChat.


    [Yue Zhishi: Really?!]


    [Yue Zhishi: I want to call!! I really want to!!!!]


    [Yue Zhishi: How about tonight, gege? I want to call you today!]


    [Yue Zhishi: Can I call you every day? I promise I¡¯ll only speak for a little while, I¡¯ll definitely won¡¯t bother you!]


    [Yue Zhishi: Please please [pitiful puppy sticker.jpg]]


    Xia Zhixu couldn¡¯t help but laugh out loud. ¡°What big thing is happening on your Weibo? The push notifications are so excessive. It wouldn¡¯t happen to be some big celebrity courageously revealing they¡¯re in a relationship, right?¡± He fished out his own phone. ¡°Let me have a look too.¡±


    Song Yu could feel the vein on his temple jumping.


    Right now, he was in regret ¡ª regretting offering Yue Zhishi a chance to call him as a way to distract him from being angry.


    ¡°I won¡¯t make fun of you anymore.¡± Xia Zhixu put down his phone and started to eat his noodles. ¡°You should hurry up and reply.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s phone shook once again, and Xia Zhixu took the chance to tease him again. ¡°Look, that person¡¯s impatiently waiting.¡±


    Song Yu never intended to speak too much with Xia Zhixu, so he lowered his head and looked at his messages


    [Yue Zhishi: Song Yu gege, are you resting? Can I call you for just one minute? I really want to hear your voice right now.]


    Xia Zhixu¡¯s attention remained on Song Yu, who took his phone and left the cafeteria without finishing his wontons. After a moment, as if he¡¯d solved one of the world¡¯s biggest mysteries, he sent a message to Xu Qichen who was far away in Jingjian.


    [Zhixu: Let me tell you, Song Yu is definitely in an online relationship!]


    The author has something to say:


    Having received this message ¡ª¡ª [Yue Zhishi: I can¡¯t message you if I have nothing to say?]


    Little Jade¡¯s inner heart: Is he angry? He¡¯s definitely angry. He must be, I made my little brother angry.


    Xia Zhixu: what is this facial paralysed guy doing?

 CH 32

    Chapter 32: Unpredictable Changes


    Yue Zhishi heard Song Yu¡¯s voice for the first time after so many days of the training camp. He was very happy, and even though he¡¯d said the phone call would last only one minute, the call was twelve minutes and three seconds long when he hung up.


    From childhood, as long as he was separated from Song Yu, Yue Zhishi would feel a large sense of anxiety and often cried because of it when he was younger. When he¡¯d been in kindergarten, he understood there was no point in crying because Song Yu was studying at a different place, but it was different once he started elementary school ¡ª Yue Zhishi knew Song Yu was on the fourth year students¡¯ floor and yet he wasn¡¯t able to casually look for him. Little children who¡¯d just started their schooling weren¡¯t really able to follow the rules, and Yue Zhishi was also a late bloomer, tears frequently rolling down his face as he missed his gege while in class.


    Because Song Yu had once said he couldn¡¯t cry loudly while outside, the Yue Zhishi who¡¯d just started elementary school constantly sat in class while large drops of tears silently fell from his eyes. Even now, his first year school books were still wrinkled.


    The teachers had been busily directing the lessons and had occasionally looked up to see Yue Zhishi crying. He hadn¡¯t dared to release any noise while he cried and had even obediently crossed his arms on his desk like his fellow classmates ¡ª except his whole face was completely wet. His class advisor once found him too pitiful and had allowed him to listen in Song Yu¡¯s class, so he took a small chair upstairs to class 4-8¡¯s room and sat in the aisle next to Song Yu¡¯s seat.


    He¡¯d stopped crying and peacefully sat there for the entire lesson. When the English teacher got the year four students to stand up and recite vocabulary, Yue Zhishi had also obediently followed along, his two hands tucked behind his back.


    But Song Yu scolded him that night once they¡¯d returned home.


    ¡°You¡¯re not allowed to come over anymore. What are you crying for, you¡¯re already an elementary school student.¡±


    Yue Zhishi had felt very wronged. ¡°I cried because I really missed you.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t know what to say after hearing Yue Zhishi¡¯s words. He was also only just an elementary year four student and had yet to be able to say any deep or profound principles. He also knew Yue Zhishi, as a stubborn child, wouldn¡¯t be able to understand any normal reasoning.


    ¡°If¡­ if you miss me, you should focus on studying well. I¡¯ll also be studying seriously.¡±


    ¡°And then¡­¡± Yue Zhishi had been puzzled.


    ¡°And then I¡¯ll know you miss me, because we¡¯ll be doing the exact same thing. Do you get it?¡± Song Yu had left his room after awkwardly saying some final words. ¡°You¡¯ll affect me if you come to my class. I won¡¯t be able to receive your signal.¡±


    Those words sufficiently tricked Yue Zhishi for at least a year and a half and successfully created the habit of independently going to class.


    He had been like that at three years old, and he had still been like that at seven years old ¡ª so to Yue Zhishi, it wasn¡¯t anything embarrassing to express how much he missed Song Yu. He¡¯d done it often enough since he was a child.


    Before he hung up his phone call with Song Yu, he once again repeated, he really missed him.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t give him a reply, only pausing for a few seconds before he said he would bring home some Beijing pastry specialities for Yue Zhishi.


    But he very quickly corrected himself and said never mind, Yue Zhishi might be allergic and wouldn¡¯t be able to try them.


    Song Yu very rarely forgot Yue Zhishi¡¯s allergy, so he was particularly flustered at this rudimentary error. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t mind, however, and happily started planning how he would pick Song Yu up the day the training camp finished.


    They spoke on the phone every night for the next two, three days. The calls were all within a fifteen minute timeframe, and Xia Zhixu initially teased Song Yu about it before he got used to it. Besides, he was the one who could squat in the corridor and speak on the phone until the early hours of the morning. One day, he came back particularly early, and Song Yu mocked him, asking why he had nothing to say today ¡ª Xia Zhixu only shrugged and said Xu Qichen had fallen asleep as they talked.


    Song Yu caught a glimpse of the phone Xia Zhixu left on his bedside table. He¡¯d yet to hang up, and he lightly, carefully moved about, lifting the phone to his ear for a little while after he finished showering. He didn¡¯t say a single word the entire time, listening only to his phone.


    Song Yu woke up once in the middle of the night and felt there was a slight glow in the room. He got up to look around.


    Xia Zhixu was sleeping very deeply, but his phone still remained on the call screen interface.


    Song Yu initially wanted to bring it up and mock him that night when they were both going to their phone calls, but Xia Zhixu¡¯s phone was stolen that day. He hurriedly borrowed Song Yu¡¯s phone to call his parents and to contact Xu Qichen.


    But Xu Qichen didn¡¯t pick up his phone calls.


    ¡°He doesn¡¯t know my contact details,¡± Song Yu said. ¡°Maybe he doesn¡¯t pick up calls from unknown numbers.¡±


    Xia Zhixu then went onto WeChat and sent Xu Qichen many, many messages, but he yet again didn¡¯t receive a reply. Xu Qichen replied with only one message the next day: okay, I understand.


    Keeping in touch turned troublesome now that he didn¡¯t have a phone. Even though Song Yu told him he could borrow his phone, Xia Zhixu didn¡¯t want to bother him ¡ª he occasionally logged onto WeChat, but he wasn¡¯t really able to contact Xu Qichen.


    ¡°We¡¯ll be back in a few days. I¡¯ll sneak out tomorrow to buy a phone if I can¡¯t handle it.¡±


    He wasn¡¯t able to implement his plan though, as the pressure of the training camp¡¯s latter stages reached its highest peak. He had no way to go outside and also had no time to even use a phone. The camp held many mock competitions, and everyone performed quite well so the teachers specifically brought the students out to eat a nice dinner. They even broke their own rules and allowed the students to go back to their dormitory for an early rest.


    Xia Zhixu bought two bottles of orange-flavoured Bei Bing Yang soda before heading upstairs to the dorm. Coincidentally, just as the two of them were waiting for the lift, the dormitory building lost electricity. There was nothing to do in the building so everyone ran outside, and Song Yu and Xia Zhixu decided to wait outside as well, sitting on the edge of a flower bed.


    It was very hard to see stars in this city. Xia Zhixu tilted his head up and searched for a while before he lowered his head back down. ¡°Time went by so quickly. Only three days left.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t speak, taking a sip of the soda and finding it a bit too sweet.


    ¡°It¡¯s college entrance exams soon.¡± Xia Zhixu bumped into his shoulder. ¡°Nervous?¡±


    Song Yu shook his head. ¡°I¡¯m okay.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s true.¡± Xia Zhixu spread his legs wide open, very relaxed. ¡°I feel like you¡¯re never nervous no matter what you do. Always effortlessly and easily doing the things you need to do.¡±


    Song Yu glanced at him. ¡°Aren¡¯t you the same?¡±


    Xia Zhixu also shook his head. ¡°I¡¯m just pretending most of the time.¡± He bent his right leg and wrapped an arm around it. ¡°Isn¡¯t it strange? I always look like I¡¯m a positive person, but actually I¡¯m running away from reality every day. Sometimes I¡¯ll be with a group of people, laughing about this or chatting about that, but secretly, I¡¯m thinking I¡¯m so tired or I¡¯m so bored or I want to go home. And yet, I¡¯ll continue to fake it because only this way will things be less troublesome.¡±


    Even if Xia Zhixu hadn¡¯t said it out loud, Song Yu had long felt this about him.


    He thought about something and hesitated, wondering if he should bring it up. He watched as the air bubbles in his glass bottle popped, one by one.


    ¡°If you don¡¯t like troublesome things so much, then in the future¡­ What are you going to do?¡±


    Xia Zhixu looked at him and asked in confusion, ¡°In the future?¡±


    Song Yu gazed at his eyes. ¡°Stop pretending.¡± He said further, ¡°I can already tell.¡±


    Xia Zhixu finally understood.


    He buried his head in his knees and released a long, long sigh. He remained silent for a while, and then he placed the glass bottle in his hands onto the edge of the flower bed. ¡°I just want to take each day as it comes.¡± He stared at the ground. ¡°Haven¡¯t you felt like that before? When you¡¯re about to do something you¡¯re really unsure about, you just want everything to remain the same.¡±


    It was clearly Xia Zhixu who said those words, but for Song Yu, it felt like those words were cut directly from his heart.


    Seeing Song Yu didn¡¯t reply, Xia Zhixu raised his head, sniffing. He looked like he suddenly thought of something and asked, laughing, ¡°Hey, did you go to Zhongshan Park when you were a kid?¡±


    ¡°What a stupid question,¡± Song Yu said.


    ¡°Have you fed pigeons before?¡±


    Song Yu speechlessly stared at him.


    Xia Zhixu grinned at him with his tiger teeth. ¡°Of course you have. I used to really love feeding pigeons when I was younger. I¡¯d buy a little pouch of bird food, pour a bit into the palm of my hand and crouch down. They¡¯d all come flying to me. You¡¯d think they¡¯d be scared of people, but they were so friendly when they came close and would happily eat the food. But if you said they weren¡¯t scared of people¡­ As soon as I reached out a hand to touch them, they would flutter their wings and fly away. And once they flew away, they never came back.¡±


    ¡°I feel like that right now. Do you get it?¡± Xia Zhixu asked, smile hanging on his lips.


    Song Yu¡¯s hand was frozen by the soda.


    Of course he did. It was just that compared to Xia Zhixu, their situations weren¡¯t quite the same. His pigeon might always follow behind him, unable to be driven away, but in order to prevent anything dangerous from happening, not only did he need to pull his hand back, he needed to push him away.


    After a silent moment, Song Yu opened his mouth. ¡°Then you plan on continuing on like you¡¯ve always had?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­¡± Xia Zhixu looked at the lights not too far away. ¡°Sometimes I imagine ¡ª both of us going to the same university, taking the same general education courses. He¡¯d watch as I played in basketball competitions. We¡¯d join the same university society and go to dinner parties together. We might even rent an apartment together during our internship years and become flatmates. I think being like that would be enough.¡±


    Song Yu softly laughed once. ¡°You ask for so little.¡±


    Xia Zhixu shook his head in self mockery. ¡°What I ask for is directly proportionate to the probability of it happening. The world is so large. Being able to meet someone you really like, someone the same gender as you, and to have that someone like you back ¡ª that¡¯s definitely something with a low probability of actually coming true.¡±


    What he said was reasonable. Song Yu subconsciously calculated his own probability ¡ª it might be even lower.


    Even movies wouldn¡¯t dare show something so coincidental.


    ¡°Being able to be friends and stay together every day is already good enough.¡± After a momentary pause, Xia Zhixu slapped his thigh, seemingly in a very generous manner. ¡°As to whether he¡¯ll have a girlfriend in the future or not, as long as I don¡¯t imagine it, then he won¡¯t.¡±


    That kind of self-deceptive, escapist mindset could really only make Xia Zhixu himself laugh. Song Yu couldn¡¯t.


    The dormitory building¡¯s electricity finally came back, and the training camp teachers all ushered them inside. Xia Zhixu stood up and gave a large stretch. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡±


    He thought ¡ª maybe it was because they didn¡¯t see each other often even though his relationship with Song Yu was quite good, or maybe it was because Song Yu was someone naturally quite tightlipped that he was able to say such utter nonsense without worrying about it.


    He¡¯ll just pretend he shared his secrets with an unresponsive tree hole.


    Since tree holes wouldn¡¯t have their own secrets anyway.


    Song Yu also stood up. He didn¡¯t have a habit of comforting others, and he also knew comfort was useless in this case. But as he spoke with Xia Zhixu, he couldn¡¯t help but occasionally remember the lunch together under the rain and Xu Qichen¡¯s red ear.


    The two hands briefly touching before falling away.


    His mind cleared in a flash, as if an example showing him how to solve the question finally arrived in front of his eyes. He wasn¡¯t an exam marker, only a student on the sidelines who didn¡¯t know the right answers from the wrong ones ¡ª and yet he still wanted to take part in this particular test.


    Compared to him, Xia Zhixu clearly had a chance to keep the pigeon by his side.


    ¡°You should give it a try.¡±


    Xia Zhixu froze. He didn¡¯t expect the tree hole to respond, let alone to respond with such a suggestion.


    Song Yu spoke calmly and yet full of certainty. ¡°After you go back this time, just try once. The result might be better than what you can imagine.¡±


    He didn¡¯t know how this question would be marked.


    But he really hoped his answer was correct.


    The one month high pressure training camp finally ended, and the flight from the training camp back to school was scheduled for noon. Xia Zhixu dragged Song Yu from the dormitory in the early morning hours, saying he needed to buy something when he was actually going to look for gifts.


    They went to a local famous bookstore, Xia Zhixu needing to pick up a book he reserved a long time ago. Song Yu listened by the sidelines, and only then learned that the book was actually really hard to buy ¡ª it was a limited edition run of the original English publication with the author¡¯s signature. It was only because the author had once held a fan signing in this bookstore that Xia Zhixu was able to buy it.


    ¡°What are you going to buy? I¡¯ll go with you.¡± With his newly purchased book, Xia Zhixu was in a very good mood.


    Song Yu shook his head, expressing he didn¡¯t need to bring gifts back home. But Xia Zhixu didn¡¯t believe him at all and kept trying to pull him there and pull him here, before finally discovering a store offering handmade notebooks behind the original bookstore. Xia Zhixu refused to leave once he went inside and spent two hours making a small motivational notebook, the outside leather covering also personally sewn by Xia Zhixu himself.


    As for Song Yu, he created a sketchbook filled with 16K paper. The leather cover was steely gray, and after the store owner said he could manually engrave either some characters or personal design onto it, Song Yu wavered for a moment before drawing a triangular block of cheese with holes. He carefully etched it onto the leather.


    Despite having quick brains for answering questions, the two of them turned particularly clumsy at doing handiwork. They weren¡¯t satisfied no matter what they did and ended up being almost late for the assembly to go to the airport.


    The flight was landing after taking a nap, and they once again got onto the same coach that had initially taken them away. Song Yu really detested flights ¡ª he wasn¡¯t able to sleep well on the flight, so he continued to nap after getting on the bus. He put on his earphones as the coach kept rocking and swaying, his senses all blurred and fuzzy.


    The complicated anxiety of finally being close to home after a long absence gave birth to a dream.  He couldn¡¯t see anything concrete in his dream, only fainting hearing Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice as it transmitted to him through a radio wave. Yue Zhishi pretended to not understand how to answer a question despite knowing exactly what to do. A girl in the row behind him swept open the curtains on the windows, the light stinging his eyes, and he was finally able to clearly see his dimly lit dream. Yue Zhishi was standing in the light not too far away, staying exactly in place.


    Song Yu walked towards him, hand holding a sketchbook he may never again make in his lifetime.


    At least in his dream, he was unable to stay where he was.


    As they were about to reach Jingjian High, his surroundings abruptly became noisy, and the music in his earphones could no longer block the chatter. Song Yu frowned and heard Xia Zhixu¡¯s voice.


    ¡°Class 4? What happened to class 4?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s real, but this forum post really writes like it is. And it¡¯s been circulated all over QQ¡­¡±


    Song Yu opened his eyes and saw Xia Zhixu next to him not looking quite right. He held onto someone else¡¯s phone and browsed online, but his hand was slightly shaky, his eyebrows tightly knit together.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong? What are you looking at?¡±


    Xia Zhixu didn¡¯t give him a single shred of response. Song Yu felt even more strongly that there was a problem, so he took off his earphones. ¡°Hey, what happened.¡±


    Xia Zhixu reached out a hand just as he finished speaking and held onto the seat in front of him, his eyes lost and confused. He blinked multiple times. Song Yu very rarely saw him like this ¡ª no matter where and when, Xia Zhixu always displayed a sunlit warmth different from ordinary people. And yet at this moment, he looked as if he¡¯d collapsed.


    Song Yu noticed that the boy sitting behind him looked worried. The phone was most likely his, so he leaned over and asked what happened.


    He was a younger student in Jingjian, and even he was a bit perplexed. ¡°There¡¯s a really popular forum post in our school today, it¡¯s been spread everywhere in QQ. I only gave it to senior to have a look, I also don¡¯t know what happened.¡± He was a bit worried and went up to pat Xia Zhixu¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Senior, what¡¯s wrong, are you okay?¡±


    Forum post?


    The bus stopped while Song Yu was confused, and their lead teacher reminded all the Jingjian students that they¡¯d already arrived. Xia Zhixu, without taking his bag, rushed off the bus as everyone looked on with uncertain eyes.


    ¡°Xia Zhixu!¡± Song Yu followed behind him with his bag. In just this short amount of time, Xia Zhixu had already ran past the school entrance, but Song Yu was stopped outside.


    ¡°Student, you¡¯re not wearing our school¡¯s uniform, are you?¡±


    Song Yu stood outside the entrance and yelled Xia Zhixu¡¯s name once again ¡ª but it was like he didn¡¯t hear him at all, running desperately towards the teaching building.


    ¡°Senior Song Yu.¡± The junior who was just sitting behind Xia Zhixu rushed over. ¡°Let me bring senior¡¯s bag.¡±


    With a lowered head, Song Yu looked at Xia Zhixu¡¯s bag. It was very heavy, the book he¡¯d anxiously wanted to gift and the notebook he¡¯d made by hand resting inside ¡ª and yet he¡¯d forgotten to take even these away with him.


    The coach didn¡¯t wait for him. Song Yu stood in front of Jingjian¡¯s entrance by himself, lost in his thoughts.


    He thought about the forum post the junior had mentioned, so he took out his phone and tentatively explored an online space he¡¯d never really seen before. Quite a lot of his junior high classmates had entered Jingjian for high school, and the two high schools¡¯ social circles actually overlapped quite substantially. He kept scrolling downwards in a hurry until he finally saw an reposted article. Song Yu¡¯s fingers paused and no longer moved.


    He was frozen for a second.


    The article¡¯s headline was as eye-catching as if it¡¯d come straight from a gossip tabloid. If he¡¯d seen it on a normal day, Song Yu would¡¯ve ignored it ¡ª but the protagonist of this particular article was Xu Qichen.


    [High school class 3-4¡¯s class adviser and male student is in a romantic relationship, complete with photos and the truth. Is the school not going to care about this?]


    There was only one photo in the article, and it wasn¡¯t strong proof by any means. It only showed Xu Qichen getting into a car, and it looked like his young male class adviser was also inside. Other than that, the article listed a bunch of things as evidence that had yet to be proved, such as unusual meetings outside of class or even awards obtained through improper methods.


    Replies to the article have already been shared, rumours spreading like wild fire. Every single person hotly and vividly debated this issue, as if everyone had seen the two of them do something in person.


    Watching as all these people turned the cool and calm Xu Qichen into a ruthless character who knew how to seduce an adult man for his own personal gain, Song Yu felt this was an absurd situation ¡ª and yet he also felt it was very realistic. He had always viewed the world negatively and was never too surprised when something unpleasant happened.


    Talent brought glory and achievements in exchange, but they could always be distorted into illicit, dirty results. It was the inevitable evil of humans constantly chasing after excitement and stimulation.


    In the eyes of the public, how could the truth be more important than the dramatic ups and downs of life?


    Even though he¡¯d always admitted to being detached and indifferent, Song Yu suddenly saw the article and the sarcastic, mocking replies from Xia Zhixu¡¯s perspective, as if he¡¯d entered his body for a moment.


    The students in the replies viewed the article only as gossip, and not many people actually suspected if the article¡¯s claim was true. Song Yu¡¯s junior high classmate who¡¯d reposted it had included only one sentence in his post.


    [Oh my god, a homosexual teacher/student pair ¡ª even TV wouldn¡¯t film something so stimulating, that student¡¯s finished]


    Song Yu stared at that sentence, mood very complicated. It felt like something was forcefully peeled off of him, exposing a not very honest and forthright heart. His imagination replaced a few words in that sentence ¡ª and then the sentence became a coldly shining knife that gouged out his heart and threw it under the sun.


    The bell for the afternoon¡¯s final class rang, and students came out one after another. Many of them stayed by the entrance to pick up their food deliveries. Song Yu, with his uniform from another school, was as conspicuous as if he was an alien.


    He wanted to message Xia Zhixu and say something, but he abruptly remembered Xia Zhixu was so pitiful he had nothing left ¡ª not even a cell phone.


    There was an endless stream of traffic on the road. Song Yu went and caught a taxi back to Peiya, and the driver kept up his friendly chatter the entire way. Song Yu couldn¡¯t utter a single word, so the embarrassed driver stopped his one-sided conversation. Song Yu paid, a single apology leaving his mouth as he got out of the car. After he turned around, he stopped in his tracks.


    There weren¡¯t many people at the school entrance. The junior high students had already left the school at noon for their monthly break, and only high school students remained to complete an extra half day of lessons. Just outside the school, Yue Zhishi sat on a little stool in front of the newsstand in a cream-coloured sweater and read a newly bought magazine, his head drooped.


    He looked very absorbed in what he was reading. Song Yu knew, no matter what Yue Zhishi did, he would always focus his all to it.


    But Song Yu had forgotten a long time ago ¡ª such a good habit was actually taught by himself.


    Separated by ten metres, Song Yu quietly gazed at him, like a stranger. Sometimes he really did wish he could be a stranger.


    Maybe it was telepathy, but Yue Zhishi lifted his head as he turned a page, and his eyes matched up with Song Yu¡¯s as he stood in the distance.


    ¡°Song Yu gege?¡± Yue Zhishi immediately stood up, a smile very quickly diffusing across his face. His hair, facial expression, clothes, even the way he ran over to Song Yu ¡ª they were all especially soft and filled with joy like a little puppy who had waited for his master for a very, very long time. Every single action played in slow motion in Song Yu¡¯s heart, full of pleasing little details.


    But at that moment, Song Yu¡¯s mind was still flooded with those unkind taunts, the violence that was camouflaged by curiosity.


    As he stood in the wind, Song Yu hoped those dark things would stay behind him. He hoped Yue Zhishi would forever stay brilliant.


    Yue Zhishi ran over and stopped in front of his gege, not even taking the time to take a breath before he said, ¡°The training bus was just here. I thought you¡¯d come out, but only one person came down after waiting for a long time. I asked the driver, and he said you got off earlier. I even thought you wouldn¡¯t come back to school.¡±


    I thought you¡¯d forgotten I would come pick you up.


    Song Yu could imagine how Yue Zhishi looked like as he waited in front of the bus door, peering inside. He managed to move the corners of his mouth with difficulty. ¡°Then why are you still waiting here.¡±


    Yue Zhishi smiled at him. ¡°I thought you¡¯d come back. And¡­¡±


    His eyelashes fluttered down, and a harmless innocence that begged to be protected spread across his face. ¡°You told me before to stay where I was and wait for you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi tugged at his hair before he realised what he¡¯d just said was a bit strange. ¡°I mean, if I went to look for you¡­ I didn¡¯t know where you were, and you didn¡¯t reply to my messages¡­¡±


    ¡°Le Le.¡±


    Song Yu interrupted him with the name Yue Zhishi had rarely heard from him after growing up.


    He was stunned and looked at him in confusion. ¡°Hm?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m so tired.¡± His voice was a bit hoarse, and a vulnerability inconsistent from the usual Song Yu exhaled from all over his body, making Yue Zhishi feel disorientated and worried. After so many years, he¡¯d never once seen Song Yu so directly express his own uncomfortable and negative feelings.


    As a child, Yue Zhishi felt that his heart was actually grown on Song Yu¡¯s body. Even if Song Yu injured his knee and let out a lot of blood while playing soccer, his face had remained expressionless as his injury was treated. It was only Yue Zhishi who would cry.


    Wildly and luxuriously green Chinese parasol trees shielded Peiya¡¯s empty school entrance. They stood on both sides of the street and grew, flourishing, until they almost gobbled up the blue sky. A southern magnolia flower fell noiselessly onto the soil. Large, roaring trucks passed behind them, carrying heavy cargo almost about to exceed their weight load.


    The earth was trembling.


    Yue Zhishi took a step forward and wrapped his arms around Song Yu.


    He put his chin on Song Yu¡¯s shoulder, his soft palm slowly caressing up and down his back. ¡°Gege, lean on me.¡±


    ¡°Let me charge your battery, okay?¡±


    The author has something to say:


    PS: the side ship isn¡¯t BE, they¡¯ll be together after a few years. They¡¯ll occasionally appear later in order to prompt changes in gege¡¯s emotions. This ship actually isn¡¯t too angsty ¡ª the saddest part has been witnessed by Song Yu.


    Let me just say one more time, there are no big knives in Song Yu and Le Le¡¯s relationship development (such as a break up and then reunite together later like some readers are imagining), but there has to be small setbacks. This particular matter was a type of awakening for gege ¡ª it has definitely affected him.


    Lovely Allergen¡¯s couple can be considered as fauxcest with an older gong. There¡¯s no way they can start understanding their feelings, confirm their relationship and get married without any worries. There has to be some emotional changes and struggles as they go through their journey (all of my books are like this). But really, there are no big knives like breaking up and then getting back together later (of course, I plan on writing a book with that tag later, I already have the initial characters x)

 CH 33

    Chapter 33: May All Your Wishes Come True


    Xu Qichen¡¯s rumours spread also to Peiya. Compared to the Jingjian who was in the centre of the storm, Peiya¡¯s students weren¡¯t much calmer: everyone loved gossip. The rumours were grossly exaggerated, and different kinds of the ¡®truth¡¯ came out, each version stranger and more contrived than the last.


    The gossip recklessly misrepresented Xu Qichen¡¯s personality and usual behaviour. The gossipers have never even seen him before, and yet they all acted as if they were the ones who understood him best. ¡°I heard¡±, ¡°allegedly¡±, ¡°just by looking at that face¡±, ¡°everyone¡¯s heard already¡± ¡ª in the midst of all these illogical, empty words, the person concerned had already lost his true identity.


    The second day after the training camp finished, Song Yu returned back to school. Another boy sitting at his table in the cafeteria during lunch started to talk about this topic.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure you guys must¡¯ve heard right, about that guy from Jingjian. A male student having an affair with a male teacher.¡± The boy¡¯s sexual orientation was the same as a large majority of the population, and his belief in his superiority showed in his words. ¡°It¡¯s so disgusting how a man can like another man. Good thing they¡¯re not here, or else I wouldn¡¯t even dare come to school.¡± A few of the people around him burst into laughter after he finished.


    Qin Yan picked up a bite of the communal food dishes with his chopsticks and threw it into his food tray, lazily saying, ¡°That¡¯s enough. There¡¯s plenty of girls who like boys on the streets. Do you see them liking any random guy they see? It¡¯s the same for gay men too.¡±


    The other student¡¯s face fell in irritation. ¡°So what? Gay people can¡¯t be gossiped about? Don¡¯t tell me you like guys too.¡±


    Qin Yan placed down his chopsticks. ¡°Honestly, I like pretty girls with long, straight black hair. But even if I suddenly turned gay one day, I still wouldn¡¯t like men from the Qing Dynasty.¡±


    Song Yu had been silently brooding as they talked. He grabbed his still fairly full food tray and stood up as Qin Yan was speaking, walking away with a look on his face. Qin Yan saw how he looked and also followed him with his food tray.


    The fourth day after they came back from the training camp, Song Yu finally received Xia Zhixu¡¯s WeChat reply.


    [Xia Zhixu: I¡¯m fine.]


    But Song Yu didn¡¯t feel like he was truly fine. The people surrounding him were all very noisy, and his desk mate was taking the chance to catch up on sleep. He sent a message.


    [Song Yu: If you¡¯d like to play some basketball, you can look for me during the weekend.]


    He very rarely cared about others, but Song Yu wasn¡¯t able to be a completely indifferent bystander when it came to Xia Zhixu. Maybe it was because he just happened to witness his breakdown, or maybe it was because he really did consider Xia Zhixu as his mirror.


    The mirror was shattered, and his reflection in it was also in pieces.


    The sky was grey, and the rain came down in needles, drizzling down in a way this city rarely saw. Song Yu gazed out the window, lost in his thoughts. A memory drifted back again into his mind ¡ª of that day he stood outside Peiya¡¯s school entrance after he¡¯d just come back from the training camp.


    It was very hard for him to describe how it had felt to be embraced by Yue Zhishi after witnessing an example of such utter defeat.


    If he had to describe it, then he would probably describe it as drinking poison to end his thirst.


    That day, Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t ask a single thing, only soothingly saying, let¡¯s go home, we can watch a documentary together?


    As if he were the child and Yue Zhishi was a very mature adult.


    For the first time, they took the streets home from school. The road was very long, and Yue Zhishi had tightly held onto him the entire way, sharing a lot of happy things that had happened at school. He¡¯d also told him one of Aunt Rong¡¯s friends had a border collie and that border collie had recently given birth. The puppies were particularly cute when he¡¯d gone to see them.


    Yue Zhishi would never tire of putting in all his effort to transfer his warmth to Song Yu.


    But Song Yu hadn¡¯t given him too much of a response.


    From the very moment he¡¯d seen that post, an intention to retreat grew in Song Yu. He¡¯d thought ¡ª forget it, this is too dangerous, even the heavens were trying to warn him away. But once he faced Yue Zhishi in person, there was no way for him to withdraw so firmly and decisively.


    Sure enough, he wasn¡¯t mature at all.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t end up gifting the handmade sketchbook to Yue Zhishi. He kept it in his school bag, and sometimes he¡¯d see it whenever he went to grab his textbooks and pretend to not see it. After a little while longer, he pushed it into his desk drawer and hid it underneath many, many books.


    He lay on his desk after class, eyes closed in rest. His phone vibrated.


    [Xia Zhixu: I can¡¯t distract you from studying. We can play again after exams.]


    Before he could respond, a new message appeared in their chat.


    [Xia Zhixu: I finally managed to see him. But it didn¡¯t look like he wanted to see me. He said he wasn¡¯t homosexual and also didn¡¯t want to be friends with me anymore.]


    [Xia Zhixu: You said I should give it a try. I don¡¯t think there¡¯s a chance anymore.]


    That night with no electricity, the shoddy pigeon analogies and Xia Zhixu¡¯s conservative imagination ¡ª they all felt like omens. Song Yu thought, if Xia Zhixu had tried to flinch back one more time before this stuff happened, he would¡¯ve pushed at his shoulder and said, ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡¯s true.¡±


    But now, there was no way for him to say such a thing.


    Xia Zhixu and Xu Qichen were an example with a higher chance of success, and yet they ended so explicitly in front of Song Yu. He¡¯d thought he was mature enough to stimulate the heart of someone so similar to him, wanting to create the results he desired. To say he was generous enough to want to help someone else achieve love? Not really.


    Song Yu knew ¡ª he was looking only a successful example nearby, so that he could give himself a little encouragement.


    When it came down to it, he was still too young.


    No one could ever guess what tomorrow will bring.


    Yue Zhishi would occasionally think about how Song Yu looked like that day he returned back to school.


    His exhaustion hadn¡¯t lasted too long. After they¡¯d arrived home, Song Yu didn¡¯t watch a documentary with him ¡ª only closing himself into his room, and when he came out again, he was once again the indifferent Song Yu.


    Even though his speech and actions weren¡¯t all too different compared to before he¡¯d left for the training camp, Yue Zhishi kept vaguely feeling as if Song Yu had changed slightly. He spoke even less than before and refused to express his inner thoughts even more.


    Once he returned back to school after the monthly break, Yue Zhishi also heard the rumours of Xu Qichen. Yue Zhishi would directly, face to face, object to anyone who tried to maliciously slander Xu Qichen in front of him.


    He strongly believed Xu Qichen wasn¡¯t the type of person they all said he was, but this event eventually left a shadow in Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart.


    So there were also boys who liked other men.


    From childhood, their education had taught only about opposite attraction. Very little other possibilities were brought to their attention in order to establish the same ideas in everyone. The start of awareness, the sprouting of consciousness, could only begin from doubt.


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but remember the rainy day they¡¯d first met. He thought about the subtly different relationship between Xu Qichen and Xia Zhixu and felt as it he¡¯d discovered something ¡ª and yet felt what he discovered wasn¡¯t clear enough.


    He¡¯d already been about to fall asleep when he turned over and opened his phone, searching online for some answers.


    In the morning, Yue Zhishi was almost late, startling awake only when he heard Lin Rong knocking at his door. The phone in his hand had already turned off from the lack of battery. He speedily cleaned up and went downstairs, and in the living room, he saw Song Yu pulling off his school shirt. Lean muscles covered all over his back, and they stretched with any random movement.


    A strange feeling suddenly grew in Yue Zhishi, and he stopped in his tracks.


    Lin Rong brought over another school shirt. ¡°This one should be dry. I gave you the wrong one earlier, no wonder it was a bit damp. Here.¡± She passed over the shirt to Song Yu and saw Yue Zhishi frozen in place once she lifted her head. She urged, ¡°Le Le, why are you still standing there, hurry and eat something. I can drive you guys to school today.¡±


    Song Yu put on the new shirt and also looked around, meeting Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes for a short amount of time.


    His fingertips felt like they were electrified. Yue Zhishi dropped his eyes and hurried down to get ready.


    Lin Rong drove a small sedan, and after entering the car, Yue Zhishi and Song Yu each stuck to a car door and the window. The two of them were separated by a distance.


    After glancing at them through the rearview mirror, Lin Rong teased, ¡°Le Le, you¡¯ve grown up.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was a bit confused. ¡°Hm?¡±


    ¡°You used to be stuck onto your brother¡¯s body.¡± She laughed very prettily, her pearl earring swaying. ¡°Hanging onto him like a little pendant.¡±


    Hearing her words, both Song Yu and Yue Zhishi turned and glanced at the gap between them. Two seconds later, Song Yu brought his head back to look at the passing scenery, and Yue Zhishi stared at the school bag on his lap.


    ¡°Sticking together¡¯s a bit hot,¡± Yue Zhishi weakly explained.


    ¨C


    The two weeks before the college entrance exams, Yue Zhishi kept falling sick with an upset stomach and once even had a fever.


    He was afraid the people at home would worry, so he secretly went to a nearby medical clinic. The old doctor sat there and only briefly looked at him before saying many students had come by lately, just like him, all sick from the excessive stress and tension of the upcoming exams.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be nervous. The more nervous you are, the more uncomfortable you¡¯ll be.¡± The doctor gave him a general exam, sat down and pulled out a medical record book from his drawer. He glanced at the calendar. ¡°Ah, it¡¯s already the 2nd. Then the college exams aren¡¯t that far away then.¡±


    His pen flew across the page, and without even lifting his head, he asked, ¡°What¡¯s your name, and how old are you?¡±


    Yue Zhishi gave him his name and said, ¡°I¡¯m fifteen.¡± He sat across from the doctor and honestly told him, ¡°I¡¯m not the one taking the college entrance exams.¡±


    ¡°Fifteen?¡± The doctor pushed up his reading glasses. ¡°Ah? I was thinking you looked too young for the college exams. Then you¡¯re worried about the high school exams?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think I am.¡± Yue Zhishi said, ¡°But I am a bit nervous, I can¡¯t sleep well at night.¡± He added, ¡°My gege is about to take the college exams.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re worried for him.¡± The doctor thought it was very funny. ¡°You should think more about yourself, foolish child.¡±


    Yue Zhishi ended up taking a bunch of medicine home, his symptoms mostly disappearing after taking them for two days.


    The school soon notified the junior high department that they¡¯ll be setting up the college entrance exam venue in a few days so they needed to start moving all of their books home, the classrooms turning into the exam venue after being cleaned. From the creation of the venue to the end of the exam, all junior high students were then released from school, and Yue Zhishi could only study at home.


    He went downstairs looking for some food after some studying, and Lin Rong just happened to be video-chatting with a good friend. Lin Rong waved at him to go over, so he sat next to her with a pudding in his hands, very politely greeting auntie.


    ¡°So well behaved. You¡¯ve turned handsomer, too. Hey, Xiao Rong, both of your sons are taking entrance exams soon, right?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± Lin Rong¡¯s face immediately changed, and she covered her heart with a hand. ¡°I hope they¡¯ll both stay healthy. We¡¯ll go on a trip after they finish.¡±


    ¡°Really, other parents are worried about exam results while all you think about is going out to play. Hey, you know that Chen Xiaomei, the doctor? She went to the Guiyuan Temple the other day to burn some incense for her daughter.¡±


    Lin Rong laughed. ¡°Does that really help?¡±


    ¡°Someone introduced the idea to her. Someone said before it¡¯s super miraculous, and it¡¯s making even me want to go and burn a stick of incense.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t be bothered to go, it¡¯s too troublesome. My eldest wouldn¡¯t be grateful for it anyway.¡±


    Yue Zhishi sat by the side and listened to their conservation, going upstairs after finishing his pudding. He turned on his computer and looked up Guiyuan Temple, unexpectedly seeing only good reviews. His education has always been secular and non-religious, but Yue Zhishi saw one particular review and felt it was particularly logical ¡ª if you sincerely believe, only then will it come true.


    Besides, Yue Zhishi was unhappy just thinking about how there would be someone in the same exam venue who will have burned some incense, prayed to a god and carried a protective talisman while Song Yu had nothing at all.


    If other people had something, gege must have it too.


    Yue Zhishi was a person of action, the next day leaving the house early with all the money he needed. He said he was going to KFC with a friend for some review and ran off. Guiyuan Temple was very far from home, so he took the subway all the way until he reached the right bus stop. He then took a very long bike ride before finally arriving at his destination.


    Since it was so close to the exams, the temple was completely packed with people. Yue Zhishi went in by himself and realised there were no guides inside ¡ª he had no choice but to follow the other worshippers. Guiyuan Temple was much larger than he expected, each temple building looking very similar to each other, and he circled around in confusion a few times asking for directions. There were also too many different bodhisattva statues, Yue Zhishi dizzy just by looking at the 500 arhat statues alone. He was tossed from side to side the entire afternoon until he finally managed to find the place he was looking for.


    He carefully observed the people around him as he lined up to offer incense. When it was finally his turn, he very seriously bowed and paid his respects.


    Please, you must protect and bless gege so that everything goes well. He sincerely, silently prayed.


    Before he left, Yue Zhishi went to try his hand at Chinese fortune sticks. Someone next to him teased, ¡°You¡¯re so young and already here to worship. Do you understand what¡¯s written on the stick?¡±


    A sentence resembling ancient poems was written on the fortune stick, and Yue Zhishi truthfully said he didn¡¯t and asked if he could explain it to him.


    ¡°Are you looking for answers for yourself? What¡¯d you ask for?¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s for my ge.¡± Worried that he would forget the explanation, Yue Zhishi took out his phone to record it down.


    The other person raised his glasses. ¡°I see.¡± He gave the stick back to Yue Zhishi. ¡°You don¡¯t want to request one for yourself? You¡¯ve come so far.¡±


    That was true ¡ª so Yue Zhishi prayed again, asking the same person to explain the stick to him before bringing both sticks home.


    Yue Zhishi was tired and fell asleep on the bus. He accidentally missed his stop and got off the bus at an unfamiliar station, heading across the road to take the bus going the opposite direction. He was hungry the entire way to the subway and was so mentally and physically tired he felt as if he himself went on a pilgrimage.


    As he sat on the subway, he pulled out his two fortune sticks and matched the two of them to the explanations he¡¯d recorded on his phone. Song Yu¡¯s stick had led him to Monk 169 Guanshen, while the stick he¡¯d prayed for himself had brought him to Monk 015 Futuo Mido. He compared the two and felt the fortune stick he received for himself had a better message.


    Song Yu came home a lot earlier than usual that night ¡ª it was the final day before the college exams.


    Song Yu had stopped going to and from school with Yue Zhishi after the training camp. It was the final sprint before the exams, so even after he returned home from school, Song Yu would still stay in his room to study and not come out.


    Yue Zhishi had also reached the critical time period for preparing for his own exams. But because of the growth of some inexplainable feeling, he lately hadn¡¯t gone to look for Song Yu on his own.


    They clearly lived under the same roof, and yet the two of them subtly stepped around each other.


    It started to rain again. Each year, the college entrance examinations would always be held on a rainy day, and Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but worry because of this ¡ª he¡¯d always felt rain was never a good sign. He opened his door when he heard noises from downstairs, and seeing Song Yu come home, he stood and waited in front of his room.


    Song Yu reached the last step on the stairs, shifting his head to look at him. His eyes slightly brightened, but his lowering eyelashes covered and hid away that light.


    ¡°Yes?¡± He walked over.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s two hands were hidden behind his back, the gentle corridor light framing his pure gaze. It made Song Yu think about the message Yue Zhishi had sent before ¡ª seems like he¡¯d truly been mistaken. Yue Zhishi wouldn¡¯t get angry because of something like that.


    ¡°Gege, I have something I want to give you.¡± Yue Zhishi walked a bit closer.


    But Song Yu didn¡¯t look like he wanted to open his door. He stood in place. ¡°What?¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want Lin Rong to find out, thinking it was a bit embarrassing to go to a temple all by himself, so he tried again. ¡°Can I go inside? I¡¯ll only take up a little bit of your time.¡±


    ¡°Here is fine.¡± Song Yu didn¡¯t move, and directly said what he guessed was happening. ¡°If it¡¯s something you made by hand, or anything else, you can just give it me.¡±


    Downstairs, Lin Rong just happened to look up and see them. ¡°Why are you two standing in the corridor? Le Le, do you want some juice?¡±


    Yue Zhishi hurriedly shook his head. ¡°No, I¡¯m okay.¡± He once again looked over and gave Song Yu a pitiful expression. He had no intention of giving up, but this time, he didn¡¯t reach out a hand and pull at Song Yu¡¯s wrist.


    His pair of large yet translucent light-coloured eyes was full of innocence, delivering his plea for Song Yu to take pity on him.


    Song Yu sometimes suspected that Yue Zhishi actually knew he had no way of rejecting him. His actions were always balanced exactly right and would never go too far. He¡¯d lift his legs just slightly higher than the threshold Song Yu had installed for him.


    He turned around, silently opening his door, and went inside to turn on the light, rejecting his own suspicions all by himself.


    He was wrong.


    He¡¯d never had a threshold towards Yue Zhishi.


    It was already spring, and the white wool rug had already been put away, the room once again turning into that icily cold space with not much signs of life. Yue Zhishi closed the door and jumped straight into what he¡¯d wanted to say, giving Song Yu the protective talisman in his hand.


    ¡°This is a talisman I asked for at Guiyuan Temple, they all say it really works.¡± Yue Zhishi was worried Song Yu wouldn¡¯t take it, so he very quickly introduced it like an insurance salesman. ¡°Did you know? There were so many people there to burn incense, and many of them all asked for this talisman. They all say it¡¯s legendary. The temple was really big and really confusing, I had to look around an entire morning before I found it. Not only that, when everyone else placed their incense sticks, they only knelt and bowed three times. I made sure to bow one more time compared to everyone else. The bodhisattvas definitely must¡¯ve seen how sincere I was.¡±


    Song Yu lowered his head and considered the so called legendary talisman in his hand. Hearing Yue Zhishi¡¯s long-winded speech, he could already imagine how he¡¯d looked like, foolishly running around in the temple.


    He said he¡¯d bowed one extra time. It definitely wouldn¡¯t have been only once.


    ¡°Thank you.¡± Song Yu placed the talisman onto his desk and said nothing further.


    The understanding between them told Yue Zhishi that gege was hinting at him to leave. He very obviously started to get upset, feeling that gege truly didn¡¯t believe in these things just like how Aunt Rong had earlier said.


    ¡°No need to thank me.¡± Yue Zhishi sniffled, his next words very wobbly. ¡°It¡¯ll rain all the way to tomorrow morning.¡±


    Song Yu looked at how Yue Zhishi appeared to not want to leave and slightly wavered. They silently stood across from each other for around five seconds before Yue Zhishi decided to give up. The moment he was about to turn around and leave, Song Yu opened his mouth.


    ¡°Which bodhisattva did you pray to?¡± He picked up the talisman and asked a strange question.


    Yue Zhishi was obviously stupefied by his question, staring at Song Yu as he tried to think of the answer.


    After he¡¯d entered into Guiyuan Temple, his only thought was to find a talisman. He¡¯d circled around and around before he finally found one ¡ª there had been so many people, so he¡¯d simply lined up and waited for his turn. As to which bodhisattva¡­


    He couldn¡¯t quite remember. Yue Zhishi frowned and seemingly seriously accused, ¡°All bodhisattvas are celestial beings, how can you be picky?¡±


    Song Yu silently sighed.


    He was seriously starting to suspect Yue Zhishi was actually Lin Rong¡¯s true son, and he himself was the one who¡¯d been brought back home.


    Not much longer, Yue Zhishi opened his mouth again. ¡°Ah, I remember. I prayed to a double-sided Guanyin.¡± His eyes glowed, his facial expression looking as if he was saying, isn¡¯t that amazing, I prayed to Guanyin, and a double-sided one too.


    Song Yu nodded and, in front of Yue Zhishi, tucked the talisman into the bag he¡¯ll bring to the exam tomorrow, placing it with his identity tag.


    Yue Zhishi quickly pulled out the two fortune sticks he¡¯d also received while Song Yu had his head lowered. The stick referring him to Monk Futuo Mido was given to Song Yu, and he very solemnly said, this was requested for him.


    ¡°This is mine?¡± Song Yu looked at the words written on the stick.


    [There is a happy Buddha in the west, continue forward and smile at the world. You will be healthy and strong no matter what path you take, no troubles to deter you from anything you wish to do.]


    It didn¡¯t look like his no matter how he read it.


    Yue Zhishi nodded. ¡°Yes, there was an expert next to me when I prayed. He told me this is a very high luck stick and is especially favourable. He even said this poem meant that the person who got the stick was compassionate and kind, and will never have any worries. He¡¯ll have a bright and beautiful future, and everything will go smoothly. No matter what he wishes for, it¡¯ll come true.


    Everything he wished for will come true.


    It sounded even less like him after Yue Zhishi¡¯s explanation.


    Song Yu glanced at him, seeing the other stick in his hand. He hadn¡¯t even said anything when Yue Zhishi noticed and immediately held it tighter, explaining, ¡°This is mine.¡±


    Song Yu stretched out a hand. ¡°Let me see.¡±


    After he looked at it, the stick was better than Song Yu imagined, referring to Monk Guanshen. He¡¯d thought it would be a very low luck fortune stick.


    [It is ominous for a fish to see the abyss, hidden wisdom will bring disaster. The world is wide, throw away your worries and let nature run its course.]


    ¡°This isn¡¯t a high luck stick, but it¡¯s not that bad either.¡± Yue Zhishi wanted to take it back, but Song Yu wasn¡¯t planning on giving it to him and asked for his explanation. Yue Zhishi could only say simply, ¡°Just, let things happen the way they¡¯re meant to happen.¡±


    In order to prove these things really were true, he added, ¡°It¡¯s true, I recently felt like my studies weren¡¯t improving and was really nervous. It looks like this bodhisattva is telling me to stop being so anxious and to let my fate be determined by the heavens.¡±


    Hearing this kind of explanation, Song Yu actually crooked the corners of his mouth, looking as if he was smiling. He gave the stick back to Yue Zhishi and told him to listen to the heavens and go to sleep.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t push to stay this time. He knew he couldn¡¯t keep bothering Song Yu and was also worried he¡¯d accidentally let something slip, so he left very quickly.


    Song Yu sat at his desk once the door closed, glancing at the red protective talisman inside his transparent identity tag and gazing at the fortune stick in his hand. It felt like the words written on it were giving him a hint, tapping and foreshadowing something.


    It was an unlucky thing for a fish to see clearly in the deep sea. Those who can see others¡¯ private thoughts will bring disaster to themselves ¡ª the smarter one was, the easier it was to sink and disappear into the mud. Only those who allow themselves to relax, to place down all those self-imposed worries, and let things happen naturally could continue to walk ahead.


    Song Yu abruptly realised: Yue Zhishi was the one who¡¯d went to a temple, and yet he was the one who believed in these mystical teachings. Yue Zhishi was the one who¡¯d prayed for the fortune sticks, and it was once again only himself who cared about the sticks¡¯ explanations.


    It was because Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t lost, wasn¡¯t worried. He wasn¡¯t a follower trapped in misery in urgent need of enlightenment ¡ª he only cared about being able to gift Song Yu a high luck stick.


    Even if there was only one, Yue Zhishi would still happily replace it and give him the best one.


    Now that he understood this, Song Yu felt like there was even less chance of curing himself.


    The author has something to say:


    Le Le darling is the world¡¯s most obedient little puppy 5555

 CH 34

    Chapter 34: Graduation Memento


    Yue Zhishi suspected that when he prayed for the protective talisman, someone else prayed for rain.


    In June, Jiang City¡¯s rainfall was pretty much measured by the East Lake. Locals would always say: it rained several East Lakes again today. Just by measuring with his eyes, Yue Zhishi conservatively guessed that at least six lakes rained over the two days of college entrance exams. Six was a good number ¡ª gege¡¯s exams must have definitely gone well.


    Song Yu¡¯s exam venue was in a very low area of the city, and the water flooded the area until the sunken sports ground almost became a lake. Yue Zhishi sat in Lin Rong¡¯s car, watching the time. There were less than five minutes remaining.


    The rain ran heavily down the car windows. Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t see the outside clearly, so he secretly lowered the window a bit. Parents blocked the school entrance with their umbrellas, and the rain poured through the crack in the window, wetting Yue Zhishi¡¯s hair.


    Not long after, he saw a tall figure carrying an umbrella in the distance, and it weaved through the packed crowd of parents to walk in their direction.


    ¡°Gege¡¯s coming.¡± Yue Zhishi opened the car door as soon as he finished speaking and waved at Song Yu. The heavy rain easily entered the car, and Yue Zhishi, who was only wearing a short-sleeved shirt, shivered.


    Song Yu clearly walked a bit faster and bent over to enter the car. He closed the door, locking the rain outside.


    The seats were all covered by Yue Zhishi¡¯s study materials, so he hurriedly cleared them away to make room for Song Yu.


    ¡°Your dad¡¯s still in a meeting.¡± Lin Rong pulled out a neatly folded dry towel from her large tote bag and handed it over to Song Yu. ¡°We¡¯ll meet up with him later at dinner. What do you want to eat?¡± Even though she asked, she knew there was an eighty percent chance Song Yu would say he didn¡¯t care.


    Song Yu placed the drenched umbrella at his feet. ¡°Let¡¯s get crayfish.¡±


    Hearing this, Yue Zhishi was happier than anyone else. ¡°I want to eat crayfish too.¡±


    Lin Rong was a bit surprised ¡ª she didn¡¯t think Song Yu would want to eat that. ¡°Okay, then I¡¯ll let your dad know.¡±


    They drove to the restaurant, the rain growing heavier until it even started to thunder. Yue Zhishi¡¯s fear of thunder could be entirely seen by his physical reaction: they had just heard the bang of thunder when he started to tremble. This habit wasn¡¯t too bad when he was younger, but it embarrassed him after growing up. He tried his best to hold himself back from trembling. Everyone was originally chatting in the car, but because Yue Zhishi was too afraid, he¡¯d already left the conversation topic.


    Song Yu was aware of this, so he pulled out his exam bag and put it in between them, murmuring, ¡°The thing you gave me was really useful.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was very quickly distracted. He turned his head to look at Song Yu¡¯s face and very quietly asked, ¡°Really? Do you think your exams went well?¡±


    Song Yu nodded.


    Yue Zhishi very quickly cheered up, but it didn¡¯t last very long. A peal of thunder struck right as he opened his mouth, and he shuddered again, his voice slightly trembling. ¡°That¡¯s really good¡­.¡±


    Song Yu felt he looked a bit cute like this. He lowered his eyes and leaned back into his seat.


    Yue Zhishi put on a pair of over-ear headphones and played some rock music, and then he picked up the big bag he¡¯d placed in the corner, placing it onto the left side of his seat. He turned around half his body and started to dig into it, searching for something with almost his entire body.


    He first pulled out a small purple bento box and put it directly onto Song Yu¡¯s leg after he turned back around. He very quickly flipped back to his bag and grabbed a bottle of soda water, giving this also to Song Yu.


    He never stopped moving and kept silent the entire time, as if he was a very busy mime actor. Song Yu opened the bento box ¡ª pieces of mango and strawberry and peeled grapes and lychees rested inside with some sparkling sugar syrup drizzled on top. It all looked very delicious.


    Yue Zhishi turned back to him and handed him a fork. Very loud music came from his headphones, and he looked like he¡¯d forgotten other people could hear him speak. He pantomimed cutting the pieces of fruit, and then finally pointed at himself.


    As they waited for the red light to turn green, Lin Rong happened to see them eating the fruit. ¡°Le Le prepared that. Look at how attentive he was, he even removed the grape seeds.¡±


    Song Yu ate a grape ¡ª it was very sweet. Yue Zhishi also held onto another small fork, piercing a piece of mango and stuffing it into his mouth. He then speared a piece of lychee, leaned forward and sent it to Lin Rong¡¯s mouth.


    The three of them shared the little box of fruit, with Yue Zhishi eating the most to the point he started to worry about his appetite when they finally sat down in the restaurant. Song Jin arrived as the first courses of entrees were being served, his button up shirt slightly damp and him looking like he¡¯d rushed over. Lin Rong kindly took out a silk handkerchief from her bag for him to use.


    When the crayfish arrived, Yue Zhishi abruptly remembered ¡ª they had also eaten crayfish when gege finished his high school exams. He felt something like a sense of ritual, and this made him feel slightly better.


    He was looking forward to Song Yu peeling the crayfish for him like he did three years ago, but because the motherly figure of Lin Rong was there, there was no problem at all with Yue Zhishi¡¯s supply of crayfish meat. It didn¡¯t need to wait for Song Yu¡¯s peeled crayfish.


    Everyone wasn¡¯t too worried about Song Yu¡¯s grades. They enthusiastically planned their upcoming family holiday after Yue Zhishi¡¯s high school exams, with Song Jin suggesting a trip to Europe while Lin Rong preferred Egypt. The two of them listed out the advantages for their respective choices for Song Yu to decide, but he said he wanted to go to Japan.


    Yue Zhishi stuffed a grape tomato into his mouth, the juice exploding in his mouth after he bit into it. His entire being felt like that after hearing Song Yu¡¯s suggestion.


    He repeatedly nodded, swallowing the tomato. ¡°I want to go to Japan too. I want to go to Akihabara.¡±


    What cultural heritage, what beautiful scenery ¡ª they all failed in the face of the Song family¡¯s two youngest members¡¯ wishes. Having decided on the location, Song Jin called his assistant to book travel tickets and hotel reservations. The entire family hotly discussed the upcoming itinerary, and only Song Yu, who¡¯d proposed the country, kept silent.


    They didn¡¯t stay outside too long after finishing their food, since Yue Zhishi still needed to continue his studies. After returning home, Yue Zhishi reviewed his wrong answers until midnight. He was slightly dozing off when his phone vibrated twice, startling him awake, and he glanced at it to see a message from Jiang Yufan asking him how to do a particular question.


    Yue Zhishi had coincidentally just reviewed a similar question, so he very quickly flipped to the wrong question and took a photo of it before sending it across.


    The group chat for their class was always very lively. Yue Zhishi had never participated in it, but he  pressed it open as he left his chat with Jiang Yufan. He scrolled through the chat history and realised everyone was kicking up a fuss ¡ª a girl from class 7 had gifted her name badge to a boy in their class. Someone had seen it and started joking about it in the group chat, saying that boy was no longer single.


    [I heard you two grew up together? Lived right across from each other?]


    [This is completely like a fictional plot]


    [When can I start a sweet, sweet early dating relationship¡­]


    Yue Zhishi was a bit confused, so he exited the chat to ask Jiang Yufan.


    [Le Le: What does giving a name badge mean?]


    Jiang Yufan hadn¡¯t immediately replied when he¡¯d sent over the question earlier, so Yue Zhishi had thought he¡¯d fallen asleep. He didn¡¯t expect Jiang Yufan to reply so excitedly at this topic.


    [Fan Zi: Isn¡¯t your name on the name badge? In our school, from a very long time ago, giving away your name badge to someone else at graduation meant that person¡¯s very important to you. People might also ask for other people¡¯s badges, and it¡¯s a good sign if they can get it. If the other person refuses to give away their badge, then that means ¡°I don¡¯t like you at all.¡±]


    So Peiya had a tradition like this. Yue Zhishi stared at his phone screen for a while and then asked a question Jiang Yufan found really strange.


    [Can guys give their badges to other guys?]


    A moment later, Jiang Yufan replied, [There¡¯s no rule saying you can¡¯t. What, don¡¯t tell me you¡¯re going to give it to me, don¡¯t give me something so precious. A basketball¡¯s enough.]


    Yue Zhishi was amused and responded with a sticker.


    He was still a bit sleepy. He wanted to drink something cold, so he went downstairs by himself.


    It was very late, downstairs completely pitch black. Too lazy to turn on the lights, he stuck to the walls and groped his way into the kitchen to open the fridge, grabbing out some iced kiwi juice. He drank a cup of the sour juice, the chill shocking awake his brain. He poured another cup and went back upstairs with it in his hand.


    Song Yu¡¯s door was always tightly shut, but it was slightly cracked open today, revealing a glimmer of light from inside. Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but draw closer, doing something out of his own expectations.


    ¡°You¡¯re still not asleep?¡±


    Song Yu lifted his head and looked at his door when he heard Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice. He saw Yue Zhishi wear a large, cream blue t-shirt and a pair of white shorts, standing at the door holding a glass cup.


    ¡°Why haven¡¯t you gone to bed?¡± Song Yu asked him the same question in return. ¡°You¡¯re not going to school tomorrow?¡±


    ¡°I was just doing some review. Would you like some juice?¡±


    Not hearing a refusal, Yue Zhishi went inside. Song Yu was lying on his bed, watching a new documentary. It looked very old, a foreigner wrapped in heavy clothes standing at the foot of a snowy mountain as he explained something. That area looked very cold, just like this room with the air-conditioning set to a very low temperature.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t directly drink the juice after he took it. He placed the cup onto the drawer next to the bed. All the lights in his room were already turned off, with only the projector¡¯s coldly bluish grey light shining in the room. The light fell onto Song Yu¡¯s face and turned his features even handsomer.


    Yue Zhishi yawned, Song Yu shooing him back to his room, but he sat onto Song Yu¡¯s bed and took off his slippers. ¡°I want to watch this for a while.¡±


    ¡°You won¡¯t like it,¡± Song Yu very directly, very coolly said.


    ¡°I¡¯ll like it.¡±


    If you like it, then I¡¯ll like it.


    Song Yu¡¯s bed was always neatly arranged, the dark grey, striped bedsheets consistently looking cool and not particularly warm. But once they were messed up, the bed quilt pushed aside, his bed became exceptionally soft and comfortable looking.


    Yue Zhishi initially just sat on the side of the bed, but then he later placed his legs on top. A little while later again, Song Yu didn¡¯t even know how, but he¡¯d moved to rest next to him, even carefully covering his own stomach with a corner of the blanket.


    Song Yu wanted to ask why he lay down, but Yue Zhishi turned his face to him, the bridge of his nose and his eyelashes shimmering under the light of the projector. He very softly asked, ¡°Can you give me a pillow to lie on? Gege.¡±


    He always said gege with a voice much softer than his usual voice. He was clearly a boy who¡¯d already changed his voice, but sometimes, his tone would sound a little bit childlike.


    Song Yu gave him a pillow, but told him he must go back to his room to sleep after ten minutes.


    Yue Zhishi agreed very readily and then started to earnestly watch the film. In a little while, he asked which mountain is this, and then in a little more while, he asked why are they climbing towards the top of the mountain, are they trying to survey something? As soon as he started asking more questions, Song Yu felt he was purposefully trying to distract him from remembering the time.


    But he wouldn¡¯t be fooled.


    ¡°You ask a lot of questions.¡±


    Yue Zhishi paused, his eyes focused on the scene in front of him, and slowly blinked before he burrowed his entire person into the blanket until only a pair of eyes could be seen.


    Song Yu knew he was about to start trying to be sneaky, so he started planning on throwing him out of his room. But before he could start scolding, Yue Zhishi explained in a muffled voice, ¡°Your aircon¡¯s too low.¡±


    ¡°You won¡¯t be cold if you go back to your room.¡±


    ¡°Why are you always trying to get rid of me?¡± Yue Zhishi curiously raised his head to look at him, his gaze innocent. He simply wanted to know the answer.


    Song Yu hesitated. ¡°Because I like being by myself.¡±


    Yue Zhishi no longer spoke ¡ª he felt like Song Yu was lying. No one liked being alone. Even if they did, it would only be temporarily.


    Maybe it was because he had yet to find the someone he liked to have around. If that person appeared, he probably wouldn¡¯t be like this ¡ª he would smile, would look forward to that person staying beside him and would even give the things he considered important to her.


    Like that name badge.


    Yue Zhishi thought about Jiang Yufan¡¯s words, and some strange emotions stirred in his heart. Recently, those emotions kept rising in his heart, making him feel uncomfortable. He tilted his head and coincidentally saw a metal name badge placed on the bedside table, and it glowed underneath the projector¡¯s luminous ray of light.


    ¡°Gege.¡± Yue Zhishi took that name badge and held it in the palm of his hand. ¡°Can you give this to me?¡±


    Song Yu frowned. ¡°Why do you want mine?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t you have two?¡± Yue Zhishi tightly held onto it, widening his eyes in plea. ¡°Give me one, as a memento.¡±


    In Song Yu¡¯s eyes, Yue Zhishi currently looked exactly like he was asking for a little dolphin pendant at the aquarium, a toy from the set meal at McDonald¡¯s or to collect cards as he played games. There was no difference.


    Turning his face away, Song Yu set the air-conditioning a bit higher and brought his attention back to the documentary.


    ¡°Up to you.¡±


    How careless. Yue Zhishi thought ¡ª he so easily gave away something other people found precious.


    Yue Zhishi lowered his head to look at the badge resting in his palm and found himself very lucky. If he¡¯d looked for him a bit later asking for the badge, this tiny little thing might¡¯ve already been carelessly given away by Song Yu, especially since so many people liked him.


    But when he imagined someone else keeping this name badge, Yue Zhishi once again appreciated Song Yu¡¯s carelessness.


    He hadn¡¯t needed to beg for it for too long.


    The memento was like a pacifier: the little child was much more peaceful after getting it no matter if they were in the aquarium or in bed. After giving him the badge, Song Yu was able to peacefully finish his documentary episode.


    When the next episode was about to start, his attention turned to the person next to him, and he realised Yue Zhishi was actually asleep. His head was askew, curly hair messy and lips in a slight pout ¡ª he looked truly tired. His chest lightly rose up and down, and yet his hand was clenched around that name badge.


    Song Yu tried calling him awake to get him to go back to his room, but it was useless. Calling him awake with a louder voice or forcefully pushing awake felt very cruel, so he gave up and didn¡¯t do anything else.


    His phone vibrated as Qin Yan sent him a message. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t wake up, but he subtly shifted. Song Yu very quickly took up his phone, and for the first time, went to read his friend¡¯s messages without a single delay.


    [Qin Yan: you¡¯re not coming despite us booking out the internet cafe for a whole night, can¡¯t believe you¡¯re not coming out to party after college exams. handsome guy with social anxiety, what are you doing at home.]


    [Qin Yan: don¡¯t tell me you¡¯re sleeping.]


    The constant vibrations were really annoying, so Song Yu first turned on his phone¡¯s do not disturb mode before replying a single word.


    [Song Yu: Mn.]


    He placed his phone to the side and lowered himself down, laying down in bed, but still making sure to keep a distance between him and Yue Zhishi.


    There was a light smell of kiwi in the blanket, sour yet sweet. Song Yu didn¡¯t drink the juice he¡¯d been given, and yet it felt like he¡¯d already tasted it.


    Dawn was just breaking when Yue Zhishi woke up. He felt he was in a strange place, and yet it was very comfortable ¡ª he slightly opened his eyes and realised he was sleeping while hugging Song Yu¡¯s back, his arms wrapped around Song Yu¡¯s lean waist and cheek resting against his shoulder blades.


    They were both lying on their sides like two bananas that¡¯d been broken away, tightly clinging to each other.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heartbeats suddenly sped up. He took back his hands, forgetting to worry about whether he¡¯d wake Song Yu up. His movements weren¡¯t small, and Song Yu ended up moving.


    He didn¡¯t wake up, but he flipped his body over and pulled into his arms the Yue Zhishi whose heart was beating too quickly. He hugged him as naturally and easily as if he was wrapping his arms around a pillow.


    The shape of their bodies fit together just right. Yue Zhishi¡¯s cheek snuggled into Song Yu¡¯s neck, and their bodies were twined together. His heart violently jumped, as if it wanted to burst through his chest and jump into Song Yu¡¯s chest which was very close by.


    The projector hadn¡¯t been turned off the entire night, the documentary unexpectedly that long.


    Just like the flow of time at this current moment.


    The school asked the high school year three students to return to school and clean their desks the day after college exams finished. Song Yu¡¯s alarm was the same as before the exams, ringing at 6am. He peeled open his eyes and turned it off with some difficulty, his bed empty. He¡¯d initially wanted to continue sleeping for a bit, but he thought for a while and forced himself to get out of bed.


    The projector was turned off, and the full cup of juice sitting on the nearby drawer had also disappeared without leaving behind a single trace.


    He was bent over folding the blanket when something fell out and hit the floor. Song Yu glanced at  ¡ª it was his name badge, so he bent over again to pick it up.


    He said all the right things when he wanted it, and yet he didn¡¯t look after it after he got it.


    The door was abruptly shoved open, and a flustered Yue Zhishi came in, looking like he was in a very big hurry. He swallowed and said, ¡°I, I left something.¡±


    Song Yu pretended to not know anything, turning around and asking, ¡°What?¡±


    Yue Zhishi really was in a rush. He dashed straight to the bed Song Yu had just made, and even though he made it very messy, Song Yu was unusually calm and not even the slightest bit angry. He actually felt a little bit pleased. He waited until he realised Yue Zhishi was truly panicking, and then he held it out. ¡°It¡¯s here.¡±


    Yue Zhishi very obviously relaxed after looking into the palm of Song Yu¡¯s hand. He took the item back.


    ¡°You lost it so quickly. Looks like you didn¡¯t really need it.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want Song Yu to know how agitated he¡¯d been when he slipped out earlier, so he   tranquilly accepted Song Yu¡¯s sarcastic remark. He very obediently said, ¡°I won¡¯t lose it again.¡± In order to prove himself, he immediately pinned the badge onto his uniform, right next to his own, and then flew out the door to head to his morning self study session.


    Song Yu turned around, stared at the bed Yue Zhishi messed up, and after looking at it for a while, decided not to make it again. He went downstairs for breakfast.


    Lin Rong made kiwi juice again, and thinking Song Yu might not like it, didn¡¯t pour him a cup. She didn¡¯t expect Song Yu to ask for it out of his volition and even drink an extra serving.


    ¡°It¡¯s pretty nice.¡± Song Yu praised Lin Rong¡¯s handmade drinks for the first time, and this made her particularly happy.


    The high school year students returned back to school with an air of relaxation that infected even the security guards at the school entrance. Those who used to make things difficult for students looked kind and amiable today. ¡®We¡¯ve graduated¡¯ was scrawled on the blackboard in the classroom, and Song Yu took a brief look at it when he entered the room, the reality of it not yet hitting him.


    The classroom was very rowdy, all of his surrounding classmates animatedly planning their holidays. The class monitor, holding the class roster, went around and got everyone to separately confirm whether they were attending the gratitude dinner party for their teachers. In order to reduce the workload of the cleaning staff, the school had strongly prohibited the celebratory tearing of books a long time ago ¡ª even though in reality, there weren¡¯t that many students who truly did want to shred their books.


    Many people immediately took all their books and started to sell them.


    The bags of books they lugged out one by one were the heavy, yet youthful hearts they¡¯d strained for so many days.


    Qin Yan had arrived earlier and had pretty much finished clearing all of his things. He nonchalantly grabbed a chair and sat next to Song Yu. ¡°I¡¯ll help you?¡±


    Song Yu shook his head, saying he was fine.


    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you let auntie come with you? My dad just left with all my stuff.¡± Qin Yan held onto Song Yu¡¯s shoulder. ¡°What a good friend I am to stay back with you.¡±


    Song Yu was too lazy to put on a comedic show with him and silently packed away his study materials. There was some noise at the classroom door, and Qin Yan bumped Song Yu¡¯s shoulder once, hinting at him to raise his head. Song Yu drew his eyebrows together when he saw quite a few girls with one leading the way. The rest of the girls followed her in.


    ¡°It¡¯s a pretty lady.¡±


    Song Yu looked at Qin Yan. ¡°Where.¡±


    Qin Yan, ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    The girl right in the centre was very beautiful. She had a heavy sweep of long, jet-black hair and was slightly shy. The rest of the girls surrounding her almost had to push her in with them. Qin Yan whispered she was the year flower in high school year two. Song Yu knew nothing about year two, let alone who the year flower was, and only thought she looked just like Qin Yan¡¯s type.


    That morning as soon as he arrived at school, even before he¡¯d gone up to his classroom, Song Yu had already been intercepted by a girl with a ponytail. She smiled very brightly and very confidently and had said lines similar to those in a campus romance drama. Song Yu kept his distance and listened to it all, before he rejected her graduation gift and confession.


    She¡¯d fairly stubbornly asked the reason for his refusal, but Song Yu had said there was no real reason and continued upstairs.


    But after he managed to escape from her, he¡¯d paused at the entry to the third floor corridor, silently standing there for a while.


    The few girls who¡¯d just came in were even more eye-catching than the one earlier that morning. There were already a lot of people in the classroom packing away their things, and seeing this scene, they all started to follow along and create a fuss.


    Even though Qin Yan looked a bit scatterbrained, in reality, he was someone who knew what was truly acceptable. He was usually all noisy and disorderly in front of Song Yu, randomly teasing this facially paralysed guy, but at this moment, he didn¡¯t make a single noise, only leaning over to help Song Yu take out his books from inside his desk.


    ¡°What¡¯s this, it¡¯s so big.¡± Qin Yan forcefully pulled out the handmade sketchbook Song Yu had previously stuffed at the very bottom. He flipped through it. ¡°It¡¯s just white paper.¡±


    Song Yu doubtfully looked at him. At seeing the sketchbook, his first reaction was to grab it back. ¡°You can¡¯t throw this away.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t say I was going to throw it away?¡± Qin Yan found it strange how tense he was, as if it was something very important. But there was nothing in it at all, not even a name ¡ª it looked brand new.


    ¡°Is this one of those gravure photo albums? Leather cover too, must¡¯ve been super expensive. Is it¡­¡±


    ¡°Shut up.¡±


    Class 9¡¯s year flower was pushed all the way to the front of Song Yu¡¯s desk, an exquisite gift bag from a luxury brand in her hands. It was like Song Yu didn¡¯t hear the commotion at all, focusing exclusively on tidying.


    The year flower herself didn¡¯t speak. Next to her, her friend spoke first. ¡°Song Yu, our Yaoyao has something to say to you.¡± She then pushed the girl called Yaoyao again, urging her to speak.


    At this point, Qin Yan started to feel embarrassed for them.


    ¡°Senior Song Yu, I¡¯ve liked you for a very long time,¡± the girl called Yaoyao shyly said. She held out the gift bag in her hands. ¡°I searched for a gift for a very long time, I hope you like it. Before¡­ before you are still studying for the exams, so I didn¡¯t dare speak out in case I disturbed you. But now that you¡¯re graduating from Peiya, I might not have anymore chances if I don¡¯t say it now.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t reach out and accept the gift. The rest of the classroom was quietly observing and gossiping, and this made her friends very unsatisfied.


    Yaoyao didn¡¯t really mind. She plucked up her courage and asked again, ¡°If you don¡¯t mind, can we give it a try?¡±


    Song Yu had tidied up half of his things when he saw a box sitting inside his drawer. It was the box Yue Zhishi had made last time for his hand-painted plaster patches. Compared to the gift bag in the girl¡¯s hands, this box looked much more childish and inexpensive, but Song Yu gazed at it for a very long time.


    Seeing him in a daze, Yaoyao¡¯s friend picked up the gift bag in her hands and placed it on top of Song Yu¡¯s desk. ¡°I¡¯ll leave it here. It¡¯s fine as long as you¡¯ve given it out, it¡¯s up to him how he wants to deal with it.¡±


    Qin Yan almost rolled his eyes at her words. She didn¡¯t sound like a pig teammate.


    But Song Yu remained without any expressions on his face, only separating the box Yue Zhishi made from his other things and placing it into his bag. He didn¡¯t raise his head, but he finally opened his mouth.


    ¡°I suggest not leaving it on my desk. It might be taken away by the cleaning lady.¡±


    The other girl was clearly made speechless by his words, and traces of humiliation appeared on Yaoyao¡¯s face. But she, as well as every single person who¡¯d confessed to Song Yu, had already long prepared her heart, so she tried again. ¡°Senior.¡± She looked at the paper box with all of the things Song Yu had cleared away. ¡°Are you taking these away? If possible, can you give me some of your notes? And, your name badge¡­¡±


    ¡°I have a little brother at home.¡± Song Yu interrupted. He lifted a paper box from the floor, placed it on to his desk and looked at her.


    ¡°I¡¯m leaving all of my things to him.¡±

 CH 35

    Chapter 35: Forced Education


    Song Yu¡¯s life after college entrance exams wasn¡¯t much richer than before.


    He still woke up early every day and carried his schoolbag to the library to stay there for the entire day. He returned back home for dinner, and when he had nothing to do at night, he would play games in his room. He didn¡¯t live at all like an eighteen year old boy.


    A fifteen year old boy¡¯s interests and hobbies clearly ranged much wider, but Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t have the time to enjoy his life, his time all squeezed into studying. The high school entrance exams were inching closer, and the usually calm Yue Zhishi was also caught into everyone else¡¯s tension and nervousness.


    The Song family was much more nervous about his entrance exams than compared to Song Yu¡¯s exams. In order to send him off well, a few days before the actual exams, Lin Rong familiarised herself with the way to the exam centre and plotted out the food menu for the few days of the exams, worried Yue Zhishi would get an allergic reaction or have an upset stomach.


    Song Yu grudgingly finished all the food as Lin Rong experimented with the menu. His role as her true born son was to be a free lab rat for her younger son, and he wasn¡¯t allowed to resist.


    The night before his exams, Yue Zhishi was released from school early. Lin Rong gave him a long list of things he needed to double check and told him he needed to follow the checklist one by one after he finished dinner, just in case he forgot to bring something. Yue Zhishi felt they were going a bit overboard, but even Song Jin, who was usually quite relaxed, felt this kind of worry was to be expected.


    In the entire family, only Song Yu appeared to not care about Yue Zhishi¡¯s exams.


    This sharp contrast made Yue Zhishi a bit frustrated.


    He felt like Song Yu didn¡¯t care about him the way Yue Zhishi cared about him.


    He was shooed upstairs to shower by Lin Rong after dinner. ¡°You have to sleep early tonight, okay? It¡¯s not a joke if you don¡¯t sleep well.¡±


    Yue Zhishi stood up, nodding, and prepared to go upstairs when he heard Lin Rong tease Song Yu, ¡°Xiao Yu, why are you going to the library every day? You¡¯re not going on a date with a girl you like, right?¡±


    Song Yu said with his face devoid of any expression, ¡°You can follow me.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not interesting at all.¡± Lin Rong placed the bowls and chopsticks into the dishwasher. ¡°I¡¯m just curious, you¡¯re an adult now. You really didn¡¯t like anyone during all those years at school?¡±


    Song Yu stayed silent, but his face showed traces of disdain at her curious gossiping.


    Lin Rong automatically took his silence as denial, so she said, sighing, ¡°You¡¯re not like me at all. I started liking boys since elementary school.¡±


    Yue Zhishi dragged his feet up the stairs into his room, the pyjamas Lin Rong had washed for him lying on his bed.


    He didn¡¯t know why, but the two questions Lin Rong asked Song Yu kept echoing in his head. A bit absentmindedly, he went into the bathroom, took off his clothes and showered, the water running down from his head and wetting his hair and eyelashes. Everything in front of his eyes was hazy ¡ª sometimes it¡¯d be white, sometimes grey, and then he imagined a scene where Song Yu met a girl in the library. The plot he imagined was very standard: the two of them just happened to see each other in between the gaps in a bookshelf, just happened to like the exact same book and then just happened to reach out at the same time to get that book.


    That kind of plot line seemed to often appear in shoujo manga, but Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t like shoujo.


    He also didn¡¯t like the girl who impelled Song Yu to go to the library, even if she didn¡¯t exist.


    This slightly nasty way of thinking had appeared for just one moment when it shattered at the sound of knocking at the door, his thoughts vanishing into thin air. Yue Zhishi wiped his face and turned off the water.


    ¡°Who¡¯s it?¡±


    ¡°Me.¡± It was Song Yu¡¯s voice. ¡°Are you showering? Then I¡¯ll come back in a bit.¡±


    ¡°I just finished!¡±


    Yue Zhishi swiftly dried off the water on his body and carelessly rubbed his hair a few times. He left the shower area and realised his pyjamas weren¡¯t in the dry zone.


    He usually placed his clothes on the shelf.


    Song Yu waited outside. Suddenly, the bathroom door slightly opened, and he thought Yue Zhishi was coming out. But a pale hand, still warm and steamy, extended from the crack in the door. Song Yu couldn¡¯t help but walk over to see what he wanted, and just as he reached the door, Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand grabbed onto the bottom of his shirt.


    The accuracy of Yue Zhishi¡¯s grab was as if his hand was a robotic hand in a gold mine searching for stones, each lunge heading directly to a piece of gold. He pulled Song Yu¡¯s shirt once, realised it didn¡¯t feel right and immediately let go, hand retreating back behind the door.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    ¡°I¡­..¡± Yue Zhishi hid behind the crack in the door, showing only his eyes, damp neck and half of his collarbones. ¡°I forgot my clothes. Are they on the rack in front of the door?¡±


    Song Yu pulled back his line of sight and slowly looked around him. ¡°No.¡±


    Yue Zhishi suddenly remembered. ¡°They¡¯re on my bed! Can you help me get them, gege?¡±


    Song Yu went and grabbed his clothes, and then he stood next to Yue Zhishi¡¯s desk, waiting for him to come out after putting on his clothes.


    Having just showered, Yue Zhishi¡¯s entire body was emitting soft swirls of steam, his hair still slightly damp. He ran out of the bathroom with bare feet. As he stepped on the floor, he was shorter than Song Yu by only a head, and yet Song Yu always felt there was a natural innocence about him.


    He knew people usually entered social interactions based on their expectations of others; these expectations were based off what they imagined others to be, meaningless personality traits such as kindness, elegance and candour subjectively endowed upon them.


    He knew this, and yet he continued to insist that Yue Zhishi was innocent.


    ¡°Are you looking for me for something?¡± Yue Zhishi slightly lifted up his face and looked at him. Droplets of water still hung from his lashes like the morning dew hanging on the tips of leaves.


    Only then did Song Yu remember what he came for ¡ª he walked to the door and brought in the little paper box he¡¯d left outside, placing it onto the floor next to Yue Zhishi. ¡°These are all things I organised after graduating. There are some notes that might be useful for you to keep.¡± He then looked down and pulled out two items from his pocket to give to Yue Zhishi. One was the protective talisman Yue Zhishi had prayed for and given to him, and the other was a pen.


    ¡°This is the pen I use most. It writes really well, you can bring it as a backup pen.¡± Song Yu told him to rest early after his simple explanation. He turned around, about to leave, but Yue Zhishi called out to him.


    ¡°What is this?¡±


    Song Yu looked over his shoulder. Yue Zhishi was kneeling on the floor, the handmade sketchbook in his hand and head tilted towards him in question.


    ¡°That¡­ I bought it a while ago. I bought it in an accident and haven¡¯t used it.¡±


    ¡°Where¡¯d you buy it? The sketch paper is such high quality! Are you really giving it to me?¡± Yue Zhishi hugged the sketchbook as he stood back up.


    Song Yu stiffly made a noise in affirmation and then left.


    Yue Zhishi always felt Song Yu¡¯s behaviour was a bit familiar.


    He was just like Orange, who would reluctantly grumble and always pretend to dislike being petted despite clearly enjoying it.


    One of Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand held onto the sketchbook, while his other hand clasped the protective talisman and pen. He looked down ¡ª the front side of the protective talisman looked the same as when he¡¯d initially given it out, but after flipping it over, he noticed a row of words in Song Yu¡¯s neat handwriting.


    ¡°May you always be successful,¡± he softly recited.


    He¡¯d thought it would be something like good luck on your exams.


    But not only did Song Yu wish for his exams to go well, he hoped for Yue Zhishi to achieve everything he wanted.


    Holding onto Song Yu¡¯s many little hidden thoughts and prayers, Yue Zhishi fell onto his soft bed, his heart full and content.


    A small piece of his heart steadied.


    When it was finally time for his exams, Yue Zhishi was even more relaxed than he imagined he¡¯d be. The exam questions weren¡¯t as complicated as the questions on the mock exams, and even though math was slightly difficult, he progressed very well, the final two major questions similar to those he¡¯d previously completed incorrectly and had been forced to review. Song Yu had also taught him how to do those two questions before, and they¡¯d left a very strong impression on Yue Zhishi.


    Most importantly, the pen Song Yu gave him played a huge role in his exams. His own pens didn¡¯t work well, the ink not flowing smoothly. They were all newly purchased, so it was highly likely he¡¯d bought a batch of bad quality pens.


    Luckily, he had Song Yu¡¯s pen.


    As he finished his exams one after another, Yue Zhishi cheerfully felt he was doing quite well, and when he reached his final exam, he checked over his work again and again until the very last second.


    The hot sun was high and bright in the sky when Yue Zhishi finally left the exam venue. Lin Rong saw him come out, and she went to walk with him back to the car, shielded by her umbrella.


    ¡°It¡¯s hot, isn¡¯t it darling. Quickly head in and cool down.¡±


    Yue Zhishi opened the car door, not expecting to also see Song Yu. In such a hot day, he wouldn¡¯t have even dreamed of Song Yu coming to pick him up.


    ¡°Song Yu gege, how come you¡¯re here?¡±


    The tone of his voice exposed his complete and utter delight. Song Jin was sitting in the driver¡¯s seat, and he joked, ¡°Everything must be a coincidence today. I was meant to be signing a contract right now, but the other side had something urgent come up and pushed the signing earlier. Xiao Yu also just said something was happening at the library, so he didn¡¯t go this afternoon.¡±


    Song Yu, for the first time, decided to explain his actions without being prompted. ¡°Renovation. They¡¯re only allowing people to borrow books.¡±


    This was a fantastic piece of good news to Yue Zhishi, who was never suspicious of good news. But in this case, the good news was followed by a piece of bad news.


    ¡°We can¡¯t go to Japan anymore?¡± Yue Zhishi deflated into his seat. ¡°But I already had an attack strategy of where to go. ¡±


    He¡¯d already planned out the restaurants and official merchandise stores he¡¯d go to together with gege.


    As well as the Mount Fuji gege would¡¯ve really liked.


    They all disappeared.


    Lin Rong leaned back against her seat as listlessly as he did and sighed. ¡°Who would¡¯ve thought there would be a typhoon warning? And for such a long period of time, too.¡±


    Song Jin chided them. ¡°Safety comes first, safety comes first.¡±


    Because of the temporary cancellation of their Japan holiday, Yue Zhishi was in low spirits for a while. The third day after finishing his exams, his classmates organised a dinner and karaoke party. Yue Zhishi was originally not interested in going, but Jiang Yufan called him two hours before the planned meeting time.


    ¡°One Piece merchandise? The limited edition one? Really?¡± Yue Zhishi was thrilled and ate a big piece of watermelon, fed by Lin Rong.


    ¡°Then I¡¯ll go too. Wait for me.¡± Yue Zhishi hung up the phone and happily ran up the stairs. He carried a basketball when he finally came down ¡ª it was the present he¡¯d prepared a long time ago to gift to Jiang Yufan.


    ¡°Are you going to play basketball?¡± Lin Rong asked.


    ¡°This is my graduation gift to Jiang Yufan. I¡¯ll give it to him when I see him later at the dinner party.¡± Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t resist bragging, ¡°Jiang Yufan bought me a limited edition piece of merchandise I¡¯ve been wanting for a while. I was planning on buying it myself when we got to Japan.¡±


    Using a spoon, Lin Rong slowly scooped out a large bowl¡¯s worth of watermelon flesh. ¡°That¡¯s so nice of him. You should invite Xiao Fan over for dinner soon.¡±


    Song Yu came out of his room half an hour after Yue Zhishi left. Lin Rong was about to carry up the now cooled watermelon to give to him, and the two of them saw each other at the stairs.


    ¡°Just in time. Come down and have some watermelon.¡± Lin Rong pulled him to the dining room and started to scold him. ¡°You¡¯re always hiding in your room every day. Look, even your brother¡¯s gone out to his classmates¡¯ dinner party.¡±


    Song Yu raised his head, glancing at the time. ¡°Dinner party? Where?¡±


    Every time he left the house, Yue Zhishi would report when and where he was going to his family, and this time was no exception. Lin Rong told Song Yu the location, and Song Yu¡¯s only thought was that it sounded a bit familiar.


    The dinner party was held at a 24 hour karaoke bar with a dinner buffet. Yue Zhishi arrived later than most people, and by then, everyone had already started to freely eat and drink.


    ¡°Le Le¡¯s here!¡±


    ¡°Le Le come here, sit over here.¡±


    The majority of junior high boys and girls matured early these days ¡ª even though they were in an enormous room, everyone sat apart, the girls clustered together with their friends and the boys crowded into the corners. The room was a bit dim, the light not quite enough, and Yue Zhishi carefully walked into the room to meet up with Jiang Yufan.


    Seeing Yue Zhishi truly carrying a basketball, Jiang Yufan felt everything was worth it and pulled Yue Zhishi next to him to give him his present. The surrounding male classmates looked on and were highly envious.


    ¡°Your relationship¡¯s so good.¡±


    ¡°This basketball¡¯s not bad, let¡¯s go play some rounds after this.¡±


    Yue Zhishi actually didn¡¯t really like places like karaoke bars. They tended to be very noisy, and whenever parties were held in one of them, everyone tended to turn rowdy and make jokes Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t enjoy once enough people arrived. But Jiang Yufan was also there, and his new merchandise was truly very well-made. Using the light from the big karaoke machine screen, Yue Zhishi earnestly inspected his new gift, to the point he didn¡¯t hear Jiang Yufan tell him he was going to the toilet.


    There were two, three boys in their class who had matured very early, each of them dating, smoking and getting into fights. They couldn¡¯t be more familiar with karaoke bars. Yue Zhishi was a bit hungry, so he ate a piece of apple from Jiang Yufan¡¯s food tray. He¡¯d just chewed twice when he saw those boys heading towards him.


    ¡°Le Le, you¡¯ve arrived. How come you¡¯re not singing?¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head, vaguely explaining he wasn¡¯t a good singer. The boys were all holding cups, and they jostled aside the people sitting next to Yue Zhishi before sitting down. One of them was even holding a cigarette, a red dot clearly burning in the dim room.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s throat itched from the smell of cigarette smoke. He tried to cough and clear his throat, but his throat remained uncomfortable.


    ¡°The smell of my cigarette must be choking you.¡± The smoking classmate extinguished his cigarette by stubbing the head into the table. He then clapped his hands together. ¡°Look, your face is all red from coughing.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s throat was still itchy, so he wanted to drink some water. There were many cups on the table, and they all looked exactly the same. He grabbed the cup closest to Jiang Yufan¡¯s food tray, and after drinking a mouthful, realised it wasn¡¯t what he expected. It tasted of alcohol.


    ¡°That¡¯s my beer.¡±


    ¡°Ah?¡± Yue Zhishi hurriedly put the cup down, coughing a few times. ¡°You¡¯re not of age yet, you can¡¯t drink alcohol.¡±


    They all started laughing. Yue Zhishi could tell he was once again being mocked. The boy on his right said, still laughing, ¡°Le Le¡¯s a good child. Don¡¯t smoke or drink in front of him, or else you¡¯ll look like a delinquent.¡±


    ¡°How am I a delinquent, I haven¡¯t even taught him how to do bad things yet. Aren¡¯t you blaming me too early?¡±


    ¡°You can teach him how to jack off.¡±


    As soon as those words left the boy¡¯s mouth, all of the boys surrounding them loudly cracked up. Only Yue Zhishi sat there in confusion ¡ª he didn¡¯t understand what had happened and innocently asked, ¡°What¡¯s jacking off?¡±


    Everyone knew Yue Zhishi was a late bloomer, his natural personality innocent and childish, but no one expected he was innocent to such an extent.


    ¡°Shit, we¡¯re about to start high school. How can you not know what that is!¡±


    ¡°This is too funny. How can there be a guy who doesn¡¯t know what jacking off is?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was a bit unhappy over how much fuss they were making, feeling as if they were looking at him like he was an idiot. He grabbed out his phone. ¡°I¡¯ll just look it up.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t.¡± The boy who was previously smoking grabbed his wrist. ¡°Since we¡¯re bored and have nothing to do, why don¡¯t we give you some sexual education.¡±


    Just like that, Yue Zhishi was kidnapped and brought away.


    They went into an empty room, and the so called sexual education was a boy bringing up a precious, indescribable website as the rest of the boys crowded around him.


    ¡°This one¡¯s good. Her body¡¯s amazing.¡±


    ¡°You little shit, your saved bookmarks are some good stuff.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was watching along, very sincerely hoping to learn, when he realised the reactions of these guys were overly excited ¡ª but the sexually explicit images still gave him a strong visual impact.


    The smoker smacked Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulder and purposefully teased, ¡°Do you find this stimulating?¡±


    Yue Zhishi honestly replied, ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡±


    ¡°Even this isn¡¯t stimulating enough?¡± He shook his head. ¡°Is there something wrong with you?¡±


    He reached out, wanting to touch Yue Zhishi¡¯s bottom half. Yue Zhishi was startled enough that he fell to the right, and in all the confusion, someone¡¯s hand accidentally pressed onto an advertisement. The currently playing video was immediately replaced by another scene, a huge video advertisement playing on the entire screen.


    ¡°Holy shit, who pressed this?¡±


    ¡°Lu Zi, are you a pervert, trying to watch this? I have to stay away from you.¡±


    ¡°Fuck, it really wasn¡¯t me. I don¡¯t know how it turned to this.¡±


    The cell phone screen distracted everyone¡¯s attention. Having gotten some space, Yue Zhishi propped himself up on the sofa, getting a glance at the content playing on the screen. Honestly, the two videos weren¡¯t all that much different. The only difference was that the previous female role was replaced by a man who was very skinny, very pale and didn¡¯t resist.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heartbeat abruptly, rapidly increased. It felt like his face was being pricked by many needles, his whole body electrified.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to die laughing, straight men must fuck other men!¡±


    ¡°Hurry up and go back. I¡¯m all soft now, fuck.¡±


    They all turned away, but the scene stubbornly remained. Yue Zhishi was suddenly hit by a violent coughing fit, his face turning completely red from his coughs. It felt like the little bit of alcohol he¡¯d just drunk was burning its way down his throat, heating up his entire body.


    He pushed away the classmates who¡¯d come up to help him and escaped from the sleazy and unpleasant little room.


    It was such a little bit of beer; it shouldn¡¯t have created such a strong allergic reaction. But he truly was feeling hot, feeling there wasn¡¯t enough air ¡ª so he followed the corridor and ran outside, ran downstairs until he reached the entrance of the karaoke bar. He wanted to breathe some fresh air.


    He didn¡¯t expect to see Song Yu¡¯s figure at the door, standing next to a stopped black car.


    Yue Zhishi thought he was hallucinating, but at that moment, a window on the second floor was pushed open. Qin Yan¡¯s voice came out. ¡°Song Yu, are you still not coming back up? There¡¯s no point in you being down there. It¡¯ll still smell like smoke after you come back.¡±


    Song Yu looked up, but the first thing he saw was Yue Zhishi standing at the door. He told Qin Yan he wouldn¡¯t be coming up for a while and then walked over to Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°How come you¡¯re here?¡± Yue Zhishi asked, standing on final step in front of the door. Song Yu reached him, and because of the step, for the first time, they met each other face to face, eye to eye, without any height difference.


    ¡°Same as you guys. Group activity.¡±


    Song Yu noticed Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t look quite right. With his two hands in his pocket, he leaned forward, face drawing closer as he intently observed him.


    The distance between the tips of their two noses suddenly shrank. Song Yu¡¯s body emitted a very pleasant smell ¡ª the familiar body wash fragrance was mixed with the smell of menthol cigarette smoke that had yet to disappear.


    At such a close distance, Yue Zhishi¡¯s Adam¡¯s apple moved up and down. He forced himself to not overthink.


    ¡°Your face is so red. What have you been doing?¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Gege didn¡¯t smoke, other people were smoking and he didn¡¯t want to bring the smoke back to Le Le.


    Le Le¡¯s classmates don¡¯t know what he¡¯s allergic to ¡ª they didn¡¯t mean for him to drink alcohol on purpose. It was such a small sip, no need to worry.


    I suggest for everyone to read my new novel without comparing it to my other ones (and in the future as well), because I want to always be improving and trying new things. To say it differently ¡ª things I¡¯ve written before I won¡¯t write again. There are so many topics and styles I want to try. Every time I start a new novel, I always have to go through people comparing my new work with my old, and even though I haven¡¯t written all that many, it¡¯s already become a bad habit hhhh


    I¡¯m still going to say the same thing as usual ¡ª read the novel you prefer. There¡¯s not much point in comparing. Even if you say my previous novel was better, I still won¡¯t write something similar again.


    I initially started writing this slice of life novel to adjust myself, because I¡¯m planning on writing a novel focused more on plot next. I wanted to switch things up with a healing slice of life (and another reason was because I wanted to read about childhood sweethearts myself but there were too little options, I had to write it myself hhh). I didn¡¯t expect to find slice of life so hard to write when I was stockpiling chapters. I couldn¡¯t add in too much drama plot points, and I needed to make the lives in the novel read like ¡®real life¡¯, like I was truly showing you moments in their lives. I also needed to establish my characters in such a calm story environment, so as I continued to write, there had to be a dramatic change in my writing style. I want to see myself change; I always want to leave myself with room for improvement.


    So it was very clear, a slice of life novel needed a realistic writing style. It¡¯s not right to have vast, dramatic romance moments or unrestrained fantastical moments in a novel like this. There are many glittering pieces of joy in the small lives of every day people ¡ª life may be ordinary, but as two people grow up together, the tiny details of their journey are also very beautiful.

 CH 36

    Chapter 36: The Awakening of Feelings


    They were too close.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t get the chance to answer Song Yu¡¯s question when guilt and panic pulled his body into retreating, and he stumbled over the higher step behind him, his entire body falling backwards.


    But Song Yu reached out, grabbed his arm and tugged him forward before he could fall. Yue Zhishi was like a wobbly toy without any free will, tilting to and fro, before he finally fell headlong into Song Yu¡¯s arms.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong with you?¡± Song Yu asked, frowning.


    Yue Zhishi extracted himself from his arms without thanking him at all, and then retreated a few times to stand on an even higher step. He spoke a bit unsteadily. ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±


    Song Yu stood in place, gazing steadily at him as if he was trying to decide whether he was speaking the truth.


    Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t acting like he normally did at all. He had no way to explain to his gege why he was acting so differently, so he simply gave up and crouched down. He hid his face in his knees and used another reason to cover up his peculiar behaviour. ¡°I accidentally drank a little bit of someone else¡¯s beer. I feel a bit sick.¡±


    Hearing this, much of the suspicion still lingering in Song Yu¡¯s heart disappeared. He crouched down as well and took Yue Zhishi¡¯s wrist, flipping it over to check if he had any rashes ¡ª none. If Yue Zhishi said it was an accident, then Song Yu would never think otherwise.


    ¡°How much did you drink?¡±


    Still keeping his face buried in his knees, Yue Zhishi shook his head. ¡°Not much, just a sip.¡±


    The wrist Song Yu was holding felt like it was burning, the heat creeping up his arm and into his chest like a snake. A light layer of sweat appeared on his back. He wanted to pull his arm away, but he also wanted to stay in this same position, wanted to continue being held like this ¡ª he even wanted to be hugged again like before.


    Having all these contradictory feelings felt too strange. But when he thought about what he¡¯d just seen in the karaoke bar, Yue Zhishi subconsciously started to panic.


    A certain kind of possibility for himself he¡¯d never thought of extended in front of his eyes, and that possibility was something completely different from everyone else. It was an untimely thought, but he thought of the reactions of all the other boys after they saw the two men together ¡ª all of them, without even thinking about it, openly mocked and ridiculed the video without the slightest hint of trying to cover up their distaste.


    Only he was different.


    Why couldn¡¯t he laugh about it?


    ¡°Go home.¡± Song Yu released his wrist and patted his hand. ¡°Take some allergy meds later.¡±


    Yue Zhishi raised his head, his face now even redder after stuffing it into his knees. ¡°Are you going home too?¡±


    Song Yu nodded at him. ¡°It¡¯s quite boring.¡±


    ¡°Then why¡¯d you come?¡±


    The look on Song Yu¡¯s face slightly shifted. When faced with Yue Zhishi¡¯s uninhibited and straight-forward questions, he¡¯d learned a very long time ago how to change the topic. He stood up by himself. ¡°Are you coming?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± Without hesitating, Yue Zhishi stood up as well, but then he remembered his merchandise was still on the table in the karaoke bar. He told Song Yu he was going to go back and get it.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t say anything, only wordlessly following behind him. The large room for the junior high year three students was at the very end of the first floor, while the high school year three¡¯s room was on the second floor. Song Yu initially hadn¡¯t wanted to go in, but when he thought about the beer Yue Zhishi had accidentally drank, he guessed there should be some students who didn¡¯t really follow rules. He decided to go in with Yue Zhishi.


    As expected, Yue Zhishi caught even more attention when he returned bringing his older brother. The atmosphere in the karaoke bar was obviously very different compared to school, and everyone kicked up a fuss with even more enthusiasm.


    ¡°Yo, Le Le, your brother¡¯s here to take you home?¡±


    ¡°Your family¡¯s so strict.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s face stayed icily still, and he didn¡¯t say a single thing. Yue Zhishi noticed the boys who¡¯d pulled him to watch the video earlier had now returned to this room, and they were now busy singing. He was a bit afraid of being caught by them again, so he rushed to the corner he¡¯d sat in earlier.


    Jiang Yufan was still sitting there, playing a video game with someone, and he looked up at him just as Yue Zhishi arrived. ¡°Hey, you¡¯re back. They said you went to the toilet.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m going home now, my ge¡¯s here.¡± Yue Zhishi grabbed his merchandise. ¡°You should go home soon too.¡±


    Jiang Yufan nodded a few times. ¡°I¡¯ll leave after this round. Come out tomorrow for some basketball.¡±


    ¡°Sure!¡± Yue Zhishi swiftly ran away, worried Song Yu would feel uncomfortable staying here for too long and worried those boys would catch him to do some weird things again.


    Song Yu left the room a bit earlier than he did, his phone vibrating.


    [Qin Yan: handsome guy are you coming back?]


    Head lowered, Song Yu typed a reply.


    [SYU: I¡¯m going home.]


    [Qin Yan: ?? you¡¯re too funny, you didn¡¯t want to come earlier but then you suddenly changed your mind. and then you ran out after staying just for a little bit without singing a single song. while other people are the kings of karaoke, you are the king of standing people up]


    That joke wasn¡¯t really all that funny. Song Yu didn¡¯t smile, and for a moment, he also didn¡¯t know how to respond.


    He too felt his desire to protect was too intense.


    Yue Zhishi came out holding his beloved merchandise and walked towards the bus station with Song Yu. He discovered that many things were like when you couldn¡¯t sleep and lay in bed counting sheep ¡ª the more you counted, the more you couldn¡¯t fall asleep. Right now, the more he told himself not to think about it, the more that video flashed in front of his eyes, making him very unsettled.


    Buses took longer to arrive at night, so they waited, standing shoulder to shoulder. Neither of them said anything, and cars continuously drove past them on the road. Having not eaten dinner, Yue Zhishi¡¯s stomach made a noise, and the air around them turned even more awkward.


    But Song Yu didn¡¯t think it was strange. He told Yue Zhishi to wait there, and then not long after, he came back with a red bean and matcha daifuku and a small container of ice cream, giving them to Yue Zhishi.


    The bus arrived. They got on, only a young man wearing earphones sleeping in the back of the bus. The two of them swiped their cards and sat in the very last row of double seats. Yue Zhishi opened the daifuku, swallowing it in two bites, and opened the ice cream to slowly relish it.


    His attention would always subconsciously shift to his food whenever he ate.


    Song Yu held onto his merchandise for him and looked at it for a little bit. ¡°You went to the dinner party for this?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t try to pretend at all, even saying this was his most desired piece of merchandise. ¡°Actually there was a Naruto one too, but it¡¯s been sold out already. I¡¯m going to stalk Xianyu and see how my luck goes.¡±


    Song Yu soundlessly sighed, thinking there was an actual possibility of Yue Zhishi one day running off with someone just for a piece of anime merchandise.


    The ice cream was also matcha-flavoured. Yue Zhishi thought Song Yu might like it, so he scooped up a little bit on his spoon and placed it next to his mouth only for Song Yu to reject it. Yue Zhishi could only finish it all by himself, and he happily put the empty container into the bag from the convenience store. The ice cream lowered the heat in Yue Zhishi¡¯s body, but some peculiar feelings still remained in his heart.


    He realised he didn¡¯t dare to reflect, to look carefully into what he was feeling ¡ª as if he was afraid he¡¯d learn something.


    The awakening of adolescence was like a restless wisdom tooth slowly preparing to appear: it was hidden in the deepest part of oneself. That kind of existence was faint at best but impossible to ignore, making you always want to lick it, touch it with your tongue. But there was never any clear response.


    Anxiety, curiosity, panic, awe ¡ª all these emotions were buried and waiting in dark and soft flesh, and there was no way for you to have any accurate predictions.


    You wait and look forward to it appearing, and yet you¡¯re also afraid of the aching pain that may arrive at any moment.


    Song Yu sat next to him, having put on his earphones when Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t paying attention. The bus continued swaying forward, and the handsome side of his face was reflected on the window. When neon lights flashed by and across that reflection, it created an almost unreal sense of beauty.


    Yue Zhishi gazed at the glass window, and the kind of curiosity a younger person held towards an older person sprouted in his heart.


    ¡°Song Yu gege.¡± He leaned his head over.


    Song Yu took off one of his earphones and met his eyes.


    ¡°Have you watched those kinds of videos before?¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s face and voice revealed how shy he was at asking this question, but it was like he was worried Song Yu wouldn¡¯t understand what he was saying. He especially clarified, ¡°The kind that¡¯s not suitable for children.¡±


    Song Yu drew his eyebrows together. ¡°What are you asking this for?¡±


    This time, Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t distracted by Song Yu¡¯s counter question. He persistently asked, ¡°Have you?¡±


    Song Yu stayed quiet for a few seconds, and then he lifted his hand to put his earphone back in, looking like he wasn¡¯t going to answer his question. Yue Zhishi hurriedly pressed down on the hand holding the earphone. ¡°I¡¯m just curious.¡±


    ¡°Why are you curious?¡± Song Yu stared at him, eyes sharp.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t dodge away from Song Yu¡¯s eyes, but it took him two seconds to open his mouth. ¡°A few boys took me to watch one earlier.¡±


    He was originally a bit scared of how Song Yu would react, but his reaction was much calmer than he imagined. ¡°And then?¡±


    Song Yu raised an eyebrow, his face still smooth with not much expression. ¡°Did you like it?¡±


    Yue Zhishi lowered his eyes and mumbled, ¡°It was okay.¡± He didn¡¯t dare say what he later saw, only telling Song Yu the first half of what happened. ¡°I actually didn¡¯t see all that clearly. The boys were all crowded together over such a small phone screen, and they were laughing so loudly. They all said the woman¡¯s body was really good, but I couldn¡¯t tell. She was really pale, a foreigner, and the man¡­¡±


    ¡°He wasn¡¯t good-looking at all. He had a messy beard.¡± Yue Zhishi flicked his eyes upwards, quickly glancing at Song Yu and looking like a puppy pressed against the corner of a wall after doing something wrong. But the words that came out of his mouth were so direct they could make someone laugh: ¡°He wasn¡¯t as good-looking as you.¡±


    A confused expression appeared on Song Yu¡¯s face. ¡°Why are you comparing him to me? Do you think I¡¯ll be really happy to hear you say I look better than a porn actor?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was also a bit uncertain, but he very quickly found a reason. ¡°Because you¡¯re here. And you really are good-looking.¡±


    Song Yu was made speechless by his words. The bus announced the current stop, and as if waking up from a dream, Yue Zhishi pushed his shoulder to get off the bus.


    ¡°Don¡¯t hang around with those people in the future. You¡¯ll only be led astray,¡± Song Yu sternly warned him.


    But even if he didn¡¯t say so, Yue Zhishi already knew this. He may not have been brought up as strictly as under an iron hand, but his upbringing had always guided him towards a good direction, to the point even Yue Zhishi himself didn¡¯t like how it¡¯d felt to be around that group of people.


    And not only that, he always subconsciously felt that if he really did head down the wrong path, Song Yu might be disgusted by him.


    As they walked along the street, the summer wind blew towards their faces. There were many busy barbecue shops along the road with their tables scattered outside, one leaning against another. People sat outside and chatted as they ate their late night snacks. Song Yu¡¯s voice was slightly lost in the midst of such a loud environment, but it no longer sounded as stern. ¡°It¡¯s very normal to start becoming sexually aware. You¡¯ve already grown up.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know how to continue this conversation, so he didn¡¯t utter a single sound. They walked past the area with all the late night food stalls, and the noise started to quiet down, leaving behind only the chirping of the late night cicadas. Their shadows lengthened under the dim yellow light of the street lamps, stretching until they merged together.


    With his head down, Yue Zhishi heard Song Yu ask, ¡°You didn¡¯t feel anything else after watching the video?¡±


    He didn¡¯t know why Song Yu changed the topic again. He resolutely said, ¡°No.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t insist on asking anything further, and the two of them walked in silence until they reached the lift to their home. Song Yu pressed the button, and as they waited, Song Yu once again quietly said, ¡°You don¡¯t need to feel ashamed about these things. Even if you felt something or had some sort of reaction while you were watching, it¡¯s all very normal. It¡¯s instinctive for humans to have reproductive desire. You can be curious, and you can actively try to understand it ¡ª as long as you don¡¯t do anything you shouldn¡¯t be doing just because of your curiosity.¡±


    In reality, Song Yu didn¡¯t want to act as a mentor in this area. He forcefully pretended to be indifferent as he took care of this situation ¡ª but it was only because he didn¡¯t want Yue Zhishi to be embarrassed because of it.


    In reality, he wasn¡¯t too willing to imagine how Yue Zhishi looked like when he watched that video.


    ¡°Sex isn¡¯t shameful. Only when you face it directly can you treat it as it should be treated: correctly.¡±


    On one hand, Song Yu hoped his little brother could properly handle the awakening of his sexual awareness, but on the other hand, he felt as if he didn¡¯t really have the right qualification to lead him. After all, his intentions and thoughts were what everyone considered to be ¡®incorrect¡¯. This kind of contradictory feeling went against all logical thinking, and Song Yu was tired, trapped as he learned how to properly fulfil the responsibilities of an older brother.


    ¡°It¡¯s all very normal. No need to be nervous.¡±


    Thinking how Yue Zhishi could say these things to him without a single shred of worry, Song Yu kept feeling more and more that he should remain in his current position and be a good older brother.


    Yue Zhishi mulled over Song Yu¡¯s words, and the burden in his heart felt lighter. But the thing he was too embarrassed to say seemed to be two separate things compared to what Song Yu said ¡ª the degree of it was different, and the direction was also different.


    But maybe it was the same kind of reasoning, he tried to convince himself.


    But if Song Yu really did learn that he had a stronger reaction to a video with two men in it, would he still be able to say these things to him in such a calm manner?


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t tell.


    The elevator doors opened, and maybe because of something being transported in the lift earlier, but some dust flew down the moment the doors opened. Yue Zhishi was standing right in front, and he breathed the dust in and was unable to stop from coughing.


    ¡°Are you okay?¡± Song Yu pressed the button for their floor. He wasn¡¯t as sensitive to smells as Yue Zhishi. He didn¡¯t feel there was anything unusual in the lift, so he unconsciously lowered his head to check if his body still smelled like cigarette smoke. Seeing this, Yue Zhishi shook his head, steadied his breathing, and said to Song Yu, ¡°It¡¯s not the smell from your body. Some dust just fell down.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s tone sounded a bit unnatural as he realised Yue Zhishi noticed what he was doing. ¡°I just didn¡¯t want to smell like smoke. It stinks.¡±


    ¡°A little bit. But I don¡¯t know why¡­¡± Yue Zhishi leaned against the elevator wall. After coughing, his pale face was tinged with red, his eyes slightly wet, and yet his voice and gaze were sincere.


    ¡°But if it¡¯s on you, the smoke smells really nice.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Le Le, my darling child, you can¡¯t be such a tease¡­

 CH 37

    Chapter 37: An Imitation Life


    Song Yu didn¡¯t respond to him, just like usual.


    Most of the time, Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t need a response. He had been like that since he was young, always able to openly divulge his affection for gege at any time, any place, and never feeling that it was inappropriate to express his feelings.


    But the current him had slightly changed ¡ª sometimes he hoped gege would be able to give him a bit of a response, even if the response was a decisive rejection like when they were children, telling him, ¡°I don¡¯t like it when you say stuff like that. Don¡¯t do it again.¡±


    If Song Yu didn¡¯t say a single thing, then Yue Zhishi would want to guess. But he didn¡¯t like guessing.


    He didn¡¯t get an allergic reaction, but he still decided to take an antihistamine just in case. That night, Yue Zhishi found it hard to sleep, tossing and turning until about 2am in the morning before finally falling asleep.


    He had a very strange dream. He initially lay on a very beautiful meadow, the sky very heavy and clouds very puffy. He reached out a hand, and one dark cloud dropped to press onto his body without leaving any room for him to move. Yue Zhishi immediately had no way to breathe. He tried to break free, and the cloud gathered together and turned into a human figure ¡ª a tall male figure without a face, and yet it felt very familiar.


    The cloud wrapped very tightly around him, almost completely airtight, and the sexually intimate-like embrace suffocated him. That sense of impending death felt just like an allergic attack, pressing and constricting all of his nerves. But the strange thing was ¡ª in the midst of this struggle for air, he was compelled to feel something wondrous.


    At the end, the cloud in his dream turned into a pool of hot rainwater without any warning and drenched him completely. At 5am in the morning, Yue Zhishi was shocked awake from his dream.


    In the many days after, Yue Zhishi kept trying to further understand his feelings through online searches. He didn¡¯t want to keep being caged in between ignorant curiosity and fear, so he read many articles, performed many tests and even watched many movies by himself. Most of them were art films, created very beautifully and were very emotionally affecting ¡ª but Yue Zhishi fell heavier into doubt the more he watched.


    He looked at photos of many highly attractive men without much feeling. He did tests set by set and didn¡¯t get any clear results: not every test gave him the same result.


    All of this left Yue Zhishi at a loss.


    His bewilderment showed quite clearly as he was often lost in thought, frowning. When he watched television dramas with Lin Rong, he¡¯d either stare blankly at the scenes with the male and female leads acting against each other or show a very serious, probing expression as he watched, as if he really needed someone to give him an answer. So on a certain day later, as the entire family spent a day outside, Song Yu looked at Yue Zhishi, who was staring blankly at a field of lotus flowers, and said, ¡°Do you remember your fortune stick?¡±


    Yue Zhishi looked at him a bit absently, his arms carrying a peaceful Cotton Candy.


    ¡°Let nature run its course,¡± Song Yu said.


    He vaguely felt Song Yu understood and knew why he was feeling so lost. And he¡¯d always relied on Song Yu, never once erecting any barriers between them.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to be different from other people.¡± Yue Zhishi very honestly revealed his thoughts to Song Yu, his hand lightly caressing Cotton Candy¡¯s furry head. ¡°It¡¯ll be really weird.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    Cotton Candy sneaked out and away to Lin Rong¡¯s call.


    Yue Zhishi sat on the grass next to the lake, grabbed a full lotus pod and started picking out a few tender lotus seeds. ¡°People have always given me special attention since I looked different from everyone else when I was young. I don¡¯t want to stand out too much now that I¡¯m older.¡± He broke off the green shell around a seed, revealing the white and delicate lotus nut inside, and gave it to Song Yu.


    Song Yu took it but didn¡¯t eat it. He silently felt it was natural for Yue Zhishi to be worried since he was about to start high school and needed to face a new and different social circle. The two of them sat next to each other. It was the end of June, right as the lotus flowers were starting to bloom. The wind blew the lotus leaves until they flipped upside down and covered the newly born, very unsteady flower buds. Song Yu said, in a low voice, ¡°Do you know what the most contradictory thing about humans is?¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head, eyes focused on the side of his face.


    ¡°In order to avoid getting hurt, we imitate and copy the way other people live until we¡¯ve changed ourselves to be like them, until we¡¯ve merged into society. This is instinctual for humans to survive in a social setting. Just like the mimicry you see in nature ¡ª in order to protect themselves, animals have evolved to fuse with their environments. It¡¯s safer that way.¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡±


    ¡°But humans are much more complicated compared to animals.¡± Song Yu stared out at the lake in the distance. ¡°Sometimes, we carry a certain kind of hope. We think we¡¯re not the same as other people, and occasionally, we even want to be a bit more special ¡ª we don¡¯t want to be part of the ordinary and unremarkable majority. So we all fall into an inner struggle with ourselves, struggling to understand the contradiction. And in order to remove the contradiction, we need to give up ourselves.¡±


    He looked at Yue Zhishi as he spoke. ¡°If you¡¯d rather be part of the multitude of people, then you will need to give up the part of you that¡¯s unwilling to be mediocre.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was also looking at him, his light-coloured pupils very clear. Under the swaying rays of sunlight, even his dark brown eyelashes were semi-transparent.


    The kind of hesitation that came from deliberation lay deeply in his eyes.


    Having finished what he needed to say, Song Yu turned his face away. Song Jin called him from behind, asking him to get new fish bait. Song Yu responded and stood up.


    He¡¯d taken only two steps when Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but turn around and call out to him.


    ¡°Then how do you think I should choose?¡±


    Behind him, a single flower bud swayed uneasily in the warm breeze.


    Song Yu stopped walking and turned his body halfway. ¡°You need to choose for yourself. I can¡¯t give you any helpful suggestions. Because to me, you don¡¯t have a choice.¡±


    Yue Zhishi frowned in doubt.


    ¡°You were special from the moment you were born.¡± Song Yu raised an eyebrow. ¡°Weren¡¯t you?¡±


    The wind by the lake blew away the wildly growing flowers and plants and also blew away the fog lingering around the wetland park. The round leaves fluttered as they covered the entire surface of the lake, separating and then coming back together, and the pond of lotus flowers changed from scattered little flower buds to flower petals blossomed across the entire lake. The height of summer arrived at the end of August, and everything became bright and luminous.


    The news of the college entrance examination score release had already entered the hot searches, and even people who hadn¡¯t participated were very nervous. Only Song Yu remained calm and composed, and when he went to check his score, he even looked like he was checking it for someone else, his entire person acting as if this matter had nothing to do with him. It was Yue Zhishi, pulling and pushing, who was anxious on his behalf.


    His score was as calm as his person. Even his class adviser called and congratulated him, saying he¡¯ll have no problem getting into Tsinghua and giving him many suggestions on where to register for university. After finishing his phone call, the school headmasters called. Song Yu was later too lazy to deal with them and gave them all to Lin Rong, pretending to be ill.


    Yue Zhishi was one hundred times more overjoyed compared to Song Yu. He was more excited than when he found out his own score was enough to enter Peiya¡¯s advanced class stream. He immediately sent a message to Jiang Yufan to brag, even saying his ge only lost two points in math and stressing the news twice.


    Song Jin rushed home from his company after learning his son tested well. He said they needed to celebrate, but knowing Song Yu didn¡¯t like to publicise his personal matters, he temporarily didn¡¯t invite guests to a grand celebration. After discussing it with Lin Rong, they decided to throw a private celebration before Song Yu registered for university.


    ¡°These are all dishes you guys like, hurry and eat up.¡± Lin Rong placed a bottle of red wine on top of some ice. ¡°Since we¡¯re celebrating today, we can drink a little bit. Le Le can¡¯t, though.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t mind. ¡°That¡¯s okay, I like Sprite.¡±


    Song Jin stood next to the table, cutting grilled lamb chops while he asked Song Yu, ¡°Didn¡¯t you already choose a school earlier? You¡¯ve kept it to yourself for so long, isn¡¯t it about time you told us?¡±


    More than anyone else, Yue Zhishi cared about Song Yu¡¯s answer. He thought about what Xia Zhixu said a while ago, that they were going to study in Beijing ¡ª he wanted to know if Song Yu would also be going to such a faraway place.


    If even his class adviser and high school director were urging him, then Song Yu should be going, right?


    Lin Rong brought out three wine glasses and started to joke, ¡°If you really are going to Tsinghua or Peking, then we definitely need to invite everyone for dinner. Even though I don¡¯t really want to see sister-in-law and the rest of the family, we still have to follow the rules and invite friends and family¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not going to Beijing.¡± Song Yu sat on his chair and was very calm. ¡°I want to register for Wuhan University.¡±


    ¡°Your score¡­¡±


    ¡°There is no such thing as a score that requires you to go a particular university, only the field you want to go into and the university you want to attend.¡±


    Song Jin clearly hadn¡¯t expected this at all, his face subtly changing because of this unexpected news before he once again displayed his usual understanding. ¡°That¡¯s fine, as long as you¡¯ve already decided.¡±


    ¡°Wuhan University is also good.¡± Lin Rong¡¯s mindset changed very quickly. Tsinghua or Peking would be always be the secret first choice for every parent, but she was also very happy to learn her son was willing to stay in his home city. Plus, Lin Rong knew Song Yu¡¯s personality ¡ª before he announced his choice, he would¡¯ve already gone and planned everything out. She didn¡¯t want to show too much opposition, so she tried to ease the situation by saying, ¡°Wuhan U¡¯s close to home, you can come back whenever you want. I think that¡¯s a good choice.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was secretly very happy, but even he knew how to tailor his behaviour to other people¡¯s reactions. He didn¡¯t say much.


    ¡°Then have you already thought about what you want to study?¡± Song Jin asked.


    ¡°Geomatics,¡± Song Yu replied. ¡°I¡¯ve already learned a lot about it over the summer vacation. I¡¯ve learned the foundations, and even took the chance to get familiar with some of the relevant software knowledge. It¡¯ll be easier for me later after enrolment.¡± He looked at Song Jin and added, ¡°Wuhan University is the best in this field. Not only is the university ranked number one for this discipline, even their academic resources and the depth of their research are the best. I¡¯ve also considered my academic research plans for the future.¡±


    Song Yu had matured much earlier compared to his peers. As his parents, they¡¯d long known this, but Song Jin was still slightly surprised ¡ª he never expected Song Yu to have planned out his future so far ahead.


    And he never even thought that Song Yu would want to study this field.


    For a moment, Song Jin couldn¡¯t quite control his facial expressions, and Yue Zhishi noticed it from the corner of his eye.


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter, that¡¯s all in the future. All that matters is our son¡¯s good score.¡± Lin Rong urged Song Jin to sit down. ¡°Let¡¯s just celebrate first.¡±


    As he ate, Yue Zhishi asked Song Yu many questions, like what was geomatics, what did it teach, what could he do after graduating. Song Yu gave each of his questions a succinct answer, leaving him with a basic understanding of what geomatics was.


    ¡°No wonder.¡± Yue Zhishi abruptly caught Song Yu¡¯s wrist. ¡°The drawing you gave me last time.¡±


    Song Yu pulled his hand away. ¡°Hurry and eat.¡±


    ¡°What drawing?¡± Lin Rong chimed in to tease, ¡°You two have more and more little secrets.¡±


    ¡°Not at all, I tell you everything.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t believe you. Then tell me if there¡¯s a girl you like.¡±


    Yue Zhishi dryly laughed. ¡°I really don¡¯t.¡±


    Even Song Jin laughed. ¡°How could a mom be like you, every day trying to gossip with your child to find out if they¡¯re dating.¡±


    ¡°But that¡¯s completely normal, if he tells me then I can give him hints or ideas.¡±


    Song Yu gave Lin Rong a piece of beef. ¡°You should eat.¡±


    ¡°Xiao Yu can¡¯t stand me again!¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    After dinner, Yue Zhishi and Song Yu gave Cotton Candy a shower. When the Pomeranian was dry, he was as woolly and fluffy as a cloud, but once he was soaked in water, his entire body would shrink by half. Cotton Candy didn¡¯t like showering and kept trying to run away, so they needed to have one person hold onto him while the other washed him.


    Yue Zhishi was more than half-drenched by the time they finished cleaning him halfway. Song Jin appeared in front of the downstairs bathroom door and mildly said, ¡°Song Yu, come out with me.¡±


    After Song Yu was called away, only Yue Zhishi and Cotton Candy were left in the bathroom. Both of them were wet, and both of them were also very nervous.


    But Song Yu wasn¡¯t nervous. He¡¯d already expected his father would call him out for a talk and wasn¡¯t surprised. Song Jin held a basketball as they went down and brought his son to the neighbourhood¡¯s basketball court.


    The two of them played carelessly, one on defence and the other on attack, and would switch roles after landing a basket. Song Yu would always remember ¡ª it was Song Jin who¡¯d taught him how to play basketball when he was a child, telling him this sport not only needed explosive power, it also needed patience and persistence.


    ¡°It¡¯s been too long since we played together.¡± Song Jin stood in the middle of the court. He took a shot, and the ball flew in a parabolic curve until it hit the rim and fell into the net, bouncing on the ground. He shook his head, two hands resting on his hips. ¡°I¡¯m too old now, my body can¡¯t keep up with yours.¡±


    Song Yu picked the ball back up and went to the vending machine on the side of the court, buying two bottles of sports drink before giving one to his father. The two of them sat down to rest. Facing the empty basketball court, Song Jin released a sigh. ¡°I still remember when we used to play here together. We¡¯d face off against each other, with you on defence but still really wanting to win. You wanted to steal my ball, but you ended up hitting the ball out in a rush and smacking your brother¡¯s head.¡±


    Song Jin laughed out loud as he thought of that memory. ¡°Le Le was so dazed, his butt plonked directly on the ground. He didn¡¯t get up for such a long time, and yet he didn¡¯t cry. He only stared blankly at the ball on the ground.¡±


    He looked at Song Yu. ¡°You must¡¯ve also been very scared at that time.¡±


    Song Yu stayed silent as if in unspoken admission. His memory of that time was already blurry and indistinct, but he could still remember how nervous he was ¡ª and because he had been so nervous, he couldn¡¯t remember how Yue Zhishi reacted.


    ¡°But he didn¡¯t really mind. You ran over to him, and he babbled something, maybe for you to carry him ¡ª if you didn¡¯t pick him up, then he wouldn¡¯t get up.¡± Song Jin smiled. ¡°Le Le¡¯s personality is truly so similar to his dad. He¡¯ll definitely be like your Uncle Yue after he grows up. He may look like he doesn¡¯t understand anything like a child, but for many things, he¡¯s already well aware of what he should do. He just isn¡¯t willing to think too much about them.¡±


    Song Yu knew what his father was saying was correct. But unconsciously, he¡¯d always considered Yue Zhishi as a child even though he clearly already knew Yue Zhishi was grown up. He¡¯d even occasionally looked at him like someone he needed to protect, as if he could gain some sort of pleasure from it ¡ª when in reality, he only gained an ever-increasing burden.


    ¡°Tell me your thoughts.¡± Song Jin knocked his sports drink against the one in Song Yu¡¯s hand. ¡°Why do you want to study geomatics? It sounds like it should be related to your Uncle Yue.¡±


    Song Yu gazed steadily at his father, realising he actually already understood everything.


    ¡°I feel like Yue Zhishi¡¯s really similar to you too,¡± Song Yu suddenly said.


    Song Jin knew he wasn¡¯t trying to change the conversation. He laughed, ¡°He¡¯s also really similar to your mom. After all, he is a child we raised. But as for you, it¡¯s like you grew up by yourself and don¡¯t really need us.¡±


    Song Yu shook his head, denying his father¡¯s words. ¡°I really need you guys. Every single one of you.¡± It was rare for him to be so honest, but even then it was only just to this point.


    There was a sudden gust of wind, and the shadows from the surrounding trees rocked in response as the summer cicadas screamed. Song Jin said, ¡°I know you¡¯ve liked geography since you were a child. Maybe it has to do with your Uncle Yue as well. I was too busy running my business, so Yue Yi brought you to many places, climbing mountains and viewing oceans.¡±


    He held onto Song Yu¡¯s shoulder as he spoke. ¡°When I think about it, my son¡¯s actually really amazing. You followed him at such a young age and ran around the country to so many different places. You must¡¯ve seen landscapes even many adults haven¡¯t seen.¡±


    In the family, Song Yu was actually the person most unwilling to bring up Yue Yi. To him, Yue Yi was another father figure who¡¯d taken him to see a different world as he emerged from his infancy years.


    He would always remember Yue Yi standing at the peak of the mountain, shouting out to the surrounding mist and clouds ¡ª shouting that he hoped every single person by his side would be blessed with happiness.


    That he hoped his future child would also be blessed.


    Song Jin laughed as he said, ¡°Sometimes I would wonder, how would he be like if he was still alive? He was such a chatty person, such a good person. If Le Le had grown up under their care, would he be in better shape than he is now?¡± He paused, and then continued. ¡°So your mom and I, we really are trying our best to raise him. We always feel that Yue Yi guy is looking at us from the heavens.¡±


    He looked towards Song Yu. ¡°Just think about how well he treated you when you were a child. If he was still here, just how dearly would he love Le Le?¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s nose started to burn. He was a bit resistant to continuing this conversation further, because it felt like he was falling into a contradictory, difficult choice. On the one hand, he was well aware that if this premise was real, Yue Zhishi would definitely be happier. But on the other hand, he couldn¡¯t imagine the existence of a Yue Zhishi in this world who didn¡¯t grow up together with him, a Yue Zhishi who was completely independent from his own life.


    It was truly scary, Song Yu thought.


    ¡°My heart is a bit resistant to hearing that you want to learn geomatics, and that you even want to continue researching into this area.¡± Song Jin openly said to him what was on his mind. ¡°You probably guessed it already.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re afraid it¡¯s not safe.¡± Song Yu knew he would think this way. After all, no matter how advanced modern technology was, to surveying and mapping workers, it was hard to avoid heading out to the wild. It was very likely they would face and be tested by very dangerous terrain.


    Song Jin dipped his head. ¡°You¡¯re probably aware that your Uncle Yue¡¯s accident left me with a little bit of a traumatic experience.¡±


    He spoke too subtly. Song Yu knew it wasn¡¯t just a ¡®little bit¡¯.


    ¡°It¡¯s not the same,¡± Song Yu tried to explain. ¡°No matter what, there¡¯s still a long time to when I can head out for work. It¡¯s too early to talk about these things. Besides, it¡¯s different doing it for work or doing it as a hobby. The levels of security arrangements are different.¡±


    Song Jin knew all this and knew things were no longer the same as the past. It was no longer common to head out to the wild.


    At the end of the day, it was merely his heart that couldn¡¯t accept it.


    He patted Song Yu¡¯s knee, sighing. ¡°Go. Even if I¡¯m worried for you, I¡¯ll still support you.¡± He gave Song Yu a smile. ¡°But if you could rely on us more in the future, that would be even better.¡±


    Song Yu lowered his eyes and nodded.


    Song Jin¡¯s cellphone rang ¡ª it was his wife rushing them to come home. He stood up and stretched. ¡°Let¡¯s buy some ice cream for your mom.¡±


    ¡°Sure.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right. You probably don¡¯t know, but it was your Uncle Yue that helped your mom and me get together.¡±


    Song Yu actually hadn¡¯t known; no one had mentioned this before. ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Your mom had a good background and was beautiful. There were so many people chasing after her.¡± Song Jin joked, ¡°Although I, your father, also had a beautiful face and a good body, my family background was worse than hers and was even more terrible compared to your Uncle Yue¡¯s. He knew I liked your mom when we were in university, and he knew your mom was also interested in me. I was too embarrassed to chase after her, and Yue Yi kept encouraging us as he ran back and forth between the two of us. It took a lot of effort for us to get together.¡±


    ¡°Without your Uncle Yue, you might not even exist.¡± Under the street lamps, Song Jin¡¯s smile carried a few measures of nostalgia. His smile gradually faded, and he said some words, full of feeling.


    ¡°Our large lucky star¡¯s gone, but he left us a little lucky star. Isn¡¯t that good too?¡±


    Song Yu watched their shadows on the ground, shrinking and lengthening as they weaved through the tree shadows. He nodded.


    ¡°Mn.¡±


    After buying some ice cream, Song Jin suddenly needed to take a business phone call before heading up. He gave the convenience store bag to Song Yu and told him to go upstairs first, saying he¡¯ll head up after his call.


    So Song Yu opened the door of his home by himself, giving to his mom the ice cream his dad had bought for her and refusing to accept her affectionate attacks. He went up the stairs, but as he passed Yue Zhishi¡¯s room, the door to Yue Zhishi¡¯s room abruptly opened and gave him a scare.


    Yue Zhishi stood in the entrance of his room. ¡°Song Yu gege, are you okay?¡±


    Song Yu found his question very random. ¡°Do you need me for something?¡± He prepared to walk towards his own room, but then Yue Zhishi dragged him into his room and even closed the door.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡± Before Song Yu could figure out what was happening, Yue Zhishi pushed him against the door. One of Yue Zhishi¡¯s hands pressed on his rib cage, and the other held onto the door handle.


    ¡°Did Uncle Song just pull you out to scold you?¡± Yue Zhishi looked into Song Yu¡¯s eyes, his own gaze very certain. ¡°He didn¡¯t seem to be too supportive of you going to Wuhan University.¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°If you say he didn¡¯t, then he definitely did.¡± Yue Zhishi thought he already figured out everything that happened. ¡°What did Uncle Song say? Did he want you to go to Tsinghua?¡±


    He¡¯d heard Lin Rong talk on the phone with a friend of hers earlier as he was blowdrying Cotton Candy. She had also felt it was a pity Song Yu didn¡¯t want to go to Tsinghua.


    Everyone said it was fine, he could go anywhere he wanted ¡ª but secretly, they all wanted to urge Song Yu to reconsider.


    The more he thought about it, the more he felt his thinking was correct. Yue Zhishi released the hand pressing onto Song Yu and pulled open the door, preparing to go downstairs. ¡°Let me talk to Uncle Song for you. I can convince him.¡±


    One leg had just passed the door when Song Yu grabbed and pulled him back. ¡°Come back here.¡±


    Yue Zhishi faced him, and seeing how Song Yu looked a bit helpless, he couldn¡¯t help but ask, ¡°How come your face looks like you want to laugh without being able to?¡±


    He was surprisingly perceptive this time. Song Yu let go of his hand and said, ¡°What do you keep thinking about?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m thinking about you.¡±


    Song Yu froze for a moment.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice was too sincere for Song Yu. ¡°When you said you wanted to study geomatics at dinner, I felt Uncle Song and Aunt Rong weren¡¯t really supportive. If it were me, and I saw everyone giving me reactions like that, I¡¯d definitely be frustrated. Who wouldn¡¯t want other people to approve the path they want to take?¡±


    ¡°So?¡± Song Yu gazed at him.


    He raised his head, eyes firm. ¡°I support you. I support you no matter what. Just then when you were gone, I went and did some research. Wuhan University is the best school for geomatics, and some people even say it¡¯s the best in Asia. Besides, I also know many people don¡¯t know what they want to study after college exams. You¡¯re not like that, you¡¯re already very clear about what you want to do. I¡¯m really happy that you can go to the best, and the most suitable, place to study what you want to study. I don¡¯t want to see you change your mind because of someone else. Because you¡¯re very mature ¡ª you know what you want, right?¡±


    Yue Zhishi clasped Song Yu¡¯s hand as he spoke. Even though he didn¡¯t know he¡¯d made a mistake in his reasoning, the heart that rushed to convey its support ¡ª Song Yu could feel its heartbeats.


    ¡°Gege, I¡¯m always standing on your side.¡±


    In a daze, Song Yu remembered what had happened at the basketball court when he was a child. He finally remembered what Yue Zhishi had actually said to him after being knocked hard enough that he fell onto the ground.


    He had been very small, and yet he held back his tears and didn¡¯t cry. He even stretched out his arms and said to him, Xiao Yu gege, you know how to play ball now, you¡¯re so amazing.


    Can you pick me up?


    The author has something to say:


    Big time skip warning (but it¡¯s nothing like having become of age and then getting together immediately, don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ve only written 150,000 characters hhhh)


    Song Yu didn¡¯t stay back and choose Wuhan U because of anyone. He has his own desires and has even already considered his future research area. Wuhan U¡¯s geomatics is the strongest in the country (at one point, it was also called Asia¡¯s #1. Everyone can search online how often academicians teach undergraduates. Tsinghua or Peking shouldn¡¯t be chosen just because they¡¯re Tsinghua/Peking ¡ª you should focus on what you want to do). He considers everything he does, and earlier when he chose to stay in the country, it was also because he already knew what he wanted to study professionally.


    Gege is a very logical, very mature person who does nothing without thinking over it. And besides, not every main character in a story needs to go to Tsinghua or Peking; just like a commenter said, geomatics belong to Wuhan U and dentistry belongs to Sichuan U. There was some news a while ago about a Yunnan college entrance examinee being admitted into one of Peking¡¯s medical specialities, dentistry related, and then wasn¡¯t satisfied after going there for a while. He chose to take the entrance exams again, got 712 points and registered for Sichuan U. It¡¯s the same kind of logic.


    And here, to every person preparing for exams and every person who will face the college exams in the future ¡ª I wish that you can all go to the school you want and study the field you want to study~ I support you all~

 CH 38

    Chapter 38: Starting School Gift


    Yue Zhishi spoke very seriously, only just to have his face covered by Song Yu¡¯s large hand.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡± He lifted his own hand, wanting to remove his gege¡¯s troublesome hand, and heard Song Yu say, ¡°You need to get better at observing other people¡¯s reactions.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡± Yue Zhishi wrapped his two hands around Song Yu¡¯s wrist, slightly surprised.


    ¡°They¡¯re very supportive.¡± Without any expression on his face, Song Yu tilted his head. ¡°Just like you.¡±


    He lightly patted Yue Zhishi¡¯s cheek twice after he finished speaking and then turned around to open the door of Yue Zhishi¡¯s room. ¡°I¡¯m leaving.¡±


    Yue Zhishi felt he did something foolish again, but thinking about how everyone supported Song Yu, he thought it was nothing to do something silly like this if everyone was satisfied. Song Yu very naturally applied to the university he wanted to attend, and the day the acceptance letter came, the entire family was particularly happy. Since their eldest child managed to get into university, the Song family, for all intents and purposes, needed to treat their relatives to a meal.


    As they sat around the dinner table, older Uncle Song expressed his dissatisfaction at Song Yu¡¯s choice multiple times.


    ¡°Hopeless. Everyone who does well on the entrance exams all go Beijing, Shanghai or Guangzhou. What¡¯s the point in staying here? And such an unpopular field of study too. Young people these days all either study IT or something high tech. Easier to earn money.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was very angry at this form of parental criticism, but he had no position to retort back. He could only give Song Yu some pieces of beef.


    ¡°I don¡¯t lack money,¡± Song Yu very flatly said. ¡°The majors you mentioned are all very good, but I have no interest in them.¡±


    His aunt chuckled and said, as if trying to smooth things over, ¡°Xiao Yu, your uncle¡¯s just thinking of you. Yes, it¡¯s important to be interested in what you want to study, but geomatics is too unpopular. So many people haven¡¯t even heard of it. Wouldn¡¯t it be hard to find a job?¡±


    ¡°And yes, Wuhan U is very good, but you would¡¯ve been able to get into Tsinghua with your score. It¡¯s such a pity. It would¡¯ve been fine even if you¡¯d ended up taking a slightly more ordinary degree at Tsinghua. You¡¯re still too young. When you¡¯re later looking for work, no matter what degree you have, people will respect you as soon as you say you graduated from Tsinghua.¡±


    Lin Rong couldn¡¯t help but snap, ¡°In that case, sister-in-law, why don¡¯t you go work in Tsinghua¡¯s cafeteria? Why are you still working in a local school? You should believe in yourself a bit more, it¡¯ll sound so good to say you work in Tsinghua¡¯s cafeteria.¡±


    Their aunt had nothing to say to Lin Rong¡¯s brusque words. It was very difficult for Yue Zhishi to hold back his laughter ¡ª his leg started shaking in his amusement and only stopped when Song Yu reached below the table and held it down.


    Since the atmosphere was slightly awkward, Song Jin said a few words. ¡°Yes, Xiao Yu¡¯s score truly could¡¯ve taken him to those universities. But if we think about it, if he went to Tsinghua and studied something he didn¡¯t like and ended up with a job he didn¡¯t want, he would¡¯ve struggled to be happy. We don¡¯t want him to have a future like that. Since he¡¯s already planned out his life and wants to continue researching into geomatics in the future, then naturally he needed to choose the best school for that field. Of course,¡± he said, looking at Song Yu, ¡°uncle and auntie are just sharing their life experiences with you. You should listen to them too.¡±


    Yue Zhishi silently thought, they didn¡¯t even go to university, what experiences can they have? It¡¯s just that they found an opportunity to point their fingers at their family to nitpick.


    His aunt sighed again. ¡°That¡¯s true. For children like Xiao Yu, they all have an escape route if they end up regretting choosing a field they liked or not. You can always take up your dad¡¯s company if you¡¯re really not happy. Your dad¡¯s working so hard just for you, after all. And to use a phrase that¡¯s super popular with you young people ¡ª you having your dad already means you¡¯ve won at life. You actually don¡¯t need to work that hard.¡±


    Her face may have been covered by a large smile, but her eyes were filled with sarcasm. Song Yu was too lazy to reply and indifferently continued drinking his soup, entirely ignoring every single thing said by the people around the table.


    But Song Jin, who had always had a gentle personality, said with a stern face, ¡°Sister-in-law.¡±


    Seeing Song Jin without any traces of humour, she slightly panicked. She wasn¡¯t able to say anything before Song Jin continued speaking.


    ¡°I¡¯m not working so hard just for him to have already won at the starting line of life. It¡¯s so my son can have the right to make his own choices.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s hand also paused.


    ¡°What I can give him is the confidence to continue being himself.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was suddenly very touched. He¡¯d attended many of these dinners since he was a child. He didn¡¯t understand when he was younger, thinking everyone got along in beautiful harmony, but after visiting grandpa last time, he now understood their aunt and uncle¡¯s family wasn¡¯t what he¡¯d imagined. And yet every time they gathered together, no one tore apart the exterior layer of peace.


    Especially Uncle Song ¡ª Yue Zhishi had never seen him get angry. He had always been the person to ease the tension in the room while carrying a smile on his face.


    But this time, he very seriously stood up in front of Song Yu and defended him, safeguarding his choices.


    Yue Zhishi was very happy for Song Yu, and slightly envious.


    Having gotten into trouble, their aunt very naturally changed the topic since her own younger son might not even be able to get into an undergraduate course. She would only lose her own face if she continued to argue about study fields. The dinner may have been awkward, but the wonder of Chinese family dinners lay in the fact that no matter how many struggles or dramatic arguments may have occurred in the past, the entire family will always come together ¡ª whether in true joy or not.


    In the last few days of the summer holiday, Yue Zhishi went with Song Yu to the library. They would buy a cup of milk tea and a cup of lemonade as they travelled there on their bikes and be able to stay there the entire day.


    The library truly didn¡¯t contain a girl like he¡¯d fantasied. The only person who sat across from Song Yu, watching him quietly read and study, was Yue Zhishi himself.


    The person he¡¯d seen as his benchmark since he was a child moved forward towards his own goals step by step, becoming an increasingly more outstanding adult.


    Peiya¡¯s high school department was about to start school, so Yue Zhishi no longer followed Song Yu to the library. He closed himself off in his room for an entire week. Song Yu thought he was trying to play and watch anime as much as he could before starting school again ¡ª after all, he was about to start high school and even needed to attend military training. In those few days, Song Yu never could have imagined that Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t actually lock himself in his room to play.


    The start of high school was earlier than the day new students needed to report to university. The day before Yue Zhishi started school, he sent a message to Song Yu, who was in the library.


    [Yue Zhishi: I want to eat barbecue skewers. Let¡¯s go get some for dinner, since Aunt Rong and Uncle Song aren¡¯t coming home tonight.]


    Naturally, Song Yu agreed.


    They agreed to meet in front of the little restaurant. Delicious barbecue restaurants were all usually very shabby, hidden amongst old communities filled with the history of their people. Many small tables were clustered in front of the door and were prepared to be used later during the late night snack hours. Song Yu parked his bike and as soon as he entered, he immediately saw Yue Zhishi sitting next to the window and looking at the menu with his head lowered.


    Yue Zhishi truly had grown up. His arms and legs were long and slender, his skin very fair, and he was easily noticeable in a crowd of people. It wasn¡¯t just because of his appearance ¡ª but also because of his pure and clean youthfulness that was unable to be ignored.


    Song Yu walked over and sat across from him. Yue Zhishi immediately lifted his head, his light-coloured eyes brightening. ¡°You¡¯re here. I¡¯ve already chose a few things, do you want to add anything else?¡± He then covered his face with the menu, very softly hinting to Song Yu, ¡°The table next to us ordered a crab noodle pot. It looks really tasty.¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t eat it,¡± Song Yu heartlessly replied and took the menu from Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand.


    Yue Zhishi was very dejected and poured himself a cup of hawthorn iced tea. ¡°Okay.¡± When he went to pour a cup for Song Yu, he abruptly noticed that Song Yu had actually ticked off the crab noodle pot on the menu.


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you say I can¡¯t eat it?¡±


    ¡°You can eat the crab.¡± The corners of Song Yu¡¯s mouth lightly crooked up. He raised a hand, calling over a waiter, and asked, ¡°Can we change the egg noodles in the crab noodle pot to thick rice noodles?¡±


    ¡°You can, but the rice noodles will break apart easier.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was already very satisfied. ¡°That¡¯s fine, I don¡¯t mind rice noodles.¡±


    Song Yu inspected once again the items Yue Zhishi had already marked off, and seeing there weren¡¯t any problems with them, handed off their food order to the waiter. He took a sip of the hawthorn iced tea Yue Zhishi had poured for him and frowned.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t it really sour?¡± Yue Zhishi laughed. ¡°The little bit I just had was also really sour.¡± His hair was still a soft dark brown colour. After staying at home for so long during the summer break, his hair had grown out, once again starting to curl. It looked like it would be very soft to the touch.


    ¡°You¡¯ll need to fix your hair before going back to school,¡± Song Yu reminded him.


    Yue Zhishi nodded. As they waited for their food to arrive, he took out a gift box from his bag and lifted it towards Song Yu over the table.


    ¡°What¡¯s this?¡± Song Yu asked.


    ¡°Open it after you go home. Don¡¯t open it now.¡± Since Song Yu had yet to take the box, Yue Zhishi slightly pulled back his hands and waited for Song Yu to nod before he was willing to give it to him. ¡°I originally wanted to buy it, but none of the ones I saw were any good.¡±


    Yue Zhishi withdrew his arms and wrapped a hand around his plastic cup. ¡°I recently read online that guys shouldn¡¯t give handmade stuff as gifts since they¡¯re not worth much. Usually most people who are given those gifts don¡¯t really like them either.¡± His fingers tightened, the cup changing shape and the hawthorn tea inside almost spilling out. ¡°And a lot of people in the comment section also agreed.¡±


    ¡°But it was a bit too late. I only saw the Weibo post last night after finishing this.¡± Yue Zhishi tried his best to hide how disheartened he felt, but it was still very clear. ¡°So look at it after we get home. Actually ¡ª no, bring it to university and then open it. Don¡¯t open it at home, I don¡¯t want to see how dissatisfied you are with it.¡±


    The expression on Song Yu¡¯s face shifted, and yet this guy completely didn¡¯t give him a single chance to say anything.


    Yue Zhishi lifted his face and looked at him. ¡°If you really don¡¯t like it, you can tell me. If you¡¯d told me about this earlier, I wouldn¡¯t have kept making so many useless handmade things.¡±


    He threw back his head and drank some of his tea, his posture looking as if he was trying to drown his sorrows.


    In Song Yu¡¯s eyes, the look of Yue Zhishi moping about was a bit cute and also a bit pitiful. So he asked, ¡°Then when should I have told you? Kindergarten?¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought about it. That was true enough, the first time he¡¯d given Song Yu a present was in kindergarten ¡ª the love heart his teacher had taught them to fold.


    ¡°True.¡± Yue Zhishi very seriously said, ¡°Then this is called cutting your losses.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not like I¡¯ve never rejected any before.¡± Song Yu raised an eyebrow.


    That was also true. Yue Zhishi then said, ¡°Then that means you didn¡¯t reject them strongly enough.¡±


    Song Yu quietly laughed once. ¡°Have you seen me accept presents from other people?¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head. ¡°No, but you probably took mine because you had no other choice. Since I¡¯m your little brother.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s fingertip softly tapped on the table. ¡°I can¡¯t help it if you want to think that way.¡±


    ¡°Here it is, here it is.¡± Yue Zhishi rested a cheek against one of his hands. ¡°I¡¯ve seen that phrase online before too. Many people make fun of it.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t understand what he was talking about and frowned.


    ¡°That phrase is listed as one of the things girls hate their boyfriends saying the most.¡± He even purposefully pretended to act very impatiently and dismissively. ¡°I can¡¯t help it if you want to think that way. That¡¯s just how I am.¡± Yue Zhishi spoke very energetically and completely didn¡¯t notice he¡¯d compared their relationship to being boyfriend and girlfriend. He also didn¡¯t notice Song Yu hadn¡¯t initially said it with indifference ¡ª rather, he¡¯d said it helplessly.


    ¡°Excuse me, your barbecue potatoes, tendons, green peppers and cartilage.¡± The waiter carried their barbecue skewers over and placed them on the table, interrupting the two of them. After thanking him, Yue Zhishi slightly forgot what he was just talking about.


    Song Yu opened his mouth after waiting for the waiter to leave. ¡°Stop going online so much.¡±


    Yue Zhishi tightened his lips and didn¡¯t retort, only grabbing a barbecue potato skewer to start eating.


    The crab noodle pot without any egg noodles came very soon after. The dish was actually made in a very similar way to braised crayfish ¡ª it¡¯s just that the crayfish was changed to crab. After grilling, the crab turned wonderfully spicy and fragrant with its rich and thick sauce, and the egg noodles would then be mixed in and absorb the sauce and juices from the crab. It was a very popular late night speciality dish for the locals.


    Since Yue Zhishi unfortunately couldn¡¯t eat egg noodles, the main eating point was changed to rice noodles. Even though it didn¡¯t absorb flavour as well, the mouth feel and texture of those noodles was smoother and more refreshing, and it did taste quite delicious.


    Yue Zhishi was a very open-minded person. He wouldn¡¯t be disappointed if something he couldn¡¯t eat needed to be cooked a different way for him to eat it. Many things in life were like that as well ¡ª if you weren¡¯t meant to have it, then don¡¯t think too much about it.


    He even directly gave up on the pieces of crab he couldn¡¯t break open, choosing another piece to eat.


    Yue Zhishi always felt he was the type of person who wouldn¡¯t force things.


    They left for home after they satisfied their stomachs. Cotton Candy whined to go downstairs, so Yue Zhishi went to walk the dog by himself.


    Song Yu went back to his room, sitting at his desk to examine Yue Zhishi¡¯s gift. Yue Zhishi would usually also make the gift wrapping by hand and would decorate it with some cartoon drawings, but this time, it truly looked like he¡¯d been disturbed. He used a gift box from somewhere; it was packaged very beautifully and looked just like a very important gift.


    But Song Yu still liked and preferred Yue Zhishi¡¯s old packaging. He¡¯d yet to throw away a single one of the gift boxes he¡¯d received since they were children.


    Since Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want him to open it, Song Yu followed his orders and directly placed the box into the suitcase he planned to take to university. He closed the suitcase and pushed it into the corner of his room.


    This medium sized suitcase rested in the corner for only four days before following Song Yu to report to Wuhan University. The campus was on the other side of the river, not really that far from home. Song Yu stubbornly wanted to go by himself, but Song Jin and Lin Rong, thinking this was an important event in their son¡¯s life, insisted on sending him over.


    The university was surrounded by mountains and lakes, Chinese classical architecture mixed with western and fused with layers of greenery. It was very beautiful. The volunteers in charge of welcoming the new students were also very friendly, doing their best to help the new students as they arrived on campus. Song Yu and his family drove over in a car ¡ª the school was even bigger than they¡¯d imagined. Lin Rong wanted to follow Song Yu up to his dormitory, but Song Yu directly refused.


    Song Jin said, pacifying his wife, ¡°Xiao Yu¡¯s already so grown up. If you go up and fuss around, he¡¯ll be laughed at by his roommates.¡±


    Lin Rong didn¡¯t take him seriously. ¡°If it were Le Le, he would definitely let me go up.¡±


    ¡°So you have nothing to regret this time, you still have one more chance,¡± Song Yu said.


    Song Yu refused to let them go up with him once more, so his two parents went home after strolling around for a bit. They really were quite busy with work, and since the campus was in the same city, they could come by whenever they wanted.


    After Song Yu sent them away, he pulled his suitcase by himself to the designated reporting area: the plaza in front of the School of Arts and Sciences general library. The major he chose truly was very unpopular ¡ª the amount of people arriving there to report was much less compared to the size of the plaza, and with the efficiency of the people working there, the reporting procedure finished quite quickly.


    Song Yu held his residence registration form and a map as he prepared to walk towards his dorm. The map said he could take the campus bus to his dorm, so he dragged his suitcase along as he searched for the bus stop.


    He stood there by himself for a little while, and then Song Yu lowered his head to look at the watch on his wrist. When he looked up again, a person not too far away was moving closer, carrying his own suitcase. This person looked very pale and very exhausted.


    There were always many coincidences in life.


    The greeting Song Yu failed to send months ago because he didn¡¯t have his contact information swirled in his brain.


    But he still couldn¡¯t open his mouth by the time Xu Qichen was separated from him by only three metres.


    There was still another person who didn¡¯t know what was happening ¡ª Xu Qichen was staring at the map on his phone, and when he finally lifted his head, he met Song Yu¡¯s eyes straight on. Surprise flashed across his eyes before it quickly disappeared, and his gaze once again turned apathetic.


    He¡¯d lost a lot of weight. He¡¯d originally had a very thin figure to begin with, but now he looked almost skeletal, weak and fragile. He wore a white t-shirt that no longer looked new, a pair of faded jeans and a pair of glasses, his eyes dull.


    Song Yu eventually opened his mouth. ¡°What a coincidence. I didn¡¯t think we¡¯d end up at the same university.¡±


    Xu Qichen pursed his lips, looking as if he didn¡¯t really want to speak, before he finally nodded. Song Yu couldn¡¯t tell if he was acknowledging what he¡¯d said or if he was merely saying hello.


    The campus bus still had yet to arrive, and Xu Qichen looked like he wanted to leave. Song Yu saw that he was carrying a lot of things, his suitcase very large, and his heart slightly softened. He honestly wasn¡¯t someone who was eager to help others, but he thought about Xia Zhixu, thought about Yue Zhishi ¡ª if either of them were here, they wouldn¡¯t leave Xu Qichen behind and ignore him.


    So he walked up and helped Xu Qichen carry a luggage bag.


    ¡°Your dorm should be nearby if you can get by without taking the bus.¡± Song Yu glanced at the residence form in his hand. ¡°I¡¯ll go with you.¡±


    ¡°No need.¡± That was the first sentence out of Xu Qichen¡¯s mouth since he arrived. He didn¡¯t look well at all, looking as if he¡¯d fall over with just one gust of wind.


    Song Yu frowned and asked a question even he thought was very absurd. ¡°Are you okay?¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡± Xu Qichen didn¡¯t look at him. ¡°Quite well.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t look too well,¡± Song Yu said, very frankly.


    Xu Qichen finally lifted his face and gazed at Song Yu. ¡°Is there any need for me to lie?¡±


    Song Yu paused, momentarily unable to answer. It¡¯s not like he was Xu Qichen¡¯s friend; at the most, he was only a friend of a friend.


    ¡°I heard about what happened before. Xia Zhixu was also very worried after he heard you got into trouble.¡±


    What he said was true, but in reality it was also a bunch of useless words. There was no way Xu Qichen didn¡¯t know about it, so after he finished speaking, Xu Qichen remained expressionless. The sun was very bright, and the two of them stood in a place without any shade, facing each other.


    ¡°Thank you for telling me.¡± Xu Qichen stared at the shadows on the ground, the black spreading without a single obstacle.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t want him to be like this, so for Xia Zhixu, he tried to get something from him. ¡°Xu Qichen¡­¡±


    ¡°Do you think it¡¯s a pity?¡± Xu Qichen suddenly raised his head and looked directly at Song Yu.


    Song Yu froze.


    ¡°What¡¯s so pitiful about it?¡± Xu Qichen laughed. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with being like this?¡±


    Rumours were the best way to destroy a person. Song Yu knew this, especially when it came to someone as sensitive as Xu Qichen, but he kept feeling that the two of them shouldn¡¯t have ended up like this. But at this very moment, as he took in Xu Qichen and the way he acted, a seed of doubt grew in his heart.


    ¡°You don¡¯t regret leaving so decisively at all?¡±


    Xu Qichen laughed again, the cicadas drowning out his soft laughter. ¡°If there was anything for me to regret, I should regret many things. I should regret getting my parents to take me out on a trip after my high school entrance exams. I should regret the fact only I survived the accident ¡ª I should regret getting on that bus the first day of high school and meeting Xia Zhixu.¡±


    His voice was a bit shaky, and he paused for a few seconds before he continued, voice steady. ¡°No, maybe the last thing I should regret is meeting him. After all, he is the person who pulled me back up to my feet again.¡±


    A few girls chatting and laughing arrived. They were most likely new students too, their words and voices filled with expectation, with hope.


    On a day when everything can be started all over again, who wouldn¡¯t look towards the future with hope?


    Xu Qichen took his luggage from Song Yu and said, ¡°But if I were to relive my life again, I would rather have never met him.¡±


    He politely gave Song Yu a slight smile, almost as quiet and calm as the first time they¡¯d met. He expressed his gratitude. ¡°If you really want me to live well, then pretend you don¡¯t know me. We¡¯re in two different departments after all, so we shouldn¡¯t see each other often.¡±


    ¡°If I see you, I¡¯ll keep thinking about him. I don¡¯t want to be like that anymore.¡±


    The bus appeared, and that cheerful group of girls got on while Xu Qichen left by himself.


    Song Yu sunk into an indescribable emotion. He entered the bus, and the inside was very cramped, giving him no way to breathe. On the very first day of classes, in a new environment, he bumped into a familiar face who couldn¡¯t really be called an old friend, but the other person was already no longer the same as before.


    He was assigned to a relatively new building for his dormitory. There were four people to a room, and he was the first one to arrive. The dormitory room wasn¡¯t as spacious as his room at home, and Song Yu opened the window, feeling quite empty. He didn¡¯t really want to pause and rest, so he started making his bed, spreading open his mattress cover and bedsheets, tidying and cleaning until finally, he opened his one and only suitcase.


    He¡¯d brought a pitifully small amount of things. The left side of the suitcase held his usual clothes and daily items, while the right side was mostly taken up by a large gift box and a photo album.


    Song Yu pulled out the photo album, flipping through the pages. It was filled with a child who looked like a western doll.


    Following Yue Zhishi¡¯s orders, Song Yu grabbed out the starting school gift he¡¯d been given many days ago and sat on a chair. He silently opened the packaging.


    He¡¯d actually already thought of many possibilities of what outrageous toy he might receive this time, but the gift he finally received was very different from what he¡¯d imagined.


    Yue Zhishi gifted him a globe.


    The base and the stand were both carved by hand, the detailing very exquisite, and were covered with a layer of metallic copper polish. And the actual globe ¡ª the rivers, mountains and land, the seven oceans and four continents, the latitude and longitude lines ¡ª every minute detail,  every little mark, was personally hand drawn by Yue Zhishi as he copied the markings from a real globe.


    It was very hard for Song Yu to imagine just how much time Yue Zhishi had spent on it.


    Song Yu stared at the heavy globe in his hand, and the only thing he could think of was what Xu Qichen had said earlier.


    People who¡¯d lost all hope could choose to not see each other in order to cut their losses. But there was no way for him to cut away this relationship ¡ª from that rainy night Yue Zhishi had trespassed into his life, Song Yu had become an older brother even if he hadn¡¯t wanted to, even if he didn¡¯t want to stay as one. There was no way to reverse time ¡ª everything they¡¯d gone through had become memories and bonds caging him in place.


    Sometimes, Song Yu truly would rather they were strangers and have the kind of beginnings strangers had.


    But he once again had no way to give up those memories of growing up together.


    At his heart, he was actually the one person who was deeply trapped in contradictory thoughts and yet who was unable to give anything up.


    In his quiet dorm, Song Yu placed the globe in his hand onto his desk. The active and noisy voices of many new students passed through the window, and they were filled with the spark of youth. He leaned against his chair, his long arm resting on top of his desk, and lightly touched the globe with a fingertip. The globe gently swayed, as if it was blown by a breeze.


    This globe rested peacefully on his desk and stayed with him through many late, sleepless nights as he studied.


    The first time it rained, Song Yu was outside and kept worrying if the window in the dorm was tightly shut. Later, he didn¡¯t want to worry, so he directly placed it under a glass cover.


    The cherry blossoms started to bloom in March, and the petals occasionally drifted in only to be blocked outside the glass with no way to fall onto a single river drawn by Yue Zhishi.


    When it snowed, the dorm was very cold. A thin layer of white fog often covered the glass, the small globe turning hazy and indistinct.


    Sometimes he touched it with a fingertip, gently brushing against the glass cover and leaving behind a fingerprint or even a name. But his mark never stayed for long and was very quickly wiped away.


    As if nothing had ever happened.


    The person hiding under the cover, and his globe, were both very safe.


    ¡°This globe of Song Yu¡¯s has been sitting on his desk for almost three years now. It looks almost brand new.¡± Roommate Chen Fangyuan ate some potato chips as he bent over to look closely at Song Yu¡¯s globe, looking closer than if he was at a museum. ¡°It¡¯s drawn so well. This is the first time I¡¯m looking at it from such a close distance.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t you touch it. He won¡¯t be happy when he comes out of the shower.¡± One of their other roommates, and also the dormitory leader, Wang Chengzhi was packing away some things. He zipped close his bag and looked outside at the dark and gloomy sky. ¡°It looks like it¡¯s going to storm. I need to hurry up and go home, my mom¡¯s still waiting for me to eat lunch together.¡±


    ¡°Go, go.¡± Chen Fangyuan stood up straight, stretching. ¡°Old Liu is with his girlfriend, and you need to go home. Everyone¡¯s leaving. I¡¯m going to hang out at my little brother¡¯s place in a bit. Only our tall and handsome Song Yu will stay and keep this empty room company.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t believe him, he¡¯s clearly a local. He never goes home and keeps locking himself away in the research lab.¡±


    As the two of them spoke, Song Yu came out of the bathroom, drying his hair. Seeing Wang Chengzhi was about to leave, he reminded him, ¡°Remember to bring an umbrella.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry.¡± Wang Chengzhi shrugged on his backpack. ¡°I¡¯ll bring back some of my mom¡¯s braised beef for you.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll go downstairs with you and borrow your umbrella while we¡¯re at it.¡±


    ¡°How many umbrellas have you lost this semester, really¡­¡±


    The dorm once again calmed down. He blew dry his hair as the sky turned darker. It was the morning, and yet it looked as if it was night time. He sat back at his desk, and Song Yu turned on his desk lamp, opening a book, when his phone vibrated. He didn¡¯t look at it, thinking it was a roommate.


    But his phone didn¡¯t just vibrate once ¡ª it vibrated twice, then three times, the notifications consistently popping up on his screen. Only one person texted him this way.


    So Song Yu placed down his book and unlocked his phone.


    [Yue Zhishi: Gege, it¡¯s my monthly break]


    [Yue Zhishi: Aunt Rong said she¡¯s made some soup for you, but she can¡¯t come. She asked if I had time, and guess what I said?]


    [Yue Zhishi: ¡°What kind of good luck is this?¡±]


    [Yue Zhishi: And all that is the context. I¡¯m going to your school to look for you, I¡¯ll get there in the afternoon]


    [Yue Zhishi: Gege, wait for me]

 CH 39

    Chapter 39: To Meet By Chance


    Yue Zhishi was still in his classroom when he sent across his messages. After hearing they¡¯d be let out early for their monthly break, he was too excited to sit still and for the first time, sneakily used his phone while his teacher was still standing at the podium.


    He was so excited, he completely missed the reason why they were being released for their monthly break so early in the morning.


    In the classroom, his classmates were all delighted at the news, and the class adviser once again stressed, ¡°The storm warning this time is level red and might be the largest amount of rain we¡¯ve had so far this year. Those who live at school, try not to leave if you can. Safety comes first¡­¡±


    Yue Zhishi was entirely focused on his WeChat. He¡¯d thought he would have needed to wait for a long time, but Song Yu¡¯s reply came faster than he¡¯d imagined.


    [Xiao Yu gege: It¡¯s raining today, don¡¯t come.]


    Yue Zhishi drew his eyebrows together, not quite happy with his reply.


    [Yue Zhishi: No way, I agreed to it last night. If you don¡¯t come see me, then I¡¯ll go look for you at your research lab building.]


    After he finished typing, Yue Zhishi lifted his head and saw everyone was already packing their things away to go home, so he stuffed his phone into his pocket and quickly got himself ready as well. His phone was set to silent mode ¡ª Yue Zhishi only remembered after he¡¯d gotten on the bus home. He immediately looked at it, and as expected, there was a reply sent two minutes after he¡¯d sent out his own.


    [Xiao Yu gege: What time]


    There was another message right under it, only one minute separating the two.


    [Xiao Yu gege: I need to go to the lab right now, there¡¯s a bunch of new data I need to organise and remodel. Let me know when you¡¯re almost here, and I¡¯ll come out and get you. Remember to bring an umbrella, and be careful on your way here.]


    Song Yu usually didn¡¯t speak much, but he often explained himself very clearly even though Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know what his work was and what he needed to do.


    Yue Zhishi silently reread Song Yu¡¯s messages and thought their conversation felt a bit stiff, so he sent over a sticker of a little puppy nodding, making their chat feel a lot gentler.


    [Yue Zhishi: I¡¯ll arrive at 6pm.]


    He didn¡¯t want to tell Song Yu he¡¯d been let out early ¡ª he wanted to give him a surprise. It was fine even if Song Yu needed to study; he could always sit next to him and not bother him.


    It would be very nice to see him earlier.


    When he got home, Lin Rong was just pouring the finished soup into an insulated container. She praised Peiya for having a conscience when she heard he was released early, but she was still a bit worried at Yue Zhishi going to Wuhan U.


    Lin Rong waited for Yue Zhishi to come down again after changing his clothes and said, ¡°If you go over in the afternoon, what are you going to do if it starts storming? It¡¯s really not safe enough if you¡¯re in a car.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was wearing a smoky blue short-sleeved t-shirt with a pair of black jeans, and his outfit emphasised his long arms and legs and his pale, glowing skin. He held a black baseball cap and went to sit in front of the dining table, pushing a small piece of cantaloupe into his mouth with a fork. ¡°Then I¡¯ll take the subway. It goes directly there anyway even if it¡¯s a bit slower.¡±


    ¡°Why don¡¯t I go instead.¡± Lin Rong was still anxious. ¡°I¡¯ll drive over there and then head to the high-speed rail from Wuhan U.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t, it¡¯ll be too much of a hassle. You¡¯re only taking the high-speed rail because your flight was cancelled. What if your train¡¯s delayed?¡± Yue Zhishi chose a bigger piece of fruit and stretched out his arm until the cantaloupe piece rested next to Lin Rong¡¯s mouth. ¡°Aunt Rong, don¡¯t worry, nothing will happen.¡±


    Yue Zhishi added, ¡°Besides, I was already planning to head over earlier. It¡¯s 10am right now, and I¡¯ll get there right in time to eat lunch with gege. I still haven¡¯t tried Wuhan U¡¯s cafeterias.¡±


    Lin Rong felt this plan was workable and placed the insulation container into a bag. ¡°You¡¯ve already discussed it with your brother?¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded but didn¡¯t tell Lin Rong about his planned surprise. ¡°He said he¡¯ll pick me up at the entrance.¡±


    ¡°Your brother, really¡­ It would be nice if he came home more.¡± Lin Rong knelt down and opened the oven door, her voice carrying a slight hint of grumbling. ¡°He only came home once every three months last year. He still has yet to come back after starting school again after the summer holidays.¡± Lin Rong had made some salted-egg puffs and flower pastries specifically for Song Yu¡¯s roommates, and they had just finished in the oven and were ready to be packed away.


    ¡°Maybe he¡¯s too busy. They all say some university studies are scarier than third year of high school.¡± Yue Zhishi helped Lin Rong wrap and place the pastries into another container before also putting it into his school bag. Both of the pastries were made without any wheat flour, so he tried some as he was putting them away. The salted-egg puff still had a warm, gooey centre, was particularly fragrant and was very delicious.


    Lin Rong released her ponytail after packing up the food and cleaning up the kitchen. ¡°I don¡¯t think so, that guy might¡¯ve found himself a girlfriend. He might be too busy hanging out with his girlfriend at school, so he doesn¡¯t want to come home.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was just about to pull on his bag. He froze at Lin Rong¡¯s words.


    Lin Rong always liked teasing her children, but her teasing was never truly serious ¡ª she always forgot what she said immediately after, always changing the topic of the conversation faster than anyone else. ¡°It¡¯s fine if you¡¯re going to eat on campus, but please be careful and don¡¯t eat anything you can¡¯t eat.¡± She added some nutritional supplements into Yue Zhishi¡¯s bag. ¡°Is it heavy? If it is, let¡¯s take some things out.¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Yue Zhishi lifted his head and looked at the clock. It wasn¡¯t early anymore, so he turned around and urged Lin Rong to hurry to the high-speed rail.


    The two of them ended up leaving together. Lin Rong sent Yue Zhishi to the subway station, placing an umbrella in his hand, and kept giving him reminders as if he was a young child. Yue Zhishi said, laughing, ¡°Why don¡¯t you come together with me? Don¡¯t go to uncle anymore, we can have a two person day trip to Wuhan U.¡±


    Only then did Lin Rong start to relax. She smiled and said, ¡°Then your uncle will be too pitiful. All right, hurry up and get on the subway.¡±


    ¡°Okay. Give me a video call when you get there.¡± Yue Zhishi got on the escalator and waved back at Lin Rong.


    There were many people in the subway station, the majority of them either students on a break or people who¡¯d come out to play on the weekend. Yue Zhishi got on his train and, with a very good stroke of luck, found an empty seat. He sat down, and a young couple stood in front of him, the man quite tall. The man¡¯s right hand held onto the strap handle, while his left hand held onto his girlfriend¡¯s waist. The woman stood a bit unsteadily, her arms wrapped around her boyfriend¡¯s entire waist as she leaned against his chest, looking as if she was greatly reluctant to let go.


    There was very little distance between the couple and Yue Zhishi. He felt it was a bit impolite to keep staring at them, especially since the woman had already, maybe intentionally or not, glanced at him, so he pulled his cap lower onto his face and closed his eyes, pretending to sleep.


    He thought he would only pretend to sleep, but Yue Zhishi actually did fall asleep. When he woke up, the couple was already gone, and the train cabin was still just as full as before. The train arrived at a stop, and coincidentally enough, it was the one Yue Zhishi needed to get off at.


    There were so many people. Yue Zhishi immediately stood up, carrying his backpack and holding the insulation container, and pushed against the people tightly packed inside the cabin like sardines. He finally managed to get out right as the doors were about to close. Yue Zhishi felt like he¡¯d been reborn, like a fish who¡¯d managed to escape from a fish pot back to the ocean.


    He climbed onto the escalator, emotionally sighing in his heart about how lucky he was today ¡ª there just so happened to be an empty seat, and he just so happened to wake up as the train arrived at his stop. But he was struck dumb when he reached the entrance to the subway and saw the rain pouring down like a waterfall.


    An old granny was at the entrance selling some things with a stall, and she tilted her head to watch as this beautiful boy patted down his body, looking as if he¡¯d just had something stolen. He then turned around to face the subway, frustrated, and walked only two steps before spinning back around and staring blankly at the storm.


    She tentatively asked, ¡°Little handsome boy, would you like to buy an umbrella? Fifteen yuan for one, very cheap. It¡¯s my last one.¡±


    And then her wish was fulfilled.


    Yue Zhishi bought her last umbrella. It was long and transparent, and as he opened it, getting ready to leave, he saw the old granny lower her head and arrange the wet items lying on her stall. Fresh gardenia and magnolia flowers were neatly laid out, and there weren¡¯t many left.


    Glancing at the heavy rain, Yue Zhishi paused. He crouched down and softly asked, ¡°Granny, how much for these flowers?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯d like some flowers?¡± The old granny was a little surprised at first, but then she very quickly gave Yue Zhishi a price. A fresh magnolia flower earring hung from her earlobe, and as she spoke, it lightly rocked back and forth, dispersing a light fragrance into the air.


    The subway entrance was overcrowded with people. Everyone was very busy, hurrying to and fro, and not many people cared about this faint flower fragrance.


    ¡°I¡¯d like all of them.¡±


    The old granny smiled from ear to ear and carefully wrapped up the flowers for him. ¡°You must be giving them to your girlfriend. I¡¯ll wrap them up for you. You can display them for a few days, they smell very nice.¡±


    Yue Zhishi gave her his money, and then very truthfully said, smiling, ¡°I don¡¯t have a girlfriend.¡±


    ¡°Aiyah, no way, how could a good-looking boy like you not have a girlfriend.¡± She encased the flowers in a layer of transparent foil before handing it to Yue Zhishi. ¡°I¡¯m here every day. You¡¯re the most handsome boy I¡¯ve ever seen.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was a bit shy at all her praise. He helped her put away her stall and repeatedly urged her home, saying the storm will last for a very long time.


    He started to leave the subway station only after he watched the old granny walk a far distance away with an old, checkered umbrella. He carried the transparent umbrella he hadn¡¯t really needed to buy and headed towards Wuhan U.


    After starting high school, Yue Zhishi would occasionally ask to visit Song Yu during his school breaks, but his requests were denied more often than not. He also knew Song Yu was very busy and didn¡¯t have much time to accompany him, so he later stopped trying. He¡¯d only come by once, when Lin Rong wanted to see Song Yu and brought Yue Zhishi along, but he didn¡¯t get the chance to enter Song Yu¡¯s dormitory.


    And then afterwards, he too became busier and busier. There were less and less school breaks, and so he had no appropriate excuse to come to Wuhan U.


    The torrential rain never stopped, the raindrops loudly drumming onto his umbrella. The ground was already flooded by a layer of water, and Yue Zhishi¡¯s pair of canvas shoes was very quickly drenched. Wuhan U was truly too large ¡ª he was lost as soon as he went in. Yue Zhishi tried looking for where he needed to go through the map app on his phone, but he ended up needing to stop a girl to ask for directions. He finally managed to find that very hidden school building.


    The time had just passed 12pm. The sky was dark and gloomy, the storm clouds covering over half the sky. Since he arrived so early, maybe he¡¯d be able to get Song Yu to eat lunch with him. Yue Zhishi knew very well Song Yu never paid much attention to his meals and would often forget to eat whenever he was busy. If no one pushed for him to eat at this time, it was very unlikely for him to have already eaten.


    He started to imagine how Song Yu would react when he saw him ¡ª he¡¯d definitely immediately blame Yue Zhishi for not informing him ahead of time and ruining his plans. And then, with a slightly reluctant face, he¡¯d tell him he can¡¯t do this again next time before he took him somewhere to eat.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s footsteps paused as he was about to reach the building. He changed the hand carrying the insulation container, using the other hand to hold his umbrella since his wrist was starting to get a bit sore. A gust of wind blew just as he was changing things over, and the umbrella was almost blown upside down. Yue Zhishi raised a hand to steady the umbrella, but then his cap was lifted away by the wind and fell to the ground, the rain very quickly soaking through it.


    Yue Zhishi wanted to bend over and pick his cap back up, but no matter how he juggled the items in his hands, the umbrella and container sat very awkwardly in his arms. He was too tired. He stood there, looking up and sighing, when he abruptly saw a familiar figure come out of that school building.


    It was Song Yu.


    There was nothing more coincidental than this. Yue Zhishi was about to call out his name, but then he saw a short and petite girl come out next to him. The two of them stood quite closely, a black umbrella in Song Yu¡¯s hand, and the girl kept looking at him with her head raised as she spoke. She was standing slightly on her tiptoes and didn¡¯t stop talking while Song Yu occasionally nodded and briefly replied a few words.


    He didn¡¯t know why, but when he saw Song Yu nodding, Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart inexplicably and unconsciously sprouted a sense of discouragement, of anxiety, and it urged him to leave this place. The rain was pouring very heavily onto his umbrella, the ground ¡ª it was everywhere, and nothing was able to dodge from it.


    Yue Zhishi was worrying about his cap just a second ago, but now he didn¡¯t have the ability to think about it anymore. He turned around, used the umbrella to block half of his body, and left the place with hasty footsteps before he quickly started to run.


    He could feel that there was much more water on the ground than before. His pants already belonged to the rain, and even though his upper half of his body hadn¡¯t been rained on, the feeling of cold dampness spreading from his lower half and travelling upwards trapped him, making him uncomfortable. He ran without thinking, exiting from a little alleyway, and tried to find a place he could sit and hide from the rain. Because he truly was tired.


    When he escaped, the splashes from his footsteps made a little noise, but the sound very quickly disappeared in the unstoppable heavy rain. More and more students started to gather together underneath the school building, and they were all discussing which cafeteria to go to for lunch.


    ¡°Song Yu? Are you still listening?¡±


    Song Yu brought his gaze back, but he was still frowning. He somewhat perfunctorily apologised for his loss of attention. ¡°Sorry.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s okay.¡± The girl smiled very brightly and looked like she didn¡¯t really care. ¡°We can talk about the rest in the afternoon. Let¡¯s go eat first.¡± She felt she¡¯d invited him very naturally, with a low possibility of being rejected.


    But she didn¡¯t expect Song Yu to lower his head, pulling out his phone and calling someone, before he somewhat absentmindedly said to her, ¡°I have something to do, I¡¯m not eating anymore.¡±


    ¡°Ah? Not eating?¡± The girl was dumbfounded for a moment, then she leaned closer a bit and looked at Song Yu. She noticed his attention was no longer on her, and he¡¯d even already pulled a slight distance away.


    She tried a new different tactic, a bit of plea entering her face. She said, voice very soft, ¡°Then can you send me to my dorm? I didn¡¯t bring an umbrella. It¡¯s very close, just over there.¡±


    The rain really was too heavy, and the students around them were all mostly sharing their umbrellas as they quickly departed. She focused on Song Yu, and seeing him call again without anyone picking up the phone, she¡¯d thought he didn¡¯t hear her request and prepared to ask again.


    ¡°You can borrow it.¡± Song Yu gave the umbrella to the girl, and then he ran into the rain.


    The girl stood there with the umbrella, frozen. She didn¡¯t understand why Song Yu suddenly had something so urgent ¡ª so urgent to the point he¡¯d rather throw his only umbrella to her than send her to her dorm.


    There was no way for her to guess this, but it was very obvious ¡ª all of this was solely because of a similar receding figure that held a slight hint of possibility.


    Holding his umbrella, Yue Zhishi felt like he was a stray dog who¡¯d suffered through a rough journey. He was pulled down by the rain, his steps slow and heavy. He didn¡¯t know how, but he arrived at a random cafeteria, ceiling to floor windows covering the airy first floor mess hall. It looked very clean inside, so he padded up the steps, closed his umbrella and went in.


    When he sat down at a seat near the window, Yue Zhishi finally placed down all of the items in his hands. The palms of his hands had turned red from being strangled, so he kneaded them. He wanted to see if he¡¯d brought any tissues, and as he searched his body, he ended up taking out only his phone.


    The screen lit up. There were four missed calls, all from Song Yu.


    Yue Zhishi jumped in shock, and he suddenly remembered he still had yet to turn his phone back onto vibrate mode because of his usual school habits. The phone hadn¡¯t sounded at all. He hurriedly lifted his phone, preparing to call back, but the other side was faster and called again. Yue Zhishi was a bit afraid, and he trembled as he picked up the call.


    ¡°Where are you right now? Why didn¡¯t you pick up your phone?¡± Song Yu didn¡¯t sound happy, and his voice was very different from usual ¡ª very urgent, and sounded like he was angry.


    Yue Zhishi wanted to answer his question, but he really didn¡¯t know where he was. He exited the phone call screen in a fluster, wanting to look at the map, but he was also worried he¡¯d miss Song Yu speaking. He could only stand up and ask someone nearby, ¡°Excuse me, can you please tell me which cafeteria this is?¡±


    On the other side of the phone, Song Yu could hear the person¡¯s very fuzzy answer. He immediately said, ¡°Wait for me.¡±


    Yue Zhishi returned back to his seat next to the glass window and lowered his head to look at his call screen displaying the hung up phone call. He put his phone down on the table, and after two seconds, he lifted it back up again to turn it to vibrate mode.


    He couldn¡¯t think. Yue Zhishi¡¯s head dropped, and he stared at the red mark on his palm and the plastic bag drenched by rain. He pulled open the bag and rustled through it without lifting his head ¡ª the flowers inside were still intact and were still very fragrant.


    What happened today wasn¡¯t exactly what he¡¯d thought would happen before he came. It was a lot messier and much more panicked. He started to think his good luck had once again slipped away.


    After only a short moment, his phone once again vibrated. Yue Zhishi immediately picked up the call, placing the phone next to his ear.


    ¡°Which floor are you on?¡±


    Knowing he might¡¯ve already arrived, Yue Zhishi twisted around to look towards the door as he explained where he was to Song Yu. ¡°I¡¯m on the first floor, near the big door. Turn right after you come in, and you should be able to see me. I¡¯m wearing¡­¡±


    ¡°A blue shirt,¡± Song Yu said first.


    The voice over the phone turned pensive. ¡°I¡¯ve found you.¡±


    So quickly? Yue Zhishi looked all around him in bewilderment, searching for Song Yu¡¯s voice, when he suddenly heard the sound of something knocking on the glass from behind his back.


    Dong dong¡ª¡ª


    He twisted his head around. Song Yu was just outside, holding on his phone, his entire body saturated from the rain. Only one layer of clear glass made hazy by the rain separated him from Yue Zhishi.


    His raised knuckles were still resting against the glass window, and the little area he was touching was also splotched with water marks.


    As if something was controlling his body, Yue Zhishi lifted his palm and laid it against the window, covering Song Yu¡¯s knuckles. But then, in the next second, he felt what he¡¯d done was too foolish and awkwardly wanted to take his hand back.


    But Song Yu was always faster.


    His bent knuckles spread open, his palm flipped over, and he very naturally rested it against Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand.


    ¡°Why¡¯d you run?¡±


    Song Yu was standing in front of him, and yet his voice came to him through the phone. He sounded much more relaxed than before, and this made Yue Zhishi feel as if he¡¯d entered into a trance. But as soon as Song Yu finished speaking, he dropped his hand back down to his body, and he left, walking towards the cafeteria.


    Seeing as Song Yu couldn¡¯t see him, Yue Zhishi frowned, thinking of how he¡¯d looked as he desperately ran away earlier. There was no way for him to explain. He decided to take a chance ¡ª he felt Song Yu actually hadn¡¯t seen him, and had only guessed that he ran away.


    Song Yu arrived in front of him without giving him much time to think, hanging up his phone. His face was covered with water droplets, his short hair and eyebrows completely wet, and even his eyelashes carried tiny drops of water. He clearly should look a lot messier, and yet all the water created a kind of strange, bewitching air around him.


    There shouldn¡¯t be anyone who didn¡¯t like that face, Yue Zhishi thought. He completely forgot why Song Yu would be drenched to this extent, when he¡¯d clearly brought an umbrella.


    Song Yu asked again, ¡°Why did you run earlier?¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t.¡± Yue Zhishi was subconsciously reluctant to admit it. ¡°You can see how much stuff I¡¯m carrying. How could I run?¡± He finally quietly grumbled, ¡°I only just arrived.¡±


    ¡°Do you think you¡¯re good at lying?¡± Song Yu flicked an eyebrow as he spoke.


    Even though his voice didn¡¯t sound gentle at all, Yue Zhishi could clearly feel ¡ª after seeing him, Song Yu was no longer as urgent as he was earlier on the phone. He¡¯d slowed down, and was also no longer as angry.


    But this kind of change was too slight for someone as serious and reserved as Song Yu. Anyone else might think there was no difference in him at all, and that Yue Zhishi was only thinking too much.


    He gazed straight at Song Yu¡¯s black eyes, and after an inner struggle, he finally admitted defeat. ¡°You saw me? You shouldn¡¯t have, you clearly hadn¡¯t noticed me before I turned around.¡± He was very sure about this bit ¡ª he¡¯d even used his umbrella to block himself.


    Song Yu set down the cap he¡¯d lost earlier.


    For a similar body silhouette, he¡¯d run into a torrential downpour.


    That reason was too ridiculous, so he made one up on the spot.


    ¡°Your umbrella¡¯s transparent.¡±

 CH 40

    Chapter 40: An Isolated Island in the Rain


    ¡°Ah¡­¡± Yue Zhishi lowered his head and looked at his still wet umbrella. It really was transparent.


    He was too foolish, trying to use a see-through umbrella as a shield.


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you say 6pm?¡± Song Yu asked.


    Yue Zhishi pursed his lips and ended up clearly laying out his failed surprise plan to Song Yu. Song Yu didn¡¯t look too surprised, only nodding, and then asked if he¡¯d eaten.


    ¡°Not yet.¡± Yue Zhishi shook his head, explaining he¡¯d come straight over after going home, but then he stood back up, taking his bag and preparing to leave. ¡°Can your cafeterias pack food for takeaway? I don¡¯t want to eat here, you¡¯re already drenched through. Let¡¯s go back first and shower.¡±


    Song Yu silently accepted his suggestion and stood up as well, very naturally taking Yue Zhishi¡¯s bag off his shoulder and pulling it over his own before he went to grab the bag with the insulation container. He only said, ¡°Hold your umbrella.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± Yue Zhishi securely held onto his umbrella and his flowers, and he followed behind his gege. Song Yu queried if there was anything he wanted to eat, but Yue Zhishi only said he wasn¡¯t hungry ¡ª he was completely focused on getting Song Yu into the shower, worried that he might be cold.


    But Song Yu looked like he already had a destination in mind. He didn¡¯t consider too much and went directly to a window with a long line. He paused and squinted towards the front.


    Yue Zhishi really liked this little movement of his ¡ª the little squint felt like something a big cat would do, and he felt it was very cute. Even though Song Yu and the word ¡®cute¡¯ were two completely isolated things, sometimes, that description would unconsciously jump out into Yue Zhishi¡¯s mind.


    There were many people waiting in line. Yue Zhishi wanted to help Song Yu carry a bag, but he was rejected. Song Yu¡¯s fingers were still dripping with water; Yue Zhishi stretched out a fingertip and caught the droplets of water as they fell.


    ¡°Where¡¯s your umbrella?¡± he asked Song Yu.


    Song Yu very quickly replied, ¡°I¡¯ve lent it to someone.¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought about what he¡¯d seen under the school building. ¡°Did you lend it to that girl? You only had one umbrella, and yet you still gave it to her.¡±


    If I¡¯d known, I would¡¯ve gone to pick you up.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to share an umbrella with other people.¡± The crowd of people slightly shifted upwards. Song Yu then said, ¡°She¡¯s a classmate in the same group as me. There were some issues in our data collection, so she wanted to discuss it with me.¡±


    So that¡¯s what happened. Yue Zhishi nodded. ¡°Then next time don¡¯t lend out your umbrella. Ah, no, that¡¯s not good.¡± He himself felt that suggestion wasn¡¯t too chivalrous, so he changed what he was about to say. ¡°If you¡¯d called out to me, I would¡¯ve stopped running. You wouldn¡¯t have gotten wet.¡±


    Song Yu wanted to say something, his lips moving, but he decided to give it up. He felt like Yue Zhishi might not even understand himself, so there was no need to confuse him even more.


    They lined up to buy two portions of pineapple rice, and then they went to other windows to buy steamed Wuchang-style fish, water spinach with minced garlic and sweet and sour pork. They took them all back to Song Yu¡¯s dormitory.


    Using his already drenched body as an excuse, Song Yu told Yue Zhishi to hold his umbrella by himself, but Yue Zhishi completely refused, insisting on sticking next to Song Yu. So Song Yu, who¡¯d said he wasn¡¯t willing to share an umbrella with others, actively chose to lift up the umbrella, even though most of the clear umbrella was mainly tilted towards Yue Zhishi¡¯s side.


    After Yue Zhishi noticed, he pushed Song Yu¡¯s wrist, but it wasn¡¯t all that effective ¡ª after a little while, the umbrella naturally crept over again, as if it was some kind of unreasonable set routine.


    There were more and more puddles of water, and even though none of them were higher than their ankles, Yue Zhishi¡¯s pants were already wet to his knees. He jokingly called it the capillary effect. A quickly moving girl passed by ahead of them, one hand supporting an umbrella and her other hand holding a big bag of fruit. She used only her ring finger and pinky to carry a bowl of beef noodles, and it all looked very precarious, very dangerous ¡ª and yet everything stayed securely in place.


    When it rained, people would always become very interesting. They walked around and around, and Yue Zhishi complained to Song Yu that he¡¯d almost gotten lost when he first arrived. ¡°I shouldn¡¯t have come in through the main entrance. I walked really far and got really confused, I later found an older sister near the old science building to point me in the right direction.¡±


    As he spoke, a car flew past. Yue Zhishi could see the incoming splashes, but he didn¡¯t manage to dodge in time. He only felt his waist being pulled, his entire body dragged over, and then he completely escaped the water.


    The car was already very far away.


    Song Yu¡¯s hand didn¡¯t drop away in time, and it still rested on Yue Zhishi¡¯s waist. He turned around to look at that car, and then he turned back around, his mind still on what Yue Zhishi had just been complaining about. ¡°You even managed to get lost on Cherry Blossom Avenue.¡±


    Maybe because his words held the slightest hint of ridicule, but Yue Zhishi¡¯s ear was a bit warm. He lowered his eyes and weakly said, ¡°I can¡¯t tell which one is Cherry Blossom Avenue when there aren¡¯t any cherry blossoms. It looks the same as any other road.¡±


    Song Yu felt there was a bit of logic in his words, so he didn¡¯t bother to retort. He only then realised the position of his hand wasn¡¯t quite right, so he lowered it while pretending nothing had happened. ¡°Let¡¯s go, we¡¯re almost there.¡±


    The dormitory building was older than Yue Zhishi had imagined. He used to think Song Yu, with his obsession with cleanliness, wouldn¡¯t really want to live in a dorm and might even go home often when he couldn¡¯t get used to living there. But this thought very quickly disappeared in smoke.


    Song Yu greeted the auntie in charge of the building and brought Yue Zhishi upstairs. The light in the building wasn¡¯t quite bright enough, but as soon as he opened his dorm room, the south-facing room still looked bright and spacious. There was no one else in the room. Yue Zhishi walked in, looking left and looking right, and then finally stared at their window. He really liked it ¡ª fresh greenery, soaked with rain, lay outside their window.


    He could immediately tell which was Song Yu¡¯s desk. It was as clean and fastidious as he always kept his desks. ¡°Is this your bed?¡± Yue Zhishi raised his head to look at it, the bed linen pretty much the same as the ones he used at home, all of them a very cool, dark grey colour.


    ¡°Mn.¡± Song Yu placed down their items. His clothes were so wet they stuck onto his body, so he went into his closet to find two outfits, giving one of them to Yue Zhishi. ¡°Everything¡¯s new, I haven¡¯t worn them before. You can change into them later.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay even if you¡¯ve worn them before.¡± Yue Zhishi scooped up a bit of the pineapple rice into his mouth. The rice was moist and sticky, and there were even pieces of nuts and raisins. ¡°This one¡¯s really yummy, it¡¯s a bit sweet.¡± He picked up a bit and sent it across to Song Yu¡¯s mouth. ¡°Have some.¡±


    Song Yu took a bite, but then he frowned, looking as if he didn¡¯t really like it. Yue Zhishi thought it was strange. ¡°Why¡¯d you buy it if you don¡¯t like it?¡±


    ¡°I haven¡¯t tried it before. There¡¯s always a line in front of this stall, and everyone always says it¡¯s good,¡± Song Yu carelessly said, and then he went into the bathroom with his clothes.


    Haven¡¯t tried it before.


    Yue Zhishi lowered his head to look at the pineapple rice, jabbing it twice with his spoon ¡ª something flashed across his heart and disappeared.


    Taking the chance while Song Yu was showering, Yue Zhishi sent a message to Lin Rong, asking if she was already on the train. He didn¡¯t get an immediate reply, but the other phone on the desk vibrated, the screen lighting up. It was Song Yu¡¯s phone. Yue Zhishi accidentally saw the content on the screen.


    [Daisyyy: Song Yu, I left your umbrella on your seat, thank you. I bought you a cup of milk tea too, remember to drink it.]


    That sense of feeling uncomfortable once again flooded back, like rain that never truly went away. Yue Zhishi pressed the lock button for Song Yu, and the screen turned black. He looked around the surface of the desk, wanting to find something to do, so he turned around and placed the wet cap and umbrella nearby to dry. He then opened his schoolbag and pulled out the salted-egg puffs and flower pastries Lin Rong had stuffed inside, separating them out portion by portion before he placed them onto the desks of Song Yu¡¯s roommates.


    Having finished giving the items away, he then grabbed the takeaway food and arranged them for eating; he also poured a cup of steamy hot soup for Song Yu into the insulation container¡¯s cap. He flicked his head over and saw the flowers he¡¯d bought were hanging from a chair ¡ª Yue Zhishi pulled them out of the bag, shook off the water droplets on them, and displayed them on the wall in front of Song Yu¡¯s desk.


    The flowers looked very out of place, but they looked very warm and comfortable.


    After taking a photo, he sent it across to Lin Rong. As he stared at the chat between him and Lin Rong, Yue Zhishi once again thought about that message, but this time his focus shifted, thinking only that Song Yu was very amazing. He could clearly remember who was who, and didn¡¯t need to change the display names at all.


    Song Yu came out from the bathroom, and his entire body was still wet ¡ª except this time, hot steam was diffusing from him. He changed into some white coloured clothes, and they greatly softened his entire person.


    He saw Yue Zhishi sitting in front of his own desk. Two pairs of chopsticks were already separated and sitting next to the bowls, ready to use. The food was laid out very neatly on the desk, and pastries were on every single one of his roommates¡¯ desks.


    He¡¯d never once thought of this scene ¡ª a very subtle sense of pleasure emerged. Song Yu stood in the doorway of the bathroom and was lost in a daze for a little while.


    ¡°You¡¯ve finished showering?¡± Yue Zhishi turned around first, smiling at him. ¡°Hurry and come eat.¡±


    Song Yu rubbed his hair with a towel. ¡°Do you want to shower?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m hungry, I want to eat something first before showering.¡± Yue Zhishi asked if they could borrow a roommate¡¯s chair. Song Yu nodded and grabbed the chair across from them, placing it next to Yue Zhishi and sitting in it.


    Yue Zhishi pushed the soup until it was in front of Song Yu. ¡°Drink it while it¡¯s still hot so you won¡¯t catch a cold.¡± There was very little logical science behind his words, but Song Yu still did it, lowering his head to drink the soup his mother had made for him while he listened to Yue Zhishi chatter about stuff that had happened to him at school.


    ¡°Peiya¡¯s about to celebrate its 70th anniversary. Everyone¡¯s preparing for it right now, so every day has been really lively. You should come by and see.¡± Yue Zhishi greatly enjoyed his food. His entire journey here had made him tired and hungry, and with his mood swinging up and down, the delicious food was there to act as his comfort.


    Song Yu placed a piece of sweet and sour pork in his bowl. ¡°Are you guys participating too?¡±


    ¡°No way, we¡¯re already in third year. There¡¯s only one more month until college entrance exams.¡± Yue Zhishi gave up all his manners and slouched against the chair as he finished speaking. ¡°So tired. I feel like it¡¯s been a long time since I had a break. I don¡¯t get enough sleep every night. I almost fell asleep during yesterday¡¯s monthly literature exam.¡±


    Song Yu could pretty much imagine the entire scene ¡ª the exam paper might even have Yue Zhishi¡¯s careless splotches of ink on it. It should¡¯ve been very funny, but he still seriously asked, ¡°How did the exam go?¡±


    Yue Zhishi came back alive, sitting up straight as he drank a big mouthful of soup. ¡°It was okay, it wasn¡¯t hard.¡± As one of the few boys studying liberal arts in his year, Yue Zhishi¡¯s grades were still near the top. He was about to graduate, and he had still yet to change his preference for studying in the corridor. Sometimes he would stay there as he ate dinner, sometimes he would go there after the night self-study session ¡ª even when he didn¡¯t want to study, he would still sit there for a little while.


    These days, he wouldn¡¯t sit on a chair in the corridor and read manga. There also wouldn¡¯t be anyone who would run over there to pick him up.


    ¡°I want to come to Wuhan U too,¡± he abruptly said, feeling like there was no lead up to his sentence.


    Song Yu lifted his head, giving him a glance, and then lowered his eyes again as he cleaned up his bowl and chopsticks. ¡°You can look at other schools and majors.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t really like this reply from Song Yu. It felt like he was still a child in Song Yu¡¯s eyes, as if he said everything based on impulse. But he also understood, no matter what, Song Yu would never say to him, sure, I¡¯ll be really happy if you came.


    He saw Song Yu¡¯s phone screen light up again, so he tried changing the topic.


    ¡°Your phone vibrated earlier when you were showering. I think someone messaged you.¡± Yue Zhishi pretended to act like he didn¡¯t see the content at all, that he was only simply prompting Song Yu.


    Song Yu made a noise in response, but he looked like he didn¡¯t plan on opening his phone to have a look.


    ¡°You¡¯re not looking at it?¡± Yue Zhishi frowned.


    ¡°Maybe later.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know what was pushing him on, but he said it anyway ¡ª ¡°That girl who borrowed your umbrella, she bought milk tea for you and told you to drink it.¡±


    He regretted it the moment the words left his mouth. One reason was because he exposed the fact he¡¯d seen the messages, even if he didn¡¯t mean to, and the second reason was because the tone of his voice was truly too strange.


    Song Yu¡¯s eyebrows slightly wrinkled, and he stared at Yue Zhishi¡¯s face. ¡°What¡¯s the matter with you?¡±


    He¡¯d turned and run away after seeing him, and now he was so clinging so stubbornly onto one message.


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t answer his question. He blinked, and then suddenly didn¡¯t really want to talk anymore.


    The rain grew worse the longer it fell.


    ¡°I¡¯m full.¡± He rose up from his chair. ¡°Can I go shower?¡±


    Of course Song Yu wouldn¡¯t say no ¡ª he didn¡¯t continue questioning him. He took Yue Zhishi into the bathroom, gave him the slippers he himself had worn as he showered and told him which direction to turn the knob for hot water. He finally taught him how to manage the very difficult to use hair dryer.


    ¡°This belongs to one of my roommate. It¡¯s a bit fiddly, remember to wrap the cord around the bottom when you hold it.¡±


    Yue Zhishi said he understood, but he wasn¡¯t really listening. The bathroom was very narrow, the two of them a bit crowded together as they stood inside. Yue Zhishi turned to turn on the shower, but the direction of the shower head was a bit off: the water poured directly onto his body. He retreated half a step backwards in a fluster, grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulling it off.


    He entirely forgot Song Yu was still behind him.


    His back was very pale, very skinny, and his waist was skinnier than Song Yu had imagined. He looked a bit taller than he used to be, but his frame was still a youth¡¯s frame ¡ª slender wrists and ankles, as if they would snap as soon as they were twisted. Realising he was staring, Song Yu twisted his face away, but at that very moment, Yue Zhishi stepped on something, slipped and fell backwards.


    Luckily, Song Yu caught him just in time and held onto his arms.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart had leaped in fear.


    ¡°I¡¯m okay, I¡¯m okay.¡± Yue Zhishi placed his palm against the wall and stood securely. ¡°This pair of slippers is a bit slippery.¡±


    ¡°Be careful.¡± Song Yu opened his hands. He realised he held on too tightly ¡ª in such a short amount of time, he had left a red mark on the back of Yue Zhishi¡¯s arms. He didn¡¯t look at Yue Zhishi anymore and turned himself around. ¡°I¡¯m going out. Go shower.¡±


    Even though the bathroom didn¡¯t look that nice, the water temperature was very comfortable. It was similar to the temperature he used at home, and Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t need to fiddle with it. He was a bit distracted as he showered. He kept thinking of how Song Yu had looked like when he was speaking with someone else, and he felt like he was being a bit irrational. It felt like he didn¡¯t want Song Yu to speak to anyone else.


    But he wanted Song Yu to have a good relationship with his roommates; he hoped his life went smoothly every day.


    His thoughts twisted in circles until they finally turned into a tight, secure knot. Yue Zhishi felt a bit dizzy as he continued showering, so he very quickly washed away the suds on his body.


    Song Yu had given him a sea blue t-shirt. There was nothing on the front, and he even thought he¡¯d put it on inside out. When he flipped it out, there was a block of cheese printed on the reverse side, and it looked like the block of cheese on Tom and Jerry. Yue Zhishi pulled it on ¡ª it was very large, very oversized, and half of his shoulder was exposed just by tugging at the neckline. He gazed at himself in the mirror. This colour made him look even paler.


    But the pants were too large. Yue Zhishi bent over, looking at the loose pant legs, and rolled up the hem a few times before he got up and grabbed the hair dryer, turning it on.


    Song Yu had just finished cleaning up his desk when he heard the sound of the hair dryer from the bathroom. The noise came on and off sporadically, and he knew there had been no point in him teaching Yue Zhishi how to use it. He stood in place, not heading over, and waited for three seconds; as expected, the bathroom door opened, and Yue Zhishi peeked out with his damp hair, a bit of embarrassment on his face.


    ¡°Gege, I still don¡¯t know how to use the hair dryer.¡±


    At the end, Song Yu still ended up blowing dry his hair. Yue Zhishi obediently sat on a chair, his eyes closed, and left Song Yu to mess up his hair however he wanted. Song Yu¡¯s fingers were very long, and the feeling of them combing through his hair was very comfortable. It created a sense of security, of safety, that Yue Zhishi felt he could rely on.


    ¡°Your previous hair dye¡¯s gone.¡± Song Yu¡¯s hand twirled his brown strands of hair. He thought of one time he¡¯d gone home and realised Yue Zhishi had dyed his hair black. He had looked a bit unlike himself, but Song Yu hadn¡¯t asked much at that time, thinking it was only a child¡¯s passing fancy.


    ¡°Mm.¡± Yue Zhishi lowered his head. ¡°Even if it didn¡¯t fade away, it would¡¯ve been cut off anyway. My hair grows too quickly.¡±


    He thought about it ¡ª from when he started high school to now, the most rebellious thing he¡¯d done in the last three years was only to dye his hair black once.


    His excuse had been even more bizarre. It was only because last semester, when Song Yu had attended his parent-teacher meeting, too many people had said the exact same thing to him.


    You and your gege don¡¯t look similar at all.


    That day had even been his eighteenth birthday.


    ¡°Don¡¯t dye it anymore, it¡¯s quite nice this way.¡± Song Yu¡¯s hand accidentally touched Yue Zhishi¡¯s long nape. A small, inconspicuous mole grew there, and most likely even Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know he had one there.


    He used to occasionally stare at that mole in a daze, and when Yue Zhishi had sometimes caught him looking, Yue Zhishi would laugh and ask if he¡¯d taped a piece of paper on his back and why he kept staring at it.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t have a habit of pranking people ¡ª he only held a strange yet complicated emotion towards this natural mark.


    Such as a desire to possess.


    ¡°Do you think I don¡¯t look good in black hair?¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s phone on the table started vibrating for a long time just as the question left Yue Zhishi¡¯s mouth. Yue Zhishi helped him grab it, passing it behind his back.


    Song Yu¡¯s thoughts were interrupted. He picked up his phone ¡ª it was the dormitory head¡¯s phone call, so he turned off the hair dryer and accepted the call.


    ¡°He¡¯s already here, he¡¯s in the dorm right now. Yes. I know, I¡¯ll tell him to go back in a little bit.¡±


    Sitting on the chair, Yue Zhishi heard that sentence and immediately spun over, shaking his head at Song Yu. The person on the other side of the call seemed to be saying something, so Song Yu walked towards the window and looked outside.


    ¡°It¡¯s already flooded?¡± Song Yu paused, and then, his voice very low, as if speaking to himself, ¡°Then how will he leave¡­¡±


    Yue Zhishi inexplicably cheered up a bit as he heard those words. He relaxed.


    Song Yu hung up the call without speaking too much. The roommates¡¯ group chat sent over two videos: one was the flooded subway station, and the other was the rain that even umbrellas could no longer hold back.


    [Chen Fangyuan: Our annual sea view came early. Comrades, we once again have an ocean view house.]


    ¡°Has outside flooded really terribly?¡± Yue Zhishi also stood up, and he ran to the window to have a look. The rain truly had increased.


    ¡°Mm, it¡¯s a level red warning today. It might flood out like before, and then it¡¯ll be really inconvenient to go out.¡±


    ¡°Then I might not be able to go back today.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice was a bit too obvious with its utter lack of regret for not being able to go home, and it held an unmistakable joy. But as soon as he turned around, he saw Song Yu lifting up his school bag. ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    He sounded like a child who¡¯d had his snacks taken away from him right in front of his face.


    Song Yu pulled open the zipper, checking inside to see if there was anything left behind. But he abruptly noticed ¡ª in this black schoolbag, the name badge he¡¯d carelessly given to Yue Zhishi was pinned to the inside.


    The moment he saw his name, he found himself at a loss.


    ¡°Gege.¡±


    Hearing Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice, Song Yu¡¯s attention returned, and he placed down the bag. ¡°Since the subway¡¯s flooded, it won¡¯t be safe either in a car. I don¡¯t have anywhere for you to sleep here, but there¡¯s a few hotels nearby. I¡¯ll see if I can book one for you.¡±


    A blinding white light suddenly flashed outside the window. Yue Zhishi had suffered through this too many times, and his body¡¯s instinctive reaction was to cover his ears. In the next moment, a tremendous crack of thunder rang through the sky.


    Song Yu saw his shoulders shaking, and yet he still grabbed his phone, preparing to book Yue Zhishi a hotel.


    Yue Zhishi was very upset seeing him act like that. It felt like he¡¯d run to all different kinds of fruit stores to finally find a crisp peach, and when he bit down, full of expectation, the peach turned out to be soft.


    But he had been the one who¡¯d wanted to come ¡ª just like he¡¯d been the one to buy the peach.


    He needed to eat it entirely, and yet each mouthful was full of discouragement.


    Since it was currently a school break, all of the hotels nearby the university were already very hard to book, and it was even harder with the special weather the last few days. Song Yu checked a few good quality hotels, and pretty much all of them were fully booked. He didn¡¯t want to even check hotels with a slightly lower quality, and when he thought about the environment of those hotels, he didn¡¯t want to send Yue Zhishi over at all.


    Especially since his body was still so sensitive.


    As he thought about how the bedsheets in the hotels might not be clean enough, and how they might even smell of cigarette smoke, Song Yu thought, if he told Yue Zhishi to live there by himself, it might be Song Yu himself who tossed and turned and was unable to sleep all night.


    His wrist was suddenly grasped just as he was struggling with what to do. Yue Zhishi had arrived in front in him. He wore the shirt Song Yu had bought and yet had never worn, and the body wash fragrance diffusing from his body was the same as his. His hair was soft and smooth, his gaze innocent.


    In a very soft voice, he said, ¡°Gege, I don¡¯t want to stay outside.¡±


    The hand surrounding Song Yu¡¯s wrist was pale enough that he could see Yue Zhishi¡¯s veins as they throbbed up and down, full of life. Song Yu knew very well ¡ª this kind of skin would turn red and would turn warm at the merest chafing. Just like when he was younger, at the slightest cry, Yue Zhishi¡¯s face would turn red just like a fragile peach.


    ¡°It¡¯s thundering outside. I won¡¯t be able to sleep.¡± He used the excuse Song Yu could never reject, just like the first time he¡¯d intruded into his room. But compared to the painful crying of his childhood, the way he requested it now seemed to make it even harder for Song Yu to deny him.


    He seemed to be even better now at guessing Song Yu¡¯s thoughts than when he was a child ¡ª he simply stretched out a hand, and he was able to touch Song Yu¡¯s weak spot.


    Yue Zhishi gazed at him, that pair of large yet beautiful eyes full of pleading but also full of some kind of other emotion that could give someone a wrong impression.


    ¡°Can I stay here? Just one night.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Say yes!


    Something that can be easily overlooked is gege¡¯s love~


    Some sisters said gege¡¯s too cold. He truly isn¡¯t, when you compare how he treats other people with how he treats Le Le. It¡¯s called restraint. To me, the charm of an older gong in a situation like this is in his restraint ¡ª if he can¡¯t even control his own emotions, then he would have an unfair advantage due to his guidance of the younger person. He would affect the younger person¡¯s choices, and that, to me, would completely lose the charm of having an older gong. The ways he treats Le Le well are all in the details. In choosing to not express his love, he is taking responsibility for and protecting Lele, especially after seeing a failed example. Especially since their relationship is so similar to a relationship between brothers. If he chose to directly express it, and then they later face dangers or difficulties, who will bear the burden for that? Would he be willing for Yue Zhishi to suffer through Xu Qichen¡¯s experience? After all, Le Le still has yet to go through his college entrance exams.


    I feel like questions like ¡°will they still be like this after they get together¡± are very strange. Clearly they won¡¯t, Song Yu is already like this before he¡¯s even felt Le Le¡¯s arrow ¡ª he¡¯s only bearing it and not expressing himself because he wants to protect the relationship between them. He¡¯ll love Le Le up to the heavens when they¡¯re together.


    Refusing to allow the person you like to get close to you doesn¡¯t mean you don¡¯t love them. But if someone treats you, the person they like, with despicable behaviour, then no matter what they do, that¡¯s not called ¡®being cool¡¯ ¡ª that¡¯s called ¡®they don¡¯t love you¡¯.

 CH 41

    Chapter 41: Social Life Crisis


    Song Yu¡¯s struggle was actually very short.


    Because the one who truly didn¡¯t want Yue Zhishi to leave was him.


    Yue Zhishi was happily satisfied and content when Song Yu nodded in assent. He released his hands and went back to sit in Song Yu¡¯s seat with his schoolbag, his face full of joy. He asked Song Yu if he had anything he needed to do that afternoon, and if he would be bothering him.


    Song Yu shook his head. ¡°Have you finished your homework?¡±


    ¡°Finished it ages ago.¡± Yue Zhishi said to him, ¡°I¡¯ve even memorised all my texts already, I prepared before I came. I¡¯ve even brought my review work over so I can look through them tonight.¡±


    Having learned yesterday that Lin Rong needed him to help bring things over, he started finishing his homework early and was even working on it earlier that day during class before the monthly break started. He was someone with a very high efficiency rate once he focused on something, and just by thinking he was coming to see Song Yu, the strength of his concentration pretty much doubled.


    Song Yu nodded. He kept hearing Yue Zhishi¡¯s phone vibrating, so he prompted him before saying he need to go downstairs to buy some things.


    Thunder crashed once again outside, and Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulders unconsciously shook. He checked the messages on his phone, and then he lifted his head to Song Yu, saying, ¡°Can I go down with you?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s raining too hard outside.¡±


    ¡°Then¡­¡± Yue Zhishi waved his phone at him. ¡°Can I play games for a bit? A classmate¡¯s asking me to join him, and I¡¯ll be able to distract myself.¡±


    Fair enough, thunder was still ringing outside. Song Yu nodded, but he couldn¡¯t help but advise, ¡°Don¡¯t play games so often.¡±


    ¡°I play very rarely,¡± Yue Zhishi explained. ¡°I¡¯m a terrible gamer, so I don¡¯t even like playing games all that much.¡±


    Song Yu had already changed his shoes. He said, ¡°Mm,¡± and then grabbed the dorm¡¯s communal umbrella, heading out.


    Outside was even worse than he¡¯d imagined ¡ª the water had already flooded past the steps and was about to reach the access door for the dormitory¡¯s first floor. He waded out, very people left outside in the heavy wind and rain, but there were quite a few people pushing about in the university¡¯s supermarket. The storm season in this city was always very dramatic, so everyone had accumulated a lot of experience and knew to stock up their groceries.


    Song Yu usually tried to stay far away from crowded places like these, but he went straight in this time without thinking about it. He very quickly bought the snacks Yue Zhishi liked and could eat, a completely new set of towel, soft bristled toothbrush and slippers, and went to line up to pay.


    He was about to reach the front after a long time of waiting, but then he saw a girl walk past holding an ice cream Yue Zhishi had once said he liked. He left the line.


    When he finally returned back to the check out lines, he felt like he¡¯d added at least twenty minutes to the time he needed to spend in this supermarket. Song Yu would usually be very impatient in these types of situations, but right now, he was in a pretty good mood.


    His phone lit up with an unread message: a push notification from QQ. Song Yu rarely used social media apps, and especially after entering university, most of his work communications and messages had been transferred over to WeChat. He¡¯d pretty much stopped using QQ, and he¡¯d even muted all of his previous group chats.


    This time, he opened it because it was a push notification sent from Yue Zhishi.


    Song Yu had nothing to do now that he was waiting in line, so he opened up the notification ¡ª a photo. Yue Zhishi had taken a photo of his desk, and laying on top of his desk was the well-packed takeaway containers of food and the pork ribs and lotus root soup.


    [Yue Zhishi: Delicious! Another reason to aim for Wuhan U!]


    The amount of comments he received completely showed how popular Yue Zhishi was, and it was easy to see he was everyone¡¯s favourite just by how many people called him Le Le. The comments were mostly related to Wuhan U. Many of his good friends also teased him, calling him an older brother con who went straight to find his brother as soon as he had a break. As he kept scrolling, Song Yu¡¯s finger paused, one particular comment drawing his attention.


    [I am the god of the new world: You foodie, you went so far even in this heavy rain. Aren¡¯t you afraid of getting kidnapped halfway there? I know how to cook that fish too. I guarantee mine is better than the cafeteria¡¯s by 100 times, come to my home if you don¡¯t believe me!]


    Yue Zhishi replied: [Are you serious, you even know how to make steamed fish?]


    [I am the god of the new world: Of course, I can even plate it up to look like a peacock. So cool, right? Why don¡¯t I bring some next week for you to try?]


    Yue Zhishi innocently agreed, even saying he really liked to eat fish.


    The conversation back and forth between these two became a long chain of comments, and the topic was already no longer about Yue Zhishi¡¯s photo. The other person seemed to be very chatty, quickly jumping past what they¡¯d do after going back to school to talk about a homemade mango-flavoured yoghurt drink he¡¯d found quite decent. He said he could bring it for Yue Zhishi to try, if Yue Zhishi exchanged it with the homemade cinnamon rolls he¡¯d brought last time. Yue Zhishi agreed, and from the amount of time it took for him to reply, it didn¡¯t look like he hesitated much before agreeing.


    After one minute, that person suggested playing games together. Yue Zhishi refused, saying he wasn¡¯t good at games at all, but the other person acted like he was very familiar with Yue Zhishi.


    [I am the god of the new world: I know, don¡¯t worry, big bro here will carry you up a rank, I guarantee you¡¯ll win this round of PUBG.]


    Thunder was rumbling outside, the dark stormy clouds bearing low onto the ground, and the entire campus was trapped into such a gloomy and depressing environment. Song Yu returned his phone back into his pocket, glancing at the line that had barely moved, and started to get irritated.


    One minute later, two girls came up together to Song Yu and took up the narrow aisle. One of them was holding her phone, and she bravely greeted Song Yu before asking, ¡°Can we add each other on WeChat?¡±


    Song Yu looked particularly annoyed. He didn¡¯t want to deal with this at all, so he directly found an excuse to send them away. ¡°Sorry, I don¡¯t use WeChat.¡±


    The girl seemed to have guessed it wouldn¡¯t be so easy and wasn¡¯t too discouraged so quickly. She tried again. ¡°Then¡­ how about QQ?¡±


    Song Yu frowned and then said, his tone even more irritated, ¡°I hate that social media app the most.¡±


    At the end, he ended up wasting half an hour more than he¡¯d expected before he managed to return back to his dorm. He heard Yue Zhishi¡¯s very intense gaming reactions from inside the room as he was opening the door, saying things like damn it damn it, I just gave them a free life.


    It appeared the sound in his earphones was turned up very high. His elbows rested on top of the table, and he looked like he was completely separated from the rest of the world. Song Yu put the umbrella back on the rack near the door, changed his shoes and heard Yue Zhishi say to his gaming partner, ¡°Who¡¯s the little baby? Don¡¯t talk so carelessly.¡±


    His eyes were still focused on the screen, but his hands started to look a bit flustered as they moved, looking as if he was amused by his teammate. ¡°That¡¯s disgusting.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t immediately place down his things, standing in place for a bit, and watched as Yue Zhishi seemed to completely give up. Yue Zhishi relaxed his upheld hands, complaining that his teammate had affected his play, and then after a little while, he very seriously said, ¡°Don¡¯t give people nicknames so casually, look, I just died.¡±


    The other person seemed to still be talking, so Yue Zhishi placed down his phone with a bit of spite and said, ¡°Let¡¯s see how you can win with just yourself.¡± With his game finished, he reached up and stretched, but his gaze still rested on his phone screen as he chose to continue observing the game as a ghost.


    Song Yu¡¯s patience completely disappeared. He no longer wanted to wait for Yue Zhishi to notice him and went to set down the snacks and ice cream he¡¯d purchased onto the table. Without saying a single word, he grabbed out the daily personal items and headed into the bathroom.


    ¡°You¡¯re back?¡± Yue Zhishi pulled out his earphones very quickly and immediately stood up to follow behind Song Yu without noticing the ice cream. ¡°What¡¯d you buy? Did you buy those for me?¡±


    ¡°Toothbrush, towel.¡± Song Yu arranged the toiletries, reminded him not to use the wrong ones and then turned around, walking out. He opened up the slippers, placing them next to Yue Zhishi¡¯s feet, but he didn¡¯t speak.


    He didn¡¯t know if he was imagining it, but Yue Zhishi felt like gege¡¯s mood seemed to be worse after going out for a bit. He didn¡¯t like it when Song Yu was in a bad mood, so to cheer him up, Yue Zhishi took the initiative to share his embarrassing story in the game just now. ¡°Just then, I thought the grenade was a smoke bomb and almost blew up my teammate. Good thing he ran away quickly.¡±


    Yue Zhishi actually didn¡¯t like losing, and he also didn¡¯t like being laughed at by other people. But if the other person was Song Yu, then he could accept his laughter completely ¡ª as long as Song Yu laughed.


    But it looked like it was useless this time.


    Song Yu took out a cold bottle of coke and said, his voice not having warmed up very much, ¡°Really.¡± He leaned his head back and took a sip before he frowned. He closed the bottle and put it back on the desk.


    Seeing him like this, Yue Zhishi felt a bit helpless. His phone kept vibrating, messages nonstop, but he didn¡¯t have any interest in replying to them. He grabbed the ice cream Song Yu bought for him. ¡°I really like this one.¡± After unfolding the little spoon, he scooped a bit and placed it at Song Yu¡¯s mouth. ¡°Try it.¡±


    Song Yu naturally didn¡¯t eat it, just like usual. But unlike usual, he glanced at Yue Zhishi¡¯s phone before turning to look at Yue Zhishi. ¡°You¡¯re not going to see who it is?¡±


    Yue Zhishi took back his hand, eating that scoop of ice cream himself, and lifted up his phone to quickly reply before he placed it back down. ¡°My teammate, he asked if I wanted to play anymore.¡± He then added, ¡°I¡¯m not playing anymore. I kept losing, so it¡¯s not fun at all.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t respond to his words, taking the laptop on his table and putting it onto his roommate¡¯s desk across from them before he turned it on.


    ¡°Are you going to study?¡± Yue Zhishi also turned over, staring at Song Yu¡¯s back. The thunder outside seemed to have paused.


    ¡°Mn.¡± In reality, there wasn¡¯t much left for Song Yu to do; everything that needed to be finished soon had already been completed. He originally hadn¡¯t needed to go to the research lab, but after Yue Zhishi had said he was coming over, Song Yu had showered and also gone out, wanting to use the time wisely and quickly finish his group¡¯s remaining data analysis work.


    He checked his email and saw a document sent by his professor. Song Yu had just started his third year of university, but because of his exceptional grades, he¡¯d been taken in early by a famous scientific researcher to foster his talent. He¡¯d entered the research lab very early and was nicknamed ¡®Master Degree Year 0 new student¡¯ by his senior brothers and sisters.


    After replying to his professor¡¯s email, Song Yu organised once again all the data documents he¡¯d placed on the desk and then opened the document pdf he just finished downloading.


    Yue Zhishi felt like he really was very busy, so he finished the ice cream by himself. He leaned on the back of Song Yu¡¯s chair, his chest to its back, and rested his chin on his arms. He stared at Song Yu¡¯s back like that without uttering a single sound, just like a little dog who was silently accompanying its owner after eating well.


    In the downpour, all the sun was rushed away by the storm clouds. It was clearly only 4:30pm, and yet the light was already very dim.


    He didn¡¯t know how much time had passed. Yue Zhishi felt like he was about to fall asleep when he abruptly heard Song Yu¡¯s voice.


    ¡°Who was that person gaming with you?¡±


    He sounded very casual. He didn¡¯t turn his head over either, looking like he was merely asking a random question. Yue Zhishi was also clueless ¡ª he lifted his head, sat up straight and rubbed his eyes. ¡°My classmate.¡±


    ¡°In your particular class?¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded and then, realising Song Yu might not be able to see him, said, ¡°He sits behind me.¡±


    Song Yu fell back into silence. Yue Zhishi got up from his chair and went to search through his schoolbag for his thick notebook. He pulled the chair close to Song Yu¡¯s side. ¡°Can I sit next to you while I review?¡±


    ¡°You can play games if you want. Don¡¯t mind me.¡± Song Yu was quite indifferent. Yue Zhishi realised Song Yu was still bothered by his game playing, as if he was someone addicted to games in Song Yu¡¯s eyes.


    He frowned for a brief moment, and then he leaned in very closely to Song Yu, looking a bit like he wanted to cutely whine. ¡°I honestly don¡¯t like playing games that often. It¡¯s just that you weren¡¯t here. Someone asked if I wanted to play, and I only agreed to play two rounds with him because I was afraid of the thunder. If you were here, I wouldn¡¯t have wanted to play at all.¡±


    To Song Yu, these words seemed to be useful ¡ª he finally turned and looked at Yue Zhishi, except his gaze still carried some doubt.


    ¡°It¡¯s true.¡± Yue Zhishi gave his phone to Song Yu and even opened up the game for him to examine. ¡°You can look at my rank if you don¡¯t believe me. It¡¯s super low, I¡¯ve only played a few times.¡±


    The game returned back to the home screen, and out of the two people on the opening display, one was the teammate Yue Zhishi was talking about with the ID of ¡®god of the new world¡¯. It was the person Song Yu was thinking about.


    Song Yu turned his face away, acting as if he wasn¡¯t interested in Yue Zhishi¡¯s game. His finger lightly slid across the touchpad on his laptop. ¡°The most important thing for you to do right now is to study.¡±


    ¡°I know.¡± Yue Zhishi lowered his head and flipped open his notebook. ¡°I¡¯m studying hard every day.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t hang out so much with students who like to play games,¡± Song Yu lectured him, very unnaturally.


    ¡°You mean the one just now?¡± Yue Zhishi was looking at his notes. He turned a page and then casually said, ¡°His grades are pretty decent, he can sometimes get higher grades than me when he¡¯s doing really well. He¡¯s especially good at math, but his English isn¡¯t as good as mine. In the last monthly exam, he¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not interested in your classmate.¡±


    Lifting his head, Yue Zhishi looked at him and said, ¡°Oh.¡± He actually didn¡¯t want to talk about other people ¡ª he just wanted to prove his own grades were quite good by comparing them to someone else¡¯s.


    He saw Song Yu put in his earphones and open up the bottle of coke again. Song Yu took a large sip before placing it back on his desk.


    Song Yu usually didn¡¯t drink coke very often, so his intake of carbonated drinks today was slightly strange. Yue Zhishi wondered about it for a while, and then he saw the packaging of this coke bottle was different. It looked like it was cherry-flavoured. He felt this flavour was usually listed as a ¡®dark cuisine¡¯. He wanted to ask Song Yu how he felt after drinking it, but he was worried Song Yu might roll his eyes at him ¡ª so instead, he continued to study his notes.


    When Song Yu was about to finish the coke, Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but lift up his head and pass over a post it note with his handwriting on it. His strokes were very beautiful.


    [I don¡¯t like holding people back when I¡¯m playing a game with someone. Can you take me to play?]


    Song Yu turned his face away, holding that empty bottle of coke. Yue Zhishi pulled off one of his earphones.


    ¡°That game showed me which of my QQ friends also played it, and you were listed in there. I saw your ranking ¡ª it was really high, and your statistics were also really amazing. I¡¯ve sent you some messages before, but you never replied.¡±


    Song Yu put down the bottle and logged into the game with his QQ username, opening his in-game inbox.


    ¡°I¡¯ve been really busy this semester. I haven¡¯t been online, so I didn¡¯t receive your messages.¡± He occasionally played a few times, but once he started getting busy, he might not be able to play at all during the semester. He had many, many messages in his inbox, and as he kept scrolling down, he saw a friend request from a QQ friend with the ID of Cheese1010. There were also many messages from him, almost all of them emoji expressions ¡ª the earliest was from three months ago, and the message contained a love heart.


    ¡°I know.¡± Yue Zhishi lifted up his hand to put Song Yu¡¯s earphone back in. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t ignore me otherwise.¡±


    There was pretty much nothing left in the coke bottle. Yue Zhishi felt the cherry flavour must be very delicious if Song Yu drank so much, so when Song Yu wasn¡¯t paying attention, he took the bottle and finished the last drop.


    It was terrible. Yue Zhishi stuck out his tongue in disgust and threw the bottle into the bin.


    The author has something to say:


    Gege wasn¡¯t drinking iced coke, he was drinking iced mature vinegar.


    QQ: You said you hated me, but didn¡¯t you still scuttle and log in with me as soon as your younger brother wanted to play games with you (-¡£-)


    The ¡®god of the new world¡¯ reference is from Death Note [tears of a generation]

 CH 42

    Chapter 42: Bedtime Reasoning


    Song Yu accepted Yue Zhishi¡¯s friend request and even promised him he¡¯d play together with him in a two person team after the college entrance exams.


    He¡¯d only started playing the game after he entered his first year of university.


    In the beginning, Song Yu had thought he¡¯d be able to easily get used to living away from home. He¡¯d thought his heavy load of schoolwork would be able to completely fill up his every day life, but reality proved otherwise ¡ª no matter how tired he had been during the day, once he lay down on his bed and closed his eyes, he still found it very difficult to fall asleep.


    He¡¯d been later dragged into playing the game together with a roommate. He realised it could serve as a temporary distraction, so he played for a period of time. Song Yu was very good at sniping, his in-game operation very stable, and his ranking rose very quickly. But after playing for a while, the game¡¯s ability to distract him clearly decreased, and so he no longer really wanted to play.


    With his head lowered, Yue Zhishi happily stared at their friend interface in the game, and he asked if Song Yu could take him as a pupil. Song Yu very quickly rejected him.


    ¡°Why?¡± Yue Zhishi thought the teacher-pupil relationship in the game was really interesting, and many people carried others like this. His classmate kept trying to tempt Yue Zhishi into taking him as his teacher, but Yue Zhishi had never once been swayed. After learning that Song Yu had played this game before, Yue Zhishi wanted to play with him only.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t our relationship complicated enough?¡± Song Yu said, looking at his document.


    True.


    Yue Zhishi felt it was easier to call him gege.


    After ending their conversation about the game, the two of them tacitly started to sit together to study. Yue Zhishi felt like Song Yu had a magic power that could calm him down ¡ª when Yue Zhishi was next to him, as long as it wasn¡¯t thundering, he found it easier to focus on memorising his work, and his memory also improved by a fair amount.


    Both of them tended to forget the time after they started studying. Yue Zhishi finished his memorisation work and worked his way through some incorrect literature comprehension multiple choice questions. He lifted his head, and it was already 7:30pm.


    ¡°No wonder I¡¯m a bit hungry.¡± Yue Zhishi leaned back on the chair. ¡°It¡¯s already past dinner time.¡±


    Song Yu only then realised the time. He usually didn¡¯t eat at set times, so he too forgot about dinner. He lifted his phone and asked Yue Zhishi, ¡°What do you want to eat? Let¡¯s order some delivery. The rain outside still hasn¡¯t stopped, so everything nearby might already be flooded.¡±


    ¡°Can the delivery come all the way in here?¡± Yue Zhishi was doubtful. ¡°I want to eat river snail noodle soup.¡±


    Song Yu questioned his request, but Yue Zhishi really did want to eat it. ¡°The best time to have river snail noodle soup is when it¡¯s raining. And hot pot too, that kind of hot and soupy meal is the best during rain.¡±


    ¡°What kind of reasoning is that,¡± he may have said, but Song Yu still sent a WeChat message to his roommate Chen Fangyuan, asking if he had any river snail noodle soup packets.


    [Chen Fangyuan: I finished them all already. But I still have hot and sour noodles, they¡¯re really good. I also have instant ramen noodles. They¡¯re all on my desk, feel free to take some! I have ham sausages too!]


    ¡°Hot and sour noodles are fine too.¡± Yue Zhishi saw the chat screen on the laptop. ¡°Instant ramen noodles should be delicious.¡±


    The word ¡®should¡¯ made Song Yu feel he was really pitiful, so he stroked Yue Zhishi¡¯s head.


    Yue Zhishi ate an extremely unhealthy meal as he wished: hot and sour noodles soaked until they were soft and slippery, potato chips, hot and spicy konjac chips and a big pile of roasted seaweed. He was already really full, but Song Yu still forced him to eat an apple. Yue Zhishi was stuffed until he completely didn¡¯t want to move, slumping on the desk for a while.


    Feeling like his stomach was doing its best to digest the food, Yue Zhishi¡¯s large eyes scrolled around in every direction. The flowers he¡¯d bought that afternoon were already a bit droopy, but they were still very fragrant. Many post it notes were stuck on the wall with study notes Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t understand, and there were even some posts that looked like celestial charts and geological maps. Neatly arranged textbooks and tools were in a book shelf on the table, and there were also some typed essays.


    The globe he¡¯d made wasn¡¯t there, and this made Yue Zhishi a bit disappointed. But his disappointment very quickly disappeared ¡ª he thought, handmade globes weren¡¯t accurate enough, so maybe displaying it made Song Yu look like he wasn¡¯t professional.


    Unlike a watch that could be worn on his hand every day.


    His eyes continued peeping around. Yue Zhishi saw a bottle the size of his palm near the insulation container. Its packaging was all in English, and it said something something soft candy, the first word foreign to Yue Zhishi.


    Song Yu came out of the shower just then, and Yue Zhishi turned over and waved the bottle at him. ¡°Is this edible?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Song Yu walked over and took away the bottle from his hand, returning it to its original position. ¡°Melatonin. It¡¯s a hormone.¡±


    Yue Zhishi automatically classified it as a nutritional supplement. ¡°Can I eat it?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Song Yu urged him to shower, so Yue Zhishi had no choice but to move.


    Every time he was urged to do something, Yue Zhishi would be hit by the illusory sense of being roommates with Song Yu. This misconception very much pleased Yue Zhishi, as if they actually weren¡¯t brothers three years apart but rather people the same age ¡ª they¡¯d study together, go to school together and could even get out of bed and fall asleep together every day.


    He wouldn¡¯t need to wait at home every day, asking Lin Rong every week if Song Yu was coming home.


    After both of them finished showering, they received Lin Rong¡¯s video call, and the family of four, separated in two places, chatted for a very long time across the screen. It looked like Shanghai was also storming, and with Song Jin¡¯s work temporarily cancelled, the two of them could only stay in their hotel and enjoy the river view. Song Jin joked that this was the rain the heavens prepared for their honeymoon and was pushed out of the view of the screen by Lin Rong.


    Yue Zhishi also felt this rain was very coincidental, or else he might already be home by now. There would have been only been one person, one cat and one dog, more forlorn and desolate than anything else.


    He glanced at Song Yu and thought he was even more lonely ¡ª he didn¡¯t have a cat or a dog.


    After hanging up the phone, Song Yu started urging him again, this time to sleep.


    ¡°Weren¡¯t you saying you were sleep deprived? You can catch up on sleep today.¡±


    Their dormitory was the classic four-person room with the bed at the top and desk down below. Song Yu told Yue Zhishi to go up and sleep in his bed since he used the same bed linen brand as the ones used at home. There shouldn¡¯t be anything Yue Zhishi was allergic to.


    Yue Zhishi obediently climbed into bed, and his phone was also taken away by Song Yu. The aircon was turned on, and he crawled under the blanket ¡ª in that moment, Song Yu¡¯s familiar scent wrapped around him, creating an illusion that he could sink and infinitely fall into the softness of the bed. For a moment, he hoped he could remain forever buried here, where no one except Song Yu could find him.


    The college entrance exams were very stressful, and studying was very tiring. He wanted to hide away under Song Yu¡¯s blanket.


    ¡°I¡¯m turning off the lights.¡± The lights in the dorm turned off as soon as Song Yu finished speaking. The darkness was like an even larger blanket falling down on him at a very quick speed to wrap around him. Yue Zhishi consciously shifted in towards the wall, leaving some space for Song Yu.


    But he waited for a long time, and Song Yu still didn¡¯t come up. He patiently waited for a little while longer and then, thinking a long amount of time had passed, couldn¡¯t help but lean against the bed railing and look down. He saw Song Yu quietly sitting at the desk, reading a book.


    ¡°Aren¡¯t you sleeping?¡± Yue Zhishi asked. ¡°It¡¯s already 10pm.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not sleepy,¡± Song Yu said. ¡°You should sleep first.¡± He then added, ¡°I¡¯ve already discussed it with my roommate, I¡¯ll sleep in his bed.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was incredibly disappointed. The wall he¡¯d tightly stuck to and the space he¡¯d left for Song Yu were instantaneously made meaningless.


    He didn¡¯t respond.


    The two of them were silent for a while, and Yue Zhishi finally surrendered, flipping over and facing the wall to pretend he was already sleeping. But he heard the sound of Song Yu turning off the desk light and also heard Song Yu climbing up into another bed.


    He silently consoled himself ¡ª this bed really was too small. Between being in an unclean bed or being forced into a tight and cramped space, maybe Song Yu only chose the option he could tolerate for longer.


    The dark room was extraordinarily silent, and as Yue Zhishi kept persuading himself, he hazily fell into sleep. But just as he was in between sleep and consciousness, a white light flashed across outside the window, brightening up the room. A short moment later, a heavy crack of thunder sounded and shocked Yue Zhishi awake.


    His reaction as he woke up was very loud. Song Yu immediately flipped and came over, thinking Yue Zhishi had fallen down. ¡°Yue Zhishi?¡±


    ¡°Mm¡­¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice was very weak, giving off the feeling as if he was covered in cold sweat while sick. But he hadn¡¯t fallen down, only covering his head with the blanket. His voice came out muffled and unclear. ¡°I¡¯m fine¡­¡±


    He actually had always felt it was really embarrassing to tell other people he was still afraid of thunder at eighteen years old. He needed to train away his fear, and since he had fallen asleep just then, Yue Zhishi wanted to try to sleep again even though he was shocked enough to be covered in cold sweat.


    But this thunder wouldn¡¯t stop just because Yue Zhishi wanted it to stop. The most frightening thing about the thunder was that you could sense its frequency ¡ª you knew it was going to happen again very quickly, so it kept you anxious and uneasy, unable to relax.


    After the thunder crashed three times, Yue Zhishi wanted to beg Song Yu to stay with him for a bit. He stretched out a hand outside the blanket, wanting to hold onto the railing as he got up.


    But unexpectedly, the hand he stretched out was tightly caught.


    Yue Zhishi moved away a corner of the blanket in confusion, his eyes peering out to look down, and saw Song Yu already standing under the bed.


    ¡°Are you okay?¡± Song Yu very lightly squeezed his fingertips. ¡°Your hand¡¯s really cold.¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head, but another crack of thunder struck, his hand helplessly drawing back under the blanket. He was already so terrified, and Song Yu was already used to seeing him crying in fear ¡ª so Yue Zhishi felt there was no need for him to continue pretending to be strong.


    ¡°I can¡¯t really sleep.¡± He didn¡¯t say he was afraid. ¡°Can you come up and stay with me for a bit?¡±


    In the darkness, he thought he heard Song Yu sigh, very softly. Maybe he heard wrongly, because Song Yu still came up. Yue Zhishi felt a bit better, and he squeezed himself against the wall with all his might, hoping that when Song Yu finally lay down, Song Yu would feel Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t actually take up that much space.


    But reality proved that the bed was truly too small for two guys ¡ª especially when Song Yu was a tall 186cm.


    ¡°Am I crowding you?¡± Yue Zhishi sounded a bit apologetic, completely not daring to lean on Song Yu at all in fear of him thinking it was too cramped.


    Song Yu said no, and then he said, ¡°You¡¯re very skinny.¡±


    Yue Zhishi only then relaxed, and he stretched out a hand to pull Song Yu under the blanket. The space was very small ¡ª the two of them couldn¡¯t lie on their backs at all and could only sleep on their sides. Song Yu lay on his side with his back facing Yue Zhishi, silent. Yue Zhishi turned the same direction as Song Yu, his back resting against the wall, and faced Song Yu¡¯s broad back. The space he¡¯d emptied out for Song Yu was filled to the brim, and it was like the heat diffusing from Song Yu¡¯s back included some kind of healing substance. He couldn¡¯t see it, couldn¡¯t touch it, but it made Yue Zhishi feel very reassured.


    They were like two croissants in a sealed bag. If he lost Song Yu, Yue Zhishi would feel like he was about to fall into danger, into great insecurity.


    The older he was, the more he knew this anxiety wasn¡¯t quite right. It was an incorrect anxiety. He¡¯d been taught to be an independent person, and he¡¯d tried his best to be one.


    But if Song Yu was by his side, he still couldn¡¯t help but draw near ¡ª and only then could he slightly relieve this trying, difficult to bear anxiety.


    The sounds of rain and thunder mixed together, and they were essential elements in Yue Zhishi¡¯s familiar memories. In his memories of being woken up as a child, he¡¯d clung to Song Yu just like this, always not allowed to hug him.


    So Yue Zhishi placed his forehead onto Song Yu¡¯s back, just like when he was a child.


    They hadn¡¯t been this close to each other in a very long time. Yue Zhishi thought he could feel Song Yu¡¯s heart beating, again and again, slowly and silently thumping against his muscles and bones. His mind and heart calmed down, but Yue Zhishi¡¯s thoughts were still wildly flying, unconsciously returning to that night Song Yu had finished his college entrance exams. He thought about how it¡¯d felt to be hugged by Song Yu after he¡¯d fallen asleep.


    That experience seemed to have been embedded in his body, hidden away ¡ª and it was only when he was so close to Song Yu that it would be accidentally triggered, reappearing again and breeding some kind of anticipation.


    He had no way of controlling any of these feelings.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t move at all, and he also didn¡¯t speak, as if he really was only there to accompany Yue Zhishi for a little while. As soon as he thought Song Yu might leave once he fell asleep, all of Yue Zhishi¡¯s sleepiness completely disappeared.


    Thunder boomed again and again, and Yue Zhishi gradually retreated back into the blanket. Song Yu couldn¡¯t help but remind him, ¡°Don¡¯t cover your head with the blanket, it¡¯s not good for your breathing.¡±


    Only then did Yue Zhishi meekly shift back up, once again putting his forehead onto Song Yu¡¯s body.


    ¡°Are you going to fall down?¡± he asked Song Yu.


    Song Yu replied very quickly, ¡°No.¡±


    Yue Zhishi then said, ¡°Sleep if you¡¯re sleepy, you don¡¯t need to care about me.¡±


    Song Yu was quiet for a few moments, and then: ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have come up if I didn¡¯t care about you.¡±


    Good point.


    ¡°Are you finding it hard to sleep?¡± Song Yu spoke again after a long time, his voice sounding a bit awkward. ¡°If you¡¯re scared, you can lean on me.¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡± Yue Zhishi very obediently rested against him, his chin placed on Song Yu¡¯s shoulder. He felt really comfortable like this, and his nose exhaled a breath in satisfaction.


    And then Song Yu¡¯s head slightly jerked, dodging away to the front.


    Yue Zhishi actually really wanted to sleep, but whenever he closed his eyes, flashes of lightning would light up the room and awaken many of his memories ¡ª such as Song Yu wanting to send him away to a hotel, and Song Yu resting his hand against his in the cafeteria.


    And the memory of him talking to that girl.


    This was even more self-indulgent than begging Song Yu to stay with him until he slept, but Yue Zhishi really did not like it when he spoke to other people.


    The sounds of thunder was unstoppable, just like the tug of war between an inexplicable sense of loss and his weak willpower in the midst of the heavy rain.


    Just as Song Yu was staring at the pattern on his roommate¡¯s bed curtain across from him in a daze, he heard Yue Zhishi open his mouth, very abruptly.


    ¡°Aunt Rong said the reason why you weren¡¯t coming home might be because you have a girlfriend.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s heart sank, and then he denied, ¡°I don¡¯t have one. It¡¯s just because I¡¯m a bit busy.¡±


    He again heard Yue Zhishi say, ¡°I only turned and ran away because I thought about what she said. I thought you were on a date and didn¡¯t want to bother you.¡± He then added, ¡°I would be a bit unnecessary if I showed up then.¡±


    Song Yu was already very used to Yue Zhishi¡¯s straightforwardness. He only thought it was a bit funny ¡ª at that time, he¡¯d only replied a few times, nodding at the most, and his actions were interpreted into something like this.


    ¡°You think me standing twenty centimetres away while I spoke is dating?¡±


    ¡°Then what do you think dating should be like?¡±


    Song Yu stopped speaking. After a long while, he repeated his earlier statement, ¡°Anyway, I¡¯m not dating.¡±


    Yue Zhishi very lightly said okay, but he couldn¡¯t help but say, ¡°The girls and boys who are dating in my year, they¡¯re always chatting to each other. They talk online, and then they continue talking even when they see each other.¡±


    Song Yu felt Yue Zhishi still didn¡¯t believe him, and being misunderstood as being in a relationship just by talking to someone was too absurd. ¡°It would be a bit more logical if you saw me hugging someone and then thought I was in a relationship.¡±


    Yue Zhishi said, his voice muffled, really?


    Song Yu was about to say yes, but then he heard Yue Zhishi say, ¡°That kind of reasoning isn¡¯t reliable. You¡¯ve hugged me before.¡±


    Song Yu almost laughed when he heard this ¡ª he felt Yue Zhishi¡¯s competitive heart was sometimes very strange. ¡°Using examples from when we were younger is sophistry.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not talking about when we were younger,¡± Yue Zhishi very quickly retorted. He seemed to feel speaking to Song Yu¡¯s back contained very little convincing power, so he pulled Song Yu over, getting him to lay and face him directly.


    In the dark, Song Yu could see his eyes ¡ª the slight glimmers from outside reaching in and illuminating his eyes. His stubborn face was astonishingly good-looking.


    ¡°That night I fell asleep while watching a documentary in your room after you finished your college entrance exams. That night you gave me your name badge ¡ª in the middle of the night, you turned over and pulled me into your arms.¡±


    Solely just to demonstrate what happened, Yue Zhishi pulled open Song Yu¡¯s arms. He burrowed his way in and buried his head into Song Yu¡¯s chest.


    ¡°Just like this.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    You set yourself up for that, S.Yu.

 CH 43

    Chapter 43: Obscure Clues


    Even Yue Zhishi himself didn¡¯t know how he managed to do something like that.


    The intention seemed to have naturally sprung from his brain together with the memory of Song Yu hugging him. But after he finished moving into Song Yu¡¯s arms and heard his heartbeats, Yue Zhishi was shocked awake, thinking he¡¯d gone crazy.


    The thunder crashed again, and Yue Zhishi, who¡¯d initially wanted to retreat, subconsciously clutched onto Song Yu¡¯s clothes.


    He heard Song Yu¡¯s voice, filled with confusion.


    ¡°What did you say?¡±


    Sure enough, he didn¡¯t remember.


    For no reason at all, Yue Zhishi was unwilling to accept it. Actually, to them, hugging wasn¡¯t a big deal; Song Yu had often hugged him when they were younger. When it heavily rained during elementary school, Song Yu, who was also a child, would carry him up and let him wrap around him like a koala ¡ª that way, he wouldn¡¯t step into the rain water.


    And even though he hadn¡¯t been allowed to hug him while they slept when it was thundering, whenever he was upset, Song Yu would actively wrap his arms around him. An embrace was a kind of silent comfort.


    Yue Zhishi was already used to all of this, and yet he couldn¡¯t forget about Song Yu¡¯s mutual embrace while he was deeply asleep.


    He clearly was the one who¡¯d been hugged, but the one who actually did it didn¡¯t remember anything at all.


    If it was someone else next to him, would he still have turned around and pulled them into his arms?


    ¡°I¡¯m not lying, it was exactly like this.¡± Yue Zhishi repeated, a bit obstinately. His head was snuggled into Song Yu¡¯s chest, and he lifted it up, looking at Song Yu¡¯s eyes.


    They were very close. Even though they were in the dark, he could still faintly see Song Yu¡¯s face, and he could feel him frowning.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t think you were lying.¡± Song Yu¡¯s heart was beating faster than Yue Zhishi had imagined, the reverberations magnified in the night. ¡°I just don¡¯t remember something like that happening.¡±


    He paused, and then he said, ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I wasn¡¯t paying attention when I was sleeping.¡±


    Yue Zhishi released his hands little by little, and he withdrew from Song Yu¡¯s arms the moment the next white light flashed. He suddenly understood ¡ª he guessed that Song Yu had only considered him as a pillow on his bed at that time, or a blanket. This wasn¡¯t anything special to begin with.


    ¡°You don¡¯t need to apologise. I was just giving an example.¡±


    A hug couldn¡¯t be considered as a good example either.


    Separated by a few centimetres of space, Yue Zhishi confessed his thoughts to Song Yu. ¡°I actually really like it when you hug me. I feel very safe.¡± Yue Zhishi then very quickly admitted, as if he was really scared of being admonished, ¡°But that¡¯s really strange, I know.¡±


    Song Yu was very quiet, only touching his shoulder across the blanket when he heard Yue Zhishi¡¯s words.


    Yue Zhishi was encouraged by this movement. He faced Song Yu and looked again at his eyes. ¡°Just for tonight, can you hug me while we sleep?¡±


    He started to continuously rationalise his request, just like when he wanted to eat something ¡ª he clearly and logically laid out his various motives. ¡°Since the thunder outside still hasn¡¯t stopped, I can¡¯t sleep. I¡¯ll feel safer if I¡¯m being hugged. And if I fall asleep earlier, you won¡¯t have to worry or mind me anymore. This could be considered as special circumstances. I won¡¯t be sleeping in the same bed with you every day, and it¡¯s not like it¡¯ll be storming and thundering every night.¡±


    Noticing that Song Yu didn¡¯t immediately reject his request, Yue Zhishi shifted slightly closer again. ¡°You don¡¯t need to do anything. I¡¯ll be fine just by sticking next to you, I won¡¯t sleep on your arm.¡±


    Song Yu abruptly found everything a bit funny, and yet he couldn¡¯t really laugh. He already couldn¡¯t tell ¡ª was he deliberately, wishfully finding Yue Zhishi childish, or had he truly yet to grow up?


    He couldn¡¯t help but stretch out a hand. He stroked down Yue Zhishi¡¯s hair, pausing at the side of his face, and then very gently covered his ear.


    But no matter what, Song Yu didn¡¯t want to further confuse or deceive Yue Zhishi, so he repeated it one more time.


    ¡°No matter what example you bring out, I¡¯m not dating anyone. That¡¯s the truth.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes were closed, and he looked very meek and very obedient. ¡°Then will you tell me if you started dating someone?¡±


    ¡°Would you want to know?¡± The words left Song Yu¡¯s mouth without him thinking about them, and after he asked, he felt a bit of regret.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know if he wanted to know or not. He didn¡¯t want to be enveloped away, knowing nothing at all, but he might also not feel well if he knew. He didn¡¯t want to share his gege with other people.


    Their breaths mingled in the space between them as they shared the same pillow. Song Yu waited for Yue Zhishi¡¯s answer in this tranquil and yet torturous atmosphere, and the answer he was given was Yue Zhishi¡¯s change in conversation.


    ¡°My desk mate is a girl. She has an older brother too.¡± Yue Zhishi especially pointed out, ¡°Blood brother.¡±


    ¡°She was complaining to me a while ago, saying her brother was never at home anymore after he started dating. He used to take her to Happy Valley during school breaks or to eat at many delicious places, but now he deliberately stays away from her. He¡¯s worried his girlfriend might not be happy.¡±


    Yue Zhishi looked like he didn¡¯t have enough air as he spoke, inhaling a long, long breath with his eyes closed. His voice was dull. ¡°Her brother got married this year and moved out to have his own family. It¡¯s been very hard for her to see him afterwards. I told her, you can go look for him.¡± His eyelashes faintly trembled. ¡°But she said she has, and that when she was in her brother¡¯s new home, she was very much like an outsider, like a guest. Honestly, from another point of view, that is actually very normal. No one would be willing for their loved one to share their heart with someone else. So my desk mate said that too ¡ª that she only needed to get used to it.¡±


    Song Yu silently listened to him speak, thinking of a younger Yue Zhishi. During that time, he was truly as simple as a child with his childish interests and amusements, cute and earnest, sensitive to nothing. But now, a similar topic once again appeared, and Yue Zhishi could no longer use the tone he used before to tell his story.


    ¡°We¡¯ll probably be like that in the future.¡± Lightning flashed, reflecting onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s face and making it look pale and wan. Thunder crashed, and he seemed to come to his senses and said, denying his own words, ¡°Even blood siblings are like that, so we¡¯ll be even more distant in the future. Since I¡¯m not your true younger brother.¡±


    He didn¡¯t know if it was his imagination, but Song Yu kept feeling like Yue Zhishi was about to cry. His heart wrenched, and the resistance he held towards his own sinful selfishness ended up losing to his empathic concern for Yue Zhishi. He pulled Yue Zhishi into his arms, abandoning everything. ¡°We won¡¯t.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t really believe him. ¡°You¡¯re the one who said that it was very easy for people to lose one another. Nowadays, I believe this more and more.¡± He closed his eyes, his chin supported on Song Yu¡¯s shoulder socket. It sounded like he was talking to himself when he asked, ¡°Why aren¡¯t we real brothers?¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s hand was on his back, and he hugged Yue Zhishi tightly after lightning flashed again. A bit helplessly, he asked Yue Zhishi in return, ¡°Why do you want to be real brothers with me?¡±


    ¡°Because social connections are very fragile.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand was wrapped around Song Yu¡¯s waist. ¡°But if we were true brothers, even if we cut away all our other connections between us, we won¡¯t be able to cut through a blood relationship with each other.¡±


    Hearing these words, Song Yu felt Yue Zhishi was both naive and cruel.


    He¡¯d long understood his own selfishness, so he¡¯d never once hoped to be true brothers with Yue Zhishi. He hoped they would never have any relationship, only strangers occasionally meeting with each other.


    It would be best if that relationship was never mixed with any other feelings. His burdens would lessen ¡ª he wouldn¡¯t think about his own parents when he embraced him, and he wouldn¡¯t have to carry the weight of other people¡¯s eyes when he held his hand.


    And he wouldn¡¯t be unable to understand exactly what it was Yue Zhishi felt for him. He wouldn¡¯t grow too many wishful, optimistic thoughts.


    Seeing Song Yu not speaking, Yue Zhishi touched his back, his tone lightening up a little bit. ¡°Am I really strange?¡±


    It wasn¡¯t Yue Zhishi who was strange; rather, it should be their current status that was strange.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t reply, so Yue Zhishi said, ¡°Do you think I¡¯m really abnormal?¡±


    Song Yu had fallen into sadness, and this almost made him laugh. In a soft voice, he said, ¡°No.¡± He even very openly patted Yue Zhishi¡¯s hair. ¡°You were like this as a child.¡±


    Yue Zhishi asked why, puzzled and worn out. Song Yu said, ¡°Maybe because you established an intimate reliance on me as a child. This kind of emotional connection is usually only between children and their parents, or maybe between siblings. In such special circumstances, you attached onto me ¡ª and that¡¯s why you have separation anxiety. It¡¯s actually normal. Some people, no matter how old they are, still find it hard to be away from their parents.¡±


    Hearing him speak, Yue Zhishi felt very relieved, his ability to think declining under his drowsiness. He grasped only the key words: separation anxiety. He felt it made a lot of sense; he really would feel anxious whenever he was away from Song Yu. He squeezed Song Yu and wriggled in his arms, as if he was whining. ¡°Then can you not stay too far away from me? Can you come home more often?¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s body stiffened for a few seconds, feeling as if it was no longer his.


    But he felt Yue Zhishi would fall asleep easier if he gave him a promise.


    ¡°Mn.¡±


    ¡°Really? In the future as well?¡±


    Song Yu couldn¡¯t help but nod again as he clearly heard Yue Zhishi cheer up.


    Yue Zhishi buried his head once more, preparing to sleep. He found it was actually very easy for him to get what he wanted from Song Yu ¡ª he looked like someone who was very hard to get close to, but he was actually someone who surrendered very easily.


    He softly said good night, and then Yue Zhishi peacefully closed his eyes.


    The rain continued to recklessly, outrageously fall. It was very noisy, and Song Yu¡¯s palm never left Yue Zhishi¡¯s ear until the thunder completely disappeared and Yue Zhishi¡¯s breathing steadied out.  Only then did Song Yu remove his hand, lightly placing it on top of Yue Zhishi¡¯s waist.


    Human will was at its weakest in the deep of the night, and it was very easy to make impulsive decisions. So Song Yu indulged himself for a second ¡ª he lowered his head and very gently kissed the top of Yue Zhishi¡¯s head.


    Other than the rain outside the window, no one else knew of this kiss.


    Yue Zhishi slowly, fuzzily woke when the sun was about to rise. He realised Song Yu didn¡¯t leave after he fell asleep and was very happy. A single-sized bed was truly too cramped ¡ª his waist was a bit sore, and he continued resting in Song Yu¡¯s arms for a little while with his eyes closed. He started to feel it was a bit too warm, so he turned over and placed his forehead against the wall.


    As he continued sleeping, Song Yu felt Yue Zhishi turn over. He moved as well, subconsciously pulling Yue Zhishi closer and wrapping his arms around him. Yue Zhishi¡¯s entire back was securely enfolded into Song Yu, and they comfortably, snugly nestled into each other.


    It was 7:30am the second time Yue Zhishi woke up. It was very bright outside, so he pulled the blanket over his head before he remembered Song Yu¡¯s admonishing. He pulled it back down, slightly.


    He only then realised the bed was missing one person. Yue Zhishi flipped over, eyes squinting, and stretched out an arm as he continued laying in bed. He flung his arm around, vaguely and weakly calling out Song Yu¡¯s name.


    He didn¡¯t know how many times he repeated Song Yu¡¯s name before he finally heard some noise. With great effort, he heaved his head up, peeled open his eyes and watched as Song Yu came out and closed the bathroom door. Yue Zhishi rubbed his eyes, curled on Song Yu¡¯s pillow, and lazily said, ¡°Why are you showering in the morning too¡­¡±


    Song Yu seemed to not have expected Yue Zhishi to wake up so early. He was a bit surprised when he saw him, but he very quickly recovered. ¡°It¡¯s easier to wake up this way.¡±


    He wanted to tell Yue Zhishi to nap a bit longer and that he¡¯ll go and buy breakfast, but Yue Zhishi climbed out of bed by himself. Having not lived in a dormitory before, Yue Zhishi¡¯s movements as he climbed down the ladder were very unsteady. Song Yu stood by the side, ready to catch him whenever he needed.


    But Yue Zhishi safely landed on the floor without Song Yu needing to lift a hand. He stepped barefoot onto the tiles, and he only quickly stepped into his slippers after Song Yu ordered him. He stretched and, just like a true copycat, said, ¡°I¡¯m going to shower too.¡± He walked towards to the bathroom after he finished speaking.


    Song Yu helplessly glanced at his retreating figure and then lowered his head to put on his watch sitting on his desk. He then seemed to abruptly think of something, turning his head around to take a look at the bathroom, and then started to feel some remorse in advance.


    And then, as expected, Yue Zhishi yelled as he turned on the shower.


    ¡°The water¡¯s so cold!¡±


    Even after he changed the water back to an acceptable temperature, Yue Zhishi was still complaining when he came out. ¡°You don¡¯t shower with cold water, do you? It¡¯s so cold, you¡¯re going to catch a cold.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t explain ¡ª it was very likely he might set himself up if he explained why a 21 year old young man needed to take a cold shower after he woke up in the morning.


    He didn¡¯t want to create an awkward situation where he might end up revealing too much about himself, so he quickly changed the topic, shooing Yue Zhishi to hurry up so they could go eat breakfast together.


    The water downstairs hadn¡¯t actually flooded up to the first floor as Song Yu had expected; rather, it had drained away by quite a lot. Yue Zhishi¡¯s entire body was covered in Song Yu¡¯s clothes, and he specifically chose a pair of shorts that reached only to his knees, worried he¡¯d get Song Yu¡¯s pants wet. His very pale pair of calves were exposed, and they were both long and slender.


    Yue Zhishi drank a warm, steamy bowl of eggnog. Eggs were whisked into warmed fermented glutinous rice wine, and it tasted sweet and mellow. He also ate a Chinese doughnut the size of his palm ¡ª this was one of the few fried breakfast food items he wasn¡¯t allergic to. He liked ripping the doughnut apart to eat the crispiest, most delicious inner ring, and then he¡¯d take a bite of the soft and tender outer ring. It was salty, fragrant and crunchy all at the same time, and he was also able to taste the flavours of rice milk and soybeans.


    ¡°Do you have a night self-study session today?¡± Song Yu gave him a tissue.


    Yue Zhishi started to deflate at the mention of this. ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Then let¡¯s head back after lunch. I¡¯ll send you off.¡± Song Yu also drank some eggnog. ¡°You¡¯ll be able to rest after enduring just a little bit more.¡±


    Yue Zhishi really didn¡¯t want to leave, but he still nodded. ¡°And Cotton Candy must feel very strange being at home by himself.¡±


    Song Yu observed Yue Zhishi¡¯s expressions. He didn¡¯t look too upset ¡ª Song Yu felt he had actually, truly grown up.


    After they finished eating, Yue Zhishi said his mouth felt a bit greasy from eating fried things and wanted something to drink. Song Yu could only bring him to the university supermarket he went to yesterday. Yue Zhishi was a classic libra with serious difficulty in making choices, so he stood in front of the row of drink fridges for a very long time.


    Song Yu stood next to him. Quite a few people came and went, and a lot of girls peeked at Yue Zhishi. Not only because of his mixed-race face, but he really did stand out in a crowd of people ¡ª it was very common for him to catch people¡¯s attention. But Song Yu wasn¡¯t too comfortable with this.


    This was even worse than when he himself was surrounded by staring people.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t this the one you were frantically drinking last night?¡± Yue Zhishi lifted up a bottle of cherry-flavoured coke and looked at Song Yu.


    Song Yu corrected him. ¡°I wasn¡¯t frantically drinking it. I was just thirsty.¡±


    This drink also made him think of some unpleasant memories.


    Yue Zhishi looked at the packaging, and a small expression of disdain showed on his face. ¡°Don¡¯t you think this looks like the fever reducing syrup we used to drink? It looks exactly the same.¡± He returned it back to its spot and grabbed a bottle of lemon soda instead. ¡°Just this one.¡±


    Yue Zhishi also picked up a lemon-flavoured lollipop at the register, telling Song Yu to buy it as well.


    After they came out, Song Yu started to chide, ¡°You can¡¯t casually eat things other people give you at school.¡±


    ¡°I haven¡¯t,¡± Yue Zhishi refuted. ¡°I¡¯m not that dumb.¡±


    He¡¯d clearly already agreed to eat food other people brought from home.


    ¡°No matter if it¡¯s fish or other sweets, it¡¯s not like we don¡¯t have them at home. There¡¯s no need to eat stuff outsiders give you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi felt Song Yu¡¯s tone was a bit strange, but he still promised, ¡°I know.¡±


    Only then did Song Yu let the matter drop. The two of them walked around the campus, and in a place with lots of puddles, Yue Zhishi¡¯s foot went into the water and accidentally stepped on something. He yelped.


    Song Yu looked down. It was a red koi fish, but he spoke calmly, unperturbed.


    ¡°Maybe it ran out from the lake nearby after it started flooding.¡±


    But Yue Zhishi felt this wasn¡¯t usual at all ¡ª he felt he was extremely, extraordinarily lucky, and he even clasped his hands together to bow at the koi fish he¡¯d stepped on. ¡°Please give me your blessings so I can smoothly enter your home.¡±


    Song Yu called him superstitious, but he started to scold Song Yu. ¡°When you were taking your college exams, I went out of my way to pray to the gods and ask for their blessings for you.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s perpetually straight mouth involuntarily crooked up a little, and he very naturally asked, taking advantage of the situation, ¡°Then what would you like for your college entrance exams?¡±


    Yue Zhishi froze for a bit after hearing him speak. He¡¯d not considered this problem before. ¡°I need to think about it.¡± He very quickly said, ¡°First¡­¡±


    Song Yu raised an eyebrow. ¡°How many requests do you have?¡±


    Yue Zhishi caught his arm, preventing Song Yu from interrupting his words, and then he said to Song Yu with an upturned face, ¡°First, I hope you can encourage me to test into Wuhan U. I haven¡¯t thought about everything else yet, so I¡¯m automatically extending the deadline to one week after the college entrance exams.¡±


    Song Yu lowered his eyes, a faint smile on his face, looking as if he was expressing his silent consent and indulgence at Yue Zhishi¡¯s rule-modifying behaviour.


    Yue Zhishi left his newly-bought lollipop to just before he needed to leave. The break was about to finish, and there were many people waiting in the subway station. Song Yu swiped his card, saying he¡¯ll send him home, but Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want him to ride back all by himself. He rejected him very maturely.


    The previous subway train whistled in departure as they came off the escalator. Yue Zhishi was very glad.


    He and Song Yu stood shoulder to shoulder in front of the subway¡¯s security doors, and the glass reflected their images back at them. He was wearing Song Yu¡¯s clothes all over his body, and yet it didn¡¯t make him look more like Song Yu. But Yue Zhishi, right now, was starting to learn how to not feel anxious about a nonexistent blood relationship.


    Thinking about himself last time during the parent-teacher meeting, Yue Zhishi laughed out loud as he sucked at the lollipop.


    As they waited for the next train, Yue Zhishi once again repeated his request from last night. Song Yu patiently agreed, saying he¡¯ll definitely come home to see him next weekend.


    ¡°Do you have anything to say to me?¡± Yue Zhishi lifted his face up, gazing at Song Yu¡¯s eyes. He curved his lips and smiled, very beautifully.


    The sound of an approaching subway train gradually neared, and an announcer¡¯s voice started to broadcast over their heads.


    [Dear customers, the train towards Tianhe Airport is about to arrive¡­]


    Yue Zhishi was distracted by the upcoming train ¡ª his body leaned forward, and he tilted his head over to gaze at the track lights. In the next second, his wrist was caught.


    [¡­Please allow others to alight before boarding. Please mind the gap between the platform and the train.]


    In the ever-decreasing gap of time, Song Yu¡¯s voice appeared next to his ear.


    ¡°Le Le.¡±


    Yue Zhishi turned his head around, looking at him in a daze.


    Song Yu¡¯s face was very soft, very gentle, and he looked different from usual. ¡°Encouraging words ¡ª I¡¯ve actually written them into your math textbook last time at the parent-teacher meeting.¡± His gaze held a hint of mischief, but his face was calm and steady. ¡°I know you don¡¯t like math, and I knew you wouldn¡¯t flip back through it. Sure enough, you didn¡¯t notice I wrote something.¡±


    The subway¡¯s security doors opened, the long, airtight train space opening all at once. A multitude of people rushed out from inside, separating to all kinds of different directions. Yue Zhishi felt the hold around his wrist loosen, and he was pushed by a stream of people into that narrow, moving space.


    He realised Song Yu was very cunning. He was very good at hiding things away ¡ª he could conceal a riddle for a very, very long time. He would only reveal a single, solitary clue when Yue Zhishi had no way to continue asking him questions.


    Song Yu knew very well how to torture someone. Right now, Yue Zhishi wanted nothing more than to rush back to him.


    The train doors closed, and the announcement broadcast switched from outside to inside the carriage.


    [¡­Please stand firm and hold on securely. Next stop¡­]


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s cellphone vibrated. He swiped it open, the message jumping out into the front.


    [Gege: I actually really hope you can get into Wuhan U.]


    [Gege: I¡¯ll be here, waiting for you.]


    The author has something to say:


    The parent-teacher meeting will be written

 CH 44

    Chapter 44: A Winding Echo


    The sounds in the train were very noisy. Yue Zhishi stared at the messages on his phone screen, his face calm. His heart was beating very quickly.


    He locked his screen and looked up at the train¡¯s route and upcoming stops. He couldn¡¯t help but turn on his phone once again ¡ª he read through Song Yu¡¯s messages once more, and then he took a screenshot, as if this way he wouldn¡¯t lose the words Song Yu had sent him.


    His hand pulling on the strap handle, Yue Zhishi gazed at his reflection in the train¡¯s glass windows and had a hallucination: the person in the window looked exactly like him, but that person was wearing Peiya¡¯s student uniform.


    And so he remembered the day Song Yu took Lin Rong¡¯s place and came to his parent-teacher meeting.


    It was last year¡¯s October 10th, Yue Zhishi¡¯s birthday. No one would be happy at having a parent-teacher meeting during their birthday. It was very cold that day, the temperature having dropped in the morning. Yue Zhishi was originally wearing his thin sports uniform when Lin Rong called him back and ordered him to change into his knitted vest and winter coat uniform.


    Thinking about it later, Yue Zhishi was very grateful to Lin Rong for forcing him to wear his proper uniform. He later received Lin Rong¡¯s messages during lunch, saying she needed to attend a very important party with Song Jin and that Song Yu was going to the parent-teacher meeting in her place. She even said they¡¯ll make up for his birthday over the weekend.


    His lunch of scrambled eggs with carrots and Sichuan shredded pork with carrots substituting the usual bamboo shoots was actually really hard to eat, but Yue Zhishi was remarkably happy, so excited he didn¡¯t take a nap during his afternoon break. He rushed to clean and organise his entire desk, and when his desk mate came back later, she jumped in shock at his desk, as shiny as new.


    ¡°How¡¯d you do this?¡±


    Yue Zhishi finished scrubbing his desk with wipes for the third time, and after he threw them away, he patted his own hands. ¡°With nothing but my hands.¡±


    He sat behind this bright and clean desk for the next three lessons, and he fastidiously tidied away all the materials he used after each single lesson, making sure to even go through his drawers. It was finally time for the parent-teacher meeting. Most students hated these kinds of meetings ¡ª if they were lucky, they would be invisible during the entire meeting. But for those who weren¡¯t that lucky, they were sending their parents to their own public execution.


    It was the first time Yue Zhishi looked forward to the meeting so much.


    The weather was worse compared to the morning, the sky completely covered in stormy clouds. Yue Zhishi started to worry if it was going to start raining, if Song Yu had brought an umbrella. Their class adviser came in early and pulled up her prepared PowerPoint on the presentation screen, telling the students to later wait outside in the corridor.


    The first parent to arrive for their class was the mother of a female student. She was dressed very plainly and appeared in the classroom door looking a bit lost. Yue Zhishi watched as his classmate led her mother to her seat, and then he couldn¡¯t help but go outside. He crouched near the corridor railings for a while before he went to wait at the top of the stairs.


    ¡°Le Le, is your mom or your dad coming?¡± Another male student was standing at the stairs, and he bumped Yue Zhishi with his shoulder.


    ¡°They¡¯re both busy. My ge¡¯s coming.¡±


    ¡°You have a brother? That¡¯s great.¡±


    A female classmate also walked over. ¡°You didn¡¯t know? Ah, that¡¯s right ¡ª you weren¡¯t here for junior high. His brother used to be our senior in high school, he¡¯s handsome and had good grades.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s vain little heart swelled, and he said, in place of his gege, ¡°He¡¯s not as good as you make him out to be.¡± He then turned his head around, and in that moment, he saw Song Yu.


    Song Yu wore a windbreaker the same black colour as his hair. It set off his sharp features and the outstanding air around him, and it made him extraordinarily easy to see in the crowd of parents. He tilted up his head as he walked up the stairs, and he just so happened to meet Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes. His originally straight mouth faintly moved, and the cold look on his face faded away slightly.


    ¡°Gege.¡± Yue Zhishi took a few steps forward and stood next to him after Song Yu reached the top of the stairs. ¡°I¡¯ll bring you to my seat.¡±


    The girl behind him was still gossiping with the male classmate from before. ¡°See, isn¡¯t he tall and handsome?¡±


    This was the first time Song Yu had come to Yue Zhishi¡¯s classroom, but it felt like Yue Zhishi was the one who found it more novel and exciting.


    His seat was in the second to last row of the third section of the classroom. Yue Zhishi brought Song Yu over, sat him down and pointed at the cup of warm water he¡¯d just poured. ¡°If you¡¯re thirsty, you can drink this.¡±


    Song Yu nodded as soon as he finished speaking. He surveyed his desk without much expression on his face, but he praised, ¡°So clean.¡±


    The female desk mate next to Song Yu sold Yue Zhishi out in front of a good-looking guy. ¡°He was cleaning it the entire afternoon.¡±


    Being thoroughly exposed, Yue Zhishi shot a glare at her. ¡°I didn¡¯t clean it for the entire afternoon¡­¡± He still wanted to recover some face, but he realised Song Yu didn¡¯t seem to really care about it. He was looking around the classroom, so Yue Zhishi asked, ¡°What are you looking at?¡±


    Song Yu pulled his gaze back and looked at Yue Zhishi. ¡°I realised I was in this classroom for my 2nd year of high school.¡±


    Peiya was always changing classrooms, to the point sometimes even the repair team in school would throw away the classroom name plate. After Yue Zhishi entered high school, he¡¯d changed classrooms four times, including the one time their year needed to split up for different streams. He never expected to graduate from the classroom Song Yu had spent his 2nd year in.


    ¡°Really?¡± To Song Yu, Yue Zhishi¡¯s happiness always seemed to come from nowhere.


    Song Yu nodded, his elbows on the table. He very tranquilly added, ¡°I sat behind you.¡±


    His sentence was too mesmerising.


    As if they really were in the same classroom, as if he really did sit behind Yue Zhishi every day ¡ª and as long as Yue Zhishi wanted, he could turn around and see him.


    In a parallel space-time continuum where time was delayed by one year ¡ª if that timeline overlapped with Yue Zhishi¡¯s current universe, then Song Yu would¡¯ve been able to stay with Yue Zhishi through every single difficult-to-endure day as he finished his last year of high school.


    Yue Zhishi froze for a second, and then a smile bloomed outside of his control.


    ¡°Is there anything I can¡¯t see in your desk?¡±


    Yue Zhishi spread out his hands and generously said, ¡°No, feel free to look.¡±


    He only tidied up so cleanly because he wanted to take care of Song Yu¡¯s obsession with cleanliness.


    Their class adviser was pushing the students out of the room, so he had no way to continue staying for longer and could only follow his classmates out. Everyone ended up standing at the windows, peeking in, and observed the reactions between their teachers and their parents. However, Song Yu¡¯s appearance in this parent-teacher meeting was a special case, and he particularly drew everyone¡¯s attention. All of the surrounding classmates were talking about him. Boys said Song Yu played basketball really well, while girls said Song Yu had both handsome looks and fantastic grades ¡ª Yue Zhishi, with his dazzling older brother complex, had no way to compete.


    He looked only at Song Yu. Other parents had their heads up, devoutly and seriously listening to the class adviser as she spoke, but Song Yu didn¡¯t look up at all. He bent his waist and took out a stack of exam papers and textbooks from Yue Zhishi¡¯s drawers.


    ¡°You¡¯re dead,¡± his desk mate said. She was also standing outside the window. ¡°Your brother¡¯s looking at your exams. He won¡¯t go back and tattle on you to your parents, will he?¡±


    Everyone laughed, but Yue Zhishi was incredibly calm. ¡°He won¡¯t. He¡¯s never tattled on me before, and besides, my mom and dad don¡¯t really care if I get good grades or not.¡±


    ¡°Really? That¡¯s so lucky.¡±


    ¡°Then why¡¯d he take them out?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right, I don¡¯t like other people going through my things. Not even good-looking guys.¡±


    Yue Zhishi wrinkled his brows when he heard this person speak. ¡°He¡¯s my ge, not ¡®other people¡¯. I like letting him go through my things.¡± He walked away to another side of the window after he spoke. He was famous for his good temper and popularity ¡ª so not only had he not gotten angry before, he had rarely even spoken harsh words to anyone. He was clearly not happy this time, and all the girls nearby were heavily astonished.


    Another classmate said, ¡°Le Le, you¡¯re not similar to your brother at all, he looks so standoffish. But his facial features are very solid, very sharp ¡ª is he mixed too? How come his hair and eyes are so black?¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought he had too many questions, but he still answered, ¡°He¡¯s not mixed.¡±


    ¡°No wonder, you two don¡¯t look alike at all. You¡¯re not real brothers right? Cousins?¡±


    Yue Zhishi fell silent ¡ª he didn¡¯t really want to answer this question.


    After entering high school, he and Song Yu separated. Even if Yue Zhishi went again to the self-study room next to the high school class 3-5¡¯s classroom, there was no longer anyone who could go home with him. Sometimes, he would stand in front of the college entrance exams honour board in the cafeteria and stare at Song Yu¡¯s name in a daze, but this board stayed for only one year before the names were changed to others.


    He slightly regretted staying at Peiya by himself. He should¡¯ve gone to a new school, where he wouldn¡¯t think of Song Yu at every moment. At the cafeteria, he¡¯d think of the dishes Song Yu detested; at the sports ground, he¡¯d think of how Song Yu had looked like when he was shooting a basketball.


    And the cruelest, most hateful place was the open-air corridor on the third floor.


    ¡°If you¡¯re not real brothers, then your relationship shouldn¡¯t be that close.¡±


    He gazed at the window glass, and his face overlapped with Song Yu¡¯s side profile like a moment of double exposure in photography.


    Abruptly, Yue Zhishi really, really hoped for Song Yu and him to look exactly alike ¡ª to the point other people would be able to guess their relationship at first glance. There would never again be any questions, and he himself would no longer have to carry the anxious weight of constantly second-guessing himself.


    The class adviser came down from the talking podium not much longer. She opened the door, telling the class monitor to either take them outside or to go home. She¡¯d just closed the door again when a girl in the outer crowd suggested going to the cafeteria, and everyone agreed one by one. They all went down together.


    Yue Zhishi left a bit wistfully, taking a few more looks before he walked away. Song Yu had taken off his windbreaker jacket and had draped it over the chair, wearing a white knit shirt. He sat there very peacefully, holding Yue Zhishi¡¯s pen, and lowered his head with a very earnest expression as if he was considering something.


    Yue Zhishi returned back to three years ago in a trance ¡ª he stood outside the classroom, waiting for his gege that had yet to finish his class.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go, Le Le.¡±


    Yue Zhishi turned. ¡°I know.¡±


    The content and general process of parent-teacher meetings were always very similar. The class adviser talked about the seriousness of the college entrance exams and reported the scores from the latest mock tests. Song Yu was very familiar with all of this ¡ª it was just that his role was now flipped, turning into the person who sat below and listened to the class adviser.


    He didn¡¯t really want to listen. He¡¯d heard all of these things for three straight years, and he was so familiar with the content that even if he didn¡¯t listen now, he would still be better at guiding the students than the parents now sitting in place, who knew nothing about college entrance exams.


    Song Yu turned through Yue Zhishi¡¯s exam papers. His English was as good as it always was, and even he was a bit curious ¡ª did blood truly carry knowledge? But Yue Zhishi¡¯s math scores weren¡¯t as great in comparison to the rest of his subjects: his scores fluctuated often and weren¡¯t very stable. His scores were very high when he tested well, but when he didn¡¯t, his scores were very far from the other students who did well.


    He pulled out Yue Zhishi¡¯s booklet of wrong answers, going through that as well, and noticed Yue Zhishi once again answered similar questions incorrectly in the newest test paper. To Song Yu, these questions were very straight-forward and had fairly standard answers, so he lifted up his pen and took this time to explain the questions to Yue Zhishi. In the wrong answers booklet, he even wrote down several common problem-solving methods.


    He concentrated on Yue Zhishi¡¯s work for some time, and then he suddenly heard the class adviser call out Yue Zhishi¡¯s name. Song Yu lifted his head, realising all the parents in front were looking at him.


    ¡°The parent for our Yue Zhishi student is actually one of Peiya¡¯s outstanding graduates: Song Yu. His grades were always at the front while he was still attending our school, and his score for the college entrance exams was also incredibly excellent.¡± The class adviser¡¯s gaze was full of expectation as she looked at Song Yu. ¡°It¡¯s also such a coincidence that he came here today. Can you share with our other parents a bit of what you¡¯ve learned from your study experience, or maybe what they should pay attention to as parents?¡±


    Song Yu was quite unused to this kind of environment. He felt like he wasn¡¯t Yue Zhishi¡¯s older brother right now, but rather more like his father. He pressed his lips together at this strange shifting of seniority and was silent for a moment before he opened his mouth. He said, in a deep voice, ¡°Actually, it¡¯s already too late to be talking about studying.¡±


    His words were truly too direct, and the class adviser shifted in slight awkwardness. ¡°Ah, to be honest¡­¡±


    ¡°But I think there are still things parents need to do. If possible, it would be best to prevent putting too much pressure onto your children. Rather than constantly telling them to study or take care of their bodies, it would be better to care about their mental health ¡ª focus less on their education.¡± Song Yu finished speaking and left a little bit of room for the class adviser¡¯s self-respect. He gave her a faint, slight smile. ¡°I think everything else has been covered quite well by you, class adviser.¡±


    Most likely because he carried the halo of a top-scorer, but there were parents who agreed with everything he said. After he finally sat back down, Song Yu continued placing his focus on his little brother¡¯s test papers. He stacked the papers away neatly after he finished going through most of them and returned them back to the drawer. He placed the wrong answer booklet on top, so that Yue Zhishi would be able to see it as soon as he came back.


    He had accidentally pulled out a math textbook at the same time he pulled out the test papers. It had a purple book cover, and seeing as he had nothing else to do, he opened it and flipped through it as well. Textbooks like these that didn¡¯t need to be given to the teachers were usually filled in quite sparsely.


    And as expected, not only was there not much work in it, this textbook looked like something Yue Zhishi used to waste time. The lower right hand corners contained simple drawings of an anime character Yue Zhishi really liked; when the pages were quickly flipped, the drawings turned into a full-blown fight sequence.


    Only Yue Zhishi would be able to do something like this.


    Song Yu abruptly felt parent-teacher meetings were really interesting. As he looked through the textbook again, many pages were covered by scribbles ¡ª the more Yue Zhishi wrote, the more illegible they became until one particular scribble turned into a heavy dot on the paper. Clearly, Yue Zhishi had been so sleepy he¡¯d lost all consciousness, and yet he still persisted on sitting up straight, pretending to write.


    Just by looking at these marks, Song Yu could imagine a lively, vivid Yue Zhishi.


    He flipped to a random page. He paused, staring at it for a while, and then lifted up his pen to write down a line of words.


    Time flew very quickly as he amused himself this way. After the meeting ended, quite a few parents came to Song Yu¡¯s desk and hoped he could share a bit more with them. Even though Song Yu always spoke little and had a cold face, he couldn¡¯t be too obvious about it. He said a few more things, and he only opened his mouth in blunt refusal when a parent asked for his contact details, hoping to hire him as a home tutor.


    ¡°I¡¯m very busy. I don¡¯t even go home all that often. If I really do need to tutor someone, then that someone will definitely be my family¡¯s child. Right?¡±


    He pulled on his windbreaker and left the classroom. Song Yu didn¡¯t see any traces of Yue Zhishi, so he called him with no one picking up. Yue Zhishi¡¯s phone was usually either on silent mode or turned off completely when he was at school, so Song Yu guessed Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t see his call ¡ª he went to find him himself.


    In reality, Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t even taken out his phone. He was surrounded by many classmates in the cafeteria, with him being the sole centre of a very awkward situation ¡ª a female classmate was suddenly confessing to him. He¡¯d never once thought she would like him, and yet she¡¯d prepared a small birthday surprise. Clamouring boys pressed him onto a chair, so Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t even get up.


    ¡°I specifically went out to get this cake today.¡± The girl was sitting across from him, and she pushed the cake until it reached him. She looked very bashful. ¡°This shop¡¯s cakes are really yummy, I needed to book a week ahead to get this.¡±


    This cake truly did look very beautiful. It was rose and lychee flavoured, and words wishing Yue Zhishi a happy birthday were drawn on top.


    Everyone was making a fuss by the side. Most of them didn¡¯t know he was allergic to wheat, and Jiang Yufan, the only person who knew, was still in science class. They all wheedled Yue Zhishi to cut a piece and try it, and Yue Zhishi had no way of refusing ¡ª he thought he should be okay if he wiped off some of the frosting to taste.


    So he lifted up a fork to swipe some down, secretly trying to calculate how he could later leave without looking too impolite.


    But before he could implement his plan, in the next moment, his wrist was held by a familiar hand.


    He lifted his head and immediately met Song Yu¡¯s pair of cold and stern eyes.


    ¡°He¡¯s allergic. He can¡¯t casually eat cakes from outside places.¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice was very cool, and he yanked Yue Zhishi to his feet.


    The girl on the other side looked a bit awkward ¡ª she¡¯d just confessed, and yet she ended up giving the person she liked something he might be allergic to. This situation was truly unlucky. But Yue Zhishi still nicely said, ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯m okay. Thank you for buying it for me.¡±


    Song Yu pulled him out without letting him continue to speak.


    Wind was harshly blowing outside, and rain had just started to fall. There were already large droplets of water on the ground, and at the speed the rain was falling, Yue Zhishi guessed it was about to start showering. He shrank his neck back into his coat and followed behind Song Yu.


    ¡°You¡¯re going to just eat anything anyone gives you? How many times do I have to say it?¡± Song Yu didn¡¯t look happy. ¡°You didn¡¯t learn enough from your childhood?¡±


    Yue Zhishi felt a bit wronged. ¡°No, I wasn¡¯t going to eat it. She just¡­¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s footsteps stopped, and he looked at Yue Zhishi. ¡°You can eat things just because someone confessed to you?¡±


    How did he know it was a confession¡­


    Yue Zhishi stood there in confusion, briefly pouting before he smoothened out his face. ¡°I wasn¡¯t going to eat the cake. I just wanted to try the frosting so she¡¯d feel better.¡±


    Song Yu stayed in place for a little while, and the rain started to pour. He simply said he understood and walked towards his car before pulling out the keys. He pressed the button, and then he circled around to the passenger seat, opening the car door for Yue Zhishi.


    Yue Zhishi meekly got into the car, sitting next to Song Yu. He realised Song Yu¡¯s hair had gotten shorter ¡ª it truly was very dark, and it didn¡¯t look very inviting to the touch. This difference in hair colour might be the largest disparity in his and Song Yu¡¯s appearances.


    He suddenly thought, maybe he should dye his hair black ¡ª would that make him look more like Song Yu?


    He honestly, really wanted a distinctive and exclusive relationship that couldn¡¯t be cut away at any time.


    His brain swirled in chaos. Thunder suddenly rang outside, and Yue Zhishi raised a hand in automatic reflex ¡ª but Song Yu pressed his hand down. Song Yu didn¡¯t speak, only using his other hand to turn on the car¡¯s music player. He played relaxing, soothing classical piano music.


    The hand holding onto Yue Zhishi had yet to move away.


    In the entire world, Song Yu was the person who understood him the most. What he could eat, and what he couldn¡¯t eat; what he liked, and what he didn¡¯t like; and even the little habits he had during class ¡ª he held all that knowledge in the palm of his hand. All these small, minor details were accumulated from the passage of so many years.


    Yue Zhishi watched as he twisted his body over, grabbing a cleanly beautiful white box from the backseat. He placed it onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s lap.


    ¡°What¡¯s this?¡±


    ¡°Open it yourself.¡±


    A chocolate cake lay inside, and a rich fragrance wafted up. The cake¡¯s smooth and shiny surface reflected a beautiful sheen just like a mirror. It looked very much like something Song Yu would make.


    ¡°There was no more wheat-free flour at home, so I needed to go to a few places to find almond flour. It¡¯s a bit rushed.¡± Song Yu¡¯s perfectionism lowered his own self-evaluation, but Yue Zhishi really liked it ¡ª he didn¡¯t think Song Yu would remember his birthday, let alone spend so much effort to make him a cake.


    ¡°It looks really, really delicious.¡±


    Yue Zhishi had even thought he needed to wait until the weekend to celebrate his birthday, and he¡¯d even thought Song Yu wouldn¡¯t come home and wouldn¡¯t spend the day with him.


    The white flash of lightning flew past, and without waiting for Yue Zhishi to move, Song Yu raised his hands first and covered his ears. Song Yu¡¯s voice came the same time as the thunder, overlapping the beating of his heart.


    ¡°Happy birthday.¡±


    Yue Zhishi remembered he sat in the car and ate a very large piece of cake. A tiny bit of chocolate ganache had even been smudged onto his nose, and Song Yu had been very treacherous ¡ª he didn¡¯t tell him of that smudge at all, and Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t find out until they arrived home.


    He still remembered both Lin Rong and Song Jin hadn¡¯t come home that day. He had clung to Song Yu, chattering about many things, and he¡¯d stayed in Song Yu¡¯s room as he did his homework until midnight had passed.


    At that time, Song Yu had even asked him if he¡¯d properly worked on the textbooks he¡¯d spent money to buy.


    Yue Zhishi had just thought Song Yu was randomly asking him from a parent¡¯s perspective, as a residual effect from the parent-teacher meeting. Now that he thought about it again, Song Yu had been giving him a hint.


    The subway ran much faster than normal. Yue Zhishi swiped his card and left the station, his curious heart driving him to rush home as quickly as he could, seeking the answer hidden away for so long.


    Lin Rong had also just returned home from the airport and found it quite strange when she saw Yue Zhishi dive directly into his room as soon as he entered the house. She went upstairs with a bowl of red bean double milk skin custard. Seeing Yue Zhishi strenuously reaching for the cardboard box on top of his bookshelf, she knocked on the open door. ¡°Darling, what are you doing? Here, have some double milk skin custard.¡±


    Yue Zhishi glanced at her, his arms still struggling to pull down the box. ¡°Aunt Rong, are the textbooks I brought home last semester in this box?¡±


    Lin Rong placed down the bowl and stood there, thinking. ¡°No, I think I put them into that white cabinet for you.¡±


    ¡°Really? Let me have a look.¡±


    Thinking Yue Zhishi might¡¯ve received some kind of stimulation after visiting Wuhan U and wanted to strongly prepare for the last stretch before exams, Lin Rong didn¡¯t dare bother him any longer. ¡°Remember to eat the custard. If you want something, just tell me. Don¡¯t overwork yourself.¡±


    ¡°I will.¡± Yue Zhishi knelt in front of the cabinet, searching through each book without lifting his head to her. Lin Rong closed the door behind her, and he searched for over ten minutes before he finally found the math textbooks he¡¯d previously purchased. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t give up now that he had a narrower scope to search ¡ª he carried all those books to his desk and flipped through all of them.


    He went through each one until he reached the textbook he¡¯d previously drawn in and used most often to kill time. A sense of shame, half a year late, rose in his heart, and only then did Yue Zhishi faintly feel as though he¡¯d found the right one.


    What could it be.


    The hand turning over his textbooks suddenly stopped, and Yue Zhishi¡¯s gaze halted at the same time.


    It was a textbook about mathematical functions. The exercises were all very long, and the first one was about calculating the flow of guests in a particular park. Yue Zhishi still remembered this question ¡ª it was tediously long, going on and on about things he didn¡¯t understand, and even the equivalence relation refinement was ridiculously difficult. At that time, he¡¯d been so tired from answering questions that after he finished reading it, all his brain could think about were the key words of park, guests and holiday. His brain hadn¡¯t wanted to calculate it at all.


    So then, in a fit of rebellion, he¡¯d written down a row of words.


    [Answer: I don¡¯t want to do questions anymore, I only want to go out and play. The park has so many guests, it won¡¯t be much just to add one more me.]


    But when he looked back at it now, an extra line appeared below his words in an entirely different, swift and sharp handwriting.


    [Endure for just a little while longer. I¡¯ll take you after the entrance exams ¡ª I¡¯ll take you wherever you want to go.]


    Was this the encouragement Song Yu was talking about?


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart started to pound, pitter-pattering in its speed. He suddenly felt an illusion ¡ª it felt like he and Song Yu were two people living in two separate timelines in a science fiction movie, and in a wonderful, sudden moment, their timelines started to intersect.


    The words he¡¯d once written down, words no one knew about, now received a reply.


    His fingertips were numb, and his heart was filled to the brim, about to overflow like rainwater. Yue Zhishi reached out a hand and very gently ran his fingers over Song Yu¡¯s writing, unconsciously repeating them in his heart multiple times.


    He felt there should be more; Song Yu wouldn¡¯t have left behind just this one small trace. After tasting one little bit of sweetness, Yue Zhishi continued to turn the pages, seriously flipping through them many times. But he actually hadn¡¯t slacked off often; he had conscientiously, diligently applied himself to most of the questions.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t seem to have played in many places.


    Yue Zhishi was slightly dejected, but he was already very satisfied with the one answer he received.


    He closed the book, and he stared at the cover in a daze. Something flashed across his mind, and his ears started to burn.


    One time, when he hadn¡¯t been paying attention in class, he¡¯d done something very foolish.


    Yue Zhishi frantically opened the textbook again as he thought about this, turning the pages until he finally found the one page that he never wanted to see again.


    He had been so bored. As if he was practicing calligraphy, he¡¯d written Song Yu¡¯s name again and again ¡ª and looking back now at the name he¡¯d repeated many, many times, Yue Zhishi felt his heart speed up again. He couldn¡¯t tell if he was feeling embarrassment or something else. When he silently read out the name, only his own voice resounded in his brain. He called out gege¡¯s name again and again, not hoping for an answer.


    Unexpectedly, he froze. He stared at the last time he¡¯d written that name, gaze fixed on the twentieth time he¡¯d written those two characters.


    [Song Yu]


    A single word was added underneath, echoing back at him.


    [Hm?]

 CH 45

    Chapter 45: Left-Behind Signs


    The late replies didn¡¯t lessen any of the joy Yue Zhishi felt at finding them ¡ª rather, discovering them so late doubled his surprise.


    Before heading back to school for his evening self-study session, he placed into his schoolbag the textbook he¡¯d thrown into a random corner for half a year. But the book was too heavy, so Yue Zhishi took it out again, carefully cutting out the two pages with Song Yu¡¯s replies and tucking them into the grey sketchbook Song Yu had previously given him.


    Looking at Song Yu¡¯s handwriting, Yue Zhishi was suddenly struck by a strong urge to share what he¡¯d just received. He didn¡¯t have someone suitable to share the messages with though, so after thinking a while, he finally posted a post on QQ visible only to himself.


    [Cheese1010: Messages after half a year ¡ª received!]


    Yue Zhishi felt like Song Yu might be a talent sent by the heavens to soothe him. He had never thought he could one day not only not be anxious about separating from Song Yu, but also unable to hold himself back from rushing home.


    No matter when, as long as Song Yu gave him the slightest left-behind hint or signs, it would always be able to arouse his emotions.


    His phone vibrated ¡ª a message from Song Yu.


    [Gege: Home yet?]


    Yue Zhishi initially replied without thinking, but then he deleted the two words he typed in and instead, sent over his photo of the two textbook pages.


    [Yue Zhishi: You¡¯re too good at hiding things. I wouldn¡¯t have been able to hold it in for so long and would¡¯ve brought it out for you to see ages ago.]


    Reading Yue Zhishi¡¯s reply, Song Yu was distracted, thinking of how Yue Zhishi used to play hide and seek when they were younger. Yue Zhishi truly was just like how he said; if both of them were hiding together, Yue Zhishi would never be able to wait and stay still. If they still hadn¡¯t been found after a while, Yue Zhishi would always want to leave their hiding spot. Song Yu had always needed to cover his mouth, forcing him to stay with him and not letting him go out.


    Sometimes, Song Yu had the one seeking. If he called out Yue Zhishi¡¯s name in a room and if Yue Zhishi was in there, there would always be some noise or movement. So Yue Zhishi would always lose ¡ª because he could never keep hidden.


    But Song Yu hadn¡¯t been like that. As long as he wanted to hide, Yue Zhishi would never be able to find him. Yue Zhishi would start crying out of panic, and Song Yu would stand up by himself when he could no longer stand it.


    The relationship between them seemed to always be like this ¡ª they could never clearly tell who was the one forcing the other to do something.


    The dormitory door was suddenly opened. Song Yu came out of his daze and looked over to see Chen Fangyuan, who appeared to have just come back from outside. He noisily grumbled about how tired he was, chucking his bag onto his own desk. ¡°I thought it was going to flood for a week and was hoping for a holiday. Who¡¯d have thought all the water would¡¯ve disappeared today. It clearly isn¡¯t the right time to have an ocean view.¡±


    As he spoke, he saw the neatly arranged pastries on his desk and was a bit puzzled. He glanced at the other desks in the room, and then he shoved his hands into his pockets and strutted over to Song Yu.


    ¡°Tsk tsk tsk¡­¡±


    Song Yu blankly lifted his head and gave him a look before he returned his eyes back to his book. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with you?¡±


    ¡°Tell me honestly, did you bring a girl in here?!¡±


    Song Yu wrinkled his brows and flipped a page. He said calmly, ¡°You must¡¯ve gone crazy.¡±


    Chen Fangyuan braced himself up on Song Yu¡¯s desk. ¡°Don¡¯t even think about lying to me. There are already gifts to us on our desk.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t even bother lifting his head. ¡°Someone from my family sent it over. I put it on your desks.¡±


    ¡°Bullshit. You never placed things so nicely on our desks. Every time you came back with stuff from home, you¡¯d always left it on the window frame and told us to get it ourselves. Besides, look at this.¡± Chen Fangyuan pointed at the flowers hanging on Song Yu¡¯s wall. ¡°Look at these little white flowers!¡±


    Being a full-blown drama queen, Chen Fangyuan stood in front of Song Yu¡¯s desk and laboriously sniffed at the flowers¡¯ fragrance like a little puppy. He then exclaimed, full of pleasure and satisfaction, ¡°Ah, the perfume of my sister-in-law.¡±


    Song Yu could feel goosebumps popping up on his skin. ¡°¡­.You¡¯re sick.¡±


    ¡°I have a very serious case of appearance obsession. Since your eyes are grown on the top of your head, anyone who can get you to lower them and give her a look must be a super gorgeous lady. She must definitely be a pale-skinned, beautiful, long-legged sweetheart. I want to see her.¡±


    Even though he clearly knew Chen Fangyuan was someone who liked to constantly quip and make jokes, Song Yu seemed to be brainwashed by his diabolical chattering ¡ª he seriously compared his description one by one.


    Pale-skinned, beautiful, long-legged, sweetheart¡­ Honestly, there wasn¡¯t much difference.


    Being mixed-race would probably be even better in Chen Fangyuan¡¯s eyes.


    ¡°I feel like my desk¡¯s been tidied by my sister-in-law, it¡¯s so clean.¡± Chen Fangyuan jumped back over, rubbing the top of his desk. It was way too spotless, so he thought about how it¡¯d looked like before he left. ¡°I remember there were a few books lying around in a mess, and the chair wasn¡¯t pushed in neatly.¡±


    Song Yu was speechless. ¡°I cleaned them up.¡±


    Chen Fangyuan directly rejected his words. ¡°I don¡¯t believe you. You¡¯re not that good of a person ¡ª I definitely have a sister-in-law now. I want to see her!¡±


    ¡°Go see her in your dreams.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t want to explain that the person who¡¯d visited was his younger brother. Besides, Chen Fangyuan wouldn¡¯t believe him even if he told him.


    As expected, when Chen Fangyuan saw the toiletries that had yet to be put away in the bathroom, he immediately started to loudly make a fuss.


    ¡°She even stayed the night?! Song Yu, you! You¡¯ve got some guts!¡±


    Song Yu popped in his earphones, sighing, ¡°I¡¯m not like that. You¡¯re overthinking it.¡±


    One week after Yue Zhishi returned back to school, Peiya held its 70th anniversary celebration ceremony. The school considered this anniversary year very important, and everything was done with great momentum and effort. The junior and high school departments were both brought together, and they loudly and happily celebrated for quite a few days.


    But the joy all belonged to others ¡ª Yue Zhishi, as a high school third year student, had no time to participate in anything.


    In this aspect, Peiya had always been very willing to spend money. In order to memorialise their 70th anniversary, the school leaders specifically invited a crew of professional cameramen to film the entire school celebrations. Yue Zhishi, who had no fate with the celebrations, was accidentally pulled to the side as he walked back to his classroom building with his classmates from the cafeteria. He was stopped by the filming director and was asked to record a short interview and blessings for Peiya.


    The school celebrations included parties and cultural festivals, and the scope of their invitations was very wide ¡ª even someone like Song Yu, who graduated three years ago, also received a message. It was just that he was too busy and didn¡¯t have the time to go back.


    And since Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t participating, Song Yu didn¡¯t think there was any need for him to go back.


    But on the night of the celebration ceremony, Song Yu received a WeChat link from Lin Rong as he sat in his dorm and wrote a report. Videos and photos all poured out once he opened it; Lin Rong had run over by herself to play.


    [Mom: I went to see Le Le and took some videos while I was there. Have a look!]


    At this point, it was entirely more like she¡¯d gone to see Le Le while she was there.


    Song Yu wasn¡¯t too interested in the photos and videos she sent over. He carelessly scrolled down, and since there wasn¡¯t anything new, he was about to close out of it. Just then, Lin Rong sent over a new message ¡ª this time, it was just a repost of an official WeChat account¡¯s post.


    [Mom: Xiao Yu, hurry and have a look, Le Le¡¯s in the video in this post! 3 minutes 12 seconds!]


    Song Yu only then clicked into it after seeing her message. The link jumped to Peiya Secondary School¡¯s official Weibo account and was an article recording all the celebrations held for this year¡¯s anniversary. Song Yu moved his mouse, looking for the video his mom mentioned, and finally saw it at the very bottom. It was captioned as Peiya students and teachers celebrating the school¡¯s 70th anniversary.


    He¡¯d just clicked on it when dormitory leader Wang Chengzhi walked over with his phone. ¡°Song Yu, have you filled in the application form? I¡¯ve sent it to you already.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll fill in it later.¡±


    ¡°What are you doing?¡± Wang Chengzhi took a look at his laptop. ¡°School anniversary? You¡¯re from Peiya? I saw a lot of people posting it about it lately in my moments ¡ª guess they¡¯re all your school mates.¡±


    Song Yu nodded. He directly forwarded the video to the 3 minutes 12 seconds Lin Rong had said and, sure enough, saw Yue Zhishi.


    In the video, that guy was walking around unsuspectingly and didn¡¯t even look at where he was going; he was even a bit stunned when he was stopped.


    The interview host was very friendly, guiding Yue Zhishi to look at the camera. ¡°Hello, student. Have you participated in the Peiya anniversary celebrations lately?¡±


    It seemed like there was more than one camera ¡ª Yue Zhishi looked around for a while. ¡°Ah, I¡­ I¡¯m in my third year of high school. I don¡¯t have the time to get involved, but I¡¯m actually really envious of all the students who have.¡±


    The host then asked a few more questions, and Yue Zhishi answered them very sincerely and even stood very tall and straight.


    Seeing Song Yu watching so earnestly, Wang Chengzhi couldn¡¯t help but ask, ¡°This handsome little fellow looks mixed. You know him?¡±


    Song Yu glanced at his dormitory leader. ¡°Yes, a little brother in my family.¡±


    ¡°You even have a brother, so lucky.¡± Wang Chengzhi clearly misunderstood him. ¡°Your family genes go against the laws of nature.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t explain, and when he returned back to the video, the interview had already reached the stage of sending Peiya his blessings. Yue Zhishi smiled like a sunflower, his posture perfectly straight. ¡°I wish our school will be better every year and will continue on for another seventy years.¡±


    Another boy suddenly appeared in the video at this moment ¡ª he was very tall, taller than Yue Zhishi by over half a head. His hair was very short, and he threw an arm over Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulders from the back, his smile very bright. ¡°Seventy years isn¡¯t enough. Make it another seven hundred years.¡±


    In the video, Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t immediately push him off. Instead, he was amused enough to laugh. ¡°Seven hundred years is too long.¡±


    That boy continued holding onto Yue Zhishi with this intimate posture, and he even reached out a hand to the camera, shifting it into the shape of half a love heart. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t get it at first and was lightly shoved by the boy¡¯s shoulder ¡ª he only then understood, and Yue Zhishi foolishly laughed as he slapped away that boy¡¯s hand. ¡°You¡¯re so strange.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s so strange about this? Peiya, happy birthday!¡±


    Very quickly, the camera shot changed, and the people in the video became other students. Wang Chengzhi was just sighing, ¡°Your brother¡¯s looks stand out among the crowd of people in the video. Even though that other student just now was also a bit good-looking, he¡¯s a long way off from your brother.¡±


    As he spoke, he noticed Song Yu didn¡¯t respond and was being a bit strange. He lowered his head and looked at him ¡ª Song Yu¡¯s mood seemed to have changed for the worse.


    Was it just his imagination?


    Song Yu didn¡¯t watch that video anymore. He closed it right away and opened his chat with Wang Chengzhi to find that form.


    ¡°Is this the application you were talking about?¡±


    Wang Chengzhi replied, ¡°Ah, yes¡­ just send it to me after you¡¯ve filled it in.¡±


    What the hell, he felt like a completely different person.


    That night, Song Yu was extraordinarily reticent. And completely unusually, he got into bed really early, looking as he was planning to sleep. Chen Fangyuan was in the bed across from him and felt like something was wrong, so he sent a message to Wang Chengzhi.


    [Chen Fangyuan: What¡¯s wrong with Sending Fish today? He¡¯s in bed so early, he can¡¯t be sick, can he?]


    [Wang Chengzhi: I don¡¯t know, he was a bit weird earlier when he was filling in the application form. I think he suddenly became unhappy after watching a video.]


    [Chen Fangyuan: Video? Fuck, my Fish bro wouldn¡¯t have been cheated on??]


    [Wang Chengzhi: ¡­¡­how is that possible, he doesn¡¯t even have a partner. How could he get cheated on when he¡¯s not dating.]


    [Chen Fangyuan: I think he does, my sixth sense is telling me Song Yu is dating.]


    The Song Yu laying in bed had entirely no idea of his two roommates¡¯ chat. He simply wanted to sleep earlier, but contrarily to what he wanted, the more he wanted to sleep early, the less he was able to fall asleep.


    He opened his phone once again, the light shining onto the wall. He hesitated and then opened the chat history between him and Lin Rong, staring at that link ¡ª he was about to click on it, but then a new WeChat notification popped up. It was Yue Zhishi.


    [Yue Zhishi: Gege, I got a really high score for this week¡¯s math test, look.]


    Yue Zhishi sent across a photo of his test paper and then very happily pulled out the paper again to look at it. Not long after, he received Song Yu¡¯s reply.


    [Gege: Mn.]


    Only a ¡®mn¡¯? Yue Zhishi was a bit disappointed at this reply, but he noticed, at the very top of the chat, that Song Yu was currently typing. He patiently waited and waited, waited until the currently typing indicator disappeared and yet no new messages appeared. After a little while longer, it once again said Song Yu was currently typing¡­


    Yue Zhishi impatiently sent over a message.


    [Yue Zhishi: Are you writing an essay gege]


    One minute later, he finally received a message from Song Yu.


    He first sent over a screenshot of Yue Zhishi¡¯s interview. The screenshot was of nothing else except that incomplete love heart.


    [Gege: Is this the guy who was dragging you to play games?]

 CH 46

    Chapter 46: Two-Way Sleeping Aid


    Yue Zhishi frowned as he looked at the screenshot Song Yu sent over.


    [Yue Zhishi: You took a terrible looking screenshot of me, I¡¯m all blurry]


    [Gege: Don¡¯t change the topic.]


    Yue Zhishi thought for a while and felt this was a great opportunity to give Song Yu a phone call. He prepared to press the voice call button, but he accidentally pressed the wrong option and sent over a video call request instead.


    As he moved about in a panic, Yue Zhishi wanted to quickly hang up and send over a new request before Song Yu noticed ¡ª but Song Yu actually picked up the video call.


    In the camera, Song Yu¡¯s side was completely dark, looking as if all the lights in his room had already been turned off. The only source of light was from Song Yu¡¯s phone screen, and it was only enough to illuminate Song Yu¡¯s face.


    It was strange ¡ª Song Yu turned incredibly good-looking underneath this kind of light. The camera was very close to his face, and his facial features were very much magnified. It was almost as if he was right next to him.


    Yue Zhishi stared at him for a little bit. His phone vibrated, so he left the video call screen to see a message from Song Yu.


    [Gege: Why a video call?]


    [Gege: Dorm lights are all off, I can¡¯t talk.]


    Yue Zhishi returned back to the video call and gave Song Yu an OK hand sign, telling him, ¡°I originally wanted to voice call, I just accidentally pressed the wrong button.¡±


    His phone vibrated again.


    [Gege: Then I¡¯m hanging up.]


    Yue Zhishi immediately shook his head at Song Yu. ¡°Don¡¯t don¡¯t don¡¯t, I want to video chat with you, just for a little while.¡±


    [Gege: Don¡¯t you have anything to explain?]


    Yue Zhishi only then remembered why he originally wanted to call. ¡°Ah, right. You were talking about games. I don¡¯t really play anymore, I haven¡¯t played even once ever since I came back. The guy in the screenshot is the classmate who played with me last time. I¡¯ve told you this before, but how did you know it was him?¡±


    In the video, Yue Zhishi could see Song Yu¡¯s flat lips. He didn¡¯t look very happy, so Yue Zhishi softened his voice and called out, gege. Only then did his phone vibrate again.


    [Gege: I guessed.]


    ¡°You¡¯re so amazing, you got it right on the first guess. I actually only played with him two or three times. He plays more often with the other guys in our class.¡±


    [Gege: Are you guys close?]


    After reading that message, Yue Zhishi picked up the yoghurt on his desk, took a sip and casually said, ¡°We¡¯re okay. I get along well with everyone else in our class.¡±


    Song Yu typed in a few words, deciding at the end to delete and change the person he wanted to compare with.


    [Gege: What about compared to Jiang Yufan.]


    Yue Zhishi pretty much replied without a single bit of hesitation. ¡°That¡¯s not a valid comparison at all, we only met in 2nd year after our year split class streams. Of course my relationship with Jiang Yufan is the strongest.¡±


    Song Yu felt the tightness in his chest relax upon hearing Yue Zhishi¡¯s words.


    He didn¡¯t know whether his intuition was right or not, but he truly wasn¡¯t in a good mood after watching that video.


    It wasn¡¯t often Yue Zhishi had the opportunity to video chat with Song Yu, so he took the chance to tell gege a bunch of stuff that had recently happened. How much weight Cotton Candy recently gained again, how many cans of cat food Orange ate every day ¡ª Song Yu¡¯s expression didn¡¯t change much under the camera, but he flipped over, looking as if he shifted over to a more comfortable, more relaxed sleeping position.


    As he continued looking at the screen, Yue Zhishi also lay down on his desk without realising, his head on its side resting in the crook of his elbows. Song Yu¡¯s eyelashes were very obvious at such a close distance, the contours of his face right in front of Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes.


    He quietly watched him, and Yue Zhishi felt like he once again returned to that night he and Song Yu had been trapped together due to the storm.


    ¡°Gege, how come you¡¯re sleeping so early? Are you really tired?¡±


    After listening to Yue Zhishi speak for such a long time, Song Yu was a bit absent-minded and forgot he couldn¡¯t open his mouth to speak. He said, ¡°Mn.¡±


    ¡°I won¡¯t chat with you for too long then, in case I¡¯m bothering your sleep. I still need to memorise some texts.¡± Yue Zhishi was afraid Song Yu was still thinking he was playing games, so he specifically said, ¡°I¡¯m going to uninstall that game in a bit, I¡¯ll download it again after the exams.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t speak, but the curve of his mouth slightly eased. Yue Zhishi smiled at him and said, ¡°Hurry and sleep. Good night.¡±


    ¡°Good night.¡±


    Song Yu subconsciously murmured in reply and then hung up the video. He abruptly heard sneaky laughter spiralling through the dorm room and uncertainly turned around. Three cell phone torches shone directly at him, almost exactly as if he was being interrogated by three people at the same time.


    ¡°Who¡¯re you saying good night to, handsome man ¡ª you¡¯re being so attentive, your ice cool persona¡¯s smashed to bits.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re thinking too much, he¡¯s definitely saying good night to me.¡±


    ¡°Fuck, is someone else losing their single status in our dorm?¡±


    ¡°You guys really have nothing else to talk about.¡± Song Yu put in his earphones, closing his eyes to sleep.


    This time, he fell asleep very quickly.


    The college entrance exams were imminent. A large countdown number was written on the upper right hand corner of the classroom¡¯s blackboard, and it changed every day, the number reducing as the days passed.


    Everyone started arriving earlier and earlier and started leaving later and later ¡ª all of their energy and time were invested into their final sprint of studying.


    The atmosphere felt like it was being compressed tighter as well. The air turned so heavy it was hard to move, and it pressed onto everyone¡¯s shoulders together along with all the knowledge they couldn¡¯t remember.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart was much lighter, his psychological state more peaceful compared to everyone else. His desk mate had already cried twice, and she¡¯d even hid from Yue Zhishi the first time as she cried in the female bathroom. When she returned with red eyes, Yue Zhishi knew she was stressed and gave her the rainbow candy he¡¯d just bought. For the second time, she directly collapsed and cried onto her desk.


    ¡°Come on, Zhang Yueyue, you¡¯re already crying when it¡¯s not even the exams yet.¡±


    Hearing someone joke like this, Yue Zhishi said seriously, ¡°Crying is an effective way of relieving stress. You should cry before the exams ¡ª it¡¯ll be too late to cry after.¡±


    And just like that, the last ten-odd days before the college entrances exams streaked by in chaos and turmoil. The last night before the exams arrived in a flash, and in order to relax them all, their class adviser stood at the podium and told them her embarrassing stories back when she¡¯d taken the exams. As he sat there and listened, Yue Zhishi fell into a bit of a daze.


    He¡¯d clearly really hated waking up so early and coming home so late every day. He hated reviewing and memorising all the different kinds of little knowledge requirements day in and day out and hated answering the same kinds of questions again and again. These kind of monotonous, dull and tightly scheduled days ¡ª he had looked forward to them ending earlier every day.


    But when the day finally arrived and he could see the end, Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t willing to leave those days behind.


    There were still thirty seconds to the end of the night self-study session. A boy in their class suddenly yelled out, ¡°High school year 3, class 10, jiayou!¡±


    Everyone was originally a bit stunned, but after only two, three seconds, someone laughed ¡ª and someone followed along and yelled out jiayou as well. More and more people joined in, and their loud voices passed through the walls and spread to the next door class.


    They didn¡¯t know how, but the entire high school third year students started yelling and screaming. Their voices reverberated through the entire building ¡ª as if they were all cheering on each other.


    After he rode home, Yue Zhishi drank a cup of warm milk under Lin Rong¡¯s instructions. He showered and cleaned up early, got into bed and checked all the things he needed to bring tomorrow to the examination centre before preparing to go to sleep.


    It was only 10:30pm when he lay down on his bed.


    There was no way he could fall asleep.


    He tossed and turned for a very long time, and Yue Zhishi realised his heart was beating very quickly. His brain couldn¡¯t stop thinking about tomorrow, and he became more awake the longer he thought about it.


    He was too nervous.


    He pulled out his phone. The lock screen lit up ¡ª it was the photo he¡¯d taken of Wuhan U¡¯s front entrance the last time he was there. He stared at it for a long time in the darkness. He didn¡¯t come back to attention until a message from Song Yu appeared.


    [Gege: Remember to double check every pen to see if they work. Relax.]


    How could it be so easy. Yue Zhishi felt gloomy: when it was Song Yu¡¯s turn for the entrance exams, it was Yue Zhishi who¡¯d fallen sick from nervousness, and now when it was finally his turn, he was still so nervous. He was nervous twice for something he was going to take only once ¡ª what a loss.


    He felt there was no way he was going to fall asleep if he continued on this way. He hesitated for a time before he finally couldn¡¯t hold himself back from giving Song Yu a call. The phone rang only once, and then it was picked up.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice was incredibly low through the airwaves. As it passed to him in the darkness of nighttime, it gave Yue Zhishi a concrete sense of comfort, as if it was a grey cloud. It looked very cold, but when he reached out a hand to touch it, he could feel its softness.


    Yue Zhishi was snuggled underneath his blanket. He flipped over, saying, ¡°I have a bit of insomnia.¡±


    ¡°Can¡¯t sleep?¡±


    He heard Song Yu deliberately lowering the volume of his voice.


    ¡°Mn. I tried sleeping, but maybe I¡¯m too nervous, because the more I tell myself to sleep the more I feel awake. Can you talk to me for a bit and distract me?¡±


    Song Yu was quiet for two seconds. ¡°Are you sure you won¡¯t be even less likely to sleep after hearing me talk?¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought for a bit and felt Song Yu was right ¡ª but there was an exception. ¡°But when you talk to me about math questions, I get sleepy so easily.¡±


    It sounded like Song Yu lightly laughed, over the phone. Yue Zhishi keenly heard him, so he laughed as well.


    ¡°Where can I find math questions for you right now?¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice carried a slight hint of helplessness.


    ¡°True.¡± Yue Zhishi closed his eyes, imagining Song Yu was right next to him. ¡°Then can you pretend to be a math teacher and lecture to me about something I¡¯d fall asleep to?¡±


    Some scuffling noises transferred over through the phone, and they sounded like someone was looking for something. Very quickly, Yue Zhishi heard Song Yu stand up and move somewhere else; the background sounds changed, and it sounded like there was a lot of empty space where Song Yu was.


    After a few seconds, he heard Song Yu quietly ask, ¡°What do you think about Oxford¡¯s Very Short Introductions: Mathematics?¡±


    ¡°Even just the title of it sounds really sleep-inducing,¡± Yue Zhishi said, agreeing.


    He heard the sound of pages turning, and shortly after, Song Yu started speaking in a deep voice. His speaking voice was very low with very little emotional fluctuations, but it resonated very beautifully and calmed Yue Zhishi¡¯s restless spirits.


    ¡°¡­When we examine the answer to a physics problem, eighty to ninety percent of the time, we can draw a clear line between the scientific and mathematical contributions to the answer¡­¡±


    The words he recited were obscure and hard to understand. But as they entered into Yue Zhishi¡¯s ear, the words seemed to peel away and become simple audio waves, pouring into Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart. It felt like he was moving up and down with the undulation of the waves, and his breathing slowed, his limbs slackening ¡ª he finally entered a calm and serene state of mind.


    ¡°¡­It turns out that even very simple models of the interacting particle system are extremely complex. They have led to exceedingly difficult to solve ¡ª in fact, most of the unsolved ¡ª mathematical problems.¡±


    As he heard the steady breathing from over the phone, Song Yu slowed down the speed of his words until he finally came to a stop.


    The most complicated, hardest to solve problem in the world seemed to have temporarily received some peace.


    ¡°Good night.¡±


    Standing in an empty corridor, Song Yu softly closed the book in his hands. He stood there quietly for a moment and then returned back to his dorm.


    ¨C


    The time during the exams seemed to flow at a different speed compared to all other times. It felt like he¡¯d only just entered the examination centre and watched the proctor open the sealed bag of exams ¡ª and then suddenly, one day had gone by.


    After finishing his first day, Yue Zhishi felt like he¡¯d done quite well. The math exam had quite a few questions he¡¯d specifically studied for. Peiya had organised a school bus to take them all back to school, and students on the bus were all comparing answers. He didn¡¯t want to listen to them, so he put on his earphones and listened to music.


    People were saying their examination questions had entered onto Weibo¡¯s hot searches. Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t in the mood to look it up ¡ª he only opened the chat between him and Song Yu.


    [Yue Zhishi: The book you read to me yesterday was great for sleeping.]


    [Yue Zhishi: Do you read it too when you can¡¯t sleep?]


    He only received Song Yu¡¯s reply when they were about to get off the bus, Song Yu¡¯s helplessness towards him leaking through the words.


    [Gege: I don¡¯t read this kind of book because I need to sleep.]


    Yue Zhishi laughed at his phone.


    The English and literature analysis exams the second day were both his strengths, but Yue Zhishi still begged Song Yu to read another night¡¯s worth of that book. Song Yu agreed.


    A senior sister in the same research lab saw Song Yu stand up and head towards the kitchenette next door with a thick book in his hands. She thought he wanted to take a break ¡ª he¡¯d worked through the entire day without even eating dinner, all just to finish organising the data earlier.


    She thought for a bit and then opened a drawer. She pulled out a bag of granola and a packet of oreos and got up, preparing to give them to her junior brother.


    She walked to the entrance of the kitchenette and saw Song Yu¡¯s back. He wore earphones and recited out the book¡¯s contents in a speed neither too fast or too slow ¡ª his voice didn¡¯t really sound different, but the tone of it was completely different compared to what he usually used in the research lab, no longer cold and emotionless.


    This was very tricky to hear, because he wasn¡¯t reciting some prose poetry, but rather some boring mathematics and science book ¡ª and yet the flow of emotions concealed in his voice was crystal clear and easily heard.


    Her intuition told her not to bother him, and so she lightly closed the door, placing the granola and cookies onto Song Yu¡¯s empty workspace.


    She suddenly realised ¡ª this perpetually taciturn and uncommunicative junior brother wasn¡¯t really all that different.


    Desperately compressing the amount of work even three days might not be enough to complete into two days ¡ª he was probably rushing to go somewhere, to see someone.


    Yue Zhishi was full of energy from the nighttime¡¯s sleeping aid reading materials. He specialised in the second day¡¯s exam topics, and the weather was also fantastic. Everything went very smoothly, and when the bell finally rang at the end, he finally looked at the name written on the exam paper.


    It felt like he was participating in a long-distance stamina test. He kept desperately running forward, following the rules and wishes of other people in a never-ending struggle with his willpower.


    When it reached the final second, the timer on the stop watch was pressed. The energy from his entire body leaked away, and he left this track that had trapped him.


    It was finally finished.


    Everyone was much calmer than expected, with only one student loudly yelling out something after he left the exam venue. Yue Zhishi followed along in the bustling streams of people, heading outside; there were many parents and families waiting, and he had nowhere to focus his eyes, only a tiny thought telling him to repeatedly search around.


    And finally, his eyes accidentally met with another pair of eyes.


    Song Yu wore a white t-shirt and blue jeans, his head covered with the baseball cap Yue Zhishi had worn last time to see him at Wuhan U. He gave him a very slight smile.


    He clearly was dressed very normally, and yet Yue Zhishi felt all the light had wrapped around his body.


    He ran forward, stopping in front of Song Yu.


    ¡°Looks like you did well.¡± Song Yu simply assessed his mood.


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t hide the smile on his face. ¡°I¡¯m already really close to my first college entrance exams wish ¡ª looks like the koi fish at Wuhan U really did protect me after all.¡±


    Song Yu raised an eyebrow. ¡°You stepped on it, and yet it still protected you ¡ª what a fish to repay injury with kindness.¡±


    The two of them saw Lin Rong and Song Jin not too far away as they continued speaking and waved at them. It had been a while since the entire family gathered together, and Lin Rong sat in the passenger seat, happily chattering away. To Yue Zhishi, it felt like he entered some kind of time loop ¡ª it felt like he returned to three years ago, with Uncle Song driving the car and Aunt Rong sitting in the passenger seat as they carefully planned out what to do after the exams.


    ¡°Let¡¯s eat at home, I already made the dishes you two like the most as well as a cheesecake and some mango pomelo sago.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded. He watched as Song Yu leaned back against the upholstered seat and quietly asked when he arrived.


    ¡°Just then. I took the subway over,¡± Song Yu said very simply.


    Taking the subway must¡¯ve been very tiring. Yue Zhishi asked again, ¡°You didn¡¯t drive?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m a bit sleepy.¡± Song Yu¡¯s elbow was wedged against the car windowsill as he held his chin. ¡°It¡¯ll be dangerous to drive.¡±


    Yue Zhishi moved a bit closer and pulled at Song Yu¡¯s arm. He patted his own shoulder, his face confidently saying he was worth relying on. ¡°You can sleep on me.¡±


    Song Yu glanced at him and then turned his face away. ¡°I¡¯m not a child like you.¡±


    Lin Rong couldn¡¯t help but laugh after hearing that exchange. ¡°Now that¡¯s where you¡¯re wrong. In this car today, Le Le is the biggest.¡±


    Song Jin was driving, but he very cooperatively asked why. Lin Rong said, ¡°Because examinees are the biggest.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right.¡± Yue Zhishi pulled at Song Yu, simply just to drag him to his own shoulder. ¡°Just sleep on me for a bit, we¡¯ll be home when you wake up.¡±


    As if afraid Song Yu wouldn¡¯t agree, Yue Zhishi leaned in, right to his ear, and said very softly, ¡°Just think of it as a gift in return for the last two days. Didn¡¯t you also help me sleep?¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand grabbed at his shoulder, and he felt like Song Yu¡¯s body stiffened for a bit. Luckily, his argument seemed to have worked ¡ª Song Yu agreed at the end. He curved over a bit unwillingly, shifting around for a better position and looking as if he wasn¡¯t really satisfied. Yue Zhishi thought he wanted to get back up and said in a bit of fluster, ¡°Do my shoulder bones stick out too much? Are you not comfortable?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡±


    In the next moment, the Song Yu who Yue Zhishi thought was going to sit straight back up, tugged the brim of his cap lower and lay back down. But this time, he wasn¡¯t aiming for Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulder ¡ª he directly lay down on Yue Zhishi¡¯s legs.


    ¡°This is much better.¡±

 CH 47

    Chapter 47: The Last Night


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s body subconsciously tensed.


    So letting others borrow your lap as a pillow can make you so nervous. He couldn¡¯t help thinking of his childhood ¡ª he seemed to have constantly slept on Song Yu¡¯s legs, and he would always sleep particularly well.


    Now that the roles were reversed, Yue Zhishi felt it was an interesting experience. At the same time, he felt a subtle sense of responsibility and didn¡¯t dare move at all, worried Song Yu would be uncomfortable and wouldn¡¯t be able to sleep.


    He lowered his head and looked at the light hand Song Yu had rested on his knee. His fingers were very long, each joint clearly defined. It was the nicest looking hand Yue Zhishi had seen since he was a child.


    And the most important thing was ¡ª he was still wearing that old watch.


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but have a slight sense of regret. If he¡¯d known Song Yu would always keep wearing it, he would¡¯ve earned more at that time and bought gege a better, more expensive watch.


    The car moved calmly, but they had just entered rush hour. It was very noisy outside, so Yue Zhishi mimicked how Song Yu soothed him to sleep, placing his own hand softly onto the side of Song Yu¡¯s face, and looked outside.


    The clouds wrapped around the setting sun turned into a gentle and soft pastel orange colour.


    The sky was like a bowl of clear white fungus sweet soup, slightly yellow with a large piece of grapefruit flavoured marshmallow floating on top.


    Song Yu woke up when they were close to home. He pulled off his cap and very quickly fixed up his hair before putting it back on and stretching his neck. He woke up so coincidentally that Yue Zhishi wondered if he had truly fallen asleep.


    ¡°Did you sleep well?¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s urgent enquiry was like a newly downloaded app immediately asking for user feedback and rating.


    Song Yu only looked out the window, not looking at him.


    ¡°It was fine.¡±


    He couldn¡¯t really hear any tone to those words, but Yue Zhishi was already very happy despite his legs being a bit numb.


    All four of them sat together in a rare family dinner and celebrated Yue Zhishi surviving the the difficult college entrance exams. Song Jin couldn¡¯t help but drink some alcohol, and as he ate, he started talking about Yue Zhishi¡¯s father. His face was flushed, and he almost started crying ¡ª luckily, both Yue Zhishi and Lin Rong were there to gently calm him down, so he didn¡¯t actually cry.


    ¡°Yue Yi would¡¯ve died laughing if he saw you like this.¡± Lin Rong returned back to her seat, giving Song Jin a bowl of soup. ¡°How old are you?¡±


    Song Jin gave a long sigh. ¡°The last few days, I¡¯ve been talking to Yue Yi in my office every day, telling him to protect Le Le and to not have anything bad happen. Everything needed to go smoothly.¡±


    His office desk still held a photo of the two of them, taken during high school.


    Hearing this, Song Yu asked, without any expression on his face, ¡°Did he talk back to you?¡±


    Yue Zhishi cracked up, laughing until he collapsed onto Song Yu¡¯s shoulder. ¡°If he did, then that¡¯ll be a spiritual photo.¡±


    ¡°But everything went so smoothly for you this time. It didn¡¯t rain during your exams ¡ª really such good luck.¡± Lin Rong couldn¡¯t help but emotionally sigh, ¡°If Yue Yi and Olivia knew about this, they would definitely be very happy. Ah, that¡¯s right.¡± Lin Rong seemed to suddenly remember something, abruptly getting up and leaving the table. She held a photo album when she came back, and the photos inside were individual photos of Yue Zhishi when he took part of that interview last time during the school celebrations.


    ¡°Look, our Le Le¡¯s so handsome. These high points in life must always be saved.¡±


    Yue Zhishi ate a large piece of pork rib steamed in rice flour, and as he chewed, he said, ¡°This can¡¯t be considered as one of the high points in my life, I was only randomly pulled into the interview.¡±


    ¡°But they only grabbed you because you were good-looking, or else why wouldn¡¯t they also randomly interview other people?¡± Lin Rong gave the photo album to Song Yu, telling him to hand it to Yue Zhishi. She remembered that she¡¯d sent him some messages on WeChat that day. ¡°Did you see the photos I sent you of the celebrations? And your brother¡¯s interview video?¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s face obviously turned annoyed at this reminder. ¡°Yeah.¡±


    ¡°You sound so perfunctory. Not only do you sneer at motherly love now, but you¡¯re also starting to scoff at your brother?¡±


    Song Yu had nothing to say to this teasing, stuffing the photo album into Yue Zhishi¡¯s hands.


    Lin Rong gave Yue Zhishi a piece of stir-fried chilli ciba-style fish. ¡°Talking about that interview, it was such a coincidence that Shen Mi was also interviewed with you. That child¡¯s so amusing.¡±


    ¡°Mm.¡± Yue Zhishi focused on eating his fish and didn¡¯t really respond to Lin Rong. But Song Yu ¡ª he looked at Lin Rong, frowning. ¡°Who¡¯s Shen Mi?¡±


    ¡°See, I knew you didn¡¯t watch that video.¡± Lin Rong acted as if she caught him in a lie, shaking her head, and explained, ¡°Shen Mi is that tall boy who later showed up, Le Le¡¯s classmate after they split classes. That child¡¯s particularly amusing. Le Le once forgot his phone on the bus when it was raining, and he ran here to give it back to him. He¡¯s a good child.¡±


    Song Yu was baffled and twisted his head over to ask Yue Zhishi, ¡°You can even lose your phone?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was a bit confused when he lifted up his head. ¡°I¡­ I didn¡¯t know either. I was wearing such thick clothes in the winter, it must¡¯ve fallen out from my pocket.¡±


    Song Jin seemed to finally remember. ¡°Ah, that boy. Is he the one who later came to help out at Yanghe Qizhe?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± Lin Rong took a sip of her mango pomelo sago. ¡°Shen Mi was passing by and helped me moved quite a few things. That child really knows how to talk, and his personality¡¯s especially nice ¡ª I kept him here for dinner, and he even gave me flowers.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t really pay much attention to their conversation, only silently finishing his own bowl of sago. He looked over and realised Song Yu had barely touched his own bowl. ¡°Gege, how come you¡¯re not eating?¡±


    Song Yu stayed silent for two seconds, and only then did he lower his head to finish his dessert.


    After finishing dinner, Yue Zhishi and Lin Rong went downstairs together to walk the dog and help their stomachs digest. When they came back, they saw Song Jin sitting in the living room by himself, watching a basketball game.


    ¡°Where¡¯s your son?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s been upstairs the entire time, hasn¡¯t come down at all.¡± Song Jin¡¯s eyes didn¡¯t move from the television.


    ¡°He¡¯s probably asleep again.¡± Lin Rong had been bitten a few times by mosquitoes, so she took out some ointment for herself. She pulled Yue Zhishi over, checking if he had any bites, and said, ¡°You¡¯re okay, they didn¡¯t bite you. Darling, go see if Orange ate dinner yet. He doesn¡¯t seem to be eating lately, he better not be sick.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded and wandered around the first floor a few times without seeing any signs of Orange. He¡¯d only just gone upstairs when he saw Orange in front of the Song Yu¡¯s room, lifting his paws and scratching the door twice ¡ª he looked as if he wanted to stand up and lean his entire body onto the door.


    ¡°Found you.¡±


    The door wasn¡¯t fully shut, so a small crack in the doorway appeared as soon as Orange fell onto the door. He took advantage of the space and slithered in, Yue Zhishi a step too late to catch him. Yue Zhishi could only go in and get him.


    Once he got to the doorway, he saw Orange jumping onto the bed. Yue Zhishi softly called out once to Song Yu as he stood outside the door; there was no response, so he went in, realising Song Yu was sleeping in bed.


    The lights weren¡¯t turned on in the room, and it was very dark. Yue Zhishi toed off his slippers, heading in with his feet bare, and planned to leave as soon as he caught Orange. But that cat was just too sly ¡ª he snuggled straight into Song Yu¡¯s arms. Song Yu was wearing earphones, and he truly seemed very tired as he continued sleeping very deeply.


    ¡°Come on, let¡¯s eat dinner.¡± Yue Zhishi held out a little cat toy, whispering to him. He wanted to take him away, but Orange only grumbled and turned his back to him.


    Yue Zhishi sighed. He stood at the side of the bed and watched Song Yu¡¯s sleeping face for a few seconds. Moonlight slid in through the gap in the curtains, falling onto Song Yu¡¯s face ¡ª it softened his sharp eyebrows.


    He felt he couldn¡¯t stand there in a daze for much longer, so he bent over, wanting to carry Orange out of Song Yu¡¯s arms. But Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t personally carried the orange cat for a very long time ¡ª he incorrectly estimated the cat¡¯s weight and didn¡¯t manage to successfully pull him out. Not only that, his feet accidentally slipped on the floor, and his entire body planted onto Song Yu¡¯s bed.


    Seeing Song Yu frown and start to crack open his eyes, Yue Zhishi gave Song Yu an awkward smile without panicking. ¡°I¡­ I actually only wanted to take Orange away and accidentally¡­¡±


    ¡°Accidentally gifted yourself onto my bed.¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice was very deep, and his arm covered his eyes.


    The way he said it was very strange, but it did match what happened.


    Yue Zhishi originally wanted to get up; he should be getting up, but seeing Song Yu wasn¡¯t angry, he wanted to stay in his bed for a bit. So he shifted forward, saying, ¡°If you sleep now, will you be able to sleep tonight?¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s eyes were covered, and Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t see them all ¡ª he could only stare at his lips. The corners of his mouth were very straight, his lips faintly separated. Song Yu only opened his mouth after a few seconds passed, and he said, voice carrying some lingering weariness, ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter.¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s bad to reverse your biological clock.¡± Yue Zhishi reached out and grabbed the arm Song Yu rested on top of his eyes. He pulled it away and then squeezed Song Yu¡¯s palm again and again. His voice was still very soft, not daring to be noisy. ¡°You¡¯ve already slept for two hours. You won¡¯t be able to sleep again if you continue sleeping.¡±


    His voice lilted upwards at the end, as if he was cutely whining. Song Yu didn¡¯t open his eyes, only saying, ¡°So your mission changed from taking Orange away to taking me away.¡±


    Yue Zhishi laughed. ¡°It¡¯s pretty much the same thing.¡±


    He was still humouring a cat.


    Song Yu tilted his face over, looking at Yue Zhishi. His voice was lazy, his words coming very slowly. ¡°Then since you¡¯ve woken me up, what would you like to do?¡±


    His words held an ambiguous, teasing undertone, yet Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t catch it at all. He directly crawled in front of Song Yu, and the distance between them shortened in one breath.


    This time, Song Yu wanted to dodge away.


    ¡°Can you go somewhere with me?¡± Yue Zhishi blinked, his hand still tightly holding onto Song Yu¡¯s palm.


    He must¡¯ve still been half-asleep to agree to Yue Zhishi¡¯s request. Song Yu was really very tired, and he really hated being woken up by other people ¡ª but if it was Yue Zhishi, his temper completely disappeared.


    And the extent of his patience towards Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t limited to just this.


    ¨C


    It was 9:30pm, and the two of them stood on the sidewalk directly across from Peiya¡¯s school entrance, cars driving back and forth in front of them. Song Yu tugged at the uniform jacket on his body ¡ª it used to be too large, and now it fit perfectly. He asked Yue Zhishi in utter incomprehension: ¡°Why don¡¯t we come tomorrow? You can openly go in tomorrow and get your books.¡±


    ¡°But you won¡¯t be able to go in. I already said earlier ¡ª I want to come here together with you.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes aimed directly at the entrance and saw many junior high students already coming out from their night self-study sessions. More and more people started to come out, spreading from the school to the nearby streets. Yue Zhishi took this chance and pulled Song Yu, running in the direction of the school.


    ¡°We¡¯ll just pretend we¡¯re junior high students who forgot something. Don¡¯t talk, and don¡¯t look at the security guards.¡±


    Song Yu let him pull him along, as if he was a little fish-shaped balloon with no free will.


    Even though the two of them were truly eye-catching in a crowd of people, their uniforms meant the security guards didn¡¯t try to stop them. After they successfully sneaked their way into the school, Yue Zhishi was incredibly excited and turned around to say to Song Yu, ¡°Hasn¡¯t it been a long time since you came back? Does it feel like you¡¯ve returned back to high school?¡±


    Song Yu was as steady as he always was, only taking off his jacket and revealing the white t-shirt underneath. ¡°This is what you want for the exams?¡±


    ¡°This is one of my requests.¡± Greed filled Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice. He ran down the stairs, his hair lifting from the summer night breeze and his jacket rising from the wind ¡ª he was like a carefree, unrestrained bird.


    As he gazed at his receding figure, Song Yu¡¯s heart also lightened, by just a tad.


    It had been too long since he last came to Peiya. Song Yu¡¯d thought he would find it very foreign to him, but the school still looked exactly the same. Not much had changed, except for an old school building that had been meant to be torn down; it was now a new laboratory building. All the cats that used to be here ¡ª they were now all dispersed into the myriad lights and warmth of many families.


    He¡¯d clearly already left for three years, and yet, in that moment, Song Yu felt as if he was just here yesterday, living through busy yet simple high school days and pretending to be strangers with Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°There¡¯s no one here, let¡¯s go in.¡±


    They went in against the stream of people leaving from school and arrived at the sports ground. Peiya¡¯s sports ground was surrounded by wire mesh; the entrance was already locked, but everyone knew there was a broken side door near the Yifu teaching building. The lock had been broken long ago, and the door could only be simply closed.


    ¡°Do you know about this door?¡±


    ¡°I know.¡± Song Yu had sometimes followed Qin Yan here during lunch to play basketball. They were only able to get in through the side door.


    He followed Yue Zhishi in ¡ª they were like two fishes escaping from the net, leaving one large mesh to slither into another smaller one. Song Yu thought ahead, out of habit. ¡°Aren¡¯t you worried someone will come by later and catch you?¡±


    ¡°There shouldn¡¯t be, right?¡± Yue Zhishi always liked to leave things to chance, always thinking on the bright side. ¡°All the third year teachers and students aren¡¯t here today, so there¡¯s definitely less people on patrol compared to usual. If we really do get caught, then we¡¯ll just run. As if our long legs won¡¯t be able to outrun shorter ones.¡±


    He was always able to speak with such plausibility.


    Cicadas chirped through the dreary summer night. A breeze occasionally weaved through the poplar tree forest, fluttering to the sports ground and carrying the thick, sticky air of June. Yue Zhishi walked closely to Song Yu as they arrived at the three-point line on the basketball court. He lowered his head, fixing his gaze on their shadows on the floor ¡ª the shadows were long, and they interlaced each other, the rich darkness of them touching and mingling together on the ground before separating very quickly.


    They were more intimate than the two of them in real life.


    An unfamiliar feeling surged in his heart ¡ª he couldn¡¯t explain what it was.


    ¡°In the past, I really did want to graduate as quickly as I could. I wanted to leave this place as fast as possible.¡± Yue Zhishi looked at the small grove near the sports ground. ¡°I sat on the stone stool over there every day before exams, memorising my texts. My arm was all swollen from mosquito bites, and after going back home, I needed to take some allergy meds and then continue studying.¡±


    He released a long sigh. ¡°But who would¡¯ve thought my high school life would end so quickly? I will never have it again ¡ª today is the last day.¡±


    Seeing him like this, Song Yu slightly wanted to laugh. He paused where he was, standing in the exact centre of the basketball court, and turned his body around to look at him. ¡°So you chose to come here specifically to kill time?¡±


    ¡°This isn¡¯t killing time¡­¡± Yue Zhishi originally wanted to protest, but since he had nothing to argue with, he could only admit to it. ¡°Yes. That¡¯s right. The me before today didn¡¯t have time.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s face tilted towards the moonlight, the wistfulness from just then mostly disappearing, and he smiled beautifully. ¡°But the me right now does ¡ª so the first thing I want to do after exams is to throw away my time.¡±


    Together with you, I want to squander and throw away my last day in high school.


    Song Yu seemed to smile, not replying. For the two of them, they didn¡¯t seem to need to always, constantly respond to each other.


    Yue Zhishi suddenly noticed something and made a noise. Song Yu thought a small animal had passed by, when actually it was basketball caught in between the basketball hoop and the backboard.


    ¡°Someone definitely left this here to mark their spot.¡± Yue Zhishi ran over.


    There were many boys in Peiya. With both the junior and high school departments added together, the basketball courts became a highly sought after commodity, and everyone frequently left a basketball in the courts ¡ª if a court had a ball left there, then that meant someone had preemptively already taken the spot. This had already become a long-established practice.


    Yue Zhishi stood underneath the hoop, stretching out his arms and jumping up. His fingers pushed the ball down, and after catching it, he hit the ball once, the sound of it landing on the ground diffusing across the empty basketball court.


    ¡°Can you teach me how to dunk?¡± Yue Zhishi threw the ball over after he asked.


    Song Yu caught it very nimbly and asked why he wanted to learn.


    ¡°I always kept getting blocked, so I want to try dunking.¡± Yue Zhishi looked at the hoop very defiantly. ¡°Maybe I can¡¯t jump high enough.¡±


    ¡°The move is more for show, it¡¯s fine if you don¡¯t know how to do it. You just need to know how to do layups ¡ª getting points is most important.¡±


    But Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t convinced by Song Yu¡¯s pragmatism. He only wanted to dunk, so he implored Song Yu to give it a try. ¡°You definitely know how to do it, I heard Jiang Yufan say Wuhan U¡¯s geomatics basketball team is really strong. Aren¡¯t you also in the team? Gege, dunk one for me to see.¡±


    Song Yu stood there, dribbling the ball a few times. At the end, he couldn¡¯t help but agree to do it.


    He flexed his ankles and neck, and then he went forward with the ball ¡ª he jumped up with one foot, and his left arm directly grabbed onto the basket, right arm winging up to slam the ball in. The entire basketball stand wobbled.


    Yue Zhishi watched in a daze. Not only did Song Yu dunk in the ball so easily, he even grabbed onto the rim.


    ¡°Song Yu gege, you¡¯re too amazing.¡±


    Hearing Yue Zhishi¡¯s heartfelt praise, Song Yu had no choice but to admit he did enjoy Yue Zhishi watching him. Song Yu had become the basketball team¡¯s point guard when he¡¯d just entered high school; as soon as he entered the court, Song Yu usually focused only on gaining points, his ears completely blocking out the sound of everyone else ¡ª unless he knew Yue Zhishi was watching.


    The two of them at that time had no interactions at school. Yue Zhishi would sometimes look on from within the crowd, but he wouldn¡¯t be like other people yelling out Song Yu¡¯s name.


    He also wouldn¡¯t know that every time Song Yu shot in a ball, the first person he would look at after turning around ¡ª it would always be him.


    Even though a model answer was right in front of him, dunking a ball wasn¡¯t something that could be easily copied. Yue Zhishi tried many times, but he still couldn¡¯t do it. He was a bit depressed, and he knelt down, tying his shoelaces once again, and prepared to try again.


    Song Yu watched him try again and again and worried he would injury his Achilles tendon. ¡°Dunking isn¡¯t something you can learn in a day or two. You can practice your jumping and explosiveness during summer break, it¡¯ll be easier after.¡±


    ¡°Then will you stay with me as I do it?¡± Yue Zhishi stood back up and very straightforwardly said, ¡°I want to play basketball together with you. I¡¯ve never played with you before.¡±


    When he entered junior high, Song Yu was already an unprecedented star in the basketball team ¡ª but no one knew he was Song Yu¡¯s little brother, so he couldn¡¯t cling next to him. After everyone learned of their relationship, Song Yu had already entered his third year of high school and departed the basketball team.


    He stayed at Peiya for six years, and yet he was only able to stand on the same court and play basketball with Song Yu on his last day.


    Song Yu turned his face away as he saw the regret on Yue Zhishi¡¯s face. He gazed at the moon. ¡°We can talk about it later.¡±


    And then, he softly added, ¡°If I have time, it¡¯s not like I can¡¯t.¡±


    Every time Song Yu spoke in double negatives, it was to cover up and obscure his awkward and troublesome true heart.


    Yue Zhishi was already very satisfied at receiving such an inconclusive promise from his gege. Since he was already handling the ball, he took the chance to try shooting three-pointers, and his accuracy wasn¡¯t too bad.


    ¡°Ah.¡±


    Song Yu glanced at him after hearing Yue Zhishi sigh. He asked, looking as if he wasn¡¯t really paying attention: ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    Yue Zhishi dribbled the ball to the bottom of the basket and lifted a hand to shoot the ball in; he immediately picked it up again, holding the ball against his hip with his arm. ¡°The last day before graduating, Yue Zhishi¡¯s Peiya basketball dunking record remains at zero.¡±


    Lifting his head to gaze at the hoop, Yue Zhishi shrugged in self-defeat. ¡°Forget about it, let¡¯s save this for¡­¡±


    He was abruptly lifted into the air before he could finish speaking. His feet suddenly left the ground, and Yue Zhishi was startled enough that his voice shifted higher in fear. He almost didn¡¯t manage to hold on to the ball. ¡°Ge, what are you doing!¡±


    Song Yu murmured, don¡¯t move, and walked forward step by step, hugging his legs, until he finally stood still in front of the basketball hoop.


    ¡°Shoot.¡± His voice remained soft, as if the person doing something so unusual wasn¡¯t him.


    ¡°Ah?¡± Yue Zhishi looked at the hoop right in front of him. He was a bit confused, and when he looked down, he saw Song Yu curve his head at him as he continued holding onto him, as if he was questioning why he wasn¡¯t moving.


    So he took action ¡ª as he hung in midair, he dunked the ball in his hand into the basket in a position he¡¯d never once thought of being in.


    ¡°Two points.¡± Song Yu spoke like an impartial referee, but his actions were so biased and off-centre he was almost at the Antarctic Circle. He relaxed his hands and let go of the confused and dazed Yue Zhishi.


    But this was cheating.


    Dong¡ª¡ª


    Dong¡ª¡ª


    The basketball fell down, Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart still floating in the night sky.


    Song Yu stood in front of him and raised an eyebrow. ¡°Student Yue Zhishi in Peiya¡¯s high school year 3, class 10.¡±


    Yue Zhishi lifted his head at being called. He saw a smile touch the corners of Song Yu¡¯s mouth.


    ¡°Dunking record, plus one.¡±

 CH 48

    Chapter 48: Unexpected Visit


    Yue Zhishi gazed at Song Yu¡¯s face in a trance, but he wasn¡¯t given much time to think ¡ª a torchlight suddenly swayed in front of his eyes. The light was too bright, and Yue Zhishi turned his face away in reflex, squinting.


    ¡°Someone¡¯s coming.¡± Song Yu swiftly reacted, grabbing Yue Zhishi¡¯s wrist and running towards the side door.


    As expected, a few people appeared right outside the wire mesh around the sports ground. The person in front ran towards the main entrance with his torchlight waving around like a searchlight. ¡°Which class are you guys from? Why haven¡¯t you gone home! Why are you guys cuddling and hugging on the basketball court?!¡±


    ¡°Shit, I think it¡¯s Compass.¡± Yue Zhishi was familiar with his voice and desperately ran ahead. ¡°How are we so unlucky.¡±


    Song Yu pushed open the side door and left, pulling along Yue Zhishi. The two of them didn¡¯t immediately know where to go after coming out of the basketball court. Yue Zhishi remembered that there was a side gate in the wall behind the new laboratory building, and it was connected to the neighbourhood where family members of the teaching staff lived ¡ª so he flipped his hand over and clutched Song Yu¡¯s hand instead, tugging him towards that direction.


    Compass chased very closely behind them, loudly yelling at them to stand still as he continued to ran. Yue Zhishi felt he himself was quickly running out of breath just by running; he didn¡¯t understand how Compass could have so many energy.


    ¡°This way.¡± The two of them circled around the right side of the new laboratory building. A row of cars was parked there, and two three metre-high square column sculptures were placed on the left and right side of the cars.


    ¡°Let¡¯s hide here for a bit first.¡± Yue Zhishi dragged Song Yu behind a sculpture and leaned against it. The width of the sculpture wasn¡¯t quite enough. Yue Zhishi was worried they¡¯d be noticed, so he stood there, face close to Song Yu¡¯s chest, trying to hear the noises around them.


    The school director brought people with him, and they ran into the new laboratory building, thinking Yue Zhishi and Song Yu had gone inside. They went into the first floor, and just so happened to go into the classroom that was directly across from the square column.


    ¡°Where are you guys going, not going home so late at night! I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re dating at school!¡±


    The director¡¯s voice was particularly clear in the empty classroom, as if it was amplified.


    The light from the torch abruptly shone out of the window. Yue Zhishi had originally peeked out half of his head as he continued hiding behind the sculpture, wanting to look; he immediately retreated back once he saw the light.


    The moment he retreated and pulled back his head, he accidentally met Song Yu¡¯s pair of dark eyes.


    He belatedly realised the distance between them was overly close ¡ª his and Song Yu¡¯s chests were pretty much pressed together, their colliding heartbeats intimately echoing each other. He was still panting from their earlier running, and Yue Zhishi¡¯s Adam¡¯s apple quivered, his eyes blinking twice in a fluster.


    ¡°I definitely have to catch those two. These children who all start early dating, they¡¯re all more courageous than the next¡­¡±


    Early dating.


    It felt strange and misplaced to use this term on the two of them.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know where his guilty conscience came from. He only felt really hot ¡ª he was too hot from running, and he also felt really hot from pressing so closely together. He attempted to take half a step back, but Song Yu caught his arm. Song Yu slightly shook his head, looking much calmer than Yue Zhishi felt.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t dare move anymore. The light from the torch violently barged around in the dark night, just like his heart at this moment. He felt he was overly nervous, so he silently begged in his heart for the director to quickly leave.


    The begging seemed to be somewhat useful.


    The director left the classroom he was initially in and went searching in a different place; his torchlight also disappeared. Yue Zhishi only then relaxed, and his tense muscles loosened in relief, subconsciously leaning against Song Yu¡¯s body.


    ¡°That scared me to death.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s head was lowered, the sound of his voice very soft ¡ª his forehead was propped on Song Yu¡¯s shoulder as he continued to lightly pant.


    This pose looked like a half-finished embrace.


    A few minutes later, the director seemed to give up. Many classrooms and labs in the laboratory building were locked, so even if students wanted to hide in them, they wouldn¡¯t be able to get inside. The director and the other people came out and walked around to the back.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart had only relaxed for a short amount of time before starting up again. Luckily, Song Yu reacted very quickly and pulled him around to the side of the column to hide.


    The director was tired from running around. He roughly scanned around with his torchlight, and when he didn¡¯t see anyone in the vicinity, he cursed and decided to give up.


    Yue Zhishi only opened his mouth after a long time passed. He whispered, ¡°Did they leave?¡±


    He only relaxed after seeing Song Yu nod ¡ª his shoulders slumped in relief.


    ¡°As expected, people shouldn¡¯t say things to jinx themselves.¡± Yue Zhishi led Song Yu towards that side gate as he continued complaining. ¡°Good thing I¡¯m pretty familiar with this area. I noticed this gate here before.¡±


    Their footsteps landed in the thickly grown grass, the rustling noises mixing with the chirping of the cicadas ¡ª this was the sound of summer.


    ¡°Why¡¯d you notice this for?¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t look back as he carelessly said, ¡°Because I was always looking for a place to memorise my texts by myself. There are very little people around here. Many retired teachers live here in the area, and I once saw them bring their grandsons and granddaughters to play at school by coming through this side gate.¡± He started to sound pretty pleased with himself as he continued speaking. ¡°I even told Jiang Yufan about this, and then he later always used this gate to sneak out of school.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve never snuck out before?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t sure if Song Yu was questioning whether he¡¯d actually snuck out before, or if he was questioning his familiarity with this side gate. He thought Song Yu was probably asking him more about the latter, so he stressed, ¡°In any case, I pretty much memorised my texts every day, at least six days a week. I always see people going through this gate every time I came, so it¡¯s definitely a reliable way to get out.¡±


    But this later also became a jinx.


    Song Yu stood there, arms crossed against his chest, and remained calm and composed as Yue Zhishi stood in front of that little iron gate, wildly shaking the door lock almost the size of his fist. He repeated the key words from Yue Zhishi¡¯s speech earlier. ¡°I¡¯m pretty familiar with this area, I¡¯m here six days a week, definitely reliable.¡±


    Yue Zhishi awkwardly raised his face. ¡°Maybe today¡¯s the one day they lock the gate¡­¡±


    They ended up climbing over the wall to escape.


    The back wall next to the teachers¡¯ apartments was a bit high, but at least it didn¡¯t have any sharp objects on top to prevent people from climbing over. Compared to Peiya¡¯s other school walls, this wall was already very friendly. Song Yu backed up and approached the wall at a slight run, borrowing the metal trashcan attached in the corner ¡ª he jumped off the trashcan with one foot and flipped over, his movements as smooth as running water. Seeing how proficient Song Yu was, Yue Zhishi suspected this wasn¡¯t the first time Song Yu had done something like this.


    ¡°Have you climbed over walls before?¡±


    Song Yu had already gone down the other side and didn¡¯t respond to his question. Yue Zhishi adopted a safer way to going up ¡ª he stepped on top of the trashcan and finally climbed to the top using his long legs. He ended up sitting on the wall in weariness.


    His view of the world changed: the wall seemed to be even higher than he expected after sitting on it. He suddenly was a bit afraid of jumping directly down.


    ¡°Will my legs break from this height?¡± he asked, very earnestly.


    Song Yu gazed at him, his face upturned towards him. A helpless look covered his face, and he seriously said they won¡¯t.


    ¡°Then will I sprain my foot? Will you still play basketball with me if I sprain my foot?¡±


    ¡°You ask too many questions.¡± Song Yu walked until he was under Yue Zhishi, face clear of expression. He caught ahold of Yue Zhishi¡¯s dangling ankle, and then he lifted his head, opening his arms towards Yue Zhishi. ¡°Jump down, you won¡¯t fall.¡±


    Even though he didn¡¯t look enthusiastic at all and didn¡¯t look like he was going to properly catch him, complete trust and a bit of happiness filled Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart. Yue Zhishi thought of the summer holiday during his first year of elementary school ¡ª he¡¯d gone to learn swimming together with Song Yu, and he¡¯d clutched the metal handrail by the pool, utterly refusing to go into the water. It was useless no matter which instructor came by to coax him.


    At the end, it was still Song Yu. He swam over, his little face cold, and caught Yue Zhishi¡¯s small, trembling, plump legs, telling him to jump down.


    Yue Zhishi at that time had very seriously asked him, ¡°Will I drown?¡±


    Song Yu had said he won¡¯t ¡ª had said, ¡°I¡¯ll catch you.¡±


    So he jumped down very obediently, just like this time. No matter if it was the young Yue Zhishi or the Yue Zhishi who¡¯d now grown up ¡ª he accurately, precisely landed into Song Yu¡¯s arms without a single injury.


    ¡°We¡¯re finally out.¡±


    He¡¯d only just jumped down when an auntie came out of a nearby apartment building to throw away her trash. She stretched out her neck and looked at them as they stood there, arms wrapped around each other. Their eyes just happened to meet, and Yue Zhishi rapidly left Song Yu¡¯s arms.


    Two fake junior high school students wearing junior high uniforms who climbed over the school wall to the teachers¡¯ living community ¡ª it was very hard for them to not be noticed.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go, let¡¯s go home.¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡± Yue Zhishi also took off his coat, tying it around his waist. He followed Song Yu.


    After leaving the neighbourhood¡¯s main area, a small, bustling street filled with food was right in front of the entrance. They¡¯d wasted two hours in school, and it was already almost midnight. Yue Zhishi was a bit hungry after playing basketball and running around. He tugged at Song Yu¡¯s arm and walked towards the food stalls.


    Song Yu understood what he wanted more than anyone else and didn¡¯t stop him.


    Yue Zhishi stood in front of a stall selling soda buns. He watched as the owner lifted the lid of his wok and flipped over each panfried bun with a pair of tongs.


    ¡°Come have some soda buns. I have glutinous rice, turnip and vermicelli ¡ª which one would you like?¡±


    Song Yu watched as Yue Zhishi continued to stand there. ¡°It¡¯s not like you can eat it, why stare at them?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was like an emotionless machine, repeating, ¡°That¡¯s right, it¡¯s not like I can eat it.¡±


    Song Yu felt he looked a bit pitiful, so he said he wanted some mung bean soup. Yue Zhishi was very quickly distracted. ¡°I saw some over there just then.¡± He wasn¡¯t able to eat the soda buns, but he bought two cups of iced mung bean soup ¡ª Yue Zhishi took a sip of the sweet paste, and his entire body relaxed. Small booths nearby sold all different kinds of late night snacks: crispy three delicacy potstickers, cold noodles tossed with sesame sauce and shredded seaweed, and even thin and crunchy flour pancakes filled with salted preserved vegetables, fresh from a clay furnace. They all looked especially delicious.


    But Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t eat any of them.


    The auntie selling the cold noodles greeted Song Yu very cheerfully. ¡°Would you like some cold noodles, handsome boy?¡±


    Song Yu stood there and asked if the noodles could be changed to rice noodles. The cold noodles food stall happened to also sell stir-fried rice noodles, so the auntie quickly exchanged the noodles over. As she mixed the noodles with the sauce and seaweed, she couldn¡¯t help but ask, ¡°The point of cold noodles is to eat the egg noodles, why do you want rice noodles instead?¡±


    Watching Yue Zhishi swallow his saliva next to him, Song Yu lightly said, ¡°I don¡¯t like egg noodles.¡±


    The two of them sat in front of a tiny folding table and shared the unusual bowl of mixed noodles and a portion of fragrant and spicy roast tofu. The plastic stools were too short, so they could only stretch out their legs in front of them.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t really care about his previous tests, and he had never wanted to give Yue Zhishi too much pressure ¡ª but as they ate their late night snacks, he casually asked, ¡°Have you looked up any universities and majors?¡±


    He then added, ¡°Actually, there¡¯s no rush.¡±


    He looked a bit guilty at his inconsistent words, but Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t notice as he rushed to stuff a piece of tofu into his mouth. He ended up wanting to spit it out from the heat.


    ¡°Why do you always eat without sparing a single thought about what you¡¯re putting in your mouth,¡± Song Yu ruthlessly said in ridicule.


    ¡°So hot.¡± Yue Zhishi swallowed with effort and answered Song Yu¡¯s first question. ¡°Wuhan U, I¡¯m aiming for Wuhan U.¡± He pretty much blurted it out, his words sounding very hasty, but after taking a sip of the mung bean soup, Yue Zhishi then said, ¡°As for majors, I have a few options. I¡¯m going to really look into them for the next while.¡±


    He placed his cup back onto the table, movements full of self-confidence. ¡°I¡¯ll definitely choose a good major.¡±


    Song Yu observed the expression on his face and lowered his eyes, his gaze softening. ¡°Then you must have already chosen a major.¡±


    ¡°How¡¯d you know?¡± Yue Zhishi felt he was completely transparent in front of Song Yu.


    Song Yu watched him, a faint smile on his face. ¡°With your indecisiveness, you wouldn¡¯t have made plans already if you still haven¡¯t decided. You would¡¯ve been really anxious instead.¡±


    ¡°Okay, you guessed right.¡± Yue Zhishi finished off the remaining noodles. ¡°You might laugh at me once I say it.¡±


    Song Yu looked serious. ¡°The possibility of me laughing should be smaller than everyone else.¡±


    Yue Zhishi laughed by himself once he heard Song Yu¡¯s words. ¡°That¡¯s true.¡± He softly drummed his chopsticks against the table, and then he leaned in a bit, quietly saying to Song Yu, ¡°I want to study law.¡±


    His answer truly was out of Song Yu¡¯s expectations, but after thinking about it, he was able to guess why.


    ¡°Maybe this might sound very immature, but I really feel like being a lawyer is about defending justice.¡± Yue Zhishi rushed to explain, as if he was very afraid Song Yu would think he was only saying this in the heat of the moment. ¡°Even though this ¡®justice¡¯ might not be justice in reality ¡ª and may be more procedural justice ¡ª but no matter what, I think being able to help others find justice is something very extraordinary.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes glowed as he spoke, a kind of innocence shining through them ¡ª they made it very easy for others to think everything he said was simple and naive. But Song Yu knew ¡ª even though Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t really understand this profession, he was inherently born with this desire for justice. All of the heroic characters he used to like were like his spiritual totems, and they had long been etched into his character.


    Song Yu involuntarily thought about the one time he¡¯d asked Yue Yi why he wanted to be a reporter. At that time, he didn¡¯t understand the answer he was given; he only remembered Yue Yi saying: journalism was a profession that could expose injustice, he could speak for those who had no voice, he could pull into the light all the things that couldn¡¯t be seen in the darkness.


    Yue Yi at that time ¡ª he seemed to be like this too, eyes bright and glowing.


    They truly were father and son.


    ¡°Do you still think I¡¯m being really childish?¡± Without waiting for Song Yu to reply, Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but open his mouth in question.


    Song Yu returned back to attention, and he looked at Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes. ¡°I think you¡¯re amazing. What you said is right.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was immediately happy and grabbed Song Yu¡¯s wrist. ¡°Then that means you support me, right?¡±


    Song Yu shifted his eyes away. ¡°Study well, these are all things to consider later.¡±


    Even though Song Yu didn¡¯t exactly encourage him, Yue Zhishi was already satisfied by getting Song Yu to support his very immature thoughts. ¡°If I successfully get in, I¡¯ll definitely study hard.¡±


    Since they¡¯ve pretty much finished all their food, Song Yu paid and took him away.


    The temperature dropped a fair amount, and it was no longer so stickily hot. They walked on the empty road, shoulder against shoulder, and enjoyed the tranquility of the summer night. As he thought about how they¡¯d just escaped from school, Song Yu found it very amusing.


    ¡°I was there for six years of school, and I¡¯ve never been so flustered.¡±


    Yue Zhishi laughed out loud. ¡°That¡¯s right, if you were caught dating a girl while you were in high school, the entire school would¡¯ve gossiped about you. The school would¡¯ve circulated a criticism notice.¡±


    How could anything of that sort happen. Song Yu lowered his eyes.


    As they walked, Yue Zhishi abruptly remembered something and frantically pulled up Song Yu¡¯s wrist, glancing at his watch.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s almost no more time.¡± Yue Zhishi rapidly searched his body. A car darted past behind him, blowing high the hair on his forehead.


    Song Yu was curious about what he was looking for, but before he could ask, Yue Zhishi said, as if talking to himself, ¡°High school year 3, class 10¡¯s Yue Zhishi: record of being chased by the director, plus one. Record of successfully escaping, plus one. Record of climbing over walls, plus one. A qualitative leap from nothing at all.¡± He raised his face and smiled like a child. ¡°There¡¯s one last thing before I can perfectly end my high school years.¡±


    When he finished speaking, he stretched out a hand to Song Yu.


    A metal name badge rested quietly in his palm, and it glittered under the street lamps.


    ¡°Song Yu gege, this is my name badge.¡± Yue Zhishi picked up his hand and pushed the name badge into it ¡ª just like how Song Yu had stealthily stuffed it into his own hand that day school started. ¡°I¡¯m giving it to you.¡±


    Song Yu looked at the name badge in his hand, an indescribable feeling suffusing his heart.


    ¡°You don¡¯t want to leave it for someone else?¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head, and he said, clearly and directly, ¡°I¡¯ve never had any other option.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s mood became even more complicated at these words. Yue Zhishi was unbearably, unspeakably handsome under the dim yellow glow of the street lamps; even his eyelashes were a transparent golden colour. The memories and desire he thought he¡¯d buried very well ¡ª after seeing him smile, they all surged outwards like the rain flushing over the entire city¡¯s fireworks.


    His watch¡¯s second hand jumped at the same rate as his heart, passing by the number twelve. Everything returned to zero.


    The tender youth that would never return once gone ¡ª it was all condensed into a piece of metal engraved with a name, and was delivered to another person¡¯s hand.


    ¨C


    After having eaten so much late at night, Yue Zhishi knew early on that he wouldn¡¯t be able to sleep. He guessed Song Yu would be the same, so he sneaked into his room without asking permission, coaxing and pestering Song Yu until he agreed to play games with him for a while. Yue Zhishi was honestly not all that good with this game, and he didn¡¯t even really like it all that much ¡ª when he used to play with other people, he would have little interest in searching through rooms, thinking it was boring. But with Song Yu, Yue Zhishi became particularly enthusiastic: he was extremely excited whenever he found anything useful and would ask if Song Yu wanted it, and even if he didn¡¯t want it, Yue Zhishi would still forcefully give it to him.


    Even when he foolishly danced in the game for Song Yu to watch, Yue Zhishi still found it very interesting.


    They played until very late, and Yue Zhishi only returned back to his room to sleep at 3am. Lin Rong rushed to Yanghe Qizhe in the morning and didn¡¯t wake them up to eat breakfast. Song Yu woke up rather early, and after cleaning up, he went downstairs to warm up a glass of milk for Yue Zhishi. He didn¡¯t expect to hear the door bell just as he reached downstairs, the sound ringing for a very long time.


    When he reached the entrance, Song Yu glanced at the security monitor screen. There was no one on the screen ¡ª maybe they¡¯d already left.


    Two seconds later, he still opened the door, walked outside and saw someone crouching just outside the door.


    The person seemed to think he was someone else, as he initially stood up very happily. But his expression changed once he saw Song Yu¡¯s face ¡ª he was very tall, his hair very short, and he wore an entire outfit of sportswear, a basketball in his hands.


    Song Yu recognised him very quickly. The person in front of him was Shen Mi, who¡¯d appeared in that interview video.


    ¡°Good morning.¡± Shen Mi opened his mouth first, his voice friendly. ¡°This should be Yue Zhishi¡¯s house, right? I¡¯m looking for him to play ball.¡±


    He looked at Song Yu and probed, ¡°You are?¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Fight! Fight!

 CH 49

    Chapter 49:  Open and Covert Fighting


    The expression on Song Yu¡¯s face didn¡¯t really change, and he also didn¡¯t reply to Shen Mi¡¯s question.


    ¡°It¡¯s basic manners to introduce who you are when you¡¯re at someone else¡¯s door,¡± he mildly said.


    The other person smiled when he heard this. He raked a hand through his hair and said, voice unconcerned, ¡°That¡¯s right, I forgot to introduce myself. I¡¯m Yue Zhishi¡¯s classmate, in the same class. I¡¯m Shen Mi.¡± He then glanced at the house number again. ¡°I haven¡¯t gone to the wrong place. I was here last time, and it was auntie who opened the door for me. You are?¡±


    Song Yu appeared calm and composed, and the eyes looking at Shen Mi ¡ª they contained a naturally born aura that made it hard for others to get close to him.


    ¡°I¡¯m his older brother.¡±


    Shen Mi¡¯s face looked slightly surprised. ¡°He has a brother? Ah, that¡¯s right ¡ª I think I¡¯ve heard other people mention this before, but Yue Zhishi has never said anything to me.¡±


    Song Yu raised an eyebrow. ¡°He has also never said he has a classmate called Shen Mi.¡±


    ¡°No way? I¡¯m already so close with auntie.¡± Shen Mi pulled out his phone, grinning, and opened his photo gallery. He scrolled until he found a video he¡¯d recorded, clicked play and held it up to Song Yu.


    He¡¯d used an app to record Yue Zhishi while they were in class. In the video, Yue Zhishi was eating some snacks, and he kept using his hand to block the camera as he laughed, calling out Shen Mi¡¯s name and telling him to stop recording.


    ¡°See, I sit behind Le Le.¡±


    Song Yu watched the entire video, his face calm.


    Shen Mi put away his phone. ¡°But that¡¯s fine, we can be considered as acquainted now. Bro, can you help me call him down? Since we have to go back to school to clean out our desks today, I wanted to go together with Le Le and play basketball afterwards.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s still sleeping.¡± Song Yu lowered his head to glance at his watch, and then he lifted his eyes again. He leaned against the doorframe and methodically said, ¡°Let me remind you. Modern day science has resulted in something called a cellphone. You completely could have called Yue Zhishi a day ago and told him you wanted to go to school together with him at 9am on June 9th. This method is more likely to succeed than directly knocking on his house door. After all¡­¡±


    Song Yu chuckled. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t know what he was doing last night or if he would be up late, would you?¡±


    The grin on Shen Mi¡¯s face faded a fair amount after he heard Song Yu speak, but it was only for two, three seconds before he nodded again, saying in a warm voice, ¡°True, that¡¯s on me for not thinking of everything. It¡¯s just that I live nearby, so I came over in the spur of the moment. You don¡¯t know this, but he¡¯s normally very hard-working. He¡¯s always the earliest to arrive in the morning, so I didn¡¯t expect him to stay up late and laze about in bed as soon as the entrance exams were over.¡±


    The smile on his face and the intimate way he phrased his words were all telling Song Yu: they were very good friends.


    No matter how you look at it, blocking your younger brother¡¯s friend outside was not a respectable way for an older brother to behave.


    ¡°Uhm, bro, I just ran over and am a bit thirsty. Can I come in for some water?¡± Shen Mi watched Song Yu. ¡°I can also wait for him in the meantime.¡±


    At the end, he entered, just like he wanted.


    ¡°Water¡¯s on the kitchen island. There are other drinks in the fridge, take what you want.¡± Song Yu returned back to the kitchen counter after he finished speaking. He opened the packaged bottle of milk and poured it into a mug, putting it into the microwave to warm up.


    Shen Mi also entered the kitchen and poured himself a cup of cold boiled water. Sound drifted down from upstairs after he silently drank half of it.


    ¡°Gege? Ge¡­¡± Yue Zhishi shuffled around in his slippers. He saw Song Yu¡¯s open door with no one inside the room; he looked from upstairs into the living room, and it also didn¡¯t look like anyone was in there. Thinking he wasn¡¯t at home, he picked up Cotton Candy who was passing by and used a different way of calling as he played with Cotton Candy¡¯s paws. ¡°Song Yu?¡±


    Song Yu carried the cup of milk and walked out of the kitchen. He tilted his head up and looked at Yue Zhishi once he got to the living room. ¡°Who are you calling?¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s hair was messy and disordered from sleeping. He gave Song Yu a guilty, yet silly, smile and called him gege, plopping onto the handrail.


    ¡°Good morning.¡±


    Someone else appeared next to Song Yu, and Yue Zhishi froze in surprise. ¡°Shen Mi? How come you¡¯re here?¡±


    ¡°I want to go to school with you to clean out our desks. Did you forget the day before the exams we promised to play ball together after they were over?¡± Shen Mi placed his two hands on his hips and looked up at Yue Zhishi, smiling. ¡°I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re still sleeping. Look at where the sun¡¯s at?¡±


    Yue Zhishi remembered. ¡°Ah, yes. I played too late with my ge last night, I¡¯ve completely forgotten about picking up my books.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Shen Mi sighed. ¡°I ran over so early just to look for you. You can¡¯t be standing me up, right?¡±


    ¡°No, but I don¡¯t really want to play ball. Why don¡¯t we just go clean out our stuff first.¡± Yue Zhisi looked again at Song Yu as he hugged Cotton Candy. ¡°But Aunt Rong just called me and said we should go to Yanghe Qizhe for lunch.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t speak. Instead, Shen Mi replied in excitement, ¡°Really? That¡¯s so good, auntie¡¯s food is super yummy.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was a bit apologetic about changing his mind about playing basketball, so he compensated by bringing up a suggestion he thought was a very good idea. ¡°Then how about this, let¡¯s first clean out our desks and then go to Yanghe Qizhe for lunch together.¡± He turned to look at Song Yu again, his face changing to an expression he always had whenever he wanted something. ¡°Gege, can you drive me to school?¡±


    Song Yu was silent for a second. ¡°Am I a tool?¡±


    Yue Zhishi immediately refuted, ¡°Of course not, I just want you to go with me.¡±


    At the end, Song Yu still agreed.


    Yue Zhishi changed his clothes very quickly and came downstairs, and he even ran over very naturally to drink the warm cup of milk Song Yu was holding. Even though he wasn¡¯t very happy about it, Song Yu still changed his clothes and went out with him when he thought about how inconvenient it¡¯d be for Yue Zhishi to lug his books into a taxi.


    Their journey to school now included one more person, and Song Yu in the driver¡¯s seat suddenly became a bit unnecessary. Yue Zhishi sat in the passenger seat, and all the things he talked about with Shen Mi, who was sitting in the back, was about their class 10 ¡ª like the gratitude dinner party for their teachers, or who stayed overnight in an internet cafe or who confessed to whom after the entrance exams.


    These were all blank areas Song Yu wasn¡¯t familiar with; this was the first time he experienced the absurd idea that he actually didn¡¯t understand Yue Zhishi as well as he thought he did.


    The road to school also coincidentally made people impatient. They once again hit another red light, and Shen Mi was already talking about their summer plans. He chattered about a comic convention coming up in a month, and the topic just so happened to be what Yue Zhishi was most interested in.


    ¡°Are you going too?¡± Yue Zhishi twisted his entire body over. ¡°I want to go too!¡±


    Song Yu threw him a glance. ¡°Sit properly. It¡¯s dangerous.¡±


    Yue Zhishi sat back down and faced ahead very obediently after he was chided. He peeped at Song Yu, and then he stretched out a hand to touch Song Yu¡¯s arm. ¡°Such a long red light.¡±


    Song Yu felt this was one of Yue Zhishi¡¯s ways of pacifying him ¡ª Yue Zhishi seemed to be really skilled at accomodating his moods. He pretty much only needed to reach out a hand, and he was able to cleanly, precisely catch his moods. But Song Yu thought again ¡ª maybe Yue Zhishi himself didn¡¯t even know he was pacifying him.


    Maybe he was just used to his temper and knew exactly how to handle it.


    At the back, Shen Mi suggested going together and even said he had already prepared for it. ¡°You can relax, you definitely won¡¯t get lost if you follow me.¡±


    The red light turned green, and Song Yu once again pressed on the accelerator. Yue Zhishi agreed to Shen Mi¡¯s invitation.


    Song Yu wasn¡¯t able to go in when they were clearing out their desks; he was only able to wait in the car. Yue Zhishi and Shen Mi went back and forth a few times, and Shen Mi helped Yue Zhishi carry things in a very friendly manner He busied himself with every little thing, as if he himself didn¡¯t have many books to clear out.


    ¡°Nothing left?¡±


    ¡°Nope!¡± Yue Zhishi placed the last bundle of books into the car trunk. ¡°I have everything.¡±


    Shen Mi stood behind Yue Zhishi. ¡°Thank you, brother Song Yu. Or else we might¡¯ve needed to call a taxi.¡±


    Song Yu closed the lid of the trunk, not speaking, and went directly to the driver¡¯s seat and drove to Yanghe Qizhe. The timing was just right ¡ª Lin Rong was ordering the waiters to get the dishes ready just as they arrived. She saw Yue Zhishi enter the courtyard through the ceiling to floor windows, and when she saw Shen Mi also closely following behind him, she came out enthusiastically to welcome them.


    Shen Mi knew exactly what to do. He went up to Lin Rong and said: ¡°Auntie, I¡¯m here to bother you again. Your food is just too delicious.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s all this nonsense about bothering me. If you like my food that much, then you can come here every day.¡± Lin Rong smiled as she pulled him in, not giving her own son a single look.


    It was like Song Yu was an invisible person as he silently walked behind them. Only Yue Zhishi looked back, tugging at his arm, and said, ¡°A young school sister gave me some milk tea earlier.¡±


    Song Yu asked in reply, with not much inflection in his voice, ¡°Was it nice?¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t take it.¡± Yue Zhishi entered the restaurant, their table near the window. ¡°I¡¯m not the kind of scum man who takes someone else¡¯s milk tea with a clear conscience even though I don¡¯t like them.¡±


    Song Yu lightly laughed. ¡°You better not be.¡±


    Yue Zhishi sat down and lifted his head to Song Yu, wrinkling his nose in uncertainty. It felt like there was a strange undertone to his words, as if he was angry at someone ¡ª and he even sat across from him.


    Seeing Song Yu not speaking, Yue Zhishi actively went to sit next to him. ¡°When does your summer holiday start? Let¡¯s go swimming together, a new indoor pool opened nearby. The water¡¯s really clean.¡±


    ¡°Indoor pool?¡± Shen Mi was helping Lin Rong bring out dishes. After he placed down a plate of sweet and sour fish, he sat across from Yue Zhishi. ¡°Are you talking about the one near the subway? I just opened a membership.¡±


    Song Yu hooked up the corners of his mouth and said to Yue Zhishi, ¡°What luck, there¡¯s someone to go with you to everything you want to do.¡±


    Yue Zhishi looked at him and frowned. ¡°You¡¯re not going?¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t directly give him a response. Lin Rong came over, and Shen Mi shifted over slightly. ¡°Auntie, you¡¯ve worked hard!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine, there¡¯s a few new dishes this time. I¡¯m planning on promoting these this season, so why don¡¯t you guys give them a try?¡±


    As they ate, Lin Rong questioned how Shen Mi¡¯s exams went. Shen Mi laughed as he gave a piece of fish picked free of bones to Yue Zhishi. ¡°They went quite well, I should be able to get into the university I want to go to.¡±


    ¡°Not bad.¡± Lin Rong asked, smiling: ¡°Where do you want to go?¡±


    ¡°Wuhan U.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s chopsticks paused the instant the words left Shen Mi¡¯s mouth.


    ¡°You want to go to Wuhan U too? Me too.¡± Yue Zhishi ate a piece of cherry pork meat, and then he picked up an even larger piece to give to Song Yu. He quietly said to him, ¡°This is really good, you should try it.¡±


    Shen Mi glanced at the fish Yue Zhishi had yet to touch. ¡°I know, you¡¯re always talking about Wuhan U this and Wuhan U that ¡ª my ear¡¯s about to fall off.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s fantastic, it¡¯ll be so good if you guys can get in together. You¡¯ll be able to take care of each other.¡± Lin Rong was very happy and gave Shen Mi a bowl of dried shrimp and spare rib soup. ¡°Our Le Le¡¯s like a little child. I¡¯ve been worried about him being cheated or bullied by other people ever since he was a child. If you do end up going to Wuhan U, please take care of him.¡±


    Shen Mi smiled as he took the bowl of soup. ¡°That goes without saying. Auntie, don¡¯t worry.¡±


    Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t very satisfied by this conversation. ¡°I¡¯m not a child anymore. Besides, gege is at Wuhan U too, I¡¯ll look for him if anything happens.¡±


    Lin Rong purposefully teased, ¡°Your brother¡¯s busy enough to die, how does he have the time to worry about you.¡±


    ¡°So Song Yu bro is also at Wuhan U.¡± Shen Mi¡¯s face looked a bit startled. ¡°What a coincidence. Then we¡¯ll be senior-junior brothers ¡ª that¡¯s fantastic.¡±


    Song Yu flicked a look at him, too lazy to respond. He only silently said in his heart, it¡¯s not a coincidence at all, the person sitting in front of you is only going to Wuhan U because of me.


    Yue Zhishi was incredibly excited at being able to praise his gege. ¡°That¡¯s right, my ge is super amazing. He¡¯s already doing experiments with postgraduate seniors.¡±


    ¡°Wow.¡± Slight admiration appeared on Shen Mi¡¯s face. ¡°Le Le, you and your brother give off entirely different feelings. You really don¡¯t seem like brothers.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t like these words at all and lifted up his chin in dissatisfaction. ¡°He¡¯s still my ge.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re so cute,¡± Shen Mi abruptly, very straight-forwardly said.


    Song Yu raised his head, his eyes squinting slightly. He focused on Shen Mi, who was smiling like a ray of sunshine.


    He suddenly realised there truly was a large disparity between people. When Xia Zhixu smiled, he too was like a ray of sunlight ¡ª but the smile on his face was always comfortable to look at and could very easily make people feel closer to him. But the person in front of him ¡ª the more he looked at him, the more Song Yu disliked him.


    Before today, Song Yu thought his instinctive dislike of Shen Mi came from his prejudice towards him. He¡¯d thought he should be less narrow-minded, but after meeting him today, Song Yu overthrew his own doubt towards himself.


    Shen Mi was completely different from any of Yue Zhishi¡¯s previous friends.


    Song Yu was very clear on this.


    ¡°Right?¡± It was like Lin Rong identified herself in Shen Mi. ¡°Did you know, Le Le was even cuter when he was younger. I was always noticed when I went out with him. When I picked him up from kindergarten, everyone would always call me the mom of ¡®that western doll¡¯, and it gave me so much face.¡±


    Shen Mi widened his eyes. ¡°Are there photos? I really want to see him as a kid, did he look pretty much like one of those child models?¡±


    Yue Zhishi immediately rejected him. ¡°No way, you can¡¯t see me as a kid.¡±


    For the majority of the time, Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t like it the other people called him cute. To him, the term ¡®cute¡¯ meant being childish, innocent and not mature enough.


    He had a target he really, really wanted to catch up to ¡ª and so he always tried his best to downplay the distance between them.


    Lin Rong ignored Yue Zhishi¡¯s rejection and said to Shen Mi: ¡°The photos are at home. I¡¯ll take them out for you to look at the next time you come over to play. We used to have two large album, but for some reason¡ª¡±


    And here, Lin Rong looked a bit puzzled, ¡°¡ªwe only have one left at home. I can¡¯t find the other one no matter where I look.¡±


    Song Yu choked as soon as Lin Rong spoke. He coughed, head lowered, and Yue Zhishi immediately gave him his own cup of water, patting his back and softly asking if he was okay.


    ¡°Did you choke on a fish bone?¡± Shen Mi was very concerned. ¡°My mom says drinking some vinegar can help. Do you want to try?¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head and very sincerely refused. ¡°That¡¯s just a folk remedy.¡±


    Song Yu took a sip of the water Yue Zhishi had given him and said in a low voice that he was fine.


    ¡°By the way, there was a girl just now who wanted to give Le Le her name badge.¡± Shen Mi chuckled. ¡°But she was brutally rejected.¡±


    ¡°Name badge?¡± Lin Rong doubtfully queried. ¡°Isn¡¯t that the thing you guys have to wear every day at school? What¡¯s the point in taking someone else¡¯s, it¡¯s not like you can wear it.¡±


    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t know this auntie, but nowadays, giving your name badge away is the same thing as confessing.¡±


    Lin Rong¡¯s gossipy heart was lit aflame by this knowledge. ¡°Really~ Then Le Le, why didn¡¯t you take it?¡±


    Yue Zhishi opened his mouth and choked, and after hesitating for two seconds, he quietly said, ¡°I already have one from a long time ago. I don¡¯t need anyone else¡¯s.¡±


    ¡°Really? Whose did you take? When? You didn¡¯t even tell me.¡±


    From Lin Rong¡¯s reaction, Yue Zhishi felt like he was about to light himself on fire. He also didn¡¯t know why, but his words started to falter. ¡°¡­Giving or taking a name badge doesn¡¯t have to mean that. Sometimes good friends can also give their badges away as a memento.¡±


    He was rarely like this ¡ª most of the time, he spoke openly, confidently and very frankly.


    Maybe it was because he didn¡¯t sleep enough last night and was feeling out of sorts, Yue Zhishi comforted himself.


    Lin Rong persistently refused to give up. ¡°So whose did you take?¡±


    Without waiting for Yue Zhishi to open his mouth, Song Yu admitted very bluntly: ¡°Mine.¡±


    The other three people around the table looked at Song Yu, but he continued looking indifferent, like this entire matter had nothing to do with him. He said, with a poker face, ¡°Yue Zhishi asked me for it when I graduated high school. He wanted to steal some luck since I tested so well.¡±


    Lin Rong thought this was quite reasonable. ¡°I see, so it was like that.¡±


    She picked up the ladle, stirring the soup in its bowl, and joked, ¡°Your brother¡¯s name badge must¡¯ve definitely been hard to get. Who knows how many girls are still thinking about it.¡±


    Shen Mi was a bit dazed, but he smiled again very quickly. ¡°Are the two of you breaking off each other¡¯s peach blossoms?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t have all that many peach blossoms.¡± Yue Zhishi was eager to brush over this topic ¡ª he thought how he¡¯d just mentioned being given milk tea, and Song Yu didn¡¯t have a good reaction.


    He didn¡¯t want to put Song Yu in a bad mood.


    When he lowered his head, he realised Song Yu was wearing the same pair of shoes as he was. It was the same style, just in a different colour ¡ª it was such a tiny, trivial similarity, and yet Yue Zhishi became happy because of this.


    The reasons for his mood changes were always very simple.


    Lin Rong gave Yue Zhishi a bunch of water spinach. ¡°You can slowly gather peach blossoms if you don¡¯t have any. You¡¯re about to start university. Don¡¯t be like your brother focusing only on your studies and living like an acetic monk. At your age, you should go out more and meet more friends.¡±


    ¡°Auntie¡¯s right, I was thinking like that too.¡± Shen Mi said, ¡°I want to find a place to work at over the summer holiday and earn some pocket money. I don¡¯t want to ask my parents for money anymore after going to university.¡±


    Shen Mi¡¯s image in front of Lin Rong was originally a friendly and sensible child. After hearing this, Lin Rong appreciated his way of thinking. ¡°Not bad. Then have you found a suitable job yet?¡±


    Shen Mi shook his head and sighed. ¡°It¡¯s not easy looking for work. Very few places want to hire someone who¡¯s just graduated high school.¡±


    Seeing how worried he looked, Yue Zhishi thought of an idea. ¡°Why don¡¯t you try home tutoring?¡±


    ¡°There are too many home tutors now, and parents only want students from the big brand name universities.¡±


    Lin Rong thought for a while. ¡°Why don¡¯t you come to Yanghe Qizhe. You know how to talk, and you have a good personality too ¡ª you can come and help me.¡± She patted Shen Mi¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Auntie will treat you well.¡±


    ¡°Really? Auntie, you¡¯re too good of a person!¡±


    Song Yu had nothing to say as he watched the lively scene across from him. He only turned his head over and said to Yue Zhishi, ¡°Since you already have a major to think about, relax at home over the holiday. Read some books, and polish yourself a bit.¡±


    ¡°I know.¡± Yue Zhishi said, as if he didn¡¯t need to think about it at all. He grasped Song Yu¡¯s wrist under the table, whispering, ¡°Can I go to Wuhan U to see you? People say Wuhan U¡¯s library is very good.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s too far,¡± Song Yu said.


    But he rapidly added, as if he was comforting him, ¡°I¡¯ll come back during the summer holiday.¡±


    Lin Rong also persuaded Yue Zhishi. ¡°Listen to your brother and rest at home. Study after you¡¯ve refreshed yourself.¡±


    Shen Mi watched Song Yu and Yue Zhishi and said, after a long while, ¡°You two have a great brotherly relationship. I¡¯m jealous, I really wanted an older brother when I was younger too.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was rather pleased with himself. He secretly thought, even if Shen Mi had an older brother, he¡¯d definitely wouldn¡¯t be as good and outstanding as Song Yu ¡ª he felt even luckier thinking about it.


    Lin Rong sighed emotionally: ¡°That¡¯s right, Le Le has clung to his brother the most since he was a child. He refused to be even half a step away when he was younger and wanted to eat and sleep together.¡±


    Shen Mi looked at Song Yu and laughed again. ¡°Then what¡¯ll happen after they both get partners? They wouldn¡¯t be able to live together at that point anyway?¡±


    The two people across the table grew silent at those teasing words. Yue Zhishi fell into a bit of a daze, blinking a few times. The table abruptly shook ¡ª it was Song Yu¡¯s cellphone. Song Yu left the table with it and connected the call once he reached a ceiling to floor window not too far away. Yue Zhishi mutely gazed at his back, Shen Mi¡¯s question still circling in his brain.


    Song Yu returned after a little while. Lin Rong asked if he had something he needed to do.


    ¡°Mn. A senior brother just called to tell me we need to have an unplanned group meeting this afternoon. He said I needed to report the data from earlier during the meeting.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was a bit disappointed. ¡°Then do you need to leave?¡± He always felt a bit guilty whenever he requested something, so the sound of his querying voice turned softer. ¡°Can you ask for a day off?¡±


    Song Yu nodded, drinking some water before placing the cup down. ¡°I have to go to the meeting. We need to talk about the progress of our recent work with the other people in the group. All the data is with me, so it¡¯s irresponsible if I ask for a day off so casually.¡± He took his car key once he finished, as if he was already preparing to leave.


    Since it was already like this, Yue Zhishi had no other way to stop him. His brain considered the possibility of forcefully going with Song Yu later that afternoon, but since Song Yu needed to go into a meeting, there was no way he could sneak inside ¡ª he might even cause him some trouble.


    ¡°Your brother¡¯s truly amazing.¡± Shen Mi once again sounded like he was in admiration. ¡°Not like me ¡ª I only know how to take you places to play without thinking about studying or working. If it were me, I definitely wouldn¡¯t go back for the meeting since I¡¯m already here.¡±


    Song Yu was already weary of these little obvious, surface-level tricks.


    But Shen Mi clearly was not ¡ª he added, ¡°He¡¯s clearly only older than us by three years. How come he¡¯s so mature.¡±


    Song Yu stood up. He gave Shen Mi a kind smile.


    ¡°Maybe because I¡¯ve gone to university.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Little brother Shen is simply an assist, he¡¯s not a villain hhh he¡¯s not a bad person at all, but gege is truly a Tea Connoisseur.


    ps: I¡¯ve successfully managed to write a new way of appreciating green tea?

 CH 50

    Chapter 50: Catalytic Reaction


    Remembering that Yue Zhishi and Shen Mi¡¯s books were still in his car, Song Yu suggested switching cars with Lin Rong. They exchanged car keys, and Song Yu went out of Yanghe Qizhe. Not long after Song Yu left, Yue Zhishi chased after him.


    Song Yu had already started the car, but he still rolled down the window and looked at him when he saw Yue Zhishi come out.


    Yue Zhishi was panting a bit from his run. He leaned against the car window, called out gege and asked, ¡°Are you not happy about something?¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s elbow was resting on the windowsill. He lifted an eyebrow. ¡°Why do you ask?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know either.¡± Yue Zhishi pursed his lips. ¡°I keep feeling like you and Shen Mi aren¡¯t getting along well, maybe I¡¯m just imagining things. But I don¡¯t like it when he speaks to you like that.¡±


    Song Yu saw how worried he looked and slightly wanted to laugh. ¡°A friend¡¯s come over for lunch, and yet you left him inside to run out by yourself. You¡¯re even talking badly about him ¡ª is this really good?¡±


    He even said on purpose, ¡°Shen Mi cares about you so much, he wants to go with you to everything you want to do. Unlike me, who still needs to go to a meeting even though I¡¯ve already come back.¡±


    Yue Zhishi felt like everything Song Yu said this morning was hard to deal with it, but he was amused by these words. ¡°Your words are so strange.¡± He reached out a hand to adjust Song Yu¡¯s watch, ensuring it faced properly upwards on his wrist. ¡°Drive slowly, it should be fine if you¡¯re late for a bit. You haven¡¯t even started your postgraduate studies yet, but you¡¯re already so busy¡­¡±


    ¡°Do you want to leave with me?¡± Song Yu abruptly opened his mouth.


    Yue Zhishi immediately froze ¡ª he even thought he heard wrongly and kept staring at Song Yu, the hand holding Song Yu¡¯s wrist loosening.


    ¡°Just joking.¡± A slight smile hung on Song Yu¡¯s face. He stretched out a hand and squeezed Yue Zhishi¡¯s nape. ¡°Go back in and finish your food.¡±


    He still left by himself in the end, as if he sobered up in the space of a moment.


    And then Yue Zhishi also woke up. He returned back to Yanghe Qizhe by himself.


    Before he went inside, Yue Zhishi touched his own nape. He wasn¡¯t used to being touched there at all ¡ª in his memories, Song Yu had never done anything like that to him before. He was a bit not used to it, but he was also slightly pleased by the affectionate intimacy.


    He hoped Song Yu would stop joking like that ¨C- he really could take him away if he wanted. And yet he felt Song Yu was different from usual when he was joking: he felt even closer.


    His contradictory and bewildered feelings left Yue Zhishi immersed in his own world after he returned. He didn¡¯t really respond to Shen Mi¡¯s chatter and also forgot to tell him to not speak to his gege like that.


    After they finished eating, Lin Rong drove the two boys back. Shen Mi barely took the initiative to speak as they drove and was like a completely different person from when they first arrived. Yue Zhishi vaguely felt the atmosphere wasn¡¯t quite right, but he couldn¡¯t really tell why. He¡¯d never liked pondering over other people¡¯s moods, and he also felt Shen Mi kept changing back and forth. Shen Mi was usually fine, but he¡¯d changed into a different person after he met Song Yu and was different again now.


    All of this left Yue Zhishi confused, but he didn¡¯t want his friend and gege to not get along.


    Shen Mi¡¯s home was in the same neighbourhood as the Song family¡¯s and was very near. Lin Rong first dropped Shen Mi off at home, telling Yue Zhishi to help him take his books in.


    It was very quiet in the elevator. Yue Zhishi stared at the constantly changing number on the screen, and he suddenly heard Shen Mi speak.


    ¡°Le Le, what do you think of your relationship with your brother?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s really good. He¡¯s the best person I¡¯ve ever met,¡± Yue Zhishi said without even thinking about it. His arms were a bit sore, so he supported the books against the elevator panels. ¡°Haven¡¯t I told you this many times?¡±


    Shen Mi was quiet for two seconds. ¡°True.¡±


    He¡¯d said so many times, but without truly meeting him, he¡¯d still held a bit of wishful thinking.


    Yue Zhishi thought about their lunch, thinking maybe Shen Mi was a bit biased against his ge. He explained again, ¡°He honestly is a really good person. He¡¯s so good you wouldn¡¯t be able to imagine it.¡±


    Shen Mi laughed out loud at hearing this. He glanced at Yue Zhishi as he continued carrying his books. ¡°Do you know you sometimes sound like a child when you talk? Like a child who lacks a sufficient amount of adjectives to describe something ¡ª you¡¯ve been using the word ¡®good¡¯ over and over again.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s because I don¡¯t know how else I could describe him.¡± Yue Zhishi followed Shen Mi out the elevator, his words very honest.


    Shen Mi opened his door, pulling off his heavy schoolbag and placing the books in his hands into the entrance. He then took the pile of books in Yue Zhishi¡¯s arms. ¡°Thanks.¡±


    Yue Zhishi suddenly remembered. ¡°Ah, I think you¡¯ve left your basketball in the restaurant.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s fine, I¡¯m not really in the mood to play today.¡± Shen Mi stretched his arms around. ¡°I¡¯m really tired. My back and waist are already sore just from moving these books.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded. ¡°Okay, since you¡¯ll be at Yanghe Qizhe anyway, you can leave the ball there. We¡¯ll play together next time.¡± Talking about basketball, he thought of the scene of Song Yu and him sneakily playing at school, and a smile appeared on his face. He then acted like he usually did and happily shared this with Shen Mi. ¡°Let me tell you, my ge took me to play ball last night. I even did a dunk.¡±


    But he very quickly and honestly admitted: ¡°Even though the dunk was through cheating.¡±


    Shen Mi also smiled. ¡°No wonder.¡±


    ¡°No wonder what?¡± Yue Zhishi asked.


    Shen Mi shook his head. He abruptly thought of something as well, telling Yue Zhishi to wait there for a bit, and then went into the living room. He took out something from the drawer underneath the tea table and rushed back to the entrance. ¡°This is a ticket for the comic convention.¡± He gave it to Yue Zhishi. ¡°I¡¯ll remind you a day ahead this time.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve even bought tickets already.¡± Yue Zhishi took it, cheerfully staring at the ticket. ¡°I¡¯ll pay you back in a bit.¡±


    Shen Mi rubbed the back of his head. ¡°You don¡¯t need to. It didn¡¯t cost much, and I only found a place to work because of you.¡± He pressed his lips together. ¡°Uhm, it felt like your brother didn¡¯t really welcome me when I went to look for you at home today. He didn¡¯t believe I was your friend either and seemed a bit unhappy. So I lied and said I didn¡¯t know he was your brother ¡ª I actually already knew who he was as soon as I saw him. He¡¯s exactly like how you described.¡±


    He just hadn¡¯t been willing to accept it.


    After frankly admitting it, Shen Mi looked again at Yue Zhishi. ¡°But you ¡ª did you really not talk to him before about me?¡±


    ¡°You shouldn¡¯t have lied to him.¡± Yue Zhishi was very biased on what he focused on, but he was also very honest in replying to Shen Mi¡¯s question. ¡°I¡¯ve mentioned you before, just not that much.¡±


    ¡®Not that much¡¯ pretty much meant he hadn¡¯t mentioned him at all. Shen Mi was very clear on this, so he nodded. ¡°Anyway, I didn¡¯t really watch what I said today. My mouth kept going and said a lot of useless things. Don¡¯t be angry. I won¡¯t look for trouble. Now that I think about it, it was impolite and a bit foolish of me to rush directly to your place. Besides, I really do think your brother¡¯s really amazing. I¡¯m quite jealous of him.¡±


    His words came very quickly, to the point Yue Zhishi thought he misspoke his last sentence ¡ª accidentally saying ¡®jealous of him¡¯ instead of ¡®jealous of you¡¯. But he chose to automatically filter out this little ¡®slip of the tongue¡¯.


    ¡°That¡¯s fine, I truly do have a slight problem with people saying my ge¡¯s not good. I¡¯ve been like this since I was a child. His personality really is a bit ¡®strangers stay away¡¯, and he¡¯s always a bit cold interacting in the beginning with people he¡¯s not familiar with. But you¡¯ll understand later ¡ª he honestly is a really good person. So don¡¯t target my ge, okay?¡±


    ¡°I can tell you truly have an older brother complex from your head to your toes.¡± The smile on Shen Mi¡¯s face slightly faded. ¡°But in this world, there are a lot of people other than him.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t really understand what he meant, frowning in uncertainty. He focused on Shen Mi¡¯s eyes, but he only received Shen Mi¡¯s urging him to go downstairs without any further explanation.


    Once he got back in the car, he saw Lin Rong with a super large bar of chocolate from somewhere. She struggled to break off a piece to put into her mouth, and when she saw Yue Zhishi, she also broke off a piece for him.


    ¡°I¡¯ll take you home. I need to go back to Yanghe Qizhe in a bit.¡±


    ¡°I can also go and help,¡± Yue Zhishi said.


    ¡°Don¡¯t, your brother just sent me a message saying you didn¡¯t sleep enough last night and told me to send you home to sleep.¡± Lin Rong started up the car, her mouth still filled with chocolate and her words a bit muffled. ¡°Shen Mi was also acting strangely today. This was his first time seeing Xiao Yu, right?¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡±


    ¡°Xiao Yu just doesn¡¯t like to talk. You¡¯ll need to explain that to Shen Mi.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve already told him. He understood.¡±


    Lin Rong passed the chocolate to Yue Zhishi, turning around the steering wheel completely to exit in a different direction. ¡°Shen Mi ¡ª this child really does care about you a lot. I feel he really does take you as a very close friend. When he came in to help with the dishes, I asked him if he was preparing to relax over the next few days, and all of his plans were things you like doing.¡±


    ¡°I know he treats me really well.¡± Yue Zhishi searched up the price of the comic convention ticket, head lowered, and then transferred the sum to Shen Mi over WeChat. He was able to relax after doing so, and then he added, ¡°All of my friends are especially nice.¡±


    ¡°But¡­ I feel like Shen Mi is sometimes too anxious and can¡¯t hide how possessive he is about his good friends. It¡¯s not really a bad thing if he treats you well, but it¡¯s a bit too obvious.¡± She chuckled, ¡°Of course, he¡¯s still a child. He can¡¯t really control himself.¡±


    She also couldn¡¯t understand it ¡ª he was usually very normal, how did he suddenly change after meeting Song Yu? It was like he had been very anxious to show off how well he got along with Yue Zhishi.


    Yue Zhishi listened to Lin Rong¡¯s words, and after thinking for a while, he said, ¡°I don¡¯t think Jiang Yufan would be like that.¡±


    ¡°Xiao Fan is just as open-hearted as you, always like a happy foolish child. Hey, I haven¡¯t seen him for a while. He wouldn¡¯t happen to be dating, would he?¡±


    ¡°How¡¯d you know?¡± Yue Zhishi looked at Lin Rong, completely looking like he thought she could foretell things like a prophet.


    Lin Rong clicked her tongue a few times. ¡°Boys your age are truly very easy to see through. Other than you and your brother ¡ª you two should be covered by peach blossoms, and yet you guys don¡¯t have a single person you like.¡±


    Yue Zhishi fed Lin Rong a piece of chocolate. ¡°But I do. I like Aunt Rong.¡±


    Being forcefully fed a piece of chocolate, Lin Rong replied in an unclear voice: ¡°Boys your age just know how to sweet talk!¡±


    ¡°How could you mock my true heart?¡± Yue Zhishi said in the exact way Lin Rong normally did, causing her to have nothing to say in reply.


    Once they arrived home, he sent a message to Song Yu, telling him in exact detail what Shen Mi had said earlier.


    But after waiting for a long time, he only received a reply that had nothing to do with his message.


    [Gege: I won¡¯t interfere in your friendships with others. It¡¯s fine as long as you think the other person treats you well.]


    ¨C


    Before the exams, Yue Zhishi had truly wanted to sleep in as long as he could and catch up on all the sleep he¡¯d been missing out on ¡ª but once he actually tried to do so, he realised it was actually very hard to do. A person¡¯s biological clock was etched into their body¡¯s memories, and he was unable to keep sleeping once his normal wake up time arrived. So later on, Yue Zhishi followed in Song Yu¡¯s footsteps, cycling to the library every day to read books.


    He was also aware that his interest towards law was actually very shallow. It was possible he might lose all interest once he read a civil law textbook, so he spent a lot of time reading. He would become quite excited once he read some exhilarating cases, and a day in the library went by very quickly.


    In the endless last ten-plus years, Yue Zhishi had always been like this. He followed the roads Song Yu had strode in, walking in Song Yu¡¯s footsteps to pass his own life.


    Shen Mi didn¡¯t actually invite Yue Zhishi to go out every day like he previously said he would. After meeting Song Yu once, he realised the relationship between the two of them was even closer than he¡¯d imagined and would be very hard to shake ¡ª he decided he might as well retreat for the sake of the future. He helped Lin Rong at Yanghe Qizhe every day, and when it was quiet, he would read in the restaurant.


    Sometimes Yue Zhishi would also go to the restaurant. They¡¯d eat together and then go home together since they lived so close; Shen Mi watched all the anime Yue Zhishi chased after, so they were always able to have something to talk about.


    Song Yu¡¯s summer holiday started later than expected, and he was called by Lin Rong to Yanghe Qizhe on his first day back.


    Lin Rong had received an engagement banquet booking over this period of time. It was one of her best friends¡¯ children, so she spent a lot of time and effort designing the menu and the venue decorations. Fresh blooms of Chinese wisterias, lilies of the valley and white roses had been delivered over, and they covered Yanghe Qizhe until the place almost looked like it belonged to the celestial heavens.


    When Song Yu arrived, Yanghe Qizhe¡¯s workers were organising the seating. He immediately saw Shen Mi, who was wearing the same uniform as him, and he was helping a female worker move chairs, carrying four all by himself. Separated by a few metres, Shen Mi also saw him and gave him a smile, calling out brother Song Yu.


    Even though he didn¡¯t have the best impression of him, Song Yu still nodded before he went around them, heading directly into the restaurant. As soon as he went in, he saw Yue Zhishi standing on a long table, holding a long strand of Chinese wisteria flowers. He was trying very hard to hang the flowers on the ceiling, but the drooping flowers kept falling onto his face and veiling his vision.


    Just as Yue Zhishi was struggling, Song Yu stepped onto the table and took a hold of the flowers in front of his face, gathering them all together into his hand.


    His vision was suddenly cleared, Song Yu¡¯s face appearing behind the Chinese wisteria blooms, and Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes immediately brightened. ¡°You¡¯re back?¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡± Song Yu used his other hand to hang the strand of flowers onto the hook and then straightened them out. ¡°We can hang the last bunch now.¡±


    Yue Zhishi took a step backwards, but he¡¯d spent too much time trying to hang these flowers and had forgotten he was pretty much standing on the edge of the table. He lost his balance after taking this one step, unable to stop himself from falling backwards ¡ª luckily, Song Yu¡¯s sharp eyes and agile hands caught and pulled him directly into his arms.


    ¡°That was really scary.¡± Yue Zhishi rested in Song Yu¡¯s arms, cold sweat covering his body. He lifted his head and saw Shen Mi come in with some extra chairs, and after seeing this scene, Shen Mi¡¯s face turned a bit strange.


    ¡°Be careful.¡± Song Yu saw Shen Mi as well once he turned his head, and he dropped the hand clasped around Yue Zhishi¡¯s waist. ¡°Get down, I¡¯ll hang up the rest.¡±


    But Yue Zhishi was unwilling to leave. He circled around the table, as if he was afraid Song Yu would also commit the same rookie mistake as he did.


    Shen Mi detoured around them, mutely taking away the baskets of flowers leaning against the wall. He placed them all according to Lin Rong¡¯s instructions, and then finally called Yue Zhishi over, telling him to stand in the restaurant and let him know if he displayed the banners correctly.


    After finishing with the flowers, Song Yu stood next to the table, his eyes focused on the two people separated from him by a glass window. Yue Zhishi was telling Shen Mi to either shift left or shift right, the two of them gesturing to each other, and Shen Mi ended up doing something that made Yue Zhishi collapse onto the window in laughter.


    They busied themselves until 9pm before the entire venue was fully decorated. Lin Rong needed to drive three female workers home, so Song Yu ended up driving the two boys.


    Yue Zhishi and Shen Mi fervently talked about the upcoming comic convention and exhibitions. ¡°I need to bring my DLSR, there should be many people cosplaying the characters I like in three days.¡±


    Shen Mi was leaning against the car door as he sat, able to completely see the side of Yue Zhishi¡¯s face. ¡°You can cosplay too, you¡¯re better looking than all of them. Your facial features all stand out, and you wouldn¡¯t even need to wear a wig if you cosplay certain characters.¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head. ¡°No, I like watching other people. I don¡¯t like being watched.¡±


    Red light ¡ª Song Yu stopped the car, casually saying, ¡°People will look at you even if you¡¯re just standing there.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± Shen Mi very naturally expressed his agreement. This time, it was like he learned his lesson, and he occasionally tried interacting with Song Yu as he talked with Yue Zhishi, asking things like how were Wuhan U¡¯s cafeterias or how many people stayed in a dorm together.


    Even though he didn¡¯t really like him, for Yue Zhishi, Song Yu still answered every one of his questions. The atmosphere around the three of them in the car was still a bit awkward, but it was better than the first time. Song Yu was very clear about Shen Mi¡¯s heart, but he also felt Shen Mi was a child and didn¡¯t want to expose him. He may not want someone plotting for Yue Zhishi existing around Yue Zhishi, but Song Yu didn¡¯t have any right to interfere in someone else¡¯s actions.


    Or interfere in what Yue Zhishi wanted.


    The cramped and narrow space of the car made it very suitable to observe others. Shen Mi¡¯s line of sight always rested on Yue Zhishi, unlike when they were in school together. Yue Zhishi continued to constantly mention his gege using an adoring tone of voice, but he was only able to discover more things after he was given the chance to observe him directly.


    Yue Zhishi liked to grab Song Yu¡¯s hand whenever he started to have fun chatting ¡ª even if that hand was on the steering wheel, he would still subconsciously reach out to touch it. It was like it had already become a habit, and Song Yu very much indulged it, not saying a single word.


    All of this was caught in Shen Mi¡¯s eyes. He wanted to say to Yue Zhishi, wouldn¡¯t you disturb your brother driving? but after calming down, he decided to give up on it.


    After last time, Shen Mi knew he couldn¡¯t act like that.


    Yue Zhishi rolled down the window, saying he¡¯ll see him tomorrow, after they reached Shen Mi¡¯s building. Shen Mi smiled as well, and he thanked Song Yu right before he left.


    Yue Zhishi once again sneaked into Song Yu¡¯s room once they got home. He was already very familiar with what he needed to do to get in ¡ª he only needed an excuse of either bringing in fruit or milk to get in the door, and then he¡¯d laze around for a bit while Song Yu wasn¡¯t paying attention. He¡¯d stay until Song Yu realised he was still there and kicked him out.


    He felt like Song Yu¡¯s reflexes were actually very slow. He could be like Cotton Candy and nest in his room, undiscovered.


    Song Yu lay on his bean bag, his hand holding a book. Yue Zhishi came in holding a bowl of grapes and then sat down next to him, bending over very naturally without a single thought. ¡°Gege, let¡¯s play some games.¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t Shen Mi also really good at it?¡± Song Yu flipped a page, voice lightly drifting over.


    Yue Zhishi frowned. ¡°But I want to be team up with you.¡±


    ¡°He should be waiting online for you right now.¡±


    He really wasn¡¯t able to understand Song Yu¡¯s attitude. Song Yu had never once cared so much about one of his classmates before ¡ª he¡¯d even called Jiang Yufan as Jiang Yifan for a time. But every time he bumped into Shen Mi, Song Yu would say things he would normally never say, would act in baffling and inexplicable ways.


    Yue Zhishi put down his phone, staring at Song Yu. ¡°Why do you keep bringing up Shen Mi?¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s appearance looked utterly peaceful and calm, full of patience and tolerance. ¡°No reason. I just think he¡¯s not bad.¡±


    ¡°And?¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s phone screen lit up. He unlocked it again and returned back to the homepage of that game.


    Song Yu said he had nothing else to say, but he opened his mouth again after only a short amount of time, his voice extremely casual. ¡°Can Shen Mi dunk?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± Yue Zhishi changed the clothes on his in-game character to the blue colour Song Yu liked; he¡¯d specifically bought the outfit. ¡°He¡¯s our class¡¯s small forward.¡±


    Song Yu said, ¡°Mn,¡± and then flipped another page of the book he hadn¡¯t been able to read at all. He flatly listed out a bunch of Shen Mi¡¯s good points. ¡°He can play basketball and can play games. He¡¯s very open and cheerful and knows how to speak. He¡¯s tall as well.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not short either.¡± Yue Zhsihi immediately placed his legs on top of Song Yu¡¯s legs once he heard his words. ¡°I¡¯m 180cm already, look at how long my legs are.¡±


    ¡°Minus one centimetre, right.¡± Song Yu glanced at home, purposefully pretending to remove Yue Zhishi¡¯s leg in disdain. ¡°I¡¯ve seen your college entrance physical examination report.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s already been over a month, I should have grown one centimetre by now.¡± Yue Zhishi was a bit dissatisfied. ¡°Besides, I¡¯m open and cheerful too. I might not be able to play basketball or games as well as he can, but I¡­¡±


    Song Yu turned his face over, looking at Yue Zhishi. ¡°You what?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m good-looking.¡± Yue Zhishi felt embarrassed after he said it and lowered his head to stuff a grape in his mouth ¡ª but he ended up wrinkling his entire face by the sourness. ¡°These grapes are terrible, we can¡¯t eat them.¡±


    Song Yu stiffened the corners of his mouth, keeping the calm and distant look on his face, and met Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes. ¡°Then do you think Shen Mi¡¯s good-looking?¡±


    The tart and biting taste of the grapes still remained in his mouth, and that immature flavour continued to affect Yue Zhishi¡¯s brain. He stared at Song Yu without moving, as if he wanted to read something from his face.


    The room was very quiet. Song Yu¡¯s phone suddenly rang, someone unknown calling. He lowered his head, giving it a glance ¡ª a pale and slender hand appeared in his field of vision, grabbing away Song Yu¡¯s phone and muting it.


    Song Yu raised his head, wanting to say something, but Yue Zhishi was one step ahead. His carefully planned and deliberately enigmatic and sarcastic words seemed to have entered Yue Zhishi¡¯s ears and turned into something completely different, going in a direction Song Yu had not expected.


    ¡°I think he¡¯s not as good-looking as I am.¡± If these words had come out of someone else¡¯s mouth, they may have been overly confident ¡ª but Yue Zhishi had always been this candid. This time, Yue Zhishi ¡ª who was usually hard to anger ¡ª sounded a bit irritated and held onto Song Yu¡¯s phone without intending to return it.


    ¡°If you don¡¯t agree with me, then I have reason to doubt your sense of beauty.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    System prompt: Player Song Yu has launched his [Enigmatic, Sarcastic] attack, accidentally triggering the [Sweet and Sour Cheese] cutscene.


    Shen Mi: I¡¯m Truly just a tool


    Mom doesn¡¯t understand. Read carefully, mom also doesn¡¯t understand why Shen Mi is like someone else entirely when faced with gege. She only thinks Shen Mi treats Le Le well, and that he has a friend¡¯s sense of possessiveness.

 CH 51

    Chapter 51: Exclusive Favouritism


    Song Yu stared at Yue Zhishi. He initially managed to keep a straight face, but he suddenly started to chuckle.


    ¡°Why are you laughing?¡± Yue Zhishi caught and shook Song Yu¡¯s shoulder twice, but Song Yu started laughing even harder. His amusement was different from usual ¡ª rather than just the corners of his mouth curling, his eyes curved too, and his entire person became livelier, more vibrant. The more Yue Zhishi told him not to laugh, the harder it was for Song Yu to hold back, and he eventually fell to the side.


    ¡°Honestly, what are you laughing about? What¡¯s so funny?¡±


    But not only did Yue Zhishi not manage to get an answer, it was like he was infected as well, and he also inexplicably started to laugh, collapsing onto Song Yu¡¯s body. After they slightly calmed down, he again ordered Song Yu to not laugh; he also remembered his earlier question. ¡°You¡¯re so unserious. You can¡¯t actually think he¡¯s better looking than I am, right?¡±


    The amusement on Song Yu¡¯s face had still yet to fully fade away. ¡°I think your brain¡¯s different from normal people¡¯s brains.¡±


    ¡°How come you¡¯re doing personal attacks again?¡± Yue Zhishi pulled at Song Yu¡¯s clothes and used his phone like a small gavel to pound Song Yu¡¯s leg. ¡°Silence. Do you have any objections to my opinion?¡±


    ¡°No objections. Is that okay, little judge?¡±


    Song Yu gave him a look, his face appearing warmer and gentler after laughing.


    Yue Zhishi somehow said okay, and then afterwards, thought he had been a bit silly.


    He abruptly realised it had been a very long time since Song Yu had laughed like that. He searched through his memories, and it was very hard for Yue Zhishi to find a similar scene. In front of him, gege forever seemed to be a precision machine with a fixed program, carrying out orders unlikely to be wrong and forever doing the correct things.


    Suddenly, Yue Zhishi sat straight and gazed at Song Yu¡¯s pair of dark eyes.


    ¡°Gege, you look the best when you¡¯re laughing.¡±


    Song Yu froze, but he didn¡¯t stay still for too long before he moved his eyes away. He even took away his phone in Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand, the laughter on his face already completely disappeared. He once again returned to the quiet, taciturn Song Yu.


    The screen of his phone lit up, showing Qin Yan¡¯s missed call.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to make a phone call.¡±


    After Song Yu got up and left, Yue Zhishi shifted and moved to rest against the bean bag Song Yu had just been on ¡ª gege¡¯s warmth still lingered on it. He replayed the last few minutes in his mind and felt he must¡¯ve been thinking too much, causing Song Yu to laugh at him.


    But he also hoped Song Yu could laugh more, just like then ¡ª it was fine even if he was making fun of him.


    Time disappeared in a flash. Yue Zhishi was very happy when he received his letter of admission, and he was even happier to learn a few of his friends also got into the same university as him. Jiang Yufan¡¯s exam score may have been a bit low, but he had applied for an unpopular major and successfully entered Wuhan U to become Yue Zhishi¡¯s schoolmate.


    What surprised Yue Zhishi the most was that on the day he went to Wuhan U for his first day, he found out Jiang Yufan had become his dorm mate.


    ¡°My major just so happened to have me as an extra person, so I need to live with other majors.¡± Jiang Yufan was so happy he was beaming with joy. ¡°At first I was a bit annoyed since this place is so far from my faculty building, but I didn¡¯t expect to live with you ¡ª the heavens must¡¯ve been touched by our strong friendship!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re right.¡± Yue Zhishi was also very happy and pulled him out to eat some KFC together even though he pretty much couldn¡¯t eat any of it. He was only able to eat some ice cream.


    His one and only regret was that this initial start of the term just so happened to coincide with Song Yu needing to do some fieldwork in the mountains. Song Yu wasn¡¯t able to take Yue Zhishi to the university, and he was also unable to teach Yue Zhishi each and every road in Wuhan U like how Yue Zhishi had previously requested.


    ¡°I hear Shen Mi also got into the law faculty?¡± Jiang Yufan took a sip of peach oolong tea. ¡°He¡¯s pretty awesome. He was able to transfer directly into your class 10 despite it being difficult to transfer classes in Peiya, and now he¡¯s also in the same faculty as you.¡±


    ¡°But we¡¯re not in the same major.¡± The sundae was overly sweet, and Yue Zhishi also took a sip of his drink to cleanse his mouth. ¡°He helped move a lot of my luggage when we first started school, and that¡¯s when I found out he actually lived in the next building.¡±


    Jiang Yufan couldn¡¯t help but emotionally sigh. ¡°What a loyal friend. Auntie must definitely have stuffed a bunch of stuff into your luggage. Is there anything delicious? Give me some.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, there is. Aunt Rong¡¯s already packaged everything for me ¡ª there¡¯s your portion, Shen Mi¡¯s and my other dorm mates¡¯ portions. But she doesn¡¯t know you already own one of my dorm mate portions, so I have an extra pack. I¡¯m planning on giving it to Qin Yan gege.¡±


    ¡°Ah, that¡¯s right, senior Qin Yan is also here as a gifted student.¡± Having eaten his fill, Jiang Yufan leaned back against the chair and stretched. ¡°It¡¯s so good to have everyone together in the end.¡±


    Military training started the third day after reporting to school. This city¡¯s summer was always extremely hot ¡ª people standing underneath the sun were pretty much walking pieces of butter, feeling as if they could completely melt at any point in time. This kind of heat was different from merely sitting in the sun: the Yangtze River ran through this city, and the many lakes made for a humid climate. The city was like a natural food steamer once summer arrived ¡ª it was like stepping into a sauna as soon as people went out, let alone all the new students who needed to wear their military training uniforms.


    Every day Yue Zhishi went back to his dorm, he felt like he¡¯d lost a layer of skin. He was pretty much able to immediately fall asleep as soon as he cleaned up and got into bed, but he always tried his hardest to resist falling asleep. He sent messages to the far away Song Yu, sharing his new student life with him.


    The mountains didn¡¯t have good reception, so it was very rare for Song Yu to be able to see his messages as soon as they were sent. There was always a lag in their communication ¡ª Yue Zhishi would silently send out his messages, and after a bit of buffer time, he¡¯d receive a few responses.


    It was like there was no way to get rid of these difficult to avoid delays.


    Because of Yue Zhishi¡¯s distinctive features, he was always noticed by either his female fellow schoolmates or their drillmasters during their military training. The drillmasters always liked to joke with the students with especially strict facial expressions or voices, and Yue Zhishi would frequently be pulled out as an example.


    ¡°You¡¯re too pale, you¡¯ll look more like a man once you get a tan.¡±


    That was something a drillmaster said, and Yue Zhishi thought he was being serious ¡ª so on the second day of military training, he didn¡¯t follow Aunt Rong¡¯s instructions to put on sunscreen. He didn¡¯t expect to lose a layer of skin on his nose after just one day.


    Once he returned back to his dorm, Yue Zhishi took a video and showed Song Yu his peeling nose. ¡°Gege, look, don¡¯t I look like an onion.¡±


    It was already noon the next day when he received Song Yu¡¯s reply. He was on his way to pick up a delivery after eating lunch, and he hurriedly replied to Song Yu¡¯s message. Song Yu had seemed a bit angry at him not having put on sunscreen.


    Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t had much of an appetite when he was eating lunch earlier, so he hadn¡¯t eaten much. The weather was honestly too hot, and his eyes started to blur as he gazed at his screen. He started to feel dizzy, and he¡¯d only just sent out two short messages when he could no longer steadily stand. It was hard for him to breathe, and he felt nauseous.


    His body had always been weak. Yue Zhishi was very sensitive to any uncomfortable reactions in his body, so he wanted to look for a place where he could sit. He¡¯d only taken two steps when his vision went black.


    He heard a very warm and gentle voice, a pair of hands holding his arms. ¡°Fellow student, are you okay?¡±


    His vision recovered slightly. A beautiful, tall and slim girl with black wavy hair stood in front of him, wearing a baby blue dress. She looked worried. ¡°Are you suffering from a heat exhaustion? There¡¯s so much sweat on your forehead, let me help you find a place to rest.¡±


    Yue Zhishi said thank you very softly. She was visibly much more familiar with this area and brought him directly away from the little garden to a convenience store with air-conditioning. Yue Zhishi felt much more comfortable after he went inside.


    ¡°Sit here for a bit.¡± She escorted Yue Zhishi to the bar counter. ¡°I¡¯ll be back very soon.¡±


    Worried his asthma would act up, Yue Zhishi looked for his inhaler in his bag and pulled it out in case he needed to use it. He then held his phone and finished sending his messages to Song Yu.


    That girl came back very quickly, her hand carrying a small bag, and went to the entrance of the convenience store to buy a bottle of water. She walked to Yue Zhishi, giving the bottle to him after opening it. ¡°Drink some water first.¡±


    The plastic bag rustled as she opened it. ¡°I bought some Huoxiang Zhengqi liquid and cooling patches for you.¡± She pulled open a patch and very naturally tugged off the cap on Yue Zhishi¡¯s head to stick it onto his forehead.


    ¡°I can do it myself.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, it¡¯s already on.¡± The girl also opened a bottle of the Huoxiang Zhengqi liquid. ¡°Students suffer from heat exhaustion every year. This isn¡¯t something minor ¡ª you¡¯ll still feel dizzy if you suffer from minor heat exhaustion, but a serious case can give you stomach flu. You¡¯ll need to be sent to the hospital if you end up developing heat stroke.¡±


    Yue Zhishi could tell: ¡°Are you a senior sister?¡±


    She chuckled very gently. ¡°Is it that easy to tell I¡¯m older than you?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Yue Zhishi immediately explained, ¡°I just feel like you¡¯re really familiar with this place, and it also doesn¡¯t look like it¡¯s your first time seeing someone suffering from heat exhaustion.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re right, I¡¯m in third year. I used to be the manager of my faculty¡¯s basketball team, and many team members would often get symptoms during training.¡± She introduced herself graciously. ¡°I¡¯m Nan Jia, in the law faculty. What about you?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was a bit astonished ¡ª who would have expected something so coincidental. ¡°Me too.¡±


    ¡°Then we¡¯re faculty senior sister and junior brother? How lucky.¡± Nan Jia also found it very miraculous. ¡°In that case, we might end up seeing each often in the future. You can look for me if you need help with anything, no need to be shy.¡±


    Nan Jia suggested for him to get up and walk around after he sat there for a while and brought out a little electric fan for him from the bag. ¡°Use this, and don¡¯t wear your cap for a bit.¡± Hearing that Yue Zhishi needed to pick up a delivery, Nan Jia brought him along a shorter way, and the two of them went back to the law faculty building on their way. Yue Zhishi kept expressing his gratitude as they walked, but Nan Jia said he didn¡¯t need to worry about it.


    ¡°I have a little brother too, and he¡¯s about the same age as you. He¡¯s studying in a different province, and I think of him whenever I look at you.¡± Nan Jia smiled again after she finished speaking. ¡°Of course, he¡¯s not as handsome as you.¡±


    At the dormitory building, they bumped into Jiang Yufan who¡¯d come downstairs to buy some drinks, and he was particularly agitated at seeing Nan Jia. He ran over, grabbing Yue Zhishi, as soon as she left. ¡°Hey, how did you end up walking with the law faculty flower!¡±


    ¡°Faculty flower?¡± Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t understand. ¡°You mean senior Nan Jia?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, you didn¡¯t know? She was in charge of the volunteers when all of us new students came to report, and she even gave me directions at that time.¡± Jiang Yufan¡¯s face was full of excitement. ¡°The second year senior brother who picked me up said she was the law faculty flower, beautiful and kind, with many people chasing her.¡±


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but ridicule him. ¡°Don¡¯t forget you¡¯re someone who has a girlfriend.¡±


    ¡°Understood. I just instinctively appreciate beauty, and obviously the person I like the most is my Xiao Ya.¡± Jiang Yufan looked Yue Zhishi up and down, and seeing the cooling patch on his forehead, he said, ¡°What¡¯s wrong with you? Are you sick? You can¡¯t be allergic to something, are you!¡±


    Yue Zhishi was afraid he¡¯d make a big fuss, so he explained as they went upstairs together, conveniently also telling him about how he met Nan Jia.


    ¡°As expected, it must be nice to be a handsome guy. You even meet faculty flowers randomly.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean, you¡¯ll meet nice people too if you end up suffering from heat exhaustion.¡±


    Jiang Yufan helped Yue Zhishi ask for leave from the afternoon military training session. Since Yue Zhishi had a special body constitution and had a history of asthma, the drillmaster didn¡¯t dare be careless ¡ª he allowed Yue Zhishi to rest in his dorm for the afternoon.


    And even though his dorm mates urged him to not continue attending the military training, Yue Zhishi still stubbornly returned the next day. To a certain extent, he was very stubborn and committed seriously to anything he did.


    There were less than four days to their military training performance, and he was chosen to be a flag bearer by the battalion commander. He didn¡¯t dare relax at all.


    There weren¡¯t many flag bearers ¡ª they were all students with honest features and well proportioned figures chosen by their various faculties, and they were in charge of escorting the country flag at the beginning of the performance. To Yue Zhishi, this was something very glorious; the thing he regretted the most during high school was not being able to be in charge of raising the flag. He hadn¡¯t done well when the school had selected the flag raisers, and his raised flag had swished downwards, covering up his entire person.


    And so he had lost such a glorious opportunity.


    In order to not make a single mistake this time, he constantly stayed back after they were dismissed to do some solo training. He goose-stepped around the sports ground as many people watched on, but Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t care about other people¡¯s gazes.


    The day of the military training performance, Qin Yan also appeared on the dais in his role as the president of the literature and arts student society. Yue Zhishi initially didn¡¯t notice him until he passed the dais carrying his class banner. He heard a familiar voice, and only then did he realise Qin Yan was the broadcaster ¡ª but he was locked in his goose-steps and had no way of turning back to see.


    After they were dismissed, every faculty¡¯s flag bearer was given fresh flowers from girls except for Yue Zhishi. The law faculty didn¡¯t have any precedent of arranging for flower delivery.


    But Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t disappointed at this, because he felt like holding a bouquet of flowers was something a bit awkward.


    Once the performance was over, the drillmasters took all of them and left the stadium. Yue Zhishi¡¯s phone rang with a call from Qin Yan.


    ¡°Le Le? Wait for me at the stadium entrance.¡±


    Ten minutes passed, and Qin Yan finally arrived after two girls came together and left after hitting on Yue Zhishi. Qin Yan was holding a bunch of sunflowers, and Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t understand what they were for.


    ¡°Take them.¡±


    Yue Zhishi found it very strange ¡ª he¡¯d never been given flowers by a guy before. ¡°There¡¯s no need.¡±


    ¡°Just look at how unwilling your face is.¡± Qin Yan couldn¡¯t hold back his laughter. He told him the truth. ¡°These are from your brother. He told me to give them to you during your performance since he¡¯s still in the mountains.¡±


    ¡°My ge bought these?¡± Yue Zhishi immediately took the flowers from Qin Yan¡¯s hands. The black paper packaging held eleven sunflowers just in bloom, the flowers the size of his palms. Every single one of them was carefully chosen, pulsating with life, and a black card was stuck right in the middle of the bouquet. It held a typed message with no signature.


    [Congratulations on successfully completing your military performance, little flag bearer.]


    It didn¡¯t feel like Song Yu¡¯s style to send flowers, but sending a message did. He flipped over the card. An introduction to the flowers was typed on it, and the name of this particular breed was very special ¡ª they were called earthwalkers.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know why he chose these flowers, what¡¯s wrong with roses? People usually give roses or lilies since they look nice. Sure enough, a person like Song Yu who¡¯s been single since he was born has tastes like a straight man.¡±


    Head lowered, Yue Zhishi stared at that card, a subtle suspicion growing in his heart. Maybe he was thinking too much, but maybe this was also another one of Song Yu¡¯s riddles.


    Perhaps Song Yu¡¯s signature was the name of the flowers ¡ª he was someone wandering around the earth, an earthwalker.


    Yue Zhishi felt a deep sense of satisfaction at getting something with a meaning so hidden underneath the surface, something only the two of them would understand ¡ª as if he really was different from everyone else, as if he really was someone special.


    Seeing him stand in place in a daze, Qin Yan placed his hands in his pockets and said, ¡°Come, I¡¯ll take you to get some food.¡±


    ¡°Ah?¡± Yue Zhishi hugged his flowers. ¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯s good idea going like this.¡±


    ¡°What, are you afraid of people misunderstanding?¡± Qin Yan laughed. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, my girlfriend will be there too. Let me take you to meet your sister-in-law.¡±


    Yue Zhishi held an instinctive natural opposition to the word sister-in-law after his childhood blunder, so he didn¡¯t make a single noise and only followed behind Qin Yan. He passed by a flower shop on the way, and he bought a clear and glittering crystal vase. They went back to his dorm before they went to eat, and Yue Zhishi placed the sunflowers neatly into the vase, changing his clothes before he went back down.


    Qin Yan brought him to a little diner near campus. It wasn¡¯t very large, but it was extraordinarily busy. His cute, short-haired girlfriend had lined up and gotten in early, and she matched very well with Qin Yan.


    ¡°I feel like everyone suddenly got a girlfriend,¡± Yue Zhishi said without thinking.


    ¡°Yeah, so when are you getting one.¡± Qin Yan ordered, and even though Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t speak, all of the things he ordered were food Yue Zhishi could eat. Qin Yan¡¯s girlfriend took out her phone, a forum post appearing on the screen. She said, ¡°Don¡¯t worry, your junior brother has pretty much harvested a bunch of female hearts over this military training. It¡¯s comparable to three years ago¡­¡±


    ¡°The Song Yu from three years ago,¡± Qin Yan very tacitly continued, and then he told his own girlfriend, ¡°The two of them during high school were so very eye-catching.¡±


    A big bowl of sliced fish in chili oil was brought up, a bunch of bean sprouts and kelp laid at the bottom. Fillets of catfish filled the top, the soup red and the fish white, and a layer of chives and sesame seeds was sprinkled on top. The lady boss came over as well, her hand holding an iron ladle full of hot oil. She poured the oil over the bowl, and the fragrance wafted to everyone¡¯s faces.


    ¡°We weren¡¯t that eye-catching.¡± Yue Zhishi poured and sent over cups of hawthorn juice. He thought of something, and so he asked Qin Yan, ¡°I keep seeing clubs advertising for new members lately. Is the basketball team also looking for new people?¡±


    Qin Yan gave a meaty and tender piece of fish to his girlfriend. ¡°You asked the right person. I¡¯m the vice captain of the university team and am in charge of recruiting new people. I¡¯ve been trying to get more people ¡ª I interviewed a bunch of people just yesterday. You want to join too?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± But Yue Zhishi knew himself very well: ¡°My body¡¯s not as strong as other people¡¯s, so I might not be able to get into the main team.¡±


    ¡°You can train with your faculty team first. If you really want to join, you can. It¡¯s just that you temporarily might not be able to actually play in a competition.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve already signed up to the faculty team. They said they¡¯ll give us training and that I don¡¯t have to worry if I don¡¯t play well.¡± He even specifically went to look for senior Nan Jia in order to enter the faculty team ¡ª even though she was no longer in the team, she still managed to take him directly over. Everything went very smoothly.


    That day, Nan Jia had sent him a bunch of information about the faculty and university teams, as well as information about training. She hadn¡¯t chatted much, and this let Yue Zhishi feel she was warm-hearted, yet tactful.


    Qin Yan nodded in agreement. ¡°That¡¯s true. You¡¯ll be able to gain some popularity as well. You can play for just half a session if your physical abilities aren¡¯t enough. The only thing is your brother might not agree, just in case something happens.¡±


    Yue Zhishi silently said in his heart, he wanted to join the university team specifically because of Song Yu.


    ¡°Gege should be the main force in the university team, right?¡±


    ¡°What else. A lot more people watch too if he¡¯s playing,¡± Qin Yan said, producing a long sigh after he finished talking.


    Yue Zhishi was a bit confused and asked in concern, ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°A while ago, I told him to come back earlier for training, but he told me he wanted to drop out. He said he¡¯s too busy and doesn¡¯t have the time to compete anymore.¡± Qin Yan poured a spoonful of soup onto his rice and mixed everything together. ¡°If he really does drop out, we¡¯ll lose a great general. I don¡¯t know if we¡¯ll be able to find someone reliable.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was suddenly disappointed at hearing this ¡ª he¡¯d wanted to enter the basketball team from the moment he¡¯d signed up to the university. He¡¯d even planned to enter the faculty team first before slowly expanding into the main team. He didn¡¯t think Song Yu would quit. But now that he¡¯d already signed up and had even troubled his senior sister, it might be too much to drop out of the team now too.


    Wuhan U was still very lively at night, and after he separated from Qin Yan, Yue Zhishi slowly walked back to his dorm. Each day Song Yu didn¡¯t return, each day he felt this place didn¡¯t seem like Wuhan U at all ¡ª it felt very foreign. He was already used to going to the library whenever he was by himself, and he read textbooks about his major just like before, when he had yet to start school.


    He returned back to his dorm at 10pm. Yue Zhishi noticed a bunch of food placed on his desk, many of them snacks he would usually buy. Jiang Yufan was up in his bed, video chatting with his girlfriend, and he dragged open his bed curtain, pulling out an ear bud. ¡°Shen Mi was just here. He bought you a bunch of fruit and snacks, and even bought us milk tea. What a good friend.¡±


    ¡°He left already?¡± Yue Zhishi sat down. He¡¯d eaten too much during dinner and wasn¡¯t able to eat any of the snacks, simply touching the sunflower petals.


    ¡°Mn, he waited for you for a bit, and then he left since you weren¡¯t back yet.¡±


    Yue Zhishi said okay and also said he¡¯ll visit his dorm tomorrow, before he went into the bathroom. When he came out, he saw his phone on his desk light up and saw a message from Song Yu after he went over to have a look.


    [Gege: I¡¯ll be back tomorrow.]


    Just a second ago he was like a frosted eggplant ¡ª and at this very second, Yue Zhishi immediately came back to life.


    [Yue Zhishi: Really? I¡¯ll pick you up tomorrow, where are you guys getting off the car?]


    He mutely read his reply again after he sent it out, realising he truly was very impatient to see Song Yu.


    [Gege: We¡¯ll be dropped off directly at the school entrance, no need for you to come.]


    Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t satisfied with this ¡ª he still wanted to see him. No matter what time it was, as long as it was to see Song Yu, he would never find it troublesome. But he¡¯d only typed up half of his message expressing his disagreement when he received a new message from Song Yu. It was like a patch coming in just in time.


    [Gege: I¡¯ll look for you.]


    The corners of his mouth rose at once. This patch successfully managed to cover up the small hole in Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart.


    ¡°Le Le, what are you looking at that¡¯s making you so happy?¡± A dorm mate looked at Yue Zhishi as he came in with a washbasin. ¡°Are you grabbing red pockets?¡±


    ¡°Nope.¡± His voice unconsciously lilted up in happiness in his reply. Once he sat back down, Yue Zhishi saw the sunflowers on his desk and thought for a bit, before he took a photo. He shared it on his Moments without any text.


    He only realised he forgot to set who could see the photo after he submitted it; this update accidentally entered his public Moments. He wasn¡¯t able to delete it before someone noticed it.


    Shen Mi was the first person to give it a like. He even commented twice.


    [Shen Mi: Yo, who gave you this?]


    [Shen Mi: Did you see the snacks I bought for you?]


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t reply to his first comment, because he felt Song Yu wouldn¡¯t want others to know he gifted someone flowers ¡ª this was something truly unusual for Song Yu, and it might destroy his public image. So Yue Zhishi responded only to Shen Mi¡¯s second question, telling him he was really thankful. This particular update very quickly gained a bunch of likes, including from Qin Yan and senior Nan Jia.


    The last person to like the photo was Song Yu. Seeing the like notification, Yue Zhishi thought Song Yu wouldn¡¯t comment; it wouldn¡¯t be his usual behaviour. But a few seconds later, he received a new notification from Song Yu¡¯s comment.


    [Gege: I was even thinking you wouldn¡¯t show off what I gave you.]


    Yue Zhishi was very surprised. He even swiped out and entered the app again before he read the comment once again ¡ª the comment truly was from Song Yu.


    This curious and rare comment naturally pulled in Qin Yan, who liked to make a fuss and watch.


    [Senior Qin Yan replied to gege: have you been possessed? (it was already very strange to deliver flowers, but this handsome man still helped out free of charge)]


    Qin Yan wasn¡¯t friends with Shen Mi, so Shen Mi wouldn¡¯t be able to see this comment. Thinking Song Yu wouldn¡¯t reply, Yue Zhishi put down his phone, spraying his earthwalkers with some water.


    Unexpectedly, Song Yu actually responded.


    [Gege: What¡¯s so strange about it, don¡¯t all the other flag bearers receive flowers from their faculties.]


    [Gege: For the sake of fairness, it can¡¯t be just my flag bearer who doesn¡¯t receive flowers.]

 CH 52

    Chapter 52: A New Gift


    Lin Rong was always joking, saying she didn¡¯t know who Song Yu resembled. She always said this child¡¯s heart was harder than a rock ¡ª it wouldn¡¯t move even if it was poked, and it wouldn¡¯t react even if it was knocked.


    Stone-hearted Song Yu always appeared to be satisfied with what he had, never showing any interest in other people and the outside world. He never expressed his emotions and never showed his thoughts, and Yue Zhishi thought he liked living hidden away like that ¡ª he truly was like a buried piece of rock.


    So whenever he expressed anything, it looked visibly, particularly out of place.


    In the darkened dorm room, Yue Zhishi again and again turned on his phone, clicked into that Moments update, looked at it and closed his phone. These meaningless and repetitive actions weren¡¯t able to dispel the pleasure boiling over in his heart, and he had no way to peacefully fall asleep.


    His intellect weakened under his pleasure, and so Yue Zhishi no longer thought about why Song Yu acted so differently, forcing himself to close his eyes and sleep while he hugged this fickle happiness.


    Song Yu came back from his field operations on the day Yue Zhishi needed to attend the tryouts for the basketball main team. He initially hadn¡¯t had any confidence, but Qin Yan pulled at him, saying he may as well try it out and it was fine even if he didn¡¯t get in. He¡¯d agreed, and one hour before he needed to meet Qin Yan in front of the university gym, he received Song Yu¡¯s phone call.


    ¡°I¡¯m almost at your faculty.¡± Song Yu asked where he was.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t say anything further, running directly to look for his gege. It was a very sunny day, the shadows of the trees interlacing with bright spots of sunshine, and Yue Zhishi was wearing a white, yellow-trimmed basketball jersey. He ran past some girls carrying parasols, a breeze following behind him.


    Song Yu stood next to the clear glass doors inside the ground floor of a classroom building. He was looking at his phone, head half lowered, and there were clearly people going to and fro ¡ª and yet it was like he was surrounded by an aura naturally isolating him from the rest of the world. Yue Zhishi saw him as soon as he arrived.


    He pushed open the door and went in. The aircon was turned on very highly, and he was unable to stop himself from shuddering from the sudden change in temperature. He happened to be seen just as Song Yu raised his head, and affection very clearly entered Song Yu¡¯s indifferent eyes as he walked towards Yue Zhishi from the pillar in the hall.


    ¡°How come you¡¯re dressed like this?¡± Song Yu looked at his jersey. Yue Zhishi¡¯s collarbones and arms were both exposed, and with a white coloured jersey, his innately pale skin made him look like a little porcelain man once he stood underneath the sun.


    ¡°I need to go the gym in a bit, Qin Yan gege said he¡¯s taking me to the tryouts.¡± Afraid Song Yu would laugh at him, Yue Zhishi decided to attack himself first. ¡°I know I definitely won¡¯t be chosen, I just want to go have a look.¡±


    Once he was closer, he smelled a light lemon fragrance from Song Yu¡¯s body. It was the fragrance of his usual shower gel, and he realised Song Yu was wearing a loose white t-shirt without any decorations on it. He wasn¡¯t wearing a backpack, his hair loose and relaxed, and he looked almost lazy. He didn¡¯t look tired or worn out from coming back from his outside field operations at all.


    ¡°It¡¯ll be very dangerous for your body to compete,¡± Song Yu still decided to say.


    Yue Zhishi said, changing the conversation topic, ¡°Did you shower after coming back?¡±


    Song Yu paused, saying after a long while, ¡°Mn.¡± His facial expression looked a bit awkward. ¡°I feel more comfortable after showering.¡±


    ¡°You smell really nice.¡± Yue Zhishi took a step closer. ¡°I especially like the smell of this shower gel. It¡¯s a bit like that boyfriend cologne my previous high school desk mate gave me to smell.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s unexpected statements frequently interrupted the rhythm of Song Yu¡¯s talking. Sometimes, he needed to bring the rhythm back himself.


    He first said Yue Zhishi could buy the same one if he liked it, and then he lowered his head, stretching his hand into his pant pocket. ¡°I picked up something this time.¡± He spoke very casually, as if he¡¯d picked up a useless ball of paper or empty drink bottle that no one wanted. But when his hand finally came out of his pocket, Yue Zhishi realised ¡ª it was a very striking piece of stone. The surface was black, and it looked a bit like a piece of coal despite Yue Zhishi not having seen a real piece of coal before.


    He carefully picked up the stone resting in Song Yu¡¯s hand. It wasn¡¯t a large piece at all, only about the size of a mangosteen, and it looked a bit strange. The outer layer was black, and Yue Zhishi only noticed one side had been sliced after turning the stone around. Lustrous and beautiful blue-coloured stone could be seen from the cut, dark-coloured lines crisscrossed on top.


    ¡°What¡¯s this? It¡¯s so pretty!¡± Yue Zhishi raised his head to look at him, his amber eyes glowing.


    Song Yu pulled out a transparent little bag. It held a very thinly sliced stone specimen, and a label was stuck onto the bag. ¡®Turquoise¡¯ was written on the label, as well as the time and place it was found.


    ¡°The mountain area we went to seemed to produce these kinds of stones. I just happened to see them during our field operations, so I picked up a piece and cut off a fragment as a specimen. I don¡¯t need the leftover stone, so I can give it to you, if you want it.¡±


    He continued to sound as if this didn¡¯t matter to him at all, but Yue Zhishi was extremely happy. ¡°Of course I want it!¡± His gaze shifted from the stone to Song Yu¡¯s face. ¡°Did everyone find some too?¡±


    Song Yu moved his eyes away. ¡°Not really.¡± Just him.


    ¡°That¡¯s what I thought.¡± Yue Zhishi stared at his gift. ¡°This looks so dark and dirty, it must¡¯ve been really hard to recognise in the mountains. You¡¯re so amazing.¡±


    His praises were always without any reservations.


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing special. It¡¯s just because I¡¯ve studied a bit about it.¡±


    ¡°Are you giving this whole piece to me?¡± Yue Zhishi held onto the stone, looking towards him. ¡°The entire piece?¡±


    Song Yu nodded and shook the specimen bag in his hand. ¡°I just need a small fragment, everything else is yours.¡±


    ¡°And in the future? You might continue finding many special little stones in the future, can you give them all to me too?¡± It was habit for Yue Zhishi to reach out a hand and touch Song Yu¡¯s wrist whenever he started feeling anxious. His hand was very hot, Song Yu¡¯s skin cool, and it wasn¡¯t only their body temperatures that were transmitted across this touch ¡ª but also many vague and indistinct feelings.


    ¡°My job isn¡¯t to find stones. This was just a coincidence.¡± But Song Yu still added, ¡°If I see any, I¡¯ll still bring them back.¡± He glanced at Yue Zhishi. ¡°Why do you want so many stones? Are you going to sell them?¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head. ¡°Of course not, I¡¯m keeping them all for me. This is a memento from an earthwalker.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s face once again looked awkward. He changed the conversation, asking when Yue Zhishi was meant to meet with Qin Yan. Only then did Yue Zhishi startle awake, and he grabbed Song Yu¡¯s hand, looking at the time. ¡°It¡¯s okay, it¡¯s okay, I still have half an hour.¡±


    Song Yu originally said he wanted to go back to his dorm and sleep, but Yue Zhishi said he wanted Song Yu to go with him, to give him some courage ¡ª so Song Yu gave up and agreed to go.


    ¡°But other people don¡¯t know you¡¯re my little brother.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s fine.¡± Yue Zhishi said very innocently, ¡°It¡¯ll be easier for me to get distracted if you¡¯re standing there. I won¡¯t be so nervous.¡±


    It was very hot the entire way to the gym from the classroom building, and Yue Zhishi looked at the girls carrying umbrellas with a touch of envy. ¡°I want an umbrella too.¡±


    Song Yu looked at the pale, almost blinding skin he exposed. ¡°You should¡¯ve worn some sun protection clothing.¡±


    Yue Zhishi slid over his suggestion. ¡°Let me tell you, Jiang Yufan¡¯s always showing off in front of me every day, saying it¡¯s so good to have a girlfriend. He can use her as an excuse to hold up an umbrella and doesn¡¯t need to burn under the sun. He even said his girlfriend¡¯s hand is so small it¡¯s particularly cute ¡ª and that it¡¯s really comfortable to hold.¡±


    Listening to this, Song Yu held up Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand and said, a bit ill-timed: ¡°Yours isn¡¯t large either.¡±


    Yue Zhishi frowned at hearing this, thinking this was a type of mocking. He pulled away his hand. ¡°My hand¡¯s quite large, I can hold a basketball with one hand for ten seconds.¡±


    ¡°Very amazing,¡± Song Yu flatly praised.


    The two of them saw Qin Yan in front of the gymnasium building. He was playing games, squatting on the steps, and looked just like a down to earth youth. Song Yu climbed up the steps, and Qin Yan only lifted his head when Song Yu was standing right in front of him. ¡°Yo, you¡¯re back. You¡¯re here with your brother?¡±


    He looked at Yue Zhishi. ¡°Le Le looks so handsome in that jersey.¡±


    ¡°Am I not allowed to come?¡± Song Yu asked.


    Qin Yan stood up, stretched out his neck and brought the two of them into the building. ¡°No one said that. You scum man may have let me down, but our team will always remember your contributions.¡±


    His words were very funny, and Yue Zhishi took the chance to ask, ¡°Then have you guys seen any suitable new members? Ones who can compare to my ge.¡±


    ¡°Just look at how Le Le phrased his words ¡ª are you trying to say no one is as good as your brother?¡± After teasing him, Qin Yan then seriously said, ¡°We actually did find someone suitable. His physical fitness and innate explosive power are all pretty good, and even though there¡¯s still some space for him to improve his skills, he should luckily have no problems taking care of Song Yu¡¯s empty spot.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded, saying that¡¯s good. He could hear the sounds of basketball shoes squeaking against the floor as he walked in the corridor. Qin Yan pushed open the door, and there were quite a few people inside, the already established team members and new members here for the tryouts split into two separate areas. Qin Yan walked in front, many people greeting him and Song Yu face to face, and Yue Zhishi found it a bit uncomfortable ¡ª it felt like he was walking in, framed between two big bosses, and everyone took the chance to give him a look.


    So he retreated slightly backwards. Qin Yan saw someone and twisted his head over, telling them, ¡°Hey, that¡¯s the new guy I said would replace Song Yu.¡± He then whistled at someone¡¯s back.


    The other person turned around, and Yue Zhishi was a bit astonished. ¡°Shen Mi?¡±


    Shen Mi saw them as well, and he enthusiastically and happily ran over after he threw his ball to someone else. Utter satisfaction covered Qin Yan¡¯s face, and he crossed his arms over his chest, nudging Song Yu¡¯s shoulder with his own. ¡°What do you think? The successor I found for you isn¡¯t too bad, right?¡±


    ¡°I really do have to thank you.¡± Song Yu¡¯s gaze darkened, his tone strange enough for Qin Yan to give him a sideway glance.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong with you? You learn how to mask-change in the mountains?¡±


    Arriving in front of them, Shen Mi warmly greeted them. ¡°Senior Qin Yan, senior Song Yu.¡± And then, smiling at Yue Zhishi, ¡°Le Le, you¡¯re here too.¡±


    ¡°I came to have a look.¡± Yue Zhishi was a bit unconfident, but he still smiled at Shen Mi. ¡°Congratulations, I hear you got into the main team.¡±


    Shen Mi rubbed the hair at the back of his head. ¡°Ah, it was mostly coincidence. Senior Song Yu just so happened to be leaving.¡±


    ¡°Who said I¡¯m leaving?¡± Song Yu raised an eyebrow. ¡°I only said I¡¯m falling back to second string, I don¡¯t have any intention of leaving the team.¡±


    Qin Yan pivoted his head over to him, his eyes as wide as copper bells. ¡°Big bro, are you joking with me.¡±


    ¡°Are you really not dropping out?¡± Yue Zhishi grabbed hold of Song Yu¡¯s arm, unbelievably happy. ¡°Then gege, you¡¯re going to stay in the basketball team? Will it be too hard on you?¡±


    Song Yu was clearly answering Yue Zhishi¡¯s questions, but his eyes flicked over at Shen Mi. ¡°It¡¯s fine to play occasionally.¡±


    Shen Mi didn¡¯t look too disappointed. ¡°That¡¯s really good, I was always regretful that I was never able to learn from senior Song Yu before.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded his head again and again. ¡°My ge really is really good at basketball, you¡¯ll definitely improve if you train with him.¡±


    No matter what, Song Yu not leaving the team was fantastic news to them. Even though Qin Yan felt he had been mercilessly played around with, he still shared this news to the other team members with great enthusiasm.


    ¡°He¡¯s really not leaving! That¡¯s great, that¡¯s great!¡±


    ¡°I was even sad for a bit too.¡±


    ¡°Sad that half the girls won¡¯t be watching anymore?¡±


    ¡°Hahahaha! But how come senior Song Yu suddenly changed his mind?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m curious too!¡±


    Everyone was gossiping when the gym¡¯s inner doors were once again pushed open, and Yue Zhishi looked over. ¡°Eh? Senior Nan Jia?¡±


    Nan Jia¡¯s appearance excited all the guys in the gym, including Qin Yan. Only Song Yu looked at Yue Zhishi. ¡°Are you familiar with her?¡±


    ¡°Ah?¡± Yue Zhishi blinked. ¡°It¡¯s a bit of a long story. Senior Nan Jia helped me out a lot, and she¡¯s a super nice person.¡±


    There wasn¡¯t too high of a risk factor in his evaluation, so Song Yu decided to put it aside for the moment.


    Contrary to usual, Nan Jia wore a slim black tracksuit, her hair tied into a ponytail. She looked full of energy, and she greeted everyone with warmth and enthusiasm. The popularity of a beautiful senior sister in the midst of the all male team went without saying. ¡°You guys must be tired. I bought you guys some milk tea, and the drinks will arrive in a bit.¡±


    ¡°Thank you senior!¡±


    ¡°Senior¡¯s such a good person!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re all very welcome.¡± Nan Jia finally arrived next to Qin Yan, and her eyes were visibly pleasantly surprised when she saw Song Yu. ¡°Didn¡¯t you say you were leaving the team?¡±


    ¡°This little shit keeps changing his mind. He says he¡¯s not leaving,¡± Qin Yan ridiculed.


    Song Yu threw him a look in disdain. Nan Jia then said, ¡°Then that means you¡¯ll be coming back too?¡±


    ¡°Too?¡± Yue Zhishi looked at Nan Jia in doubt, suddenly thinking of that time he¡¯d been hit with heat exhaustion and Nan Jia had carelessly talked about her history of being a manager in the basketball team.


    Qin Yan startled. ¡°Fuck, are you returning back to the main team?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± Nan Jia curved her head down, a very playful expression on her face. ¡°I¡¯ve finished my previous law popularisation volunteer work. I still have time to spare this semester, so I applied to transfer back to the main team as the manager.¡±


    ¡°Wait here, I need to tell everyone about this inspiring piece of news.¡± Qin Yan ran off as soon as he finished speaking, and not much longer after, the entire gym full of guys learned of this news ¡ª they only managed to just hold back from shouting and jumping for joy.


    ¡°Senior, you¡¯re so popular.¡± Yue Zhishi watched that crowd of feverishly excited guys from far away and couldn¡¯t help but sigh with emotion.


    Nan Jia patted Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Le Le, are you participating in the tryouts today? I¡¯ll measure your arm span for you, let me experience the superior proportions of a mixed race person.¡±


    ¡°His legs are super long,¡± Shen Mi couldn¡¯t help but praise.


    ¡°I know you.¡± Nan Jia stretched out her hand in a fist, and the two of them bumped their fists together. ¡°Diamond in the rough. Work hard.¡±


    Yue Zhishi realised every popular person seemed to have a natural affinity for others. Just like Nan Jia ¡ª she could skillfully and easily interact and talk with anyone with sincerity, and her kind of relaxing, soothing personality was entirely suited to be the basketball team¡¯s manager.


    With two good news coming right after another, Qin Yan made a decision there and then. ¡°We¡¯re having a dinner party after the tryouts, no one¡¯s allowed to leave! Two of our great generals have returned to us today, and so many new friends have also joined us ¡ª we need to celebrate!¡±


    As soon as the topic turned to the tryouts, Yue Zhishi¡¯s stomach started to ache; that was how his body reacted to stress whenever he was nervous. He clutched Song Yu¡¯s arm and very quietly whispered: ¡°I¡¯m a bit worried.¡±


    Song Yu lifted his hand and patted Yue Zhishi¡¯s back twice like a kind senior, but he didn¡¯t take his hand back immediately. He left his hand on his shoulder blades as if he was reluctant to move away, stroking a few times very slowly.


    This method of diverting his attention was very effective. In a moment, Yue Zhishi once again smelled the very light shower fragrance on Song Yu¡¯s body, and in this gym full of hormones and sweat, this subtle smell silently wrapped around his entire body ¡ª it was like a transparent barrier, protective and possessive.


    The tryouts went by much faster than he¡¯d imagined. Nan Jia measured their weight, height, arm spans and other kinds of body data, leaving the actual skills tryout to the team captain.


    ¡°I actually didn¡¯t grow,¡± Yue Zhishi grumbled, coming off of the body weight and height scale. He refused to believe it and went back on again ¡ª the numbers remained the same. Nan Jia found him particularly cute. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°I haven¡¯t grown, I¡¯m still one centimetre away from 180cm.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s face was full of bewilderment. ¡°I feel like I have, it¡¯s almost been three months. How come it¡¯s so hard to grow one single centimetre.¡±


    Qin Yan said maybe his bones were already fused together, but Nan Jia interrupted him and said, laughing, ¡°It definitely must be our machine¡¯s fault. I¡¯ll give you 180cm.¡±


    ¡°Aren¡¯t you making a false report then?¡± Qin Yan said loudly on purpose. ¡°Where¡¯s your moral fortitude as a basketball manager.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong with doing so?¡± Nan Jia recorded down the data as she continued to banter. ¡°You have 170cm guys reporting themselves as 175cm, and 180cm guys report themselves as 183cm. If someone actually did get to 185cm, I bet they¡¯d engrave it onto their faces as an admission pass.¡±


    Yue Zhishi laughed in amusement and turned his head around to look at the 186cm Song Yu, who was helping out in the tryouts. He carried the ball through the crowd, going up to the basket with movements as natural and smooth as water and his face clear of any waves. In a crowd of basketball team members, none of whom were short, he completely stood out like a crane among the chickens.


    Everyone left the gym after the tryouts ended. Because of his unique body, Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t able to enter the main team, and Nan Jia kept comforting him the entire way. But Yue Zhishi had already predicted this from a long time ago, and the result matched his predictions entirely ¡ª so he wasn¡¯t all that disappointed.


    Qin Yan, Song Yu and the rest of the old team members walked in front, chatting with the new recruits as they walked out the campus. They wanted to throw a dinner party, and Yue Zhishi, who had failed to be chosen, didn¡¯t actually want to follow along. But with Song Yu there, he still slightly wavered ¡ª and since Qin Yan and Nan Jia had both told him to come along, Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t able to escape.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, Le Le. You can still come to train with the main team.¡± Nan Jia said, ¡°You can come whenever you want, especially since your senior Qin Yan will be there too.¡±


    ¡°Then¡­¡­¡± Yue Zhishi hesitated a bit over his wording. ¡°Will senior Song Yu train too?¡±


    ¡°Him?¡± Nan Jia smiled. ¡°Very rarely. But Song Yu came every day when we were in first year, and he always stayed until he was the last one to leave.¡±


    Yue Zhishi very frankly asked, ¡°How do you know?¡±


    A hint of nostalgia appeared on her face. ¡°I had just started working as the basketball manager at that time. I needed to help out every day with sorting out the basketballs, ordering the jerseys and all kinds of very minor odd jobs. Sometimes the team wouldn¡¯t pack up after training, so I needed to stay behind and clean. I was in the gym every day with a lot of spare time, and sometimes I¡¯d do my homework as I sat in the benches. Song Yu didn¡¯t even know I was there in the beginning ¡ª he¡¯d thought there was no one else in the gym, and he¡¯d practice shooting by himself again and again.¡±


    Nan Jia smiled. ¡°I didn¡¯t understand why he needed to practice so often. His shooting accuracy was already so high. One time, I couldn¡¯t hold back anymore and asked him why he kept shooting as I sat in the benches. It was the first time he saw me, but he didn¡¯t speak to me at all ¡ª he grabbed his clothes and immediately left.¡± Nan Jia looked at Yue Zhishi, her face carrying an emotion she usually didn¡¯t show. It looked a bit like she was cutely whining, and the tone of her voice was very cute. ¡°He was super cold.¡±


    Yue Zhishi wanted to say Song Yu wasn¡¯t someone like that at all, but he faintly felt Nan Jia actually was aware of that ¡ª so he didn¡¯t say anything. An absurd thought suddenly appeared in his mind: he wanted to be that person sitting silently, soundlessly in the benches at that time.


    Socialising expert Qin Yan chose one of their usual barbecue restaurants, its atmosphere very suitable for parties. Nan Jia seemed to abruptly think of something when they reached the entrance of the restaurant. ¡°Oh yes, I saw Song Yu replied to your Moments update yesterday. Your relationship with him¡­¡±


    A guy entered in front of them, and he cared only for himself, not thinking of the people behind him ¡ª the heavy glass door slid backwards, about to close, and Yue Zhishi grabbed the edge of the door. He pulled it open again and let Nan Jia in first. Qin Yan was yelling out her name inside, asking her to pick the tables.


    In the midst of all these things, Nan Jia rushed inside in a hurry and forgot to continue what she was about to ask.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know when Shen Mi first appeared next to him, but his eyes remained only on Song Yu, who seemed to be enclosed by a crowd. A tall and sturdy senior headed towards the two of them and very heavily smacked Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulder, his words brash and like a hooligan. ¡°Hey, they say you¡¯re mixed. What countries are you mixed with?¡±


    Yue Zhishi felt like this guy was a bit impolite, but he still sincerely replied, ¡°My mom¡¯s from England.¡±


    ¡°Oh, England. Ladies like the way you mixed guys look.¡± The senior¡¯s words seemed to be praising him, but his face carried a hint of condescension. ¡°Are you close with Nan Jia? Are you from the law faculty too?¡±


    Seeing Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want to speak, Shen Mi answered for him. ¡°Yes. Senior, are you from the same faculty?¡±


    ¡°Yep, I¡¯m your dear old faculty senior.¡± He stretched out a hand, looking as if he wanted to grasp Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulder, but Shen Mi looked like he had no idea what was happening and stuck himself in between them. He even smiled and said, ¡°Senior, then does that mean I can ask you questions if I have any problems in the future?¡±


    ¡°Sure.¡± The senior glanced at him. He jerked his chin over when he heard the tables were ready. ¡°Let¡¯s go. Law faculty kids should sit together.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t like these kinds of arbitrary commands ¡ª he only wanted to sit together with Song Yu, but it felt like he would look very childish if he directly asked to do so. And besides, this entire affair actually didn¡¯t have much to do with him; he was really only here to freeload some food and didn¡¯t have much right to ask for anything.


    There were too many people, so they needed to be split between two large tables. His momentary hesitation meant he was forcefully brought to one of them, and half the people at the table were from the law faculty, the other half from either the electrical or civil engineering faculties. Luckily, Shen Mi and Nan Jia sat next to him on his left and right sides, or else he might¡¯ve actually ran away.


    After sitting down, Yue Zhishi kept sending messages to Song Yu; he would then lift his head and look in his direction, but Song Yu was being bothered by the guy sitting next to him. The guy kept asking him questions, and it looked like Song Yu didn¡¯t have any time to look at his phone. Yue Zhishi reached into his pocket, clutching the small stone Song Yu gave him.


    Everyone was chatting as they waited for the food to be brought up. A guy suddenly raised his phone in the midst of their conversation. ¡°Hey, someone posted in their Moments saying senior Song Yu came back for sister Nan Jia.¡±


    And then very quickly, all the guys on the table started to hoot, and someone even turned around to the other table, joking with a teammate. Both tables started to make a fuss.


    Shen Mi peeped at Yue Zhishi, thinking he looked calmer than he¡¯d expected.


    Nan Jia, the person in the centre of all the fuss, kept trying to stop their teasing. ¡°That¡¯s not true, can you guys please not spread rumours? Neither of us knew the other was coming back, it was solely a coincidence.¡±


    The first guy to make a fuss started to tease again. ¡°Tsk tsk, already using the word ¡®us¡¯.¡±


    ¡°Can you not take it out of context.¡± Nan Jia severely said, ¡°Seriously, don¡¯t be like this, this has nothing to do with anything. You guys seriously have nothing better to do.¡±


    Right then, Yue Zhishi really wanted to leave. He not only wanted to leave, he even wanted to take Song Yu away.


    The senior who¡¯d make things a bit difficult for Yue Zhishi pressed down the guy who was making a fuss. ¡°Eat your food. I want to see if I can plug up your broken mouth later when the alcohol¡¯s here.¡±


    The aircon was set to a very low temperature, and Nan Jia asked Yue Zhishi if he was cold. During the tryouts, she learned Yue Zhishi had a serious allergy, his body relatively fragile, so she paid particular attention to him. But her actions seemed to really annoy that large and bulky senior.


    The alcohol arrived earlier than the food, and it came over in a large box. Yue Zhishi looked over ¡ª Song Yu was being held by Qin Yan, not saying a single word. He also turned his head over to look in Yue Zhishi¡¯s direction, and their gazes just happened to meet. Both sides were very noisy, and with the two tables separated, neither of them knew what was happening on their respective tables.


    Yue Zhishi mouthed the word ¡®phone¡¯ to him, but Song Yu squinted, looking a bit puzzled.


    Yue Zhishi did it again, exaggerating his lip movements, and looked a bit cute. Song Yu seemed to finally understand, and he lowered his head to look for his cellphone.


    ¡°Okay okay, I¡¯m not going to talk nonsense. Let¡¯s just welcome everyone by having a good drink ¡ª no one¡¯s allowed to escape today.¡± The bulky senior opened a bottle of alcohol one by one, sending the opened ones around. He made it look like everyone was to have their own bottle.


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t drink beer, so he specifically told him, ¡°Senior, I¡¯m allergic to beer. No need to open one for me.¡±


    ¡°Bullshit. Nine out of ten people who say they¡¯re allergic to alcohol are lying.¡± The senior forcefully pushed the bottle in his hand to Yue Zhishi. ¡°Hold it.¡±


    Nan Jia was slightly unhappy. ¡°Wang Zhi, what are you doing. He¡¯s already said he¡¯s allergic. He¡¯s not joking.¡±


    ¡°Nothing¡¯ll happen to him with just a bit.¡± Wang Zhi spoke a bit softer to Nan Jia, but he didn¡¯t change his attitude at all. ¡°Hold the bottle. I¡¯ve already said no one¡¯s allowed to run today.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t reach out to grab it, and the atmosphere turned very rigid. Knowing very well how to take a hint, Shen Mi took the bottle. ¡°Senior, look, I¡¯ll drink for him. What do you think ¡ª I can match you bottle for bottle.¡± He immediately started to gulp the beer down, and over half of the bottle disappeared in one go. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t manage to stop him in time, saying, ¡°There¡¯s no need for you to drink.¡±


    Shen Mi wiped away the alcohol on his mouth and placed the bottle back on the table. He said, smiling, ¡°Senior, he¡¯s just¡­¡±


    ¡°Just what? You¡¯re pretty good, hey. It¡¯s only your first day, and you¡¯re already trying to act like a hero. Did I agree for you to drink?¡± The longer he spoke, the harder it was to hold Wang Zhi back. He grabbed a newly opened bottle, left his seat and circled around to stand next to Yue Zhishi. He ignored Nan Jia and Shen Mi, directly saying to Yue Zhishi: ¡°You have no choice but to drink today. This is basic courtesy ¡ª you need to respect your elders, understand? You¡¯ll only be considered a man if you drink. I¡¯ll admire you then.¡±


    Yue Zhishi raised his head and gazed at Wang Zhi. His voice was very calm, his words very direct. ¡°But I don¡¯t need you to admire me.¡±


    ¡°You!¡± Wang Zhi wanted to reach out and grab his hand, prepared to force him to hold the bottle ¡ª but very quickly, his hand was grabbed by another person and was very rudely flung away. He wasn¡¯t able to touch Yue Zhishi¡¯s arm.


    Yue Zhishi saw Song Yu as soon as he looked up. Just by looking at his face, he could tell that he was extremely angry.


    Wang Zhi had never liked Song Yu. ¡°What? You here to fight me too?¡±


    Song Yu spoke coldly, indifferently. ¡°He can¡¯t drink.¡±


    Wang Zhi laughed in anger. ¡°What a joke. He¡¯s a new student in our law faculty. I¡¯m teaching my own junior brother how to act like a proper person, so what are you, a geomatics student, doing here?¡±


    Song Yu sneered and lightly repeated, ¡°Junior brother¡­¡±


    He looked at Wang Zhi, his gaze cold and stern. ¡°What a coincidence. Guess who he is.¡±


    The look on Wang Zhi¡¯s face started to change as he stared at Song Yu¡¯s colder than usual face.


    ¡°Who are you to teach my little brother?¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Senior Nan Jia is a very good person (strongly stressing this). I really don¡¯t like writing poisonous female supporting characters, and I also don¡¯t like it when girls are ¡®identified¡¯ as something hhhh. There¡¯s nothing wrong with liking someone. If she had really wanted to cling and stick onto SY, she would¡¯ve done it already in the last three years of university. She¡¯s the faculty flower too, and til now, Song Yu still hasn¡¯t felt her arrow (he¡¯s actually worried she likes Le Le). You can tell senior hasn¡¯t done anything.


    (spoiler)


    She¡¯s the most important assist to Le Le. She¡¯ll trigger his change of mentality, where he realises he actually likes gege.


    (/end spoiler)


    From her head to her toes, she¡¯s a very good girl.

 CH 53

    Chapter 53: Lingbo Plank Road


    The two of them were close to hitting each other. Yue Zhishi stood up without a single thought and went to stand in front of Song Yu. Qin Yan, Shen Mi and other guys came in time to pull apart the two guys in conflict so that they didn¡¯t actually end up fighting.


    Despite being in the basketball team for so long, Song Yu had always been like a ghost. If Qin Yan hadn¡¯t been there with him, Song Yu might¡¯ve forever floated outside the crowd, never speaking and never socially interacting ¡ª he never mixed in unless it was for training or for a competition. But he may have always been cool and indifferent, but he had never clashed with another team member before.


    His blow up this time didn¡¯t seem like him at all, so many people found it very strange. Of course, people were more surprised that the mixed-race junior brother Qin Yan had been taking care of was actually Song Yu¡¯s little brother.


    ¡°Stop, stop. This is only our first day, no need to ruin our team spirit.¡± Qin Yan was in the middle, trying to lighten the situation. He patted Wang Zhi¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Zhi bro, our little friend here really wasn¡¯t lying to you when he said he couldn¡¯t drink. You wouldn¡¯t know this, but we used to be in the same secondary school. Le Le suffered an allergic reaction during one of our school opening ceremonies and almost went into anaphylactic shock. It was so scary. His life was saved only because his brother was luckily there too. Look, we¡¯re meant to have fun tonight over dinner ¡ª if something really happened, whose fault would it be?¡±


    His words were like a needle wrapped in cotton, subtly and yet cleanly reminding Wang Zhi. Qin Yan turned around and then said to the other team members, ¡°I¡¯ll pay for all the alcohol myself today. I¡¯ll treat all of you, drink as much as you want. Don¡¯t force it if you don¡¯t want to drink, I¡¯ll call over a waiter in a bit for some coke and sprite. Everyone should enjoy themselves.¡±


    ¡°Why buy coke?¡± Nan Jia threw him a look, a slightly annoyed look on her face. ¡°Does no one want to drink the milk tea I bought earlier? Since everyone likes drinking alcohol so much, I won¡¯t buy milk tea for you guys ever again. Such a waste of time and effort.¡±


    The expression on Wang Zhi¡¯s face kept changing. His initially stiff face now looked more uncomfortable, and he looked as if he wanted to say something. The other guys heard Nan Jia and immediately said things like, ¡°Of course not, I like milk tea best. Who likes alcohol.¡±


    ¡°I really, really don¡¯t like it when guys force people to drink. No matter if they¡¯re forcing guys or girls, it¡¯s always against their will.¡± Nan Jia looked at Wang Zhi. ¡°You study law too. You should know how many civil disputes are caused by alcohol.¡±


    Nan Jia had already spoken like this ¡ª even if he wasn¡¯t willing, Wang Zhi still gave in a bit irritably. ¡°Fine fine fine. Just fucking blame it all on me.¡±


    ¡°All right, all right, let¡¯s just pretend nothing happened.¡± Qin Yan glanced at Shen Mi and chuckled. ¡°Look at how red Xiao Shen looks after gulping down half a bottle.¡±


    As he continued chatting about things to ease the atmosphere, Qin Yan held onto Song Yu¡¯s arm, as if he was afraid Song Yu would throw a fit and run off. He also gave Song Yu a look. ¡°Calm down, don¡¯t be angry.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s face continued to be icily indifferent. He didn¡¯t want to say a single thing more to the other people, so he flicked Yue Zhishi a look. ¡°Sit next to me.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± He had been recovering from his fright, worried gege would start fighting with that Wang Zhi, when Yue Zhishi once again cheered up. He happily followed behind Song Yu in satisfaction. The junior brother from earlier, who¡¯d had so many questions as he sat next to Song Yu, started foolishly giggling once he heard he was now sitting next to senior Nan Jia. There was nothing he wanted more.


    ¡°Sure enough, no matter how charismatic a senior brother is, he can¡¯t compare to a senior sister,¡± Qin Yan sighed as he sat down. He couldn¡¯t hold back his laughter once he saw Yue Zhishi. ¡°Le Le, you¡¯re so energetic now that you¡¯re over here. I looked at you a few times when you were sitting on the other table, and you looked like you were cramping.¡±


    ¡°I want to sit with you guys.¡± Yue Zhishi was being slightly, a tiny bit dishonest. He actually only wanted to sit with Song Yu, so he very quickly changed the conversation, trying to lighten the guilt he felt at lying. ¡°Senior Qin Yan, what did you guys order? I want roasted green pepper.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ve ordered that already. We¡¯ve ordered everything you like eating.¡± Qin Yan peeked at the silent Song Yu and leaned onto the table to say to Yue Zhishi, ¡°Look at how important you are. Your brother¡¯s been with the basketball team for so long, and yet he¡¯s never joined us for dinner. He must¡¯ve come only for you. This is also his first time ordering stuff, he usually doesn¡¯t care and eats whatever.¡±


    He then looked at Song Yu again. ¡°Look, don¡¯t be mad at Wang Zhi. That guy¡¯s not afraid of anything, and he¡¯ll get into trouble sooner or later once he graduates. No need to fight with him ¡ª it won¡¯t be nice if rumours get out.¡± He once again lightly bumped his shoulder against Song Yu and said, grinning, ¡°If someone¡¯s angry, I¡¯m not angry; if you wreck your body from anger, no one can replace you.¡±


    Qin Yan had thought Song Yu wouldn¡¯t reply to him, but Song Yu unexpectedly said, ¡°Really? Then who immediately went to find my replacement after I¡¯d only lifted one foot to leave?¡±


    ¡°Hey, don¡¯t be so petty.¡± Qin Yan cracked up. ¡°Le Le, look at your brother! Help return some justice to me!¡±


    Yue Zhishi was originally biting on his chopsticks, and he started to laugh along after he heard this exchange. He gazed at the side of Song Yu¡¯s face. ¡°Who told you to leave.¡±


    Song Yu turned his head over, giving Yue Zhishi a not very happy look. Yue Zhishi immediately lifted a hand to touch his arm, whispering I was wrong, I was wrong as a pleading look filled his face. Song Yu only turned his head back after being coaxed a few times and silently drank some boiled water.


    The barbecue skewers came one after another, the spicy cumin fragrance highly tantalising to the appetite. Yue Zhishi picked up the skewers and used his chopsticks to pull the roasted food off the iron sticks, eating slowly after he placed the now empty skewers to the side.


    ¡°How was your fieldwork this time?¡± Qin Yan chatted as he ate. ¡°Were you guys really sleeping in tents?¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡± Song Yu said the terrain of the mountains they¡¯d gone to was unusual; the villages were all at the foot of the mountains, and there were very few people living in that area.


    ¡°You should go learn some rock climbing or some wilderness survival stuff, just in case something bad¡­¡± Before Qin Yan could finish his joke, Song Yu had already elbowed him ¡ª the second half of his words were all pushed back into his stomach. Qin Yan initially thought Song Yu couldn¡¯t handle the teasing, but he very quickly realised, glancing at Yue Zhishi who was sitting next to Song Yu.


    Song Yu also looked over. Fortunately, Yue Zhishi was always very focused on his food whenever he ate, and he looked like he was brawling with a barbecued chicken foot and didn¡¯t hear what Qin Yan had said.


    Qin Yan changed the subject, his voice slightly louder. ¡°S.Yu, you don¡¯t treat me like a brother at all. Going out for studies can also be considered as going on a trip, and yet you didn¡¯t even bring me back a local gift.¡±


    Having finished his chicken foot, Yue Zhishi coincidentally heard Qin Yan. ¡°He didn¡¯t bring a gift back for you?¡±


    Song Yu twisted around to give Yue Zhishi a look, as if warning him not to say anything, but Yue Zhishi completely didn¡¯t take notice at all ¡ª he cared only about showing off to Qin Yan. ¡°Gege brought me something.¡±


    ¡°As expected, you can¡¯t be friends with people with damned younger brother complexes,¡± Qin Yan complained.


    Yue Zhishi groped out that little stone in his pocket with a great deal of enthusiasm and sent it over to Qin Yan, his arm reaching across Song Yu. ¡°Look!¡±


    Qin Yan puffed out a laugh the instant he saw the rock. He didn¡¯t even take it. ¡°What¡¯s this, I thought it¡¯d be something nice. He only picked up a dirty rock for you.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not!¡± Yue Zhishi was very dissatisfied with Qin Yan and wanted to explain to him what it was ¡ª but the Song Yu sitting in between them pulled his hand back. After Yue Zhishi freed himself, he stubbornly went around Song Yu and forced Qin Yan to look at the other side of the stone. ¡°Senior, look at this side. The outside looks really plain, but it¡¯s very beautiful on the inside.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­¡± Qin Yan only then saw it. ¡°It¡¯s blue on the inside.¡± But his sense of novelty lasted for only a few seconds. ¡°But this is still just a rock.¡±


    Yue Zhishi felt like there was no way he could fully explain. This was clearly a very precious stone, yet Qin Yan didn¡¯t care.


    Having noticed Yue Zhishi¡¯s disappointment, Song Yu looked over. He said to Qin Yan, pretending to speak carelessly, ¡°This is a turquoise.¡±


    Qin Yan did have a decent family background. He might not be able to recognise the raw stone, but he understood as soon as he heard the name. ¡°Really? Turquoise? How much does this usually go for?¡±


    Song Yu mildly said, ¡°The clearest, deepest blue ones cost several thousand rmb for one gram. This one¡¯s high clarity and is a sky blue colour. Calculate it yourself.¡±


    ¡°Holy shit.¡± Qin Yan immediately changed his attitude. ¡°Yu bro, you¡¯re too fucking amazing. You can make a fortune just by picking up rocks. Do you have any left for me? That one¡¯s too small, do you have one the size of a watermelon?¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t bother with him anymore, silently eating his food.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t know it was this expensive.¡± Yue Zhishi leaned in very closely to Song Yu, almost sticking onto his arm. ¡°Did you really find it?¡±


    ¡°What else?¡± Song Yu gave him a piece of roasted green pepper. ¡°Stop looking at it and eat.¡±


    Yue Zhishi listened to him obediently. After eating a whole meal together, he realised the majority of the other team members were actually not bad, all of them having delightful senses of humour.


    Everyone was slightly curious about Yue Zhishi¡¯s outer appearance and his brotherly relationship with Song Yu. It was human nature to be curious, and Yue Zhishi had long gotten used to it.


    But he wasn¡¯t used to Song Yu suddenly starting to explain: he said they weren¡¯t true brothers, and they didn¡¯t have any blood relation at all. He never used to say this and used to never care how other people interpreted their relationship ¡ª as long as he didn¡¯t need to mention Yue Zhishi¡¯s passed away parents.


    So Yue Zhishi now found it a bit foreign, hearing Song Yu personally admitting their relationship. He wasn¡¯t feeling regret because they weren¡¯t true brothers. He was feeling something else entirely, something indescribable.


    Everything felt very contradictory ¡ª it felt like Song Yu was publicly acknowledging their relationship, and yet it also felt like he was implicitly resisting against being defined as brothers.


    The dinner ended, and everyone respectively returned back to their dorms. Nan Jia said Shen Mi seemed drunk and suggested taking him back with another guy from the law faculty.


    ¡°Looks like that newly arrived Shen Mi might have a chance with Nan Jia,¡± Qin Yan started to joke in a gossipy manner. ¡°I think they look quite compatible.¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought ¡ª it might not actually be like that.


    ¡°It¡¯d be good if something happened.¡± Song Yu spoke very quietly, his words a bit muffled.


    ¡°What¡¯d you say?¡±


    ¡°Nothing.¡±


    Yue Zhishi strolled around with Qin Yan and Song Yu. The campus was very large, and they mindlessly walked around without a destination in mind.


    ¡°Where¡¯s your girlfriend?¡±


    It was already the third time Song Yu asked this question.


    ¡°Why do you keep worrying about my wife?¡± Qin Yan didn¡¯t get Song Yu¡¯s hidden meaning at all. ¡°She went out to find a close friend today, throwing me away all by my lonesome self.¡±


    Pretending to sob, Qin Yan once again slipped his arm around Song Yu¡¯s shoulders. ¡°Look at how good I am. Even though you¡¯ve stood me up for so many years, I still won¡¯t abandon you and your cute little brother.¡±


    Yue Zhishi said, very frankly, ¡°It¡¯s okay, I don¡¯t need you to stay with me, senior Qin Yan.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s with you?¡± Qin Yan laughed in exasperation and said, trying to intimidate him, ¡°I¡¯m going to sell your little rock.¡±


    The three of them were almost at the campus¡¯s side entrance near the East Lake. A gust of wind rose, and humid air rushed at their faces. Qin Yan suddenly received a phone call ¡ª it seemed to be from his girlfriend. Yue Zhishi noticed that even though he usually spoke roughly and really enjoyed joking around, he always spoke particularly gently to his girlfriend, his voice soft and tender.


    ¡°Ah, you¡¯ve gone over? Don¡¯t go by yourself, wait for me. You¡¯ll be bullied if you go by yourself. Okay, I¡¯ll be there soon.¡±


    Seeing Qin Yan hang up his call, Song Yu raised an eyebrow. ¡°What, your girlfriend going to a fight?¡±


    ¡°What are you joking about.¡± Qin Yan neatly put away his phone. ¡°She doesn¡¯t want to live in the dorms anymore now that she¡¯s about to take the postgraduate entrance exams. Didn¡¯t I also say earlier that I needed to start preparing for internship interviews? We¡¯ve talked about renting a place outside, it¡¯ll be more convenient.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was very curious. ¡°Are you guys going to move in together?¡±


    ¡°Of course, why would we each rent a place separately?¡± Qin Yan smiled. ¡°She just said she made an appointment to see a place on her way back. She liked it as soon as she saw it online. I¡¯m heading over now to go with her. Comrade Xiao Yu, sorry, but it¡¯s finally come to the time when I, your friend, am standing you up.¡±


    It was exactly what Song Yu wanted, and he asked in passing, ¡°Which neighbourhood? Is it a nice place?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not too bad. It¡¯s a loft with two floors, and it looks quite cozy. The important thing is that she likes floor to ceiling windows so she can look out to the lake.¡±


    Right before Qin Yan left, Song Yu said, ¡°Take a video, I¡¯ll watch it later.¡±


    ¡°You want to move out too?¡± Qin Yan said, ¡°Aren¡¯t you already guaranteed a postgrad spot? Everything¡¯s pretty much finalised, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was a bit surprised ¡ª Song Yu had never mentioned this to him.


    ¡°I just want to have a look.¡± Song Yu didn¡¯t say much else, hurriedly rushing him away.


    In a flash, it was only the two of them left. Yue Zhishi wanted to say something, but Song Yu¡¯s eyes gazed into the distance. ¡°Let¡¯s go over there. I don¡¯t think you¡¯ve been there before.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was distracted as expected, and he looked towards the area Song Yu mentioned. There were quite a few people coming and going. ¡°What¡¯s that place?¡±


    ¡°Lingbo Gate.¡±


    Song Yu brought Yue Zhishi over. As soon as they arrived, all they could see was a large span of rippling, undulating lake water, the view suddenly spreading right before their eyes. The sky had already darkened, the sun at the tail-end of its day, and only a dark blue sky remained, merged with lake water.


    Many, many narrow plank bridges interlocked each other on top of the lake right outside Lingbo Gate, the roads connecting together. Yue Zhishi pretty much immediately understood why this place was called Lingbo Gate ¡ª the rising water of the lake was separated from the bridges by only ten or so centimetres, and many students and tourists stood above, as if they were truly walking on water, taking lingering steps on the waves.


    ¡°Let¡¯s get on there too.¡± He ran over, pulling Song Yu¡¯s wrist. He only realised then that the plank bridges were even narrower than he¡¯d expected; they were half a metre wide at the most, thin and long. There were also no railings built onto the planks. The planks were supported by a great deal of stone pillars plunged into the lake, each separated by half a metre, and they held up the winding and circular plank road.


    It was the first time Yue Zhishi walked on here, and he was a bit afraid, worried he might fall in. His two hands subconsciously stretched out, balancing himself, and he walked ahead while frequently looking back. ¡°I won¡¯t fall down, right? I haven¡¯t swam in a long time, and I¡¯ve only worn this jersey once.¡±


    Sure enough, he valued his life. Song Yu found him too noisy, so he caught his hand. ¡°You won¡¯t fall.¡±


    They walked like that, one in the front and one in the back. They walked into the depths of the lake while holding hands, and Yue Zhishi paused once they reached a corner. ¡°I want to sit here.¡±


    They sat down on the plank bridge, just like many of the other people at Lingbo Gate. The sky had deepened even further, the dark blue turning into a much richer colour. The wind of September mingled with the damp smell of the lake, and it softly puffed onto their faces. Light illuminated the distant far shore of the lake, twinkling brightly and gently.


    Yue Zhishi swung his legs and shifted closer to Song Yu. ¡°Gege, did you use to come here often?¡±


    Song Yu looked into the horizon, shaking his head. ¡°I¡¯ve only sat on the bench on the shore. This is my first time on the plank bridge.¡±


    This was inconceivable to Yue Zhishi. ¡°This place is so beautiful. How come you didn¡¯t come here before?¡±


    It was because it was so beautiful ¡ª I wanted to leave my first experience to when you arrived.


    It wasn¡¯t only Lingbo Gate¡¯s plank bridge. There was also the open air cinema in the Plum Garden playground every Friday, the slowly blooming cherry blossoms covering each rooftop every spring, the archway in front of the oldest dormitory building reflecting the sea of golden gingko trees in the distant hills, to the administrative building sports ground covered in pure white snow every winter¡­


    Song Yu mutely walked past too many places by himself, never once stopping ¡ª it was like if he paused for just a little longer, these places would no longer be as beautiful the next time he came with him.


    Even though at that time, he had thought Yue Zhishi might not even come to this university.


    Song Yu was silent for a short while, and then he randomly found an excuse to dodge Yue Zhishi¡¯s question. ¡°Because I didn¡¯t want to sit on the ground. It¡¯s too dirty.¡±


    Yue Zhishi found it very funny, despite how Song Yu¡¯s words were in line with someone obsessed with cleanliness. ¡°Then aren¡¯t you sitting on the ground now? What¡¯s the difference?¡±


    ¡°The difference is that you¡¯re here.¡± Song Yu looked at him and said in a serious manner, ¡°If I didn¡¯t come up here as well, how would I explain it to my mother if you fell down?¡±


    That was true.


    ¡°Okay.¡± Yue Zhishi swayed his long legs. He was about to speak when a guy a few metres away jumped directly into the water from the plank road, splashing Yue Zhishi with water and startling him. He immediately wanted to get up, but Song Yu held him down.


    ¡°That¡¯s very normal.¡± Song Yu was still holding his hand. ¡°Look at how many people are swimming.¡±


    Only then then Yue Zhishi notice that there a bunch of people swimming in the lake nearby. They looked like they were playing very happily.


    ¡°There are even lake jumping festivals in the spring, where people jump into the water using all kinds of methods.¡± Song Yu focused on the lake surface, looking as though he was thinking of a memory. ¡°Some jump in with their bicycles, some go in with a springboard. There are even some couples who jump in hugging each other.¡±


    Under the faint shimmer of the lights, Yue Zhishi gazed at the side of Song Yu¡¯s face. He felt like he was speaking very gently, and so were his blank eyes ¡ª as if he¡¯d personally seen all of these, as if he¡¯d come here many times and seen all kinds of different people.


    He wanted to know if Song Yu came here by himself, or if he came with someone else. But as soon as Yue Zhishi imagined Song Yu sitting on the bench on the shore by himself, he felt very distressed. He wasn¡¯t really able to accept the solitary, extremely lonely image of Song Yu being himself and would feel upset for him.


    But it was like Yue Zhishi had no way of imagining Song Yu coming here and sitting on that bench together with someone else. He would feel distressed for himself.


    These contradictory emotions were like slow-acting drugs, and they corroded Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart bit by bit. He initially didn¡¯t feel them at all, but gradually, these feelings became stronger. They attacked from time to time, and they caused him to sink into negative illusions for no reason at all.


    ¡°Sometimes you can ride a boat here.¡± Song Yu interrupted his train of thoughts. ¡°We can try our luck next time.¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡± Yue Zhishi said, ¡°It must be really nice to watch the sunset here, right? Can we come here next time to watch the sunset? When you¡¯re not busy.¡±


    Song Yu nodded.


    Yue Zhishi thought about Qin Yan renting a place of his own, so he said carelessly, ¡°I like looking at the lake too. The scenery here¡¯s really nice.¡±


    ¡°Our house might be really big, but we can only see the greenery in our neighbourhood. It must be wonderful to be able to see the lake from the balcony.¡±


    He was very satisfied just by visualising it. Yue Zhishi looked all around him, realising there were more people at the corner of the plank bridge where the person had just jumped off. They were also two men, but they leaned against each other closer than he and Song Yu were, their heads almost laying on each other.


    Yue Zhishi was a bit curious, so he peeked at them for a little while longer. He noticed in shock that they were holding hands, and their fingers were even intertwined.


    An undefinable feeling emerged in his heart at this; the next second, where his eyes could see, the guy on the right turned his head over and kissed the person next to him very briefly. The kiss was very quick, and because of his bold action, his face was covered by a shy and lovely smile.


    The sky was now fully dark, the surface of the lake glistening. Those secret, concealed emotions were blown away by the wind and scattered into those glittering fragments, dissolving into the lake water.


    ¡°What are you looking at?¡± Song Yu subconsciously followed Yue Zhishi¡¯s line of sight and looked over. He also noticed that pair of men, but he didn¡¯t say anything.


    Yue Zhishi turned his face around. His head lowered, the palms of his hands braced by the stones on the plank road. He uneasily swung his dangling legs. ¡°Nothing.¡±


    He may have said that, but Yue Zhishi was still not used to concealing anything from Song Yu. So after two seconds, he looked over and said to Song Yu, ¡°They kissed just now. I saw it.¡±


    Song Yu wasn¡¯t as surprised as he¡¯d expected, only calmly saying, ¡°Really.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded at him. ¡°They were even holding hands.¡±


    He realised very belatedly that the two men kissing didn¡¯t actually make him think about the video he¡¯d been accidentally forced to watch during his junior high graduation. On the contrary, he found the kiss very pure ¡ª especially the smile on the face of the guy kissing.


    He was so cute ¡ª he must really like his boyfriend.


    Seeing Yue Zhishi not speaking, Song Yu wondered if he needed to say something, but unexpectedly, Yue Zhishi asked him, ¡°Gege, would you find it very weird for them to kiss?¡±


    When he spoke, Yue Zhishi shifted the hands he¡¯d braced on the plank. The tips of his fingers touched Song Yu¡¯s ¡ª they were a bit cold. Song Yu looked at Yue Zhishi and moved his eyes away as if he was totally unconcerned. He spoke flatly, ¡°What¡¯s weird about it? It¡¯s nothing to do with us.¡±


    It was like he wasn¡¯t asking a question in return and was only making a simple statement.


    ¡°Then can you accept two guys being together?¡±


    Faced with Yue Zhishi¡¯s question, Song Yu fell into a kind of deadlock ¡ª he didn¡¯t want to give any kind of guidance, and yet he also didn¡¯t want to say anything against his own heart.


    ¡°It¡¯s not up to me whether I accept it or not. It¡¯s their business.¡±


    His words sounded a bit too heartless, so Song Yu added, ¡°As long as they truly like each other, they have done nothing wrong.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s true,¡± Yue Zhishi softly echoed, as if he was convincing himself.


    Song Yu realised he had a truly unfeeling heart. The person he liked was right in front of him, and that person was asking him a question he could use to publicly reveal his hidden love. And yet he still didn¡¯t do anything ¡ª because he was an older brother.


    The relationship between them was like a bubble that would burst at being touched. Yue Zhishi was free to act as recklessly as he wanted, but he needed to act with great care and caution, bearing all of the consequences.


    He hoped he was truly a piece of obstinate rock. He would have no consciousness, and he could continue on stubbornly, without weakening.


    The wind cooled down, and Yue Zhishi stuck closely to Song Yu¡¯s arm. It was like he was searching for some warmth, and he once again smelled the pleasant fragrance on Song Yu¡¯s body.


    He didn¡¯t know when it started ¡ª he wanted to embrace Song Yu, wanted to possess his entire person. At learning that Song Yu had so many memories that he hadn¡¯t been in, Yue Zhishi would feel powerless.


    It was like he suffered through a serious illness. He¡¯d originally thought he could chase after someone without asking for anything in return, but he actually wasn¡¯t that generous.


    He needed a response ¡ª he needed a Song Yu that belonged solely, exclusively to him.


    This slightly pathological possessiveness was about to completely devour Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart.


    He had no way of continuing their conversation just now, so he sniffed and changed it to something different.


    ¡°Gege, when¡¯s the next time you¡¯re going out for fieldwork?¡± Yue Zhishi asked.


    Song Yu said he wasn¡¯t sure, and Yue Zhishi asked again if he could follow along. Song Yu refused. ¡°It¡¯s a bit dangerous.¡±


    Yue Zhishi yielded very sensibly. ¡°Then you¡¯ll bring me back some stones, right?¡±


    He turned his face, looking at Song Yu. ¡°Only for me.¡±


    ¡°I will.¡± Song Yu gave him a firm promise. ¡°But these stones are useless. You don¡¯t research them, so they¡¯re meaningless to you.¡±


    ¡°Then will they be more meaningful if you give them to other people?¡±


    Song Yu frowned at Yue Zhishi¡¯s abrupt question. ¡°Why are you asking that?¡±


    Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t able to respond and didn¡¯t give him an answer.


    He suddenly felt a deep sense of insecurity in each and every area. He was frightened ¡ª someone who might make Song Yu care more for them might appear, and then he¡¯ll no longer have his position in Song Yu¡¯s life. He was even more frightened of Song Yu suddenly disappearing one day and never coming back.


    ¡°I just don¡¯t want you to give things to other people. Is that okay?¡±


    Song Yu keenly sensed the change in Yue Zhishi, so his heart softened very quickly. He raised his hand, lightly stroking the top of Yue Zhishi¡¯s head. ¡°Okay.¡±


    He didn¡¯t want to disappoint Yue Zhishi. ¡°I¡¯ll do my best to find different mementos for you. They might not be worth so much every time, so don¡¯t expect too much.¡±


    Yue Zhishi pulled out the turquoise Song Yu had given him, lowering his head to stare at that sliced and glowing, blue side. ¡°That¡¯s okay. I¡¯ll be really happy no matter what you give me.¡±


    These gifts that crossed mountains and rivers ¡ª he¡¯ll safely guard all of them.


    ¡°Why?¡± Song Yu abruptly wanted to ask, so he blurted out the question.


    This time, Yue Zhishi was very honest. ¡°Because if I know you¡¯ll give me a present once you come back, it¡¯ll be easier for me to accept you leaving.¡±


    Hearing those words, only then did Song Yu understand.


    Yue Zhishi had actually heard the things Qin Yan had said at the dinner table, the jokes about him learning how to rock climb in case of accidents. He¡¯d only pretended he didn¡¯t hear, pretending he was focusing on eating; he didn¡¯t want them to feel awkward around the dinner table because of him.


    Song Yu also suddenly realised ¡ª in fact, Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t as absent-minded or as easy to trick as he¡¯d thought.


    It had been a long time since he¡¯d been a child who didn¡¯t understand anything.


    ¡°Gege.¡± His voice dropped. ¡°You can go to very far away places, or very dangerous places, if you really want.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand was clenched so tightly. It wasn¡¯t that he must have mementos ¡ª he wasn¡¯t that childish. Even if someone who might give more meaning to those stones truly appeared, that was fine too.


    ¡°But you can¡¯t forget ¡ª I¡¯m still waiting for your present.¡±


    Yue Zhishi only wanted one promise from Song Yu, one habit, that would make him remember to protect himself every single moment. Remember that there was someone waiting for him.


    He looked at Song Yu, the lakeside wind blowing high the hair on his forehead and exposing his beautiful features. He opened his mouth, the tone of his voice a rarely heard calm.


    ¡°I was too young back then, and I had no way to hold them back. They never returned after they left, and I had no choice but to accept it. But I¡¯m older now. I don¡¯t want to accept anything like that again.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t leave me. Don¡¯t leave me by myself,¡± Yue Zhishi said.

 CH 54

    Chapter 54: A Lifeline or a Knife


    Song Yu couldn¡¯t hold back after all, and he pulled Yue Zhishi into his arms. He restrained himself and hugged him with a very, very light strength, so that the embrace looked more like he was comforting him ¡ª and not possessing him.


    ¡°I won¡¯t.¡± Song Yu caressed Yue Zhishi¡¯s nape, his voice a bit husky. ¡°Something like that won¡¯t happen again.¡± Song Yu was already smart enough, but he couldn¡¯t understand how he could get Yue Zhishi to understand he actually really cared about him and actually didn¡¯t want to leave him at all. His feelings were like the tip of iceberg: he could only show one ten-thousandth of his feelings. Only then could he continue acting normally as an older brother should.


    But he found it harder and harder to regulate his emotions. He wanted Yue Zhishi to understand how important he was to him, and yet he wasn¡¯t willing to expose his true desires to him. He borrowed Yue Zhishi¡¯s trust and reliance towards him to satisfy his own narrow-minded possessiveness.


    ¡°I will do everything I promised you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi quietly let Song Yu hug him. He didn¡¯t cry, didn¡¯t respond and was even more silent than the lake water. Song Yu felt a bit uneasy at this, as if Yue Zhishi thought the words he¡¯d spoken were no longer useful ¡ª as if he would no longer ask him again and again like when he was a child, ¡°Really? You promise.¡±


    Now that Yue Zhishi was grown up, Song Yu was a bit scared he wouldn¡¯t need his promises anymore.


    But at the end, Yue Zhishi still lifted his hands and gently grabbed onto Song Yu¡¯s clothes at the small of his back. Even though the wrinkles on his clothes could disappear at any time after this mutual embrace ended, not leaving behind a shred of evidence, Song Yu was still slightly consoled by this.


    Noticing Yue Zhishi¡¯s arms were a bit cold, Song Yu suggested taking him back. They walked on the plank road timidly, as if they were treading on thin ice, and yet they clutched each other¡¯s hands tightly. Once they arrived back to the shore, they returned once again to a safe distance from each other.


    Yue Zhishi had already recovered by the time they stood underneath his dorm building. It was like he¡¯d already forgotten what they just spoke about, and he started smiling to Song Yu again. ¡°If you¡¯re going to basketball training, can you tell me ahead of time? I want to train with you.¡±


    Song Yu nodded in agreement, and then he raised a hand to touch Yue Zhishi¡¯s face, once again caressing Yue Zhishi¡¯s nape for a little while.


    These movements exceeded Yue Zhishi¡¯s expectations. They made him feel like a little puppy who¡¯d been given extra snacks; his heart very much liked them, but he didn¡¯t dare move. He was even more shaken after he left Song Yu and went upstairs ¡ª to the point that he silently said to Song Yu in his heart in distress and out of spite, don¡¯t touch me like that again.


    But he wanted him to; he liked it.


    When he reached the fourth floor, Yue Zhishi suddenly heard someone call his name. He saw Shen Mi once he lifted his head, and he was standing next to the windows in the corridor.


    ¡°Why are you here?¡± Yue Zhishi remembered he was drunk and asked again, ¡°Are you feeling okay?¡±


    Shen Mi chuckled and answered his second question first. ¡°I didn¡¯t drink that much. I¡¯m just a bit red, I¡¯m not actually drunk.¡± He then said quickly, ¡°I sent you some messages after I got back. Since you weren¡¯t replying, I came over by myself. I waited for you for a while, but since you weren¡¯t back yet, I was getting ready to leave. I didn¡¯t expect you to come back now.¡±


    Yue Zhishi gave him a smile too. ¡°I was walking around campus with my ge.¡±


    ¡°I know.¡± Shen Mi spoke a bit too quickly.


    Yue Zhishi originally wanted to ask if he wanted anything else, but he felt asking something like that wasn¡¯t too nice. So he extended out an invitation: ¡°Do you still want to come and hang around?¡±


    Unlike usual, Shen Mi refused. ¡°No, it¡¯s late. You should go rest. I just wanted to check on you, in case you weren¡¯t happy about tonight.¡± He then said, consoling, ¡°Don¡¯t be angry because of someone like that. There¡¯s no need.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded. ¡°I know, don¡¯t worry.¡± He stood in the corridor, watching Shen Mi leave, and waited for him to reach outside. He could see his receding figure enter the building next door from the window.


    Yue Zhishi was still caged by that feeling of insecurity. In the past, once he¡¯d received Song Yu¡¯s promise, his symptoms would ease; this time, they didn¡¯t. Song Yu had clearly given him his word, but it didn¡¯t help him at all.


    Yue Zhishi felt very helpless.


    Everything Song Yu promised, he truly did, including bringing Yue Zhishi to training. Even if he really was very busy, he¡¯d still accompany Yue Zhishi at least twice a week. He once arrived still wearing his glasses. Song Yu would usually leave his glasses at his seat in the research lab in case he lost them, because he only wore them when he was either studying or working. But he didn¡¯t even realise he was still wearing them this time, and he was even wearing a white button down shirt that was unsuited for basketball.


    At that time, Yue Zhishi was about to shoot a three-pointer. The court he just happened to be in faced the entrance of the gymnasium, so when he saw Song Yu come in, the trajectory of the ball went crooked. He¡¯d thought it would definitely go in, and yet his shot turned into a very absurd airball.


    Yue Zhishi thought it was a bit embarrassing, but Song Yu looked so nice wearing his white button down shirt and his glasses. The two feelings collided, and he forgot what he was doing, only foolishly saying to Song Yu, ¡°Wouldn¡¯t your glasses fall off if you wear them playing ball.¡± He rapidly realised his question was very silly, so he added, ¡°They shouldn¡¯t, your nose bridge is really high.¡±


    Song Yu reached up a hand to touch his glasses, and he only then realised what had felt different. He didn¡¯t say he had just come from an unexpected meeting; he merely said he could see clearer with his glasses and didn¡¯t take them off.


    He was always like this ¡ª using lies neither too big or too small to cover up the thoughts he¡¯d thought wouldn¡¯t hurt or itch at his heart. Yue Zhishi wouldn¡¯t be able to tell the difference, anyway.


    Bumping into Shen Mi during training was unavoidable. Song Yu had held a large prejudice against Shen Mi in the beginning. He¡¯d very keenly sensed the good feelings Shen Mi held towards Yue Zhishi, as well as his extremely strong desire to show off to him. Song Yu had always felt that the majority of the people who liked Yue Zhishi usually only liked his outer appearance, or maybe they thought he was a kind and innocent person who was very easy to approach. But after interacting with him, Song Yu realised Shen Mi truly did treat Yue Zhishi very well ¡ª he was just too childish and wasn¡¯t able to hide his feelings at all.


    There were a few times when Song Yu had hugged Yue Zhishi from behind, teaching him how to shoot. When Shen Mi saw them, his hand movements would freeze, and then he¡¯d continue acting as if nothing had happened, continuing to train with other people.


    Other than him, everyone else was even less likely to find Song Yu and Yue Zhishi¡¯s overly close actions strange. Everyone silently saw them as brothers who¡¯d grown up together.


    The people in the basketball team wouldn¡¯t joke about Yue Zhishi and Song Yu, but they had still yet to cure their old habit of discussing Song Yu and Nan Jia, despite Nan Jia sternly refuting them every time and Song Yu directly walking away. Sometimes, Yue Zhishi would also be very curious ¡ª just exactly where did they think them so well-matched?


    Whenever he thought about this, he would look towards Nan Jia. She was very beautiful, and despite her exquisite face, she didn¡¯t have any airs at all. Her warmth and gentleness basked others like a soft spring breeze, and yet her strength was convincing and believable, not discordant at all. She and Song Yu would sometimes accidentally stand together, and they truly did look beautiful together.


    After observing and pondering over it for a while, it felt like Yue Zhishi also started to gradually believe this as fact.


    They truly complemented each other very well.


    His moods lately were like the unstable temperatures in September ¡ª it would be hot enough to wear short sleeves one day, and yet the temperature would suddenly drop the next day, catching people by surprise.


    Yue Zhishi wore the wrong clothes twice, running back to his dorm after a class to grab a jacket. After doing so a number of times, he fell slightly sick, and it felt like he had fallen into a vicious cycle, his cold aggravating the heavy weight on his emotions.


    Two weeks had clearly already passed since they¡¯d had their late night chat at Lingbo Gate, and yet he still hadn¡¯t made much progress.


    His afternoon course started pretty late, and Yue Zhishi was pulled by the seniors in the main basketball team to eat lunch together in the cafeteria. Song Yu, Qin Yan and Nan Jia were all not present, so he sat next to Shen Mi, his left side filled by another cheerful senior. They chatted about NBA competitions and gossip from other faculties. Yue Zhishi was somewhat distracted. His course that afternoon was very difficult; he hadn¡¯t been able to fully follow along in the last few classes, and most importantly, the professor didn¡¯t provide course notes. He wanted to buy a cup of coffee after lunch so he could be a bit more awake during class.


    ¡°Hey, Le Le, I have a question for you.¡±


    The senior sitting next to him interrupted Yue Zhishi¡¯s worries. He lifted his head, earnestly looking at the senior¡¯s face. ¡°Sure, what is it?¡±


    ¡°Has your brother really not dated before?¡± He looked extremely curious. ¡°A guy like him should have heaps of people chasing after him.¡±


    ¡°He hasn¡¯t,¡± Yue Zhishi replied. ¡°He doesn¡¯t seem to be very interested in dating.¡±


    The senior sitting across from him laughed. ¡°The key thing is that most high schoolers dating early also wouldn¡¯t tell their younger brothers.¡±


    ¡°True.¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head. ¡°He really hasn¡¯t. There¡¯s never been a girl who¡¯s gotten close to him.¡±


    ¡°Really? We really can¡¯t understand the world of a university tyrant. I hear his entrance exams score was fucking high, so him running over to study a painful major like geomatics is amazing.¡±


    ¡°He really likes this field.¡± Yue Zhishi stressed, ¡°It¡¯s very good as long as he likes it.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re so good to your brother. It would be nice if I had a little brother like you, I¡¯d steal some fame just by showing you off.¡± The senior chuckled and gave Yue Zhishi some of his own stir-fried noodles with squid. ¡°Have some.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want to say he couldn¡¯t eat it, but Shen Mi moved swiftly and quickly took the noodles from his bowl once the senior wasn¡¯t paying attention.


    ¡°Hey, then let me ask you something else.¡± The senior looked at Yue Zhishi again. ¡°Have you thought about what kind of sister-in-law you¡¯ll have in the future?¡±


    The other guys all unintentionally cracked up at the same time, their laughter coming across a bit strangely.


    Yue Zhishi shook his head. ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Seriously?¡± A senior sitting diagonally across from him chortled and said, ¡°I always look a few extra times every time my brother brings home his girlfriend.¡±


    ¡°Tsk tsk, Old Zhang, I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re that kind of person!¡±


    ¡°Hey, who doesn¡¯t like sister-in-laws!¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s not lead our juniors astray, okay.¡± The senior sitting across from him looked at Yue Zhishi. ¡°Since you really haven¡¯t thought of it before, then what about¡­¡± He pondered for a bit, and then looking as if he thought of a good option: ¡°Just as an example. If senior Nan Jia became your sister-in-law, would you be happy?¡±


    Yue Zhishi watched him in silence. He didn¡¯t respond for a long time, and then he suddenly started coughing. His coughs became worse the longer they went on, and it seemed like he couldn¡¯t stop.


    ¡°Senior, you guys are so gossipy,¡± Shen Mi said. ¡°Senior Nan Jia will definitely be angry again if she heard about this.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re just joking, it¡¯s too boring to just sit in silence while we eat.¡±


    ¡°Rumours like these better not be true. An enemy like Song Yu is too strong ¡ª I still have a chance as long as it¡¯s not him.¡±


    ¡°As if you have a chance!¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s stomach was slightly hurting, his palms covered by a thin layer of sweat. It felt like a stress reaction from the sudden changes in his moods. Doctors had told him since he was a child: even if his asthma was triggered by his allergy, he still needed to pay attention to his emotions. He needed to prevent falling sick as much as possible and maintain a cheerful mood; that was the best way he could minimise his risk of suffering from an attack. He had always been an obedient child, and he¡¯d always requested all this from himself.


    But now, it became harder and harder for him to control his own emotions ¡ª just like how he couldn¡¯t control his own breathing when he was suffering from an allergic attack.


    After they finished lunch, Shen Mi said he needed to pick up a delivery and asked Yue Zhishi to go with him. Yue Zhishi naturally didn¡¯t refuse, and they separated from their seniors that way. Shen Mi actually didn¡¯t have something he needed to pick up. He brought Yue Zhishi into a convenience store, buying him a hot milk tea.


    ¡°I¡¯ll treat you to this. All the girls say this is really yummy,¡± Shen Mi said.


    Yue Zhishi thanked him. ¡°You keep treating me to food.¡±


    Shen Mi laughed. ¡°The way you look when you¡¯re eating can really cheer people up.¡±


    Yue Zhishi said thank you again, and the two of them sat on the bar stools, drinking their milk teas. Shen Mi chattered a lot about some amusing things he¡¯d encountered recently, and Yue Zhishi quietly listened to him, occasionally breaking into laughter. As they left the convenience store, Yue Zhishi asked Shen Mi, ¡°Do you think senior Nan Jia and my ge are compatible?¡±


    Shen Mi focused on him for two seconds, and then he let out a laugh. ¡°That¡¯s not up to me to say.¡±


    ¡°Then who does?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not up to anyone to say.¡± Shen Mi smiled. ¡°I can even say we¡¯re the best of friends, but that¡¯s just lips flapping around.¡±


    Yue Zhishi fell silent, and then he said after a little while, ¡°You¡¯re a good friend of mine.¡±


    Shen Mi didn¡¯t comment or respond to his words, but he went with Yue Zhishi the entire way to his classroom entrance, patting his shoulder before he left. ¡°Le Le, don¡¯t think about useless things and end up hurting yourself. Cheer up.¡±


    Shen Mi¡¯s words were always really reasonable, but Yue Zhishi always never truly understood them.


    Before his class started, Yue Zhishi sat in the lecture theatre and looked through his previous notes again. He didn¡¯t want to fall behind, and he was consistently able to calm down whenever he focused on his studies. It was almost time to start the class, and more students arrived ¡ª Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t even notice them until the class bell rang, and he came back to attention, lifting his head.


    Except it wasn¡¯t the fussy old professor standing at the podium. It was Nan Jia.


    Though the microphone, Nan Jia¡¯s voice was slightly stricter than usual. ¡°Professor Wang¡¯s attending a seminar today, so he¡¯s not able to lecture. My name is Nan Jia, his assistant, and I¡¯ll be taking you guys through some real life cases. We¡¯ll also review some of the course¡¯s previous content. You can take today as a question and review session.¡±


    She looked at the roster in her hands and decided to place it down. ¡°I won¡¯t call names. Everyone should know what to do.¡±


    A guy joked, ¡°Good thing I came today, we¡¯re getting two things for the price of one.¡±


    All the other students started to laugh, including Yue Zhishi.


    He realised he couldn¡¯t hate Nan Jia no matter how hard he tried.


    Nan Jia¡¯s grades had always been at the top, and she was very capable, helping them sort through all of the previous course content and completely taking them through the flow of logic. Yue Zhishi felt like he finally understood some of the coursework he previously hadn¡¯t understood, and some of the previously hard to memorise points were now easily digested.


    Nan Jia wore a smile the entire time she led the class. Many students greeted her before they left, and she replied to every single one of them. Yue Zhishi packed up his bag, walking over. ¡°Senior.¡±


    ¡°What do you think, were you surprised when you saw me?¡± Nan Jia unplugged her USB, following him out. ¡°Why do you look so tired? Let me buy you some coffee. There¡¯s a decent automatic coffee machine around the corner of this floor. Have you tried it?¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head. He said this course was a bit hard, and he was a bit sick, so he wasn¡¯t feeling very energetic.


    ¡°Ah, I was the same when I was taking this course. My head was always floating around in the clouds.¡± She whispered to Yue Zhishi, ¡°This professor is really amazing, but he¡¯s not great at teaching. I have his course notes from before. There¡¯s been some slight changes since then, but they should be roughly the same content as now. Do you need them?¡±


    ¡°Yes!¡± Yue Zhishi cheered up and then complained, ¡°He doesn¡¯t give course notes anymore.¡±


    Nan Jia took him to the automatic coffee machine around the corner and bought him a caramel macchiato, saying this was the nicest flavour ¡ª it had a very rich, nutty taste.


    ¡°We don¡¯t have time today, but next time I¡¯ll take you to try some freshly ground coffee.¡±


    As they spoke, a girl walked by and called out Nan Jia¡¯s name from far away. ¡°How come you¡¯re here!¡±


    Nan Jia looked over. ¡°Yueyue.¡± She showed her the cup of coffee in her hands. ¡°I just finished my teaching assistant class. I¡¯m just perking my junior and myself up with some coffee. You said our dorm was leaking water during lunchtime ¡ª has it been fixed?¡±


    Yue Zhishi looked at the senior called Yueyue and guessed they were dorm mates. They seemed very close. She walked over and also gave Yue Zhishi a friendly greeting. ¡°I know you, you¡¯re Yue Zhishi, right? You¡¯re Song Yu¡¯s brother.¡±


    ¡°Hi, senior.¡±


    ¡°Hello, hello. You¡¯re too famous, you became our law faculty¡¯s faculty grass as soon as you came in. So many people are talking about you.¡± She was very bright and cheerful, her face filled with animation as she spoke.


    Yue Zhishi shook his head in embarrassment, not knowing how to continue the conversation.


    Yueyue stared at Yue Zhishi and then looked back at Nan Jia, giving him a meaningful look. ¡°Hey, you have a pretty good relationship with Song Yu¡¯s brother. Are you planning something?¡±


    Nan Jia frowned. ¡°What nonsense are you saying? This has nothing to do with anything.¡±


    ¡°Why are you holding back for, seriously.¡± She smiled at Yue Zhishi again. ¡°Let me tell you a secret. Your senior Nan Jia has liked your brother since first year.¡±


    A small dull pain flared in Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but she spoke before he could.


    ¡°You should help out your senior sister.¡±


    Without waiting for Yue Zhishi to react, Nan Jia found an excuse to leave her dorm mate behind and pulled Yue Zhishi away.


    They came out of the classroom building to sit on a bench in the little garden behind the building. During this time, Nan Jia kept saying to Yue Zhishi, ¡°My dorm mate¡¯s quite careless with the way she speaks. Don¡¯t take her seriously, everything she said were just jokes.¡±


    Yue Zhishi sat down as well. The coffee in his hand had now cooled down a bit, and he could finally drink it.


    He didn¡¯t drink much, but the caffeine worked faster than he¡¯d expected ¡ª his fingers started to slightly tremble. Yue Zhishi was a bit cold ¡ª maybe he wasn¡¯t wearing enough clothing.


    Nan Jia said she had never able to avoid being teased. Not only just about Song Yu, but also about other people. She started to laugh as she spoke. ¡°There are even some people joking about you and me. Isn¡¯t that really funny?¡±


    The way she explained it seemed to confirm their jokes.


    Yue Zhishi raised his eyes, shifting his gaze to Nan Jia. ¡°Senior, do you truly like my ge?¡±


    Nan Jia quieted down and then sat next to Yue Zhishi. She looked down at her cup of coffee, head lowered, and spoke only after a long while passed. ¡°Yes, I¡¯ve liked him since first year. But¡­¡±


    She lifted her head and looked at Yue Zhishi. ¡°Le Le, I don¡¯t need you to help me.¡±


    Yue Zhishi wrinkled his eyebrows. ¡°Really?¡± He even smiled uncontrollably at Nan Jia, saying words even he thought were very fake. ¡°I can help you. I used to help people give him love letters and deal with girls who looked for me after they couldn¡¯t add his contact details. This is nothing.¡±


    He wanted to say, if it¡¯s you, I¡¯ll be even more delighted, but Yue Zhishi, at the end, wasn¡¯t able to say it.


    He found himself even slightly enjoying the feeling of hurting himself ¡ª as though he wouldn¡¯t feel so lost if he was in a bit more pain.


    Nan Jia tilted her head over and smiled at Yue Zhishi. ¡°The reason why I said I didn¡¯t need your help is because I¡¯m slowly giving up right now. This has always been an unrequited love. Other than my own emotional investment, I actually haven¡¯t put in anything. I liked him by myself, and now I¡¯m giving up by myself ¡ª from the beginning to the end, nothing will affect Song Yu and other people.¡±


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t understand. ¡°Give up?¡±


    He felt like giving up Song Yu was the hardest thing to do in the world.


    ¡°Can you really give him up?¡±


    Nan Jia gazed at his eyes, her voice relaxed. ¡°Does it sound shameful to give up? But actually, I had my own considerations when I made this decision.¡±


    Her finger lightly tapped on the paper cup. ¡°To me, there are two things I should judge when deciding to give up on someone. One: how likely is he to accept me? Two: the ¡®like¡¯ I have for him ¡ª is it worth me spending a large amount of time and effort to force him to like me back?¡±


    Seeing Yue Zhishi a bit bewildered, Nan Jia smiled and explained, ¡°Let me talk about my first point. I can clearly sense Song Yu doesn¡¯t like me; he has absolutely no interest in me at all. It¡¯s already very hard just with this. Then, I need to consider my second point. There¡¯s nothing wrong with me liking him, but just for this ¡®like¡¯ ¡ª should I waste my energy, giving up my every day life, just to eagerly chase after him like in one of those idol dramas? Will he respond to me and like me back just by me doing so?¡±


    The wind blew, a leaf drifting onto Nan Jia¡¯s long skirt. She didn¡¯t brush it away. ¡°You know, so many people think once a girl likes someone, she¡¯ll lose all her reason. They think she¡¯ll like someone to the point she¡¯ll give up herself. But I don¡¯t think I can do that ¡ª there are too many things I want to do, too many goals I want to reach.¡±


    ¡°So you think if there isn¡¯t much hope for something, we can choose to give it up, right?¡± Yue Zhishi asked.


    ¡°No. Rather than putting it that way, it¡¯s more that if I have to choose between him or me, I chose myself.¡± Nan Jia gazed at him. ¡°Compared to liking him, I love myself more. I don¡¯t want to give myself up, so I¡¯m giving up Song Yu.¡±


    Yue Zhishi found Nan Jia very clear-headed. She was very similar to Song Yu in that sense, but she was even more unwavering and steadfast than Song Yu.


    ¡°Senior Nan Jia, you¡¯re truly amazing.¡± He sounded a bit envious and yet also very sincere. ¡°To be able to make a decision so rationally.¡±


    Nan Jia smiled wryly. ¡°Who wants to remain level-headed when it comes to feelings? It¡¯s just because I haven¡¯t received any special treatment.¡±


    She took a sip of coffee. ¡°Actually, I vaguely feel like Song Yu has someone he likes. It might be an unreliable gut feeling.¡±


    This slightly upset Yue Zhishi. His hand braced against the bench, his nose a bit blocked, and it felt like his cold suddenly worsened. He pretended to look curious, lightly asking, ¡°Really? Who do you think it is?¡±


    ¡°If you don¡¯t know, then I definitely won¡¯t know.¡± Nan Jia laughed, but after a moment, the smile on her face gradually ebbed away. ¡°I just feel like, there are so many times Song Yu would do something to distract himself ¡ª like the basketball shooting I talked about last time. Sometimes he¡¯d daze off, as if he¡¯s thinking of someone. Girls are very sensitive to these things, we can sense it.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart felt very complicated. When Nan Jia admitted she truly liked Song Yu, he felt very miserable, as though they were about to get together and Song Yu was about to leave him. But when Nan Jia said she was giving up, Yue Zhishi suddenly felt a sense of relief even he himself found despicable. He¡¯d visibly relaxed.


    But now, he changed again: he impatiently, eagerly wanted to know if Song Yu really had someone he liked, and if he did, who that person was.


    It was awful ¡ª Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t wait even for one moment. No matter how he tried to convince himself, this way of thinking was truly unhealthy. It was abnormal, and it definitely wasn¡¯t something a little brother should have.


    ¡°Le Le, don¡¯t tell your brother any of the things I¡¯ve told you.¡± Nan Jia pleaded with him with her eyes. ¡°I just wanted to explain to you so things don¡¯t get more troublesome in the future. Besides, if he knew, he might find it awkward.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded. ¡°I understand.¡±


    ¡°And¡­¡± Nan Jia released a breath, patting Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulder. ¡°All of the things I said about love ¡ª they were all directed to myself. I¡¯m very selfish, always calculating about how much I¡¯ve invested and how much I¡¯ll get back in return. And plus, I can feel that the other person¡¯s heart belongs to someone else. But¡ª¡ª¡±


    Her voice turned solemn and filled with encouragement. ¡°If you meet someone you like, don¡¯t be like me. If you truly really like that person, you should be brave.¡±


    He didn¡¯t know why, but Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes suddenly started to burn. ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Yes. Who knows, that person might be carrying the same feelings for you. It would be a pity to miss each other.¡± Nan Jia raised her head, looking up towards the clouds in the sky, and said to herself, ¡°Song Yu is a really good person, but I¡¯m not bad either. I¡¯ll definitely meet someone who¡¯ll make me overlook the cost versus the return, someone who¡¯ll give me a reply.¡±


    Yue Zhishi looked at the side of Nan Jia¡¯s face, hesitating. In his heart, Nan Jia was someone who could help him push away his foggy confusion. She was clear-headed yet sincere, and Yue Zhishi subconsciously trusted her.


    Or maybe he truly had nowhere else to turn and chose Nan Jia without noticing. From her, he hoped he could find a lifeline, or maybe a knife to sever his thoughts.


    ¡°Senior.¡±


    Nan Jia looked back. ¡°Hm?¡±


    Yue Zhishi frowned, his voice very soft. ¡°The feelings you have towards someone ¡ª how can you tell if it¡¯s ¡®like¡¯ or something else?¡±


    Seeing Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes, Nan Jia was silent for two seconds, and then she used a not too relaxed but very calm voice to answer, ¡°Le Le, if the feelings you hold for someone is something else, you¡¯ll find that person very, very good. You¡¯ll be very happy and feel very warm as soon as you see them, as soon as you think of them.¡±


    ¡°That which makes you feel uncontrollable pain ¡ª only then is that like.¡±

 CH 55

    Chapter 55: Inevitable


    After he separated from Nan Jia, Yue Zhishi completely forgot to eat dinner, muddling his way back to his dorm in a blur.


    It just happened to be dinner time, so there was no one in the dorm. Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes really hurt, and he had no energy at all ¡ª he felt dizzy and utterly weak, and he planned to sleep after taking a hot shower. But his luck and his physical condition seemed to line up: he¡¯d only finished showered halfway when the dorm¡¯s hot water heater suddenly broke, only ice-cold water coming out no matter how he tried to adjust the gauge. With no other choice, Yue Zhishi could only rush through the rest of his shower, drying off and putting on his clothes before going out.


    Song Yu sent Yue Zhishi two messages in the meantime. The first one was to tell him he¡¯d been called away to do a surface survey and wouldn¡¯t be able to train with Yue Zhishi after dinner; the second one asked where he was.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s teeth were chattering from the cold by the time he wrapped himself into his blanket. He typed out ¡®sleeping in the dorm¡¯ with shaking hands and then turned on his phone¡¯s do not disturb mode.


    He didn¡¯t know how long he actually slept. His dreams were extraordinarily fragile, and he¡¯d wake as soon as he moved. He passed back out very quickly after waking up, so his dreams were broken bits and pieces, all of them memories from his childhood and every single one of them related to Song Yu. Whether he was in his dreams or in reality, he was still the one chasing ¡ª chasing until he fell down. But every time, Song Yu would turn around and wait for him. Except for the last time.


    Song Yu walked away without looking back, his shadows of his receding figure disappearing rapidly. His surroundings melted and trickled down, the scene monstrous and bizarre, and everything was dyed red, turning into boiling, viscous lava that wrapped around Yue Zhishi. He couldn¡¯t breathe and had nowhere to escape.


    When he was about to suffocate, Yue Zhishi woke up as if in self-protection. It felt like there was someone calling his name from below his bed, but he couldn¡¯t lift up his eyelids at all ¡ª he could only feel his swollen and painful eyes and the extreme aching in his bones. He used some effort to turn over, mumbling out a response from inside his blanket.


    He seemed to hear Jiang Yufan and Shen Mi¡¯s voices. Jiang Yufan said he needed to go out and asked Shen Mi for help, but these sounds seemed to reach Yue Zhishi through a wall and didn¡¯t seem real at all. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t feel anything concrete until Shen Mi and Jiang Yufan pooled their strength together and brought him down from his bed.


    Pain ¡ª it was everywhere.


    Jiang Yufan pulled a long woollen knit over Yue Zhishi. Thinking Yue Zhishi¡¯s legs might be too weak, he asked, ¡°Le Le, do you think you can walk?¡±


    Yue Zhishi heard him clearly and nodded, his voice feeble. ¡°Yes, I¡¯m fine.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t talk anymore. How can you be fine when you¡¯re burning up so badly?¡± The sound of Shen Mi¡¯s voice was a bit high, and Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart shook as he listened. He didn¡¯t say anything to contradict him, but he very stubbornly insisted on walking by himself. The other two people had no choice but to hold him up and support him down the building. By the time they were walking on the stairs, Jiang Yufan clearly felt Yue Zhishi drifting back into unconsciousness.


    So when they came out of the building, Jiang Yufan immediately called a taxi ¡ª but his teacher called him, asking where he was, and he had to leave. ¡°Shen Mi, I really have to go. Are you going to be okay by yourself?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. You should go, I¡¯ll call you later.¡±


    ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll go look for you guys at the hospital once I¡¯m done.¡±


    At the end, only two of them remained, and the wind under the dormitory building seemed to blow Yue Zhishi a bit more awake. He mumbled that he didn¡¯t want to go to the hospital, that he didn¡¯t like the hospital, and Shen Mi patiently tried to persuade him before he finally pulled Yue Zhishi¡¯s arm over, wanting to carry him on his back. But Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t willing to get on; he knew Shen Mi was going to take him to the hospital.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to go, I hate going to the hospital.¡± Yue Zhishi spoke with great difficulty, and he kept repeating it over and over, his words disjointed and muddled.


    Shen Mi stopped caring that he refused to go and directly pulled him over to forcefully get him on his back.


    But very soon, blinding high beams stopped his movements. Shen Mi looked over, frowning, and realised a black car was coming closer. He could guess who the person in the car was, and it was exactly who he expected.


    Song Yu came out of the car, his steps very swift. Shen Mi¡¯s actions stiffened, and he placed down Yue Zhishi, keeping hold of his wrist. Yue Zhishi looked completely unwilling ¡ª unwilling to go to the hospital ¡ª but in Song Yu¡¯s eyes, the reason for his unwillingness turned into something else.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    Even though Shen Mi gripped onto Yue Zhishi very tightly, Song Yu was still able to bring Yue Zhishi over in one motion.


    Yue Zhishi had clearly been so insistent just then, but it was like he gave up the moment he heard Song Yu¡¯s voice. He leaned against Song Yu¡¯s body.


    As their skin came into contact with each other, Song Yu only then realised something was wrong with Yue Zhishi. He lifted a hand to touch Yue Zhishi¡¯s forehead and then looked at Shen Mi.


    Shen Mi¡¯s face was steady and calm. ¡°He¡¯s sick. I was going to take him to the hospital. It¡¯s that simple.¡±


    Song Yu stared at him and said thank you after a few seconds. ¡°He has a terrible temper when he¡¯s sick. You won¡¯t be able to handle it. I¡¯ll drive him over.¡± He lifted up the half conscious Yue Zhishi horizontally, carrying him into the car, and closed the passenger seat¡¯s door.


    He turned around and saw Shen Mi who¡¯d subconsciously followed over. He felt apologetic for misunderstanding him, and Song Yu¡¯s voice gentled slightly. ¡°You should head back to your dorm, I¡¯ll contact you on WeChat if anything happens.¡±


    But for some reason ¡ª maybe because of that sentence, or maybe because of the sentence before ¡ª Shen Mi was unexpectedly infuriated. The hands he¡¯d left next to his body tightened into fists, and he glared at Song Yu from half a metre away. He said, using a moderately loud voice, ¡°I¡¯ll tell you directly. I like Yue Zhishi.¡±


    Song Yu wasn¡¯t surprised. He turned his head over to double check if Yue Zhishi was still sleeping, and then he twisted back around to continue confronting Shen Mi.


    ¡°I really liked him from the first time I saw him on the bus. That¡¯s why I ran after him in the rain to return his phone, and that¡¯s why I actively requested to transfer classes. Yue Zhishi looks like he¡¯s really easy to get close to, but he actually doesn¡¯t open his heart very easily. So I¡¯ve been working hard, hoping to get a bit more space in his heart. Do you understand how that feels?¡±


    Song Yu listened to Shen Mi speak very solemnly. He thought if Yue Zhishi heard these words, he might¡¯ve been very touched ¡ª but unfortunately, he was Song Yu.


    ¡°What¡¯s the point in you telling me all this?¡±


    Shen Mi laughed, as if he was extremely unsatisfied with Song Yu¡¯s attitude of ignoring everything he said. ¡°You can continue pretending. To be honest, I¡¯ve felt like you and I were the same since the first time I saw you. We¡¯re both people with ulterior motives, so why don¡¯t we reveal our cards and fight fairly. There¡¯s no need for you to act like you have a higher identity than me ¡ª it¡¯s not like your feelings are more important than mine.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s your identity, a friend? A classmate?¡± Song Yu looked at him indifferently, and then bluntly lay bare Shen Mi¡¯s thoughts. ¡°You¡¯re just using that as a pretence to continue getting closer to the person you want to approach.¡±


    Shen Mi bitterly smiled. ¡°Then what about you?¡±


    Song Yu stared at his eyes.


    Shen Mi dropped his gaze briefly and then fearlessly looked at him again. ¡°By relying on your identity as his older brother, by relying on the emotional foundation you¡¯ve accumulated over so many years, you do so many ambiguous, boundary-crossing things to Yue Zhishi. You enjoy how he worships you and how he¡¯s unwilling to leave you, and yet you¡¯re not willing to break through the layer between the two of you with your own hands. Song Yu, have you seen it when Yue Zhishi¡¯s unhappy? Have you seen how your actions have affected him? Do you know about the distress and pain he feels because of you? Or are you pretending to not know?¡±


    ¡°Song Yu, just exactly how are you better than me?¡±


    Seeing Song Yu not say a single word, Shen Mi thought this was useless. There was no point in a one-sided provocation, and there was also no point in exposing the truth like this. He went around Song Yu¡¯s shoulder to glance at Yue Zhishi; his head curved onto the car window, his face unclear.


    He pushed down his emotions, finally saying to Song Yu, ¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re thinking, and I¡¯m not bothered enough to care. Song Yu, you can either sincerely be a good older brother with clear boundaries, or you can just give up your lofty, respectable identity. I can¡¯t see you being able to continue with it anyway.¡±


    Up until Shen Mi left and entered into another dormitory building, Song Yu didn¡¯t speak. He felt extremely unwell ¡ª he¡¯d been bound with this ¡®older brother¡¯ identity since he was six years old, and it didn¡¯t matter if he wanted it or not. The identity had already become a layer of his skin attached onto his body.


    Shen Mi¡¯s words were like a knife, sharply cutting off this fake layer of skin. Song Yu had no choice but to face the bloody and mutilated truth.


    He truly did want to continue drifting along, leaving things alone.


    By the time he returned back to his car, Song Yu was still unable to calm down his emotions. He drove towards the hospital, the car moving very quickly, and he distantly had a very scary thought. He might actually be willing for another car to suddenly appear and crash into him ¡ª after all, Yue Zhishi was here.


    But this thought lasted for only a second. He rapidly lowered the car¡¯s speed and forced himself to continue driving calmly, arriving safely at the hospital. He once again carried Yue Zhishi up, and he realised he was lighter than he¡¯d imagined. There were many people in the emergency room, and Yue Zhishi rested against Song Yu as he sat in the seats in the corridor. He¡¯d occasionally open his eyes to look around before he closed them again in pain.


    When it came time for Yue Zhishi¡¯s turn, he suddenly recovered a bit of energy. He¡¯d clearly not been willing to come, and yet he cooperated with the doctor very well as he faced him.


    ¡°The fever¡¯s at 39.4 degrees.¡± The doctor spoke flatly, telling them they should¡¯ve come earlier. Song Yu was even more remorseful; he didn¡¯t even know Yue Zhishi had a cold.


    Yue Zhishi had changed ¡ª Song Yu was just afraid of admitting it. Past Yue Zhishi would¡¯ve told him everything, offered every little bit of information to Song Yu like a treasure, but now, he no longer did.


    ¡°Allergic to any medication?¡±


    Song Yu said yes and listed out every drug Yue Zhishi was allergic to.


    ¡°Who are you to the patient?¡± the doctor asked.


    Song Yu paused for two seconds, struggling, and then replied, ¡°Older brother.¡±


    ¡°The fever¡¯s not too serious. He doesn¡¯t need to stay in the hospital, and we don¡¯t have space right now anyway. But I see he has a history of allergic asthma. Asthma can be easily triggered by a cold and a cough, so I¡¯ve prescribed a cough medicine. You need to watch over and take care of him the next few days. Go pay around the corner on the right and then take him to get an IV drip.¡±


    Song Yu sat next to Yue Zhishi during the transfusion, telling him to rest on his shoulder. There was nothing he could do, and there was nothing he wanted to do, so he quietly stared at a stained patch on the hospital¡¯s white walls. Yue Zhishi seemed to hazily recover some consciousness, opening his mouth to say he wanted some water, and Song Yu pulled out the bottle of mineral water he¡¯d prepared earlier. After twisting open the cap, he placed the bottle next to his mouth, slanting it to pour in some water.


    But Yue Zhishi struggled to swallow, and even though Song Yu raised the bottle very slowly, a lot of water still trickled from Yue Zhishi¡¯s mouth. He grabbed a tissue and wiped Yue Zhishi dry.


    He heard Yue Zhishi painfully call him gege. For no reason at all, Song Yu suddenly felt angry. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you say you were sick?¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s reactions were delayed due to his illness. His face was flushed red from his fever, unable to take in enough air when he spoke, and yet he still reached out to touch Song Yu¡¯s arm without realising it. He didn¡¯t speak, only using this method to admit his mistake and ask for forgiveness.


    His hand was very pale, his veins visible, and a thin, short needle was inserted into the back of his hand. Song Yu thought, there was going to be a very obvious bruise there tomorrow.


    Yue Zhishi was someone easily injured.


    As he thought of this, the pain and worry he felt for Yue Zhishi once again defeated his anger, and so he stroked Yue Zhishi¡¯s wrist, treating it as a silent comfort.


    ¡°Next time you¡¯re sick, you need to tell me immediately.¡±


    He didn¡¯t know if Yue Zhishi heard his words or not, because Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t do anything at all. He seemed to have closed his eyes once again due to his lack of energy. Song Yu flipped open Yue Zhishi¡¯s medical record he held in his hand, saw the word ¡®allergy¡¯, and his mind started to wander.


    He became aware that he himself seemed to often suffer from an allergy. It would flare up whenever he broke a taboo, and he would only wake up after it attacked. Except the more he wasn¡¯t allowed to touch something, the more he wanted to touch it ¡ª the taboo was meant to restrain desire, but instead, it gave birth to an even greater desire that was about to consume him.


    Yue Zhishi was Song Yu¡¯s one and only allergen.


    The night sky outside the window darkened as they sat there, and yet the hospital corridor was still so noisy. After finishing two bags of infusions, Song Yu brought Yue Zhishi and left the hospital.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s impression of hospitals was always very terrible. He always went in when he was feeling most unwell, and he was forced to let other people give him all sorts of tests. He used to always cry when he was a child because he¡¯d thought it would be useful to do so, but reality proved otherwise. No matter how hard he cried or how loudly he screamed, illnesses that needed to be checked still needed to be checked.


    From falling asleep after his shower, to spending time in the hospital, to waking up in the middle of the night in a foreign place ¡ª Yue Zhishi was delirious for all the time in between. He was like a piece of self-igniting wood with no awareness, lifeless yet dangerous. This time, he woke again and realised everything around him was unfamiliar. The cream-coloured ceiling was very low, like a thick layer of clouds pressing down on him, and the blanket and bedding on his body were in the same dark colours Song Yu liked using. But they were all new without a single hint of Song Yu¡¯s smell on them at all.


    A faint light came from the bedside table. Yue Zhishi pushed himself up and borrowed the light to look around ¡ª the room wasn¡¯t large, and even though he hadn¡¯t come here before, it was decorated a bit like Song Yu¡¯s room.


    He touched his own forehead, thinking the fever was pretty much gone, but he was still weak. He wanted to get off the bed, but he could only move slowly.


    The door opened, and Yue Zhishi met Song Yu¡¯s eyes just as he was pulling away the blanket. Song Yu was bringing in some porridge. It was a bit awkward; Yue Zhishi froze, not knowing if he should continue getting off the bed, or if he should get back underneath the blanket.


    ¡°Lie back down. Do you want to get a fever again?¡± Song Yu placed the porridge onto the bedside table, forcefully pulling the blanket back over Yue Zhishi¡¯s body.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t say anything, seeming to lean back against the headboard obediently, and watched as Song Yu stood there above him. Song Yu lightly stirred the plain porridge in the bowl with a stainless steel spoon.


    He¡¯d never used stainless steel cutlery before, and even the bowl looked like it came from somewhere random.


    Everything looked very hastily prepared.


    ¡°You¡¯ll need to take some more medicine after food, you should feel better after sleeping. The doctor said it¡¯s not very serious.¡± He sat onto the bed and stretched out a hand, looking as if he was going to feed him.


    But Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t obediently shift closer automatically like he used to do. He simply didn¡¯t want to eat. His stomach really hurt, but it didn¡¯t feel like a stomachache ¡ª it was a dull, deep gnawing, as if something was being torn apart inside.


    Song Yu could see his resistance. ¡°At least have a few bites.¡±


    ¡°All right.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice was very soft. He reached out a hand, wanting to take the bowl from Song Yu, but Song Yu put the bowl back down. He could see Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want him to feed him.


    ¡°If you don¡¯t want to eat now, you can wait until it¡¯s cooled down a bit.¡±


    Yue Zhishi dropped his eyes, sealing shut his lips. He fixed his eyes on the blanket covering his body and painfully managed to swallow back a cough. Song Yu touched his forehead again, briefly checking his temperature, and then took his hand back.


    Song Yu¡¯s heart eased ¡ª Yue Zhishi was no longer burning up. He pulled out all of the medicine Yue Zhishi needed to take and separated them out onto the table according to dosage. He¡¯d just lifted his head when he heard Yue Zhishi ask: ¡°What is this place?¡±


    His face was very pale, but his voice sounded fairly relaxed ¡ª as if he was asking only a random question.


    ¡°An apartment I¡¯m renting.¡± Song Yu counted the tablets again. There was one missing.


    Yue Zhishi first very lightly released a hum, and then he took a deep breath; this time, he couldn¡¯t hold back his coughing. He turned his face away when Song Yu turned to look at him. He didn¡¯t know that Song Yu had said he had a terrible temper when he was sick. If he¡¯d heard, he definitely would¡¯ve hurriedly denied it. He was actually very obedient ¡ª he only made a fuss because he was scared.


    Song Yu called out Yue Zhishi¡¯s name, prepared to feed him the medicine, but the coughing eventually stopped by itself. Yue Zhishi turned his head over to look at Song Yu, his gaze a bit empty.


    ¡°Why¡¯d you rent a place?¡±


    He waited for a long while, and yet Song Yu didn¡¯t give him a response. Yue Zhishi usually would only ask a question once in order to not annoy Song Yu, but this time, he asked very insensitively again, ¡°Why are you moving out?¡± He lowered his head to look at the blanket after the question left his mouth.


    A layer of sweat covered Song Yu¡¯s palms. He didn¡¯t look at Yue Zhishi and only gave him a brief reason. ¡°It¡¯s easier to live by myself.¡±


    ¡°I see.¡± Yue Zhishi was still smiling at the beginning, and then he continued asking, ¡°Then who did you want to leave this bed to? Who did you want to go with to get all the cutlery you haven¡¯t had time to buy? And then, in this apartment ¡ª who did you want to cook with, eat with and sleep together with?¡±


    His questions were thrown out one after another. He grew agitated to the point he was about to break apart, his voice shaking. Song Yu didn¡¯t expect and didn¡¯t really understand why Yue Zhishi became angry at such a minor thing like renting a place; he had still been okay at the hospital. Song Yu was very distressed, so he reached out a hand, catching Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand that was tightly clutching the blanket, trying to console him.


    ¡°Be good. Don¡¯t be like this.¡±


    ¡°What am I like?¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes were red, tears stubbornly gathering and yet not falling. ¡°Am I not obedient enough?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve asked you before if I was really strange like this. You said I wasn¡¯t, you said I was only afraid of separating from you.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice slightly trembled, so he took a small pause. ¡°No matter what you said, I listened and followed along. Even if you treated me like a child, I still believed you.¡±


    He couldn¡¯t find anything he wanted to see in Song Yu¡¯s face. He lowered his head and accidentally saw the red rash on the inside of his arm. He rubbed the rash with his fingers, his face blank ¡ª the rash turned angrier, and he muttered, ¡°An allergic reaction again. I¡¯m still so sensitive.¡±


    Yue Zhishi broke down without warning ¡ª that mild allergic reaction became the final straw and overwhelmed him, and he cried bitterly like a child. ¡°Why I am still reacting¡­ Weren¡¯t you at the hospital? Didn¡¯t you tell the doctor I was allergic? You keep things away from me so carefully, but did that help me at all?¡±


    Nan Jia was right: he really was in uncontrollable pain. He convulsively sobbed, struggling to breathe, and yet he still raised his head to stare at Song Yu. The tears clouded his sight, so Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t see what look Song Yu had on his face. He actually really, really wanted to see clearly, and this made him even more angry. He didn¡¯t want to look anymore.


    Yue Zhishi felt very fragile, but he didn¡¯t plead for Song Yu to hug him like he did in the past.


    He curled up, hugging his knees and burying his head into the crook of his arms. ¡°It was no use at all. I still ended up liking you.¡±

 CH 56

    Chapter 56: To Take a Jump


    Song Yu had never imagined hearing that last sentence.


    His first reaction after hearing it was to think he was hallucinating: Yue Zhishi was only talking about his allergy and nothing else. After all, he truly wasn¡¯t himself tonight ¡ª he¡¯d even wanted to die earlier when he was driving.


    Song Yu had never given himself the opportunity to hope for Yue Zhishi to return his feelings. The world was so large ¡ª it was already so unlikely for two people to meet, and they¡¯d even become family members who could be with each other for their entire lives.


    What else could he ask for?


    He approached Yue Zhishi with a very narrow view because of this fixed way of thinking; he kept thinking he was very pure and very innocent because he¡¯d been brought up with such love and care. Song Yu would sometimes even lose sight of what Yue Zhishi had lost, thinking he must be happy.


    The now grown up Yue Zhishi fell to pieces and cried in utter pain in front of him ¡ª it was the first time Song Yu had ever felt so lost, not knowing what to do.


    The hand covering the back of Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand shifted unnaturally. It felt like a very anguished feeling kept transmitting through this connection, pouring into Song Yu¡¯s heart.


    As expected, he truly was a failure as a rock. He looked so strong and stubborn on the outside, and yet his inner heart was an utter mess, soft and weak.


    Song Yu touched Yue Zhishi¡¯s head, called out his nickname in a very soft voice and pulled him into his arms.


    Yue Zhishi actually didn¡¯t want Song Yu to see him cry. He didn¡¯t want him to see such fragile parts of him, but he wasn¡¯t a mature adult. He had a limited threshold, and he could only bear it up to here.


    He buried his face into Song Yu¡¯s shoulder, his tears mixing into the cotton fibres of Song Yu¡¯s jacket. Yue Zhishi felt much lighter after saying it out loud ¡ª he didn¡¯t expect much to begin with, so he didn¡¯t wait for a response. Song Yu had always treated him very well, and he probably wouldn¡¯t reject him as coldly and resolutely as he rejected other people. He was more likely to try to persuade him.


    The aching from his sickness both clouded and cleared his mind, and all of the possible things Song Yu could say passed through his brain. He told himself he couldn¡¯t cry anymore. He honestly looked really ugly when he cried.


    Song Yu¡¯s hand kept softly patting his back. It was only just a few years ago when Song Yu still hadn¡¯t known how to comfort him, when he¡¯d had to personally grab his hand and tell him he needed to pat like that when comforting someone.


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but grow upset again. He thought again of what he¡¯d just done and felt he had been too aggressive. It felt like he was always forcing Song Yu, again and again. He¡¯d forced him to stay with him when it thundered, forced him to accept him staying behind and even forced him to admit he was his gege in front of everyone.


    But now, after he¡¯d smashed the relationship in between them so impulsively ¡ª how should Song Yu face him? How could they go back to how they were like before? He really didn¡¯t want to become one of Song Yu¡¯s burdens.


    Yue Zhishi started to regret it again.


    But Song Yu¡¯s embrace was truly too intoxicating. It was the most powerful hallucinogen in the world, and even if he knew best how many failed examples were ahead of him, even if he knew he¡¯d definitely leave with bloody, dripping injuries after plunging straight in ¡ª he could still only smell the blood red and candied smell of roses.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t cry anymore. He acutely sensed the hesitation and indecisiveness in Song Yu¡¯s breathing, as if he was about to say something. He was very scared, and before he could be pushed away, he grabbed Song Yu¡¯s back.


    Sure enough, he heard Song Yu speak.


    ¡°Can you repeat what you just said?¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice was very low, and it carried a rarely heard uncertainty and confusion, as if he really did think it was his problem. He didn¡¯t even dare to repeat what he heard.


    This surprised Yue Zhishi. He didn¡¯t know what Song Yu was trying to do ¡ª or was he going to laugh at his feelings?


    ¡°I said I like you.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s face remained hidden away. He emphasised, voice filled with tears, ¡°I really do.¡±


    He felt Song Yu¡¯s body slacken, his chest heaving for a long time. He didn¡¯t know if he¡¯d frightened him. Yue Zhishi lifted his head and used his tear swollen eyes to look at him, quietly calling out gege.


    He couldn¡¯t tell if Song Yu¡¯s face was upset or smiling. Song Yu took Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand, his fingertips lightly caressing the rash on his arm.


    ¡°How come there¡¯s still an allergic reaction¡­¡± He spoke very weakly.


    Yue Zhishi thought, as expected, he was confused and didn¡¯t know what to do. From the first moment he¡¯d appeared in Song Yu¡¯s life, he¡¯d persistently created trouble for Song Yu.


    Even though Song Yu had clearly done nothing wrong.


    He heard it start to rain outside the window, the constant pitter-pattering noise of the rain seeping into the room. This place was truly very nice ¡ª it was Song Yu¡¯s style. The ceiling to floor curtains in the room covered up everything, but they should be able to see beautiful views during the day.


    It was as nice as that turquoise stone. In his heart, Yue Zhishi silently said, at least the first person to receive a memento and the first person to use this apartment ¡ª was him.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi.¡± After what felt like a century, Song Yu was finally willing to speak to him. His eyelids were lowered, his hand still holding on his arm, and his voice was solemn. ¡°Out of the things I¡¯m going to say, there are some things that might cause you to misunderstand me. But I¡¯ve never wanted to trick you, and neither am I doubting you. It¡¯s just that there are more things for me to consider. Okay?¡±


    He frowned briefly and gazed at Yue Zhishi from ten centimetres away, waiting until Yue Zhishi nodded with his red eyes. He only then continued. ¡°You¡¯re sick right now. You¡¯ve only just stopped having a fever, and this is not the best time to make a decision. Is this something you¡¯ve carefully thought about, or are you actually not sure and can¡¯t tell whether you feel familial affection for me or¡­¡±


    He hesitated for a moment and only then pushed out with great difficulty, ¡°Love.¡± After he finished speaking, Song Yu seemed to belatedly remember something and grabbed up the thin khaki coloured woollen quilt on top of the blanket, circling it around Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulders and wrapping him up.


    ¡°Can I answer now?¡± Yue Zhishi coughed twice and then struggled to hold back from further coughing.


    Song Yu dipped his head, looking at his eyes.


    ¡°I was confused before, but now I¡¯m sure I can tell the difference.¡± Yue Zhishi stared at Song Yu¡¯s long and slender fingers, his head lowered. He said, nose blocked, ¡°Song Yu, I¡¯m nineteen years old.¡±


    Maybe it was because he couldn¡¯t breathe smoothly, but that last sentence of his sounded particularly feeble. Song Yu didn¡¯t have the heart to point out that he hadn¡¯t actually had his birthday yet.


    Yue Zhishi felt like Song Yu didn¡¯t believe him, so he asked, ¡°How do you define what love is? You¡¯re the person I like the most, and other than to you, I wouldn¡¯t feel the same way to anyone else. I only want to be together with you for all twenty-four hours. I like hugging you, and I really want to hold your hand when I¡¯m walking with you. When I saw that couple kissing on the plank bridge, I¡­¡±


    His voice dropped, slightly losing confidence. ¡°I also wanted to kiss you.¡±


    Confessions should be made using more romantic words and expressions.


    But Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t able to do it. As a young person, he didn¡¯t have the rich experience and history to draw from, and he wasn¡¯t able to find all that many heart-stirring words. He could only slowly, timidly and impatiently cut open his chest blazing with love and let Song Yu see. Song Yu was born with a face everyone adored; Yue Zhishi felt he was a desperately poor child, afraid of not being worth much even after taking out all his money ¡ª afraid he still wouldn¡¯t be valuable in Song Yu¡¯s eyes.


    But Song Yu raised his hand, touching and stroking his face. He seemed to really want to say something, but he didn¡¯t say it at the end.


    Yue Zhishi was a bit dizzy. He asked, ¡°Do you think I¡¯m being very hasty?¡±


    Song Yu shook his head. ¡°No, I¡¯m just really surprised.¡±


    Anyone would be surprised at a little brother who¡¯d grown up together with you suddenly having these kinds of improper thoughts.


    ¡°You¡­¡± Yue Zhishi pressed his lips together. He swallowed back the question he wanted to ask. Green and blue veins could be faintly seen on his thin and white eyelids, and his eyelashes were slightly trembling. ¡°I interrupted you just then. You can continue what you were going to say now.¡±


    The rain outside the window fell harder, and Yue Zhishi hoped it wouldn¡¯t thunder. Or else he would fall to pieces even more, and Song Yu might not stay with him after hearing his confession.


    Song Yu actually didn¡¯t want to see Yue Zhishi acting so uneasily. He was very happy after hearing those words, but he was also worried and fearful, feeling as though he¡¯d created all this with his own hands. The sweetness Yue Zhishi was currently giving him ¡ª it was the cookie he¡¯d personally fed him all those years ago. He had no way of predicting what was going to happen in the future.


    ¡°Le Le.¡± Song Yu gripped Yue Zhishi¡¯s fingers. ¡°Why did you suddenly get angry when you heard I rented an apartment?¡±


    Yue Zhishi corrected him. ¡°I wasn¡¯t angry, I was upset.¡± And then he slowly explained, ¡°They all say you have someone you like. I thought you wanted to be like senior Qin Yan and move in with someone, and then, just like when I was in high school¡­ hide from me.¡±


    ¡°What kind of person do you like?¡± Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but ask.


    Song Yu¡¯s palm, broad and dry, covered his hand. He tossed a question back at him. ¡°What do you think?¡±


    Head lowered, Yue Zhishi feebly listed out the conditions he¡¯d considered many times. ¡°Someone mature, independent, who wouldn¡¯t pester you for no reason, who would give you personal space¡­¡­ Someone who¡¯d better be beautiful, too.¡± He added the last condition himself. He felt like Song Yu didn¡¯t really care about appearances, or else senior Nan Jia would already be extremely suitable.


    He didn¡¯t realise he¡¯d been frowning until Song Yu softly rubbed at the centre of his eyebrows. ¡°Looks like our senses of beauty really are completely different.¡±


    Yue Zhishi lifted his eyes, giving him a glance, and his lips subconsciously pressed together.


    ¡°Other than that last bit, everything else doesn¡¯t match.¡± Song Yu gazed at him, his eyes warm and gentle. ¡°Even completely opposite.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t understand and sniffed, slightly disdaining his preferences. ¡°You actually like someone childish and clingy, someone who likes to bother you.¡± No wonder he didn¡¯t like senior Nan Jia.


    ¡°Yes. I like a beautiful idiot.¡±


    After frankly and openly saying it, Song Yu leaned in and kissed Yue Zhishi¡¯s forehead.


    This unexpected movement scared Yue Zhishi into lifting his head, his tears covered eyes very wide and filled with shock and disbelief as he looked at Song Yu. He was like a little puppy who¡¯d been hit with an apple ¡ª he blinked multiple times, not understanding what happened.


    He called out gege very weakly. This was something he was used to doing every time he wasn¡¯t sure what to do.


    ¡°At least don¡¯t call me that anymore.¡± Song Yu smiled wryly. ¡°Don¡¯t remind me.¡±


    ¡°From a very long time ago, I didn¡¯t want to be just your older brother.¡±


    He¡¯d walked on the wire rope as carefully as though he was walking on thin ice, struggling for so long. Morals and ethics pulled at him on one side, and the love accumulated over days and months pulled at him from the other side. No matter which side he fell, it would still be into endlessly burning lava, raging with flames.


    Seeing Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes once again gathering with tears, Song Yu stroked his eyes. ¡°There¡¯s no one else. There¡¯s never been.¡±


    He wasn¡¯t willing for Yue Zhishi to be in pain; as long as he stood by one side and beckoned to him, Song Yu would jump down from the wire immediately. So many years of misgivings and struggles ¡ª they collapsed against a single don¡¯t reject me from Yue Zhishi.


    It felt good to jump down. Even if he chose wrongly, he would still stand in front of Yue Zhishi, blocking and taking all the blame.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s mind was completely blank, his fingertips numb, and was even more at a loss than before. His weak body from the fever also slowed down his thinking, and he frowned uneasily. He didn¡¯t care if he sounded childish or not, thoughtlessly asking, ¡°Really?¡±


    Song Yu solemnly nodded. ¡°I can also answer the questions you asked me before you started crying. I rented this apartment for you. Not to hide from you ¡ª but because you¡¯re always falling sick, and it¡¯s not convenient to take care of you in the dorms. It¡¯s too far to go home, so I needed to find a place where you could rest.¡±


    ¡°The landlord gave me the keys two days ago. I actually didn¡¯t go out for a surface survey today. I came to furnish the place, so yes, there truly hasn¡¯t been anyone else who¡¯ve lived here. The bowl is new ¡ª I bought it downstairs out of urgency. I originally wanted to find an excuse over the weekend to take you shopping at Ikea.¡±


    He stood up, drawing open the curtains. A layer of rain covered the ceiling to floor windows, blurring the quiet yet resplendent lake view.


    ¡°You said you wanted to see the lake. Is this okay?¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice was a bit nervous. ¡°I was really in a rush. It still might not be good enough, but it¡¯s much better than Qin Yan¡¯s place.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s tears flowed down again. He wiped the tears away with the back of his hand, but there were more tears the more he wiped until he finally wrapped the woollen quilt around himself, not letting Song Yu see him. How could something so good happen to him ¡ª how could he still be crying so shamefully.


    In the shadowy, hazy light, he sensed Song Yu coming closer. His footsteps were softened by the carpet, becoming tender and gentle, and he sat down, a small piece of Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart sinking down with him.


    ¡°Le Le, I¡¯ve liked you for a very long time. Even though I¡¯ve questioned your feelings, please forgive me. Don¡¯t question my heart for you.¡±


    After considering it repeatedly, Song Yu still decided to splash a basin of cold water over Yue Zhishi and over himself.


    ¡°But right now, you and I are both feeling very emotional. A large part of you liking me might have come from the dependency you hold towards an older brother. There are actually many, many people better than me in this world ¡ª I was the one who limited your field of vision.¡± He no longer sounded as calm as before, but he did his best to control his feelings, to finish saying what he needed to say.


    ¡°We¡¯ll be up against many problems¡­¡± A touch of evasion grew in his heart. He didn¡¯t really want to continue speaking, and Yue Zhishi also didn¡¯t let him continue. He fumbled about, grabbing onto Song Yu¡¯s hand, and very forcefully linked their fingers together, as if showing his determination.


    Song Yu laughed a bit helplessly, and said one sentence he¡¯d thought he would never say.


    ¡°Let¡¯s give it a try.¡± He added, somewhat uncertainly, ¡°If you want.¡±


    The woollen quilt was still on top of Yue Zhishi¡¯s head. He forgot about it, absorbed in eagerly, excitedly lifting his head, and yet he couldn¡¯t even see Song Yu¡¯s face.


    Just a try. If you meet someone you like more, you can go back on what you¡¯ve said. You can leave whenever you want.


    Song Yu only said it silently in his heart, afraid his words might disappoint Yue Zhishi. He took them as a warning to himself.


    Even though he¡¯d only said they¡¯d give it a try, Yue Zhishi was already beyond happy, taking off the quilt on his face with exhilaration and happiness. He accidentally ended up hiccuping, so he quickly covered his face again, as if he could pretend nothing happened by doing so.


    ¡°Then can you kiss my forehead again?¡± He hiccupped again, and the words ¡®beautiful idiot¡¯ drifted across his mind.


    ¡°Sure,¡± Song Yu said.


    Separated by the quilt, Yue Zhishi felt Song Yu¡¯s warm breath drawing near, and his heart started to race.


    And yet that warm kiss didn¡¯t land on his forehead as promised ¡ª it landed on his lips, soft fibres in between.


    Song Yu opened up the thin quilt after he moved his lips away and wrapped his arms around him. He¡¯d matured early at a precocious age, and in front of this love that went against the ethics of the world, he showed an unprecedented clumsiness, passiveness and solemness.


    ¡°No matter how long this may last, I will still treasure you very, very much.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Maybe because the double-sided arrows in my novels are always extraordinarily thick, but once one person confesses, the other person won¡¯t be willing to reject him no matter what ¡ª the emotional journey between them has been connected. I also think getting together can be one of the climaxes of the story, it doesn¡¯t have to be the end. From beginning their relationship to learning how to love each other, they still need to go through many, many things.


    But no matter what, these little puppies are about to begin their journey of cautious and inexperienced first love.

 CH 57

    Chapter 57: Limited Sweetness


    The rain seemed to have lightened. Wrapped in Song Yu¡¯s arms, Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t hear the sounds of rain; he could only hear his rapidly beating heart.


    He felt completely dizzy, his arms and legs weak and sore. Everything felt too good to be true, just like the display items in glass windows ¡ª he wanted them even in his dreams, but he was always separated by a transparent barrier. He could only look at them and not touch.


    When he heard Song Yu say they could give it a try, Yue Zhishi¡¯s first reaction was to think he was dreaming. He¡¯d already passed the night in an utter daze with only a few slices of memories, and who knows: maybe he was still in his dorm, Song Yu hadn¡¯t come to take him to the hospital and there was no rented apartment.


    But Yue Zhishi thought again ¡ª based on his usual quality of sleep whenever he was sick, he definitely wouldn¡¯t be able to have such a good dream.


    Seeing Yue Zhishi not speaking for so long, Song Yu lowered his head to look at him. He saw his eyes wide open, his two arms loosely wrapped around his waist, looking as if he was lost in his thoughts.


    Song Yu recalled his words just then. They truly couldn¡¯t be considered as an acceptable confession. He didn¡¯t seem to have said all that many suitable and sweet words. Other than pouring cold water, he¡¯d only said instructional words.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, are you a bit disappointed?¡±


    Yue Zhishi jerked up his head, staring at Song Yu. Doubt slightly filled his eyes.


    Song Yu self-consciously shifted away his eyes. ¡°Should I have bought a gift, or maybe furnished this place a bit prettier.¡±


    ¡°Then I would be even less likely to have that sort of dream.¡± Yue Zhishi responded with a sentence that came out of nowhere. Song Yu frowned in confusion.


    But Yue Zhishi still felt very blissful ¡ª he clung to Song Yu, unwilling to let go, and stuck his cheek onto the skin of his collarbones. He didn¡¯t call him gege, only earnestly calling out his name.


    ¡°Song Yu.¡±


    ¡°Hm?¡± Song Yu gave him a response, his palm covering Yue Zhishi¡¯s nape.


    Yue Zhishi shook his head, squeezing Song Yu tighter.


    The reply that had been delivered through pen and paper appeared in front of him now, changed into a warm embrace he could take shelter in. Since he was three years old, Song Yu had been a beautiful dream Yue Zhishi chased after.


    This beautiful dream was out of reach to everyone else, but Yue Zhishi was lucky ¡ª he was an exception. He only needed to work just a bit harder, cling just a bit tighter, and he was able to touch that hidden tail, obtaining that gentle touch no one else saw. It was because of this that so many unrealistic fantasies grew in Yue Zhishi.


    Little brothers never yearned to stay with their older brothers for their entire lives. It wasn¡¯t like he¡¯d never doubted his own unjustifiable behaviour and way of thinking, but Song Yu had said he could. So he¡¯d believed him all this time, until he broke though this fake safety zone by himself.


    The separation anxiety he held towards Song Yu wasn¡¯t because Song Yu was a very good older brother. It also wasn¡¯t because he was a little brother who never grew up ¡ª it was solely because he liked him.


    ¡°I really like you.¡± Yue Zhishi nuzzled his face into Song Yu¡¯s collarbone, wriggling without thinking and repeating those words once again. Song Yu shied a bit away from his wriggling and placed his hand on Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Don¡¯t fuss.¡±


    Yue Zhishi said he wasn¡¯t fussing, and he ended up accidentally coughing. He wasn¡¯t able to stop once he started and, worried he¡¯d infect Song Yu, turned away to continue coughing. Song Yu wrapped the quilt around him again, subconsciously looking for the medicine.


    It was just a false alarm. Yue Zhishi stopped coughing very quickly and took the water and the large pile of tablets Song Yu gave him. Cold capsules, cough tablets, allergy pills ¡ª Yue Zhishi very obediently ate them one by one. Except there were truly too many, and so he ran out of patience and swallowed down the last remaining few in Song Yu¡¯s hand all in one go. The pills were both bitter and hard to swallow, and he fell onto the bed, face glum and eyebrows drawn.


    Song Yu touched his forehead, thinking he still had a low fever. ¡°I¡¯ll go heat up the porridge. You should sleep after having some food.¡±


    Yue Zhishi caught his hand, looking as if he didn¡¯t really want to let him leave, but he¡¯d only just caught his hand when he let go again, very docilely saying okay.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be quick.¡± Song Yu patted his hand and went downstairs with the cooled bowl of porridge.


    Only Yue Zhishi was left in the room. He looked around the room once again, and it looked pleasing no matter how he looked at it. It was a bit empty, but Song Yu still needed to take him to Ikea. It¡¯d be best to go tomorrow ¡ª they haven¡¯t shopped at Ikea together before.


    He needed to quickly get better.


    Yue Zhishi felt a bit weak, so he removed the quilt and burrowed into the blanket, wanting to rest for a while.


    The blanket also seemed to be completely new, fluffy and soft, and it held that very new cotton fibre smell. His eyes wandered to his sleeves; he was wearing a pair of black striped pyjamas made of pure cotton, threaded with the smell of Song Yu.


    He went into a daze for a bit, and then he abruptly panicked, stretching out his arm to look at it.


    That wasn¡¯t right ¡ª he remembered he was clearly wearing a pair of dusty blue pyjamas.


    Yue Zhishi shoved away the blanket, looking down at that pair of roomy black pyjamas.


    They really did belong to Song Yu.


    A buzzing noise started in Yue Zhishi¡¯s brain, and he touched the button that was fastened all the way up to his neck. He then looked downwards and pulled open his pants to check. Fortunately, his underwear was still his own.


    When Song Yu returned with the bowl of porridge, he saw Yue Zhishi lying on his stomach like a little puppy, his face completely buried into the pillow.


    ¡°Asleep?¡±


    Yue Zhishi lifted a hand, waving it at him.


    ¡°Then get up and have some porridge.¡±


    Song Yu sat on the side of the bed, forcefully flipping Yue Zhishi over. He realised his face was entirely flushed, and his pair of eyes were still slightly swollen from crying. He looked particularly pitiful. Song Yu very lightly stroked his cheek. ¡°Why¡¯s your face so red.¡±


    Yue Zhishi could feel his ears burning. He was too shy for Song Yu to feed him again, so he grabbed the bowl of porridge sitting on the bedside table by himself and had a bite. It was clearly only a bowl of plain porridge, but it was very sweet.


    ¡°Did you add white sugar?¡± Yue Zhishi asked, his eyes raised.


    ¡°I was worried you wouldn¡¯t be able to eat it.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s really yummy.¡± Yue Zhishi ate spoon after spoon, and he couldn¡¯t continue eating after finishing a bit over half the bowl, giving it back to Song Yu. Knowing Yue Zhishi¡¯s stomach wasn¡¯t feeling well, Song Yu didn¡¯t force him to keep eating. He only told him to drink some warm water and urged him to lay down and sleep.


    ¡°I still have to organise some data.¡± Song Yu leaned over to touch his forehead. Yue Zhishi really wanted him to kiss him again, but Song Yu didn¡¯t, simply stroking him very tenderly from his forehead to his cheek before caressing Yue Zhishi¡¯s earlobe.


    ¡°You¡¯ll feel better after sleeping.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s entire body felt weak and numb after that chain of movements. It was like a tiny electrical current ran underneath his skin, and his brain fogged up even more. He subconsciously reached out and held Song Yu¡¯s hand.


    ¡°Can you not go?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was extremely unsatisfied with the rain today. Since it didn¡¯t thunder, he couldn¡¯t find a suitable excuse and became particularly unconfident.


    Song Yu stared at his eyes and, after a little while, unexpectedly nodded. Yue Zhishi struck while the iron was still hot, pleading for him to sleep together with him, but Song Yu refused, saying they only had one blanket. There would be a gap underneath the blanket while they slept, and Yue Zhishi might catch a cold again.


    ¡°You could grab another blanket.¡±


    He wasn¡¯t able to change his mind, so Song Yu could only grab the blanket from the other room and place it onto the bed. He went to shower and wore a pair of comfortable and clean looking white pyjamas, coming back in with his laptop.


    Yue Zhishi sat on the bed, happily patting the empty blanket next to him. Song Yu had no choice but to turn off all of the other lights in the room, leaving only the little lamp on the bedside table. He then got into his own blanket and started on his work while sitting up in bed.


    After getting his wishes fulfilled, Yue Zhishi obligingly snuggled himself up into his own blanket. He turned onto his side, exposing only his head, and stared at the side of Song Yu¡¯s face without moving. Song Yu had still yet to bring over his glasses, so he occasionally squinted as he looked at the data on his laptop. Whenever he did, Yue Zhishi would squish his face against Song Yu¡¯s blanket.


    He liked him too much. He needed to take a pause to breathe.


    Song Yu focused on his screen without moving his eyes away. ¡°If you don¡¯t sleep, you won¡¯t get better.¡±


    ¡°Then can I continue staying here if I don¡¯t get better?¡± Yue Zhishi shifted slightly closer again to him.


    ¡°Sure. I¡¯ll head back.¡±


    Song Yu started teasing him again. Somewhat hurt, Yue Zhishi retreated backwards a bit. Even though Song Yu didn¡¯t look at him, he still reached out a hand and stroked his hair. ¡°I¡¯m just joking.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve already asked for leave for you. It¡¯s the weekend luckily enough, and you don¡¯t have any classes. We¡¯ll need to be careful the next few days, or else your asthma might start again.¡±


    Yue Zhishi gripped Song Yu¡¯s fingers, softly saying, ¡°Mn.¡±


    The night darkened, the temperature dropping. Yue Zhishi was a bit cold, so he slightly withdrew back into his blanket. Song Yu pretty much also finished his work, and he closed his laptop, putting it on the cupboard. He then turned the lamp down to its weakest level and lay down.


    Yue Zhishi was still looking at him like before, not making a single noise.


    ¡°Is the flu medicine not working?¡± Song Yu also lay on his side, gazing at Yue Zhishi¡¯s light-coloured eyes. ¡°How come you¡¯re not sleepy?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to sleep.¡± Yue Zhishi rapidly blinked, and under the light of the lamp, his thick eyelashes became a soft, downy brown colour. ¡°You might leave after I fall asleep. Isn¡¯t there a room next door? You actually could¡¯ve rented a small, one bedroom apartment.¡±


    His words were too obvious, and the corners of Song Yu¡¯s straight mouth lightly curled up. ¡°I won¡¯t leave.¡±


    He said again, ¡°I won¡¯t leave again.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded and smiled too. His smiling eyes held a very beautiful curve, and they were pure and clean, empty of any worries. Song Yu kept getting distracted, thinking this was all a dream.


    Whenever that happened, he would reach out and touch Yue Zhishi, double checking if he was truly there. Over the course of this one night, he didn¡¯t know how many times he¡¯d double checked.


    Just as he was once again absorbed in his thoughts, Yue Zhishi leaned in. The blankets might have been in between them, but the tips of their noses were almost about to touch. His face was still very red, and he stalled for a while before he finally couldn¡¯t hold it back anymore. ¡°My pyjamas from earlier¡­¡±


    Song Yu raised his eyebrows just a little, only then realising what he meant. ¡°Your clothes were damp from sweating so much while you had a fever. I changed you into a new pair.¡±


    Yue Zhishi pursed his lips. Song Yu saw through his little expression easily and worked hard to not let himself think about the memory of changing his clothes, forcing a peaceful and clear expression on his face.


    ¡°You started showering with me since you were three. I¡¯ve already seen it all.¡±


    Every time he was teased by Song Yu, Yue Zhishi¡¯s face would be covered by a very lively expression, and the look was very much able to please Song Yu ¡ª even if the Song Yu right now was struggling with the lingering memory in his brain. Yue Zhishi said that¡¯s true, that¡¯s true, and the rash on his arm started itching again. He scratched at his arm, a bit irritated.


    ¡°Don¡¯t.¡± Song Yu noticed and pressed down on his arm over the blanket. ¡°The more you scratch, the more the rash will get worse.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s so itchy.¡± Yue Zhishi rolled up his sleeve. As expected, red spread down the inside of his arm.


    He¡¯d be particularly uncomfortable every time a rash appeared on his body. He really enjoyed scratching them when he was younger, and he wouldn¡¯t be able to stop once he started. He didn¡¯t listen no matter what the adults said, and it was only Song Yu who¡¯d thought of a plan ¡ª such as cutting his fingernails completely bare. Yue Zhishi had been very afraid of having his nails trimmed, and he and Song Yu used to sit on their own separate little stools when they were younger, Song Yu holding his hand and gingerly yet coolly clipping his nails. Yue Zhishi was afraid of him cutting into his flesh and kept shrinking away.


    His nails couldn¡¯t scratch after they were trimmed, and Yue Zhishi could only get Song Yu to touch him whenever he felt itchy.


    Just like now.


    ¡°It¡¯s useless touching it.¡± Yue Zhishi looked unhappy. ¡°It¡¯s still really itchy. Why don¡¯t you pinch me.¡±


    Song Yu helplessly glanced at him. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you say bite?¡±


    ¡°You can bite too, as long as it doesn¡¯t itch anymore,¡± Yue Zhishi emphasised, completely willing to sacrifice himself.


    ¡°Fine.¡±


    Song Yu brought his arm up to his mouth, opening his lips. Thinking he was actually going to bite down, Yue Zhishi hurriedly said, ¡°Lightly.¡±


    But he didn¡¯t. Song Yu¡¯s eyes were lowered, and he held onto the bottom of Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand ¡ª he very softly kissed his arm covered with rashes.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart was beating madly, and he watched Song Yu¡¯s handsome face, watched as the tip of his nose pressed into the skin of his arm when he kissed him. He felt like his entire body was immersed in the aftereffects of such sweetness, and yet for no reason at all, an overly anxious kind of grieving overcame him, one that was not quite in preparation for the future.


    If he hadn¡¯t gotten sick today, he definitely wouldn¡¯t have dared to cry and say he liked Song Yu. Then when would he have been able to possess Song Yu?


    ¡°Sleep.¡± Song Yu turned off the light, the room falling into darkness in one moment. He patted Yue Zhishi¡¯s blanket, as if to comfort him. ¡°I¡¯ll buy some yoghurt mousse cake for you tomorrow.¡±


    It was quiet for a while, and Song Yu thought Yue Zhishi had finally fallen asleep. He also closed his eyes, but after only three seconds, his blanket was pulled away. Yue Zhishi wormed his way in without saying a single thing, and he stuck onto Song Yu¡¯s body like a piece of sticky candy, arms going around his waist.


    ¡°I¡¯m so cold.¡± Yue Zhishi tilted his head, his voice soft and light. ¡°Hug me while I sleep.¡±


    He didn¡¯t want to stay by himself in another blanket, unable to reach Song Yu. Only skin contact could make Yue Zhishi feel fully secure.


    Song Yu¡¯s body stiffened for a second, and then he said, very unnaturally, ¡°Your body¡¯s clearly warm.¡±


    ¡°Because I¡¯m sick.¡± Yue Zhishi wouldn¡¯t let go of Song Yu¡¯s waist, and he drew close to Song Yu¡¯s ear. ¡°Gege, can¡¯t you hug me to sleep?¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s heart quickened when he called out gege ¡ª Yue Zhishi was forever able to subconsciously know his kryptonite. He slightly turned his face, agreeing to Yue Zhishi¡¯s request with a steady voice. ¡°I can.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was extremely satisfied, and he even kissed Song Yu¡¯s cheek voluntarily, even going to kiss the side of his neck. ¡°Thank you.¡±


    ¡°Be serious,¡± Song Yu warned.


    ¡°I¡¯m very serious,¡± Yue Zhishi sincerely said. He squirmed in his arms once again after he finished speaking, trying to find the most seamless, gap-free hugging position he could find.


    Just as Yue Zhishi wriggled in his arms for the third time, Song Yu could no longer bear it and held down the back of Yue Zhishi¡¯s waist.


    ¡°You might¡¯ve been a little brother for too long, and your mind might not have gotten used to it yet. There¡¯s something I need to say clearly.¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice was a bit hoarse. ¡°Right now, you are lying in the arms of an adult man who holds ulterior motives towards you. Don¡¯t try to test other people¡¯s self-control. That self-control was already depleted by more than fifty percent when changing your clothes.¡±


    Yue Zhishi finally behaved, not moving at all. Song Yu didn¡¯t know if he was sleeping or not, but the face pressed onto the side of his neck was ridiculously warm. Let alone squirming again, he even scratched his own rash timidly.


    After threatening him, Song Yu sternly requested, ¡°Give me your hand.¡±


    Yue Zhishi did so, very obediently. Song Yu grasped the hand he stretched out and interlaced their fingers together very firmly.


    ¡°This is to stop you from scratching again.¡± Song Yu left a lot of room in his explanation and fell into his dreams, embracing the now well-behaved Yue Zhishi.


    When he woke up the next day, Yue Zhishi was hugging Song Yu¡¯s pillow. He was a bit confused, feeling as though the pillow was intentionally stuffed into his arms by someone. He touched his forehead to check ¡ª his fever was completely gone, only his throat still slightly aching, and he didn¡¯t want to get out of bed.


    ¡°Song Yu¡­¡±


    Song Yu came in after he called twice. He had already changed his clothes, wearing a black long-sleeved sweater without a hood and a pair of white pants. He looked very relaxed. ¡°Awake now?¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded in his nest of blankets. ¡°I¡¯m hungry.¡±


    Of course he was hungry, it was already midday. Song Yu pulled out a set of his own clothes and told Yue Zhishi to wear them after he finished cleaning up.


    ¡°Go out for a bit?¡±


    ¡°Sure.¡±


    When he was going down the stairs, Yue Zhishi¡¯s legs, stomach and waist were incredibly sore, as if he¡¯d had a fight with someone. He found the apartment truly very nice ¡ª other than the ceiling to floor windows, it also had a very large balcony directly facing a wide span of the lake. The water shimmered, light bouncing off the lake. It was absolutely breathtaking.


    ¡°The shoes are a bit big.¡± Yue Zhishi sat on the sofa and shook his leg after putting on a shoe. There was so much space around his foot. ¡°It¡¯s like I¡¯m stepping on a boat.¡±


    Song Yu came over, and Yue Zhishi thought he was going to laugh at him ¡ª he didn¡¯t expect him to kneel on one leg in front of him and mutely undo the shoelaces, drawing them tighter bit by bit to tie up his shoelaces again.


    ¡°How is it?¡± Song Yu lifted his eyes, gazing at him.


    This look from Song Yu flustered Yue Zhishi; he could only nod blankly. ¡°Much better.¡±


    So Song Yu lowered his head again and helped him put on the other shoe. He even tugged at his crooked sock. ¡°Already nineteen years old, and yet you still don¡¯t know how to wear your socks.¡±


    ¡°It hasn¡¯t been my birthday yet,¡± Yue Zhishi quibbled.


    Song Yu stood up, a smile hanging from his lips. ¡°So you do know.¡±


    The two of them left once they were ready, and Song Yu drove him out to the neighbourhood. Yue Zhishi left a small crack in the window, and the sweet osmanthus fragrance of the end of September drifted inside.


    ¡°There¡¯s a decent dessert shop over there.¡±


    ¡°Are we eating cake?¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes brightened.


    ¡°Mn.¡± Song Yu parked the car and took off his seatbelt. ¡°I promised you yesterday.¡±


    Yue Zhishi followed behind Song Yu closely and saw himself reflected on the dessert shop¡¯s glass doors, once again wearing Song Yu¡¯s clothes like last time when he¡¯d stayed over at his dorm. He thought about it differently this time ¡ª it felt wonderful seeing himself like that again, as if he was stamped from head to toe with the label I belong to Song Yu.


    The small dessert shop was very pretty, its walls a lake blue and decorated slightly in an American countryside style. The circular glass windows were also designed to be pulled up from the bottom. Yue Zhishi really liked the little windows, so he chose to sit down at a table next to one of them.


    ¡°Hello, one slice of wheat-free yoghurt mousse cake, one hot flat white and one shot of espresso.¡± After Song Yu ordered, he told Yue Zhishi to obediently wait for him. He was going to the pharmacy across the street to buy a thermometer.


    The slice of cake came swiftly, blueberries and strawberries beautifully spread on top. It looked so delicious. Yue Zhishi picked up a fork, ate a small bite ¡ª it was even tastier than Song Yu had described.


    A couple sat diagonally in front of him, and the girl fed the guy a bite of their cake. They looked very sweet. So Yue Zhishi placed down the fork in his hand, preparing to wait until gege came back for them to eat it together.


    He was going to be like other people and have a magnificent love.


    Song Yu bought the thermometer and saw Yue Zhishi¡¯s fluffy head through the yellow circular window as he crossed the road. His phone suddenly rang; it was Yue Zhishi calling.


    ¡°How come you¡¯re still not back?¡± It was as if he¡¯d already waited for a very long time.


    ¡°I¡¯m almost done.¡± Song Yu walked towards him, stopping in front of that window.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t react until his shadow cast down on him. He lifted his head and looked at Song Yu¡¯s face with surprise ¡ª and then, once again as if something was controlling his body, he lifted his hand and laid it against the glass.


    This time, Song Yu didn¡¯t rest his hand on the glass like he did before.


    ¡°Hold my hand for a bit.¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice was deep and gentle through the phone.


    He pulled up the glass window and joined Yue Zhishi¡¯s palm with his own ¡ª there were no barriers between them, and for a short amount of time, they interlocked their fingers together.


    The author has something to say:


    Sharing some sugar first, the little couple definitely needs to be fed first after just getting into a relationship.


    (spoiler)

 CH 58

    Chapter 58: To Quench a Thirst with Poison


    After eating a simple meal in a cafe, Song Yu drove Yue Zhishi to Ikea. The drive was fairly long, and Yue Zhishi fell asleep after taking some medicine, head curved. In order for him to sleep more comfortably, Song Yu adjusted the seat lower for him as he waited at a red light.


    The day wasn¡¯t very sunny despite raining all through the night. The clouds were very thick and heavy, and the sunshine could only weakly leak through the gaps. Yue Zhishi occasionally coughed as he slept, and he coughed more than when he was awake, unable to repress the coughs in his dreams.


    Song Yu drove, thinking of the many, many similar questions Yue Zhishi had whispered to him in the cafe.


    ¡°Why do you like me?¡±


    ¡°When did you start liking me?¡±


    ¡°What do you like about me?¡±


    He hadn¡¯t answered immediately. It wasn¡¯t because he didn¡¯t have the answers; it was only because he was afraid he wouldn¡¯t be able to give a good enough answer and then disappoint Yue Zhishi.


    But Song Yu had also wanted to ask those same questions. He wanted to know why Yue Zhishi chose to be together with him ¡ª was it because they¡¯d grown up together? Or was it because he had seen only him since they were children.


    When talking about treating Yue Zhishi well, Song Yu thought many people would be the same as him, unable to harshly reprimand him. He was kind-hearted, fragile and was born with a pair of eyes that could make someone want to protect him. He was an innocent trap with no shortage of victims willing to sacrifice themselves.


    When thinking about it, out of all the people who¡¯d jumped in, it was Song Yu who¡¯d been the most indifferent, the one who¡¯d held him at arm¡¯s length the most.


    There were times when a person¡¯s feelings could truly be unjustifiable and beyond reason.


    All kinds of colours were blurring together in the grey sky as the flow of traffic converged on the overhead bridges.


    Feelings could also be blurred very easily. Under the flow of time, love could become familial affection; friendship could also evolve into love. The boundary lines between these feelings were very indistinct, and Song Yu had also wavered on these lines for many sleepless nights.


    The contradictory thing was ¡ª on one hand, he hoped Yue Zhishi was aware and understood exactly where he stood. On the other hand, he was afraid of Yue Zhishi being so aware.


    Yue Zhishi started coughing again when they were almost at their destination. He turned his head over towards Song Yu, sleeping very peacefully. Song Yu parked the car and didn¡¯t wake him, simply gazing at him for a while with his hand resting on the steering wheel. He realised Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t really changed from when he was a child; his features had grown up a bit, and his nose had straightened out. But when he was asleep, he still very much felt the same to Song Yu as when he was three years old.


    Once, in a fit of spite, Song Yu had thought it would¡¯ve been best if Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t arrived at his home when he was three and had stayed in England. Maybe he would¡¯ve travelled to China with Uncle Yue before starting university, staying with the Song family for the summer holiday.


    That would¡¯ve been their first time meeting. Song Yu would become his tour guide and would take Yue Zhishi to eat all of the local delicacies he¡¯d never tried before.


    Maybe Yue Zhishi, at that time, would¡¯ve spoken only British English. He wouldn¡¯t be used to eating chili and brown sugar, and would also dislike the fragrance of osmanthus flowers. Maybe he also wouldn¡¯t like him all that much and think he wasn¡¯t friendly enough. But Song Yu ¡ª he thought he would really like Yue Zhishi. He would put in a lot of effort to become his friend in the limited timeframe of one summer, and then logically, naturally pursue him. They would fall passionately in love, would worry over the upcoming separation into different countries, and he would do everything he could do until he obtained approval from Yue Zhishi¡¯s parents.


    He thought they would agree ¡ª after all, he had once been a small witness to their free love.


    When Yue Zhishi woke up, he saw Song Yu lost in his thoughts. He looked out the window and touched Song Yu¡¯s arm, very softly calling gege.


    Song Yu returned to his senses and looked at him. ¡°You¡¯re awake.¡±


    If fate decided to offer him an easier path, Song Yu would most likely choose to give it up solely to be called gege, choosing the harder start to his journey with his own free will. He truly did need the unexpected meeting of strangers to lighten his burden, but the three year old Yue Zhishi standing by the door of his room also really needed him. Song Yu thought ¡ª he would forever be unable to close that door, unable to reject that child.


    The fifteen years of memories were the answer to every question.


    ¡°Take a bit of cough syrup.¡± Song Yu opened the bottle, filled up half the cap and handed it to Yue Zhishi.


    Yue Zhishi really detested this kind of medicine, and he hesitated at taking it, frowning. ¡°But I¡¯m not coughing anymore.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t give him much of an opportunity to argue, directly placing the cap at his mouth. Yue Zhisi couldn¡¯t escape and could only drink it. He didn¡¯t want to suddenly suffer from a coughing fit as they were shopping ¡ª that would ruin their fun.


    They had rarely ever shopped together at a supermarket before, unless Lin Rong dragged them to do some Lunar New Year shopping as part of their family¡¯s Lunar New Year celebration activities. Song Yu preferred to work with high efficiency, unable to bear being troubled and disliked wandering around aimlessly while shopping. He would think ahead of time of what he needed to buy and then head in and out rapidly, or else he would be wasting time. But Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t like that ¡ª he liked places filled with the chatter of people, such as the supermarket and home furniture shops. He could stay in those places for an entire day.


    A man and a woman walked by, clearly a newly married couple. The woman grabbed a candle in excitement and told the young man next to her they could put this in their room ¡ª her words were filled with hope for the future.


    Yue Zhishi also walked over and grabbed that candle like a copycat, chucking it into Song Yu¡¯s cart without discussing it. He thought Song Yu wouldn¡¯t notice.


    ¡°We can¡¯t buy this. Even if we bought it, we couldn¡¯t be able to light it.¡± Song Yu took it out, placing it back. ¡°What if it sets off your asthma.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± Yue Zhishi glanced at it in regret. His eyes chased after that couple¡¯s shadows, and he saw they were buying paintings to hang on the wall.


    ¡°Let¡¯s buy a painting too, your walls are too bare.¡± Yue Zhishi clutched Song Yu¡¯s arm.


    Song Yu lowered his head, looking at Yue Zhishi¡¯s slender and pale hand. The curve of his fingernails was very pretty, and there was still a small bruise on the back of his hand from the IV drip needle. He lifted his head to look at him. ¡°Do you know what you look like right now?¡±


    ¡°Like what?¡±


    ¡°A little student rushing to copy someone else¡¯s homework.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was dissatisfied with Song Yu¡¯s description of him, but he had no choice but to admit he really was imitating other people and not really looking at what he wanted.


    Song Yu continued pushing the cart ahead, and Yue Zhishi quickly followed behind him, very frankly saying, ¡°That¡¯s because this is my first time shopping at a home furniture shop with my boyfriend. Can¡¯t I look at what other people are buying?¡±


    Hearing a certain unfamiliar title, Song Yu¡¯s cart halted, as if the wheels were suddenly stuck ¡ª it almost slipped out of his hand.


    Yue Zhishi also stopped. He stared at his face, a bit perplexed.


    ¡°Have they agreed to you looking at them?¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice sounded slightly awkward.


    Yue Zhishi was a person of action. ¡°I¡¯ll just go ask her then.¡± He¡¯d just lifted a foot to head over when Song Yu firmly caught his arm.


    ¡°Come back here. What¡¯s the point of copying her, it¡¯s not like she¡¯s the one I¡¯m dating.¡±  Song Yu didn¡¯t look at Yue Zhishi when he spoke, his voice still just as awkward as before.


    ¡°Just buy what you like.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart suddenly sped up, and he stood in place for a while before he ran after Song Yu again, walking closely next to him.


    They bought a set of blue-coloured bed linen. They both thought the other person liked the colour blue ¡ª Yue Zhishi kept wearing blue clothes in order to make Song Yu happy. Song Yu, also thinking Yue Zhishi liked blue, couldn¡¯t help but constantly buy blue clothes; he¡¯d give them to Yue Zhishi if he could find a reason to gift them, and if not, he¡¯d keep them himself.


    Neither of them knew when or how this misunderstanding started, but the two of them inevitably always did the same things under different reasons.


    A beanbag, beautiful dinnerware, a floor lamp and a rug Yue Zhishi liked ¡ª they bought all of them. They passed through Ikea¡¯s small show rooms, and there was a warm and cozy home already furnished. Yue Zhishi pulled Song Yu in, and they sat at the two ends of a small dining table.


    ¡°A small table like this is quite nice,¡± Yue Zhishi said to himself.


    Song Yu wasn¡¯t happy with it. ¡°It¡¯s too small.¡±


    ¡°A smaller one feels more secure.¡± Yue Zhishi rested a cheek on his hand, his face turned towards the little sofa in the show room, and said, his voice natural, ¡°I like being able to see you wherever I go.¡±


    His eyelashes were transparent under the lighting, and they seemed to sweep over Song Yu¡¯s heart whenever Yue Zhishi blinked.


    Five, six more people pushed their way into the show room, and Yue Zhishi pretended to make a fuss, standing up. ¡°Nope, there¡¯s too many people at home now. Too crowded.¡± He pulled Song Yu up as well. ¡°Let¡¯s get some fresh air first.¡±


    Song Yu was a bit tickled by his behaviour, but he held back from laughing.


    ¡°They all say the food here is really nice.¡± Yue Zhishi was touching Song Yu¡¯s arm, a very obvious yet very useful strategy.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think there will be many things you can eat here.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand started to slide its way into the sleeve of Song Yu¡¯s sweater, and he held onto Song Yu¡¯s wrist. ¡°Jiang Yufan said the Swedish meatballs are really yummy and that they don¡¯t taste like they have flour in them at all. He said there¡¯s a 99% chance they¡¯re made only from meat.¡±


    Song Yu wasn¡¯t convinced at all, and he grabbed Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand that was randomly touching him everywhere. ¡°Not up for discussion.¡±


    All of a sudden, Yue Zhishi felt Song Yu was still just as stern and impartial as before ¡ª there was no difference after they started to date. He sighed in despair the entire way, and at the end, he was only able to get an ice cream from outside the checkout area. He even had to give away the rest of it after eating to the cone.


    But Song Yu bought a milk chocolate bar in blue packaging for him in compensation, and he even hugged him for five seconds in the empty car park. Yue Zhishi cheered up again.


    All those small, unattainable wishes became insignificant in Song Yu¡¯s arms.


    As long as Song Yu was willing, he could have an eternally happy Yue Zhishi.


    Yue Zhishi suddenly wanted to eat hotpot on the way back, and after mumbling about it for a while, Song Yu could only take him to eat a mild and lightly-flavoured Chaoshan-style meat hotpot. It was already dusk by the time they returned back to the apartment, and they were just in time to see the most beautiful view out of the living room. As soon as he opened the door, Yue Zhishi made a small noise in wonder ¡ª he took off his shoes and ran to the ceiling to floor window, his two hands placed onto the glass as he gazed out into the shimmering and sparkling lake.


    The orange-coloured sun was half-submerged into the water, and the rest of it dyed the floating clouds red. The light filtered in through the white floor-length curtains, warming and gentling even the walls.


    ¡°So beautiful.¡±


    Song Yu watched as Yue Zhishi stood by the window, thinking this entire scene was stunning. The first time he came here, it had been the same time as now; he¡¯d liked the window¡¯s view from the first moment he saw it, and he¡¯d been very certain Yue Zhishi would like it as well. If he liked it, he would be willing to come often.


    He took out the cream yellow beanbag after he opened the packaging. He stood in the living room and asked Yue Zhishi, ¡°Where do you want to put this?¡±


    Yue Zhishi turned around, taking the beanbag out of his hands. ¡°Let¡¯s put it on the balcony.¡±


    They opened up their purchases one by one, and the two of them pulled the dark beige-coloured sofa cover over the leather sofa already in the living room. Song Yu assembled the coffee table and the cabinet, and Yue Zhishi decided where to put the floor lamp, warmth and sweetness slowly filling the empty room.


    The sky outside the window gradually darkened, the sun completely disappearing into the lake. Once the lamp was turned on, the warmth of its light filled up the entire room.


    ¡°This rug is so comfortable.¡± Yue Zhishi stuffed a piece of the milk chocolate bar into his mouth as he sat on the floor. He stroked the rug, and then he looked over at Song Yu, who was sitting on the sofa. ¡°Try touching it.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re still not fully recovered yet, don¡¯t sit on the floor.¡± Song Yu wanted to pull him up, but Yue Zhishi turned around and deliberately, shamelessly flopped onto his lap instead. Yue Zhishi looked at him, face raised, and said in a soft voice, ¡°I¡¯m not cold.¡±


    His light brown eyes seemed to hold the afterglow of the setting sun.


    Song Yu met his eyes, not speaking for a very long time. He finally couldn¡¯t resist and reached out a hand to stroke Yue Zhishi¡¯s cheeks, his eyes, the upturned corners of his mouth and the red lips still lightly glistening with water.


    ¡°You really like touching me.¡± Yue Zhishi curved his face, actively pushing it into Song Yu¡¯s palm. ¡°You never used to be like this. I used to think you always disliked and wanted to avoid me.¡±


    ¡°Not at all.¡± Song Yu very quickly denied it, but he didn¡¯t say anything further.


    He didn¡¯t want Yue Zhishi to realise he was actually a paranoid and pessimistic person.


    ¡°Sit up here.¡± Song Yu once again pulled him up, and Yue Zhishi listened to him this time ¡ª except he misunderstood, and instead of sitting on the sofa, he straddled and sat precisely on top of Song Yu¡¯s legs.


    Song Yu arched an eyebrow, and Yue Zhishi only then realised what he¡¯d done. ¡°Ah,¡± Yue Zhishi said extremely lightly, his entire face covered by the question of can I sit here? Seeing Song Yu not speaking, he lifted his legs and prepared to move away. ¡°Pardon me¡­¡­.¡±


    Song Yu chuckled in amusement. He held down Yue Zhishi¡¯s legs, telling him to sit back down, and he folded his arms around Yue Zhishi¡¯s waist very naturally and rested them on his back. Yue Zhishi was wearing a very soft woollen coat and Song Yu¡¯s white t-shirt, and the collar of the shirt was slightly open, revealing his pale collarbones.


    He was the one who got on first, but Yue Zhishi abruptly felt shy after Song Yu lightly wrapped his arms around him. His ears reddened very quickly, and he didn¡¯t quite sit down fully. ¡°Am I heavy?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Song Yu looked at him. ¡°You¡¯re very skinny. I don¡¯t need that much effort to lift you up horizontally.¡± He then looked him up and down, his voice questioning, ¡°Are you really 179cm¡­¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t question my height!¡± Yue Zhishi pressed his two hands to Song Yu¡¯s face, keeping his gaze directly on him. Yue Zhishi¡¯s face was serious. ¡°No one will use 179cm as their fake height.¡±


    Song Yu nodded in understanding. Then he asked, ¡°Comfortable?¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t really understand what he was asking, lightly letting out a questioning sound.


    Song Yu asked more specifically, ¡°Are my legs comfortable, or is the rug more comfortable?¡±


    Yue Zhishi pursed his lips at this question, but he couldn¡¯t hold back the corners of his mouth from curling upwards. He watched Song Yu, asking, ¡°Can I keep sitting here if I say your legs are more comfortable?¡±


    ¡°Who taught you these negotiation skills?¡± Song Yu asked.


    ¡°I¡¯m self-taught,¡± Yue Zhishi replied very proudly. His arms went around Song Yu¡¯s neck by themselves, and he unexpectedly realised they were actually very close ¡ª he could see the fine lines on Song Yu¡¯s lips, as well the perpetually straight corners of his mouth.


    ¡°Since you told me to sit up here¡­¡± Yue Zhishi felt very bold all of a sudden, and he used his pair of innocent eyes to look at Song Yu. ¡°Can you let me kiss you?¡±


    Song Yu wanted to laugh, and yet he also found it remarkable ¡ª at a time like this, how could someone ask first?


    ¡°What if I object?¡±


    ¡°Objection overruled.¡± Yue Zhishi passed the verdict swiftly, kept his arms around Song Yu¡¯s neck and slightly lowered his head.


    As Yue Zhishi leaned in, Song Yu could practically smell the fragrance of the milk chocolate on his lips. It was a very mild, sweet flavour with a tinge of bitterness, and it bewitched his mind like a drug, depriving him of his self-control and resolution. He¡¯d initially wanted to use his hands to stop Yue Zhishi from moving, but they clenched tightly around his hips instead and stopped moving.


    The sky outside the window was now fully dark, the moon meeting the lake ¡ª the tips of their noses pressed against each other, and their breaths blended together.


    Yue Zhishi was very nervous. He¡¯d thought he had many romantic scenes from movies he could reference, but in this moment, his brain was almost completely blank. It was hard for him to breathe, and it felt like an acute attack, his emotions unable to be restrained.


    He was worried he wouldn¡¯t be able to kiss well, so he wanted to only lightly press their lips together. He didn¡¯t want to disappoint Song Yu.


    Their lips were almost about to touch, but then a long, long vibrating noise suddenly came from the sofa and interrupted their movements. Yue Zhishi was startled into coughing, and Song Yu supported his back, lifting up the phone with a frown. The moment he saw the name of the person calling, he once again felt like he was waking up from a dream.


    He waited until Yue Zhishi was no longer coughing and picked up the call. ¡°Mom.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart felt like it was suddenly jabbed by something when he heard Song Yu. He got up from Song Yu¡¯s body without thinking and sat back down on the sofa, lips pressed together.


    The room was very quiet, and he could pretty much hear Lin Rong¡¯s voice. She sounded very anxious, and words such as ¡®fever¡¯ and ¡®where is he¡¯ were faintly audible.


    ¡°You¡¯re already on campus?¡± Song Yu glanced at his watch. He then said, lying, ¡°I¡¯m at the hospital with him right now. No need, we¡¯ll head over to you.¡±


    The phone call ended, and Yue Zhishi asked Song Yu if Aunt Rong had come. Song Yu nodded. ¡°She¡¯s already on campus. We¡¯ll drive over now.¡± He caught Yue Zhishi¡¯s arm. ¡°You never returned her calls, so she looked for Jiang Yufan. He said you had a fever and I took you away. She immediately drove over to see you since she¡¯s so worried.¡±


    Yue Zhishi felt a bit guilty ¡ª from last night until now, he¡¯d almost forgotten everything else in his joy. He¡¯d pretty much thrown the rest of the world to the back of his mind, leaving only Song Yu in his eyes and in his heart. He sobered up the moment the phone call came: he was a child taken in by Song Yu¡¯s family since he was young, and he¡¯d been brought up by a husband and wife closer to him than even his own parents.


    ¡°You haven¡¯t told Aunt Rong you¡¯ve rented an apartment, have you?¡± Yue Zhishi asked.


    ¡°No.¡± Song Yu stood up. ¡°Let¡¯s go back first. She must be really anxious.¡±


    Of course Yue Zhishi understood that ¡ª he was the kind of child adults described as difficult to raise. Aunt Rong used to cry whenever he got sick as a child; now that he was in university, she still sent him messages every night, asking him how he was.


    He followed Song Yu out, getting into the car, and then asked if he could drive while holding hands.


    ¡°That¡¯s against the rules.¡±


    Yue Zhishi looked out at the dark road in front of them. He whispered, ¡°We¡¯re already breaking the rules anyway.¡±


    Song Yu fell into silence for a few seconds, and then he ended up holding Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand anyway. The interior of the car was a very private space, and they held hands while inside, letting go after they left the car. With ten centimetres separating them, they walked together to where the shadows of the trees landed in front of the dormitory building.


    Yue Zhishi could tell Lin Rong had driven over in a panic. She wasn¡¯t wearing any makeup, and she wore a beige windbreaker as she stood in front of the building, chatting with the auntie in charge of the dorm. A polite smile was on her elegant face. He walked over, calling out her name.


    Lin Rong immediately turned around once she heard Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice, and worry covered her face the moment she saw him. She threw her arms around him, her hand repeatedly stroking his back. ¡°My poor baby, Xiao Fan said you had a high fever. I was so scared when he said you were delirious. Let me look at you.¡± She looked up and touched Yue Zhishi¡¯s forehead. ¡°It doesn¡¯t feel like you have a fever anymore. You just got an IV drip, right?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m okay now, Aunt Rong.¡± Yue Zhishi smiled. ¡°It¡¯s just that I caught a cold from the constantly changing temperature the last few days. I only got a fever afterwards, when the water wouldn¡¯t warm up when I was showering. The fever¡¯s been gone the entire day today.¡± He hugged Lin Rong again after he finished speaking.


    Yue Zhishi had actually missed her a bit ¡ª with this hug, he suddenly wanted to cry. He didn¡¯t know why.


    ¡°You can¡¯t shower when you have a cold.¡± Lin Rong continued stroking his back. ¡°Have you taken some medicine? Are you coughing?¡±


    The dorm auntie couldn¡¯t help but chuckle as she watched Yue Zhishi hug Lin Rong. ¡°Aiyah, you¡¯re still so clingy with your mom even though you¡¯re grown up already.¡±


    Yue Zhishi only then pulled away. He straightened up his body and said he really was okay now.


    Lin Rong turned and pulled Yue Zhishi over to the dorm auntie, an apologetic look on her face. ¡°Sister, my youngest son¡¯s body is really weak, he gets sick very easily. Most people can just wait for their colds to go away, but this child of mine can¡¯t cough at all ¡ª his asthma might flare up once he starts coughing, and it¡¯s really dangerous.¡±


    She looked over again and waved over Song Yu, who had been standing to one side. ¡°This is his older brother. He studies here too, in geomatics. I know it¡¯s not easy for you to let random people in and out of the dorms, but my son¡¯s a special case. His brother is very clear about his conditions, and he can take care of him. I¡¯d really appreciate it if you could let him through when necessary and let them look after each other.¡±


    ¡°You have such good luck to have two such handsome sons. They really look like you.¡± The dorm auntie agreed very freely and took out a form for Song Yu to fill in.


    ¡°Hurry and sign, it¡¯ll be easier for you to come over,¡± Lin Rong urged.


    Song Yu held the pen, filling in his major and ID number like they requested. The final sections he needed to complete were his relationship with the person he was visiting and the signature block. The dorm auntie helpfully said, ¡°Just write ¡®brother¡¯ and then write down your name.¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡±


    Song Yu wrote down the word ¡®brother¡¯ and his name, the words scribbling together.


    ¡°Come home with me, Le Le.¡± Lin Rong pulled at his hand. ¡°Look at how cold your hand is. It¡¯s Sunday tomorrow, and you can take the next day off too. I¡¯ll drive you back after.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know what to say. Song Yu put down his pen. ¡°He¡¯s almost nineteen. He can¡¯t keep running back home as soon as he¡¯s sick. I¡¯ll take care of him at school.¡±


    ¡°Then you really have to look after your little brother.¡± Lin Rong was still worried, and she looked at Yue Zhishi. ¡°I talked to Xiao Fan just then, and I already left some medicine in your dorm. I put your asthma inhaler under your pillow. Remember, you can¡¯t sleep too deeply at night, if you feel like you can¡¯t breathe, you need to use it, okay?¡±


    ¡°Uncle wanted to come too, but he¡¯s out of the city right now and couldn¡¯t come.¡± Lin Rong squeezed his hand. ¡°You¡¯ve never been away from home before. It doesn¡¯t take long to drive over, so tell me if anything happens ¡ª or get your brother to help you. Okay?¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded the entire time, and he couldn¡¯t help but hug her again.


    People came in and out of the dorm entrance, and Lin Rong started to laugh. ¡°Aiyah, don¡¯t let other people see you like this. They¡¯ll tease you.¡±


    ¡°You really don¡¯t want to go home with me?¡±


    ¡°Really, I¡¯m fine. I still have class on Monday.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice was very quiet.


    ¡°All right, then.¡± Lin Rong surrendered. Song Yu and Yue Zhishi walked with her to where she parked her car, and Lin Rong kept giving instructions the entire way, worried Yue Zhishi would suffer while at school. Song Yu followed behind them, listening to them speak without talking. Lin Rong twisted her head over. ¡°How come it feels like your brother¡¯s not in a good mood today?¡±


    Yue Zhishi said, slightly guilty, ¡°Not really?¡±


    Lin Rong chuckled. ¡°He must be jealous because I¡¯m only caring about you.¡± She tugged at Song Yu, crooking her arm around his. ¡°Son, let me say something. Studying is really important, but it¡¯s also really important to live. Be a bit happier. If you¡¯re happy, mom will be able to relax.¡±


    Song Yu nodded. ¡°Hurry and go home. It¡¯s not safe at night, make sure you drive carefully.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. Mom was in too much of a rush today, I don¡¯t look like a beautiful rich lady at all. Right, Le Le?¡± Lin Rong joked. She embraced them each for a while. ¡°Both of you need to be well.¡±


    Yue Zhishi watched as Lin Rong¡¯s car drove off and out of sight. He suddenly felt a bit afraid, and he tilted up his head, glancing at Song Yu. In the dark of the night, the side of his face looked a bit cold.


    He opened his mouth, subconsciously wanting to call out gege, but Yue Zhishi held the words back.


    ¡°Head up first,¡± Song Yu said.


    Yue Zhishi became somewhat flustered. ¡°Does that mean I can¡¯t live at your place tonight?¡±


    Song Yu turned his face to him, his face slightly softening. ¡°I mean, head up to get your phone and clothes to change into. You can¡¯t wear my clothes tomorrow too.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s tightly clenched heart fractionally eased. The next second, he heard Song Yu ask, his voice very, very low.


    ¡°Are you scared?¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Mom is a very good person. I¡¯m scared you guys are worried, so let me say it again ¡ª their coming out won¡¯t be a massive fight (of course, mom will definitely be hurt for a while)


    Time to start their secret relationship~ (I really like dating relationships with sneaky, hidden bits)

 CH 59

    Chapter 59: The Road of Love


    The wind blew Yue Zhishi¡¯s hair into disarray. He gazed at Song Yu, and he looked slightly helpless ¡ª but the words that left his mouth were very firm. ¡°I¡¯m not scared.¡±


    Song Yu had already guessed Yue Zhishi would reply that way. He truly was a very stubborn child.


    And then, Yue Zhishi lowered his eyes very quickly. ¡°I just feel a bit¡­ distressed. I don¡¯t have the courage to look at her.¡±


    He thought of Lin Rong as his own mother, and he didn¡¯t want to hurt her at all.


    The moment he¡¯d seen Lin Rong, he remembered the jokes Lin Rong had once said about Song Yu dating. Even though she¡¯d been teasing him, it was very obvious she hoped Song Yu could find a girl he liked and happily, peacefully spend their lives together.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know what he should do.


    ¡°Don¡¯t think about it anymore.¡± Song Yu saw the worry on his face. He wasn¡¯t willing to leave these complicated issues to him; they weren¡¯t Yue Zhishi¡¯s fault to begin with. ¡°Let¡¯s just head up to your dorm first.¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡±


    The dorm auntie warmly greeted them when they returned back to the dormitory building. ¡°Your mom left?¡±


    Yue Zhishi responded quietly, ¡°Yes, she¡¯s gone home.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t let your mom worry about you getting sick. She almost fell when she came in.¡±


    Yue Zhishi saw the pastries Lin Rong gave her ¡ª the packaging was easily recognisable. He could also imagine Lin Rong tripping and falling as she rushed in. She was sometimes very careless when she walked, and he was very similar to her that way.


    With Lin Rong¡¯s request, Song Yu was allowed to go upstairs together with Yue Zhishi, and he was able to enter his dormitory whenever he liked.


    It¡¯s not like he didn¡¯t know ¡ª he knew that as long as he signed the registration form and clearly expressed who he was, he could easily come to Yue Zhishi¡¯s dorm to take care of him. But he really needed a reason to have a space where he could be alone with Yue Zhishi, so he ended up renting an apartment without asking, lying to himself and pretending to others.


    Luckily, fortunately, Yue Zhishi also liked him ¡ª at least for now. Or else he really would¡¯ve made a decision based on too much one-sided wishful thinking.


    It was Sunday, and there was no one else in the dorm. Yue Zhishi opened the door, turned on the light and crawled onto his own bed, grabbing his phone next to his pillow and also seeing the inhaler Lin Rong had left.


    His mood wasn¡¯t very good. He came down from his bed, taking two sets of his own clothes from his wardrobe before putting them into his schoolbag, and also took his laptop and the turquoise stone Song Yu had given him.


    Standing in front of Yue Zhishi¡¯s desk, Song Yu noticed the chicken soup Lin Rong had spent time and effort in making ¡ª as well as the little snacks and pastries she¡¯d left onto each desk of Yue Zhishi¡¯s dorm mates. They were all placed neatly.


    These same habits of hers were telling him ¡ª Yue Zhishi was also a ¡®son¡¯ Lin Rong had raised.


    In a complicated mood, Song Yu could feel his body going slightly numb. He¡¯d hidden from everyone all of those little thoughts he¡¯d had in the past, and over the course of time, it had become habit to continue hiding. He had learned to digest and absorb those feelings by himself.


    But right now, he was no longer alone. He¡¯d promised to treasure Yue Zhishi, but that decision seemed to have also pulled Yue Zhishi into the abyss of self-blame and torment. Song Yu couldn¡¯t adjust, all of a sudden; he didn¡¯t know what was the right direction to take.


    ¡°I¡¯ve finished packing.¡± Seeing Song Yu lost in his thoughts, Yue Zhishi stretched out a hand and touched his fingers, briefly squeezing the tips. He softly said, ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡±


    Song Yu said okay, and then he took Yue Zhishi¡¯s bag, driving them back to that secret apartment. The entire way there, the two of them tacitly avoided mentioning what had just happened. Song Yu played a soothing piece of piano music, and it covered up the silence in the car.


    Yue Zhishi checked his phone: there was a startling number of over ten missed calls, as well as the WeChat messages his friends had sent. A strong desire to avoid everything swept over him, and he turned off the screen, not looking at a single message. All at once, at this very moment, he really wanted Song Yu to drive and take him away, fleeing and hiding in a place no one could find.


    But this bad idea lasted only for a few seconds before Yue Zhishi gave it up. He wasn¡¯t willing to snatch Song Yu away, and he also wasn¡¯t willing to leave behind Lin Rong and Song Jin.


    After he calmed down, Yue Zhishi sincerely replied to every single message, one by one, and then made the decision to turn off his phone.


    The apartment wasn¡¯t far from campus, and they arrived very quickly. The lights in the underground car park were very dim, and Yue Zhishi followed behind Song Yu into the elevator after getting out of the car. He sneezed once in the elevator, so Song Yu lightly held onto his waist.


    The inside of the apartment was pitch-black once they opened the door, as if it was no longer that beautiful, warm place from that afternoon. Song Yu reached out a hand, wanting to flick the light switch next to the door, but Yue Zhishi held him back. Song Yu wanted to ask him what was wrong, but in the next second, Yue Zhishi was hugging him, his face buried into his collarbones. He didn¡¯t say anything, and yet he seemed to be comforting Song Yu with this embrace.


    The strange thing was ¡ª it was as if they naturally, logically deserved to be in the dark.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s arms were crossed behind Song Yu¡¯s back, and they stroked up and down very lightly, trying to ease Song Yu¡¯s tense mood. He spoke only after a long while passed. ¡°I¡¯m hungry. We should have the soup.¡±


    Song Yu said sure and turned on the light.


    The chicken soup held red dates and goji berries, as well as nourishing ginger and fish maw. The soup shined golden, and the familiar fragrance of it wafted into their faces as soon as they lifted the lid. Yue Zhishi took out their newly bought porcelain bowls and soup spoons, pouring the soup into them after he washed them. He thought of his childhood once he took a small sip ¡ª his body had been weak, and with so many things he¡¯d been unable to eat, Lin Rong had delivered food to his school every day up until he graduated elementary school. She¡¯d accompanied him every day in the cafeteria, waiting for him to finish eating.


    There was no one who didn¡¯t envy him for having such a beautiful ¡®mom¡¯ who could cook. So the younger Yue Zhishi, when he was outside, didn¡¯t call her Aunt Rong; he¡¯d delighted in having other people praising his mother as being so talented.


    This pitiful sense of pride truly did satisfy Yue Zhishi as a child.


    ¡°Have some more.¡± Song Yu placed a chicken drumstick, stewed until it was falling to pieces, into his bowl.


    Yue Zhishi watched Song Yu, vaguely wondering if he¡¯d made a wrong choice ¡ª should he have kept hidden the fact that he liked him? Would it have been better for everyone if he¡¯d held on for a bit?


    Time flowed exceedingly slowly in the quiet air of the room. Yue Zhishi really wanted to say something to cheer Song Yu up, but Song Yu kept speaking, saying he needed to remember to take his medicine, he¡¯ll check his temperature in a bit, he needed to remember to message his mom ¡ª he spoke as he stood by the sink, washing the dishes.


    Song Yu usually didn¡¯t speak so much; he¡¯d always been the quietest one. Contrarily enough, his speaking so much made Yue Zhishi uneasy. His thoughts were very messy, and his heart was also confused. He had been too naive: he¡¯d thought he entered heaven just by being able to be together with Song Yu, but once he returned back to reality, he realised this heaven was very likely to be hell for the people they loved.


    This must be why Song Yu had always kept silent about his feelings.


    That entire night, Yue Zhishi listened to Song Yu¡¯s instructions very peacefully. He took his meds, cleaned up, and when he returned back to his room, the blanket Song Yu had brought into his room last night was missing. He couldn¡¯t help but be a bit disappointed, but he didn¡¯t want to create a larger burden for Song Yu ¡ª so he kept silent.


    He lay on the bed, messaging Lin Rong to say the chicken soup was very delicious and to ask whether she¡¯d safely returned home.


    Lin Rong replied swiftly, and she even sent over a photo of Cotton Candy and Orange cuddling together in sleep.


    [Aunt Rong: Has your brother cheered up a bit?]


    Yue Zhishi said very honestly, he didn¡¯t seem to have.


    Lin Rong replied once again very quickly.


    [Aunt Rong: You should coax your brother a bit. He always likes to be by himself whenever he¡¯s not happy, and that really worries me. He¡¯s grown up now, and he¡¯s not willing to tell mom anything anymore. Luckily he still has you by his side ¡ª he laughs and smiles more when he¡¯s with you. It would be nice if he could rely on us a bit more like you do.]


    Reading Lin Rong¡¯s words, Yue Zhishi thought for a few seconds.


    [Le Le: Aunt Rong, one day, if you feel like gege or I hurt you, can you not be angry with him? You can just be angry with me ¡ª it doesn¡¯t matter if you want to hit me or yell at me. Gege really, really loves you. I really love you too, but if we did something wrong, it would definitely be my fault.]


    Lin Rong rapidly responded.


    [Aunt Rong: What are you talking about, have you done something you¡¯re too scared to tell me? But there shouldn¡¯t be, the two of you are such good children. You need to tell me if you¡¯re not happy, I¡¯ll help you guys fix it. What¡¯s the point in having parents otherwise? And I know you guys both really love me, really love dad ¡ª I¡¯ll never be angry with you guys.]


    After a little while, he received another message.


    [Aunt Rong: I¡¯ll be angry just for a little bit at most. You guys can just sweet talk me and I¡¯ll be fine.]


    Yue Zhishi sniffed.


    [Le Le: Mn. Love you <3]


    His nose was originally already quite blocked, and now it was even more uncomfortable after wanting to cry. He really needed some tissues, so he got off his bed and searched around his room before remembering he saw some earlier that day in the living room. Planning on going to get it, he cautiously opened his door. He saw Song Yu in the living room and didn¡¯t go directly downstairs, hesitating.


    He hesitated because he saw Song Yu take out a medicine bottle of some kind from the white low cabinet next to the sofa. Song Yu tapped out one pill into his hand and swallowed it down with some cold water.


    Yue Zhishi frowned, thinking Song Yu might¡¯ve also gotten sick. He was very worried, so he took another look at the bottle ¡ª that bottle looked very familiar. Seeing Song Yu about to turn around, Yue Zhishi retreated back into his room a bit guiltily and shut the door. He leaned against it, listening to Song Yu¡¯s footsteps as he softly climbed up the stairs, dull noises coming from the wood.


    He didn¡¯t know if he was imagining it, but it felt like Song Yu¡¯s footsteps paused in front of his door for a few seconds. His heart started racing, and yet those steps didn¡¯t stop, continuing until they reached the room next door.


    Yue Zhishi abruptly remembered why the bottle looked familiar. He¡¯d seen that bottle on Song Yu¡¯s desk before, the packaging exactly the same, and Song Yu had told him it was melatonin and hadn¡¯t allowed him to try it.


    In hindsight, he took out his phone and searched up the effects of taking that particular hormone.


    [To a certain extent, taking melatonin can help alleviate sleeping disorders and relieve insomnia.]


    A thin pang of pain threaded through Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart once he saw those words. He continued scrolling downwards, reading through everything that had to do with this hormone.


    Time flowed very quickly at night. The lake outside the glass windows was tranquil ¡ª Yue Zhishi looked towards it, and his own anxious face reflected back at him on the transparent glass, as if the lake was also gazing at him.


    Ten minutes later, after trying his best to persuade himself to not disturb Song Yu, Yue Zhishi finally couldn¡¯t hold back. He put on some socks, worried his slippers would make too much noise, and lightly, gently opened the door. He walked next door and pretty much spent over thirty seconds turning the door handle, doing his best to not make any sound.


    Song Yu¡¯s room was always very dark, very quiet, like a bomb shelter completely cut off from everything. He liked having the curtains drawn tightly together without a single shred of light allowed to come through. Yue Zhishi groped his way in through the dark, very, very carefully searching his way ahead, and his eyes rapidly adapted to the darkness. Seeing Song Yu¡¯s bed, he inched closer.


    But he was still caught.


    Song Yu reached out a hand, turning on the bedside lamp. The inside of the room immediately brightened, and Yue Zhishi was like a foolish thief caught in the act, standing next to the bed in shock. He somewhat awkwardly stared at Song Yu.


    ¡°Why¡¯d you come over? Do you feel unwell?¡± Song Yu shifted up, looking at him.


    In this moment, Yue Zhishi really, really wanted to be a little dog like Cotton Candy. He could stealthily run in and then jump lightly onto the bed, snuggling next to Song Yu¡¯s body without disturbing him. His eyes faintly stinging, he walked over and sat onto Song Yu¡¯s bed.


    ¡°No, I don¡¯t feel sick.¡± Yue Zhishi explained himself. ¡°I didn¡¯t come over to cling to you.¡±


    Song Yu gazed at him, his eyebrows drawn from the light faintly relaxing. He pulled out a hand from his blanket and covered Yue Zhishi¡¯s wrist with it, his fingertips cold. ¡°You don¡¯t want to cling to me anymore?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not that.¡± Yue Zhishi felt like he was being misunderstood, so he quickly denied it. He turned the light down to its dimmest, lay down next to Song Yu¡¯s body and placed a hand onto him. ¡°I came here with a mission.¡±


    ¡°What mission?¡±


    ¡°To soothe you to sleep.¡± Yue Zhishi looked a bit proud.


    The corners of Song Yu¡¯s mouth curled up a touch. He didn¡¯t speak. Yue Zhishi then said, ¡°I¡¯m really good at it. Every time Orange lies on my leg, he falls asleep with just a casual touch or two from me.¡±


    ¡°So you¡¯re here to also touch me casually?¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice sounded a bit sluggish, deep and pleasing to the ears.


    Yue Zhishi shook his head. ¡°Not casually. I¡¯ll try my best to soothe you to sleep.¡± He started performing his duties once he finished speaking, very gently patting Song Yu¡¯s shoulder. Worried he¡¯d be cold, Song Yu pulled him under his blanket.


    ¡°Your hand¡¯s so cold.¡± Yue Zhishi was slightly dissatisfied. Whenever he remembered that one of the side effects of melatonin was a drop in body temperature, he¡¯d feel upset ¡ª he clutched Song Yu¡¯s hand with his free hand, covering it with his own.


    Song Yu focused on his face and quietly asked, ¡°Why¡¯d you come here to soothe me to sleep?¡±


    Yue Zhishi replied truthfully, ¡°I saw you taking melatonin. I looked it up just now, and I only just realised it¡¯s to relieve insomnia.¡± He raised his eyes, his eyelashes faintly trembling. ¡°You often can¡¯t sleep, right?¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t answer him, and his silence stretched until he saw a layer of tears floating on Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes. He only then said, ¡°Isn¡¯t that normal ¡ª a lot of people these days can¡¯t sleep at night. They like staying up late.¡±


    ¡°Wanting to stay up late isn¡¯t the same as wanting to sleep and not being able to fall asleep.¡± In the end, Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but wrap his arms around Song Yu. ¡°If it¡¯s not serious, why would you take melatonin? And you can¡¯t take it long-term, it has so many side effects. You¡¯ll get addicted to it, and it might even cause mild anxiety and temporary depression.¡±


    He called out gege once, his voice a little whiny. ¡°Can you not take it anymore?¡±


    Seeing Yue Zhishi so worried, seeing him holding him so tightly ¡ª Song Yu could only agree. ¡°Okay, I won¡¯t use it anymore.¡±


    ¡°If you can¡¯t sleep, I¡¯ll stay with you.¡± Yue Zhishi spoke seriously, earnestly. ¡°I¡¯ll buy a book and read it to you, I can recite the civil legislation to you, as well as the criminal¡­¡±


    ¡°No need for that,¡± Song Yu chuckled, very lightly.


    The taut string in Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart marginally loosened after he heard Song Yu laugh. He lifted his head to look at Song Yu¡¯s eyes. ¡°I can read whatever you want.¡±


    Song Yu thought for a while, and then, as if he had a really good idea: ¡°Your diaries from first to sixth grade.¡±


    Immediately, an uneasy expression covered Yue Zhishi¡¯s face. ¡°But that¡¯s private¡­¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it then,¡± Song Yu said. ¡°Just let me continue to lose sleep.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay it¡¯s okay,¡± Yue Zhishi hurriedly agreed. ¡°I¡¯ll bring them all over once I find them, I¡¯ll read them to you.¡± He stroked Song Yu¡¯s back. ¡°I hope you won¡¯t laugh to the point you won¡¯t be able to sleep after I read them to you. The things I wrote when I was younger probably weren¡¯t too normal.¡±


    ¡°Such as wishing for all the wheat in the universe to go completely extinct and so everyone won¡¯t be able to eat it?¡±


    ¡°How¡¯d you know!¡± Yue Zhishi widened his eyes in shock. ¡°Did you peek?¡±


    ¡°Mom accidentally saw it when she was bringing you a night snack, and then she sneakily told me.¡±


    ¡°How could you guys be like that¡­¡± Yue Zhishi found it embarrassing to have been secretly laughed at for so long.


    Song Yu¡¯s mouth lifted gently, and he looked a little happier than before. Just with this, Yue Zhishi was already very satisfied, and he nuzzled his face into the side of Song Yu¡¯s neck. ¡°I want you to be happy every day.¡±


    ¡°No one is happy every day,¡± Song Yu answered negatively.


    Yue Zhishi brought out a counter-example. ¡°I¡¯m happy every day whenever I¡¯m with you. Being happy for one hour is still being happy.¡±


    His voice dropped as he finished speaking; he buried himself into Song Yu¡¯s shoulder, silent for a while.


    Thinking he wasn¡¯t going to speak anymore, Song Yu wanted to urge him back to his room to sleep.


    ¡°Gege.¡± Yue Zhishi still ended up opening his mouth, his voice muffled in between their arms.


    ¡°If you¡¯ll suffer a lot by being with me, tell me, okay? I won¡¯t demand to stay next to you.¡±


    The room was very quiet. He could hear Song Yu¡¯s heartbeats as they thudded against his chest. He didn¡¯t know how much time passed before Song Yu finally gave him an answer.


    ¡°By being together with you, I have both happiness and suffering.¡± His voice was slightly hoarse. ¡°It¡¯s like I¡¯m pulling out the glorious parts of my life early, leaving behind only a deficit ¡ª and yet I still want it, very badly.¡±


    Yue Zhishi held onto him, wanting to give him some kind of comfort or relief, but very quickly, he heard Song Yu continue.


    ¡°But if you leave me, I might be left with only suffering.¡±


    A great wave of pain and unwillingness washed over Yue Zhishi at these words. He felt like Song Yu was very different from usual ¡ª or maybe it was because he¡¯d never seen Song Yu like this before. He was like a cat who knew only how to lick its own injuries; he always turned around proudly, giving Yue Zhishi the appearance of a strong and steadfast back.


    ¡°Even though I promised you and said we could give it a try,¡± Song Yu was caressing Yue Zhishi¡¯s hair, ¡°in reality, you hold all the power. If you¡¯re scared and don¡¯t want to hurt anyone, you can withdraw any time you want. We can still go back to our relationship from before.¡±


    He then added, ¡°I¡¯ll still treat you very well.¡±


    His gentle, kind words sounded like he was trying to talk some sense into Yue Zhishi, but Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want it; he didn¡¯t want to be treated as a child, especially after learning Song Yu would be in agony without him.


    ¡°I definitely won¡¯t withdraw after you said something like that.¡± His voice held a bit of spite. ¡°If I really did leave you, we won¡¯t be able to go back to before. You can¡¯t treat me well either ¡ª if you do, I¡¯ll just burst into tears right in front of your face.¡±


    ¡°When I¡¯m together with you, you¡¯ll hug me while I sleep. You¡¯ll touch my face, kiss my arm, smile at me so gently ¡ª now that I¡¯ve experienced all of that, there¡¯s no way I¡¯ll be able to accept it if we one day change back to how we were like before.¡±


    Song Yu laughed bitterly. ¡°Then what would you do?¡±


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help it; a tear rolled down, and he pushed his face in, not wanting Song Yu to see.


    ¡°I¡¯d leave all of you behind, and hide in a place no one can find.¡±


    But before he left, he¡¯d take away the little stone Song Yu had given him, as well as the mathematics textbook Song Yu had once recited to him. That textbook was truly hard to understand, but one lifetime was a very long time. He¡¯d definitely be able to learn how to read it by himself.


    ¡°Will you spend your whole life by yourself?¡± Song Yu asked.


    ¡°Yes.¡± Yue Zhishi thought ¡ª did he come across very heartless this way? Should he act like one of those foolish, love-struck men and women in dramas and movies who died for love in order to look like he really did like Song Yu? So he explained, ¡°My parents didn¡¯t live very long. I should live a few more decades in their place.¡±


    He spoke very flippantly, as if he was joking, but Song Yu abruptly hugged him very tightly, almost as if he wanted to draw him into his own body. But very soon, he loosened his hold.


    ¡°There¡¯s no way someone can live by himself.¡±


    This sentence had no clear reference to anyone, and at first, Yue Zhishi thought Song Yu was speaking about him. He later felt Song Yu was talking about himself.


    ¡°So you can¡¯t tell me to go.¡± Yue Zhishi kissed the side of his neck. ¡°Don¡¯t treat me like a child anymore. I¡¯m already grown up, and no matter what happens, I can bear it with you.¡±


    ¡°I know I did something I shouldn¡¯t have. When I saw Aunt Rong today, I felt like I committed a terrible crime. They treat me so well, bringing me up like their own child, and yet I¡¯ve snatched you away from them.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not your fault,¡± Song Yu said.


    Yue Zhishi corrected his words. ¡°It¡¯s not solely your fault either.¡±


    Slightly lifting up his head, he kissed Song Yu¡¯s chin and gazed at him. ¡°You said being with me gives you both happiness and suffering. If you¡¯re left with only suffering after leaving me, then there¡¯s no way I can leave you by yourself. You should keep that happiness, and give the suffering to me.¡±


    ¡°As long as I have you, even suffering turns into happiness.¡±


    Song Yu really couldn¡¯t understand it; where did Yue Zhishi find these warm and tender emotions from? In attempting to absorb all of his negative thoughts, Yue Zhishi was like a plant sucking in carbon dioxide and then releasing a steady stream of oxygen in return ¡ª all just so he could smile.


    Yue Zhishi was an extraordinary, special substance in his life. The energy he gave him was large and beyond measure.


    ¡°All right.¡± Song Yu was forever unable to reject him, and so he simply gave up resisting.


    ¡°I said I was going to treasure you. Until you make another choice, I won¡¯t run away by myself.¡±


    ¡°There is no other choice.¡± Yue Zhishi was very firm. ¡°As long as you need me.¡±


    Song Yu clasped Yue Zhishi to him, hugging him as closely and inseparably as though he was hugging a toy. Their skin connected, and Yue Zhishi¡¯s warmth slowly and gradually seeped into Song Yu, his body finally able to relax. While patting his back, Yue Zhishi talked to him about the things they¡¯d done together when they were children: the lotus seeds they¡¯d plucked, the loquats they¡¯d planted; the endless summers in the sunflower field and botanical gardens at Jiangtan Park. He spoke until his voice faded, little by little, and his hand slowly stopped moving.


    The deeply anxious heart he had for Song Yu ¡ª it lulled into peace slower than his consciousness, and it extended into his dreams.


    The next day, Yue Zhishi had a low fever again. He didn¡¯t know if it was because he was blown by some wind last night, but Song Yu took him to the hospital, getting him to sit through two hours of IV drips. Song Yu sat next to him, writing a paper, and he leaned on Song Yu¡¯s shoulder quietly as he read manga on his phone and occasionally chatted to Jiang Yufan. Song Yu sometimes glanced at him while he chatted, and he saw Jiang Yufan showing off his relationship by sending through quite a few photos of him and his girlfriend.


    It was time for dinner by the time they came out. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t have much of an appetite, eating slowly and sparingly. Dinner only finished after Song Yu urged him to finish a bowl of pork rib and lotus root soup.


    ¡°Can we not go home immediately? I want to go to a place on campus.¡±


    Song Yu gave him a look. ¡°And then get another IV drip tomorrow?¡±


    ¡°I won¡¯t catch a cold again.¡± Yue Zhishi smoothly transferred the responsibility onto him, murmuring, ¡°Who knows, maybe it was because you stole my blanket¡­¡±


    Song Yu crooked his head down and stared at him, not saying a word.


    ¡°Definitely not, I kicked off the blanket myself.¡± Yue Zhishi touched his arm. ¡°You can sleep pressing me down today. Then I definitely won¡¯t be able to kick away the blanket.¡±


    Someone walked past them ¡ª Song Yu clapped a hand over Yue Zhishi¡¯s mouth, not releasing his hand until that person disappeared.


    ¡°What stuff are you saying?¡± His voice sounded awkward again, and Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t understand why.


    He may have said no, but Song Yu still ended up following Yue Zhishi to where he wanted to go. They walked around the campus for a very long time, relying entirely on Yue Zhishi¡¯s GPS; they walked further away the more they walked.


    ¡°Tell me where you want to go and I¡¯ll take you there,¡± Song Yu finally said, unable to hold back.


    Focused on his phone, Yue Zhishi waved his hand at him. ¡°You definitely don¡¯t know where it is. One hundred percent.¡±


    ¡°Cold reminder: I¡¯m fourth year, and you are a first year new student.¡±


    ¡°Shh.¡± Without even lifting his head, Yue Zhishi reached out, trying to cover Song Yu¡¯s mouth. He didn¡¯t get to reach before his hand ended up getting caught.


    They finally found it at the end. There was a small walking road made of stone on the Lion Mountain behind the rooftops usually spread with cherry blossoms. The road started at the bottom of the mountain. Barely any people were here, and Yue Zhishi clutched Song Yu¡¯s wrist, more excited than if he¡¯d journeyed to the west and found scriptures. ¡°It¡¯s here, we found it!¡±


    Song Yu frowned in doubt. There were countless amounts of little mountain roads like these in Wuhan U ¡ª he usually would never even think about taking them. They weren¡¯t convenient, and they also took forever to reach anywhere.


    ¡°So? If you wanted to reach the rooftops, there are many other ways¡­¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t wait for him to finish, immediately crouching down and pointing at the ground. ¡°Gege, look.¡±


    Song Yu looked down, only then noticing the many cobblestones inlaid onto the ground. They formed six very clear characters, and Yue Zhishi read them out. ¡°Please enter the road of love!¡±


    Song Yu suddenly wanted to laugh. ¡°Did Jiang Yufan tell you about this?¡±


    Yue Zhishi stood back up. ¡°He said his girlfriend took him here last week, that it was very meaningful.¡± He said to himself softly, ¡°I like stones.¡±


    With that, he tugged at Song Yu. ¡°Let¡¯s go, let¡¯s enter the road of love.¡±


    Song Yu had thought he would never do something so childish his entire life, but not only did he do it, he was even a bit happy about doing it. They walked closely next to each other, heading upwards one step at a time.


    Other than the six characters at the beginning, there were also many classic Chinese poems, as well as love poems. They were all written out through the cobblestones, and Yue Zhishi said he heard a teacher made their students do it as extra-curricular work in the eighties.


    ¡°This teacher was so romantic.¡± Yue Zhishi said, ¡°Even the characters are laid out so cutely.¡± He abruptly saw a translucent yellow cobblestone. ¡°This one¡¯s really nice, it looks just like a piece of jade.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s hand was loosely resting on his shoulders. ¡°That¡¯s a chalcedony stone formed from colloidal silica. Parts of it are blue due to the presence of copper.¡±


    Yue Zhishi glared at him. ¡°It sounds so complicated now that you explained it.¡±


    Song Yu raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. ¡°Science reveals the true nature of romance.¡±


    ¡°Fine, I can¡¯t argue with you.¡± Yue Zhishi took him past the characters spelling out the name of their city, strolled past the lush grass on the plains, withers and thrives once each year, and the as long as two feelings remain to same, why do they need to stay together day and night. After a moment, Yue Zhishi froze ¡ª he said to the ground, ¡°They wrote it out wrong, it should be remain the same.¡±


    They walked up the hill bit by bit, and very soon, the two of them reached the end of the road. Green trees surrounded them, and there was no one else to disturb them.


    ¡°We¡¯ve reached the end.¡± Yue Zhishi slightly hopped in place, and he pointed at the characters on the floor, saying to Song Yu, ¡°Look.¡±


    The unremarkable cobblestones on the ground spelled out simple characters, and yet those characters seemed to carry the weight of the many years in between them.


    ¡°Time passed, deep affection grows,¡± Song Yu softly read.


    Since no one else was there, Yue Zhishi took his hand. ¡°Since we¡¯ve already journeyed through the road of love, we have lots of experience now. Don¡¯t worry, everything will get better.¡±


    Song Yu couldn¡¯t hold back his smile. ¡°What experience do you even have¡­¡±


    Yue Zhishi suddenly popped upwards, just as his words left his mouth; he very lightly, very quickly pecked at his lips ¡ª it was just like the autumn days in this city, transient and glorious.


    He nervously retreated back to a safe location, and he also let go of Song Yu¡¯s hand, looking around him in a fluster with his lips pressed together.


    ¡°The experience of my first kiss,¡± Yue Zhishi stammered, his voice without any confidence.


    The setting sun fell gently onto his face, turning his soft hair into a glimmering gold. His ears were red, the rays of the sun shining through the semi-translucent flesh ¡ª the capillaries were faintly visible, and his ears looked just like golden sea shells. Song Yu could look nowhere else; he hoped the shadows of night would arrive later, because this was truly beautiful and breathtaking.


    And yet he also hoped the sky would darken right that moment ¡ª so that in the dark corners of the night, he could hold Yue Zhishi in his arms.


    ¡°Are you unsatisfied?¡± A bit of chagrin covered Yue Zhishi¡¯s face as he lifted his head. ¡°You must definitely be unsatisfied.¡±


    Song Yu stuffed his two hands into the pockets of his trench coat, looking entirely at ease. ¡°Maybe a bit.¡±


    ¡°Then can I try again? That one didn¡¯t count.¡±


    Song Yu took one step ahead, the distance between them shortened to zero. Their chests were right on top of each other, and he said, ¡°Sure.¡±


    Yue Zhishi glanced around again, and then he swiftly kissed him for the second time before he retreated half a step. He very earnestly questioned, ¡°How was that?¡±


    His romantic partner was very hard to satisfy; his mouth curved upwards slightly again, but he still shook his head. ¡°Still not good enough.¡±


    Yue Zhishi realised he might have dug a pit for himself. ¡°I feel like you won¡¯t be satisfied no matter what I do.¡±


    Song Yu raised his eyebrows. ¡°That¡¯s okay, I¡¯ll give you many, many chances.¡±

 CH 60

    Chapter 60: A Perfect Exam Paper


    Yue Zhishi rested in the apartment the last few days a bit too well ¡ª he originally didn¡¯t really lack sleep to begin with, and yet Song Yu turned him into someone with the habits of a long sleeper.


    Knowing Yue Zhishi had a general education class at 10am, Song Yu got up at 7:30 and went out to the breakfast stalls outside the apartment¡¯s neighbourhood, buying the osmanthus wine flavoured egg soup and fish porridge noodles Yue Zhishi liked. It was already 8am by the time he got back; he put down the breakfast items and entered Yue Zhishi¡¯s room, sitting on the edge of the bed. His hair all fluffed up and messy, Yue Zhishi was still sleeping deeply, hugging his pillow, and completely didn¡¯t sense someone had come into his room.


    ¡°Le Le,¡± Song Yu softly called, his voice so soft it clearly wouldn¡¯t cause a reaction. He bent over, leaning closely next to his ear. ¡°Time to get up.¡±


    Yue Zhishi shifted faintly, and his eyes squinted like a young baby chick. He released some vague noises through his nose before he flipped over, taking the pillow in his arms with him, and continued sleeping with his face towards the wall.


    There was nothing Song Yu could do ¡ª it was still early, so he planned on letting Yue Zhishi continue sleeping. Picking up Yue Zhishi¡¯s arm, he squeezed out a bit of the allergic rash salve onto his fingers and lightly smeared it onto the area where the rash had been. After a few days of the salve, the rash had already mostly disappeared.


    ¡°Don¡¯t lick me¡­ Cotton Candy, get out¡­.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t know if he should laugh or cry once he heard Yue Zhishi¡¯s mumbles, and yet he found him too cute. He lifted up Yue Zhishi¡¯s arm after finishing with the salve and kissed the palm of his hand.


    Yue Zhishi started to mumble again, as expected. ¡°Go away, I want to sleep¡­¡± He flipped again, his face now facing the ceiling, and a piece of hair on his forehead that¡¯d been pressed down now drifted straight up ¡ª it made him look a bit silly.


    Song Yu reached out and pushed it down for him, but that chunk of hair was more stubborn than Yue Zhishi himself. He tried pushing it down several times, but it continued to stand back up. He was just about to get up and collect all the things Yue Zhishi was going to need to take to class, and then he heard Yue Zhishi murmuring out gege.


    What dream was he having now.


    Supporting himself with one hand on the blanket, Song Yu bent over again, wanting to hear Yue Zhishi sleep-talking. Except Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t continue, merely dropping back into his deep sleep. The shape of his lips was very pretty, the colour of them a pink blushing almost to red; combined with his curly, light-coloured hair and pale skin, he looked almost like an Adonis from one of those Middle Ages oil paintings. In mythology, someone like him was often portrayed as purely innocent and romantic to arouse desire from others. Song Yu very much identified with that desire, and so he lowered his head and kissed Yue Zhishi¡¯s lips.


    His kiss lingered, and yet it was a peaceful kiss. It was a simple meeting of lips without a layer of heavy desire ¡ª like someone in prison kissing an unrestrained skylark passing by the edge of his window.


    After standing up, Song Yu lightly adjusted the hair on Yue Zhishi¡¯s forehead. The cell phone next to Yue Zhishi¡¯s pillow suddenly rang; it was his alarm, and the deeply slumbering Yue Zhishi wrinkled his eyebrows, groping around everywhere to find his phone without even bothering to crack open his eyes. Song Yu helpfully stuffed the phone into his hand. ¡°Here.¡±


    Yue Zhishi still didn¡¯t open his eyes. He held the phone with one hand, and he used his other hand¡¯s index finger to randomly poke at the screen, poking until he hit the button to turn off the alarm. The noise stopped, and he immediately fell back into sleep.


    Song Yu felt both helpless and amused at the same time; he decided to let him sleep until he was happy, so he lay down, quietly gazing at him. He lay there until 9am, and he woke Yue Zhishi by brushing a finger around his neck. Yue Zhishi¡¯s neck was extremely sensitive ¡ª he¡¯d curl away at the slightest touch. Song Yu knew where he was weakest, and he hadn¡¯t want to use it until the very last moment.


    Sure enough, Yue Zhishi squiggled around a few times like an earthworm. He was finally awake.


    ¡°That was too much.¡± His voice was low and grumbly.


    Song Yu said, very sternly, ¡°If I didn¡¯t do that, then you¡¯ll probably be given a demerit point.¡±


    Only then did Yue Zhishi remember he had a class that morning ¡ª he immediately patted himself on the face, flipped off the bed and rapidly cleaned up. Drops of water were still all over his face by the time he ran out of the bathroom.


    ¡°Dry your face.¡± Song Yu stood up from the bed. ¡°No need to rush, it¡¯ll only take us a few minutes by car. We still have plenty of time.¡±


    Yue Zhishi flung his head around a few times, his movements no different from Cotton Candy¡¯s after he was given a bath. But then he ran to stand in front of Song Yu and hooked his arms around his neck, saying, ¡°I like the toothpaste you have here. It tastes like jasmine.¡±


    ¡°Does it?¡± Song Yu felt like there was no difference between toothpastes.


    Yue Zhishi gave him a kiss, telling him the answer.


    It didn¡¯t matter what kind of person the prisoner was; after being treated so gently and tenderly, the skylark would still happily, fervently twitch its wings and gift him a soft feather in return.


    His tiptoed feet returning back to the ground, Yue Zhishi observed Song Yu¡¯s eyes ¡ª the contours of his face were stained with damp, as if he was within the morning fog. ¡°Doesn¡¯t it taste like jasmine?¡±


    Every time he finished kissing, he would always look delighted with himself; he even thought he hid his delight well, as if Yue Zhishi truly thought he was a master at love. Song Yu saw right through his little game, and the corners of his mouth couldn¡¯t help but curve upwards.


    ¡°What are you smiling about?¡± Yue Zhishi blinked.


    ¡°You won¡¯t be able to taste it that way.¡± Song Yu grasped his waist, easing him backwards, and he very gently pushed Yue Zhishi against the wall. Yue Zhishi¡¯s chest was pressed down by Song Yu¡¯s, and his heart was running so quickly ¡ª he once again experienced the physiological illusion of his breathing being constricted, and it felt completely different from when he went to kiss Song Yu himself. Losing his ability to act independently felt both dangerous and seductive.


    Song Yu tightened the arms wrapped around his waist, and he lowered his head, covering his lips with his own.


    If the skylark hadn¡¯t left that feather behind, then the prisoner wouldn¡¯t have desired to keep that bird with him.


    Easily, languidly, he broke through Yue Zhishi¡¯s line of defence. In between their thin breaths, the sensations of moisture, softness, slick teeth ¡ª they all merged together with the aroma of mint mixed with jasmine, and it was like an intricate chemical reaction in slow motion, taking away their resistance and ability to breathe.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s face burned from the slight sound of sucking. It was almost as if Song Yu was leisurely, methodically sampling an exquisite appetiser, and his actions made Yue Zhishi¡¯s lack of experience and immaturity all the more apparent.


    Sensing Yue Zhishi¡¯s weakening, Song Yu stifled his thoughts of going further and released him.


    Both of Yue Zhishi¡¯s cheeks and his neck were flushed from embarrassment. His lips were still glistening, and his heart had yet to return back to normal. He leaned against the wall, trying his best to calm his breathing.


    ¡°I managed to taste it.¡± Song Yu was composed to the point he could speak without shame, and he stretched out a hand to wipe Yue Zhishi¡¯s wet lips. ¡°The jasmine flavour¡¯s very sweet.¡±


    He might¡¯ve been embarrassed, but the train of Yue Zhishi¡¯s thoughts seemed to be a bit different from other people. He squared his shoulders. ¡°So you¡¯re more satisfied with a¡­ kiss like that, right?¡± He wasn¡¯t able to force out the words ¡®french kiss¡¯.


    Song Yu stared at him for a little while, and he was suddenly no longer as relaxed. He turned serious, as if he was saying something extremely important.


    ¡°It¡¯s not like that. I¡¯m already very happy with whatever actions of love you find the courage to do. You can¡¯t measure the things we do by whether I¡¯m satisfied with them or not. You don¡¯t need to please anyone, understand?¡±


    Yue Zhishi pursed his lips, looking as though he understood, but he still persisted in saying, ¡°But I want you to be satisfied by the things I do. In your heart, I¡­ want to have a higher score.¡±


    Song Yu stroked his cheek. ¡°I know. But you don¡¯t need to.¡±


    Activities such as that would admittedly please Song Yu, but Yue Zhishi was too innocent; it would be very easy for others to take advantage of his habit of doing things in exchange for getting into their good graces. In order to stop Yue Zhishi from falling into a misconception about what he needed to give in this relationship, Song Yu spoke bluntly and straightforwardly for once.


    ¡°To me, you already have full marks. Even if you don¡¯t do anything at all, you will still have a perfect score.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart abruptly jumped wildly ¡ª it felt like there was a small rabbit hopping desperately in his chest.


    ¡°Then¡­ what if I turn in an empty paper?¡± He looked at Song Yu, asking a very childish question. ¡°Will I still have a perfect score?¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡±


    ¡°Then what if I cheat?¡±


    ¡°How would you cheat?¡±


    Yue Zhishi hugged his neck, smiling very sweetly. ¡°I¡¯d bribe the exam proctor and have a good relationship with the teacher. That way I¡¯d get 101 points.


    While his self-control was still operating, Song Yu lifted his wrist and showed Yue Zhishi the watch he¡¯d given him. ¡°Being late for class will still get your points deducted.¡±


    ¡°Okay, Teacher Song.¡± Yue Zhishi drooped his head, crestfallen, and decided to hate going to class for three seconds.


    But he was able to complete another heroic feat: he managed to eat breakfast inside the obsessed-with-cleanliness Song Yu¡¯s car, and he even managed to get Song Yu to finish the osmanthus egg soup he wasn¡¯t able to drink. Luckily Song Yu drove; Yue Zhishi rushed into the classroom at 9:59am and sat next to Jiang Yufan.


    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t have gone home, right?¡± Jiang Yufan didn¡¯t know about the apartment. ¡°Uncle and auntie drove you over so early? Or did you take the subway?¡±


    ¡°My ge.¡± Yue Zhishi circled around his question.


    ¡°Do you feel any better? You still have a fever?¡± Jiang Yufan asked again.


    The professor came in at that moment, and Yue Zhishi shook his head, lowering his voice. ¡°I was fine by yesterday.¡±


    The doors closed by the professor were pushed open once again, Shen Mi entering two minutes late. Yue Zhishi glanced at him, feeling he didn¡¯t look right. Jiang Yufan nudged his shoulder. ¡°Shen Mi hasn¡¯t seemed okay the last two days. He drank a lot, and I saw him sitting on the steps by himself when I was walking around the sports ground with my girlfriend.¡±


    ¡°Why was he drinking?¡± Yue Zhishi curiously asked.


    ¡°I asked him later on WeChat, and he said it was something to do with his family. He said it wasn¡¯t important, and even told me not to tell you.¡± Jiang Yufan didn¡¯t think that was a good idea. ¡°As friends, it¡¯s necessary to take care of each other.¡±


    Yue Zhishi felt his words were very logical, so he sent Shen Mi a sticker of a doggy being patted on its head. Since Shen Mi hadn¡¯t wanted to tell him, Yue Zhishi thought he wouldn¡¯t want him to ask either.


    And as expected, five minutes later, Shen Mi replied with a silly looking sticker and nothing else.


    Yue Zhishi was pretty skilled with the content of this particular general education class, and he didn¡¯t need to spend a lot of effort when listening. His notes were quickly well-written, and after just the first half of the class, three people had already come over to ask for his notes. Yue Zhishi sent over a copy of his word document and then sprawled onto his desk to rest for a while.


    As soon as he closed his eyes, he would remember how it felt as Song Yu kissed him, and his heart would quicken, unable to be controlled. It made him almost afraid to close his eyes.


    ¡°Hey, I hear our university¡¯s about to put on an arts festival. Are you going to participate?¡± Once the words left his lips, Jiang Yufan felt Yue Zhishi was definitely going to be dragged in ¡ª just with his looks, all the seniors in his faculty were going to fight over him. ¡°What kind of event do you like?¡±


    ¡°Are there a lot?¡± Yue Zhishi was a bit curious. ¡°I haven¡¯t even heard.¡±


    Jiang Yufan forwarded a WeChat message to him. Yue Zhishi pulled out his phone, but the first thing he saw was a message from Song Yu, saying he was going to head over to the law faculty and have lunch with him. Immediately, Yue Zhishi forgot everything else in his joy, and the message Jiang Yufan had sent him was thrown to the back of his mind.


    Jiang Yufan stared at him. ¡°Which one are you interested in? How come you¡¯re so happy, the corners of your mouth are almost high enough to pluck the moon out of the sky.¡±


    ¡°What? Interested in what?¡± Yue Zhishi mumbled to himself quietly, ¡°I¡¯m not interested in anyone at all.¡±


    ¡°Aiyo.¡± Jiang Yufan laughed at him. ¡°You¡¯re definitely going to be dragged to be a model. Being born handsome is a crime by itself.¡±


    The professor returned back to the classroom, and their mismatched conversation halted. Yue Zhishi was very focused during class, not looking at his phone at all, and he was still organising his notes on his laptop by the time the professor finished the second half of the class.


    ¡°I¡¯m not going to eat lunch at the cafeteria with you today.¡± Jiang Yufan quickly packed up his bag. ¡°I promised to go eat crab meat pot with my girlfriend.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was focused on his laptop screen, and he spared a bit of his attention to reply, ¡°All right, you dude who forgets his friends once he has a girlfriend¡­¡±


    He¡¯d just finished speaking when Yue Zhishi sharply woke up. ¡°Girlfriend?¡± He didn¡¯t even bother saying goodbye to Jiang Yufan, who was already running away, and stuffed all his things into his bag, turning on his phone. He immediately saw Song Yu¡¯s messages.


    [Gege: Tell me when you finish class.]


    [Gege: Do you want some roasted chestnuts? Some place is selling them.]


    [Gege: I¡¯m heading over.]


    Yue Zhishi headed out with the flow of people with his head lowered the entire way, wanting to type. He¡¯d just typed out two characters when he received a new message.


    [Gege: Don¡¯t look at your phone while you¡¯re walking. No need to reply, just come out ¡ª I¡¯m waiting for you.]


    Someone might¡¯ve thought Song Yu had installed an eyeball next to him just to watch him. Yue Zhishi turned his head, making sure Song Yu truly wasn¡¯t behind him.


    Song Yu understood him too well. With just a simple ¡®currently typing¡­¡¯, he was able to guess what he was doing.


    The flow of people swept him along until he reached the entrance of the classroom building. It was a noisy and rowdy place, and Yue Zhishi thought he¡¯d have to search for a while ¡ª but as soon as he lifted his head, he saw Song Yu standing underneath the Chinese parasol trees. He gave Yue Zhishi a very faint smile, and when their eyes met, he walked towards him.


    Even though Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t replied to him, Song Yu still bought some roasted chestnuts anyway. They were still warm.


    ¡°They smell so good.¡± Opening the package, Yue Zhishi glanced inside. Every single one of the chestnuts were round and bulging, and fragrant, sweet yellow flesh was exposed from the little cracks on them. He strolled closely next to Song Yu, their arms grazing against each other very intimately. ¡°How¡¯d you know I was still inside? What if I¡¯d left already?¡±


    ¡°I guessed you might be asking questions or finishing up your notes.¡± Song Yu paused, and then he said, ¡°Plus, Shen Mi just came out. He came over and told me you were still inside.¡±


    He hadn¡¯t said only just that. He¡¯d even congratulated him on getting together with Yue Zhishi, the words coming out entirely against his will. ¡°You need to treat him better, don¡¯t forget how to do that just because you have him now.¡± When Song Yu asked him how he¡¯d known, he pointed at him. ¡°Look, I managed to trick it out of you.¡±


    ¡°Even an idiot would be able to tell. Don¡¯t take me for an idiot. He didn¡¯t come back to school for three days straight, and he was like a completely different person as soon as he came back. He was almost bubbling over with happiness. You think I wouldn¡¯t be able to tell just by seeing how happy he was? But don¡¯t worry, I¡¯m not foolish enough to expose my loss. I¡¯d just lose my own face.¡±


    Song Yu watched Shen Mi, not saying a single word. He watched as a childish expression covered his face, as he pretended to be open-minded and generous.


    ¡°Even though you¡¯re the person I least want to beg in this entire world, still ¡ª please don¡¯t tell him what I said to you that night. Just pretend I was also suffering from a fever that day and was spouting nonsense. He won¡¯t feel burdened if he doesn¡¯t know.¡±


    He said to Song Yu at the end, ¡°You¡¯re definitely a lot clearer than I am about whether this road is easy or not. Please make sure he doesn¡¯t suffer so much. I¡¯m giving up now, by myself. It¡¯s a lot easier to be friends. Luckily I didn¡¯t confess.¡±


    Song Yu felt like he was trying to boast, and yet he didn¡¯t want to expose him. Before Shen Mi left, Song Yu even thanked him.


    ¡°Don¡¯t thank me, it was hard enough for me to catch an opportunity to educate senior Song Yu. I really didn¡¯t expect this at all. This might be the highlight of my entire life.¡±


    He was still a guy who liked running his mouth, even at the end.


    A smile escaped from Song Yu ¡ª he, too, never expected he would one day say thank you and smoothly reconcile with a rival.


    It felt like the entire world was finally revealing its inconceivable nature after getting together with Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°He didn¡¯t say anything else, did he?¡± Yue Zhishi looked at Song Yu. ¡°Jiang Yufan said he hasn¡¯t seemed right lately, that he hasn¡¯t seemed too happy.¡±


    Song Yu hummed and said, ¡°Maybe just a bad period in his life.¡±


    ¡°I hope he can get out of it soon,¡± Yue Zhishi sincerely said. He saw Song Yu wearing his AirPods with a lift of his head. ¡°Are you listening to music?¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡±


    ¡°I want to listen too.¡±


    Song Yu pulled out one of them and placed it into Yue Zhishi¡¯s ear. When he saw his slightly reddened ear, Song Yu kept remembering how he looked as he stood on the road of love, the first time he¡¯d kissed him.


    Yue Zhishi adjusted the earbud with a hand, continuing to walk closely next to Song Yu. An English song was playing, and the melody of the guitar was beautiful.


    In the past, Song Yu always used to wear his earphones by himself, immersed in his own world. Yet now, he was willing to share a piece of himself with Yue Zhishi. Every single person standing within this large campus was an individual, all by themselves ¡ª they were like the many isolated islands in the vast ocean. But Song Yu and Yue Zhishi were different: their bodies didn¡¯t touch each other, and they looked as though they had no connection with each other ¡ª and yet they were able to hear the same music only they themselves could hear.


    This connection was hidden, yet belonged solely to them; it was like a special ocean current, swirling around two small, ordinary islands. They were no longer alone.


    The cafeteria was full of people, and Song Yu didn¡¯t want him to line up, asking Yue Zhishi what he wanted to eat. Song Yu found a table, telling him to wait there for him, and he went to buy food by himself. He went too far ¡ª five metres, ten metres and then at a certain distance away, the earbud in Yue Zhishi¡¯s ear went quiet. The sounds of his surroundings instantly poured in, just like a tidal wave.


    Their ocean current was cut through.


    ¡°Le Le.¡±


    Hearing a familiar voice, Yue Zhishi raised his head and saw Nan Jia, who was holding a plate of food. ¡°What a coincidence. Did you guys just finish class too?¡±


    ¡°Mn. I¡¯m eating lunch with Song Yu.¡± He intentionally didn¡¯t use the words gege.


    ¡°Really? Then do you mind if I join?¡± Nan Jia smiled. ¡°It¡¯s a bit hard to find a spot.¡±


    ¡°Of course I don¡¯t mind.¡±


    Nan Jia sat diagonally across from Yue Zhishi, leaving empty the spaces directly across and next to Yue Zhishi for Song Yu. ¡°I¡¯ve been so busy today, I haven¡¯t had a chance to even drink water the whole morning.¡± She threw the straw into her cup and took a large sip of her drink.


    Curious, Yue Zhishi asked, ¡°Why are you so busy?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s that arts festival. I¡¯m helping out with both the debate and the fashion show. Our faculty entered all six events last year, but we only managed to get into two finals. Everyone wants a better result this year, so they¡¯re all working hard.¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought of what Jiang Yufan said during class. ¡°So there are six events.¡±


    ¡°Yup, but the debate is the most competitive. You know our university is famous for its debating teams ¡ª too many people have signed up for this event. A lot of fourth year graduates or postgraduate students are planning on competing. But the other events are really amazing too.¡± Nan Jia¡¯s eyes widened slightly at this point. ¡°By the way, Le Le, do you want to join in? I can help you with whichever event you want to join. Would you like to sing, dance, act in a play or debate? Or you can go be a model for our faculty¡¯s dressmaking team.¡±


    ¡°Ah?¡± Yue Zhishi thought for a bit. ¡°By being a model, do you mean someone will design my clothes?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right. A team of people will design the clothes, and then there¡¯ll be a grand exhibition show. I feel like you¡¯ll definitely look great on the walkway.¡±


    Compared to walking a fashion show, Yue Zhishi was a bit more interested in designing and debating. He originally hadn¡¯t been considering participating in the arts festival, but now he started to wonder.


    Afraid of interrupting him, Nan Jia didn¡¯t continue speaking once she saw Yue Zhishi lost in his thoughts. Unexpectedly, only thirty seconds later, Yue Zhishi came out of his daze and abruptly said, ¡°My ge¡¯s back.¡±


    The invisible ocean current between them once again connected, the sound of the guitar having changed to a piano, slowly flowing.


    Nan Jia looked up ¡ª Song Yu really was back. He stood only a few metres away.


    ¡°The telepathy between you guys is a bit too strong,¡± she couldn¡¯t help but sigh.


    Yue Zhishi looked over as well, and the moment he met Song Yu¡¯s eyes, a smile appeared on his face. The music starting again was a hint, and it was also as if it was a hug, given to him in Song Yu¡¯s place after he returned.


    ¡°No, we¡¯re just cheating,¡± he said, smiling to Nan Jia.


    The author has something to say:


    To me, Song Yu is the best, Le Le is the best and they¡¯re the best for each other.


    Song Yu¡¯s charm is in his maturity and restraint. I still stubbornly believe the older person shouldn¡¯t take advantage of the younger person¡¯s trust and already established emotions to ask for love. To me, the older person would lose their charm. If the age gap was larger, then guiding the younger person a certain way under the guise of ¡®taking initiative¡¯ is even more unacceptable.


    The younger person in this story may be young, but he still has the right to take steps out of his own free will. Song Yu is protecting Le Le¡¯s free will and ability to make his own choices, and isn¡¯t asking for anything in return.


    PS: the osmanthus wine flavoured egg soup is made from whisked eggs and osmanthus flowers, almost like a dessert. You can pretty much ignore the alcohol content hhhh of course, you shouldn¡¯t drive after drinking, don¡¯t drink if you¡¯re driving ¡ª or else your relatives will have their faces full of tears.

 CH 61

    Chapter 61: Glittering Fragments


    Song Yu nodded politely at Nan Jia, using that as his greeting, and then went straight into the seat across from Yue Zhishi. He spoke without any emotions in his voice, as if he was a household service robot with an outstanding appearance.


    ¡°No duck blood and vermicelli soup today. Only mixian rice noodles.¡±


    ¡°Mixian¡¯s fine too.¡± Yue Zhishi very happily took the bowl from Song Yu. He then asked, thinking of what Nan Jia had just said, ¡°Have you participated in the arts festival before?¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡± Song Yu nodded, casually separating out the cutlery. ¡°I was in my faculty¡¯s debate team for a bit.¡±


    Nan Jia was smiling when she said, ¡°I even competed against your brother once in a semi-final. He really was the dark horse in the first years¡¯ competition. Everyone initially thought this person who didn¡¯t know how to talk wouldn¡¯t be articulate at all, and then he turned out to be a golden fourth speaker.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not that he¡¯s bad with words. He just doesn¡¯t like talking.¡± Yue Zhishi explained for Song Yu immediately, but his heart yearned to see the sight of Song Yu in a suit, sitting at the long tables of a debate competition.


    Yue Zhishi poked the tip of Song Yu¡¯s foot with his own. ¡°Then will you participate this year?¡±


    Shaking his head, Song Yu said, ¡°I don¡¯t have the time. I stopped last year.¡±


    Nan Jia shrugged as well. ¡°I was chatting to his faculty¡¯s coach a while ago, and he was really regretful about Song Yu. He felt like he was a really strong seeded player. You have to know ¡ª the attacking and defence strategies of a second or third speaker are actually really easy to learn and practice. There¡¯s no lack of excellent second and third speakers, but it¡¯s actually very hard to find strong fourth speakers.¡±


    Yue Zhishi had also participated in debate competitions in high school, and he very much agreed with what Nan Jia said. ¡°That¡¯s right, especially when the strength of the two teams are equal and it¡¯s hard to figure out who has the stronger position. In situations like that, the later you speak, the more pressure you have. It¡¯s often up to the fourth speaker to fight for success.¡±


    Song Yu was indifferent. ¡°It wasn¡¯t as exaggerated as that. The second and third speakers are always the main force of the team.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s regretful anyway.¡± Nan Jia said to Yue Zhishi, smiling, ¡°But I feel like, other than his studies, everything your brother does is just for fun and just to get some experience. You can be like him too and try a few more things. It¡¯s university. You should grab all the opportunities you can to enrich yourself.¡±


    They didn¡¯t talk much further. Nan Jia very quickly finished her food, returned her plate and then said goodbye to them as she left. She was always very busy, rushing from one place to the next, but she lived every one of her days to the fullest.


    With no one there to chat with, Yue Zhishi peacefully sat there, pondering as he ate, and then after a little while, he raised his head. ¡°Song Yu.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t even look up. ¡°It sounds like my name comes out of your mouth easier every time you say it.¡±


    Yue Zhishi squeezed Song Yu¡¯s legs in between his own, rocking them slightly before he let go. ¡°It feels more intimate that way.¡±


    ¡°Why did you stop going to the debate team? You could¡¯ve been able to enter the university team if you continued, and you might¡¯ve even been able to participate in those championship competitions.¡±


    And then, as if he was cutely whining, Yue Zhishi said very softly, ¡°I want to watch you compete too.¡±


    Now that it was only the two of them, Song Yu¡¯s explanation increased. ¡°I originally joined with the intention of killing time. After participating for two years, I realised it really was something that required a lot of time. I needed to continuously train. Just for one argument, I needed to repeatedly research information, guess the other team¡¯s arguments and then find a way to dismantle it. All of that work doesn¡¯t come from thin air; it needed time and energy. I didn¡¯t have the energy to continue with it, so after I quit the team after my last planned competition.¡±


    He then said, ¡°Besides, there are many more people who love debating more than I do. I should leave the opportunities to them.¡±


    Yue Zhishi bit his chopsticks and nodded. He realised Song Yu was very different from other people ¡ª if it was someone else the same age as him who was lucky enough to enter the faculty team, even if he didn¡¯t initially want to join the university team, he would still definitely want to continue winning after competing for a while. He would¡¯ve entered a different path.


    ¡°Everyone said you¡¯re really good at it, that you have talent. Don¡¯t you think it¡¯s a pity to give it up?¡±


    Song Yu opened a bottle of water and took a sip. ¡°Those who find giving up a pity ¡ª it¡¯s because they stopped doing something they weren¡¯t able to do to begin with.¡±


    He handed the bottle over to Yue Zhishi, hinting at him to also have some water. He continued speaking only after Yue Zhishi obediently took it. ¡°There are limits to how much energy a person has. It¡¯s already difficult enough to focus on one thing and to do that one thing well.¡±


    ¡°Sometimes you really feel feel like someone who climbs mountains.¡± Yue Zhishi gazed at him, a small smile emerging on his face.


    Song Yu raised his eyebrows. ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Didn¡¯t we watch that documentary together before? Those mountaineers who needed to climb thousands of metres above sea level were all so focused. They plan out everything to the smallest detail before starting their journey, and during their climb, they only have one goal: to continue upwards. They abandon everything else, and they¡¯re more concentrated the higher they go.¡±


    A process like that was extremely similar to how Song Yu lived his life. Just like the optimal algorithm for pruning, all unnecessary paths were filtered out, reducing the complexity and increasing the efficiency rate of his life.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes slowly lost focus as he spoke about mountain climbing, and he looked like he was a bit lost in his thoughts.


    ¡°Say, do you think my dad was also someone like that?¡±


    He looked at Song Yu, asking uncertainly, ¡°Why do you seem more like him than I do?¡±


    Song Yu was silent for a moment, and then he said to Yue Zhishi, ¡°Uncle Yue wasn¡¯t someone who knew how to do only one thing. He was very brave, and he would always try out the things he wanted to do in order to broaden the scope of his life. That¡¯s another wonderful way to live. You¡¯re the one who¡¯s actually similar to him.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was a little flattered. ¡°Really? You think I¡¯m like him?¡±


    Song Yu nodded. ¡°You are the best parts of your parents put together.¡±


    His words were a bit overly solemn to be said over lunch. Yue Zhishi was a bit embarrassed, but he understood Song Yu; he had never been able to compliment others, so everything he had just said was rare true words from his heart.


    They¡¯d pretty much finished their food by now, so they cleaned the table, leaving the cafeteria after they returned their bowls and plates.


    Even though Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t very willing to separate from Song Yu, he was no longer sick, and so he still needed to return to live in his own dorm. His dorm mates had also been very worried about the last few days. Song Yu agreed with his thoughts as well, so he walked Yue Zhishi to his dorm ¡ª he needed to attend a meeting later that afternoon to discuss the schedule of their research paper, and he didn¡¯t know how long the meeting would last.


    The weather had turned cool, but the leaves still stubbornly held onto the colours of spring. As he walked, Yue Zhishi suddenly raised his head and asked Song Yu, ¡°Do you think I should go to the debate competition or the clothing design competition?¡±


    His indecisive nature always came out during times like these to interfere with his decisions. ¡°Logically speaking, wouldn¡¯t the debate competition be more helpful to my studies?¡±


    A car drove towards them from the front. Song Yu didn¡¯t answer his question immediately; he circled around Yue Zhishi, swapping places with him without a single thought.


    ¡°Speculative reasoning is helpful to anything you do.¡± He spoke after the car drove away from them.


    Yue Zhishi nodded thoughtfully, but then he heard Song Yu say, ¡°But the most important thing isn¡¯t if it¡¯s helpful. It¡¯s whether you like it or not.¡±


    It felt like all of his piled up thoughts about choosing the debate competition had been pulled out and flipped over by Song Yu ¡ª he¡¯d easily poked at what his heart actually wanted, as if he extremely understood him. Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but laugh, and he asked, ¡°How are you so sure I want to do the other one?¡±


    The empty campus roads were very quiet, and their entire journey had been covered by osmanthus flowers drifted onto the ground, all the various fragments of autumn exhaling their sweet fragrance. Song Yu¡¯s footsteps merged stably, consistently with Yue Zhishi¡¯s own steps, and his reply was also very tranquil.


    ¡°Other than who you would end up liking, I¡¯m very sure about everything else you like.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s footsteps abruptly paused, the rhythm of their pace thrown completely into disarray.


    After getting together with Song Yu, his heartbeats were always extremely unstable. This was different from before, where Yue Zhishi had already gotten used to guessing the reasons behind Song Yu¡¯s actions, obtaining tiny hints from his slight expressions. But now, Song Yu sometimes exposed himself so directly, as though he was a cat revealing his soft underbelly without a single precaution.


    No one can defeat a cat¡¯s belly.


    His ears might be burning and his heart may be speeding, but Yue Zhishi still caught onto Song Yu and stopped him from continuing forward. He faced him, and he looked directly into Song Yu¡¯s eyes. ¡°I would only end up liking you.¡±


    ¡°Since you didn¡¯t know something so simple, I guess you¡¯re not that amazing after all.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s eyes shifted from his reddened ears to his pair of eyes, slightly wanting to laugh. ¡°Are you trying to goad me into doing something?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m just stating a fact.¡± Yue Zhishi lightly curved his head down, a little smug.


    Seeing him like that, Song Yu couldn¡¯t hold back his hand from tapping his nose. ¡°What are you so happy about?¡±


    Yue Zhishi shamelessly boasted as he held onto Song Yu¡¯s hand, ¡°I¡¯m happy for you, because now you entirely, thoroughly understand the person who is Yue Zhishi.¡±


    Song Yu was defeated by Yue Zhishi¡¯s magical speaking abilities. In front of Yue Zhishi, all of his negative emotions had nowhere to hide, nowhere to live ¡ª they briefly showed themselves only for a short little while, and then they were strangled just as they were born by just a few words from Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°Then right now, should I say it¡¯s a great honour?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± Yue Zhishi patted his shoulder, and the two of them broke into laughter, facing each other.


    His other two dorm mates were also in once he returned back to his dorm, other than Jiang Yufan who was out on a date. They asked how Yue Zhishi had been the last few days, and then he shared the snacks he¡¯d just bought with them.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t take an afternoon nap. He spent a while looking through the arts festival recruitment information Jiang Yufan had sent him, and then he consulted with senior Nan Jia on WeChat. In the end, he decided to sign up for the clothing design competition.


    Nan Jia initially wasn¡¯t aware Yue Zhishi knew how to draw, and she was even a bit shocked when she saw the drawings he sent over.


    [Senior Nan Jia: You drew all of these? Did you learn drawing before? They¡¯re all so good.]


    [Le Le: It¡¯s just a hobby. I really like watching anime, so sometimes I would draw a bit too.]


    [Senior Nan Jia: This is fantastic ¡ª our faculty was missing a competitor like you who has a background in drawing.]


    After registering, Yue Zhishi received the time and place for the preliminary round. He became somewhat nervous, so he stood up and paced around his small dorm twice before he finally thought of something, sitting down and opening his laptop.


    He asked Nan Jia for the video recording of Song Yu¡¯s final debate competition. After ten or so minutes, Nan Jia sent it over, and she included a message.


    [Senior Nan Jia: By the way, Song Yu was surrounded by a lot of rumours after this. Pretty much no one was talking about the competition itself, only gossiping that he might not be single for much longer. But the gossiping masses stopped talking about it after Song Yu stayed single.]


    A bit puzzled, Yue Zhishi smiled as he typed.


    [Le Le: It was that awesome? Then I guess I¡¯ll need to seriously pay attention.]


    In the video, Song Yu was wearing a suit, and he didn¡¯t look much different from now other than what he was wearing. A minute sense of loss grew in Yue Zhishi when he saw this; maybe this competition wasn¡¯t important to Song Yu, but to Yue Zhishi, it was.


    He really wanted to be involved ¡ª even if he wasn¡¯t able to personally attend and watch the competition, he still hoped Song Yu could tell him about it and give him the chance to say a single jiayou.


    But passed by time was in the past, and he remained not having been involved. The dazzling Song Yu in the video had no connection with him.


    By the time his thoughts returned back to the video, the debate moderator had already started introducing the topic of the debate: between science and humanities, which one was more important.


    Yue Zhishi felt like this topic was very familiar. It was most likely because this topic truly was very common, and he might have debated a similar topic in high school. When the affirmative and negative teams were announced, Yue Zhishi pretty much burst into laughter ¡ª because Song Yu¡¯s team had unexpectedly been given the negative side.


    To argue humanities was more important than science ¡ª that was essentially telling Song Yu to debate with himself.


    From the start of the introductions to the free debate, Song Yu didn¡¯t speak at all. He acted as though he was a free bystander outside the competition itself, recording down all the different arguments he heard. Even though the free debate had opportunities for him to battle with his words, he stood up very rarely, and when he did, it was mainly to support his team¡¯s arguments as the other side tried to undermine them.


    Song Yu only started to perform when it came time for the conclusions. He didn¡¯t speak quickly, yet he was very stable, the first half of his concluding remarks precisely catching almost all of the holes in the other side¡¯s arguments. He dismantled the other team¡¯s logical reasoning one by one, as if he was taking down the building blocks of the other team¡¯s meticulously built mansion of logic.


    The camera even purposefully switched to the other team¡¯s fourth speaker, who¡¯d yet to speak. He had already lost his ability to control his facial expressions.


    Song Yu disliked using emotions or feelings to affect the way someone thought; he didn¡¯t want to sweep the audience along with emotional storytelling, even though it would¡¯ve been advantageous for his position in this particular competition.


    He remained as calm and unhurried as always ¡ª but in his final statements, he quoted words from someone else, and it didn¡¯t seem like something he would do at all.


    Yue Zhishi froze, rewinding the video back a few seconds and listening again to Song Yu¡¯s final words. His mind flashed, remembering something. He took the date of the competition, written on the video, and searched through his cloud archive for a particular chat record.


    The voices of the judges and moderator filled his ears as they announced the winner. But at this point in time, Yue Zhishi was already too busy to care; he knew Song Yu had won.


    His eyes fell onto a particular chat record, two years having already passed.


    [Gege: Let me ask you something.]


    [Le Le: What?]


    [Gege: Do you think science is more important, or humanities]


    Yue Zhishi thought about how he¡¯d first felt when he received that message. He hadn¡¯t thought it was something serious, and he¡¯d even said some irrelevant things to Song Yu ¡ª because for a question like that, he¡¯d felt like his own opinion wouldn¡¯t be important to Song Yu.


    He later realised Song Yu was asking him a serious question, and he only then gave him a serious response.


    [Le Le: I think it¡¯s really hard to determine which one¡¯s more important. But I just thought of something ¡ª if we returned back to the primeval times, science might be what allows humankind to make an axe. This is really important, because we can use it to hunt and feed ourselves. But humanistic thinking would then appear at this point, and it would tell us: don¡¯t use that axe to kill our fellow human beings.]


    Yue Zhishi was still in disbelief as he read through the chat record. He couldn¡¯t believe Song Yu had actually cared about what he¡¯d said.


    As a result, he once again rewinded the video to where Song Yu was making his concluding remarks. Every single one of his concluding statements was tight and secure in logic without a single inconsistency, but at the end, where he should¡¯ve elevated his team¡¯s final argument, he took and used the opinion Yue Zhishi had believed to be insignificant.


    In the video, with only the final ten or so seconds remaining, Song Yu placed down his tightly controlled weapons of words and looked towards the audience. The face that had been unperturbed to the point of being almost apathetic ¡ª it finally held a tiny shred of gentleness.


    ¡°When I first saw the debate topic, I sent it over to someone whose opinions are always the opposite of mine and yet who is very important to me. He said something very simple when he saw it, and I want to quote those words as my final statement in my concluding argument.¡±


    The chat record also held the last sentence of that day.


    [Le Le: If science is what allows humanity to make tools, then humanistic thinking is to prevent us from becoming the tools of science.]


    He watched as the Song Yu in his screen repeated this point of view and then deeply bowed. There was a complicated mixture of emotions in his heart. He was slightly annoyed that Song Yu quoted his own immature words as a conclusion in such an important competition, and yet he was surprised, his face burning, at the words ¡®someone very important to me¡¯. He understood why Nan Jia said this video caused a wave of rumours.


    But the wave of emotions finally flooded over, leaving behind only a grieving and emotional heart.


    All those experiences he¡¯d thought he never participated in ¡ª he hadn¡¯t missed them at all.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s pure sincerity was reflected in every single glittering fragment of Song Yu¡¯s life.

 CH 62

    Chapter 62: A Qualified Partner


    Yue Zhishi saved the last part of Song Yu¡¯s final competition match and even forwarded it to Song Yu.


    [Le Le: Who allowed you to use what I said without permission? Quickly transfer me some money.]


    With no reply coming after waiting for a while, Yue Zhishi guessed Song Yu was still in his meeting. He might even be giving a report right now with no time to reply, so Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t really mind. He only noticed Song Yu had replied to him when he checked his phone right before he was about to start his first class in the afternoon.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t say anything ¡ª he simply transferred over 520 RMB to Yue Zhishi¡¯s WeChat.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know whether he should laugh or cry when he first saw that notification; there was no way he would¡¯ve able to guess Song Yu would give him such a response. If you said Song Yu was a straight-forward person, sometimes he was particularly indirect, going around in circles and circles. If you said Song Yu didn¡¯t understand how to flirt, he still knew how to transfer over money in an amount that carried special significance.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t accept the transfer.


    [Le Le: I was joking. How could you have kept it so hidden and not told me at all? I heard from senior Nan Jia that a lot of people thought you were about to get into a relationship after your final competition match. With so many people discussing you and your rumours, how¡¯d you feel?]


    He received a reply after two minutes.


    [Gege: I don¡¯t remember.]


    The professor had already arrived at the podium at the front of the classroom and was opening his lesson plan. ¡°Have all the students arrived? Scan this QR code and sign in.¡±


    Yue Zhishi quickly left the chat to scan the code, and he nudged Shen Mi, who was sitting next to him and trying to hide the fact he was playing Honor of Kings.


    Another notification popped up in WeChat, so Yue Zhishi returned back to the chat after he finished signing in.


    [Gege: But right now, I¡¯m quite happy that I¡¯m no longer single.]


    Yue Zhishi could almost imagine Song Yu saying the words ¡®I¡¯m quite happy¡¯ with that dead, expressionless face of his, combined with his flat voice.


    [Le Le: If you¡¯d let me heard that last bit earlier, you would¡¯ve lost your single status earlier.]


    [Gege: I¡¯m very glad you didn¡¯t hear it earlier. This way, I know you ended up liking me by yourself, and not because you were affected by some affectionate words. You say yes to things very easily because you¡¯re incapable of rejecting other people¡¯s kindness, and that¡¯s especially true when it comes to me ¡ª you never refuse me. I¡¯m very clear about this.]


    When he saw this message, Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart felt very warm. Song Yu understood him more than anyone else ¡ª he knew his issues when it came to social interactions, and he was also the person who understood his personality and temper the best. And yet, he would never take advantage of this familiarity and understanding to achieve any particular goal.


    But Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want Song Yu to take him as a child, so he argued back for himself.


    [Le Le: I¡¯m already an adult now. Don¡¯t worry, I won¡¯t be affected that easily anymore.]


    [Gege: The first step in becoming a qualified adult is to learn how to refuse people, and that includes me.]


    He was right. Yue Zhishi stared at that message. He was often bound by his inability to reject other people¡¯s requests and would get caught in trivial matters that had nothing to do with him. But when faced with Song Yu, it felt like he wasn¡¯t able to refuse him ¡ª because Song Yu fundamentally never requested anything at all. Yue Zhishi actually hoped Song Yu could ask for something from him, whether it was to hold his hand or to give him an embrace.


    [Le Le: The first step in becoming a qualified partner in love is to learn how to rely on your other half, and that¡¯s me.]


    The professor started the class once he sent through that message. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t wait for Song Yu to reply, opening his laptop and preparing to learn.


    The courses after entering university were actually very different compared to how Yue Zhishi imagined they would be. Professors no longer focused on specific points of knowledge; instead, they focused on teaching them how to think, getting the students to turn their brains into ¡®legal minds¡¯ through training. At the same time, law was also closely related to many other fields ¡ª not only did the students need to learn the law, they also needed to understand the content of many other interrelated disciplines in order to understand a specific case.


    Yue Zhishi was used to learning about all kinds of different things, so he adapted to it pretty easily.


    ¡°Professor Zhang¡¯s classes scare me the most.¡± Shen Mi left his phone on his desk and opened his textbook. ¡°Please don¡¯t call on me.¡±


    Professor Zhang always assumed everyone had already understood the background knowledge of the cases when it came time for his classes. His ¡®casual questions¡¯ always left the majority of the students silent, unable to answer them, but Yue Zhishi usually had already researched the background material while doing his reading.


    After answering questions two classes in a row, Yue Zhishi remained the only person who had anything to say. His looks were also unique, so the professor very quickly remembered his name.


    ¡°You¡¯re not bad.¡± The old professor nodded with his hands behind his back. ¡°Good, continue studying well and you¡¯ll have a bright future.¡±


    Shen Mi needed to go to training with the university basketball team once the class ended, so Yue Zhishi went together with Jiang Yufan to eat at the cafeteria. The cafeteria was extremely busy; Yue Zhishi only checked his phone after he found a place to sit with his food. His phone was covered by many WeChat messages.


    But his eyes went straight to the unread messages in the pinned chat at the top.


    [Gege: You¡¯re right.]


    [Gege: I still have one more thing to say ¡ª I forgot to say it earlier after getting interrupted. If I were to do it again, I probably still wouldn¡¯t let you come to watch the competition, and I still wouldn¡¯t send the video recording to you. But I would change my introduction of you to ¡®the person I like¡¯.]


    As if he was patching up his words, there was yet another message one minute later.


    [Gege: So everyone would stop guessing. It was so annoying.]


    Yue Zhishi gazed at the chat, grinning so foolishly he didn¡¯t even eat. Jiang Yufan watched him for a while and then gave him a kick, dragging him back to reality.


    ¡°You find money? What¡¯s so funny?¡±


    ¡°What money? I didn¡¯t even accept the three-figure windfall dropped from the sky.¡± Yue Zhishi picked up his chopsticks and stuffed a piece of red braised pork belly into his mouth. It was soft and fragrant, the fat coating his mouth without being greasy. He originally wasn¡¯t hungry, but his appetite woke up after this one bite ¡ª he went to grab a quail egg and pushed his bowl of food over to Jiang Yufan. ¡°This quail egg and red braised pork belly¡¯s really, really delicious. Try it.¡±


    ¡°Wait.¡± Jiang Yufan clutched his own chin with a hand like a terrible detective. ¡°I feel like after you¡¯ve gotten better, there¡¯s been something different about you. It¡¯s like you¡¯ve been soaked in a pot of honey, laughing and smiling every day. And you¡¯re always chatting with someone. Are you in an online relationship?¡±


    ¡°Who would I be in an online relationship with.¡± Yue Zhishi shoved some rice into his mouth guiltily.


    Jiang Yufan dipped his head. ¡°True, if you really did get into an online relationship with your looks, then the other person is definitely the luckiest king of pulls.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean?¡±


    ¡°Being able to get into an online relationship with you, wouldn¡¯t that be the same as blindly pulling the rarest, most limited item?¡±


    Yue Zhishi broke into laughter at that description. He secretly thought ¡ª the person he actually managed to pull should be the most limited of all limited items, the only one in the entire world.


    ¡°Aiyah, just look at how messily you¡¯re eating. Wipe your face.¡±


    ¡°Hurry up and try the pork, it¡¯s so good.¡±


    Jiang Yufan picked up a piece. ¡°Hey! It really is, I¡¯ll get this next time.¡± Swallowing, he received a message and then said, extremely excited, ¡°Le Le, I can actually go act in a comedy play!¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Yue Zhishi was also really happy. ¡°You¡¯re too amazing, when are the roles being selected?¡±


    Jiang Yufan glanced at his message. ¡°The 8th. I¡¯m starting to get a little nervous now.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll be fine,¡± Yue Zhishi comforted him. ¡°You speak well, have a great upright figure and have a super energetic voice too. You¡¯re particularly suited to act in plays. I¡¯ll come watch your performance.¡±


    ¡°Oh that¡¯s right, have you registered for something yet?¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded, taking a large sip of his soy milk. ¡°I registered for the clothing design competition, the preliminary round¡¯s on October 9th. I think I¡¯m definitely going to be busy over the National Day holiday.¡±


    ¡°Shit, isn¡¯t that the day before your birthday?¡± Jiang Yufan gave him a chicken wing from his own plate of food. ¡°But that¡¯s fine too, you can go directly home and celebrate afterwards since the results won¡¯t come out the same day.¡±


    That said, Yue Zhishi still felt a large amount of pressure from the clothing design competition. He might really like to draw, but he still wasn¡¯t someone officially studying clothing design. A large university such as this would definitely have some hidden dragons and crouching tigers, and Yue Zhishi was less confident the more he thought about it.


    Coincidentally, the faculty basketball team didn¡¯t have any matches lately, everyone busying themselves with the arts festival. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t go to training either, using all of his extra time on learning how to design clothes. He borrowed a bunch of books from the library, and he immersed himself completely, drawing designs in his dorm up until 1:30 in the morning.


    The paper quality of the sketchbooks from the university¡¯s stationery store was very ordinary. Drawing a few lines with his pencil, Yue Zhishi abruptly got lost in his thoughts.


    He thought of the leather-covered sketchbook Song Yu had given him when he graduated high school. Yue Zhishi had left it at home, not having brought it to campus; the paper quality of that sketchbook was the best he¡¯d ever used.


    So in the spur of the moment, Yue Zhishi sent Song Yu a message.


    [Le Le: Gege, where did you buy the sketchbook you gave me? Do you have a link? Or did you buy it in store.]


    Song Yu gave him a call directly without replying to his message. Yue Zhishi rushed out of his dorm as silently as he could, closing the door, and accepted the call once he entered the corridor.


    Song Yu¡¯s low and deep voice came through the phone. ¡°Why are you still awake?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sketching some designs.¡± Yue Zhishi really missed him as soon as he heard his voice. It felt like they¡¯d only seen each other during mealtimes the last few days. ¡°Why are you awake too?¡±


    The sounds of typing transferred over through the speaker.


    ¡°There¡¯s something wrong with the data. I¡¯m trying to find out where we went wrong.¡±


    Yue Zhishi hummed in acknowledgement, and then he asked again about the sketchbook. The keyboard noises suddenly paused; Song Yu only spoke after a long moment passed. ¡°That¡¯s not easy to buy.¡±


    ¡°Really? Don¡¯t worry about it then. I just remembered it all of a sudden because the paper in it was so nice,¡± Yue Zhishi said, his back resting against the wall.


    ¡°¡­I can ask about it, if you want it.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t chat with him for too long, worried he would disturb Song Yu¡¯s work. After hanging up the call, he sent over I really miss you, and Song Yu replied Don¡¯t stay up too late.


    He decided he was going to bring back the sketchbook next time he went back home. There were too many drawings of Song Yu in that sketchbook ¡ª his face, his silhouette, and even his hands. In the past, Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t thought much of all of these drawings, but now that he was in a relationship with Song Yu, it was like they had all turned into pieces of evidence of his crush.


    No one had ever been like him, foolishly unaware of his own crush.


    Both of them were very busy over the one week holiday. Song Yu was taken by his advisor to attend a conference in Beijing, his return planned for the 9th. Yue Zhishi missed him terribly; this was Song Yu¡¯s first time away since they¡¯d officially gotten together. They talked on the phone every day, and whenever Yue Zhishi ran out of ideas for his designs, he¡¯d touch the turquoise sitting on his desk.


    At the tail end of the holiday break, Yue Zhishi returned home to have dinner with Lin Rong and Song Jin. But with the preliminary round upcoming, his designs had been stuck at a very tricky spot, light on inspiration, and he had no interest in resting. He stayed at home for only one day before he returned to campus, taking that grey-coloured sketchbook with him.


    The sky was also grey, as though it wanted to rain. Yue Zhishi slightly regretted focusing so much on chatting with Song Yu as he was leaving, instead of listening to Aunt Rong and putting on that denim jacket.


    He held his sketchbook, needing to take the subway by himself for over an hour before he could get back to campus. There were also over ten hours before he could see Song Yu, but Yue Zhishi held back from calling him, afraid he would take up his time.


    But unexpectedly, Song Yu sent him a message, asking him when he would arrive back to campus and even reminding him not to fall asleep on the train.


    Yue Zhishi honestly replied he still had five stops, and he also said he was extremely awake right now. He was just craving some milk tea.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t respond further, so Yue Zhishi put in his earphones to listen to music, pulling out the laptop in his bag to continue some sketches. He was so absorbed in his drawings that he almost missed his stop ¡ª he ran out of the carriage right as the doors were about to fully close. He released a breath in relief and got onto the escalators.


    Yue Zhishi was exhausted, carrying his bag. As he stood on the escalator, he thought ¡ª subway stations were truly very strange. They were clearly overflowing with people, and yet they didn¡¯t hold much evidence of human touch; they were like separate workstations on an urban assembly line.


    Every single figure came and went in a hurry, storming in before they were transferred over to the next workstation. Everyone stayed here very temporarily, very briefly ¡ª and yet they were separated for only a very short amount of time as well, all of their emotions flowing at an accelerated pace.


    Yue Zhishi was the slowest moving section in the tide in this sped up city. He held his drawings and wearily followed along with everyone else as they went towards the exit.


    The cold wind outside blew at him, and he shrunk his neck in, thinking it was about to rain soon. In the next moment, in the stream of people rushing and going, he caught sight of a wholly motionless form.


    Thinking he was mistaken, Yue Zhishi froze where he stood. The endless stream of people circled around him, as though he was a lifeless stone in the middle of the river currents.


    Except the other, initially still, stone moved, and it walked towards him step by step with a gentle and tender face.


    ¡°Gone blank from being too tired?¡±


    Song Yu wore a black windbreaker, a dark grey paper bag in his hand, and he stopped in front of Yue Zhishi. Seeing him wear only a thin hoodie without even a light coat, Song Yu asked, ¡°Aren¡¯t you cold?¡± He pulled out a warm cup of milk tea from the bag and held it out to Yue Zhishi.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s nose started to abruptly burn as he took it. ¡°Didn¡¯t you say you were coming back tomorrow? Why didn¡¯t you didn¡¯t say anything before coming back ahead of time¡­¡±


    His voice was exceptionally soft in the noisy cacophony of the subway station. The tip of his nose was also slightly red, and a faint layer of tears covered his eyes. As he looked at him like this, an extraordinarily strange impulse, one that deviated from his original plans, suddenly grew in Song Yu¡¯s heart ¡ª he pulled Yue Zhishi¡¯s arm and took him to the bathroom in the subway station, not caring about anything else.


    Yue Zhishi asked him what he was doing, but Song Yu didn¡¯t respond. The bathroom was empty, but he tugged him into a cubicle, heading in himself and locking the door.


    ¡°What are we here for?¡±


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you tell me to rely on you?¡± Song Yu pressed him onto the cubicle door. ¡°I really missed you, and right now, I really need you.¡±


    And with that, he lifted up Yue Zhishi¡¯s chin and kissed him.


    The kiss came without warning, leaving him undefended, and Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart was captured almost instantly.


    This kiss was completely different from the gentle touches from before; the aggression and possessiveness Song Yu usually hid so well erupted at this moment. Yue Zhishi¡¯s waist was tightly clutched as he was pressed against the door, and his tongue passively tangled with Song Yu¡¯s.


    In this cramped and intimate space, he heard the sound as the metal buckle on Song Yu¡¯s belt hit his waist ¡ª he also heard the slight sounds of their suckling, of their kissing. Reason made him a bit flustered, made him want to hold back.


    But desire and inhibition were always contrary to each other, and their lips and tongues were like crudely mating fishes, slippery and suggestive.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s body weakened as he started to find it hard to breathe; his hands almost couldn¡¯t hold Song Yu anymore. Hearing the sounds of Yue Zhishi¡¯s breathing grow louder, Song Yu loosened his arms and retreated a slight distance.


    He watched as Yue Zhishi gulped in air against the wall, thinking he looked both pitiful and loveable. He couldn¡¯t help but caress Yue Zhishi¡¯s face; it was still a bit cold, so he could only pull him into his arms, enveloping him entirely in his windbreaker. Song Yu then raised a hand, softly stroking his back, and helped him breathe.


    Yue Zhishi panted as he leaned against his body. He felt like this Song Yu was an entirely different person compared to the Song Yu a few seconds ago.


    The pleasant smell on Song Yu¡¯s body wrapped around him, and it made him intoxicatingly, sweetly dizzy.


    ¡°It takes so much out of you just to kiss¡­¡± Song Yu murmured next to his ear, his head lowered. Yue Zhishi¡¯s entire body felt both weak and numb at his voice ¡ª it was like he¡¯d been electrified. His ear tingled, and he subconsciously ducked his head away.


    But once he recovered, he felt like Song Yu¡¯s words sounded very incomplete, as though he still had a follow up sentence he¡¯d yet to say.


    Yue Zhishi tilted up his face, his gaze pure and innocent. ¡°So what?¡±


    ¡°Nothing.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Little Jade, something¡¯s not right with you

 CH 63

    Chapter 63: A Stroke of Inspiration


    Yue Zhishi was doubtful of his answer, but he currently didn¡¯t have enough air and was too busy to ponder over it. He just continued hugging Song Yu¡¯s waist, resting on his body for a while. He waited until he felt better, and then he raised his face, very docilely pecking Song Yu¡¯s lips and whispering I really missed you multiple times.


    They were in an enclosed environment, and the bathroom smelled very strongly of an aromatherapy product. Worried it would irritate Yue Zhishi¡¯s breathing, Song Yu didn¡¯t want him to stay here for too long. He kissed Yue Zhishi¡¯s forehead, took off his windbreaker for him to wear and took him away.


    The cold wind rushed straight at them once they went back onto the street. Yue Zhishi followed Song Yu into his car, wrapped in his windbreaker, and he¡¯d just sat down when he straightforwardly asked, ¡°Are you going back to the dorm? Or the apartment?¡±


    Song Yu fastened his seatbelt. ¡°The apartment. My dorm mates are still in Beijing.¡±


    Yue Zhishi twisted over when he heard this and placed his hand on Song Yu¡¯s arm. ¡°Then can I go too? I want to go.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t immediately respond. He turned on the car, and then looked towards Yue Zhishi after a few moments. ¡°You really aren¡¯t afraid of me at all.¡±


    That question came out as certainly as a declarative sentence, as though Yue Zhishi should actually guard against him a bit. After all, he had lost control just then ¡ª he hadn¡¯t cared about what time it was or where they were, let alone his own obsession with cleanliness.


    ¡°Why would I be afraid of you?¡± Yue Zhishi was slightly confused, adding a few seconds later, ¡°Oh, but I am a little bit. I was really afraid of you getting angry when I was younger. Even though you wouldn¡¯t lose your temper at me, you wouldn¡¯t speak at all. I don¡¯t like it when you brood.¡±


    They were completely not on the same page at all. Song Yu gave up. He saw Yue Zhishi still clutching that sketchbook, and he was reminded of that paper bag he had been prepared to give him when they first saw each other; the entire matter had been tossed to the back of his mind because of that unplanned kiss. He pulled it over and handed it to Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°You can put that in here.¡±


    ¡°Is there anything else inside?¡± Yue Zhishi saw it earlier and had been curious about why it was so large, thinking it was to only carry the milk tea. Glancing inside, he realised in astonishment that it held a new sketchbook with a dusty blue leather cover, and a block of cheese was also etched onto it.


    ¡°You managed to get it?¡± Yue Zhishi was very happily surprised. ¡°That¡¯s fantastic, I really like this sketchbook.¡± He stroked the small cheese design on the cover and curiously asked Song Yu, ¡°Is this the brand¡¯s logo?¡±


    Song Yu vaguely said, ¡°Something like that.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s so cute,¡± Yue Zhishi said from the bottom of his heart. He even hugged the new sketchbook together with the old one.


    ¡°How is it cute¡­..¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice sounded uneasy.


    Giving up on trying to understand Song Yu¡¯s tastes, Yue Zhishi switched to ask about his Beijing conference. He only then learned that Song Yu had given up on the group activities on the final day ¡ª the academic conference had ended that morning, and he¡¯d bought the final flight back.


    ¡°You should¡¯ve gone to the Great Wall with them.¡± Yue Zhishi felt sorry for him.


    ¡°It¡¯s too boring. I didn¡¯t want to go.¡±


    The sky darkened very rapidly, and by the time they arrived at the apartment, the sky had turned into full night. As Song Yu parked the car, Yue Zhishi suddenly realised: the car didn¡¯t smell of a scent diffuser. It held only the fragrance from Song Yu¡¯s body, as well as the very faint scent of leather that drifted up from the seats.


    Song Yu asked him about the arts festival when they were in the elevator. ¡°How¡¯s your preparation going?¡±


    ¡°Can I say not well?¡± Yue Zhishi leaned against the elevator wall, looking at him. ¡°I really don¡¯t know what I¡¯m doing.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t blindly encourage him like other people; instead, he very seriously asked why he felt that way.


    ¡°I¡¯m not professional at all.¡± The elevator arrived at their floor. Yue Zhishi shifted the backpack on his body and followed behind Song Yu. ¡°I read through a lot of books lately, and I only just realised how hard it is to design clothes. There¡¯s so much professional knowledge I don¡¯t have, and so far, I still don¡¯t know how to differentiate between different kinds of fabrics.¡±


    He sighed. ¡°And I don¡¯t have any inspiration right now. The theme for the preliminary round is ¡®lake¡¯. I thought it was a really simple theme at first ¡ª since we see lakes so often ¡ª but I wasn¡¯t satisfied with any of my designs after sketching out a lot. Plus the preliminary round¡¯s tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°You still have some time.¡± Song Yu sounded like he was the organiser of the competition. ¡°The preliminary round won¡¯t be that strict. As long as you give them completed design drafts and ideas, there¡¯s no reason for them not to pass you.¡±


    ¡°Really? Then what should I do in the later stages? I¡¯ll need to personally make the clothes¡­¡±


    Song Yu swiped the keycard, pushing open the door, and took Yue Zhishi¡¯s bag to place it down in the entrance hall. He then put his hand on the top of Yue Zhishi¡¯s head. ¡°How remarkable. You¡¯re a child who can even make clothes with his own two hands now.¡±


    That sentence, paired with the imperturbable look on his indifferent face, sounded cute in a strange way. It was like he was a robot complimenting his little master according to his inbuilt programs, and at this thought, Yue Zhishi burst into laughter and glommed onto Song Yu.


    ¡°You¡¯re so funny.¡± He rested his chin on the top of Song Yu¡¯s shoulder.


    Song Yu found it very peculiar ¡ª no matter if it was ¡®cute¡¯ or ¡®funny¡¯, both of those descriptions didn¡¯t match him at all. But he still hugged Yue Zhishi back, even lifting him up in his arms without a single prior warning. He only let him down after Yue Zhishi called out ge in alarm.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    ¡°You haven¡¯t lost weight,¡± Song Yu said, as if to himself.


    Yue Zhishi laughed again. ¡°It¡¯s only been a few days, how could I lose weight?¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s hand lay on his lower back, and he said, very mildly, ¡°It feels like it¡¯s been a long time.¡±


    At these words, Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart stumbled slightly.


    He didn¡¯t know where he found the courage, but he caught Song Yu¡¯s hand and tugged him towards into the apartment. The curtains in the living room had yet to be pulled down, and the semi-dark space looked almost dark blue, like another lake. They headed towards the island in the middle ¡ª the soft sofa. Yue Zhishi loosened his hand and lightly pushed Song Yu¡¯s shoulder, hinting at him to sit on the sofa; he himself sat on top of Song Yu¡¯s thighs.


    In the dimly lit space, he could see the touch of uncertainty in Song Yu¡¯s eyes. Yue Zhishi took off the windbreaker and circled his arms around Song Yu¡¯s neck. ¡°I keep remembering about the kiss that was interrupted last time.¡±


    His voice seemed thin and flimsy in the empty room ¡ª but it was because it was too quiet here, and even the sound of his breathing became very obvious.


    ¡°And I remember how it was interrupted. I also remember how much pain you were in afterwards, because we did something bad and because it might hurt your mom.¡±


    The puffs of air from Yue Zhishi¡¯s nose approached Song Yu, and there was a minute change in the tone of his voice.


    ¡°But for some reason, I think I like this feeling.¡±


    Song Yu found it odd how this person, who had no knowledge of sexual desire at all, could display such a delicate, inexperienced allure at this very moment.


    ¡°What feeling?¡± He wrapped his arms around Yue Zhishi¡¯s waist.


    ¡°The feeling of doing wrong things with you.¡± Once those words left his mouth, Yue Zhishi lowered his head, leaned in and did what he really, really wanted to do.


    Song Yu¡¯s lips were a bit cold, but they were very soft and supple; Yue Zhishi¡¯s breathing was unsteady almost in the span of one moment.


    He tried copying what Song Yu did in order to become the person in control, but he sensed that he wasn¡¯t doing it well as he pressed their lips together, gently rubbing or sucking. He could even sense that his movements were making Song Yu impatient, because he tightened his hold on him until their chests pressed together.


    He felt constricted, and it became even harder to breathe.


    Within this clumsy kiss, like a child filled with reluctance to leave, Yue Zhishi intermittently called out for his gege, but little by little, he lost that brief moment of control. Song Yu¡¯s entire person lurched forward to save the body that subconsciously pulled away in shyness ¡ª he clamped onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s waist, and Yue Zhishi¡¯s upper body arched backwards under the rising moon.


    Song Yu¡¯s kiss swallowed his breaths like lake water, the illusionary feeling of having an allergic attack once again appearing. Yue Zhishi tightly grasped onto Song Yu¡¯s clothes, and his mouth opened, separating from the kiss, in the fluster of him tilting backwards. He was like a drowning man desperately struggling for the surface of the water, seeking just one breath.


    So Song Yu¡¯s lips started to move downwards, leaving behind traces of moisture on his flushed neck.


    ¡°Ge¡­¡±


    Only one sound had left his mouth when Yue Zhishi¡¯s entire world spun. He was set down onto the sofa, his back sinking deeply into softness.


    Song Yu rushed on top of him, and he watched as the gleaming shimmer of the lake outside the window suddenly landed on Song Yu¡¯s right eye and temple. The cool toned ray of light floated suggestively on his handsome face, as though it yearned to rise and fall.


    He was the lake that was about to swallow him whole.


    Song Yu propped himself up with a hand on the edge of the sofa, just about to lower his head to kiss ¡ª and then abruptly, Yue Zhishi prevented him from doing so. ¡°I got it!¡±


    Seeing him like that, Song Yu paused, puzzled. Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes were bright and luminous, and the look on his face changed from the dazed confusion from before to a vivid liveliness, as though he¡¯d been suddenly injected with something.


    ¡°Gege, wait a bit. Get up first. I just had a great stroke of inspiration.¡± He wormed out from the narrow gap in between Song Yu¡¯s arms, ran to the entrance hall and turned back to him after rummaging through his bag, the sketchbook and pens in his arms.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Song Yu noticed his voice was somewhat hoarse, so he cleared his throat.


    ¡°I know how to express the theme now. It doesn¡¯t have to be the richly green lake water of lovely weather days ¡ª the lake is also very beautiful in the dark.¡± Yue Zhishi was extremely excited. He pretty much forgot that the collar of his hoodie had been pulled to one side, a stretch of his glowing, pale collarbones still exposed.


    Song Yu turned his face away and didn¡¯t look at it. Yue Zhishi even ran over on purpose and kissed Song Yu¡¯s cheek very generously. ¡°The light from the lake on your face just then was so beautiful, and it was that moment that inspired me. Thank you.¡±


    He sat down on the floor, cross-legged, as soon as he finished speaking. He borrowed the shimmers from the lake, his pen flying across the paper as he outlined the design. He shared his thoughts with Song Yu, saying, ¡°I want the base to be a wide swath of black and dark blue colours. And then with something like silver tulle, the raised neckline would make it look almost submerged ¡ª as well as with silver embellishments.¡±


    Yue Zhishi raised his head and looked towards Song Yu. ¡°I¡¯ve even thought of the make-up. I want the same kind of effect as when you were on top of me.¡±


    Song Yu nodded, looking like he was slightly dissatisfied. He half-crouched in front of Yue Zhishi and pulled up his chin, forcing him to give him a kiss. He acted a bit ferociously and rose up before Yue Zhishi realised what was happening, turning on the lights in the living room for him.


    As he picked up the windbreaker from the floor and turned to leave, Yue Zhishi reached out a hand and caught Song Yu¡¯s calf. His eyes were still focused on his sketchbook, and yet his voice carried a coquettish lilt that was hard to detect. ¡°Where are you going?¡±


    ¡°To shower.¡±


    ¡°You have to turn the water up a bit warmer, or else you might catch a cold.¡±


    Song Yu rather suspected he said it on purpose.


    Since he now had an idea, Yue Zhishi was filled with energy, and he was swiftly immersed into his work.


    He first drew out his general ideas on paper, and then he went upstairs with his bag, sitting down in front of the desk in his room. He completed his first draft with his drawing tablet and laptop. Even though it was just the preliminary round in his school, Yue Zhishi still wanted to do his best, unwilling to just go through the motions. Following the theme of ¡®lake¡¯, he drew five pieces, the main colours being a subdued black, navy blue and dark turquoise, and used thin, sheer fabrics on the clothing shapes to portray the sensation of rippling water.


    Song Yu came out of the bathroom in his pyjamas and went to stand behind Yue Zhishi, staring at the screen.


    ¡°How is it?¡± Yue Zhishi freed up a hand to search for Song Yu¡¯s hand, but he couldn¡¯t find it no matter where he groped ¡ª Song Yu caught him instead.


    ¡°Don¡¯t cause trouble again,¡± Song Yu quietly said.


    Yue Zhishi felt like he wasn¡¯t causing trouble at all, let alone ¡®again¡¯. He squeezed Song Yu¡¯s hand, assuring him, ¡°Wait for me, I¡¯ll go shower once I finish.¡±


    This wait took a few hours. By the time Yue Zhishi finished colouring in his last piece, it was already close to midnight. Looking over, he realised Song Yu was already asleep on the bed, so he softly creeped to the bathroom downstairs, speedily cleaning up before he crawled into Song Yu¡¯s blanket.


    He¡¯d just gotten in when Song Yu appeared to wake up, his eyebrows drawing together. Yue Zhishi was somewhat dismayed, but in the next second, the semiconscious Song Yu wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into his embrace.


    ¡°Have you finished¡­.¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice sounded very muffled, very hoarse.


    ¡°Mn.¡± Yue Zhishi kissed his neck. ¡°Thankfully I have you, or else I wouldn¡¯t know what I would¡¯ve done tomorrow.¡±


    Song Yu made a vague noise in response, and his hand slipped under the edge of Yue Zhishi¡¯s pyjamas, touching the bare skin of his back.


    ¡°Still want to do wrong things?¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s face suddenly burned, his lower back tingling. ¡°Ah¡­¡±


    A very light noise came from Song Yu¡¯s noise, and it sounded like a laugh. He caressed Yue Zhishi¡¯s spine. ¡°Sleep.¡±


    With an early class that morning, Yue Zhishi got out of bed early together with Song Yu. He arrived on campus in Song Yu¡¯s car and edited his drafted designs after lunch, quickly putting them into a powerpoint.


    The preliminary round was each school¡¯s selection of competitors ¡ª the ones who got through would enter the university¡¯s competition in a team. The rules for the preliminary round were relatively simple because of that reason; everyone only needed to submit their design drafts. They were not required to actually construct the clothes. The preliminary rounds for both the law school and journalism and communication school were both on the 9th, and they were also in the same multimedia classroom.


    The round for the journalism and communication school was booked for 2pm to 4pm, while the law school was for 4pm to 6pm. Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t stand waiting in his dorm after finishing his powerpoint, so he went over at 3pm.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be nervous don¡¯t be nervous.¡± Jiang Yufan went with him, and he squeezed Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulder. ¡°You definitely can get in. It¡¯s not easy getting into the school team, so don¡¯t you worry.¡±


    There were other people other than the two of them in the corridor; there were quite a few law students who¡¯d arrived early just like Yue Zhishi. Song Yu couldn¡¯t come with him because he had a class. Yue Zhishi sneaked a look at the window, but he couldn¡¯t see anything ¡ª the curtains on the inside were drawn.


    ¡°Let me through.¡± A voice came from behind them, and Yue Zhishi subconsciously shifted to the side, his back supported by the wall.


    A guy wearing streetwear with vintage translucent orange glasses walked passed him, his chin jutted high. He carried a set of sample clothes that were covered.


    ¡°Let me through, I want to go in.¡±


    Jiang Yufan scoffed in contempt once that guy went inside. ¡°He must be a crab to have to walk sideways.¡±


    ¡°Wow¡­¡± Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t stop himself from emotionally sighing; he¡¯d watched him the entire way until he entered the classroom.


    That guy definitely wasn¡¯t someone simple. The preliminary round started at 2pm, and yet he arrived fashionably late at 3pm. He wasn¡¯t nervous at all, even going above and beyond the requirements to make clothing samples.


    ¡°What¡¯s so amazing about him?¡± Jiang Yufan grasped Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulders very protectively and shook him. ¡°You are the best. Understand?!¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s pretty strong.¡± Next to them, a girl also from the law school spoke, looking as though she recognised the person who¡¯d just gone in. ¡°My boyfriend¡¯s in journalism, and he says that guy is most famous person in the school¡¯s new students. He¡¯s called Xu Lin. His dad¡¯s a television news anchor, and his mom is quite a famous fashion designer. Both of them could be judges for our competition.¡±


    It was like Jiang Yufan was suddenly enlightened. ¡°Ooh, so the child¡¯s following his mother¡¯s footsteps. No wonder he looked so arrogant.¡±


    That girl said again, ¡°Yeah, I didn¡¯t expect him to participate as well. Looks like the first place this year will belong to the journalism and communication school.¡±


    Jiang Yufan nudged Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulder when he saw he wasn¡¯t speaking. ¡°Don¡¯t be nervous.¡±


    ¡°Mn, I¡¯m okay.¡± He had been so panicked before yesterday, but Yue Zhishi felt like he¡¯d already stopped being nervous ¡ª he didn¡¯t know why. He was only a bit curious about how everyone else¡¯s designs looked.


    He took out a piece of milk candy from his pocket, chucking it into his mouth.


    The journalism school¡¯s preliminary round finished at the same time he finished his candy.


    The door opened, a bunch of people coming out, and the guy called Xu Lin took the lead in exiting. This time, his orange glasses were pushed to the top of his head, his long and narrow eyes full of confidence. He was even leisurely chewing bubble gum, and he was still holding his set of sample clothes.


    There were quite a few people surrounding him. A short guy next to him was flattering him, saying, ¡°You¡¯ll definitely get into the school team. You¡¯re already giving the competition face by participating in the preliminary round, and you even prepared so seriously ¡ª it was virtually an overpowered attack.¡±


    Xu Lin arched an eyebrow, and he didn¡¯t give either a response or an opinion; it seemed like he tacitly agreed.


    When he passed Yue Zhishi, Xu Lin gave him a long look before walking past and turning around again. Yue Zhishi¡¯s brain was currently filled with all the commentary he needed to say, so he walked around him to enter the classroom, not realising someone was looking at him at all.


    ¡°Hey.¡±


    Yue Zhishi still wasn¡¯t aware of what was happening, until someone circled around and ran in front of him ¡ª it was Xu Lin.


    ¡°What school are you from? The law school?¡± Xu Lin asked.


    Jiang Yufan didn¡¯t like his attitude. ¡°What are you ¡®hey¡¯ing for, don¡¯t you know how to say fellow student.¡±


    Yue Zhishi had a good temper, so he nodded at Xu Lin. ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Are you also participating in this?¡± Xu Lin¡¯s eyes measured Yue Zhishi from top to bottom once. ¡°As a model, right? Models actually didn¡¯t need to come today.¡±


    He walked over to study Yue Zhishi¡¯s profile, nodding to himself. ¡°Your body proportions are quite good, and your features are also outstanding. It¡¯d be such a pity if credentials as good as this went to be a model for the law school¡­ Why don¡¯t I hire you, and you can be my model?¡±


    Jiang Yufan laughed in anger, seeing how confident he was. ¡°Don¡¯t you journalism students have people? Poaching from the law school ¡ª who would the championship belong to if you win?¡±


    He¡¯d been misunderstood completely.


    Yue Zhishi looked at Xu Lin and said, extremely candidly, ¡°Fellow student, you¡¯re mistaken. I¡¯m not a model. I registered for the clothing design competition.¡±


    The look on the other person¡¯s face changed ¡ª disbelief covered his entire face, and he even pulled down the orange glasses on top of his head to put them on his nose again. He sized him up once more. ¡°Are you serious? Does the law school not have anyone else to design if they¡¯re planting a model seedling into the hill of design?¡±


    ¡°No one said what a model should look like or what a designer should look like.¡± Yue Zhishi smiled at him. ¡°You¡¯re someone from the fashion industry. You should be more open and tolerant than us.¡±


    But this Xu Lin had a strange personality as well, and he refused to give up. ¡°You really don¡¯t have to go. I¡¯ll tell you directly, the law school doesn¡¯t have much talented people. It¡¯ll be a waste even if you get into the team. Why don¡¯t you come to me ¡ª I can guarantee that I¡¯ll absolutely make you shine at the fashion show.¡±


    Jiang Yufan was rather worried. Yue Zhishi was famous for being soft, unable to reject anyone. It would be terrible if he really did end up being persuaded by this guy.


    ¡°Le Le¡­¡±


    Unexpectedly, Yue Zhishi spoke first. It was an ill-timed thought, but he thought of those words Song Yu had said not too long ago ¡ª and decided to take the first step towards being a qualified adult.


    ¡°Thank you for recognising my outer credentials.¡± He spoke gently, a sincere smile on his face. Xu Lin thought he¡¯d been convinced, crossing his arms across his chest in extreme satisfaction, but Yue Zhishi¡¯s next words deviated from what he imagined.


    ¡°But I apologise, I still refuse your offer. I decided to participate as a designer from the very beginning, and if I can enter my school¡¯s design team and contribute, I¡¯d be honoured beyond measure. I have never considered any other option.¡±


    Xu Lin looked like he couldn¡¯t understand him at all. He even looked as though he was about to roll his eyes at him, before he held himself back. But his chin was still angled highly, and he still held that utter confidence in himself. ¡°You¡¯ll regret it.¡±


    ¡°I won¡¯t.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was still smiling, and he shrugged.


    ¡°And I don¡¯t need other people to make me shine. I can do it myself.¡±

 CH 64

    Chapter 64: Pejoy Biscuit Candles


    Rejecting someone felt better than Yue Zhishi imagined.


    The preliminary round for the law school started, and Yue Zhishi saw Nan Jia as soon as he went inside. She was in charge of running the preliminary round, and she got all of the contestants to line up and pick a number. There were about fifty of them. Yue Zhishi was in the back of the line, and when Nan Jia saw him, she gave him a smile, very softly saying jiayou.


    ¡°Which number are you?¡±


    ¡°49. Second from the last.¡± Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t think it was a good or a bad number, even though many people thought those near the end would be at a disadvantage.


    He and Jiang Yufan headed towards the back of the classroom, sitting down once they found a row of empty seats. Jiang Yufan was even more nervous than Yue Zhishi as he watched the other students go up and explain their inspirations ¡ª he even felt a bit suffocated, and he ran to open the back door behind their seats.


    ¡°This is so hard. Even the audition for my comedy play wasn¡¯t so difficult.¡± He ran back to sit next to Yue Zhishi.


    Yue Zhishi nodded. ¡°Then that means you¡¯re definitely talented at acting.¡±


    Jiang Yufan comforted him too. ¡°You can definitely get through. Don¡¯t listen to that four-eyes and his nonsense.¡±


    Yue Zhishi chuckled; he actually hadn¡¯t been irritated by what Xu Lin said. On the contrary, his fighting spirit was ignited in a way: he hoped he could successfully enter the design team and compete against Xu Lin directly.


    The law school¡¯s contestants brought up their work one after another, explaining their thinking process. After receiving the theme of ¡®lake¡¯, everyone¡¯s design styles were fundamentally the same and were just like Yue Zhishi¡¯s designs from before. The most common colours were green, blue and lake green, and the designs leaned heavily on the gradient colours of water sleeves as well as other traditional Chinese styles. There were a few designs that were astonishingly similar. Yue Zhishi saw the judges whispering with their heads together, the looks on their faces not ideal.


    ¡°Their concepts are so similar.¡± Jiang Yufan knew he wasn¡¯t an expert, so he only whispered as he sat next to Yue Zhishi. ¡°I¡¯d believe it if someone said they were all designed by the same person.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded, and just as he was about to speak, a delicately pretty girl walked onto the stage. She wore a hanfu, and her voice was very thin and very timid ¡ª but one of her sentences captured Yue Zhishi¡¯s attention.


    ¡°I made my outfit myself.¡±


    The judges sitting below were also extremely surprised, all of them nodding. ¡°You¡¯ve done well. We wouldn¡¯t have realised if you didn¡¯t tell us.¡±


    Jiang Yufan looked at her powerpoint and leaned closely to Yue Zhishi, saying, ¡°But her designs aren¡¯t too different from the ones earlier. It still gives off the feeling of Chinese water ink paintings.¡±


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t matter.¡± Yue Zhishi explained, ¡°The arts festival is a group competition between different schools, just like your comedy play. Each team needs to design, but they still need to create outfits for models to wear ¡ª so they also need someone who can construct the end product. Her chances of getting in are slightly higher.¡±


    Jiang Yufan understood. But he felt like it was very strange: everyone around them who had yet to go up was continuously looking over their own powerpoint and design drafts, preparing their commentary. Only Yue Zhishi listened with great interest as other people presented their works, and he even noted down the contestant names and designs that he liked, as though he was a judge.


    When it came time for Yue Zhishi to go up, he didn¡¯t look too different from usual. He gave the judges below him a smile after he opened up his powerpoint, and he opened his speech very naturally. Jiang Yufan sat below, and he saw quite a few girls in the front rows lifting up their phones, cameras all faced towards Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°These are the five designs I created using the theme of ¡®lake¡¯.¡± His digital drawings were projected onto the screen: three sets of womenswear and two sets of menswear. The designs were dreamlike and coolly elegant. ¡°I was inspired by the lake water at nightfall, so I used large areas of dark colours with silver decorations and light polarisation in my designs. The first outfit is a long satin dress. I¡¯ve cut the dress so that it simulates the flowing of water, and the silver and blue polarisation reflects the shimmering nature of lake water.¡±


    He simply explained his designs, and the judges nodded again and again. One of them particularly asked, ¡°Your idea is very unique. Can you share with us your thinking process and the source of your inspiration?¡±


    Yue Zhishi glanced at the backdoor as he listened to the judge¡¯s question. Coincidentally, he saw someone enter the backdoor ¡ª and that person wasn¡¯t a random someone. It just so happened to be his ¡®source of inspiration¡¯.


    Song Yu was wearing a white button-down shirt and a large lead grey coat. Combined with his silver glasses, he looked both distinctive and refined, and he silently sat at the last row of seats, his eyes focused on Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°Inspiration¡­¡± Yue Zhishi, who¡¯d originally been speaking smoothly, suddenly had his words stuck in his throat. His light-coloured cheeks were almost completely suffused with colour. Pursing his lips, he still gave them a very candid answer. ¡°The inspiration came from someone very important to me.¡±


    The few contestants below the stage started talking; they were all students in the law school, and it wasn¡¯t a large circle. Yue Zhishi had been the most popular new student in the school since he started, and no one expected to hear such gossip during the preliminary round.


    Jiang Yufan was first shocked ¡ª and then he frowned, thinking.


    He felt it was very likely that the important person was Yue Zhishi¡¯s older brother. After all, this child was an older brother-con who knew nothing else.


    But he never thought Yue Zhishi would say his next sentence.


    ¡°I saw the lights from the lake reflected on that person¡¯s face one night. It was very beautiful.¡±


    Jiang Yufan thought it wasn¡¯t his older brother after hearing that ¡ª but he still didn¡¯t dare believe Yue Zhishi had a girl he liked and didn¡¯t tell him. His heart hurt.


    Yue Zhishi lowered his eyes, his eyelashes concealing some of his emotions. And yet his ears were still red, as though he¡¯d transformed into a pure and bashful youth from the confident and easygoing designer from before. ¡°¡­I was stunned. I was inspired at that moment. I initially thought the same as everyone else and confined my ¡®lake¡¯ to how it looked during the day: a pool with crystal clear green water. But a lake at night, with its flickers and glow, is also breathtaking. It¡¯s aloof and mysterious.¡±


    The judge nodded in praise. ¡°Very good. Your idea is very rare, and you managed to convey the sense of beauty very well. Your background story is also quite engaging.¡± The people down below all laughed.


    ¡°All right. Next person, please.¡±


    Yue Zhishi came down from the stage, but he didn¡¯t go directly to sit next to Song Yu. He walked with his head lowered all the way to his previous seat; he felt very warm, so he unzipped his sweater, taking it off. He wore only a thin cotton shirt with long sleeves, and he flopped onto the desk. Jiang Yufan leaned in to speak to him, even slipping an arm around his shoulders.


    From Song Yu¡¯s perspective, the sight of Yue Zhishi from the back was always so cute ¡ª with his slightly curly hair, he looked like a stuffed toy.


    ¡°You¡¯re too amazing. Your design is especially striking, I think you¡¯ll definitely get into the team.¡± Jiang Yufan¡¯s gossipy heart awakened. ¡°But that important person you were just talking about¡­ who is it, and why didn¡¯t I know this person existed?¡±


    ¡°That¡­¡± Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t find a suitable reason to explain it away in the spur of the moment. Besides, his entire brain was currently filled with Song Yu.


    His phone abruptly vibrated, and Yue Zhishi looked down to check.


    [Gege: Put on your jacket.]


    Once he saw that message, he finally couldn¡¯t hold himself back from turning around.


    Song Yu was steadily looking at him, his gaze warm. Yue Zhishi was very aware that his face was the same one he¡¯d tried to hide in his designs; he didn¡¯t want the model to look too similar to Song Yu. He¡¯d edited his designs many times, and yet no matter how unrecognisably he changed them, there was no way he could conceal the heart that liked him.


    He turned his head back to the front, and pulled his jacket back on.


    The final person¡¯s explanation finished at this moment, and the people around him all stood up to go outside. Some of them went towards the backdoor, while some of them headed to the front. Anyone who walked past Song Yu also looked at him, and after a good few people did the same thing, Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t sit still anymore. He rose up, walked towards Song Yu and stopped in front of him.


    Seeing Yue Zhishi leaving, Jiang Yufan also followed behind. When he unexpectedly saw Song Yu, he hurriedly greeted him. ¡°Senior, why¡¯d you come?¡±


    ¡°I heard there was a preliminary round here. I just wanted to have a look.¡± Song Yu stood up as well, and he walked out of the classroom shoulder to shoulder with Yue Zhishi.


    The outside sky was slowly darkening. In a hurry to have dinner with his girlfriend, Jiang Yufan rushed away, saying he¡¯d bring something delicious back to the dorm for Yue Zhishi. Only the two of them remained, and Yue Zhishi shifted closer to Song Yu.


    Song Yu thought he was cold and wanted to take off his own heavy coat. Yue Zhishi quickly realised what he was doing and stopped him. ¡°My jacket¡¯s very warm.¡± He pressed down on Song Yu¡¯s arm before releasing it and continued to walk, sticking closely to him. He asked the same question Jiang Yufan had asked earlier. ¡°Why¡¯d you come?¡±


    But Song Yu gave a different response.


    ¡°I came to see what good thing you managed to do by using me.¡±


    There was a bit of teasing underlying his words, and Yue Zhishi felt apologetic ¡ª but he also felt Song Yu was being very cute. He couldn¡¯t help but stroke his arm. ¡°Then what did you think?¡±


    Now, Song Yu didn¡¯t tease him. He faintly nodded, his voice serious. ¡°Very well designed. Maybe you can also try getting into that field.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m still far from doing it professionally.¡± Yue Zhishi felt his words were already very high praise. He puffed up in pride, like a balloon filled up with air that floated up to the sky. He wanted to hold hands, but he needed to hold back; there were too many people.


    Song Yu took him to a very hidden little restaurant. It wasn¡¯t on campus and was outside of the professors¡¯ residential buildings, with most of its customers living in that neighbourhood. He ordered a chicken soup simmered in a clay pot, and it held meticulously stewed chestnuts and orange cordyceps militaris fungus. He also ordered a large portion of the stewed meat dish Yue Zhishi enjoyed, and the porcelain soup bowl was packed to the brim, a layer of bright and glossy chili oil poured over the top with white sesame seeds sprinkled everywhere.


    Steaming bowls of rice were delivered, and Yue Zhishi poured a spoonful of the heavily aromatic sauce over his bowl. He mixed it all together and stuffed a large portion into his mouth ¡ª the rice, mixed with the sauce, was both flavourful and chewy, and it was a very simple and homey taste.


    The stewed meat dish at this restaurant reminded Yue Zhishi of the Grandma¡¯s Stewed Flavour in front of their high school. He had only eaten one bite, and yet he thought of why he¡¯d needed to hide from the rain, thought of Song Yu picking him up from the corridor with his umbrella.


    In a daze, Yue Zhishi thought ¡ª perhaps he¡¯d already liked Song Yu by then, just a little. He just hadn¡¯t realised.


    Or else why would he have been afraid of staying at that corridor by himself after Song Yu graduated.


    But if Yue Zhishi tried to look back on his feelings, he truly might not be able to find when his feelings started to change ¡ª because from the day he met Song Yu, he had already liked him, very much.


    Song Yu ate a bit more than he usually did, so Yue Zhishi asked, ¡°Do you really like this place? It feels like you have a good appetite.¡±


    ¡°I just felt like you would like this place.¡± Song Yu then explained, ¡°I didn¡¯t have time to eat lunch, so I¡¯m eating both meals at the same time.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was extremely unhappy at how he didn¡¯t take care of himself. ¡°You can¡¯t be like that. You should¡¯ve told me if you didn¡¯t have time to eat, I could¡¯ve delivered some food to you.¡±


    ¡°You had your preliminary round in the afternoon.¡±


    The subtext underneath Song Yu¡¯s words was quite clear, but Yue Zhishi refused to care. ¡°You should¡¯ve told me anyway. Nothing¡¯s more important than you.¡±


    His voice was a bit loud, and the couple next to them glanced at them before turning back to their own food.


    Song Yu quietly pulled off the skin and bones from a piece of chicken with his chopsticks, dunking the flesh into the dipping sauce before placing it into Yue Zhishi¡¯s bowl. It was like he was  both surrendering and consoling, and Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice softened. ¡°You need to tell me next time.¡±


    ¡°I will,¡± Song Yu said solemnly.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart felt better, and he devoured the piece of chicken Song Yu gave him. He then said, ¡°I¡¯m going to remind you about all three meals in a day.¡±


    ¡°All right.¡±


    Song Yu knew he didn¡¯t need to say why he didn¡¯t end up eating lunch; it would only worry Yue Zhishi. But he couldn¡¯t hold back his tongue ¡ª and so he saw Yue Zhishi anxious for him, saw Yue Zhishi throw a small, rarely seen fit of temper for him.


    Song Yu sometimes really needed a thing like this in order to prove something ¡ª so that his heart that increasingly craved Yue Zhishi could find a place to stand.


    But in the end, he still didn¡¯t want Yue Zhishi to be worried about him, so he added, ¡°It¡¯s only because I want to change research areas in the future. I might need to change research groups, so I want to quickly produce some results and pass as soon as possible. It¡¯ll be fine after this busy period.¡±


    It wasn¡¯t that simple in reality. He¡¯d stayed in his professor¡¯s office from 3 to 5:30pm, listening as his professor said many things he wasn¡¯t willing to hear ¡ª including things that weren¡¯t related to his studies. He¡¯d almost missed Yue Zhishi¡¯s preliminary round because of it, but luckily Yue Zhishi was the second to the last person to present his designs.


    Yue Zhishi understood Song Yu; he¡¯d undertaken a large portion of the work in his previous group. His advisor must be reluctant to let him go.


    ¡°Then did your advisor agree to you leaving?¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t answer him directly, and he even carried a touch of emotions as he spoke.


    ¡°To be precise, he¡¯s just my undergraduate advisor. I still haven¡¯t graduated, and I haven¡¯t started my postgraduate work yet. It¡¯s not up to him to agree.¡±


    Song Yu also said, ¡°A different advisor is now in charge of the group I want to get into. I¡¯ll most likely head to him once it¡¯s confirmed I don¡¯t need to take the postgraduate entrance exam.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t really understand his field, so he didn¡¯t continue to query. ¡°In any case, I¡¯ll get angry if you don¡¯t take care of yourself.¡±


    ¡°You never used to get angry,¡± Song Yu said, ¡°unless you were sick.¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought to himself, he didn¡¯t get angry at Song Yu because he didn¡¯t have the status to do so.


    ¡°I¡¯ll get angry now, and I¡¯ll even lose my temper at you.¡± Yue Zhishi propped up his chin with his hands. ¡°What do you think?¡±


    ¡°As long as you don¡¯t get sick, you can lose your temper however you¡¯d like.¡±


    There was no reason for Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart not to weaken after hearing something like that. He couldn¡¯t help it ¡ª he squeezed Song Yu¡¯s ankles between his calves, covertly acting cutely spoiled.


    After finishing their meal, they headed towards campus from the residential area¡¯s entrance, holding hands for three minutes in the dim alleyways. It was such a short amount of time, but a layer of sweat still grew on the palm of Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand. He couldn¡¯t tell if it was because he was too nervous or if it was because he liked doing it too much ¡ª or maybe it was because of both those reasons.


    They passed by the Plum Garden playground, and they saw the movie playing in the open air cinema as well as the large crowds of people. Yue Zhishi only then remembered today was Friday.


    ¡°There¡¯s so many people.¡± He gazed at the cinema screen as he continued walking. He could vaguely see the faces of the male and female lead actors; it was a European romantic film.


    With just a glimpse at his face, Song Yu knew Yue Zhishi wanted to go watch. He promptly headed in that direction without asking, and Yue Zhishi was like a small animal who couldn¡¯t leave his master¡¯s side, rushing immediately to him as soon as he walked in a different direction. He once again stuck closely to Song Yu¡¯s arm.


    ¡°Are we going to watch the movie?¡± His voice was a bit excited.


    ¡°Mn.¡±


    There were too many people, so Song Yu reached out a hand to lightly hold onto Yue Zhishi. There were already no spots to sit in; they could only stand and watch, and they stood at the tail end of a crowd of people. The male and female leads in the movie were strolling on the river bank at dusk, talking about a book they both liked. The female lead unexpectedly changed the subject and said today was her birthday. Yue Zhishi foolishly said to the screen, ¡°What a coincidence. My birthday¡¯s tomorrow.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s mouth curled up, and he smoothened out Yue Zhishi¡¯s hair that had been blown into a mess by the wind. He pulled up the hood of Yue Zhishi¡¯s jacket for him and said he was going to buy some water, asking if there was anything Yue Zhishi wanted.


    Yue Zhishi shook his head. It was rare for him to not request anything, only telling Song Yu to quickly come back.


    More and more people started to arrive. Everyone huddled together within the darkness, many of them paired up into couples. Yue Zhishi even saw someone that looked like Qin Yan near the right hand side of the screen, but with so many people, he couldn¡¯t see clearly. He rose up on his toes, curving his head over, and the guy that resembled Qin Yan was kissing his girlfriend just as he once again looked over.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s face slightly flushed ¡ª it felt like he was peeping. When he dropped his feet back to the ground, he lost his balance and accidentally leaned backwards. A hand supported his lower back; without even turning his head around, he knew it was Song Yu.


    ¡°You¡¯re back?¡±


    Song Yu nodded. There was no water in the convenience store bag in his hand, only a box of cheesecake.


    ¡°I thought you didn¡¯t like eating sweet stuff?¡± Yue Zhishi pulled out the cake, opening it. The fragrance of cream was very rich.


    ¡°I bought it for you.¡± Song Yu said, ¡°It was the only cake without flour. Mom said she¡¯d make and bring over your birthday cake tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°I know.¡± Yue Zhishi picked up the plastic spoon, wanting to take a bite, but Song Yu stopped him.


    On the screen, the male lead sang happy birthday to the female lead. Song Yu asked, ¡°Can we celebrate your birthday a day early?¡±


    This request of his was very unreasonable, and came a bit rashly. No one would carry a small cake worth only a small amount of money, bought from the fridge of a convenience store, and ask the person they liked if they could consider today their birthday. There was no present, and no surprise.


    But it just so happened that Yue Zhishi was someone who would definitely agree.


    ¡°Sure.¡± Standing in the midst of the multitude of people and cold wind, Yue Zhishi smiled very sweetly. On the big screen not too far away, the male lead pulled out a lighter ¡ª he used the tongue of flame as a candle, easing it closely to the female lead and saying, make a wish.


    The screen¡¯s brightness illuminated Yue Zhishi¡¯s face. He asked Song Yu, ¡°Since there¡¯s no candle, are we still making a wish?¡±


    ¡°I do have candles.¡± Song Yu drew out a box of Pejoy biscuits from his pocket. If Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t mention the issue of making a wish, he had decided to not reveal this stupid method of his. He didn¡¯t want to admit that he¡¯d stayed in the store for a further five minutes just to search for a candle replacement.


    He inserted the slender matcha flavoured sticks into the cake, and then he said, ¡°These are candles.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t contradict him, merely closing his eyes as he continued smiling. He then opened his eyes and blew, his acting realistic. Now that the biscuits had completed their jobs as candles, Song Yu took them out. ¡°You can¡¯t eat these.¡±


    ¡°Are they yummy?¡± Yue Zhishi curiously asked.


    ¡°They¡¯re okay.¡± Song Yu didn¡¯t want him to get greedy, even though Yue Zhishi was no longer the child who would cry if he couldn¡¯t eat something.


    Yue Zhishi took a bite of the cake and also fed Song Yu a mouthful. The male and female leads in the movie also finished their simple birthday celebration.


    ¡°Why did you want to celebrate it early?¡± Yue Zhishi asked, his voice muffled.


    Song Yu quietly stood there for a moment, his eyes gazing into the distance. ¡°There will be a lot of people tomorrow. Everyone will be coming to celebrate with you.¡±


    Only then did Yue Zhishi understand. Song Yu wanted to celebrate one of his birthdays with him alone. Even if he was truly very busy with no time to eat and everything was distinctly unprepared and hasty ¡ª he still wanted it.


    ¡°It¡¯s so cold, it¡¯s so cold.¡± Yue Zhishi spoke extremely loudly on purpose. Some people around them twisted their heads over to look at him, and then he pretended to look like he was fooling around; he pulled open Song Yu¡¯s coat and tunnelled in, saying, ¡°Cover me up.¡±


    Song Yu initially felt what he was doing was peculiar, but then he saw the people around them chuckling as they looked at the two of them before they turned back around to continue watching the movie. The sky was now fully dark ¡ª there weren¡¯t too many people who were paying attention to what they were doing.


    Yue Zhishi snuggled his face into his chest, his arms wrapping around his waist underneath the coat. His arms didn¡¯t stay around him for long, and they soon released him.


    ¡°Am I considered nineteen years old now?¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s mouth revealed a hint of laughter. ¡°Sure.¡±


    He lifted a hand, ruffling the hair on Yue Zhishi¡¯s forehead. His eyes were a bit unfocused. ¡°Even now, I still remember how you looked when you were nine years old.¡±


    ¡°Only when I was nine?¡± Yue Zhishi asked, tilting his head.


    ¡°I remember how you looked when you were three, when you were four, when you were five¡­¡± Song Yu thought for a moment. ¡°I think I remember how you looked every year.¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought, perhaps in Song Yu¡¯s eyes, he forever remained a child.


    ¡°Song Yu.¡± Yue Zhishi once again called his name, shifting closer slightly. He opened his mouth amid the noise of voices and movie dialogue ¡ª his voice was very soft, as though he was making a wish.


    ¡°When we were brothers, you were my older brother and I was your little brother. We weren¡¯t equals. I needed you to take care of me, while you didn¡¯t need anything.¡±


    Song Yu silently listened, looking at his eyes.


    ¡°But we¡¯re not like that anymore. I¡¯m your boyfriend, and you are mine. We are now very much equals.¡±


    ¡°I need you. Can you need me too?¡±

 CH 65

    Chapter 65: Happy Birthday


    Song Yu¡¯s reason disappeared for a few seconds before it briefly returned.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes were very bright, and his cheeks and the tip of his nose were flushed from the cold wind. He looked very innocent as he gazed at him with his face upturned. When Song Yu didn¡¯t reply, he once again reached out a hand and held onto Song Yu¡¯s sleeve.


    ¡°Mn.¡± Song Yu nodded.


    The leads in the movie kissed, and waves of whistles and cheers sounded in the outdoor sports ground. Everyone watching the movie was at the height of their youth, and they were all either bashful or excited at the sight.


    Hearing the noise, Yue Zhishi turned his head over to look before he turned back around. His ears slightly reddened.


    Song Yu used to hate places with crowds of people, and he also used to hate it when other people followed along and made an uproar. But now, he unexpectedly felt a scene like this was very glorious; his sole regret was that he was unable to kiss Yue Zhishi here.


    ¡°You have to do what you promised me. You can¡¯t just say you¡¯ll do it.¡± Yue Zhishi was very close to him. As the people around them continued to make a commotion, he rose on his tiptoes and said to Song Yu, ¡°Anything you need me to do for you, I¡¯ll do.¡±


    Song Yu nodded. He knew Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t someone who would say things he didn¡¯t mean, so he couldn¡¯t help but tease, ¡°Anything?¡±


    Yue Zhishi quickly nodded without even thinking, but he still added off one condition in the extremely low limits he held towards Song Yu. ¡°As long as it¡¯s not illegal.¡±


    Song Yu was amused. ¡°You sure do live up to your studies.¡±


    ¡°Do you remember the sticker sheets I gave you when we were kids? You only used one.¡± Yue Zhishi clutched his arm.


    Song Yu asked in return, ¡°I¡¯ve used them before?¡±


    ¡°Yes! I was in your room asking you to play video games with me during the summer of your sixth year of elementary school.¡± Yue Zhishi replied very rapidly, but he didn¡¯t look too happy when he next said, ¡°You used one sheet in order to get me to be quiet for half an hour.¡±


    But Song Yu at that time hadn¡¯t even brought out them for Yue Zhishi to double check. After he said he¡¯d use them, Yue Zhishi had gloomily left his room, silently believing he¡¯d used one.


    He honestly was capable of doing something like that. Song Yu thought about it for a little while, the memory floating into his mind.


    He looked at Yue Zhishi¡¯s face again, and seeing him with his head lowered in dejection, he stroked the top of his hair. ¡°So you remember things like that.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t just remember the good things about you.¡± With his head lowered, Yue Zhishi used a voice only he himself could hear and muttered, ¡°Or else I would be even more hopeless.¡±


    Song Yu stood for a bit, and then he said the later half of the movie wasn¡¯t interesting to watch. He pulled Yue Zhishi¡¯s arm, taking him away from the huge crowds.


    They instinctively walked forward, the unlit campus littered with all different kinds of undisturbed, secret places like a dash cam filled with easter egg videos. They opened one of them at random, sneaking inside, and shared a lingering kiss that belonged only to those in love. And then, under their identities as brothers, they exited and reentered the light of day.


    One kiss was far from enough, but Yue Zhishi had no way of asking for more.


    Yue Zhishi sunk into a slight sense of loss as he restrained his desire to ask for more. But he convinced himself ¡ª this was something he must learn to do in his journey towards growing up.


    As they walked, he asked if Song Yu¡¯s advisor had done something to make Song Yu unhappy, but since Song Yu glossed over an answer, Yue Zhishi stopped asking.


    ¡°The cheesecake was really delicious. We should buy another slice again next time.¡±


    Song Yu said, sure.


    It was 8:30pm, and Song Yu dropped him off at his dorm. Even though he was very reluctant to leave, Yue Zhishi thought about how Song Yu hadn¡¯t had time to eat lunch; he didn¡¯t have the heart to wilfully request for him to spend more time with him.


    He stood in front of his building and waved to Song Yu, a smile hanging on his face. When he entered the dorm building, he stood once again at a window on the stairs and wistfully searched for Song Yu¡¯s receding figure.


    Jiang Yufan was scrolling through a restaurant review app as he entered his dorm room, and he discussed with Yue Zhishi which restaurant they should try tomorrow. Yue Zhishi also received many, many messages from Lin Rong, Shen Mi and other senior brothers and sisters. He replied to each and all of them, but the only thing he could think about was the look on Song Yu¡¯s face as he said, standing on the sports ground, there will be a lot of people tomorrow.


    He didn¡¯t know if something had happened to Song Yu before he¡¯d come and looked for him. Even though Song Yu was very good at masking his emotions, Yue Zhishi was extremely sensitive in his perception of them.


    But Song Yu had come to see him when he wasn¡¯t happy, had come to talk to him and then had requested to celebrate Yue Zhishi¡¯s birthday early with just the two of them ¡ª Yue Zhishi felt like he¡¯d improved already.


    And yet, Yue Zhishi still felt like the degree to which he needed Song Yu was far, far more than the requests Song Yu had asked from him. His possessiveness and the level of intimacy he needed were at levels even he himself found unbearable.


    Qin Yan¡¯s message was very long, and he said he was going to bring his girlfriend along tomorrow to celebrate Yue Zhishi¡¯s birthday and also said he¡¯d already booked a karaoke room. Yue Zhishi said he didn¡¯t need to spend that kind of money, but he didn¡¯t receive a reply instantly.


    As he waited, Yue Zhishi tapped Qin Yan¡¯s profile and saw a Moments update that was uploaded not too long ago. He¡¯d uploaded two photos: one of the Plum Garden sports ground and one of his and his girlfriend¡¯s hands as they interlocked together.


    So it was him.


    Yue Zhishi stared at that photo for a long time, his heart slightly envious. He sometimes really wanted to show off his partner to every one around him, and yet he had no choice but to endure.


    Enduring was the thing he was most unable to do. When he was a child, he¡¯d been unable to endure the pain as he fell sick from his allergies and had uncontrollably cried; he¡¯d also been unable to endure his happiness and pleasure and had wanted to pour out all those feelings completely. And especially how he liked Song Yu ¡ª he hadn¡¯t been able to hide it for even one moment, wanting to tell him about his entire heart.


    But after being together with Song Yu, Yue Zhishi started to learn what it was to endure. It was so that this relationship that went against the rules could last for just a little longer.


    Because he truly liked him very, very much ¡ª and thus Yue Zhishi, who had been successful at anything he did, started to learn what it was to be a coward.


    It was 11pm, and he finished showering, pulling on a woolly beige-coloured outer coat meant to be worn at home.


    The dorm mate across from him was on the phone with his girlfriend, Jiang Yufan was playing games with his girlfriend and the other remaining dorm mate said he was peckish and wanted to go downstairs to get a cup of instant noodles from the vending machine.


    Yue Zhishi went down with him.


    ¡°Both of them are always showing off their relationships in the dorm.¡± His dorm mate elbowed Yue Zhishi. ¡°Why aren¡¯t you dating? So many girls are chasing after you.¡±


    ¡°I have someone I like,¡± Yue Zhishi truthfully said.


    ¡°Ah?¡± It was if his dorm mate was a bit flattered at how Yue Zhishi suddenly opened himself to him. ¡°I didn¡¯t expect you to be able to have a secret crush as well.¡±


    Even though he¡¯d been misunderstood, Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t correct him.


    His dorm mate stood in front of the vending machine, speaking as he decided which one to get. ¡°The person you like must definitely have great looks. They¡¯re probably also quite a good person.¡±


    Yue Zhishi dipped his head. ¡°Very gentle.¡±


    It was unlikely anyone other than Yue Zhishi would agree to that description of Song Yu. Only Yue Zhishi knew: Song Yu, who always looked so unfeeling and cold, carried the gentlest and greatest heart in the world.


    ¡°Gentle people are always really easy to persuade.¡± His dorm mate seemed to be egging him on. ¡°You can give it a try, she might think you¡¯re a really good, handsome person. She¡¯ll have no way of rejecting you so she might just agree to dating you. Wouldn¡¯t that make everyone happy?¡±


    He chose the noodle he wanted, paid and then gave Yue Zhishi another piece of encouragement. ¡°I hear your chances of succeeding double if you confess on your birthday.¡±


    After a burst of sound, his dorm mate took out the noodles lying on the bottom of the machine.


    But because of his words, Yue Zhishi fell into confusion.


    ¡°Are there really people who would agree to dating just because they can¡¯t think of a reason to reject someone?¡± Yue Zhishi asked.


    ¡°Yup.¡± His dorm mate said, ¡°I confessed many times to a girl I liked in high school, and she ended up agreeing to be with me. But I could sense that she didn¡¯t actually really like me all that much, so we broke up after graduating. She was a very gentle person who didn¡¯t like rejecting people, and she felt like she could give us a try.¡±


    ¡°Is that so?¡± Slightly demoralised, Yue Zhishi said, ¡°But that¡¯s true, especially if someone ended up crying when they were confessing. It¡¯ll be even more troublesome.¡±


    His dorm mate said in amusement, ¡°Isn¡¯t that something only girls would do?¡±


    He shook the cup of noodles in his hand and leaned onto the vending machine. He asked Yue Zhishi, ¡°Le Le, do you want something to eat? This pudding¡¯s pretty nice. My treat.¡±


    Yue Zhishi said no need. He didn¡¯t want to eat; his mind was looking for all the pieces of evidence that could prove Song Yu really liked him ¡ª he felt like there were much too many. He shouldn¡¯t be so insecure, worried about how much of Song Yu he actually had.


    He was torn for two seconds, but then Yue Zhishi still ended up asking his dorm mate to buy him a pudding, with the money transferred to him later. His dorm mate kept waving his hand in refusal, and the words that came out of him were actually somewhat romantic. ¡°Just think of it as a final little gift from me to your eighteen years of life.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡± Once he took the pudding, Yue Zhishi sluggishly followed behind him. He walked a few steps, and then turned back.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡± His dorm mate watched as Yue Zhishi headed towards the main doors of the dorm building. He called out, ¡°The doors are about to get locked!¡±


    ¡°I know. I¡¯m not coming back tonight.¡± Yue Zhishi held onto that carton of pudding and ran out without even looking back.


    He didn¡¯t have his phone, and without a GPS, he ran around in the pitch black campus for a very long time. He ended up relying on his intuition, born from so many days of walking back and forth on these roads with Song Yu, and arrived at the part of campus where Song Yu lived.


    He stood in front of Song Yu¡¯s dormitory building, panting for air. After struggling to calm his breathing, Yue Zhishi pulled up his courage and went to the window where the dormitory auntie was. The auntie saw him in his outfit of sleeping clothes, and since he was a wholly unfamiliar face, she asked him why he was here and which building he belonged to.


    Yue Zhishi answered all of her questions, still short of air. He didn¡¯t look too normal, and so the auntie was very suspicious.


    ¡°I¡¯m here to look for Song Yu. He lives in room 418.¡±


    ¡°Why are you looking for him? It¡¯s so late. You guys aren¡¯t from the same school, so you can¡¯t just casually come in and visit.¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± Yue Zhishi thought about saying he was his little brother, but he wasn¡¯t willing to say it ¡ª and so he stood in front of that tiny window, frozen.


    Someone walked behind him, and that person headed slightly closer to him. It was a very delicate looking guy, and he wore a pair of black-framed glasses. He glanced at Yue Zhishi a few times before he decided to come up; he lightly patted his shoulder. ¡°You¡¯re Yue Zhishi, aren¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    He didn¡¯t know this face. Yue Zhishi asked in surprise, ¡°Do you know me?¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡± The guy smiled. ¡°Is there something urgent you need Song Yu for?¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought ¡ª giving a cheap pudding wouldn¡¯t be considered as anything urgent, and he would be ashamed to even say it out loud. He fell silent.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. Did you not bring your phone?¡± That guy gazed at Yue Zhishi and went around him, greeting the auntie inside the window. ¡°Auntie, this is Song Yu¡¯s brother. Can I take him up to look for his older brother?¡±


    Suspicion covered her face, but this guy seemed to get along well with the auntie; he coaxed her into laughing with just a few sentences, and so she relaxed with Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°You should¡¯ve said you were his brother earlier. Why didn¡¯t you say so when I asked?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was still unwilling to speak.


    ¡°You need to come out in a bit, you can¡¯t stay over.¡±


    ¡°We know, auntie. Good night.¡± The guy brought Yue Zhishi to the stairs before introducing himself. ¡°I¡¯m Song Yu¡¯s dorm mate. I¡¯m Chen Fangyuan.¡±


    ¡°Nice to meet you, senior.¡± Yue Zhishi hurriedly greeted him, but he was still a bit curious. ¡°Senior, how did you know who I was? Have you seen me before?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ve seen you and Song Yu eating together at the cafeteria a good few times already. The gossip about Song Yu almost getting into a fight with someone from the law school because of you has spread around our year several times.¡±


    Chen Fangyuan grinned. ¡°But what a wonder ¡ª Song Yu¡¯s such an icy guy, and yet he¡¯s a damned younger brother-con.¡± He then rushed to explain, ¡°I¡¯m just teasing, don¡¯t take it to heart.¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head. He followed Chen Fangyuan to the door of their dorm room, and then he hesitated. ¡°Can I go in?¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡± Chen Fangyuan pushed open the door and then realised there was no one inside. ¡°Eh? Your brother¡¯s not back yet. He must still be in the research lab. Why don¡¯t you sit at his desk and wait a bit.¡±


    This place was still the dorm Yue Zhishi was familiar with ¡ª it felt like he¡¯d hidden here from the rain just yesterday. He gazed at the bed he¡¯d slept together in with Song Yu; it still looked exactly the same.


    Chen Fangyuan headed to the desk across from Song Yu¡¯s bed, taking off his jacket and pulling out his phone. ¡°Let me give your brother a call. Have a seat, the cleanest looking one is his.¡±


    Yue Zhishi very obediently went over. Song Yu¡¯s desk wasn¡¯t too different from before, with all the furnishings pretty much the same. Except there was now an item in a corner, covered by a black velvet cloth, and he couldn¡¯t tell what it was.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t pick up the phone, so Chen Fangyuan turned back around and saw Yue Zhishi touching the black cloth cover on Song Yu¡¯s desk. He immediately called out, ¡°Hey, hey, little brother ¡ª don¡¯t touch that. He might come back and yell at you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi pivoted his face over to him in doubt, and yet he didn¡¯t take back his hand. He looked at how nervous Chen Fangyuan was, but the first thing that came out of his mouth was, ¡°He won¡¯t yell at me.¡±


    With a face full of this little ancestor has no idea what¡¯s coming, Chen Fangyuan rapidly sent a text and then headed over to where Yue Zhishi was sitting. ¡°That¡¯s not necessarily true. Your brother fucking babies this thing and doesn¡¯t let anyone touch it. At first he was worried about dust and water, so he put a glass cover over it. And then when dust kept piling up on the glass, he found the velvet cloth to put over it. Eighty percent chance my future sister-in-law gave it to him.¡±


    He then added, ¡°If they do end up getting together.¡±


    Hearing Chen Fangyuan speak so hotly and emotionally about this decoration, a bit of jealousy grew in Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart. He had never seen Song Yu treasure something so much.


    He reached out a hand again. ¡°I want to see.¡±


    Chen Fangyuan silently wondered about how this child just refused to listen. ¡°Fine, but just be careful. Or else I¡¯d be worried about your brother coming back and saying something to you.¡±


    ¡°He won¡¯t,¡± Yue Zhishi said, a bit of pique in his voice as he took off that cloth covering.


    The next second ¡ª he froze where he was.


    The globe he¡¯d given to Song Yu after labouring for so many summer nights rested under the glass cover.


    Yue Zhishi had almost forgotten this thing existed. He¡¯d thought Song Yu wouldn¡¯t like it at all, had thought it¡¯d long been thrown into some random corner ¡ª it wouldn¡¯t move, would stay still as it faded away and collected dust. It would have been abandoned.


    He knew there was a lag in the knowledge transmitted between him and Song Yu. Song Yu¡¯s feelings were like well-buried clues, puzzle pieces hidden deeply away.


    It had been so hard for Yue Zhishi to find a small piece of the puzzle; and now, the puzzle of feelings Song Yu held for him in his heart could be slightly restored to its original appearance.


    But it was never complete ¡ª which is why he would question it.


    With twenty minutes still remaining until he turned nineteen, Yue Zhishi gained an extremely important clue.


    And with this, he became intensely greedy. The puzzle pieces that came out one by one made him lose all patience; the sole thought of wanting a complete Song Yu pressed into him, so urgent he couldn¡¯t stand it.


    Chen Fangyuan¡¯s phone vibrated, and he immediately answered it.


    ¡°Hey. Yeah, it¡¯s cold downstairs so I told him to come up, I thought you were at the dorm¡­ your brother didn¡¯t bring his phone¡­¡± Chen Fangyuan looked Yue Zhishi up and down as he continued speaking. ¡°¡­it doesn¡¯t look like anything happened to him. I don¡¯t think he¡¯s sick either. Ah, sure¡­¡±


    The door to the room opened, and Yue Zhishi and Chen Fangyuan looked over at the same time. It was Song Yu in a rare panic.


    ¡°Why¡¯d you call if you were already on your way up. What a waste of money.¡± Chen Fangyuan hung up the call.


    Steadying his breathing, Song Yu walked in, his eyes containing only Yue Zhishi. He didn¡¯t even notice the globe on his desk.


    ¡°Are you okay?¡± He quietly asked, ¡°Why didn¡¯t you tell me you were coming over?¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know what he should say. Should he say he really missed him, that he changed his mind and wanted to stay by his side in the last few remaining minutes in order to spend the first moments of his birthday together? Or should he use the shoddy reason he¡¯d hastily thought up, and say he heard a certain pudding was quite tasty ¡ª and had ran over half the campus in the middle of the night to bring to him to eat.


    Or should he admit to the insecurities that had come without cause and needed to be soothed.


    It seemed like Song Yu understood something, and he pulled Yue Zhishi¡¯s wrist and headed outside.


    ¡°Hey,¡± Chen Fangyuan called out to him from the back. ¡°Where are you going?¡± He ran to the door. ¡°Don¡¯t get angry at your brother.¡±


    Song Yu only said, ¡°I¡¯m not coming back tonight, no need to wait up.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was taken downstairs. The auntie had already finished her shift at the entrance, and they left the dorm with no other place to go.


    Seeing the cotton slippers on Yue Zhishi¡¯s feet, Song Yu could only tug him to the grove a few hundred metres behind the dormitory building. There was an empty, open air car park with very little people, and Song Yu was used to leaving his car there.


    Song Yu turned up the aircon after getting in the car, and then he asked Yue Zhishi what happened.


    Yue Zhishi continued to not speak, only gazing at Song Yu. His nose started to burn, but he couldn¡¯t tell if it was from the guilt he felt at misunderstanding him, or if it was from the heart that¡¯d been touched after seeing the globe.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong, Le Le.¡± Song Yu called him by his nickname, and touched his face that¡¯d been chilled by the wind. All of a sudden, Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t hold back anymore ¡ª he embraced Song Yu from his passenger seat, burying his face into the side of his neck.


    ¡°I want to spend my birthday with you.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s body visibly relaxed a bit at this, and he hugged Yue Zhishi back. ¡°You could¡¯ve told me.¡±


    ¡°I was worried after hearing you ran over.¡± He stroked Yue Zhishi¡¯s back.


    ¡°This was very unplanned, I wasn¡¯t thinking of coming out initially,¡± Yue Zhishi explained. He then thought about what his dorm mate had said, and without thinking about it, he poured it all out for Song Yu to hear.


    ¡°He said his ex-girlfriend was also a really good person and agreed to be with him because she couldn¡¯t reject his confessions. And then I thought about you, thought about how particularly sorry I¡¯d looked when I confessed. I was sick too, so you definitely had no way to reject me. But¡­¡±


    He squirmed on Song Yu¡¯s shoulder, his nose somewhat blocked. ¡°But I really do like you, a lot. I didn¡¯t want to leave after kissing you. You said you wanted to celebrate my birthday early with just the two of us ¡ª but in reality, I wanted to give my entire birthday only to you.¡±


    He was slightly agitated, and there was no method or logic to his speech. Song Yu tried sifting through his words and found an important point Yue Zhishi no longer considered important.


    ¡°Do you think I don¡¯t really like you?¡±


    Yue Zhishi rose from his body, shaking his head. ¡°No, I just¡­ Sometimes I don¡¯t know how much you like me. I just feel like you definitely don¡¯t like me as much as I like you. I want you to rely on me a bit more¡­ I don¡¯t know why I think like this either. But I saw the globe just then.¡±


    The look in Song Yu¡¯s eyes changed, and after a few seconds, he asked, ¡°Did that help you believe I actually really do like you?¡±


    Yue Zhishi met his eyes and nodded. ¡°Yes. I understand now.¡±


    Song Yu let out a light laugh, and yet there wasn¡¯t much amusement in his eyes.


    ¡°No, you don¡¯t understand.¡±


    The false birthday cake and candles had only provided happiness in advance ¡ª there was still the final minute remaining before nineteen.


    ¡°I only used the word like in order to adapt to you,¡± Song Yu said.


    ¡°Because the word sounds relatively harmless. It doesn¡¯t sound all that intense, and the word itself doesn¡¯t carry much possessiveness. But I¡¯m actually very unreasonably anxious. Do you know why I don¡¯t remember using the stickers you gave me?¡±


    Yue Zhishi watched him. ¡°Why?¡±


    In the dark, the second hand on the watch ticked, second by second, like the sound of a countdown.


    ¡°Because I¡¯ve kept all of them. I still have every single sheet. I remember very well that there are ten sheets ¡ª I count through them every year when I¡¯m cleaning.¡± Song Yu was clearly smiling, yet his face was very pale.


    ¡°Do you think that¡¯s something a normal older brother would do?¡±


    ¡°The watch you gave me; the four leaf clover you gave me that¡¯s so withered it would disintegrate if it¡¯s touched; the old calendars you¡¯ve used¡­ I still have all of them, hidden away. It¡¯s the same with the globe.¡±


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you ask me before about when I started to like you? To be honest, I really can¡¯t find a specific moment. Maybe when I was thirteen, or maybe when I was six. I can¡¯t tell.¡±


    Three¡ª


    ¡°I only know that I¡¯ve lost countless nights of sleep because of you.¡±


    Two¡ª


    ¡°If I did sleep, I would have many dreams about you, dreams I shouldn¡¯t be having.¡±


    One.


    Song Yu gazed at his eyes, his voice slightly hoarse. ¡°I don¡¯t like you. Yue Zhishi, I love you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi, at nineteen years old, finally received the birthday present he needed: a fully and utterly exposed Song Yu, who gave to him the whole of himself.

 CH 66

    Chapter 66: The Right to Express Love


    There was a very thin layer of fog on the car windows.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes carried tears, but he held back from blinking. After getting together with Song Yu, every day seemed like a dream; sometimes even he himself was so dazed that he thought the person in front of him would disappear as soon as he blinked.


    He¡¯d carefully, tentatively tried to be a considerate partner. He gave Song Yu space, restraining the possessiveness he held towards him ¡ª he thought Song Yu would like him a little bit more, would need him more. He thought, by doing so, Song Yu would no longer take him as a little brother who didn¡¯t understand anything.


    But he¡¯d been mistaken from the very start.


    It was Song Yu who had been truly struggling. He¡¯d started struggling much earlier than him and had struggled much more painfully than him.


    He¡¯d thought he¡¯d feel as sweet and warm as all those romance movies at hearing the person he liked say I love you ¡ª but at this moment, Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart was filled with grief and sorrow. Those feelings weren¡¯t for himself.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­¡± Yue Zhishi reached out, gently covering the back of Song Yu¡¯s hand. He clutched those long, slender fingertips.


    Song Yu flipped his own hand over to hold his. ¡°Why are you saying sorry?¡±


    His fingertips were very cold; Song Yu massaged his fingers.


    ¡°You haven¡¯t done anything wrong.¡±


    Yue Zhishi drew his eyebrows together. Finally, he couldn¡¯t hold back ¡ª he embraced him, throwing his arms around his neck, and pressed his face into the hollow of his shoulder. ¡°I was too slow. If I¡¯d understood I liked you much earlier, you wouldn¡¯t have had to endure so much by yourself.¡±


    Song Yu had been so impassive. Even when he was laying himself bare, he¡¯d been incomparably calm, as though he hadn¡¯t suffered at all. But all the years of pain ¡ª Yue Zhishi could feel them in their entirety and even further.


    Perhaps Song Yu¡¯s heart truly had been given to him. It lived in his body, and it was why Yue Zhishi was so heartbroken at a time like this.


    ¡°Why are you crying.¡± Song Yu could sense Yue Zhishi was crying, and he stroked his back. ¡°Don¡¯t be upset. It¡¯s bad for your body.¡±


    At this, Yue Zhishi was even more distressed.


    ¡°But you¡¯ve been in pain for so long.¡±


    If it had been him who¡¯d realised he liked the older brother who lived under the same roof as him like true blood-related brothers, knowing something like that wasn¡¯t right. The other person might consider him only as a family member, but feelings were uncontrollable; without a single person to confide to, he could only protect the small pieces and things he¡¯d received from the other person, losing sleep night after night.


    If it had been him, he wouldn¡¯t have been able to continue on at all.


    But Song Yu seemed to care only about why Yue Zhishi came to look for him and why he was feeling such a sense of loss. ¡°Did I give you the wrong idea when I said we could give it a try?¡±


    The coral fleece home clothes on Yue Zhishi¡¯s body was very soft and plush. It was fluffy, and as Song Yu hugged him, even his voice gentled.


    ¡°I wanted to let you give us a try and take this time with me as a trial period. You would be the one to decide how long it lasted.¡±


    His face slightly itching because of Song Yu¡¯s cashmere coat, Yue Zhishi rubbed his face against the side of Song Yu¡¯s neck. He lingered against Song Yu¡¯s warm skin and asked, voice muffled, ¡°Then what about you?¡±


    Song Yu stayed silent for a while, and then he said, softly, ¡°It¡¯s already more than enough for me to have this period of time.¡±


    Curving his head onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s, he said, ¡°I never thought I would have a day like this.¡±


    They were like two plants tangled together. The past Yue Zhishi had blindly accepted the nutrients Song Yu transferred to him, ignorant of everything. He grew up without a single worry, but now ¡ª he finally understood where all those nutrients had come from and recognised the accumulated years of suffering living within Song Yu¡¯s body.


    Love was truly too strange.


    Song Yu safeguarded so well a worthless, imprecise globe, and yet he, in describing himself as unreasonably anxious, hadn¡¯t dared to keep the maker of that globe.


    Yue Zhishi wanted to say something to Song Yu very badly, so that he would believe he was the same. But his brain became more chaotic the more anxious he was, and all the things he could think of saying were disjointed and illogical.


    In the end, Song Yu looked at his watch and said it was already very late.


    ¡°I even made you cry on your birthday,¡± he grumbled at himself before giving Yue Zhishi a kiss. ¡°Let¡¯s go back.¡±


    He didn¡¯t use the words let¡¯s go home. Both of them were very clear ¡ª it would be very hard to return back home.


    The inside of the car was impossibly quiet on the drive, and once Yue Zhishi got out of the car in the underground car park, Song Yu pulled up the hood on his jacket for him and took him upstairs.


    The door opened, darkness deep and heavy within the room. Song Yu turned on the lights and the air-conditioning, but the temperature warmed much slower than he imagined. Yue Zhishi slipped off his dirtied cotton slippers, changing into the slippers in the apartment, and went to sit on the sofa by himself, still frowning.


    Song Yu walked over to him, holding a pair of thick and downy cotton socks he grabbed from somewhere. Kneeling down on one knee, he didn¡¯t say a single word and reached out to catch Yue Zhishi¡¯s ankles.


    Yue Zhishi pulled away, but Song Yu held onto him and tugged an ankle forward. His broad palm enveloped Yue Zhishi¡¯s almost frozen heel, and after chafing it for a bit, he pulled a sock over it.


    Neither of them had spoken in the last two minutes. Song Yu helped him put on the socks, stood back up and then he finally, casually opened his mouth.


    ¡°The things I said ¡ª would they make you feel pity for me?¡±


    He didn¡¯t expect his question to accidentally stir up Yue Zhishi¡¯s emotions. Frowning, Yue Zhishi moved his legs away; his voice wasn¡¯t quite steady. ¡°What are you saying?¡±


    Very quickly, Yue Zhishi once again sunk into self-reflection. He suspected he really was an idiot who understood nothing about love: the first thing he¡¯d actually said after hearing Song Yu say he loved him was I¡¯m sorry.


    He was in all honesty blaming himself for Song Yu¡¯s pain, but Song Yu ¡ª how would he interpret that single I¡¯m sorry?


    His thoughts having reached this point, he did his best to calm himself down, to smoothen out his breathing.


    ¡°Not pity.¡± Yue Zhishi raised his head, looking at Song Yu. He used the back of his hand to scrub his eyes; the rims of his eyes were very red, and even his eyelashes were damp. ¡°I said I was sorry because I was too upset. It wasn¡¯t because I didn¡¯t accept your feelings. They were what I wanted the most. You don¡¯t know how much I wanted to know if you liked me.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t keep thinking that I can¡¯t tell the difference between familial affection and love. I might¡¯ve been sick when I confessed ¡ª I honestly wasn¡¯t clear-headed, so I definitely appeared really impulsive ¡ª but I struggled over those words for a very long time before I wanted to say them out loud. They existed since a long time ago, and I only said them because I couldn¡¯t handle it anymore.¡±


    Yue Zhishi frowned again before relaxing his eyebrows. He stretched out a hand, curling it around Song Yu¡¯s dropped hand, and gripped his fingers. ¡°You said I would be the one to decide how long this lasted. You left me with space to step back, but have you ever thought about this.¡±


    ¡°Song Yu.¡± Yue Zhishi lowered his eyes, the gathered tears gently wobbling. ¡°It was you who let me feel the love I had never been able to feel from other people. It was you who gave me the feelings I never received from anyone else. From our childhood to now ¡ª the last ten-plus years ¡ª my eyes have seen only you. I only wish to spend every minute, every second with you, and that has never changed. We¡¯ve already reached this point, and yet you still expect me to like someone else?¡±


    Lifting his eyes, he squeezed Song Yu¡¯s hand. No matter how stubborn he was, his reddened eyes couldn¡¯t hold onto that teardrop after all, and it tumbled down. ¡°From the time you accepted me to your side, I had no other option. It was you who made me unable to love anyone else ¡ª so how could you leave me with ways to retreat?¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice had never been so resolute. ¡°I have no way out. I have only you.¡±


    Song Yu fell into a prolonged period of silence, and then he went to sit next to him.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s tears were rolling down drop by drop, and he subconsciously reached out a hand to wipe them away, again and again. He was like a robot, only able to execute simple commands.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want only a period of time. It¡¯s not enough.¡±


    Underneath the lights of the living room, Yue Zhishi was so pale the slightly swollen green and blue veins on his eyelids were clearly visible. He looked extremely fragile, as though he would shatter with just one touch. His eyelashes were long yet soft, and even the skin on his cheeks was very soft. He wore very comfortable coral fleece clothes. But the look on his face, his voice ¡ª they held the unyielding stubbornness that lived in his bones.


    ¡°I want all of you for a very, very long time.¡±


    Lifting a hand, Song Yu touched his cheek. Yue Zhishi caught it.


    ¡°You said it¡¯s harmless to like someone. Maybe to you, my feelings are a simple like; even I didn¡¯t define what they were. But I really struggled with them ¡ª the possessiveness I feel towards you has already gone beyond what I can handle. That¡¯s why I ran out in the middle of the night in my pyjamas to look for you. That¡¯s why I was filled with self doubt once I heard some insignificant stuff.¡±


    He pulled out from his pocket the pudding he¡¯d still yet to give away. ¡°I even found a ridiculously hasty excuse that I can never say out loud to other people just so I could see you earlier. At eighteen, you said I was still a child. But at nineteen¡ª¡±


    Throughout the nights Song Yu had lost sleep because of these feelings, Yue Zhishi had continuously done all he could to smooth away the gaps and lags in their timelines, in the knowledge transmitted to each other ¡ª all of the staggered, unmatched differences he could think of.


    ¡°¡ªdo I have the right to say I love you?¡±


    Seeing how Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes reddened and eyelashes trembled at asking a question like that, the last string holding Song Yu back finally snapped.


    He didn¡¯t give an answer, only directly pressing Yue Zhishi onto the sofa and fitting their lips together. His glasses were wedged in between their faces, and there was a noise that sounded like metal breaking. After adjusting it a few times, Song Yu tore off the glasses and carelessly threw it onto the floor.


    The leather on the sofa was very cold. With Song Yu holding down his wrists, Yue Zhishi had no way to move ¡ª but Song Yu¡¯s breaths were hot, and so were his lips and tongue. The weight of the person he loved bore down on him, as though he¡¯d fallen into the lake; the familiar scent of Song Yu¡¯s body wrapped around him, and Yue Zhishi gradually lost control amongst the ferocity and suffocation he¡¯d never experienced before. He liked the Song Yu who was gentle, and he also liked the Song Yu who completely revealed himself without concealing or holding any of himself back.


    Song Yu kissed him very forcefully, entering him in a determined way. He no longer cautiously thought about Yue Zhishi¡¯s breathing; he plundered his way into a moist and velvety territory, as though he was trying to leave behind a mark ¡ª so that Yue Zhishi would always remember how much he wanted him.


    The feeling of suffocation made Yue Zhishi feel as though he was walking on a suspension bridge. He tightly clutched onto Song Yu¡¯s arms, eyes closed, as his breathing through his nose became all the more intense. The zipper on the outer layer of his pyjamas slipped downwards from the friction, and only the bottom pin box remained connected; a soft cotton short-sleeved shirt peeked out from within. He tried returning the kiss, awkwardly and stubbornly entwining with Song Yu, and yet he plunged into another whirlpool as he did so ¡ª sinking deeper and deeper, as his hunger for Song Yu became all the more consuming.


    Time slowed down, and just as he was on the verge of losing all of his air, Song Yu shifted away, breaking through the thread of desire. Yue Zhishi lay limply on the sofa, the corners of his mouth slightly wet. His lips were flushed from the fierce kiss.


    His head was pillowed on the sofa¡¯s armrest, and he pulled in large mouthfuls of air. His heart was racing, his whole body covered with sweat; his breaths were thin, and his chest rose and fell very rapidly. All of this felt almost exactly the same as though he was hyperventilating ¡ª except he was both frightened and ravenous.


    As Song Yu lightly, soothingly kissed the edge of his lips, Yue Zhishi moved in relying solely on his instincts. He intimately rubbed the tips of their noses together, panting as he pressed kisses against Song Yu¡¯s cheeks, Song Yu¡¯s lips. He called out either Song Yu¡¯s name or called him gege; the sound of his voice blended indistinctly into the wet, sucking noises and his sharp breathing. His voice came in fragments, again and again, tainted with lust as they moved against each other.


    He was like a puppy raised with indulgence, subconsciously equating Song Yu¡¯s intimate actions with darkness through training. In dark spaces with no one else around them, Song Yu would embrace him, kiss him ¡ª which is why he always stepped inside, filled with expectation, and was unwilling to leave.


    If it was possible, he wished Song Yu¡¯s kisses would never stop.


    Dazed, Song Yu saw a very small drop of blood well up from Yue Zhishi¡¯s slightly swollen lips. He calmed down, and he held Yue Zhishi¡¯s face, using the pad of a finger to delicately wipe it away. He said very gently, ¡°Sorry,¡± and backed away, giving him some space to breathe. ¡°Did I scare you.¡±


    But Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t accept his good intentions. Instead, he climbed onto Song Yu¡¯s body and twined his arms around his neck. Shaking his head, he said, ¡°No,¡± and pleaded, ¡°It¡¯s my birthday today, you can¡¯t leave.¡± His whole body eased onto Song Yu¡¯s, and he took the initiative to merge their lips together. He actively kissed without much skill, like a child begging for candy.


    Innocently asking for more, simply expressing his love and demanding passionate kisses despite clearly knowing it¡¯d be hard for him to breathe ¡ª that was Yue Zhishi. Other than Song Yu, there would be no one else who would be able to see him like this.


    Song Yu pushed his shoulders, moving him slightly away. His hand tenderly cupped his cheek as his thumb swiped back and forth against the corner of his mouth.


    ¡°Will you feel as though I¡¯m influencing you?¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s jacket was already completely off; only the sleeves still remained on him. He grasped Song Yu¡¯s arms, fighting to steady his breathing. His red lips glistened with moisture, and even his face was red as he gazed at Song Yu with damp yet sincere eyes. Faintly opening his mouth, he sucked Song Yu¡¯s thumb in, and the tip of his tongue subtly brushed against it.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t it me who¡¯s seducing you?¡±


    His movements were tempting and alluring, and yet his eyes were clean and pure. It was as though they were hinting at Song Yu, telling him: you are innocent, and I am the one who is guilty. Just like Yue Zhishi had done countless times, they were telling him: you can do to me whatever you want to do.


    This actually increased Song Yu¡¯s guilt.


    But when guilt was mixed with the initial layer of desire, it became an almost incurable hallucinogen. It shot right into his veins, and his reason utterly disappeared. Still fully dressed, he peeled off Yue Zhishi¡¯s jacket and kissed down the line of his neck, leaving behind traces on his pale, bare skin.


    Yue Zhishi was covered by a layer of thin sweat, and the short-sleeved shirt stuck to his body. He quivered when Song Yu kissed his still covered nipples; he tilted backwards, clinging to Song Yu¡¯s head, and his waist, arched forward, was firmly squeezed. A kind of impatient eagerness circulated in his blood, and it seized hold of his entire body ¡ª he lost strength and wanted to slide backwards, but Song Yu clasped onto his lower back and pulled him back in until he toppled onto Song Yu¡¯s body.


    ¡°Does it feel bad?¡± Song Yu hadn¡¯t even finished speaking when Yue Zhishi started kissing him again.


    His hands shoved off Song Yu¡¯s outer coat in a hurry, revealing the black knit inside. He trailed kisses to the side of Song Yu¡¯s face and gasped next to his ear, ¡°Hot¡­¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s hands slipped into his clothes and came into contact with his feverish skin. Cold fingertips somewhat relieved the heat in Yue Zhishi¡¯s body, but it made no real difference. Sitting on Song Yu¡¯s body, Yue Zhishi lightly rubbed back and forth; he took Song Yu¡¯s hand and led it downwards until fingertips went past the edge of his pyjama pants.


    ¡°Have you done it yourself before?¡± Reaching in, Song Yu gripped onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s already erect cock.


    Yue Zhishi lay on his body, very quietly saying he had.


    ¡°When?¡±


    ¡°After getting together with you. I really missed you.¡± Yue Zhishi fidgeted against the side of Song Yu¡¯s neck, looking as though he was a bit shy and embarrassed. He stressed, ¡°Only once.¡±


    Thinking he was cute, Song Yu couldn¡¯t help but tease, ¡°You like me so much, and yet you¡¯ve only done it once?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was somewhat peeved, lifting his body up and wanting to say something, but Song Yu blocked his mouth and also tightly squeezed below. The slippery fluid oozing from the tip contaminated what Yue Zhishi had once considered the best-looking pair of hands; thumb and fingers circled around him, and the hand pushed and pulled, gliding up and down.


    When he touched himself, the only things he imagined were Song Yu¡¯s face and his kisses ¡ª Yue Zhishi very rarely imagined Song Yu doing other things, so even his sexual fantasies contained only kisses. He only understood how empty his fantasies were now that he obtained Song Yu in his entirety.


    He sporadically shared kisses with Song Yu, seeking air from time to time. He subconsciously rocked his hips with Song Yu¡¯s movements, and his butt, still bundled in his pants, ground against Song Yu¡¯s lower body. He could feel something nudging against himself, and that knowledge made him feel both ashamed and satisfied.


    ¡°I can¡¯t¡­ Gege¡­¡±


    Whenever he begged for mercy, Yue Zhishi¡¯s first impulse was still to call him gege. It was as though he was doing something he shouldn¡¯t be doing, and he shook as he pleaded for him to spare him, soft whimpers and moans interspersed among his pants.


    He squirmed in Song Yu¡¯s arms, and Song Yu could only endure. He tenderly kissed Yue Zhishi¡¯s cheek and said, ¡°Be good and relax. You¡¯ll feel much better after you come.¡±


    On the verge of losing control, Yue Zhishi received some comfort after asking for a kiss. Their teeth touched, tongues coiled together, and the low and hazy moan changed pitch in the middle of their kiss. Yue Zhishi shot onto Song Yu¡¯s lower belly, his cum dirtying Song Yu¡¯s clean black knit.


    Yue Zhishi hid in Song Yu¡¯s chest as he heavily breathed, his body completely weak. Lowering his head, he saw the mess; he used a hand to scrub it away, but it wouldn¡¯t disappear.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± Yue Zhishi whispered. ¡°I dirtied your clothes.¡±


    Song Yu felt his attention was always caught on strange things. He brushed his lips against Yue Zhishi¡¯s ear. ¡°You can dirty it even more.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s face flushed, but he was a child who was eager to learn. That hand smeared with cum once again shifted downwards, undoing Song Yu¡¯s belt, and tentatively pulled down the border of his underwear. The astoundingly sized cock popped out and pressed against Yue Zhishi¡¯s skinny lower belly.


    ¡°So big.¡± Yue Zhishi looked at his cock, and the desire to compare rose in his heart. Song Yu¡¯s cock was somewhat darker than his, much longer and also curved upwards. But Yue Zhishi very swiftly found a good excuse for himself. ¡°You¡¯re much taller than me to begin with anyway.¡±


    Song Yu still wanted to kiss him, but Yue Zhishi clambered down his body and unexpectedly knelt onto the rug. Pulling open Song Yu¡¯s legs, he slid in. He raised his face, a smile that was the tiniest bit sly hanging on his face, and he declared to Song Yu, ¡°I want to do this. Can I?¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t need to.¡± Song Yu wanted to tug him back up.


    ¡°But I want to try.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand was holding the bottom of his cock, and his lips skimmed against the tip; when his lips moved away, a strand of translucent fluid came away with them, sticking onto his lips.


    ¡°Where¡¯d you learn this?¡±


    Yue Zhishi answered earnestly, ¡°I saw this on a pornographic ad. That time after graduating third year of junior high ¡ª the video I watched was actually a man with another man.¡±


    He opened his mouth and drew in Song Yu¡¯s cock. It was actually much harder than he¡¯d imagined: he essentially could only fit the top half into his mouth, but Song Yu¡¯s breathing had already changed.


    Yue Zhishi sucked the best he could, knowing very well he was inexperienced. He still wanted to please Song Yu, hoping he could get a bit of praise after, but it was truly too difficult. He originally hadn¡¯t been able to swallow the whole of it, and yet Yue Zhishi could feel Song Yu¡¯s cock swelling in his mouth.


    He pulled away slightly, took a few breaths and stretched out his tongue, licking up and down. There was no skill in his movements at all, possibly even very clumsy, but just the act alone messed up Song Yu¡¯s long controlled breathing. The person he¡¯d gone to such lengths to protect ¡ª the little brother he watched grow up ¡ª was at this very moment kneeling in front of him and pleasing him.


    Immoral desire was pleasure¡¯s most effective catalyst.


    When Yue Zhishi leaned forward again, Song Yu couldn¡¯t hold back his hands from clenching onto the back of Yue Zhishi¡¯s head. He could feel part of himself pressing down on the base of Yue Zhishi¡¯s tongue, and it was even deeper inside than when they kissed. He suddenly had a somewhat abnormal thought: he wanted to heavily thrust into that moist and soft mouth and then shoot inside; he wanted to see him choke and forcefully swallow everything down, coughing until his face turned red. And then he still needed to kiss him.


    But that could only remain as thoughts. Song Yu wouldn¡¯t risk Yue Zhishi and make him do something like that. He endured, pushing deeply into Yue Zhishi¡¯s throat before withdrawing back again slightly. His cock coupled slowly with the inside of Yue Zhishi¡¯s mouth and his lips, and he took Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand, teaching him how to wrap around his shaft and pleasure him.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s mouth was very sore, and a lot of spit trickled down from his mouth. He still licked and sucked seriously, and after an unknown amount of time, Song Yu abruptly hauled himself out and rubbed the front of his cock against Yue Zhishi¡¯s lips. With rapid, short breaths, he came onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s face.


    Yue Zhishi helplessly closed his eyes as fluid splattered all over his face. He opened his eyes again, just marginally, and subconsciously wiped his face with the back of his hand. He looked at the cum on his hand with a bit of bemusement ¡ª and then he licked it.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡± Steadying his breathing, Song Yu pulled Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand away.


    ¡°I wanted to see what you taste like,¡± Yue Zhishi very honestly replied. He even lowered his head and gave Song Yu¡¯s cock a kiss.


    ¡°Was it yummy?¡± Song Yu leaned back against the sofa, so hot he pulled off his shirt with one hand. Stretching out a hand, he tugged Yue Zhishi onto his body.


    Yue Zhishi circled his arms around Song Yu¡¯s waist, and he shared a suggestive kiss with Song Yu, murmuring yes it was in reply, murmuring I feel so good and I really like you.


    Song Yu¡¯s ears burned as he listened, and he pinched Yue Zhishi¡¯s lower waist, plugging up his mouth with his own. With Yue Zhishi straddling him, he lifted him up, carrying him into the bathroom. What they¡¯ve done was far from enough for Song Yu, but he wanted to properly treasure Yue Zhishi; he didn¡¯t want to continue further in a rush without a single shred of preparation and give him an unsatisfactory experience.


    They cleaned up swiftly, and Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want to leave the warmth of the bathroom. Song Yu couldn¡¯t get him to move, so he could only transport him horizontally into the bedroom and cover him well with the blanket. He cuddled him from the back, forcefully compelling him to sleep before 2:30.


    ¡°Kiss for just one more minute.¡± Yue Zhishi flipped over, pecking at Song Yu¡¯s face. ¡°Please?¡±


    Song Yu was wholly unsympathetic, his eyes still closed, so Yue Zhishi could only cutely whine, ¡°It¡¯s my birthday today, and you still haven¡¯t even said happy birthday to me yet. And now you¡¯re¡­¡±


    ¡°Happy birthday,¡± Song Yu said very briskly and then gave Yue Zhishi a quick smooch.


    ¡°That was too half-hearted.¡± Hooking his hands around Song Yu¡¯s neck, Yue Zhishi gave him a lingering kiss. ¡°I like kisses like this.¡± But he didn¡¯t get his way at all ¡ª Song Yu speedily pushed him away.


    ¡°If you still want to go to your birthday lunch tomorrow, you better sleep now.¡± Song Yu stared at him, and his voice started to sound a bit threatening. ¡°I can make it so you can¡¯t get out of bed at all.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart frantically jumped, and his cheeks blushed. He muttered, ¡°Understood, sleeping now sleeping now.¡±


    The bedside lamp switched off, and the room sunk into a layer of soft darkness. After a few minutes of quiet, Yue Zhishi, hidden in Song Yu¡¯s arms, couldn¡¯t help but whisper, ¡°Are you asleep?¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡±


    Yue Zhishi shifted a bit higher. ¡°Can you say what you said to me in the car again.¡±


    ¡°What did I say?¡± His voice deep, Song Yu asked him on purpose. ¡°¡®I don¡¯t like you¡¯?¡±


    Yue Zhishi bit his neck. ¡°Not that. The sentence after.¡±


    Even though he¡¯d been bitten, Song Yu seemed to be in a good mood. He stroked Yue Zhishi¡¯s back, and a calm and gentle amusement laced through his voice. He used a more peaceful way to tell him, ¡°I love you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi held onto him in contentment. He didn¡¯t want to say sorry this time. The first day of being nineteen, he too obtained the right to express his love to the person he loved. ¡°I love you too.¡±


    Feeling as though it wasn¡¯t enough, he repeated it once again.


    ¡°I love you, Song Yu.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    They finally understand each other¡¯s heart~

 CH 67

    Chapter 67: Overtones


    Yue Zhishi recovered a bit of consciousness from his heavy slumber when his alarm rang for the second time. Keeping his eyes closed, he stretched out an arm and aimlessly groped around for a long while before he finally found his phone; he poked at the screen multiple times before the alarm turned off.


    He wasn¡¯t fully conscious yet. He squinted, wanting to see what time it was, and numbly pressed on the power button on the side. It was 9:03am. He¡¯d initially prepared to go back to sleep, but abruptly, he realised the home screen was foreign to him ¡ª he only then realised it was Song Yu¡¯s phone.


    Their phones were the same model and the same colour, and even their cases were the same. Yue Zhishi had bought his phone copying Song Yu.


    Only his home screen was of an anime character he liked, while the phone in his hand showed a photo. It was the sun setting across the edges of Lingbo Gate, resplendent shards of gold scattered amongst the gleaming shimmers of the lake.


    He clearly was barely awake, and yet just that one photo scraped against the soft spot in Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart. It wasn¡¯t the lake he saw, nor the sunset ¡ª but rather Song Yu, as he sat on the bench by the side of the lake, alone.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t dare think about what kind of mood he had been in as he took the photo.


    Only one thin, pure white curtain was drawn in the room, and the autumn sunlight shone through, filling up the entire space. Yue Zhishi put down the phone and snuggled back under his blanket; Song Yu was lying on his side next to him. His sleeping face was very still, but it was somewhat gentler compared to how he usually looked. Yue Zhishi moved in until they were very close together, and he quietly focused on this face he¡¯d looked up at since he was a child.


    He¡¯d never thought Song Yu would like him. That option had long been eliminated from his mind through both the ethical rules and common values of being a little brother. But the strange thing was, Yue Zhishi also hadn¡¯t thought Song Yu would end up liking someone else. Born with a cold yet handsome face, he was self-disciplined, outstanding and reserved ¡ª it was expected for others to chase after him, but he would definitely never stop and wait for someone else.


    And yet that person had waited for him for so many years.


    Despite saying just stay where you are and wait for me, he¡¯d hesitated and not dared to move forward, turning into the actual person who¡¯d stood still and waited.


    Yue Zhishi half rose, not wanting to wake him up. He very lightly leaned over and kissed Song Yu¡¯s lips; his original plan was to give a brief morning kiss, but because he was reluctant to leave, he stayed for a few more seconds and ended up losing control.


    He didn¡¯t know when Song Yu¡¯s arm had wrapped around his back. It held down his lower waist and immediately flipped him over, pressing him into the soft mattress as Song Yu deepened their kiss.


    Song Yu¡¯s other hand caught one of Yue Zhishi¡¯s wrists and pinned it next to his pillow. As Yue Zhishi closed his eyes, Song Yu slid his fingers through the gaps between Yue Zhishi¡¯s fingers, interlacing them together a bit forcefully.


    Yue Zhishi called out gege from time to time in the midst of their kiss. His voice was soft and breathy, and his free hand rested on Song Yu¡¯s back, fingers gripping his cotton pyjamas. He really enjoyed the feeling of Song Yu pressing him down with his entire bodyweight; he felt highly secure, so tightly surrounded by him that no one would be able to split them apart.


    Stopping while he still could, Song Yu retreated just as the kiss deepened to a certain point.


    Yue Zhishi was breathless. ¡°When did you wake up? I didn¡¯t even realise¡­¡±


    Song Yu gave the side of his neck an extremely soft kiss. His voice still slightly scratchy, he said, ¡°When the alarm rang.¡±


    ¡°You know how to fake sleep too well.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice carried a touch of complaint, like a child grumbling about being fooled. He pulled his neck away and pushed at Song Yu¡¯s chest. ¡°Were you waiting for me to steal a kiss from you? Do you feel particularly pleased with yourself?¡±


    After propping himself up, Song Yu caught Yue Zhishi¡¯s face in between his thumb and forefinger, squeezing those cheeks until Yue Zhishi¡¯s lips poked out. He gave him a smooch, truthfully saying, ¡°I wasn¡¯t waiting. I didn¡¯t think you¡¯d do something like that.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart once again melted into a puddle, and when Song Yu let go of him, he hugged Song Yu¡¯s arm, saying he wasn¡¯t allowed to think like that in the future and asking if he slept well last night.


    ¡°Yes.¡± Song Yu adjusted the slightly curly hair on Yue Zhishi¡¯s forehead. ¡°I fell asleep really quickly while holding you.¡±


    On his first day of being nineteen years old, Yue Zhishi was very satisfied at Song Yu having had a solid night of sleep. It was as though it was foreshadowing that both he and Song Yu would have great fortune in the upcoming year.


    But in his heart, he rapidly shoved away that thought. He reorganised his thoughts, and thought it was fine if he wasn¡¯t lucky ¡ª as long as all his luck was given to Song Yu.


    Yue Zhishi pretty much never lingered in bed unless he was with Song Yu. His habit of always being early was also learned from Song Yu, but whenever they slept together in the same bed, Yue Zhishi especially liked to laze about and idle away some time.


    Except he¡¯d promised to have lunch together with everyone ¡ª as the birthday boy, there was no way he could be late.


    After cleaning up, Yue Zhishi took off his shirt and suddenly remembered he¡¯d left his dorm in a fluffy pair of pyjamas. He couldn¡¯t wear it out in public, and so he stood at the side of the bed in a daze. Song Yu saw red spots dotted across his upper body, spreading from his neck to his belly. He¡¯d clearly already held back his strength, and yet he still left behind marks.


    He shifted his eyes away and pulled out a black button-down shirt and a pair of long pants, giving them to Yue Zhishi.


    Yue Zhishi had a narrow waist, and Song Yu guessed his pants wouldn¡¯t fit. He went downstairs to grab the belt they¡¯d undone and had chucked on the floor.


    The living room was more disordered than he¡¯d thought. Clothes were messily scattered everywhere, and his glasses were also left on the rug. If it had been a normal day, Song Yu would¡¯ve never been able to tolerate something like this at all.


    Picking up his glasses, he placed it on top of the cabinet and started to clean up their clothes. For some reason, he subconsciously cleared his throat when he saw the smears left on his black knit, and then he threw all of the clothes together into the washing machine.


    He went back upstairs with his belt, and he heard Yue Zhishi quietly humming as he arrived at the door of their room. His two hands were shaking out that large blanket, and he bent over, earnestly straightening out the bed. He was only wearing the black shirt Song Yu gave him earlier, his pair of slender, straight and long legs openly exposed. He was barefoot.


    Song Yu knocked on the door, and only then did Yue Zhishi sharply turn his head around, immediately breaking into a smile when he saw him.


    ¡°Why aren¡¯t you wearing pants?¡± Song Yu pulled his eyes away from his legs and focused on Yue Zhishi¡¯s face.


    ¡°I was waiting for your belt, or else they¡¯d just fall down.¡± Finishing with the bed, Yue Zhishi swept out a hand towards him, as though he was a little child in kindergarten waiting for his teacher to praise him for folding his blanket after his afternoon nap. ¡°Look.¡±


    Song Yu threw the belt onto the bed, strictly ordering him to put on his clothes. He paused for a moment, and then he asked, ¡°Do you dress like this in your dorm too?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was sitting on the bed, pulling on his pants. ¡°How could I? The dorm¡¯s so cold.¡±


    Was that the point?


    Somewhat helplessly, Song Yu went towards his closet and found a cream-coloured woollen sweater Yue Zhishi could wear. He repeated, ¡°You can¡¯t dress like that outside.¡±


    ¡°I knowww,¡± Yue Zhishi said, dragging out the last syllable. He fastened the belt and promised, ¡°I definitely won¡¯t catch a cold or a fever again.¡±


    As he listened to Yue Zhishi¡¯s entirely oblivious words, Song Yu started to wonder if the person in front of him was the same Yue Zhishi who¡¯d lured him into doing wrong things last night.


    ¡°But my throat¡¯s a bit sore this morning. I keep wanting to cough.¡± Yue Zhishi leaned his head over, rubbing his Adam¡¯s apple. He softly mumbled, ¡°Don¡¯t know why.¡±


    Song Yu cleared his throat self-consciously as he remembered something completely unsuitable for the current moment.


    ¡°Drink more water,¡± he said, his words completely useless.


    ¡°These gold cuff buttons are so pretty.¡± Yue Zhishi raised his hands and looked at his cuffs. He lowered them, looking at himself in the mirror, and said, ¡°I¡¯ve been so busy since school started. It¡¯s been a long time since I cut my hair ¡ª it¡¯s so long now.¡±


    Song Yu gazed at Yue Zhishi¡¯s reflection in the mirror. The wavy brown hair on his forehead was long enough to cover his cheekbones, and he¡¯d pushed half of it behind his right ear. The hair at his neck had also grown out, partly hiding the mole on his nape. With his head half-lowered, Yue Zhishi was buttoning up that loose, comfortable sweater on his body with his pale and slender fingers. His eyelashes cast shadows under his eyes, and the shirt collar was half-open, revealing a faint red mark on his collarbone.


    Compared to how youthful and spirited he used to look, Yue Zhishi, now wearing Song Yu¡¯s clothes, seemed to have an extra air around him ¡ª it was subtle and languid, created from the aftermath of satisfying desire.


    He walked over and secured the buttons on Yue Zhishi¡¯s black shirt all the way up to the very top.


    ¡°It¡¯s hard to breathe like this.¡± Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want to cooperate.


    ¡°You might start coughing if your throat gets cold,¡± Song Yu said, having found a more reasonable excuse for his desire to monopolise Yue Zhishi.


    They were meant to all meet up at 12pm, with Jiang Yufan having booked the restaurant. Serving Hunan-style food, it was a restaurant Yue Zhishi very much enjoyed, and Jiang Yufan had sent Song Yu a message earlier in the morning, even saying Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t returned to their dorm all night.


    Song Yu replied saying he knew, and drove over with Yue Zhishi.


    When they arrived below the restaurant, Yue Zhishi detached his seatbelt and was about to hurry out ¡ª but Song Yu didn¡¯t undo the locks in the door. ¡°Wait a minute.¡±


    He opened a storage container next to his hands and pulled out a very exquisite, midnight blue gift box covered in velvet. He offered it to Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°What¡¯s this?¡± Yue Zhishi took it, eyes gazing at Song Yu.


    ¡°Birthday present,¡± Song Yu simply replied.


    Opening it, Yue Zhishi saw an elegant mechanical watch. It was covered with sapphire glass, and radial waves unfurled across the watch face like water on a lake, a faint, cool blue sheen reflecting under the the sunlight. The indices, hour and minute hands were a silvery white, and the long and slim second hand was a beautiful sea blue.


    ¡°It¡¯s gorgeous.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes were glowing. He held up the watch, flipping it over, and realised he knew this brand. He tugged over Song Yu¡¯s hand. ¡°Is this the same brand as the watch I bought for you?¡±


    But the watch Song Yu gave him was clearly much more expensive.


    ¡°Mn.¡± Taking the watch, Song Yu helped Yue Zhishi put it on; the size of the watch face he¡¯d chosen was just right for Yue Zhishi¡¯s wrist. He looked over it and nodded, as though he was satisfied with the result of what he¡¯d spent many days choosing. ¡°It really suits you.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m now a guy who owns a watch too!¡± Yue Zhishi held his wrist a bit further away and then looked towards Song Yu. ¡°Was this really expensive?¡±


    ¡°It was okay.¡± Song Yu asked him if he liked it, and Yue Zhishi excitedly nodded, saying, ¡°Of course.¡± In reality, even if Song Yu had given him a printed birthday card, he still would¡¯ve happily displayed it on his desk to look at every day.


    ¡°This definitely costs more than the one I gave you.¡± Yue Zhishi pursed his lips. ¡°Wait until I start earning some money and then I¡¯ll buy you a better one, okay?¡±


    ¡°No need.¡±


    As though he was afraid Song Yu thought he wouldn¡¯t be able to afford it, Yue Zhishi immediately said, ¡°I¡¯m going to be a lawyer in the future, I¡¯ll definitely be able to earn lots of money.¡±


    ¡°I know, little lawyer.¡± The corners of Song Yu¡¯s mouth lightly curled up. Lowering his eyes, he looked at the watch he¡¯d worn for so many years as it sat on his wrist. ¡°But this one is already very good.¡±


    Yue Zhishi drew his wrist over. The watch he¡¯d gifted still looked like new; there were almost no signs of wear as a faint porcelain glow diffused from the black watch face. After nine years, he too received a watch from Song Yu from the same brand ¡ª it was like serious, yet long in coming, answer.


    ¡°Does this count as a couple watch?¡± He beamed, gazing at Song Yu.


    ¡°Yes.¡± Song Yu stroked his cheek and brought him in.


    Only very close friends were invited to this birthday lunch, and most of them were also from Wuhan U. Yue Zhishi still needed to go home for dinner later that night. He and Song Yu entered the booked room one after another, and they saw Qin Yan, Jiang Yufan and their girlfriends already sitting inside.


    Seeing Yue Zhishi, Jiang Yufan said, ¡°Le Le, you¡¯re finally here. Shen Mi and senior Nan Jia just left to buy milk tea. Xiao Cheng said he can¡¯t come, his mom¡¯s sick so he had to rush back to take care of her.¡±


    Xiao Cheng was the dorm mate Yue Zhishi had gone to buy instant noodles with. Yue Zhishi nodded and asked about their other dorm mate. ¡°What about brother Yang?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s been called by his instructor to get some work done. Probably won¡¯t be able to come.¡±


    Qin Yan sighed. ¡°Instructors all love ordering about you new students who still listen to them. It¡¯s fine, it¡¯ll get better once you get past this year.¡± He looked at Song Yu. ¡°Did you two come together? Your little brother asked you to pick him up?¡±


    ¡°Mn,¡± Song Yu vaguely replied, walking over to sit on Qin Yan¡¯s right hand side. Yue Zhishi also followed, sitting close to him, and after they¡¯d finished ordering dishes, Shen Mi and Nan Jia came back with milk tea. The restaurant room instantly came alive.


    Nan Jia was sitting next to Yue Zhishi. ¡°Here, the green milk tea you like. Half sugar.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, senior.¡± Yue Zhishi took it from her, poking through the top with a straw, and drank a large mouthful. Qin Yan¡¯s hand accidentally slipped as he was poking through his own straw, and his drink spilled over the table, dripping a bit onto Song Yu¡¯s pants.


    ¡°Aiyah, sorry sorry, my fault, let me kneel in apology.¡± Thinking Song Yu might explode with his obsession with cleanliness, Qin Yan kept madly apologising. But surprisingly, Song Yu seemed to be in a good mood, and he only stood up, walking away after he said he was going to clean himself up.


    ¡°Oh, right, Le Le.¡± Jiang Yufan lifted his head to look at him as he snapped apart a pair of chopsticks for his girlfriend. ¡°Where¡¯d you run off to last night? You didn¡¯t even bring your phone. When Xiao Cheng said you weren¡¯t coming back after he came back up, I even thought he was joking.¡±


    ¡°Well¡­¡± Yue Zhishi was nibbling on his straw, his eyes slightly evasive.


    Qin Yan joked, ¡°Le Le, you wouldn¡¯t have found someone behind your brother¡¯s back, right?¡± He leaned over Song Yu¡¯s chair and looked at Yue Zhishi. ¡°Hurry and tell me, which little lady¡¯s got her hands on you?¡±


    ¡°No one has,¡± Yue Zhishi immediately denied.


    ¡°Then where¡¯d you go?¡± Jiang Yufan worriedly said. ¡°You guys wouldn¡¯t know this, but he ran out wearing his pyjamas and house slippers.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Nan Jia studied Yue Zhishi¡¯s clothes and shoes, her eyes ending up on the gold buttons on his cuffs. The longer she looked at them, the more they seemed familiar, as though she¡¯d seen them somewhere before.


    Yue Zhishi was seriously panicking; his ears started to burn as he thought about the things that had happened last night, and his brain promptly went into disarray. He wasn¡¯t good at lying to begin with, and now, he was even more unable to give them an excuse.


    He didn¡¯t expect Shen Mi to speak. He was smiling, voice careless. ¡°I called him out last night to an internet cafe. We booked a room and played games all night. Didn¡¯t he just finish his preliminary round? I wanted to take him out to relax.¡±


    Without considering why Shen Mi helped rescue him, Yue Zhishi grabbed his excuse like it was a lifeline. ¡°That¡¯s right, I hung out with him at an internet cafe all night.¡±


    Jiang Yufan unconsciously helped him patch up his story. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t have gone back to the dorm for a change of clothes this morning, would you? The three of us left super early, and we didn¡¯t bump into you.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right.¡± Yue Zhishi nodded his head in agreement like a chicken pecking rice, and he threw a grateful look at Shen Mi, who¡¯d saved him from disaster.


    ¡°Let¡¯s eat, let¡¯s eat,¡± Shen Mi called out. He then turned around and asked Nan Jia, ¡°Senior, weren¡¯t you talking about the arts festival¡¯s preliminary round earlier on the way here? How about it, do you have any front line news you can leak out?¡±


    Nan Jia didn¡¯t seem to be paying much attention. She didn¡¯t hear what Shen Mi had said, and she waited until he repeated his question before nodding. ¡°Yes.¡± She smiled as she looked at Yue Zhishi. ¡°Le Le, I was sorting out the evaluation forms from the judges yesterday, and I saw your score was really high. All the comments were also really good, so you¡¯ll definitely be able to get into the school team.¡±


    ¡°Are you serious?¡± Yue Zhishi was extremely happy. ¡°That¡¯s fantastic news. Then I can start getting ready for the upcoming competitions.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right. The results will be announced in the next few days, and then I¡¯ll have a meeting with you and your other teammates.¡± Nan Jia patted his shoulder. ¡°You¡¯re our law school¡¯s new rising star this year. Tell me if you¡¯re lacking anything, I¡¯ll do my best to help you.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not lacking anything.¡± Catching Nan Jia¡¯s hand, Yue Zhishi swung it up and down and didn¡¯t stand on ceremony at all. ¡°But I really need a beautiful female model. It¡¯d be best if she was beautiful enough to be the school flower, and still be beautiful no matter what kind of clothing she wore.¡±


    The entire table burst into laughter.


    ¡°I can¡¯t believe the law school¡¯s school flower and school grass bargain like this in private!¡±


    ¡°Hahahahaha you set yourself up for that, senior Nan Jia.¡±


    Nan Jia was also laughing so hard she couldn¡¯t sit straight. ¡°Fine fine fine, how could I refuse after you begged me? Then you have to design a beautiful dress for me.¡±


    ¡°I will I will, I¡¯ll give the best-looking one to you.¡±


    Song Yu opened the door to the room, heading back to his seat. He didn¡¯t interrupt, seeing their gleeful chatter, and only poured a cup of hot water for Yue Zhishi to let it cool down.


    ¡°Not bad, not bad. I¡¯ll wait to watch Le Le at the finals.¡± Qin Yan grabbed a bit of the cold appetisers for his girlfriend, and then teased again, ¡°Since you¡¯ve passed the preliminary round, then I guess our Le Le didn¡¯t waste last night¡¯s internet cafe room.¡±


    Frowning, Song Yu turned his head and looked at Yue Zhishi. ¡°Internet cafe?¡±


    Qin Yan explained to him, ¡°Oh, you didn¡¯t hear yet? Your brother went behind your back last night and stayed overnight at an internet cafe with this Shen Mi here. They played games all night. I didn¡¯t expect him to also be someone addicted to the internet.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Song Yu pushed up the glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose, sounding rather thoughtful.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong with it?¡± Qin Yan thought Song Yu wasn¡¯t happy, and so he went to stand next to Yue Zhishi, speaking for Song Yu. ¡°I think this older brother of yours is so strict he¡¯s almost like a dad. It¡¯s beyond normal for an eighteen, nineteen year old boy to play games somewhere overnight. Someone as obedient as Le Le is ridiculously hard to find. Am I right, Le Le.¡±


    With his face covered with a look that said aren¡¯t I so loyal, he raised his chin at Yue Zhishi ¡ª but Yue Zhishi was silently begging him to speak less.


    Song Yu gazed at Yue Zhishi¡¯s direction, and his voice seemed fairly calm. ¡°Do you think I¡¯m strict?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Yue Zhishi swiftly said without even thinking about it. ¡°My gege is the kind of good gege that¡¯s ridiculously hard to find.¡±


    Everyone around the table chuckled in amusement. ¡°Le Le, how could you be so cute.¡±


    Song Yu stared at Yue Zhishi and arched an eyebrow. He inquired, voice deep, ¡°What game was so fun to play?¡±


    Yue Zhishi pressed his lips together, his heart running. With a very light voice, he weakly replied, ¡°¡­it was just a normal game.¡±


    At this moment, Shen Mi didn¡¯t come out to help him, and he looked entirely like he had no relationship with him at all, knowing nothing except how to drink his milk tea.


    ¡°Looks like you didn¡¯t enjoy yourself enough.¡± Song Yu¡¯s hand was gently wrapped around the white porcelain cup, his thumb lightly rubbing against the smooth surface. He spoke with an indifferent voice, clean from any inflection, but only the two of them seemed to be able to understand the words that came out of his mouth.


    ¡°I, I did¡­.¡± Yue Zhishi pretty much couldn¡¯t continue further, his face about to go up in flames.


    ¡°Take me along next time?¡± Song Yu curved down his head, gazing into his eyes.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s Adam¡¯s apple slid up and down, and he meekly nodded, whispering, ¡°Okay.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Refined_rascal_unlocked


    Without his previous love rival annoying him, Song Yu wouldn¡¯t have even realised he had the ability to drive a high speed rail train while sitting at the dining table

 CH 68

    Chapter 68: Dark and Gloomy Breeding Ground


    Song Yu¡¯s provocation having reached that point, he decided to let it go once he saw Yue Zhishi¡¯s red ears.


    A waiter pushed open the door to the room and placed dishes one after another onto the table, a platter with a large steamed fish head set into the very middle. An equal mix of chopped spicy red chillies and pickled green peppers were poured over the top, and delicate fish flesh soaked in the sauce along with its translucent layers of gelatine. It was spicy, and yet the sourness of the pickled peppers teased the appetite. Yue Zhishi really liked mixing his rice with the steamed fish head¡¯s sauce, and it would be even better if he could get a mouthful of preserved eggs mashed with spicy green peppers to eat with it. Mashing the soft, roasted peppers with preserved eggs until everything was crushed together made the entire dish creamy and silky ¡ª and a light, mild milky fragrance could be savoured.


    He loved the kind of delicious dishes that were made using every day ingredients; they were like the majority of everyone¡¯s lives: everyone was very ordinary, yet there would always be someone who lived their lives filled with pleasure and beauty.


    Both Qin Yan and Jiang Yufan were the type to really take care of their partners when in a relationship. They were constantly serving food and pouring soup for their girlfriends, and noises of their mutual teasing and nagging, clever jokes or snappy lines, were heard around the table. They made the lunch very lively. Yue Zhishi was watching them while he ate, and he occasionally joined in their chatter with a few words; when he lowered his head, he realised his own bowl suddenly held an extra piece of fish, free of bones with no scallions or minced ginger. There was also a small portion of the fish collar ¡ª something Yue Zhishi enjoyed eating.


    He looked at Song Yu and quietly said to him, ¡°You eat it.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t speak. He lowered his head and drank some soup, saying he didn¡¯t like that part.


    ¡°How delicious are fish collars, it¡¯s usually super expensive when you buy them grilled,¡± Qin Yan said.


    Hearing them talk about fish collars, Jiang Yufan stared at Yue Zhishi¡¯s face for a while from his seat directly across from him. He stared until Yue Zhishi lifted his head and met his eyes, and then he poked in the air with his chopsticks. ¡°Le Le, why do you have a split lip?¡±


    Shen Mi and Nan Jia also peeked at him.


    ¡°Huh?¡± Yue Zhishi subconsciously licked his lip before remembering something. His face madly flushed, and he said, ¡°The weather¡¯s been a bit dry lately¡­ My lips have been peeling, and I accidentally split it when I was picking at the skin.¡±


    Song Yu pushed a cup of water in front of him as soon as he finished speaking. ¡°Drink.¡±


    Yue Zhishi glanced at him, but he could only obediently pick up the boiled water he¡¯d been unwilling to drink.


    ¡°I think it¡¯s been okay. The last few days have been damned humid with it raining every day. We¡¯ve only been able to practice indoors.¡± Qin Yan stretched. ¡°Once your arts festival¡¯s over, it¡¯ll be about time for basketball season to start. And then we¡¯ll have to continue training. Brother Song, come over and help with the new kids when you¡¯re free.¡±


    Song Yu put down his chopsticks, mildly saying, ¡°We can talk about it again when I¡¯m back.¡±


    ¡°Back?¡± Jiang Yufan was curious. ¡°Senior, are you heading out for field work again?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was obviously much more surprised than he was ¡ª he almost choked, and he ended up coughing for a while.


    ¡°Mn.¡± Song Yu gave him some more water, and the tone of his voice was much gentler than before, sounding as though he was explaining only to him. ¡°I was notified only last night.¡±


    No wonder. They¡¯d met in the middle of the night yesterday, and they hadn¡¯t been able to speak about other things.


    ¡°Then how long will you be gone? Will you leave the province?¡± Yue Zhishi hurriedly asked, not bothering with his water.


    Song Yu dipped his head. ¡°For around a week.¡±


    Pressing his lips together, Yue Zhishi very sensibly didn¡¯t continue asking further, but Qin Yan, with his curious heart stirred up, asked a bunch of various questions. ¡°Hey, what kind of stuff is this place filled with? Any expensive rock or ore or something? Bring me back some~¡±


    ¡°It has plenty of nanmu wood.¡± Song Yu took off his glasses and placed them on the table, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.


    ¡°Nanmu? Is that really expensive?¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice was filled with doubt, and he took and fiddled with Song Yu¡¯s glasses, perching them on top of his own nose.


    ¡°Yes.¡± Song Yu raised his eyes. ¡°Valuable for coffin making.¡±


    ¡°Coffins?¡± Shen Mi was the first to burst into laughter. ¡°Hahahahaha, that¡¯s fantastic!¡±


    Everyone around the table howled, and Qin Yan wrapped his arm around Song Yu¡¯s neck, shaking him. ¡°You little shit, your mouth¡¯s so poisonous!¡±


    ¡°Weren¡¯t you looking for something expensive.¡± A slight smile was on Song Yu¡¯s face, and his eyes were directed at Yue Zhishi. He gently told him to take off his glasses, saying, ¡°Don¡¯t wear mine, it¡¯ll be bad for your eyes.¡±


    After finishing their lunch, Qin Yan was going to bring Nan Jia and Shen Mi back to the basketball team while Jiang Yufan was going to go on a date with his girlfriend. Everyone separated in front of the restaurant. The car park was a bit far; the rest of them stood and waited for Qin Yan and Song Yu to drive their cars over. Yue Zhishi and Nan Jia were standing on the side of the road, watching as Shen Mi and Jiang Yufan pretended to fight and fuss with each other not too far away. The sky was so blue it was clear and transparent, and clouds floated high up ¡ª only the wind was a bit strong, and so Nan Jia gathered her windbreaker around herself tightly. She looked at Yue Zhishi and noticed his wrist.


    ¡°Your watch¡¯s really nice,¡± Nan Jia praised very sincerely. Pulling her messy hair behind her ears, she lightly said, ¡°I only noticed just now. I¡¯m truly so slow.¡±


    Yue Zhishi only heard the first part of her words, and he happily said, ¡°Right? Senior, you think it¡¯s nice?¡±


    Nan Jia earnestly nodded. ¡°It must¡¯ve been a birthday present. You can tell someone¡¯s spent a lot of time and effort while choosing it.¡±


    But she didn¡¯t ask who gifted it, and Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t notice anything wrong ¡ª he only nodded in pleasure. Except he was still slightly unused to wearing it, saying, ¡°I¡¯ve never worn a watch before. This looks really expensive, so I keep worrying about knocking it into things. I¡¯m also afraid it doesn¡¯t suit me.¡±


    ¡°You worry way too much.¡± Nan Jia patted his shoulder and gave him a sweet and pretty smile. ¡°No one is more suitable than you. And the important thing isn¡¯t the watch ¡ª it¡¯s the feelings behind it. It¡¯ll be fine as long as you make sure to protect and treasure it.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded and helped wrapped the loose half of Nan Jia¡¯s scarf back around her neck. When he heard Qin Yan¡¯s voice, he turned around and saw his and Song Yu¡¯s cars drawing near.


    Song Yu¡¯s car was the same as his person: matte black, very low key and spotlessly clean. He sat in the driver¡¯s seat, steering without any expression on his face, and occasionally glanced at the mirrors.


    Jiang Yufan and his girlfriend came over, and he first said Yue Zhishi was wearing too little and then told him to remember to bring him back some yummy things after going home. Yue Zhishi responded to everything, while Jiang Yufan¡¯s girlfriend asked Nan Jia, curious, ¡°Senior, are you currently single?¡±


    Nan Jia smiled as she nodded. ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Are your standards too high?¡± Jiang Yufan¡¯s girlfriend joked, ¡°Or maybe there are really too few suitable people.¡±


    ¡°Not at all,¡± Nan Jia chuckled. ¡°I don¡¯t have a particular ideal in mind. It¡¯ll be fine even if I just liked how the person looked at first glance. I¡¯m just currently missing that tiny bit of fate.¡±


    The other girl also laughed. ¡°Then what about a girl hahahaha.¡±


    Nan Jia pulled up her hair into a ponytail very handsomely and purposefully winked at her. ¡°Who knows.¡±


    Jiang Yufan suddenly felt a sense of danger and jumped to stand in between his own girlfriend and Nan Jia. ¡°Senior, not this one. Not this one.¡±


    Yue Zhishi laughed until his stomach hurt, and he crouched down, propping up his face like a child while he gazed at them. He stayed there until Song Yu arrived in front of him with his car, rolling down his window. Yue Zhishi stood back up, getting into the car and leaving after saying goodbye to everyone.


    On the drive back, Yue Zhishi had nothing to do. He took Song Yu¡¯s phone and watched some anime, but he didn¡¯t like the newly released sequel. Without even finishing an episode and before they¡¯d even crossed the river, he¡¯d already fallen asleep in the passenger seat, his head curved.


    They were almost home by the time he woke back up. He noticed his seat was laid flat, and there was a U-shaped pillow supporting his neck ¡ª Song Yu was still in his driver¡¯s seat, focused on driving, as though he¡¯d done nothing at all.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t make a sound and didn¡¯t get up; he lay in his seat, on his back, and reached out, caressing Song Yu¡¯s elbow.


    ¡°You¡¯re awake.¡± Song Yu quickly looked at him from above through his rearview mirror, and then he gave him a bottle of sparkling water. ¡°Have some.¡±


    Listening to him, Yue Zhishi sat up. His mind was a bit fuzzy from sleep, so after he opened the bottle and drank a large mouthful, he stared at the sky in a daze. It had been only a short while, and yet the sky had already changed ¡ª the world outside the window looked as though it was covered by grey fog, heavy and ugly rain clouds all gathered together to darken the sky.


    Lin Rong and Song Jin had originally planned to come and have dinner near their university, but Song Jin hadn¡¯t been able to leave work. Coincidentally, since Song Yu needed to head out to the northwest region of China for fieldwork, he wanted to go back home and stay for a night, conveniently packing up a few pieces of thicker clothes.


    The last time Yue Zhishi had gone home, it¡¯d been by himself. It had been the same as always: he¡¯d eaten and slept, played around with the cat and dog at home, watched dramas with Lin Rong while listening to her gossip ¡ª he hadn¡¯t felt much of a burden. But returning this time with Song Yu, his heart kept feeling vaguely uneasy.


    They exited the elevator, and Song Yu didn¡¯t look different compared to usual. He silently opened the door to their home, and Yue Zhishi went into the hallway entrance with him, changing his shoes. Their house slippers were already waiting at the doorway, placed neatly and tidily.


    Cotton Candy immediately rushed out, and he circled around Yue Zhishi and Song Yu¡¯s legs. Picking him up, Yue Zhishi kissed him a few times on his head and closed the door. He heard Lin Rong calling from inside, ¡°Are you boys back?¡±


    In that moment, Yue Zhishi was transported back to secondary school. Every day they¡¯d come home during the midday break, Lin Rong had waited for them, just like this.


    He made a noise in response and greeted her; he then went in with his slippers, Cotton Candy jumping out of his arms to bother Song Yu. Orange was sleeping on the sofa in the living room, and he raised his head at the noise, lazily swaying his tail like he was giving them a very dignified greeting.


    A half-finished cashmere sweater was left on the sofa, the other one already completed. The only difference between them was the colour.


    Yue Zhishi had bought Lin Rong¡¯s favourite ice cream downstairs. Whenever they watched television together, Lin Rong would always fuss and say, ¡°I¡¯ll get fat again after finishing this,¡± and then devour the entire carton.


    Song Yu followed behind, only greeting his mom after entering. Lin Rong came out of the kitchen in a dusty pink apron, holding a tomato, and was completely bare-faced; her hair was very loosely tied up behind her head. In Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes, she didn¡¯t look much different compared to ten years ago.


    ¡°I bought ice cream, I¡¯ll put it into the freezer.¡± Yue Zhishi headed over to pull open the freezer door.


    ¡°Aiyah, I¡¯ll gain weight again,¡± Lin Rong may have said, but she still went after Yue Zhishi, looking at what flavour he¡¯d bought.


    ¡°Your dad¡¯s on his way back, he¡¯ll be home soon.¡± She lifted her head, looked at Song Yu and then frowned. ¡°Xiao Yu, have your eyes gotten worse?¡±


    ¡°They¡¯re okay.¡± Song Yu said he only wore them when studying or driving. ¡°They¡¯re still around 200 degrees.¡±


    ¡°Make sure you get them checked on a regular basis, you can¡¯t let them get worse.¡± Lin Rong smoothened out a wrinkle on his coat before she turned around and went back into the kitchen with her uncut tomato. She chattered, ¡°I hear if your nearsightedness gets to 600 degrees, it¡¯ll be passed onto your next generation. Our family has no history of nearsightedness, so try not to let your little one have bad eyes as soon as they¡¯re born.¡±


    Yue Zhishi froze for an entire second once he heard what Lin Rong said. A thin, closely woven layer of pain slowly grew on his face ¡ª it felt ice-cold, like it was being pierced by many very narrow, very small needles.


    He looked over, and just happened to meet Song Yu¡¯s eyes. Song Yu seemed to be extremely sensitive to his reaction; he directly went and caught his arm. He didn¡¯t use much strength, but it felt like his hand pressed onto one of Yue Zhishi¡¯s restlessly beating nerves, giving him some reassurance.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to rest upstairs for a bit,¡± Song Yu said, looking at Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes.


    Lin Rong replied with her back to them, ¡°Go ahead, it¡¯s still early. It¡¯s only 4pm.¡±


    But Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t go up with him ¡ª he stayed in the kitchen, helping Lin Rong get the vegetables ready for cooking.


    Song Yu stood in place for a while, as if he didn¡¯t want to head upstairs by himself, but his cellphone rang with a call from his advisor. He ended up going upstairs.


    ¡°Your brother¡¯s so busy,¡± Lin Rong sighed.


    Compared to the majority of other mothers, Lin Rong very often gave off the sense of being not too reliable. She didn¡¯t seem to be as steady as many other mothers, let alone appear to be as weary. She was young, beautiful and had a childish heart ¡ª she liked to whine and act spoiled to her husband and son, and sometimes she¡¯d even be talked about by their relatives behind her back.


    But in reality, Lin Rong took it upon herself to take care of their lives as wholeheartedly and seriously as any other mother. Everyone in her family had their food, clothing, shelter and transportation organised perfectly; Yue Zhishi thought even if she cooked the simplest stir-fried vegetables, the dish she made was better than what anyone else could make.


    ¡°How¡¯s school? Any issues with the preliminary round?¡± Lin Rong made a very shallow cross cut on the top of the tomato and then placed it into boiling water for a few minutes.


    ¡°No, there shouldn¡¯t be.¡± Yue Zhishi told her about some of the things that¡¯d happened at school, focusing on only the minor ones ¡ª like the old professor who lectured with an accent, the revolting watermelon stir-fried with meat in the cafeteria and the osmanthus flowers that¡¯d bloomed across an entire road without anyone plucking them.


    The sole thing he didn¡¯t dare talk about was his current dating life.


    ¡°What a pity, they could¡¯ve been made into so much osmanthus sugar. Ah, that¡¯s right ¡ª I made some tangyuan with osmanthus sugar. I left them in the freezer, so have some after dinner.¡± The skin of the tomato started to curl, and Lin Rong scooped it out, putting it into iced water. She peeled off the skin, placing it to the side, and then pulled out a long stalk of celery; after breaking off the end, she very carefully pulled off the rough strings on the back of the stalk.


    Yue Zhishi also grabbed another stalk, attempting to help her. But he wasn¡¯t very used to the movements, and Lin Rong taught him how to do it, step by step. ¡°Like this. Pull off the strings from the bottom part. Yes, just like that.¡±


    At one point, she called Yue Zhishi ¡®maomao¡¯. She usually called him Le Le, sometimes called him darling ¡ª maomao was what people in this city called little babies who¡¯d just been born. But Lin Rong often called Yue Zhishi by that nickname, as though he was still a very small child needing to be breastfed.


    Yue Zhishi was already used to it, and yet when he suddenly heard it come out of her mouth today, his nose started to burn.


    ¡°The two of you are honestly so funny. You can¡¯t eat so many things, but you love eating everything except for ginger and goji berries. Your brother¡¯s much more troublesome with how picky he is ¡ª he won¡¯t eat celery with strings still in them or unpeeled tomatoes. And he likes soup.¡± She set down the peeled celery talks to one side and gave a great sigh. ¡°Luckily he knows how to cook himself, or else I¡¯d be so worried.¡±


    Knowing what she would be worried about, Yue Zhishi only said, ¡°Gege is really amazing, he can do everything by himself.¡±


    ¡°But he still needs someone to care for him and for him to care for.¡± Lin Rong chopped the cooled tomato into chunks and put it into the wok that was simmering over the stove. Chunks of beef, braised until soft, were inside. ¡°I actually don¡¯t know how to feel. On one hand, I don¡¯t want you guys to grow up ¡ª either of you ¡ª and whenever I remember the two of you will one day leave me to create your own families, my heart really hurts.¡±


    She stirred the wok with a small spoon. ¡°But the thing is, I still want you guys to be able to find someone you like. Especially your brother. Every time I think about how lonely he always is, I feel so upset. He clearly has such good qualities, so why has he been single all these years?¡±


    Yue Zhishi stayed silent. He didn¡¯t know what he should say, so he didn¡¯t add to the conversation at all.


    ¡°I know he has high standards, and he might not be able to be like other children and immediately find someone he likes. But he can¡¯t keep continuing on like this. I¡¯ll get anxious.¡± She scooped out some soup, blew on it and held it out for Yue Zhishi. ¡°Give it a try. Does it need more salt?¡±


    Yue Zhishi obediently sipped it and shook his head. ¡°It¡¯s perfect.¡± He touched Lin Rong¡¯s arm, trying to comfort her, but he could only say to her, ¡°Don¡¯t think about stuff like that anymore.¡±


    ¡°Then what else can I think about?¡± Lin Rong set down the spoon. ¡°The two of you are grown up now. We can only hope for you and your brother to be safe and healthy and to spend each day in happiness. For you to have very blissful lives.¡± She stroked Yue Zhishi¡¯s face, wrinkling her own nose a bit playfully. ¡°But you¡¯re still young, don¡¯t rush to get into a relationship. I still want you to stay with me for a few more years.¡±


    Yue Zhishi smiled. ¡°Why aren¡¯t you rushing me?¡±


    Crouching down, Lin Rong checked the chicken wings baking in the oven. She said, voice full of worry, ¡°Because darling, you¡¯re too innocent. I¡¯m really scared of you getting tricked. It¡¯s already bad enough to have your feelings cheated, but what if someone likes you and you don¡¯t like them back? Or what if they come back for revenge after breaking up? You already have a body different from everyone else. If you end up in some kind of danger, I¡¯ll probably cry myself to death.¡±


    Yue Zhishi stood in the kitchen, completely still ¡ª he gazed at Aunt Rong, who was crouching right in front of him, and was unable to push a single word out of his mouth. His eyes were stinging, but he restrained his own emotions. For a single moment, he wanted to come clean to Lin Rong: he wanted to tell her that there was a possibility he liked men and didn¡¯t like women.


    But he looked at the kitchen, brimming with food, and thought about the sweaters sitting in the living room. His thoughts jumped around, and they landed on Song Jin, who was rushing home from work to spend his birthday with him despite being so busy with work.


    He let go of that reckless thought.


    At the very least, he didn¡¯t want to shatter the one day everyone was focused on celebrating with him.


    Yue Zhishi was heartbroken for everyone except himself. The love and warmth, the flavours and smells of life in his home ¡ª they were like a dull knife scraping at his heart, and it made him unable to decide between going forward or moving backwards. In the end, he chose to hide away.


    ¡°I¡¯ll go feed Orange and Cotton Candy.¡±


    Lin Rong turned around and lovingly brushed a hand down his back. ¡°Sure. I¡¯ve left their food bowls upstairs in the entrance of the corner storage room. Don¡¯t give them too much, Cotton Candy¡¯s stomach hasn¡¯t been too well lately.¡±


    Going upstairs with slow footsteps, Yue Zhishi knelt outside the storage room and poured some dog food for Cotton Candy. He then opened a can of cat food for Orange. Cotton Candy hurtled upstairs as soon as he heard the sound of food, while Orange leisurely made his way. Yue Zhishi sat in front of them, hugging his knees, and quietly watched on as they ate.


    ¡°Don¡¯t eat so quickly,¡± he softly said to Cotton Candy. Stroking his back, Yue Zhishi felt like he¡¯d lost weight, and even his breathing had become heavier.


    Yue Zhishi rose back up and walked down the corridor to open the door to his room. The curtains were pulled open inside, and his room was very dim in the rainy, overcast day. He lifted a hand, wanting to close the door and turn on the lights; abruptly, he felt his arm being caught by a warm hand.


    The door was pushed shut.


    He met Song Yu¡¯s eyes as soon as he raised his head. All of a sudden, for no reason at all, Yue Zhishi felt bleak.


    In the past, if Song Yu had entered his room like this, he would¡¯ve been ridiculously, insanely happy. But Song Yu had never came.


    His arm lowered. He didn¡¯t want to turn on the lights anymore.


    Yue Zhishi tilted down his face, and in the shadowy room, he wordlessly wrapped his arms around Song Yu. They leaned on the door ¡ª beyond it lay their bright, warm home.


    Song Yu raised a hand, massaging Yue Zhishi¡¯s nape. He gently asked, ¡°Tired?¡±


    Still in his arms, Yue Zhishi shook his head, giving him an answer to a question he didn¡¯t ask. Very, very quietly, he called out, Song Yu.


    ¡°Hm?¡± Song Yu looked down, and his hand slid to his back, lightly caressing.


    ¡°I love you,¡± Yue Zhishi very quietly said.


    Song Yu seemed to understand something ¡ª both of them had extremely keen abilities to sense the changes in each other¡¯s emotions. But Song Yu didn¡¯t ask the reason for his current mood, only lifting up Yue Zhishi¡¯s face. He didn¡¯t kiss him, as though he was afraid of agitating him, and simply pressed their foreheads lightly together. ¡°It¡¯s your birthday today. Don¡¯t be sad.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not sad.¡± Yue Zhishi rose on his tiptoes and kissed Song Yu. He didn¡¯t dodge away, squeezing him even tighter.


    The colour of the sky was edging closely to darkness, and this room was like a breeding ground that could tolerate secrets and mistakes ¡ª even though Yue Zhishi knew one day they needed to turn on the lights.


    No one could live their entire life in darkness. Especially someone like Song Yu, so outstanding he belonged to a shining and brilliant future.


    There will be one day where their lies would be laid bare, but he secretly told himself in his heart: when that day really came, he wanted everything to be laid upon himself. Song Yu was someone cautious and thorough, and he had a perfect, orderly life ¡ª he shouldn¡¯t be the one to make mistakes, and it also shouldn¡¯t be him to admit to those mistakes.


    In his parents¡¯ hearts, in pretty much everyone¡¯s hearts, Song Yu would become an extraordinary man of learning. He¡¯d shine and glow in his chosen field, have a beautiful and kind wife, and then he¡¯d have an adorable child blessed with his excellent genes. His life would be full of joy, and would not have a single blemish.


    At this thought, Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart started to irrationally hurt; it became hard to breathe.


    He was so petty ¡ª even imagining something like that gave him pain. If a hopeful, glorious blueprint of life really needed to be shredded, then it should be his.


    After all, he had been so selfish. He¡¯d snatched away all of Song Yu¡¯s possibilities.


    To Yue Zhishi, the love Song Yu gave him was like a prize dropped from the sky; it was a beautiful dream he was unwilling to wake from. But Yue Zhishi was very aware ¡ª to him, the familial love Lin Rong and Song Jin gave him was precious and unlike anything else.


    He had no one else he could call his family.


    It was highly unlikely he could have both. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t think he would be that fortunate. Greedy people would get nothing at all, so he needed to prepare himself to one day give up one of them.


    Lost in his thoughts, Yue Zhishi could feel Song Yu drawing him in closer. He called out a single Le Le, voice very low, and it made Yue Zhishi feel very, very secure.


    ¡°I suddenly want to see your parents,¡± Song Yu said.


    This was already something that couldn¡¯t be done, but Yue Zhishi still asked, ¡°Why all of a sudden?¡±


    Song Yu spoke very gravely. ¡°I need to thank them for giving birth to you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi felt even more distressed, but he didn¡¯t want to cry. He continued holding it in.


    ¡°I hear you were born in the afternoon. I remember my parents receiving a phone call in the afternoon, but it should¡¯ve been morning in England.¡± Song Yu softly laughed, as though he was laughing at himself for unexpectedly being able to remember something that¡¯d happened when he was three.


    His chin gently rested on the top of Yue Zhishi¡¯s head. A rarely seen feeling of dependency came from his posture, as if at this moment, Song Yu really needed Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°I really want to go back to this time nineteen years ago. I want to wait for you to be born in the delivery room, and then hold your hand.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes were burning, stinging very badly, but he was still smiling. ¡°Just my hand?¡±


    Song Yu hesitated. ¡°Would they let a three year old child carry you?¡±


    ¡°Perhaps, if it were you.¡± Yue Zhishi felt he was being very strange, acting as though that fantasy was real. ¡°What would you do? Steal the baby away?¡±


    Song Yu shook his head. ¡°I would carry you to the corner and tell you ¡ª we¡¯ll grow up together. I really like you, and a bit more than a decade later, we¡¯ll be together.¡± He spoke lightly, airily, and yet his voice was tender, tugging Yue Zhishi out from his suffering and anxiety and giving him warmth.


    ¡°Please fall in love with me a bit earlier, okay?¡±

 CH 69

    Chapter 69: Peaceful Harmony


    Yue Zhishi said yes without even hesitating.


    He would always give Song Yu what he wanted.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s personality was actually one that went with the flow, readily adaptable to anything that happened, and would rarely think about all the possibilities and what-ifs. Because to him, it was cruel to imagine alternatives to his life; things that were already lost to him remained lost. The more beautiful and peaceful things he imagined, the more cruel reality would be ¡ª which is why he so calmly accepted his reality of not having parents and accepted his own highly allergic body and asthma that made him unable to do so many things. As long as he accepted things easily enough, the less there would be to regret.


    But as he remained in Song Yu¡¯s embrace, Yue Zhishi really longed for something different ¡ª even if time couldn¡¯t rewind back to before he turned three years old, even if he couldn¡¯t have his own family again, that was fine too. He wouldn¡¯t be greedy; he¡¯d be happy for time to rewind just a little, tiny bit.


    If he¡¯d learned of Song Yu¡¯s heart just a little earlier, then he wouldn¡¯t have left him standing there by himself for so long.


    ¡°Say, if we didn¡¯t grow up together, would you still like me?¡± Yue Zhishi asked, nestled in Song Yu¡¯s arms. He was reluctant to move away.


    Song Yu nodded. ¡°I would.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t think of many things about him that would move Song Yu¡¯s heart, but he pulled out a few reasons he thought were reasonable. ¡°You think I have a decent face and have an acceptable personality, right?¡±


    Song Yu wasn¡¯t too satisfied with Yue Zhishi¡¯s ¡®decent¡¯ and ¡®acceptable¡¯. He didn¡¯t understand why Yue Zhishi¡¯s understanding of himself never seemed to match up with his true self when he¡¯d grown up being pursued and flattered.


    ¡°You are the best-looking person I¡¯ve ever seen, and you have the best personality I¡¯ve ever met. But that¡¯s just a small part of why you shine,¡± Song Yu said very steadily. The exaggerated praise that left his mouth was unusual, but he said the words heavily and with such strength that they left no room to be questioned. ¡°You are a child born to be loved by everyone who sees you. It¡¯s natural for me to like you.¡±


    And besides, no one else would be like Yue Zhishi ¡ª his heart had been given only to him, and he never asked for anything in return as it released light and warmth for Song Yu.


    He¡¯d clearly held it in for so long, but Yue Zhishi still ended up crying. Tears rolled down his face, but they fell silently, without noise.


    After growing up and becoming an adult, being able to cry had turned into something of a luxury; it was embarrassing and private, and tears could no longer fall at any moment and at any time. They were meant to fall when alone, so that no one would be able to tell they¡¯d cried. It was a basic rule of being an adult: to not create emotional burdens for anyone else.


    But to Yue Zhishi, Song Yu was a secret time capsule. In his arms, Yue Zhishi, who was now an adult, could forever be a small child who cried whenever he wanted.


    By the time Song Jin came back home, Yue Zhishi had already recovered his relatively mature appearance. He poured tea for Song Jin like a well-behaved child, and they sat together and chatted without a single hint of anything wrong. No matter who looked at them, they looked like a pair of father and son who had nothing they couldn¡¯t say to each other.


    Song Jin had a habit of bringing home presents for his family no matter where he went, and everyone¡¯s gift would be different. It was one of Yue Zhishi¡¯s most favourite activities to have everyone sitting around the living room and opening their presents together.


    He received a book this time, written by Justice Albie Sachs from the Constitutional Court of South Africa. It talked about how South Africa¡¯s constitution was created and established, providing a view into the country as it transformed into a republic, and explored the concepts of human rights, freedom and equality. Song Jin liked buying books for the two boys, and especially for Yue Zhishi. He would always personally read through a selection of books, pick out the one he thought was worth reading and write, on the title page, three words: ¡®To: Zhishi¡¯. It was like an old-fashioned, traditional blessing.


    ¡°I¡¯ve already read it, and I think you¡¯d really like it.¡± Song Jin swallowed some tea. ¡°I used to think you wouldn¡¯t really suit law. Your personality¡¯s too gentle, and you¡¯re too kind. But my previous biases have changed after reading that book ¡ª now, I think you¡¯d really be suited for law. That profession really needs empathy, mercy and justice.¡± His loving face held a slight hint of delight, as though he was pleased about the change in his own thinking.


    ¡°Really?¡± Yue Zhishi was also delighted; it was very important to him to be able to get something similar to fatherly approval from Song Jin.


    Within Yue Zhishi¡¯s last ten-plus years of growing up, Song Jin had acted like a father figure ¡ª he¡¯d worked and struggled to improve their lives and had given all of them an extremely solid material foundation and emotional support.


    ¡°Yes.¡± Even though Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t been truly questioning him, Song Jin still gave him a concrete response. He placed down his tea cup and leaned back against the sofa, gazing at the photo hung on the wall. ¡°I sometimes think you¡¯re so gentle and calm because you¡¯ve grown up with me. Our family¡¯s environment has definitely shaped your personality. If you¡¯d grown up with Yue Yi, you might be more open and cheerful; you might even be a little adventurer ready to try anything.¡±


    Only when he was talking about Yue Zhishi¡¯s father would Song Jin¡¯s face reveal a complicated smile. His lips were curled up, but his eyes were in pain.


    ¡°He might look down at me for teaching you to be so conventional.¡± Song Jin smiled as he said, ¡°If it were him, he might¡¯ve taken you mountain climbing, snorkelling; he would¡¯ve taught you how to ski. But your body¡¯s not too strong, so I would¡¯ve been worried. If he¡¯d wanted to take you to all those things, I definitely would¡¯ve gotten into a big fight with him ¡ª I¡¯d tell him to settle down, to learn how to be a reliable father. I was already talking about it when you were first born. He must¡¯ve been so annoyed with me.¡±


    Song Jin fell silent, staring at the crystal clear liquid in his tea cup. He then patted his knees. ¡°Let¡¯s not talk about it anymore, it¡¯s time for dinner. I¡¯m going to see what kind of delicious things Xiao Rong has made today.¡±


    Yue Zhishi watched as Song Jin walked away, and he sunk into sadness and melancholy. But it wasn¡¯t for himself.


    To him, his father had only existed for three years. He hadn¡¯t been able to create a cache of memories and an emotional base for his father as an infant ¡ª but for Song Jin, Yue Zhishi¡¯s father had been the best friend he¡¯d grown up with, an existence as close and as intimate to him as his own hands and feet.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know if his dad had been a reliable father, but he definitely must¡¯ve been an extremely good friend.


    The dining table remained wreathed in warmth and comfort. Lin Rong made a very large sea salt and Oreo cream cake, and even the Oreos were homemade. All different kinds of berries that Yue Zhishi liked eating rested on the top. The chiffon cake was made from a mixture of rice and almond flour, and it was soft and puffy with a light nutty fragrance.


    ¡°I¡¯ve tested this recipe four times, you guys will definitely like it. It¡¯s a lot fluffier than the cakes from outside, and the texture¡¯s also really delicate. Quickly try it.¡± Lin Rong cut out and gave Yue Zhishi the largest slice. ¡°This birthday is the last year our Le Le will have a number one in front of his age. You have to stay healthy and sound.¡±


    Song Jin nodded, ¡°That¡¯s right, next year will be the start of your fragile twenties.¡±


    Lin Rong smacked him. ¡°Don¡¯t say the word fragile. He¡¯s going to be healthy and strong.¡±


    ¡°Healthy is possible.¡± Song Yu held Yue Zhishi¡¯s wrist and arm that were narrower than his by an entire circle. ¡°But I don¡¯t know about strong.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m heaps strong, I even have abs.¡± Yue Zhishi lifted up the bottom of his shirt, wanting to show Song Yu, but he suddenly remembered something and rapidly pulled it back down again. He continued to eat with his ears reddened.


    ¡°Abs are good, your brother¡¯s abs are quite nice.¡± After giving everyone a piece of cake, Lin Rong sat back down. ¡°Hurry and try it. This rice flour cake should be really good. Once your birthday¡¯s passed, I¡¯m going to make and sell mini versions at Yanghe Qizhe. I¡¯m going to call it ¡®Le Le¡¯s Sea Salt and Oreo Chiffon Cream Cake¡¯.¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t the name a bit long?¡±


    ¡°Hahaha true.¡±


    Yue Zhishi raised his fork, eating his first bite amidst the sound of laughter. Abruptly, he realised something he had never once noticed over the years.


    To Chinese families, the dining table was a very special, very sacred place. Adults would always say things like ¡®eat first, we¡¯ll talk afterwards¡¯ or ¡®you can¡¯t talk about unhappy things around the dining table¡¯. It didn¡¯t matter how hard life was ¡ª the dining table was a precious utopia. As everyone shared their food, they were also sharing in each other¡¯s lives.


    And in the Song family¡¯s utopia, wheat did not exist.


    Only Yue Zhishi was allergic to it, and yet over the last ten-plus years, their entire family of four had eliminated this seemingly essential allergen ¡ª for him.


    If he hadn¡¯t fallen in love with his own ¡®older brother¡¯, Yue Zhishi would¡¯ve been the happiest child in the entire world.


    That night, Song Jin watched a basketball match; Lin Rong continued to knit her sweater. Yue Zhishi headed towards the sofa with a cup of warm milk and very docilely leaned against Lin Rong¡¯s shoulder, watching as she used a pair of very thin knitting needles to double knit. Song Yu came over with a book, and he sat on the sofa next to them, reading.


    ¡°This is rare.¡± Lin Rong lifted her eyes and nudged Yue Zhishi with her shoulder. ¡°Your brother¡¯s not shut up by himself today.¡±


    Yue Zhishi looked over and happened to meet Song Yu¡¯s eyes just as he looked up as well. He felt somewhat guilty, but he felt like having the entire family gathered together was just too blissful.


    ¡°Maybe gege missed you,¡± Yue Zhishi said, leaning back onto Lin Rong¡¯s shoulder.


    ¡°Are you serious?¡± The string of yarn was hooked around Lin Rong¡¯s pinky. With a look on her face that said she intended to cutely whine, she said, ¡°How am I supposed to know he missed me if he doesn¡¯t tell me?¡± She gave Song Yu a meaningful look. ¡°Learn from your dad. Humans are born with mouths in order to speak.¡±


    Father Song had been focused on his match, and after being suddenly mentioned, he reached out and squeezed Lin Rong¡¯s shoulders without having a single clue about what was happening. He asked with some confusion, ¡°What¡¯s wrong, Xiao Rong?¡±


    Yue Zhishi and Lin Rong both laughed, and Song Yu grabbed and took a sip of Yue Zhishi¡¯s cup of warm milk, completely acting as though the entire situation had nothing to do with him.


    ¡°Nothing, I was just teasing your son.¡± She stopped moving her hands and started throwing a bunch of praise at Song Yu. ¡°Look at you. Your looks, your character ¡ª if you had just half of your dad¡¯s gentleness and thoughtfulness, even a goddess would come down from the heavens for you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi felt a bit shy for no reason at all, and he didn¡¯t dare make a noise. Song Yu, coincidentally drinking some milk, choked on her words and coughed twice before his face straightened out. He looked back down at his book and sedately said, ¡°Comrade Song Jin has both looks and character and is gentle, thoughtful and kind. Even he couldn¡¯t get a goddess, so how could I?¡±


    Lin Rong wasn¡¯t able to respond after hearing what he said; her mind whirled and went wait a second, and she placed her two hands in her lap. As soon as Yue Zhishi saw her posture, he immediately went to rub her back, saying, ¡°He did, he did ¡ª Aunt Rong is the goddess.¡±


    Lin Rong kicked Song Jin. ¡°Your son¡¯s provoking me every day. Aren¡¯t you going to handle him?¡±


    The match was just about to reach match point, and Song Jin wasn¡¯t able to split his attention both ways. He had only a general idea of what was happening, and he hugged his wife¡¯s shoulders and kissed the top of her head. ¡°I will. You¡¯re the queen mother after all.¡±


    Lin Rong pushed him away. ¡°What does that have to do with anything. Go watch your basketball.¡±


    Yue Zhishi had fallen over on the sofa from laughing so much, and he peeked a look at Song Yu, seeing the laughter also on his lips. For an instant, he felt like their life together as a family was truly very wonderful ¡ª he really hoped time could stop at this very moment.


    Seeing that even Song Yu was laughing, Lin Rong was both amused and annoyed, and she ended up releasing a long sigh. ¡°Since my Xiao Yu is so picky, I think he might not even like the goddess even if she came down for him. I wonder what kind of person he might end up liking?¡±


    Yue Zhishi continued to play dead, and he thought Song Yu would as well. Yet Song Yu unexpectedly opened his mouth, his eyes lowered onto his book, and with a calm and unperturbed face, he said, ¡°Forget about the goddess.¡±


    ¡°But I wouldn¡¯t mind an angel.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    This might be the happiest family environment I¡¯ve ever written

 CH 70

    Chapter 70: To Accept Things as They Come


    They stayed at home for a day and a half, and on Sunday night, Song Yu drove Yue Zhishi back to campus. The weather remained heavy and gloomy the entire time, but it refused to rain.


    As he sat in the car, Yue Zhishi closed his eyes to rest. He kept remembering how Lin Rong had looked as she hugged him, reluctant for him to leave. The trunk was stuffed full of the pastries and snacks she¡¯d made; she¡¯d given them so much he didn¡¯t know just how long she¡¯d spent in the kitchen to make them all.


    He was wearing the knit sweater Lin Rong had made, and placed on his legs was the book Song Jin had bought for him. He¡¯d grown up surrounded with love and freedom ¡ª an extremely safe and stable life was laid out for him to take, and yet he wilfully, stubbornly persisted in heading towards a dead end.


    On a certain level, he truly was similar to his father.


    After returning to campus, they didn¡¯t go back to their dorms. Song Yu needed to leave early the next day, so for the first time, he asked for Yue Zhishi to stay ¡ª even though the way he asked remained a vague question.


    ¡°Do you want to stay overnight at the apartment?¡±


    Yue Zhishi naturally agreed, and when Song Yu added an extra ¡®we won¡¯t do anything¡¯, he even said to him, ¡°You can do anything you want.¡±


    But Song Yu really didn¡¯t do anything, and he sat by himself on the floor in their room, mounting a projector, as Yue Zhishi showered. He was very different from a few years ago, when he¡¯d ruthlessly driven Yue Zhishi out of his room. Now, he could have Yue Zhishi leaning against his shoulder and very peacefully stay with him, accompanying him as they watched an anime movie Yue Zhishi liked.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes were bright, and he earnestly focused on the projection screen. He was like an adorable little animal; whenever there was an exciting moment, he would exuberantly kick his legs within the blanket and then lift his head, wrapping himself around Song Yu¡¯s neck to give his cheek a kiss.


    They often didn¡¯t need to speak ¡ª just with one simple movement, they would be able to understand what the other person was thinking. Yue Zhishi squirmed against Song Yu¡¯s neck, and Song Yu knew he was sleepy. He took away some of the pillows piled behind Yue Zhishi and told him to lie down.


    Yue Zhishi fell asleep after desperately fighting to stay awake for the final after-credit scene. Song Yu embraced him from the back, and he gently kissed Yue Zhishi¡¯s fair nape. His hands held onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s arms, and he wrapped him entirely, tightly, into his arms. He was like a safe and warm protective shield, and he was also like a machine falling dormant after connecting to a power supply.


    They were each other¡¯s solace, and each other¡¯s protection.


    Most likely because he subconsciously remembered Song Yu needed to leave very early, Yue Zhishi woke before the sky had even started to brighten. Usually fond of sleeping in when next to Song Yu¡¯s side, Yue Zhishi fuzzily moved a hand around, and after realising Song Yu was still next to him, still asleep behind his back, his heart steadied. He got up as quietly and gently as he could, and he copied what Song Yu had done before, stuffing a pillow into his arms to pretend it was him. He then ran downstairs to clean up and to make a simple breakfast.


    There were only eggs, bacon and rice toast in the kitchen, but he found a bottle of mustard. The ingredients didn¡¯t taste too bad after being put together, and he felt like Song Yu would like it.


    Song Yu¡¯s footsteps were a bit hurried as he came down, pausing halfway down the stairs when he saw Yue Zhishi coming out of the kitchen with two plates. His steps only then recovered back to their usual slow and leisurely pace.


    ¡°The things I make won¡¯t be really delicious.¡± Yue Zhishi took the chance to lower Song Yu¡¯s expectations. ¡°Don¡¯t be picky, and don¡¯t tell me if it¡¯s not nice.¡±


    Song Yu took a bite and then looked at Yue Zhishi who seemed to not care about how it tasted. ¡°It¡¯s tasty.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Yue Zhishi tried the sandwich he¡¯d personally made. ¡°It seems okay.¡±


    He felt like Song Yu¡¯s requirements for him always seemed very low. His ability to tolerate him seemed very high, and his attitude towards him seemed extremely mild. He¡¯d only just realised these things now, but after carefully combing through his memories, he realised Song Yu had been like this towards him since a very long time ago.


    Song Yu left with his previously prepared luggage before 8am. He left in a great hurry, and Yue Zhishi took the elevator down with him, still in his pyjamas and slippers. Without any hesitation, Song Yu kissed his forehead in the elevator and told him to continue sleeping after heading back up since he didn¡¯t have class that morning anyway.


    The elevator doors slid open, and the cold wind directly slithered itself around Yue Zhishi¡¯s neck and ankles. His eyes followed Song Yu as he entered the car park, gazing at his receding figure. Yue Zhishi was so cold his entire body was numb, and he shuddered.


    ¡°Song Yu,¡± he called out, very loudly. He watched as Song Yu turned around, and he initially wanted to run over ¡ª but Song Yu headed back towards with him with large strides until he arrived in front of Yue Zhishi.


    Yue Zhishi dived into Song Yu¡¯s coat very docilely and wrapped his arms around his waist. ¡°You have to be careful. Remember to bring me a present, and don¡¯t get sick.¡±


    Song Yu nodded. Since there was no one around them, Yue Zhishi rose onto his tiptoes and kissed his chin. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about me. I¡¯m not that sad anymore.¡±


    He knew Song Yu had been really worried about him over the last two days at home. It was why he hadn¡¯t stayed in his room by himself like he used to, and instead, had stayed with him in the living room and had stayed with him to do many things. Song Yu¡¯s care was silent, without sound ¡ª it flowed like still water, smoothly and deeply.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be afraid.¡± Song Yu caressed his face.


    Yue Zhishi shook his head, a firm look in his eyes. ¡°Whenever I think about how you¡¯ve passed so many years like this, I feel so distressed. My heart hurts so much it doesn¡¯t even have room to be afraid.¡± Very straightforwardly, very honestly, he said, ¡°You don¡¯t have to be worried about me leaving you because I¡¯m afraid either ¡ª I won¡¯t do that. The days where you struggled by yourself won¡¯t come back again.¡±


    ¡°Do you remember my fortune stick?¡± Yue Zhishi tilted his head.


    Song Yu gave him a very faint smile. ¡°Let nature run its course.¡±


    That fortune was actually his.


    ¡°Yes. We¡¯ll face the future together.¡±


    Worried he¡¯d be late, Yue Zhishi retreated from Song Yu¡¯s arms and urged him to leave. But at the very last moment, Song Yu said, ¡°Call me again.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡± Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t understand. ¡°Song Yu?¡±


    ¡°Call me gege.¡± Song Yu raised an eyebrow.


    For some inexplicable reason, Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart sped up. He was all too familiar with those two words, but being asked to say them at this very moment ¡ª there were a very subtle feeling added to those words.


    ¡°Gege¡­¡± he said softly, head lowered.


    Song Yu took ahold of his waist, the buckle on his belt pushing against Yue Zhishi¡¯s lower belly. Their chests pressed together, and Song Yu rewarded him with a kiss full of possessiveness and yearning, as well as rough breathing, damp and hot.


    ¡°Be good and wait for me to come back.¡±


    Yue Zhishi blankly stood there for a while, his eyes chasing after Song Yu as he drove out and lingering all the way until he couldn¡¯t see his car anymore. After going back up into the apartment, he couldn¡¯t fall back asleep at all ¡ª so, like a qualified partner in love, he cleaned up the entire place for Song Yu before Nan Jia notified him of a meeting. He then changed his clothes and went to campus.


    Because of Nan Jia¡¯s help, the law school moved very quickly this year. It announced who passed the preliminary round very early and called up all of the students who would be representing the school in the competition for a meeting. It was very obvious the school hoped for a decent performance this time in order to wipe away its previous history.


    Even though he¡¯d known in advance that he¡¯d passed the preliminary round, Yue Zhishi was still a bit nervous and excited when he finally arrived at the meeting. He was the last one to arrive, and as expected, the girl who wore a hanfu last time was also present. The two of them greeted each other, and Yue Zhishi noticed she was a particularly introverted lady ¡ª he needed to ask twice before he could clearly hear her name. She was called Xiao Qi.


    ¡°I¡¯m Yue Zhishi.¡± He hadn¡¯t said much else before Xiao Qi nodded and said, ¡°I know, you¡¯re quite famous.¡±


    That was strange for Yue Zhishi, because he wasn¡¯t the type of person to have hordes of friends. The other three contestants were also there: one was a girl with short, dusty blue hair in a leather jacket. She was taller than Nan Jia, and she¡¯d come in carrying a black skateboard. She introduced herself with a simple, ¡°I¡¯m Qu Zhi.¡±


    There were two other guys. One was tall and sturdy with a very weak voice, and he seemed to always speak mournfully. His name was very interesting and was as sad as his person ¡ª he was called Zhou Yi. The final contestant was very skinny, and he wore a large orange hoodie that didn¡¯t fit him. ¡°I¡¯m Chen Bi, but everyone calls me Chen Pi.¡± He chewed on some gum, and as soon as he arrived, he started to praise and flirt with senior Nan Jia.


    Nan Jia told them to sit down, introducing the arts festival¡¯s clothing design competition rules with another senior sister. ¡°This year¡¯s event has been slightly changed. Each school¡¯s team has five people. You¡¯ve already met everyone in our team. We¡¯ll been given a relatively long time on the runway, so we¡¯ll need to make actual clothes for our models. We have a pretty long period of time to make those clothes, so there¡¯ll only be one round of competition. Everyone only needs to design one set of clothes for one theme.¡±


    That very cool-looking girl raised her hand. ¡°Senior, will the theme be assigned to us?¡±


    Nan Jia nodded. ¡°But not every school will have the same theme. The organisers have drafted up different themes this year, one for each school, and we¡¯ll be given our theme through random lottery.¡±


    Yue Zhishi frowned. ¡°So this competition also requires a bit of luck?¡±


    ¡°Something like that. There are definitely going to be both easy and difficult themes to design to.¡± Nan Jia shrugged. ¡°But there¡¯s nothing we can do about that, some themes are naturally going to be a bit more eye-catching.¡±


    The other senior sister added, ¡°Each theme requires three rounds during the actual runway show. We¡¯ll need everyone to design three sets of clothes, and the designs should have as much creative structure and organisation behind it as possible. It¡¯ll be easier to get high scores that way.¡±


    Fellow student Zhou Yi sighed, looking very mournful. He sat on his chair like an immovable mountain and said, ¡°But our school¡¯s not very good at this kind of thing. We only used to get participation awards.¡±


    On the other hand, Chen Pi was quite optimistic as he continued chewing his gum, and he looked more like an experienced competitor than Zhou Yi. ¡°We¡¯ll be fine, we¡¯re mainly here just to stir up the water a bit, right, senior?¡±


    Nan Jia opened her mouth, but before she could speak, cool girl Qu Zhi spoke first. ¡°If you want to stir up water, why didn¡¯t you go participate in the rowing competition?¡±


    Xiao Qi had kept silent the entire time, and she was nervously twisting her fingers together. Yue Zhishi saw that she¡¯d wanted to raise her hand a few times before weakly lowering it back down, so he asked her, ¡°Xiao Qi, do you have something you want to ask?¡±


    Everyone¡¯s gaze gathered onto Xiao Qi¡¯s thin and frail body, and they only saw her nervously swallow, eyes flickering around. Finally, she looked at Nan Jia. ¡°I¡­ I want to go to the bathroom.¡±


    ¡°Ay.¡± Chen Pi flopped back onto his desk.


    As the meeting went on, things didn¡¯t go quite as smoothly as Nan Jia had hoped. She was slightly anxious, so when the meeting finished, she stayed at the podium and gathered up all the papers and information she¡¯d placed there. ¡°Le Le, do you have something to do later? Come with me to the university hospital?¡±


    Yue Zhishi immediately felt worried, and he stood up from his seat. Before he could speak, he saw that girl called Qu Zhi walk up to the front with her skateboard. ¡°Senior, are you not feeling well?¡±


    ¡°Ah.¡± Nan Jia smiled, putting her papers into her bag. ¡°Just a light flu.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll go with you.¡± Pulling on his bag, Yue Zhishi prepared to head to the hospital with her. The tip of his tongue had been slightly torn a few days ago, but he hadn¡¯t really felt it; he¡¯d thought only his lip had been split. He¡¯d only realised Song Yu had used a bit too much force last time when he felt an ulcer stinging.


    ¡°I want to grab some medicine too.¡± He stood behind them and stuck out the tip of his tongue. He took a photo of it with his phone and magnified it, looking at that tiny white ulcer on his tongue. Then, in the spirit of criticism and reproach, he pulled up WeChat and sent the photo to Song Yu.


    [Le Le: Look.]


    Qu Zhi was standing at the podium, and she took out her phone. ¡°Senior, can I add your WeChat?¡±


    Naturally, Nan Jia didn¡¯t refuse and also pulled out her phone. ¡°Sure.¡± She opened her WeChat, giving the QR code for Qu Zhi to scan.


    ¡°Your skateboard¡¯s so cool.¡± Nan Jia lowered her head to look at the skateboard on the floor. There was a line of words printed at the top, and it looked like Spanish. ¡°I¡¯ve always wanted to learn how to skate, but I¡¯m a bit scared.¡±


    ¡°I can teach you.¡± Qu Zhi shook her phone. ¡°I¡¯ve added you, so you can look for me any time you want to learn.¡±


    The three of them prepared to leave, and Qu Zhi stepped on one end of the skateboard, the board flipping up. She nimbly caught it with a hand and followed them downstairs. Once they exited the building, she got onto the skateboard, looking entirely like she was about to leave.


    ¡°See you tomorrow.¡± Yue Zhishi waved a hand at her in goodbye, and she gave him a grin before looking at Nan Jia.


    She said, ¡°You can also look for me if you want someone to go with you to the doctor.¡±


    Nan Jia laughed very cheerfully. ¡°Will you take me there with a skateboard?¡±


    Qu Zhi also laughed. ¡°What about something with an engine? Certificate included.¡±


    She skated away once she finished speaking, her silhouette very fearless. Yue Zhishi watched Qu Zhi¡¯s figure for a little while, head tilted to the side, and then glanced at Nan Jia. He blinked twice. ¡°There¡¯s something I don¡¯t know if I should say.¡±


    Ridiculously amused, Nan Jia rushed to speak first. ¡°I also have something to say. You should cut your hair.¡±


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t look nice like this?¡± Yue Zhishi grabbed some of his hair. ¡°They all say I look more like I¡¯m mixed when my hair¡¯s longer.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean like you¡¯re mixed ¡ª you¡¯re mixed to begin with.¡± Nan Jia covered her face with a mask from her bag and sighed at Yue Zhishi. Maybe it was because she was sick, but for the first time, she exposed some weariness in front of Yue Zhishi. She usually looked like a superwoman. ¡°What should we do? I feel like the competition¡¯s not going to be any good this year. Other than you with your good personality and ability, the rest of our team seem to be indifferent, not quite right or hard to work with.¡±


    ¡°Not at all.¡± Yue Zhishi had an extremely positive mindset. ¡°Senior, I think this team of ours might actually end up doing fairly well.¡±


    Nan Jia smiled. ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because we¡¯re very similar.¡± Placing his two hands into his hoodie¡¯s pocket, Yue Zhishi gazed at the golden fallen leaves.


    ¡°One mournful, one mischievous. One small loli girl who looks so frail she wouldn¡¯t be able to withstand the wind, and one very modern, very unconventional cool girl. Once you add me in, our team is pretty much like one of those dark horse teams in manga ¡ª the ones that have other people looking down at them in the beginning before slapping their faces later. We¡¯re very much that classic example.¡±


    With an extremely carefree and confident look on his face, he patted Nan Jia¡¯s shoulder and said, ¡°We¡¯ll be fine. Trust me.¡±


    Nan Jia looked at his eyes, focusing on them for a good while, and then she finally shook her head. ¡°I understand now.¡±


    ¡°Understand what?¡±


    ¡°Why everyone likes you.¡± Nan Jia¡¯s eyes were like curved moons. ¡°Then I¡¯ll trust you. No problems, right?¡±


    Yue Zhishi smiled as brightly as the shining sun. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Akagi Haruko-chan.¡±


    His cellphone vibrated ¡ª Song Yu¡¯s reply.


    [Gege: Is this one of your seduction tactics?]


    The author has something to say:


    Song¨Cking of fantasising things with his brain¨CLSP¨CYu

 CH 71

    Chapter 71: Already Taken


    Even Yue Zhishi would feel a bit annoyed if he had been misunderstood under normal circumstances.


    But when it was Song Yu who¡¯d misunderstood him, he was more likely to feel something else ¡ª like his heart speeding up. Trying to explain, he sent Song Yu messages as he continued walking, and Nan Jia had to steer him around with his elbow in her hand, worried he¡¯d bump into someone.


    [Le Le: That¡¯s the wonderful thing you¡¯ve done. Both my lips and tongue are injured. My lips have scabbed over, but the wound on my tongue has turned into an ulcer.]


    After two seconds, he sent over another message.


    [Le Le: It really hurts.]


    He felt like he may have explained overly seriously, to the point where Song Yu didn¡¯t reply and only gave him a call straightaway. Yue Zhishi was in the doctor¡¯s consultation room with Nan Jia, and so he needed to leave, picking up Song Yu¡¯s phone call in the busy corridor.


    Hearing Song Yu¡¯s voice, Yue Zhishi completely forgot about how Song Yu had misunderstood him. Song Yu asked him if his tongue really hurt; he said it didn¡¯t, as though he hadn¡¯t actually sent through that message just then at all.


    ¡°Is it really cold where you are?¡± Yue Zhishi was talking on the phone while facing the wall, looking like he had been forced to stand there in punishment.


    ¡°Mn.¡±


    ¡°Then make sure you don¡¯t get sick. Senior Nan Jia¡¯s already gotten sick.¡± Yue Zhishi lay his forehead against the wall. ¡°There¡¯s heaps of people at the hospital.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re with her at the hospital?¡± The tone of Song Yu¡¯s voice shifted very distinctively.


    Yue Zhishi nodded, his head still facing the wall. ¡°Yes. We just finished a meeting together, and I needed to get some medicine for my mouth ulcer anyway. I don¡¯t like going to the hospital by myself. It¡¯s like eating hotpot alone ¡ª it feels too pitiful.¡±


    ¡°Does it?¡± Song Yu seemed to release an extremely obvious and extremely abrupt sigh at the phone, but Yue Zhishi was like a little dog, keenly catching notice of it. Before he could ask, Song Yu spoke again, his words now not quite matching up with what they were talking about before. ¡°The people who welcomed us just said it¡¯ll be very cold here at night.¡±


    Yue Zhishi frowned. ¡°Doesn¡¯t the northwest region have central heating? Why won¡¯t they turn it on for you?¡±


    ¡°Not everyone has central heating yet.¡± Song Yu then said, on purpose, ¡°Hopefully the blankets are thicker.¡± That kind of wishful words sounded extraordinarily out of place coming out of his mouth.


    With just a few simple sentences, Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart was stirred up ¡ª he very nervously asked a whole bunch of questions, worrying about this and worrying about that. If someone didn¡¯t know what was happening, they might think Song Yu¡¯d gotten some kind of incurable disease.


    ¡°You can pour some hot water into a glass bottle and then leave it under your blankets. You¡¯ll be a lot warmer like that but make sure you don¡¯t burn yourself. Ah, wait, you can¡¯t casually pour hot water into glass bottles, they can shatter really easily and hurt you. Plastic water bottles will warp, but maybe you should buy one¡­¡±


    Song Yu softly chuckled, and Yue Zhishi suddenly froze. He found himself really ridiculous ¡ª Song Yu was clearly someone so independent, and yet he was giving him advice like an elder on how to keep warm.


    ¡°Are you laughing at me?¡± Yue Zhishi stared at his feet.


    ¡°I¡¯m missing you,¡± Song Yu honestly said. It came out cleanly and straightforwardly, compared to  how he¡¯d gone in circular and winding paths earlier just to beg for Yue Zhishi¡¯s care.


    ¡°Your body temperature seems to be a bit higher than mine,¡± Song Yu continued to say, as though the previous hypothetical scenario were real. ¡°If I slept with you in my bed at night, then you might be even more useful than a hot water bottle or a heating pad.¡±


    ¡°I think the word ¡®useful¡¯ is too pragmatic, senior Song Yu.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice sounded slightly dissatisfied ¡ª he even changed the way he called Song Yu.


    ¡°Then let me change it.¡± Song Yu¡¯s low and deep voice wasn¡¯t cool and indifferent; it carried a faint, seemingly nonexistent amusement. ¡°Junior brother, I want to sleep with you in my arms.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s ears suddenly felt a bit warm. He didn¡¯t know why, but even the innocent greetings of ¡®senior¡¯ and ¡®junior brother¡¯ could make him blush ¡ª even though it was him who said it first.


    He was quiet for a few seconds, and Song Yu was also very peaceful on his side of the phone. Nan Jia came out from the consultation room, lightly closing the door. Yue Zhishi rapidly said he needed to hang up now, remember to eat and sleep early.


    But Song Yu seemed to drag things out on purpose, continuing to speak; he was just like a cat who kept batting at him with its paws because it wasn¡¯t willing to let its owner play games.


    ¡°What should I do if I can¡¯t fall asleep?¡±


    ¡°If you can¡¯t sleep¡­¡± Yue Zhishi met Nan Jia¡¯s eyes as soon as he raised his head. She seemed to be smiling at him, teasing, and it made him clutch the ends of his hair in some embarrassment.


    ¡°You can call me if you can¡¯t sleep.¡± He lowered the volume of his voice and whispered three words: I¡¯ll coax you.


    Only then did Song Yu stop his little prank. ¡°Mn. Go, then.¡±


    After releasing its paws, the cat haughtily turned away, waving its tail slowly and leisurely.


    Delicately tutting, Nan Jia came over once Yue Zhishi hung up his phone. Her face was covered by a mask, and with her hands behind her back, she leaned in closely and intentionally asked, ¡°Who are you coaxing?¡±


    Yue Zhishi guiltily shoved his phone into his pocket and pulled up the hood on his sweatshirt. ¡°¡­my cat.¡±


    Nan Jia nodded in deep, meaningful understanding. ¡°So you¡¯re owned by a cat.¡± She patted Yue Zhishi¡¯s back and emotionally sighed, ¡°Life is truly difficult. You¡¯re so young, yet you¡¯re already taken.¡±


    Yue Zhishi also pulled up the zipper for his outer jacket in one motion and took Nan Jia¡¯s arm, tugging her downstairs. ¡°Let¡¯s go get our medicine, senior.¡±


    ¨C


    The competition was truly not as simple as they¡¯d thought.


    Other than the time he spent in class and finishing his homework, Yue Zhishi spent his days cramming all the knowledge he could find about clothing design. This might be a one-time activity a lot of people thought was important to participate in, but Yue Zhishi still very much wanted to complete it well ¡ª even though some other people thought it was a large waste of time.


    They all gathered together again for a meeting at midday Wednesday. This time, Nan Jia told them all the news she¡¯d managed to collect. One piece of news was that the number of models needed for this year¡¯s competition was around thirty to fifty, and the models must come from their university and could not be hired professional models. Another news was that their designed clothing could be made through the help of factories.


    Both those news were not beneficial to them. If models were required to be their fellow students, then that meant they needed to fight over students with good looks. If they were allowed to use external methods, then that meant Xu Lin from the journalism and communications school would have a special advantage.


    And then the worst piece of news: one of the judges invited to the finals was a classmate of Xu Lin¡¯s mother, and they had a particularly close relationship.


    ¡°I feel like we¡¯re the cannon fodder for all the cannon fodders.¡± After finishing their meeting, the team decided to eat lunch together. Zhou Yi was moving slowly through the packed crowds with his tray of food. ¡°I don¡¯t even know if we¡¯ll be able to scrape up a model from somewhere.¡±


    Chen Pi took a sip of the hot soy milk he¡¯d just bought and sighed. ¡°We¡¯ll just lower our standards a bit. If other people are looking for someone 180cm tall, then we¡¯ll look for someone 175cm. Right, senior sister.¡±


    Nan Jia had only ordered a bowl of porridge, her appetite not too well. She brought them around until they found an empty long table and said, ¡°It¡¯ll be fine. You guys don¡¯t need to worry about the models, I¡¯m the manager for the basketball team. There are plenty of long arms and long legs in there.¡±


    ¡°Wow.¡± Chen Pi said in quite an exaggerated manner, ¡°Being the basketball team¡¯s manager is too cool. I watched Slam Dunk when I was a kid, and I loved Akagi Haruko. Senior, there definitely must be a bunch of people in the team chasing after you, right?¡±


    Yue Zhishi had just put a piece of watermelon into his mouth, and with his cheek bulging out, he cut in and said, ¡°Not just the basketball team¡­¡±


    Qu Zhi suddenly opened her mouth, having kept silent the entire time. She said, ¡°So senior is currently single and can be pursued.¡±


    Her short dusty blue hair was tied up into a simple little ponytail behind her head, and she wore a black baseball cap, the shadow from the brim making the look in her eyes appear even deeper.


    ¡°Yeah.¡± Nodding, Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t really notice much other meaning to her words and very innocently said something rather cold-hearted. ¡°She¡¯s so single she needed me to go with her to the doctor.¡±


    Nan Jia twisted her head over and glared at Yue Zhishi. ¡°So you didn¡¯t actually want to go with me?¡± And then after a while, she intentionally put on a look of dawning understanding. ¡°Ah, that¡¯s right, since I¡¯m not as cute as a cat.¡±


    Yue Zhishi almost choked on his watermelon and coughed for a long time.


    Xiao Qi, who¡¯d been very quiet, stared at Yue Zhishi and Nan Jia with wide eyes. She bit the ends of her chopsticks and abruptly said in a soft voice, ¡°So you guys don¡¯t have that kind of relationship.¡±


    Nan Jia broke into laughter. ¡°No, we¡¯re like brother and sister.¡±


    Everyone ate while they continued to chat, but Nan Jia didn¡¯t really eat much of her porridge. Yue Zhishi asked if she wanted to have some of his food; Nan Jia said she wanted to have some hot soup and got up, preparing to go buy some. Qu Zhi, who was sitting across from them, stood up faster. ¡°I¡¯ll go. Is soup with rice noodles okay?¡± She grabbed the meal card on the table. Yue Zhishi saw that her fingers were very long, skin very pale; her nails were cut very short and looked very clean.


    ¡°Ah, that¡¯s fine.¡± Nan Jia didn¡¯t really want to bother her. ¡°Maybe I should go myself.¡±


    ¡°You need to rest more if you¡¯re sick.¡± Qu Zhi stepped over the bench behind her in one smooth move. Her eyes were very beautiful, and her features were bold and fearless. She didn¡¯t have much expressions on her face as she talked, but from beginning to end, she gazed at Nan Jia¡¯s face. ¡°Anything you don¡¯t eat?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Nan Jia was also looking at her.


    Yue Zhishi felt like he sensed something ¡ª something very profound.


    Qu Zhi had just strode away when the sound of very exaggerated laughter drifted to them from not too far away. It was getting closer, and as soon as Yue Zhishi looked up, he actually saw Xu Lin from the journalism school.


    He was still the same as the first time Yue Zhishi saw him, surrounded and escorted by a crowd of people like he was the bright moon circled by a bunch of lesser stars. He wasn¡¯t wearing that ridiculous pair of orange glasses this time, but he wore an extremely conspicuous, red duijin jacket. His hair was also styled with particular care. Xu Lin saw Yue Zhishi immediately, and then he walked over in his direction with his admirers.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t that the guy from the journalism school?¡± Chen Pi glanced at him with his eyes squinted together. ¡°Anyone know him?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ve met.¡± Yue Zhishi had just finished speaking when Xu Lin sat down at their long table.


    ¡°Hi, Mixed Sweetheart,¡± Xu Lin flamboyantly greeted Yue Zhishi, his two hands in his pockets. ¡°I especially went to look at your school¡¯s list of contestants. Not bad, you actually managed to get in.¡±


    The tone of his voice didn¡¯t sound all that sincere, but to someone like Yue Zhishi who had a high threshold for people, it wasn¡¯t really that annoying. Which is why he very casually nodded and said, ¡°Yup. What about you?¡±


    It was like his counter question instantaneously stabbed right into Xu Lin¡¯s lungs. ¡°Wait, is there something wrong with you? You¡¯re actually asking me?¡±


    The people behind him also released laughter filled with disbelief.


    ¡°That was nothing more than a question asked out of courtesy.¡± Yue Zhishi gave him a very good-looking smile and stretched out a very friendly hand to Xu Lin.


    Xu Lin was slightly confused by his movement, and he even shifted backwards. ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    Thinking he was a bit stupid, Yue Zhishi took his hand and shook it with his own. ¡°This is also courtesy. I¡¯m very happy to have become your opponent.¡±


    Xu Lin started to ponder whether Yue Zhishi was truly happy or whether he¡¯d said it out of courtesy once again. He felt like this person was super strange ¡ª what a waste of that beautiful face and great figure. He cleared his throat. ¡°You better be happy.¡±


    He wasn¡¯t planning on eating there, so he stood back up, looking back down at Yue Zhishi with some pride. ¡°Since you¡¯re going to lose quite terribly.¡±


    The rest of the people sitting at that table wasn¡¯t happy at his words, but Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t really care ¡ª he felt like being stomped on was how the main character was usually treated.


    ¡°But if you change your mind and want to be a model, I wouldn¡¯t mind if you came and begged me.¡± Xu Lin looked in all four directions a bit stiffly, everywhere except in Yue Zhishi¡¯s direction. ¡°You should be able to get my WeChat really easily if you ask around.¡±


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t hold back his laughter.


    ¡°What are you laughing at!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re remarkably interesting.¡± It took a lot of effort for Yue Zhishi to stop laughing. ¡°Seriously.¡±


    Xu Lin rushed away, almost knocking into Qu Zhi with her tray of food as soon as he turned around. Qu Zhi was wearing a pair of Doc Martens boots, and she was almost taller than him; she had a very strong aura around her.


    ¡°Why is the law school using models as designers, how stupid,¡± he cursed under his breath, leaving unhappily.


    Even though Xu Lin appeared very weird, every single person sitting there knew he was a strong opponent with both talent and resources. He could be called the major focus of attention for this year¡¯s competition. Zhou Yi continued to say sad and gloomy things, and he dragged Chen Pi down with him.


    ¡°I have a good feeling about this ¡ª everything will definitely go smoothly,¡± Yue Zhishi said.


    But this time, his ¡®good feeling¡¯ failed again and again.


    The lottery drawing for the competition was announced for 6pm, and the announcement came about very spontaneously. The time clashed with an elective course for first year law students, and so they could only rush over during the class break. They arrived last, and only one draw remained. It was still technically a random draw, but it didn¡¯t feel very encouraging.


    Qu Zhi opened the envelope. Her face was calm, but she didn¡¯t look too happy.


    ¡°Rain.¡± She showed them the slip of paper.


    ¡°Rain?¡± Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know if this could be considered as a good theme or not. He actively went around, asking the other people in the classroom about what they¡¯d been given; intelligence gathering wasn¡¯t something pleasant to do to begin with, but they let Yue Zhishi see their themes fairly easily because it was him who asked.


    He learned that a school managed to draw ¡®ocean¡¯ while another had ¡®the future¡¯. And the journalism and communications school they were all afraid of ¡ª in a large stroke of luck, they drew ¡®millennium¡¯. It was an eye-catching theme that innately allowed for innovative designs.


    After learning of this particular piece of intelligence, their team sunk into an even lower creative state of mind. They even needed to return back to their grand auditorium for class now that they¡¯ve drawn their theme, with the class running until 9:30pm.


    It was already 11pm by the time he finished showering and cleaning up. Yue Zhishi sat at his desk and opened his laptop, attempting to record some inspiration. At least now that they had their theme, he had a general direction of where to turn his brain.


    As soon as the word ¡®rain¡¯ appeared in his mind, all the images he envisioned were particularly real: the rainy days he¡¯d gone through as a child while being piggybacked; the small store they¡¯d stayed in to hide from the rain; a transparent umbrella; the borrowed back he¡¯d depended on during thunderous rain. Almost all of them were related to Song Yu.


    Many, many emotions were born during the rain.


    And as luck would have it, his phone lit up with a special ringtone. Yue Zhishi opened his phone swiftly and saw a message sent from Song Yu.


    [Gege: I¡¯ve been outside the whole day today. Frozen stiff.]


    He sent over a photo of his hands, red from the cold.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart squeezed. The people in his dorm were still playing games, so he immediately gave him a call.


    Song Yu¡¯s voice was still very steady, and he told Yue Zhishi he was already under his blankets ¡ª except he couldn¡¯t really fall asleep.


    ¡°Then¡­¡± Yue Zhishi hesitated for around five seconds. ¡°I¡¯ll read a book to you.¡±


    Song Yu hummed in agreement and then said, ¡°If it¡¯s criminal legislation, then forget about it.¡±


    ¡°I won¡¯t recite that stuff.¡± Yue Zhishi searched through the books on his table with his eyes and felt like there wasn¡¯t anything suitable. He then abruptly remembered ¡ª he crouched down and pulled out a box of stuff he¡¯d packed and brought over that day he¡¯d returned home for his birthday. He searched through the things inside and slid out an old-looking book, yellowed anime stickers plastered all over its cover.


    He hugged the small book to his chest somewhat self-consciously as he left his dorm, and he crouched down again once he reached the end of his floor. Turning on his phone torch, he aimed it at the diary. Very few people walked through here, and there was no dorm room across from him ¡ª he wouldn¡¯t disturb anyone.


    Wind came from a hole somewhere, chilling Yue Zhishi¡¯s ankles, but he felt like this kind of temperature was nothing compared to the hardship Song Yu was currently going through.


    ¡°What are you going to read?¡± Song Yu asked again.


    ¡°My diary.¡± Yue Zhishi flipped open a page and wasn¡¯t too happy when he realised there wasn¡¯t much of a reaction from the other end of the phone. ¡°Aren¡¯t you excited? I brought this from home specifically in order to fulfil your request. It¡¯s from third year of elementary school. The diary¡¯s finally useful.¡±


    Song Yu laughed. ¡°No, I¡¯m just a bit surprised.¡±


    How could he have thought Yue Zhishi would¡¯ve taken his request so seriously.


    Clearing his throat, Yue Zhishi randomly chose a short passage and read it out. ¡°September 12th, rainy. Today I ate a chocolate ice cream. A classmate bought it for me, but gege said I can¡¯t casually eat things other people give me. So I was very scared when I ate it.¡±


    He himself wanted to laugh as he read it, but he held himself back and continued, ¡°After I finished sneakily eating it, I waited outside gege¡¯s classroom for him to finish school. But he was unhappy as soon as he saw me and asked me what I ate. How did he know? I only found out after I got home and looked at myself in the mirror. There was chocolate all over my face.¡±


    Song Yu chuckled and said, his voice very tender, ¡°Too dumb.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t use your current brain to laugh at a little third year student,¡± Yue Zhishi solemnly refuted for himself. ¡°Third years don¡¯t understand anything, okay?¡±


    He turned to the next page. The entry was very short, only two lines. Without thinking about it, he recited the opening, ¡°September 13th, sunny¡­¡±


    Song Yu patiently waited for a few seconds after Yue Zhishi abruptly stopped talking. When there was still nothing coming, he couldn¡¯t help but ask, ¡°And then?¡±


    ¡°And then¡ª¡± Yue Zhishi stared at the row of characters written in a crooked, childish scrawl. He straightened himself and honestly said, ¡°I don¡¯t want to say.¡±


    ¡°Do you want me to stay awake the whole night?¡± Song Yu asked.


    ¡°All right.¡± Yue Zhishi yielded rather unwillingly, and there was a touch of sulkiness in his voice, utterly matching the words he read out.


    ¡°Why does everyone in television dramas have a girlfriend? Gege can¡¯t have a girlfriend. Can¡¯t gege like only me?¡±


    After those words left his mouth, he let out an ¡®ah¡¯ and buried his face into his lap in despair. All of the lights in the corridor were now on.


    Song Yu lightly laughed; his voice was low and deep, and yet it sounded like it was floating. ¡°Third year prophet, I can.¡±

 CH 72

    Chapter 72: To Fall Sick from Yearning


    After being given their theme, the law school¡¯s design team came together many times to discuss ideas.


    They pulled together numerous photos that had to do with rain, as well as any related designs and runway shows in the fashion industry. Chen Pi was a particularly attentive and careful person despite all his talk of ¡®stirring up water¡¯ ¡ª he secretly inquired about all the possible judges who could appear and looked up their previous works in order to examine their preferences.


    ¡°I¡¯ve organised all of our previous inspiration and rough drafts into this little booklet.¡± Xiao Qi walked over meekly and gave everyone a small book.


    Yue Zhishi was currently immersed in his thoughts, but he still shot her an appreciative smile as soon as he saw what she was giving him. ¡°You¡¯re awesome.¡±


    Even though Xiao Qi still spoke softly and weakly, she did things more confidently after being encouraged.


    ¡°I feel like our designs need to lean towards the soft, graceful style. A bit more ¡®celestial heavenly being¡¯.¡± Zhou Yi shuffled the sketches he had next to him. ¡°Yup. Since whenever I think of rain, I always think of the misty, smoky rain in the area south of the Yangtze River.¡±


    ¡°That style¡¯s too outdated now.¡± Qu Zhi expressed her opinion very straightforwardly. ¡°If we design to that style, then we¡¯ll bump into the team with the ¡®Chinese traditional wear¡¯ theme.¡±


    Zhou Yi gloomily said, okay. Xiao Qi then cautiously raised her hand. ¡°Then, what about if we start from fabrics?¡±


    ¡°Fabrics? Stuff like polyester and nylon?¡± Chen Pi asked, twirling a pen.


    Xiao Qi very rapidly sketched a rough design on her drawing paper and showed it to them. It was a long dress, and the bustle was replaced with the Chinese pavilions usually drawn on ancient Chinese umbrellas. ¡°For example, we could use oilskin or a similar fabric on the dress as an embellishment¡­¡±


    Qu Zhi nodded. ¡°We could also use nylon or transparent plastic materials to design a raincoat-like suit. It should look pretty fashionable.¡±


    ¡°But if we do that¡­¡± Nan Jia pulled out a tiny query. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t our theme diverge from rain to umbrella? And I still can¡¯t see a clear structure to our designs. I feel like all of the ideas everyone¡¯s been giving out ¡ª like using the fabric and structure of umbrellas, the colour and texture of rainwater or people¡¯s psychological feelings during the rain ¡ª all of those ideas lean more towards our final presentation of our collection.¡±


    Zhou Yi scratched his head as well. ¡°There¡¯s no thread running through them. The ideas are all very scattered around.¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± Nan Jia pointed out something rather important. ¡°If the fashion show requires three rounds, then there should be at least three different secondary concepts linked to our main theme. Or else we¡¯ll be really disadvantaged during the actual show.¡±


    ¡°Our theme doesn¡¯t have an exact scope to it like the ¡®millennium¡¯ or ¡®Chinese traditional wear¡¯ themes anyway. It¡¯ll be really hard to have a concept for each of the three rounds in our collection.¡± Releasing a very loud sigh, Chen Pi found their theme more and more troublesome. ¡°Ah, I¡¯m so annoyed. Let¡¯s just destroy everything.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was focused on flipping through that the little booklet, and he stood out for being so quiet during the discussion. He stared at some of the sketches they¡¯d drawn before, and realised both Xiao Qi and Zhou Yi¡¯s designs tended to be rather traditional, presenting the lasting appeal of Chinese culture; their works had elements from water sleeves, oiled-paper umbrellas and bamboo hats. Chen Pi and Qu Zhi¡¯s works were clearly modern ¡ª perhaps even postmodern ¡ª with their nylon fabrics and elements made out of transparent plastic materials. Qu Zhi was especially so; a large majority of her designs were grey or black, and they were combined with bright, highly contrasted fluorescent green, blue and red colours. Her style was clear and distinctive.


    ¡°Were you designing to a cyberpunk aesthetic?¡± Yue Zhishi asked Qu Zhi, holding her sketches.


    Qu Zhi nodded. ¡°I felt like there was never-ending rain in cyberpunk works, and the rain would always be dark, heavy drizzle.¡± She then looked at the designs in front of Yue Zhishi ¡ª they were all very disconnected. ¡°Is it hard to integrate everything together? I feel like everyone¡¯s design preferences are too different.¡±


    ¡°Why don¡¯t we just directly let everyone design to their own styles,¡± Chen Pi suggested. ¡°Like Qu Zhi can do a cyberpunk set and Xiao Qi can make a gentle, traditional set with Zhou Yi. And then we can just design the last set with something else.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s too casual,¡± Zhou Yi said, his voice low and very soft.


    ¡°I think so too, but if we really can¡¯t link everything together, then we might as well separate them into three sections. It¡¯ll be fine if there¡¯s some connection among them.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was reclining on top of his desk, listening to everyone with his eyes closed. The word ¡®rain¡¯ was brought up again and again, and it brought forth his memories again and again, from three years old to nineteen ¡ª from the past to now.


    Past, present.


    ¡°Wait.¡± Opening his eyes, Yue Zhishi raised his head, his light-coloured pupils shining under the lights. ¡°I have an idea.¡±


    He stood up as he talked, circling out of his desk to the whiteboard, and stuck everyone¡¯s disorderly rough drafts onto the board with magnets ¡ª from Zhou Yi¡¯s water sleeves and straw rain capes to Xiao Qi¡¯s bamboo pavilion umbrella dress, his and Chen Pi¡¯s modern style drawings and finally, Qu Zhi¡¯s postmodern cyberpunk.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t this actually a continuous timeline?¡± Yue Zhishi turned his face towards the group. ¡°Rain runs through all times. To say it differently ¡ª no matter how eras change and transform, rain will always fall.¡±


    ¡°The times of rain!¡± Pleasant surprise covered Nan Jia¡¯s face. ¡°I think it¡¯s a pretty good idea to have time be the thread running through all these different design styles.¡± She¡¯d even thought about what kind of background and music they could use during their show. ¡°If we follow this order, we can use traditional Chinese instruments like guzheng and dizi in the beginning, and then transition to futuristic electronic music at the end.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s super cool.¡± Qu Zhi agreed with her thoughts with a short sentence.


    Yue Zhishi continued on. ¡°If we use ¡®time¡¯ in the first round, then in the second round, I think we can use ¡®space¡¯ as a parallel design concept.¡±


    Xiao Qi timidly asked, ¡°Space as in different countries?¡±


    ¡°Won¡¯t the scope be too narrow if we limit it to countries?¡± Qu Zhi pressed down the end of her ballpoint pen. ¡°If we¡¯re using ¡®space¡¯, then we should think larger, more widely.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded very quickly. ¡°Yes, I just remembered that when rain falls in different places, it¡¯s never exactly the same.¡± He tried describing it to everyone. ¡°If rain falls on a lake, it¡¯ll show up as dotted, spreading ripples. If it falls on car windows, it¡¯ll turn into transparent lines. If it falls onto an umbrella, sometimes it¡¯ll condense into beads of water.¡±


    ¡°Clouds and lakes, the grasslands and leaf tips seeping with rainwater ¡ª rain will fall on all of them. We can utilise these different places to create rain¡¯s sense of space. We can combine this part with creative uses of fabric materials. If we can simulate ¡®space¡¯ with both our techniques and fabrics, then I think we¡¯ll be able to get extra points in terms of designing.¡±


    He initially didn¡¯t think much of it after saying everything in one go, but when Yue Zhishi realised everyone was staring at him, he was a bit embarrassed. He lifted a hand, ruffling his hair, and turned back to his usual goodnatured self. Very lightly, he released an ¡®ah¡¯ and said, ¡°That¡¯s just some of my very immature thoughts.¡±


    The words had just left his mouth when Chen Pi started clapping his hands like a seal in an aquarium. ¡°Fucking awesome!¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not mature? Then my thoughts were in kindergarten,¡± Zhou Yi forlornly said.


    Everyone broke into laughter.


    ¡°Time and space. Both of these focal points are impressive. As expected of you, Le Le, your idea during the preliminary round was also very unique.¡± Nan Jia recorded down the notes. ¡°Leave the runway design to me ¡ª no matter if it¡¯s the music or the lighting, I¡¯ll do my best for you guys.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s still the last round.¡± After being cheerful for a few moments, a bit of mournfulness leaked out of Zhou Yi once again. ¡°The first two concepts are both so good; there¡¯s going to be a lot of pressure on the third one.¡±


    Xiao Qi also slightly nodded. ¡°And, and it also needs to elevate the main theme¡­ So hard, how are we meant to elevate ¡®rain¡¯?¡±


    That truly was something incredibly hard to do.


    The meeting was temporarily paused since everyone had compulsory classes in the afternoon. It was already a very difficult breakthrough to have confirmed the design concepts for two out of their three fashion show rounds ¡ª at least with those two concepts, a few people on their team could now start their initial drafts.


    Nan Jia was still sick despite taking some medicine. She even had a fever, but this time, Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t get the opportunity to go to the doctor with her; Qu Zhi went with her instead.


    But she didn¡¯t bring her motorcycle, and this left Yue Zhishi extremely disappointed ¡ª he¡¯d really wanted to see it.


    After attending an entire day¡¯s worth of classes, plus the design meeting during the lunch break period, Yue Zhishi felt like his entire body had been hollowed out. He knocked into a corner of the fire extinguisher box in the corridor very carelessly as he came out of his classroom, and his leg only started to ache once he was on Cherry Blossom Avenue.


    Looking out at this familiar road, he thought of that day he came to Wuhan U to visit Song Yu ¡ª he thought of that little koi fish he¡¯d accidentally stepped on and wondered if it¡¯d managed to return back to its pond.


    Yue Zhishi hoped it could rain heavily tonight, so that he could stand under it and be given some inspiration. But the rain never fell, and he started to miss Song Yu more as the day went on.


    Yue Zhishi had a poor appetite as he ate dinner in the cafeteria; he¡¯d only eaten half a bowl of plain porridge before he typed a message to Song Yu.


    [Le Le: I suggested a very decent idea, and everyone happily accepted it. Now we¡¯ve settled on the design concepts for the first two rounds, and we can now start the next step of our work!]


    Before he sent it out, he deleted the words ¡®very decent¡¯ and ¡®happily¡¯ ¡ª just so he wouldn¡¯t sound that proud of himself.


    He felt like he was like a little puppy waiting at home after his owner had left for work, wanting to show off everything he¡¯d done to his owner. If a little puppy could send messages, then it was highly likely to excitedly type out something along the lines of ¡®I ran around in circles three times today with a toy in my mouth¡¯ while wagging its tail.


    Song Yu was a good owner. He replied to Yue Zhishi very quickly, praising him for being so amazing.


    It was clearly only two words, and yet Yue Zhishi was giddy from happiness. While his face was still warm, he sent over a ¡®missing you¡¯ sticker of a sad little doggy curled outside a window.


    [Le Le: Can you send me a photo of you?]


    He knew Song Yu didn¡¯t like to take photos of his face, so Yue Zhishi quickly and deliberately added an extra sentence.


    [Le Le: It¡¯s fine too even if it¡¯s not a picture of your face. Anything is fine, I just really miss you and want to see you.]


    After sending that message off, Yue Zhishi put his phone down onto the table, screen down, and started to feel a bit excited. He belatedly realised a girl at a table not too far away seemed to looking at him, so he lowered his head awkwardly and had another spoonful of porridge.


    His phone vibrated just as he was swallowing. Yue Zhishi eagerly turned on his phone ¡ª Song Yu really did send him a photo.


    Song Yu truly didn¡¯t take a photo of his face. Instead of the face Yue Zhishi longed to see, the photo sent over was of Song Yu¡¯s hand.


    In the photo, Song Yu¡¯s thumb was covered by a fair amount of dirt and was unclean. His long, well-defined fingers were resting on a fixed leg of some kind of instrument, his veins faintly sticking out and wrist bones prominent. It obviously was a static photo, but Yue Zhishi felt like he could almost see those muscles and bones rising and falling along with the tugging of his joints underneath that thin layer of skin.


    The one thing that wasn¡¯t quite the same as usual was that Song Yu¡¯s fingers were slightly wet, not too dry, and were covered by a layer of something shimmering, smooth and greasy looking. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know why, but as he stared and stared, a peculiar feeling surged in his heart.


    Song Yu sent through another message, explaining the instrument.


    [Gege: This is a surveyor¡¯s level.]


    Yue Zhishi thought for a moment.


    [Le Le: What¡¯s on your hand?]


    [Gege: I just applied some lubricant on a few instruments.]


    [Gege: Hand¡¯s a bit dirty. Do I still have time to delete the photo?]


    Very quickly, Yue Zhishi typed [Don¡¯t delete it], his face slightly flushing.


    He felt like he was truly being really strange, sitting by himself at the cafeteria and having certain kinds of thoughts about a dirty hand. Having realised this, Yue Zhishi grabbed his unfinished porridge and left ¡ª downloading and saving that photo before doing so.


    The campus fell bit by bit into the dark fog of night, where people and their thoughts could slowly, gradually become hidden. After returning back to his dorm, Yue Zhishi took his drawing pens and the two sketchbooks Song Yu had previously bought for him and placed them into his schoolbag. And then, just in case, he also brought that diary he¡¯d yet to finish reading.


    ¡°Where are you going so late?¡± Jiang Yufan pushed open the door to their dorm, and just so happened to bump into Yue Zhishi as he was leaving. ¡°Overnight at an internet cafe again?¡±


    ¡°Mn¡­ something like that.¡±


    Song Yu had given Yue Zhishi the access card to the apartment very early on, telling him he could visit whenever he wanted, but Yue Zhishi had never gone by himself before. The road to the place had always felt quite short every time he sat in the passenger seat since he always arrived very quickly ¡ª but as he walked over, he realised: the journey was actually quite long, and the paths were somewhat winding and confusing. Yue Zhishi walked for almost twenty minutes with his GPS before he finally found the small neighbourhood and arrived at the apartment building.


    Alone, he swiped the card and entered the elevator. After opening the door to the apartment, Yue Zhishi had the slight misconception that Song Yu would suddenly appear and embrace him in the entrance hallway.


    There was always a very pleasant smell on Song Yu¡¯s body. It was like a warm cover that completely surrounded Yue Zhishi.


    So when Song Yu wasn¡¯t around, it was as though one of Yue Zhishi¡¯s outer layers had been peeled off ¡ª he felt alone, and very cold.


    He turned on the lights and went upstairs to take a hot shower. When he came out, dressed in a robe, Yue Zhishi opened the closet and saw his and Song Yu¡¯s two sets of pyjamas. He hesitated, and then took out Song Yu¡¯s set of black silk, facing the mirror as he pulled it onto his body.


    The silk was a bit chilly as it touched his skin; it was just like Song Yu¡¯s forever cold fingertips, and it loosely draped down his body. His and Song Yu¡¯s differently sized bodies meant the pyjamas looked strangely unsuited on him ¡ª it no longer looked like a set of pyjamas, but rather more like a large, black cloth used to shroud things. It moved by itself, restlessly sliding down and exposing most of Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulders before he tugged it back up.


    The buttonholes on these pyjamas were tiny, Yue Zhishi realised, and they made it very hard for him to fasten the buttons. So with his snow-white chest uncovered, he stood in front of the mirror and one by one, slowly, pushed the buttons into those holes ¡ª his fingers shifted downwards inch by inch, until the fastened up shirt completely veiled his lower belly.


    He suddenly had a thought ¡ª it could be very hard to undo this set of pyjamas if Song Yu was wearing them.


    His cellphone abruptly vibrated on the desk, the noise echoing, and interrupted Yue Zhishi¡¯s imagination. He walked over to look at it; it was Song Yu.


    Song Yu had actually sent a message an hour earlier, asking Yue Zhishi to also send him a photo, but Yue Zhishi had been busy packing up and hadn¡¯t replied.


    So Song Yu sent him another message.


    [Gege: You¡¯re being very unfair.]


    Yue Zhishi found Song Yu¡¯s serious side particularly adorable, and it made him think of feeding Orange and Cotton Candy. If he gave Cotton Candy just a tiny bit more food, then Orange would be unhappy. He¡¯d use a paw and bat at Yue Zhishi¡¯s wrist as he was pouring out the dog food.


    But he didn¡¯t want Song Yu to know he was currently wearing his pyjamas; it was something very weird to do. His thoughts circled around, wondering what he should take a photo of, and Yue Zhishi¡¯s gaze finally settled on the legs he¡¯d yet to cover ¡ª or more precisely, his knee.


    He¡¯d only lightly bumped into the extinguisher, and it hadn¡¯t particularly hurt ¡ª but he only now realised his knee was already covered by a small bruise, a vague purple colour sweeping over his skin. His shower had also been too hot, so the water had flushed his skin pink.


    He sat down on the bed, his two pale and long legs bare, and in order to bring his knee closer to the camera, he brought up that specific leg until it was on tiptoes. His flexed calf muscles and pointed toes showed up in the photo as well.


    After sending off the photo, he didn¡¯t receive a reply for a very long time. Yue Zhishi put on his pyjamas pants and realised it was too long by an entire chunk; he kept stepping on them as he walked.


    Since Song Yu wasn¡¯t there, Yue Zhishi decided to secretly draw in his bed ¡ª that cleanliness obsessed person wouldn¡¯t know anyway. Yue Zhishi took out his sketchbooks and a pencil from his bag, squirrelling into Song Yu¡¯s blanket, and started to draw as he lay on his stomach.


    He roughly sketched out a few designs, but without much inspiration, he started to procrastinate. As he dithered around, he ended up flipping open an old sketchbook and looked over each page, the sketchbook filled with Song Yu. He¡¯d never earnestly considered it before, but now that he looked at it, he¡¯d truly drawn Song Yu¡¯s hands many times: his hand as it held a pen, his hands as he rode his bike ¡ª and even his hand carelessly dangling off the edge of his desk as he slept on crossed arms.


    Yue Zhishi found himself truly like a small dog. If Song Yu really did stretch out a hand to him, his first reaction might be to docilely give him his own.


    His second reaction would most likely be to lick his palm.


    He belatedly discovered that he was breathing a bit too hard. He remained cocooned in the blanket, but he pushed his face onto the drawing, his dry lips unconsciously rubbing against the cold paper.


    The cotton blanket was like a sponge swollen from water, saturated with Song Yu¡¯s scent; it was the familiar fragrance of his skin, as well as some indescribable hormones. Yue Zhishi lay inside, dressed in Song Yu¡¯s pyjamas, and it was as though Song Yu was pressing him down from behind, wrapping him up entirely.


    An invisible hand seemed to be clenched around his airways ¡ª it became incomparably hard to drag in his usual flow of oxygen. As Song Yu¡¯s face sharpened and became clearer in his mind, Yue Zhishi¡¯s breathing came faster and faster.


    He couldn¡¯t control his body¡¯s reaction.


    But Yue Zhishi firmly believed he currently wasn¡¯t hyperventilating from an attack ¡ª it was only his longing for Song Yu. Or perhaps both reasons applied: his yearning made him unable to control both his emotions and his breathing.


    Song Yu was like a robot with delayed responses. He sent over his reply to the photo of Yue Zhishi¡¯s bruised knee just as it wasn¡¯t convenient for Yue Zhishi to reach out a hand to check his notifications.


    [Gege: What happened?]


    [Gege: Did you take this kind of photo on purpose?]


    Yue Zhishi was panting, and after he stretched a hand out of the blanket to look at the messages, he gave up and didn¡¯t reply. He didn¡¯t understand what ¡®this kind of photo¡¯ meant.


    It was only two, three seconds, and then Song Yu called. Yue Zhishi would never reject it, even though he knew it currently wasn¡¯t an appropriate time.


    The call had just connected when Song Yu used a relatively calm tone of voice to repeat the question he¡¯d just asked. But Yue Zhishi realised the sound of his breathing was too loud, too urgent, and it almost completely overwhelmed Song Yu¡¯s voice.


    It was very hot inside the blanket, and he tried to control his breathing a bit, burying his head into the pillow Song Yu had previously slept on ¡ª except it backfired, and a layer of sticky sweat grew on his forehead. Breathy noises came out of Yue Zhishi¡¯s throat, and they were like the whimpering and panting noises of a small animal when sick.


    At first Song Yu thought something had happened ¡ª but those noises didn¡¯t sound like the noises he was familiar with when Yue Zhishi was sick.


    And so his voice subtly changed; it deepened, lowered, and it still sounded incredibly domineering despite being separated by space and radio waves.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, what are you doing?¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Both the dirty hand and bruised knee are so ( )~ sigh, this long-distance couple


    Not sick

 CH 73

    Chapter 73: Everyone is Equal


    Yue Zhishi continued to not speak. He started to pant even harder after hearing Song Yu¡¯s voice ¡ª he had no way to control it.


    The tip of his nose was pushed into the soft pillow, and the hot, humid air he exhaled out soaked the cotton fabric of the pillowcase and dampened his eyelashes.


    Song Yu wasn¡¯t speaking anymore.


    ¡°Gege¡­¡±


    Yue Zhishi hazily realised ¡ª whenever he was at his most fragile, he would still subconsciously call out that title. No matter how intentionally he avoided using it normally, his innate dependency on his older brother was unchangeable and irreplaceable.


    ¡°Hm?¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice was very low; it sounded steady and safe, the polar opposite of his.


    Yue Zhishi knew his current state was incredibly embarrassing, yet the lust in his heart only grew as soon as he heard Song Yu¡¯s voice.


    ¡°Can I hang up the phone¡­¡± he very quietly asked, suppressing his desire and gasps for air.


    ¡°You want to hang up?¡± Song Yu¡¯s deep voice resonated beautifully when it arrived at his ear. ¡°Where are you right now, tell me.¡±


    With great difficulty, Yue Zhishi said the two words of the apartment, and then he told him, holding back his pants, ¡°On your bed.¡±


    Song Yu was quiet for a few moments, and it made Yue Zhishi anxious ¡ª he really wanted to hang up the call, but contrarily enough, he also longed to hear Song Yu¡¯s voice. The mixture of pleasure with embarrassment was extraordinarily tormenting.


    ¡°Gege, can I hang up, I really don¡¯t feel well¡­¡±


    And yet Song Yu questioned him back very frankly, ¡°Aren¡¯t you thinking of me right now as you masturbate?¡±


    It was hard for Yue Zhishi to reply. He had no way to say he had this kind of reaction after seeing a photo of Song Yu¡¯s hand ¡ª it was just that simple, just that casual.


    ¡°I¡¯ll take your silence as you agreeing.¡± Song Yu asked again, ¡°Don¡¯t you want to hear my voice?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was forever unable to lie to Song Yu.


    ¡°I do¡­¡±


    ¡°Turn on your camera.¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice was a command.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s pants had still yet to subside, and they came even quicker after Song Yu¡¯s order. ¡°No, I want to hang up.¡±


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, you¡¯re not being a good boy.¡± When Song Yu directly called out his full name, it felt like it was grinding away the last bits of his shame.


    Faintly, Yue Zhishi could feel a certain feeling hidden in the depths of his heart suddenly collapse. He was like the dead leaves in autumn, crushed to pieces.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to be good,¡± he somewhat sulkily said, pressing the side of his fevered face onto the pillow and wishing the room had some more oxygen. His voice sounded a bit pitiful. ¡°Gege, don¡¯t you miss me¡­¡±


    Song Yu was silent for a few seconds, and then his voice turned husky. ¡°What do you think?¡±


    His voice was always so nice to listen to. Yue Zhishi thought there must be a hole in his heart; the thread cruelly left behind after stitching it up was placed in Song Yu¡¯s hand, and it uncomfortably pulled at his heart with the lightest tug.


    This felt a bit unfair, as though only he was suffering from lust¡¯s control. He whimpered just like an injured puppy, enveloped in the blanket. ¡°Gege, don¡¯t you ever have sexual desires¡­¡±


    Song Yu let loose a soft laugh, and it slid into Yue Zhishi¡¯s ears through his earbuds, goosebumps sprouting all over his back as he shivered.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, you¡¯re really so innocent.¡±


    ¡°Are your meds nearby?¡± Song Yu suddenly asked.


    Yue Zhishi glanced at the bedside table. ¡°Yes¡­¡±


    ¡°Pay attention to your reactions. Don¡¯t get too excited, or else it¡¯ll be really dangerous.¡±


    That sentence was clearly a reminder that he might suffer an attack, but under these circumstances, it sounded as though they were doing an erotic experiment.


    Song Yu¡¯s voice once again came through. ¡°Do you need help? Or should I hang up.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was slightly flustered at his question. ¡°Don¡¯t hang up¡­¡±


    ¡°Then turn on the camera.¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice was firm, but he very quickly added, ¡°I only want to see your face.¡±


    Yue Zhishi yielded ¡ª he was ensnared, and he dizzily pressed the button to turn on the camera. He left his phone on the pillow, the camera turned towards his face.


    It seemed to be very dark where Song Yu was, as though he was sitting in front of his laptop. He was even fully dressed, a black woollen turtleneck tightly wrapped around him all the way past his Adam¡¯s apple.


    He didn¡¯t adjust his camera; Yue Zhishi could only see Song Yu¡¯s thin lips and his jaw, as well as his broad shoulders and chest.


    Yue Zhishi turned his face to the other side in shame, wanting to hide from him.


    In his screen, Song Yu could see Yue Zhishi¡¯s pale yet flushed nape under his messy, scattered hair ¡ª he could also see that black mole. His body was imperceptibly twisting underneath his blanket.


    Song Yu was like a cold and indifferent robot, observing and investigating the level of Yue Zhishi¡¯s reactions and sexual behaviours at this very moment. ¡°Are you hard?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡± At first, Yue Zhishi was confused, sounding as though he didn¡¯t understand Song Yu¡¯s question, but he soon panted with a response. ¡°Yes¡­¡±


    Staring at his neck as it increasingly blushed, Song Yu asked a bit ruthlessly, ¡°Why did you get hard? Did you watch something you shouldn¡¯t have watched?¡±


    ¡°No, I just saw your hand¡­¡± He squirmed against the bedsheets, the back of his neck following along with his movements. ¡°Photo¡­¡±


    Song Yu paused; Yue Zhishi¡¯s breathing paused with him.


    ¡°My hands can get you excited?¡±


    ¡°Mn¡­¡± Releasing a large breath, he started to turn submissive and obedient under Song Yu¡¯s questioning. ¡°¡­.Yes.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s voice continued to enter his ears. There was no patient, gentle persuasiveness in it, only a cool and impersonal sound. ¡°Then do you react when I touch you?¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s breathing quickened, and a single needy noise came out of his nose in reply.


    ¡°Close your eyes,¡± Song Yu commanded. ¡°It won¡¯t be comfortable if it¡¯s too dry. Suck my fingers.¡±


    ¡°But my hand¡¯s really dirty. Do you mind?¡±


    He shook his head in a hurry, saying he didn¡¯t, and then took out a hand from the blanket and put it into his mouth.


    ¡°Turn around.¡±


    Yue Zhishi still struggled against this command. ¡°Mm¡­ no¡­¡±


    Song Yu stopped trying to force him. The wet, muffled noises that came from Yue Zhishi¡¯s sucking ¡ª it was also very nice to listen to vague and suggestive sounds.


    ¡°Make sure you get them very wet. Lick with the tip of your tongue.¡±


    He heard Song Yu remind him, ¡°Just like when you were sucking me. Understand?¡±


    That memory appeared without warning, and a layer of sweat covered Yue Zhishi¡¯s entire body, absorbed by the silk on his skin as though it was sucking clean every single one of his pores. ¡°Mm¡­¡±


    Spit trickled down from the corners of his mouth ¡ª his fingers were already completely drenched.


    ¡°Move your hand down,¡± Song Yu ordered, his voice calm.


    His brain muddled, Yue Zhishi did what he was told, and then he heard Song Yu tell him to imagine that it was his hand.


    ¡°My hand¡¯s around you now.¡±


    Song Yu was like a robot disturbed by hormones: the frequency of his waves started to waver, no longer as steady, and he praised Yue Zhishi through his own slight pants.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, you¡¯re so beautiful.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re also very adorable down there.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s face was incredibly warm, and he could only touch his cock according to Song Yu¡¯s instructions. This was something he¡¯d never been able to imagine before ¡ª he lay on the bed, face turned sideways, and he pulled in large breaths of air with his mouth open. Broken, unimportant words repeatedly spilled from his lips, and the pitch of every single word lilted upwards, faintly quivering; he moaned Song Yu¡¯s name in between his pants, his voice weak yet seductive.


    ¡°Gege¡­¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s voice was somewhat hoarse, as though he too couldn¡¯t get enough air.


    ¡°You like calling me gege in bed that much?¡±


    Everything he said seemed to step on Yue Zhishi¡¯s ashamed heart. His reason broke apart piece by piece, desire grabbing hold of his entire body ¡ª the face that had refused to turn to the camera was now completely buried into the pillow, slightly suffocated.


    The sound of Song Yu¡¯s voice attracted him like a magnet. ¡°Does it feel good to do these kind of things with gege?¡±


    He unknowingly turned his face towards the camera in his search for oxygen. His hair, wet from sweat, was plastered onto his forehead, and his cheeks were damp and crimson ¡ª it was like his entire person was soaked wet.


    ¡°Yes.¡± His eyes were closed, his thick eyelashes trembling; words of love for Song Yu stumbled from his slightly parted lips, and he kept saying he really liked him, really missed him. His gasps for air became more and more obvious, to the point even the pitch of his voice changed.


    With a lowered voice, Song Yu asked, ¡°Can I move faster?¡±


    ¡°Mm, yes.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s body was already slightly arching. ¡°Ge, hold me¡­¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± Song Yu started to sound a bit breathless. ¡°I¡¯m hugging you from the back.¡±


    ¡°Can you kiss me¡­¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s wet lips rubbed against the pillow, and he subconsciously stretched out a small part of his tongue before pulling it back in.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, you really know how to entice people.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s voice passed verdict on him, nailing him to desire¡¯s pillar of shame. ¡°Didn¡¯t you say before you wanted to be real brothers with me?¡±


    ¡°Can you do these things with your true older brother? Yue Zhishi.¡±


    Every time Song Yu called out his entire name, there was an overwhelming sense of oppression. He was about to suffocate, and yet Yue Zhishi lost himself in the boundaries between lust and morality.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t know?¡± Song Yu mercilessly lay bare the truth with his hoarse voice. ¡°It¡¯s not like you don¡¯t know. You¡¯re about to come just by what I¡¯m doing to you.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s no difference between the you right now and the you suffering from an attack. You can¡¯t even control your breathing.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s pants came even faster, Song Yu controlling everything he did. He feebly moved his hand on himself, weakly breathing in and breathing out ¡ª his entire body was sticky from sweat like a broken wind box completely dripping with honey.


    ¡°Medicine¡­¡± His thoughts started to tangle, making him think he actually was suffering from an attack.


    ¡°Medicine¡¯s useless,¡± Song Yu said to him in a gravelly voice. ¡°Only I can save you.¡±


    ¡°Save me, gege, save me.¡±


    ¡°How do you want me to save you?¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice remained cold, but it was blended with the sound of heavy breathing. He used the coldest voice to ask the most straightforward question. ¡°By fucking you?¡±


    ¡°Fuck¡­¡± Yue Zhishi sounded disoriented ¡ª he couldn¡¯t think, his mind utterly lost in his rapid, ragged breathing; suffering was accompanied by the pressure of pleasure, and he could only subconsciously repeat, ¡°Gege, fuck me¡­¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t give him a reply, and Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t endure it at all. His nipples were hard, and they grazed against the bedsheet, separated by the damp silk pyjamas. His whole body was almost at its limit ¡ª he could practically reach his peak just by hearing Song Yu¡¯s increasingly heavy breathing. His urgent gasps made him sound like he was hyperventilating, and so the only thing he could do was to open his mouth and drag in large gulps of air, glistening spit leaking from his mouth and slowly drenching the pillow.


    ¡°Hah¡­ gege¡­ I can¡¯t, I¡¯m about to come¡­¡± Yue Zhishi was about to come apart. He marginally cracked open his light-coloured eyes, and they were lost, covered by a layer of moisture. ¡°The bed¡¯s going to get dirty.¡±


    Even at the end, even as he watched Yue Zhishi utterly lose himself in sexual desire, Song Yu continued to act like a tolerant older brother. He gave out his final order.


    ¡°That¡¯s fine. Le Le, you¡¯re a very good boy. You can come.¡±


    In the midst of his almost suffocated breaths, he heard Song Yu say I love you ¡ª and then he came, mind an absolute blank. Like a kite with its string cut through, he was no longer bound; he floated in the sky even though he had no more energy left.


    Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t someone with a high sex drive; he even rarely touched himself, because he didn¡¯t feel the need to do so. He always looked at his feelings very purely, and the two times he¡¯d masturbated was because he missed Song Yu. He had almost no way of accepting what he¡¯d just done, and so he helplessly lay on the pillow in self defeat, not moving a single bit.


    Over at the phone, Song Yu saw that he seemed to have finished and was only bonelessly panting on the bed. He used a voice entirely different from before to call his nickname. ¡°Le Le.¡±


    He was very tender at this moment. ¡°Do you still feel unwell?¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head, still on his stomach. He didn¡¯t speak.


    ¡°I really want to hug you.¡± Song Yu was no longer acting like earlier, with the attitude that could wilfully control Yue Zhishi. ¡°You should be really soft right now, and really nice to hold.¡±


    He talked so pragmatically once again, but Yue Zhishi still didn¡¯t want to speak.


    His reason gradually recovered, and he was practically buried alive in shame. He couldn¡¯t understand why he became like that; he very clearly liked Song Yu in a very pure way.


    Song Yu keenly sensed the change in his emotions, so he asked what was wrong. ¡°Do you uncomfortable somewhere?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    Song Yu could tell Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice didn¡¯t sound quite right. He queried, ¡°Are you crying?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was immediately even more embarrassed with his thoughts exposed. The edges of his cheeks and ear that the camera could see were completely flushed red. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about me anymore. You should hurry and sleep.¡±


    ¡°Why are you crying?¡± Song Yu didn¡¯t plan on going away. ¡°Tell me, or else I won¡¯t be able to sleep.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want Song Yu to lose sleep because of him, so he still gave up after a bit more struggling.


    ¡°How did I turn into this? I wasn¡¯t like this before. It¡¯s all because of you.¡± Yue Zhishi tearfully said, ¡°I only feel like this when I miss you.¡±


    Song Yu let out a sigh in relief and stayed quiet for a few seconds. He guessed Yue Zhishi was currently under too much stress, too busy, and also really missed him ¡ª which is why his emotions were a bit fragile.


    So he very patiently asked, ¡°You didn¡¯t like it?¡±


    Yue Zhishi sniffed. ¡°I feel like I¡¯m being really strange. I¡¯m not normally like this.¡±


    ¡°You weren¡¯t being strange at all. Everyone¡¯s like that.¡± Song Yu said tranquilly, ¡°If you didn¡¯t feel anything towards me, then I¡¯d actually suspect whether you liked me or not.¡±


    ¡°I like you,¡± Yue Zhishi retorted back as quickly as he could. ¡°I like you the most.¡±


    Song Yu softly laughed. ¡°Then can you accept doing stuff like this?¡± It was as though he was giving him a warning. ¡°We might do even more excessive things later.¡±


    ¡°When is ¡®later¡¯?¡± Yue Zhishi asked.


    ¡°When we¡¯re doing things like this,¡± Song Yu lowered his voice, ¡°I might even bully you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s face was warm from being pushed into the pillow. Turning his face over, he looked at the camera ¡ª his red tinted eyes and nose were covered by a layer of moisture. Song Yu thought he was going to ask something, but the train of his thoughts was a bit bizarre. He didn¡¯t care at all about whether he was going to get bullied. Instead, he asked, ¡°This time didn¡¯t count? Or last time?¡±


    ¡°Neither of them count. I was far from bullying you.¡± Song Yu exposed only the bottom half of his face to his camera, as well as that very ascetic looking black woollen sweater. His thin lips faintly opened and closed, no curve to his lips; he didn¡¯t look very happy.


    ¡°You¡¯re already crying from today. Who knows how hard you¡¯re going to end up crying in the future ¡ª maybe we should forget about it.¡±


    ¡°No, don¡¯t.¡± Yue Zhishi was a bit anxious from his teasing, dropping a few tears, and even wriggled on the pillow in a fit of pique. ¡°I won¡¯t cry next time.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Song Yu¡¯s straight lips vaguely curved up. He leaned backwards and revealed his entire face ¡ª he was elegantly, immaculately dressed and was even wearing his glasses. Without a single hair out of place, he looked the complete opposite of Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°Good boy,¡± he said, giving Yue Zhishi a compliment like a piece of candy.


    Yue Zhishi gazed at the person in his screen, spellbound, before slowly blinking a few times in confusion. He whispered, ¡°I really miss you.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s eyes softened; he pulled off his glasses and moved his hand in the air, looking as though he was caressing Yue Zhishi¡¯s hair. ¡°I can¡¯t carry you to the shower this time.¡±


    ¡°I can go myself.¡± Yue Zhishi remembered something and tugged at the clothes on his body. He honestly admitted, ¡°But I¡¯m wearing your sleeping clothes. I also dirtied your bed ¡ª I was even drawing on it.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s fine.¡± Song Yu¡¯s eyes were warm and gentle as he gazed at him.


    ¡°But you really like being clean.¡± Yue Zhishi felt slightly uneasy.


    There was a tender look on Song Yu¡¯s face, and his mouth crooked up in a faint smile. ¡°You¡¯re the cleanest child in the world, no matter what you do.¡±


    That sentence wasn¡¯t some beautiful, romantic speech; it was just a simple reply, and yet it gave Yue Zhishi a burning face and racing heart. He didn¡¯t know what he should say, so he only leaned in closer with a bit of a coquettish whine in his voice. He gave Song Yu a kiss through the camera, as though he was expressing his gratitude.


    He didn¡¯t know if he saw wrongly, but he kept feeling that there was a shred of apology hidden in Song Yu¡¯s face.


    A few seconds passed, and then Song Yu spoke. He asked with some hesitation, ¡°Was I too hard on you just then?¡±


    Yue Zhishi felt a bit shy ¡ª he covered his face with the pillow. ¡°A bit.¡±


    ¡°I won¡¯t be like that next time.¡± After promising, he then added, ¡°I didn¡¯t know what you liked.¡±


    It was only at this moment that Yue Zhishi suddenly realised: actually, Song Yu had no experience at all as well. Perhaps he¡¯d only subconsciously, unintentionally revealed his desire for control.


    ¡°No.¡± Lowering the pillow a fraction, Yue Zhishi showed off his pair of beautiful eyes. ¡°I liked it when you were being a bit fierce. Especially when you were calling my full name.¡±


    And before he could feel shy again, he rapidly continued to say, ¡°But can you not be mean to me usually?¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡± Song Yu nodded. ¡°I won¡¯t.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was still unwilling to hang up the call as he showered and cleaned up. He kept asking Song Yu many questions, like when was he coming back, can he go pick him up, what present was he giving him this time¡­ He chattered all the way until Song Yu also got into bed, and only then did he slightly quiet down.


    ¡°Do you still want me to read my diary to you?¡± Yue Zhishi asked.


    Song Yu rested inside his very cold blanket, humming in agreement. Slightly surprised, he asked, ¡°You even brought over your diary?¡±


    ¡°Yup,¡± Yue Zhishi said, grabbing the diary from the bedside table and flipping through it, ¡°because I was worried you wouldn¡¯t be able to sleep. I thought I¡¯d be able to read it to you whenever you wanted if you asked. At least this way you can sleep well while away.¡±


    Song Yu said thank you ¡ª he sounded quite serious, and it made Yue Zhishi feel somewhat shy.


    Clearing his throat, he carelessly flipped to a random page and read out, ¡°October 28th, rain. I¡¯m so happy it¡¯s raining. I won¡¯t bring an umbrella, so I can get gege to¡­¡± Halfway through, Yue Zhishi squinted at the words for a long while. ¡°Ah, this guy didn¡¯t even know how to write the word ¡®hold¡¯ for ¡®hold the umbrella¡¯.¡±


    Song Yu wanted to laugh and asked, ¡°Are you talking about yourself?¡±


    Yue Zhishi remembered this was actually his diary. He felt a bit awkward, but he continued reading, pretending nothing had happened. ¡°¡­.so I can get gege to hold the umbrella for me. Gege normally doesn¡¯t like holding my hand, but he¡¯ll let me hold onto him when he¡¯s holding up the umbrella. He gets scared that I¡¯ll step into all the water puddles on the street. Even though he says I¡¯m an idiot, he¡¯s still the absolutely best gege in the entire universe.¡±


    After finishing, Yue Zhishi could hear the sound of Song Yu trying not to laugh. He was a bit helpless. ¡°Why is my diary all about you?¡±


    ¡°Who knows. Gege this, gege that ¡ª you just didn¡¯t like gege.¡±


    ¡°I did like you, I just understood it late¡­¡± Yue Zhishi weakly argued back. He turned to another page. ¡°Next entry¡­ raining again. This entry¡¯s not bad, it¡¯s very long.¡±


    ¡°October 29th, raining today too. My socks got wet, and I wasn¡¯t too happy about it. But when I entered my classroom and realised everyone¡¯s socks were wet, I became happy again. Now I really like it when it rains. Because the teacher will say some very not nice things to the student who tested the worst¡­¡± And then, Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but complain about the flow of the passage. ¡°What is this writing? There¡¯s no logical flow to it.¡±


    Song Yu gave the same evaluation to both his childish writing and current complaint about himself: ¡°Very cute.¡±


    Yue Zhishi felt somewhat bashful at abruptly being praised, but he forged on. ¡°Because of his bad grades, the teacher thought he was the one who didn¡¯t turn in his homework. But the teacher was wrong. First place Chen Miaomiao and last place Wang Xiaofeng both didn¡¯t bring umbrellas today, so they both got wet. Both of them got wet the same amount as each other. It looks like rain is fairer than the teacher.¡±


    After finishing that passage, Yue Zhishi pushed away the diary in mortification and then flopped onto his pillow. ¡°I¡¯m not going to read this anymore in the future, I feel like you¡¯re going to laugh so hard you won¡¯t be able to sleep.¡±


    But Song Yu asked very earnestly, ¡°But didn¡¯t you write very well? The rain really did treat them more fairly than the teacher. It treats people more equally than many other people do.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t really think about his words, only taking them as Song Yu consoling him; he simply let out a glum ¡®mn¡¯.


    But then suddenly, a thread of inspiration flashed through his mind ¡ª he wildly lifted up his head and grabbed the diary, carefully rereading that page.


    ¡°I got it,¡± he said to Song Yu with exhilaration. ¡°I know what the concept should be for the third round now. It¡¯s ¡®equality¡¯.¡±


    Song Yu hummed, and then, with gentleness and sincerity, he encouraged him, saying, ¡°Keep going.¡±


    ¡°The concepts for our first two rounds are ¡®time¡¯ and ¡®space¡¯. Rain will be the thread linking both of them together since it can bridge the distance between time and space. That diary entry just then made me think ¡ª rain treats everyone equally, just like law. No matter if you¡¯re rich or poor, man or woman; it doesn¡¯t matter how old you are or what race you come from. Rain will always fall on them as long as they want it to. No one will be rejected by the rain. Am I right?¡±


    Song Yu really wanted to see how Yue Zhishi looked like right at this very moment. He thought he would look extremely, absolutely enchanting.


    ¡°You¡¯re right. That¡¯s a very extraordinary idea; it¡¯s particularly clever.¡±


    Yue Zhishi climbed out of bed, turning on the lamp on the desk. ¡°I have so many thoughts right now, I want to try to sketch them all out.¡± He then said to Song Yu, ¡°Gege, are you sleepy now?¡±


    ¡°You want to abandon me again?¡± Song Yu intentionally said, ¡°Go. Since I¡¯m already used to being just a tool.¡±


    Yue Zhishi cutely whined and said he didn¡¯t. ¡°How about I turn on the camera so you can watch as I draw? You can sleep once you¡¯re tired.¡±


    ¡°All right.¡±


    He sat in front of the desk, his arms draped around the left leg lifted onto the chair. His face was settled on his knee as he casually drew with his right hand.


    The light of the lamp blurred that face mixed with both eastern and western features with a golden veil ¡ª it made him look both priceless and beautiful.


    Song Yu lay in a field of darkness, quietly watching Yue Zhishi in his screen. Once he fell silent, it was truly as though he was a figure found only in relief sculptures and murals; there was no sense of frivolous makeup over his pale, almost transparent skin. He was beautiful without being superficial, and he lured people in without meaning to ¡ª he was clean, holy and pure.


    If he was marred by possessiveness, wicked thoughts or a desire to destroy, then it would solely be his fault. Yue Zhishi was forever innocent.


    ¡°Your knee needs to be treated,¡± Song Yu quietly said.


    Yue Zhishi docilely nodded. ¡°You can put some cream on it when you¡¯re back.¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± Song Yu replied.


    Yue Zhishi had no idea when Song Yu fell asleep; he¡¯d been too focused on his work. He only realised Song Yu was breathing deeply, eyes closed, when he lifted his head. He stared at his screen for a long, long time, lost in his thoughts, and his finger lightly traced over Song Yu¡¯s nose.


    Yue Zhishi silently thought, this person was really quite strange. He¡¯d given him commands with such force, even saying he¡¯d bully him in the future ¡ª and yet after everything was done, he¡¯d apologetically asked if he¡¯d gone too far.


    He thought, there really might not be another person in the world who could move his heart so much.


    After spending an entire night in the apartment, Yue Zhishi sent a message the next morning to the design team¡¯s group chat on WeChat called [Little Swallow Dressed in Flowery Clothes]. He said he had a new idea, so Nan Jia once again borrowed a classroom at midday for an unplanned team meeting.


    ¡°I¡¯ll talk quickly so everyone can go back and rest.¡± Yue Zhishi pulled out the few pieces of paper with his design concept from his bag and gave them to everyone. ¡°I think we can use ¡®rain¡¯s equality¡¯ for the third round of the show.¡±


    ¡°Equality?¡± Chen Pi didn¡¯t understand his meaning. ¡°Why?¡±


    Yue Zhishi explained, ¡°Because rain doesn¡¯t care about your race, your gender or even your social class. As long as you want to be rained on, rain will always fall on everyone, equally.¡±


    This concept surprised everyone.


    ¡°And besides, after going through time and space, our theme will finally return back to humanity. It matches our law school¡¯s philosophy. Everyone is equal in front of the law, just like how rain will pour over the whole of society.¡±


    Qu Zhi flicked a brow. ¡°I like this idea.¡±


    ¡°But,¡± Nan Jia was recording down Yue Zhishi¡¯s words in a notebook, and she queried, ¡°how are we meant to express this equality?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s what I¡¯m going to talk about next.¡± Yue Zhishi brought out the rough drafts he created in a rush last night. ¡°I¡¯ve thought of these designs so far. Using different designs, we can represent all the different types of people ¡ª for example, making our clothes look old and putting holes in them can represent ¡®impoverished¡¯. Or using expensive fabrics for ¡®wealthy¡¯.¡±


    ¡°I understand now,¡± Zhou Yi said. ¡°And men, women, children and the elderly¡­¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right, just like that. We don¡¯t have to confine how our models look like either; they don¡¯t necessarily have to be tall and beautiful ¡ª because rain is equal.¡± Yue Zhishi pointed at a paper. ¡°For ¡®rain¡¯, we can use a see through material to make a thin outer coat and to simulate how it feels to have rain fall on someone¡¯s body. I researched some fabrics, and there¡¯s a certain type that¡¯s really thin and really glossy. We might be able to use it to give off that light blue, watery feeling. I¡¯ll look for it after class these next two days.¡±


    ¡°If we really can use it, then we¡¯ll be able to have everyone look like they¡¯re standing under the rain!¡± Even Chen Pi was excited.


    ¡°And we really can make it rain.¡± Nan Jia said, ¡°I¡¯ve already talked to the organiser¡¯s stage designers, and they said we can add in a machine for water. We just need to let them know ahead of time for them to organise it.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded. ¡°That¡¯s great. The entire round should look really good if the stage effects can match.¡±


    Qu Zhi was a bit impressed with him. ¡°Your brain has a lot of unusual and weird things.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± Xiao Qi still spoke very softly, but she now even dared to joke with Yue Zhishi. ¡°What inspired you? What good thing happened last night?¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s face instantly burned. ¡°Nothing, nothing ¡ª I just suddenly thought of it.¡±


    ¡°Are you sure? I feel like there¡¯s something not quite right here,¡± Nan Jia deliberately teased.


    ¡°Really.¡± For his own self protection, Yue Zhishi threw out an important subject to change the topic. ¡°By the way, I¡¯ve thought of an incredible finishing move to end the show. It¡¯ll definitely shock the entire room.¡±


    ¡°Finishing move?? What is it?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a secret.¡± A sly smile appeared on Yue Zhishi¡¯s face.

 CH 74

    Chapter 74: A Wish at the Airport


    After finalising their concepts, the progress speed of the law school¡¯s team seemed to accelerate. The five of them distributed the responsibility for the three separate concepts among themselves, and new ideas always came bouncing out whenever they held a meeting. They¡¯d originally thought they¡¯d been given an extremely difficult main theme with little to no novelty ¡ª no one expected to be able to have such plentiful, abundant ideas.


    ¡°I looked around both our school and our university¡¯s basketball teams and managed to find these  few people.¡± Using her iPad, Nan Jia displayed the photos of the models she¡¯d selected and showed them to the team.


    The photos slid across one by one, and Chen Pi and Zhou Yi were the most excited. ¡°Hey, this one¡¯s hot!¡±


    ¡°This one¡¯s not bad either, he¡¯s super muscular.¡±


    Nan Jia couldn¡¯t help but laugh. ¡°Why do you guys sound like you¡¯re gay?¡±


    Chen Pi tapped his nose. ¡°Who wouldn¡¯t be willing to be born handsome and wear the clothes they¡¯d designed themselves? How awesome would that be. Beautiful ladies are good too, we really need pretty girls.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll definitely have pretty girls. When I went over to the university team, I specifically went to take a look at the cheerleading team and etiquette department.¡± Nan Jia scrolled down quite a few photos. ¡°Look, aren¡¯t they all really pretty?¡±


    Yue Zhishi looked at their dazzling collection of model options and couldn¡¯t hold back his emotional sigh, saying, ¡°Good thing senior¡¯s so well-connected with so many resources. You have people willing to help you no matter where you go.¡±


    Nan Jia deliberately and dramatically brushed back the hair on her shoulders. ¡°Who told me to be so loveable.¡±


    Qu Zhi had been sitting by the side, focused on her drawings, and now she suddenly looked up and turned her face towards Nan Jia.


    ¡°Did you change your shampoo?¡±


    Nan Jia froze for a second, a bit surprised at how observant she was. ¡°Ah¡­ yes. Can¡¯t believe you noticed it.¡±


    ¡°It smells really nice.¡± Qu Zhi lowered her head again, continuing with her work.


    Yue Zhishi glanced at Qu Zhi¡¯s paper on purpose ¡ª the model in the drawing may not have clear facial features, but her hairstyle and overall aura were almost exactly the same as Nan Jia¡¯s.


    ¡°With these handsome guys and beautiful girls, and the looks of us designers,¡± Chen Pi shamelessly boasted, ¡°we¡¯ll immediately blow up the entire room and lay waste to all the other teams. Please award us with the prize for ¡®the team most easy on the eyes¡¯.¡±


    Xiao Qi also softly agreed. ¡°We¡¯ve already won with just the basketball team¡­¡±


    But Nan Jia released a long sigh. ¡°Originally I thought we¡¯d have another shock factor, but that shock factor¡¯s too cold and indifferent and rejected me.¡±


    Lifting his head, Yue Zhishi met Nan Jia¡¯s eyes. She nodded at him regretfully and said, ¡°It¡¯s exactly who you¡¯re thinking. Song Yu.¡±


    ¡°Ah.¡± Chen Pi slapped his leg. ¡°Senior Song Yu.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was slightly surprised. ¡°You know him too?¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡± Chen Pi pointed at Zhou Yi while spinning his chair. ¡°Aren¡¯t we second year students? We went to watch the finals for the basketball tournament last year. Good lord ¡ª I¡¯m directly calling him my good lord ¡ª the entire court was screaming out senior Song Yu¡¯s name. I almost went deaf.¡±


    Zhou Yi nodded and added, ¡°Especially when senior pulled up his jersey to wipe away the sweat on his face after shooting a ball. All the girls around me shrieked at the same time.¡±


    Yue Zhishi silently thought, I didn¡¯t even know there was something like that. But it had been the same when Song Yu played in the basketball team during high school ¡ª Yue Zhishi could pretty much imagine the scene.


    ¡°I¡¯m guessing you guys still don¡¯t know yet.¡± Nan Jia winked at Yue Zhishi. ¡°Our Le Le has a great relationship with senior Song Yu.¡±


    Everyone around the round table looked at Yue Zhishi at the same time, and it flustered him a bit, the pen in his hand dropping onto the table before rolling down to the floor.


    ¡°Wow, what kind of relationship?¡±


    Qu Zhi watched as he picked his pen back up, his face a bright red.


    Xiao Qi¡¯s secretly hidden gossipy nature exposed itself, and she very quietly asked, ¡°Are you guys brothers? I heard senior Song Yu got into a fight with one of our school¡¯s seniors just to stop him from forcing you to drink.¡±


    ¡°No no, they didn¡¯t fight,¡± Yue Zhishi rushed to explain. ¡°Just a small argument.¡±


    ¡°Are the genes in your family all squeezed from N¨¹wa?¡± Chen Pi was collapsed on his chair. ¡°How could there be such a large difference between people?¡±


    Not wanting to explain further, Yue Zhishi hurriedly changed the topic and asked Nan Jia, ¡°How did he reject you?¡±


    Nan Jia supported her chin with a hand and pulled up her chat record with Song Yu. ¡°Let me show you how cold and heartless he was. Look.¡± Nan Jia held up her phone for Yue Zhishi to see. ¡°I sent him such a long message, telling him this competition was really important and really needed a model who could shock the entire room. I even dragged you in as well, and talked about how hard you¡¯ve been working the last few days just for this. I said we really, really hoped he could help us out ¡ª it would be the icing on the cake.¡±


    ¡°But look at what he said.¡± Nan Jia¡¯s finger slid downwards.


    [Song Yu: I don¡¯t want people looking at me. Look for someone else.]


    ¡°Doesn¡¯t he sound particularly hard-hearted!¡±


    Yue Zhishi looked at the time of Song Yu¡¯s reply. It was after he¡¯d sent him a photo of his hand.


    He almost couldn¡¯t imagine it: in front of other people, Song Yu was a cold and ruthless machine that rejected everything, but at the same time, he could cutely complain to Yue Zhishi you¡¯re being very unfair simply because he didn¡¯t receive a photo from Yue Zhishi in return.


    It was such a wondrous feeling ¡ª it was like a little cat reaching out its paw and giving Yue Zhishi a very lively scratch despite forever giving other people only its haughty back.


    ¡°Since he¡¯s your older brother,¡± Qu Zhi suggested as she looked at him, ¡°he might say yes if you ask.¡±


    ¡°Me?¡± Yue Zhishi thought the idea wouldn¡¯t quite work. ¡°If senior Song Yu said he didn¡¯t want to be in the spotlight, then even I might not be able to succeed.¡±


    Nan Jia waved a hand. ¡°No need, no need. We already have enough models, they just need to practice their runway walking. Song Yu should be fairly busy too, so we may as well not bother him.¡±


    Xiao Qi¡¯s cellphone suddenly rang as they were speaking. She went outside for a bit, and she looked grim when she came back. Her father operated a store for handmade, custom-designed qipao, which was why she was so familiar with fabrics and had a certain level of resources. She¡¯d been given the jobs of contacting fabric manufacturers and clothing production factories for their designs.


    ¡°The, the fabric manufacturer just called me¡­¡± Xiao Qi sat down and looked at Yue Zhishi with very anxious looking eyes. ¡°They said they don¡¯t have that special fabric we need. I asked them to help me double check with other manufacturers, and they said this transparent silk¡¯s about to go out of production and is also really expensive. Very few manufacturers still sell it ¡ª actually, there¡¯s only one left. But, but that manufacturer most likely won¡¯t give it to us.¡±


    Yue Zhishi frowned. ¡°You mean, there¡¯s one place left that makes it but they won¡¯t sell it to us?¡± He felt like that was a problem they could solve. ¡°That¡¯s fine. At least there¡¯s still a place, we can contact them and ask. Maybe we¡¯ll be lucky and be able to buy it from them.¡±


    Xiao Qi shook her head. ¡°It¡¯s not that simple. I already asked my fabric manufacturer to ask that place for me, but they don¡¯t sell fabrics in small quantities. So, so for people like us who are only going to buy enough to make a few sets of clothes, they¡¯re not going to bother with us¡­¡±


    Zhou Yi followed along with his own sigh. ¡°Running into these kinds of things is the worst. We took a long time to find a clothing production factory willing to help us too.¡±


    Chen Pi was slumped on his desk. ¡°If it was that journalism guy, he¡¯d definitely be able to get fabrics with his family connections.¡± He then bumped Yue Zhishi¡¯s arm. ¡°Hey, I feel like he quite likes you. Le Le, why don¡¯t you go and ask him?¡±


    To Yue Zhishi, that was a terrible idea.


    ¡°This is a competition. Plus we¡¯re competitors ¡ª we can¡¯t ask our competitors for help as soon as we run into a problem. A competition like that wouldn¡¯t be fair and would have no meaning to it.¡±


    Even though he usually looked like a good-natured little boy, in certain situations, he would always display extremely strict standards and personal values. ¡°Besides, this isn¡¯t something that definitely won¡¯t succeed. Xiao Qi, give me the contact details for that fabric manufacturer ¡ª I¡¯ll give them a try. If we really can¡¯t get the fabric from them, then we can try to find another similar fabric and process it a bit as a replacement.¡±


    Nan Jia nodded. ¡°I think that¡¯s a good idea.¡±


    After their meeting ended, Yue Zhishi specifically walked with Xiao Qi to inquire and understand the current situation. She informed him, very dejectedly, that the current most troublesome thing was that she didn¡¯t have that manufacturer¡¯s contact number.


    ¡°The uncle I know doesn¡¯t have a particularly good relationship with that manufacturer, so I only have their specific location¡­¡±


    It was very cold outside, and Yue Zhishi hunched his shoulders, not having worn a lot of clothing. ¡°That¡¯s fine, we can head over there. Tomorrow just happens to be the weekend.¡±


    Xiao Qi nodded and forwarded the address to Yue Zhishi¡¯s phone. ¡°It¡¯s really far. They¡¯re in Guangzhou.¡±


    Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t expected that. He glanced at the message, standing face to face with Xiao Qi underneath the gingko trees. He was just thinking of what he should do when some people started looking in their direction.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t I go,¡± Xiao Qi said, slightly stumbling over her words, ¡°I don¡¯t have to go to my piano lessons on the weekend. I think Qu Zhi¡¯s helping senior sister with some volunteer work, while Chen Pi and Zhou Yi both need to attend party activities on the weekends. They shouldn¡¯t have any time.¡±


    Pushing his hands into his pockets, Yue Zhishi gave her a smile. ¡°That¡¯s okay, I can go by myself. How could I get a girl to head so far away? It could be really dangerous.¡±


    ¡°Then how about I go with you?¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head, refusing her suggestion. On one hand, he didn¡¯t want Xiao Qi to painfully travel so far, and he felt like it¡¯d be enough with just himself; on the other hand, it wouldn¡¯t be too convenient if they went out together, no matter if it was living in a hotel or taking the plane. Their school¡¯s social circle was small, and any little thing was easily blown up. It would affect Xiao Qi badly if there were any rumours.


    Besides, he also didn¡¯t want gege to misunderstand.


    As a true person of action, Yue Zhishi bought a plane ticket that very afternoon after deciding he¡¯d go to Guangzhou for the fabric manufacturer. He bought a ticket for the 8am flight the next morning.


    This was actually Yue Zhishi¡¯s first time travelling out by himself in his entire life, even though he wasn¡¯t heading out for a holiday but rather carrying a mission on his shoulders. After he bought the plane ticket, the first thing he did was to call Song Yu, but he only received an automated voice.


    ¡°¡­We¡¯re sorry, your phone call could not be connected, please try again¡­¡±


    Yue Zhishi guessed Song Yu might be busy with something or perhaps in an area with bad cellphone coverage, so he didn¡¯t take it to heart. Jiang Yuan ran over, pulling him into a game to bump up numbers, and once he started playing, Yue Zhishi forgot to send Song Yu a message. He only remembered just as he was about to sleep; he reported his extremely urgent and hasty itinerary to him on WeChat.


    Very early the next day, Yue Zhishi climbed out of bed, taking a taxi to the airport with his small luggage. The traffic was a mess, and the weather wasn¡¯t good either ¡ª the sky was gloomy and overcast, and it wasn¡¯t clear whether it was fog or haze in the air that was blanketing everything with grey. The taxi driver turned on the radio, and it broadcasted that a light rain was predicted for today.


    When he arrived at the airport, Yue Zhishi pulled out his phone to pay the driver, only then seeing the message Song Yu had sent at 5am that morning.


    [Gege: I dropped my phone yesterday, and I wasn¡¯t able to turn it on until after I charged it the whole night. I still don¡¯t know if it¡¯ll die on me.]


    [Gege: Are you at the airport now? I checked the weather, and it looks like it won¡¯t be good weather over there today. Remember to carefully listen to the voice announcements and don¡¯t talk too much with people you don¡¯t know.]


    Yue Zhishi felt Song Yu was sometimes very amusing ¡ª if someone else saw the message, they might think Yue Zhishi was a six year old child.


    He exited the taxi after paying and gave Song Yu a call. It was still really early, but Song Yu¡¯s voice sounded like he was already awake. Yue Zhishi collected his plane ticket and went through the usual procedures while he chatted to Song Yu, telling him about the troublesome things he¡¯d encountered and asking him when he¡¯d come back.


    ¡°Perhaps two days from now.¡± Song Yu then added, ¡°That was the original plan.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± Lowering his head, Yue Zhishi looked at the plane ticket in his hand and then gazed out at the dark grey sky outside the glass walls of the airport terminal. He¡¯d always had a high level of tolerance to anything ¡ª and yet now, at not being able to see Song Yu earlier, he found it very hard to cover up his regret. He sat down on the cold airport seat, stretched out his legs and said to Song Yu docilely, ¡°Then I¡¯ll come back earlier to see you.¡±


    Song Yu said, good. Whenever Song Yu talked on the phone with him, Yue Zhishi always thought he came across gentler ¡ª perhaps it was because they were talking through something, or perhaps it was a matter of one coding and the other decoding the words sent in between, but the Song Yu on the phone made Yue Zhishi miss him more, made Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart stir more.


    Yue Zhishi quieted down, pondering again, and thought: perhaps in the end, it was because he couldn¡¯t touch him, couldn¡¯t hug him and could only listen to his voice. He could only imagine the look on Song Yu¡¯s face, and so that made him want to see him even more.


    They hadn¡¯t spoken for too long when the terminal started broadcasting flight information; it just so happened to be Yue Zhishi¡¯s flight. Checking the time, he took a look at the watch Song Yu had given him and got up, preparing to board.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to hang up now. I need to board.¡±


    ¡°Wait a moment.¡± It was rare for Song Yu to hold Yue Zhishi back from doing something. Yue Zhishi¡¯s footsteps halted for two seconds, and Song Yu¡¯s tender, steady voice transmitted through the phone. ¡°I still haven¡¯t praised you yet.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve already become an adult who can take charge of things by yourself. You¡¯re amazing.¡±


    Yue Zhishi easily found the sweetness hidden in his words, and even felt the tiniest, smallest bit of pride. He knew Song Yu clutched onto him very tightly ¡ª but he himself truly enjoyed how that felt.


    ¡°We¡¯ll see each other very soon. Travel safely.¡±


    The single beep noise at the phone call being disconnected was like a magical toggle key, changing Yue Zhishi from a little child exceedingly dependent on his gege to an adult who could independently leave his city. Everything went much smoother than he imagined. His seat was next to a window, and he leaned back into his seat, looking at the drizzle falling outside. In his heart, he silently prayed for a safe arrival.


    A man around forty years old sat next to him. He was already tired from travelling, but he wanted to find someone to talk to; at first, he was curious about Yue Zhishi¡¯s looks and asked if he was a foreigner. After learning he was mixed, the man was then curious about his family background before starting to complain to Yue Zhishi, saying he¡¯d flown in from Los Angeles and needed to transfer at Jiang city. He¡¯d already had a long journey.


    Even though Yue Zhishi was a bit sleepy, he still replied to the man very politely.


    ¡°This weather¡¯s seriously terrible.¡± The man looked outside the window. ¡°But since it hasn¡¯t delayed our flight, it shouldn¡¯t be much of a problem.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded. The rain had already started falling faster, and the sky was too dim for morning ¡ª it looked more like dusk, easing towards nightfall. Without realising it, he reached out a hand and stroked his watch. ¡°I hope so.¡±


    ¡°I still need to meet a really important client. Hopefully nothing goes wrong.¡± The man adjusted his seat, looking as though he was preparing to finish their conversation. Letting out a breath in relief, Yue Zhishi curved his head against the window and closed his eyes.


    He didn¡¯t get enough sleep last night, so Yue Zhishi fell asleep very quickly. Except he¡¯d never been able to sleep deeply on planes, and this time, he kept drowsing in and out, feeling the plane continuously jolting up and down. He had a really realistic dream ¡ª he dreamed he went to look for Song Yu during a thunderstorm. The thunder outside was loud and ferocious, white lightning flashing across the night sky, and he searched for Song Yu for a very long time while soaked wet and holding back his fear. He finally found Song Yu in an old wooden cabinet.


    It was very dark inside once he opened the door, very damp; Song Yu was sitting by himself while hugging his knees and didn¡¯t say a single thing, as though he¡¯d already sat there for a very, very long time and had long gotten used to it.


    He initially wanted to take Song Yu away, but in the end, he squeezed inside and wrapped his arms around him, hiding together inside the cabinet.


    Yue Zhishi faintly heard the sound of a flight announcement. The cabinet in his dream wouldn¡¯t stop shaking, and he could feel someone pulling and patting him. Yue Zhishi jerked awake and saw an air stewardess busily working in the aisle, and the man next to him was urgently saying to him, ¡°You¡¯re finally awake. Our flight¡¯s been diverted, hurry and get ready.¡±


    ¡°A diversion?¡± Yue Zhishi frowned in confusion. ¡°Why are we diverted?¡±


    ¡°I think there¡¯s a typhoon. Guangzhou is storming particularly hard right now, and no planes can get in. We need to land in Changsha.¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought his luck really wasn¡¯t all that good, having met something like this the first time he went out for ¡®work¡¯. He didn¡¯t understand what a flight diversion was, and also didn¡¯t know what their current situation was like. The child in front of them kept crying and fussing, and his mother seemed to be quite impatient as she scolded him loudly. Yue Zhishi organised his tray table and his things, a bit panicked.


    He remembered an extremely thrilling movie he¡¯d once watched with Song Yu. Before the plane crashed, the flight crew prepared a will for every single person so that they could be given to their family members.


    Yue Zhishi looked utterly calm, and he rapidly put all his things away, following along with staff orders ¡ª but he kept thinking of that movie.


    But Yue Zhishi still didn¡¯t need to write a will even by the time the plane landed at the alternate airport.


    All the people around them were very irritable, annoyed because they couldn¡¯t arrive in Guangzhou as expected. Everyone swarmed out to the airline¡¯s service desk, preparing to create trouble, and the staff at the service desk placated them, telling them they wouldn¡¯t need to wait very long for a new flight.


    Pushing his luggage, Yue Zhishi looked for a long time before he found and sat down in an empty seat in a corner. The airport was a bit cold, and the light tan cashmere coat Yue Zhishi was wearing wasn¡¯t enough. Rushing travellers filled the terminal lobby; there were people holding others in happiness, and there were also people holding others while dropping tears.


    As though only he was alone.


    Yue Zhishi pulled out his phone, turned it on. He seldom called Song Yu straight away, worried he¡¯d disturb his work ¡ª he usually just sent messages through WeChat.


    [Le Le: I haven¡¯t reached Guangzhou yet. They seem to be in a typhoon at the moment, and our entire flight¡¯s been diverted to Changsha. I hear we¡¯ll need to wait for a few hours before the rain over there gets better. My luck truly is bad. I think getting into something so troublesome the first day I¡¯m out isn¡¯t a good sign.]


    Once he sent it out, Yue Zhishi thought for a bit and then hurriedly sent another message, afraid his unlucky words would come true.


    [Le Le: But having the worst thing happen at the beginning means everything else should go much smoother, right?]


    He didn¡¯t receive a reply from Song Yu immediately and guessed he was currently busy; Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t really mind. He took out his laptop, watching a few episodes of a newly released drama by himself, and then he reached into his bag again to pull out the glutinous rice dumplings Jiang Yuan had given him earlier to fill his stomach.


    He hadn¡¯t slept in a good position on the plane, and now that he had to sit and wait multiple hours in a hard chair, every passing second felt like a year. He now was slightly regretful that he didn¡¯t let Xiao Qi come with him; at least then he would¡¯ve had someone to talk to.


    After waiting for so long, he was now somewhat hungry. He strolled around the airport with his luggage before finally pausing in front of a small store selling pastries. The fragrance drifting out was too strong ¡ª Yue Zhishi pretty much couldn¡¯t move away.


    It wasn¡¯t a large store, but it was the only store in the airport selling cakes. There was a very large Christmas tree inside that was most likely purchased early; there were no decorations on it at all, and it looked a bit sad and miserable.


    He thought there might be something he could eat in here, so he walked in, searching for a target in the long row of display counters.


    Even if it was only an ice cream or a mousse.


    The cellphone in his hand abruptly vibrated, and Yue Zhishi picked up the call immediately, seeing it was from Song Yu. His eyes were still focused on the sparkling display of cakes.


    Song Yu spoke much faster than usual, as though he¡¯d just finished rushing through something. ¡°Where are you right now?¡±


    ¡°Me?¡± Yue Zhishi thought he didn¡¯t see his message. ¡°At the airport. I¡¯m a bit hungry right now, and there¡¯s a small pastry shop here. It smelled so delicious I went inside.¡±


    Afraid Song Yu would worry, Yue Zhishi made sure to say, ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I won¡¯t eat random things.¡±


    ¡°I know.¡± It sounded like there was someone talking on Song Yu¡¯s side of the phone. Song Yu said a few things to Yue Zhishi, but the store was too noisy ¡ª Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t hear him clearly and wanted to head outside. He turned and bumped directly into a someone carrying two massive bags of flour, and the bags of flour on the man¡¯s shoulder frantically wobbled from the impact.


    ¡°Hey hey hey, watch out!¡±


    Two staff members rushed over to hold up the bags. ¡°That scared me to death. Good thing the bags didn¡¯t fall.¡±


    But the bags were dusted with a large amount of flour, and Yue Zhishi breathed in the flour that had spread instantly into the air. He supported himself with the display counter and started to violently cough, bent over at the waist.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, what¡¯s wrong?¡± Over the phone, Song Yu¡¯s voice changed. ¡°What happened?¡±


    He really wanted to reply, but his ability to do anything was constricted by his lack of air. He didn¡¯t know how, but he accidentally hung up ¡ª he could no longer hear Song Yu¡¯s voice.


    At first, a staff member thought he was choking and dashed to pour him some water, but Yue Zhishi turned weaker the longer he coughed. He started to wheeze, his breathing coming faster and faster, and his back started to slide down against the counter.


    ¡°Are you okay?¡±


    ¡°Do you have asthma?¡±


    It was difficult for him to breathe ¡ª he had no way to give them any sort of response. He painfully tugged at the backpack sitting on top of his luggage, and he scrambled through it, looking for a little bag, before he poured everything inside onto the floor. He flipped through everything in desperation and then found his lifesaving asthma inhaler. He dragged in the medication with large, deep breaths.


    Hurry ¡ª he didn¡¯t want Song Yu to worry. He needed to quickly call back.


    A bunch of people surrounded him, and they were all looking at him. Yue Zhishi¡¯s vision was a bit fuzzy, and he could feel himself continuing to sweat. Luckily he had his medication with him; his symptoms slowly faded, and he now at least had the energy to lift his hand and pull down the scarf around his neck.


    The scarf rested on his legs. Yue Zhishi lay weakly in front of the display counter, and a staff member brought over a cup of water for him, asking if he needed an ambulance.


    Shaking his head, Yue Zhishi took the water in gratitude ¡ª except he didn¡¯t have the energy to drink it and could only temporarily leave it on the ground.


    The sudden asthma attack left him breathless, his mind dazed and foggy. He kept pulling in large breaths of air, and he kept thinking again and again of that dream he had on the plane. His negative emotions were like stagnant ponds of water left after the rain, spreading out bit by bit.


    He sat on the ice-cold floor and took out his phone to call Song Yu. Lifting his head, he made a rather impossible wish towards that unofficial Christmas tree ¡ª but it flashed through his mind very swiftly and disappeared.


    ¡°The person you¡¯re calling is currently busy, please try again¡­¡±


    Guessing Song Yu was trying to call him, Yue Zhishi hung up and waited for a little while, but the understanding between them caused trouble right at this moment.


    ¡°The person you¡¯re calling¡­¡±


    He hung up again, and Yue Zhishi lowered his head, dejected. He chose to silently wait; his nose was slightly burning, and he was still steadily trying to adjust his breathing so that he would sound better on the phone.


    Around two, three seconds later, his darkened phone screen suddenly lit up.


    A small little light in Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart also ignited. He was just about to pick up the call when abruptly ¡ª he heard that familiar voice he¡¯d yearned to hear.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi.¡±


    When Song Yu finally arrived at this pastry shop, the first thing he saw was Yue Zhishi sitting against the floor. Yue Zhishi turned his face in Song Yu¡¯s direction; the cool toned lights made his face appear wan and pale, and the small amount of sweat on his forehead was glistening in tiny pieces. His lips were also pale, and he looked like a dried out and faded rose.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes looked very confused ¡ª he thought he was hearing things and was even having a hallucination after his attack. He didn¡¯t believe what was happening until Song Yu ran over, his eyes so alarmed he didn¡¯t seem real, and hugged him in front of everyone¡¯s eyes. He didn¡¯t believe it until he smelled that pleasant scent that always surrounded Song Yu, until he could bury his face into the dip of Song Yu¡¯s shoulder.


    ¡°Are you okay?¡± There was sweat on Song Yu¡¯s forehead, and he looked like he¡¯d run for a very long time. His palm was very hot ¡ª he stroked Yue Zhishi¡¯s face and double checked his heart rate. ¡°Did you just have an asthma attack? You just used your inhaler, right?¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded his head a bit blankly. He didn¡¯t know how Song Yu appeared all of a sudden right at this very moment; he¡¯d clearly said he would be back after two days. Yue Zhishi gazed at his face, lost in a small trance.


    It looked like the dream was flipped ¡ª it was actually him who was found.


    ¡°Song Yu.¡± Yue Zhishi called out his name so, so softly. ¡°How are you here?¡± He eased over gently to kiss Song Yu¡¯s lips, as though he was dreaming.


    Even though the Christmas tree was so shabby it didn¡¯t have a single star, it still granted his wish so very generously.


    The author has something to say:


    Gege wasn¡¯t at Changsha, he flew over there specifically. Le Le stayed there for a good few hours


    They won¡¯t have their photos taken and spread on the internet, they also won¡¯t be seen by people they know. The probability of that stuff happening is too low hhh (don¡¯t pull out knives for yourselves, okay? Be good and give me the blades in your hands~)

 CH 75

    Chapter 75: The Status of Lover


    Yue Zhishi thought his brain must¡¯ve been utterly fogged up from his asthma attack to have kissed Song Yu in front of everyone in public.


    His breathing had still yet to completely even out, and he was still very weak; he looked a bit pitiful when he pulled away. He was still very flustered, so he coughed again a few times, as though he really hoped the people around them didn¡¯t see the foolish thing he¡¯d done. He hoped Song Yu wouldn¡¯t be harassed.


    But Song Yu hugged him, face to face, and stroked his hand up and down the back of Yue Zhishi¡¯s head and his nape in comfort. ¡°Everything¡¯s okay now.¡± Reaching out, he picked up the cup of water on the floor and helped Yue Zhishi stand up, supporting him with his arms; he then said to the staff member gawking by the side, ¡°I apologise for my boyfriend¡¯s asthma attack affecting your work. I¡¯d like a cup of hot water with some sugar, please.¡±


    The staff member initially stared at him blankly before immediately nodding. ¡°No problem. Please take a seat first.¡±


    Song Yu supported Yue Zhishi over to a sofa booth and then kissed his forehead. ¡°Wait here for me.¡±


    He hurried over to the display counter they were just in front of and knelt down to pick up all of the items Yue Zhishi had spilled over the floor. He checked the medicine Yue Zhishi had brought with him, directly punching out the correct dosage of pills from the aluminium foil, and pushed both Yue Zhishi¡¯s luggage and backpack over to him after packing everything up.


    Yue Zhishi was resting on top of the table, and he looked very helpless and miserable to Song Yu. He walked over, sat next to Yue Zhishi and tugged him into his arms, smoothing a hand down his back.


    ¡°You haven¡¯t eaten anything yet. What made you allergic?¡± Song Yu softly asked.


    Yue Zhishi pushed his face into Song Yu¡¯s shoulder, feeling Song Yu¡¯s slightly damp coat. ¡°I was very unlucky and accidentally bumped into the man carrying in flour. Actually, only a little bit of flour flew into the air, but I just so happened to breathe it in.¡± His voice still sounded somewhat weak and breathless, and Song Yu seemed to really notice it ¡ª he hugged him with very gentle arms.


    ¡°It¡¯s good you listen and bring your meds with you wherever you go.¡± Song Yu touched Yue Zhishi¡¯s hair and gave him the pills in his hand. ¡°Any other allergic reactions?¡±


    ¡°Not so far.¡± Yue Zhishi shook his head.


    Song Yu was wearing a black coat, and Yue Zhishi noticed there were many, almost imperceptible, water droplets on his woollen coat. It looked like he¡¯d gone through a drizzle, and that reminded him ¡ª Song Yu shouldn¡¯t have appeared here right at this very moment.


    ¡°Weren¡¯t you in the northwest? You said you¡¯d come back two days from now.¡±


    ¡°I also said that was the original plan. The rest of the people in the research team wanted to stay and travel for a few days as a group, but I thought I¡¯d better come back earlier. After you later said you were going to Guangzhou and gave me your flight number, I decided to head there as well.¡± Song Yu was lightly patting his back. ¡°But I couldn¡¯t buy tickets for the earliest flight towards Guangzhou. I was worried something would happen after seeing all the news about the typhoon, so I called the airline. They told me your flight was going to be diverted.¡±


    ¡°Luckily enough, it was really easy to buy a plane ticket to Changsha so I flew here directly.¡±


    Song Yu spoke in a particularly calm ¡ª even flat ¡ª voice about how he¡¯d made his decision after so many unexpected events. He completely avoided talking about why he¡¯d left his work early and travelled over to Changsha; he looked like he was just here for work, and was much calmer than the other travellers with their journeys delayed.


    ¡°No wonder I couldn¡¯t call through to you,¡± Yue Zhishi said. Song Yu had been on the plane. He leaned on Song Yu¡¯s body and asked in a muffled voice, ¡°What if I¡¯d left? You would¡¯ve travelled over for no reason.¡±


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have. You temporarily can¡¯t go to Guangzhou, and there was a high probability of you waiting in the airport after the flight was delayed instead of choosing to take another travel method. You¡¯re not in that much of a rush.¡±


    He was like a machine calculating predictions. ¡°After the airline company informed everyone of the flight delays, you would¡¯ve stayed in the airport, watched a few episodes of anime, ate something and then continued to wait.¡±


    All correct.


    Yue Zhishi sniffled, pulling away from Song Yu¡¯s arms, and suddenly noticed the girl sitting at the table diagonally across from them was staring in their direction ¡ª he only then realised his and Song Yu¡¯s actions seemed to be overly intimate. But he didn¡¯t retreat a distance away, only rather obstinately saying to Song Yu, ¡°So you would rather risk a wasted journey instead of telling me you were coming over.¡±


    After staying quiet for two seconds, Song Yu revealed a very rarely seen expression: he looked like he couldn¡¯t understand what was happening. The staff member from earlier now came over with a cup of hot sugar water and even gifted them a hot Americano.


    Yue Zhishi gave her his thanks and also said he¡¯d troubled them. The staff member was very frightened. ¡°Not at all, it was really our fault. Our shop¡¯s being renovated so we couldn¡¯t open the back door. Our delivery person also missed two bags of flour this morning, which is why he was here just then. It was too dangerous.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± Yue Zhishi smiled at her.


    ¡°It¡¯s a good thing you¡¯re okay, I was so scared.¡± She looked at Song Yu as she spoke and couldn¡¯t help but praise, ¡°Your boyfriend honestly feels so reliable.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­¡± After hiding it for long, Yue Zhishi was very much unused to other people knowing about their relationship. He became a bit bashful, not knowing what to say. ¡°¡­thank you.¡±


    ¡°The two of you really match each other.¡± The staff member acted like a young girl, covering half her face with her tray. ¡°I won¡¯t bother you guys anymore, please let me know if you need anything.¡±


    ¡°We will.¡± Yue Zhishi watched as she left, immersed in the delight of someone praising Song Yu as reliable. He carefully lifted up his cup and drank some water, throwing his pills into his mouth as well.


    He¡¯d yet to swallow when he heard Song Yu belatedly ask, ¡°You¡¯d like it more if I told you ahead of time?¡±


    ¡°Hm?¡± Yue Zhishi had just taken a large sip of water, and his cheeks were puffed up; he widened his eyes and blinked at Song Yu in confusion.


    ¡°Me suddenly showing up ¡ª you don¡¯t like it?¡± Song Yu asked again.


    Yue Zhishi quickly swallowed his pills and then shook his head, worriedly saying not at all. ¡°I just found it strange why you didn¡¯t tell me. What if you arrived and I wasn¡¯t¡­¡± Halfway through his words, looking like he¡¯d realised something, he abruptly froze, and he touched Song Yu¡¯s arm with a hand.


    ¡°Gege, did you want to give me a surprise?¡± Yue Zhishi slanted his head.


    Song Yu suddenly coughed, turning his head away to drink some water. He still didn¡¯t look at Yue Zhishi even after he put down the cup. ¡°I just didn¡¯t want to tell you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi stared at him for a while and then unexpectedly threw himself into Song Yu¡¯s arms very happily. ¡°Thank you.¡±


    ¡°I originally thought there wouldn¡¯t be any issues with me going to Guangzhou by myself. It would¡¯ve been fine if you didn¡¯t come, I would¡¯ve just had to work a bit harder with a lot more small inconveniences.¡± With his arms around Song Yu, Yue Zhishi raised his head and looked at him with very sincere eyes. ¡°But now that you¡¯re here, I don¡¯t even mind the small inconveniences.¡±


    He¡¯d thought after his attack eased, he would¡¯ve had to awkwardly clean up his mess, leave the store and then continue to wait, to board his flight ¡ª to head towards an unfamiliar city all by himself.


    But Song Yu didn¡¯t allow any of that to happen.


    Even though he was so very clumsy and had no way to admit he¡¯d wanted to surprise him, there was no one else like him who would always immediately arrive at Yue Zhishi¡¯s side.


    Song Yu hugged him back, his body finally relaxing.


    He¡¯d only just gotten off his plane when he called Yue Zhishi. He¡¯d thought they would see each other very soon, and his heart had been overflowing with sweet pleasure. He had taken only a few steps when he heard the sound of coughing through the phone.


    He¡¯d already forgotten how he¡¯d madly, wildly run over ¡ª how he¡¯d desperately and frantically searched for the cake shop Yue Zhishi had mentioned. He must¡¯ve looked so messy and panicked and very unlike himself.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want any inconveniences. I don¡¯t like them.¡± Lowering his head, Song Yu kissed the top of his head.


    They took a short rest, and then the two of them left the airport. Flights were severely affected by the weather, and since Song Yu was worried about flight safety, he bought bullet train tickets from Changsha to Guangzhou for slightly later that day. They went to the hospital near the train station for Yue Zhishi to be given a last minute injection, and they didn¡¯t have enough time to eat. Song Yu busied himself with buying Yue Zhishi some rice soaked in meat broth and sugar oil rice cake, staying next to Yue Zhishi in the hospital injection room as he finished the food.


    ¡°This one¡¯s yummy, sticky and chewy. Really sweet.¡± Yue Zhishi attempted to feed Song Yu, but Song Yu dodged away.


    ¡°It¡¯s too sweet.¡± Song Yu told him to finish all of it by himself.


    His allergic rash had faded mostly away, but the side effects of his allergy meds left him woozy with some slight chills. But Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t feel sad because of his attack ¡ª in this foreign place, he could keep holding Song Yu¡¯s hand. No one knew how convoluted their relationship was.


    The typhoon, the torrential rain, the unexpected emergency landing ¡ª all of these accidents weaved together a perfect escape plan, letting him and Song Yu temporarily flee from the title of ¡®brothers¡¯. They could be an uncomplicated pair of lovers, indifferent to the eyes of others.


    There were a lot of people on the bullet train, and because Song Yu had purchased their tickets so hastily, their two seats weren¡¯t next to each other. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t say anything, and yet Song Yu towed their two luggages to the front and even took the initiative to look for the person meant to sit next to Yue Zhishi. It was a young girl, and while Song Yu had always hated trouble, he asked very mildly if he could switch seats with her.


    After seeing Song Yu¡¯s face, the girl was slightly awed and somewhat shy. ¡°You want to sit in my seat?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± Song Yu shifted slightly, turning his body sideways so she could see Yue Zhishi. ¡°We didn¡¯t buy seats next to each other.¡±


    ¡°Ah, I see.¡± The girl¡¯s eyes brightened the moment she saw Yue Zhishi, and she stood up very quickly. ¡°Then your seat is?¡±


    ¡°12A, the one next to the window.¡±


    Their seats were actually all in the same row, and she swiftly agreed and moved over, continuously waving her hand in dismissal when Song Yu expressed his gratitude.


    Song Yu had Yue Zhishi sit down next to the window, and he put away their luggages, taking off his large coat and draping it over Yue Zhishi¡¯s body.


    ¡°I¡¯ve always been really curious. Why don¡¯t bullet trains have E seats?¡± Underneath the carriage lights, Yue Zhishi¡¯s hair looked very soft, and it faintly shimmered with gold.


    ¡°I think they¡¯re meant to be the same as airplane seating.¡± Song Yu sat down as well. There wasn¡¯t quite enough space in a second class seat, and so his legs couldn¡¯t really stretch out; he was really not used to it.


    Nodding, Yue Zhishi said in Japanese, ¡°I see.¡± His hands, hidden under Song Yu¡¯s coat, were sneakily moving around. He pushed away his armrest and then went to look for Song Yu¡¯s, but because he touched Song Yu¡¯s arm first, he conveniently gave that forearm a squeeze.


    He was just about to push away Song Yu¡¯s armrest as well when the girl from earlier stood up and headed in their direction. Yue Zhishi lifted his eyes, looked at her and saw her press her lips together and say to Song Yu, ¡°Um, excuse me, is it okay if I add your WeChat?¡±


    Song Yu only then raised his head to look at her, but the carriage was very noisy ¡ª his whole attention had been on Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand, and he didn¡¯t hear a single thing she¡¯d said. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d like to add your WeChat.¡± The girl was a bit embarrassed. ¡°If I can.¡±


    If he hadn¡¯t just switched seats with her, Song Yu might¡¯ve rejected her as coldly as he usually did. But he was in a bit of a difficult situation right now: he guessed that if he rejected her, there might be a decent chance of her asking to change their seats back.


    Compared to sitting together with Yue Zhishi, exchanging WeChat details was nothing.


    Song Yu was just about to take out his phone when Yue Zhishi abruptly tossed away the coat. He spoke neither loudly nor softly, but he said to that girl very frankly, ¡°He¡¯s my boyfriend.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s first reaction was to cover Yue Zhishi back up with his coat, realising only after what Yue Zhishi had said ¡ª he twisted his face over to look at him with some surprise.


    Instantly, the look on the girl¡¯s face turned slightly awkward; her eyes swept over Yue Zhishi and Song Yu twice, and she asked, still not quite sure, ¡°¡­really?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s light-coloured eyes glowed under the lights. The words that came out of his mouth were very blunt, yet they intriguingly left others with no way to refuse them. ¡°Can you not ask him for his WeChat? I¡¯ll get jealous.¡±


    Song Yu threw him a glance. ¡°You will?¡±


    ¡°I will.¡± Yue Zhishi pursed his lips and smiled at him. The corners of Song Yu¡¯s mouth gently curved upwards a bit as well, but he used his formidable strength of will to turn them back down.


    As she watched them, the girl understood and prepared to leave after saying sorry for disturbing you. Yue Zhishi hurriedly called out and gave her the mango mousse he¡¯d bought from the cake store; he felt slightly better only after she started smiling again.


    ¡°That was my first time doing something like that.¡± He pushed away Song Yu¡¯s armrest and leaned against him. He said very quietly, ¡°I hope she won¡¯t be unhappy.¡±


    Song Yu simply found him adorable, so he chuckled.


    ¡°What are you laughing about?¡±


    ¡°Nothing. I just thought you¡¯re really like one of those small dogs who bark and bother other people only when next to their owners.¡±


    Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t very satisfied with Song Yu¡¯s description of him; he got up from his shoulder and turned to face Song Yu. ¡°I¡¯m not that bad.¡±


    ¡°I know.¡± Song Yu caressed Yue Zhishi¡¯s chin.


    The train started moving, and Yue Zhishi spoke to Song Yu softly, his words going in circles. He stealthily pulled Song Yu¡¯s hand underneath the coat and fiddled with it.


    ¡°The staff member from the cake shop said we really match each other,¡± Yue Zhishi whispered. ¡°Did you hear?¡±


    Song Yu shook his head ¡ª at that time, he¡¯d been lost in his frustration at failing to surprise Yue Zhishi and hadn¡¯t heard a single thing.


    But he quickly said, ¡°But I agree with her.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was amused by his serious words and pinched Song Yu¡¯s hand. ¡°Why do you agree?¡±


    It was just a casual question, and he hadn¡¯t hoped to get any real answer ¡ª but Song Yu actually responded. ¡°According to people¡¯s current widespread beliefs, there are a few criteria for whether two people suit each other. Looks, body, education, income and family background.¡±


    He answered as though he was earnestly completing an academic question, strictly analysing each criteria one by one. ¡°Looks and body both belong to aesthetic taste with no standard answer¡­¡±


    ¡°I really like your face,¡± Yue Zhishi softly interjected.


    Turning to look at him, Song Yu raised an eyebrow. ¡°Only my face?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡± Yue Zhishi then said, still softly, ¡°And your body.¡±


    Song Yu seemed to be a bit more satisfied at that answer. Yue Zhishi shifted back onto Song Yu and asked in a very faint voice, ¡°Then do you think I look nice?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was very close to him when he asked that question, the fine, soft down on his cheeks visible. His western bone structure mingled well with the smooth, delicate skin of Asian background, and when he blinked, his brown eyes, layered with dense yet long eyelashes, gave him a kind of uncommon innocence.


    Asking a question like that with that face¡­


    ¡°I don¡¯t know if you look nice or not,¡± Song Yu deliberately said.


    He laughed when he saw Yue Zhishi¡¯s hurt puppy dog eyes. ¡°You really don¡¯t know yourself at all.¡±


    That pretty much meant Song Yu thought he was good-looking and liked his looks, so Yue Zhishi cheered up again very quickly.


    Song Yu continued calculating. ¡°Education ¡ª we¡¯re from the same schools. Income ¡ª even though you don¡¯t have any right now, you¡¯re going to be a lawyer in the future. Your income should be relatively impressive. And it¡¯s not like my future income won¡¯t be enough to keep you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi really liked the word ¡®keep¡¯; he stroked Song Yu¡¯s arm with great cheer.


    ¡°As for family background¡­¡±


    At that final criteria, both of them simultaneously fell silent for a few seconds, and then Song Yu chuckled like he was laughing at himself. ¡°If your father were still around, we would be considered as old family friends. Since your dad¡¯s not here, then our family background is from the same family ¡ª and so on a certain level, we could be considered as having the same status.¡±


    Yue Zhishi lifted his head, looking at him, and bent his head onto Song Yu¡¯s shoulder with significant emotional attachment.


    ¡°Looking at it like that, then we truly do suit each other, don¡¯t we?¡±


    He cared more about Song Yu¡¯s feelings than anything else. As for those metrics ¡ª they were just inconsequential fun.


    This escape, destined to head straight into a wild storm, wasn¡¯t suited for anxious hearts.


    Streaks of rain once again appeared outside the carriage windows, and in the pitch black night, the strands of rain that landed on the glass shone the brightest. Sleepily, drowsily, Yue Zhishi rested on Song Yu¡¯s shoulder and told him it had also been like this earlier that day on the plane ¡ª it had been raining, and there had been so many people.


    ¡°The plane was so bumpy. I was so scared.¡±


    Song Yu stroked his face, helping him pull up the coat that had slid down.


    ¡°I thought about that airplane disaster movie we¡¯d watched together.¡±


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t that serious,¡± Song Yu said. ¡°Flight diversion is very common.¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought about how he¡¯d felt at that time. A lingering fear still remained in his heart ¡ª he knew Song Yu would think he was being very childish, very immature, but Yue Zhishi had an inherent fear of disaster.


    ¡°I thought the aircrew would give me a will. I¡¯d already thought about what to write.¡±


    To be more precise, he¡¯d already written a rough draft in his phone.


    Song Yu thought he was really cute, but once he truly thought about it, he felt scared, even somewhat heartbroken ¡ª he didn¡¯t want to come across as caring too much, so he pretended and said in a relatively relaxed voice, ¡°What did you want to write?¡±


    ¡°Hm¡­¡± In his heart, Yue Zhishi flicked through that very simple will and picked something that didn¡¯t appear all that important. He told Song Yu, ¡°I have over $13,000 RMB savings in total in my phone and bank card. But I still owe $2,000 in monthly payments. Please help me repay that, or else I won¡¯t be able to die in peace. The leftover money should be split into three equal portions and given to you, Aunt Rong and Uncle.¡±


    ¡°The sketchbooks you gave me ¡ª the two of them. Can you burn them for me? Even though I know it¡¯s really superstitious, but I want to have those two things. I don¡¯t have to have anything else.¡± And then, Yue Zhishi considered a little bit. ¡°I don¡¯t know if those superstitions are believable or not. If I don¡¯t receive them after they¡¯ve been burned, then it would¡¯ve been an utter waste.¡±


    At certain times, Yue Zhishi would always be both innocent and cruel. Song Yu didn¡¯t really want to keep listening, so he didn¡¯t say a single thing.


    Or maybe he should ask Yue Zhishi ¡ª when he imagined himself possibly dying, did he think about him.


    Other than money, did he think about leaving anything else to him.


    And very tacitly, Yue Zhishi stopped speaking as well. He stretched out a hand and wrote the ¡®yu¡¯ character in Song Yu¡¯s name on the glass window before wiping it away with his fingers. The conversation jumped to what they should eat tomorrow, and he told Song Yu he¡¯d read many guides on what to eat in Guangzhou before he¡¯d left; he chattered away, and in the end, he grew tired and fell asleep on Song Yu¡¯s body.


    Time flowed so slowly after he fell asleep. Underneath the coat, Song Yu clutched Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand tightly, as though he could feel a bit more reassured that way.


    No one would take something like that seriously, except for Song Yu. He thought he¡¯d long gotten used to the possibility of losing Yue Zhishi at any given moment ¡ª but now he realised, he hadn¡¯t.


    There was still one more stop until Guangzhou. Yue Zhishi¡¯s phone suddenly vibrated, and he refused to wake up despite it bothering him. Song Yu could only release his hand and go searching for Yue Zhishi¡¯s phone; he finally found it in the pocket of Yue Zhishi¡¯s coat. The screen was lit up ¡ª it was Yue Zhishi¡¯s alarm.


    He really liked using alarms as a method to remind himself to do something. Song Yu helped him turn it off, but after only thirty seconds, a new alarm rang.


    He really liked setting multiple alarms one after another.


    Because of the noise, Yue Zhishi was no longer resting on Song Yu, shifting himself towards the window. Song Yu had no choice but to type in the password and unlock the phone, turning off all five consecutive alarms.


    When he was swiping back out, he accidentally hit one of the apps running in the background, and it just so happened to be a memo Yue Zhishi had written. Song Yu knew he shouldn¡¯t pry into his privacy, but he still read it.


    The entire memo wasn¡¯t long, only a few lines. But the title of it was the single word of ¡®will¡¯, and it was entirely something Yue Zhishi would do.


    Song Yu immediately saw the last few sentences.


    [I know we¡¯re required to be cremated, but if there are any ashes left, please give them to Mr. Song Yu. I¡¯ve written his phone number at the very top ¡ª you can contact him.


    I¡¯m not sure about inheritance rules, but I have no immediate family members. He is my lover.]

 CH 76

    Chapter 76: Early Inheritance


    They¡¯d taken the last bullet train for the day, and by the time they reached Guangzhou, it was already close to midnight.


    Yue Zhishi had just woken up when they got off the train, and he was still very woozy, half wrapped in Song Yu¡¯s arms the entire time they were exiting the station.


    Thinking of sending Jiang Yufan a message, he reached out and groped for his phone. That was strange.


    He thought his phone had been in his left pocket earlier.


    People were everywhere in the passageways, scurrying and rushing to where they needed to go. Yue Zhishi lifted his head with bleary eyes and saw a man in front of him with his bag unzipped; a small black pouch inside was about to topple out. Yue Zhishi told Song Yu where he was going and quickly ran over, managing to catch the pouch just in time.


    ¡°Hey.¡± Yue Zhishi gave the man a pat on the shoulder. He handed the pouch in his hand over to the man once he turned around. ¡°Your stuff fell.¡±


    The man first profusely thanked him, and then a look of surprise covered his face when he looked at Yue Zhishi. ¡°Aren¡¯t you that mixed handsome boy from the flight?¡±


    Yue Zhishi only then realised the man was the same person who¡¯d sat next to him on the plane. He gave him a smile and said, ¡°What a coincidence. We even took the same bullet train.¡±


    ¡°Yeah. I¡¯m so thankful for you, this pouch has all of my identification documents. It would¡¯ve been a mess if I lost it.¡± The man placed the pouch back into his bag and securely zipped it up. ¡°Handsome guy, is there someone picking you up here? Let me take you to where you need to go.¡±


    Yue Zhishi subconsciously looked back and saw Song Yu pushing their luggages over. ¡°No need, no need. You should go do what you¡¯re here for.¡±


    ¡°Then please make sure you look for me if you need any help.¡± The man took out a business card from his pocket and gave it to him, looking quite tired and worn out as he left.


    ¡°Who was that?¡± Song Yu spoke mildly, yet he promptly reached out and took away the card in Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand. He lowered his eyes and said, voice appraising, ¡°¡­Zhou Chengwei from Mingshang Company Ltd. And even a vice president.¡±


    ¡°He was next to me on the plane.¡± Yue Zhishi caught Song Yu¡¯s arm and said, voice very docile and pliant, ¡°Gege, I¡¯m so sleepy.¡±


    Song Yu stored the business card in the outer layer of Yue Zhishi¡¯s backpack and took him out of the station.


    It was raining extremely heavily outside, but it wasn¡¯t cold. The rain fell noisily and loudly, and the stream of people leaving the station was also very chaotic. Song Yu was in the middle of the crowd ¡ª and yet he stood out because of how overly calm and controlled he was.


    He held open a black umbrella, gathering Yue Zhishi into his arms. They got onto a taxi he¡¯d ordered earlier and headed towards the hotel he¡¯d booked while they were on the bullet train.


    The rain was so intense it was as though it was being poured onto the car windows. The bright neon lights of the city outside the windows were obscured, blurred into soft glowing circles of brightness. Yue Zhishi gazed out, his hand covering the back of Song Yu¡¯s slightly chilled hand.


    Using very accented Mandarin, the taxi driver chatted with them, asking if they¡¯d come to Guangzhou to play, and Yue Zhishi occasionally replied to his attempts at conversation. He turned his face over towards Song Yu¡¯s direction and saw dark water stains blotched over the shoulder of Song Yu¡¯s coat.


    The friendly local driver told them where to go for the best roast goose, what places liked to cheat tourists and even praised the hotel they¡¯d booked as being very decent.


    Yue Zhishi only understood why the driver said the hotel was very decent after he got off the car, saw the financial centre building with its one hundred-plus floors and followed Song Yu into the elevator. They arrived at the magnificent large lobby of a luxury hotel.


    ¡°Why¡¯d you book such an expensive hotel?¡± Yue Zhishi carried his own luggage towards the steps, but he¡¯d only gone up two of them when Song Yu took his luggage from him.


    Song Yu said, ¡°You should ask yourself instead why you didn¡¯t book a hotel when going out of town.¡±


    ¡°I just thought there¡¯d be time for me to find one after I arrived.¡± Yue Zhishi had originally wanted to eat at a very famous local restaurant after his flight landed before considering where to live. He didn¡¯t think his plan would be so ruined.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t continue speaking and lugged their luggages towards the reception.


    There were almost no other people in the hotel lobby in the middle of the night. Song Yu took out his and Yue Zhishi¡¯s identification documents and gave them to the female receptionist on duty. Yue Zhishi sat on top of the luggages, first lifting a hand to observe the small water droplets left on his coat, and then raised his head to peer around everywhere. He reached out a hand to touch the small potted plant sitting on the reception desk.


    Not long after, the revolving door behind them turned again. Two men came in, looking like they¡¯d had some alcohol; they staggered in, supporting each other as they entered. Yue Zhishi spun around on his luggage and looked at them ¡ª he felt they were really like scraps of paper stuck to each other due to static electricity, wobbling here and lurching there and yet unable to come apart.


    For some reason, the system couldn¡¯t immediately find the room Song Yu had booked. The receptionist asked them to wait and got up to look for her manager, and the other male receptionist attended to the two newly arrived guests.


    Yue Zhishi watched the two of them with his head tilted sideways. He realised they were wearing matching earrings and necklaces, and even their clothes were very similar. Their lowered arms were left intimately next to each to each other, the backs of their hands grazing; it took some difficulty for their hands to find each other, but they very quickly separated.


    ¡°Do you have a room with a king bed?¡± asked one of the men, his head curved onto the other¡¯s shoulder. His words were a bit slurred from the alcohol. ¡°I want one with a window.¡±


    ¡°We do. Please wait.¡± The male receptionist took their identification documents and rapidly processed them, offering out their room card with both hands.


    The female receptionist helping Song Yu and Yue Zhishi with their booking finally returned and apologised to them. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, there was something wrong with the system. We can upgrade your booking to a double bed business suite with a balcony for free. It¡¯ll have two rooms.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s hand was resting on the marble desk, and he rejected coldly, ¡°No need. The previous one¡¯s fine.¡±


    ¡°I understand.¡±


    The two young men next to them stumbled towards the elevator, holding each other up. Yue Zhishi was like a small animal who¡¯d had his attention caught, gazing at them as he spun the luggage underneath him in the same direction they walked towards.


    The male receptionist who¡¯d helped them check-in smiled profoundly and hinted at that couple¡¯s relationship towards his female colleague. ¡°Tsk tsk, king size bed.¡±


    The female receptionist was actually helping Song Yu with a room with a king bed at this very moment, and she raised her head a bit awkwardly, meeting Song Yu¡¯s eyes. She then elbowed her colleague very apologetically and offered the room card to Song Yu. ¡°This is your room card. If there¡¯s anything you need, please let us know. We¡¯ll send up your luggage for you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was somewhat lost, his eyes flickering back and forth among the three of them. He saw Song Yu¡¯s cold eyes, and so he stood up in confusion.


    ¡°Do expensive hotels have a check-in condition that say two men can¡¯t book a room with a king size bed?¡± Taking the room card, Song Yu looked towards the male receptionist. The look on the man¡¯s face changed, and he went speechless.


    The female receptionist apologised again. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, there might be a misunderstanding. He wasn¡¯t referring to you.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not a misunderstanding.¡± There was no expression on Song Yu¡¯s face. He was immaculately dressed, and he looked both dignified and impersonal ¡ª yet the words that left his mouth left both workers completely stunned.


    ¡°We have the same relationship as those two men do.¡±


    The entire way into the elevator, Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t speak. Song Yu looked at him through the reflection on the glass walls, heart slightly hesitant, and finally couldn¡¯t help but say, ¡°Do you think I was too harsh?¡±


    ¡°Ah?¡± It was like Yue Zhishi had to pull himself from somewhere else in his mind. He looked at Song Yu, eyes confused. ¡°What did you say?¡±


    Song Yu took a step towards him, leaning in very closely. ¡°What are you zoning out about?¡±


    Yue Zhishi then stretched out his hands towards him, like a small child who¡¯d accidentally done something wrong and was now admitting his mistake to an adult; he unfolded his palms ¡ª there was a leaf lying in them.


    ¡°I thought it was a fake plant and accidentally plucked it off,¡± he said very softly to Song Yu, both his hands holding up that soft and fragile leaf.


    A laugh burst from Song Yu ¡ª he laughed at the reason for Yue Zhishi being so distracted and laughed at himself for being so oversensitive.


    ¡°Stop laughing at me.¡± Yue Zhishi asked him, ¡°Do you think that plant was expensive? It shouldn¡¯t be, right.¡±


    The elevator released a light ding, and its doors slowly slid open.


    Song Yu walked out with a faint smile on his face and deliberately teased him, ¡°I think it¡¯s a really rare plant. You should use your savings to pay them back.¡±


    Yue Zhishi followed behind him, sounding utterly wronged. ¡°No way, it took me a really long time to save all that money. I didn¡¯t even spend a single cent from last year¡¯s Lunar New Year money¡­¡±


    They headed down the corridor. When they reached the end, Song Yu used the room card to open the door, taking off his coat and hanging it in the closet at the entrance.


    Just as Yue Zhishi took a step into the room, all the lights in the entire room lit up at the same time. The room was mainly beige and caramel colours, and once it was illuminated by the warm lighting, it looked homely, warm and comforting.


    The room was very spacious, roughly around seventy square metres, and there was a glass window stretched from ceiling to floor behind the fluffy and soft-looking large bed. With the window misted by a layer of transparent rainwater, the night view of the Zhujiang River and Canton Tower was hazy yet resplendent ¡ª every single drip of water shimmered with kaleidoscopic colours.


    ¡°It¡¯s so beautiful.¡± Yue Zhishi took off his own coat, and he explored the warm room dressed in his white shirt. He noticed the bathroom had a super large bathtub, and it too had a ceiling to floor window. ¡°I definitely wouldn¡¯t live in a hotel like this by myself.¡±


    Song Yu headed towards him, and leaned against the sink in the roomy bathroom. He stood with his two legs relaxed and said something very taunting without any mockery in his voice. ¡°You can stay here for five days with your savings.¡±


    Seeing Yue Zhishi pivot his head around and stare at him with large, shocked eyes, Song Yu found him extremely adorable and opened his arms to him. ¡°Come here.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s too expensive,¡± Yue Zhishi rambled, but he obediently left the bathtub and walked towards Song Yu. He stood in between Song Yu¡¯s legs, his head sweetly lowered, and grabbed Song Yu¡¯s hands. ¡°We don¡¯t need to stay somewhere so nice. Those family suites we used to stay in when we were travelling were great too.¡±


    ¡°You mean the kind we used to live in with my mom and dad?¡± Song Yu tipped his head a bit to the side, his mouth crooking up; he pulled Yue Zhishi even closer until he could kiss Yue Zhishi as soon as he lifted his head. ¡°But they¡¯re not here right now.¡±


    Those words weren¡¯t all that suggestive, yet when they were spoken by Song Yu, Yue Zhishi¡¯s face started to heat up, vaguely sensing Song Yu was acting a lot more intimately now compared to during the day.


    ¡°Yes, they¡¯re not here¡­¡± He suddenly realised something and blinked. ¡°This is the first time we¡¯re staying in a hotel with just the two of us.¡±


    Song Yu nodded at Yue Zhishi¡¯s words. ¡°Yes.¡±


    Which was why they needed to stay in the best.


    Yue Zhishi removed the glasses on Song Yu¡¯s nose and placed them on top of the black marble sink. He then rested his two hands on Song Yu¡¯s neck, very affectionately and lovingly leaning his head onto Song Yu¡¯s forehead. ¡°How many days did you book? Can I pay for tomorrow?¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s hands were holding onto the back of Yue Zhishi¡¯s waist, and he rubbed the tip of his nose against Yue Zhishi¡¯s, inhaling the sweet smell of something like fruit candy.


    ¡°Don¡¯t use my inheritance so casually.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was amused by his joke so seriously spoken and gave his face a quick smooch. ¡°It¡¯s all for you, okay? I¡¯ll use just this little bit.¡± And then, he dropped his eyes, his eyelashes casting a shadow. ¡°I was originally saving it to buy you a present anyway.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t comprehend and asked him why he needed to buy a present.


    ¡°It¡¯s almost your birthday.¡± Yue Zhishi thought he was almost like an academic machine that had no joy or interest in life, even able to completely forget his own birthday. ¡°November 1st.¡± He then abruptly felt a bit of regret, saying, ¡°Should I have not told you, it would¡¯ve been a surprise that way.¡±


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter.¡± Song Yu¡¯s hands were clasping the sides of Yue Zhishi¡¯s waist, and he didn¡¯t show all that much interest in his birthday surprise. He only said, head lowering, ¡°We can still celebrate it early.¡±


    ¡°You really like celebrating early.¡±


    What I like is celebrating with you alone. Song Yu didn¡¯t say it out loud, and then he heard Yue Zhishi say, ¡°A few days ago, I looked at the stars and saw Scorpius¡¯s tail.¡±


    He said to Song Yu quite certainly, ¡°I should¡¯ve seen it correctly, I even took a photo of it and connected the constellation lines. It was Scorpius.¡±


    ¡°Jiang Yufan said Scorpios are all really cold and heartless, but I don¡¯t think you are.¡± Yue Zhishi had even spent over an hour online researching the sign. ¡°I later looked it up, and Scorpios are described as really¡­¡±


    Hearing his words pause, Song Yu raised his eyes and looked at him. ¡°Really what?¡±


    ¡°Mysterious, devious, very dominating and strongly possessive, have a strong sense of responsibility, filled with vitality, jealous and¡­¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes fluttered up, suddenly remembering, and said the final thing after meeting Song Yu¡¯s eyes with a bit of embarrassment, ¡°¡­sexual.¡±


    He felt a hand gliding under his shirt and skimming over his skin. Yue Zhishi found it ticklish, so he dodged a bit away ¡ª but Song Yu kept a firm hold on his waist.


    ¡°Do you think it¡¯s accurate?¡± Song Yu asked in a low voice.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s back turned slightly numb from Song Yu¡¯s stroking movements. It was like there was a layer of electricity on his back, and even his face started to flush. ¡°It¡¯s pretty accurate¡­¡±


    As though he wasn¡¯t doing anything, Song Yu queried, ¡°Which description¡¯s the most accurate?¡±


    ¡°They¡¯re all very accurate.¡± Yue Zhishi could feel a subtle chemical reaction in his body, but because he was completely surrounded by Song Yu, he had nowhere to escape.


    He was shocked by Song Yu¡¯s metal watchband, and he evaded away, softly saying, ¡°Your watch¡¯s really cold.¡±


    Song Yu then pulled out his hand, still remaining in his position of leaning back against the sink with his legs relaxed, and lifted his wrist, smoothly unfastening the band.


    After a tiny metal sound, that old watch slid down as fluidly as water and slipped between his fingers ¡ª it was like a button down shirt that had just been peeled off and placed onto a chair.


    Somehow, Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart suddenly started to run considerably faster. He tried to pull his gaze away from Song Yu¡¯s hand, attempting to calm himself down.


    ¡°Can I have my inheritance early?¡± Song Yu¡¯s dark eyes were focused on Yue Zhishi. He brought up his hand to ease his watch into the front pocket of Yue Zhishi¡¯s shirt.


    ¡°Huh?¡± Yue Zhishi was in a daze, thinking Song Yu meant his birthday present savings. ¡°Of course you can. It¡¯s all yours.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t answer so quickly. I¡¯m referring to the part you didn¡¯t mention.¡±


    Song Yu used one hand to undo the button at the very top of his own shirt once he finished speaking.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, I know you¡¯re afraid of disasters, but accidents happen very rarely. You won¡¯t leave this world that easily, so don¡¯t keep considering how you should pass on your ashes.¡±


    Yue Zhishi froze.


    How did he know¡­


    ¡°Rather than thinking about that, why don¡¯t you think more about your current self.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t understand what he was saying and blankly asked back, ¡°Current self? Why?¡±


    ¡°Because your lover is jealous, strongly possessive, very dominating and is filled with vitality, and he needs a partner who is very much alive.¡±


    Lifting a hand, Song Yu caught Yue Zhishi¡¯s chin and leaned in very, very closely ¡ª he wanted to kiss him, and yet he didn¡¯t, the distance between them caught on the edge.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart was about to jump out of his chest, and his fingertips were tingling; all of the skin that Song Yu had touched was burning, trembling.


    He realised in that moment: he didn¡¯t want to leave behind only a useless handful of dust. He wanted to give to Song Yu the warmth of his body, his flowing, gushing blood and every single inch of his skin.


    No one knew what would happen tomorrow. But when the person he loved most was standing right in front of his eyes, he didn¡¯t want to have any kind of tragic ending.


    Their noses met, and Yue Zhishi could pretty much feel Song Yu¡¯s warm breaths. Just a little bit further ¡ª he was waiting for Song Yu to kiss him.


    But Song Yu didn¡¯t. He lifted his eyes and connected them with Yue Zhishi¡¯s own.


    ¡°Say, what do you think that couple from earlier are doing right now?¡±

 CH 77

    Chapter 77: Attack of Heavy Rain


    Song Yu liked teasing Yue Zhishi since they¡¯d been children, because Yue Zhishi was pure, docile and unequivocally believed in him.


    No matter what he requested Yue Zhishi to do, Yue Zhishi would do it extremely happily and would even think being able to do something for him was an incomparable joy. When Song Yu realised this, he intentionally restrained his desire to ask for more ¡ª even though he truly longed to do so.


    He frequently worried over Yue Zhishi using such a pure heart to treat just anyone. Whenever he thought of that possibility, Song Yu became irritated, even agonised.


    Yue Zhishi had been born with a beautiful face that made people willing to get close to him and protect him; it lured you into intriguing, fanciful thoughts, yet it found any such conduct disgraceful. When he had been younger and secretly in love with Yue Zhishi, Song Yu had often felt anxious because of Yue Zhishi¡¯s displayed attachment to his older brother. If there was no way he could possess him, then Song Yu would rather Yue Zhishi never smile at him, never appear in front of him; he would rather they live like two completely unfamiliar strangers ¡ª and leave him a dignified way out.


    He¡¯d even gone as far to tell himself gloomily during sleepless nights: Yue Zhishi was actually a trap pretending to be innocent. The reliance, desire to please and warmth he displayed weren¡¯t targeted to anyone at all, and anyone who met him could also gain the illusion of being worshipped and loved. Wave after wave, everyone jumped in and was confined, just like him.


    On one hand, to an insane degree, he wanted to possess him; on the other hand, he kept continuously persuading himself to set Yue Zhishi free. For so many years, Song Yu¡¯s feelings had been so isolated from each other.


    And Yue Zhishi knew nothing of it.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­¡± Yue Zhishi practically breathed out his answer to Song Yu¡¯s question. He didn¡¯t know if his reaction was because he was feeling guilty for lying, or because he was nervous.


    He was clean like a piece of white paper. Any small movement from Song Yu could ramp up his temperature until he could be set on fire ¡ª the lightest touch, and he¡¯d ignite.


    Hearing Song Yu¡¯s question, Yue Zhishi inevitably had to think about that intimate couple and think about what they might be doing. But to be honest, he¡¯d already forgotten how they looked ¡ª all of the ardent and feverish visions in his mind contained only his and Song Yu¡¯s figures.


    They were overly close, the tips of their noses balanced against each other. The clean, pleasant-smelling fragrance on Song Yu¡¯s body bewitched Yue Zhishi and made him lean in closer; it was like a lure that was always guaranteed to succeed. His breathing grew uncontrollably heavier, and having not been able to wait for Song Yu¡¯s kiss, he couldn¡¯t help but press himself against Song Yu, attempting to fit their lips together.


    But Song Yu backed away.


    Confusion and the smallest bit of frustration appeared in Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes.


    ¡°Answer my question.¡± Song Yu stared at his eyes, voice exceptionally calm.


    Understanding that his intentionally vague answer didn¡¯t succeed, Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyelashes lowered before he lifted his eyes to look at Song Yu and said, faltering, ¡°¡­doing adult things.¡±


    There was some amusement in Song Yu¡¯s deep eyes. He raised a hand, his eyes falling to Yue Zhishi¡¯s lips, and crooked his knuckle to lightly scrape at Yue Zhishi¡¯s Adam¡¯s apple.


    ¡°What about you?¡±


    Yue Zhishi opened his mouth, his heart about to surge out of his chest. Song Yu¡¯s hand stretched around his throat, the strength of it very light ¡ª the web between his thumb and index finger caught onto the side of his throat, and the pad of his thumb gently rubbed against Yue Zhishi¡¯s soft skin. ¡°Do you want to?¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡± Yue Zhishi frankly admitted his own desire, easing over to press his lips against Song Yu¡¯s; this time, Song Yu didn¡¯t back away. The moment their lips merged together, Yue Zhishi¡¯s body faintly shivered. His hands went around Song Yu¡¯s neck by themselves, and he lowered his head, wanting to press himself even closer.


    He¡¯d eaten a piece of grapefruit flavoured candy earlier when they were waiting at the front reception desk, and it was now completely melted away. The residual sweet taste and pink colouring stained the tip of his tongue, and he used it to carefully, cautiously lick, trying to enter deeper. He didn¡¯t feel any resistance from Song Yu, so his tongue became a bit braver and touched the tip of Song Yu¡¯s tongue.


    Waves flowed in at the meeting of soft and damp flesh; the flavour of candy must be shared between lovers.


    Song Yu allowed Yue Zhishi to unskilfully kiss him and stroked Yue Zhishi¡¯s nape in encouragement. His other hand opened the lower buttons on Yue Zhishi¡¯s shirt, unfastening only three, and reached inside, gently brushing over the side of Yue Zhishi¡¯s delicate and soft waist.


    ¡°How is your waist so thin¡­¡± Song Yu murmured in between their lips. His voice was low and deep, but his hand kept gliding upwards, pushing that white shirt up to Yue Zhishi¡¯s ribs.


    Even though he was skinny, Yue Zhishi still felt supple and pliant in his hands ¡ª it was a wonderful sensation.


    Song Yu¡¯s thumb reached the already hardened nibs on his chest. Yue Zhishi twitched away, releasing a very indistinct moan.


    Song Yu hadn¡¯t touched this area before. Even during their previous intimacy, he had only pressed kisses into Yue Zhishi¡¯s skin, leaving behind some marks, but Yue Zhishi was even more sensitive than he¡¯d imagined ¡ª he was helpless at these feelings. And yet he wanted to please Song Yu, just like the first time he¡¯d taken Song Yu into his mouth.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s kiss became more needy, having gotten used to kissing with his tongue. Except the feeling of suffocation remained, especially when Song Yu¡¯s right hand was still wrapped around his throat as though that was the reason for his lack of air. The arteries in his neck pulsed actively as they kissed, steadily and continuously delivering warm blood under the pounding of his heart. Song Yu grasped it all in his hand.


    With only the fondling of Song Yu¡¯s hand, Yue Zhishi was already hard.


    His body started to weaken, and he sporadically called out gege during their long, wet kiss. He pitched entirely into Song Yu¡¯s arms.


    Song Yu pulled away his lips and tongue and gave him a very affectionate kiss on his nose. He smoothed a hand down Yue Zhishi¡¯s shuddering back like he was comforting him, but his movement had the opposite effect on Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°Gege¡­¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s light-coloured eyes were moist and very wide, and like a small animal¡¯s nose, his nose that¡¯d just been kissed was also damp. He leaned over, rubbing his lips against the corner of Song Yu¡¯s mouth like he was trying to coax him. ¡°Can we do it?¡±


    The answer he received was a dizzying, whirling embrace. Yue Zhishi was picked up, an arm under his legs and another around his back, and the ceiling¡¯s multicoloured sparks of light shined on him the entire way out of the bathroom until he was placed onto a soft bed. His pair of legs were half resting on the windowsill, and he felt faint and giddy from the glare of the room¡¯s overhead light.


    ¡°I should be asking a question like that.¡± Song Yu stood by the bed and bent forward, the shadow of his body enveloping Yue Zhishi entirely.


    His kiss arrived like heavy rain, smooth, wet lips and tongues tangling together. Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t think, and he didn¡¯t know how the buttons on his shirt were undone ¡ª his pale, almost glowing chest was revealed, and Song Yu¡¯s long and slender fingers played with his pink, flushing nipples.


    He started to find it hard to breathe, letting out uncontainable whimpers as they kissed. Freeing him somewhat, Song Yu allowed Yue Zhishi to smoothly pull in air while he himself lowered his head, his lips caressing from Yue Zhishi¡¯s earlobe to the side of his neck. He continued all the way down to Yue Zhishi¡¯s chest, and everywhere on the pale skin seemed to turn pink.


    Yue Zhishi had never experienced something like this before, where he was delighted at even unbearable suffering.


    He hazily raised his chest, as though wanting to feed his nipples into Song Yu¡¯s mouth, but Song Yu didn¡¯t pause for long and trailed downwards until his mouth reached the edge of his pants.


    Feeling Song Yu was about to do something, Yue Zhishi slightly shrunk backwards onto the bed, but Song Yu grabbed his knees and pulled him back down.


    ¡°Why are you running?¡± Song Yu deftly opened Yue Zhishi¡¯s pants. The white cotton underwear was already stained, and Yue Zhishi reached out a hand to cover it ¡ª but Song Yu forcefully caught his wrist. With his head lowered, he kissed Yue Zhishi¡¯s cock through his underwear and asked as a reminder, ¡°And yet you weren¡¯t afraid when you were doing this yourself?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was panting, and he blocked his eyes with the back of his hands, feeling his underwear being pulled down.


    The instant his cock was swallowed, his entire body shook; the sensations openly charged straight towards his cerebral cortex, and it made him feel insecure. He reached out, wanting to touch Song Yu, and both of his hands ended up being controlled ¡ª he became a robot that could only import pleasure.


    ¡°Gege¡­ gege¡­¡± The mouth that could always kiss him until he was about to suffocate was currently devouring a part of his body, that moist space extracting out his desire.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s scalp tingled every time he felt himself going in deep, but the higher his desire was fanned, the less he was able to be without Song Yu¡¯s embrace. So in the midst of his gasps, he continuously moaned, ¡°I can¡¯t¡­ hold me, I want you to hold me¡­ please, gege, hold me¡­¡±


    Song Yu was half kneeling on the carpet and wasn¡¯t planning on getting up, but Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice sounded too pitiful ¡ª it was originally a good opportunity to tease him, but in the end, he wasn¡¯t able to harden his heart. Pulling away, he sucked Yue Zhishi¡¯s balls and the skin between them in a particularly lewd way; he left behind a deeply red mark, and then he took off Yue Zhishi¡¯s white canvas shoes for him before standing back up.


    Yue Zhishi blinked open his eyes in a daze. Song Yu was standing with his back against the light, and he was still clean and orderly in his black shirt and dress pants. It would be believable if someone said he was about to participate in a conference ¡ª but in reality, he was making love, and even extremely aggressively.


    He came up and pressed onto Yue Zhishi, his left hand seizing Yue Zhishi¡¯s lower jaw. He forced Yue Zhishi to kiss him with an open mouth, his tongue plundering and licking inside like a kiss from a pornographic film. Yue Zhishi was given what he wanted ¡ª he wrapped his arms around Song Yu, his snow white hands leaving behind scratch marks on Song Yu¡¯s shirt. His breathing had only marginally recovered when Song Yu once again caught his cock.


    Song Yu was kissing him so lustfully, so erotically while moving his hand up and down his cock ¡ª Yue Zhishi nearly drowned under Song Yu¡¯s body, filled with all those sensations.


    Sometimes, Song Yu really enjoyed how Yue Zhishi looked with his air as thin as a gossamer thread; he enjoyed watching him turn red in the face, on the verge of suffocating, and then rescuing and kissing him like a vulgar hero.


    ¡°Ge¡­ ge¡­ I¡­¡± Yue Zhishi pretty much couldn¡¯t say any continuous words anymore, only able to push out single syllables. His hands tightly clutched onto Song Yu¡¯s back, and his snow white knuckles were touched with pink from using too much force, as if they were going to shred through the black cloth in the next second.


    But they didn¡¯t. In the next second, his fingers abruptly slackened ¡ª because he came.


    He came onto Song Yu¡¯s dress pants, his body unable to stop trembling, but Song Yu didn¡¯t stop moving his hand. Song Yu didn¡¯t stop until translucent cum completely trickled over his fingers and hand, and nothing else came out from the opening of that pink flesh.


    Getting up slightly, he smeared the cum on his hand onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s face, as well as those full lips gently swollen from kissing.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, you came everywhere.¡± His voice sounded a bit stern, as though he was blaming him. Those fingers coated with fluid were firmly pushed into Yue Zhishi¡¯s mouth, and they slowly thrust in and out, pressing against Yue Zhishi¡¯s tongue like they were simulating a blowjob. In a commanding voice, Song Yu said, ¡°Lick them clean.¡±


    ¡°Mm¡­.¡± Yue Zhishi was extraordinarily docile after coming, and he licked Song Yu¡¯s slender fingers. He sucked them with as much effort as he would a piece of candy, from one finger to two, spit dribbling out of the corner of his mouth without him realising.


    He didn¡¯t know when Song Yu pulled out his hand, a glittering thread following after it.


    ¡°Still want to continue?¡± Even though he could¡¯ve naturally carried on, Song Yu still asked.


    Torrential rain was once again pouring outside, and raindrops beat onto the ceiling to floor glass so high up in the air. The transparency, the suspension in midair ¡ª it was as though they were committing illicit sexual relations in the rain.


    ¡°Yes.¡± Yue Zhishi nodded in the midst of his pants. He wasn¡¯t satisfied with this kind of comfort; he needed a deeper union. He knew what that was.


    Whenever Yue Zhishi touched himself while thinking of Song Yu, he had already done it countless amount of times with Song Yu within his murky imagination.


    With his consciousness fuzzy from his orgasm, Yue Zhishi was stripped of his clothes. His pale skin dazzled the eyes underneath the lights, but every single joint was a pale pink colour except for a strip of purple on his knee that had yet to fade.


    Song Yu stared at Yue Zhishi. He was so contradictory ¡ª beautiful yet easily injured, traces from love and sex so effortlessly left behind. It was like he had been born with a human body that needed to be protected, and yet at the same time, it was suited for being cruelly treated.


    Still dazed, Yue Zhishi felt those fingers he¡¯d just sucked suddenly reach his butt, covered by a slippery paste. He opened his eyes in a bit of a fluster, and he saw an unopened condom in between Song Yu¡¯s teeth.


    His heart raced.


    One of Song Yu¡¯s hands was rubbing Yue Zhishi¡¯s entrance, while the other spread and held down his legs.


    The image simply just didn¡¯t match ¡ª Song Yu did the most obscene thing with his face that looked like it had no connection whatsoever with desire.


    ¡°Ge¡­ I want a kiss¡­¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s innate nature was no different from Yue Zhishi¡¯s; no matter how aggressive he was, his love for Yue Zhishi forever came first. He had no way of rejecting Yue Zhishi.


    His teeth opened, and that condom packet fell onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s soft belly, the jagged edges rasping against his skin.


    Song Yu kissed aggressively, and so were his commands ¡ª but he treated Yue Zhishi with the utmost patience and tenderness. He continuously used his kisses to lull and console Yue Zhishi as his fingers opened him up, telling him to relax, don¡¯t be afraid. The fingers inside gradually delved deeper in exploration, searching for the bit that could excite Yue Zhishi.


    Sexual reliance was still reliance ¡ª Song Yu wanted to possess that as well.


    At first, Yue Zhishi was very nervous, finding the feeling of being stretched as very strange and breathlessly begged Song Yu to enter. ¡°Don¡¯t do that anymore, just come in, gege¡­¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re too tight, you won¡¯t be able to fit me,¡± Song Yu said, adding in another finger. ¡°This way it won¡¯t hurt when we do it.¡±


    In reality, Yue Zhishi was willing for Song Yu to hurt him. To him, any feeling Song Yu imposed on him was good.


    Fingers slid in and out, the white paste melting into soft pink flesh; Yue Zhishi weakly called out Song Yu¡¯s name, called him gege, and reached out a hand to undo Song Yu¡¯s belt with unusual initiative. He pulled out the hard cock that was already bulging with veins, and it jumped in his hand as though it was alive.


    Song Yu was kissing his neck, and he thrust a few times once he felt Yue Zhishi holding him, as though he was fucking Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand.


    A layer of sweat covered Yue Zhishi¡¯s back. He held on, not daring to move.


    ¡°Put the condom on me.¡± The sound of Song Yu¡¯s authoritative voice hovered around his ear.


    ¡°Can we not use it?¡± Yue Zhishi very naively requested, lying underneath Song Yu¡¯s body. It was a request that extremely tested people¡¯s strength of will. ¡°We don¡¯t have to use it¡­¡±


    Song Yu felt sweat rolling down his back. ¡°No, we have to use it.¡±


    His voice slightly gentling, he kissed Yue Zhishi¡¯s lower lip. ¡°It won¡¯t be good for you. Behave.¡±


    Yue Zhishi lost himself in that too sweet kiss, and he turned obedient, nodding slowly twice before fumbling for the foil on his stomach.


    Song Yu was holding his own cock, nudging against Yue Zhishi¡¯s entrance with the tip of that large organ already spilling with fluid; it made Yue Zhishi unable to breathe normally, his breaths hitching.


    It was very difficult for him to tear open the packaging. The lube inside dripped onto his flat belly, flowing along his waist to leak onto the bed. He said a bit weakly, ¡°I¡¯ve opened it¡­¡± He then searched for Song Yu¡¯s cock, struggling ¡ª he was very unskilled with the movements, and he tried many times before barely managing to push the condom on. He fell backwards onto the pillows, breathing deeply.


    He felt like a lamb waiting to be slaughtered, sending himself under the sharp blade.


    Song Yu curved over and gave him a sweet kiss like a prize. ¡°Be a good boy and stretch out your tongue.¡±


    As Yue Zhishi obediently gave him his tongue in a kiss, Song Yu pushed into that well-stretched entrance. Only his tip had gone in, and yet Yue Zhishi whimpered into his lips, ¡°Big¡­¡±


    Song Yu clutched his inner thighs, pressing in a bit further ¡ª Yue Zhishi was ridiculously tight, and he could feel his cock imperceptibly jerking from the squeeze.


    ¡°This is just the start.¡± His voice had already changed.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s legs subconsciously wound themselves around Song Yu¡¯s body, and one of them was caught and placed onto Song Yu¡¯s shoulder. Song Yu pushed inside so slowly, little by little, his hand clenched onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s narrow and pale calf. Turning his face over, he kissed Yue Zhishi¡¯s ankle, his other hand kneading Yue Zhishi¡¯s butt.


    Once the sting from being entered gradually faded away, another kind of desire took over, and the sounds of Yue Zhishi¡¯s light and weak voice also changed. His head started to tilt backwards, his whole face flushed, and his entire person angled in Song Yu¡¯s direction. The curve of his arched back was mesmerising, and his naked body was utterly destroyed by pleasure, so hot it seemed to be dissolving.


    He kept whispering Song Yu¡¯s name among his unsteady gasps for air and wasn¡¯t quite willing to say anything else. When Song Yu¡¯s cock pushed into a certain place, Yue Zhishi suddenly called out ¡ª it was a very brief groan, and then he shook his head in distress, saying again and again he didn¡¯t want it.


    ¡°Here?¡± As though he was confirming something, Song Yu roughly fucked into that direction.


    The upper half of Yue Zhishi¡¯s body nearly flew up, and he sounded tearful and very pitiful as he said, ¡°Gege, don¡¯t press there¡­¡±


    Song Yu stroked Yue Zhishi¡¯s face. ¡°That¡¯s your prostate. You¡¯ll feel really good.¡± And then, he pressed Yue Zhishi¡¯s long legs open and mercilessly rammed into that spot, fucking Yue Zhishi so deeply his body shifted upwards on the bed. Yue Zhishi¡¯s head was practically buried into the pillows, and his voice fragmented from Song Yu¡¯s thrusts, that softened cock bobbing again and again and hitting against Song Yu¡¯s lower belly.


    It was raining violently outside the windows, stirring up the earth. Yue Zhishi¡¯s most sensitive place was almost smashed into pieces by Song Yu, and Yue Zhishi had an odd delusion in between his sexual pleasure and lack of oxygen. It was as though he was just an overripe persimmon being crushed by Song Yu until he no longer had a form, only a sweet and sticky red juice poured all over Song Yu¡¯s hands.


    Later, both of his legs were lifted onto Song Yu¡¯s shoulders. His entire body was like a bent folder, compressed underneath Song Yu¡¯s body; there was a pillow under his highly lifted waist, and Song Yu fucked his small, curled up body until Yue Zhishi could no longer speak clearly, heat and liquid gathering in his half-closed eyes.


    ¡°What did you say?¡± Song Yu panted, gripping Yue Zhishi¡¯s hips, and forced him to speak.


    Yue Zhishi was breathless from Song Yu¡¯s thrusts, and he sharply coughed a few times. He felt the strength of Song Yu¡¯s movements slightly decrease, and he struggled to speak clearly. ¡°Gege¡­ do, do you feel good?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± Song Yu¡¯s rough pants intermingled with the sound of water, and he lowered his head to kiss Yue Zhishi¡¯s nose and lips. ¡°What about you? You¡¯re so tight.¡±


    ¡°Mn¡­¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s hair was fluttering from the fierce onslaught; his eyes remained half-closed, and he foolishly smiled, using the most pure facial expression to say the most erotic words. ¡°I feel so good from gege fucking me¡­¡±


    Finding it hot, Song Yu pulled off his shirt and laid down sideways, embracing Yue Zhishi from behind. His arms slipped over to play with Yue Zhishi¡¯s nipples, and then he pushed in again into Yue Zhishi¡¯s body.


    ¡°Gege, I, I can¡¯t, it¡¯s too deep¡­¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t handle it anymore?¡± Song Yu sucked the mole on his nape. ¡°Then why did my cock slide right in.¡±


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, don¡¯t lie.¡±


    Yue Zhishi felt like an entire field of black was right in front of his eyes. His entire body was paralysed, as though it could no longer feel anything; he could only weakly pull in insubstantial air to save himself ¡ª their current sideways position made him feel like Song Yu could completely pierce him through.


    Song Yu had once used this very position to hug him to sleep, like a dependable and safe bed.


    But he could also use this position to feed devastating pleasure into his body.


    Yue Zhishi was all too familiar with the feeling of suffocation. He was used to not having enough air, used to experiencing the most extreme sensations in his body ¡ª even used to dying.


    But the suffocation Song Yu gave him was safe: there was no need for him to endure and get used to it ¡ª he could indulge himself in it, enjoy it as much as he wanted.


    ¡°Really, it¡¯s too deep, Song Yu, Song Yu¡­¡±


    ¡°Not calling me gege anymore?¡± Song Yu bit the small piece of flesh on his neck and somewhat fiercely sucked on it. ¡°You were such a good boy when you were younger. Do you remember what you used to call me?¡±


    Under Song Yu¡¯s hints, Yue Zhishi thickly called out Xiao Yu gege, and he spoke them as though he was actually a child, indistinctly and without any self-control.


    He was weak and fragile, very easy to control, and it tested and tortured Song Yu even more.


    ¡°You said you wanted to be Xiao Yu gege¡¯s girlfriend. Were you speaking truthfully?¡± Song Yu pressed his lips against Yue Zhishi¡¯s ear, the slap of his hips growing faster. ¡°Or were you lying as well.¡±


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t, I wasn¡¯t.¡± Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t get enough air, arguing back for himself without conscious thought. ¡°I wasn¡¯t lying¡­¡±


    ¡°What a good boy. And now you are.¡± Song Yu grabbed Yue Zhishi¡¯s tightly clenched hand and put it onto his own belly. Separated by a thin layer of skin and flesh, Yue Zhishi could almost feel the cock plunging in, jutting out again and again underneath his stomach. ¡°Can you feel it?¡±


    ¡°Mn¡­¡± Yue Zhishi was a bit scared, and he turned his head over in shame, his eyes seeing nothing but a vast expanse. He was practically unable to see Song Yu, yet he yearned to kiss him. ¡°Gege, kiss.¡±


    The kiss covered his broken moans, as well as his mind nearly fucked blank by Song Yu. He heard Song Yu¡¯s breathing grow increasingly heavier, and Song Yu fucked him into coming. He couldn¡¯t see anything, faint and dizzy, only sensing the rain outside the window falling harder.


    He felt Song Yu coming, pressing against his prostate and reluctant to finish. Song Yu left his lips on his nape for a long, long time.


    Song Yu had yet to completely soften, but Yue Zhishi was truly unable to continue ¡ª his physical strength couldn¡¯t keep up, and he couldn¡¯t do anything except breathe in large gasps of air. The mistaken impression of being once again rescued prior to dying lingered around him, his consciousness breaking away from his flushed and weak body.


    The rain ambushed the city, dragging the city into darkness. No plant was able to successfully puff for air, having been recklessly assaulted by the fierce rain; the typhoon swept in from the sea with the intention to gobble up everything and engulfed all the life within the dark city.


    Yue Zhishi liked torrential rain, liked the flavour of upturned soil in the air ¡ª it seemed to hint at nature pulsating with life, taken apart under the violence of the rain before being reborn.


    He heard phantom echoes under the sound of rain. His ears were surrounded by Song Yu¡¯s voice, the sound of it drifting both closely and far away.


    ¡°Not calling me gege anymore?¡±


    His voice had been very low, slightly hoarse.


    ¡°You were such a good boy when you were younger. Do you remember what you used to call me?¡±


    Under Song Yu¡¯s guidance, Yue Zhishi thickly called out Xiao Yu gege, and he spoke them as though he was actually a child, indistinctly and without any self-control.


    He saw himself as a child with Song Yu holding his hand, shoulders against each other as they walked in water under heavy rain.


    ¡°You said you wanted to be Xiao Yu gege¡¯s girlfriend. Were you speaking truthfully?¡± Song Yu pressed his lips against Yue Zhishi¡¯s ear. ¡°Or were you lying as well.¡±


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t, I wasn¡¯t.¡± Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t get enough air, arguing back for himself without conscious thought. ¡°I wasn¡¯t lying¡­¡±


    ¡°What a good boy,¡± he said, as though he was pronouncing a judgement. ¡°And now you are.¡±


    ¡°Mn¡­¡± Yue Zhishi turned his head over in shame. He was practically unable to see Song Yu, yet he yearned to kiss him. ¡°Gege, kiss.¡±


    He was vaguely aware of being wrapped up in clothing and being picked up. He curled in, hearing water, and felt warm steam clinging to the skin of his ankles. When he entered the water, Yue Zhishi sensed Song Yu calling out his name, tenderly pecking at his lips.


    ¡°Baobao, you¡¯re such a good boy.¡±


    Song Yu called him with an endearment he¡¯d never let out of his mouth, an endearment that he¡¯d perhaps recited many times within his heart.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s chest was still heaving, and he said to Song Yu very softly, ¡°I¡¯m not a good boy¡­ I love you.¡±


    He was too tired, directly falling asleep in the bathtub. Half awake and half dreaming, he let Song Yu clean him, and then he was carried out, cared for and treated like a newborn before being placed under a warm blanket. The rain outside the windows poured like it would never again stop, but Song Yu¡¯s embrace was warm and safe ¡ª it was the sole haven he wanted to go to. He wasn¡¯t scared at all.


    When the sky was about to brighten, Yue Zhishi woke up in a bit of a stupor. He was slightly dehydrated, mumbling that he wanted some water. Song Yu, who¡¯d always hated being bothered awake, woke up almost instantly; he got up to pour Yue Zhishi a cup of warm water and returned back to him, supporting Yue Zhishi¡¯s neck as he fed him the water.


    Yue Zhishi burrowed his way into Song Yu¡¯s arms very naturally once they laid back down. His arms went around Song Yu¡¯s waist, fitting their bodies together without a single gap in between as if they had depended on each other, protected each other just like that within their mother¡¯s body.


    He slept all the way to noon, and Song Yu was no longer by his side when he woke. All by himself in the large and empty bed, Yue Zhishi flipped over ¡ª he realised his whole body was aching like the remnants of a fever. He pressed the back of his hand against his forehead to check his temperature; there was no real difference.


    Just managing to sit up, Yue Zhishi pushed away the covers. He noticed the marks littered all across his body, as well as the faint bruises spread across his calves and hips that looked like they were left behind from being gripped too hard.


    ¡°Good thing it¡¯s not summer¡­¡± The words had just left his mouth when he realised even his voice was a bit hoarse; he awkwardly coughed twice, clearing his throat, and happened to see Song Yu coming out of the bathroom, dressed in a robe. Song Yu was tall and well built, the lines of his chest muscles still able to be faintly seen.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s first reaction was to cover himself with the blanket, exposing only his pair of eyes. A layer of moisture filmed his eyes, and he blinked meekly.


    ¡°We still need to head out later this afternoon, and yet you¡¯ve slept to now.¡± Song Yu walked towards him rather unhurriedly and sat down on the side of the bed.


    Yue Zhishi held onto the blanket and grumbled, ¡°That¡¯s not my fault¡­¡±


    He thought Song Yu would emphatically pull away his blanket, but he was mistaken. Leaning over, Song Yu delicately kissed Yue Zhishi¡¯s frail and slightly reddened and swollen upper eyelids.


    ¡°I seem to keep forgetting to say,¡± Song Yu used the pad of his thumb to gently massage Yue Zhishi¡¯s brow bone, ¡°your eyelashes are really beautiful. Your eyes are, too. They look like amber.¡±


    Being suddenly complimented, Yue Zhishi was somewhat delighted, so he loosened the hand that had been clutching onto the blanket and tumbled into Song Yu¡¯s arms. He squirmed against his neck and said, ¡°My waist¡¯s really sore, and so are my bones. Do I have a fever?¡±


    ¡°No. I¡¯ve checked.¡± Song Yu swept a hand down his back, taking all of the responsibility onto himself. ¡°Blame me.¡±


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t your fault.¡± Yue Zhishi inhaled the delicious scent of aftershave on his body and quietly said, ¡°You¡¯re really amazing, you¡¯re super amazing. I really like you.¡±


    A memory abruptly floated across his brain. Somewhat embarrassed, he hummed a bit and then raised his head to give Song Yu¡¯s chin a peck. Like he was pleading, he said, ¡°Gege, can you call me like that again?¡±


    ¡°Like how?¡± Song Yu watched him, an answer already in his heart, yet he deliberately pretended to not know.


    ¡°Like, like how you did at the end.¡± Yue Zhishi was slightly impatient, and he shamelessly bumped his forehead into Song Yu¡¯s chin again and again. ¡°Song Yu, hurry, call me.¡±


    Unable to resist him, Song Yu could only ease over to his ear, his lips touching the cartilage.


    His voice was still husky, and it carried a touch of tenderness within its awkwardness.


    ¡°Baobao.¡±


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t sound as nice as last night.¡± Yue Zhishi said very critically, pinching Song Yu¡¯s arm. He blinked his eyes, quite a playful expression on his face.


    Song Yu found him amusing, and he said with a cool voice, ¡°Are you disdaining me?¡±


    ¡°No, no no,¡± Yue Zhishi denied briskly. His eyes meandered over towards the storm outside the windows, watching the sky that had turned from black to white ¡ª the Canton Tower was still faintly visible within the wild spray of water.


    One night had already passed.


    Yue Zhishi came out from Song Yu¡¯s embrace ¡ª or perhaps, it was more like he pushed him away. He groped in all directions for his phone before finally finding it at the head of the bed.


    Song Yu hauled the blanket over him, worried he¡¯d be cold. ¡°Get back in, don¡¯t get sick.¡± Seeing Yue Zhishi so focused on his phone, he was slightly dissatisfied and reached out a hand, wanting to tug at his wrist like a cat unhappy at being ignored. ¡°What are you so busy with?¡±


    ¡°Wait, almost done!¡± Yue Zhishi wrestled with him, unwilling to let go of his phone. That pair of pure and innocent eyes blinked, staring at the lit up screen.


    Song Yu was about to express his discontentment with Yue Zhishi¡¯s phone addiction when he suddenly heard his own phone vibrate. It was a WeChat message from Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°What are you doing¡­¡± He¡¯d yet to finish speaking ¡ª the moment he saw the notification, a vein in his temple furiously throbbed.


    [Le Le: WeChat transfer 2000 RMB]


    ¡°It¡¯s last night¡¯s¡­¡± Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t even have the chance to finish saying the two words of ¡®room fee¡¯ when Song Yu caught his chin.


    Song Yu¡¯s voice sounded a bit scary.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, are you taking me for a prostitute?¡±

 CH 78

    Chapter 78: Utter Possession


    ¡°Prostitute?¡± Yue Zhishi looked at him in confusion, and then he abruptly realised what Song Yu meant. He frantically waved his hands at him. ¡°Ah, no, no¡­¡±


    Whenever he was anxious, he would always go to hug Song Yu, but Song Yu held onto his shoulders this time and pushed him away. ¡°Not allowed to hug me.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± Yue Zhishi pouted in dissatisfaction.


    With a complete poker face, Song Yu said, ¡°I¡¯m allergic to you.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re lying.¡± Yue Zhishi wanted to grab one of his arms, but Song Yu caught his arm instead. His other hand held onto the bottom edge of his phone, and he patted Yue Zhishi¡¯s face with it.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, don¡¯t change the conversation on me.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re really rich now, are you? Or am I too cheap?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not cheap!¡± Flustered, Yue Zhishi went to grab at Song Yu, but he accidentally pulled at Song Yu¡¯s bathrobe and revealed more than half of his shoulders. There were still scratch marks on them.


    Song Yu glanced down at himself and then raised his eyes again. Staring at Yue Zhishi, he said in a deep voice, ¡°What, you haven¡¯t had enough?¡±


    Yue Zhishi choked at that question and started to cough, flushing from his chest to his face. It took some effort to smoothen out his breathing, but then Song Yu pressed him down, hands on his shoulders, until he fell backwards onto the soft and fluffy pillows ¡ª but Song Yu didn¡¯t kiss him.


    A very mild fragrance of sandalwood blended with citrus diffused from Song Yu¡¯s aftershave. It was originally a very common scent, but it became particularly delicious once attached to Song Yu¡¯s skin. His eyes swept languidly across Yue Zhishi¡¯s face, looking like a danger signal.


    ¡°How many rounds can your savings pay for?¡± Song Yu¡¯s finger trailed down Yue Zhishi¡¯s nose and fiddled with Yue Zhishi¡¯s slightly swollen, faintly glistening lips very lightly. ¡°Four?¡±


    ¡°My lips are a bit sore,¡± Yue Zhishi mumbled quietly, dodging away from Song Yu¡¯s finger.


    ¡°Whose fault is that?¡± Song Yu¡¯s finger poked at a soft corner of his mouth. Sometimes when Yue Zhishi smiled, that place would deepen into a shallow little dimple.


    Yue Zhishi had nothing to say to that; he really had kept begging for kisses, and they¡¯d ended up kissing the entire time they were having sex. Perhaps he truly was different from other people, deeply needing to be held or to be kissed ¡ª the more he lost himself within Song Yu, the more he needed the confirmation of their intimacy. It would be best if those kisses didn¡¯t stop for a single moment.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, let¡¯s not look for the fabric anymore this afternoon.¡± Song Yu¡¯s hand had yet to stop, and it continued downwards, wrapping itself around Yue Zhishi¡¯s neck. The pads of his fingers rubbed against the deep red marks left on his skin. ¡°Let¡¯s finish spending all of your money today in one go. That way we won¡¯t have to do it again in the future.¡±


    Yue Zhishi immediately shook his head and strained to lift it higher, wanting to kiss Song Yu. But Song Yu evaded away, and so Yue Zhishi could only emphatically say, feeling sorry for himself, ¡°No, no way.¡±


    Song Yu raised his eyebrows and purposefully said, ¡°Or is it more important to look for your fabric?¡±


    Yue Zhishi dropped his eyes, his Adam¡¯s apple bobbing up and down unconsciously. He forced out another answer. ¡°No, I meant¡­ we¡¯ll be doing it again in the future.¡± His hand slid out from a corner of the blanket, and he¡¯d just put it onto the belt of Song Yu¡¯s bathrobe when Song Yu gripped onto his wrist.


    ¡°Just look at yourself right now.¡± Song Yu looked over him and placed Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand back into the blanket. ¡°Behave.¡±


    ¡°You were saying yesterday what a good boy I was, and now you¡¯re saying I¡¯m not behaving.¡± Yue Zhishi coughed twice, shrinking back into his blanket. ¡°Song Yu, you¡¯re so mean.¡±


    After standing up, Song Yu towered over him and adjusted his bathrobe. He said, looking down at him from up high, ¡°I¡¯m going to tie you up if you keep talking.¡±


    Yue Zhishi closed his mouth, but then he reached out an arm again after two seconds, raising it like a little child towards his teacher. ¡°Final thing. The money I transferred you is for the room. Let me pay for the first day.¡±


    Song Yu turned around, saying calmly and leisurely, ¡°I¡¯m going to get a rope.¡±


    ¡°Hey hey hey, don¡¯t, I¡¯ll stop talking now okay¡­¡±


    When Yue Zhishi got off the bed to clean up, he realised his legs were trembling; he¡¯d taken only two steps when he crouched and simply sat down on the carpet, not saying anything or making any noise. Behind him, Song Yu was checking his emails at his laptop, and when he saw Yue Zhishi sitting on the floor, he walked over and asked what was wrong.


    ¡°It¡¯s aching a bit¡­¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s ears were red, and he hugged his lower belly, face slightly scrunching up.


    ¡°Where?¡± Song Yu picked him up from the floor, arms sliding behind the back of Yue Zhishi¡¯s knees, and headed towards the bathroom.


    ¡°¡­I feel like I¡¯m aching everywhere.¡± Yue Zhishi touched his chest. ¡°My throat, lower belly, legs and¡­¡± He cleared his throat, vaguely insinuating the rest.


    ¡°I¡¯ve already put some cream on there for you, it shouldn¡¯t be too much of an issue.¡± Song Yu lowered him in front of the sink, steadying him.


    At that moment, Yue Zhishi saw the cup readied for him, a toothbrush with a squeeze of toothpaste on it resting on top. He tilted his head and looked at Song Yu. ¡°How are you so good.¡±


    Song Yu stiffly turned his face away. ¡°It was just convenient.¡±


    Hearing Yue Zhishi¡¯s still somewhat hoarse voice, Song Yu reached out a hand and very gently touched Yue Zhishi¡¯s lower belly.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t think much of his touch; instead, he suddenly realised he lost one of his slippers when Song Yu picked him up. He nimbly stepped onto Song Yu¡¯s cotton slippers ¡ª this way, Song Yu wouldn¡¯t be able to walk away.


    ¡°I went too hard on you,¡± Song Yu said very quietly, sounding much more gentle compared to just then.


    But Yue Zhishi actually didn¡¯t mind ¡ª he placed his hand onto Song Yu¡¯s, words coming out garbled as he continued brushing his teeth. ¡°It¡¯s fine, I¡¯m super hard to kill.¡±


    That sentence didn¡¯t sound right no matter how he listened to it. Song Yu didn¡¯t speak, letting Yue Zhishi step on him as he wished, eyes gazing at the Yue Zhishi in the mirror. There was a small hickey on the skin behind Yue Zhishi¡¯s ear, and it faintly peeked out from his hair.


    The hotel¡¯s room service wasn¡¯t too bad ¡ª Song Yu ordered a lightly flavoured porridge and some small snacks Yue Zhishi could eat, as well as a large plate of fruit.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s body was currently lacking in nutrients, and he was extremely hungry; he shovelled in the large bowl of hot porridge and felt much better.


    But it really was mild and lightly flavoured. Too mild.


    He pointed at the rain outside, the colour of his voice different from usual. It was a little husky, as though he¡¯d truly matured from being a little child, but the words he spoke were very childish. ¡°During weather like this, we should be eating hotpot.¡±


    Stabbing a fork into an apple slice that¡¯d been cut into the shape of a bunny, Song Yu plugged up his mouth.


    The rain had lessened slightly by 1:30pm, but the wind was still very strong. Song Yu pulled his own woollen turtleneck sweater over Yue Zhishi¡¯s body with the excuse of keeping his throat warm in order to prevent an asthma attack. He fussed with the neck, covering up all of the leftover marks.


    They came out of the hotel, and the taxi they¡¯d called earlier was already waiting in front of the financial centre building¡¯s revolving door. Holding up an umbrella, Song Yu kept Yue Zhishi shielded in his arms and took him into the car.


    The address for the fabric shop wasn¡¯t too far away. The driver was a young man, and he said that place was Guangzhou¡¯s largest, most international fabric wholesale market.


    When he talked about how international it was, he specifically glanced a few times at Yue Zhishi¡¯s face from his rearview mirror. Yue Zhishi and Song Yu each wore one piece of a pair of bluetooth earbuds, and Yue Zhishi was leaning on Song Yu, head lowered at his phone. The wipers brushed back and forth on the car¡¯s windshield. Song Yu was a bit irritated.


    ¡°Handsome boy, are you mixed or a foreigner?¡± the driver finally asked.


    Yue Zhishi raised his head, not having clearly heard what he¡¯d said. He was about to take off his earbud, but Song Yu pressed down his hand and said, face cold, ¡°Chinese and English mixed.¡±


    The driver nodded repeatedly and took the chance to take a few more looks at Yue Zhishi¡¯s face while his head was lifted. ¡°Oh, no wonder you look so good. Your eyelashes are longer than some girls¡­¡±


    ¡°The light¡¯s green now,¡± Song Yu interrupted, as indifferent and detached as a robot in charge of voice announcements. ¡°There are higher chances of getting into a traffic accident during the rain. Please focus on driving.¡±


    Yue Zhishi had no idea at all about what was happening, and so he lowered his head back down and continued reading his manga chapters. A few seconds later, he felt Song Yu loosen his hand; Yue Zhishi grabbed it back, refusing to let Song Yu move away, and massaged Song Yu¡¯s knuckles as he continued to read.


    ¡°Aren¡¯t you afraid of ruining your eyes.¡± Even though he meant to reproach Yue Zhishi with those words, Song Yu¡¯s voice was far too gentle when speaking to him.


    Without even bothering to lift his head, Yue Zhishi clicked onto the next page. ¡°They won¡¯t be ruined, this manga is updated monthly. I can only read it once a month.¡±


    Completely not on the same train of thought at all. Song Yu looked out the window, the car now much quieter without the driver¡¯s attempts at chatting Yue Zhishi up. They arrived at the marketplace not much longer later, and Yue Zhishi said thank you to the driver very politely before closing the door and jumping under Song Yu¡¯s umbrella.


    The overall area of the marketplace was quite large, made from many buildings stuck together. There were many fabric shops inside. Looking at the address Yue Zhishi gave him, Song Yu quickly found that particular fabric shop and took Yue Zhishi over.


    This particular fabric shop was the largest on its floor, its space broad and roomy. Multiple rows of shelves were installed inside, and they were brimming with all different kinds of fabrics and generally filed according to colour. The name, factory manufacturer and price of each fabric were labelled below. It was an endless, dazzling collection, and yet everything was organised very neatly.


    ¡°Are you feeling like you¡¯ve arrived in heaven?¡± Yue Zhishi attempted to interview Song Yu, someone suffering from OCD, but Song Yu wasn¡¯t really interested in the fabrics; he directly walked towards the person who looked most like the shop manager.


    ¡°Hello, I¡¯d like to buy a particular fabric.¡± Song Yu didn¡¯t bother circling around, bluntly saying what he was after. There wasn¡¯t much expression on his face.


    The staff member was a middle-aged woman, and she looked at Song Yu in consideration. He was wearing a long classic heather grey Chesterfield coat with a black cashmere turtleneck. They both looked well made using quality fabrics, and his entire outfit looked expensive. People who worked in fabric manufacturing and clothing production knew how to gauge someone ¡ª a simple glance over your clothes, and they would already have an idea of your potential.


    She said, a welcoming smile on her face, ¡°Welcome, sir. I manage this store ¡ª my surname is Chen. May I ask which fabric you were after? We¡¯re the largest supplier in this marketplace, and many big businesses specifically fly over to discuss custom fabrics with us.¡± She looked over and pointed at those never-ending shelves. ¡°This is only a small selection. We still have many more fabrics in our warehouse.¡±


    Song Yu glanced back at Yue Zhishi, who then immediately, cheerfully named the fabric. ¡°Hi, Manager Chen. We talked earlier on the phone, and you said this particular fabric was no longer being made. Do you have any stock here?¡±


    Manager Chen used an iPad to check, and it showed that they did have that particular fabric ¡ª but it was low in stock and was unable to be retrieved. ¡°Please wait, let me contact the warehouse. We don¡¯t have it here in our shop.¡±


    Song Yu faintly dipped his head, his two hands resting in the pockets of his coat, and stood there with an impassive look on his face. Yue Zhishi explored the fabrics nearby and touched them, recording them down on his phone before running back to tug at Song Yu¡¯s sleeve. ¡°That ash grey silk¡¯s really nice too, we can use it to make the dress Xiao Qi designed.¡±


    Song Yu gave him a sideways look, mildly saying, ¡°It¡¯s not like you don¡¯t have enough money. No need to report back to me.¡±


    Yue Zhishi immediately pouted, crinkling his nose. ¡°I don¡¯t have any money.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s slender fingers pressed a few times on his phone, and then he pulled up the WeChat transfer record to show Yue Zhishi. He countered, ¡°Really?¡±


    He didn¡¯t accept the transfer, and neither did he reject it, only leaving it hanging in limbo. Yue Zhishi silently grumbled: as expected, this guy did everything the same way, able to fish better than a cat.


    ¡°I¡¯m really poor,¡± Yue Zhishi softly said. ¡°2000 each time is too expensive, I can¡¯t play like that.¡±


    Song Yu keenly caught his specific wording and flicked an eyebrow. ¡°Who¡¯s playing whom?¡±


    Another worker walked up to them before Yue Zhishi could explain. It was a young lady, and she¡¯d stood not too far away earlier. She knew which fabric Yue Zhishi wanted from them, and she brought over similar fabrics, giving them a polite greeting and asking if any of the ones she was holding could serve as a suitable replacement.


    Yue Zhishi took the fabrics under the light, seriously looking over them, and then sent photos of them to their group chat. He also took a magnifying glass from the worker, closely examining the fabric textures.


    He came to the same conclusion as everyone else in the group chat ¡ª none of these fabrics could be used as a replacement. They all lacked that specific glossy, glistening quality, that particular feel of having silver threads running through it without actually using silver threads.


    ¡°Thank you.¡± Yue Zhishi gave the fabrics back to her and then returned back to Song Yu¡¯s side.


    The worker said you¡¯re welcome, looking over the two of them with her arms wrapped around the stack of fabrics. Her eyes landed on Song Yu, and then after a pause, she couldn¡¯t help but ask, ¡°Sir, did you come specifically to look for fabric materials?¡±


    Yue Zhishi suddenly thought things didn¡¯t seem quite right ¡ª it felt like the staff had mistaken Song Yu as a representative for some clothing manufacturer. Looking over, he thought Song Yu had dressed very business-like; other than his face being overly young, it would definitely be easy to misconstrue him.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t reply, and the worker didn¡¯t find it too strange, only turning to Yue Zhishi and asking with a smile, ¡°Are you the assistant? Or secretary? I feel like you¡¯re very young ¡ª you might be even younger than me.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ I, I¡¯m actually¡­¡± Yue Zhishi wanted to explain after being misunderstood, but Song Yu abruptly chuckled and caught his attention.


    It was as though he was quite interested in the set up of a young director with his little secretary.


    ¡°Our relationship¡¯s not like that,¡± Yue Zhishi attempted to say, but Song Yu calmly cut off his words and said, ¡°He is quite young.¡±


    An understanding look passed over the worker¡¯s face. Yue Zhishi jumped to consult her about other fabrics, chose a few and then decided to purchase them directly from the store.


    ¡°We normally don¡¯t take orders for less than 500 metres.¡± The lady glanced at Song Yu. ¡°If you head back and think our samples have good results, please return and take care of us.¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought in his heart, he most likely wouldn¡¯t be able to take care of you ¡ª he might¡¯ve been born with a face meant for commercial dealings, but in reality, he was someone who picked up rocks.


    Picking around, Yue Zhishi ended up choosing a large bunch of fabrics, and he felt like he didn¡¯t bring enough funds to cover the entire cost. He started to ask the worker if he could have a discount, voice carrying a bit of cute whining, but Song Yu stopped him.


    ¡°I¡¯ll cover the rest if you don¡¯t have enough.¡±


    Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t really happy ¡ª it was his own boyfriend¡¯s wool being sheered off, after all. But his attention was caught by another plank of fabric in the worker¡¯s hand; a slightly velvety type of fabric lay on top, cut into one metre ribbons the width of three fingers, and there were all sorts of colours.


    ¡°This is?¡±


    ¡°Ah, this is our newest product. It¡¯s a satin velvet material that¡¯s extremely soft to the touch ¡ª many famous women clothing designers have already ordered this fabric from us for their high-end clothing lines.¡± The worker pulled out the black strip, handing it to Yue Zhishi. ¡°Have a feel. It¡¯s very luxurious on the skin, and it won¡¯t whiten no matter how you stroke it.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s true, it¡¯s so soft and comfortable.¡±


    Yue Zhishi draped the black ribbon over his pale wrist. Seeing the sharp colour contrast, a certain fantasy popped up in Song Yu¡¯s mind.


    ¡°Let me gift this to you.¡± A young girl¡¯s smile emerged on the worker¡¯s face. ¡°I think if your hair grew out a bit longer to your shoulders, you¡¯d look really nice using this as a tie.¡±


    Yue Zhishi smiled as well, that little dimpled shadow once again appearing next to his mouth. He very cutely grabbed a bit of his not-long-enough hair and said, ¡°Really? Then thank you.¡±


    The worker packed up all the fabrics he¡¯d purchased, and only then did Manager Chen return; Yue Zhishi could tell from the expression on her face that she wasn¡¯t coming back with good news.


    ¡°I apologise,¡± Manager Chen said. ¡°We originally had a sample around 500 metres, and it was our last batch. This particular fabric is expensive to make, and because there wasn¡¯t enough demand for it, we decided to stop producing it. It was left for another clothing manufacturer ¡ª he supposedly likes to collect discontinued fabrics ¡ª and it was taken away just yesterday.¡±


    ¡°I see.¡± Yue Zhishi was slightly regretful. No wonder the owner of this particular fabric shop kept saying they couldn¡¯t sell it ¡ª someone else had booked it earlier.


    After seeing the crestfallen look on Yue Zhishi¡¯s face, Song Yu opened his mouth despite not speaking for so long. ¡°Could we get that clothing manufacturer¡¯s contact information?¡±


    Manager Chen was initially very hesitant to do so, but the young man in front of her gave off a trustworthy feeling of pressure. It was a very strange description, but that was truly what she felt; in the end, she still clarified and said, ¡°You might not be able to get into contact with him. This particular clothing manufacturer¡¯s a bit troublesome, he nitpicks over the smallest little detail. He¡¯s Vice President Zhou from Mingshang Company.¡±


    ¡°Mingshang¡­¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s memory was a bit fuzzy, and it was Song Yu who immediately realised.


    ¡°What a coincidence, we have his contact number.¡±


    Yue Zhishi plucked at his sleeve, asking very softly, ¡°Do we¡­¡±


    ¡°Yes, his business card¡¯s in your bag.¡± Song Yu bid farewell to Manager Chen and took Yue Zhishi away. As they went down in the elevator, Yue Zhishi stared at the business card Song Yu had found so easily, asking, ¡°How¡¯d you remember this?¡±


    I remember every man or woman who tries to chat you up. Song Yu didn¡¯t say that out loud, having found a more appropriate excuse. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you be asking yourself instead how you managed to forget everything that happened yesterday?¡±


    As expected, Yue Zhishi was made speechless by his question. He silently pulled out his phone, calling the number; it was still raining, and he stood in front of the glass door on the first floor, dialling the number twice before the other side finally picked up.


    ¡°Is this Mr. Zhou Chengwei? I¡¯m not sure if you still remember me, I¡¯m the guy who was next to you on the plane and bumped into you on the bullet train¡­ Yes, yes, the mixed race. Ah, it¡¯s good you still remember me.¡±


    Song Yu stood by the side, watching as Yue Zhishi happily talked on the phonewhile doodling on the fogged up glass door. There was almost no difference between him now as an adult and him as a child.


    At five, six years old, Yue Zhishi had also really liked scribbling characters on glass. He¡¯d particularly loved writing the ¡®yu¡¯ character from Song Yu¡¯s name, but the character had been slightly difficult for him as a child ¡ª which was why every time he¡¯d written their names next to each together, that ¡®yu¡¯ character had always been exceptionally big. Yue Zhishi had been able to justify himself very well: he said that character was the largest because it was the most important one. Xiao Yu gege was his most important person.


    That small kid with a mouth full of sweet and honeyed words within his memories gradually overlapped with the grown boy in front of his eyes. Song Yu let out a soft laugh, his eyes lowering.


    Who knew how many people he¡¯d managed to fool with his ability to coax with fake words.


    Yue Zhishi finished his phone call much faster than he¡¯d thought he would and ran back to Song Yu. He clutched his phone in utter excitement and said, ¡°He agreed!¡±


    ¡°How¡¯d you coax him?¡± Song Yu raised an eyebrow.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t notice his tone, only shaking his head. ¡°I didn¡¯t, I just told him my situation. He agreed to send us half of the fabric with one small request. He requested for me to send him one set of the clothes we make using the fabric.¡±


    Song Yu carelessly nodded his head. ¡°Then the problem¡¯s solved.¡±


    ¡°Yes. My waist¡¯s so sore, and I¡¯m so hungry.¡± Without much regard for the people around them, Yue Zhishi hooked his arms around Song Yu¡¯s neck, his entire upper body leaning against Song Yu. His voice softened, turned docile. ¡°Gege, can you take me to eat something delicious? I want to eat roast goose and coconut milk pudding.¡±


    Thinking of how he¡¯d also used that same tone of voice to discuss prices with other people, Song Yu threw him a look and didn¡¯t place his hands on Yue Zhishi¡¯s waist like he usually would. He deliberately said, ¡°Sure, I¡¯ll pay for the food with the prostitute fee you gave me.¡±


    One person walked past, and Yue Zhishi flew to cover Song Yu¡¯s mouth. He said, very very softly, ¡°That¡¯s not¡­¡± He stressed again, ¡°That¡¯s for the room.¡±


    ¡°Same thing.¡±


    Since Song Yu was still going on about it, Yue Zhishi secretly labelled him with the description of ¡®cute¡¯ in his heart.


    ¡°It¡¯s not the same,¡± Yue Zhishi said, his voice gentle and breathy. ¡°It¡¯s not like we stay in hotels every day¡­¡± And then, realising it was a bit hard to continue along that topic, he changed tactics and said, ¡°Can you be free? I can¡¯t afford paying that much money.¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Song Yu pushed him away, face cold and unfeeling. ¡°I refuse to prostitute for free.¡±


    Yue Zhishi let out an ¡®oh¡¯. ¡°Then I¡¯ll have to earn lots and lots of money. I¡¯ll have to become a big shot lawyer.¡±


    Can you really tell other people that¡¯s your reason to become a big shot lawyer?


    Song Yu was both annoyed and amused; he lowered his eyes and suddenly saw that gifted ribbon. Half of it had come out of their bag of fabrics, and it was moving, blown by the cold wind drifting in after opening the door. He reached out and pulled it out, carefully inspecting it ¡ª he was once again reminded of a small, trifling thing that had displeased him.


    ¡°This really suits you.¡±


    Without waiting for Yue Zhishi to speak, Song Yu caught Yue Zhishi¡¯s wrists and unfastened his watch. He held both of Yue Zhishi¡¯s wrists in one hand, and then he used that black ribbon to bind them up, gripping onto the remaining length.


    That velvet cloth lightly strangled Yue Zhishi¡¯s pale and thin skin, as though it could obstruct the flow of blood within those blue and green veins. Song Yu tugged, and Yue Zhishi staggered forward a step from the pull while trying to understand what was happening. He almost fell completely into Song Yu¡¯s arms.


    The people walking past started to look at them, and Yue Zhishi felt somewhat uneasy. He softly called out gege and said, ¡°Why¡¯d you tie me up?¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t answer, directly exiting out of the main entrance while continuing to tug at Yue Zhishi. The rain outside had temporarily stopped, and there was humidity in the air. The ribbon was the only thing linking him and Song Yu together ¡ª with his pair of hands bound and raised, Song Yu dragged him into the thick fog and into a black car waiting by the side of the road.


    Once they entered the car, Yue Zhishi felt like he was being stared at by the driver; the closed-off, narrow space made his sense of embarrassment even heavier, and it felt dense and weighty on his body ¡ª he couldn¡¯t move. Song Yu closed the car door, still holding onto that black ribbon.


    Yue Zhishi turned his head to him, using a knee to nudge at Song Yu¡¯s knees. He leaned over and whispered, ¡°Are we going to go eat like this?¡±


    Song Yu pushed up his glasses and leaned back into his seat. ¡°Mn.¡±


    ¡°It really won¡¯t be convenient to have my hands tied up, unless you feed me,¡± Yue Zhishi grumbled very softly.


    ¡°I can do that,¡± Song Yu said without any inflection in his voice.


    ¡°But I¡¯m not a kid.¡±


    Song Yu tugged at his wrists, hauling Yue Zhishi slightly closer, and then seemed to stroke his hair very tenderly from the top of his head to the vaguely curly ends. It was just like what that worker¡¯d said: his hair wasn¡¯t long enough. The length of it was only just enough to obscure his vision with sweat dampened hair during intense activity.


    The image of Yue Zhishi with his hair tied up appeared in his mind for a moment ¡ª he didn¡¯t want too many people to see it.


    Song Yu opened his mouth, the sound of his voice very much bewitching and mesmerising.


    ¡°Baobao, it¡¯s about time for you to cut your hair.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Little Desire is truly super S, he was relatively restrained last night ( )

 CH 79

    Chapter 79: Lost in the Eye of the Storm


    That endearment left Yue Zhishi faint and woozy the entire time up until they got off the car, his entire brain feeling warm and flushed. He was originally an obedient child to begin with, and he became even more docile after turning silly and foolish, letting Song Yu tug him forward however he wished.


    There weren¡¯t that many people on the streets, and so Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t feel too embarrassed. He kept replaying in his mind how Song Yu had looked when he called him baobao, like a hamster who¡¯d hidden away nuts in his cheeks, furtively taking them out and savouring them with small nibbles when no one was around.


    But before they entered the restaurant, Song Yu still ended up untying the ribbon around his hands, slowly and leisurely folding it up and putting it away. The restaurant was packed with people, and there were two, three young men and women waiting for taxis at the entrance. Once they saw Yue Zhishi, they gave him a few more glances.


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you say you were going to keep me tied up for dinner?¡± Yue Zhishi pressed himself against Song Yu¡¯s arm, leaning on him as they went up the steps. ¡°You¡¯re not going to feed me anymore?¡±


    Song Yu looked at the self-satisfaction on Yue Zhishi¡¯s face that he couldn¡¯t quite hide, and his mouth unconsciously curled up several degrees.


    ¡°That needs to be paid for, big shot lawyer.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll have lots of money in the future, I can afford it.¡±


    It was a large restaurant, decorated according to Chinese customs; it was even slightly decorated according to the style of a Lingnan garden. Yue Zhishi only noticed the place was a bit familiar after entering their private room ¡ª he carefully thought about it, and then he realised this was one of the restaurants he saw listed in the Black Pearl Restaurant Guide when he was researching where to eat.


    ¡°How¡¯d you know about this place?¡± Yue Zhishi asked.


    Song Yu was ordering food with the ease of long practice, and then he closed the menu, handing it to the waiter, before quietly talking to her about allergies, dietary restraints and other things. He waited for the waiter to leave before looking at Yue Zhishi. ¡°Your memory really isn¡¯t all that good.¡±


    ¡°Have I talked about this place before?¡± Yue Zhishi frowned, not remembering.


    ¡°On the bullet train,¡± Song Yu said.


    Yue Zhishi had a vague impression of doing so. He had likely mentioned it only in passing ¡ª after all, there wasn¡¯t much logical flow in his words when he was mindlessly chattering away.


    But Song Yu was like a machine able to save memories at any place and at any time. There were some small, trifling things that Yue Zhishi found insignificant and essentially wouldn¡¯t remember at all ¡ª and yet Song Yu would forever be able to clearly point them out, even able to remember the time and place they were first mentioned.


    He¡¯d thought that was because Song Yu was smart, born with innate ability.


    The waiter pushed the door and entered, carrying in her hands not only a white porcelain teapot but also a square cushion. Song Yu turned his head to look at her and pointed at Yue Zhishi; the waiter immediately understood and walked over. She asked Yue Zhishi to first get up, and then she placed the cushion onto the chair. ¡°Sir, please sit.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s ears were still warm by the time the waiter left and closed the door ¡ª he wanted to say something, but he was too embarrassed to say it. The two of them sat at the ends of the table, separated very far, and Yue Zhishi chucked whatever table manners he had to the side, moving his chair next to Song Yu¡¯s side.


    Perhaps it was because the Song family¡¯s family upbringing was relatively casual and gentle; whenever everyone ate together, all of them needed to sit together. Even though their house was very large, they all preferred to sit around a small circular dining table.


    Yue Zhishi was used to sitting next to Song Yu. When he¡¯d first entered elementary school, there was a period of time when he had been required to stay at school for lunch and the afternoon break. Six year old Yue Zhishi had lined up together with his classmates, letting the auntie at the cafeteria place food into his insulated bowl, and had then followed his classmates to sit and eat at a rectangular table.


    But Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t known different grades needed to be stay separate. He kept refusing to let other children sit next to him, pressing his palm onto that stool as he looked around for Song Yu.


    He later saw Song Yu appear in another group. Song Yu was carrying his food together with some other people, and he walked towards another seat as far away from Yue Zhishi as two corridors before sitting down. No matter how Yue Zhishi waved or called at him, Song Yu didn¡¯t come over.


    Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t a child easily discouraged. He tried to lift and carry away his stool, but after pulling at it for a long time, he realised the stool was attached onto the floor, unable to be moved. So in the end, he carried away only his food and ran through the crowd until he reached Song Yu and placed his bowl of food onto Song Yu¡¯s table with a clatter.


    At that time, Song Yu had acted just like his other classmates did: he¡¯d lifted his head to look at him in confusion.


    ¡°Why are you here? Go back to your class.¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head. ¡°I want to eat with you.¡±


    He had been a very strange child, preferring to stand next to Song Yu instead of going back. He stood there and scooped up his food with his spoon, obediently eating his meal one mouthful at a time.


    Song Yu saw the teacher on patrol and uselessly urged him to go back several times.


    ¡°Aren¡¯t you tired standing there?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Yue Zhishi vaguely said, conveniently slipping down and pushing his way onto Song Yu¡¯s stool. Except his butt took up only a small sliver, and he continued to eat while hugging his bowl.


    Song Yu¡¯s classmates teased Song Yu, even saying, ¡°Aiyah, just hug your little brother while you eat.¡±


    ¡°Exactly, he¡¯s so cute.¡±


    Yue Zhishi even knew to say thank you very politely to the people who praised him for being cute. But as Song Yu hesitated, pondering whether or not he should pick Yue Zhishi up, the teacher on patrol appeared and dragged Yue Zhishi back to his first year class.


    Just like he usually did, Yue Zhishi cried, but he didn¡¯t wail and bother other people. Tears simply dripped out of his eyes very quietly. He refused to put his bowl on the table and hugged it ¡ª this way he could turn his body around and gaze in Song Yu¡¯s direction. He cried as he ate, stubbornly staring at gege.


    Yue Zhishi cried every day at noon. Song Yu was already a picky eater, and now it was even harder for him to eat; no matter how he pretended, he still saw Yue Zhishi. Fortunately, their school later removed its requirement of eating lunch at school, and they returned home for lunch together ¡ª only then did their miserable lunch experience end.


    During elementary school, Song Yu had truly gone through too many experiences ordinary children wouldn¡¯t be able to take. And so he thought, maybe that was why his memories were etched so deeply into him.


    Watching as Yue Zhishi moved his chair next to him, Song Yu didn¡¯t say anything and only poured him a hot cup of flowering tea, pushing the cup and saucer over.


    ¡°Drink some.¡±


    Even though the words were a command, Song Yu¡¯s voice was very gentle. Yue Zhishi docilely raised the cup, took a large sip and then placed it back on the table, wrapping his hand around the cup.


    ¡°You don¡¯t think I¡¯ll look good with long hair? Everyone says I¡¯ll look really nice if I grow it out.¡± Yue Zhishi looked at him with his head tilted sideways, and he gave Song Yu his reason very honestly. ¡°I didn¡¯t cut my hair because I wanted you to see.¡±


    After hearing that, Song Yu placed down his own cup of tea. His hand covered the back of Yue Zhishi¡¯s pale hand, his fingers sliding over those clearly seen veins. ¡°You will look good.¡±


    He always looked so warm and gentle when his eyes were lowered. All those emotions that could give people a feeling of oppression were all folded away.


    ¡°Then don¡¯t cut your hair.¡± He said, ¡°Grow it out if you want.¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought Song Yu was truly very strange. Sometimes, he was so unyielding no one could change or block his decisions, acting like an emotionless robot whenever he gave out an order. But sometimes, he was willing to yield and compromise so easily ¡ª as though there was a switch that could swap his attitude at any given time.


    But thinking of how Song Yu interacted with other people, that switch seemed to be invisible during those times.


    He was often very quiet, not quite willing to speak, but there would be times he¡¯d continuously and repeatedly bring up something small to Yue Zhishi. He¡¯d mention it with a bit of annoyance, but he wouldn¡¯t come straight out and talk about it ¡ª and it made Yue Zhishi think he was actually really cute.


    If it were possible, Yue Zhishi wished for that kind of Song Yu to never be found by anyone else. It would be best if other people only saw Song Yu with his shield against strangers, never able to find his hidden away switch.


    Yue Zhishi treated everyone generously, willing to share everything he had ¡ª except for Song Yu.


    The food started to arrive, and no matter whether it was the roast meat or other small dishes, they all matched Yue Zhishi¡¯s tastes very well. He ate whatever Song Yu gave him, and after he drank down a large bowl of crab porridge, his whole body started to sweat.


    The window in their private room wasn¡¯t large, but they were able to see the ash grey sky and humid fog outside. The rain started again, pouring rapidly and substantially, and they could distinctly hear the sounds of rain even while sitting inside.


    Yue Zhishi took off his duffle coat and wore only his black woollen sweater. Rolling up his sleeves, he exposed a small section of his milky white arms.


    ¡°Does your body still hurt?¡±


    Yue Zhishi had just picked up a piece of coconut milk pudding when he heard Song Yu¡¯s question. He paused, like he was carefully going through what he was feeling in his body. ¡°Not really. But I¡¯m still really sore.¡± He lightly patted his legs and waist. ¡°Just like the day after running a long distance race. Although I feel a bit better than I imagined I would.¡±


    ¡°Imagined?¡± Song Yu caught onto the word. ¡°When did you imagine?¡±


    ¡°Just¡­ just earlier.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s cheek puffed up from stuffing in the piece of coconut milk pudding. His large eyes flickered over in Song Yu¡¯s direction, and he said to him softly, ¡°People would think about it after getting together, right? Even though I didn¡¯t know when¡­¡±


    He swallowed the pudding. ¡°I used to be a bit scared, because whenever I thought about that video I accidentally watched, I felt like it would really hurt. It was a bit frightening.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was very scared of pain. He had been the child crying the hardest whenever he was taken to get his vaccine shots.


    Song Yu wanted to say then why¡¯d you push for it, but he understood Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart ¡ª so he didn¡¯t speak, only using a finger to poke at his inflated cheek.


    ¡°Mmph!¡± Yue Zhishi widened his eyes, expressing his displeasure. Song Yu enjoyed that reaction of his, and so he propped up his elbow on the table and gazed at him, silently watching him for a good long while before suddenly opening his mouth.


    ¡°Le Le.¡±


    ¡°Hm?¡± Swallowing his mouthful of red bean soup, Yue Zhishi raised his head and looked at him.


    ¡°Thank you for trusting me.¡±


    Yue Zhishi had almost never heard Song Yu say thank you to anyone, seeming to find it hard to express his gratitude ¡ª but right now, he said thank you to him so very solemnly.


    ¡°Don¡¯t say that.¡± Yue Zhishi stroked Song Yu¡¯s arm. He didn¡¯t think trusting Song Yu was something worth thanking.


    ¡°Your first time should¡¯ve been really scary,¡± Song Yu said.


    ¡°Wasn¡¯t it also the first time for you too?¡± Yue Zhishi curved his head, smiling at him. ¡°I even transferred you money as soon as I got out of bed.¡±


    He felt like Song Yu had utterly done what he said he would: he truly did treasure him.


    Seeing Song Yu faintly smile because of his teasing, Yue Zhishi relaxed a fair amount. He then said, ¡°We¡¯re not quite the same as everyone else. Ever since I was a child, the first time I learned to call someone in Chinese, the first time I went to school, the first time I kissed someone, the first time I swam, the first time my heart moved for someone, the first time I fell in love¡­ There¡¯s too many. I¡¯ve pretty much given all of my first times to you, because you have forever been by my side. So it shouldn¡¯t be you thanking me for trusting you ¡ª I should be the one thanking you.¡±


    The smile on his face was sincere and beautiful. ¡°Thank you for staying with me as I grew up.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s emotions were surging, and he didn¡¯t want them to be noticed; he first turned his face away and heaped a bunch of food onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s plate. After a little while, he then deliberately reached out to touch Yue Zhishi¡¯s chin, to squeeze his face, attempting to shift his emotions.


    ¡°I ended up eating everything.¡± Yue Zhishi finished off the last piece of the rice noodle rolls and collapsed back into his chair. ¡°I¡¯m so stuffed. You didn¡¯t even eat, you were so focused on teasing me.¡±


    Having played enough with his face, Song Yu reached out again to touch Yue Zhishi¡¯s belly. Almost as though he was talking to himself, he said so soft.


    ¡°Yeah, why don¡¯t I have abs.¡± Yue Zhishi flipped up his woollen sweater to look at his stomach. He had two long, shallow lines of muscle stretching downwards, unlike the blocks of muscles Song Yu had. ¡°Do these count?¡±


    His waist was very thin, and the kiss marks on the skin had already darkened. Song Yu pulled his sweater back down, saying, ¡°You¡¯re trying to find all different kinds of ways to get sick.¡±


    When they were getting ready to leave, Song Yu fiddled around with something in his pocket. Thinking he wanted to tie him up again, Yue Zhishi proactively stretched out his wrists, placing them together.


    Song Yu was stunned ¡ª he pulled out Yue Zhishi¡¯s watch from his coat pocket, giving him a puzzled look.


    ¡°Ah¡­¡± Yue Zhishi felt a bit awkward. ¡°Oops.¡±


    Song Yu lightly chuckled and lowered his head to look at the tiny red residual imprint on his wrists. Picking up one of Yue Zhishi¡¯s hands, he put the watch on him and adjusted the position of the dial. ¡°Since you like being tied up so much, I¡¯ll buy you a pair of handcuffs.¡±


    ¡°Huh?!¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes went wide and round, but Song Yu pulled him into his arms and kissed him very softly.


    The door to their room was suddenly opened; it seemed like someone went into the wrong place. Yue Zhishi just happened to be facing towards the door, and he wanted to pull away, a bit alarmed ¡ª but Song Yu¡¯s hand held onto the back of his head. He didn¡¯t let go until that person apologised in a fluster, closing the door, and until Yue Zhishi started to lose the steady rhythm of his breathing.


    That kiss was their dessert. Yue Zhishi left the restaurant with Song Yu holding his hand, and he was still thinking about what Song Yu had just said. As they waited for a taxi, he leaned closely into his shoulder and said, ¡°Were you serious?¡±


    Song Yu glanced at him, as though not sure what he was talking about. Yue Zhishi stretched out both his hands again, like a meek criminal pleading guilty.


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°With your wrists like this,¡± Song Yu caught his wrist bone in between his thumb and index finger and shook it, ¡°they¡¯ll break at first impact.¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought, it¡¯d be best if he wasn¡¯t serious. But he also wished to have a pair of handcuffs himself; one side of it would be cuffed onto Song Yu¡¯s hand so he wouldn¡¯t be able to run away. Song Yu released his hand, and that hand dropped down, bumping into Song Yu¡¯s ¡ª the dials on the two watches lightly, gently collided into each other and released a sound. Silver watchbands twisted around each wrist, as though they truly were a pair of separated handcuffs.


    Once in the car, the taxi drove along the rainy street, looking like it was heading in no particular direction at all. It was as though they were lost within this city right in the eye of the storm, looping and circulating around in strange and similar-looking roads.


    And Yue Zhishi hoped he would never be able to get out.


    The taxi finally stopped at the old quarters of the city, because Yue Zhishi had said before that he wanted to see the architecture in the old quarters. Song Yu held up a heavy, roomy black umbrella. The rain had lessened slightly, but he still shielded Yue Zhishi in his arms, the umbrella forever slanted to a side. He was unwilling to let any rain fall on Yue Zhishi.


    The weather here wasn¡¯t exactly suitable for a date ¡ª perhaps even too terrible for a date. The wind was harsh, the rain persistently falling; the sky was dim and grey. There were almost no one on the streets, and when there were, they rushed past to wherever they needed to go. Yue Zhishi, living in a part of China far from the coast, kept pondering as he walked whether the typhoon had arrived yet. Was it currently arriving, or had it already arrived?


    His legs were still slightly sore, so Yue Zhishi kept wanting to pause after walking a short distance. The first time, Song Yu asked him why he stopped; after he explained, Song Yu would proactively come to a halt every time, like an instrument installed with an ability to precisely measure distances.


    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s right.¡± Yue Zhishi stretched out a hand to him, a cute look on his face. ¡°Where¡¯s my present?¡± He thought about Song Yu¡¯s joke at the dinner table. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t have really brought back some nanmu, right.¡±


    ¡°That was just to trick Qin Yan. The northwest region doesn¡¯t have any nanmu.¡±


    ¡°Then did you bring back a gift this time?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± Song Yu nodded. Thinking they¡¯d rested enough, he took a few steps with an arm around Yue Zhishi. ¡°I¡¯ll give it to you once we get back.¡±


    With something to look forward to, Yue Zhishi became cheerful very quickly. They chatted as they walked ¡ª Yue Zhishi described to Song Yu how Nan Jia trained their models, and also told him he had a mock trial the week after next. He told Song Yu the time and place, but he didn¡¯t explicitly invite Song Yu to watch. When he asked Song Yu about his switch in research areas, it felt like he had something to say, but Song Yu didn¡¯t get the chance to organise his thoughts before the cellphone in his pocket vibrated for a long time.


    Song Yu stared at the screen, and Yue Zhishi stared at him. He felt like Song Yu¡¯s mouth, originally gently curled up, flattened downwards, turning into a straight line. He picked up the call, placing the screen next to his ear.


    ¡°Hey, Dad.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s other hand was still holding up the umbrella, and he replied a few times in a very low voice. At first, Yue Zhishi thought he was going to lie ¡ª in his heart, he¡¯d already helped Song Yu think of excuses and lies. When he had been responding to Lin Rong¡¯s messages yesterday, Yue Zhishi had completely not mentioned Song Yu at all.


    But faced with his father, Song Yu was much more honest than he¡¯d imagined.


    ¡°I came to Guangzhou to look for Yue Zhishi. Yes, he¡¯s not too safe by himself.¡± Song Yu looked off in another direction as he spoke, the lines of his profile appearing even stonier in the rain.


    ¡°It¡¯s already done, we¡¯ll head back in two days¡­ Mn, I know. Be careful on your business trip.¡±


    After hanging up the call, Song Yu intentionally moved the umbrella to his other hand. He caught Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand, and just like how he would with all his personal belongings, placed it into his coat pocket. It wasn¡¯t clear exactly who he was trying to help feel secure.


    Song Yu could feel his heart thudding in dull, heavy beats. As though he was suffering from an auditory hallucination, his father¡¯s concerned voice kept echoing in his ear ¡ª but his sense of guilt distorted the words, transforming them.


    It was as if the words he¡¯d said on the phone weren¡¯t ¡®Le Le doesn¡¯t have a strong body, you need to take care of him, there¡¯s no difference between him and your actual younger brother.¡¯


    But rather, [I¡¯ve raised you, educated you for so many years ¡ª was it just for you to trick my best friend¡¯s orphan into bed?]


    His father¡¯s benevolence and righteousness were in front of him. Compared to him, Song Yu knew himself as vulgar ¡ª all the things he cared about came from a small, unimportant love, the result of hormones.


    He didn¡¯t want to be like that either. No one did.


    Lost in his thoughts, Song Yu didn¡¯t control his strength, and he only realised he¡¯d held on too tightly when he heard Yue Zhishi very quietly call out in pain.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± Song Yu opened his hand, but Yue Zhishi rapidly clutched back at him.


    ¡°Song Yu, your hand¡¯s so cold,¡± he said, covering Song Yu¡¯s fingers. ¡°I¡¯ll warm it up for you.¡±


    What his father didn¡¯t know was: the orphan he¡¯d tricked away was not someone with a shallow and immature mind. Rather, he was a courageous boy ready to accept accidents and death at any given moment, willing to leave behind his ashes to him in a promise in his will.


    It didn¡¯t matter who else was in his position ¡ª who would be willing to let him go?


    They reached the corner of the street. In reality, the two of them weren¡¯t really looking at the scenery beyond the umbrella; they were only slowly strolling. Yue Zhishi felt like his words were suddenly emptied out, but he didn¡¯t want them to be so silent. He thought and thought, struggling, but before he could find a suitable topic, they were stopped by a young man.


    ¡°Hi, sorry for disturbing you guys.¡± There was an apologetic smile on the guy¡¯s face. ¡°Can you take a photo of my girlfriend and me? We¡¯re over there, I¡¯ll need you to come with me for a bit.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t speak, but Yue Zhishi quickly agreed. ¡°Sure.¡± He took the camera from the man¡¯s hand.


    ¡°That¡¯s fantastic. There are so few people around today, we had to look around for a long time before seeing someone. Thank you so much.¡± The young man mocked himself for not knowing how to pick the right timing, having come out to play during such terrible weather.


    Yue Zhishi kindly comforted him, saying it wasn¡¯t too crowded because of the bad weather.


    They followed the man for a while and only then realised there was a stunning gothic cathedral with two spires hidden away in the old quarters. Because of the wind and rain, there was no one else here ¡ª the cathedral¡¯s yellow coloured granite walls looked even more solemn and dignified, even slightly desolate, under the dreary sky.


    A young lady not too far away was holding up a transparent umbrella. She wore a long red knitted dress, and she was the only spot of bright colour in the area. She smiled so very happily, waving towards the man.


    ¡°You can just press here. Thank you.¡± After showing Yue Zhishi how to use the camera, the man swiftly headed towards his girlfriend and smiled at the camera, his arm slipped around her shoulders.


    In order for them to look nicer in the photo and to include the background, Yue Zhishi knelt down and angled the camera upwards. ¡°Done! How about one more?¡±


    The man loudly said yes and then pulled his girlfriend into his arms ¡ª he asked her if she wanted to kiss in such a special, meaningful place and only dipped his head when she shyly nodded. They shared an embrace and a kiss underneath the cathedral¡¯s rose window.


    Having received a satisfactory photo, the couple left in gratitude. In an instant, only the two of them were left in front of the cathedral, cold and lonely. Yue Zhishi stretched out his head a bit, looking up at the structure, and said to Song Yu, ¡°I hear this is one of the world¡¯s four great cathedrals.¡±


    He thought Song Yu didn¡¯t know; unexpectedly, Song Yu corrected him and said, ¡°It¡¯s one of the four great gothic cathedrals made completely of granite.¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± Yue Zhishi nodded. ¡°I didn¡¯t think we¡¯d be able to visit here before heading back.¡±


    He gazed upwards for a while, not talking. Yue Zhishi¡¯s imagination always worked very quickly ¡ª seeing a beautiful and magnificent cathedral, he imagined white veils, fresh flowers, a loving couple celebrated by everyone and a priest reciting long oaths.


    The priest announced you may now kiss. And so in Yue Zhishi¡¯s fantasy, that couple just then turned into a newly wedded bride and groom, hugging and kissing after exchanging rings. Bright and joyous smiles were on their faces.


    And he was simply just a spectator, standing beyond the cathedral doors. In this fantasy, he hoped Song Yu wouldn¡¯t stand together with him; he didn¡¯t want him to be barred outside.


    ¡°Good thing I didn¡¯t grow up in England.¡± Yue Zhishi looked up at the cross perched on top of the cathedral, as well as the heavy clouds floating behind it.


    ¡°Why?¡± Song Yu was looking only at him.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s gaze was still upturned, and he slowly blinked. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t you be religious if you grew up there? I hear people who believe in Christianity think homosexual people will go to hell after they die.¡±


    He didn¡¯t want to add even more guilt onto Song Yu¡¯s body.


    ¡°Everyone says God loves the world.¡± Perplexed, Yue Zhishi studied the cross. ¡°Will God love the people in the world who fall in love with people of their same gender? Or will God punish their souls after they die.¡±


    He belatedly realised he once again spoke about death. Yue Zhishi lowered his head, very lightly saying sorry; he didn¡¯t know if Song Yu could understand why he apologised, and he wondered if he should explain.


    But he didn¡¯t expect Song Yu to grab his waist. The umbrella sloped to one side, splitting the world in front of his eyes into two ¡ª the oppressive black umbrella concealed the road they¡¯d come from, yet the cathedral in front of them remained complete and upright, witness to everything.


    Behind the umbrella, in front of the cathedral, Song Yu lowered his head and gave Yue Zhishi a kiss.


    It was a reverent and profound kiss, as though Song Yu was using his actions as a silent rebellion ¡ª defying faith, defying rules.


    From the moment he¡¯d widened his eyes in alarm to finally closing them, Yue Zhishi could feel his nose burning. There were no flowers, no crowd of people wishing them well, and even the sky was gloomy and stifling, pouring cold rain. It was as though millions and millions of silver needles were descending from the sky, stabbing directly onto their bodies.


    He realised he¡¯d changed: he enjoyed this rain, and found comfort in this joy stolen from suffering. The honey licked from the tip of a knife came so difficultly ¡ª who wouldn¡¯t find it sweet?


    At least this rain wouldn¡¯t shun them.


    Yue Zhishi opened his eyes only after Song Yu had retreated some distance. Fine droplets of rain stained his eyelashes, and his vision was slightly hazy. He looked up, face turned towards Song Yu, and thought he was like a statue of a god: tall and lofty, filled with taboos yet flawless and perfect.


    And yet he stood in front of the cathedral and said to Yue Zhishi, voice filled with blasphemy, ¡°I don¡¯t need God to love me.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s enough just to have you.¡±

 CH 80

    Chapter 80: The Heart Hiding Away Jade


    On the second night of their hotel stay, Yue Zhishi and Song Yu soaked for a very long time in their bathtub with the beautiful ceiling to floor window.


    It was wildly storming outside, yet the storm contained so many flashing neon lights. Leaning back against Song Yu¡¯s chest, Yue Zhishi gazed out, feeling as though he was observing an exquisite Christmas snow globe ¡ª the scene inside was so very fake.


    Later, Song Yu moved Yue Zhishi¡¯s chin from the back, gently and silently raising Yue Zhishi¡¯s head, before lowering his own and kissing Yue Zhishi¡¯s forehead. After that, Yue Zhishi felt ¡ª it was them who were fake.


    They were the ones who were locked away in the snow globe.


    Before they went to sleep, Song Yu sat on the bed and said he wanted to listen to Yue Zhishi reciting his diary entries. It was nothing more than just random chatter, but Yue Zhishi actually went and brought out his diary ¡ª and not just one.


    ¡°Why¡¯d you still bring these even though you were travelling so far away?¡± Song Yu randomly grabbed one of the diaries from the pile and flipped through it.


    Yue Zhishi said, looking completely natural as though what he¡¯d done was to be expected, ¡°I thought you were still working outside. What if you couldn¡¯t fall asleep? If you called me, then I could¡¯ve read something out for you.¡±


    Seemingly casually, Song Yu asked, ¡°And if I didn¡¯t call you?¡±


    ¡°Then¡­¡± Yue Zhishi pressed his lips together and then pretended to breezily flip open a page. ¡°Then I¡¯d just carry them all back home. It¡¯s not like they¡¯re heavy.¡±


    Before even two seconds had passed, Yue Zhishi spoke again, insisting, ¡°But I think you would¡¯ve called me.¡± He emphasised, not sure if he was persuading himself or Song Yu, ¡°Song Yu, the quality of your sleep is truly very poor.¡±


    He didn¡¯t think Song Yu could argue about something so irrefutable.


    ¡°I don¡¯t have poor sleep.¡±


    ¡°Then why ask me to read my diary to you everyday.¡±


    With his head lowered, Song Yu squeezed Yue Zhishi¡¯s clean and slender fingertips. ¡°That¡¯s because I really missed you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t think he¡¯d be so candid all of a sudden, and for some reason, he started to stammer. ¡°But, but you were still taking melatonin a while ago.¡±


    ¡°Same reason,¡± Song Yu quietly said.


    And perhaps the confusion and anxiety towards not knowing how to face the future were included in there as well ¡ª after all, to someone like Song Yu who preferred to take and fulfil every step according to the time and order written in his plans, ¡®not knowing¡¯ was undoubtedly the hardest.


    An impossible single-sided love wouldn¡¯t create so much pain since it was already established as ¡®impossible¡¯. But what he faced was a love that was ¡®possible¡¯ and full of possibilities, yet would pull each other into the abyss.


    Yue Zhishi lightly, softly kissed the side of Song Yu¡¯s face. ¡°I really missed you too.¡±


    He said, voice very low, ¡°I¡¯m already used to missing you.¡±


    Choosing a diary entry that looked silly, Yue Zhishi started to read it out for Song Yu.


    ¡°I bumped into Xiao Yu gege¡¯s classmate today at the convenience store. I actually didn¡¯t have any money, I¡¯m really poor, but he wanted me to go with him to buy some spicy strips. And then Xiao Yu gege¡¯s classmate said I was cute and even gave me a packet of Wangzai milk candy. My own classmate also gave me half a bag of spicy strips.¡±


    As he listened, Song Yu went through the other diary in his hand. It was quite different from the one Yue Zhishi was reading from; this diary seemed to have been written when he was in his first year of junior high. His handwriting was much nicer, no longer crooked and messy, with hints of how it¡¯d look like after growing up.


    [School started today. The people in my class are all really nice, they even invited me out to drink milk tea with them after school. But I wasn¡¯t very happy.]


    Yue Zhishi continued reciting, ¡°Even though I don¡¯t have any money, luckily I have gege. I managed to get a free bag of candy.¡±


    Song Yu continued reading on.


    [Why wouldn¡¯t he let me call him gege? I don¡¯t understand. And not letting other people know about our relationship ¡ª does he not want to be my gege that badly?


    After school ended, Jiang Yufan and I were in front of the milk tea shop and saw gege buying some books in the bookstore. He clearly saw me, but he still walked away. I felt a hole tear into my heart. I clearly drank so much sweet milk tea, but I couldn¡¯t taste it. Maybe it all dribbled out from that hole.


    It wasn¡¯t sweet at all. It felt both painful and bitter.


    Want to go back to elementary school.]


    ¡°That¡¯s so funny, how could I¡¯ve liked taking things for free since I was a kid.¡± Yue Zhishi flipped to another page, his mind still on the previous one. ¡°I remember people kept wanting to give me snacks at the park, but I couldn¡¯t eat most of them. I¡¯m so pitiful, the heavens gave me a face that could easily trick people into giving me things to eat and drink, but it took away my ability to casually eat just anything.¡±


    Sensing Song Yu¡¯s lack of response, Yue Zhishi turned his face over and raised his head to look at him. ¡°Are you listening?¡±


    Song Yu let out a ¡®mn¡¯, closing the diary in his hand.


    ¡°Should I keep reading? Or are we going to sleep.¡±


    Song Yu stroked his face. ¡°Let¡¯s sleep. Your voice¡¯s still a bit hoarse, don¡¯t read anymore.¡±


    Yue Zhishi said sure, and then lay down, prompting Song Yu to turn off the lights. The wind blew loudly outside, so loudly it was a bit exaggerated. It was as though this magnificent high-rise could collapse or be swept away by the wind at any moment, everything in imminent danger.


    The lights in the room darkened one by one. Song Yu didn¡¯t turn all of them off; he left the warmly yellow bedside lamp and lay down to face Yue Zhishi, silently studying his face. He was always subconsciously deliberating about how they could avoid any risks, avoid any danger ¡ª but in the end, he still wilfully allowed everything to turn into a situation different from what he¡¯d imagined.


    He really wanted to know what he should do in order to shape Yue Zhishi into a victim in front of his parents. He didn¡¯t want them to punish Yue Zhishi and him, and yet he wanted them to realise they were truly in love with each other and not the result of a one-sided coaxing ¡ª so that they could be forgiven.


    No matter the result, Song Yu could accept it ¡ª but he didn¡¯t want Yue Zhishi to bear it.


    He didn¡¯t want to see Yue Zhishi once again write down in his diary, [Want to go back to before we were together].


    And for this reason, Song Yu started to think, what if.


    ¡°Le Le.¡±


    Hearing Song Yu call him, Yue Zhishi blinked open his eyes and shifted towards Song Yu¡¯s direction. The sound of his voice came gently, drifting through his nose. ¡°Hm?¡±


    ¡°If we weren¡¯t together.¡±


    He didn¡¯t even finish his question.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know what he was going to say, whether it was a hypothesis he¡¯d already thought up or whether he was going to directly ask ¡®what would you do¡¯ ¡ª but to Yue Zhishi, it was all the same.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t speak.


    It was very rare for him to not answer a question from Song Yu.


    When he saw Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes turn red, gaze avoiding him and looking towards a different direction, and saw his chest rise and fall from his deep breaths, Song Yu couldn¡¯t continue. Very quickly, he leaned over and wrapped Yue Zhishi into his arms. He circled his ams around him with some strength and said he was just casually asking, there was no further meaning behind his question.


    But Yue Zhishi still didn¡¯t speak. Because of his silence, Song Yu instantly gave up many of the thoughts floating around in his mind.


    ¡°I won¡¯t ask such useless questions anymore.¡± Song Yu kissed Yue Zhishi¡¯s earlobe, his voice very soft, very quiet as he promised, ¡°It¡¯s impossible for us to not be together.¡±


    Yue Zhishi held onto Song Yu¡¯s waist, burying his face into Song Yu¡¯s collarbones.


    He no longer had any ability to say lies like [I¡¯d leave all of you behind and live by myself].


    Song Yu had very repetitive dreams that night. He dreamed of an endless black sea, and he and Yue Zhishi were huddled against each other in an old and worn-out little boat. He liked being able to see what was coming at a glance, and yet he was trapped on the sea, adrift and directionless.


    After a period of time, Yue Zhishi suddenly stood up from his arms and walked to the edge of the boat, gazing outwards to the world beyond with great expectation. The Song Yu in the dream was a bit flustered, but he realised he couldn¡¯t move at all ¡ª he could only stare and watch as Yue Zhishi stood on the edge.


    Yue Zhishi fortunately didn¡¯t end up jumping down. He returned back to Song Yu¡¯s side, caressing his arm, and then embraced him.


    The boat didn¡¯t head towards any particular island, and once it became morning, Song Yu woke up. Yue Zhishi was correct ¡ª he truly did have poor sleep quality.


    Yue Zhishi was still sleeping next to him, his fingers lightly resting on Song Yu¡¯s arm. His breaths came evenly and deeply, and his curled up sleeping position was very similar to how he¡¯d looked in Song Yu¡¯s dream.


    Having just woken up, Song Yu¡¯s mind was still slightly cloudy. He wanted to get out of bed and drink some water, but he¡¯d just sat up when he felt something tugging at his hand. He looked over, lifting the caught hand, and saw a long and thin black ribbon tied around his wrist. He didn¡¯t know when it¡¯d been wrapped around him.


    Following along the line, he found the other side.


    It was tied around Yue Zhishi¡¯s right hand.


    ¨C


    The typhoon left Guangzhou together with them before they each went their own separate paths.


    The few days in Guangzhou had been like a dream: beautiful yet unrealistic. As he travelled back to his familiar campus, Yue Zhishi thought ¡ª it wasn¡¯t just Guangzhou.


    Ever since he¡¯d gotten together with Song Yu, every day was like a dream.


    Yue Zhishi fell asleep again on the bullet train, and when he woke up, he noticed he was holding something in his hand. Song Yu pretended to not know anything, allowing Yue Zhishi to clutch his arm and ask many, many questions, like ¡®is this your present to me?¡¯ or ¡®when¡¯d you put it into my hand?¡¯. He only admitted to it after he felt  Yue Zhishi¡¯s chatter was possibly bothering other people, turning his head over and stopping Yue Zhishi¡¯s lips from moving with a kiss.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t actually find this. It¡¯s a mineral I bought from a local.¡± Song Yu was extremely honest.


    ¡°That¡¯s fine, I feel like you can¡¯t keep finding expensive stones anyway.¡± Yue Zhishi played with the stone in his hand, a lustrous dark green seen from the cut side. ¡°What kind of stone is this?¡±


    ¡°Tibetan jade.¡± (z¨¤ng y¨´)


    ¡°Z¨¤ng?¡± Yue Zhishi raised his eyes to look at him. ¡°The z¨¤ng from Tibet?¡± (x¨© z¨¤ng)


    ¡°Mn.¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought of the other way that first character could be pronounced and then suddenly cheered up.


    ¡°I like its name.¡± Yue Zhishi held the stone carefully in his hands, treasuring it, and then held it to his chest.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to hide him away.¡±


    He¡¯d purchased many local snacks when he was in Guangzhou, wanting to bring them back for Lin Rong, but as soon as he got back, he realised he had no time to go home and visit her. Yue Zhishi became busy with his coursework and the mock trial that followed right after, and any leftover time was given to the arts festival.


    Having obtained their fabrics and, through Xiao Qi, found a clothing production factory willing to work with students, the team held meetings again and again, editing their designs, making their patterns before editing them again. Nan Jia placed all her time onto their models; Yue Zhishi would sometimes run to watch them train, relaxing after being exhausted from constantly modifying their work.


    ¡°I think you¡¯d really suit heading onstage yourself, probably a lot more suitable than these tall and dumb basketball players.¡± Nan Jia teased him, ¡°What a waste of your small pretty face.¡±


    Yue Zhishi stretched, sitting crosslegged in front of a row of large mirrors. He was thoroughly pleased with the long legs walking in front of him. ¡°No way, I want to rely on my skills to earn money for food. Besides, I need to earn lots and lots of money.¡±


    ¡°Why do you suddenly want to earn so much money?¡± Nan Jia found him adorable.


    ¡°Ah¡­¡± Thinking he couldn¡¯t really say his reason out loud, Yue Zhishi grabbed at his hair. ¡°I just suddenly understood the importance of money.¡±


    Nan Jia released a long, long ¡®oh¡¯, before rushing up to fix someone¡¯s questionable stage walk.


    Yue Zhishi looked over, his gaze revolving around the other people also training their walk. He saw someone that looked very familiar ¡ª to the point he even took that person for someone else.


    But it wasn¡¯t him.


    ¡°Senior Nan Jia, that guy,¡± he pointed at him for Nan Jia to see, ¡°can you give me his contact details?¡±


    ¡°I want him to try on my closing show outfit.¡±


    After leaving the dance studio used for training, Yue Zhishi fell headfirst once again into his studies and stayed in a self-study classroom until very late. The corridor was very cold when he came out, and he abruptly very much missed Song Yu. Within the last week after returning back to campus, both of them had been so busy they¡¯d only had time to eat together or occasionally see other on the basketball courts. This sudden stretching of social distance between them left Yue Zhishi constantly in a daze, and he frequently thought about those close and intimate days they¡¯d spent in Guangzhou.


    His feet stopped in front of an automatic coffee vending machine. Yue Zhishi clicked on the screen with some hesitation, wondering if he should get a latte or a macchiato, and when he finally decided and chose one, someone appeared next to him as he was preparing to pull out his phone to pay.


    Raising his head, Yue Zhishi saw Song Yu stretch out a hand, cancelling the choice on the screen.


    He placed a glass bottle of warm milk onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand. ¡°Drinking coffee at this time. Are you planning on not sleeping?¡±


    A very real sense of heat transmitted onto his skin, and Yue Zhishi only belatedly asked after a good few seconds had passed, ¡°How are you here?¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t directly answer his question, merely taking off the scarf around his neck and wrapping it around Yue Zhishi¡¯s empty neck. ¡°I heard from Nan Jia that you were still studying in a self-study classroom. I came by on my way from the research lab.¡±


    Almost twenty minutes of walking lay between his research lab and this particular self-study classroom ¡ª there was no ¡®on his way¡¯.


    A wave of rich, strong sweetness gradually rose in Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart. A pair of girls walked past them, and one of them looked over; Yue Zhishi waited for them to disappear before easing slightly closer, saying to Song Yu with a small smile, ¡°What a coincidence you¡¯re here. I was just thinking of you.¡±


    Faced with Yue Zhishi¡¯s straightforward expressions of love, Song Yu felt like he might take an entire lifetime and still not be able to get used to them. No matter how many times Yue Zhishi said words of love, Song Yu¡¯s heart would still faintly speed up, and then, like a cat with his tail stroked, lose a bit of his steadiness. Even though he hated losing his superficial calmness, if it was for something like this, he didn¡¯t really mind.


    He hoped Yue Zhishi would express his love to him for their entire lives.


    It was the deep of the night, and as they walked along the empty dark roads in the campus, Yue Zhishi would boldly grab Song Yu¡¯s fingers occasionally. His hand was very warm from holding the milk and was very comfortable to hold. Whenever there was any noise, he¡¯d let go in a panic ¡ª before realising it was just a stray cat.


    Before taking him back to his dorm, Song Yu brought Yue Zhishi through a small grove. It wasn¡¯t considered far from Yue Zhishi¡¯s dormitory building, and whenever he wasn¡¯t in a rush to head to class, he¡¯d sometimes give it a few more looks. Trees he couldn¡¯t name were planted here, and they turned spectacular in autumn, a whole field of gold with old leaves slowly, gently alighting like butterflies.


    At night, the grove was completely pitch black. There wasn¡¯t anything beautiful to see, and even the fallen leaves were like dark clouds headed onto the wrong paths.


    The ground, covered with leaves, rustled as they walked. Yue Zhishi held onto Song Yu¡¯s hand until they reached a large tree, and then he trampled on the leaves as he went around it, almost in revenge ¡ª this way, if someone passing by heard the noise, they would be able to guess there was a couple here.


    But they wouldn¡¯t be able to see them, wouldn¡¯t be able to realise it was Song Yu and him. The dark was their protective umbrella.


    ¡°Having fun?¡± Song Yu asked in low voice.


    Before he could reply and before he could take lift up his leg to take another step, Yue Zhishi suddenly heard the noise of rustling leaves coming from a different direction.


    ¡°Someone¡¯s coming.¡± Yue Zhishi dragged Song Yu behind the tree. He wanted to hide in Song Yu¡¯s coat, but his coat was all buttoned up; Yue Zhishi very anxiously rushed to undo them, throwing it open, and then slid his way in, the entire string of actions feeling a bit strange no matter how Song Yu looked at it.


    The grove wasn¡¯t small, and the sounds of footsteps were the scattered, irregular rhythm of two people. Unlike what Yue Zhishi had expected, they seemed to stop at a place not too far away.


    He stuck closely to Song Yu¡¯s chest, Song Yu leaning against the large tree, and the two of them maintained their silence.


    But the other couple knew nothing of what was happening, and they hadn¡¯t come to the grove with Yue Zhishi¡¯s pure goal of ¡®stepping on leaves¡¯. They spoke a few times ¡ª the girl¡¯s voice was witty and lively, and she threw out a very loveable joke. The guy pretended to be angry, saying if she continued to talk, he was going to kiss her.


    ¡°But I want to¡­ mmph!¡±


    And then, Yue Zhishi could only hear the wet and breathy sounds of kissing.


    It was a bit awkward. Hiding in Song Yu¡¯s arms, he could feel his face burning and heating up a ridiculous amount as though he was drunk ¡ª even though he hadn¡¯t gotten drunk even once. The sounds became all the more distinct, and Yue Zhishi subconsciously wanted to move away from Song Yu¡¯s embrace. His body had just shifted when Song Yu¡¯s arms caged around his waist.


    He lifted his head; he gazed towards Song Yu¡¯s handsome face, unrealistic in the dark, and met his eyes.


    Using a voice only the two of them could hear, Song Yu warned, ¡°You¡¯ll be seen if you move backwards.¡±


    Crushed, broken leaves couldn¡¯t hide secrets.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart was running very quickly. He couldn¡¯t move, yet he needed to try to not listen to other people¡¯s covert intimacy ¡ª he lowered his head in embarrassment, secretly regretting his decision to pull Song Yu here behind the tree.


    But Song Yu held onto him, the metal buckle on his belt wearing away at Yue Zhishi just like their current situation. Chests tightly pressed against each other, so closely united there was no space in between ¡ª even the cold, pleasant scent on Song Yu¡¯s body turned suggestive and scorching hot.


    When Song Yu dipped his head, his lips touching the tip of Yue Zhishi¡¯s ear, the fragrance cocooned around his difficult to speak out thoughts like fog.


    Opening his mouth, he used a tender voice to abduct away Yue Zhishi¡¯s reservations.


    ¡°You really don¡¯t want to kiss me?¡±

 CH 81

    Chapter 81: Secret Abandonment


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t answer ¡ª or rather, he answered with his body.


    He directly raised his head and pressed his lips against Song Yu¡¯s own.


    Not daring to make any noise, Yue Zhishi could only lightly move against Song Yu¡¯s soft lips. His hands held onto Song Yu¡¯s back under his coat, and they were like two people tightly holding each other for warmth ¡ª and they were also like the backdrop for other people.


    Flames restlessly itched to rekindle during dry autumn nights, but they were suppressed, not allowed to set the field ablaze.


    In the forest covered with darkness, there were breathing and sucking noises and the clues of broken leaves. None of them belonged to them.


    They were only the shadows of that passionate couple.


    That feeling burned at Yue Zhishi until his consciousness blurred over. He lost strength, and even his initiative was snatched away, Song Yu doing all the things he himself had hesitated and not dared to do. His breathing stuttered.


    He faintly heard the sounds of clothes chafing against each other. He could also hear the couple murmur something in between their kisses, the words extraordinarily prominent through their needy voices. Words such as ¡®no¡¯, ¡®we can¡¯t¡¯.


    Slightly cool fingers touched his back, and Song Yu retreated a little, lightly kissing Yue Zhishi¡¯s cheek and earlobe. In a voice as light as air, he deliberately asked, ¡°Can we?¡±


    Yue Zhishi sincerely experienced how it felt to melt, unable to resist at all. He was entirely controlled by Song Yu ¡ª and suppression always brought about a rebound.


    He rested his face onto Song Yu¡¯s shoulder, and he could feel his breaths dampening the coat. Song Yu¡¯s voice was right next to his ear, and the sound of his low breaths were infinitely magnified, falling completely into him without any boundaries.


    The nodding of his head looked more like he was rubbing his face against Song Yu¡¯s shoulder, while Song Yu seemed to take asking for permission as more of a way to tease.


    It was hot and humid inside the coat; Song Yu turned autumn into the sticky and thick height of summer.


    While wearing its watch, that right hand gradually stroked up Yue Zhishi¡¯s spine. Trembling pleasure broke through his defences, and when Yue Zhishi was just about to moan, Song Yu¡¯s lips obstructed the possibility of him making any noise. Song Yu¡¯s hand circled around to the front of Yue Zhishi¡¯s body, and the cold watchband ¡ª whether accidentally or intentionally ¡ª passed over the tips of his nipples. His fingers followed closely behind, and they toyed with those stiffened nubs.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want to make any noise, but he couldn¡¯t help it; he bit down on Song Yu¡¯s lips with his blurry consciousness and wasn¡¯t able to control his strength, only feeling Song Yu¡¯s hand become more forceful. It trailed down his waist, exploring what was below.


    There was already nothing left to hide ¡ª Yue Zhishi had long gotten hard from his kissing. His desire was more honest than he himself was.


    Song Yu licked him with the tip of his tongue, silently telling Yue Zhishi to relax a bit as he enjoyed this kind of inhibited and restrained amorous love. Separated by underwear, his hand went to touch Yue Zhishi¡¯s hard cock while he used his other hand to pull Yue Zhishi¡¯s soft and warm hand towards his own. Their actions broke rules while they locked themselves under the rule of not being allowed to make a sound; the couple not too far away let out uncontainable moans that could set others on fire.


    He thought they would do something here, but suddenly, the sound of a phone vibrating travelled over the few metres to them and paused their intimate movements. Like a scared little mouse, Yue Zhishi wrapped himself tightly around Song Yu¡¯s back, not daring to move a single inch.


    ¡°Ah, it¡¯s my dorm mate¡­¡± the girl said very quietly. ¡°Probably to ask if I was still coming back tonight.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t go back, let¡¯s head out.¡± The guy¡¯s voice carried an unexpected request, and he seemed to once again lower his head to kiss her face.


    Yue Zhishi involuntarily waited for her answer. He finally received the sounds of fallen leaves being stepped on, heavy and light footsteps moving away, until only he and Song Yu were left in this field of trees.


    ¡°I need to head back to my dorm too¡­¡± Yue Zhishi whispered, begging for mercy, but Song Yu seemed to not plan on backing off at all. He took off his coat and surrounded Yue Zhishi in it, pressing him against the tree. Yue Zhishi¡¯s back was already drenched with sweat, his face flushed, and the white fog of his pants clouded his vision.


    He couldn¡¯t see clearly ¡ª he only sensed Song Yu kneeling down. He moved downwards in a way that made him look like he was willingly tumbling down from his lofty, high status, his knees supported by the soft and fluffy pile of leaves. Without anything holding it back, the moonlight shined directly onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s face, and it veiled over his naked desire.


    The moment his cock was swallowed, Yue Zhishi felt like he was going to suffocate. He weakly leaned against the coarse tree trunk, passively accepting the licking and the wet and smooth surface wrapping around him.


    ¡°Mm¡­¡± He wanted to call out, and yet he didn¡¯t dare; he could only thread his fingers through Song Yu¡¯s short hair. Song Yu¡¯s hands were firmly pressing his hips down, as though nailing him to this large tree. In his delusion, it wasn¡¯t a tree behind him ¡ª it was a cross, given as capital punishment to those who¡¯d done forbidden things. Odd visions weaved together with extremely intense pleasure, and it was as though Yue Zhishi had taken an aphrodisiac hallucinogen, reaching his peak in the midst of hurried, rapid pants. He originally didn¡¯t want to come inside Song Yu¡¯s mouth, pushing at him, but he ended up being forcefully held in place. In the end, under the torment of sexual passion, he shot wildly into Song Yu¡¯s mouth.


    Getting up, Song Yu dragged Yue Zhishi into sharing with him an utterly sensual and sticky kiss.


    ¡°Mm, gege¡­¡± Yue Zhishi coughed a few times, his palms pressing against Song Yu¡¯s chest. The only thing he ended up getting was an even fiercer kiss ¡ª it even carried with it a trace of salty sweetness. He was flipped over and pressed back onto the tree, the coat on his body having fallen off from the embrace and the earlier pushing; the aged skin on the tree trunk scraped against his smooth thighs.


    ¡°Clamp your legs together.¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice was very low, the previously calm rhythm of it thrown into disarray from his soft pants. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know how things had suddenly turned into this: he was pinned on a tree, gasping for air as Song Yu¡¯s cock slid in between his legs. Song Yu¡¯s fingers frequently kneaded at his ass with great strength, and the fluid below made his inner thighs especially messy. The thick and large front tip brushed past his sensitive back entrance and the skin between his legs an uncountable number of times; the tip even shallowly nudged inside, but it didn¡¯t truly enter.


    He was about to go insane ¡ª all his limbs were numb, and his body started to slide downwards, out of his control. Song Yu was pretty much hoisting him up as he thrust into him, and Yue Zhishi tried to turn his head around, thinking it¡¯d be hard for Song Yu to come like this. Panting, he asked, ¡°Ge¡­ Can I suck you off¡­¡±


    ¡°No need.¡± Song Yu soothingly kissed the back of his neck, restraining himself from leaving behind a mark on Yue Zhishi¡¯s body. ¡°Be good.¡±


    Yue Zhishi turned his head to him again, continuously telling Song Yu he wanted to kiss, he wanted to kiss him; he was softly whimpering like a puppy hungering for love. In this moment, he didn¡¯t want to care anymore if they¡¯d be found, if people would care that their love and sexual activity were incorrect ¡ª he only wanted to sink down into his lover¡¯s arms.


    What was different between them and that couple?


    Song Yu¡¯s cold and indifferent voice turned husky. He called him baobao, easing over Yue Zhishi¡¯s chin to gently yet suggestively kiss him ¡ª both the tip of his tongue and his cock were the things entering. After having his yearning for kisses satisfied, Yue Zhishi was submerged even further; he imagined himself as the final winter cicada during this autumn night, dying and then coming back alive within Song Yu¡¯s heat and indulgence.


    He didn¡¯t know how many times Song Yu thrusted into him. His scalp turned numb, and when his legs could almost no longer stand up, he heard Song Yu quietly say again and again he loved him, he really loved him ¡ª and then he came onto his supple butt. The translucent cum flowed down the round and full shape of his ass, gathering on his thighs and the skin between his legs. Worried he¡¯d get cold, Song Yu pulled up Yue Zhishi¡¯s pants and buttoned them up, and then he picked up his coat, folding it over his arm, and embraced Yue Zhishi very tightly from the back.


    Yue Zhishi felt like he was a piece of cake with a bite already taken out of him. The white chocolate poured on top had yet to even set, still dripping, and someone had already nibbled at him. He had been tasted before being packaged and pushed into the carton, and now he had to pretend to be pure and clean.


    But having experienced the sweetness of being tasted, he felt like he hadn¡¯t had enough. He flipped over, his back weakly leaning against the trunk, and his hands went up and around Song Yu¡¯s neck like the vines soon to wither in autumn.


    Yue Zhishi grazed his nose against Song Yu¡¯s. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you come in?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯d be really painful.¡± Song Yu stroked up and down his back and enveloped him securely in his coat. ¡°Cold?¡±


    ¡°Hot¡­¡± Yue Zhishi obediently rested on Song Yu¡¯s shoulders. Song Yu returned back to his usual immaculately dressed self, as though he hadn¡¯t ravaged anyone, hadn¡¯t made immoral love outdoors. But Yue Zhishi could smell his own scent on Song Yu¡¯s body; he even slightly hoped Song Yu would head back to his own dorm like this and have someone discover something.


    He longed for their secret to be broken apart ¡ª perhaps that was his motive behind trampling on those leaves, trying to attract someone¡¯s attention.


    And Song Yu seemed to be purposefully and painstakingly abandoning a small dog: he scratched underneath his chin but wouldn¡¯t embrace him, giving him only an incomplete sense of satisfaction.


    That way, he would long to see his owner even more.


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you want to head back just then?¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice was very low. ¡°I¡¯ll take you.¡±


    ¡°Right now?¡±


    ¡°Right now.¡±


    Yue Zhishi impatiently kissed the side of Song Yu¡¯s neck, somewhat disobediently leaving behind a shallow trace, and then clung onto him, saying he wanted to be hugged. Song Yu refused; he once again said to Yue Zhishi, it¡¯s almost midnight, you should head back to your dorm.


    The air behind Song Yu¡¯s words flowed to the back of his ear ¡ª Yue Zhishi practically started quivering again.


    Song Yu said he needed to behave, to sleep early, he still had class tomorrow morning, and Yue Zhishi had almost no way to refute his words. He even slightly enjoyed this frustration born from not being given what he wanted.


    Song Yu took him to the front of his dormitory building, and he even nodded to the dormitory supervisor in polite greeting, gentle and refined. Underneath the supervisor¡¯s focus, he shifted closer and said to Yue Zhishi, ¡°Make sure you clean up well.¡±


    Yue Zhishi felt his legs twitching.


    ¡°It must be nice to have an older brother.¡± The supervisor auntie gave him a pleased smile after he entered. ¡°Specifically sending you back despite being so late.¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡±


    Teasing him so much so late at night, and yet not really fucking him.


    With his head lowered, Yue Zhishi quickened his footsteps, trying to dodge away. Even though his legs felt limp, even though his inner thighs were completely stained with thick and sticky fluid, each and every one of his steps chafed away at his shame. He looked at himself in the building¡¯s public bathroom mirror and did his best to conceal any traces, making himself look like a normal person as he returned back to his room.


    No one was asleep, his dorm mates all still gaming in fierce battles. Jiang Yufan glanced below his bed and saw Yue Zhishi grab his pyjamas before directly speeding into the bathroom with a red face. His game had just finished, so he came down from his bunk, headed towards the dorm¡¯s private bathroom and said to the closed door, ¡°Le Le, are you okay? Why are you so late?¡±


    Yue Zhishi had already pulled off his clothes. Realising that his body looked even more sullied than he¡¯d imagined, his cheeks heated up again. The feeling of wanting more after having had a taste was like ants gnawing at his heart.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine, I came from self-study. I forgot the time.¡± He took a photo as he firmly and calmly said to his good friend outside the door, ¡°No need to worry about me, I¡¯m sleeping as soon as I finish cleaning up.¡±


    But he spent a very long time in the shower. After he came out, he sat in front of his desk and stared at the milk bottle Song Yu had given him ¡ª he looked at it for a very long time, too.


    It was now cold, but he still drank all of it, not leaving behind a single drop.


    At midnight, Song Yu received a message from Yue Zhishi.


    [Le Le: Gege, will you sleep well tonight?]


    As well as the photo he¡¯d taken in the dim bathroom.


    ¨C


    For many days afterwards, Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t quite dare pass through that grove of trees.


    Jiang Yufan would even scoff as they walked past on their way to class, saying there were too many small forests on campus ¡ª the amount of couples in those places could probably string up an entire circle after catching them. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t dare respond.


    When eating dinner together a few days later, Song Yu¡¯s split lip had already scabbed over. Qin Yan even ridiculed him for it, but he didn¡¯t tell Qin Yan to shut up, only saying his lips had been dry from the weather. He even deliberately glanced at Yue Zhishi after finishing his argument.


    Like a qualified, good older brother, he advised Yue Zhishi to drink more water.


    Qin Yan turned his attention onto Yue Zhishi. ¡°Le Le, I hear the model you wanted to close your show is a new member of our basketball team?¡±


    ¡°Ah? Mn¡­¡± Yue Zhishi swallowed the food in his mouth, nodding. ¡°Yes, a senior in second year. I think he¡¯s quite suitable.¡±


    ¡°After hearing it from Nan Jia, I even particularly ran over to look at him. I wanted to see which handsome guy it was from our team, and then when I got there ¡ª wow. I almost thought he was someone else.¡± Qin Yan patted Song Yu as he spoke. ¡°He looks quite similar to you from the back, and his height¡¯s pretty close too. It¡¯s just that his looks are quite far from yours.¡±


    Song Yu completely didn¡¯t know about this, and he lightly arched an eyebrow. ¡°Really?¡±


    He looked at Yue Zhishi. ¡°How much does he look like me?¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know why, but he suddenly started to feel guilty. He rushed to explain, ¡°He doesn¡¯t look that much like you, it¡¯s just that his height and body are relatively similar. I didn¡¯t particularly look for him, I just saw him in the midst of all the models senior Nan Jia chose and thought the proportions of his body were relatively suitable¡­¡±


    ¡°What, why do you care? Maybe you should go yourself.¡± Qin Yan laughed. ¡°My good sir, you refused to go when Nan Jia asked you in so many different ways. It¡¯s no longer up to you now.¡±


    As though he found his words useless, Song Yu coldly laughed. ¡°I won¡¯t go and be a model.¡±


    ¡°But you¡¯ll definitely watch the competition, right?¡± Yue Zhishi finished listening and gave him an extremely pitiful look.


    ¡°Beg me,¡± Song Yu said, right in front of Qin Yan¡¯s face.


    In order to get Song Yu to go, Yue Zhishi pestered him almost every day. He bought all different kinds of snacks for him, and even bought ten-plus cups of milk tea in one go to gift to the seniors in Song Yu¡¯s research lab. He intentionally said things such as ¡®you¡¯ve worked hard taking care of gege¡¯, and thus, everyone now recognised him.


    Because of his beautiful and exceptional face and easygoing personality, everyone jokingly called him Song Yu¡¯s little angel.


    The first time he¡¯d gone over, Song Yu even purposefully pretended to not know him, standing at the door and watching Yue Zhishi as he gave snowflake crisps to the senior sister who worked in the lab next door. With a cold face, Song Yu said, ¡°Who are you?¡±


    Yue Zhishi raised his head to look at him, and the senior sister who¡¯d just taken snowflake crisps from him also awkwardly stared at Song Yu, swiftly considering what exactly was happening.


    Wasn¡¯t this his younger brother? He wouldn¡¯t be a fake one, right¡­.


    ¡°My ge has a bad habit.¡± Unmoved, Yue Zhishi turned back around and gave her a piece of candy. ¡°He¡¯s liked teasing me since we were kids.


    ¡°Ah¡­ I see.¡± The senior sister glanced at the usually ice cold junior brother and didn¡¯t argue back.


    She secretly thought, she didn¡¯t expect Song Yu to be that kind of person in private.


    And then, for many, many days after, Yue Zhishi serviced Song Yu with coffee and even said his workspace was really spacious, much warmer than a self-study classroom; he stubbornly insisted on staying in Song Yu¡¯s workspace to do his own coursework, even lying on the table for a nap during the middle of the day.


    Even though Song Yu kept saying he took up too much space, he still gave Yue Zhishi the comfortable revolving chair and sat in the cold wooden chair himself. When Yue Zhishi lay down in sleep, Song Yu sneakily held his hand, kissing his forehead when no one else was around.


    Every day as Yue Zhishi left, he would invite Song Yu to watch the show and then, without exception, be rejected.


    Until later, when Song Yu was caught by the senior sister from the research lab next door. Things went according to the usual plot, and she was truly embarrassed ¡ª but the question that came out of her mouth was¡­


    ¡°Does the mixed race boy who constantly comes to visit you have a girlfriend? I really like him, he¡¯s too cute.¡±


    And so that very afternoon, Song Yu dragged Yue Zhishi, who¡¯d delivered himself to him, to the corner storeroom and told him to stop coming.


    But Yue Zhishi only looked at him for a little while, and then he abruptly hooked his arms around Song Yu¡¯s neck.


    ¡°Song Yu, you¡¯re so awkward.¡±


    He rose up and kissed him, only resulting in Song Yu pressing him down onto the table and kissing him until he couldn¡¯t get enough air.


    But stubborn Song Yu still ended up finally agreeing. He agreed to Yue Zhishi¡¯s invitation, but the tone of his voice was still very strange and difficult to read.


    ¡°Sure, I¡¯ll go see what kind of nice clothes my substitute¡¯s wearing.¡±


    Yue Zhishi pulled out his professional occupation and refuted the word ¡®substitute¡¯ with extraordinarily well-founded reasons. Song Yu quietly listened to him finish, and then he once again emphasised ¡ª


    ¡°He¡¯s my substitute.¡±


    Humans can¡¯t reason with cats, Yue Zhishi persuaded himself.


    The author has something to say:


    Le Le: been abandoned ( )

 CH 82

    Chapter 82: The Eve of the Competition


    Time disappeared quickly. The [Little Swallow Dressed in Flowery Clothes] team members were so busy they almost had no time to sleep, working through the nights to finish their accessories and final adjustments to their outfits. The opening of their show was very important ¡ª it was their first chance at catching everyone¡¯s attention.


    The first design that would come out was a collaboration between Xiao Qi and Zhou Yi. In order to sufficiently reflect their main theme, they created the ¡®green straw rain cape¡¯ from an ancient poem; a sumptuous dress from the peak of the Tang Dynasty lay underneath, with both the headdress and accessories all reminiscent of the dynasty. Nan Jia was going to personally model this outfit.


    But in the end, under the lights of the dress rehearsal, the effect of the outfit wasn¡¯t enough with its straw rain cape. After watching the video replay, Nan Jia thought the green straw rain cape was overly plain and was more suited for the later outfits inspired by martial artists Chen Pi had designed. The effect of it wasn¡¯t enough to immediately catch people¡¯s eyes.


    Everyone was at a loss, thinking there wasn¡¯t enough time to rectify it, and even Xiao Qi could only suggest using fresh flowers as a decoration for the cape.


    Nan Jia ended up raising her eyebrows at Yue Zhishi, who¡¯d been silent the entire time. ¡°What do you think? Your brain has a bunch of random ideas, quickly think of how we should decorate the cape.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was reclining on the table, twirling a pen. ¡°We should give it up.¡±


    ¡°Ah?¡± Nan Jia couldn¡¯t believe it. ¡°Even you would give up?¡±


    ¡°I mean give up using the straw rain cape in the opening.¡± Yue Zhishi sat up straight and very earnestly said, ¡°I actually have an idea, but I don¡¯t know if we have enough time. I read through many history books earlier when I was researching, and the Book of Sui said that Emperor Yang ¡®met rain while hunting, slipping into oilskins¡¯. This ¡®oilskin¡¯ is actually what rich people used to wear as raincoats back in the ancient days.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not a bad idea to pull off the straw cape after reaching the end of the T stage, but the model¡¯s outfit inside is actually too splendid ¡ª the status of someone wearing an outfit like that wouldn¡¯t be wearing a green straw rain cape.¡±


    Zhou Yi frowned. ¡°But¡­ how would we make an oilskin? Wouldn¡¯t it be too sticky?¡±


    Yue Zhishi spun his pen. ¡°It¡¯s actually not hard, I read in a book that we need to soak silk in tung oil. After that, we¡¯ll need to spread a mixture of soil and water over it before drying it out in a well-ventilated and shaded area. The oilskin won¡¯t be sticky that way. We can even spray water over it, it won¡¯t get drenched from the water on the stage. We can try.¡± He lowered his head to look at his watch. ¡°We still have time.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not a bad idea,¡± Nan Jia agreed. ¡°We still have a lot of silk, and if it ends up looking good, it¡¯ll look more magnificent than a straw cape.¡±


    Since the team had Yue Zhishi, Nan Jia and Qu Zhi, who were all filled with energy and productivity, they started working on the opening¡¯s plan b after confirming there were no other issues with the other rounds. With only twenty hours left until the competition, they dipped their leftover gold silk fabrics into the golden tung oil to produce an oilskin.


    The process was much harder than they¡¯d thought. Xiao Qi used a sewing machine to tailor the oilskin cape by hand, and then she felt like it didn¡¯t match with the bamboo hats. After Yue Zhishi modified the design, they decided to attach a pale golden veil over the very first bamboo hat in order to tie it in with the gold cape.


    Once they¡¯d applied three layers of the tung oil, Chen Pi and Zhou Yi brought back some mud taken from the mountains behind campus and mixed it together with water. They then spread it over the cape on a fixed board, drying it with a hair dryer and large electric fan. They waited for a good few hours, and the mud crust had only just dried by the time Nan Jia finished reconfirming their entire show¡¯s background music and timings.


    Xiao Qi peeled off the mud bit by bit, and when the completed cape fluttered over Nan Jia¡¯s body at 6am in the dressing room, everyone spontaneously cheered.


    Yue Zhishi could feel himself being covered in goosebumps ¡ª the joy and triumph of group creation exhilarated him.


    It was already 7:30am by the time they finished cleaning up. They needed to place all of the clothes and their accessories together into sets so that it¡¯d be convenient for the models to change into them. There were thirty sets in total, ten for each round; it was a significant amount of work.


    ¡°There¡¯s a rehearsal at noon. We need to take our models over to the stage for practice, and then they¡¯ll need to go through makeup. I don¡¯t think we¡¯ll have much time to rest until the competition starts.¡± Nan Jia checked her watch, still wanting to say something, but she couldn¡¯t hold back a yawn.


    Qu Zhi patted her own shoulder. ¡°Rest for a bit?¡±


    Nan Jia glanced at her and was about to lean down; she curved over halfway and then straightened up again, giving her own face a pat. ¡°I can¡¯t, I¡¯ll end up sleeping really deeply.¡±


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but smile. ¡°In order to prevent our beautiful opening model from falling off the stage due to lack of energy, I ¡ª the leader for the Little Swallow Dressed in Flowery Clothes¡¯s team spirit ¡ª will allow you to sleep for a while.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, me too!¡±


    ¡°Senior Nan Jia, sleep.¡±


    After letting all three girls sleep on the chairs in the dressing room, the remaining three guys busied themselves with creating the outfit sets, and they finally completed them around 10:30am. Yue Zhishi felt like all of his muscles and limbs were cramped, not wanting to move at all, but they still needed to take their models to rehearsal.


    ¡°Are your parents coming?¡±


    ¡°Of course, they have to witness the highlight of my life!¡± Chen Pi bragged. He elbowed Yue Zhishi. ¡°Le Le, what about you?¡±


    ¡°Ah?¡± Yue Zhishi nodded. ¡°They¡¯re coming, they asked me for tickets a really long time ago. They might even record the entire thing.¡±


    ¡°Wow, your mom really loves you.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± Even though she wasn¡¯t his true mom.


    He couldn¡¯t help but send a message to Song Yu, even though he knew Song Yu was in a meeting the entire morning.


    [Le Le: Your little boyfriend¡¯s about to turn useless from being overworked.]


    There were a ridiculous amount of people at the rehearsal. Yue Zhishi was already relying on coffee to continue staying alive, and he followed his team over, his heart jittering as soon as he heard the drumbeats of the stage audio. His entire body broke out in a sweat, and it felt like he was suffering from heart palpitations.


    He was originally standing next to Nan Jia, helping her double check each model, but Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart was truly beating too quickly ¡ª he wanted to find a place far away from the speakers where he could rest.


    ¡°Eh? Where¡¯s the guy closing the show¡­¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t hear Nan Jia¡¯s muttering to herself, walking away by himself to the door. He saw the long table where they¡¯d be checking tickets and wanted to rest there; unexpectedly, he met the team from the journalism school.


    Xu Lin was in front, and he immediately saw Yue Zhishi. He arrogantly asked him from very far away, ¡°Mixed Sweetheart, why are you alone? Where are your useless underlings?¡±


    His heart palpitations yet to subside, Yue Zhishi barely managed to give him a look and didn¡¯t speak.


    Xu Lin thought something was strange, seeing his face so pale. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with you? Didn¡¯t eat?¡± He came closer, the tip of a finger poking Yue Zhishi¡¯s arm. ¡°Are you okay, you¡¯re really pale. Are you naturally this pale, or are you sick?¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought this guy¡¯s brain wasn¡¯t too normal, but he didn¡¯t want to say it out loud. ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±


    ¡°Are you sure? Look, the competition comes second to your body. Let me take you to the hospital.¡±


    The rest of the journalism school¡¯s team behind him wondered at how he could¡¯ve said nonsense like the competition coming second. ¡°Wait, Xu Lin, it¡¯s our turn to rehearse soon. You¡¯re not going to watch?¡±


    ¡°Are flowers going to bloom with me watching?¡± Xu Lin took hold of Yue Zhishi¡¯s arm, tugging him two steps towards the door. ¡°Are you going or not. Let me tell you, very few people can sit in my car.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s really no need. I¡¯m fine, I just had too much caffeine.¡± Pushing off his hand, Yue Zhishi felt his legs weaken ¡ª but someone else caught him. He raised his head, and when he saw Song Yu¡¯s face, he even thought he was hallucinating.


    ¡°How are you here?¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice was very soft. ¡°Didn¡¯t you say your meeting was going to run until 12:30?¡±


    ¡°I left midway,¡± Song Yu answered very succinctly, his hand going by itself to touch Yue Zhishi¡¯s forehead. He only looked at Xu Lin once he was sure Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t have a fever, and without any expression on his face, he asked, ¡°Who are you?¡±


    ¡°Ah? I¡­¡± Xu Lin pulled back his hand a bit awkwardly. ¡°I¡¯m his opponent, the kind who¡¯ll press him onto the floor and fiercely pound at him.¡±


    Song Yu frowned, thinking there was something wrong with this guy¡¯s brain, so he directly decided to ignore him. He pulled Yue Zhishi into his arms, saying, ¡°Let¡¯s go and eat something first.¡±


    ¡°But I haven¡¯t told senior Nan Jia¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve already talked to her. You need to take a rest right now.¡±


    The ignored Xu Lin stood where he was, and as he watched the two of them walk away, he boiled over in anger like a kettle.

 CH 83

    Chapter 83: Show Disturbance


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s face was very pale, and he was sweating too much. Song Yu walked just slightly faster, but Yue Zhishi still needed to softly call out to him from behind, saying, ¡°Slower, I¡¯m dizzy.¡±


    ¡°Who told you to drink coffee on an empty stomach.¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice was reproachful, not gentle.


    Even though Yue Zhishi had been criticised, he still obediently nodded. ¡°I know, I definitely won¡¯t next time.¡± And then, he grabbed Song Yu¡¯s hand and put it on his chest, his voice even a bit playful. ¡°Is my heart beating really quickly?¡±


    He was very close to Song Yu ¡ª he could kiss him as soon as he raised his head.


    Song Yu pulled back his hand somewhat stiffly. He couldn¡¯t quite hold onto his attitude anymore; he was originally going to continue lecturing, but he ended up saying nothing else. He wanted to hug Yue Zhishi whenever he looked at him, but there were too many people.


    In the end, he slipped an arm around Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulders, something normal friends or brothers would do, and took him to the cafeteria closest to the auditorium. He bought a bowl of preserved egg and minced pork porridge, as well as some red bean glutinous rice cake.


    Worried he¡¯d stay outside for too long, Yue Zhishi ate very quickly. But the porridge was too hot; he couldn¡¯t swallow his first spoonful, and he opened his mouth and fanned at it with his hand like he used to.


    ¡°Do you eat every meal like it¡¯s your last?¡±


    Even though he spoke very harshly, Song Yu still pulled Yue Zhishi¡¯s bowl of porridge over to himself and blew at it while he stirred it with a spoon, trying to lower the temperature as quickly as possible.


    Yue Zhishi swallowed and then stuffed in a triangular piece of red bean glutinous rice cake, his cheeks puffing up. ¡°You¡¯re not eating?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not hungry.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll get hungry in a bit.¡± Using chopsticks, Yue Zhishi picked up a piece of the cake and held it to Song Yu¡¯s mouth. ¡°You¡¯re staying with me for a long time.¡±


    Song Yu lifted his head to look at him, asking, ¡°Did I say that?¡±


    Yue Zhishi smiled, a bit pleased with himself. ¡°You coming here means just that. Hurry and eat.¡± He pushed the cake into Song Yu¡¯s mouth, but Song Yu only ended up taking a bite; Yue Zhishi naturally finished the remaining half.


    He was very skilled at eating his food at a rapid pace. Since he was hungry to begin with, it took no effort at all for him to fulfil the food intake quota Song Yu had set, and because he also ate some carbs, his body gradually recovered and didn¡¯t feel as weak as it was at the start.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sleepy. I want to sleep for an entire day after this, good thing tomorrow¡¯s the weekend.¡±


    There were more people in the auditorium than when they¡¯d left after they got back. The models from the journalism school were rehearsing on stage, and Xu Lin, the strange and weird boy, was now coaching them very properly. Yue Zhishi pulled Song Yu to the backstage. It was very messy and very noisy, with sets upon sets of black dust bag covered outfits hanging on rows of portable clothing racks, and each school was separated into individual areas.


    Having arrived at the law school¡¯s section, Yue Zhishi saw Nan Jia and the rest of the team talking to the hair and makeup stylists. He called out to them, and Nan Jia saw him from far away and said, ¡°You¡¯re back. Are you all right?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡± Yue Zhishi pulled out the yoghurt and biscuits he¡¯d bought from the little supermarket near the cafeteria and shared them with everyone. He turned around, glancing at Song Yu, before turning back to his team. ¡°I brought in someone from another school, hope you guys don¡¯t mind.¡±


    ¡°Of course we don¡¯t mind!¡± Chen Pi was grinning as though he saw his idol. ¡°Senior Song Yu! Hello hello.¡±


    Song Yu nodded in greeting, but he wasn¡¯t very good at handling people he wasn¡¯t too familiar with ¡ª he hardly spoke, only silently standing behind Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°Is it our turn after the journalism school?¡± Yue Zhishi asked.


    ¡°We had our rehearsal already,¡± Nan Jia said. ¡°There were a few models in the journalism school team who were delayed because of some school matters, so they switched times with us. Don¡¯t worry, the actual competition is still in the order of the initial drawing. We¡¯ll go up after the journalism school as the fourth team.¡±


    Under the stylists¡¯ instructions, Nan Jia sat in front of the vanity mirror. One did her hair, while the other started on her makeup.


    Zhou Yi double checked once again all of their accessories and then opened the biscuit Yue Zhishi had given them. ¡°Chen Yu was almost late. Luckily he¡¯s closing the show, so he just managed to get in on time.¡±


    Yue Zhishi frowned. A large group of models entered, and the backstage became even more cramped, people pushing against others.


    After hearing the words ¡®closing the show¡¯, Song Yu¡¯s unflappable face had a bit more expression on it. ¡°Chen Yu¡­¡± He turned his face sideways and looked at Yue Zhishi, mouthing out the word ¡®substitute¡¯ when their eyes met.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s two hands moved into the shape of a large X, and then he pushed Song Yu out of the styling area. ¡°Go have some lunch first, Uncle and Aunt Rong are coming soon.¡± He grabbed out three tickets from his pocket and stuffed them into Song Yu¡¯s hand. ¡°These are your tickets, don¡¯t lose them.¡±


    ¡°I feel like you guys really need a hand,¡± Song Yu said, actively offering to help.


    ¡°No need.¡± Thinking of how he¡¯d been in a meeting all morning and had still yet to eat, Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want Song Yu to busy himself here ¡ª it¡¯d be too hard on him. ¡°We have enough people. And since you¡¯re not familiar with this stuff, you¡¯ll need some time to learn anyway.¡±


    Yue Zhishi stroked his arm when he saw the reluctant look on Song Yu¡¯s face. He said, his voice tinged with a bit of cute whining, ¡°Truly. Gege, you should go.¡±


    ¡°Contact me if something happens.¡± Song Yu held onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s arm. ¡°Your phone needs to stay contactable.¡±


    ¡°Nothing¡¯ll happen. Hurry and go rest, my body¡¯s really fine now!¡±


    ¡°Yue Zhishi.¡± Song Yu was staring at him, a small team of hair and makeup people rushing past them. He pretended to be like a normal older brother and stretched out his arms. ¡°Give me a hug. Jiayou.¡± And then, he embraced Yue Zhishi.


    When their bodies were at their closest together, Song Yu said next to his ear, ¡°Boyfriends need to be used, understand?¡±


    After he was let go, Yue Zhishi felt like Song Yu had taken away half of his heart.


    ¡°U-understood.¡±


    During the actual show, both the front of the stage and the backstage needed to coordinate together in real time to prevent any accidents from happening. According to their previous tasks allocations, Yue Zhishi and Qu Zhi were responsible for the front of the stage ¡ª but since he hadn¡¯t been able to participate in the rehearsal earlier, Yue Zhishi immediately went to look for Qu Zhi after sending Song Yu away. He discussed with her the problems that had appeared in the earlier rehearsal as well as the overall process.


    ¡°There was a model who walked too quickly earlier, so there was a section in our second round that was completely empty. The background music was still going, but everyone had already finished.¡± Qu Zhi turned on the rehearsal video for Yue Zhishi to watch. ¡°We¡¯ll have to be really careful with our timing and be ready to communicate with Chen Pi and everyone else at any time. If we have too much time left, we need to tell them to release the models a bit slower.¡±


    ¡°Okay, I understand.¡± Yue Zhishi then asked, ¡°We¡¯ll be to the side of the front stage audience, right?¡±


    ¡°Yes. I¡¯ve had a look at where we¡¯ll be standing, and the view¡¯s not bad. It¡¯s also pretty concealed.¡±


    Zhou Yi brought over their communication headsets, and after adjusting them, the voices of their team transferred over. Chen Pi was having some fun, joking around like a stand up comedian.


    All three rounds of their show had female models in the first half and male models in the second half. There were almost thirty seconds of rest time in between each round. If the models walked normally, there usually wouldn¡¯t much of an issue ¡ª at most, they¡¯d fall onstage. Nan Jia had already told each model an uncountable amount of times about what to do in case that happened.


    Time flew by extraordinarily quickly as they nervously prepared for war. The backstage was filled with the chaos of models getting dressed and made up, plans and designs being loudly yelled out and assistants from each school hurrying and running around.


    When he went to get their competitor ID cards, Yue Zhishi saw another set of clothing delivered to the journalism school. A skirt peeked out from the dust bag, and it looked excellently made.


    ¡°Le Le! Hurry, we¡¯re going to the front for a group photo of all the competitors.¡±


    ¡°Okay.¡± Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t look at the journalism school anymore, preparing to go onstage through the models¡¯ waiting area. There were a bunch of boxes left here for some reason, almost three metres high, and someone had written ¡®equipment¡¯ on them with a marker.


    He looked at them and faintly felt like they shouldn¡¯t be here. He grabbed a worker who was passing by, an ID card on his chest, and said, ¡°Hi, can I ask if these boxes can be moved away? A lot of models are going to gathering here in a bit, and I think it might not be a good idea to have the boxes here.¡±


    The worker inspected the boxes as well and said they were some of the props the stage had used before. ¡°I don¡¯t know if they can be moved away, I¡¯ll have to ask our manager first.¡±


    Inside Yue Zhishi¡¯s earpiece, Chen Pi was still rushing him to head over for the photo. Yue Zhishi could only ask again and leave it to the worker, and then he ran towards the front stage. All of the competitors from each school were gathered together, quite a large amount of people. Yue Zhishi only realised there truly wasn¡¯t much time left once he came out ¡ª the audience was already starting to trickle in.


    ¡°Le Le!¡±


    ¡°Here.¡± Yue Zhishi ran to stand behind Nan Jia, caught his breath and gave the camera an old-school peace sign that looked very cute with him doing it.


    He was getting ready to leave the front after the photos were taken, but then he suddenly heard someone yelling out his name from underneath the stage. It sounded like Jiang Yufan; Yue Zhishi followed the sound of the voice and saw a large group of people. Uncle Song and Lin Rong stood at the very front, and Jiang Yufan, Shen Mi, Qin Yan and Song Yu were behind them.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to say hi to my family.¡±


    Yue Zhishi ran down the long T stage to the very end, and Lin Rong and Song Jin also headed towards the front.


    ¡°You guys came so early.¡± Yue Zhishi crouched down, Lin Rong reaching out to stroke his head. Song Jin walked closer as well, and he kept repeating ¡®don¡¯t be nervous, you definitely can¡¯t be nervous¡¯ ¡ª Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t stop smiling.


    Lin Rong was wearing a pale pink Chanel-style tweed suit. Her makeup was soft and gentle, her hair coiled up low on her neck, and her entire outfit made her look particularly outstanding.


    ¡°Aunt Rong¡¯s so pretty today.¡± Yue Zhishi held onto her hand, swinging it back and forth. ¡°Like a super rich lady.¡±


    Ling Rong highly enjoyed his praise. ¡°But of course. I have to make my darling look good.¡± She even displayed the limited edition handbag she was carrying as she spoke. ¡°I even brought my most expensive bag. Ah right, Le Le ¡ª are you hungry? I baked some yoghurt bites for you before we came. Have some.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t babies eat those?¡± Jiang Yufan couldn¡¯t hold back his laughter.


    She opened her bag and took out a large heap. Song Yu ridiculed in an indifferent voice, ¡°Using the most expensive bag to carry snacks for the youngest kind of people.¡±


    ¡°If you provoke me again, I¡¯m going kick you out of the family, Song Yu!¡±


    Yue Zhishi still wanted to stay with them, but the backstage was already urging the people on the stage to clear out. He could only take the small bag of bites Lin Rong handed to him and hurriedly said goodbye to them.


    The moment he stood up, his eyes crossed over all of those adorable people and briefly connected with Song Yu¡¯s. He was standing at the furthest back. Song Yu¡¯s eyes were bright, and the corners of his mouth were gently curved up ¡ª in the midst of all the confusion and stress of war, he gave Yue Zhishi the most tender, most peaceful strength.


    Half an hour later, the opening ceremony began.


    The tickets Yue Zhishi had given were all in the first row. His parents were on Song Yu¡¯s left, and Qin Yan was on his right.


    Other than his previous debate competitions, this was actually Song Yu¡¯s first time participating in the arts festival. The auditorium was surging with people, many of them taking photos; many of the cameras weren¡¯t actually focused on the stage, but rather, on Song Yu.


    ¡°S.Yu, you¡¯re too eye-catching.¡± Qin Yan shook his head.


    Song Yu kept his face cold, no different from a sculpture sitting in his spot. Qin Yan knew Song Yu very well ¡ª he knew this guy didn¡¯t like places with lots of noise, especially the kind of noise that could deafen ears. But he unexpectedly realised: today, Song Yu actually hadn¡¯t shown any dislike for where he was even though he wasn¡¯t seriously watching the show.


    ¡°I feel like the designs from the first two teams aren¡¯t very interesting,¡± Qin Yan said to Song Yu, leaning closely into his ear. ¡°Their themes were pretty cool, cyberpunk or whatever, but the clothing they made seemed to have just been copied from some movies.¡±


    Song Yu wasn¡¯t really interested in the other schools, so he only nodded as though in agreement. He then asked Qin Yan which team was currently on stage.


    ¡°This team¡¯s almost finished.¡± Qin Yan looked at the list in his phone. ¡°Next up is the journalism school ¡ª oh, they¡¯re the ones favoured to win. There¡¯s a kid in their team this time whose mom is a famous designer, he¡¯s super talented. He¡¯s already provoked your brother a good few times already.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± Song Yu quickly thought of something and gave out a summarised description. ¡°That kid with a not quite normal brain.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve seen him?¡±


    Song Yu hummed in agreement. ¡°Saw him at midday. He was pushing and pulling at Yue Zhishi, he didn¡¯t look very respectable.¡±


    ¡°Really¡­¡± Qin Yan felt like it was incredibly insulting for someone to be called ¡®not respectable¡¯ from a respectable person such as Song Yu. But after thinking about it, he thought Xu Lin wasn¡¯t quite that bad.


    The host¡¯s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. ¡°Next up, our journalism and communication school will be revealing their designs!¡±


    The stage lights immediately dimmed; the large screen was also instantly covered in black.


    Suddenly, the darkened screen turned into a blue screen, indicating an error.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t that the WindowsXP blue screen of death?¡±


    ¡°No way, our university¡¯s computers aren¡¯t that old, are they?¡±


    In the next moment, the blue screen disintegrated into spots of light, diffusing out in a set rhythm; it felt like lo-fi sci-fi. The background music started, the electronic distortion of a sweet female, barbie-like voice ¡ª it was an extremely retro millennial bubblegum dance song, one that had been popular for a time at the beginning of the century.


    The model opening the show had beautiful features. Her straight pink hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, and her outfit was made of tight, shiny silver patent leather. She wore a pair of baby blue sunglasses, a toy gun propped on her shoulder.


    Her stage walk was extremely professional, every step steadily landing on each pulse of the music. Multicoloured lights fell onto her and followed along with the curve of her walk, fully displaying the polarised light of her outfit¡¯s reflective material.


    The model¡¯s ending pose was to shoot at the sky ¡ª but what came out of the gun were sparkling silver fragments.


    ¡°Not bad.¡± Qin Yan sat up straight all at once. ¡°Everything suddenly feels high-quality.¡±


    Song Yu also raised his head to watch. It was true; the journalism school¡¯s opening display was gimmicky enough to capture everyone¡¯s attention, and they¡¯d also found a very expressive model to open their show. Several models followed behind her, all of the outfits highly consistent with the previous one and closely related to the main theme of ¡®millennium¡¯. They were way more professional looking compared to the previous two schools.


    ¡°The choice of background music¡¯s also fantastic.¡±


    Jiang Yufan sat in the second row. He was initially following along with everyone¡¯s enthusiasm and enjoyment of the show, but as he continued to have fun, he saw Yue Zhishi in the corner under the front stage. ¡°Eh? Le Le¡¯s over there.¡±


    Song Yu gazed over as well and saw Yue Zhishi standing under the part of the stage where the models would enter.


    ¡°They should be getting ready.¡±


    Song Yu looked over from far away and saw Yue Zhishi wearing a white sweater. He¡¯d pushed one side of his hair behind his ear, and he looked particularly pure underneath the candy-coloured stage lights, standing out and out of place. He was absorbed in watching his opponent¡¯s productions, and he was like a child who¡¯d just entered a science museum ¡ª his eyes were glowing, and they would occasionally fill with wonder. He would even nudge Qu Zhi, who was standing next to him, and point at an outfit for her to see.


    Ever since he noticed Yue Zhishi standing beneath the stage, Song Yu had utterly no idea what designs or models came after. Everyone¡¯s eyes were on the stage, with the exception of Song Yu ¡ª from the beginning to the end, his eyes were focused entirely on the dark, small corner to the side of the stage.


    ¡°The closing design for the show¡¯s too cool.¡± Qin Yan was spellbound, and he patted Song Yu¡¯s arm. ¡°Look.¡±


    His gaze returned back to the stage. The final design was truly very different from the ones that came before; the model was in a massive translucent plastic globe, and it would slightly roll on the floor with each step the model took. The entire orb glittered as it reflected light, very much like the dazzling disco balls of the early 2000s.


    Once the model arrived at the end of the stage, she broke through the globe from the inside and came out, displaying her transparent latex one piece that looked highly technological.


    ¡°This one¡¯s absolutely amazing. It¡¯s a large production, worthy of someone with professional resources.¡± Qin Yan started applauding with a large part of the audience, and when the final model completed her run, all of the models returned back on stage. The students in the journalism team also came on stage, and they expressed their thanks to the audience together.


    Standing underneath the stage, Yue Zhishi studied their designs, almost forgetting they were the productions of his competitor. Many girls got onto the stage to gift Xu Lin flowers, and even Yue Zhishi thought they¡¯d deserved it. They had truly unfolded the future retro aesthetics of the millennium to its greatest.


    ¡°Drawing a good theme is really worth it,¡± Zhou Yi sighed over the headset.


    Wearing all black, Qu Zhi held onto her earpiece and looked like a capable and experienced female secret agent. ¡°The stage¡¯s clear. We¡¯re up next, prepare to start. Nan Jia.¡±


    ¡°Mn, I¡¯m ready.¡±


    The stage dimmed. Yue Zhishi coordinated with Nan Jia over the headset. ¡°Okay, the music and the screen next. Countdown.¡±


    ¡°Three, two, one.¡±


    A scroll painting of an ancient beauty wearing a flower hairpin unfolded apart on the screen, and they¡¯d specifically made it look like it was splashed wet by a bit of rain. The background music began with a peal of pipa strings, and a shower of golden top lights fell onto Nan Jia as she opened the show.


    Rainwater started to descend onto the long, long T stage. Nan Jia strolled down it leisurely, her black hair combed up into a high bun with buyao hair ornaments and flower hairpins. The golden veil on her bamboo hat shielded parts of her face, and she wore a red, straight-collared chest-high ruqun embroidered with peonies. A gold silk oilskin lay on top.


    ¡°Good. There are still five more seconds, you can strike your pose.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes kept flickering between Nan Jia and the stopwatch in his hands.


    Nan Jia arrived at the very front and tilted her face sideways; a long and thin neck peeked out from the split in the veil. It was incredibly gorgeous.


    When she turned around, she picked up her dress and swept it high ¡ª the luxurious skirt flew up in a beautiful curve.


    ¡°That would definitely be very pretty under slow-motion,¡± Qu Zhi quietly said, watching Nan Jia.


    ¡°Okay.¡± Yue Zhishi started to call out for the next model. ¡°Get ready to go up.¡±


    Suddenly, he heard a loud crash from backstage; he immediately questioned Chen Pi, who was on duty in the models¡¯ waiting area. ¡°What¡¯s wrong? What happened?¡±


    ¡°Something fell down.¡±


    He glanced at his stopwatch. The second model had yet to arrive at the entrance to the stage, so Yue Zhishi quickly said to Nan Jia, ¡°Do another pose once you get to the end!¡±


    Nan Jia strode down calmly, steadily and securely walking to the very end before turning around once again. They hadn¡¯t planned on taking off her golden veiled bamboo hat, but she pulled it off and revealed her entire face ¡ª she lifted up her chin lightly and gave the audience a faint smile.


    Chen Pi¡¯s voice continuously came through, and Yue Zhishi once again asked if something had happened.


    ¡°Wait, someone¡¯s injured ¡ª I¡¯m checking now.¡±


    ¡°Fucking hell, who placed these steel framed boxes so high!¡±


    ¡°Our model got hit because of you guys!¡±


    ¡°Stop yelling.¡± Yue Zhishi was a bit flustered, and he walked back and forth in that dark corner a few times. He composed himself and asked, ¡°Who¡¯s injured? How many people? Is the injury serious?¡±


    ¡°Your male model for the end of the show got injured! The boxes squashed his leg.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart seemed to heavily, fiercely fall. He didn¡¯t even realise he¡¯d actually crouched down; he breathed in deeply twice and then stood back up, flying to the backstage. When he saw that Chen Yu¡¯s leg couldn¡¯t even move at all, Yue Zhishi could still be considered as fairly composed.


    ¡°First change out of the clothes and then go to the hospital.¡±


    ¡°Then what¡¯ll we do about the closing?¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice turned loud. ¡°That¡¯s not as important as the model¡¯s safety!¡±


    He was tense from stress, and in order to prevent his hands from shaking, he tightly fisted them up and took two steps back and forth, his breathing coming short and fast from the clamour of the environment.


    Abruptly, a voice came through ¡ª Yue Zhishi turned his head around and saw a tall silhouette appear in the backstage, the light shining against it. That body took large steps towards him and pulled off its coat as it walked, throwing it to the side like a soldier preparing to head to the front line at any moment.


    ¡°Song Yu?¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought he was seeing things. He was just about to speak when Song Yu directly pulled him into his arms.


    He stroked Yue Zhishi¡¯s head like a dependable older brother and said some superficial words everyone could hear. ¡°Don¡¯t panic.¡±


    Song Yu was as unperturbed as a model long since familiar with the entire process. ¡°I¡¯ll go up for him. Style me up simply, it needs to be fast.¡±


    Yue Zhishi had still yet to understand. ¡°Why are you¡­¡±


    Song Yu looked at him, giving him an extremely stable strength.


    ¡°Weren¡¯t the clothes designed for me anyway?¡±


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, other people aren¡¯t dependable.¡± He smiled and then eased closer to say to him ¡ª


    ¡°No one is as dependable as your boyfriend.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Little Jade¡¯s talk of substitute was just him drinking vinegar and purposefully joking with his little brother. Since Le Le didn¡¯t invite him (Le Le thought he wouldn¡¯t want to do it, and Nan Jia wasn¡¯t able to successfully invite him) and directly went to find someone so similar to him that even Qin Yan thought that guy was him, he felt a bit sour. He also didn¡¯t say it in front of the guy and other people, he was just teasing Le Le, don¡¯t misunderstand Little Jade~

 CH 84

    Chapter 84: Transparent Raincoat


    The entire audience was shocked as soon as the law school¡¯s opening design came out ¡ª it was an absolutely stunning scene of an ancient beauty walking within the rain.


    ¡°Holy shit, she deserves to be the school flower. Nan Jia¡¯s too beautiful.¡± Qin Yan had been stunned the moment Nan Jia pulled off her bamboo hat during her second pose. He turned his head over, only to realise Song Yu hadn¡¯t been seriously watching the show at all; his head was turned to the side.


    He shook Song Yu¡¯s arm. ¡°You really aren¡¯t interested in looks. Our Nan Jia¡¯s so pretty, and yet you¡¯re not even looking?¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t retort back. He said under his breath as though to himself, ¡°Did something happen?¡±


    ¡°What¡¯d you say?¡±


    Without waiting for Qin Yan to understand, Song Yu stood up and directly left.


    ¡°Hey!¡± Lin Rong had been focused on recording the show, and when she noticed her son suddenly getting up, she used a low voice to call out to him, trying to keep her rich lady demeanour. ¡°Xiao Yu, what are you doing? Hurry and come back, your brother¡¯s designs are about to come out!¡±


    But Song Yu walked away without even looking back.


    Qin Yan thought Song Yu was sometimes truly very bizarre, but on second thought, perhaps he really did find the entire thing very boring.


    How could there be someone so uninteresting who didn¡¯t have a single shred of interest towards the pretty faces and perfect bodies filling up the stage.


    Just as Qin Yan was inwardly scoffing at Song Yu¡¯s indifference, Song Yu had already appeared in the backstage. When he saw the panic, he grabbed someone and asked what¡¯d happened, learning that the closing model had gotten into an accident.


    Yue Zhishi was calmly giving out commands. ¡°Qu Zhi, you take over. The rhythm of the models going on stage needs to remain stable. Chen Pi, look for volunteers and helpers to clear these boxes and props away.¡± He felt a bit of self-reproach. ¡°I should¡¯ve made sure they emptied out this area earlier.¡±


    Chen Pi was still very angry. ¡°This isn¡¯t your fault. Blame the staff ¡ª we already told them about it, but they still didn¡¯t do anything. Once the competition¡¯s over, we definitely have to complain and get them to compensate Chen Yu!¡±


    They currently didn¡¯t have the time to think about future matters. Yue Zhishi caught Zhou Yi¡¯s arm and said, ¡°Zhou Yi, please help Chen Yu change out of the clothes.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll go.¡± At this moment, Xiao Qi was no longer as delicate as before, coming forward to hold Chen Yu¡¯s arm. ¡°Zhou Yi still needs to be responsible for the switching of models backstage. Let me do it.¡±


    In the beginning, everyone had worried about Xiao Qi¡¯s timidity and the possibility of her not daring to speak, and so they¡¯d assigned her to the styling team in consideration. Now that all the models had been dressed up and styled, the backstage truly did need a guy more.


    Their first round¡¯s runway was already more than half-finished. Qu Zhi was still at the front and was very steadily giving them feedback about the show ¡ª there wasn¡¯t much time left.


    ¡°Are you sure you can do it?¡± Chen Pi felt slightly doubtful; after all, Chen Yu was over 180cm. Without even mentioning the fact Xiao Qi needed to support an injured person, her standing next to him was already the most adorable height difference.


    ¡°I can.¡± Xiao Qi was very firm. ¡°I already called and asked two other guys in our year to come help.¡±


    Everything was so urgent, and so everyone let Xiao Qi support Chen Yu over to change out of his clothes. Chen Pi thought about it after they¡¯d walked off, thinking it didn¡¯t feel quite right.


    ¡°Xiao Qi¡¯s a girl with such extreme social anxiety, and yet she managed to call other people for help just for Chen Yu? And even going to a place like the hospital where there are so many people?¡±


    Zhou Yi found it strange as well. ¡°I saw Chen Yu constantly approaching Xiao Qi earlier, but she was still a bit afraid of him. Could it be¡­¡±


    ¡°Not bad, getting injured yet winning the loli¡¯s heart. Didn¡¯t get injured for nothing!¡±


    Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t able to pay attention to the team¡¯s gossiping; he rushed over to the styling area to look for Song Yu after getting his clothes.


    There wasn¡¯t much makeup on Song Yu¡¯s face. His hair was combed upwards, exposing his superior features completely, but in order to coordinate with the surprise in the final outfit of the show, the stylists had Song Yu put on a pair of smokey blue contacts.


    ¡°You have the clothes?¡± Song Yu looked towards Yue Zhishi, the deeply blue colour of his eyes underlining the cold and unhurried air about him.


    ¡°Mn.¡± Yue Zhishi pulled down the clothes from the rack. There was a certain order to the way the clothes needed to be worn, but since Song Yu was only there as an emergency model, he wasn¡¯t sure how to wear them ¡ª and so Yue Zhishi, as the designer, needed to assist.


    Only the two of them were in the dressing room. Yue Zhishi guided Song Yu through the clothes while he continued communicating with his teammates through his headset.


    ¡°Understood.¡± He swept his eyes over his watch. ¡°Three minutes are enough.¡±


    Pulling off the sweater he had on, Song Yu revealed his bare chest. Yue Zhishi accidentally met his eyes as he handed over the clothes, and he lowered his head back down bashfully. ¡°Uh, that one goes inside. And the translucent button up raincoat goes outside.¡±


    Song Yu saw his pink ears and was just about to tease him about why he was so embarrassed when they hadn¡¯t done anything when the door suddenly opened. Moving on reflex, Yue Zhishi pulled open that shirt meant to be worn on the outside and covered Song Yu up; he swiftly turned his head around and said to the intruding model from another school, ¡°Someone¡¯s changing.¡±


    The model instantly apologised and closed the door. Yue Zhishi let out a sigh in relief ¡ª and yet Song Yu started to chuckle.


    ¡°Was that necessary?¡± He pinched Yue Zhishi¡¯s face and then pointed at the shirt in his hands, ridiculing how Yue Zhishi had done something without thinking. ¡°The shirt¡¯s transparent.¡±


    That line was so familiar.


    Yue Zhishi pushed the clothes into his hand, fumbling, and urged as he turned around, ¡°Hurry and change.¡±


    ¡°Looks like the puppy¡¯s very protective of his food,¡± Song Yu said, voice casual. He put on the inner blue shirt and then abruptly realised there were some dark red splotches on it ¡ª they looked like intentional embellishments, but they looked even more like bloodstains.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart was pounding; it had been like that since Song Yu had suddenly appeared. He felt like he still couldn¡¯t understand Song Yu.


    ¡°How did you end up here?¡± Yue Zhishi sniffed. He kept his back to Song Yu as he softly said, ¡°I thought you didn¡¯t want everyone looking at you.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s correct, I don¡¯t like it when people do. But how I treat someone depends on who it is. You didn¡¯t ask me.¡±


    Yue Zhishi spun around without conscious thought and argued to Song Yu¡¯s face, ¡°Didn¡¯t senior Nan Jia look for you?¡±


    Song Yu had already changed into the clothes and took the cowboy hat from Yue Zhishi¡¯s hands, hanging it on his waist according to Yue Zhishi¡¯s previous instructions. He repeated his earlier words once again. ¡°You didn¡¯t ask me.¡±


    Yue Zhishi first frowned, and then that pair of large eyes blinked twice before he finally pouted.


    ¡°How could there be someone as troublesome as you, I even thought you¡­¡±


    ¡°How could there be someone as silly as you,¡± Song Yu said, interrupting his thoughts. ¡°I waited for so long, only to end up waiting for someone very similar to me. You may as well anger me to death.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was just about to cutely whine, but then Qu Zhi¡¯s voice came through his earpiece. He didn¡¯t stay there for much longer, holding Song Yu¡¯s hand as they ran to the models¡¯ waiting area.


    Within the congested and chaotic corridors, the person he loved most ran with him towards that bright stage. And the clothes he¡¯d thought would never touch his body: they now emerged openly and honestly towards everyone ¡ª through him.


    ¡°It¡¯s the second round¡¯s final outfit right now.¡± As she stood under the stage, Qu Zhi said to the model, ¡°You¡¯re going a bit fast, take a few more seconds on your pose.¡±


    Yue Zhishi and Song Yu arrived at the models¡¯ waiting area, the boxes now already cleared away. Chen Pi¡¯s eyes widened as soon as he saw Song Yu; from the bottom of his heart, he sighed, ¡°Handsome guys will be handsome¡­. Le Le, would I be able to reincarnate into your family in my next life?¡±


    ¡°Stop joking around.¡± Yue Zhishi focused on the monitor screen. The model for the luminous bodysuit Qu Zhi had designed for the second round had already finished, and she was currently heading back inside.


    The remaining models were ready for the last round. Yue Zhishi told them, ¡°Everyone open your umbrellas, remember you have to head out with them held up.¡±


    Faced with such a tense and complicated competition, that small child who had once been only able to follow around behind him was now able to independently take charge. There was a subtle and complicated emotion in Song Yu¡¯s heart ¡ª he really wanted to stroke Yue Zhishi¡¯s hair.


    Chen Pi started to count down, and Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart started to race. This final round was their elevation of their ¡®rain¡¯ theme; Yue Zhishi had essentially thought up the conceptual design by himself while the other team members had merely refined and filled it in.


    If Song Yu hadn¡¯t been standing by his side at this very moment, no matter how nervous he was, Yue Zhishi wouldn¡¯t have displayed it. He would¡¯ve forcefully clenched his hands together and paced back and forth a few times at the very most, but Song Yu was now in a place Yue Zhishi could reach out and touch.


    He was constantly, continuously being reminded ¡ª he now had someone he could depend on.


    Yue Zhishi caught Song Yu¡¯s arm and called out gege once, the speed of his words coming very quickly as he said, ¡°Make sure you¡¯re paying attention to your earpiece, we¡¯ll immediately let you know if something¡¯s happening. Oh yes, the pose ¡ª you still remember what I said, right? You can also just walk naturally, and what else is there¡­ Let me think.¡±


    Seeing how nervous he was, Song Yu deliberately asked in order to divert his attention, ¡°What reward will you give me for helping you with something so important?¡±


    Yue Zhishi tilted up his head as soon as he heard the question; his pair of brown eyes slightly widened, but he very quickly accepted Song Yu¡¯s exploitation. ¡°Up to you. I¡¯ll give you whatever you want.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Really. I¡¯ll give you anything.¡± Yue Zhishi was as earnest as a little child taking out all of his toys.


    Song Yu¡¯s mouth lightly curved. He ended up ruffling Yue Zhishi¡¯s hair.


    The second round¡¯s lights were the highly saturated blue of cyber-culture, and so they darkened during the thirty seconds of transition.


    ¡°Three, two, one.¡± Chen Pi commanded the third round¡¯s opening model, ¡°Go!¡±


    Separate rays of platinum lights aimed downwards and lit up the long and narrow T stage, and more rain came from the top of the stage compared to the last two rounds.


    The first model alighting onstage was particularly tall, wearing a black beret and a black mask. A large black transparent umbrella made out of a soft plastic was held up, and there was a silver chain twined around the handle, snaking all the way to the hand holding the umbrella.


    ¡°Did you design this outfit too?¡± Song Yu stared at the model¡¯s stage walk, thinking his steps looked like a female walk.


    ¡°Mn. I designed half of the outfits in this round.¡±


    The outermost layer of the model¡¯s clothes was an ill-fitting, voluminous black suit jacket. There were many white paper seals attached to the jacket, as though he himself was sealed away. Step by step, the model arrived at the halfway point of the T stage, and then Yue Zhishi held onto his headset and told the model, ¡°Now. Move quickly.¡±


    He had just spoken when the model lifted his left hand and tore off the suit jacket on his body, revealing a vividly red one-piece dress. The ill-fitting suit jacket was thrown off the stage, and in the midst of the audience¡¯s cries of surprise, he took off his hat ¡ª long, straight and jet black hair cascaded down. For his pose, he pulled off his mask and revealed striking feminine eye makeup and red lips.


    Someone below the stage had already realised. ¡°Does this stand for trans?¡±


    ¡°I think so, no wonder they got a male model. The outfit should mean that!¡±


    ¡°So cool!¡±


    The audience¡¯s emotions were already ignited by the third round¡¯s opening. Holding up the umbrella, the model walked away, leaving behind a silhouette that didn¡¯t quite match with the common expectations of the world, and yet was still extremely beautiful.


    Models headed onstage one by one immediately after. One of them was dressed in numerous fabrics that had been processed to look like the ¡®shabby¡¯ trappings of youth. She undid her buttons for her pose ¡ª a golden heart lay inside.


    Another model wore an oversized black windbreaker, derogatory words such as ¡®you¡¯re terrible¡¯ and ¡®you¡¯re too ugly¡¯ printed on top. Her mask had a smile on it, and for her pose, she took it off. There was still another mask underneath ¡ª except now, it held lips downturned in the shape of a cry.


    Other than these, there was also a girl who wore a white dress dotted with rain. The front of it was perfect and gorgeous, and yet the back had been shredded, stained with mud and about to fall apart. A lofty woman, high above others, whose magnificent clothes were stamped with banknotes and flowers and yet held no joy on her face. A lady, specifically made up to look like an old granny, who wore a flowery skirt only a young girl would wear.


    All of these vastly different models walked towards the audience in the rain. The stamped words on their clothes looked different at first glance, but they were actually all made from the various shapes of the character for ¡®rain¡¯; from oracle bone script to regular script, the evolving fonts came together and became distinct words.


    There was one similarity among the models. Every single one of them held up a black umbrella ¡ª an umbrella that was wrapped in chains.


    ¡°It¡¯s almost your turn.¡± His heart about to fly out of his chest, Yue Zhishi double checked that the captions on the screen were changing.


    Compared to the journalism team¡¯s eye-catching production, the law school¡¯s stage background was extremely simple. They used only a shifting screen of rain for their final round, a glass window in front. The glass was faintly fogged up, and there were two rows of English words that looked like they had been written by a finger.


    The first row had not changed since the beginning. Rain is a gift of nature.


    But the second row would change upon each model¡¯s appearance, corresponding to the ever-changing chemical element of their theme.


    The caption for the closing of the show was a classic line from a movie:


    Love is a force of nature.


    When Song Yu saw the background quote that belonged to him, he realised his suspicion from earlier when he was changing his clothes had now received an answer.


    And so, in the last few seconds before he walked, Song Yu stood at the entrance to the stage and leaned in closely to Yue Zhishi. In the midst of the music that hid away everything, he said one line.


    It was also a line from a movie.


    ¡°I wish I knew how to quit you.¡±


    It was as though an electric current ran through Yue Zhishi¡¯s entire body when he heard, and his clear, light coloured eyes filled with an unforeseen joyful surprise as if in answer to an obscure code word.


    He was a little too surprised, and before he could say another word, Song Yu had already walked onstage.


    As he walked out towards everyone¡¯s eyes, Song Yu wore a blue button-up shirt smeared with blood. He was clearly holding up an umbrella like all the other models, but he also wore a dark yellow raincoat on top of his shirt. It was a long, transparent button-up raincoat, reaching down to his calves. Compared to many of the other outfits earlier, this one wasn¡¯t stamped with words and looked extraordinary clean.


    The two colours overlapped, and the two shirts nested into each other; both the impact and the composition of the design were extremely outstanding. A seemingly mismatched western cowboy hat hung in front of his waist, and it was the largest hint for this entire outfit.


    And that pair of melancholy blue eyes also came from a male lead within a movie.


    The rain came down in torrents, and Song Yu strode towards the end of the T stage and then, stood still.


    Some audience members below had already guessed the name of the movie from the line on the screen and Song Yu¡¯s outfit.


    ¡°Two bloody shirts stuck together, as well as a cowboy hat and blue eyes. Is this an homage to Brokeback Mountain?¡±


    ¡°So this outfit is hinting at those who identify as homosexual?¡±


    For his pose, Song Yu lowered his right hand that was holding up the umbrella. Different from everyone else before, he gave up on concealment ¡ª he stoically, calmly accepted the rain.


    And this torrential rain accepted him as well. The rainwater drenched the raincoat he wore on the outside, and the originally transparent fabric, after being doused with water, suddenly revealed different and diverse colours.


    Little by little, a curved rainbow appeared on his raincoat.


    ¡°So your finishing move is this!¡± Chen Pi sharply smacked Yue Zhishi¡¯s arm. ¡°That¡¯s too cool, how¡¯d you do it?¡±


    ¡°I changed the raincoat fabric using a special process. I added a rainbow pattern onto it using dyes that would change colour after coming into contact with water. You wouldn¡¯t really be able to see it when the fabric¡¯s dry, the pattern¡¯s pretty much completely clear. I experimented so many times just for this ¡ª the dye was also purchased in Guangzhou.¡±


    ¡°Your trip to Guangzhou was so worth it, not only did you get fabric for the first two rounds, you even managed to get special dyes. The rainbow¡¯s too beautiful.¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡± Yue Zhishi looked at the Song Yu displayed on the monitor, and let out a smile.


    ¡°Once the skies clear after the rain, shouldn¡¯t there be rainbows?¡±


    After Song Yu turned around, all of the models once again headed onto the T stage. Except this time, the umbrellas in their hands were no longer black ¡ª but rather, hued with rainbows.


    Every single model was a distinctive symbol, representing different people. They stood on the rain-soaked stage, and the background music, originally pounding with rhythm, also started to transform. It turned into the classic title song from Singin¡¯ in the Rain.


    When the lyrics ¡°I¡¯m singing in the rain¡± arrived, the entire mass of models did the same thing as Song Yu: they let go of the umbrellas that concealed yet shackled them and stood next to each other on the long, long stage, shoulder to shoulder. There were no lampposts here for them to dance on, so everyone faced the audience with their shoulders straight and heads high. They raised up their faces under the heavy rain that fell equally for every single person, and like Andy from Shawshank Redemption, they opened up their arms towards the sky and torrential rain, unreservedly rejoicing in the gifted equality and freedom.


    And the words on the screen also changed ¡ª it became a row of beautiful handwriting.


    [We are so different, but we are all standing in the rain.]


    The music faded, and the hazy, fogged up glass window was no longer the same. Everything became clear, shadows replaced by sunlight, and the rain left behind a final present: a glorious rainbow.


    The stage¡¯s rain also stopped, and the stage lights became incredibly bright. The designers headed onstage one by one, gathering together with the models.


    Thunderous applause rang out, many students even giving them standing ovations. It was as though this was no longer only a clothing exhibition ¡ª but rather, a powerful and brilliant statement.


    With his own selfish motives, Yue Zhishi stood next to Song Yu as everyone watched on. There was a small rainbow flag on his cheekbone, and with his soft hair and white sweater, he looked like an angel.


    Just like everyone else on the stage, he openly held Song Yu¡¯s hand underneath the lights and bent over at the waist, giving the audience a deep bow of gratitude.


    The moment he straightened up, he turned his head; he and Song Yu looked at each other and shared a smile.


    Xiao Qi managed to rush back for the end, her neck circled by Chen Yu¡¯s scarf. Qu Zhi and Nan Jia were hugging each other; Chen Pi, who had always been their team¡¯s uplifting and humorous heart, had reddened eyes, and Zhou Yi ¡ª always so mournful and uncertain ¡ª finally, in this moment, laughed in happiness and self-assurance.


    ¡°Thank you to the law school for showing us such a spectacular fashion show! Now, let¡¯s have our next school competitors begin their show!¡±


    Curtains descended on their dream, and as the group of people walked off stage, Song Yu arrived behind Yue Zhishi within the surging flow of people. He caught his arm and took him away, separating them from the crowded sea of people.


    They were very close to each other, Yue Zhishi¡¯s back almost leaning on Song Yu¡¯s chest. But Song Yu¡¯s raincoat still had water on it, and he remained a slight distance away, not wanting Yue Zhishi to get wet.


    Having thought of something, Song Yu couldn¡¯t help but lower his head and ask, easing in, ¡°Why did you turn the outer shirt into a raincoat?¡±


    The two overlapped shirts were an homage to Brokeback Mountain¡¯s tearjerking ending. Ennis had lost Jack forever and was unable to take even his ashes away. It was only when he noticed the postcard and the two shirts hanging together in Jack¡¯s closet that he started to cry in grief, understanding that those items were all that were left of them.


    They left that cramped passage and entered the relatively spacious backstage. Yue Zhishi slightly retreated, going to Song Yu¡¯s side.


    ¡°As I was designing this round, I remembered many things. I thought of the first time I came here to look for you after you distanced yourself away from me once you started university. I was holding a clear umbrella that couldn¡¯t conceal anything. At that time, the feelings in my heart should¡¯ve been completely exposed, and it was just a coincidence that you also lying to yourself. To you, I am forever transparent.¡±


    ¡°Did you know?¡± He tried to recount his memories in a relatively light voice. ¡°Before I confessed to you while woozy from a fever, there was a period of time I was confused. I remember there was a day that kept pouring. I couldn¡¯t sleep and didn¡¯t dare look for you; I just hid myself away and watched the movie. I also read the short story. There¡¯s a line in the story that goes: ¡®I placed your shirt in mine, thinking I could protect you that way.¡¯¡±


    The backstage was filled with noise, and in order for Song Yu to hear him clearly, Yue Zhishi leaned in so closely that his warm breaths softly puffed onto the side of Song Yu¡¯s face.


    ¡°The two shirts represented the two of them. Even if there was nothing left in the end, the shirts were like two inseparable layers of skin, growing together.¡±


    Song Yu was silently listening, and he thought of the globe he¡¯d covered up, layer by layer. Retaining a lover¡¯s shirt didn¡¯t quite match Yue Zhishi¡¯s personality, but it was very much something foolish he himself would do.


    ¡°It was raining really loudly outside the dorm at that time. The noise was so loud I started to imagine strange things. I imagined that if it were me, I definitely couldn¡¯t be only a cotton shirt worn on the outside, especially on such a rainy day.¡±


    He gazed towards Song Yu¡¯s deep eyes, a pure smile on his face.


    ¡°I¡¯d be a transparent raincoat ¡ª that way, you wouldn¡¯t get rained on.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    The night he finished Brokeback Mountain, Yue Zhishi decided to leave behind his ashes in his will. But at that time, he had only dared to write: my older brother, Song Yu.

 CH 85

    Chapter 85: Romantic Direction


    After hearing Yue Zhishi¡¯s words, for a moment, Song Yu thought he was the luckiest person in the world.


    The best child in the world had arrived to his side, had become his lover and had given all of himself to him.


    There was nothing else worth regretting.


    ¡°What do you think?¡± Yue Zhishi rubbed the back of his neck, not quite daring to look at Song Yu¡¯s face after saying so much. ¡°I only just managed to hold back from telling you. Ah, that¡¯s right,¡± he caught Song Yu¡¯s sleeve and rolled up the cuff of the inner shirt for him to see, ¡°I stitched this.¡±


    It was a row of numbers, and at first glance, it looked like a row of cold and indifferent binary numerals.


    11011010


    He revealed a very adorable smile and said to Song Yu in a very quiet voice, ¡°Our birthdays.¡±


    ¡°This could be considered as one of your birthday gifts. Out of all the outfits, I made only this shirt by hand.¡± He said to Song Yu, ¡°Xiao Qi taught me, and it took me a long time to finish it. It¡¯s for you.¡±


    ¡°Then why were you prepared to let someone else wear it?¡± Song Yu made things difficult for him on purpose. ¡°The shirt¡¯s first time wasn¡¯t even left to me.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not like that.¡± Yue Zhishi held his arm. ¡°Chen Yu wasn¡¯t wearing this one¡­¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s another one, and that one doesn¡¯t have our birthday numbers on it. That one¡¯s not made by hand. It¡¯s in a box in the changing room, I put it there after Chen Yu took it off. I grabbed this one from my bag ¡ª it was meant to be for you.¡±


    Seeing him explain so docilely, Song Yu lifted a hand; he wanted to stroke Yue Zhishi¡¯s face, but with so many people around, he could only ruffle his hair.


    He was very clear: Yue Zhishi, at nineteen years old, was already very mature and could calmly handle any problems. Even if he hadn¡¯t appeared today, it wasn¡¯t as if Yue Zhishi wouldn¡¯t be able to complete this fashion show; he would¡¯ve had many, many ideas.


    But when he remembered how Yue Zhishi had looked when struggling to hold back his surprise, when he saw these deeply hidden little heartfelt thoughts, Song Yu felt Yue Zhishi was still the same as when he¡¯d been three years old, when he¡¯d been six years old. In expressing his love, he was forever a pure and simple child, never asking for anything in return.


    As they walked towards the changing room, Song Yu had his head down, examining the cuff. The numbers had been stitched neatly and carefully, and the remnants of the traced stitching pattern could still be seen. He unexpectedly discovered a dark blue embroidered decoration to the side of numbers ¡ª it looked like a set of Libra scales. There was a scorpion in its left scale, and a love heart in its right.


    In the past, Song Yu would always sink into a kind of pessimistic anticipation that was very much out of character for himself, thinking that perhaps what Yue Zhishi felt for him was something similar to a nestling who had no way of parting with its childhood companion. He¡¯d thought Yue Zhishi would one day understand what love was, leave him and then run towards the person who had actually stirred his heart.


    But now, Song Yu understood ¡ª from the beginning to the end, it had simply been himself who had been too arrogant, too conceited.


    The person he liked was a natural born romantic.


    No one knew how to love someone better than Yue Zhishi did.


    ¡°Do you like it?¡± Yue Zhishi hoped to get a single word of praise, and so he slightly exaggerated as he told Song Yu just how long it¡¯d taken him to make the shirt, just how hard it had been to use the sewing machine.


    ¡°I failed so many times, but good thing I¡¯m pretty smart. I didn¡¯t prick my hands when embroidering.¡±


    ¡°Stop talking.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was a bit startled when he heard those words from Song Yu; he even slightly widened his eyes, thinking he¡¯d said something wrong. But Song Yu lowered his head, shortened the distance between them and told him, in the bustling and crowded backstage ¡ª


    ¡°If you keep talking, I won¡¯t be able to hold back from kissing you in here.¡±


    His heart leaped out of his control.


    ¡°You should hurry and change, your hair¡¯s all wet.¡±


    He was so very cute as he pushed Song Yu away with his head lowered, his soft white sweater faintly rising from the press of his thin shoulder-blades.


    Thinking of Yue Zhishi¡¯s bare back, Song Yu reached out to touch those blades before heading inside to change his clothes in satisfaction.


    Yue Zhishi called the injured Chen Yu as he waited for Song Yu. He asked after his injury, and he¡¯d initially thought Chen Yu wouldn¡¯t be in a good mood ¡ª but unexpectedly, Chen Yu was almost floating from happiness, excitedly telling Yue Zhishi he was no longer single.


    That was fantastic news. After hanging up the phone, Yue Zhishi happily stretched; as soon as he lowered his head, he saw Xu Lin walking towards him. He was still as usual, ¡®Mixed Sweetheart¡¯ coming out of his mouth as soon as he opened it.


    ¡°Stop calling me that.¡± Yue Zhishi glanced back at the changing room, worried Song Yu would hear.


    ¡°Why? Are you worried about me having feelings for you?¡± Xu Lin crossed his arms over his chest. ¡°I do think you look good, but I prefer the tall, handsome, bright and cheerful active type.¡±


    Yue Zhishi frowned in confusion. ¡°Your description¡­¡±


    His first reaction was ¡ª he knew someone like that. His second reaction was ¡ª no matter how he thought about it, those words didn¡¯t seem to describe a girl at all.


    Just as Yue Zhishi was pondering whether he should first introduce a friend to Xu Lin or whether he should first politely ask his sexual orientation, Xu Lin held out a hand to him.


    ¡°I heard you designed the closing show outfit. It was very well-done. I¡¯m impressed.¡±


    It was probably habit for Yue Zhishi to reach out and hold a hand that¡¯d been stretched out; he only felt something was off after he clasped Xu Lin¡¯s hand in return. ¡°Wait, why are you like a different person today? Shouldn¡¯t it be something like, ¡®you guys are too weak, I¡¯ll pound you into the ground¡¯?¡±


    The look on Xu Lin¡¯s face shifted as he saw Yue Zhishi imitating him, quickly pulling back his hand in both awkwardness and embarrassment. ¡°Then what do you want? Should I bow and apologise, and then say I shouldn¡¯t have called the law school useless? That I shouldn¡¯t have asked you to model for me?¡±


    Yue Zhishi laughed, the memory of their first meeting emerging in front of his eyes. He then went to hold Xu Lin¡¯s hand again and gave it a firm shake. ¡°Thank you.¡±


    Xu Lin froze for a bit. ¡°You¡¯re so weird¡­ Why are you thanking me?¡±


    ¡°Because you¡¯re also someone very talented. I¡¯m very happy at being recognised by you.¡±


    After finishing their handshake, Xu Lin was a bit lost at where he should put his hand. He wanted to frantically stuff it into his pocket, but he realised his current jacket had no pocket.


    In handling cats and everything similar to cats, Yue Zhishi was very adept.


    Song Yu came out of the dressing room and just so happened to see Xu Lin and Yue Zhishi exchanging their WeChats; he stood by the side and watched, arms around his chest.


    Xu Lin saw him as well. There was still some lingering fear in his heart towards Song Yu, and so he didn¡¯t talk for much longer. ¡°Mixed Sweetheart, I¡¯m off.¡±


    ¡°I have a name¡­¡± Helpless, Yue Zhishi watched as he walked off. He saw the meaningful look on Song Yu¡¯s face as soon as he turned around.


    Song Yu repeated Xu Lin¡¯s name for Yue Zhishi, each word clearly and distinctively leaving his mouth. ¡°Mixed Sweetheart.¡±


    Yue Zhishi immediately declared his innocence. ¡°He just said he¡¯s not interested in me.¡±


    ¡°He better not be.¡±


    Having gone through what they¡¯d felt was a war, everyone in the law school team stayed behind to clean up backstage. The event had finished by the name they came out again, and they followed the instructions from the organiser¡¯s workers, arriving at the assigned seating area for all of the competitors. The law school¡¯s seats were at the furthest right in the front row, close to the exit corridor. There was an extra seat there, and so Yue Zhishi implored Song Yu to sit with him.


    Their hearts that had taken so much effort to calm down once again turned anxious. Even though everyone had consistently comforted each other by saying the results weren¡¯t important, now that they had truly arrived at that moment, there was not a single person who didn¡¯t care.


    ¡°Next, let¡¯s have one of our judges, Ms Zhang Yunqing, announce the results of our clothing design competition in this year¡¯s arts festival.¡±


    Chen Pi leaned over to Yue Zhishi. ¡°She¡¯s that classmate of Xu Lin¡¯s mom. She¡¯s also a designer.¡±


    ¡°I hear Xu Lin¡¯s mom ordered a celebration cake for her son a long time ago.¡±


    Cake¡­


    Yue Zhishi tugged Song Yu¡¯s sleeve and looked at him under the dim lights. ¡°I want to eat cake too.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll make one for you.¡± Song Yu touched the back of his hand.


    His heart instantly steadied; Yue Zhishi naturally stopped caring anymore ¡ª no one else¡¯s recognition was worth Song Yu¡¯s.


    Ms Zhang stood on stage, her demeanour outstanding, and took hold of that sealed envelope, saying a few opening words. The workers called out towards the law school team, and they gathered with the other competitors before heading onstage together, standing in front of the large screen as they waited for the results.


    Zhang Yunqing opened the envelope, glanced at it and then announced into the microphone the third place winner, a faint smile on her face.


    Before the first and second place winners were announced, the audience yelled out the teams they supported. The screams for the law school and the journalism school were particularly loud.


    ¡°Being the dark horse doesn¡¯t feel too bad,¡± Qu Zhi said, chewing on some gum. She didn¡¯t really care about their result.


    ¡°Am I imagining things? I feel like there¡¯s a bit more people yelling out our name?¡± Zhou Yi continued to speak without much confidence.


    Qu Zhi shook her head. ¡°No, you¡¯re not imagining it.¡±


    ¡°I hope the judges can hear the cries of the common people¡­¡± Chen Pi sighed. ¡°But the other team really is well-connected, people like us with no connections shouldn¡¯t place our hopes too high.¡±


    But Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t agree. ¡°I don¡¯t think so, Xu Lin definitely isn¡¯t the type of person to rely on connections. Even though his mother can help him hire the best stylists and clothing production factories, he¡¯s a really dignified and very prideful person. He won¡¯t use his family background to fix the competition.¡±


    Zhang Yunqing didn¡¯t immediately announce the winner. ¡°I¡¯d like to say a few things. As the judges were deciding between first and second place, there was a small disagreement among us. This competition was honestly very spectacular. Comparatively speaking, the construction of one school¡¯s clothing designs were extremely excellent, and their clothes were also highly fashion-forward. Many of their clothings looked very professional, and if we displayed them to the public, there¡¯s a chance many people wouldn¡¯t believe the clothes were made by students.¡±


    She should be talking about the journalism team. Yue Zhishi admitted that every single outfit from the journalism team¡¯s ¡®millennium¡¯ theme was created very exquisitely ¡ª they looked like they were made from very experienced designers and productions.


    ¡°But,¡± Zhang Yunqing chuckled, ¡°there was another team today that taught us the significance of design. It doesn¡¯t matter how much professional experience we have, how many master craftsmen we know ¡ª what matters is whether we have creativity. Creativity is the eternal spring of design, its endless source of power, and the battle between these young adults today allowed us to see formidable sparks of inspiration. It gave us a wonderful surprise.¡±


    ¡°I must say that the allocation of themes in this competition wasn¡¯t very fair. Some themes were inherently ripe with aesthetic power, while others had no relation to fashion at all. All of us as judges couldn¡¯t imagine that such a common theme based on nature with no link to fashion could actually be developed to this extent. If this theme had been given to me, I myself might not be able to create such designs. And that must be the value behind a design competition.¡±


    She smiled. ¡°Especially that moment when rainbows appeared after the rain and everyone chose to accept the storm¡­¡±


    Without waiting for her to finish, the audience started to cheer, shouting out law school¡¯s name exactly like they¡¯d done during their show. The sounds of their joy overwhelmed the auditorium, spreading deeply into the corners of the room.


    ¡°So¡­¡±


    She looked over at the several people sitting in an unremarkable corner. ¡°Congratulations to the law school, winner of this year¡¯s arts festival clothing design competition!¡±


    The entire audience burst into well-deserved screams.


    Yue Zhishi hugged Song Yu in happiness and also gave Chen Pi, who was sitting on his left, a hug. With those teammates he¡¯d battled shoulder to shoulder with for so many days, they walked together towards the stage to receive their award.


    ¡°And at the same time, congratulations to our journalism and new communications school, second place in this year¡¯s arts festival clothing design competition!¡± Zhang Yunqing said, ¡°We also have two special awards: a Best Production Award and a Most Creative Award. The teams in the journalism and law schools are respectively awarded them as well, congratulations to the two of you!¡±


    It was as though they were dreaming. The moment he walked onstage, Yue Zhishi gazed towards Song Yu¡¯s direction. Song Yu was peacefully sitting below, applauding, and a gentle lake seemed to be reflected in his dark eyes. He was Yue Zhishi¡¯s source of inspiration, as well as the direction to which his heart turned.


    After receiving their award, it was actually Lin Rong who was the happiest; she ran to embrace him as soon as Yue Zhishi came off the stage, excitedly bouncing a good few times on her stiletto heels.


    ¡°Our darling¡¯s too amazing.¡± Lin Rong smooched both of Yue Zhishi¡¯s cheeks. He was already used to it, and so he didn¡¯t expect to be teased by the people around him.


    ¡°And our Xiao Yu, such a handsome boy, who gave birth to such a good-looking son¡­¡±


    Sensing danger, Song Yu turned sideways and dodged his mother¡¯s kiss attack, circling to the right of Yue Zhishi. He said to Lin Rong, ¡°Ms Lin, calm down.¡±


    As Yue Zhishi laughed at them, Song Jin arrived behind him and kept giving him praises. ¡°The concept for your third round was really quite good. Even though people of our generation would feel the impact of it more than people your age, it could be considered as a breakthrough in perception to a certain extent.¡±


    Nan Jia joked with Song Jin, ¡°Uncle, are you referring to the transgender model when you say you felt a large impact?¡±


    ¡°Ah, so that¡¯s the correct term.¡± Song Jin nodded. ¡°Not bad, not bad, I¡¯ve learned a bit more about the world today.¡±


    Lin Rong thought today was a day that must be celebrated, so she invited the entire team and all the friends who¡¯d come to watch the show to dinner. The large private room was filled to the brim with people, and everyone chatted with great delight.


    After dinner, Lin Rong and Song Jin prepared to go home ¡ª they told the two of them to come home next week before they left, saying they needed to celebrate gege¡¯s birthday together. The large group of people sent off that pair of adorable parents, and then headed back to campus.


    Everyone continued to make a fuss on the way back, swiping through their Moments and Qzones to watch the videos many people uploaded of the clothing design competition.


    ¡°I think senior Song Yu might have more and more people chasing after him in the future.¡± Chen Pi clicked his tongue a few times and then asked Song Yu in curiosity, ¡°Senior, what¡¯s your type?¡±


    Yue Zhishi had initially been incredibly sleepy, but his drowsiness disappeared as soon as he heard Chen Pi¡¯s question ¡ª but he was next to Jiang Yufan, and so he didn¡¯t turn around to look at gege.


    Qin Yan had lots to say. ¡°Oh him ¡ª he doesn¡¯t consider anyone worth a second look. He¡¯s going to stay single for his entire life.¡±


    Nan Jia laughed and said, joking, ¡°That¡¯s not necessarily true, Song Yu might be the kind of tragic guy who¡¯s head over heels in love with someone he can¡¯t get for many, many years.¡±


    Everyone cracked up; only Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t dare laugh. Song Yu was someone who very much held grudges, and if he laughed now, who knew when Song Yu might randomly decide to retaliate.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t answer, an attempt at a smile on his face. Everyone thought his lowering of eyes meant he didn¡¯t want to answer, but actually, he¡¯d been gazing at the shadow of Yue Zhishi on the ground the entire time.


    Once they¡¯d walked all the girls back to their dorms, Qin Yan could tell Song Yu wasn¡¯t planning on going back to his dorm. ¡°S.Yu, are you going to your apartment?¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡±


    ¡°Then Le Le, what about you?¡± Qin Yan wrapped an arm around Le Le¡¯s shoulders. ¡°Why don¡¯t you spend some time at your Qin Yan gege¡¯s place. I have lots of games, want to play together?¡±


    Song Yu flung Qin Yan¡¯s hand away and said to Yue Zhishi without any expression on his face, ¡°His apartment¡¯s not nice, it doesn¡¯t have ceiling to floor windows.¡±


    ¡°Hey! What¡¯s up with you?¡±


    Song Yu looked back at Qin Yan. There was no inflection in his voice as he asked, ¡°Where would he sleep if he went to your place? In between you and your girlfriend?¡±


    Qin Yan was lost for words, and he agitatedly pointed at Song Yu for a good long while before he turned to Yue Zhishi, deflated. ¡°Uh, Le Le, how about next time. We two brothers will have a fun night in the next time my wife¡¯s out.¡±


    ¡°Who are you brothers with?¡± Song Yu icily scoffed.


    ¡°You and I are brothers, you two are brothers ¡ª therefore, Le Le and I are also brothers. What kind of university tyrant are you if you can¡¯t even understand a simple calculation like that.¡± Qin Yan threw down his words. He then saw Le Le following them out of campus and asked, ¡°Are you staying over at your brother¡¯s?¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded. ¡°Mn.¡±


    ¡°Not bad. Even though your brother doesn¡¯t have a good temper, has a dead face and doesn¡¯t know what it means to be gentle and considerate¡±¡ªQin Yan took a breath¡ª¡°he still saved you guys today and cared for your brotherly relationship. Give your brother a massage once you¡¯re back, so he won¡¯t threaten you in the future with it like someone extremely petty.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was just about to retort back and say his ge was gentle and super considerate and knew very well how to take care of someone, but Song Yu responded to Qin Yan with simple and blunt three words.


    ¡°Shut up, you.¡±


    They weren¡¯t in the same building, so the three of them separated after entering the neighbourhood.


    Now that there were only Song Yu and Yue Zhishi left, everything suddenly turned peaceful, no other noise except their offbeat footsteps. Evergreen trees were planted everywhere in this city, and so there was no such thing as the withering of autumn and winter. In the darkness, underneath the shadows of the lush trees, Yue Zhishi shifted closer to Song Yu and reached out to hold his hand, but Song Yu moved his hand away.


    Song Yu placed his hands behind his back, his eyes turned towards him. Yue Zhishi thought this was a kind of provocation, so he went this way and went that way, circling around Song Yu without success all the way until they entered the elevator.


    ¡°I haven¡¯t held your hand all night.¡±


    That sentence truly sounded pitiful. After opening the door to their apartment once they left the elevator, Song Yu held out his hand ¡ª only to have Yue Zhishi smack it, the noise very loud.


    Seeing Song Yu¡¯s eyes slightly widen from astonishment, Yue Zhishi gave him a sly smile.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, you¡¯re going to regret that.¡±


    Before he could react, everything around him spun; Song Yu directly plucked him up, his lower belly pressing against Song Yu¡¯s shoulder. Yue Zhishi flopped around like a sad little fish, but none of his movements were of any use at all.


    His head started to feel a bit woozy from the blood rushing downwards, and his face started to redden. He kept calling out Song Yu¡¯s name, begging him to put him down, and all he saw were the wooden steps as Song Yu climbed up them one by one, as well as the motion sensor lights, now lit up, on the edge of each step. He and Song Yu had knelt on the steps and installed each of them together.


    The door to their room was pushed open, and the light was also turned on, the carpet on the floor pure white. He was thrown onto the soft bed, and Song Yu pressed down on him like a shower of heavy rain predicted long ago. Closing his eyes, Yue Zhishi thought of the final words Song Yu had said, as well as the kind of punishments that were very likely to happen.


    But things didn¡¯t happen according to his imagination.


    There was a light tug on the hair at the top of his head. Yue Zhishi squinted open his eyes uncertainly, and then realised Song Yu had gently taken away a golden oriental plane leaf from his hair. He held onto that leaf, spinning it around in front of the dimly yellow bedside lamp, before finally placing it down on the white nightstand.


    With this unexpected movement, it was as though the intense rhythm of before had been thrown into disarray by Song Yu¡¯s subconscious tenderness. Both of them were slightly stunned when their eyes met.


    Song Yu wasn¡¯t romantic at all, always realistic and orderly in everything he did. In everyone¡¯s eyes, he was someone not affected with strong emotions, but only Yue Zhishi knew ¡ª all of Song Yu¡¯s frenzied and tender feelings of love had solidified into a ray aimed clearly in one direction, the tip of that arrow pointing towards Yue Zhishi himself.


    No one else could see this kind of Song Yu.


    Yue Zhishi raised his slender neck, lifting his head to briefly give Song Yu a kiss, and then he smiled, wrapping his hands around his neck. ¡°Song Yu, you really have a vindictive heart. I just smacked you once, it¡¯s not like it hurt.¡±


    He held out a hand. ¡°Here, you can hit me.¡±


    Song Yu gave his hand a glance. And then, contrary to Yue Zhishi¡¯s expectations, he lowered his head and kissed the palm Yue Zhishi had willingly opened.


    But it was just for one moment ¡ª the look on his face quickly changed.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to hit your hand anymore.¡±


    He pressed Yue Zhishi¡¯s wrist onto the bed, his other hand moving downwards and opening buttons.


    ¡°I want to hit somewhere else.¡±


    Struggling, Yue Zhishi wriggled around a few times. He didn¡¯t use Song Yu¡¯s name anymore, calling him gege with a whine in his voice. ¡°But I won an award today. You haven¡¯t even rewarded me yet, you only know how to punish me.¡±


    The cold air of the autumn night flowed through the unclosed window and very quickly attached itself to skin ¡ª but even faster, Song Yu¡¯s dry and broad palm surrounded him, the heat of it opening those fine pores.


    And his legs.


    ¡°There¡¯s not much of a difference,¡± Song Yu said, arching an eyebrow. ¡°You can take it as a reward.¡±

 CH 86

    Chapter 86: Equal Punishment and Reward


    ¡ª¡ª


    (I originally wanted to fade to black, but you guys directly opened the car doors. Seeing how leisurely you guys lined up in the comments section to get in the car, I honestly didn¡¯t want to play with (?) you guys, so I wrote the first spanking I¡¯ve ever written in my life (ah, a few cuties reminded me, I remember now ¡ª Xiao Pei was also spanked, but it was just twice (?))¡­ and then the more I wrote, the longer it got¡­ Song Yu, you¡¯re too much.


    Even though this is an unplanned car, it¡¯s unexpectedly better than the ones I¡¯ve written before (I¡¯m just praising myself), I feel like there¡¯s a bit more to Xiao Yu¡¯s character now)


    [Spanking warning, blindfold warning]


    ¡ª¡ª


    Before Yue Zhishi could understand the meaning behind Song Yu¡¯s words, he was already flipped over.


    A pair of pale, bare legs were exposed in the cold air.


    He didn¡¯t resist. Since they¡¯ve returned back to campus, other than the brief intimacy in the grove of trees last time, they¡¯ve rarely even hugged. Yue Zhishi had been stuck in between the two mountains of the competition and the mock trial, and during the most tiring few days, he¡¯d only slept for four hours each night. His chaotic and erratic dreams had all been of Song Yu.


    Sometimes in his sleep, he would return back to the times when Song Yu had dodged away from him, thinking Yue Zhishi understood nothing, but in those dreams, Song Yu saw through Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart earlier. He would embrace him before Yue Zhishi cried and let him rise up on his toes; they¡¯d kiss long enough to fill an entire dream, like the kind of happy ending a beautiful love story should have.


    Yue Zhishi truly yearned for Song Yu¡¯s intimacy, and he firmly believed he wanted it more than Song Yu did ¡ª and so he would never reject it. But the shame he felt still made him slightly struggle, only for things to be taken one step further.


    Song Yu took out the eye mask he used to wear when he slept alone and covered up Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes.


    ¡°You¡¯re not allowed to take it off, or else I won¡¯t hold you or kiss you.¡±


    That was an extremely effective deterrent, towards Yue Zhishi. He utterly craved Song Yu¡¯s embraces and kisses, as though they were necessities required for his survival. And so Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t dare move, only plaintively calling out gege and softly asking him, ¡°Are you really going to hit me? Where are you going to hit?¡±


    He was surrounded by darkness. He didn¡¯t receive Song Yu¡¯s answer before being pulled; he seemed to be dragged into Song Yu¡¯s arms, and he felt both grateful and secure ¡ª his lower belly pressed against Song Yu¡¯s thighs, and he could touch Song Yu¡¯s back.


    An image appeared in Yue Zhishi¡¯s mind: at this moment, Song Yu should be sitting on the edge of the bed, while he himself was most likely like a meek little dog lying on his owner¡¯s legs, lying in his arms and waiting for his owner to stroke down his downy back.


    But that wasn¡¯t what happened.


    What he received was a neither light nor heavy smack from Song Yu, the hit landing on his ass.


    Caught off-guard, Yue Zhishi cried out; he was somewhat stunned from the impact. When the second slap landed once again on his ass, he was both embarrassed and shocked, and he called out Song Yu¡¯s name, pleading at him to not hit his butt.


    ¡°You said I could hit you back. Isn¡¯t it the same anywhere?¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s voice always sounded cold, sounding as though it couldn¡¯t be defied.


    ¡°Gege¡­¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s head was buried into the soft blanket, and he could hear the loud sounds of Song Yu¡¯s palm landing on his soft flesh. He¡¯d never been treated like this before, even during childhood ¡ª Yue Zhishi, always so obedient, was ¡®disciplined¡¯ using this method for the first time in his life.


    His upper body was still completely dressed, his woollen sweater confining his elevated body temperature. Yue Zhishi was burning, was sweating, but his lower body wore only a thin piece of cotton underwear and nothing else. He wasn¡¯t willing to merely lie there, and so he bashfully wriggled on Song Yu¡¯s legs. The insecurity he felt from the darkness made his desire feel hollow and unsatisfied. Song Yu wasn¡¯t actually hitting him all that hard, but there wasn¡¯t a steady pace to them; he didn¡¯t know when the next smack would fall.


    So every time he received a slap, under the crisp sounds of a hand meeting flesh, Yue Zhishi would cry out with his legs trembling, anxious and fearful.


    ¡°You¡¯re not allowed to cry out.¡±


    Yue Zhishi heard Song Yu¡¯s stern command and could feel his palm rubbing against his supple cheeks. His voice sounded closer ¡ª Yue Zhishi thought Song Yu might¡¯ve bent over and leaned over to his ear. In the vast expanse of darkness, a damp, hot breath puffed against the side of his face.


    ¡°If I hear anything, I¡¯m going to smack you harder.¡±


    Yue Zhishi let out a muffled noise very quietly. Sensing Song Yu very close by, he turned his head, wanting to kiss him, but Song Yu caught his chin.


    ¡°Baobao.¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice was very low, and was both cold and alluring. ¡°You¡¯re really not being a good boy.¡±


    Another smack landed on his ass once again, just as Yue Zhishi was completely unprepared.


    ¡°Mm¡­¡± Song Yu let go of his chin, but Yue Zhishi¡¯s arms were pulled back to cross behind his back, Song Yu holding down his wrists.


    Without conscious thought, Yue Zhishi started to plea for mercy; he was soft and pale, like a water snake too slippery to hold. ¡°Gege, don¡¯t hit me anymore, I¡¯m a good boy.¡±


    ¡°Are you?¡± Song Yu¡¯s hand brushed across Yue Zhishi¡¯s raised shoulder-blades and moved downwards, slowly gliding over his ribs. People always said flesh caused lust, but he felt even Yue Zhishi¡¯s bones were seductive.


    ¡°I make sure you eat well every day. But where¡¯s all your flesh gone?¡±


    He was doing the most carnal movements, yet his words were like a parent¡¯s questioning. Yue Zhishi¡¯s shame increased, unable to say anything resembling a complete sentence. ¡°I¡­¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s hand lightly patted Yue Zhishi¡¯s reddening asscheeks, and they jiggled and swayed like soft pudding.


    ¡°Your flesh ended up all here.¡± His hand grabbed tightly onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s ass and fiercely squeezed it, kneading it until Yue Zhishi made a noise from the pleasure.


    ¡°Did you do that on purpose? Hm?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Yue Zhishi found the room too warm, and he felt wronged; Song Yu¡¯s words made no sense at all. ¡°I¡­ I¡­ Why would everything go there?¡±


    He felt Song Yu pull on his small and thin underwear and tug it to the left and to the right, using it to lightly rub against the thin seam between his two plump cheeks. Sensation was incredibly magnified in the dark, and he could almost feel the cotton material wrapped around his cock ¡ª it was slowly dampening, coldly and stickily attaching itself to his skin.


    Yet another slap came down. Yue Zhishi¡¯s entire body was trembling, everything shivering; the pleasure forced out from the cracks in his bones pushed away those tiny shreds of pain.


    ¡°So it¡¯d be great to fuck,¡± Song Yu said, using a deep voice to say obscene words.


    This body was outrageous and erotic ¡ª it had only been spanked, and yet fluid was already seeping out of his cock. With his hands held behind his back, Yue Zhishi squirmed impatiently on Song Yu¡¯s legs; he looked like he was struggling, but the nipples on his chest had hardened long ago from rubbing against Song Yu¡¯s legs, separated by the sweater.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, you¡¯re wet.¡± Song Yu mercilessly lay bare his arousal. ¡°And hard.¡±


    Yue Zhishi felt like Song Yu was having sex with him just by speaking; he could reach his peak just by listening to Song Yu¡¯s voice. His body had softened, had weakened from the spanking until he was an utter mess, and unable to hold back, he begged Song Yu and said he really liked him ¡ª all different kinds of sweet honeyed words were gasped from that pink mouth. Even that faintly visible tip of his tongue was seducing him.


    ¡°You like being spanked that much?¡±


    ¡°Mm¡­¡± Yue Zhishi curved his head over to reach Song Yu¡¯s body, biting Song Yu¡¯s shirt like a puppy begging for love.


    ¡°Take it off yourself,¡± Song Yu commanded, releasing Yue Zhishi¡¯s wrists.


    Yue Zhishi hazily grabbed at the bottom of his sweater, only for Song Yu to smack him again; his whole body quivered.


    ¡°Underwear,¡± Song Yu said.


    Yue Zhishi climbed off of Song Yu¡¯s body a bit clumsily, very obediently leaving the eye mask alone. He knelt on the bed while remaining in the dark, and his hands dragged his underwear down his legs. His exposed cock and asscheeks were pink, both the colour and the fluid coming from within his body, and the imprints of Song Yu¡¯s hand were vaguely visible. He wanted to shift a bit closer to Song Yu, but he couldn¡¯t tell he was on the edge of the bed and almost lost his balance. Before he toppled over, Song Yu quickly hauled him in, pulling him onto his body.


    ¡°What a good baobao.¡± Song Yu rewarded him with a kiss, a very clean one pecked onto his cheek, but Yue Zhishi found that far from enough. Since he couldn¡¯t see anything, he couldn¡¯t fit their lips together even though he wanted to, and so he groped around, hand fumbling everywhere until he found Song Yu¡¯s stiffened lower body.


    Yue Zhishi thought ¡ª perhaps if Song Yu wanted it as much as he did, then maybe he wouldn¡¯t keep torturing him.


    And so Yue Zhishi bent down, body perpendicular to Song Yu. Under no one¡¯s instructions, he arched his back and raised up his ass, his posture quite similar to earlier when he¡¯d been spanked ¡ª but this time, he wasn¡¯t lying on Song Yu¡¯s legs and waiting for either a punishment or a reward; this time, his head was buried in between Song Yu¡¯s legs. Fumbling, he pulled down Song Yu¡¯s zipper, pulled out his cock and swallowed it into his mouth.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡± Song Yu grabbed hold of his slightly long hair, not allowing Yue Zhishi to move.


    Yue Zhishi used that extremely pure face to say the most seductive words. ¡°Gege, I want to suck you off.¡±


    He wasn¡¯t too skilled, but he worked hard, lowering his head until Song Yu¡¯s cock was very deep inside. He used the soft flesh inside his mouth and the tip of his tongue to surround him, to tangle with him, and he used his fragile and delicate throat to squeeze and give pleasure. With his innocent yet devoted attitude, he couldn¡¯t tell exactly who was fucking whom. Song Yu quietly panted twice, and then his hand lewdly fondled Yue Zhishi¡¯s upraised ass ¡ª Yue Zhishi felt even more encouraged, and he sucked in Song Yu¡¯s cock until it couldn¡¯t go in anymore. Whimpers and moans fell from his mouth, and he mumbled words like gege¡¯s so big, gege¡¯s getting even bigger now.


    Yue Zhishi was beautiful and clean, and he treated everyone as though he was an angel. But no one knew how unsatisfied he was no matter how many kisses he was given; no one knew how touch starved he was, insisting on being held while he was getting fucked; no one had seen the look on his reddened face as he asked Song Yu why he didn¡¯t push in.


    All of those different parts of Yue Zhishi, hidden away ¡ª only Song Yu had the key to them.


    Suddenly, Yue Zhishi felt something cold and sticky dribble onto his flushed cheeks. Soon after, he felt it trickle onto his entrance. He made a noise, but Song Yu whacked his ass, a finger pushing inside. ¡°Swallow me a bit deeper.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s pessimism would always make him think of the past and the future whenever they were doing the most intimate things. He would remember many, many times when he¡¯d wanted to kiss Yue Zhishi yet hadn¡¯t been able to; he¡¯d wonder just how adorable, how bewitching the innocent Yue Zhishi would become after falling in love with some girl some day.


    Perhaps he¡¯d also get hurt and would come back, looking for him and crying. But in that moment, he would most likely be begging for a clean, consoling hug, and not a filthy and primitive sexual embrace.


    Fortunately, those thoughts were stored away in figments of his imagination during all those sleepless nights. Pandora¡¯s box hadn¡¯t been opened, but rather, had been taken away by Yue Zhishi.


    It was only to Song Yu who Yue Zhishi would say the word ¡®love¡¯. It was only because of him that Yue Zhishi would feel pain, feel suffering ¡ª it was only for him that Yue Zhishi would think of death, again and again.


    ¡°Mm¡­.¡±


    The lube and Song Yu¡¯s finger were opening up his body, but Yue Zhishi could feel his passage growing slicker; his entire person was wet and sticky, fighting to suck in Song Yu¡¯s finger. In one end, he was getting fucked by Song Yu¡¯s finger, and in the other end, Song Yu was holding down the back of his head and fucking his throat with his cock. Both his top and bottom were releasing embarrassing slurping and pumping noises.


    ¡°Ge¡­¡± He pulled his mouth away the tiniest bit. ¡°It¡¯s too big, I can¡¯t fit it in¡­¡±


    Two of Song Yu¡¯s fingers were thrusting against his prostate, and his narrow waist was shaking from the pleasure. His cock was dangling on top of Song Yu¡¯s legs, the tip of it grinding against and staining his pants. Yue Zhishi¡¯s imploring moans were all pushed into his throat by Song Yu, unable to come out, and he sounded particularly pitiful. Song Yu was swallowed deeply and tightly by Yue Zhishi¡¯s slender throat, and his eyebrows drew together, his fingers roughly thrusting and pressing against that sensitive spot ¡ª he used his hand to fuck Yue Zhishi into coming.


    As he climaxed, Yue Zhishi wanted to call out. His throat tightened even further, and it made Song Yu come as well; Yue Zhishi choked on the thick cum, face reddening, and so he pulled away. A long, long string of translucent fluid was connected to his stretched out tongue, and Yue Zhishi subconsciously swallowed it first before he tumbled onto Song Yu¡¯s legs, coughing. Even after coming, Song Yu¡¯s cock was still very large, and it rested on the side of Yue Zhishi¡¯s face. The sticky fluid from the front was still on Yue Zhishi¡¯s mouth, and he looked disorientated, very much not clean and very unkempt.


    Song Yu stroked down his back tenderly, apologising while Yue Zhishi coughed; it was as though the soul within that handsome skin had been changed from a demon to an angel. He picked up Yue Zhishi, embraced him and gave him a gentle kiss. Their tongues exchanged fluids and saliva, and the gentle kiss turned violent, their tongues writhing with each other until they started to hurt ¡ª they kissed until Yue Zhishi pleaded for him to once again come in.


    ¡°Gege, I want it, hurry¡­¡± With his blindfold, Yue Zhishi went ahead and begged Song Yu, his lips red, swollen and glistening. They looked like they¡¯d been completely ravaged.


    Song Yu wouldn¡¯t let Yue Zhishi hold him; he had Yue Zhishi on his hands and knees, and he gradually pushed his way in from the back, bit by bit. It was as though Yue Zhishi had been born knowing how to do these things ¡ª if Song Yu hadn¡¯t grown up together with him, he might¡¯ve thought Yue Zhishi was a battle-seasoned veteran, knowing to arch his back and lift up his ass as soon as he slid inside. Yue Zhishi displayed his beautiful spine and the dimples at the top of his butt for Song Yu to see, and he called out so enticingly. ¡°Gege, it¡¯s so big¡­ it¡¯s too big, I can¡¯t take it¡­¡±


    The snaps of his hips became more and more ruthless, and he raised a hand to smack Yue Zhishi¡¯s red and swollen cheeks. ¡°And yet you¡¯re squeezing me so tightly.¡±


    ¡°I like you, Song Yu¡­ Song Yu, I really like you.¡±


    As long as Yue Zhishi expressed his love, Song Yu knew: Yue Zhishi was Yue Zhishi, the one who¡¯d loved only him, who¡¯d looked only at him since they were children. In his dreams, he had sorrowfully kissed Yue Zhishi over one hundred times, holding him in his arms and joining with him like this ¡ª he¡¯d possessed Yue Zhishi like so, and had used those dreams to console himself.


    But this moment was real.


    ¡°I can¡¯t¡­ Too fast¡­¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s face was hidden in the blanket, his whimpers coming across like cries; the slaps of flesh meeting flesh came again and again, and he couldn¡¯t tell anymore if Song Yu was hitting him, or fucking him.


    ¡°Then I¡¯ll slow down.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s thrusts came slower, the curved front of his cock grinding again and again at Yue Zhishi¡¯s spot. He watched as Yue Zhishi shuddered, as he moved his hips backwards to follow the retreat of his cock ¡ª of his own volition, Yue Zhishi used his back opening to search for that shaft, saying, ¡°I can¡¯t stand it, hurry¡­¡±


    Song Yu once again couldn¡¯t help but clamp down on his hips. ¡°Yue Zhishi, you¡¯re so hard to please.¡±


    Yue Zhishi fell into a sticky and clinging whirlpool, only able to feel Song Yu¡¯s fierce thrusts and his own body¡¯s rising pleasure in the boundless darkness. His passage and lower belly were both sore and numb, and his sweater was already fully drenched from sweat. He couldn¡¯t stop shaking, and his pleas for Song Yu to go faster turned to pleas for Song Yu to have mercy on him until his words no longer came clearly; he gasped for air with his mind fogged and blurry, and he himself didn¡¯t know what he was saying.


    ¡°Going¡­ Mm¡­ Gege, Xiao Yu gege¡­ I, I¡­ going to die¡­.¡±


    Song Yu pressed down on his body, pounding into him faster and faster as he fucked into that spot. ¡°Yue Zhishi, did you think you were going to die like this when you wrote your will? Hm?¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s mouth opened and closed, only able to breathe ¡ª there was almost no difference between that mouth and his lower one. An instinctive fear grew in his body from being fucked so hard, and as though seeking survival, he propped up his arms and started to crawl forward in the dark, wanting to drag himself away. But Song Yu cruelly caught hold of his ankles, his waist and hauled him back, firmly and securely nailing himself into Yue Zhishi¡¯s body. He shoved himself in recklessly and without restraint, as though he wanted to plunge into the deepest part of him and become one with Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°Why are you running? Are you afraid of me?¡± Song Yu was licking and kissing his nape, and then he gripped Yue Zhishi¡¯s chin as if to please him, turning his face around to tenderly kiss him. ¡°Why are you afraid? I love you so much.¡±


    The more tender his kiss, the fiercer he fucked.


    In this joining with such extreme contrasting feelings, the tidal waves of pleasure surged and flooded over, drowning Yue Zhishi within them; he was surrounded and wrapped up in streaming rivers of sweat, and Song Yu had fucked him into not having enough air and hyperventilating. He¡¯d turned into a pair of bellows damaged from water, being pushed and pulled at someone else¡¯s discretion.


    Song Yu, having not received a reply, kissed his ear. He drove into him as he asked, ¡°Yue Zhishi, do you love gege?¡±


    He¡¯d originally thought Yue Zhishi had already lost his ability to speak, but after being asked that question, he was like the final shining rays of the setting sun, nodding his head in the midst of his pants for air. He rasped, ¡°Love, love gege¡­¡±


    Song Yu kissed his eyes through the mask, and he realised the eye mask was already soaked through; he pulled it off. The sudden light caused Yue Zhishi to frown, and he squinted those eyes completely red from crying. His eyes were unfocused from the pleasure, and yet he was still saying he loved Song Yu.


    He loved Song Yu ¡ª Yue Zhishi could truly keep saying that until he died.


    ¡°Baobao, you¡¯re being so good.¡± Song Yu gently yet ferociously hugged Yue Zhishi from the back as he fucked him, and Yue Zhishi came with painful thin spurts, his pink knuckles and long fingers clenching the blanket. Wildly moaning, he obviously had already came, yet his breathing was still rushed and hurried ¡ª he was saying, mind blank and unaware, ¡°Please¡­ No more, ge¡­.¡±


    Having already came once in his mouth, Song Yu wouldn¡¯t come so easily a second time. He ran his hands over Yue Zhishi¡¯s soft and flat belly and rocked in, hard and fast, thrusting until Yue Zhishi grew needy again. Yue Zhishi¡¯s entire body exuded an obscene scent, and he convulsed against Song Yu¡¯s chest, crying and calling out that he couldn¡¯t anymore, he was coming again ¡ª and yet he didn¡¯t shoot anything out. Finally, Song Yu couldn¡¯t bear it anymore; he panted and gasped on top of Yue Zhishi¡¯s body like a wild beast dressed in human clothes.


    Yue Zhishi, with his blurred consciousness, sensed that Song Yu was about to come, and so he touched Song Yu¡¯s arms, sobbing anxiously, and begged him with his hoarse voice, ¡°Come inside, gege, I want you inside¡­¡±


    Song Yu had no resistance to his pleas. He roughly fucked into him a good few more times, his engorged cock strangled in that hot and damp passage, until all of that thick and sticky fluid shot into Yue Zhishi¡¯s body.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s entire body collapsed, and other than his mouth opened to urgently wheeze for air, there was no inch of his bare skin that wasn¡¯t saturated with the pink of carnal desire. He sensed Song Yu wrapping his arms around his slick self, petting and stroking him, sharing with him the most tender kiss; Song Yu called out his name, as though he was confirming he was truly there and wasn¡¯t just a dream.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi.¡±


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t open his eyes. ¡°¡­ge.¡± He didn¡¯t even have the strength to say repetitive words, feeling fragile enough to shatter at the slightest touch.


    ¡°I love you.¡± Song Yu clutched him tightly. ¡°Do you know that?¡±


    Curled into his arms, Yue Zhishi nodded.


    ¡°Good boy.¡± Song Yu didn¡¯t need a response from him, touching his eyelids and forehead with very careful, cherishing lips.


    But even though Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t speak, he used his hand that was left on Song Yu¡¯s back and sluggishly yet very stubbornly traced an unsteady love heart. He then kissed Song Yu¡¯s chin, doing his best to give him a reply.


    Exhausted and deeply deprived of sleep, Yue Zhishi thoroughly fell asleep like the dead.


    Song Yu carried him to clean up, to bathe; he carried him back out after he changed the bedsheets and linen, spreading some soothing cream over him, and gently pulled Yue Zhishi¡¯s pyjamas over him like he was a small baby before kissing his red cheeks.


    Song Yu very much found pleasure in this process ¡ª it felt like a kind of decompression, as though he was playing a mission-based game and would feel extremely fulfilled after completing all his tasks.


    When asleep, Yue Zhishi would have the slightest bit more temper compared to normal, but this temper was a bit better than when he was sick. For most of the time, he was the same as when he was awake, allowing Song Yu to fiddle with him all he wanted, but if he was moved about too much, he would frown, would unconsciously pout his lips and unhappily grumble a few times.


    This kind of Yue Zhishi was cute and fun to tease, and Song Yu was still reluctant to sleep even by the middle of the night. He played around with Yue Zhishi without making a single noise until he sensed Yue Zhishi had become truly annoyed and was about to wake up ¡ª he only then wrapped Yue Zhishi in his arms, saying okay okay okay, and stroked up and down his back, soothing him back to sleep.


    Yue Zhishi slept for too long, this time around. He woke up sometime in the middle; his eyes were super swollen, and it took a lot of effort for him to open his eyes. It looked like Song Yu was holding him as he watched a movie on mute using the projector.


    He wanted to get Song Yu to give him a kiss, but he was too tired ¡ª he closed his eyes.


    But without being prompted or being asked, Song Yu still kissed his face, and so Yue Zhishi fell back asleep, perfectly content.


    When he truly woke up, it was because he was hungry and thirsty. Unable to open his eyes, he groped around, and this time, he didn¡¯t end up touching an empty blanket; Song Yu directly reached out and clasped his hand.


    ¡°Slept enough?¡±


    Song Yu was sitting up in bed and writing an essay. Yue Zhishi shifted over to his lap, wanting to find a comfortable position.


    ¡°You¡¯re still wriggling. Do you want to get out of bed or not?¡±


    Yue Zhishi suddenly remembered something, and he weakly pulled away his head, fully embarrassed, and placed it back onto his pillow. He even stretched out a hand and adjusted the laptop he¡¯d knocked askew.


    Song Yu lightly chuckled, his palm drifting over to cover Yue Zhishi¡¯s face. ¡°You¡¯re finally frightened. Looks like you¡¯re truly awake now.¡±


    He pulled Yue Zhishi up and told him it was already three in the afternoon. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want to listen, closing his eyes and opening his mouth to say he didn¡¯t want to get up, but as soon as he tried to speak, he scared himself into coughing.


    ¡°Have some water.¡± Song Yu placed a cup next to his mouth.


    Yue Zhishi gulped down the water and then stared blankly into space while holding the empty cup.


    His stomach growled, startling Yue Zhishi from his daze; he leaned his head onto Song Yu¡¯s collarbones and took his hand, pulling it over to touch his stomach that was empty and deflated from hunger. Instead of using words, he used his actions to say what he wanted.


    Following his expectations, Song Yu gently caressed his stomach ¡ª and then, what came out of his mouth was, ¡°Mn, I felt it.¡±


    Yue Zhishi frowned in doubt and then raised his eyebrows, lifting his head to look at Song Yu. His eyes asked, what did you feel?


    ¡°Our baby.¡± Song Yu used a completely serious face to say utter nonsense. ¡°Kicking your stomach.¡±


    Yue Zhishi widened his eyes, revealing an expression of disbelief. He was stunned for three seconds before he reached out both hands and caught Song Yu¡¯s shoulders, trying to shake him awake.


    Song Yu was as indifferent and emotionless as a robot. ¡°I¡¯ve read that you need to rest quietly during the early stages of pregnancy. Yue Zhishi, calm down.¡±


    Thinking he was too funny and too frustrating, Yue Zhishi breathed out, ¡°You calm down.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m about to become a dad. I can¡¯t calm down,¡± Song Yu said, face completely dead.


    Yue Zhishi fell backwards onto the bed ¡ª there was no saving him.


    But even though Song Yu really seemed like his head had been drowned in water, he still brought up for Yue Zhishi a tray of delicious food and placed it on the bed. There was a golden chicken soup with gingko nuts and egg dumplings, steamed pork ribs crusted with rice flour that were so fragrant and soft they almost melted in his mouth, stir-fried green beans with mince and some fluffy, scrambled eggs with whitebait fish.


    Yue Zhishi felt like he really had done well for himself ¡ª he was actually allowed to eat on Song Yu¡¯s bed now.


    Worried Yue Zhishi wouldn¡¯t be able to swallow it down, Song Yu soaked the rice in the chicken soup until the grains were soft before he handed it over to him.


    Swallowing truly required a lot of effort. His throat felt like it¡¯d been scraped raw from sandpaper, and Yue Zhishi thought, maybe next time he shouldn¡¯t try doing something so scary.


    Unless Song Yu begged him.


    His waist was sore and weak, and he slouched over after eating for a while. Song Yu had only eaten half of his food when his phone rang, the screen showing Professor Zhang.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to take a call.¡± He left the room with the phone and also closed the door. Having always been very sensitive to Song Yu¡¯s emotions, Yue Zhishi felt like Song Yu¡¯s mood seemed to abruptly turn for the worse after seeing who called, so he couldn¡¯t quite keep eating anymore. He very slowly took a few sips of the soup and waited until Song Yu returned back to him. Song Yu sat on the edge of the bed, across from him, and Yue Zhishi reached out a leg to poke at him.


    ¡°Don¡¯t move, the tray¡¯s going to flip,¡± Song Yu said warmly, catching hold of his toes.


    Yue Zhishi obediently stopped moving around. Once Song Yu opened his hand, Yue Zhishi stretched out his leg and stuffed his toes into the gap between Song Yu¡¯s knees and the blanket; it felt very secure.


    ¡°Do you still want cake?¡± Song Yu had finished eating, and he lifted his eyes to look at him. ¡°I baked a cheesecake when you were sleeping.¡±


    Yue Zhishi frantically nodded. He finished his bowl of soup and prepared to welcome in his cake.


    His butt hurting, Yue Zhishi pretty much laid uncomfortably on his stomach the entire day. He watched an episode of an anime, and then he sent Song Yu a message, saying he wanted to go back to his dorm to grab his homework so he could go directly to class on Monday from the apartment. Song Yu was next to him, organising some data, and his glasses made him look particularly refined. He turned his face over to Yue Zhishi and said, face serious and proper ¡ª


    ¡°Don¡¯t go to class anymore. Just take a break from school and take care of your stomach.¡±


    For the first time in his life, Yue Zhishi grabbed a pillow and smashed Song Yu with it ¡ª he even felt very good while doing it.


    They bumped into Jiang Yufan in front of the dormitory building. He was preparing to head out for dinner, and he recognised Song Yu first before he noticed Yue Zhishi, who was waving at him.


    ¡°Oh, Le Le.¡± Jiang Yufan¡¯s hands were in his pockets. ¡°I even thought you were someone else when I saw you from far away. Why are you walking so strangely?¡±


    With a reddened face, Yue Zhishi pressed his lips together and didn¡¯t speak.


    ¡°You¡¯re not sick, are you?¡± Jiang Yufan looked at him and then looked at Song Yu. ¡°Senior, why isn¡¯t he talking?¡±


    ¡°He exercised too hard, so now his waist¡¯s sore and legs are aching. And his throat¡¯s inflamed¡­¡±


    Desperately wanting to stop Song Yu from talking, Yue Zhishi kicked at him in a panic, and then for the rest of way, he kept sending [Sorry] messages to Song Yu.


    Once Jiang Yufan left, Song Yu squeezed his face with one hand, Yue Zhishi¡¯s mouth puckering up.


    ¡°Are you deliberately looking to be punished? Did you enjoy it that much?¡±


    Yue Zhishi blinked at him and then lowered his head, sending him another message.


    [Le Le: No to the first bit, but yes to the second.]


    Song Yu truly couldn¡¯t handle him.


    Yue Zhishi essentially lived at Song Yu¡¯s apartment for the entire next week. His excuse of being sick was very useful, and Jiang Yufan even kept sending him messages, asking after his throat. Every time Yue Zhishi replied, he felt very embarrassed.


    Song Yu¡¯s birthday fell on a Friday, and Lin Rong called them back to Yanghe Qizhe for dinner. For once, Song Jin came back home before they did, and he hung around the restaurant¡¯s kitchen. Feeling as though there was nothing he could do in there, he went out and chatted with the few guests before finally heading to their family¡¯s private room. He had nothing to do, so he counted out twenty-two long and skinny candles for Song Yu, placing them on the table.


    Yue Zhishi came in with a caramel-coloured, flowering rose, and a few familiar guests greeted him.


    ¡°Le Le, you¡¯re back? Where¡¯s your brother?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s behind me.¡± Yue Zhishi called out for Aunt Rong, and then slid into the kitchen, popping a cherry tomato into his mouth.


    ¡°Darling, wash your hands.¡± Lin Rong poured some liquid soap onto his hands and pulled him over to the sink. ¡°Where¡¯s your brother?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s coming.¡± The tomato was too juicy, Yue Zhishi almost choking as he spoke. He coughed a few times.


    ¡°Aiyah, eat slowly, we have plenty.¡±


    Yue Zhishi ran off once he¡¯d washed his hands. He knocked into Song Yu¡¯s chest as soon as he went out, and he retreated backwards two steps before Song Yu hauled him back and wrapped his arms around his waist. Hearing some noise, Lin Rong came out of the kitchen, and when she saw the two of them hugging, she laughed and said, ¡°How old are you guys to still be hugging each other?¡±


    Yue Zhishi broke out of Song Yu¡¯s arms swiftly, feeling very guilty. ¡°I almost fell.¡±


    ¡°Be careful.¡± Lin Rong greeted Song Yu, saying, ¡°Xiao Yu, come and wash your hands. Try my new soup recipe while you¡¯re here, it¡¯s definitely delicious.¡±


    Yue Zhishi sneaked away to the family room, and with Song Jin¡¯s help, displayed his newly bought fresh flower.


    ¡°If I¡¯d known you were going to buy flowers, I would¡¯ve bought a rose too.¡± Song Jin was somewhat vexed. ¡°You should¡¯ve told me, Xiao Lin¡¯s going to yell at me later.¡±


    Having expected this, Yue Zhishi pulled out a red rose from his large schoolbag. ¡°Dong dong dong dong! Uncle, I brought this for you. Aunt Rong doesn¡¯t know about it.¡±


    Song Jin was extremely happy, and he transferred Yue Zhishi 200 RMB at once ¡ª Yue Zhishi made a tearful, happy profit of 190.


    Lin Rong was floating with happiness after receiving two flowers, and she kept bragging as they ate; Song Yu once again couldn¡¯t help but ridicule her, lifting his cup and mildly saying, ¡°Let us wish Ms Lin Rong a wonderful twenty-second birthday.¡±


    ¡°Xiao Yu, how are you always like this!¡±


    Yue Zhishi laughed so hard he fell over onto Song Jin. Song Jin slipped an arm around his shoulders and patted him like a father.


    ¡°Ah, that¡¯s right, Xiao Yu,¡± Song Jin suddenly said, ¡°your Professor Zhang looked for me today. He bought me a cup of coffee.¡±


    Yue Zhishi gazed towards Song Yu, very keenly sensing that he wasn¡¯t happy again. He sat up straight and silently gave Song Yu a piece of fish.


    ¡°Did he?¡± Song Yu looked like he didn¡¯t really care, poking at the fish with his head lowered. He didn¡¯t pick it up.


    ¡°It was very much a coincidence.¡± Song Jin chuckled. ¡°Our company¡¯s recently collaborating with your school on a project, and your supervisor just happened to be in charge. I didn¡¯t know he was your professor in the beginning. He later took me out for dinner, and we only realised we were connected after chatting for a bit.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t speak, but Lin Rong was curious. ¡°What did you guys talk about?¡±


    ¡°He talked to me about Xiao Yu¡¯s recent development, and then we later started talking about some things in our lives.¡± Song Jin looked at Song Yu. ¡°Professor Zhang said you¡¯re preparing to change the direction of your research?¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡± Song Yu nodded. ¡°I¡¯ve already decided what I want to do for my postgraduate studies a long time ago, so it can¡¯t be considered as changing ¡ª I simply told him ahead of time that I wasn¡¯t going to follow him for postgrad.¡±


    ¡°But Professor Zhang is currently working on matters related to the BeiDou System. There¡¯s a good future in it. He told me his only student is currently working in national defence, and he really needs someone.¡± Song Jin was a traditional and upright person, and he truly cared about his country¡¯s national defence matters, thinking it was an extremely good future. He really hoped Song Yu could contribute to their country with his professional knowledge.


    Song Yu once again didn¡¯t speak. Lin Rong came out to help smooth the atmosphere, saying, ¡°You should let the children choose for themselves. You allowed him to make his choices from the beginning, so why are you concerned now, all of a sudden.¡±


    Yue Zhishi glanced at Song Yu and then glanced at Song Jin. He too wanted to change the conversation, so he said, ¡°Uncle, what kind of life stuff did you guys talk about?¡±


    Song Jin let out an ¡®oh¡¯, taking a sip of tea. ¡°Actually, it wasn¡¯t anything serious. We were just chatting, and we started talking about our children. Professor Zhang mentioned to me that he has a daughter, and that she was arriving back from the United States in two days. He said he couldn¡¯t find the time to pick her up and wanted to ask Xiao Yu for help, since he didn¡¯t trust anyone else.¡±

 CH 87

    Chapter 87: Accidental Exchange of Partners


    Yue Zhishi regretted opening his mouth.


    After hearing that introduction, he knew what was coming.


    Song Jin continued saying, ¡°Professor Zhang said his daughter¡¯s studying geology in Florida, and she¡¯s now coming back to research military remote sensing. Your studies are fairly related, and plus the two of you are also similar in age ¡ª you two should have a lot of common topics to talk about. Since your professor¡¯s already asked, you may as well help him with this. You can also take Ms Zhang around Wuhan U and help her get familiar with her new environment.¡±


    Song Yu was focused on eating his food rather obstinately, and he waited until his father finished speaking before he abruptly said, ¡°I¡¯m a student, not a professional chauffeur.¡±


    ¡°Xiao Yu.¡± Lin Rong reached out and pressed a hand down on his arm. She gave him a look, and then turned her head to Song Jin, her entire heart worried about her son. ¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯s a good idea. How awkward would it be ¡ª they don¡¯t know each other, and now he suddenly has to go pick up the girl from the airport? Plus Xiao Yu doesn¡¯t like talking. What would we do if the entire trip turns out uncomfortable? Why don¡¯t have our own driver go.¡±


    ¡°His professor¡¯s already asked for Song Yu. How would it look if we pushed the job to our driver? Song Yu still needs to follow the ways of the world.¡± Song Jin put down his chopsticks. ¡°I thought this entire thing was improper too, but since his professor¡¯s already opened his mouth and asked, I couldn¡¯t really refuse him. He is our child¡¯s professor, after all. We wouldn¡¯t be giving him any face.¡±


    And then, he looked towards Song Yu again. ¡°While we¡¯re on that topic, Song Yu, you should make more friends. You come and go by yourself everyday ¡ª you may still be a student right now, but one day, you¡¯ll have to leave school and enter society. The way you are now, dad¡¯s always worrying about whether you¡¯ll be disadvantaged in the future.


    ¡°Gege has a lot of friends.¡± Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but retort for Song Yu. ¡°Everyone in the basketball team really good friends with gege, as well as the people in the debate team. The people in his research lab all really like gege too, I¡¯ve gone and met them before. They¡¯re all really nice people. My law school classmates also really adore gege. Uncle, gege¡¯s really good.¡±


    Song Jin sighed. ¡°And you, protecting your brother every day. You can¡¯t carry him like this your entire life.¡±


    Yue Zhishi silently thought, of course I can, carrying him my entire life is exactly what I want to do.


    ¡°No, everything I said is true.¡± There was an earnest look on Yue Zhishi¡¯s face. ¡°Gege really does have a lot of friends. We always need to book a large private room every time we go out to eat.¡±


    ¡°How about this.¡± Seeing how Song Yu was refusing to communicate, Lin Rong attempted a compromise. ¡°Le Le and Song Yu can go together. That way, we won¡¯t have to worry about dead silence with Le Le can be there to help ease the atmosphere. The entire matter¡¯s settled once she¡¯s picked up anyway.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not going.¡± Song Yu was adamant, and he even looked like he was ready to leave the table. Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart felt uncomfortable ¡ª it was his birthday. He didn¡¯t want Song Yu to be unhappy.


    ¡°I¡¯ll pick her up,¡± Yue Zhishi suggested. ¡°I¡¯ll say gege¡¯s sick. I should be able to take his place since I¡¯m a Wuhan U student too. I can take older sister around.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s face hadn¡¯t fluctuated much over the entire conversation, but now he immediately frowned and turned his head to stare at Yue Zhishi. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t understand what he was trying to say, simply thinking he could help Song Yu solve something troublesome. He thought what he¡¯d done was very much worth being praised, so he winked at Song Yu.


    Song Yu sighed, the sound nearly undetectable.


    ¡°I¡¯ll go together with Yue Zhishi.¡±


    ¡°But there¡¯s only going to be this one time. I won¡¯t interact further with this Ms Zhang afterwards.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t each much of his birthday cake. He sat in the courtyard filled with fallen leaves, drinking tea and staring into space. Later, Song Jin also went over with a cup of tea, and he sat next to Song Yu. There was a small maple tree in the yard, its red leaves very beautiful.


    ¡°Xiao Yu, how have you been?¡±


    ¡°Quite well. I¡¯m really happy every single day,¡± Song Yu honestly replied, gazing at those maple leaves.


    Song Jin stilled and then gently said to him, ¡°It was my fault earlier. It¡¯s your birthday today, I shouldn¡¯t have been such a killjoy.¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Song Yu looked at his father. ¡°I know you were doing it for my sake.¡±


    Song Jin smiled, the curve of his lips both mature and relaxed. ¡°Honestly, you¡¯ve known what you wanted to do since you were young. You liked making your own choices, but sometimes, you¡¯d deliberately leak some hints to me. You¡¯d let me know what you were doing, but you wouldn¡¯t say it clearly. At those times I would think: this child¡¯s so awkward, why can¡¯t he just openly discuss things with me?¡±


    ¡°But now that you¡¯re turning into more and more of an adult, I¡¯ve realised that you almost never look for me anymore.¡± Song Jin¡¯s eyes lowered, and he turned to look at that maple tree. ¡°To children themselves, being independent is definitely a good thing. But to a father, I still find myself a bit sad. I keep wondering if there¡¯s anything I can still do for you.¡±


    Song Yu completely understood his father¡¯s heart ¡ª at hearing these words, he even felt a slight sense of loss. Ever since his one-sided love had started during puberty, Song Yu had learned how to hide himself away and not let anyone see him; it had slowly, gradually become a habit, until he almost had no way of revealing his true self to other people.


    ¡°Dad, you¡¯ve already been an extremely good father. I also hope you consider me a good son.¡±


    There was a tinge of melancholy in Song Yu¡¯s voice, and Song Jin couldn¡¯t help but laugh. ¡°Of course you are. For your mother and me, in this lifetime, you are our greatest pride and joy.¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s head lowered. He felt like he should smile ¡ª but he couldn¡¯t.


    Having thought of something, Song Jin asked, ¡°Did you want to change the direction of your research because Professor Zhang wanted to introduce his daughter to you?¡±


    Professor Zhang truly had kept hinting about it to Song Yu, both covertly and openly; he¡¯d even given Song Yu a look at his daughter¡¯s photo, as though he was sure Song Yu would be interested after seeing her and then change his mind, docilely becoming his son-in-law.


    But Song Yu didn¡¯t say any of those things to his father. ¡°No, I already knew what I wanted to research when I first decided to study geological mapping. I only followed him for my graduation project. The professor in the area I want to research doesn¡¯t take undergraduate students.¡±


    Song Jin leaned back into the rocking chair, staring at the sky. ¡°That¡¯s fine then. It¡¯s simply because Professor Zhang thinks you¡¯re an outstanding student, or else why would he introduce his precious daughter to you? When it comes to something like this, I think we should still have our basic manners as men. If there¡¯s no fate between the two of you, you can still be friends. You might bump into each other in the future for work.¡±


    ¡°But dad¡¯s really super curious. Can you divulge to me what you want to research?¡±


    Father and son chatted while Lin Rong and Yue Zhishi sat in front of the glass windows, drinking milk. There was a carton of milk in each person¡¯s hand, and slurping noises came from the straws.


    ¡°Le Le, do you think your brother likes someone?¡±


    Lin Rong¡¯s sudden question made Yue Zhishi choke on his drink, and he started violently coughing.


    ¡°Aiyah, what¡¯s wrong with you, why are you always choking? You need to slow down when drinking things¡­¡± Lin Rong stroked his back, returning back to her topic. ¡°I hear so much gossip everyday in the restaurant. Guys with worse credentials than your brother have already changed girlfriends multiple times, and yet there hasn¡¯t been any news from your brother. His supervisor likes him enough to want him as his son-in-law, but this guy doesn¡¯t even want to go see her. There¡¯s definitely a problem.¡±


    Yue Zhishi tentatively asked, ¡°Then what if gege really does like someone. What would you do?¡±


    ¡°What do you mean, what would I do?¡± Lin Rong put down her empty milk carton onto the table. ¡°It¡¯ll be great if he has someone he likes. I¡¯d only worry if the other person doesn¡¯t like him back.¡±


    Lin Rong somewhat sorrowfully imagined scenes from an idol drama. ¡°Someone like your brother, if placed in a television drama, would be the second male lead who belongs to the audience. So many people would have their hearts hurting for him.¡±


    ¡°Then¡­¡± Yue Zhishi once again tentatively probed, ¡°what if that person likes gege too?¡±


    ¡°They should get married.¡± Lin Rong said, ¡°I already have a recipe for the wedding cake!¡±


    At first, Yue Zhishi laughed ¡ª and then his heart started to hurt, for no reason at all.


    ¡°Aunt Rong, what if you¡¯re not satisfied with the person gege likes?¡±


    ¡°I think I¡¯d be satisfied though?¡± Lin Rong propped up her face with her two hands, gazing out towards her husband and son outside in the courtyard. A smile brimming with happiness was on her face. ¡°Someone who can make your brother like them must be a very, very good person.¡±


    Yue Zhishi looked towards the yard, thinking autumn was also about to end.


    He didn¡¯t know if he was good enough, but he knew he was a choice that didn¡¯t fit expectations.


    The temperature was quite cold the day they needed to go to the airport. Yue Zhishi had originally worn a cashmere coat, but he was cold the moment he came downstairs. Song Yu ordered him to head back up and change into white, thick cotton-padded clothes.


    ¡°We¡¯ll be late.¡± Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want to change.


    ¡°We won¡¯t go if we¡¯re late,¡± Song Yu said, completely not caring.


    Having switched out his clothes, Yue Zhishi felt like he was sinking directly into a fluffy piece of cotton candy as soon as he sat down in the car. Song Yu turned on the radio, and he peacefully listened to the broadcast the entire drive. He lifted up Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand when there was a red light, pulled it to his mouth and gave it a kiss; he then wrapped his hand around Yue Zhishi¡¯s pale and slender fingertips, using the pads of his fingers to slowly massage them. He looked as though he was very much cherishing those fingers.


    Yue Zhishi stared at Song Yu¡¯s fingers. For some reason, he started to imagine ¡ª he imagined a wedding ring on his finger. It should look very beautiful.


    ¡°I still haven¡¯t bought your birthday present yet,¡± Yue Zhishi suddenly said. ¡°I¡¯ve changed my mind.¡±


    Song Yu knew very well how indecisive he was. ¡°The shirt¡¯s already really nice. You should save your money.¡±


    Even though he¡¯d just been considered poor, Yue Zhishi continued to insist, ¡°No way, I¡¯ve already thought of what to buy.¡±


    Song Yu turned the steering wheel, heading onto the airport expressway. He mildly said, ¡°Then you should settle the payments for the last few times.¡±


    Yue Zhishi looked at Song Yu in confusion. But Song Yu said, poker-faced, ¡°2000 each time. Did you forget?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­¡±


    Sometimes, Yue Zhishi truly found Song Yu very weird. Extremely weird.


    He took in a deep breath, telling himself to endure and be patient. ¡°I haven¡¯t forgotten. Wait until I earn¡­¡±


    ¡°Then let¡¯s wait until you earn money before we go again,¡± Song Yu interrupted. He even let out a slight smile that was free of any emotion.


    Yue Zhishi drew his eyebrows together, a disbelieving look in his puppy dog eyes. ¡°Song Yu, do you not have enough money these days?¡±


    Song Yu sighed without any expression on his face. ¡°There¡¯s nothing I can do about it, it¡¯s not easy earning money for milk powder. I only agreed to be a chauffeur this time because of you. According to my usual fees and how much you¡¯ve used me this time, I¡¯ll give you a 90 percent discount. I¡¯ll record 200 in my books.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Yue Zhishi was initially speechless, but then he later realised there was a problem with Song Yu¡¯s logic. ¡°Wait, who uses money from the baby¡¯s mother to raise their own kid? You¡¯re too good at exploiting people!¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± Song Yu gave him a glance, his final words coming out incomparably calm. ¡°You finally admit you¡¯re carrying my baby.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s face flushed red, Song Yu¡¯s teasing making him stop talking completely.


    He silently used some very weak words to sneakily reproach Song Yu: you might have a delusional disorder, you need to get your brain checked.


    The airport was filled with people, and Yue Zhishi¡¯s annoyance pretty much couldn¡¯t last for even one minute. He forgot all about how he¡¯d been teased as soon as he got off the car and obediently followed behind gege ¡ª he also docilely stood next to Song Yu as they waited in the pick-up area, holding up an A4 piece of paper just like in television dramas. Ms Zhang¡¯s name, Zhang Siyun, was printed on it.


    He¡¯d printed it last night, worried they wouldn¡¯t be able to find her.


    After standing there for a while, Yue Zhishi started to get sleepy again; he leaned against Song Yu. Maybe it was because he was dressed in soft and white clothing, and was so very docile, that Song Yu thought he was very similar to a young Cotton Candy ¡ª he reached out and touched Yue Zhishi¡¯s face, lightly pinching it.


    ¡°Your hand¡¯s so cold,¡± Yue Zhishi may have said, but he squished Song Yu¡¯s hand in between his face and neck, a sweet smile on his face. ¡°I¡¯ll warm it up for you.¡±


    Just as the two of them were in this strange position, Ms Zhang headed towards them, pushing her luggage.


    ¡°Hello, may I ask if you¡¯re Song Yu?¡±


    Hearing a very pleasant-sounding female voice, Yue Zhishi immediately took half a step back and also released Song Yu¡¯s hand. He realised someone was studying the paper in his hand before looking at him again, and so he shook his head at once. ¡°I¡¯m not.¡±


    Ms Zhang was even prettier than he¡¯d imagined. Her looks weren¡¯t quite the same as Nan Jia¡¯s: she was a classic Chinese-American beauty, different from her traditional scholarly name, and had a friendly, stunning face. She had lightly tan skin, her hair long, black and curly, and the lilac highlight on her cheekbones sparkled and glistened.


    ¡°I guessed you weren¡¯t, you¡¯re too cute. You¡¯re mixed, right?¡± She spoke tactfully, and she occasionally mixed in a few English words without realising. She praised him very sincerely, saying, ¡°You¡¯re the best looking Eurasian I¡¯ve seen. I¡¯m really happy to meet you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi modestly shook his head, saying similar things after introducing himself.


    Zhang Siyun turned towards Song Yu. ¡°So you must be Song Yu.¡±


    She stretched out a hand, saying to him in an easy and relaxed manner, ¡°Hi. You can call me Monica.¡±


    Meeting her gaze, Song Yu didn¡¯t reach a hand out in return. ¡°Hello, Ms Zhang. Is this all your luggage?¡±


    Zhang Siyun pulled back her hand without batting an eyelid and smiled. ¡°Yes, I¡¯m a minimalist.¡±


    Song Yu nodded. ¡°Then we can head off.¡±


    Zhang Siyun was quite talkative, expressing her gratitude to them once again before lightly grumbling about her overly doting father. She didn¡¯t let Song Yu take her luggage, pushing it the entire way herself, and she was even prepared to lift it into the trunk herself once Song Yu released the lock. But Song Yu still ended up moving it for her ¡ª even though he never interacted with girls he didn¡¯t know while at school, he didn¡¯t want to look so obviously ungentlemanly.


    Besides, he thought ¡ª if he¡¯d just stood there and hadn¡¯t done anything, it was very likely Yue Zhishi would¡¯ve reached out and moved it himself.


    Yue Zhishi pulled open the passenger seat door without thinking when they arrived at the car, but he abruptly paused and looked at Zhang Siyun. He hesitated for a while before he said, ¡°Would you like to sit in the front or in the back?¡±


    Brushing her hair away, Zhang Siyun smiled. ¡°Would it look too much like I¡¯m taking you guys as my chauffeurs if I sat in the back? I wouldn¡¯t want it to look like that.¡±


    Yue Zhishi felt like he understood what she was trying to say. Faltering, he prepared to retreat to the back ¡ª but only he had sat in Song Yu¡¯s passenger seat before. He started to feel somewhat uncomfortable for no reason at all, and thought he was perhaps being overly petty.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi.¡± Song Yu looked at him as he stood outside the doors. ¡°Sit upfront.¡± He then said to Zhang Siyun, ¡°It¡¯s fine, I¡¯m originally here as a chauffeur anyway.¡±


    ¡°Then, thanks.¡± Ms Zhang gracefully went to sit in the backseat.


    Somewhat distracted, Yue Zhishi forgot to put on his seatbelt. Song Yu leaned across, his hand reaching over very naturally to pull over and fasten his seatbelt for him.


    There was a bit of traffic on the way back, and Zhang Siyun actively started to talk, even frankly bringing up her fairly old-fashioned and bothersome father.


    ¡°As you¡¯d know, an established academic like him has a lot of say when it comes to professional matters. He also likes being able to control everything in his private life ¡ª so no matter how much much he loves me, he still wants to hurry and find a good family for me to marry into and start having kids.¡± She twitched her lips without conscious thought and shrugged. ¡°Perhaps this is a typical example of patriarchy.¡±


    Yue Zhishi unexpectedly found her a bit pitiful, and as he imagined some scenarios with her father rushing her to get married, he couldn¡¯t help but ask, ¡°Has Professor Zhang forced you to go on matchmaking dates?¡±


    ¡°No. After all, I was still out of the country.¡± Zhang Siyun chuckled. ¡°But he¡¯d sometimes bring up guys he thought were pretty good, either consciously or not, and the guy who came up the most often was Song Yu.¡±


    Despite being named, Song Yu acted as though he hadn¡¯t heard, focused entirely on driving. He didn¡¯t say a single word. It was as though with Yue Zhishi there to converse, he didn¡¯t have to care about a single thing and could be the free-floating, stubborn and unfeeling ice mountain as he used to be.


    ¡°Really¡­¡± Yue Zhishi quietly said. ¡°He really does think highly of Song Yu ¡ª Song Yu is still doing his graduation project, and yet he¡¯s already been pulled into the research lab.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right. But my dad¡¯s description of Song Yu was very¡­¡± Zhang Siyun paused, ¡°¡­deficient. He only compliments Song Yu¡¯s academics and never stops going on about them. To the point where my brain only thought of this future academic star as an extreme nerd.¡±


    She started to smile again as she spoke, looking at Song Yu¡¯s strong reflection in the rearview mirror. ¡°Today¡¯s meeting really has been a pleasant surprise. After all, no one dislikes a handsome face. If my dad had given me a photo of you, we might¡¯ve met earlier.¡±


    She displayed her interest towards Song Yu very straightforwardly, and it made Yue Zhishi feel like he was in a particularly awkward position ¡ª he felt like an unnecessary waiter bringing up dishes during a matchmaking session or dinner date, gingerly clutching the small tip given to him so he could go away.


    Yue Zhishi felt like he¡¯d overestimated his own abilities to think he could ease the atmosphere. This was just the beginning, and yet he already didn¡¯t want to talk anymore.


    As Song Yu listened to Ms Zhang¡¯s words, he thought of all the various kinds of hints and coercion Professor Zhang had given him and started to feel a bit irritated ¡ª he also didn¡¯t know how he should respond to her ¡®handsome¡¯ and ¡®might¡¯ve met earlier¡¯. Noticing Yue Zhishi¡¯s silence, he asked him, ¡°Are you cold? Do you want to turn on the aircon?¡±


    Yue Zhishi lifted his head in bewilderment; he shook his head at first, but then he felt like he might have answered too hastily. Turning his face around, he asked Zhang Siyun, ¡°What about you?¡±


    Zhang Siyun shook her head as she smiled. ¡°My clothes are quite thick, thank you. But the weather here is a bit drier than I expected. My impression of Jiang City was of a low-pressure area with never-ending rain. I didn¡¯t really like it.¡±


    In his heart, Yue Zhishi silently disagreed. He really liked rain, because he¡¯d known from a young age ¡ª whenever it rained, he could get closer to Song Yu. It would be even better if it thundered.


    ¡°But Wuhan U should be really beautiful right now with the gingko and maple trees. I remember I used to visit there a lot when I was still in junior high, but after staying overseas for so long, I don¡¯t know what kind of new buildings there are now.¡± Zhang Siyun extended an invitation especially naturally, but her eyes were looking at Song Yu¡¯s face in the rearview mirror. ¡°Would you guys happen to have the time to take me around? I can also pull out my dusty DSLR to take some scenery photos and not waste the effort.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t speak, so Yue Zhishi said, ¡°If you need someone to go with you, I can¡­¡±


    ¡°Wuhan U¡¯s scenery is actually better suited to be appreciated alone.¡±


    Song Yu interrupted Yue Zhishi¡¯s sentence, coolly yet politely advising her, ¡°If you follow the roads up Luojia Mountain, you can see whatever you want to see. A lot of photography enthusiasts go there as well, so you might be able to meet people with the same hobby as you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi looked at Zhang Siyun and glanced at Song Yu. He then said to her, a smile on his face, ¡°Mn, I really like walking by myself on roads covered with fallen leaves. I¡¯m in a great mood after just a short walk.¡±


    Even though she¡¯d been rejected, Zhang Siyun gave them a slight smile very magnanimously. ¡°I really like fallen leaves too. Climbing up a mountain by myself isn¡¯t a bad idea.¡±


    The drive was too unsteady from all the traffic, and so Yue Zhishi started to feel carsick. He cracked open a window for some air, but the wind was too strong, rapidly irritating his throat; he started to cough again.


    Zhang Siyun leaned over politely to ask if he was okay, but Song Yu had reacted faster: he handed to Yue Zhishi a thermos with its lid already open and even closed his window.


    ¡°Drink some water. We¡¯ll go home very soon.¡±


    His voice was pitched low and softly, the words most likely spoken only for Yue Zhishi to hear, but Zhang Siyun still heard them.


    She reclined back into her seat, gaze studying the side of Song Yu¡¯s face. It had turned tender, and a slightly indescribable feeling rose in her heart.


    It was as though the person who had just suggested to her to climb the mountain alone was someone else entirely.


    After drinking enough water, Yue Zhishi curved his head onto the window, sniffling. ¡°Will I feel better if I slept a bit?¡±


    Song Yu nodded and turned off the music playing in the car. ¡°Cover yourself with the blanket.¡±


    Yue Zhishi remembered slightly awkwardly ¡ª the little blanket he always used seemed to be in the backseat.


    ¡°This one?¡± Zhang Siyun proactively grabbed it and gave to Yue Zhishi. Her fingers were long and slender, nails painted a rose colour, and a pretty rose gold ring was on her index finger.


    Yue Zhishi wanted to say thank you, but he had been a bit distracted ¡ª and so Zhang Siyun opened her mouth faster than he did.


    ¡°That¡¯s right, I keep forgetting to ask.¡± Her smile was sweet and charming. ¡°What¡¯s the relationship between the two of you?¡±


    The author has something to say:


    Conveniently mentioning that Ms Zhang isn¡¯t a evil female side character (spoiler)


    She could be considered as an assist for them to come out


    (/spoiler) PS she¡¯s not wlw either, she¡¯s just a super straightforward person, the kind who¡¯d immediately express her like for you if she likes you


    Song Yu has always treated people differently depending on who it is, he¡¯s only ever treated Yue Zhishi warmly, from beginning to now. Even to the very familiar Nan Jia, as long as he doesn¡¯t want to do it, he¡¯ll reject her ¡ª let alone this time it¡¯s his professor stubbornly forcing a strange Ms Zhang on him. He really is only here to fulfil chauffeur duties.


    Nan Jia once again here to complain: the first time I saw Song Yu at the basketball court, this guy immediately threw down his ball and left. He didn¡¯t even give me a single look, such a cold guy (pulling up the past)

 CH 88

    Chapter 88: Approaching Winter


    Yue Zhishi no longer wanted to sleep after hearing that question.


    Guessing Song Yu wouldn¡¯t answer it, he thought carefully about how he should answer.


    Up to now, he and Song Yu were still in a secret relationship that couldn¡¯t be exposed. Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t ¡ª and couldn¡¯t ¡ª tell anyone he knew that he was Song Yu¡¯s lover. It would be even more inappropriate to give that answer to a girl who was similar to being a matchmaking partner for Song Yu, especially since that girl was the daughter of Song Yu¡¯s supervisor. It was likely to implicate Song Yu¡¯s studies.


    ¡°I¡¯ve lived in his home since I was a child.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s answer was a bit overly brief, so Zhang Siyun was naturally curious. ¡°Eh? Why?¡±


    ¡°Because my parents have passed away, and¡­. When my dad was still alive, he and Song Yu¡¯s father were good friends.¡±


    ¡°Jesus. I¡¯m sorry, I didn¡¯t mean to ask that on purpose.¡±


    Yue Zhishi could see the dismay on Zhang Siyun¡¯s face, as well as a subtle touch of sympathy. There was a complicated mix of feelings in Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart.


    ¡°It¡¯s fine, it¡¯s nothing serious. They passed away when I was still very young, so I don¡¯t really remember them anymore.¡±


    In order to reduce someone else¡¯s guilt, he said some dishonest words and did his best to maintain the smile on his face. And yet he also didn¡¯t want to be taken as an adopted younger brother, so he said, ¡°But I only live with his family, I¡¯m not legally related to them. Song Yu and I, we¡­ we¡¯re just two people who¡¯ve grown up together.¡±


    His usage of ¡®just¡¯ was targeted towards his first sentence ¡ª he selfishly didn¡¯t want Zhang Siyun to think he truly was Song Yu¡¯s little brother. But the entirety of Yue Zhishi¡¯s answer, to Song Yu¡¯s ears, was as though he was clarifying something unpleasant.


    Song Yu was gazing out the car. The leaves had all been blown up into the sky from the strong winds, and they were floating, adrift; they couldn¡¯t fall to the ground no matter how they struggled.


    He didn¡¯t know whether he wanted them to land, or if he hoped for them to remain forever flying.


    ¡°I see, no wonder he takes care of you so well. I feel like the relationship between you two is particularly close, maybe even closer than some true blood related brothers.¡± Zhang Siyun smiled after she finished speaking, looking at Song Yu. ¡°There really is too much traffic. It might be lunchtime by the time we reach the university ¡ª let me treat you guys to lunch, as a thank you.¡±


    ¡°No need,¡± Song Yu politely declined. ¡°This was just a small matter.¡±


    Zhang Siyun didn¡¯t continue insisting on taking them to lunch, only saying very tactfully, ¡°We can talk about it again later.¡±


    ¡°Oh yes, my dad told me about your graduation thesis. I hear you¡¯ve pretty much completed it already. I managed to take a look at some of your work thanks to my dad, and I¡¯m pretty interested in your topic too¡­¡±


    She looked even more charming once she started talking about professional matters; Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t quite understand most of the things she talked about.


    In the past, Yue Zhishi would get very sleepy whenever he heard things he didn¡¯t understand ¡ª but today, as he sat there, he was completely unable to fall asleep.


    When faced with academic questions, Song Yu wouldn¡¯t be as silent as when he was given personal questions. He essentially would answer all of them, and Zhang Siyun was someone who knew very well how to ask questions.


    He didn¡¯t seem to be awkward anymore after a few rounds of questions. Song Yu no longer spread his resentment towards Professor Zhang into the car, and he became polite yet distanced, conversing with Ms Zhang like professional colleagues.


    Yue Zhishi quietly listened. He wanted to say something but couldn¡¯t ¡ª his major was too different. He could only follow along and praise Song Yu a few times before looking out at the congested bunch of cars; he stared at the car licence right in front of them.


    ¡°That¡¯s very valuable,¡± Zhang Siyun said, not stingy in her praise of Song Yu¡¯s innovation.


    ¡°Someone¡¯s done it before,¡± Song Yu indifferently said. ¡°I was only following what they¡¯ve done.¡±


    ¡°If you complete the later stages of the research with my dad, you¡¯ll definitely get a lot of achievements.¡± Zhang Siyun leaned back into her seat and sighed, a cute tone in her voice, ¡°Ah, as expected, smart men are the sexiest.¡±


    As though some wind had blown in from a secret little hole, Yue Zhishi found himself a bit cold, but he was convinced only he himself felt that way. He could only shrink into his cotton clothes. He rested peacefully for a while, but he still ended up opening his eyes and asking Song Yu, his voice very weak, ¡°Can I watch anime for a bit?¡±


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you say there wasn¡¯t a new episode?¡± Song Yu glanced at him. ¡°And it¡¯s easy to get car sick if you use your phone in the car.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, I want to watch it again.¡± He pulled out his earbuds and put them in, saying to Zhang Siyun, ¡°You guys can talk, I¡¯m going to watch something.¡±


    Yue Zhishi turned back around after seeing Zhang Siyun give him a smile; he watched the video by himself, the sound turned up very loudly.


    He¡¯d actually watched this episode four times already. There was really nothing in it worth rewatching again, and since it was only twenty minutes long, he¡¯d almost already memorised all the dialogue. It was such a funny, boisterous episode, and yet maybe because he¡¯d watched it too many times, Yue Zhishi had no interest in it at all.


    With his earbuds in, he could still hear the muffled, vague noises of Zhang Siyun laughing; she seemed very happy. He too wanted to know what they were talking about to make her so happy, but the other half of him put a stop to those thoughts.


    One episode finished, and so he clicked onto the previous episode, pretending his video had still more to go. But Song Yu stopped the car ¡ª they had arrived.


    Yue Zhishi took off his earbuds and unfastened his seatbelt. He heard Zhang Siyun suggest, ¡°Look, since we¡¯re already here ¡ª there¡¯s a good western restaurant over there. They¡¯ve been open for many years. Let me treat you guys to a meal.¡±


    Zhang Siyun smiled as she pointed at her watch. ¡°It¡¯s already a bit late. It¡¯s fine if you¡¯re hungry, but will you let your little brother go hungry too?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was thinking of something else, so when he heard them talk about him, he absent-mindedly nodded. ¡°I¡¯m fine with anything.¡±


    Song Yu looked at him ¡ª he didn¡¯t want to go, so he still ended up rejecting her.


    Zhang Siyun didn¡¯t force them, taking her luggage from Song Yu. ¡°Since you¡¯re allowing me to owe you one meal today, I¡¯m definitely going to think of a way to return it back to you next time.¡±


    Before leaving, she brought up exchanging contact information. She was very smart, first adding Yue Zhishi¡¯s details before saying to him, ¡°Just forward your brother¡¯s WeChat to me, my hands are so cold I don¡¯t want to scan anymore.¡±


    Yue Zhishi hesitated for a very long time after she left. He still ended up mutely forwarding Song Yu¡¯s WeChat to her, locking his phone immediately afterwards.


    Yue Zhishi thought Zhang Siyun truly was someone who knew very well how to chase after someone. She didn¡¯t cling around when she knew she wasn¡¯t wanted, understanding when to gracefully step away. Her innate self-confidence was also very attractive, as though she¡¯d never lost before in front of others; it was why she was so sure of herself despite encountering Song Yu¡¯s cold personality, so assured she could take things one step at a time.


    If only he had her speaking skills ¡ª perhaps he wouldn¡¯t have pestered Song Yu for so many years.


    But in the next second, he consoled himself: Song Yu liked idiots.


    ¡°Are you hungry? There¡¯s a shopping centre up ahead, there should be a few restaurants in there.¡±


    Yue Zhishi said he wasn¡¯t hungry, but then he also said sure, let¡¯s go there to eat.


    They entered a Thai restaurant, and Song Yu ordered as usual ¡ª but this time, Yue Zhishi ate very little and didn¡¯t even touch his dessert and drink.


    ¡°You don¡¯t have a good appetite today.¡±


    Yue Zhishi laughed. ¡°I ate too much in the morning.¡± He started to list all the things he ate for breakfast.


    Song Yu quietly listened until he finished, and he raised his eyes to look at him. ¡°Are you unhappy?¡±


    Lowering his head, Yue Zhishi took a bite of his pudding. ¡°Not at all, I¡¯m just carsick.¡±


    Song Yu paused, as if he was very seriously considering what he should say. ¡°There¡¯s no possibility of Ms Zhang and me going further. This was all decided by themselves without asking.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t think there was,¡± Yue Zhishi said. His voice was so soft; it sounded like it had floated across.


    He felt like Song Yu had seen through him. Even though he was already used to that happening, he didn¡¯t want Song Yu to think he was someone who couldn¡¯t handle something small yet annoying when it came to something like this.


    He wasn¡¯t like that anyway ¡ª an uncountable number of people had liked Song Yu since childhood, and he¡¯d continuously heard gossip about Song Yu since junior high. He¡¯d received love letters for him, even passing on confessions; he¡¯d gotten used to it a long time ago.


    If Zhang Siyun had asked him today to help her pursue Song Yu, Yue Zhishi would¡¯ve still found it difficult to refuse her.


    Seeing him not continuing to speak, Song Yu stayed silent for a few seconds, thinking of how Yue Zhishi had said they had just been two people who¡¯d grown up together. He couldn¡¯t help but feel a bit disappointed, but he still gently said to Yue Zhishi, ¡°You actually didn¡¯t need to explain so much to her.¡±


    Yue Zhishi knew he was referring to the relationship between them. His head remained lowered, as though in a daze, and he only asked in return in a very subdued voice after a long while had passed, ¡°Then what should I have done? Should I have not said anything like you ¡ª or should I have straight up and told her you were my boyfriend, please don¡¯t show interest in you and please also ask your father to not intervene anymore?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not childish enough to make you come out in front of your supervisor just because of my possessiveness.¡±


    ¡°Le Le¡­¡± Song Yu reached out a hand, laying it on the back of Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand. He didn¡¯t reject it.


    His unhappiness didn¡¯t last for very long; after hearing Song Yu call out his name, Yue Zhishi suddenly felt he¡¯d been too harsh. What he¡¯d just said must¡¯ve made Song Yu feel uncomfortable ¡ª so very quickly, he let go of his emotions.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, gege.¡± Yue Zhishi gave him a smile. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean it like that.¡±


    His phone vibrated. Yue Zhishi checked; it was a message from Zhang Siyun.


    [Monica: Handsome boy~ I just added him, thank you for coming with Song Yu today to pick me up. I¡¯m heading to campus tomorrow, I¡¯ll bring you something tasty!]


    Yue Zhishi sent back a reply, his head lowered.


    [Yue Zhishi: It¡¯s okay, I didn¡¯t do anything]


    [Monica: No no, I need to. By the way, what kind of cakes does Song Yu like? I saw he recently had his birthday, so I wanted to give him a belated birthday cake. It should be appropriate.]


    ¡°Who are you talking to?¡± Song Yu asked. ¡°Zhang Siyun?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t talk to her,¡± Song Yu said.


    ¡°It¡¯s normal to chat a few times after adding someone.¡± Yue Zhishi kept his head down, giving Zhang Siyun a very succinct suggestion.


    [Yue Zhishi: He doesn¡¯t eat sweets, perhaps coffee would be more suitable.]


    After finishing their food, Yue Zhishi said he wanted to head back ¡ª he had a class that afternoon.


    Song Yu paid and then took Yue Zhishi back to the underground car park, hugging him for a very long time. His father called once they¡¯d gotten into the car.


    His eyebrows were drawn together the entire time he was on the phone. ¡°We¡¯ve dropped her off at home. No¡­¡±


    It was very quiet in the car; it was as though the ability of Yue Zhishi¡¯s ears to hear had been magnified, keenly able to catch some indistinct words. Pieced together, they seemed to be asking about Zhang Siyun¡¯s personality.


    ¡°You can¡¯t understand someone¡¯s personality just after one meeting¡­ I don¡¯t think it¡¯s appropriate.¡± Song Yu explained into the phone, ¡°We only talked about academic topics.¡±


    ¡°Mn, I know. I¡¯m driving, I¡¯m going to hang up.¡±


    Once they reached the entrance to their university, Song Yu didn¡¯t open the car doors, as though he was locking Yue Zhishi and himself into the car. He only opened his mouth after a long time had passed, saying, ¡°Le Le, don¡¯t be sad.¡±


    The tone in his voice as he said that sentence made Yue Zhishi think of what Song Yu had said before: as long as you don¡¯t get sick, you can lose your temper however you¡¯d like.


    But he didn¡¯t think he could ¡ª let alone the fact he didn¡¯t have much of a temper to begin with.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sad. Honest.¡± Yue Zhishi felt like his current mood couldn¡¯t really be described as ¡®sad¡¯; compared to what he¡¯d felt when he thought Song Yu was going to move in with someone after understanding his own heart, he was feeling much better. After all, he now knew the person Song Yu loved was him ¡ª there was no one else.


    He noticed Song Yu¡¯s phone lighting up again, Professor Zhang¡¯s name flashing on it, but he didn¡¯t speak. Instead, he felt a bit distressed for Song Yu; it felt like everyone was forcing him to move, step by step, and that included himself.


    Yue Zhishi touched Song Yu¡¯s arm and then leaned over the armrests in between them, giving him a soft hug. He wanted to give him some comfort.


    He wanted to say he really liked him, but he hesitated ¡ª he didn¡¯t end up saying it.


    He placed himself in Song Yu¡¯s position, and thought: if he heard himself saying he liked him right at this very moment, it would most likely be another kind of pressure.


    When compared to Song Yu being unhappy, the uneasy feeling in Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart seemed to dwindle, turning smaller and smaller until it was almost about to disappear completely. Only a tiny fragment remained.


    Song Yu calmed down, and his phone also stopped vibrating. He kissed Yue Zhishi¡¯s face, said he really loved him; in the end, he still let go and let Yue Zhishi go to class.


    Zhang Siyun came to campus the next day and sent Yue Zhishi a scenery photo she¡¯d taken, saying afterwards that she¡¯d bought him a cake. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want to tell her about his allergy, so he still went to meet her and pick up the cake, earnestly expressing his gratitude.


    Waving her hands, Zhang Siyun smiled and told him to not be so polite. When she saw that he¡¯d come out in his woolly home clothes, she suggested taking him back to his dorm, and the two of them walked together for a while, chatting about some things.


    ¡°Has your brother always been so serious and reserved?¡±


    ¡°I suppose so.¡± Yue Zhishi then softly said, ¡°He¡¯s not my brother.¡±


    ¡°Ah yes. I said it without thinking.¡± Zhang Siyun gave him a smile. ¡°I feel like he and I have a fair bit of things in common to talk about. Maybe it¡¯s because our studies are pretty similar that we can have conversations, but if I use you as a reference, then there¡¯s still a long way to go before we could be considered as getting along.¡±


    Yue Zhishi remembered their conversation in the car and agreed with her assessment. His ability to think seemed to have grown dull; after a good few seconds, he asked, faltering, ¡°Sister Siyun, do you like Song Yu?¡±


    ¡°Am I being too obvious?¡± Zhang Siyun slightly widened her eyes. There was a spring in her voice, and the smile on her face was so adorable. ¡°Do you know? He really is my type. Even though he¡¯s a bit cold, it won¡¯t stop me ¡ª I think he¡¯s the kind of person who¡¯ll be really tender to you after getting into a relationship with you. Seeing how nicely he treats you, he should have a very gentle heart.¡±


    Yue Zhishi wanted to say, yes, you¡¯re right. But he didn¡¯t.


    Once they reached his dorm building, Yue Zhishi separated from Zhang Siyun and went up by himself, sharing the expensive-looking cake with his dorm mates.


    He swiped a finger through some of the cream and tasted it. He couldn¡¯t deny that it really was delicious.


    Winter came closer and closer, and the wind scraped on faces like the edge of an invisible knife. It rained once again the last few days, and the temperature in the city rapidly dropped. Yue Zhishi really did his best to stay warm, but he still caught a stuffy nose. He was afraid of getting sick, but he realised ¡ª whatever he was afraid of would always arrive.


    Other than this, he had another very profound realisation: as soon as someone noticed something and took it to heart, he would constantly, consistently, see it.


    Such as seeing Zhang Siyun and Song Yu in a certain deserted cafe on campus. He saw Song Yu¡¯s back as soon as he walked in; the two of them were sitting at the same table, saying something while face to face. They looked rather well-matched ¡ª Zhang Siyun was beautiful and straight-forward, and there was nothing wrong with the way she chose to interact with Song Yu.


    Yue Zhishi stood at the door, not taking any further steps. Using the excuse of the cafe not being warm, he pulled Jiang Yufan and Shen Mi away and found another place to study.


    Later, he saw a Moments post from Song Yu¡¯s senior sister in his research lab. He¡¯d added her earlier when he was giving out snowflake crisps.


    [Feels like the lofty, unapproachable ice mountain junior brother in my research lab might soon thaw from warmth.]


    And even later, he received a call from Lin Rong. She somehow saw a video of Zhang Siyun giving a speech, and she shared it with Yue Zhishi. She gave out rare compliments, saying Zhang Siyun was even more outstanding that she¡¯d imagined.


    ¡°The daughter of a professor really is different. Right, Le Le?¡±


    Yue Zhishi agreed. In a bit of self despair, he even said, ¡°She¡¯s also really nice. She¡¯s really pretty and really smart ¡ª she¡¯s able to talk professional matters with gege.¡±


    ¡°Then there¡¯s still a chance. Talk to your brother a bit more, tell him not to be too cold when interacting with girls. Otherwise it¡¯ll be really easy for the girl to feel hurt.¡±


    Yue Zhishi could very much understand Lin Rong¡¯s words ¡ª after all, he himself had experienced it. But he still asked, refusing to give up, ¡°What if gege doesn¡¯t like her?¡±


    Lin Rong thought Song Yu had told him so. ¡°Really, did your brother say that? Well, I think this girl¡¯s already really nice, but this isn¡¯t something I can interfere with. Who knows, maybe your brother might end up liking her after a while.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t say anything else.


    His relationship didn¡¯t stop just because of the sudden appearance of a girl.


    They sent messages to each other every day, just like usual. They talked to each other, just like usual. They also ate and studied together, and would even hug and kiss each other in the dark corners of the campus ¡ª but Song Yu could still feel the change in Yue Zhishi.


    He was now even more understanding and obedient than before. He didn¡¯t ask anything about Zhang Siyun, didn¡¯t show any signs of unhappiness; he actively shared with Song Yu any jokes he¡¯d heard or interesting things that had happened to him, and when they were intimate with each other, his actions were as though he was submitting to Song Yu what little energy he had.


    Song Yu urged him to live in the apartment with him, and Yue Zhishi readily agreed. But he never slept well.


    Whenever Yue Zhishi was sleeping very deeply, his whole body would be very relaxed; he¡¯d sleep on Song Yu¡¯s arm without a single qualm. But he hadn¡¯t done so, recently ¡ª he would adjust his sleeping position very carefully, his breathing light and delicate.


    In the mornings, Song Yu would kiss his forehead and ask how he¡¯d slept; Yue Zhishi would purse his lips and smile, his eyes curving, and say with a sincere look on his face that he¡¯d slept very well ¡ª and then he¡¯d hold Song Yu in his arms, as though extremely afraid he¡¯d lose him.


    Whenever they were around other people and someone made a joke about him and Zhang Siyun, calling her the ¡®newly arrived beautiful lady¡¯, Yue Zhishi would also nod. He¡¯d echo and say she truly was very beautiful. Yet in the empty corners, in the apartment with just the two of them, Yue Zhishi would hold him again and again, unceasingly pressing close to him and even initiating things ¡ª as though hoping he could obtain and prove something through their intimate touches.


    Since the very start of his adolescence, Song Yu had wanted to have Yue Zhishi. But he hadn¡¯t wanted a Yue Zhishi like this.


    During a Monday team meeting, Professor Zhang called Song Yu a ¡®family member¡¯ in front of everyone. It made him so very uncomfortable, and he immediately left the meeting, using the excuse of needing the bathroom.


    He wanted to vomit.


    All of this made him unable to breathe. It felt like he was captured inside a massive net while Yue Zhishi was stranded outside, lost and fearful. If only Yue Zhishi was a bit more impulsive and either complained or thrown a tantrum at him ¡ª Song Yu wouldn¡¯t have felt distressed even if he did so.


    Except in reality, on the second time Zhang Siyun had come to campus, Song Yu had already politely yet explicitly expressed to her that he wasn¡¯t planning on getting into a relationship.


    She¡¯d gone to the research lab her first time on campus; Song Yu couldn¡¯t stop her, since that was her father¡¯s research lab.


    But there was no way he could put up with forced meetings and forced arrangements.


    There were some things Song Yu wanted to clear up face to face, but Zhang Siyun felt like they should speak in a place suitable for a conversation ¡ª such as a cafe on campus.


    ¡°You speak in such absolutes, as if to you, dating is something that needs to be planned out.¡± After hearing Song Yu¡¯s words, Zhang Siyun didn¡¯t feel very disappointed. She even chuckled, her fingers wrapped around a silver spoon as she lightly stirred the coffee in front of her. Her eyes, though, were focused on Song Yu, who was sitting across from her.


    ¡°You guessed correctly. I really do like you. So you can actually reject me even more frankly ¡ª you don¡¯t look like someone who would speak in such a roundabout way.¡±


    ¡°But¡­¡± Zhang Siyun propped her cheek on a hand, ¡°since you¡¯re single, I should still have a chance to pursue you.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not single,¡± Song Yu calmly said. His voice was firm. ¡°I have a partner, and I love him very much ¡ª I really care about what he thinks.¡±


    Zhang Siyun¡¯s movements paused, as though considering something. She tried to find a single shred of evidence on Song Yu¡¯s face to prove he was lying, but she couldn¡¯t. Song Yu was as resolute as though he could only see one person for his entire life, his passion unceasing.


    ¡°So that¡¯s how it is.¡± She smiled generously. ¡°Then I¡¯ll temporarily shelve my plans to pursue you and be an honest friend. Even though I¡¯m truly really curious about what kind of girl you like, I feel like you wouldn¡¯t want to talk too much about her.¡±


    She brushed away the long hair on her shoulders, a painted finger lightly tapping on the table. ¡°Song Yu, you wouldn¡¯t be dating a girl your parents wouldn¡¯t like, would you? They should be completely in the dark about your relationship, or how else would I have gotten involved?¡±


    ¡°Do you really not plan on laying things out and telling your parents?¡±


    Song Yu had wanted to wait until later, or at least until after he¡¯d graduated ¡ª until after he¡¯d confirmed again and again that Yue Zhishi wouldn¡¯t feel regret because of him.


    But now, he himself started to feel a tinge of regret.


    He wanted to make themselves known at this very moment, but how should Yue Zhishi handle himself afterwards? Could he trust the person in front of him?


    It was such an untimely, unwelcome memory, but Song Yu thought of Xu Qichen in the past; he could feel stabbing, stinging pain in his chest.


    He was afraid of Yue Zhishi receiving even the tiniest, the smallest bit of harm.


    Seeing him fall silent, Zhang Siyun said with a bit of incomprehension, ¡°In a secret relationship, your partner will end up hurt no matter what. It doesn¡¯t matter how much you care for them; you can¡¯t prevent your parents from matchmaking. Such as me.¡±


    She recalled how Song Yu had icily called her Ms Zhang the first time they¡¯d met. She found how he¡¯d acted particularly reasonable now ¡ª no man would be willing to put up with his parents and professor forcing him to meet another girl when he had a partner. Especially when that man was someone like Song Yu, a proud and haughty man favoured by the heavens.


    She couldn¡¯t help but laugh, and then she released a sigh. ¡°Song Yu, someone as excellent as you will always have people chasing after you. After rejecting a Ms Zhang, there might be a Ms Wang, Ms Li or even a Ms Yang. How many rounds of this can your girlfriend endure?¡±


    The author has something to say:


    After returning to school, Song Yu was forced to see Ms Zhang for a total of two times. The first time, Ms Zhang went to the research lab (he couldn¡¯t avoid her there no matter what), and the second time was when he rejected Ms Zhang at the cafe.


    Le Le bumped into their second meeting. Actually, the pain and provocation he¡¯s been suffering have mainly been from the people around him, but those people haven¡¯t meant to do so ¡ª they don¡¯t know the truth.


    My books have never been tagged with the ¡®sweet¡¯ tag. From the side characters getting outed and then being bullied at school in the beginning, to the fashion show in the rain a few chapters ago, everyone should understand that this isn¡¯t a book where homosexuality is openly accepted and treated as normal. It¡¯s similar to our world ¡ª coming out isn¡¯t so simple.


    Also, I¡¯ve written in the introduction that this book doesn¡¯t have a strong shou. I don¡¯t know why there are still arguments about it by the time we¡¯ve reached this chapter. I really don¡¯t understand.


    Le Le¡¯s character has never been someone ¡®completely optimist and self-confident¡¯. If you think he is, I think there might be a misunderstanding. He¡¯s very happy on the surface, but he lacks a sense of security. He needs a very strong intimate dependency. He¡¯s clung to gege since he¡¯s been a child and even went to gege¡¯s university to look for him. He had separation anxiety, and he broke down after liking gege. He even is somewhat touch starved at certain times, endlessly demanding gege¡¯s touch. All of these things together is the true Yue Zhishi below the surface. Why is he like that? It¡¯s very simple. Because other than himself, Yue Zhishi has nothing else.


    Can a foster family keep him his entire life? Can love remain forever? It¡¯s very hard to say.


    Can someone with so little have the confidence to reject other people whenever he wants? That¡¯s so hard to do ¡ª and so Yue Zhishi is always the one satisfying other people. No matter if it¡¯s his friends, or his lover.


    He can talk about death so openly because he thinks it¡¯s something very easy to talk about. Accidents are hard to predict; that¡¯s how his parents died. And so he really cherishes the Song family ¡ª they are a treasure that he managed to get, yet they don¡¯t belong to him. The more warmth and love he is given, the more insecure he feels. It would¡¯ve been fine if he didn¡¯t have any to begin with, but as soon as he¡¯s given the smallest amount, he becomes very afraid of losing it.


    I¡¯ve seen some people say that if his parents hadn¡¯t died, he should¡¯ve been someone as confident as Ms Zhang. Yes, having parents versus not having parents makes a very large difference. If Yue Zhishi had his parents, then he would¡¯ve had particularly outstanding credentials. With his father as a famous journalist and his mother so kind and gentle, he would¡¯ve grown up with love and care, and with his loveable face and personality, his talents and abilities, he would¡¯ve had a very perfect life.


    But the brutal thing is, he wasn¡¯t able to become such a person. All the things he¡¯s missed out on has left a crack down his life.


    Sensitive, considering others more than himself, kind and naive, and even sometimes treating himself very cruelly ¡ª that is Yue Zhishi.

 CH 89

    Chapter 89: Peeling Away the Darkness


    ¡°You don¡¯t need to let everyone know when you like someone. I¡¯m not trying to force you.¡±


    The smile on Zhang Siyun¡¯s face slightly faded away. ¡°But your parents seem to really care about your love life and future marriage. If you don¡¯t tell them, they¡¯ll still think they can introduce suitable girls to you in the future. There¡¯ll only be more and more problems between you and your girlfriend, and once more time has passed, she really might end up leaving you. Do you know how hard it is for a girl when she¡¯s tired? Please ¡ª that shouldn¡¯t be what you want, right?¡±


    Seeing Song Yu¡¯s tightly drawn eyebrows, Zhang Siyun held her chin in her hands. ¡°I¡¯m serious. I¡¯m saying all of this from the bottom of my heart.¡±


    Song Yu looked at her with some uncertainty as he heard her encouraging him once again. ¡°What are your plans?¡±


    ¡°Me?¡± Zhang Siyun blinked. ¡°Plans?¡±


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you just say you were temporarily shelving your plans.¡± Song Yu blandly explained to her, ¡°I¡¯ve liked this person for many years already. I will acknowledge only him in this lifetime.¡±


    ¡°I know. Don¡¯t worry, I don¡¯t have any more plans.¡± Zhang Siyun took a sip of her coffee and put the cup back down. ¡°I only said ¡®temporarily shelving¡¯ in order to leave myself some face. It was so rare for me to fall in love at first sight, only for you to already have a girlfriend. I ended up wasting my heart. I¡¯m actually quite hurt, but I care more about how I look than my broken heart. I don¡¯t want to blubber and spill a cup of coffee over you ¡ª how terrible would that look?¡±


    ¡°Ah yes, saying we could be friends was also to leave some dignity for the both of us since I can¡¯t just disappear after yelling at you. Don¡¯t mention that plan anymore; it was just talk. Don¡¯t take it seriously. I might be dating a new handsome guy next week, and having a friend like you around would only affect my peach blossoms. We¡¯re not the same kind of people. You hold love sacred while me ¡ª I intend on enjoying my life to its fullest.¡±


    Standing up, she paid the bill before saying to Song Yu, ¡°Hey, I¡¯m being serious. What if your parents end up accepting her if you just try? Someone who could make you like them ¡ª wouldn¡¯t they be the kind of treasure found only in the heavens?¡±


    ¡°True love is very powerful. You should believe in fairy tales for once in your life, classmate Song Yu.¡±


    He stayed by himself in that cold and deserted cafe for a very long time, thinking.


    In the few days after, Song Yu submitted his application to change his graduation thesis topic three times, only for them to all be turned down. He was swamped with needing to submit all different kinds of data every day, needing to run back and forth among different offices, and yet he still wasn¡¯t able to get the answer he wanted.


    When he¡¯d first been guaranteed a spot in the postgraduate program, Song Yu had already looked for Professor He, who was in charge of the research area he liked. But the professor had been too busy ¡ª Song Yu had waited for him outside his office for several days in row. He¡¯d only bumped into him the last day he¡¯d gone, and Professor He had been very surprised to see him.


    ¡°I know you.¡± Professor He had hesitated. ¡°You¡¯re very famous. Why are you thinking of coming to me?¡±


    Song Yu had talked to him for a long time, and old Professor He had finally agreed, patting his shoulder. ¡°Young fellow, our research area here is the most tiring, most bitter kind ¡ª it¡¯s also really dangerous. It¡¯s completely only to serve the people.¡±


    ¡°I know.¡±


    ¡°Fine, I can see you¡¯ve already decided. Come over once you¡¯ve graduated.¡±


    Thinking of what Professor He had said, Song Yu held onto his rejected application and knocked on Professor Zhang¡¯s office door.


    Professor Zhang looked at ease, inviting Song Yu to sit down and chat, but Song Yu rejected his offer.


    ¡°Song Yu, I¡¯ve said this before. I have no problem with you changing research areas during your postgraduate studies. We can talk about it again when you start postgrad, there¡¯s no rush.¡± Professor Zhang poured a cup of tea and pushed it in front of Song Yu. ¡°But why do you want to change your graduation thesis topic now too? That¡¯s not common practice at all. Have you seen anyone else do so?¡±


    Song Yu looked at his eyes and said apathetically, ¡°Professor Zhang, I¡¯ve said before that I don¡¯t want to be forced into a direction by other people. When I first chose you for my research, you¡¯d hoped I would follow you for postgrad. I told you then that my future postgrad research would be in a different area, and you¡¯d said that was fine, no problem. But your later actions didn¡¯t follow what you¡¯d said. There should be boundaries between people. You¡¯ve done too much now, and have also interfered with too much.¡±


    ¡°Yes, I did say that, but Song Yu ¡ª you yourself know that your best future will be from following me. Your father agrees too; I¡¯ve discussed this with him for a long while, and he¡¯s also really satisfied with the future plans I¡¯ve created for you¡­¡±


    ¡°Professor Zhang,¡± Song Yu interrupted him, ¡°my father is different from you. He might¡¯ve been convinced by what you said, but he will respect my interest. Also¡­¡±


    ¡°There is no possibility between your daughter and me. Please respect me, and please respect her.¡±


    ¡°All of that is stuff to be talked about later, Song Yu.¡± Professor Zhang crossed his arms. ¡°You¡¯ve already almost finished the first draft of your thesis, and your research results are also ready to be used. Even if I let you be the first person to change your thesis like this, would you still be able to successfully graduate? Do you not want your previous work anymore? Child, be realistic. You still have a very long road ahead of you.¡±


    Song Yu finished listening and then laughed. ¡°Professor Zhang, I don¡¯t want it anymore. If you¡¯re willing to let me change, I¡¯ll be grateful. If you¡¯re not willing, I can apply for an extension.¡±


    ¡°Your postgraduate spot¡¯s already confirmed and yet you¡¯re talking about an extension? Song Yu, is there something wrong with you?¡±


    ¡°I can take the entrance exams again. Based on my abilities, there¡¯s no way I won¡¯t be able to get in. Just like you said ¡ª I still have a very long road ahead of me.¡± The expression of Song Yu¡¯s face was transparent yet cold. ¡°Why is why I will not be controlled by other people. I will only walk the road I choose.¡±


    He then turned around and left the office, tearing apart and throwing that rejected application into the bin.


    As he walked downstairs, he received messages from his mother ¡ª many of them.


    [Ms Lin: Xiao Yu, let mom borrow the computer in your room! I need to urgently edit a menu, but I can¡¯t use photoshop on my laptop anymore.]


    Song Yu sent her his password as he continued walking.


    [Xiao Yu: Remember to turn it off for me.]


    In order to prevent seeing Zhang Siyun again, Song Yu moved out of the research lab. Very fortunately, on the day he was moving things out, Professor He saw him; he was on the same floor, and he allowed Song Yu to follow him into his research lab with his boxes.


    ¡°You can sit there.¡± Opening the door to the research lab, Professor He pointed at an empty spot. ¡°Your senior brother¡¯s gone to an internship and won¡¯t be back until graduation.¡± He patted Song Yu¡¯s shoulder. ¡°Young man, work hard. There¡¯s nothing that can¡¯t be overcome.¡±


    Later, Professor He left, and Song Yu placed his boxes onto the desk. The senior brother next to him swivelled his chair around to him and said, ¡°Junior brother, are you coming to our group?¡±


    ¡°I hope I can,¡± Song Yu briefly said.


    His phone rang again; it was still messages from Lin Rong.


    [Ms Lin: So strange, why can¡¯t I find where your photoshop saves files?]


    [Ms Lin: Heavens, I wouldn¡¯t have lost all of my work, would I?]


    [Xiao Yu: You¡¯ll be able to find it if you just search around. There are only so many folders in the computer.]


    ¡°We all know about your fall out with Old Zhang. What a terrible person, what kind of person would use his power to pressure a student?¡± The senior shook his head. ¡°Even Old He¡¯s heard about it. So awkward.¡±


    Another senior sister laughed as she said, ¡°What¡¯s so awkward for Old He? He was even laughing the other day in his office, saying if he¡¯d known earlier that such a popular student liked him so much, he would¡¯ve gone and agreed to take the student for his graduation thesis. But he was too busy and ended up missing out on a treasure.¡±


    ¡°Old He¡¯s just like a old naughty child. He¡¯s not afraid of Old Zhang.¡± The senior brother clicked the ballpoint pen in his hand. ¡°Good luck, junior brother.¡±


    Song Yu thought, if he really did end up pushing back his graduation, it¡¯d be fine as long as he could still test in. There was no difference in coming in a year earlier or a year later.


    As he left the classroom building, Song Yu wanted to give Yue Zhishi a call, but a call came through first from Nan Jia. He hesitated for a bit before picking it up.


    ¡°Is something the matter?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± Nan Jia said over the phone, ¡°I¡¯ll be succinct. Are you and Le Le arguing? Why did I see him at the hospital to get checked out by himself? I don¡¯t know what happened, it¡¯s also possible that he just didn¡¯t want you to worry. I just saw him at the register on the first floor when I went to get my meds. I wanted to stay with him, but then I thought, he should be needing you more right now.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re welcome. You should hurry.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t know how he actually drove to the university hospital ¡ª it felt like his brain was an utter mess. There had been too, too many ¡®last straws¡¯ pressing down on him lately; he honestly couldn¡¯t count nor distinguish them apart anymore.


    But there was no way he could¡¯ve thought that Yue Zhishi would sneak away to the hospital by himself instead of choosing to rely on him.


    The hospital was filled with people as it always was, chaotic and messy, and the pale white lighting fell onto many sorrowful and worried faces. The disinfectant solution violently crushed all the complicated smells together and sent the mixture directly into noses, making people uncomfortable. Struggling to maintain his calm exterior, Song Yu searched through each full injection room before finally seeing him at the end of the corridor.


    Yue Zhishi was wearing a thick, cotton-padded jacket in black, and he was sitting on the bench in the corridor; Song Yu¡¯s checkered grey scarf was around his neck, and a black woollen cap was on his head. His entire face, ghostly pale, was sunken in, and his eyes were wide as he stared at the phone held horizontally in his hands.


    An IV pole was next to him with only a small bit remaining of the drip. The veins on the back of his lowered hand were sticking out, a needle poked into one of them, but Yue Zhishi had no expression on his face. He looked very docile, not crying nor making a fuss.


    For a moment, Song Yu¡¯s emotions surged; there was a slight burning in his eyes. He walked towards Yue Zhishi and then crouched down halfway in front of him.


    There was a tiny freeze in Yue Zhishi¡¯s movements, those large pale-coloured eyes gazing at Song Yu blankly. His dark brown eyelashes trembled; at last, he let go of the phone in his hand and lifted it to touch Song Yu¡¯s forehead.


    Only then did he say, ¡°How are you here?¡±


    Song Yu couldn¡¯t say a single harsh word now that he was in front of Yue Zhishi. He caught Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand, not really caring that this was the university hospital and someone they¡¯d know might show up ¡ª he held his hand, and kissed the back of it.


    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you tell me you were sick?¡± Song Yu looked at him, his voice very soft. ¡°Do you have a fever?¡±


    ¡°A low one, 38 degrees.¡± Yue Zhishi gave Song Yu a smile and pulled him up, not wanting him to keep crouching. ¡°You¡¯re so busy. I can come by myself.¡±


    In the corridor filled with people passing by, Song Yu reached out and pulled Yue Zhishi into his arms.


    ¡°People aren¡¯t allowed to see the doctor by themselves when they¡¯re sick.¡±


    Yue Zhishi had initially felt a bit uncomfortable at how openly they were touching within the university hospital, but after hearing the words come out of Song Yu¡¯s mouth with such certainty, he wanted to laugh. ¡°There¡¯s no such rule as that.¡±


    ¡°We have that rule in our family.¡± Song Yu stroked his face and then added, ¡°Our future family.¡±


    Yue Zhishi wanted to say when did we ever have a family, but he felt like it would be too hurtful ¡ª and so he raised his head and looked at the drip.


    ¡°I think it¡¯s finished.¡± He patted Song Yu and reached out to pull out the needle himself, but Song Yu stopped him.


    Song Yu said, ¡°You can¡¯t pull it out yourself, have you gone dumb? You also don¡¯t have any cotton for the blood.¡± But very quickly, his voice gentled. ¡°Be good, I¡¯ll go call a nurse.¡±


    Seeing Song Yu¡¯s receding figure, Yue Zhishi felt the entire last few moments hadn¡¯t been quite real. He nudged the needle ¡ª it hurt.


    He thought of how dizzily he¡¯d left his self-study classroom, lining up at the hospital and then paying his fees; he¡¯d even taken the wrong medicine script and had been scolded by the dispensing doctor. The injection rooms has been full of people, and so he had only been able to sit in the windy, cigarette smoke-filled corridor with his drip.


    After two hours, Yue Zhishi finally thought his suffering was about to end. It was a large step forward in his personal life, but at the final moment, as everything was about to come to a close, Song Yu still ended up appearing.


    Yue Zhishi really wanted to learn how Song Yu had mastered the ability of being to find him no matter when and where he was. Perhaps if he could learn it too, then maybe one day, during Song Yu¡¯s most painful moments, he wouldn¡¯t appear so slowly.


    A nurse took out the needle as he was lost in his thoughts and even told him very gently that he needed to come tomorrow, too. Yue Zhishi thanked her. Song Yu grabbed his hand, pressing a piece of cotton onto it for him, and pulled him outside with their hands linked together. He took him back to the apartment.


    As he drove, he told Yue Zhishi the good news about Professor He actively letting him into his research lab. Yue Zhishi was very happy, and he kissed him a good few times during red lights.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t mention anything else.


    Once back at the apartment, Song Yu turned on the aircon and left it on high, urging Yue Zhishi to take his meds and rest. Yue Zhishi obediently took off his outside clothes and crawled into bed before he suddenly remembered something ¡ª he pulled out a chocolate wafer bar from his jacket, putting it on top of the bedside table.


    ¡°Let¡¯s check your temperature again.¡± Holding onto the thermometer, Song Yu sat onto the side of the bed and handed it to Yue Zhishi. He looked at the bar as he did so.


    ¡°I¡¯ll give it to you since I can¡¯t eat it anyway. I think the inside is made of flour.¡±


    ¡°Where¡¯d it come from?¡± Song Yu grabbed the bar and gave it a look before putting it back down. ¡°Someone gave you candy again?¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded. ¡°There was originally another four year old boy on the bench where I was sitting. He gave it to me.¡± A cute look appeared on his face, and his eyes glowed as he described to Song Yu, ¡°He looked a bit like you. His hair was so black, and so were his eyes. He was a very good-looking child. Plus he was particularly hard to get along with.¡±


    Song Yu gave him a perplexed look, but Yue Zhishi continued, holding onto his arm. He even imitated the boy as he repeated his words. ¡°The kid said, you¡¯re so strange-looking, why are your eyes like that? His mom told him off, saying he didn¡¯t have any manners, and then he apologised to me really stiffly. He took out a piece of candy from his pocket and gave it to me. He said, this candy¡¯s not nice, I don¡¯t like it. You can have it.¡±


    Yue Zhishi started to laugh. ¡°His mom later told me it was his favourite candy, and he¡¯d never given it away before.¡±


    And then, he looked at Song Yu. ¡°Isn¡¯t that really similar to you?¡±


    Song Yu looked entirely reluctant to admit it.


    ¡°I wondered then if you were as adorable as that when you were four.¡± The smile on Yue Zhishi¡¯s face slowly faded away, his eyes losing focus. ¡°Gege, you probably really like children, right?¡±


    Song Yu frowned. ¡°Why are you asking?¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice came lightly. ¡°Because you keep talking about me having a baby.¡±


    The lights in the room were very warm, and it made even the fine hair on Yue Zhishi¡¯s fair face look soft. He spoke softly, voice drifting, ¡°You know that, right ¡ª no matter how many times we have sex, we¡¯ll never have a child.¡±


    There were some things that could never come to pass, just like how there were some candies Yue Zhishi could never eat.


    Song Yu¡¯s heart felt like it¡¯d been brutally yanked by that one sentence.


    ¡°I was teasing you.¡±


    If he¡¯d known that these things would happen, that there was a possibility of him being forced to marry and create a family, Song Yu definitely wouldn¡¯t have chosen such a poor joke that could give Yue Zhishi pain.


    It was just that he¡¯d been too happy. Every minute, every second that he¡¯d been with Yue Zhishi, he¡¯d felt so happy, so free. He¡¯d never been able to find those feelings from anyone or anything else. The joy felt a bit foreign to Song Yu; it was why he had been so unsure about what to do after he managed to grab hold of it, only able to move slowly, cautiously; it was why he¡¯d said some absurd and laughable things to amuse his own lover ¡ª in front of Yue Zhishi, he¡¯d turned into an immature child.


    ¡°I don¡¯t like kids at all. They¡¯re noisy, always crying and making a fuss, and they take up too much energy.¡± Song Yu truthfully confessed, ¡°I know we won¡¯t have any, which was why I dared to joke about it. To be honest, to me, the significance of having a child is simply obtaining another identity. Such as ¡®your child¡¯s father¡¯, or ¡®your partner¡¯. Wouldn¡¯t it be harder for you to leave me the more identities based on love and duty we have between us?¡±


    ¡°But it¡¯d be best if we don¡¯t have any.¡± Song Yu even said somewhat spitefully, ¡°I don¡¯t want anyone to take away the feelings that belong to me. If you have a baby, you¡¯ll definitely put all your focus on them. I don¡¯t want a child. In our family, we only need two people ¡ª you and me.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was a bit surprised; he didn¡¯t think Song Yu would answer him like this.


    He dubiously asked, ¡°You really don¡¯t like babies?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Song Yu leaned over, touching his lips to Yue Zhishi¡¯s forehead, and caressed his cheek.


    ¡°Besides, I already have a baobao. I want to take care of only him.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s nose suddenly started to burn. His heart hurt, but he didn¡¯t cry. Song Yu held him, soothed him to sleep, told him don¡¯t worry, don¡¯t be sad, he was with him no matter what.


    He said very tenderly that everything would get better soon ¡ª as soon as Yue Zhishi woke up, everything would¡¯ve gotten much better, they¡¯d feel much more relaxed than now, much freer.


    The flu medicine gradually started to work, and Yue Zhishi started to feel woozy; he fell asleep in those secure arms.


    He didn¡¯t know how long he¡¯d slept for, abruptly feeling his heart twist in his dreams. Yue Zhishi blinked open his eyes, and he uneasily called out Song Yu¡¯s name. He could only see the medicine and the milk candy he could eat on the bedside table. There was a note underneath them, and it said, [I¡¯ll be back very soon. I¡¯ll bring you back something delicious, wait for me to come home.]


    He stared at the note and then looked at the clock on the wall. It was already 11pm, and the anxious, uneasy feeling in his heart dragged at him. For some reason, he remembered Song Yu¡¯s actions in the hospital; he¡¯d not cared about other people¡¯s eyes. He remembered the words Song Yu had said as he¡¯d soothed him to sleep, and it felt like he faintly, indistinctly, found multiple clues.


    Yue Zhishi grabbed his phone and gave Song Yu a call. No one picked up. He calmed down and called Lin Rong.


    Once again, no one picked up.


    His thoughts having been verified, Yue Zhishi ran downstairs. He couldn¡¯t find Song Yu¡¯s car, so he immediately took a taxi and returned back to the Song family¡¯s home.


    He ran to the elevator, frantically waiting for the doors to open; his hands were trembling as the doors opened. In that moment, he realised he was wearing cotton slippers ¡ª the fever plaster was still on his forehead, and he looked very muddled, very panicked.


    After taking two seconds to collect himself, he opened the door and heard Father Song¡¯s voice. Ever since he¡¯d arrived at Song Yu¡¯s home at three years old, this was the first time Yue Zhishi had heard Song Jin so angry ¡ª he might not have sounded irrational, but his voice had lost all of its previous gentleness.


    ¡°Song Yu, as a father, I¡¯ve never asked for anything from you. I¡¯ve never held you back from anything you wanted to learn, and that includes the day you said you wanted to change research directions. You said you wanted to research natural disaster emergency mapping, and even though I really wasn¡¯t willing to let you do it, did I say a single thing to you? Have you ever considered that after all these years, I would still have nightmares at night and think about your Uncle Yue after seeing people dying from disasters on the news?¡±


    His voice was shaking. ¡°You said you wanted to do something so dangerous because emergency mapping relief could mean there¡¯ll be less children like Le Le in the world. After you said something like that, no matter how fearful or unwilling my heart was, I still agreed and let you do what you wanted.¡±


    Yue Zhishi froze in place after hearing those words.


    Song Yu had never told him.


    ¡°But you? What have you done? I brought back your Uncle Yue¡¯s only remaining flesh and blood and hoped for him to grow up well. I didn¡¯t bring him back for you to pull him onto such a path and have him suffer! When I die in the future, how can I face your uncle in the afterlife?¡±


    ¡°Song Jin, since Xiao Yu came back and told us himself, that means he¡¯s already considered it¡­¡±


    Yue Zhishi heard Lin Rong¡¯s voice; it sounded faintly tearful, and suddenly, his heart felt very painful.


    ¡°Considered it? He¡¯s admitting that he likes men. If it weren¡¯t for you accidentally seeing that letter, would he have come out and told you the person he¡¯s dating is Yue Zhishi?¡±


    Lin Rong held back her tears, saying, ¡°Then what would you have your son do? Of course he wouldn¡¯t want things to be like this ¡ª do you really think Xiao Yu is someone who would purposefully influence Le Le? Wasn¡¯t that letter already clear enough? Xiao Yu, he¡­ he never wanted anything.¡±


    Song Jin fell silent for a few seconds.


    To Yue Zhishi, those seconds passed as though they were years.


    ¡°Song Yu, you say you like men. There are so many men in this world, so why does it have to be Le Le? He grew up with you, almost exactly like real brothers ¡ª don¡¯t you think that¡¯s strange?¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s voice finally appeared. ¡°To be honest, I don¡¯t like men. I only like Yue Zhishi. Yes, there are so many people in the world, and yes, to fall in love with the little brother I grew up with ¡ª I did find it strange and abnormal. Dad, do you think I didn¡¯t suffer?¡±


    After a long time, only then did Song Jin open his mouth. The emotions in his voice had changed.


    ¡°Of course you can say you like Le Le now, that you will accept no one else but him. But what about later? Nowadays, young people break up so easily. What if one day your heart changes and you break up with him and want to be together with someone else? Song Yu, what would you have Yue Zhishi do then? Would he still be able to continue living with us? How would other people look at him ¡ª how would they talk about him?¡±


    ¡°He lost his family at three years old. If a day like that really happened, the two of you wouldn¡¯t be able to go back to being brothers. Do you want him to once again taste how it feels to no longer have a family? Xiao Yu, the path you¡¯re walking on is a path of no return!¡±


    ¡°I know.¡± Firmly and unwavering, Song Yu said, ¡°I¡¯ve never thought about turning back.¡±


    Yue Zhishi stepped forward, walking from the entrance to the living room. It was only a few short metres, yet every step was so difficult.


    He finally needed to peel away the protective shell of darkness and reveal his true self underneath the light.


    It was as though Lin Rong¡¯s voice was right next to his ear. ¡°Xiao Yu, you¡¯ve never thought about turning back, but what about the other way around?¡±


    If one day, Yue Zhishi wanted to be with someone else.


    ¡°Other way around¡­¡± Song Yu chuckled bleakly. ¡°Yue Zhishi can turn back whenever he wants, I¡¯m willing to let him go. But as long as he doesn¡¯t want to leave me, I will definitely not let go.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to leave him.¡±


    Yue Zhishi walked out of the entrance corridor, the blinding living room lights falling on his body.


    The arguing parents looked at him, but Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes landed onto that printed piece of paper on the floor. He bent over, picking it up.


    [To a certain someone who¡¯ll appear in the future:


    I don¡¯t really want to say hello. I don¡¯t even really want you to appear. But I know a day like this will come, and in order for you to take better care of Yue Zhishi, to prevent any danger from happening at the beginning of your relationship, I¡¯ve prepared this ahead of time. I¡¯ve written this ¡®Manual to Dating Yue Zhishi¡¯ ¡ª please read it carefully.


    Firstly, Yue Zhishi suffers from a very severe wheat allergy. Obviously, he has no fate with anything that has to do with wheat. I hope you won¡¯t let him eat cake just because he asks (he¡¯s very good at whining). Even just the smallest bit could take away his life. His allergy symptoms are extremely dangerous. In mild cases, he¡¯ll get rashes and diarrhoea. In severe cases, his asthma will flare up.


    This is the second thing I need to tell you. You have to carry his medicine with you at all times, and it¡¯d be best if you could master how to give emergency first aid for asthma. It¡¯s not hard ¡ª if you need, I can send you the videos I used to learn. They¡¯re very useful. Please make sure you appear by his side when he needs you.


    His parents passed away a long time ago. I hope you won¡¯t bring them up too often. Even though he doesn¡¯t say so, but he really cares about that (and don¡¯t take him to watch too many movies about families, his head will hurt if he cries too much).


    Also, he¡¯s really scared of thunder, he¡¯s been like that since the first day he came to my family. Please don¡¯t laugh when you see this ¡ª don¡¯t look down on being scared of thunder. He really is afraid, and you have to respect his fear. Overcoming it is actually very simple. You only need to cover one ear for him and sleep next to him at night, it¡¯s fine even if you don¡¯t hold him (of course, you can hug and kiss him, you¡¯re not me).


    Yue Zhishi really loves sweets and small animals. For breakfast, he likes eating soup buns (you need to eat the skin) and rice noodles. He¡¯s obsessed with anime, please don¡¯t question his hobby. And he¡¯s also really good at drawing and making things by hand ¡ª please treasure his work and don¡¯t carelessly leave them around. He¡¯ll be hurt if he sees. If he gives you stickers that could be used on anything, I sincerely hope you won¡¯t misuse them.


    Even though all the things above might make you want to retreat, you¡¯re actually really lucky. Yue Zhishi is the world¡¯s kindest, gentlest child. He won¡¯t ask you for too many things, and he doesn¡¯t have a temper either. He actually finds it very hard to reject other people, so I hope you can teach him how to say no ¡ª I also hope you can tolerate his dietary restrictions and can forgive his small temper tantrums when he¡¯s sick (he¡¯s actually really cute when he starts fussing).


    I ended up writing a lot despite getting rid of a lot of things. If I think of anything new, I¡¯ll add it in. You might think I¡¯m overstepping my boundaries, that I have no right to say anything of this. But if I could¡¯ve received a letter like this when I was six years old, before meeting him, I would¡¯ve been very grateful.


    Please treat him well. Don¡¯t let Yue Zhishi cry; he really likes crying. If you find him annoying, please send him back or contact me immediately to take him back home. Please don¡¯t leave him by himself.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s older brother, Song Yu]


    What Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t see was ¡ª the document was named [5201010 (manual, draft 4)], saved five years ago.

 CH 90

    Chapter 90: Ineffective Desensitisation


    The moment he decided to come out to his parents, Song Yu was calmer and more relaxed than he¡¯d imagined himself being.


    He contacted Song Jin and Lin Rong, telling them he had something important to talk to them about, and asked if they would be home that night. They answered, yes.


    After driving home, it was Lin Rong who opened the door. Her eyes were red and teary, looking as if she¡¯d just cried. A bad feeling grew in Song Yu¡¯s heart, but Lin Rong didn¡¯t say anything.


    ¡°Xiao Yu, you¡¯re back.¡±


    Song Jin was sitting on the sofa and didn¡¯t look at him, only asking why he was coming over so late.


    Song Yu first clearly and orderly stated his plans for changing his graduation thesis topic. He was met with Song Jin¡¯s questioning. Song Jin said, ¡°Even if Professor Zhang agrees to you switching topics, it¡¯s already so late. The semester¡¯s about to finish ¡ª are you sure there are still professors who¡¯ll take you?¡±


    ¡°Which is why I can also push back my graduation. I¡¯ve had enough of Professor Zhang using my private life to pressure me and to block me from graduating. Even if I stay in his research group, as long as I don¡¯t agree with his decisions, he still won¡¯t let me successfully graduate. I may as well leave first.¡±


    Song Jin was silent for a very long time before saying quietly, ¡°If you really aren¡¯t interested in Ms Zhang, we won¡¯t force you.¡±


    ¡°Not only am I not interested in Ms Zhang, I am not interested in any future Ms Li or Ms Wang that may appear. I may never want to date any girl that everyone thinks is suitable.¡± Song Yu stood ramrod straight. ¡°Dad, Mom, even though you always say I¡¯ve never disappointed you, I actually can¡¯t fulfil the expectations of a son. It¡¯s just that I¡¯ve never been able to tell you.¡±


    ¡°I like men, and I already have someone I¡¯m dating.¡± Song Yu openly said, ¡°So I won¡¯t create a family with a girl. I can¡¯t lie to myself, and I can¡¯t deceive and hurt other people. I know your constant encouragement for me to date isn¡¯t because you really want me to continue the Song family bloodline; it¡¯s just that you think I¡¯m too lonely. But can you guys imagine how painful it would be for a girl to marry someone like me?¡±


    ¡°I won¡¯t do something like that, so please give up on those thoughts. Even if I have to live by myself in the future, I can still live very well.¡±


    Hearing his words, Lin Rong finally couldn¡¯t hold back anymore. She cried as she asked, ¡°Really? Do you really think like that?¡±


    Song Jin grabbed a paper from the sofa, throwing it to Song Yu. The paper, as thin as the edge of a blade, fluttered and swayed as it sliced through the heavy air. It finally landed next to Song Yu¡¯s legs.


    He lowered his eyes. Seeing the opening, he understood.


    Song Jin¡¯s voice was trembling, but Song Yu couldn¡¯t tell if it was because of anger or grief.


    ¡°Song Yu. Don¡¯t tell me that the person you¡¯re dating¡­ is your brother.¡±


    He¡¯d thought he wouldn¡¯t feel anything, but cutting open and giving his parents a look at his difficult past as it dripped with blood was truly even more unpleasant than he¡¯d imagined. He was very grateful for his father¡¯s teachings; it was what stopped him from saying things like ¡®don¡¯t you feel disgusted¡¯.


    ¡°Yes,¡± Song Yu said. ¡°It¡¯s Yue Zhishi. But he¡¯s not my brother. We have a normal relationship, it doesn¡¯t break any laws.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re boasting like that? Song Yu, what are you thinking? Other than not being related by blood to you, there¡¯s no difference between him and your real younger brother! You watched as I brought him back home!¡±


    Faced with rage, Song Yu¡¯s face prickled with pain. He told himself to not feel anything, to go numb, but he knew what he¡¯d said wasn¡¯t so easy to accept. In his parents¡¯ eyes, Yue Zhishi truly was no different from a true born son ¡ª and because he was the orphan of a close friend, they were even more protective of him. He had essentially stepped on his father¡¯s most inviolable bottom line.


    When he heard his father stand up, shaking, when he saw his father look at him with his eyebrows drawn and say, his voice angry yet weak, ¡°Song Yu, wake up¡±¡ª


    ¡ªthe tranquil look on Song Yu¡¯s face finally splintered.


    ¡°Dad, it¡¯s been so many years. Have I not been sober enough?¡±


    Had the manual, hidden in his computer, really been written for Yue Zhishi¡¯s future partner?


    It hadn¡¯t been. It was simply a warning Song Yu had written to himself during his most lost, most desperate times ¡ª a reminder to himself that someone was definitely going to appear next by Yue Zhishi¡¯s side in the future, a reminder that he needed to remember his status and his boundaries. No matter how well he wrote it, the signature at the end could only be [Yue Zhishi¡¯s older brother].


    And that person in the future didn¡¯t actually need a ¡®dating manual¡¯; as long as they obtained Yue Zhishi¡¯s love, it would be enough.


    ¡°How many times do you think I¡¯ve edited that letter?¡± Song Yu calmly said, ¡°I have eleven drafts.¡±


    He did his best to control his emotions so that he could appear more composed; after all, it was already in the past.


    ¡°Whenever I thought I couldn¡¯t endure anymore, I would see Yue Zhishi and think, I like him so much ¡ª why can¡¯t it be me? Every time that happened, I wouldn¡¯t be able to sleep. I¡¯d open that document and edit it, deleting some lines that couldn¡¯t ¡ª and shouldn¡¯t ¡ª be left in there. I¡¯d try my best to make sure that letter would look more like it came from a normal older brother. And then I¡¯d tell myself: this is what I should be doing. All of those feelings were like useless drafts; they shouldn¡¯t exist.¡±


    A rueful smile hung on his wan face, and he looked towards his parents.


    ¡°You should have looked for all of them and printed them out. You should¡¯ve read it from the first draft to the eleventh ¡ª what a magnificent sight that would¡¯ve been.¡±


    ¡°After reading through all of them, you would¡¯ve thought ¡ª wow, Song Yu¡¯s so noble.¡±


    The manual filled with various warnings lay soundlessly on the cold floor, colourlessly bearing the weight of Song Yu five years ago after he¡¯d amended his words once again. He¡¯d changed the words that had left a younger him with a face full of tears and a heart full of pain; he¡¯d deleted the hostility he¡¯d felt towards Yue Zhishi¡¯s future partner and the entrustment that had crossed boundaries ¡ª all just so he could learn how to calmly accept the appearance of a him or a her.


    Over many sleepless nights, he¡¯d learned how to say at the letter¡¯s beginning: Hello, I¡¯m very glad to see you. He¡¯d learned how to gift at the ending: May the two of you be happy for a very long time.


    And then, as he edited the letter again and again, he¡¯d learned how to slowly accept the signature at the very end.


    The printed lines looked the same as Song Yu himself: neat and orderly, calm and free from any emotions. It gave that youthfully ignorant him from the past the dignified and mature shell an adult should have. But all the many Song Yus of all those years passed ¡ª they all seemed to stand here at this moment, staying with him as he weathered through this explosion.


    And Yue Zhishi, who¡¯d existed in every single draft yet had never been allowed the reading list, was also stunned where he stood. The quarrelling and arguing that had stopped him from moving seemed to be hammering heavily onto his chest, but the letter was the true dagger. It was too sharp, which was why it didn¡¯t hurt the moment it slid in; it was only when he realised, too late, that he felt the piercing pain boring into his heart.


    Large drops of tears splattered on top, almost enough to blotch those cold and detached printed words; he wanted to peel away the fragile soul hidden within the paper and let him be free.


    ¡°Le Le, what¡¯s wrong?¡± Lin Rong messily wiped away her tears and stood up, looking at him. ¡°Why did you come over like this? Are you sick?¡±


    Hearing those words, Yue Zhishi felt even more pain.


    He struggled to hold himself back from shaking. He composed himself a bit, and then he lowered the hand holding that piece of paper and also rubbed off the tears on his face. He looked at them.


    ¡°Uncle Song, Aunt Rong. I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought, if he knelt down right now, it might seem more like a kind of coercion ¡ª and so he gave them a very deep, very formal bow.


    ¡°I¡¯m not saying I¡¯m sorry to express my apologies. I¡¯m saying it because I truly have let you guys down. I¡¯ve failed to live up to the love and care you¡¯ve given me since childhood. Aunt Rong, do you remember last time when you came to university to visit me because I was sick? It was then. I confessed to Song Yu using my sickness as my excuse.¡±


    He closed his eyes and then opened them again, each word and sentence leaving his mouth full of certainty. ¡°So this entire matter belongs to me. I started it. If you really want to say there was someone influencing the other, then I was the one who influenced everything Song Yu did. In this relationship, Song Yu has actually been the passive one.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes were red, his lips free of any colour, but his eyes were very bright, steadfast and calm. ¡°I¡¯ve had a very strong separation anxiety towards Song Yu since I was a child. I¡¯d get so anxious to the point it was no longer normal, which was why I did so many improper things growing up. Such as forcing him to sleep on the same bed as me, wanting to hold hands with him, wanting to hold him; even wanting to kiss him back when he was still just my brother. I gave him my so-called confession when I was suffering from a fever and was crying in pain. Tell me ¡ª during a situation like that, how could Song Yu have rejected me?¡±


    He pulled all of the responsibility onto himself. The cause was him, the source was also him; Song Yu had nothing to do with anything.


    ¡°Because Song Yu used to keep wanting to keep his distance from me, to stay away from me, my requests towards him are actually slightly pathological.¡±


    As he spoke, he unexpectedly smiled. ¡°Just like an allergy. Doctors say you can¡¯t eat this and you can¡¯t eat that because you¡¯re allergic, you might die if you eat them. Fine, I won¡¯t touch them. Even though I¡¯ve been very obedient the last ten-plus years, sometimes, I actually particularly wanted to eat them. And now that I want to be together with someone, I can¡¯t do that either. I¡¯m almost about to go crazy from wanting to stay by his side.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t understand. Liking someone clearly doesn¡¯t make me allergic, but why are there still so many adverse reactions?¡±


    ¡°When I realised I liked him, I really did suffer. I completely couldn¡¯t think about how I should act if Song Yu one day got together with someone else. But once Song Yu and I became a couple, I was tormented again. I didn¡¯t dare come back to see you, didn¡¯t dare to give you a phone call. Someone like me would be a burden no matter which family I was in ¡ª I was so hard to take care of, and yet I¡¯m still so selfish. You¡¯ve raised me like your own son, and yet I¡¯ve done something like this.¡±


    His hands unconsciously clenched, the paper wrinkling from his grasp.


    Neither Song Jin and Lin Rong could speak as they watched their perpetually smiling younger son say those words through gritted teeth.


    ¡°I¡¯ve actually thought about it before.¡± Yue Zhishi just barely managed to give them a smile, using a relatively relaxed voice to tell them what he¡¯d previously planned. ¡°At the beginning, I thought Song Yu was forced to agree to my confession, so I thought ¡ª I needed to really, really treasure this period of time with him. And then, when¡­ when he one day has had enough, I would leave this family. I¡¯d go to a place where no one knows me and do my best to earn money. And then I¡¯d sneakily transfer the money to the family¡¯s bank cards.¡±


    Lowering his head, Yue Zhishi groped out his phone in a bit of a panic. He searched through it, his words starting to grow messy. ¡°I, I¡¯ve calculated it before, all¡­ all the money I¡¯ve spent since I was a child. But, but I only started to record it down during third year of junior high. I could only find a general estimate online for the expenses for the years before, but I¡¯ve recorded down all the years after. I, I wanted to multiply that sum several times over and then, once I started to earn money, I¡¯d leave enough for myself to eat and rent a place. Everything else I would send back. Of course, I wouldn¡¯t be able to fully repay all you¡¯ve given me, and I wouldn¡¯t be able to make up for wasting your feelings. But it¡¯s always better to try than to not try at all.¡±


    Song Jin sat back on the sofa in a daze after hearing these words. He mutely shook his head.


    But Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t stop; he pulled out the plan in his phone and lifted it high for them to see as though he was discussing a joyful family holiday trip. ¡°I¡¯ve looked at many suitable places for me to stay ¡ª I have places both inside and outside the country, and I have their house prices, their costs of living, as well as how much it would cost to rent a place to live. I¡¯ve already made plans for all of these things.¡±


    ¡°Look, I actually planned it out well, haven¡¯t I? A place like Yunnan would be very nice; Yunnan¡¯s really pretty and is really far away from here. I feel like it¡¯d be a good place to hide myself away. When I¡¯m there, I could rent a small house and raise a cat. Or maybe I¡¯d stay at one place for a period of time and then keep moving around like a secret agent. It¡¯d be so cool, but I might earn less that way, it wouldn¡¯t be enough to pay you back¡­¡±


    The small dog wandering on the street might not actually be a stray dog. The world was so large, he could take any place for home.


    It was only after he¡¯d been warmly raised and then had lost that home that he would become a true stray.


    Every single word and every single sentence that left Yue Zhishi¡¯s mouth stabbed onto the hearts of the two parents. Neither one had thought that within this wonderful and peaceful home, both of their children had been living underneath the weight of a burden that could collapse at any given moment.


    What they couldn¡¯t have imagined even more was that Yue Zhishi had been calculating the burden he¡¯d brought onto this family every day, hoping there would be a day he could clear away his debt.


    Lin Rong finally couldn¡¯t keep listening anymore, interrupting him with her face covered with tears. ¡°Le Le! You¡­ How could you think like that?¡±


    Yue Zhishi breathed and breathed; he wanted to smile, but it felt like he cried when he eventually smiled.


    ¡°Because I don¡¯t want to see Song Yu with someone else.¡±


    ¡°Aunt Rong, I really do particularly love him.¡± Yue Zhishi stubbornly held back his tears, worried they¡¯d continue rolling down and make him look not sincere or steadfast enough. ¡°And it was only after we got together that I understood Song Yu really loves me as well ¡ª he can¡¯t be without me. Did you know? Sometimes when he¡¯s by himself, he can¡¯t fall asleep at all. He¡¯ll eat so many tablets as though he was sick. I¡¯m so afraid.¡±


    He murmured, ¡°I¡¯m truly really afraid,¡± and kept repeating again and again the two words of ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    ¡°Uncle, Aunt Rong, I know I¡¯ve committed something really wrong. I really do. But if he could be even the slightest bit happier when he sees me, then I don¡¯t mind not dating as long as I can stay by his side. I don¡¯t care at all about what other people say about me or how they look at me; I¡¯m actually not even afraid of being thrown away. To you, a trust like that might seem very blind, but the only thing I¡¯m afraid of is Song Yu not living well. Of him not being healthy and not being happy.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s mouth and fingers were trembling. He lowered his head, a bit upset about how he hadn¡¯t been able to control his own emotions. He must¡¯ve looked so vulnerable.


    ¡°Honestly ¡ª there are so many good cities in this world, but I have nowhere to go.¡±


    ¡°I only want to stay by Song Yu¡¯s side.¡±

 CH 91

    Chapter 91: A Blade of Grass, The Sun of Spring


    Or, also known as: It is immeasurably difficult to repay the love, care and devotion given to you from your parents.


    As a child, Yue Zhishi had once seen a piece of news. It reported an orphan who¡¯d lost his parents after a disaster, and words such as ¡®good samaritans from all walks of life¡¯, ¡®charity¡¯ and ¡®deeds done from the heart¡¯ kept being said, again and again.


    At that time, he¡¯d been docilely sitting in front of the television, and yet he¡¯d thought, I¡¯m so similar to him.


    The choice of wording in that piece of news seemed to etch into his heart. Every time he saw anything similar, Yue Zhishi would compare himself to the people within, and then silently whisper in his heart, I¡¯m so lucky.


    Later, he couldn¡¯t help but deem every person who treated him well as a ¡®good samaritan¡¯. He treated the love and care everyone gave him as ¡®charity¡¯, and then did his best to return the heart others had given him. All of those behaviours had already long been carved into his bones and had become part of him, unable to be cut away.


    But within the multitude of so many kind people, the two people Yue Zhishi wanted to repay the most, yet was most unable to repay, were the Song parents.


    As he hoped to always be able to offer them happiness and warmth, he also gave them irreversible harm because of his selfish love. The two conflicting desires pushed and pulled at each other, dragging at him until he was almost torn apart.


    Standing in the living room, Yue Zhishi thought with remorse and anger that he must¡¯ve definitely come across very badly. His illness and panic had thrown his thoughts into chaos, to the point even he himself didn¡¯t know what he was saying.


    He clearly could¡¯ve been steadier. He clearly could¡¯ve not cried.


    This living room, to them, was way too familiar. The phantom ghosts of happiness seemed to remain in every single corner. Yue Zhishi and Song Yu sitting in front of their parents¡¯ knees when they were children, building lego blocks; the four of them sitting in front of the television together, fighting to watch different shows; them cuddling up together under the same extra large woollen blanket during winter ¡ª as well as the uncountable amount of times they¡¯d eaten late night snacks, together.


    Within that same space, they were now separated. Those closely knit together hearts had been divided by cold air, and every single one of them was silent from grief, each second passing as though they were years.


    He didn¡¯t know how much time had passed. Feeling as though he was hearing things, Yue Zhishi heard Song Jin speak, his voice laboured and hoarse.


    ¡°It was all my fault.¡±


    She¡¯d only heard that one sentence, and yet Lin Rong was already choking with sobs.


    ¡°It¡¯s not.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart stung. ¡°Uncle Song¡­¡±


    Song Jin sat on the sofa, the sight of his back looking as though he¡¯d aged ten years. ¡°I busied myself earning money everyday, hoping for you guys to be able to have a more plentiful life without any burdens. Whenever I came home, I just wanted to spend time with you, to chat. I wanted to be a satisfactory parent, because we actually carry the hopes of two families on our shoulders. I didn¡¯t expect to not actually understand the two children I¡¯ve raised after passing so many years. Sometimes I¡¯d look at the two of you and think, not bad. I didn¡¯t have a single regret in this life, with both of my children so outstanding, such good people. I was particularly proud of myself, to the point where I thought that I could¡­ could stand a bit straighter when I went to see Yue Yi again.¡±


    His voice was slightly shaky, his eyes blank as he gazed at the black television screen. It was as though Yue Yi was standing in front of him, as though he could slip an arm around his shoulders like he used to do in the past. ¡°I could say to him ¡ª look at how well I¡¯ve raised your son. I might¡¯ve raised him even better than you could¡¯ve done.¡±


    Song Jin shook his head. ¡°Good thing I was just dreaming. If he really found out I thought that way, he might find me particularly laughable.¡±


    His smile slowly disappeared. ¡°I¡­ Later, I kept thinking things didn¡¯t feel right. Why didn¡¯t Song Yu come home? Why was he always by himself? With his credentials, it wasn¡¯t like he couldn¡¯t find someone to be with him. He kept insisting he wouldn¡¯t date, and with his cold personality, I had nothing to say. And then, when Le Le started university and stopped coming home too, I became even more confused.¡±


    As she listened, Lin Rong covered her face with her hands.


    ¡°Do the two of you know? Xiao Rong and I, we look forward to you coming home every weekend. As soon as it¡¯s the weekend, she¡¯d cook and fill the table with food. And then it would just be the two of us, eating face to face and never able to finish all the food. We thought to ourselves, were we not good enough parents? Did we not care enough about you? So we did our best to care more, to plan and worry more for your future.¡±


    Song Yu lowered his head, his hands fisting.


    ¡°But the few times you guys came back, it looked like you were quite happy. I couldn¡¯t understand it no matter how hard I tried, so I could only tell myself that you¡¯ve grown up, that you have your own lives now. That it¡¯s all normal. Right?¡± He laughed at himself. ¡°Only just to have things turn out like this. Who would¡¯ve thought ¡ª my older son ended up liking my ¡®younger son¡¯. Even television dramas wouldn¡¯t dare to do show something like this.¡±


    He nodded to himself and then mumbled to himself, ¡°It¡¯s fine, it¡¯s better to know early on. It¡¯s better than being kept in the dark. I tried so hard to plan for you guys, but I see there¡¯s no need in the future. We won¡¯t have to waste other girls¡¯ time.¡±


    ¡°If I say now that I can accept you guys, then I¡¯d be lying. No one can accept their own children suddenly being together. Everyone around us knows that you¡¯re brothers ¡ª everyone calls you the two sons of the Song family. Now that you¡¯re together, if you walk outside holding hands, how awkward would it be? People would call you two brothers, and then how would you explain it? If you explain and then walk away, how would everyone talk about you behind your backs? These are all things you can¡¯t hide from.¡±


    They were not pleasant sounding words, but they were all said from the bottom of Song Jin¡¯s heart.


    ¡°I¡¯m old enough that I don¡¯t care. If they want to say our family¡¯s a mess, that all of this was from Xiao Rong and me, then I have no choice but to accept it. But you guys still have such long lives ahead of you¡­¡± He then sunk once again into a long, long silence, as though he¡¯d lost all of his strength.


    When he opened his mouth again, each word that came out sounded like they¡¯d been gouged and pulled out from his heart, bit by bit, by a dull knife.


    ¡°When you¡¯re walking on the streets, people might call you disgusting. You might be laughed at. No one would care¡­ no one would care how pure or how good your love is. Prejudiced people will look at you the same way they¡¯d look at mentally ill people.¡±


    ¡°Song Jin, don¡¯t talk anymore.¡± Lin Rong couldn¡¯t keep listening anymore. She went to sit next to him, half leaning on him, and embraced him.


    ¡°I want to say it.¡± Song Jin took a deep breath, resolution in his voice. ¡°You have to make sure they¡¯re clear about what they¡¯re doing. What I say now is nothing compared to what they have to face in the future. If they¡¯re faced with it later on and then regret what they¡¯ve done, thinking they can¡¯t endure it, then this family will truly break apart.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve already failed as a father. I don¡¯t want you guys to later have unsuccessful lives.¡± Song Jin stood up from the sofa, the sight of his back utterly exhausted. The man who¡¯d used to be able to carry Yue Zhishi as an toddler with one hand while carrying Song Yu as a child with another hand was now older ¡ª and yet he was sorrowfully pouring out the confusion and bewilderment he felt towards his two children, the uneasiness he felt towards their future.


    Song Yu thought ¡ª he made his father age ten years over the span of one night.


    ¡°I can see that you guys already want to walk down this path until its dark end. Fine, your lives are your own. No matter how much we want to help you, no matter how much we want to lead you towards the bright, wide roads, we¡¯ll just be wasting our time. Let¡¯s just leave it.¡±


    His words finished, Song Jin went around the sofa. He didn¡¯t look at Song Yu and didn¡¯t look at Yue Zhishi, heading towards the entrance to the house.


    Lin Rong turned around, anxiously calling out to him, ¡°Song Jin, where are you going?¡±


    He put on his coat, opened the door. The cold wind blew straight inside.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to buy a pack of cigarettes. My heart¡¯s scared. I¡¯ll come back after I¡¯ve had a smoke. If you guys want to head back to campus, go ahead. It¡¯s up to you.¡±


    He took one step forward, then paused.


    ¡°Le Le.¡±


    Yue Zhishi looked towards him.


    ¡°You¡­¡± He sighed. ¡°When you thought about leaving, why didn¡¯t you think about me and your Aunt Rong? We¡¯ve raised you for so long, only for you to repay us by separating from our flesh and blood?¡±


    Those words stabbed violently into Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart.


    ¡°Forget it. Forget it.¡±


    The door closed, the sound of it very soft.


    Yue Zhishi remembered something Aunt Rong had said before. She¡¯d said in the beginning, Uncle Song had smoked a ferocious amount due to the stress of his business. But later, when he¡¯d brought Yue Zhishi home and learned he had asthma, he¡¯d stubbornly fought his addiction and gave up smoking. He¡¯d given it up for sixteen years.


    It didn¡¯t matter if Yue Zhishi was home or not ¡ª he hadn¡¯t touched cigarettes even once.


    Only the three of them were left in the house. Song Yu¡¯s back was turned, and he couldn¡¯t see his face clearly. Lin Rong had still yet to stop crying. Yue Zhishi was most unwilling to see her cry, and it was like his feet couldn¡¯t be controlled at all as they walked towards Lin Rong.


    When he stood in front of her, seeing her face covered with tears, Yue Zhishi painfully called out to her, begging her to not cry anymore.


    ¡°If you keep crying¡­ your eyes¡¯ll be swollen tomorrow.¡±


    Lin Rong hid her face and shook her head weakly. After a few moments, she raised her head and looked at him. ¡°Le Le, is there really no other way?¡±


    Yue Zhishi really wanted to give her a response as he looked into her eyes.


    But it was as though he¡¯d lost his voice; he couldn¡¯t say a single word.


    In the end, Lin Rong was still the one who gave up.


    Her head was lowered, the sounds of her crying very soft, and she repeatedly asked again and again words such as ¡®why did things turn out like this¡¯ ¡ª perhaps she was asking Yue Zhishi or Song Yu, or perhaps she was asking herself. A long time later, when she finally believed everything that had happened was real, the tears slightly paused at last.


    ¡°It¡¯s late now. You won¡¯t be able to get back into your dorms if you head back now.¡± She sniffled, holding onto the sofa¡¯s armrest as she stood up. She walked towards the staircase, and then she paused, turning back to her two children as she said, ¡°Go clean up. Try to rest early.¡±


    As he heard the sounds of Lin Rong climbing up the stairs, every step seemed to land on Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart.


    Only he and Song Yu were left in the living room. Ever since Yue Zhishi had come back, standing in the entrance corridor, he¡¯d only heard Song Yu say two sentences. He¡¯d wordlessly stood there, accepting and taking in everything like a criminal silently awaiting his final judgment.


    Yue Zhishi headed towards him, and when he arrived in front of Song Yu, he didn¡¯t quite dare to hold him. They stood in this home like two people nailed onto their crosses; they were both guilty, yet they had no way of touching each other.


    ¡°Song Yu¡­¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t reach out and hold him either. He only lifted a hand, pulled off the fever plaster on his forehead and caressed him.


    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you put on more clothes when you came out?¡± he merely asked.


    Yue Zhishi remembered the pain he¡¯d felt in his dreams. He thought ¡ª maybe he really had joined together with the person in front of him.


    Even though they weren¡¯t born from the same mother, they were like two trees with their roots and branches gnarled and intertwined together. Even if one of them were cut down, he could still keep living within the other¡¯s veins and roots.


    ¡°Go clean up.¡± Song Yu stroked his head. ¡°You need to sleep earlier to get better faster.¡±


    It didn¡¯t matter how unwilling Yue Zhishi was, he still yielded to Song Yu¡¯s decision and went upstairs by himself, entering his own room. In the dark room, Yue Zhishi leaned against his door, silent. He was a bit dizzy from his low fever, and in the maze of his thoughts, he prayed for Song Jin to no longer feel scared after his smoke; he prayed for Lin Rong to no longer cry for them. He also prayed for Song Yu to finally unload the heavy burden within his heart.


    Nights were always extraordinarily hard to endure. They were like an aimless, swaying long shot in a film; people would always feel unsettled when watching and want to put an end to it ¡ª yet he didn¡¯t have the ability to do so.


    As he laid in bed, Yue Zhishi suddenly wondered: could this be one of his nightmares?


    He used many different ways to determine if this moment was real, but his heavy flu lowered his consciousness and made it hard to think.


    Abruptly, he heard a knock on the door. He even thought he imagined it, but then in the next second, Lin Rong came in.


    ¡°Aunt Rong¡­¡±


    She placed the warm cup of water in her hands onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s bedside table and also placed down the flu tablets in her hand.


    ¡°Sleep after you take some meds.¡± Her eyes were lowered, not looking at Yue Zhishi, and the sound of her voice was also so soft, so light.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart burned, and his nose unceasingly stung; he struggled to nod, and then he lifted up the water and tablets. He didn¡¯t say anything, only very obediently swallowing down the medicine.


    Lin Rong sat on the side on the bed, her hands clenching the blanket without her realising. She held back from moving, from talking, until Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t hold back anymore and hugged her ¡ª only then could she no longer endure.


    ¡°You little white-eyed wolf, I love you so much and yet you were thinking of leaving me?¡± She was clearly saying such harsh words, but she had started crying again, her tears falling onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulders. She smacked him very lightly, like a young girl complaining about his lack of feelings. ¡°What¡¯s the point of me having your money if you¡¯re not with me? Why didn¡¯t you think about what I would do if I fell sick by myself at home? Who would go to the hospital with me? Who would help me with the restaurant when I¡¯m too busy?¡±


    ¡°I did think about it, I¡­¡± Yue Zhishi squeezed her tightly, tears also flowing down his face. ¡°I thought about it before, I would secretly come and see you, would secretly look into Yanghe Qizhe from the doors¡­¡±


    ¡°Heartless, you¡¯re so heartless. I treated you as my baby, as my treasure.¡± Lin Rong couldn¡¯t keep speaking through her tears; she could only shake her head on Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulder. She let Yue Zhishi soothe her, coaxing her until she truly stopped crying, and then moved her head up. She touched the soaked patch on Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulder and took a deep breath ¡ª she gazed at Yue Zhishi¡¯s face for a very long moment, as though he really was going to disappear one day.


    When she¡¯d finally looked enough and prepared to leave, taking away the cup as she did so, she saw the group photo of their family while on an outing on the mantle of Yue Zhishi¡¯s bed. She stroked it, and then finally stood up, walking towards the door.


    Opening the door to leave, she couldn¡¯t stop herself from turning back. In a choked voice, she said to Yue Zhishi ¡ª


    ¡°Go sleep with your brother. I¡¯m worried he won¡¯t be able to sleep tonight.¡±


    The author has something to say:


    [1010 (draft 11)]


    To Yue Zhishi¡¯s future lover:


    Hello, I¡¯m very glad to meet you. I¡¯m Yue Zhishi¡¯s older brother. You must be very curious about why you¡¯d receive a letter like this. Don¡¯t be nervous, this is just something I¡¯ve prepared ahead of time. The past me wasn¡¯t familiar with him, and so the first time I met him, I almost committed a grave mistake. In order to prevent something like that from happening to you, I decided to write down this ¡®Manual to Dating Yue Zhishi¡¯ and inform you ahead of time about some things you might need to know.


    Firstly, Yue Zhishi suffers from a severe wheat allergy. He can¡¯t eat anything with wheat. I hope you can keep an eye on him. I¡¯m really sorry to trouble you, but when you eat together with him, you might also need to have some dietary restrictions. His allergy symptoms are extremely severe. In mild cases, he¡¯ll get rashes and diarrhoea. In severe cases, his asthma will flare up.


    Which is why, if possible, I hope you can carry his medicine with you at all times. It¡¯s a really small box; it won¡¯t take up too much space. It¡¯s just in case. Because other than his allergy, his asthma might flare up if he exercises too much, catches the flu or if his emotions are affected too much. If he doesn¡¯t take his medicine, he might pass away within a few minutes. But most of the time, he would have his medicine with him. It would be great if you could be willing to learn how to give emergency first aid for asthma ¡ª if you need, I can teach you. It¡¯s very simple and isn¡¯t hard to learn.


    Sometimes during stormy days, he might find it hard to fall asleep and might affect your sleep. But it¡¯s only because he¡¯s a bit afraid of thunder ¡ª it¡¯s fine as long as there¡¯s someone by his side.


    The above lines are the things he¡¯s allergic to and afraid of, but other than that, Yue Zhishi almost has no shortcomings. Since the two of you already love each other, I imagine there¡¯s no need for me to talk about his strong points. He treats everyone extremely gently and warmly; I believe he would treat you even more so.


    Even though his parents passed away a long time ago, he still grew up under the care of everyone in our family. About his original family, you don¡¯t have to worry ¡ª Yue Zhishi has never harmed anyone. He has a gentle and kind heart. The world is so large, and yet he chose you. I believe you must also be someone extremely outstanding.


    May the two of you be happy for a very long time.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s older brother, Song Yu.


    Saved in the summer four years ago.


    (Don¡¯t cry anymore, things will slowly recover and then get better, Zhichu doesn¡¯t write BE)

 CH 92

    Chapter 92: Yanghe Qizhe


    After hearing what Lin Rong had said, Yue Zhishi sat on the bed, stunned, for a long while. By the time he came out of his daze, his face was already dripping with tears.


    Ever since he and Song Yu had gotten together, Yue Zhishi had had many nightmares no one had known about as he slept in Song Yu¡¯s arms. Such as being caught as they¡¯d embraced and kissed each other, Lin Rong and Song Jin exceedingly angry and hysterical from rage. The fanciful, distorted images in his dreams had been tattered and covered in scarlet, filled with crashes, blows and ear-piercing buzzes like a kind of unending warning.


    What people said was true ¡ª dreams were the opposite of reality.


    In reality, that pair of parents felt pain and suffering more than anger, panic coming before misunderstanding. Because they loved them too much, they weren¡¯t able to find even a single place to hurt them.


    Yue Zhishi thought he truly was very cruel, but ever since he¡¯d been a child, he¡¯d known only what it meant to give things in exchange. He¡¯d be deeply grateful after receiving the smallest little thing, and then he¡¯d immediately dig out part of himself to trade.


    [Thank you. Do you want this? This is mine, I¡¯ll give it you. I can give you many, many things.]


    To the point where he¡¯d stayed in a hotel room with his lover, and it hadn¡¯t mattered how expensive it was; he wanted to pay for one night, too.


    He had no way to accept other people¡¯s love with a clear conscience.


    After possessing Song Yu, it became even more impossible. If he¡¯d been willing, he honestly could¡¯ve enjoyed a whole lifetime of the Song family¡¯s love and care like a family member who truly belonged to the family. But he hadn¡¯t dared.


    He¡¯d never mentioned it, but Yue Zhishi had always remembered the conversation he¡¯d unintentionally overheard at the hospital. The words ¡®outsider¡¯ and ¡®someone else¡¯ were forever nailed onto his heart.


    Because no one knew what would happen tomorrow, because no one knew when this love and care would disappear, he¡¯d planned out his future life in spite of himself. He¡¯d planned out what he should do after losing these beautiful dreams, so that if that day really came, he wouldn¡¯t be left with nothing and nowhere to go.


    No one would be willing to live a whole life by themselves, and neither did he want to leave this family.


    But he had needed to prepare.


    The night at 2am was quiet enough to leave people unsettled. Yue Zhishi walked to Song Yu¡¯s room and reached out, attempting to open the door. Just like always, Song Yu hadn¡¯t locked the door. His room was finally no longer that unbroken darkness with the curtains tightly drawn. The sharp, cold rays of the moon penetrated inside, leaving a broken piece of moonlight on the carpet. Part of the blanket bulged upwards, not moving, and looked like a frigid mountain range underneath the dim moon.


    Stepping onto that soft carpet, Yue Zhishi came closer as quietly as he could. It was an untimely thought, but he remembered himself in the past; he¡¯d thought up all those different kinds of ways and ideas in the hope of being able to stay in Song Yu¡¯s room. Now, he understood: at that time, Song Yu too had yearned for him to stay.


    The two of them in the past had been separated by an unbreakable barrier. They¡¯d looked like they were extremely close to each other, but they¡¯d had no way to touch skin to skin.


    After lifting up a corner of the blanket, Yue Zhishi quietly slid inside, finally feeling some sense of warmth as he hugged Song Yu¡¯s back. This embrace felt like it¡¯d taken a long, long time in coming, and Yue Zhishi pushed his face into Song Yu¡¯s back, his arms wrapping tightly around him.


    ¡°Aunt Rong told me to come stay with you,¡± Yue Zhishi said very softly.


    With merely a hug, he knew Song Yu wasn¡¯t asleep; he would¡¯ve been able to tell even with just the sound of his breathing. The inside of Song Yu¡¯s blanket was too cold ¡ª Yue Zhishi was actually a bit grateful towards his current low fever. At least during this moment, he could give Song Yu a bit more warmth.


    His hands smoothed lightly over Song Yu¡¯s arms, as though he was soothing him to sleep. Song Yu lay on his side in front of the moon, a teardrop soundlessly tumbling down from the corner of his eyes. It hid in the soft fibres of his pillow, as if it had never existed.


    After a few moments, Song Yu flipped over and slid his arms filled with security around Yue Zhishi¡¯s body to embrace him in return. He rested his forehead on top of Yue Zhishi¡¯s and asked, ¡°How¡¯s your fever?¡±


    ¡°Does your body still ache?¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s nose was burning, his eyes swollen and painful. He shook his head and didn¡¯t say a single thing, only holding Song Yu tightly.


    Song Yu¡¯s voice came out like a sigh, the words leaving his mouth so delicately it felt like they could fade into the night sky at any moment. ¡°Why wake up so suddenly? How good would it have been to not come.¡±


    Yue Zhishi froze for a second before understanding that Song Yu meant him. Within Song Yu¡¯s expectations, Yue Zhishi should¡¯ve laid in his warm bed in the apartment and slept all the way to morning. And as he was immersed in his dreams, Song Yu would¡¯ve proactively come clean to his parents, bearing everything himself.


    He almost didn¡¯t dare imagine that possibility ¡ª because Song Yu would¡¯ve definitely packaged him as a perfect victim, would¡¯ve described their difficult love for each other as a simple count of deceit.


    ¡°I needed to come.¡± Yue Zhishi lifted a hand and stroked Song Yu¡¯s face. The moonlight crossed over Song Yu¡¯s shoulders, landing into his pale coloured eyes.


    ¡°Song Yu, I wouldn¡¯t leave you to face these things by yourself.¡±


    The palm of his hand was very hot, carrying a real and existing warmth.


    Song Yu fit their lips together, giving Yue Zhishi a peaceful and brief kiss as though it was already all of himself. He gripped Yue Zhishi so tightly it felt like he wanted to absorb him into his body. In the past, Song Yu would¡¯ve never hugged him like this; he¡¯d always been gentle, giving Yue Zhishi an endless sense of security.


    But tonight, it felt like he¡¯d returned back to four years ago, five years ago ¡ª or maybe even earlier.


    He turned back into that young boy who¡¯d had his desires cut off from the moment his feelings had begun to sprout. They hadn¡¯t even been given the chance to grow; he¡¯d seen his ending at first glance. The past him and the current him pleaded using the same body, unable to release their arms, unable to let go of the person they loved.


    Song Yu and Yue Zhishi¡¯s bodies were sealed together with no gaps in between, as though this way, they couldn¡¯t be separated.


    ¡°We¡¯ve really been terrible, haven¡¯t we.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice was very low, pulling in difficult breaths of air between words. All the things that had happened that night floated in front of his eyes like scenes pushed into his brain from a broken projector, unable to be turned off.


    Since Song Yu didn¡¯t respond, he couldn¡¯t help but ask, ¡°If you¡¯d known earlier what would happen today, would you still want me to fall in love with you earlier?¡±


    The earlier they loved each other, the earlier they would¡¯ve lied.


    ¡°Yes.¡± This time, Song Yu gave an answer very quickly.


    He held Yue Zhishi, voice slightly raspy. ¡°I wanted you so much I almost went crazy.¡±


    Hearing this response, Yue Zhishi could only feel his heart stinging. He buried his face into Song Yu¡¯s collarbones. ¡°I wish I had too.¡±


    Song Yu rubbed his nape, quietly asking him why.


    ¡°So you would¡¯ve known earlier that the only person who would¡¯ve received your letter was you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi weakly laughed. ¡°I would¡¯ve also known earlier that all the plans I created would be wasted. As long as you love me and need me, I won¡¯t be able to leave you.¡±


    In his letter prepared ahead of time, Song Yu had written ¡®please don¡¯t leave him by himself¡¯, yet Yue Zhishi had prepared ahead of time a plan for all the possibilities of him living by himself.


    If he¡¯d fallen in love earlier, they could¡¯ve destroyed each other¡¯s painful, hidden secrets.


    Song Yu was most likely the only person in the world who¡¯d been conscious of the shortcomings in Yue Zhishi¡¯s personality, and yet he hadn¡¯t dared to write them into his letter. He even stressed, ¡®he has no shortcomings¡¯.


    But Yue Zhishi actually did ¡ª he was very afraid of separation, as well as overly keen to please. In order for Song Yu to be happy and satisfied, Yue Zhishi could do anything.


    He treated everyone else the same way, whether deeply or lightly.


    ¡°Le Le.¡± Song Yu raised up Yue Zhishi¡¯s face and met his eyes. That pair of deep and profound eyes seemed to almost pierce through Yue Zhishi¡¯s mask and see clearly into his inner heart. ¡°Other than me, Dad, Mom, your friends, the people who adore you ¡ª there are so many people who love you. And they love you without asking for anything in return.¡±


    Yue Zhishi focused on him, a shining layer of moisture growing in his eyes. But he was very stubborn; he refused to blink.


    ¡°Baobao.¡± Song Yu tenderly stroked his face. ¡°Love doesn¡¯t need to be returned. It¡¯s what you deserve.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not a child without a home. Your home is here. If you really did leave, they might spend their entire lives here waiting and hoping for your return. And just like what Dad said, they would cook so many of the dishes you love, waiting for you to come home and eat.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes remained fixed on him, but his eyelashes were faintly trembling.


    His stomach felt painful, and so did his throat. So many emotions were surging.


    Frowning, Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t hold back from asking, ¡°Then what about you?¡±


    Song Yu smiled with his pale face, his palm coming to rest on the side of Yue Zhishi¡¯s face. The pads of his fingers gently rubbed against Yue Zhishi¡¯s drawn eyebrows.


    ¡°I would go look for you. All of the good cities in this world ¡ª I would look through all of them.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯d have a hard time finding me.¡± Yue Zhishi pressed his lips together, lowering his eyes.


    The look in Song Yu¡¯s eyes was very tender. ¡°Have you forgotten the hide and seek we used to play as kids?¡±


    As long as Song Yu searched through each room and called out Yue Zhishi¡¯s name once he arrived at where he¡¯d hidden himself, the tiny Yue Zhishi would rush impatiently out to see him, begging for Song Yu to carry him. He¡¯d even say, gege, how are you so amazing, you found me so easily.


    ¡°If you missed me, you¡¯d come out.¡±


    Yue Zhishi knit his eyebrows together, looking as though he was struggling to hold back his emotions. In the end, he couldn¡¯t help but nod and wrap his arms around Song Yu.


    The small stray dog, having planned to continue living his life well, would be very careful when crossing the road. He¡¯d look for a place to hide when it rained, and would do his best to find things to eat for himself ¡ª because he no longer had food and shelter.


    Perhaps he would continuously return back to the park he¡¯d used to be taken to and search for the lawn he¡¯d used to run across, secretly sniffing the familiar fragrance of the grass.


    What was so hard about living by himself?


    He was only afraid that if his past owner showed up once more, he would forget everything in his joy and run straight into his arms.


    Song Yu¡¯s arms were forever his safest refuge ¡ª they were the only place to which Yue Zhishi felt like he belonged.


    There was no need for payment or exchange. He belonged to him.


    They embraced each other, using each other¡¯s bodies to keep warm. But neither of them dared to ask, dared to think if their parents would accept them ¡ª they could only huddle into each other to pass these dark hours. Yue Zhishi was worried Song Yu wouldn¡¯t sleep well, so he too didn¡¯t sleep well the entire night. Hazily dreaming that Song Yu had left, he startled awake; when he realised Song Yu was still sleeping next to him, a hand on his shoulder, only then did Yue Zhishi release a breath, ease into him and continue sleeping.


    He did that several times, and when the sky started to lighten, he finally couldn¡¯t keep sleeping anymore. He opened his eyes and stared at Song Yu¡¯s face for a very long time, helping him flatten out those frowning eyebrows. His throat was hurting and he really wanted to cough, but he was worried he¡¯d wake Song Yu ¡ª and so Yue Zhishi got out of bed with light movements and went to the bathroom to cough.


    His reflection in the mirror looked thin and haggard, his face pale as paper yet his lips were flushed red from his fever. Yue Zhishi cleaned up a bit, his throat still uncomfortable, and felt like it was hard to breathe. But his heart was still anxious and restless; he only wanted to see how Song Jin and Lin Rong were sleeping.


    But they seemed to have woken up even earlier ¡ª Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t even gotten to the living room after going downstairs when he heard the very low sounds of the news of the television, as well as the sounds of them talking.


    Yue Zhishi hid behind the staircase and quietly stood there. Lin Rong¡¯s vague voice was the tiniest bit crisp, like the daylight of early morning.


    ¡°Can you still not tell? The two of them can¡¯t be separated at all. They¡¯re not the same as those young people who¡¯ve just started dating ¡ª their relationship¡¯s already very deep.¡±


    ¡°But what if one day¡­¡±


    Tears once again appeared in Lin Rong¡¯s voice. ¡°Don¡¯t say what if anymore¡­ I was in so much pain last night. I couldn¡¯t sleep, so I went to Xiao Yu¡¯s room to see if they were sleeping. Do you know? They were sleeping with their arms tightly around each other, just like little babies particularly worried about losing each other.¡±


    ¡°If we force them away from each other now for a future we don¡¯t know when will arrive, then I¡¯ll have lost both my sons.¡±


    She softly sobbed, ¡°And I don¡¯t care what other people think, I just want them to live well, to be happy everyday¡­ Xiao Yu, he, he¡¯s stifled everything in his heart for so many years. Isn¡¯t it because of this? My son can¡¯t sleep at night, and yet as a mother, I didn¡¯t even know.¡±


    Yue Zhishi drew in a deep, deep breath, but it felt like he couldn¡¯t quite move his body. All the intense emotions from last night had loaded down his body too much. He felt a bit weak, and he leaned back against the staircase as he listened to their voices.


    He heard Song Jin say with remorse, ¡°But I keep feeling very apologetic to Yue Yi. It feels like I haven¡¯t taught our children well, haven¡¯t led them down the right path, which is why they¡­¡±


    ¡°If Yue Yi really was still alive, he would also want Le Le to be happy. He¡¯d want Le Le to be together with the person he likes. Weren¡¯t we the same back then? My dad didn¡¯t allow us to be together and was determined to force me into marry someone else. Have you forgotten how much you suffered back then?¡±


    Seeing Song Jin¡¯s eyebrows tightly drawn together, not speaking, Lin Rong sighed. ¡°I thought all night about why Le Le would want to leave. Maybe it was because he¡¯s felt like he didn¡¯t have a family since he was a child. Even though we treat him well, he still isn¡¯t our true born son ¡ª and later, after he fell in love with Song Yu, he felt like he hadn¡¯t lived up to our care. He was scared of us throwing him out, which was why he kept thinking he should leave first¡­¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s definitely why.¡± She repeated painfully, ¡°My Le Le would only want to leave because of that.¡±


    The more she thought about it, the more pain she felt. ¡°Don¡¯t bother them anymore, isn¡¯t it fine just like this? It¡¯s not like they¡¯ve committed some unforgivable crime. They¡¯re not true brothers anyway. If other people want to talk about them, then let them talk. People live for a lifetime ¡ª we don¡¯t live for the sake of other people¡¯s mouths.¡±


    Silence for a few seconds, and then Song Jin helplessly sighed. ¡°Then so be it.¡±


    He said again, ¡°We might not be used to it in the beginning, but we can¡¯t show it. We can¡¯t hurt the children.¡±


    ¡°Why¡¯d you steal what I was going to say,¡± Lin Rong grumbled before using a tissue to wipe away her tears. ¡°Seriously. Hurry and throw away the cigarettes you haven¡¯t smoked. Don¡¯t smoke anymore, Le Le¡¯s going to cough if he smells it.¡±


    The words had just left her mouth when she thought something didn¡¯t feel quite right ¡ª she felt like she heard the sounds of someone struggling to breathe. She flew off the sofa, followed the sounds of the breathing and found Yue Zhishi collapsed on the floor behind the circular staircase.


    ¡°Le Le!¡± Lin Rong half picked up Yue Zhishi, who had his face covered with tears as his asthma flared up. She urgently called out Song Jin¡¯s name, saying, ¡°Hurry and bring his inhaler!¡±


    Song Yu came downstairs as Yue Zhishi was using the inhaler. When he saw Yue Zhishi on the floor, he immediately rushed down to his side.


    His fever and overly heightened emotions triggering his asthma, Yue Zhishi remained weak and feeble even after using the inhaler. The entire family brought him to the hospital. Yue Zhishi silently slept on the hospital bed, and the ice-cold IV drip flowed down the plastic tube, trickling into his veins.


    Lin Rong sat next to him, both her hands wrapped around one of Yue Zhishi¡¯s ¡ª she cried in front of his bed, just like she used to when he¡¯d gotten sick as a child.


    Song Jin told Song Yu to come outside with him and took him to the window at the very end of the hospital corridor. He didn¡¯t look like the exhausted father from last night, about to grow old over the span of one night ¡ª his emotions had steadied, and with a respectable suit on, he slightly recovered his usual gentle and elegant air.


    But the question he asked was very direct, very clear, as though he was calculating how big of a mistake his own son had committed.


    ¡°You and Le Le ¡ª how far have you guys gone?¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t hide a single thing, honestly saying, ¡°We¡¯ve done everything.¡±


    ¡°Did you ask for it?¡±


    Song Yu lowered his eyes. ¡°I asked for it.¡±


    ¡°You, Song Yu¡­¡± Song Jin struggled to hold back his emotions. ¡°Le Le¡¯s so young¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll take responsibility.¡± Raising his eyes, Song Yu looked towards him. ¡°Dad, I don¡¯t think I¡¯ve been a bad child after growing up for so many years. But I¡¯ve never promised you anything.¡±


    His gaze was very steady. ¡°But I can promise you, there¡¯ll be no one else in this world who will love Le Le the way I do. There won¡¯t be.¡±


    Song Jin turned his face away, unable to refute Song Yu¡¯s words.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry for hiding from you for all these years.¡± Song Yu used soft words he almost never would use. ¡°I won¡¯t ask for you guys to forgive me or to accept me. I only hope that you won¡¯t blame him. He really does care a lot about your feelings.¡±


    Song Jin looked out the window. Cold wind was blowing at the hospital lawn, pushing and shaking off the crumbling tree leaves ¡ª as well as a pair of birds, clinging together.


    He was silent for a long time, and then he shook his head. In the end, he only said to Song Yu, ¡°Take care of him well. Don¡¯t let down your uncle.¡±


    A moment later, Song Yu solemnly nodded. His father spoke again.


    ¡°Last time when I asked you in Yanghe Qizhe¡¯s courtyard how you¡¯ve been recently, you said you¡¯ve been quite well, that you¡¯ve been really happy everyday. I¡¯ve always remembered it, because it felt like it wasn¡¯t something you would say. I thought you really did come across something good and became really happy. Now that I think about, I can understand why you said what you did.¡±


    ¡°Since the two of you are together now, be happy.¡± He looked at Song Yu. ¡°As parents, we only wish for your happiness.¡±


    And then, he said it was cold outside and told Song Yu to head back in and take a leave of absence for Yue Zhishi. He walked downstairs by himself to buy some fruit.


    After calling the university, Song Yu went back to the hospital room. He saw Lin Rong wrapping her thumb and index finger around Yue Zhishi¡¯s wrist, measuring it, and she frowned in worry at his narrow wrist. When she saw Song Yu come in, she sighed; her tightly pressed lips were quivering slightly.


    Walking over, Song Yu grabbed a chair and sat next to her. He pulled her into his arms.


    This pair of mother and son was particularly strange ¡ª Song Yu could think of one hundred different ways to bicker with Lin Rong, but he couldn¡¯t speak to her about the words he¡¯d hidden in his heart. It felt like they were separated by a long distance, yet with just a hug, Lin Rong¡¯s stubbornly cold front would crumble.


    She pushed and shoved at her son¡¯s embrace, and even reached out to hit him ¡ª but she didn¡¯t dare hit too heavily, and she also didn¡¯t dare to cry out, in case she disturbed Yue Zhishi. She could only shake her head again and again, as though admitting defeat.


    Hearing Song Yu ask for forgiveness, the pain in her heart rose once again.


    What was there to forgive? It wasn¡¯t as though he¡¯d actually done something wrong.


    She sniffled. Not wanting to open her mouth, she could only pull out her phone.


    Not long after, Song Yu¡¯s phone vibrated.


    [Ms Lin: You¡¯re not allowed to think and imagine random things anymore. You need to rest and need to come home more often. Or else I¡¯ll take Le Le and leave together.]


    Song Yu actually smiled, seeing that message.


    In the tranquil hospital room, their voices turned into written words, but the tone and feelings within them were still accurately and precisely delivered to the other person¡¯s heart.


    [Xiao Yu: Take me and Dad along too. We¡¯ll carry your bags.]


    The indicator on the chat screen kept changing, switching from ¡®currently typing¡¯ to nothing and then back again. After many, many cycles, only then did Song Yu receive his mother¡¯s reply.


    [Ms Lin: You¡¯ll carry them yourself.]


    [Ms Lin: The entire family¡¯s bags.]


    The author has something to say:


    Yanghe Qizhe (ÑôºÍÆôÕÝ): A metaphor for the end of bad times and the start of a beautiful, smooth-sailing life. Found in the History of the Song Dynasty: Annals of Music.


    (Yes, the real Song Dynasty poetry records)


    The lines of the original poem described spring: ¡°And thus the winds respond, refreshing the seasons and the year. The warmth of spring awakens those hibernating from winter, and everything returns to spring.¡±

 CH 93

    Chapter 93: Soundless Devotion


    Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t in the greatest condition. After the doctor checked him over, he believed that other than the fever, Yue Zhishi¡¯s asthma had been mainly triggered by depression and anxiety.


    ¡°He can¡¯t get so emotional. He¡¯s been ill for so many years, you guys should know this by now.¡± As he completed Yue Zhishi¡¯s medical notes, the doctor said to Song Jin and Lin Rong, ¡°His nails were still blue from cyanosis when he arrived, it must¡¯ve been a severe attack. As his parents, you should care more for your child¡¯s psychological health. When it comes to an illness like asthma, having a healthy mind is sometimes even more important than having a healthy body.¡±


    The two of them continuously nodded. At hearing the word ¡®depression¡¯, Lin Rong¡¯s heart squeezed with pain ¡ª no matter how hard she imagined it, she couldn¡¯t link Yue Zhishi together with that word.


    Yue Zhishi stayed in the hospital, and Lin Rong didn¡¯t open her restaurant over those next few days. She stayed with him every day and almost never went home; she slept on the small pull out bed in his room at night. Whenever Song Yu came by to switch shifts with her, she would rush him back to campus to finish his graduation thesis.


    It was as though they¡¯d returned back to the past, Yue Zhishi more than familiar with these scenes. Lin Rong would chat to him while steadily slicing up fruit: apples and pears were turned into bunnies, pineapples into small fans, and even pomelos were peeled. She¡¯d fill up a plate of fruit and then place it in front of Yue Zhishi with a tiny fork.


    Because Lin Rong had been with him, he hadn¡¯t hated living in the hospital as a child. He¡¯d only disliked the smell of it.


    Lin Rong used to watch anime together with Yue Zhishi in his hospital room, but Yue Zhishi had liked watching shounen series. Lin Rong had kept picking at the emotional storylines, occasionally asking him, this guy and this girl are a couple, right? Do they like each other?


    And as a child, Yue Zhishi had replied very solemnly, they don¡¯t have the time to date, they need to get stronger.


    The current Yue Zhishi more often than not would watch television dramas with Lin Rong. She¡¯d gasp and sigh in appreciation like a young girl whenever she saw something exciting, and then she¡¯d say to Yue Zhishi, your Uncle Song¡¯s not so flirty and showy, but he¡¯s still very gentle.


    For the few days he stayed in the hospital, an idol drama just so happened to be broadcasting. They¡¯d often watch in his room, snacking.


    When the male lead manufactured a surprise for the female lead, Lin Rong bit a sweet potato fry in half and then held onto the remainder as she asked Yue Zhishi, her eyes focused on the television ¡ª


    ¡°Is your brother romantic?¡±


    She asked that question as naturally as though she was complaining about Uncle Song.


    But Yue Zhishi froze; they¡¯d cracked open their hearts and had spoken about many things over the last two days, but they¡¯d very tacitly evaded away from the details of Yue Zhishi and Song Yu¡¯s relationship. Yue Zhishi had been scared of hurting Lin Rong.


    He didn¡¯t expect Lin Rong to suddenly ask about it, and even thought he¡¯d misheard.


    Seeing there was no response from Yue Zhishi, Lin Rong turned her face around and looked at him, the words I knew it written over her face. ¡°He¡¯s not very good at dating, is he?¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s face was somewhat burning, and he started to stammer, ¡°Ah, I¡­ gege, he¡­¡±


    Lin Rong chuckled. ¡°Look at how scared you are. Does he bully you? If he does, you have to tell me.¡±


    ¡°No, no.¡± Yue Zhishi was so flustered he almost flipped over the plate of fruit on his blanket. He hurriedly caught hold of it, and then he explained to Lin Rong, ears hot, ¡°Gege¡¯s really good, he¡¯s particularly tender and really romantic¡­¡±


    ¡°Are you sure?¡± Lin Rong looked extremely curious. ¡°I can¡¯t tell at all!¡±


    It was as though Yue Zhishi had received a bit of encouragement when he saw the look on her face, and he hunted for evidence that could convince Lin Rong. ¡°It¡¯s true, gege¡¯s really romantic. He¡¯ll always bring me back a small gift every time he goes out for field work.¡±


    ¡°Does he?¡± Lin Rong nodded. ¡°Worthy of being my son. What kind of presents has he given you?¡±


    ¡°Stones.¡± Yue Zhishi then added, ¡°Very expensive stones.¡±


    Lin Rong chortled, finding the whole thing even funnier when she saw Yue Zhishi¡¯s clueless face. ¡°Darling, only you. Anyone else wouldn¡¯t find Song Yu romantic.¡±


    Yue Zhishi quickly blinked a few times, doing his best to argue. ¡°Aunt Rong, the stones he¡¯s given me really are super pretty. He found them himself, I¡¯ll bring them back for you to see next time. He¡¯s also given me sunflowers, and every time I need him, he¡¯s always by my side.¡±


    ¡°I think instead of finding stones, he¡¯s found a treasure.¡± Lin Rong finished the second half of her fry. ¡°Well, to be more precise, his dad found one for him.¡±


    An ad started to play on the television. Lin Rong was about to change the channel when she heard Yue Zhishi say, ¡°And there won¡¯t be anyone else like gege who¡¯d write a letter like that¡­¡±


    Lin Rong¡¯s hand, holding the remote, paused, and her pain once again stung with pain. She was quiet for a few moments, and then she said, faintly smiling, ¡°That¡¯s true. Only someone who really loves you would do something like that. Especially someone like your brother, who hadn¡¯t lacked anything since he was born ¡ª it would¡¯ve been very difficult for him to truly want something. But once he did, it would¡¯ve also been very hard for him to let go. He¡¯s already done his best to restrain himself, I know¡­¡±


    She turned her face to him and stroked Yue Zhishi¡¯s hair. ¡°I must¡¯ve really hurt you in the past when I kept talking about him finding a girlfriend.¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head subconsciously, but Lin Rong wasn¡¯t deceived.


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t actually hoping for anything to happen, I just thought he was too lonely.¡± Lin Rong gave him a smile. ¡°But now, I can relax.¡±


    ¡°But¡­¡± Yue Zhishi said with some difficulty, ¡°We can¡¯t get married, and we can¡¯t have¡­¡±


    Without waiting for him to finish, Lin Rong carelessly said, ¡°Why can¡¯t you get married? We can hold a wedding ceremony in Yanghe Qizhe¡¯s courtyard. And a marriage certificate¡¯s just a piece of paper, back then, your dad and I, ah no¡­¡± Her tongue slipped, and so she quickly corrected herself, ¡°Your Uncle Song and I, we ran away and eloped. Your dad drove us to a small park, and it was just the three of us when we got married. He was our witness, and he recited a bunch of random things from a ridiculously wrinkled piece of paper. We even borrowed money from your dad to buy our wedding rings.¡±


    Lin Rong lowered her head and chuckled. ¡°Seriously, I feared nothing back then either, only knowing to run away with Song Jin. We wanted to register our marriage but didn¡¯t have our household registration booklets, so Yue Yi just wrote us one. When we finally registered our marriage much later, it didn¡¯t feel all that interesting ¡ª I preferred the one your dad wrote.¡±


    As he listened to Lin Rong, Yue Zhishi felt like he could see those scenes. He was wistful, wanting to see how his father had looked like back then.


    ¡°So it¡¯s not important.¡± Lin Rong returned back to their conversation. ¡°Besides, I don¡¯t want to take care of children anyway, I¡¯ll become a grandma if you have kids. I don¡¯t want to think about it.¡± She touched her own face. ¡°I still feel very young. I don¡¯t want to be a grandma.¡±


    Yue Zhishi laughed at her words.


    ¡°But later, when your lives have settled down¡­¡± Lin Rong touched his arm. ¡°You can adopt. There are too many pitiful children in this world. Adopting one can mean saving them.¡±


    Yue Zhishi dropped his eyes, complicated emotions in his heart. He¡¯d imagined many different kinds of scenarios in the past about what would happen after coming clean to Song Yu¡¯s parents and hadn¡¯t expected many good ones; he had never imagined actually sitting here, listening to Lin Rong¡¯s teasing and comforting ¡ª let alone listening to her as she helped them plan out the rest of their lives.


    Placing the plate aside, he shifted over and affectionately leaned on Lin Rong¡¯s shoulder. He hugged her, his movements filled with trust. Lin Rong returned his hug, the warm and gentle fragrance of her perfume wrapping around Yue Zhishi; she said to him, her voice full of love, ¡°Be happy together with your brother. He really loves you and can¡¯t be away from you. We know that now.¡±


    ¡°We really love you too, so don¡¯t think about leaving us anymore, okay?¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded and said, okay. After a very long time, he said through a block in his throat, ¡°Aunt Rong, I can¡¯t be away from you either. I really love you and Uncle, too.¡±


    It was always hard to talk about love between family.


    On one hand, it felt too serious; on the other hand, it felt too dramatic. It felt like life should be a bit more down to earth, like the steady footsteps continuously moving forward and landing firmly on the ground. But threaded throughout the three meals in a day, the four seasons in a year ¡ª echoes of love were etched into each and every passing moment.


    Song Yu come over towards nightfall, and since Lin Rong needed to head back to take Cotton Candy and Orange to a physical examination, they changed shifts.


    There was no one else in the single hospital room. Song Yu came in with a bouquet of flowers, closing the door very lightly, and saw Yue Zhishi sitting on the bed with his earbuds in and completing his coursework on his laptop. The aircon in the room was turned to a very warm temperature, and his wan, slender neck peeked out from his baggy hospital gown. His brown hair, now grown out to his chin, was half tied up behind his head with only wisps of soft hair falling onto his face


    He was typing softly, and his lips were pursed up as he concentrated ¡ª he looked so adorable.


    Pulling out a white avalanche rose, Song Yu threw it onto the bed. It fell right into Yue Zhishi¡¯s arms, and he stared in a bit of confusion at the flower that¡¯d suddenly appeared. Yue Zhishi picked it up and turned to look at the door, puzzled; he only then saw Song Yu, who was wearing a plaid coat with no glasses, a gentle curl to his lips and a large bouquet of white flowers in his hand.


    Yue Zhishi tilted his head and gave him a smile. ¡°You look like you¡¯re about to go to a wedding.¡±


    Song Yu walked over to him and gave Yue Zhishi the flowers. As though he was explaining something, he said, ¡°Only these few flowers looked nice in the shop. I just bought them randomly.¡±


    Except they didn¡¯t look random at all. Light-coloured gauze was wrapped around snow white roses, cream Persian buttercups, freesias and baby¡¯s-breaths ¡ª  it looked so much like a wedding bouquet, and it very much matched the white coloured hospital room. Yue Zhishi really liked it, and so he reached out to stroke Song Yu¡¯s wrist, only to have his own hand caught.


    His head lowered, Song Yu delicately rubbed a finger over the bruise on the back of Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand from the IV needle, and then he interlocked their fingers together.


    ¡°I have good news and even better news. Which one would you like to hear?¡±


    ¡°The good one,¡± Yue Zhishi said without a single bit of hesitation. ¡°The even better one should come last.¡±


    Holding his hand, Song Yu said, ¡°I don¡¯t need to push back my graduation anymore. Professor Zhang promised to not block me from graduating because of personal matters and will let me proceed as usual. I also don¡¯t need to work in his research group anymore, I¡¯ve officially moved into Professor He¡¯s group.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was so happy he threw his arms around Song Yu and then clutched his arms. ¡°That¡¯s fantastic! I¡¯ve been so worried about your graduation. Now everything¡¯s going to be fine, and you won¡¯t have to change your thesis topic either.¡± But he was still a bit doubtful. ¡°Why did Professor Zhang suddenly change his mind?¡±


    ¡°Zhang Siyun helped.¡± Song Yu smoothed a hand down Yue Zhishi¡¯s back. ¡°She found him so despicable after hearing Old Zhang was pressuring me with my graduation, so she threatened him by saying she was going to go back to the United States. She also took back her right to date and marry whoever she wants.¡±


    Yue Zhishi let out a soft ¡®wow¡¯, admiration in his voice. ¡°What a woman.¡±


    ¡°And she found someone new to date at the speed of light.¡± Song Yu gave a simple description. ¡°An overseas student from Spain.¡±


    Yue Zhishi said ¡®wow¡¯ again, his eyes brightening, only to have Song Yu brusquely say, ¡°What are you so excited about?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not excited.¡±


    ¡°Your eyes are glowing.¡± Song Yu raised an eyebrow.


    Yue Zhishi leaned onto his body and then softly explained to him in a voice still slightly clogged up from the flu, ¡°I was just curious about what he looked like¡­¡±


    ¡°Not as good-looking as you, so don¡¯t bother.¡± Song Yu took the flowers he¡¯d given him and put them onto the table before tugging up Yue Zhishi¡¯s blanket.


    ¡°And the other piece of news?¡± Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t forgotten, and he grabbed Song Yu¡¯s sleeve. ¡°The even better one.¡±


    Song Yu also pushed his hand underneath the blanket. The twilight colours of early winter filtered through the glass window and turned Yue Zhishi¡¯s skin almost transparent. The fine, downy hair on his face was faintly visible, while his pair of light brown eyes was like amber, bright and clear.


    ¡°Dad took me yesterday to clean Uncle Yue¡¯s tombstone.¡±


    He may have called it a tombstone, but in reality it was only a cenotaph, an empty tomb. Song Jin had placed Yue Yi and his wife¡¯s tombstones next to the Yue parents who¡¯d passed away much earlier. Worried Yue Zhishi would be distressed, they¡¯d taken him there very rarely, but the Song couple visited at least twice a year and would tell them of any good news. The tombstones were like tree holes, never replying.


    Yue Zhishi softly hummed, and so Song Yu continued, ¡°Dad told Uncle and Auntie about us.¡±


    As a father, Song Jin had represented his own son and apologised to his two deceased friends; he¡¯d also given them a promise, saying he would watch over Song Yu and would make sure Song Yu loved and protected Yue Zhishi well.


    ¡°Dad even reminded Uncle Yue,¡± Song Yu relayed, ¡°saying that when Olivia was pregnant, Uncle Yue had even joked about doing a childhood betrothal between you and me if you ended up as a girl, that having me as a son-in-law would¡¯ve definitely been something fantastic for him. Dad said to Uncle Yue that perhaps some things hadn¡¯t turned out the way they¡¯d expected, but Xiao Yu was now even more outstanding compared to when he was younger ¡ª and he hoped Uncle Yue could accept me.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes started to burn as he listened, but he also found it slightly funny. ¡°I can¡¯t believe you can say stuff like that with a straight face. You even complimented yourself without finding it embarrassing.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m just passing along what Dad said, I didn¡¯t add anything extra.¡± Song Yu squeezed his hand. ¡°Do you know what I was thinking when Dad was saying that?¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Yue Zhishi gazed at him.


    ¡°When you were still in your mom¡¯s stomach, you were already engaged to me.¡±


    Yue Zhishi said somewhat self-consciously, ¡°You¡¯re making things up now. Uncle was talking about child betrothal.¡±


    Song Yu arched his eyebrows indifferently. ¡°Same thing. In any case, you were already mine when you were just an embryo.¡±


    The words of ¡®shamelessly boasting¡¯ suited Song Yu all too well, Yue Zhishi thought.


    ¡°I¡¯m starting to think you called this news as ¡®even better¡¯ simply just to praise yourself and exaggerate.¡±


    Song Yu shook his head and also pinched Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand. ¡°No. Since Dad was willing to take me there, that means he¡¯s already accepted us and hopes Uncle and Auntie can accept us too. He said, even though there¡¯s no way to control how other people look at us, at least we can have the blessings of our parents.¡±


    As he spoke, hints of pain appeared on Song Yu¡¯s face. ¡°He even said, after watching your clothing competition last time, he and Mom went home that night and watched Brokeback Mountain. Both of them were so hurt, especially when they later learned about us ¡ª they kept thinking of the final scenes of the movie.¡±


    And then, he touched the back of Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand with his lips, his kiss landing on the same spot as that broken vein. ¡°We¡¯re very lucky.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded.


    Underneath dense and heavy clouds, they¡¯d pulled out unsteady, unreliable sweetness in advance, expecting the arrival of the storm ¡ª only to have ended up waiting for a shower of fine rain, the moisture falling as mutely as their parents¡¯ soundless devotion.


    What Song Yu didn¡¯t say was, in front of Yue Yi and Olivia¡¯s tombs, he¡¯d selfishly changed the way he called them ¡ª he¡¯d silently called them mom and dad.


    And because of how much he¡¯d liked the idea of a childhood betrothal, he¡¯d specifically chosen a bouquet that looked like wedding flowers.


    He had later felt very absurd after doing all those things, and he wasn¡¯t willing to let Yue Zhishi know ¡ª so along with many other small things sealed away, he locked them and placed them to rest in his quiet heart.


    The day Yue Zhishi left the hospital, the weather was spectacular. Jiang Yufan brought over a hot red bean milk tea.


    ¡°Eh? Didn¡¯t Shen Mi say he was coming too?¡± Yue Zhishi poked a straw in and drank a large mouthful.


    ¡°Ha, he¡¯s currently being pestered by that journalism guy.¡± Jiang Yufan shivered from the cold. ¡°The one who was in the competition with you ¡ª soft skin, baby face, short.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes shot wide open. ¡°Xu Lin? With Shen Mi??¡±


    ¡°Yep. I think he watched a basketball game where Shen Mi played especially well, and then he started to look for Shen Mi every day. It¡¯s fine if he was just looking for him, but he¡¯s so haughty, he really knows how to pull out excuses. One moment he¡¯ll have printed out a bunch of news surveys for Shen Mi to answer, and then the next moment he¡¯ll come and ask Shen Mi to do some volunteer work. He comes around every day.¡±


    Yue Zhishi could imagine it, and he couldn¡¯t help but laugh.


    ¡°Do you think Xu Lin likes Shen Mi?¡± Jiang Yufan rubbed a hand over his newly cut hair.


    A bit surprised, Yue Zhishi asked, ¡°You¡­ You can tell?¡±


    ¡°My girlfriend said it, she even said they match pretty well.¡± Jiang Yufan giggled. ¡°I just think they¡¯re really funny, they have a love-hate relationship. It¡¯ll be so rowdy if they really get together.¡±


    Jiang Yufan spoke easily, as relaxed as when he¡¯d heard Yue Zhishi explain his vision for his final closing show outfit. He¡¯d only encouraged him without thinking, saying he was amazing, and hadn¡¯t questioned him further.


    Yue Zhishi suddenly realised: all of the people around him were particularly tolerant.


    Perhaps after the heavens had snatched away his father whom everyone had loved, they had tried to desperately make it up to him ¡ª using this.


    And even though gifts couldn¡¯t be used to offset the gap in his life, they each had their own joy and beauty.


    Once he returned back to school, Yue Zhishi¡¯s days weren¡¯t too different from before. He was busy studying every day, and he would even occasionally bump into Xu Lin during general education classes as he clung around Shen Mi, the name ¡®Mixed Sweetheart¡¯ still falling from his mouth.


    But what was different from before was that he and Song Yu now went home every weekend. Time and love healed everything, and the small pieces of awkwardness that had existed between everyone after they¡¯d just come out were gradually smoothened out. The changing of identities didn¡¯t bring in a sense of distance ¡ª rather, it meshed them together even tighter. Lin Rong even thought she¡¯d obtained a magical weapon to face Song Yu¡¯s ridicule: Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°Much more useful than Song Jin,¡± Lin Rong said with utter delight as she hugged Yue Zhishi in her arms.


    But Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart was still pounding slightly from nervousness. To be honest, he was actually still very afraid of Song Yu.


    Christmas was rapidly arriving, and they¡¯d ordered a massive Christmas tree this year as well as too many decorations. The tree had yet to arrive, so they could only temporarily pause the plan of decorating it with everyone.


    There was still a very important basketball game before the holidays. Song Jin really wanted to watch it, so he adopted a roundabout tactic and said, ¡°Xiao Rong, didn¡¯t you say you were searching for photo albums this afternoon? Let¡¯s look at them together, we haven¡¯t gone through them in years.¡±


    Lin Rong immediately stood up. ¡°That¡¯s right, I found one.¡± Running to the storage room, she grabbed an extremely thick, extremely large old album and sat next to Song Yu and Le Le on the rug. Song Yu was playing games on his phone and so didn¡¯t really look at it, but it caught Yue Zhishi¡¯s attention. He¡¯d originally had his chin on Song Yu¡¯s shoulder as he watched him game, but as soon as Lin Rong sat down, he turned around to face her.


    ¡°Wow, I was too funny as a kid. My hair was so curly.¡±


    Song Yu glanced over, the corners of his mouth unconsciously curving up in amusement.


    ¡°You were super cute back then, I was always surrounded whenever I took you out.¡± Focused on showing Yue Zhishi photos, Lin Rong was no longer watching the television, as expected ¡ª Song Jin turned on the livestream to the basketball game in satisfaction, occasionally looking over at the album and providing a few comments.


    ¡°Look at this!¡± As though he found a treasure, Yue Zhishi hefted up the album in front of Song Yu and patted his shoulder to ask him to look. ¡°Gege, look, you as a kid!¡±


    Hearing Lin Rong¡¯s uncontrollable laughter, Song Yu knew it wouldn¡¯t be anything good. He threw a glance over in curiosity and only just managed to not roll his eyes.


    ¡°How boring.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s boring? You were so cute, that was my favourite lipstick.¡± Lin Rong sighed with emotion. ¡°Your brother was cuter as a child, wasn¡¯t he, Le Le? You could put makeup on him.¡±


    Yue Zhishi kept looking at that photo with a young Song Yu wearing lipstick and blue eyeshadow; the more he looked at it, the more he found Song Yu adorable.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think you should laugh at me.¡± Song Yu stared at his phone, his character in the game using a magnifying glass from up high to search for enemies. He mildly said, ¡°I don¡¯t know how many times you were forced into a dress as a child.¡±


    ¡°Dress??¡± Yue Zhishi was shocked.


    Song Yu swiftly downed one enemy, coolly letting out a ¡®mn¡¯. ¡°She dressed you up as a little princess, the type of princess where Disney would send over a letter from their lawyers if they saw.¡±


    What kind of description was that, Yue Zhishi silently scoffed.


    Lin Rong was focused on something else. ¡°What do you mean, forced? Le Le cooperated with me so nicely, he was super happy to wear a dress. He didn¡¯t even make a fuss when I was putting wigs on him, and he also really enjoyed wearing shiny lipgloss.¡±


    A complicated look was all over Yue Zhishi¡¯s face. ¡°Really¡­.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right.¡± Lin Rong copied the way he¡¯d spoken as a child as she said, ¡°You even asked me, Auntie Rong Rong, am I pretty?¡±


    Song Yu flicked an eyebrow.


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t believe them, flipping through the photos. ¡°But there aren¡¯t any photos here, are you guys sure you¡¯re remembering correctly?¡±


    Lin Rong said, ¡°There¡¯s one missing from the albums at home. I¡¯ve looked for it before, but I still haven¡¯t found it ¡ª I don¡¯t know where it¡¯s gone even though it should be at home.¡±


    The safe area in Song Yu¡¯s game had now shrunk to its smallest, entering its final moments.


    ¡°Xiao Yu, have you seen it? There¡¯s still one more album, and it has photos of Le Le wearing princess dresses.¡±


    ¡°I have it.¡± Song Yu was fighting fiercely, and the words slipped out before without him realising.


    ¡°You have it? When¡¯d you take it, why didn¡¯t I know?¡±


    The matched ended, Song Yu showing Yue Zhishi the celebratory screen of chicken dinner. Cotton Candy jumped into Song Yu¡¯s lap with a small toy in his mouth, and he was a bit confused at what was happening. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Why do you have Le Le¡¯s photo album?¡±


    Song Yu fell silent. Cotton Candy kept leaping up towards his face, wanting to lick him, so Song Yu also covered away Cotton Candy¡¯s mouth.


    Yue Zhishi had entirely no idea; he hugged Song Yu¡¯s arm and softly asked him, you really have it? Song Yu didn¡¯t speak, his face turning a bit stiff.


    ¡°Good shot¡ª¡ª¡± Song Jin yelled at the screen, before he abruptly realised the room was extraordinarily quiet. Peeking over somewhat guiltily, he continued watching his game uneasily.


    ¡°Ah, I know,¡± Lin Rong deliberately teased. ¡°Your brother must¡¯ve taken it away because he missed you.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t want to admit it, so he intentionally said, ¡°I used it to hold down instant noodle cup lids.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Lin Rong gave him a smile, gesturing in the air with her arms. ¡°The album was thiiiiiiis big. It would¡¯ve fit just nicely in your suitcase. I think even if you used it to hold down the lids for a Manchurian feast, it would¡¯ve been more than enough.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was laughing so hard he collapsed onto Lin Rong¡¯s shoulders, but he was hauled back up.


    Seeing Yue Zhishi¡¯s beautiful laughing eyes, Song Yu pinched his cheeks in a bout of revenge. He shook him, and then he focused on those lips, glistening as though they¡¯d actually been covered by a layer of clear gloss. There was a hint of threat in his voice as he said ¡ª


    ¡°Is that so funny? Little princess.¡±

 CH 94

    Chapter 94: Finding Dreams Within Imperfection


    ¡ª¡ª


    [Not a luxury car]


    Those who don¡¯t like S/M or D/S dynamics, I sincerely suggest that you don¡¯t read Lovely Allergen¡¯s cars. Even though there¡¯s not much actual S/M, Song Yu leans S and Le Le leans M. They very much enjoy their activities, so it¡¯s a bit much to talk about whether or not there¡¯s respect. Song Yu¡¯s already very gentle, he hasn¡¯t said a single insulting word. He only says baobao, little princess, and the strictest he goes is using Yue Zhishi¡¯s full name. And it¡¯s not like he¡¯s truly done anything S, just the spanking from earlier ( )


    Anyway, if you like gentle, caring gongs in bed, then all of the cars in this book aren¡¯t suitable for you (most of my gongs are relatively dominating in bed)


    [Orgasm control, dry orgasm]


    ¡ª¡ª


    Yue Zhishi became a bit more courageous, thinking Song Yu wouldn¡¯t dare to do anything to him in front of Lin Rong, so he pulled himself away from Song Yu¡¯s evil hands and curled himself into Lin Rong¡¯s arms, cutely whining.


    ¡°Aunt Rong, he¡¯s bullying me.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t bully Le Le!¡±


    When Song Yu didn¡¯t say anything, Yue Zhishi turned smug and started to say one thing after another with Lin Rong.


    Seeing that Yue Zhishi, with his face red from being pinched, had found a defender, Song Yu raised an eyebrow at him. ¡°Very good, Yue Zhishi.¡±


    Cats were very good at holding grudges.


    For the rest of the night, Song Yu didn¡¯t speak to Yue Zhishi and purposefully ignored him, and then he later directly went back to his room and turned on his projector to watch documentaries and play games. Yue Zhishi found an excuse soon after to follow him upstairs, but Song Yu¡¯s door was locked with no responses to the messages he sent. Neither did he respond when Yue Zhishi softly called out to him, and when Yue Zhishi later pressed his ear to the door, he could only faintly hear words like ¡®Arctic Circle¡¯ and ¡®glaciers¡¯ from the documentary.


    Seriously.


    Yue Zhishi felt Song Yu really did have a big temper, and so he gave him the label of ¡®Arctic Circle¡¯ in his heart.


    In the middle of the night, the already asleep Yue Zhishi suddenly heard the sound of his door opening. He blearily woke up, thinking he hadn¡¯t shut his door completely to let Cotton Candy push his way in through a crack. Shifting deeper into his blanket, he closed his eyes and turned over ¡ª only to be caught off guard by a kiss. He thought he was dreaming, but when he sleepily opened his eyes, he saw Song Yu¡¯s face a short distance away, reflected in the moonlight.


    Song Yu pressed down on him menacingly, and the sleep muddled Yue Zhishi weakly pushed at him, still remembering how Song Yu had ignored him. ¡°Weren¡¯t you ignoring me¡­¡± But he couldn¡¯t push him away at all, and the entire mattress was like a soft swamp, taking away his air as he sunk deeper and deeper into the kiss.


    ¡°I thought you wouldn¡¯t be able to sleep all night if I ignored you.¡± Song Yu bit Yue Zhishi¡¯s lip, his voice deep and quiet yet indistinct. ¡°What time is it for you to already be sleeping so deeply?¡±


    ¡°Looks like you really don¡¯t care about me¡­¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice was soft and needy, all the words he wanted to say swallowed by the kiss. He somewhat pitifully groped and grabbed at the shirt on Song Yu¡¯s back.


    ¡°No¡­ Then what were you doing?¡± Song Yu once again teased him with the topic of being a princess. ¡°Were you acting like Sleeping Beauty and deliberately luring someone in to kiss you awake?¡±


    Just by those few words, Yue Zhishi¡¯s face had already gone red and his heart was already pounding; whenever he said ¡®no¡¯ and ¡®I wasn¡¯t¡¯, he would be pinned down and continuously kissed. It was as though Song Yu was training a small animal, teaching him that the only correct answer was to admit it ¡ª but when Yue Zhishi finally chose to confess, he was given only a deeper kiss.


    He couldn¡¯t fight him at all.


    Song Yu only temporarily released him once Yue Zhishi¡¯s breathing started to stutter.


    Yue Zhishi had already slid off his pillow, and he lay flat on his bed as he panted softly. ¡°How¡¯d you get in¡­¡±


    He was wearing black cotton pyjamas, his body supple and warm from sleep.


    ¡°You told me your door¡¯s passcode when you were in fourth grade.¡± Lowering his head, Song Yu gave Yue Zhishi¡¯s lower lip a peck, but then he couldn¡¯t help but bite down again, one of his hands gripping Yue Zhishi¡¯s hip, skin against skin. ¡°And you still have yet to change it.¡±


    Yue Zhishi had set up his passcode when he was in fourth grade; he¡¯d fused together his birthday of 1010 with Song Yu¡¯s 1101 by placing the separate numbers of his birthday in between the digits of Song Yu¡¯s, the number turning into 11011001. He¡¯d thought only by doing so could he show just how close they were with each other. He¡¯d considered himself a genius, and so he¡¯d shared it with Song Yu the moment he¡¯d thought of it.


    Yue Zhishi felt a bit ticklish from Song Yu¡¯s touch, and he squirmed against Song Yu¡¯s chest, wanting to avoid his hand. ¡°I forgot I did that¡­ Have you sneaked in here many times before?¡±


    Song Yu kissed the side of his neck, yet the words that left his mouth were, ¡°I¡¯m not a pervert.¡±


    His voice breathless, Yue Zhishi wrapped his arms around Song Yu¡¯s back without conscious thought. ¡°Not even once?¡± Other feelings gradually took the place of his stubborn drowsiness, his body temperature rising like the thick fog of night.


    ¡°I did, once.¡± Song Yu¡¯s voice was low and husky, and he confessed in between the gaps of their intimacy. ¡°You were sick once in your first year of junior high with a high fever. I couldn¡¯t sleep that night, so I came over to look at you at 2am.¡±


    At this very moment, he was doing all the things a lover could do, making Yue Zhishi his own through loving touches ¡ª but for the past him, the one who hadn¡¯t had the right to do any of these things, he said, ¡°I only touched your forehead once to see if you were still burning up. I didn¡¯t do anything else.¡±


    The sounds of low pants were mixed into the candid opening of his heart, and it felt like a subtle melding of boundaries. It was as though half of his soul was confessing its sins, while the other half was committing them by following desire¡¯s lead.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s entire body had already softened, and when he closed his eyes, he could see his imagined image of Song Yu at that time. He used a very quiet voice to say to Song Yu, ¡°You¡­ You should¡¯ve secretly kissed me.¡± He had originally wanted to sound encouraging, but his voice shifted the instant a hand closed around his body; he accidentally let out a whimper.


    He was like a young bird held in the palm of Song Yu¡¯s hand.


    ¡°Is it too late to kiss you now?¡± Song Yu was fervently kissing him, but he didn¡¯t allow him to make any noise, saying noise would draw their parents¡¯ attention. That reason seemed to be very useful ¡ª it made Yue Zhishi anxious and fearful, and it heightened Yue Zhishi¡¯s sensitivity multiple times over as he shrunk himself into Song Yu¡¯s arms, biting his own lips. He looked like a shaft of white reed trembling under the night wind of winter, fragile and beautiful.


    Song Yu liked deep kisses, loved seeing Yue Zhishi¡¯s chest heave from a kiss with his face as red as though he¡¯d just orgasmed; he also loved tangling their tongues together, swallowing every moan that fell from Yue Zhishi¡¯s mouth before making him unable to hold back from making another sound. Yue Zhishi tried to endure, yet he couldn¡¯t.


    It was a cycle of love, lust and sensation.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s awareness had turned very slow, not realising until much later that Song Yu had pulled down his pants until they were bunched up at his knees. As he continued to kiss him, Song Yu reached out an arm as though to grab something.


    ¡°Ge¡­¡±


    He moaned like he was praying for an even more passionate kiss.


    But very soon, a dollop of cold and sticky paste appeared on the top of his thighs and his cock, and it made Yue Zhishi shiver in Song Yu¡¯s arms. Song Yu turned his hand into a circle, and he held onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s cock, moving up and down with the slip of smooth hand cream.


    Yue Zhishi bit his lips, but Song Yu licked them open. His skin was so pale and his features were as delicate as a doll¡¯s, but as soon as he was moved by lust, he was touched by colours and a liveliness no one else could see.


    ¡°Behave. Does it feel good?¡± Song Yu annoyingly pulled away from the kiss, as though hoping for Yue Zhishi to make a noise.


    Clenching his teeth, Yue Zhishi quivered in Song Yu¡¯s hold, but Song Yu was determined to not give him shelter ¡ª he retreated a distance away, watching the look on Yue Zhishi¡¯s face as he struggled from desire.


    ¡°Ge¡­¡± Yue Zhishi held back his need to groan, begging Song Yu with a voice as light as air. ¡°Don¡¯t do that anymore, hold me¡­¡±


    ¡°Just a bit more. I¡¯ll hold you once you come.¡± Song Yu gave him a promise as one of his hands tormented the top of Yue Zhishi¡¯s cock. His other hand opened the buttons on Yue Zhishi¡¯s shirt, revealing his snow white chest for his own viewing and enjoyment.


    Yue Zhishi hoped he could come a bit quicker, so he caught Song Yu¡¯s hand ¡ª feeling no resistance, he pulled it to his own chest and used the pads of Song Yu¡¯s fingers to touch his own nipples. Later, he lay on his side and even started to use Song Yu¡¯s fingers to rub at them, his face almost buried into his pillow; like a cat in heat, he kept dragging in large gulps of air.


    His nipples were too dry, and they started to ache from the chafing. With shaking shoulders, Yue Zhishi drew Song Yu¡¯s hand into his mouth and licked his fingers.


    Song Yu wickedly pulled out his fingers slightly, the clinging threads of saliva turned into glittering strands of silk. His right hand moved a bit quicker, and Yue Zhishi stretched out his tongue under the stifling pressure of his lust and chased after his fingers before tugging down those dampened enough fingers to play with his own nipples.


    Underneath the double attack on both the upper and lower halves of his body, Yue Zhishi¡¯s legs stiffened very rapidly and started to twitch; he clenched tightly onto Song Yu¡¯s wrist with a tremendous amount of force, and the legs initially rasping against Song Yu¡¯s feet also tightened.


    But in the very last moment right before he came, Song Yu stopped his movements ¡ª his hand clamped down firmly on Yue Zhishi¡¯s cock.


    Tears filled Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes as he teetered on the edge, and he kept wriggling his body like a water snake hungering to mate. ¡°Ge¡­ gege¡­¡±


    ¡°Shh.¡± Song Yu leaned in and said next to his ear, ¡°Do you want Mom and Dad to see you like this?¡±


    The tears trickled down Yue Zhishi¡¯s face as he helplessly, fearfully shook his head.


    ¡°Then behave.¡± Song Yu¡¯s hand was still around Yue Zhishi¡¯s cock, and he only gradually loosened his hold after sensing Yue Zhishi¡¯s urge to orgasm had faded away. He started to play with the tip again, and he swiped a finger through the fluid leaking from the top and smeared it on Yue Zhishi¡¯s face ¡ª he mixed it in with his tears.


    ¡°Little princess, is your lower half crying too?¡± He deliberately aroused Yue Zhishi¡¯s sense of shame and used his other hand to wipe away the cream spread over the top of Yue Zhishi¡¯s thighs and his ass, pressing and kneading. ¡°You¡¯re so soft.¡±


    He did everything he could do to seduce Yue Zhishi except for fucking him, and neither did he allow him to release ¡ª Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t take it anymore, and so he went to kiss Song Yu with tears dripping down his face. He reached over to pull out Song Yu¡¯s hard cock, tugging it as if he was tugging over a hand. ¡°Gege¡­ I want¡­¡±


    ¡°What do you want?¡±


    ¡°Fuck me¡­¡± Yue Zhishi said so very softly. ¡°I beg you.¡±


    Song Yu ended up flipping him over and embraced him from the back, fiercely thrusting into the lubricated gap between his thighs. His other hand continued to pump at Yue Zhishi¡¯s cock, and Yue Zhishi could feel himself about to collapse from the impact of Song Yu¡¯s hips; not daring to call out, he painfully clenched his teeth ¡ª only to have even his teeth start to chatter.


    He was crying heavily, his entire body as wet and slick and swollen as though he¡¯d been bathed in water. Song Yu mouthed at his shoulder and the skin behind his ears, madly stimulating him right as he wanted to moan before covering his mouth and gripping his neck and calling him baobao. This pleasure, stolen from stealth, felt like it was going to take away Yue Zhishi¡¯s life.


    ¡°I can¡¯t¡­ I can¡¯t, ge¡­¡± Yue Zhishi twisted frantically in his arms, wanting to push away his hand. Knowing he was about to reach his peak again, Song Yu wanted to stop him from coming, so he squeezed Yue Zhishi¡¯s cock like before, his arms also tightly caging around Yue Zhishi¡¯s body. He used a kiss to block Yue Zhishi¡¯s pleading, but the kiss wasn¡¯t enough to hold it back completely.


    In between Song Yu¡¯s lips and teeth, Yue Zhishi tearfully whimpered and moaned, the sensation of reaching such an extreme high snatching away his thoughts and reason. He was like an animal made only of sheer desire ¡ª writhing, shuddering, gasping for large breaths of air as though he was about to die.


    His body suddenly went rigid, almost completely freezing in place, and under Song Yu¡¯s tight hold, Yue Zhishi reached a peak he¡¯d never climbed to before, the pleasure burying him underneath its waves; his whole body shook uncontrollably, yet he didn¡¯t spill a single drop. His pitiful cock jerked violently in Song Yu¡¯s hand as though it was alive.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t expect that to happen either, and he hugged Yue Zhishi as he continued to quiver, thinking he might¡¯ve gone too far. He gently kissed him, wiping away Yue Zhishi¡¯s tears, and said, ¡°Don¡¯t cry anymore baobao, that was my fault.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t have the strength to speak, his consciousness having gone somewhere else. A long while passed before he finally recovered from that assault of utter pleasure, and the hair on his forehead was plastered to his face from sweat, looking like someone just saved from the water.


    He mumbled very quietly, ¡°I already begged you¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± Song Yu kissed his face.


    But Yue Zhishi shook his head and returned his kiss, sincerely saying, ¡°That felt so good, I couldn¡¯t take it¡­¡±


    His soft hand reached downwards until it reached Song Yu¡¯s still hard cock, and he lightly moved his hand on him a few times. ¡°Gege, you haven¡¯t come yet.¡±


    Song Yu said it was fine, but Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t like how fully in control he looked, so he pulled Song Yu up. He got him to sit up against the bedhead, and he lay down between his legs, pulling his large cock into his mouth from the front.


    His mouth was pretty much stuffed full, his cheeks bulging. Separated by Yue Zhishi¡¯s thin cheeks, the look of Song Yu¡¯s cock as it protruded out from that beautiful face was irresistibly sensual.


    Yue Zhishi was still not quite skilled, but he worked very hard at it, sucking and licking that part of Song Yu¡¯s body. His eyes were damp as he looked up at his handsome lover, and he watched as that perpetually cold face was slowly stained by desire for him, as that lover reached out without thinking to press down his head, guiding him to swallow even deeper.


    Yue Zhishi liked the feeling of sucking Song Yu¡¯s cock.


    When his mouth was starting to tire, Yue Zhishi pulled away and lapped at the tip like he would an ice cream. Song Yu held onto his own cock and used it to pat at Yue Zhishi¡¯s face, but Yue Zhishi still laughed. ¡°So big.¡±


    Compared to how he usually was, he was more straightforward in bed.


    Yue Zhishi drew Song Yu¡¯s cock in as far as he could, moving his head down until the shaft reached the deepest part of his throat, and then he used his hand to surround the remainder. He softly murmured things like gege, I love you, I like you and asked him if he used to think about him while jerking himself off ¡ª if he would dream of something like this.


    It was as though the spring dreams of Song Yu¡¯s adolescence merged together with this very moment. He somewhat impatiently gripped Yue Zhishi¡¯s head and fucked into his mouth, wringing out as much pleasure as he could from the love he hadn¡¯t been able to obtain in the past.


    After an uncountable number of thrusts, he wanted to pull out ¡ª but Yue Zhishi clutched him and forced him to come inside his mouth.


    Yue Zhishi obediently swallowed it all, as adorable as a puppy getting fed. Gazing at Song Yu with his wet eyes, he wrapped his lips around the tip that had just spilled over, sucking and kissing. His cock was very sensitive right after orgasming, so Song Yu¡¯s scalp tingled from his licking; he pulled Yue Zhishi up, and they shared a very long, very wet kiss.


    The spring dreams of his past were all quite blurry. Yue Zhishi¡¯s face was blurry and so was his body, with only his repressed emotions and need clear and distinct.


    ¡°Did it feel good?¡± Yue Zhishi quietly asked as he lay on top of Song Yu¡¯s body. He had seen Song Yu knitting his eyebrows together, trying to hold himself back, and so he asked with a fair bit of delight.


    Not willing to admit it, Song Yu intentionally said, ¡°You talked so much when you were sucking me off. Were you really hoping for someone to hear you?¡±


    ¡°No¡­¡±


    ¡°We should let everyone hear you next time.¡± Song Yu squeezed his butt. ¡°How does that sound?¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t respond, so he then said, ¡°You don¡¯t want other people to know about us?¡±


    ¡°I do.¡± Yue Zhishi said it again, softly yet determined, ¡°I want them to know. I¡¯m not afraid.¡±


    Song Yu played with Yue Zhishi¡¯s smooth hair now that they¡¯d finished, and he picked up Yue Zhishi, weak and limp, to head into the bathroom. Yue Zhishi docilely rested in his arms, saying he wanted to soak in the bathtub.


    ¡°It¡¯s really late, we still have to head back to campus tomorrow for class.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s hands were hooked around Song Yu¡¯s neck. There was a delicate note of whining in his voice as he spoke, repeating once again, ¡°I want to soak.¡±


    ¡°You really are a princess,¡± Song Yu ridiculed, and Yue Zhishi very self-consciously begged him to not call him that, even reaching out to cover his mouth ¡ª only to have Song Yu briskly kiss his palm.


    ¡°Do you want to soak or not?¡±


    ¡°I do.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re a princess if you soak.¡±


    ¡°¡­.fine, I¡¯m a princess.¡±


    The bathtub wasn¡¯t very big, the two of them only just managing to fit inside together. Yue Zhishi leaned against Song Yu¡¯s chest, and his feet were also on top of Song Yu¡¯s legs; he tilted his face up and backwards to look at Song Yu, who then lowered his head and kissed his eyes.


    ¡°I need to head out for fieldwork next week with Professor He.¡± Song Yu embraced him. ¡°I¡¯ll come back to spend time with you on Christmas.¡±


    Yue Zhishi obediently nodded. He felt Song Yu push away his dampened hair, caressing and lightly touching his neck with his lips.


    He¡¯d been wondering, so he touched his own nape and asked, ¡°Gege, you seem to really like kissing this spot.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s a very tiny mole here.¡± Song Yu¡¯s finger gently rubbed against it. Snow pale skin was streaked with pink, and that small black dot was like an inherent mark made specifically for him.


    ¡°Really? I didn¡¯t know¡­¡± Yue Zhishi told Song Yu to take a photo of it next time.


    Song Yu once again lowered his head to kiss his shoulder, so Yue Zhishi subconsciously went to look. ¡°But there¡¯s no mole.¡±


    ¡°A drop of water was there,¡± Song Yu said seriously and righteously.


    Thinking he was being teased again, Yue Zhishi turned his face around to stare at him, but his pressed lips couldn¡¯t hold back his smile. Song Yu was looking at him as well, his face quiet and tranquil.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t expect Yue Zhishi¡¯s wet hands to hold onto the edges of the tub; he slightly rose up and gave Song Yu¡¯s eyes a kiss.


    Song Yu froze for a moment, and then he heard Yue Zhishi tell him why he kissed his eyes.


    ¡°I was in there.¡±


    Unnaturally turning away his face, Song Yu said, ¡°Copycat.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re embarrassed.¡± Yue Zhishi hugged his neck and forced him to look back at him. ¡°You always look away from me when you¡¯re feeling shy.¡±


    He frankly poured out the words in his heart for his lover to hear. ¡°Song Yu, you¡¯re so cute. I like you so much.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t use such strange descriptions,¡± Song Yu said, attempting to stop him.


    ¡°But you are cute.¡± Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t let him argue back and blocked his mouth.


    Unable to do anything to him, and since the water had cooled down by now, Song Yu dragged Yue Zhishi out and covered him in a bathrobe, watching as he ran back to bed and burrowed himself underneath the blanket as quickly as he could.


    Yue Zhishi was in Song Yu¡¯s arms as they lay in bed, ready to sleep ¡ª he couldn¡¯t quite doze off, and his mind kept thinking and thinking, becoming more awake the more he wondered.


    ¡°Gege, are you asleep¡­¡±


    Song Yu said he wasn¡¯t, and asked why he was still awake.


    ¡°I was thinking about your fieldwork.¡± Yue Zhishi pressed his face into Song Yu¡¯s chest. ¡°Gege, will you really be researching emergency mapping in the future?¡±


    Song Yu knew what he was thinking about. He stroked down the back of Yue Zhishi¡¯s head and explained to him very tenderly, ¡°Le Le, it¡¯s all about remote sensing now, there¡¯s not a lot of work that needs to be done manually by humans. And researching further into this direction could be really useful ¡ª if we could map out disaster areas using remote sensing, then we can simulate the disaster zone immediately. We¡¯d be able to precisely assess the areas in the shortest amount of time and would also be able to monitor any areas that may also fall into disaster. It would mean a great deal to rescue relief. When it comes to emergency rescue workers, there¡¯s nothing more important than maps and having a GPS.¡±


    ¡°I know it¡¯d be really useful. I also understand that if there really is a disaster, there¡¯ll be a lot of children who¡¯ll be like me.¡± Yue Zhishi pressed his lips together. ¡°I¡¯m just worried about you.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry.¡± Song Yu drew him in closer. ¡°I¡¯ll protect myself well.¡±


    Yue Zhishi released a light hum and then heard Song Yu say, ¡°I¡¯ve wanted to work in this field since a long time ago.¡±


    In the still and quiet night, Yue Zhishi lifted his eyes and looked at him. ¡°Since when?¡±


    Song Yu¡¯s eyes shifted, turning gentle and soft; he looked like he was sinking into his memories. He said since a very long time ago, and then he said further, ¡°When I was six and it was the day after you¡¯d just arrived. We were still in the hospital, and I asked Dad why you didn¡¯t have a family, where did Uncle Yue go.¡±


    The him at that time hadn¡¯t quite understood what his father had said ¡ª he¡¯d only remembered that Yue Yi had treated him particularly well, had taken him to so many places, had written letters to him even after leaving for England and had sent him postcards and gifts for Christmas.


    He hadn¡¯t been able to accept Yue Yi¡¯s departure at all, just like how he hadn¡¯t been able to accept almost causing Yue Zhishi¡¯s death.


    It had been fear, multiplied twofold, that had pressed down onto a six year old¡¯s body.


    ¡°I was extremely sensitive to news on the television about disasters during then. Mom and Dad would intentionally avoid them and change the channel, but I would really want to keep watching ¡ª I¡¯d even run upstairs to my own room to watch by myself.¡± Song Yu¡¯s eyebrows unconsciously drew together. ¡°I¡¯d sometimes see emergency workers on the news carrying stretchers with the people they¡¯d saved lying on them. And then sometimes I¡¯d think ¡ª how nice would it be if it was Uncle Yue. I understood it wasn¡¯t him, but I was still happy for the people who were saved. I found emergency workers so selfless.¡±


    He paused for a few moments. Afraid Yue Zhishi would be distressed, he turned to Yue Zhishi and lightly knocked their foreheads together. ¡°It was actually my first dream as a child.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was actually afraid that Song Yu would be distressed, so he leaned in and kissed his cheek. He earnestly asked, ¡°To be an emergency rescue worker?¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡± Song Yu closed his eyes. ¡°But later, after entering junior high, my geography teacher talked about a previous great earthquake and said it was truly hard working in emergency relief. Disasters make the land complicated and difficult to understand, and without accurate maps and GPS, so many people end up buried in a place no one can find ¡ª and so they wouldn¡¯t be able to be saved.¡±


    With his eyes lowered, Song Yu said, ¡°When I heard the words ¡®they wouldn¡¯t be able to be saved¡¯, I thought of your mom and dad.¡±


    Yue Zhishi touched Song Yu¡¯s face with a hand. His heart was squeezing in pain, but he didn¡¯t want Song Yu to also be upset. ¡°And then?¡±


    ¡°And then that day, you came home and said very sadly to me that one of your classmates talked about how you didn¡¯t have parents, that you were unhappy and wanted me to buy you an ice cream.¡± A smile appeared on Song Yu¡¯s face. ¡°Yue Zhishi, you really knew how to whine.¡±


    ¡°That was clearly me fishing for pity,¡± Yue Zhishi refuted, even though he had already completely forgotten about the entire thing.


    ¡°While I sat in the convenience store and waited for you to finish your ice cream, I thought about what my geography teacher had said.¡± There was a distant look in Song Yu¡¯s eyes. ¡°And I thought, the power of emergency workers was actually very insignificant. If I created a map, or if I made a very accurate GPS, would more people be able to be saved?¡±


    Ever since they were young, Song Yu had been the one running in front ¡ª to Yue Zhishi, he was the benchmark erected forever ahead. He¡¯d never heard Song Yu talk to him about his dreams or the worries in his heart.


    The Yue Zhishi of the past wouldn¡¯t have been disappointed, because he¡¯d understood the age difference between him and Song Yu: the maturity of their thinking would¡¯ve never been on the same level. In front of Song Yu, he had been a child, and no one would take out their thoughts hidden in the deepest parts of themselves and share them with a child.


    But the two of them now ¡ª they were lovers on equal standing.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand followed down the line of Song Yu¡¯s arm and caught his hand, fingers interlocking together. ¡°Do you hope for less children like me in the world because you thought I was really pitiful as a child?¡±


    He looked at Song Yu with a pair of innocent eyes, yet he said things even Song Yu didn¡¯t dare to say.


    When he wasn¡¯t smiling, Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyelashes were very dark, very deep. His pale eyes held a muted melancholy, but because he was smiling most of the time, no one usually saw it.


    Only someone like Song Yu, who carefully cradled Yue Zhishi within his heart for every single moment, would be able to catch it.


    Since Song Yu didn¡¯t respond, Yue Zhishi thought he would stop asking. But Song Yu suddenly called out his name, voice tender and so very soft.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think you¡¯ll know this, but when you first came to Peiya for junior high, I was often looking at you.¡± Song Yu was sweeping his hand up and down Yue Zhishi¡¯s nape. ¡°Sometimes my heart would feel particularly uncomfortable when I saw you walking alone at school and getting your bike by yourself.¡±


    ¡°I was really afraid of seeing you by yourself. I really hoped you could quickly find some good friends, and then walk with them together.¡±


    Yue Zhishi had no idea about this. He frowned and said, ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure.¡± Song Yu also found himself absurd. ¡°I just felt you were so small, and so skinny. You looked miserable. Sometimes I¡¯d be sleeping in class and then I¡¯d suddenly dream that your asthma flared up ¡ª I¡¯d jump awake. And then I¡¯d look across at you through the classroom window. Sometimes I¡¯d see you, sometimes I wouldn¡¯t.¡±


    Yue Zhishi squeezed Song Yu¡¯s fingers and lowered his eyes. ¡°Then why¡¯d you still refuse to let me call you gege and tell me to stay away from you¡­¡±


    Song Yu softly laughed in self-mockery. ¡°I was way too resistant to that form of address then. I didn¡¯t want other people to mistake us for true brothers, and I also didn¡¯t want to talk about your parents.¡±


    ¡°At that time, I thought ¡ª let¡¯s just simply pretend to have no relationship with each other.¡±


    Every moment he¡¯d caught a glimpse of Yue Zhishi, Song Yu¡¯s adolescent emotions and desire to protect, and to possess, had surged through him. The young Song Yu hadn¡¯t known how to hold back the feelings that were about to overflow, and so he¡¯d thought ¡ª let¡¯s not see each other anymore. The less I see you, the less I¡¯ll like you.


    He¡¯d wanted to be a satisfactory older brother, cherishing and caring for Yue Zhishi with a clean and unstained heart, but it hadn¡¯t mattered how hard he¡¯d tried. He hadn¡¯t been able to do it.


    ¡°You must¡¯ve been very hurt back then, having been pushed away.¡±


    Yue Zhishi pressed himself onto Song Yu¡¯s shoulder, the movement full of reliance. ¡°Mn. But I still really liked you. I liked you the most.¡±


    ¡°How much did you like me?¡±


    ¡°When we were doing our class exercises and had to spin around, I was always slower than everyone else by a few beats.¡± Yue Zhishi was smiling very sweetly. ¡°So when you turned around, I¡¯d be able to see your face. I¡¯d be happy the entire morning.¡±


    He truly had liked the Song Yu of the past, the one who¡¯d never said anything ¡ª the ¡®like¡¯ of an innocent adoration and worship.


    ¡°I always thought you were so amazing, so different from everyone else, whenever you watched a geographical documentary. But I¡¯ve never once thought you were interested in those things because of me.¡±


    He¡¯d also never dared to think so.


    ¡°And now that you¡¯re willing to share with me the things you used to hide away and never say, as well as your dreams, I like you even more.¡± Yue Zhishi held onto him, smoothing a very loving hand down his back. ¡°Am I the first person to hear about your childhood¡¯s first dream?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± Song Yu then said quickly, ¡°And also the only person. Because that dream ended very early.¡±


    ¡°It hasn¡¯t ended.¡± He tilted his face up and gave Song Yu a smile. ¡°When it comes down to it, the basic nature of both your dreams is the same.¡±


    Song Yu kissed his soft lips. ¡°Is that so?¡±


    Yue Zhishi dipped his head with utter certainty. ¡°Mn.¡±


    His eyes were bright in the dark colours of the night as he gazed at his lover who¡¯d once been so lost and in so much pain ¡ª and yet it had been within those imperfect and regrettable moments that the outstanding and haughty youth had found the framework for his own future.


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter if it¡¯s the emergency rescue worker who wants to save more people, or the academic who wants to provide emergency mapping. They¡¯re both the same.¡±


    He wanted to save many, many people. Many, many families.


    ¡°They¡¯re both heroes who could provide me with salvation.¡±


    But the person he wanted to save out of everyone else ¡ª was still Yue Zhishi.


    The author has something to say:


    To Little Jade, saving the young Le Le is already a dream that could never come true. That was actually the first dream of his that had ended too early, which is why he¡¯s being so stubborn about what he now wants to do.

 CH 95

    Chapter 95: Beyond Expectations


    The night before Song Yu headed out with Professor He for the first time, Yue Zhishi spent a long time in the apartment, packing.


    ¡°Maybe you should bring a down jacket, would it get really cold over there? It gets really cold here.¡± Standing in front of the closet, Yue Zhishi hesitated ¡ª his left hand held a black down jacket while his right hand held an electric blue one. ¡°Which one of these would match better with the ash grey woollen sweater just now?¡±


    Song Yu found him ridiculously amusing, so he stood behind him and rested his chin onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s head. ¡°I¡¯m going out for work, not to attend fashion week.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s true.¡± Yue Zhishi smiled and twisted his head up to look at Song Yu. ¡°You can¡¯t dress too nicely, or else what if someone ends up falling in love with you?¡± He returned the electric blue jacket to the closest and held the black one in front of Song Yu¡¯s body. ¡°Mn, this one¡¯s a bit more common-looking.¡±


    Song Yu raised an eyebrow, so Yue Zhishi immediately changed his words and said, ¡°As in, it doesn¡¯t show off your handsome looks as much.¡±


    There were way too many people after Song Yu. If Yue Zhishi had his way, he would hang a sign on Song Yu¡¯s neck, and it would say [Owned by Yue Zhishi, strangers stay away].


    But of course, he could only think about doing so.


    Yue Zhishi folded the down jacket and placed it into Song Yu¡¯s suitcase, stuffing a rolled up scarf into the empty gaps. ¡°You have to wear this, okay ¡ª you¡¯ll be warmer with something around your face. Let me give you a woollen hat, I have lots of them¡­¡±


    ¡°Yue Zhishi.¡± Song Yu walked over and sat in a chair, pulling Yue Zhishi to stand in front of him. Holding onto the sides of his waist, Song Yu lifted his eyes to look at him. ¡°You¡¯re seriously acting like a little housewife.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes widened slightly as though they were expressing his surprise at Song Yu¡¯s description. Song Yu very quickly changed his choice of wording. ¡°My better half.¡±


    ¡°W-What¡­¡± Suddenly stammering, Yue Zhishi had a fairly large reaction to those words, and he couldn¡¯t stop explaining himself. ¡°I¡¯m just worried you¡¯ll get really cold when you¡¯re there, like last time you went to the northwest region. Plus since you¡¯re leaving early tomorrow morning ¡ª I was thinking of helping you pack some things, but you¡¯re just sitting here and not doing anything.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to pack.¡± Song Yu gazed at Yue Zhishi with his face upturned and clear of emotion. He said in a matter-of-fact voice, ¡°There¡¯s nothing worth bringing.¡±


    In Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes, Song Yu had always been very orderly and self-disciplined, rarely procrastinating, so he wasn¡¯t acting like himself at all. Yue Zhishi stroked his arm through the top of his sweater and fiddled with his watchband. ¡°But you have to bring something.¡±


    Song Yu nodded thoughtfully, as though he¡¯d been persuaded. ¡°Then I¡¯ll bring one item.¡± He lightly pinched Yue Zhishi¡¯s cheek after he finished speaking, watching his eyes as he said, ¡°I¡¯ll bring you.¡±


    Yue Zhishi felt a bit shy, hearing those words, but he didn¡¯t hide his own thoughts. He plopped onto Song Yu¡¯s body like a small animal, and with an adorable smile on his upturned face, he said, ¡°Take me along, then.¡±


    Song Yu deliberately scooted back a bit. ¡°Never mind.¡±


    Holding onto Song Yu¡¯s face with both his hands, Yue Zhishi tugged it forward until their noses were touching. ¡°Why¡¯d you change your mind?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re too attractive.¡± Song Yu knocked their foreheads together. ¡°You¡¯ll bring back a bunch of rivals for me if I take you out.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Yue Zhishi was very dissatisfied with what Song Yu said; it sounded as though Yue Zhishi had tried to make him jealous. He immediately got off of Song Yu and said, ¡°I¡¯ve never intentionally flirted with anyone before.¡±


    ¡°Just your face is enough.¡± Song Yu truly felt like Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t understand what he looked like.


    And as expected, Yue Zhishi said to him, ¡°It¡¯s not like everyone will like my kind of looks.¡±


    Song Yu ignored the topic of aesthetics, because to him, Yue Zhishi was already loveable enough to anyone who met him ¡ª to the point it actually troubled him. He poked Yue Zhishi¡¯s cheek, his finger sinking into softness, and said gravely, ¡°I¡¯ll write the character for ¡®Song¡¯ here, and the character for ¡®Yu¡¯ on the other side.¡±


    He spoke so seriously. Yue Zhishi nabbed his hand, thinking his desire to hang a sign off Song Yu¡¯s neck was too small compared to what Song Yu wanted to do.


    ¡°How would I leave the house then?¡±


    ¡°Just stay at home. You¡¯ll be very safe since you won¡¯t see anyone.¡±


    For no reason at all, Song Yu abruptly remembered a memory that couldn¡¯t quite be considered as beautiful ¡ª he couldn¡¯t help but chuckle, laughing at himself.


    He did that often; he¡¯d remember some past memories while he looked at Yue Zhishi. It didn¡¯t matter if the memories were from five years ago or ten ¡ª they were all so vivid.


    But Yue Zhishi keenly caught the shift in his facial expressions, and he instantly started to use different kinds of tactics, bribing and threatening, wanting to know what Song Yu had been thinking about, what he¡¯d been laughing about. Song Yu didn¡¯t plan on telling him, so Yue Zhishi asked every fifteen minutes until he¡¯d finished packing Song Yu¡¯s luggage. He continued tenaciously asking as they showered and climbed into bed, ready for sleep.


    Song Yu couldn¡¯t handle it anymore, in the end, and he said to Yue Zhishi in defeat, ¡°When you were in elementary school, a girl actually came up to the house wanting to be your friend.¡±


    Yue Zhishi flipped onto Song Yu¡¯s chest from his original posture of lying on his side. ¡°Really? Why don¡¯t I remember?¡±


    ¡°Because I drove her away.¡± There wasn¡¯t a single shred of guilt on Song Yu¡¯s face. Rather, there was the tiniest, most indistinct wisp of pride.


    ¡°How¡¯d you do that? Which year was this?¡± Yue Zhishi had no memory of it at all.


    ¡°I was in first year of junior high, and you were in fourth year of elementary.¡± Song Yu skipped over how rude he¡¯d been, because he tacitly felt like Yue Zhishi was very clear on how he normally treated other people. He said simply, ¡°She came to look for you on a weekend morning and wanted to treat you to McDonalds. I asked if she¡¯d already made plans with you, and when she shook her head, I drove her away.¡±


    After he finished the story, Song Yu felt like it sounded a bit familiar ¡ª his mind searched around, and then he realised he¡¯d done something similar to Shen Mi. Shen Mi had just been more crafty.


    ¡°Song Yu, you¡¯re so scary.¡± Yue Zhishi tutted a few times. ¡°How could you bully a young girl?¡±


    ¡°To be precise, I didn¡¯t bully her.¡± Song Yu justified himself rather calmly. ¡°I only said to her that you were sleeping, that you wouldn¡¯t have a great temper if you were bothered awake and that I hoped she would make plans with you in advance next time.¡±


    ¡°She definitely must¡¯ve cried.¡±


    Song Yu gave him a solemn assessment of how that girl had looked. ¡°She didn¡¯t cry. Her eyes just turned slightly red.¡±


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t believe it. ¡°Just how many times have you been secretly jealous?¡±


    ¡°If you¡¯re talking seriously, then not that many, since you matured rather late and kept clinging to me. You didn¡¯t really care about other people.¡± Song Yu¡¯s face was faintly pleased. ¡°And besides, there weren¡¯t all that many competent rivals.¡±


    Seeing how genuinely Song Yu was taking the conversation, Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t stop his laughter from spilling over.


    ¡°Is that funny?¡±


    Yue Zhishi cleared his throat and shifted back down to hug Song Yu¡¯s arm. ¡°Not funny at all. Let¡¯s sleep, let¡¯s sleep, we still have to wake up early tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°Mn.¡± By force of habit, Song Yu pulled Yue Zhishi into his arms to sleep. The room was quiet for a good while, and then Yue Zhishi blinked open his eyes in the dark. He couldn¡¯t help but ask, ¡°Would you like a competent rival?¡±


    Two seconds later, he heard Song Yu¡¯s deep voice. It sounded slightly scary.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, you go ahead and try.¡±


    He thought it might be best if he didn¡¯t poke at the border of danger ¡ª even though it was really quite interesting.


    In the past, Song Yu had always been cold and indifferent, and Yue Zhishi had gotten used to how his face and voice never seemed to change. But once they¡¯d truly gotten together, Song Yu had removed the armour on his body ¡ª and Yue Zhishi realised he could now find and discover so many faint changes in Song Yu, in his emotions. Sometimes he could even clearly sense Song Yu¡¯s happiness and pain, even if Song Yu hadn¡¯t shown much of it on the outside.


    This made Yue Zhishi feel extraordinary proud.


    Of course, no one else agreed with him.


    ¡°Song Yu? Cute?¡± Nan Jia had just eaten a bite of the ice cream Yue Zhishi had bought for her, the chill of it making her temple ache. She kept shaking her head and took advantage of Song Yu being away to scoff, ¡°He¡¯s the most cold and dignified guy I¡¯ve ever seen. I¡¯ll always remember how frozen our first meeting was ¡ª it was icier than the ice cream I¡¯m eating now.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t agree at all. ¡°Perhaps, but as long as you observe him, you¡¯ll find that he actually has a lot of changes in his facial expressions.¡± He thought of a comparison. ¡°Sister Nan Jia, have you had a cat before? He¡¯s just like a cat, you just need to keep an eye on him and then you¡¯ll notice his little faces.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m very pitiful, I don¡¯t have a cat.¡± Nan Jia took another bite of her ice cream cone. ¡°And besides, I once had a period of time where I was always watching Song Yu. You know why. But I realised his face never changed when it came to me. So when it comes down to it¡ª¡ª¡±


    She patted Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulder, voice meaningful and sincere. ¡°Le Le, he¡¯s your brother. I¡¯m not the same as you, I¡¯m not worthy.¡±


    Blinking, Yue Zhishi silently thought it was a pity others couldn¡¯t see how good Song Yu was. But when he thought about Nan Jia¡¯s words, a different emotion unavoidably grew: he didn¡¯t want Nan Jia to continue misunderstanding the relationship between him and Song Yu.


    Nan Jia was like his older sister; Yue Zhishi could ask her for help whenever he came across anything troublesome. She was essentially his best female friend.


    He thought of what Song Yu had asked before, of whether Yue Zhishi had wanted others to know about their relationship.


    Yue Zhishi actually wanted others to know, very much ¡ª he didn¡¯t like how other people looked so greedily at Song Yu. Since he¡¯d changed research labs, Song Yu now had a new social circle, and the amount of people asking about him once again started to increase.


    And the most annoying thing was: because a certain portion of people knew about him and Song Yu, the people spying for information had already started searching at Song Yu¡¯s hometown.


    Asking Song Yu¡¯s boyfriend about whether Song Yu was single. It made Yue Zhishi feel truly awkward and jealous.


    Being able to date Song Yu had been like a dream, to the him in the past. Every single embrace in the hidden corners had felt like a luxury, like he was stealing and eating the sweetness that had never belonged to him to begin with.


    And it had given him happiness ¡ª and it had also given him pain. There had once been moments when he¡¯d yearned for Song Yu to constantly appear at night, so that he could linger, and stay, with him in the darkness for just a while longer.


    But now, he was no longer satisfied with stolen happiness.


    Yue Zhishi thought of how Song Yu had said before he¡¯d left that he wanted his name on Yue Zhishi¡¯s face; Yue Zhishi remembered his own strange thoughts, of wanting Song Yu to carry a sign on his neck and not wanting Song Yu to wear clothes that were the slightest bit pretty.


    When they¡¯d hidden themselves from even their parents, it had felt like only the two of them in the entire world had known of their relationship. They¡¯d been locked within a small black box, and since they hadn¡¯t been able to see the sky anyway, they hadn¡¯t thought anything was wrong.


    But now there was a tiny crack in the small black box. Rays of light were visible, and it made Yue Zhishi unable to keep his hands back, wanting to pull open that crack even further.


    He really wanted to see the sun ¡ª he really wanted to stand with Song Yu underneath the sunlight, utterly and completely.


    Even though he knew there would always be people who would be disgusted with them because of their love, Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t afraid. At the very least, he didn¡¯t want to keep lying to his friends; he didn¡¯t want to keep using the briefest of lies to wave away their questions as they asked, in genuine care, about his love life.


    And he also didn¡¯t want Song Yu to be jealous anymore, even though a jealous Song Yu was very cute. Allowing his lover to feel secure was what a good boyfriend should do, Yue Zhishi thought.


    Nan Jia had finished eating half of her ice cream when she noticed that Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoelaces were undone. She mentioned it to him, and Yue Zhishi came out of his thoughts, letting out an ¡®oh¡¯, and immediately knelt down to tie them up.


    Qu Zhi called as she stood there and waited for him to finish. Putting in a bluetooth earbud, Nan Jia accepted the call and heard Qu Zhi directly asking where she was.


    Without giving Nan Jia the chance to speak, Yue Zhishi stood up and caught her arm with a very serious look on his face. ¡°Sister Nan Jia, do you still like Song Yu?¡±


    Nan Jia was completely surprised, the ice cream almost falling out of her hand. She was a bit flustered, saying, ¡°W-What?¡±


    Over the phone, Qu Zhi let out a meaningful single syllable noise.


    [Senior sister, do you still like senior Song Yu?]


    Yue Zhishi thought she didn¡¯t hear him clearly, so he repeated, ¡°Do you still like him right now? You said to me before that you¡¯ve liked him for a very long time.¡±


    [And even for a very long time?]


    Nan Jia despaired, and she shook her head calmly as she looked death straight in the face. She gave Yue Zhishi a negative answer three times in a row. ¡°No, I don¡¯t like him, I don¡¯t have any interest in him at all anymore.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was slightly hesitant. ¡°Are you sure?¡±


    [That¡¯s right, are you sure?]


    ¡°It¡¯s true. I swear.¡± Nan Jia lifted up high the ice cream cone in her hand like the Statue of Liberty. ¡°I haven¡¯t had the slightest bit of interest in Song Yu for a long time now. He¡¯s already walked completely out of my life, and he was like the wind flying tracelessly past without leaving behind a single, small wrinkle.¡±


    Yue Zhishi let out a small sigh of relief, seeing how solemn she was. He then took in another deep breath. ¡°Then¡­ I have something to tell you.¡±


    ¡°You know that Song Yu and I aren¡¯t true brothers.¡±


    Nan Jia had actually already guessed what he wanted to say, but she still pretended, plastering her face with a very expectant look as she waited to hear. ¡°Mn, of course I know. The two of you simply grew up together in the same house.¡±


    ¡°Yes. And¡­¡± Yue Zhishi attempted to bring up her memories, saying, ¡°You should remember that there was a period of time where I was really unhappy. I even talked about it with you. About¡­ about how you can tell if you like someone.¡±


    [Senior sister¡¯s so nice, when can I have a psychological consultation? I also want to know how to tell if I like someone.]


    Nan Jia pressed her lips together, enduring, and earnestly nodded. ¡°I remember.¡±


    After struggling for almost ten seconds, Yue Zhishi finally found enough courage. He leaned into Nan Jia¡¯s ear and said very softly, ¡°Actually, Song Yu and I¡­ We¡¯re a couple.¡±


    As though he thought Nan Jia would rapidly cry out in alarm something like ¡®how could that be possible¡¯ or ¡®why would you do that¡¯, he held onto Nan Jia¡¯s shoulders ahead of time. He said, ¡°Let me explain first, I¡­ I know you¡¯re not disgusted with gay people, but Song Yu and I, with our relationship, you probably, probably still think it¡¯s a bit strange. And that¡¯s fine, I can accept that ¡ª I just didn¡¯t want to keep hiding it from you since you were the one who initially gave me so much courage.¡±


    As she listened to the words from the bottom of Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart, Nan Jia still did her best to act out the reaction of someone having just listened to another¡¯s coming out ¡ª even though she¡¯d guessed ages and ages ago that they were already together and had watched as they started their relationship.


    ¡°Oh my god!¡± Nan Jia covered her wide open mouth with her ice cream, her pair of beautiful eyes also large and round. She stared at Yue Zhishi without blinking. ¡°You guys are actually¡­¡±


    Qu Zhi mimicked Nan Jia¡¯s tone, also saying a single oh my god.


    Yue Zhishi nodded and hurriedly asked, ¡°Do you find it really strange?¡±


    ¡°No, no.¡± Nan Jia quickly shook her head. ¡°I¡¯m just really surprised, I completely didn¡¯t realise at all.¡±


    [Completely didn¡¯t realise at all], Qu Zhi echoed.


    The two of them were about to separate, having arrived at the female dormitory building, and Yue Zhishi gave Nan Jia a very understanding look. ¡°I understand.¡±


    Nan Jia quickly grabbed Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand. ¡°Le Le, I¡¯m not disgusted at all. I saw how much pain you were in so much pain back then, so I¡¯m so very happy that you can be together with the person you like. Plus Song Yu treats you so differently. No one would be surprised if they just thought about it.¡±


    ¡°If I were him and had grown up with someone like you, I¡¯d like you too.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s mood instantly recovered. ¡°Really?¡±


    Nodding, Nan Jia said, ¡°Of course. You have to be well. If Song Yu bullies you¡­¡± She released a large sigh. ¡°I can¡¯t do anything about it either, I can¡¯t control him. But he definitely won¡¯t, he treats you so, so well.¡±


    Yue Zhishi expressed his agreement at her words. When he lifted his head, he saw a familiar figure walking towards them ¡ª it was Qu Zhi, carrying a motorcycle helmet.


    He gave her a friendly wave. Nan Jia turned over as well and was slightly surprised; Yue Zhishi gave her an extremely sunny smile when she turned back to him, saying, ¡°I¡¯ll head off then, you guys look like you¡¯re about to go out for some fun.¡±


    ¡°Not really¡­.¡± Nan Jia cleared her throat. ¡°Le Le, make sure you take care of your body.¡±


    Yue Zhishi gave her a confused look, only for Nan Jia to push him away and urge him to hurry up and go back to his dorm for an afternoon nap. Giving her a foolish ¡®oh¡¯, Yue Zhishi twisted his head around to say goodbye to Qu Zhi, and then he walked by himself back in the direction of the male dormitories.


    Qu Zhi raised her eyebrows and lifted her hand, her index finger hooked around the helmet and swaying it back and forth. She still remembered what Nan Jia had said at the end, so she purposefully mimicked her as she said, ¡°If I were him and had grown up with someone like you, I¡¯d like you too.¡±


    Nan Jia wanted to cover up her mouth, but Qu Zhi dodged away from her hand, even snatching away the ice cream Nan Jia carried in her other hand. Qu Zhi took a bite, teasing, ¡°Senior sister, your acting¡¯s terrible.¡±


    ¡°Of course it is. I¡¯m so beautiful, so if I could act well too, why bother studying law? I may as well go be an actress.¡± Nan Jia took away the helmet in Qu Zhi¡¯s hand and pulled it over her head, movements very well-practised. She tugged Qu Zhi, still eating her ice cream, in the direction of her motorcycle.


    ¡°Senior sister, wait. I have to finish the ice cream before driving.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s my ice cream.¡±


    ¡°Oh. The one your former-crush¡¯s-younger-brother-now-boyfriend bought for you?¡±


    ¡°¡­.you eat it, you eat it.¡±


    Once Yue Zhishi returned back to his dorm, he was a bit disappointed when he opened the door to find no one inside. The joy of being able to successfully come out to Nan Jia made him want to also tell his best friend, Jiang Yufan, to strike while the iron was still hot.


    But this was slightly hard, because Jiang Yufan was so clear about the relationship between him and Song Yu ¡ª he¡¯d known since third year of junior high that Song Yu was his older brother.


    Anxious, Yue Zhishi dragged out one of the chairs; the moment he sat down, wrapped in thick cotton clothes, it felt like all of the cotton around him pressed down on him, and he collapsed onto the chair like a large deflated air balloon.


    Something so important really should be said face to face ¡ª it would make him look more sincere to Jiang Yufan. But once he imagined talking about it to Jiang Yufan¡¯s face, he couldn¡¯t help but feel some awkwardness.


    Jiang Yufan¡¯s good heart wouldn¡¯t allow himself to say things like ¡®you guys are disgusting¡¯ to Yue Zhishi, but Yue Zhishi would feel hurt even if Jiang Yufan simply drew his eyebrows together in a quick frown.


    So he tentatively opened the WeChat conversation between him and Jiang Yufan and drafted a bunch of things to say. He deleted this and got rid of that, and when he finally thought of sending it out, he paused, very reluctant.


    In the end, he deleted everything except for two things.


    [Le Le: I have something to confess to you.]


    [Le Le: I like Song Yu, and we¡¯re together. (If you think that¡¯s weird, please don¡¯t tell me. Ah yes, I bought a barbecue meat wrap for you and left it on your desk.)]


    After sending out the messages, Yue Zhishi regretted mentioning the wrap ¡ª he felt like it made his message seem insincere, or not serious, and so he pressed his finger onto the screen to unlock it, wanting to delete it.


    But then his phone suddenly started to frantically vibrate.


    [Jiang Yufan: !!!!!!!!!!!]


    [Jiang Yufan: ???????????]


    [Jiang Yufan: Are you serious??!!]


    [Jiang Yufan: You¡¯re not joking, right?]


    Oh no, it¡¯d gone terribly wrong ¡ª Yue Zhishi thought Jiang Yufan definitely wouldn¡¯t be able to accept it and might even think his values had been overturned.


    Terrified, Yue Zhishi tried to write something to explain himself, but he¡¯d only typed out two words when he once again received a stream of vibrations.


    [Jiang Yufan: Please don¡¯t be joking! Last month I bet a pair of AJs with my older sister saying there¡¯ll definitely be a gay couple around me within a month, Xu Lin¡¯s too slow and too unreliable so I¡¯d already given up! Today¡¯s the last day of our bet! I didn¡¯t think there was still you!!!]


    [Jiang Yufan: Le Le I love you so much you¡¯re a pair of limited edition AJs dropped from the sky!!!!]


    The author has something to say:


    Le Le: [dog tilting its head in confusion.jpg] I take you as a friend, but you take me as¡­


    Straight man Xiao Fan: I have AJs! I have AJs! I have AJs!


    In a distant faraway cold mountain, Song Yu sneezed twice after being outed two times without knowing and thought, with certainty, that Yue Zhishi was thinking of him.

 CH 96

    Chapter 96: Christmas Fireworks


    Having received a pair of limited edition AJs before Christmas, Jiang Yufan was so excited he essentially forgot everything else, only awakening from his great exuberance in the afternoon. The more he thought about it, the more he was shocked.


    How did Yue Zhishi become a couple with senior Song Yu!


    And so he dragged Yue Zhishi into the sports ground. They talked the entire night ¡ª no alcohol, each person holding his own bottle of yellow peach yoghurt.


    Jiang Yufan released a long sigh after hearing the entire story. He said to Yue Zhishi, ¡°What a pity. If you two ever come out publicly, there¡¯ll be countless girls with broken hearts.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was about to say something, but Jiang Yufan caught his hand again and said to him as they arrived in front of their dormitory building, ¡°Wait, maybe you shouldn¡¯t make your relationship public. I¡¯m worried there¡¯ll be idiots cursing at you guys.¡±


    ¡°Curse me for what?¡± Yue Zhishi blinked.


    ¡°Idiots will say whatever they can think of.¡± Jiang Yufan shook his head in disdain, slipping an arm around Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulders. ¡°You know, those people who don¡¯t focus on their own lives and only care about how other people pass theirs. The kind of people who have nothing better to do than to flap their mouths and blabber nonsense.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± Yue Zhishi remembered what Lin Rong had said. ¡°We don¡¯t live for the sake of other people¡¯s mouths.¡±


    Jiang Yufan nodded. ¡°I¡¯ll punch whoever says anything about you.¡±


    ¡°No need for that,¡± Yue Zhishi laughed, his shoulders shaking under Jiang Yufan¡¯s arm. They headed up the dormitory together, Yue Zhishi listening as Jiang Yufan described just how cool, how amazing his AJs looked and how much more it was now worth.


    The festive atmosphere increased day by day, and all the small shops on campus started to adorn themselves with boxed apples, 3D cards with both winter cherry blossom and Christmas trees on them, as well as Christmas hats and red socks. Dessert shops, behind their warmly glowing glass windows, carried beautiful and exquisitely made gingerbread houses and Christmas wreath cookies, offered in both red and green.


    A truck drove by and delivered a three metre high Christmas tree into the campus plaza. Students from some student society carried in a ladder and decorated the tree with small bells, gift boxes and silk ribbons.


    A silver bauble fell down and rolled around a few times on the ground before coming to a stop in front of Yue Zhishi¡¯s feet. He crouched down, picked up the bauble and walked towards the Christmas tree.


    ¡°Your bauble.¡± Yue Zhishi held out his arm and offered it to the girl standing on the ladder.


    The girl lowered her head and was a bit surprised. ¡°Oh, thank you!¡±


    A gust of wind blew past, and Yue Zhishi held down his white woollen cap, snuffling his face into the scarf wrapped around his neck. He saw a poster board under the tree, and it said, in English, Merry Christmas and Kiss now ¡ª he curiously looked at it, and another girl gave him a friendly greeting as she twirled ribbons around the tree. She said, ¡°Fellow student, do you have a girlfriend?¡±


    Yue Zhishi subconsciously shook his head, looking at her.


    ¡°A boyfriend¡¯s fine, too,¡± she laughed, covering her mouth. She then waved her hand. ¡°I¡¯m just joking. You should take a look at our event. Tomorrow¡¯s Christmas Eve. You can get a small present in exchange for kissing in front of this tree and leaving behind a polaroid~¡± She pointed at the large box by the side. ¡°We have heaps of presents. We¡¯ll also upload the polaroids onto our social media account later, and the one that gets the most amount of likes will win a prize.¡±


    Another girl added, ¡°A very expensive prize!¡±


    Yue Zhishi let out a light and relaxed ¡®wow¡¯, and so the girl said again in encouragement, ¡°You can bring a friend too, if that friend¡¯s willing to kiss you hahaha.¡±


    Seeing words such as ¡®the best couple¡¯ and ¡®exquisite gifts¡¯ on the poster, Yue Zhishi became a bit interested ¡ª but he felt like he had nothing to do with a public event such as this one.


    ¡°You have to come participate, you¡¯re so good-looking! There¡¯s no way you don¡¯t have a girlfriend!¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s mouth crooked up in a smile. ¡°Mn¡­ he¡¯s away from campus, I¡¯m not sure if he can get back in time.¡±


    The girl gave him a heartbroken look when she heard what he said. ¡°As expected, you¡¯re already taken.¡± She quickly wiped that look off her face and pulled off a small golden bell from the tree, handing it to Yue Zhishi. ¡°But that¡¯s okay, let me give you a present ahead of time. Who told you to be so handsome, hm?¡±


    ¡°Thanks.¡± Yue Zhishi took it from her with with both hands; he gave it a gentle shake and then placed it into his pocket as though it was a treasure. ¡°Thank you.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re welcome, I hope your girlfriend can come back early and spend Christmas with you!¡±


    The constant usage of ¡®girlfriend¡¯ coming out of her mouth left Yue Zhishi somewhat lightheaded even after he¡¯d walked a fair bit away ¡ª it completely didn¡¯t match Song Yu¡¯s tall and handsome image. As he walked slowly on the roads, Yue Zhishi messaged Song Yu.


    [Le Le: Have you eaten?]


    Only one second later, he sent through another.


    [Le Le: When are you coming back?]


    Song Yu rarely replied instantly; he was always very busy while out on fieldwork. Yue Zhishi exited the chat, tapping into his Moments, and realised Qin Yan had posted a photo of his girlfriend while  they ate dinner. He¡¯d most likely taken the photo while sitting across from her, and there were many likes and comments from their mutual friends underneath the post.


    Yue Zhishi was a bit envious. His phone vibrated, so he switched back to his chat screen.


    [Arctic Circle: Not yet. Tomorrow.]


    Yue Zhishi sent him a sticker of a doggy sprinting over.


    [Le Le: Then I¡¯ll pick you up at the campus entrance.]


    Song Yu no longer refused to allow Yue Zhishi to pick him up.


    [Arctic Circle: Dress warmly.]


    The temperature dropped even more the next day, and some people in class that afternoon exclaimed that it was going to snow. Raising his face, Yue Zhishi gazed outside the window ¡ª the sky was ash grey, and it was hard to determine if it was going to snow or not.


    ¡°I think it¡¯ll sleet,¡± Jiang Yufan said, looking at the weather report on his phone. ¡°But I feel like it¡¯ll only be rain with no snow.¡±


    ¡°Maybe it¡¯ll fall tonight.¡±


    How nice would it be if it snowed on Christmas Eve.


    Carrying an expectant heart, Yue Zhishi determinedly focused on his classes and his studying, and he waited until 10:30pm before he couldn¡¯t hold back anymore and sent Song Yu a message.


    [Le Le: Can I go to the entrance now to wait for you? Are you almost there?]


    [Arctic Circle: The plane¡¯s delayed. It¡¯s cold outside, don¡¯t wait for me.]


    When it hit 11:45pm, Yue Zhishi came out of his self study classroom, very disappointed. The weather report was as unreliable as Song Yu¡¯s flight ¡ª the supposed sleet never came, and it was merely very cold, the wind almost ripping the scarf from his neck. It was so cold the minute droplets of water in the air were about to solidify and stick to people¡¯s skin.


    He roamed around campus by himself, somehow finding himself in front of the large Christmas tree. Its decorations had been completed yesterday, and it was even prettier today ¡ª myriad starlights hung from the bauble-dotted branches, gift boxes overflowing from the bottom. Within the dark night, it was a golden radiance, tender and comforting.


    ¡°Come try out our event, limited only to Christmas Eve! We finish at midnight! Final five minutes!¡±


    There were so many couples in front of the tree, hugging and kissing ¡ª some were very shy, only lightly pecking at each other¡¯s cheeks, while others wrapped their arms around their partners¡¯ necks and intimately kissed.


    One of the couples was a female pair. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know who they were, but he found their matching down jackets very cute.


    Students working for the event faced the couples with polaroid cameras in their hands and yelled out in English, ¡°Kiss now!¡± ¡ª and then they pressed down on the button of happiness.


    Couples came and went, wide smiles on their faces as they embraced, kissed; beautiful polaroids were then attached to the tree branches. Yue Zhishi stood in a position ten metres away where the twinkling lights couldn¡¯t reach and watched those adorable people with his heart curious about the presents. He was like a child without any money, yet stubbornly standing outside the shop window.


    He didn¡¯t know how long he stood there watching, but then he heard them say they were about to finish their event. Yue Zhishi belatedly pulled out his phone, took a photo of his view and sent it to Song Yu. The photo contained the beautiful tree and the silhouettes of two couples.


    [Le Le: Look, our university¡¯s Christmas Eve event.]


    His words were calm, displaying not a single shred of envy.


    ¡°Hey, it¡¯s the handsome boy who helped pick up a bauble!¡±


    The girl from yesterday recognised him. ¡°I almost didn¡¯t recognise you since you¡¯ve changed into a red down jacket.¡± She grabbed a handful of candy wrapped in colour cellophane and ran over to stuff it into Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand. ¡°We¡¯re packing up soon, I¡¯ll give these to you.¡±


    A distance away, another girl was dismantling the starlights, and she hollered over to Yue Zhishi, ¡°Your girlfriend¡¯s still not back?¡±


    Yue Zhishi responded with a blank ¡®ah¡¯, and then he held up the candy, nodding in thanks. ¡°Do you guys need me to help take things down?¡±


    ¡°No need, it¡¯ll be quick. You couldn¡¯t take part in our event since your girlfriend wasn¡¯t here, so it¡¯ll be even more sad if you had to blindly work for us.¡±


    As he said it was fine, Yue Zhishi slipped the candies into his pocket before pulling out a pink one. He unwrapped it and threw it into his mouth ¡ª it was lychee flavoured.


    He watched as the decorations came off the tree one by one, as the golden light faded and disappeared like magic. Tiny, almost invisible snowflakes floated in the air; they¡¯d arrived at a very unfortunate time, with the tree having already been packed away and about to be lifted into the back of a truck.


    His phone abruptly rang, and Yue Zhishi absent-mindedly searched for it, groping for a while before pulling it out of his pocket with a few candies falling out at the same time. He accepted the phone call and heard Song Yu¡¯s voice.


    ¡°Little friend wearing red clothes, you have a girlfriend already at such a young age?¡±


    A bit stunned, Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t say anything and only looked around in every direction.


    Suddenly, a hand landed on the white cap on his head, rubbing it. The phone he¡¯d left by his ear was instantly stolen away, and the low, deep voice that should¡¯ve been limited to radio waves rippled in the cold air ¡ª it became real, and near.


    ¡°Then what¡¯ll your boyfriend do?¡±


    Yue Zhishi turned his head around, and the moment he saw Song Yu, his eyes widened greatly. An infinitely small snowflake fell onto his long and soft eyelashes.


    Song Yu glanced around at the truck driving away and the student society workers as they left, and then his gaze lowered to Yue Zhishi¡¯s phone that he held in his hand. ¡°You were so focused on taking other people¡¯s candy that you didn¡¯t reply to my messages.¡±


    The phone screen lit up, and it displayed the two messages from Song Yu.


    [Arctic Circle: Stay where you are and wait for me.]


    [Arctic Circle: Turn around.]


    A bemused look appeared on his face, and he lifted up the phone for Yue Zhishi to see. ¡°When¡¯d you change my name? Why¡¯d you change it to this?¡±


    Rising up on his tiptoes, Yue Zhishi took his phone back and said, ¡°I changed it last time we were at home, when you spitefully went upstairs by yourself to watch documentaries. I know you were watching documentaries about the Arctic Circle.¡± He pushed the phone back into his pocket. ¡°And everyone agrees that the name really matches your temper.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t admit to it, but he also didn¡¯t get annoyed at Yue Zhishi calling him by such a cold, frozen nickname. Yue Zhishi rapidly changed the topic, asking how he appeared so suddenly.


    ¡°This is a surprise.¡±


    ¡°You were obviously lying to me.¡± Yue Zhishi focused on the main point, but he didn¡¯t continue with it, catching Song Yu¡¯s hand. He didn¡¯t hold onto Song Yu¡¯s wrist, like he used to ¡ª instead, he took hold of his fingers and regretfully pulled Song Yu away, saying, ¡°It would¡¯ve been nice if you arrived a bit earlier. There was a Christmas Eve event here just now, and they were giving away small presents.¡±


    But then he quickly said, as though persuading himself, ¡°But we wouldn¡¯t have been able to participate even if you were here.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± Song Yu asked.


    Yue Zhishi wanted to say because we would¡¯ve needed to kiss in front of everyone and would¡¯ve also needed to take a polaroid, but he saw a small snowflake drift onto the bridge of Song Yu¡¯s nose. His attention abruptly shifted, and he reached out to touch it.


    The snowflake melted so very quickly.


    He slowly explained, ¡°We couldn¡¯t. We would¡¯ve needed to kiss in front of that Christmas tree while the workers yelled out ¡®Kiss now¡¯. They would¡¯ve taken a photo of us kissing, and then people would vote on the best one.¡±


    Song Yu quietly studied his face. Yue Zhishi had been so animated as he described the scene, and had looked so adorable as he mimicked the way the workers had yelled out their slogan.


    Yue Zhishi suddenly thought of the time. ¡°Ah, it¡¯s past midnight now.¡±


    He upturned his face and smiled at Song Yu. ¡°Merry Christmas!¡±


    ¡°That Christmas tree was very, very beautiful, the photo couldn¡¯t capture just how pretty it was. It¡¯s too bad you couldn¡¯t see it yourself.¡±


    Song Yu tenderly gifted him with the same Christmas greeting, and then he took Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand without caring about anything else. Gently expressing his regret, he said, ¡°I should¡¯ve told the driver to go a bit faster.¡±


    He wasn¡¯t sure if Yue Zhishi had wanted to participate or not, if he¡¯d wanted to publicly kiss or not.


    But he was very willing.


    Going by their conversation, Yue Zhishi believed Song Yu was regretful about not being able to see the tree.


    He thought of something and then pulled Song Yu around, searching, before finally finding a row of cypress trees behind a random building. Once he decided on the best-looking tree, he tugged Song Yu over.


    ¡°I can turn this into a Christmas tree,¡± Yue Zhishi said as he walked over, his footsteps clear and crisp as they landed on the pine branches on the ground. Fishing out something small from the side of his schoolbag, he busied himself for a minute and then turned around, his hands moving in a cute introductory gesture. ¡°Look!¡±


    The place he pointed at had a small gold bell swaying in the cold wind.


    Amused, Song Yu headed over to him and commented fairly bluntly, ¡°Such a shabby looking Christmas tree.¡±


    Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t annoyed, only looking back at it. But half of the smile on his face faded away as he said, ¡°True.¡±


    Song Yu lifted a hand to stroke his chilled face, his voice very soft. ¡°How are you so obedient? Agreeing with whatever I say and not arguing back.¡±


    And then, with not much logical flow to his words, he said, ¡°I really missed you.¡±


    As they stood in the darkness, the fragrance emanating from the cypress tree buds mingled together with the scents of snow and frosted soil ¡ª they turned into the scent of winter, and it diluted the pleasant-smelling aroma on Song Yu¡¯s body.


    Song Yu never used cologne. Yue Zhishi knew this very well, but he didn¡¯t know that the reason behind that choice was because of his asthma.


    As soon as Song Yu chose to, there were many things he could give up; as soon as he wanted, he could conceal many things away.


    Yue Zhishi watched him with his face and beautiful features tilted upwards. He looked like someone who really needed to be kissed.


    ¡°I really missed you too.¡±


    He rapidly explained again about why he didn¡¯t retort back. ¡°It really does look a bit shabby. It would look nicer if there was a starlight ¡ª at least then I¡¯d be able to see your face.¡±


    Song Yu pulled Yue Zhishi into his arms, wearing the black down jacket Yue Zhishi had chosen for him. He rested one hand onto his waist, and his other hand searched in his pocket. ¡°Good thing I have one.¡±


    He drew out something thin and narrow and then also slipped out a lighter. Click ¡ª a tongue of flame sprang up, lasting for three seconds.


    Suddenly, a dazzling, glittering stream of light burst in his hand. Only then did Yue Zhishi realise ¡ª Song Yu had hidden a sparkler in his pocket.


    Under the small sounds of crackling and the faint scent of gunpowder, golden light splashed in all directions as the sparks ignited; they all came together and condensed into a shooting star, one that was willing to stop and remain in Song Yu¡¯s hand. The light, blooming like a flower, descended onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s face, and it made him look extraordinarily beautiful.


    ¡°The Christmas tree looks really luxurious now.¡±


    ¡°Just with this?¡± Song Yu questioned his usage of the word ¡®luxurious¡¯ and even lifted the sparkler slightly higher.


    Yue Zhishi nodded, both his hands around Song Yu¡¯s waist. He said, utterly contented, ¡°With your firework and my bell, this is better than the Christmas tree from earlier. This one belongs to only the two of us.¡±


    ¡°Since you put it that way¡­¡±


    In front of that exclusive Christmas tree, Song Yu lowered his head and leaned in very closely to Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°Kiss now,¡± he said, softly and deeply, and placed his mouth onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s soft lips. The narrow sparkler was held up high, quietly blossoming as their faces shifted so closely together they almost overlapped. The glow was like a protective cover, resplendent and dreamlike.


    Light snow wafted downwards; temperatures ascended. A lychee-flavoured kiss was shared between them.


    The floor lamp in their room allowed Christmas Eve to continue on. Song Yu and Yue Zhishi turned themselves into each other¡¯s present, greedily possessing each other after unwrapping. Sweat and hormones were the best tools to keep warm during a snowy night, and their love and desire were nudged into the pillows, producing the most extravagant and gorgeous dream.


    In the midst of passion, Yue Zhishi fell into conflicting thoughts ¡ª he wanted everyone to overcome their preconception of Song Yu¡¯s coldness, but he also hoped to forever remain the only one who could uncover Song Yu¡¯s unique side.


    The gentle amusement in his eyes, the indulgence concealed in his touches, the accidental cute reactions and the embrace filled with security that was always prepared for him.


    And in bed, the drawn together eyebrows and low pants.


    Once the bell was taken down and the sparkler finished burning, that special Christmas tree had turned back into a cold and hard cypress tree in winter. It was just like Song Yu ¡ª his moments of luminous light and warmth belonged only to Yue Zhishi.


    They¡¯d stayed up too late, and so Song Yu held onto Yue Zhishi and refused to let him get out of bed in the morning. Yue Zhishi accidentally fell back asleep after his alarm rang, and he almost missed his 9:50am law class. Fortunately, Yue Zhishi managed to just get in; the law school¡¯s strictest professor didn¡¯t have to criticise him on Christmas.


    He sat next to Shen Mi in that large class, and Shen Mi¡¯s phone kept vibrating the entire time. He later seemed to get embarrassed and turned on his phone¡¯s do not disturb mode.


    With his pen poking at his chin, Yue Zhishi occasionally glanced at Shen Mi. He couldn¡¯t hold back anymore when there was only one minute left of class, and he very quietly whispered, ¡°Shen Mi, I have a question.¡±


    Shen Mi had always been patient with him, and as he packed up his laptop, he gave Yue Zhishi a smile. ¡°Then ask.¡±


    Having gained permission, Yue Zhishi dropped his voice even softer and spoke in an almost inaudible voice. ¡°Is Xu Lin really pursuing you?¡±


    The professor was just about to reach the doors when an extremely loud question rang from the last row of the classroom.


    ¡°Who said he¡¯s pursuing me?!!¡±


    People stared at them when they exited the classroom. Thinking it was Shen Mi¡¯s question that had caught their attention, Yue Zhishi explained why he was curious as they walked towards the corridor ¡ª he really wanted to blame it on Jiang Yufan. ¡°I just heard¡­ Just¡­ Aiyah, Xu Lin said last time that he liked tall, handsome, bright and cheerful active guys. Have you guys really not¡­¡±


    ¡°No.¡± Shen Mi swiftly refuted. ¡°I don¡¯t like him at all.¡±


    Yue Zhishi blinked. ¡°But I didn¡¯t ask if you liked him?¡±


    Why¡¯d you rush to answer.


    ¡°Anyway, to make things short¡­¡± Shen Mi coughed twice and twisted his head around to look ahead, suddenly noticing a large group of people surrounding the notice board at the end of the corridor. In the past, that wall had been used by the law school to announce rather important news, and the school would stick up things such as examination notices, holiday plans or election results.


    ¡°Have they announced the groups for the new round of mock trials?¡± Yue Zhishi asked.


    ¡°No, they announced that last week. How could there be so many people looking at that.¡± Shen Mi found it strange, and so he walked over; he was able to see what was on the board from a distance away since he was tall.


    Yue Zhishi followed over too, and he watched as the look on Shen Mi¡¯s face changed, his face stiffening. And so he turned to look, confused, at that notice board.


    Between the gaps of moving heads, Yue Zhishi saw many printed A4 pieces of paper, stacked on top of each other until they covered the board. The papers held red, bold words printed in a large font such as ¡®gay relationship¡¯ and ¡®immoral brothers¡¯ ¡ª several photos were also fastened on top.


    He immediately recognised one of the photos. It was him and Song Yu last night, kissing in front of that cypress tree; the sparkler blocked half of their faces, but Yue Zhishi keenly recognised his own clothing. That red jacket was very eye-catching.


    Other photos showed them doing ambiguous things such as holding hands or having their arms around the other¡¯s waist. Their faces were very clear in those photos.


    The people looking at the board were all debating.


    ¡°Wow, what an explosive topic!¡±


    ¡°Are they really a gay couple? And brothers, too?¡±


    ¡°Let me just say, that photo of them kissing really is super pretty. I actually want to ship them¡­¡±


    ¡°But no matter what, this is an invasion of privacy.¡±


    ¡°Fuck! That¡¯s the geomatics school grass! My dorm mate had a crush on him before!¡±


    ¡°Congratulations to your dorm mate hahaha, handsome guys truly only date other handsome guys.¡±


    ¡°This is so boring, is there some kind of grudge between these guys and the person who put these things up? They really don¡¯t have any kind of professional sense to do something like this in the law school.¡±


    ¡°But isn¡¯t this guy that super famous boy in our school? That really good-looking mixed race boy¡­¡±


    ¡°Ah, I remember now, the one who was awarded first place in for the clothing design competition. He¡¯s super adorable.¡±


    ¡°No wonder the final round had rainbows. But there should be quite a few gay people in our school, right? There really was no need to do this, watch out for a warning letter from a lawyer.¡±


    Shen Mi cursed under his breath, wanting to explode but holding back. He took a look at Yue Zhishi, and when he saw the blank look on his face, he faintly started to worry. He wanted to say something first before he went to push through the crowd of people ¡ª he wanted to take down those pieces of paper at the very least.


    Unexpectedly, Yue Zhishi opened his mouth.


    ¡°Excuse me, please let me through.¡±


    The people in front of the notice board turned around one by one as they heard the sound of his voice. When they saw the person from the photos standing in front of them, most of them were startled and hurriedly moved aside. Yue Zhishi walked over unusually calmly and decisively tore down those A4 pieces of paper, crumpling them in his hands.


    Some of the people watching started to whisper into each other¡¯s ears. ¡°It¡¯s really him¡­¡±


    ¡°Shit, is this really incest?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s not my older brother. We¡¯re not related by blood at all, and so far, we have no legal relationship between us either. We are simply a normal couple.¡±


    Yue Zhishi had his back towards them as he ripped up those pieces of paper, and then he turned around and faced the crowd. He had a natural look on his face, and he also spoke mildly ¡ª but the question that came out of his mouth was very direct.


    ¡°Is homosexuality illegal?¡±

 CH 97

    Chapter 97: Public Announcement


    Once he finished speaking, many of the people around him seemed to freeze in place. Roughly three seconds later, a guy in a lamb wool coat shrugged.


    ¡°Of course it¡¯s not illegal.¡±


    Everyone else stood there, speechless and at a loss, and then they started to echo what the guy had said.


    ¡°That¡¯s right.¡±


    ¡°What a useless thing to talk about.¡±


    Yue Zhishi placed the ripped up pieces of paper into his schoolbag, only continuing to hold the paper he¡¯d crumpled up. He then walked out of the crowd as though nothing had happened; he¡¯d only taken a few steps when someone in the crowd behind him shouted, ¡°Don¡¯t let someone like this get away with doing this.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, fuck him up!¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be afraid, jiayou!¡±


    It would be a lie to say he hadn¡¯t had a reaction when he first saw those photos.


    Yue Zhishi had never thought photos of him would be exposed so publicly, and at that moment, he¡¯d been astounded more than he¡¯d been angry.


    But once he saw those exaggerated, eye-catching words, he was sure this was something someone had done out of malice.


    Shen Mi followed him out, and a few students their year also caught up behind them.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, are you really together with that geomatics senior?¡±


    ¡°Was that you in the photo with kissing?¡±


    Shen Mi initially thought Yue Zhishi would be scared, or annoyed, and wanted to drive away those overly curious people, but Yue Zhishi nodded. He frankly said, ¡°Yes, he¡¯s my boyfriend.¡±


    ¡°Ah, he¡¯s super handsome,¡± a girl said, very excited. ¡°You guys really match each other.¡±


    She then said some encouraging words, also telling him to not let off the person who¡¯d done something so malicious, before she turned away and left with her friends, her face full of excitement.


    Standing on the ground floor of the classroom building, Yue Zhishi looked at the paper in his hand with his head lowered; he then asked Shen Mi, raising his head, ¡°Do you think this person will have spread this only in the law school?¡±


    Shen Mi shook his head. ¡°The geomatics school¡¯s probably already in an uproar.¡±


    When he heard the word ¡®geomatics¡¯, Yue Zhishi stopped being so calm. His phone abruptly vibrated, and he thought it was going to be Song Yu ¡ª it turned out to be Jiang Yufan calling him.


    He¡¯d just accepted the call when Jiang Yufan opened his mouth and spat out fuck I¡¯m so angry fuck. He seemed to be even more agitated than Yue Zhishi himself.


    ¡°You¡¯ve heard as well? Were there posters attached to your school wall too?¡± Yue Zhishi asked.


    ¡°Posters?¡± Jiang Yufan questioned. ¡°What posters? I¡¯m talking about my Moments, the photo of you and Song Yu has already been reposted all over. People are still forwarding it around, open up your Moments and have a look.¡±


    Yue Zhishi usually didn¡¯t use his phone much when in class. He only tapped open his WeChat now; his main screen was filled with rows and rows of the red dots for unread messages. Ignoring them, he clicked open his Moments and scrolled down.


    The photo of them kissing behind the sparkler essentially covered his entire feed.


    ¡°Do you know who was the first person to post it?¡± Yue Zhishi asked.


    ¡°No. I was in class, and I only realised when girls started to talk about it. There¡¯s definitely no way to find who it is now.¡± Jiang Yufan was extremely angry. ¡°Taking a photo ¡ª isn¡¯t this an infringement of your portrait rights!¡±


    ¡°After the amendment of our civil legislation, this really is considered an infringement of our portrait rights.¡± Yue Zhishi was pleased. ¡°This person took a photo of us without our permission and even displayed it in public. This is not just our portrait rights ¡ª this is also an infringement of our privacy.¡±


    Jiang Yufan cursed for a good while, being so angry. His girlfriend seemed to be with him since Yue Zhishi was able to hear her soothing him, and so he told Jiang Yufan to calm down and to go eat lunch with his girlfriend.


    He glanced at the time. Song Yu should still be in a meeting; he¡¯d said earlier that it would go until 12pm.


    Nan Jia also messaged Yue Zhishi, having just finished her class, and bumped into him in a corridor. The first thing she said upon seeing him was, ¡°You¡¯re seriously famous now, almost the entire school knows about you after this morning.¡±


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t understand it. ¡°Who would do something like this? I thought I got along with most people.¡±


    Both Nan Jia and Shen Mi fell into thoughtful silence, and then they practically thought of the same person at the same time. ¡°I know.¡± Shen Mi met Nan Jia¡¯s eyes. ¡°Senior, did you want to say senior Wang Zhi?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°But we¡¯d only had a small disagreement.¡± Yue Zhishi found it incomprehensible. ¡°What a strange guy. Was it worth doing this to me after such a long time?¡±


    ¡°Yes, it was just a small disagreement at the time.¡± Nan Jia didn¡¯t have a good look on her face. ¡°But he didn¡¯t get along with Song Yu in the basketball team afterwards, and he kept getting physical with Song Yu whenever they split into teams for practice. The coach later punished him by benching him for half a year ¡ª he¡¯s still not allowed to play.¡±


    Shen Mi nodded. ¡°I was there. He was really bitter when the coach was scolding him, and then he later yelled at Senior Song Yu things like ¡®just you wait¡¯. Plus he¡¯s always liked Senior Nan Jia, so when his confession was rejected a while ago¡­¡±


    Nan Jia let out a helpless sigh. ¡°He really takes things to the extreme. I already told him very clearly that I was rejecting him for personal reasons, but he kept asking if it was because of either you or Song Yu.¡±


    Yue Zhishi laughed in anger, saying, ¡°But we¡¯re just friends.¡±


    ¡°He didn¡¯t believe it.¡± Nan Jia¡¯s head was aching terribly. ¡°And then once everyone heard about how he¡¯d made things difficult for you, many people scolded him for forcing you to drink. A lot of girls naturally like you, and Wang Zhi had previously condescended to people just because he was a senior, so they used you as an excuse. Things got to the point where he pretty much lost his entire reputation. He also recently lost the school election.¡±


    The trifling matter from the past had continued to brew as Yue Zhishi¡¯s fame in the law school continued to rise.


    ¡°If it really was Wang Zhi, then you have to be careful. He also studies law, after all, so if he really wanted to make life hard for you, he would¡¯ve definitely covered his tracks.¡±


    ¡°What a stupid idiot to post those things on the notice board,¡± Shen Mi cursed.


    Yue Zhishi shook his head. ¡°He would¡¯ve done it deliberately. The students in our university are relatively tolerant of the LGBT community. If he¡¯d only spread those photos around student social circles like on Moments, then it would¡¯ve been just a private matter. Everyone would¡¯ve just talked about it. But now that he¡¯s posted the photos on the school¡¯s notice board, the professors are going to notice.¡±


    Nan Jia nodded. ¡°That¡¯s right. I¡¯m afraid the school might end up hiding the entire thing.¡±


    It wasn¡¯t as though Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t thought about these things when he¡¯d first gotten together with Song Yu. He had been afraid; he¡¯d worried about how other people¡¯s eyes had subconsciously landed on their clasped hands and had worried people would point and whisper at them behind their backs.


    But now that the day had truly arrived, he realised that most of the people around him treated him amicably, some of them not even caring since the matter didn¡¯t concern them personally ¡ª at least within the university student social circles. Yue Zhishi only worried about Song Yu; he didn¡¯t want this to affect his graduation.


    ¡°As for Song Yu¡­¡± Head lowered, Shen Mi talked as he looked at his phone. ¡°With his personality, there¡¯s an 80 percent chance he¡¯ll just ignore everyone. Even if someone made a fuss in front of him, he probably won¡¯t react with his stony face.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not a bad idea to ignore it either. The photos can¡¯t prove anything anyway, and it¡¯s not like their relationship is something to be ashamed about.¡± Nan Jia urged Yue Zhishi to not take it to heart, saying, ¡°I¡¯m familiar with the professors in the law school, so I¡¯ll first go and try to see how they¡¯re taking it. Don¡¯t be anxious, do what you should be doing. Let them look.¡±


    ¡°I know.¡± Yue Zhishi smiled. ¡°People have been looking at me since I¡¯ve been a child. I¡¯m already used to being stared at.¡±


    ¡°You shouldn¡¯t say that either¡­¡± Shen Mi was staring at his phone, and he suddenly let out a ¡®holy shit¡¯.


    Nan Jia looked at him, and with a bit of weariness, she asked, ¡°It¡¯s not another photo, is it?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not.¡± Shen Mi held out his phone for them to see. ¡°Song Yu uploaded a post into his Moments.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was somewhat surprised ¡ª ever since Song Yu had started using social media apps, he¡¯d never uploaded a public Moments post. Yue Zhishi apprehensively opened his own WeChat, tapped onto the profile photo of his pinned conversation and then entered Song Yu¡¯s Moments. As expected, a new post showed up, uploaded one minute ago.


    [Arctic Circle: I already have a boyfriend. I¡¯ve pursued him for a very long time.]


    He didn¡¯t share that widely circulating photo; instead, he¡¯d uploaded a picture that looked like it¡¯d been casually taken. The photo was of Yue Zhishi, his head having just turned to face the camera. The autumn wind had blown his slightly curly hair into a bit of a mess, and he looked so youthful and energetic. The camera leaned in closely, and Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes were curved in a beautiful smile, the tip of his nose faintly reddened ¡ª he held a golden gingko leaf in his hand, and the way he outstretched his hand looked like he was giving it to the person taking the photo. Golden-bright and dazzling gingko trees were behind him.


    It was slightly out of focus, the photo a bit blurry, but it turned the photo into something even more natural and lovely.


    ¡°He actually replied¡­¡± Nan Jia found it inconceivable.


    Rather than calling this a response to the absurd situation, it was more of a public announcement of his relationship.


    Shen Mi and Nan Jia turned to the party concerned. Yue Zhishi looked at the photo for a good while, and then he muttered, ¡°When¡¯d he take this¡­¡±


    Nan Jia couldn¡¯t hold back her laugh. ¡°Is that the point?¡±


    After saving the photo, Yue Zhishi lifted his head again. ¡°And besides, he didn¡¯t pursue me at all.¡±


    Shen Mi also laughed.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to look for him.¡± Yue Zhishi guessed that Song Yu had already finished his meeting.


    Seeing Yue Zhishi immediately walk away, Shen Mi called out to him, ¡°Are you looking for him to yell at him?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m looking to eat lunch with him.¡±


    When he arrived at the information science section of campus, Yue Zhishi just happened to see Song Yu come out of his research lab building. The rays of the winter sun fell one by one onto his slightly cold face, and he looked like a statue just carved out without a soul ¡ª until he saw Yue Zhishi, and then a glimmer of life floated onto his face.


    People were glancing at them, but that was unavoidable ¡ª they were different, after all.


    Ruffling his hair that¡¯d gone into disarray from his run over, Yue Zhishi walked over to Song Yu and prepared to hug him, just like how he¡¯d hoped to do many times in the past before he¡¯d turned anxious. And yet the moment Yue Zhishi stood in front of him, Song Yu was the first one to open his arms; he gently them around Yue Zhishi.


    He was surrounded by an utter sense of security he had never felt before, as though Song Yu¡¯s arms was a complete barrier isolating him from all of the eyes of the world outside.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t speak much about how they¡¯d been secretly photographed. Instead, he took Yue Zhishi to eat, as if that was his top priority. Yue Zhishi stayed on his phone as they ate and also told Song Yu of the things Nan Jia and Shen Mi had said. He said to Song Yu, ¡°Wang Zhi should be the one behind all this, but we don¡¯t have any proof yet.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not ¡®should¡¯ ¡ª no one else except him would¡¯ve done it.¡± Song Yu gave Yue Zhishi a piece of beef and gave Wang Zhi a very low evaluation at the same time. ¡°Since he has poor moral character, a low ethical bottom line and also really holds a grudge.¡±


    ¡°But I didn¡¯t think he would do something like this.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s head was still lowered at his phone, reading the discussion in the [Little Swallow Dressed in Flowery Clothes] group chat. Everyone in it was trying to find a solution for him.


    ¡°They¡¯re saying that everyone seems to be pretty neutral so far, when they see us together. There¡¯s a lot of curious and gossipy people, but the reaction seems to be a bit better than I¡¯d expected. There aren¡¯t too many disgusted people.¡±


    Song Yu wanted to ask who the first ¡®they¡¯ were, but he still candidly said to Yue Zhishi, ¡°Not a lot of people will say they¡¯re against homosexuality on the internet these days, since we¡¯ve all gone through higher education.¡± He then asked, ¡°Are you scared of people cursing at you?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m scared of people cursing you,¡± Yue Zhishi said to him very honestly. ¡°I¡¯m scared you won¡¯t be able to smoothly graduate because of this.¡±


    Song Yu chuckled faintly, and then he used a very certain voice to say to Yue Zhishi, ¡°It won¡¯t, don¡¯t worry. I¡¯ve already gone and talked to Professor He after the meeting. When I told him my sexual orientation, he said that was my own private life and had nothing to do with academics. He even joked and said he thought it was some kind of private, adult photo when I mentioned the photo. He didn¡¯t expect it to look like that.¡±


    He gazed at Yue Zhishi. ¡°He praised you and said you look really kind and honest. He said I chose well.¡±


    Yue Zhishi pursed his lips ¡ª he looked shy when he smiled.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi.¡± Song Yu said to him very earnestly, ¡°I didn¡¯t want to tell only Mom and Dad. I originally wanted to come out. Also, I also told Qin Yan before I left for my latest fieldwork trip.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was shocked; he completely hadn¡¯t realised Song Yu had had those thoughts. ¡°Why?¡±


    After staying silent for three seconds, Song Yu gave him a very strange reason.


    ¡°Because I wanted to participate in last night¡¯s kissing competition with you. And other things along those lines.¡±


    ¡°I want to hold your hand and hold you in my arms ¡ª I want to be by your side as your boyfriend while watching a movie in the open air cinema.¡±


    Song Yu always spoke with not much emotions in his voice. He was like an advanced artificial intelligence that had to synthesise even his voice, but the electronic signal for every single phrase linked directly to Yue Zhishi and gave him an intensely beating and throbbing heart.


    ¡°But I hadn¡¯t been able to think of a suitable plan to make our relationship public, and I also worried about you being subjected to bad things because of it.¡± Song Yu¡¯s eyes were warm, only showing a bit more emotion when talking about Yue Zhishi possibly suffering from pain. ¡°And so I hesitated. But since it happened anyway, I can only hope that you won¡¯t be unhappy.¡±


    ¡°Is that why you went and publicly announced our relationship?¡± Yue Zhishi tilted his head.


    ¡°Mn. I did it the way I¡¯d thought of doing before.¡±


    In reality, Song Yu had wanted to post such a Moment a very long time ago ¡ª his desire to do so could be traced all the way back to the first day he and Yue Zhishi had started dating.


    There was a secret photo album in his phone. The album contained 1,314 photos, all of them of Yue Zhishi; most of them were secretly taken photos of his face or of his back, and a small portion of them were photos of the physical photos and polaroids Yue Zhishi had been in as he¡¯d grown up. Song Yu even had his high school graduation photo.


    The photos inside the album would increase, as time went by. And so, out of the photos he¡¯d treasured and hidden away, Song Yu would pick out those he loved just a little bit less and move them to other public albums, making sure the overall total of the secret album remained unchanged. Most of the photos he¡¯d transferred away had other people in them, or they were photos he himself thought had been taken very terribly.


    His time was very precious, but he was utterly willing to spend time on Yue Zhishi.


    It was the same for the photo he¡¯d uploaded to his Moments. Song Yu had spent a long time choosing, and then he¡¯d ended up remembering the adorable thing Yue Zhishi had said to him as he¡¯d handed him the gingko leaf. Only then did he decide on it.


    ¡°I picked up a piece of autumn for you.¡± At that time, Yue Zhishi had asked with his face upturned, ¡°Isn¡¯t it beautiful?¡±


    Very beautiful.


    ¡°So you¡¯ve thought of doing this a long time ago¡­¡±


    Song Yu pulled himself out of his memories when he heard Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice, and he tranquilly said mn. But displeasure appeared on his face very quickly, and he said, ¡°But I very much don¡¯t like being forced to do something. So I won¡¯t let this matter just disappear.¡±


    Yue Zhishi finished off the final piece of carrot, nodding, before he pushed in his bluetooth earbuds. He tapped a number into his phone¡¯s call screen.


    Looking at him, Song Yu asked, ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    ¡°Calling the police.¡± Yue Zhishi lifted his head and winked at him.

 CH 98

    Chapter 98: Reap What You Sow


    Yue Zhishi received a message from a professor from his school office, asking him to pay them a visit, as he waited for the police to arrive.


    Song Yu headed over with him, but Yue Zhishi had him wait outside. But the door wasn¡¯t closed, and so Song Yu could hear the conversation inside while he leaned against the wall. A professor with a relatively high rank was criticising Yue Zhishi for doing something that affected the school¡¯s reputation.


    ¡°I¡¯m the victim, professor. It¡¯s not the school¡¯s reputation that¡¯s been affected. It¡¯s my own personal reputation that¡¯s been affected.¡±


    When he heard Yue Zhishi say something like that to a professor, Song Yu felt Yue Zhishi truly had grown up.


    The professor in the school office clearly realised the two of them couldn¡¯t smoothly communicate at all, so he asked Yue Zhishi to return. They would contact Yue Zhishi again after the school held a meeting and figured out a way to handle the matter.


    ¡°There¡¯s no need, professor. I¡¯ve already called the police.¡±


    Yue Zhishi said very naturally, ¡°Illegal behaviours need to be punished by legal action. That¡¯s what I¡¯ve learned here.¡±


    When the two police officers arrived, Yue Zhishi straightforwardly took out the evidence he¡¯d preserved and gave it to them; he also gave them a detailed account of what¡¯d happened. When he saw the stack of A4 pieces of paper, one of the police officers took an extra look at Yue Zhishi and Song Yu, who was standing next to Yue Zhishi ¡ª the officer seemed to be confirming something.


    But Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t care; he merely repeated to them the relevant regulations when it came to personal privacy, as well as the penalties listed in the public safety management act.


    ¡°Worthy of being a law student,¡± the police officer laughed, and they took Yue Zhishi to check the security cameras ¡ª except the surveillance office wasn¡¯t quite willing to work with them, leaving them extremely resigned. A professor appeared from the school office after a while had passed, and he told the officers that the school dean wanted to talk with them.


    The professor even said to Yue Zhishi, his words a warning, ¡°Don¡¯t make any statements on social media the next few days, the school doesn¡¯t want to make this a big deal.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m allowed to post whatever I want.¡± Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t willing to accept being treated like that, the attitude and force of a law student behind his words. ¡°If I¡¯m not treated fairly by the school, then I¡¯ll resort to other means.¡±


    He had just stubbornly refuted with a few phrases, but the professor almost attacked him ¡ª Song Yu caught his arm and threw it aside.


    ¡°Professor, you should take note of your occupation,¡± Song Yu coldly said.


    Just as everyone was caught in a deadlock, another very familiar voice sounded in the corridor. Yue Zhishi turned his head around; it was the old professor in charge of the school¡¯s most difficult course who had praised Yue Zhishi in class before. He was also the school¡¯s vice dean.


    Yue Zhishi became a bit panicked, very worried that he was the rumoured school dean. In such unclear circumstances, he took the initiative to step forward and explain the situation to the old professor.


    The professor saw how hurried he was, and so he patiently listened as Yue Zhishi described what had happened that morning.


    ¡°The school¡¯s decision to not make a fuss about this means they¡¯ll suppress all the news, and that means the person who infringed my privacy definitely won¡¯t be punished. I won¡¯t accept that.¡± Yue Zhishi stood proudly and spoke with dignity. ¡°And to me, the best way to maintain a school and its reputation isn¡¯t to wipe away problems and discourse ¡ª the best way is to honestly and openly handle the problem and let everyone see it. Everyone should be able to see that in this school, people who commit wrongs will be given their due punishment. People won¡¯t have to wait for the problem to become a public matter before the school reluctantly decides to handle it.¡±


    The old professor waited for him to finish before he spoke. There was even some amusement on his perpetually stern face.


    ¡°You usually look pretty gentle, always laughing and smiling every day. I¡¯ve even said before that you¡¯re more suited to becoming a legal advisor instead of a litigator, but I didn¡¯t expect you to be such a courageous child.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine. The things you¡¯ve said, Nan Jia has already talked to me about them earlier.¡±


    Senior Nan Jia¡­


    He patted Yue Zhishi¡¯s shoulder and shifted his gaze. ¡°Police officers, come with me.¡±


    He brought the two officers into the surveillance office. ¡°Xiao Chen, bring up the camera in front of the school office.¡±


    The staff member on duty called Xiao Chen felt slightly awkward. ¡°Vice-Dean Lin¡­ This¡­¡±


    ¡°Did you not understand me?¡± The professor said, ¡°You are all teachers of law. You do know that it¡¯s a citizen¡¯s legal duty to cooperate with investigations, right?¡±


    Xiao Chen and the professor that had come over from the school office looked at each other; their faces turned green, turned white.


    ¡°Today, that person can publicly display another student¡¯s private matters on the school noticeboard right under your eyes. What¡¯s he going to post tomorrow? Gossip and rumours about other people having affairs in the school?¡± The professor prompted them again. ¡°Bring up the camera now. Hurry up.¡±


    Yue Zhishi finally relaxed after seeing the vice dean¡¯s attitude. He stood next to Song Yu, waiting somewhat anxiously for what would appear on the camera.


    But he had a feeling ¡ª if it really was Wang Zhi behind this, he definitely wouldn¡¯t be stupid enough to post the papers up himself.


    And as he expected, they found a recording from midnight last night before the school doors were locked. When they magnified the person in the recording, it didn¡¯t turn out to be Wang Zhi; it was a middle-aged man who looked rather destitute.


    ¡°Do you guys know this person?¡± one of the police officer asked Song Yu and Yue Zhishi, pointing at the man on the screen.


    ¡°No.¡± Yue Zhishi once again mentioned the person he himself suspected. ¡°He might¡¯ve told this man to do it.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll investigate this guy first.¡±


    The old professor nodded. ¡°He doesn¡¯t look like someone in our school. Pull up the camera at the school doors for the officers as well.¡±


    Song Yu, who had been silent the entire time, suddenly opened his mouth. ¡°I¡¯d like to have a look at another area¡¯s camera.¡± He pointed at the A4 pieces of paper on the table. ¡°This photo¡¯s very clear. From the angle, the person who took the photo should¡¯ve been in the classroom building behind the cypress grove. And since it isn¡¯t an overhead shot, he would¡¯ve been on the ground floor. That classroom building isn¡¯t locked at night, so he might¡¯ve even been in a classroom. That photo would¡¯ve been taken on the 25th, between midnight and 1am. If we can find a camera recording, we should be able to check who was the person taking the photo.¡±


    The police officer nodded and said, ¡°Good thinking.¡±


    Xiao Chen found surveillance recordings of that classroom building, looking through all the recordings of both inside and outside classrooms that were taken after midnight. They saw Song Yu and Yue Zhishi in the recordings first.


    ¡°On a date?¡± The old professor pushed up his glasses, asking Yue Zhishi.


    Yue Zhishi gave him a somewhat bashful smile. ¡°Something like that.¡±


    Very quickly, after they appeared, a tall person appeared by himself. He was wearing a cap, and they were able to see the blurry side of his face.


    ¡°Is this who you guys were talking about?¡±


    Song Yu nodded. ¡°Yes. Wang Zhi injured his leg a while back, so the way he walks is different from everyone else.¡±


    He also appeared in the cameras for the classroom building¡¯s corridors. After Song Yu and Yue Zhishi went near the cypress trees, he entered a classroom behind the trees. The cameras didn¡¯t have a recording of him afterwards.


    ¡°There aren¡¯t cameras in the classroom,¡± Xiao Chen said to the police officers, turning around.


    The officers nodded and took Yue Zhishi and Song Yu to the police station to interview them and take notes. As they went through the usual procedures, they saw Wang Zhi come in, cursing; police officers forced him to sit down and look at his personal enemies. He calmed down after seeing them, though ¡ª and he asked, looking at the two of them, ¡°How do you two have the face to call the police?¡±


    Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t provoked by him in the least. He simply asked, ¡°How do you have the face to ask me that?¡±


    He then said, ¡°I hear you didn¡¯t pass the bar exam. You¡¯re about to graduate ¡ª senior, where do you plan on working?¡±


    Wang Zhi furiously smacked the table and stood up, only to be pushed back down by the police.


    After they finished their interviews, Yue Zhishi and Song Yu left the station normally and waited for news. Yue Zhishi received a message from Shen Mi later that night, saying Wang Zhi was currently acting particularly proudly and had deliberately visited the basketball team.


    Yue Zhishi was so annoyed he ended up eating an extra half a bowl of rice.


    Fortunately, the police worked quickly; they notified Yue Zhishi the next afternoon that they¡¯d found the person who¡¯d stuck up the pieces of A4 paper. He was an unemployed loafer near the university, but he didn¡¯t admit that someone had instructed him to post up the photos. He even had his own reason for doing so, saying he only did it because he hated homosexuality.


    Song Yu had actually predicted this would happen long ago.


    ¡°The penalty for spreading other people¡¯s private matters is very low, right?¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded. ¡°They¡¯re penalised only a few hundred RMB and would be detained a few days.¡±


    ¡°So Wang Zhi must¡¯ve paid him pretty well for him to be willing to do this. And plus the punishment¡¯s very light.¡± Song Yu thought for a bit. ¡°Since it¡¯s something money can fix, then it¡¯s not too bad.¡±


    And then, Song Yu glanced at Yue Zhishi again. ¡°It¡¯s not enough to punish someone like Wang Zhi with something so small. Since he wants to use public opinion to oppress us, then we¡¯ll have to repay him the same way.¡±


    Yue Zhishi rapidly understood Song Yu¡¯s meaning.


    But comparatively, he didn¡¯t quite understand public opinion ¡ª professional matters should be left to the professionals.


    ¡°You want me to help you write an article?¡±


    It was the first time Xu Lin wasn¡¯t dressed fashionably, as he stood in front of the journalism school¡¯s male dormitory building. He was dressed in a very cute and fluffy set of home clothes, his arms wrapped around himself due to the cold.


    ¡°I have something similar to what you¡¯re wearing.¡± Yue Zhishi¡¯s focus deviated once again, but he quickly pulled himself back. ¡°Yes, about the recent photos. You don¡¯t want to exploit such a hot issue? You¡¯re a big official account, and you¡¯re an outstanding journalism student as well.¡±


    Yue Zhishi then added, ¡°You¡¯re the only good friend I have who¡¯s also a journalism student.¡±


    The words ¡®good friend¡¯ seem to have prodded something in Xu Lin. His face immediately stiffened, and he raised his chin, saying, ¡°Fine, fine. Mixed Sweetheart, since you¡¯re so pitiful with no one else to help you, I¡¯ll help you.¡±


    There were actually a lot of people helping him. Yue Zhishi pursed his lips and smiled. ¡°Thanks.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ve been meaning to do something about it. I was so angry after I heard.¡± Xu Lin had a cutely fierce look on his face. ¡°Even if you didn¡¯t come looking for me, I still would¡¯ve cursed out that homophobic guy. Send me everything you have later ¡ª I want to write an article with a massively high click-through rate and get everyone in Wuhan U to repost it.¡±


    Xu Lin was someone as good as his word. Compared to designing clothes, he was even more confident when doing what he was studying.


    Two days after the photos appeared, an official account posted an article titled [A new way to be a pick up artist in university: stalking, secret photo-taking, condemning posters ¡ª in any case, homosexual people are all damned!], and students in the university furiously reposted and forwarded it. Xu Lin not only wrote about the unauthorised photos, he even found many underclassmen Wang Zhi had bullied and included their experiences of being forced to drink until they couldn¡¯t find their way back to their dorms. He also added how Wang Zhi had taken the lead in bullying others in the basketball team, his writing bitingly humorous and extremely able to stimulate a reader¡¯s emotions.


    And in the article, he also explained Yue Zhishi and Song Yu¡¯s relationship very clearly.


    [They aren¡¯t brothers. They have no familial relationship ¡ª they¡¯re only two boys who have grown up with each other. Calling them ¡®immoral brothers¡¯ was merely a way to frame them. Within their relationship, they¡¯re no different from other young people. Can their love be trampled on and defiled just because they¡¯re the same gender? To quote the law school in the arts festival¡¯s clothing competition: we are so different, but we are all standing in the rain.


    And after the rain, the world needs rainbows.]


    When he saw his classmates reposting and supporting the article, Yue Zhishi sent Xu Lin a grateful WeChat.


    [Xu Lin: It¡¯s not like I tried all that hard, no need to worry about it.]


    Yue Zhishi felt he was honestly being tsundere, but he wasn¡¯t annoying at all; he sent Xu Lin many many adorable stickers. He then abruptly remembered something and sent Xu Lin a message.


    [Mixed Sweetheart: Oh right, are you really pursuing Shen Mi?]


    Xu Lin replied to that message instantly.


    [Xu Lin: Who said I was pursuing him!!!]


    Eh¡­


    Yue Zhishi really couldn¡¯t understand what they were doing.


    Most people were originally sitting by and simply watching after the photos had been exposed ¡ª Song Yu and Yue Zhishi were both excellent students with nothing to fault, so once the article exploded all over Moments, the wind immediately changed direction. So many people, when reposting, wrote [love is love] and included a rainbow emoji; after a few days, the matter essentially turned into a collective statement.


    In the end, both the school and the university released an announcement: they expressed they would strictly investigate the violation of student privacy.


    The night the announcement was released, Song Yu picked Yue Zhishi up from his self-study and told him, ¡°That loafer finally admitted it.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t thought that was possible. ¡°How did that happen?¡±


    ¡°Through the power of money,¡± Song Yu said.


    The situation had bubbled over to a point Wang Zhi had not expected. Countless amounts of Wuhan U students he¡¯d never met before, as well as students from surrounding universities, swarmed to all the social media platforms he could be found on and denounced his behaviour ¡ª to the point he couldn¡¯t even use his phone number normally anymore.


    Even though there was no lack of anti-homosexuality and homophobic voices, they could almost be completely ignored compared to the group of people protesting against Wang Zhi.


    And Yue Zhishi and Song Yu didn¡¯t care what they were saying.


    The school office called the three of them in together and requested Wang Zhi to apologise to Yue Zhishi and Song Yu. But Song Yu didn¡¯t accept it.


    ¡°I want him to apologise on a public platform. And he¡¯s not allowed to delete the apology.¡±


    ¡°You!¡± Wang Zhi remained defiant. ¡°I refuse to apologise publicly.¡±


    Song Yu gave him a kind smile. ¡°That¡¯s fine, I¡¯ve already contacted a lawyer to start legal proceedings.¡±


    Wang Zhi laughed, very unimpressed. ¡°Did you think I¡¯d be scared? If you think this is worth a lawsuit, then go ahead ¡ª since it won¡¯t be wasting my time.¡±


    ¡°I have money, and I also have the time. I¡¯m not bringing a lawsuit against you just for your tiny amount of compensation.¡± Song Yu stared coldly at him. ¡°I want you to seek employment with a lawsuit on your shoulders. I want you to experience how it feels to have everyone reject you.¡±


    The entire matter had started so spectacularly, but it ended much more calmly ¡ª at least, to Song Yu and Yue Zhishi. Or perhaps they were already used to living with their relationship in the open; perhaps they were used to occasionally being gawked at while eating in the cafeteria, or having an unclear photo of them being taken when going to the library together before it was sent away to some unknown place.


    As for Yue Zhishi, the biggest issue he had after coming out wasn¡¯t other people looking at them. But rather, Song Yu¡¯s pursuers.


    ¡°Why are there still people harassing you?¡± Yue Zhishi grabbed Song Yu¡¯s phone and unlocked it, crosslegged on the floor. There was a massive amount of friend requests on his WeChat, and he randomly opened one, indignantly reading one out loud. ¡°Gege, look at me! I¡¯ve never seen a 1 as handsome as you before in real life, please look at me!¡±


    He tapped open another one, and it was even more explicit. ¡°I¡¯m really good in bed gege, I can¡­¡­ What is this.¡± Yue Zhishi threw the phone back to Song Yu in anger. ¡°We shouldn¡¯t have come out.¡±


    Song Yu also plastered a rather troubled look on his face, but he was inwardly hoping for Yue Zhishi to read every single explicit message out to him.


    Of course, he didn¡¯t say that.


    Yue Zhishi turned around and fiddled with his own phone. Song Yu patted him a good few times from behind, but he didn¡¯t pay any attention to him.


    Song Yu finally couldn¡¯t take it anymore; he picked up Yue Zhishi completely, still in his crosslegged position, and placed him onto the sofa. ¡°The ground¡¯s cold.¡±


    ¡°I just finished posting.¡± Yue Zhishi threw his phone away, hooking his arms around Song Yu¡¯s neck.


    Finished posting what. Song Yu quizzically took his phone and looked at the Moments interface still on his screen.


    [Cheese1010: I already have a boyfriend. I wasn¡¯t pursued, I was the one who confessed (that¡¯s right don¡¯t mess with me). Please don¡¯t say ¡®I can¡¯ to him, no one else except me is allowed.]


    He included a photo of Song Yu¡¯s peacefully sleeping face. He even photoshopped a watermark onto Song Yu¡¯s face: belongs to Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°When¡¯d you take this?¡± Song Yu asked.


    ¡°During a random afternoon nap,¡± Yue Zhishi honestly replied, but his face still looked a bit annoyed.


    He really was number one at protecting his own food. Song Yu found him adorable, and lowered his head to kiss his soft and moisturised lips.


    ¡°A photo like that is going to make people think it was taken after sex.¡±


    ¡°Song Yu!¡±

 CH 99

    Chapter 99: Lingering Fears


    The aftereffects of coming out to the entire university weren¡¯t small ¡ª for example, that photo of them kissing was forwarded to the Christmas Kiss now event organiser¡¯s social media account and leaped to first place in the poll.


    And Yue Zhishi, who wasn¡¯t aware of that at all, suddenly received a delivery one day. It was a rainbow coloured toaster oven, and the delivery also contained a letter congratulating them for winning the prize and included the photo of them kissing. Only then did Yue Zhishi know he¡¯d won the Kiss now competition.


    ¡°They said their sponsor was a household electronics brand.¡± Yue Zhishi expressed his excitement to Song Yu at winning a prize based on his own ability and asked him to move the toaster oven into the apartment soon. ¡°It¡¯s so cute, isn¡¯t the colour really pretty? All thanks to me.¡±


    Song Yu smiled in the video call. ¡°You can¡¯t kiss by yourself.¡±


    ¡°True.¡± Admiring the oven, Yue Zhishi said very generously, ¡°Then I¡¯ll allow you to use it too.¡±


    Other than that, Song Yu instantly became the ideal type for many 0s around them and went through a very long time period of harassment. But Song Yu remained extraordinarily unmoved, and made it so his few social media accounts couldn¡¯t be added by others.


    And for another example, many girls spread the news of Yue Zhishi and Song Yu¡¯s relationship ¡ª except the actual plot wasn¡¯t quite right. Because Yue Zhishi had previously admitted in his Moments post that he was the one who¡¯d pursued Song Yu, everyone thought he¡¯d pined after Song Yu for many years. Yue Zhishi became quite vexed about this, so he didn¡¯t go to Song Yu¡¯s apartment for an entire two days, sleeping in his own dorm.


    And so Song Yu had Qin Yan come out and clear things up on the forums, and Qin Yan even specifically stressed the key points of ¡®Song Yu has pined after Yue Zhishi for many years¡¯, ¡®childhood sweethearts¡¯ and ¡®Song Yu has liked him since they were kids¡¯. For a time, their beautiful love story created waves of extreme excitement in female classmates who liked to ship real people.


    But because Qin Yan added in too much bitter yearning in his post, Song Yu, the cold guy with a paralysed face, was moulded into a love icon filled with melancholy. His popularity once again increased, and Yue Zhishi became even more annoyed.


    It was an eye for an eye, though: on a certain day, Song Yu went to the law school to look for Yue Zhishi after classes had finished. As luck would have it, he happened to see Yue Zhishi caught in the corridor by someone dressed in the volleyball team¡¯s uniform, chatting. The other guy was leaning in quite closely.


    Song Yu silently headed over; he thought he heard the guy asking for notes, but he kept talking about all sorts of random things ¡ª until he finally praised the colour of Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes as being especially gorgeous.


    ¡°Fellow student, he¡¯s not single. Please keep your distance.¡± Circling around the guy, Song Yu walked directly over to the astounded Yue Zhishi and took him away, slipping an arm around his waist. They hadn¡¯t walked two steps when they bumped into Shen Mi, who was grinning quite wickedly.


    His voice was full of taunting as he said, ¡°Serves senior Song Yu right.¡±


    For the entire next day, Song Yu kept staring at Yue Zhishi¡¯s eyes ¡ª Yue Zhishi could feel goosebumps popping up all over his body from his focus.


    ¡°I feel like he was just giving me a polite compliment,¡± he attempted.


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t polite at all.¡± Song Yu didn¡¯t hide a single shred of his discontent.


    But compared to secondary school, where students¡¯ worlds were much smaller, university was different ¡ª something that could¡¯ve been a serious matter in secondary school was nothing in university, and with the passage of time, the aftereffects gradually disappeared. After all, everyone in university had their own lives. It was like a lake; it didn¡¯t matter how large of a stone was dropped in or how big of an explosion it caused. Those ripples would always calm down.


    After they became used to those changes, Song Yu and Yue Zhishi could finally act like so many other couples on campus. They could draw out time from their stressful studies to eat and go on dates; they could hold each other if they wanted to embrace, and if they wanted to kiss, they didn¡¯t need to hide away.


    They merely received a few more second glances.


    The week of their final exams had been too difficult, Yue Zhishi having spent a good few days studying through the night in the library. He was utterly exhausted after finishing the exam for his final course, and he slept the entire way back home. He wouldn¡¯t wake up despite Song Yu¡¯s attempts to wake him up, and Yue Zhishi only abruptly startled awake when Song Yu said he was going to leave him behind ¡ª he then pitifully threw his arms around Song Yu, not yet recovered from the shock.


    On the first day of their break, Jiang Yufan¡¯s uncle, a manager at a cinema, gifted him with a bunch of movie tickets. Jiang Yufan then gave them to his friends, making plans with everyone to watch a movie together.


    They only discovered that they couldn¡¯t choose what movie to watch after arriving at the cinema. The movie currently showing was a disaster film with very good word of mouth and was focused on family. It talked about a family of five as they were met with a tidal wave; it was a story of how each of them fought for survival and found each other again.


    The film was very realistic, and it was also very well made. But the moment he saw the pair of mother and son reunite after having been separated the entire time in the disaster zone, Yue Zhishi used the excuse of going to the bathroom to exit the cinema room.


    He¡¯d overestimated his ability to handle it.


    Song Yu followed right behind him. He felt like he had been sitting even more uneasily than Yue Zhishi earlier in the dark cinema room, but once they left, he didn¡¯t say anything at all ¡ª he only held Yue Zhishi in his arms as they stood in the long corridor of the carpeted cinema.


    Holding back his distress, Yue Zhishi thought it was likely he would always be timid when it came to certain things. After one minute, he very honestly told Song Yu about that thought.


    Song Yu replied, you don¡¯t need to be too brave ¡ª leave me some space to love you.


    Once Yue Zhishi calmed down, he decided to head back into the cinema room. No one else knew he actually still had an instinctive fear of disasters, and neither did he want to reveal it. Except Song Yu pulled at his hand, stopping him, and sent a message to Jiang Yufan.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go have some cake.¡± The palm of Song Yu¡¯s hand was broad and dry, warmth diffusing from it. ¡°I saw a newly opened cake shop when we first arrived. It sells that berry cheesecake you like.¡±


    The cake shop had a dazzling array of sweets, yet Yue Zhishi could only choose from very few. Luckily, he was easily satisfied, and Yue Zhishi¡¯s mood brightened when he saw Song Yu frowning as he took a bite of a very sweet cake Yue Zhishi had asked him to try.


    Winter in this city was both wet and cold, like an old sponge soaked in cold water. Ever since starting their winter break, Yue Zhishi hadn¡¯t been able to be away from heaters; he even covered himself with blankets as he slept on the carpet during afternoon naps. Orange would be curled onto Yue Zhishi¡¯s belly, and Cotton Candy would be snuggled into his arms.


    Of course, Song Yu took a photo of that scene and saved it into his camera album.


    But even though they were on break, Song Yu didn¡¯t idle around, always processing remote sensing images while at home. Qin Yan occasionally dropped by, wanting to pull Song Yu out to play, but he would end up only with a free meal.


    ¡°You¡¯re working too hard, they¡¯re already working you like a dog despite you being only in fourth year. Hey, when are you going to have the time to go on a date with our Le Le? You a master at time management?¡± Qin Yan walked to the side of Song Yu¡¯s desk, bent over and peeked at the monthly schedule resting on top. Each grid was neat and orderly, check marks for [finished] covering all over.


    When he saw a grid marked in red for next week, Qin Yan squinted. ¡°Geez, your research group¡¯s heading out again?¡±


    ¡°We were just notified. The seismological bureau Professor He previously worked with invited him to Western Sichuan to analyse and measure the land subsidence. We¡¯re also going to grab some spatial observation data of the mountain areas while we¡¯re there.¡±


    Qin Yan had a headache just from listening, thinking only that Song Yu once again needed to suffer from lugging instruments. He patted Song Yu¡¯s shoulder like an elderly father, saying, ¡°All right then, work hard. Try to come back two days before Lunar New Year, my mom¡¯s going to send over some homemade dumplings.¡±


    Compared to many other people of the same age, Song Yu seemed to always be running ahead of everyone else on the racetrack of life. When others were struggling on entrance examinations, Song Yu had already completed and decided on his career path. When the majority of people in university were still engrossed in being students, Song Yu had already begun to realise the achievements of his work, little by little drawing closer to the life goal he¡¯d established as a child.


    He had always been able to rapidly reach his goals, creating plans one step ahead as he raced to grow up and mature. His feelings had been the same ¡ª it was a single ray delineated a very long time ago. The trajectory of his life was a perfectly linear growth, rising steadily and never falling.


    But even so, Song Yu had had never-ending patience as he¡¯d waited for Yue Zhishi to grow up.


    After walking Qin Yan out, Song Yu returned back upstairs. When he passed by Yue Zhishi¡¯s room, Yue Zhishi happened to be on the phone ¡ª he hadn¡¯t continued sleeping.


    ¡°Really? Then do you still need a week? Okay that¡¯s fine, let me see if there are any special dates coming up¡­ Ah, it doesn¡¯t look like there are. Ohh, the day before Lunar New Year¡¯s Eve¡­ I hope you guys can hurry and finish it earlier, please work a bit faster¡­¡±


    Yue Zhishi just then was wrapped in his blankets, facing his heater, as he talked on the phone. He suddenly felt Orange and Cotton Candy run away, and he naturally was a bit puzzled ¡ª when he turned around, he saw Song Yu standing behind him.


    ¡°You¡¯re awake?¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded blankly, and then he rapidly said to the person on the phone, ¡°Let me call you again later.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t ask about why he was acting so furtively, and that made Yue Zhishi feel lucky; although, when he thought about it a bit more, Song Yu truly never seemed to involve himself in his matters. Even when he hadn¡¯t gotten along with Shen Mi, he hadn¡¯t said anything along the lines of ¡®you can¡¯t be friends with him¡¯.


    ¡°I need to head out for fieldwork again.¡± Song Yu sat down, still wearing that pair of silver glasses he usually wore when working.


    ¡°When are you going?¡± Shifting closer to him, Yue Zhishi picked up Orange who¡¯d poked himself in between the two of them.


    ¡°Next week. I should be back before two days before Lunar New Year.¡± Song Yu faintly quirked an eyebrow. ¡°The day you were talking about on the phone.¡±


    ¡°As expected, you heard me.¡± Yue Zhishi leaned in to give Song Yu a kiss. ¡°Can you take me along this time?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think so.¡± Song Yu explained to him, ¡°Even though the place has nice scenery, it¡¯s still the Western Sichuan plateau. It won¡¯t be good for you to come.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll be fine.¡±


    ¡°Altitude sickness will affect your breathing.¡± Song Yu held onto his shoulders. ¡°Wait for me to come back. We¡¯ll go to Hokkaido.¡±


    He was like a master negotiator, holding techniques in the palm of his hand that could quickly persuade Yue Zhishi. He also had a trump card that never failed.


    If he couldn¡¯t persuade Yue Zhishi, then he¡¯d kiss him. Human mouths weren¡¯t to be used only for speaking, after all.


    It was slightly raining the day Song Yu left. Winter rain always seemed to be cold enough to pierce into the bones, and Yue Zhishi took off the light grey scarf he¡¯d worn out the house and very forcefully wrapped it around Song Yu¡¯s neck, worried he¡¯d be cold.


    They shared a very long kiss before separating, disregarding everything around them. Yue Zhishi fixed his eyes on Song Yu¡¯s receding back and his black mountaineering backpack; he really wanted to shrink himself smaller and smaller until he turned into a little pendant that didn¡¯t weigh anything or take up any space ¡ª he wanted to be tied onto the zipper of Song Yu¡¯s backpack, swaying and rocking, and go with him to every single corner of the earth.


    Three days later, Lin Rong suddenly received a phone call from her mom¡¯s caregiver in the middle of the night, saying her mom had been sent into the ER due to a cerebral haemorrhage. Song Jin was overseas, and so at 1am, Lin Rong and Yue Zhishi rushed to the hospital.


    It was hard to relax when surrounded by the smell of disinfectant. Yue Zhishi had complicated feelings towards death ¡ª he always felt it would be quite normal for himself to pass away at any given moment; accidents would always occur. But it was very difficult for him to accept it when the people around him were lingering between the border of life and death.


    He wasn¡¯t wearing much, and he sat uneasily in the hospital corridor, silently praying for grandma to pull through. Luckily, after the night passed, the hospital told them her condition was temporarily no longer life-threatening; Lin Rong and Yue Zhishi sighed in relief.


    Lin Rong ran back and forth for her mother, and Yue Zhishi also busied himself with helping her with various procedures. Song Jin returned back to the country the day after in the afternoon, and the moment he arrived in the hospital room, Lin Rong¡¯s tense nerves finally relaxed. Hugging Song Jin, she cried for a very long time. After she calmed down, she wrapped her arms around Yue Zhishi and said, ¡°Darling, you haven¡¯t slept all night. You should go back and rest.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t want to leave, holding onto Lin Rong quite tightly. He was unwilling to leave her, but the room couldn¡¯t hold so many people ¡ª Yue Zhishi could only leave by himself.


    As he travelled home, he gave Song Yu a call. His phone was turned off, so Yue Zhishi sent through many messages, asking if he was cold, how was he eating and sleeping.


    He slept all the way through to 10:30pm. Yue Zhishi saw Song Yu¡¯s messages when he woke up, and he¡¯d answered every single one of his questions like an artificial intelligence, saying it wasn¡¯t too cold, he¡¯d been eating well and he¡¯d been sleeping very well because he¡¯d been so tired. At the end, Song Yu gave him an extra response that went beyond Yue Zhishi¡¯s questions.


    [Arctic Circle: Everything¡¯s been fine. I just really miss you.]


    He¡¯d also gifted Yue Zhishi with a photo he¡¯d taken of the scenery; it held icebound lakes and snowy mountains peeking through in the distance.


    It was truly hard to endure missing him.


    Yue Zhishi sent over a voice message of I miss you too.


    He only received one piece of good news over the last few days ¡ª he received the items he¡¯d ordered ahead of time. They didn¡¯t arrive as slowly as he¡¯d imagined.


    Lin Rong didn¡¯t come home the entire night, and since Yue Zhishi had slept for too long during the afternoon, he couldn¡¯t sleep that night. He sat in the living room by himself and watched anime all night, heading out at 6am to buy some fruit and breakfast before heading to the hospital. Grandma seemed to be sleeping; Lin Rong was wiping down her arms with a towel soaked with warm water, appearing to be much more relaxed.


    Sitting down, Yue Zhishi peeled an apple each for her and Song Jin, and he talked to them very quietly about the plans Song Yu had made for their Hokkaido trip.


    He was chatting with Lin Rong when Jiang Yufan called Yue Zhishi and said he¡¯d found a store selling anime merchandise. At 12pm, the store was going to start selling one of the pieces of merchandise Yue Zhishi really wanted, as well as a limited edition commemorative booklet. Yue Zhishi was somewhat hesitant, but Lin Rong had heard some of their conversation; she guessed what it was about.


    ¡°You should go with Xiao Fan, Grandma¡¯s already fine. She only needs to stay in the hospital for observation, so it¡¯ll be fine with just us.¡±


    Only then did Yue Zhishi meet up with Jiang Yufan, the two of them seeing each other at the subway station. Jiang Yufan even bought him a brown sugar milk tea, and the two of them talked as they headed towards the store. There was a large, disorganised crowd of people in front of the entrance, all of them having arrived early, and it was the first time Yue Zhishi had experienced being around so many other people as otaku as he was.


    With nothing to do at home, Jiang Yufan had caught up on a lot of shows. He chattered away, promoting shows to Yue Zhishi one by one, and Yue Zhishi earnestly listened; he didn¡¯t find it all that boring to line up, only hoping the store would have a higher quantity of merchandise. He hoped he could buy what he wanted, so he could fill up another shelf in his room.


    Two girls were chatting and drinking milk tea in front of them, and they were dressed in lolita-style clothing. One of them lowered her head, checking her phone, and abruptly said, ¡°Oh no, there¡¯s an earthquake again.¡±


    ¡°What? What magnitude?¡±


    ¡°6.9¡­ Oh my god, it sounds so scary. I hope there won¡¯t be any deaths.¡±


    Yue Zhishi suddenly had a very bad premonition. He inwardly told himself to calm down, and then he pulled out his phone, checking Weibo.


    Jiang Yufan hadn¡¯t noticed the girls¡¯ conversation. He was on his tiptoes, glancing into the glass windows at the store¡¯s entrance, and said, ¡°I think they still have some, good, good¡­ Le Le, let¡¯s go eat some barbecue once we¡¯re done here, we haven¡¯t had barbecue in a really long time.¡±


    When he didn¡¯t receive an answer, he turned around and looked at Yue Zhishi ¡ª Yue Zhishi¡¯s face was pale.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°Earthquake¡­¡± Yue Zhishi mumbled to himself. He hurriedly and absent-mindedly said goodbye to Jiang Yufan, but he didn¡¯t actually know what he¡¯d said; he separated from the crowd with unsteady footsteps, running towards the street.


    In a gust of cold wind, he managed to flag down a taxi and hastily pulled open a door.


    ¡°To the airport.¡±

 CH 100

    Chapter 100: Rushing into the Abyss


    Yue Zhishi kept calling Song Yu the entire way to the airport, but his phone was turned off ¡ª and so he sent over many, many messages.


    His hands were shaking when he went to pay the taxi driver.


    The airport terminal was chaotic, the reflection of its ghostly pale lights on the floor blinding people¡¯s eyes. People were clustered around in small groups here and there, as though only he was by himself. Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t remember how he found his way to the counter, or how he explained himself to the people working behind it. When he thought about it later, he felt he must¡¯ve come across very distressed ¡ª because the staff member kept repeating to him again and again, ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ll help you look.¡±


    His mind was in an utter mess; he only remembered he¡¯d said he wanted to go to West city, and he¡¯d wanted the quickest flight.


    After the staff member checked the available flights, they very politely gave him a negative answer.


    There were no direct flights.


    He couldn¡¯t immediately, in the shortest time frame possible, search for Song Yu.


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand was pressing down onto the counter¡¯s ice cold surface ¡ª he was pressing down quite heavily. Someone rushed next to him to buy a ticket, and when he pulled over his luggage, it knocked into Yue Zhishi¡¯s knee and shin. Yue Zhishi swayed, and he crouched down in front of the counter, feeling like he¡¯d wasted his entire journey.


    He could hear that person continuously apologising to him, asking if he was okay. Yue Zhishi could only nod his head; he couldn¡¯t stand back up right away.


    After one minute had passed, the person left with his ticket. Yue Zhishi finally gathered enough energy, and he held onto the counter and took in a deep breath. He slowly stood up and asked about transit flights.


    In a roundabout way, he managed to purchase a seat on a flight to the provincial capital that was just about to take off.


    Yue Zhishi was very grateful he¡¯d brought his wallet out the door today in order to buy his anime merchandise. He carried a complete set of his ID cards.


    It was raining outside, the sky a cold and lonely off-white colour. Fog was everywhere outside the glass passageway to the boarding gate. He was still calling Song Yu when the plane lifted off, but his calls wouldn¡¯t go through no matter how many times he tried. He was both angry and scared, but there was nothing else he could do.


    He once again took a flight by himself.


    At 30,000 feet above in the air, the sky was covered in shades of grey ¡ª and yet Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart still remained within the rain.


    To Yue Zhishi, the short two hour flight went slowly, a year passing for each second that ticked over. It was very difficult for him to not think about the worst outcome; he even couldn¡¯t help but blame himself for the bad luck.


    He was being pulled apart. Half of him was flooded with the grief and agony caused by his fevered imagination, of seeing real ruins and remains, of seeing ghostly images hovering around and crying for help. The other half of him was filled with the layers and layers of courage he¡¯d forcefully extracted out for Song Yu ¡ª enough so that he could try to calm down, so that his common sense could possibly attempt to dispel his panic.


    Song Yu.


    Song Yu. Song Yu.


    He silently recited Song Yu¡¯s name again and again, using it as a way to cope with the stress.


    His phone didn¡¯t have much battery left, so Yue Zhishi turned it off, planning on turning it back on after he landed. The flight attendant passed by; he called out to her in a fluster.


    ¡°Hello, how can I help?¡±


    ¡°A cup of warm water please, thank you.¡± He quickly added, ¡°And I¡¯d also like some paper and a pen¡­ It doesn¡¯t matter what type.¡±


    The attendant gave him the cup of water very quickly, as well as a felt-tip pen and a piece of white paper. There was an ache in Yue Zhishi¡¯s chest, and his chest felt like an airbag slowly losing air with his heart compressed into a heavy shot put ball, mercilessly weighing it down. His stomach didn¡¯t feel well either ¡ª Yue Zhishi finished all of his water, a hand pressed against his belly, his other hand straining to write on that piece of paper.


    He knew very well he was acting very impetuously. He¡¯d gotten onto a plane without any clear plans and hadn¡¯t notified his family, and he¡¯d even completely ignored Jiang Yufan, who¡¯d been with him when he¡¯d heard the news. He was acting so abnormally ¡ª he wasn¡¯t like an adult at all.


    Right now, what he needed to do was calm down. Before he landed, he needed to produce an actual workable plan to go look for Song Yu.


    Yue Zhishi did his best to recall the suggestions that staff member had given him at the airport counter. The next connecting flight would¡¯ve needed him to wait for an entire night, and when the staff member had seen him unwilling to wait for it, they¡¯d immediately suggested taking a coach bus.


    He wrote down the name of the bus station and wrote down next to it all of the things he needed to buy as soon as he got off the plane, such as various different kinds of medication, necessary clothes, phone battery pack, water, a sufficient amount of cash¡­ No matter what he thought of, Yue Zhishi would instantly write it down ¡ª he was afraid he would forget it later in his hurry to get off the plane.


    And then, he had no choice but to think of the worst outcome: what should he do if Song Yu continued to remain unreachable. He couldn¡¯t think straight, even though Yue Zhishi had clearly done his utter most to calm down; his unfocused eyes could only see dizzying swirls, his breathing short and chest tight. He thought these might be his psychological responses to imagining a disaster, and so he took out his inhaler from his pocket, just in case.


    Song Yu. Song Yu¡­


    Yue Zhishi silently said his name again and again, his emotions calming. He closed his eyes; he searched for clues in the dark. He immensely regretted not having visited Song Yu¡¯s new research lab ¡ª he didn¡¯t have contact details for anyone in his research group. Suddenly, he remembered he knew a senior in Song Yu¡¯s previous research lab, and so he wrote down her name, scribbling next to it call after getting off the plane.


    His mind rapidly thought of Professor He. Even though he didn¡¯t have his phone number, he thought the university website would definitely have Professor He¡¯s email address. It didn¡¯t matter; it was a good thing to find an email address at this time. A great number of thoughts and ideas instantly swept through Yue Zhishi¡¯s brain.


    He¡¯d definitely be able to find Song Yu.


    Once that thought emerged, Yue Zhishi¡¯s anxiety slowly ebbed away.


    At the end, he exited the plane with that paper scribbled full with plans. It was only 2:30 in the afternoon, and yet this city seemed to be nearing a cold and gloomy night, the sky dark and murky. Yue Zhishi had nothing but himself ¡ª he didn¡¯t even have a single piece of luggage.


    He turned on his phone as soon as he landed, and he received many, many messages and missed calls from Jiang Yufan. It was very difficult for Yue Zhishi to think of other things right now, and so he sent back a brief message, telling Jiang Yufan to not worry. And then, he called Song Yu.


    The phone remained turned off.


    He¡¯d never hated Song Yu so much before. He hated his disappearance and non-response, but after one second, his eyes misted over with tears. His heart weakened too quickly ¡ª there was no way he could blame Song Yu for a minute, for a second. He only hoped Song Yu could hurry up and quickly accept his calls.


    If he really did end up seeing Song Yu, Yue Zhishi thought he would throw a massive fit of temper. He would yell at him, hit him; he¡¯d interrogate Song Yu why he didn¡¯t pick up his calls, why he didn¡¯t contact him.


    He carried those resolute intentions all the way to the pickup area. There were so many people outside, and the joy at reuniting was written on everyone¡¯s faces as they waved their hands at the people they were here to pick up, as they called out the other person¡¯s name.


    But only the sound of an unreachable phone rang next to Yue Zhishi¡¯s ear.


    Lowering his eyes, he hung up his call and hurriedly walked out. He got into a taxi, his hand clenched on that piece of paper filled with plans. The driver was an enthusiastic person: when he heard Yue Zhishi was in a rush, he drove very quickly.


    ¡°Are you here by yourself? Why don¡¯t you have even a piece of luggage?¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s mood was extraordinarily terrible, but it seemed very impolite to not respond. He briefly said, ¡°I¡¯m looking for someone. I need to go to West city.¡±


    The driver seemed to understand something, seeing Yue Zhishi¡¯s tightly drawn eyebrows, and so he let out an ¡®oh¡¯ and remained silent for a period of time. He later couldn¡¯t help but say, ¡°Don¡¯t be anxious, handsome guy.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s nose suddenly started to burn, but he held it back.


    ¡°Mn.¡±


    The driver took him to a large shopping centre, and Yue Zhishi left after saying thank you.


    He was usually someone who could aimlessly wander around for an entire day, but at a time like this, Yue Zhishi abruptly turned into an efficient, mature adult. With the detailed list in his hands, he bought every single item he needed and went immediately to the bathroom after paying. He changed into the thick mountaineering jacket and warm clothes ¡ª he didn¡¯t want to fall sick before finding Song Yu. He would come across as too useless, if he did.


    The station for the coach bus was even more chaotic than he¡¯d imagined. Perhaps it was because Yue Zhishi was particularly sensitive right now, but to his ears, the sound of anyone¡¯s voice seemed to be amplified countless times ¡ª the station seemed so very noisy, so very messy. He carried his extremely heavy backpack and went to the ticket counter.


    The ticket seller didn¡¯t have a good look on his face when he heard where Yue Zhishi wanted to go. His voice transmitted through the window intercom and stabbed at Yue Zhishi¡¯s ears.


    ¡°That place just had an earthquake. You didn¡¯t know?¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded a bit belatedly, but then, worried his response would be misunderstood, he quickly said, ¡°I know.¡±


    The ticket seller seemed to think something was not quite right with Yue Zhishi, so he repeated, ¡°I said, West city just had an earthquake. Do you still want to go? A lot of people are refunding their tickets.¡±


    ¡°I know there was an earthquake there.¡± Yue Zhishi still wanted to say something, frowning, but he suddenly couldn¡¯t speak. He quickly looked elsewhere, but in the end, he still couldn¡¯t stifle his emotions.


    He hadn¡¯t cried when he¡¯d first heard the news. He also hadn¡¯t cried when he¡¯d taken the plane by himself. Over this long period of time, when he hadn¡¯t been able to get in touch with Song Yu at all, he hadn¡¯t dropped a single tear.


    It was here, at a foreign ticket counter over 300 kilometres away from the disaster area, that he once again heard about the earthquake. That nerve Yue Zhishi had kept tightly, desperately strung seemed to suddenly snap.


    He knit his eyebrows together ¡ª his pair of stubbornly wide-open eyes filled with tears, and when his eyes couldn¡¯t hold them in anymore, they started to slide down.


    But he couldn¡¯t break down. It wasn¡¯t the right time yet.


    Yue Zhishi used his sleeve to wipe away his tears, and he repeated, eyes red, ¡°I need to go. How much is the ticket?¡±


    The ticket seller¡¯s voice turned slightly softer, and he gave him a number. Yue Zhishi fumbled out his wallet, searching around for his ID card, but he couldn¡¯t quite remember the compartment he¡¯d placed it in. When he found it, pulling it out in a fluster, he also pulled out a folded piece of paper.


    It was the response Song Yu had once written on his textbook.


    A certain corner of Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart seemed to cave in, sorrow and grief flooding through. But he didn¡¯t have the time to feel it ¡ª he could only push the paper back into his wallet and take the bus ticket and his ID card from the ticket seller.


    ¡°This is the last bus. All of the later ones have been cancelled.¡±


    He got carsick very easily, so he normally would never take a coach bus. This journey would take seven hours. To the past Yue Zhishi, those seven hours would be an endless length of time he wouldn¡¯t have been able to handle, let alone the fact his destination this time was a place he feared the most, was frightened of the most ¡ª a disaster zone.


    But when he thought of how he might be able to see Song Yu after those seven hours, the journey didn¡¯t seem to be so tortuous.


    For Song Yu, he could grab onto every single vague and uncertain chance to be together with him. He could give up a future life filled with happiness in exchange for the short period of time ¡®trying¡¯ with Song Yu ¡ª he could also, for Song Yu, try his best to repair his defect of not being able to calmly, openly accept being loved.


    He wasn¡¯t all that brave, but if Song Yu was lost in Yue Zhishi¡¯s most dreaded abyss, Yue Zhishi would still jump in without a single shred of hesitation.


    Once he got on the bus, his thick outer coat and bag pressed into Yue Zhishi¡¯s body in that not-large-enough seat. A dizzying smell filled the car, and the countless beads of dust seemed to be floating in the dry air.


    He put in his earbuds, continuing to send out calls on his phone attached to the battery pack. When the line made a sound, the call ending with a click, he would once again press through another call.


    In a gap of time between hearing the sound of disconnection, Yue Zhishi somewhat strenuously twisted open a bottle of water, pulled out the medicine to prevent altitude sickness and swallowed down the many, many tablets in his hand. One tablet seemed particularly large, sticking in his throat.


    His calls remained unable to be connected.


    Yue Zhishi took a few more sips of water, coughing for a while, and then he unfolded that crumpled piece of paper. He read through all of the items listed on it, drew a line through the things he¡¯d already completed and then attempted to contact Song Yu¡¯s senior sister. She responded after twelve minutes, but she didn¡¯t know anything, very helpfully saying she would help Yue Zhishi ask other students.


    He then started to search through the university website, looking for a way to contact Professor He, only to end up with an office number and email address. Yue Zhishi tried calling the office number, but as expected, no one picked up. He spent ten minutes writing an email and then sent it over to Professor He using his own university email.


    But he didn¡¯t hold much hope towards an email response. He knew, in circumstances like these, no one had the time to look at their emails.


    Hope once again turned distant.


    As Yue Zhishi looked out at the grey sky outside the window, he pulled out that paper again ¡ª the paper filled with Song Yu¡¯s name and the single word Song Yu had given him at the end.


    He really, really hoped Song Yu could respond to him again, just like that. It would be fine even if it was just one word.


    The coach bus swayed as it drove ahead, and Yue Zhishi felt really dizzy, really wanting to vomit. He didn¡¯t know if what he was feeling were side effects of the altitude sickness medication, or if he was truly too tired. In a daze, he closed his eyes and leaned against the car window, falling asleep with the swaying and the rocking. He also had a dream. In his dream, he once again got into a taxi, arrived at the airport and went through security to board the plane alone by himself. It was as though he was given another passing look at his chaotic day.


    But at the end of his dream, the coach bus he was sitting in crashed into a truck; he jumped awake in the midst of the screeching of brakes and sounds of crashing.


    The car window was fogged over, a field of white outside. Yue Zhishi, awoken from his dream, stretched out a hand in a bit of confusion and wiped away a small section of the fog on the glass window.


    The passenger next to him opened his mouth, using a dialect Yue Zhishi could partially understand to say, ¡°That¡¯s a heavy snowstorm. What should I do, they just had an earthquake too¡­ I still need to hurry back and see my mom, she¡¯s alone by herself.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart sunk down slowly, bit by bit. He looked at his phone, only then realising he¡¯d slept too deeply; he hadn¡¯t noticed Lin Rong¡¯s call.


    She seemed to be busy, taking care of her mom, and had yet to hear the news about the earthquake. She¡¯d even sent him a message, asking if he would come home for dinner.


    After thinking for a while, Yue Zhishi told her he wouldn¡¯t be coming back that night. He didn¡¯t want to tell Lin Rong about the news ¡ª she¡¯d been too overworked lately, and she would definitely find it hard to accept Song Yu getting into an accident while out on fieldwork. She might even collapse.


    One minuter later, he received Lin Rong¡¯s response.


    [Aunt Rong: Then make sure you eat well. Be careful, take care of yourself.]


    The snow outside the window was truly falling very heavily, enough so that the bus started to slow down quite obviously. Yue Zhishi could feel himself getting alarmed.


    Someone asked the driver if they would be late, and the driver responded with an unclear answer. It was like a vicious cycle: the more uncertain of an answer they received, the more uncontrollable people¡¯s emotions would become.


    A small child in front of him started to cry, his wails particularly loud. The carriage became even more noisy, and so Yue Zhishi lowered his head and pulled out a pouch of candy from his bag. He¡¯d purchased it earlier, afraid he would be dizzy from low blood sugar if he didn¡¯t have the time to eat. Tearing the pouch open, he grabbed out a few pieces and stretched out his hand in the space between the two seats in front of him; he handed the candy to the young mother, who was currently trying to soothe her child.


    She was very surprised, and when she processed what he¡¯d done, she kept expressing to him her gratitude. The child stopped crying, clutching onto the red candy Yue Zhishi had given him, and tearfully said thank you under the coaxing of his mother.


    Yue Zhishi shook his head, he himself peeling open a candy and throwing it into his mouth. He then continued sending messages to Song Yu. When he saw the option to call, he couldn¡¯t help but tap it, sending through a video call request.


    Even though he clearly knew no one would pick up.


    He abruptly realised he was no longer that frightened; his hands were no longer shaking so uncontrollably.


    But he sunk into a feeling of emptiness, vast and boundless. His consciousness was like sluggishly flowing icy water, trickling drip by drip into his body before arriving at his heart.


    All of his ideas and thoughts, the plan he¡¯d worked so hard to write down ¡ª they were abandoned by his slowly running consciousness. In the end, when his consciousness finally poured fully into his heart, he had only Song Yu¡¯s name.


    The bus still eventually arrived at its destination, and even though the journey had required three extra hours, it was the second thing Yue Zhishi felt grateful for in this long, endless day.


    There were very few people at the bus station at the early hours of the morning, and it was especially cold. Yue Zhishi pulled on his jacket¡¯s hood before getting off the bus. The side effects of the altitude sickness medication didn¡¯t seem to be too severe; Yue Zhishi found it a bit hard to breathe and his head very much hurt, but those symptoms matched what he¡¯d found online for altitude sickness. Yue Zhishi wasn¡¯t too worried.


    He tried to reduce the symptoms by breathing in a way he¡¯d seen online ¡ª breathing in and exhaling out in small, tiny breaths. But it didn¡¯t really help with what he was feeling.


    There were many people dressed in firefighter uniforms outside. They seemed to be inspecting every single passenger who¡¯d arrived, as well as restricting some of them from continuing ahead.


    People were lined up to go outside. There were even volunteers on duty in the middle of the night, dressed in thick black down jackets, and they asked every passenger detailed questions about why they were here; they even recorded down the passengers¡¯ names and contact information, continuously stressing that there might still be some incoming aftershocks.


    The snow was falling, quick and fast, and the bus station rapidly needed to shut down. Yue Zhishi was thankful he managed to get onto the last bus.


    A volunteer with a red armband collected his personal information, and another issued him with an emergency pack and an emergency response guide. When he was questioned why he was here, Yue Zhishi quickly replied, ¡°I¡¯m looking for my boyfriend.¡±


    It wasn¡¯t a place of higher learning here ¡ª some people around him gave him strange looks.


    But that young female volunteer only temporarily paused, and then she asked a few more questions. ¡°Then where is your boyfriend right now? Is he a local? Are you able to contact him?¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head. ¡°He¡¯s not a local. I can¡¯t get in touch with him, he came here to do surveying work, and now¡­¡±


    She pulled Yue Zhishi over to a side and said, ¡°It¡¯s okay, you can talk slowly. What kind of surveying work is he doing?¡±


    Thinking she might be able to help, Yue Zhishi hurriedly explained Song Yu¡¯s work. He emphasised, ¡°If he isn¡¯t injured, he should have gone to help with the emergency rescue work. But I can¡¯t seem to contact him.¡±


    Yue Zhishi thought of something. ¡°Do you have the phone number for the local earthquake emergency rescue command centre?¡±


    ¡°I think so.¡± The female volunteer frowned, and she pulled out an old notebook. After finding the right number, she dialled it ¡ª only to have the line continuously busy. She then called a friend currently volunteering at the earthquake command centre, but the other person also didn¡¯t pick up.


    ¡°In situations like these, it¡¯d be really hard to get through to the command centre.¡± Another volunteer headed towards them. ¡°They¡¯d be ridiculously busy right now.¡±


    ¡°Has the area been badly affected?¡± Yue Zhishi asked.


    That person explained, ¡°We¡¯re not in the epicentre here. You won¡¯t be able to keep driving if you headed a bit further west. A lot of houses have collapsed over there.¡± He pointed at a coach bus stopped by the side of the road, its lights on. ¡°Do you see the bus there? A bunch of medical emergency and rescue teams have just arrived from the provincial capital, they¡¯re going to head to the disaster zone soon. I¡¯d advise you to not go ¡ª it¡¯s really chaotic over there right now. No one¡¯ll be able to take care of you, they don¡¯t even have the time to eat.¡±


    Pulling out a cigarette, he groped over himself for a while, but when he couldn¡¯t find a lighter, he pushed the cigarette back into its pack. ¡°Just forget about it, young man. Wait overnight at a nearby hotel, and see how things are like tomorrow in the morning.¡±


    Except Yue Zhishi¡¯s attention was completely caught by that bus. He took two steps over in that direction, and the female volunteer pulled him back. ¡°Hey, where are you going? That bus won¡¯t take outsiders.¡±


    ¡°My boyfriend¡¯s over there,¡± Yue Zhishi said, voice very soft, very weak. Worried she couldn¡¯t hear him, he repeated again in a slightly louder voice, ¡°He might be helping with the emergency rescue work. Their work¡¯s really important, it could save a lot of people.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s really young, only twenty two years old. He¡¯d only just started doing emergency mapping, this is only the second time he¡¯s come out for fieldwork after changing researching directions¡­ I¡¯ve called him so many times, and sent him so many messages¡­.¡±


    There was no colour on Yue Zhishi¡¯s face. He spoke very slowly, not much logical flow to his words, and the bag on his back looked like it could crush him from its weight. And yet he was being very stubborn; he looked like he was struggling so hard to breathe, but he kept opening his mouth, kept attempting to persuade them. ¡°I know he¡¯s there, I just want to try looking for him. Please, can you help me?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t¡­ don¡¯t you guys also have to compile a list of missing people?¡± Yue Zhishi stood in the cold wind, his right hand clenched on his left arm. ¡°If I can determine he¡¯s missing, then you¡­ can also¡­¡±


    He couldn¡¯t continue on. He¡¯d done all he could.


    ¡°Ah, seriously.¡± The man who¡¯d unsuccessfully tried to smoke fished out his car keys. ¡°I need to head to the epicentre later to take over someone¡¯s shift. I¡¯ll take you over.¡±


    Yue Zhishi finally seized onto a shred of hope. ¡°Really? Thank you¡­ Thank you so much.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t thank me, I¡¯m afraid I¡¯ll be harming you.¡± The man opened his car doors. ¡°A lot of people have already come looking for their family members. You¡¯re a bit late ¡ª many people have since been taken away.¡±


    But he¡¯d already tried his best.


    That female volunteer got into the car as well. The car didn¡¯t have much space, the car trunk and seats filled with pop up tents and crates of water. The male volunteer freed up some space for Yue Zhishi and told him he needed to have his seatbelt on securely.


    The snow had stopped, but it covered the roads thickly and made it hard to drive. After driving for one kilometre, Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but look outside ¡ª the sky was too dark, and as he leaned against the car window, he could only see faint outlines of those broken buildings and collapsed homes. He couldn¡¯t see them clearly, but fine pinpricks of pain still rose in his heart, his breathing stuttering. Those stabbing feelings continuously extended out before finally spreading over his entire body.


    In his seat, Yue Zhishi bent over at the waist and curled into his belly, pulling in small breaths of air. The altitude sickness, his stress reactions towards disasters and his longing for Song Yu ¡ª they were all torturing him in complicated and multiple ways.


    He was so afraid of his asthma flaring up. One hand gripped his phone, while his other hand clutched his inhaler.


    The female volunteer kept looking back at him in concern, asking if he was suffering from altitude sickness, if he¡¯d had any food and if he wanted to eat anything. Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t really force out words, so he shook his head and then grabbed out some things he could eat from his bag. He stuffed the food into his mouth, chewing automatically like a machine, and swallowed it down with the water he didn¡¯t finish on the bus.


    The road they were originally driving on had some cracks in the ground, so they changed to another, the time it would take to get to the epicentre now slightly longer. Yue Zhishi once again tried to call Song Yu, but another ringtone rang in the quiet car.


    ¡°It¡¯s my friend.¡± The female volunteer raised her voice and rapidly accepted the call. ¡°Hello? Yes, I met a boy here, he¡¯s looking for a guy doing emergency mapping at the epicentre. The guy¡¯s twenty two years old, young, and he should be here with a group led by a professor. Mn¡­ he said he¡¯s his boyfriend¡­ Anyway, can you help me ask around? Okay, thanks¡­¡±


    She reported over her current location in detail as well as the shelter area she was about to arrive at before hanging up. Turning over from the passenger seat, she consoled Yue Zhishi and said, ¡°I¡¯ve already asked my friend to look around, don¡¯t worry.¡±


    Yue Zhishi said thank you many many times, the sound of his voice very thin.


    ¡°It¡¯s fine, I was originally responsible for recording people down anyway. Looking for someone is also part of my duty.¡±


    The male volunteer kept looking at him in the rearview mirror. ¡°Young man, your altitude sickness¡¯s pretty serious.¡±


    He felt like his mind might¡¯ve been separated from his body. He was very used to the feeling of not being able to breathe smoothly, so when the man said he looked like he was seriously suffering, Yue Zhishi only gave him a confused look.


    ¡°We¡¯re almost there, we¡¯re almost there.¡±


    The female volunteer also thought he didn¡¯t look right, so she pulled out a portable bottle of oxygen from her own mountaineering bag, handing it to Yue Zhishi in the rocking car. ¡°Here, hold this. I¡¯ll teach you how to use it.¡±


    He didn¡¯t really want to take it ¡ª he didn¡¯t want to waste other people¡¯s oxygen.


    ¡°Hurry up and take it. I still have more, and plus I¡¯m a local. I don¡¯t feel the altitude as badly.¡± Drawing off the dust cover, she inserted the transparent oxygen mask into the nozzle and pushed it into Yue Zhishi¡¯s hands. ¡°Face the mask and press down on the pump head for oxygen.¡±


    The car stopped in the darkness, the doors opening. The female volunteer urged him to not go blindly searching for Song Yu and also refused to let him go, saying there was a possibility of aftershocks happening at any time here.


    ¡°Just wait here, my friend¡¯s already helping you search.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded, getting off the car while inhaling in the oxygen. His feet seemed to be floating, and when he found a bit of steadiness, he checked his phone. When he realised it was turned off, he rushed to turn it back on, but it wouldn¡¯t light up no matter what he tried.


    ¡°It¡¯s too cold, it¡¯s almost twenty degrees below zero. Phones turn off from the cold very easily here.¡± The female volunteer reminded him, ¡°Don¡¯t let your hands freeze, you¡¯re not even wearing gloves.¡±


    Looking at the heavy layers of snow, Yue Zhishi could only return his phone to his pocket before pushing the oxygen bottle in his other hand into his bag¡¯s side pocket. He started to help the male volunteer move the things in his car.


    ¡°Hey, don¡¯t move!¡± The guy caught onto his arms, but he heard Yue Zhishi softly say, since there are no news, I just want to help out.


    ¡°All right¡­¡± the guy sighed. ¡°Be careful, they¡¯re very heavy.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t dare try to carefully look around the disaster area; he didn¡¯t dare look at the crumbled houses or their debris. Only fields of white snow were in front of his eyes. He blindly followed the male volunteer when moving the goods, and then waited for their friend to send over some news.


    He needed to do some more things ¡ª he needed to accumulate some more good luck. His luck was truly too terrible.


    Then he absentmindedly thought ¡ª would he not look devoted enough, acting like this?


    But he truly did hope he would have good luck, this one time.


    After moving across all the water to the shelter area, Yue Zhishi felt a bit like he couldn¡¯t continue on anymore. He was helping the others pitch the fourth tent when he felt a dull pain in his chest, and so he swiftly crouched down and inhaled some oxygen for a few minutes, trying to alleviate his altitude sickness. From far away, he seemed to hear someone crying, bitterly sobbing in loud wails, and a great grief rose in his heart.


    Forcefully pushing himself up, Yue Zhishi went and grabbed another tent to set up. He was much more familiar with the process now ¡ª he could now instantly find where to push in the rods and prop up one side for the rest to follow.


    Once he finished one tent by himself, a tiny sense of achievement swelled in Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart. But it didn¡¯t last for long; his emotions turned numb again very quickly, and he silently grabbed another tent.


    He thought he could also successfully pitch this new tent, but after he finished setting it up, he realised one side of it was ripped, wind rushing through the split and scraping on his face like a knife. Yue Zhishi stood in the snow by himself, his sneakers almost completely covered. Some of the snow had already melted, and water was seeping into his feet ¡ª both of his legs had long since gone numb from the cold.


    The large blue tent blocked his entire line of sight, and he could only see light through a small crack. He turned around, saying something to the busy volunteer behind him, but his voice was too weak. The other person didn¡¯t hear him at all.


    ¡°I¡¯ll pack it up then,¡± Yue Zhishi absently said to himself. Pulling out the tent rods, he accidentally cut his hand, but he already couldn¡¯t feel anything; his fingers were blue from the chill.


    As soon as the rods were pulled away, the tent gradually fell down. His palms were on the snow covered ground, and he pushed himself back up very painfully ¡ª the black night and white snow once again returned to Yue Zhishi¡¯s vision.


    And other than those things, he also saw a tall person. He was wearing the blue down jacket Yue Zhishi had once praised as nice-looking, and he held an old phone in his left hand. His other sleeve was empty. His body carried a white work badge, as well as something else: a white strap hung from his neck, and an oxygen bottle with nasal cannulas was behind him. The oxygen tubes were hooked around his ears, and he was running around with another volunteer, searching.


    At a certain point in time, that person¡¯s frantic eyes lined up with Yue Zhishi¡¯s confused gaze.


    For a single moment, Yue Zhishi felt like he¡¯d died, his consciousness drifting away from his cold and stiff body ¡ª until Song Yu truly ran over and appeared in front of him.


    He wanted to make sure he wasn¡¯t hallucinating, but in the next instant, the Song Yu in front of him reached out his left hand and pulled Yue Zhishi in, calling out his name with his head lowered.


    ¡°Yue Zhishi, Yue Zhishi¡­¡±


    It was so very rare to hear Song Yu¡¯s voice trembling. He was saying how are you here, who let you come.


    Yue Zhishi was desperately trying to breathe, and his brain also felt so very dull. He felt like he couldn¡¯t truly hear what Song Yu was saying.


    ¡°Song Yu¡­¡± His voice was thin and fragile, like a patch of snow about to melt in his arms. He called out Song Yu¡¯s name many, many times and received a response just as many times in return, but Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t answer Song Yu¡¯s questions. For a moment, he forgot why he was here, and he even also forgot what he¡¯d initially planned on saying when he finally saw Song Yu.


    He only left his head lowered, holding back his tears, and sobbed as he lifted his hands to scrub away the tears on his face.


    ¡°Song Yu, I know how to pitch tents now. I set up all of those myself¡­¡±

 CH 101

    Chapter 101: Burdened to Continue Ahead


    When the earthquake started, Song Yu was operating a drone in the surveyor control vehicle, inhaling oxygen.


    The earthquake vibrations were very violent ¡ª the car had shock absorbers, but it still kept rocking back and forth. In order to protect the special machine designed specifically for high-precision surveying in alpine areas, Song Yu remained at the control panel until a heavy instrument crashed down from its fixed position on his right.


    The instrument injured his hand, and it also smashed the cellphone that was currently broadcasting and transmitting images on the console.


    When the instrument was moved away, his arm instantly throbbed with sharp pain. Half of his body¡¯s energy seemed to be sucked away. The car¡¯s emergency alarm was already ringing, his fellow research group members were screaming, and he could hear the communicator device being abruptly cut off.


    It was very chaotic.


    Song Yu could still be considered calm, immediately saving the drone¡¯s data before getting off the control vehicle with the help of a senior. He realised he¡¯d left his phone in the car as he was getting off, and he wanted to get back inside to grab it ¡ª only to be restrained by another senior, forcefully pulling him to an open area to wait for rescue.


    Every single person in the emergency surveying team had already gone through emergency training when they¡¯d first entered the team. Everyone safely found shelter, and in the entire team, only Song Yu had been injured. Except two seniors were working separately away from the team on surface surveying, and the team was worried about them.


    They were on a plateau in a relatively remote location, their backs against the snow mountains. A few cell towers had been damaged by the vibrations, and so they essentially had no cellphone reception.


    ¡°I can¡¯t call, there¡¯s no signal.¡±


    ¡°Same with me.¡±


    There were ten people in the entire team, including Professor He. With two members away, only five of the remaining people had cellphones with them, and only one of them had a battery pack. No one was able to successfully send out a call. They didn¡¯t have enough oxygen, and right now, they couldn¡¯t even find medical assistance for Song Yu¡¯s injury.


    Professor He had been working with the director of the local seismological bureau, and after the earthquake, he immediately requested assistance from Professor He¡¯s team.


    It would take time for the provincial surveying team to arrive, and right now, what the local search and rescue workers needed most was time, as well as people to monitor the disaster conditions. Professor He¡¯s team was their best choice.


    Even though they were in such a desperate and critical situation, Professor He didn¡¯t decisively agree. He said to the young people he¡¯d brought over, ¡°If you guys want to go back, you need to head back now. No one will be able to predict what will happen later.¡±


    ¡°Especially you.¡± Professor He glanced at the injured Song Yu, inwardly sighing. He felt Song Yu was someone who would succeed especially well in this field, and he didn¡¯t want him to be frightened of emergency surveying because of this.


    ¡°I can get them to drive you guys out. Get yourselves ready.¡±


    No one wanted to leave.


    ¡°I¡¯m not going back.¡± The first person to speak was a senior sister. ¡°We¡¯re studying emergency rescue. What are we doing here if we leave now?¡± Pulling out a paper and a pen from her bag, she wrote down a notice of agreement and signed her name at the bottom before handing it to Professor He.


    ¡°Professor, I¡¯m not leaving if you¡¯re not,¡± she may have said, but her hands were trembling.


    This disaster was utterly outside anyone¡¯s expectations ¡ª and now, they were suddenly tasked with a mission, something they shouldn¡¯t be doing to begin with.


    No one would be truly unafraid.


    Before Professor He could take the piece of paper, it was snatched away by other students. In a swaying, temporary shelter, the students signed the paper one by one. Song Yu, who¡¯d only just entered the team, was the last person to sign.


    He didn¡¯t say a single thing. He scribbled down his name with his left hand, enduring the pain. It was the most sloppy, illegible time he¡¯d ever written his name.


    They didn¡¯t even have the time to encourage themselves, hurriedly pulling on shockproof rescue uniforms and then rushing off to the battlefield. They followed the director to the temporary gathering place organised by the command centre, and only there did the emergency surveying team finally find a medical personnel who could check and bind Song Yu¡¯s arm.


    ¡°You¡¯ve fractured your forearm. I¡¯m going to put it in a splint, you have to be extremely careful.¡±


    Song Yu was faintly frowning the entire time, not speaking. He only repetitively asked, ¡°Is there reception yet?¡±


    ¡°No, not yet. Xiaoyue¡¯s phone has already turned off by itself, everyone¡¯s saying there¡¯s going to be heavy snow this afternoon.¡± Song Yu¡¯s fellow team member was extremely worried. He said, ¡°We need to collect enough images of the disaster area before the snow hits, or else we won¡¯t be able to capture anything.¡±


    Another senior sister was on her laptop, processing the images from earlier into a 3D model. Without lifting her head, she said, ¡°We can use satellite phones. They should be giving us one.¡±


    ¡°Satellite phones are in short supply right now, the command centre and medical teams don¡¯t have enough. They said they¡¯ll help get us one before tomorrow afternoon.¡±


    ¡°I really want to call my mom¡­¡±


    ¡°They¡¯ll send over some walkie talkies later.¡±


    ¡°Those walkie talkies are an internal radio to communicate with the command centre. Its operating frequency won¡¯t support external communication, and plus they don¡¯t have external radio connectors.¡±


    The senior sister processing the data suddenly noticed a program error. ¡°There¡¯s an issue with this. Who knows how to program?¡±


    ¡°I do. I wrote that remote sensing program.¡± Song Yu¡¯s arm had just been placed in a sling, and he was thrown into an emergency task. He used only his left hand to debug the program, re-controlling the special feeder machine in the midst of turmoil.


    Song Yu had also rewritten the base code for that particular feeder machine. Without him there, no one would be able to quickly resolve any problems that popped up.


    It was a group of students undertaking their masters and PhD programs, and the group of less than ten people shouldered the frontline emergency surveying responsibilities as soon as the disaster occurred. The remote sensing drone circled up in the sky over the turbulent land, and it gave the most precise guidance to the rescue workers in the command centre ¡ª they were able to successfully rescue so many people trapped in the earthquake.


    ¡°Xiao Luo and Chenchen are back!¡±


    That was the first piece of good news they¡¯d received all day, even though the two of them had received some slight injuries. But the two of them brought back very valuable surface data, and after they¡¯d supplied it, the two senior sisters in charge of processing data started to create a map model of the disaster zone.


    Once the vibrations subsided, they returned back to the mobile surveyor control vehicle and quickly set up an emergency mobile monitoring platform. Every single one of them was carrying out incredibly important tasks, and they were spread too thinly. From the initial earthquake to the afternoon, Song Yu spent six hours in front of two laptops and the drone¡¯s control console, controlling it with one hand. He didn¡¯t have time to take even a sip of water.


    But whenever he had an opportunity to take a breath, he would once again ask, ¡°Is there reception?¡±


    Snow started to fall, the temperature abruptly dropping, and a lot of people¡¯s phones shut off from the cold. Song Yu¡¯s phone screen had been shattered, and he hadn¡¯t had the time to check if the phone had actually been broken or had only turned itself off. Later, volunteers came by to give them water, and Song Yu heard them talking, still focused on monitoring the drone. It sounded like they could call out using an old phone. He rapidly stood up and went to ask if he could borrow it, his arm in its sling.


    ¡°Give it a try, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn¡¯t.¡±


    He¡¯d been overly calm over the entire day, and it hadn¡¯t mattered if it was about his broken arm or the extreme amount of duties he needed to multitask. He appeared highly trained ¡ª he didn¡¯t look like a normal university student, but more like a true emergency mapping worker.


    But when he received the old cellphone that could possibly contact the outside world, Song Yu¡¯s fingers suddenly started to tremble as he typed in a string of numbers he could recite backwards and forwards. With his eyebrows tightly knit together, he held that phone closely to his ear.


    He still couldn¡¯t send out a call.


    ¡°Trying sending out a text. Everyone else sent out texts, but they won¡¯t always go through. But if you¡¯re lucky, sometimes the text¡¯ll send.¡± The volunteer was also unsure. ¡°That¡¯s what I¡¯ve heard, at least¡­¡±


    Song Yu told him thank you, and to save time, he very quickly wrote a message for Yue Zhishi.


    [This is Song Yu. I¡¯m very safe, I temporarily can¡¯t contact you with my phone. Don¡¯t worry about me, stay at home and wait for me.]


    He watched the spinning icon, as well as that message. Song Yu couldn¡¯t help it ¡ª he sent through two more.


    [Do you remember what I said before? Your sense of direction is too terrible. Don¡¯t come looking for me, just stay where you are and wait for me.]


    [Baobao, I love you. Don¡¯t come.]


    Over these twenty-plus years, other than occasionally wishing for Yue Zhishi to reply to him with something a bit more than brotherly feelings, this was the second time Song Yu had hoped for something so intensely. He really wanted this faint reception to work for just a small fragment of time, so Yue Zhishi could see his messages, so Yue Zhishi wouldn¡¯t come.


    That one conversation at Yanghe Qizhe seemed to have become a certain foreshadowing between the two of them.


    Song Yu unceasingly went to look for Yue Zhishi before he needed him. The one thing he needed Yue Zhishi to do was to wait in place, especially when it came to disasters ¡ª he was afraid Yue Zhishi wouldn¡¯t be able to endure it.


    But what he didn¡¯t understand was ¡ª waiting in place was the thing Yue Zhishi was least able to do.


    He would forever come looking for him.


    Song Yu didn¡¯t know if those two messages, sent out in the middle of his strenuous tasks, were actually delivered to Yue Zhishi. He could only keep repeating to the volunteer, if there were any news, please let him know.


    The snow grew heavier the longer it fell, and the command centre kept reporting to them the number of people they¡¯d rescued. Each time that number increased, their emergency team would release another sigh in relief. The emergency mobile monitoring they supported so painfully also started to gradually show signs of its weakness.


    The thick layers of snow covered a large portion of the land ¡ª the number of useful images sent through the drone continuously decreased.


    Luckily, after nightfall, dozens of people from the provincial capital¡¯s emergency mapping team finally arrived at the epicentre, and they brought with them even more mobile surveyor control vehicles. They were finally able to create a larger ground force to survey the land. Song Yu, with his injury, wasn¡¯t able to go out and take shots of the land like other people; the senior sisters and brothers in his team went out one by one under the direction of the command centre, and when the last person was about to leave, Song Yu reached out his left hand and caught hold of him.


    He handed his phone, unable to be turned on, to that senior brother. ¡°Senior, if you guys find somewhere you can charge phones or fix them, please help me.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ll definitely help you think of a way to turn on your phone.¡±


    Song Yu, along with two of the emergency mapping workers from the provincial capital and a firefighter, worked together on the mobile monitoring platform. His right arm wasn¡¯t secured tightly enough and it very much hurt when it swayed, but the command centre kept confirming positions through the walkie talkie. He couldn¡¯t stop, so he asked the surveyor next to him to fasten his arm a bit tighter, his other hand continuing to send out positions.


    ¡°We¡¯ve got him, we¡¯ve got him!¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s someone here!¡±


    The rescue workers¡¯ voices in the walkie talkie were very unclear, but it was a kind of comfort, at least.


    ¡°It was such luck for you guys to be here this time. You¡¯ve really been our saviour,¡± the firefighter said to Song Yu, driving the surveyor control vehicle. ¡°You guys have given us at least twelve extra hours to rescue people. There¡¯s only been one death so far, and it really has been through sheer luck.¡±


    Song Yu didn¡¯t think that was a good thing. He didn¡¯t even want to hear the words of ¡®death¡¯ and ¡®number of people¡¯ linked together, but he just so happened to be the person confirming the number of casualties every ten seconds. It was very much an untimely thought, but he thought of Yue Zhishi, who hadn¡¯t been able to finish the movie in the cinema.


    Yue Zhishi had always felt traumatic stress when it came to disasters, but Song Yu thought, he himself should have it too.


    Experiencing Uncle Yue¡¯s departure at such a young age and then continuously watching those news about disaster relief ¡ª repetitively stimulating himself like that would¡¯ve been his own psychological response to the traumatic event. Song Yu hadn¡¯t found a way to heal himself until he¡¯d discovered his life plan to participate in emergency rescue.


    He wanted to drink some water, but he couldn¡¯t open the bottle with just one hand. He could only wait.


    ¡°I hope that number won¡¯t increase.¡±


    With each increase, another family would be broken.


    But disasters were unfeeling, and he knew his hope could only remain as a hope.


    ¡°I hope so too. It¡¯s too hard.¡± The firefighter was also very young, possibly having just passed twenty. He was dressed in a bright orange firefighter uniform, his skin very dark, and he sighed, ¡°Fuck¡­ By choosing to work in this field, my girlfriend broke up with me.¡±


    Not too long after, he laughed at himself and said, ¡°Good thing we¡¯ve already broken up¡­¡±


    The surveyor also sighed with emotion. ¡°You guys work at the frontline. It¡¯s the most dangerous.¡±


    ¡°But what isn¡¯t dangerous? Those young nurses, all of them so small, still need to lift stretchers when there aren¡¯t enough helpers. I was watching them trying to save people, and so many of them were crying as they worked.¡± He shook his head, the vehicle continuing forward. ¡°We¡¯re all humans, who wouldn¡¯t be afraid. My hands were fucking shaking the first time I participated in emergency rescue at nineteen.¡±


    ¡°There will always need to be people to come out and help during these shit times. What else can we do? We can¡¯t just sit and watch as other people die.¡±


    Song Yu was silently listening, and he abruptly felt like his own anxiety had somewhat eased away ¡ª he was also no longer continuously confirming the number of deaths. Being directly in the disaster area, performing a job that could lead to saving people, Song Yu finally stopped feeling such a strong resistance towards disasters.


    Because he now held the initiative ¡ª he was now part of a group of people who could come out and help during the worst times.


    Right before dawn, they arrived at a plot point and picked up a surveyor holding onto a shooting instrument. When the surveyor came inside, he immediately asked if there was someone called Song Yu in here.


    Immersed in data collection, Song Yu didn¡¯t raise his head; he only turned around after someone patted his shoulder.


    ¡°A volunteer collecting data about missing people is looking for you.¡± The surveyor placed down his instrument and called out to someone outside, and then a volunteer arrived.


    ¡°You¡¯re Song Yu, right?¡± The volunteer crossed off Song Yu¡¯s name on his name in a fluster, rejoicing. ¡°This is great, this is too fantastic, that¡¯s another person off the list¡­¡± He told the firefighter the place he needed to go to; it just so happened to be the place they needed to monitor the safety of: the disaster victims¡¯ shelter area.


    The volunteer gave Song Yu the old cellphone he was holding. ¡°Someone¡¯s looking for you, I think it¡¯s your boyfriend. See if you can give him a call.¡±


    At that moment, Song Yu felt a fierce punch of pain through his heart, as though it had been brutally stabbed by a sharp object. He needed to breathe for a good few seconds before he could open his mouth.


    ¡°Is he safe?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s safe. He¡¯s with my friend.¡±


    But his phone call didn¡¯t connect ¡ª Yue Zhishi¡¯s phone was turned off.


    Song Yu had never been so agitated before, the short two kilometre journey feeling extraordinarily long. When they finally arrived, he pulled on his down outer jacket with the help of a volunteer, and he rushed down, holding the volunteer¡¯s phone, to go search for Yue Zhishi.


    It was too dark; all he could see were large blue tents, and they obstructed his view.


    His eyes frantically swept around as he silently said Yue Zhishi¡¯s name again and again.


    Until a certain tent was torn open, its stiff waterproof material slowly collapsing, and an illusory-looking person appeared in front of him ¡ª for an instant, Song Yu lost all the strength in his body.


    Yue Zhishi was wrapped in an extremely thick mountaineering down jacket, and a large bag was on his back, looking as though it would crush him under its weight. He held an oxygen bottle in one hand, while his other hand clutched a tent rod. He looked like a real volunteer.


    He didn¡¯t think they would be in a place like this when they saw each other again. As he¡¯d rushed over, he¡¯d thought Yue Zhishi would¡¯ve broken down, would¡¯ve had his asthma flare up from his extreme emotions ¡ª he¡¯d thought Yue Zhishi would¡¯ve perhaps gotten lost on his way here, or would¡¯ve even been suffering from the cold because he hadn¡¯t prepared well enough.


    But Yue Zhishi had been even more courageous and rational than he¡¯d imagined. He even managed to provide sorely needed assistance during a time when people were in short supply.


    ¡°Song Yu¡­¡± Holding onto him, Yue Zhishi suddenly realised something wasn¡¯t right. He touched Song Yu¡¯s arm over his down jacket, and his voice started to quiver. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with your hand?¡±


    ¡°Nothing, just a small injury. It got hit by an instrument.¡± Song Yu held onto the back of Yue Zhishi¡¯s head and kissed his forehead several times, and then he quickly brought Yue Zhishi onto the car and told him to sit down. ¡°Do you feel unwell anywhere?¡±


    Yue Zhishi shook his head, no longer crying. ¡°I¡¯ve already taken some altitude sickness meds, as well as some vitamins. I feel like I¡¯ve adapted a bit by now.¡± He couldn¡¯t help but stress, ¡°Song Yu, I didn¡¯t get sick. I¡¯ve kept myself in check very well. I bought a lot of useful things on my way here, and I even bought you some water and things to eat. You haven¡¯t eaten yet, right? What about your seniors? I bought some food for them too¡­¡±


    Seeing Yue Zhishi open up the bag on his back, Song Yu suddenly couldn¡¯t speak. He didn¡¯t expect Yue Zhishi to be so rational, to have been able to do these things in such a short amount of time. For a moment, he felt a complicated mix of emotions in his heart.


    When he noticed Song Yu¡¯s silence, Yue Zhishi placed his bag to the side.


    ¡°You definitely wouldn¡¯t have wanted me to come.¡±


    Yue Zhishi lowered his eyes, his voice very weak. ¡°Maybe you also thought I would¡¯ve given you only trouble, but I really couldn¡¯t take doing nothing except waiting for you¡­ I couldn¡¯t wait.¡±


    Finally, Song Yu couldn¡¯t hold back anymore. He reached out his left hand and grabbed Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand, saying in a very soft voice, ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯ve made you worry.¡±


    Somewhat hurriedly, he explained, ¡°My phone was broken right at the start, and it¡¯s not with me right now. I sent you a lot of messages halfway through the day, but maybe they weren¡¯t sent out¡­¡±


    Yue Zhishi lightly embraced him, stroking his shoulders and back very comfortingly. ¡°It¡¯s okay, gege.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not afraid anymore, now that I¡¯ve seen you.¡±


    They were like so many other people in the disaster ¡ª they consoled each other like small, fragile beasts trapped inside. The lucky ones could hold each other, while the unlucky ones could perhaps only do their best to push their fingertips near the other person, under the ruins.


    Love endowed them with the strength to survive.


    Once he solved the issue in the special feeder machine¡¯s surface layer code, Song Yu was forced to rest after getting injured and working over ten-plus hours. He kept checking how Yue Zhishi was reacting to the high altitude and realised he was doing better than he¡¯d expected.


    Taking out all the various kinds of altitude sickness medication he¡¯d purchased, Yue Zhishi gave them to Song Yu and the other people in the car, as well as biscuits and buns. The volunteers had yet to get to them when they were passing out food earlier ¡ª they¡¯d only been given water. The firefighter hadn¡¯t eaten anything all night, and he filled himself up with a few buns as he drove, pushing away some of his hunger.


    ¡°Thank goodness you¡¯re here. I was about to start going dizzy, and that would¡¯ve been too dangerous while driving.¡±


    Yue Zhishi kept shaking his head. ¡°I¡¯ve bothered you guys.¡±


    ¡°One extra person means one extra portion of strength,¡± one of the surveyors said, smiling.


    They briefly rested in the car for a few hours, Yue Zhishi waking up from a headache as dawn was about to break. He took some more meds and then leaned back into his seat; he gently eased Song Yu over, who was so tired he couldn¡¯t sense anything, and had him lay down on his legs to sleep. Yue Zhishi curled over and lightly covered Song Yu¡¯s head and shoulders, protective.


    Aftershocks came later than they¡¯d expected, and they were even given warnings before the aftershocks actually came. The first one arrived at 8:10am, lasting sixteen seconds, with an estimated intensity of 3.2. The second one came an hour and a half after the first one and lasted eighteen seconds with an estimated intensity of 3.0. The tremors were weakening.


    Everyone stayed alert once they heard the warnings. There were far less casualties compared to the first high magnitude earthquake.


    At noon, they drove to the central tent area to get their lunch. Since Song Yu was injured, Yue Zhishi lined up for him, and he suddenly heard someone calling out through a loudspeaker in the midst of volunteers and victims. ¡°Is there anyone here who can speak foreign languages? University students are fine, too. And is there anyone here who understands law? We really need help!¡±


    Yue Zhishi gazed in that direction, standing near the front of the line. The person holding the loudspeaker had no luck and was unable to find anyone.


    A worker in front of him sighed. ¡°We¡¯re so remote, other than those on a holiday, where would we find university students or lawyers¡­¡±


    Another person then said, ¡°I hear a foreign tourist¡¯s been injured. A few local disaster victims are also demanding compensation. It¡¯s always like this every year, we¡¯re still struggling to save people when others are starting to make a fuss. We simply don¡¯t have the capacity. Volunteers who can provide legal advice are too rare.¡±


    The two of them departed, leaving behind only Yue Zhishi. He took the food he was given and left the lines.


    To him, it was truly very difficult to face a disaster site directly.


    The male volunteer requesting help once again shouted into the loudspeaker, ¡°Anyone who can speak foreign languages? Any volunteers who can provide legal assistance? You don¡¯t have to be a lawyer, it¡¯s fine as long as you understand legal procedure! If you can do either of those things, please contact the volunteer headquarters! We¡¯re at¡­¡±


    He¡¯d only finished half of his words when a young boy, face pale, walked to him and said, ¡°Hello.¡±


    ¡°I should be able to help.¡±

 CH 102

    Chapter 102: An Ice-Free Land (Main Story, End)


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t know what he was doing either, walking over just like that to help with the volunteers.


    He was even afraid when watching disasters in movies.


    The volunteer expressed his utter joy and gratitude at Yue Zhishi¡¯s appearance, and when Yue Zhishi nodded, about to follow the volunteer over, he suddenly realised he was still holding Song Yu¡¯s lunch.


    ¡°Please wait, I¡¯ll come back really quickly once I deliver lunch.¡±


    Very obviously, Song Yu didn¡¯t agree with him becoming a volunteer.


    ¡°You haven¡¯t gone through professional emergency training, you won¡¯t know how to hide if there¡¯s another aftershock. It¡¯ll be really dangerous.¡± Frowning, Song Yu paused for two seconds. ¡°Just stay in the car.¡±


    Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t feel anything because of Song Yu¡¯s rejection ¡ª he knew Song Yu was worried about him.


    ¡°It¡¯ll be okay.¡± He stroked Song Yu¡¯s arm. ¡°I¡¯ve already asked, I¡¯ll be working in the central shelter area for disaster victims. There¡¯ll be a lot of people, so if there really are aftershocks, everyone will find safety together. They also said we can stop working once the professional team arrives.¡±


    He dropped his eyes, his voice very slow due to breathing with his mouth. ¡°I want to be like you too. I want to help.¡±


    ¡°Aren¡¯t you afraid?¡± Song Yu asked.


    ¡°I am,¡± Yue Zhishi honestly said. ¡°But they can¡¯t find anyone. I can clearly help, so why shouldn¡¯t I go?¡±


    He was quiet for a few seconds, and then he raised his eyes again, looking at Song Yu. ¡°And as long as I¡¯m with you, I¡¯m not as scared anymore.¡±


    In the end, Song Yu didn¡¯t stop him.


    He wrapped an arm around Yue Zhishi and gave him a quiet, peaceful kiss.


    ¡°You have to be careful. Don¡¯t get injured, okay?¡± Song Yu said, his voice a very tender request, ¡°I¡¯ll come pick you up, okay?¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded. ¡°Okay. I heard the satellite phones have been delivered when I was getting food. You should give mom a call.¡±


    After growing up, this was the first time Yue Zhishi had used that term to refer to Lin Rong ¡ª and it made Song Yu feel a bit of distress, for some reason.


    ¡°I will.¡±


    Watching Yue Zhishi walk away by himself ¡ª it was also Song Yu¡¯s first time.


    He was finally going to do what he wanted to do.


    After temporarily saying goodbye to Song Yu, Yue Zhishi followed the volunteer from earlier and walked towards a different direction. Here, people came and went; there were many disaster victims, and they were crowded together in the tents, eating their lunch. Fortunately, not many of them had serious injuries.


    ¡°How good¡¯s your foreign language? Can you talk with foreigners?¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded. ¡°I can.¡±


    ¡°Good. We have four foreign tourists who are here by themselves. They were about to head into the snow mountains, but they were injured in the earthquake. One of them has even had his legs crushed. We¡¯re pretty remote here, so even though we do have English speakers, it¡¯s still hard for them to communicate with foreigners. It¡¯s been really hard to collect their information.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll try my best.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re studying law?¡± the volunteer asked.


    ¡°Mn. But I¡¯ve only just started, I¡¯m just a first year in university.¡± Yue Zhishi was a bit nervous. ¡°I might not be able to help with much.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s fine, it¡¯s not like we¡¯re asking you to go into court right now. Just first calm them down, the tourists are too anxious. We don¡¯t understand what they¡¯re saying, and they don¡¯t believe what we say. The professional legal team is on its way, they might be here by the afternoon.¡±


    ¡°All right.¡± As he followed behind the volunteer, Yue Zhishi saw a stretcher carrying a victim with an injured back. He suddenly felt an ache in his chest, his breathing faltering; he didn¡¯t dare look at the victim again. He quickened his footsteps.


    Those four foreign tourists were from Australia. Two of them were arguing with a few volunteers when Yue Zhishi arrived ¡ª both sides seemed unable to understand what the other was trying to say.


    ¡°See. It¡¯s a mess.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was brought in, and he attempted to talk to them. His best subject ever since he¡¯d been a child had been English; he spoke extremely fluently. When the tourists heard a familiar language, the look on their faces immediately changed, and they quickly asked Yue Zhishi for help.


    ¡°Everything¡¯s fine, let me first record down your information, and then we¡¯ll do our best to contact your embassy as quickly as we can¡­¡±


    He spent over an hour with those foreign tourists, calming them down. They didn¡¯t want him to leave ¡ª they wanted him to stay with them to continue helping them, but Yue Zhishi had no choice but to leave.


    ¡°I still need to go help with the legal advice. If you guys need any assistance, you can ask them to look for me.¡±


    That volunteer also said, ¡°Reception should be fixed by the afternoon. I¡¯ll leave you a phone.¡±


    Yue Zhishi agreed.


    The hastily built legal advice centre was actually extremely simple and crude: one tent with one table inside. A large amount of people surrounded it, most of them locals, and they spoke with thick accents. They seemed to have a fairly serious conflict between them and the volunteer.


    ¡°You don¡¯t know anything about the things I¡¯ve asked you, so what will happen to my house?¡± A woman around fifty years old was sobbing on the table. ¡°I¡¯ve lost everything¡­¡±


    ¡°And my insurance, how¡¯s my insurance going to compensate me? No one cares about us anymore¡­¡±


    There was only one volunteer there, and she didn¡¯t understand these things; she only kept repeating, ¡°Please calm down, we¡¯re still undertaking search and rescue work. Someone will come by later and help you¡­¡±


    ¡°¡ª¡ªwhen are they coming? My important items are at home, my laptop has all of my business information!¡±


    ¡°Me too, can I go back and get my stuff¡­ Will these things be compensated later?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was a bit scared, seeing a situation like this, but he still did his best to control his inner fear and walked towards those people who¡¯d suffered from the disaster.


    In reality, as a university student who¡¯d only just started his degree, he essentially had zero knowledge and experience. At the start, Yue Zhishi could only introduce himself and his educational background, trying to console them. They didn¡¯t accept him at first, thinking he was too young; his face looked more like someone who¡¯d appear on television, and it didn¡¯t look reliable.


    But Yue Zhishi patiently informed them about property law, telling them what rights they could claim if they held a deed to a property and what things they needed to start preparing¡­ Every question a disaster victim asked of him, he would do his best to clearly answer, his manner sincere. Compared to unsure, uncertain responses, a relatively professional answer consoled the disaster victims a bit more, and everyone started to believe the volunteers could and were willing to truly help them.


    As he answered their questions, Yue Zhishi recorded down each disaster victim¡¯s personal information, including the status of their home and the best way to get into contact with them. It¡¯d be easier for the professional legal team to take over later once they arrive.


    Every so often, Yue Zhishi inhaled some oxygen.


    That middle-aged lady who was wailing and shouting earlier felt a bit pained for him. ¡°Young fellow, do you want some water?¡±


    Yue Zhishi waved a hand at her and took off his oxygen mask. ¡°I¡¯m fine, auntie. I¡¯m just feeling the usual effects of the altitude.¡± Except she decisively pushed her very precious water into Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand ¡ª so Yue Zhishi could only twist it open, pouring a small bit down his throat before immediately giving it back to her.


    He said thank you, but she kept shaking her head. She gave him a very pure and honest smile, and said thank you to him instead.


    She said, thank you for coming here to help us.


    Suddenly, Yue Zhishi could feel his nose stinging. He didn¡¯t feel like he¡¯d truly done anything; he was actually feeling slight regret at not having worked harder at his studies to learn more.


    He was busy from noon to evening. The volunteers later sent over some instant noodles, but Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t eat it. He had some of the rice from the lunch he hadn¡¯t finished, filling his stomach with some food, and then ran to help with the foreign tourists. He needed to run back and forth.


    That male volunteer from earlier finally brought over new people ¡ª they were all very young university students who had taken the initiative to come from nearby cities and provide support.


    ¡°I study foreign languages!¡±


    ¡°I study law, but my grades aren¡¯t great hahaha.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m a physical education student, I¡¯m nothing but energy.¡±


    ¡°This is great,¡± Yue Zhishi said very softly. Two seconds later, he repeated again, ¡°This is honestly fantastic.¡±


    Because of a second heavy snowfall, the legal team was stuck on the road for a while, only arriving at 8pm. They were extremely surprised ¡ª they didn¡¯t expect to receive an organised, extremely complete file of disaster victims.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure if the suggestions I gave them were correct or not,¡± Yue Zhishi said, somewhat embarrassed. ¡°I¡¯m still a student, and I haven¡¯t done things like this before. But I¡¯ve written down their basic situations as well as the compensation they¡¯d like to receive. The file should be able to help.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s very helpful.¡± The young volunteer lawyer in charge patted his shoulder. ¡°Thank you.¡±


    Shaking his head, Yue Zhishi looked at the young team. He silently thought to himself, he really needed to work hard and become a lawyer.


    Then he could be like them ¡ª he could come and volunteer his legal assistance.


    A team offering free medical assistance arrived nearby; there were some older doctors, as well as a lot of young ladies.


    Yue Zhishi helped them move in their medicines, and when he met a woman with a nurse badge, he hesitated for a very long while before he couldn¡¯t help but ask. He asked how a broken bone should be treated ¡ª if it wasn¡¯t stabilised well, how should he bandage it again and how should he set a sling.


    He learned a lot, and then he stood by the side and watched as she bandaged up injured disaster victims.


    Yue Zhishi was initially most afraid of seeing disaster scenes, and it was especially so now that he was looking at injured people: his heart was pounding really, really quickly, and he even found it hard to breathe. But he managed to restrain his adverse reactions when he thought of Song Yu¡¯s hand ¡ª his heart slowly calmed down, and he did his best to learn the nurse¡¯s movements.


    ¡°Like this. Do you understand?¡±


    The young boy from an ethnic minority stood up, his arm wrapped up and unable to do anything except hang in its sling. Giving the nurse a very unsophisticated smile, he said many words of gratitude, and then he asked Yue Zhishi, who had been standing by the side, ¡°Hey, have you learned how to do it yet?¡±


    Yue Zhishi somewhat bashfully smiled, quietly saying, ¡°I¡¯m not sure either¡­¡±


    After arriving here, he saw too many mothers searching for their children. He saw collapsed houses, disaster victims crying because they no longer had homes. These scenes all stabbed at the deepest layer of dread in Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart ¡ª but there were so many more people who were even more steadfast and optimistic than Yue Zhishi had expected. They were able to tease each other in those temporary tents, and they even came to comfort him, telling him to not be afraid, there was nothing to be afraid of.


    Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t help but think: these people felt like they would never be defeated.


    Now that he was personally in the disaster zone and was providing them with the tiniest bit of support, it felt as though he¡¯d gained the courage to look disaster straight in the face.


    It was as though there was a voice in his heart, and it was saying ¡ª I¡¯m not afraid of you.


    Humans might be small and insignificant, but when they came together, they contained a great and mighty power.


    After someone else took over his shift, Yue Zhishi went to the place he and Song Yu had planned to meet up, his footsteps heavy and dragging. He hadn¡¯t had enough rest. As he stood there and waited for a few minutes, he heard the cries of a child ¡ª it sounded like a very young child.


    He followed the sound for a while, searching, before he finally found a small child behind a group of tents. The child was only about five or six years old, dressed in a red quilted jacket.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Yue Zhishi crouched down, a hand lightly touching the child¡¯s face.


    The child sobbed, crying in Yue Zhishi¡¯s direction as he called out for his mom and dad, as he said he wanted his mom and dad.


    Pain instantly tore through Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart, and his stomach felt so very much uncomfortable. But he hugged the child, stroking down his back, and said, ¡°It¡¯s okay. Tell me, have you seen your mom and dad after the earthquake? What are their names?¡±


    He picked up the child, obtaining bits and pieces of knowledge between his sobs. The child had been separated from his mom on the street, and he hadn¡¯t seen them since.


    He was crying next to Yue Zhishi¡¯s ear. Waves of grief flooded through Yue Zhishi¡¯s heart, almost about to drown his entire person, but he was carrying a heavy life in his arms ¡ª he could not weaken.


    ¡°I¡¯ll take you to find them.¡±


    Song Yu had yet to arrive, so he asked a volunteer at their meeting place to help him send over a message. He then went to look for the volunteer who¡¯d been searching for foreign language speakers earlier. That volunteer had a loudspeaker, and he knew a relatively large amount of people.


    But it was truly very hard to find someone. It was too cold and too chaotic here, everyone hidden away in their tents. Even if they were in the same gathering place, it was still possible to miss the child¡¯s parents. Yue Zhishi was thankful he had arrived in the early hours of the morning; Song Yu had been able to find him because there had been less people then.


    He spent the entire night looking. Yue Zhishi was utterly exhausted, but whenever the child started to cry again, he would hold him. Yue Zhishi even had a short moment where he numbly thought, if he truly couldn¡¯t find this child¡¯s parents, he really wanted to adopt him.


    At least the child would be like him: he¡¯d have someone to take care of him.


    But his idea didn¡¯t come true ¡ª and it was very fortunate it didn¡¯t have to come true.


    The child¡¯s father rushed over, searching for him, after he heard the broadcast. He seemed to have injured his leg as he wasn¡¯t walking very smoothly, but he seemed to have forgotten he¡¯d been injured. He ran over, swiftly and rapidly, and then knelt down to tightly embrace that child. When he heard the child cry out dad in heartbroken sobs, Yue Zhishi couldn¡¯t take it anymore; he turned around, his back towards them as he himself started to cry.


    It was only now that he finally dared to think of his own father.


    That man seemed to live only within other people¡¯s mouths. He sounded so perfect, but Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t understand him at all, and neither did he want to understand him. Every time he heard a story related to him, Yue Zhishi would keep silent.


    He¡¯d never experienced much parental love, and so he was very afraid to think of them. Because it didn¡¯t matter how much he thought of them, missed them ¡ª it would be in vain.


    So he might as well not think of them at all.


    In the cinema room, Yue Zhishi had been able to tolerate watching the most harrowing scene in the disaster movie. Even when the camera had lingered on bloody, brutal moments, he had still been able to stay in his seat.


    The true moment he hadn¡¯t been able to withstand had been the reunion between the child and his mother.


    At that time, he¡¯d thought with utter agony ¡ª why can¡¯t we see each other anymore?


    Why didn¡¯t you come back alive¡­


    And now, as he watched that child who¡¯d been lost through the earthquake return to his father¡¯s side with his help, Yue Zhishi finally dared to truly imagine.


    If that year, his father hadn¡¯t died, would he have been like that child ¡ª would he have tightly held onto his father who¡¯d rushed back home.


    Yue Yi should¡¯ve also wrapped tight arms around him. Just like the father in front of his eyes right now, Yue Yi would¡¯ve said to him, ¡°It¡¯s okay now, Le Le. Dad¡¯s home.¡±


    Yue Zhishi was standing in the cold wind, holding a plastic bead the child had given him. He was watching them walk away when Song Yu called out his name and headed over to him.


    Yue Zhishi gave him a very faint smile, and then he was pulled into Song Yu¡¯s arms.


    Worried he¡¯d bump into Song Yu¡¯s injured hand, Yue Zhishi retreated very quickly. ¡°How are you feeling, does your hand hurt?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± Song Yu tugged the hood of Yue Zhishi¡¯s jacket over his head. ¡°I managed to borrow the satellite phone in the afternoon, and gave mom a call. She yelled at me for quite a while.¡±


    And then, Song Yu smiled. ¡°I could only say to her, it¡¯s not like I wanted something like this to happen.¡±


    ¡°Was she angry at me too?¡± Yue Zhishi dropped his eyes.


    ¡°Mn, she was so angry.¡± After scaring him, Song Yu hugged him again. ¡°But she also said she believed you didn¡¯t dare tell her because you must¡¯ve definitely been worried about her. And Grandma¡­ why didn¡¯t you guys tell me?¡±


    ¡°She didn¡¯t want me to tell you.¡±


    Family was like that ¡ª they would always report only their joy, and not their sorrow, Yue Zhishi thought.


    But it was also only because of their love for each other that they didn¡¯t dare tell them of their troubles.


    Yue Zhishi also didn¡¯t tell Song Yu about the child just then. He simply gripped onto Song Yu¡¯s left hand and returned back to the surveyor control vehicle with him. Even though Yue Zhishi didn¡¯t tell him about the volunteer work he¡¯d done during the day, too tired, Song Yu still gave him a warm embrace. He said to him, again and again, ¡°You¡¯ve grown up. You¡¯re amazing. You¡¯re so brave.¡±


    Even though the magnitude of the initial earthquake had been so high, the initial rescue workers had been able to work with so much time, and they continued to efficiently search and rescue. The number of casualties dropped substantially compared to before.


    The shelter area finally had electricity the next day, and parts of it also recovered reception. Yue Zhishi finally received Song Yu¡¯s delayed messages.


    When he saw those words, he seemed to be able to see Song Yu¡¯s panicked face. He kept mulling over Song Yu¡¯s I love you. Don¡¯t come., a bittersweet flavour in his heart.


    He plugged in his battery pack and gave Lin Rong a phone call with the worst reception in history. She yelled at him on and off for a while, and when he heard her sobbing and sniffling, he kept apologising and admitting he¡¯d been wrong.


    Lin Rong scolded, ¡°You¡¯re so courageous, weren¡¯t you afraid of something happening while on the way there?¡±


    Yue Zhishi softly said, ¡°I forgot to be scared as soon as I heard the news¡­¡±


    ¡°Well. Both of you won¡¯t be able to come home for Lunar New Year then, right?¡±


    Yue Zhishi was quiet for a long while, not daring to answer.


    Lin Rong had no real way to blame him, and she even started to talk about coming over to be with them. Yue Zhishi spent a long time convincing her before he managed to get rid of that idea in her head.


    He also contacted everyone who cared about him, letting them know he was safe. Jiang Yufan became very hot-headed and said he too wanted to come help ¡ª he only changed his mind after Yue Zhishi did his best to persuade him.


    But he himself didn¡¯t want to leave.


    Yue Zhishi still wanted to stay here and help a few more people.


    Three days after the earthquake, the shelter area became more and more satisfactory. There were now portable toilets, and children in the area started to gather together in a large tent to receive counselling. Psychology teachers had arrived specifically for this, and they gave them counselling lessons, helping the children to adjust.


    Sometimes when Yue Zhishi was very tired, he would sit outside the tent and listen to their classes. As he listened to those adorable small children answer questions with their young and lilting voices, he would feel filled with hope.


    Fortunately, the likelihood of aftershocks occurring had already decreased. There had been a few days everyone had spent being anxious and fearful, worried of the tremors.


    He became one of the volunteers in charge of collecting information from survivors. He rushed about to every single corner of the snow mountains, recording down information, and then he would contact news media and social media sites to provide them with the information he¡¯d collected. He did his best so that friends and families of survivors could hear of their safety.


    So many people forwarded and spread the news ¡ª families continuously saw each other again, reuniting after misfortune.


    Yue Zhishi could now watch very calmly as other people found their lost families again; he even felt happiness now, because of it.


    The day before Lunar New Year, he was following a young boy of ethnic minority as he was collecting information and walked past a place. Yue Zhishi paused, quietly looking at it for a while.


    The boy called out to him, and so Yue Zhishi could only hurry to catch up.


    He heard Song Yu say their map of the disaster was becoming more and more complete and more and more precise, able to assist the command centre very well in its rescue plans. Yue Zhishi felt that was extremely fortunate.


    The disaster situation gradually stabilised, the amount of search and rescue work slowly decreasing. Medical staff were finally able to keep up. Once the situation steadied, the university requested Professor He to bring his students back home ¡ª and so they had no choice but to leave.


    Thinking about it, Yue Zhishi felt like the last two weeks had passed like a frenetic dream. He wouldn¡¯t feel scared if he thought about it later, but he would still feel upset.


    He was even reluctant to depart.


    It snowed again, the day before they were meant to leave. Yue Zhishi pulled at Song Yu¡¯s hand, saying he wanted to take him somewhere.


    The snow mountains were at their backs, and the warm sun of winter twinkled with dazzling light. The sky was so blue ¡ª it was so blue it was as though nothing unfortunate had ever happened at this place. It was so very beautiful.


    The two of them gazed at it as they walked, Song Yu occasionally lowering his head to look at Yue Zhishi.


    ¡°You¡¯ve worked too hard. You¡¯ve lost a lot of weight.¡±


    Tilting up his face, Yue Zhishi smiled at him. ¡°I haven¡¯t.¡±


    Song Yu fell into a brief silence, as though he had made a silent, difficult decision. He frowned as he asked, ¡°You would be afraid, wouldn¡¯t you. If I continued working in this field.¡±


    ¡°I would.¡± Yue Zhishi nodded truthfully, and then he lowered his head. ¡°Anyone would be afraid, as long as they¡¯re human. People are selfish creatures ¡ª I also would like for you to work in the easiest, safest kind of career.¡±


    ¡°But that day, when I saw the disaster map and 3D model you guys created, I suddenly thought this was¡­ truly a good thing.¡± Yue Zhishi drew his eyebrows together and looked towards Song Yu. ¡°You guys have really saved a lot of people.¡±


    ¡°And those firefighters, doctors, nurses ¡ª even the common people who¡¯d stepped forward so bravely. They all have lovers and people they love. The people they love and their families are all so unselfish.¡±


    Yue Zhishi retracted his blank gaze and gave Song Yu a slight smile. ¡°Compared to them, the risk of your work isn¡¯t quite so high. So I need to do my best, and learn to be not so selfish.¡±


    Holding Yue Zhishi¡¯s hand, Song Yu couldn¡¯t speak, filled with emotion. Yue Zhishi brought him to a gate in a certain part of the old city.


    ¡°We¡¯re here.¡± There was a bit of pride in Yue Zhishi¡¯s voice. ¡°It took me a long time to remember the way here, or else we would¡¯ve gotten lost.¡±


    It was a church. It wasn¡¯t as grand as the one in Guangzhou, and neither was it as exquisite. It quietly rose tall and upright underneath the blue sky and the snow mountains, and it was gorgeous, steeped in a plain and pure beauty.


    Yue Zhishi pulled out a small blue velvet box from his pocket. It almost fell from his hand; he looked a bit amusing from how nervous he was. He clutched the box firmly, resting it in his palm, and his face was scrunched up very adorably.


    ¡°This is a present I had custom-made for your birthday earlier¡­¡± He found himself a bit laughable ¡ª it was already past Lunar New Year, and he had yet to give out Song Yu¡¯s birthday present.


    And yet Song Yu was stunned; his eyes moved so slowly from Yue Zhishi¡¯s frostbitten fingers to the open box in his hand. A pair of rings, flickering with silver rays of light, rested inside. They were designed very simply, and the two differently sized rings nestled against each other.


    ¡°I looked for a long time before I found a store that did custom designs. I designed these together with the craftsman.¡± Yue Zhishi said with some embarrassment, ¡°I even had to borrow some money from Aunt Rong. I don¡¯t have any savings anymore, only debt.¡±


    Song Yu couldn¡¯t hold back from caressing his cheeks. ¡°So my inheritance is all gone?¡±


    Yue Zhishi swiftly took out a ring, as though afraid Song Yu wouldn¡¯t want it. ¡°There¡¯s only this, now.¡±


    He raised Song Yu¡¯s left hand, and as they stood in front of that blessed church that hadn¡¯t collapsed due to the disaster, he asked Song Yu in a voice soft and gentle, ¡°Can I put this on you?¡±


    Song Yu also took out the other ring in the box. ¡°Can I?¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded several few times very quickly. He stretched out his own fingers and very docilely said, ahead of time, thank you.


    Song Yu only realised something was inside the ring as he was about to push it over Yue Zhishi¡¯s finger. Twirling it, he looked at it under the sunlight ¡ª a piece of dark green jade, the size of a .20 carat diamond, was embedded into the platinum ring.


    ¡°This is¡­¡±


    ¡°Tibetan jade.¡± Yue Zhishi pursed his lips. ¡°It¡¯s quite fit for the occasion. Aren¡¯t we really close to its place of origin right now?¡±


    Song Yu smiled in understanding.


    So Yue Zhishi had secretly set the jade stone he¡¯d given him inside the rings.


    ¡°This was really hard to do, the craftsman had to try many times. That¡¯s why it took so long.¡±


    ¡°Why¡¯d you embed it inside?¡± Song Yu asked.


    ¡°Because I want to hide my jade away.¡± Yue Zhishi gave him a bright smile, that tiny dimple appearing at the corner of his mouth. His pair of beautiful eyes curved into the crescent moons found at the start of a new month, and they looked as though they¡¯d never gone through any pain and suffering.


    ¡°We¡¯ve finished exchanging rings.¡± Song Yu cupped his face with a hand. ¡°Can the newly married couple now kiss?¡±


    Yue Zhishi took a step back, shy; he wanted to say this wasn¡¯t a wedding, but Song Yu slipped an arm around his waist before he could. In front of the glorious church, Song Yu caught his soft lips with his own.


    There were no white veils, no suits; there were no fresh flowers or a carpet, and there was no one here to give them their blessings. Instead, bitingly cold wind held their bodies in its arms, and the snow mountains were also there to witness their new lives.


    And their soundless vows ¡ª they were of a transient duration, and yet they were a permanent promise.


    Before they started driving back, Professor He called Song Yu down for a talk. Yue Zhishi sat in the car, gazing outwards from the car window. The ring finger on Song Yu¡¯s lowered hand was the same as his ¡ª it glistened with beautiful silver rays.


    ¡°Where¡¯s Song Yu?¡±


    Hearing someone call Song Yu¡¯s name, Yue Zhishi turned his head around. He saw a senior, his hand holding a phone with a shattered screen.


    ¡°Senior, he¡¯s talking with Professor He,¡± Yue Zhishi softly said.


    ¡°Ah, is he? Then I¡¯ll hand it to you.¡± The senior smiled as he gave Yue Zhishi the phone. ¡°Look at how smashed it is¡­ The rest of our phones turned off from the cold, only his was broken. The phone repairer guys only just gave it back to me. Give it to Xiao Song later, I don¡¯t know if he still wants it or not.¡±


    Yue Zhishi nodded, and then he lowered his head to look. The phone screen was truly shattered beyond repair, but surprisingly, the phone was still able to turn on.


    The senior was just about to take his seat at the front, but then he seemed to abruptly think of something. He turned around and asked Yue Zhishi, ¡°Is your profile photo a small piece of cheese? The one in Tom and Jerry.¡±


    Yue Zhishi dipped his head. ¡°Mn.¡±


    ¡°No wonder. The phone exploded with WeChat messages as soon as I turned it on. They were all sent by someone called ¡®Murmansk¡¯. That should be you, right?¡± The senior said, smiling, ¡°You were so worried.¡±


    Another senior sister said, ¡°Of course he was worried, Xiao Yue and Xiao Song are our university¡¯s fairytale love story. Have you ever seen our ice mountain Xiao Song speak to someone else so softly? He ran to hug him as soon as he saw Xiao Yue, and he was even smiling so tenderly. It wasn¡¯t like him at all.¡± She sighed, ¡°Looks like ice mountain men don¡¯t really exist in this world. They will always melt at true love.¡±


    Yue Zhishi¡¯s attention was completely caught on what the senior had said earlier, and he mumbled to himself somewhat blankly, ¡°Murmansk¡­¡±


    Lowering his head, he unlocked the phone, fingers tapping on the broken screen. He saw the WeChat conversation with himself.


    He really was given that nickname.


    He was very familiar with that word, but he still faintly felt some doubt.


    Slightly turning his face over, he just so happened to meet Song Yu¡¯s eyes outside. Song Yu raised his head and gave Yue Zhishi a gentle and soft smile.


    ¡°Senior.¡± Yue Zhishi pulled his gaze away and leaned forward, asking in a quiet voice, ¡°Murmansk is the name of a place, right?¡±


    That senior sister also turned around. ¡°Ah, yes. In Russia.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s the one and only ice-free port in the Arctic Circle.¡±


    ¡ª Main Story, End ¡ª


    The author has something to say:


    This is the end of the main story, there¡¯ll be extras later. I keep having back pain lately, so every day I keep feeling like there are things I haven¡¯t completed. The extras later might be temporarily posted every other day, and they¡¯ll start on the 9th, sorry sorry.


    My postscripts have always been written at the end of the extras, but this time, I want to write a bit at the end of the main story.


    Some of my older readers might know this book¡¯s actually had a synopsis ever since I finished writing Rose & Renaissance in 2018. I even talked about it in my author¡¯s note in a VIP chapter of another book (Feiren?) It¡¯s almost been two years now, but my fourth book ended up pushing its way past this one in line. That¡¯s why I¡¯ve only written it now. At first, I had only wanted to write a cute shou in a fit of sudden impulse one day, but then I ended up leaving it for such a long time. When I finally came back to this novel, it was already the end of May 2020.


    I¡¯d been trapped in my hometown for at least half of the entire 2020 year, and that honestly extremely, extremely affected me. Whether it was my mentality towards my usual life or my writing style, they all changed very drastically. So when I picked up this novel again, with nothing but an empty outline, the first thing my mind visualised was the ending: when a disaster occurs, so many people would dedicate and sacrifice themselves. They would continue forward with their burdens, and after the dust settles, those who loved each other would give each other a comforting embrace.


    I guess you could say the main tone of this entire novel was established only after I thought of this kind of ending, of a disaster. So when some readers have said this story appears really sweet, but in reality, the tone of it leans oppressive ¡ª this is why.


    Song Yu¡¯s career choice has been questioned ever since he decided on his degree. People asked, why is he studying this or why didn¡¯t he go to T University. Everything was based on the ending in my head. I kept thinking, the reason why we can continue living on so safely is because there are other people who take our place in doing the things that must be done. They protect us without a single sound, and that¡¯s so worthy of our respect. We cannot use money, or their futures, to measure their value.


    And that includes Le Le¡¯s personality of wanting to please others, as well as his separation anxiety and PTSD towards disasters. I¡¯ve felt those things in reality, and his character was derived from that ending. He already isn¡¯t the simple, adorable character I thought up two years ago. The Yue Zhishi that appeared two years later, after I established the entire novel¡¯s tone, is the complex character that I wanted to write.


    I¡¯m very glad I was able to stick to my original ending; it hasn¡¯t really changed from what I¡¯d originally visualised. I even feel a bit like I¡¯ve circled back to the very beginning. I feel like I can see where I initially started ¡ª the Song Yu and Yue Zhishi who rush towards other people, Arctic Circle and his sole ice-free port.


    Actually, my feelings for this story is also rather complicated. On one hand, I hope everyone can feel what I hope to express, and on the other hand, I also hope everyone would never have to personally experience these things yourself. I hope you won¡¯t have to suffer because of a disaster, I hope you won¡¯t have to feel pain because of a relationship that isn¡¯t good enough. So it doesn¡¯t matter what you hear from this story; I think any sound you hear is a good sound, because people will always be different from others.


    Finally, I would like to express my gratitude towards the people who walk forward every time there¡¯s a natural or man-made disaster. I¡¯m truly very very thankful ¡ª they too have lovers and their own families, but they have no choice but to step forward bravely in order to protect even more people. They are honestly such mighty people. Now, at the end of 2020, I¡¯ve realised the importance of many jobs I never noticed before and how important those people are for holding fast to their positions. I can never say just how grateful I am for them, and I truly, seriously hope that they can be blessed in return for what they do.


    As always, thank you to every single reader who stayed with me through this serialisation period and gave me encouragement and assistance. It is you who allowed this story to unfold in its entirety, and allowed me to continue writing what I want to write. Perhaps a lot of people will think my words are simply platitudes, but they really aren¡¯t. Every day, no matter how busy I am, I would read the comments after 9pm. They gave the strength to continue writing the next chapter. Here, I give everyone a bow ¡ª it¡¯s been hard on you to chase after updates.