《An Unexpected Proposal》 Chapter 1 - Eye Contact (1) Their eyes met. As soon as Alicia realized that, she reflexively embraced her child. Thump Thump She could not tell if it was her heart that was beating so fast, or if it was her child¡¯s who had been jumping just now. There was a part of her that didn¡¯t want to know the answer. Alicia¡¯s embrace tightened. ¡°Is it your child again?¡± Alicia¡¯s voice fell and she couldn¡¯t look away. The sensation of the sweat on her back made her want to cower in fear. She wanted to run away if she could. However, there was a child in her arms. ¡°Well, it doesn¡¯t matter.¡± The man walked towards Alicia. Alicia knew it was pointless, but still covered her child¡¯s face so that it would not be seen by the man. Although he had inherited her red hair and grey eyes, her child looked more like someone else than her. Alicia was afraid that the man would notice. ¡°Alicia.¡± Alicia bowed her head. Her cheeks seemed to be burning hot even though he had only just called her name. In the past, Alicia loved having that man call out her name that way. She knew that every time he did that, a faint smile, would appear on the face of the indifferent man. But now he won¡¯t even laugh when he calls her name. ¡°I have told you not to lower your head in front of me.¡± His rough hand lifted Alicia¡¯s chin. Alicia bit her lower lip when the warmth of another person touched her skin for no reason. Her eyes were sore and could not focus. She thought she would start crying. Even though he ordered her, his hands were always cautious. Both in the past and present. The fact has kept her occupied. ¡°It¡¯s in front of the child.¡± It¡¯s worth forgetting now, but the familiar touches easily brought back memories of the past. Alicia forcefully pushed the man¡¯s hand off her face. ¡°What did I do?¡± The man¡¯s mouth was slightly distorted. ¡°Go back. There is nothing different about it.¡± Alicia avoided the man¡¯s gaze. Knowing that his gaze was stuck in one place from the beginning to now. ¡°There is nothing different?¡± The man laughed. ¡°Ha, yes. Yes, nothing will change.¡± The man¡¯s hands grabbed Alicia¡¯s shoulders. Alicia swallowed. His gaze aimed at her face were fiercely persistent. ¡°If you come back.¡± The man¡¯s lips kissed the back of Alicia¡¯s hand that was trying to push him away. Alicia turned her head to hide her face that seemed to be ready to cry at any moment. ¡°Let¡¯s go back, Alicia.¡± The man¡¯s hand patted Alicia¡¯s cheek. His hand that had held a sword for such a long time that it had taken the shape of a sword, and smelled faintly like iron. ¡°I cant.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°I have a child.¡± ¡°If I was bothered about the child, I wouldn¡¯t have come here.¡± The man¡¯s eyes turned to the child. Alicia held the child closer to her face with a ferocious look. ¡°It¡¯s not as easy as you say. I don¡¯t want to be a shameful parent to my child. Your Majesty must already have a wife¡­¡­¡± ¡°Wife?¡± Before Alicia could finish, the man clenched his teeth and puts his face closer to hers. Close enough for their nose to be touching. When she felt the breath of another person touch her lips, Alicia reflexively swallowed. The man¡¯s breath felt exceptionally hot. ¡°Ha! Okay. I¡¯ll have a wife starting today. The man glared at her while distorting his mouth. ¡°Gazeff.¡± ¡°Yes, Lord.¡± ¡°Take the child.¡± Before Alicia processed the man¡¯s words, her child had already been taken away. ¡°Mom!¡± ¡°Michael!¡± The child, who instinctively sensed the danger, cried and stretched out both hands towards his mother. Alicia tried to chase after the child but was blocked by someone¡¯s arm. ¡°What are you doing?! Give him back! He¡¯s my child! My son!¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it. I won¡¯t kill him. From now on, I will treat him as a child with noble bloodline.¡± ¡°Cabelenus!¡± ¡°¡­¡­I guess I can only hear my name from you in this situation.¡± The man grinned and tilted his head. Alicia¡¯s eyes trembled and bit her lips. ¡°I won¡¯t change my decision. If you want to get your child back from me, be my wife. That is the only way you can get that child back from me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Do you know who that child¡¯s father is?¡± ¡°If that was important, I wouldn¡¯t have come all this way.¡± ¡°Cabelenus.¡± Alicia grasped Cabelenus¡¯ arm with teary eyes. His cold gaze was unfamiliar, but she thought of her child and knew she could not avoid it. ¡°I don¡¯t care if it¡¯s another child. Even if his blood is mixed, I will raise this child as if it were my own.¡± ¡°You want to raise a child whose father is unknown as if they were your own?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Cabelenus answered without any hesitation. Alicia forgot to breathe and stared at Cabelenus. Even at that moment, his golden eyes were still shining like the sun. Like the past years, when I was blinded by that splendour. ¡°Never think of running away again using your child as an excuse.¡± Grabbing Alicia¡¯s shoulders, Cabelenus snarled like a starving beast. ¡°Because I¡¯m barely holding back my desire to crush that little creature that took you away from me.¡± Chapter 2 - Eye Contact (2) That year especially had a lot of bloodshed. It began with the horse-riding unit that came in the blazing sunlight. Blood fell from the sky instead of the rain. Piercing shrieks and the sharp sounds of swords hitting one another. The knights of Neinstein hurriedly came and fought against the enemy. But everyone already knew. Resisting was pointless. The more they fought back, the more obvious the difference in their skills were. Whether they will win or lose, became more obvious. It was the wolf of Schwarhan, Cabelenus von Schwarhan Blanche, who led the horse-riding unit in iron armor. He has never lost a battle. Cabelenus lifted his sword up into the sky. The sword shone golden under the sun. Even though he had swung his sword countless times, there was not a drop of blood on his sword. The soldiers¡¯ shouts rose. Wherever Cabelenus passed by, the enemy¡¯s presence will vanish.* Blood was smeared everywhere. One would not be able to tell if it were their¡¯s or someone else¡¯s. Alicia¡¯s nose had gone numb after having to smell blood for a long period of time. The corpses that piled up was the only way you could tell time was still passing by. The battle was more like a massacre rather than a fight. The king of Neinstein saw his helpless soldiers get killed one after another. He took treasures and gold and fled alone, abandoning his people. However, the king was caught because of a maid and was soon after beheaded by the wolf of Schwarhan. The king who was clinging onto his life, had his head hung at the top of his castle. It was a futile end for a king who ruled an entire country. The Neinstein royal family, who ruled over the country for over 500 years, was erased from history in the span of a single day. A bell rang to announce the execution of the remaining Neinstein royal family members. ¡°Execution-!¡± Whenever the executioner¡¯s cries were heard, a head would roll under the guillotine. The survivors were silenced by the fear of death. They were all well aware that the body on the guillotine, could be them tomorrow. There was no mercy from the foreign man who now occupied the palace. He knew how to deal with everything with one hand. Whenever Cabelenus¡¯ hand that was resting arrogantly on the throne, raised and lowered, life and death was clearly divided. ¡°Next.¡± His crisp voice was dry, but far more intimidating than people who deliberately raised their voice and swore. The solders quickly brought the next prisoner of war and made them kneel in front of Cabelenus. The prisoners who were screaming became silent each time they heard the bell announcing the next execution. Cabelenus looked at the prisoners with a straight face. His aide, Gazel, who stood next to the throne, calmly read the identities and chargers of the prisoners. The prisoners¡¯ eyes showed a glimpse of hope thinking they had a chance of surviving as they read the atmosphere. They were completely unaware of what had happened to the previous prisoners. Since the beginning of the execution, Cabelenus¡¯ hand was never lifted. Jokes amongst the soldiers spreaded saying that he¡¯ll raise his hand to toast after savouring all the fruits of the castle.* ¡°Wait a minute.¡± Cabelenus, who was looking down at the prisoners, narrowed his eyes. ¡°Is something wrong?¡± Gazef, who was about to write ¡®death penalty¡¯ next to the prisoner¡¯s name on the paper, stopped and followed his master¡¯s gaze. Cabelenus¡¯ gaze was on a woman. ¡°You. What is your name?¡± The woman did not answer. He forcefully strengthen his hand to hide his trembling hands. Although the woman wore generous clothes, her bare body, which was not hidden, seemed pitiful. ¡°I asked for your name.¡± Gazef noticed his lord¡¯s face and quickly identified the woman¡¯s name and informed Cabellenus. Nevertheless, Cabelenus could not take his eyes off the woman as he listened to his aide¡¯s words. Gazef frowned at his master¡¯s strange behaviour. Cabelenus, who was indifferent to the temptation of the beauties of the empire, took interest in an ordinary woman. Her features were different from the typical beauty figure, and her red hair and grey eyes made her look less attractive. ¡°It seems like the Princess of Neustein has no mouth.¡± The only unique thing is that the woman is the youngest daughter of a king. Gazef fiddled with the paper that had rough notes about the woman written on it. Alicia Neustein. A princess who was classified as a maid because of her shabby appearance. Her status was only later revealed. The woman, who looked different from her splendidly dressed brothers, somehow managed to survive. But her luck is now over. Her future will soon be like her father and brothers. ¡°No. I don¡¯t.¡± Alicia, who hesitated to meet Cabelenus¡¯ persistent gaze, squeezed out a reply. ¡°No?¡± Cabelenus tilted his head sideways. Alicia hesitated but then slowly raised her head. ¡°You¡¯re going to kill me anyways.¡± Her face was filled with fear, Alicia was not afraid to speak. Even though she was trembling, she did not look away from Cabelenus¡¯ eyes. Cabelenus frowned. He wasn¡¯t imaginating it. He knew this woman. ¡°What, you think I¡¯m gonna kill you?¡± Cabelenus stared at Alicia¡¯s tightly stretched hand. Her hands were rough and did not fit a princess. ¡°Well¡­¡­¡± She closed her lips for awhile to choose her words and finally spoke after a short rest. ¡°You killed them all.¡±¡±Not all of them.¡± Not yet. An arrogant gaze glanced over Alicia from head to toe. ¡°Do you want to live?¡± ¡°If I say so, will you let me live? Alicia¡¯s eyes were faintly vibrant. ¡°It is true that we caught the king because of you. So I can have mercy on the heartless daughter who sold her father.¡± Alicia¡¯s life was precious to her, so she sold her father. When Gazef realized that the maid who helped catch the king of Neustein, was none other than the princess herself, he clicked his tongue. ¡°Then spare the servants in the castle.¡± ¡°Servants?¡± ¡°There is no value as a hostage to servants who have no royal family or aristocracy to help resist against an enemy. Unless you plan to kill all the Neusteins in the palace, I want you to spare them. ¡°I¡¯m talking about your life.¡± ¡°If you save the royal family from ruin, it will only return.¡± A smile appeared on Alicia¡¯s face caused Cabelenus to narrow his eyes. ¡°If I ask you if you want your life and the lives of your servants spared, will your answer change?¡± ¡°If I can.¡± It wasn¡¯t that Alicia wasn¡¯t afraid of Cabelenus. Like other prisoners, she was afraid. But the princess in front of him was a little different from the others. That disturbed Cabelenus. ¡ª¡ª- TL/N: By vanish, it means the enemy is killed so their presence is no longer there since they¡¯re dead.If you did not understand what it meant by ¡®Savouring all the fruits of the castle¡¯, it means like enjoying being on the throne until he no longer found it enjoyable. Chapter 3 - The First Survivor (1) ¡°Any other requirements?¡± ¡°There is not.¡± Alicia did not hesitate to answer. ¡°Is that truly all?¡± Cabelenus tapped his fingers lightly on the armrest. Alicia¡¯s eyes met Cabelenus¡¯ and she carefully nodded her head up and down. ¡°It¡¯s a stupid idea to pretend to be a kindhearted saintess. Or was a noble priest mistaken as the princess of Neustein? But then why did you betray your father and let him be killed by my own hands?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not pretending to be kindhearted, I¡¯m just being realistic.¡± ¡°Even though I¡¯m saying you can ask for more?¡± The man who was born and raised as a conqueror did not know how to say he was giving mercy. However, there were no lies in his words. Cabellenus knew the weight of his words and always paid the consequences for what he said. Whatever Alicia was going to ask for, Cabelenus was going to listen to most of her wishes. But he didn¡¯t know if Alicia¡¯s lips would ever open. Eventually, Cabelenus, who couldn¡¯t wait any longer, spoke first. ¡°Usually when I have mercy, they ask for more.¡± ¡°You said you were being merciful but you did not give me a definite answer for my requests. I do not want to have high expectations.¡± A shallow breath came out of Alicia¡¯s mouth, where she had a scab. Cabelenus looked at it and unconsciously added strength to his clenched fist. ¡°Why did you betray your own father?¡± Cabelenus loosened his fist and uncrossed his legs. His body was leaning a little more forward than before. ¡°It does not end when only that man dies.¡± ¡°Have you thought of fighting to the very end?¡± ¡°I thought that if it was a war we could not win, it would be better to end it sooner and have at least one less person killed. And¡­¡­¡± Alicia¡¯s eyes were distorted for some time. ¡°And?¡± Cabelenus asked her quietly. It was the same as back then. Her eyes were desperate but also courageous. Cabelenus was curious. ¡°¡­¡­I wanted to die.¡± Alicia took a deep breath and answered. ¡°Because I do not deserve to live.¡± ¡°And why is that?¡± Cabelenus urged Alicia to answer again. But this time, there was no answer. Silent with her head down, Alicia seemed to have no intention of saying anything anymore. The knights who could not stand the silence anymore stepped forward. But Cabelenus stopped his men from stepping forward. His gaze did not leave Alicia. Alicia¡¯s hair was messy, her grubby clothes that made her get mistook as a maid, and her hand was covered in calluses showing the hardships she had. Cabelenus looked at the shabby woman and slowly rose his hand. Alicia was the first survivor ever since Neustein was conquered by Cabelenus. ¡ª¡ª- Please remember that chapters are split in half so we are halfway through chapter 2! So the story isn¡¯t as slow as it seems! Chapter 4 - The First Survivor She felt the sensation of warm water for the first time in a long time. Alicia stared at the water vapour filling the bathroom with her hazy eyes. She slowly wriggled her toe and her hands were fidgeting. Alicia closed her eyes and listened to her heartbeat. ¡®I¡¯m alive.¡¯ All the people who struggled to live died. Meanwhile, she, who wanted to die, survived. ¡®How filthy.¡¯ Alicia¡¯s head dropped down. A red hair woman¡¯s reflection shone above the water with rose petals floating. ¡®His taste is unique. Why would he want such a filthy woman?¡¯ Alicia let out a laugh when she recalled the man who sat arrogantly on the throne and controlled everything with one hand. Everyone was already talking about how the princess of a ruined country will warm his bed. ¡®It might be better to just bite my tongue here and die.¡¯ It may be better to end it now, since it is irrelevant whether Alicia died or not. But¡­¡­ Alicia¡¯s eyes were not focusing anymore. If she were to die, she would not be able to fufil that promise. ¡®I should not have made that promise.¡¯ It was an old promise that made it impossible for her to end her life. ¡®If I could, it would be nice if I could sleep like this and never wake up.¡¯ Alicia listened a little more to the sound of her breathing as if it would be cut of at any moment. She had many thoughts and mixed feelings, but she tried to ignore it. Since the beginning, there were not many options given to the princess of a ruined country. * * * ¡°You can move now.¡± The maid laughed as she looked at Alicia who had finished getting dressed. Alicia looked into the mirror without sincerity with an emotionless face. Each time she turned her head, the thick earring on her ear flickered. The necklace that was paired with the earrings emphasized her thin neck. The soft cloth that seemed like it would melt from someone¡¯s touch, revealed Alicia¡¯s figure. She looked much better than when she was a princess. ¡°You are really beautiful.¡± A lie. Alicia listened to the maid¡¯s words with one ear half-heartedly. Alicia knew the subject very well. No matter how much she decorates herself, the traces of her hardships will not be erased within a day or two. Both of Alicia¡¯s hands were covered with calluses due to being a mistreated princess. *Knock Knock* Alicia heard quiet knocks and the door opened. Alicia got up from her seat with a polite, but expressionless face. It was a soldier who entered the room. ¡°Are you ready?¡± The soldier with a large beard asked Alicia. The men looked up and down at Alicia. Their gazes showed that they did not see her as a human being. But what difference is there between her and an animal? Alicia¡¯s mouth slightly twisted. There was no reason to feel offended, to begin with. Alicia could only laugh because she could see the intentions of the clothes that were revealing the silhouette of her body. * * * The room was quiet enough for Alicia to feel a bit at peace. Alicia glanced at the closed door. When she had entered the room, the door was firmly closed behind her. Her only chance of escape was gone. Alicia hesitated for a while, and only began to walk around after confirming no one else was in the room. There was no way she could use this room. Alicia looked around the room with nervous eyes. The largest and the finest bedroom she has ever seen. The bedroom was filled only with the most extravagant decorations that only those on the throne of Neustein could enjoy. But now, this has become the ruler of another country to enjoy. Alicia carefully sat down on the bed. The bed, which was filled with expensive cotton, was fluffy and comfortable. It was an incomparable luxury compared to her bed made entirely out of straw. Alicia laid her back against the bed frame and gazed at herself in the glass window. A cold breeze blowing through the open window as Alicia watched the red sunset. Why on earth did he pick her? The beauty of the Neustein princesses was so famous that there were rumours in foreign countries. ¡®If he needed a woman, it would have been better to keep my sisters alive.¡¯ Alicia wondered why Elena, who was the most beautiful among the princesses, was not chosen. There was no reason to choose Alicia, who was ashamed of her title, Princess of Neustein. Rather than picking Elena, Cabelenus put the beautiful princess, Elena, on the guillotine and called Alicia to his bed. ¡®Well, how would I know what the murderer* thinks?¡¯ Alicia closed her eyes. Her back that was leaning on the hard bed frame felt cold. But this feeling was something she was familiar with. * * * ¡°Your Majesty, that woman¡­..¡± ¡°The woman?¡± Cabelenus signed the paper while holding his chin. After a large-scale purge, many became obedient. It was impossible to kill everyone, to begin with so it was necessary to prepare a compromise. ¡°The Princess of Neustein.¡± Before Gazef finished, Cabelenus¡¯ hand stopped moving. ¡°What about her?¡± ¡°They have said that she is ready.¡± Gazef awkwardly glanced at Cabelenus¡¯ golden eyes that were looking at him. It wasn¡¯t easy to serve Cabelenus even though Gazef has already served Cabelenus for quite some time. Cabelenus von Schwarhan Blanche was a man with the eyes of a beast ready to devour his prey at any moment. There is one in the Blanche Empire that did not know his name. Schwarhan¡¯s Wolf. Ruler of the North. Blood-Crazed Killer. Even though there were countless nicknames, the names proved the lineage of Cabelenus. Cabelenus was a Blanche, as well as the ruler of Schwarhan. He was the second son of the Emperor and the only brother of the current Emperor. No matter what he looked like, his noble lineage would not change. ¡°Where is she right now?¡± ¡°I was informed that she was placed in your Majesty¡¯s bedroom.¡± ¡°My bedroom?¡± Cabelenus¡¯ voice was slightly lowered. However, it was a subtle difference, so even his faithful aide did not notice the change. ¡°Are you not getting drunk?¡± Gazef asked with confidence because it was only natural. It was Cabelenus, the one who put all the beautiful Princesses of Neustein on the guillotine without a change in his emotionless expression. It was unbelievable that he was interested in an ordinary, poor woman. However, the man in front of him was Cabelenus. The natural ruler that deserved all the things he desired. ¡°I have no intention of doing that.¡± ¡°I apologize, your Majesty.¡± Gazef quickly bowed down and apologized to Cabelenus. ¡°It seems like I¡¯ve gone too far ahead of myself. I¡¯ll be preparing the bedroom now.¡± Cabelenus hates repeating himself. Gazef turned to call a servant. ¡°Wait.¡± At that moment, Cabelenus who had remained silent scratched his head. ¡°Is there something you need, your Majesty?¡± Gazef, who could not grasp what his master was thinking, stood silently. ¡°Bring me there.¡± Cabelenus said after a long silence. ¡°You mean to your bedroom?¡± ¡°No.¡± Cabelenus touched his chin for a moment and got up from his seat. ¡°I¡¯ll go by myself.¡± The ruler of the North personally goes to see the princess of a ruined country? Gazef reflexively narrowed his eyebrows and looked at Cabelenus¡¯s eyes. But he could not read the expression of his stubborn master. * * * ¡®Why are you sleeping like this on the bed?¡¯ Cabelenus found Alicia asleep, leaning on the bed frame. He slightly frowned. All Alicia was wearing when she fell asleep was a thin nightdress. No matter how you look at it, she was a woman ready for a one night stand. ¡®This woman has never acted normal.¡¯ She must have noticed what it meant to be dressed up like this. But she still fell asleep in the bedroom of the man who destroyed her country, regardless. Cabelenus felt it from their first meeting, but the woman in front of him truly is quite special. ¡°Alicia Neinstein¡± Perhaps it was because of her name. Cabelenus scratched his chin, recalling the name he had heard from Gazef. At that moment, Alicia¡¯s eyes closed eyes twitched. Alicia opened her eyes and her hazy eyes were revealed once more. Like rusty iron, her eyes were a shabby and unappealing colour. However, her voice was not bad. Even though her voice was hoarse because she had been asleep, Alicia¡¯s voice was loud and clear to Cabelenus¡¯ ears. Cabelenus stared at Alicia silently. ¡°¡­¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡± Alicia could not overcome the drowsiness despite the stinging gaze towards her. She quickly blinked several times and opened her eyes. The strange golden eyes and his thin pupil still felt unfamiliar, but Alicia could not forget it. ¡°Hah¡­¡± Alicia, trying to step back reflexively bit her lips. Her back was against the frame of the bed. She almost let out a scream. ¡°When did you come? N-no, I mean¡­..¡± Alicia, who was stuttering not knowing what to say, decided to tightly seal her lips. Alicia¡¯s back was throbbing, but Cabelenus¡¯ gaze looking down at Alicia made her forget the pain. ¡°You must have slept well.¡± Cabelenus continued to stare at her silently. Alicia did not know what to do with a man whose expression cannot be read. Alicia touched her lips and Cabelenus swallowed. He was silently watching. Alicia¡¯s cheeks turned red the moment she realized what Cabelenus¡¯ golden eyes were looking at. Cabelenus¡¯ gaze was on Alicia¡¯s lips. Chapter 5 - Why Don’t You Hug Me (1) ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± There was silence. Alicia¡¯s jaw felt strained as she tried to swallow her breath. Cabellenus silently examined Alicia¡¯s expressions and behaviour. At some point, Alicia¡¯s eyes were no longer shaking. The woman, who nodded weakly and wrapped her shoulders with her trembling hands, had a prepared look on her face. She looked prepared for something. ¡°Alicia Neinstein.¡± Cabellenus¡¯ voice rang low when he realised that Alicia¡¯s actions were not intended to protect herself. Alicia¡¯s eyes shook when she met the man¡¯s gaze, but her hands did not stop. *Tuk.* A colourful gold pin rolled onto the floor. At the same time, Cabellenus¡¯ smooth forehead was wrinkled. The Neinsteins did not sew their clothes. Instead, a dress pin on the shoulders or a strap on the waist was used to fasten the fabrics together. Thanks to this, it was very easy for a woman wearing only one thin layer to reveal her skin. Cabellenus reflexively clenched his teeth at the sight of the skin that was slightly visible through the half-flowing cloth. ¡°What are you doing?¡± ¡°You are going to get drunk.¡± There was a faint smile on Alicia¡¯s lips. ¡°Drunk?¡± Cabellenus¡¯ eyes were visibly distorted. He wanted to shout, ¡°Get dressed right away,¡± but he was dumbfounded by the existence of his weakness that showed no boundaries. There has never been a shortage of women. Many women wanted to seduce him. A woman even jumped into his bed naked, but he never faltered. It was because there was always a greater disgust of having to touch other people than physical desires. However, strangely enough, he could not take his eyes off the shabby woman. ¡°You may not be able to get what you want because you do not know your company, but I have no intention of rebelling. You can do as you please.¡± ¡°The Princess of Neinstein must not be terrified by the aggressor who defiled her land.¡± ¡°I just know how to give up.¡± Alicia lowered her gaze. She pretended to be calm, but it was shameful that she was kneeling in front of a man. The mere imagination of what would happen in the future shook her whole body regardless of her will. ¡°You¡¯re a good speaker despite being scared.¡± ¡°It is because this is all I can do.¡± ¡°Then why don¡¯t you make a wish to me again with that stupid tongue? Wish for your safety instead of the clumsy sympathy you uttered in the trial.¡± Cabellenus sarcastically looked down at Alicia with an arrogant gaze. Alicia¡¯s face, contrasted with her spilled red hair, looked pale and white. ¡°All I want to do is hope that no one innocent dies.¡± ¡°Are you serious?¡± ¡°It is better to spare the life of someone who wants to live, rather than someone who does not.¡± A faint breath escaped from Alicia¡¯s lips. Cabellenus tried to turn his attention away from her, concentrating his strength onto the brooch at his feet. At last, Cabellenus realised why Alicia had such eyes. She had no will to live. ¡°If you really want to die, you can just kill yourself.¡± There was no significant change in Alicia¡¯s expression, even though he had deliberately clicked his tongue and spoken in mockery. Cabellenus¡¯ smooth forehead wrinkled a little more. It was not like she was making a terrified face, but the fact that she had scars all over her body bothered him. ¡°¡­¡­ That¡¯s not funny.¡± Cabellenus glared at Alicia with a face so fierce it was icier than a midwinter storm. He then swung around and left the room. Only the brooch, which was crushed beyond its original appearance, remained where Cabellenus had stood. Chapter 6 - Why Don’t You Hug Me (2) ¡®What was the man thinking?¡® Alicia, who was in a daze, repeatedly blinked her eyes. A month had already passed since Cabellenus had taken over the castle. A lot had already changed, and it was a story that even a child would know that more would change in the future. The castle, once called Neinstein Castle, was now called Bizen Castle. New people and objects were filling the castle accordingly. Day by day, the situation stabilised, and in the bloodstained castle, everyone was busy preparing to welcome the new ruler. Alicia was the only old thing left in the castle. ¡°The scar is much better than before. I shall prescribe you a new medicine.¡± The doctor smiled tenderly and applied the medicine to Alicia¡¯s back. Alicia wriggled her toes. She was trying to hold back the laughter that was threatening to burst out at the touch that tickled her back. The only surviving Neinstein Royalty was demoted to slavery but, contradictorily, Alicia¡¯s life was better than before. ¡°When the treatment is over, would you like something to eat?¡± The maid, who had been by her side and was waiting until the treatment was over, politely asked. No one in the castle has been reckless with Alicia since she was branded as the ¡°Lady of the Grand Duke.¡± ¡®The man doesn¡¯t even lift a finger at me.¡¯ Cabellenus put Alicia in his bed every day but did nothing. He would just come at night and be gone in the morning. That was all. ¡°You must take care of yourself.¡± The maid added when she noticed that Alicia did not eat properly and only stirred the soup with a spoon. She was particularly sensitive to Alicia¡¯s diet. Cabellenus had once declared that on the day Alicia did not eat, he would cut the throats of everyone in the castle. Alicia barely managed to put the soup in her mouth as she watched the maid¡¯s eyes. ¡°Please try something else. Everything here is made with special care by the chef.¡± The maid tried to arouse Alicia¡¯s appetite by explaining how each meal was prepared and how special they were but to no avail. The soup, boiled with plenty of ingredients by the kingdom¡¯s best chef, was the most delicious soup Alicia has ever eaten, but her meal intake was suddenly being increased so she did not have much of an appetite. If it was not for the maid¡¯s frightened gaze, she would not have emptied a whole bowl. ¡°Does it not suit your taste? If you have any food you want to eat, please feel free to tell me.¡± There was one thing that came to mind when the maid asked her what she wanted to eat. Her mother¡¯s soup. A soup which was dirty and tasteless, boiled with plenty of water to increase the amount of unknown paste that stood in place of the abundant ingredients. Alicia thought that she could empty any number of bowls of that, but the mother who cooked the soup no longer existed in this world. ¡°No. This is enough.¡± Alicia silently ate the soup with her head down. However, no matter how much soup she ate, that was all. The hollow sense of emptiness never disappeared no matter how much she swallowed. * * * ¡®It¡¯s just me again today.¡¯ Alicia folded her hands as she watched Cabellenus enter the room. To be honest, she was scared. The expressionless man looked calm, but his golden eyes, which showed his prominent pupils, were similar to those of a beast. She did not know when he would suddenly turn into a beast, revealing his teeth. ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯m curious about something.¡± At this rate, it would be the same, day after day. Either way, change was necessary to reach a clean end. Alicia¡¯s eyes trembled as she stared at the back of the man sitting on the bed. Cabellenus showed no response for a moment and then turned his head to face Alicia. ¡°What are you curious about?¡± Unexpectedly, the man spoke softly. ¡°Why don¡¯t you hug me?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t know you wanted to be held by me.¡± There was a moment of silence. Despite Cabellenus¡¯ casual remark, Alicia¡¯s mouth dried up. ¡°If not, there is no reason to keep me alive.¡± ¡°Do I look short of women?¡± Cabellenus raised his head. Contrary to expectations, the glistening eyes stood out between the fine, black hair that was brushed against his straight forehead. A man who knew his worth was arrogant, but even his appearance caught the eye of the beholder. Funnily enough, the Schwarhan blood-crazy killer was so beautiful that his blood-stained notoriety was overshadowed. A tight, muscular neck visible below his sharply carved jawline, along with the contours of his stiff muscles peeking out from underneath the thin shirt cloth. If no one had not actually seen Cabellenus, no one would have dared to imagine such a face under a bloody black helmet. ¡°There¡¯s no other reason to keep me alive.¡± ¡°If that was the reason, I would have saved the other princesses, not you who looked more like a maid than a princess.¡± Cabellenus examined Alicia¡¯s face as he rested his chin on his hand. With a steady diet and care, Alicia had become quite plausible. She no longer looked like an old beggar. But still, there was nothing pretty in his eyes. Compared to the women in the Empire, a woman with rusty iron-like hair and dull grey eyes was really shabby. ¡°Maybe it¡¯s a moment¡¯s whim.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Or, it could be sympathy.¡± Cabellenus tilted his head slightly. The man¡¯s slender eyes stared at Alicia as if he was searching for an answer. He was fully aware that she was a shabby woman. But he could not forget those eyes. He wanted to see the face that expressed emotions more clearly, not the eyes that were dying like that. It was not until he confirmed it that he could be sure of what he was doing. ¡°I do not think you are the kind of person who sympathises with the princess of the country.¡± Alicia¡¯s face showed no emotion. She looked at Cabellenus with the eyes of a bystander, as if she had nothing to do with her death. ¡°That¡¯s the same for me.¡± Cabellenus, who turned his body to face Alicia, grinned. He knew better than anyone that sympathy and himself did not match. Nevertheless, he had high expectations for such a remark. He had an inexplicable expectation of when that woman would look at him with human eyes. ¡°I¡¯m not going to rebel.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t have a hobby of hugging a log.¡± [T/N: he¡¯s saying he has no intention of embracing her.] ¡°Then kill me.¡± Alicia took a deep breath and placed her hands over her chest. Unlike her mouth, the thumping heartbeat delivered through her palm was strongly telling her she was alive. ¡°Why should I do that?¡± ¡°There is nothing good about saving my life. I think it is right to get rid of useless things.¡± ¡°You speak as if you are an object.¡± ¡°A slave is an object.¡± No matter how well she was treated, Alicia always knew her place. She was the king¡¯s illegitimate child, the princess of a ruined country, and a slave whose use was unclear and may die at any moment. Nothing in Alicia¡¯s life taught her hope. ¡°I know. There are no slaves in Neinstein.¡± ¡°Not in Neinstein, but in Blanche.¡± Alicia¡¯s straight gaze did not falter. Neinstein was already mixed with Blanche¡¯s culture. It was obvious that over time, Blanche¡¯s name would be more suitable for this land than Neinstein. ¡°Then, even if I hand you over to an old, grotesque man, you will obey?¡± ¡°If that is your command.¡± Alicia¡¯s answer came out easily, but on the contrary, Cabellenus¡¯ mouth was distorted. ¡°Why are you so impatient to die?¡± ¡°Do I have to state my reason?¡± ¡°You never know. If I like your story, I will give you a merciful death. You don¡¯t intend to die with your own hands anyway.¡± Alicia¡¯s expression became subtle. She did not know if Cabellenus had an ulterior motive but his words of death were tempting. ¡°¡­ I am tired.¡± ¡°You are tired?¡± ¡°If you go through hundreds of situations where you can¡¯t do anything even if you try to struggle, you¡¯re the first to learn to give up. They shrink back first, thinking that it¡¯s not going to work anyway.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°And at some point, you get exhausted from even giving up. That¡¯s all. ¡° ¡°Why don¡¯t you die on your own when you¡¯re tired?¡± Alicia glanced at Cabellenus. The man had a slight change in his expression and his eyes were full of an unhidden interest. ¡®Maybe I can die this time.¡¯ Alicia unconsciously swallowed dry saliva. ¡°There¡¯s a superstition in Neinstein that those who commit suicide can¡¯t go to Rubertine.¡± ¡°Rubertine?¡± ¡°It¡¯s a land where people who live noble and die. go. Such as those who do a lot of good things or live honourably, who have never cheated or hurt others before. Those who took their own lives cannot even dare to step in.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t expect you to believe such superstitions.¡± ¡°¡­¡­I don¡¯t believe it.¡± ¡°Then, why are you trying to keep it?¡± ¡°There¡¯s someone I have to meet.¡± Chapter 7 - I Was Mistaken (1) Alicia¡¯s mother always told her stories about Rubertine. ¡°My daughter and I are going to Rubertine someday. We are going to live happily there.¡± Alicia thought it was all a vain hope, but she did not speak out. She could not forget her mother¡¯s earnest eyes and how she had held Alicia¡¯s hand tightly at the moment of her death whispering, ¡°Let¡¯s meet again in Rubertine.¡± Alicia always missed her mother dearly. Her longing reached the point where she was begging, for death from a man in an enemy country, while clinging on to an unbelieving superstition. ¡°If my story had shaken your heart a little, please end my life now.¡± Alicia rose cautiously and knelt before Cabellenus. With her hands together, she gazed at the man¡¯s eyes that looked like a beast and pleaded for mercy with a faint voice. ¡°¡­¡­I have no intention of killing you.¡± Cabellenus exhaled a dejected breath and swept up his hair with a rather rough gesture. ¡°Why?¡± Alicia¡¯s grey pupils shook. Cabellenus tightly clenched his fist. ¡°Because I don¡¯t want to.¡± It was enough for a woman who wanted to die, to just die. But the woman before him was too small and fragile to be talking about death. If the neck was that thin, he was confident that he could break it with one hand without needing to pull out his sword. But¡­ those eyes had always been the problem. The faded, dull eyes of the woman bothered him. ¡°Even if I¡¯m worthless, I¡¯m also a member of Neinstein¡¯s royal family. You won¡¯t have any trouble if you kill me for the future. ¡± ¡°Trouble ¡­?¡± Alicia gulped down her breath, trying not to be startled by the low growling voice. ¡°You must be mistaken, but it¡¯s up to me to make a judgment. It¡¯s not a matter of a mere slave.¡± In an instant, his breath touched her lips. Surprised, Alicia blinked slowly, unable to judge the situation. Without a moment to move away, Cabellenus¡¯s face was right in front of her nose. His dark golden eyes looked like it contained the sun. At such close proximity that their noses almost touched, even a tiny breath would reach each other. ¡°I just¡­.¡± She was going to say something, but when she saw his eyes that were sharp as if they were burning, she got goosebumps all over her body and her mind went blank. The man in front of her was ¡®real¡¯. It was completely different from her father, who was just drunk on the name of the royal family. The man, who was so sharp that he could cut everything off at any moment, was like a beast covered in human skin. Not only was he born into the royal family, but he also achieved all the glory himself. He was the real ruler. ¡°You¡¯ve been so scared and yet, you¡¯re so good at speaking out.¡± ¡® ¡­ Did he laugh?¡¯ It may have been an illusion, but for a moment, she thought she saw Cabellenus¡¯s eyes draw a slight arc. Alicia¡¯s expression, which had hardened like a stone, became subtle. ¡°Don¡¯t even think about it. I don¡¯t overturn my decisions.¡± Cabellenus slowly exhaled and tilted his head. ¡°You¡¯re not going to change it?¡± Alicia¡¯s eyes unwittingly followed his movement. It was said that the ruler had the power to charm the opponent in any way. Instinctively distracting people¡¯s minds and making them follow. She was uncertain whether or not the story she heard was true, but at first glance, one thing was certain. The man before her eyes was such a person. ¡°I won¡¯t kill you.¡± ¡°You said you would show mercy.¡± ¡°I said I could do it for you. I never gave a definite answer that I would make it happen.¡± That was what he said at the trial. Alicia gave a false laugh without realising it. ¡°Then do I have to live like this forever?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯s a bad life. At least it¡¯s better than living as a maid or a princess.¡± Alicia¡¯s expression was noticeably distorted. She thought she had forgotten about the shame from before, but seeing the eyes search her face somehow made her upset. ¡°¡­¡­Your Majesty doesn¡¯t really know anything. What kind of heart did I hope for mercy?¡± Alicia let go of her hands which she had been clenched together grasping an invisible lifeline. She relaxed her body, which was stiffened by tension and looked up at Cabellenus with weak eyes. If she moved her head a little bit, really just a little, their lips would touch. ¡®If I kiss him first, will he kill me?¡¯ It was more of an impulse, but Alicia knew it was the only way to shake that arrogant ruler. And, the action was faster than the thought. *Touch* ¡°What are you doing?¡± In a blink of an eye, Cabellenus grabbed Alicia¡¯s shoulders and growled. The man¡¯s eyes seemed to devour the life in his hands at any moment. It was horrifying to the point where it made her shudder all over with goosebumps. ¡°I wonder if you are willing to kill me now that a low-class slave has touched your precious body without permission.¡± Nevertheless, Alicia struggled to maintain a smile by forcibly pushing up her lips. It was a very brief moment, almost like an illusion, but it definitely touched him. The slight warmth left on his lips was telling the truth more vividly than anything else. Chapter 8 TL: Kay (kkrivulet) It would have been better to finish it then. Cabellenus glanced at Alicia who was walking along the garden¡¯s promenade and gently smoothed his wrinkled forehead with his index finger. He just thought her eyes were the problem, but they were not. Now he could not forget the expression from a few days ago. ¡°It¡¯s ridiculous.¡± Cabellenus exhaled a dejected breath. Since that day, he had been spending the night in the Oval Office, not in his bedroom. On the surface, he used his work as an excuse, but in fact, it was awkward to run into Alicia. Additionally, Cabellenus was well aware that in these cases, not much good would happen. The intuition of a man who had spent half his life on the battlefield was as sensitive as a beast. ¡°My Lord, may I come in for a moment?¡± As Cabellenus stared absentmindedly at the garden, there was a sharp knock on the door. It was his aide, Gazeff. ¡°What¡¯s the matter?¡± ¡°His Imperial Majesty is calling for you.¡± Gazeff smiled awkwardly and presented the communications mirror. His Lord was not too pleased to hear from the Emperor. ¡°Come in.¡± Cabellenus beckoned for Gazeff with a short sigh. It was not very pleasant to talk to the Emperor, but it had to be done once anyway. ¡¸Oh my. Oh my. It¡¯s so difficult to see the face of the famous Grand Duke of the North.¡¹ As soon as the communication was established, the Emperor, who appeared in the mirror, groaned. At first glance, the Emperor¡¯s appearance was reminiscent of Cabellenus, and it made it clear that the two were blood relatives. ¡°Why did you contact me?¡± ¡¸I thought I¡¯d get a report by now, but I haven¡¯t heard from you at all.¡¹ ¡°I was going to contact you soon.¡± ¡¸If that¡¯s the case, I should have waited a little longer. I was wondering how much this brusque little brother would bother me, but it¡¯s different. You always never contact me first.¡¹ ¡°I¡¯ve written the report in good faith.¡± ¡¸What¡¯s a mere report? The first thing to do is to check your face to see if my only blood relative is unscathed.¡¹ Gerpenus laughed so hard that his teeth were exposed as he pushed his face closer to the mirror. ¡°I thought you just didn¡¯t want to check it.¡± ¡¸I can¡¯t tell you right away because you¡¯re going to cut short this call.¡¹ ¡°Then I¡¯ll hang up right now.¡± ¡¸Wait! Wait!¡¹ Gerpenus shook his hand urgently over the communications mirror. He just wanted to play a little prank, but his cold-hearted brother did not know how to play along. ¡°Just get to the point. Unlike you, I¡¯m very busy.¡± ¡¸I call you ¡®brother¡¯ comfortably, so please call me ¡®brother¡¯ too.¡¹ ¡°Can I hang up, please?¡± ¡¸Cabellenus, you cold-hearted brother. It¡¯s been a long time since you¡¯ve seen your brother, but you¡¯re so cold. You don¡¯t have any cuteness at all.¡¹ Gerpenus clicked his tongue and leaned against the throne. He tried to increase the time of communication through small talk, but it was not good enough for his insensitive brother. ¡°I just want to get to the point.¡± ¡¸I heard you kept the Princess of Neinstein alive.¡¹ ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡¸I was wondering if it¡¯s true!¡¹ While Gerpenus¡¯s voice rose higher, the smooth forehead of Cabellenus became deeply wrinkled. ¡¸I thought you had no interest in women. You looked at me like I was worse than a stone when I introduced you to one, but you let her into your bedroom! If Father had heard, he would have jumped out of the coffin.¡¹ ¡®I thought it was true when I heard the rumour.¡® Gerpenus raised the corners of his mouth and smiled mischievously. ¡°It¡¯s none of your business.¡± ¡¸If I don¡¯t care, who will? Tell me something. What kind of woman is she?¡¹ Cabellenus wrinkled his eyes with a frown, revealing his distaste without filtering it, but Gerpenus¡¯s twinkling eyes were already full of interest. ¡°I told you it¡¯s none of your business.¡± ¡¸I told you to clean up all of Neinstein¡¯s blood.¡¹ Gerpenus frowned begrudgingly. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s jaw muscles twitched. ¡¸It¡¯s rare for anyone to disobey my orders and survive, but how can I point a sword at my dear brother?¡¹ ¡°You called to say this?¡± ¡¸This wicked brother always has to use authority to make you listen. If you feel wronged, you can become the Emperor. Should I hand over the throne even now? I¡¯d give you the throne as long as you want it.¡¹ Gerpenus said it like a joke, but there was a sincerity in it. Cabellenus tried to turn a blind eye to the fact and held a hand against his forehead. ¡°She¡¯s an ordinary woman.¡± No matter how good a woman was, he did not know if he could describe a woman who only wanted to die as ¡®normal¡¯. Cabellenus gazed out the window and leaned back against it. Alicia was still spending time sitting still on the garden bench. Thanks to the cloudless weather, her reddish-brown hair looked even more dreary and shabby. On second thought, there was indeed nothing special about her. ¡¸An ordinary woman seduced my brother?¡¹ ¡°I was not seduced.¡± ¡¸Then did you seduce her? Was she the most beautiful woman you¡¯ve ever seen? A terrible beauty? Pretty?¡¹ ¡°The Emperor of a country shouldn¡¯t say such vulgar things.¡± ¡¸Strict. Well, yeah. All right, that¡¯s not what¡¯s important right now.¡¹ Gerpenus smiled contently and touched his chin. ¡°I told you, it¡¯s none of your business. Nothing happened, and nothing will happen.¡± ¡¸That¡¯s something to wait and see.¡¹ ¡°There¡¯s nothing to see.¡± ¡¸Shall we make a bet then? Whether you¡¯ll fall for the Princess of Neinstein or not?¡¹ ¡°I¡¯m not free enough to make a bet.¡± Cabellenus shook his head firmly. ¡¸Come on, come on. Let¡¯s give it a try. Don¡¯t you think it¡¯s going to be fun? For your information, I bet you¡¯ll fall for the Princess of Neinstein.¡¹ ¡°I don¡¯t want to.¡± ¡¸Why? Because you think you¡¯re going to lose?¡¹ Gerpenus¡¯s eyes narrowed. He was an Emperor, even though he pretended to be nice and generous. If Cabellenus was a hunting dog, Gerpenus was a hunter who handled the dog. It was impossible to miss such a golden opportunity. ¡°I don¡¯t want to do anything useless.¡± ¡¸Even if you win this bet, you won¡¯t have to come back to the palace?¡¹ ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡¸One year. No. I¡¯ll be especially kind and allow you to have 10 years without coming back.¡¹ Cabellenus¡¯s eyebrows wriggled faintly. The words from just before were actually a little tempting. ¡¸Just as you said, it¡¯s possible that nothing will happen. It¡¯s not a bad opportunity for you either, so why don¡¯t you give entertainment to your older brother who is tired of playing with the imperial family?¡¹ Gerpenus softly whispered. He was the only one who was not afraid of Cabellenus. ¡°Stop talking nonsense and get to work. If you have nothing more to say, I¡¯ll leave.¡± Gerpenus was a man who would do whatever he could once his mind was set on something. Even if Cabellenus played along with him without a loss, there were only more troublesome things. ¡®And most of all¡­¡­.¡¯ Cabellenus turned his head back to the window and stopped thinking. Alicia was getting up from the garden bench. Maybe the walk was over. At that moment, a ray of sunshine shone through the clouds. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡®Oh, our eyes met.¡¯ A thought ran through Cabellenus¡¯s mind. It was just an illusion. Cabellenus was the only one who thought their eyes met. Although he knew the truth, Cabellenus could not take his eyes off Alicia. Alicia¡¯s red hair, which had always been regarded as shabby as rusted iron, momentarily made him think it seemed like an intense glow reflected in the sunlight. It was for a short moment, but he could not erase the idea from his mind. Naturally, her eyes flashed in his mind too. Cabellenus wondered what colour her eyes would have shone at that moment. ¡¸Oh, don¡¯t tell me you claim that nothing¡¯s going to happen, but you¡¯re not actually sure? That¡¯s why you don¡¯t have the confidence to win.¡¹ ¡°¡­¡­Okay, let¡¯s do it.¡± Cabellenus, who finally came to his senses at the mischievous voice of Gerpenus, muttered with his teeth clenched. When he closed his eyes again and opened them, Alicia¡¯s hair was still as shabby as rusted iron. But it was strange. He could not bear the feeling of his stomach churning even as he faced reality. He did not want to admit it. Chapter 9 TL: Kay (kkrivulet) ¡¸Yes. That¡¯s a good idea. It¡¯s your duty to play along with your brother.¡¹ ¡°I have no intention of losing.¡± It was either his desire to win or his unyielding pride. Regardless, it did not matter. What was certain was that he had always been tough. Even his attitude towards Gerpenus was unseemly and unpleasant. So Gerpenus had to find a reason. Otherwise, it seemed that Gerpenus would not be able to shake off this jarring feeling. ¡¸That¡¯s the same for me. A man will never be bothered by a woman he doesn¡¯t care about.¡¹ Gerpenus grinned and poured wine into his glass. The cunning emperor¡¯s gaze was on Cabellenus¡¯s thumb, unconsciously touching his lips. * * * On a sunny day, it was easy to spend time sitting on a bench. No matter what Alicia said or did, no one cared. Alicia was openly Cabellenus¡¯s woman, a separate entity. Even if she was living a much better life than she used to, she was still a stranger in Neinstein Castle. Just as water and oil could not mix Alicia could not enter the masses of the common people. But Alicia was not particularly sad about that. It was a familiar routine for her. Rather than sadness, right now, Alicia¡¯s mind was full of wonder. Alicia touched her lips with dazed eyes. Even though it was a very short, sharp moment, the warmth of others that she touched for the first time was extremely vivid. ¡®It was surprisingly warm.¡¯ It was natural that the living had warmth, but it was extraordinary. She thought he would be cold because he was a man who did not seem to have a drop of blood, but he was not. His uncharacteristically bewildered eyes were stuck in her head as if they had been stuffed, and it kept coming to mind. [T/N: the phrase ¡°stuff (one¡¯s) head with (something) means to be preoccupied with an idea/notion of something.] ¡®I shouldn¡¯t have done that.¡¯ Alicia could not bear the unforgettable memory and shut her eyes tightly. Everything she was going through right now was beyond her imagination, so she did not know what to do. ¡°You seem to be doing pretty well.¡± Alicia slowly raised her head and was met with a stack of blankets that appeared out of nowhere. She could not see the maid¡¯s face as the sun was behind her, but her voice was familiar. ¡°And you¡¯re doing well, too.¡± Alicia smiled with a look of regret. Although she was not a maid who usually served Alicia, it was not difficult to recognise her identity. She was Veilita, a retired old knight who once served the Queen of the Neinstein Royal Family. ¡°I came here because I needed the help of the princess.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t know until today that you thought I was a princess.¡± Alicia¡¯s lips twisted. Alicia¡¯s thigh still had burn marks from the hot tea poured by the queen. And Velita was one of the people who laughed at Alicia covered in tea. Alicia could affirm that when Velita called her, she would have been more likely to use the expression ¡®insect¡¯ rather than ¡®princess¡¯. ¡°Even if it¡¯s a princess begging for her life in a filthy way with the invaders, as long as she is a successor with the blood of Neinstein, she must do her part. Isn¡¯t that a reward for the queen who had fed and clothed you? And, thanks to the noble blood flowing through your body?¡± ¡°If you¡¯re going to such nonsense, simply disappear from my sight right now.¡± Alicia evaded Velita¡¯s gaze with a weary face. Even though she knew that the queen was dead, her fingertips trembled from just the thought of her. Everyone said it was benevolent of the queen to accept the princess, who was born as an illegitimate child, but what she did to Alicia was no mercy, but abuse in a mask of mercy. However, she could not get Velita to understand that. It was better not to react to anything in case of fuss. ¡°I also don¡¯t want to waste time with long words. Anyway, the main point I¡¯m going to talk about is very simple.¡± Velita smiled confidently. ¡°The woman who gave birth to you, we have her.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t lie.¡± Alicia replied quickly. ¡°You don¡¯t believe me.¡± ¡°My mother is dead.¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter if you believe it or not.¡± Velita took out a pendant from her clothes and threw it at Alicia. Alicia picked up the pendant that fell on her lap with a nervous face. It was then. A familiar voice was heard as Alicia touched the pendant that had opened from the impact of the fall. Alicia looked up at Velita with confusion. Velita was already confident of her victory. ¡°It¡¯s a pendant made from the blood of the woman who gave birth to you. So it only reacts when someone with the same blood touches it. You¡¯ve experienced it before, haven¡¯t you? It¡¯s a necklace that responds to its flesh and blood. The kingdom uses this method to identify lineage.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It took quite a while to make such a valuable magic tool in this situation, but your reaction shows that it was not in vain. Velita laughed triumphantly and grabbed Alicia¡¯s chin. ¡°I¡¯ll say it again. It doesn¡¯t matter if you believe it or not. The important thing is you have no choice but to obey me. If you disobey me, it will not be you who will see blood, it will be that woman.¡± ¡°¡­..What do you want?¡± ¡°Cabellenus. Kill him.¡± The pupils seen through Velita¡¯s wrinkled eyes glistened under the light. The eyes showed an indelible madness. ¡°¡­¡­ What?¡± ¡°Thanks to her blood inheritance, you seem to have a natural talent for enticing men, so let¡¯s use it.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t.¡± Cabellenus did not even embrace Alicia. And even if he did, the situation would not change. Cabellenus was an experienced warrior. She did not know how to loosen his usual vigilance while he was resting, and there was always a weapon by his bedside. Attempting to assassinate such a man was nothing but outrageous. ¡°No. You have to. You want to save her.¡± ¡°What if I fail.¡± ¡°I told you. She¡¯d see blood. So kill the devil when you say good things.¡± ¡°Killing him will not change anything.¡± ¡°No. It¡¯ll be over once that killer dies. The Kingdom of Neinstein is not dead yet.¡± Velita roughly grinds her teeth while holding Alicia¡¯s shoulders. Alicia opened her lips to persuade Velita but quickly closed her mouth and bit her lips. An old knight intoxicated with the glory of the past knew nothing, both in the past and present. The Neinstein Royal Family was not loved. It was only the subject of hatred, resentment, and fear. When the king was beheaded, the tears shed by the majority of the Neinsteins were not grief. Chapter 10 Alicia clenched her fists to hide her trembling hand. She could not be sure that her mother was alive from just one pendant. In the first place, Alicia had witnessed her mother¡¯s death before her. ¡°Above all things, you are capable of making these things in your lifetime. This doesn¡¯t prove that my mother is alive. You¡¯re just trying to take advantage of me.¡° Alicia tried hard to calm her beating heart, but she could not stop thinking. In retrospect, they were not necessarily suspicious. The queen and her followers often spoke about how wasteful it was to prove Alicia was a royal. As a result, Alicia could guess how much money and effort it would have cost to make a pendant that could identify her blood. They would not have made such an expensive item for her mother. ¡®Perhaps, mother really is alive.¡¯ Alicia raised her hand and tied a trinket around her hair. On the surface, it looked just like a piece of jewellery that held her hair in position, but if twisted, a weapon with a sharp blade would pop out. ¡®If I try to kill him¡­¡­.¡¯ Alicia shook her head without thinking any further. Velita was confident that a slight wound was all that was required for the weapon¡¯s deadly poison to kill the killer. But in reality, Alicia could not get close enough to even scratch him. Even killing Cabellenus was a problem. Cabellenus was the brother of the emperor. Additionally, the once invaded Kingdom of Neinstein did not have the power to overcome the empire. Velita was busy bragging about how many and how great people the Kingdom of Neinsten were, but if they were really that great, there was no way the kingdom would have fallen in the first place. The death of Cabellenus was sure to only result in the extermination of all the surviving kingdoms. Alicia closed her eyes with a long sigh. In the first place, she was not in a position where she could sincerely rejoice about the possibility of her mother being alive. In the end, Alicia had only one option. Alicia looked helplessly at her face in the mirror, with her eyes wide open. The maids always tried to decorate her as beautifully as possible, but they could not help with her face stained with melancholy. A pale face that was always filled with a deep stiffness. Alicia was aware of her expression, but she did not attempt to conceal it. However, it was a little sad to think that it would be the last time. She had suddenly tasted all the good things that she had never had, and now it felt like a pity to leave like this. Alicia picked up a lipstick on the dressing table. With an awkward hand, she carefully painted along the lip line. ¡°It doesn¡¯t suit me at all.¡± It was a clumsy attempt of putting on makeup. Her lip line was not aligned properly and was crooked, and her lips were overcoated and overly red. Her face was already pale, so it looked like her lips were floating around. It was a terrible look. However, Alicia liked it very much. She thought she would be able to relieve her nervousness by looking at something ridiculous. * * * ¡°You came early today.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Even that night, too, stiff greetings came and went between each other. It was not just one or two nights together, even if nothing had happened, but there was always silence between the two. Alicia swallowed dryly as she looked at the still, expressionless man. She did not know the reason why Cabellenus had saved her. Whether it was curiosity or compassion, it was all over now. No matter how relaxed a man might be, he would not look at the assassin that had sought his life. ¡°What did you do today?¡± ¡°I just took a walk because the sun was nice.¡± ¡°Does the Princess of Neinstein like to walk?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t think I would be alive up to now, so I just didn¡¯t know what to do.¡± Alicia curled her legs up and stared at Cabellenus¡¯s back. The man¡¯s back was very large and wide, and Alicia envied it. If she had been so strong, she would not have been so exhausted and be wishing for death. ¡°Do you still want to die?¡± ¡°If so, would you kill me?¡± ¡°No.¡± Alicia¡¯s lips twitched at the unhesitating, firm answer. ¡°You¡¯re not going to kill me, so why do you ask if I want to die every night?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± She wanted to hear the answer, but the only thing that came back was silence. Alicia stared at him, pulling her legs closer towards her, and pursed her lips. ¡°If you have something to say, say it.¡± Cabellenus spoke indifferently. Perhaps he had felt Alicia¡¯s gaze. Even though he had his back turned, the sensitive man easily reacted to the gaze of others. ¡°Do you really have no intention of killing me?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Then, what will you do?¡± Alicia unconsciously gulped down dry saliva. She was supposed to be calm, but her hands were already filled with sweat. ¡°Do you want anything besides death?¡± ¡°Will you listen if I say yes?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s hand, which was taking off his coat, stopped for a moment. Alicia did not notice Cabellenus¡¯s subtle reaction. It was hard for her to soothe her trembling body and keep her head raised firmly. Alicia was always afraid of Cabellenus, even though he declared that he would not kill her. It seemed okay, but when she looked straight at those eyes, her heart seemed to suddenly drop. When she stood in front of him, her hair stood upright, and her legs trembled. She even thought she wanted to cry like a child. The golden eyes with the prominent pupils seem to be indifferent, but with a closer look inside them, revealed the hunting instincts of a beast. ¡°If it¡¯s a request I can grant, I can listen to it to some extent.¡± Cabellenus muttered in a low voice. His voice was a little lower than before. ¡°Hug me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alicia took a deep breath as she glanced at Cabellenus, who had not responded to her words. As soon as her breathing subsided, she moved her lips again. ¡°If you wouldn¡¯t kill me¡­¡­. Please hug me.¡± Chapter 11 TL: Kay (kkrivulet) ¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about.¡± As Cabellenus turned around, their eyes became entangled in the air. Alicia tried hard to remain calm to the cold man¡¯s gaze, but she could not do anything about the thumping of her heart. Even though they shared a bed and continued to spend the night together, Alicia was afraid of Cabellenus. ¡°It¡¯s exactly as it suggests. If you don¡¯t want to kill me, hug me as a woman.¡± ¡°Why have you suddenly changed your mind?¡± ¡°I¡¯m trying to adapt to reality.¡± ¡°Reality?¡± ¡°If I¡¯m not going to die anyway, then it¡¯s better to live as Your Grace¡¯s woman, right? I want to enjoy good things if I have to live.¡± Although she managed to catch Cabellenus¡¯s gaze without running away, Alicia foresaw her failure. [T/N: to catch someone¡¯s gaze = to get their attention.] Cabellenus looked down at her dryly, indicating that he had not fallen for the awkward seduction. ¡°The Princess of Neinstein is not good at lying.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not lying.¡± ¡°If you say that with a face of death, you won¡¯t have any credit at all.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Besides, I don¡¯t lack enough women to hold a woman shivering like a newborn foal.¡± Even more so, a woman who blushes at the sight of a man¡¯s bare skin. Cabellenus unbuttoned and took off his shirt without changing a single expression. Alicia chewed her lower lip with a red-tinted face. ¡°If you want good things, even if you don¡¯t do anything, I¡¯ll give you as much as you want. Jewellery? Dresses? What¡¯s good? Tell me what you need.¡± [T/N: Omg he¡¯s a next-level sugar daddy.] ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°When the day is bright, send someone. Get some clothes and buy some jewellery. Can¡¯t that be called a good thing?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t really want that at all.¡± The eyes that seemed to know everything scoured her from head to toe. Alicia shrank back from the cold sweat that had fallen down her back. ¡°Stop thinking nonsense.¡± He was already confused enough without her doing such a thing. Cabellenus touched his forehead and swallowed. The eyes of the young woman kept irritating him. He did not want to admit it, but he could not deny it either. ¡°Move to the separate palace tomorrow. You don¡¯t have to wait for me every night anymore.¡± He might feel better if he did not see her. Cabellenus inadvertently spat out an order, but when he faced Alicia, he frowned. She had turned pale. Her face was originally pale, but now it was too much. ¡°Princess Neinstein.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Alicia Neinstein.¡± Cabellenus called out to Alicia again. Only then did Alicia look back at Cabellenus. There was a look of bewilderment on her face. ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Is there something wrong?¡± ¡°No, there isn¡¯t.¡± Alicia shook her head quickly but could not escape Cabellenus¡¯s gaze. Her body was trembling slightly, like someone who was afraid of something. Cabellenus unconsciously took a step towards Alicia. ¡°What are you afraid of?¡± The distance between Cabellenus and Alicia narrowed. ¡°It¡¯s nothing.¡± Alicia avoided his eyes with a troubled look. Cabellenus tried to open his mouth to ask more questions but quickly shut it. It was ridiculous to ask questions. There was no need to know the circumstances of the princess who was reduced to a slave, and even if he wanted to know he would have given orders. It was funny that he thought of asking questions, not orders. However, knowing that, Cabellenus could not abandon the question he had asked Alicia. He still remembered the first time he met Alicia. A woman who was chasing after her father with her teeth clenched and legs limping. She took up arms to kill her father, who gave birth to her, instead of Cabellenus, who invaded the castle. [T/N: took up arms = to arm yourself with weapons in preparation of a fight.] If Cabellenus had not killed the King of Neinstein, perhaps his daughter would have killed him. Looking at the eyes of the desperate Alicia, Cabellenus suddenly thought so, and soon became curious. Cabellenus looked down at the crouching Alicia. Although he had pretended that he did not know, he had no choice but to admit it. The man was curious about the woman. ¡°¡­¡­ Do you still want to be hugged by me?¡± The man¡¯s voice was quieter than before, but Alicia, who was so nervous, did not notice it. She could not understand the strange question that appeared out of nowhere, so she curled her lips. ¡°I asked if you wanted to hug me.¡± Cabellenus said again. ¡°¡­¡­will you hug me?¡± Alicia hesitated and asked, raising her head carefully. Her wet eyes glisten in the light. Cabellenus¡¯s jaw muscles twitched from the sight. ¡®A man will never be bothered by a woman he doesn¡¯t care about.¡¯ Why, at that moment, did the words of Gerpenus come to mind? Cabellenus sighed, recalling his half-brother, who had been mischievously laughing. ¡°I want to confirm something.¡± In fact, he already knew that his feelings for Alicia were not just pure curiosity. He had never been interested in other people¡¯s affairs. It was a contradiction to be only curious about Alicia. ¡°Confirm?¡± Instead of answering, Cabellenus stretched out his hand. Alicia reflexively closed her eyes. Although it was for a brief moment, the moment felt so slow it was as if time had stopped. *Touch* Startled by the touch on her cheek, Alicia hurriedly opened her eyes. Cabellenus¡¯s hand was wrapped around Alicia¡¯s cheek. *Gulp* Alicia swallowed reflexively. The texture of the palm of the hand, which was hardened in the shape of the handle of the sword, was rough. But the touch was warmer and softer than Alicia thought. Just like his lips which she had touched not too long ago. A blush fell on her cheeks at the sudden memory. ¡°Not bad.¡± Cabellenus murmured softly, looking at the lightly dyed cheeks of Alicia. He had never been pleased with the presence of others. However, the warmth in his hands did not bother him. No, rather, he liked it. He did not apply any strength as he knew that she was weak enough to break even if her opponent gave only a little strength. On the contrary, he was on the edge, because he was afraid he would accidentally take away her weak life. Nevertheless, he did not want to let go. The hand of Cabellenus, which held Alicia¡¯s cheek, slowly descended and brushed against her neck. The tickling sensation made Alicia shudder and clutch her body. As the man¡¯s face grew closer, her mouth dried up. Chapter 12 - It’s No Use Regretting It (2) TL: Kay (kkrivulet) ¡°You¡¯re wearing makeup.¡± ¡°I want to look pretty.¡± ¡°As I said before, you¡¯re a bad liar.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t expect any words from you. There are quite a few other people who will tell me what I want, even if you don¡¯t.¡± ¡°Then what does Your Grace want from me?¡± Instead of answering, Cabellenus stared at Alicia quietly. In the reflection of her ashen grey eyes, he had an indescribably strange expression. ¡°I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re up to.¡± ¡°I have no hidden intentions.¡± ¡°You still sincerely desire nothing but death, and yet you unexpectedly begged me to hug you. It¡¯s obviously suspicious.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s fingers touched Alicia¡¯s head ornament. Alicia instinctively flinched and looked up at him with nervous eyes. ¡®Does he know?¡¯ The weapon was seemingly a perfect ornament on the outside. But the opponent was an armed soldier who had been wandering the battlefield for a long time. She thought he might notice it if he had a lot of experience in this kind of thing. ¡°So what are you up to?¡± ¡°I am¡­.¡± She tried to make an excuse, but she did not know what to say. Alicia blurted out the words feebly. As expected, she was not used to this kind of work. ¡°If you don¡¯t want to answer, you don¡¯t have to.¡± ¡°Are you serious?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Alicia¡¯s eyelashes trembled. Cabellenus¡¯s dull answer was neither consideration nor mercy. He was not worried. No matter what Alicia did, he would be fine. It was no different from a little bug buzzing around. The arrogant ruler who was unaware of defeat had never once thought he would collapse. ¡°I don¡¯t care what your ulterior motive is. There¡¯s only one thing I want to check.¡± Suddenly, the ornament was pulled out of Alicia¡¯s neatly twisted hair, causing her hair to tumble down to her neck. Alicia winced at the strange sensation of flowing hair and swallowed dry saliva when she saw the object in his hand. Cabellenus¡¯s thumb was on the jewel. He knew everything. The moment she realised that fact, the jewel was rotated and what was hidden in it popped out. Alicia stared blankly at the stolen trinket and slowly raised her head. Now that the assassination tool was discovered, all that was left was to wait for the tool¡¯s disposal and her punishment. However, contrary to expectations, Cabellenus silently inserted the blade of the ornament back in. ¡°Why, don¡¯t you ask anything?¡± ¡°I told you, I don¡¯t care what you¡¯re up to.¡° ¡°I tried to kill you.¡° Alicia bit her lips as she stared at the trinket that was held in front of her. ¡°Kill me? You mean me?¡° It would have been better if he had laughed at it. Alicia¡¯s earlobe flushed red with embarrassment at Cabellenus, who inquired calmly with an expressionless face. ¡°If I were to die from these thin, slender arms, I would never have survived.¡± Cabellenus narrowed his eyes. He was sure the woman was eating properly, but she was still too thin. ¡°It¡¯s poisoned. It would have been fatal if the blade had cut you.¡± ¡°The members of the Blanche¡¯s Royal Family grow up eating small amounts of poison from an early age to develop tolerance. Most poisons are meaningless. Especially in my case.¡± Cabellenus raised his head with a sour face. He did not know when it started. A body that had gone beyond its limits had, at some point, surpassed that of ordinary human beings. For a man who survived the countless battles that everyone had foreseen would die, death was only a distant affair. It was not a life that would end with a clumsy assassin who could not even hold a knife properly. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Did you think I¡¯d kill you if you tried to assassinate me?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s voice lowered. There was no way she did not know about the obvious victory or defeat. Nevertheless, it was for a different purpose that she thought of attempting an assassination. Death. Cabellenus, who recalled the word, noticeably furrowed his brows. Even with nothing, this woman knew too well how to stimulate his nerves. ¡°I told you. If you save the royal family of a ruined kingdom, it will cause future troubles.¡± ¡°I told you, too. That¡¯s none of your business.¡± Cabellenus growled in a low voice. He did not like it at all. The woman¡¯s empty eyes, her melancholy expression, her habit of crouching, all of it. Ironically, however, the displeasure stimulated Cabellenus. ¡°Stab me if you want.¡± Cabellenus grabbed Alicia¡¯s hand and made her hold the weapon. Then without hesitation, he took her hand to his chest. ¡°I¡ª¡± ¡°You can¡¯t kill me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Assassination? Don¡¯t make me laugh. You didn¡¯t mean to kill me from the start. You just wanted to kill yourself.¡° Cabellenus¡¯s eyes flashed. If she wanted to die so badly, he could kill her, but he did not. Rather than wanting to kill her, he was nervous. What could he do to make her eyes become alive? What on earth should he say to a woman who wanted to die to make her want to live? Even if he did not try to think about it, it was the only thing that circled in his head and it was driving him crazy. ¡°¡­¡­ Give me a chance.¡± Cabellenus tightened his grip. The skin that had been touching became closer together. Alicia was hot with an unknown fever. The warmth of his hand spread redness over Alicia¡¯s face. The sound of another person¡¯s heart pounding through their skin was strange and caused the inside of her mouth to dry up. ¡°Alicia Neinstein.¡± ¡°¡­¡­yes. Go ahead.¡± His sharp instincts sounded a warning that he should no longer be involved with her. Nevertheless, Cabellenus did not let go of the woman¡¯s hand. He had never once in his life let go of anything he had in his hands. ¡®You can have it if you want, that¡¯s all.¡¯ A haughty smile spread on his face. He was quite pleased with the conclusion he made. ¡°Do you really want me to hug you?¡± The distance neared. Alicia reflexively swallowed dry saliva. Only she was reflected in the eyes of the approaching man. ¡°One more time, I¡¯ll give you a chance. Instead¡ª¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If it¡¯s the same answer again, it¡¯s no use regretting it.¡± His face approached. At such a close distance, she could feel his hot breath hovering over her lips. Chapter 13 Alicia stared straight at Cabellenus, grasping the trinket like a lifeline. Her original plan to spend the night together and assassinate him while he was off guard was out of the question now. It was no longer necessary to be held by Cabellenus. Nevertheless, Alicia had no intentions of rejecting him. Even if she knew she was doing something meaningless, she could not stop it. It was not just Cabellenus who was curious. Alicia, too, was curious about him. A foreign man who did not kill her was peculiar to her. ¡°I won¡¯t regret it.¡± ¡®If you¡¯re going to die anyway, it won¡¯t matter if you just check it and then die.¡® [T/N: In case you¡¯re confused, the above is Alicia¡¯s thoughts.] The moment Alicia raised her trembling voice her lips were swallowed. ¡°Huh.¡± ¡®Eaten.¡® At that moment, why did she think that way? Alicia hurriedly grabbed the man¡¯s hem and clung to him. The sensation of her tender lips being chewed and dug out was overwhelming, but there was no corner to retreat. His hard fingertips digging into her hair did not allow her to run away. Alicia instinctively wrapped her arms around the man¡¯s neck as her mind turned blank, intoxicated by the heat. Her whole body trembled at the eerie sensation sweeping her back. * * * It was dawn when Alicia opened her eyes. Alicia slowly blinked her eyes at the stiff arms squeezing her body. The man sleeping in front of her did not look real. But it was not an illusion. She certainly spent the night with that man. The memories of last night where she was pushed to the limit countless times were so vivid that she could not forget them. ¡®It hurts.¡¯ Alicia tried to get out of the bed quietly, but struggled and soon let out a heavy breath. This kind of pain used to be nothing, but it had been a long time since she had felt pain, so she reflexively frowned. ¡®I¡¯m ridiculous, really.¡¯ After a short sigh, Alicia cautiously slipped away from Cabellenus¡¯s arms. She was stiff as if her whole body was beaten, but it was better than being held by him. The man¡¯s arms, whose body temperature was higher than that of ordinary people, was too big and comfortable. Alicia looked down at Cabellenus with a bemused expression. She had seen his face many times, but it was the first time she could observe him so closely. ¡®Everyone said that the Wolf of Schwarhan was a monster¡­¡­.¡¯ The man reflected in the moonlight was so beautiful that he did not feel real. It was hard to believe that he was the Wolf of Schwarhan, a monster that caused people to tremble just from the name. ¡®Honestly, he¡¯s too pretty for a monster.¡¯ Alicia¡¯s hand carefully reached towards Cabellenus¡¯s face. Of course, she did not have the confidence to touch it, so she kept a distance. Even though she had been in those arms moments ago, she was too ashamed to touch him. ¡°Cabellenus von Schwarhan Blanche.¡± Alicia muttered in a small voice, almost as though she would be blown away by her breath. Originally it was a name that no slaves should call out, but at least once, she wanted to see his face and call it. When she called his name, she wondered what kind of face he would have had. Alicia¡¯s hand that had been tracing over the shape of Cabellenus¡¯s eyes, nose, and lips, from a certain distance, stopped. She thought there would be nothing to regret even if she died, but for some reason, that face seemed to come to mind, causing her to choke up. Alicia bit her lips and tried to swallow a cry that seemed to burst out at any moment. It was strange. Determined to die, Alicia thought she would have no regrets, but for some reason, she kept growing greedy whenever she was with that man. The warmth she missed so much was given by the man who destroyed her country, not anyone else. Alicia covered her face with her hands, unable to overcome her emotions. However, no matter how hard she pressed it with her palms, the tears that burst out continued to flow. ¡®No more. I really can¡¯t. This will only result in futile greed.¡¯ Alicia roughly wiped the tears with her damp palms. At the end of her gaze, there was a memorabilia that she could not use yesterday. Alicia picked up the trinket that fell to the floor with a wince. Now it was clear. That man will not kill her. And, no one will defy him. If she really wanted to end this life, she would have to take her own life. ¡°¡­¡­ I¡¯m sorry.¡± The apology was not directed at anyone. Alicia muttered to herself with wet eyes, twisting the jewel part of the trinket. She then closed her eyes tightly, pointing the tip of the sharp knife to her neck. The knife was poisoned so it would be very easy to die. However, she could not move her hand. She was afraid to die. She could no longer be calm about death. It was not until she was facing the blade that she realised this fact deeply. ¡®Why are you doing this now? What will be different after living like this.¡¯ If she delayed it any longer, she was afraid that everything she had been hiding in her heart would be exposed. Alicia tightly squeezed the hand that was holding the weapon. Even though her whole body was trembling, she moved her hand with the knife. Hwick¡ª! It was then. She fell backwards. Alicia, who was lying on the bed in a daze, slowly closed her eyes and opened them. Cabellenus, who she thought was asleep, was above her. ¡°By any chance, were you really going to die?¡± Alicia suddenly burst out laughing at Cabellenus, who was staring down at her with his teeth clenched. She was happy that she did not die even though she knew it was a contradiction. ¡°You¡¯re laughing?¡± Cabellenus, who misinterpreted Alicia¡¯s laughter, growled in a low voice. He was like a beast revealing his ferocious expression without filtration. But Alicia was not afraid of him at that moment. It was rather sweet. ¡°Don¡¯t get any ideas. You will never die.¡± This man was holding onto her meaningless life. Alicia looked up at Cabellenus with a twisted expression. She did not know whether to smile or cry. Tears, which she thought had stopped, suddenly began to flow again at the thought that she could see that face again. She realised then. She did not really want to die. Chapter 14 ¡°Eat more.¡± At the voice of the indifferent command, Alicia picked up the spoon she had laid down. Alicia thought he was not looking at her, but like a ghost, he had noticed that she was almost done with her meal. ¡°I¡¯m full enough.¡± ¡°You can eat one more bite. Eat.¡± ¡°But ¡­¡­.¡± ¡°The doctor said the amount you eat is too little. You have to increase the amount you eat little by little to gain weight.¡± Cabellenus replied, still not looking at Alicia. Alicia glanced at him and took one bite of the soup. After the suicide commotion, Cabellenus often accompanied Alicia. ¡°I won¡¯t do that again.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°Dying¡­¡­.¡± Alicia stopped talking and lowered her head. The mere mention of death caused Cabellenus to glare at her bitterly, so she did not continue her words anymore. ¡°I saved the life you gave up. So, yes, your life is mine.¡± He never lost what he considered his. Cabellenus¡¯s eyes flashed. He was still angry. ¡°I ¡­¡± How could she relieve his anger? Alicia tapped her lips. Even if she had said she would not die, Cabellenus did not believe her. She was no longer allowed alone in her room anymore, and if she was not with Cabellenus, someone else would always be there to watch her. ¡°Don¡¯t think about anything else. If I see a drop of blood flowing from your body, those you wanted to protect will see blood.¡± His low voice gave her chills. The man¡¯s warning was sincere. He was not a merciful saviour. Alicia silently pushed the remaining soup into her mouth. After eating with him, she no longer knew what food tasted like anymore. No, even from the beginning, it was only Alicia who ate food. Cabellenus prepared a luxurious meal in front of Alicia, but he would often be working while eating a simple sandwich. Alicia bitterly stirred the soup with her spoon. She thought that she would be able to eat a little more if they ate together, but the meal with a man looking at documents in front of her was not very appetising. ¡°The jeweller¡¯s coming today.¡± ¡°But I bought jewellery last time.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t care. Buy more. If you buy more, you¡¯ll have at least one of them that you¡¯ll like.¡± Cabellenus was generous to Alicia. He arranged her clothes and bought jewellery for her every day. ¡°¡­¡­ Neinstein is a poor land.¡± Alicia had no eyes for jewels, but could roughly guess how much they would cost. It was a luxury to spend such a fortune on clothes and jewellery that she would not even wear. ¡°I know. Many people have died of starvation after the series of famine. This war was more loss than gain. It¡¯s a loss just from the money and supplies that we¡¯re bringing in from Schwarhan to rebuild Neinstein.¡± Cabellenus answered calmly and turned a page of the document in his hand. ¡°Then should we not waste it on more jewellery?¡± ¡°Neinstein is poor, not me.¡± Cabellenus firmly cut off Alicia, as if her question was not worth answering. Schwarhan was classified as an imperial territory but wealthier than any country. It could not be compared to Neinstein, which had barely maintained its name on the map. It was ridiculous to be nervous over a few jewels. ¡°Your Grace ¡­¡­.¡± Alicia opened her mouth to speak again but soon shut her mouth tightly. She almost made a mistake. No slave in the world spoke back to their master. ¡°If you have nothing more to say, finish your meal. No matter how much you talk, I don¡¯t intend to make you get up from that place until you finish the soup.¡± ¡°¡­¡­. Okay.¡± Alicia gave up any further defiance and nodded her head meekly. Even if Cabellenus¡¯s attitude towards her was special, she would not be mistaken. Regardless of how it was packaged, the relationship between the two could not be equal, and the ending was predictable. If she wanted to enjoy this peace for a little longer, it would be wise to keep quiet and live up to the line set by Cabellenus. ¡°¡­¡­. As expected, is jewellery not good too?¡± It was not until Alicia¡¯s bowl was completely empty that Cabellenus broke the silence. ¡°Pardon?¡± Alicia frowned slightly, unable to understand the sudden question thrown at her. In the meantime, Cabellenus kept his eyes on the paperwork, so she did not know if she had heard him right. ¡°Jewels, do you hate it?¡± ¡°That¡¯s ¡­¡± ¡°Don¡¯t hesitate, answer me properly.¡± ¡°No, I don¡¯t hate it. But¡­¡± ¡°But?¡± The glistening golden eyes shone over the document. Alicia felt her neck stiffen and swallowed dryly. It was just eye contact, but her mind was a mess. ¡°I just don¡¯t think it suits me¡­¡± ¡°Doesn¡¯t it look good?¡± ¡°Of course the jewels are pretty. But it doesn¡¯t look good on me¡­.¡± To a critical gaze, every sentence said had an insight and was always ambiguous. Alicia closed her eyes tightly, hoping that this ridiculous mealtime would be over soon. However, even with her eyes closed, she could feel his burning gaze on her. She eventually had to open her eyes again. ¡°Is that all?¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°Did you make that face because you thought it didn¡¯t suit you?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s mouth became crooked. He looked very dissatisfied. ¡°Because it¡¯s true.¡± Alicia smiled awkwardly. ¡°You¡¯re still a bad liar.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t like to spin around in circles. Tell me properly, as it is. Just be honest.¡± Cabellenus easily demanded it, but it was not easy for Alicia. In the past, she was ready to die, so she was able to rush forward without hesitation, but not now. Alicia did not want to die anymore. She had no choice but to take care of herself naturally. However, the man who was watching closely did not know how to give up. In the end, it was Alicia who held the white flag. ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t know?¡± ¡°It still doesn¡¯t feel real.¡± Alicia smiled faintly, avoiding Cabellenus¡¯s gaze. Even though a lot had changed, she already knew she was wearing clothes that did not fit her. Alicia knew her position well. The fact that she was a slave did not change even if she ate together, slept together, and received many gifts from him. Everything she enjoyed now was not entirely hers. It was just a bubble that would burst when Cabellenus¡¯s interest cooled down. Chapter 15 ¡°Well, all you want from me is death.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s face was visibly distorted. He stared at Alicia as if he was glaring at her, but eventually brushed his hair up roughly. Everything was perfect, but she was the only one who was not. ¡°¡­¡­ Do you really want nothing from me other than death?¡± The voice that flowed through the tightly clenched teeth showed signs of nervousness. ¡°You don¡¯t have to worry about it. I¡¯m really okay.¡± But what returned was just an answer without any desire. ¡°¡­¡­ I¡¯d rather you be the temptress that everyone¡¯s talking about.¡± Cabellenus muttered powerlessly, leaning on his forehead. If Alicia had really been the wicked woman that people spoke of, he would not have been so nervous. If she was one to abandon her parents and siblings because of the blindness of money and power, he would have been able to hold onto her. But Alicia was not that kind of person. She had nothing, nothing she wanted. ¡®I didn¡¯t spare your life from the start to¡­¡­ No, no.¡¯ The assumption of killing Alicia was no longer possible. Although it was unpleasant that his daily life was a mess, Cabellenus did not regret keeping Alicia alive. Cabellenus looked at the faded grey eyes and laughed in vain. In fact, he already knew. It was not a matter of making clothes to fit Alicia¡¯s body. She always looked stiff and awkward when she was dressed up and adorned with a necklace, earrings, and rings, even if it suited her. Even though it was hers, it did not seem very comfortable. She always looked nervous and anxious, as if she had stolen someone else¡¯s clothes. No matter how little desire one had, if you kept seeing and having good things, you may form a desire, but Alicia was different. She knew how to restrain herself excessively. He did not like that. People who had nothing could leave at any moment. *Knock, knock.* The sudden sound of knocking awakened Cabellenus from his thoughts. He glanced at the door with a slight frown. ¡°May I come inside, My Lord?¡± ¡°Come in.¡± ¡°I brought the list you requested.¡± Gazeff walked straight toward Cabellenus without even looking at Alicia. The sight of the two dining together was familiar to Gazeff. ¡°What happened to the wagon from Schwarhan?¡± ¡°If there are no problems, it should be able to arrive by tomorrow.¡± ¡°Fortunately, it¡¯s not as late as expected.¡± Cabellenus immediately rose from his seat after checking the documents he had received from Gazeff. As he was about to leave, he turned back and looked at Alicia. ¡°What are you doing? Why aren¡¯t you following?¡± Alicia thought she would be able to leave, but that was not the case. She carefully rose from the chair. And, with just three steps¡­ She kept her distance, neither far nor close, and followed Cabellenus. ¡°There are more poor people than I thought. We need to transport the goods one more time, so prepare the wagons as soon as possible and send it back. Of course, don¡¯t forget to check the items and lists in the wagon properly.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll proceed right away.¡± ¡°When distributing the goods, it shouldn¡¯t be given to them for nothing. Whether it¡¯s big or small, they need to pay for it.¡± ¡°Of course.¡± It was not intentional, but as Alicia followed Cabellenus, she naturally ended up listening to the conversation between the two. However, there was no time for Alicia to intervene in the conversation, so in the end, she only looked at the surrounding landscape rather than listen to it. Neinstein¡¯s climate was so warm that flowers bloomed all year round in the courtyard, so it was nice to just take a stroll. ¡°Alicia Neinstein.¡± When Alicia¡¯s steps slowed down as she was lost in the scenery, and the distance between them increased, Cabellenus called out her name. His voice was dull and barely audible, but it was strangely addictive, so she deliberately slowed her steps from time to time. Cabellenus disapproved that Alicia had nothing she wanted, but she just did not need it. Alicia liked to walk along Cabellenus¡¯s steps. For Cabellenus, it was just a time to travel, but for Alicia, it had a different meaning. Because at times like this, she could look at him to her heart¡¯s content and no one would blame her. It was the only good time to admire his broad back, follow his steps, and listen to the names he often called. Of course, the man she was following was unaware of that fact. Chapter 16 ¡°Did you investigate what I asked for?¡± ¡°Yes, I found out as Your Grace ordered.¡± Gazeff handed over the envelope he was holding to Cabellenus. Cabellenus immediately opened the envelope and checked the paper inside. The paper contained information about Neinstein¡¯s youngest princess, Alicia. ¡°There¡¯s less information than I thought.¡± While reading the paper, Cabellenus¡¯s gaze stopped. He did not have to read long. Even considering the short time to investigate, the amount of data was too small. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I tried to gather as much information as possible, but for now, this is the limit.¡± Gazeff hurriedly lowered his head at his lord¡¯s comment. The lack of information found was a disgrace even to Gazeff, who pursued perfection. ¡°I didn¡¯t think the information about her was so confidential.¡± ¡°The other princesses are, but that slave, no¡­¡­ the Neinstein¡¯s youngest princess is a little special.¡± Gazeff looked at Cabellenus with a troubled expression. Slaves were treated like objects, so there was no need to address her properly. However, Alicia was a woman who was publicly considered as his lord¡¯s woman. As long as his lord cared for her, he had to be careful. ¡°What do you mean by special?¡± ¡°The princess is not pure Neinstein, but mixed blood.¡± ¡°That much can be inferred from her appearance alone, right?¡± Cabellenus raised an eyebrow. The Neinstein Kingdom was a closed state. The Neinsteins valued pure blood and persecuted people who looked different from themselves. Alicia, who did not have the appearance of a Neinstein, was bound to look quite disparate. It was not too difficult to notice that she was not a pure-blooded Neinstein. ¡°I didn¡¯t just say that because of it. I told you about the princess¡¯s bloodline because it¡¯s suspicious.¡± ¡°What¡¯s suspicious? Illegitimate children of the royal family is a common problem.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not about the illegitimate child. The princess¡¯s mother is the problem.¡± Gazeff took a quick deep breath and then continued speaking immediately. ¡°She was one of the immigrants that King Neinstein brought from another country when he was young. It was a well-known fact of the youngest princess¡¯s mother. However, when I did an investigation, no one knew anything else about her. There were various stories about women selling their bodies on the street, mercenaries, dancers, and so forth, but it was just a rumour. Besides¡­¡­.¡± Gazeff narrowed his eyes. When Cabellenus ordered him to find out about Alicia, he thought it would be finished quickly. But, no matter how much time passed, the investigation on the princess of the ruined country was progressing slowly. It was not because he could not do his job properly. Even though Alicia was a poorly treated princess, there was little information about her, and in particular, her mother had no information at all. As if someone had erased her existence. ¡°Do you have any stories that will interest me?¡± Cabellenus scratched his chin. ¡°On the day the princess was born, all the people related to her mother were annihilated.¡± ¡°That¡¯s a little interesting. Tell me more. Were they killed?¡± ¡°At first glance, it looked like suicide, but from the situation, it seems to be a murder.¡± Maybe they should have realised something was peculiar from the beginning when they first met as she did not look like a princess. Neinstein¡¯s youngest princess was just as suspicious as her unusual first impression. It was almost like, the more you tried to dig out about her, the more information you could not find. ¡°It¡¯s a murder that looked like suicide. Meaning someone deliberately covered it up.¡± ¡°Yes. That seems highly likely.¡± Gazeff nodded softly. ¡°Was it Queen Neinstein?¡± The crumpled paper fell from Cabellenus¡¯s hand. In the end, there was not much information that was found, and the information that was discovered made him realise that he knew nothing. Rather than learn anything about Alicia, it was more of a record of the atrocities that Queen Neinstein had committed to her. For example, what caused the scar on Alicia¡¯s thigh, why she was fascinated by the word ¡°star palace¡±, roughly those things. Cabellenus had a calm look on his face, but his sharp gaze was burning. If Queen Neinstein had not been on the guillotine, Cabellenus might have torn her today with his bare hands. ¡°I checked separately because the queen was suspicious, but it wasn¡¯t.¡± Gazeff who was conscious of Cabellenus¡¯s mood hastily shook his head and ignored the strange feeling he had. Recently, the lord showed a lot more emotion. But there was no reason to ponder about it. ¡°Then who is the hidden person?¡± ¡°It seems to be King Neinstein.¡± ¡°King Neinstein?¡± Cabellenus tried to recall the face of King Neinstein and eventually gave up. He was not the type to remember people¡¯s faces well. He could only vaguely remember the king¡¯s howl as he pleaded for his life. ¡°I will give you all of my kingdom, my treasures, my daughters¡­¡± ¡°King Neinstein wasn¡¯t from an orthodox royal family, but rather was Daryl¡¯s son-in-law. He married the queen, who was a princess at the time and inherited the throne. So, naturally, he was under the queen¡¯s gaze, and it seemed that he was intimidated by her.¡± ¡°A king who couldn¡¯t even hold his position, how pathetic.¡± Cabellenus clicked his tongue. ¡°Yes, that¡¯s right. But, what¡¯s interesting is that the king¡¯s actions were completely different from one point.¡± ¡°What was different?¡± ¡°Originally, King Neinstein was under the queen¡¯s gaze. So it was natural that both the royal family and the major nobles were on the side of the queen. However, at one point, it became the opposite. The king, not the queen, became the leader of the kingdom.¡± Gazeff held out the Neinstein Dynasty¡¯s historical record that he was holding to show Cabellenus. There was still more research to be done. But some speculation was possible just by connecting the suspicious points. ¡°Is it the same as what I think it is?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s eyes flashed like a beast that had found its prey in the darkness. ¡°Yes. King Neinstein came to power only after the mother of the youngest princess entered the castle.¡± ¡°It¡¯s certainly a shame to pass it as a coincidence.¡± ¡°So I¡¯d like to investigate further.¡± Gazeff handed the book to Cabellenus. ¡°What is this?¡± ¡°This is a history book that describes the history of the Neinstein Dynasty.¡± ¡°Is there an answer here?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s eyes narrowed. ¡°Every time I get any other information about the princess, I¡¯m going to compare it with the history of King Neinstein. Although currently nothing can be made clear due to the lack of information, it can be speculated that Princess Neinstein may be different from what we think.¡± ¡°What do you mean by different?¡± ¡°That, I¡¯ll tell you when everything becomes clear.¡± A slight smile spread across Gazeff¡¯s mouth. Gazeff had thought that the investigation of the princess of the ruined country was just an extension of his work. However, the tight secrets about her were enough to arouse his interest. ¡°So, is there any other information?¡± ¡°¡­¡­Sorry. Apart from what I¡¯ve mentioned so far, I will need to investigate further about the other information.¡± Gazeff lowered his head even more. Even if there was a clue, it was meaningless if they could not reach the truth. He had yet to achieve results. But instead of criticising his subordinates, Cabellenus was temporarily lost in thought. Gazeff was a competent man who had been handpicked, and he had been by Cabellenus¡¯s side for a long time. If he produced unsatisfactory results, it meant that this was indeed quite difficult. Alicia may have had a bigger secret than Cabellenus imagined. ¡°Well, it¡¯s okay. I still have time. Instead, don¡¯t let me down next time.¡± ¡°Yes, of course.¡± ¡°You can spend as much money and time as you require. It doesn¡¯t matter what method you use.¡± ¡®Just bring what I want, that¡¯s all.¡® Cabellenus slowly stroked his chin, with an arrogant expression. From Alicia¡¯s attitude alone, it was possible to infer that she had lived a very rough life. But that was not enough. What he wanted was neither Alicia¡¯s identity, nor what her mother was like. In order to keep Alicia from thinking about other things, it was necessary to know her better. Chapter 17 ¡°You¡¯re here?¡± Alicia, who noticed Cabellenus entering the bedroom, got up in a hurry. As soon as Cabellenus entered the room, he quickly examined her condition with his eyes. Alicia did not say she wanted to die anymore, but he could not help feel bothered. After all, a woman who did not regard anything as her own could leave at any time. ¡°What kind of wound is that?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s gaze turned to Alicia¡¯s fingertips. ¡°Oh, it¡¯s a prick by a thorn¡­¡­.¡± As Alicia spoke, she looked at Cabellenus with a hesitant look. It was because she remembered Cabellenus¡¯s words that he would kill others if she ever shed a drop of blood. ¡°Thorn?¡± ¡°The roses blooming in the garden were beautiful, so I touched them and¡­¡± ¡°If that¡¯s the case, ask a servant.¡± Fortunately, Cabellenus did not seem to remember those words. Alicia approached Cabellenus carefully, sighing in relief. ¡°I¡¯m a slave. I can¡¯t ask a servant.¡± ¡°Where did you hear that?¡± ¡°There are no slaves in the kingdom, so I studied the slaves of the Blanche Empire separately.¡± Alicia smiled lightly. Though weak, her face showed pride. ¡°You¡¯re doing something useless. Who told you that?¡± Cabellenus frowned. ¡°Well, that¡¯s what I found while going through a book¡­¡± Lies. Alicia¡¯s act of drawing out her words caused Cabellenus¡¯s forehead to wrinkle up. It was obvious without asking. There were only a limited number of places where Alicia could get information. While Cabellenus was away, the servants guarding her had informed him. ¡°Tomorrow, we¡¯ll bring in new servants.¡± ¡°Ha, but¡­¡­.¡± ¡®You must have noticed the lie.¡¯ Alicia looked up at Cabellenus with an anxious gaze. She studied in order to not offend Cabellenus, not to get someone else in trouble because of her. ¡°Why? You don¡¯t like it?¡± ¡°Oh, no.¡± Slaves must not disobey their masters. Compliance was the virtue of a slave. Recalling the virtues of a slave she had memorised for days, Alicia bowed her head. ¡°Ha ¡­.¡± Cabellenus sighed, looking at the woman¡¯s round head. A woman who tried to keep her position thoroughly was a good slave. But what Cabellenus wanted was not her as a slave. ¡°I¡¯ll leave the servants be.¡± ¡°Seriously, ah¡­¡­. No, no, I mean, I didn¡¯t mean to argue with you¡­.¡± The more she spoke, the stranger it became. Alicia frowned and eventually lowered her head again. Cabellenus laughed at the sight. ¡°You¡¯re still a clumsy slave.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s okay. I¡¯d rather you be so.¡± There was no need for Alicia to get used to the life of slaves. Cabellenus had no intention of keeping her in slavery. At the moment, it was not long after the war had ended, so it could not be helped, but over time, her status would be restored. ¡°But, if I can¡¯t do this much, I¡¯ll be a nuisance to Your Grace who has done so much for me.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve done a lot for you?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s mouth was stiff. It was hard to tell her honestly that she did not have to live as a slave. In his eyes, Alicia who casually said that despite never happily received anything that she was given, was a disgrace. ¡°Well, you took my revenge for me, and gave me clothes and jewellery¡­¡± ¡°I never took revenge for you. It was just this land that I had to conquer. It was not for you that I killed King Neinstein, it was just for my brother.¡± Even if he succeeded in sitting on the throne, the position of Gerpenus was still unstable. [T/N: Gerpenus is the emperor. We met him in chapter 8.] As a half-blood, Gerpenus was far from a flawless successor the nobles wanted from birth. More strength and achievement was required to solidify his precarious position. For that purpose, Cabellenus was willing to raise his sword. ¡°Even so, I was happy.¡± ¡°Happy?¡± ¡°If Your Grace hadn¡¯t come that day, my fate would have been obvious.¡± Alicia¡¯s smile was so pitiful that Cabellenus lost his words for a moment. ¡°¡­¡­Don¡¯t you resent me?¡± No matter how much Alicia hated it, King Neinstein was her parent. Even if she resented the killer who executed King Neinstein and left his neck outside the castle, Cabellenus had nothing to say. ¡°Not all parents are good parents. That¡¯s all.¡± ¡°My father loved another woman instead of my mother, and he did everything he could do for the son from the woman he loved, even if it was his other son.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°When even such a father died, I burst into tears.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s voice was calm, but as he spoke, he constantly glanced at Alicia¡¯s expression. He knew there was nothing good about revealing his past. But, he wanted to confirm it by doing so. He rather her hold a grudge against him. This way, she would have a touch of emotion with him. ¡°You really don¡¯t blame me?¡± ¡°Yes, I don¡¯t.¡± Contrary to Cabellenus¡¯s wishes, Alicia shook her head weakly. For Alicia, the presence of a father was different from what people commonly thought. She cried when she saw King Neinstein hanging from the castle, but it was not sadness. It was relief that everything was over. ¡°¡­¡­ You¡¯re always the same.¡± How could he break it down? Cabellenus reached out and grabbed Alicia¡¯s cheek. A woman whose face was small enough to fit in one hand posed no threat, but he could not understand why every time he looked at those listless eyes, a shiver would run down his spine. ¡°Does Your Grace see me that way?¡± ¡°Yes. That¡¯s how it looks. You always seem calm.¡± ¡®The only thing that you are always anxious about is yourself.¡¯ [T/N: This is Cabellenus¡¯s thoughts.] Cabellenus tilted his face towards Alicia. It was easy to kiss. Because she was shy, she would not refuse. But because of that, he could not do anything. Cabellenus distorted his face as he noticed the woman in front of him silently close her eyes, waiting for the kiss. He could not figure out why her lips, which he had already kissed countless times, felt so distant. No, maybe it was something he did not want to know. Chapter 18 - Didn’t Notice (2) ¡°What are you doing? Sit down.¡± At Cabellenus¡¯s orders, Alicia hesitated and lingered around the bench. The only place to sit in the straight chair was the seat next to Cabellenus. ¡°Come on.¡± At the urging of Cabellenus, Alicia sat rigidly beside him. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It smells good.¡± In the silence that continued, Alicia barely managed to squeeze out her voice. She did not know what the man wanted to do, but it was strange to sit on a garden bench without doing anything. ¡°Do you really like this?¡± Cabellenus tilted his head at the roses in full bloom. The flowers fluttering and swaying in the wind were obviously splendid and pretty, but not in his eyes. He did not like flowers. No, to be more precise, he hated all weak things. ¡°How about you, Your Grace?¡± ¡°It smells too strong.¡± Alicia shed an awkward laugh at Cabellenus who was frowning. The handsome man looked good wherever he was, but the figure of him sitting on a bench surrounded with flowers was certainly strange. The scent associated with Cabellenus was a cool iron scent, not a rose scent that filled the nose. ¡°Then shall we go somewhere else?¡± Alicia, who had noticed, carefully commented. Opinions were not befitting of slaves, but it was unavoidable. As she watched the increasingly crumpled face of Cabellenus, she was worried that something might happen. ¡°You said you liked it.¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± ¡°Never mind. Just stay.¡± Cabellenus leaned his upper body against the bench with a frown on his face. He knew that he looked absurd right now and that if Gerpenus had seen him now, Gerpenus would have teased him for another 20 years. However, if he did not do this, there was nothing he could do. No matter how valuable it was, he was going to do anything to bring down the unwavering Alicia. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Again, silence hovered between the two. For a long time, Alicia barely took her eyes off Cabellenus as she carefully observed his actions. She did not know what was going on, but the man really seemed to be just sitting there. ¡®What are you thinking?¡¯ Cabellenus, whom Alicia had watched so far, hated wasting time. It was impossible to spend time sitting still on a bench without lifting a single document like now. ¡°Well¡­¡­.¡± Alicia voiced cautiously with a nervous face. She did not mean to ask any questions, but today Cabellenus was strange. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± ¡°By any chance, is something wrong?¡± ¡°No. Nothing like that.¡± ¡°Is that so¡­¡­.¡± Alicia¡¯s shoulders drooped. Although she heard Cabellenus¡¯s answer, it was still not enough to resolve the question. ¡°Don¡¯t you like it?¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°You¡¯ve always been sitting here. I thought you liked it because you were sitting here all the time.¡± ¡®This wasn¡¯t it either.¡¯ Cabellenus looked at Alicia¡¯s drooping shoulders and clicked his tongue shortly. He was starting to feel that it was quite tricky to cater to someone¡¯s preference. ¡°Oh, that¡¯s because this place gets the most sunlight.¡± ¡°Sunlight? What about it?¡± ¡°It¡¯s warm.¡± He glanced at Alicia¡¯s hands that were reaching out towards the sun¡¯s rays. Her hands were quite soft due to the care she received every day, but the scars still remained. ¡°Ah?¡± ¡°On a nice day, it feels good to sit here and enjoy the sunshine. The sun is so warm and cozy that I don¡¯t have to think about anything.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± In the past, the basement where Alicia spent most of her time had no sunlight. In the darkness, the dim candlelight was all she ever had. But even that was not always given. The family, who was stingy with Alicia, said they felt that even one candle that went to her was a waste. So she had to spend her time crouching down on the dampness that weighed down on her body and all curled up on the cold stone floor. Despite these depressing thoughts being an unwanted memory that she was constantly trying to forget, they kept returning to her. ¡°Well, is this a bit weird too?¡± Alicia smiled awkwardly at the intense, stinging gaze. Her life was far from normal in many ways, so her thoughts and actions were bound to be unusual. Even if the difference went against Cabellenus¡¯s wishes, she, herself, would not know if it was wrong. She had to constantly watch his reaction and look back on whether she had made a mistake. ¡°¡­¡­Smile again.¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°Smile like you just did.¡± Cabellenus impatiently urged Alicia. The smile on Alicia¡¯s face was very momentary, but Cabellenus could not forget the moment. ¡°Ah, like this?¡± At the sudden request, Alicia forcibly raised both ends of her mouth. ¡°That wasn¡¯t it.¡± Cabellenus shook his head firmly. The smile just now was not like that. It was more natural, softer. It was like red hair shining like the glow of the setting sun. Cabellenus reached out and grabbed Alicia¡¯s hair. The hair that had been taken care of had become softer than before, but it was unreasonable to compare it to the sunset. ¡°Then, what about this?¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°Oh, it isn¡¯t?¡± She did her best. Alicia¡¯s mouth, which had risen to the fullest, dropped down helplessly. Cabellenus stared at Alicia closely and gave a long sigh. The red hair that he had captured slipped through his fingers. ¡°Don¡¯t look at me.¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t react so anxiously to my words.¡± She had always been rude when she asked him to kill her, but now her eyes would be wide open whenever he said something. Cabellenus pressed his fingers across his crumpled forehead. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯ll try harder.¡± Alicia mumbled. She tried to not get on his bad side, but it was difficult. ¡°Stop saying that.¡± ¡°I was wrong, so it¡¯s natural to apologise for the mistake.¡± ¡°What did you do wrong?¡± ¡°Whatever the case, it¡¯s the slave¡¯s fault to go against the master¡¯s will.¡± ¡°¡­¡­One more time, if you recited those ridiculous slave virtues again, you¡¯ll be punished.¡± Nevertheless, he should dismiss the servant who taught Alicia the slave virtues. Cabellenus grabbed Alicia by the shoulder, cursing the servant who he did not even know the face of. He did not like her weak shoulders that emphasized that she was scared. ¡°Then tell me something else. If you tell me, I¡¯ll do what Your Grace tells me to do.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to do anything. When did I ever ask you for that?¡± ¡°But if I do nothing, it¡¯s worthless.¡± Alicia¡¯s body trembled slightly. At some point, Cabellenus would stop embracing her. He would gradually lose interest in her. Chapter 19 - Stay Where I Can See You (1) She did not want to be thrown away. Alicia looked at Cabellenus with anxious eyes. She promised to live, but it was still too daunting. She could not get a sense of how she could live normally like other people. Even so, her purpose of life was not clear either. The only thing that she eagerly anticipated was the man in front of her. She wanted to stay by his side somehow. ¡°If you had value, I would not have kept you alive.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve never considered your worth before. Just¡­¡­.¡± Cabellenus, unable to speak, buried his face against her shoulder. If he continued to reach out like this, it would eventually reach his grasp, but for some reason, his stomach felt empty. Even if he hugged and touched it, it did not feel like he had anything. ¡°¡­¡­Why are you doing this to me?¡± ¡°It has no meaning. It¡¯s just interesting.¡± Yes, this was a simple interest. It had to be. Thinking this, Cabellenus embraced Alicia in his arms. Even though she was small and skinny, whenever he hugged her, his arms felt full. However, it was only for a moment. He was very satisfied with hugging her, but the moment he held her in his arms and realised that she was not his, everything became futile. As much as there was a sense of fullness, the feeling of emptiness when it disappeared was also great. ¡°¡­¡­Then, what if Your Grace¡¯s interests cool down?¡± Alicia¡¯s voice was dry, but Cabellenus was unaware of it. ¡°I¡¯ll let you go when that time comes.¡± Could this interest really cool down? Even though nothing was certain, Cabellenus responded mechanically. Cabellenus von Schwarhan Blanche Ever since his birth, he had never forgotten the weight of his name. And, nothing could take precedence over the weight of the name. That was how it should be. ¡°¡­¡­If so, can you make one promise?¡± ¡°Promise?¡± ¡°If your interest cools, you¡¯ll be the first to let me know.¡± She wanted to tell him not to throw her away, but she could not. Cabellenus was not a man she could catch just because she wanted to. His gaze was always strong, and he clearly knew what his goal was. There was no way such a man would show sympathy because Alicia was clinging to him. In truth, she was more worried that she would cry over nothing, causing him to despise her and throw her out more quickly. ¡°¡­¡­Do you want to leave me?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t you answer?¡± It was a brief pause, but even that offended the man who stood in front of her. ¡°That¡ª¡± ¡°No. Don¡¯t tell. Don¡¯t do anything.¡± His hold on her arm tightened. Everything was a mess, just like a bunch of tangled thread, but she dared not untie it. It was not supposed to be obvious. As long as it was Cabellenus von Schwarhan Blanche, it would never be. ¡°You can¡¯t go anywhere until my interests cool down, so don¡¯t think about it and stay where I can see you.¡± Of course, he knew that what he said was a contradiction as he was the one unable to let go of the woman in his arms. Cabellenus kept his mouth shut and hugged Alicia more tightly. Chapter 20 - Stay Where I Can See You (2) Alicia stared blankly at the rose stuck in the vase. The rose, trimmed without a thorn, was brought by a servant this morning. After that day, Cabellenus sent Alicia flowers every day. ¡®I really don¡¯t know what he¡¯s thinking.¡¯ Alicia carefully touched the rose with her finger. The morning dew on the rose fell to the floor. Everyone murmured that Cabellenus fell in love with Alicia. Everyone was curious about what kind of tricks she pulled and said that the ferocious man chased anything in a skirt. However, the reality was completely different from the rumours. Cabellenus did not embrace Alicia. After several nights, his interest seemed to have cooled down, and recently he had not even tried to touch her. Even if nothing else changed, it was inevitable to feel nervous. Cabellenus told Alicia he did not value her, but that was a contradiction. Cabellenus valued everything and calculated by weighing it. It was strange that only Alicia was excluded from the rule. ¡°The scent is wonderful. As expected, His Grace loves you a lot.¡± ¡°Is it love?¡± ¡°Otherwise, he wouldn¡¯t have dropped these things off, right?¡± Alicia could not help but wonder what the maid¡¯s intention was when she opened the box and pull out the comb. The comb made of hand-carved ivory was extremely expensive. Even Elena had to pester her father, who deeply loved her, before finally receiving one. [T/N: Elena was the ¡°most beautiful¡± princess of Neinstein mentioned in chapter 4.] Alicia wanted to say that it was a great favour to be gifted with such precious things. ¡®But was it really love?¡¯ Elena had done the same thing to her doll. She was the only princess who had a porcelain doll and brushed the doll¡¯s hair every day. She would be satisfied with decorating the doll with pretty clothes and accessories. Cabellenus¡¯s actions resembled more of Elena¡¯s behaviour rather than love. If he loved her or at least considered her as a woman, he would want to hold her. Especially if the other person was a slave who should not be treated like a normal human being. Consideration to slaves was an irrelevant word. If you wanted to take it, you take it. Otherwise, you can just throw it away. ¡®If it¡¯s like this, it¡¯s better to be hugged.¡¯ It was not that she hated good hospitality. Rather, if she was always being treated excessively, she was worried that she would make a mistake one day and cross the line. Alicia closed her eyes tightly. Above all, Cabellenus would not remain here forever. He was the ruler of Schwarhan. At present, he was only temporarily staying in Neinstein for post-war rehabilitation, but eventually, he had to leave. ¡®As expected, I better get my mind together.¡¯ After Cabellenus left, a new ruler would come, and Alicia would have to live accordingly. It would be difficult to live as a slave if she got accustomed to the ridiculous treatment she was experiencing. She could not let her guard down and had to be prepared to adapt to the coming future. *Knock, knock.* ¡°The seamstress has arrived.¡± The focus returned to Alicia¡¯s eyes, which was bleary until the sound of a knock broke her thoughts. Today was the day the seamstress came. ¡°Time seemed to have passed so quickly. Should I tell them to come in right away?¡± ¡°Yes, please.¡± Alicia nodded softly. Getting fitted for clothes once a week had become like an annual event. Cabellenus did not allow Alicia to wear the same clothes more than once. ¡°Again, it¡¯s a new seamstress.¡± The maid whispered in a voice small enough to be heard only by Alicia. Alicia laughed awkwardly. It was not a day or two that the seamstress changed. After Cabellenus seized power, Neinstein began to return to Blanche. Tired of King Neinstein¡¯s tyranny, the people regarded Cabellenus as a hero and began to imitate him. Instead of Neinstein¡¯s original design which focused on bringing out the original style of the material, they wanted to wear Blanche¡¯s clothes. However, Blanche¡¯s clothes, which required a wider variety of ornaments and fabrics, and a lot of sewing, required considerable skill. Hence several seamstresses were forced to work on a single piece of clothing. Many seamstresses were required to keep up with Cabellenus¡¯s demands. ¡°Hello, Princess. It¡¯s an honour to meet you.¡± ¡°There¡¯s no need to be so polite. I¡¯m not a princess.¡± Alicia shook her head firmly. Since Neinstein was destroyed, Alicia could no longer be called a princess. The maid called Alicia a ¡®lady¡¯ because she knew that. ¡°Then how should I call the princess?¡± ¡°I think, ¡®lady¡¯ is sufficient.¡± Although Alicia knew that the title was undeserving for a slave, there was no other expression available. ¡°Yes, I see. Lady. Then, can I measure your body shape first?¡± The seamstress approached with a smile. It was cumbersome to be measured every time a fitting was required, but it was necessary. Her body shape frequently changed as she was gradually gaining more weight from the increased meals. ¡°Should I stand up?¡± ¡°Yes. If you hold your arm up, my assistant will measure you.¡± At the gesture of the seamstress, the assistant standing behind her moved. Without much thought, Alicia raised her arm and gave her back to the seamstress¡¯s assistant. She could not help but feel that whenever she was fitted for clothes, it was very cumbersome. ¡°Why¡¯s there still no progress?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alicia¡¯s body stiffened at the familiar voice behind her. ¡°Don¡¯t move. And don¡¯t be nervous and send the maid out quietly.¡± The voice was low and she felt something sharp through the fabric. It was a blade. When she realised that, she got goosebumps all over her body. ¡°¡­¡­Kerry, I¡¯m sorry, but can you bring me some water?¡± Alicia asked without turning her head toward the maid. ¡°Water?¡± ¡°I¡¯m thirsty. Please do me a favour.¡± ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll get it right away.¡± The maid, who knew nothing, nodded without a second thought and stepped outside. The man had commanded that Alicia should never be left alone. But there was already a seamstress and her assistants in the room. It would not matter if she was away for a while. The maid was eager to win Alicia¡¯s favour. ¡°Finally, I can speak comfortably.¡± Alicia could hear a snicker behind her, but she still had a blade on her back so she could not turn around. She clenched her teeth and stared at the seamstress. Seeing that the seamstress was not surprised, she realised that they were in the same league with Velita. ¡°What are you doing?¡± ¡°That¡¯s what I want to ask you. Why is that demon still alive?¡± Velita voice deepened as if she was laughing. ¡°You already know that I was going to try to assassinate him.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you mean that you didn¡¯t intend to kill him from the beginning?¡± The tip of the dagger pressed harder into her waist. Alicia swallowed her dry saliva. ¡°I can¡¯t do that when my mother¡¯s in your hands.¡± ¡°Lies.¡± ¡°The same is true for you who lied.¡± ¡°What are you talking about?¡± ¡°That necklace. It wasn¡¯t made from my mother¡¯s blood, was it?¡± At that time, she was caught off guard and could not think properly. However, after taking the time to think about it, the answer was obvious. Her mother was not alive. ¡°That¡¯s not true.¡± Velita pretended to be calm, but her voice showed unease. ¡°My mother died before my eyes. She¡¯ll never come back alive.¡± Alicia¡¯s voice trembled. It was impossible to forget the way her mother had prayed anxiously while covered in blood. It was a mother who dragged her tattered body like a rag and cried like a beast but desperately prayed for the life of her daughter. ¡°She¡¯s alive. She¡¯s special, so how can she be killed so easily?¡± ¡°Because I¡¯m here.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°My mother¡¯s strength was lost when I was born.¡± Would it have been okay if she had not been born? If it had, she would still have power and would not have died that way. Alicia clenched her teeth to hold back her tears that wanted to burst out. ¡°You always throw it away when it becomes worthless. That why my mother, too, left me that way.¡± ¡°¡­¡­You, from the start, didn¡¯t plan to kill him.¡± Velita¡¯s voice rang low. ¡°Give up the assassination. That person¨C¡± ¡°Person? Are you kidding me? He killed your parents! It¡¯s not a person. It¡¯s just a monster! It¡¯s a demon!¡± Velita shouted in anger. ¡°Parents? Who are my parents? For me, my parent is the only mother who gave birth to me. Both King Neinstein and the queen are the same to me.¡± ¡°No matter how low blood is mixed together, how can you say that¨C¡± ¡°You are wrong!¡± *Ji-iiiik¡ª* Alicia turned roughly, tearing the clothes that were caught on the blade. The flesh exposed was scratched, but it did not hurt at all. That was not what really hurt. ¡°You filthy mongrel¨C!¡± ¡°Shut up. If you say that to me one more time, I¡¯ll rip your mouth off.¡± Without hesitation, Alicia grabbed the dagger held by Velita and threw it to the floor. Blood dripped from the cut hand, but it did not matter. Neither the wounds on the waist nor the wounds on the hand hurt. ¡°No way, your strength¡­¡­.¡± Velita stepped back hurriedly. Her pale face was stained with fear. ¡°Is that important now?¡± Alicia laughed emptily. The power has been lost long before. If she had the power from the beginning, she would not have let her mother die like that. ¡°I don¡¯t understand. How, after regaining that power, you didn¡¯t do anything until Neinstein became like this? A princess like you, could¡¯ve killed that demon, right?¡± ¡°Why should I?¡± ¡°Why? No reason¡¯s needed. You¡¯re the princess of Neinstein.¡± When necessary, they made her a princess, and when her value fell, she became a filthy mongrel. Alicia distorted her face. Those eyes that looked at her so naturally with expectation disgusted her. Chapter 21 - I Want To Live (1) TL: Kay (kkrivulet) ¡°If you don¡¯t want to be torn to death, get out of here right now.¡± If Alicia had known this would happen, she would have killed all of them when she had the power in the past. But after that day, the power disappeared, and she became a slender woman with no strength. She had no power left to kill anyone. For now, she could only try to protect herself by pretending to be strong. She was like a cat that had inflated its body size. [T/N: When threatened, a cat arches its back and puffs up its tail to become twice its normal size to try to scare off its opponent.] ¡°I don¡¯t understand. Why, of all things, were you given that kind of power? Power should be given to someone who can use it properly¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Is it worth your life to talk about it in front of me without running away?¡± Alicia showed off to Velita as she picked up the dagger that had fallen. The wound was pressed against her tightly held hand, and blood continued to drip, but Alicia continued to struggle and endure the pain. No one came into the room, even though she had deliberately made a fuss. Velita¡¯s influence seemed to have reached more of the royal palace than she thought. ¡®Can I run away?¡¯ Although retired, Velita was once a knight, and there were two more people in the room beside her. As long as they were blocking the exit, the chances of escaping were low. She could only wait and hope the maid returned quickly. Everything would be over if Velita noticed that she actually had no power. ¡°Think again, Princess. You are Neinstein¡¯s only bloodline¨C¡± ¡°Stop the obvious lies. I¡¯m not the only one who¡¯s alive.¡± ¡°What are you talking about?¡± ¡°I hate to admit it, but my mother isn¡¯t the only one.¡± But did they really all die? ¡°The dirty Neintein¡¯s royal blood is running through my body. In other words, if any one of them is still alive, you can make as many necklaces as you want.¡± There was a higher probability that someone of the royal family was alive rather than her mother. The imperial forces, including Cabellenus, did not know the faces of the royal family. ¡°Don¡¯t be ridiculous. If the others survived, why would I look for you?¡± ¡°We¡¯ll see if it¡¯s nonsense. So who survived? Perto? Christa? Or¡­¡­ Elena?¡± The moment she spat out the last name, Velita¡¯s eyes shook briefly. Alicia did not miss the moment. ¡°As expected, Elena is alive.¡± ¡°What are you talking about? Princess Elena is¨C¡± ¡°Elena¡¯s maid was her cousin. And, the two looked very much alike. At first glance, anyone would be mistaken.¡± Elena was the most beautiful of her siblings and was also quick-witted. She would have devised a way to get out of the situation in a short amount of time. ¡°Stop the weird delusions. Princess Elena is already dead.¡± ¡°If she¡¯s dead, why did you try to kill me?¡± ¡°I just meant to fulfil my duty as a Neinstein.¡± ¡°No, that¡¯s no excuse. You, alone, couldn¡¯t have brought people together.¡± No matter how close Velita was to the queen, she lacked the justification to confront Cabellenus. A clearer justification was required to unite the rebels. For example, a member of royalty from a fallen kingdom. Alicia was the only Neinstein royalty currently known. There was no other person as suitable as her to put up a cause. Nevertheless, despite the danger, Velita had tried to assassinate Alicia. Then the answer was obvious. It meant that, even if it was not Alicia, there was another person who could be the moral support of the rebels. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter whether you admit it or not. I don¡¯t care about Elena¡¯s life or death.¡± Alicia still remembered her half-sister, who looked at her like she was less than a beast. But that did not mean she had any intentions of forcing Elena out and killing her, who had barely survived. The situation was finally becoming stable. If the rebels were revealed in the midst of this, there would only be another bloodbath. Neinstein had already shed enough blood. There was no need to bleed any more. ¡°Instead, just tell her these words. The days when everything was at your disposal are over. Don¡¯t think about it and live quietly. Be thankful to me for saving your life.¡± ¡°Thank you? You¡¯re really brazen. Do you know why Princess Elena became this way? It¡¯s all because of you.¡± ¡°Why is that because of me?¡± ¡°Because you didn¡¯t protect her.¡± Alicia sighed deeply at Velita, who repeated what she said like a parrot. ¡°I have no obligation to protect her.¡± ¡°Why not? Considering what you¡¯ve been enjoying, it¡¯s a natural obligation.¡± ¡°You¡¯re the delusional one. You¡¯re drunk on the glory of the past that never existed, like a foal running wild while chasing its tail.¡± ¡°Watch your words. If you keep saying such mean words with your mouth, you¡¯ll end up just like her.¡± Velita approached Alicia with a full smile on her face. Alicia¡¯s eyes trembled slightly. ¡°¡­¡­what?¡± ¡°I still remember her. When I remember the way she begged for forgiveness like a dog, I keep laughing, and I feel better.¡± ¡°You¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Oh, don¡¯t you like this joke? If not, you must be ashamed to remember that time. At that time, not only the woman but the princess did that too. I guess you¡¯re really mother and daughter, on all fours, haa¨C¡± Velita, who was biting her lips cheekily, stopped talking and gave a long sigh. She roughly swept her hair. Her expression was so cold. It looked nothing like before. ¡°The princess¡¯s strength hasn¡¯t returned.¡± ¡°What are you saying all of a sudden?¡± Alicia asked with a fierce gaze in her eyes. It was difficult. She expected that she wouldn¡¯t have much time, but it was quicker than she thought. Chapter 22 - I Want To Live (2) TL: Kay (kkrivulet) ¡°I¡¯ve been deliberately scratching the princess¡¯s nerves, but you haven¡¯t attacked me.¡± [T/N: To ¡®get/scratch on someone¡¯s nerve¡¯ means to try to aggravate and annoy someone.] If the strength had really returned, Alicia would definitely have not left her alone. As if she had predicted victory, the corner of Velita¡¯s lips curled up. Alicia clutched the dagger. ¡°You¡¯ve been fooling me around, mongrel princess?¡± ¡°If you want to die, I¡¯ll kill you right away.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t be pretentious. You¡¯re like a herbivore that¡¯s about to be eaten. I¡¯m not afraid of your threats.¡± Velita curled her lips and moved closer and closer towards Alicia. Alicia nervously bit her lips. She wanted to pretend to be calm, but the cold sweat on her back was chilling. ¡°It would have been nice if you had found the strength, but it¡¯s really a pity that you didn¡¯t.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to make a big fuss either, but unfortunately, you know too much. If you ever tell the devil about the royalty, it¡¯ll bring trouble.¡± ¡°Are you going to kill me?¡± ¡°It¡¯s a pity to kill a Neinstein royalty with my own hands, but what can I do? It¡¯s because you¡¯re foolish. I have no choice but to deal with it so that not anyone can become a royal.¡± ¡°Are you confident you can handle the aftermath of my death?¡± As a slave, she was the property of Cabellenus. Touching her would be considered a challenge to Cabellenus. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I¡¯ll take care of the princess¡¯s body well. I¡¯ll bury you with the maid who left earlier so that you won¡¯t feel lonely.¡± Of course, the devil might think that the princess ran away without knowing that she was dead. Velita took the extra dagger out from her chest without hesitation. Alicia, clenching her teeth, turned away from Velita and ran towards the door. However, the defiance did not last very long. *Thud!* Not long after running away, her body tilted forward with a dull sound. As she fell, her body hit the floor with throbbing dull pain, but there was no sign of pain. Velita¡¯s hand, which was pressing Alica¡¯s neck from behind, tightened around her throat. ¡°It¡¯s a wonder that you don¡¯t even groan at this moment. As I always thought, the princess is very strong. Well, I mean, you did accuse His Majesty and saved your own life from the hands of that demon, right?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Veilta¡¯s eyes were filled with madness. The opportunity she had been looking forward to had arrived, so she was unable to stifle the smile that continued to grow. When Veilta found out that Alicia had accused the king and had taken over the seat of Grand Duke Schwarhan¡¯s woman, her blood boiled. The moment she heard that Alicia was enjoying things that were beyond her means, her anger grew on the subject of the sinner who failed to protect Neinstein. Veilta felt like she was going crazy. But he did not kill her. Veilta thought that Alica¡¯s strength had returned and thought it would be helpful since Alicia was closest to Cabellenus. [T/N: She¡¯s saying that she thought Alicia¡¯s strength would help in the mission of assassinating Cabellenus.] That¡¯s why she was able to endure it again. But it was her misjudgment. Alicia, who held Elena¡¯s life and shook it and did not help regain their strength, did not know of gratitude. It was not the lineage of a noble Neinstein but the blood of a filthy barbarian. There was no reason to keep her alive anymore. ¡°They say that the devil is crazy about the princess, but after this, I¡¯m suddenly curious about his reaction. If the princess disappears, will he get angry? Or, will he be all right?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Honestly, I hope he suffers. But that¡¯s a vain hope. No matter how well you dress, the princess is just a dirty mongrel, aren¡¯t you? You¡¯re unattractive and shabby, but that¡¯s a vain topic.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s just entertainment. It¡¯s easy to be attracted to unique things. Just like your case.¡± Velita¡¯s fingers relaxed and grabbed a handful of Alicia¡¯s hair. If at least this hair was blond, it would have not been so annoying. Apart from Neinstein¡¯s noble bloodline in her, her red hair and grey eyes all resembled that woman. That woman had caused her master, who was the most noble and beautiful, to fall into hell. Velita still could not forget the queen who cried as she saw her husband holding that woman. ¡°The princess is still lucky. You can meet death with my own hands, not the hands of a dirty imperial.¡± [T/N: Velitia is referring to Cabellenus as the ¡®dirty imperial¡¯.] Velita whispered tenderly and strengthened her hand that held Alicia¡¯s neck. When she thought of the queen, she wanted to let Alicia taste more pain before death, but she did not have much time. It was time to get rid of this ill-fated relationship. ¡°Goodbye, mongrel princess.¡± Velita¡¯s sword turned upward without hesitation. She wasn¡¯t able to finish off that woman with her own hands. But the fact that she could now finish off the daughter instead made her excited. It was then. *Bang.* The door, which had been firmly closed, flew open. A cold wind then blew through the open door. The smell flowing through the wind was fiercely fishy. ¡°You¡¯re in trouble, in many ways.¡± A low voice rang in the room. Alicia raised her head, but her view was hazy due to the lack of air. She could not see the face properly, but she recognised it at a glance. A man with such eyes was never common. ¡°W-why are you here¡­¡­.¡± Velita stuttered. She had checked all of Cabellenus¡¯s schedule, and yet he broke in. It was wrong for him to be here now. ¡®No, what¡¯s wrong?¡¯ A smile spread around Velita¡¯s mouth. The devil that she wanted to kill so badly had appeared before her. It was a little different from the plan, but there was nothing unfortunate about it. Velita rose from her seat, slamming Alicia down roughly. No, it was more accurate to say she tried to get up. *Thud.* Velita¡¯s body failed to stand up and rolled across the floor. At some point, Cabellenus had a sword in his hand. For him, the sword was the easiest way to solve a problem. ¡°It¡¯s a shame that you lost the chance to die.¡± An unwavering straight gaze pierced Alicia. On the surface, the man appeared to be composed. However, his eyes which could be seen from under his long eyelashes were not much different from those of a sharp beast. He was angry. Realising that fact, Alicia looked up at him blankly. It was strange. It was definitely okay until now, but when she saw the man¡¯s face, her whole body was throbbing. The pain she had forgotten was unbearable, so tears shed without her knowledge. ¡°It¡¯s useless to cry. No matter what, I¡¯ll never let you die.¡± Cabellenus, who approached Alicia, naturally hugged her. He did not even seem to care if the blood ruined his clothes. That fact irritated Alicia. She had promised herself not to be greedy, but she couldn¡¯t. ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯m not disappointed.¡± Her body, which suddenly lost all the tension, did not listen to her properly. Nevertheless, Alicia reached out a trembling hand and hung it around Cabellenus¡¯s neck. ¡°Don¡¯t move. It¡¯s not good if the wound breaks after moving for no reason.¡± ¡°¡­¡­I don¡¯t want to die.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I want to live. Really, I don¡¯t want to die.¡± Even though Alicia was aware that Cabellenus was struggling to respond, she pretended not to know. Instead, she kept muttering it over and over again as she buried her face into the nape of Cabellenus¡¯s neck. T/N: Omg she finally says it!! Surely, Cabel will believe it this time. Chapter 23 - I Will Marry You (1) TL: Kay (kkrivulet) ¡°The wound is not as deep as I thought. Although it may leave some scars, it will not disrupt her life.¡± ¡°But why isn¡¯t she waking up?¡± ¡°She must still be in shock due to what happened to her.¡± ¡°Is that all?¡± The beast-like eyes made the doctor¡¯s spine shudder even though they were only looking at them. The doctor stammered with a white-stained face. ¡°She¡¯ll wake up sooner or later. If you¡¯re very anxious, I can stay overnight¨C¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay, just leave.¡± ¡°Ah, yes! Alright.¡± At Cabellenus¡¯s gesture, the doctor hastily grabbed the medical bag and went outside. Cabellenus¡¯s notoriety was famous. The doctor didn¡¯t want to get caught up in any of his anger by staying longer than necessary. ¡°Huu¡­¡­.¡± Cabellenus sighed briefly, touching his forehead. The woman always bothered him, but the appearance of her lying down with a bloodless face was even more so. Besides¡­¡­. ¡®I want to live.¡¯ Even as she was showing her condition to the doctor, Alicia did not let go of her arm holding Cabellenus. Even when she lost consciousness, she desperately kept their hands interlocked. Cabellenus¡¯s gaze reached Alicia¡¯s hand, which was wrapped in a bandage. It was a familiar sight to see wounds, so he did not feel much emotion. But for some reason, when he looked at Alicia, he kept getting angry. ¡®I should have saved it.¡¯ It was not just an accident to break into the depths of the palace. There was a high probability that there was a force moving intentionally. Rather than killing the intruders right away, it was more efficient to catch them alive and make them confess. But he never thought of it. When he smelled the faint scent of blood from the overly tranquil corridor, he could not think of anything. Cabellenus cautiously reached out his hand towards Alicia. Keeping a slight distance, he gently stroked her forehead, nose, lips, and chin. It was as if he was slowly drawing. Just like she did before. Cabellenus¡¯s mouth trembled. Suddenly, the first night he had spent with Alicia came to mind. At dawn, Cabellenus had woken up to the movement of the woman. The body, which was sensitive to the prolonged war, easily responded to small sounds and weak movements. Still, Cabellenus pretended to sleep. The gaze that peeked at him, the poor hand gestures, and¡­¡­. ¡°Cabellenus von Schvarhan Blanche.¡± ¡­¡­. The voice calling him was quite pleasant. Gulp. Cabellenus swallowed. It was only once. However, he clearly remembered the moment when his name appeared on the woman¡¯s lips. At that time, the woman¡¯s voice seemed to fade away anytime soon, but it was good to hear. He could not wait till she called him one more time. ¡°¡­¡­Do you know that?¡± There was no answer. Nevertheless, Cabellenus did not stop moving his lips. ¡°I hate shabby things. Weakness is even worse, and I think it¡¯s really foolish to be overwhelmed with emotion and be unable to make a proper judgement. Really, you seem to make up a bunch of things I hate.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°But, funny enough, I don¡¯t hate your existence.¡± A woman would be a stain on him. Knowing it instinctively, Cabellenus did not want to clarify his feelings for Alicia. But he was no longer confident of that. Cabellenus reached out and wrapped his fingers around Alicia¡¯s face. He realised the moment he saw the grey eyes looking at him even in the midst of blood. It was too late to stop now. No, maybe he didn¡¯t intend to stop from the beginning. ¡°Don¡¯t forget. You started it. You said you wanted to live with your own mouth.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s fingertips touched Alicia¡¯s lips. The woman¡¯s breath on his skin that was so weak, like it was going to stop anytime soon, made him anxious. She was too weak. As soon as he realised that fact again, his worries disappeared like snow melting away. The way to solve the problem was really simple. Throw it away or own it completely. But throwing away was already impossible. There was only one way left. ¡°I swear. As of today, I will make sure that no one can lift a hand against you, and that even death will not dare seek you. Instead, you¡¯ll have to pay a high price for it.¡± He did not know what to fill the empty woman with, so he gave her things, but he realised that the more he did that, the more meaningless it became. Flowers wither too quickly, and jewels break easily. In order to fully possess a woman who was in danger of disappearing at any moment, a more certain method was required. ¡°Get a good rest now.¡± ¡®When you wake up, a lot of things will be different.¡¯ Cabellenus slowly closed and then opened his eyes. The clear gold eyes that did not lose its light even in the dark was shining brighter than ever. * * * ¡¸It must be a big deal if you¡¯re contacting me first.¡¹ ¡°I¡¯m calling you to tell you something.¡± ¡¸If that¡¯s the case, so am I. I¡¯m not sleeping well lately because of the news that my lovely brother is having fun with Princess Neinstein.¡¹ Gerpenus smirked and leaned further towards the mirror. Cabellenus stared at his half brother without changing a single expression. ¡°I¡¯m getting married.¡± ¡¸Marriage?¡¹ ¡°Yes.¡± Gerpenus¡¯s eyes slowly examined Cabellenus¡¯s expression. Other people would have thought it was a joke, but the opponent was a serious younger brother who did not know anything about fun. His straight eyes, which did not shake, were sincere. ¡¸The sudden remark is surprising, but I don¡¯t think that¡¯s a bad idea either. I hope you also stop wandering and settle down. However, it takes quite a while to find a woman who fits the ruler of Schwarhan¨C¡¹ ¡°You don¡¯t have to find another woman.¡± Cabellenus replied with an expressionless face. It was obvious how Gerpenus would react to his words afterwards, but it did not matter. Cabellenus never reversed his decisions. ¡¸Does that mean you have a suitable person assigned for the position already?¡¹ Gerpenus frowned. The emperor quickly noticed the situation but pretended not to know. Understanding it with his head and accepting it was a completely different matter. ¡°I¡¯m going to marry Princess Neinstein.¡± Chapter 24 - I Will Marry You (2) TL: Kay (kkrivulet) Of course, the indifferent younger brother, who was inconsiderate of others, just casually ignored Gerpenus¡¯s expression. Gerpenus frowned openly and tilted his head. ¡¸¡­¡­ What did my lovely brother just say to me?¡¹ ¡°I said I would marry Princess Neinstein.¡± ¡¸Princess Neinstein? You¡¯re going to marry that slave woman?¡¹ Gerpenus gave a hollow laugh. It was not a bad thing that his serious younger brother became interested in women. Even though he was a voracious brother, he needed to learn how to have fun. But that was it. He turned a blind eye to Princess Neinstein as he took it as an opportunity for his younger brother to enjoy a little bit of entertainment while facing a woman, not to say that. ¡°It¡¯s a problem that needs to be solved someday anyway.¡± ¡¸You¡¯re the only one in the world who describes marriage as a problem.¡¹ ¡°I don¡¯t care.¡± ¡¸Of course, you don¡¯t. But not me, brother.¡¹ Gerpenus put down the teacup he was drinking. He was no longer smiling. ¡°I¡¯ve fought for Your Majesty all my life. I think I can ask for this.¡± ¡¸Of course, considering what you have done, it is not a waste to make any wishes. But there are always exceptions to anything.¡¹ ¡°This can be an exception.¡± ¡¸No. No. It¡¯s crazy for an imperial member to marry a mere slave.¡¹ Even if the Neinstein Kingdom survived, it was not a worthy match. Moreover, a woman who had lost everything, and became a slave, could not be accepted as the wife of the imperial family. Especially if it was Cabellenus. For Gerpenus, Cabellenus was more special than anyone else. He could not afford to see his younger brother voluntarily enter the mud pit. [T/N: Gerpenus did not want to see Cabellenus ¡®dirty/taint¡¯ himself, this is why the author likens it to ¡®enter(ing) the mud pit¡¯] ¡°The slave status is only temporary.¡± ¡¸You must know better than anyone else that it¡¯s not that kind of problem.¡¹ ¡°I don¡¯t care.¡± ¡¸Are you serious?¡¹ Gerpenus, who was staring at Cabellenus, groaned and touched his forehead. He could not help notice his brother¡¯s stubbornness, which he had seen since the moment he was born. When Cabellenus had such a gaze, it meant that he would never yield. If he was going to be like this, he should have told Cabellenus to kill Princess Neinstein instead of making such a bet. Now, even if he regretted it now, it was already too late. Gerpenus gave a long sigh as he pressed hard on his throbbing temples. ¡°This is the conclusion I came to after much consideration. If I had intended to reverse it, I wouldn¡¯t have told you from the beginning.¡± ¡¸Yes, you were such a kid. But no matter how much I think about it, this is not it. A lot of things will get tangled up, and you¡¯ll get caught up in matters you didn¡¯t need to go through.¡¹ ¡°I¡¯ve already made up my mind.¡± Gold and green. The eyes of the two men, which differed in colour yet appeared strangely similar, collided in the air. Cabellenus had already made up his mind, and Gerpenus had no intention of reversing his opposition. ¡¸Woo¡­¡­. Brother, you seem to be mistaken as this is the first time you¡¯ve ever got involved with a woman.¡¹ In the tense war of nerves, it was Gerpenus who opened his mouth first. He tried to regain his composure by sipping the remaining tea. ¡°It¡¯s not an illusion.¡± ¡¸No. That is an illusion. Even if it¡¯s not, it has to be.¡¹ ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡¸You¡¯re not a child. You¡¯re a grown adult. So no matter what kind of woman you have fun with, I don¡¯t think it¡¯s my part to interfere. But marriage is different. Because marriage is also about successors.¡¹ ¡°You will see a successor from her.¡± Cabellenus answered pragmatically. He did not intend to embrace any women apart from Alicia anyway. Cabellenus was originally not interested in women at all. But after holding Alicia, he became more interested. ¡¸That¡¯s exactly the problem.¡¹ Gerpenus eventually failed to finish his tea and placed the cup down. It was impossible to stay calm. For the young emperor, imagining his younger brother standing at the wedding hall with the unfamiliar Princess Neinstein in his arms was far more terrifying than dealing with documents piled up like a mountain or the ministers who did not know the language. ¡¸According to the imperial custom, there is only one woman that a man can marry. If you have her as your wife, you will not be able to have a flawless successor no matter how hard you try. You¡¯ll only get a poor successor born from a slave mother or an illegitimate successor born from a woman who isn¡¯t your wife.¡¹ ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter. I don¡¯t consider it a flaw.¡± ¡¸Yes, of course, you don¡¯t.¡¹ Gerpenus¡¯s eyes distorted. He wanted to say it was just blood, but he knew better than anyone that he couldn¡¯t. ¡°Your Majesty.¡± ¡¸It is true that poor bloodline is a flaw. For nobles, bloodline is a good indication of the symbol of power passed down from generation to generation. Bloodline is something that impossible to fix despite any effort.¡¹ ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡¸I think you would know what I mean since you have watched me closer than anyone else.¡¹ Even after a long time had passed since Gerpenus became the emperor, people still wanted Cabellenus to sit on the throne. It did not matter if Cabellenus rejected the emperor¡¯s seat, became the master of Schwarhan, or took all kinds of notorieties. He was the son of a dancer who was offered as a tribute to the previous emperor. The stigma had plagued Gerpenus all his life from the moment he was born. ¡¸I wouldn¡¯t blame you if you liked her and left her next to you. But, nothing more than that.¡¹ Gerpenus said firmly. ¡°I didn¡¯t ask Your Majesty for your opinion.¡± ¡¸Even if you didn¡¯t ask for my opinion, you¡¯ll need my consent. Because all the nobles of the Empire can never marry without my approval. That¡¯s why you called me.¡¹ ¡°Well, I have to talk about it at least once in order to get approval.¡± ¡¸Do you think I¡¯ll approve it?¡¹ Gerpenus groaned sarcastically and shook his head. ¡°I¡¯ve never failed to achieve my goals.¡± Cabellenus smiled arrogantly. ¡¸Good for you. I hope you take this opportunity to learn from failure.¡¹ ¡°You¡¯re saying something that doesn¡¯t suit Blanche.¡± Once again, the eyes of the two men clashed fiercely. ¡¸¡­¡­.¡¹ ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡¸¡­¡­ Who do you resemble to be so stubborn?¡¹ ¡°That¡¯s what I want to say.¡± ¡¸Ha¡­¡­.¡¹ Gerpenus frowned and looked at Cabellenus with narrowed eyes. He had no intention of allowing the marriage to a slave, but it was difficult to provoke Cabellenus this way. It was the nature of men that if they were instructed not to do something, they would become fiercer. A softer solution was required. ¡¸Alright. Then you should get married. You should do it if that¡¯s what you want.¡¹ ¡°What are you up to?¡± There was a hint of doubt on Cabellenus¡¯s face. Like Gerpenus, Cabellenus knew his brother well. Gerpenus was not a man who retreated easily. ¡¸It¡¯s a shame you think I¡¯m up to something.¡¹ ¡°Whenever Your Majesty makes that face, it always means you¡¯re planning something.¡± ¡¸But what can I do? If there is anything you want, even if it¡¯s the dragon¡¯s lair, I¡¯ll have to enter. ¡¹ ¡°Stop beating around the bush and tell me right away.¡± ¡°Remember the bet we made back then? The bet of whether you would fall for Princess Neinstein or not. Let¡¯s make one more bet as an extension to that.¡¹ Gerpenus smiled slyly. After all, Cabellenus only had a mere interest in Princess Neinstein. Once the fleeting interest disappeared, the mere mention of marrying a slave would never come out of his mouth again. Chapter 25 TL: Kay (kkrivulet) ¡°You¡¯re finally up.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± As soon as she opened her eyes, Alicia swallowed her dry saliva. Perhaps she was still asleep, or her mind was confused as she noticed clear golden eyes staring back at her. ¡°Why aren¡¯t you saying anything? Does it hurt a lot?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alicia stared blankly at Cabellenus like a possessed person and recalled what had happened to her. She was sure that Velita attacked her, confirmed that Elena was not dead, and in the end, that man¡­¡­.. As she reached that thought, Alicia¡¯s eyes hurriedly looked around. The familiar bedroom was calm as if nothing had happened. Only then did a sense of relief rush in, and her whole body relaxed. ¡°I¡¯m calling a doctor.¡± Cabellenus, who misunderstood Alicia¡¯s silence, immediately rose from his seat. ¡°Don¡¯t go.¡± Alicia hurriedly grabbed Cabellenus¡¯s collar as he was about to leave. She was confused, and it felt like her voice was stuck in her throat. ¡°¡­¡­Are you feeling okay?¡± ¡°Yes¡­¡­.¡± She answered reflexively, but in fact, she was not okay at all. Her body hurt as if she had been beaten all over. ¡°In the midst of all this, you still lie.¡± Cabellenus clicked his tongue and touched Alicia¡¯s cheek. It was warm. Alicia leaned into Cabellenus¡¯s hand like an animal seeking warmth. Normally Alicia would not have even thought of doing that, but the hazy mind made many things possible. ¡°You slept for three whole days.¡± ¡°Three days¡­¡­.¡± She knew she had been sleeping for a while, but to think that she slept that long? Alicia glanced up in disbelief. Perhaps because she heard that she slept for three days, Cabellenus¡¯s face seemed to look duller than usual. Of course, it was a very slight difference, so she was not entirely sure. ¡°If you hadn¡¯t woke up today, the doctor¡¯s life wouldn¡¯t have been guaranteed.¡± ¡°Sorry. I¡¯m sorry.¡± Alicia tilted her head to the side. ¡°There¡¯s no reason for you to be sorry. I¡¯m the one to blame for not paying attention to the guards in the castle.¡± Cabellenus reflexively frowned at the lost warmth. ¡°Your Grace is busy.¡± ¡°It¡¯s different from being busy.¡± Cabellenus breathed a short sigh. He knew there were rebels, but he did not care much about them. When he thought about Neinstein¡¯s regular army, the level of the rebels was obvious. Instead of pursuing an army that was not competent enough, rather than to cause it to scatter, it was advantageous to leave it alone until it showed its own tail. [T/N: Cabellenus¡¯s strategy was to wait for his enemies to show themselves so that he could pretty much defeat them all at once. This would allow him to save his resources and focus on the more pressing issues.] His usual judgement threatened Alicia¡¯s life. ¡°¡­¡­They said it could leave a scar on the palm of your hand.¡± He wanted to apologise. But his mouth would not open. In the end, Cabellenus spat out completely different words from an apology. ¡°It¡¯s fine. There was always a scar.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­ Did I make a mistake again?¡± Alicia wrinkled her nose. ¡°No.¡± Cabellenus shook his head, but his expression did not relax. ¡°But¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I told you not to worry about it anymore.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know how many times you¡¯ve apologised.¡± ¡°Sorry, no, no¡­¡­. um¡­¡­.¡± For a while, Alicia fumbled around as she tried to select her words carefully, but she eventually shut her mouth. Cabellenus sighed again as he gazed down at her lying still. ¡°There¡¯s a long way to go.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°But it¡¯s okay. We have plenty of time. I won¡¯t rush you, so let¡¯s take it slow.¡± Until you¡¯re really okay. Cabellenus held back his words as he silently put his hand on Alicia¡¯s forehead. There was no need to be hasty. It would take a lot of time to fulfil all of Gerpenus¡¯s conditions, and it would also take a while to train Alicia to become the future duchess. It was enough to start by slowly changing the way she glanced around and her overly cautious and surprised reaction to small gestures. In the future, she would never leave his side. * * * ¡°Please feel free to tell me if there are any other injuries.¡± ¡°Oh, no. There¡¯s no more.¡± Alicia hurriedly shook her head. It was the first time she had actually seen a priest in a pure white uniform, but she was familiar with the rumours. In the vast empire, priests with the ability to heal were extremely rare, and it was a famous story that even Alicia, who did not know the world, knew that every step they took held value. It was unclear how much Cabellenus had paid for bringing the priest to Neinstein. ¡°Don¡¯t look around and say it correctly.¡± Cabellenus frowned and grabbed Alicia¡¯s hand. He had made the priest come as soon as possible, but due to the distance from the capital to Neinstein, the priest only arrived after Alicia woke up. Thanks to that, Alicia boiled with a fever the whole time she didn¡¯t wake up, but now there was an opportunity to erase all of the scars on Alicia¡¯s body. ¡°But, the priest¡¯s healing¡­¡­.¡± Not only did he call a priest, but a price had to be paid for each wound healed. It was ridiculous to spend a lot of money to heal scars that were not even painful anymore. ¡°Don¡¯t say useless things, and let¡¯s start treating from right here.¡± Cabellenus lightly dismissed Alicia¡¯s defiance and showed her wounds to the priest. The priest healed the scars that Cabellenus pointed to without saying a word. ¡°I think all the scars we could see have been healed. Is there anything else?¡¯ ¡°Well, that¡¯s¡­¡­.¡± Alicia hesitated and looked at Cabellenus. ¡°If you¡¯re going to say that you won¡¯t be treated anymore, don¡¯t do it.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not that¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If you are going to say it, make sure you speak clearly.¡± ¡°I mean, the scars are under my clothes¡­¡­.¡± Alicia could not say anymore and bowed her head. Cabellenus looked at Alicia with bewilderment as he finally understood what she was trying to say and the meaning behind her bowed head. ¡°I made a mistake. I¡¯ll be out, so make sure to heal all of them. I¡¯ll confirm it later¡­¡­.¡± Cabellenus stopped talking. He then took a rather rough breath before he left the room. ¡°The Duke has a surprisingly cute side.¡± As soon as Cabellenus left, the priest chuckled. ¡°Yes?¡± Alicia was so embarrassed that she only blinked. ¡°Isn¡¯t that right?¡± ¡°That¡¯s¡­¡­.¡± Alicia tended to accept all opinions, but this time she couldn¡¯t easily nod. No matter how hard she thought about it, Cabellenus and ¡®cute¡¯ weren¡¯t a good match. ¡°His Grace called me in a hurry, so I was wondering what happened, and it turned out he was hiding a lady.¡± ¡°You seem to know His Grace well.¡± ¡°You can say that. Not anymore, but when I was a child, I came here to treat him often.¡± ¡°I see.¡± Alicia smiled awkwardly and avoided the priest¡¯s gaze. For some reason, she felt a pain in her stomach. ¡°My name is Natalie. I am the twelfth priest of the Temple of Plaim.¡± ¡°Ah, I¡­¡­.¡± Alicia struggled to speak, so she kept her mouth shut. Even though priests did not use their surname as they dedicate everything to God, they were not common people. Slaves and thousands of other poor people were the ones who did not have surnames. If she revealed her surname as Neinstein, the priest would find out that she was a fallen royal, and on the contrary, if she didn¡¯t say anything, she would be exposed as a slave. ¡°It¡¯s okay. I roughly heard about you.¡± She gently touched Alicia¡¯s back with a friendly smile as if she knew everything. The scar was covered with the white light wrapped around Natalie¡¯s hand and disappeared so quickly she almost doubted her eyes. ¡°You heard about me?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± As expected, it was Cabellenus who told her the story. Alicia chewed on her lips as she recalled the man who had just left. There was no reason to be disappointed, but thinking of Cabellenus, who would have told Natalie everything, upset her. ¡°¡­¡­You mean, you know that I¡¯m a slave, right?¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry if I upset you.¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± ¡°It must be extremely unpleasant if your personal story reaches the ears of someone you don¡¯t know. Even if the lady is angry with me, I have nothing to say.¡± At the sight of Natalie sincerely apologising, Alicia¡¯s eyes widened like a rabbit. Priests with healing powers were no less than most nobles. Even if Natalie slapped Alicia in the face right now, there would be no problem. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to listen to your stories either, but he didn¡¯t have anyone to talk to. He was holding it in by himself, and when he finally couldn¡¯t bear it, he came to me and told me all kinds of stories.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Natalie¡¯s words suddenly reminded her of the time Cabellenus spent with her. It was hard to imagine Cabellenus having a friendly conversation with someone else, but if it was the priest in front of her, it seemed possible. Her warm smile was like the pouring spring sunlight. ¡°I¡¯m really sorry. I¡¯ll apologise again. Are you very angry?¡± ¡°No. I¡¯m not angry. Rather, I was afraid that it would be unpleasant for the priest to heal a slave.¡± ¡°There¡¯s nothing different about being a slave. We are all the same before God.¡± Her eyes sparkled with conviction and did not shake. Even though she was wearing a simple uniform with no makeup on her face, she was definitely a beautiful woman, but it was not just her appearance that made her shine. ¡°Don¡¯t worry too much. Everything will work out. Even though people can be stubborn, there will always be one person who¡¯ll win. I¡¯m sure that¡¯ll happen again.¡± She was a benevolent person. Alicia could fully understand what type of person she was after exchanging a few words. But it was strange. The more she thought Natalie was a kind person, the more Alicia¡¯s heart ached. ¡°¡­¡­The priest seems really close to His Grace.¡± ¡°Does it look like that? Actually, it¡¯s¨C¡± ¡°How long are you going to keep treating her?¡± ¡°I¡¯m almost done, so keep waiting outside the door. A man who is too obsessed is unattractive.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alicia¡¯s heart pounded for no reason at Natalie, who treated Cabellenus casually. However, neither Cabellenus nor Natalie pointed out the rude remarks. They were that close. The moment she realised that she felt her heart sink. [T/N: When your ¡®heart sinks¡¯ it means you feel disappointed and discouraged.] ¡°I guess the Duke doesn¡¯t like the time women spend with each other.¡± Natalie pursed her lips as if she was disappointed and then healed Alicia¡¯s scar. However, Alicia no longer had the confidence to smile at her. She could not erase the thought that Cabellenus and Natalie were a good match. * * * ¡°Are you feeling okay? Does it hurt anywhere else?¡± ¡°Yes, I¡¯m fine. The priest took good care of me, so it doesn¡¯t hurt at all.¡± As soon as the treatment was over, Natalie hurried back saying she had business to do, and Cabellenus did not stop her. At first glance, there seemed to be no special relationship between the two. ¡°It¡¯s because her skills are indisputable.¡± [T/N: In case you¡¯re confused, Cabellenus says this. He¡¯s saying that the priest¡¯s skills are impossible to doubt.] However, Alicia often recalled how the two seemed familiar with each other and conversed with each other. If Cabellenus got married and had a wife, she thought it would be someone like Natalie. She could not help but worry. ¡°Why are you looking at me like that?¡± Cabellenus tilted his head and met Alicia¡¯s gaze. ¡°No, it¡¯s nothing.¡± Alicia waved her hands rather roughly, but the excessive response only aroused the man¡¯s suspicion. ¡°If you have any questions, just ask.¡± ¡°No, there is no such thing.¡± ¡®What is your relationship with the priest?¡¯ The words were stuck in her throat, but she could not bear to ask. [T/N: If words are ¡®stuck in (one¡¯s) throat, it means that it¡¯s something difficult to say.] Such a question was not appropriate for slaves. ¡°I have one.¡± ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°You may not have any questions for me, but I do.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Cabellenus raised his head and crossed his arms. Alicia looked at him with a troubled expression. ¡°It¡¯s a rather belated question, but do you have a guy you like?¡± ¡°Yes, pardon?¡± It was a completely unexpected question. Alicia was embarrassed and confused, and her mouth opened and closed like a goldfish. ¡°I asked if there was a man in your heart.¡± ¡°Oh, no¡­¡­. I don¡¯t think so¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Then, how about anyone you have a crush on?¡± ¡°Of course, there¡¯s no one like that¡­¡­.¡± Why was he asking her that? Alicia¡¯s face was still burning with embarrassment, and she could only mumble in response. However, Cabellenus, who had confused her, nodded with satisfaction. ¡°I¡¯m glad then.¡± What was fortunate about it? Alicia barely managed to push the question that almost reflexively popped out down her throat. Cabellenus¡¯s behaviour did not just change yesterday. After Velita¡¯s attack, his attitude towards Alicia changed. Even though the people were surprised that Cabellenus was no longer buying things for Alicia, they calmly spread rumours about Cabellenus, saying his affection for her had fallen. No, to be precise, only rumours about Alicia spread. From that day on, Cabellenus, who heard the buzzing rumours, armed the Blanche soldiers in the castle. There was no need to issue orders to deny the rumours. Those who saw the soldiers standing guard in black armour ¨C the symbol of death ¨C recalled the horror they had forgotten in the peace and quietly shut their mouths. It was true that ever since Cabellenus took over Neinstein, the slums declined and the treasury improved day by day, but the fact that he was the invader who destroyed a country did not change. They never knew when his mercy would turn into a sharp sword. People naturally began to hesitate to speak of the rumours about Cabellenus, and rumours about Alicia died down. Cabellenus no longer heard Alicia¡¯s name on the lips of others. Chapter 26 - Anything About Me TL: Kay (kkrivulet) ¡°By the way, are you learning well from Gazeff?¡± ¡°Oh, yes. Sir Gazeff teaches me very well.¡± ¡°It¡¯s good to work hard, but don¡¯t overdo it. It¡¯s only been a while since you¡¯ve got out of bed, so your body won¡¯t be in the best shape. You need to focus on recovering.¡± ¡°But I¡¯m worried.¡± ¡°We¡¯ve got plenty of time, so take your time. I¡¯m satisfied with you just learning the basics properly.¡± Cabellenus repeatedly said that there was plenty of time, but it did not reach Alicia. Alicia smiled to match the mood but lowered her head. She tried not to care about it, but she could not help but get depressed every time that topic came up. It had already been about half a year since Cabellenus and his entourage stayed in Neinstein. Everyone knew that the time for their departure was approaching. ¡®What will happen to me after he leaves?¡¯ Alicia let out a short sigh. When she first saw Cabellenus, he was a fearful being, but now it was different. It was not that he was not scary at all, but rather his existence was now familiar. Sleeping in the same bed, waking up and confirming his presence¡­ all of this was now a daily routine. ¡®I¡¯m going to be more lonely than I thought¡­¡­.¡¯ The more she thought about her daily life, the more depressed she became. She realised how deeply Cabellenus¡¯s existence had penetrated her life. ¡°What on earth are you thinking about that makes your expression change so often?¡± ¡°Pardon, yes?¡± ¡°I guess you¡¯ve become comfortable enough to think about something else while in front of me.¡± Maybe it was because of the mood, but the voice seemed to sound grumpy. Alicia finally came to her senses and shook her head quickly to express her denial. ¡°No, that¡¯s impossible.¡± ¡°I guess I¡¯m wrong. There¡¯s no need to stiffen up like that.¡± ¡°I think Your Grace is a special person.¡± ¡°Special? What do you mean by special?¡± Cabellenus titled his head to the side and stared at Alicia. The content of the evaluation was not significant. To make an evaluation, one had to think about the other person again. He quite liked that. ¡°Well, you¡¯re the Duke of Schwarhan.¡± ¡°Is that all?¡± ¡°You¡¯re also the ruler of the Blanche Empire.¡± ¡°What else is there? Tell me something more appropriate, not the obvious facts that everyone knows.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s gaze was fixed persistently on Alicia¡¯s face. In the scorching gaze, Alicia¡¯s eyes darted around nervously as she tried to come up with an answer that would satisfy Cabellenus. ¡°¡­¡­I think you¡¯re kind.¡± ¡°Kind? Me?¡± Cabellenus reflexively spat out a laugh. ¡°Of course, it¡¯s a little different from the kindness that the public talk about, but it¡¯s still how I feel.¡± Alicia also knew that kindness did not match his image as the wolf of Schwarhan. No, to confess more honestly, she did not exactly know what kindness was. But once in a while, Alicia thought, if she had to define the way Cabellenus looked at her, it would be kindness. Otherwise, she could not explain the man¡¯s behaviour which seemed indifferent but frowned, if even one scratch was on her. ¡°Honestly, I don¡¯t really like the sound of being kind.¡± ¡°Oh, then¨C¡± ¡°However, it¡¯s not as bad as I thought.¡± Kindness was a weakness, so he did not like it very much, but the evaluation Alicia gave did not sound unpleasant. No, her existence itself was like that from the start, so it was only natural. [T/N: The author is saying that Cabellenus felt that Alicia¡¯s existence never was unpleasant.] ¡°I¡¯m glad to hear that.¡± ¡°Do you have any other comments?¡± Cabellenus moved his head with an indifferent expression. However, his gaze on Alicia was subtly softer than before. ¡°Well, not yet¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Okay, then I¡¯ll ask you next time, so think about it some more.¡± ¡°What do you want me to think about?¡± ¡°If it¡¯s about me, whatever is fine.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s lips curved up into a smile. * * * Cabellenus sat in the Oval Office, reading the documents on his desk. [T/N: The Oval Office is the formal, working office space for a president, so in this case, it¡¯s for the highest power which is Cabellenus.] No, to be precise, reading was just an outward appearance. His attention was directed towards the man and woman sitting on one side of the office. ¡°Maliuna.¡± ¡°No. It should read as Mariana. Please try it again.¡± ¡°Mariou?¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s Mariana.¡± Gazeff pointed out Alicia¡¯s pronunciation without a single change in expression. Alicia bowed her head as her cheeks flushed red. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°What are you sorry for?¡± ¡°You¡¯re working so hard to teach me, but I can¡¯t keep up.¡± Alicia¡¯s shoulders sank weakly. ¡°No. It¡¯s originally a confusing pronunciation. Rather, you¡¯re doing well the first time.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Really?¡± Alicia¡¯s shoulders, which had been drooping, rose slightly. ¡°Yes, you are doing well.¡± There was a faint smile on Gazeff¡¯s mouth. At first, he was embarrassed by his lord¡¯s order to teach Princess Neinstein the manners of Blanche, but it was not too bad. Alicia was lacking in many ways. Even for Neinstein¡¯s culture, she was more ignorant than Gazeff. Nevertheless, the reason that teaching her felt good was because she was a hard worker. When he taught Alicia for the first time, she was so tense she could not even ask questions, but he did not neglect her efforts. Gazeff knew that from Alicia¡¯s pronunciation today, it would be perfect sooner or later. ¡°If you don¡¯t mind, may I try it again?¡± ¡°Of course. No matter what language you learn, it¡¯s better to pronounce it a lot.¡± With Gazeff¡¯s permission, Alicia repeated the pronunciation one after another. The pronunciation was still clumsy, but after pronouncing it a few times, it seemed much better than before. ¡°You¡¯re good at it. I think you¡¯ll get used to it sooner or later.¡± ¡°Thank you for saying that.¡± ¡°No, I¡¯m just saying what is true. You are talented.¡± ¡°I¡¯m too inexperienced to be called talented.¡± ¡°The best talent for learning is hard work, so you are talented enough.¡± With the series of praise, Alicia¡¯s cheeks became more flushed, and Gazeff¡¯s smile deepened. Although Gazeff was not a fan of praise, he always showered Alicia with praise. Gazeff was a man of talent who would have become an academy professor if he had not been Cabellenus¡¯s lieutenant. He was accustomed to education and knew how to maximise other people¡¯s talent. Alicia needed praise. ¡°Sir Gazeff is kind.¡± ¡°I was the best groomsman in Schwarhan.¡± ¡°Yes, I¡¯m sure you were.¡± ¡°It might be hard to believe, but it¡¯s really true. I¡¯ll show you later in Schwarhan.¡± Gazeff deliberately joked around and turned the page. Frequent compliments and light jokes were an effective way to relieve the mood. Alicia, who, in the beginning, could not even ask a question because she was intimidated, had grown to the point where she now confidently asked Gazeff what she did not know. For Alicia, Gazeff was a great teacher. However, the great teacher overlooked the gaze of a man who had observed them from start to finish. ¡°Gazeff.¡± ¡°Yes, Your Grace. You called for me?¡± ¡°The content in this memorandum is strange.¡± [T/N: A memorandum is a document recording the terms of a contract or other legal details. It can also be a written message in business or diplomacy.] ¡°I¡¯m sorry. It looks like there was a mistake.¡± Gazeff hurriedly rose from his seat. If Cabellenus frowned like that, it meant that it was a big problem. It made no sense to delay it. ¡°Go check it yourself and report it back to me.¡± ¡°Yes, I see. Then the lady¨C¡± ¡°I¡¯ll be watching. If you have any questions, ask me.¡± Cabellenus quickly interrupted Gazeff¡¯s words. He had an indifferent face and did not take his gaze off the documents in front of him. ¡°No. I¡¯ll just¡­ I¡¯ll take care of it on my own. I¡¯ve almost completed everything I had to learn today, so I only need to review it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alicia smiled shyly and touched the book she had to read. It was a pleasure to just study. She had no intentions of doing anything that would bother Cabellenus. ¡®Besides¡­¡­.¡¯ Alicia smiled sheepishly as she recalled the past. In fact, the first teacher to teach Alicia was Cabellenus. However, he had no talent for teaching. He was not an appropriate teacher for Alicia, who did not even know how to read. Even if he knew the answer immediately, he could not explain the problem and solution clearly. It was not until Cabellenus glared at the book and Alicia looked at it uneasily that Gazeff then became Alicia¡¯s teacher, and they were finally able to proceed smoothly. So naturally, if she asked Cabellenus, she would not get a proper answer. ¡°You seem to really like studying with Gazeff.¡± ¡°Yes, that¡¯s right. Sir Gazeff is very kind and smart, and he teaches me well.¡± ¡°Kind?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s smooth forehead was creased slightly. He, too, often regarded Gazeff as a competent lieutenant, but he could not agree at all that he was kind. Gazeff was both Cabellenus¡¯s lieutenant and aide. Gazeff was always with him when conceiving a tactic that was considered heinous. Besides¡­¡­. ¡°I think you¡¯re kind.¡± Alicia had said the same to him. The lines on his forehead deepened. ¡°Yes, very much. If he hadn¡¯t joined the military, he said that he might have become a professor, but I think that would have suited him well.¡± ¡°Being a professor is not a big deal.¡± ¡°I heard it was said to be the best academy in the empire. Besides, if Sir Gazeff became a professor, he would be the youngest in the academy¡­¡­.¡± Alicia, who was chattering like a lark, abruptly trailed off as she noticed Cabellenus¡¯s expression. Cabellenus was no longer looking at the documents. Instead, he just stared at Alicia with his chin tilted. ¡°I told you to study. I don¡¯t think I told you to chat.¡± Anxiety hovered over Alicia¡¯s face. She knew it thanks to observing Cabellenus countless times. He was now in a very bad mood. ¡°I completed my study without any problems. But¡­..¡± ¡°But?¡± ¡°Sir Gazeff tells me things from time to time, saying that it¡¯ll ease my tension. It¡¯s so fun that I keep pestering him for more without knowing it.¡± Cabellenus raised one eyebrow as he watched Alicia¡¯s cheeks redden. It was foul play to laugh like that while saying another man¡¯s name. ¡°You didn¡¯t want anything from me.¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± ¡°No. You told me from the beginning.¡± [T/N: Cabellenus is referring to her original request for him to kill her.] A breath close to a sigh flowed from Cabellenus¡¯s teeth. He knew that Alicia was gradually changing in a positive direction. If someone started to do every small thing one by one, they would naturally gain confidence. It was remarkable to see Alicia absorbing knowledge like a sponge. [T/N: The author likens Alicia¡¯s learning ability to a sponge absorbing water.] Now he could hardly see the shadow of death. But again, that face was annoying. What did Gazeff do to make her follow him like a newborn baby bird? They did not even exchange any words at all before her lessons started. ¡°Do you like Gazeff?¡± As soon as Cabellenus spouted those words, he became ashamed of himself and touched his forehead. But he did not cancel the question. When he asked that time, apparently, Alicia said there was no man she liked. However, the human heart changed much easier than replacing a reed. [T/N: A reed is a thin strip of material that is attached to the mouthpiece of a woodwind instrument. It depends on how frequently you play the instrument, but if you practice frequently, you will need to change the reed every 2-4 weeks as it breaks over time.] ¡°Sir Gazeff is a good person.¡± ¡°No, rather as a man.¡± ¡°A man? That means¡­¡­.¡± Alicia hid her clenched fist under the table. Cabellenus still did not hold her and stopped showering her with countless gifts. All he did was keep Gazeff close to her in the name of studying. Maybe Cabellenus was thinking of handing over his ownership to Gazeff. Slaves were possessions, and it was common for superiors to give their slaves to their subordinates. When she thought about that, goosebumps sprung up all over her body. ¡°Gazeff won¡¯t do.¡± Cabellenus growled in a low voice. He had no intentions of passing Alicia to Gazeff. If he were going to do such a stupid thing, he would not have gone this far in the first place. ¡°¡­¡­No?¡± ¡°Now that the situation has come to this, I¡¯m only temporarily entrusting the education to Gazeff, but after leaving for Schwarhan, it¡¯ll be hard to say.¡± ¡°Yes. Of course, I understand.¡± One word from Cabellenus sent her back and forth between heaven and hell. Alicia strengthened her fists even more. ¡°You seem fine with it¡± The reaction was too small. Cabellenus narrowed his eyes at Alicia¡¯s calm expression. ¡°I¡¯m already fully prepared.¡± ¡°Prepared?¡± ¡°Your Grace will have to return to Schwarhan someday. So, it¡¯s right for me to prepare for the moment when you¡¯re gone.¡± ¡°¡­¡­The moment when I¡¯m gone? What does that mean?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s eyes were distorted. Chapter 27 - Do You Really Think So? TL: Kay (kkrivulet) ¡°I heard you¡¯re leaving for Schwarhan before winter arrives.¡± ¡°It¡¯s true that I¡¯m leaving for Schwarhan before winter arrives. But why do you have to prepare for the moment when I¡¯m gone?¡± ¡°Well, of course, when Your Grace leaves, I¡¯ll be in Neinstein¨C¡± ¡°Are you not going to follow me?¡± Cabellenus asked in a lower voice. Alicia barely moved her lips as she tightly grasped the hem of her skirt. ¡°¡­¡­I don¡¯t have the right to decide.¡± ¡°So, you¡¯re just going to watch me leave?¡± Cabellenus clenched his teeth. Leaving with Alicia was a natural thing for him, but it was not the case for her. Instead, she took it for granted that she would separate from Cabellenus. ¡°It¡¯s up to Your Grace¡¯s heart if I can leave¨C¡± ¡°You will also leave, too.¡± Cabellenus hastily intercepted Alicia¡¯s words. ¡°Pardon?¡± Alicia¡¯s eyes widened in astonishment. It was the face of someone who had no thought of leaving together. That fact gnawed at his nerves like a worm. [T/N: to ¡®gnaw (away) at someone¡¯ means to create constant anxiety in someone. By introducing the ¡®worm¡¯ part, the author emphasises how unsettling and anxious Cabellenus was feeling.] ¡°You¡¯re going to Schwarhan too.¡± ¡°Am I really coming?¡± ¡°Then were you going to stay here alone?¡± Without me? Cabellenus roughly rose from his seat, barely swallowing back the last few words. The relationship with this woman was always like a torrent. [T/N: A torrent is a strong and fast-moving stream of water or other liquid.] Every time he thought he was getting closer to her, it would turn out that the distance had only grown even further apart. The only one who was constantly nervous and anxious was himself, while Alicia always looked indifferent. ¡°As soon as the carriage to Schwarhan is ready, I¡¯ll get you in the carriage first. Do you know what that means? Whether you like it or not, you have to go to Schwarhan with me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Why are you crying?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Is the thought of it so disgusting it makes you cry?¡± ¡°Oh, no! It¡¯s not that¡­¡­.¡± Alicia lowered her head to try to stifle her tears. Of course, she had thought he was going to leave her, but he was not. Even after winter, she could continue to stay by Cabellenus¡¯s side. That fact alone made her heart overwhelmed, and she could not bear it. ¡°Don¡¯t cry. I won¡¯t let you go even if you cry.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°And, don¡¯t bow your head in front of me. I feel like I go crazy every time you bow your head and try to hide your feelings.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s large hand grabbed Alicia¡¯s face and raised her head. His hands still smelled of iron, and it was so hard. It was as if he could crush anything. But Alicia was no longer afraid of him. Instead, she was glad to see the beastly man¡¯s gaze. ¡°It¡¯s because I¡¯m happy.¡± Tears rolled down Alicia¡¯s cheeks. All her life, she had been taught to hide her greed. But, she did not want to do that in front of this man. Even if she gave up and tried to run away, this man, who repeatedly grabbed her and told her not to hide, never hated Alicia whenever she revealed her feelings. ¡°¡­¡­What are you happy about?¡± One day she may regret this choice. She had nothing, and he had too much. The day they clearly realised each other¡¯s differences, she was sure that they would regret what happened today. Nevertheless, she wanted to say it. ¡°¡­¡­Because I can be with Your Grace.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Actually, I kept thinking about it. I wanted to go to Schwarhan with you.¡± Alicia¡¯s gaze trembled anxiously. If Cabellenus had not held her chin, she would have bowed down straight away. ¡°Then why didn¡¯t you tell me earlier?¡± ¡°Nobody wants me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Nobody wants you?¡± Cabellenus furrowed his forehead and exhaled a harsh breath. ¡°Yes. And, above all, I¡­¡­.¡± Alicia pursed her lips and looked at Cabellenus. She thought he would have urged her to continue, but he only waited quietly for her words. In the end, Alicia carefully said the words that she had withheld, tightly clenching her fists. ¡°¡­¡­I always bring misfortune.¡± Everyone was reluctant to Alicia. People murmured that she must have been born under the stars of misfortune. They said her mother¡¯s power disappeared and that she died in the end because Alicia was unlucky. ¡°Misfortune?¡± ¡°I haven¡¯t been able to tell you so far, but it would be better for Your Grace to stay away from me if possible.¡± ¡°What exactly was the misfortune?¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± ¡°What exactly was the misfortune you brought about?¡± Cabellenus moved his hand and made Alicia look straight at him. The brilliant golden eyes that shined at her were arrogant but also confident. ¡°The day I was born, there was a big fire¨C¡± ¡°The day you were born, the fire that happened was arson. Someone began the fire to deal with things. It wasn¡¯t because of you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t you tell me the next misfortune now that the first misfortune is over?¡± Cabellenus raised his head arrogantly. Alicia¡¯s lips shook as she tried to hold back the tears threatening to fall from her eyes. ¡°Well, that¡¯s why my mother died¨C¡± ¡°Your mother was beaten to death. None other than, at the command of King Neinstein. You already knew that. That¡¯s why you wanted to kill him.¡± ¡°As a result, the King was killed, but the reason is¨C¡± ¡°Do you really think so?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s grasp on her tightened. Alicia held her breath reflexively as the face of the man got closer. ¡°I¡¯ve looked into you, but I didn¡¯t see any record about you bringing misfortune.¡± ¡°But¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Nothing was your fault. You were bullied. You didn¡¯t do anything wrong.¡± That was what he believed. Cabellenus¡¯s last words were quiet, but Alicia could hear it very clearly in her ears. Alicia¡¯s face distorted as she fought back the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. ¡°¡­¡­I knew it wasn¡¯t my fault, actually.¡± ¡°Look, you thought so, too.¡± ¡°But, that¡¯s what everyone said. It was my fault, and it would have been okay if it weren¡¯t for me.¡± Alicia¡¯s trembling hand grabbed Cabellenus¡¯s collar. She knew she should not cry, but she could not stop her tears from falling. She did not want to blame herself. However, when she heard everyone say that it was her fault, she unwittingly thought so too. Because what the majority believed was always true and reasonable. ¡°It¡¯s not like that. I¡¯m telling you it wasn¡¯t your fault.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°And, even if you really bring misfortune, it doesn¡¯t matter. No. If you can really do it, try to bring that great misfortune before me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Why?¡± Alicia murmured through her tears. ¡°If you were lucky enough to cause me to falter because of that, I¡¯d be sorry for the name of the Duke of Schwarhan.¡± The man who raised his chin was full of fierce arrogance, but she could not deny that it suited him well. ¡°¡­¡­Is Your Grace afraid of anything?¡± ¡°If I was afraid of anything, I wouldn¡¯t have learned the sword in the first place.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know about neither luck nor bad luck. I¡¯ve never looked at luck to achieve something, and that¡¯s the same in the future. There¡¯s no place for misfortune to intervene.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Well, then can I follow you?¡± Alicia barely managed to keep her grasp on Cabellenus¡¯s collar as her vision blurred from the tears. ¡°Can I really go to Schwarhan with Your Grace?¡± ¡°Even if you say you won¡¯t follow me, you¡¯ll have to follow.¡± ¡°That¡¯s a relief.¡± Alicia¡¯s breath came out as a strangled cry. Now she could see why she could not keep her eyes off him. He was strong. To the point that even the stain of misfortune that had always followed Alicia¡¯s footsteps and crushed her breath was insignificant. All of a sudden, the fact became crystal-clear, and Alicia burst into tears. * * * ¡°I guess the lady isn¡¯t accompanying you today.¡± ¡°Something happened yesterday. There will be no class today.¡± Cabellenus shook his head as he recalled how Alicia had cried yesterday. What was so upsetting was that Alicia, who fell asleep because she was tired from crying, could not get up without struggling. Even though she gained weight and replenished her energy, she was still weak. ¡°I have to grab her feet and feed her.¡± [T/N: There¡¯s a common saying ¡°hold someone¡¯s feet to the fire¡± which means to pressure someone to undertake something. The author plays on this phrase to show how desperate Cabellenus is to force Alicia to eat more and become stronger.] ¡°Feet?¡± ¡°No. I was talking to myself. Don¡¯t worry.¡± Cabellenus responded briefly and then turned to the papers. However, in his mind, he was already thinking of food supplements and feet. Alicia was already weak. It was natural to be worried about whether it would be possible for her to endure the rugged land of snow well. ¡°It¡¯s fortunate that the lady is not here today. There¡¯s something I need to inform you about.¡± ¡°What do you have?¡± ¡°It¡¯s about the investigation into the lady you ordered from before.¡± Gazeff quickly approached Cabellenus. The competent lieutenant was careful not to leave any documents about the case, so he purposely did not leave a record. ¡°Have you found anything suspicious?¡± ¡°That part has not been found yet. However, in the process of searching for information, I came across this finding that I thought should be urgently reported to you before I proceed any further.¡± ¡°Is it important information?¡± ¡°In some cases, I guess so.¡± As soon as Gazeff responded, he manipulated the soundproof bracelet on his wrist. It was a precaution. He did not know that he would use the magic tool he brought with him here, but this information was important. ¡°I¡¯ll just get right to the point before the duration of the magic tool ends.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± ¡°First of all, it turns out that her mother was the lady of the Neutrina family.¡± ¡°The Neutrina family?¡± ¡°It¡¯s a minority race in the South. Records show that they were destroyed a long time ago.¡± Gazeff took a short deep breath. At first, he thought it was nonsense. However, when he recalled the ridiculous acts of King Neinstein, there was no definite answer other than this. ¡°Is that important?¡± ¡°The Neutrina family have a myth that they are the descendants of God, and their bodies are strong and used as a vessel of God for various generations.¡± ¡°Doesn¡¯t everyone have a myth? Even in the empire, there are plenty of such things.¡± Cabellenus raised his head and crossed his legs. From an early age, everyone in the Blanche Empire grew up educated in the faith, but he did not believe in God. Seeing the actions done in the name of God, he used to doubt if it was really God¡¯s will. For Cabellenus, God was just a tool to maintain power, and myths did not sound any different. Myths were nothing more or less than a justification for giving speciality to those in power. ¡°If it were just a myth, King Neinstein would never have brought her mother into the castle.¡± ¡°Are you saying the myth is true?¡± ¡°Yes. The power of the Neutrina group is likely to be real.¡± ¡°What does it mean to be real?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s eyes narrowed. ¡°In short, the Neutrina people have the power to fulfil wishes.¡± ¡°It¡¯s an empty story.¡± ¡°Yes, I think so too. Myths are inherently exaggerated or distorted by word of mouth. They will not be exactly the same. But if the myth is true, it¡¯ll be difficult in many ways.¡± After confirming the remaining time of the soundproofing magic, Gazeff spoke straight away. ¡°As you may well know, the God Plaim, which the Empire enshrines, was described as an omnipotent being able to accomplish anything. So, from generation to generation, the Plaim Temple has perfected their doctrine by saying that anyone can achieve what they want if they faithfully follow the will of God. But, if a special entity that can make a wish actually appears¨C¡± ¡°It¡¯ll be one of the two. Either be enraptured or drive into heresy.¡± The temple was not a purely religious place. The Temple of Plaim, which shared the founding of the empire and had long held power as a state religion, possessed absolute power separate from the emperor. It was a well-known story that those who claimed to be the servants of God maintained their power by forcing sacrifices under the pretext of God¡¯s will. ¡°To be honest, the story of the Neutrina still doesn¡¯t sound credible. The young lady I¡¯ve seen looks just plain and normal. But the positions of others may differ.¡± ¡°If Alicia¡¯s story spreads, not only will the Temple of Plaim move. Everyone will be eager to get a treasure that fulfils their wishes. And, if it gets worse, then the truth may not matter.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to think about it, but it¡¯s possible. If the rumours about the lady heat up the world, just owning the lady would be a symbol of power. By then, authenticity will not be necessary.¡± ¡°Then, how should we proceed?¡± ¡°In fact, the best way¡­¡­.¡± Gazeff could not help but forget what he wanted to say and trailed off. Even if Alicia had the power to make wishes come true, Cabellenus did not need such power. Cabellenus was a man who earned what he wanted by his own strength rather than relying on wishes. But that was only true for Cabellenus. Other than him, he was not sure about the other people of power. Whether or not Alicia¡¯s power was real, as long as there was a potential for conflict, it was neater to clear it up before the death of the lady fell in their hands. If the cause was eliminated, then the problem would not arise. Chapter 28 - If You Want TL: Kay (kkrivulet) ¡°Nothing changes. I am still going to welcome her as the Grand Duchess.¡± Cabellenus, who noticed Gazeff¡¯s uneasy gaze, said firmly. ¡°¡­¡­Are you sure you will be okay?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not like Schwarhan¡¯s master to keep his head down on a problem that has not happened yet.¡± [T/N: To ¡°keep your head down¡± means to avoid trouble or involvement in a difficult/dangerous situation by behaving quietly in hopes that people do not notice you.] ¡°I beg your pardon. I dared to worry about the lord.¡± At his superior¡¯s arrogant smile, Gazeff realised his mistake and quickly bowed his head. He was worried just in case, but in fact, it was ridiculous. Cabellenus, who Gazeff had seen so far, had always been a man who made the impossible possible. Something like fear did not suit him. ¡°Even so, it is always better to eliminate bothersome things wherever possible.¡± Even if she did not cause problems, Alicia had a lot of useless thoughts. It was better not to leave room for trouble. ¡°What shall we do, then?¡± ¡°I need to erase Alicia¡¯s traces.¡± ¡°What do you mean by ¡®erase¡¯?¡± ¡°Princess Neinstein is said to have died here. Additionally, we will need to erase all the information about her.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s eyes shone sharply like a beast biting the neck of his prey. ¡°Then, the lady¡­¡± ¡°Unfortunately, or fortunately, Alicia does not have the appearance of a Neinstein.¡± ¡°It would be good to generate rumours that stand out.¡± ¡°Can you do it?¡± ¡°Of course.¡± Gazeff grinned triumphantly. From the moment Cabellenus spoke, there was already a perfect plan in Gazeff¡¯s head. ¡°After erasing all the information related to the lady, we will make it look like she died. Then we can let the servants witness it, which will make them into witnesses who will then spread the rumours.¡± Alicia was a celebrity in Neinstein. It was safer to take advantage of her fame rather than to try to erase her presence unconditionally. ¡°There¡¯s going to be a lot of noise.¡± ¡°It will remain intensely in people¡¯s memories. And, as time goes by, people will forget about her, and in the end, there will only be fragmentary memories.¡± Gazeff nodded briefly. Cabellenus did not care much, but her status as a slave was a flaw in the first place. It was not a bad thing to manipulate her identity, as it was more advantageous for Alicia to become the Grand Duchess if they could take off the label of a slave. ¡°Not bad.¡± ¡°However, if that happens, the identity of the lady will be ambiguous.¡± After freeing Alicia from slavery, he planned to let her be adopted into a suitable family and then marry him, but that was before Gerpenus set forth the conditions that he had to fill. Her identity was better off as a slave until Gerpenus approved of their marriage. The requirements as the Grand Duchess of Schwarhen had to be severe as many others were aiming for the position. There was no reason to put her in danger by placing her in the spotlight. ¡°I have no plans to drag out this issue for long anyway, so it¡¯ll be fine.¡± ¡°Yes. I see. But¡­¡­.¡± Gazeff obscured his words and examined Cabellenus¡¯s mood. Even though he knew it was an overpass of his authority, he could not help it. The most important thing for Gazeff, a loyal servant, was his lord¡¯s safety. ¡°Do you have something to say?¡± ¡°Wouldn¡¯t it be better to inform His Majesty about the girl? If His Majesty knows about her powers, then such an offer for His Majesty is¨C¡± ¡°Because it¡¯s His Majesty, that¡¯s not possible.¡± Cabellenus firmly cut Gazeff¡¯s words. Gerpenus loved his half-brother, Cabellenus. Cabellenus knew better than anyone that his heart was not a lie. However, that was also why Gerpenus should never discover Alicia¡¯s identity. If Alicia really had a special power, and Gerpenus found out, his choice would be obvious. Cabellenus exhaled a short breath and lowered his eyes. * * * ¡°Something happened, so you shall be leaving first.¡± ¡°By myself?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll be sending Gazeff to accompany you, so don¡¯t worry too much.¡± ¡°If Lord Gazeff comes with me, I won¡¯t have to worry about anything, but¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I thought I told you to break the habit of blurring the ends of your words.¡± Cabellenus briefly clicked his tongue. Although Alicia thought she had become more accustomed to asserting herself, she still had a habit of swallowing her words. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter what you say. So, don¡¯t complicate it in your head, and just say it.¡± Alicia glanced at Cabellenus and carefully moved her lips. It was still strange and hard for her to express her thoughts, but she had no choice but to do so before Cabellenus. The tenacious man did not hold back his stubbornness until he got what he wanted. ¡°¡­¡­I feel sad at the thought of not being with Your Grace.¡± ¡°That¡¯s good to hear.¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± In an instant, a redness spread across Alicia¡¯s pale cheeks. ¡°Come here.¡± Alicia hesitated and carefully entered Cabellenus¡¯s embrace. The man¡¯s arms, which wrapped around her waist as if he had been waiting, was quite firm. ¡°Soon after you leave, I¡¯ll join you right away. So, don¡¯t look elsewhere for no reason.¡± ¡°Look elsewhere?¡± ¡°I¡¯m telling you not to think of useless thoughts. You always seem to have a lot on your mind.¡± Cabellenus slowly smoothed down her hair. Unlike his rough hands, the man¡¯s touch was very gentle and cautious, so it was always a wonder. ¡°You¡¯ll be leaving within this month, so if you have any luggage to pack, let Gazeff know in advance and leave it to him.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t really have anything to take with me¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Again, you¡¯re blurring the end of your words.¡± Cabellenus raised his head briefly. Alicia pondered for a while and then carefully opened her mouth. ¡°¡­¡­If you don¡¯t mind, may I bring just one thing?¡± ¡°What is it?¡± ¡°I heard from Lord Gazeff that the royal family¡¯s belongings are stored separately. I was wondering if I could take my items that are in the storage.¡± Alicia¡¯s voice grew smaller and smaller as she spoke, and by the end, it was barely audible. But that alone left a look of surprise on Cabellenus¡¯s face. It was a surprise that Alicia made a request. ¡°It¡¯s nothing great. It¡¯s just a few plain pieces of papers.¡± Alicia, who misunderstood Cabellenus¡¯s silence, hurriedly added. ¡°Calm down. As you said, it¡¯s no big deal since it¡¯s just a few plain sheets of papers. You don¡¯t have to be so nervous. I¡¯ll try to get it for you if that¡¯s what you want.¡± Cabellenus reassured the tense woman¡¯s back with his palm. Alicia carefully raised her head and looked at Cabellenus. ¡°Will it be okay?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not difficult.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s eyes quickly glanced over her expression. Alicia¡¯s face was unusually excited. It was fascinating, so Cabellenus immediately added the following words. ¡°Or, how about going to find it right now?¡± ¡°Now?¡± ¡°Not just a few sheets of paper, but you can check with your own eyes to see if you need anything else. Once we leave for Schwarhan, we will have very little chance to come back here.¡± At Cabellenus¡¯s favour, Alicia looked at him with a puzzled face. ¡°¡­¡­Can I really go find it now?¡± ¡°If you want.¡± A light smile spread over Cabellenus¡¯s mouth. The mere fact that Alicia asked for something made him feel pretty good. ¡°I don¡¯t want much. I just¨C¡± ¡°Then, you can hope for many things from now on.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If you want, I can give you more than just a few sheets of paper.¡± Cabellenus said, getting up from the bed with Alicia in his arms. It was not difficult to hold a thin, light body. On the contrary, he was happy that the woman wrapped her arms around his neck. ¡°I¨CI can walk on my own¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t understand what you¡¯re talking about if you don¡¯t say it properly.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯m telling you that if you have something to say, don¡¯t look around and just say it. If you swallow it in your heart, you won¡¯t be able to do anything in the end.¡± Alicia¡¯s face turned white at Cabellenus, who walked without hesitation. At this rate, she would go out into the hallway while being held by Cabellenus. Alicia chewed her lips as they approached closer and closer to the door and finally opened her mouth. ¡°¡­¡­please, let me down.¡± The voice was close to a whisper, but it was enough to stop Cabellenus from walking. ¡°See, it¡¯s easy when you try.¡± Cabellenus let Alicia go lightly. Although it was regrettable that the warmth disappeared, the result was not bad. ¡°Come to my side, not behind me.¡± Of course, there was room for improvement as she still naturally retreated to walk behind him. Cabellenus slowed down, imagining how long it would take Alicia to become an acceptable Grand Duchess. He had never walked in step with someone¡¯s pace, but when he saw Alicia, who seemed too overwhelmed to follow his steps, he naturally slowed down. And, for a long time, only the footsteps of the two rang out in the silence. ¡°Your Grace, how are you¨C¡± ¡°Open the door.¡± At Cabellenus¡¯s gesture, a soldier standing guard opened the closed door quickly and lit the lamp. It was not until the light came on that he could see the condition of the room clearly. The interior was not very clean, and the luggage was piled up roughly. As soon as he confirmed the fact, Cabellenus immediately regretted it. His emotions had previously taken over, so his thoughts were too short. [T/N: The sentence refers to how Cabellenus noticed how excited Alicia was about retrieving the pieces of paper, so he suddenly suggested visiting the storage area for the royal family¡¯s and without much thought.] No matter how indifferent Alicia seemed, the Neinstein royals were her blood relatives, and the items in the room were their belongings. ¡°I¡¯m afraid it¡¯s too unreasonable to find it in this state. Tomorrow, at dawn, I¡¯ll have someone¡­¡­.¡± Cabellenus frowned, unable to complete his words. Since entering the room, Alicia had only looked at one place with a bewildered expression. And the moment Cabellenus tried to call her name, her feet had already moved. Tak, tak, tak¨C Without stopping, her hands hastily opened and closed the furniture. She was looking for something. ¡°Alicia.¡± ¡°Sorry, I¡¯m sorry¡­¡­.¡± Alicia barely returned to her senses at Cabellenus¡¯s call, looked back with a frightened face. There were several crumpled sheets of papers in her hand. Cabellenus approached Alicia with a frown on his forehead. ¡°What is that?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Alicia.¡± When Cabellenus called again, Alicia barely managed to look up at him. Even though she had become better, the terrible memories popped out of nowhere, and it scared her and made her feel nervous reflexively. But what stood before her eyes was Cabellenus, not Queen Neinstein. There was no reason to be afraid. After taking a deep breath, Alicia handed over the papers she was holding with her trembling hands to Cabellenus. ¡°¡­¡­This is a portrait of my mother.¡± ¡°This picture? But this is¡­¡­.¡± Cabellenus frowned at the old parchment. The paper that Alicia handed to him had words written on it, not a picture. ¡°The picture is on the back.¡± As Alicia spoke, he turned the paper over and found a picture of a woman. Cabellenus looked at the smiling woman in the picture and pondered for a moment on what to say. It was not like him to hesitate, but when he saw Alicia¡¯s reddened eyes, his mouth would not open. ¡°¡­¡­she looks very similar to you.¡± In the end, that was the only comment Cabellenus could bring out. Alicia once again observed Cabellenus¡¯s reaction and then slowly relaxed the tension from her body. ¡°My mother is much more beautiful.¡± ¡°Is that so?¡± ¡°Yes, she was a great beauty.¡± Alicia looked at her mother¡¯s portrait with wet eyes. ¡°But why is there a portrait in a place like this? Who drew it?¡± ¡°It¡¯s embarrassing, but I drew it.¡± ¡°You?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s gaze returned to the portrait. When he learned that Alicia had drawn it herself, the drawing seemed to look a little different. ¡°It¡¯s been several years since I actually wasn¡¯t allowed to draw.¡± ¡°It sounds like someone didn¡¯t like the fact that you drew.¡± ¡°Because no one liked what I did.¡± Alicia laughed awkwardly and avoided his gaze. She had thought that she would never forget it, but over time, her mother¡¯s face gradually became more blurred. She started drawing because she did not want to forget her mother¡¯s face. The drawings that started with worn-out pen nibs on discarded pieces of paper were clumsy, but to her, nothing was more memorable than being able to draw her mother¡¯s eyes, nose and mouth. But no one liked Alicia¡¯s drawings. On the day she was caught drawing, she was accused of stealing expensive paper and pens and was beaten up. Not only was she banned from drawing, but they took away all the portraits she had drawn as well. The only time Alicia was able to see the drawings robbed from her was when Queen Neinstine was upset. Whenever Queen Neinstein was in a bad mood, she would have Alicia kneel at her feet and burn her portraits one by one. The scene of Alicia, who screamed at the portraits of her mother burning in the fire, was delightful entertainment for Queen Neinstein. Chapter 29 - I Felt Sorry TL: Kay (kkrivulet) ¡°Nevertheless, to draw a picture would mean that you were quite desperate.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°May I ask what happened?¡± ¡°I just didn¡¯t want to forget my mother¡¯s face. It¡¯s easy to remember a person¡¯s face when you draw a picture as you keep thinking about them. It also leaves a record.¡± Alicia wiggled her fingers. She did not know she would talk about this, but now she had nothing to hide from Cabellenus. ¡°After my mother died, everyone was eager to erase the traces of my mother. It wasn¡¯t enough to burn all of her objects as if they never exist from the beginning. The mere mention of my mother was like a bloodbath.¡± [T/N: Alicia likens to any mention of her mother being ¡°like a bloodbath¡± to emphasise how negatively and violently the people in Neinstein Castle reacted whenever she brought up the topic of her mother.] ¡°Then, why do these pictures remain?¡± ¡°To be precise, it¡¯s not that it remained. It¡¯s just something that wasn¡¯t processed yet.¡± Alicia weakly shook her head. ¡°It wasn¡¯t processed?¡± Cabellenus raised one eyebrow. ¡°It was Queen Neinstein¡¯s hobby.¡± ¡°Her hobby?¡± ¡°The queen used to relieve her mood by playing with my mother¡¯s portrait in front of me. She said she felt better when she saw my distorted face since I resemble my mother.¡± Alicia spoke calmly, but her body was trembling slightly. The memory of having to helplessly watch the hand-drawn portraits of her late mother being toyed with was truthfully terrible. ¡°She couldn¡¯t beat the king, so instead, she found someone to vent her feelings on.¡± Alicia let out a weak smile. The reason that the queen was angry was not because of her husband¡¯s affair. It was because she was deprived of the power she had held in her hands. ¡°It wasn¡¯t just the queen. Everyone did. My mother never loved the king, and it wasn¡¯t her will to enter the castle, but everyone was busy blaming her.¡± She did not even say a word about King Neinstein. Alicia¡¯s face was crumpled. It was already the past. She knew that telling this to Cabellenus would not make any difference. But at least once, she wanted to tell someone. ¡°My mother wasn¡¯t a bad person. She was just a victim.¡± Alicia¡¯s teary gaze touched the portrait. In the old and blurred portrait, her mother was smiling happily. It was the way Alicia wanted it to be. ¡°¡­¡­Yes. I suppose so.¡± Seeing Alicia standing firm on a subject with an expression that seemed as if she would collapse at any moment, Cabellenus carefully embraced her. He had never felt sorry for someone in his life, but he felt sorry when he saw the poor woman¡¯s face. The woman¡¯s trembling round shoulders, her skinny body that did not fully fit in his arms, and her voice that swallowed her tears like a habit were pitiful, and he felt like it was driving him crazy. * * * ¡°Are you all right, my lady?¡± ¡°Yes, I¡¯m fine.¡± Alicia nodded with a faint smile. It was unfamiliar because it was her first time riding a carriage, but it was not unbearable. ¡°If you have any inconveniences, please let me know right away. Schwarhan¡¯s carriages are heavier, so it¡¯s less shaky, but for those who are unaccustomed to long-distance travel, it can be difficult.¡± ¡°It¡¯s tolerable.¡± As soon as Alicia finished answering, Gazeff pulled out a small bottle of medicine from his chest. ¡°You should take it.¡± ¡°What is this?¡± Alicia looked alternatively at Gazeff and the medicine bottle with slightly enlarged eyes. ¡°It¡¯s a sleeping pill.¡± ¡°A sleeping pill?¡± ¡°If you don¡¯t feel well, it¡¯s okay to have the medicine and take a nap.¡± ¡°You¡¯re so sweet.¡± Alicia grinned. ¡°I prepared the sleeping pills, but it was His Grace who ordered it. His Grace said that if the lady said she felt unwell, it would be bad if I was unprepared, so he advised me to take action.¡± ¡°His Grace?¡± ¡°Yes, His Grace cared a lot.¡± ¡°I see.¡± Alicia unconsciously touched the smooth surface of the glass bottle with her fingertips. Just holding the glass bottle made her somehow feel relieved. ¡°It¡¯ll take a while before His Grace joins us. Don¡¯t mind me, and do whatever you like. While you¡¯re sleeping, I can just do my work.¡± Gazeff gave a smile and showed her the stack of papers. ¡°Are you very busy?¡± ¡°No. I personally prefer to do things in advance.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to read the room. If you have something you want to say, feel free to say it. You have no reason to be wary of me.¡± [T/N: ¡°To read the room¡± means to be or become aware of the opinions and attitudes of a group of people that you are talking to. So in this case, Gazeff is telling Alicia to just freely say and ask whatever¡¯s on her mind.] ¡°You say the same thing as Your Grace.¡± She felt like he discovered her intentions. Alicia stammered with a slightly heated face. ¡°It is an honour, then.¡± A deep smile spread around Gazeff¡¯s mouth. Alicia fiddled with the glass bottle and carefully parted her lips. ¡°In fact, I¡¯ve wanted to ask you something.¡± ¡°What is it?¡± ¡°Is this how people normally treat slaves in Schwarhan?¡± Everything Cabellenus did to Alicia was not worthy actions towards slaves. Even though she did not have much knowledge about slaves, she knew that much. However, if she admitted that fact, she would not be able to understand Cabellenus¡¯s actions. ¡°What does it mean to be treated like this?¡± How could she clearly express her intentions? Alicia chose her words, then slowly moved her mouth. [T/N: To ¡°choose your words (carefully) means to think carefully about what you want to say before saying it.] ¡°Like the treatment, I¡¯m receiving.¡± ¡°To be honest, it¡¯s not normal.¡± ¡°As expected, it is.¡± ¡°Because Schwarhan has no slaves in the first place.¡± ¡°There are no slaves in Schwarhan?¡± ¡°Slavery still exists in the Empire, and even in the capital, slave trade is quite common, but not in Schwarhan.¡± Gazeff put the documents he was holding down next to him and calmly said the next words. ¡°Slavery is a luxury in a poor land like Schwarhan. There¡¯s nothing more inefficient than bringing in slaves to a land where you have to save food by reducing one bite.¡± ¡°But, His Grace must have¡­¡­.¡± Cabellenus was a particularly extravagant spender, and it came from Schwarhan¡¯s wealth. It did not make sense that Schwarhan was a poor land. ¡°Oh, of course, it¡¯s a story of the past.¡± ¡°The past?¡± ¡°A lot has changed since His Grace became the Lord of Schwarhan. The land of cold weather, where one seed could not sprout, has now become a land of glory where all the lords bow their heads to.¡± Gazeff¡¯s eyes were full of respect for Cabellenus. He was sincerely following his superior with all his heart. ¡°Sir Gazeff seems to like His Grace a lot.¡± ¡°Not only me, but most people in Schwarhan would. If it weren¡¯t for His Grace, our lives wouldn¡¯t have changed.¡± ¡°I see.¡± ¡°That¡¯s why I¡¯m fond of my lady.¡± Gazeff gazed at Alicia with affectionate eyes. ¡°¡­¡­Pardon?¡± ¡°Because you will be by His Grace¡¯s side in the future.¡± Objectively speaking, Alicia was not a very good woman. Instead, her secret had the possibility of being a threat to Cabellenus. But Gazeff believed in Cabellenus¡¯s choice. No matter what Alicia was, as long as Cabellenus decided to take her as the Grand Duchess, he would only respect that decision. He did not doubt that she, who now appeared to be a timid lady, would one day stand tall beside Cabellenus as the Grand Duchess. ¡°You can be more confident.¡± ¡°But my status is¡­¡­.¡± ¡°There are no slaves in Schwarhan, and, even if there were, no one would consider my lady a slave.¡± ¡°That¡¯s strange.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not strange. I¡¯m just sorry for the delay.¡± Gazeff said firmly. Alicia would soon become the only wife of Cabellenus and the sole Duchess of Schwarhan. From Gazeff¡¯s point of view, it was only a pity that she could not be treated appropriately. ¡°¡­¡­Is it okay? Wouldn¡¯t my presence be a nuisance to His Grace?¡± ¡°The order that His Grace originally received from His Majesty was to destroy all the Neinstein royalty. However, he didn¡¯t kill you, and instead, let you live as a slave.¡± ¡°It seems that I¡¯ve been a nuisance to His Grace since the beginning.¡± The emperor¡¯s orders were absolute. Even if Cabellenus was the emperor¡¯s half-brother, if he went against the emperor¡¯s will, he would still be punished. In particular, the rumours about the emperor, who kept his brother in check and forced Cabellenus to the outskirts of Schwarhan, were enough to make Alicia uneasy. ¡°If you don¡¯t think it¡¯s a nuisance, it¡¯s not a nuisance.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Instead, it would trouble His Grace for you to say such a thing.¡± ¡°I¡¯m just nervous¡­¡­.¡± Gazeff narrowed his eyes at Alicia, who seemed hesitant. Although it was better than before, it was certainly difficult for people to change in a short time. Alicia needed something to boost her confidence. ¡°Your Grace does not keep his eyes on things that are of no value.¡± ¡°No value?¡± ¡°You can say that it¡¯s the same as the veins that keep you alive. You are worthy enough, and Your Grace has seen it. You are never a nuisance to His Grace. Rather, you¡¯re actually helpful.¡± ¡°Value¡­¡­.¡± Alicia¡¯s expression became a little darker. But Gazeff did not know what Alicia, who bowed her head, was thinking. ¡°Don¡¯t think too deeply. Just accept it. Even if you don¡¯t care about it, everything will naturally return to order.¡± ¡°Yes, I understand.¡± Alicia raised her head and smiled. Gazeff had no doubts and smiled along with Alicia. ¡°Thank you for understanding. Then, do you have any more questions? Other topics are good too.¡± ¡°A different topic?¡± Alicia tilted her head. ¡°If you¡¯re not going to sleep, it¡¯s good to spend some time talking. Feel free to ask me any questions that you may have.¡± ¡°¡­¡­then, may I ask what kind of place Schwarhan is like?¡± ¡°Well, that question is pretty comprehensive, so it¡¯s hard to say much. But when you talk about Schwarhan, I often use the phrase: a place where God¡¯s blessings do not reach.¡± Gazeff gave a slight nod. ¡°A place where God¡¯s blessings do not reach. That¡¯s a pretty abstract expression.¡± ¡°There¡¯s no better way to describe Schwarhan.¡± ¡°How come?¡± ¡°Because of the winter that lasts all four seasons, the frozen land is not suitable for farming, wild animals have become stronger and fiercer in line with the extreme conditions, and even monsters appear. It is not for nothing that God¡¯s blessing does not reach it.¡± It must have been terrible to recall the past as Gazeff¡¯s smooth forehead subconsciously creased with deep wrinkles. ¡°However, now it¡¯s one of the best lands in the Empire.¡± ¡°It¡¯s all thanks to His Grace. The Schwarhan¡¯s people don¡¯t just follow the Grand Duke more than the Plaim God for no reason.¡± ¡°If it¡¯s a Plaim God, it must be¡­¡± Alicia grimaced as she recalled the beautiful priest, Natalie. She had introduced herself as a priest of the Plaim Temple. ¡°It¡¯s the state religion of the Blanche Empire. It¡¯s a very old religion as it was founded with the Empire. Personally, I don¡¯t think it¡¯s doing anything great compared to its history.¡± ¡°Can you talk about state religion like that?¡± ¡°If you talk to the people of the capital, who are faithful believers, you will hear the word heresy, but now, we are the only ones.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t seem to like Plaim Temple very much.¡± ¡°Their doctrine is just for them.¡± ¡°The priest I saw before didn¡¯t look that way.¡± Natalie, who said that everyone was equal before God, was a noble priest. She could not imagine her discriminating against people. ¡°Natalie is a special person.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°How about my lady?¡± ¡°Me?¡± ¡°Do you believe in God?¡± Gazeff¡¯s curved eyes glistened for a moment. Although it did not matter what kind of person Alicia was, it was true that the secrets of her power stimulated curiosity. ¡°No.¡± Alicia replied right away without taking a breath. ¡°You answered quickly.¡± ¡°If believing in God alone could make everything okay, I¡¯d believe as much as I could. But God only listens.¡± ¡°Listens?¡± ¡°That¡¯s what my late mother said. God sees us everywhere, and he listens to our stories.¡± ¡°That¡¯s a strange story.¡± Gazeff quickly fixed his glasses that had slid down. The eyes that looked through the glass showed deeper curiosity than before. ¡°Not really. It¡¯s just a superstition. Additionally, even if God existed, if he does not do anything for me and only listens, what does that mean? You will only have hope for nothing and feel despair.¡± ¡°You resent God.¡± ¡°There¡¯s no need to resent it. It¡¯s enough if you think that no such thing exists in the first place.¡± Alicia laughed bitterly. Her mother believed in God until the moment of her death, but God did not respond to her belief. There was no reason to believe in God. ¡°¡­¡­ Am I being too pessimistic?¡± ¡°No, my lady. I don¡¯t believe in God either.¡± Gazeff lightly shrugged and touched the papers beside him. It was true that he was curious about Alicia¡¯s secret, but he could not ask anymore. The topic came about due to light curiosity, but the woman¡¯s face seemed like it would burst into tears at any moment, and she was already carrying enough emotions. Chapter 30 - You Can Kiss Me TL: Kay (kkrivulet) ¡°Isn¡¯t it cold?¡± ¡°It¡¯s all right.¡± ¡°Your face is pale, but you can still speak well.¡± Cabellenus clicked his tongue and hugged Alicia. He should have expected it from the moment she said she had never experienced winter, but Alicia was very weak to the cold. Since entering the territory of Schwarhan, she often shuddered even with a thick fur coat on. ¡°Aren¡¯t you cold, Your Grace?¡± ¡°This cold is nothing compared to Schwarhan.¡± It would get colder than this? Alicia¡¯s face turned paler as if she was sentenced to death. When she first saw the fur coat, she thought it would be excessive, but it was not. No matter how many layers of clothes she put on, she was scared that her whole body would freeze because of the chill that penetrated through. ¡°Just try to hang in there. It¡¯ll be much better once we arrive at the castle.¡± ¡°Yes, okay.¡± Even though she answered in a hurry, she was not okay at all. In an attempt to endure the cold, Alicia squeezed Cabellenus¡¯s hand even harder. ¡°You¡¯re shaking like a newborn deer.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Don¡¯t make fun of me.¡± ¡°You¡¯re able to say that now?¡± ¡°That¡¯s because Your Grace said you like this side¡­¡­.¡± ¡°That¡¯s right. Good.¡± With a light smile, Cabellenus pulled Alicia further into his coat. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alicia¡¯s pale cheeks flushed red. ¡°When we arrive at the castle, I¡¯ll get you a warm Pelee.¡± ¡°Pelee?¡± ¡°I¡¯m talking about warmed alcohol.¡± ¡°Well, I¡¯ve never drunk alcohol before. Will it be okay?¡± ¡°It¡¯s alcohol, but it¡¯s boiled in wine and other things, so you won¡¯t get drunk.¡± ¡°Do you have such a drink?¡± Alicia opened her eyes wide. ¡°It¡¯s a drink of Schwarhan and one of the best along with Gillet.¡± ¡°What is Gillet?¡± ¡°It¡¯s a type of strong alcohol. You drink it to fight the cold.¡± ¡°How strong is it?¡± Like a child who had just learned to talk, Alicia had many questions, but Cabellenus did not consider it bothersome. As she repeatedly asked questions with a curious face, he was only proud that she seemed to have grown one step further. ¡°It¡¯s hot enough to light a fire. If you drink it, your throat will feel hot, as if burned. Oh, I only heard this, but I heard that a man died after drinking undiluted Gillet.¡± ¡°An alcohol that kills people?¡± ¡°Why? Do you want to try it?¡± ¡°No. I don¡¯t like that.¡± Alicia shook her head hastily, and Cabellenus¡¯s smile deepened. He loved the warmth that wiggled in his arms. ¡°It¡¯ll be difficult to adjust for a while when you arrive in Schwarhan.¡± ¡°Are you worried?¡± ¡°I¡¯m telling you in advance that I won¡¯t blame you, so don¡¯t shrink away.¡± He hoped that Alicia would adapt to Schwarhan without any problems, but seeing her already having a hard time enduring the cold, he could not help but be anxious. It was not easy to get used to a strange land ¨C a place with different people and cultures. ¡°I won¡¯t.¡± ¡°Can I believe you?¡± ¡°Yes. I think I¡¯ll be okay because Your Grace is by my side.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s hand that was patting Alicia¡¯s back froze. There was something about the woman that shook the man¡¯s nerves at will. ¡°Of course, I know you can¡¯t stay by my side, but I¡¯m relieved to think that Your Grace is with me.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll always stay by your side.¡± ¡°That would be nice.¡± Who did the sound of the thumping heart belong to? Alicia bowed her head, unaware of her burning face. ¡°Your Grace certainly seems to have a higher body temperature than other people.¡± ¡°Other people, who¡­¡­¡± ¡°Uh, well, everyone.¡± ¡°Gazeff?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know the body temperature of Sir Gazeff, so it¡¯s hard to say¡­¡± Why were they suddenly talking about Gazeff? Alicia stuttered in a moment of confusion. ¡°If so, keep not knowing.¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± ¡°I¡¯m saying that Gazeff¡¯s body temperature is none of your business.¡± ¡°Of course, it¡¯s something I don¡¯t need to know.¡± Alicia laughed awkwardly and nodded. She did not know why, but Cabellenus often brought up the topic of Gazeff out of the blue. [T/N: If something occurred ¡®out of the blue¡¯ it means it happened suddenly or unexpectedly.] ¡°Not just Gazeff, but also others.¡± ¡°Others?¡± ¡°I¡¯m the only one who can hold you. So, you don¡¯t even need to check someone else¡¯s body temperature.¡± Cabellenus buried his face against Alicia¡¯s nape. Alicia held her breath reflexively and grabbed the hem of Cabellenus¡¯s coat. Every time the man¡¯s breath tickled her across the nape of his neck, her toes curled unknowingly. ¡°I¡¯ll have to finish my bet as soon as possible.¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± ¡°No, I¡¯m talking to myself.¡± Whenever Cabellenus spoke, his lips touched her tender flesh. Alicia wiggled her fingers with a redder face. ¡°Well¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Stay still for a moment.¡± ¡°Your Grace?¡± ¡°It¡¯s because I¡¯m a little nervous. Just for a second, just stay still for a moment.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s hand skimmed across Alicia¡¯s back. Since she was wearing a thick coat, he couldn¡¯t feel her body properly, but Cabellenus remembered how thin and small Alicia was. Even though it was only for one night, the memories of that day were more vivid than anything else and could not be easily erased. Nevertheless, Cabellenus had not held Alicia since that day. He regretted seeing Alicia¡¯s strained body and regained his composure when he saw her suffer from a high fever for days. The possibility of destroying Alicia with his own hands left him helpless. ¡°I don¡¯t know why you¡¯re so small.¡± ¡°Rather than me being small, Your Grace is just bigger.¡± Cabellenus said that Alicia was small out of habit, but in fact, she was not small. It was just that Cabellenus was very big and tall, so Alicia looked relatively small. ¡°No. You¡¯re small. And too weak.¡± ¡°Do I look that weak?¡± ¡°Very.¡± Alicia¡¯s face was perplexed at Cabellenus, who answered without hesitation. ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯m that weak.¡± ¡°You can¡¯t beat the cold at all.¡± ¡°That¡¯s because I¡¯m not familiar with it. I¡¯ll be fine once I get used to it.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to get used to it. Even if you¡¯re weak, I¡¯ll protect you.¡± Cabellenus tightened his hand. Alicia looked up at Cabellenus with a cautious gaze. ¡°I don¡¯t want to be protected.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°If I could, I wish I could protect you.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not weak enough for you to protect.¡± ¡°I know. But, I still don¡¯t want to be a burden. I want to prove my worth more clearly.¡± It would be nice if the power really came back. If so, she would be able to listen to whatever Cabellenus wanted. Regretting not being able to do so, Alicia gave strength to her hands. ¡°Don¡¯t think about it. All I want is to hold you like I do now.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Is that really all?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s gaze touched Alicia¡¯s lips. Actually, he already knew it. That fact that it was not enough. He was just rationally suppressing it, but in the end, it was apparent what his instincts wanted. Otherwise, he wouldn¡¯t be thirsty from just seeing that white and thin neck. ¡°Your Grace said that I don¡¯t need to prove my worth, but I don¡¯t think that¡¯s enough.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°If I become worthwhile, you can keep me by your side even if your interest disappears.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± In the end, she decided to live because of Cabellenus. Without him, Alicia¡¯s life goal would also disappear. ¡°If my interest cools, will you stay by my side?¡± ¡°As long as you allow it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I want to continue to stay by your side.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s hands clasped Alicia¡¯s cheek. He wanted to kiss her. No, he wanted to get much closer to her than that. ¡°After all, the reason I live is because of Your Grace.¡± ¡°¡­¡­ Then without me?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s voice quivered slightly. He knew that Alicia¡¯s reaction was different from his. Her behaviour was not much different from that of a baby bird fresh out of its egg. One day she would want freedom, just as a grown-up bird would leave their nest. ¡°¡­¡­I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t know?¡± ¡°Because Your Grace didn¡¯t want me to die. Even if you don¡¯t put me by your side, I wouldn¡¯t be able to die.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s head rang as he looked at Alicia, who was shaking her head helplessly. It was still awkward for her to put her thoughts into her mouth, but the woman smiling with a slight blush on her cheeks looked beautiful. Neither the shabby hair colour, the faded eyes, nor the pale face was much different from before, but it was just so compelling he could not take his eyes off. ¡°¡­Can I kiss you?¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± ¡°I asked if I can kiss you.¡± ¡°M-me?¡± Did his interest not cool down? A bewildered Alicia puffed her mouth like a goldfish. ¡°Do you not like it?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s head twisted to the side. Alicia swallowed her dry saliva as she watched his thin, black hair gently sweep across his forehead. ¡°You don¡¯t have to ask me for permission to do that¨C¡± ¡°I want to get permission.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± A long, thick finger touched Alicia¡¯s cheek. The man¡¯s fingertips that grazed her soft cheeks were both firm and rough. ¡°That¡¯s the only way I¡¯ll feel less guilty.¡± ¡°Guilty?¡± ¡°I thought this had gone away.¡± A vein bulged up on Cabellenus¡¯s hand. It did not matter if Alicia was holding a flimsy feeling. Even if her reckless gaze on him disappeared, she had already fallen into Cabellenus¡¯s grasp. Before she tasted more freedom and realised what his feelings were, she would be entirely bound to him as his wife. Just as his father did, and Blanche¡¯s bloodlines. [T/N: Here Cabellenus is hinting that the men of the Blanche family would tie down any woman they favour through marriage. :>] But why? When he looked into those eyes, he felt like what had felt natural seemed wrong. Cabellenus¡¯s forehead was wrinkled. The man who had nothing to be afraid of was afraid of the woman. The innocent eyes that knew nothing were more frightening than a knife¡¯s blade against his neck. ¡®He deserved to die.¡¯ The moment she realised that his two eyes, which sparkled with favour, were not giving her freedom but shackles, he felt like her gaze would turn into contempt. ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alicia¡¯s face reddened at Cabellenus¡¯s intense gaze. ¡°¡­¡­You can kiss me.¡± Alicia murmured shyly in a small voice. She did not know she would say this herself, but if she hesitated, it would be over. If she stayed silent because she was embarrassed, Cabellenus would really do nothing. ¡°I don¡¯t hate it.¡± Alicia¡¯s hand clenched her hands and muttered with her head down. Her face burned with embarrassment when she recalled the memories of that day, but she did not hate it. It was rather good. She always couldn¡¯t fall asleep easily, and she used to wake up at the slightest movement, but when she was sleeping with Cabellenus, she never did that. The warmth of others was so warm and good, it brought tears to her eyes. Cabellenus was the first person to give this to Alicia after her late mother. ¡°I¡¯m being honest.¡± Alicia spoke once more to Cabellenus, who was still unresponsive. Only then did she realise she was more nervous than she thought. She was afraid that everything would vanish like a dream in a moment. ¡°Raise your head.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I have to look at your face to kiss.¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡­.¡± It was a real surprise. The moment she thought her head was lifted by someone else, her lips were sealed by his. *Peck* It was a short and sweet kiss as if it was for a child. A hot breath flowed through Alicia¡¯s lips when she realised that fact. She did not want it to end like this. It was not what Alicia wanted from Cabellenus. ¡°What¡¯s the matter?¡± ¡°Please, do it right.¡± ¡°What?¡± She did not know what kind of courage she had to make such a comment. However, it was hard to collect spilled water. [T/N: ¡®It¡¯s hard to collect spilled water¡¯ is similar to the phrase ¡®don¡¯t cry over spilled milk¡¯ where it means that you should not worry about minor issues that don¡¯t matter in the long run.¡±] Alicia raised her face towards Cabellenus a little more. ¡°Please do what you did before.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Just like that night.¡± As soon as Alicia¡¯s words were over, her lips roughly interlocked with his. Alicia reflexively reached out her hand. The man¡¯s shirt crumpled in her white and dry hands, and the buttons that had covered his neck came undone. ¡°Sorry, I¡¯m sorry¨C¡± Alicia¡¯s voice, which was about to apologise for her clumsiness towards the sudden situation, was quickly blocked by the man¡¯s lips. Alicia gasped for breath and stared at Cabellenus with blurry eyes. She did not want to release her grip on the man even though she was overwhelmed by his heavy presence. ¡®¡­¡­ Because I want this man to see me as a woman.¡¯ Alicia tightly closed her eyes. She knew it was a relationship that was impossible to achieve. But now, she had come too far to hide her greed. No matter what she said or the excuses she made, she could no longer hide it. It was not just the environment that Alicia had adjusted to. T/N: Yay we finally got another kiss ahaha. (Alicia¡¯s finally being more honest about certain things :> Hopefully she opens up more to Cabel! Also Cabel¡¯s jealousy towards Gazeff amuses me XD) Chapter 31 - She Is Cute TL: Kay (kkrivulet) ¡°I¡¯m glad you¡¯re back, Your Grace.¡± ¡°While I was away, was there any problem with the castle?¡± Cabellenus replied briefly and immediately took a step. There was a line of people outside the castle waiting to welcome his return, but he was not particularly impressed. Having arrived in Schwarhan earlier than expected, the fact that his time would be interrupted was just unpleasant. ¡°The heads of major aristocrats have come to celebrate Your Grace¡¯s return.¡± ¡°They¡¯re doing useless things.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure everyone wants to see Your Grace¡¯s face and check your safety. You¡¯ve been away for a long time after all.¡± Cabellenus glanced at his deputy, Gazeff, who had read his innermost thoughts. ¡°The heads of the North are all stubborn people, so they won¡¯t leave the castle until Your Grace meets with them. Since that¡¯s the case, wouldn¡¯t it be better to meet them quickly and then kick them out?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Anyway, they are the heads of the families that support the North, so we can¡¯t ignore them, and if you leave them here for no reason, a useless story may arise.¡± Unless they hid Alicia somewhere, it would be virtually impossible for her presence to remain undiscovered. Additionally, the fact that she came back with Cabellenus was inevitably enough to draw attention to her. However, there was no reason to advance the timing. Until Alicia got used to Schwarhan, her presence was better off undetected. ¡°The old men are useless and talk too much.¡± ¡°Everyone is anxious because they want to make you their son-in-law.¡± Even though Cabellenus was of marriageable age, he still had no fianc¨¦e. In some way, it was only natural that the influential people of Schwarhan were working hard to establish family ties with the unmarried Grand Duke. Under these circumstances, it was not beneficial for Alicia¡¯s existence to stand out. ¡°¡­¡­I can¡¯t.¡± Cabellenus sighed briefly. ¡°While Your Grace meets with the heads of the family, I will go and visit my aunt.¡± ¡°Yes. I¡¯ll try to finish it as soon as possible.¡± Gazeff laughed when he noticed Cabellenus¡¯s worries. For now, Alicia was in a pre-arranged room, so she did not have to be revealed to many people. All the people next to her were trustworthy, but considering her, who would be tense in an unfamiliar environment, it would be better for a familiar person to stay by her side. Gazeff gave a brief silent tribute to Cabellenus and then immediately turned to leave. * * * ¡°Hello, my lady. I am Baroness Lylett Morco, the maid of honour who will be serving the lady from today. You can comfortably call me Mrs Morco.¡± ¡°Oh, yes, hello.¡± ¡°And, the names of these children are Shizuna and Shirin. As your exclusive maids, they will be with me to assist you.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure I have a lot of shortcomings, but I look forward to working with you.¡± Alicia smiled awkwardly with her hands folded. All the people, including a middle-aged woman who introduced herself as Mrs Morco and others, were favourable to Alicia, but Alicia had not forgotten her identity. Although Gazeff told her that there were no slaves in Schwarhan, it was unavoidable to feel strange about this situation. ¡°My lady, you must lower your words to your subordinates.¡± ¡°What do you mean by subordinates?¡± ¡°I¡¯ve heard everything from Gazeff, so you don¡¯t have to be too nervous.¡± ¡®Did she hear that I was a slave?¡¯ Looking at Alicia with her eyes wide open, Mrs Morco chuckled. Rather than mocking her, she had a friendly look as if she was looking at her daughter. ¡°Do you know Sir Gazeff?¡± ¡°He¡¯s my nephew.¡± She felt relieved to hear that Mrs Morco knew someone she knew. Alicia responded to her gaze with a more natural smile. ¡°Now that I look closely, I think you resemble Sir Gazeff a lot.¡± ¡°Gazeff¡¯s mother and I are twin sisters. So Gazeff, too, is like a son to me.¡± ¡°I see.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to be so afraid. Both Gazeff and I are on your side.¡± ¡°That¡¯s¡­¡­ it¡¯s still a little strange.¡± All Alicia had ever seen was Neinstein, and that was only the inside of the castle. The endless view of the snowfields and the sheer size of the castle that seemed easy to get lost in could not erase the feeling of falling into an enormous kingdom. ¡°Come to think of it, this is your first trip, right? It must have been quite difficult to come all this way to Schwarhan.¡± ¡°No. It wasn¡¯t that hard.¡± At Mrs Morco¡¯s gesture, the maids helped Alicia take off her coat. Alicia awkwardly allowed the maids to serve her. ¡°I¡¯m glad to hear that, but the excitement of the trip comes after the tension is relieved. How about taking a hot spring bath while the servants unpack? The hot spring water of Schwarhan is so famous that His Majesty, the emperor, also praised it. Warming yourself in the bathwater with a glass of Pelee will make you feel much better.¡± ¡°A hot spring? What is that?¡± ¡°Oh, you may not know about hot springs since you¡¯re from outside the country. Hot springs are hot water coming out of the ground.¡± ¡°Hot water comes out of the ground?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not a geologist, so I don¡¯t know the principle, but hot spring bathing is a culture loved by the noble ladies of Schwarhan. After bathing in a hot spring, your skin feels smoother than white jade. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll fall in love with it once you experience it.¡± Mrs Morco smiled kindly and approached Alicia. She did not realise it when Mrs Morco was further away, but the middle-aged lady with soft brown hair was a head taller than Alicia. ¡°Mrs Morco is very tall.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve never heard anything like that before. Most Schwarhan women are about this tall.¡± ¡°Is that so?¡± ¡°You have to be strong to survive the harsh weather. Most Schwarhan people have good physique. They are warriors who can carry one game while having a bow in their hands, regardless of whether they¡¯re women, men, or old people.¡± Mrs Morco laughed openly and put her hand on Alicia¡¯s shoulder. The eyes of Mrs Morco, which remained sharp even though she was smiling, was definitely a warrior¡¯s. ¡°Thanks to you, I am now your maid of honour and escort.¡± ¡°You¡¯re going to be my escort?¡± ¡°Yes, and that¡¯s the same for those kids.¡± The maids who made eye contact with her smiled. The girls, who seemed to be Alicia¡¯s age, were tall and slender, just like Mrs Morco. ¡°Is this place dangerous enough to need an escort?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not that. On the contrary, this place with Your Grace is safer than anywhere else on the continent. Simply put, you can understand that it¡¯s not really about something that will happen, but rather, being able to respond to something unexpected.¡± Mrs Morco gently brushed Alicia¡¯s shoulder, then grabbed her hand. Mrs Morco¡¯s hand was also quite large, which was a stark contrast to Alicia¡¯s hand. ¡°Don¡¯t worry too much. As long as I am with you, nothing will happen to you.¡± ¡°Thank you for taking care of me.¡± The hand covered with calluses in the shape of a sword handle reminded her of a man. Alicia recalled the face of Cabellenus that suddenly came to mind, with a smile on her lips. *Knock, knock¨C* ¡°My lady, aunt, if you don¡¯t mind, may I come in?¡± ¡°It looks like Gazeff is here, my lady. May I tell him to come inside?¡± Mrs Morco asked for Alicia¡¯s instructions in a soft tone. ¡°Oh, yes. Of course.¡± Alicia nodded clumsily, and the maids opened the door right away. ¡°I¡¯m here to make sure you¡¯re comfortable, my lady.¡± ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡± Alicia answered softly with a relaxed face. It was not the face she expected, but she was glad to see him again. ¡°You must have already greeted my aunt. She will continue to support you, so if you feel uncomfortable or need anything in the future, please tell my aunt, and she will take care of it neatly.¡± ¡°It¡¯s an honour for me to serve you, my lady, so please do as Gazeff said and be comfortable with me. You can consider me as your hands and feet.¡± Mrs Morco bowed once again to greet her in an elegant gesture. ¡°No. I¡¯m more honoured to be with someone as beautiful as Mrs Morco.¡± ¡°Oh my lady, you¡¯re a good talker. If you learn a little, you¡¯ll be good at social activities.¡± Mrs Morco¡¯s eyes twinkled. ¡°Social activities?¡± ¡°Your Grace said you don¡¯t need to do social activities, but you are in the position to do so. It would be good to learn basic etiquette. I¡¯ll tell you about the qualities of a noble lady in the future.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not a noble lady¡± Alicia shook her head urgently, but Mrs Morco did not seem to care much. ¡°But it would be better to learn it in advance. If you become a noble lady, you will have a lot of work to do, and you won¡¯t have time to learn basic education.¡± ¡°But¡­¡­.¡± Alicia shuddered. A slave, the lowest-ranking citizens, could not become a noble lady. It was meaningless to learn the skills of a noble lady. ¡°By any chance, do you not want to learn?¡± ¡°No. I like learning about things. But you know, about my position.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯m a very tight-lipped person.¡± [T/N: A ¡®tight-lipped¡¯ person is someone who is not willing to speak about something. Mrs Morco is saying that she will not tell other people about Alicia¡¯s ¡®slave¡¯ status.] ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Or, maybe you should learn it once, and if you really don¡¯t think it¡¯s going to work, please tell me then. It¡¯s a shame to give up without trying it from the beginning.¡± Alicia hesitated and eventually nodded at Mrs Morco, who tenderly touched her back as if she was cheering for her. For Alicia, who had just learned the joy of learning, Mrs Morco¡¯s offer was tempting. ¡°You thought about it well. Even if I look like this, I¡¯m famous as a social studies teacher in Schwarhan. You won¡¯t regret learning from me.¡± ¡°I wondered who Sir Gazeff, who was sweet and friendly, resembled. It turned out he must resemble Mrs Morco.¡± ¡°He¡¯s sweet?¡± Mrs Morco tilted his head as if she was puzzled. ¡°In fact, I¡¯ve been taking lessons from Sir Gazeff before I came here. He taught me so well and spoke so kindly every time.¡± ¡°It¡¯s probably because he¡¯s a dog to the man in power.¡± [T/N: Mrs Morco is likening Gazeff as the dog and Cabellenus as the master. :> Also emphasises how loyal Gazeff is to Cabellenus.] ¡°Aunt. You¡¯re using a vulgar expression in front of the lady.¡± Gazeff groaned and touched his forehead. His aunt was one of the most elegant ladies in society, but she was also a knight who once shook the battlefield. Perhaps because of the rough battlefield, there were times when she laughed casually and spat out harsh words. ¡°But isn¡¯t that right?¡± ¡°That¡¯s¡­¡­.¡± Gazeff reflexively glanced at Alicia. Alicia, embarrassed by the strong expression, only blinked her eyes with her mouth slightly opened. ¡°My aunt must have surprised you.¡± ¡°You¡¯re so surprised. My lady is so cute.¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± ¡°Aunt.¡± Gazeff called Mrs Morco urgently. ¡°Okay. I got it. So, stop looking at me like that and just run an errand for men.¡± ¡°What kind of errand?¡± ¡°Instead of me, go to the Morco mansion. Go bring me some clothes that Lyrin hasn¡¯t worn yet.¡± ¡°Why are you looking for Lyrin¡¯s clothes?¡± ¡°I can¡¯t believe it, but the lady¡¯s stuck in between a bunch of guys, and she looks ridiculous. We need to prepare appropriately here in Schwarhan. Go now while the lady has a hot spring bath and come back quickly.¡± Although Alicia¡¯s dress was a fashionable design in the capital, in the keen eyes of Mrs Morocco she did not approve of it. Even if Alicia wore a bunch of precious jewels and golden embroidery, it would not suit her at all. Even if she wore a gorgeous dress with her pretty and modest face, it would only look awkward as if it were borrowed from someone else¡¯s clothes, let alone pretty. ¡°¡­¡­Do I look that bad?¡± No one had ever criticised what she wore. Alicia looked at Mrs Morco with a troubled face, but Mrs Morco only gave a gentle smile. ¡°No. My lady is not a problem at all.¡± ¡°But you just said that I look ridiculous.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to worry too much. The problem is not with you but the poor aesthetics of the men. They don¡¯t know that you have to wear clothes according to the characteristics of the person wearing them.¡± ¡°Poor aesthetics¡­¡­.¡± Alicia, who unconsciously repeated Mrs Morco¡¯s words, paused and smiled awkwardly. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. As long as I¡¯m your maid of honour, there won¡¯t be any more mishaps.¡± Mrs Morco raised her chin with a graceful smile. The fact that she had finally met Schwarhan¡¯s mistress was more exciting than anything else. T/N: I have to say Mrs Morco is so sweet and lovely! (I love her honesty and warm personality). I¡¯m so glad we have another nice new character. Also stay excited to see how Mrs Morco will dress Alicia¡¯s so that the clothes suits her better heheheh. Chapter 32 - Everyone Has A Beautiful Side ¡°How are you? Are you satisfied with the hot springs bath?¡± ¡°Yes. It was great. The Pelee I drank while bathing in the hot springs was also very delicious.¡± Alicia¡¯s cheeks reflected in the mirror was flushed with heat. Mrs Morco arranged her dress, laughing as she commented that Alicia was cute. Considering that it was for indoor use, the dress with almost no decoration was quite simple, but it did not look shabby. On the contrary, whenever the dress moved along her figure, it gave off an elegant atmosphere. ¡°Mrs Morco is like a wizard.¡± ¡°I am?¡± Alicia nodded with all her might. She had tried on many dresses, but this was the first time she thought it looked like her own. All the dresses Cabellenus had given her were pretty, but when she wore them, it looked like her face was just floating. From the beginning, she just vaguely thought that something like a dress did not suit her. ¡°I¡¯ve never worn such a pretty dress before.¡± ¡°The dress is not pretty. It¡¯s just that the lady is beautiful.¡± ¡°No way. I¡¯m not beautiful.¡± ¡°There are standards of beauty, but just because someone doesn¡¯t meet those standards, it doesn¡¯t mean they¡¯re not beautiful. Everyone has a beautiful side. For example, my lady has a very beautiful figure.¡± Mrs Morco tapped Alicia¡¯s exposed shoulder with her index finger. ¡°Figure?¡± ¡°Yes. My lady has a beautiful figure as if it was painted with a brush. That is why you will look more attractive if you wear a dress that shows off your figure.¡± ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯ve never thought about that.¡± ¡°It¡¯s usually hard to notice. People usually focus on the shortcoming rather than strength. It¡¯s not strange. Everyone does.¡± Mrs Morco, who noticed Alicia¡¯s drooping shoulders, tenderly consoled her. ¡°Is that so?¡± ¡°More than anything, you have me now. From now one, I will find all the charms that you don¡¯t know, so you don¡¯t have to worry about it.¡± Mrs Morco skillfully gathered Alicia¡¯s hair together and tied it up. ¡°Now, look. You look good with your hair up like this. It¡¯s all thanks to you having a long, thin neck like a deer. Besides, because your skin is white, all of the jewellery will look good on you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°At the same time, my lady¡¯s jewellery box is excellent. Whenever we have time, we can try them all and find out which jewel suits you best. Oh, of course, I¡¯ll have to dispose of all those ridiculous dresses.¡± ¡°About that, do I have to dispose of all the dresses?¡± ¡°Do you not want to dispose of it?¡± Mrs Morco tilted her head in confusion. ¡°Well, because they are all gifts from Your Grace¡­¡­.¡± A satisfied smile spread across Mrs Morco¡¯s lips as she noticed the blush on Alicia¡¯s face. She had heard from her nephew that the Grand Duke was much more anxious, but it did not seem to be so. ¡°Then, why don¡¯t we change the design by mending it?¡± ¡°Can I do that?¡± ¡°Of course. If you give me your orders, I¡¯ll make everything possible.¡± ¡°In that case, please.¡± ¡°It¡¯s an honour.¡± Mrs Morco gave a simple greeting and lifted her hand from Alicia¡¯s head. It was only a brief moment of tinkling, but the neatly finished hair was simply admirable. ¡°Mrs Morco is really like a wizard.¡± ¡°It¡¯s just a simple technique. You don¡¯t have to look formal today so we can lighten it up.¡± ¡°But it¡¯s so pretty.¡± ¡°I¡¯m glad you like it. Next time I¡¯ll put it up in a prettier hairstyle.¡± When Mrs Morco stepped back, Shizuna, who was waiting beside her, handed over the coat she was holding. It was a much thinner and lighter cloth coat than the fur coat worn in the carriage. ¡°Come to think of it, it¡¯s amazing that it¡¯s not cold in the castle at all.¡± With the help of the maids, Alicia wore her coat and tilted her head. Truthfully, until she arrived at Schwarhan, she suffered from the bitter cold, but she did not feel cold after entering the castle. ¡°There are spirit stones all over Schwarhan Castle, so it always maintains a constant temperature.¡± ¡°It¡¯s my first time hearing about spirit stones.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a stone that carries the essence of mana. It¡¯s Schwarhan¡¯s treasure.¡± Mrs Morco replied, not taking her eyes off the shoes lined up on the table. In fact, while talking, Mrs Morco¡¯s complete attention remained focused on choosing the shoes that best matched Alicia. ¡°Schwarhan¡¯s treasure?¡± ¡°Processed spirit stones can be used by people who are not wizards. So in Schwarhan, the spirit stones are processed in different ways for various purposes. The warmth inside the castle is all thanks to the spirit stones.¡± Mrs Morco gave up choosing from the shoes she had taken out and urged Shirin to open another shoebox. All of Alicia¡¯s shoes, originally intended to be paired with her original dresses, were colourful and gorgeous. However, they did not match the dress Alicia was currently wearing. ¡°How amazing.¡± ¡°Yes, it is. I enjoy the benefits of the spirit stones every day, but I am always amazed and grateful. If Your Grace had not recognised the value of the spirit stones, this would still be a land abandoned by God.¡± ¡°Rather than a land abandoned by God, is it not a land where God¡¯s blessings cannot reach?¡± ¡°Did you hear about the meaning of Schwarhan from Gazeff?¡± Mrs Morco put down the shoes she was holding and turned her head towards Alicia. ¡°How did you know?¡± ¡°Because he likes to save face. He tries to use more refined expressions.¡± [T/N: The idiom ¡®save face¡¯ means to avoid embarrassment/humiliation and preserve dignity.] ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°To be honest with you, Schwarhan¡¯s name means the land abandoned by God. It was named this way because it was often used as a land of sinners, even though the cold weather was severe.¡± Mrs Morco, who was not very happy with the shoes, came back to Alicia again. ¡°What do you mean by a land of sinners?¡± ¡°Now that Your Grace is in charge, they won¡¯t dare, but for the treatment of heresy the original temple of Plaim used to send people to Schwarhan.¡± ¡°Treatment?¡± ¡°There¡¯s no one who can stand bare in the endless snowy fields and the freezing winter cold, and above all, pure white snow is good for erasing everything. They called it deportation, but it was practically no different from the death penalty.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°As a servant of God, they cannot defile their hands directly, so in their own way, they found a neat solution.¡± Although it was not a simple story to tell, Mrs Morco, who told the story, still seemed to have little interest other than the shoes. Mrs Morco breathed a faint breath and stared at the shoes worn by Alicia. The lace ribbon adorned in front of the shoes drew attention even with the slightest movement by Alicia. ¡°It¡¯s a cruel story.¡± ¡°Do you think so?¡± ¡°Doesn¡¯t Mrs Morco think so?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know about the kids right now, but death wasn¡¯t a big deal for the Schwarhan people at the time. It wasn¡¯t that difficult to see the bodies of friends or family members who were fine until yesterday. So, I wasn¡¯t interested in the story. No. It¡¯s a land of death anyway, and I thought it wouldn¡¯t matter if there were a few more lives there.¡± ¡°Mrs Morco has become indifferent.¡± Mrs Morco frowned and eventually took off Alicia¡¯s shoes. A neat dress and fluttering lace shoes was not a very good combination to see. ¡°It¡¯s because I suffered through too many deaths to be emotional for each one. I had no choice but to be indifferent. Of course, I cried all day when my twin sister died.¡± ¡°When you say twin sister, Sir Gazeff¡¯s¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to worry about it. It¡¯s all in the past now. Frankly, I can¡¯t even remember her face anymore, but when I see my own face, I just think that she would have looked like this if she was alive.¡± Eventually, Mrs Morco¡¯s expression brightened only after removing the protruding accessories from the shoes. She put the shoes back on Alicia¡¯s feet in a restrained motion and then put on a proud face. Behind her back laid the unselected shoes. ¡°It¡¯s a bit disappointing that I couldn¡¯t match the shoes for you right away. But I¡¯m satisfied with this today.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I told you not to get bored, but I must have told you a story that was too dark. I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s not something for Mrs Morco to be sorry about.¡± Alicia frantically waved her hands. ¡°Then, please keep it a secret from Gazeff that I told you this story.¡± ¡°A secret?¡± ¡°Because he¡¯s different from me. He¡¯s still young, and he¡¯s quite emotionally sensitive. Yes. He¡¯s like an example of the young people of Schwarhan right now. They¡¯re angry at the atrocities committed by the Plaim Temple, and they¡¯re anxious to change Schwarhan.¡± Mrs Morto clicked her tongue and crossed her arms. ¡°I don¡¯t think Sir Gazeff would change Schwarhan badly.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not saying Gazeff would be bad. However, good intentions don¡¯t necessarily produce good results. Besides, no matter how powerful he is, the Grand Duke ¨C whom the child blindly believes ¨C is still a person in the end.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Additionally, even if there is a spirit stone, it doesn¡¯t mean Schwarhan itself will change. Schwarhan is still a frozen land of death and is eager to take more lives. Unless that fact changes, nothing much will change. It¡¯s more efficient to try not to lose what we are enjoying right now.¡± Mrs Morco grumbled and awkwardly chuckled when she realised that she had said more than she intended. ¡°I¡¯m afraid I¡¯ve said all this nonsense. Don¡¯t worry too much. Just treat it as an old woman¡¯s whining.¡± ¡°No. It was a great time to learn about things I didn¡¯t know.¡± Alicia hurriedly shook her head from side to side. She was not lying. Alicia always wondered about Schwarhan. ¡°I¡¯ll tell you a more interesting story next time¨C¡± *Knock, knock¨C* ¡°Are you ready, my lady?¡± ¡°Oh my God. Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. This guy is no different. If it¡¯s okay, may I let him in, my lady?¡± [T/N: ¡®Speak of the devil, and he shall appear¡¯ is a proverb used to acknowledge that someone who was being discussed has unexpectedly appeared.] Mrs Morco smiled and asked Alicia for permission again. Alicia nodded quickly. ¡°I hope you had a good time with my aunt. As you know now, my aunt is a respectable lady, but there are often moments when she puts rude expressions in her mouth¡­.¡± Gazeff, who had been speaking smoothly, found Alicia and unconsciously stopped. Honestly, he once thought that Alicia, who was scared and withdrawn, was like a small animal. But he never thought she was beautiful. Alicia left such a mediocre and bland impression it was impossible to understand why Cabellenus was attracted to her, and the evaluation had not changed at all since the time he first met her. However, looking at Alicia now, he thought he could change his mind. Although there was nothing particularly different about her face, the atmosphere around Alicia was very different from before. Alicia, dressed in lighter attire and her hair tied up, was elegant and dignified, making it comparable to being an aristocrat of any family. The thought that she was a princess in ruin or a slave no longer came to mind. ¡°¡­¡­I was worried that my lady might have felt uncomfortable.¡± Gazeff belatedly repeated his original words and briefly coughed. No matter how surprised he was, it was disloyal to look at the future Grand Duchess in this manner. It was terrible to think about what would have happened if Cabellenus had seen how he was reacting right now. ¡°No, it wasn¡¯t uncomfortable.¡± ¡°I¡¯m glad to hear that. Your Grace has decided to go directly to the dining room so you can make your way there too.¡± Gazeff tried to smile as usual but turned his head awkwardly away from the gaze he encountered. He tried to accept it calmly, but after all, Alicia¡¯s present appearance was too strange. It seemed like he was looking at a totally different woman. ¡°Is it okay to have a meal with Your Grace in Schwarhan?¡± Alicia¡¯s face brightened noticeably at the long-awaited news of Cabellenus. Although everyone was kind, she missed Cabellenus. ¡°Yes, of course. You must be feeling hungry, so let¡¯s quickly go to the dining room. The dishes made by the chef of Schwarhan Castle are very delicious. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll definitely love it.¡± ¡°I¡¯m looking forward to it.¡± Alicia, who was shyly blushing, was a familiar sight to Gazeff. Gazeff finally breathed a sigh of relief and resumed his role as Alicia¡¯s attendant. Chapter 33 - I Miss You ¡°You arrived first.¡± Cabellenus spotted Alicia sitting in the dining room and approached her. ¡°You¡¯re here?¡± Alicia jumped up like a puppy welcoming her owner. They were not apart for long, but somehow she felt empty since, before this, they had been together for so long. Furthermore, with the help of Mrs Morco, Alicia looked beautiful. It could not be helped that she was secretly excited to see Cabellenus¡¯s reaction. ¡°You must be hungry. Let¡¯s eat right away.¡± Contrary to Alicia¡¯s expectations, Cabellenus only sat down with an indifferent face. Alicia hesitated for a moment, then soon followed Cabellenus. While the food was being served, she even cast a sideways glance to observe Cabellenus, but he seemed to have little interest. ¡°I don¡¯t know if Schwarhan¡¯s food will suit your taste.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± ¡°Unlike the south, the northern regions don¡¯t use a variety of spices, so it might be a bit bland for your taste.¡± ¡°I see.¡± ¡°Alicia.¡± ¡°Yes, yes¡­¡­ oh.¡± Alicia, who was obligated to answer, smiled awkwardly at the gaze on her face. Cabellenus raised his chin and looked at her with his eyes narrowed. ¡°What are you thinking about?¡± ¡°That¡­¡­.¡± Alicia¡¯s pale cheeks turned red. She was ashamed to say that she had expected praise. ¡°Tell me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Do I have to tell you?¡± ¡°As long as you want me to judge your thoughts.¡± Cabellenus nodded his head lightly. Alicia did not know what to do, she closed her eyes tightly, and only her lips fluttered. ¡°¡­¡­I thought you would tell me that I looked different.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s embarrassing, but in fact, I thought I actually look a little prettier¡­¡­.¡± Again, it embarrassed her to say this. Alicia could not bear to raise her head and tormented the innocent vegetables with a fork. ¡°I¡¯ve never done anything like saying something is pretty in my whole life.¡± ¡°Yes, I¡¯m sure you haven¡¯t.¡± Alicia nodded vigorously, but rather that scratched Cabellenus¡¯s nerves. Cabellenus slightly frowned and then opened his mouth. ¡°Really?¡± ¡°Yeah.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± However, those were not the words he wanted to hear. As he gazed down at her bowed head, a deeper wrinkle formed between his brows. Cabellenus pondered for a moment, then opened his mouth again. ¡°¡­¡­I had a thought about wanting to kiss you.¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± Alicia¡¯s forking stopped. She could feel Cabellenus¡¯s hot gaze, but she could not bear to raise her head. ¡°And, it was unpleasant.¡± Cabellenus nodded slowly. The dress with the body line that softly appeared in line with the movement matched Alicia well, but he thought others would think the same, so his mood subsided. When he first met her, she was so shabby that no one would look at her, but that was not the case anymore. It was not just a simple feeling ¨C it was pleasant but unwelcome. ¡°Well, shall I not wear this next time?¡± The heat rose and sank immediately. Alicia was startled and raised her head reflexively. ¡°No. Wear it if you want to. That wasn¡¯t my point.¡± ¡°But, you said it was unpleasant.¡± ¡°It was unpleasant. But those are my thoughts, not yours.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to do anything that Your Grace is displeased with.¡± She did not want to be hated. She wanted to stay like this. Alicia looked at Cabellenus with an anxious look. ¡°I don¡¯t like anyone else seeing you ¨C except me.¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think it would be a bad idea to keep you locked up so that only I can see you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°But would you comply just because I found it unpleasant?¡± Cabellenus raised the tip of his chin slightly. His eyes that gleamed under the ornate chandelier were menacing like a wild beast. ¡°I just¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s easy to command you. But that¡¯s not what I want. I want you to become a person who can choose and judge for yourself.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°Because I miss you.¡± Cabellenus stroked his chin and revealed his hidden desire. What he wanted was a wife who stood on an equal footing, not an obedient slave. He wanted her to become the owner of a noble position where everyone would look up to and not take for granted. Cabellenus intended to raise Alicia to where he stood. ¡°I don¡¯t like that dress because it makes you look pretty in the eyes of others now.¡± ¡°Ha, but I¡¯m certain that you¡¯ve never said anything is pretty¡­¡­.¡± The heat that she thought had subsided began to rise again. Alicia stammered, not knowing what she was saying. ¡°I said I¡¯d never done it. I didn¡¯t say I wouldn¡¯t.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± At this rate, it felt like her heart would burst. Alicia stared blankly at Cabellenus, then came to her senses and quickly lowered her head. Otherwise, she would not be able to hide her face that was so hot that she could not turn red anymore. Alicia wiggled her fingers under the table for a long time and eventually nodded. ¡°¡­¡­I want to wear it.¡± She didn¡¯t know how long she agonised about it until she said that short remark. Alicia carefully lifted her bowed head and looked at Cabellenus. He did not look upset despite the impolite answer. ¡°Yes, do as you please.¡± He answered calmly and sliced the meat. Alicia glanced sideways at Cabellenus several times before she followed him and grabbed the tableware. There was various cutlery provided, but there was no need to think about how to use them. Cabellenus, who started eating first, was slow, so it was not difficult to follow. * * * ¡°Shall I do this?¡± ¡°You answered correctly, but you just used honorifics to me again.¡± ¡°Oh, I apologise, no, I¡¯m sorry.¡± [T/N: Alicia is correcting herself to apologise more casually. ??? (formal apology) to ??? (casual apology for people older than you)] ¡°It¡¯s okay. It¡¯s difficult to change a lot of things at once. You¡¯re doing well, so you don¡¯t have to be too disheartened.¡± Mrs Morco smiled and placed the teacup down. ¡°But I still want to be good at it.¡± Alicia smiled awkwardly and put the teacup down in front of her. It was still difficult to place a teacup silently like Mrs Morco and be as elegant as Mrs Morco. However, learning something was always fascinating and fun, so she felt excited whenever she did anything. ¡°Don¡¯t worry too much because it¡¯s not urgent. If you are uncomfortable with honorifics, you can try it again later.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Can I?¡± She knew she would be able to master it if she kept practising, but Mrs Morco was an aristocrat and was much older than Alicia. Alicia, who was aware of her status, could not speak comfortably. ¡°Of course. If you don¡¯t feel comfortable, you can do it when you feel more comfortable. Especially, since you haven¡¯t been in Schwarhan for long. I know it¡¯s hard to get used to an unfamiliar environment. You don¡¯t have to strain yourself.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± ¡°No. It¡¯s my job to keep you safe and comfortable.¡± Mrs Morco replied lightly and then ordered Shirin to bring the candy jar. After class, Mrs Morco would always give Alicia one candy. ¡°You did a great job today as well. That¡¯s all for today¡¯s class.¡± ¡°Are you giving me candy again today?¡± ¡°It¡¯s a sweet bribe and a reward.¡± Mrs Morco used small tongs to pull out the candy from the glass jar. The candy, made by the chef of Morco¡¯s mansion, was sweet, sour and delicious. At some point, she got used to the taste, and now she would naturally drool at the sight of the candy. ¡°A bribe?¡± ¡°Effort is not visible, so it is easy to be disappointed, but the sweetness that spreads in your mouth is something you can quickly feel.¡± Mrs Morco smiled and handed Alicia the candy. When she placed the candy in her mouth, the sweetness quickly spread out. ¡°That¡¯s right.¡± ¡°Whenever you find it hard to learn, remember the sweetness of this moment. Even if you have a difficult time, if you eventually get your hands on what you want, it will be sweeter than the candy from today.¡± What she wanted. Alicia savoured the sweetness that melted at the tip of her tongue and thought about the man who would be currently flipping through documents right now. Although she knew that it was not something she could accomplish with only hard work, she only wanted one thing. ¡°Oh, and as I mentioned beforehand, we are expecting a guest today.¡± ¡°Do I have to get fitted for my clothes again?¡± ¡°Clothes? No. The guest who will visit the lady today is not a seamstress but a painter.¡± ¡°A painter?¡± Alicia¡¯s eyes widened. ¡°Yes. He is also the most famous budding painter in Schwarhan recently. Somehow, there must have been a slight miscommunication when I delivered the message.¡± [T/N: a budding painter is someone who has just started to succeed in art.] ¡°A painter is coming to see me?¡± ¡°I heard you wanted a new painting of your own, didn¡¯t you?¡± At that moment, Alicia¡¯s body hardened. There was only one picture she had. ¡°I haven¡¯t actually seen it in person yet, but I heard that the painter is good at painting portraits.¡± As the story of the portrait came out, she became even more convinced. Alicia clenched her fist, recalling Cabellenus. After returning to Schwarhan, he was really busy. He worked day and night to make up for his long absence. It was hard to eat together often, and she could barely see his face at night. But, a painter. Alicia was even more choked with emotion because she had never thought about it before. [T/N: To feel ¡°choked (with emotion)¡± means to be unable to talk clearly because you are feeling a strong sense of emotion.] ¡°Because he is a new painter, you may think he is not reliable, but don¡¯t worry too much because I am certain of his skills.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s very difficult to paint a portrait. Everyone¡¯s eyes are different, especially the subject of the portrait who wants to look better. But if they beautify them too much, it becomes unpleasant because the painting won¡¯t resemble them. Nevertheless, I heard that everyone who entrusted their painting to that painter were all very happy.¡± Mrs Morco, who misunderstood Alicia¡¯s expression, hastily praised the painter. However, Alicia, who was so absorbed in her thoughts, did not pay attention to the story. ¡°If you are uncomfortable with it, should I just dismiss him?¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± ¡°If the lady doesn¡¯t like the painter¨C¡± ¡°No!¡± Alicia, who came to her senses, urgently shouted. Then, she quickly swallowed her saliva and immediately went on. ¡°No! It¡¯s definitely not dissatisfaction!¡± She already knew that she could not compare her picture with the painter¡¯s pictures. She had heard that a painting drawn by a skilled painter would look alive. She did not want to miss the opportunity to see her mother again. ¡°You don¡¯t have to speak so fast. I won¡¯t do anything that my lady doesn¡¯t want me to do, so please relax.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°No. You don¡¯t have to apologise to me. You only have to give a command. Bring the painter. Like that.¡± Although Mrs Morco seemed friendly, the distinction between the superior and the subordinate was clear. Alicia looked at Mrs Morco, who was waiting for her orders and swallowed dryly. ¡°Bring me the painter. And, my drawing, too.¡± ¡°Yes, my lady.¡± Mrs Morco grinned and then called for Shizuna and Shirin. And, soon after, a young man with a briefcase entered the room. ¡°Hello, I¡¯m the painter, James Nixon.¡± The silver-haired man was courteous toward Alicia. And for a moment, silence lingered in the room. He was such a beautiful man that she was mesmerised. Even though his hair was tied monotonously together, and his shirt had worn-out sleeves with no signs of decorations, she could not think of anything other than saying that the beautiful face was flawless and perfect. As she looked at him, she even wondered if she was dreaming. ¡°Nice to meet you.¡± Alicia smiled at James. Unlike the others, she was the only one who saw James and reacted. ¡°It¡¯s an honour to meet you too. If you don¡¯t mind, may I call you, my lady?¡± It was not until James put the briefcase on the floor, did Mrs Morco and the maids come to their senses. Everyone quickly managed their facial expression, but their ears were slightly red. ¡°Yes, sir. That¡¯s what everyone calls me, so you can call me that too.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°What¡¯s the matter?¡± ¡°My lady, he¡¯s not a noble.¡± Mrs Morco whispered in a voice small enough to be heard only by Alicia. ¡°Then what should I call you¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You can just call by my first or last name. And, you don¡¯t need to use honorifics.¡± ¡°Ah, yes. Okay, no. I see.¡± After Alicia took a firm hold of her mind, she looked at James again. Then, she carefully opened her lips with a tense face. Up till now, she had only met Cabellenus¡¯s people, and James was not. She could not help but be cautious. Chapter 34 - He Did Not Want To TL: Kay (kkrivulet) ¡°James.¡± ¡°Yes, my lady.¡± Fortunately, she addressed him correctly this time. Alicia breathed a sigh of relief and quickly revealed her purpose. ¡°I heard that you¡¯re going to paint a new picture for me, but can you paint a portrait without actually seeing the subject?¡± ¡°Each painter has a different style, so it may be different from what you actually saw, but it is possible.¡± ¡°Then, even if there¡¯s a rough sketch?¡± Alicia pulled out a picture from the box the maid had brought and carefully presented it to James. Alicia had no choice but to describe the level of the drawing as a shabby picture. ¡°If anyone is available to explain the appearance of the person in the portrait, it is possible. It¡¯s mainly because this sketch has no colour. Without an explanation, it will not be possible to paint it in colour.¡± ¡°I can explain.¡± ¡°My lady?¡± ¡°Actually, this is my mother.¡± A smile naturally spread on Alicia¡¯s face. ¡°Oh, I see. No wonder I thought the lady looked so much like you.¡± James smiled at Alicia, who looked at him with eyes full of expectation. ¡°Do we look alike?¡± ¡°Yes, so if you can help me as a model, I think I can work with ease.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll help with anything I can. As long as the painting can be completed, anything will be fine.¡± Alicia nodded hastily unknowingly and sneaked a glance at Mrs Morco. Not surprisingly, Mrs Morco¡¯s expression was not very good. Alicia hurriedly suppressed her excitement and tried to smile elegantly. Alicia had endured dozens of cramps in her mouth in order to complete a smile that looked elegant with only the corners of her mouth slightly raised. ¡°My lady, you don¡¯t have to overdo it.¡± Of course, apart from her efforts, she had not yet crossed the strict line of Mrs Morco. Alicia felt a tinge of regret at the voice of Mrs Morco whispering quietly in her ear, relaxed her mouth and blinked reflexively at the gaze she encountered. Silver eyes reminiscent of glass beads were looking at her. ¡°¡­¡­Is there something on my face?¡± ¡°It¡¯s because you are beautiful.¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± She was so embarrassed that the honorific word popped out without her knowledge. Alicia furrowed her brows. ¡°You don¡¯t have to compliment me.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not an empty compliment.¡± [T/N: An ¡°empty compliment¡± is a compliment that is fake or without meaning.] James laughed one more time. But again, he failed to gain Alicia¡¯s trust. The man who was beautiful enough to make her believe that the story of a fairy who lived in the woods was real was comparable to most beautiful women. Hearing such a beautiful man¡¯s words made her think that he was only trying to be polite. ¡°This picture was drawn by the lady, isn¡¯t that right?¡± ¡°¡­¡­How did you know that?¡± ¡°Because the picture contains the heart of the person who drew it. You must have missed her a lot.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Were such emotions visible in the eyes of a professional? Alicia looked at the old portrait and pursed her lips. She felt naked in the gaze that seemed to know everything. ¡°You don¡¯t have to worry too much. It¡¯s not that difficult to paint because it¡¯s well-characterized, and the lady said that she¡¯d even serve as a model.¡± ¡°But?¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t you try to paint it yourself?¡± ¡°By myself?¡± Alicia¡¯s eyes widened like a rabbit. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°If you like, I can paint it, but you¡¯ll be much better at painting this picture.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve never learned how to paint before¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve never learned anything, but if you can do this, it¡¯s enough as you¡¯re not without talent.¡± ¡°But I¡¯ve never thought about such a thing¡­¡­.¡± At the sudden offer, Alicia reflexively looked at Mrs Morco. ¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯ll be bad if my lady is okay with it. Art is also one of the qualities of a lady.¡± Alicia thought she would say no, but Mrs Morco¡¯s reaction was positive. Alicia looked at James, feeling more bewildered. ¡°If you feel uncomfortable, you can refuse.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°However, paintings should be painted by people who really want to draw. Even if it might take more time, I¡¯m sure that it will be a beautiful painting.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alicia wiggled her fingers as she looked at James¡¯s beautiful smile. For Alicia, painting was a means to not forget. At the very least, it was an effort to remember her mother more. Even when she received the offer to learn to paint, she was in a daze as if she had heard ridiculous news. Nevertheless, she did not want to say no. Alicia swallowed dry saliva and clenched her fists. * * * ¡°What brings you here?¡± ¡¸It¡¯s because I¡¯ve been sending you letter correspondences, but disappointingly, my brother hasn¡¯t contacted me once.¡¹ Gerpenus crossed his arms as he spoke spitefully. Even though he was prepared to communicate at any time, his indifferent younger brother always made him contact him first. ¡°I¡¯ve already heard that the envoys are coming, and we¡¯re smoothly making preparations accordingly, so you don¡¯t have to worry about it.¡± ¡¸Even if you know what the purpose of the envoys are, you are so calm.¡¹ ¡°Whatever meaning it contains, if I don¡¯t feel it, it¡¯s only meaningless.¡± ¡¸Judging from the way you¡¯re speaking, it seems that you still have the same ridiculous thoughts. My little brother is not cute at all.¡¹ Gerpenus held his chin and clicked his tongue. He didn¡¯t think that Cabellenus would change in a short time, but he thought there might have been a slight chance, but the stubborn brother didn¡¯t even show any signs of it. Cabellenus was sincere. For Gerpenus, who had watched his younger brother for a long time, the point was so clear that it became more difficult. ¡°That¡¯s a story that does not require further discussion. I¡¯ve already made my decision, and I have no intention of reversing it.¡± ¡¸That may be the case, but if you say it like that, I can¡¯t help it.¡¹ Gerpenus shook his head at his brother, who he could not communicate to. There was something wrong with their veins ¨C the Blanche lineage had always been stubborn for generations. Even with great effort, it was difficult to break the resolve. ¡¸I was informed that the envoys have departed. They should arrive in Schwarhan as early as next week, or at the latest, the week after.¡¹ ¡°I will do my best to serve them.¡± It was clear that the line was drawn as Cabellenus answered with a dull expression. [T/N: To ¡®draw the line¡¯ means to put a limit on what you will do or allow to happen. I.e. to set boundaries.] Gerpenus clicked his tongue and leaned his torso against the chair. ¡¸And, among the envoys, there will be a young lady who I consider as suitable to accompany you. As per our bet.¡¹ ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡¸Her name is Veloa Christie. She is the youngest princess of the Christie Kingdom. She¡¯s not a princess of a ruined country whose name can¡¯t even be found anymore, but a princess of a real kingdom who lacks nothing. Besides, she¡¯s a great beauty. In many ways, she¡¯s on a different dimension from the slave woman who has nothing to see.¡¹ ¡°I don¡¯t like vulgar expressions.¡± Cabellenus slightly frowned. ¡¸I¡¯m confused whether the reason you¡¯re offended is just because I used vulgar expressions or because I looked down on her.¡¹ ¡°¡­¡­.¡° ¡¸I think they¡¯re both the same. Besides, I think the latter makes me look worse.¡¹ ¡°¡­¡­.¡° ¡¸Ahhh. In that case, you should learn to hide your emotions more reliably. If you continuously put on airs like that, you might offend me. That woman¡¯s existence will end up getting on my nerves.¡¹ [T/N: To ¡®put on airs¡¯ means to act in a way that shows one thinks one is better than other people.] Gerpenus spoke in an amused voice, but his eyes, visible through his curved eyes, weren¡¯t smiling at all. ¡¸I believe in you. You¡¯re still rational, so you will be able to think enough to determine what is the correct judgment.¡¹ ¡°Is that why you chose the Kingdom of Christie?¡± ¡¸Yes. It was a decision I made because I thought you would understand the benefits for Schwarhan to be in a relationship with the Kingdom of Christie.¡¹ A slight smile spread on Gerpenus¡¯s lips. He was confident that he knew his younger brother better than anyone else. If a remnant of rationality still remained in Cabellenus, he would not refuse Gerpenus¡¯s offer. ¡¸I wish it were just a matter that could be solved with a beautiful or high-ranking woman, but you are not that kind of guy. If you were fascinated by such things, you would have fallen in love with a woman a long time ago.¡¹ ¡°¡­¡­.¡° ¡¸The woman I chose is the one who has what you want. She¡¯s the one who Schwarhan needs the most. Well, even if I don¡¯t say this, you know this better than anyone else.¡¹ ¡°That¡¯s my choice.¡± ¡¸The choice is yours, but I can give you an option.¡¹ Gerpenus cunningly raised the corners of his mouth. Marriage was another matter, but this was a matter of putting Cabellenus¡¯s life on the line. [T/N: To put (one¡¯s) life on the line means to put oneself in harm¡¯s way to achieve something.] For this matter, Gerpenus had no intention of behaving like a generous older brother. ¡¸You have a strong sense of responsibility. For those who you regard as your own people, you will try to protect them no matter what. Your people follow you like a god because, after all, they know you¡¯re that kind of person.¡¹ ¡°¡­¡­.¡° ¡¸Can you really miss this opportunity that I¡¯m offering you? ¡¹ Luckily, the discovery of the spirit stones prolonged the lifespan, but Schwarhan¡¯s endemic problems remained. To solve the problem, Cabellenus had to make a choice, and Gerpenus knew it better than anyone else. It would be all okay if he chose to abandon the land of death, but Cabellenus wasn¡¯t such a person. Gerpenus had always disliked that trait, but now he was grateful for it. People with a lot of things to protect had a lot of gaps. ¡¸Oh, let the heat cool down for a while and think carefully. Feelings last once, while profits last forever. If you choose that woman, there is nothing you will gain.¡¹ ¡°It¡¯s not a decision that is made to gain a benefit.¡± ¡¸In that case, we need to reconsider it more. A marriage where nothing¡¯s gained is just a stupid choice for a nobleman.¡¹ ¡°¡­¡­.¡° ¡¸Have an ordinary marriage. Brother. Don¡¯t get caught up in a moment of emotion and dirty your veins.¡¹ Gerpenus stared straight at Cabellenus with an unsmiling face. The half-brother, who was born with flawless veins, did not know how great it was. It was the virtue of elders to awaken the reality to such a brother. ¡°What is an ordinary marriage?¡± ¡¸It is a marriage of ordinary nobles who exchange a reasonable price with a woman who has reasonable conditions.¡¹ ¡°¡­¡­.¡° ¡¸If you really like her, keep her by your side. I won¡¯t stop you from doing that. My younger brother is not an insignificant guy where having a lover would destroy his authority. I can close my eyes as much as I can.¡¹ ¡°I didn¡¯t know Your Majesty would say that.¡± ¡¸I can do it.¡¹ Gerpenus nodded nonchalantly. It wasn¡¯t that he didn¡¯t sympathise with the life of his mother, who lived as the emperor¡¯s lover, but rather, it was because he was the emperor. When it came to choices, it was right to make decisions based on reason, not emotion. ¡°I will not live the same life as His Majesty the Emperor.¡± ¡¸You are still stuck in the past.¡¹ ¡°Isn¡¯t that the same with you?¡± ¡¸¡­¡­.¡¹ It was easy to get married and take Alicia as a lover. But in the end, that would mean he would be going down the same path as his father. Cabellenus remembered his mother, who swallowed tears alone in the room without anyone knowing. As long as he remembered her look, he couldn¡¯t do such a thing. That was the least respect Cabellenus could do for his mother. ¡°No matter how much you say that, it¡¯s useless. Your Majesty has already made a bet with me, and I have no intention of losing. Everything is only a matter of time.¡± ¡¸It¡¯s only a matter of time?¡¹ Gerpenus exhaled roughly. ¡°Schwarhan¡¯s duchess has already been decided, and nothing shall change. That¡¯s the only thing I can tell you.¡± Cabellenus kept a calm expression without avoiding Gerpenus¡¯s gaze. Gerpenus said that if he met the women Gerpenus had chosen for a year and remained unshaken by them, Gerpenus would accept his marriage with Alicia. The young emperor was adept at weighing values. And he knew exactly what kind of wife Cabellenus needed. The marriage arranged by Gerpenus was definitely not a losing deal. It was the best offer that a brother who knew Cabellenus well could think of, and it would have been enough for the old Cabellenus. In the past, Cabellenus believed that marriage was possible as long as the necessary conditions were satisfied. If one marriage could solve Schwarhan¡¯s long-standing problems, it was definitely a good deal. But he did not want to. Cabellenus could no longer let go of Alicia. The rustling warmth in his arms was now so natural that he could not imagine it disappearing. ¡¸Didn¡¯t I tell you? The same is true for me. I have no intentions of losing, either.¡¹ At all costs. Gerpenus laughed leisurely, concealing his innermost thoughts. He knew his brother well, but he still did not know to what extent his younger brother would go. Chapter 35 - He Was A Beautiful Man TL: Kay (kkrivulet) ¡°I heard the painter came to see you today. What did you think? Did you like it? I heard from Gazeff that the painter is particularly well-known for portraits.¡± ¡°Yes. He¡¯s a very skilled person. But¡­¡­.¡± ¡°But?¡± ¡°I made a mistake.¡± Alicia¡¯s shoulders drooped. ¡°A mistake? What mistake?¡± ¡°I received a suggestion about learning to paint and painting myself, and I accepted it.¡± ¡°That¡¯s what you meant by ¡®mistake¡¯.¡± Cabellenus replied lightly. ¡°I shouldn¡¯t have done it without Your Grace¡¯s permission. It wasn¡¯t my own decision to make.¡± This was why it was dangerous to enjoy good things. If you become a little careless, your greed would rush out, and you would make mistakes. Alicia gave a slight sigh and grimaced. Cabellenus stood in front of her, clicking his tongue at the deflated looking Alicia. ¡°I don¡¯t mind you approving that much. Don¡¯t make the face of a sinner.¡± ¡°But¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You¡¯re going to do a bigger job, but if you¡¯re afraid already from doing that much, it¡¯s going to be difficult.¡± ¡°A bigger job?¡± Alicia raised her head and looked up at Cabellenus. ¡°Yeah. It¡¯s a very big thing.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s hand wrapped Alicia¡¯s shoulder. ¡°I¡¯ll do anything.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t know what I¡¯m going to make you do .¡± ¡°I can do anything for Your Grace.¡± Alicia¡¯s thin hand gripped the back of Cabellenus¡¯s hand. It was sincere. She was not simply saying it. Alicia really would do anything for Cabellenus. ¡°Hearing you say that makes me happy.¡± A smile spread over Cabellenus¡¯s mouth. Alicia returned his smile and blushed. ¡°I didn¡¯t assign Mrs Morco to you for no reason. If there is a problem, she will take care of it, so don¡¯t worry about it alone and focus on making yourself comfortable.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s thumb gently stroked Alicia¡¯s eyes. Alicia focused on the tip of his fingertips with her eyes slightly closed. The slow sweeping motion felt like a consolation to soothe her. ¡°Besides, it will be noisy for a while, so it will be much better if you have something to focus on.¡± ¡°It will be noisy? Why?¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to worry about it. It¡¯s a problem that will be over in no time.¡± Cabellenus briefly kissed Alicia on the forehead. Alicia accepted Cabellenus¡¯s gesture and leaned against his chest. She liked the pounding of the heart along with the warmth felt through the thin cloth. She knew it was ridiculous, but at that moment, she wished for time to stop. * * * ¡°You have talent.¡± At James¡¯s compliment, Alicia blushed and looked at the canvas. The portrait of her mother, which she and James had drawn sequentially, was close to completion. Once all the paint dried and they added another coat, it would really be over. ¡°It would have been impossible without James¡¯s help.¡± She didn¡¯t want to cry, but when she saw her mother smiling in the portrait, her voice became hoarse without her knowledge. In the painting, her mother, embellished with a beautiful dress and jewels, looked like an elegant lady, not a monster that everyone had pointed at. That fact made it difficult for her to hold back the laughter of joy. ¡°I¡¯m only helping now, but later, you¡¯ll be able to paint well enough on your own.¡± ¡°But, I don¡¯t have the confidence to do it alone¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to think too hard. Not only portraits but landscapes and still lifes paintings are fine. You only have to paint something you like. It¡¯s a record, after all.¡± ¡°Record?¡± Alicia tilted her head. ¡°Even if a person dies, the painting remains. And, it makes the moment that you captured on the canvas last forever. That¡¯s why I like painting. I think painting is a part of the mind that¡¯s recorded forever.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°The more you draw, the better your skills will be. So don¡¯t feel too much pressure and draw anything you like. The most beautiful paintings in the world, after all, contain the heart. That¡¯s what I believe.¡± James pulled out a sketchbook from the briefcase he brought. He then suddenly handed the sketchbook to Alicia. ¡°This is a sketchbook that I carry as a spare.¡± ¡°Sketchbook?¡± ¡°Whenever I think of something or want to draw something, I simply sketch and record it. I¡¯ll give you one too, so fill it up. I¡¯m sure it will help a lot.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± James laughed at Alicia¡¯s smile. ¡°Today¡¯s class is over.¡± Mrs Morco, who noticed the strange atmosphere between the two, quickly intervened. She already knew that Alicia liked Cabellenus, but it was just in case. The young painter was so beautiful that even the experienced Mrs Morco¡¯s heart pounded for no reason. It would not be strange if Alicia, who was in her prime, would be shaken as well. ¡°I don¡¯t know why every class ends so early.¡± Alicia showed her regrets without filtering and drooped her shoulders. She liked learning. Everything was strange yet fasincating, and it excited her. Every time she tasted a new world, the sensations that she had forgotten came to life. It made it clear that she was really alive. ¡°If you are feeling disappointed, would you like to learn more?¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± ¡°If the lady doesn¡¯t mind, I can give you more time and teach you how to sketch.¡± ¡°Can I do that?¡± Alicia¡¯s eyes sparkled like a child, and James¡¯s smile deepened. Ever since he received a firm order to come here, he had been curious and afraid about how great the person was. However, he encountered a woman with bright eyes, and James did not hate the innocent young lady who tried her best to learn anything. Instead, it was close to a good feeling. She was quite different from other nobles. ¡°I believe there are countless things to draw in the world. The way you look at it and when you think you need to draw something will definitely bring about different perspectives. You may not know what to sketch, so I¡¯ll instruct you for today.¡± ¡°Then I won¡¯t refuse.¡± Alicia nodded shyly. It was now quite familiar for her to judge and make decisions for herself. * * * ¡°Are you very cold?¡± James looked at Alicia with anxious eyes. The woman, who was trembling despite being tightly wrapped with a thick coat, seemed pitiful. ¡°No. It¡¯s bearable.¡± Alicia shook her head with a pale face. A lot of time had passed, but she had not got used to the bitter cold. Nevertheless, Alicia tried to straighten her back rather than shrink from the cold. The Schwarhan people she had met so far were not affected by the cold. So Alicia hoped that she would get used to Schwarhan¡¯s cold as soon as possible. Things that were different stood out, but at the same time, it also meant that they did not belong anywhere. Alicia did not want to remain a stranger anymore. ¡°You must be sensitive to the cold.¡± ¡°I came from a place where there was no winter. Actually, this is the first time I¡¯ve seen snow.¡± Her frozen breath turned white. Alicia stopped sketching and looked up at the sky. The memories of Neinstein were still vivid, but it was difficult to determine which direction Neinstein was. ¡°If there¡¯s no winter, are you from the south?¡± ¡°Yes. That¡¯s right.¡± ¡°You must miss your hometown.¡± ¡°Miss¡­¡­.¡± Alicia stared at her white breath while in a daze. The cold here was so brutal that the people who survived were considered impressive. Compared to Neinstein¡¯s climate, which was warm throughout the four seasons, Schwarhan¡¯s cold weather brought to mind what Mrs Morco said about the land being abandoned by God. Nevertheless, Alicia liked this frozen land. The chilling cold was painful, but it made her feel alive again. ¡°It¡¯s because my hometown is a place that I forget and remember. You might miss it someday.¡± ¡°Do you really think so?¡± As Alicia spouted a meaningless reply, she avoided James¡¯s gaze and moved her hand that had stopped. She didn¡¯t want to go into a deep conversation about what her hometown meant to her. ¡°That¡¯s why I came back here.¡± ¡°Is James from another region, too?¡± ¡°I was born here, but I actually lived in the capital longer than Schwarhan.¡± ¡°If it¡¯s the capital of Blanche, is it Alogurst?¡± Since she spent most of her time reading books, her knowledge was increasing day by day. Alicia tilted her head as she recalled the glamorous painting of the capital she saw in the book. ¡°Yes. After studying painting there, I went from place to place and returned to Schwarhan. I was curious about the wider world.¡± ¡°You must have travelled for a long time.¡± Alicia¡¯s face was filled with curiosity. James¡¯s smile grew a little deeper. ¡°If it weren¡¯t for the grilled salmon, I would have been wandering around the world right now.¡± ¡°Grilled salmon?¡± ¡°It¡¯s a dish of freshly caught salmon with only salt, and it is grilled whole. It¡¯s simple but surprisingly a delicacy. Especially when I eat grilled salmon, I like to eat it as a whole. My face and hands will be all covered with soot with oil flowing through it. It has to be eaten in this manner to feel like I¡¯m eating it properly.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t it surprising?¡± James nodded lightly as if he knew everything. He was well aware of what others thought of him. ¡°People only see what they want to see and think accordingly. However, that¡¯s just a subjective impression. You can¡¯t really get to know that person properly. It¡¯s a bad habit. But those who paint need that subjectivity.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t just have to be honest with what you see. If that happens, everyone will end up painting the same picture.¡± James pointed to Alicia¡¯s sketch with his hand. Alicia wasn¡¯t bad from the start. That was why her ability improved significantly just by learning the basics properly. However, her sketches were static. It was very different from when she had painted the portrait of her mother. ¡°Drawings have no format. Be more comfortable and draw what you want to draw.¡± ¡°If it¡¯s something I want to draw¡­¡­.¡± Reflexively, Alicia clenched her hands. In fact, there was one more person she wanted to draw besides her mother. ¡°Alicia.¡± For a moment, she heard a low voice. Alicia blinked slowly. At first, she thought she heard wrong, but it wasn¡¯t an illusion. Cabellenus was right behind her. ¡°Your Grace.¡± Alicia quickly turned around to greet Cabellenus. After recognising his presence, a smile spread naturally all over her face. ¡°What the hell are you doing out here? Isn¡¯t it cold?¡± Cabellenus naturally pulled Alicia to his side. He didn¡¯t know how long she had stayed outside, but Alicia¡¯s body was very cold. Cabellenus touched Alicia¡¯s hand, which was frozen like ice and clicked his tongue briefly. He was worried that she might catch a cold because she was already so weak. ¡°I¡¯m in class.¡± ¡°I thought today¡¯s class was over.¡± Alicia¡¯s class hours had already passed. It wasn¡¯t class time now. Because he knew the fact better than anyone else, Cabellenus was annoyed by the scene he saw through the window. He had to endure it but eventually stopped what he was doing and walked all the way here. Cabellenus laughed briefly, recalling the documents piled up like a mountain in the Oval Office. Schwarhan had not received a distinguished guest in a long time. Due to the urgent focus on survival alone, the party culture had declined a lot compared with the capital. It was unavoidable to be busy due to his absence, but he also had to deal with the envoys that would soon arrive. ¡°It¡¯s an extended class. When I felt disappointed that class was over, James kindly offered to give me extra classes.¡± It was unusual to see Cabellenus at this hour. Alicia chattered like a child who had received a surprise gift. However, contrary to her excitement, Cabellenus only narrowed his eyebrows slightly. ¡°James?¡± ¡°Oh, Your Grace hasn¡¯t met James?¡± Again, it was James. Cabellenus furrowed his eyebrows significantly more than before, but Alicia was unaware of the fact. ¡°¡­¡­Is he the painter?¡± ¡°Yes, James Nixon. He¡¯s the teacher who teaches me painting.¡± Following Alicia, who turned her head towards James, Cabellenus¡¯s head also moved. He was a new painter who had lived abroad for a long time and had no personal connections in Schwarhan. But it had not been long since he came to Schwarhan, and he was already a rising talent who quickly drew attention. In the first place, Cabellenus had little interest in art, so he only chose a painter based on the conditions his subordinates had arranged. Cabellenus, himself, had never actually met James. After hearing such an old-fashioned name which was rarely used anymore, he assumed that it was someone old. But in reality, James was much younger than Cabellenus thought. And, most of all, he was a beautiful man, too. Cabellenus, who realised the fact belatedly, narrowed his eyes. Chapter 36 - Say My Name ¡°Good evening, Your Grace. My name is James Nixon.¡± James quickly showed courtesy towards Cabellenus. ¡°Okay.¡± Cabellenus greeted him with a slight nod. In the meantime, Cabellenus wrapped his hands around Alicia¡¯s shoulder. ¡°If you¡¯re going to have more classes, do it indoors.¡± ¡°¨C As you can see, Alicia gets cold easily.¡± Cabellenus added a comment and clicked his tongue. Even he, himself, believed it was a clumsy attempt to show off. The sensitive man instinctively looked at the other man with a guarded and alert gaze rather than act with reason. ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡± ¡°Anyway, all of Schwarhan¡¯s scenery is the same everywhere. Just go inside and do it.¡± As if measuring Alicia¡¯s body temperature, the back of Cabellenus¡¯s hand touched her cheek. He allowed the painting classes to keep Alicia from getting bored, not to make it difficult for her. ¡°It was frustrating to stay indoors, so I suggested it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Somehow his heart felt cold at the words that she had felt frustrated. Cabellenus slightly tightened his grip on Alicia¡¯s shoulders. ¡°And, I can¡¯t shiver in the cold forever. I have to get used to it.¡± Like the average Schwarhan people. Alicia swallowed back her words and laughed. She did not want to tell Cabellenus that she had not got used to Schwarhan yet. ¡°You don¡¯t have to get used to it.¡± ¡°But I think I¡¯ve become more used to it since I¡¯ve been outside for some time.¡± ¡°You¡¯re not used to it. You¡¯re frozen.¡± Unable to stand by and watch, Cabellenus took off his coat and put it on Alicia. Due to their height difference, the end of the coat dragged on the floor. However, Cabellenus did not care and wrapped the coat more tightly around her. Alicia, who became buried in his clothes, blinked her eyes in bewilderment. ¡°Much better.¡± Unlike Alicia, who was embarrassed, Cabellenus satisfactorily raised the corner of his mouth. ¡°Then Your Grace will be cold.¡± Alicia hurriedly tried to remove the coat but was soon stopped by Cabellenus. ¡°Choose only one of the two. Will you go indoors, or will you wear it?¡± The firm gaze of the man had no intention of backing down. Eventually, Alicia gave up and turned to James. ¡°If you don¡¯t mind, may we go back indoors and proceed with the class?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°James?¡± ¡°Oh, of course.¡± James smiled at Alicia. But the smile did not last long. After Alicia and Cabellenus turned around, James stopped smiling. He just watched the two people get further and further away. * * * ¡°Is this a finished painting? You drew it well. You seem to have a talent for this.¡± ¡°Actually, James drew most of it, so I didn¡¯t do much.¡± ¡°¡­¡­again, James.¡± Cabellenus muttered to himself in a small voice at the name that popped up whenever he forgot about it. It was just a name. It was not wrong since a name existed for the sake of being called. That was what he thought in his mind, but not his feelings. ¡°Pardon? What did you just say?¡± Alicia tilted her head, unaware of the circumstances. Cabellenus took Alicia¡¯s hand and gently kissed the tender spot inside her wrist. Alicia¡¯s cheeks glowed slightly red. ¡°The painting classes seem fun.¡± ¡°Actually, I have something to talk to you about.¡± ¡°What is it?¡± ¡°My mother¡¯s portrait is complete, so the classes with James are over.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Cabellenus twisted his head to the side. It occurred to him that he was behaving pretty childishly, but he could not help it. It was unpleasant. The name of another man coming out of her small lips. ¡°James teaches me really well. He¡¯s friendly, and he knows a lot, so¡­¡­.¡± ¡°So?¡± Alicia¡¯s focus was noticeably shaken by Cabellenus¡¯s glaring gaze. But even though she had a very nervous face, she did not stop her lips. Cabellenus quietly waited for her story without haste. ¡°I want to keep taking classes from James.¡± ¡°¨C Of course, as long as Your Grace allows it.¡± Alicia added shortly afterward in a barely audible voice. However, it sounded clear to Cabellenus¡¯s ears. ¡°¡­¡­Can¡¯t I?¡± At Cabellenus¡¯s silence, Alicia bit her lower lip nervously. Instead of answering, Cabellenus pressed Alicia¡¯s lips with his thumb. ¡°Don¡¯t bite.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to be nervous.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Because I¡¯m in a pretty good mood right now.¡± Alicia¡¯s eyes flickered slowly. It was not an illusion. The corners of Cabellenus¡¯s mouth were clearly drawn in a crescent shape. ¡°It¡¯s good to have something you want.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a good thing?¡± ¡°It means that you have become greedy, and you will eventually have more desires.¡± A person who wanted a lot and had many things could not leave with ease. Cabellenus¡¯s fingers gently brushed Alicia¡¯s cheek. ¡°If there¡¯s anything you want, you can tell me. I¡¯ll do whatever I can.¡± ¡°¡­¡­You don¡¯t know how far my greed is, and yet you say that.¡± A short breath leaked out from Alicia¡¯s teeth. ¡°Hearing those words, I¡¯m looking forward to how far your greed reaches.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Anything is fine. Keep asking me constantly. I¡¯m a man who can do more than you think.¡± The man, with a haughty smile, was full of confidence. ¡°I was kidding. This is enough for me.¡± ¡°We¡¯ll have to wait and see. Human greed is endless.¡± ¡°Excessive greed will only bring disaster.¡± As time went by, Alicia became clear about what she wanted. But it was excessive. The emotions she embraced were something she could never speak of. ¡°That¡¯s strange.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s fingertips slowly descended and swept Alicia¡¯s chin. ¡°What?¡± Alicia gave strength to both fists. It would have been easier to calm her mind if it had been a cold gaze, but the generous attitude made it difficult for her. ¡°I like the rational and realistic way of thinking, but I don¡¯t like seeing you like that.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I wish you could relax a bit more.¡± His golden eyes with prominent pupils quickly examined Alicia¡¯s complexion. It was much better than before, but he still did not think she would fit perfectly in his embrace. ¡°If you want to continue the painting classes, you can continue.¡± But it was only a matter of time after all. Cabellenus nodded slowly. He was a hunter who knew how to wait and, at the same time, a hunting dog that would not let go of its prey. Cabellenus had never thought that he could not get what he wanted. ¡°Can I do that?¡± ¡°Yes. Instead, there is one condition.¡± ¡°Condition?¡± Alicia barely managed to swallow the breath she had held back. ¡°James. I want you to stop saying that man¡¯s name.¡± ¡°James?¡± Alicia¡¯s lips slightly opened at the unexpected condition. ¡°I don¡¯t like the idea of another man¡¯s name coming out of your mouth.¡± The heat in Alicia¡¯s face rose even more at Cabellenus¡¯s answer. She felt it again, but this man never hesitated to express his feelings. She should not be pleased with that fact, but Alicia liked the man who looked at her in the eye and spoke. She wanted to ask why it upset him for her to say another man¡¯s name. But it was not supposed to be. No matter how obvious the emotions were, sometimes it was required to close your eyes and pretend that they were invisible. Alicia swallowed the question and nodded slowly. ¡°I won¡¯t do it if you don¡¯t want me to.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± ¡°I thought it would be enough if you didn¡¯t call his name anymore, but it wasn¡¯t.¡± Cabellenus frowned slightly. The thought of Alicia not calling James¡¯s name caused the displeasure to disappear to some extent. But that alone did not satisfy him. What he wanted was something a little different. ¡°¡­¡­name.¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± ¡°Say my name.¡± Cabellenus fixed his gaze directly onto Alicia. ¡°I-I, how can I say Your Grace¡¯s name¡­¡­¡± In a panic, Alicia clutched her hands. Looking at her chewing her lips as if she did not know what to say, Cabellenus was convinced that it was the answer he wanted. ¡°Cabellenus von Schwarhan Blanche.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Try to say it once.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s hand was strained. It was the first time that he knew that a mere name could make him feel so nervous. Most of the men born in the imperial family were addressed by their proper titles rather than their names. Additionally, the few people who were able to call his name had now almost disappeared, leaving only one family member, Gerpenus. For Cabellenus, his name was not great. ¡°Well, I¡­¡­.¡± Her face felt sore from his penetrating gaze. Alicia did not know what to do, so she averted her eyes and tried to avoid Cabellenus¡¯s gaze, but it was useless. She was already caught. ¡°You said it before.¡± ¡°When did I ever¡­¡­.¡± Suddenly, the moment came to mind, and Alicia struggled to speak and swallowed her saliva. It was only once, but there was a time when she had called the man¡¯s name. ¡°¡­¡­You were listening?¡± Alicia looked up at Cabellenus with a tearful face. ¡°Yeah.¡± Cabellenus touched the wrinkles around Alicia¡¯s eyes with his fingertips. ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°Why are you sorry?¡± ¡°Because I said a name that should not be called.¡± Alicia¡¯s voice trembled. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter because I allowed it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Because I thought it wasn¡¯t worse than anything. My name that you called.¡± Alicia swallowed her saliva reflexively. She wanted to keep pretending that she did not know, but it was impossible. She could not help not knowing it. She could clearly see what the man¡¯s gaze was saying. It was the eyes that saw a woman. The look Alicia longingly desired. Nevertheless, she frowned, not knowing whether to be happy or sad about it. She knew better than anyone because she always tried hard not to forget about reality. Her relationship with Cabellenus could not simply be about the feelings of love. He had too much, and on the contrary, Alicia had nothing. Conversely, it meant that Alicia had nothing to lose, while Cabellenus had a lot to lose. It was obvious what kind of choice Cabellenus would make. Cabellenus was a man who knew his place better than anyone else. As long as he was a noble, the greatest he could give Alicia would be the position as his lover. It was the most rational way to release his emotions without losing anything. ¡®As long as I can stay by your side, it doesn¡¯t matter¡­¡­.¡¯ It was an excessive desire to have more than now. Initially, Alicia had no intention of asking Cabellenus for much more. Honestly, if he wanted her to become his lover, he would have done so already. Whether it was the position as a slave or lover, there was no difference. Either way, she just wanted to be with him. But that was the story while Cabellenus remained unmarried. If he had a wife, Alicia would no longer be able to stand by him. In a noble marriage, even if no feelings existed, respect and obligation must exist between the couple. No matter how they concealed it, the existence of a lover was shameful for married people, and especially the idea of illegitimate children. Alicia did not want to become a blemish to Cabellenus. She did not want to ruin the perfect guy. ¡°¡­¡­as expected, I cannot say it.¡± ¡°Why?¡± If she said his name, it would feel like all the emotions she had barely pressed inside her would burst out. Alicia constantly mulled over her situation and secretly swallowed the answer she could not say. ¡°I don¡¯t want to call Your Grace by your name. It¡¯s not possible.¡± ¡°It can¡¯t be done?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s face was noticeably crumpled. ¡°I have not forgotten my identity.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t care about your status. You¡¯re¨C¡± It was then. At the sound of a sudden knock, Cabellenus could not finish his words, and he frowned instead. He instantly wanted to shout at the person to leave them alone, but he still had his rationality. Cabellenus tightly clenched his teeth and touched his forehead with a long sigh. ¡°Come in.¡± ¡°Your Grace, I¡¯m sorry to interrupt you. I have something to tell you.¡± Gazeff, who came inside, hurriedly paid his respect to Cabellenus. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± ¡°That¡¯s¡­¡­.¡± Gazeff¡¯s gaze turned to Alicia. ¡°I¡¯ll be out for a while. Go to bed first.¡± Cabellenus did not miss the brief moment and rose from his seat. There was only one topic that could not be mentioned in front of Alicia. Chapter 37 - Pride and Prejudice ¡°The delegation arrived earlier than I thought.¡± After checking his clothes reflected in the mirror, Cabellenus immediately walked away. ¡°They said they used a newly developed carriage.¡± Gazeff quickly followed his superior. Even though it was late at night, the inside of the castle was bright due to the sudden arrival of guests. ¡°Carriage?¡± ¡°The magic of the Kingdom of Christie is outstanding.¡± Gazeff spoke to that point and shut his mouth firmly. The emperor did not send the princess of the Kingdom of Christie for nothing. Schwarhan had spirit stones but lacked the skills to utilise them. If they had a relationship with the Kingdom of Christie, they could see a farther future. ¡°I guess the key is how we can coax them.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s eyes shone. Although Gerpenus¡¯s intention was obvious, there was no need to follow his brother¡¯s intention. It was a perfect opportunity to establish a relationship with the Kingdom of Christie. ¡°For now, I¡¯ve prepared the conditions that the Kingdom of Christie desired.¡± ¡°If that were going to work, the deal would have passed a long time ago.¡± ¡°It can¡¯t be helped. Magic is of paramount importance to the Kingdom of Christie. Unless it¡¯s a good deal, they won¡¯t accept it easily.¡± ¡°Besides, considering this situation, it¡¯s very likely that it¡¯s still the case.¡± The Kingdom of Christie had always rejected Schwarhan¡¯s offer. Therefore it was highly likely that they received a corresponding price to send an envoy to Schwarhan. ¡°As you may have thought, His Majesty recently revised the trade provisions of the Isla region. According to the revised clause, there will be considerable benefits to the Kingdom of Christie.¡± ¡°Since His Majesty is willing to give away the Isla region it seems like he is eager to make this marriage arrangement a success.¡± Cabellenus briefly clicked his tongue. ¡°If it happens, there will be nothing bad on both sides. With the technology of the Kingdom of Christie and Schwarhan¡¯s resources, the Blanche Empire will become a more powerful nation.¡± ¡°To become a strong nation. It¡¯s a subject that His Majesty will like.¡± ¡°His Majesty has always wanted to make the perfect Blanche.¡± ¡°¡®For me¡¯ it seems.¡± Cabellenus briefly scoffed. In the distance, he could see that the door to the drawing room was firmly closed. ¡°From this moment on, we¡¯ll have to pay more attention to Alicia¡¯s safety.¡± ¡°I asked my aunt to keep the lady¡¯s existence as hidden as possible. However, this is not a problem that¡¯s solvable by concealing her.¡± ¡°But that doesn¡¯t mean it¡¯s something that should be revealed on purpose. As long as you can hide it, it¡¯s better to hide it as much as possible.¡± Cabellenus said firmly. Even if they already knew about Alicia¡¯s existence, it was enough if they could not find anything. ¡°I will try to eliminate the factors that may cause problems as much as possible.¡± ¡°Instead, we have to ensure that Alicia does not notice anything until the end.¡± ¡°Wouldn¡¯t it be better if the lady knew?¡± ¡°No. Don¡¯t let her know. Even if she knows, that wouldn¡¯t solve the problem.¡± Alicia still had nightmares from time to time. Even if she seemed to sleep well, she would wake up once to see if Cabellenus was next to her, and then she would barely fall back to sleep. He did not want to make her anxious by troubling her with unnecessary issues. It was enough to sort it out as quickly as possible and return to her. Cabellenus took a step without hesitation. Gazeff quickly gestured to the guard in front of the drawing room so that Cabellenus could reach the room without needing to stop. ¡°Finally, I humbly meet the famous ruler of the north.¡± As soon as he entered the room, he heard a clear voice. Cabellenus reflexively turned his head in the direction of the sound. ¡°Nice to meet you. Your Grace, Grand Duke of Schwarhan. My name is Veloa Christie. I am the third princess of the Kingdom of Christie.¡± As soon as their eyes met, she immediately greeted him. ¡°Cabellenus von Schwarhan Blanche. The Grand Duke of Schwarhan.¡± Cabellenus skillfully responded to Veloa¡¯s greetings and quickly greeted the envoy who accompanied her to show his courtesy. ¡°It¡¯s the first time I¡¯ve seen Your Grace from this close.¡± Veloa smiled and combed her flowing hair behind her ear. Gazeff reflexively looked at Cabellenus¡¯s expression. When he heard that she was the most beautiful woman on the continent, he thought it was exaggerated rumours, but in reality, the princess was such a beauty that he thought the rumours had been reduced. However, contrary to Gazeff¡¯s concerns, Cabellenus did not seem impressed. ¡°You¡¯ve had a lot of trouble travelling such a long way. Did you have any inconvenience in coming here?¡± ¡°We were not used to the snow, so the arrival was delayed more than we expected, but thanks to that, we were able to get a different experimental result, so it was also a good thing.¡± ¡®And most of all, I got the opportunity to meet Your Grace.¡¯ Veloa looked up at Cabellenus with interest. The neat teeth gleamed white between the red lips, painted in a smooth line. ¡°Honestly, I was a little surprised. I thought there would be nothing because it was a snowy land, but this place is quite wonderful. As expected, it¡¯s a land ruled by the Emperor of Blanche.¡± ¡°I am the only one who rules Schwarhan.¡± ¡°Noble blood ties are everywhere. Such as Your Grace.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Did I speak too bluntly?¡± Veloa slightly raised her chin. She heard of Cabellenus¡¯s notoriety, but if she were concerned about it, she would not have joined as a member of the envoy in the first place. She knew her value well. As long as Cabellenus needed her, she did not have to lower herself. ¡°No. I don¡¯t like beating around the bush either.¡± [T/N: To ¡®beat around the bush¡¯ means to talk about lots of unimportant things because you want to avoid talking about what is really important.] ¡°Well, then I will talk to you more comfortably.¡± Veloa¡¯s smile widened. ¡°I came here on the premise of my engagement with Your Grace.¡± ¡°I think it¡¯s too early to talk about that.¡± ¡°Of course. No matter how good the conditions are, there is no reason to invest if the future is uncertain.¡± If you said it in a good way, it would be bold, and if you said it in a bad way, it would be rude. Gazeff studied Veloa¡¯s words and actions from behind Cabellenus¡¯s back and figured out what kind of person she was. Veloa was the central figure of the envoy. While considering the possibility of future negotiations, it was better to have a clear grasp of her. ¡°You¡¯re saying something interesting.¡± A light smile hung around Cabellenus¡¯s mouth. ¡°To be honest, I¡¯m here to test Your Grace.¡± Veloa moved her lips without missing the pause. ¡°Test?¡± ¡°His Majesty, the Emperor of Blanche said that you would be the ruler of the continent.¡± ¡°¡­¡­ I do not believe that story is appropriate to speak about here.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s gaze reached the envoys visible behind Veloa. They all looked awkward ¨C as if they had not expected Veloa¡¯s unexpected behaviour. ¡°It¡¯s not something I can speak of? The story that Your Grace will really be the ruler of the continent?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s eyes narrowed slightly, but Veloa did not notice it. Gazeff clicked his tongue at Veloa, who was oblivious to the atmosphere around her and had a confident expression. She was still too young. She was not at the level to sit at the negotiating table. It seemed that the emperor made a mistake because he was in a hurry to find a bride for Cabellenus. ¡°I won¡¯t like it if it¡¯s not the best. Unless Your Grace gives me the best, I don¡¯t want this engagement.¡± Gazeff stiffly looked at Veloa and adjusted the weights of his scale of boldness and rudeness to the latter. [T/N: Gazeff had a mental image of a set of scales in his mind as he evaluated whether Veloa was acting boldly or rudely.] If Veloa had been a skilled negotiator, she would not have thought of committing such discourtesy in the presence of Grand Duke of Schwarhan. The reason Cabellenus did not touch the Kingdom of Christie was not that they lacked the power. He just did not touch it. Gazeff was not confident enough to claim that it would have ended with a victory, but rather, it would be a massive loss to touch a stable country. But there was no need to remind Veloa of that fact. The flimsy attitude of the opponent was only an advantage. ¡°How are you going to test me?¡± Cabellenus responded calmly to Veloa¡¯s rhythm. ¡°I¡¯m going to stay in Schwarhan and think about it slowly.¡± Taking Cabellenus¡¯s response as a sign of favour, the corners of Veloa¡¯s mouth turned further upwards. Negotiations were only beginning. * * * ¡°I¡¯m happy to be able to continue teaching you, my lady.¡± ¡°Right. I¡¯m happy too.¡± Alicia grinned shyly. James returned her smile and brought out the briefcase that he had prepared. However, his mind was complicated. Alicia, who was under the protection of the Grand Duke, seemed far from ordinary. But that was not what bothered him. He knew better than anyone that there was nothing good about being caught up in the problems of the nobility. But even though he knew that, the fact that Alicia was Cabellenus¡¯s lover was quite shocking to him. Schwarhan¡¯s Grand Duke had always been at the centre of rumours, but regarding women¡¯s matters, there had been none. Due to this, some even speculated that the taste of the young Grand Duke was unusual. ¡®¡­¡­ As expected, are you his lover?¡¯ James¡¯s eyebrow narrowed slightly. Due to the nature of his profession, he had a good eye. At first, he thought he was just unfamiliar with Schwarhan¡¯s culture, but the longer James spent with Alicia, the more he felt convinced. She was not a noble. ¡®Of course, it¡¯s not a matter for me to worry about.¡¯ James tried to erase the clutter in his head, but he could not help but feel sorry for her. If a man of power secretly locked up in a woman in a separate palace, it was clear what the ending would be. The nobles did not treat commoners as the same people. Right now, the man gave her good things, but it was clear that this was the life that Alicia could only enjoy in moderation and until the man lost interest in her. The unloved lover would then be thoroughly thrown away. In the first place, lovers existed but were not recognised. It was easy to call someone a lover. However, the imperial law only recognised only one husband and wife as a couple and did not recognise the existence of a lover. ¡°Did you do your homework and try to draw some of the pictures?¡± James kept a smile on his lips, trying to conceal his innermost thoughts. Even if Alicia was Cabellenus¡¯s real lover, it was James¡¯s position to interfere. He was only here to teach Alicia to paint. ¡°I did try to draw something, but I¡¯m a little embarrassed¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s just a picture. You don¡¯t have to be embarrassed.¡± At James¡¯s gentle smile, Alicia hesitated for a while, then carefully handed him the sketchbook. It was the sketchbook that James had previously given her. ¡°It¡¯s the Grand Duke.¡± James breathed out after checking the drawings in the sketchbook. ¡°That¡¯s right. His Grace.¡± Alicia looked at the sketchbook with a smile on her mouth. James stared at Alicia. Looking at her face, he could not help but notice her feelings. The sparkling eyes. The reddish blush. And the natural smile. It seemed that at the mere mention of Cabellenus, a face filled with excitement that belonged to a person who was in love would emerge. He could not erase the thought that the fact bothered him and was pitiful. But Alicia, who did not know about James¡¯s thoughts, only fluttered her fingers and laughed shyly. ¡°You said it before. To draw what I want to draw.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°As expected, it¡¯s lacking too much?¡± Alicia, who misunderstood the silence, asked cautiously. In the eyes of the innocent women, James¡¯s hand reflexively tensed. That woman did not know anything. How many commoners the aristocrats had played with like toys. The good clothes she wore, the expensive accessories, the great hospitality ¨C nothing was hers. ¡°Are my skills too poor?¡± ¡°¡­¡­No. You drew it well. The characteristics feel alive.¡± ¡°Really?¡± It felt there a heavy stone was in his heart. James flipped through the sketchbook, trying not to infer about Alicia¡¯s situation any further. But that was a mistake. Despite the short period, the stacks of sketches that had accumulated contained Alicia¡¯s feelings ¨C which only made him feel uncomfortable. Eventually, James could not bear it and closed the sketchbook. ¡°I think it would be a good idea to move it onto a canvas and draw it properly.¡± ¡°No. I won¡¯t.¡± Alicia hurriedly shook her head from side to side. ¡°Do you feel burdened to draw properly?¡± ¡°No. No, it¡¯s because I want to practice more.¡± Alicia strengthened her gaze. ¡°What kind of practice?¡± ¡°I want to draw it properly and give it as a present. This time, I do not want to borrow someone else¡¯s hand. Instead, I want to do it myself. Completely.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Of course, it will take a while to do that. But wouldn¡¯t it be okay if I practice hard?¡± Even though she received so much from Cabellenus, she did not give him anything in return. There was nothing much she could do for him, but she could paint his portrait with her own hands. Even if she could not reveal her thoughts, it would be okay to present a painting as a gift. Alicia smiled, her heart pounding. Chapter 38 - If I’m The Only One ¡°Is it true that there is a slave in the castle?¡± ¡°Of course. Will the Emperor of Blanche lie to me? Look for it again. I¡¯m sure they¡¯re hiding like a rat somewhere.¡± Veloa nervously tapped the table. Her escort awkwardly looked at her with a troubled expression. Even after coming to Schwarhan, the condescending princess had not changed at all. Instead, she became sensitive to the restricted radius of action and often lost her temper. ¡°But, given the fact that we can¡¯t find it no matter how hard we look, the Grand Duke may have taken the first step¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If you say that one more time, I will tell everything to my father.¡± Veloa growled irritably and knitted her brows. [T/N: to ¡°knit your brow/brows¡± means to frown because you are thinking carefully, angry or worried.] Had it been her immediate maids she had direct authority over back in her home country, they would have been diligently trying to please her with their tongues. However, the escort assigned by her father, the king, was useless in that respect. ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯ll look for it again.¡± ¡°It¡¯ll come out eventually. In any case, don¡¯t make me say it twice.¡± Veloa openly clicked her tongue and snorted. At first, the endless snowfield felt quite romantic, and she liked the magnificent castle, but now everything was boring. There were no parties in Schwarhan. No matter how gorgeous a dress or the amount of jewelled accessories she was adorned with, there was nowhere to flaunt it. Had Cabellenus not been a handsome man, she would have left this ridiculously lacking land. ¡°But what are you going to do after finding the slave?¡± ¡°Of course, I have to show my virtue as the future Grand Duchess.¡± Veloa puffed out her chest and raised her chin like an elegant lady. [T/N: ¡°Puff out your chest¡± is a signal that one is dominant and virile and for a part of the universal expression of pride.] ¡°The Grand Duchess? But, when you met the Grand Duke, it was clear¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Of course, it was just talk.¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± ¡°Easy girls are boring, aren¡¯t they?¡± Veloa nodded her head as if she was right. Whenever she blinked, long, voluminous eyelashes fluttered like a butterfly¡¯s wings. ¡°Nevertheless, the opponent is Schwarhan¡¯s wolf. If you accidentally offend him¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I think the notoriety is an exaggeration.¡± ¡°An exaggeration? No way.¡± Cabellenus did not only have a vicious rumour. He had countless achievements to support the rumour. The notoriety of Schwarhan¡¯s wolf could not be easily dismissed. Of course, Veloa ¨C who was ignorant of war ¨C did not know this. ¡°No. It must be an exaggeration. Isn¡¯t it strange to do something like that with such a beautiful face?¡± Veloa was calm and relaxed as she touched the ring on her hand. She was ignorant of what she lacked and had no intentions to know. War and politics were all just unrealistic stories. She always liked beautiful things, like all the nobles her age did, and she did not want to think about anything complicated. Even if she did not become involved in complicated issues, she knew better than anyone that there were so many things to enjoy in the world. ¡°The wolf of Schwarhan is beautiful?¡± ¡°He¡¯s the best-looking man I¡¯ve ever seen. He¡¯s tall and in good shape.¡± In truth, she did not expect much, but Schwarhan¡¯s wolf, whom she heard only through rumours, was a man with an unexpectedly beautiful appearance. It was not comparable to herself, but she would not feel ashamed to stand together. ¡°It would have been better if it weren¡¯t for his dirty taste.¡± Of all the women, he chose a slave. Veloa clicked her tongue. It was a pity that they had the same noble lineage. ¡°Princess, are you seriously planning to marry the Grand Duke of Schwarhan?¡± ¡°Of course I should. I¡¯m not an idiot, and I¡¯m not going to miss my chance of a lifetime because of a vulgar slave.¡± ¡°You said this place is boring.¡± ¡°Even if it¡¯s boring, I have to endure it for the future.¡± Veloa clicked her fingers with an arrogant smile. She had no intention of staying only as the Grand Duchess of a frozen land. What Veloa wanted was more than that. ¡°With just one marriage, I can become the ruler of that huge Blanche, but of course, it¡¯s a profitable business, isn¡¯t it?¡± [T/N: Not sure if this comes across clearly, but pretty much, Veloa¡¯s believes that by marrying Cabellenus (who currently rules over Schwarhan), she¡¯ll not only become the Grand Duchess of Schwarhan but eventually rise and become the Empress of Blanche once Cabellenus takes his ¡®rightful¡¯ place as the Emperor of Blanche. (This was also implied in the previous chapter when she was speaking to Cabellenus). Her greed is real¡­!] No matter how much love she received from her father and the people of the kingdom, the order of succession to the throne did not change. The next king of the Kingdom of Christie had already been decided. In the end, she was destined to lay at the bottom. But Veloa hated that. She always wanted to be noticed more than anyone else, and she liked it when everyone looked up to her. The position of Cabellenus¡¯s wife was an excellent position to achieve that goal. However, there was a slave ignorant of their own identity and coveting the position of the Grand Duchess. ¡°Stop talking nonsense and try to find the slave as soon as possible. It¡¯s better to get rid of the annoying things as quickly as possible.¡± ¡°But is it okay to touch the slave?¡± ¡°Is it okay? Are you really asking that?¡± Veloa chuckled as if she heard something funny. ¡°A slave is an object. No matter how much he cherishes it, he can¡¯t get mad at me because of such a thing. Even if I touched it, the Grand Duke can¡¯t say a word to me, can he?¡± ¡°But I¡¯m a little worried since it¡¯s been hidden so carefully.¡± ¡°Doesn¡¯t that only show how much he wanted to hide it from me? The Grand Duke, too, must consider the slave as a disgrace.¡± Would he want to make a woman who he considered as a disgrace the Grand Duchess? The escort thought that, but he did not dare to bring it up. He knew that pretty face was no different from a colourful poisonous mushroom. King Christie was always generous to Princess Veloa. Regardless of whether it was true or not, it was not good to offend her. ¡°I am Veloa. Veloa Christi. Do you think there¡¯s a man who would reject me? It¡¯s ridiculous to compare me to that vulgar slave in the first place.¡± ¡°But¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If you have time to talk nonsense, go out and look for signs of the slave or organise something interesting. I¡¯m trapped in a land where we have parties only twice a year, and I¡¯m already dying of pain.¡± ¡°Well, how about calling for a seamstress?¡± ¡°It¡¯s obvious what the level of clothes is like here in the countryside. There¡¯s no point fitting for a dress.¡± Veloa scowled at the escort with a stiff look. The escort stuttered with a scarlet face. ¡°Then, a jeweller or¡­¡­.¡± ¡°There¡¯s no party, so why would I buy jewellery? Veloa clicked her tongue as if she was dumbfounded. ¡°If so, should I call you an entertainer?¡± ¡°You want me to watch someone playing with a thousand things?¡± She hated this, and she hated that. The escort shed a cold sweat as Veloa fiercely raised her brows and growled. ¡°Oh, come on. I don¡¯t like it. You cannot match my mood at all.¡± ¡°Or, why don¡¯t you tell the Grand Duke you want to throw a simple party?¡± ¡°Party?¡± ¡°If it¡¯s simple¨C¡± ¡°I don¡¯t like simple things. If it¡¯s for me, it¡¯ll have to be magnificent.¡± Veloa pondered for a while with her chin propped and soon smiled. ¡°Get a pen and paper right now.¡± ¡°Paper?¡± ¡°I¡¯m going to test how far the Grand Duke will go for me.¡± Veloa gave a haughty nod and grabbed the pen the escort brought. * * * ¡°Please hold a party. That¡¯s the princess¡¯s idea.¡± ¡°It must be difficult to adapt to Schwarhan¡¯s culture since she¡¯s always enjoyed parties in her home country. Of course, even taking that into account, this is a rather unreasonable demand.¡± Gazeff gently waved the piece of paper bearing Veloa¡¯s requirements written on it. ¡°Does the Kingdom of Christie always hold parties like this?¡± Cabellenus laughed as if the idea was absurd. ¡°No way. It¡¯s ridiculous. Even if the Kingdom of Christie is a powerful nation, if you hold a party like this every time, the treasury would be empty.¡± They were already well-informed about the financial condition of the Kingdom of Christie. It was practically impossible to hold a grand celebration every time to meet Veloa¡¯s demands. ¡°Then?¡± ¡°She¡¯s clearly looking down on Schwarhan. She¡¯s confident that she¡¯s the one in control of the marriage.¡± ¡°That¡¯s a quick judgement.¡± Cabellenus briefly clicked his tongue. ¡°Maybe it¡¯s because she lacks nothing.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°According to my intel, it is said that King Christie spoils Princess Veloa. She can do whatever she wants, and even if she commits a crime, he lets it silently pass by.¡± ¡°Crime?¡± ¡°It is said that she killed a teacher who she was not pleased with.¡± Gazeff deeply sighed as he recalled the princess filled with endless arrogance. No matter how optimistic he tried to be, he did not think she was suitable to be Schwarhan¡¯s Grand Duchess. ¡°Killed?¡± ¡°She secretly hid a diamond necklace in the teacher¡¯s bag and framed the teacher. It was an expensive item that the princess received as a birthday gift, so even though it was theft, the teacher was sentenced to death.¡± ¡°It was a thoughtless action.¡± ¡°She did it when she was 13 years old, so I wouldn¡¯t describe it as a thoughtless action. However, the problem is that there was no punishment for the princess for committing such a thing. Most people don¡¯t know it was actually done by the princess.¡± Gazeff laughed bitterly. While claiming that the princess committed the crime without knowing anything, she killed countless people even after driving her teacher to death. And, that did not change much until recently. ¡°He must have a special love for his child.¡± ¡°She¡¯s said to be special since she resembles the dead queen that the king cherished the most.¡± ¡°Special things can become poison.¡± A memory suddenly flashed in his mind. Cabellenus remained silent for a while with his mouth closed. He thought he had forgotten all about it, but there were times when he remembered that day. ¡°So, what should I do about this party?¡± ¡°Well¡­¡­. Gazeff, what kind of person did Princess Christie look like to you?¡± ¡°She didn¡¯t seem that great. At first glance, she looked young and inexperienced. And, that¡¯s not much different from what we¡¯ve investigated.¡± ¡°Really?¡± Cabellenus tilted his head slightly. ¡°Yes. So, I don¡¯t think it¡¯s a bad idea to attempt to negotiate in a moderately amicable manner. Seeing Princess Veloa, it¡¯s not going to be much different from coaxing a child. The problem may be easier to solve than I thought.¡± Gazeff quickly nodded. In the first place, what was important was not Veloa¡¯s personality but how to use her. Having confirmed that the opponent was clumsy, it would be much easier next time. ¡°Is that so?¡± Cabellenus muttered as he touched his chin. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Gazeff tilted his head. ¡°As you said, Princess Christie is certainly clumsy. But, why was it her?¡± ¡°Well, wasn¡¯t it because His Majesty was searching for your partner in a hurry? Anyway, Princess Christie is famous for being the most beautiful woman on the continent.¡± Gazeff nodded lightly. He didn¡¯t really like Veloa, who behaved like a stupid foal in front of Cabellenus. But he couldn¡¯t deny that she was a tremendous beauty. Although somewhat young, Veloa was the most beautiful woman Gazeff had ever seen. ¡°The emperor that I know wouldn¡¯t make such a mistake.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t think it¡¯s a mistake?¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t there another unmarried princess from the Kingdom of Christie?¡± ¡°Yes, right before Princess Veloa, there¡¯s the second princess who is also unmarried. I heard that her beauty is no match for Princess Veloa.¡± Cabellenus tapped the tip of his chin with his index finger, with his eyes slightly lowered. No matter how much he thought about it, it was strange. ¡°His Majesty already knows that beauty is not important. Furthermore, it is natural for His Majesty to prefer to side with the second princess, who has a slightly higher succession right.¡± ¡°It¡¯s possible that Princess Veloa was purposely selected.¡± ¡°It¡¯s very likely.¡± The Gerpenus that Cabellenus knew would pretend it was a mistake rather than make a mistake. There must have been a plot behind presenting a clumsy princess. ¡°Then, why Princess Veloa?¡± ¡°It¡¯s one of the two. Either she¡¯s acting on purpose, or she¡¯s someone worth using.¡± ¡°It didn¡¯t look like she was acting.¡± Gazeff frowned slightly. ¡°You don¡¯t know that.¡± ¡°Do you think Princess Veloa was acting?¡± ¡°No.¡± Cabellenus briefly answered as he leaned his upper body against the chair. Honestly, even in his eyes, Veloa did not seem to be acting. However, behind her was no one else but Gerpenus. It should not be taken lightly. ¡°Nevertheless, it¡¯s not good to make a hasty conclusion.¡± ¡°So¡­¡­.¡± ¡°For now, let¡¯s listen to everything the princess wants. I will try to coax her in a moderately amicable manner. Instead, don¡¯t be sure of anything. Don¡¯t miss any chances, and don¡¯t take your eyes off her.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s eyes shone sharply. He was born as a silent predator, after all. Chapter 39 ¡°Are you tired?¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I keep falling asleep lately.¡± Alicia smiled awkwardly. ¡°If you¡¯re tired, shall we conclude today¡¯s class here?¡± ¡°Can we do that?¡± ¡°Excessive teaching doesn¡¯t necessarily mean you will improve your skills quickly. Sometimes you need a day like this.¡± James looked at Alicia with a friendly gaze. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but that¡¯s probably a good idea.¡± Alicia hesitated for a moment and soon nodded her head, placing down the pen she was holding. She wanted to endure it, but it was hard to resist the rush of drowsiness she had been experiencing lately. ¡°Your class ended earlier than usual today.¡± Mrs Morco, who had been watching the class from a distance, approached her. ¡°I¡¯m a little tired.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve been getting a lot of sleep lately.¡± Mrs Morco smiled gracefully and gestured to the maids standing behind her. The maids skillfully arranged the drawing tools and set up refreshments on the table. ¡°I guess it¡¯s because I¡¯m relaxed.¡± ¡°You¡¯re getting used to Schwarhan.¡± Mrs Morco placed the prepared teapot set in front of Alicia. Now Alicia was like any other lady and was able to make tea for her guests. ¡°It¡¯s Melga.¡± James laughed lightly at the subtle scent of the tea. ¡°You must be familiar with teas.¡± ¡°While I wandered around, I naturally heard of a range of things.¡± ¡°So, you said you travelled a lot, right?¡± ¡°Yes, I have been to many places.¡± ¡°That¡¯s great.¡± Alicia handed the cup of freshly brewed tea to James. At first glance, the porcelain teacup with delicate patterns was a luxury item. James looked at the steaming teacup for a moment and then slowly raised his head. Unlike the first time they met, Alicia, who savoured the tea flavour, now looked quite like an aristocrat. ¡°If you have a chance, you should travel to various places too. All the things you have experienced will become the foundations of your painting.¡± ¡°Travel¡­¡­.¡± ¡°The world is wider and more diverse than you think, so there are many things to see. It will certainly help you a lot.¡± He said this before, but somehow, the more he spoke, the faster his voice became. James eventually stopped talking and took a sip of tea. It was not a bitter tea, but somehow an astringent taste lingered in his mouth. ¡°Whenever I read a book, I always wonder. It¡¯s a strange feeling that there are so many things I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°Is that so?¡± ¡°But, I like it here.¡± Alicia lowered her eyes slightly while clasping her fingers. James stroked the handle of the teacup anxiously. There was only one person in Schwarhan who did not know that the princess of the Kingdom of Christie was staying in the castle. Even though Cabellenus organised a fancy party for the princess that did not suit Schwarhan, Alicia knew nothing about the rumours spreading that the princess would become Cabellenus¡¯s fianc¨¦e and, eventually, the Grand Duchess of Schwarhan. She just shyly smiled while practising Cabellenus¡¯s portrait every day. That fact gnawed at James. The story of a commoner woman who gave up her entire life thinking the entertainment of a nobleman was love. James knew the ending of such a common and obvious story better than anyone else. ¡°¡­¡­Do you like your life right now?¡± ¡°Yes. I do.¡± It was an answer without hesitation. James touched his throat unconsciously. The action naturally caught Alicia¡¯s attention. ¡°Come to think of it, you¡¯re always wearing that necklace.¡± It wasn¡¯t until James met Alicia¡¯s curious eyes that he finally came to his senses. ¡°¡­¡­It¡¯s a keepsake.¡± ¡°A keepsake? Oh¡­.. I¡¯m sorry. I apologise if I said something I shouldn¡¯t have said. You don¡¯t have to tell me anything. I didn¡¯t mean to make you uncomfortable.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay. It¡¯s all in the past.¡± A soft leather strap hung around his fingertips. James slowly lowered his hand along the string. He stroked the traces of the pendant bulging under his clothes. ¡°It must have been a precious person.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t say it¡¯s exactly the same emotion, but I¡¯ve lost someone too. I know how sad it is to lose someone.¡± Alicia struggled to smile and wiggled her fingers, and at the same time, James¡¯s eyes narrowed. It had not completely changed. Alicia still had her old habits. James was pleased with that fact. Even though he clearly knew it was none of his business. ¡°¡­¡­It belonged to my sister.¡± Perhaps, that was why he brought up a story that he did not have to tell. James hesitated for a moment and then took off the necklace he had hidden under his clothes. ¡°Sister?¡± ¡°I had a sister who was older than me.¡± James mumbled in a low voice as he twisted the pendant. Then, as the pendant opened, she saw a miniature portrait painted inside. ¡°She¡¯s beautiful. Very much so.¡± Alicia smiled lightly. Instead of smiling with her, James took a short deep breath. ¡°She was a beautiful person as a flower.¡± ¡°My lady.¡± Mrs Morco intervened in a hurry, but James¡¯s gaze was pinned directly on Alicia. Alicia swallowed her saliva reflexively. Her hands hidden under the table trembled slightly. ¡°Don¡¯t overdo it. It¡¯s better to stop today¡¯s class.¡± Mrs Morco briefly glanced at James. Only then did James advert his gaze and hide the pendant in his hand. Although he knew that he was hasty with his emotions, he did not regret it. As soon as the thoughts that had been floating in his mind became words and he spat it out, he became convinced. He could not turn a blind eye to Alicia. She was different from his sister. She still had a chance. * * * ¡°She was a beautiful person as a flower.¡° Alicia slowly closed her eyes. She pretended not to know, but in fact, she actually knew. ¡°Flower¡± was a common term referring to the lovers of the nobility. James considered Alicia as Cabellenus¡¯s lover. Alicia eventually covered her face with both hands. Even though she had already prepared herself, her heart sank the instant she met the gaze of someone who regarded her as a lover. In the eyes of others, she appeared to be Cabellenus¡¯s hidden lover. But that was all. She couldn¡¯t do anything even though she felt like something was falling apart inside her. ¡®Because I know it¡¯s not wrong.¡¯ Alicia clenched her hands. Her heart throbbed just at the thought of the gaze from a moment ago, but it did not matter. She could bear it. As long as she could be next to Cabellenus, she could endure this much. ¡°My lady. His Grace says he¡¯ll be late today. He said you should eat first.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°My lady?¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I was thinking about something else for a while. What did you say?¡± Alicia, as she learned before, gave a ladylike smile. Perhaps, thanks to practising in front of a mirror in her spare time, her smile was now very natural. ¡°His Grace said you should eat first since he¡¯ll be late.¡± ¡°He¡¯s going to be late again today?¡± ¡°It¡¯s because he¡¯s a busy person.¡± ¡°That¡¯s true.¡± Alicia¡¯s head fell helplessly. When she came to Schwarhan, she thought she would be with Cabellenus all the time. But he was busier than she thought, especially recently. Naturally, the meals they had together were now often skipped, and it became rare to see each other¡¯s faces. However, there was nothing Alicia could do but wait. As most lovers did. Alicia¡¯s shoulders slumped powerlessly. ¡°Are you disappointed?¡± ¡°I have no right to be disappointed.¡± ¡°It is fine for my lady to feel disappointed with this situation.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to disturb His Grace by saying unnecessary things.¡± In case Mrs Morco said anything else to Cabellenus, Alicia hastily shook her head. Mrs Morco grinned as if Alicia was cute. ¡°It seems you rather like it. You want to see more of His Grace.¡± ¡°I¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Although it¡¯s good to distinguish between public and private life, there¡¯s no need to be so strict with young couples.¡± Mrs Morco comforted Alicia affectionately by patting her shoulder. However, Alicia¡¯s drooping shoulders did not rise again. ¡°I, too, know that the position given to you is heavy. The lady is still young, that¡¯s why. But you¡¯re not His Grace¡¯s subordinate. I don¡¯t think you need to be too cautious.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not His Grace¡¯s subordinate?¡± ¡°You¡¯re the only one who will stand shoulder to shoulder with His Grace.¡± ¡°There must be some misunderstanding. I¡¯m just¡­¡­.¡± Maybe she didn¡¯t hear that Alicia was a slave. Alicia couldn¡¯t bring herself to finish her words and pressed her lips together. Although Schwarhan was said to have no slaves, the concept of slavery was not unknown. Alicia feared what Mrs Morco would look like when she realised that the lady she served was actually a slave. ¡°I told you. I already know everything.¡± Mrs Morco knelt before Alicia. Alicia gulped down dry saliva. ¡°The day my lady came to the castle, His Grace spoke to me directly.¡± The lady was going to become the Grand Duchess of Schwarhan. Mrs Morco¡¯s hand gently stroked the back of Alicia¡¯s hand. Alicia¡¯s focus wavered. Alicia could not understand what Mrs Morco was saying. But Mrs Morco was sincere. ¡°¡­¡­His Grace really said that?¡± Alicia¡¯s voice trembled. She had never once thought of herself standing proudly beside Cabellenus. Alicia, who was a coward, did not hope for the impossible. She knew that instead of flimsy hope, giving up was a way to reduce the pain. As a result, Alicia¡¯s situation right now was even more alarming. ¡°No way. By any chance, did he not say anything to the lady?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Oh, dear.¡± She thought he was doing pretty well for a man who didn¡¯t know much about women, but it seemed that she was mistaken. Mrs Morco briefly clicked her tongue. She did not need to ask any more. Alicia¡¯s reddish eyes confirmed what she had been thinking. It was obvious that they had shared the same bedroom without a promise of marriage. ¡°His Grace is at fault.¡± ¡°His Grace didn¡¯t do anything wrong.¡± ¡°It is true that His Grace is at fault. Marriage is not something you do alone. It is wrong to say nothing to the person concerned.¡± ¡°But¡­¡­.¡± ¡°My lady. Please look at me.¡± Mrs Morco stared straight at Alicia. ¡°I¡¯m not speaking as your maid of honour. I¡¯m speaking as an adult and your teacher who has experienced more of the world.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°His Grace wishes to take you as his wife, but that¡¯s His Grace¡¯s will, not yours.¡± ¡°But, I¡­¡­.¡± ¡°There are no slaves in Schwarhan.¡± Mrs Morco smiled as if she knew everything. Alicia, who was speechless, bit her lips anxiously. She was still looking straight at Alicia. ¡°I¡¯ll ask you again. Do you want to marry His Grace like this? Is that what you really want?¡± Mrs Morco followed Alicia with an affectionate but unwavering gaze. Alicia wiggled her fingers for a long time before she eventually parted her lips. ¡°Of course. I want to stay by His Grace¡¯s side. But¡­¡­.¡± Could she do that? Alicia¡¯s eyes shook. She could not bring herself to speak because she knew it was not a simple matter. ¡°What are you so afraid of?¡± ¡°¡­¡­..Because I could ruin His Grace.¡± ¡°Is that all?¡± Instead of answering, Alicia nodded. Her throat felt tight, so she couldn¡¯t speak any more. ¡°If that¡¯s the case, that¡¯s a relief.¡± She had been worried because the order was wrong, but it was fortunate that the two of them did not seem to mind. Mrs Morco caressed the corner of Alicia¡¯s eyes, feeling relieved inside. She was a delicate and timid lady who didn¡¯t match with Schwarhan. At first, she was worried about whether the lady could survive well here with such a skinny body, but it was also true that she was looking forward to it. The lady looked very intimidated but sometimes managed to look quite tough. She thought that if she took good care of her, the lady would grow to be more persevering. ¡°I know what you¡¯re worried about. His Grace is a special person, and the seat next to him is not a light position. But, I will do what I have to do.¡± Mrs Morco smiled confidently and propped up Alicia¡¯s hand as if she was holding something precious. ¡°It¡¯s my duty to support the lady, so please do what you want to do. That¡¯s all. The people of Schwarhan have been warriors for generations. The Grand Duchess of Schwarhan is no different.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not a warrior.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to carry a weapon to be a warrior. Anyone who fights for what they want is a warrior.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Do you think I can do it?¡± Alicia¡¯s eyes trembled anxiously. ¡°That depends on what my lady decides to do. My lady hasn¡¯t done anything yet.¡± Give it a try, whatever it is. The corners of Mrs Morco¡¯s mouth went up. Alicia had never disappointed Mrs Morco before. Even if she gave her a difficult task on purpose, the lady eventually solved them all. It was not because Alicia was a genius of the century. She was no different from the average person and was inexperienced because she didn¡¯t learn much when she was younger. Nevertheless, Alicia was able to complete Mrs Morco¡¯s assignments because of her persistence. Even if Alicia repeatedly wrote the same text dozens of times, she made what she learned once into her own. Mrs Morco liked the persistence. Because the more a person was like that, the better they could protect what was theirs. Chapter 40 - To Be Called Parents ¡°How do you like the party?¡± ¡°Well, I think it¡¯s pretty good, but¡­¡­.¡± Veloa looked at the ballroom with an indifferent gaze, but the corners of her lip, covered by a fan, were raised. She did not express it, but the party was more satisfying than she expected. Even the dazzling chandeliers, the bustling guests, and the man escorting her. All of it. ¡°Please tell me if anything is lacking.¡± ¡°Will it make any difference if I tell you?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t make the same mistakes twice.¡± ¡°I like it a little.¡± Veloa¡¯s smile grew thicker. This confirmed it. The young Grand Duke of the North was richer than she thought. And, he was trying to please her. Veloa liked that fact very much. What her father¡¯s favour taught her was that it was fun to have someone under her. If it was an influential person whom others looked up to and envied, all the more. ¡°Honestly, I don¡¯t believe all the rumours about Your Grace.¡± ¡°What kind of rumours are you talking about?¡± ¡°The rumours that Your Grace is a blood-crazy monster.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°No, to be honest, would it be right to say that it doesn¡¯t matter?¡± Veloa lowered the fan slightly. She knew that her eyes glistening under the light were brighter and more beautiful than the sapphire necklace around her neck. It was easy to seduce a man whose aesthetic requirement was low enough to fall into slavery. ¡°What makes you believe in me to say that?¡± ¡°Honestly, when I heard the story that you transformed the poor land that no one else could change, I was not impressed. It was a story that could be easily exaggerated. Especially since the spirit stone is expensive and many people want it.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not wrong. All the wealth that Schwarhan enjoys right now comes from the spirit stone.¡± ¡°Wealth can come to anyone. However, how to use it is a different matter.¡± Veloa fluttered the fan leisurely. Blanche¡¯s next emperor. That alone was enough to make Cabellenus a man of good conditions, but it was human nature to hope for more than that. It could not have been worse if you had the ability, but not the bloodline. ¡°I was honestly disappointed when I arrived in Schwarhan. The land of the Grand Dukes of Schwarhan, which was said to enjoy great wealth, only had a huge castle, and there was nothing to see. It made me wonder if Your Grace¡¯s wealth was really expanding.¡± ¡°That¡¯s what rumours are all about.¡± ¡°Rather, aren¡¯t the rumours downscaled?¡± Veloa¡¯s eyes were curved smoothly. ¡°Why do you think so?¡± ¡°Schwarhan is a place where the party culture is poor. Even my request was abrupt. And yet, Your Grace emulated a plausible party without any issues. Then, isn¡¯t the next thing obvious?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Wealth is power. It¡¯s natural to want to show off. But, Your Grace didn¡¯t. In that case, it¡¯s usually one of the two.¡± Either you have no desire for power, or you¡¯re up to something. Veloa chuckled. ¡°I like ambitious people. If you have to look up, isn¡¯t it better to stand in that position?¡± ¡°You speak of interesting things.¡± ¡°I can tell you more interesting stories. Of course, only once my relationship with Your Grace becomes clearer.¡± Even though her eyes were slightly open, Veloa was as beautiful as a piece of art. It was natural that everyone¡¯s eyes were focused on one place after Veloa appeared in the ballroom. Veloa looked up at Cabellenus, satisfied with the gazes that stuck to her. ¡°Is Your Grace a good dancer?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not very good at it.¡± ¡°Can you still dance with me?¡± Veloa¡¯s fingertips grazed the inside of Cabellenus¡¯s wrist slightly. She could not touch him directly since she was wearing gloves, but that did not mean he was not uncomfortable. Cabellenus closed his mouth and looked down at Veloa, who was much smaller than him. The princess of the foreign country was brimming with confidence and could not conceal the arrogance in her eyes. ¡®I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re planning.¡¯ Cabellenus narrowed his brow slightly. He had been observing Veloa for a couple of days, but his assessment of her did not change much. The heart of the princess, who was intoxicated with her own appearance, seemed too obvious. However, it wasn¡¯t possible to label her as a young princess as there were many suspicious things about her. ¡°Are you going to embarrass me and reject my gesture?¡± ¡°No, let¡¯s dance one song together.¡± Nevertheless, Cabellenus took Veloa¡¯s hand that stretched out towards him. Whatever his half-brother had in mind, it would be enough if he could gain his own interests. For a moment, the man¡¯s eyes flashed like the eyes of a beast shining in the dark. Veloa misunderstood that Cabellenus had complied with her request, but the opposite was true. Cabellenus had only held the party for himself, not for Veloa. Until Alicia¡¯s position was secured and stable, she would serve as a shield to attract people¡¯s attention. * * * ¡°Are you all right?¡± ¡°It felt like I had returned to the capital after a long time.¡± As soon as Cabellenus returned to the Oval Office, he took off his gloves and threw them straight into the trash can. The touch filled with desire was enough to conjure up unwanted memories. ¡°I¡¯ll instruct them to prepare you a bath.¡± ¡°Did you find more information after the further investigation?¡± The act was not over until they understood Gerpenus¡¯s true intentions. Cabellenus was forced to endure the scent of perfume that lingered on him and swept up his hair. ¡°I checked the communication mirror in Princess Veloa¡¯s belongings.¡± ¡°Magic tools are a specialty of the Kingdom of Christie, so a communication mirror wouldn¡¯t be strange.¡± ¡°The design is different compared to the communication mirror of the Kingdom of Christie. It was a communication mirror made in the Empire.¡± ¡°It seems they might still be in touch.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s brow narrowed. ¡°So I planted some people by her side, but there were no significant results.¡± ¡°Was there a magical tool that blocks sound?¡± ¡°That¡¯s highly likely. Considering that I even deliberately chose a room with thin walls, and yet we couldn¡¯t hear anything, it wouldn¡¯t make any sense for this to be possible without the intervention of magical tools.¡± ¡°It¡¯s unexpectedly thorough in that respect.¡± Cabellenus clicked his tongue. ¡°I believe His Majesty instructed it.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not necessary to hide the communication mirror that shows that she¡¯s communicating with His Majesty.¡± ¡°Maybe it¡¯s just to instigate suspicion.¡± ¡°Suspicion?¡± ¡°Just as Your Grace knows His Majesty well, so does His Majesty. Perhaps, His Majesty¡¯s plan is shallower than you think.¡± Gazeff muttered as he held his chin. The Gerpenus who he encountered was a cunning snake-like man. He was a reliable ally but an opponent more troublesome than anyone else. ¡°The opposite could also be true. He could have made a deeper plan knowing that we¡¯d think that way.¡± ¡°It¡¯s complicated.¡± Gazeff¡¯s smooth forehead was wrinkled. ¡°Since he¡¯s the opponent, he won¡¯t be easy to catch.¡± Cabellenus responded flatly. ¡°Huu, first, I¡¯ll dig a little further into the Kingdom of Christie. The king particularly shielded the princess, so there¡¯s little information, but for now, we have no choice but set our expectations there.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll try to dig into the princess a little more.¡± ¡°I¡¯d appreciate that if you could¡­¡­.¡± Gazeff was about to nod his head but paused when a particular face came to mind. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± ¡°That¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Speak.¡± Gazeff¡¯s neck stung from the sharp gaze. His superior was currently on edge. If he made a mistake and provoked him, he might set off a spark. [T/N: The ¡°spark¡± plays on the idiom ¡°spark something off¡± which is a figurative saying for causing/starting something violent.] ¡°¡­¡­I was wondering if the lady will be okay.¡± ¡°You mean Alicia?¡± The sharp gaze grew even more intense. Gazeff barely managed to exhale and gave an awkward laugh. He had been with Cabellenus for a long time, but whenever his superior gave him that look, he always felt a chill. ¡°I know I might be overstepping the boundaries, but I heard something from my aunt.¡± ¡°What did you hear?¡± ¡°I heard she seemed gloomy.¡± ¡°Gloomy?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s voice dropped even lower. ¡°Because Your Grace hasn¡¯t been looking for her lately. But, if she found out that Your Grace is close to Princess Veloa, from her point of view¡­¡­.¡± ¡°To say I didn¡¯t look for her¡­¡­. I went to see her face yesterday.¡± Cabellenus nodded with his arms folded. The Schwarhan Castle had many secret passages. With the passages, he could visit Alicia as much as he wanted and avoid the eyes around him. ¡°It seems my lady wasn¡¯t aware of your visit.¡± ¡°She¡¯ll wait if she knew.¡± Cabellenus scowled slightly. Veloa was like a ball that you couldn¡¯t predict where it would bounce, so whenever he tried to fit her in, his schedule would get messed up or delayed. It was hard to spend time with Alicia as regularly as before. ¡°Is my lady not supposed to wait?¡± ¡°She will delay eating until I arrive, so she is unable to eat on time. And she will not sleep until I come back.¡± Cabellenus tightly grit his teeth. Alicia, who had been waiting for him, was initially lovely, but it wasn¡¯t good after that. Alicia often dozed off like a sick chicken, and her lack of sleep reduced her appetite. [T/N: ¡°Like a sick chicken¡± plays on the idiom ¡°like a chicken with a pip¡± which means someone weak/sickly.] ¡°Oh, then that¡¯s why.¡± ¡°What¡¯s that supposed to mean?¡± ¡°My aunt told me that the symptoms she observed were similar to the ones you see when someone¡¯s pregnant.¡± ¡°Pregnant?¡± ¡°She was going to report it to Your Grace after the doctor¡¯s diagnosis. It¡¯s not certain, so there was no reason to make a fuss. Well, now it seems like I was just ahead of myself.¡± Gazeff smiled awkwardly. He was really worried about what to do if she was really pregnant, but it was a relief. The birth of Schwarhan¡¯s successor was a joyous occasion, but the timing right now was not very good. A child born before the official marriage would be in an ambiguous position, and it would be one more thing Cabellenus had to protect. ¡°It¡¯s not confirmed that she¡¯s not pregnant.¡± ¡°But Your Grace just said¡­¡­.¡± ¡°At the end of the day, that¡¯s just a speculation.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s eyes narrowed. He only embraced Alicia that one night. The chances were slim. ¡°Mrs Morco has a good sense too.¡± ¡°My aunt was only talking about the possibility. My aunt isn¡¯t even a doctor in the first place.¡± ¡°Although the likelihood is low, it would be better to confirm the situation.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s head was tilted. He knew that a successor was required one day. However, apart from that, he never really thought much about having children. In the first place, weak bloodlines were not the subject of the Wolf of Schwarhan¡¯s interest. Unless it was Alicia¡¯s. The golden eyes glistened for an instant. He needed a successor, but not now. ¡°¡­¡­What would you do if you had a child?¡± Gazeff tried not to show any signs of unease as he looked at Cabellenus. Even if the timing weren¡¯t right, if she were indeed pregnant, that would mean Cabellenus would have a child. However, Cabellenus was not reacting like a father. His composure was too cold and indifferent to be called parents. ¡°Well. What should I do?¡± Cabellenus slowly stroked the tip of his chin with his thumb. It was impossible to picture the face of a child whose existence was unknown since he had poor imagination. However, he thought it wouldn¡¯t be bad if the child resembled Alicia. A child who had reddish-brown hair and grey eyes, and looked exactly like Alicia, wouldn¡¯t be unpleasant to hold in his arms. But as long as the blood flowing through his body was Blanche¡¯s, that was impossible. As Cabellenus and Gerpenus did, for generations, everyone with Blanche¡¯s lineage had always inherited black hair. Moreover¡­¡­. For a moment, Cabellenus¡¯s mouth twisted. Gazeff struggled for a long time, not knowing what to say, and then finally spoke. ¡°It¡¯s Your Grace¡¯s bloodline.¡± ¡°That¡¯s a shame. If it were born a little later while inheriting my blood, it would have been worth a little.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s index finger tapped the desk. If Alicia¡¯s child were born after she became the Grand Duchess, it would be a worthy successor. But a child born early was of no value. All his life, his existence had been a disgrace to his mother. ¡°It¡¯s also my lady¡¯s blood.¡± ¡°Even then, it will not resemble her. No matter how much you examine that small face, you won¡¯t be able to find any traces of her. To the extent where people would wonder if it¡¯s her child.¡± Gazeff reflexively frowned at Cabellenus¡¯s low voice. It was a child who they did not even know if it actually existed. It was impossible to know how it would look. Nevertheless, Cabellenus was acting as if he knew the child. ¡°You won¡¯t accept it?¡± ¡°It¡¯s a child born from me, so I¡¯ll have to take responsibility.¡± ¡°Then¡­¡­.¡± ¡°But, that doesn¡¯t mean such a flaw should be made with Alicia, does it?¡± Cabellenus, who calmly retorted, seemed unexcited. No, it would have been better if he looked unexcited. ¡°After all, if such a thing were born, it would be nothing but a monster.¡± The man¡¯s face that was filled with scorn was not the face of a parent. Gazeff remained silent as he watched Cabellenus touch the handle of the sword on his waist. Chapter 41 - I Want It Cabellenus¡¯s eyes narrowed as he entered the room. Alicia wasn¡¯t the only one in the room. ¡°You¡¯re still here.¡± ¡°At last, you have arrived.¡± Mrs Morco, who was sitting on the chair next to the bed, rose up and gave a brief greeting to Cabellenus. Cabellenus roughly shook his head and walked to the bed. He wanted to check Alicia¡¯s face first. ¡°You may leave now.¡± ¡°If you don¡¯t mind, I¡¯ll like to speak with you for a moment.¡± ¡°If it¡¯s not urgent, let¡¯s do it later.¡± ¡°It¡¯s urgent,¡± Mrs Morco said firmly. Cabellenus quietly stared at Mrs Morco and then gave a short sigh. ¡°It¡¯s about my lady.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Let¡¯s go out and talk. I don¡¯t want to wake her up.¡± ¡°Of course.¡± As if she had expected this, Mrs Morco left the room first. Cabellenus turned to gaze at the bed before following Mrs Morco. ¡°Don¡¯t drag it for long. Let¡¯s talk right away.¡± As soon as he reached the hallway, Cabellenus urged. ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk for long, either.¡± Mrs Morco looked up at Cabellenus. ¡°My lady cried a lot.¡± Because of Your Grace. Instead of criticising him, Mrs Morco merely just stared at Cabellenus. Cabellenus¡¯s mouth trembled slightly. ¡°¡­¡­She cried?¡± ¡°My lady thinks of herself as a flower.¡± ¡°Flower?¡± ¡°A lover.¡± ¡°Someone recklessly made fun of her,¡± Cabellenus growled in a low voice. ¡°My lady is not a fool.¡± Mrs Morco shook her head. James was the one who brought up the word, but Alicia was shaken by it because she thought so, too. ¡°Rather, she has a lot on her mind and is very self-conscious.¡± ¡°Because she¡¯s timid in the first place.¡± ¡°No. Rather than that, she¡¯s more anxious. Based on her situation, it¡¯s inevitable.¡± Mrs Morco shook her head firmly. Obviously, Cabellenus¡¯s attitude toward Alicia was special. However, he hadn¡¯t given Alicia what she needed. ¡°In the past, I saw a dog in a cage. It was a dirty space that was too narrow to move in and not properly clean up, but the dog never rebelled. It just ate the food scraps from its master and spent time curled up in the iron cage.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I felt pity for it, so I gave money to buy the dog, and I opened the door of the iron cage right away. But the dog didn¡¯t come out. For the dog, the narrow, dirty iron cage was its world, so it was unaware that it could come out.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s eyes were cold. It was clear who Mrs Morco was referring to. ¡°It took almost a month to get the dog out of the cage. But even though it got out of the cage, it still could not walk. An old hunter said that the dog¡¯s unused muscles had deteriorated.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°A year after I took in the dog that had a high chance of never being able to walk ever again, it was finally able to walk for the first time. Two more years later, the dog could walk like a normal dog .¡± ¡°¡­¡­So, what do you want to tell me? You¡¯re even rudely comparing the future Grand Duchess to a dog.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s gold eye shone uncontrollably. ¡°Even beasts that cannot speak also require time to stand up again. They need generous affection and devotion. So, how about a person?¡± Mrs Morco confronted Cabellenus without backing down. Her master was now Alicia. It was her role to protect her master. ¡°Are you trying to teach me?¡± ¡°Your Grace has chosen my master, so I only act on her will.¡± ¡°¡­¡­You¡¯re determined to obtain what you want.¡± Cabellenus clicked his tongue and relaxed his eyes. ¡°Although I may look like this, I¡¯ve lived more than twice as long as Your Grace.¡± A veteran smile spread on the old lady¡¯s mouth. ¡°So, what do you want me to do?¡± ¡°I want you to assure my lady.¡± ¡°Assure?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s mouth stiffened. ¡°My lady is not weak. She is not timid. She is just anxious and afraid.¡± ¡°So?¡± ¡°My lady is anxious and afraid because she knows nothing.¡± ¡°Just because she knows, it won¡¯t make any difference.¡± ¡°It will be different.¡± Mrs Morco¡¯s voice was more determined than ever. She was convinced. ¡°Now is not the time.¡± Cabellenus lowered his eyes slightly. He wanted to see Alicia become the perfect Grand Duchess, but that was far away. The current Alicia was not strong. Rather than being strong, she was just too weak and fragile. The moment he told her everything, she would only have a lot of useless thoughts. ¡°She is too weak.¡± ¡°The finely grown greenhouse plants cannot overcome the cold.¡± ¡°There¡¯s no need for it to face the cold.¡± ¡°But it cannot live its whole life always being protected.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Throughout the classes with me, my lady never left anything unknown. She tried to understand it, judged it herself, and made it her own. She is a person who can now progress further.¡± Mrs Morco held her smile and clasped her hands together neatly. ¡°Don¡¯t just try to hide it, and tell her your story, instead. Let her listen to what you have in mind, and Your Grace can also listen to what she has in mind. After all, trust begins with how much you know about the other person.¡± ¡°You believe she can handle it.¡± With that small, thin body that would break at any moment? Cabellenus gave a low growl. He clenched his jaw, causing the tense muscles to appear more prominent. ¡°What I told you about was the story of Janet, the mother of Rex ¨C the dog whom Your Grace now raises. She was the best hound in Schwarhan until she retired from old age.¡± Mrs Morco still faced Cabellenus with a relaxed expression. Cabellenus, who was said to be the Wolf of Schwarhan that everyone feared, was still just a young boy in her eyes. The boy who visited Schwarhan with a war medal that did not match his youthful face was not called the Wolf of Schwarhan from the beginning. ¡°When I bought her, no one expected that the ragged dog would become a fearless hound. But I believed in Janet, and she exceeded all our expectations and became my pride. Even Rex, who is now considered one of Schwarhan¡¯s best hounds, falls short of Janet¡¯s heyday.¡± Mrs Morco looked up at Cabellenus with a smile. Cabellenus said nothing, but that was enough. Schwarhan¡¯s master never made the same mistakes. * * * In the dark, Cabellenus¡¯s fingers slowly swept over Alicia¡¯s face. Originally, Alicia was a light sleeper, so she usually woke up at the tiniest movements, but these days she didn¡¯t wake up easily. Nevertheless, Cabellenus laid next to her while worrying that he would wake Alicia up. Fortunately or unfortunately, Alicia just breathed and slept without knowing that Cabellenus was next to her. Cabellenus carefully removed a hair from Alicia¡¯s cheek. ¡°¡­¡­Can you really handle it?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s eyes narrowed. The moonlight, faintly leaking through the window, shone onto the woman who still seemed fragile. He believed it was better to cover her eyes and ears like now. Cabellenus¡¯s hand settled gently on Alicia¡¯s cheek. He had never held something weak, so there were times when he didn¡¯t know what to do. At that moment, Alicia¡¯s eyelids trembled. ¡°¡­¡­Your Grace?¡± Alicia muttered in a hoarse voice. Though awakened, both eyes were hazy as if still asleep. Instead of answering, Cabellenus looked at her quietly. There was a faint rose scent on her. ¡°I missed you¡­¡­.¡± Holding Cabellenus¡¯s hand that was on her cheek, she smiled softly. She didn¡¯t seem to think the man in front of her was real. Cabellenus remained silent and left his hand to her as Alicia wanted. ¡°Come often.¡± ¡°¡­¡­I came every day.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s throat tightened. Every time Alicia pursed her lips, her breath swept through his calloused palms and the inside of his wrists. ¡°This must be a dream.¡± She wished she could see him every day in reality. Alicia murmured softly and closed her half-opened eyes. She wanted to keep Cabellenus in her sight, but her eyelids were too heavy to remain open. ¡°¡­¡­I missed you a lot as well.¡± ¡°I can even paint you in my dreams.¡± Alicia mumbled and rubbed her cheeks against Cabellenus¡¯s hand like a cute cat. Unlike Cabellenus, who was seized with fear of her tender flesh rubbing against his rough hands, Alicia gave a satisfied smile. ¡°That¡¯s good, truly.¡± Her soft lips briefly grazed against his palm. Once again, Cabellenus¡¯s throat tightened. The woman was unaware of the kind of gaze the beast before her had and just smiled innocently. ¡°I was afraid.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± The voice of the small woman shook the eyes of the man who seemed like a hungry beast. ¡°But I¡¯m glad. I could see you like this.¡± Her tired voice was like a child¡¯s grumble. Cabellenus leaned a little further towards her, trying not to strain her grip. As he drew closer, the faint scent of roses became thicker a He did not like the scent of flowers, but the fragrance from Alicia wasn¡¯t so bad. It might be because he was reminded of the excitement on her face whenever she chattered about cosmetics made with rose oil and hot spring water. ¡°I just didn¡¯t want to keep you waiting, but I made you upset instead.¡± ¡°There¡¯s no way I can¡¯t wait. You¡¯re my everything.¡± ¡°¡­¡­I don¡¯t think you¡¯ve ever told me that.¡± ¡°How can I dare say that¡­¡­.¡± Alicia muttered helplessly, wringing her hands. The smile disappeared from her face. ¡°If there¡¯s anything you want to say, you should say it.¡± ¡°But I can¡¯t say that.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°Your Grace is busy. And¡­¡­.¡± ¡°And? What¡¯s next?¡± Cabellenus touched Alicia¡¯s cheek as if to appease her. Alicia felt the touch and soon smiled lightly. ¡°Then, what if Your Grace gets tired of me?¡± Cabellenus gritted his teeth. At a closer inspection, he could see that the area around her eyes was swollen. ¡°¡­¡­that¡¯s won¡¯t happen.¡± Cabellenus laughed bitterly. ¡°I¡¯m still afraid that you¡¯ll suddenly just vanish.¡± The breath that Cabellenus held back trickled out through the crevices between his teeth. He wasn¡¯t sure about it either. Unlike him, who conjured up a future to be with her, Alicia always looked to the end. She looked agitated as if she was someone who would run away any minute. ¡°Do you think that way, too?¡± ¡°Yes. More precisely, I think that a lot.¡± The golden eyes hid under his eyelids and then regained light. But the light was paler than usual. ¡°Lies.¡± ¡°Why do you think it¡¯s a lie?¡± ¡°Your Grace is strong.¡± ¡°¡­¡­I can be afraid of something.¡± The bird that hatched from its egg was said to mark the first being it saw as its parent, but it was only for a short time. Even if it could be mistaken for a moment, in the end, the baby would eventually recognise who was the other being they had to see. Cabellenus was afraid of it. He was afraid that Alicia, who was chasing after him, might be mistaken. He was afraid that the moment Alicia gazed at someone else would come. And how she would change at that moment. Cabellenus struggled to suppress his emotions and stroked Alicia¡¯s eyelid with his thumb. Alicia, who felt ticklish, giggled and soon snuggled into Cabellenus¡¯s arms. ¡°¡­¡­It¡¯s true that I lied. Actually, I didn¡¯t say it on purpose.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°I was going to make it so you couldn¡¯t refuse and then tell you. Ironically, I¡¯m afraid of being rejected.¡± He didn¡¯t want to be pathetic, but he couldn¡¯t help it. The woman who didn¡¯t react as he expected always made him feel nervous. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have refused.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t know what I¡¯ll ask.¡± ¡°Anything is fine.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Even if I want to take you as my wife?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s grip strengthened. ¡°Yes, I¡¯m willing.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I wanted to hear this in reality, but it¡¯s nice to be able to hear it even in my dream.¡± Alicia snuggled deeper into Cabellenus¡¯s arms. Her heart fluttered at the comforting and familiar touch. ¡°I thought it was okay, but I guess it wasn¡¯t. I thought I would be satisfied if I could just remain by your side, but I wasn¡¯t.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I guess I¡¯m a greedier person than I thought. No matter how much I think about it, I don¡¯t want to miss the opportunity given to me.¡± Alicia hugged Cabellenus with both arms. Again, Cabellenus obediently followed along as she pleased. The hands were full of strength in fear of losing the man before her and was firmer than anything else. ¡°I want it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve become greedy for you.¡± It was a confession made under the pretext of a dream. Chapter 42 - It’s Good Alicia slowly closed her eyes and then opened them. Her thick eyelashes fluttered like the wings of a butterfly and made the grey eyes appear and disappear. It seemed like she slept well, but she still felt heavy. ¡®As expected, it was a dream.¡¯ While lying in bed, Alicia reached out to the vacant spot beside her. The bedsheets were wrinkled, but no warmth remained. That was the sad truth. The dream yesterday was so vivid that it made her think that Cabellenus might have been there all night. Alicia sighed deeply after gazing at the vacant spot for a long time. Her body felt heavy, but her eyes were stiff because she fell asleep after crying yesterday. ¡®After the dream, I miss you even more.¡¯ Alicia pressed her swollen eyes with her palms. It was a pleasant dream, so it felt even more futile. Because the more distinct the gap between dream and reality, the greater she felt the vacancy of Cabellenus. ¡°Are you going to sleep some more?¡± Her eyes widened at the familiar voice heard from behind her back. Alicia blinked slowly, then quickly raised herself. It was not an illusion. It was Cabellenus. ¡°Why, Your Grace¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s been a long time since we have eaten together.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Do you not want to?¡± Cabellenus raised his head. ¡°Oh, no. No way!¡± Alicia frantically flailed her arms in the air. She was so embarrassed that she kept moving her arms, causing her to sway. ¡°Be careful.¡± ¡°Yes, yes.¡± Alicia blushed, biting her lips firmly. She wasn¡¯t hurt as she was on the bed, but the man¡¯s gaze made her feel self-conscious. ¡°If you were here, you should have made it obvious¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You were sleeping too soundly for that.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± She wondered if he watched her sleep. While pressing her hot cheeks with both hands, Alicia¡¯s gaze landed on the clothes Cabellenus was wearing. He was wearing a lighter outfit, not the usual uniform. At that moment, Alicia¡¯s smooth forehead wrinkled. ¡°¡­¡­Did you come at dawn?¡± ¡°I finished work late. Even though I tried to come earlier, it ended up being that time.¡± ¡°Well, then¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I deliberately didn¡¯t wake you up because you were sleeping so well.¡± She wondered if her dream was really a dream. Alicia¡¯s gaze grew uneasy. Her shaking eyes were already busy casting sidelong glances at the man. However, it was difficult to recognise the intention of a man whose facial expression did not change. ¡°Why? Do you have something to say?¡± ¡°Yesterday, I didn¡¯t make any mistakes, did I?¡± Alicia¡¯s voice trembled. She clearly remembered that she poured out all kinds of words on the pretext that it was her dream. ¡°You didn¡¯t really make any mistakes.¡± ¡°Is that so¡­¡­.¡± Her mouth, which was hardened with tension, slightly relaxed. Cabellenus squeezed his chin as he looked at her face that he could easily read. A light smile hung around the edge of his mouth, which he stealthily covered with his fingers. ¡°However, we may need to talk a little more about the deal between us.¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± The mouth, which previously slightly relaxed, tensed again. Cabellenus looked at the expression that was quickly reversed and continued, pretending not to know. ¡°For your information, I¡¯m a pretty expensive guy. You¡¯ll be in trouble if you don¡¯t pay the right price.¡± Alicia¡¯s eyelashes trembled noticeably. She didn¡¯t know that Cabellenus¡¯s smile ¨C hidden behind his hand ¨C was growing wider. ¡°Wh-what does that¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You said you wanted me.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s eyes bent mischievously. He never thought of himself as a childish person, but looking at such a face made him want to tease it. ¡°I didn¡¯t expect you to want that.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Don¡¯t make fun of me.¡± Alicia¡¯s shoulders drooped. Cabellenus rose from his chair and walked to where she was. It was a leisurely pace of a satiated beast. ¡°How much will you give me?¡± ¡°¡­¡­What can I give you?¡± Naturally, his composure collapsed at the pure gaze that looked up at him. Cabellenus paused and looked down at Alicia. This woman always deviated from his expectations. Cabellenus let out a short breath. He thought he would be satisfied by just the return of liveliness in those eyes, but he wasn¡¯t. The eyes of a young woman filled with desire were more than he expected. ¡°Your eyes.¡± Cabellenus took a step forward. ¡°I want you to keep looking at me with those eyes.¡± ¡°Just that?¡± ¡°I want to hear you chatter endlessly about stories with those lips.¡± One step. ¡°¡­¡­And?¡± ¡°I want to embrace your small body.¡± Another step. ¡°I want to kiss your soft skin.¡± And, one more step. Alicia reflexively gulped at the short distance between them. Since when did it start? The satiated beast suddenly had the eyes of a hungry beast. ¡°I have nothing to give you.¡± ¡°I know.¡± ¡°But you still keep me beside you. You¡¯re not going to gain any benefits.¡± ¡°It¡¯s too late to think about that.¡± He stopped walking. Alicia let out a long breath. ¡°You might regret it.¡± ¡°That¡¯s why I¡¯m still doing things that don¡¯t suit me.¡± To not regret it. Cabellenus¡¯s hands wrapped around Alicia¡¯s face. Confusion spread across Alicia¡¯s face. Cabellenus was kneeling before her. ¡°Ge-get up quickly!¡± ¡°That¡¯s why you should keep looking at me.¡± Unlike Alicia, who was confused, Cabellenus calmly met her gaze. Alicia had a tearful look, her lips clenched. ¡°Why do you make that expression?¡± ¡°Your Grace is not supposed to be like this.¡± ¡°That¡¯s right. I¡¯m not supposed to be like this. Except for you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Because for me, you will be the only one who is important.¡± Alicia nervously bit her lips and then clenched her fist. Her heart was rapidly pounding as if she had run, but she didn¡¯t want to ignore the man¡¯s gaze. She was greedy, and she wanted to be greedy. ¡°¡­¡­I don¡¯t have anything right now, so I can¡¯t pay for it. However, the future me can.¡± Alicia touched Cabellenus¡¯s face with her trembling hands. Although the man had the eyes of a beast that looked as if it would bite the nape of her neck at any moment, the man quietly accepted Alicia¡¯s touch. ¡°I¡¯ll be by Your Grace¡¯s side. I¡¯ll stay by your side and pay for the price that I can¡¯t pay right now.¡± ¡°You¡¯ll bet your future to buy me?¡± ¡°I will become a grand duchess that suits you, Your Grace.¡± She stiffly said everything she had to say on the subject. Cabellenus laughed at the contradictory expression mixed with anxiety and confidence. ¡°You¡¯ll have to work hard to become a grand duchess that suits me.¡± ¡°I will.¡± ¡°You¡¯re confident?¡± ¡°Just like Your Grace.¡± Alicia¡¯s fingertips fluttered. The man¡¯s cheeks felt strange to touch as they were soft, unlike his sturdy, muscular body. ¡°What does that mean?¡± ¡°Your Grace is always confident and strong, so wouldn¡¯t that be appropriate for the person standing next to you?¡± Alicia¡¯s eyes sparkled. Now it was finally clear what she wanted to do. A person who was not shabby when standing beside Cabellenus. A person who was not under his protection but could walk shoulder-to-shoulder with him. She wanted to be that kind of person. ¡°You don¡¯t have to be strong.¡± ¡°I will be strong.¡± Alicia shook her head. The movement of her head was still weak, but the firm resolution was evident. The warmth in her tightly held hands was so warm she didn¡¯t want to let go. Alicia hesitated for a moment and then cautiously lowered her head. ¡°I¡¯ll give you my future. Instead, give me Your Grace.¡± Alicia¡¯s lips touched Cabellenus¡¯s forehead. The action alone made her face heat up, but she didn¡¯t intend to let go of his hand. ¡°I thought you weren¡¯t greedy, but that¡¯s not the case.¡± ¡°So you don¡¯t like it?¡± ¡°No.¡± It¡¯s good. His last words were barely audible from the lips that suddenly approached closer. A large hand hastily dug into Alicia¡¯s hair. Alicia willingly swallowed her breath and hugged his firm neck with her arms. Hot breaths flowed through each other¡¯s open lips. * * * ¡°You don¡¯t like the food.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s eyes narrowed onto Alicia¡¯s hesitating fork. Alicia smiled awkwardly and poked the innocent lettuce with the fork. ¡°No. It¡¯s not like that. Rather, I haven¡¯t been feeling well lately.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll call a doctor.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s gaze naturally turned towards Alicia¡¯s belly. Although he was informed of the possibility, it was difficult to determine if something was inside by only looking at her flat belly. ¡°No. It¡¯s not that bad. I think I lost my appetite because I don¡¯t like eating alone¡­¡­.¡± She was worried that her words sounded like a complaint. Alicia stole a glance at Cabellenus. Cabellenus¡¯s eyebrows slightly furrowed. ¡°Once the current situation is over, we¡¯ll be able to dine together again.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t overdo it. I can eat alone. I¡¯m used to it now.¡± ¡°More than that, it¡¯s because I¡¯ll regret it.¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± Alicia¡¯s eyes widened. ¡°If you don¡¯t care if I¡¯m not there, I¡¯ll be the one to regret it.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s eyes were slightly curved. Alicia looked at him with her cheeks flushed. The hand holding the fork tightened, but she didn¡¯t keep her mouth shut. ¡°¡­¡­If that¡¯s the case, I can¡¯t help it.¡± ¡°Is it so?¡± It was a mischievous smile, but she liked it. Alicia nodded, holding herself together. ¡°Yes. I prefer eating with Your Grace.¡± ¡°I¡¯m glad to hear that, but regardless, make sure you eat properly.¡± ¡°Does Your Grace eat well?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry about me. You have to eat well.¡± She was still skinny. Cabellenus¡¯s eyes narrowed. Even though he was feeding her everything good, Alicia, in his eyes, still looked like she would break at the slightest touch. ¡°This is the first time that I¡¯ve been eager for the hunting season to return.¡± ¡°The hunting season?¡± ¡°Every year, the last month in Schwarhan is the hunting season. By that time, the monsters are particularly rampant and cause severe damage in many ways.¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t it dangerous?¡± Alicia¡¯s eyes narrowed. A strange form of life that was different from ordinary animals. She had never actually seen it, but the book defined the monsters in that way. The book explained it as a very dangerous being and illustrated it with bizarre pictures. ¡°It¡¯s dangerous, but we cannot help but fight. If we leave the monsters as they are, they will destroy the land. In the end, it¡¯s something someone must do.¡± ¡°Even so, I hope you don¡¯t do anything dangerous.¡± Alicia murmured in a cautious voice. ¡°Are you worried?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Alicia nodded straight away. She knew that Cabellenus was strong, but she still felt uneasy. Cabellenus, no matter how strong, was also a human. And every human was bound to die. Alicia was most afraid of losing someone. Even more so, if it was the man in front of her. ¡°You don¡¯t have to worry. The biggest Balman will be mine this year anyway.¡± ¡°What¡¯s a Balman?¡± She had never heard of that name before. Alicia tilted her head. ¡°It is the largest and most ferocious monster in Schwarhan.¡± At the same time, it was also used as the best health tonic. Cabellenus nodded lightly, omitting the last sentence. Sometimes it was best for the truth to remain unknown. ¡°Then it¡¯s terribly dangerous.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve been doing this every year, so I¡¯m used to it. Besides, this year, I have more reasons to do it.¡± Despite its hideous appearance, the heart of Balman was a popular ingredient for health tonics in the capital. As soon as the hunting season came, Gerpenus would excessively pester his brother for several days until he sent the heart. From this year onwards, he would not send a single heart of Balman to the capital. It seemed that there was already a protest from Gerpenus, but Cabellenus didn¡¯t mind at all. The health tonic was necessary for Alicia, who was skinnier than his powerful half-brother. ¡°I can¡¯t help it if you have to, but I don¡¯t want Your Grace to get hurt.¡± ¡°If you¡¯re uneasy, why don¡¯t you give me an amulet?¡± ¡°An amulet?¡± ¡°In Schwarhan, there is a custom of giving gifts to warriors before they go to war so that they can return safely.¡± The custom that he had considered a nuisance was now a good excuse. Cabellenus stared at Alicia while holding his chin. He meant half of it as a joke, but since her eyes sparkled with eagerness, he now didn¡¯t want to take back his words ¡°What can I give you?¡± ¡°Are you going to give it to me?¡± ¡°Yes. If it¡¯s something I can give.¡± Even with the lightly posed question, Alicia had a very serious face. ¡°You don¡¯t have to speak so grandly. Words are like amulets ¨C they don¡¯t have to be great things.¡± ¡°Then what kind of thing should it be? Is there a set rule?¡± ¡°There¡¯s no set rule. It¡¯s something that you can always carry with you and contains your heart. You have plenty of time, so take your time.¡± Cabellenus grinned. He found the agonising look on Alicia¡¯s face very pleasing. She would naturally have no choice but to think about him while selecting the amulet. Chapter 43 - Dogs and Wolves TL: Kay (rivulettranslations) ¡°What if you don¡¯t like the amulet I choose?¡± ¡°That¡¯s not possible.¡± ¡°You only say that because you don¡¯t know what I¡¯ll give you.¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter. Whatever it is, it¡¯ll make me happy.¡± He meant it. There was no considerable difference in any objects. The man, who lacked nothing, was already full of things. The only thing that mattered was how much Alicia thought about him while she chose it. Because the man always wanted the lady¡¯s small head to be filled with thoughts of him. Cabellenus gulped down his hidden intentions with wine. ¡°If so, I¡¯ll keep thinking.¡± The slightly heated cheeks looked so lovely he wanted to take a bite. Cabellenus reached out and touched Alicia¡¯s lips. Alicia was startled and opened her eyes wide. She looked at Cabellenus, but the man pretended not to see. ¡°There was some sauce.¡± Cabellenus gently wiped his hands on the napkin. ¡°If you told me, I would have wiped it.¡± Alicia turned her head in an awkward gesture, covering her mouth with her hands. ¡°I¡¯ll do that next time.¡± The corners of Cabellenus¡¯s mouth sneaked up as he glanced at Alicia, who flushed red like a ripe apple during the harvest season. Although there was no sauce, it was difficult to notice the lie from a man who appeared nonchalant. ¡°By the way, how long are you going to refer to me by my honorific title?¡± Before Alicia knew the truth, it wasn¡¯t hard for Cabellenus to divert her attention. Even though he had spent many years on the battlefield, he was an imperial family member. He was familiar with the social culture ¨C he just had not revealed it. It was not difficult to lie with a relaxed face. ¡°Well, Your Grace told me¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Habits are difficult to change, so you better practice consistently. The sooner you start, the better.¡± ¡°Well, that¡¯s¡­¡­.¡± Alicia¡¯s face, which had been dyed red, was now white. Even if she understood what Cabellenus was asking for, she couldn¡¯t bring herself to nod. ¡°I think you can talk to me casually now.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If not, do you prefer to use honorifics in a respectful sense, my lady?¡± Alicia¡¯s eyes widened in surprise. She was so surprised that her mind turned blank and she couldn¡¯t speak at all. ¡°What are you so surprised about?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If you don¡¯t want to speak casually, I can just speak formally instead.¡± Unlike Cabellenus, who spoke calmly, Alicia trembled as if she had heard something she wasn¡¯t supposed to hear. Cabellenus wasn¡¯t just anyone, so it was awkward and unfamiliar to hear him speak like that. He was a man fit to reign from above. ¡°¡­¡­Ha, don¡¯t do that.¡± In the end, Alicia barely managed to squeeze her voice out. However, the man with a mischievous smile seemed to have no intention of stopping. ¡°What do you mean, my lady?¡± ¡°Well, you¡¯re speaking formally to me.¡± ¡°If you want something from your opponent, you have to satisfy them, my wife.¡± Wife. The low, buzzing voice was small, but the impact of the word was large. Alicia twisted her lips as she looked at the laid-back man. Unlike her, the man was too skilled. When she noticed that fact, her feelings suddenly subsided. ¡°We¡¯re not married yet.¡± ¡°It will happen in no time.¡± Otherwise, he was afraid all his patience would dry out. Cabellenus maintained his expression and swallowed back the words. For the nobles, premarital relations were not honourable. It was too late to find honour now, but there was no reason to continue to create flaws. The nobles valued what they could see, and the more plausible they looked, the easier it was to integrate into their social circles. ¡°Get used to it. It will be natural in the future.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Your Grace must be familiar with this kind of thing.¡± ¡°Rather than being familiar¡­¡­.¡± When he noticed Alicia¡¯s darkened expression, he stopped speaking. ¡°¡­¡­I guess you don¡¯t like this.¡± Perhaps he went too far. Cabellenus¡¯s eyes slightly hardened. Alicia glanced at Cabellenus, blinked for a moment, and then nodded. ¡°I don¡¯t like it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± His heart sank at the firm voice. But unlike Cabellenus, Alicia¡¯s lips did not stop moving. ¡°Since you¡¯re skilled at it, you must¡¯ve done it to other people. I don¡¯t like that.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I know it¡¯s impossible, but I wanted to be Your Grace¡¯s first.¡± Just like how it was for her. Alicia quietly muttered under her breath, fidgeting with her fingers. After much consideration, Alicia mustered the courage to raise her head. However, when she saw his hardened face, she became anxious about whether she did the right thing. ¡°¡­¡­It¡¯s my first time.¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± ¡°It¡¯s my first time, too. With you.¡± Where did she learn to provoke him? Cabellenus pressed his forehead and released a suppressed breath. He was dumbfounded at every word the woman, who was much smaller than him, said, but once he came to his senses, he was confident that he heard her correctly. ¡°The person I want to embrace, the person I want as my wife, and the person I care about. You are the first.¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I feel a little better now.¡± Cabellenus chuckled dejectedly. He couldn¡¯t stop laughing even though he knew he was doing something stupid. ¡°I didn¡¯t expect you to be jealous.¡± ¡°¡­¡­It¡¯s mine now.¡± ¡°Yours?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Alicia clenched her fists a little more tightly. Never in her life had she grasped what she wanted. Because whatever she wanted always broke and disappeared, she tried not to have any desires at all. But, not anymore. She could have what she wanted. It was her first time, so it was still nerve-wracking and strange, but she had no intentions of giving up. She was going to, somehow, hold onto his hand and never let go. ¡°Your Grace is mine.¡± It was a gaze filled with ambition. Cabellenus reflexively exhaled. Alicia, who stubbornly raised her head and held it high, was no different from a child recklessly claiming ownership over something they first found. Nevertheless, his back felt chills, and his mouth was dry. (rivulettranslations) He thought greed was a word that didn¡¯t go well with Alicia, but it seemed necessary to correct it from now on. The grey eyes filled with greed suited her much better than the dull gaze that desired nothing. The man was insanely happy about that fact. After all, greed ultimately began in oneself. He knew that the desires would become shackles and hold the small woman by his side. ¡°I never thought I¡¯d be claimed by someone ever in my life.¡± Cabellenus swept his hair with a wry smile. He didn¡¯t know whether to be thankful or sorry for the fact that he was familiar with suppressing his instincts. ¡°Ah, but now you can¡¯t take it back now.¡± Even with a timid face, she said it well. No, in the first place, it wasn¡¯t right to label her as ¡°timid¡± anymore. ¡°My lady is not weak.¡± Cabellenus frowned, recalling Mrs Morco¡¯s words. In retrospect, Alicia had always been like that. She looked as if she was on the verge of collapsing at any moment, even though she eventually was able to endure it despite her delicate condition. ¡®If the environment she grew up in was different¡­¡­.¡¯ The past was irreversible. It was pointless to assume what else would have happened now. Nevertheless, Cabellenus still thought about it. He wished she had grown up in a better environment and treated appropriately. ¡°It¡¯s impossible.¡± Of course, it was contradictory, but he found relief in the thought that she was still like an unprocessed gemstone. Cabellenus reached out and covered the back of Alicia¡¯s strained hands with his. Her hand was small enough for him to hold both hands with one hand, but he didn¡¯t think she was as weak as before. ¡°Never let go. No matter what happens, hold on tight. It¡¯s a promise you must keep.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s eyes sparkled. If she wanted to own it, he would give it to her. No, it was better that way. As long as he followed Alicia¡¯s request, he would at least not ruin her with his own hands. It wasn¡¯t that difficult to voluntarily wear a leash and pretend to be a disciplined dog. Even so, the essence would not change. Although their appearance looked similar, in the end, wolves were wolves, and dogs were only dogs. Even if it wore a leash, a wolf couldn¡¯t become a dog. Despite understanding that fact, the man pretended not to know and strengthened his grip. * * * ¡°You look happy today, my lady.¡± ¡°It¡¯s because His Grace came here today.¡± ¡°You must have had a good time.¡± ¡°Yes. I enjoyed it.¡± Mrs Morco widened her eyes slightly and soon laughed. The experienced old lady quickly noticed that Alicia had a change of heart. ¡°Now it¡¯s time to adjust the class schedule.¡± A satisfied smile hung on Mrs Morco¡¯s lips. It was still awkward for Alicia to act casually, but it didn¡¯t matter. Alicia was persistent. Sooner or later, she would get used to speaking casually, and she would look like a superior. ¡°There¡¯s a lot to learn, so we have to hurry and prepare. I have many things I want to teach you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Mrs Morco, is it okay for me to become the Grand Duchess?¡± While she was grateful for Mrs Morco, who continuously supported her, she was worried at the same time. Alicia looked up at Mrs Morco with rather anxious eyes. ¡°Of course.¡± Contrary to Alicia¡¯s worries, Mrs Morco nodded without hesitation. ¡°Aren¡¯t you answering too easily?¡± ¡°I haven¡¯t been with you for a long time, but you have never disappointed me. You¡¯ve always done well.¡± ¡°It was something anyone could do. Mrs Morco taught me well.¡± Alicia laughed awkwardly. She was aware of it, but it was still awkward to speak informally to Mrs Morco. ¡°There¡¯s a difference between being able to do something and actually doing it. Many people don¡¯t do what they can. They often procrastinate and avoid work using all kinds of excuses. Even more so, if it¡¯s something that feels difficult.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°My lady. Straighten your shoulders. It¡¯s amazing enough to try your best in a given task. And, in my experience, people like that have never let me down. That¡¯s all.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Thank you.¡± Alicia¡¯s expression became more relaxed from the comforting pats on her shoulder. Mrs Morco¡¯s support for Alicia was a great strength. ¡°It¡¯s my duty to take care of my lady.¡± ¡°I will do my best. I may not be good enough now, but I will try really hard.¡± ¡°I¡¯m glad to hear that, but for now, please withdraw your passion for the time being.¡± Mrs Morco smiled as she saw Alicia burning with determination. Whenever she saw Alicia, she couldn¡¯t help but feel like she was watching sprouts growing up day by day. ¡°Now? What do you mean?¡± ¡°Studying is necessary, but I believe it would be best to check it out first.¡± ¡°What do you need to check?¡± Mrs Morco agonized for a moment when she saw her innocent eyes. As Alicia did not grow up in a typical environment, Mrs Morco did not know the extent of her common sense. That was why she worried whether or not she should tell Alicia about her suspicion of pregnancy. However, it was impossible to hide it forever. Even if it wasn¡¯t visible because it was in the early days, it would inevitably be noticeable once the belly started to swell, and above all, Alicia was the party that would bear the child. Alicia had the right to know. ¡°It¡¯s my guess, but the symptoms you¡¯ve recently shown are similar to those seen during early pregnancy. I think it¡¯s better to check it out. What do you think?¡± ¡°¡­¡­What did you just say?¡± Alicia frowned reflexively. She heard it, but she couldn¡¯t understand what Mrs Morco was saying. ¡°Pregnant.¡± ¡°Say it again.¡± Alicia urged. ¡°There may be a child in your belly.¡± Alicia¡¯s pupils rapidly shook. Mrs Morco repeatedly told her that she might be pregnant, but it was hard to accept. It felt like she was listening to an unfamiliar language that was utterly unknown to her. ¡°You must be very surprised.¡± Mrs Morco took Alicia¡¯s hand and patted it gently. Alicia¡¯s face was pale as if she in great shock. ¡°No, I¡­¡­.¡± Alicia couldn¡¯t go on and lowered her head. She looked at her belly straight away. But that was all. No matter how much she looked at it, she couldn¡¯t find any traces of the child with the naked eye. ¡°Do I really have a child?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not sure, but I speak based on my experience and opinion. When I had my child, I had similar symptoms to my lady.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Are you worried?¡± Instead of answering, Alicia nodded. She should rejoice at the birth of a new life, but her mind was full of complicated thoughts. She had all kinds of ideas and reasons, but in the end, only one thought remained. Alicia wrapped her arms around her belly. Chapter 44 - Unwan ¡°Perhaps it¡¯s because you¡¯re not familiar with it.¡± Mrs Morco patted Alicia¡¯s back. Alicia shut her eyes tightly. It wasn¡¯t unfamiliar. She just didn¡¯t want to accept the existence of the child itself. Cabellenus was the only one she needed to accept ¨C one was enough. For now, she didn¡¯t want to add any more. ¡°It¡¯s understandable to think that a strange being is inside you all of a sudden.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°First of all, it hasn¡¯t been confirmed that you¡¯re pregnant yet.¡± Alicia¡¯s hand tightened. The moment she heard Mrs Morco¡¯s words, she began to wish she wasn¡¯t pregnant. ¡®Am I weird?¡¯ Alicia bit her lip. Someone once told her that motherhood was an instinct. If it were her child, she would have no choice but to love them. It was a matter of course. However, she didn¡¯t feel the slightest sense of natural feelings. Regardless, it was useless to dwell on the existence of the child. She felt sorry for her child, but she wasn¡¯t happy at all. Instead of purely blessing the budding life, the feelings of fear prevailed. She didn¡¯t have the confidence to be a good mother. That was the conclusion Alicia reached after a long time of thinking. ¡°Don¡¯t worry too much. It¡¯s not a bad thing.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Do you really think so?¡± ¡°Of course it¡¯s a good thing.¡± Mrs Morco whispered in a kind voice. She knew there was a possibility of a dispute, but there was no fault in the child being born. A child deserved to be blessed just by being born. ¡°If a child is born, I¡¯m sure they will be a lovely child.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Perhaps they will resemble His Grace, or on the contrary, my lady.¡± ¡°Resemble His Grace¡­..¡± Alicia¡¯s gaze shook. Mrs Morco did not miss the opportunity and squeezed her hands a little more. ¡°Either way, they¡¯ll be a lovely child. They¡¯ll also be the fruit of your relationship.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure they¡¯ll grow up with plenty of love and will grow up to be great. They¡¯ll be Schwarhan¡¯s next master.¡± Despite Mrs Morco¡¯s assurance, Alicia could not accept the child¡¯s existence. Because she had only ever seen two types of parents. They either measured the child¡¯s value or sacrificed everything for the child. Alicia didn¡¯t want to be either one. She didn¡¯t want to judge the value of the sudden foreign existence, nor live a life for it. ¡°If you¡¯re feeling overwhelmed, we can call the doctor later. After you feel at ease.¡± Mrs Morco looked at Alicia with anxious eyes. However, it was hard to figure out what Alicia was thinking from her blank expression. ¡°¡­¡­Please call a doctor.¡± ¡°My lady.¡± ¡°It won¡¯t make any difference if I get checked later. I¡¯ll check it now. That would be better.¡± Alicia nodded resolutely. Although she repeatedly swept her stomach just in case, her feelings toward the child remained unchanged. The child without movement was not at all lovely. Even at that moment, she desperately hoped that she was not pregnant. (rivulettranslations) * * * ¡°Take a deep breath and then exhale.¡± ¡°Like this?¡± ¡°Yes, that will do.¡± After skillfully checking Alicia¡¯s condition, the doctor asked a few questions and wrote down a report. Alicia looked at the doctor with nervous eyes. She felt sorry and guilty to think like this, but she couldn¡¯t stop it. Even as she endured the guilt, Alicia hoped she wasn¡¯t pregnant. ¡°How is it?¡± ¡°There seems to be no big problem. However¡­¡­.¡± The doctor avoided Alicia¡¯s gaze, and his voice trailed off. ¡°Is there a problem?¡± Unable to bear the wait, Mrs Morco stepped forward. The doctor smiled awkwardly, shaking his head weakly. ¡°I don¡¯t think she¡¯s pregnant.¡± ¡°Ah.¡± Alicia covered her mouth with both hands at the instinctive noise that popped out. But she wasn¡¯t sure if it was merely because of joy. Despite desperately hoping that she was not pregnant when Alicia heard the news, she felt strange. ¡°Maybe it¡¯s too early to confirm it.¡± Mrs Morco frowned. ¡°That¡¯s possible, but in my opinion, I don¡¯t believe that¡¯s the case.¡± ¡°No?¡± ¡°It¡¯s certainly true that overwhelming tiredness, changes in appetite, or nausea are symptoms of pregnancy. However, based on the examination, there is no evidence to confirm that the lady is pregnant.¡± ¡°Are you sure?¡± ¡°If you don¡¯t believe me, you can call the other doctors. Everyone will say the same thing.¡± The doctor waved his hand hastily in front of Mrs Morco. ¡°But¨C¡± ¡°It¡¯s all right.¡± Alicia shook her head firmly. Mrs Morco, who was staring at the doctor, finally sighed at Alicia¡¯s resistance and withdrew. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, my lady. I¡¯m afraid I was too hasty.¡± ¡°No. Anyone would have thought that. I understand.¡± Alicia laughed, but somehow her body felt weak. ¡®It¡¯s a shame now.¡¯ Alicia let out a wistful breath. She unconsciously touched her stomach. ¡°Then, why does the lady show such symptoms?¡± Mrs Morco¡¯s face was distorted. Gazeff speculated that Cabellenus¡¯s absence was too much for Alicia and caused her to show such symptoms. From one point on, Alicia was disgusted by the smell of certain foods. ¡°I¡¯m not sure about that, either.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t know? If the doctor doesn¡¯t know the patient¡¯s condition, who on earth will trust you to treat them?¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry. But there¡¯s really no other abnormalities. Even though the lady is on the thin side, she¡¯s healthy enough.¡± Mrs Morco¡¯s fierce spirit caused the doctor to shrink back, but he kept talking. He was the best doctor in Schwarhan. He was confident of his diagnosis. What Alicia was showing was early signs of pregnancy, but she wasn¡¯t pregnant. ¡°However, I¡¯ve heard that if you yearn for pregnancy, you often experience symptoms due to the mind¡­¡­.¡± The doctor kept an eye out as he spoke. [T/N: To ¡°keep an eye out¡± means to remain vigilant or carefully watchful for something or someone.] There was nothing good about offending nobles. ¡°That can¡¯t be right.¡± ¡°Then, I have no diagnosis to make.¡± The doctor¡¯s shoulders shrank even more at Mrs Morco¡¯s cold response. He, too, thought that Alicia¡¯s symptoms were strange, but he couldn¡¯t lie. ¡°But, as you said, I may have missed something since it¡¯s too early in the stages of pregnancy so I will check again later.¡± ¡°That would be great.¡± Mrs Morco secretly glanced at Alicia, trying not to show any regrets. Perhaps it was better this way. Alicia, who couldn¡¯t accept the child, didn¡¯t seem ready to become a parent yet. It would be better to wait a little longer. * * * ¡°She isn¡¯t pregnant?¡± ¡°Yes. That¡¯s what the doctor said.¡± ¡°I see. That¡¯s good.¡± Cabellenus nodded calmy. Despite hearing Gazeff¡¯s report, Cabellenus¡¯s hand, which was signing the papers, never stopped. He really didn¡¯t care. Gazeff stood still, not knowing what expression to make of his superior¡¯s reaction. ¡°¡­¡­I think you should go see the lady.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not done with my work yet.¡± ¡°She may have been disappointed.¡± ¡°Disappointed?¡± ¡°The lady must have heard the news that she¡¯s not pregnant.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s hand finally stopped moving. Gazeff immediately went on, feeling a little nervous. ¡°It¡¯s usually like that.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It would be nice if you could visit her for a moment. The lady is heavily dependent on Your Grace.¡± Gazeff smiled awkwardly. Cabellenus had always been a reliable master, and Gazeff still respected him as his superior. But apart from that, he couldn¡¯t help but feel uneasy. Cabellenus never reversed his decision. Cabellenus had already decided on the disposition for the child, and all that remained was to implement it. Knowing that, Gazeff had no choice but to pat his chest when he heard that Alicia was not pregnant, but after that, he became increasingly afraid for the future. Even if a child was born in the future, it was impossible to guarantee their safety. Cabellenus could remove the child at any time based on the situation. The threat to the child¡¯s life would be none other than their father. ¡°Maybe, she¡¯s secretly crying.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Although he had already heard of Alicia¡¯s reaction, Gazeff tried to pretend not to know. Cabellenus was unusually generous to Alicia and always tried to accommodate her. In order to protect the future child from Cabellenus, he had no choice but to mention Alicia. If he could continue to make Cabellenue aware that Alicia found the child¡¯s existence special, he could expect a better response when they had a real child. That was the best solution Gazeff could devise. ¡°That¡¯s possible.¡± Fortunately, the excuse worked, and Cabellenus put down the pen. ¡°It¡¯s might not be enough, but I¡¯ll stay here for a while. Go ahead.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­What¡¯s wrong?¡± Gazeff carefully examined his superior¡¯s countenance. Although he wasn¡¯t usually this self-conscious, his anxiety soared when he saw Cabellenus¡¯s slanted mouth. ¡°I think it would be better to prepare something that would make her feel better instead of just visiting.¡± ¡°Oh, yes. Yes. That would be better.¡± Gazeff nodded hastily. ¡°I wonder what she will like.¡± Cabellenus tapped the desk with his index finger. Gazeff looked at him and swallowed his saliva. It¡¯s been a long time since he had been so nervous. No, he didn¡¯t think he was this nervous even during the Battle of Markata, where they were driven into a corner. Even then, it didn¡¯t feel like a death sentence, but the tapping sound, which felt like a prompt to answer, did. ¡°I think Your Grace knows the lady best.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± He thought it wasn¡¯t a bad answer, but the look on his superior¡¯s face didn¡¯t look very pleased. Gazeff quickly lowered his head and corrected his answer. ¡°Let me ask my aunt.¡± ¡°That would be best. But¡­¡­.¡± He thought it would be the correct answer this time, but it didn¡¯t seem to be the case. Gazeff¡¯s eyes trembled slightly. The cold sweat running down his spine was chilling and made him shudder. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± Gazeff struggled to clear his voice and forcibly lifted the ends of his lips, but his superior¡¯s expression did not loosen. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± He wasn¡¯t sure if it was just an illusion, but the air in the room, where silence continued, seemed to weigh heavily on his body. Gazeff kept his eyes on his superior, whose expression remained unreadable. However, Cabellenus was not generous enough to consider his subordinate¡¯s feelings. All Gazeff could do was wait quietly. Undeniably, he couldn¡¯t erase the thought that the wait was hellish. Gazeff remained silent, hoping that his superior¡¯s mouth would open as soon as possible. ¡°¡­¡­No. Forget it. Don¡¯t worry about it.¡± Whether or not Gazeff¡¯s prayers were heard, fortunately, Cabellenus soon sighed and touched his forehead. ¡°Are you all right?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t mind me. Just get in touch with Mrs Morco first.¡± Cabellenus roughly gestured with his hands and leaned his upper body against the chair. Until this morning, he felt particularly satisfied, but his mood dampened at the unexpected question. He couldn¡¯t proudly claim that he knew Alicia well as there was still a lot he didn¡¯t know about her. He tried to count the things Alicia liked, but he couldn¡¯t even fold all his fingers. ¡®What I can be sure of is walking, studying, and painting¡­¡­.¡¯ A faint wrinkle sat on Cabellenus¡¯s smooth forehead as he looked out the window. Today, it was snowing heavily, so she couldn¡¯t go out. Taking a walk in this weather was unreasonable. ¡®But it¡¯s absurd to study in this situation, too.¡¯ Cabellenus¡¯s wrinkles deepened a little. It was ridiculous to talk about studying to a depressed person, but in the first place, the man was not good at teaching. ¡®The only thing left is painting¡­ ¡­ .¡¯ Cabellenus, who nodded without much thought, suddenly stopped moving. ¡®It won¡¯t be difficult for him.¡¯ He tried hard not to feel bothered. However, in this situation, it was inevitable that the presence of the young painter, who could hold a friendly conversation with Alicia, felt unpleasant. In this situation, Cabellenus struggled, but James could have made Alicia laugh easily with his talent. ¡®¡­¡­ Ridiculous, really.¡¯ He never thought he would be envious of a weak painter who would have carried nothing heavier than a canvas. Cabellenus sneered, his lips curled. The wrinkles on his forehead were now deep enough to be apparent to anyone. Chapter 45 - Strange ¡°When did you get here?¡± Upon finding Cabellenus, Alicia¡¯s eyes widened. ¡°I just stopped by for a minute. I have to return later.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to come here if you¡¯re busy¡­¡­.¡± Alicia stopped talking and wrinkled her brows. It was apparent why the busy Cabellenus came this time. ¡°¡­¡­By any chance, have you heard the news?¡± ¡°¡­¡­yes.¡± Cabellenus hesitated for a moment and then nodded. Alicia wriggled her fingers as she stared at the man. In retrospect, it wasn¡¯t just her child. As Mrs Morco said, it was a child between the two of them. Cabellenus could also harbour feelings for the child, and the emotions he felt could be sufficiently different from Alica. When she thought so, her heart became heavy. Even though the child didn¡¯t even exist from the start, it felt like she had somehow done something terrible to Cabellenus. ¡°Are you all right?¡± Cabellenus carefully wrapped his hands around her cheeks. Seeing his undisguised concern, Alicia lost the confidence to say that she didn¡¯t want a child. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°It¡¯s nothing to be sorry about.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s grip tightened. When he saw the woman with a grim expression, a bitter taste lingered in his mouth. He had not forgotten the advice from his aide. ¡°There¡¯s no need to rush in having a child. You can take your time.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to comfort me.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a relief if I¡¯m able to make you feel better. I don¡¯t know what to say because I¡¯m clumsy at this.¡± Cabellenus gave a short laugh. Alicia smiled awkwardly and nuzzled her cheeks into his big hands. ¡°It¡¯s not something that deserves comfort. There was only a slight mistake.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not your fault. Just as you said, there was a mistake.¡± ¡°But you must be disappointed.¡± Alicia muttered helplessly. Cabellenus kept his mouth shut. He wasn¡¯t disappointed because he didn¡¯t expect it, but he couldn¡¯t tell Alicia that reason. ¡°I¡¯m not disappointed.¡± ¡°Really?¡± ¡°I was rather troubled. Because the timing wasn¡¯t good.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Of course, it¡¯s not that I don¡¯t want a child with you.¡± Cabellenus clicked his tongue. Since when did he have such a smooth tongue? He felt like a fool for telling such a lie. [T/N: To have a ¡°smooth tongue¡± means to have the ability/tendency to use insincere flattery or persuasion.] But he had no choice. He was finally getting closer to Alicia. Recognizing that, he didn¡¯t want to ruin the relationship that was heading in a good direction. He wanted to mimic what Alicia desired and protect the current relationship with her. ¡°¡­¡­I just didn¡¯t want you to be sad.¡± Nevertheless, he meant what he said. Cabellenus laughed bitterly. ¡°I¡¯m not sad.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to pretend to be strong in front of me.¡± ¡°Did you think I¡¯ll be sad?¡± ¡°That¡¯s how it usually is.¡± Imitating what Gazeff had said, Cabellenus avoided Alicia¡¯s gaze. Although he was speaking appropriately, he didn¡¯t know what the usual standard was. ¡°¡­¡­yes.¡± Alicia smiled and raised her head. As Cabellenus¡¯s hand moved away, the warmth naturally disappeared. ¡°Just take a good rest for the time being. The first thing to do is to get your mind together.¡± ¡°Yes, I will.¡± ¡°You haven¡¯t had dinner yet, right? I¡¯ve brought you some things that I thought you might like, but I don¡¯t know if you¡¯ll like them.¡± Cabellenus stealthily grabbed Alicia¡¯s hand. ¡°Things that I like?¡± Without taking away her hand, Alicia looked at him. ¡°It¡¯s ridiculous to study in this situation, and it¡¯s also not a good day to take a walk together, either.¡± There was another thought that came to mind, but Cabellenus deliberately omitted it. To place Alicia in a room with another man due to classes¡­¡­. There was no reason to bring James up or to remind her of him by mentioning painting. ¡°I thought about a mix of things because I wanted to relieve your mood, but I didn¡¯t know what I should do for you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°So, I decided to prepare you some foods that you previously enjoyed.¡± Throughout his speech, Cabellenus carefully studied Alicia¡¯s facial expression. He couldn¡¯t erase the thought that bringing food wasn¡¯t enough. ¡°You don¡¯t have to do that. I¡¯m happy that Your Grace cared.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°But since you worked hard to prepare it for me, I¡¯ll gladly eat it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­okay.¡± As expected, food alone was not enough. Cabellenus sighed inwardly, looking at Alicia, who struggled to smile. He tried to get some information by questioning Gazeff, but it was useless. Alicia was happy with most things, so it was hard to know if anything, in particular, stood out to her. With the help of Mrs Morco, who had been supporting her all the time, all he received was information on the foods she ate well. ¡°Instead, please join me for a meal, Your Grace.¡± ¡°Me too?¡± ¡°You have to eat even if you¡¯re busy. If you don¡¯t mind, please eat with me.¡± Alicia moved her hands slowly and clasped them with Cabellenus¡¯s. The sensation of the tender flesh rubbing between the fingers reflexively caused goosebumps on the nape of her neck, but she did not let go. It felt comforting to her, but she wanted to console Cabellenus, even if it was just a little bit. She did not know what the man who wanted to comfort her thought. * * * ¡®Is it because I¡¯m full?¡¯ Alicia hesitated for a moment, then took a piece and chewed it in her mouth. The people of Schwarhan enjoyed eating meat, so meat dishes were often served at the table. Today¡¯s main dish, the T-bone steak served with mashed potatoes, wasn¡¯t hard to come by either. When she first came to Schwarhan, Alicia was impressed by the taste. At first, Schwarhan¡¯s cuisine seemed a bit plain and rough, but the original taste of the ingredients was alive. But today, the juicy steak didn¡¯t taste delicious. On the contrary, the smell of the signature meat dish only made her feel sick. If it hadn¡¯t been for Cabellenus, she would have spat out the piece she was chewing. Alicia barely managed to swallow meat in her mouth with water and then glanced at Cabellenus. Recently, she would get a stomach ache, but it wasn¡¯t unbearable and would moderately pass, but this time, she couldn¡¯t stand it. ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Do you not like it?¡± ¡°No. It¡¯s so delicious.¡± ¡°Eat a lot. There¡¯s plenty of food.¡± ¡°Okay. Thank you for the meal.¡± At the urging of Cabellenus, Alicia placed another slice of steak in her mouth. And, she immediately regretted it. The moment she recognized the taste of the meat, Alicia¡¯s face contorted reflexively. ¡°What¡¯s the matter? Is it weird?¡± It didn¡¯t seem that bad just a while ago. Alicia couldn¡¯t do anything, so she just covered her mouth with a grimace. She wanted to spit it out, but she couldn¡¯t because of Cabellenus. ¡°Spit it out if you can¡¯t eat it.¡± Cabellenus, who rose without hesitation, put a napkin on Alicia¡¯s mouth. ¡°Oh, no, I¨C¡± ¡°Spit it out.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s hand strengthened. Alicia tried to refuse, but she eventually surrendered to his stubborn touch. No, she was thinking of swallowing it as it was, but she didn¡¯t dare. ¡°Are you okay?¡± Cabellenus only released his hand after Alicia spat out the food in her mouth. ¡°Yes, yes.¡± Alicia closed her eyes tightly, unable to watch Cabellenus roughly lump up the napkin together. It was not enough to show him her good side, but now she had to show her embarrassing side. ¡°Are you okay, my lady?¡± Mrs Morco tactfully placed a glass of water in Alicia¡¯s hand. Alicia held the glass and nodded repeatedly. ¡°There¡¯s no problem with the food.¡± Cabellenus, who ate the remaining steak on the plate, frowned slightly. The taste of the steak was no different from what they usually ate. ¡°That¡¯s because I¡¯m feeling a little sick.¡± At Cabellenus¡¯s words, Alicia raised her head again. After rinsing her mouth with water, the feeling of nausea still lingered. A terrible smell was constantly stimulating her sense of smell. ¡°Get rid of those things right now.¡± Cabellenus noticed Alicia¡¯s gaze and pushed the plate roughly away. The servants, who were preparing to serve the next meal, were puzzled but hurriedly removed the food. Mrs Morco, who had been watching the situation from the side, immediately opened the window after seeing Alicia¡¯s subtly changed expression at the food that had gone away. The sudden cold wind made Alicia reflexively recoil, but her expression improved. Mrs Morco frowned as much as Alicia. It wasn¡¯t a matter of food. It was just that Alicia couldn¡¯t accept the food. It was like morning sickness, which was typical for pregnant women. ¡°Open the window right now and start ventilating the room.¡± Mrs Morco wasn¡¯t the only one who noticed the change in Alicia. The window quickly opened it in response to Cabellenus¡¯s command. The wind mixed with snow rammed into the castle. ¡°You¡¯ll need something to cover you up.¡± At Mrs Morco¡¯s words, instead of answering, Cabellenus took off his coat and put it on Alicia. After a long time, Alicia barely managed to suppress the feeling of nausea and looked at Cabellenus. (rivulettranslations) ¡°Are you all right?¡± ¡°Yes, yes. I¡¯m okay.¡± ¡°Since when did this happen?¡± ¡°The doctor said there was no problem. It wasn¡¯t this serious this morning.¡± Alicia hurriedly replied in a quiet voice. She didn¡¯t want to worry him about this. ¡°You don¡¯t have a problem with this look?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s face twisted with anger. Alicia urgently grabbed Cabellenus by the hem of his garment. ¡°Although the symptoms are unique, I¡¯m not in bad shape.¡± It was the first time she had such a severe symptom, but the symptoms, themselves, were not strange. At first, the symptoms began with an upset stomach, but they seemed to be getting worse day by day. She was not sensitive nor picky about food, but at one point, she became unable to eat more and more foods. ¡°Symptoms? What symptoms?¡± ¡°That¡¯s¡­¡­.¡± She didn¡¯t want to talk about pregnancy anymore. Alicia obscured her words and avoided Cabellenus¡¯s gaze. However, the persistent man knew nothing about giving up. ¡°Mrs Morco.¡± ¡°Yes, Your Grace.¡± ¡°Instead, you should explain.¡± Cabellenus ordered with his teeth clenched. The glistening eyes were struggling to contain his anger. ¡°It¡¯s just like the lady said. I had the doctor examine her several times, but the findings were consistent. They said there is nothing wrong with the lady¡¯s body.¡± ¡°Are you saying that they don¡¯t even know the name of her illness even though they are a doctor?¡± Cabellenus clicked his tongue with a tone of absurdity. His voice was mixed with deep irritation. ¡°There was only one suggestion that it was similar to the symptoms seen in the early stages of pregnancy.¡± ¡°I thought they said she wasn¡¯t pregnant.¡± ¡°Yes. The doctor also said that it was strange.¡± Although she replied calmly, Mrs Morco was also confused. The symptoms that Alicia was showing were consistently indicating that she was pregnant. ¡°What is the probability that the doctor¡¯s diagnosis is a misdiagnosis?¡± ¡°It¡¯s hard to say that it¡¯s not perfect. Not only the doctor¡¯s personal diagnosis but the magic tool used to confirm pregnancy showed little response. The odds of misdiagnosis is extremely low.¡± ¡°Call another doctor.¡± His pupils flashed menacingly. Mrs Morco quickly bowed her head and politely responded. ¡°He¡¯s the best doctor in Schwarhan.¡± ¡°Are you going to make me repeat myself?¡± Cabellenus growled. Mrs Morco nodded right away without further comment. ¡°I¡¯ll call my family doctor for now.¡± ¡°Them too, if they don¡¯t know the name of the disease, call another doctor.¡± ¡°Yes, sir.¡± Mrs Morco answered obediently this time. She also wanted to check Alicia¡¯s condition. ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡± Alicia smiled weakly ¨C as if to show them not to worry. The back of Cabellenus hand gently swept Alicia¡¯s cheek. ¡°I¡¯m not okay.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s jaw was strained. Due to her snowy-white skin, Alicia looked pale even if a little colour disappeared from her face. Eventually, Cabellenus could not bear to look at her pale face and hugged Alicia in his arms. ¡°I¡¯ll be okay soon.¡± ¡°Of course, you¡¯ll be fine. You¡¯ve gained as much weight as you can, but now you can¡¯t eat anything, and you¡¯re becoming skinny.¡± Cabellenus carefully stroked Alicia¡¯s hair. The hands of the man who touched her hair were now quite proficient. ¡°I¡¯ve eaten too much to say that I couldn¡¯t.¡± ¡°You didn¡¯t eat much, though.¡± ¡°Your Grace doesn¡¯t know how many oranges I ate while in my seat today.¡± Alicia laughed awkwardly. It was a comment made to reassure Cabellenus, but it was not a lie. She didn¡¯t enjoy food due to her reduced appetite, so she would end up having a small portion, but somehow the oranges she ate today were so delicious, her hands kept reaching for them. The hands of the maids who peeled oranges for her were constantly busy. ¡°I didn¡¯t know you liked fruits.¡± Cabellenus stared at Alicia. Looking back, it was unpleasant that there was something he didn¡¯t know about her. (rivulettranslations) Chapter 46 - I Like You ¡°These days, sweet and sour foods are delicious.¡± Alicia giggled awkwardly. ¡°I¡¯ll have to tell them to buy more fruit.¡± ¡°I¡¯m still eating without shortage.¡± ¡°What do you like more than fruits?¡± ¡°Food-wise?¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter.¡± Cabellenus nodded lightly. He was in a position where he didn¡¯t have to memorise someone else¡¯s tastes. But he wanted to know Alicia¡¯s taste. No, rather, he wished he knew everything about her. ¡°That¡¯s¡­¡­.¡± Alicia took a short deep breath under his persistent gaze. The sudden question embarrassed her. ¡°I think I like painting very much.¡± ¡®If you like it, you just like it ¨C you don¡¯t have to ¡®think¡¯ you like it.¡¯ Alicia slightly frowned at the ambiguous expression she spouted, but Cabellenus didn¡¯t look particularly concerned by it. ¡°And?¡± ¡°I like to take walks. I like classes¡­¡­.¡± ¡°And?¡± ¡°Um¡­¡­.¡± Alicia paused for a moment, counting her favourite things. Come to think of it, she, herself, didn¡¯t know much about the man either. ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Do you not want to talk about it?¡± ¡°No.¡± Alicia shook her head hastily. ¡°Then?¡± ¡°¡­¡­What about you?¡± Alicia looked at Cabellenus with a slightly nervous expression. ¡°Me?¡± ¡°What do you like?¡± ¡°I¡¯ve never really thought about it. Are you curious about something like that?¡± ¡°Why did you ask me what I liked?¡± The frightened woman now knew how to raise her head and ask questions back. That fact pleased Cabellenus, so he smiled slightly. ¡°I want to know about you.¡± ¡°So do I.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Naturally, that smile didn¡¯t last long. Cabellenus barely restrained himself from reaching a hand out to her. The woman knew how to provoke the man in the past and even now. In that case, he had no choice but to provoke her in the same manner. There was a glimpse of mischief in his golden eyes. ¡°I think it¡¯s you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­M-me?¡± ¡°I¡¯ve never thought about what I like, but the only thing I care about the most recently is you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If I had to express what I like in words, then it would be you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± If Gerpenus had seen this, he might have been the first to hurl insults at him. It was a ridiculous sight to see him choose his words carefully while looking at a woman who was much smaller than him. However, Cabellenus liked Alicia¡¯s expression of bewilderment, enough for him to endure such a situation. Every remark he made was like throwing a stone into a lake. Her expression would ripple, and her feelings would be clearly displayed. ¡°What about you?¡± ¡°Y-yes?¡± ¡°Am I included in your likes?¡± ¡°I¡­¡­.¡± Alicia¡¯s face was distorted. She had to suppress it, but whenever she looked into the man¡¯s eyes, she couldn¡¯t bear to lie. He liked honesty. She didn¡¯t want to do what he hated. ¡°You don¡¯t like me?¡± ¡°No! Th-that¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Then, which one am I?¡± No, it was actually an excuse. To be more honest, she wanted to say it. When she confessed that she liked him, she wondered what kind of expression that arrogant man would make. ¡°¡­¡­I like you.¡± Alicia¡¯s face was burning so red that it could not get any hotter. The focus of her eyes shook restlessly and nervously, and her tense body was stiff. Nevertheless, Alicia did not lower her head until the end. Instead, she followed Cabellenus¡¯s reaction and tried to remember everything about him. The man who was slightly frowning seemed embarrassed and avoided eye contact. It was barely noticeable, but at a closer glance, his earlobes were clearly stained red. A low, hot breath awkwardly leaked out from his tightly clenched teeth. And, the corners of the mouth rose up ¨C all the way. Alicia¡¯s hand wriggled reflexively. She wanted to paint. She wished she could remember this moment forever, just like that. ¡°I like you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I really like you.¡± The emotions that she had tightly suppressed and the words that were so difficult to spit out could no longer be contained. However, she couldn¡¯t bear not conveying it. Once spoken, it was like a flare, and it created a gap in the wall of patience that she had built so far. ¡°I still feel like I am dreaming. So, I am afraid and anxious that I will wake up from this dream at any moment. Even so, I will not change my desire to be more greedy.¡± Because it was no one else, but him. The woman laughed as she said that. The man who heard this twisted his face. It was strange. Obviously, it was his own feelings, but Cabellenus couldn¡¯t define what it was. Although Alicia expressed it as ¡°like,¡± the man¡¯s sharp instinct realised it was not the end. The woman who smiled shyly despite her deathly pale face was undeniably a good thing for the man, but that alone was not enough. He needed words that could express his emotions more deeply and clearly. But the man¡¯s mind could not think of the word. There was only one woman, and every time he saw her, countless thoughts and feelings rushed into his heart, making him unable to figure out the words to express them. In the end, all Cabellenus could do was hold Alicia tightly in his arms and constantly brood over the warmth. * * * ¡°How are you? Are you all right?¡± ¡°Yes. I¡¯m fine.¡± Unlike Alicia, who nodded her head gently, Mrs Morco¡¯s expression was dark. The number of foods that Alicia could not eat was increasing day by day. Now all she ate was fruit, but she couldn¡¯t eat every type of fruit. Initially, no matter what kind of fruit it was, she couldn¡¯t swallow it down her throat unless it was excessively sour. ¡°Would you like to try this?¡± ¡°What is it?¡± ¡°It¡¯s squeezed lemon juice mixed with carbonated water. I think my lady will like it. Go ahead and try it. Of course, if you don¡¯t like it, you can leave it.¡± Mrs Morco handed the glass to Alicia in a soft voice while reassuring her. Even though Alicia was obviously reluctant to consume anything, she couldn¡¯t refuse Mrs Morco¡¯s sincerity and drank it without protest. ¡°¡­¡­uh?¡± Alicia¡¯s eyes were round. ¡°Is it all right?¡± ¡°Yes. It¡¯s delicious.¡± While holding the glass tightly in both hands, Alicia smiled. Mrs Morco smiled along with her. But Mrs Morco¡¯s stomach churned. [T/N: If someone¡¯s stomach churns/lurches/tightens, it means they are suddenly feeling a strong feeling of fear, shock or excitement.] No matter how much she observed Alicia, her judgment was not wrong. Alicia¡¯s symptoms were obviously those of a pregnant woman. Lemon water, alone, had no sugar added, so it didn¡¯t taste good, but pregnant women enjoyed drinking it. However, none of the doctors who had visited could confirm if Alicia was pregnant. As if everyone had coordinated it, they only stated they could not find any signs of pregnancy and that the symptoms were suspicious. ¡®What is the problem?¡¯ Mrs Morco¡¯s eyes narrowed. Alicia was growing weaker day by day because she couldn¡¯t eat. If the inability to eat continued, she might eventually collapse. ¡°Do you have any foods you want to eat?¡± ¡°What I want to eat?¡± ¡°You have to eat something. Otherwise, I¡¯m afraid my lady will collapse.¡± Even today, the doctor gave her a nutrient injection, but they couldn¡¯t have that done every time. As the number of days where Alicia couldn¡¯t eat increased, the more uncomfortable Cabellenus¡¯s mood got, and the busier the people in the castle became as they had to watch out for his temper. At this rate, if Alicia collapsed, there would be some form of trouble. ¡°Can¡¯t you just tell His Grace that I had a good meal?¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure the news has already been delivered.¡± Mrs Morco breathed out a short sigh. Despite his busy schedule welcoming guests, Cabellenus was very concerned about Alicia¡¯s diet. He not only checked what Alicia had eaten for the day but also sent food she ate well to the extent that it felt like nothing had been eaten anything at all. Either this afternoon or tomorrow, the castle would be full of lemons and carbonated water. ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯m sorry. It seems like everyone¡¯s having a hard time because of me.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not like my lady intentionally doesn¡¯t want to eat it.¡± ¡°But, I¡¯m sorry for bothering you so much.¡± ¡°It¡¯s all right. At times like this, you should take it easy and relax.¡± If she wasn¡¯t pregnant, it was most likely psychological. Mrs Morco wrapped her hands around Alicia¡¯s hands and affectionately consoled her. She felt sorry because the hand she held was thinner than before. ¡°If you have anything you want to eat, it would be better if you could tell me.¡± Alicia was originally not picky about her taste and was a good eater, but now there was a variable. It was more difficult to match her tastes in the current situation since there was nothing that she clearly liked. ¡°The truth is¡­¡­.¡± Alicia, who had been hesitant for a long time, carefully voiced. Mrs Morco quickly asked in order not to miss the opportunity, ¡°Is there anything you want to eat?¡± ¡°There is, but you won¡¯t be able to get it.¡± ¡°If it¡¯s something my lady wants to eat, just tell me, and I¡¯ll try to get it.¡± Cabellenus wasn¡¯t the only one who became more agitated as Alicia became thinner. The same was true for Mrs Morco. Even though there was a lot of fruit that Alicia could not eat, Mrs Morco didn¡¯t say anything to Cabellenus because she wanted Alicia to try it a bit more. ¡°¡­¡­I want to eat soup.¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± ¡°I want to eat the soup that my mother used to cook for me¡­¡­.¡± Alicia couldn¡¯t speak any more and shook her head. She knew it was impossible unless her dead mother came back alive. However, there were times when her mother¡¯s soup suddenly came to mind, especially recently. Tears welled up at the thought of never being able to eat it again. ¡°Don¡¯t cry, my lady. I¡¯ll try to do something about it.¡± ¡°I¡¯m really sorry. I don¡¯t know why I¡¯m doing this either. I just¡­¡­.¡± Alicia couldn¡¯t speak any more and shut her mouth tightly. Before she knew it, the tears she unconsciously shed were soaking her skirt. Recently, she felt strange as she couldn¡¯t control her feelings. ¡®I hate it. I truly hate it.¡¯ Alicia shut her eyes tightly, unable to look at her reflection in the water. [T/N: In case anyone¡¯s confused, she didn¡¯t want to see her reflection in the glass of lemon water¡­¡­!] She thought it was okay at first. However, every time she noticed her body change, she became terrified. ¡°Another doctor will come tomorrow.¡± ¡°Then, what about tomorrow¡¯s painting class?¡± ¡°My lady¡¯s health is a priority. Please understand even if you¡¯re disappointed.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± The more she wanted to paint, the more she couldn¡¯t do it. Alicia wriggled her fingertips, recalling Cabellenus¡¯s face, which she had not yet finished painting. ¡°In regards to the soup that your mother made for you. Can you tell me what you know about it?¡± ¡°Why do you ask?¡± ¡°I¡¯m going to try to get it.¡± ¡°It¡¯s impossible. My mother passed away a long time ago.¡± Alicia shook her head helplessly. ¡°Even if it doesn¡¯t work, I could at least try and make it.¡± ¡°But¡­¡­.¡± Alicia tried to say no as a habit but was startled by Mrs Morco¡¯s confident gaze. It was better to try than to give up ¨C that was what Mrs Morco had been teaching her. ¡°It¡¯s a shame to give up without even trying.¡± ¡°¡­¡­I don¡¯t know much, but will it be okay?¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay. If you can tell me a little bit of information, it will be quite helpful when I try to re-create it.¡± ¡°Then, I¡¯ll think about everything I can and tell you.¡± Alicia nodded her head carefully. Although she thought it would not work, she wanted to challenge herself. She didn¡¯t know about anything else, but she believed that she could empty any number of bowls of her mother¡¯s dirty and tasteless soup. [T/N: Her mother¡¯s soup was first mentioned in chapter 6!] ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter if you¡¯re late, so please take your time to think about it.¡± ¡°It¡¯s been a long time since I had the soup, so I can barely think of anything, but I can remember a few things.¡± ¡°Can you tell me what you remember?¡± ¡°My mother told me she used to eat the soup often when she had me.¡± Alicia¡¯s eyes turned downward. She thought she was doing well, but her eyes reddened at the thought of her mother. ¡°When she had my lady?¡± ¡°When my grandmother had my mother, she ate it as well.¡± ¡°It¡¯s like a secret recipe that¡¯s passed down from generations to generations.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not sure about that since my mother wasn¡¯t really a family person.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°O-of course, that doesn¡¯t mean that my mother was a strange person!¡± Alicia¡¯s shoulders shrank reflexively. It was still fresh in her memory. Everyone pointed out that her mother was a vulgar woman. No matter how decorated it was, the blood of a filthy barbarian was unavoidable. But the mother Alicia remembered was neither vulgar nor dirty. Her mother was a strong person. Even amid the cold repression and persecution, she kept her back straight and protected her beliefs. ¡°¡­¡­My mother was only trying to protect me. That¡¯s really all.¡± Although everyone would curse at her mother, they didn¡¯t dare to touch her since they were afraid of her strength. Her mother¡¯s power was a shield to protect her but at the same time reduced her to a tool of power. And, it was none other than her daughter who took away that shield. Chapter 47 - People Who Resemble Alicia¡¯s mother told her not to feel guilty, but she couldn¡¯t. After she was born, her mother¡¯s power gradually diminished, and at some point, it disappeared like a well running dry. [T/N: If a ¡°well runs dry¡± it means that the entire supply of something has been used up and is no longer available.] No matter how much she thought about it, she could not erase the thought that her mother¡¯s life would not have ended so miserably if she had not been born. ¡°She sounds like a good person.¡± ¡°¡­¡­she was a good person.¡± Alicia¡¯s mouth drooped helplessly. It was sadder since she knew what kind of person her mother was. ¡°My lady resembles her, isn¡¯t that right?¡± Mrs Morco affectionately looked into Alicia¡¯s eyes. Alicia hesitated and shook her head. ¡°I wish I look like her, but I don¡¯t think I really resemble her much.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure you look alike. Usually, parents and children are said to be mirrors of each other. So it¡¯s only natural to resemble one another.¡± ¡°Is that so? I hope that¡¯s the case.¡± Mrs Morco sounded so confident in her words even though she was not talking about her own child. Alicia rubbed her lower abdomen out of habit. She knew it didn¡¯t exist, but her hands kept moving. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s nothing.¡± Alicia hurriedly removed her hand from her lower abdomen. However, the warmth of where she touched faintly remained. That fact made her feel depressed for no reason. She certainly didn¡¯t want anything like a child, and her feelings remained unchanged, but she kept feeling empty inside. ¡°If you¡¯re not feeling well, please tell me right away.¡± ¡°I¡¯m fine now. Most of all, I want to help recreate my mother¡¯s soup.¡± ¡°Do you remember anything else?¡± ¡°She put a large number of unknown plants and water and boiled it, but it didn¡¯t taste that nice. Even though I was hungry, I didn¡¯t want to eat it.¡± A light smile spread around Alicia¡¯s mouth. It was a difficult life, but the time she spent with her mother was still a happy one. ¡°I don¡¯t know what kind of ingredients were in the soup, but I remember that there were a lot of plants with vines and thorns, and I think the plants came from a rugged area.¡± ¡°How come?¡± ¡°That¡¯s¡­¡­.¡± Alicia wiggled her fingers. Her mother¡¯s soup was so terrible that she wanted to spit it out immediately as soon as she ate it, but Alicia never complained. ¡°I couldn¡¯t openly ask, but on the days my mother cooked the soup, her hands were always in a mess. So I vaguely thought that was the case.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Ah, is there a plant encyclopedia in the castle? I don¡¯t know the names of the plants, but if I see a picture, I might recognise it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Will it be difficult?¡± With round eyes looking up at her, Mrs Morco finally regained her senses and took a step back. ¡°No. I will find it tomorrow.¡± ¡°Thank you¡± ¡°But¡­¡­.¡± Mrs Morco stared at Alicia for a moment. Even though it wasn¡¯t something to reveal lightly, Alicia seemed okay. Although Mrs Morco had felt all along, the lady she served was too indifferent about her own wounds. It was never a good thing to be numb to a wound. ¡°What is it? Do you have something to say to me?¡± ¡°No.¡± Mrs Morco shook her head, but her eyes were still on Alicia. ¡®I thought she looked like Jane, but¡­¡­.¡¯ When she first saw Alicia, Mrs Morco naturally thought of her hunting dog. But now that she looked closely, Alicia looked much more like Cabellenus, not Jane. The young boy who first came to Schwarhan. ¡®I hope my lady does not go down the same path as His Grace.¡¯ Mrs Morco slightly frowned as she recalled Cabellenus as a child. The eyes directed toward Alicia were dark as if sediments had piled up. * * * ¡°So, have you thought about my proposal?¡± Veloa gracefully raised her chin. ¡°You mean our engagement?¡± Cabellenus stared at Veloa without a change in expression. ¡°Of course, it¡¯s an engagement with marriage in mind.¡± The confident princess never lost her courage as she faced the wolf of Schwarhan, whom everyone feared. On the contrary, she had a triumphant gaze, as if she had seized the upper hand. ¡°I guess the princess must like me a lot.¡± ¡°Do you want an honest answer? Or do you want an appropriate answer?¡± ¡°Let¡¯s be frank.¡± That way, they could end the tedious war of wits. Cabellenus nodded lightly, concealing his innermost thoughts behind an indifferent expression. His mind was already completely preoccupied with Alicia. ¡°The unbelievably cold snowfields are really the worst. The fashion is definitely outdated, and the party culture is lacking. Honestly, I don¡¯t like this place very much. It isn¡¯t called the land of death for nothing.¡± Veloa nodded lightly. It was clear from her slight grimace that she had no intention of concealing her hatred for Schwarhan. ¡°But you still want to marry me anyway.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Veloa nodded without hesitation. ¡°May I ask why?¡± ¡°There¡¯s no great reason. It¡¯s just because I know Your Grace will be the next emperor.¡± There was a gleam in her blue eyes. Although Veloa¡¯s eyes were full of greed, the eyes as beautiful as glass beads suited her well. ¡°That¡¯s interesting.¡± ¡°Do you like my story?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t hate honest people.¡± Cabellenus murmured calmly. ¡°Then our conversation will be easier.¡± Veloa¡¯s smile deepened. ¡°It will depend on what the princess can offer me.¡± ¡°Are you trying to check my worth?¡± ¡°Since the princess confirmed mine, I should do the same.¡± ¡°Your Grace has a rather interesting side.¡± Veloa giggled, and her eyes elegantly curved. ¡°So you don¡¯t like it?¡± ¡°No. I¡¯m satisfied. No one has ever spoken to me as boldly as Your Grace, so it¡¯s quite refreshing.¡± Veloa grinned, tucking her hair behind her ear. Cabellenus¡¯s eyes narrowed slightly. It was an obvious temptation that Veloa didn¡¯t try to hide. On the contrary, she seemed relaxed and laughed as she exposed her pale white neck. ¡°May I take that as a positive sign?¡± ¡°I like Your Grace more than I thought, so of course, it¡¯s a positive sign, don¡¯t you agree?¡± ¡°I¡¯m glad to hear that.¡± Cabellenus gave a brief nod. He had already considered the extent of an engagement with Veloa. As long as the agreement moved in line with interests, the engagement between nobles flowed fluidly until marriage. However, it was not strange to break the engagement depending on the circumstances. Besides, Veloa was a princess of another country. Even if they were bound by the name of an engagement, he would rarely actually see her. He could use Veloa as a shield to adequately hide Alicia¡¯s existence, and then once the timing was right, he could break off the engagement. ¡°I¡¯m glad you feel the same way as I do.¡± ¡°Before that, the princess must prove her worth.¡± Cabellenus gently swept his chin. ¡°Isn¡¯t my existence enough?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not easy to possess the highest title for anything. And that title naturally becomes power. Just having me by your side would be beneficial to Your Grace.¡± ¡°Having a beautiful woman beside me is enviable, but that is all.¡± ¡°I beg your pardon?¡± ¡°There are things in the world than just a pretty face cannot get done. Beauty is vainer than you think and will wither away easily.¡± It was time to show his teeth. [T/N: To ¡°show one¡¯s teeth¡± means to demonstrate or use one¡¯s power or authority in an aggressive or intimidating manner.] Cabellenus shed a little of his hidden thoughts. ¡°Your Grace is quite rude.¡± ¡°The attitude the princess demonstrated is also quite rude.¡± ¡°If you do this to me, Your Grace will not get what you want.¡± ¡°If that happens, the princess won¡¯t get what she wants, either.¡± Cabellenus smiled languidly. Veloa¡¯s face, which had always remained arrogant, turned pale. The life of a long-running, war-torn beast was not something that a princess, who grew up like a flower in a greenhouse, could endure. ¡°Think carefully, Your Grace. It¡¯s not good for you if you keep doing this to me.¡± ¡°There¡¯s nothing good, but there¡¯s also nothing bad.¡± ¡°I beg your pardon?¡± ¡°Even if it¡¯s not the princess, there are many others who can offer better conditions.¡± Cabellenus looked at Veloa indifferently, concealing his innermost thoughts. It seemed like she could barely endure this much and could only speak in a strained voice. ¡°Are you saying that it doesn¡¯t matter if it¡¯s another woman?¡± Veloa raised her eyes and clenched her teeth. It seemed that her noble pride was hurt, but it wasn¡¯t a bad result for Cabellenus. Since she lacked nothing, it meant that she didn¡¯t know how to give up. Rather than simply holding someone perfectly in his hands, it was better to maintain a distance and keep their interest. ¡°This is a noble marriage.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°And, it¡¯s also a marriage between the two countries.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If there¡¯s no satisfactory outcome between us, there¡¯s no reason to push forward and endure the losses. That¡¯s all.¡± Cabellenus said nothing else after that, but Veloa¡¯s face colour changed over and over again. In the prolonged silence, Cabellenus recalled Alicia, who would now be seeing a doctor. Although he had called for all the famous doctors in Schwarhan, no one could diagnose Alicia¡¯s illness properly. All he could do was watch her struggle to eat and become skinnier. That fact made him grow more anxious and also made him more annoyed at the performance that he was currently delivering. ¡°Then, what does Your Grace want from me?¡± ¡°That¡¯s what the princess should figure out. Among all the people, there¡¯s a good reason why I chose a princess of the Kingdom of Christie.¡± ¡°¡­¡­A princess of the Kingdom of Christie?¡± She wasn¡¯t a fool after all. Cabellenus smirked at Veloa, who frowned upon realising the meaning of his words. ¡°Upon investigation, it turned out the second princess is also unmarried.¡± ¡°Do you think the second princess is as beautiful as I am?¡± ¡°I told you that a beautiful face is not important.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Cabellenus looked indifferently at the young princess, who was gritting her teeth and trembling as she tolerated the disgrace. It was easy to notice that Veloa was a princess who grew up under protection. So, why did Gerpenus choose her? Cabellenus crossed his arms and pushed his mysterious brother¡¯s face out from his mind. No matter what Gerpenus intended, it was now time to get what Cabellenus wanted. ¡°I¡¯ve satisfied the princess, so now it¡¯s your turn.¡± Cabellenus narrowed his eyes. The reason he had overlooked Veloa¡¯s rudeness so far was because of magic. With the future in mind, Schwarhan¡¯s magic level was currently far from enough. In order to survive in the harsh land where the brutal cold continued every day, they couldn¡¯t last without the power of magic. ¡°What do you want from me?¡± ¡°Well, that depends on what the princess can offer.¡± The more profits he could get, the better. Therefore, it was not necessary for him to set the standard first. It was better to let the opponent set the standards. If the opponent hated losing like Veloa and had a lot of pride, they would show off as much as they owned. ¡°It wouldn¡¯t be good for you to treat me like this.¡± ¡°As much as the princess knows her worth, so do I. The seat next to me is limited, but there are a lot of people aiming for it. If it¡¯s a marriage that has to proceed anyway, it¡¯s natural to choose the one that benefits the most.¡± ¡°It¡¯s none other than the imperial position as the Duchess.¡± Veloa¡¯s gaze wavered at his additional remark. In the meantime, she seemed unwilling to relinquish her position as the future Empress. The collapse of her pride was only temporary, and she eventually settled on a conclusion. ¡°¡­¡­. give me a few more days to think about it.¡± ¡°Feel free to discuss it with your father. It¡¯s not something a young princess can handle in the first place.¡± ¡°I won¡¯t discuss this with my father. I¡¯ve always made my own decisions.¡± There was a tinge of irritation in Veloa¡¯s voice. Her appearance was no different from that of a child¡¯s anger at being labelled as young. ¡°Oh, I see.¡± Veloa¡¯s eyes quivered at the plain answer. Even from just the slightest touch, she would tremble. It was clear that she was not suitable to sit at the negotiation table. At this point, despite trying to relax, Cabellenus couldn¡¯t help but be suspicious of what Gerpenus really had planned. However, Cabellenus didn¡¯t have those thoughts for long. Now there was something that worried him more than that. Cabellenus sneaked a look at his watch and then sighed inwardly. It was time for the doctor to finish the examination. It was necessary to send someone to check Alicia¡¯s condition. If he could, he would go and visit her himself. ¡®I¡¯ll have to stay up all night again.¡¯ Cabellenus exhaled, propping up his chin. He was pretending to be calm, but in fact, he felt a knot in his chest and couldn¡¯t stand it. The terrible situation where he could do nothing but wait made him feel helpless. Chapter 48 - Being Special ¡°That¡¯s why doctors keep coming in and out of the castle? To cure that slave?¡± ¡°Yes, that¡¯s right.¡± ¡°Then guide me there at once.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± In the silence that followed, the hand leisurely waving the fan stopped moving. Veloa straightened her body from her seated position and crumpled her brow. ¡°Why can¡¯t you say anything? Don¡¯t tell me you still don¡¯t know where that b*tch is?¡± ¡°The doctor said that he was blindfolded before he could enter the castle, so it would be difficult to locate the exact location.¡± ¡°So you didn¡¯t find it?¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± The escort quickly bent and grovelled, but Veloa¡¯s forehead did not relax. ¡°In any case, you¡¯re incompetent,¡± Veloa retorted as she swept her hair up. ¡°Then did you find out what kind of illness she has? It must be quite severe considering that she keeps looking for a doctor.¡± ¡°The doctor said it¡¯s his first time seeing such an illness.¡± ¡°The first time he¡¯s seen it?¡± ¡°It¡¯s¡­¡­.¡± The escort¡¯s pupils visibly shook. He knew that what he would say next would incur Veloa¡¯s wrath. ¡°Tell me.¡± ¡°To put it bluntly, pregnancy¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Pregnancy? That filthy thing even carries a child?¡± In an instant, Veloa¡¯s voice sharpened. Flames seemed to flare up from the fierce eyes. ¡°N-no!¡± ¡°Then?¡± ¡°She has symptoms of pregnancy, but the doctor says she¡¯s not pregnant.¡± ¡°Is that possible?¡± Veloa frowned slightly. It was unpleasant but common to roll around with a vulgar slave. [T/N: To ¡°roll around (in the hay)¡± is an informal and old-fashioned term that refers to the act/instance of having intercourse.] And there was no reason to interfere with how other people used their things. Of course, that was only valid on the premise that the existence of the thing was unknown. ¡°That¡¯s what the doctor said.¡± ¡°The doctor may have misdiagnosed. Did you ask the other doctors?¡± ¡°The people here are very wary of outsiders and have absolute trust in the Grand Duke of Schwarhan. It wasn¡¯t easy to find someone willing to talk. I barely got the doctor to open his mouth.¡± ¡°You have too many useless excuses.¡± Veloa irritably threw down her fan. She could tolerate him having a slave but not a child. Whether it was the stigma of an illegitimate child, or a slave as a mother, in the end, half of the child would still inherit Cabellenus¡¯s blood. Even if it were impure, as long as the child inherited his blood, they would become a hindrance. ¡°As expected, I¡¯ll have to deal with that slave b*tch as soon as possible.¡± ¡°Firstly, for now¡­¡­.¡± ¡°We have to get rid of it now. It¡¯ll become difficult if that filthy b*tch really has a baby. Even the emperor of the great empire had a lowly mother. We can¡¯t say that the child of a slave will have no chances of succession.¡± ¡°Princess, to say such a thing¡­¡­.¡± The escort looked around hastily, but Veloa didn¡¯t care at all. ¡°So what? It¡¯s not like I made up those words. Everyone knows that the Emperor is nothing but the descendant of a Roaquin¡¯s dancer.¡± ¡°He¡¯s the Emperor of the Empire. Even if he doesn¡¯t have a strong background, to insult him¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t care. When I become the empress, I¡¯ll take care of that dirty bloodline first.¡± Veloa pursed his lips. She didn¡¯t Gerpenus very much. She was just being polite since he was currently sitting on the throne. He may be elated now that he was emperor, but his mother was just a dancer who was offered as a tribute. No matter what he did, the birth of a barbarian would never change. ¡°Princess¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Thanks to the Emperor, the precedent of an emperor with a vulgar mother has risen, so I don¡¯t have to worry about that.¡± Although the succession of illegitimate children wasn¡¯t recognized except in unique cases, there was always room for precedents. ¡°Don¡¯t look at me like that. Anyway, for now, I need his help. Oh, that¡¯s right. Since the situation is like this, I¡¯m going to ask for his help.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you think it¡¯ll be quite interesting to see how the Emperor, who has been suffering all his life due to his lineage, would react if he heard that there would be a child similar to himself?¡± Gerpenus was busy pretending to be a good brother, but in the end, it was Cabellenus¡¯s lineage that made his half-brother special. It was clear how he would react once he heard that Cabellenus¡¯s lineage was tainted. ¡°But she doesn¡¯t actually have a child.¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter.¡± ¡°If the Emperor discovers that you lied to him¡­¡­.¡± ¡°There are many excuses. Weak things die quickly, and above all, it¡¯s a pregnancy that the doctors aren¡¯t even sure about. I may have been mistaken.¡± Of course, it would be better if they found out she had a real child. Veloa gently combed her hair with a more relaxed expression. It was irritating, but it didn¡¯t matter whether she had a child or not. She had no intention of letting the blood of a slave be born on this land. ¡°And, what if he discovers it was a lie? The seat next to the Grand Duke is mine, so in the end, wouldn¡¯t the Emperor be unable to do anything to me?¡± Because she was special. A confident smile spread across Veloa¡¯s lips. * * * ¡°Your Majesty. You have a call came from Princess Veloa.¡± ¡°To call me at this hour. Did that cunning princess bring me an interesting story?¡± It was nearly time to prepare for the harvest. Gerpenus laid down the documents he was looking at and leaned against the back of his chair. ¡°Shall I connect you with her right away?¡± ¡°No. Refuse it now, and tell her to contact me again an hour later.¡± ¡°With that character of hers, I¡¯m sure she won¡¯t sit still. Will you be fine with that?¡± ¡°That¡¯s why I¡¯m ignoring her. To fire her up,¡± Gerpenus laughed leisurely and nodded. He could already imagine Veloa bursting into anger at him denying her call. ¡°The princess is on our side. Do you really need to provoke her?¡± Hans, the attendant, frowned. ¡°She is now.¡± ¡°You¡¯re thinking of throwing her away.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to keep her from the start. Such a woman doesn¡¯t suit Cabellenus.¡± Gerpenus was smiling, but his curved, green eyes were colder than the ice. ¡°Then, why did you send her? No matter how much I think about it, King Christie isn¡¯t the type of person Your Majesty prefers.¡± ¡°Let alone preference, he¡¯s a repulsive person. However, I really like people like Princess Veloa. It¡¯s good that she¡¯s swayed by emotions, easy to read, and has a lot of greed. Well, when I consider her conditions, it¡¯s a bit of a pity to throw her away.¡± ¡°You make the princess sound so great.¡± ¡°King Christie isn¡¯t cheap either. But I don¡¯t think the princess is capable of withstanding his power.¡± If she were a little less stupid, he would have reconsidered letting her become Cabellenus¡¯s wife. No matter how great the power was, it was no different from hanging pearls around a pig¡¯s neck if it wasn¡¯t used properly. Such a woman was no match for Cabellenus. Gerpenus clicked his tongue, revealing his regret without concealing it. ¡°May I ask what Your Majesty is thinking about?¡± ¡°It¡¯s about my brotherly consideration for my beloved brother.¡± ¡°Consideration?¡± ¡°Yes. Consideration.¡± Gerpenus put his clasped hands on his stomach and took a deep breath. He knew that Cabellenus would hate him for this, but he couldn¡¯t help it. It was better to be hated than to have Cabellenus affixed to a substandard woman. ¡°I still don¡¯t understand Your Majesty¡¯s intention.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve been assisting me for quite some time, and yet you still haven¡¯t caught on, Hans.¡± ¡°Your Majesty is a man who deceives allies. I still can¡¯t forget what happened during the Battle of Petan.¡± ¡°And yet you still continue to assist me.¡± ¡°Well, if it wasn¡¯t for me, no servant would be able to handle Your Majesty, whose like a poisonous snake.¡± Despite Hans¡¯s complaint, Gerpenus only smiled. Eventually, Hans frowned and glanced at his superior. ¡°It¡¯s rude for my attendant to have such an expression all the time.¡± ¡°You already know that I¡¯m such a rude person.¡± ¡°In any case, you know when to draw the line.¡± [T/N: To ¡°draw the line¡± means to put a limit on what you will do or allow to happen especially because it feels wrong.] ¡°It¡¯s a virtue of those serving the imperial family.¡± Hans answered calmly and arranged the dishevelled papers on Gerpenus¡¯s desk. Gerpenus¡¯s act of diverging from the topic meant that he had no intention of sharing his plans. ¡°It¡¯s funny. A mere attendant like you knows the line, but my dear brother doesn¡¯t.¡± ¡°The Duke isn¡¯t like that.¡± Hans shook his head. The Cabellenus he knew would never cross the line. Instead, he claimed the role of a faithful dog despite his noble status, and it was no different now. However, even though Gerpenus was currently in power as emperor, his position was still unstable. To put it bluntly, if Cabellenus were to strike Gerpenus with the forces behind him, there would be no guarantee whether it would end in a victory or defeat. ¡°You know best that he is a person who is lowering himself more than anyone else.¡± ¡°Then what am I supposed to do? Should I grant him permission to marry her and give them my blessings?¡± In the sarcastic remark, there was an unmistakable sense of emotion that was unlike Gerpenus. Hans paused for a moment. His superior was calm about other things, but he would always act like a different person whenever the topic of his half-brother came up. ¡°It must be a moment¡¯s interest. Even if Your Majesty doesn¡¯t intervene, it will be over soon.¡± Hans tried his best not to upset Gerpenus as much as possible. He didn¡¯t want the relationship between the two brothers to fall apart. If their relationship deteriorated, Gerpenus would be the one who would eventually suffer. ¡°That¡¯s just a wish,¡± Gerpenus let out a sigh, covering his eyes with his hands. ¡°How are you so sure?¡± Even if Cabellenus wanted to marry the slave, Hans didn¡¯t think much of it. He believed that it was unlike Cabellenus to be swept away by a moment of emotion, and he didn¡¯t think it would actually turn into a marriage. Hans believed that Cabellenus made a temporary wrong choice and would withdraw his marriage declaration soon. ¡°Because my opponent is Cabellenus.¡± The green eyes glistened through his fingers. He knew him well since he had watched his younger brother for a long time. Cabellenus had never failed to keep his words. And, this time, it would be the same. ¡°You have a sullen expression.¡± ¡°To be honest with you, we should be very cautious about offending the Grand Duke. And, more frankly, it would be nice if His Grace married a slave to lower his worth.¡± Even Hans, a close confidant of the emperor, could not deny the legitimacy of Cabellenus. Before she officially became the Emperor¡¯s wife, his mother, Empress Seon, was the only daughter of Duke Melta. And Duke Melta was the head of nobility. Even if the Empress had already passed away, the prestige of Duke Melta remained. If Cabellenus sought the throne, Duke Melta would be willing to bet everything for his one and only grandson. ¡°I¡¯ll never let that happen.¡± ¡°Why on earth does Your Majesty care about His Grace so much?¡± Hans knew well that Gerpenus held particular regard for Cabellenus, but he honestly couldn¡¯t understand it. If he considered the positions of the two men, the public rumour that Gerpenus kept Cabellenus in check and expelled him to Schwarhan were better suited than the current relationship. ¡°Because that child is special.¡± ¡°If it¡¯s legitimacy¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Legitimacy?¡± Gerpenus briefly scoffed, his face contorting. It wasn¡¯t just that. Apart from legitimacy, Cabellenus was special. ¡°As I repeatedly said, I¡¯m just guarding the seat. The next emperor is going to be Cabellenus. Of course, it should be, and it will be.¡± ¡°But Your Majesty¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I know Cabellenus has no interest in the throne.¡± Gerpenus¡¯s eyes darkened. The power struggle between the Emperor and his wife was filled with bloodshed, and the defeated empress had to live in disgrace. And, it was the same with Cabellenus, the Empress¡¯s descendant. In order to save his mother, his younger brother had to kneel before his father and beg for his life. ¡°My father ordered Cabellenus to renounce his succession to the throne and wander the battlefields.¡± ¡°How long do you think that promise will last?¡± ¡°There¡¯s no need to think about it. Cabellenus will still keep that promise.¡± After ascending the throne, Gerpenus offered Cabellenus the position of emperor and ordered him to return to the capital. However, instead of accepting the offer and returning to the capital, he asked for the cold, barren land, Schwarhan. ¡°That¡¯s the kind of child he is. A child who would never let go of what he once promised.¡± Gerpenus couldn¡¯t understand why he was so persistent, yet indifferent, in that regard. Gerpenus clicked his tongue and touched the tip of his chin with his thumb. ¡°If Cabellenus were going to stay in the position as Grand Duke, it wouldn¡¯t matter if he hung out with the slave.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°However, that child will become the emperor. Since that¡¯s the case, isn¡¯t it only right for him to have a woman that suits him?¡± Gerpenus¡¯s eyes curved like a long arc, resembling the shape of a crescent moon. Once everything was in order, he would select a woman worthy of Cabellenus. A woman of noble blood and dignity who would suit his younger brother. Chapter 49 - Explicit and Clear ¡°How¡¯s Alica?¡± ¡°She¡¯s asleep now.¡± ¡°How was today¡¯s meal?¡± ¡°She only had lemon water and some fruits.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll have to ask them to get more fruit,¡± Cabellenus muttered in a subdued voice. The fact that he had to accept the reality of her not being able to eat properly didn¡¯t feel very pleasant. Every time he saw Alicia, who was gradually becoming thinner, he could only feel a surge of frustration. ¡°We¡¯re not short of fruit. But¡­¡­.¡± Mrs Morco cautiously began, observing Cabellenus¡¯s countenance. Cabellenus noticed the anxiety on the old lady¡¯s face and immediately frowned. ¡°What¡¯s the matter?¡± ¡°My lady wanted to eat her mother¡¯s soup, so I looked for the ingredients¡­¡­.¡± ¡°How was the search?¡± Cabellenus interrupted even before Mrs Morco could finish. The only thing that was worth betting on was now the soup Alicia¡¯s mother made. ¡°I haven¡¯t found them all yet. But¡­¡­.¡± ¡°What is it? If there¡¯s a problem with the supply and demand of the ingredients, then¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Most of the ingredients in the soup are poisonous.¡± ¡°What?¡± A hot breath escaped from Cabellenus¡¯s mouth. He suddenly felt as if his head had been hit by a huge hammer. ¡°There is a possibility that they ate poisonous herbs without knowledge due to hunger, but I believe that is unlikely.¡± ¡°Why?¡± Cabellenus asked back in a slightly anxious voice. He didn¡¯t want to admit the assumption that came to mind. ¡°The famous poisonous plant, Pataran¡¯s roots, and even another ingredient, the flower of Vex, are both difficult to obtain as they only grow on cliffs, and they also aren¡¯t commonly found poisonous plants.¡± ¡°Do you know what that means?¡± ¡°Yes. I know. That¡¯s why I¡¯m only telling Your Grace and not my lady.¡± Mrs Morco gave a long sigh. Currently, Alicia was weak in body and mind. Alicia would collapse if she knew that her mother, whom she had loved so much, had tried to kill her. ¡°Is there any possibility that you were just mistaken? There are many similar plants.¡± ¡°Pataran and Vex are both plants that cannot be confused with others. In particular, for Vex, many people don¡¯t even know such a plant exists. It¡¯s impossible to know where the flower of Vex blooms if you aren¡¯t knowledgeable about plants.¡± Mrs Morco smiled bitterly. When Alicia spoke about her mother, Mrs Morco¡¯s heart ached at how happy Alicia was. ¡°¡­¡­Don¡¯t tell Alicia about this.¡± ¡°I also think the same way. What she needs now is psychological stability. So, I believe we should resume painting classes again.¡± ¡°Painting class?¡± A face instantly came to his mind at the mention of the word ¡°painting¡±. Cabellenus let out a brief sigh when he recalled the young painter who he wanted to forget. ¡°Since there are large psychological factors, I think it would be nice for her to do something that soothes her mind.¡± ¡°But¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Of course, the classes will be conducted without overwhelming her. I¡¯m going to continue watching from the side.¡± ¡°¡­¡­ I guess it will help.¡± The presence of the young painter was still annoying, but for now, Alicia¡¯s recovery was a priority. If it was any help at all, he had no choice but to concede. ¡°I don¡¯t know how useful it¡¯ll be, but I have to do everything I can right now.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°My lady has been wanting to paint.¡± ¡®Your Grace¡¯s picture.¡¯ Mrs Morco deliberately swallowed the last few words and only gave a faint smile. Fortunately, even if Alicia did not have her mother, she now had Cabellenus. * * * ¡°It¡¯s been a while.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± ¡°It¡¯s because my lady seems to have become a lot thinner during the time we did not meet.¡± He tried to act calm, but he couldn¡¯t stop his voice from shaking. James slightly wrinkled his nose as he glanced at Alicia, who was noticeably skinnier. He didn¡¯t know what happened to her while he was away, but what was certain was his heart sank the moment he saw her. ¡°I¡¯ve been a little sick.¡± ¡°What happened? Are you okay now?¡± ¡°I¡¯m all right.¡± Even though she didn¡¯t look well at all, Alicia casually said she was fine. James disliked the response, but he reflexively bit his lower lip. If he didn¡¯t shut his mouth, he thought he¡¯d say something useless. ¡°I¡¯m really all right. It¡¯s getting better.¡± Despite not being able to eat most foods, thanks to everyone¡¯s care, she was getting better little by little. ¡®I couldn¡¯t eat my mother¡¯s soup after all¡­¡­.¡¯ She tried not to show her disappointment, but she couldn¡¯t help it. Still, Alicia couldn¡¯t forget her mother¡¯s soup. ¡°May I ask what kind of disease it is?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not a disease. The doctor said it¡¯s just psychological.¡± ¡°Psychological?¡± ¡°The doctor said I¡¯ll be all right if I take it easy. That¡¯s why I started painting class again. When I learn painting from Nixon, I definitely feel at ease.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alicia did not explain any further, but that was enough for James. In the end, Alicia learned about the truth. Even if Cabellenus used all his power to block Alicia¡¯s ears, there were already many stories in Schwarhan that Cabellenus would be engaged on the premise of marriage. ¡®Sh*t.¡¯ James silently cursed, chewing on his innocent lips. His heart throbbed at the guilt of not being by her side when she was having a difficult time. ¡°My lady.¡± ¡°Yes, Nixon.¡± Contrary to James¡¯s chaotic mind, Alicia was just calm. But that only made James feel increasingly more complicated. Not only would the lady have to live in captivity like a dead person, even calling people by their name would be interfered with. It was clear that he would marry another woman, but the lady would have to be indifferent, and it would be endlessly pitiful. Just like his sister who died miserably. ¡°¡­¡­Are you really all right?¡± ¡°I¡¯m really okay, so don¡¯t worry about it. I¡¯ll get better soon.¡± A light smile spread across Alicia¡¯s mouth. As the symptoms continued, Alica became anxious, but that didn¡¯t mean she wasn¡¯t okay. It was completely different from the time when she had to endure it alone. Since she knew how much everyone cared for her, she wasn¡¯t afraid of the unknown illness. ¡°My lady¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t look like that. I¡¯m really okay.¡± Alicia smiled again, but in James¡¯s eyes, it just seemed pitiful. Even his deceased sister had such a face before she passed away. Despite the apparent misfortune, she laughed and said that it was okay as she wanted to trust the man she loved until the end. ¡°If I wasn¡¯t okay, I wouldn¡¯t have been able to fill up the sketchbook you gave me.¡± ¡°You¡¯ve already filled it all.¡± ¡°I happened to have a lot of spare time.¡± Alicia smiled awkwardly. There was no problem drawing even though her body was weak from not eating much. On the contrary, the only way to get rid of the nauseous feeling was to focus hard, so she had no choice but to pick up a pen from time to time. ¡°¡­¡­His Grace.¡± The sketchbook contained drawings of landscapes, Mrs Morco and a maid, but most of the sketches were of Cabellenus. ¡°I told you before that I wanted to draw a portrait of His Grace. So I¡¯ve been practising.¡± Alicia wiggled her fingers. She felt like her skills had improved, and she was quite satisfied with her drawings of people. But, oddly enough, whenever she drew Cabellenus, she always felt sad. When she drew the front view, she would want to draw the side view, and when she drew an expressionless face, she would want to draw a smiling expression. Unlike when Alicia just glanced at him, when she was drawing a picture, she had no choice but to focus more on the man¡¯s face, expressions, and even actions, and the more Alicia drew, the more she wanted to see him in person. ¡°How is it? Is it okay?¡± ¡°Yes, you drew really well,¡± James chuckled, but he couldn¡¯t take his eyes off Alicia¡¯s sketchbook. Drawings contained one¡¯s heart. Even without asking, he recognized what Alicia thought of Cabellenus, and it made him even more anxious. ¡°I think you can now paint a proper picture, not just a sketch.¡± ¡°Really?¡± ¡°If you don¡¯t mind, from now on, why don¡¯t you try painting directly on the canvas instead of just sketching?¡± ¡°I still don¡¯t think I¡¯m good enough. Will it be okay?¡± ¡°It¡¯s necessary to complete a painting for you to make progress. Imagine you¡¯re practising colouring and draw comfortably.¡± Alicia pondered for a moment and soon nodded. ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll do that. Instead, Nixon has to help a lot. All right?¡± ¡°Of course. Well, Mrs Morco, can I ask you to prepare the necessary tools?¡± Instead of answering, Mrs Morco nodded. James checked that Mrs Morco had left to prepare the tools and quickly spoke to Alicia. ¡°My lady.¡± ¡°What? Do you have something to say to me?¡± ¡°No matter what, I¡¯ll be on your side.¡± ¡°Huh?¡± Alicia¡¯s eyes widened at the unexpected promise. But James didn¡¯t stop talking. He didn¡¯t have much time to chat to Alicia while avoiding Cabellenus¡¯s watchdog. ¡°If you want to give up on everything, I can help you.¡± ¡°What do you mean? Why do I need to give up¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I know I¡¯m not in a position to say this, but I don¡¯t want my lady to end up like my sister.¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡­.¡± Alicia opened her mouth slightly. It turned out James misunderstood the relationship between Cabellenus and her. ¡°I roughly understand why Nixon is saying this, but my relationship with His Grace is not what you think.¡± ¡°Do you know what is in my mind for me to say this?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t show it then, but I knew what it meant to be a flower.¡± [T/N: In Chapter 39, James mentioned that his sister ¡°was a beautiful person as a flower¡± where he ambiguously tries to tell her that his sister met misfortune since she was ¡°a flower¡± i.e. a noble¡¯s lover.] ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I know you didn¡¯t mean any harm. So you don¡¯t need to feel bad. I know you said it because you were worried about me.¡± He could not understand why this woman was smiling in the midst of this. James¡¯s lips trembled so he firmly pressed it together. Even though it was an unpleasant topic, Alicia didn¡¯t look particularly upset as she spoke about it. ¡°But, I am not His Grace¡¯s lover.¡± She just drew a clear line, her eyes filled with confidence. ¡°My lady.¡± ¡°I trust His Grace. That¡¯s why I¡¯ll stay by his side, and I¡¯ll continue to do so.¡± ¡°¡­¡­You¡¯ll be unhappy.¡± ¡°I won¡¯t. I¡¯m happy to be by His Grace¡¯s side right now.¡± She used to be anxious, but not now. Now Alicia had confidence. ¡°You don¡¯t mind living in the shadows.¡± ¡°I will not be living in the shadows.¡± Alicia shook her head firmly. Cabellenus promised to take her as his wife. There was no reason to waver. ¡°His Grace will marry the Princess of Christie Kingdom.¡± ¡°There must be a misunderstanding, but His Grace¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t tell me you still don¡¯t know about it?¡± James¡¯s face crumpled noticeably. ¡°What do you mean?¡± Alicia stared blankly at James with a bewildered gaze. James¡¯s face became more wrinkled. ¡°He, of course¡­¡­.¡± ¡°My lady, I have brought the tools you asked for.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Is there a problem?¡± Mrs Morco, who was accompanied by a servant holding the art tools, tilted her head. Alicia took a quick deep breath and immediately shook her head. ¡°No. It¡¯s nothing.¡± ¡°My lady, if you¡¯re not feeling well¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯m fine. Could you set up the canvas right away? I want to paint.¡± Alicia was nervous that Mrs Morco would notice, but she only seemed concerned about Alicia¡¯s health and had no doubts. The smile that Mrs Morco had taught her had now reached a level that fooled her. Alicia was relieved by that fact and grabbed the pen, pretending to be all right. But, no matter how much she tried to concentrate, she couldn¡¯t help but worry about what James couldn¡¯t say. ¡®The Princess of Christie Kingdom¡­¡­. Perhaps, it¡¯s the youngest princess?¡¯ Alicia¡¯s eyelashes shook like petals fluttering in the wind. She had never actually been there, but she heard about the Kingdom of Christie. Her half-sisters always talked about the youngest princess of Christie Kingdom. They frequently complain that the rumours were exaggerated and that if Neinstein were stronger than Christie, they, themselves, would become the most beautiful women on the continent. When her thoughts reached that point, Alicia couldn¡¯t draw any more and put the pen down. It wasn¡¯t that she didn¡¯t believe in Cabellenus. The Cabellenus she encountered wasn¡¯t a man who would lie to win her heart. James must have misunderstood. Nonetheless, she couldn¡¯t help but feel upset. After all, no matter what, Cabellenus was hers. Whatever the reason, the sensation of being robbed of what was hers wasn¡¯t pleasant at all. She was jealous. This feeling was very explicit and clear. Chapter 50 - One More Time ¡°You were awake.¡± ¡°I wanted to talk to you about something, so I waited.¡± ¡°To me?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Her nodding head was as adorable as a bobblehead doll. Cabellenus sat beside her with a smile on his lips. Even though he didn¡¯t want her to have a tough time waiting, he couldn¡¯t help but feel happy when he saw her waiting for him. ¡°What do you want to talk about with such a serious face?¡± ¡°It¡¯s an important conversation.¡± Alicia repeatedly nodded as if she had made up her mind. She wanted to talk more with James, but she couldn¡¯t speak comfortably because of Mrs Morco. If she spoke nonsense in front of Mrs Morco, James would be in trouble. And, in the first place, this was a matter between herself and Cabellenus. Listening to James, who was a third party, wouldn¡¯t solve the problem. ¡°I don¡¯t know what it¡¯s about, but feel free to speak. I¡¯ll listen to everything you say.¡± ¡°Well¡­¡­.¡± Alicia picked her words carefully as Cabellenus touched her. At first, she was worried about whether she could say it, but she was comforted by the affection that lingered in his touch as he brushed her hair. ¡°Do you have another woman besides me?¡± ¡°¡­¡­What?¡± The wrinkles were clearly visible on Cabellenus¡¯s smooth forehead. Alicia did not remove her gaze even when she saw the man¡¯s crumpled face. She wanted to hear the truth directly from him and not from anyone else. ¡°Where did you hear that?¡± ¡°Do you have another woman?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Why can¡¯t you speak? Is there really another woman?¡± This time, Alicia¡¯s expression became distorted. Only then did Cabellenus come to his senses and hurriedly grabbed her by the shoulder. ¡°No. Nothing like that.¡± ¡°Really?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± The glimpse of doubt he detected in her gaze caused Cabellenus to let out a laugh. The appearance of her trying to harden her gaze to look strong just looked cute rather than scary in his eyes. ¡°By the way, why did you hesitate?¡± Now she knew how to ask questions, too. Cabellenus burst into laughter again at the sight of Alicia looking like a cat with its fur raised. In the past, he couldn¡¯t figure out why everyone liked small animals, but now he thought he could understand it a bit. ¡°Why are you laughing and not answering me?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t expect you to say that.¡± ¡°You told me to be honest.¡± ¡°That¡¯s right. I did.¡± It was always pleasing to see the woman trying to change little by little without getting bound by the past. Cabellenus lowered his head and lightly kissed Alicia¡¯s lips. Alicia blushed with embarrassment, but her eyes were still full of strength ¨C it was as if she had no intention of giving up until she received an answer. ¡°Even if you don¡¯t make that face, I¡¯m yours.¡± ¡°Really?¡± ¡°How can I make you believe me?¡± Cabellenus softened his voice as much as possible. Alicia leaned her cheek against Cabellenus¡¯s hand with a bashful expression. No matter how carefully he stroked her cheeks, the calluses that covered his hands rubbed her cheeks every time. But Alicia loved his hard hands. She loved his body temperature that was higher than others, the hands that were large enough to cover her face, and even the calluses that made his hands look unattractive. Of course, her favourite thing was the man¡¯s eyes. The peculiar eyes, reminiscent of a beast, were intimidating, but Alicia knew how sweet the eyes were when they looked at her ¡°I want you to be a model.¡± ¡°Model? What for?¡± ¡°A model for a painting.¡± ¡°That¡¯s¨C¡± ¡°I want to draw you.¡± Alicia took the lead before Cabellenus could finish his words. She had already drawn his picture countless times, but that was not enough. She wanted to properly and perfectly capture the man¡¯s appearance on the canvas. ¡°It wouldn¡¯t be very interesting to paint something like me.¡± ¡°No way. Your Grace is very interesting.¡± Cabellenus was momentarily rendered speechless at the opinion of him that he had never heard before. Alicia seemed too sincere for him to say that she was only trying to please him. ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯ve never heard that I¡¯m interesting.¡± ¡°Your Grace is a very interesting person. And¡­¡­.¡± ¡°And?¡± ¡°You¡¯re pretty ¨C very much so.¡± ¡°That¡¯s also a fairly strange assessment of me.¡± It had been a while since someone had called him pretty. Cabellenus frowned, retracing the memories that no longer crossed his mind. He probably heard it when he was young, but Cabellenus hadn¡¯t heard it since he started wandering the battlefield. ¡°And, you¡¯re also very handsome.¡± ¡°I think I¡¯ve heard that a few times.¡± ¡°Not a few times. You must have heard it a lot.¡± ¡°Is that so?¡± Cabellenus glanced sideways at Alicia¡¯s countenance. This time again, Alicia was sincere. That fact made him feel unexpectedly good. He thought appearances didn¡¯t mean much, but the praises from Alicia¡¯s mouth sounded pleasant. ¡°That¡¯s why I¡¯m in trouble.¡± ¡°Why are you in trouble?¡± ¡°It¡¯s quite difficult to capture it entirely on the canvas.¡± ¡°It sounds like you¡¯ve drawn me before?¡± ¡°¡­¡­You¡¯re not going to get angry, are you?¡± It was against the rules for someone to say everything they had to say and then step away from it. Cabellenus relaxed his shoulders as he looked at the unpredictable woman. ¡°Why would I be angry?¡± ¡°¡­¡­I actually drew Your Grace many times.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°Well, I wanted to draw you the most.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Cabellenus swallowed down a lump in his throat. ¡°Why are you looking at me like that?¡± ¡°After hearing your words, I want to see the pictures you drew.¡± He wasn¡¯t interested in art, but the subject kept coming up like this, so he had no choice but to be interested. Cabellenus raised the corners of his mouth mischievously as he watched her act shy and meek. ¡°That¡¯s a little¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Difficult?¡± Cabellenus tilted his head. Alicia stared blankly at the figure before her and swallowed dryly. Again, she wanted to draw the image of Cabellenus right now rather than secretly remember it so she could sketch it later. She wanted to remember this moment forever by capturing it all on a canvas. ¡°It¡¯s not good enough, so I¡¯ll show you later once I draw it properly.¡± ¡°I want to see it now.¡± Cabellenus stealthily approached even closer. Alicia wasn¡¯t particularly vigilant. Even her upper body was inclined to one side. ¡°It¡¯s embarrassing.¡± ¡°The drawing I saw the other day looked really good.¡± He liked that she wasn¡¯t wary of him, but it also bothered him. With contradictory feelings, Cabellenus brazenly held Alicia¡¯s face. It wasn¡¯t until the distance was so close that their noses were touching that Alicia¡¯s face turned bright red. ¡°Well, that¡¯s because Nixon helped me.¡± ¡°Nixon¡­¡­¡± ¡°It¡¯s James¡¯s surname. Your Grace said it was unpleasant for me to call James by his name¡­¡± ¡°I did. But¡­¡­.¡± Would she regard him as narrow-minded if he told her that even saying his surname was unpleasant? Cabellenus looked at Alicia for a moment. Even though the woman got used to it, he was satisfied with how she blushed at his gaze. ¡°Don¡¯t you remember me saying something else back then?¡± ¡°Something else?¡¯ ¡°My name.¡± He wanted to continue making her feel uncomfortable so that he could check the effect he had on her. ¡°That¡¯s¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Is it still too much? Or, maybe you have to speak up like before¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Stop it!¡± Recognizing Cabellenus¡¯s intention, Alicia reflexively reached out and covered his mouth. However, once triggered, the man¡¯s pranks did not stop. ¡°I-I¡­¡­!¡± The soft touch on her palm made Alicia stiffen, and she couldn¡¯t even say another word. Her eyes, which had grown so large, constantly shook. At that moment, the man¡¯s hand wrapped around Alicia¡¯s wrist. The slender wrist was captured effortlessly by one of the man¡¯s hands. ¡°I-I made a mistake¡­¡­ huu.¡± Alicia couldn¡¯t speak anymore and bit her lips. Even though Cabellenus could easily take her hands off, he didn¡¯t. Instead, he kissed her tender skin gently. Alicia looked at Cabellenus with an uneasy gaze. It would be nice if he said something, but he didn¡¯t. He was only willing to bury his mouth in Alicia¡¯s palm and remain silent. Alicia could only wriggle her innocent fingers. Even though he was only pressing his lips against her palm without any other movement, her mouth dried up for no reason. A fever of heat seemed to rise from the place where his lips touched. ¡°L-let me go.¡± Alicia, who couldn¡¯t stand it anymore, slipped her hands away. Now there was a slight gap between them. Alicia breathed a sigh of relief. Of course, it was for a very brief moment. ¡°I don¡¯t want to let go.¡± Alicia immediately regretted her actions when she felt someone¡¯s breath gently brush her skin. However, there was no way out. Although he wasn¡¯t using any force, she couldn¡¯t get out of the man¡¯s grasp. No, perhaps she didn¡¯t want to. Alicia stared at the glimmer of gold that shone subtly between the man¡¯s curved eyes. The eyes with prominent pupils clearly resemble those of a predator¡¯s. ¡°If you don¡¯t like it, you can push me away.¡± He hoped that she wouldn¡¯t push him away. Cabellenus¡¯s lips landed on the tender skin of her inner wrist. Alicia watched the figure before her with anxious eyes. She couldn¡¯t take her eyes away from the man¡¯s inhuman look that sent a chill down her spine. She couldn¡¯t deny that she really liked the man¡¯s greed as he kissed both wrists alternately as if swallowing his prey little by little. Alicia hesitated and took a deep breath. Then, she opened her mouth while looking at the man, straight in the eye. ¡°¡­¡­Cabellenus.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± She was only calling his name, but her heart was beating so fast. Alicia pretended not to notice her flushed cheeks and moved her stiff lips to call the man¡¯s name again. ¡°Cabellenus.¡± It was hard at first, but the name she called again came out easier than the first time. Alicia said the man¡¯s name once more with a more confident face. And at that moment, the view suddenly changed. ¡°¡­¡­Please say my name one more time.¡± The hand that had he captured was released, but she still couldn¡¯t move. Alicia looked up at the man¡¯s face and swallowed dryly. She suddenly felt a soft cushion behind her back. Only then did Alicia realise that she was lying in bed. ¡°One more time.¡± He buried his face against Alicia¡¯s nape like a child. Alicia¡¯s face burned red again at the breath that tickled her throat every time he spoke. Alicia pursed her lips and then carefully opened her mouth again. ¡°Cabellenus¡­¡­.¡± Nevertheless, she didn¡¯t want to leave the man¡¯s arms. She¡¯d be lying if she wasn¡¯t embarrassed, but she liked the man who was clinging to her. ¡°Cabellenus von Schwarhan Blanche.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°As expected, the name is too long to say,¡± Alicia muttered as if complaining. The long name was a symbol of power, so everyone envied it. Still, Alicia sometimes wished that Cabellenus¡¯s name was not so long. He was a good man, but there were moments where it felt more difficult to hold him in her arms. ¡°Then, call me whatever you want.¡± ¡°Can I do that?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Alicia. A soft, low-pitched voice rang in her ears. Alicia stretched out her arms and hugged Cabellenus. However, no matter how hard it was, she didn¡¯t want to let go. She now knew that something as simple as calling his name made him happy, so she couldn¡¯t give up. If she hadn¡¯t tasted it at all, she wouldn¡¯t have known about it. It wasn¡¯t easy to forget the taste she already experienced, just like how saliva naturally accumulated in her mouth when she thought of lemons. Alicia slowly tightened her arms around Cabellenus¡¯s neck. The man¡¯s face gradually got closer, and his lips overlapped with hers. Then, at that moment, Alicia¡¯s face distorted. ¡°W-wait¡­¡­!¡± Alicia urgently pushed Cabellenus¡¯s shoulder away with her hand and hit him roughly. ¡°What is it? Are you feeling unwell again?¡± Cabellenus immediately rose up to check Alicia¡¯s complexion due to her uncharacteristic violent behaviour. Even though her hands were covering her mouth, he could tell that her condition was unusual just by looking at her pale, tired face. ¡°N-No¡­¡­ wait¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Tell me the symptoms, no. I¡¯ll call the doctor right now.¡± ¡°I-I¡¯m fine, eurppp¡­¡­!¡± No matter how hard she tried, she couldn¡¯t suppress the feeling of nausea. It felt like she had to clear out everything inside her stomach to calm the rumbling. Alicia couldn¡¯t hold back the feeling of nausea and roughly shoved Cabellenus away, bolting out of her seat as if to escape. In the end, all that was left in the bedroom was Cabellenus with a bewildered expression on his face. Chapter 51 - Rumours and Facts ¡°¡­¡­Your Grace?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Your Grace.¡± It wasn¡¯t until he was called again that Cabellenus turned his gaze. Veloa sat across from him with a disgruntled expression. ¡°What did you just say?¡± ¡°You seem to be thinking of something else while in front of me.¡±. Veloa picked up the teacup with a smile. The spreading scent of tea softly hovered at the tip of her nose, but her mood was twisted. Cabellenus wasn¡¯t interested in her, and Gerpenus was pulling the rug from under her feet despite previously behaving like he would give his all. [T/N: pull the rug (out) from under (someone¡¯s) feet means to suddenly remove/rescind support, help, or assistance from someone, leaving them in a problematic situation.] At this rate, she would be in trouble in many ways. If she returned without any outcome, it was clear what everyone would think of her. Especially her older sister, who once told her that she would hurt herself if she acted so arrogantly. She didn¡¯t want other people to look down on her, but it was even more unacceptable for her sister to look at her like that. Anyway, it was rather unfitting for her sister to try to teach a subject that she wasn¡¯t any better at herself. ¡°It¡¯s not just anything. I said I will give Your Grace what you want.¡± ¡°What I want?¡± ¡°Of course, there is also a condition that Your Grace will have to give me what I want.¡± Depending on the situation, she was thinking of stepping aside moderately, but now that was meaningless. Cabellenus¡¯s conditions were excellent. It would be harder to find a man with more conditions than that. No matter what trick she used, she had to have him. ¡°Tell me.¡± ¡°Please propose to me. With such splendour and grandeur that everyone knows.¡± ¡°Is that all?¡± ¡°And, before we get married, send me flowers and gifts every week, and come see me often. I want everyone to think that Your Grace is obsessed with me and clinging to me. That¡¯s all I want.¡± Veloa gave an innocent smile. Of course, that wasn¡¯t all she wanted, but it was still enough. The relationship with Cabellenus itself would help her. ¡°Then, what will you do for me in return?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll give you the wizards under me.¡± ¡°Wizards?¡± ¡°I heard that Schwarhan only has spirit stones and lacks the skills to use them properly. If Your Grace accepts my offer, I will send the wizards under me to pass on the skills to the wizards of Schwarhan.¡± ¡°Can you do it?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s eyes narrowed. ¡°There are fifteen wizards under me. All of them are highly proficient and will be adequate help to Your Grace.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯s a bad deal.¡± It was undeniably a good offer. There weren¡¯t many wizards because one had to be born with the ability to control mana, and it was tougher to find a wizard with the ability to handle the spirit stones due to the difference in talent. Even if he counted all the wizards in Schwarhan, he wouldn¡¯t be able to fold all his fingers. [T/N: He¡¯s saying they don¡¯t even have 10 wizards in Schwarhan.] ¡°Your father won¡¯t allow it.¡± Magical skills, as well as wizards, were strictly monitored as they were precious. That was why he couldn¡¯t get his hands on the magical technology of the Christie Kingdom. Frankly, it was remarkable how Gerpenus even managed to bring Veloa here. ¡°You don¡¯t need his permission. Currently, my father cannot work.¡± ¡°What are you talking about?¡± ¡°My father, the king, is not in good health. He must have been overwhelmed by work.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°Currently, Christie Kingdom is fighting over the succession of the throne, and my eldest brother is being considered as the next king.¡± ¡°Are you allowed to tell me that?¡± ¡°Well, I don¡¯t think Your Grace would miss this chance. Unless it¡¯s a time of chaos, it¡¯s hard to get what you want. Doesn¡¯t Your Grace know that better than anyone?¡± Veloa raised her head proudly. There was already a triumphant smile on her lips. It was a famous story that Schwarhan had always been desperate for magical skills. ¡°I hate speaking vaguely, so I¡¯ll tell you right away. Love me.¡± Veloa smiled with her hand on her chest. ¡°I didn¡¯t expect the princess to say such a thing.¡± ¡°Love is not a big deal. Love is to about giving someone what they desire.¡± The diamond bracelet on Veloa¡¯s wrist glistened under the light. The bracelet covered with multiple large diamonds was so beautiful that it distracted people¡¯s hearts. ¡°I hate ¡®love¡¯ that is all talk and no action. I want ¡®love¡¯ that is visible.¡± Veloa nonchalantly touched the surface of the jewel. As a child, whenever her nanny read fairy tales and talked about pure love, she didn¡¯t feel impressed. She wasn¡¯t pleased with the stories of beautiful words or sweet advances. There were many more beautiful and attractive things in the world. Veloa never forgot how she felt when she wore her first piece of jewellery, a necklace. The necklace, which was so heavy that she feared her neck would tilt, caught everyone¡¯s attention and made her the subject of jealousy and envy. That day, what Veloa learned was that beauty and power were no different. The bigger the jewels, the more famous the designer¡¯s dress, and the more she dressed up to look more beautiful than others, the more it became the power that supported her. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter how you actually feel about me, but others have to believe that you love me.¡± ¡°The princess seems to think highly of herself.¡± ¡°Is there any reason I can¡¯t?¡± Veloa glanced at Cabellenus with a contemplative gaze. ¡°As far as I know, the princess doesn¡¯t get along very well with her brothers.¡± ¡°Why does that matter?¡± ¡°I personally know that there are usually two ways to deal with the bloodline that you don¡¯t like to see. Kill it or use it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°However, the princess is young and beautiful, and she is constantly been courted, so I believe she would choose to use it rather than to kill it.¡± ¡®Isn¡¯t that right?¡¯ Cabellenus slowly swept the tip of his chin with his thumb. The situation in the Christie Kingdom, which Veloa revealed, was already known through his investigation. ¡°When the first prince ascends the throne, he will firstly push for the marriage of the princess. He will select someone who can pay the highest price but is also not strong enough to threaten his position. That¡¯s the reason why the princess took the risk to reach out to me.¡± ¡°What about it?¡± ¡°It means that the situation for the princess is not very good, and usually those who are in a crisis suffer losses in the deal.¡± Cabellenus glanced at Gazeff standing behind Veloa¡¯s back. Given the timing, he naturally thought that Gerpenus had approached Veloa. However, with the information provided by his competent deputy, he discovered that Veloa was the one who made contact first. It wasn¡¯t very complex to infer that Veloa¡¯s situation wasn¡¯t that good. ¡°You mean you want something bigger than what I suggested?¡± ¡°The princess is not my saviour, but rather, it¡¯s the opposite.¡± ¡°That will change if you know how great my wizards are.¡± Now that her situation was revealed, it was depressing, but Veloa didn¡¯t budge a bit. ¡°If the princess says it like that, then they must be great people.¡± ¡°Of course they¡¯re great. They¡¯re wizards of the fifth circle.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s eyes changed in an instant. The circle was used to classify the level of the wizard. The higher the number, the better the skill, and the skill differed significantly depending on the number of circles. A wizard of the first circle alone was considered a great skill, needless to mention a wizard who reached the fifth circle. ¡°I don¡¯t think Your Grace, who is interested in magic, won¡¯t know the meaning of the circles.¡± ¡°Wouldn¡¯t it be more difficult to bring wizards of the fifth circle?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not difficult. And if it¡¯s all right with Your Grace, I can give you not only the magical technology but also the wizards.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Of course, it depends on how well Your Grace listens to my requests.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s brow narrowed slightly. It was definitely a much more attractive proposal than before. He already knew from experience that it was better to hire a proper wizard than to hire a bunch of clumsy wizards. The research conducted by the Schwarhan¡¯s wizards was centred around one wizard of the third circle while the rest of the lower circle wizards just assisted. ¡°Don¡¯t think too deeply. As Your Grace knows, I don¡¯t have much time, as many people want me. It¡¯s not that hard to get another position. Schwarhan isn¡¯t the only one who¡¯s hungry for magic.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If you¡¯re really worried about it, I¡¯ll give you a three-day grace period. And during that time, I¡¯ll tell you how to make magical tools, one tool per day.¡± ¡°Is it okay to pass the method for crafting magical tools so easily?¡± Although Cabellenus had nothing to lose from Veloa¡¯s proposal, his doubts remained. Veloa casually revealed her secrets, but she still did not disclose everything. As if she would never bow her head, she held her head up high and said what she wanted to say because she had breathing room. [T/N: To have ¡°breathing room¡± means to have sufficient space to fit or accomplish something.] He needed to find out what was the hidden agenda in that little head. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter. It¡¯s a common production method in the Christie Kingdom anyway, and above all, I have the confidence.¡± ¡°What are confident about?¡± ¡°Your Grace is not the type to finish eating only a part of something.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Once you¡¯ve tasted the food, you will swallow it to the end. If you weren¡¯t capable of doing that then there would be no reason for you to grasp onto power, right?¡± Veloa¡¯s eyes smoothly formed an arc. She didn¡¯t know about Gerpenus, who was obsessed with being a good brother, but the Cabellenus she saw wasn¡¯t the type who would be underneath anyone. If he really was just a loyal dog, there was no reason for him to hang onto Schwarhan with such eyes. ¡°I¡¯m greedy. And, I like people who are greedy.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I will satisfy Your Grace¡¯s greed, and so will you with mine.¡± She did not know what Schwarhan meant to Cabellenus. However, one thing was clear. The man, who was always indifferent to her, was obsessed with this harsh land. And, if she searched through that obsession, she could finally find the greed that he couldn¡¯t hide. Knowing this, Veloa liked Cabellenus very much. And, she never missed out on something she liked. * * * ¡°You¡¯re working harder today.¡± ¡°His Grace decided to become a model, so I¡¯m going to practice a little more before then.¡± Alicia¡¯s pen gently glided up and down the canvas, drawing a line. She was now familiar with the scraping sound of the pen, and it was no longer hard to complete a sketch. All she wanted to do was draw what she wanted and finish it with affection. ¡°He¡¯s too busy right now, but sooner or later¡­¡­.¡± Alicia squeezed her mouth shut at the gaze she felt on her face while chattering excitedly about Cabellenus. She told him he was wrong, but James still seemed to harbour a misunderstanding. ¡°James.¡± ¡°Yes, my lady.¡± Alicia stared at James quietly. The man¡¯s gaze on her was too affectionate to say it was purely due to his job. And, it was not for her, but for the sister he couldn¡¯t protect. That fact pierced her heart because James was like how she seemed when she couldn¡¯t protect her mother. In the end, Alicia couldn¡¯t stand it and put the pen down. ¡°Mrs Morco.¡± ¡°Yes, my lady.¡± ¡°I¡¯d like to eat some fruit. Can you bring it to me?¡± ¡°Of course. I¡¯ll be right back.¡± Mrs Morco nodded with a brightened face. The mere fact that Alicia wanted something to eat was a great joy for Mrs Morco. ¡°You can talk comfortably now, right?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I told you before, but I wanted to say that it wasn¡¯t like that. His Grace has formally decided to take me as his wife, and¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Currently, the Princess of Christie Kingdom resides in Schwarhan Castle.¡± James interrupted Alicia¡¯s words and looked at her silently. ¡®Just in case.¡¯ Although he knew about the life of aristocrats, he hoped that Alicia wouldn¡¯t get hurt. He didn¡¯t want to see the pure eyes filled with trust completely crumble down. ¡°Even if the princess is staying in the castle, it doesn¡¯t matter.¡± Alicia shook her head firmly. Cabellenus clearly said that there was no woman other than herself. She believed that. His affectionate gaze meant more than a hundred words so she knew that every single action was sincere, and she didn¡¯t have any doubts. ¡°Even if His Grace is buying a myriad of jewels, dresses and all sorts of luxuries for the princess?¡± ¡°There must be some misunderstanding.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not a misunderstanding.¡± ¡°It¡¯s easy to generate any number of rumours.¡± ¡°They¡¯re not rumours. It¡¯s a fact.¡± ¡°A fact?¡± Alicia¡¯s eyes narrowed, but James looked straight at her and continued talking rather than stopping. ¡°Yesterday, there was an announcement publicising the engagement between His Grace and the Princess.¡± Chapter 52 - A Crack It felt like she plunged into ice water. Her mind went blank, but she could hear the words that she didn¡¯t want to hear very clearly. ¡°Don¡¯t talk nonsense.¡± Alicia clenched her teeth. Even James had a line he could not cross. He couldn¡¯t insult Cabellenus with any more of this nonsense. ¡°My lady.¡± ¡°His Grace is not the type of man who would do such a thing.¡± ¡°My sister said the same thing as what my lady said.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Even though everyone dissuaded her from doing so, she just said that her lover was different from other aristocrats and that he loved and cherished her very much. But the only thing that came back was cold scorn and ridicule.¡± James closed his eyes as he couldn¡¯t bear to look at Alicia. He didn¡¯t want to see her shaky eyes and pity her, but it couldn¡¯t be helped. Their relationship wasn¡¯t going to work anyway. Even if it was painful, it was better to cut it off as soon as possible and return to reality. No matter what Alicia did, she couldn¡¯t be happy with Cabellenus. Their two worlds were completely different. ¡°No. His Grace is very different.¡± James opened his eyes again at the sound of her strong voice. The gaze that he thought would naturally collapse did not shake. ¡°I know it¡¯s a difficult reality for the lady to accept right now, but you have to acknowledge it.¡± ¡°What do you want me to acknowledge?¡± ¡°The seat next to him is not yours.¡± ¡°If it¡¯s not mine, whose is it?¡± Alicia glared coldly at James. ¡°Even if it¡¯s cruel, that¡¯s the reality.¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°My lady.¡± ¡°His Grace promised. He promised to give it to me.¡± Alicia shook her head roughly, clenching her teeth. Cabellenus was hers. He was her man, not anyone else¡¯s. It was unacceptable to deny that fact. ¡°Anyone can talk. I can act as if I¡¯m going to take out all my organs or say that I¡¯ll pick out all the stars in the sky. But those are just words.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I see my sister whenever I look at you. My sister blindly trusted the man and wanted to leave her family to run away with him. However, she was abandoned miserably and eventually hanged herself on her wedding night.¡± James took a deep breath to hold back his anger. Even though it was a long time ago, whenever he recalled the memories of that day, the blood in his whole body seemed to boil. ¡°I¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I know you¡¯re telling me it¡¯s different. It¡¯s hard to acknowledge, and it¡¯s hard to accept. But if one day, when your mind settles, I hope that you would remember me at least once.¡± James¡¯s voice was mixed with emotion. It would have been better if she had confided in him at least once and received some comfort, but his sister just suffered alone and eventually hung herself and died. Perhaps the shock was too great. Or was it because he was younger than her, so she felt like she couldn¡¯t rely on him? Even after accepting that his sister had left, James didn¡¯t know why but he would always unconsciously think that way. At that time, he wondered if the worst outcome would still have happened if his sister had any shadow of protection that she could rely on. ¡°Even though I¡¯m only a humble painter, I can afford to help you. That¡¯s what I wanted to tell you.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t hear anything.¡± ¡°I got it. You can say that, too.¡± She wanted to pour out harsh words, but when she saw the faint smile followed by his sombre words, she couldn¡¯t think of anything else. Alicia chewed her lips and eventually turned her head away from James. She pressed her chest with her palm, trying to ignore her feelings, but to no avail. Her heart was beating, and it was pounding very quickly. * * * ¡°Have you heard from His Grace?¡± ¡°Yes. His Grace said it would be difficult for him to come for a while.¡± ¡®Why? How come? Was it because the story I heard was true?¡¯ Alicia swallowed the questions that couldn¡¯t pass through her throat. She wanted to believe in him without any doubt, but seeing the empty bed made her feel the absence of Cabellenus even more. ¡°My lady, would you like a cup of tea?¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s okay. I¡¯m just going to sleep.¡± ¡°Okay. Then I¡¯ll help you to bed.¡± Mrs Morco covered Alicia with a blanket and then waited for a while until her breath picked up before leaving. Unbeknownst to Mrs Morco, as soon as she closed the door, the grey eyes immediately fluttered opened. Alicia looked around and carefully stood up. In the meticulously curtained room, there was no light in sight. Alicia stared blankly into the air. She knew that lately, she had become very emotional. That was most likely why she couldn¡¯t seem to forget about James¡¯s words. But even though she was aware of that, she couldn¡¯t seem to calm down. ¡°His Grace wouldn¡¯t do that.¡± Alicia tried to dispel her thoughts by patting her cheeks lightly, but she failed to erase the remaining doubts. In James¡¯s story, Cabellenus was no different from what she remembered. Day by day, he brought all kinds of precious things in his arms and promised her the seat beside him. Knowing that fact better than anyone else, Alicia felt nervous. So she wanted to ask Cabellenus, and at the same time, she didn¡¯t want to. She was afraid that when she faced Cabellenus, he would look at her coldly. ¡®Would it be better if I had a child?¡¯ Alicia shook her head helplessly. Although she knew that a good parent wouldn¡¯t think like this, she still had that idea. If the child could become a shackle that held onto Cabellenus, then she thought it wouldn¡¯t be unfavourable. ¡®¡­¡­I-I really don¡¯t deserve to be a parent.¡¯ Alicia¡¯s shoulders droop downwards. It was shameful that she, and not anyone else, tried to treat her child as a tool. In the end, she felt disgusted as she quickly realised that half the child¡¯s blood would belong to hers. Alicia¡¯s hand slowly glided down. It had become a habit to touch her flat belly. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, my baby.¡± Even if the child didn¡¯t exist, she felt sorry that she hadn¡¯t thought about it for a while. And, sometimes, she felt like there was someone in there. Alicia leaned against the back of the bed, pressing down the feelings of melancholy. The sensation of the hardwood reminded her of the memories she had forgotten, but she tried hard to ignore it and quietly closed her eyes. ¡°I¡¯ve heard of such a story before. The story said that children watch their parents before they are born. In the past, I didn¡¯t think much of it, but these days I keep thinking about it.¡± If the story was true, then the baby must be watching her. Her fingers stiffened. Even now, she didn¡¯t have the confidence to be a parent, but she hoped that the child would not get hurt. ¡°I still don¡¯t want you. But that doesn¡¯t mean I hate you. There¡¯s nothing wrong with you. I¡¯m just not ready yet. So¡­¡­.¡± Her hand that was touching her belly paused. Alicia wrinkled her nose. It was a fleeting moment, but it was definitely familiar energy. ¡®Perhaps¡­¡­.¡¯ Alicia hastily examined her body. She inspected her condition several times to find the energy she had just felt. But no matter how much she searched, she couldn¡¯t feel anything. ¡®Was it just an illusion? Otherwise, was it really the power¡­¡­.¡¯ *Click.* In an instant, Alicia reflexively raised her head at the sound of the door. Although she couldn¡¯t see the visitor¡¯s face, since her eyes were accustomed to the darkness, she could recognise them at a glance. ¡°¡­¡­I thought you wouldn¡¯t come.¡± ¡°I thought you were asleep.¡± ¡°Why did you say you weren¡¯t going to come?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t know when I could make time, so I didn¡¯t want to keep you waiting.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Are you mad?¡± The carefully thrown question made Alicia¡¯s lips tremble. The moment she saw the man who looked at her with an awkward expression, the anxiety that had plagued her melted away so quickly to the point that it was funny. ¡°¡­¡­Do I look mad?¡± ¡°Your voice sounds sharper than usual. And you have an angry expression.¡± ¡°You can¡¯t see my face, though.¡± ¡°I can see it. It¡¯s also very clear. And¡­¡­.¡± ¡®This would make it even clearer.¡¯ Cabellenus, who strode up to her, grabbed Alicia¡¯s face. ¡°Did you wait long?¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°But the rims of your eyes are so damp.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Sorry. I knew you were feeling downcast, so I wanted to come and see you right away if I had a little time.¡± The rough fingertips caressed the corners of her eyes with a delicate touch that didn¡¯t match. Alicia couldn¡¯t hold back the tears that burned her eyes and quickly hugged Cabellenus. ¡°I missed you. Really.¡± Alicia murmured like a silly child with her face buried on the nape of Cabellenus¡¯s neck. She didn¡¯t want to be emotional, but she kept getting swept up in the mood of the moment. It was as if someone was manipulating her. ¡°I must have made you wait for a long time.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s arm tightened around her. Alicia dug into his arms and closed her eyes. ¡°I heard a bad story.¡± ¡°What¡¯s the story?¡± There was a note of displeasure in Cabellenus¡¯s voice. Alicia squeezed the hem of Cabellenus¡¯s clothes. ¡°It heard that Your Grace would be engaged to the Princess of Christie Kingdom.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± At that instant, the hand that was patting her back halted, but Alicia did not notice it. She was focused on strengthening the embrace in the case that she lost the man in her arms. ¡°It¡¯s absurd.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Your Grace, no. Cabellenus wouldn¡¯t do that.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Cabellenus?¡± It wasn¡¯t until the silence continued that Alicia realised something strange and raised her head. However, the man¡¯s face was shrouded in darkness, so she couldn¡¯t tell what expression he was making. All she could see was the golden eyes. Even in the dark, his golden eyes shone brightly without losing their colour. Those eyes that only stared straight ahead were trembling. Alicia reflexively swallowed her saliva. The sound of saliva passing down her throat was exceptionally loud in the silence. ¡°¡­¡­No?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°No, it can¡¯t be.¡± ¡®Hurry up and tell me I¡¯m wrong.¡¯ Alicia couldn¡¯t stand the silence and quietly urged Cabellenus. Cabellenus, unable to overcome her desperate gaze, reached out and grabbed Alicia¡¯s shoulder. ¡°¡­¡­No.¡± He didn¡¯t want to lie. Alicia was the only person who could make him feel guilty. But her body was currently too weak for him to tell her everything. Now, more than anything else, Alicia had to take care of her body. ¡°No?¡± ¡°Yes. It¡¯s nothing.¡± The man¡¯s voice was a little stronger than before. It wasn¡¯t difficult to add another lie to one he already spat out. ¡°Is it really nothing? The fact that the Princess of Christie Kingdom is staying in Schwarhan Castle, and that Your Grace and her are engaged?¡± Alicia stared up at Cabellenus. Even at that moment, her grip was so strong that the veins protruded from the back of her hand. ¡°Are you feeling very anxious?¡± He stroked the back of Alicia¡¯s hand as if to soothe her, but her tight grip didn¡¯t loosen. ¡°Because I know you¡¯re overly ambitious.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°In the end, all I can rely on is Your Grace¡¯s heart. In other words, it means that if your heart changes, everything would be over in a second.¡± Alicia¡¯s eyelashes trembled. She knew exactly why she was so anxious. ¡°I¡¯m not much different from a dog right now. I¡¯m endlessly waving my tail towards the person giving me food.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t say such nonsense.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not nonsense. Rather, it¡¯s an objective evaluation.¡± Alicia shook her head weakly. No matter how well it was wrapped, a relationship that was too skewed to one side rather than being equal only made it clear which side had the advantage. ¡°You said you were going to become a great duchess that suited me.¡± ¡°That¡¯s the story of the future, not now.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I want to do my best for the future with you, Cabellenus, and I will. But to reach that future, I need to be confident.¡± Alicia leaned towards Cabellenus somewhat hastily. As she drew closer, she could feel the strength in Cabellenus¡¯s body. Cabellenus was obviously shaken by her. But that was all. The only reason she could be next to him was because he allowed it. Cabellenus could force Alicia to remain by his side, but Alicia couldn¡¯t. If Cabellenus abandoned her, no matter how badly she wanted to stay, she wouldn¡¯t be able to. In the end, it was Cabellenus who decided the relationship between the two. She couldn¡¯t help but be conscious of it. In order not to be abandoned, she merely tried to adapt and do her best. Alicia slowly reached out her hand. ¡°You know what? All I could do, and all I¡¯ve done so far, was to wait for you. To only look at your heart while constantly waiting. That¡¯s all.¡± ¡°I¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s all right. If I can stay with you, I can live that way. But¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t just lie in front of me.¡± Alicia smiled as she spat out that remark. With her watery eyes focused on Cabellenus, she raised the corners of her lips. Chapter 53 - Different Views ¡°I can pretend like I don¡¯t know. I can just let it go. But if I do that, I won¡¯t be able to stop doubting you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to doubt you.¡± Her hair flowed down her weaky lowered hair. Alicia clutched her skirt and raised her head again. She was afraid to know the truth, but she didn¡¯t avoid it. ¡°It was to protect you.¡± ¡°To protect me?¡± ¡°You¡¯re too weak right now. That¡¯s why I needed a shield to cover your existence.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Is that all?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Lies.¡± Alicia bit her lips tightly to hold back her tears. She wouldn¡¯t have known if she hadn¡¯t seen him. It was because she was now overly familiar with him. Even if she didn¡¯t want to notice them, his lies were clearly visible to her eyes. ¡°If you just needed a shield, you wouldn¡¯t have picked a princess of the Christie Kingdom.¡± ¡°His Majesty arranged a meeting with her. And she¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure she must have what Your Grace wanted. She has magic.¡± Alicia laughed bitterly. Cabellenus tried to reach out to her, but seeing her icy gaze, he quickly stopped his hand in mid-air. ¡°Your Grace is the Lord of Schwarhan. Even I know that. It¡¯s reasonable to make a choice for Schwarhan. This land obviously needs magic.¡± Alicia clenched her hands. Schwarhan was heavily dependent on magic. Knowing that fact, she knew that Cabellenus would feel differently about his relationship with the Christie Kingdom. Cabellenus was the ruler of Schwarhan, and it was natural for him to make a choice for Schwarhan. However, understanding it with the head and accepting it with the heart were two different issues. ¡°It¡¯s a misunderstanding.¡± ¡°A misunderstanding? That¡¯s not a misunderstanding.¡± It was deception. The corners of her eyes turned red, but Alicia didn¡¯t cry. She just stared at Cabellenus. ¡°I¡¯m sorry I didn¡¯t tell you. But I didn¡¯t mean anything else. I just didn¡¯t want to make you worry.¡± Cabellenus lowered himself to meet Alicia¡¯s gaze. Alicia was wary of Cabellenus and was like a cat with fur standing upright. That fact alone made the man nervous. ¡°The promise with you will not change.¡± ¡°The promise you made?¡± ¡°I promised you I would take you as my wife and that you would become the Duchess of Schwarhan.¡± Cabellenus carefully clasped Alicia¡¯s hand as if supporting it. The man remembered Alicia¡¯s shy smile when he held her hand back then. ¡°Don¡¯t worry too much. After all, it¡¯s just a passing matter. You don¡¯t have to care about it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­How can I not care about that?¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t change anything just because you care about it.¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t change?¡± Alicia let out a gasp without realising it. At first, she thought the emotions reflected in Cabellenus¡¯s eyes were guilt, but they weren¡¯t. The emotions the man harboured were not guilt but uneasiness. When she realised that, she felt suffocated for a moment. ¡°¡­¡­Even if I had known beforehand, Your Grace would have been engaged to her.¡± ¡°I know it can feel unpleasant. But it¡¯s not something to be emotional about.¡± Cabellenus¡¯s thumb gently swept the back of Alicia¡¯s hand. It was an act to appease her, but Alicia couldn¡¯t afford to care about it. ¡°You don¡¯t have to think about anything else. Engagement is only a formality. Your position will not change.¡± ¡°There¡¯s no way it won¡¯t change. For whatever reason, Your Grace lied to me, and because of that lie, I can no longer blindly trust you.¡± Alicia¡¯s body trembled noticeably. Her heart hurt as if it had been gouged out. She didn¡¯t know what to do because it was too much to bear, but she was resentful that it was her lover and not anyone else who ruined it. ¡°The reason I wanted to live and be happy was, ultimately, because of Your Grace. No matter how big my world grew, in the end, it all began with Your Grace ¨C you are the centre of my world.¡± Alicia swallowed her tears and spat out her words. If she didn¡¯t say anything, she was afraid that she would burst into tears. And, eventually, she would be eaten away by grief forever. ¡°I have nothing to give to Your Grace. So, I¡¯m not in a position to blame you for forming a necessary relationship with the Princess of Christie Kingdom. You are the Lord of Schwarhan after all.¡± ¡°Alicia.¡± ¡°But, at least it shouldn¡¯t have been this way.¡± Alicia exhaled a sigh. ¡°I¡¯ll say it once again. I didn¡¯t intend to do anything with the Princess of Christie Kingdom. The desire to protect you is also not a lie.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not the point.¡± A dispirited laugh escaped from Alicia¡¯s clenched teeth. ¡°Then what¡¯s the problem?¡± ¡°¡­¡­Your Grace still doesn¡¯t know why I¡¯m like this.¡± Alicia¡¯s face distorted. She wished she didn¡¯t know. However, this time again, she could clearly see what Cabellenus was thinking. He didn¡¯t truly understand Alicia¡¯s feelings. ¡°¡­¡­Honestly, I don¡¯t understand why you¡¯re like this.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t understand?¡± Alicia¡¯s voice trembled. In terms of profit alone, Cabellenus wasn¡¯t wrong. However, in the first place, the issue was not something that could be settled simply by calculating the profits and losses. It was a matter related to the relationship between the two. At least Alicia thought so. ¡°It¡¯s wrong of me to lie to you, but I don¡¯t think I¡¯m wrong. If the lies allow me to protect you, and I can also gain what I want, then it¡¯s rather profitable. It¡¯s not a bad thing. On the contrary, it¡¯s a good thing.¡± The man seemed to have a different idea. Alicia¡¯s eyes wavered. He was obviously a man she knew more than anyone else, but at that moment, he felt unfamiliar, and she felt a surge of frustration. ¡°If you¡¯re only going to calculate the benefits, then you shouldn¡¯t have chosen me from the beginning, no. Even now, with someone other than me¨C¡± Before she could finish speaking, he grabbed her shoulders. Alicia stared at the ferocious gaze that seemed to want to eat her up at any moment and barely kept the smile on her face. ¡°Don¡¯t say anything more.¡± Cabellenus growled in a low voice. He would rather crush her shoulders with his hands than let her continue her words. But he didn¡¯t want to hurt her. Even while the anger was rising to the top of his head, he only gritted his teeth in the fear that he would destroy the skinny body. But it was tolerable because Alicia was in front of him. Cabellenus¡¯s eyes were filled with strength. ¡°Are you afraid of losing me, Your Grace?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Then, why did you do that?¡± Alicia inadvertently pushed the man¡¯s hand, which had been holding her shoulders, and looked up at him. The woman¡¯s eyes were watery but stared straight at him without shaking. ¡°Your Grace told me that you hoped I would become a person who could judge for myself. However, Your Grace doesn¡¯t treat me that way.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Your Grace must have received what you wanted from the engagement on the premise of marriage. You must have thought that you could get what you wanted in the name of protecting me. But, you know what?¡± She wasn¡¯t there for that choice. Alicia smiled. The corners of her mouth that were weakly raised was in danger of falling at any moment. ¡°Did you ever think about how I would feel about that choice?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Have you ever thought about how I would feel when you, who always told me to be honest, got secretly engaged to another woman and even told lies in front of my face?¡± The more she spat out, the clearer her emotions became. Alicia closed her eyes to calm the seething emotions and then slowly opened them. The grey eyes that emerged were piercing like sharpened blades. ¡°I wish you had just told me, no. At least when I asked, you shouldn¡¯t have lied.¡± ¡°It wasn¡¯t that I didn¡¯t think of you. I sincerely meant to protect you.¡± ¡°If someone forcibly gives you something you don¡¯t want and say it¡¯s a gift, is it a gift? No, it¡¯s not. It¡¯s not a gift, it¡¯s merely an imposition.¡± It was strange. The more her heart ached, the colder her mind became. Alicia rubbed her eyes roughly and raised her head. Because she blindly followed one thing and adjusted her body to it, it was easy to collapse. As a result, if that one thing collapsed, then everything would fall apart. ¡°I can understand Your Grace¡¯s position in my head. But I can¡¯t do that with my heart. It¡¯s because you chose another woman when you needed it, and you also lied to me, so I keep having bad thoughts.¡± ¡°There¡¯s no need to think that way. It¡¯ll never happen again.¡± ¡°It¡¯s no use. The trust between us has collapsed, so I can no longer believe your words.¡± Alicia pressed her sore eyes with her hands. She didn¡¯t want to cry even if she died at this moment. ¡°I¡¯d like you to go back. I don¡¯t want to see Your Grace¡¯s face right now.¡± ¡°It was inevitable.¡± ¡°I told you. I don¡¯t want to talk right now. I need time to think.¡± Cabellenus hastily approached Alicia. But she didn¡¯t look at him anymore. ¡°The Christie Kingdom is extremely vigilant, so I couldn¡¯t get what I wanted despite all the effort I had put in. If I miss this opportunity, I don¡¯t know how much more time it will take.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Besides, your position is still unstable. That¡¯s why, in order to protect you from those who are aiming for the position of Grand Duchess, I just thought that the correct answer was to not expose you as much as possible.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°That¡¯s all. So¡­¡­.¡± Cabellenus reached out his hand, but Alicia still did not look at him. She indifferently turned away her head as if she was looking elsewhere. That fact was driving him crazy. ¡°Let¡¯s talk later.¡± ¡°No. Talk to me right now.¡± ¡°If I talk to you now, I won¡¯t be able to say anything good.¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter. You can pour everything onto me and blame me. It¡¯s better that way.¡± ¡°I made it clear. I don¡¯t want to talk to Your Grace right now.¡± Alicia coldly slapped away his hand. Cabellenus stared at her with his mouth shut. Alicia had never refused his touch until now. Whenever Cabellenus stretched out his hand, she would always lean her face against it shyly. To the man, the woman¡¯s refusal was very unfamiliar. ¡°Alicia.¡± ¡°After I¡¯ve organised my thoughts, I¡¯ll contact you so you can go back now.¡± ¡°If I go now, I don¡¯t know when I¡¯ll be able to see you again.¡± ¡°That¡¯s great.¡± He was hoping that there was a corner in her heart that would be shaken a little. Cabellenus swallowed the emotions that had risen to his throat. He stared at the woman who turned her back to him for a long time. However, Alicia never looked back at Cabellenus. * * * ¡°Leave me alone.¡± ¡°But it¡¯s already been a few days. You¡¯ll really collapse if you go on like this.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t care.¡± ¡°My lady.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk anymore, so please leave now.¡± Due to the order, Mrs Morco was no longer able to complain and left the room. Alicia still remained under the duvet after everyone left. ¡®¡­¡­.It hurts.¡¯ Alicia barely managed to open her eyes and soon closed her eyes again due to the heavy eyelids. Even though she tried to get herself together, her physical condition wasn¡¯t good. Whenever she took a deep breath, a hot breath flowed through her lips, and it was difficult to lift a single finger because there was no strength in her body. But she didn¡¯t want to ask anyone for help. Even Mrs Morco had participated in Cabellenus¡¯s lies. With that in mind, no one appeared kind anymore. Alicia bit her lips hard to hold back her tears. Rather than feel numb from the pain in her mind, it was better to be sick. That way, she wouldn¡¯t know whether the pain came from the body or the heart. ¡®I¡¯m an idiot.¡¯ Alicia unconsciously tried to curl up but stopped and exhaled instead. She thought her habit of curling up was all fixed now, but it wasn¡¯t. Alicia briefly scoffed at herself and curled up like a pill bug. [T/N: A pill bug (or a woodlouse) is a small dark terrestrial crustacean with a hard outer shell found under stones or in slightly wet soil and are capable of curling itself into a ball.] Previously, she felt like she was floating in the sky. However, in an instant, she unbelievable fell into the abyss. ¡®If only I were a proper princess.¡¯ Alicia¡¯s eyelashes trembled. She couldn¡¯t stop blaming herself even though she knew it wasn¡¯t going to make the situation better. It was because she wanted to hate Cabellenus a little less. Alicia tightly squeezed her eyes shut. Even at this moment, she liked Cabellenus. And it felt increasingly more distressing. Chapter 54 - Child ¡®I wanted to firmly tell him not to get engaged.¡¯ Everything was upsetting, but in the end, it was her situation that bothered Alicia the most. Even if the words, ¡°don¡¯t get engaged,¡± were at the tip of her tongue, she couldn¡¯t say it because she knew she couldn¡¯t do anything for Cabellenus. ¡®If I still had my powers, I could have said it.¡¯ Alicia¡¯s closed eyelids trembled. Her eyelashes were already wet. She was the one who chose to be alone, but ironically, she wanted someone to be by her side. As she tried to endure the pain alone in a dark room, she remembered the hellish time she thought she had forgotten. Alicia curled up her body into a tighter ball, trying to suppress the memories of that day. It was then. She felt something moving inside her belly. Alicia stiffened. She then nervously lowered her hand and wrapped it around her belly. The sensation was only for a fleeting moment, and now she felt nothing. However, the thought of disregarding it made her feel restless. ¡®Perhaps¡­¡­.¡¯ Alicia kept her hands on her belly and swallowed dryly. The doctors clearly said she wasn¡¯t pregnant, but the symptoms she was experiencing were difficult to explain unless she was pregnant. And above all, the power she felt a little while ago¡­¡­. Alicia cautiously looked down. Even though it was just her assumption, Alicia felt like she was about to burst into tears at the thought and firmly bit her lip. She could merely just be mistaken. But right now, she missed people too much. She desperately needed a being that she could purely love and be loved back, without needing to think about anything. Alicia stroked her belly over and over again as if searching for the presence of a child. But the answer she wanted didn¡¯t come back. ¡°Why aren¡¯t you answering me? Is it because I said I didn¡¯t want you? If not¡­¡­.¡± Alicia¡¯s hand, which was touching her belly, stopped for a moment. What if a child existed? And, what if the child had the same power she used to have? When her thoughts reached that point, her mind turned blank. ¡°¡­¡­.It¡¯s because of me.¡± Alicia wrinkled her face and breathed out a dispirited sigh. Everything finally made sense now. The reason why they couldn¡¯t find the child¡¯s existence was because she didn¡¯t want it. The child was merely granting Alicia¡¯s wish. Realising that, she could no longer suppress the tears that leaked out. The child in her belly had no ability to perceive things. Instead, the child in her belly was just instinctively acting as its mother wished. The unborn child was watching the world even before it knew it. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I¡¯m really sorry¡­¡­.¡± Alicia closed her eyes and apologised again and again. And at that moment, she felt something wriggling in her belly. ¡°Ah¡­¡­.¡± Alicia couldn¡¯t stop the cry from leaking out and covered her mouth with both hands. This time, it was such a distinct fetal movement that it couldn¡¯t be an illusion. It was a child. There was a child in her. Alicia couldn¡¯t stop crying and just covered her face with both hands. She thought she didn¡¯t need anything like a child, but now its existence felt so great. She wasn¡¯t alone. ¡°Baby¡­¡­.¡± As Alicia sought for the child, her voice trembled, but at the same time, was more desperate than ever. And, as if responding to her, she felt the movement again. ¡°You¡­¡­. I miss you. I need you, truly.¡± Alicia wrapped her arms around her belly and hugged it. She was glad to feel the movement in her belly resonating like an answer. * * * ¡®This is¡­¡­.¡¯ Alicia turned her head with vacant eyes. She must have fallen asleep in the bedroom, but nothing familiar was in sight. There was only an endless snowfield. Alicia looked around and cautiously stepped forward. Every time she stepped on the pile of snow, she could hear a vivid crunching sound, and every time she exhaled, her frozen breath turned white. But strangely enough, it wasn¡¯t cold at all. ¡®Why?¡¯ Alicia stopped walking, looked around again, and then stiffened. Since a while ago, there was a mysterious dark figure watching her from afar. Alicia looked at the figure for a moment and then slowly stepped towards it. It was a strange shape, but she didn¡¯t find it scary at all. Instead, it felt rather friendly. ¡°¡­¡­Hello?¡± Alicia clumsily greeted it and just smiled because she didn¡¯t know what else to say. Even at that moment, the black figure was staring up at her. ¡°You¡¯re so small.¡± Alicia carefully crouched beside it. She couldn¡¯t tell from afar, but the black figure, seen up close, was very little. It looked like she could hold it with one hand. ¡°Would you like to come over here?¡± Perhaps it was because she was going through an unimaginable situation, without much thought, the words just popped out. ¡°Are you scared?¡± The black figure stared at Alicia and shook its head. ¡°Then?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Are you unable to speak?¡± The black figure nodded this time. Alicia thought it looked like an obedient puppy. Although it was as black as a shadow, the dark figure was in the form of a four-legged beast. If she had to classify it, it looked like a puppy. ¡°But it seems like you can still understand what I¡¯m saying.¡± Alicia carefully reached out her hand. As if waiting, the black figure rubbed its face against her palm. It looked like it was trying to act cute. ¡°Do you like me?¡± *Nod¨C* ¡°We¡¯ve just met for the first time today.¡± *Shakes head¨C* ¡°This isn¡¯t the first time?¡± *Nod¨C* Alicia furrowed her brows. Even though they were having a conversation through head gestures, she couldn¡¯t help but feel frustrated. ¡°Who are you?¡± The black figure stared up at Alicia without a response. As if it wanted her to recognise it. Alicia¡¯s parted her lips slightly. Only then did she notice the eyes of the black figure. The eyes of the black figure were grey. It was the eye colour that her grandmother passed on to her mother, and the ones that her mother passed on to her. ¡°No way¡­¡­.¡± Alicia¡¯s voice trembled. The black figure gingerly glanced at Alicia and softly placed its front paws on her knees. It seemed like it wanted something from Alicia. Alicia hesitated, not knowing what to do, and then carefully picked up the black figure. The black figure, which was suddenly lifted in the air, slowly blinked its eyes. It then gently wagged its furry tail. ¡°Umm¡­¡­.¡± She didn¡¯t know what she was supposed to say. Alicia nervously gulped as she looked at the burdensomely affectionate eyes that were directed towards her. In the meantime, regardless of Alicia clumsily holding it, the black figure busily rubbed its cheek against her to express its joy. Alicia held the black figure amid the warm welcome and waited for a while, still confused at what she should do. She gulped nervously again. The black figure was small, but it had an unmistakable warmth. After confirming that, she felt more courage than before. ¡°¡­¡­I honestly don¡¯t know what to say to you right now. But, I want to apologise.¡± The black figure¡¯s ears perked up. Alicia pondered for a moment. She then brought the figure closer into her arms and patted its back. At first, her touch was awkward, but after repeating it several times, she got used to it. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I said I didn¡¯t want you.¡± ¡®And thank you. For being by my side now.¡¯ Alicia smiled faintly. The black figure stared intently at Alicia as if trying to observe her expression and soon nestled into her arms. Rather than understand Alicia¡¯s words, it looked it was just waving its tail in goodwill. Knowing this, Alicia stroked the black figure¡¯s head. The black beast didn¡¯t have a particularly likable appearance, but seeing a little creature trying to somehow appeal to her made her heart flutter. At a glance, the child didn¡¯t know anything and merely used its powers. It just instinctively pursued what Alicia wanted in order to please her. Alicia stroked the black figure¡¯s face with the back of her hand. Now, she couldn¡¯t help but know. The familiar power that she felt in the black figure, What was in front of her wasn¡¯t an unknown entity. It was her child. The moment she realised that, like a curtain, the shadowy membrane surrounding the black figure disappeared. Then, for the first time, she could see the child clearly. Alicia swallowed reflexively. It was a wolf, a wolf cub with grey eyes and fluffy red fur. ¡°Is that your true appearance?¡± There was a moment of silence. The wolf rolled its round eyes and nodded cautiously. Alicia got all choked up when she saw that. With its tail drooping weakly, she could clearly see what was in the child¡¯s mind ¨C it was earnestly waiting for Alicia¡¯s reaction. ¡°Pretty.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You¡¯re very pretty, so you don¡¯t have to be so scared.¡± All she did was smile, but the drooping tail immediately rose up. Alicia didn¡¯t know whether to laugh or cry when she saw how obvious the child¡¯s emotions were, so she just released a long breath. In fact, a child with the power would be able to hide its existence perfectly. However, the child didn¡¯t do so. Aside from its desire to fulfil Alicia¡¯s wishes, it also wanted Alicia to know about its existence. Even if it hid, it wanted to show up and reveal itself in front of Alicia. ¡°¡­¡­You were watching me all this time.¡± ¡®You don¡¯t need to know about those things yet.¡¯ Alicia curled up her fingers tightly. ¡°You don¡¯t have to look at me. You don¡¯t have to watch over me, either.¡± Alicia gently nibbled on her lower lip. To be more self-conscious than necessary ¨C it was her habit that she disliked the most. However, seeing that habit in her child and not anyone else felt strange, no. She was saddened. It felt as if her heart was being ripped into a thousand pieces. ¡°Baby. You don¡¯t have to try to do anything for me anymore.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Stop using your powers for me.¡± Alicia stared at the child, holding back her tears that were threatening to escape. Even the power the child was using was not unlimited. The power was bound to be exhausted one day, and the subsequent end was already determined. ¡°I don¡¯t need your power.¡± ¡°Kking, Kki-ing, kking¡­¡­.¡± Perhaps it misunderstood Alicia¡¯s words, but the child made an odd sound and snuggled deeper into her arms. Only then did Alicia notice that the child was nervous. ¡°I¡¯m not saying that I don¡¯t need you. I only want you to¡­¡­.¡± Alicia stopped talking. Whenever she saw the excessively unconditional gaze, she couldn¡¯t help but be reminded of herself. ¡°Kki-ing¡­¡­.¡± Due to Alicia¡¯s delayed response, the child¡¯s body began to weaken. Alicia stammered in alarm, not knowing what to do. ¡°Th-that¡­¡­.! I meant that just being by my side is enough!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.Kki-ing?¡± The child¡¯s eyes were instantly filled with hope. Alicia hurriedly continued, fearing that the child¡¯s body would lose strength again. ¡°As long as you¡¯re by my side, that¡¯s enough. So stop it now. You don¡¯t have to overdo it for me.¡± It just stared at her. Alicia smiled more brightly the more it did that. The way it kept gazing at her was reminiscent of her longing for love, so she kept feeling touched by it. ¡°You don¡¯t have to look around. It¡¯s really okay. Even if you don¡¯t do anything, I¡¯ll continue to like you. I¡¯ll never hate you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You¡¯re too lovely to hate.¡± Alicia kissed the child¡¯s roundish forehead as if to soothe it. The child widened its eyes and soon softly wagged its tail. Although the child was still in the form of a beast ¨C in Alicia¡¯s eyes ¨C it simply looked like her child. ¡°Even if you don¡¯t do anything, I¡¯ll like you. So don¡¯t use your powers from now on. That¡¯s too much power for a young child to handle.¡± As if it didn¡¯t understand Alicia¡¯s words, the child only tilted its head over and over again. Alicia pondered if she should explain further but just patted the child¡¯s head. Even if it had special powers, the child was just a child. It was practically difficult to explain the power to a child who was faithfully working on its instincts rather than judging rationally. ¡®But¡­¡­.¡¯ Alicia¡¯s eyes trembled as she looked at the child. Regardless of whether it understood, she couldn¡¯t let her child continue to wield such power. To a child, the power was no different from poison. ¡°If you don¡¯t use your powers, I¡¯ll continue to love you. What do you think? Can you do it?¡± The child¡¯s eyes sparkled with anticipation as if it understood her words. Alicia smiled bitterly at that innocent look. She was comforting the child, but in fact, she was the one being comforted instead. The child only gave her a slight warmth, but she could tell just by looking at the innocent child¡¯s gaze. That the child, no matter what, would always remain by her side. Chapter 55 - Pregnant ¡°It must¡¯ve been that painter.¡± ¡°What about the painter?¡± ¡°There¡¯s no one else who would say unnecessary things to Alicia except him. He¡¯s the most suspicious one.¡± That man bothered him from the beginning. Cabellenus twisted his lips as he recalled James. ¡°How do you want to deal with him?¡± ¡°He has to pay the price for spouting nonsense.¡± ¡°The lady might find out.¡± ¡°Find out?¡± ¡°After all, he¡¯s the only one who has been teaching the lady how to paint. Besides, she¡¯s psychologically¡­¡­.¡± Gazeff checked his superior¡¯s countenance and obscured his words. Cabellenus and Alicia. Those two were currently in a cold war. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter, no. It won¡¯t matter.¡± Cabellenus sighed and rubbed his forehead. It would be enough if he could get rid of the annoying painter quickly, but the timing wasn¡¯t appropriate. If Alicia asked Cabellenus where James was after he dealt with him, Cabellenus would have nothing to say. Alicia currently did not trust Cabellenus. If James disappeared without a word, she would immediately suspect Cabellenus. That wouldn¡¯t be good. Receiving cold treatment from Alicia was already tough. Every time he encountered the tightly closed door of Alicia¡¯s room that refused any visitors, Cabellenus had to suppress the urge to break down the door, over and over again. ¡°Firstly, make him say that he¡¯ll leave with his own mouth. It won¡¯t be too late to deal with him after her treatment.¡± ¡°With his own mouth?¡± ¡°Now that I¡¯ve lost her trust, he must have gained it instead.¡± Cabellenus tightly gritted his teeth, suppressing his irritation. Gazeff examined his superior¡¯s mood and cautiously opened his mouth. ¡°By the way, are you really going to proceed with the engagement like this?¡± ¡°Why do you ask that?¡± Gazeff swallowed dryly at the icy gaze. The aide, who had served Cabellenus for a long time, noticed that it was a warning, but he couldn¡¯t accept it unconditionally. Gazeff pondered about it for a moment and then finally spoke up. ¡°I know that I¡¯m overstepping, but the lady is¨C¡± ¡°If you know that you¡¯re overstepping, don¡¯t say it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Gazeff Claude. Since when have you been so emotional?¡± Cabellenus nonchalantly smoothed his cravat with an unchanged, indifferent expression. Gazeff couldn¡¯t say anything and just bowed his head. It was foolish to give up multiple interests for the sake of one. So far, that was what he believed, but his judgment was clouded. ¡°¡­¡­But, the lady is a special person.¡± ¡°Special?¡± ¡°She¡¯s the first person Your Grace has ever liked.¡± Gazeff wrinkled his face. Even if he tried to make a rational judgment, he couldn¡¯t help but mix in his emotions. Now, Alicia was no longer a stranger. ¡°That¡¯s why I¡¯m going to give her the position she deserves.¡± ¡°However, the lady is now¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t help it. She¡¯s too innocent to understand the game of dirty politics.¡± Despite Cabellenus¡¯s expressionless face, his lips trembled slightly. Contrary to his calm attitude, his insides were boiling like a volcano on the verge of erupting. A few days had already passed since he parted with Alicia like that. She still hadn¡¯t contacted him yet. All he heard from the reports were that she was still staying in her room. ¡°I hoped that she wouldn¡¯t get hurt, but I can¡¯t help it that things got twisted. I¡¯m just waiting for her to accept it.¡± ¡°Do you think the lady will understand?¡± ¡°Well, she¡¯s also a rational person.¡± Alicia never forgot her position. She always tried to fit in and adapt to her prescribed position. He was always bothered by that fact, but ironically he was relying on it now. ¡°She will accept it eventually. And she will gradually understand what it¡¯s like to be in the position of a ruler.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°She¡¯s not a bumpkin. She can¡¯t be like that.¡± [T/N: A ¡°bumpkin¡± is a derogatory term used to describe a person from the countryside who is considered to be awkward and stupid.] Cabellenus¡¯s jaw muscles twitched. Alicia currently looked like a true aristocrat, and it suited her well. There was no going back to before that. ¡°Now that it¡¯s come to this, let¡¯s advance the preparations.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°How long did you say it would take for the engagement ceremony to be fully prepared?¡± ¡°A month.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s cut it down to a week.¡± ¡°Bu-But¡­¡­.¡± ¡°As long as it¡¯s properly formatted, the princess wouldn¡¯t object to it, no. Rather, she¡¯ll be pleased. From her point of view, she would want to solidify her relationship with me as soon as possible before her father dies.¡± Gazeff¡¯s eyes flickered. Cabellenus impassively turned his head at the lack of response. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with you? Is there a problem?¡± ¡°¡­¡­Is it really okay to do that?¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°If the lady finds out about it¡­¡­¡± ¡°She already knows.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Alicia is anxious. But that doesn¡¯t mean we can give up on all the fish we¡¯ve caught. In the end, there¡¯s only one thing I can do.¡± To sort out the current situation as quickly as possible. Cabellenus briefly exhaled and then straightened his back. Cabellenus still didn¡¯t think his judgment was wrong. Before he became Alicia¡¯s lover, he was the master of Schwarhan. He had to make a reasonable choice as a ruler. ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter how much money it costs. As the princess wishes, we should create the most dazzling and beautiful day as soon as possible.¡± ¡°But, if that happens¨C¡± ¡°I don¡¯t repeat myself.¡± Cabellenus coldly cut off Gazeff¡¯s words. ¡°¡­¡­All right, Your Grace.¡± Gazeff glanced at his superior¡¯s eyes and soon bowed his head. The reason he had been able to serve as Cabellenus¡¯s lieutenant for so long was because he never crossed the line. ¡°Schwarhan must become the best.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You haven¡¯t forgotten, have you?¡± Cabellenus quietly looked down at Gazeff. Gazeff stood with his mouth open for a moment and then tightly shut his mouth. He almost forgot about it. Cabellenus¡¯s long-standing wish ¨C and at the same time ¨C Gazeff¡¯s wish. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I forgot my duty for a moment and wavered.¡± Gazeff looked at his master with an unrelenting gaze. There was no need to doubt or be anxious. Cabellenus always made the right choices and was the perfect winner who made the impossible possible. So it would be the same this time. He truly believed so. ¡°In order to catch the prey, it¡¯s natural to lay a bait in the trap.¡± It was also natural to gain more prey than the bait. Cabellenus slowly closed his eyes and then opened them again. In the golden eyes that appeared again, the greed that he had concealed was revealed. ¡°I don¡¯t fight to lose. To win, you have to use every means and method available. And, in the end, the same goes for this. It¡¯s about obtaining more cards to win.¡± The variable called Alicia didn¡¯t change the goal. Instead, in order to make up for the loss of choosing Alicia, who had nothing, he had to gather the winning cards more tenaciously and achieve his goal. That was the ¡®promise¡¯. Cabellenus let out a heated breath, covering his eyes with his hand. It was then. *Knock, knock* There was a knock at the door. Gazeff glanced at Cabellenus for permission and then immediately opened the door. Outside the door stood a woman with a familiar face along with the door attendant. Gazeff reflexively frowned. It was Shizuna, one of the maids serving Alicia. ¡°Baroness Morco has sent someone.¡± ¡°My aunt¨C¡± ¡°Tell them to come in.¡± Before Gazeff could finish speaking, Cabellenus interrupted. Shizuna hesitated and cautiously stepped into the room. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± ¡°Th-that¡¯s¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t stutter, and say it properly. Is she looking for me?¡± Shizuna was startled by the sharp gaze and swallowed her breath. The young maid¡¯s face had already turned pale. ¡°Why can¡¯t you speak?¡± ¡°Your Grace. Calm down.¡± Gazeff, who saw the situation from a different angle, intervened between Cabellenus and Shizuna. Only then did Shizuna release the breath she had barely held back. ¡°Tell me what message my aunt wanted you to say, Shizuna.¡± ¡°Well¡­¡­.¡± Shizuna glanced at Cabellenus with a frightened face. She was afraid of what kind of repercussions the news would cause, but she couldn¡¯t help but deliver it. In the end, Shizuna closed her eyes tightly and opened her mouth. ¡°My lady has collapsed!¡± ¡°¡­¡­What did you just say? Who collapsed?¡± Cabellenus spat out a laugh. He couldn¡¯t understand what the maid was saying. ¡°M-my lady has collapsed.¡± Shizuna¡¯s voice now sounded like she was crying. Cabellenus silently scowled at the young maid and eventually turned around roughly. There was no time to think. The moment he properly registered the maid¡¯s words, his body moved before anything else. * * * ¡°Your Grace, you¡¯re here!¡± Mrs Morco hastily welcomed Cabellenus. Cabellenus strode into the bedroom as he was greeted. Inside, the doctors were frantically examining Alicia¡¯s condition. ¡°How¡¯s her state?¡± ¡°She¡¯s unconscious.¡± ¡°Unconscious? Is that all you have to say?¡± Cabellenus gnawed his teeth. Lying in bed, Alicia was pallid and drained of colour. She looked more like a dead person than a living person. His heart sank at the fact. ¡°I¡¯m sorry. But I¡¯m doing my best right now¡­¡­.¡± ¡°The best? Is this what you call the best?¡± ¡°Since she¡¯s been overworking herself lately, it seems like her physical strength wasn¡¯t able to support her.¡± ¡°So you should have looked after her more closely. Did you all leave her alone until it reached this point?¡± ¡°My lady didn¡¯t want to meet anyone¡­¡­.¡± Mrs Morco was unable to speak any further and covered her mouth with her hand. Her hand was trembling helplessly. She was the first to discover the collapsed Alicia. ¡°Bring all the doctors in the castle.¡± ¡°If we do that, the lady¡¯s location may be exposed.¡± Gazeff hurriedly intervened. Despite maintaining maximum security, one doctor was already exposed to Veloa¡¯s aide. Moreover, he had already dealt with several cases of spies disguising as a doctor to try to approach Alicia. Calling all the doctors in the castle and making a fuss would give Veloa an excuse. ¡°Then should we just leave it like this?¡± ¡°The doctors currently checking her condition are all competent people. For now, I think it¡¯s better to wait and see.¡± Veins protruded evidently on the back of Cabellenus¡¯s hand. In the already tightly clenched fists, his fingernails dug into his skin, causing blood to drip down. ¡°Your Grace, your hand¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it. That¡¯s not important right now.¡± Cabellenus looked at Alicia. He thought he would never feel anything like regret. But the moment he saw the unconscious woman, the first thing that came to his mind was, ironically, guilt. Cabellenus closed his eye tightly. He couldn¡¯t bear to see the women whose breath was faint. However, even though he closed his eyes, the woman¡¯s face was clearly imprinted in his mind. Cabellenus heavily sighed and opened his eyes. He didn¡¯t want to see the fallen Alicia, but he couldn¡¯t turn his eyes away. He had to look straight ahead and face it. ¡°My lady will recover soon.¡± Gazeff carefully offered words of consolation, but those words didn¡¯t reach Cabellenus¡¯s ears. His nerves were all focused on Alicia. ¡°¡­¡­Are you satisfied now, Your Grace?¡± ¡°Aunt.¡± Gazeff hastily tried to stop Mrs Morco, but he couldn¡¯t. Mrs Morco stood in front of Cabellenus and looked up at him with bloodshot eyes. ¡°I already told you before. It¡¯s not a good idea to keep it a secret.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You told me the one you trusted the most was my lady. So, why¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Moreover, she¡¯s not a single person¡­..¡± Mrs Morco couldn¡¯t control her emotions and eventually sunk onto the floor. She couldn¡¯t express the feelings she experienced when she found Alicia, who had fallen on the floor, all curled up in a ball as if to protect her baby. ¡°¡­¡­What do you mean? She¡¯s not a single person?¡± ¡°The doctor confirmed it today. My lady is pregnant.¡± ¡°Are you certain?¡± Cabellenus¡¯s eyes were cold. There was a child in Alicia¡¯s belly. The moment that fact was confirmed, it felt like his blood was flowing backwards. ¡°That¡¯s why the situation got worse. There¡¯s a limit on the medicine available for pregnant women¨C¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter.¡± ¡°Pardon?¡± ¡°The important thing is Alicia, only her.¡± As he dreaded, it was a monster trying to prey on its mother before it was even born. Cabellenus tightened his fists with a ferocious expression. ¡°As long as it doesn¡¯t harm the mother, I don¡¯t care what type of medicine you use. Don¡¯t worry about the child and save her first. Do whatever it takes to bring back her consciousness.¡± ¡°Your Grace!¡± Mrs Morco urgently called out to Cabellenus, but she couldn¡¯t sense any hesitation from him. On the contrary, he was emitting a deep sense of hatred. And, the target of that hatred¡­¡­. Mrs Morco instinctively looked at Alicia. Something was going wrong.