《My Vulnerary Husband- our journey towards love》


 Chapter -1 - Preface

    "My Vulnerary Husband!"


    It is the journey of Innaya and Eshan. Arranged marriages are not uncommon but the way of handling new relationship is different. Here is such one tale of arranged marriage of Innaya and Eshan.


    I personally do not like dominance in any relationship so, my characters are not going to be dominating, egoistic, harsh, rude, cursing ones. Women and men have equal rights and abuse or bullying of any kind is not acceptable.


    No one deserves to get treated badly.


    Do let me know your thoughts on this. I appreciate each one of you who takes efforts in reading, voting and commenting. And if you are reading it, please acknowledge my efforts by voting and commenting. Constructive criticism is welcomed, just don''t be harsh.


    ***


    He was gone with no backward glance


    She waited for him at their mark


    She was hurt, she was betrayed


    She was used and she was left


    Her tears dried yet her heart cried


    She knew she didn''t deserve, what she suffered


    She was scared, she was torn


    Instead of tingles, love gave her horrific shocks


    She thought to quit


    Yet her heart never agreed


    Amidst of darkness consuming her


    She heard someone''s call


    His silky, smooth, comforting voice


    Pulled at her heartstrings


    She wanted to hold, she wanted to reach


    Perhaps for the peace, that voice offered


    Her mind protested


    Not to fall into another hopeless fantasy


    Fantasies that always eluded her senses


    His voice penetrated deep inside


    Touching her soul


    Engulfing her in its soulful magic


    Urging her to follow


    She gave in, she held onto hope he provided


    Walking on the path, he showed


    Promising her to meet midway


    Believing she would not be cheated again!


    ***


    Thank you for reading.


    If you would like to connect with me:


    Discord: Mukta (My Vulnerary Husband)#5392


    Discord MVH server: discord.gg/GVKXAbD


    Instagram: @mukta_mvh

 Chapter 1 - Unexpected Proposal

    |Innaya|


    The sweat beads of perspiration on my forehead threatened to roll down, yet I made no move to wipe them away. Walking my way back home never felt so dreadful. The scorching heat of the sun was making it impossible to stay in its presence. Briskly finding the shadows to dodge myself from being directly in contact with blazing sunrays, I walked alongside them, even though I could easily hail the taxi to avoid the current discomfort.


    I pushed back some hair strands that escaped from the messy bun I have tied them in before leaving the college. When they kept denying being in the place, with one angry sweep I pulled the blue hair clutch clip and let the waist length black hair fall freely on my back. At this point, I did not care how uncomfortable they would be, rather I focussed on the main issue because of which I was so agitated.


    "Anger is never a solution to any problem. So always, understand the situation first before reacting, Innu."


    Grandpa''s words floated in my mind and before I could realize I was slowing down my steps. Few deep breaths with closed eyes, helped me cool down the bubbling anger but more than anger, it was the frustration of sudden arrival of the unexpected alliance.


    I was in the college, enjoying the break we got after extremely long lecture of Prof. Verma. Mom had called, asking me to return as soon as possible, saying the person chosen by my late Grandpa and my to-be-in-laws were visiting us to decide the marriage date. Moreover adding that, they wanted the engagement of us to be done as soon as possible and marriage within the span of a month. Something along the line of not having any auspicious date for next two years, was the reason they gave.


    I had my own reasons. I never wanted to get married. To start with, I just couldn''t get it how my family, who supported me in every step, had stood with me always could agree to this. Somewhere they had an idea about my opinions on this topic still how could they want me to get married to him?


    On top of everything, that person without meeting me for once, not knowing me personally, agreed to this alliance, only because he knew my Grandpa. ''God! In this 21st century people like ''Eshan Singhaniya'' even exists, seriously.''


    I increased my pace as the familiar mansion with the cream and maroon colour, came into line of sight.


    *-*


    "Mom... How could you do this?" I asked in a rage, entering my home. Even though I tried calming myself but it did not help as I witnessed all the preparation going on outside, and from my peripheral vision, I saw same was going inside the kitchen.


    "I have every right to do this Innaya. He is best for you. Moreover, your Grandpa wanted this," Mom answered giving me a glass of water. She must have noticed me visibly fuming. My eyes locked with the very same chocolate one from which I have inherited mine.


    "You are aware that I don''t believe in all of this, aren''t you?" I questioned, getting frustrated with the sudden shocking news of my marriage with the chosen groom.


    "Innaya, come here," Granny called me while extending her hand towards me.


    Taking the hold of her outstretched hand, I settled beside granny on the couch with the gloomy face.


    "Sweetie, do you trust me?" asked Granny making me look at her. I stared at her face, she was in her late sixties, and she looked super cute with her spectacles riding down on her nose.


    Without a doubt, I nodded positively.


    "Then, do you think, I will take any wrong decision for you? I know him, Innaya your Grandpa knew him, and he is perfect for you. I only want to see you settled before I die," Granny confessed, cupping my face to one side, getting emotional.


    "Granny... please," I admonished, hugging her immediately.


    "It''s not like that. It is just... just that it is too early. I... I don''t know him and don''t you think, I''m too young for this? I am just 21," I fumbled after some moment of silence, still hugging her. I could never hurt her voicing my reasons even if she was aware of them.


    Granny smiled at me, as if she could read my thoughts at the moment and was certain, only Eshan would be able to solve them.


    Caressing my hair softly, she continued in tone, depicting her motherly warmth, "Sweetie, I knew, you will be thinking this, that''s why I have called him so that you both could talk without any third person and decide. I want this marriage to happen, however, with your consent Sweetie. Just give one chance to him for me, for your Grandpa and I know he won''t let me down."


    "Mother, but-" Mom interrupted granny, her anxiety visible about the new turn of event when everything was about to be decided.


    "Naina. It is Innaya''s life. Let her decide," Granny dismissed in the final tone.


    "Go, Innaya, he is waiting upstairs in your room," Granny smiled while pushing me from my place.


    ''What, he is in my room?'' I stared at both the women with an are-you-serious look.


    Both of them just shrugged, and sent me in the room but not before warning me, to not do something inappropriate, knowing me very well, if wanted I could try to break this alliance.


    *-*


    I entered my room, taking a deep breath, thinking how to face this. I loved Grandpa very much and I so wanted to fulfill all his wishes. However, this one was not I ever wished for.


    The door of the room was wide open and there, he stood looking the wall, which held pictures all over it, from my childhood to till now with my family.


    He, who was busy in observing those photos, turned around at the sound of my footsteps,


    ''Handsome.'' That was the first thought coming into my mind.


    "Beautiful," he mumbled looking towards me, taking a good time to observe god knew what.


    "Huh?" I asked perplexed. It was not that no one ever complimented me earlier but he made me feel the way no one ever did with that one look, and I hated to admit that.


    Something in his eyes stopped me from being rude. His honey brown eyes turned darker or the light played the trick, I was not sure. However, that beautiful shade engraved in my heart. His eyes captivated me in such a manner that despite me wanting to run my eyes on his whole frame, I felt myself drowning in the ocean of emotions his eyes presented.


    "Photos, they are very beautiful," he answered after a while.


    Surely, he tried covering up as his gaze gave away the secret, his lips tried webbing.


    I grew nervous under his intense gaze, but surprisingly not uncomfortable though.


    "Hi, Innaya... I''m Eshan, Eshan Singhaniya." He extended his arm for a formal handshake. He might had mistaken my nervousness, as discomfort in his company.


    "Hello," I replied, relieved that my voice came normal while accepting his hand. His skin felt warm, welcoming against my cold one.


    "Come sit," Eshan said, still holding my hand and leading me to the bed as if we were in his room and not mine.


    I sat, taking my hand back and keeping some distance between us, lowering my gaze to my entwined fingers in my lap. His touch made my skin tingle and his eyes, God they gazed as if they knew something I had no inkling about.


    I was grateful for the silence that prevailed between us for some time, it gave time for gathering my wandering thoughts. Eshan started conversation breaking the silence in the deep husky voice that demanded my full attention not the case I was denying for.


    "Innaya... I know this is not you are wishing for. You do not want to marry me and you have your reasons. Frankly speaking, I am also not expecting you to be ready for this marriage." I looked suddenly at him, surprised at his declaration. He just smiled in response, an enduring smile providing warmth I never thought any guy was capable of.


    "I know it''s difficult to get committed for the lifetime to someone whom you are meeting for the very first time, without knowing anything about him. That is the reason I''m here, to know, what you want... I expect you to be honest with your opinions about this alliance." Eshan continued in his deep soft voice looking in my eyes, putting me at ease unknowingly; implying that he does understand me.


    I silently listened to him. He gave me the chance, to express what I wish rather than having me feel obliged about Grandpa''s wish.


    "Thank you for thinking of me. I... I-" For the first time, I not knew how to explain things to someone. Having him, a complete stranger place my comfort above everything felt overwhelming.


    "Innaya," I looked up at his face from my lap hearing his strained voice as if it emotionally unsettled him to frame his next words.


    "Grandpa was the one from whom I learned the business. He was like a father figure to me. I respect him a lot," Eshan admitted staring ahead, his face expressing sincerity of his words. The faraway look in his eyes had me thinking about his bond with my grandpa.


    "He always kept talking about you. He loved you very much," Eshan added, a small smile playing on his lips.


    "I''m here to fulfill my promise given to him, his last wish. But that doesn''t mean I''m doing all this just because of some responsibility." Eshan continued, still not looking at me while I was intently listening to him, his smile vanishing.


    "I''m doing this because I want to do this, from all of my heart," he confessed looking straight into my eyes. My heart missed a beat and raced up in a speed I felt as if ran a marathon and I did not know why? Blame his sincerity, his eyes or emotions I felt because of his little speech.


    "I''m not forcing you to anything... Life has taught me one lesson, everything should happen according to your will is not compulsory, some things are better left to fate. Sometimes what we feel is the most wrong decision for us, turns out to be the righteous one." Eshan said, as if he knew, for me, this was the unfit thing in the world to do.


    I sat there, lost in his words, where he kept looking at me perhaps trying to gauge my reaction. Mom knocked informing us about the arrival of his family. Eshan left, giving me privacy to decide not before passing a reassuring smile.


    After a lot of battling with my inner self, I decided to leave everything on destiny and give a chance to this new relationship, perhaps not for myself but for Grandpa and my family.


    *

 Chapter 2 - Sudden Engagement

    |Innaya|


    "Innaya, honey, I''m so happy for you. Get ready sweetie. We have only two hours for your engagement."


    I was sitting lost in my thoughts after I informed GrandMa about my decision, when Mom rushed in. I looked up, listening to the enthusiasm in her tone, along with the happiness radiating from her face. I noticed the pink and golden colored beautiful lehenga with heavy embroidery in her hands.


    "What engagement, Mom? We just met. Aren''t you rushing things?" I did not know why my family was behaving that way but it was surely getting annoying for me. This was too much in one day.


    "Innaya, today is a very auspicious day for engagement according to our Priest and after two weeks, you two are getting married. You are aware that, there are no good dates for marriage until next two years," Mom answered, caressing my face lovingly, with tears brimming in her eyes.


    "Mom, please!" I hugged Mom instantly. I could never see her in tears. If I have agreed to marriage then the date should not matter, right?


    "Okay Mom, no need to get all emotional. I will get ready. You go downstairs. I know, you must be having lots of work." My feelings could take backseat for now.


    "That''s my daughter." Mom handed me the lehenga, caressing my face lovingly. Oh, Mom!


    Just then two women entered in my room, dressed in beautiful designer clothes catching my attention. They must be from Eshan''s family, I concluded.


    Mom turned towards the door, welcoming them. "Please, come inside. I was just asking Innaya to get ready."


    "Innaya, she is Jiya, Eshan''s elder cousin Vihaan''s wife," Mom introduced, motioning towards a woman in her thirties standing on her right side in her red embroidered Sari with a diamond necklace and earrings wearing a subtle make-up, her face held a comforting smile.


    Stepping forward for taking her blessings, I was bending when in midway, she held me by my shoulders stopping me. She took me in her arms, whispering in my ears, "Welcome to family Innaya. I''m not that old you see."


    I smiled at her jovial nature and stepped back. Before Mom could introduce me to another woman, I felt myself engulfed in the bear hug. "Oh sister-in-law, I''m so happy. You are so beautiful. Brother Eshan is so lucky."


    I felt my cheeks burning up at her compliment and her adoration. Once she released me, I kept my gaze lowered at the floor.


    "Oh Priya, at least first introduce yourself." Bhabhi chided that girl. ''Bhabhi, not bad Innaya. Weren''t you the one, saying it is too fast and now aren''t you adapting changes too fast?'' My subconscious mind taunted.


    I ignored the taunt and focused on the girl clad in beautiful white Anarkali dress, who just made me feel fluttered with her compliments.


    "Oh sorry, hi sister-in-law I''m Priya, Eshan bro''s younger sister," she introduced herself, smiling as if she was the happiest person alive. I greeted her back, returning a smile.


    "Innaya, get changed. Jiya and Priya will help you in getting ready. I will see to other arrangements." Mom readied all necessary things I would need before going back downstairs to check other preparations, leaving me with my to-be-in-laws.


    *


    After an hour or so, we made our way downstairs where everyone else was present. I grew self-conscious, as the hall fell in silence and the people stared our way, to be precise towards me. Bhabhi and Priya had not allowed me to look into the mirror, saying something about their family tradition. I felt myself shaking little with nervousness.


    I had my eyes downcast, nervous of their reactions. Through the corner of eyes, I saw Mom coming towards us and I felt relieved.


    Once Mom reached to us, she caressed my face. Putting a black dot of Kohl behind my ear so as to protect me from evil eyes, she whispered, "You are looking very beautiful Innaya," providing me the comfort I needed. Nothing can be more comforting than loved one''s assuring words and loving glances.


    I smiled seeing the approval for my look in her and granny''s eyes. Mom then held me by the shoulder and stepped aside making me face other people present in the living room.


    Granny introduced me, pointing to the elder person standing in cream color sherwani accompanied by a woman clad in the red color saree, "He is Mr. Tushar Singhaniya, Eshan''s uncle and beside him is Mrs. Sneha Singhaniya, his wife."


    "And these two are Eshan''s parents, Mr. Suhas Singhaniya and Mrs. Prerna Singhaniya," Granny said turning towards other couple. The man wore a purple and white sherwani and the woman wore a magenta colour saree with gold work over it.


    "He is Vihaan, Tushar''s eldest son," Granny completed looking towards the man clad in the brown and golden sherwani. I took blessings of all of them.


    In all this introductory session, I had felt a pair of eyes on me from my left, following my every movement. Somewhere I had an idea of its owner, yet I refrained myself from giving in the temptation of looking that way.


    After our brief introduction, Granny made me stand beside the person who stood at one place from the time I came downstairs. Eshan. The Priest did our Tilak saying some prayers before asking us to put the rings on each other''s fingers.


    Mom nudged me slightly, indicating to move forward my hand. I did as told and was aware of slight shivering of my palm. Blame it on nervousness, shyness or excitement, I had no idea.


    ''Innaya, this is it now no turning back at this point.''


    I raised my lashes as I felt warm hand enclosing around my wrist. As I looked up, I noticed his honey brown orbs staring straight into mine with the emotions I couldn''t decipher.


    Clapping sound brought me out of our eye lock. I suppressed the urge of gasping at that beautiful piece of jewelery, as I noticed a beautiful gold ring in shape of the two hearts intertwined, one of those adorned with little diamonds sitting proudly on my ring finger. When did he put the ring?


    Mom handed me the ring to put on his finger, which I did while trying to control trembling of my fingers holding the ring. I released the breath I was holding unknowingly, once I slid ring in his finger.


    *


    We sat on the couch as elders went to take dinner and discuss other things. I noticed our clothes matched. He was dressed in pink sherwani with golden and white stonework. Earlier when we met, he had worn Armani grey suit. I had not noticed his features keenly then as I was too shocked by the sudden news and his unexpected visit and was too lost in his captivating eyes.


    As we sat next to each other, I could not help but notice him. He had the most beautiful eyes, I had ever seen. His chiseled and sharp jaw, his body though not muscular but enough to say fit and healthy appeared from his clothes. Dark black thick hair kept properly without too much of hair gel. He wore a light perfume, whose smell was unfamiliar to me. His whole aura was intimidating, powerful yet felt warm and welcoming to me.


    "You are looking like a princess, very beautiful."


    My whole secretive-checking-my-now-engaged-partner-soon-to-be-husband-unabashedly came to an abrupt end as his amused deep voice fell on my ears and I stared at his face in bewilderment, hearing his compliment. Once our eyes met, the intensity in his eyes had my cheeks starting to heat up. Embarrassed, I instantly lowered my gaze. Then I registered the presence of Priya, sister-in-law and Brother-in-law. I kept my head low unable to meet their teasing eyes and as we sat in silence, my blush only intensified.


    During the whole evening, I was blushing, whenever we got teased, whenever Eshan had looked at me, when we were close to each other, whenever our skin came in contact. Whenever our eyes had met, I had felt an unknown feeling rising inside my heart. What was wrong with me? Why was this treacherous blush rising with his one look?


    The whole ceremony was quite simple and sober affair with the presence of only two families.


    *


    We walked in silence towards my room as Eshan excused us saying, he forgot his wallet in my room. But I did not recall seeing any wallet in my room.


    "Here, take this," Eshan offered forwarding a card towards me, once we were standing again in my room away from our families.


    I looked confusedly towards his outstretched hand. ''Why is he giving me the card? It looks like the business card. Is he expecting me to be involved in business? Did no one inform him I am still studying?'' I frowned as different questions started swirling in my mind.


    "My number. I know you need time. You can call me anytime to ask me anything. I''m there," he answered, unknowingly clearing my confusion, emphasizing last words in an assuring manner.


    I nodded a little, taking the card from him. Our fingers brushed in the process and I felt something stirring in my heart recalling his earlier words and now his touch. It wasn''t a business card as I read the information over it. It was his personal visiting card.


    We came down together as it was getting late for Eshan''s family to leave. Soon bidding a bye they left for their home in their cars.


    *

 Chapter 3 - First Mobile Conversation

    |Innaya|


    I sat on the bed holding his card in one and mobile in another hand, debating with myself, whether to call him or not. It had been one week, to our engagement and we never talked after that.


    ''Perhaps he might not have your number. Innaya, he gave you his number not asked for yours. So technically you should call him''


    My mind reasoned, and my heart stupidly agreed.


    Playing around with mobile for a while, I gave up, and dialed his number and waited for him to answer.


    To my utter disappointment, the call went unanswered. For some unknown reasons, I felt dejected.


    ''Its 9 o''clock in the night he must be free, so why not answer the call? Does he belongs to them, who avoid answering unknown numbers or is he busy with someone?'' I sighed tiredly, my mind buzzed with all negative thoughts.


    Deciding to distract myself before getting a terrible headache I picked college assignment I needed to submit and started concentrating on it rather than Mr. Singhaniya.


    Just when I finished writing half of the assignment, my mobile started ringing on study table beside my open laptop, flashing Eshan''s name across it.


    I saw the time it was 10:30, one and half-hour later after I had called him and he did not answer.


    ''Now I will not.''


    I could be more stubborn than kids could sometimes but then deciding to be the bigger person, I answered on the last ring.


    "Hello, Innaya?" came his deep voice.


    ''Innaya? How does he know it''s me?'' I wondered.


    "Hello?" He again called out my name on not getting any response from my side, as I was lost in figuring how he knew about me being on another side.


    "How do you know it''s me?" I asked without thinking twice. I had not left any message stating it was me.


    "I have your number." He answered. I could feel his smile, perhaps anticipating my reaction.


    "How? Wait for a second, if you had it then why ask me to call you while giving your number?" I asked not so gently in an irritated tone. If he would have been in front of me then I might have ended up strangling him.


    "I wanted you to initiate" He answered, amusement clear in his voice.


    ''Initiate?''


    "Huh?" I asked, not getting the reason behind such behaviour.


    There came silence as an answer. I thought he disconnected the call. Before I could check the screen, his serious voice answered my question, "To accept us"


    My breath hitched with his sincere confession. ''What is with this person and his heart touching meaningful explanations?''


    Few moments passed in silence with both of us holding mobiles to our ears, waiting for other to speak.


    I gathered my courage thinking about my reason for calling him in the first place. Little hesitantly breaking the silence between us I asked, "I... I need to talk to you... can we meet?"


    He took few moments before answering as if fixing everything in his mind "Okay... I will pick you from your college at 4. Is that okay?" He asked me for the approval.


    "Hmm Okay!" I replied still lost in his earlier confession.


    I could listen to some noises from his background. Someone loudly called for him.


    "Then see you at 4 tomorrow. Bye!" He said rather quickly to me and those voices in background stopped.


    "Bye!" I said disconnecting the call, thinking what he was doing so late and about sources of noise.


    ''Pick you from your college... Wait did he say college?''


    ''How does he know about my college timing? How does he know the address?''


    I recalled mom telling me about his residency in Mumbai from last 5 years, handling his business.


    ''Okay, he knew about me studying is expected, but how does he know about college timing, name, and address?''


    "Argh... Firstly, number, then college address with timing details along with his serious small confessions and now his secretive behaviour...God! I will go mad because of him."


    I held my forehead.


    "Oh god" I stared in horror at my assignment. The pages were ruined by round and round design of the pen. I did not realize while talking, I absentmindedly was moving my pen over it and now dark black ink on pages mocked me.


    My complete hard work of one and half hour was ruined. Picture of Mr. Verma''s cold old eyes peering at me over those big round glasses with his one hand over hips and angry frown lines on his aged face asking for explaining came to my mind. He would not accept the assignment with some pages torn from it. I would have to rewrite everything.


    ''No, no! Now I need to rewrite whole assignment I cannot afford giving reason to him for scolding and cutting my marks.''


    Now I would have to remain awake at night past my usual sleeping time of 11 pm. I''m not the person to remain awake till late in the night, I prefer waking up early but now that was not the option available.


    The assignment would take more than four hours to complete and I couldn''t take risk of postponing it for the morning. What if I failed to complete it in morning?


    Scolding myself for my stupidity I took a new book and started rewriting and completing the assignment, this time with full focus.


    *

 Chapter 4 - First Date, jealousy and gifts

    |Innaya|


    Eshan and I sat wordlessly in the cafe. True to his words, he was there at sharp 4 pm waiting for me, outside my college gate. In a maroon blazer with the white shirt underneath and dark black jeans, he looked so deliciously handsome.


    I had felt some sort of anger spiking through my veins on noticing many college girls going gaga over him, admiring him. On top of that, while leaning on his car, he had opened first two buttons of his shirt while talking with someone on mobile with that beautiful smile.


    ''Stupid man! Who told him to look so handsome and stand there like a model, and if heat is bothering so much, who told him to stand under the sun? He could have taken shelter or better sat in the car. No one would have looked at him then, specifically as if would eat him alive. On top of everything, what was the need of flashing that enchanting smile alluring others in his charms?


    ''


    That was the reason, I had refrained from engaging myself in any conversation with him, since the time I sat in his car, giving him the cold treatment, he deserved.


    "Should I order for us?" He questioned, once again trying to initiate a conversation to which I just nodded.


    No matter how angry I was, I could not make him feel humiliated in front of the waiter.


    My mobile rang displaying Mom''s call. What a perfect opportunity to avoid him!


    "Hello Mom," I answered ignoring the order he started placing.


    "Innaya, you and Eshan go to choose your wedding dress and jewelery. Granny and I have sorted things. You have to select amongst them from our regular shops. I have told them to keep everything ready when you both visit."


    "Mom! Why haven''t you picked out them? You know I love your choice."


    "I know Innaya... But, it''s your wedding. You both should get a chance of finalizing things. Okay, I am hanging up. You do as I said. Bye."


    "Bye." Irritated I disconnected the call. Why should everything be according to his choice?


    ''Innaya, mom said you BOTH decide. From where only HE came?''


    My self-debate came to a halt as the waiter laid dishes on the table. I stared wide eyed at the dishes, he ordered. Cheeseburger, malpua, gulabjamun trifle, basundi, Pani Puri, basket chat, moong dal halva, Kala Jamun, kheer, Rajasthani sattu, dahi Puri, cheese spinach corn sandwiches. How on the earth could he order those dishes in this restaurant?


    I talked hardly for five minutes, how could they prepare and bring everything in this shortest span, that they do not even have on their menu. I often visited this restaurant with my friends and I knew what they offer, then how?


    "Are you spying on me?" I asked perplexed, unable to control my shock from my voice.


    Eshan just stared at me with those hypnotizing eyes. His face remained passive, not displaying a single emotion for my outburst.


    "Are you spying on me, because that''s what I can make out from your behavior. All of sudden you appear with the marriage proposal. You have my number, you know everything about my college, and now you know my favorite dishes too. Everyone is already impressed by you, and now you want to use your tricks on me?" I vented all my frustration on him not realizing my pitch rose to the level of grabbing attention from other people in the restaurant.


    Eshan roamed his eyes around us, a silent warning to everyone to mind their own business. I followed his gaze when even after literally shouting at him, he remained quiet.


    Realization of what blunder I just created with my big mouth dawn upon me. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.


    ''How could I forget we were in public? What must he be thinking about me?''


    From the corner of my eyes, I saw Eshan pushing the glass of water towards me, still not saying a word.


    "Drink!" He said on noticing me not taking it.


    I took the offered glass and gulped down. Frankly, I was not expecting this reaction from him, having heard about his bad temper.


    "No, I''m not spying on you neither I am trying to impress you. Being your fianc¨¦, don''t you think I should know all these little things about you?" He asked raising his eyebrow questioningly.


    How could he be so calm?


    "For your information, allow me to enlighten you. Granny has given me your number. She was the one who told me details about your college and wait, before you jump to any conclusion, let me clear it was not some sort of spying. It was just another casual discussion, we had. Most importantly, what I ordered are my favourites. I thought you will like it and before you say I don''t have manners of letting you place an order, so Would-be- Mrs. Innaya Eshan Sighaniya, you were the one who was lost in daydreaming while the waiter was waiting and gave me permission for ordering for both of us." He put forward his side of the story all the while beholding my gaze, his eyes affirming the truth of his words emphasizing his point.


    "Moreover, if those girls at your college were ogling at me, what''s my fault in that? Why are you taking their anger on me? I never asked them to stare at me in the first place." Eshan asked me innocently yet his eyes held mischievous glint.


    I felt my eyes widening in shock. He noticed.


    I heard his deep laughter, on my reaction. My mouth dropped in shock. I made fool of myself in front of him. I lowered my eyes in shame while playing with my scarf smacking, myself in mind.


    "Innaya," he called out to me controlling his laughter. I did not respond out of mortification. I felt his palm coming over mine on the table covering my palm totally in his large one. I tried withdrawing, his hold tightened, not allowing me. "It''s okay! No need to be embarrassed."


    "Sorry!" I mumbled lifting my lashes little, looking at him. My eyes filled with unshed tears threatening to roll down. I felt very guilty for my earlier behavior.


    "Hey! It''s okay" He squeezed my palm softly.


    "Please, don''t cry. Look, I am sorry too. I should not have stretched it. Innaya, please," he said earnestly trying to comfort me.


    "Tears don''t suit your beautiful face amore mio caro!" He mumbled last part in a daze.


    "Are you flirting?" I asked wiping my tears.


    "Is it working?" He asked, his lips curving into the smirk.


    "Hmm... I think yes." I answered smilingly, his efforts easing my earlier embarrassment.


    We started eating our food in silence.


    "Was that French, you spoke?" I asked thinking about the phrase he used.


    "Italian." He answered shaking his head little.


    "What does that mean?"


    He stared at me before shook his head negatively.


    "So, tell me what you wanted to ask?" He diverted the topic.


    "Hmm.... After marriage, what do you expect from me? Should I stop my education or you will allow me to pursue my dreams?" I asked with baited breath. His answers would play the vital role in our coming life.


    "First of all apart from being honest in this relationship, I don''t expect anything at this point. Secondly, why would you stop your education? We live in the 21st century and you have every right to take your decisions. Innaya, marriage is a lifelong commitment. I am going to be your husband, not dictator," He answered keeping his spoon on the plate.


    "I know you are worried about this whole rushed ordeal. I can promise you one thing I will never let you down. You will not be forced for anything which you are not comfortable with." He said squeezing my palm; I realized he had been holding all along.


    "I am aware, this is your last semester and next month you have your finals, so we will be shifting to Mumbai after two months. Till now I lived alone in Mumbai due to my business, now I will have someone besides me, sharing my life. I have talked with Granny and Mom and they would be shifting after six months to Mumbai with us."


    He had taken care of everything, without me saying or demanding. I felt gratitude and respect rising in my heart for the man sitting in front of me.


    "Is there anything else you would like to know?" He asked.


    I wanted to ask him about his whereabouts last night and those sounds. I kept mum thinking it was enough for the day. I nodded negatively.


    We finished our food and left for shopping.


    *


    After shopping, Eshan drove us to my home.


    Once we reached, I unbuckled my seatbelt and turned to get down; he held my hand stopping me.


    Turning in his seat, he put his left hand near my head on the headrest of my seat, my heartbeat raced up watching him lean forward. Is he going to kiss me?


    He leaned more towards me and I leaned back, towards the door of my side. I felt his body warmth engulfing me. The aquatic, woody and aromatic fragrance of his perfume, a mix of spices and citrus pulsing with recognizable whiffs of patchouli and incense had me feel intoxicated.


    I held his intense gaze and saw amusement in them. He fetched a big wrapped parcel from the backseat of the car and held in front of me. He was just taking out a gift and you thought he was going to kiss you.


    I looked at gift wrapped in the beautiful material having a sticker with my name written: "For Innaya"


    I raised my eyes questioningly at him, in answer he just pushed gift further towards me.


    Holding I unwrapped it slowly only to get astonished. It was beautiful guitar, with my name crafted on it. It was most expensive one and of limited stock.


    A message written in beautiful calligraphy at base caught my eyes, "ma belle ch¨¦rie, tu es incroyable"


    I looked up to ask the meaning of that foreign language. However, my breath hitched watching his breathtaking smile, his eyes trained on me as if capturing my every reaction. I forgot to ask.


    I pushed his gift towards him protesting to accept, "This is my first gift to you and I''m not taking it back" He softly insisted not leaving room for denial.


    "Thank you!" I said roaming my fingers on guitar strings.


    "I had back to back meetings yesterday. I was in meeting in Mumbai that is why I did not answer your call. The noises you heard last night were of employees," he replied clearing my unsaid doubt about last night.


    "You don''t have to hesitate to ask anything Innaya. You have every right to question, remember this... hmm?" Cupping my face by his right hand, he told me with pure sincerity, as if making a child understands his point.


    I nodded my head positively feeling overwhelmed with everything, unable to utter anything. He received the call from his home asking for his presence, so he left quickly bidding bye to me.


    It was strange having him answering my unasked questions. From the time we were together, he willingly offered everything. There was something about him, something that was, utterly positive and mysterious. I was amazed at the way the whole meeting or the date in GrandMa''s words went.


    I stood in front of my home, holding his first ever gift to me staring at the way he left. I stood there until Mom, came calling for me.


    *

 Chapter 5 - Wedding Night

    |Innaya|


    How do you define the feelings you get, while sitting on the bed on your marriage night when all you have done is to run away from the mere mention of the word marriage, always? Realising now there is someone, you are going to share everything with. How one, is expected to behave while being put in the spot, which always has been carefully avoided?


    ''I have been running away,


    Cocooning in my mother''s arms,


    Avoiding the hindering realities,


    Being the little girl, hers I was,


    The Present is changed, so will future,


    Now after, being tied to someone,


    I am confused how I will cope up!


    ''


    -


    I wondered as I sat on the bed decorated beautifully with rose petals, dressed in beautiful red and golden lehenga, my wedding dress, in Eshan''s room waiting for him. We got married earlier today in the very simple manner in the temple, with very few of our close people present for the ceremony. Eshan had proposed this idea of small-scale function, much to my delight saying it would be more convenient, given the limited time we had and grand reception could be arranged later.


    After the ceremony ended, Eshan drove us to the mansion they had here in Bangalore that much surprisingly, was at half an hour distance from my maternal home. His whole family residing in Delhi, he living in Mumbai for handling his business and they having the mansion in Bangalore was very confusing.


    Footsteps approaching towards our bedroom as he had reprimanded me twice earlier had my full attention, retrieving me from my wandering thoughts. My fingers curled at my side crushing those rose petals scattered innocently everywhere in little apprehension. The uncertainty of what lay ahead had me erupt in cold sweat.


    "Innaya," I heard his cautious voice, coming from the other side of the bed.


    I looked up, thinking about what had caused him to be uncertain. My eyes met with his eyes that held, concern in them. I waited for him to continue while maintaining our eye contact.


    "Are you alright?"


    I nodded, little apprehensively. What happened to him?


    "Are you sure? You look pale?" He questioned again while sitting on the far end of the bed.


    ''All the thinking and nervousness must have taken a toll. The stress always has made me sick''. I sensed a headache starting to make an appearance.


    "Yes. It''s nothing, I am just tired," I answered avoiding the real reason.


    "Hmm... okay, why don''t you change and then sleep. It has been a long day." He suggested still unsure about my answer.


    Nodding, I left for bathroom taking my night suit from my bags that were still packed and kept near dressing table.


    *


    Spending around one hour in the bathroom, for taking off the heavy dress and jewellery and then afterward for bathing, I came out wearing my white knee-length cotton kurti and grey slacks as I realized I could not delay more. I just hoped Eshan would have slept.


    My hopes crashed as I saw Eshan dressed in white T-shirt and grey pants sitting on the grey wooden recliner kept on the left side of the bed, engrossed in working on his laptop. He looked up in my direction as the bathroom door closed behind me, giving me smile that I returned. Thank God, I applied moisturizer inside bathroom itself, how would I have done it in front of him.


    I sat on the right side of the bed taking my medicine pouch with me. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Eshan keeping the laptop away and coming towards me. ''Please do not ask about medicines... Please don''t... Please... Please!'' I desperately prayed with closed eyes. I didn''t want to explain him anything, at least for time being.


    "Here, drink this. You will feel better."


    I opened my eyes, and saw him with a mug in his hand.


    I sighed in relief, as he did not ask anything.


    "Sorry, I don''t drink coffee." I denied hoping he would agree.


    "I know. It''s tea with turmeric, milk, ginger, and a jaggery. It''ll reduce your headache so no need of taking any medicine." He noticed my medicines but assumed wrong. I was not taking them for a headache. Now I could not deny or else he will ask about them.


    "Thank you!" Taking mug from him, I brought it near my lips. The strong spicy aroma of ginger and turmeric hit my nostrils, awakening my taste buds. I took a sip relishing the taste of the warm, sweet, and spicy liquid. I closed my eyes enjoying the tea, a soft moan of satisfaction left my lips.


    I opened my eyes once I realized that I finished the whole mug, only to gasp in surprise. Eshan stood at his same position, with his arms crossed over his chest, looking at me with an amused expression on his face. Oh God, I totally forgot about Eshan. How embarrassing!


    His honey brown eyes stared intensely at me with adoration, care, and something close to desire?


    I cleared my throat awkwardly, watching him unmoving and unable to bear his gaze.


    "Umm...Good night Eshan... and thank you for the tea." I added softly.


    "Wait," he stopped me, coming out of whatever trance he was lost in, leaning towards me.


    ''Does he want to claim his husbandly right? Oh God, what am I going to do now?''


    "Here," he said picking up the box, wrapped in cream colour gift wrapping paper from the bed, that was beside me complete time.


    ''Innaya, why do you always have to assume wrong things?''


    "What''s this?" I asked confused.


    "Gift"


    "Why?"


    "Because I want to and now enough of your interrogation and open this." He pushed gift towards me, taking now empty mug from my hands.


    "Okay... Thank you!" Curiosity got better of me, and I started unwrapping the gift.


    Eshan''s phone started ringing from the recliner he earlier was sitting on. "Excuse me, I''ll be back. You please carry on." Picking up his phone, Eshan walked towards sliding glass door of balcony after excusing himself.


    I unwrapped the paper only to gasp in surprise, as I come across the box full of multicolour glass bangles.


    "Wow! Beautiful!" I exclaimed in admiration, "Glass bangles, and my favourite."


    I brought my palm to touch them carefully. I caught a glimpse of paper neatly folded tucked in a corner of the box. Setting aside the box on the side table, I unfolded the paper and noticed beautifully handwritten lines. I took a glance at the balcony and saw Eshan busy in conversation with someone on his mobile, his back towards me. I started reading wondering why to put the paper instead of directly talking.


    *


    "Your eyes have a spark,


    Like a light shining in the dark,


    The innocence of a child,


    I can feel it in your smile,


    It''s a different world you have stepped in,


    Just don''t forget it''s me whom you are with,


    Dear, just don''t be afraid, I am there,


    Hold my hand if you fear,


    The glass symbolizes my promise,


    You will be treasured all my life,


    Transparency and care,


    Yet the shielding armor,


    I promise to be the friend you need!


    I promise to be the support you seek!


    I promise to make you happy!


    Like this colorful gift,


    I promise to make our life exquisite!


    -


    Eshan


    *


    I was speechless once I finished reading. How thoughtful of him. Instead of gifting me something expensive, he just made the small glass bangles priceless with his words.


    ''Am I ready to let him, in? Am I ready to share my deepest secrets, hidden fear, and unvoiced feelings with him?''


    My eyes on their own accord went to Eshan. He stood leaning against railings facing me, staring intently at me still on call, with searching expression on his face. Was he all the time watching me?


    I gave him smile expressing my gratitude for his efforts, mouthing the word, "Thank You!"


    Eshan returned the smile nodding in my direction.


    I roamed my fingers once again over the page before folding it back and keeping it inside the box and closing its lid.


    Laying down I adjusted pillow behind my head. Closing my eyes, I recalled events of today and waited for sleep to come.


    Tablet I took before opening Eshan''s gift, while he went to the balcony, should be starting to work soon, helping me fall into nightmare-free sleep. I hoped it work. I have avoided taking them knowing of their side effects and also because of the fact, that Mom and Granny''s room was downstairs and they couldn''t see my condition while I suffered from nightmares. Now knowing that I would be living with Eshan, I had to get pills for my PTSD.


    ''I''m not ready to let him know about it, yet.'' While thinking about it, at some part of time medicine kicked in and sleep overtook my senses. I slept forgetting that, Eshan still stood outside in the cold night.

 Chapter 6 - New morning, past memories and caring side of Mr. Husband

    |Innaya|


    The sudden cold temperature in the room had me pull the blanket closer to my body. Still with closed eyes, my hand roamed for searching the remote of AC, generally kept on the other side of the bed beside my Dubu only to meet emptiness, not even the soft fluffy fur of Dubu, my teddy.


    I blinked my eyes several times to get rid of remnants of sleep and pulled my body so that my back could rest against the headrest.


    Disoriented at first, it took me several moments to realize that I was in my new home. The clock beside bed read 6 am, one hour past my usual time of waking up, seemed like medicine did work as I slept throughout without waking up in the middle of the night.


    Morning pleasant sun-rays along with cool air rushing in through the opened balcony door marked the beginning of new day. I noticed Eshan''s absence. Where was he? Did he not sleep? Had he left too? My breath hitched and I felt my heart racing up with the same fear crawling back.


    The sudden click of bathroom door caught my attention, which after a moment opened. Eshan walked out freshly showered, wiping his hair with towel humming some song, wearing black pants and vest.


    ''Okay! He is here. He has not left.''


    ''Okay! He is here. He has not left.''


    I repeated in my mind trying to calm my distressed self, wiping my sweaty palms on kurta I blinked twice to assure myself of his presence.


    "Good Morning, Innaya. Slept well?"Eshan wished as our eyes met.


    "Hmm yes... Good morning." I replied dragging myself out of the bed avoiding his gaze. I took my clothes from the suitcase and left for the bathroom.


    *


    After taking bath and getting ready, I left our room closing the door behind me. Last night after welcoming me his family had left because of some urgency telling me not to worry about such an important day, so it was just Eshan and me.


    Following the path Priya had shown me yesterday, I spotted the kitchen. Nothing in the world would have prepared me for witnessing Eshan preparing the breakfast. My feet halted near the entrance and eyes followed Eshan as he sauntered into the kitchen from the cooking marble counter to the wooden cabinet for taking out something, his back towards me.


    How could the person like him be working in the the kitchen? Aren''t men supposed to stay away from kitchen? I must admit it was actually very unusually good to meet a person like him. From the very start, he had been nothing less than Pandora box full of surprises, pleasant one if I may add. No one would say this was the same Eshan Singhaniya, the media portrayed as ruthless and cold.


    "la mia rosa, cosa stai facendo alla porta," Eshan surprised voice pulled me out of my reverie, I straightened up immediately, I felt heat creeping up on my cheeks as the embarrassment of being caught finally dawned on me.


    "What was that?" I asked, once again unable to decipher the foreign language.


    "Nothing, come inside," Eshan shook his head and giving his that beautiful smile gestured me to step inside.


    "What are you doing here?" I asked while walking towards him avoiding his amused eyes.


    Stopping beside him, I scanned the counter where the bowl with batter, olive oil bottle, and the plate was while on pan he had spread pancake for cooking.


    "What does it look like?" He questioned raising his hand holding the spatula spreader towards the counter.


    "Umm... I mean-


    "Relax Sweetheart; I am just preparing our breakfast. I can''t have my wife work on her first day that too this early, now can I?" Eshan interrupted me placing the spatula down while slowing down the flame.


    "Eshan, please let me do this," I mumbled turning towards sink for washing my hands ignoring the fluttering feeling at the endearment he used.


    "I''m not that bad cook, okay." Eshan declared with fake annoyance that I could see from the way he grinned.


    "Neither am I," I answered with a smile.


    "Why don''t we do one thing we both will make today''s breakfast?" He suggested with a proud smile as if he just solved the most difficult puzzle.


    "But-


    Eshan again cut me, "No but, now as you can see these pancakes are almost done, till then you can make orange juice."


    "Orange juice, seriously?" I frowned at him.


    What does he think I am, a spoilt princess who does not know anything?


    "Okay Sorry! Why don''t you make yourself comfortable and make something you prefer." Eshan announced on noticing my frown.


    "Better!" I opened refrigerator looking for something to go with pancakes.


    "Hmm, do you like beetroot sauce?" I asked as I spotted beetroots and green chilies.


    "Haven''t heard about it, go on let me know if you need anything." He answered while turning the pancake in the pan.


    I pulled out the glass bowl and filled it with water. Washing the beetroot and chilies in the sink, I placed chilies on the chopping board and beetroot in the bowl for soaking.


    Picking three oranges from fruit basket, I started peeling them one by one. Once done, putting one in manual juicer I started rotating the handle. After squeezing all three oranges in the juicer, I filled the juice in jug, adding a pinch of salt and two-tablespoon sugar and putting a lid over jug placed it in the fridge for cooling down.


    Pulling out chef''s knife from wooden cutlery stand beside the sink and washing it, I started cutting the chilies into small pieces all the while aware of Eshan''s glances towards me. Peeling out the hard cover of beetroot, dicing them in middle pieces, I put them into a food processor.


    Standing beside Eshan, I put the oil in a pan. Adding the required ingredient and then pouring the beetroot juice, I let it cook putting a lid on it. I turned towards the sink to wash out the used utensils.


    As the spicy aroma of sauce entered my nose the memory of Grandpa''s love for it came rushing to my mind tightening my chest with grief.


    "Aah," The sudden cut in my finger had me cry out in pain. I looked towards my thumb of left palm holding the knife that accidentally had pierced little in my skin making a small gash that was bleeding.


    *-*


    "You careless brat."


    "Don''t you dare to shed those crocodile tears, you pathetic excuse for a human being."


    "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU -


    "


    *-*


    Eshan was in front of me, speaking something I could not hear as those words rang in my ears. I involuntary took a step back as fear of Eshan''s reaction seeped in.


    "oh mio dio, cosa hai fatto", Eshan worried voice prevented me from further backing out. He took the knife from my hand before I could make more damage.


    "I... I''m sorry... I''ll just clean this mess-" I rambled turning to find cloth for wiping the drops of blood on the counter.


    "Innaya, you will do no such thing. Let me see." Eshan held my shoulders turning me towards him.


    "It''s nothing Eshan." I tried moving away.


    "Let me be the judge, please," he added holding my bleeding finger. Dragging my unwilling self to sink with him, he put my finger under running water of tap.


    I just waited for him to scold me for being careless.


    "Is it paining?" Eshan asked, putting band-aid on it after cleaning with an antiseptic liquid.


    I nodded in negative not able to trust my voice, seeing his care over such small wound.


    I did not realize I was crying, until Eshan''s fingers touched my cheeks, wiping the tears from my face with a gentle caress.


    "Don''t cry, Mio Caro!" Eshan pulling me towards him held me closer, softly caressing my hair with one hand while other wrapped around my shoulders.


    My hands remained on my sides, as I closed my eyes letting his warmth engulf me.


    I did not expect this kind of reaction from him. What did I expect?


    Anger? Shouting? Accusations? Disappointment? Casual? Ignorance?


    Whatever it was but not this worried Eshan, who behaved as if I was a child, handled me with care held me as if I am some fragile doll. I let his presence, his natural scent calmed my agitated nerves.


    *


    "Are you going to college?" Eshan asked me, as we sat for the breakfast on the dining table.


    I nodded taking a sip of the water.


    "When are your exams starting and till when?" Eshan asked dipping a piece of his pancake in beetroot sauce. How simply he managed to make a thing like eating,graceful.


    "From next week, I have four theory papers and three practicals. I will be done with exams on 26th of April." I answered chiding my mind to focus on the conversation rather than ogling at his lips.


    "This Sauce is delicious Innaya, you are definitely great cook." Eshan appreciated relishing the taste of sauce with closed eyes.


    "Thank you!" Involuntarily smile, broke on my lips.


    "What will you do till then? What about your business?" I asked curiously, as he had told me about us shifting to Mumbai after my exams.


    "Our," Eshan replied, gazing into my eyes.


    "Huh?" Unable to understand his meaning I asked.


    "Our business Innaya, how many times should I tell you that everything that belongs to me is now yours too? And I will be working from here only."


    My eyes widen little. God, every time how he manages to make such sweet declarations?


    Suddenly my throat felt dry, keeping my fork down I hurriedly gulped the orange juice.


    "Hmm... By the way, you haven''t told me about what business you are in. I mean I know, you learned from Grandpa but I don''t know who exactly Eshan Singhaniya is?" I questioned, realizing I actually not know anything about him.


    "Well Sweetheart, you have the whole life to get to know who exactly Eshan Singhaniya is."


    *Cough* *Cough* * Cough*


    I started coughing badly, shocked at his reply. Tears gathered in my eyes because of coughing, I felt Eshan''s one hand rubbing my back and another hand holding glass of water near my lips.


    "Be careful Innaya."


    I found Eshan rubbing my back concerned even after my coughing subsided.


    "I''m okay," I managed to answer, pushing his hand little that held the glass.


    "Sure?" Eshan asked unsure about my answer.


    "Hmm" I answered smiling little.


    His care was a little overwhelming. Having someone apart from my family care for me this way was genuinely surprising and touching, knocking on that locked door of my heart arguing with my mind for granting access.


    *

 Chapter 7 - First day at college after marriage

    |Innaya|


    I rolled down the window glass, letting the cool air greet me. The silence between Eshan and me was comfortable, not the biting one as he drove his white Mercedes towards my college.


    I tucked the few tendrils that escaped from my ponytail while keeping my gaze outside as I watched the trees across both side of road we were passing through. I ignored Eshan''s fleeting glances towards me in-between. The Mercedes came to halt outside the college gate.


    "Thank you!" Meeting his eyes for a brief moment I thanked him and turned to open the door for leaving. ''Least I get lost in those hypnotizing orbs and do something embarrassing.''


    "Call me once you are done," Eshan told me before climbing down the car.


    "Hmm... Bye," I assured, coming out before walking to his side of the window.


    Unsure of why was I walking towards him, when the whole ride I did not even reciprocate the glances his way like he did. I stood beside his now opened window.


    "Take care, Tesoro," Eshan said, after staring at me for a while. I did not know why, but it felt nice to know he cared.


    His lips curved in an amused smirk, bringing me out of my lost land. I nodded and with that, the car sped off, leaving me standing at the college gate.


    *


    The old long trees on both side of the stone pathway, leading towards the management building of our college, was less crowded with students, as exams were nearing.


    I walked a little faster spotting the familiar face of my best friend near the benches outside of our building.


    "Hey, Innu!" She stood up hurriedly once she caught sight of me coming near to her.


    "Are you alright? Where were you? I called so many times. Why weren''t you answering my calls?", she fired her questions altogether simultaneously checking me for any kind of harm or injury knowing I was prone to them.


    "Vermilion-


    ?"


    I couldn''t help but smile at her care, but that smile fell immediately as she discovered the vermilion in my hair that I had covered carefully before leaving the house. Our families had decided to keep the marriage as a secret, until I complete my college as they feared media would create unnecessary problems, especially for me.


    I decided to calm down her first. Holding her by her shoulders, I looked into her hazel eyes that were widened in shock, little apprehensive of her reaction once I revealed the truth.


    "Siya... Take a deep breath. One, two, thr-"


    "Shut up! Answer me, NOW," Siya cut my sentence, shrugging my hands off her shoulder.


    "I''m waiting," Siya glared at me, folding her hands across her chest while tapping her right foot on the floor. She always did that, when she was super mad at someone or something. ''Please God save me.''


    I raised my hands in surrender stepping back before taking a deep breath preparing myself for answers she wanted.


    "Okay, first thing first I am okay and answer for rest of your questionnaire is... I got married yesterday." I finished in a single sentence, knowing dragging would only result in a bad way for me.


    "Married? What a joke?"


    ''Joke? She thinks I could make up something like marriage. Like seriously girl?'' However, who was I kidding, anyone with a sane mind would think like that if they were to be told that their best friend whom they met just two days before had gotten married and that too without any information.


    "Siya, it is no joke. I am a married woman now. See this," I thought to take the matter slowly and pull out the wedding chain from my top and pointed it to her.


    "You didn''t invite me?" She accused taking a step towards me.


    "Were you forced?" She asked concerned.


    "Forced? God! No, Siya," I answered immediately afraid she would assume something more badly about our marriage.


    *smack* *smack* *smack* *smack*


    Before I could step back, she started smacking me with her hands in-between mumbling some incoherent curses.


    Other student stared our way, some laughing, some amused while some shook their heads knowing it was usual to expect such kind of behavior from Ms. Siya Raghav.


    Somehow, I was able to hold Siya''s hands, stopping her little painful assault on me. Dragging her away from the crowd, I pulled her into an empty classroom. Settling down on one of the benches at the backside, I narrated her everything.


    It took a while after shedding some tears, earning some smacks and glares, making of some promises but in the end, she came to an understanding of what I did and why I did, engulfing me in a bear hug.


    *


    After our conversation in the empty classroom, Siya had filled me on the college activities of last week when I was absent. She told me that Mr. Roy had inquired about me thrice and had asked for my immediate presence in his cabin as soon as possible.


    Mr. Roy had joined our college two years ago after he completed his post graduation from our college itself. Given credit to his handsome personality, girls had dug about his personal life and thanks to them, everyone knew about him, his single status, and many other details. He was, loved professor because of his knowledge, behaviour, looks, and his age.


    He always behaved in a courteous way, not giving any heeds to loving stares, flirting advances thrown in his way. He very respectfully kept everything related to studies only and that earned him my respect.


    "May I come in, Sir?" I knocked on Mr. Roy''s cabin door that was already open, wondering about the reason behind calling me.


    "Innaya, oh yes come inside." Mr. Roy rose from his chair once he saw me.


    "Sir, Siya said you-


    "Where were you? You know how worried-" he interrupted me before I could complete my sentence. I could see the concern in his eyes.


    He is worried about me. Nope. Why would he be? He must be talking about Siya.


    "Yes Sir, Siya already took my class for worrying her," I answered smilingly remembering our earlier encounter.


    "Umm... Sir, you called me for-" I inquired again.


    "Oh... hmm... Yes," he fumbled, as if forgot the reason.


    He searched for something on his table, turning away from me. I was unable to figure out his strange behaviour. He appeared lost.


    "There is the international conference on digital marketing held in Mumbai next month; my paper has been selected for it. I was wondering if you could assist me. I mean it would be a good experience for you and it will help you in your future. Only if you are willing," he explained handing me some papers.


    Why me? I wanted to ask that question so desperately yet I refrained myself. ''Maybe he is just being generous'' my mind suggested, but the way he rubbed his palms together or the way his forehead wrinkled I was confused about what to make out of his behaviour.


    For the conference, he repeatedly inquired about me. That is strange. I shook my head shrugging those thoughts while taking papers from you.


    "If you don''t mind, can I tell you tomorrow?" I asked making sure to avoid his hopeful eyes.


    "No problem, I will be waiting." He smiled.


    "Thank you, Sir!" I left after nodding in his direction, too caught up with thoughts of this meeting that I did not return the smile and wait for anything.


    *

 Chapter 8 - Mr. Husbands Demand of Hospital Visit

    |Innaya|


    I stepped outside of college gate with Siya beside me while I filled her about what happened in Mr. Roy''s cabin.


    "So," Siya dragged out the word while arching her right eyebrow upwards.


    "So what Siya, I am not sure about this. However, I will be in Mumbai at that time but I do not think I should go on with it," I answered her thinking she asked about my opinion while roaming my eyes on the papers Sir handed to me, "It will be like taking credit of something I haven''t done. It''s his hard work," I finished feeling bad.


    "I was not talking about the conference you Idiot," Siya smacked lightly on my hand.


    "What the -


    I rubbed the place while glaring at her.


    "Shut up Innaya. There is nothing to think about, Sir asked you because Verma Sir, who happened to be the co-author of Roy Sir''s paper are going abroad for another conference at the same timeline and as he is your guide for the project so he must have put forward your name to Roy Sir. Technically as Roy Sir said, it will be a good opportunity for you," Siya informed, in a serious tone.


    ''Could Verma Sir suggest my name? Agreed he is my project guide but recommending my name?''


    "But-


    Siya again cut my words unaffected of my glare, "No, you aren''t taking undue credit for something. You will be working on it after the exam. Chill, why don''t we do one thing? You go home discuss with your husband and then decide."


    "Hmm--


    Seriously? You had to interrupt me again.


    "Now before you divert the topic to something else as you did before, by that ''so'' I meant to ask you about your husband." Rolling her eyes Siya told me her main question


    "What about Eshan," I asked confused.


    Stopping abruptly Siya stood in front of me with hands on her hips glaring at me, she gritted, "YOU, are you planning on keeping your husband secret as the other information you kept from me?"


    "What the-


    I thought we were past that secret thing.


    "When am I meeting him?" She asked again bringing my attention back to the point.


    "Oh," I sighed once registering her demand.


    "Oh," Siya rolled her eyes dramatically.


    "Eshan?" The familiar figure of Eshan in black Armani standing against his White Mercedes door caught my attention.


    What a striking contrast.


    "Yes Eshan, your Eshan."


    "Siya, shut up," I hissed lowly at her while dragging her towards his way.


    "What are you doing here?" I asked as we reached near him.


    Wasn''t he supposed to be at home?


    "Hello Tesoro," Eshan whispered his greetings in my ear. Wrapping his arm around my shoulders Eshan pulled me towards himself


    His deep husky voice caused some fluttering in my heart, while the warmth of HIM provided the comfort of home.


    "Huh?" Dazed I looked at his face as he squeezed my shoulder lightly, when I didn''t answer.


    "I said hello sweetheart. I came to pick my wife," Eshan answered, giving his that beautiful smile while taking off shades from his eyes.


    "Hello Sir, I''m Siya Raghav Innu''s best friend." Siya interrupted again introducing herself as I was too lost to say anything.


    "Call me Eshan Siya, nice to meet you." Eshan turned towards her greeting her still holding me.


    "Shall we go sweetheart?" Turning his head into my direction, Eshan asked lovingly staring in my eyes.


    I nodded still affected by his closeness unable to form any words.


    Saying our goodbyes to Siya, we sat in the car.


    Once settled inside Eshan turned towards me.


    "How was your day, Sweetheart?"


    What was with him and endearment?


    "Good and yours?" I answered while keeping my bag in the back seat.


    "How would it be without my beautiful wife... boring?" I whipped my head so fast, forgetting that my body was turned backward, resulting in the collision of my head with something.


    "Ouch!"


    " Careful!"


    We both uttered at the same time.


    I rubbed my forehead thankful that the impact was not too strong.


    I noticed he had brought his palm in between his seat, and me as he moved little backward before my head could hit, forcefully on it.


    "Thanks!" I muttered in low voice.


    ''Why I have to embarrass myself?'' However, it would not have happened, if he had not said something like that in the first place.


    "When you had TT''s shot?" This time carefully I turned towards him as he asked the question unexpectedly.


    "TT?" I questioned puzzled.


    "Tetanus munchkin." He answered shaking his head lightly.


    "Tetanus? Munchkin?"


    What the? Did he really think I don''t know what TT is? Now once again new endearment.


    "Yes." He nodded his head upside down as if he really got across his point.


    "I have had the shot, so I don''t need one and it''s just small cut it''s not like I have cut my whole hand." I huffed angrily folding my hands on my chest and turned my attention to the road.


    "Pazza, ragazza stupida. Parla spazzatura. oh Dio aiutami a non rimproverarla. cosa devo fare con questa ragazza?"(Mad, stupid girl. Talk rubbish. Oh, god helps me not to scold her. What shall I do with this girl?)


    He muttered something too fast in his favourite language.


    Maybe on noticing my frown, he switched back to English, with darkened eyes he spoke as if warning, "Don''t you talk like that-


    Annoyed with his language I pointed my finger in his direction to put my point, gritting the word so he would understand, "YOU don''t talk like that. Just because I don''t know the language doesn''t mean you can say whatever you please and insult me."


    "Insult you?" Astonished he asked, turning the car to left.


    "Haha... Haha... Insult.... Haha... God."


    "Il mio adorabile gattino, sei cos¨¬ carino."(My adorable kitten, you are so cute.)


    First, he laughed at me and then he dared to use that Italian or French or whatever language again.


    "Will you please, shut up?" Frustrated I asked.


    "I can never insult you and will not allow even you to insult my sweet adorable wife." Boring his dark eyes into mine, he stated seriously.


    His eyes delivered the message straight to my heart, causing little happiness to it, so it decided to beat loudly in acknowledgement.


    "Back to the main point, when you had TT shot, tell me the truth or-


    "Did you just threaten me?" I asked while narrowing my eyes at him.


    "Oh... No, my dear I just warned you. You tell me or I''ll call Granny." He winked at me.


    Granny. Great now he knows how to get to my answer.


    "Fine, when I was nine." Defeated I answer refusing to dwell on the memory of why I had it in the first place.


    "Seems like, you need one now," Eshan stated as if we were talking about some chocolates.


    "What the-


    Seems like ''what the'' is the line of the day.


    "No, what the Sweetheart, we are going to the doctor and having TT," Eshan said interrupting me.


    "Eshan, for you kind information TT is given when one is hurt by rusted metal," I informed him why people would go for TT.


    "No, my dear, Tetanus is given when your skin breaks and anyway after 15 one should get TT even if it has been taken already. You can ask the doctor."


    "Oh no..." I started only to cut by him again.


    What was with people cutting my sentences today? First Siya then Roy Sir and now Eshan. God!


    "Oh yes and see we are here." Eshan parked the car.


    "I am not coming," I answered stubbornly.


    "Either you come by yourself or I don''t mind carrying you," opening door of my side Eshan said gesturing towards his arms.


    "You wouldn''t," my eyes widened on the own.


    "Try me," he answered simply shrugging his shoulders in response.


    "Fine!" Stomping my foot like a child I followed him into the clinic, which appeared homely given credit to the beautiful garden.


    *


    "Hello, doctor uncle." Eshan greeted an elderly man who appeared to be in his sixties, once we entered inside the doctor''s cabin after taking an appointment.


    We were the only patients! But then the board where 6-9 pm in evening appointment time had cleared that doubt


    At one corner of the room, I could see the bed for checking the patients separated by curtains. The room had light blue walls with the table in middle with two wooden cushioned chairs on the opposite side of doctor''s. The doctor with big round glasses, who was bald, sat wearing a stethoscope around his neck in what I supposed was swirling chair that had his white coat draped from the backside.


    "Eshan, come inside my boy," the surprised doctor''s face broke into a smile.


    ''Seems like my husband is well aware of people here in Bangalore too.''


    "How are you- oh who is this young beautiful woman with you," he asked as his gaze fell on me.


    "I''m fine uncle and this is my wife Innaya," Eshan answered, pushing my reluctant self towards the chair, with his arm around my shoulders.


    "Hello, Sir!" I smiled not wanting to be rude. He did nothing to me; all credit goes to my husband.


    "Call me uncle, Innaya." The doctor said dismissing any formality.


    Eshan and doctor uncle chatted for a while, from what I gathered, the doctor uncle was a friend of Eshan''s father.


    "So what brings you here Eshan," Uncle asked as their catching up on past came to an end.


    "We are here for TT shot for Innaya uncle. Her last shot was the 12-years ago," Eshan answered glancing in my direction with that sweet smile I was hating.


    "He is just being paranoid Uncle. It''s just a small cut." I tried making the doctor understand how stupid my husband was being.


    "Actually he is right Innaya. It''s better to have a shot after 16." The doctor agreed with Eshan.


    "But it''s not from any rusted metal." I still protested. Being doctor, he should be aware of that small thing.


    "Rusted metal is not the only case. When your skin tears then Tetanus is taken as a preventive measure from bacterial infections." Uncle explained.


    Before I could protest anymore, he pressed the bell and moments later a woman around my Mom''s age entered wearing a nurse uniform.


    "Mrs. Sophie, Tetanus for Innaya." Uncle instructed the nurse whom he addressed Mrs. Sophie.


    "Please follow me, Ma''am." She nodded at doctor then looking at me gestured towards the door.


    "Hang on, wait. Sorry sir- I mean uncle I can''t have an injection I get fever afterward," I hurriedly stated.


    ''How on the earth I am supposed to say, I HATE INJECTIONS. Scratch that I FEARED them.''


    "When was the last time you had an injection?" Uncle said giving me a look that screamed he knew what was wrong.


    "It''s been a long." I answered looking down. I am a bad liar.


    "No problem, I will write down some medicines."


    "But-


    "Go." This time Eshan said motioning his head towards the door.


    "Fine, lead the way." Knowing they wouldn''t falter from their decision I got up.


    Why me?


    *


    "This way ma''am-" Mrs. Sophie led me through the corridor, in a room that had ''Procedure room''s written in bold.


    I entered after her and a strong smell of floor cleaning disinfectant liquid had me cover my nose with the back of my hand. The room had two beds, each covered with white clean sheets and pillow. The counter at the other end filled with so many medicines and other equipment.


    As I sat down at the very edge of bed feeling utterly helpless, I heard Mrs. Sophie''s voice from the counter, "Please lie down."


    "Lie down? Don''t you, give it in the arm?" I questioned eyeing that syringe in her hand with wide eyes.


    "We do, but it''s better in hips." She answered concentrating on filling that syringe.


    "No, it''s fine in the arm." It is better that way.


    "Lower down your jeans ma''am we give TT in hips," she ordered coming towards me with that injection with that long needle.


    ''That is it, now there is no escaping from this dreading moment.''


    I closed my eyes in fright, my heart beating loudly I could hear it in my ears. I wet my suddenly dry lips with the tip of my tongue, trying to swallow down the sudden nervousness.


    I jumped slightly as I felt hand touched my shoulder. I waited for that cold needle to touch my skin but when nothing came, I opened my right eye slightly to see what was taking so long.


    Instead of glass-covered poker face of nurse, those dark captivating eyes stared back at me with assurance.

 Chapter 9 - Dont be afraid... Im here

    |Eshan|


    I felt lost as those eyes stared at me in utter confusion. Confusion in them not had me feel uncomfortable. She was ought to be confused seeing me there.


    What caused my breath to struck in my throat was the fright, I witnessed in those soulful eyes of my wife as she laid there on that hospital bed.


    She did not like the injection. It was obvious when she tried to divert topic in our journey towards the clinic or the way she conversed with the doctor in his cabin. However, I did not expect, what I assumed dislike... was actually the fear. Fear that I was now seeing in her those beautiful eyes.


    She laid stiff on her left side, her face scrunched up in distaste. Fingers of her right hand were balled into a fist near her chest so tightly that I could see they have turned white and her toes were curled inwards.


    Watching her so vulnerable, I felt protective. I wanted to pick her up and run away, hiding her in my arms away from every misery, pain.


    Despite the protests of my heart to take her away, I found myself seating beside her with my back towards her stomach and leaving a very little distance between us.


    "Have you eaten anything in college?" I asked Innaya, moving my palm from her shoulder to her clenched fist, taking it in my own, rubbing it lightly.


    I strongly wanted to hold her. However, I knew she would not appreciate me doing that, at least not in front of the Nurse present in the room. I was already taking too many liberties with her.


    Another reason of refraining was I know she did not want the sympathy. Maybe she thought either I would pity her or would make fun of her, so she did not confide her fears with me. I wanted her to be comfortable with me and importantly on her own.


    She just blinked her eyes twice trying to be strong yet I could see her internal struggle. Her eyes were like a mirror of her emotions. It amazed me how easily I could read her through them.


    Slowly opening her fist, I entwined my fingers with her, feeling relieved that she did not pull back. The low whimper from her lips, sudden tightening of her grip on my palm and slight jerk of her body told me that the nurse present in the room had done her work.


    "It''s done. Wait for 15 minutes and then leave."


    I nodded, thanking Nurse for her assistance as she informed us. The fading click of metal against the floor told me that Nurse had left giving us privacy.


    "You okay?" I asked, helping her to sit.


    My hands itched to wrap them around her, to have her closer, to ensure that she was safe. Innaya just hummed in response. She had her eyes closed, not allowing me to know how she felt. It hurt watching her being so closed up.


    Acting against my own judgment, I inched closer to her and wrapped my hands around her, pulling her soft body gently in my arms. I knew she would not reciprocate the hug like last time where I had held her in the kitchen. However, after a few moments later I was pleasantly surprised when she put her hands around me, resting her head against my chest.


    ''Her eyes are the mirror of her emotions,


    Showcasing the hidden secrets,


    Words fail sometimes,


    Unable to convey the message,


    Instead a simple gesture of hers,


    Is enough to realize,


    The acceptance of her heart,


    The foundation of trust we are building!''

 Chapter 10 - You will be fine...

    |Innaya|


    If two weeks before someone would have told me that I would be comfortably snuggling with the person I have never seen before, I would have probably laughed till my stomach ached and tears fell from my eyes. Of course after beating some sense in that person''s hollow head. However, I am forced to question my own judgment as I found myself putting my arms around my husband.


    The image of nine years old me, struggling to breathe as the pain in my back worsened, screaming for my mother, appeared in front of my closed eyes.


    That memory had me tighten my hold, around him as I felt something wet on my cheek. I realized tears were running down through my closed eyelids, not wanting to ruin his shirt I pressed my eyelids tightly to stop the traitorous tears.


    The week-long stay in the hospital, four stitches, injections, those IV''s, and the sympathetic glances of staff, as well as relatives, were permanently etched in my memory. That incident not only caused the physical damage to me but also had affected me mentally, much more badly.


    Sometimes it''s not the wound that hurt most but the scars because over the time wound will heal however, scars left will haunt the person forever.


    The gentle caresses on my back along with the comfort his presence helped me to compose my distressed self. I pulled back after sometimes making sure to avoid Eshan''s eyes and turned away wiping my face hastily with the scarf to remove any traces of tears.


    Wordlessly we left from there for our home.


    *


    Deep down, I knew it was not Eshan''s fault to take me to the hospital yet I could not bring myself to talk with him. He was not aware that the simple visit would turn out to be the painful reminder. I should have told him but I could not bring myself to share something so personal.


    Being my husband, he had every right to know everything, but how could I trust him? From childhood, I had been less talkative with people I barely knew. I hoped while detailing about me, Granny, had not missed telling Eshan this important information.


    Maybe, he knew. Maybe, that was the reason he did not force me to express or share. He remained by my side offering me his silent support. I had seen questions swirling in his eyes yet somehow he kept them to himself... not voicing them... even once.


    "Innaya," Eshan''s hesitant voice, called me from the bedroom door. I looked up from my laptop at him.


    His face held guilty expression; I realized he was probably beating himself for my reaction.


    "I... I am."


    "Eshan, come here." I gestured him towards recliner I was sitting.


    "What should I make for dinner?" I asked changing the topic as he sat beside me.


    "Innaya, I am-"


    I interrupted his apology, "Eshan, it''s not your fault. You did what you felt was right," trying to assure him.


    "I know the shot was needed, what I am saying is... I am sorry to force you there like this. I did not know," Eshan answered taking my palm in his, playing with my fingers, keeping his eyes on them.


    "Exactly, you did not know. So it''s okay." I answered looking at his face avoiding the sensation his fingers created on my skin.


    "Now tell me what should I make?" I repeated hoping he would let go of the topic.


    "There is something for you downstairs, come," Eshan said standing up and tugging at my hand.


    I stared at his face, noticing he still did not meet my eyes. I stood up, keeping my attention on his eyes that were busy looking away from me.


    I raised my hand, placing it on his right side of face surprising myself. His eyes turned to it first and then traveled to my face. I felt my breath hitching as I noticed the raw pain in those eyes that I was used to seeing vibrant, amused, surprised, assuring, and so much... but never pained.


    "Eshan," hoarse whisper of his name left my lips unconsciously. The sudden lump in my throat, an elevated beating of my heart and stinging sensation in my eyes had me stumble back, withdrawing my hand suddenly from his face as if burned.


    ¡ª


    ''You are a disappointment.''


    ''You brought bad luck to my life.''


    ''I gave you everything and you ruined my life.''


    _


    ¡ª


    Those voices came back to haunt me. "I... I am... sorry Eshan..." I mumbled not knowing what to say or do. In that moment, for the first time I felt frustration upon myself for doing this to anyone... especially to my husband who had done everything keeping my comfort in his mind. I felt like a horrible person.


    It was me who had cut herself, it was me who did not tell him about my fear of injection, it was me who was reserved. Here, he was blaming himself for putting me through something, which was my fault.


    What had I done?


    My feet no longer were able to hold my weight, they gave in and I felt myself sinking down on the floor as sobs racked my body. I covered my face with my hands, unable to see the disappointment I caused to him. That was one of the reasons, I never wanted to involve anyone in my life.


    I drew my knees together to shove away that depressing feeling, shaking my head, covering my ears somehow to mute those voices.


    Nothing worked! I curled myself, rocking my body harshly to just make everything disappear. I wanted my mother to hold me, to assure me it would be fine.


    I felt someone calling my name frantically, worried. Seconds later, I felt myself being pulled into a hug, a steady voice whispering words in my ears that I could not comprehend.


    I did not know, for how much time I sat there crying while the comforting hands held me. Slowly, everything started fading away as I felt too exhausted to make sense of anything.


    Before losing myself in darkness, I heard the deep voice softly whispering in my ears, "You will be fine!"

 Chapter 11 - Scary Nightmare

    |Innaya|


    The sound of latch opening had me curl up in the bed and shut my eyes more tightly, gripping the blanket in my fist. The angry footsteps against the floor in otherwise silent night elevated my heartbeat more and my breaths started coming out in pants as the person started nearing.


    The hand ripped blanket away from my body and other hand hauled my body upwards. Frightened, I frantically tried to loosen the painful hold on my arm only to have the grip tightening.


    Tears sprang, in my brown eyes and scream tore from my throat as my eyes landed on the masked intruder whose red bloodshot eyes stared at me menacingly. The masked intruder glared angrily clamping my mouth shut and strangling my neck with the other hand that had gripped me previously.


    My eyes widened as I felt my windpipe being chocked. Desperately, I tried clawing onto the hand of my assaulter, only to be pressed back on the bed with him hovering over me with a manic glint in those scary eyes.


    The tears flowed mercilessly and I couldn''t breathe. I thrashed wildly, as the grip on my throat tauten painfully, the life in my eyes fading away as I felt the death sucking life the out of me -


    _


    .


    I opened my eyes gasping for air, I gulped a large amount of air through my nose and mouth trying to provide my lungs the required oxygen.


    "Shh... you are okay. It was just a nightmare."


    "Innaya, it''s okay. You are okay sweetheart."


    "Lascia andare caro. Sono qui. Non ti preoccupare."(Let go dear. I am here. Don''t worry.)


    Eshan''s smooth voice calmed my estranged nerves.


    I realized Eshan was holding me, caressing me as someone does to a scared child. I just let his solid presence, his comforting hands, his encouraging and calming words wash over me assuring me it was just a nightmare, a scary nightmare.


    My heart that was thudding madly started slowing down as I felt his steady heartbeats under my palm pressed against his chest beside my face.


    My breathing returned to normal as well as the shivering of my body stopped. Maybe, Eshan realized that too as he pulled himself away. His palms cupped my face and pad of his thumbs rubbed gently under my eyes, wiping the reminiscent of tears that had flown in my sleep.


    "Are you okay?" He asked softly.


    "Hmm," I found myself nodding.


    I took a proper look at him, hair disheveled as if he had run his hands through them many times messing them in frustration, tired face, eyes worried, in short he appeared as shaken as me.


    Our eyes locked and I saw relief flooding in his eyes as I tried assuring him by blinking my eyes.


    Eshan leaned towards me, all the while looking into my eyes. I presumed he could see surprise registering in my eyes, as he stopped with his face inches apart from mine, maybe waiting for some reaction, sort of giving me chance to deny him, push him. I could feel his warm breath on my skin tinkling my already heightened senses.


    I gave no response, hypnotized with his captivating eyes, Eshan placed his lips on my forehead giving an affectionate and lingering kiss as if silently conveying his worry, concern, his all emotions, his unsaid words. My eyes closed at the instant I felt his affectionate touch. The close proximity affecting strongly as I felt anxiety being replaced by fuzzy feeling in my heart.


    "I was scared!" I heard Eshan whisper against my skin still in the same position, his lips moving against my forehead playing tantalisingly against my senses causing the blush to rise on my face.


    "I''m sorry!" Eshan confessed in guilty tone, his voice heavy with emotions.


    He pulled back slowly, coming to his original place still not removing his palms cupping my face. I could see how sorry he felt for the whole situation, even though at first place it was not his fault.


    "I''ll bring food, you need to eat," saying so Eshan turned to leave.


    I held his wrist stopping him. I did not feel like eating. He turned, looking questioningly towards me.


    I took my hand back quickly thinking he did not like the gesture. I hurriedly explained that I do not need food.


    "I was not asking your opinion. You have to eat." Eshan answered being his usual self with me. He behaved as if everything was normal. He did not question first as I thought, he cared about my well-being.


    Not giving me further chance, Eshan made his way towards the door, I stared at his retreating back, with little amusement as if seeing this shade of him for the first time, when he suddenly turned back and giving his that breathtaking smile said, "I''ll be back soon!"


    I managed to nod slightly, his smile knocking my breath away. A small smile appeared on my face.


    Once he left, I glanced at the wall clock. It read 10 pm. I''d slept for more than four hours. Dragging myself out of the bed, I walked into the bathroom.


    The puffy red eyes, messy hairs, dried tear marks greeted me as I stood in front of the mirror. It was miracle Eshan did not feel disgusted with my appearance instead he kissed me.


    I knew he would have more questions this time and I wondered how he felt about happenings of this evening.


    He deserved to know, not the complete part yet some bits and pieces so that he could understand me better. I could not let my fears create distance in our relation. The relation I willingly accepted.


    Firming my decision, I sprawled water on my face letting the cold water wash out my remaining worries.


    *

 Chapter 12 - Sleep my dear, it has been a long day!

    |Innaya|


    "You want to talk about it?" Eshan asked after we finished our food. He was quite insistent that I finished everything he brought and he made sure that I did what he wanted.


    "Hmm..." I gave a brief nod.


    "Why don''t we sit in the balcony?"


    I could easily make, how apprehensive he sounded as he regarded me cautiously.


    I walked first without replying, I knew he would understand and he did as he followed me.


    It was the first time I was stepping in there. The balcony was spacious and had railings up to my chest level. At one end, three-seater sofa in brown and beige colour with two brown colour cushions was placed and at another end, plants in pots were arranged in a careful manner on different shelves. Middle space was empty. I walked towards railings and let my body weight rest on the folded arms I kept upon them.


    Billions of stars adorned sky, intensifying the beauty of the already beautiful moon. The area surrounding our house had long and dense trees at a little distance away from the fencing, hiding the rest of areas effectively.


    It looked like a farm. The wind flowing through those trees carried the sweet smell of mangoes proudly implying their arrival in upcoming summer


    The slight shuffling beside me, told me Eshan was waiting for me to start. I kept my eyes glued to moon letting its light chase away darkness clouding around me.


    I sighed, knowing I had to let out some of the information. I decided to keep it brief. Inhaling the fresh air I framed my words in mind.


    "I told you, I had TT at 9... Well, I had a deep wound on my back from the rusty metal as I fell on it and that landed me in hospital. Let''s just say that... that experience was not the pleasant one. I do not like hospitals." I started ignoring the little pang in my chest for not being completely honest.


    "I am sorry to remind you of that." Eshan''s voice fell upon my ears, he was standing so near, yet his voice felt distant. I realized he was regretting his actions.


    "It was okay... Your presence helped me in hospital. It... It was not that bad. It''s just I am not talkative when I am upset over something." It was time that he let go of the guilt. This time being honest with my feelings, I told him. It was hard to confess something like this to the same person.


    "I figured it now." He answered, for my last line.


    Okay, so Granny didn''t tell him.


    "The disappointment in your eyes -" He opened his mouth to interrupt, yet I continued, knowing I would not be able to do so later, "Let me just complete it, please. I now realized that it was not for me, nevertheless, it just had me remember the look people in my life had given to me." Words just continued to come out of my mouth on their own.


    I purposefully ignored looking at him, as I knew last part must have raised questions in his mind and continued, "I am okay now. It was past... I just don''t know how, but it came back and I sort of compared you to them and rest you know."


    From the corner of my eyes, I saw deep frown gracing his otherwise handsome face. I waited for him to say something, anything;


    However, he seemed lost in thoughts. Why wouldn''t he be? The information he just received was incomplete and being the intelligent person he was, he must have figured it out.


    The uncomfortable silence I thought was going to last, broke when Eshan questioned, his voice low and careful, "You want to talk about your nightmare?" He added, "If only you are comfortable."


    Should I tell? I winced at that dreadful memory of my nightmare.


    "It was some masked person strangling the girl. I ... I felt him choking me." I felt tears gathering in my eyes as I recalled how real it felt.


    "Hey, it is fine. You are fine." Eshan must have noticed my distress as he put his hand around my shoulders, gently rubbing my arm and I realized he was right, there was no point, on crying over it.


    "Now let past be past. We will start afresh." Eshan commented in a cheerful voice.


    Eshan led me towards the sofa. I was amused when instead of letting me sit, he told me to wait in the corner.


    He unfolded the sofa and arranged it in a way, that sofa turned into the bed. I was not expecting that. Once he adjusted pillows and blanket on the bed he turned to me grinning, gesturing his eyes towards the bed he raised his hands like a magician, his eyes twinkling with mischief.


    I smiled, at his attempt of changing the gloomy mood. He lied down on the right side near railings and beckoned with his eyes to the empty side beside him.


    Yesterday night I slept before him and had no idea when he slept or when he woke up. Sharing the bed with him after our recent talks felt too intimate, with thudding heart I sat down with some distance between us.


    "How was your college? You will have to study now. Focus on studies." Eshan turned his body in my direction propping his head on his left elbow.


    I then remembered Mr. Roy and conference.


    "Hmm... Eshan, my professor asked me that can I accompany him to the international conference." I decided to ask his opinion.


    "International conference?" He gave questioning look.


    "Yeah. Mumbai, next month," I affirmed.


    "Are you talking about the one on digital marketing?" He questioned with surprise.


    "Yup¡ª wait how do you know?" I asked.


    "Sweetheart, your husband is one of the speakers and judges too for that." He proudly stated.


    "What?" I ignored the sweetheart part.


    "Yes, my dear wife," Eshan confirmed tugging at my arm to lie down.


    "Okay, so I shall deny professor tomorrow," I muttered.


    ''How am I going to tell this to Mr. Roy without revealing about my marriage?'' So lost in thoughts I did not notice that I obeyed his request and was laying down beside him.


    "You won''t. It will be a good experience for you so, say yes to him. I will inform organizers and they will find a replacement for judging position." Eshan answered, pulling the comforter over us. I felt heat crawling on my face despite the chilly wind.


    Eshan''s finger grazed my cheek lightly as he tucked few tendrils behind my ear, his brown eyes never left mine. I sucked a sharp breathe as his fingers caressed my skin tenderly, our conversation long forgotten.


    Eshan leaned down, the beating of my heart increased with each passing second with anticipation of his further action. Just inches away from my face he stopped, his lips curved in that beautiful smile, the light coming from inside of the bedroom and soft moonlight emphasized his features exquisitely.


    His face lowered and he brushed his lips on my forehead just like earlier and yet the feelings that simple act evoked were just unexplainable. My eyes closed on their own accord.


    I thought he pulled away but seconds later I felt him pressing kiss on my close right eyelid and then on left. It felt all stress, tension was leaving my body and sense of contentment was taking over.


    His lips trailed upwards and his warm breath, left a trail of tingles. He stopped near my ear whispering, "Sleep my dear, it has been a long day, sleep."


    His gentle patting against my head lulled me into sleep as events of the day started fading away.

 Chapter 13 - Your wife loves you...

    |Innaya|


    White, fluffy blanket of clouds covered the whole sky illuminating the place with its comforting brightness and I found myself relaxing as I gazed outside of the plane''s window. As my mind wandered into past I am amazed at how fast the complete one-month went. Surprisingly, our relationship turned more comfortable.


    After that night when I suffered an almost panic attack and later we had talked, everything turned out much more relaxing. Was it because I shared my feelings or considering the fact that after waking up I found myself in his embrace with his arms around me in caring manner as if shielding me from my inner past demons, that night I slept without any nightmares. Later it became a routine for us, somehow making me forgot about those slipping pills.


    Eshan helped me with my studies as he had done his graduation and post graduation in the same field, business management. He had even woken early almost around four everyday for making me tea that I found very sweet gesture. My exams had gone very well credit to Eshan''s unwavering support. He took Mom, Granny and me on dinners and he even cooked two times for all of us at our home.


    "How could I miss the chance of charming three beautiful ladies with my culinary skills?" He had winked at granny while flashing his that alluring smile transfixing me while answering her about why he took efforts instead of ordering.


    "Excuse me Madam. Here is your blanket." My reverie broke as the air hostess spoke lowly, considering the sleeping figure beside me.


    "Thank you!" I whispered, glancing at the Eshan, sleeping with his head resting on my left shoulder.


    "Do you need anything else Madam?" She inquired softly with a smile that I felt was genuine, unlike the practiced one of earlier air hostess.


    "No, thank you!" I declined her, hoping she would leave and she did.


    An involuntary smile appeared across my face as I watched Eshan sleeping like a baby. Given credit to the exhausting last 1 month he had spent, he slept as soon as flight took off. He used to travel back and forth from Bangalore to Mumbai despite of my numerous attempts of convincing him that he did not need to.


    I had told him that it was fine, he could stay in Mumbai and I would stay at my maternal place until my exams. Being the stubborn person he was, he flatly refused and had laughingly dismissed further conversation on that topic. I had even asked Granny and Mom to put some senses in the thick head of my husband.


    I covered him with the blanket air hostess gave hoping to provide some comfort. I did so as properly as I could with one hand as Eshan occupied my other shoulder thus restricting my movements.


    Eshan stirred a little, I thought he was waking up or rather my actions broke his nap. I held my breath hoping he would go back to sleep, last night he was awake till late for packing our stuff and slept almost around near morning. I let out a breath I was holding as he went back to sleep.


    He twisted little in his place. Maybe, in search for more comfortable place. The way his warm breath fanned skin of my neck ignited something deep inside pit of my stomach. The way his right hand searched for mine even in sleep warmed my heart with his unspoken need for me in his life.


    I could not take my eyes off him. Not that I wanted to but the passengers sitting next to us could find it weird rather creepy, I was sure.


    It was not my fault but Eshan''s. Why he had to look that adorable while sleeping? His presence always brought a pleasant relaxation in me. ''I am not sure if he knows but he is capable of making smile anyone.''


    "Qu''est-ce que tu fais, Novio?"


    I frantically had my gaze averted from him as he opened his sleepy eyes, that did not look sleepy anymore and I was left a little embarrassed. He startled me enormously.


    "I thought you were sleeping." I remarked, looking back at him. "And, what''s with your language again? I just do not understand at all, what you say at times. Is it really that, you like these foreign languages or you just enjoy me being perplexed at your words? Tell me honestly which one is the case Mister?" I made sure that I whispered in a voice audible only to us and not to the people in front of us.


    "Mi querida esposa, I love seeing you amused. You are irresistible when you have this..." unwinding his hand that had kept my palm holding closer to him, he drew a circle in air with his index finger, "this ethereal smile that says to me time and again, that you are not from this world."


    I playfully smacked on his shoulder, giggling or I should say slightly blushing at his deliberate attempt of flirting with me.


    ''Has he always been like this?'' I wondered. I was just questioning myself when I had to halt it feeling his hand fondling with my hair, releasing them from the bun I had made letting their waist length fall free on my back.


    "What are you doing?" I shoved his hand away, quickly catching a glance of a middle-aged couple sitting in front.


    It seemed like my husband was intending to make me embarrass today. I glared at Eshan once but he smiled brightly in return, forcing me to drop the glare. How could anyone do that to him? He was too nice for that. ''Wait what? What on the earth I am even saying? Innaya, you have plainly lost it. Stop watching those romantic dramas.''


    "I like them open." He innocently shrugged, smiling softly at the woman who curiously looked at our way.


    I stared at him wide eyed, with open mouth.


    "Does this liking have anything to do with missing hair ties of mine?" I narrowed my eyes at him, remembering all the time when miraculously all stuff related to tying my hairs would disappear when needed.


    "I don''t know what are you talking about?" He replied keeping that innocent face intact that I realized was a facade.


    Before I could retaliate, my back and shoulder decided to interrupt me as a wave of pain shot through my shoulder travelling through my neck to spine and I groaned out loud, shutting my eyes as my hand went to rub my stiff shoulder. I did not realize sitting straight for more than an hour, so that Eshan could get some sleep, would result into muscle stiffness.


    "What happened?" Eshan''s concerned voice forced me to snap my eyes open as I took a moment to let the pain subside before answering to him.


    "What do you expect? Your wife loves you enough to sit like a statue for more than hour so that you can sleep. You are very lucky, brat." The elderly man across us commented before I could reply anything.


    ''What the? Love? Has he lost his mind?'' First, there was no need of intervening and top of that he held Eshan responsible for something he did not do intentionally.


    ''What is wrong with people?'' I glared at him little angrily before looking at Eshan''s reaction. We had surpassed the hesitant phase in our relationship and we were friends yet love? We were just getting comfortable and that old man had to ruin it by giving his opinion.


    Eshan''s head whipped in that man''s direction. As soon as his words registered in his mind, he turned back to me and I could see understanding dawning on him and regret started swirling in his eyes. He apologetically looked at my shoulder.


    "Flight attendants, prepare for landing please."


    "Cabin crew; please take your seats for landing."


    The captain''s voice rang through speakers cutting whatever Eshan had to say and soon an announcement by a flight attendant followed.


    "Here, let me." Eshan leaned to buckle the seat belt as I fumbled with it. I flinched when another wave of pain hit me. ''Who said pulled muscle doesn''t hurt?''


    "Sorry!"


    "Sorry!"


    We both said at the same time.


    "Thank you!"


    "Thank you!"


    Again, we both uttered at the same time.


    I smiled at the double coincidence and his lips too curved into smile.


    "I am fine. It''s just some muscle stiffness. After stretching a bit it will be okay. So don''t worry husband." I assured him playfully winking at him before adding, "Nothing that your magic tea can''t help."


    He smiled before shaking his head as if he found my answer amusing and just like that the awkward or serious situation turned to light one.


    *

 Chapter 14 - Haunting memory from past

    |Innaya|


    ''Come on, this is nothing. Why is he being this way?'' I desperately held my gaze at Eshan for a few seconds, when it became too much for me.


    He was driving since past fifteen minutes from the time we were out of the airport, heading back to his home and all this while, he had not uttered a word or the nicknames he kept for me.


    ''Yeah I know, I always said they were awkward for me but I cannot deny now... I have to accept, I have become habitual to them.'' If I could say with more clarity, I have developed likeability towards every nickname and the phrases in his, other languages.


    Even though they were nothing but foreign to me but they always sounded sweet, just like his nature. Now, it was more like if I did not hear them even for few hours, I would feel uneasy along with a hint of something missing.


    "Eshan, it is okay, really. Do not take it upon yourself, okay?" I attempted to get him speaking, something. I knew, he was blaming himself for my muscle stiffness. I thought, he would let it go soon but no, I was so wrong.


    He tilted his head slightly, enough to catch my glance and did a false attempt to smile.


    I sighed at that. "Stop the car, Eshan."


    "N''allez pas s''il vous plait." He did not stop the car but lowered the speed. "I am fine, don''t get down please."


    Oh so he thought, I was getting off the car, planning to do a walk after being tired like anything to our new home whose address I had no idea of.


    ''No way on the earth! I guess, he is a little too upset that made him think, I would jump out of the car. He gets so naive at times.'' I thought.


    " Eshan stop the car."


    My sudden stern voice made him halt the car immediately. I did not want to do that but we were moving ahead of it. He looked at me, with those eyes filled with certain sadness again.


    "Eshan - ice-cream, there," I pointed at the Ice-Cream vendor; putting some insight in my husband''s brain that why I was asking him to stop the car.


    ''My Husband?''


    ''Seriously?''


    I watched him deeply exhaling while closing his eyes as if relieved. I averted my eyes as the relax face of him created some flutters in my stomach.


    "I will bring one for you."


    "No, I am coming along." I insisted, stepping out of the car. If I was being frank, I had no mood for ice cream today. Already, my throat was feeling a little sore but I decided to ignore it.


    Eshan was low and all I could think was, how to cheer him up. He always has been thoughtful and searched ways to make me smile and now, I could not let him the way he was being.


    "Flavours?" The ice cream vendor asked and I had just opened my mouth to reply when Eshan''s voice cut my words even before they could come out.


    "One Butterscotch, please."


    ''Okay, now this is serious. He knows about my favourite ice cream flavour too?'' I looked at him with amusement and got him smiling a little and then I knew, he knew, what the amusement in my eyes was for. I wonder how much Granny had told him as in this one month of my marriage he often surprised with how much he knew about me.


    "Make that two." I quickly shifted my gaze to the vendor only to receive Eshan''s denial post it.


    "I won''t eat, Innaya."


    "You can ignore him, royally. He does that to people, too. Get us two." I had that tiny sarcasm in my tone. I never behaved this way with anyone other than my family or people I was close to perhaps he earned his place in my life to have me this talkative around him.


    Vendor smiled at me and handed me our cups while Eshan paid him. Eshan took his cup from me and we both started walking towards our car parked at the side of road.


    I dipped my spoon and scooped out spoonful of ice-cream.


    "Mmm... yum," I moaned in bliss as I took first bite. The sweet, chocolaty, and cold taste had me close my eyes in a pure satisfaction.


    "Careful!" Eshan held me by snaking his hand around my waist and pulling me towards him. My eyes opened with a jerk. Startled I look at him for an explanation. With his eyes, he pointed forward.


    I gasped as I realized as was about to step on dog''s tail. Eshan''s hand slid down across my stomach and he carefully tugged me aside. Then like a slow motion, it happened.


    As our closeness registered in my mind along with sudden panic moments before, the cup in my hand fell. It did not touch the ground. Instead it had to fell on that sleeping dog abruptly waking him up as the freezing cold ice-cream sprawled across his body. I involuntarily stepped more into Eshan as the dog turned towards us, ready to attack.


    ***


    "You don''t know how to behave? This shall teach you a lesson." The sickening voice of that woman thundered above the loud bark of Golden Retriever dog she held leash of in her hand.


    "No, please. No." Nine and half year old frightened me pleaded as tears streamed down my face.


    It did nothing to her stone heart as I watch her hold on leash slackening. Her ''rocky'' as she called him, scooted forward on his paws while barking and sniffing the air. I crawled backwards from my already fallen figure on the ground. The cruel smirk on her face turned to the sadistic laughter.


    "Sorry, sorry. I''ll behave. No. No," I chanted continuously.


    ***


    I felt blood rushing faster through my veins, adrenaline shooting in whole body as my heartbeat raced up to the point I could hear the pounding in my ears. My vision blurred as the memory of that incident clogged my senses. I wanted to crawl back from that haunting memory but it felt as if my senses were numb, I couldn''t move.


    "Shhh... relax. Breathe in. Sweetheart, listen to me. Breathe in for me."


    I found myself concentrating on the voice that softly whispered in my ear as the arms wrapped around me tightly and I felt the steady heartbeat beneath my palm.


    "Breathe in."


    "Hold it inside."


    "Let go."


    "Breathe in."


    "Hold it inside."


    "Let go."


    I followed the instructions the voice steadily commanded in my ear while holding me close. I unconsciously gripped the soft material under my palms while my eyes squeezed shut on their own.


    "Sleep, sweetheart. Sleep. Ti ho amato. Dormire." As my brain registered endearment and the foreign language, the certain someone uses, I sighed in relief, "Eshan."


    I faintly remember watching Eshan''s face before the exhaustion won and sleep took over.


    *

 Chapter 15 - Sleeping beauty and angry best friends

    |Eshan|


    I let my fingers continue running through Innaya''s hair, on her face just to assure myself it was over, she was fine. One moment I was holding her on the road, preventing her from stepping on that dog''s tail and in next moment, I had felt her going stiff in my arms as that dog stared at us in anger and bewilderment.


    That dog did not attack as I thought he would. Instead he lapped at the fallen ice-cream on the ground.


    I had brought her to the car that was just a step away and sat in the backseat holding her. I had felt her body turning cold as I watched her eyes glossing repeatedly and felt her heartbeat racing as I hugged her to myself, rubbing her back. The very same condition I witnessed on the second day of our marriage.


    I knew I did not want her to fall unconscious and that was why, I whispered words of comfort, encouragement in her ear. I had felt her struggle to breath steadily against my neck so, I pulled back a little.


    Holding her face in my palms, I instructed her breathing exercise I had learnt from my Gym instructor. Her small fists had gripped my white shirt, crumpling it in the process as she did as told.


    Eventually, her breathing had returned to normal, lifting the rock that had settled on my heart watching her so vulnerable and that had me sighing in a relief. I had patted her back until she had fallen asleep in my arms, her eyes had fluttered momentarily and I saw something similar to satisfaction of some kind float in those chocolaty eyes before she close them.


    After assuring myself for around more than half an hour holding her sleeping figure closer, I adjusted her on backseat in laying position so that she wouldn''t wake up while I drove.


    Making sure, she was comfortable as much as she could in the confined space of backseat, I willed myself to drive towards our home. As much as I wanted to be near her, I would like her to be at confines of our home rather than outside in scorching heat in the car.


    I manoeuvred the steering wheel through the familiar lanes of roads leading to our home, being careful enough not to disrupt her. Calling it, my home no longer felt right, my eyes went to the reason behind it that was sleeping peacefully in the backseat.


    *


    I opened the door of the car where Innaya''s head was resting and picked her up, being attentive enough not to wake her from her slumber. She twitched a little in my arms, nestling her head in my neck before she settled.


    I started climbing the white marble steps of our mansion and my hold tightened around her as her steady breath fanned my neck while her nose rubbed the skin there. I reached the top of four stairs and before I could dwell on how to ring the bell, I found the front door wide opened. Must be Amma, the caretaker, had kept it open waiting for us as I had informed her last night.


    "Whoa... Look guys Eshan Singhania carrying a girl in his arms." Barun was first to notice.


    "Somebody please pinch me." Arjun had to be his dramatic self.


    "Shut up, Arjun." Ayush, my best friend spoke for me.


    "Here we thought you will be apologetic for not coming with us and¡ª you are doing this." Sameer grunted.


    "Very beautiful reason for your consistent absence, I must say. But from when you started sleeping around, bro?" Arjun had to open his big mouth.


    "Shut up," I whispered yelled at my idiotic friends who apparently had to assume worst of the situation and jump onto the conclusion.


    I glared angrily at them not for remarking the stupid comments but for daring to disturb her. I glanced at my wife in my arms that thankfully just squirmed a little and snuggled more into me but slept. ''She is a heavy sleeper when she wants to.'' I smiled to myself at that thought but instantly the incident before came to my mind and that smile turned into the frown. Ignoring my friends who had baffled look on their faces except Ayush, I started towards our bedroom at the second floor.


    "Hey buddy, what happened?" Ayush was beside me while I continued to walk, he added after taking a look at her, "Is she alright?"


    I entered our bedroom that I had redecorated in cream and purple colour theme according to her taste. I placed her on the bed before pulling the covers over her till her chin and adjusted her head on the pillow.


    "Do I call a doctor?" Ayush again inquired breaking my trance.


    "No. She is just sleeping," I answered, while searching for remote of air conditioner on the bedside table. I set the temperature after I found it.


    "Sleeping?" Barun questioned. I turned around and found they all had followed us in our room.


    "She is tired," I half-lied to them while rubbing my neck tiredly.


    "Tired," Sameer mumbled to himself while I found his lips curving in the teasing smirk.


    "Hmm, seems like you drained her," Barun commented before winking at me.


    I glared at him before I heard him adding, "Poor girl."


    "By the way where did you find her? I must admit she is ho¡ª,"


    I pinned Arjun Arya to the wall beside the door before he could complete his sentence. I had not forgotten his earlier comment of me sleeping around. His blue eyes widened slightly at my fury.


    "Dare you utter a word, she is my wife you¡ª" I gritted out each word before pressing at his neck with my elbow.


    "Calm down buddy. He was just jesting." Barun who was standing near us pulled me away from Arjun.


    "Jesting? You think it is funny. Sorry to burst your bubble Barun but it''s not funny," I spat the words in frustration before I shrugged his hands that were holding me.


    "Eshan, what happened. Why are you getting cranky?" Sameer questioned.


    "Guys, give us a minute," Ayush intervened before I could speak anymore and punch someone taking out my anger. Ayush always was mature one amongst us and knew me better than anyone.


    Sameer and Barun nodded at him and dragged Arjun with them who was rubbing the area of his throat that had turned red. I felt slightly guilty for that but in my defence, he provoked me first.


    "Eshan," Ayush tugged at my arm pulling me out of the bedroom.


    "What are you doing Ayush? Leave me," I hissed at him trying to wriggle out of his grasp but his hold at my left elbow didn''t waver. I glanced at Innaya, I wanted to be near her, and this stupid was dragging me away from her.


    "I will, now shut up and follow me," he sternly replied and dragged me away towards the area little away from my room.

 Chapter 16 - Take it slow buddy!

    |Eshan|


    Ayush dragged me to the east side of my house. It was our favourite place where the wall facing the garden at the backside was made of transparent glass from floor to ceiling.


    Every summer we five friends would plant, the new plants and would take care of them later onwards. It was our stress buster. As I looked down and watched the seeds we had planted that had turned into full-fledged trees, I couldn''t help but feel more guilty for behaving the way I did with my friends.


    "Now, speak," Ayush softly said, pulling me out of my guilt trip.


    "What?" I avoided his eyes, keeping mine on the rose plants. After a moment of silence I added, "There is nothing to speak."


    "I have known you for long enough to understand the unspoken words behind your silence. Now either you continue or-"


    My eyes snapped at his words. The frustration of hiding things, the earlier incident with Innaya, my brawl with Arjun and then my rude behaviour with my friends took a toll and I felt it turning into the anger. The person standing beside me with folded hands on his chest and blank face appeared the most appealing option to take it out upon.


    "Or what, huh? Your empty threats won''t work on me," I rudely snapped at Ayush who wanted nothing more than to help me.


    "Ok."


    ''Did he just say ok? The Ayush Rathod had just let it slide. No, that''s not possible. I know him to well to believe it to be true. That is not at all possible.''


    "What okay? Where are you going?" I asked when he started walking and had taken few steps away from me.


    Ayush stopped at his place but did not turn.


    "To get my answers," he simply replied.


    ''Okay! That''s confusing.''


    "And where might they?" I waited for him to explain. However, I was mentally strangling him.


    "To your bedroom, I am going to wake Innaya up and -"


    ''That cunning monkey, how dare he?'' If only I could swear then he would have been in need of the holy water to wash himself out and even that wouldn''t have been enough.


    "You will do no such thing," I heatedly warned him before marching in front of him.


    "You know better than argue."


    He was right. No one could win against him and I certainly did not stand a chance, I never had.


    "Fine," I muttered before turning away from him and taking my previous place near the glass wall.


    "I don''t know what''s happening Ayush. One moment she is all happy, playful, and talkative and next moment something happens, triggering her and I see her on the verge of panic attack. I am unable to comprehend why?" I confessed tiredly as the magnitude of her actions, her behaviour was too much to ignore. It was more complicated than any puzzle available.


    "Have you tried asking her?" He asked the basic question anyone would in this situation.


    When I remained silent, he added, "Ok. I know it is between both of you but do you realize, you getting agitated or frustrated is not going to help? Give her some time, she will come around."


    "I know that and I am ready to give her all the time. It is that every time I see that fear in her eyes¡ª it breaks my heart." I met his eyes as I answered with all my honesty.


    "I understand champ, but you know how it works. The more you push, more it retracts, so just take it slow. I know, I don''t have to tell you all this." Ayush placed hand on my shoulder comforting me.


    I hummed in response. I knew what he said was true and I was taking it slow.


    We remained in silence for a while. Talking with him always had me at ease, no matter how distorted or disturbed I might be. He was my best friend in the end.


    "How all of you are at my place?" I asked as I rubbed my face with my palms.


    "Guys were worried about you. I tried telling them you are fine but those stubborn heads! They wanted to make sure by themselves." He smirked that soon replaced into a thin line as he added, "Moreover, because of my promise I never told them about your marriage."


    ''God! That is going to be very bad. Not informing them about the marriage is going to be a big issue. I just hope I don''t get black eye along with few broken ribs and swollen face.'' I prayed in my head.


    "You know what you have to do." Ayush patted my back as he hinted to my earlier behaviour with them.


    I nodded in understanding.


    "Better?" he asked as we crossed my bedroom on our way back to living room where other three were waiting.


    *


    "I am sorry Eshan. I never knew we don''t hold any value in your life. Today you made us realize that you did not even bother telling us about marriage least calling us." Sameer was the first to speak when he spotted sight of me.


    He was already pacing in hallway before Ayush and I came while racking his hands through his hair, messing them.


    He was highly pissed.


    "Thank you, we are leaving and wouldn''t bother you anymore," Barun piped in before standing up from the couch where he was seating beside Arjun who strangely had been quite.


    "I am sorry." I apologised to all of them.


    Silence was all I got in response while they glared at me with disapproval.


    "Please, listen to me once. I did not tell you as it all happened in a hurry and at that time, you all were stuck in our project. You think I wanted to hide it?" I rushed out the actual reason before they decided to pounce upon me.


    If not for London project, I would have happily shared this big news with them.


    "Ayush knew, didn''t he?" Arjun spoke quietly for the first time after out little fight upstairs.


    "Look guys, can we behave like adults?" Ayush stepped in between, trying to resolve the issue.


    "No because we aren''t. Only you both are the mature ones here who knows how to keep secret. We all are immature kids and we are happy that way. Atleast we do not hide things from our friends."


    "Quiet it Barun. He has his reasons okay." Ayush raised his voice a little.


    "Everyone does have, Ayush," Sameer snapped.


    "So instead of cribbing can you get past over it," Ayush asked.


    "Instead of asking him or us to get past over it, why don''t you give us the reason to?" Barun demanded.


    "Fine, have a seat everyone, I will freshen up and be back." I interjected before it could turn into something bad.


    "Can''t stay away from his wife," Barun chuckled.


    "He is whipped," Sameer added.


    "Can you blame him, she is ho- I meant to say beautiful," Arjun started saying and changed the sentence as I guess after he remembered what happened earlier.


    "I heard that," I yelled before I took long strides to reach as early as I could to my wife.


    *

 Chapter 17 - Cynophobia

    |Eshan|


    How was I going to explain things to my dear friends who were stuck on the only thing, that I did not tell them anything regarding my wife? Sure, they would understand but they wanted to know everything right at the moment.


    I bought some time by walking away, but for how long? What if Innaya woke up by then and accompanied me? They wouldn''t behave badly with her because of it, would they? Many questions swirled in my head. I reached the bedroom door I had managed to close on my way while Ayush was dragging me. Everything could take a backseat for a while. Currently, the woman behind the door was my priority. Letting out a sigh, I twisted the knob opening the door.


    "Are you alright?" I asked, speeding up my steps towards the bed where Innaya was trying to get up. Supporting my hands around her shoulders, I made her sit comfortably, placing cushions behind her back.


    "Hmm," she almost whispered.


    I could see, she was emotionally so disturbed that it had snatched that infectious and genuine aura she always managed to create around herself.


    Despite knowing, my friends were sitting right in the hall and could waltz anytime if wanted, I couldn''t resist leaning forward and pressing my lips to her forehead.


    "How long is this going to continue this way?" Pulling myself a little back I whispered, I still was close to her that I could smell faint smell of her moisturizer. "Every time, you are in this condition... I can''t¡ª" It was truth and though I did not want to confront her, I couldn''t help when those words left my mouth. I had decided to give her the space she wanted and yet again, I messed up.


    I guess, she caught it instantly from my slightly shaky voice that I wouldn''t be able to say much when I felt her hand slowly lifting to my cheek.


    "I know, you are concerned but I am fine, really."


    ''Lied! She has once again lied.'' I understand she didn''t want to trouble me but she did not understand this was a punishment to see her suffering and not being able to do anything. I wanted to help her to get off the things that were troubling her. From last one month, I had noticed the certain void and aloofness blanketing her sometimes. She always had tried to hide it, but how could I overlook her sudden withdrawal?


    "You still don''t trust me enough?" I found myself whispering but the way her eyes snapped towards mine, I knew she heard me. I did not mean to say that aloud but the way her eyes narrowed, I knew it was too late.


    "Some things are best to not talk about, Eshan. You accepted me as I am. Now, you want to know my past. Has things changed between us? I do not need you to ask me about what has happened, I need you to tell me it doesn''t matter. My past does not matter."


    I was taken aback by hearing what way she had taken everything. The hurt in her voice, the accusatory tone had me flinching.


    "I don''t care about your past. I would never have asked you a word if it has not affected you the way it is, Innaya." I looked at her only to see the outer wall she had created around herself breaking, probably. Her eyes started shining with a thin layer of tears in them. As much as I wanted her to open up so that I could help, I just feared now¡ª had I pushed her a lot?


    *


    Can you not let it out to me?


    It is getting difficult for me your this condition to see,


    I know, you are still not able to trust me enough,


    I know, your life has been rough,


    Rough enough to force you to build these walls around you,


    Putting deep fears in your heart, making everything tough,


    I just hope someday,


    Someday, I will earn your enough trust,


    Allowing your heart to share your insecurities with me,


    And I promise, ''that'' someday,


    I will absorb your every pain,


    Setting your soul free from every trouble!


    *


    "You want to talk about it? You''ll feel better if you let it out. I will help you in letting it go," I asked with a caution. I did not want to push her more than I already have.


    "It''s not easy," she wiped her cheeks where the tears had fallen. Her nose had turned red and she shifted her eyes away from my face while I could not decipher the exact emotion in her eyes when they had met with mine for a brief moment.


    "I know, it isn''t," I said before I could stop myself.


    "Don''t interrupt me in middle. I won''t be able to continue," she glared at me before sternly ordering me.


    It was hard to believe that she was about to reveal what was bothering her. I could see her eyes swirling with myriads of emotions as she played with her fingers, she did that when she was nervous''.


    "I have Cynophobia," she admitted in low voice, her eyes rapidly blinking in an attempt of not crying.


    "Cynophobia?"


    I have never heard that term. I sat in front of her beside her legs while she wiped the single tear that had fallen.


    "Yes cynophobia, fear of dogs. In my childhood, golden retriever dog had attacked me. Today when that dog -" she choked on her words as she fisted her palms in an attempt to not break down.


    "Hey, I am sorry. It''s all right sweetheart. You are fine," I immediately held her hands gently opening her fists and rubbing the skin. I so wanted to take her in my arms, but the stupidity of pushing her I did earlier held me back. I sat there, mindlessly rubbing her palms with my thumb and I guessed that gesture helped her, as she seemed to relax.


    "Why don''t you freshen up? Then we all can have dinner," I suggested after the comfortable silence.


    "Dinner? What time is it and what do you mean by all? Is there anyone else apart from us?" The baffled look on her face was so adorable that I found myself smiling at it.


    "It''s quarter past eight, Tesoro," I replied, chuckling as I added, "As much as I want us to be alone, yet I am sorry to say we are not. My friends are waiting downstairs for us."


    "Oh!" There comes the pout. Did she realize how insanely adorable she looks with it?


    "I am sorry for troubling you," she spoke breaking my train of haywire thoughts.


    "La mia piccolo farfalla. You can never trouble me," I stated with the seriousness and that was one hundred percent true. She could never trouble me. I stood up from the bed, reluctantly removing her palms from my hold.


    "Now go, we will continue this later," I added before I walked towards the wooden closet at the other end. She hummed in response before looking around the room. I could see the surprise as well as the appreciation in her eyes for the interior. That made me happy, knowing the efforts I took paid off by the beautiful smile that graced her lips.


    "Innaya," I called her out after I found what I was looking in the closet. She was about to open the door of washroom when she turned towards me questioningly.


    "Here," I handed her the cream and red color cotton suit with the simple embroidery work on it.


    "This dress will look beautiful if you wear it," I tried being confident while stating, yet my voice betrayed me. Last Saturday this dress had captured my attention when I had gone to the mall and the wish to see her in it was too strong to ignore. I ended up buying half a dozen dresses for her from that shop but that knowledge was for some other time.


    "Why thank you," surprised she took it from me before smiling at me. I stood there staring at the spot she was standing before disappearing into the washroom. Ruffling my hair, I took out my clothes and went to the other room for using the shower.


    *

 Chapter 18 - Meeting my friends

    "Just a little warning, my friends are weird, no offense but they are currently mad at me." I warned Innaya as we walked downstairs where all of my friends were waiting. We did not realize that we had taken almost an hour to get down. I just hoped they weren''t mad.


    "Mad at you? Why?" Innaya tilted her head and looked at me with that cute adorable face.


    "Because I didn''t inform them about our wedding. I know they won''t disrespect you or anything but it doesn''t hurt to be little careful." I smiled.


    "Hmm," Innaya hummed but I could see that her forehead had apprehended in worry line.


    "Don''t worry. I am there," I assured her as we descended the last flight of steps.


    My whole attention was in making her comfortable that I did not see when out of blue, the fist was aimed at me and I staggered back with its impact when it collided with my jaw.


    "What the-" the pained whisper left my lips as my hand went to the now stinging place. I steadied myself with the help of railings before I could fall.


    Innaya''s left hand grabbed the hand that had shot towards me, trapping that hand on her shoulder she twisted her body outside while bringing her right hand on the elbow of trapped hand simultaneously kicking the knee from the back of that person making him fall on the floor, wincing in pain.


    Innaya instantly turned towards me while taking my face in her hold, checking me for any injuries.


    "Oh God, you are bleeding."


    She did not realize pressing her thumb at the corner of my lips to stop the blood, had brought her very close to me. So close that I could feel her breath on my chin, as she had to stand on her toes given credit to her height of 5''2". Her chocolate brown eyes full of worry and concern, focussed on the little wound, had stirred something deep within my heart. Not to mention her long black hair that she had left untied waving freely in between us, carrying the sweet fruity smell of strawberry shampoo she had used earlier.


    The slightly damped tendrils stuck to sides of the face and my hands itched to move them away. As if in a trance, my hand rose up to her face, moving away, those locks that were blocking beautiful view.


    A throat clearing and the groan of pain brought me back to present, and I turned my attention to the source of both. I mentally face-palmed myself for forgetting that we weren''t alone, we had a company.


    There stood my four friends, having that idiotic grin and smirk on their faces. Seemed like, Innaya too realized that we had an audience, as she straightened her back and stood beside me taking away her hand from my face. I watched in a fascination, as for how her face turned red in embarrassment, after being caught in the intimate moment.


    Wrapping my hand around her shoulder, I pulled her closer to me. My first instinct was to tell them off but then against my better judgment, I stayed holding her.


    Sameer was helping the kneeling person who had punched me in the first place. I could see Innaya narrowing her eyes at him while her face was set in distaste.


    ''Sahil Anand! God! Can this day get any worse?''


    "Excuse me? Why would you attack him? Eshan, call the security." My adorable wife ordered while glaring at the reason for her anger.


    I felt the happiness bubbling in my chest as I noticed how concerned she was for me. She fought for me, single-handedly taking down my friend she had thought was threat to me. I did not know she could fight.'' One more side of my wife that I will have to know better.''


    The loud laughter of my friends filled the living room. Innaya''s head snapped towards their direction fleetingly before she looked at me questioningly.


    "She is something man," Sahil stated while rubbing his elbow where she had applied the force.


    "Serves you right." I grinned at him. Well, he deserved it, for punching me.


    "Can you please stop all this? I want to meet my sister-in-law officially," Barun intervened as he walked towards us before he stopped in front of Innaya.


    "Hello sister-in-law, I am Barun Khandelwal, your secretive husband''s friend." He freaking scowled at me before ignoring me and smiling at her.


    "Hello," Innaya greeted him while she unconsciously stepped closer to me.


    Barun then introduced her with Sameer, Arjun, and Ayush and she greeted all of them back with the smile. When Sahil stepped forward for talking with her, her frown was back on her face.


    Sahil apologised to her for his behaviour firstly and later told her that I deserved that punch and it was common in-between us. Innaya just nodded her head without saying anything. I could feel that she was still angry with Sahil.


    We all sat down in the living room as all of the guys apart from Ayush, gave me ''your-time-is-over-now-spill'' look.


    "Care to explain," Sahil shot me an angry glare as he sat directly in front of us.


    "non mi permettero di essere in pace (won''t let me be in peace)," I muttered to myself as Innaya stared at Sahil and me.


    "abbastanza da scappare (enough of running away)," Arjun replied to me and that grabbed Innaya''s attention.


    "Come se me lo permettessi (as if you will let me)," I mocked, even though when I knew they wouldn''t.


    "Uh... can you please continue in the understandable language?" Innaya interrupted our heating argument feeling left out. I did not realize that the complete foreign conversation was unsettling for her when some random guy had hit her husband and his friends were glaring at him.


    "Oh my! Sister-in-law, aren''t you aware of the languages dear to your husband?" Arjun amusedly smirked at her. That monkey, he had the nerve to smirk at my expense.


    "They aren''t dear to me. This idiot here is the reason I learned Italian as Aunty as in his mother is Italian and for French, Ayush is born and brought up in France as Uncle''s business was there. Because of these two, I am well familiar with the languages," I told Innaya the reason behind learning the languages.


    "You never told me about them." She referred to the fact that I never talked about my friends.


    "Hi-Fi! Same here, he did not tell us too, about you," Sameer sarcastically commented last part looking at me.


    I sighed knowing they wouldn''t leave it until I tell them everything. "You remember on 22 of March, Mom called me to Delhi urgently and you all had to leave for London regarding the project of Mr. Hunt."


    I continued once I saw recognition flashing in their eyes as they nodded, "Well, then Mom informed me regarding her talk with priest regarding my marriage date. We left for Bangalore to fix things in hurry. I thought we had time and the trip was for deciding things but then everything happened in a rush. When we reached there on 23rd of March as per priest, we got engaged on the same day and two weeks later got married. I so wanted to inform all of you but I knew the importance of the project."


    "So you decided to hide the facts?" Barun was first to react.


    I was about to answer him when Innaya softly asked, "Can I say something?" Once they nodded at her, glancing at me, she continued, "You know Eshan more than me, so I am not taking anyone''s side here. As much as you all were not informed, if it helps, I too got to know about everything just before an hour. While he knew, he had to get married to me, until my engagement day I was not aware of any Eshan Sighaniya''s existence."


    "What the-" shocked at her words I stared at her with my jaw almost dropping to the ground.


    "Che diavolo (what the hell)."


    "que se pass¨¦-t-il (what the hell)."


    "Unbelievable."


    Apparently, I was not the only one to get shocked at her as simultaneously all of them gaped at her words, surprised. Innaya just shrugged her shoulders in response.


    The soft footsteps approaching towards us broke the stunned silence and I saw Amma making her way towards us.


    Amma was in her mid-fifties with the little wrinkles on her little dark face. Her brown eyes that had seen many shades of life were full of love and she was kind-hearted soul. I had found her five years ago when her son had left her on streets of Mumbai taking her money after the demise of her husband. I had convinced her to come with me and that was one of the best decisions, I took in my life as I had found another mother in the form of her. "Amma. Thank God! Here you are." I stood up before engulfing Amma in a hug.


    "Where were you? Don''t you want to meet my bride?" I asked as I pulled away from her. She smilingly shook her head at my complaining tone.


    "Innaya, meet Amma. She is like my second mother. She takes care of everything, including me and these monkeys," I introduced both important women in my life to each other.


    "Beautiful. May god keep you away from evil eyes." Amma smiled at Innaya while Innaya blushed at the compliment. "Now onwards she will be taking care of you, right Madam?" I frowned when Amma called her Madam and I was about to correct her when Innaya beat me into it. "Innaya, Amma. I hope you don''t mind me calling you Amma?"


    Innaya touched Amma''s feet silently asking me to do the same with her eyes.


    "God bless you both!" Amma wished caressing her hand on both of our heads.


    "I am famished Amma. Can you please set the table for us?" I declared as my stomach growled in hunger thankfully no one noticed.


    "Yeah sure, just give me 5 minutes," Amma answered as she walked away towards the kitchen for arranging our dinner.


    "Ok, let''s go guys." I turned to others hoping they would follow and they weren''t mad at me anymore as I cleared the matter.


    "Wait." Arjun stopped me.


    "Now what?" I angrily turned towards him while Innaya too stopped beside me.


    "Sister-in-law, this is for you, your wedding gift." He came forward while handing the bags.


    "This is from me," Sammer said giving her the box wrapped in gift paper.


    "This one too," Barun butted in with four bags in his hand.


    "Sister-in-law, don''t forget mine," Sahil smiled as he held more bags than others did.


    "There was no need for this." Overwhelmed Innaya looked towards me for help while struggling to manage all the gifts and not knowing how to reply them.


    "Thank you!" She thanked them all while I took bags from her and kept on the sofa beside me.


    "Where''s my gift?" I questioned once I kept everything away and realized they gave me nothing.


    "It''s your punishment. We brought gifts for our pretty sister-in-law only." They all answered in unison before walking away to the dining table.


    I shook my head in disbelief. Wrapping my hand around my amused wife''s back, I reciprocated her smile while I lead her towards the way other went.


    *

 Chapter 19 - A letter to grandpa

    |Innaya|


    Dear Grandpa,


    I miss you. I am not able to share this with anyone. You know how Mom and Granny are. They will unnecessarily worry and it will hurt them to know that I am still stuck in my past. I can''t share this with Siya either. She is my best friend but she has no idea how twisted my life has been.


    lI feel everyone will run away or turn out like those monsters of my past if they get any idea about my past. I have had enough of people judging me, sympathising with me, pitying me as if they had that right. I do not want any of that. I don''t want to get reminded of that black time of my life, yet somehow, even the smallest thing like injection, street dog, has me transport back in that time and I find myself trapped in those haunting memories.


    You know my past, my PTSD, is going to create problems in my married life. That was the major reason I did not want to get married to anyone. You were aware, weren''t you? Then why Grandpa, why you chose him? I feel like I am spoiling his life. I had two episodes in this month. On the second day of marriage, I had the first and now today too.


    Nightmares were not the new thing for me, as I had them occasionally and more frequently after you left, but these flashbacks, these episodes weren''t there, after the treatment I had undergone. However, they are coming back now and it frightens me, Grandpa, I do not know how to handle them. I don''t know how to deal with it. I do not know how to deal with it, without you beside me, without you telling me it will be over.


    Grandpa, I am afraid, I don''t want to hurt him. However, I feel like I have done the same even though it''s unknowingly and unintentionally. Until now, he has been nothing but the understanding and caring husband anyone could ever get. Everyone has his or her limits. How long, he will tolerate me keeping secrets from him? Hell, I could not tolerate it, then how can I expect from him? He is giving me space, he is being the silent support, and unknowingly he is helping me when I suffer those dreadful moments.


    I want to tell him everything, yet my heart always stops me. If you have chosen him for me, then he must be special. I know, you would never allow anyone to hurt me after what had happened. Somehow, I had found a friend in him. A friend, who understands me without telling him anything about myself.


    I know what I am writing is not making any sense. I am complaining about him as well as complimenting him. Nothing is making sense to me too. I want to stay far away from him and at the same time, I just want him to hold me closer. I want to run away from him, at the same time I want to run into his embrace that reminds me that I am safe. It''s all confusing, I feel I am getting lost in the maze, where there is no way out. I need you.


    I do not know how much Granny has told Eshan, about my past. I do not know if she has said anything or not. I want to talk to him about it. His fallen face when I withdraw myself, his concerned eyes when I am locked in my episodes, worries me very much. It pains me, whenever I find him blaming himself for something that is not his fault. Even slightest discomfort to me because of him and he gets all worked up, avoiding me. Well, I do that too, but I do not like to see him that way. What shall I do Grandpa? What is happening to me?


    It breaks my soul even to think of my past,


    It shakes my existence, leaving me aghast.


    I wish time could erase invisible scars on my heart,


    Which has become my integral part?


    I did not believe in love.


    I still do not, I feel,


    However, the way he looks at me,


    Seems like, this is a dawn, after the dark night.


    *


    Tears prickled in my eyes once again, after reading the feelings, I had penned down on the letter addressed to my late grandpa, which I could not share with anyone. Lighting the matchstick, I put the paper on fire from the corner. As the fire consumed letter bit by bit, I felt the heavy burden on my soul lessening.


    The yellow-orange flame died down while the only remnants of my feelings were left in the form of ashes, inside the trash bin kept outside, in the balcony where I had been from past one hour.


    Eshan''s friends had left immediately after dinner, promising to meet me soon but not before giving Eshan earful for not telling them about our marriage. Eshan had an important video conference to attend, regarding some deal with clients of his company and he was in his study, leaving me all alone with my depressing thoughts.


    Somehow, the day''s event had shaken me and I knew, him too. With the time we had been sharing, I knew he was not the person to lose his patience or his demeanor. Yet he lost it today. I had felt his anger, I had sensed his frustration, and the main point was, it was not directed towards me. He was frustrated at the fact that he was not able to help me.


    I had remembered the exercise Grandpa, had made me do in the past. He had asked me to write the problems or feelings I could not share with anyone, on the paper and later to put that paper on fire.


    "Let that fire burn away all your tension and let that smoke carry them away from you. It is not about the paper that you are burning, it is the emotion that you are letting out in the forms of words, you are freeing himself from that burden," were his words, when I had asked the reason behind it.


    Unable to suppress the turmoil, and handle my emotions that were all over the place, I had let my emotions guide me through it, while I just gave them a form of words.


    I was so lost in my thoughts, that I did not apprehend Eshan entering into the balcony. When his arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer, I realized how cold I was, as the sudden chilly wind had me shivering the little bit and snuggling into the warmth of his body.


    Turning us around he escorted us into the bedroom saying, "You will catch cold, sweetheart."


    Leading me towards the bed, he walked back towards balcony door after I sat down while adjusting the room temperature with the AC remote, he had picked on his way from the side table and promptly closed the door.


    My heart soaring in delight at his hassle, over such a trivial matter and I felt my lips curving up into a silly smile. I shook my head to clear the fuzzy feeling rising in my stomach as the dim light gave him the alluring look. His hair was still well kept and his face looked fresh despite it being midnight. I guessed his conference was to blame for it.


    "What were you doing outside at this time?" His question brought me out from checking him out silently. I turned my face slightly to avoid looking at him. I lied down at my side of the bed before answering him anything when his teasing reply rendered me speechless for a while, "Couldn''t sleep without me?"


    "I slept whole afternoon and evening," I replied, ignoring the way he sauntered into the room while removing the blazer, he had worn.


    "Still sweetheart, standing outside at this time without any warm clothes can make you ill." He disappeared into the washroom, taking out the clothes for changing while winking at me on his way. I rolled my eyes and picked out my mobile from the side table unlocking the screen. I logged into my Webnovel account, checking for any new updates as he took his time in the washroom.


    *

 Chapter 20 - Are you comfortable with this intimacy of ours?

    I removed my reading glasses after I had commented on the recent update of the story, I was reading. I kept them on the side table along with my mobile as I saw Eshan coming out in his white and black nightwear. I pulled the covers till my chin as I adjusted my head on the pillow beneath it.


    l"I did not know you were a fighter. Tell me about it." Eshan propped himself on his elbow before he turned towards me, after making himself comfortable on the bed beside me.


    "I have a black belt in karate. Grandpa had enrolled me in self-defense classes when I was 14," I answered closing my eyes. Grandpa had enrolled me because he thought that I needed a distraction, I needed a medium to let out all the bottled up emotions and it did provide me one.


    "Oh, that''s great!" Eshan mumbled. I couldn''t see what kind of expressions he had but I could detect the faint trace of smile and pride from his voice.


    I then remembered about piles of shopping bags in the living room. "Your friends said that they were unaware about our marriage," I asked.


    "They were. What about it?"


    "Then what about those gifts?" It truly had puzzled me. I wanted to ask this earlier but given that we weren''t alone I had refrained from asking.


    "Oh, that! Those troublemakers got two hours gap in between knowing about you and actually meeting you in person. Knowing them, they wouldn''t want to meet you empty handed and Sahil was still not here so I guess he became the delivery guy." Eshan laughed freely and I couldn''t help but feel the love he had for his friends.


    With that topic and Sahil''s name, I recalled that Sahil had punched him and my eyes opened with a jerk as my mind went to the visual of his bleeding lip. I turned towards him and in the dim light tried to make out the injury on his face. As if in a trance, my right hand went to his face, cupping it, while my thumb gently rubbed the corner of his lips. "Is it still paining?" I asked as I felt him leaning into my touch.


    "No, you took care of it," Eshan whispered gazing into my eyes. He turned his face a little and placed a soft kiss on my palm.


    That small action brought me back to reality and I hurriedly took my hand back, while I felt the heat rising in my face as the pink blush slowly started intensifying. I took deep breaths, at the same time tried to be discrete about it, as my palm across my stomach above the covers curled into the fist.


    "Innaya," Eshan softly called my name and that was enough to increase my heart rate. I failed to understand why though. He wrapped his palm around my clenched fist, silently urging me to open up. He intertwined his fingers with mine.


    I hummed in the response, as I tried to ignore the butterfly sensation in the pit of my stomach, due to our close proximity.


    "Well, I am sorry for the earlier behaviour. I know it was uncalled... I was worried," he admitted in the low tone. I had understood from his behaviour that he was feeling sorry.


    "Eshan, I am sorry too. You know, there are many things we are not aware of about each other... We just need time," I half apologized and half confessed.


    "I know," Eshan mumbled as he brought our joined palms near his face before he placed the lingering kiss on the back of my palm.


    "Innaya." I turned my attention to his eyes that were busy in concentrating on our joined palms, as he held them close near his heart. He took some moments as if he was gathering his thoughts. He started after he let out a heavy sigh, "Just don''t drift away from me. I understand everything is new... I am unable to put it in the words but I feel horrible when I am not able to help you. I feel worthless and I do not like that feeling. I have told you and I am telling you again, I love the beautiful smile on your face. I do not like to see the worry, panic, or fear in your these eyes. I absolutely hate the idea of anything causing you pain."


    He tightened his hold as if he thought I would run away from him. His eyes gazed into mine as if searching for any kind of sign before he continued, "I am not saying all this so that you feel obliged to share, whatever the problem is. All I have said is because I want you to know that you are not alone, I am there with you, for you. You remember when we met for the first time. I had told you, I am doing this because I want to, not cause I need to."


    "I am not sure what triggers those sorts of reactions from you¡ª"


    I opened my mouth to say something but I couldn''t. Eshan just smiled. "And no, you do not need to tell me. All I am asking is, try to trust me. I know it isn''t easy but it''s not that difficult either. God, I am rambling, ain''t I?" His face scrunched up before he hid his face in the pillow.


    "Eshan, I get what you are you trying to say. Trust me I do." I let fingers of my free hand, gently run into Eshan''s hair. At that moment, he resembled like a child to me trying to hide from his mother when he stole candy from the jar. He confessed what I was feeling earlier. I knew what he was going through.


    "Innaya," he spoke still laying in the same position, on his stomach with his face pressed against pillows. His voice came as muffled one.


    "Now what?" I asked with a small smile playing on my face. His hair felt soft and silky against my skin. I had never touched them or for that matter, I had never initiated anything from my side.


    He slowly turned his face, directly looking into my eyes before he started, "I have never asked you."


    I raised my eyebrows questioningly.


    Eshan continued, " Are you comfortable with this intimacy of ours? I want you to set the pace of our relationship. I don''t want to rush you into anything. Hmm? So?" I withdraw my hand abruptly as all the feelings came back with more intensity.


    I covered my face with the cover, tightly shutting my eyes as my heart started beating louder. ''Why on the earth he had to ask this. God! How am I going to face him now? Talk about the embarrassment. Seriously?''


    Eshan chuckled loudly while trying to remove the covers from my face. "Innaya," he called out innocently but I knew better. I knew better than to fall for his act.


    "Good night Eshan," I mumbled, as the shyness got better of me.


    Somehow, he managed to sneak inside the cover, putting his arm across my stomach. With his face snuggled into my neck, he softly whispered in my ear, "Good night torta di compleanno."


    "What was that?" Breathless I whispered, knowing he would hear from such close proximity. His warm breath tickling my skin while his fingers leisurely roamed above my kurti and I felt like they were touching my skin.


    "That''s for me to know and you to wonder," he playfully stated.


    "You-" I did not know what to say in the response.


    "Yeah, I, your very own husband my dear wife." He pulled me closer and placed a small kiss in the crook of my neck. I felt the unknown emotion but surprisingly comfortable one taking over. I let all my thoughts rest aside as the last thing I remembered was his kiss on my forehead before his gentle patting lulled me to the sleep.


    *

 Chapter 21 - Embarrass Innaya Club

    |Innaya|


    I felt some weight on my waist. I shrugged it off thinking it was my sleepy mind, playing trick on me and I tried going back to sleep. It was soft and continuous thumping of something, beating against my ear, had my sleep-laden eyes fluttering. Blinking my eyes to get rid of their heaviness, it took me a while to get my vision adjusted. That lub-dub was again there and the rest of my sleep went away as something moved beneath me.


    What?


    I hurriedly looked around in search for the source for the sound and the moving. It came as a surprise when I found myself wrapped in Eshan''s arms. Waking up in his arms was not new, as it had happened a couple of times in last one month but the fact, that I was sleeping almost on him, with my head resting on his chest where his heart was beating against my ear, my one hand sandwiched between our bodies, other one draped across his stomach, and well, my legs tangled with his under the covers.


    The shock was the understatement as my mind registered our intimacy. We were close but this close, and that too I, was more overwhelmingly concerning for my own good. Eshan initiated, always, never me. As I recalled last night''s event, I wondered how I ended up in this position, laying almost on top of him.


    My mind went back to the conversation with my family on one morning while we were having the breakfast, regarding my sleeping style.


    *


    "You know Naina, after marriage our son-in-law would be sleeping on the floor only." Grandpa''s word had Grandma''s, Mom''s and mine attention but for altogether different reasons. I put the sandwich back on the plate before noticing others were doing there breakfast normally as if nothing happened.


    With my eyes almost popping out in astonishment as if the topic itself was absurd, I glanced at Mom for help, but instead of doing so, she directed her gaze at Grandpa while sipping her favourite apple juice waiting for Grandpa to elaborate. Before I could turn towards Grandma, I heard her asking, "Why?"


    I could see Grandpa was barely able to contain the bubbling laughter, he was clearly enjoying at my expense. "Don''t you know? She wrestles with her bed while sleeping. The whole bed is not sufficient for her. I wonder what will she do at her in-law''s place?" with all seriousness in his voice, Grandpa explained worriedly.


    "I am more worried about my son-in-law though, Papa. How would he cope with sumo wrestler every night?" Trust my mother to join ''Embarrass Innaya Club'', her comment did the trick and the whole table erupted in loud laughter.


    I left the place as the teasing became too much. First of all, whatever wrestling Grandpa was talking about was my concern. When I knew I was not going to share my life with anyone ever, then what was the use of talking and being concerned about the son-in-law who would never be in the picture?


    *


    ''Seems like Grandpa was right, I did wrestle and that must have resulted in me shifting near him.'' I mentally face palmed myself.


    ''Not shifting near him, it is sleeping almost on top of him.'' My mind had to reason.


    I was mortified, at the same time, there was the strong urge of being in that position, the urge that was alien to me. It was already enough for the day and if he found us in this position, I was sure he would pass some teasing remarks that would only add more, to my already piled up embarrassments. So, in order to avoid any awkwardness and save myself from further embarrassment, as stealthily as I could, I pried away from his arms wrapped up around me. It took more efforts and more time to complete the task but I managed to free myself. Immediately I felt the absence of his warmth.


    Still lying on his chest, I raised my head little towards his face. ''Adorable.'' He presented that picture unknowingly. His always neat and gelled hair now were disheveled and yet they did nothing to mar his handsomeness, in fact, they added more to the cute factor, his mouth little opened, he slept just like a small baby.


    Lifting my right hand, I brought my palm to his hair, softly touching them. They felt soft just like yesterday. It was the second time I had let my fingers vanished in his dark, dense black hair. Slowly, I dragged my fingers to his forehead caressing it with them. With that I realized I did not like to see worry lines on it, I liked seeing him stress-free. That realization had me gasping in a surprise. My fingers, resumed their journey as if they had a mind of their own. They slowly traveled from his forehead to his cheek. He liked to keep himself clean shaved but the tight schedule of the last couple of days did not allow him to and that was the reason for his light beard. It felt, tantalizing against my skin.


    His warm skin felt so good against my cold one, and I wondered why I was so cold. One part of me, screamed to pull back my hand at that moment and another part in the very locked up corner, insisted on further exploration. My eyes flickered to his plump lips closing up ever so slowly together. I let my thumb trace his lips and the moment it met his lips, sudden shiver went running through my body and that pulled me out of whatever trance I was in.


    Quickly detangling myself from him, I rushed to the washroom without looking at him. I closed the door hurriedly behind me and stood in front of the mirror, my fingers clutching the sink as I shut my eyes tightly. The loud beating of my heart in my ears along with the sudden unknown fear had me almost panting with the unknown feeling.


    I opened my eyes as I stared at the reflection of the woman in the mirror. She was not me. The person who never let any male apart from my Grandpa have important place and space in her life was now touching someone when he was not in his senses.


    The thought of replacing my thumb with my own lips had jolted me to the reality. How could I feel this way about him? What was I thinking? What had happened to me? What if Eshan had woken up, what he would have thought of me? Oh, God!


    I put my head in my palms. I was thankful for almighty that he was sleeping when I was checking him out else, I did not know how would I have faced him. ''Stupid me. Hell, I don''t know how will I face him now.''


    I decided to take a shower first to calm down my estranged nerves and forget that anything like this had ever happened.


    *

 Chapter 22 - Not so soon, Tesoro

    |Innaya|


    After more than an hour when I was sure my face was not flushed anymore and I had quite a good grip over my emotions, I exited the washroom wiping my wet hair with the towel. I wore the blue Anarkali suit with simple work, I had kept inside the washroom last night.


    I noticed Eshan was not present in the room. He might have left for the guest washroom for getting ready.


    I moved towards dressing table to get ready when my phone buzzed. I glanced at the clock and realized, I overslept and I was more than late from my usual time. It was almost nearing ten in the morning. The phone continued to buzz as I had kept it on vibrate mode.


    ''Mom Calling.''


    I answered the call and put it on the loudspeaker mode as I was all alone in the room and my hands were moist.


    "Hello Mom, how are you? How is Granny? I am missing both of you," I bombarded the questions forgetting my earlier discomfort.


    Mom and Grandma chuckled. I guessed Mom also had the loudspeaker on. "Breath Innu, we are fine. Tell me how you and Eshan are. Yesterday you forgot to inform us, whether you reached or not. Eshan called us and now you are saying you missed us."


    "Umm... Mom, I slept," I stuttered as I recalled why I did not call yesterday and why I forgot today. I mentally thanked Eshan for informing Mom yesterday.


    "It''s alright. Eshan told us," Grandma spoke breaking my reverie.


    "Told you what?" Afraid I asked, hoping he had not said anything about that incident. I crossed my fingers as I waited for them to answer. The wait felt like an eternity when in reality it was just a few seconds.


    "That you were tired. Has something else happened?"


    I sighed in relief before adding, "Nothing Granny. You are unnecessarily worrying. Don''t forget about your today''s appointment okay?"


    "Yes, Grandma."


    "Mom," I whined like a child at my mother''s nickname for me. I was her child.


    "Where''s Eshan?"


    I nearly choked on air as she asked me about him. The last hour''s work went in a vain as along with his name, came the memory of earlier.


    "I am here, Mom."


    Abruptly I spun around as I heard his voice just from behind. How did I not notice him entering inside? I lowered my eyes instantly as I recalled, myself touching his closed eyelids. How on the earth was I going to face him, without embarrassing myself, or recalling my stupid stunt?


    "How are you? Hope my daughter is not troubling you."


    "She is a sweetheart Mom."


    My heart fluttered a bit at the sincerity and affection in his voice.


    "Now enough both of you, we will talk later. You guys get ready for the appointment. It''s getting late." I intervened knowing full well, I was just making an excuse to avoid his intense gaze and I wanted nothing more than to escape it.


    "Yes, take care, you two. Bye."


    "Bye."


    "Bye."


    Both of us said at the same time before I disconnected the call.


    For few awkward moments we stood in silence, at least it was awkward for me. My phone buzzed again. It must be Mom, asking something, so I answered without bothering to check the caller Id and put it on the speaker just like before.


    "Hello, Innaya." The male voice speaking from the other end had me almost drop towel in my hands on the floor. I quickly checked the caller Id to confirm it was Roy Sir talking to me.


    "Hello Sir," I answered still keeping it on the loudspeaker. I didn''t want Eshan to think anything about it and ask me later why I changed it from the loudspeaker. Honestly, there was nothing to hide from him.


    "I called to ask you about the flight schedule, you will be comfortable with."


    "Excuse me. Why?" I wondered why he was asking me about it. I was an adult and I knew how to travel.


    "The conference is next week, so I thought I will book our flight tickets and arrange for our stay in Mumbai. You don''t know anyone there, right?"


    He was just worried and being helpful. My mind seemed to be in overdrive today.


    "Thank you for your concern Sir, but no need of doing anything. In addition, now I do know people in Mumbai and I am already here," I answered in a gentle tone, as my eyes met Eshan''s through the mirror. His eyes were trained on me and when they met mine, the emotion in them was almost unsettling, in a good way though.


    "Here?"


    Roy Sir''s voice brought me out of our eye lock. I answered as I lowered my gaze to the small box of vermilion kept on the dressing table. "In Mumbai, let me know further details after your arrival."


    "Oh... Okay! See you soon!"


    I did not reply. I did not feel the need to, as the disappointment in his voice was weird to me.


    "Weird," I muttered to myself once I was sure he had disconnected the line.


    "Indeed." Eshan affirmed too.


    I kept my eyes solely focussed on drying my hair and leaving the room as soon as possible without any interaction with him. I hurriedly towel dried my hair before putting the towel away.


    From my peripheral vision, I noticed Eshan''s approaching figure towards me. I picked up the vermilion box and tried opening the lid, with my shivering hands. Eshan stopped behind me. His eyes were lazily roaming on my figure and I knew he noticed the slight shivering in my body as well as my downcast gaze.


    I did not know what I was going to answer him. I turned away hoping to leave the room when his hand wrapped around my wrist pulling me back at my place with his other hand around my waist.


    "Not so soon, Tesoro." His husky voice demanded my attention with the seriousness in his tone.


    *

 Chapter 24 - Was I really, ready for this step?

    |Innaya|


    "Innaya."


    "Sweetheart?"


    "Tesoro?"


    ''Go on. Call all the endearments in this world but that won''t help you.'' I refused to acknowledge him. I kept my eyes closed and head bowed, not willing to cooperate with whatever game he was playing.


    "Don''t be grumpy cupcake."


    ''God! Can anyone make him understand to not to use such sweet endearments with that ridiculously tantalising voice?'' My subconscious glared at that thought. Merely seconds ago I firmly decided to not pay attention to his sweet tongue and now, my heart was flipping on his side. Great!


    "Eshan, get to the point, please," I resignedly asked, tired of his growing questions. Actually, it was not his questions that were tiring but my own battle of these new growing feelings. I wasn''t like this... ever. I never felt this way.


    I found my palms being covered and that somehow calmed my heart little. I held back a sigh that was about to leave my lips.


    "You are my wife." Eshan pressed my palms gently in his.


    ''Seriously? As if I don''t know.''


    "Yes, I am and you are my one and only husband and we have been married for last one month. Anything else?" Uncertainly I looked at him after I opened my eyes, waiting for him to finish whatever he had started. I knew he could witness frustration, irritation on my face as I was clueless about this whole ordeal. However, I didn''t bother hiding it.


    "Thanks for the reminder." Eshan gazed at me with an unknown emotion in his eyes¡ª emotion, I was unable to decipher. He stood up from his kneeling position, making me stand along before he leaned forward with his one hand going back on my nape and other around my waist, pulling me closer.


    "Wh...at... What are you doing?" I stammered as my hands landed on his chest, for pushing him away or pulling him closer, I was not sure.


    His eyes had lost all the playfulness and now all I could see was bottomless pit of seriousness. That gaze of his rendered me speechless.


    "You tell me," Eshan whispered as he leaned enough to place his forehead against mine. I did not what to do anymore. The loud beating of my heart frightened me. At the same time the jittery feeling of being this close to the person who had entered in my life like a tornado, messing every plan I had of turning down any proposal, evoked something in the pit of my stomach.


    Eshan moved back but not much. He kept holding me within his arms. He brought his hand near my face, he slowly moved his fingers across my face, not actually touching just hovering in the air. His motion was surprisingly similar to the one I did in the morning. Once done with what he wanted to, his hand returned to its previous position.


    "This is not wrong. We being close to each other, is not wrong. You do not have to feel guilty for touching or admiring something that is rightfully yours," he whispered, his warm breath mingling with mine as he continued expressing his thoughts.


    I pulled back as soon as those words registered in my mind. ''He knew what I did. This was all for coming to this point. I rapidly blinked my eyes as they glossed with tears of mortification.''


    "You were awake." Realization hit me like the ice-cold water on my face in the cold winter. Eshan pulled me closer with his hand that was holding me by my waist, and lightly brushed his fingers below my eyes, at that point, I realized tears were running through my eyes.


    "That''s not the point, sweetheart," he cooed softly, pulling me close as he smiled looking in my eyes after wiping the wetness on my face, "The matter of importance is, I am all yours. Yours to do whatever you want, just like you are mine. That being said, you don''t have to feel uncomfortable before me, you don''t have to avoid my gaze. I will never do anything that will make you uncomfortable... Hmm..."


    He raised my palm by holding it from backside by his free hand to his face. Still keeping it in his grasp, he followed the exact path I had traced earlier in the morning, again. He stopped near his lips before he looked into my eyes as if waiting for some kind of reaction. I did not know what to do. His words were captivating and the fact was they felt right.


    "Innaya, it''s your heart exploring the new changem. Don''t let your mind put the barrier across your wants. Let your heart and mind be united and follow the path you feel right. Don''t deny yourself the happiness you deserve." He placed the soft kiss on the inside of my palm, his lips lingering there, and his eyes cautious as if waiting for me to pull my hand away.


    How could I pull it away, when that was one of the things, I wanted to do in the morning. The fear, the confusion, concerning this newfound change regarding him that scared me in the morning, was now slowly fading away. Without me saying anything, he handled everything in a better way.


    We stood there, simply drawn into each other''s eyes. He brought my palm he was kissing earlier, to our side before he leaned towards me with his eyes flickering to my lips-


    Was I really, ready for this step?

 Chapter 25 - I hate to leave you alone.

    |Innaya|


    Eshan was just at few millimetres gap distance, while his eyes flickered to my lips before they locked with mine. Too stunned with recent activities and the intensity in his eyes, I stood without moving.


    My mind swirled with different possibilities about interpreting the current situation, like pushing him to create some distance or letting him know he was crossing the line or pulling him closer and losing myself in the depth of his beautiful eyes and let him have the control.


    Was he going to kiss me? For the third time from when we met, I wondered. He leaned in while I closed my eyes when all I wanted to keep them locked up with his. My heart thudded widely in my chest as the nervousness bubbled within me. I could feel his breath on my lips, it was as if our breaths were mingling with each other and creating the harmony of their own.


    I opened my eyes when I felt the absence of his warmth. Eshan had stepped back and was looking at me with the small smile playing on his lips. He shook his head before he ran his hand through his hair, messing them.


    "I will be in my study." He informed before briskly walking away, leaving the room.


    I just stood dumbfounded at my place thinking- what the hell just happened? If he wanted, he could have just used the situation for his advantage. No one would have stopped him, not even myself.


    I stared at his retreating back. Today his thoughtful action won him my respect. Because even though I could have gone with the flow now, I certainly would have regretted it later. Eshan considered that and acted with more thoughtfulness.


    *


    "You broke my trust?"


    "You disappointed me."


    "How careless you can be?"


    "Can''t you just do one thing properly?"


    The angry voice that greeted me, as I entered the study room with breakfast tray had me, staggering in my steps. Somehow managing the tray and preventing the food from falling, I stared little afraid at the person in front of me.


    With the sleeves of his white shirt folded till his elbow, his right hand holding his mobile near his ear and other massaging his temples Eshan restlessly paced in front of the study table.


    "I don''t need your apology. Book the next flight available." His loud frightening voice and his angry eyes scared me. I had never seen Eshan angry. He was always sweet, caring one. I now understood all the rumours about his anger.


    His anger took me back to my past, past because of which I was afraid of many things. Anger topped that list. Not wanting to be subjected to his anger or be the object for him to take it down upon, as silently as I could, I started backing away.


    I did not realize in the attempt of keeping my eyes on him, I had missed the door behind me and my back collided with it, earning a painful hiss from me, and sadly, attention from him.


    Eshan rushed towards me; taking the tray away from my hands. He placed it on the t-table. The anger that was there a few moments ago was replaced by regret on his face.


    "I am so sorry sweetheart. I did not mean to frighten you. Are you alright?"


    I could just stare at him as he led me to the couch. He made me sit and he kneeled in front of me- just like the morning. I inhaled sharply as he buried his face in my lap mumbling something incoherent. Some time passed with us staying in the same position.


    I sat unable to decipher the situation. His anger scared me but this behaviour worried me. Eshan took my hands that were lying limp on my sides and wounded them around his neck while wounding his around my waist.


    "I have to leave for New York now," he almost groaned as if it pained him, even to talk about it.


    I waited for him to explain. My fingers on their own accord started gently roaming in his already ruffled hair.


    "Due to some misunderstanding and negligence from the staff of our company, I will have to be there to sort out the whole matter as the CEO." After long ten minutes of heavy silence, he answered.


    "What''s the problem, Eshan? I know you will solve it."


    "I don''t know how much time it will take, sweetheart. I hate to leave you alone."


    "Why will I be alone?" I asked, feeling sad that he did not want to take me with him.


    "You have the conference next week, Tesoro." He mumbled.


    How could I forget about it? Even in this state, he remembered about me first. It touched my heart. However, it was not the time to feel sad, instead, I knew I had to encourage him, assure him so that he could relax and handle that issue with full concentration.


    "Eshan, it''s alright. I won''t be alone as Amma will be there. In addition, I will be busy in the preparation, so you don''t have to worry about me. You concentrate on resolving that issue." I tried in a soft tone, hoping it did not give away the sadness I was feeling.


    It took some more convincing and after many instructions about taking care, his friends'' numbers along with the special request to Amma of taking my care, he agreed.


    Within an hour, his bags were packed and he left for the airport with one last hug and few kisses on my forehead and cheeks, leaving me all alone.l


    *

 Chapter 26 - Someone from past

    |Innaya|


    Life can be too unpredictable at times, who better than me would know this? Less than two months ago I came to know about Grandpa fixing my alliance without my knowledge. I met that person and got engaged on the same day and within two weeks, I was married. A month full of surprises for both of us and we were off to Mumbai at Eshan''s home, correction our home. It was not even few hours after we landed and my past came rushing back almost knocking me out in the process.


    It would be inappropriate of me to not give credit to Eshan, he has been the constant support, and driving force in the time of my need, and apart from that, I found him always beside me. He understood all my worries regarding this relationship and my changing feelings even before I could voice them or better realize them. I often wondered about him being the mind reader because he knew much more about myself without me ever telling him. I found an odd comfort in his arms as if they were meant to be my safe haven.


    I missed my safe haven. My heart pleaded me to listen to his voice while my logical mind butted in saying I should stop being clingy wife. I debated with myself on calling him as I sat under the big mango tree in our garden, fiddling with my mobile.


    Should I call him, or shouldn''t I? Staying away from him was affecting me in the worst way I could have never imagined.


    His arms provided my mind the nightmare-free sleep. I never had trouble sleeping after marriage, all thanks to his presence beside me and his arms around me.


    Why I had to have the conference coming in this week? If not for that I would have never stayed awake in the night, because then, I would have accompanied Eshan on his business trip to New York.


    ''Stupid conference!''


    Eshan left all alone without me, considering the conference date and that conference was canceled, how wonderful!


    Only if organisers had informed early, things would have been different. I exhaled heavily as the longing in my heart only increased as I recalled how exactly four days before when my husband caught on my little adventure and the self-guilt and how our morning- afternoon to be precise had turned out.


    The ringing tone of my mobile pulled me back from my reverie. Excited I glanced at the caller Id, hoping it to be my husband, only to be left disappointed at the other name flashing on the display.


    Why was he calling me?


    *


    Why someone I don''t know, would want to meet me? I did not understand. Why would Roy Sir want to introduce me to anyone, I was just another student for him, wasn''t I. Then why? My mind was in a mess.


    In the morning when I was leaving the house, Arjun met me outside. He insisted on coming with me, saying I was new in this place. I found that reasonable and thus Arjun accompanied me to the address Roy sir had given, when he had called and now we stood outside the apartment at the given address.


    Sir opened the door after Arjun rang the doorbell. "Thank you for coming here. Please come inside," he smiled while opening the door wide. His smile faltered as he noticed Arjun standing behind me.


    "Is he accompanying you? Who are you?" Sir questioned Arjun while Arjun came to stop beside me.


    "Yes. I am her brother. Does that bother you?" Arjun replied sternly.


    I could feel the protectiveness from Arjun''s voice. Him declaring himself as my brother was unexpected but not unacceptable at all. I would love to have him as a brother.


    "No, it''s alright. I was just surprised. Wait a minute, brother? But you are th single child, aren''t you?"


    Surprised at the knowledge Mr. Roy possessed, I chose not to reply. Me being the single child or not wasn''t of his concern in any way.


    "Sir, can you please proceed with why you called me here?" I asked, wishing to get done with it as early as we could. I wanted to talk with my husband. From yesterday morning, we hadn''t talk. I already was feeling restless.


    "Oh, yes. I am sorry," Mr. Roy apologized before moving away and leading us into the living room.


    "Have a sit," Mr. Roy offered, before himself taking the chair opposite us. He looked hesitant for some reasons, I could not exactly pinpoint the issue, but there was something unsettling about this whole situation.


    "Innaya, I know whatever going to happen now onwards is going to be difficult for you but I request you to completely hear her out." Mr. Roy joined his hands as if pleading me


    Baffled out of my mind, I stared incredulously at him.


    "Who?" Arjun asked the question, which was on top of my tongue. I mentally thanked him.


    "Can you please come with me, I can''t bring her here." Mr. Roy stood up, pointing towards the door at the end of the hallway.


    I nodded, considering his hesitation and my growing curiosity.


    I entered after him in the room; I figured that was the bedroom, knowing well Arjun was following me. For some odd reasons, Arjun''s presence assured me. It was weird but being with Arjun felt like, Eshan was closer to me, maybe because they were best friends.


    The dull colour of the room gave it rather gloomy look. My eyes searched for ''her'' he was referring to and they came to rest on the woman lying on the bed. She appeared terrible, her face was turned to other side but judging by the wheelchair and other medications kept on the side table along with how frail her body looked, I realized she must be going through something serious. She looked old and worn out.


    I staggered back as her face turned towards us.


    "You-"


    ''No, this can''t be happening now. No, God!''


    Bile started rising in my throat as the familiar fright crawled on my whole being. Tears gathered in my eyes, and my head started hammering with all those horrible memories.


    "Ayu..." her broken voice called me, with the name I had tried hard to forget.


    "Do...not... Don''t... call me that," my voice came out in a stammer, but I didn''t care at this point. All I wanted was to turn and run far, far away from her presence, yet I felt frozen with the fear.


    "Innaya," Arjun''s touch on my shoulder, startled me. His worried eyes were fixed on me as he held my shaking figure by my shoulders.


    "I am sorry... but I don''t want to do anything with her," I almost cried with fear.


    "Please Innaya. She is dying," I heard pleading voice of Roy sir, but nothing mattered anymore as I silently begged Arjun to take me away.


    Arjun nodded before leading me out of that apartment.


    "Please hear her out. She is adamant about not getting treatment as she feels she deserves this," I could hear Roy Sir trailing behind us, but I didn''t care. I wanted to get away from that place.


    "Leave us alone for awhile," Arjun spoke without turning back. He walked me to the car parked in the parking.


    *

 Chapter 27 - I am missing you ?

    |Innaya|


    After around half an hour later, I stopped shaking as well as I felt little better being away from that woman. After making me sit, Arjun had patiently waited for me to settle down.


    "Look I am not aware of your past with that lady but don''t hurt yourself because of it. You are not comfortable and that''s why we are leaving," Arjun offered while taking the bottle from my hands.


    "But she is -" I couldn''t complete that sentence. She was horrible to me even to the point of being inhuman, but I could never wish for her death.


    Arjun nodded in understanding, before he cleared, "I know. It''s completely your decision. My opinion doesn''t matter. I can only suggest you something."


    Wiping my tears, I took his words in a consideration for a while. "Tell me," I gestured him after I made my mind.


    "The history you share with that lady is not good. However, I think you should at least hear her out. God is punishing her. This is about you. Sometimes it''s not about letting go, it''s about accepting the past. I know it hurts but unless you accept, it''s going to haunt you. I understand it''s easy to say, but you need to try. At least that''s what your Grandpa would have said." Arjun finished with a thoughtful look


    "It''s difficult." I was scared; my past was not something I liked, I would rather chose not to talk about it.


    "I know it is. Life is never easy. We have to make it. You understand? Ok, how about you only listen to her instead of being in her presence?" Arjun put forward his thought.


    Puzzled, I waited for him to continue. Taking a cue he started, "I''ll call that professor of yours and ask him to put that lady on phone. You just listen to her and then decide. Look I know you don''t want her to die."


    He was right. I didn''t want her to die. Moreover, what he proposed was not that bad because that meant I was nowhere near to her. Mustering all my remaining courage, I nodded. He smiled encouragingly before talking the same with Mr. Roy. I just listened to one-sided conversation before Arjun put the call on loudspeaker.


    "I am sorry... I know you don''t want to see my face and I deserve your every bit of anger. I am disgusted with myself for hurting a child. I did not realize that in my love for my child, I was crushing¡ª crushing another one... I am sorry." Muffled cough followed her apology leaving uncomfortable silence behind.


    "No amount of my apology will be enough for the pain I had caused you," I heard her after her coughing stopped, her voice was defeated and low, yet I heard each word crystal clear.


    Controlling my tears and my emotions, I replied, "Get treated. There are people who care for you... I am not one of them."


    "Innaya, please," Mr. Roy requested but I knew better. The wounds that woman had given me were deep and raw, even after all these years.


    "I hold no grudges against her, that''s all," I stated before disconnecting the call.


    I sucked a sharp breath before closing my eyes to stop myself from doing anything inappropriate.


    I leaned forward, putting my face in my palms. I closed my eyes, trying to erase this morning.


    "You did well." Arjun patted my head.


    "Thank... you," my voice came muffled, with all the bottled up emotions.


    "Let me tell you a secret of your husband dearest. Well, he is quite possessive about you." Arjun completely changed the topic as he whispered the last part, as if he was sharing some top secret.


    "No, he is sweet," I protested before I could stop myself as I instantly straightened up.


    "Aha... Sweet, huh? Not bad," Arjun grinned, before rubbing his hands gleefully.


    "Ok, you know Aunty, as in Eshan''s mother wanted a daughter first. But then Eshan happened. So she used to dress him up like a girl and she had a nickname for him "Eshu." He snickered to himself before continuing, "Eshan hates that name as everyone used to make fun of his name as it sounds girly."


    "That''s a cute nickname," I retorted. ''I seriously find that nickname cute.''


    "Imagine the host of news show announcing, "The great Eshu Singhaniya won the businesswoman award of this year," he laughed at his own joke that I found silly before he added, "and Eshan filing the complaint against that news channel."


    "God, it''s hilarious." Arjun had tears in his eyes as he laughed his heart out. However, he was right. I did imagine him filing the case and in his childhood getting dressed as the princess by my mother-in-law. Indeed, it was hilarious. A smile broke on my face remembering Eshan''s situation.


    "Your husband has a long life. See." Arjun sobering up a little, pointed his mobile screen towards me, where ''Eshan Calling'' was flashing


    "Eshuuuuu," Arjun drawled Eshan''s name while putting the call on loudspeaker.


    "Shut up Arjun," Eshan snapped.


    Hearing his voice after a whole day, felt too good.


    It provided comfort to my troubled heart.


    "How unromantic of you, here your wife is missing you and you are getting angry." Arjun signaled me to keep quiet, by placing his finger on his lips. I willingly agreed.


    "You aren''t my wife. If you are feeling so lonely then get married and bring your own wife," Eshan irritatedly retorted.


    "You can''t crack a joke, my friend." Arjun laughed at the Eshan''s misery.


    "Where is my wife? Why the hell you are with her?" Eshan changed the topic. Him enquiring about me caused the fluttering in my heart. His care and concern always for unknown reasons made me happy.


    "Your beautiful wife is in safe hands." Arjun winked at me. He was riling Eshan and it was the matter of sometime before he succeeded.


    "Hai dimenticato cosa ¨¨ successo l''ultima volta che l''hai fatto?"


    "No, non l''ho fatto, ma ¨¨ meglio che tu stia attento a questa conversazione. Ne ha bisogno e non ti preoccupare, sta bene e con me."


    ''There they go with their secret language. I need to start learning it soon.'' I mentally noted.


    "Let me talk to her," Eshan''s calm voice pulled me out of my thoughts.


    "Desperate huh?" Arjun teased, while suggestively looking at me.


    I averted my eyes as I felt myself blushing.


    "Arjun," Eshan warned.


    "Eshuuuuu, she can hear you. Ever heard the term loudspeaker?"


    "You monkey."


    "Same pinch my brother from another mother."


    "Innaya, can you please take the mobile and turn off the loudspeaker mode?" Eshan sweetly asked me.


    "I will be just back, non chiedere informazioni sulla nostra posizione o altro. Te lo spiegher¨° dopo." Arjun left the car, closing the door behind him and he willingly placed mobile in my hands.


    "Hello Tesoro, missed me?" Eshan asked after he was sure Arjun left.


    I did not answer. I too missed him but had no courage to admit.


    "Innaya?"


    I hummed in response.


    "I am not getting any sleep here," Eshan said seriously.


    "Why, what happened? Are you alright?" Alarmed, I bombarded him with questions.


    "I''m missing you... Very much, how can I sleep without holding you?"


    "Eshan," I chided him while my heart madly thudded.


    "God," Eshan groaned loudly.


    "What happened?" I was worried about him. Was he in pain? Had he injured himself?


    "I missed, listening to how wonderful my name sounds from your lips."


    Officially, it seemed like he vowed to tease me with his this new side- cheesy side.


    "When will you come back?" I asked after I made sure I would not stammer.


    "I am not sure about it Sweetheart. The problem is nowhere near being solved. I am afraid that my stay will stretch longer than intended." Eshan sounded tired.


    "Are you taking good care of yourself? Don''t miss me so much." The caring Eshan was back.


    "You don''t neglect your health. Take care of yourself and don''t skip the dinner. You tend to do that and sleep empty stomach when your attention is occupied by your work..." I almost ordered him, remembering his workaholic nature.


    "Eshan," I asked when he did not reply.


    "Eshan..."


    "Eshuuuuu..." Frustrated I used his nickname when he remained silent.


    "I am sorry, I didn''t want to hurt you. You were irritating me, so. Sorry Eshan," I rushed as I realized what I did.


    "That''s alright Sweetheart. I am not mad. Your address just took me by surprise, however, I don''t mind you calling me that," Eshan stopped my blabbing before he tenderly added the last line.


    "Knock, knock. Are you both done with your lovey-dovey talk? We have to leave. I don''t want my virgin ears to hear something inappropriate-" Arjun''s voice startled both of us while his comment annoyed Eshan and embarrassed me.


    "Shut up"


    "Shut up"


    Eshan and I both snapped at him but it was more out of embarrassment.


    "Bye Tesoro, take care. I will call you later." Eshan softly added. I could hear the longing in his voice.


    "Hmm..." before I could stop myself, I whispered back," Eshan, I am missing you, bye."


    I clutched the mobile near my chest after I disconnected the call, not before hearing his gasp of surprise as if he didn''t expect that from me. I did not expect that from me, nevertheless, it felt right.


    At that moment, Eshan and nothing else, occupied all my thoughts.


    *

 Chapter 28 - Panic Attack

    |Innaya|


    Arjun dropped me at home after the unexpected meeting at Mr. Roy''s place. He had stayed for the dinner, telling me some funny incidents. Somewhere, he felt the need of giving me company and I truly appreciated his thoughtfulness.


    The jokes, incidents that Arjun told did not do the job of taking my mind of, off the things but his efforts did. Amma and Arjun did not let me feel alone, even for a while. Amma requested or rather say ordered him to stay as it was late. They both retired to their respective rooms after wishing me a goodnight. I too left for my room, to get freshen-up and ready to spend one more sleepless night.


    The magnitude of the situation dawns completely and with much more force when you are alone in the confinement of your own comfort. It felt more than true as I lay on the bed in our bedroom, alone. Nothing more than the presence of someone special, someone who has managed to evade my heart and mind lately, I longed for at the current moment. How I wished for him to be with me and shove away the loneliness I was feeling. I closed my eyes trying to find the lost solace and peace of my mind.


    ***


    "You ungrateful brat, you won''t get any food."


    "You ugly girl, go and stay in your room."


    "How dare you eat this?"


    "Don''t have any manners."


    "You shouldn''t have come in this world. You are a bad omen."


    "Dare you, speak a single word."


    "This is your punishment. You will stay locked up in the storeroom until you learn your lesson."


    "You will eat this or stay hungry for all I care."


    ***


    Those words by that woman continuously rang in my ears while every memory attached to those incidents plagued my mind. My breathing laboured while black spots started clouding my vision as the loud cries left my mouth. As if, my mind was trapped, in that horrendous and horrifying period, I felt no longer in control of my own self. I wanted to break free. I wanted to come out of that illusion which once was a reality.


    Heavy pants left my lips, as I could no longer breathe properly. Gasping for air, I tried calling for help, apart from sobs no sound came, I could feel my throat burning along with my eyes, as they stung because of hot tears flowing through them. Drowned in my own agony, I did not hear the hurried footsteps nearing or did not realize when someone rushed in opening the door.


    "Innaya, my child, what happened?" The female voice felt too familiar and too close.


    Was it GrandMa? What was she doing here? I desperately tried focusing on her face yet all I could see was a blurred outline of someone. Something wet and cool was moving on my face, while someone pulled me into sitting position. My feet were being rubbed and some words were spoken that I couldn''t figure out.


    "Innaya"


    ''Eshan?''


    "Innaya"


    ''Eshan is here. How?''


    "Innaya, can you hear me, sweetheart?"


    ''Yes, I can. However, I can''t convey you. Eshan, please make it go. Eshan, please.''


    "Innaya, focus on my voice."


    "Breath in."


    "Hold it there."


    "Breath out."


    I followed the instruction his voice provided.


    "That''s my girl."


    ''My girl? It felt nice.''


    "Breath in."


    "Hold it there."


    "Breath out."


    "That''s right."


    "Breath in."


    "Hold it there."


    "Breath out."


    The tension and fright slowly left my body as Eshan''s voice worked as a soothing balm, I found myself being calmed down. Amma''s worried eyes staring at me and her hands holding wet rag wiping my face, was the first thing I noticed as my vision got cleared. Amma stepped back, giving me space to recollect myself.


    Where was Eshan? I certainly did not imagine his voice, did I?


    Amma offered me the glass of water, which I gladly accepted. As I drank the cool liquid, I realized how parched up my throat was. Even in a distressed state, my eyes searched for the face of the person I desperately wanted to see, however, instead of the honey brown eyes, the blue eyes full of concern greeted me.


    "You ok there?" Arjun stood up from the bed. He was the one rubbing my feet, I noted.


    I nodded hesitantly. Where was Eshan? I could not have imagined his voice, have I? Certainly, I never will be mistaking someone else''s voice with his. What the hell?


    Agreed I mistook Amma as Grandma but that voice-


    "Do you need anything Innaya?" Amma caressed my face, taking the empty glass from hands.


    I just shook my head in negative. I tried to give both of them smile but I could not. It was not that Eshan was there, whenever my past memories came, bringing me to the similar condition. However, I had, had these episodes before marriage, but they were not this often and recurrent. Perhaps the growing friendship between Eshan and me was to be blamed, for the sudden depressed mood of mine. His presence affected me but his absence bothered me.


    Then again, how could I expect him here, when he had no idea about my turmoil? Hell, even I had no idea that, someone from my past would come back in my life in this way and something like this would happen.


    "Expect the unexpected in life Innu..."


    Grandpa was right. We should always expect the unexpected. Unexpected as it was, I needed Eshan and even in my subconscious state, my mind relied on him and imagined him. The realization of how attached I was getting to Eshan frightened me.


    Unceremoniously the tears trickled down from my eyes, as I closed them momentarily. Irrespective of the haywire emotions taking a toll on my mind, the most prominent was the void and unsettling feeling at not finding Eshan beside me.


    "Eshan..." unknowingly the pained whisper of his name left my lips, even when I knew he couldn''t hear me.


    "Tesoro."


    *

 Chapter 29 - Are... are you really here or I am imagining you?

    |Innaya|


    "Innaya."


    I heard him, again. This time from very close. So close that I thought he was actually whispering in my ears. I could feel the warm breath caressing skin of my face. I could feel the warm cocoon of safety around me that I had started to feel only in his company. Slowly, I realized the presence behind me or rather just next to me. It was strong.


    The pillow I was resting against didn''t feel soft, rather it felt firm and strong. Just then my eyes fell upon arms around me, one around my shoulders and one draped across my midsection. The arms were too familiar to ignore and same was the case with their owner. Slowly, I inched my hand closer to grasp the right hand across my stomach.


    I wanted but hold it to confirm. But then, what if it wasn''t what I was thinking? I looked ahead to see Arjun''s and Amma''s worried face. However, I noticed how their eyes kept flickering between me and space behind me. I turned my head to my right.


    The happiness of getting something, at that moment, when everything felt lost, cannot be expressed... neither in words nor in actions. The same happened to me, as I came face-to-face with the man I thought I''d imagined just a few moments ago.


    The depressing thoughts that had consumed me because of his absence were now filled with the something akin to the satisfaction. The familiar brown eyes of my husband, full of worry were trained on me. Lost in the remnants of the episode I just had, I had not noticed that it was my husband, who had pulled me into a sitting position and currently, I was leaning against him.


    The face of man I longed for was just a mere inches away. I did not know what came over me as I suddenly turned into his arms and hugged him. It took some time for Eshan to wrap his arms around me. Maybe, my action startled him.


    I inhaled deeply. Hiding my face in his chest, I closed my eyes. Traces of effect of that woman''s voice were still lingering in my mind. Eshan''s presence just fuelled up my emotions.


    I felt my eyes tearing up, again. As if someone opened the gates of dam, tears just poured from my eyes. I let myself cry in his arms, not putting a hold on my feelings anymore.


    Eshan was there or not, or it was another trick of my confused mind, I did not know. However, it didn''t matter anymore. I clung to him as if it was the only thing holding from breaking myself. I cried remembering all the pain I had gone through, all the taunts of that woman that destroyed my confidence, all the sufferings I had to face because of her.


    "Shh sweetheart, you will get yourself sick," Eshan whispered in my ear while patting my back after what seemed like an eternity. My cries reduced to sobs and eventually to sniffles as it felt there were no tears remained.


    His gentle caresses on my back, his familiar cologne of wood and mint assured me of him being with me. Still wanting to confirm, I called his name, though it sounded more like a question to me, "Eshan?" I braced myself for his answer. If it was dream or illusion, I never wanted it to get over.


    "Yes sweetheart." Eshan''s hand went to my head, cradling it gently against his heart. His fingers running through my hair, somehow miraculously brought back the lost calmness of my heart.


    I fiddled with his clothes mindlessly. "Are... are you really here or I am imagining you?" my voice came wobbly with all the crying I had done.


    Eshan chuckled lightly before he spoke, "I was not aware that my wife missed me to the level of imagining me," he paused for a while before adding, "How lucky I am!"


    I stiffened in his arms. Maybe, he noticed it. His humour was not what I wanted at that moment. The weight of the earlier episode was still not lost and the anxiety I felt, on not finding him was, way too much to handle. I pulled myself back, unable to contain my changing emotions. Eshan pulled me back and soon his fingers found my chin. Lifting my face, he leisurely met my gaze.


    "I am here Innaya. With you." Eshan answered. If that was not enough, he brought my hand closer to his face and placed a kiss on inside of my wrist, all the while looking in my eyes.


    Eshan took hold of my face, wiping the traces of tears from it with his fingers. I properly noticed him, he was wearing a brown Armani suit, a cream colour white shirt underneath, which was ruined because of my tears. His hair was ruffled and he looked tired, however, his eyes¡ª they were telling an altogether different story and held so many questions.


    "You said you have work..." I trailed off, not knowing what to ask. I lowered my eyes unable to look into his intense ones.


    He made me drink water again before pulling me into his arms. "Arjun briefed me about what happened."


    My eyes snapped to the place where Amma and Arjun were standing at the mention of Arjun from him. How could I forget about them? What must they be thinking about me?


    As if, Eshan read my mind because he answered my unasked question. "They left."


    I relaxed in his arms, knowing he did that for me. It did not matter, when, how, why? Arjun and Amma must have had number of questions but they respected my space. Tomorrow I would have to deal with them but for now, I was happy being in my husband''s arms. At least this night I could have no problem falling asleep.


    "Sameer and Barun took my place... I just couldn''t stay there," Eshan informed me, at the same time he confessed his inner feelings.


    I fiddled with his clothes, mindlessly. "I am sorry¡ª" I apologised. For me, he left his important work, even when I did not share the whole or part of the matter with him.


    "Don''t." Eshan softly admonished me before he added, "Those things are not as important as you are. Wouldn''t you have done the same?"


    ''Yes, I would have.'' My mind agreed with him. His fingers were playing with my hair while his other hand held me close to his heart. Our legs were stretched on the bed, with Eshan''s back resting against the headboard and I almost leaning on him, with my head against his chest. I wondered how we ended in such a position.


    From our present intimacy no one could predict what had transpired sometimes ago. It was almost serene being with him.


    "Innaya?"


    I hummed in response, focusing on his fingers that were running on side of my face, almost making me sleepy.


    "You want to share what happened? You were thrashing and mumbling something about being..." Eshan trailed off.


    For a moment, I had forgotten about it. That was the effect Eshan had on me, nowadays.


    Was I ready to tell him?


    However, bottling everything was not helping me either. One day or other, I had to tell someone and talking was the best therapy, suggested by my doctor.


    "Innu, never think before talking your heart out with someone, who actually cares. There will be people who would probe you just to get gossip out of it and there will be those, whom, your pain will cause pain. Always differentiate between them and never lose the chance you get. It''s not for someone else''s satisfaction but for tranquillity of your own mind." I remembered Grandpa''s advice.


    Eshan rubbed my upper arm, unknowingly comforting me. I took a deep breath, preparing myself for sharing a part of my past, not for him but for my own peace.


    "Let''s say, I have a bad history with that... That woman."


    *

 Chapter 30 - Childish Argument

    |Eshan|


    If I ever had the slightest inkling that things would turn out this way, I would have never left in the first place. Leaving Innaya alone was a very bad idea and now, I was regretting it.


    Witnessing her going through something painful, that I had no clue about was something I couldn''t describe. It made me feel helpless. I shuddered as I remembered her withering figure, with tears streaming down her face through her closed eyelids. It was tormenting.


    Holding her in my arms was somewhat assuring. ''Innaya might not be aware of how much I needs her, but she has become my solace. I would not put her through same turmoil once again by asking her about why it happened, what had happened. She is already emotionally exhausted and again recalling everything could be triggering.''


    "Innaya, as much as I would like to know it, I think we should have this discussion some other time. Today''s events are more than enough for you and I don''t want you falling sick with so much of stress," I voiced out my thoughts.


    As I looked down at her face, I noticed she appeared tired and had dark circles. "I can see that you have been having trouble sleeping... if I consider these dark circles," I added, while with my thumb I traced the one beneath her right eye.


    Innaya closed her eyes and her fingers curled into a fist on my chest, clutching my shirt in the process. She may not realize what her little actions meant to me, but every time she did something like this, it warmed my heart knowing she was getting comfortable with me.


    "Innaya," I called softly, running my fingers gently through her hair. Innaya just hummed in response. I felt her body relaxing slowly.


    "I missed you," I confessed once again. ''It is true though, and I am not ashamed to admit. There are people who would not accept that, to their spouses but I am not one of them. She is my better half and she deserves to know everything. Even when I know, she wouldn''t reciprocate.''


    Innaya surprised me as after a silence when I thought she wouldn''t reply, she answered, "Me too."


    Her lips curled into a smile.


    Her smile was so infectious, that I found myself smiling. I stroked her cheek with my fingers while I continued, "Next time, I am not going anywhere unless you are accompanying me. I can''t seem to sleep alone now. You have become my habit, a beautiful habit." Those three nights were very bad, owing to the lack of sleep I got. I do not intend to go through the same restlessness ever again. No matter what it would take, I would not spend one more night without having her beside me.


    "Stop flirting," Innaya admonished, softly slapping on my chest. However, with every passing second, the blush covering her face only grew more.


    "I am saying the truth. Believe me or not but you are my fairy, who puts me to sleep every night. I missed my fairy," I added in a flirtatious tone.


    Both the times I told her the truth, but this time I was in a flirting mood. The red shade on her looked good, besides that gave my heart a strange satisfaction of being the reason behind it. If a little bit of teasing could take her mind off the things then who was I to mind?


    "Stop being cheesy Eshan," Innaya chided playfully.


    I cupped her face before bringing it upwards as I added looking into her eyes, "I am being romantic, Innu." I was rewarded with the gasp of surprise and widening of her eyes in astonishment. Why would she not be taken aback, this was the first time I was openly flirting with her. I chuckled at her bewildered expressions and at how adorable she looked.


    "Stop it, Eshuuuuu." Innaya tried pulling back once she realized I was just messing.


    ''Eshuu? Not bad Mrs. Innaya Eshan Sighaniya. Definitely, no one would like being called as Eshu at all the time by everyone who deemed fit to do so just for the sake of entertainment.'' I did not like it too. Nevertheless, having her use that childhood name, I tried so hard to avoid then, somehow felt sweet to my ears. Well, everything coming from her lips sounds sweet as honey to my ears.


    Innaya managed to get away from me; or rather, I would say I let her have her way, not wishing to make her feel uncomfortable. She sat straight with her back towards me, keeping some distance between us.


    "Aha, you seem to be learning that from my dumb friend," I remarked, hoping to divert her attention from her current shyness. Moreover, Arjun would get his share of punishment for revealing that to my wife.


    "He is not dumb, ok? He is sweet," Innaya retorted while folding her hands across her chest. She turned her head and glared.


    ''Adorable!''


    "Sweet?" I scoffed before I added, "He is a flirt and dumb." ''Certainly, Arjun Arya is anything but sweet.''


    "No, he is not."


    Innaya turned fully towards me and stood on her ground.


    ''Okay.'' I should trade carefully, apparently, Arjun''s charms seem to have worked on my dear little wife.


    "Yes, he is," I adamantly argued back.


    "No, he is not." Innaya faced me while emphasizing on every word. Her eyebrows arched up and her lips formed the thin line of disapproval as she glared at me.


    We were arguing over something so trivial, but Innaya looked like protecting something precious.


    Somewhere, her being protective for Arjun irked me. "You are saying this because you don''t know what he did."


    "Tell me,"


    she demanded righteously.


    "He called you ''beautiful''." In addition, he was going to call you hot and assumed we were only sleeping around. ''Off course, I am not telling you that.''


    "What? So according to you, I am ugly?" Innaya asked irritated.


    "Where that came from?" Astonished I replied. Why would I think such a bad thing about her? ''You are not ugly and I can explain the whole night how beautiful you are.'' I muttered in a low voice making sure to not let her hear.


    Innaya held her ground and looked at me with her eyes expecting a proper explanation. She didn''t realize how beautifully fierce she was looking.


    I gave up infront of her steely resolve of knowing things. It was embarrassing to tell my wife that I was accused of sleeping around, even though it was with her but still. Which man would want his wife to know something like that when they haven''t even kissed?


    "I''m waiting."


    "He accused me of sleeping around."

 Chapter 31 - Everyone has a past

    |Eshan|


    I huffed before I stood up from the bed. I walked to the closet to pick out my nightwear. I was aware of the Innaya''s gasp and her alarmed, "What the?"


    "Yeah, what the. When I carried you on the first day, as they were unaware of our marriage, he said I started sleeping around and then called you beautiful," I answered while rummaging through the wardrobe.


    The approaching footsteps told me that she was coming towards me. Yet, I refrained myself from turning around.


    ''Why am I sulking like a child? Is it because she is taking Arjun''s side?'' I questioned myself.


    "What did you do?" Innaya''s voice startled me. When did she come beside me? I glanced beside only to see her taking out my nightclothes from another side. Then only I realized, I was checking into the wrong side.


    ''Stupid me!''


    "Umm... nothing," I replied taking the clothes from her hand. I avoided looking into her eyes for obvious reasons. I was not remotely proud of attacking him even when he started annoying me first.


    "Eshan," Innaya warned, taking hold of my wrist. ''Is this, real?''


    "I may or may not have strangled him," I answered tilting my head sideways. Innaya''s eyes widened in shock as if suddenly realising something and later she worded that, "Oh God, that''s why Arjunv was rubbing his neck that day."


    "Why would you do that?" Innaya asked puzzled.


    "Excuse me? What is the meaning of this? And, tell me, from when you both started being best friends?" perplexed, I shot back.


    "From today, and not only best friends, we are more than that," Innaya answered and a fond smile graced her lips. Even though I was confused about what she was saying, I smiled back. ''She is my personal calming balm. She has that contagious peaceful aura around her that blankets my distress and provides me the warmth of calmness.''


    "What that would be?" I raised my eyebrow questioningly but I was not angry or irritated anymore.


    "I am not telling you."


    Innaya turned her head away, folding her arms across her chest.


    "Fair enough. Let''s see how long you won''t tell me." I replied smiling rather mischievously as an idea of getting my answers formed in my head. I placed aside the clothes in my hand as I stepped towards Innaya.


    Slowly, I circled my hands around her and started tickling her.


    She did not even twitch.


    ''What the?''


    "I am not ticklish," Innaya informed me rather too smugly.


    ''Oh! No worries Mrs. Sighaniya I have other ways too.'' I smirked to myself before I stepped further and she stepped back.


    "There is no escape, Tesoro."


    I kept my hands on her waist before I slowly leaned into her. All the while, I was looking into her expressive eyes. They always allowed me to know her better. Currently, they had surprise and anticipation, filled in them. Deliberately, I kept my face neutral and unhurriedly slid her hair from her left shoulder with my one hand, while fingers of my other hand slowly traced round patterns on her waist.


    "What- what are... you... doing," Innaya stammered as she asked.


    The plan was working.


    "Trying," I simply answered before I placed my lips on her shoulder. I was aware of her sharp intake of breath and the way and how her face was getting flushed.


    What started as an innocent plan of getting an answer, turned into something else with the much more close proximity of ours.


    I had no idea what shampoo she used, but she really had a great choice. Not too strong and neither too mild fragrance of it was of perfect balance. Unconsciously, I breathed in the scent of her shampoo and hers.


    "Ok... stop... He is my elder brother," Innaya''s wavering voice broke my trance as she placed her hands on my chest. I was not sure of why she did that, but I was more than glad for that interruption. Never had I wanted to go this far and sure as hell I am not imagining where this would have led if not for her interruption. I closed my eyes to regain the lost control of my mind before her words registered in my brain.


    Brother? Abruptly, I opened my eyes as I looked at her surprised.


    ''We have been friends for as long as I could remember but after whatever had happened, I have never seen him giving this close place to anyone. Arjun Arya I know is not someone who would get involved in the brother-sister bond, that doesn''t mean he is bad or something. He is just not any relationship kind of person. What changed?'' I frowned.


    "Why are you surprised?" Innaya asked withdrawing her hands from my chest.


    "You are the first person apart from us that he... how I put it into words. Arjun is someone who wouldn''t let himself attach to people, well forget about a stranger. He takes time to adjust with umm... strangers," I awkwardly tried explaining. It was not my place to tell her anything about Arjun.


    "The Arjun I saw the whole day, was not the one you described," Innaya said with a thoughtful look on her face.


    "Well, everyone has past and the baggage it brings along with it," I said as my mind went back to Arjun.


    "Hmm... you are right. Everyone has a past," Innaya was speaking as if she was in trance. Her eyes glossed with tears. She continued as she leaned on the wall for support, "Well not everyone has beautiful memories of their childhood. Sometimes we have to take the brunt of someone else''s mistake or psychotic and pathetic excuse of human being. That... woman... she ruined my childhood for me. She... she made me hate myself. She made me feel worthless. My cynophobia is because of her. She left her golden retrieval on me, just because she thought that I disobeyed her and as a punishment she..." she trailed off as if, it became too much to bear.


    Hell, I felt disgusted by that woman. She did ruin my Innaya''s childhood and I was witnessing the scars that woman left on Innaya.


    I cupped her face, wiping the tears that were rolling down on her face. I wanted to stop her and at the same time, I wanted her to continue. I wanted her to get everything off her chest. That emotional burden, baggage, she carried was too much to handle for her and if sharing helps than I was more than willing to be there with her, for her.


    "If given a chance, I would rewind today and never-never meet her. She reminds me of that dark night where we wish for nothing more than the small light. She is one of my most horrifying nightmares, I never want to see," Innaya''s voice dropped as she tried hard to stay strong.


    However, I saw behind that failed attempt of hiding her pain. I knew, she was hurting and those incidents were forever etched in her mind.


    "Oh sweetheart," I engulfed her in my arms as she started trembling with all the emotions. I held her whispering the encouraging words in her ears. I held her until she calmed down.


    Tonight, I had disturbed sleep even though I had her in my arms. It was because of what she shared with me, because of what she had gone through. For the most of night, I just kept caressing her, hoping that at least for this night she would have the peaceful sleep.


    *

 Chapter 32 - Im her husband!

    |Eshan|


    I slowly closed the door of the bedroom after I confirmed Innaya was still sleeping peacefully. She never slept so late but after last night, it was better if she gets plenty of sleep.


    It was around eight in the morning when I was done with my morning routine. Hoping to catch up with Arjun, I left our bedroom.


    "I won''t leave without talking to her. Let me see her."


    "I guess you don''t understand human language. Don''t you dare create a scene here.."


    I descended the stairs speedily as I heard loud voices coming from downstairs.


    I was familiar with second voice, it belonged to Arjun but why was he so angry and most importantly on whom? Who could be he arguing with? I wondered to myself.


    "I want to see Innaya."


    I heard that male voice again. It held a stubborn vibe in it but there was palpable worry too.


    "If you have any message, then leave it with me. I will let her know."


    Arjun sternly ordered.


    "Please, I want to meet her. She is not attending my calls I am worried for her. After what had happened yesterday-"


    "Now are you worried, amazing. Before dropping that bomb on her, unexpectedly if I may add, you did not think. Please leave."


    "I..."


    I reached the living room and by now I was well aware that who the other person was. He was the man who was the reason for my wife''s tears, Mr. Roy.


    "You heard him, leave before I call security," I interrupted him, sternly. I kept my eyes trained on him as I came to stand beside Arjun, who was really trying very hard to stay calm.


    That guy, paused and turned his head in my direction. His eyes took in my sudden appearance as they regarded me cautiously. "Who are you? Listen I will leave after confirming she is ok, alright?"


    He tried soft approach though I could see through his attempt of shrugging us off.


    "She is none of your concern. She got us," Arjun retorted back before I could say anything and he nailed it. I was beginning to admire Arjun''s protectiveness for Innaya after seeing it with my own eyes.


    I just wanted to throw the uninvited man out of my house and Innaya''s life. I didn''t want to tolerate him anymore for I knew I might end up beating him for what he had put my wife through. I didn''t bother to hide my irritation for him.


    "Look, I don''t know you people. You aren''t her family as far as I know."


    ''How shamelessly persistent man he is.'' I eyed his tall figure with complete disdain. ''Who the hell he think he is? He got some nerve. In my house, he is telling me that I have no relationship with my wife?'' I scoffed at him.


    "I am her husband." I declared proudly. I witnessed colour draining from his face and how his body stiffened at the revelation. It was clear that he didn''t believe me. ''As if it mattered. Innaya and I were married, and it was truth. Period.''


    "Leave before I forget you are my guest." I took a threatening step bin his direction. I was aware of Arjun''s change of gaze. He relaxed and crossed his arms across his chest as if waiting for a entertaining drama ahead. I couldn''t blame him though because he was right about drama being unfolded right in front of his eyes.


    "You have done more than enough damage to my wife. Be grateful, I am not filing the case of mental harassment. One case is more than enough and you wouldn''t want to face the same fate as hers. Right, so the door is that way," I sternly replied.


    Mr. Roy looked shocked at my declaration. He opened and closed his mouth few times trying to say something but came nothing.


    It was as if someone snatched his ability to function. His face lost all its colour, it was as if someone opened his old wound.


    "Listen¡ª"


    "Mr. Abhinav Pratap Roy, you listen to me, and listen very carefully, because I won''t be repeating it again. Stay away from my wife and her life. Your presence is not welcome in our life. This is the first and last time I am being lenient. Do not test my patience. Now,, leave," I threateningly stepped forward as I let my anger take the control, showing him who held the power.


    He flinched at the mention of case. Why wouldn''t he? That topic was taboo in his life. He still dared to glare at me as his eyes turned murderous after initial shock wore off. He left but not before glaring at me in anger.


    ''You are messing with wrong person and you would soon be realising that Mr. Roy.''


    "How''s Innaya?" Arjun asked me as we settled ourselves on the sofa after that man left.


    "She is alright," I answered. A relieved expression passed on Arjun''s face. He comfortably leaned back in his place.


    "Don''t utter a word about this to her," I informed Arjun, with a hint of authority and protectiveness. I did not want her to get worried over this.


    "What is going on here?"


    *

 Chapter 33 - Stop abusing single people!

    |Innaya|


    I stretched my limbs lazily before I opened my eyes. Last night I got the proper, much-needed sleep and all because of Eshan. I dragged myself into a sitting position as I looked for him. He was not in the room and neither in the washroom as I could see the door of bathroom latched from outside.


    Where was he? I tried to not to let my mind wander on the reasons behind all the happenings.


    Yesterday started on a bad point, spoiling my day and night, but who knew later the very same night would end up bringing us emotionally closer.


    I would soon have to talk with the Doctor regarding these increasing episodes and nightmares. ''The intensity and frequency of them have increased and I do not have it in me to bear them any longer. I do not want to have my days or nights with other episodes.''


    With those thoughts on my mind, I walked to the bathroom hurriedly, as soon as I noticed it was nine thirty. I was so late.


    *


    I walked down the stairs hoping that I was not too late. Eshan, Arjun and Amma were sitting in the living room while engrossed in some deep conversation.


    I could not hear what they were talking as they stopped their discussion as Eshan stood up once our eyes met. It was weird, how he got aware of my presence beforehand as he was sitting with his back towards me. I shrugged all the thoughts as his lips curved into that beautiful smile.


    "Good morning everyone," I greeted before I came to stand beside Eshan taking hold of his outstretched hand. His skin was warm, soft, and welcoming. Eshan bending little placed his lips on my forehead before whispering in my ears, "Good morning my dear wife."


    I could feel his affection through such small gestures and my heart fluttered in my chest. These feelings were new and all because of him. I leaned to his side as he held me with his arm around my shoulders.


    "Owch," I hissed as something hit my forehead before falling down. Paper ball? Seriously? I looked up to the owner of the childish prank.


    "Good morning, sleepyhead," Arjun cheekily grinned my way before he stood up as well. I couldn''t help but glare at his way as he rolled another paper in his hands.


    "What? Ok, stop glaring," Arjun muttered before he threw that rolled ball in Eshan''s direction, " And stop abusing single people."


    I felt embarrassed at his comment though Arjun had smile on his face while he teased us. I turned to see Eshan''s reaction, only to find him holding the ball in his hands and out of nowhere, he aimed it perfectly on Arjun''s nose.


    ''Bingo!


    Take that for teasing us.''


    "Good morning Innaya," Amma broke the glaring match between Eshan and Arjun as she spoke to me. Amma''s eyes held the questions and I could see she was holding herself back from asking and even if Arjun behaved childishly, I knew he did only to not appear obvious with his worry.


    I unconsciously leaned more into Eshan at the prospect of answering them about last night. I did not even know what or how much they witnessed. I lowered my eyes not able to handle the growing anxiety. However, when Eshan squeezed my shoulder, I realized how close I was standing to him. How could I be stupid enough to behave this way in the presence of others? Instantly, I tried making some distance between us.


    "Amma, let''s go. I am starving." With one last glance in our direction, Arjun pulled Amma towards the kitchen as he rubbed his nose.


    But that cheeky monkey, he ruffled my hair, messing them when I was not paying attention and almost ran away.


    "You¡ª"


    He chuckled and Amma slapped his chest playfully. "Stop it, Arjun."


    Eshan stretched his hand Infront of me and I found him holding another paper ball. Didn''t he just throw the one? Where he did get one from? Shrugging the thoughts I took it from him and aimed for Arjun''s head. It perfectly landed on back of his head, not missing the target.


    Arjun stopped in his tracks and turned back, staring at fallen paper ball on the ground. In the meantime I found Eshan sneakily picking cushions from couch and as stealthily as he could, he hurled them at Arjun.


    Arjun evaded every single attack of Eshan and effortlessly. I forgot to join as I watched too friends busy in their banter. Looking at them, I missed Siya. We would also engage in such kind of childishness. How I missed my friend!


    "Enough two of you. Eshan clear this mess and Arjun, help me in kitchen." Amma ordered and dragged Arjun away, leaving Eshan, I and messy living room behind.


    *

 Chapter 34 - Who is Liza?

    |Innaya|


    I fidgeted with the sleeves of my dress once we were alone. Aware of Eshan''s curious eyes, I turned to help Amma in the kitchen. Though avoiding her and Arjun seemed best at that moment, but handling Eshan''s questions, and proximity, was a tougher task.


    "Sweetheart, can you please come here for a moment," Eshan called out to me before I could walk away.


    Slowly, I turned in my place and l found all the mess cleared from the ground and Eshan sitting on the sofa. Was I lost for that long?


    Eshan patted space beside him on the sofa. I sat keeping some space in-between us. ''What is wrong with me? Why do I become so comfortable with him and so dependent on him? Was it I last night, who desperately wanted no one but her husband to comfort herself?'' I frowned at my own thoughts.


    "Are you alright?" I looked up wondering what was he talking about.


    He must have noticed confusion on my face as he repeated again, "Are you alright?" However, this time Eshan took hold of my hand and turning it upwards his thumb slowly rubbed circles on the inside of my wrist.


    I guessed he was talking about last night. I slowly nodded my head at him but then I remembered I never thanked him.


    "Hmm. Thank you!" I said ignoring the feeling, his soft caresses on my skin were evoking. His eyes were searching as he looked into my own. He smiled to himself before he shifted closer to me.


    What was he searching? What was that smile for?


    "There are certain things every human mind and heart desires. Comfort is one of them. Seeking comfort in your husband''s arms is not wrong and you don''t have to be embarrassed about it. I am your better half and you have every right to confide everything with me. Presence of others does not matter, judgemental views do not matter," Eshan stated as his eyes kept captivated me in my place before he added, "Because same applies to me."


    Till today it was the mystery to me, how deeply he could read me and answer my unasked questions. I shook my head before I smiled back at him.


    "Let''s go," Eshan stood up, pulling myself along. His smile did not falter for once as he dragged me.


    "Where?" I questioned as we walked to the backside of the house.


    "Surprise." Eshan continued pulling me but this time his arm came around my waist. The same fluttering feeling returned back as his fingers tightened slightly and I couldn''t help but gaze at him and at the same moment, his head whipped in my direction. It felt as if my breath stopped at the suddenness of his action and more than that at the emotion on his face. I couldn''t exactly point out what it was, it was something akin to adoration, pride, I was not sure. The sunrays falling on his face, emphasized his features more and his eyes turned shade lighter. I blinked my eyes trying to come out of the strange web that engulfed us.


    At someone''s throat clearing, we slightly sprang apart. Eshan still had his arm around my waist but Arjun''s untimely presence brought the much-needed distraction.


    I noticed we were standing in the garden. I had been in the garden but had not explored it completely. I had just seen the outer side and had spent my time there when Eshan was away. Currently, where we standing, the whole place was covered with large trees of mangoes, oranges and some even I had no idea of. "Why are we in the garden?" I asked as I glanced around once again, drinking in the serenity of the beautiful sight of nature.


    Arjun clapped his hands, maybe to my attention as he replied once my eyes were on him, "For race. Eshan and Liza are having the marathon and we are judges."


    "Who is Liza?"


    "What the-"


    Eshan and I spoke at the same time but with the different question.


    "Haha, very funny Arjun," Eshan sarcastically commented before he rolled his eyes at him. For some odd reasons, Arjun appeared mischievously enthusiastic.


    "Excuse me, but would anyone tell me, who is Liza here and what''s going on?" I asked once again as both the men stood ignoring my earlier question.


    Arjun walked towards me, winking his eyes at Eshan before he bowed down saying, "Let me do the honour. Follow me, my lady." I chuckled at his antics but nonetheless followed him with reluctant Eshan beside me. Truthfully, I was curious about the said girl ''Liza''.


    "You see, we will have to go to Liza. She is a bit shy you know," Arjun added as we ducked down the branches before we walked into a deeper part of the garden. ''How much land is there? Is it a mini forest?''


    "Don''t make sound, okay?" Arjun warned us before he stealthily moved on the stone pathway.


    ''What the? Who the hell is Liza?''


    I nearly tripped on the stone, I did not see because of my curiosity for certain Liza. "Careful." Eshan as always was there to hold me, he steadied me on my feet.


    "Liza meet Innaya, and Innaya, meet Liza," Arjun excitedly introduced me to Liza he was talking about from so long.


    My lips curved upwards and even before I could stop myself, I was grinning like an idiot. This man was alien to me, alien with some unusual sense of humour.


    Before I could stop myself, I was laughing hard, clutching my stomach. Soon enough Eshan joined me. I was laughing so hard that tears gathered in my eyes and my cheeks hurt. I leaned on Eshan for support who gladly held me while trying to control his laugh.


    "Stop laughing, okay?" Arjun pouted at us and that only made us laugh more. After few moments, Arjun too started chuckling.


    "Ok, come here," Arjun after sobering up beckoned me towards ''Liza''.


    "I am fine here," I answered as I wiped the corners of my eyes.


    "Come, sweetheart," Eshan lead me forward, which wiped the smile from my face.


    ''Who the hell name squirrel as Liza and introduced her this way? Eshan please don''t. She looks cute from here. Let her be on her own.''


    "Eshan, please," I replied, stopping at my place.


    "Trust me," Eshan replied as he turned to face me. I nodded, still hesitant to step towards that little creature, which was busy munching on the groundnuts Arjun had thrown on the ground. Two alert large eyes stared at me cautiously as her ears twitched for any sign of dangers before she nibbled on the groundnut she had held in her two front paws as she sat on her hind feet.


    Somehow, God heard my prayers and that tiny squirrel ran away. Relieved I sighed before thanking the almighty for the timely intervention.


    "Kids, everything is ready. Clean your hands and get here," Amma shouted before Arjun could remark something. I realized then, instead of helping Amma I was roaming. I knew she wouldn''t mind but I should not make her work alone. She shouldn''t feel as a worker, Eshan treated her with respect as a family, thus she was my family too.


    "Coming Amma," Arjun yelled back before rushing out and we followed him silently.

 Chapter 35 - Does Eshan, know about your PTSD?

    |Innaya|


    After relishing the delicious food made by Amma, Arjun and I sat in the study. Amma was leaving today for pilgrim and Eshan went to drop her at railway station after we had our brunch. I''d wanted to tag along when Amma asked me to stay back, saying Eshan would be back soon and she did not want the teary goodbye at the railway station. Reluctantly I had agreed to her and here I was with Arjun, waiting for him to start his interrogation. After a long silent period, when he said nothing, I thought I should explain him in bits.


    I opened my mouth to speak when Arjun asked, "Innaya, since when it all started?"


    "Long time ago," I truthfully answered before I could stop myself. I was not sure why I answered him but now as I answered I waited for his reaction. I could always leave the conversation if I don''t feel like answering.


    "Does Eshan, know about your PTSD?"


    "How... how do you know?" I stammered as he pinpointed the actual term. I stared horrified at his place. ''Was he a spy? Did he hire any detective? Has he gone through my medicine pouch? Has he told Eshan?'' The number of questions swirled in my head as I tried to make sense of his words. I could feel sweat beads starting to form on my forehead.


    ''Take a deep breath, Innaya take a deep breath.'' I chanted it in my head.


    "I take that as he doesn''t know, yet." Arjun slouched in his chair as he gazed at his wrist before his fingers played with his wristwatch.


    "I have gone through the same. I have my own demons and I do know how you feel. Trust me I do." Arjun smiled sadly before he asked, "Have you taken treatment for it?"


    "Yes," breathless, I replied. What was the meaning of this conversation? He surely wasn''t coaxing me into telling him everything. I was grateful for that.


    But looking at his cheerful personality, who would think that he was suffering from something like PTSD?


    "Eshan helped me, knowingly or unknowingly. He''ll help you too. Just let him in. It may feel difficult, you would want to hide those scars from him, but it''s not worth it. Your past is not worth your future. Never let it ruin your relationship. Never ever," Arjun stated but it felt more of the brotherly advice.


    There was unhidden pain as he talked about his issues and Eshan''s support.


    "I am not going back on my words, I called you my sister and it''s going to be same now onwards," he added sincerely, looking straight in my eyes.


    I couldn''t help but think about his past. His sad blue eyes were holding the pain in them. His distress was palpable and I could feel the pride he had for Eshan and concern for me in his voice.


    I gazed at him, trying to discover something I didn''t know.


    "Tell me your story?"


    Arjun asked.


    "What story?" Fear once again gripped me, thinking about what he was asking. Was he asking about the trauma or stress that led to my PTSD?


    "The one when you felt it was love at first sight and decided to spend your life together for eternity with my stupid friend." Arjun chuckled playfully. Just like that, sad Arjun was gone and cheerful Arjun replaced him.


    "There was no such thing," I replied, knowing full well that he was in a teasing mood.


    "Like hell, there was not. If it was no such case then why you guys got married in such a short time. Please don''t give me the excuse of auspicious date," Arjun scoffed as if he felt we lied to about it.


    Who wouldn''t? We lived in a modern era and things like this were considered jokes for many out there.


    "Why don''t I answer that question for you my dear friend."


    Eshan''s voice sounded from behind and I turned to see him throwing daggers at Arjun.


    I sighed in relief as Eshan returned back to handle his playful friend. Moreover, somehow, he understood my silence and not for once probed me for information.


    However, this question had reminded me why and how I agreed for this marriage. All because of Grandpa''s letter, he had left behind for me.

 Chapter 36 - Siya Raghav

    |Innaya|


    "Hello, Siya! How are you?" I asked as Siya answered the video call. The blank look on her face was scary. Even before I dialed her number, I had an idea about how bad the start would go.


    "Excuse me, do I know you?" Siya glared at me.


    ''Ouch! That hurt! Glaring Siya is always bad.''


    "Don''t tell me you lost your eyesight. Oh my god! Poor you." I tried chuckling and joking yet her glare remained intact.


    "Shut up! I am perfectly fine. You-"


    "Ok, that would be enough. Don''t be mad, Siya," I interrupted her before she could start hurling profanities at me. ''Siya Raghav would never think before speaking while she is angry.''


    "Don''t be mad. Don''t be mad. She is telling me don''t be mad. Wonderful," Siya mocked.


    "Siya," I took her name slowly, hoping she would calm down. However, deep down I knew she had just started.


    "Firstly, she gets married without informing me. Then she gets vanished, just after a month and even better, changes her number. Moreover, she now has spared time from her busy schedule to call me after half a month. What a good fortune, I must say," Siya ranted, counting my every mistake, according to her.


    "I am sorry," I apologized sincerely. It was true, that after coming to Mumbai, I had forgotten to contact her. However, it was not purposefully. It just happened. I just did not realize how past half month went, maybe because of Eshan and his support.


    "Sorry, my foot. I don''t accept your apology. You don''t care about me anymore," Siya almost yelled in the end, bringing me out of my thoughts.


    I desperately pleaded before she could disconnect the call, "Siya, please let me explain before you hang up on me, okay?"


    She glared for a while before she spoke, "You better have a good explanation."


    "I do."


    I nodded my head.


    "Go ahead," she commanded as she kept her left hand on her hip.


    *(Flashback)*


    "What part of I don''t want to talk, you do not understand?" I asked barely containing my anger as I heard Mr. Roy. From last one week, he kept continuously calling and messaging me when I was openly avoiding any interaction with him.


    I heard him sigh. "Please Innaya. Listen to me once, please. You know me-"


    "No I don''t. I never knew you other than you being my professor. Perception changes as per the situation. You are no longer the person I thought you were. Please do not call me ever," I interrupted him. He had given me enough reason to not to be in contact with him.


    "Please-"


    I threw my phone away angrily from the balcony and heard it shatter.


    *(Flashback ends)*


    I sighed as I recalled why I had to change my number, but she need not to know that. Deciding to be as honest as I could, I replied, "I had to change my number because of some problems and before you jump with the guns, I had asked mom to give that number to you. I had lost all the contacts. I know that is not the reason enough but you know me. This is how I am."


    I waited for her to say something... anything, but she did not.


    "Are you still angry?" I hesitantly asked.


    "I am sorry," I replied when she remained silent.


    "I am sorry too, for overreacting," Siya sighed as she held her ears in apology.


    I chuckled. ''This is Siya, whose anger dissipates easily once she calms down.''


    "Don''t be. I know you were worried," I added as I relaxed and leaned back on the sofa in the living room.


    "So tell me, did you like the gift?" I asked while picking up the glass of orange juice, I had already prepared for myself, from the coffee table. I had ordered her favourite author''s books online and had them delivered to her address as her birthday present.


    "Yup, thank you. You do remember how to make me happy." Siya beamed with happiness as she pointed the camera where she had arranged them on her bookshelf.


    "How are you Innaya? Is your husband treating you well?" She turned serious accessing me with her piercing eyes.


    Involuntarily a smile graced my lips and I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. "I am fine and he is treating me very well," I assured her happily. Eshan was treating me like a princess, his princess.


    "You are happy, right?"


    Why was she doubtful? Might be because, I did not contact her.


    I shrugged negative thoughts away before I smiled.


    "Siya, please do not worry. I am happy. It''s just the new change, it has taken a lot of my time to adapt things around, nothing else. You tell me about yourself," I assured her once again before I turned topic towards her.


    "I am good too. Well good news for you and bad news for me," she stated but I could see the mischievous glint in her eyes.


    "What is it?" I asked, sipping on my drink.


    Siya took a dramatic pause before she announced, "I am coming to Mumbai for my job."


    "Oh wow. Congratulations. I am so happy for you." I was delighted hearing that she would be coming to Mumbai.


    "I am happy for myself, too." She raised her invisible collar.


    "Siya." I rolled my eyes at her cheekiness.


    "Okay... I am happy for you too." Siya waved off.


    "When are you coming?"


    "Next month. Listen Innaya, I will have to call you later, I have to accompany Mom somewhere," Siya said as her mother called her from outside.


    "Oh okay, you carry on. We will talk later. Bye, and take care." I blinked my eyes at her.


    "Yeah, bye and take care you too," Siya answered before she hanged up.

 Chapter 37 - Missing Grandpa!

    |Innaya|


    I lied down after I placed the empty glass on the table. Setting the cushion behind my head, I adjusted myself comfortably on the sofa with my legs stretched out.


    I went through my gallery, looking for the picture of Grandpa and mine. It was a random click by Mom when we were lazing in evening, with my head on Grandpa''s lap and Grandpa caressing my hair softly. I stared at it for several seconds.


    "Grandpa, you know it''s been almost two months of me being married to your good boy." I chuckled to myself recalling how Grandpa mentioned him as a good boy in his letter.


    "Though I am not sure how easily so much time went. It just feels like yesterday. He takes good care of me. Sometimes he reminds me of you in terms of his understanding, his concern, and most importantly his patience." I sighed going in memory lanes, remembering how beautifully Eshan had handled everything, right from the first time we met in my bedroom.


    I wiped the corner of my eye before I smiled. I miss you, Grandpa, deeply.


    *


    (Flashback)


    I hid my face deeper in pillows as silent tears rolled down my eyes. I was going through photo gallery but after one point, the void of Grandpa became prominent and I couldn''t help but cry at my loss.


    The bed dipped beside me and I felt Eshan caressing the back of my head. I did not want to explain to him anything and hence, I remained silent. I thought he would leave, assuming I was sleeping but he didn''t.


    "Sweetheart, sometimes hiding your pain would only result in hurting you more... I know you miss Grandpa and trust me, we all do... I know your pain is more and I could never understand the depth of it, but sweetheart, you think Grandpa would be happy seeing you this way?" Eshan whispered softly after a while and I just clutched pillow tighter in my fist.


    Eshan moved on the bed and wrapped his arms around me before pulling me into his arms. I still did not face him; instead, I hid my face in his neck. His fingers reached my scalp, paving their path through the dense mass of my hair. His other hand rubbed my back in a soothing motion.


    He held me silently, giving his assurance and strength wordlessly. He whispered after the gap of few minutes, "I will tell you a story. Once a boy, must be sixteen years old, somehow got involved in wrong things. He did not know how to come out of it or with whom to share it. He was lost, without a single way out of that maze. He thought it was the end, he prayed to God to show him the path, to show him the light..." his voice trailed off.


    Somehow, I realized he was talking about Grandpa and himself. The pain in his voice was evident, clearly. A single tear rolled down my closed left eye on his skin and I felt him inhale sharply. He did not say anything, just kept on holding me. I could feel how his body shivered for slightest bit.


    "There must be someone above listening to that boy as he met his angel then. Somehow, that angel helped him to overcome his problems and after that, there was no looking back. His angel became his everything. Somehow, he got his godfather... Godfather who changed his life for better. Whatever that boy became, learned, all because of that Godfather. However, one day, he left that boy for... forever." Eshan''s voice dropped lower, almost barely above a whisper but with my face being so close to his, I heard him.


    Eshan''s hand stilled on my back as he started, "That boy used to miss his godfather very much and used to get sad at every memory of him... One day, he met his godfather in his dream but his godfather was very sad. That boy asked the reason behind his sadness. His godfather replied, that every time the boy cries or feel depressed because of remembering him, it hurts him thousand times more. Therefore, if he wants his godfather to feel happy, he should be happy himself while remembering all the happy memories they had together."


    Eshan''s words even though were about his own self but I got the message he wanted to deliver. I pondered over his words, it was not something new, but somehow it felt so. His connection with Grandpa felt new.


    Was I hurting Grandpa with being sad, depressed? I questioned to myself.


    "Are you alright, sweetheart?" Eshan asked as his hands resumed their work.


    "I don''t know," I mumbled as I lifted my face from his neck.


    He wiped my face before he held me near his heart. "Shh... don''t cry Innaya," Eshan requested as he patted my head.


    I couldn''t help but vent my emotions in the safety of his arms.


    "After... after that woman... it hurt me so much... I was losing myself... I used to sit idle for hours... like there was nothing remaining... Grandpa pulled me out of that dark hole... He was my best friend... He made me what I am today... he... I miss him... I miss him..." I hiccuped and let my emotions take over, explaining part of my past.


    For some odd reasons, I couldn''t help but snuggle more into him. It was as if he was becoming a solace for my restless soul, where I wanted to pour everything to him.


    *(Flashback ends)


    The door opening brought me out of my memory lane of last week when Eshan had kept a new perspective in front of me. I glanced briefly at the clock, that read eight-thirty in the evening. I stood up adjusting the crumpled Sari before I looked up, only to gasp in a shock.

 Chapter 38 - I want to sleep and without you... I cant!

    |Innaya|


    "Oh God, you are soaking wet. What happened?" I asked as I rushed to assist Eshan.


    I almost faltered in my steps, my worried heart going in overdrive with anxiety.


    Eshan walked in holding his laptop bag and coat in one hand, he was drenched from head to toe as if he stood below the shower with his clothes on. His clothes were sticking to his body as water that dripped from his body, made a little pool of water where he stood.


    It wasn''t raining outside, was it?


    "Nothing-" His words were cut off as he sneezed loudly and repeatedly.


    "God bless you! You are sneezing," I stupidly remarked as I took things from his hand. He ran his hand through his wet hair, making water drops fall everywhere, including me.


    "Thanks for noting the obvious," Eshan playfully retorted before he sneezed again.


    "Hurry up, go take a hot shower and I will arrange dinner as well as make a hot soup for you. Go hurry up," I pushed him towards our room, worried for his health as I wiped the fallen water from my face.


    "Okay," he nodded before he sneezed again. He was at the bottom of stairs when he abruptly turned and called out, "Sweetheart, I will just have a soup, nothing else."


    I frowned but then nodded and rushed towards the kitchen to fix him some soup and some boiling water for steam.


    *


    I put the bowls in a tray and after covering the bowls with lids, I made my way towards our room. Thankfully, Eshan had kept the door of the bedroom open. I made another trip to bring the remaining bowls and water.


    I arranged everything on the table and till the time I finished, Eshan emerged out of the bathroom, freshly showered and changed into a cotton white shirt and black mid-rise joggers.


    "Are you okay?" I couldn''t help but ask as soon as I saw the tiredness on his face.


    "Stop worrying Tesoro. I am fine. It''s Mumbai and raining is the common occurrence." Eshan assured while wiping his hair with the towel. He smiled before he joined me on the sofa.


    I handed him his soup before I stood up from my place and walked behind the sofa. "Hmm... Let me," I urged, taking the towel from his hands.


    Eshan leaned back as I started wiping his hair dry with the help of the towel.


    "Have your soup first otherwise it will get cold," I gently push him ahead while continuing my work. Like an obedient child, he obliged but in a midway, he tugged at my hand and I had to comply with his unsaid order of having my soup too. Thankfully, his hair had dried by then. We finished our soup with small conversations. I did most of them because he wanted to listen to me.


    In-between Eshan had sneezed, so once we were done, I brought the bowl of hot boiling water from downstairs. I added few drops of eucalyptus oil in it before I asked him to take a steam.


    Nowadays he was being more on the refusing and childish side. So how would he agree so easily?


    "I am alright Innaya, no need of doing this," Eshan protested.


    There. He said it but I knew better than to agree. His sneezing hadn''t reduced a bit.


    If you want to be stubborn Mr. Husband, then I am no less. You haven''t seen it yet.


    I took a new towel from the cupboard and literally forced him to take the steam as I covered him and bowl by the towel.


    Once he finished taking steam, I gathered up everything and took it downstairs. I did the dirty dishes and cleaned everything in the kitchen. I switched off the lights after locking all the doors properly.


    Eshan was lying in the bed with his hand over his eyes and had switched off the AC. I thought to check on him first before changing.


    "Better?" I asked after I joined him on the bed. I sat with my back resting against the headboard and stretched out my legs in front of me.


    However, I was completely baffled when Eshan turned abruptly and buried his head in my lap. I stilled, for a second there, I forgot to breathe as he snuggled more into me and wrapped his hands around me. His hairs tickled part of the skin of my stomach as I had pinned my pallu after plating on my shoulder.


    Why I had to wear a saree today? I groaned to myself. Because last week Eshan had complimented you saying, you look beautiful in saree and he had never seen you wearing them. In addition, your dear husband bought this sari. My consciousness mocked me.


    "My head hurts," Eshan''s mumbled and that brought me out of my self-conversation.


    "Do... do you want me to bring medicine?" I stuttered as the completely new sensation took over my whole being.


    "Uhu..." he denied tilting his slightly. His eyes were dropping and the pained expression covered his face.


    "Umm... shall I apply balm to your forehead and give a massage?" I asked after a moment of silence.


    "Hmm... Please."


    I nodded and tried detangling myself from his hold, only to have him deny, and clung tighter.


    How was I going to get the balm, if he did not leave me?


    Sighing, I let my fingers slip in his silky, smooth hair and started gently massaging his scalp. Why was he behaving this way, was beyond my understanding. Leaning little, I massaged his neck and shoulders, hoping to provide him some relief. Gauging from his relaxed facial features, I could say, I was doing a good job.


    Thankfully, his sneezing had stopped. He turned and I thought he was moving away but he just turned on his back with his head still on my lap. I massaged his forehead. He was on the verge of falling asleep. I stared at his face, taking in all the minute details in the account. Before I could stop myself, I was leaning and before I knew, I had placed my lips on his forehead.


    Eshan''s lips curved in a smile before he rolled away from me and tugged me until I was lying beside him.


    "Eshan I have to change," I whispered even though I obliged to his wish.


    "Let it be. I want to sleep and without you... I can''t," Eshan mumbled sleepily and trapped me in his arms. He kept his head on my shoulder and put my hand in his hair, asking me to run my fingers through them. However, he did not realize what he was doing to me. Hell, I did not realize what was happening to me.


    His hand that had slid under my sari and draped across my stomach as well as, the feel of his warm body, so impossibly close, was doing something to me I had no idea of. I blushed deeply as he cuddled me as if I was some teddy bear for him. I had no other way to get up or rather had no heart of leaving him or his embrace. While running my fingers through his hair, at some part of the night, I fell asleep with his peaceful sleeping face on my mind.


    *


    I walked to our bedroom with the tray of our tea. What is the need of going to work when he clearly wasn''t keeping well? From the time, we woke up around nine in the morning, why he has to insist on working. I groaned internally.


    He was getting ready for the work while sneezing frequently. His forehead had felt feverish in the morning but the stubborn man didn''t let me check for temperature nor did it by himself.


    "Eshan, please take a day off. I think you should rest for today," I huffed angrily as I placed the tray on the coffee table.


    "Sweetheart, I would have agreed anytime, however, sadly today I would have to deny you. I can''t take off today. I have an important meeting to attend in the afternoon. It''s really very important," Eshan answered as he adjusted his tie around his neck. His charcoal coloured suit with the white shirt underneath complimented his physique beautifully yet the tiredness on his face was clearly visible.


    "Eshan-"


    He sat beside me as I forwarded him his cup of tea before he interrupted me, "I understand you are worried for me and I also do not want to worry more. I am fine; it was just a common cold, nothing else."


    "Don''t stress yourself anymore; I will try to come back as soon as possible. I won''t take much longer. I will return before three and I''ll call you after every hour," he added as he cupped my face once he finished his tea.


    "Hmm?"


    I sighed. I couldn''t win in this argument.


    "Fine, don''t exert yourself and don''t eat outside food. I have packed lunch for you," I commanded. I raised my hand when Eshan was about to deny, adding, "No, don''t refuse now. I know you will be back soon but I want you to have something, last night also you did not eat much and this morning too. We will visit the doctor when you return okay?"


    He sneezed before he dramatically bowed. "As you say my highness, now give me your beautiful smile."


    I smiled as I accompanied him to his car.


    He hugged me before he placed a kiss on my forehead. "Ok bye, now I''ll leave."


    "Shh... say I will return back," I admonished him as unknowingly fear gripped my heart.


    Eshan shook his head as I gave him a disapproving look. "I will return back, as soon as possible Tesoro," he smiled as he patted my cheek fondly. He left but not before taking me in brief hug once again and dropping another kiss on my forehead.


    *

 Chapter 39 - Hospitalised

    |Innaya|


    I restlessly paced in the living room, glancing every now and then towards the door and my mobile. Eshan had said, he would return before three and it was almost seven now. Where was he?


    ''Is he ok? Why his mobile is not reachable? Where has he gone leaving office in afternoon itself?'' Different questions, situations swirled in my mind as I tried Eshan''s number for the umpteenth time. I groaned to myself as the operator repeated the same tape of his mobile being switched off.


    I should not have let him leave in the morning. Should I call his friends?


    There was strange unsettling feeling brewing in my heart and for some unknown reasons, it wouldn''t let me breathe properly. I searched for Arjun''s number, hoping he would know about Eshan whereabouts.


    I found it within few seconds.


    My mobile started ringing suddenly with an unknown number when I was about to call to Arjun. ''Who is it? Is it Mr. Roy?'' No, he wouldn''t know this number. It must be Eshan or I was atleast hoping it to be him.


    "Hello, Eshan?" I inquired hurriedly with the thudding heart. Only if I knew what awaited at the other end. I staggered backward as I listened to the woman at the other end. Tears gathered in my eyes and I felt my throat clogging up with the rush of emotions. The call was disconnected long back and yet I stood still as if someone had frozen the time. I couldn''t think, I couldn''t react.


    *


    With trembling hands, I opened the door we were directed to. If it was not for Ayush''s firm hold around me, I would have long ago crumbled on the floor or worse would not have made to the current place.


    A sudden sob left my mouth as I took in the unconscious figure lying on the bed with the drip attached to his body. He looked pale than the morning. I was vaguely aware of Ayush leading me near the bed and making me sit on the stool before I clutched the bed for support.


    "Mrs. Singhaniya, your husband is fine now; he will gain his conscious in about an hour." I looked up through my blurry vision towards the person I had not noticed until then, smiling politely at me. I assumed through his appearance that the middle age man was the doctor treating Eshan as he had a stethoscope in his one hand and he had donned the white coat. He adjusted his spectacles on his face before he wrote something on the file he had in his other hand.


    "What happened to him, Doctor?" I stood up mustering every ounce of my courage, asking him about what exactly happened that Eshan was laying here in such a condition. My throat was choking with all emotions I felt at that moment and my anxiety was increasing with every passing second.


    The woman who had called me earlier was the receptionist at the city hospital. She informed me that they had Eshan admitted to their hospital. Apparently, he had passed out on the highway and someone brought him to hospital.


    "His blood pressure had lowered and he was having a high fever. I think he hasn''t had enough fluid that was also the reason he fainted. We have taken his blood samples for test. Let''s wait till reports arrive." The doctor answered checking Eshan''s pulse.


    My head snapped at that, though I was talking with the doctor yet my gaze was fixed on my husband. I lifted my gaze towards the Doctor, crossing my fingers in process praying to the God.


    "You said report, anything...anything serious Doctor?" My heartbeat fastened, sweat beads started forming on my forehead. Even the thought of something bad happening to him was causing an ache in my heart.


    The doctor smiled in assurance. "Nothing Serious Mrs. Singhaniya, it''s just precautionary. We have talked to your family doctor, Mr. Sharma, to take Mr. Singhaniya''s medical history. Mr. Singhaniya''s friend was here, she gave us Mr. Sharma''s and your number."


    Friend? Who? Different questions were ready to crowd my brain but it was not important now.


    "Thank you very much, Doctor," I said, genuinely expressing my gratitude.


    Ayush walked with the doctor outside the room, leaving me with unconscious Eshan. I pulled the stool nearer to his bed. Then deciding otherwise, I sat beside him. Tears welled up in my eyes as I took in his frail form. Suddenly, he looked pale, very pale, and weak. I could not move, I could not think as if I lost my ability of thinking. I reached for his hand and clasped mine with his. His skin felt feverish against my cold one.


    How I wished I had never let him go in the first place. Nothing would have happened then. Why? What was so important? It was my entire fault, how could I be so ignorant? Even after witnessing his condition last night, I had allowed him to leave, only if I had insisted more and stopped him. How could I be so careless? What kind of a wife was I? Careless?


    "Eshan...Why do you defy me? Why?" I clamped on my lower lip hard with my teeth, to prevent sob escaping through it. I rested my forehead on our joined palms, closing my eyes.


    What if something else, had happened to him? What if... My blood ran cold at the slightest possibilities of what ifs. My resolve of staying strong, crumpled like a heap of cards. I hugged him as I let loose of my emotions and cried on his chest, letting out all the pent-up anxiety, frustration, pain, hurt, and every single emotion I went through for the whole day. My cries were muffled because of the fist I had on my lips and the way I had clamped my teeth.


    All the time of our togetherness flashed before my eyes, doubling my guilt and pain. He had been there with me on every step, fulfilling everything before I had even asked for it.


    What I gave back to him? I brought him to the hospital. That reality made me cry harder and tears continuously escaped my eyes. The realization of how much attached I am to him hit me like a thunderbolt. How badly I craved for his voice, his presence, his attention, his assurance, and most importantly him, throughout the day, struck me hard.


    Lost in my own agony, I would have missed the movement below me if not for the sudden hiss of pain. Abruptly I pulled myself from Eshan. His eyes were shut. Did I not hear properly?


    I stared at his face, hoping he would just wake up. Then it happened. His fingers twitched and his eyes fluttered before he opened them and closed them next moment. This time he slowly opened his eyes, adjusting to the sudden light.


    I wanted to call him, ask him about his well-being but I couldn''t.


    "Innaya?" He looked at me in confusion. "Where am I?"


    "Hey." Eshan tugged at his hand I had clutched in my hold, near my heart.


    He tugged at my lower lip once I released his hand; the stinging pain brought me back of whatever trance I was lost in.


    "Is it hurting?" He pressed his thumb at the corner of my lips.


    "Huh?" I stared at his face not knowing what he was asking.


    "Your lip... It''s bleeding."


    I darted my tongue and traced the corner, surely, I tasted the blood.


    "Don''t cry, Tesoro. It''s alright. I am alright," Eshan tried assuring but his weak voice told the other story.


    I straightened my back and stood up, leaving his hold reluctantly. I wiped my face clean with the red Kashmiri stole around my neck.


    "I''ll call the doctor." I turned and almost ran out of the room ignoring his calling. How would I face him? The guilt and disappointment resurfaced as soon as I stood out of his room. I closed my eyes as I breathed deeply.


    "Are you alright?" The sudden touch on my shoulder and the concerned voice had me tilt my head in the direction of the owner.


    I nodded my head at Ayush. "Eshan is awake; could you please call the doctor?" I requested him and he left after nodding.


    I just couldn''t face Eshan right now. Not with the mind frame, I was in. I wanted to lash at him, scold him, and hit him, for putting me in this condition and at the same time, I wanted to apologize for being responsible for his this condition.


    I collapsed on the bench beside me, with my head in my hands. I did not understand what was happening anymore. Tears gathered in my eyes again. Why was I being so emotional?

 Chapter 40 - Ayushs anger and Eshans guilt!

    |Eshan|


    I felt the pain as if someone punched me in my guts and stabbed me repeatedly with the knives without any mercy as Innaya''s tear stricken face flashed in front of my eyes. Her chocolate brown eyes were filled with tears and she assaulted her lip brutally, only to control herself from shattering.


    She left just like that, without even letting me apologize or explain. ''God! How much I hate myself for putting her through this.'' I closed my eyes in despair.


    I should have listened to her but the meeting was scheduled long ago and was very important. If only I knew, that this could stretch so long and I would land in the hospital, I would have done everything to avoid it. I did not regret going to that meeting, as it was not professional but personal. Delay for it could have cost me a lot, not as if it wasn''t costing me anything now, it did, Innaya''s tears.


    Making her cry was the last thing I wanted to do, ever. She didn''t know what her tears does to me, they grip my heart and leave me with never ending agony of their scorching heat.


    I turned my head towards Ayush, who had entered with the doctor after Innaya had left. "Where?" I inquired to Ayush who stood silently beside my bed while the doctor was checking me.


    Ayush ignored me completely. He asked the doctor regarding dos and don''ts, alongside many questions about health and discharge. Once the doctor left, Ayush busied himself with his phone without paying any attention to me. I could understand his anger but it was not the time for that, I wanted to see Innaya, badly.


    "Innaya?" I tried once again, unable to handle the heavy feeling in my heart. I hissed as the sudden sharp pain shot in my arm, where they had pierced needle in my skin for the drip.


    Ayush strode towards me holding my hand, halting my movements. "Careful."


    "Where is Innaya?" I didn''t care if I sound desperate but I needed her.


    I needed to see her and explain. It wasn''t her fault. I saw the guilt and self blame in her eyes and she needed to know that it wasn''t her mistake. If there was anyone to held responsible, then it was me.


    "Home," Ayush replied monosyllabically, glaring at me.


    "You aren''t going to be discharged until morning, so she went to fetch some clothes and food for you. She went with Arjun," he extended, maybe, because he saw the devastated look on my face.


    Ayush occupied the stool near my bed, pulled his damn phone, and engrossed himself in it. His jaw was clenched and I could see how his fingers were furiously working on his mobile. I could literally feel the anger surrounding him.


    I closed my eyes before I let out a sigh of defeat. Ayush was the calmest and understanding person amongst five of us, and it was very rare for him to get angry over something. However, I knew this time his anger was justified and because he cared for Innaya as much as Arjun cared. Though he had not met her, that much or talked to her as Arjun did but he had a special and important place for Innaya in his heart.


    "Go on." Only those two words were required for Ayush to unleash his fury.


    "You moron, when you know you can''t handle being drenched, then why the hell you did that? Forget that. Who am I talking to? Nothing goes in that dense rock head you got there. I understand your fetish for rain but why now? You have Innaya. Why don''t you understand that you have her responsibility? " He paced in front of my bed, occasionally shooting daggers in my direction.


    "She is distressed because of this stunt you pulled on her. You donkey, monkey, pig. Do you know how hard it was for her? I feared she would pass out because of how worried and scared she was. No, she is, she is scared, worried... terrified to be precise. Couldn''t you stay at home for one day?" Ayush nearly shouted in the end before he took deep breaths to control himself.


    His words only added more to my guilt.


    I lowered my head in shame.


    "It was important," I mumbled not because I was terrified or something, but I felt difficult to speak as my thoughts circled around pain I gave to Innaya, unknowingly. Tears gathered in my eyes but I blinked them back.


    Ayush slumped on the stool. "Tell me honestly Eshan, was it more important than her?"


    I looked away, avoiding his questioning gaze. I did not want to continue this discussion with him at least not right now, when all I was thinking about being with Innaya.


    "When is she coming back?" I asked impatiently cutting the tense silence in between us.


    "She isn''t."


    My eyes snapped at that. ''What? Why? Why wasn''t she coming back? Is she that angry? Is she so upset?''


    "Ayush, please don''t try my patience. I am already having a terrible headache, don''t make it bad." I was on the verge of pleading to him for bringing Innaya to me.


    "You deserve it. Why make life miserable? Sometimes even after being your best friend, I don''t get you." Ayush commented before he exited the room, leaving me all alone to deal with my own depressing thoughts.


    I glanced at his retreating back with remorse in my eyes. Nobody would understand the reason behind my actions but honestly, I don''t regret doing what I did. Even if someone were to rewind time, I would still have chosen to attend that meeting. Only difference, that I would have informed Innaya beforehand and would have taken better care of myself.


    However, the moment I closed my eyes, Innaya''s pale face flashed in my mind and I couldn''t help but curse myself for her current condition.


    *


    More than your tears, your silence hurts,


    My heart aches and feels the burns,


    How I wish to rewind the time,


    Yet I am helpless because of my crime,


    I am the sole reason behind this whole mess,


    I am the reason you lost that smile from your face...


    I am the reason you lost that smile from your face!

 Chapter 41 - Congratulations and celebrations, we are so happy would be a mother.

    |Innaya|


    Clueless...


    It was the state whole situation left me in. I did not mean to eavesdrop on their conversation but it happened eventually. The doctor after leaving the room had forgotten to close the door and that only resulted in me accidentally listening to whatever conversation or rather argument going inside.


    I could clearly sense the longing and desperation in Eshan''s voice as he inquired about me. His friends had grown fond of me and why would they stood up for me, or care about me more than Eshan, was beyond my understanding.


    If it was Arjun, I would have understood but Ayush, taking my side was surprising. Why would he lie to Eshan? If Eshan knew that he gets sick after drenching in rain then why would he get drench in the first place? What was so important to him?


    The sound of the door slamming shut pulled me out of my reverie. Ayush sat beside me on the bench sighing loudly.


    "He is fine. Don''t worry."


    I nodded silently, relief washing over me like a first rain.


    "You don''t want to meet him?" Ayush asked when I sat instead of moving inside.


    Was I ready to face him? Maybe staying away would be better for time being but I would like to know why Ayush lied to Eshan. With that thought in my mind, I had just started my question, "Why would you¡ª" when Ayush stood up abruptly with his jaw almost hanging open.


    I followed the suit and stood up; turning behind to check up on what had instigated such reaction from him. "What the-"


    I stared wide-eyed at the commotion happening in front of me. Sahil, Barun, and Sameer held a big bouquet of red roses in their hands along with some shopping bags and Arjun had the big teddy bear of almost of half of his size in a combination of pink, cream and blue colour with him. What surprised or rather shocked me most was the identical biggest grin, all of their faces held.


    ''Am I hallucinating?''


    That question was cleared as all of them approached with quick strides and Arjun engulfed me in a bear tight hug.


    "Congratulations!"


    "Congratulations, sister-in-law!"


    "Let me congratulate her, Arjun."


    I suddenly felt dizzy, unable to comprehend anything and moreover, not having anything from the morning was taking a toll on me along with all the tension of the whole day.


    "Leave her, you dumb head." Ayush pulled me away from Arjun and briskly guided me somewhere, promptly asking me to sit down as he passed the bottle of water to me. Everything occurred so hurriedly that I had no time in registering anything.


    "You okay?" Ayush asked once I gulped down the content of bottle that was orange juice not water to my utter surprise. I sighed as I closed my eyes to gather my senses together.


    "What happened to her?" I heard Eshan''s concerned voice and some rustling sound.


    "Don''t get up, she is alright."


    I looked up to see Ayush rushing to Eshan''s aid who was struggling to get up.


    Sameer placed his bouquet beside me on the sofa that I realized I was sitting on before he walked towards Eshan. "What happened to you? Buddy, why are you all hooked up?"


    "Excuse me?" Ayush asked what I wanted to.


    I wondered why would he ask this, weren''t they here to meet Eshan and aware about his condition?


    "Oh, I get it. I have heard that it is a woman who suffers from dizziness, fainting, vomiting, but never heard of a man going through the same. God, you are like the eighth wonder," Sahil announced enthusiastically.


    What the hell? Had he lost his mind?


    "Did you hit your head somewhere?"


    Exactly my thoughts, thank you Eshan.


    "Shut up. Let us do this properly." Barun interrupted.


    Sameer walked back and picked up the bouquet, followed by Sahil and Barun. They all stood in front of me forwarding all the bouquets towards me. Sahil gave annoying look to Arjun who had silently occupied the corner and was watching everything with amusement. Once he noticed Sahil''s gaze, he too joined them with that adorably cute teddy bear.


    What the hell? Had they all lost their mind? For the love of the God, I couldn''t understand what was happening. Why were they behaving so weirdly? Instead of being concerned for Eshan, all of them were hovering over me like honeybees as if I was some sort of sweet nectar for them. Dumbfounded I stared each of their faces one by one.


    "Congratulations and celebrations, we are so happy would be a mother."


    They almost sang in chorus with so much enthusiasm that I almost forgot what they said until I heard the shocked gasp that came from Eshan.


    "Congratulations sister-in-law. Thank you for this wonderful news," Sameer said, handing me that bouquet. Sahil and Barun did the same.


    "Thank for giving me my very own niece or nephew," Sahil remarked holding my hands in his, with the childlike enthusiasm.


    ''Are they for real? Pregnant and me? Which biology class they took? Eshan and me, we didn''t kiss yet and they are believing I am going to give them niece or nephew, like seriously.''


    The cold water that landed straight on all five of us followed by the shout had me cringing back.


    "YOU MORONS-"


    Ayush held back the fuming Eshan before he could hurt himself, "What nonsense you all are sprouting. No one is pregnant here."


    At his declaration, which I was thankful for, I heard collective gasps from the trio- that excluded Arjun.


    "What?" Sameer glared at Ayush as if he lied.


    "Ayush told us-" Barun trailed off, looking at Arjun in the end.


    "I am not getting my niece or nephew." Sahil looked heartbroken with this revelation and I couldn''t help but feel little sad at his fallen expression.


    Arjun casually placed the teddy bear beside Eshan''s feet on his bed before he pulled me back on the sofa, draping his hand across my shoulder. He accessed all of us with the serious expression before he busted out in loud laughter, with the only difference that no one joined him. I shrugged his hold from my shoulder and stood beside Ayush near Eshan''s bed.


    Only Arjun knew what was going on, and only he was the one who was having time of his life because no one else found it amusing.


    I lifted my gaze towards Eshan''s who had murderous look in them, that softened immediately as our eyes met. His brown eyes turned remorseful and he had guilty expression itched all over his face.


    Why was he guilty?


    "Mind explaining before I am forced to admit you in the mental ward of this very own hospital." Ayush tapped his feet impatiently on the ground, with his hands folded near his chest as he glared at Arjun who by then had sobered up.


    "Yes, I will but not now, you will have to wait for a while as visiting hours are over long ago and extended limit we were given is now ending. Only one person is allowed to stay here, even if it is a special room. So people, can you make it fast? Eshan needs rest and he has to eat his dinner too. One more thing I am staying here so Ayush you go home."


    "You aren''t making any sense."


    We all agreed to Sameer. Indeed Arjun wasn''t making any sense.


    Most importantly, what did he mean by, he would be staying here? Wasn''t it obvious I would stay with Eshan if only one person was allowed to stay? Did Eshan ask him that?


    I nervously glanced at Eshan to find him frowning at the wall as if he was in some sort of trance. I fisted my fingers tightly, as I fought to not to shed tears but it was proving impossible with each passing second. His sudden indifference caused my heart to clench painfully.


    What was happening to us?


    *

 Chapter 42 - It is my responsibility of chasing your demons away and I would.

    |Innaya|


    "First thing- you are not staying here." My head whipped in the direction of Eshan, as those words fell out of his lips. It took me some time to believe, that he refused having Arjun stay. The feeling that he did not want me, went away as soon as it came as his words registered in my mind and instead something overpowered my senses, hope.


    "Second thing, you are explaining right this instant, what made you lie regarding something that is, so beautiful and precious... I did not expect this from you Arjun. Why would you play with their feelings?" Eshan''s eyes were so furious that for a moment I was scared.


    "Play?" Arjun mocked, his eyes turning hard as he glared Eshan. "Why did I need to play with anyone''s feeling? You have mastered in that department, haven''t you?" he spat those words furiously.


    "And, what did you say- hmm, I remember. You did not expect this from me. So tell me Mr. Eshan Singhaniya, what do you expect from me? Tell me honestly, we all want to know, right guys?" However, his voice was calm, but the clenching of his jaw, and the way his fists were clenching, anyone could say he was far from being calm.


    Eshan lowered his eyes as guilt flashes in them before he turned his head in opposite direction. I looked up to others only to witness some sort of understanding crossing over their faces. I couldn''t understand, why was Arjun blaming Eshan. It wasn''t like, he fell ill on his own, anyone could fell ill. Why no one was stopping or interrupting Arjun?


    "Arjun, can we please do this later, please. Eshan needs rest." I requested, upon noticing Eshan''s tired face and the conversation was not going anywhere. Honestly, my mind was not ready for more stress, or drama.


    Ayush dragged unwilling Arjun from the room, who struggled in Ayush''s hold. Sameer, Barun and Sahil too left behind them but not before they all shared a look with Eshan. I couldn''t decipher the look exactly, it was close to disappointment but their eyes held concern too, for Eshan. I felt awkward not knowing about what just transpired between Eshan and his friends.


    I just stood there, not knowing what to do. I should have left when I had time. I had no courage of looking at him without feeling utterly emotional. Somehow, he always managed to bring the rapid change of emotions within me.


    "Innaya."


    I looked down at my feet unable to meet his eyes. I couldn''t decipher myself, what was I feeling. Somehow, I held myself responsible for not looking after him. Anything could have had happened to him because of his carelessness and somewhat mine too.


    "Innaya." Eshan''s voice dropped a notch below and it was almost desperate for my attention. It pained me physically to hear the hurt in his voice.


    "Ahhh." His anguish cry had my full attention. I was by his side as soon as Eshan being in pain registered in my mind.


    "What happened? Are you in pain? Let me call the doctor." Frantically, I bombarded him with the questions, simultaneously, checking for the reason of his pain. His left hand that was free of IV came to rest on mine on his cheek. He entwined his fingers with mine from back and brought it closer to his lips before pressing his lips on inside of my palm.


    "Shh... I am fine as now that you are talking to me." He smiled as he gazed at me with relief.


    He faked it. How could he? He was amusing himself on the expense of my plight. Oh, right! It was his revenge for all the distress, he felt due to me. What a way to get back at me, for something, which was not in my hand. My temper increased as the thoughts started piling one by one in my mind.


    "How could you? Do you think this is some sort of joke? Oh, now I get it, you are doing this to take revenge on me because you think that I made you worried knowingly. You think all those episodes, nightmares were my way of gaining your attention. Oh, God! You... you think I am... liar. I... am liar..." I chocked on my own words as the harsh realization slapped me brutally. I tried pulling my hand back from his hold. It became extremely painful to stay in the company of the man who I had assumed to be the one to understand my unsaid words and emotions and yet here we were, the reality was more than hard to digest.


    The hot tears stung in my eyes but I held them, not wanting to shed them in his presence. I doubled my efforts of removing his hold on my palm only to get him tighten his hold.


    "Quiet." His voice boomed in the empty room. With a one powerful pull from him, I almost landed heavily on his chest if not for my other hand that held my weight above him. I refused to be close with him and struggled to get away from him. He left my palm for a split second, only to pull me back on his chest wrapping his arm around my back almost caging me by his only one arm. My struggle instantly ceased as my eyes landed on the needle inserted in his skin. I would never want to cause him slightest of pain. I closed my eyes tightly holding back the tears that were so close to start falling.


    "Let me go please." At this point, I did not care if my voice started sounding desperate of helpless. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry out all the pain in my heart, far away from him.


    "Innaya, if you are angry on me, then take it out but not this. I won''t hurt you- never, please, I am sorry. I am truly sorry sweetheart." His apology broke my heart once again. He sounded so sincere and I knew he was being honest. Deep down, I knew, he would never hurt me, at least not intentionally. My past did make me apprehensive of trusting people or new relationships but I never felt that with Eshan.


    "Now you will listen to me carefully, without making a sound and without trying to run away." His command left no room for further argument, not that I was going to put up a fight when my one move could hurt him.


    "First of all, I don''t think you are liar because for the fact I know you are not." He stressed on last three words proving his point. "You don''t need to do anything to gain my attention because the day you accepted me, you had and have all my undivided attention. I have every right to worry about you, the very same you have that right over me."


    My heart skipped a beat as the weight of his words dawn on me. How could he so simply say something like this and even remain calm? I downright accused and insulted him and yet here he was instead of getting angry was being patient.


    "I admit. I want to know about it. However, I want to make you comfortable enough that you, yourself, will share everything with me. Forcing you or avenging would be the last thing I would do ever to anyone and would never do with you. You are my wife not some criminal to interrogate. You my beautiful wife, you are my life and everything that concerns you, it concerns me as well. It is my responsibility of chasing your demons away and I would. You just need to let me in. You get me?"


    The damn tears broke free from their restraints and flowed mercilessly from my closed eyelids. His words hit the deep chord of my heart and had me feel more remorseful of my earlier actions. The rusty metallic taste made me realised that I had bitten hard on my lip at the very same point unconsciously.


    "Shh... I am here. Stop crying, sweetheart."


    I broke into another sob at his pained voice. Eshan brought his hand towards my chin and raised my tear stricken face for his eyes.


    "Don''t cry please." He shook his head before he wiped the tears from my face.


    "I am sorry." That came out almost breathless.


    Eshan caressed my cheek tenderly; his eyes visible softened but were apologetic as he spoke, "Don''t be. I know you were worried about me and this atmosphere of hospital must have taken toll on you. You should go home. I know you hate hospitals. I am truly sorry for everything."


    He was right about me hating hospitals but I did not want to leave him. I had forgotten about my dislike towards hospital and remembered only when he mentioned. Even in his discomfort, he was thinking about mine comfort. How did I get so lucky?


    The sound of door opening had me straighten in my position. I hurriedly wiped my face and stood beside his bed when Eshan reluctantly loosened his hold.


    "I just brought the doctor to make sure¡ª that troublemaker husband of yours, is good and we can take him home." Arjun announced as he walked in followed by rest of the guys and the doctor. We stood in silence as the doctor did his work.


    My eyes though were trained on Eshan, I just couldn''t take out the conversation we just had. How understanding he was being and was wonderfully handling everything, even me.


    I could see why Grandpa was so sure about him, about us.


    I could finally see why Grandpa was so sure about him, about us

 Chapter 43 - Lost...(1)

    |Innaya|


    The traffic seemed endless as I glanced out of the glass wall from where I sat in the cafe. There were people on the sidewalk, coming and going away, unaware of their surrounding, lost in their own world.


    Just like Eshan of these days, my mind reminded. Something was not right with him, with us. From the time, we returned from the hospital, he was not his usual self. It was as if he was - guilty and trying to hide something. I had tried recalling each and everything from last one month, to decipher the reason for his sudden closed-off behaviour but could not. For the first few days, I blamed it upon his sickness but from last two weeks that excuse was not good enough.


    The strained relationship between Eshan and his friends also had me worried. They too had remained busy and Arjun and Eshan had the weird tension whenever we all were together. Something was bothering him and that was bothering me, a lot.


    It was not as if he changed his behaviour towards me. In fact it was the same as earlier. The only difference was, he would stare unconsciously into space when he thought no one was watching.


    Lately, he had a frown marring his handsome face when he would come from the office or would have calls regarding his business.


    However, the most important was his late working hours. He would work till nine when on contrary it was always till six earlier. Even though he held me in his arms when we would sleep, I had sensed his restlessness.


    *(Flashback)*


    We were lying on the bed. Eshan had his arms wrapped around me, my head laid comfortably on his chest. This was our new sleeping position. His slow and steady heartbeat would act as a lullaby for me. His touch would calm and assure me.


    His pale figure on that hospital bed had haunted me for a long time. Moreover, as weird as it may sound, he understood it and unworldly soothed my heart with his solid presence.


    "Eshan, is everything alright at work?" I inquired.


    "Hmm... yes. Don''t worry." He answered but his voice was unsure.


    I turned my head towards his and frowned when I saw the lost look on his face. He had his eyes closed but the worried lines on his forehead were significant. I raised my hand towards his face and caressed his cheek.


    He grabbed my palm from behind by his own, yet he never opened his eyes as if he was scared of something. He squeezed my hand before he brought it to his lips and placed the gentle kiss on it.


    "What''s wrong Eshan?"


    Instead of answering me, he turned us slowly, so that I was lying on my back. He buried his face in my neck and mumbled inaudible nothing.


    I knew it was far from nothing but if he did not want to share then it was his decision to make.


    His actions did not puzzle me, nor does his silence confuse me, but my fear fed on little insecurities and I just prayed that our current situation wouldn''t be the reason for raise of any of those insecurities and the fear they brings along.


    *


    (Flashback ends)


    "Ma''am your coffee."


    The polite voice of the server brought me back to present from my thoughts, which were my companion from last few days. I thanked her and went back to gazing at the door of the cafe and outside.


    I was waiting for my best friend to show up. She had arrived in the Mumbai last week and because of her schedule, we had decided to meet on weekend. Today being the Saturday brought the perfect opportunity but here from past one hour, there was no sign of her.


    My eyes caught the sight of tired Siya making her way inside the cafe. Finally! I sighed in relief. Minutes later, she plopped her body on the chair beside me.


    "Oh God! This awful traffic, I tell you, it''s a headache."


    "What''s wrong?" Siya frowned.


    I remained silent as my eyes remained fixed on the sight of the back of the person standing on the opposite side of the road. The unsettling feeling in my stomach only increased as the familiarity of his identity dawned on me. He turned and I felt my insight churning uneasily.


    What was he doing here?

 Chapter 44 - Lost... (2)

    ||Innaya||


    "What''s wrong with you?"


    I had to move mobile away from my ear, to save my eardrums from damaging. Why she had to scream so loudly? Did she plan to get me deaf?


    "Nothing," I replied, tapping my fingers on the railing of our bedroom''s balcony. It was Sunday, a week after that incident in the caf¨¦. I had been trying to convince myself with numerous possibilities, yet my heart and mind did not believe.


    "Seriously? You want to play dumb with me." Siya''s angry voice did nothing but made me feel guiltier for ignoring her. I sighed heavily.


    Why was I getting upset over something I was not so sure off in the first place?


    ''You just do not want to accept and face the reality.'' That tiny voice spoke in my mind.


    "Siya... it''s nothing." I just wanted to stop this interrogation. There was no need for others to meddle into my matters, even if that was my best friend.


    "Care to explain your sudden departure from that caf¨¦ last week. Also, do explain me the tension lines on your forehead. Don''t you dare lie?" Siya lowered her voice, once she detected the resigned tone of mine.


    I knew this was coming and I had tried hard to avoid this.


    "Innaya, I know something is bothering you. If you are not willing to share it now, then I will not force you. However, do not keep it bottled up. You know what happens when you stress yourself."


    Best-friend. They understand everything.


    "Eshan is treating you well, right? He isn''t hurting you, is he?" She questioned concernedly.


    "I''ll call you later." I disconnected the call before she could say anything.


    Why was she so insistent about inquiring this question? Every time she asked about how he was treating me, why was she so doubtful? I wished I could just somehow read her and Eshan''s mind. The two important people in my life were fully intending to mess up my mind with their behaviour and actions.


    I slid down on the ground clutching the mobile to my chest. I dragged my knees close to my chest and rested my head over them. I couldn''t understand how my life suddenly took drastic turn. Everything was confusing, I had so many questions, and I was not able to find their answers.


    Everything was atleast going well but, now nothing was good. I felt lost with all the recent developments around me. Most importantly they all revolved around one person. Eshan.


    *

 Chapter 45 - Cramps and care

    |Innaya|


    I twisted on the bed to find the comfortable position, yet the pain in my stomach and legs had me hissing. If only sleep could grace me. I usually never had cramps but with the amount of stress these days, it was no wonder.


    "Aah."


    I almost curled myself in a ball as I wrapped my hands around my stomach; somehow hoping pain would disappear magically. However, nothing helped. If only Grandma was here. I would have simply laid in her lap while she would have patted me to sleep after forcing me to drink her home remedies. They always helped. She always helped. I never took medicine for the pain before. I had Grandma and mum, to take care of me.


    I had no energy to walk down to the kitchen and prepare the ginger tea recipe of Grandma. Bringing hot water bag or the pain reliever spray for my legs seemed like the toughest task now, so I just curled into myself more.


    Caught up in the pain and my thoughts, I did not realise when Eshan entered and sat beside me. I wanted to straighten up before he asked anything but I did not have it in me. I was in no mood to talk. He placed his hand on the cover I had almost wrapped myself in, from head to toe. I shrank more into the covers.


    *


    *


    *(Flashback)


    "What the hell? Where is my food and why are you sleeping now. It''s broad daylight, not night. Get up."


    "I-"


    "Don''t make excuses, take a painkiller or something. It''s not a big issue, every woman has periods in life, that doesn''t give you free pass for lazing around. Don''t expect me to babysit you"


    *(Flashback ends)


    *


    *


    *


    I blinked back my tears as that incident flashed in my mind. I should just get up before Eshan said something but I couldn''t move.


    "Here, drink this. It will help you."


    I peeped at him, lifting my head little from my knees and through the cover, expecting annoyance or anger on his face. His honey brown eyes were accessing me with concern; there was no hint of anger or annoyance in them. I nodded in negative, not willing to take whatever he was offering.


    "This will help, trust me."


    He helped me in sitting position and brought the cup near my lips before I could protest. I looked at the cup apprehensively, still not touching it. With his other hand, he kept something on my lower abdomen.


    What? How did he know I needed hot water bag?


    "That''s more of ginger water than tea. It will help you with the cramps. We can see the doctor if you would like." He offered on his own. I silently accepted the cup and took a sip. Perfect! Just like Grandma prepared. I closed my eyes in the bliss with every sip of sweet yet strong hot liquid.


    "Better?"


    I nodded absentmindedly.


    I hissed in pain as I tried stretching my legs little. I had forgotten they were paining too, as well as my stomach.


    "What happened? I guess we should consult the doctor. Wait let me call one-"


    "Eshan relax. I am ok. It''s nothing... I just have little pain in my legs... I''ll be... okay after resting." I stammered in low voice, not knowing how to explain this. His concern touched my heart. How he did everything so perfectly, without me asking him once was actually surprising. It was quite awkward to discuss this with him. Was I embarrassed? I had no idea but I could not meet his eyes.


    "Why don''t you lie down?"


    He was not asking, instead he took the cup from my hands, which I noticed was empty.


    ''Have I drunk it so fast?''


    He picked up the hot water bag. He had pulled covers till my waist earlier, which he removed completely now. I settled back on my back with couple of silent groans. I thought he would leave like usual to his study but he surprised me by sitting near my legs on the bed.


    "What... what are you doing?" My eyes instantly flew to Eshan, who had kept the hot water bag back on my lower abdomen and was holding my legs in his grasp. He held them firmly as I tried pulling them back.


    "I am just tending to my wife''s need and taking care of her. You got problem with that? Even if you have, then don''t think too much. You just rest and let me do my work. Tell me if you need anything. Is it paining somewhere else?"


    "Please, don''t touch my feet." I bit on my lip as the sudden movement caused the sharp pain in my stomach.


    He held my shoulders before pushing me back on pillow. He pinned me with his glare before he resumed his position. "I have said this earlier too; we are equal in this relationship, in each and every aspect. You are my responsibility. You have every right of taking care of me, so do I. You don''t have to feel embarrass or anything about it. Hence sweetheart, relax and try to sleep."


    I could just simply look at him in astonishment. How vast difference was there between mentalities of two men. Why was I thinking about him? I blinked my eyes furiously trying to get rid of those damn tears that came as soon as I thought about him.


    "Don''t cry." Eshan wiped my tears; he was sitting beside me and looking alarmed and apologetic. "Is it paining a lot? Do you need medicine?"


    I shook my head. I gulped the sudden lump in my throat with great difficulty. He patted my head softly and last thing I remembered before falling asleep was the soft look in his eyes.


    *

 Chapter 46 - Stranger Woman... (1)

    |Innaya|


    I woke up to the sound of the mobile ringing. I blindly searched around for my mobile, trying hard to open my sleepy eyes. My hand found the ringing device, which I brought to my ear and answered without seeing the caller id.


    I was amazed at how peacefully I slept without waking up because of the pain in my stomach. Strangely the cramps were reduced and I felt free to move around. My legs weren''t aching much that I''d to stay in bed.


    "Where are you Mister? I am waiting here from half an hour; you said you would be here even before me, then where are you? I sacrificed my dear sleep for you. Be grateful and get your pretty-"


    My sleep instantly flew away as the unfamiliar female voice spoke rapidly from other side. All the thoughts about how good I was feeling instantly turned gloomy. I brought mobile in front of my eyes, only to realize that I was holding Eshan''s mobile.


    "Hello-"


    The line was disconnected even before I could say anything. I stared suspiciously at the blank screen of his mobile.


    Why would she hang on me? Who was she?


    "Sweetheart?" Eshan called from the bedroom door.


    "Huh?" Confused I stared between him and his mobile.


    "Some lady called, saying she is waiting for you," I informed him, forwarding his mobile.


    For a second, I thought I saw look of panic on his face, but it went as fast as it came. "Okay, did you two talk?"


    What type of question was that? How do I talking to that woman make a difference?


    "No, she hanged up after listening to my voice. Who is she Eshan?" I frowned as I recalled her unusual behaviour.


    "She is associate, we are having meeting today. She must be waiting in the office. Actually she is leaving tonight, so we had to reschedule the meeting today," Eshan answered. He was not meeting my eyes. His eyes kept flickering to the ground. I had a feeling that he was not telling me truth. However, the important question was, why would he lie?


    He left the room with his mobile, maybe for calling her back.


    Was Eshan that person I saw last weekend in front of flower shop with some woman? Whom was he meeting? Who was that woman with him? Was she the same person who was with Eshan when that hospital incident happened? The friend that doctor referred.


    Eshan.


    He was the main person because of whom, everything seemed so hard. He made it hard. What was going on with him?


    I was missing on something.


    The important question was, what it was?

 Chapter 47 - Gut Feeling

    ||Innaya||


    I poured tea in two cups and handing him his, I turned towards the kitchen counter. I hoped against hope to get some answers for the questions I had these days. I was never the one for indirect talks, I preferred the direct way.


    "What''s going on?" I started the conversation as I stirred the soup. My gaze flickered towards him just for a moment or two before I focussed my whole attention on preparing the salad.


    "Nothing is going on, why would you think so?" He casually answered before he pushed himself from the wall he was leaning on and walked back to the dining table. He plopped himself on the chair from where we both could see each other.


    "You want to lie to me?" I shot him an unbelievable look, feeling extremely frustrated inside. I breathed deeply before I declared hotly, "Okay, then go ahead and be my guest but have I told you, I hate liars." I turned from him and went to check on the chocolate cookies in the Microwave. If he wanted to lie, he could do as he pleased, just we will not be the way we used to be.


    He sighed heavily and I could hear the tiredness in it. "It''s nothing," he replied after some time.


    "Great. You want to believe me that, you out of all the people. What do you take me for, fool? I might be the one. Considered how everyone is behaving with me, around me." I glared angrily, his face fell, and he lowered his eyes.


    "You look cute with all that flared up tiny nose and those glaring little eyes." Siya Raghav announced her presence with her odd sense of humour.


    "Shut up Siya," I nothing but hissed at her.


    How on the earth she appeared here without any forewarning, was beyond my thinking. She casted a curious glance in his direction as she walked further in, before she plopped herself on the chair opposite to him.


    "Aren''t you supposed to be in your office?" I asked her.


    "Oh, you don''t want me here. Okay, I will take your leave then-"


    I rolled my eyes at her drama. "Shut up, Siya. I was just asking. Have a sit and tell me what you would like to have."


    She shrugged in response. She raised her eyebrows in his direction questioningly. I mentally smacked myself for forgetting about him.


    "Siya meet Arjun Arya, Eshan''s friend." I ignored the hurt that flashed in Arjun''s eyes. When he doesn''t want to be my brother and hide things from me, then why should I be his sister?


    "Hello, I''m Siya Raghav, Innaya''s best friend." Siya introduced herself.


    "Nice to meet you Siya," Arjun smiled at her but I could see it was forced one.


    Siya smiled back at him before she turned completely towards me. I was quite aware of those puppy eyes looking hopefully at me. She wanted something.


    "What do you want?"


    The smile that grew on her face only confirmed my doubts. She sheepishly rubbed back of her neck before she started, "Actually I took a day off as I was hoping you could accompany me to the mall. I might have forgotten some stuff at home."


    "I will drive both of you," Arjun offered before I could say anything.


    "Oh, thank you!" Siya unsurely looked at him and then at me. I nodded reassuringly at her.


    "Ok, we''ll leave after lunch. I''ll just arrange everything," with that being said, I left for kitchen. Thankfully, I had prepared the food for three people- Eshan included, who bailed out on last moment. I was hoping Eshan and Arjun could sort out their differences with some alone time and thus have arranged this lunch.


    However, I guess some things are meant to be sorted out on their own, without any interference.


    *


    Giving instruction to Cab driver to follow that Mercedes, I nervously wriggled my fingers before clasping them tightly. I realised the hasty decision I took of following them was not mature but I couldn''t help. I dropped quick text to Arjun and Siya that I was leaving for home before fixing my eyes on the familiar white Mercedes on the road.


    Spotting Eshan with someone happened for the second time within a week. Why were they both together, was beyond my understanding. He had said he was in meeting. Then what was he doing in the shopping mall? That carefree laughter on his face had my breath hitch in my throat. He looked so enthusiastic while talking. Maybe that was the reason, without giving any thoughts to the consequences, I followed him once I spotted him exiting the shop with that woman.


    Thousands of possibilities swirled in my mind. The same fear of being cheated forced his ugly head, crawling disgustingly on my whole being. The way they were being very close and comfortable had me cringing in displeasure. Yet I tried thinking of all the good moments we had spent together. Maybe it was nothing, maybe I was over thinking. I should not let my past cloud my mind.


    Too lost in my thoughts, I did not notice when the cab came to halt. The driver''s voice brought my attention on the present. I looked outside only to notice we were almost out of the city. How much time had passed? Quick glance at the watch and I realized it was more than two hours drive. Paying him his share, I climbed down only to stumble on my steps.


    The driver had stopped at some distance from Eshan''s Mercedes. Eshan was unloading lots of shopping bags. I still hadn''t seen that woman''s face but judging from her poise posture, open brown wavy hair that reached till her mid back, red cocktail dress and pointed heels, she appeared very beautiful to me.


    I watched them making their way inside through the open gate, still laughing over something. With heavy heart, I followed them. I paid no attention to where I was going. I just walked mechanically. There was that gut feeling, screaming at me- something very wrong was going to happen.


    *

 Chapter 48 - All men are same... Unfaithful cheaters!

    |Innaya|


    How naive of me to think everything was over, my past was going to be past. Alas! Only people changed but the wound was same.


    There stood my husband holding another woman in his arms. A woman, I had no idea about, a woman I never met, a woman who admitted him in the hospital, a woman for whom he brought flowers, a woman for whom he drenched in the rain.


    He loved another woman. Was that the reason he never took our relation to next level? He still loved her.


    .


    .


    .


    ''I''m here to fulfil my promise given to him, his last wish.''


    ''Life has taught me one lesson, everything should happen according to your will is not compulsory, some things are better left to fate. Sometimes what we feel is the wrong for us, turns out to be the righteous one.''


    ''You are my responsibility.''


    .


    .


    .


    Eshan had said that. Did he marry me because of that promise only? Was I nothing more than forced responsibility to him?


    His all friends knew. They knew he had someone in his life and maybe that was the reason they were surprised at our sudden marriage. Ayush''s and Arjun''s behaviour made sense to me now. How stupid of me to be so ignorant. Something broke in me. The gravity of the whole situation was much heavier to handle.


    I couldn''t let the hurt overpower me. I would never let another man ruin my life. I will be damn if I let history repeat itself. I let anger consume me and it was better than being damsel in distress. Grandpa taught me better. My breathing had already started coming in pants and I could see another panic attack setting in, so instead of being vulnerable I used my anger to steer that attack away.


    "So this was your important work... Hmm... I am impressed. You did brilliant job of fulfilling the responsibility. That''s what I am to you, ain''t I?" Words automatically tumbled from my lips almost brokenly- just like my heart.


    They sprang apart from each other as if electrocuted.


    "How could you? How could you do this to me? Huh? I... I thought you cared but... You were pretending." I spat those words, Eshan''s eyes widened in shock. He whispered something in that woman''s ear and handed her keys.


    He had audacity of ignoring me. Before I could hurl any insult or profanities at her, she walked away hurriedly, leaving behind the mess of their affair for me to bear and handle.


    "Innaya-"


    I jerked his hands away that were holding me from going after her. At this point, I was shaking with anger. Tears blinded my vision but I wiped them angrily.


    "You all are same. That was why I never wanted to get married. Yet, I agreed for Grandpa."


    "Look Grandpa. See how good your good boy is." I chuckled in disgust.


    "Innaya-"


    "Innaya died. You killed her."


    The horror on Eshan''s face at my words tugged at my heart. I labelled it under his fright of being caught. I clutched my fingers tightly. I moved away from him, his presence suffocated me. I needed to stay away for my own sanity.


    "Please, let me explain," Eshan pleaded desperately but my mind was far-gone beyond explanation. The image of him, holding another woman in his arms crushed the hope of being wrong.


    "Don''t." I raised my palm upward, stopping him from telling me lies.


    "What you want to explain? How you loved her and yet sacrificed for Grandpa''s last wish. How you couldn''t forget her and decided to rekindle your relationship with her. Wait, did you break up with or you two were together?" My voice dropped a notch low.


    I felt like a horrible person for snatching his love. For the promise he made to my Grandpa, he had to suffer.


    "I don''t love her." Eshan firmly declared. His eyes were pleading me for trusting him, but I couldn''t fall for it.


    I shook my head repeatedly.


    All men are same.


    Unfaithful cheaters!


    He was no different.


    How could Grandpa trust him so blindly?


    "Tell me, for how long this was going on? Was she the reason behind your frequent trips to Mumbai after our marriage? Or was it someone else?" I questioned, looking directly into his eyes.


    "It must have been tough to keep it hidden or was it easy? Was I that easy?" Hot tears gathered in my eyes as all those months of our togetherness flashed one by one in my mind.


    "Oh, God!" I gasped in the horror, the sudden realization of what they were if they weren''t lovers, hit me like tons of bricks. They were together only for-


    physical needs.


    "How could you love someone? All you need is a body, to satisfy your bloody needs. You disgust me Eshan Singhaniya, you disgust me-"


    Like a slow motion, it happened. It was too late for me to realize that I had raised my hand on him. If not for him holding it in the air, I would him slapped him.


    ''No matter what, raising a hand on someone just because you can is wrong. Gender does not matter but an action does, and hitting someone is a big fat no. Assaulting someone is a crime, so always be careful of your actions.''


    Grandpa''s word rang in my head out of nowhere; I stared in shock at my raised hand. How could I forget it?

 Chapter 49 - Instead of being able to break the walls of your past, I broke myself.

    |Innaya|


    "SHUT UP!" Eshan roared so loudly, that it had me shuddering with fright. I blinked my eyes, not being able to recognize the man in front of me. He was not the Eshan, I knew. He was different, he resembled the raged animal at that moment.


    His eyes turned darker with anger, there was hurt, pain, anguish in them, but anger overpowered everything. With jaw clenched in anger and eyes glaring at me with such strong emotions, I tried hard not to cower back in fear.


    I hissed in pain when his grip on my wrist became painfully tight.


    "I am not him. I am not your father. Did you hear me?" Eshan left me with a jerk.


    I staggered backwards on my feet with the force he pushed me. However, before I could fall his hands came on my shoulder blades holding me up.


    He knew about that man. How? Nobody knew about him, Grandpa made sure of it, then how on the earth he got to know about him?


    Eshan chuckled but it had no humour, it was dark, almost painful.


    "You think so low about me, Innaya. How could you? Have I ever given you any reason, to not to trust me? You could have just asked me once, before reaching to your - such high conclusions..." He raked his fingers through his hair roughly.


    "I tried so hard to break those walls of your past, but I failed. I failed myself," he mumbled to himself but I heard it clearly.


    "You know what? I should have never promised Grandpa. I should have never married you. I was better off without you. I have been honest with you from the very first day, when you not even shared a single thing about yourself." Eshan turned away from me, his back towards me.


    He was right but what about his secrecy?


    "All these months, I have been nothing but patient, waiting for you to be comfortable with me, to share your fears with me..." he trailed off, exhaling loudly.


    He abruptly spun on his feet as if realising something. "What did you say? I care about my needs. Huh? Then why you are still untouched, if I am so much of pervert according to you? I should have used my right as husband on our wedding night itself; no one would have stopped me, not even you."


    He stepped forward and instantly I stepped back. I was too stunned to see this side of him.


    "Shall we try that now?" He gripped my forearms before he pulled me near to himself. His eyes blazed with hurt and pain.


    Had I crossed my line? The answer was yes.


    His every word was making me feel guilty, maybe because he was right.


    "Honesty- that was the only thing I demanded from you, remember?"


    Yes, I remembered. It was the only thing, he asked on our first date.


    "Trust is never to be demanded it should be earned. I tried so hard to earn your trust for these 4 months but I guess I was not good enough," he gulped painfully.


    "You expect me to be answerable for every small thing I do, whereas when it comes to you, I must keep quiet. I don''t know what triggers your panic attacks yet, I should only comfort you and keep my mouth shut."


    His every word was cutting my insides and I could only gaze at the floor. Shame filled my whole being.


    What had I done?


    "My friends treat you like part of their family. For you, they are ready to go against me. Yet you believed I was cheating on you, having affair behind your back. They would have killed me, if I were so much to bring tears to your eyes. Whereas you could not even defend me, when so called best friend of yours questioned my intentions."


    I bit back the sob. He was right. If someone failed him, that was me. How did he know about Siya''s doubts?


    "Now don''t blame me for keeping tabs on you. Sahil heard you." Eshan left me again, before he stepped back. He looked so heartbroken, so vulnerable.


    "So much for keeping secrets." He clutched his hair tightly before he turned his furious eyes at me.


    "Yes, you are right. I was hiding something from you. Want to know since when? Hmm, why don''t you guess? From the day, I met you in your bedroom. Nope-" Eshan trailed off.


    I didn''t want to know. I wanted to apologize. He must have an explanation but I messed up. I jumped on the conclusion. However, that wasn''t my fault. The scene, the secrecy, reminded me of the way my father cheated my mom. He did this to me. He made me so insecure. My father ruined the beauty of relationships for me.


    "You want to know? Why don''t I show you what I am hiding? Let me see how much you can handle. You are absolutely right; it was so easy to hide." He had that determined look in his eyes, which promised revealing something I was not aware of.


    "Open your eyes and take a look. Go on look around yourself. Does it remind something?"


    I tore my gaze from his and took in the surrounding. The room we were standing was a living room. The whole room was furnished with the bamboo, right from the sofa set to the racks in the walls. On my right side was the glass sliding door, from the floor to ceiling. It opened in the garden, which was well maintained from what I could see.


    ''This can''t be happening.''


    ''No.''


    ''No. How? God, please don''t make it true.''


    "I will do the honours of unraveling my secrets, so that you can call me some more names. This was my gift to you, for our six-month wedding anniversary- your dream house. The woman you accused me of sleeping with, is architecture and the interior designer. Just the moment before you entered, she tripped on her feet and I was just helping her. All this time, I was busy planning this surprise for you." He raised his hands showing me what he meant.


    I felt so ashamed. My breathing was getting heavier. Guilt was burdening my soul. He was doing everything for me. What did I give him in return? Hurt, Humiliation.


    Before I could apologize or say something, he grasped my elbow and dragged me. We passed some rooms before he pulled me in front of the closed door.


    "How can I love someone right? See is this proof enough." Eshan pointed at the walls.


    I felt someone punched me in my gut and knocked the breath out of me, as I stared at the walls covered with pictures of the very familiar girl. Her chocolate eyes were staring back at me. There were my pictures from my childhood right before to my marriage - taken on different days, at different places. It was like, I was standing in some photo studio, in every direction the frames were hanging on the walls in different sizes, of me. Every photo was taken without my notice; I had no idea about someone following me.


    "I have been in love with this girl ever since I laid my eyes on her. From the last 9 years, I loved her. However, that was not good enough. I was not good enough. It was all mistakes, a very big mistake. I am so done with everything. I am done. Your fears won. Instead of being able to break the walls of your past, I broke myself," his voice held so much grief that brought another set of tears in my eyes.


    I felt my heart racing loudly. My whole body trembled, I held onto the wall for support.


    "Was I spying on you? That''s what you had asked, right?" Eshan once again turned his back on me. I wanted to see him. I needed to hold him. I had to apologize but words failed me. My throat constricted with pain. The black dots started dancing in front of my eyes. It was a matter of a few seconds before my body shut on its own.


    "Yes, but it was my love. Moreover, you were my responsibility. I wanted to confess my feelings to you but I did not want to scare you. I wanted you to accept me on your own, but not anymore. I am sorry for everything. I am sorry for tying you in this relationship. Today, I am freeing you from everything," his voice was distant.


    I stretched my hand hoping to hold him but he was far from my reach. I pushed him too far. It was entirely my fault. Before I lost myself in the darkness, his words cut me like a dagger- deep and fatal.


    "You don''t trust me and without trust, there is no love."

 Chapter 50 - Melancholy

    ||Innaya||


    The dark cloud completely covered the sky, blocking any and every means of light. What started as a slow drizzle, turned into the heavy downpour within a couple of minutes, assaulting everything in its path.


    Melancholy...


    The one single word was enough- to describe the weather as well as a state of my mind and heart.


    I was drenched from head to toe, yet I could not feel anything. My body had grown numb just like my mind. The rain accompanied by heavy wind continued slapping against my skin rather harshly. How I wanted the darkness to swallow me.


    *


    (flashback)


    I closed the balcony door and pulled the curtains over it. It was raining heavily and God knew how much I hated rain. They always brought the bad memories I tried to keep locked.


    That woman had me locked up in the terrace for a whole night in the heavy rain. Thankfully, there was enough shelter to cover my nine-year-old self. The whole night I had kept crying for my mother to take me away from the darkness, loud thunder noises, and cold wind.


    "Sweetheart?" Eshan voice came from behind me. His endearments were growing on me. I was so used to them that I would think something was missing if he did not use them.


    I wiped the tears that escaped reviving that horrible night before I turned to him. Eshan walked to me with the small smile playing on his lips. He stood beside me, slid the curtain away, and opened the door I had just closed.


    "You know what is so good about rainy season?"


    "What''s good about it? It is all wet and muddier everywhere. Not to forget the whole new set of viruses resulting in sickness. Did I mention the gloominess and the scary thunderstorms?" I blurted my distaste for them.


    Eshan''s eyes lingered on my face; I resisted the urge to check my face for any sign of my emotional turmoil seconds ago. He smiled as if he found something he was searching. Circling his arm around my shoulder, he led me in the balcony.


    "It depends upon experience, Tesoro."


    Turning me around so that I was facing the railings, Eshan stood behind me- very close. His hands travelled from my shoulders slowly, until he reached my palm. His fingers found their way in-between space of my own before entwining.


    Breathe- slowly and steadily.


    I repeated in my mind, as I tried not flinching at the sudden sound of thunder followed by lightning.


    "You know, I found rain fascinating when I was sixteen."


    I wanted to turn around to ask what the meaning of that was. His hold kept me from moving. Resting his chin on my shoulder, he squeezed my palm. The warmth of his body surrounded me like a warm blanket and I couldn''t help but lean more into him.


    "Why?"


    "Wrong question," Eshan chuckled near my ear, "moglie(wife)."


    There, it was- his new endearment.


    Sighing, I smiled.


    "Now what is the meaning of that?"


    "Wrong question, again," Eshan whispered.


    "How?"


    "Huh?" I dumbly asked.


    "Later, I will tell you later. Now, close your eyes and focus on the sound."


    "I guess we should sleep," I turned in his arms and he let me. The wind was gaining speed and alongside the rain too. That was not helping me to let aside that night, standing here seem only to make matter worse.


    Concerned, his eyes roamed on my face. His right hand came around my waist while his left palm covered my eyes.


    "We will, but for now- trust me."


    For the fact, I knew he was not going to back away then what was the use. Inhaling sharply, I nodded at him giving in his demand.


    "Imagine yourself in the shower."


    "What the-"


    "Shhh... Imagine yourself below showerhead. Rain is just like the shower, only difference it is the bigger one. The shower helps in refreshing our body and mind and rain does exactly on large scale. It is the way of someone up there, to clean the earth," Eshan paused, letting the information sink in. I did imagine what he was saying. The new perspective was quite refreshing.


    "You just have to embrace it with all your heart then only you can find peace in things you do and around you. So, forget why you dislike it and find something that can actually make it worth your smile. Hmm?"


    I had no idea how but somewhere I felt, he was talking about my fears. He indirectly was comforting me for something he had no inkling about. Moments later, his arms came around me, pulling me into his chest. With my head resting on his chest, I listened to the beating of his heart. I breathed in his fragrance, for the very fast time not caring about the thunder, rain or the memories they brought.


    *


    (flashback ends)*


    How drastically life changed for me. One night I was in his arms trying to forget my fear and tonight I was here facing my fear, which for the first time did not have any effect on me.


    Regret.


    I had the regret of many things in my life but the biggest regret was, blaming the man who loved me unconditionally. The heartbroken expression of Eshan haunted me - day and night from the last one month.


    *


    ''Today I am freeing you from everything.''


    ''You don''t trust me and without trust, there is no love.''


    *


    My legs gave away and I fell on my knees- defeated. Tears streamed down my eyes mixing with the raindrops. Hollowness washed over me and I couldn''t help but blame myself. I did not know for how long I was on the floor but I couldn''t care as well.


    A shadow loomed over my hunched form before someone pulled me on my feet.


    "Enough. Get inside and change."


    Eshan.


    Hope bloomed in my heart at the aspect of him coming back to me. Blinking, through the blurry vision, I searched for the honey brown eyes I had missed looking directly into. Just like that, my hope crushed when I saw the blue eyes glaring at me.


    "I said get inside, now."


    This was the first time in last four weeks he talked to me directly. He had given me silent treatment but that was the worst punishment.


    He was angry. However, his anger was justified. I had hurt his best friend. Hurt was the small word for what I did to Eshan. Nobody knew what had transpired between us that day. However, somehow Arjun knew. I had no idea how he found out, but he did.


    I had woken up in the hospital bed alone; all hooked up to machines after my panic attack had kicked in and had entrapped me in its clutches. I searched for Eshan only to realize he was never there in the first place.


    A sob bubbled in my throat once again, for the nth time. How beautiful everything was, but I ruined it. My chest constricted with the pain, I couldn''t help but cry at my own doing. The memories of our time together danced before my eyes, bringing the wave of pain for losing the chance to feel them again.


    "Make it stop, please." I held Arjun''s collar with trembling hands. It became unbearable for me. With no one to share my grief, I had kept everything to myself. Today, I just couldn''t. For the first time, I broke in front of him, letting out my pain through the only way I could- tears.


    His eyes softened. If no one else, he was the only person who could understand the reason behind my behavior. Even if, we had never really talked regarding my PTSD, he would understand, I knew he would- only if he would let me explain.


    "It hurts."


    "Please Arjun, make it stop. Bring him back... pl... please... I''m sorry... please," I cried out.


    I did not care what would he think of me. I broke his friend with cruel and unrequited accusations. He probably hated the mere sight of me. Nevertheless, I wanted him to bring Eshan back to me. I would beg him for forgiveness; plead him until he heard my side of the story but only if came back.


    Arjun''s hands held my wrists, freeing his collar from my hold he dragged me inside until we were standing in front of the washroom.


    Facing me, his blue eyes flashed with hurt before they hardened in a cold glare.


    "Sometimes sorry is not enough, Innaya. It isn''t."

 Chapter 51 - Life without Eshan (1)

    |Innaya|


    Arjun''s words brought another set of fresh tears in my eyes. My vision blurred and I flinched at the reality of his words. I watched Arjun leaving without sparing me a second glance and without telling me about Eshan''s whereabouts. I wrapped my arms around my stomach, an unconscious habit I had developed over the years. I closed my eyes and blinked back my tears.


    The emptiness in the room was eating me and every inch of it reminded me of Eshan, highlighting his absence and agony in my heart. Dragging my numb and cold body I reluctantly entered the bathroom. Stripping all of my wet clothes on my way, I finally found myself under the shower head.


    Turning on the warm water I was getting drenched again for tonight. This time instead of cold water splashing angrily on my whole being, it was just the opposite but it just reminded me of the same incident from earlier. Eshan''s words making the analogy of shower and rain were still fresh in my mind.


    I shuddered under the water, hugging myself tightly, missing him and his warmth. Not caring how much time had passed I stood with my eyes closed and head lowered, trying to hold myself together. Images of our time together kept flashing like a movie in my head and I couldn''t help but long for those happy times.


    Not understanding what came over me but I found myself reaching for Eshan''s body wash.


    ''Maybe, I am turning crazy.''


    Squeezing the tube I took a generous amount of gel on my hand and lathering it under the water, I applied the foam on my body. Covering myself completely with foam I felt rather better as if the smell of it reminded me of the owner who it usually belonged. If not for the continuous knocks on the door, I would have preferred staying covered in the foam for it provided me little comfort.


    Quickly rinsing my body, I reached for the towel to dry my wet body after answering Arjun to give me some time. After wiping my body, I searched for something to wear only to realize I didn''t bring a set of clothes to change into, not even undergarments. It wasn''t new though, lately, I often forgot things being too preoccupied with my thoughts as they revolved around certain someone with warm brown eyes.


    Taking the white bathrobe hung outside the shower wall, I changed into it. Walking outside the bathroom I made my way towards the wardrobe. My stupid heart acted on its own accord and instead of finding my clothes I opened Eshan''s side of clothes.


    The first thing that came in my line sight was the dull maroon tie. I gulped the lump formed in my throat as the memories related to it resurface in my mind. I took it in my hand and with my fingertips caressed it lightly. A small smile touched my lips in a very long time as the smooth silk cloth brought the incident that happened in the second week after we came to Mumbai.


    ><


    I clutched his tie near my heart as the ache in my heart reminded me of my mistakes. It just took one false accusation to ruin the beautiful relationship that was growing slowly between me and my husband.

 Chapter 52 - Life without Eshan (2)

    |Innaya|


    By the time I managed to gain control over my emotions and get dressed the night had only turned darker. The rain finally stopped, leaving behind the imprints in its wake. I wanted nothing but to curl under the sheets so that I could avoid meeting Arjun''s gaze. However, I knew I couldn''t be a coward.


    Sighing to myself, I clutched the tie that I''d wrapped around my wrist. Adjusting the full sleeve, I hid the tie within it. Somehow, having tied his tie around my wrist where my pulse was beating made me feel closer to Eshan.


    Arjun seemed to know everything better. He just came once when I was in the washroom, calling me for dinner. It wasn''t his duty to look after me, at least not what after I did to his best friend. I failed to understand why was sticking around me, taking care of me when it should be exactly the opposite. He should hate me, curse me, accuse me but he did no such thing.


    If he had at least expressed his anger, it wouldn''t have hurt much. Right now his eyes filled with disappointment were far more hurting.


    I closed the bedroom door behind me as I unwillingly made my way towards the stairway leading to the ground floor. Arjun must be waiting either in the living room or dining room for me. I had made him wait for longer than two hours since he pulled my drenched figure from the rain and pushed into the washroom.


    *


    "Arjun, where''s Eshan?" I heard Ayush''s voice and it was lacking its usual maturity. Instead, I felt the anger and worry in it.


    My heart skipped the beat. They all must be aware of Eshan''s disappearance. Last week I had visualized several possibilities of people confronting me but none of them circled having all of his friends at the same time.


    "I don''t know." Arjun''s calm voice sounded from the living room.


    I had two options. The first one was easy. For it, I just had to turn around and bolt for my room, locking myself inside till they left on their own. The second option was the most difficult one for that I would have to keep my fears at bay and face their anger.


    Despite knowing that the confrontation wouldn''t be nice, to begin with, I slowly climbed down the stairs. With each step the voices from them were getting clear, so did their faces. My heart began to hammer loudly in my chest. I wiped my clammy palms against my pajama bottoms.


    For the first time, I saw what it meant to have brothers at each other''s throat.


    "What the hell you mean by that?" Barun almost leaped out of the chair he was seating on.


    I could easily feel the tension in the room. Each of them was on their last thread of patience. A sudden tremor of cold went through my body and I shuddered involuntarily.


    Maybe, it had something to do with standing for too long in the rain. I rubbed my arms, hoping to warm my suddenly cold body.


    I looked down, taking some time to observe them. Arjun kept his nonchalant attitude, treating them as insignificant beings. In the middle of the living room, seating on the big brown couch Arjun looked aloof, detach from everything and everyone. His blue eyes emotionlessly accessed someone who stood silent at the corner.


    "You were with him before he went missing and now you are claiming that you don''t know. Do you expect us to believe your ridiculous lie?" Sameer scoffed, glaring at Arjun.


    This new piece of information shocked me. I was the last person with Eshan before he went missing. Then, what was Sameer saying? Was it possible for Arjun to know about Eshan? The tiny flicker of hope ignited in my heart. Maybe, Eshan was just angry and needed some time to cool down. He would come back once he thought things through, wouldn''t he?


    "I don''t know where you got that information from but it''s wrong. I wasn''t with him and I don''t know where he is. He isn''t a child. He''s a grown-up man, who knows and understands his responsibility." Arjun shrugged his shoulders in response.


    From the corner of my eyes, I saw a figure moving towards Arjun, almost calmly, too calmly honestly. That type of calm before the storm or tragedy hits.


    With misty eyes, Sahil questioned and I could feel the tremor in his voice. "How could you be so calm in this situation? Don''t you care for Eshan''s well being?"


    A strange glint shone in Arjun''s eyes but it vanished too soon as if it wasn''t there. He stood up and walked near Sahil, coming to stop face to face with him. "Do you?"


    "Huh?" A look of pure confusion clouded Sahil''s features. Sameer, Barun, and Ayush had the same looks on their faces as well. Three of them chose to observe the situation first and as if sharing the same understanding they stayed out of the discussion, giving Arjun and Sahil space to sort out whatever the matter was.


    I realized where this conversation was heading. Instead of blaming me, Arjun was blaming Sahil. How on the earth did he find out about Sahil''s involvement with it? There was no fault of Sahil. He just acted in the best interest of his friend, any good friend would do the same.


    "Do you care about him? Because I don''t think you do?" Arjun crossed his arms across his chest. Though Arjun said it plainly and it had no sarcasm or taunt, yet, it hurt. That hurt was so easily painted across Sahil''s face.


    "What the hell are you talking about? Of course, I care about Eshan and you damn well know that. Stop spouting nonsense, will you?" Sahil''s loud voice echoed in the room that fell silent after his outburst.


    "Please, stop this." I interrupted the conversation for I knew where it was heading to. I was already responsible for hurting their best friend. I wouldn''t be able to forgive myself if I became the reason for the rift between these two.


    I hurriedly climbed down the stairs, nearly tripping because of my hastiness.


    "Finally, you show up your highness. Thank you for gracing us with your valuable presence." Sahil''s sarcastic remark greeted me and I felt as if someone had slapped me across my face.


    "Sahil." Ayush, Sameer and Barun warned at the same time. Arjun stayed silent but his firm warning gaze was locked on Sahil.


    "Why are you looking at me like that? Ask her. She is responsible for everything."

 Chapter 53 - Old wounds (Unedited)

    |Innaya|


    In life, if there was something I hated the most then it was the accusation of being labeled responsible for. That was the worst childhood memory of mine where I was held responsible for all the mishaps in the life of people related to me. It took me very long to recover. After growing up, I made it to the point of not having much contact with others to save myself from trouble.


    I never wanted to give anyone a chance of using anything against me. However, who knew that despite my careful consideration of avoiding troubles, I would end up creating the biggest trouble of my life. So, when Sahil held me accountable for everything that resulted in Eshan''s disappearance, I couldn''t help but remember my not so happy childhood.


    Knowingly or unknowingly, Sahil''s words opened my old wounds. I froze in my place as those unhappy memories crawled disgustingly in my mind.


    "Sahil, we understand that you are worried about Eshan. We all are but that doesn''t give you any right to slander Innaya. She is his wife and she is worried about him too." Ayush decided to step forward and he calmly explained to Sahil. His calm voice pulled me out of the dark abyss I was sinking in.


    Judging from the anger in Sahil''s eyes, I understood that it would be futile to explain anything to him. In his eyes, I was the culprit and righteously he had every right to hold me responsible.


    "Ayush is right. You should apologize to her." Sameer nodded his head in agreement.


    "Apologize? To her?" Sahil pointed his finger at me as his face scrunched in disgust. "You must be dreaming?" he rolled his eyes disdainfully. "Just because you all are blinded by her fake innocence, that doesn''t mean I am too. I know all about her. She is nothing but a wolf in sheep''s clothing. Bloody opportunist."


    "What the hell is wrong with you? You know what, keep that shit to yourself. We have more pressing matters to handle than handling your bratty tantrum¡­ You might as well leave and give us some peace to think things through and rationally." This time Barun reprimanded Sahil without giving him any face.


    "Nothing is wrong with me. It''s you¡­ all of you. This heartless woman is responsible for this mess. She''s fooling all of you but I will bring her true colors in front of your eyes."


    I flinched at the harsh words and accusations, Sahil was throwing at me, though what he said wasn''t complete truth but it wasn''t complete lie also. Tears gathered in my eyes but I refused to cry in front of them. Not because it would make me feel guilty or pathetic but because I didn''t want to.


    There were very few people in front of whom I had cried. The people who were close to my heart were the only once whom I trusted. In front of them only I dared to let go of all my masks.


    "Leave," Ayush yelled, losing his composure.


    In fact, all three of them looked very angry.


    "Ayush¡ª"


    Sameer held Sahil by the back of his collar and pushed him in the direction of the door. "Shut up. I don''t want to hear another word. That''s enough. Do you think Eshan would appreciate this kind of behavior? Just leave, Sahil and don''t bother coming back."


    Sahil stumbled because of an unexpected push from Sameer but he balanced himself in time. Sahil turned around and this time the anger in his eyes had risen to an altogether different level. Instead of looking at anyone, he turned his gaze at me and didn''t try to hide his murderous intentions and hate.


    The wave of pure panic hit me. I haven''t been on the receiving end of such anger for a long time.


    His eyes.


    His eyes reminded me of that man.


    The man I had tried forgetting so hard. I even wished to suffer from amnesia so that I could forget that part of my past.


    I wanted to leave, I wanted to run. Sahil scared me. His eyes were scaring me. For me, they weren''t his eyes but the eyes that belonged to the man who was, unfortunately, my father.


    "Do you know what she did? She accused Eshan of having an affair. Do you believe, Eshan? The man who took her in when he could have found someone better, she accused him."


    "What?" Collective surprised or rather shocked gasps rang around me but as if I couldn''t understand what was going on. My senses long ago had stopped working. My eyes were glued on the Sahil''s as if they were being controlled. I couldn''t move them. My whole body was paralyzed in fear.


    "That''s nonsense. Sahil, shut up."


    "What? You will believe the girl whom you know from the only couple of months but not me. What purpose do I have for saying this? This woman, here is the real villain. Since she came into our lives, nothing is the same. We are fighting because of her. If not for her do you think Eshan will behave irresponsibly? One month. It''s been one month and we have no news of him. And, here this woman is enjoying the misfortune of our friend." Sahil shouted angrily.


    Sahil''s outburst scared me more. It was the same. My father used to be this angry. The present and past combined together were now creeping on my whole being. My back was drenched in my sweat. My forehead was perspiring. Instead of Sahil, my mind was showing me my father''s face. The face that was blurry all these years. I knew my mind was playing tricks but I couldn''t help it. I couldn''t control my body that was shivering in fright.


    I didn''t realize how it happened but one moment I was watching Sahil arguing with others and in the next moment I saw Sahil''s angry figure rushing towards me. At that moment, not only was his face replaced in my mind but the whole person. The person rushing towards me with the intent of killing was not Sahil but¡­ my father.

 Chapter 54 - Subjected to another trial of my misfortune.

    |Innaya|


    I am not sure how many people liked the idea of being chased by their demons but I surely didn''t. Something along the lines that- dealing with your demons face on makes you a stronger person. I truly hated this principal. Facing your innermost fears in such a way was nothing but sheer torture and in no way, I was willing to inflict such torture on myself.


    ''Life is unfair though, when had it asked for our choices? Take a live example of a figure rushing towards me for that matter. Have I asked for this?'' The answer was a simple no, but yet here I was, ready to be subjected to another trial of my misfortune.


    ''No, please. Don''t.'' I desperately pleaded inside my mind.


    I wanted to close my eyes, in hope of pretending that it was nothing but a nightmare and when I opened my eyes, it would be over. I wanted to focus on my breathing so that I didn''t lose myself into the darkness. I wanted to run further and further away from him. I wanted to do so many things for my own sanity but I couldn''t even make a single movement.


    My feet were frozen and so did my whole body. My eyelashes didn''t flutter; they stayed wide open, staring in horror at the front. At that time my mind had long ago stopped processing. My eyes couldn''t see what was in front anymore. There was some blurry kind of barrier blocking my vision.


    The pounding in my head increased as that figure closed nearer and nearer to me. The distance between us wasn''t large, to begin with, so it all happened within a couple of seconds only. There were a couple of shouts around me but I couldn''t make out what they were saying.


    Just as I thought he was going to strike me or worse¡­ a large shadow fell on me, completely separating me from the incoming danger. The broad shoulders in front of me were like a big mountain- firm, unyielding and unmoving, protecting the lives of many under its protection.


    "Take him out of here," someone yelled.


    "Sahil, leave."


    "What happened to her?"


    "What''s wrong?"


    "Arjun, what''s going on?"


    "Why she looks like she has seen a ghost?"


    "Innaya?"


    The voices got louder and louder but somehow they weren''t reaching to me. I couldn''t make out anything clearly and I couldn''t see anything either.


    I struggled to breathe as fear overpowered my senses. Through the haze crowding my mind, suddenly hands were holding me. Something was being said and I knew it was being spoken to me but I couldn''t understand.


    Just I thought I would collapse, the feeling of smooth, soft cloth pressing against the skin of my palms broke through my raised walls. I lowered my head as my fingers automatically wrapped tightly on my wrist.


    I blinked my eyes to get rid of that blurriness obstructing my view. Then only I realized that I was crying and it was tears that blinded my vision earlier. Once my eyes found their focus, my mind started calming down.


    Even if it was just a small piece of cloth that belonged to my husband, my mind recognized it instantly. That recognition brought a sense of relief and safety to my troubled heart.


    Clutching the tie with my fingertips I brought my wrist near my chest, almost hugging it. My eyes refused to part with it and they were glued to that tie. My breathing slowly started returning to normal as I focused on nothing but the things that reminded me of Eshan. The smell of Eshan''s body wash, I''d used also helped me to feel closer to Eshan. I slowly breathed in the scent of my husband and that also reminded me of the times when Eshan had helped in chasing away my panic attacks.


    "Have dinner and retire to your room."


    I lifted my head to look at the person speaking to me.


    Four pairs of eyes were looking worriedly at me, excluding Arjun. I quickly averted my eyes when they fell on Sahil. The closest to me was Arjun. Either he was a very good actor or he probably hated me because there wasn''t an ounce of worry or care in his eyes. His voice was also detached and cold as if I was some stranger. He stood with a couple of steps distance between us- uncaring.


    I nodded, a wave sadness washed over me. This incident just proved that I had lost a brother. Last time I had seen how worried he was for me but now, it seemed as if he doesn''t care.


    ''I deserve it.''


    Keeping my head down, I left the living room. My hand still tightly held on the tie, it was the only thing that gave me comfort. I knew Eshan''s friends were waiting for some sort of explanation from my side, maybe some other time.


    *


    I directly sat down on the dining chair once I was away from all of their eyes. My energy had already drained long ago. I didn''t have in it me to eat but for Arjun''s sake, I had to. That didn''t mean I couldn''t take a breather.


    It didn''t take long for the silent living room to turn into a chaotic discussion room.


    "Arjun, what''s wrong with her?" Barun asked and I could hear worry in it.


    "Why is he still here?" Arjun questioned instead and I understood it was for Sahil. The mere thought of Sahil being outside unsettled me. I knew I shouldn''t be afraid of him but that was a rational part of my brain, the scared part couldn''t handle him. The image of his seething eyes was like an ugly parasite, stuck to me, draining me of my life.


    "You don''t have that right. It must be another crazy trick of hers but I won''t be fooled. I agree I shouldn''t have behaved that way. I couldn''t control myself. She is no saint either, she is manipulative¡ª" Sahil yelled. He was saying it to me.


    It hurt.


    I didn''t know what happened out there but then everything quietened down out there.


    I sighed heavily.


    I glanced down at the tie on my wrist. At this time, this was the only thing I could rely on.


    "Eshan, please come back. I miss you. I''m sorry for acting that way but please, let me explain. I''m scared. I need you. Please, Eshan," I whispered, biting my lips. My emotions were stirring once again but it was as if I had no more tears shed for today.

 Chapter 55 - Alone...

    |Innaya|


    I stared blankly at the white ceiling as I lay in the big bed, alone. After swallowing some soup, I had left the kitchen. I dared not to lift my head when I was crossing the living room. I had long sensed that all of Eshan''s friends were still in the living room but the only difference was that they made sure to keep their voices down. Thankfully, their lack of insistence helped me. It relieved me.


    I failed to understand who amongst them would be a better choice for asking help. I needed to find Eshan and that too as soon as possible. The month-long agony was taking a toll on me. My spirits were losing and so was my ability to hold on.


    I never had thought that someone would become so important in my life. Slowly and steadily, he had made his place in my life. I''d become so habitual to having him with me, around me. Biting my lips, I blinked my eyes. I was never this emotional. This past month proved otherwise. My emotions were always on tenterhooks and my tears like unannounced rain, slight mention of Eshan and I was reduced to nothing.


    I turned on my left, glancing at now empty space beside me, the space that belonged to Eshan. Lifting my hand, my palm leisurely roamed across the sheets. I didn''t know what I was trying to do. There weren''t any traces of him left, sheets had been changed, and pillow covers had been changed. Then, what was I looking for?


    The cream color white fluffy small teddy placed between our pillows caught my attention. Taking it out from there, I kept it beside me, in Eshan''s place. Though the small thing couldn''t compare to Eshan nonetheless it brought back the memory of that evening when I got to know about how Eshan held onto my dubu without my knowledge.


    *


    (Flashback)


    *


    I searched for my teddy bear in the bedroom but I didn''t find it. So, I made my way downstairs even when I knew that I didn''t take it anywhere else.


    ''Who knows? Your memory is way poorer than that of the world''s poorest person.''


    ''Who are you calling dumb?''


    ''Of course, it''s you.''


    ''You just proved how dumb you are. We''re the same person and yet you are calling my memory poor.''


    I stopped in my tracks. Was I seriously talking and arguing with myself? I laughed at my silly behavior.


    The sound from Eshan''s study grabbed my attention. Then I recalled that I''d been to his study with Dubu. I shook my head at my stupidity. I changed my direction and directly entered in Eshan''s study.


    "Eshan, have you seen my dubu?" I asked him the moment I entered his study room.


    Though I had asked him the question, my eyes were busy searching for my most loved possession. When I didn''t receive any response from him, I frowned in confusion. Lifting my head, I looked at him, wondering what he was occupied with.


    I didn''t notice the familiar figure of my husband at first. Curtains of the window were drawn aside and the large window was open, letting inside the cool air. The chair which usually was placed behind the table in the middle had changed in the position. The chair was now facing the open window.


    I walked at the other end of the room. When I rounded the table and came to stop beside the chair.


    Unknown to my presence, Eshan was soundly sleeping in that chair. His hair was disheveled due to the wind coming from outside. My eyes widen in astonishment when I noticed what my dear husband was holding in his arms.


    My dubu.


    From past one hour, the dubu, I was searching for was now captive in my husband''s hands. I didn''t realize that the tough-looking, grown-up and mature person like Eshan, would be so tender towards some soft toy. He was literally, holding the toy with tremendous care and even in his sleep he face didn''t lose the charm. It also didn''t hide the contentment. I was not sure for what reasons his face had that smile but I liked it.


    The way his lips were curved in that beautiful arc was a real treat to eyes. I leaned against the wall, folding my arms across my chest. My eyes refused to part with the sleeping man.


    The defenseless man, who had given in to his tiredness and had succumbed to the darkness, had a unique charm about himself. I couldn''t help but keep staring at him. Of course, I knew that was rude and wrong. Well, it wasn''t wrong. The person was my husband not just some random guy to take liberties with. I could look at him for all my life, who would say anything to me?


    My thoughts surprised me. Since when I started harboring such kinds of thoughts?


    Eshan stirred a little, hugging my innocent teddy bear more tightly in his arms. His little action broke the beautiful haze I was in. I knew he would soon wake up, so letting him have these few moments of peacefulness, I left to bring him some snacks and his favorite ginger tea. For the first time, I left my teddy to someone else other than me. I didn''t forget to sneakily take a picture of him with my dubu though.


    *


    (Flashback ends)


    *


    I stared at the picture I had taken that. I had thought I would tease Eshan with this photo. It wasn''t an everyday case that fully grown-up man would cuddle with girly toys.


    I never got that chance of teasing Eshan. I caressed the photo on my mobile screen. I could only touch him this way.


    Was Eshan feeling the same way? Was he longing for me or did he hate me? Had I hurt him so much that he didn''t like to see me anymore? What was I supposed to do? Where was I supposed to find him?


    Should I ask my in-laws?


    There were many questions but no answers. My head ached. I knew I wasn''t going to get any sleep and anyhow if I got one then I would have a nightmare because of Sahil''s incident.


    I sat down and took my medicine pouch from the bedside table. These days, I left it there only instead of the cupboard for I seemed to be needing them more than any time. I took out one sleeping tablet from my medicine pouch. I gulped down it with water.


    Placing the medicine pouch and glass back to their places, I lied down again. This time clutching my dubu near my heart I waited for sleep to come and lessen my pain at least temporarily.

 Chapter 56 - Memories

    ||Innaya||


    Pulling out the diary from the drawer, I sat on the floor with my back against the bed. While roaming my fingers on the cover, a smile found a way to my lips. Another two weeks had passed without any news of Eshan. I could only indulge myself with his memories.


    *


    Treasure your memories in this.


    Share your problems with this.


    Bottling up never helps...


    Treat it as your escape...


    -


    Your Grandpa


    *


    It was the gift from Grandpa to me on my birthday last year, exactly two months before he passed away.


    Letting that aside, I turned the diary open. There weren''t many things I had penned, few before my marriage and a few after. I was not fond of writing, yet every year Grandpa gifted me a new diary on my birthday. Not wishing to dwell into the past before Eshan, I shuffled the pages and opened the bookmarked one.


    *


    "You don''t have to hesitate to ask anything, Innaya. You have every right to question, remember this."


    *


    Eshan had said that on our first date. I have no idea what had forced me to write his dialogue, but I did. I had written some of his words that had touched my heart somehow.


    Why did I not remember them? I just had to ask and he would have washed away all the clouds of my insecurities. I had tried, just because he wanted to keep it surprise he failed to see how it was affecting me.


    My unsaid words and emotions were understood by him and yet this time how he failed to notice it?


    Turning the page, my eyes welled up as they took in the beautiful handwriting of my husband. How thoughtful his gift was. Instead of showing his wealth through some heavy and expensive jewelry, he opted the simple way, yet stirred something in me on our wedding night.


    *


    *


    "Your eyes have a spark,


    Like a light shining in the dark,


    The innocence of a child,


    I can feel it in your smile,


    It''s a different world you have stepped in,


    Just don''t forget it''s me whom you are with,


    Dear, just don''t be afraid, I am there,


    Hold my hand if you fear,


    The glass symbolizes my promise,


    You will be treasured all my life,


    Transparency and care,


    Yet the shielding armor,


    I promise to be the friend you need!


    I promise to be the support you seek!


    I promise to make you happy!


    Like this colorful gift,


    I promise to make our life exquisite!


    -


    Eshan


    *


    *


    I sighed heavily, the emptiness in my heart only increased, yet I was putting myself through it. Reading his words was pure torture because now the meaning behind his words was much deeper, more intimate. Those were the words of the man for his woman¡ª the woman he loved. The burden of them now only weighed me down with sheer guilt.


    Wiping the single tear that rolled on my cheek, I forced myself to flip the page. I had written exactly what occurred on the flight. The heat slowly traveled in my face as the memory of that scene slowly played in my mind.


    *


    "Mi querida esposa, I love seeing you amused. You are irresistible when you have this..." unwinding his hand that had kept my palm holding closer to him, he drew a circle in the air with his index finger, "this ethereal smile that says to me time and again, that you are not from this world."


    *


    I had no idea what forced me to write it exactly the way he said it, but I did it anyway. The adoration in his eyes, his teasing smile never made sense then but it did now. He cared for me openly without voicing his feelings for once, giving me an ample amount of time to adjust with him and what did I do?


    Blinking back the tears, I gulped the air holding myself back from breaking down. With shaky fingers, I turned the pages till his words from our first night in Mumbai came in the picture.


    *


    "Just don''t drift away from me. I understand everything is new... I am unable to put it in the words, but I feel horrible when I am not able to help you. I feel worthless, and I do not like that feeling. I have told you, and I am telling you again, I love the beautiful smile on your face. I do not like to see the worry, panic, or fear in your these eyes. I hate the idea of anything causing you pain. I am not sure what triggers those sorts of reactions from you, and no, you do not need to tell me. All I am asking is to try to trust me. I know it isn''t easy, but it''s not that difficult either."


    *


    I had unintentionally shut him out many times, and that day too I wouldn''t have mentioned my cynophobia. However, I did. I might not have been totally honest with him, but I didn''t lie either. I just did not tell the truth.


    The heaviness in my chest only grew stronger; I felt someone was stabbing my heart with the knife. The pain intensified, so did my longing, grief, and guilt. Closing my eyes, I brought my knees to my chest and clutched the diary near my heart. Silent tears flew freely through my closed eyelids while my heart ached for him.


    *


    "I never asked you, are you comfortable with this intimacy of us? I want you to set the pace of our relationship. I don''t want to rush you into anything. Hmm? So?"


    "This is not wrong. We being close to each other is not wrong. You do not have to feel guilty for touching or admiring something that is rightfully yours."


    "The matter of importance is, I am all ours. Yours to do whatever you want, just like you are mine. That being said, you don''t have to feel uncomfortable before me, you don''t have to avoid my gaze. I will never do anything that will make you uncomfortable"


    "Innaya, it''s your heart exploring the new change don''t let your mind put the barrier across your wants. Let your heart and mind be united, and follow the path you feel right. Don''t deny yourself the happiness you deserve."


    "I am saying the truth. Believe me or not but you are my fairy, who puts me to sleep every night. I missed my fairy."


    *


    His words rang in my ear, and I knew I did not need to read them. I knew everything by heart now. Recalling everything only resulted in the pain, yet I welcomed that pain.


    Maybe, because Eshan thought I deserved it. I had no idea what he thought of me now. It felt as if he hated me because not for once he called me from the past one and half months.


    I could have borne his anger, his indifference, his silence, but he did nothing. He just left me as if everything ended.


    Maybe, it did.


    Who would forgive and forget such an incident? He was after all human being, he had his limits too.


    Maybe, I never deserved any happiness. I was cursed just like they said. I was a bad omen, who brought bad luck and destruction with herself.


    Maybe, we were never meant to be. I should just let go of hope. I had tried finding him everywhere, but I couldn''t. His friends were not ready to talk to me, Arjun avoided talking to me, and then how was I meant to find him. I felt so alone.


    Controlling myself with great difficulty, I composed myself. I picked up the pen, lying near my feet before I let my emotions guide that pen for the last time.

 Chapter 57 - Dear life, when will this end?

    Dear life,


    PTSD- Post-traumatic stress disorder, the term may simple, but the one, who suffers from it, is the only person who knows what and how bad it is. Every year, there are around 10 million cases of people suffering from PTSD in India, and yet, there is quite a handful of them who are aware.


    Going through the trauma is itself torturous, and as if that is not enough, one has to carry forward the scars throughout their life in the form of panic attacks, flashbacks, nightmares, painful episodes, trust issues, communication problems, and whatnot. The severity and intensity of it can''t be worded easily. It is tough, extremely tough.


    A child who didn''t know the harsh ways of the world, who should have been enjoying her childhood without any worries, was subjected to something she shouldn''t have. The age where one is hopping around happily, learning about new things, new places, was forced to spend her days in fear. Had I asked for that kind of life? Had I asked for a father, who never saw me as his daughter? For him, I was just bad luck.


    Growing up, the incident that had happened back then left a huge impact on me. I couldn''t trust people easily. I couldn''t believe anyone. I chose to stay quiet. I learned to hide my fears, but that doesn''t mean I have overcome them. No, I haven''t. My fears have also grown up with me. That''s why I didn''t want to marry. Nothing would have happened had I stuck to that.


    I should have explained Eshan about this in our first meeting. Maybe, I should have given him little idea about my problems. In my defense, I was shocked. I had never thought I would have any relationship in my life, least I had expected the marriage proposal. Yet, I agreed even though I should not have. Eshan had every right to know.


    However, was I at fault for not being able to open up?


    I don''t know.


    I tried. I shared things. Things that I never shared with anyone apart from my family on the second day of our marriage. I confided him with my fears, irrespective of being brief about them.


    My mother''s marriage went disastrous, and we both suffered the brunt of it. Still, she recovered. Maybe, because she was not subjected to the ill-treatment of another woman in her husband''s life.


    I often question myself. What was my fault?


    I was the only child, a girl child. Was it that?


    Was it because Grandpa made me the sole heir of his property after I was born?


    I don''t know.


    Agreed, Eshan has been patient with me. He gave me enough time, and never pressurized me for anything. However, the secrets I kept hidden in my heart for more than eleven years needed more time to reveal themselves. Barely four months of knowing him, how could I share that period of my life?


    If he had not been acting strange and secretive lately, the whole situation could have been avoided.


    He was hospitalized, and one who admitted him was his friend I have never met, I ignored. I found him in the flower shop with another girl, I ignored. I received his call, and that woman hung up after hearing my voice, I ignored. He came late and left early, I ignored. He behaved strangely, I ignored.


    Just because I ignored that doesn''t mean I didn''t think about it. For more than one month, things kept piling up. My mind kept linking things with the past. Everything just added to my fears. I tried. I tried very hard to not let my fears control my thinking. I wanted to trust Eshan. I wanted to give him a chance to explain. I waited and I kept waiting until that day.


    Had I not found them in each other''s arms, it could have gone a different way. That scene rubbed me in the wrong way. It reminded me of how my father had held another woman who wasn''t my mother in his arms, professing his love. I lost my composure. I lost my rationality.


    I know, I am the one to be blamed for the pain I caused to myself, Eshan, and Arjun. I am ashamed of my behavior, and I would do anything to rectify my doings, only if I knew where he is...


    Is he not returning because he doesn''t want to see me anymore? If that is the case, then I shall grant him this. I must leave this house and him. I don''t know what to do. I don''t want to leave him. If anything, I want to spend the rest of my life with him. In the short span of four months, the level of comfort he provided to me was something I never had with the opposite gender.


    He made me feel happy. He made me feel normal. He made me feel comfortable. But, I don''t feel that anymore, all I feel is never-ending sadness.


    I am tired of this. I feel depressed, and I am not sure how long I will be able to bear this pain. My heart aches for him, so do my soul.


    Dear life, when will this end?


    I''m tired.


    I want to give up.


    I want this pain to go away.


    I want to feel peaceful, again.


    But, I don''t know if I deserve it.


    -


    Innaya


    *


    *


    *


    Drops of water falling on the paper made ink on the paper turn blurry and spread in a circle. I wiped my tears away with the back of my palm.


    Unlike other times, I didn''t burn this paper. Burning it would have made me feel emotionally lighter according to my experience, but I knew it wouldn''t work this time.


    I closed the diary. Bringing my knees close to my chest, I kept my head on them.


    My eyes, greedily roamed around our bedroom that soon wouldn''t be mine anymore. I made my decision while writing. I realized that Eshan''s return was linked to my presence in his life. As long as I stayed here, he wouldn''t be back.


    What right I had to hinder him from his home? Only when I left from his life and Mumbai, he would return to his family and friends.


    This was my last night, in the house which I had come to think of mine, but not anymore. The next day, I would take my leave and return to Bangalore.

 Chapter 58 - Eshan?

    ||Innaya||


    "Sweetheart." The familiar endearment caused my heart to race. It had been so long. I''ve never been the person who loved sweet talks, nicknames, or endearments. It was Eshan, who made me habitual to them. Over the period, those annoying and irritating endearments became sweet and loving.


    "Eshan?" I called out, unable to see him. I turned to my left, finding the switch of lights to turn them on.


    "Tesoro." Eshan''s deep voice again sounded, but I couldn''t locate him.


    "Eshan?" I left the bed when the lights didn''t work, and darkness remained around me.


    "Come, find me."


    "Where are you?" I yelled back in the darkness. I blindly searched for my mobile for the torch, yet I found nothing. Everything was pitch-black; I could hear nothing, but the familiar voice of my husband. It was beyond frustrating to have him so close, yet so far. Where was he? His voice sounded from close, but when I extended my arms out for reaching him, holding him, they grasped on to air only.


    "Eshan, where are you? Please, come back to me. I am so sorry. Please, Eshan," I cried out in the space in front of me.


    Suddenly, light flooded the room, brightening everything. I closed my eyes to adjust to the sudden light, at the same time, I blocked my eyes with the back of my right palm. The bright light hurt my eyes; they were already swollen with all those sleepless nights and endless crying I had done for all these days. I blinked my eyes when after some time, my eyes found their bearing.


    I blinked my eyes.


    I blinked them again, unable to believe what they were seeing.


    There stood the person who was missing from me.


    The person, I was missing for all these days.


    Eshan''s smiling face greeted me. His familiar figure stood there in the white shirt and khaki color pants. The same one we brought when we had gone for shopping. It was the same one that had caught my attention, and I had forced him to try it then and there. For a couple of occasions when he wore them, Eshan had told me how much he liked that combination. I liked him in those clothes too.


    Bracing myself against the wall for the support, I let my eyes have their fill. Though my eyes burned with unshed tears, I couldn''t lower my gaze from his hypnotizing eyes. I had missed those brown eyes. I had missed looking at my reflection in those eyes. I had missed how his eyes followed me, always.


    His honey brown eyes, full of love were trained on me.


    His lips never dropped the bewitching smile.


    He was there, in flesh.


    I never felt so grateful for anything in my life as much as I was feeling having him before me. I stumbled upon my feet while I covered the distance between us.


    Without any preamble, I launched myself in his arms that were wide open as if anticipating my actions. I held onto him with everything in me. His arms wrapped around me, engulfing me in his warm embrace. Tears escaped through my eyes. Finally, he was here.


    "I missed you, Eshan."


    I confessed, raising my head to look at his face.


    He just smiled. Why was he not saying anything?


    Confused, I placed my palm on his cheek. I watched the smile fading from his face. Minutes later, his lips dropped to the thin line, his eyes turned sad before he stepped out of the hug.


    "Eshan?"


    I missed his warmth. I felt empty once his arms left me. His eyes glazed with tears, and it broke my heart to watch him in agony. I didn''t like it. I wanted his smile back, I wanted his arms around me like they were.


    Eshan walked back as if looking at me was his mistake. As if he didn''t want to be with me, and that hurt.


    "Eshan. Please, where are you going? Stay, please, forgive me. I am sorry. Eshan," I cried out. I tried reaching out to him, but I couldn''t move my legs, they remain frozen in their place. With desperate eyes, I watched the scene unfolding in front of me.


    With his, every step away from me was like a dagger in my heart. My chest constricted in pain. Tears streamed endlessly from my eyes. I watched him disappear in the dark before everything went black.


    *

 Chapter 59 - Had I truly lost everything?

    |Innaya|


    "ESHAN¡ª"


    I jolted awake. Frantically, I searched for him only to realize it was another nightmare. My hands met the cold floor beside the carpet I was sitting upon; I looked down and found myself in the same place where I was writing the letter. I had fallen asleep while crying when I had decided to leave Eshan''s life for good.


    I exhaled heavily. Wiping the sweat beads on my forehead, my fingers automatically went to the beaded wedding chain on my neck, curling around it. Somehow, the wedding chain comforted me. Lately, I had the feeling that something was not right with Eshan.


    I wiped my face with my hands. In my sleep, I had cried, and traces of all the fresh and dried up tears were visible on my face, I could feel it.


    "Water."


    The gruff voice of Arjun had me open my eyes that had closed on their own accord. Giving him a grateful look, I accepted it. The owner of blue orbs kept avoiding my gaze, instead focussed them somewhere on the carpeted floor.


    "Thank you!" I mumbled softly. Without saying anything, Arjun turned to leave, but I had enough of his aloof behavior just as I had enough of his best friend''s, my husband''s.


    Anyway, after this night I was leaving this place. So, I should take this opportunity to confront him.


    For almost close to two months, he was staying beside me. Most of the time, he stayed out of my way. He appeared only with food three times a day if I didn''t appear on my own in the dining room. Though I barely touched the food sometimes, his one glare was more effective than his words. I had to force myself to eat for I felt guilty whenever Arjun looked at me with those cold eyes.


    Eshan''s other friends didn''t bother to visit me again after that fiasco Sahil created. It was a good thing, from childhood I was never good at dealing with people. I got scared easily, and that made it harder to deal with them.


    I raised my right hand and caught his hand. Gripping his wrist, I asked the question that was swirling in my mind for so long. "Why are you tending to my needs? Let me suffer, you don''t have to be with me when you don''t want to."


    His silence once again graced me; he tugged at his arm without turning to look at me.


    "Arjun, I am asking something." I made myself sound sterner, but I didn''t think it made any difference for my voice was all squeaky and rough due to all the crying I had done.


    "I am not answerable to you." He removed my hold with his other hand before he started moving away.


    ''Not tonight. You''ll have to answer me. You called me your sister, and I considered yourself as my brother. As a brother, you''ve to give me answers I''m seeking, even if that means I have to force them out of you.''


    I clumsily stood up, but because of sitting in the same position from very long, my legs had gone numb, and my knees buckled. My whole body started falling, ungracefully, and I closed my eyes expecting the heavy fall. The fall never came, instead, I found Arjun supporting me. With his help, I managed to sit on the bed.


    "Yes, you are." I looked into his eyes after I comfortable sat down. I still had held onto his wrist. There was that nagging feeling somewhere in the back of my mind as if telling me to not give up this time. I didn''t realize where this courage was coming from, but it was for better because, without it, I wouldn''t have been able to hold my ground for much longer.


    "Innaya."


    I brushed away his warning tone, and I continued, "Arjun, why are you still with me? You hate me, right? Then go ahead, let out your anger on me. You¡­ you can hit¡ª"


    "SHUT UP!" His eyes blazed with anger, and he pressed his lips tightly. He tried sidestepping, to which I just shifted, blocking his way. I blinked back tears at his indifference.


    "I am sorry, alright. Punish me how you want, but for God''s sake, stop behaving like this..." my voice broke in the end as I pleaded, "Just take me to Eshan."


    I fell on my knees before I joined my hands, begging him. I couldn''t handle the distance between Eshan and I. The separation was killing me.


    "Please Arjun, try to understand... You had said¡ª you understand how I feel." Lowering my forehead on my joined palms, I pleaded to him, reminding him of his own words. Maybe, it would soften his steely resolve.


    "Yet you forgot what I said after that... I had told you to let Eshan help¡ª not to let your past ruin your relationship." He said through gritted teeth.


    I sucked a sharp breath. He was right, but only partially. I had tried, and I would have told Eshan, eventually, if things had not turned out this way.


    I raised my head to look at Arjun, to confirm that there was no hope. He was not going to forgive me ever. Dreading to lose myself into more despair, I averted my eyes even before they could meet his.


    Had I truly lost everything?


    *

 Chapter 60 - Where was I?

    |Innaya|


    In life, one has to do things irrespective of what we want to do. It might seem like we are given choices, but the truth is bitter. We''re given choices, yet what we need to choose has already been decided. Those choices are for namesake only. Just like the choice of getting married to Eshan.


    My family made it seems like, I had to decide about my marriage, but it wasn''t the case. My destiny was already fixed by them. Otherwise, nothing could happen within a snap of a finger. Eshan''s family came unannounced, we got engaged instantly, and then within two weeks a simple ceremony, and boom, I was married.


    Barely a month after being married, I had to leave my hometown, a place where my only family lived. In one day, my whole world migrated to a new, unfamiliar building. The building, which slowly became home because of the warmth its host provided and made me the hostess.


    These past five months, I didn''t realize how my world started revolving around Eshan, only. It amazed me how I, the person who disliked depending on anyone, who raised guard against the mere idea of including someone in her life, let him enter in my life, in my heart.


    Where that left me? Allowing him in my life, turned out to be this painful, some beautiful, and memorable days of bliss, and later all remained was a pain.


    I blinked my eyes as tears again started resurfacing in them. I bit my lip; my numb body fell backward as instead of my knees, I was now sitting on my buttocks in a very sorry state.


    Arjun had not left, and I was quite aware of his piercing blue eyes trained upon me.


    "Leave," I said as I hardened my heart. It was over, all over. There was no use of holding him back when I knew he wasn''t going to be of any help.


    When I heard no sound even after quite a time had passed, I raised my head to look at him. I expected to meet his cold and empty eyes, but I was surprised to see the same concern swirling in those blue eyes. Baffled, I watched him kneeling in front of me, offering me the white handkerchief. I stared at his outstretched hand, foolishly.


    What was he trying to do? Shouldn''t he leave after I granted him an easy escape?


    "Stop crying. You look ugly."


    What was that? Sarcasm? Joke? Truth? I failed to understand the sudden change in his behavior. The man who didn''t care to speak more than a couple of words in the past two months was now crouching before me, holding me, comforting me. It was unexpected.


    "Shh¡­" Arjun pulled me in a brotherly hug when I sat still, too stunned to react. "Silly girl," he helplessly said as he patted my head. And, that action of his had me weeping all over again.


    *


    *


    *


    Have you ever been in a situation where you are blindfolded and have your ears covered with headphones so that you are unable to know about what''s happening around you?


    Well, it was not some kidnapping saga of any television serial or plot of any novel, but the reality of my present situation. I had a blank cloth covering my eyes, tied around my head. Also, headphones were covering my ears, playing some old songs. If it had been any other day, I would have enjoyed listening to those old Hindi songs, but today was different.


    The predicament I was in, might feel unnatural to many, but I was not the least bit affected. I knew for the fact, what was awaiting me at the end of this journey. For the destination ahead of this road, every struggle was worthwhile.


    Time passed, and as I had no idea what was happening around me, I could only wait for Arjun''s further instructions. Since we sat in the car, after he made sure I fulfilled his demands of blindfold and headphones, Arjun had not for the once talked to me.


    After what felt like an eternity, I felt the car coming to the stop. All this while, if not for some bumps on the road, and changing speed, I would have considered ourselves idling in the stationary car.


    The songs stopped, and I heaved a sigh of relief. Finally, we had arrived. The door of the driver''s side opened, and it soon closed after Arjun left his seat. I waited patiently for him to open my side of the door, and take me out of this car to the place I was wishing to reach.


    Arjun didn''t disappoint me. He covered the distance in long strides and swiftly took me out. He unfolded the cloth from my eyes but reminded me to keep them close.


    "Be careful, and walk slowly," Arjun instructed as he held my hand and guided me on the path, only he could see.


    The sweet and musky fragrance of the roses wafted in the air. I could do nothing but let my lungs take their fill. I had promised to keep my eyes closed, and I was going to keep it that way, following his every single command. His hand guided me, and trusting him, I kept my eyes shut.


    "I don''t want you to know the route. This will be the first, and the last time, I am taking you to him. Try sorting out everything, if you can."


    The words of Arjun floated in my mind from last night. While I cried thinking I had lost everything, he had knelt before me taking me in his arms, being there for the girl he considered his sister.


    Arjun stopped walking after we covered a considerable distance. Beside him, my steps came to halt too.


    "I will be waiting outside," Arjun whispered taking me out of my thoughts before I felt him moving away.


    The sound of his footsteps faded away, and I could feel the loneliness and silence in the air.


    Where was I?


    *

 Chapter 61 - Behind that door

    |Innaya|


    I breathed deeply. My current condition didn''t differ much from the child who is enticed with a chocolate treat if he finished the cup of vegetable soup he detested. The child knows it''s a trap, he might not get what is promised to him, yet with hope, he looks forward to it.


    Arjun said I would find Eshan here, but what if he had left before we reached here? What if he saw me entering, and then left? What if Eshan wasn''t here in the first place? What if Arjun was playing a cruel prank on me for taking revenge on behalf of his best friend? The number of ''what if''s'' were starting to give me headaches.


    I started to have second thoughts on my decision of trusting Arjun. Did I misunderstand his sudden changed caring behavior? The teak wooden door ahead of me was the only thing stopping me from finding answers to all my questions. Just a step closer, and after opening the door, I would know to trust Arjun was the right decision or not.


    I calmed myself. I didn''t like raising my hopes, because hoping could be a double-edged sword. When hope is fulfilled, the abundant joy graces us. At the same time when it remains unfilled, all wait ahead of us is endless grief. For the last two months, I have had enough of grief. I could no longer handle any more of it.


    However, my heart couldn''t help, but hope. Hope, for meeting the man, I was relentlessly looking for. Hope, for having the chance to explain. Hope, of starting the blissful life, I had lost from the last two months, once again. My stupid heart dared to hope despite knowing the consequence.


    I cleared my mind of everything, setting all thoughts aside. Suddenly, there was a flutter in my heart. My heartbeat picked up a pace. The feeling was different from what I had when I was stressed. I couldn''t pinpoint what exactly that feeling was. I searched through my memories for an answer but found none.


    I frowned when that feeling became persistent. I couldn''t name it, couldn''t describe it if one were to ask me. I concentrated on my breathing. At this point, maintaining my composure was of utmost priority. Everything else could wait.


    Firming my resolve, I raised my right hand to knock on the door. Things would be clearer after the door opened. Seemed like the door wasn''t locked because with just a slight force from my hand, and the door was pushed inside, revealing the inside of the room.


    The first thing I noticed was the one I would have never imagined, and I would never want to. I don''t know if it was my luck or just the intuition, but my gaze landed in the right corner, where someone was sitting. I pushed the door fully so that I could have a better look.


    I took a step inside. Even though it was daytime before I had opened the door fully there wasn''t enough light, rather the whole room was shadowed in the darkness. From the outside of the room, light entered inside the room making everything visible.


    I stood rooted in my place. Against the wall, there sat the man. The very own person of my distress, misery, and pain, yet the only one who was the sole reason for my happiness.


    Eshan.


    Eshan sat on the floor, his hollow gaze fixed ahead on the something.


    My heart clenched painfully in my chest not being able to bear the sight of him. The light in his brown eyes seemed to have died. His face had lost all the color, and the dark circles underneath his eyes told the tale of many sleepless nights he had spent. His midnight-black hair was disheveled, and grown long. The once clean-shaven face of his now sported the beard that almost made him look scary.


    I held the doorframe for my support as my knees suddenly lost their ability to support me. With bated breath, I followed his line of sight only to gasp loudly. Before me, were the numerous photos covering the whole wall. That face of the girl in those photos belonged to me.


    Realization of it being the same room, where I had last seen him hit me hard. It was the very same room that had my photos from my childhood to the present.


    Eshan did not notice me. Not for once, his eyes flickered to me, not even when I moved towards him, not even when I stopped before him. I sunk to the ground as my legs trembled.


    "Eshan," I called out his name, hesitantly. My voice shook with anxiety and nervousness.


    Eshan stayed unmoved as if he never heard me. His unresponsiveness scared me. He did not glance at me as if I was not there. With trembling hand holding him by his cheek, I turned his face in my direction. He did not seem to realize I was there, calling him, holding him. The eyes that used to be full of life were now devoid of any emotions. It appeared as if he was not present there as if his soul was somewhere else.


    "Eshan," the breathless whisper of his name left from my lips. I didn''t recognize my voice anymore.


    I shook him by his shoulders when his eyes sought those photos instead of me.


    After countless failed attempts of having his attention, Eshan blinked his eyes at me.


    "Innaya?"


    He lifted his hand in a trance, but before it could reach to me, I saw him taking it back as if fearing something. However, his eyes were fixed on my face, as if memorizing every inch of it. He did not touch my face though.


    "Eshan?" I called out to him. My heart was breaking watching his unresponsive figure.


    "Eshan. Please talk with me," I pleaded to him, not hiding the panic in my voice, urging him to speak, whereas he remained impassive.

 Chapter 62 - Go Innaya, leave me...

    |Innaya|


    When I was around eleven years old, I had accidentally broken a vase. That porcelain vase held very important meaning to my grandma. Grandpa had gifted that vase to grandma on their fiftieth wedding anniversary. It was a custom made one. I don''t recall many details about it. I remember locking myself in my room after that, and I had refused to open the door for anyone.


    I hadn''t done that because I was afraid of grandpa. No, both grandparents of mine wouldn''t even scold me for that matter. I had acted that way because I felt guilty. I was way too ashamed of myself, and I didn''t know how to face them.


    Was that how Eshan felt?


    Back then, it wasn''t until grandma had opened the door with the master key that I had come out from my room. She taught me how to face my mistakes and admit them. She taught me that hiding away was never the option.


    I had my grandmother who showed me the right path, but who was there for Eshan?


    Looking at Eshan''s condition, I wondered, what had he done to himself? Since when had he locked himself here?


    Fear starting gripping my mind with all the negative thoughts after watching him in such a state. Shaking him, by holding his shoulders, I tried coaxing him to respond. Eshan blinked back several times as if trying to believe his eyes. I saw realization searing in his eyes, showing his disbelief. I then noticed surprise registering in those brown orbs.


    I could finally breathe properly. He showed some reaction.


    "Innaya?" Eshan whispered disbelievingly. However, it sounded more like a question as if he was wondering to himself.


    Next, I knew, were his hands that came around me, pulling me in a hug so tight as if his life depended on it. The force and emotions in the way he embraced me, forced tears in my eyes. His arms continued pulling me closer, even though there wasn''t any space left. I felt as if he feared I would vanish if he let go.


    His actions proved his anxiety. What was wrong with him? Tears started falling from my eyes. Maybe, it was his pain rather than mine.


    Slowly, I raised my limp hands, and wrapping them around Eshan''s back, I held him. The moment Eshan had hugged me, all those familiar feelings his closeness brings had rushed to my heart. It was as if someone had placed the world''s softest and warmest blanket over my cold body.


    I''d missed this.


    I''d missed his warmth.


    I''d missed his voice.


    I''d missed his comforting hugs.


    I''d missed Him.


    I''d missed the feeling of safe heaven only he could provide.


    I''d missed my home.


    I'' missed my bliss.


    Until this moment, I had not acknowledged to myself how much I missed him. I thought it was because of the guilt of my rash behavior that day. Whatever I had been feeling all along was because of hurt I had caused him, at least that was what I believed.


    However, at this moment, all of that seemed worthless to me, all the logic, reasoning, assumptions, and explanations, nothing mattered. The truth was straight and simple, there in my face- I had missed him as his wife. Not as a guilty person.


    "I''m Sorry! I''m so sorry Innaya," I heard his low mumbling against my hair. He was continuously apologizing, and for what, I had no idea. There had been very little to do with him, rather it was my fault all along. Had I been a little patient, nothing would have happened.


    This hurt, pain we both went through could have been avoided, only if¡­


    We just held each other close to ourselves after a long, torturous wait of sixty days. All pent-up emotions were now bared, and I could not help but weep in relief.


    Up until today, I didn''t know whom to turn to for help. I wanted to see Eshan, explain to him my reasons, and then maybe, I would have asked for forgiveness.


    There had been times in the last two months, where I had blamed him. I had thought he understood me, but then he left abruptly from my life. I thought he had enough of me; he was fed up with having such a wife. Wasn''t he the one to rush our marriage? Had he not married me, nothing would have happened.


    I blamed him for my agonized self, I did, but now considering the state of man in my arms, I reflected upon myself. His broken apology pierced my heart. What was he apologizing for? I should be the one asking for forgiveness.


    We sat there hugging each other, relishing the closeness. I started feeling relaxed in his arms. Some matters needed a thorough discussion. We had so much piled up in-between us, unless we talked things through, the invisible knot in our relationship wouldn''t resolve. It would only hurt us.


    Suddenly Eshan untangled himself and backed away little. His withdrawal shocked me to the whole another different level.


    What was wrong?


    Was he still angry? Here I was planning on sorting out things, but judging from Eshan''s reaction, things didn''t look that simple.


    With his head downcast, shoulders slumped in defeat, he scrambled away from me. He was not the man I had come to know. The tear that rolled down from his eyes, brought another wave of pain. The guilt poking at my consciousness was so damn heavy to handle.


    I opened my mouth to apologize, but his next sentence bruised my already wounded heart.


    "Go Innaya. Leave Me."


    *


    *


    *

 Chapter 63 - I dont deserve you

    |Innaya|


    Have you ever experienced the feeling of extreme anguish? That feeling when you are very hungry, there''s a plate of your favorite food in front of you. You are just about to dive in, and the plate is snatched away.


    How would you feel?


    Maybe, that feeling would be able to explain one-hundredth of what I was feeling. Did I hear him wrong?


    Why?


    Did he not want me in his life?


    Why did he not want me in his life?


    I could try to apologies and ask for forgiveness, but the way he avoided me, it appeared everything had ended between us.


    However, the pain in his voice was unmistakable. I could see how he was hurting too. Then, why?


    "Leave me. I don''t deserve you," Eshan said with great difficulty. I could feel his chocked voice and his pain while uttering those cruel words. I could see it was hurting him.


    Wait, what did he mean by he didn''t deserve me? It was clearer than water that I did not deserve him.


    "Eshan?" My voice came out choked while tears blurred my vision.


    "No Innaya... I was at fault... I have hurt you... yelled at you when I should have explained patiently," Eshan retorted, shaking his head, not meeting my eyes and the way his voice faltered in- between I could see how guilty he felt.


    In this world, men found pride in never accepting their mistakes even when they were wrong. They always wanted the woman to bow down to them, irrespective of her being at fault or not. How I got so lucky to meet a man like him?


    "Even after knowing about your fears from the very start itself, instead of clearing them, I lashed out at you. I am bad, very bad. Damn me. I deserve to be in hell," Eshan mumbled, burying his head more in his bent knees that he had pulled up.


    I kept the fist against my mouth, pressing it hard so that I wouldn''t interrupt him with my cries. He was in pain, and his words were conveying the depth. I had never seen any man cry, in my life.


    What do you do, when you have to watch the man you deeply cared for crying before you? I had no answer. The best thing I could do was to let him vent out his pent up emotions.


    "I deserve to be punished. Punish me, Innaya. Leave me to let me live alone. Let me suffer, the way I am suffering from these past days. Punish me." His body shuddered. I resisted the urge to hold him again, yet the treacherous sob escaped my lips.


    Eshan''s head snapped at me, his eyes had turned red, and I had to bite on my lips with my teeth. The self-hatred in his eyes was so palpable that I shivered to imagine to what extent the whole incident affected this man.


    "In my mindless anger, I destroyed everything. I destroyed our happiness," Eshan helplessly shouted, covering his face in his palm, his voice breaking at the end. His shoulders shook, indicating he was crying.


    What had the one unfortunate event done to the confident man I knew? In front of his pain, my sufferings of the past few days looked nothing.


    I felt myself losing in his confession. Seeing him, so vulnerable, I felt my heart going out for him. He looked like a lost person, totally broken.


    Out of nowhere, I felt the strong urge to hold him, take away all his pain, and make him happy. Unable to hold anymore and watch him cursing himself, I embraced him, letting my hands roam in his hair and over his back, trying to calm him, comfort him, wishing to take away his every pain.


    "Shh... Eshan."


    He struggled against me, yet his attempts were not forceful. Even in such a condition, he was unconsciously careful of not hurting me, and that made me feel even more awful. I couldn''t breathe.


    There was a heavyweight crushing my chest. The uncomfortable feeling was making me helpless.


    "Don''t do this," I cried with my forehead pressed against his shoulder. "Everything is okay. We both were at fault. Shh, now we are together."


    I could feel him shaking his head in denial, trying to free himself. Not giving up, I held him more tightly, concentrating on assuring and calming him and myself. What was I supposed to do in such a condition?


    Eshan''s sobs echoed in the silent room, his every tear scorching my heart. His sobs slowly died down to whimpers. In my whole life of twenty-two years, I had never felt so helpless and heartbroken as I felt while witnessing him cry. He was beating himself over something, which was not his fault. It was mine. I wronged us. I jumped to conclusions without letting him explain. I had my reasons, but at this moment, everything looked worthless.


    Arjun was right; my past was not worth ruining my present. However, it was too late. It had ruined our present. We wasted so much time in pain, blaming ourselves, in isolation.


    All of sudden, Eshan''s body went rigid in my arms. I stiffened.


    Pulling back, I found his eyes closed, his face was drenched with his tears. I tried calling him by patting his cheeks only to realize he had fainted.


    Eshan''s condition worried me very much, I yelled for Arjun because I knew he was somewhere close. Fear gripped me of his well-being. I lowered his head in my lap and wiped his face, struggling to hold back my tears.


    The rushed footsteps neared, and Arjun entered running in a few seconds after I called for him. He helped me in lying Eshan on the bed before he rushed outside, telling me to sit beside Eshan.


    Dazedly, I followed his order, sitting beside the unconscious figure of my husband, lying on the bed motionlessly. Eshan''s apologies kept ringing in my ears as I stared at his face with glistering eyes.

 Chapter 64 - The unintended gift of suffering

    |Innaya|


    "What are you doing?" Arjun''s voice snapped me out of my guilty haze. He had a bowl and cloth in his one hand, and in the other one, he held a bottle that seemed to contain orange juice. "Keep pillows underneath his legs and open his shirt," he ordered wetting the cloth in what I assumed was cold water.


    I got up and did as he told. My hands shook a little as I worked my way on the buttons of Eshan''s white shirt. According to the way Arjun was taking things normally, the painful realization of it not being alarming for him dawned on me.


    Eshan had passed out in the past too.


    Eshan had fainted in the past too.


    Eshan had suffered as much as I had. Perhaps, that was a wrong statement. He had suffered a lot, a lot more than I had.


    Eshan had been suffering all along.


    I was such a fool to think that he had left me out of anger. How could I even bring myself to think that when it was Eshan in question? I was being foolishly ignorant all along. Eshan was too good to leave me out of rage. He was just too good to do that.


    He had been away, but he wasn''t punishing me.


    He was punishing himself.


    He was punishing himself when in reality, if there was anyone to be blamed, accused, punished, and perhaps, hit ¨C it was me. He didn''t deserve to suffer the way he did. It should have been me. It was me, but once again, like always, Eshan had taken it on himself, conveniently ignoring my faults and focusing only on where he had gone wrong.


    How did I even get so lucky to get someone like him as my companion for the rest of the life?


    As far as I remembered, I had done nothing good enough for the same, and neither my fate had been good enough but it seemed like, I just got way too lucky when God was giving out gems.


    My heart ached even more as I looked at unconscious Eshan. His paled face continued making me feel horrible about myself for, I was the sole reason behind whatever condition he was, and he had been in.


    "Here." Arjun pushed the wet cloth in my hand and turned to open the windows. "Wipe his face and neck. He shall be up soon."


    Keeping my emotions at bay, I focused on the task in my hand. However, few tears managed to escape as I wiped Eshan''s face. "It isn''t the first time." It was not a question because it was the truth and rather a painful one.


    Arjun just hummed in agreement.


    Eshan stirred, blinking his eyes, and I suddenly felt alive. Arjun returned to the other side of the bed. Opening up the lid with his other hand, he raised Eshan''s head a little and supported it there as he brought the tip of the bottle near Eshan''s lips.


    My eyes refused to leave Eshan''s face. With his eyes closed, Eshan sipped on the juice little by little. Arjun had that soft look on his face, and there was a hint of sympathy in his blue eyes.


    Around five minutes later, Arjun pulled back the bottle and slowly lowered Eshan''s head on the bed.


    "Don''t move and keep your eyes closed," Arjun ordered, his tone was gentle but firm. Eshan nodded before his body relaxed on its own.


    It was like watching a routine. They both were almost behaving in synchronization.


    Arjun gestured towards the door, silently asking me to leave through his eyes.


    I did not want to, but I compelled him. Casting a last look towards Eshan, whose face held a troubled expression, I left, giving them the privacy Arjun wanted.


    *


    Leaning my back against the wall exactly opposite to the door I had closed on my way outside, I looked at my feet. My thoughts revolved around everything that had happened so far.


    To forget something, we must learn to forgive. Was forgiving someone that easy? I wondered to myself.


    I had not forgotten what that sorry excuse of a human being did to my mother and me, and certainly, I had not forgiven him for destroying our lives with his greed. Try as hard I might, but I could never forget the things, and that made trusting someone difficult for me. I have always had trust issues. Always.


    When I was a teenager, I had practically vowed to never marry and let a man have my heart, only to destroy it into the infinite pieces mercilessly.


    I had to protect my heart and myself. As I grew up, I treasured that promise with everything I had, not letting another man in my thoughts, dreams, and most importantly in my life. Eshan entered my life, and before I could even realize, that promise was broken.


    Eshan was something else. He was someone else. Someone who I hadn''t thought existed. He was one of his kinds.


    Not that I had so much knowledge about the male company and their behavior, but regardless it was the truth. I had never seen anyone like the man who was inside, oblivious to the turmoil he had put me through.


    Was that how he felt every time my past had resurfaced, taking me into its clutches, and I had lost myself in the darkness?


    Would he dare to forgive me for putting false allegations on him?


    Would he dare to forgive me for comparing him to someone as disgusting as my father?


    Would he dare to forget that I had thought so low about him despite having spent a considerable amount of time with him to know what kind of a person he was? But more than that, would he dare to forgive me for the same?


    He might, but perhaps, I would never be able to forgive myself.


    My heart flipped in nervousness regarding Eshan''s reaction to my presence. Agreed we were talking before he fainted, but that was different.


    Would he not want to see my face again?


    Was he regretting marrying me?


    Was everything over between us?


    *

 Chapter 65 - I ruined everything

    |Innaya|


    Something was off, I deduced from the unexplainably weirdly silent home and spotting Eshan at home. I tilted my wrist to watch the time. It was three in the afternoon. He was supposed to be at work. How come, was he back so early?


    I was dragged to the mall by Siya, and we spent hours while Siya was trying and confirming several outfits. I didn''t inform Eshan for I thought he must be busy at work. Besides, I knew I would be home before him, but I was surprised to find him home.


    I walked in, closing the door behind me. I smiled at Eshan who was in the kitchen, pouring water in a glass, but he looked too lost to acknowledge my presence. Before I could keep my bags on the couch in the main hall and proceed towards him, he had already made his way upstairs.


    What? He didn''t even spare me a glance? That wasn''t Eshan. That couldn''t be Eshan. I was baffled at the scenario. Never before, I had to deal with his ignorance, but then, I was quick enough to realize that perhaps, he hadn''t seen me in the first place to ignore.


    His lost expression flashed before my eyes again and again. He was tensed but for what? The day was just another normal day. He was fine in the morning. Could it be some matter of the office? I wondered before I quickly freshened up in the guest room right beside the kitchen, prepared tea for him, poured it in his mug, and headed towards our room.


    When I reached near the door of our room, I was met with another unusual sight. Eshan was standing near the balcony with his phone in his hand. He was listening to a poignant song.


    Eshan wasn''t fond of sad songs. He would move to somewhere else if he heard it playing where he was, and that was when I knew ¨C something was severely wrong.


    *


    "Do you want me to go?" Eshan and I had been sitting in our room for almost half an hour ¨C in silence. He had never been that quiet with me earlier.


    I had never seen him as disturbed as I did, that day. Though one could argue that it had been just a couple of months since we were known of each other''s existence but then, we shared a different understanding, and it was a little too deep for people who were still exploring each other.


    He stayed quiet and I decided to take it as a hint to leave him alone though a part of me refused to but who better than I knew that at times, one must be given the needed space.


    I rose on my feet from the bed and was about to show myself the exit when I felt his grip on my wrist, and I sat back wordlessly.


    "I am sorry."


    Hearing his apology made me feel guilty. Perhaps, he thought that his silence was affecting me, and I wouldn''t lie ¨C it indeed was affecting me but not in a way he thought. He had got me worried. I grew even more concerned, watching a teardrop fall on my hand that was still in his hold.


    "Eshan, please," I shifted a little closer to him. My hand reached to his cheek almost as a reflex, wiping his cheek. "You''ve always been there for me. This time, let me do that for you. Please, tell me what''s bothering you."


    He had always comforted me in need.


    He had always stayed without even asking for.


    He had done a lot for me.


    It was my time to do something for him.


    "I was watching a movie. The couple in the movie was irrevocably in love with each other but one misunderstanding¡­ and, they were pulled apart from each other¡­ forever."


    ''Oh, what?'' He took me by surprise. Had he not told me, I would have never been able to figure out on my own that he was upset over some fictional movie. I wouldn''t even have considered that possibility.


    His cracked voice told the tale of his misery. Was it just about the movie or there was something more to it? I wondered.


    Slowly pulling my hand from him, I got up. I was aware of his eyes that followed me all the way to the side-table from where I poured the water in a glass from the jug. I handed it to him, and he obliged without any attempt of denying.


    His fingers were curled around the glass, but the glass hadn''t touched his lips yet.


    "Drink, Eshan," I urged him earnestly. Irrespective of the reason for his anguish, all that my restless heart wanted was him to feel better.


    I heaved a relieved sigh on watching him taking a few sips of water. I took back the glass from him, kept it on its original position, and returned to Eshan.


    "It was just a movie, Eshan. Why would you get yourself this worked up for some fiction?" I asked, genuinely willing to know what it was that had got him so upset. As I pondered a little, I was almost sure that it wasn''t only about the movie. Eshan wasn''t that kind of person. There had to be something else that had bothered him to the extent where he couldn''t hold back his emotions.


    "It wasn''t just a movie, Innaya. It was a movie where¡­ in the leads¡­ I saw ¨C us."


    ''Us¡­ in the leads?'' I was beginning to understand where it was heading, but I chose silence for, I didn''t wish to presume anything. I waited for him to continue, for I wanted to hear it from him.


    "I don''t know why, but I saw us in them. I could just relate to them. They had an arranged marriage, like us. They adored each other like we¡­" He trailed off, perhaps, unsure of saying it aloud for we still weren''t at that stage yet. "And just when they were at the peak of their affection¡­ one misunderstanding¡­ ended everything. It just got me thinking -"


    "That the incident would repeat with us," I completed the rest of his sentence.


    Eshan looked at me, horrified. Deep down, in some corner of his heart, he had the same thing, but hearing it from me just added on the damage. He exhaled before he softly pulled me beside him.


    "I am just afraid, Innaya. The mere thought is deadly. What we have¡­ is precious to me, and I can''t afford losing it."


    His honest confession moved me, and for several moments, I was at a loss of words. I just did not know what I was supposed to say at that moment. Words, anyway, had never really been in my favor. I do not know what came over me that made me turn to him. I circled my hands around his neck. "So can''t I, Eshan¡­ so can''t I," I mumbled in his embrace.


    I knew, his fear wasn''t something to be taken so seriously. It was just a movie. ''It was just a movie, Innaya.'' I assured and reassured myself.


    Eshan and I weren''t going to go through the pain of separation. His understanding was beyond the understanding of a normal person. He would never misunderstand me. Even if something happened, he would always be patient enough to wait until everything resolved.


    I knew he was a gem of a person. There was no debate about the same in my mind. I would never misunderstand him for, for once, the sun could forget rising, but Eshan would never do something to purposely hurt me in any way, and even if it happened, someday, I would hold on to him, as patiently as he had always done.


    I would never go away from him.


    He would never go away from me.


    What happened to the couple in the movie would never happen to us. We would not let it happen.


    *


    *


    *


    Once I was out of the memory lane, my tears saw no end. Such a pathetic person I had been all along. I had promised that day to myself that no matter what happened, I would hold on to him patiently.


    I had failed myself.


    I had failed him.


    I had failed his love.


    How could I do it to him? How could I do it, to us? I ruined everything. I ruined everything.

 Chapter 66 - I do not hate you...

    |Innaya|


    Something was off, I deduced from the unexplainably weirdly silent home and spotting Eshan at home. I tilted my wrist to watch the time. It was three in the afternoon. He was supposed to be at work. How come, was he back so early?


    I was dragged to the mall by Siya, and we spent hours while Siya was trying and confirming several outfits. I didn''t inform Eshan for I thought he must be busy at work. Besides, I knew I would be home before him, but I was surprised to find him home.


    I walked in, closing the door behind me. I smiled at Eshan who was in the kitchen, pouring water in a glass, but he looked too lost to acknowledge my presence. Before I could keep my bags on the couch in the main hall and proceed towards him, he had already made his way upstairs.


    What? He didn''t even spare me a glance? That wasn''t Eshan. That couldn''t be Eshan. I was baffled at the scenario. Never before, I had to deal with his ignorance, but then, I was quick enough to realize that perhaps, he hadn''t seen me in the first place to ignore.


    His lost expression flashed before my eyes again and again. He was tensed but for what? The day was just another normal day. He was fine in the morning. Could it be some matter of the office? I wondered before I quickly freshened up in the guest room right beside the kitchen, prepared tea for him, poured it in his mug, and headed towards our room.


    When I reached near the door of our room, I was met with another unusual sight. Eshan was standing near the balcony with his phone in his hand. He was listening to a poignant song.


    Eshan wasn''t fond of sad songs. He would move to somewhere else if he heard it playing where he was, and that was when I knew ¨C something was severely wrong.


    *


    "Do you want me to go?" Eshan and I had been sitting in our room for almost half an hour ¨C in silence. He had never been that quiet with me earlier.


    I had never seen him as disturbed as I did, that day. Though one could argue that it had been just a couple of months since we were known of each other''s existence but then, we shared a different understanding, and it was a little too deep for people who were still exploring each other.


    He stayed quiet and I decided to take it as a hint to leave him alone though a part of me refused to but who better than I knew that at times, one must be given the needed space.


    I rose on my feet from the bed and was about to show myself the exit when I felt his grip on my wrist, and I sat back wordlessly.


    "I am sorry."


    Hearing his apology made me feel guilty. Perhaps, he thought that his silence was affecting me, and I wouldn''t lie ¨C it indeed was affecting me but not in a way he thought. He had got me worried. I grew even more concerned, watching a teardrop fall on my hand that was still in his hold.


    "Eshan, please," I shifted a little closer to him. My hand reached to his cheek almost as a reflex, wiping his cheek. "You''ve always been there for me. This time, let me do that for you. Please, tell me what''s bothering you."


    He had always comforted me in need.


    He had always stayed without even asking for.


    He had done a lot for me.


    It was my time to do something for him.


    "I was watching a movie. The couple in the movie was irrevocably in love with each other but one misunderstanding¡­ and, they were pulled apart from each other¡­ forever."


    ''Oh, what?'' He took me by surprise. Had he not told me, I would have never been able to figure out on my own that he was upset over some fictional movie. I wouldn''t even have considered that possibility.


    His cracked voice told the tale of his misery. Was it just about the movie or there was something more to it? I wondered.


    Slowly pulling my hand from him, I got up. I was aware of his eyes that followed me all the way to the side-table from where I poured the water in a glass from the jug. I handed it to him, and he obliged without any attempt of denying.


    His fingers were curled around the glass, but the glass hadn''t touched his lips yet.


    "Drink, Eshan," I urged him earnestly. Irrespective of the reason for his anguish, all that my restless heart wanted was him to feel better.


    I heaved a relieved sigh on watching him taking a few sips of water. I took back the glass from him, kept it on its original position, and returned to Eshan.


    "It was just a movie, Eshan. Why would you get yourself this worked up for some fiction?" I asked, genuinely willing to know what it was that had got him so upset. As I pondered a little, I was almost sure that it wasn''t only about the movie. Eshan wasn''t that kind of person. There had to be something else that had bothered him to the extent where he couldn''t hold back his emotions.


    "It wasn''t just a movie, Innaya. It was a movie where¡­ in the leads¡­ I saw ¨C us."


    ''Us¡­ in the leads?'' I was beginning to understand where it was heading, but I chose silence for, I didn''t wish to presume anything. I waited for him to continue, for I wanted to hear it from him.


    "I don''t know why, but I saw us in them. I could just relate to them. They had an arranged marriage, like us. They adored each other like we¡­" He trailed off, perhaps, unsure of saying it aloud for we still weren''t at that stage yet. "And just when they were at the peak of their affection¡­ one misunderstanding¡­ ended everything. It just got me thinking -"


    "That the incident would repeat with us," I completed the rest of his sentence.


    Eshan looked at me, horrified. Deep down, in some corner of his heart, he had the same thing, but hearing it from me just added on the damage. He exhaled before he softly pulled me beside him.


    "I am just afraid, Innaya. The mere thought is deadly. What we have¡­ is precious to me, and I can''t afford losing it."


    His honest confession moved me, and for several moments, I was at a loss of words. I just did not know what I was supposed to say at that moment. Words, anyway, had never really been in my favor. I do not know what came over me that made me turn to him. I circled my hands.

 Chapter 67 - Suffocating Silence

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 Chapter 68 - What was she doing?

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 Chapter 69 - I kissed him

    Innaya''s POV


    *


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    *


    *


    *


    *


    *


    The sweat beads of perspiration on my forehead threatened to roll down, yet I made no move to wipe them away. Walking my way back home never felt so dreadful. The scorching heat of the sun was making it impossible to stay in his presence. Briskly finding the shadows to dodge myself from being directly in contact with blazing sunrays, I walked alongside them, even though I could easily hail the taxi to avoid the current discomfort. I pushed back some hair stands that escaped from the messy bun I have tied them in before leaving the college.


    "Anger is never a solution to any problem. So always, understand the situation first before reacting, Innu."


    Grandpa''s words floated in my mind and before I could realize I was slowing down my steps. Few deep breaths with closed eyes helped me cool down the bubbling anger but more than anger, it was the frustration of sudden arrival of the unexpected alliance.


    I was in college enjoying the break we got after extremely long lecture of Prof. Verma when mom called, asking to return as soon as possible, as the person chosen by my late Grandpa and my to-be-in-laws were visiting us to decide the marriage date. They wanted the engagement of us to be done as soon as possible and marriage within the span of a month, as after that they didn''t have any auspicious date for next two years.


    I had my own reasons. I never wanted to get married. To start with, I just couldn''t get it how my family, who supported me in every step, had stood with me always and somewhere they had an idea about my opinions on this topic still wanted me to get married to him, refusing to listen to my reasons.


    On top of everything, that person without meeting me for once, not knowing me personally, agreed to this alliance only because he knew my Grandpa. God! In this 21st century people like ''Eshan Sighaniya'' even exists, seriously.


    I increased my pace as the familiar mansion with the cream and maroon color came into my line of sight.


    "Mom... How could you do this?" I asked in rage, to my mother entering my home. Even though I tried calming myself but it did not help as I witnessed all the preparation, going on outside and from my peripheral vision I saw same was going inside the kitchen.


    "I have every right to do this Innaya. He is best for you. Moreover, your Grandpa wanted this," Mom answered giving me a glass of water. She must have noticed me visibly fuming. My eyes locked with the very same chocolate one from which I have inherited mine.


    "You are aware that I don''t believe in all of this, aren''t you?" I questioned getting frustrated with the sudden shocking news of my marriage with the chosen groom.


    "Innaya, come here," Granny called me while extending her hand towards me.


    Taking the hold of her outstretched hand, I settled beside granny on the couch with the gloomy face.


    "Sweetie, do you trust me?" asked Granny making me look at her. I stared at her face, she was in her late sixties, and she looked super cute with her spectacles riding down on her nose.


    Without a doubt, I nodded positively.


    "Then, do you think, I will take any wrong decision for you? I know him, Innaya your Grandpa knew him, and he is perfect for you. I only want to see you settled before I die," Granny confessed, cupping my face to one side, getting emotional.


    "Granny... please," I admonished, hugging her immediately.


    "It''s not like that. It is just - just that it is too early. I... I don''t know him and don''t you think, I''m too young for this? I am just 21," I fumbled after some moment of silence, still hugging her. I could never hurt her voicing my reasons even if she was aware of them.


    Granny smiled at me, as if she could read my thoughts at the moment and was certain, only Eshan would be able to solve them.


    Caressing my hair softly, she continued in tone, depicting her motherly warmth, "Sweetie, I knew, you will be thinking this, that''s why I have called him so that you both could talk without any third person and decide. I want this marriage to happen, however, with your consent Sweetie. Just give one chance to him for me, for your Grandpa and I know he won''t let me down."


    "Mother, but¡ª" Mom interrupted granny, her anxiety visible about the new turn of event when everything was about to be decided.


    "Naina. It is Innaya''s life. Let her decide," Granny dismissed in the final tone.


    "Go, Innaya, he is waiting upstairs in your room," Granny smiled while pushing me from my place.


    What, he is in my room? I stared at both the women with an are-you-serious look.


    Both of them just shrugged, and sent me in the room but not before warning me, to not do something inappropriate, knowing me very well, if wanted I could try to break this alliance.


    *


    I entered my room, taking a deep breath, thinking how to face this. I loved Grandpa very much and I so wanted to fulfill all his wishes. However, this one was not I ever wished for.


    The door of the room was wide opened and there, he stood looking the wall, which held pictures all over it, from my childhood to till now with my family.


    He, who was busy in observing those photos, turned around at the sound of my footsteps,


    "Handsome." That''s the first thought came to my mind.


    "Beautiful." He mumbled looking towards me taking a good time to observe god knew what.


    "Huh?" I asked perplexed. It was not that no one ever complimented me earlier but he made me feel the way no one ever did with that one look, and I hated to admit that.


    Something in his eyes stopped me from being rude, his honey brown eyes turned darker or the light played the trick, I was not sure, however, that beautiful shade engraved in my heart. His eyes captivated me in such a manner that despite me wanting to run my eyes on his whole frame I felt myself drowning in the ocean of emotions his eyes presented.


    "Photos, they are very beautiful." He answered after a while.


    Surely, he tried covering up as his gaze gave away the secret his lips tried webbing.


    I grew nervous under his intense gaze, but surprisingly not uncomfortable though.


    "Hi, Innaya... I''m Eshan, Eshan Singhaniya." He extended his arm for a formal handshake. He might have mistaken my nervousness, as discomfort in his company.


    "Hello" I replied, relieved that my voice came normal, accepting his hand. His skin felt warm, welcoming against my cold one.


    "Come sit," Eshan said, still holding my hand and leading me to the bed as if we were in his room and not mine.


    I sat, taking my hand back and keeping some distance between us, lowering my gaze to my entwined fingers in my lap. His touch made my skin tingle and his eyes, God they gazed as if they knew something I had no inkling about.


    I was grateful for the silence that prevailed between us for some time, it gave time for gathering my wandering thoughts. Eshan started conversation breaking the silence in the deep husky voice that demanded my full attention not the case I was denying for.


    "Innaya... I know this is not you are wishing for. You do not want to marry me and you have your reasons. Frankly speaking, I am also not expecting you to be ready for this marriage." I looked suddenly at him, surprised at his declaration. He just smiled in response, an enduring smile providing warmth I never thought any guy was capable of.


    "I know it''s difficult to get committed for the lifetime to someone whom you are meeting for the very first time, without knowing anything about him. That is the reason I''m here, to know, what you want... I expect you to be honest with your opinions about this alliance." Eshan continued in his deep soft voice looking in my eyes, putting me at ease unknowingly; implying that he does understand me.


    I silently listened to him. He gave me the chance, to express what I wish rather than having me feel obliged about Grandpa''s wish.


    "Thank you for thinking of me. I...I-" For the first time, I not knew how to explain things to someone. Having him, a complete stranger place my comfort above everything felt overwhelming.


    "Innaya" I looked up at his face from my lap hearing his strained voice as if it emotionally unsettled him to frame his next words.


    "Grandpa was the one from whom I learned the  business. He was like a father figure to me. I respect him a lot." Eshan admitted staring ahead, his face expressing sincerity of his words. The faraway look in his eyes had me thinking about his bond with my grandpa.


    "He always kept talking about you. He loved you very much." Eshan added, a small smile playing on his lips.

 Chapter 70 - Eshans Innaya

    | Innaya |


    Not too often in life, one encounters incidents that leave one debating, if to brighten up, feel remorseful or grieve on the same. I felt awful to admit that I encountered the very same incident.


    I was remorseful for I had made the man feel worst who had always, always stood by my side, always lifted my fallen figure, always held me firmly whenever my inner demons tried to pull me to the world of darkness, always stayed patient and loving despite I being ridiculously reticent about myself.


    I was grieving over the loss of what Eshan and I had. It was truly something else. Something so precious that losing the sense of him being with me had me lose every bit of my sanity.


    A piece of my soul wanted to brighten up on the realization that I was yet to lose him. I still had a chance. We still had a chance. Our relationship still had a chance. Perhaps, he would never trust me again, but the mere thought of having the 0.0001 chance that we could get back together left me with a small, faint smile.


    It had been a couple of minutes since I stepped outside the house, closing the door behind me. Though Eshan hadn''t explicitly asked me to move out, the vibe had reached to me that he wanted me to leave.


    I gave up. I tried my best to convince Eshan about my feelings. Well, if he refused to believe in my words then I must step back. Forcing him to understand my feelings was very cruel. But, that didn''t mean I was giving up on our relationship.


    Stepping back according to the situation was sometimes a better choice. I was just going to do that. I would step back for now and then would try again later.


    I didn''t wish to leave. I didn''t wish to but I couldn''t invade his personal space, not when he was already so bothered. Unwillingly, I had come out after asking him to take care of himself which I knew he would not.


    I wished to stay by his side and tend to his every need.


    I wished to sit with him and hear all that he had got to say... all that he had locked inside his heart.


    I wished to stand there and watch him sleep - peacefully.


    I wished to just stay there and let him know that, I was his. I wanted to be his, and no matter what happened, I would be his - always and forever.


    His Innaya.


    But, I could do none of that. None of that. It took me a long time to realize what he actually meant to me, and to what extent he affected me.


    It took me long to trust him.


    And, when I did - he stopped trusting me.


    How awful the entire scenario was!


    I knew I was supposed to leave the place alone, leave him alone, and even though it broke my heart even at that mere thought, I knew I had to do that.


    ''You must leave, Innaya.''


    ''You must leave.''


    I couldn''t be lingering around anymore, I commanded myself as I watched Arjun walking towards me.


    His eyes held a sympathetic look in them. Perhaps, he read the agony in my eyes.


    Wordlessly, I walked past him to his car parked out there and sat inside, not giving him the chance for confronting me. I wasn''t in the right frame of mind to do that.


    Arjun, as if understanding my silent emotions, came back and drove us home without putting me in the difficult spot that I was avoiding.


    I was about to step out when we reached when his tender call for me held me back. "Innaya."


    "I am fine, Arjun." Again, I did not even let him finish. I turned to him, and forced a smile, chanting the same again. "I am fine. I really am."


    I was foolishly going to repeat it a couple of times more to make him believe, but his stare shut me up and my eyes were again wet for I knew Arjun knew.


    I hated my tears. I hated myself. I did not consider it an embarrassment to cry in front of people. I just felt sick for dragging Arjun in my issues, my fears, my insecurities, and the entire fiasco that happened due to them. My tears hurt him, and that hurt me even more.


    "I believe it''s going to be okay, Innaya. I believe you two will be back together exactly the way you were." Arjun dropped his handkerchief in my lap, and he took off the car keys.


    My eyes lit up at his words. "You do?" I asked out of pure desperation. The desperation of the assurance that Eshan and I had a chance.


    Arjun nodded. "I do. Now, you go and take some rest. This has been an emotionally exhausting day for you. I am going out of town for there is some unavoidable work. I have arranged everything here.


    All the vegetables and fruits are in the fridge. Cook for yourself and eat because the maid isn''t coming today. I have ordered a meal from outside, but I know you don''t like it. Suit yourself. Bye."


    The piece of information Arjun fed me did make me a little upset, but I was in control of emotions. I had decided to stop playing the victim card and to take responsibility for everything I had done, and everything that had happened because of me.


    I, no longer, was going to trouble people the way I did in the past two months.


    I, no longer, was going to invest time in blaming myself.


    I, no longer, was going to sit and spend hours, wishing it had not


    happened what had happened.


    I, no longer, was going to do any of that.


    I had enough of myself, and more than that, people had enough of me.


    I had a past. A brutal one. A sickening past that would shatter anyone the way it has shattered me, but I, no longer, was going to allow it to affect the people I loved and the people who loved me.


    Eshan had spent days and nights to stabilize me, to get me out of my darkness, and to see the light. I wasn''t going to let it all waste.


    I was going to transform myself, into a better person.


    I was going to transform myself into a version of mine that I never thought was practical and possible.


    I was going to do what I had believed all along that I could never do.


    For Eshan.


    For him.


    For me.


    For us.


    I was going to transform myself and become the one he deserved.


    Eshan''s Innaya!

 Chapter 71 - What kind of a companion was I?

    | Innaya |


    Come away with me in the night,


    Come away with me,


    And I will write you a song.


    Come away with me on a bus,


    Come away where they can''t tempt us, with their lies.


    I want to walk with you,


    On a cloudy day,


    In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high,


    So won''t you try to come?


    I had always felt, Norah Jones had a way with words. A beautiful way that always struck the right chord. ''Come Away With Me'' had been one of my favorite songs for a long time, but it had never invoked the kind of feelings it was doing, today. Perhaps, because I was relating to the song on an extremely personal level.


    I never had a boyfriend. I never had someone in my life for whom I developed feelings - romantic kind of feelings - fluffy kind of feelings - intimate kind of feelings - until Eshan walked in and made his permanent space in my heart without my conscious realization.


    On a cloudy day,


    In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high,


    So won''t you try to come?


    The song fell in my ears again as I had put it on the loop, and I had an insane urge to rush back to Eshan. The lyrics, as if made for our situation, made me feel as if it was Eshan who was asking me to come to him.


    How could I not go?


    How could I not go?


    I pulled the phone closer and paused the song as the urge grew intense. I sat on the couch for a couple of minutes more, debating if I should go or I shouldn''t.


    There was no debate about if I wanted to or not. I was dying to go to him. Seeing him from afar would have left me content, but it wasn''t only about me. It was more about him.


    I couldn''t be selfish enough to suffocate him with my presence for the sake of my happiness, could I?


    I hid my face in my palms as the thoughts clouded my mind, and guilt refused to leave me. I breathed deeply.


    I wanted to be with Eshan, but at the cost of his peace? Never.


    However, as I thought about it more, the realization hit me that without me, he wasn''t in peace either. Sure, he might not be willing to see me, it might hurt him having me in front of him, but I knew, I was the elixir to his pain. Only I could take away all his pain, and be the remedy, just the way he was to me.


    He hadn''t left me all the times I asked him to, so how could I do that?


    I already saw what our separation of two months did to him. The two months that he was away from me did nothing but left him to suffocate with every breath he took. I saw it today, with my eyes.


    I must go to him. He needed me even though he wouldn''t verbalize it.


    Eshan needed his Innaya, and his Innaya would go to him. I promised myself as I stood up, tied my hair in a bun, and moved to the kitchen.


    I was going to make some food for him. He looked so weak. It took me nothing to know that he had barely eaten in these two months, and whatever he had, he hadn''t eaten with his heart, and that must be the reason, it didn''t help his body. He had lost weight.


    ''What should I make for him?'' I wondered. I wasn''t sure about what should I make for him. I did not know his favorite dishes, and it made me feel the worst.


    What kind of a companion was I?


    Eshan was aware of my favorite food right on the next day of our meet and on another side. I didn''t even know what he liked even after spending so much time with him.


    I felt horrible, but I fought the tears, not letting them drop this time.


    I picked up my phone to call Eshan''s mother to ask her about the same, but I pushed it on the kitchen slab the next moment. How could I ask her that? What would she think about me? In the four months of our marriage, I couldn''t even figure out my husband''s, her son''s favorite food?


    No, I couldn''t call her.


    Then whom could I ask?


    ''Arjun.'' A small smile crept over my lips as I lifted my phone again, and dialed Arjun''s number. ''Oh, no.'' I immediately pressed my finger on the screen, disconnecting the call. I hoped it didn''t connect.


    Calling Arjun and inquiring about Eshan''s favorite food would let Arjun know that I was planning to visit Eshan and he wouldn''t let me.


    I was dejected, not knowing what to do.


    I suddenly remembered something and scrolled through my gallery, and after a couple of minutes of searching, my faded smile not just came back but also widened in sheer joy.


    ''Thank you, Arjun.'' I was so grateful to Arjun that I was going to treat him once he was back. Arjun had forwarded me a bunch of pictures of their group months ago, and a lot of pictures had Eshan in the kitchen and the group having their meals together.


    One of the pictures that had caught my attention had the text over it - The Chef and his favorite food.


    I zoomed in and intently observed the dishes.


    Kadhi Pakoda


    Peas Pulao.


    Tomato Upma.


    Dal Palak.


    Capsicum Fry.


    Cabbage Paratha.


    As I looked at the dishes one by one, I realized what a gem of a person I was married to. He loved such a colorful and variety of foods, but never once, he handed over the list to me and demanded me to make them.


    He had done so many things for me, and I had done nothing.


    I did not know how I was going to match up to him, but I was going to initiate with cooking his favorite food for him.


    I checked the fridge once to confirm that I had all that I needed. Except for capsicums, I had everything. I wasn''t going to skip anything.


    I opened the bun and untied my hair only to tie them with a hairband. I then looked for my purse, after finding it and checking the money, I locked the home and headed towards the market.

 Chapter 72 - Struggling to find the way to him

    |Innaya|


    I glanced at the clock once I got back home after bringing the capsicums. I had more than enough time to cook. Fresh coriander''s pleasant odor filled my nostrils. I remembered Eshan telling me once that he loved the taste fresh coriander added to foods, and thus I brought it with capsicums.


    The six dishes weren''t hard to make. I loved cooking. I learned it from my grandma. Her culinary skills were on par with professional chefs, maybe, more than them. She had that unique taste to all the foods she cooked, and many little secrets tips of her gave a different flavor to them.


    I washed rice, split chickpeas, split pigeon peas respectively, and soaked them in separate bowls. When soaked they would take less time for cooking. The more time I saved in the cooking, the less time I would require to reach Eshan.


    I finished the chopping first before kneading the dough for parathas. Leaving the dough to rest, I placed one pan, one stainless steel pot, one iron and one stainless steel kadhai on the gas. Thankfully, we had a four-burner gas stove. Adding oil in all of them, I started to cook capsicum fry, kadhi, tomato upma, and cabbage simultaneously.


    Back then, I was used to handling the cooking of multiple dishes in my maternal home. Hence, it didn''t take me long to finish up with all the dishes.


    *


    I packed the dinner and put the Tiffins carefully in a bag. By the time I was done with everything, I had a smile on my face... a genuine smile that I rarely had in the past two months. I took off my apron and made it to our bedroom to change.


    I searched through my wardrobe for a particular outfit and was instantly disappointed after not finding it. I almost emptied the whole cupboard until I got it.


    The Sari Eshan gifted me.


    I hadn''t spent even five minutes in dressing up in the past two months exception being today''s morning. Make-up was out of the question, but today, I was going to get ready, again, properly - for him.


    It still took me not more than fifteen minutes to change into the red saree and put on some mild makeup. I couldn''t go beyond that. Artificial and materialistic things never appealed to me, and I know, it didn''t appeal Eshan either.


    <>


    I forgot to consider something really important.


    I didn''t know the route.


    Arjun had blindfolded me when he was taking me to Eshan.


    How was I going to reach to Eshan? I sat, confused in the car.


    Though it wasn''t the first time I had gone to that house. It was the very same place where my foolishness had insulted our relationship, but it had been two months to the same, and I wasn''t in the state of mind to note the directions when I had followed Eshan to that house, two months ago.


    ''If you want it with all that you''ve got, Innu, - you will always find a way. All you need to do is try, and you will see the entire universe helping you get to it.''


    My eyes snapped open as grandpa''s words replayed in my ears. I silently thanked grandpa for helping me the way he always did, when he was with me, and even when he was gone.


    I had to try, and I would try.


    The next half an hour was spent in recalling everything that I could about the directions to the house. Never before I had hated my memory as much as I did that day for I could only faintly recall and that wasn''t enough to get me to Eshan.


    There was no more time to waste. I started the ignition and led the car to the first few kilometers that I properly recalled until the car reached a square leading the road in four different directions.


    And, I was stuck in a square. I could not remember which way I was supposed to take.


    ''The right one... no... The left one... no. I was supposed to go straight.'' Ah, I had no clue but nonetheless, I continued on the right turn, sincerely hoping that it would take me to my destination.


    It was after I covered some fifteen-twenty kilometers on that route, I realized that I was on the wrong route for I recalled that there was a kindergarten on the way which I couldn''t see there.


    I took a U-turn and got back to the earlier square from where I had started, and I was stuck again.


    Left or straight?


    I could have googled the nearest kindergarten school to find the way, but my Internet pack had ended weeks ago, and I hadn''t bothered to recharge again. I wish I had.


    I closed my eyes momentarily. Eshan''s face came before my eyes, and involuntarily, I took the left turn. My heart continued racing as my gaze kept searching for the kindergarten school, and there was no bound to my joy when my eyes caught its sight. I was on the right road.


    <>


    Finally!


    I forced my feet on the brakes to stop the car once I was in front of the house Eshan was staying in. I unlocked my phone to look at the time. It was 9.30 PM in the night.


    I had left home at five, which meant it took me almost four and a half hours to reach the place where Arjun had taken me in less than two hours.


    I had struggled a lot to find the house. A lot. I took so many wrong turns and had to get back to the same place to try the other routes, but I hadn''t given up. I wouldn''t give up. I wasn''t going to give up.


    Taking off my seat belt, I grabbed the bag and my phone before I stepped out of the car.


    I was so anxious that while walking towards the door, the bag that contained the dinner almost slipped once, and my heart came into my mouth. I had made the dinner for him, and the thought of him not getting to eat it had me panicking. Destiny, for the first time, seemed by my side today. I caught the bag within time.


    For several minutes, I was standing in front of the door, figuring out how to ring the doorbell.


    How would he react upon seeing me?


    Would he ask me to go?


    Would he shut the door on my face? No, he wouldn''t do that. I knew Eshan that much, but a bunch of possibilities got me a headache as I thought about them.


    I could even take it if he slammed the door on my face. The only thing that I was afraid of was - he shouldn''t get irked enough to leave the place. How was I going to find him if he moved to somewhere else, to get rid of me?


    I was standing still in my place, terribly failing at dealing with the fears that were popping inside my head when the door was opened and I heard Eshan.


    "Come inside."

 Chapter 73 - Things gone wrong

    |Innaya|


    I stood dumbstruck as I watched Eshan opening the door wide for me to get inside. How did he come to know that I was outside? I didn''t even knock. I didn''t ring the doorbell either. Then, how? Did he have some sort of inner powers? I felt ridiculous even to have thought something like that. Inner powers? Seriously? I must be going insane with the number of absurd thoughts I was having lately.


    "Get inside, Innaya. It''s cold out there," Eshan spoke, curling his finger around the bag in my hand as he tugged at it. I noticed that he didn''t touch me. His hesitant gesture caused a painful lump to form in my throat and broke the stunned desensitized form of mine. I loosened my grip on the bag. Eshan took it from me, turned, and walked inside, leaving me to make my own decision. I slowly followed the retreating back of my husband and shut the door behind me to block the cold wind.


    After I entered inside, I stood at my place, not knowing where I was supposed to go. Eshan returned beside me after a while, and he draped something around my shoulders. I felt warm.


    My eyes found the reason for the sudden warmness, and I found it was a brown shawl. If it hadn''t been for his gesture, I didn''t know for how long I would have stood there. I was surprised for I hadn''t expected him to be as nice as he was being.


    I didn''t even realize that I was shivering until he wrapped that shawl around me. The heavy rainfall that had been greeting Mumbai every now and then had ceased, but it had left its chills in the air.


    "Eshan," I mumbled, glancing at his figure moving away from me. Was he leaving me? I wrapped myself up in that shawl and crossed my hands around my stomach, feeling dejected.


    Eshan stopped in his steps. Without turning back, he replied as if understanding my unsaid question, "I am getting you some tea. Have a sit."


    "Eshan, wait. I don''t want tea." I went closer to him as he stopped in his tracks, hearing me. I quickly reached in front of him. His gaze was stuck at the ground. My heart ached at the way he refused to look at me.


    I missed the deep emotions with which his eyes would look at me, earlier.


    I missed his loving staring sessions that would warm my heart.


    I missed everything about him. I missed everything about us.


    I missed the way we were - together, beautiful and content.


    I gulped the lump in my throat. It wasn''t time to dwell on those things. I had brought dinner for him, and indulging in past issues might result in him not having it. Thus it was better if he ate first. "I have brought dinner for you. Would you -"


    "Get it on the dining table." He pointed to his right, as he strolled forward. I quickly nodded, ecstatic that he was willing to eat. I hadn''t noticed the dining hall earlier because of the thick curtain separating the other side from the view. In the morning when I had been here we ate our lunch in the living room, and at that time the curtain was closed.


    I rushed back to the couch where Eshan had kept the bag, grabbed it, and followed Eshan.


    My eyes welled up as I reached the dining room. My eyes traced the wooden dining table. It was the copy of the one I had back in the Bangalore¡ª brown, circular, with the only difference being the number of chairs. This one had only two chairs. I knew better than assume it as a coincidence.


    I smiled at the attentiveness of my husband. My smile didn''t fade even for a moment when I was arranging the plates for us. Two months. I was going to have dinner with him after the whole two months. I couldn''t be happier than this.


    Eshan was sitting on a chair, quietly all the while. I couldn''t figure out much from his face except that he was subconsciously giving me a chance, and it was more than enough for me.


    I opened the boxes and plated the food one by one in two plates. I slowly pushed the plate in front of him, anticipating his reaction to his favorite meal, but his expression acquired not the slightest change. It was his favorite meal, right? I questioned myself as I suddenly grew extremely unsure and conscious.


    Eshan was staring at the plate for several seconds, and I had no clue, what was wrong if there was anything in the first place. Did he not want to eat the food I cooked?


    "Take the Capsicum Fry and the Cabbage Paratha out of the plate," Eshan said after what felt like an eternity, but in fact, it was not more than a couple of minutes.


    My heart sank as I heard him. He didn''t wish to eat them. I looked at the plate filled with food. Wasn''t they presentable enough? Did they not smell nice? Did they not look eatable? I had put in my heart in those dishes, and it hurt to know that he wasn''t going to have them.


    ''At least he hasn''t declined everything.'' I reminded myself, and it was still a victory. A small one though, but I couldn''t expect much from him. The fact that he was sitting in front of me and did not create a boundary between us had my heart. Maybe, he didn''t feel like having those two dishes now.


    I could never get tired of repeating how lucky I was to have him. None else could do what Eshan could. None else.


    A part of my heart was still doleful to know that he wasn''t even going to taste those two dishes. I held an empty plate and walked over to his side to take off what he denied to eat.


    I commanded my hands to work faster for I needed an excuse to get away from him to conceal my woeful eyes. My eyes closed momentarily as I finally cleaned his plate the way he desired, and I turned to head towards the other side when he gripped my wrist.


    Eshan. His touch was magically calming to my suffering heart, but no, I couldn''t stay there at that moment. I needed to scram because if I didn''t, he would come in sight of my wounded heart and tears of anguish only to end up holding himself accountable for the same.


    I couldn''t let him blame himself. Not anymore.


    I shut my eyes hard and did my utmost to normalize my voice to make sure it wouldn''t get him suspicious. "I''ll just be back after keeping this in the refrigerator." I had spotted the kitchen when the curtain had been opened for it was the open kitchen. It was just ahead of me, a couple of steps away from the dining room.


    But what I forgot was - it was Eshan I was talking about. He, out of everyone, would be the last person to fall for my pretense. I realized it once I was gently pulled back and turned around.


    Eshan got his hand on the plate, and he had to use a little force to get it from me as I unconsciously tightened my hold around it.


    "I am allergic to cabbage, and capsicum," Eshan plainly told me as if it was no big deal.


    I couldn''t move once his words sank in my system. He was... allergic to them?


    "I get severe respiratory issues and lose consciousness even with the consumption of a small amount."

 Chapter 74 - Things gone wrong (2)

    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.


    |Eshan|


    Decisiveness.


    The ability to make decisions correctly, quickly and effectively. As a businessman, I took pride in my decisiveness. I never did for once was indecisive, and that made me quite successful in what I was doing professionally.

 Chapter 75 - Insensitively negligent

    |Innaya|


    My face turned pale, my eyes glued to the two dishes that could have been the very reason for causing fatal harm to Eshan. I could have been the reason for that. Had Eshan been little careless or absentminded and had ended up eating any of that... I didn''t dare to imagine the consequences.


    |Innaya|


    My face turned pale, my eyes glued to the two dishes that could have been the very reason for causing fatal harm to Eshan. I could have been the reason for that. Had Eshan been little careless or absentminded and had ended up eating any of that... I didn''t dare to imagine the consequences.


    |Innaya|


    My face turned pale, my eyes glued to the two dishes that could have been the very reason for causing fatal harm to Eshan. I could have been the reason for that. Had Eshan been little careless or absentminded and had ended up eating any of that... I didn''t dare to imagine the consequences.. I could have been the reason for that. Had Eshan been little careless or absentminded and had ended


    My face turned pale, my eyes glued to the two dishes that could have been the very r.


    |Innaya|


    My face turned pale, my eyes glued to the two dishes that could have been the very reason for causing fatal harm to Eshan. I could have been the reason for that. Had Eshan been little careless or absentminded and had ended up eating any of that... I didn''t dare to imagine the consequences.


    |Innaya|


    My face turned pale, my eyes glued to the two dishes that could have been the very reason for causing fatal harm to Eshan. I could have been the reason for that. Had Eshan been little careless or absentminded and had ended up eating any of that... I didn''t dare to imagine the consequences.


    |Innaya|


    My face turned pale, my eyes glued to the two dishes that could have been the very reason for causing fatal harm to Eshan. I could have been the reason for that. Had Eshan been little careless or absentminded and had ended up eating any of that... I didn''t dare to imagine the consequences.


    |Innaya|


    My face turned pale, my eyes glued to the two dishes that could have been the very reason for causing fatal harm to Eshan. I could have been the reason for that. Had Eshan been little careless or absentminded and had ended up eating any of that... I didn''t dare to imagine the consequences.


    |Innaya|


    My face turned pale, my eyes glued to the two dishes that could have been the very reason for causing fatal harm to Eshan. I could have been the reason for that. Had Eshan been little careless or absentminded and had ended up eating any of that... I didn''t dare to imagine the consequences.


    |Innaya|


    My face turned pale, my eyes glued to the two dishes that could have been the very reason for causing fatal harm to Eshan. I could have been the reason for that. Had Eshan been little careless or absentminded and had ended up eating any of that... I didn''t dare to imagine the consequences.


    |Innaya|


    My face turned pale, my eyes glued to the two dishes that could have been the very reason for causing fatal harm to Eshan. I could have been the reason for that. Had Eshan been little careless or absentminded and had ended up eating any of that... I didn''t dare to imagine the consequences.


    |Innaya|


    My face turned pale, my eyes glued to the two dishes that could have been the very reason for causing fatal harm to Eshan. I could have been the reason for that. Had Eshan been little careless or absentminded and had ended up eating any of that... I didn''t dare to imagine the consequences.


    |Innaya|


    My face turned pale, my eyes glued to the two dishes that could have been the very reason for causing fatal harm to Eshan. I could have been the reason for that. Had Eshan been little careless or absentminded and had ended up eating any of that... I didn''t dare to imagine the consequences.


    |Innaya|


    My face turned pale, my eyes glued to the two dishes that could have been the very reason for causing fatal harm to Eshan. I could have been the reason for that. Had Eshan been little careless or absentminded and had ended up eating any of that... I didn''t dare to imagine the consequences.


    |Innaya|


    My face turned pale, my eyes glued to the two dishes that could have been the very reason for causing fatal harm to Eshan. I could have been the reason for that. Had Eshan been little careless or absentminded and had ended up eating any of that... I didn''t dare to imagine the consequences.


    |Innaya|


    My face turned pale, my eyes glued to the two dishes that could have been the very reason for causing fatal harm to Eshan. I could have been the reason for that. Had Eshan been little careless or absentminded and had ended up eating any of that... I didn''t dare to imagine the consequences.


    |Innaya|


    My face turned pale, my eyes glued to the two dishes that could have been the very reason for causing fatal harm to Eshan. I could have been the reason for that. Had Eshan been little careless or absentminded and had ended up eating any of that... I didn''t dare to imagine the consequences.


    |Innaya|


    My face turned pale, my eyes glued to the two dishes that could have been the very reason for causing fatal harm to Eshan. I could have been the reason for that. Had Eshan been little careless or absentminded and had ended up eating any of that... I didn''t dare to imagine the consequences.


    |Innaya|


    My face turned pale, my eyes glued to the two dishes that could have been the very reason for causing fatal harm to Eshan. I could have been the reason for that. Had Eshan been little careless or absentminded and had ended up eating any of that... I didn''t dare to imagine the consequences.


    |Innaya|


    My face turned pale, my eyes glued to the two dishes that could have been the very reason for causing fatal harm to Eshan. I could have been the reason for that. Had Eshan been little careless or absentminded and had ended up eating any of that... I didn''t dare to imagine the consequences.

 Chapter 76 - It was easier said than done

    Eshan brought me in, and I couldn''t voice any disagreement, for I was afraid of breaking down. I knew I would start crying if I opened my mouth. I would have protested if my body had listened to me. I turned my head in another direction, refusing to face pity in Eshan''s eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Eshan brought me in, and I couldn''t voice any disagreement, for I was afraid of breaking down. I knew I would start crying if I opened my mouth. I would have protested if my body had listened to me. I turned my head in another direction, refusing to face pity in Eshan''s eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Eshan brought me in, and I couldn''t voice any disagreement, for I was afraid of breaking down. I knew I would start crying if I opened my mouth. I would have protested if my body had listened to me. I turned my head in another direction, refusing to face pity in Eshan''s eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Eshan brought me in, and I couldn''t voice any disagreement, for I was afraid of breaking down. I knew I would start crying if I opened my mouth. I would have protested if my body had listened to me. I turned my head in another direction, refusing to face pity in Eshan''s eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Eshan brought me in, and I couldn''t voice any disagreement, for I was afraid of breaking down. I knew I would start crying if I opened my mouth. I would have protested if my body had listened to me. I turned my head in another direction, refusing to face pity in Eshan''s eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Eshan brought me in, and I couldn''t voice any disagreement, for I was afraid of breaking down. I knew I would start crying if I opened my mouth. I would have protested if my body had listened to me. I turned my head in another direction, refusing to face pity in Eshan''s eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Eshan brought me in, and I couldn''t voice any disagreement, for I was afraid of breaking down. I knew I would start crying if I opened my mouth. I would have protested if my body had listened to me. I turned my head in another direction, refusing to face pity in Eshan''s eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Eshan brought me in, and I couldn''t voice any disagreement, for I was afraid of breaking down. I knew I would start crying if I opened my mouth. I would have protested if my body had listened to me. I turned my head in another direction, refusing to face pity in Eshan''s eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Eshan brought me in, and I couldn''t voice any disagreement, for I was afraid of breaking down. I knew I would start crying if I opened my mouth. I would have protested if my body had listened to me. I turned my head in another direction, refusing to face pity in Eshan''s eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Eshan brought me in, and I couldn''t voice any disagreement, for I was afraid of breaking down. I knew I would start crying if I opened my mouth. I would have protested if my body had listened to me. I turned my head in another direction, refusing to face pity in Eshan''s eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Eshan brought me in, and I couldn''t voice any disagreement, for I was afraid of breaking down. I knew I would start crying if I opened my mouth. I would have protested if my body had listened to me. I turned my head in another direction, refusing to face pity in Eshan''s eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Eshan brought me in, and I couldn''t voice any disagreement, for I was afraid of breaking down. I knew I would start crying if I opened my mouth. I would have protested if my body had listened to me. I turned my head in another direction, refusing to face pity in Eshan''s eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Eshan brought me in, and I couldn''t voice any disagreement, for I was afraid of breaking down. I knew I would start crying if I opened my mouth. I would have protested if my body had listened to me. I turned my head in another direction, refusing to face pity in Eshan''s eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Eshan brought me in, and I couldn''t voice any disagreement, for I was afraid of breaking down. I knew I would start crying if I opened my mouth. I would have protested if my body had listened to me. I turned my head in another direction, refusing to face pity in Eshan''s eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Eshan brought me in, and I couldn''t voice any disagreement, for I was afraid of breaking down. I knew I would start crying if I opened my mouth. I would have protested if my body had listened to me. I turned my head in another direction, refusing to face pity in Eshan''s eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Eshan brought me in, and I couldn''t voice any disagreement, for I was afraid of breaking down. I knew I would start crying if I opened my mouth. I would have protested if my body had listened to me. I turned my head in another direction, refusing to face pity in Eshan''s eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Eshan brought me in, and I couldn''t voice any disagreement, for I was afraid of breaking down. I knew I would start crying if I opened my mouth. I would have protested if my body had listened to me. I turned my head in another direction, refusing to face pity in Eshan''s eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Eshan brought me in, and I couldn''t voice any disagreement, for I was afraid of breaking down. I knew I would start crying if I opened my mouth. I would have protested if my body had listened to me. I turned my head in another direction, refusing to face pity in Eshan''s eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Eshan brought me in, and I couldn''t voice any disagreement, for I was afraid of breaking down. I knew I would start crying if I opened my mouth. I would have protested if my body had listened to me. I turned my head in another direction, refusing to face pity in Eshan''s eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Eshan brought me in, and I couldn''t voice any disagreement, for I was afraid of breaking down. I knew I would start crying if I opened my mouth. I would have protested if my body had listened to me. I turned my head in another direction, refusing to face pity in Eshan''s eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Eshan brought me in, and I couldn''t voice any disagreement, for I was afraid of breaking down. I knew I would start crying if I opened my mouth. I would have protested if my body had listened to me. I turned my head in another direction, refusing to face pity in Eshan''s eyes.

 Chapter 77 - Neither cant I

    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.


    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me.

 Chapter 78 - Assurance Of His Words

    |Innaya|


    Finally.


    With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me. The sleeves of the T-shirt slipped from my right shoulder, and I had to keep it pulled up, and those shorts though thankfully reached past my thighs till my knees, yet the elastic was little loose. I secured it with the pin I had with me.


    After making sure that I was presentable and cleaned as much as I could do with bandaged palms, and only a wet towel, I debated on how should I call Eshan. It was quite an awkward situation for me.


    Until now, everything happened so suddenly that I had no chance of registering anything. Eshan had that effect on me. Everything related to him would occupy my whole mind, leaving me unable to process other things¡ª just as it did before. I had forgotten my pain and obeyed him.


    I was truly hopeless.


    The knocking on the door broke the dilemma I was in. "Are you done?" Eshan asked.


    "Yes," I answered him.


    The door opened, but no one came inside. I frowned being conscious of keeping the T-shirt on my shoulders. I craned my head to take a better look outside and see where Eshan was. However, all I saw was an empty corridor.


    Where was he?


    Soon I spotted Eshan''s figure, I sat properly when he neared the door. He entered with a tray in his hand. Eshan stood when his eyes found mine. His brown eyes flickered all over me as he took in my figure clad in his clothes. I nervously tugged at the T-shirt pulling it more on my shoulders. I hoped I was not looking ugly.


    Eshan averted his eyes and walked more into the room.


    The forgotten dinner was arranged in two plates. He placed the tray on the bed and left again. This time, when he returned he brought the medicine box along with him and sat at the edge of the bed.


    "Here. Eat your dinner. I''ll take a look at your knees," Eshan forwarded the plate towards me. My heart melted, and pained when I saw how he had only brought pulao mixed with kadhi pakoda. He remembered how I ate kadhi, moreover how


    I didn''t like cabbage paratha and capsicum. I didn''t know anything about him, and he knew everything regarding me. What a contrast!


    I sucked a deep breath when Eshan''s hand, held my bare leg to access the condition of my knees. Eshan''s eyes snapped to mine while he retracted his hand. "Is it hurting a lot? Do you need painkillers?"


    "No, it''s okay." I shook my head in denial. ''How do I tell you that I was startled by your touch?''


    Eshan watched me for a while before he picked the plate and handed it to me. "Start eating."


    "Eshan, it is fine, I''m not hungry. I''ll just go back. Thank you for taking care of me," I nervously replied to him. I destroyed his dinner, then how could I have mine peacefully?


    Eshan sighed. The vein on his forehead throbbed. He didn''t say anything but gripped the cotton ball, and without anymore delay pressed it on my right knee where I had scraped the skin. I hissed in pain. "Ahh. It hurts."


    "Oh, you can still feel the pain?" Eshan sarcastically snapped. I could see his tolerance was ending. Or was it anger for my impatience of getting away from him? Whatever it was, but it shut me up effectively.


    Eshan''s movement turned gentle when I started eating. He even blew the air after cleaning it. I found his action amusing, and I even forgot to eat as my mouth stayed open, my hand holding the spoon hung in the air.


    Eshan''s chuckle brought me back to the present. Embarrassed, I quickly closed my mouth. Averting my eyes, I focused on eating. The antiseptic liquid burned, and I had to stifle back the painful moans. When Eshan had bandaged my palms and arm earlier, it had also hurt. Why did I run out in the wrong direction?


    "Why?" Eshan voiced the question with little alteration.


    "Huh?" It was not that I didn''t hear him clearly, but I failed to understand the context.


    "Why did you run away?" Eshan repeated his question, this time asking the full question. He wanted to know why had I ran away, and I also wanted to know, but why in the wrong direction.


    By this time, Eshan was done with his work and kept away the medicine box. He now gave his whole attention to me, and his brown orbs waited for my answer. He didn''t rush me. How should I tell him that I didn''t deserve him? How should I let him know that he better leave me? He was so good, and he deserved the best. I was nothing but a nuisance for him.


    "Innaya. Have I lost the right to know your feelings?" Eshan''s hurt voice straight away lodged like an arrow to my heart.


    "No, Eshan. It''s not like that." I shook my head.


    "Then what is it? Please, say it. Why would you run away and hurt yourself? I understand that you feel guilty for not knowing about my allergies. However, is that reason enough to lose your rationality? What if something serious had happened out there?"


    Eshan didn''t shout nor did he raise his voice, but his eyes screamed the anger and worry he felt.


    "I don''t deserve you." There. Finally, I admitted it to him. "You are so good, you deserve the best. Just an allergy, you say, but is it only that? No. I know how serious allergies can be. Don''t behave as if it''s nothing. What kind of a wife I am? After marrying you - except for bothering you - what have I given to you? Nothing. I don''t even know your likes and dislikes. I don''t know what you''re allergic to. I don''t know about my in-laws. I never tried finding out. What must they be thinking? That they married some burden to their perfect son."


    I lifted my teary eyes at him for by then, I had completely lost control over my emotions. As I spoke more, I broke more.


    He was silently staring at me as if he had expected everything that I had just said to him.


    "I have been a pathetic human all along. I knew how I was. I knew I can never give anyone happiness. I knew I will only torment anyone I stay with. Yet, yet, I dragged you into my darkness, ruining the perfect life that you were leading. I should have denied the marriage proposal. I had

 Chapter 79 - Shes The One To Be Blamed

    |Eshan|


    The sky turned scarlet, painting the beautiful scenery as the setting sun left behind traces of soothing light for human eyes. In the busy, crowded, and bustling city like Mumbai, I was quite fortunate to find the place for building my home, which gave the feeling of peacefulness and being close to nature. I had taken efforts in developing it that way though. From childhood, nature fascinated me. I saw Innaya for the first time in the garden when she was an adolescent. Maybe, from there began my love for greenery.


    |Eshan|


    The sky turned scarlet, painting the beautiful scenery as the setting sun left behind traces of soothing light for human eyes. In the busy, crowded, and bustling city like Mumbai, I was quite fortunate to find the place for building my home, which gave the feeling of peacefulness and being close to nature. I had taken efforts in developing it that way though. From childhood, nature fascinated me. I saw Innaya for the first time in the garden when she was an adolescent. Maybe, from there began my love for greenery.


    |Eshan|


    The sky turned scarlet, painting the beautiful scenery as the setting sun left behind traces of soothing light for human eyes. In the busy, crowded, and bustling city like Mumbai, I was quite fortunate to find the place for building my home, which gave the feeling of peacefulness and being close to nature. I had taken efforts in developing it that way though. From childhood, nature fascinated me. I saw Innaya for the first time in the garden when she was an adolescent. Maybe, from there began my love for greenery.


    |Eshan|


    The sky turned scarlet, painting the beautiful scenery as the setting sun left behind traces of soothing light for human eyes. In the busy, crowded, and bustling city like Mumbai, I was quite fortunate to find the place for building my home, which gave the feeling of peacefulness and being close to nature. I had taken efforts in developing it that way though. From childhood, nature fascinated me. I saw Innaya for the first time in the garden when she was an adolescent. Maybe, from there began my love for greenery.


    |Eshan|


    The sky turned scarlet, painting the beautiful scenery as the setting sun left behind traces of soothing light for human eyes. In the busy, crowded, and bustling city like Mumbai, I was quite fortunate to find the place for building my home, which gave the feeling of peacefulness and being close to nature. I had taken efforts in developing it that way though. From childhood, nature fascinated me. I saw Innaya for the first time in the garden when she was an adolescent. Maybe, from there began my love for greenery.


    |Eshan|


    The sky turned scarlet, painting the beautiful scenery as the setting sun left behind traces of soothing light for human eyes. In the busy, crowded, and bustling city like Mumbai, I was quite fortunate to find the place for building my home, which gave the feeling of peacefulness and being close to nature. I had taken efforts in developing it that way though. From childhood, nature fascinated me. I saw Innaya for the first time in the garden when she was an adolescent. Maybe, from there began my love for greenery.


    |Eshan|


    The sky turned scarlet, painting the beautiful scenery as the setting sun left behind traces of soothing light for human eyes. In the busy, crowded, and bustling city like Mumbai, I was quite fortunate to find the place for building my home, which gave the feeling of peacefulness and being close to nature. I had taken efforts in developing it that way though. From childhood, nature fascinated me. I saw Innaya for the first time in the garden when she was an adolescent. Maybe, from there began my love for greenery.


    |Eshan|


    The sky turned scarlet, painting the beautiful scenery as the setting sun left behind traces of soothing light for human eyes. In the busy, crowded, and bustling city like Mumbai, I was quite fortunate to find the place for building my home, which gave the feeling of peacefulness and being close to nature. I had taken efforts in developing it that way though. From childhood, nature fascinated me. I saw Innaya for the first time in the garden when she was an adolescent. Maybe, from there began my love for greenery.


    |Eshan|


    The sky turned scarlet, painting the beautiful scenery as the setting sun left behind traces of soothing light for human eyes. In the busy, crowded, and bustling city like Mumbai, I was quite fortunate to find the place for building my home, which gave the feeling of peacefulness and being close to nature. I had taken efforts in developing it that way though. From childhood, nature fascinated me. I saw Innaya for the first time in the garden when she was an adolescent. Maybe, from there began my love for greenery.


    |Eshan|


    The sky turned scarlet, painting the beautiful scenery as the setting sun left behind traces of soothing light for human eyes. In the busy, crowded, and bustling city like Mumbai, I was quite fortunate to find the place for building my home, which gave the feeling of peacefulness and being close to nature. I had taken efforts in developing it that way though. From childhood, nature fascinated me. I saw Innaya for the first time in the garden when she was an adolescent. Maybe, from there began my love for greenery.


    |Eshan|


    The sky turned scarlet, painting the beautiful scenery as the setting sun left behind traces of soothing light for human eyes. In the busy, crowded, and bustling city like Mumbai, I was quite fortunate to find the place for building my home, which gave the feeling of peacefulness and being close to nature. I had taken efforts in developing it that way though. From childhood, nature fascinated me. I saw Innaya for the first time in the garden when she was an adolescent. Maybe, from there began my love for greenery.


    |Eshan|


    The sky turned scarlet, painting the beautiful scenery as the setting sun left behind traces of soothing light for human eyes. In the busy, crowded, and bustling city like Mumbai, I was quite fortunate to find the place for building my home, which gave the feeling of peacefulness and being close to nature. I had taken efforts in developing it that way though. From childhood, nature fascinated me. I saw Innaya for the first time in the garden when she was an adolescent. Maybe, from there began my love for greenery.


    |Eshan|


    The sky turned scarlet, painting the beautiful scenery as the setting sun left behind traces of soothing light for human eyes. In the busy, crowded, and bustling city like Mumbai, I was quite fortunate to find the place for building my home, which gave the feeling of peacefulness and being close to nature. I had taken efforts in developing it that way though. From childhood, nature fascinated me. I saw Innaya for the first time in the garden when she was an adolescent. Maybe, from there began my love for greenery.


    |Eshan|


    The sky turned scarlet, painting the beautiful scenery as the setting sun left behind traces of soothing light for human eyes. In the busy, crowded, and bustling city like Mumbai, I was quite fortunate to find the place for building my home, which gave the feeling of peacefulness and being close to nature. I had taken efforts in developing it that way though. From childhood, nature fascinated me. I saw Innaya for the first time in the garden when she was an adolescent. Maybe, from there began my love for greenery.


    |Eshan|


    The sky turned scarlet, painting the beautiful scenery as the setting sun left behind traces of soothing light for human eyes. In the busy, crowded, and bustling city like Mumbai, I was quite fortunate to find the place for building my home, which gave the feeling of peacefulness and being close to nature. I had taken efforts in developing it that way though. From childhood, nature fascinated me. I saw Innaya for the first time in the garden when she was an adolescent. Maybe, from there began my love for greenery.

 Chapter 80 - Emotionally Pathetic Mess

    |Innaya|


    " Thank you !" I gratefully looked at Arjun once we were away from the earshot of other men standing in the garden. He just saved me from being in an awkward position. Those hateful eyes of Sahil were still haunting me. For a moment out there in the garden, I had caught the scornful look on Sahil''s face. It scared me.


    Arjun just smiled in response and followed me to the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator and took out the almond cake I baked in the afternoon. Eshan and I had only finished half of it.


    "Cake? Wow! It''s my lucky day. Give me. Give me the plate." Arjun childishly snatched the plate from my hands. I smiled at his enthusiasm, being with him made me temporarily forget about people out there.


    Arjun leaned against the kitchen counter and started eating.


    "At least sit on the chair, and then eat," I helplessly said, seeing him gobbling it like a toddler, discarding all the manners.


    I busied myself with preparing an early dinner when Arjun did not move. "Do whatever suits you," I mumbled under my breath.


    "So?" Arjun raised his eyebrows questioningly.


    Puzzled, I waited for him to explain as I started washing the vegetables.


    "How are the things going on between the two of you?" Arjun asked, trying to be casual and uncaring, but in fact, he was worried. He did not know how things were because it was the first time he was visiting us after Eshan and I reconciled.


    I smiled at his concern. He played a big role in the improvement of Eshan and my relationship. "Good, thanks to you."


    "Where were you for so long?" I asked. I did not realize but I had missed him. For the two months, he was mostly around me, and suddenly when he disappeared, his absence was palpable. I missed him.


    "You missed me?" Arjun laughed.


    I nodded. I did miss him.


    "Innaya, I would say this again. Let him in. Let him know about your past when you are ready. These past days weren''t easy for him too. He also suffered. Don''t blame him, and don''t blame yourself also. I''m not saying all this for criticizing you. I just care about both of you," Arjun gave me a small smile.


    He placed his empty plate down.


    His words reminded me again of what had transpired in the past. He was right. I should let Eshan know about my past. I hummed in response.


    Then, I suddenly remember the photo because of which I had misunderstood and cooked something which was allergic to Eshan. I stopped chopping. Wiping my hands, I picked up my mobile.


    "Who''s the chef in this photo?" I pointed the screen towards him once I found that photo. Arjun had never said it was Eshan''s favorite food. I had assumed it, so I could not blame him.


    "Why?"


    "I made the dishes thinking it was Eshan''s favorites. I didn''t know about his allergies." My face fell, thinking about my incompetence.


    Arjun walked near me. "Now you understand why we need to talk things through. You saw something. You assumed something, and you acted accordingly. But, then what''s the result? You ended up being hurt, and he was hurt too," he gently taught me the important lesson which I had learned after going through so much of hardships.


    I inhaled sharply. Only if I had talked things through¡­ nothing would have had happened. Remorse of my actions again hit me and I bit my lips controlling an urge to cry.


    Arjun patted my head. "What you saw were my favorites, and I''m also a very good cook. Your husband is not the only one who can cook. Other people are also good at it," Arjun boasted, conveniently diverting the topic.


    "Why don''t give me a hand then?"


    Arjun looked at me in a surprise, not expecting that reaction from me.


    I laughed at his surprised face. Did he really think that I would ask him to cook? If he had not asked me to cook though that was just to take me away, I would have tried his cooking. However, I wanted to cook for him, to show my gratitude for his help. I knew that it was not enough for what he had done. Even if I were to cook every day for him, it would not be enough.


    "I¡ª"


    A loud crash sounded from the garden, and I abruptly stopped whatever I was going to say. Arjun looked towards me, and in that one look, I realized that the situation outside was not good.


    We both rushed out at the same time.


    *


    When we reached outside, I was stunned. The once peaceful ground had turned into a battlefield. The coffee table was turned upside down. Chairs were thrown aside, and in the middle of it were two figures locked into a fierce fight. My heart jumped in my chest when I saw Sahil delivering a heavy punch to Eshan''s stomach.


    Eshan staggered back, but he managed to stay on his feet. Considering the force used by Sahil, I was pretty sure it must have hurt like a hell.


    No one was stepping forward to stop them.


    My feet were frozen watching them exchanging blows. I was not ready to face Sahil because of how much he reminded me of my father. I could also not watch Eshan getting hurt. I could step forward and subdue Sahil for I was a black belt holder in karate, but I could not move. Tears of frustration gathered in my eyes.


    I was never good at watching violence. It reminded me of my past, horrific past. The scars of that period were still fresh in my mind. I would carefully avoid everything remotely close to violence.


    Watching the scene unfolding ahead was like a harsh reminder of my past. It was pulling me back into that zone- helpless zone.


    "Shut the hell up." Eshan roared angrily. I missed what Sahil said, for my ears rang with cries of my childhood self.


    "Stop, no- make it stop... please," I cried, covering my ears to block those voices. I was back to the time which had passed very long ago. I was back in that dark room; where except my battered body no other human being was present.


    "Ahh¡­ no, please, stop," I sobbed, dropping on the ground. The painful blows landing on my body were too much for my eight-year-old self. Even after so many years, I could feel the pain from them. I forgot everything around me. I wanted to break free from that memory, but I was helpless.


    My mind was trapped in that memory. Sahil''s action again transported me back in my past, leaving me in an emotionally pathetic mess.

 Chapter 81 - Scars From The Past

    |Innaya|


    ***


    "Cry, cry harder. No one is going to listen to you," the creepy voice of that disgusting man sounded from the distance.


    His sadistic laughter echoed in the room. "Hahahaha." I whimpered curling myself in the fetal position.


    With a crash glass bottle of the alcohol shattered in pieces somewhere in the room.


    I did not understand why the man who was supposed to protect me against everything had turned into a monster. The innocent mind of my eight-year-old self could not comprehend the enormous change in the man who was once loving and caring. I remembered him staying beside me for the whole night when I had fallen terribly ill. I was about four or five then, but I still remembered it.


    "You deserve it. Because of you, I''m in this condition. You''ll have to pay the price for it." The footsteps neared me. I shuddered with fright.


    "Mom," I called out for my mother. She was nowhere to find. Where was she? I wanted her to save me. I needed her beside me. Why was not she coming?


    My thoughts were broken when a belt cracked loudly against my back, and I cried out in pain.


    That was the first time I saw my father being physically abusive towards me. I did not know his reasons, but that incident was the start of my nightmarish life.


    ***


    "Innaya."


    "Shhh... It''s okay."


    Someone pulled my hands from my ears and those hands cradled my head. I blinked my teary eyes. Lifting my head, I saw Eshan''s worried face. I was still stuck in that horrific memory but as if my body had a mind of its own it limply fell in Eshan''s arms.


    I clutched him tightly against myself. I did not realize how he was before me. When they stopped fighting, or what others were doing, all I knew at that moment was Eshan could save me.


    "It''s okay. Calm down. Breathe," Eshan whispered in my ears, his hands patted my head and back. He gently rocked us, the action usually we do to calm a crying child. Somehow his actions helped me. I breathed deeply. I clutched his shirt tighter in my fist as I hid my head under his chin. I wanted that voice to be gone.


    "I... Eshan..." My voice trailed as I sobbed in his arms. I had circled my hands around his waist. Why was this happening to me? I just wanted to lead a normal life. Why was it so hard to be normal?


    Eshan continued to caress my skin, and his touch, as if magical, was helping my tensed muscles relax. He was my biggest strength.


    It was an undeniable fact. Maybe, I had done some very good things in my past life to have Eshan as my life partner.


    I had come so emotionally closer to him that involuntarily I had given him a right to hold me when I fall, to mend me when I break, to comfort me when I grieve - a right that I had never given to anyone in my life except him.


    I had never let my troubles, sorrows, and pain, be conspicuously visible in front of people. Never. In the starting years, Grandpa used to be there, but later I started hiding it from him too. I just did not want him to feel worried. The moment I would realize that I was going to go in ''a bad state'', I would immediately leave the place, refrain myself from the people, lock myself in a closed place even though I was slightly claustrophobic and bear my attacks all by myself.


    My past was so horrible and the pain was still raw that my claustrophobia did not feel enough troublesome in front of it.


    That was how my life functioned. That was how I functioned until I met Eshan. Once our lives were entangled, not a single day had been in life where I had to deal with my PTSD alone except for the last two months. Not a single day where he did not support me.


    He was beside me, in my every moment of pain.


    He was beside me, in every attack I had.


    He was beside me every time my inner demons took over me and began dragging me in the darkness. He - Eshan - never let those demons succeed. He always held on to me, firmly, and did not let me go - in the darkness. His warm embrace warded off the negative memories and those voices.


    Eshan hissed when my hand touched his back. Even in my muddled state, I heard him. Though, Eshan tried to hide it by diverting my attention by caressing my back. I still sensed his pain.


    How? I did not know, but there was a strong instinct in my heart.


    They were fighting. Was he hurt badly?


    I pulled back, to check on him. How could I be so careless? "What happened? Where are you hurt?" I asked him, trying to detangle myself from him. Eshan refused to let me go. He just held on to.


    "Leave. All of you. Sahil, don''t return until you sort yourself out. I won''t welcome you here if you''re going to insult my wife," Eshan sternly said. I could feel he wanted to say something more, but he refrained. Maybe, because of me. Probably he did not want to hurt me. He did not want to say something insulting to his friends before me. It was fair enough though. Some things were better said between those only who are concerned.


    I had forgotten about his friends. Eshan pulled me back in his arms, hiding me with his body from the views of his friends. I was grateful for his gesture. I was not ready to face his friends... At least not Sahil. I could not be selfish. His friends were worried about him. They had a right to know about him. Eshan should not drive them away. It would only create distance in their friendship.


    I opened my mouth to stop him. "Eshan-" I called his name to not behave in such a way. Eshan ignored me.


    "Leave. We''ll meet next week," he replied to his friends, and lead me out of the garden towards our bedroom.

 Chapter 82 - Bottom Line

    | Innaya |


    I felt like a selfish person for keeping Eshan away from them. They were his best friends. They had been with him for so many years. The bond those five people shared was something to envy because people did not get such kind of friendship easily. I had not. Because they were his friends, I hoped they understood Eshan. I hoped they did not blame him for not entertaining them.


    | Innaya |


    I felt like a selfish person for keeping Eshan away from them. They were his best friends. They had been with him for so many years. The bond those five people shared was something to envy because people did not get such kind of friendship easily. I had not. Because they were his friends, I hoped they understood Eshan. I hoped they did not blame him for not entertaining them.


    | Innaya |


    I felt like a selfish person for keeping Eshan away from them. They were his best friends. They had been with him for so many years. The bond those five people shared was something to envy because people did not get such kind of friendship easily. I had not. Because they were his friends, I hoped they understood Eshan. I hoped they did not blame him for not entertaining them.


    | Innaya |


    I felt like a selfish person for keeping Eshan away from them. They were his best friends. They had been with him for so many years. The bond those five people shared was something to envy because people did not get such kind of friendship easily. I had not. Because they were his friends, I hoped they understood Eshan. I hoped they did not blame him for not entertaining them.


    endship easily. I had not. Because they were his friends, I hoped they understood Eshan. I hoped they did not blame him for not entertaining them.


    | Innaya |


    I felt like a selfish person for keeping Eshan away from them. They were his best friends. They had been with him for so many years. The bond those five people shared was something to envy because people did not get such kind of friendship easily. I had not. Because they were his friends, I hoped they understood Eshan. I hoped they did not blame him for not entertaining them.


    | Innaya |


    I felt like a selfish person for keeping Eshan away from them. They were his best friends. They had been with him for so many years. The bond those five people shared was something to envy because people did not get such kind of friendship easily. I had not. Because they were his friends, I hoped they understood Eshan. I hoped they did not blame him for not entertaining them.


    | Innaya |


    I felt like a selfish person for keeping Eshan away from them. They were his best friends. They had been with him for so many years. The bond those five people shared was something to envy because people did not get such kind of friendship easily. I had not. Because they were his friends, I hoped they understood Eshan. I hoped they did not blame him for not entertaining them.


    | Innaya |


    I felt like a selfish person for keeping Eshan away from them. They were his best friends. They had been with him for so many years. The bond those five people shared was something to envy because people did not get such kind of friendship easily. I had not. Because they were his friends, I hoped they understood Eshan. I hoped they did not blame him for not entertaining them.


    | Innaya |


    I felt like a selfish person for keeping Eshan away from them. They were his best friends. They had been with him for so many years. The bond those five people shared was something to envy because people did not get such kind of friendship easily. I had not. Because they were his friends, I hoped they understood Eshan. I hoped they did not blame him for not entertaining them.


    | Innaya |


    I felt like a selfish person for keeping Eshan away from them. They were his best friends. They had been with him for so many years. The bond those five people shared was something to envy because people did not get such kind of friendship easily. I had not. Because they were his friends, I hoped they understood Eshan. I hoped they did not blame him for not entertaining them.


    | Innaya |


    I felt like a selfish person for keeping Eshan away from them. They were his best friends. They had been with him for so many years. The bond those five people shared was something to envy because people did not get such kind of friendship easily. I had not. Because they were his friends, I hoped they understood Eshan. I hoped they did not blame him for not entertaining them.


    | Innaya |


    I felt like a selfish person for keeping Eshan away from them. They were his best friends. They had been with him for so many years. The bond those five people shared was something to envy because people did not get such kind of friendship easily. I had not. Because they were his friends, I hoped they understood Eshan. I hoped they did not blame him for not entertaining them.


    | Innaya |


    I felt like a selfish person for keeping Eshan away from them. They were his best friends. They had been with him for so many years. The bond those five people shared was something to envy because people did not get such kind of friendship easily. I had not. Because they were his friends, I hoped they understood Eshan. I hoped they did not blame him for not entertaining them.


    | Innaya |


    I felt like a selfish person for keeping Eshan away from them. They were his best friends. They had been with him for so many years. The bond those five people shared was something to envy because people did not get such kind of friendship easily. I had not. Because they were his friends, I hoped they understood Eshan. I hoped they did not blame him for not entertaining them.


    | Innaya |


    I felt like a selfish person for keeping Eshan away from them. They were his best friends. They had been with him for so many years. The bond those five people shared was something to envy because people did not get such kind of friendship easily. I had not. Because they were his friends, I hoped they understood Eshan. I hoped they did not blame him for not entertaining them.


    | Innaya |


    I felt like a selfish person for keeping Eshan away from them. They were his best friends. They had been with him for so many years. The bond those five people shared was something to envy because people did not get such kind of friendship easily. I had not. Because they were his friends, I hoped they understood Eshan. I hoped they did not blame him for not entertaining them.

 Chapter 83 - I need a break

    |Innaya|


    "I need a break, Innaya. I really do."


    Eshan''s tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.


    |Innaya|


    "I need a break, Innaya. I really do."


    Eshan''s tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.


    |Innaya|


    "I need a break, Innaya. I really do."


    Eshan''s tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.


    |Innaya|


    "I need a break, Innaya. I really do."


    Eshan''s tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.


    |Innaya|


    "I need a break, Innaya. I really do."


    Eshan''s tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.


    |Innaya|


    "I need a break, Innaya. I really do."


    Eshan''s tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.


    |Innaya|


    "I need a break, Innaya. I really do."


    Eshan''s tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.


    |Innaya|


    "I need a break, Innaya. I really do."


    Eshan''s tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.


    |Innaya|


    "I need a break, Innaya. I really do."


    Eshan''s tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.


    |Innaya|


    "I need a break, Innaya. I really do."


    Eshan''s tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.


    |Innaya|


    "I need a break, Innaya. I really do."


    Eshan''s tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.


    |Innaya|


    "I need a break, Innaya. I really do."


    Eshan''s tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.


    |Innaya|


    "I need a break, Innaya. I really do."


    Eshan''s tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.


    |Innaya|


    "I need a break, Innaya. I really do."


    Eshan''s tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.


    |Innaya|


    "I need a break, Innaya. I really do."


    Eshan''s tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.


    |Innaya|


    "I need a break, Innaya. I really do."


    Eshan''s tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.


    |Innaya|


    "I need a break, Innaya. I really do."


    Eshan''s tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.


    |Innaya|


    "I need a break, Innaya. I really do."


    Eshan''s tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.


    |Innaya|


    "I need a break, Innaya. I really do."


    Eshan''s tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.


    Eshan''s tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.


    |Innaya||Innaya||Innaya||Innaya||Innaya||Innaya|


    "I need a break, Innaya. I really do."


    Eshan''s tired, fatigued voice caught my attention right at the moment he spoke those words. I kept the bed sheet that I had lifted to fold on the bed in the same untidy condition it was in and turned around. There he stood, near the door, with his face giving away his agitation.

 Chapter 84 - Just Two Of Us (1)

    | Innaya |


    Eshan acknowledged my presence as soon as I entered our bedroom. He sat up on the bed and straightened himself. I sat beside him.


    My smile grew wider as I held forward the bowl of Kheer in front of him.


    "Can I?" I touched the spoon, seeking his permission to feed him, and he almost instantly agreed. I could see his twinkling eyes and realizing that he was happy, was enough to make my soul smile.


    I blew some air to cool it down a bit as I filled a spoon and pushed it in his mouth and anticipated to hear it from him. I sincerely hoped that he would like it.


    His lips curled in a smile. "I love it."


    ''God. He liked it. No - he loved it.'' I could not tell him what and how much it meant to me. I just smiled a little more if that was even possible and continued feeding him.


    He silently ate. I sought my happiness by watching him eating peacefully.


    He had missed eating the food so much, his thin figure was the result of it.


    I was so glad to have him sitting next to me, and eating something just the way he would do earlier - happily.


    Eshan held my hand midway, taking the spoon from me. He dipped it in Kheer, and pulled out a spoonful of Kheer and put in my mouth when I had opened it to ask him what he was doing.


    My heart melted with that. Eshan. Eshan. Why did this man have to be this unimaginably sweet? Even at this time, he thought about me. How could I not fall for him?


    <>


    "Eshan," I called for him when he returned in the room after attending Arjun''s call, and patted in the space beside me on the bed, "come here."


    He was beside me right at the next moment.


    "Give me your phone."


    He handed over it to me without a tiny attempt of asking why. I put it in the silent mode and asked him to lie down.


    "You need to rest. Sleep for a while," I said but found his face acquiring a small frown, and he shook his head like a kid who had been asked to stop playing with his favorite toy.


    "Listen to me, Eshan." I pressed my hand on his shoulder, assuring him with my gentle gaze.


    I could see his unwillingness, but he lay down nonetheless. I pulled a duvet over him and rose on my feet to shut the curtains before I came back to him in the bed.


    "Close your eyes," I whispered and touched his forehead.


    He sighed, shutting his eyes and I sat there, caressing his forehead and hair until he slipped in a slumber. His face had relaxed, and by the time he fell asleep, calmness took over him completely.


    It was so relaxing for me to watch his peacefully sleeping form.


    "I love you, Eshan. I love you." It was audible only to myself as I was pretty conscious about not disturbing his sleep. I could not hold myself back from leaning forward and lingering my lips on his forehead.


    The only thing that I wished for at that moment was our break to never end.


    ***


    The cool breeze that entered from the window woke me up. I looked beside me and smiled at my husband''s adorable sleeping figure. Never did I think that I would adore a man to that extent.


    Heck, it was an alien thing to me.


    All the sweet, cute, adorable feelings and words - were not meant for me, I had thought at one point of time. I feel awful in admitting that I had always found them as ways of a show-off. I never thought they could be so beautiful.


    ''Thank you for coming in my life and for making me feel everything I am feeling, Eshan. If not you, I would have never felt the beauty of love.''


    Content in my own thoughts, I moved to close the window and headed towards the kitchen. I had not planned to sleep. I planned to make only Eshan sleep, but I did not realize when I fell asleep beside him. I had thought that I would get up for making dinner once he dozed off, but well, there was no point in thinking about it.


    It was almost 11 PM when I made my way towards the kitchen and prepared fried Khichdi for us.


    Eshan was in a deep slumber when I brought the plates filled with Khichdi to our room. I did not have the heart to wake him up. He was sleeping so nicely after a really long time, but eating was necessary too.


    I strode towards him and gently tapped on his shoulder.


    He did not respond.


    "Eshan," I softly called his name, asking him to get up and have his food.


    He did not even shift a bit.


    I let out a sigh. I mentally apologized, held his arm, and squeezed it until he opened his drowsy eyes at me, completely startled.


    Clueless, he looked at me, then looked around us as he immediately sat up. "What... what happened?"


    His hand slipped from my hold as he lightly grabbed my arm. "Is everything okay?"


    "Relax, Eshan." I put my hand on his assuring him. Perhaps, he was in a deep sleep when I woke him up which was why he reacted the way he did. I had often seen people doing that.


    "Freshen up and have dinner." I pointed at the plates that I had kept on the side table, making him understand the scenario.


    "Ah, dinner," he rubbed his forehead, "I am not hungry."


    I had expected the answer, and my response was prepared as well.


    "I am very hungry, and I won''t eat without you."


    I did a small happy dance in my victory as I watched Eshan getting up wordlessly, walking towards the washroom.


    We ate in a comfortable silence once he was back.


    I was getting up to take our finished plates to the kitchen to clean them up when his hand, held me back.


    "Shall we watch a movie?"


    "Sure." I gave a happy nod to him.


    "Which one?" he asked, and it got me confused. I did not have great knowledge about movies. I was never fond of movies. I had agreed just because it would give us more quality time. I could sit ecstatic beside him even in hurricanes, earthquakes, and Tsunamis.


    I just needed him beside me, and I knew I would survive anything. Anything.

 Chapter 85 - Just Two Of Us (2)

    | Eshan |


    Innaya and I had settled comfortably on the couch as I played the movie. Since I had built a movie room with a home theater a long time ago, I knew watching the movie would be a beautiful experience since I had my love beside me. I had desired to give everything to Innaya, and that was the reason I designed both the houses keeping our future together in my mind. I had worked harder for being able to provide everything to Innaya of the best quality. I did not realize when my life started revolving around her.


    No matter what happened, no matter what would happen - nothing and absolutely none could change the fact that I loved her. I was insanely and irrevocably in love with her. The kind of love that surpassed my every expectation, it amazed me how much I loved her.


    Had I not loved her to that extent, lashing out on her when it was actually her who did not trust me, would not have affected me enough to blame myself.


    I had taken it upon myself because I loved her way too much to not accept that it was my responsibility to take things smoothly with her. Knowing her fears, I should have dealt with the situation more patiently and carefully.


    I had been too busy visualizing her happy face after I gifted her, the new farmhouse, on our six month wedding anniversary. In that anticipation, I neglected our present.


    I sighed as I watched Innaya as she was immersed in the scene unfolding before us. We were watching- Me Before You. Innaya had suggested putting on something random that we had not seen earlier, and I got my hands on it.


    I did not know the story, but I wished I had spent some time in searching about the plot of the movie because, by the time we reached the end, my wife was in tears, she had gripped my hand as firmly as she could - to the extent where it hurt, but I did not mind that. If holding onto me helped her, then I would gladly bear the pain silently.


    At that moment, the only thing I wished for was that I had not played the movie. It was a tragic love story. Innaya kept her head on my chest as she held onto me. She did not let me go, and the feeling would have been beautiful had I not known the fears that were clouding her mind.


    "I am not going to go leaving you alone ever." I stroked her hair gently as I promised her.


    Her frightened petite figure that clung onto me brought me an insight of her fears, and I hated it. I hated seeing her scared, anxious, and frightened. It was just a movie. I reminded myself, and I told her the same, "It''s just a movie, Innaya."


    She shuffled away from me in response. I did not like the distance she created in-between us. I wanted to pull her back in my arms, close to me. Having her in my arms, always assured me and smoothened my heart. After staying away for two months, there was that constant fear of losing her, and I hated it. Thus, I wanted to be near to her as much as possible, and at the same time, I did not want to overwhelm her with my presence.


    Picking up a glass of water, I drank from it as I waited for her to speak. She stayed silent for a while, staring at the blank screen ahead.


    "What if destiny takes me away from you?"


    I heard her questioning me in her cracked voice. It was as if she was on the verge of crying again. I could not stay still anymore.


    Placing the glass down on the table, I pulled her in my arms. I tightly wrapped my arms around her. "I''ll find you from any corner of the world, Innaya. I''ll find you," I vowed to her and myself. I would never disappoint her, again.


    Innaya attempted to smile at me, but it came more out as a grimace. Her beautiful face devoid of any artificial makeup stirred an intense longing in my heart. "I''ll find you from any corner of the world, Innaya. I''ll find you," I repeated again. I did not mind repeating it again and again until she believed me.


    However, I did not need to say it again because Innaya this time smiled genuinely. The strong faith in her eyes shook my very core. She believed me, so easily. I slowly brought my right hand to her face. Gently stroking her cheek, I could not help, but lean forward and kiss her forehead. I wanted to do more.


    I wished to kiss that smile on her lips. Till this moment, I had not forgotten that blissful feeling of my first kiss- our first kiss. Who thought, our first kiss would be under such circ.u.mstances, out of the blue, totally unexpected. I had never expected Innaya to take the first step, and considering my horrendous appearance of that day, I should really appreciate her courage. Innaya was full of surprises and mysteries.


    As I pulled back, my eyes lingered on those pink lips, stretched in a blissful smile. I wanted to just lean further and explore the undiscovered and unmarked territory. Did not they say, the curiosity killed the cat, and it was the reason I held back my curiosity.


    "Eshan?"


    "Hmm..." I hummed in response, breaking away my gaze from those inviting lips.


    "I want to see the stars," Innaya demanded, her face little hesitant. Were her ears red? Why? I failed to understand.


    I glanced out of the window, only to see the starless sky. Why were clouds covering the skies today? I huffed. I suddenly remembered the gift I had received from Ayush. It was in my study. It could fulfill Innaya''s wish.


    "Wait here for me." I jumped on my feet and almost ran out of the theatre room, leaving startled Innaya behind.


    ***


    I never thought that Ayush''s gifts could be coming to my help in the time of need. Ayush had a habit of collecting different things, and if liked them very much he would bring an extra four pieces for each one of us.


    I entered the theater room at record speed after finding the things I was looking for. Innaya''s frowning face greeted me when I returned. I gave her a wide smile as I sat beside her.


    "Where did you run off to?" Innaya asked as she tied her hair in the bun.


    ''Oh no. Why?'' I liked watching her with open hair as they cascaded down her back. I held back my urge to untie them.


    "You''ll know soon," I smiled at her. After I attached the cord and inserted the pin in the socket, I switched off the lights in the room, turning it into full darkness.


    *


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 Chapter 86 - Just Two Of Us (3)

    |Eshan|


    "Eshan?" Innaya''s slightly panicked voice sounded from beside me.


    InstantlyI turned towards her and took her in my arms. Innaya''s tensed figure hurriedly snuggled in my arms as I felt her hand going around my front to my waist. She buried her face in my shoulders. Her nose rubbed against my neck as her ragged breathing hit against the bare skin.


    "I''m here. Don''t worry." I patted her head, feeling guilty for making her frightened.


    "I''ll switch on the lights," I said when she did not relax instead her body only stiffened.


    There are times in our life, where we plan things expecting a certain outcome. I also planned to give Innaya surprise, and fulfill her wish. However, sometimes things don''t go the way we desire. I learned it in a hard way. I was hoping to surprise her, but instead, I ended up scaring her.


    "Don''t," Innaya mumbled without moving away from her position


    During these months of our marriage, I did not recall Innaya reacting so strongly to darkness. I pressed my mind for thinking clearly, it was then I realized that there was never total darkness around her. In the bedroom, she would leave either a night lamp or her mobile screen on. How could I not understand that my wife was afraid of darkness? Then again, it was normal for people who suffered from panic attacks.


    "I''m sorry," I apologized for being ignorant towards such an important matter in my haste of surprising her. ''Why my surprises have to turn into shocks for her?'' I wondered.


    Innaya stayed quiet. Seeing her so withdrawn, I felt something breaking within me.


    Stretching my other hand, I switched on the planetarium star projector. The next moment, the darkroom was lit with, in numerous bright stars, allowing one to feel the mirage of being under the sky.


    Watching the darkness slowly fading away as the light from the projector projected stars in the room.


    I looked down only to meet with Innaya''s big brown eyes peeking at me. Unknown to me she had been looking at me, I did not know from how long. Her gaze resembled that of a child who was afraid of being abandoned by his parents. Exactly how much she had suffered to turn like this? It broke my heart to watch her like that.


    "What''s wrong?" I caressed her cheek with the help of my thumb. I felt the moisture under my thumb. What must be going inside that head of hers that would make her cry even for something as small as darkness?


    There were many secrets she had kept hidden within herself. I wished to know them, but I knew my limits. Some things could not be rushed.


    "Take a look, you wanted to see the stars right?" I diverted her attention. She would tell me what had upset her if she desired to. I would never force her to tell me anything.


    Innaya remained indifferent as if she did not hear me. She just stared at my face as if she believed I would disappear.


    "I''m here." The words left on their own from my mouth, I did not know who I was assuring, Innaya or myself.


    Innaya slowly glanced around. Her eyes regained the twinkle in them as she saw the ceiling which resembled the sky. It was an artificial setup and could not be compared to the real sky. Many would argue it was childish or money-wasting tactic or the sick pleasure rich people sought instead of the real deal, but who decided it? It all depended on perspectives. If we looked towards something in a positive way, then it was positive.


    "It''s beautiful!" Innaya exclaimed as her face brightened with excitement. She left my embrace as she slowly sat straight. With child-like enthusiasm, her eyes drank in the sight of artificially glowing illusive stars.


    "Can we sleep here - under them?" She turned her body towards me and asked while making a puppy face.


    How could I deny that face of hers? In fact, I would never be able to refuse anything to her, even my life. Smiling helplessly, I nodded in positive.


    She clasped her hands, feeling gleeful over such small matter. I realized how little things and gestures made her happy. She did not need grand scale events. She just longed for love, care, and safety.


    I stood up and extended my arm towards her. "Step aside, I''ll just make our bed." Innaya gave her hand in mine as I pulled her on her feet and to the side. Pulling another part of makeshift bed from the couch, I turned the couch we were sitting upon into the bed.


    "It''s the same as one we have back in that home. Right?" Innaya asked.


    "Right. Come here." I took the right side of the bed and patted the empty spot beside me as I beckoned her.


    Innaya moved on the bed. "Why do you keep a replica of the same things?" She asked aloud her question as she lied on her back, gazing at the ceiling.


    Why? I had wondered that too, but it was ages ago. After that, I became used to it. It was not that I believed in wasting money, but at that time I was not sure where Innaya would stay. Grandpa was still alive back then.


    I had thought that it would be great if I stayed in the Bangalore permenantly so that whenever I would marry her, she could stay close to her maternal home. Then things changed, so did my plans.


    Isighed as I stretched my body on the bed beside her, keeping little distance between us. I started telling her, "My first house is the one in Bangalore. At that time I never thought I would move to Mumbai, but later due to the expansion of our business, I shifted here. I missed that home. So eventually, I tried bringing some things so as to not feel that homesick. It helped, and then it sort of turned into a habit." I sheepishly rubbed back of my neck.


    "Your first house? Do you mean to say it''s not owned by your parents?" Innaya''s eyes snapped towards me.


    I was aware of her questioning orbs. I pulled out my phone from my pocket. I opened YouTube and searched my old account on it. I passed my phone to her and continued, "Back then, I had opened the account for fun, but later I turned it into my passion. Fortunately, I got lucky, and I achieved over two million subscribers over two years. The money I earned through it was more than enough for that house."


    It was something even my parents did not know. I wanted to be independent, and to my parents, my studies mattered not my extracurricular activities. Not that I had hidden about it knowingly, but my parents never tried to involve themselves in my life that much.


    I was in one of the bad phases in my life when my life took a turn for better. My hobby eventually pulled me out of depression.


    Iwas quite thankful to Innaya''s grandfather actually. It was he who supported me through that.


    "How old were you?" Innaya enquired as she scrolled through the videos I had uploaded, disrupting my train of thoughts.


    "I bought that house at eighteen," I answered, remembering the excitement I had felt after purchasing that house with my own money.


    "You have worked hard," Innaya whispered, tracing her finger over the screen of the phone.


    She placed the mobile aside as she directed her attention to the ceiling. " I quite admire you a lot, Eshan. Not everyone can achieve what you have. It certainly takes tremendous hard work," her voice wavered as if she was being emotional.


    I turned my face to take a look at her.


    "I know your life also has not been easy. Just from making videos, I know you can''t earn that much. You must have done many things to reach where you are. I know you made it sound like it was no big deal, but I am not fool. I understand, how hard it is to make a living when you were just a student." Her eyes glistened with the tears as she unblinkingly stared above.


    I suddenly laughed, feeling amused and happy as well. All those years ago when I needed someone, I had no one to share my grief and hardships with, and years later, I did not need anyone as I achieved the results of all my difficulties. Yet, Innaya was grieving over something that had happened very long ago.


    I interlocked my fingers with her hand that was lying on the bed and brought our joined palms on my chest. I frowned at how cold her hand was. "I''m not telling you all of this to make you feel sad. Have we not decided to relax and have a happy time? Hmm?"


    I turned on my left to face her.Innaya bit her lip as if wanting to say something, but in the end kept mum. "You have me now. Don''t bear anything alone," she responded as she voiced her innermost thoughts.


    I smiled at her innocent promise. I pulled out comforter over us. Her cold body was making me worried. I rubbed her palm as I tried to warm it up.


    "I''m always cold. Don''t worry," Innaya spoke as she saw my troubled face.


    "Thank you for bringing the stars for me," Innaya giggled as she stretched her hand in front of the planetarium projector and made a motion of grasping something.


    It looked as if she held those stars in her fist.


    Beaming at her action, I felt proud of myself for being the reason for her happiness. Full credit did not go to me, but Ayush. However, I should be appreciated for befriending him, shouldn''t I? I chuckled internally at how shameless I was being. If Ayush knew about my thoughts, he would certainly take away all the gifts.


    "You know, Grandpa would take me to the terrace and tell me a story whenever I couldn''t sleep at night. If he couldn''t remember any story, he would tell me about his and grandma''s stories from their past. He would turn himself as a hero in his stories," she laughed, "but then grandma would sneak up on us and would take his class for lying. After him... I often stared at the stars- searching for him... Later, I stopped, unable to bear the sinking reality-" her voice trailed off.


    Until she finished, I kept listening to her in the silence, but once she stopped, my mind stopped working too.


    It would soon be a year to grandpa''s demise, and I realized how much she was still hurting.


    Those small memories with Grandpa disturbed her as they reminded her of their happy times.


    Thankfully, after our last talk on this matter, she did not cry reminiscing about him.


    That hole was still there, but she was trying to come in terms with the present.


    Maybe, her mother was right. It was a good decision to take her away from Bangalore because if she had stayed there, things would have been more difficult.


    "Do you want to hear a story?" I tugged at her hand diverting her attention, she turned her head in my direction.


    She eagerly nodded, giving me a teary-eyed smile.

 Chapter 87 - Just Two Of Us (4)

    |Eshan| I looked down at the sleeping face of my wife in my arms. I had not voiced my fears after watching the movie. I had the same lingering fear as hers. I also knew that I would find her to never let go away from me. As I watched her troubled face even in her sleep as if some thoughts were bothering her, I firmed the resolve of staying beside her, in every situation. I failed her once, but I would never let it happen again. I was not good at storytelling, and I realized exactly how bad I was at it. I ended up telling her about funny incidents in my life, many of them involved my friends. I carefully evaded mentioning Sahil. I did not want her to think about him. His scornful words still rang in my ears. I did not even want to think about it. Innaya fell asleep very soon, she was tired emotionally. It was not that hard to guess from the day''s happenings. She had not yet talked about why she was on the brink of a panic attack after watching our fight. My mobile flashed, indicating the arrival of a new message. After confirming that I would not wake up Innaya, I turned on my back and reached for my mobile. As I unlocked the mobile, I saw it was close to four in the morning. I did not feel sleepy though. It had everything to do with the tranquil six hours of sleep I got in the afternoon. Sliding my thumb over the screen, I opened to the message I received. ::> "What''s the matter with Innaya?" I read the contents of Ayush''s message. My eyes narrowed as I thought about why Ayush would ask about Innaya at the odd hours. I''d made it clear that I would meet and explain later, then what was the emergency? ::> "Are you still awake?" There popped another message from him before I could decide to reply him back. ''I should really turn off the read receipts and change account settings.'' I thought. "Stop lying and stop hiding, will you?" Instantly he responded, making me speechless. I was just joking. Did he seriously have to make it sound like I was the bad guy? :: "Why are you still awake?" I asked him. ::> "Because of you." "WHAT THE HELL!" ::> "I''m very much straight. Even if in the future my preferences were to change, I won''t fancy you." ::> "Where the hell are you?" ::> "Why aren''t you replying, damn it!!!! Come here, I promise not to kill you." ::> "????????????????????????" By the time I finished going through Ayush''s angry rant, I stifled an urge to laugh aloud. Ayush was very pissed, and it was very much visible from his back to back messages. ::>"Why you want to know about Innaya?" I typed with my right hand as my left hand was busy in caressing Innaya''s hair. There was no point in stretching the pointless chatting. I wanted to know his intention. ::> "I''m worried about her. That day also she was scared like this because of Sahil. Arjun didn''t tell us anything, and drove us out of your house." What the hell! They were at my place. ''Sahil. It''s you again. What was I supposed to do with him? Why did you want to ruin our friendship?'' I stared off at the distance, trying to curb my rising temper. "Your wife is a gold-digger. She just wants you to handle her family business and make a profit for her." "It''s her tactic. She already has a lover." "She is just one of those opportunist women out there, who are behind you. Bloody bit¡ª" I could not help the killing intent I was feeling as I recollected Sahil''s words. I had decided to not remember them for then I could not help but want to find him and teach him a lesson for badmouthing my wife. He had no right to insult her. ::> "Don''t think about his words." Another message from him popped up. I turned angrier after going through it. Ayush was saying I shouldn''t think about it but he could not bring himself to do it. Otherwise, why would he message me? ::> "Are you sure you aren''t thinking about it? DON''T PREACH WHAT YOU DON''T PRACTICE. OTHERWISE, YOU ARE A HYPOCRITE." I replied back. My temper getting a worst out of. Innaya stirred beside me as if sensing my unstable emotions. I switched off my mobile and kept it aside. I lied properly on my back as I pulled her soft body in my arms, trying to calm myself down for her sake. I pressed a feather-light kiss on her forehead and just stayed there. Ayush unknowingly had evoked the ebbing anger from my mind. Actually, I knew, he was looking out for Innaya. Except for Sahil, all my friends loved Innaya and they looked after her as their own. There had to be something seriously wrong with Sahil''s head. I had a limit to my tolerance and I was no longer going to entertain Sahil''s absurd behavior. After the words he used for Innaya, chances of our friendship surviving were very slim. In my life, I placed equal importance on every relationship, and I would treasure and cherish them with all that I have got. The only exception being Innaya, she was my better half and her position in my heart was unrivaled. If I could not even spare myself for hurting her, then who was Sahil? I punished myself with two months of separation from her because I could not face her. I willingly suffered all the loneliness. No one had any say on my actions. How could he accuse Innaya? It was my decision, Innaya should not have been held accountable for it. I caressed her smooth skin with the back of my palm. ''I''m sorry. You have suffered because of me. I promise I won''t let you suffer anymore. I''ll be always there with you.'' I promised in my heart. As if hearing my unsaid words, Innaya''s expression settled, and her lips curved in a small smile.

 Chapter 88 - Just Two Of Us (5)

    |Eshan|


    The next morning was one of the sweetest mornings of my life. After the painfully exhausting two months that fell among the most nightmarish months in my life, I had finally got this blissful time with Innaya... these blissful moments with Innaya and I couldn''t be more grateful to god for the same.


    In those two months, I had almost lost the hope to be with her again. Scratch that - not almost - I had entirely lost the hope to even see her let aside having her sleeping peacefully beside me. The more I tried forgetting those months and getting over things, the more those thoughts came running to haunt me.


    If I were to write a book on our life together, the readers would get bored, and throw rotten tomatoes at me for saying the same thing for the annoying several times, but I couldn''t help it.


    My life wasn''t a daily soap drama or some insane novel where the protagonists forget even the messiest time and incidents in life and cuddle each other the next moment as if their life had always been a fairy tale. No, it wasn''t the case with me.


    ''No offense to any of those writers, but I am sorry - real life does not work that way -and I know that everyone knows this. It is not as easy to forget as it is, to forgive.''


    You try your best to let go of the unpleasant things, and you even succeed to some extent but one moment, one happening and you stand back to where you stood at the beginning. That''s how life is.


    It is messy, complicated, and at times, brings an indecipherable form of yourself in front of you.


    The first thing I saw after opening my eyes was the beautiful sight of my wife sleeping contently with a mesmerizing smile on her face.


    I wanted to know what she was thinking to have that bliss on her face. I did not have the heart to leave the bed because that would mean missing on this picturesque scene. ''Oh, I should take a picture as a memory.''


    I left the bed after sneakily taking a photo of Innaya, planning to make breakfast for us. I wanted to make the most of our break. Who knew what life had in store for us in the future?


    In the deepest corner of my heart, all I prayed and wished for was - this break to never end, so that we could always have the peacefulness and serenity in our lives.


    ***


    "Eshan."


    I heard Innaya''s voice when I was setting the plates on the dining table. I involuntarily smiled at her petite figure clad in a blue Saree.


    I wished I could say it aloud and compliment her openly about how ethereal she looked but I swallowed my words and just returned a smile to her.


    I never mentioned to her but I silently envied her gorgeous smile. The way her lips curled up, the way her face acquired that beautiful glow when she smiled, the way her eyes twinkled - wasn''t something a human was capable of - at least I believed it to be that way.


    Innaya made her way towards me, but when her eyes fell on the dining table she stopped in her tracks.


    "Idli," Innaya whispered and I could hear her excitement from her voice.


    I knew, she loved Idli, which was, of course, my foremost reason for making them.


    "Good morning," I greeted, signaling her to take a seat. Honestly, I did not remember enjoying cooking for anyone as much as my heart gained peace by cooking for Innaya. I had no clue why but it was - just - something else. Perhaps, that explained why people use the adjective - insane - for love. It is impossible to explain anything revolving around this - preciously complicated word - love. It can only be felt. It can only be felt.


    Innaya settled on a chair and I took one, right beside that of hers. I chuckled when she could not wait for me to take out Idlis on her plate and she did the honors herself. She almost grabbed half a dozens of them and then poured sambhar in her bowl.


    She dipped half of the idli in sambhar and put it in her mouth, biting a mouthful of it. Her eyes closed as she silently ate.


    I nervously waited for her reaction. My nervous heart settled when she mumbled, "Delicious."


    "I am glad to hear that," I spoke letting out a small laugh and with that, our very own, conscious Innaya was back.


    "Uh, I am so sorry. I just - I didn''t even wait for you," my embarrassed, wife uttered, leaving me to laugh even more open-heartedly.


    "It''s okay. I made them for you but well, that doesn''t mean that I am not going to eat." I looked at her before putting some Idlis in my plate and as I tasted one, it did not taste too good to me, but watching Innaya enjoying her breakfast to the fullest did not let me regret the quality of the Idlis that I did not find to be up to the mark.


    ***


    "So, what shall we do today?" I asked her once we were done with our breakfast and settled in the living room.


    Innaya pondered over possibilities of spending the day, and I drank in the sight of changing expressions on her face. I could have easily suggested to her regarding places to visit as we had not done that yet. However, if I had done that then how could have I gotten a chance to see the amusing sight before my eyes?


    I mentally patted my back for not being impatient. I suddenly frowned when unease settled on Innaya''s face. Something was troubling her. Her eyes nervously glanced at me, and she knitted the end of her sari with her fingers.


    ***


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 Chapter 91 - Kidnapped (1)

    | Eshan |


    I gazed lovingly into her mysteriously enticing eyes as we stepped out of the mall with all the shopping bags in my hand as I refused to allow my lady to hold the burden.


    It was Innaya''s idea to go out for some shopping as she needed some appliances for home and I grabbed the opportunity to roam through the mall to pick some beautiful outfits for my exquisite wife. The morning nightmare was still fresh in my memory.


    However, after having her before my eyes, happy and content, I could get over my worries. Innaya also unknowingly helped me in overcoming my anxiety for her antics changed my depressed mood. Watching her carefree figure, enjoying the little trip, I could not help the happiness bubbling within my chest.


    Oh, how I wished the time to stand still! Oh, how I wished I could keep staring at her just like that! Oh, how I wished for her to stay always in front of my eyes just like that! Oh, how I wished for Innaya''s presence around me until my last breath!


    I never knew I was capable of being so emotionally romantic, passionate and vulnerable at the same time. It was Innaya who had made me feel all that I had felt and was feeling.


    "Innayaaa," I screamed as an unexpected event unfolded before my eyes.


    A black SUV had stopped before us and three men came out, grabbed Innaya and began pushing her in the SUV.


    The bags in my hands automatically fell on the ground as I ran forward and grasped Innaya''s hand as tightly as I could. Terror rose inside my chest as I spent a moment glancing at those masked men who seemed professional at their work - at kidnapping.


    "Eshan."


    I heard her shouting as she wiggled to get out of their hold and come towards me.


    "Eshan."


    Innaya was almost crying by then.


    "Innaya, Innaya - don''t. Trust me. I would not let you go." With that, I raised my leg up to kick one of the men who was holding Innaya and he fell on the ground right at that instant with my furious force.


    Within a moment, I noticed Innaya''s fear turning into determination as perhaps, she remembered that she was a black belt in Karate. Things had happened in a blink of an eye that none of us had got time to even understand the situation let aside fighting it.


    Before I could walk further and get my Innaya back, I felt a rod hitting behind my knees and I fell on them, on the ground. The hit was hard and my legs couldn''t withstand the pain.


    "Eshaaaan," Innaya shrieked as she struggled harder looking at my pained face but she stood still the moment one of those men whispered something in her ear and her eyes froze, looking in my direction but not at me. She was looking behind me.


    I was about to turn back when Innaya stopped me.


    "Eshan, listen to me."


    Somehow, for some odd reasons, I didn''t want to. Was it my dream coming true? Was she going away from me forever? No, no, no. I couldn''t let that happen. I wouldn''t let that happen.


    Pressing my palms on the ground, I attempted to get up but someone banged another rod on my back and I fell straight on my front on the road.


    "Stop it. Stop it," Innaya screeched, before she turned her head to the man beside her, "stop it."


    I used the entire strength in me to raise my head from the ground and I looked at her.


    "Eshan. I love you. I am sorry." She held my gaze for a long while before herself getting in the car and before I could get out of the shock of what she was saying and doing and say anything to her, the car vanished before my eyes and so did my wife, Innaya Eshan Singhania.


    I did not know how long I stayed there, on the ground. It took me a long time to let the situation sink in, to let the fact sink in that


    Innaya was gone.


    Where? I did not know.


    Why? I did not know.


    Who were those men? I did not know.


    Why did they kidnap her? I did not know.


    Why didn''t she use her Karate skills? I did not know.


    What did that man say to her when he whispered something in her ear? I did not know.


    What made her stop struggling and choose to go with them? I did not know.


    And she said... she confessed... her love. Until today, she only claimed that she was falling for me. What did Innaya realize today that had her lay her heart bare to me?


    Was she thinking that it was the last time she was seeing me and was that why she told me that for she thought she would never get a chance again?


    Innaya. Why would you do that? Why would you do that, Innaya? Why would you do that?


    I did not bother the tears rolling down my cheeks, the sharp pain shooting in my body, the dirt spoiling my clothes, the weird glances people darted at me until I felt someone rushing towards me and as he lowered on his feet, I saw who it was. Arjun.


    It happened almost within seconds that he pulled me up and I immediately leaned onto him. I hugged him as I broke down in tears.


    "They took her away, Arjun. They took her away and I couldn''t do anything." I sobbed as I let out my pain.


    "I know. Innaya had dialed my number when this happened and I heard everything." Arjun patted my back before he made me stand.


    "Come on, we have to go. We have to find Innaya."


    "Innaya," I whispered to myself before nodding at Arjun. I was like that lost kid who had lost his safe heaven and could not comprehend what was happening and what he could do. I just followed Arjun.


    He took me to the hospital first despite my refusal, and the doctor confirmed that even though the injuries were not serious, there was an internal swelling that demanded me to not put any pressure on my legs for that could worsen the situation but who cared? I did not. I absolutely did not.


    All that was on my mind, all that I thought about, all that I cared about was... Innaya.


    ''Where are you, Innaya? Where are you?''


    *


    *


    *


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 Chapter 92 - Kidnapped (2)

    |Innaya|


    Have you ever felt the utter hopelessness? After many hardships, your life suddenly takes a turn for better. You have everything that you have ever dreamt of. And, then, someone snatches away everything out of your hand. You don''t know why. You don''t know-how. All you know is that you are again back to where you were. Alone, empty-handed, and hopeless.


    Life is very unpredictable. No one knows what would happen in the future. We plan things, but if life decides to mess up with us, then no power could stop it from acting. Did not I have first-hand experience? The beautiful afternoon, which could have turned into a memorable outing had to be turned into a living nightmare.


    My whole body kept shivering as Eshan''s eyes that I loved getting lost into were looking at me with utter despair. I hoped he would forgive me for what I have done. I had no choice but to make that impossible decision. It was his life that was at stake.


    Did I have any other options?


    No.


    "Try using your karate skills if you want to see your beloved man getting his brain out of his skull, with that bullet our man would shoot on your single wrong movement." That man holding me had whispered in my ears, pointing the position of their fourth partner.


    I could have done everything to not get away from Eshan, only if he was not at the gunpoint. It was a bitter truth that weapons were fast and blind. I was no trained soldier to fight in such kind of situations. Compared to three professionals and a hidden gunman, my strength lacked by far margin. I was not even close to one-hundred of them. Moreover, a man was aiming, an iron rod on Eshan''s head. With two imminent dangers lurking close to him, how could I risk his life? I could not, never- even if that meant losing my life.


    Eshan. My heart throbbed thinking about him. How bad he must be feeling. He must be feeling like shit. His wife was kidnapped in front of his own eyes. How sickeningly disgusting feeling that was!


    I just hoped Arjun would be able to handle him. I had no idea why I had saved Arjun''s number on speed dial and as an emergency contact besides Eshan, but today it came to use. Even in that tense situation, I had managed to call Arjun for backup. I did not know it was a good move or a bad one. Thinking about Eshan''s injured figure the decision seemed right.


    Tears blinded my vision thinking about his condition. Was he alright? They had hit him forcefully with that iron rod. It must have had hurt very badly. My heart still lurched in my ribcage recalling that scene.


    How happy we were just a few hours ago! After long torturous two months, we finally were getting our lives on tracks. Why things had to turn this way? I wanted to cry. Cry for my misfortune. Cry for being in such a state. Tears kept rolling down from my eyes without any signs of stopping.


    I hated the darkness. I loathed the darkness for I have had faced very bitter, horrific situations in those dark hours. The fright was installed in the very depths of my bones which despite my many hard efforts had stayed there¨C unchanged.


    I could see nothing but the digital clock which turned seconds into minutes, and minutes into hours. I counted, each second that had passed. I counted each minute that had passed, and I counted each hour that was being stretched. It had been more than nine hours that I was locked in the darkroom.


    My hands were tied tightly to the back of the chair. My legs were tied too. After they took me away from the mall, those men had not said anything. They had not even talked with each other.


    Other than the man who took me hostage, I was surprised at not finding anyone with me. Back in that van, I had thought of screaming or jumping out of but then I dismissed it as soon as I had thought about it. The glasses were black, hindering the view from both sides, doors were locked from the driver''s side, and from what I understood that the van was soundproof.


    Villains were not that dumb as people thought. Whosoever was the mastermind behind all of this was very sharp and clever minded. Otherwise, how would the person know about our whereabouts?


    That person was aware I was a black belt in karate. That person also knew Eshan would retaliate, and it would be a hard battle if I joined him. Thus very cleverly they attacked my weak spot. And, they dared to do so in the broad daylight, in the crowded area. So, whosoever was behind this had full belief in the success of their plan.


    I had no idea who did this or what the person wanted.


    Why I was the target?


    I tried recalling whom I had offended or who could do this? The whole kidnapping was orchestrated very cleverly. There was a not single flaw, so it must have taken a lot of planning to achieve the result they wanted.


    I was afraid. I could not help but shiver. I did not know what was going to happen. In this kind of situation, I knew I should keep calm and be a little more rational. I should pay attention to my surroundings and people to search for the way out with full planning.


    When the time ticked away and slowly seconds tuned into hours, my panic also rose. I still had not seen someone coming inside to say anything. My hope of getting out of their clutches was also thinning.


    I could not help but sob silently. ''I''m sorry, Eshan. I''m sorry.'' There was an invisible stone pressing on my chest preventing me from breathing properly. I could see the panic settling in my chest when I heard the silence breaking by footsteps.


    After nine hours someone was finally showing up. I had thought they were going to forget about me, leaving me here to die. That did not seem like the case when a couple of male voices sounded from the other end of the door.


    I could not make what they were saying. Suddenly the voices stopped and the door was pushed open from the outside. The darkness in the room vanished when the switch of the light was turned on, and bright light flooded in the room. Instantly my eyes closed off, unable to bear the onslaught of brightness after being in the dark black surroundings for more than nine hours.


    When I opened my eyes, I found the unfamiliar man in his late twenties in a white Armani suit standing before the chair I was tied too. His head full of black hair lowered as he gazed at me. He had a similar height with Eshan. He did not look like one of those thugs.


    He looked like some kind of businessman with that outfit of his as if he had come here after attending some meeting.


    His eyes frightened me to an altogether different level. I had seen a fair share of eyes with different emotions in them. I had never seen one like the man standing before me, vacant, empty, cold, murderous.


    Had I seen him ever? No. I had never.


    His emotions kept flickering up, and they were visible through his eyes. My eyes fell behind that man accidentally. I was thankful for the cloth covering my mouth if not I would have screamed in the horror when I saw the room I was kept in.


    The walls of the room could not be seen as the photos, cutouts, pictures, notes and what not was stuck to them, not leaving an inch unused. What scared me was the big red cross on Eshan''s photo with many knives plunged into it.


    It looked as if someone wanted Eshan dead. He hated Eshan to the point of harboring murderous intentions. My eyes snapped in the direction of that man in a white. Did he want Eshan dead? What enmity he had with Eshan?


    Sound of crisp slap making a contact with skin was heard. I raised my scared gaze. I found the man who had brought me and tied into this position, holding his cheek.


    *


    *


    *


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 Chapter 93 - Kidnapped (3)

    |Eshan|


    "How dare you, Arjun? How the f*** you dare to drug me? Don''t you f****** understand how much time I have l wasted sleeping on this bed? I''m not paralyzed yet. Release this handcuff this instant or I swear I won''t forgive you ever," I yelled loudly, glaring furiously at Arjun.


    The loud sound of glass shattering numbed my already numb ears. I did not care. I threw down another vase as I watched it colliding against the floor and breaking down into pieces. It did nothing to lessen the fury and guilt in my heart. I wanted to smash it on Arjun, but that bastard avoided it every single time.


    "Calm down. I won''t repeat it again. If you think breaking things is going to help, then NEWS FLASH it won''t. Use your brain to think who it might be," Arjun snapped at me. Watching me breaking things from the last couple of hours had taken a toll on him too. He insisted on getting me admitted to the hospital when I told him that I did not want to, and he knew I would not, so he sneakily had doctor inject me sleeping drug.


    "You are wasting my time. You''re wasting Innaya''s time. I don''t know how she is. She must be scared. She must be waiting for me, Arjun. Please, let me go. I beg you, please." I joined my hands before him, my eyes tearing as I thought about Innaya''s scared face.


    "Sahil. It must be him. He hates Innaya. Arjun, find Sahil. He''s the one behind this," I shouted. I just wanted Innaya back, and even after thinking about who could be behind the incident, I thought of Sahil only. "Innaya was going to fight back, but that man holding her said something to her. It must be Sahil. Yes, it has to be." At this point, I had lost all the rationality.


    Arjun walked towards the bed, avoiding stepping on those pieces of glass. "You need to be rational, Eshan. We all know Sahil, he is hotheaded but he would not fall so low to kidnap her," he calmly replied.


    "You don''t know his hatred for Innaya," I retorted, recalling the maddening hate Sahil harbored towards Innaya.


    "I know everything. If you have forgotten it was I, who handled everyone for the last two months. I also know why Sahil reacted that way. I won''t explain that to you know, but trust me he is not the one we are looking for." Arjun''s patience was hanging on the last thread, yet he was trying to keep control over his emotions.


    "If you were to leave from the hospital, then chances of Innaya staying safe would reduce," he added on afterthought.


    I received a heavy blow listening to him. What the hell he meant by chances reducing? If my stay in the hospital was going to ensure Innaya''s safety then I did not mind spending my whole life on this hospital bed. "What do you mean?"


    Arjun shoved my mobile in my hands. "Take a look."


    There was a video on pause. I pressed on the play button. I felt my breath being knocked out of my body.


    "Innaya." The dread like never before crawled on my body as I watched Innaya''s body tied to the chair. Her mouth was tied up with the cloth.


    Innaya was afraid of darkness. Those bastards kept her in the darkroom. Innaya must be suffering. Tears rolled out of my eyes as I watch the naked fear on Innaya''s face.


    "Damn it."


    Arjun worked on his laptop. He raised his head and started, "The video was sent an hour ago. Whosoever is behind this, knows you''re in the hospital. A CD with this video recording was delivered to this room. Now, you know why we can''t leave? Until now that person hasn''t harm Innaya. I can''t guarantee the same if you were to leave and begin the search."


    I slumped on the bed. Arjun was right. If I was being monitored, then there were high chances of Innaya getting harmed. I racked my brain, my memories, I scrolled through all my contacts trying to find some clue. What was the motive of the person?


    Suddenly, I was reminded of the person who could be behind this. Mr. Abhinav Roy, I had warned him to stay away from Innaya, but it seemed like he did not take my words seriously.


    "I know. It''s that professor. That Mr. Roy." I firmly believed that it had to be him.


    Arjun shook his head.


    "You don''t think so?"I asked him.


    "You have had only one interaction with that guy while I had two. If he was the one behind this abduction, he won''t contact you. He has no feud with you. He would want Innaya, he wouldn''t send us this video," Arjun explained.


    After pondering over his explanation, I realized he was right. He would not contact me, because he would want nothing but Innaya."


    I felt like banging my head against something. Why this had to happen to us? Why this had happened to Innaya? My sweet, innocent wife. Why did God love to torment her? Why? I pulled my hair in frustration.


    Arjun left the room leaving his laptop on the bed. He closed the door on his way out. I pulled the screen towards me. I stared at the work he had done. He had gotten into CCTV footage in front of the mall, the SUV details were found out, and the route those kidnappers might have taken was also marked.


    When I was unconscious, Arjun was not idling. He had started his work, and he was exceptionally efficient in it. I understood what he was trying to do. While keeping me before the enemy''s eyes, he was working in the dark on finding Innaya.


    I regretted shouting at him. He was fulfilling his duty as Innaya''s brother and my best friend. He had done his part, and it was time for me to take action. Two minds were better than one.


    *


    I shut the laptop loudly. I thought two minds were better than one. How foolish of me! Even after going through countless times through the pieces of evidence, I found nothing. Nothing, that could help me in reaching Innaya.


    I was worried, scared to be exact. As time was passing, my fears were intensifying. I had no clue who could be behind this. I played the video again, and again, wishing nothing but the enter through the screen so that I could be with her.


    Innaya''s tears burned through my soul. I hated the sight of tears in her eyes. All I have ever wanted to do to never make her cry. I wanted her to never shed tears, but after becoming part of her life, all I had given her were the tears.


    I had lost counts of many times, she must have suffered because of me. Knowingly or unknowingly, I had been the reasons behind her tears. I could not even protect the woman I loved. What kind of man I was?


    I should have hired bodyguards for her. I could easily afford the personal security team, but I never had any for I believed I did not need them. Looking back at it, I cursed myself for not hiring one. If I had, Innaya would be with me, safe and sound.


    Did they give her food? Did they give her water? Were they misbehaving with her? The countless possibilities were making my heart ache. Who would have thought that my nightmare would turn into reality?


    Was that some sort of forewarning? I should not have taken Innaya out. I was the one to be blamed for everything. I was the culprit.


    I shuddered, unable to breath properly. I felt as if my lungs were going to burst because of all the pressure I was feeling.


    The door was pushed open from the outside. I raised my head. All my friends rushed in. I wondered how they got to know? As far as I knew Arjun would not have time to call them.


    I stared at them questioningly.


    "We know what happened. Don''t worry, we''ll find her." Ayush was the first one to speak.


    However, my eyes were glued to the person I least expected to come.


    "Why are you here? Do you want to rejoice that finally, Innaya is out of the picture?" I shouted at Sahil. All my frustration found the outlet in the form of Sahil.


    I could not understand, where did he find the guts to appear before my eyes after insulting my wife.


    "Eshan, he''s sorry for his words and actions. We''ll talk about it later. First, we should file a police complaint. Finding Innaya is our priority." Sameer cut in, glancing at Sahil with pity in his eyes.


    "If you''re going to take his side, then leave. I don''t need you. I''ll find her on my own." I turned and tried to get up from the bed, only to fall back when an intense pain shot through my knees and my back. My legs gave in, unable to bear the pressure of my body.


    I looked down at my legs in anger. My own body was not supporting me. I needed to leave. At this point, I had forgotten about Arjun''s words. Only Innaya''s tearful, scared face was flashing before my eyes. Even if I had to search through every single place of Mumbai personally, I wanted to do it, but my legs were hindering me.


    "Damn it," I screamed in the anger.


    *


    *


    *


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 Chapter 94 - Kidnapped (4)

    |Eshan|


    ***


    Tears remained frozen in my eyes and so did my heart, in fear. The moment I witnessed her going limp in-front of my eyes with my name as the last whisper on her lips, I had lost my sense of reaction. I only knew how hard it was for me to regain my equilibrium and admit her to the hospital.


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    |Eshan|


    ***


    Tears remained frozen in my eyes and so did my heart, in fear. The moment I witnessed her going limp in-front of my eyes with my name as the last whisper on her lips, I had lost my sense of reaction. I only knew how hard it was for me to regain my equilibrium and admit her to the hospital.


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    |Eshan|


    ***


    Tears remained frozen in my eyes and so did my heart, in fear. The moment I witnessed her going limp in-front of my eyes with my name as the last whisper on her lips, I had lost my sense of reaction. I only knew how hard it was for me to regain my equilibrium and admit her to the hospital.


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    |Eshan|


    ***


    Tears remained frozen in my eyes and so did my heart, in fear. The moment I witnessed her going limp in-front of my eyes with my name as the last whisper on her lips, I had lost my sense of reaction. I only knew how hard it was for me to regain my equilibrium and admit her to the hospital.


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    |Eshan|


    ***


    Tears remained frozen in my eyes and so did my heart, in fear. The moment I witnessed her going limp in-front of my eyes with my name as the last whisper on her lips, I had lost my sense of reaction. I only knew how hard it was for me to regain my equilibrium and admit her to the hospital.


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    |Eshan|


    ***


    Tears remained frozen in my eyes and so did my heart, in fear. The moment I witnessed her going limp in-front of my eyes with my name as the last whisper on her lips, I had lost my sense of reaction. I only knew how hard it was for me to regain my equilibrium and admit her to the hospital.


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    |Eshan|


    ***


    Tears remained frozen in my eyes and so did my heart, in fear. The moment I witnessed her going limp in-front of my eyes with my name as the last whisper on her lips, I had lost my sense of reaction. I only knew how hard it was for me to regain my equilibrium and admit her to the hospital.


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    |Eshan|


    ***


    Tears remained frozen in my eyes and so did my heart, in fear. The moment I witnessed her going limp in-front of my eyes with my name as the last whisper on her lips, I had lost my sense of reaction. I only knew how hard it was for me to regain my equilibrium and admit her to the hospital.


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    |Eshan|


    ***


    Tears remained frozen in my eyes and so did my heart, in fear. The moment I witnessed her going limp in-front of my eyes with my name as the last whisper on her lips, I had lost my sense of reaction. I only knew how hard it was for me to regain my equilibrium and admit her to the hospital.


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    |Eshan|


    ***


    Tears remained frozen in my eyes and so did my heart, in fear. The moment I witnessed her going limp in-front of my eyes with my name as the last whisper on her lips, I had lost my sense of reaction. I only knew how hard it was for me to regain my equilibrium and admit her to the hospital.


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    |Eshan|


    ***


    Tears remained frozen in my eyes and so did my heart, in fear. The moment I witnessed her going limp in-front of my eyes with my name as the last whisper on her lips, I had lost my sense of reaction. I only knew how hard it was for me to regain my equilibrium and admit her to the hospital.


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    |Eshan|


    ***


    Tears remained frozen in my eyes and so did my heart, in fear. The moment I witnessed her going limp in-front of my eyes with my name as the last whisper on her lips, I had lost my sense of reaction. I only knew how hard it was for me to regain my equilibrium and admit her to the hospital.


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    |Eshan|


    ***


    Tears remained frozen in my eyes and so did my heart, in fear. The moment I witnessed her going limp in-front of my eyes with my name as the last whisper on her lips, I had lost my sense of reaction. I only knew how hard it was for me to regain my equilibrium and admit her to the hospital.


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    |Eshan|


    ***


    Tears remained frozen in my eyes and so did my heart, in fear. The moment I witnessed her going limp in-front of my eyes with my name as the last whisper on her lips, I had lost my sense of reaction. I only knew how hard it was for me to regain my equilibrium and admit her to the hospital.


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    |Eshan|


    ***


    Tears remained frozen in my eyes and so did my heart, in fear. The moment I witnessed her going limp in-front of my eyes with my name as the last whisper on her lips, I had lost my sense of reaction. I only knew how hard it was for me to regain my equilibrium and admit her to the hospital.


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    |Eshan|


    ***


    Tears remained frozen in my eyes and so did my heart, in fear. The moment I witnessed her going limp in-front of my eyes with my name as the last whisper on her lips, I had lost my sense of reaction. I only knew how hard it was for me to regain my equilibrium and admit her to the hospital.


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 Chapter 95 - Kidnapped (5)

    | Innaya |


    In my childhood, I had witnessed enough physical violence that had left permanent damage to my conscience. If I were to witness violence I would be either paralyzed with fear or unconscious because of a panic attack. Thus I have always made a careful attempt to stay away from it. However, life is unpredictable. What I wanted to avoid most was happening before my eyes.


    I gasped in horror as I watched the cold and terrifying man grabbing the man''s neck who had tied me. He dragged that masked man along as he completed a long circle and threw him on the ground. The masked goon was struggling to breathe. Beneath his mask, I could imagine how his face might have lost all the colors. His big eyes had widened beyond imagination and the pure terror was visible in them.


    I was feeling his terror. At that moment, in that man, I saw my past and future self. That unfeeling man in white did not display a bit of sympathy for the man working either with him or under him. He then kicked the man on the ground in his stomach, the force of that kick caused the man on the ground yell in the pain and slide backward on the ground.


    I pulled my legs involuntarily back as the entire violent scenario brought back the memories that always landed me in panic attacks. No, no. Not now. I could not afford a panic attack at that moment. I could not let those people know I was scared. I could not let them find out my weaknesses at any cost.


    ''Calm down, Innaya. Calm down. You can do this.'' I closed my eyes only to recall Eshan''s sweet face and the times where he had brought me out of my panicked conditions. I relived his comforting words and gestures through my memory, and as surreal as it was, I felt myself regaining a hold on my slipping control. I wanted to be courageous and determined to tackle the situation.


    "What did I tell you? Is this how I had told you to do this?" The cold voice of the man in white had me shuddering in fear.


    He did not shout or yell, but the low dangerous tone he had used, it was enough for instilling fear in people''s bones.


    "S... sorry, Boss. You had said that she is a black belt in Karate. I was afraid that she would run."


    Boss?


    I was surprised as I heard the man on the floor speak in his trembling voice. Okay, so it was him. Their Boss. The mastermind behind my kidnapping and he told them about my fighting skills? That meant, he had himself stalked us to know about them and had not asked anyone else to do it as I had thought.


    I still could not comprehend why he would target me. My memory could not betray me with faces. I was sure that I had never seen him, and Eshan... he was too sweet and kind to harm anyone. Who would seek an act of revenge on him and that too in this extremity?


    Who was he? I wished to get out of this place. Out of reach of this man? He was making me scared. He had that killing aura around him, that made me want to shrink. I closed my eyes. It was naive of me to think that if I closed my eyes, I would not be able to see him and so would he. Life did not work that way.


    "Shut up and get lost," he roared.


    My eyes flew open reflexively. I saw how his furious shout sent everyone out of his sight. They all almost ran away. If he could behave so fiercely with his subordinate, then who was I? I was the woman he kidnapped. How could I expect him to not show inhumanity towards me?


    My forehead acquired sweat beads of perspiration as the thought of being left alone with that man terrified me. As I watched him approaching me, I was panic-stricken. He intimidated me, and the feeling certainly was not pleasant.


    "Stay away from me," I wanted to warn him in the sternest tone that I could manage, but all could do was to bit the cloth tied to my mouth as my words came muffled. It did not seem to affect him in any way. His steps did not stop coming towards me. I felt my breathing turning unsteady along with my heartbeat. My eyes watered and they kept being unfocussed.


    He covered the distance in two strides and untied the cloth covering my mouth. My body shuddered in fright when he leaned close to me.


    "Eshan will find me and when he does, he will not leave you." I glared at him, trying to put on a mask of confidence and conceal my inner fright.


    "Ah, don''t talk about him," he said as he loosened the ropes that were used to tie my hands and legs.


    The instant shift in his tone from the formidable one when he had burst out on his own man to this light and somewhat a friendly one as he talked to me - was beyond my understanding. The 360 degrees turn in his actions and behavior startled me. However, I did not lower my guards. The man before me was unpredictable and scary.


    Why was he removing the ropes? What was going in his mind?


    "Listen, please don''t make any attempts to get out of this place, okay? I wouldn''t like to do anything that would hurt you," he told me with a small smile before he walked out of the room.


    I did not get a chance to relax when he moved away from me. I did not get a chance to try to run away from this place. His words had completely rendered me motionless. I had seen what he could do to hurt me. He had given me a live demo of what he was capable of when he beat his own man.


    The boss, as what they called him, returned within five minutes with a plate filled with a Dosa, Sambhar, coconut chutney, chocolate milkshake, and a pineapple pastry.


    ''What the hell is going on? Is that food drugged? Does he want to do something-'' I did not want to even think in that direction. One thing was clear, the man was not as simple as he was trying to portray himself. He had ulterior motives and it was a matter of time before he showed his true colors.


    "Here, eat this." He placed the plate on the small dining table that was at one corner of the room with two chairs and gestured me to come there. "It is not drugged. See, I will eat first for you."


    For a moment, I was in a daze. Was I really kidnapped or was I at some friend''s place? Why would a kidnapper treat me - so nicely?


    "I don''t want it." I denied right at the moment he spoke and averted my furious gaze from him. I did not want to look at him anymore. My fears were lurking around in my mind, and I was not sure, how long I would be able to hold myself together.


    *


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 Chapter 96 - Im Back To Take What Belongs To Me...

    |Eshan|


    Honestly, I had no idea if it could be Innaya''s father or not behind her kidnapping. I only knew that her father was not part of her life since her childhood. There had never been a reason for me to find about him from outside sources. I wanted to earn Innaya''s trust. I wanted to make her comfortable enough, so she could share  everything with me on her own. Innaya mattered to me. Nothing else did.


    "No," Arjun replied, without looking up while his fingers never stopped working.


    Barun who had been silent ever since he entered the room, took a glance at Arjun. There was disapproval in his eyes as he disdainfully criticised Arjun. "Arjun, work is not important now. We need to go to the police."


    "Yes, Eshan. Barun is right, we better hurry." Sameer nodded his head, looking at Arjun from corner of his eyes.


    Sahil''s sneaking glances were not lost on me. He was being unusually silent.


    I ignored him as I tried placing a face and name to the person who could be behind this.


    "No need. I''ve hired a team. They would take care of the things. They are much faster, much efficient, and more trustworthy," Arjun nonchalantly replied.


    I had accidentally discovered Arjun''s identity otherwise, I would have also questioned his actions. In other people''s eyes, he was not taking the situation very seriously, but I knew better. He was the one who could be of the most help in this matter.


    Maybe, it could be someone related to Innaya''s grandfather. If that was the case, then grandma and mom, would be ideal choice to look for. I could not call mom though because of her health condition.


    "I will call grandma. Maybe, she could help us," I announced, forgetting that she was old too. I did not see another alternative. Maybe, Innaya''s family could help regarding her enemies, I doubt if there were any. I could not be sure though.


    Sahil suddenly shouted, "Wait." On receiving my glare, he meekly added, avoiding my gaze. "What would you tell her? That Innaya is kidnapped? They''ll be worried. We should first search..."


    "Oh, now you''re being thoughtful? Where was this thoughtfulness when you were being a douchebag?" I sarcastically snapped. I could still not forget his words and actions.


    "I... I''m sorry," he apologized.


    The knock on the door stopped me from berating Sahil. I frowned when even after giving the permission to enter, nobody came in.


    Sameer who stood closest to the door, opened it. From where I was sitting on the bed, there was no one outside in my peripheral vision. I found it strange. "There''s no one," Sameer stated after looking around.


    I accidentally discovered an envelope on the ground in front of the door when I lowered my head. My heartbeat raced up. Arjun had said that the video was delivered in the CD, so that meant the envelope might belong to those kidnappers. They might have left it there.


    Arjun seemingly had noticed the envelope too for he stood up and fetched that brown envelope from the ground. Silently he closed the door, and brought the envelope inside. He did not open it straight away though.


    "What''s that?" Ayush came and stood beside him. Eventually other three also walked closer to take a proper look. I was the only one who could not move. I curled my fingers in a fist, feeling helpless.


    Arjun after flipping and turning that envelope around for good amount of time, tore down the sealed part. He emptied the envelope on my bed, putting everything out on the display for everyone to see. He did that mostly because he did not want to answer any more questions.


    My eyes narrowed when there was nothing inside the envelope. Someone was playing a joke on us. It had to be those kidnappers. If it was their way of torturing me, then they succeeded in it. I was pissed.


    "Those bastards." I cursed loudly.


    When I had seen that envelope, there was spark of hope alongside the mountain of worries. I had hoped that it would contain the reason or demand of those people. If not, it could have something related to Innaya, something like that video. Watching her tied figure had broke my heart, but there was little relief that she was physically unharmed.


    Arjun checked that envelope again, this time after tearing it open fully. Arjun''s blue eyes narrowed dangerously when he spotted something. I followed his line of sight. There was a black memory card secured with tape to the envelope from inside.


    "Quickly. Insert it, and see," I urged him, feeling


    Arjun nodded as he inserted the memory card in the mobile. It was not his usual one though. I shrugged the insignificant thought of why he carried a new mobile with himself and focused on finding the contents in that card.


    Five minutes later, I realized why people turned violent. When you see your loved one in imminent danger, you see helplessness marred on their face, you wish nothing than to kill the reason of that danger.


    Arjun stared at me after watching yet another video sent by those kidnappers. He looked calm from outside, but there was murderous storm rising in his blue orbs.


    "********" Ayush cursed as he strode out of the room, slamming the door on his way.


    "Leave me alone," I replied, almost snatching the mobile from Arjun''s hand. Arjun silently stared at the paused scene on his mobile before he walked out of the room followed by Sameer, Sahil and Barun.


    I played the video, hardening my heart. Innaya was in the same condition¡ª gagged, tied and scared. The room was not dark anymore, but it did not leave any clue for there were only white walls around her.


    There was no audio in that video. The recording continued to play and I watched how Innaya''s face paled with every passing second. She was on the verge of having panic attack, I could see it in her eyes. I struggled to stay composed but when I saw Innaya''s frantic attempts of saying something as if a danger was approaching her, I lost it. There was a shadow of a person closing onto her. Innaya''s struggles increased as she tried to drag herself away from the approaching figure.


    It was as if someone clawed at my heart. I could not continue to watch Innaya''s desperate agitation. The video recording ended at that point when a man dressed in a white suit leaned on Innaya. My whole body shivered in anger, imagining plight of Innaya.


    I would kill that bastard when I find him. He would have to pay for it. He would have to pay for harassing my wife.


    The screen went blank. A message popped in the screen soon after it, leaving me numb and furious at the same time.


    "I''m back to take what belongs to me."

 Chapter 97 - You Kidnapped Me

    |Innaya|


    "Either you get on your feet and come here obediently or I''ll have to do something which you won''t like."


    This sentence from the guy whose identity was still not known to me, had me rethink my decision of not listening to him. I could be stubborn and stay put, and he might end up doing something dangerous like how he treated his man. Or, I could follow his instructions and try to get out of the predicament, unharmed.


    I chose to do a later one. I was never afraid of physical pain. If I could survive the pain in my childhood, I could certainly handle one after growing up. I decided to comply with him because what he might do terrified me. He had gotten too close to my liking when he removed that rope. That closeness of his- disgusted me.


    Only Eshan could be that close to me physically. Only Eshan had a right to touch me. I did not know what I would do if someone were to lay his hand on me in that way.


    I got up silently and tentatively approached the man whose back faced me as he busily arranged the cutlery.


    He turned abruptly, scaring me. I stopped in my track, searching for ways to run out of his reach.


    He smiled."Good. Come, come here, and have a seat. Look, I have prepared everything according to your taste."


    I stumbled, watching the man who seemed insane with every passing second. What kind of madness was this?


    "Who are you?" I asked, backing away a couple of steps from him.


    I watched hurt flashing on his face.


    Why?


    The only way out of the room was the door behind the man. I could try and make a run for it, but I wondered how many people were out there. The man''s physics was not that bad and from the way he had kicked the masked man, he seemed to be familiar with fighting techniques. It would be hard to handle him, but I would not go down without a fight.


    "Who are you?" I asked again, stalling the time to formulate a plan for getting out of the place, unharmed.


    I found a mobile phone on the table. If I could drive away from the man from the room, I could have time to call Eshan. He might track down my location.


    "Look, I don''t know why you are doing this? Do you want money? Tell me, how much? I''ll directly transfer it to your account now."


    The bank transaction could also help Eshan. Because the transaction message would be delivered to my number and I hoped that Eshan had picked my mobile from where it got dropped in front of the mall.


    "Haha..." The laughter tinged with sadness echoed in the room.


    Alarmed, I stared at the man whose eyes were looking at me in ridicule. "Money? I don''t need your money.".


    My heart dropped. One possibility of sending the hint to Eshan was cut down.


    "How could you not remember me Innu?"


    I suddenly felt like several ants were crawling on my body when he called me Innu. The intimacy he tried to portray after stepping in the room had me panicking. I did not remember the man. I could swear I had not seen him, ever.


    "Stop... Stop calling me that. It''s Mrs. Singhaniya," I warned him.


    My insides were churning with nausea and the panic was again setting in my heart as I watched his face turning red with the anger.


    He strode toward me. I backed, almost breaking into the run. I needed to get away from him. I picked that chair and hurled at him.


    He could have avoided it, but he just bore the impact. With a thud, the wooden chair fell to his feet after hitting him head-on. His forehead bleed after being hit by the sharp edge of the chair, yet he continued his advances without faltering.


    I looked around, trying to find something useful to protect myself. Worst come to worst, I would use my body to protect but I did not want to be close to him in any way.


    Before I had a chance to find something or act, he had reached me. With one swift motion, he grabbed onto my arms tightly. My panic level skyrocketed, witnessing the maddening rage on his face.


    "How many times should I have to tell? You aren''t related to him. You''re mine. Damn it. I won''t let him snatch you again. I won''t let you have him. You have me. Do you understand? You have me," he screamed in my face. I attempted to get out of his iron vice grip to no avail. He only jerked my body when my attempts increased.


    It hurt. His fingers digging in my skin through the cloth. Tears gathered in my eyes but I held them back. I would not give him the satisfaction. I would not let him falling weak.


    "Leave me. I don''t know you. I have Eshan and that''s all I need," I replied, stepping hard on his toes with my three-inch heels. The man did not even flinch, be stayed put. Was he made of iron? Did he not feel pain?


    "Eshan. Eshan. Eshan," he shouted, his face turning red with the anger. It reminded me so much of my father. It was the same.


    Why most of the men in my life had to turn out like my father? I could handle no more. I knew I should overcome the fear, but it was so strongly carved in my mind that despite my attempts, I could not forget it- ever.


    "Forget Eshan. Just as you have forgotten me but don''t worry, I will remind you of our memories. Innu, you are mine. I won''t let him snatch you away from me... Not this time. You are mine. This time I''m here to take back everything that belongs to me," he said, word by word. His words carried a promise, dangerous promise.


    I felt my breath quickening up, his face was getting blurred and my arms turned numb after being in his strong, painful hold. His words rang in my ears along with my heartbeat. Black spots started dancing before my eyes.


    My control over my senses, slowly loosened from my hold.


    ''Eshan. Eshan.'' I tried recalling Eshan''s face. I could not. I could not ward off the wave of dizziness. I fought with the panic attack, but it turned meaningless with every passing second. I lost myself to the darkness before I could move away from him.


    ***


    "Innu, what are you still doing there? Come, come here."


    My whole body jolted when I heard the male voice. Glancing around I realized, I was still sitting in that chair- conscious, unharmed.


    I checked my arms, but they weren''t paining. So, what was that? Was I being too afraid that I ended up imagining the worst possible outcome? It took some time to recover my senses and come in terms with reality.


    He did not behave psychotically, yet. That was a great relief. However, that did not mean he would not. I should better follow his words for if he ended up getting mad, I would not know how to handle him when I could not handle myself.


    Gingerly, I approached him. He raised his head when he sensed my presence behind him.


    "Good. Have a seat. Take a look. Everything is according to your taste. Tell me if you don''t like anything and I''ll have the kitchen prepare something else," he replied. His free mannerisms and ease of speaking made me frown at the whole situation.


    He pulled the chair for me and moved away. Looking at his calm figure freely moving around as if it was normal for him, I sat down. The thoughts roaming in my head made my head ache terribly, so much that I found it unbearable to handle it.


    "Why are you being so good to me?" I asked. Why was it heading in the direction of the scene played by my mind?


    "Should I be bad to you?" His thin lips stretched into an amused smile. He sat before me as he prepared the plate for me adding a little bit of everything onto it.


    I stared down at the plate. I raised my head and properly looked at him. There was not even the slightest trace of the man I had seen before, who kicked and lashed out on his man. The man seating before me seemed like a normal guy. Then why would he kidnap me? Now, he expected me to behave as if nothing had happened?


    He must be crazy if he thought it that way.


    "You kidnapped me."


    He smiled, "Did I?"

 Chapter 98 - Destinys Cruel Play

    |Eshan|


    "I''m back to take what belongs to me."


    I hurled the mobile. It went flying and hit the wall opposite me before falling on the ground in a broken state. I wanted to break the man responsible for everything in a similar way. Innaya did not belong to anyone but me, the same way I belonged to her. I would not allow any bastard to barge in our life and claim something which was mine.


    "Who the hell you think, you are? You bastard. Innaya is mine. Do you hear? Innaya is mine," I shouted at the top of my lungs. His minions should hear and convey my message to their boss. My eyes turned red with tears. Innaya''s scared face tugging at my heart as I tried to suppress the growing need of hurting myself.


    Arjun barged inside the room. He started packing away all the things.


    "Let''s go. I found her."


    The one sentence from him ignited the countless sparks in my heart. The rage, disappointment, guilt and every other negative feeling temporarily took a back seat as I focused on the good news.


    |Eshan|


    "I''m back to take what belongs to me."


    I hurled the mobile. It went flying and hit the wall opposite me before falling on the ground in a broken state. I wanted to break the man responsible for everything in a similar way. Innaya did not belong to anyone but me, the same way I belonged to her. I would not allow any bastard to barge in our life and claim something which was mine.


    "Who the hell you think, you are? You bastard. Innaya is mine. Do you hear? Innaya is mine," I shouted at the top of my lungs. His minions should hear and convey my message to their boss. My eyes turned red with tears. Innaya''s scared face tugging at my heart as I tried to suppress the growing need of hurting myself.


    Arjun barged inside the room. He started packing away all the things.


    "Let''s go. I found her."


    The one sentence from him ignited the countless sparks in my heart. The rage, disappointment, guilt and every other negative feeling temporarily took a back seat as I focused on the good news.


    |Eshan|


    "I''m back to take what belongs to me."


    I hurled the mobile. It went flying and hit the wall opposite me before falling on the ground in a broken state. I wanted to break the man responsible for everything in a similar way. Innaya did not belong to anyone but me, the same way I belonged to her. I would not allow any bastard to barge in our life and claim something which was mine.


    "Who the hell you think, you are? You bastard. Innaya is mine. Do you hear? Innaya is mine," I shouted at the top of my lungs. His minions should hear and convey my message to their boss. My eyes turned red with tears. Innaya''s scared face tugging at my heart as I tried to suppress the growing need of hurting myself.


    Arjun barged inside the room. He started packing away all the things.


    "Let''s go. I found her."


    The one sentence from him ignited the countless sparks in my heart. The rage, disappointment, guilt and every other negative feeling temporarily took a back seat as I focused on the good news.


    |Eshan|


    "I''m back to take what belongs to me."


    I hurled the mobile. It went flying and hit the wall opposite me before falling on the ground in a broken state. I wanted to break the man responsible for everything in a similar way. Innaya did not belong to anyone but me, the same way I belonged to her. I would not allow any bastard to barge in our life and claim something which was mine.


    "Who the hell you think, you are? You bastard. Innaya is mine. Do you hear? Innaya is mine," I shouted at the top of my lungs. His minions should hear and convey my message to their boss. My eyes turned red with tears. Innaya''s scared face tugging at my heart as I tried to suppress the growing need of hurting myself.


    Arjun barged inside the room. He started packing away all the things.


    "Let''s go. I found her."


    The one sentence from him ignited the countless sparks in my heart. The rage, disappointment, guilt and every other negative feeling temporarily took a back seat as I focused on the good news.


    |Eshan|


    "I''m back to take what belongs to me."


    I hurled the mobile. It went flying and hit the wall opposite me before falling on the ground in a broken state. I wanted to break the man responsible for everything in a similar way. Innaya did not belong to anyone but me, the same way I belonged to her. I would not allow any bastard to barge in our life and claim something which was mine.


    "Who the hell you think, you are? You bastard. Innaya is mine. Do you hear? Innaya is mine," I shouted at the top of my lungs. His minions should hear and convey my message to their boss. My eyes turned red with tears. Innaya''s scared face tugging at my heart as I tried to suppress the growing need of hurting myself.


    Arjun barged inside the room. He started packing away all the things.


    "Let''s go. I found her."


    The one sentence from him ignited the countless sparks in my heart. The rage, disappointment, guilt and every other negative feeling temporarily took a back seat as I focused on the good news.


    |Eshan|


    "I''m back to take what belongs to me."


    I hurled the mobile. It went flying and hit the wall opposite me before falling on the ground in a broken state. I wanted to break the man responsible for everything in a similar way. Innaya did not belong to anyone but me, the same way I belonged to her. I would not allow any bastard to barge in our life and claim something which was mine.


    "Who the hell you think, you are? You bastard. Innaya is mine. Do you hear? Innaya is mine," I shouted at the top of my lungs. His minions should hear and convey my message to their boss. My eyes turned red with tears. Innaya''s scared face tugging at my heart as I tried to suppress the growing need of hurting myself.


    Arjun barged inside the room. He started packing away all the things.


    "Let''s go. I found her."


    The one sentence from him ignited the countless sparks in my heart. The rage, disappointment, guilt and every other negative feeling temporarily took a back seat as I focused on the good news.


    |Eshan|


    "I''m back to take what belongs to me."


    I hurled the mobile. It went flying and hit the wall opposite me before falling on the ground in a broken state. I wanted to break the man responsible for everything in a similar way. Innaya did not belong to anyone but me, the same way I belonged to her. I would not allow any bastard to barge in our life and claim something which was mine.


    "Who the hell you think, you are? You bastard. Innaya is mine. Do you hear? Innaya is mine," I shouted at the top of my lungs. His minions should hear and convey my message to their boss. My eyes turned red with tears. Innaya''s scared face tugging at my heart as I t

 Chapter 99 - Finding Her

    |Eshan|


    Looked like, I had judged the situation too soon. Many footsteps rushed from the inside, and soon the empty living room turned into a chaotic event. More than ten men dressed in black suits stood aiming a gun at us.


    I frowned when my eyes met with the one leading the group. He looked familiar. I had seen him somewhere. Stressing my memory, I recalled who he might be.


    "Mark?" I called out his name with slight suspicion. His lack of response confirmed my suspicion as his eyes guiltily avoided my gaze.


    The man standing before me was the head of the security team. A couple of years ago, someone had recommended his team to me for my security purpose, but I had declined. At that time, I did not need security otherwise, Mark''s team was the best option. Meeting him after so long and in this kind of situation had me puzzled.


    ***


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 Chapter 100 - I Love You!

    |Innaya|


    I felt like banging my head against something because the man before me made me feel so frustrated that I could not even find the words to describe it. As I peeped at the clock, I realized more than two hours had passed since he stepped his foot inside the room. More than two hours had passed since I sat on this chair, looking at extravagantly prepared dishes before me. More than two hours of uncomfortable silence.


    I refused to have the food before me. The man did not even insist. He just sat there, fiddling with his mobile, leaving me to make my choice. He did not seem to be in a hurry to leave or answer my questions. After his last statement where he answered or rather retorted asking me he kidnapped me or not, he kept mum.


    Was he mentally retarded? Or he was just pretending to be ignorant?


    My body demanded food and water. Any normal human would require after being starved for more than twelve hours, yet I held on. I would not touch anything offered to me by these people.


    |Innaya|


    I felt like banging my head against something because the man before me made me feel so frustrated that I could not even find the words to describe it. As I peeped at the clock, I realized more than two hours had passed since he stepped his foot inside the room. More than two hours had passed since I sat on this chair, looking at extravagantly prepared dishes before me. More than two hours of uncomfortable silence.


    I refused to have the food before me. The man did not even insist. He just sat there, fiddling with his mobile, leaving me to make my choice. He did not seem to be in a hurry to leave or answer my questions. After his last statement where he answered or rather retorted asking me he kidnapped me or not, he kept mum.


    Was he mentally retarded? Or he was just pretending to be ignorant?


    My body demanded food and water. Any normal human would require after being starved for more than twelve hours, yet I held on. I would not touch anything offered to me by these people.


    |Innaya|


    I felt like banging my head against something because the man before me made me feel so frustrated that I could not even find the words to describe it. As I peeped at the clock, I realized more than two hours had passed since he stepped his foot inside the room. More than two hours had passed since I sat on this chair, looking at extravagantly prepared dishes before me. More than two hours of uncomfortable silence.


    I refused to have the food before me. The man did not even insist. He just sat there, fiddling with his mobile, leaving me to make my choice. He did not seem to be in a hurry to leave or answer my questions. After his last statement where he answered or rather retorted asking me he kidnapped me or not, he kept mum.


    Was he mentally retarded? Or he was just pretending to be ignorant?


    My body demanded food and water. Any normal human would require after being starved for more than twelve hours, yet I held on. I would not touch anything offered to me by these people.


    |Innaya|


    I felt like banging my head against something because the man before me made me feel so frustrated that I could not even find the words to describe it. As I peeped at the clock, I realized more than two hours had passed since he stepped his foot inside the room. More than two hours had passed since I sat on this chair, looking at extravagantly prepared dishes before me. More than two hours of uncomfortable silence.


    I refused to have the food before me. The man did not even insist. He just sat there, fiddling with his mobile, leaving me to make my choice. He did not seem to be in a hurry to leave or answer my questions. After his last statement where he answered or rather retorted asking me he kidnapped me or not, he kept mum.


    Was he mentally retarded? Or he was just pretending to be ignorant?


    My body demanded food and water. Any normal human would require after being starved for more than twelve hours, yet I held on. I would not touch anything offered to me by these people.


    |Innaya|


    I felt like banging my head against something because the man before me made me feel so frustrated that I could not even find the words to describe it. As I peeped at the clock, I realized more than two hours had passed since he stepped his foot inside the room. More than two hours had passed since I sat on this chair, looking at extravagantly prepared dishes before me. More than two hours of uncomfortable silence.


    I refused to have the food before me. The man did not even insist. He just sat there, fiddling with his mobile, leaving me to make my choice. He did not seem to be in a hurry to leave or answer my questions. After his last statement where he answered or rather retorted asking me he kidnapped me or not, he kept mum.


    Was he mentally retarded? Or he was just pretending to be ignorant?


    My body demanded food and water. Any normal human would require after being starved for more than twelve hours, yet I held on. I would not touch anything offered to me by these people.


    questions. After his last statement where he answered or rather retorted asking me he kidnapped me or not, he.


    Was he mentally retarded? Or he was just pretending to be ignorant?


    My body demanded food and water. Any normal human would require after being starved for more than twelve hours, yet I held on. I would not touch anything offered to me by these people.

 Chapter 101 - Breathless...

    |Eshan|


    Blinking my eyes, I looked down at the woman before me in my arms. Twice she confessed her love to me. The first time I was not able to believe it, but now as she gazed at me with all the love in her teary eyes, I would be the dumbest person alive if I remained unmoved.


    Cupping Innaya''s neck, I brought her face close to me. Gradually, I swooped down, maintaining eye contact with her. Deliberately I kept my movements gradual, giving her time to make a decision. I understood that she was emotional, but people always did not make emotional judgments. Last time, I had refused to believe in her words.


    This time, I could feel her sincerity. I would be a fool if I refused to trust her. I knew she was telling the truth. It was love. She was in love with me.


    I felt her warm breath caressing my skin. My senses tingled with little excitement and a lot more nervousness. My eyes moved across her face before they came to rest on her lips.


    |Eshan|


    Blinking my eyes, I looked down at the woman before me in my arms. Twice she confessed her love to me. The first time I was not able to believe it, but now as she gazed at me with all the love in her teary eyes, I would be the dumbest person alive if I remained unmoved.


    Cupping Innaya''s neck, I brought her face close to me. Gradually, I swooped down, maintaining eye contact with her. Deliberately I kept my movements gradual, giving her time to make a decision. I understood that she was emotional, but people always did not make emotional judgments. Last time, I had refused to believe in her words.


    This time, I could feel her sincerity. I would be a fool if I refused to trust her. I knew she was telling the truth. It was love. She was in love with me.


    I felt her warm breath caressing my skin. My senses tingled with little excitement and a lot more nervousness. My eyes moved across her face before they came to rest on her lips.


    |Eshan|


    Blinking my eyes, I looked down at the woman before me in my arms. Twice she confessed her love to me. The first time I was not able to believe it, but now as she gazed at me with all the love in her teary eyes, I would be the dumbest person alive if I remained unmoved.


    Cupping Innaya''s neck, I brought her face close to me. Gradually, I swooped down, maintaining eye contact with her. Deliberately I kept my movements gradual, giving her time to make a decision. I understood that she was emotional, but people always did not make emotional judgments. Last time, I had refused to believe in her words.


    This time, I could feel her sincerity. I would be a fool if I refused to trust her. I knew she was telling the truth. It was love. She was in love with me.


    I felt her warm breath caressing my skin. My senses tingled with little excitement and a lot more nervousness. My eyes moved across her face before they came to rest on her lips.


    |Eshan|


    Blinking my eyes, I looked down at the woman before me in my arms. Twice she confessed her love to me. The first time I was not able to believe it, but now as she gazed at me with all the love in her teary eyes, I would be the dumbest person alive if I remained unmoved.


    Cupping Innaya''s neck, I brought her face close to me. Gradually, I swooped down, maintaining eye contact with her. Deliberately I kept my movements gradual, giving her time to make a decision. I understood that she was emotional, but people always did not make emotional judgments. Last time, I had refused to believe in her words.


    This time, I could feel her sincerity. I would be a fool if I refused to trust her. I knew she was telling the truth. It was love. She was in love with me.


    I felt her warm breath caressing my skin. My senses tingled with little excitement and a lot more nervousness. My eyes moved across her face before they came to rest on her lips.


    |Eshan|


    Blinking my eyes, I looked down at the woman before me in my arms. Twice she confessed her love to me. The first time I was not able to believe it, but now as she gazed at me with all the love in her teary eyes, I would be the dumbest person alive if I remained unmoved.


    Cupping Innaya''s neck, I brought her face close to me. Gradually, I swooped down, maintaining eye contact with her. Deliberately I kept my movements gradual, giving her time to make a decision. I understood that she was emotional, but people always did not make emotional judgments. Last time, I had refused to believe in her words.


    This time, I could feel her sincerity. I would be a fool if I refused to trust her. I knew she was telling the truth. It was love. She was in love with me.


    I felt her warm breath caressing my skin. My senses tingled with little excitement and a lot more nervousness. My eyes moved across her face before they came to rest on her lips.


    |Eshan|


    Blinking my eyes, I looked down at the woman before me in my arms. Twice she confessed her love to me. The first time I was not able to believe it, but now as she gazed at me with all the love in her teary eyes, I would be the dumbest person alive if I remained unmoved.


    Cupping Innaya''s neck, I brought her face close to me. Gradually, I swooped down, maintaining eye contact with her. Deliberately I kept my movements gradual, giving her time to make a decision. I understood that she was emotional, but people always did not make emotional judgments. Last time, I had refused to believe in her words.


    This time, I could feel her sincerity. I would be a fool if I refused to trust her. I knew she was telling the truth. It was love. She was in love with me.


    I felt her warm breath caressing my skin. My senses tingled with little excitement and a lot more nervousness. My eyes moved across her face before they came to rest on her lips.


    |Eshan|


    Blinking my eyes, I looked down at the woman before me in my arms. Twice she confessed her love to me. The first time I was not able to believe it, but now as she gazed at me with all the love in her teary eyes, I would be the dumbest person alive if I remained unmoved.


    Cupping Innaya''s neck, I brought her face close to me. Gradually, I swooped down, maintaining eye contact with her. Deliberately I kept my movements gradual, giving her time to make a decision. I

 Chapter 102 - I’ll Show Them What Is It To Mess With My Wife

    |Eshan|


    When we left that penthouse, our way to the outside was clear. All the men occupying the living room seemed to have disappeared. It was a good thing, for I did not know how I would have reacted to their presence. After discerning the present condition of Innaya, all I ached to do was to beat the ones responsible for her condition.


    After getting down on the ground floor, I found all three friends of mine waiting before lift doors. I ignored them as I urged Ayush to move quicker.


    "Hey, how can you leave us?" Sameer was the one to whine. He had the guts to do so? What did he think, we were doing? "And, where''s Arjun?"


    If you are not reading this at W e b n o v e l .com, then the content you''re reading is stolen! Please support the author at [https://m.webnovel.com/book/13985109706862805 ]''


    |Eshan|


    When we left that penthouse, our way to the outside was clear. All the men occupying the living room seemed to have disappeared. It was a good thing, for I did not know how I would have reacted to their presence. After discerning the present condition of Innaya, all I ached to do was to beat the ones responsible for her condition.


    After getting down on the ground floor, I found all three friends of mine waiting before lift doors. I ignored them as I urged Ayush to move quicker.


    "Hey, how can you leave us?" Sameer was the one to whine. He had the guts to do so? What did he think, we were doing? "And, where''s Arjun?"


    If you are not reading this at W e b n o v e l .com, then the content you''re reading is stolen! Please support the author at [https://m.webnovel.com/book/13985109706862805 ]''


    |Eshan|


    When we left that penthouse, our way to the outside was clear. All the men occupying the living room seemed to have disappeared. It was a good thing, for I did not know how I would have reacted to their presence. After discerning the present condition of Innaya, all I ached to do was to beat the ones responsible for her condition.


    After getting down on the ground floor, I found all three friends of mine waiting before lift doors. I ignored them as I urged Ayush to move quicker.


    "Hey, how can you leave us?" Sameer was the one to whine. He had the guts to do so? What did he think, we were doing? "And, where''s Arjun?"


    If you are not reading this at W e b n o v e l .com, then the content you''re reading is stolen! Please support the author at [https://m.webnovel.com/book/13985109706862805 ]''


    |Eshan|


    When we left that penthouse, our way to the outside was clear. All the men occupying the living room seemed to have disappeared. It was a good thing, for I did not know how I would have reacted to their presence. After discerning the present condition of Innaya, all I ached to do was to beat the ones responsible for her condition.


    After getting down on the ground floor, I found all three friends of mine waiting before lift doors. I ignored them as I urged Ayush to move quicker.


    "Hey, how can you leave us?" Sameer was the one to whine. He had the guts to do so? What did he think, we were doing? "And, where''s Arjun?"


    If you are not reading this at W e b n o v e l .com, then the content you''re reading is stolen! Please support the author at [https://m.webnovel.com/book/13985109706862805 ]''


    |Eshan|


    When we left that penthouse, our way to the outside was clear. All the men occupying the living room seemed to have disappeared. It was a good thing, for I did not know how I would have reacted to their presence. After discerning the present condition of Innaya, all I ached to do was to beat the ones responsible for her condition.


    After getting down on the ground floor, I found all three friends of mine waiting before lift doors. I ignored them as I urged Ayush to move quicker.


    "Hey, how can you leave us?" Sameer was the one to whine. He had the guts to do so? What did he think, we were doing? "And, where''s Arjun?"


    If you are not reading this at W e b n o v e l .com, then the content you''re reading is stolen! Please support the author at [https://m.webnovel.com/book/13985109706862805 ]''


    |Eshan|


    When we left that penthouse, our way to the outside was clear. All the men occupying the living room seemed to have disappeared. It was a good thing, for I did not know how I would have reacted to their presence. After discerning the present condition of Innaya, all I ached to do was to beat the ones responsible for her condition.


    After getting down on the ground floor, I found all three friends of mine waiting before lift doors. I ignored them as I urged Ayush to move quicker.


    "Hey, how can you leave us?" Sameer was the one to whine. He had the guts to do so? What did he think, we were doing? "And, where''s Arjun?"


    If you are not reading this at W e b n o v e l .com, then the content you''re reading is stolen! Please support the author at [https://m.webnovel.com/book/13985109706862805 ]''


    |Eshan|


    When we left that penthouse, our way to the outside was clear. All the men occupying the living room seemed to have disappeared. It was a good thing, for I did not know how I would have reacted to their presence. After discerning the present condition of Innaya, all I ached to do was to beat the ones responsible for her condition.


    After getting down on the ground floor, I found all three friends of mine waiting before lift doors. I ignored them as I urged Ayush to move q


    |Eshan|


    When we left that penthouse, our way to the outside was clear. All the men occupying the living room seemed to have disappeared. It was a good thing, for I did not know how I would have reacted to their presence. After discerning the present condition of Innaya, all I ached to do was to beat the ones responsible for her condition.


    After getting down on the ground floor, I found all three friends of mine waiting before lift doors. I ignored them as I urged Ayush to move quicker.


    "Hey, how can you leave us?" Sameer was the one to whine. He had the guts to do so? What did he think, we were doing? "And, where''s Arjun?"


    If you are not reading this at W e b n o v e l .com, then the content you''re reading is stolen! Please support the author at [https://m.webnovel.com/book/13985109706862805 ]''

 Chapter 103 - Shameless

    |Innaya|


    I perceived someone''s touch on my skin. A constant voice kept saying something in my ears. I failed to distinguish or pinpoint the reason, but there was a warm kind of feeling surrounding me. Both touch and that voice provided safety to which I could feel my body responding.


    The voices around me got louder. It sounded like people were arguing. Why? I tried to move my fingers, but they were trapped as if someone was holding them. I frowned in confusion. Opening my eyes, I wanted to see where I was. What those voices were? However, the task seemed very troublesome.


    |Innaya|


    I perceived someone''s touch on my skin. A constant voice kept saying something in my ears. I failed to distinguish or pinpoint the reason, but there was a warm kind of feeling surrounding me. Both touch and that voice provided safety to which I could feel my body responding.


    The voices around me got louder. It sounded like people were arguing. Why? I tried to move my fingers, but they were trapped as if someone was holding them. I frowned in confusion. Opening my eyes, I wanted to see where I was. What those voices were? However, the task seemed very troublesome.


    |Innaya|


    I perceived someone''s touch on my skin. A constant voice kept saying something in my ears. I failed to distinguish or pinpoint the reason, but there was a warm kind of feeling surrounding me. Both touch and that voice provided safety to which I could feel my body responding.


    The voices around me got louder. It sounded like people were arguing. Why? I tried to move my fingers, but they were trapped as if someone was holding them. I frowned in confusion. Opening my eyes, I wanted to see where I was. What those voices were? However, the task seemed very troublesome.


    |Innaya|


    I perceived someone''s touch on my skin. A constant voice kept saying something in my ears. I failed to distinguish or pinpoint the reason, but there was a warm kind of feeling surrounding me. Both touch and that voice provided safety to which I could feel my body responding.


    The voices around me got louder. It sounded like people were arguing. Why? I tried to move my fingers, but they were trapped as if someone was holding them. I frowned in confusion. Opening my eyes, I wanted to see where I was. What those voices were? However, the task seemed very troublesome.


    |Innaya|


    I perceived someone''s touch on my skin. A constant voice kept saying something in my ears. I failed to distinguish or pinpoint the reason, but there was a warm kind of feeling surrounding me. Both touch and that voice provided safety to which I could feel my body responding.


    The voices around me got louder. It sounded like people were arguing. Why? I tried to move my fingers, but they were trapped as if someone was holding them. I frowned in confusion. Opening my eyes, I wanted to see where I was. What those voices were? However, the task seemed very troublesome.


    |Innaya|


    I perceived someone''s touch on my skin. A constant voice kept saying something in my ears. I failed to distinguish or pinpoint the reason, but there was a warm kind of feeling surrounding me. Both touch and that voice provided safety to which I could feel my body responding.


    The voices around me got louder. It sounded like people were arguing. Why? I tried to move my fingers, but they were trapped as if someone was holding them. I frowned in confusion. Opening my eyes, I wanted to see where I was. What those voices were? However, the task seemed very troublesome.


    |Innaya|


    I perceived someone''s touch on my skin. A constant voice kept saying something in my ears. I failed to distinguish or pinpoint the reason, but there was a warm kind of feeling surrounding me. Both touch and that voice provided safety to which I could feel my body responding.


    The voices around me got louder. It sounded like people were arguing. Why? I tried to move my fingers, but they were trapped as if someone was holding them. I frowned in confusion. Opening my eyes, I wanted to see where I was. What those voices were? However, the task seemed very troublesome.


    |Innaya|


    I perceived someone''s touch on my skin. A constant voice kept saying something in my ears. I failed to distinguish or pinpoint the reason, but there was a warm kind of feeling surrounding me. Both touch and that voice provided safety to which I could feel my body responding.


    The voices around me got louder. It sounded like people were arguing. Why? I tried to move my fingers, but they were trapped as if someone was holding them. I frowned in confusion. Opening my eyes, I wanted to see where I was. What those voices were? However, the task seemed very troublesome.


    |Innaya|


    I perceived someone''s touch on my skin. A constant voice kept saying something in my ears. I failed to distinguish or pinpoint the reason, but there was a warm kind of feeling surrounding me. Both touch and that voice provided safety to which I could feel my body responding.


    The voices around me got louder. It sounded like people were arguing. Why? I tried to move my fingers, but they were trapped as if someone was holding them. I frowned in confusion. Opening my eyes, I wanted to see where I was. What those voices were? However, the task seemed very troublesome.


    |Innaya|


    I perceived someone''s touch on my skin. A constant voice kept saying something in my ears. I failed to distinguish or pinpoint the reason, but there was a warm kind of feeling surrounding me. Both touch and that voice provided safety to which I could feel my body responding.


    The voices around me got louder. It sounded like people were arguing. Why? I tried to move my fingers, but they were trapped as if someone was holding them. I frowned in confusion. Opening my eyes, I wanted to see where I was. What those voices were? However, the task seemed very troublesome.

 Chapter 104 - Give Me a Niece or a Nephew

    |Innaya|


    Even after chiding them, the three men did not show any signs of stopping. Arjun, and Ayush, kept grilling Eshan. Moreover, my husband, instead of being his usual calm self, chose to retort in silly ways. It was mortifying to witness this side of them. I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in it.


    Thankfully, their conversation shifted from our kiss to food and from food to some farmhouse of Arjun''s. In the end, Arjun and Ayush occupied two stools and switched on the television engrossing themselves in the football match.


    I breathed a sigh of relief when their focus shifted to another topic. I closed my tired eyes. The exhaustion I felt did not seem to be going away soon. It was as if I had done manual labor of shifting heavyweights. The aching in my whole body was prominent. I just wanted to sleep. My stomach also demanded food, and I could feel the hunger overpowering my desire to sleep. First, I wanted to eat and then sleep.


    Eshan''s thumb stroked insides of my palm, breaking my thoughts of eating and sleeping. The slow movement of his caused tingles to shoot through my skin. Was that side effect of being on medication or perhaps hunger was causing it? I tried to calm down my nerves.


    |Innaya|


    Even after chiding them, the three men did not show any signs of stopping. Arjun, and Ayush, kept grilling Eshan. Moreover, my husband, instead of being his usual calm self, chose to retort in silly ways. It was mortifying to witness this side of them. I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in it.


    Thankfully, their conversation shifted from our kiss to food and from food to some farmhouse of Arjun''s. In the end, Arjun and Ayush occupied two stools and switched on the television engrossing themselves in the football match.


    I breathed a sigh of relief when their focus shifted to another topic. I closed my tired eyes. The exhaustion I felt did not seem to be going away soon. It was as if I had done manual labor of shifting heavyweights. The aching in my whole body was prominent. I just wanted to sleep. My stomach also demanded food, and I could feel the hunger overpowering my desire to sleep. First, I wanted to eat and then sleep.


    Eshan''s thumb stroked insides of my palm, breaking my thoughts of eating and sleeping. The slow movement of his caused tingles to shoot through my skin. Was that side effect of being on medication or perhaps hunger was causing it? I tried to calm down my nerves.


    |Innaya|


    Even after chiding them, the three men did not show any signs of stopping. Arjun, and Ayush, kept grilling Eshan. Moreover, my husband, instead of being his usual calm self, chose to retort in silly ways. It was mortifying to witness this side of them. I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in it.


    Thankfully, their conversation shifted from our kiss to food and from food to some farmhouse of Arjun''s. In the end, Arjun and Ayush occupied two stools and switched on the television engrossing themselves in the football match.


    I breathed a sigh of relief when their focus shifted to another topic. I closed my tired eyes. The exhaustion I felt did not seem to be going away soon. It was as if I had done manual labor of shifting heavyweights. The aching in my whole body was prominent. I just wanted to sleep. My stomach also demanded food, and I could feel the hunger overpowering my desire to sleep. First, I wanted to eat and then sleep.


    Eshan''s thumb stroked insides of my palm, breaking my thoughts of eating and sleeping. The slow movement of his caused tingles to shoot through my skin. Was that side effect of being on medication or perhaps hunger was causing it? I tried to calm down my nerves.


    |Innaya|


    Even after chiding them, the three men did not show any signs of stopping. Arjun, and Ayush, kept grilling Eshan. Moreover, my husband, instead of being his usual calm self, chose to retort in silly ways. It was mortifying to witness this side of them. I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in it.


    Thankfully, their conversation shifted from our kiss to food and from food to some farmhouse of Arjun''s. In the end, Arjun and Ayush occupied two stools and switched on the television engrossing themselves in the football match.


    I breathed a sigh of relief when their focus shifted to another topic. I closed my tired eyes. The exhaustion I felt did not seem to be going away soon. It was as if I had done manual labor of shifting heavyweights. The aching in my whole body was prominent. I just wanted to sleep. My stomach also demanded food, and I could feel the hunger overpowering my desire to sleep. First, I wanted to eat and then sleep.


    Eshan''s thumb stroked insides of my palm, breaking my thoughts of eating and sleeping. The slow movement of his caused tingles to shoot through my skin. Was that side effect of being on medication or perhaps hunger was causing it? I tried to calm down my nerves.


    |Innaya|


    Even after chiding them, the three men did not show any signs of stopping. Arjun, and Ayush, kept grilling Eshan. Moreover, my husband, instead of being his usual calm self, chose to retort in silly ways. It was mortifying to witness this side of them. I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in it.


    Thankfully, their conversation shifted from our kiss to food and from food to some farmhouse of Arjun''s. In the end, Arjun and Ayush occupied two stools and switched on the television engrossing themselves in the football match.


    I breathed a sigh of relief when their focus shifted to another topic. I closed my tired eyes. The exhaustion I felt did not seem to be going away soon. It was as if I had done manual labor of shifting heavyweights. The aching in my whole body was prominent. I just wanted to sleep. My stomach also demanded food, and I could feel the hunger overpowering my desire to sleep. First, I wanted to eat and then sleep.


    Eshan''s thumb stroked insides of my palm, breaking my thoughts of eating and sleeping. The slow movement of his caused tingles to shoot through my skin. Was that side effect of being on medication or perhaps hunger was causing it? I tried to calm down my nerves.


    |Innaya|


    Even after chiding them, the three men did not show any signs of stopping. Arjun, and Ayush, kept grilling Eshan. Moreover, my husband, instead of being his usual calm self, chose to retort in silly ways. It was mortifying to witness this side of them. I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in it.


    Thankfully, their conversation shifted from our kiss to food and from food to some farmhouse of Arjun''s. In the end, Arjun and Ayush occupied two stools and switched on the television engrossing themselves in the football match.


    I breathed a sigh of relief when their focus shifted to another topic. I closed my tired eyes. The exhaustion I felt did not seem to be going away soon. It was as if I had done manual labor of shifting heavyweights. The aching in my whole body was prominent. I just wanted to sleep. My stomach also demanded food, and I could feel the hunger overpowering my desire to sleep. First, I wanted to eat and then sleep.


    |Innaya|


    Even after chiding them, the three men did not show any signs of stopping. Arjun, and Ayush, kept grilling Eshan. Moreover, my husband, instead of being his usual calm self, chose to retort in silly ways. It was mortifying to witness this side of them. I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in it.


    Thankfully, their conversation shifted from our kiss to food and from food to some farmhouse of Arjun''s. In the end, Arjun and Ayush occupied two stools and switched on the television engrossing themselves in the football match.


    I breathed a sigh of relief when their focus shifted to another topic. I closed my tired eyes. The exhaustion I felt did not seem to be going away soon. It was as if I had done manual labor of shifting heavyweights. The aching in my whole body was prominent. I just wanted to sleep. My stomach also demanded food, and I could feel the hunger overpowering my desire to sleep. First, I wanted to eat and then sleep.


    Eshan''s thumb stroked insides of my palm, breaking my thoughts of eating and sleeping. The slow movement of his caused tingles to shoot through my skin. Was that side effect of being on medication or perhaps hunger was causing it? I tried to calm down my nerves.


    Eshan''s thumb stroked insides of my palm, breaking my thoughts of eating and sleeping. The slow movement of his caused tingles to shoot through my skin. Was that side effect of being on medication or perhaps hunger was causing it? I tried to calm down my nerves.


    |Innaya|


    Even after chiding them, the three men did not show any signs of stopping. Arjun, and Ayush, kept grilling Eshan. Moreover, my husband, instead of being his usual calm self, chose to retort in silly ways. It was mortifying to witness this side of them. I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in it.


    Thankfully, their conversation shifted from our kiss to food and from food to some farmhouse of Arjun''s. In the end, Arjun and Ayush occupied two stools and switched on the television engrossing themselves in the football match.


    I breathed a sigh of relief when their focus shifted to another topic. I closed my tired eyes. The exhaustion I felt did not seem to be going away soon. It was as if I had done manual labor of shifting heavyweights. The aching in my whole body was prominent. I just wanted to sleep. My stomach also demanded food, and I could feel the hunger overpowering my desire to sleep. First, I wanted to eat and then sleep.


    Eshan''s thumb stroked insides of my palm, breaking my thoughts of eating and sleeping. The slow movement of his caused tingles to shoot through my skin. Was that side effect of being on medication or perhaps hunger was causing it? I tried to calm down my nerves.

 Chapter 105 - Changing Equations

    |Innaya|


    "See this. They can start anywhere."


    Arjun''s remark instantly had me straightening up. I found ground interesting at that point. Breathing deeply, I tried to minimize my presence as much as I could. Eshan''s hand still holding mine did not let me relax completely.


    "You have the worst timing ever," Eshan drily taunted.


    After making sure that my face would not give away my shyness, I lifted my head. They both had returned with holding glasses in their hands.


    "Here." Arjun forwarded his hand. In his both hands, there were two glasses with green color liquid.


    My nose scrunched up. Was he trying to make me drink the bitter guard juice? "What? Do you want me to drink this? I hate bitter things," I replied distastefully.


    Arjun''s eyes flickered towards Eshan before he focused his blue eyes on me."So what? You''re unwell." He shrugged his shoulders.


    "This is good for your health. Here, take this." He thrust the glass in my hand.


    I looked at Eshan for his help. I did not want to drink it. I was starving but not to the point of drinking this bitter juice. I could hold my hunger some more.


    I had not noticed that Ayush had given a glass of that green color liquid to Eshan as well. Eshan''s glass was already half empty. Eshan sipped the juice, and his face showed no signs of being uncomfortable.


    I turned to Arjun, making the best puppy face I could manage, hoping to get out of this predicament.


    Arjun shook his head in denial. "We''re giving you company as well. So, be good and finish it quickly." He stood firmly on his point, and I realized I had no other option but to drink it. If I knew they both were taking so long to bring this vile drink, then I would have taken a cab and left with Eshan.


    Attempting for the last time, I looked at three faces one by one, but they were looking at me amusedly. The glasses in their hands were empty. How could they finish it without a twitch in facial muscle?


    "Don''t smell it," Arjun warned, holding back laughter. I glared resentfully at Eshan. He could have stopped this, but now he decided to shit his mouth.


    I grimaced looking at the glass in my hand. Arjun''s warning was a good thing. Resigning to my fate, I brought the glass to my lips and held my breath. The good-morning was going to turn into a bitter one.


    Begrudgingly, I gulped the content. My eyes widened when instead of bitterness, sweetness filled my mouth.


    Sound of chuckles reverberated around me. I choked on the drink and started coughing badly.


    "It''s- It''s sweet," I stammered as I tried to stop the coughs.


    "Of course. Who told you that sugarcane juice was bitter?" Ayush smiled.


    Arjun stepped forward as he rubbed my back. After regaining control, I finished the juice without speaking a word. I already made a fool of myself, and I had no desire to have a repeat of it. I handed my empty glass to Ayush as I stood with my head down. I smiled at my own foolishness.


    "We accidentally found the stall of fresh juice around the corner so we thought it would be good," Ayush replied as he left to return those glasses. Arjun followed behind him.


    Soon both of them returned with the SUV.


    After settling inside of the SUV, Arjun turned his head towards us from the driver''s seat. "Let''s go. I''m hungry," Arjun butted in, and I could not agree more.


    *


    *


    *


    Once getting back to our home, I straightaway went to take the bath. Eshan said he did not need my help in freshening up. It was inconvenient to take his wheelchair upstairs. Thus, I temporarily decided to use the guestroom on the ground floor as our bedroom. After settling his things there, I left for our bedroom upstairs. Before shifting our other essential belongings, I spent almost an hour into bathing.


    Soaking my body in hot water helped in easing my taut nerves. Sitting for ten hours tied on the chair was surely not a good feeling. The marks left by those ropes stung when water touched them as the skin was scraped at some part. Washing away the tiredness, I finally got out of the tub feeling little refreshed.


    Getting ready in the bedroom, I left for the downstairs. I still had to prepare food for us. I knew Eshan must have not eaten, and that extended to Arjun as well. Regarding Ayush, I had no special opining. He was Eshan''s friend for me like the rest of other friends.


    I also wondered where the rest of them was.


    Eshan was injured that he had to be in the wheelchair. The news must have reached their ears, so why weren''t they with him? I also had no recollection of what happened in-between. I only knew my side of the story. Eshan''s side of the story was still unclear to me. Maybe, after eating he could shed some light on that.


    As I reached down, the spicy scent of freshly cooked meals wafted in the air. Automatically my feet turned in the direction of the kitchen. When I reached the dining room, I was amazed at finding the sight before my eyes.


    The dining table was filled with neatly arranged dishes, and Ayush and Arjun were bringing more containers from the kitchen. Eshan sat at the head chair, freshly showered, and changed into a clean set of clothes. As if he was supervising the whole process.


    "What''s going on here?" I asked. Eshan''s eyes snapped in my direction.


    His eyes trailed from my head to toe. I felt strange emotions erupting in my chest with that intense gaze of his. I adjusted my hair on my right shoulder. They were slightly wet, so I had not tied them. I had chosen the pink full sleeves top paired with breathable charcoal grey colored solid parallel trousers. The bottom of the trousers flared at the bottom, and they covered those marks on my legs from ropes. The full sleeves covered marks on my wrist, and it was the reason behind choosing this outfit.


    "Come here." Eshan''s low voice sent shivers down my spines.


    What was going on? After that kiss, something seemed to change between us. Technically, it was not that big deal. It was just a kiss not that we had consummated our relationship. Why were these strange emotions erupting in my body? To even the smallest thing as gazing in his eyes was causing me to feel the flutter in the pit of my stomach leave aside his innocent touches.


    ***


    If you are not reading this at W e b n o v e l .com, then the content you''re reading is stolen! Please support the author at [https://m.webnovel.com/book/13985109706862805 ]''

 Chapter 106 - Did He Get Hit In The Head?

    |Innaya|


    After devouring the delicious food prepared by Arjun, we all shifted to the living room. Feeling satisfied with the food in my stomach, I sighed in relief. I did not know Arjun could cook and that too so delicious. The early lunch was a pleasant affair as three guys joked around. I could finally feel at home because of their efforts. Eshan''s attentiveness towards me also warmed my heart.


    Holding the bowl of the kheer I sat cross-legged on the sofa beside Eshan. It was the third serving of mine. The sweetness was just perfect. The aroma of ghee laden kheer evoked my taste buds and my mouth watered. Even after having three bowls I could not help but want more.


    "Did you enjoy the cooking of this master?" Arjun boasted as soon as he appeared before us. He had gone to attend a call and as soon as he returned the first thing he did was to praise himself.


    I hummed in response as I licked my lips after finishing the remaining kheer.


    "Who''s master here? You learned from me. I''m the master here," Eshan retorted as he casually draped his hand across my shoulders. His gesture made me turn my head in his direction. His eyes were fixed on Arjun. He seemed to not notice his small action.


    I relaxed in my place and leaned into Eshan''s side. I had to agree to that. Eshan''s culinary skills were on par with a professional chef. Arjun''s skills were just a little less than him.


    "Yes, I have to agree with Eshan. But, today disciple has outshone the master,'' Ayush added as he patted Arjun''s back. Eshan smiled, nodding his head silently. He did not say the words, but I knew he was proud of his friend.


    I stretched my hand and placed the empty bowl on the coffee table. I smiled at Arjun. "It was delicious. Thank you ¨C"


    The rest of my words died on my lips when Eshan''s head suddenly turned towards me and his thumb rubbed the corner of my lips. I lifted my eyes at him and through my long eyelashes I saw how his eyes were fixated on my lips.


    "There''s something stuck," he replied.


    "Huh?" I raised my eyebrows, not understanding his meaning. It was not that I did not understand, it more had to do with my senses not working because of his abrupt closeness. My mind seemed to love hibernating once Eshan made his move. Be it his words or his actions, I would become speechless before him. As if it was some sort of hypnotism¡­


    **


    If you are not reading this at W e b n o v e l .com, then the content you''re reading is stolen! Please support the author at [https://m.webnovel.com/book/13985109706862805 ]''If you are not reading this at W e b n o v e l .com, then the content you''re reading is stolen! Please support the author at [https://m.webnovel.com/book/13985109706862805 ]''If you are not reading this at W e b n o v e l .com, then the content you''re reading is stolen! Please support the author at [https://m.webnovel.com/book/13985109706862805 ]''If you are not reading this at W e b n o v e l .com, then the content you''re reading is stolen! Please support the author at [https://m.webnovel.com/book/13985109706862805 ]''


    stolen! Please support the author at [https://m.webnovel.com/book/13985109706862805 ]''


    |Innaya|


    After devouring the delicious food prepared by Arjun, we all shifted to the living room. Feeling satisfied with the food in my stomach, I sighed in relief. I did not know Arjun could cook and that too so delicious. The early lunch was a pleasant affair as three guys joked around. I could finally feel at home because of their efforts. Eshan''s attentiveness towards me also warmed my heart.


    Holding the bowl of the kheer I sat cross-legged on the sofa beside Eshan. It was the third serving of mine. The sweetness was just perfect. The aroma of ghee laden kheer evoked my taste buds and my mouth watered. Even after having three bowls I could not help but want more.


    "Did you enjoy the cooking of this master?" Arjun boasted as soon as he appeared before us. He had gone to attend a call and as soon as he returned the first thing he did was to praise himself.


    I hummed in response as I licked my lips after finishing the remaining kheer.


    "Who''s master here? You learned from me. I''m the master here," Eshan retorted as he casually draped his hand across my shoulders. His gesture made me turn my head in his direction. His eyes were fixed on Arjun. He seemed to not notice his small action.


    I relaxed in my place and leaned into Eshan''s side. I had to agree to that. Eshan''s culinary skills were on par with a professional chef. Arjun''s skills were just a little less than him.


    "Yes, I have to agree with Eshan. But, today disciple has outshone the master,'' Ayush added as he patted Arjun''s back. Eshan smiled, nodding his head silently. He did not say the words, but I knew he was proud of his friend.


    I stretched my hand and placed the empty bowl on the coffee table. I smiled at Arjun. "It was delicious. Thank you ¨C"


    The rest of my words died on my lips when Eshan''s head suddenly turned towards me and his thumb rubbed the corner of my lips. I lifted my eyes at him and through my long eyelashes I saw how his eyes were fixated on my lips.


    "There''s something stuck," he replied.


    "Huh?" I raised my eyebrows, not understanding his meaning. It was not that I did not understand, it more had to do with my senses not working because of his abrupt closeness. My mind seemed to love hibernating once Eshan made his move. Be it his words or his actions, I would become speechless before him. As if it was some sort of hypnotism¡­

 Chapter 107 - Behind The Kidnapping

    |Innaya|


    Getting strength from Eshan''s assurance, I held his hand. Squeezing it once, I nodded my head at him.


    "Ayush, you stay out of this." This time the person who said this was Sameer.


    I slightly shifted in Eshan''s arms. The sight of five people standing before me startled me. Three of them were known faces as I had seen them often in this very own house- Sameer, Barun, and Sahil. While the person in the wheelchair was someone I recently encountered. His appearance at my home shocked me. My body unconsciously stiffened at the sight of the man who had kidnapped me.


    The memory of those men hitting Eshan.


    Visual of that dark room.


    Those ten hours spent tied on the chair, alone, helpless, scared.


    The violence transpired before my eyes and the man who did that.


    Everything was playing before my eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Getting strength from Eshan''s assurance, I held his hand. Squeezing it once, I nodded my head at him.


    "Ayush, you stay out of this." This time the person who said this was Sameer.


    I slightly shifted in Eshan''s arms. The sight of five people standing before me startled me. Three of them were known faces as I had seen them often in this very own house- Sameer, Barun, and Sahil. While the person in the wheelchair was someone I recently encountered. His appearance at my home shocked me. My body unconsciously stiffened at the sight of the man who had kidnapped me.


    The memory of those men hitting Eshan.


    Visual of that dark room.


    Those ten hours spent tied on the chair, alone, helpless, scared.


    The violence transpired before my eyes and the man who did that.


    Everything was playing before my eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Getting strength from Eshan''s assurance, I held his hand. Squeezing it once, I nodded my head at him.


    "Ayush, you stay out of this." This time the person who said this was Sameer.


    I slightly shifted in Eshan''s arms. The sight of five people standing before me startled me. Three of them were known faces as I had seen them often in this very own house- Sameer, Barun, and Sahil. While the person in the wheelchair was someone I recently encountered. His appearance at my home shocked me. My body unconsciously stiffened at the sight of the man who had kidnapped me.


    The memory of those men hitting Eshan.


    Visual of that dark room.


    Those ten hours spent tied on the chair, alone, helpless, scared.


    The violence transpired before my eyes and the man who did that.


    Everything was playing before my eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Getting strength from Eshan''s assurance, I held his hand. Squeezing it once, I nodded my head at him.


    "Ayush, you stay out of this." This time the person who said this was Sameer.


    I slightly shifted in Eshan''s arms. The sight of five people standing before me startled me. Three of them were known faces as I had seen them often in this very own house- Sameer, Barun, and Sahil. While the person in the wheelchair was someone I recently encountered. His appearance at my home shocked me. My body unconsciously stiffened at the sight of the man who had kidnapped me.


    The memory of those men hitting Eshan.


    Visual of that dark room.


    Those ten hours spent tied on the chair, alone, helpless, scared.


    The violence transpired before my eyes and the man who did that.


    Everything was playing before my eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Getting strength from Eshan''s assurance, I held his hand. Squeezing it once, I nodded my head at him.


    "Ayush, you stay out of this." This time the person who said this was Sameer.


    I slightly shifted in Eshan''s arms. The sight of five people standing before me startled me. Three of them were known faces as I had seen them often in this very own house- Sameer, Barun, and Sahil. While the person in the wheelchair was someone I recently encountered. His appearance at my home shocked me. My body unconsciously stiffened at the sight of the man who had kidnapped me.


    The memory of those men hitting Eshan.


    Visual of that dark room.


    Those ten hours spent tied on the chair, alone, helpless, scared.


    The violence transpired before my eyes and the man who did that.


    Everything was playing before my eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Getting strength from Eshan''s assurance, I held his hand. Squeezing it once, I nodded my head at him.


    "Ayush, you stay out of this." This time the person who said this was Sameer.


    I slightly shifted in Eshan''s arms. The sight of five people standing before me startled me. Three of them were known faces as I had seen them often in this very own house- Sameer, Barun, and Sahil. While the person in the wheelchair was someone I recently encountered. His appearance at my home shocked me. My body unconsciously stiffened at the sight of the man who had kidnapped me.


    The memory of those men hitting Eshan.


    Visual of that dark room.


    Those ten hours spent tied on the chair, alone, helpless, scared.


    The violence transpired before my eyes and the man who did that.


    Everything was playing before my eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Getting strength from Eshan''s assurance, I held his hand. Squeezing it once, I nodded my head at him.


    "Ayush, you stay out of this." This time the person who said this was Sameer.


    I slightly shifted in Eshan''s arms. The sight of five people standing before me startled me. Three of them were known faces as I had seen them often in this very own house- Sameer, Barun, and Sahil. While the person in the wheelchair was someone I recently encountered. His appearance at my home shocked me. My body unconsciously stiffened at the sight of the man who had kidnapped me.


    The memory of those men hitting Eshan.


    Visual of that dark room.


    Those ten hours spent tied on the chair, alone, helpless, scared.


    The violence transpired before my eyes and the man who did that.


    Everything was playing before my eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Getting strength from Eshan''s assurance, I held his hand. Squeezing it once, I nodded my head at him.


    "Ayush, you stay out of this." This time the person who said this was Sameer.


    I slightly shifted in Eshan''s arms. The sight of five people standing before me startled me. Three of them were known faces as I had seen them often in this very own house- Sameer, Barun, and Sahil. While the person in the wheelchair was someone I recently encountered. His appearance at my home shocked me. My body unconsciously stiffened at the sight of the man who had kidnapped me.


    |Innaya|


    Getting strength from Eshan''s assurance, I held his hand. Squeezing it once, I nodded my head at him.


    "Ayush, you stay out of this." This time the person who said this was Sameer.


    I slightly shifted in Eshan''s arms. The sight of five people standing before me startled me. Three of them were known faces as I had seen them often in this very own house- Sameer,


    Those ten hours spent tied on the chair, alone, helpless, scared.


    The violence transpired before my eyes and the man who did that.


    Everything was playing before my eyes.


    The memory of those men hitting Eshan.


    Visual of that dark room.


    Those ten hours spent tied on the chair, alone, helpless, scared.


    The violence transpired before my eyes and the man who did that.


    Everything was playing before my eyes.


    |Innaya|


    Getting strength from Eshan''s assurance, I held his hand. Squeezing it once, I nodded my head at him.


    "Ayush, you stay out of this." This time the person who said this was Sameer.


    I slightly shifted in Eshan''s arms. The sight of five people standing before me startled me. Three of them were known faces as I had seen them often in this very own house- Sameer, Barun, and Sahil. While the person in the wheelchair was someone I recently encountered. His appearance at my home shocked me. My body unconsciously stiffened at the sight of the man who had kidnapped me.


    The memory of those men hitting Eshan.


    Visual of that dark room.


    Those ten hours spent tied on the chair, alone, helpless, scared.


    The violence transpired before my eyes and the man who did that.


    Everything was playing before my eyes.

 Chapter 108 - Truth Behind The Kidnapping (2)

    |Innaya|


    "Ma''am, I''m really sorry. It was my fault. I misunderstood and acted on my own. I''m extremely sorry for scaring you," Mark apologized as he stepped forward.


    I refused to believe in those words. Misunderstanding? Sorry? He might think he could get away with a simple sorry, but I did not share his thoughts. His act of kidnapping was not a misunderstanding. It was a crime. He should have been punished for it.


    "Mark. Stay out of this." That guy in black waved his good arm because his left hand was bandaged. "Innaya¡ª"


    "Don''t you dare talk to her," Eshan roared as he interrupted that guy.


    "Innaya. Look, I know I f***** up. And, I''m sorry for it. The way things happened, they shouldn''t have happened. My intentions weren''t bad. I just wanted to meet the woman who stole away Eshan''s heart. I just did not think that things would escalate to this point," that guy spoke irrespective of Eshan''s warning.


    Did he say he just wanted to meet me? Was that what he called the meeting? Kidnapping someone on gunpoint was that what he said was the meeting? I could no longer believe the words out of his mouth.


    "Wait. How is he related to you?" I asked Eshan who looked ready to pounce on that guy. His fierce gaze was locked on him as if he would devour him. After listening to my question, he turned his head at me.


    "He''s Karan, Sahil''s cousin," Eshan answered as he tried to hold my hand.


    |Innaya|


    "Ma''am, I''m really sorry. It was my fault. I misunderstood and acted on my own. I''m extremely sorry for scaring you," Mark apologized as he stepped forward.


    I refused to believe in those words. Misunderstanding? Sorry? He might think he could get away with a simple sorry, but I did not share his thoughts. His act of kidnapping was not a misunderstanding. It was a crime. He should have been punished for it.


    "Mark. Stay out of this." That guy in black waved his good arm because his left hand was bandaged. "Innaya¡ª"


    "Don''t you dare talk to her," Eshan roared as he interrupted that guy.


    "Innaya. Look, I know I f***** up. And, I''m sorry for it. The way things happened, they shouldn''t have happened. My intentions weren''t bad. I just wanted to meet the woman who stole away Eshan''s heart. I just did not think that things would escalate to this point," that guy spoke irrespective of Eshan''s warning.


    Did he say he just wanted to meet me? Was that what he called the meeting? Kidnapping someone on gunpoint was that what he said was the meeting? I could no longer believe the words out of his mouth.


    "Wait. How is he related to you?" I asked Eshan who looked ready to pounce on that guy. His fierce gaze was locked on him as if he would devour him. After listening to my question, he turned his head at me.


    "He''s Karan, Sahil''s cousin," Eshan answered as he tried to hold my hand.


    |Innaya|


    "Ma''am, I''m really sorry. It was my fault. I misunderstood and acted on my own. I''m extremely sorry for scaring you," Mark apologized as he stepped forward.


    I refused to believe in those words. Misunderstanding? Sorry? He might think he could get away with a simple sorry, but I did not share his thoughts. His act of kidnapping was not a misunderstanding. It was a crime. He should have been punished for it.


    "Mark. Stay out of this." That guy in black waved his good arm because his left hand was bandaged. "Innaya¡ª"


    "Don''t you dare talk to her," Eshan roared as he interrupted that guy.


    "Innaya. Look, I know I f***** up. And, I''m sorry for it. The way things happened, they shouldn''t have happened. My intentions weren''t bad. I just wanted to meet the woman who stole away Eshan''s heart. I just did not think that things would escalate to this point," that guy spoke irrespective of Eshan''s warning.


    Did he say he just wanted to meet me? Was that what he called the meeting? Kidnapping someone on gunpoint was that what he said was the meeting? I could no longer believe the words out of his mouth.


    "Wait. How is he related to you?" I asked Eshan who looked ready to pounce on that guy. His fierce gaze was locked on him as if he would devour him. After listening to my question, he turned his head at me.


    "He''s Karan, Sahil''s cousin," Eshan answered as he tried to hold my hand.


    |Innaya|


    "Ma''am, I''m really sorry. It was my fault. I misunderstood and acted on my own. I''m extremely sorry for scaring you," Mark apologized as he stepped forward.


    I refused to believe in those words. Misunderstanding? Sorry? He might think he could get away with a simple sorry, but I did not share his thoughts. His act of kidnapping was not a misunderstanding. It was a crime. He should have been punished for it.


    "Mark. Stay out of this." That guy in black waved his good arm because his left hand was bandaged. "Innaya¡ª"


    "Don''t you dare talk to her," Eshan roared as he interrupted that guy.


    "Innaya. Look, I know I f***** up. And, I''m sorry for it. The way things happened, they shouldn''t have happened. My intentions weren''t bad. I just wanted to meet the woman who stole away Eshan''s heart. I just did not think that things would escalate to this point," that guy spoke irrespective of Eshan''s warning.


    Did he say he just wanted to meet me? Was that what he called the meeting? Kidnapping someone on gunpoint was that what he said was the meeting? I could no longer believe the words out of his mouth.


    "Wait. How is he related to you?" I asked Eshan who looked ready to pounce on that guy. His fierce gaze was locked on him as if he would devour him. After listening to my question, he turned his head at me.


    "He''s Karan, Sahil''s cousin," Eshan answered as he tried to hold my hand.


    |Innaya|


    "Ma''am, I''m really sorry. It was my fault. I misunderstood and acted on my own. I''m extremely sorry for scaring you," Mark apologized as he stepped forward.


    I refused to believe in those words. Misunderstanding? Sorry? He might think he could get away with a simple s

 Chapter 109 - He Calls Me His

    |Innaya|


    I could no longer feel anything as my body grew numb. I wanted to say so many things to him, yet looking at his fallen face, I no longer felt like wasting my breath on him. Ignoring his mere presence from now onwards was the best choice. Because one can commit a mistake once, twice but not every single time. He, for every single time, became the reason for my tears and fears. I could not feel safe in his presence anymore.


    I watched as Karan pushed his wheelchair forward with one hand. His eyes never left mine. His action startled me and as I stepped back, I nearly tripped when my feet got tangled in the carpet.


    "Careful."


    "Careful."


    Two voices rang out and at the same time, two people rushed forward to help me. Arjun held me by my shoulders while Eshan''s arm was wrapped around my waist. Suddenly I did not feel lost anymore. With these two most important men of my life protectively holding me, I felt an ache in my heart subsiding.


    I almost leaned on Eshan but held back at the last moment recalling his swollen legs. " Quickly sit down. Why did you stand up? I''m fine." I got out of their holds as I held Eshan''s hands and helped him sit.


    Eshan obliged silently. Once he sat down, he tugged at my hand and made me occupy my earlier position beside him. When his hands raised and he brought them to my face I looked at him. His palms cupped my face and he rubbed his thumbs over my cheek and beneath my eyes. I realized that I had started crying at some point at the time.


    The anger caused me to feel vulnerable as the memories not only resulted in the present but past also resurfaced in my mind.


    "Hush... Stop crying, love. They don''t deserve your tears," Eshan whispered as he helplessly looked at me. I could only nod in response.


    "Sahil is not the one to be blamed. You will have to say it to me. I did not want to kidnap you. I just wanted to talk to you... alone. My men screwed up. I''ll apologize in their stead, Innu," Karan''s voice made me pull out from Eshan''s hold and turn towards him.


    If he wanted to chat with me and thus he abducted me, then that was the lamest reason anyone could even give.


    "Don''t call her that," Eshan snapped at him.


    "I thought we could reminiscence our time in childhood. Did you forget this friend of yours? Initially, that kidnapping was planned because I wanted to teach you a little lesson for leaving me without any prior notice. But I did not think my people will take it seriously and convert into real one," he continued despite after being told off.


    Like a lightning bolt coming out of nowhere and struck me head-on, his words jolted me.


    I did not recall any Karan from my childhood. What gibberish was he talking about? I failed to understand. As far as I remember, I did not have a close friend until I turned 13. Before that, I could barely remember external matters like friends and stuff because of overbearing household matters.


    "You''re lying. I don''t know you. No... You''re lying..." I mumbled unable to believe what was coming out of his mouth.


    "I think it''s enough. Leave all of you," Arjun sternly replied.


    "Arjun." A couple of voices of protests rang out.


    "I''m not lying. How could you not remember me? You remembered Eshan and married him, then how could you forget me? Why? Did I do something wrong? Did I upset you? Oh, I know now. It''s because I abducted you right? I''m sorry but don''t do this to me. Please, Innu..."


    I scrambled out of Karan''s hold. How did he get so close to me?


    His words were lost on me as I only focused on his distressed figure trying to hold me. Arjun was quick to hold the wheelchair back as Karan attempted to get close. I failed to understand the sudden change in his demeanor.


    "I don''t know you. I don''t know you." Like a broken record, I kept repeating those words as Eshan hugged me tightly. My eyes refused to part away with Karan''s agonized ones. Tears were brimming in his eyes.


    "Are you satisfied now? In childhood, you snatched her away from me and now also you have done the same. What kind of brainwashing you did to her? Huh? Give back my Innu to me. Did you hear, GIVE HER BACK TO ME.." His loud voice directed at Eshan almost made me hump out of the skin.


    I held on to Eshan more tightly. What was happening? I had lost sense of what was going around us anymore. I did not understand Karan''s words nor his desperation.


    "Karan, calm down." Sahil limped forward as he stood before Karan. His tall frame blocked Karan''s figure from my view.


    "Sahil, where''s his medication?" Sameer asked him as he also tried to hold Karan as he struggled to get out of the wheelchair.


    My eyes widened when I heard his next words.


    "I''m not mad. I don''t need those pills. I just need my Innu. Till this day I thought I would find her and she will be the only mine. Who knew this time too, you will be fast and snatch her away. Why? Why are you against my happiness? Why do you snatch the people I like? Huh?"


    What Karan spoke was something beyond my understanding. However, I realized that things were not right with him. If they mentioned something about pills then it had to be a psychological issue.


    There were many illnesses linked to mental health but people used only one word to describe that. -mad. It was not the right thing because not every mentally ill person is mad.


    I understood this well because some people out there think in this manner. I had closely observed it over the years. PTSD was not widely known in India back then. People are still unaware of it. If someone suffered a panic attack before them then they would search for external people instead of doctors or ignore the patients assuming them to have lost their mental balance.


    That was bad. No one cares to understand the mentality of the patient worsening his condition. I could connect with Karan on that.


    I stood up as if in a trance. This time I did not remember what Karan did to me or his words. All I could so before my eyes was a patient who needed help. I had worked with NGO''s in the past. I had volunteered to work at orphanages, old age centers and once at an asylum. So, I had an idea of how to handle such a situation.

 Chapter 110 - Keeping Things Aside

    |Innaya|


    The human mind is strange, and the human heart is even weirder. It works in ways beyond the understanding of anyone. At the current moment, my mind wanted me to move forward and help the man who was struggling against the hold of three people. His struggles were heart-wrenching as tears streamed down his face, and his pale face turned red. It seemed he was getting breathless or I


    wondered if he forgot to breathe.


    The flickering emotions and slowly deteriorating condition of his were too familiar. I might not react with so much anger, but I knew the signs of approaching panic attacks. He needed immediate attention, he needed to restrain his emotions, and he needed someone''s comforting words. He needed strength. I could see my reflection in him. As if I was watching myself struggling there.


    Karan''s watery eyes gazed at me with helplessness. As if he wanted to hold me to never let go as if I was his last hope. I did not care if I knew him or not. I did not care whether he had lied to me or not. I just wanted him to feel better. I wanted to feel better.


    Just as I lifted my foot to approach Karan, I felt my wrist being held and tugged. Shifting my eyes from Karan, I glanced down at my wrist where long, pale fingers were curled around. I traced the hand to his owner.


    Eshan''s worried face greeted me. He moved in his place as he again tugged at my hand. His wary eyes concernedly watched me


    "Where are you going? Stay here. He''ll be fine," Eshan assured me, but it sounded more like he was assuring himself.


    "He needs help." I pointed my shaky finger at the person in the wheelchair behind me.


    "Sahil will handle. He knows what to do," Eshan replied as he fervently pulled at my hand. It was as if he was afraid. I frowned at the growing anxiety on his face.


    I could feel his palm sweating against my skin. Recalling Karan''s word I realized he had directed his anger at Eshan... He said Eshan had snatched me away in childhood... But I had never seen Eshan until the day he came to ask my hand in marriage. Then how could Karan''s argument be justified? How would the man I never knew snatch me?


    Those thoughts broke the trance I was in. I could not just go ahead and help Karan because I felt empathy towards him. No, I could not, and rightfully I should not. I did not know what was wrong with him? I did not know how would he react? I did not know if my intervening would cause him to suffer more. I did not know anything, then how could I just approach him? It was a wrong step on my part.


    The single mistake could have caused more harm than benefit.


    When I glanced back, turning my eyes away from Eshan''s worried face, the place before me was empty. There was no one. I averted my eyes to the main door and I caught the sight of all the guys leaving. They left... Just like that? I failed to catch a glimpse of Karan. I did not know how he was or how his friends handled the situation.


    I kept staring at the way they left. There was that nagging feeling exploding inside my heart. It wanted me to take a look at Karan''s condition. However, the logical part of my brain warned me to not do something I was not sure about.


    I exhaled loudly at the bizarre situation. I plopped beside Eshan on the sofa taking my head in my hands. Taking in everything that happened so far seemed taking a toll on me. I felt as if my whole energy was drained. My head felt heavy, and my eyes were stinging.


    |Innaya|


    The human mind is strange, and the human heart is even weirder. It works in ways beyond the understanding of anyone. At the current moment, my mind wanted me to move forward and help the man who was struggling against the hold of three people. His struggles were heart-wrenching as tears streamed down his face, and his pale face turned red. It seemed he was getting breathless or I


    wondered if he forgot to breathe.


    The flickering emotions and slowly deteriorating condition of his were too familiar. I might not react with so much anger, but I knew the signs of approaching panic attacks. He needed immediate attention, he needed to restrain his emotions, and he needed someone''s comforting words. He needed strength. I could see my reflection in him. As if I was watching myself struggling there.


    Karan''s watery eyes gazed at me with helplessness. As if he wanted to hold me to never let go as if I was his last hope. I did not care if I knew him or not. I did not care whether he had lied to me or not. I just wanted him to feel better. I wanted to feel better.


    Just as I lifted my foot to approach Karan, I felt my wrist being held and tugged. Shifting my eyes from Karan, I glanced down at my wrist where long, pale fingers were curled around. I traced the hand to his owner.


    Eshan''s worried face greeted me. He moved in his place as he again tugged at my hand. His wary eyes concernedly watched me


    "Where are you going? Stay here. He''ll be fine," Eshan assured me, but it sounded more like he was assuring himself.


    "He needs help." I pointed my shaky finger at the person in the wheelchair behind me.


    "Sahil will handle. He knows what to do," Eshan replied as he fervently pulled at my hand. It was as if he was afraid. I frowned at the growing anxiety on his face.


    I could feel his palm sweating against my skin. Recalling Karan''s word I realized he had directed his anger at Eshan... He said Eshan had snatched me away in childhood... But I had never seen Eshan until the day he came to ask my hand in marriage. Then how could Karan''s argument be justified? How would the man I never knew snatch me?


    Those thoughts broke the trance I was in. I could not just go ahead and help Karan because I felt empathy towards him. No, I could not, and rightfully I should not. I did not know what was wrong with him? I did not know how would he react? I did not know if my intervening would cause him to suffer more. I did not know anything, then how could I just approach him? It was a wrong step on my part.


    The single mistake could have caused more harm than benefit.


    When I glanced back, turning my eyes away from Eshan''s worried face, the place before me was empty. There was no one. I averted my eyes to the main door and I caught the sight of all the guys leaving. They left... Just like that? I failed to catch a glimpse of Karan. I did not know how he was or how his friends handled the situation.


    I kept staring at the way they left. There was that nagging feeling exploding inside my heart. It wanted me to take a look at Karan''s condition. However, the logical part of my brain warned me to not do something I was not sure about.


    I exhaled loudly at the bizarre situation. I plopped beside Eshan on the sofa taking my head in my hands. Taking in everything that happened so far seemed taking a toll on me. I felt as if my whole energy was drained. My head felt heavy, and my eyes were stinging.

 Chapter 111 - Stop Me If You Want

    |Innaya|


    Perhaps, my mind could not forget about the recent events in my life. All I could see in my dreams were faces of people. The faces which were not clear but something about them felt awfully familiar. Then I saw myself tied on that chair. I knew it was no dream but the reality of a few hours ago. Then the scene in my dream shifted to that of the violent beating Karan imparted on Mark. I flinched as I thought of how powerfully he kicked Mark. Everything again went blank. This time what I saw behind my closed eyelids was the scene of Karan struggling and begging me to not go.


    It was that moment when my eyes flew open. Dazed, I looked around. My eyes failed to register my surroundings.


    Where was I? My pillow felt different and my body was aching. I blinked a couple of times to chase sleep out of my eyes.


    There was a weight on my stomach. I reached out to feel what it was as I stretched my legs. It was a strong, sturdy hand lying on my stomach. I moved on my back, and it was then that my eyes fell on the face of my husband. He was at the moment looking down at me. My eyes widened and my lips slightly parted.


    Then everything came rushing back, including how I had thrown


    myself on him.


    "Did you sleep well?" Eshan caressed my cheek with his finger.


    His little action and those eyes full of adoration staring down at me made something flutter in my heart.


    "How long I have been sleeping?" I asked him after nodding at him. Truthfully, I had not slept well for I had disturbed and restless sleep which caused me to feel more tired than before. It would be no wonder if there were dark circles underneath my eyes.


    Eshan shook his head as if he caught on my lie. "Sweetheart, don''t lie. I know you did not sleep well."


    I did not want him to worry about me. In the end, his friends were involved in this mess. So, how could I bear to hurt him? Actions of his buddies were already hurtful- physically and emotionally. I knew how tormenting it was for him. So, I wanted to lie and tell him that I was fine, I slept well.


    |Innaya|


    Perhaps, my mind could not forget about the recent events in my life. All I could see in my dreams were faces of people. The faces which were not clear but something about them felt awfully familiar. Then I saw myself tied on that chair. I knew it was no dream but the reality of a few hours ago. Then the scene in my dream shifted to that of the violent beating Karan imparted on Mark. I flinched as I thought of how powerfully he kicked Mark. Everything again went blank. This time what I saw behind my closed eyelids was the scene of Karan struggling and begging me to not go.


    It was that moment when my eyes flew open. Dazed, I looked around. My eyes failed to register my surroundings.


    Where was I? My pillow felt different and my body was aching. I blinked a couple of times to chase sleep out of my eyes.


    There was a weight on my stomach. I reached out to feel what it was as I stretched my legs. It was a strong, sturdy hand lying on my stomach. I moved on my back, and it was then that my eyes fell on the face of my husband. He was at the moment looking down at me. My eyes widened and my lips slightly parted.


    Then everything came rushing back, including how I had thrown


    myself on him.


    "Did you sleep well?" Eshan caressed my cheek with his finger.


    His little action and those eyes full of adoration staring down at me made something flutter in my heart.


    "How long I have been sleeping?" I asked him after nodding at him. Truthfully, I had not slept well for I had disturbed and restless sleep which caused me to feel more tired than before. It would be no wonder if there were dark circles underneath my eyes.


    Eshan shook his head as if he caught on my lie. "Sweetheart, don''t lie. I know you did not sleep well."


    I did not want him to worry about me. In the end, his friends were involved in this mess. So, how could I bear to hurt him? Actions of his buddies were already hurtful- physically and emotionally. I knew how tormenting it was for him. So, I wanted to lie and tell him that I was fine, I slept well.


    |Innaya|


    Perhaps, my mind could not forget about the recent events in my life. All I could see in my dreams were faces of people. The faces which were not clear but something about them felt awfully familiar. Then I saw myself tied on that chair. I knew it was no dream but the reality of a few hours ago. Then the scene in my dream shifted to that of the violent beating Karan imparted on Mark. I flinched as I thought of how powerfully he kicked Mark. Everything again went blank. This time what I saw behind my closed eyelids was the scene of Karan struggling and begging me to not go.


    It was that moment when my eyes flew open. Dazed, I looked around. My eyes failed to register my surroundings.


    Where was I? My pillow felt different and my body was aching. I blinked a couple of times to chase sleep out of my eyes.


    There was a weight on my stomach. I reached out to feel what it was as I stretched my legs. It was a strong, sturdy hand lying on my stomach. I moved on my back, and it was then that my eyes fell on the face of my husband. He was at the moment looking down at me. My eyes widened and my lips slightly parted.


    Then everything came rushing back, including how I had thrown


    myself on him.


    "Did you sleep well?" Eshan caressed my cheek with his finger.


    His little action and those eyes full of adoration staring down at me made something flutter in my heart.


    "How long I have been sleeping?" I asked him after nodding at him. Truthfully, I had not slept well for I had disturbed and restless sleep which caused me to feel more tired than before. It would be no wonder if there were dark circles underneath my eyes.


    Eshan shook his head as if he caught on my lie. "Sweetheart, don''t lie. I know you did not sleep well."


    I did not want him to worry about me. In the end, his friends were involved in this mess. So, how could I bear to hurt him? Actions of his buddies were already hurtful- physically and emotionally. I knew how tormenting it was for him. So, I wanted to lie and tell him that I was fine, I slept well.

 Chapter 112 - I Was Eight When... (1)

    |Innaya|


    ''Time has the power of healing everything.''


    I chuckled silently as I read that line. Personally, I never believed it- until now. I always believed, the wounds we carry fade away with time, but they do leave scars behind, and if probed further when they were raw they could turn infectious- emotional and physical both.


    However, given the events of the past two weeks, I had started believing it. Who knew how much of emotional and soft-hearted Eshan Sighaniya would turn out? In his guilt and insecurity, he behaved the way he did. Didn''t I behave the same?


    Thankfully, he did not withdraw from me emotionally or physically. We were back to being normal. He was just like Eshan before those incidents. Maybe, it was a new version of him, the one which did not spare any opportunity to show his affection, openly. Sometimes, I was rendered speechless by the love he showered on me. Eshan did not rush me though, he had his own way of doing things, and he knew when to stop. I often wondered about how he did that.


    He might not know about my trauma, yet he did everything so that I could cope up naturally with my panic attacks, not that I had any after that apart from the nightmares which were an altogether different story. His legs recovered too, even if had any pains he hid it pretty well from me. His friends also seemed to have disappeared on us, not that I was complaining, but it was a good thing. Almost five days had passed after that kidnapping fiasco. Things were slowly returning to normal.


    ***


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    |Innaya|


    ''Time has the power of healing everything.''


    I chuckled silently as I read that line. Personally, I never believed it- until now. I always believed, the wounds we carry fade away with time, but they do leave scars behind, and if probed further when they were raw they could turn infectious- emotional and physical both.


    However, given the events of the past two weeks, I had started believing it. Who knew how much of emotional and soft-hearted Eshan Sighaniya would turn out? In his guilt and insecurity, he behaved the way he did. Didn''t I behave the same?


    Thankfully, he did not withdraw from me emotionally or physically. We were back to being normal. He was just like Eshan before those incidents. Maybe, it was a new version of him, the one which did not spare any opportunity to show his affection, openly. Sometimes, I was rendered speechless by the love he showered on me. Eshan did not rush me though, he had his own way of doing things, and he knew when to stop. I often wondered about how he did that.


    He might not know about my trauma, yet he did everything so that I could cope up naturally with my panic attacks, not that I had any after that apart from the nightmares which were an altogether different story. His legs recovered too, even if had any pains he hid it pretty well from me. His friends also seemed to have disappeared on us, not that I was complaining, but it was a good thing. Almost five days had passed after that kidnapping fiasco. Things were slowly returning to normal.


    ***


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    |Innaya|


    ''Time has the power of healing everything.''


    I chuckled silently as I read that line. Personally, I never believed it- until now. I always believed, the wounds we carry fade away with time, but they do leave scars behind, and if probed further when they were raw they could turn infectious- emotional and physical both.


    However, given the events of the past two weeks, I had started believing it. Who knew how much of emotional and soft-hearted Eshan Sighaniya would turn out? In his guilt and inse


    ***


    If you aren''t reading this at W e b n o v e l .com, then the content you''re reading is stolen! Please support the author at [https://m.webnovel.com/book/13985109706862805 ]''


    |Innaya|


    ''Time has the power of healing everything.''


    I chuckled silently as I read that line. Personally, I never believed it- until now. I always believed, the wounds we carry fade away with time, but they do leave scars behind, and if probed further when they were raw they could turn infectious- emotional and physical both.


    However, given the events of the past two weeks, I had started believing it. Who knew how much of emotional and soft-hearted Eshan Sighaniya would turn out? In his guilt and insecurity, he behaved the way he did. Didn''t I behave the same?


    Thankfully, he did not withdraw from me emotionally or physically. We were back to being normal. He was just like Eshan before those incidents. Maybe, it was a new version of him, the one which did not spare any opportunity to show his affection, openly. Sometimes, I was rendered speechless by the love he showered on me. Eshan did not rush me though, he had his own way of doing things, and he knew when to stop. I often wondered about how he did that.


    He might not know about my trauma, yet he did everything so that I could cope up naturally with my panic attacks, not that I had any after that apart from the nightmares which were an altogether different story. His legs recovered too, even if had any pains he hid it pretty well from me. His friends also seemed to have disappeared on us, not that I was complaining, but it was a good thing. Almost five days had passed after that kidnapping fiasco. Things were slowly returning to normal.


    ***


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 Chapter 113 - I Was Eight When... (2)

    ||Innaya||


    "Hold me, please," I whispered, but I knew Eshan would hear and he did. He shifted me little in his arms, and instead of my back to him, I was facing him sideways. I tucked my head under his chin and wrapped myself around him. I needed this closeness.


    Otherwise, I would have shied away, but this time it was the solace I was seeking for willingly.


    For a minute, I just listened to the beating of Eshan''s heart. Focussing on the sound of his heartbeat, I tuned out other voices in my head.


    "My mother had eloped with my¨C" I stopped as I could not bring myself to associate that man with any relationship. I continued after a brief pause, "They got married. He was not rich. He belonged to the middle-class family, and his parents had passed away in a car accident before I was born. Grandpa never approved him for Mom, but after I was born, he accepted us. Everything was good; we were living in an apartment in Dubai. We were happy or so was what I thought..."


    A small smile tugged at my lips as those happy days started resurfacing. At that time too, I was closer to my Grandpa than to anyone else. The smile was wiped out of my face the moment I recalled the time when everything started falling apart.


    Perhaps Eshan sensed my distress because he rubbed my forearm and dropped a fleeting kiss on my hair. He gave me time to gather myself. He did not probe either he stopped me, he just sat with me.


    I resumed revealing in the details I could remember, "When I was eight, Grandma fell ill. Mom had to leave for Bangalore. She couldn''t take me with her, and I do not remember why. Everything changed that night. I was waiting for d- him to come home, I had made some painting, and I wanted to show that to him."


    An involuntary shudder ran through my mind as I continued, "He came. He had brought that woman with him. Accidently I had knocked down the glass while bringing him water. That night he- slapped me saying- I was..." Tears gathered in my eyes, and I could not help, but sob in Eshan''s chest. It was the first time I saw someone getting angry, raising a voice let alone a hand on me.


    ''You careless brat.''


    ''Don''t you dare to shed those crocodile tears, you pathetic excuse for a human being.''


    ''GET THE HELL OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU ¨C''


    I could not bring myself to tell those words to Eshan, they would not get out of the mouth as if they were stuck there. That day something broke within me as a child, and that continued breaking until I was shattered into the innumerable pieces. Other vile taunts rammed into my memory that almost had me shuddering. I trembled as even after all those years his words still affected me.


    No matter how hard I had tried, those words were a constant reminder of that horrible time. I wished that no child ever had to go through the phase where your family hurts you.


    Eshan''s fingers running through my hair, gently massaging my scalp helped me to blink back my tears. I sagged against his chest and focussed on his heartbeat, it somehow was soothing my bruised self. For reliving that agonizing period, I needed every ounce of security he could provide.


    "After that, it became routine. He would yell at me for small things. Sometimes for nothing and that woman¡ª she also joined him. Mom was on and off to Bangalore. He assured her that. I was well taken care of and the woman... another woman he brought was caretaker for me. For almost half a year they slowly tortured me... broke me with their words. I was so scared." I closed my eyes as I tried to suppress my sob. I still could not forget that fear. I needed to hold it in together till I told him everything.


    "They wouldn''t give me food, would lock me in the dark room. Once, that woman locked me up on the terrace. Outside in the rain. The whole night I cried calling for mom, but she never came." I broke into another sob, and this time my whole body shook with the force. I did not want to cry. I wanted to stay strong. So many years had passed. I thought it would not hurt that much. It seemed


    I was wrong in thinking that. It still affected me, and in the worst way possible.


    "How dare you eat this?"


    "Don''t have any manners."


    "You shouldn''t have come in this world. You are a bad omen."


    "Dare you, speak a single word."


    "This is your punishment. You will stay locked up in the storeroom until you learn your lesson."


    "You will eat this or stay hungry for all I care."


    "You ungrateful brat, you won''t get any food."


    "You ugly girl, go and stay in your room."


    I cried recalling horrors of that year, horrors of their words. I had never felt so scared until then, the whole night the thunder had kept striking, cold wind had nipped my skin, and I had lost myself in the darkness crying for my mother.


    I had blamed my mother for leaving me alone.


    I had blamed her for not looking after me.


    I had blamed her for believing his words.


    I had blamed her for marrying him.


    I had blamed Grandpa for falling ill.


    I had blamed him for not coming to meet me.


    I had blamed myself for being his daughter.


    I had blamed myself for being so pathetic.


    I clutched the neckline of his blue T-shirt and hid in the confines of his arms. I blocked my ears with my hand as it became unbearable for me. That was one of the worst nights of my life. What kind of inhumane heart that woman must have possessed to lock the child outside, without food or shelter?


    ***


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    *

 Chapter 114 - I Was Eight When... (3)

    |Innaya|


    At first, Eshan held me silently as he rubbed my back. Locked in his arms, I slowly composed myself. My sobs turned to hiccups as I tried to shove away those words. Eshan sighed above my head. His hands held my hands on my ears and he removed them.


    Eshan tipped my head back until I was looking into his eyes through my glossy vision. He wiped my tears and pressed his lips on my eyes one by one, his hand cupping my face as he shook his head in negative.


    "Don''t beat yourself over it. You don''t have to relive those memories if they are hurting you so much. I know you need to get it out of your system but promise me, you won''t blame yourself for anything."


    I could not help but just stare at his face, absorbing his every word. The pain in his eyes was unmistakable along with pure selfless love and adoration. Until now, he had not uttered a word giving me free reigns to continue without any interruption. He broke his silence when he saw how it was affecting me, how recalling that phase pained me.


    "You are not at fault and do not degrade or judge yourself through his eyes." However, the anger swirling in his eyes, as he said those words were quite palpable, and if I was not wrong, he was itching to take it out on the person responsible for everything if possible.


    "One day I was hungry, so I entered the kitchen and took food when I wasn''t supposed to. I was to be in my room, but I was starving. She had a golden retriever and to teach me the lesson for disobedience she thought letting her dog attack me would be good... That''s why I have a fear of dogs..." I confessed the whole truth behind my cynophobia that he had so badly wanted to know when I had suffered the panic attack after we arrived in Mumbai.


    At that time I had avoided stating the whole truth for the bond between us had not developed to that level. It had been barely a month, so how could I open my heart to him? I had not, and at that moment he thought I did not trust him. It was never about trust. It had more to do with my own fears and insecurities. Today, I could explain to him everything because so much has changed between us.


    "Stop Innaya. It''s enough for today," Eshan''s voice broke me out of the memory of that day. I even forgot to wipe my cheeks anymore. There were going to get drenched again as there was a lot to tell him, and I for sure knew that it was not possible without tears falling from my eyes.


    I lifted my eyes to see Eshan''s widened eyes. I could see the tears gathering in his eyes. Through his eyes, he pleaded me to stop. However, I could not.


    "No, please." I shook my head. I knew if I stopped now I would not be able to share it in the near future. It had taken me so many months to prepare myself for this day. "Hear me out. I don''t want to recall it again," I whispered, and I rushed to the last but worst memory of him- that man who ruined my life.


    Eshan kept rubbing my back. I hugged him. Breathing deeply in the woodsy smell of his perfume forcing myself not to dwell longer in that memory, and resumed from where I left. "It was one week before my ninth birthday... He attacked me... his own daughter... he wanted me dead... He had hurled me against the wall and few bare nails scraped my back... One, in particular, had cut through my right shoulder to half of my back. It needed stitches... He strangled me saying he was finally happy getting rid of me. I was the unwanted child and burden on him. I was the murderer..." I finally bared the skeletons of my past. I sobbed as I finally found the heavyweight lifting off my chest.


    Eshan stiffened and his heart was racing under my ear.


    That night still sent shudders through my spine. That night many fears had taken birth within me and over the years they only got stronger, leaving behind an only empty shell of me. It was the main reason that I hated going to the hospitals. The week-long stay in the hospital had left me terrorized because of the pain and mental trauma of my father''s deeds. I could not forget it no matter what.


    The doctor had warned me not to think of that night for my own sanity, and if I wanted to talk about it then I should never let my emotions trap me at that time. This was also the reason that other memories surfaced more and pained me. I had blurred remembrance of that evening. Over the period, I was under treatment the doctor had made sure that I came out of that trauma. It had not exactly happened but I had learned to cope up with it. My fears and I had learned to coexist.


    I cried for that nine-year-old self of me who suffered without any fault of hers.


    I cried for the time I spent fearing for them to return in my life.


    I cried for all the sleepless nights because of the nightmares of that year.


    I cried for all the time Grandpa held me and comforted me and I could no longer have his safe embrace again.


    I cried for my fate.


    I cried until there were no more tears to shed.


    I cried till there was nothing but emptiness in me.


    The water drops fell on my hands which were placed in my lap as Eshan held me to himself.


    ''Is it raining?'' I frowned.


    I raised my head and gasped as I found the familiar honey brown eyes filled with angry tears.


    He was crying.


    ***


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 Chapter 115 - Eshan Was Lighting Up My Insides With His Love

    | Innaya |


    Eshan''s tears pricked my heart more than my own. He had tears in his eyes listening to the torment I went through. I forgot about myself and wiped the tear that rolled down on his cheek. Eshan closed his eyes, trying to compose himself. If he behaved this way, then how was I meant to react? Perhaps it was not a good idea to dump everything on him.


    I gave him a sad smile, silently asking him to not pity me or feel sorry for me. There was nothing he could do about my past. It had happened, and no matter how much he or I wished, we could change nothing.


    I caressed his cheek as I waited for him to look at me. Eshan however, seemed to have different plans as he pulled me in his arms and held me tightly. His suddenness startled me. His grip around me also did not lose but firmed further and further. It firmed to the point that it started being uncomfortable. I could hardly breathe properly when my nose was pressed against Eshan''s chest. Eshan finally noticed my discomfort and loosened his hold.


    "Continue," Eshan said in a heavy tone once he got hold of his emotions.


    I shifted in his arms. Playing with the button of his shirt, I replied, "If not for Grandpa, I would have died that evening. It was the miracle, how he found me. He never told me anything about that evening apart from that man was mentally ill and he was never coming back. It was only him, I would acknowledge. I had undergone treatment for five years. Only after that, I was able to socialize with my family. I was never the socializing type. I would better stay in the comfort of my home rather than being with strangers." This time it was not hurting like before. I was able to continue without breaking into tears.


    ''You are a disappointment.''


    ''You brought bad luck in my life.''


    ''I gave you everything and you ruined my life.''


    "Those words still haunted me and no, they were not the only ones. A year- whole year trapped with those monsters, and that worst evening of my life had haunted me in the worst way anyone could imagine. It took me five years to finally let myself believe that they weren''t coming back. It took me seven years to finally be in the presence of my mother and have a normal conversation without running back into my room. It took me eleven years to acknowledge that I can have friends too, and Siya was there for me." I revealed and when I took Siya''s name, there was a tinge of guilt in my heart.


    I had cut off every contact with her from the last two and a half months. It was not her fault to look after me, but her continuous insistence regarding Eshan''s intentions had somewhere instigated my doubts. She was my only friend as long as I could remember.


    "Yet it took you just one meeting to agree for our marriage?"


    I craned my head to look at him. There was disbelief written all over Eshan''s face. I could understand it though. It was natural for him to feel that way. It was totally unexpected for me too. I had every intention of denying his alliance, but things took a different turn.


    His face suddenly turned hard and anxious as he asked, "Were you forced?"


    "Hmm... If you consider emotional talks, concern, as one- then maybe I was," I replied as seriously I could. His face fell, and his


    eyes turned sad and guilty.


    Eshan dislodged his hold, but before he could get up, and rushed out, I held him back, "Hey, I was kidding. Firstly, I was angry, infuriated to be exact when I was given the news that I had suitor coming to fix the already fixated alliance. However, while walking back I remembered Grandpa''s words. I decided to meet you and rest¡ª you know."I waved my hand in the air.


    "I agreed because Grandpa in his letter wrote and I quote, - He is a good boy and I trust him with your life. He would die before hurting you. He is not like that man and you know, I would never do something that has a remote possibility of giving you pain. Trust me and trust him and give him a chance." I answered him, removing all the self-doubt of his. I would not let him feel guilty for some nonexistent doubts.


    Eshan was contemplating my words, and I knew he was still unsure. I was also grateful that he had not talked about my past, or asked me anything. It was as if he understood my need for silence on that topic.


    "For Grandpa, I would give my life if asked. He asked me to marry you then why wouldn''t I?" I asked casually as if that question itself was absurd.


    "I trust him blindly, but my trust isn''t blind. He had earned it." I smiled and that seemed to put Eshan''s worry at ease for his face finally revealed a tiny smile.


    "You have earned it too," I confessed once again.


    His face mirrored his happiness, and his lips uplifted into that beautiful smile.


    Eshan lowered his head until his lips were nearly hovering over mine. Gone was every other emotion, and it was replaced with sheer softness as he gazed down at me. With eyes locked with mine, his lips descended on mine. I stilled for a moment, and before I could gather myself, he pulled back.


    Disappointment? Astonishment? Disbelief? I had no idea what I was feeling. Moreover, he did not give me a chance to ponder over that because he continued as if he did not just kiss me.


    "You are a beautiful, strong, and independent woman, and I love you for that," whispering those words, his lips found their way back again. This time he did not pull away, he stayed. His lips glided over mine- slowly, steadily as if taking their own sweet time to familiarize the unknown path. My eyes had long ago given up, and so did my mind. His one hand slipped on my back running leisurely, and other held my nape tilting my head slightly upwards.


    I unconsciously sighed with the whirlwind of emotions in my heart. I had never experienced this-this kind of... happiness, security, or maybe love.


    Submitting myself to him, I let him take control. I had no choice because my mind and heart both decided to take a back seat and my soul was willingly ready to take in whatever he was offering. I felt myself losing as his lips moved further, forward, and deeper. His kiss stole my breath, when he pulled away, but not before leaving a quick peck again, I was lost.


    "You understand?"


    Lost, I could only manage to nod my head. I had no idea what the question was or what he was saying for that matter. All I knew was Eshan kissed me, willingly. He kissed me slowly, sweetly taking his own sweet time, and he kissed me as a lover does to his beloved.


    Have you ever experienced how the first rain of the season feels against your bare skin as you stand under the darkened sky with your arms spread out? That feeling when you close your eyes and just enjoy the peacefulness engulfing you... Slowly... Gradually.


    As water, falls on your skin, as you face upwards, and the cool droplets sliding across your skin make you feel rejuvenated. I felt the same sensation when Eshan again scooped down for another kiss.


    As I looped my arms around Eshan''s neck, I failed to keep up with Eshan''s pace. The sun was slowly going away behind the horizon paving a path for the moon to emerge out. Under the darkening sky, Eshan was lighting up my insides with his love.


    * * *


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 Chapter 116 - Blushing Like My Bride

    | | Eshan | |


    There was that intense need of hunting down that bastard and hurting him for all the torture, he inflicted on the vulnerable child, his own child. I wanted to take out my anger on him, but I could not. If the person was not before me, how was I meant to confront him? My mind reeled back to the day when I came to know that her father had hurt her. In the hospital, Arjun had mentioned that.


    Innaya moved in her sleep that brought me back me out of my murderous thoughts. One look at the woman nestled in my arms, and I found my heart calming on its own. The anger evaporated as if her face acted as the chilled ice. Arjun was right when he had said that nothing but showering the unconditional love on her and giving her silent but full support would be a remedy for her wounds.


    Innaya was my priority, and I would be damn if I let my anger overpower the need of being with her, for her. Her head rested on my shoulder while her right hand was draped across my chest, and her left hand was wrapped around herself as she slept on her left side facing me.


    I turned my head slightly so that I could have a proper view of her. Even in sleep, she had those frown lines, and the emotional toll of the day was clearly reflected on her beautiful face.


    | | Eshan | |


    There was that intense need of hunting down that bastard and hurting him for all the torture, he inflicted on the vulnerable child, his own child. I wanted to take out my anger on him, but I could not. If the person was not before me, how was I meant to confront him? My mind reeled back to the day when I came to know that her father had hurt her. In the hospital, Arjun had mentioned that.


    Innaya moved in her sleep that brought me back me out of my murderous thoughts. One look at the woman nestled in my arms, and I found my heart calming on its own. The anger evaporated as if her face acted as the chilled ice. Arjun was right when he had said that nothing but showering the unconditional love on her and giving her silent but full support would be a remedy for her wounds.


    Innaya was my priority, and I would be damn if I let my anger overpower the need of being with her, for her. Her head rested on my shoulder while her right hand was draped across my chest, and her left hand was wrapped around herself as she slept on her left side facing me.


    I turned my head slightly so that I could have a proper view of her. Even in sleep, she had those frown lines, and the emotional toll of the day was clearly reflected on her beautiful face.


    | | Eshan | |


    There was that intense need of hunting down that bastard and hurting him for all the torture, he inflicted on the vulnerable child, his own child. I wanted to take out my anger on him, but I could not. If the person was not before me, how was I meant to confront him? My mind reeled back to the day when I came to know that her father had hurt her. In the hospital, Arjun had mentioned that.


    Innaya moved in her sleep that brought me back me out of my murderous thoughts. One look at the woman nestled in my arms, and I found my heart calming on its own. The anger evaporated as if her face acted as the chilled ice. Arjun was right when he had said that nothing but showering the unconditional love on her and giving her silent but full support would be a remedy for her wounds.


    Innaya was my priority, and I would be damn if I let my anger overpower the need of being with her, for her. Her head rested on my shoulder while her right hand was draped across my chest, and her left hand was wrapped around herself as she slept on her left side facing me.


    I turned my head slightly so that I could have a proper view of her. Even in sleep, she had those frown lines, and the emotional toll of the day was clearly reflected on her beautiful face.


    | | Eshan | |


    There was that intense need of hunting down that bastard and hurting him for all the torture, he inflicted on the vulnerable child, his own child. I wanted to take out my anger on him, but I could not. If the person was not before me, how was I meant to confront him? My mind reeled back to the day when I came to know that her father had hurt her. In the hospital, Arjun had mentioned that.


    Innaya moved in her sleep that brought me back me out of my murderous thoughts. One look at the woman nestled in my arms, and I found my heart calming on its own. The anger evaporated as if her face acted as the chilled ice. Arjun was right when he had said that nothing but showering the unconditional love on her and giving her silent but full support would be a remedy for her wounds.


    Innaya was my priority, and I would be damn if I let my anger overpower the need of being with her, for her. Her head rested on my shoulder while her right hand was draped across my chest, and her left hand was wrapped around herself as she slept on her left side facing me.


    I turned my head slightly so that I could have a proper view of her. Even in sleep, she had those frown lines, and the emotional toll of the day was clearly reflected on her beautiful face.


    | | Eshan | |


    There was that intense need of hunting down that bastard and hurting him for all the torture, he inflicted on the vulnerable child, his own child. I wanted to take out my anger on him, but I could not. If the person was not before me, how was I meant to confront him? My mind reeled back to the day when I came to know that her father had hurt her. In the hospital, Arjun had mentioned that.


    Innaya moved in her sleep that brought me back me out of my murderous thoughts. One look at the woman nestled in my arms, and I found my heart calming on its own. The anger evaporated as if her face acted as the chilled ice. Arjun was right when he had said that nothing but sho


    | | Eshan | |


    There was that intense need of hunting down that bastard and hurting him for all the torture, he inflicted on the vulnerable child, his own child. I wanted to take out my anger on him, but I could not. If the person was not before me, how was I meant to confront him? My mind reeled back to the day when I came to know that her father had hurt her. In the hospital, Arjun had mentioned that.


    Innaya moved in her sleep that brought me back me out of my murderous thoughts. One look at the woman nestled in my arms, and I found my heart calming on its own. The anger evaporated as if her face acted as the chilled ice. Arjun was right when he had said that nothing but showering the unconditional love on her and giving her silent but full support would be a remedy for her wounds.


    Innaya was my priority, and I would be damn if I let my anger overpower the need of being with her, for her. Her head rested on my shoulder while her right hand was draped across my chest, and her left hand was wrapped around herself as she slept on her left side facing me.


    I turned my head slightly so that I could have a proper view of her. Even in sleep, she had those frown lines, and the emotional toll of the day was clearly reflected on her beautiful face.

 Chapter 117 - I’m Content With Being Your Sister’s Husband.

    | | Innaya | |


    "I am taking my sister out," Arjun announced from the doorsteps. I giggled knowing what was coming next. Both of them were always quarreling like kids, and as a good silent spectator, I would enjoy their childish banter. As expected, they started with their routine of glares and sarcasm, and I just leaned against the dining table enjoying the show.


    "Excuse me? I have taken a day off for her," Eshan countered sharply as he glared at his friend.


    "So have I, and as I was saying early before you very rudely interrupted me." Arjun gave a reprimanding look to Eshan. He turned his gaze to me. "Are you free today?" he asked me completely ignoring Eshan.


    "No, we aren''t," Eshan replied instead as he flung his arm across my shoulders, and pulled me to his chest. Tips of my ears started turning red as Eshan showed his possessiveness.


    "Am I asking you?"


    "I am telling you."


    "I am not interested."


    "Bye Arjun."


    "Oh, finally the tiny winy brain of yours worked! Goodbye Eshan."


    I laughed internally as Eshan sulked grumpily. I have never seen this side of Eshan ever unless it was with Arjun. Always calm, composed, and, mature Eshan would turn into a different person, both of them would- into competing children, fighting for the attention. I scurried away out of Eshan''s arms and moved to Arjun''s side.


    Somehow, I was feeling like teasing Eshan and who was better than Arjun to side with. Eshan''s eyes narrowed when he caught on my playful smile


    "Hello, Innaya." Arjun, side hugged me and smiled warmly at me. His blue eyes shone with the mischievousness of wining the small banter. "So, can I steal you for some time?"


    Eshan huffed in annoyance when I glanced at him for his approval. He nodded slightly. "Yes," I answered smilingly. Asking for Eshan''s approval was not completely unnecessary because after yesterday''s events. There was that urge to have him around me. Maybe, it was because of the emotional ride I went through last evening, but I wanted him before my eyes. It might sound insane, but Eshan has become my stress buster.


    "Perfect."Arjun squeezed my shoulder, smiling brightly.


    "Now you mister, go and sort some food for us. I have something important to discuss with my sister." Arjun steered me away to the living room, ordering Eshan on his way. I glanced back at Eshan only to see him winking playfully at me. No matter how much they bickered at the end of the day, they both loved each other.


    *


    We walked back in the silence with Arjun humming some tune, which I did not understand. I wanted to ask him, which song it was, but then I scrapped that thought. He looked very peaceful, and I did not want to disturb him yet. I smiled once we took seats in the living room.


    "So, what''s so important matter?" I asked him when he finally stopped with his that oddly familiar tune.


    "Nothing, I just wanted to irritate your husband." Arjun raised his voice as he glanced back. "He has troubled me so much, you have no idea."


    I suppressed my giggles; it was not that good thing to laugh on my husband behind his back. Well, on second thought, it should be fine when I caught Eshan''s figure standing behind pillar eavesdropping on our conversation.


    "I heard that. Wait, you fool. I''ll show who irritates whom," Eshan yelled from inside as he strode towards us.


    This time, I laughed out loudly. Who knew Eshan would be silently listening to us, and on top of that, he got discovered too. I silently pitied him in my heart.


    "Who do you think you are? Trying to be James Bond? Dream on, you can''t be the one- ever," Arjun snorted.


    Eshan walked around the coffee table, and sat beside me, putting his hand across my shoulders. "I don''t want to be. I''m content with being your sister''s husband." Eshan dropped a kiss on my forehead as he gave a smug look to Arjun, he even wiggled his eyebrows. My jaw almost dropped to the floor with his comeback.


    "Acting smart, huh? Child, you are still not that capable-"


    "Okay, enough two of you," I intervened. Seemed like they could continue for the whole day if that happened then what I was to do? Watch them, with popcorns in my hands?


    "Just because you said so."


    "Just because you said so."


    Two voices rang out from my sides, and I was amazed at how coordinated they were.


    "Wow."


    "But, why is here? Didn''t I ask him to prepare something for me? I have not had my breakfast yet," Arjun complained, playfully glaring at Eshan.


    "The breakfast is already on the table, serve yourself," Eshan replied as he took my hand in his, purposefully acting all cozy before Arjun to rile him up.


    Arjun however, instead of getting up, shoved Eshan''s hands away and pulled me on my feet. Before I could realize what he was doing he had already pulled me out of the door. Eshan also followed behind, trying to understand Arjun''s behavior.


    "Hey listen, Arjun." Eshan caught up with us, and he tried to pull me to his side. "What are you doing? Give me my wife back- you wife snatcher."


    "Go away, you annoying mosquito. I have a surprise for my sister." Arjun brushed him off as he ushered me to the front porch.


    "Arjun, where are we going?" I asked him when I noticed we crossed the porch and were heading forward. "Did you not want to eat? Let''s go inside, first have something," I tried to convince him but he had other intentions.


    Was he being serious about taking me out? I wanted to spend the day with Eshan. To be honest, it had been so long when I got a peaceful time with Eshan... After the events of the last couple of months, I wanted to enjoy every second with Eshan. Not that I hated Arjun''s company or anything, but my top priority was Eshan.


    I could not help but wonder, what plans Eshan might have made. I wanted to be part of them; I wanted to see what he had on his mind.


    "You''ll know when we get there." Arjun mysteriously smiled. "It''s a surprise."


    I suddenly had a very bad feeling about his surprise. Eshan''s surprise had made me feel conscious about surprises. I had a fright about receiving surprises now. I was better off not receiving any rather than being at the receiving end of shocks.


    "Arjun, I don''t want any surprises. Please, let''s head back. Alright?" I said as I tried to free my hand from his hold. My voice quivered. Arjun let go of me as he loosened his hold.


    I scurried back, abruptly moving away. My back collided against Eshan as he was following closely from behind.


    *


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 Chapter 118 - Arjuns Surprise

    |Innaya|


    "Are you okay?" Eshan asked me once he held me, preventing me from falling.


    I nodded my head. Arjun looked at me with his concerned eyes.


    "Did I scare you?'' he asked as his blue eyes guiltily peered at me.


    My heart broke watching him face turning sad. It was not his fault, to begin with. My fears for surprise took birth two months ago, and it was because of Eshan. Arjun had no relation to the matter.


    I shook my head, "No... It''s... it''s... nothing," I replied, not knowing how to tell him about my fears. They were baseless. Just because I stumbled once does not mean that I should quit walking. It was the same thing. Even if a couple of surprises had turned disastrous, it did not mean that every surprise would turn bad.


    "She''s afraid of surprises because of me," Eshan answered Arjun on my behalf. He figured out the reason on his own, and his voice had lowered as if he felt guilty.


    Perhaps, he got reminded of those two months of our separation because of his surprise. We both were at fault, and we both were not. It was hard to decide whose fault was more. There was no point in thinking about it now. We were trying to move on, and unless we stopped recalling past, how were we meant to move on?


    I moved my hand behind my back, and blindly found Eshan''s hand without much difficulty. I opened his fingers that were curled into a fist, and as I opened them, I intertwined my fingers with his and held onto him.


    "No, it''s not that. Can''t you tell what is it?" I asked Arjun as I continued to lean against Eshan, taking strength from him. The feeling of safety in his arms slowly calmed me down.


    Arjun squinted his eyes before he glanced at me, searching my face for any discomfort. "Are you sure? I would rather not show you than scaring you."


    "No, it''s fine. Let''s go," I tugged at our joined hands, asking him silently to follow me.


    Arjun pursed his lips before he regained his smile. He took a lead, and we followed him behind.


    "Wait here," Arjun said once we reached before his car.


    Puzzled, I watched him going around the car as he completed half a circle, and opened the back door.


    "Do you know, what is it?" I murmured as I asked Eshan.


    "No," Eshan whispered back. When he spoke, his breath tickled the skin of my neck. I shivered involuntarily.


    I averted my gaze from Arjun to the right side; a little rose garden greeted my sight. I had planted those rose plants when I moved here. There was a unique kind of happiness I got when a rose bloomed on the plant. I used to do gardening back at my maternal home. That was part of my therapy though. Later, I got addicted to taking care of the garden I eventually created over the years.


    I had thought that I would miss this in my new home. However, who knew, right after two days, Eshan would take me to the nursery, and let me chose from the variety of plants. I still remembered the events of that morning before we went to the nursery.


    *


    Flashback -


    *


    "Innaya? Are you ready?" Eshan''s voice came from the downstairs. He was not rushing me, it was his excitement making him do things.


    "Yup, just give me a minute," I yelled from the bedroom.


    I chuckled at the happiness in his voice. I tied my hair in a ponytail as I checked my appearance in the mirror. On second thought, I removed the hair tie, and instead secured my hair from both the sides with hairclips. Just a day before yesterday on the plane, I realized Eshan''s adoration towards my open hair.


    I did not understand why I wanted to do something to please Eshan. It was not a big deal, yet I could not bring myself to not do it.


    Somehow, the thought of pleasing Eshan filled me with unknown happiness. I smiled at my foolishness. Picking up my purse from the dressing table, I checked it if I had necessary stuff in there, like sanitizer, tissue, wipes, money, mobile, and moisturizers. Satisfied with everything in place, I left the bedroom locking the door on my way out.


    Everything was still so new here. In Bangalore, I had familiarized myself with my new home easily. And, it was easier because of my family being in the same city as well as the stress of exams. So there was very little room for feeling awkward or anything.


    However, after coming to Mumbai, things suddenly changed, and I did not know how to cope up with the things.


    Just a day before, I had a panic attack, and I was still dealing with its after-effects. Thankfully, Eshan accepted the explanation I gave to him.


    *


    "Let''s go. Where are we going by the way?" I asked Eshan once I reached near him while I fastened the watch on my wrist.


    When I did not receive any response from Eshan, I raised my head, halting my movement. Taken aback on taking in Eshan''s stunned face before my eyes, I momentarily forgot what I was saying.


    His brown eyes were fixed on my face as if he was seeing me for the first time. Breaking out of the trance, I consciously touched my face. Was there something on my face?


    I opened my purse to take out the mobile. Picking out the mobile, I went to the camera. Observing my face in it, I found nothing was out of place. Then, why was Eshan so thrown away? Did he not like my outfit? I looked down at my black jeans and a purple top. I did not find it that bad. I raised my head, not understanding the reason behind Eshan''s behavior.


    "Eshan? Is there something wrong with my outfit?" I asked him lightly touching his arm.


    Eshan visibly flinched as if electrocuted. He shook his head as he looked here and there. His hand went to his hair, messing the neatly combed hair. Few bangs fell on his forehead, and he did not even realize.


    "Are you done? Let''s go," he said as he turned and left hastily mumbling something on his way. I failed to catch up on what he was muttering though.


    I stared at his back. Just what the hell happened just now? He did not even listen to my words, did not even answer my question, and left just like that. I frowned as I followed behind him wondering what might be the reason behind his unusual behavior.


    I was looking down while walking, and thus my lack of attention ended up making me collide against Eshan who had returned.


    "Sorry."


    "What''s wrong with you?"


    We both said at the same time. I rubbed my forehead which received the hit from his sturdy chest.


    "It''s your fault. You are looking so beautiful that I can hardly concentrate on anything," Eshan mumbled.


    My face started heating up as I caught on his words that were not meant to be for my ears.


    *


    Flashback ends -


    *


    "What are you thinking about?" Eshan''s voice pulled me out of my memory lane.


    Thinking about that morning, I suddenly got goosebumps. At that time I did not know about Eshan''s true feelings. I had no idea that he was in love with me. Now, looking back, many weird behaviors of his were starting to make sense to me.


    "Nothing," I replied as I blinked my eyes. I folded my lips to stop them from curving in a foolish grin.


    I had forgotten about the roses in the last two months. I wondered how they were even alive. Maybe, someone took care of them, and I did not notice it.


    "Woof, woof."


    Suddenly the barking sound of dog came and startled I hurried back. However, behind me, Eshan was standing so I had nowhere to go.


    "Is it what I think it is?" I mumbled when the barking sound became prominent.


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 Chapter 119 - Fortune

    | Innaya |


    "Calm down, sweetheart." Eshan rubbed my back as he tried to hold me steady in his arms.


    "Arjun, what''s it? Is that a dog?" Eshan yelled out.


    I anxiously looked around to search for the source of that sound.


    The barking did not sound angry though; it was as if happy or excited kind of barking.


    Arjun did not reply as he emerged out of the other side. I cautiously looked behind him, and I stepped back more into Eshan at the sight of a large golden retriever following behind him. Why I knew so vividly about the breed was because of my cynophobia. It was the same breed that caused me a lifetime of scare and till today, I could not forget about that incident.


    "What the hell!" Eshan hissed from behind me.


    I could feel my breathing turning heavier as that dog followed behind Arjun.


    "Arjun, get Fortune out of here. She''s cynophobic." Eshan urgently addressed to him as he rubbed my forearms.


    My eyes were trained on that dog. I wanted to turn on my feet and run away, but my feet were stuck on the ground. I could not move. That dog''s attention was still on Arjun as his big eyes happily looked at Arjun. His tail wagged excitedly and there was that big grin plastered across his face, with that large tongue hanging outside.


    And, like a slow-motion, it happened. Dog''s eyes snapped in our direction. He stared at us for a couple of moments, I held his gaze. By this time, Arjun and he had appeared before us.


    Arjun seemed to be not caring about Eshan''s warning as he did not take away his dog. He sat on his knees as he petted the dog''s head with his left hand, and his right hand caressed the dog''s neck.


    "Is he scary for you?" Arjun asked me pointing to the dog beside him who by now had sat on its hind legs, curiously glancing around and enjoying Arjun''s love.


    I could not speak. I just waited for the dog to make a move. In my childhood, I loved dogs, but after that incident of getting attacked, I could not bring myself to share the same emotion towards them. It was as if some invisible wall was built in my heart.


    "His name is Fortune. He''s a service dog. Do you know what service dogs are?" Arjun asked. Then without waiting for my reply, he continued, "They help people who are going through hard times. They help people in reducing their stress. Fortune came in my life when nothing seemed to be working for me. I could see myself sinking in darkness. Just like a sun giving life with his presence to this world, Fortune entered my life, brightening it."


    "You know, who brought Fortune in my life?" Arjun questioned as he looked lovingly at the dog whose name I realized was Fortune. I had no idea who brought Fortune in his life or why. Honestly, I would have not cared if his previous words did not make me think about what had happened in his life.


    "Who?" I asked before I could realize what I was doing. My eyes flickered between Arjun and Fortune. Eshan silently held me. He did not seize his motion of rubbing my arms and at some point his hand had come around my waist to my front, pulling me back to his chest.


    Arjun smiled, his blue eyes turning to the man behind me. I understood his unsaid words. Eshan. Eshan had brought Fortune in Arjun''s life. Would my husband ever fail to surprise me with his thoughtfulness?


    "Eshan had found Fortune when he was still a pup, barely a couple of weeks old. What you see before you now, is all hard work of this husband of yours," Arjun said. "Fortune was his pet for a year. He gave Fortune to me, and that brought a considerable change in my life at that time. Though it was hard for him to hand over his baby, yet he did that. I should thank your husband for it. I did not realize how the last three years went with Fortune around me. He''s one of the best things happened in my life"


    As if Fortune, understood Arjun as he licked Arjun''s hand, barking excitedly. As if telling him, that he too felt the same, his tail wagged continuously showing his happiness.


    I, on the other hand, had a very tough time dealing with this new piece of information. Eshan loved dogs, then why I had not seen one in this house? Was it because I mentioned about my cynophobia? That did not make any sense? I told him about it on our first day in Mumbai. At that time it was impossible for him to make the dog disappear magically if he had any.


    So, if he had a dog or not? Was he going to bring one later? And, because of my phobia of dogs, he did not bring any. Was it because of me that Eshan had to suppress his likings and had to avoid doing things he loved? My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I could not arrive at any conclusion.


    "No, it''s not what you are thinking. After separating from Fortune, I could not bring myself to raise another one. And, later our business expanded I got busy with frequent foreign trips and office work, so I had no time to look after the pet. It would have been cruel on my part to not look after the pet, so I didn''t have any," Eshan spoke, clearing my confusion.


    How was he able to read my mind?


    I craned my neck to look at him.


    "It has nothing to do with you. Don''t overthink it," Eshan explained when our eyes met.


    "Innaya, see, Fortune wants to greet you," Arjun announced startling me once again. Abruptly I turned my head, in time to see Fortune standing on his four legs before me. His big eyes stared at me.


    His movements were slow, steady, and calm. If it was before I would have gone into a panic attack by now, but the diverting talks of Arjun and Eshan somewhere reduced my anxiety.


    The fear was still there. I could still feel the palpitation in my heart. However, the need for running away from this place was not that prominent. I could still hold on for some time unless the Fortune decided to be misfortune.


    Eshan left my side for a while as he crouched down on the ground before Fortune. I firstly glanced at his right hand that held mine and then I watched him slowly bringing the palm of his left hand towards Fortune''s face. He did not forget to hold onto me.


    "Good boy!" Fortune sniffed Eshan''s fingers. His nose then rubbed against Eshan''s hand as he tail started wagging again at that fast pace. His tongue came out next as he licked Eshan''s palm. "Did you recognize me now? Oh! Good boy, yeah... That''s like it. Did you miss me?" Eshan talked to Fortune as he patiently waited for Fortune to familiarize himself with him.


    I could care less about what was unfolding because of the hand holding onto me. The warmth from Eshan''s palm helped me in staying put or I would eventually leave when Fortune stepped towards us.


    "Do you want to touch him?" Arjun asked me. I did not realize when he stood up and came beside me. When I heard his voice, it was only then that I noticed his presence.


    I shook my head little too forcefully at the prospect of being anywhere near to that dog physically. I was cynophobic for a reason. Life was not any kind of drama where you could get over your fears within a snap of fingers. Everything took time to happen, develop.


    Loving Eshan was the best example of that. It took me more than five months to develop feelings for him. It took me months to feel safe in his arms. It took me months to open up about my past. It was not a one-day thing. Then, how could I leave behind my fear and get comfortable with the dog- no- their Fortune?


    "No. That''s not necessary," Eshan answered too, and I was grateful for his considerate thinking.


    "Okay, then I need to talk about something. Let''s go inside," Arjun said as he took my free hand in his. "Eshan, you play with Fortune. See, he missed you," he added looking at the dog enjoying Eshan''s petting and rubbing as he laid on the floor on his back.


    I glanced at his hand holding onto me and then to Eshan''s hand. Honestly, I was scared of what he wanted to talk or bring out next. After Eshan, he was the person I had spent most of the time with. We had developed an understanding and built mutual trust. I knew he would not hurt me intentionally, but he had no idea what would trigger me. Unless I told him, how he was to know. Eshan would never tell about my past to anyone even if that was his best friend. I was sure about that in my heart. I decided to listen to what he had to say, and I wanted to thank him too for all that he did for me.


    "Okay," I agreed.


    Giving a last glance to Eshan, who looked at me with concern, I slightly nodded at him. I withdrew my hand from his and attempting a small smile at him, I turned to get back inside with Arjun.


    "Bring us something to eat in your study after some time." Arjun reminded to Eshan when we were at doorsteps.


    * * *


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    * * *

 Chapter 120 - I Am Going To Give You The Closure You Are Seeking.

    |Innaya|


    After the eventful morning, Arjun suddenly turned silent¡ª very silent. Some sort of weird tension radiated through Arjun''s body, and the walk felt as if we were walking towards battleground.


    ''Seriously? Battleground, Innaya?''


    I mentally berated myself for thinking something like this. One thing I knew for sure was, Arjun would never hurt me. Therefore, I just let him lead me. At the back of my mind, I was worried about Fortune. I did not get Arjun''s purpose of bringing his service dog to our house. Arjun did not bother to clear it either. Baffled, about his abrupt visit with Fortune, I could only wait for him to explain the matter/


    We reached the study room, he gestured me to take a seat. I nodded as I sat on the chair. Arjun did not sit, he moved further in the room, towards Eshan''s study table. The playful Arjun was gone, and the serious Arjun stood, leaning against the wooden desk.


    "How are you?" he asked folding his arms across his chest.


    His question bewildered me. I doubt he expected ''I am fine.''


    His blue eyes roamed searchingly over me. The light flickered in my head, and then the realization of what he meant dawned on me. We never had a proper discussion about that phase again just like Eshan and I never did- until yesterday.


    Slowly my lips stretched into a smile. Smiling, I nodded my head. This¡ª was the time I acknowledged his deserving place in my life as my brother. He had earned it along with my trust and respect.


    I stood up and covered the length between us, coming to halt at two steps distance from him. "You know Arjun, I have never acknowledged what you have done for me. From the start, you have been there for me. You''re Eshan''s best friend, but I felt you were my friend. You have made my life easier with your presence and help. If in those two months- had you not been there, I don''t know what I would have done. Thank you for looking out for me, taking care of me, for being there for me," I confessed.


    His blue eyes shone brighter with every word I said and, did I saw the layer of the thin layer of moisture in them? I wondered if my speech made him feel so emotional. Naturally, all the words came from my heart. There were many things I wanted to tell him. There was so much to say, but I could not find my voice. My throat felt choked up with a sudden surge of emotions, watching him turning emotional.


    I never thought Arjun would get emotional. He was the guy who would turn atmosphere light with his humor. Today, there was something wrong with him. I just failed to pin-point the reason. I took the initiative and wrapped my arms around him. "Thank you for being the brother I never had."


    Maybe it surprised him, but after initial surprise subsided, his arm came around my shoulder, and I heard his whisper, "You are my sister. Of course, I am going to be there for you."


    Pulling back, I looked up. Honestly, all of them were very tall, and I bet Horlicks was their favorite drink in childhood. Okay, kidding aside, but they were really tall compared to me. I felt so small before them.


    "Okay! Enough of all these emotional talks. Let''s sit and talk. Alright," he said as he put his arm across my shoulder and moved to the chairs.


    After taking our seats, Arjun turned more serious than I had seen him ever. His face was not this serious even when Eshan went missing.


    "Today, I am going to give you the closure you are seeking." Arjun looked in my eyes with a firm resolve in his own blue orbs.


    ''What closure is he talking?'' I frowned.


    "What are you talking about?" I did not mean my voice to come out suspicious, but it did anyway.


    "Do you know why your marriage happened in so rush?" he asked as he placed his forearms on his knees. Locking his fingers he brought the clasped palms to his chin and leaned on them.


    "There was no auspicious date." ''¨CAnd Grandpa wanted me to marry.'' I said the last part to myself.


    The slight shake of his head implied otherwise. Either he did not believe me, or he thought he knew something that I did not. It was that moment when I noticed the file in his hand. Until now I had not realized there was the file with him. The file he had brought now lay opened, but I saw how for a fleeting second he hesitated before pulling out some papers from it. "Because of this¡ª"


    We kept looking at each other. By now, I had gotten an inkling regarding what he could be talking about. The familiar blue logo diminished any other doubts I had, yet I sat there not taking those papers from him. There was no need, for I knew everything.


    "Before reading it, know that your mom is fine now. She is recovering well," Arjun ensured me. Truthfully, I knew what it was the moment he uttered those words. He was telling me about my mother''s heart condition. Eshan never did. He knew, yet he chose to not divulge the information to me. Somehow, I understood Eshan''s motive behind not telling me. I wanted to know, how he perceived it.


    "How... how do you know it?" Stuttering was not what I had in my mind, but eventually, I did stutter. If he somehow managed to know about it, then there was no point in hiding it. The main question was how he managed to. He did not know my family personally, then how was he able to know such confidential information? The reports were proofing enough of belonging to the hospital record. No hospital shared the patient''s information with outsiders.


    How?


    "I know many things."


    That sentence caught me off guard. ''I know many things.'' Like what? He sure knew about the PTSD. Did he know what caused it?


    Somehow, words failed me, and so did the questions. The truth Mom and Eshan, had managed to keep away from me for all these months was in front of me, and Arjun was the last person I had expected to reveal it to me.


    "I think your mom, never wanted to burden you-"


    The door opened revealing Eshan carrying the tray filled with snacks. He walked in giving me a smile before winking playfully. He placed the tray on the coffee table, all the while his eyes never left mine completely disregarding Arjun.


    The strange fear suddenly started building in my chest as Eshan''s eyes fell on the papers I had yet not taken in my hand.


    Eshan snatched the papers from Arjun''s hand. His eyes roamed wildly across the paper for a minute or so before he slammed those papers across Arjun''s chest. "Bloody hell. What the-"


    The air turned grimed around us, and between the chaos that erupted in the room, I managed to catch the angry sentence being slapped between the best friends. I could understand Eshan''s flared up temper, but I never imagined him to lose control this way. It was as if they were about to get involved in a physical fight.


    "It was not your secret to reveal." Eshan glared furiously at Arjun, but the latter was least intimidated. I would have left long ago if Eshan''s rage was directed at me yet Arjun seemed pretty nonchalant about it.


    "Yeah, right. It wasn''t. You don''t have to treat her like a glass doll. It''s her life and you people don''t have to interfere in it according to your will," Arjun scoffed.


    Eshan turned to me, his hands coming to hold my shoulders as he earnestly tried explaining, "Sweetheart, listen to me. Yes, I was aware of it, but that was not the only reason. You were falling back into depression, and Mom feared about you."


    * * *


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    * * *

 Chapter 121 - Arcane

    | Innaya |


    I failed to understand what Eshan was trying to do. I did not question him, neither I blamed my mother. She had a habit of hiding matters from others. She loved taking things in her hand, without taking help from anyone. She did not realize how this habit of hers hurt others. Asking Eshan to not share it, must have been her doing. I was not surprised.


    "Eshan either leave us alone or keep quiet," Arjun cut in.


    "Che diavolo ¨¨ il tuo problema, Arjun? Smettila di stressarla. Smetti di interferire nella nostra vita," Eshan furiously continued in that foreign language. Perhaps because he did not want me to know.


    However, the hurt that flashed in Arjun''s eyes told me that whatever Eshan said was not friendly, and Arjun''s next sentence proved it.


    "Interfering? I am interfering in your life?" Arjun scoffed before his eyes turned cold. "I am looking out for the people I love, who better than you know this?" A bitter smile spread on his lips. He jabbed his finger in Eshan''s chest as he mumbled, "You kept pushing your nose in something you thought concerned me, and that my dear friend goes for me too."


    Eshan''s face lost all the anger, and he abruptly turned away not able to bear the glazed look in Arjun''s eyes. The whole topic appeared as a secret between two best friends regarding something very sensitive matter so I dared not to make any inappropriate remark.


    Somehow, I managed to find my voice, casting one glance at Eshan''s back I said, "Eshan, you won''t speak unless spoken to." Already I felt bad for being the reason for disagreement between them, but I would not drive the wedge between them nor would I let act Eshan rashly.


    "Sorry about him," I apologized sincerely amidst the chocked up emotions. The apology was for the hurt Eshan caused Arjun because for a fleeting moment, I caught the sight of immense pain in Arjun''s eyes.


    Arjun hesitated as he looked at Eshan before he replied, "Mmm... That''s fine... I have something else to show to you, but I am not sure now."


    "Please," I urged helplessly.


    Once again, we sat taking our seats, with Eshan still occupying one spot silently and drilling holes in the opposite wall. Shuffling through some worn-out pages Arjun pulled out stock of old pages and warily asked, "Do you want to know about the case of Ravindra Rawat?"


    I contemplated for a while, why did that name ring a bell?


    Ravindra Rawat?


    A shudder ran through my body as if struck by a bolt of lightning.


    Ravindra Rawat. The man, who made my life hell, the man, because of whom I had suffered growing up, the man who tried to kill his blood. Ravindra Rawat, unfortunately, the very same man, who was the reason for my existence on this earth.


    My father.


    "No," I shook my head vigorously. He was not the one I wanted to seek information about. Past was called as past because of some reason and I had learned long ago to not delude myself by indulging in the past. Grandpa taught me the importance of the present and future. I knew where my priorities lie.


    "I thought so." Arjun nodded understandingly. "Look, I never intended to hurt you," he explained sincerely after keeping everything back in the folder.


    "We know," Eshan replied on my behalf before he sat beside me, pulling me in his arm, "you were just looking out for her," he finished with a thankful nod. I sighed as the familiar warmth comforted me, and I relaxed in his arms. Eshan realized my need for support, and most importantly behaved as a mature adult he was.


    "I love you, you know that right? I will always try my best to keep you happy. Take care of yourself and this husband of yours," Arjun said.


    He placed his hand on my head affectionately before he ruffled my hair. Why did I feel he was saying goodbye? His voice though was joking on the last part, but it was laced with absolute seriousness that was hard to be mistaken.


    "Arjun?" I called out just before he reached the door.


    He stopped but did not turn back. "Hmm?"


    "Why today and how?"


    His mobile rang before I could get an answer from him.


    "I have to take this, it''s important. I am sorry," he briefly explained before answering the call, but he had turned towards us and leaned on the door.


    "Yes."


    "Okay."


    This brief one-sided conversation lasted for only half a minute. However, the steely resolve in Arjun''s eyes scared me. I looked towards Eshan, and he also noticed it, but he did not say anything.


    "Take care both of you and don''t fight. I won''t be there for sorting out or being a mediator."


    My heart completely missed a beat as Arjun uttered those words. He was actually scaring me. It was unusual behavior and never had I felt so unsettled for him.


    "What do you mean? Where are you¡ª"


    "You aren''t¡ª"


    Eshan and I both stood up and talked at the same time. However, the questions were totally opposite as if Eshan knew what was going on.


    "Chill guys. I am going out of the city for a while." Arjun smiled but it did not reassure me. "And, take care of Fortune for me. I''ll leave him with you guys.''


    "Look, I am getting late. I will take my leave now. Bye." And, just like that, he was gone before we could stop him.


    Eshan stared the way he left with complex emotions, and what I read in his eyes was fear tainted with worry. I could not bear the helpless look that crossed Eshan''s feature, and the way he balled his hands tightly on his side did not escape from my eyes either.


    Not being able to see the torment on his face, I moved close to him. Slowly, I wrapped my arms around him before resting my head on his chest. Rather than the revelations Arjun did, my heart ached for the sudden exit he took and concluding by the rapid heartbeat of Eshan, I could only assume he felt the same.


    Arcane¡ª was the word I could use to describe Arjun. Someone very few could understand and maybe Eshan fell in that list. He was layered with the mysteries I could not comprehend.


    * * *


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    * * *

 Chapter 122 - Fluffy Ball Of Fur

    |Innaya|


    Two pairs of eyes locked in a fierce battle continued the staring competition without any break. Now, one might wonder who those eyes belonged. Contrary to the normal expectation, it was not Eshan.


    I would have loved to engage in gazing at Eshan''s deep molten orbs, but sadly it was not the case. Perched up on the sofa chair with my knees tucked underneath I stared ahead consciously. At around ten feet distance from me, there laid a reason for my misery, innocently.


    Innocently? Did I just think that the fluffy ball of fur looking at me with those big eyes was innocent? I must be losing my mind to think that. But as I continued looking at him, there was that slowly spreading feeling of liking towards the dog. His lack of aggressive behavior must have something to do with it.


    I regarded Fortune warily. He did not do anything harmless. He did not even try to approach me as if he was already taught by Eshan to stay away from me.


    After Arjun abruptly left in the morning, Eshan also locked himself in his study. Something bothered him, and he brushed it off making up excuses for not feeling well. I knew Arjun''s departure worried him. It was written on his face, he just did not realize that. From bits and pieces of Arjun''s conversations so far, I knew he also had some terrible past. Otherwise, he would not have guessed my condition.


    Imagining Arjun going through something terrible that had left a big wound on him; I felt heartache in my heart for him. From my own experience, I knew how hard it was to deal with aftereffects of the trauma. I just prayed that he was okay and he too gets someone in his life that would help him move on. Eshan and I were there for him.


    However, it was not the same. As my life partner, Eshan had that love, understanding, patience, and respect for me. I wanted the same for Arjun, too. Kind of emotional safety a partner could provide would not be compared to that of what anyone else could offer.


    Eshan knew about Arjun''s past, and it would be very wrong on my part to ask him about it. I just prayed that Arjun would be okay and he returned safe and sound to us.


    Fortune whined tilting his head on his paws. I wondered if he did that because, for a minute or so, my attention had shifted from him as I thought about Arjun.


    "Do you think Arjun is in some kind of trouble?" I asked him about his owner. I realize my mistake after the question was out. Was I trying to communicate with a dog who I did not know? Dogs could understand human emotions and gestures. However, the possibility of understanding a stranger sounded weird to even my ears. I shook my head, thinking about my weirdness but, the idea of talking to Fortune seemed quite appealing. Back then I had searched ways for overcoming my cynophobia. One of them was to watch videos of dogs, and assure myself that not every dog out there would attack me.


    Somewhere I had gotten over it and learned to handle my anxiety. That was also the reason that I could stay without breaking into a run before Fortune. My eyes from time to time glanced at stairs, waiting for Eshan to leave his study.


    Fortune licked his front paws while occasionally looking around. I had to admire his patience in staying in one place. Maybe, that was why Arjun said he was the service dog.


    If I was not cynophobic I would have approached him. Because he looked so damn cute that no one would resist themselves from touching or petting him. There was that comforting aura around him. He did not give the feeling of running away from him.


    I looked at the bag Arjun had left behind. After he left, around half an hour later when I came downstairs for preparing lunch, at that time I found Fortune lazing on the rug. And, at one corner a big brown bag was placed. Beside it, there were two bowls- one filled with water and second with dog food.


    It was a good thing that Fortune''s needs were taken care of. I would have had a hard time to give him food. From some distance it was okay, but what if he got excited and rushed towards me? Dog''s have a very good sense of smell, and smelling their favorite food, it was understandable for them to get excited.


    However, that excitement was not easy to handle for someone like me who had cynophobia. My thought also circled around my mom. I had not checked upon her in the last couple of months. Though I would receive updates about her health from her doctor, yet it was not the same case. I had not confronted her about it because I wanted her to tell me on her own.


    My mobile rang, breaking the silence. Fortune''s ears twitched as he raised his head. I picked up the mobile from my lap. Looking at my grandmother''s name flashing across the screen, I felt joy bubbling in my chest. It had been so long that I had talked to my family. Last I remember, we had talked around two and a half months ago. So much had happened in this period that I had forgotten calling back at home.


    They must be quite worried about me. I wondered how they were holding up, and how I was going to explain why I did not contact them. Grandma would catch my lie from my voice. I was a very terrible liar. Maybe, I should at least try to make up some excuse.


    "Hello, Grandma!" I greeted once I answered the call.


    *


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    *

 Chapter 123 - Why?

    |Innaya|


    "Oh, do you still remember this grandma? Where were you from so many days?"


    I bit my lips as I heard grandma''s complaining fierce tone. She had every right to be angry. The girl who called her twice every day even after getting married suddenly cut her contact. Anyone at her place would feel worried.


    "Sorry, grandma." I apologized, not knowing what else to say. Silence descended on us. My glazed eyes looked ahead at Fortune. He was looking at me while tilting his head from time to time.


    Until now, I would not hesitate to share things with her, but those issues were not so grave. How could I tell her that I blamed Eshan for having an extramarital affair and that caused our painful separation? That would mean telling her about my panic attacks, and everything that comes with it. How should I tell her that I was kidnapped by my husband''s friends?


    I heard grandma''s sigh from another end. I controlled my urge to cry.


    "Are you okay, Innu? What''s happening in your life child?" Grandma''s concern was back with just a single apology from my side.


    I bit my lip hard, hearing the concern dripping from her tone. The nickname given to me by her stirred the unsaid emotions in my heart. It had been so long that I have heard that nickname. I made her worried because of my own mistakes. My mother''s condition already burdened her and my unannounced disappearance must have thrown her in distress. How was I meant to explain things to her? Just how?


    Suddenly I felt a wet sensation on my palm. I looked down to see Fortune at some point in time had walked to me, and he was the one licking back of my palm. As if he was telling me to hold on, to not cry.


    Were animals really that sensitive towards emotions? Did he sense the fluctuating emotions within me? Did he sense my distress?


    Somehow, his act instead of scaring the hell out of me, made me feel better. The guilt I was feeling somehow lessened and I could feel my emotions returning back to normal.


    With tears in my eyes clearing, I breathed in deeply. Numb, I even forgot that I still held my mobile in my other hand, and the call was still connected.


    "Innu? Are you crying? Tell me, what''s the wrong sweetie. Your grandma is here for you."


    My grandmother''s voice reminded me of her presence on the other side. Startled, I pulled my hand reflexively out of Fortune''s reach...


    ''What''s wrong with me?'' I frowned. Why was I not concentrating properly?


    It seemed my action hurt Fortune, for his ears twitched and his eyes accusingly stared at me sadly. If it was possible to compare him to human then it was as of he was a small child who was told off. His face looked that sad.


    "Innu? Can you hear me?" Grandma asked again and this time loudly.


    "Is she alright, mom. Let me talk to her." I heard my mother''s worried voice in the background. I should have expected it though. If grandma called then both of them had to be together.


    "Grandma, I''m okay. The signal is bad here. I''ll video call you tomorrow. Take care. Don''t worry, we''re fine," I hastily said, not wanting to talk to my mother. Saying my goodbye, I disconnected the line from my side.


    I slumped in my place. Throwing the damn mobile on the sofa beside me, I hid my face in my hands.


    Why did I disconnect the line after hearing my mom''s voice? I did not understand my behavior. Agreed, I felt guilty for disappearing on them, but why would I want to avoid her?


    She was my mother.


    Was I holding her responsible for rushing my marriage? I knew about her illness, but never had I thought that she would trick me in marrying Eshan giving the false reason of auspicious dates. Was she thinking that I would not agree otherwise? Why did she have to lie?


    I refused to understand her this time. In the end, I was human too. What exactly she was trying to hide? In my childhood, she tried to hide her broken marriage and that caused me a lifetime of pain.


    At the start, I had blamed her. I had blamed her for leaving me in that hell hole while she escaped. Later, after therapy, I slowly accepted her back in my life. It took a lot of time to make things back on the track, but eventually, I learned to not hold her responsible anymore.


    In the end, she again lied to me, tried to hide things from me. Why? Why?


    "Why, mom? Why? What do you take me as? Why time and again, you are disappointing me? Why, mom?" I muttered, clutching my head in my hands.


    My eyes jerked opened when I recalled Eshan''s admittance to this truth. He knew about my mother''s health condition. And, Eshan. He knew everything. He did not try to be honest with me. He just agreed to her and played along. How could he? He had said- ''That without trust there is no love.'' If he loved me for so long, then how could he cheat me, hide the truth from me?


    My head hurt thinking about it. I could still remember the anxiety of that day when Eshan had come to see me. I could still remember walking back home with millions of scary thoughts running in my mind. Those emotional talks of my grandmother, my mother''s insistence, I could still recall everything vividly. In the end, it all turned out to be thoughtful planning of people who were my loved ones.


    Were they thinking I was gullible and they could play around with my feelings? Was this marriage so important?


    I again failed to understand why I was feeling so agitated now. When Arjun told me things, I had no such extreme reaction, then why now? Was it because I heard her worried voice? Perhaps it had something to do with my PTSD. Arjun''s revelation took time to sink in and it was one of those times where I was having a late extreme reaction towards things.


    It often happened to me. But, why now? Why was I feeling so worthless suddenly? Why was I feeling so low? Why those negative thoughts were crowding in my mind?


    * * *


    * * *


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 Chapter 124 - Do you think I deceived you?

    |Innaya|


    Something was breaking inside me. I had no idea what, but there was that empty feeling crawling on me. I shuddered with suppressed emotional turmoil boiling inside me.


    I could simply not understand why such things had to happen to me. Just yesterday, I trusted Eshan and shared something which I had not shared with anyone. I thought he deserved it. I was not sure anymore.


    I did not expect him to do so. I would have eventually married him but why they had to lie? I hated liars, and my family was very well informed about it. Had they thought of consequences when I got to know the truth? Were they concerned about how it would affect me?


    I felt like pulling my hair. Was I so unworthy of love and happiness? Something or other would happen and destroy my happiness. Even if it was for a day, I started feeling content, things would fall apart.


    I did not blame anyone but myself. However, I could not help but think otherwise now. Had I not married Eshan because of deceit they did to me, things would have happened differently.


    I would still have gotten the chance to complete my master''s. I would not have missed my opportunity of enrolling for a master''s degree. I would still have been at my home. Somehow, I would have helped mom with her condition. Those painful two months of separation would not have happened.


    Karan would not have kidnapped me. I would not have faced Sahil''s craziness that reminded me of my father. I would not have met that woman who was the reason of my miserable life. I would not have to bear so much pain.


    Things really would have been different. Instead of rushing me to marry a stranger at that time, I could have gotten a chance to know him. The courtship period would have brought us closer, and things would have slowly fallen in place.


    However, was there any point in crying over spoilt milk?


    No.


    It was my destiny. I could not change the past. But... It hurt. Thinking about everything, I started to feel awful with every passing second. The last five months started flashing before my eyes and I could not help but clutch my hair in fists. I did not care if it was hurting or not, for the pain in my heart was much more unbearable.


    I blew out a breath as I scrunched up my face. Wiping my face with my palm I straightened up my back.


    When I opened my eyes, I had a determination in them. I wanted answers. I wanted them from my husband. I wanted them from the man who said he loves me, he loved me for so long.


    I wanted to know what he thought of me. Why he did what he did?


    What kind of satisfaction or result did he get from agreeing to my mother''s plan?


    I needed to know his side of the story. I could have kept everything to me or perhaps I could have avoided Eshan till the time my mind regained its sanity. I knew I was angry, and I was hurt too.


    The better choice would have been to keep myself isolated until I could talk without lashing out or saying bitter words. I knew it. I had learned it hard way. However, I was worried too. What if the past repeating itself?


    I did not wish to have a repeat of last time. Confronting Eshan had led to a deep misunderstanding between us. Who knew if he thought I was doubting him? Did he not say something along those lines in that house, he did.


    There was that fear too in my heart. I could not bear if he took things in the wrong way.


    "What are you thinking so hard?" Eshan''s voice came from behind me. He looked like he finally decided to get out of his study and his depressed mood because of Arjun''s departure.


    I did not turn though. My face would have given away my turmoil. And, I wanted to think things through before coming to any conclusions.


    "What to cook for us," I answered as I placed my feet on the ground. After sitting for so long they had fallen asleep, so I shook them to get rid of numbness.


    "Are you sure, sweetheart?" Eshan''s suspiciously asked.


    I did not realize when he came near me, I only knew it when he sat on the arm of the sofa chair I was occupying. I stiffened unconsciously. I did not mean to, but it happened so suddenly that I could not stop myself. I just hoped that Eshan should not have noticed.


    Who was I deceiving? He was Eshan. Nothing escaped from his eyes. His right hand came down at my chin. Grasping my chin with his fingers, he raised my head in the direction. My heart thudded violently in my chest as his eyes observed me carefully.


    With every moment passing under his scrutiny I could not help but feel conscious.


    Eshan leaned over me, and I reflexively leaned back. I saw his eyes narrowing down. "What''s bothering you?"


    I shook my head a little too quickly. "Nothing."


    "Is this about what Arjun said? Do you think I deceived you?" Eshan asked as his hand left my chin, and he stood up.


    I stayed silent. I did not know what to answer him. Was not that what I thought? Those were exact worries in my heart. What I failed to put in words were the questions swirling in my mind.


    On noticing my silence, Eshan got his answer. I watched his face falling and his eyes lowering to the ground. Fortune this time took the initiative and approached Eshan, nudging at his legs.


    A small smile appeared on his face. Eshan walked around my chair and sat down on the rug with his back resting against the sofa just across from where I was seating.


    Whether he did it intentionally or not, but he sat quite far from me. His little act of creating distance between us caused a flicker of pain to erupt in my chest, slowly transforming into a fear.


    *


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 Chapter 125 - Grievances

    |Innaya|


    Eshan refused to look at me as if he was not present in the room. Well, I did not find his behavior unexpected though. I was expecting it. I was expecting a lot more, and thus I had not tried to approach the topic.


    The man sitting before me had punished himself. He had locked himself in that house which had our worst memory just because he had handled the situation wrongly. He had thought that I would accuse him of rushing our marriage after knowing about his love for me. He had cried before me, thinking I would misunderstand things and... him. I still recalled his words of that day.


    *


    "Somewhere, I feared that you would blame me for this marriage. You would think that I had rushed everything because... because I was in love with you. However, trust me, it was not that case. I... I did not know that it would happen so suddenly. Grandpa and I had talked about it, and we were going to wait until you turn 24-25... Then Grandpa..."


    "When I was taking him to the hospital... he had me swear on you to marry you. He knew, eventually I will put forth the marriage proposal, but I don''t know why... He took the promise that I will take care of you and your family. I would have done that without binding you in this forced relationship if-"


    "It was a couple of months later Grandpa''s demise that Naina Mom called me regarding our marriage. She had asked me to bring my family. Trust me Innaya, I had no idea. I was happy taking care of you from the distance."


    *


    I now understood the ''if'' he had used that day. The words were on tip of his tongue, and at the last moment, he had stopped himself. Vaguely he had mentioned my mother''s involvement. How he knew nothing about our marriage until my mother called him.


    From his point of view, his fears were coming true. I could not fault him, and neither could I fault myself. We are humans. We can not control our thought processes. What we will think, and why we will think that way, is beyond our control. Otherwise, would not half of the world''s problems seized to exist?


    Eshan caressed Fortune''s head. Fortune responded to Eshan''s gesture by snuggling close to him. I felt jealous. Was I feeling jealous of a dog because Eshan chose him?


    Absurd. Totally absurd. I knew I should not feel that way. It was not that the distance between us was going to be permanent. No, it was not.


    ''We are going to be okay.''


    ''We are going to be okay.'' I repeated it over and over again, for a countless time in my head. I wanted to believe it, and I would.


    "Eshan," I called out his name. I would not let any misunderstanding ruin what we were having. I would talk before spoiling everything.


    "Huh?" Eshan raised his head. His expressions looked startled. Was he thinking about something?


    "I wouldn''t deny that I had thought the same. Deep down I know you wouldn''t have done so but..." I trailed off not knowing how to continue. I missed being in his arms. Had I been caged in his strong arms, listening to the beating of his heart, inhaling the perfume he used, I would have had a great chance at staying calm.


    Right now, my thoughts were jumbled up, and I was a bundle of nervousness. I could feel my palms getting sweaty. Wiping them against the fabric of my cloth, I also followed Eshan''s suit and sat on the ground.


    I did not dare to get close to him. There were two reasons, first being Fortune, and second... Eshan.


    He had distanced himself. This time I did not want to take the initiative. He had to do so because I was feeling tired of making him see things through my point of view.


    He should acknowledge that my point of view also mattered. I also deserved to know the truth. I would not break down if I knew things rather I would feel that I was important. They involved me in their life.


    What everyone had done, made me feel like an outcast. A fragile outcast, who needed people to look after her.


    I was not that one. I did not want to be one.


    At max, I would have cried, stayed depressed for a couple of days after knowing the truth about my mother''s condition, and she wishes to see me settled because of it. I would have not felt so pathetic that I was feeling now.


    I breathed heavily as I closed my eyes.


    This time, when I opened them, I had organized my thoughts...


    Somehow, contrary to my expectations, the distance between us seemed to be putting me at ease in rearranging my words.


    I could see him. I could read his every small expression. I could see the change in them, so I knew how much I had to say and what, by keeping my eyes on his face.


    "I am saying this again and will do to continue so in the future too. I''m not too good with words. I don''t know how to put my thoughts in the words. I can be too honest sometimes and I can be too introvert on some days..."


    I peeked at his expressions to make sure that he was listening to me. Despite being in a serious situation, I chuckled when I found Fortune''s ears standing erect as if he was also being attentive towards me.


    Eshan''s eyes snapped at the sound of my chuckles, and he glared resentfully at Fortune. His right hand stoped rubbing Fortune''s head, and instead, he held his ears. Twisting them playfully, he then held Fortune''s face and turned it towards himself.


    "Stop listening to my wife. She''s talking to me," he scolded that poor fellow in a hushed tone, but I heard him.


    I stopped my urge to smile. My husband could be very childish sometimes. Fortune''s big eyes stared at Eshan as if he was listening to something ridiculous. ''You-are-smitten-you-are-totally-gone-nuts-in-your-love-for-your-wife''. Was written all over Fortune''s face.


    Eshan also looked taken aback. Fortune then stood up on his four legs and shook his whole body. The golden fur bounced with his jerk, and it looked very cute. However, I regretted it next second when he gave ''you-are-stupid'' look to Eshan and trudged towards me.


    "No... Stay there. Look, stay there, alright?"


    I panicked and scrambled to my feet. Eshan soon followed the suit, and within a snap of fingers, his large figure was standing in front of me, blocking Fortune''s advances.


    "No," Eshan firmly said to Fortune. Fortune whined, and for a couple of seconds stared at Eshan, hoping to soften him. Eshan did not budge, he folded his arms across his chest and shook his head.


    Fortune''s eyes met mine, and I could see his reluctance. One part of me melted at his adorableness, however, another part of me, scared one, still hesitated.


    The staring session lasted for a few more moments before Fortune walked back with his head hanging lower, and ears dropping. His whole posture emitting the grievances.


    Eshan''s shoulders also dropped. He looked around, his eyes coming to rest on the bag Arjun left behind.


    He walked towards it. I could not see what he was doing because his back faced me. I could only wait in silence to know what was happening.


    * * *


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 Chapter 126 - Ill Always Find You!

    |Innaya|


    Eshan and I, shifted to the dining hall after he took out some toys and dog food from that bag, and placed it before Fortune. Once he found Fortune getting busy with it, he had silently asked me to follow him.


    I poured water in a glass after we sat down. I took slow gulps and stared at Eshan who had pulled his mobile and was doing something on it.


    With every sip of water going inside me, I felt myself slowly calming down. I did not realize how thirsty I was until I finished three glasses of water.


    "Do you need some more?" Eshan''s voice caught me by surprise and then only I noticed that the glass jar was empty.


    "Umm...no, thank you!" I blushed at my lost self. I quickly placed down the glass in my hands. "Do you need? I''ll just bring it," I said as I stood up.


    Eshan''s hand came to rest on my wrist and I stopped in my tracks.


    "Sit down. Let''s hear first what you have to say. I don''t need anything," he answered.


    "Umm... Oh, yes." I sat back in my place, putting my hands on the table.


    Again, I found myself feeling lost with just a small exchange of ours.


    "Here," Eshan said as he handed me his mobile.


    Frowning, I wondered what he was trying to do. Wordlessly, I took his mobile and looked down to see the screen.


    ***


    Mom::>


    Eshan, I know I''m rushing you, and we''re lying to Innu. I wouldn''t have done this if I had any choice. The sad part is, I don''t have any. Life had always refused to give me choices. I don''t wish to see my daughter suffering because of me.


    She thinks I don''t know what she has gone through. Somewhere she thinks it''s all my fault. She isn''t wrong. It is my fault that she had to suffer.


    My sweet child needs someone. I hope you can take her away from this city, from us. My poor child has always suffered because of me. For once, I want to do something good for her.


    You promised my father, didn''t you? It''s a perfect time to fulfill that promise. You need to marry her and take her away. She wouldn''t be able to handle one more shock. After my father''s death, she is slowly sinking back in the depression.


    Her grandpa was everything for her. She was closest to him. And, after his untimely and sudden exist from our life, my daughter is lost.


    Right now, I don''t want to tell her about my heart condition. It will only worsen her. Four months later my surgery is scheduled.


    You''ll have to make it before that. Actually, I have thought about the perfect excuse. You bring your family to our place and I''ll inform Innu, that the priest said we don''t have any auspicious dates for two years after these two weeks.


    I''ll make her agree to this marriage. If worst comes to worst, I''ll take mom''s help.


    One more request I have to make. Don''t tell her about this. She wouldn''t be able to accept that all of us lied to her, hid things from her. You might not be aware but she hates liars.


    We all know about it. She might cut all ties if she gets to know about it. We''ll tell her about this only if I recover. Until then take care of my daughter.


    My father trusted you, and I''m going to trust his judgment.


    Thank you for loving my daughter. She needs someone who would love her unconditionally and accept her the way she is, without trying to change her.


    She needs someone who isn''t like me. Someone who will won''t burden her and ruin her life. She deserves all the love and care.


    I don''t want her to end up like me. I want her to enjoy her life to the fullest. Take care of my child, don''t hurt her. She has shed countless tears for so many years. I wish her to spend the rest of her life with that beautiful smile on her face.


    You''ll look after her right?


    ***


    My eyes teared up as I read my mother''s message. I brought my closed up fist near my lips to suppress my sobs.


    I clutched his mobile. Lifting my teary eyes, I looked at Eshan. I could not fathom the expression in his dark eyes as he watched me silently all the while. I did not know how long he was watching me.


    All along I thought my mother did not bother herself about my issues. All along I thought she was a selfish woman who kept herself above everyone. All along I thought she had no regret, maybe she had but she did not show me. Perhaps she had tried, but I don''t remember much.


    After that incident in my childhood, I had built a shell around myself, where no one but my grandpa had an entry. I did not have memories of my mother. She stayed away from me, perhaps because I did not allow anyone to get close to me.


    However, after reading her message to Eshan, I could not help but reconsider all my opinions about her. It was not easy for her, too. Honestly, I did not blame her every time, but there were some times when I did.


    Eshan sighed as he stood up. Covering the little distance between us and before he could say something, I almost threw myself at him. Circling my hands around his waist I hugged him as my tears fell endlessly.


    "I received mom''s message about a week before our engagement. She had sent this to me when she couldn''t get to me. I didn''t know what to do. The situation was totally unexpected. I wanted to talk to you, tell you all the things but... Mom was right too. We couldn''t figure out how you''ll react," Eshan said as he caressed my hair and patted my back.


    After listening to him, I could not help but feel more guilty for thinking wrongly about them. That''s why we should think carefully before reaching to any conclusion. I couldn''t be more grateful for not acting on my impulse. My word would have caused more hurt. In anger, I would often say or do something which caused me regrets later. This time though in my heart I felt wronged, I held in my emotions.


    "For those six months after grandpa left, I had seen how much you were affected. I saw you sitting in that park... Lost. You would stare at nothing. You wouldn''t talk to anyone. I caught you crying while looking at the sky as if you were waiting for grandpa to return. And, the day before we got engaged..." Eshan paused before he asked, "Do you remember what happened that day?"


    I registered his words and it took me a long time to recall what he was asking. I stressed my brain, but I still could not recall it. I shook my head, but I forgot my head was pressed against his midriff and accidentally rubbed his stomach. Eshan''s hand in my hair stopped moving. I might have made him uncomfortable with my mindless action because I knew he was very ticklish.


    I stiffened, but Eshan resumed his actions immediately. Perhaps he didn''t want me to see his discomfort.


    "Hmm... I see. That day, you were about to get knocked over by a car when you left the park. It was grandpa''s birthday and you were so upset that you didn''t even realize where you were going, if not for the presence of mind of the driver, things would have turned ugly. I was late in reaching you..." his voice cracked as if he was revisiting that moment.


    "Thankfully, you were saved." The relief in his voice was palpable. I could feel it. "That incident firmed my resolve of bringing you in my life. I wanted to be around you, with every right. I didn''t wish to be stranger in your life," Eshan explained as his hand slid down my head to my neck and he pulled my head back.


    His dark, intense eyes bore into mine as he leaned down. His breath caressed my tear-drenched face. I shivered under his intense gaze. I didn''t know why despite staying with him for so long, I would feel butterflies in my stomach every time he looked at me that way.


    "That legal right, authority, to stand beside you, to hold your hands. I wanted that. I wanted to be that shoulder where you could cry out all your grievances. I wanted to share your sorrows and help you. I wanted you to know that you have someone by your side," Eshan whispered against my lips.


    Each and every word of his straight away hit at my heart. I felt the sincerity in his words.


    "Well, if you want to blame someone, then blame me. If you think I deceived you, then be it. All I would say is even if I were given the choice of changing my decision, I won''t. For me, you are the most important person in my life. For your happiness, if you think that was deception, then it doesn''t matter to me. I am willing to commit countless deception then. I can only apologize to you for the pain this news caused you."


    I could only stare as Eshan continued. His words were making me feel guilty and at the same time were warming my heart.


    "I''m sorry," he apologized. "Don''t cry. I don''t want to see you shed more tears now. Say whatever you want to say but without crying. Do you get me? If you continue crying this way, you are only going to make yourself sick." He wiped my face with his white handkerchief.


    I nodded my head almost instantly. From his talks, I gathered his and mom''s intentions. They just thought they were looking after me. Maybe, after some time, I would explain to her that she didn''t have to.


    "I don''t need your deception, even if it''s for my happiness. I would rather want YOU to be the one telling me things. If it''s a bad one then be there by my side and help me deal with it. Don''t hide things from me, I''m not that fragile. I''m grown up and I can handle things, and if I am unable to, then I have you. I''ll always find you," I replied to him, emphasizing my point.


    And, to prove my point, I raised my head and met the lips on the man who was my husband. The man who from so long only wanted my happiness. The man who looked after me from distance and yet knew me better than myself.


    * * *


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 Chapter 127 - I Cant Lose You, Innaya!

    | Eshan |


    I cradled Innaya closer as her unconscious body lay in my arms. We were cooking together when all of a sudden; she fainted and fell on the floor, leaving me terrified.


    Rather than taking her to the hospital since I knew how uncomfortable hospitals got her, I chose to call the doctor at home. I was panicking with every passing moment she wasn''t opening her eyes with.


    "Keep her safe, keep her safe," I kept mumbling as I silently prayed to every God whose existence I was aware of and every God whose, I wasn''t for my Innaya.


    The sound of the doorbell that fell in my ears had me carefully withdraw myself from Innaya as I rushed downstairs to let the doctor in. I was sure it was Dr. Mittal and as I opened the door, I got the confirmation.


    "Come in, doc." I held the door open for him as I allowed him space to get inside. Dr. Mittal and I were on quite friendly terms. I had met him for my occasional headaches a couple of years ago and his warm nature instantly had us bond really well. He had been out of the country for some conference and had returned just a week ago. We had exchanged some casual messages just the previous day.


    Dr. Mittal lived at hardly a walking distance. I knew he was on leave for a couple of more days so rather than going to the nearest hospital that would have taken me more than half an hour, I chose to contact him.


    I led him to our bedroom where Innaya was, and anxiously waited for him to examine her.


    What had happened to Innaya? I had no idea. She was doing just fine. I had turned to take out wheat flour from the upper shelf and the container that had wheat flour had slipped from my hand as the sudden sound of something dropping on the ground hit my ears and it was Innaya - I had realized, once I had turned around.


    "Eshan, I would need some blood tests done before we can rule out why she fainted though I can already tell you, it''s nothing serious but her low hemoglobin. I can see it." Dr. Mittal got up; handing over a prescription to me that had a CBC and a couple of other tests written over it.


    I nodded, registering the tests in my head. Could Innaya be anemic? I wondered.


    "I''ll send over someone to get her blood sample, and he would take it to the pathology. The reports should come by the evening and I am sure, Innaya would be much better by evening as well. You two visit me at the clinic in the evening."


    "But you are on leave, aren''t you?" I asked, slightly confused at his comment about his clinic.


    Dr. Mittal laughed. "A doctor can''t stay away from his patients for long. I canceled it. I was just going to the clinic when you called." He smiled before he left.


    "Innaya," I murmured, sitting on the edge of the bed. Leaning forward, I pressed my lips against her forehead.


    How careless could I really be? She was anemic and I didn''t even pay attention? I was mad at my own self. My palm cupped her cheek as my lips still lingered on her forehead. My lips descended to her closed eyelids, and I could not help the few tears that escaped my eyes and fell on her cheeks. That was when I pulled myself back and stood up from the bed.


    Arjun had told me that Innaya had not properly eaten when I had disappeared.


    She barely must have eaten anything that provided her body nutrition.


    When we met again, I was lost in the guilt of my own mistakes and that had left her again to neglect her health.


    Then, Karan entered our lives, only adding on to already messed up things. And, today also she stressed and cried because she thought we deceived her.


    Besides, Innaya had heavy periods. Although we never talked about it, but I was not ignorant of the discomfort of my wife in every month and how many packs of pads she required every month.


    Damn me. How did I not think about it earlier? Why did I not think about it earlier?


    When I was busy drowning in the guilt for not being able to take care of her, I heard the doorbell ringing, and I knew it must be the person whom Dr. Mittal must have sent to take Innaya''s blood sample.


    I went and brought him up, and he was efficient enough to swiftly pull out the needed amount of blood.


    Pushing my hand in my pocket, I grabbed my wallet and paid the amount that the tests would take already. I passed my number to that guy in his early twenties and requested him to send over the reports to me on Whatsapp as soon as they were done.


    The kind fellow obliged almost instantly without creating a fuss.


    "Please close the main door."


    I watched him meekly nod. Smiling faintly at him, I let him leave as I sat beside Innaya, pressing the small cotton ball on the place he had pricked to stop the bleeding.


    The thumb of my right hand was pressing the cotton ball, and with my right hand, I took her palm in my delicate hold.


    ''I am sorry. I am so sorry, Tesoro. I am sorry.'' I lifted her palm to my eyes as I apologized to her again. I could not fathom but more than that I could not accept that I actually let her health get affected in between the issues we had. I was being so negligent and ignorant in never giving a thought to it.


    All those two months when I was away from her, I was so consumed by my guilt that even though I had an idea that Innaya might be suffering really bad, I never realized it could be so severe.


    Somehow, I knew that Arjun would take care of Innaya when I had locked myself for those two months, but never did I thought that Innaya had issues that Arjun did not know about it. Besides, I had heard that stress could increase the blood loss during menstruation which I was almost sure had happened in Innaya''s case. I would have to talk to her about it once to confirm so that we could visit a gynecologist and get her treated for the same.


    I would try utmost to keep her as stress-free as I could henceforth, but I did not want to take any chances. I would have to get her checked up once to ensure that there was no other underlying issue.


    I raised the cotton slightly to see if the bleeding had stopped, and it indeed had. Dropping it in the dustbin, I moved to the kitchen once I saw Innaya still was not up. The doctor had told me that she would gain consciousness at some time. Meanwhile, I decided to make a beetroot soup for her, knowing it had a high amount of iron that would replenish her energy, and hemoglobin levels if they were actually low.


    ***


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 Chapter 128 - As Long As You Are Around, I Know I Am Safe.

    | Eshan |


    By the time I was back, Innaya was already awake. Her tired eyes told the tale of her weak system. How did I not notice it earlier? How did I not?


    "How are you feeling, Tesoro?" I reached the bed after I kept the soup on the side table. Helping her straighten up, I adjusted cushions behind her back before I made her comfortably lean against the headboard of the bed.


    "I am okay, Eshan," she whispered in a low tone as she tried weakly smiling at me.


    "Yes, I can see that very well," I snapped and almost immediately regretted. Damn it. How more ridiculous was I really going to be? How could I use that tone with her when she was already so low and it was my carelessness that had landed her in that state?


    I sat beside her and pulled her in my arms. "I am sorry. I am so sorry." Wrapping my arms around her, I held her closer. "It is my fault. It entirely is my fault."


    She pushed me lightly on my chest and looked at me with her those confusion filled eyes. "What are you talking about, Eshan? Come on. Stop it. I am fine."


    My sweet wife. I could never get enough of her. How innocent she truly and absolutely was. She was assuring me of being okay when I could clearly make out how weak she was from her pale face.


    "I need to know something but first drink this." I lifted the bowl and dipped the spoon in the soup. "Come on. Have this." I pushed the spoon in her mouth and she did not deny, which I know she did it because she did not want me to worry more than I already was doing so she was silently obliging to whatever I was saying.


    "It''s delicious," she mumbled while taking the spoon from my hand, insisting that she would have on her own. She kept the spoon in the bowl momentarily and put it on the other side of the bed. She took my hands in hers, staring in my eyes. "Relax. Breathe."


    I slightly bent my head as she looked through my fa?ade and saw how disturbed I was. She knew me too well. She just did.


    "I am fine, Eshan. I really am. Trust me." She attempted to assure me again and again.


    My eyes were staring into hers for several long seconds and I just enveloped her in a tight hug. "I can''t lose you, Innaya. I can''t lose you. Even a scratch on you terrifies me. It seriously does."


    Her hands slowly rubbed my back. Her touch was actually so soothing that my heart was at peace in no time. Only I knew what I went through when she was lying unconscious in front of me. Having her awake, and alive in front of, caressing my skin, feeling her hands on my back, hearing her voice was something I needed to live, I learned that day.


    Innaya was too precious to lose. She had become my life in the literal sense. She did not have an idea what and how much she meant to me. Perhaps, I myself did not know the extent to which she was important to me. I could survive without her, but I would not be able to live without her, I realized that day.


    "I am never letting any harm touch you. I promise you that," I promised her, dropping a soft and affectionate kiss on her hair.


    Her hands patted my back. "I know. I know." She pulled apart a little only to scoop my face in her palms. She pulled my face closer, letting our foreheads meet. "As long as you are around, I know I am safe."


    "Alright. Alright. Have the soup now." Although I hated breaking the moment, her health was my priority. I had to feed her. I waited until she finished the soup and kept it aside.


    "Where are you going?" I asked on seeing her trying to get down the bed.


    "Washroom," she replied, chuckling at my overly-hyped stuff.


    "Wait." I got down, picked her up and carried her to the washroom, completely ignoring her shocked eyes.


    As I put her down, I told her that I was going to wait outside until she came out and also passed her the instruction to call me in if she felt the fainting sensation again.


    She placed her hand on my shoulder, with a smile plastering on her face. "Do you not think you are overreacting, my dearest husband?" She rose on her toes and kissed on my right cheek.


    "No, I do not, my sweetest wife. You go in. I am waiting here."


    * * *


    I anxiously waited for her to come out. I was so worried that I kept talking to her all the while she was inside, to know that she was okay in there.


    "Eshan, give me five minutes, will you? I am taking a shower to feel better."


    My eyes widened as I heard her. "What? No. No shower now." I banged my hand on the door as I strictly denied her a shower. "You lack energy right now." I hoped she would listen to me. I really wished to take no risk until her reports came. What if she fainted inside? No. "Come out, Innaya. Please." My palm was sticking to the door, as I called her.


    I heard the sound of the doorknob and took a sigh of relief seeing her, but watching the frown on her face had me realize that she was really, really annoyed by my behavior. Was I being a little too annoying? Was I being too overprotective? Er, whatever. I could take no risk when it came to Innaya. Period.


    I handed her a towel to wipe her face and gently pecked her lips, leaving her stunned by my sudden action. "I love you," I confessed, to have my wife forget her anger on my irritating behavior and it worked. She blushed a deep shade of love ¨C red and I stole the opportunity to give another quick kiss on her forehead before lifting her again to the bed.


    ***

 Chapter 129 - Butterfrees

    *Six hours earlier*


    |Innaya|


    Well, I never thought I would be so bold towards a man. This would be again me who initiated the kiss. As my lips moved over his, I felt myself blushing from the way I was being brazen, but then again the man was my husband. If not with my husband, then who else I was going to act boldly with?


    Yet, despite so much convincing my mind did, my heart could not help but feel the embarrassment. Still, I held on. The emotions swirling in my heart would not let me back away. So, instead of pulling away, I tried to mimic his actions. In matters of physical intimacy, I was a complete novice. I did not lack in theoretical knowledge, but the practical one.


    Regarding kissing, all I learned was from Eshan''s kisses. Remembering how he would caress my lips with his tongue before prying the closed one with it, I tried to do it. I honestly tried.


    I really tried to follow his previous leads, but me being the clumsy me, I ended up smacking my lips against his and biting his lower lip. I tasted a metallic scent of blood in my mouth.


    Just when I was about to pull back to apologize to him and annoyed at my incapable self, I found Eshan''s hand going around my back and pulling me on my feet from the chair I was sitting upon.


    The wooden chair behind me scraped loudly against the marble floor. I did not know what happened to the chair after that because there was nothing but Eshan in my eyes thereafter. With wide eyes, I could only stare at the handsome man before me.


    His one hand held back of my head, and with precise expertise, his tongue entered mine. My eyes closed on their own accord as I started losing myself with the warmth of his lips gliding across mine, and his tongue creating havoc over my senses.


    The metallic taste of blood was replaced by a sweet taste of peppermint. Was he having peppermint before coming down?


    "Mmm..."


    Surprised at the sudden sound that escaped through my throat, I started feeling conscious about the reaction my body was having towards my husband''s actions.


    Eshan did not let me have enough time to ponder over my thoughts as his hand around my back slid lower. Snaking his arm around my waist he pulled my body impossibly close and almost above the ground. I wondered how he managed to put my 5''2" figure on his feet.


    To get better access he bent down and stole the darn breathe out of me.


    Well, I was lost.


    I was utterly, completely and hopelessly lost with the passing second, which felt like an eternity. Not that I complained about it, on the contrary, I did not wish the time to pass away.


    My arms that had held onto his shoulders, when he''d pulled me on my feet, were now wrapped around his neck. At some point in the time I had clutched onto his hair, and with every stroke of his tongue, I knew my fingers were becoming taught. He must be hurting, but Eshan seemed so oblivious to everything apart from the intimacy of our mouths.


    Those small butterflies in my stomach have long ago turned into butterfrees from Pok¨¦mon. Instead of flutters, my stomach felt as if I was on a rollercoaster ride as if a little tornado was building in the pit of my stomach.


    When I ran out of breath, Eshan considerately stopped his assault. He did not pull away though. His lips lingered over mine as I panted with short of oxygen.


    Compared to my disheveled self, Eshan seemed more in control of the situation. He did not have the extreme breathlessness I was experiencing. He merely breathed deeply instead of me, who had her mouth opened and was gasping for air.


    My legs had lost their ability to support me long ago. I almost leaned on Eshan for support. He held me carefully in his arms and gently swayed our body. I rested my forehead against his chest, too shy to face him. I wondered how from being extremely emotional, I went ahead and landed myself in such a breathless situation.


    "You need to increase your stamina."


    There. When I heard his voice mentioning about increasing my stamina, I nearly stumbled. It was not that I lacked stamina, it was he, who had insane stamina. Then again, I barely did any exercises, perhaps he was right. I needed to start working on my body.


    I remained silent, not bothering to reply to him. Who knew what weird response he would have to my reply. I focused on getting my breathing normal.


    "Are you angry anymore?" Eshan asked after a silence of a couple of minutes.


    I considered his question before answering. I didn''t want to be hasty in replying. I searched in my heart for the answer. I then realized I was never angry rather I was hurt. The hurt caused anger. The root issue was hurt because of the things they hid from me, because of the lies they spoke to me.


    However, after going through Mom''s message and Eshan''s explanation, I found it easy to forgive them. That did not mean I was going to accept it every time. No, and I had made it clear to him, and I was going to do it once more.


    "No," I responded. "I was hurt, never angry."


    "Hmm." Eshan stopped swaying us. His hand on my waist firmly pressed against my side, and I found myself raising my head at his sudden action.


    "I promise, I would not hide truth again," Eshan promised as his dark eyes lingered on my face seriously. I nodded my head in satisfaction. I wanted that promise from him. It was good that he was being attentive enough.


    "I¡ª"


    My sentence was cut short when my stomach growled. I realized that I had not eaten for a very long time. We had our breakfast at nine o''clock in the morning. After that, things kept happening when Arjun arrived. When he left, I did not realize, but around seven hours had passed, and both of us forgot our lunch.


    "I''ll just prepare our lunch," I told him as I started pulling away.


    "No, I''ll do it," Eshan denied and wrapped both of his hands around me, caging me in his arms.


    "How about both of us do? We''ll finish it soon that way," I offered, knowing there was no way he would allow me to do it on my own. My stomach was in urgent need of food as not having anything for so long was causing cramps to appear.


    Eshan seemed to be contemplating my words, while in truth I knew he had long agreed to it. However, watching his serious face as if he was taking some important decision, was too satisfying. It looked like I was getting lost again. I should rather focus on feeding my stomach than my eyes.


    "Okay," he replied and slowly pulled away from his hands from around me with great reluctance. I smiled at his behavior.


    We then moved to the kitchen for sorting some quick dinner as the evening approached.


    "How about brinjal curry and roti?" I asked him after taking out brinjals and tomatoes from the refrigerator.


    "Fine with me," Eshan replied after he washed his hands.


    I started washing the vegetables. Eshan pulled out pan and spatula from the drawers and kept them on the cooktop.


    After he was done with it, he came beside me. "Let me chop it," he said taking the knife from the knife stand. "And, first have this apple juice before this." He handed me a glass of apple juice.


    I knew there was no point in denying him. So, I silently accepted the glass from his hand. I remembered that I needed wheat flour, and the container was kept at the upper shelf. I needed Eshan''s help as it was heavy, and after the intense make out we had just now, I didn''t trust my strength anymore.


    "Eshan, please help me take the container from the upper shelf," I asked him as I placed the glass on the counter.


    "Alright." Eshan walked to the other side of the kitchen where containers were kept.


    I also followed him, wanting to help him. However, just when I took a step forward and raised my head, I felt my head spinning. Suddenly everything went blank, and before I could realize what was happening, I lost control over my body.


    * * *


    * * *


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    * * *

 Chapter 130 - Her Hemoglobin Was 6.9.

    |Eshan|


    After placing Innaya on the bed, I left our bedroom to bring our dinner. While making beetroot soup, I had prepared the dinner. I would have to reheat the curry and till then I would quickly make some roti. She was hungry before she fainted, and instead of giving her food I just brought soup for her. How could I be so dense?


    Focussed on her low hemoglobin, I forgot everything. It was given though, I tended to forget things when it came to Innaya.


    Once I climbed down the stairs and reached the living room, Fortune ran over to me. It seemed like he forgave me easily for the earlier stern behavior of mine.


    What to do? He was trying to get the attention of my wife and made her laugh too. While all I seemed to do was make her cry.


    "What? What are you searching for? My wife?" I asked him when I noticed him craning his head and looking past me as if he was searching for my wife.


    "You¡ª" ''This wife stealer!'' I held his face in my hands as I rubbed his cheeks with my thumb."Stay away from her couple of days, buddy. She''s afraid of you because of some vile woman. Don''t scare her, will you?" I talked to him.


    The doctor said about keeping her stress free, and if Fortune stayed around her, tried to get close to her, then her stress was bound to increase. It was better to be safe than sorry. So, unfortunately, Fortune would need to stay away from her.


    Fortune''s face fell and he whined.


    It appeared as if he did not want to stay away from my wife. "Woof, woof. Woof, woof, woof," he then barked at me. "Woof, woof, woof." I knew he was getting mad as well as sad for being told off. I was helpless too. I could not upset him, and at the same time, I could not take any risk with Innaya.


    He rubbed his head against my head, whining as he did so. "Be a good boy. It''s just a matter of a couple of days. Then you can play with her," I cajoled him because other than that I did not see any way to console him.


    Fortune quietly laid near my legs. I rubbed his head, feeling sad for him. He was my first baby. I looked after him for days and nights, playing with him, feeding him, taking care of him. I could not separate myself from him.


    Whenever I had missed Innaya, I would talk about her before


    Fortune. Perhaps that was why he seemed to be in so much love with Innaya. As if he had an understanding that the woman his owner talked about was no one else but the one he saw. I truly admired his senses.


    It was a good thing that Arjun left him with us. Maybe, he could be a great help in reducing Innaya''s stress.


    Before leaving him with his food and toys, I switched on the television and played some dog shows for him. When he was with me, he loved to watch them. Hopefully, his preferences might not have changed.


    I stood up and moved towards the kitchen. When I passed by the dining, my eyes fell on the fallen chair on the ground. My lips automatically curved in a smile as I remembered the passionate moment we had shared. Changing my direction, I bent down to pick it up. Picking it up, I placed it back in its position. I then went to the kitchen to sort out everything quickly so that I could return to my wife as soon as possible.


    * * *


    After we had our dinner, we moved to the bed. The next couple of hours were spent in me cuddling her closer, and just whispering sweet nothing in her ears. Somehow, I just wanted her to feel better and having her smiling so beautifully in front of me let me know that my every effort was worth it.


    "Innaya." I sat up as I suddenly remembered that I needed to talk to her. "How have been your periods lately? Has the flow been more than it should have been?"


    I watched the color of Innaya''s face changing as soon as she heard me, and I was left wondering if she was not comfortable enough in sharing her intimate details with me. We had never really discussed the same.


    I wanted to know her opinion. "Should I not have asked that? Um, it''s okay if you don''t want to-" Before I could say anything more, Innaya interrupted me.


    "It''s nothing of that sort, Eshan. You are right. I have lost a lot of blood in my recent periods," she answered but there was little hesitancy in it.


    She did not even ask me how I had an idea, and I was glad that she did not. It would have just pushed me lower in my guilt zone.


    My phone buzzed, and it was the WhatsApp message from the pathology Innaya''s blood sample was sent in. I hurriedly opened the chat and waited for the image to load, and once it loaded, my heart sank.


    Her hemoglobin was 6.9.


    6.9.


    I read it over and over, again and again, fixing my gaze on that number to confirm that it was actually 6.9.


    Damn. Damn. Damn it.


    "We have to go to Dr. Mittal''s clinic," I announced while pushing the phone in my pocket as I started getting out of the bed.


    Innaya''s eyes were staring at me for a really long while, but she did not speak a word. I could not understand what she was trying to figure out, but I knew that she was looking up to me to get answers to her curiosity about what it was that had me panic so much.


    * * *


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    * * *

 Chapter 131 - Youll Never Lose Me Eshan

    | Innaya |


    I grew nervous seeing Eshan''s face acquiring those stressful stretches. "What is it, Eshan?" I held on to his hand, raising my brows at him. What was so wrong that left him so worried?


    "Your hemoglobin... it is 6.9." He sighed.


    "Oh, oh," I could only respond with that. I was so occupied by the stuff life threw at me that I did not give any attention to my health.


    The symptoms were present, but I chose to ignore them. I chose to ignore the mild fainting sensations. I chose to ignore how quickly I would get tired lately. I chose to ignore the shortness of breath. I chose to ignore the bad headache that would visit me every now and then.


    Sigh. I should have seen it coming. It was a fault on my end, but Eshan was blaming himself for the same when he had no role in it. I should have been more careful about my health.


    "Eshan. You need to get this thing clear that this... is not your fault, okay?" I had to assure Eshan and protect him from blaming himself for something he had nothing to do with.


    He averted his gaze from me and looked at the side. "It is my fault," he adamantly whispered, refusing to accept my words.


    I cupped his right cheek. "Look at me. Look at me, Eshan." Circling my arms around his neck, I pulled him in my embrace to provide him the much-needed comfort. I knew my touch was soothing to his heart. I knew it, and I knew that he knew it too.


    "You are never going to lose me, Eshan. Never. Are you hearing me?" I shushed him like a kid as I felt his rapid heartbeats. His heart was racing insanely. The kind of stress that he had taken just because of something as petty as my low hemoglobin amazed me. Perhaps, it was not that petty for him, but then again, it was not something deadly enough to get so worked up over.


    He was treating such a small illness like it was a life-threatening one, but then that was how my Eshan was. His love always overwhelmed me. It always did.


    Have you ever felt this beautiful feeling? This beautiful feeling to have someone who loves you so much? This beautiful feeling to have someone who cares for you so much? This beautiful feeling to have someone to whom your very existence is precious to the extent where he would be bothered by even a scratch on you? This beautiful feeling to have someone who would fight with everyone for your dignity? This beautiful feeling to have someone who would move earth and heaven just for the sake of your one smile?


    Have you ever felt this beautiful feeling?


    I had never experienced such feelings. However, with Eshan''s entry into my life, I was slowly getting acquainted with them. I never knew, how satisfyingly happy someone could make me. With Eshan, I was loving how my life was changing.


    I felt him nod against my back, and I involuntarily smiled. "It''s just the hemoglobin, Eshan. I would have supplements and the levels would rise in no time. Trust me," I said, snuggling closer in his warmth.


    "They have to rise. I would take care of everything now. I will decide what you will eat and what you will not, but for now, let''s go. We have to visit Dr. Mittal now." He broke the hug and quickly stood up, helping me to stand as well.


    "I will wait outside if you need to change. Do you?" He asked, and I moved my head upside down in agreement. I was just in my gown. I was not feeling too well in the morning after Arjun left, so I had chosen to wear a simple gown rather than the outfits that needed my energy.


    "Okay, wait here." He walked up to the closet and took out a simple Salwar Suit before he handed it to me. "I am just outside. Call me if you need anything."


    A bright smile appeared on my face as I could not help but feel touched by his concern. After assuring and reassuring him that I would let him know if I needed him, he went outside, and I quickly discarded my gown and slipped into the Salwar Suit.


    *


    "You look so pale," he murmured when we were almost out of the home. There was a tinge of guilt in his voice that I truly and absolutely hated. I would have to find a way to bring him out of his self-blaming attitude, I mentally noted.


    "Your eyes are not working. Look at me again. I am glowing," I slipped my arm around his elbow, looking at him lovingly, "because of your love."


    A sweet smile crept over his lips after a really long while with my words, and I was so satisfied. Sometimes, my husband needed the love he often showered over me, and I was no longer hesitant in expressing that to him.


    "Oh damn. I forgot to take the water bottle. You sit in the car. I will just be back," he asked me to head towards the car while he would bring water for me. Mr. Mittal''s clinic was not too far. He had informed me that we were going to his clinic but Eshan, being Eshan, wanted to keep everything ready.


    I could never get enough of how caring and thoughtful he always was. I often wondered how that was even humanly possible to be as wonderful as he was.


    Mrs. Innaya Eshan Singhaniya. I considered myself absolutely lucky and fortunate to be Mrs. Innaya Eshan Singhaniya. In the world full of fa?ade people create, in the world where pretense is no huge thing, in the world even a relationship you have had for years before marriage turns out abusive and toxic after marriage, in the world where people¡­ change¡­ and turn out as the opposite of the image they have shown you ¨C having Eshan as my companion was everything I could have ever asked for.


    The chain of my thoughts was broken by his footsteps that fell in my ears, and I looked in the forward direction and spotted his figure advancing towards me with a bottle in his hand and small Tiffin box in another one.


    "You are still standing here? I told you to sit in the car, no?"


    I smiled as I heard him. He did not want me to stand for longer and get tired even though it had been just five minutes. "What did you bring?" I asked, pointing at the Tiffin box in his hand.


    He came closer, handed me the water bottle to hold, and opened the lid of the Tiffin box for me.


    I was momentarily in a daze as my eyes stared at those apple slices in the Tiffin box before I looked up at him. My vision was blurred by the thin layer of tears that had brimmed in my eyes.


    *

 Chapter 132 - Argh! My Life...

    |Innaya|


    I blinked my eyes repeatedly to send back those tears. It was not s time to feel emotional. I wondered why his little action such as bringing apple slices, made me feel touched. It was no big deal yet.


    Perhaps it revived my memory with Grandpa. Back then, whenever I needed to visit hospitals or clinics, grandpa would carry a lunch box with apple slices. If we had to wait, he would never let me wait in the lobby for our number, rather we would sit in our car, with me having those slices.


    Eshan''s knowledge about me and my habits could not be doubted. He must have known it too. However, it oddly made me feel his sincerity rather than feeling stalked.


    "What''s wrong?" Eshan asked as he put back the lid on the Tiffin.


    I shook my head in denial. I doubted if I spoke, he would know the truth from my voice. So, I smiled at him, turned around as I wiped the treacherous tear that escaped through my eye, and took the passenger seat in the car.


    Eshan stood there bewildered. Soon, he gained control over his thoughts when his mobile rang.


    Through the glass of the car''s window, I watched his tall figure busy in conversing. His eyes never left mine, and that small gesture of his made something warm spread in my chest.


    The skies were darkening as evening approached. I didn''t realize how the day passed so swiftly. Daylight was slowly dimming away as the sun embarked on his journey towards the horizon.


    Under the setting sun, Eshan''s tall figure looked imposing. I would never get enough of his different shades, and I would never be able to stop my heart from racing at every sight of his. I sighed as I pulled the reins of my widely beating heart.


    Where we had plans of going out and enjoying our day out, and where we have to visit the hospital. ''Argh! My life!''


    Eshan seemed to be done with his talking. He approached my side and pulled open the door of the car. Bending to my level, he said, "Tesoro, we don''t need to go to the hospital anymore. It was Dr. Mittal. He said we can visit him at his home only. It''s just a couple of blocks away."


    *


    I looked around at the spacious and cozy villa. After Eshan told me about the change in plans, we changed our route, and within five minutes, we''d reached our destination.


    "Let''s go," Eshan whispered as he interlocked his fingers with mine. I gazed at his face when his fingers found the gap and perfectly fit in mine.


    I nodded. We made our way inside of Dr. Mittal''s residence.


    Eshan squeezed my palm as we reached the living room. Eshan actually understood that I felt uncomfortable with the mention of hospitals and doctors. Trauma could not be forgotten so easily. That week-long stay in the hospital still sent shudders through my spine.


    I did not know why, but I remembered every little detail of that period along with the rude hospital staff. They played a major role in increasing my fears toward hospitals.


    "There you are. Come, come inside," A cheerful voice greeted us. A man in his A man in his late forties with slightly greying hair walked towards us, welcoming us with a cheerful smile. His smile could make anyone comfortable. He had that warm aura around him, that eased people''s hearts.


    "Hello, Dr. Mittal. Thank you for having us," Eshan greeted him. He also indirectly told me that the person before us was the doctor we were meeting.


    "Cut down formalities, Eshan." Dr. Mittal waved his hand as he brushed off Eshan''s words. His brown eyes from behind the glasses he wore, met with mine. "Hello, Innaya. How are you feeling now?"


    I frowned at the familiarity in his voice.


    Had we met before?


    "You were unconscious when he visited our home," Eshan explained.


    I felt so stupid to not realize it. It was so obvious, yet me being the tube light, I didn''t get the simple thing.


    "Oh. Hello Sir. Thank you. I''m feeling much better now. It''s nothing, Eshan is just too worried. Sorry for troubling you," I answered as a smile of embarrassment appeared across my lips.


    I knew how much worked up Eshan could get when it concerned me. When I was unconscious, I could only imagine what Eshan had done. He must have troubled the poor doctor with countless questions. He often did that without realizing it.


    "He''s not worried in vain, young lady. You''re his wife. Of course, he would be worried about your health. Nowadays, we don''t see husbands being so concerned and thoughtful about their wives. You are one lucky girl," Dr. Mittal said as he patted Eshan''s shoulder.


    I could not agree more to him. He was absolutely right with his words. I had seen how the husbands behaved with their wives. In some homes, women were treated as a commodity, even in this twenty-first century. The equality people talked in marriage was still a farfetched dream in reality. It was saddening, and the worst part was women did not care about it. They got used to it over the period and started accepting it as their fates.


    Having Eshan as my husband was the best thing happening to me. He was the best husband, and man in this world.


    "I''ve gotten her reports. And, as I suspected, it''s the case of low hemoglobin. You should take care of your health, Innaya," Dr. Mittal said once we all settled in the living room.


    Sitting beside Eshan as I watched Dr. Mittal explain more about my weakness and low HB, I thought we were back to the second day after our marriage. In Bangalore also, he took me to the doctor, he knew. They both teamed up and had me take that injection.


    This time I was not going to get in their sweet talks. There were many home remedies along with supplements and tablets, that could help me in increasing my hemoglobin levels. If properly paid attention, then it was not that big deal to increase HB, given that there were no underlying causes behind the fallen HB.


    ***


    * * *


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    * * *

 Chapter 133 - Ive Physical Scars Too...

    || Innaya ||


    We returned from Dr. Mittal''s home after spending almost two hours at his place. He was so kind-hearted that he did not let us leave without having the dinner at the place. Despite my protests, and telling him that we just had our late lunch, he insisted. Giving in to his insistence, we ended up having our dinner. He had told many things and in the end, he even referred me to the gynecologist.


    When we left his place, Eshan wanted to take me to the gynecologist, but I refused him. I''d just been to the hospital when Karan kidnapped me. I didn''t want to be in that zone again. Eshan agreed. I knew it was not for very long. He would soon insist on visiting her. The tablets, tonics, prescribed by Dr. Mittal were not enough for him.


    I sighed as I stared at the stars in the sky. Holding the cold railings under my palms, I thought about the past couple of days and things that had happened so far. My peaceful life once again had been thrown into chaos, and I didn''t know why. I could only deal with it. However, when I thought about what Eshan had gone through because of me, I could not help but get sad. He did not deserve it, yet he got pulled into it.


    "What are you thinking about?" Eshan''s voice trailed in the otherwise silent night before pair of hands encircled me from behind, his warm breath tickling my neck. I leaned back in the warmth of his body, sighing contently.


    ''Shall I ask him? Maybe yes or maybe no. Argh!''


    Until I try it, how would I know the consequences? But, what if things went south again? There, there was that doubt again. The possibility, that what I was thinking to ask him regarding my past would create misunderstanding again. What was I to do then? There were some things that I had not told him yesterday. It was not intentional. I actually forgot about it after recalling so many things.


    I should have asked him about it. It was not that late now, too. Maybe, I should ask him. In the afternoon, things got clear when I asked about it. Maybe, I should give it try and ask him.


    "Doesn''t my PTSD bother you?"


    There, I asked it. The question, that bothered me for very long. Had it been earlier Innaya, she would not have dared, but surprisingly I longed to know, not dwelling about the answers I could get.


    He nuzzled his head in the crook of my neck.


    What was he doing? Instead of ''yes'' or ''no''- or the anger as I was expecting, he seemed pretty calm and collected. Stiffening of his body or sudden withdrawal from me or even reprimanding for asking such a question¡ª nothing. He actually did not react for a good amount of time.


    Maybe he did not hear, but I asked the question, didn''t I?


    Eshan slowly spun me around in his arms. Pushing me against the railing, he placed his hands on both sides of me, effectively trapping me, not that I was running away. The cold air nipped at my bare skin, and through the pajamas, I wore I shivered.


    ''Who stands outside at midnight?'' My sane mind taunted, but then again I do. I have always enjoyed or rather found comfort in the brume. The outer fog helped me to forget the one inside me. I shivered as cool metal pressed against my clothed back. The heat radiating from his body and the chilliness of the growing night was stark contrasting. I found myself seeking his warmth rather than the cold I have always preferred.


    Inching closer, I wrapped my arms around him, desperately hoping he would say something rather than looking at me with those dark eyes. As if he knew exactly what was running in my head or in my heart for that matter.


    ''That''s not possible, is it?''


    Eshan spun us again, and now it was he, who leaned against the railing and I was leaning on him or in him. Earlier, I had not noticed, but as I now pressed my head against his strong chest, I felt the soft fabric of his blue pullover. Soft and warm, both at the same time and needless to say, the blue fabric that sat snug on his upper half, complimented him in a rather enticing manner.


    "Why do you ask so?"


    ''Oh, so he heard. Why take so long?'' The silence was the only answer he got from me. I had my share of insecurities and this was one of them. Fear of Eshan being tired of me, tired of being there for me in my hard times. I shrugged.


    His fingers slowly worked on the braid I had made and opened my hair. The dark traces provided more warmth as they covered my whole back. His love, adoration, admiration towards my hair was something I found amusing. It appeared to me that playing with them was his favorite hobby. He ran his long fingers through them, sometimes caressing, sometimes lifting them, or sometimes simply feeling them.


    "Does it bother you?" He softly inquired.


    ''It does.'' I wanted to reply but I couldn''t. Closing my eyes seemed a better option and I did. The storm of emotions in his eyes always unsettled me and the unconditional love in them could calm any distress I have. Finding that love in the pool of molten honey was never difficult, and the intensity sometimes scared me. How could he love me with such abundance and that too for so long?


    The pad of his finger softly caressed my cheek, his palm cupping almost half of my face.


    "No. Neither your past bothers me nor does your, PTSD."


    The declaration was not sudden. It was done after taking the owner''s precious time, and somewhere for a fleeting moment, this thought warmed my insides. His instant denial would not have made me this happy. Yet there was a flicker of doubt lingering in the back of my mind. Why wouldn''t it bother him?


    "Why?" I tugged at the fabric slightly before tucking my head under his chin. His long fingers never ceased the caressing.


    "Why it should?"


    Because I am damaged, and you could do a lot better without my baggage or me?


    "Just because you have¡ª emotional scars?" he answered his own question with another one.


    "I have physical scar too," I blurted out in low tone before I could stop myself. The damage was done without me even realizing it.


    *


    Check out the A/N below:

 Chapter 134 - Did that b*****d, abuse you physically?

    |Innaya|


    We have never been that intimate, we kissed, but that was it. The intimacy between us was more on an emotional level rather than the physical aspect. So, he never knew about that scar. So, this was the first time he was told about it. I waited for him to say something as I nervously listened to the beating of his heart.


    Instead of any response, Eshan gripped my neck and forced my head backward, though his hold was not rough but not gentle either. My hand going to my neck, the hair that was pulled up hurt my scalp.


    "What do you mean?" Gone was the warm, loving emotions from his eyes and the freezing coldness greeted me. His hold did not loosen, and he seemed to be not realizing his actions were hurting me.


    When my hand met his wrist, Eshan''s eyes widened. He pulled back


    his hand and I rubbed my neck.


    ''Do I explain?''


    ''Better, I show him. However, what will he think?'' Those thoughts were putting me in a dilemma. Pushing those thoughts away, I made my decision.


    I turned my back on him. Out of nowhere, his hand shot out grabbing my arm. A little forceful tug and I were whirled on my feet, facing the cold fury that radiated from him.


    "You aren''t going anywhere before answering me." For the first time I shivered from the murderous aura, he gave off. His eyes blazed with the fire, as he gritted his teeth, "Did that... b*****d, abuse you physically?" I knew how hard it was for him to say those words. His struggle was visible on his face and in those dark orbs were the unhidden pain.


    "I am showing you. I am not going anywhere," I replied, ignoring the other half on his sentence and ignoring the pain that his tight grip was causing.


    His cold mask dropped as soon as words were out. I could see the instant regret on his face; before he could apologize, I turned again. This time, he did not interrupt. However, I had caught the sight of his tightly balled fists on either side.


    I swept my hair on my left shoulder and before my mind could change my decision, I pulled up the pajama top and let it bunched near my neck. The black camisole underneath stayed, covering most of my back, but it was deep and wide enough for him to have a clear view.


    Unsure if he could see in the moonlight, the scar that started from the corner of my right shoulder and ended in the middle of my back, I was about to drop the top. The sharp intake of breath following my action halted me.


    He saw.


    Eshan saw that scar.


    My heart galloped in my chest wildly. This was me at my most vulnerable. Yes, I was not fully bare¡ª bodily, but my soul was. The silence only stretched further, and so did my nervousness.


    Why was he so quiet?


    Although the scar had faded over the years, it was still there.


    The mountain of questions only increased with the growing silence. They were burdening me, and the weight of them was the one I could not bear. The moisture pooled in my eyes, but it did not roll off as if tears were arrested in my eyes.


    My limp arms fell on my sides, thus leaving the fabric to drop. I wanted to run away. The silent torture was getting too much to bear.


    I almost broke into the run as moved away from him and in the bedroom. His silence was the answer, and it hurt like a hell, knowing he found it ugly.


    Somehow, I found myself lying under the warm blanket covered from head to toe on my stomach, clutching the pillow tightly. The emptiness was what I felt as I closed my eyes even though I couldn''t see anything before, owing to the little cloud of darkness I had buried myself in.


    It must have been minutes or hours, but as time passed by, the cloud of insecurities only darkened. The gloominess I had not felt in a long time was only gripping my heart, and the silence I received from Eshan just broke the hope building in my heart. The hope that we would be together, nothing would matter. However, I was wrong, so wrong. No one would prefer a scarred partner.


    Somehow lost in the whirlwind of my own messed up emotions, I forgot to notice the presence of another person in the very same room. The startled scream was about to leave my lips, but I was too shocked when suddenly the covers were ripped off, and I was hauled in a sitting position¡ª oh, no. Not in a sitting position, I was in Eshan''s lap. Eshan somehow had managed to lift me as if I weighed nothing and settled into his lap.


    His arms came around and held onto me tightly, and I could do nothing but hold back.


    Why?


    Because over time, his hugs have become my safe haven. The feeling of security and safety his embrace provided was not actually possible for me to explain as well as understand.


    "Innaya," Eshan chokingly whispered in my ear as I hid under his chin. His one-word explained everything as it carried his every emotion and surprisingly proved his intentions and reason behind his silence. I did not need more words or explanations.


    His hand came around my neck and pulling my head back, next thing I knew was the pair of molten honey orbs gazing at me with all the love and admiration, and the warm lips that descended on mine after a moment of silence. I could feel his desperation, his apology, his love with the way he clung to me.


    His lips steadily traced the skin before persistently demanding further access. The warmness started growing in my heart, which eventually seeped in my whole being consuming all the heartache I felt before, only leaving blissful tingles in its wake.


    *


    I request that please check out my entry for WPC contest 99: Titled as> Acceptance- Learning To Let Go Of The Past. I only have 40 power stones so far for it. Until the contest is running i.e. for 8 more days, you can vote for it instead of this novel and leave a review on it if possible.

 Chapter 135 - Panic Attack

    |Innaya|


    No one liked to wake up to the news of visiting the hospital. I certainly did not. After last night''s events, I thought Eshan had forgotten about taking me to the doctor temporarily. So, when he woke me up while being extremely bold with his hands only to tell me that we needed to hurry, my mood was ruined.


    I stared at his handsome face and his slightly damp hair. He had even taken a bath. I wondered for how long he had been awake. My sleepy mind still refused to process what was happening.


    "What time is it?" I sleepily asked him, but then my sleep vanished when I felt a movement across my stomach. My hand instinctively holding onto his hand that was wandering across my stomach and waist over the comforter.


    I looked at him who was seated beside me while I was still under the soft comforter. Eshan abruptly leaned down, and my eyes flew open, not sleepy anymore when he skimmed his nose along the skin of my cheek.


    "It''s 10 in the morning." His low voice came out muffled against my skin as his lips pressed against my earlobe.


    "W-what are you doing?" I stammered unable to bear the surging reaction of my body towards his actions. Was I dreaming? When did Eshan become so bold? One moment he told me to hurry up for visiting the gynecologist, and in the next moment he was being so¡ª passionate.


    Instead of replying to me, Eshan pulled me in a sitting position along with himself. "What¡ª" Before I could react, he had turned me around. His hands now worked on lifting the top of my pajamas upwards from my back.


    "Eshan?" I called out his name as I immediately stilled and then reached out to hold his hand to stop him. What was he trying to do?


    My heartbeat quickened. My sleepy mind was not able to fully comprehend the situation. It happened so suddenly. I was sleeping soundly, and the next thing I knew was Eshan''s unexpected behavior.


    As we were still on the bed and he had abruptly pulled me, the comforter pooled near my waist around my front. I raised my head, catching Eshan''s gaze in the mirror across us near the wall at the opposite side of the bed.


    His dark eyes looked at me with emotions that made me shiver under his gaze.


    His other hand loosened my hand that was stopping him from doing god knows what he wanted to do. I could only watch as he placed my hand by my side and holding my gaze, he lifted my top slowly and then he hoisted it completely from the back till my shoulders and held the fabric near my neck.


    I clutched the comforter at my front and raised it till my neck reflexively. I truly did not understand his intentions, but I knew he wouldn''t do anything that would make me uncomfortable. I trusted him that much. However, I could not help but feel anxious.


    The morning light filled the room and unlike yesterday, everything was visible clearly. Showing him my scar in the dim light did not feel so nerve-wracking. Mustering courage to bare my wounds before him was what I did yesterday, yet just a night had passed and could not bear to do it again.


    "Tell me if you feel uncomfortable," Eshan said as his fingers reached out for my camisole. His eyes never left mine, and I started getting what he wanted. He wanted to take a look at that scar without the camisole hindering his gaze. That would mean, showing him my bare back. I had never even worn a backless dress ever, so being that way before his eyes¡­ Was I ready for it?


    I held his gaze and nodded after thinking for a couple of seconds. One day or another, he was going to see all of me. So, this could be considered nothing compared to it. I let him do what he wanted. It was not like I had something to hide from him. No, I''d told him and shown him most of the things.


    Eshan''s fingers graze my spine and then trailed upwards taking the helm of camisole in them, leaving my back bare for his eyes. His drifting fingertips made my skin shiver, leaving a burning trail in their wake. I could hardly feel anything except the way my body was reacting to Eshan''s unintentional caresses. Were they truly unintentional? I did not know.


    My fingers tighten on the comforter clutched in my fist. Who knew, my morning would turn this way? Eshan''s actions were truly getting unpredictable for me. With a slow torturous pace, my husband finally accomplished his mission of removing my camisole. My camisole now accompanied my top at my neck.


    I watched when Eshan''s eyes broke our contact, and they moved across my back. I could only assume that they were now moving over the ugly mark left behind by my father.


    I had avoided looking at that mark for very long. It would remind me of that time when I had gotten it, along with the pain and endless cries of help I had made.


    Suddenly, everything was getting back at me, and it was not even in my hands. I could feel my mind going back in that zone where I could see my childhood self running away, trying to avoid my father''s attack. He had been so scary that evening that his face filled with madness still haunted me. My cheeks had throbbed with the pain because of the slaps he had bestowed upon me, and my legs were on the verge of collapsing because of the belt he had used on them.


    My mind conjured those images from my past. It started running like a movie scene before my eyes. My father had picked up the kitchen knife. When I was about the run out of my house, he had jumped across and slashed my back. The place where bare nails had scraped against my skin when he had thrown me across the wall was torn open because of the sharp knife.


    He had not cared about the fact that the one he was hurting was his own blood, his child, an innocent, harmless child. He had pounced on me, strangling my neck.


    I could feel my body growing cold as I was pulled into that memory. It had been so long that I had recalled that day. Suddenly, it was not memory anymore, but I started feeling pressure on my neck as if he was back. As if my father was strangling me, wanting to push me towards my death. Those red eyes, filled with immense hatred were glaring at me.


    "You need to die. I''ll kill you. You don''t deserve to live." His voice echoed in my ears from that evening of fifteen years ago.


    Everything around me disappeared. My eyes went wide as I started choking. I desperately wriggled. I wanted to get out of his reach. I could not breathe. My hands shook as I brought them to my neck to loosen my father''s death grip. As if thousands of bugs were crawling on my body, I felt that disgusted.


    Tears blinded my vision. I wanted to cry. I wanted to call someone for help, but nothing. I could not make any sound. That helplessness was again making me feel pathetic. I could feel my mind preparing to shut itself. The panic attack had kicked in. I knew it, the worst part was, I could not do anything.


    ***

 Chapter 136 - She Wasnt Breathing

    |Eshan|


    Last night when Innaya opened up little about her insecurities, I wondered how much more she was holding in. When she showed me her scar, my mind had stopped working. I could not believe how cruel her father was. My eyes froze on that scar. I had every intention of hunting that bastard and make him pay for his every crime.


    I could not fall asleep. For most of the night, I only held onto the woman in my arm. She slept soundly, wrapped around me. I spent my night looking at her innocent face. How could someone have the heart to hurt her?


    The mere imagination of what she had gone through for years was unsettling. I wanted to help her. I would do everything to make her forget about that worst period of her life. At that time I decided to take her to the hospital. Neglecting her health might result in some complications and I did not want that.


    However, I did not know what came over me. After waking her up, I wanted to see that scar. The urge to see it was too intense to ignore. I gave in my urge and proceeded with it. I took her consent. I would never make her uncomfortable; hence I gave her the chance to decide and she agreed. Without questioning me, Innaya gave me permission silently. Her blind trust was overwhelming.


    When I lifted her top and camisole, just like last night, I froze seeing that long scar against her ivory skin. I dared not imagine how painful, it would have been for her. My heart throbbed with pain. My fingers longed to touch that scar, but I held back at the last moment.


    I knew the wound had healed long ago. Touching it wouldn''t cause her any pain, but I could not bring myself to touch it. My fingers lingered across her skin in the air.


    I raised my head, looking at Innaya through the mirror.


    Immediately I left her top and camisole when I saw her condition. Her face had turned purple. Her nails were clawing on her throat. Her face was ghastly pale. It did not take me long to realize that she was having a panic attack.


    I held her and made her lie down as I pulled her hands that were harming her. In just a couple of minutes, I had failed to notice her, lost in looking at that scar.


    "Innaya," I called out her name, but her hazy eyes did not look at me.


    Her hands kept going back to her neck, and I did not understand the reason behind it. She was fine just a while ago. Then what exactly triggered her?


    I held onto both hands of hers, preventing her from getting hurt. With my free hand, I caressed her face, but she did not respond to me. She started gasping for air, choking at the same time.


    She suddenly went limp. Her mouth was tightly locked and her almond-shaped eyes were filled with fear.


    "Tesoro?"


    Why wasn''t she responding to me? It never happened except from that time two months ago. Her complexion turned worse. Placing my fingers under her nose, I panicked when I realized she wasn''t breathing. I rubbed her face, tried to get her to look at me.


    "Breathe damn it."


    I panicked when nothing was working. She was not responding to my voice, my touch. She did not seem to be in her senses. Watching her struggle, my eyes teared up. Her chest stopped moving because she was not breathing.


    Was she going in a shock?


    No.


    It was not time to get emotional.


    I toughened up myself. My wife needed me. I needed to make a decision. I needed a way to make Innaya respond.


    I leaned down and held her jaw. Pinching her nose, I pried open her mouth. Inhaling mouthful of air, I then bent down and started giving mouth to mouth respiration. That was the most basic and useful thing I could think at that moment.


    Getting worked up was only going to worsen the situation. I needed to calm down and handle Innaya more carefully. My heart was pounding in my chest. I feared if I was going to have an anxiety attack.


    After a couple of attempts, Innaya finally started breathing, but it was more rushed, panting kind of gasping. She had still not recovered her senses.


    Her unfocused eyes scared me.


    "Sweetheart, are you okay? Breathe, sweetheart. Innaya?" She did not respond to me. Her unresponsiveness was starting to make me anxious.


    "What should I do? What should I do?" I thought out aloud. My thoughts ran in every direction searching for ways to get Innaya out of her attack.


    "Water. Yes! Shower." I somewhere had read that showers helped in coping with a panic attack.


    I lifted her in my arms and rushed to the bathroom. I was going to try every way I knew. One of them would work. It had to work.


    Once inside the washroom, I placed Innaya on her feet, supporting her limp body with my own. Turning on the faucet, I stood with Innaya under the showerhead.


    Getting drenched under the warm water, I waited for Innaya to return to the normal...


    She still seemed to be trapped in some haunting memory. Was it related to her scar? Then why did she not have such an extreme reaction yesterday? She was emotional last night but she did not go in shock. I could not understand anything anymore.


    I caressed her cheek as I cupped her face in my left hand. With my right hand, I held her fragile body close to my chest. The water falling in both of us had long ago made our clothes stick to our bodies. Her long hair stuck to her face and on her back along with her clothes.


    Yet, it did not seem to be working. I removed those wet locks away from her face. Her statue-like condition was worrying me too much. Had I rushed her into something? Should I not have been so direct with my actions? Thinking about those questions was of no use. Time wasn''t going to reverse. Things weren''t going to change.


    I could only work on getting her to respond.


    I placed my forehead against Innaya''s as I helplessly hugged her. "Sorry. I''m sorry, sweetheart. Please, talk to me. Innaya? Darling? Please, tell me what it is? Tell me what''s bothering you so much?" I earnestly called out to her.


    My voice cracked, her unresponsiveness was truly terrifying. The water falling on me was obstructing my view.


    Suddenly Innaya gasped. Being so close to her, I could feel her heavy breaths. Her eyes were regaining their focus. Blinking her frightened eyes, her wet eyelashes fluttered. My heart fluttered too for she was finally showing response.


    I did not call out her name, neither did I say anything. I did not want to startle her. She had to get out of her that trap her memory had laid.


    Her almond-shaped brown eyes stared at me. I could see, she was still processing what went wrong. She was still in the middle of regaining control of her senses back.


    My hand went behind her head, cradling it securely as my left hand went lower on her back. Pulling her closer, despite deciding to give her time, I could not help but act otherwise.


    She was too precious for me. Watching her struggle had made me die down countless times. I could not bear to watch her in that state.


    This was the worst panic attack she had before my eyes. In the past wherever she suffered panic attacks, she would respond to me. My voice would reach out to her, even in those moments of despair. She would fight her way back out of those terrible moments. However, this time, it looked way too different. The intensity of her attack was too much too bear for her. I could also feel the difference.


    How was I meant to help her, when I could not even hold myself together after witnessing her in that state?


    "Eshan."


    Finally. Finally, I could breathe freely. She called out my name and that was when I broke down. I could not let her see me like that. I immediately buried my head in her shoulder, breathing deeply to control my tears.


    Those hot tears gathering in my eyes were of relief.


    I was relieved. She had broken out of that nightmare. My Innaya was not that weak. She had finally managed to take control back and shove away that nightmare away.


    I felt proud of her. At the same time, I felt guilty for putting her in that condition. Somewhere, I had been the reason for putting her through this.


    *

 Chapter 137 - How about I help you in changing?

    |Innaya|


    Numb.


    I could not feel my body anymore. All my senses had stopped working. I knew I needed to get out of this illusion. It was over. That nightmare was long over. It had been so many years to it. He was not coming back. Arjun had also mentioned that. He had told me that my father wasn''t coming back. Grandpa had also said that.


    I was safe.


    Grandpa had saved me.


    Grandpa had brought me back to life.


    I knew it. Yet, I could no longer shake away those cognitive distortive tricks my mind was playing with me.


    Grandpa, I needed him. I wanted him to chase away my demons, the way he had done from my childhood.


    My mind had stopped working long ago. I could see nothing but the face of my father closing on me as he strangled my neck.


    Then, I realized grandpa had left this world. He had left me with the man he trusted the most. Eshan, my husband. Where was he? Why was not he pushing away the man strangling his wife? What was he doing?


    I wanted to call him, but my father''s grip didn''t allow it.


    He was winning. I could see it, I could feel it. He was close to achieving his purpose. I was close to losing my senses as lack of oxygen made it difficult to remain conscious.


    Abruptly, the huge pressure from my neck was lifted off, but it was late. My father''s purpose was filled, my body stopped breathing. The last thing I saw was the way his lips curved in that gleeful sinister smile.


    *


    *


    *


    Cold.


    I shivered.


    Why?


    Why was it so cold?


    I gasped, my body suddenly reacting and greedily gulping down a mouthful of air. Thank god! I could finally breathe. I could finally see beyond my illusion. I had finally gotten out of the cage my memories had created.


    Against the pressing force of water, I blinked my eyes. The face of man, worried to the death, was looking at me with his forehead pressed against mine.


    Were those tears in his eyes?


    My eyes sought my husband''s face standing before me. He was dripping wet. Water droplets were cascading from his head to toe.


    Eshan suddenly leaned down and placed his head on my shoulder. He tightly hugged me.


    What happened to him?


    I ached to call his name, but my whole energy was drained. Even moving my arm felt a hard task, my throat also hurt.


    I squinted my eyes as I tried recalling how I ended up in the bathroom. We were in the bedroom, weren''t we? Eshan wanted to look at my scar. I had allowed him. Then what happened? How we ended up in the bathroom? Under the shower?


    Closing my eyes, I stayed in his arms. Thinking about those questions gave me a headache.


    Under the falling water, held in the embrace of the man who loved me dearly, had me feel safe. There were so many things going in my head. There were so many things I was skeptical about. However, once I felt Eshan''s warmth, I could finally relax.


    Being in his arms allowed me to recall what unfolded previously. After recollecting what led to my panic attack, I pondered why I reacted so extremely. What evoked so strong illusion that felt so real?


    There had to be the reason for such kind of strong panic attack.


    In all those years, my panic attacks had reduced gradually and they were controllable. After that phase of the panic attack would end, I was able to function normally, while coping with the aftereffects. Then what was different now?


    Eshan slowly lifted his head, and that halted my thought process. His eyes intensely gazed into mine, leaving me to wonder what was going on in his head.


    I did not know what had happened when I was having a panic attack. Eshan was left to deal with it, alone. I did not know how he must have reacted.


    "Are you okay?" Eshan asked as he caressed my cheek.


    I blinked my eyes. It was the only reaction I could give. Even nodding in response was not possible for my tired self to accomplish.


    Was it the aftermath of having a panic attack? I did not remember having such kind of reaction after any of my panic attack. Something was different this time. Something was awfully different.


    "Tired?" Eshan asked as his one hand reached behind me and turned off the shower. The water falling on us stopped, helping me to open my eyes easily.


    I sagged against his chest. I could not understand the reason behind my fatigue. Then, there was that penetrating cold too. Was water that cold? I shivered.


    "Do you feel cold?" Eshan brought me out of the shower cubicle towards the basin as he peered down at me.


    "Hmm..."


    I could not see him though as I had closed my eyes. I needed some time to recover. My whole body felt lethargic and if not for


    Eshan holding me, I would have crumpled on the ground long ago.


    "How about I help you in changing?"


    I did not understand what he was asking. I just hummed in response. "Hmm..." I felt my arms being raised.


    "Cold," I mumbled. My eyes fluttered when a sudden gust of cold air hit me. My teeth chattered.


    Through my barely opened eyes, I saw that a white towel was wrapped around my body, and Eshan was in the process of removing my clothes.


    What was he doing?


    I closed my eyes again. I did not know what was happening anymore. It was as if I was drugged, there was that strange heaviness in my head. I could not understand what was wrong with my body.


    "Cold." Then there was that damn cold. Winter was still not here, then why the hell such damn icy coldness was gracing me?


    "It''s almost done, sweetheart. Just a minute," Eshan spoke from somewhere close to me. By then, I had almost lost my awareness of my surroundings. I relied on my husband to take care of me.


    My brain seemed to have stopped working too.


    Even in my hazy state, I was aware when my feet left the ground. I thought I was going to fall.


    *

 Chapter 138 - Looking After Innaya

    |Eshan|


    Innaya was shivering badly. It was my fault. I was careless enough to not check the temperature. Instead of warm water because of my carelessness, we stood under the cold one.


    All I could think at that moment was to make Innaya respond. In that haste, I had not bothered about anything else. And, that was where I messed up.


    Innaya''s complexion turned worse. Her wet clothes clung to her body, her teeth were chattering. Her whole frame shook. She couldn''t keep her eyes open, and it looked as if she would collapse at any moment.


    Feeling relieved that she took my name, I had failed to notice her condition. I needed to work on paying more attention because lately, all I had been doing was to screw up things due to my negligence.


    She needed a change of clothes, urgently. Moreover, she needed a doctor. However, I didn''t think she could change in her current condition. She required help. And, apart from me, there was no one else to do the needful.


    I had to do it for her. Because staying in those wet clothes, or asking her to do it was out of the option.


    ''You are her husband. What are you thinking so hard? Just get her out of those wet clothes, you stupid.'' My mind taunted.


    I couldn''t refute it. Of course! I had to help her. But, then again, would I be making things awkward between us?


    ''You can worry about it later. What if she fell sick because of your dillydallying?''


    This time I made my decision. I could not afford to watch her fall sick because of my incompetence. I brought her out of the shower area towards the dry area near the washbasin, which soon turned wet because of the water dripping from our clothes and bodies.


    I pulled the towel from the shelf. Supporting Innaya on my left side,


    I held the towel in my right hand. I wrapped it around her head. Water dripped from her long dark traces. Handling those long hair with one hand seemed particularly difficult.


    I liked her long hair, but in the present situation, I thought it would have been great if they were short. I somehow managed to wrap them with the towel. After changing her into dry clothes I would need to dry them with the help of dryer. I could not let her stay with the wet hair.


    Innaya tiredly leaned against me. I took the second towel from the rack because I could not locate the bathrobe. I needed to change her clothes.


    Firming my resolve, I closed my eyes. I had to do it. I pulled Innaya in my arms with her back facing away from me. Fumbling with my hands as I put them under her wet pajama top, I somehow managed to wrap a towel around her upper back.


    I had to mindful of the places to avoid. She was not in her senses completely. So, it made things more problematic. Even though she was my legally wedded wife, I did not want to take advantage of her.


    In my opinion, physical intimacy between the couple depended on the consent of both the parties involved. Just because I was her husband, I did not get the right over her body. She had to agree to that. Innaya''s consent mattered. Right now, I did not have the one.


    I opened my eyes when I was sure that the towel was securely tied against her body. Innaya looked at me through her barely opened eyes. My heart jolted as her eyes trailed at her body. I did not know how was she was going to react to it. I had changed her clothes.


    Innaya raised her half-opened eyes at me. Instead of shock, anger or disappointment, I was taken aback with complete trust in her those slightly wet orbs. I felt compelled to not let her down. The gaze with which she looked at me before closing them, my whole being shaken.


    My hands holding onto her top trembled a little. I hurriedly pulled that wet top and camisole from her head as I raised her arms above her head. I should hurry up and call the doctor. At the same time, I needed to rush and provide her warmth.


    "Cold," Innaya mumbled.


    "It''s almost done, sweetheart. Just a minute," I answered her as I quickly removed her out of her remaining wet clothes. Her eyes shut down and she seemed to have fallen asleep. Was she unconscious? I could barely determine what was wrong with her.


    Picking her up in my arms, I left the bathroom. Reaching near the bed, I gently laid her down. Some water droplets fell on her face, and she stirred a bit. How foolish I was? I got her out of wet clothes, but I forgot to change mine.


    I quickly pulled away from her. Holding the end of the quilt from the foot of the bed, I pulled it over her body, covering her with it. I picked up my mobile from the bedside table as I dialed Dr. Mittal''s number. I hated to disturb him, but I could only think of him at the moment.


    I rushed to the wardrobe while I waited for him to answer. Unfastening the buttons of my wet white shirt, I opened the wardrobe. Getting out of my clothes, I dumped them on the floor in our bedroom. I even did not think of going inside the bathroom to change. I did not care about my nudity.


    "Hello, Eshan!" Dr. Mittal greeted as he answered the call.


    "Are you at home? Can you please come over? Innaya is not well. She had a panic attack. She''d stopped breathing for a while, and now she''s barely conscious," I rushed to tell him. I hoped he was at his home. I knew he would come over even if he was at his clinic, but he being at his home would save a lot of time.


    "Calm down, I''ll be there soon. Till then make her lie down on the plain surface and elevate her legs. Give her salt and sugar water. I''m on my way," he instructed, and in the background, I could hear the sound of things being moved.


    "Okay." I disconnected the call, throwing my mobile on the chair beside the wardrobe.


    I slipped into the bathrobe and strode back to the bed with another robe in my hand. It would be inconvenient to let her be in the towel as Dr. Mittal was coming over.


    I placed pillows underneath her feet. This time putting a bathrobe on her over that towel was not that difficult. Moreover, the quilt covering her also eased my worries. I could tell her that I did not see anything.


    *

 Chapter 139 - Should I share Innayas past without her consent?

    |Eshan|


    I''d just finished with putting a bathrobe on for Innaya when the doorbell rang. I did not wish to leave Innaya alone, but someone had to check who was at the door too. I was put in a tight spot. I did not wish for any visitor at the moment. If it were my friends at the door, then I certainly did not fancy to see them. I looked at Innaya''s face. She had suffered because of them. I wished that they were not here to create anymore scene.


    I would have to call back Amma soon. It would be better to have her around. There was one more truth I had concealed from her. Innaya did not know about Amma''s return. Amma had returned a month ago, and now was staying with Ayush. I did not know how was Innaya going to react after getting to know about it.


    Would she blame herself? She had a habit of unnecessarily worrying. It was not her fault, but my wife would not understand that easily.


    Things were bad between us at that time.


    It was Arjun who took matters in his hands and made arrangements for Amma at Ayush''s place. He could have taken Amma at his place if he did not have to look after Innaya. He did not want to worry Amma either. So, he did what he felt was right.


    I brought my hand near her face to caress her cheek. Her feverish skin greeted me. My eyes widened, she was running a high fever.


    When did it happen? She was fine beforehand. Last night I had held her in my arms, and in the morning also I had held her too. I would have gotten to know if she had a fever earlier. Did she break into fever because of her panic attack?


    My mobile rang along with the insistent doorbell. Fortune''s barks also sounded from the downstairs. I did not know what to do. I left Innaya''s side with a heavy heart, and I picked up my mobile from the chair. I almost ran out of the bedroom after taking that mobile with me. Rushing down the stairs, I answered the call not bothering to check who it was.


    "Hello?" I barked into the speaker. I was losing my control. I needed to calm down for my sanity.


    "Eshan, open the door. I''m waiting outside," the familiar calm voice of Dr. Mittal came through the speaker. I stared at the screen of my mobile pulling it away from my ear. "Sorry, I''m coming," I apologized as my tone mellowed down.


    Was he superman? How did he manage to appear so swiftly?


    Shrugging those thoughts about how he managed to reach so quickly, I immediately reached the door. Fortune also ran towards me, warily looking at the door.


    I did not have the time to comfort him. "Not now, buddy."


    I hurriedly opened the door. "Thank you for coming doc," I said once Dr. Mittal came before my eyes.


    "Where''s she? Let''s go," Dr. Mittal replied. He was in a serious mood. His eyes glanced around before they came to rest on Fortune, who suddenly started barking.


    "Woof, woof."


    "Fortune," I sternly called out his name as I patted on his head. Maybe, seeing the strange man with a black bag in his hands made him wary. Perhaps he sensed something was not right.


    "She''s upstairs, let''s go," I answered him.


    He nodded at me. I closed the door after Dr. Mittal entered inside.


    *


    I entered our bedroom first followed by Dr. Mittal. The first thing I did after entering was to rush to Innaya''s side. She was shivering. I was yet to dry her hair, they must be making her uncomfortable. She seemed unconscious but she was not.


    "Tell me in detail what happened," Dr. Mittal said as he placed his bag on the bed.


    I hesitated. Should I share Innaya''s past without her consent?


    "Eshan, you need to cooperate if you want me to help her," Dr. Mittal''s voice broke my reverie. I still could not decide if I should tell him or not. He had taken out a stethoscope from his bag.


    He sat beside Innaya when I did not reply.


    "Remove the duvet. I need to examine her," he ordered as he gave me time to do as he said.


    I picked up the duvet and lowered it to her waist. It was a good thing that I made her wear that bathrobe over that towel, otherwise, I knew, it would have been embarrassing for her.


    I knew my wife was not comfortable around the opposite gender. She maintained her distance from those whom she hardly knew. She never voiced it out, but her actions made it obvious.


    "Well, she has PTSD. I don''t think I''m the right person to tell you about it." I moved to the right side of Innaya as Dr. Mittal started checking her.


    He nodded after listening to me. He handed me the thermometer to check Innaya''s temperature.


    "Are these panic attacks regular? Yesterday she didn''t have a fever. Does she always get sick after that? Have she received any treatment for her PTSD?" He asked me many questions as he started checking her eyes.


    I placed the digital thermometer in her armpit and pressed her arm as I thought about how to answer his questions without revealing full details. His questions did not dwell deeper. I could answer them.


    "No, it happened only this time as far as I know. We''ll have to ask her about past events," I answered truthfully.


    "Everything was okay, but suddenly she started having a panic attack. She was clawing at her throat and before I could understand, her mouth was clamped and she had stopped breathing. I performed CPR on her, and it worked. However, she was still stuck. I had somewhere read that showers helped in handling panic attacks, so I made her stand under the shower," I recited the events from the morning in brief.


    This was the first time when she had such an extreme reaction. Looking at her closed eyes, pale and lifeless face something broke in my heart. The digital thermometer beeped, and I took out the thermometer, it read 102.6 ¡ãF.


    "It''s 102.6 ¡ãF," I gasped. How did she suddenly have such a high temperature?


    I pulled the quilt back over her upper body and covered her well. She was still shivering.


    "It might be because of her panic attack. We''ll have to wait for her to answer. I''ll give her an injection, now," Dr. Mittal replied as he prepared the syringe.


    ***

 Chapter 140 - Dr. Mittals Diagnosis

    |Eshan|


    "Eshan, do you know what triggered her panic attack?"


    When Dr. Mittal asked me about what could be the possible reason behind Innaya''s panic attack, I did not have an appropriate answer. I shook my head negatively.


    I caressed Innaya''s cheek. I knew she could not feel it, but I got reminded of her scared figure when she had to take that tetanus injection. At that time, I was unaware of the awful memory she had of hospitals and injections. I did not know that her father had almost killed her. Remembering what kind of cruel man she had as a father, I could not help but feel angry.


    Even after grandpa removed him from Innaya''s life, his cruelty was still haunting her. What kind of sick bastard was he to harm her? I still did not get why he did that to my wife. I felt there was something more to her past. When she had told me about her past, at that time also I had felt something wasn''t adding up.


    I silently moved my hand under the covers. Blindly searching for a bit, I found Innaya''s hand. Opening her fist, I weaved my fingers in hers and held onto it. I squeezed her palm.


    "Do you have something to support this saline bottle? I need to hook her up to the IV. It would be good for her with immediate effects."


    I noticed that alongside injection, he had taken our other things from his bag as well. He seemed to have come prepared. His thoughtfulness touched me. I needed to treat him more kindly for the help he was offering.


    "Let me see," I answered as I reluctantly left Innaya''s hand. I did not wish to be apart from her for a minute, but one must do what he had to do.


    "Would coat hanger stand work?" I asked feeling unsure. It was the only thing that came to my mind as I searched for a possible alternative for the saline stand.


    He adjusted his spectacles as he raised his head in my direction. He accessed the stand I was holding. "It should do. Bring it over," he instructed.


    I followed his instructions. Keeping the stand on his side, I moved out of his way. I again took my place beside Innaya and waited for him to finish his work. I kept silent throughout because I did not wish to disturb him. I would be asking my doubt, the moment he was done with his work.


    "Did you visit the gynecologist yesterday?" Dr. Mittal asked while he probed at the inside of her elbow searching a vein for inserting the needle.


    "No. We planned to go today," I replied as I looked at his actions. For some odd reasons, I could not bear to watch her getting prick. Subconsciously, even small actions such as the little piercing of needle across her skin appeared harmful to me. I was taking things badly. I needed to grip my emotions.


    He swiftly inserted the IV and adjusted the equipment. I averted my gaze.


    "Here, clean those marks on her neck with this disinfectant. After that, apply this cream on her throat." He held out cotton and a tube for me to take.


    I had forgotten about how she had hurt herself in that moment of a daze. I took both the things from his hand.


    I moved the bathrobe little away from her front. I winced internally when I saw how she had scratched her throat with her nails. Some places seemed to have bled a little. I could not understand what elicited such a strong reaction from her. My eyes turned red. I blinked back tears forming in my eyes.


    In my whole life, no one evoked such kind of emotions from me. Innaya had so stronghold on my whole life that I was afraid to imagine my life without her. Since the time I fell for her, I had imagined no one but only her as my life partner. I gently cleaned the affected places on her throat. Innaya seemed to have fallen asleep or was she unconcious? She had stopped shivering too.


    "Why did her condition worsen so suddenly? She was fine and suddenly¡­ she went into a daze. She never ended up with so much lethargy after her attacks. She would always be fine after some time. What''s wrong with her? She complained about the cold. She can''t handle cold, but I don''t think that standing under cold water for ten-fifteen minutes would result in a fever. And, she seemed to be barely holding on. Why is that?" I asked him.


    These questions were bothering me since I saw Innaya having a panic attack and then how her condition deteriorated rapidly. I could not understand it, and I knew she didn''t understand it either.


    "Hmm¡­" Dr. Mittal cleaned his hands with sanitizer as he packed his bag. "Her present condition is because of her panic attack. Sometimes it''s not necessary to have a trigger. Even the slightest of a reminder of the past could be the reason for panic attacks. The human brain is strange. What tricks it would play and what effect it will have¡­ no one can predict it. As you haven''t told me, what''s the reason for her PTSD or exactly what transpired before she had an attack, I can''t comment on it."


    "Her fever, extreme reaction, those scratches, lethargy is because of her attack. Her low hemoglobin is only adding to that. If she has been anemic from very long, then such kind of reactions are expected," he said vaguely.


    "What do you mean?"


    "Eshan, look. Low hemoglobin means low iron in her bloodstream. Low iron would result in a lack of oxygen to her organs. She''s not only anemic but lacks vitamins and nutrition. We think that what we eat is enough to support our bodies, but it''s a misconception.


    It''s not enough because we don''t focus on caring for ourselves. There are many micronutrients, minerals, vitamins required for our body. We need them in a very small amount. But, that demand is sometimes not fulfilled. Her lethargy was caused by a lack of oxygen supply to her brain. Her blood pressure is also low.


    Dehydration can also be the reason behind it. That''s why she needs a full body checkup to rule out everything. We neglect our body which should be our top priority. If these things kept going for a long time then that can result in serious, life-threatening illnesses. You''ll have to consult the gynecologist along with a hematologist," Dr. Mittal concluded.


    With every word coming from Dr. Mittal''s mouth, my heart was sinking lower and lower. I did not think that Innaya''s health problem could be so serious. Delaying her check-up was not the option. After Innaya recovered, we needed to visit the hospital. I just hoped that it was nothing serious.

 Chapter 141 - Did You Change My Clothes?

    |Innaya|


    Darkness.


    Blinding, scary, endless darkness.


    It was as if I had lost my vision because I could not make out whether my eyes were open or not. There was nothing I could see.


    I knew the darkness was real when I blinked my eyes. Where was I? Why was it so dark? Was it night already? Even if it was night, it shouldn''t be so dark. Eshan knew I was afraid of darkness. Where was he?


    I struggled to stay calm, but it seemed impossible. How was one to remain calm, when the thing you feared was before your eyes? Naturally, I also could not face it.


    "Eshan?"


    No response.


    "Eshan, where are you?"


    Again, no response.


    "Eshan, please switch on the lights. I''m not feeling comfortable with this darkness." I called out, and once again there was no response.


    I tentatively took a step forward despite my heart screaming not to. Just as I raised my foot, I felt the ground beneath my feet disappear. I lost my balance and my body starting to fall forward. My heart lurched in my throat with fear.


    ***


    "Innaya? Are you alright?"


    I heard someone''s voice, but I could not focus on it. My wide eyes were looking around. The pounding in my chest had not reduced a bit. It took me a couple of moments to realize that I had not lost my footing. It was all a nightmare. It was alright. There was nothing to worry about. I was alright.


    I exhaled deeply, feeling relieved.


    "Innaya?"


    "Thank god, you finally woke up."


    My eyes finally found the owner of the voice. I relaxed when Eshan''s arms took me in his embrace. Feeling reassured, I sagged against his chest. I focused on calming down my furiously racing heart.


    "Are you okay?" Eshan asked again.


    I did not reply to him right away. My throat didn''t help me. I could not understand what had happened before as well. I needed some time to figure out things. Eshan pressed my head against his chest.


    "Hmm... Thirsty... tired... and hungry," I replied when my body protested weakly. My throat felt hoarse and dry. My stomach felt so empty as if I hadn''t had anything for ages.


    "Anything else?" Cautiously Eshan''s brown eyes looked at me as he held my chin and raised my head.


    I shook my head. Right at the moment, there were no other prominent issues that I felt. Apart from the things I mentioned, everything seemed fine.


    "Here, have some water." Eshan brought the glass of water near my lips. I silently accepted his help.


    I frowned when I tasted the water.


    "Why is it sweet and salty?"


    "Your blood pressure had dropped... Hence the sugar-saltwater," Eshan replied.


    My eyebrows furrowed. Why would my BP drop?


    However, my soar throat needed water first. Half-heartedly I drank the water. Eshan had messed up the proportion of salt and sugar. The water felt too sweet, and salt was barely there. I did not feel like telling him that though. Holding back my grievance, I somehow drank the half water.


    "Give me normal water, please," I requested. I couldn''t stomach that much sweetness.


    After drinking a glass of water, I could finally feel my throat easing up. There was that bitterness in my mouth. The one I felt when I usually had a fever. I was surprised how much sugar Eshan had put for me to feel even after that bitter taste in my mouth.


    "Uh... Do you know what happened to me?"


    Eshan took the empty glass from my hand and kept it on the bedside table. He nodded solemnly in response. "Not exactly." He then reclined against the headrest of the bed and pulled me along.


    The duvet covering me fell on the bed at his action. It was then I noticed my lack of clothing, to be precise lack of presence of the clothes I had worn last night.


    I could also feel that my inner wears were also missing from my body. I stiffened. I did not recall changing my clothes. All I remembered was Eshan holding me, and both of us were drenched.


    Did he change my clothes?


    "What''s wrong?"


    Maybe, Eshan noticed the sudden shift of my emotions.


    "Umm... My clothes... Did you?" I did not know how to phrase the question. We had not crossed that level of intimacy yet. So, I did not know how to feel, knowing he saw me... naked. Truthfully, I could not process what my thoughts were after learning about it.


    "Yes."


    My heartbeat quickened. "Oh..." I could not think anything else. Heat rose in my cheeks, and I could feel my face turning red as embarrassment kicked in.


    "I did not see anything. I swear. I didn''t take advantage of you. I''m telling the truth," Eshan explained quickly. His tone was urgent and insisting.


    Did he misunderstand my reaction? Was he thinking that I was doubting him?


    "I believe you," I whispered. Eshan''s body visibly relaxed. I felt how his hand holding on my arm loosened, which had squeezed my shoulder previously.


    His reaction might seem weird to many. It might look like he was overreacting. It should be an insignificant matter. Changing your own wife''s clothes when she was sick shouldn''t be a big deal. But, I knew, for Eshan it was a big deal.


    Why? There should be nothing to make a big deal out of it to see the natural state of a spouse, without any hindrance.


    However, in our case, things weren''t so easy. I was the one to be blamed for it. Perhaps my words made the whole thing awkward.


    My eyes watered when I was reminded of the words I had spoken to him. I had called him a pervert. A man who relied on his bodily instincts and went behind women for fulfilling his needs.


    When I looked at the past and thought about how I had broken his heart, I had nothing to say in my defense. My conscience would always remind me of my misdeeds. The words I had spoken in hurt and anger would always have that invisible presence between us.


    Eshan had refused to even hold my hands after that event. I could not even imagine what effect my words had left on his heart.


    I wondered what his state of mind would have been when he had to change my clothes. Was he also reminded of those words?


    "I''m sorry." I apologized as I hid my face in his warm chest.


    "I should be the one saying sorry, sweetheart. Why are you apologizing? You''re shivering badly. I couldn''t leave you in wet clothes. I had no other option. I''m sorry if it made you feel uncomfortable."

 Chapter 142 - My Vulnerary Husband

    |Innaya|


    I once again fell in love with my husband all over again. I guessed I did not understand how many surprises I was going to receive with my husband. His thoughtfulness never ceased to amaze me. I could not bear to let him apologize for no fault of his. My condition must have worried him.


    Despite being thrown in an unexpected situation, he cared for me. Despite my harsh words, he did not care about the consequences. He stayed put and did what he had to do.


    I wrapped my arm around his waist as I snuggled close to him.


    "Eshan, I''m sorry for the words I had spoken that day. I didn''t mean to accuse you. I know you respect women. I''m... I''m sorry." I clutched his blue t-shirt in my fist. I did not cry this time. Wasn''t there a saying- there was no use of crying over spilled milk. To make him forget about it, I had to forgive myself first.


    If I were to continue blaming myself, we wouldn''t be reaching anywhere. Instead, we would be stuck in an endless cycle of self-blame. Things needed to stop somewhere.


    I must take the responsibility to make things right. Sometimes he would make the move, and sometimes I had to be the one. We needed to work together to meet somewhere in the middle. This journey of togetherness needed our combined work together.


    "I was just surprised. I didn''t mean to blame you. Even if you were to see me..." I paused feeling bashful to bring something so intimate up. I continued after gathering more courage, "without clothes, I won''t blame you. In the future, we are going to cross that phase. Can you please stop thinking about those mindless words. I was a fool back then to accuse you."


    I fiddled with the fabric of his T-shirt.


    It is not comforting words we look for, but the assuring warmth of the people we love is what we human beings seek. At least I do.


    Growing up, I had never thought I could rely on any other male rather than Grandpa, let alone being comfortable with physical intimacy.


    However, with Eshan everything was different. I looked forward to those seemingly innocent caresses, kisses, touches, pecks. I secretly longed for his loving warm hugs, silent comfort, and his sweet endearments. The butterflies would erupt in the pit of my stomach, as his soulful gaze would follow me everywhere always as if afraid I was the only person in the world.


    The undivided attention, the unadulterated love, and selfless care he bestowed upon me slowly and steadily had consumed me. Consumed me to the point from where I truly never grasped when and how he entered inside my heart and claimed it.


    Unbeknownst to myself, my feelings had changed, and at this moment I realized how much the man holding me mattered to me. He was the person who evoked myriads of emotions within me with only his presence and absence too.


    "I love you." I did not realize I worded it loudly. However, the widened eyes that were staring at me in stunned silence, as well as the slightly gaping mouth of my husband, were proof enough of my stupidity. At the speed of light, he had moved away from me at my abrupt confession. My eyes immediately lowered, and somewhere, dropped to his chest glaring the blue fabric as if it was its fault.


    His fingers cupped my chin, and he tried raising my head. I stubbornly refused to give in. I too was surprised with an unexpected confession. I needed to absorb the feeling first before telling him. I wanted to share the happiness bubbling inside me, but I needed a moment for myself. It was not my first confession, but something was different this time.


    Instead of looking up, I found it better to tuck myself under his chin, and I just did that. Maybe my happiness rubbed on him or the simple three-word declaration made him feel euphoric that I could clearly feel it from him. He wrapped me in his arms tightly, and every now and then would drop kisses on my hair mumbling something I couldn''t catch.


    "Sweetheart, am I dreaming?"Eshan whispered against my hair. "But never even my dreams I ever dreamt of this," he admitted confusedly. His tone suddenly turned sad, and his heartbeat lowered compared to the strong beatings earlier.


    My heart dropped. Did he think I would accuse him or something for changing my clothes? Was he still stuck on that point? I did not like the self-doubt in his voice.


    ''Oh, Eshan!''


    "That day I thought I would never see you again. I thought everything ended between us even before properly starting."


    I clearly remembered what day he talked about. It was the same day when we lost ourselves, and almost our relationship in the hands of the game played by destiny because of my lack of trust in him. How could I forget it, and the suffering followed after that? The tear unknowingly trickled down as the memories of those lonely days and nights I spent without him clouded my mind.


    "I thought I lost you..."


    ''I thought the same.''


    "You know it feels like a beautiful dream, you feel like a dream. As a husband, I felt myself fail¡ª"


    "Shhh..."


    I couldn''t bear him berating himself. "You are a reality, my reality. I have never imagined myself getting married, but you arrived in my life and here we are," I motioned to our current position. Wrapping my one arm around his neck, I raised another to his face and cupping it, I found myself gazing in the pool of molten honey. The warm sunlight coming from the window made his eyes as well as his face more alluring.


    "Eshan, I love you. You know I used to seek closure before meeting you. Though Grandpa had made sure I wouldn''t wander in those dangerous lanes ever, but sometimes I would still question myself why did it happen to me. But you know, why I denied when Arjun wanted to tell me?" I asked him caressing his face softly.


    I smiled at the curious expression on his face. "It doesn''t matter anymore. Because you made me realize that I have someone more important. The memories, which we are building and would build in the future, are more beautiful than the painful ones of my past. Our time together made me realize that the present is more important, and you are my present."


    The twinkle in his eyes returned, and I found myself losing more and more into it. I leaned my head against his heart before I continued,


    "Today I feel free. I have shared everything about my past with you. There will be times when my PTSD will make an appearance, but I know I will be fine because I have you. Do you know what is vulnerary?"


    I felt him shaking his head. My fingers started making random imaginary circles beside my head across his T-shirt.


    I gathered all my courage as I told him, "It means medicine, which is used for healing the wounds. You are my own vulnerary. You are my vulnerary husband. Even if I am to be hurt, I know what to look for. It''s you."


    "I love you," I mumbled against his heart.


    "I love you too sweetheart." Eshan''s simple reciprocation warmed my heart.


    *


    I wish a very happy valentine''s day to all of you. Did you like this special chapter of today. We still have a long way until our couple would celebrate valentine''s day, so I thought I would give something sweet to enjoy.


    Vote, comment, share and review if you are liking this novel.

 Chapter 143 - Corrupted Scenarios

    |Innaya|


    Vulnerary. I had somewhere read that word. And, that time, the word had left a deep impression on my mind. I never thought I would have a chance of using it in my life- to describe my husband. It perfectly fit him. I could never find any better word if someone were to ask me, ever.


    Eshan changed my life for the better. I could not ever get tired of saying how the decision of marrying Eshan was the best decision of my life. He made my life beautiful. He made me feel beautiful. I smiled without any reason.


    Once I said what I had to, my initial courage wore off. Aware of my lack of clothing and the way I clung to him like a Kola bear, I could not help but blush. I needed to control my impromptu confessions. The man holding me always caused me to lose control of myself.


    "I need to use the washroom. I''ll be back soon." I pulled myself away from his arms before I could embarrass myself anymore.


    It was one thing to take initiative and talk things out. However, after saying things loudly, I could not help but feel shy. Being an introvert, it was not easy for me to be so open. Yet, for Eshan''s sake, I was trying to change that trait of mine. If I did not talk, I knew Eshan would misunderstand, and our relationship would receive a burnt of it.


    "Do you need to change?" Eshan''s arms found their way around my waist as he caged me close to his chest. He seemed to be having a good time with all the push-pull game we were having.


    I nodded little bashfully, avoiding his gaze.


    Things changed within the snap of fingers between us. We had our moments of happiness, sadness, emotional heaviness, tension, awkwardness... everything. In the blink of an eye, the environment between us would change. Such as how this morning started.


    I had still not asked him about what had happened when I was unconscious or why was I so drowsy. I didn''t want to linger in the past right at the moment, so I just overlooked it. I had not forgotten how I''d reacted. It was still unclear why though.


    Eshan kept his chin on my shoulder as he hugged me from behind.


    "How about I help you in changing?" His lips rubbed against my earlobe as he whispered those words in my ear.


    I was startled. "Uh... What?" Did he just say that? Was I hearing things?


    "Didn''t you just say that I could see you..." he paused as he left a lingering kiss on my cheek, "without clothes."


    I was stumped for words. I did say that, but I did not mean it now. Why did he take my words so seriously?


    "Umm... Did I? I don''t... I don''t remember," I stammered, fidgeting in my place. However, it was impossible given how closely Eshan held me.


    "Is that so?" Eshan''s lips trailed little lower across my jaw. My fingers curled in a fist. Nervously my eyes darted around. What was he doing?


    He kissed the corner of my lips, his palm around my waist moved slowly in an up-down motion. Something weird was happening in the pit of the stomach with the way Eshan''s closeness was affecting me. It took some time for my hazy mind to figure out what exactly the sensation was when a sudden sharp stomach cramp made an appearance.


    Damn.


    I threw the covers aside from my body.


    "Slow down, Tesoro. You''ve not recovered yet."


    I hurriedly removed Eshan''s arm and got down from the bed.


    "Hey, what''s wrong?" Eshan''s concerned voice called out from behind.


    I rushed to the washroom, but in the midway, I turned around and moved to the wardrobe. I had forgotten about my lack of clothing. I needed to take my clothes with me.


    Eshan also stood up from the bed. "Hey, I was kidding? I didn''t mean to embarrass you," Eshan said as he approached me.


    I had momentarily forgotten about him. "Nothing is wrong. Umm... it''s my period," I answered him when I was at the door of the washroom. Without turning back, I opened the door and got in, bolting the door from inside.


    "Call me if you need anything. And, don''t rush to do things. Take it slow for a while, okay? You''re still weak," Eshan spoke from outside of the door.


    What the? Why would I call him? This was so embarrassing.


    "Innaya? Are you alright in there?" Eshan asked, not receiving any reply from me.


    "I''m fine. I can manage," I replied. He was treating me with so much care. I could not handle this side of his. It was as if I was made of porcelain in his eyes. Was I that fragile to him?


    Leaving those thoughts aside, I focussed on cleaning myself. Taking a quick shower with my body not cooperating well, I managed to get changed in a clean set of clothes.


    I mentally calculated the days between my last period and this one. It was two months ago when I last had my period. That time, I had barely handled myself with the amount of heavy bleeding I had with those painful cramps.


    I sighed feeling tired already at the prospect of upcoming days. The next couple of days were going to be hard given I had just started my period after around two months. I dreaded the flow. I did not know how I was going to manage it. My body was already feeling fatigued.


    I rubbed my wet hair with the towel as I stood before the mirror inside the washroom. My eyes narrowed when I saw the marks on my throat. I brought my hand and touched one below my chin.


    "Aah." It stung. When did these marks appear? While bathing I had felt the burning sensation, but I had ignored it in the tension of my period.


    "What these marks are doing on my neck?" I wondered aloud. There was not only a single mark but multiple ones. One of them was a little long and deep, it looked awful. If somewhere to see the mark, they would assume, Eshan and I had the wild night.


    My mind projected image of Eshan and me, tangled in the bedsheets intimately. Eshan''s lips pressed against mine as his hands roamed all over me. I reciprocated his passion as I held onto him.


    Wait, what? I hit my head at that thought. From where the weird thoughts had come to my mind? I shook my head to get rid of those thoughts. Why was my mind kept thinking about those corrupted scenarios?


    Ah... I seriously doubted.my sanity. Did marriage do this to you? I did not think so. I had been married for almost six months now, then why was I having such thoughts now? Did my period cause a sudden fluctuation in my hormones?


    I patted my flaming cheek. '' Innaya, calm down. Stop thinking about those weird things.''


    I held the basin in my hands, focus on my breathing. After calming down, I thought about the events from the morning. I did not know what time it was. It had not crossed my mind at that time. Even I did not ask Eshan how and why I had gotten an IV. There was a small bandage on inside of my left elbow. I had noticed it while bathing, and I had been careful to not make it wet.


    I had so many things to ask. I also needed to hurry up for Eshan''s voice kept calling now and then, checking on me.


    "Sweetheart, don''t stand for so long. Come out already."


    There.


    My husband could not stop worrying about me.

 Chapter 144 - Painful Cramps and His Care (1)

    |Innaya|


    I stepped out of the washroom after I did my business. However, I froze on finding Esha, leaning against the wall beside the door. With his hands crossed across his chest and right leg propped against the wall, he stayed there with his eyes closed.


    Since when he was waiting for me?


    He opened his eyes and looked in my direction, perhaps he sensed my presence. Before I could say anything, his lips curved in a relieved smile.


    "Great, you came out safely. Now, it''s time to feed that hungry stomach of yours," he muttered to himself in a barely audible tone.


    Had I gone for the battle? I just went to the bathroom, what was there to feel so afraid for? I couldn''t understand why he had to stand guard outside the door.


    "Why are you standing outside?" I questioned him, patting my chest. His unexpected presence outside the door had frightened me.


    His eyes roamed all over me. Giving me a sly smile, he opened his mouth," I thought you''d need me, so I stayed put for receiving your orders." He dramatically bowed down.


    I felt my cheeks flushing at his flirty tone. Who said I would be needing him?


    "W-what are you doing?" I panicked when Eshan moved a little closer and started picking me up. I did not realize his intentions.


    "I- I''m on my periods," I blurred immediately when he looked down at me with those dark intense eyes of his. We wouldn''t be able to do anything if that was what on his mind. Perhaps he took my previous words way too seriously. He needed to calm down, and not act so brazenly.


    Eshan chuckled loudly before he shook his head. What was amusing? My heart, felt like it would jump out of my chest because of the nervousness.


    Instead of replying, Eshan moved out of the bedroom. I frowned, unable to comprehend what he wanted to do. However, when we neared the flight of stairs, I somewhere understood what he wanted.


    "Eshan put me down. I can walk," I wriggled a little in his hold.


    Was he thinking to carry me all the way downstairs? I was heavy for goodness sake. Though his legs had recovered, it was not a good idea to put pressure on them.


    "No," he refused.


    "Eshan, please. There are stairs ahead," I tried to make him understand.


    "I know."


    "Then put me down."


    "No, I know there are stairs, and thus I don''t want you to exert yourself," he said as he directly gazed at me with seriousness.


    I was lost for words. Since when climbing stairs down, meant exerting yourself? What did he think I was?


    "Am I that fragile in your eyes?" Unknowingly my voice wavered, but for what reasons I wasn''t sure myself.


    "You''re more fragile to me that what you believe, Tesoro. However, your strongest than anyone I know as well. Though that''s not the reason why I''m carrying you. You had a 102¡ãF temperature a couple of hours ago. Your hemoglobin is 6.9. You fainted twice from yesterday. You''re still weak. You could hardly breathe in the morning. I don''t want to see you straining yourself. When you have me, why would I allow you to wear out yourself?"


    I blinked my eyes as I stared at the face of my husband. He said everything in a single breath as if he thought he would miss out on something. I didn''t realize, so much had happened from yesterday.


    I stayed silent. I could not refute his words because I had nothing to say anymore. Everything he said was true. Though I did not know about the later part. Perhaps it had happened when I had that panic attack.


    *


    "Ok, now tell me what happened in the morning?"


    This was the question I asked Eshan when we shifted to the living room. We had our late lunch before that. My ever so caring and thoughtful husband had prepared everything light yet nutritious. He had prohibited me from asking anything as he concentrated on feeding me properly.


    I had the feeling that he was performing the job of a baby sitter. He looked after me in the same fashion. Somehow, I had controlled my curiosity while eating. But, once we shifted to the living room, I couldn''t control it.


    "Alright alright. I''ll tell you. Relax, just don''t get agitated," Eshan patted my head as he pulled me in his embrace.


    I had kept some distance between us when we sat down as my mind often forgot everything else. Held in his arms, I could see nothing else but him only. That was why I tried to maintain the distance, but Eshan being Eshan, he acted on his instincts.


    Nowadays, he could not keep away from me without having any physical contact. Not that I minded our growing intimacy. I loved his advances.


    "Do you remember why you had a panic attack?"


    When he threw that question abruptly, I was reminded of the morning.


    I nodded solemnly. " I had never looked at that scar. I avoided looking at it for the longest time. I don''t why, but I couldn''t look at it. When I found you gazing at it unblinkingly, I was suddenly pulled back in the time. The one, when I had gotten that wound." I sighed, the feeling was returning. That gloominess, that helplessness, that fear, everything.


    At that moment, a sharp painful cramp shot out in my stomach. I reached out to press the area. My face contorted in a grimace of pain. My cramps usually were bearable, however, this time the starting ones were horrible. If they turned out any worse, I would not be able to bear it.


    "What''s wrong?" Eshan held my shoulder. His right hand came over my hand that was slightly putting pressure on my stomach.


    "Nothing. Just a painful cramp," I answered once the wave of pain died down.


    He removed my hand and took over the task of massaging around the area. His long fingers gently yet firmly moved across the right side of my stomach. "Let me help you."


    "No, it''s fine. I''m okay. You don''t have to do this." I held his hand as I tried to stop him.


    For some odd reasons, I did not want to bother him. From my experience of how he cared for me in my periods, I knew he was different from my father. Furthermore, after spending close to six months with him, I knew he was not disgusted with such a topic. Sometimes, my past made me wary of things. I did not want him to drift away from me. I could not handle it.


    "Stop worrying unnecessarily. Do you want me to repeat myself?" Maybe, he noticed my discomfort.


    He stood up. Helping me to lie down on the sofa, he leaned over. Keeping his one hand on the back of the sofa, and other on my cheek. His fingers softly stroked my skin as he said, "Ok then. We are equal in this relationship, in each and every aspect. You are my responsibility. You have every right to take care of me, so do I. You don''t have to feel embarrassed or anything about it."


    I blinked my eyes. He had said exactly the same words. Back then they were the same words that had caused me to tear up when he had pressed my feet. Even after three months, listening to those words caused tears to appear in my eyes.


    "I''ll bring the hot water bag and your medicines." He smiled at me.


    I stared at the retreating back of my husband as he left after saying those words. I bit my lower lip as once again my stomach started paining. I myself did not understand my behavior sometimes. I was ready to allow him to see me without clothes. I called him my vulnerary husband, and in the next moment, I felt awkward when he was massaging my stomach.


    Truthfully, it was my reflexive behavior. What my father had done had left a big wound on my psychology. My reactions were in response to what I had seen at that time of my childhood. I needed to find a way to stop comparing my past and my present. I needed to learn a way to let go of my past.

 Chapter 145 - Painful Cramps and His Care (2)

    |Innaya|


    Fortune''s whining sound distracted me a bit, bringing me out of my reverie. I looked on my left side only to see Fortune''s big eyes staring longingly at me. I had forgotten about him. My eyes involuntarily went to his bowls of food and water.


    I sighed when I found them full. I could not entertain him because of my fear. If Eshan had ignored him while looking after me, I would have felt awful. It was a good thing that Eshan did not forget to look after him as well.


    Eshan was truly a multitasking man. I could barely keep up with two or three things at a time. However, Eshan did so many things. He cooked. He cleaned. He took care of me. He took care of Fortune. Also, he looked after his office work in the meantime. He was doing so many things that I was starting to feel guilty for making his overwork.


    A wide grin formed on Fortune''s face when he saw me looking at him. From the cushion he was resting on, he slowly crawled forwards, stealthily. I found his actions pretty amusing. I temporarily forgot all about my pain as my whole attention was taken by the fur of the ball trying to be as discreet as he could.


    It was a funny sight to watch. I giggled softly. "What an adorable dog!"


    "Is Fortune more entertaining than me?"


    My eyes snapped at Eshan''s voice. He had returned with meds and a hot water bag. He gave a side-eye to Fortune. I thought that he would next second stand before Fortune, blocking him from my sight. Was he being jealous of an animal?


    Fortune barked at Eshan as if expressing his displeasure at Eshan''s interference. I suppressed the bubbling laughter in my throat. I did not want to agitate him. Furthermore, I was yet to receive my answers. I shook my head, gnawing on my lower lip with my teeth.


    "I can touch my wife, you can''t," Eshan smugly taunted Fortune before he sat near my head on the sofa. Placing a pillow on his lap, he gently picked my head and put it on the pillow. "Here, keep this on the place where it''s aching the most." He then gave the hot water bag in my hands.


    However, I was too preoccupied with his action of keeping my head in his lap. I forgot about that hot water bag in his hand. I came out of my stupor when Eshan leaned over and placed it over the right side of my stomach.


    He held it there with his right hand.


    Feeling conscious, I returned back to the present. "I''ll do it." I took hold of it, and Eshan retracted his hand, nodding his head.


    "You''ve to take those medicines over there. There''s also a painkiller. You can take it if you can''t handle the pain." Eshan pointed toward the coffee table where strips of medicines were kept along with the glass of water.


    I nodded my head. I didn''t want to take the medicines just yet. We had our lunch just now. My stomach was so full that I couldn''t even stomach a sip of water. It was that full. "I''ll take them after half an hour. I can''t stomach anything now," I replied.


    "Fine." Eshan caressed my cheek with the back of his fingers.


    "Do you feel uncomfortable somewhere? Are your legs aching? I remember last time you were having a hard time." He asked while his fingers now removed a few bangs from the side of my face that had fallen out of the braid I had made.


    I pushed back those bangs. "Now, tell me," I demanded.


    Eshan sighed. "You won''t let it go, right?"


    I smiled a little at him. He knew me perfectly. I wouldn''t let it go. I needed to know what had happened. Though he tried to shift the topic to my period, I wasn''t going to let it go.


    "Well, I also don''t know what happened. One moment, I was looking at that scar and in the next moment, I realize something wasn''t right. When I looked at you, you were clawing at your throat, almost choking yourself. And, then somehow things went out of the control." Eshan sighed. His fingers gently massaged my scalp while his eyes turned sad.


    Oh! That was why those marks were on my throat. I unconsciously touched my throat. It stung, but I didn''t react. Worrying Eshan was the last thing I wanted to do. I waited for him to continue. Judging from the way his voice had wavered, I knew he was deeply affected.


    "Don''t touch it, Tesoro. It will hurt." Eshan frowned. He had noticed my discomfort. He then picked up a tube. Taking a generous globe of that white substance on his forefinger, he applied it on my throat. Instantly, the cooling sensation made me feel a little better.


    "I''m sorry. I forgot to apply it after you took a bath." He apologized after he took care of those small insignificant marks. It wasn''t his fault, I had made an abrupt dash for the bathroom and after coming out, he took care of my hunger. So, it was only natural to forget about such an insignificant thing. I myself had not asked him or applied anything over it.


    "It''s not your fault," I said, "and, it doesn''t pain that much," I added hurriedly.


    He wiped his hands with the help of tissue paper before he peered down at me with a serious expression. "I''m going to continue. Don''t worry."


    His handsome face turned serious.


    "You then fainted. I called up Dr. Mittal. Your temperature then rose. He came and took care of you. He left with some medicines and instructions," Eshan replied when I continued looking at him for answers.


    His explanation was too brief for me. He explained everything, but it felt as if he explained nothing.


    I closed my eyes to think about what he said. According to him, I was scratching my throat. I knew that, but I wasn''t scratching my throat but was trying to get out of my father''s deathly grip. However, it was all an illusion. My father wasn''t there. My mind played a trick on me. I didn''t remember much after I saw that cruel smile on his lips.


    I then remembered bits and pieces from when we were in the bathroom. I didn''t recall what happened after that. I frowned, on having those gaps in my memory. Why wasn''t I recalling things properly?


    "You don''t believe me?"


    My eyes snapped at that. I looked at Eshan. With apprehension written all across his face, he waited for my answer. Did he mistake my frown for something else? He tended to over-thinking things, just like me. To avoid that, we needed to be honest with each other. I had to be honest with him.


    "I do. Something just feels amiss." I answered him truthfully.


    I saw the shift of emotions on his face, but it vanished as soon as it came. Did I saw wrongly?


    "What is it?" I didn''t like that fearful expression on his face. He looked terribly afraid of something. Even if it was for a fleeting moment, that look was there in his eyes.


    "Well, you had stopped breathing," he admitted.


    Stopped breathing? This had never happened to me. I would always know something about my surroundings and people whenever I had a panic attack in the past. Never had I behaved so extremely. It was a major concern if I had stopped breathing. I needed to seek help from my doctor again.


    I would be a fool if I ignored the warning signs. Prevention was always better than the cure.


    "I performed CPR on you. You started breathing but you still weren''t responding, so I took both of us in the shower. Finally, you started reacting, but you were too dizzy. After coming out of the shower, you weren''t in the condition of holding yourself together. You were shivering very badly. I changed your clothes and called the doctor. I would have taken you to the hospital, but I didn''t want to scare you." His fingers rubbed the corner of my eye.


    "Oh..."


    So much had happened. Eshan must have been scared. Imagining me in that condition sent shivers down my spine- not breathing, not responding, not being in my senses. It was a scary scenario.


    "He gave you medicines in saline to reduce your fever and some other things. Dr. Mittal asked many questions. I couldn''t answer him. Telling him about your past without your consent... I couldn''t do it," Eshan admitted.


    It wouldn''t have been wrong if he shared those things. Because if I had to recite them once again, I knew for sure that I couldn''t. It was better if he explained them to the doctor. However, he could only explain the reason for my PTSD. He didn''t know the treatment I took for years. I would have to explain that as well.


    I sighed. I could see the upcoming headache at the prospect of telling him about those matters as well.


    ***

 Chapter 146 - Opening Up (1)

    |Innaya|


    I shifted the hot water bag in the middle of my abdomen. Talking to him was taking my mind away from the pain. So, instead of postponing the topic for some other day, I decided to just explain him. He would be able to tell the doctor in the future if such kind of need arose.


    "Back then, I was discharged from the hospital after I recovered from my external injury. No one suspected anything. Everyone assumed that change in my behavior and lack of response was because of the trauma. They thought I would recover over the period. It didn''t happen. My condition only worsened. At that time no one in my family knew that there was something called post-traumatic stress disorder. On top of that no-body expected me to have it." I revealed.


    Eshan silently listened. His fingers would occasionally caress my face, and he would adjust the hot water bag.


    "Grandpa did some research when my condition continued to worsen. It was then he found about PTSD from my symptoms. I think my mom doesn''t know about it. I''m not sure though. Apart from grandpa''s memories, I can''t recall anything from that phase," I elucidated. Even after stressing my brain, I never recalled anyone else other than grandpa.


    Eshan hummed in response.


    "I was ten when I started receiving proper treatment for my PTSD. Grandpa and the doctor had decided to do psychotherapy along with medications. For close to six-eight months, cognitive therapy lasted. At that time, I couldn''t cope up with exposure therapy and EMDR." I told him briefly about the treatment I had sought after that event.


    His fingers massaging my scalp halted as he processed my words. "EMDR? What''s that?"


    "Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy," I answered. "I hadn''t received the treatment for it."


    "Oh! I remember now. Why did you not go for others?"


    I fiddled with the hot water bag. "I couldn''t handle the other two. Cognitive therapy alone took a toll on me. And, in some special cases, they mostly go with cognitive therapy along with medication." At that time, going through those sessions with my therapist, had me feel more beaten mentally. It took me four months to open up about what had happened.


    Grandpa would follow me to my therapy sessions. Maybe, because grandpa was the one who saved me, I could trust no one but him. He was the only one I was comfortable with. My therapist had also once mentioned that she could not believe it. She could not believe that after what one man did to me, I could trust another one so easily.


    In general cases, the patient would distance him/her from everyone. That wall they build around themselves was way too strong to get broken easily. However, in my case, that wall would crumble easily before grandpa.


    Eshan''s thumb gently rubbed the corner of my right eye. I felt the wetness against my skin. I did not realize when my eyes turned watery and a treacherous tear rolled down from the corner of my right eye.


    "If you don''t want to talk about it, then there''s no need for it."


    My ever so understanding husband was again back with his tremendous patience. He wanted to know the answers, yet he knew how to hold on. Unlike my curious and impulsive personality, he was the exact opposite. He had endless patience and maturity. We both were opposites in our nature, and yet when together we were perfect for each other.


    I smiled despite feeling gloomy after remembering grandpa.


    "There''s nothing to hide. It''s just that every time I think about it, grandpa''s memories start resurfacing. I can''t help but miss him." I confessed as I held his other hand that was resting by my side. I weaved my fingers in his as I stared at our interlocked palms.


    He patted my head. The same comforting gesture our elders do to the children when they are sad or emotional.


    Silence fell upon us. Neither I continued, nor did he say anything. Maybe, Fortune did not like the silent atmosphere as he made a growling sound at the back of his throat.


    My eyes immediately went to him, and at the same time, Eshan''s fingers squeezed mine in his hold as if he did not like my attention shifting to Fortune.


    "What? You can''t be serious Eshan!" I found the whole situation ridiculous.


    "You have cynophobia." He averted his eyes as he tried to cover up his jealousy. I would never have thought that Eshan had this side to him as well. It was surprising, truly remarkable.


    Then, just to tease him, my mind suddenly suggested me an absurd idea. I wanted to see his reaction if I were to get close to Fortune. Before I could realize, I was getting up from his lap and sitting beside him.


    "What?" he asked grumpily as he looked at me. I kept aside the hot water bag which had cooled down by the time. I gave Eshan a mischievous smile. I used to do that with grandpa.


    Granny and I would tease him when he didn''t accept things. He had a habit of checking on granny now and then. His eyes would always follow her, but he never admitted it openly. So, at one-time, granny went to our neighbors and stayed there for almost half of the day.


    While grandpa''s anger had hit the roof in our home, he ultimately admitted to it, and it was only then that granny returned from our neighbor''s house. We had a really good time at grandpa''s expense. After that, he never denied his true feelings.


    "Nothing." I giggled.


    "Where are you going?" He asked when I stood up from the sofa. Fortune was lying at a couple of feet distance from me. I eyed Eshan once whose face had changed the color. He somewhere got the idea that I was up to something.


    "I''m not going anywhere." I innocently smiled at him.


    I inched closer to Fortune. I just hoped that he stayed put. Arjun had said that he was the service dog. Hopefully, he would stay settled. Service dogs were trained that way. They would remain calm around patients, and that was what made them special.


    "Innaya, no," Eshan spoke from behind. I turned my head in his direction as I inched closer to Fortune.


    Fortune''s ears twitched as he raised his head from his paws. He tilted his head in both directions alternatively. His tail started wagging. Compared to the one who had cynophobia, my reactions were pretty normal as the distance between us gradually decreased.


    Maybe, it had everything to do with the calm nature of Fortune. From yesterday, he hadn''t done anything that scared me. That''s why they said that you learn to deal with things when you are thrown in that spot. Perhaps, Arjun''s action of leaving behind Fortune was a good idea. Maybe, just maybe, I could get over my phobia because of Fortune.


    "Innaya, stop going near to him. We don''t want you getting agitated, now do we?"


    Eshan''s voice turned a little cautious as he tried to not startle me.


    £¬

 Chapter 147 - Opening Up (2)

    |Innaya|


    A hand shot out, suddenly grabbing me around my waist. I had not realized when Eshan got up from his place and moved closer to me. I only felt his arm snaking around my waist and pulling my surprised body to his chest.


    I raised my surprised eyes. "I told you to stay away from him," Eshan said seriously. His eyes held the warning. Fortune growled lowly from behind. He did not like Eshan''s gesture in the slightest.


    "Sweetheart, can you please stop getting yourself stressed? It''s not good for your health. Even if you want to tease me, then I accept it. Yes, I''m jealous of Fortune. Happy? If you want to approach him genuinely to get over your phobia. We can do that later, slowly."


    I could not say anything. I lost my heart to tease him. His worried eyes were looking at me with so much concern that I found myself loving him more and more.


    I pursued my lips. Sensing some movement near my legs, I looked down. Fortune at some point in time, had neared Eshan and was rubbing his head against Eshan''s legs.


    "Bud¡ª"


    The doorbell rang interrupting Eshan''s words. I stared at Eshan with puzzled expressions. I had no idea who it could be.


    "It must be Parth, my assistant. Some documents needed my urgent signatures, so I asked him to bring them over. Why don''t you go upstairs and rest? You''ve to take your medicines too. Call granny, she had called when you were unconscious." Eshan said.


    I nodded. I shouldn''t be disturbing his work. His work was already affected because of me from the past couple of months.


    "Ok."


    Eshan smiled. He bent his head and kissed my forehead. A smile found its way on my lips. On an impulse, I raised my head and pecked his lips. Without, waiting for him to react, I picked those medicines and left.


    *


    I lied on the bed after I took the meds.


    I had my mobile in my hand. I could not bring the courage to return granny''s call yet. Yesterday, I told her that I would call, but after the tiresome day, I could not do so.


    I yawned, feeling sleepy already. The fatigue seemed to be not leaving me anytime. I raised my body and sat with the help of the headboard. I could not fall asleep yet. I had been only sleeping. It was not good to sleep for so long. Maybe, it was a fever and weakness that was resulting in fatigue.


    My mobile rang displaying mom''s name. I bit my lower lip as I contemplated answering or not answering. Sliding my thumb across the screen, I finally answered on the last ring.


    "Hey Mom," I greeted first. I did not want to give any chance to her to find out that something was wrong. Granny would be beside her, and when they were together, they tended to catch on my lies very fast. After grandpa passed away, both of them had become overprotective of me.


    "Where were you? I called a couple of times. I even called Eshan, but he also did not answer. Is there any problem?" Mom started firing questions one after another. "I want to see you. I''ll just video call-"


    "Mom," I interrupted her. I could not let them see me. Both of them would notice that my health was not good.


    "I''m fine. Stop worrying. My phone''s camera isn''t working well. And, Eshan is not around. Let''s just chat over the phone. I''ll video call later," I replied whatever that was coming to my mind. My face was already pale, and I looked sick. There was no point in worrying both of them.


    Mom stayed silent for a while.


    "Are you speaking the truth, sweetie?" Granny''s voice came through the speaker.


    My heartbeat rose in nervousness. She had noticed.


    "How are you? Are you taking your medicines properly? Mom, are you taking care of granny well?" I chose to shift the topic.


    Granny sighed.


    Damn. She caught my attempt to divert the attention. ''Damn. Damn. Damn. Just don''t ask anything granny.'' Why I had to be so impulsive?


    Fortunately, she did not say anything.


    "We''re fine. How are you both? Is Eshan treating you well" She asked.


    I sighed, feeling relieved. "We''re good granny. Eshan takes care of me very well. After all, you guys chose him for me. How can he not treat me well?" I laughed.


    "Hmm¡­"


    "How''s your health?" I pulled my soft toy on my lap as I held it near my chest. Talking to them was making me nostalgic. In the last couple of months, I did not know how I managed to stay away from them. I could not stay away from my home even for a day. After marriage, I did not realize how the days went. I managed to stay away from them, and for so long.


    "We are fine. Would both of you coming on the twenty-fifth of this month?"


    Twenty-fifth? My eyes went to the calendar. It then struck me what it was. It would be a death anniversary of grandpa. After a week, it would be a year to grandpa''s death. A sudden lump formed in my throat as I could not help but miss him more.


    "Yes," I replied solemnly.


    "I called for that only. There''s no need to come home. Your Mom and I will be away for some work."


    "Is it important?" I asked pushing back the lump in my throat.


    Mom spoke from behind. "It is. We''ll tell you about it later when we''ll meet. The house should be ready after a couple of months."


    I got silent. It must be regarding her treatment if they were not allowing me to return. It had to be the reason. Otherwise, they would not be so anxious to call repeatedly after so long.


    "Take care then," I replied not knowing what else to say. If I mentioned anything about her health, then she would realize that I knew everything. Agitating her would only be harmful to her health. So, I chose to keep things to myself, just the way they were doing.


    I could hear some announcements in the background. Where were they?


    "Okay, then. We''ll talk later. Take care," Mom said.


    "Yes, sweetie, take care," granny added.


    Both of them seemed to be in the rush. Were they going somewhere? I wanted to ask, but mom then disconnected the call. I tried calling back, but it came as switched off.


    I frowned. Why would she turn off her phone suddenly? If they were traveling by plane, then only they would switch off the phone.


    "What happened?" Eshan came in and sat beside my outstretched legs on the bed.


    "Have you finished your work?" I asked when he returned so early. He smiled, nodding his head.


    "Hmm... Mom and granny are flying somewhere," I answered his previous question.


    "Did they tell you anything?" He took away the mobile from my hand and the dubu from my lap.


    I shook my head. They did not tell me anything. Just like what they had been doing for very long. They would not tell me if anything was wrong. They would hide things from me.


    "When the house would be ready for them to move?" I asked him. On our first date, he had promised me to look after my family. Thus, he was the one overseeing the construction of the house for my maternal family.


    "Within two months at max."


    "Hmm."


    I shifted to the side so that he could lie down as well. He must have been tiered looking after me from the morning. I patted the space beside me. He did not need to be told twice as he moved on the bed. Automatically his arms came around me, pulling me in his embrace.


    "How are you feeling now? Cramps?" his hand going on my abdomen, gently massaging the area with his fingers.


    I leaned and placed my head on his shoulders. "Better."

 Chapter 148 - Opening Up (3)

    |Innaya|


    Memories are terrible. Memories of the person who is no longer with you are like a slow poison. They corrode you from the within, slowly affecting you, consuming you only to leave you like an empty shell. They remind you of the happy times you once had. They remind you of the loss you suffered. They remind you of the bad times and leave you saddened.


    The memories crawl in your mind and occupy your whole being. It takes you back to the time when things were too good to be true. Furthermore, it takes you to reality. A harsh reality- where there is no


    chance of feeling those moments that had turned into memories.


    Despite not wanting to think about grandpa''s memories, I could not stop myself. With the new changes in my life, there had been a point when I had not missed grandpa like I used to. When Eshan had gone missing from my life, all my thoughts revolved around him only.


    It was not that I had forgotten about him. Eshan had made me realize that I should not always cry remembering grandpa. He had once said how it would hurt grandpa if he saw me crying.


    Dead people do not come back. How could someone who had died see my plight? Maybe, those were the stories cooked by older generations. People did not become a star after dying. It was the way of consoling ourselves. It was a way of making peace with our loss. I knew it all, and yet I could not help but believe in those things.


    In the end, energy can neither be created nor be destroyed. Everyone knew it. I would like to believe that the energy of that person remained around us, watching over us. That was why, after mom reminded me of grandpa''s death anniversary I did not cry.


    I was emotional. I was missing him terribly. All the years I had spent with him were now running before my eyes as I closed them.


    "Are you missing grandpa?" His soothing calm voice asked me as he rubbed my forearm.


    I forgot that I was still in his arms. I forgot that he could even sense the slightest of change in my emotions. I wondered how though. It never crossed my mind how deeply we both were connected. Somehow we had started to know if something was not right with the other one.


    "Hmm¡­" I just hummed in response to his question. There was no point in hiding things from him.


    He patted my hair. "You can cry. I''m here."


    I bit my lip as I shook my head. I would not cry. I would not. However, my eyes ended up watering. I refused to cry though. Stubbornly I closed my eyes tightly.


    "It would be a year on this twenty-fifth to his demise. I know you are sad because of it. It''s okay to get an emotional, sweetheart," Eshan gently spoke.


    I breathed sharply. His words were giving me the courage to face my emotions. "We''d planned to go on a world tour after my graduation. I was so excited. I thought that life couldn''t get any better¡­" I choked reminiscing about what grandpa and I had planned.


    "I''d been afraid of going to new places, exploring them. I preferred staying within the circle of people I was comfortable with. Grandpa never forced me to amend my ways. He never pushed me unnecessarily out of my limits. I never understood how he could be so patient with me. Mom and granny tried many times that I would change myself. They tried to teach me that I needed to be strong.


    Sometimes, they felt frustrated because of how I closed myself.


    Never. Not for even once, grandpa got frustrated or irritated with me. When I would visit the therapist, grandpa would hold me. He would hold me as I would try to recall my demons. He would hold me until I started to learn ways of coping with my past. He would seat beside me, even when I didn''t utter a word."


    Eshan caressed my cheek with his finger. I sighed, pushing back the urge to cry. His warmth was helping me to pour out my feelings.


    Well, talking helped. Telling about those memories might help. I would not know until I tried. Talking about my problems or anything I felt important or futile with grandpa helped me. It was one of the exercises my therapist had suggested.


    That exercise worked only with grandpa. After he passed away, I could not bring myself to share my feelings or thoughts with anyone. I had tried. I had tried even when grandpa was alive. It did not work. So, I did not try it again. Not until Eshan came in my life.


    With Eshan, talking about my feelings came naturally. Perhaps it was because of the selfless love he had for me. Perhaps it was because of the similar approach he had towards me, the one grandpa had.


    There were lots of possibilities of why Eshan made me comfortable around him just the way I used to feel around grandpa.


    I snuggled in his arms. There was no more space left within us. Eshan stayed calm as he waited for me to share my thoughts. I lifted my teary eyes and looked at him.


    "It was so abrupt. He was healthy. He had no health issues. How could he suddenly have a heart attack? How could he suddenly leave all of us behind?" I asked him even though I knew there was no answer to it.


    In life, we had no answers for so many things. "How could he? Our plan of the world tour was yet to complete? He was most enthusiastic about it. H-how could he? I didn''t even get a chance to talk to him for the last time. I could-" I gazed at him. His face appeared blurred because of the hot tears blurring my vision.


    "Oh, Innaya." Eshan wiped my tears as he cupped my face.


    "He''s in a better place, Tesoro. I''d told you. Don''t miss him too much. He''s looking at you and he wants you to be happy, always."


    He pushed my head to his chest as he rubbed my back. I knew he was only trying to console me. His voice had also shaken. Just like me, he was missing grandpa too. For only my sake, he was trying to be strong. I knew it all. It made me cry harder in his chest. I shed the tears of his share as well...


    ***


    £¬

 Chapter 149 - Between Denial And Acceptance (1)

    | Innaya |


    Have you ever met the feeling of loneliness? Often, no? We, humans, tend to drown in the ocean of loneliness every now and then. While I would not say, that I had been lonely all my life but certainly, for a significant period... I was. Those were not just the darkest nights of my life, but also the darkest days.


    Life is weird. After forcing me to feel that there was nothing good enough about living the way I was leading my life, it brought Eshan to me. I had forgotten what it meant to be lonely in his love.


    I always struggled to speak up and open up even if I was suffering the worst. I guess I had been so used to bearing the pain that I stopped looking for the cure and ways to get myself better altogether. At times, I would have horrible period cramps. The kind of the ones that would not let you sleep. Despite the medication available to soothe the pain, I had always kept myself away from them.


    Eshan, though, never verbally asked me about them, I was sure knew what was happening. Now, that my hemoglobin had dropped so low, Eshan was talking to me about everything. My concerned husband had refused to sit in peace until I get rid of every pain that I had been suffering all along.


    Two days had gone by after that uneventful day. After I cried to sleep in his safe embrace two days ago, he had been watching over me like a mother hen. He also knew the week was going to be an emotionally tiring one. No matter how much we tried to make ourselves strong, the approaching twenty-fifth was not going to be easy for either one of us.


    In those two days, Eshan practically looked after me as if I was some kind of precious gem. His concern had gotten me to feel conscious of my actions. His home remedies to cure my pain and reduce my flow made me speechless. Besides, I was literally banned from the kitchen as my dear husband took the matters in his hand.


    He pushed back his office work. His whole days revolved around me alone. From cutting fruits for me to feeding them, he wanted to do everything.


    He had scheduled an appointment with a gynecologist for today. My every attempt of denial and assurance to him that it was nothing serious had gone in vain. He wasn''t even listening to me, forget about even considering that there was nothing seriously wrong with me. At the slightest bit of discomfort on my face, he would start worrying endlessly.


    I did not know how to deal with him. Was there something else to it? Had Dr. Mittal said something?


    "Be careful."


    Eshan''s loud voice fell in my ears when I stood up from the bed, and immediately fell back as I felt a sudden, sharp pain in the left half of my head. I had a momentary blackout and almost everything disappeared to my eyes. It happened so quickly that I did not even have enough time to register when my head felt spinning and I lost control over my senses.


    He held my fragile self in his hold before he carefully made me straighten on the bed. His large palms scooped my cheeks as his concern grew by infinite folds


    Fortunately, I hadn''t lost consciousness. It was just a temporary thing that came and went but my head... my head still hurt and it hurt terribly.


    I placed my hands on him, assuring him that I was okay, but I could see, he had panicked. "It''s nothing."


    "Stop it, Innaya. Stop it. You think this is funny?" He raised his voice and almost instantly regretted as his face fell right a moment later.


    "I do not find this funny, Eshan, but I certainly do not like the way you are getting yourself worked up for this." I slowly encircled my arms around his neck. "I do not like you getting so worried. I hate it,"


    I murmured, ignoring the intense headache that was making even breathing, hard for me but I could let go of anything for Eshan so this was just a headache.


    "This is our appointment time. We need to go," he informed, glancing at the wall clock. His voice was low, giving away how tensed he was.


    "Can we go a bit later?" I urged. My headache was barely letting me breathe. I couldn''t stand, and I knew I wouldn''t be able to make it to the hospital. "Please, Eshan?" I pulled down my hands, breaking the hug. My hands rested on his shoulders, and my eyes did some more requesting.


    "Of course. Come on, lie down and rest for a while. I will reschedule the appointment and fix one of the evenings."


    He helped me lie down and covered me with a duvet before he got in the bed from the other side.


    I shut my eyes, trying my best not to let him see the extent of my headache. I knew it would just add on to his worries which were the last thing that I wanted.


    I inwardly smiled as I felt his hand caressing my forehead and hair occasionally. It was beyond explanation how his touch was so magically soothing to my aching soul.


    "Thank you."


    "Sleep, sweetheart."


    His gentle massage on my forehead did relax me and even though the headache did not lessen, it had become bearable with having Eshan beside me.


    ***


    I woke up alone in bed. Clock confirmed that it was five in the evening. A short nap had reduced my headache to a great extent.


    "How are you feeling?"


    My eyes shifted to the door, hearing Eshan. My lips stretched into a smile as I watched him with two cups of tea in a tray. The aroma of ginger filled my nostrils, and I couldn''t be more grateful for it. At that moment, all I needed to feel better was a ginger tea.


    "Much better." I passed him a smile and quickly moved to the washroom to gargle and wash my face before I was back on the bed to sip on the tea he had brought for us.


    "We will leave after drinking tea." I felt the need to let him know that I was not going to delay visiting the doctor anymore. Not for me, but for Eshan because I couldn''t see him, lost in his concern for me.


    His face brightened by those mere words.


    ***

 Chapter 150 - Between Denial and Acceptance (2)

    |Innaya|


    "At what age you had your first period?" The gynecologist asked the question. Her assistant was standing by her side. She must be about my age. However, I disliked her the moment her eyes shamelessly ogled my husband.


    We were currently seating inside the cabin of the gynecologist, Dr. Riya. She was the one Dr. Mittal had recommended. Eshan had been pretty insistent, and I did not want to worry him too much. I knew there was nothing wrong with my body. Sometimes stress would cause me to have heavy bleeding. Period cramps, muscle aches were pretty normal in periods. It was nothing to get worried about, yet at his insistence, I had given in.


    My eyes were fixed on her assistant who did nothing to hide her shamelessness.


    Eshan who was seated next to me held my hand. He gestured with his eyes towards the doctor when I did not reply. "Umm¡­ at 16," I answered coming back to the present. I averted my eyes from that assistant.


    I was not nervous, but a little bit uncomfortable. Well, talking about so private things even if it was to another female, I did not feel so comfortable. Moreover, there was that young woman too, who paid no attention to me instead had eyes stuck to the handsome face of my husband.


    Dr. Riya noticed my discomfort. "Mira, leave us alone," she ordered her assistant. Perhaps she thought I didn''t want to talk before her assistant. It was not the case, but the departure of her assistant made me feel better to some extent.


    She then asked a couple of more questions, basically asking the history of my periods. I answered her honestly. After some time, her calm personality made me feel relaxed. She was in her late fifties. Maybe, at first, it was her age that scared me, and later it was her age that eased my worries.


    "One last question, do you feel pain during s.e.x? Which OC pills are you taking?"


    I almost choked at her last question. Feeling my wide eyes staring at her, she raised her head full of graying hair. She looked between Eshan and me.


    "Any problem?"


    I did not know what to reply. I did not expect that question in all honesty. How did the topic shift to our s.e.x life?


    "We are taking things slow, so we haven''t been that intimate," Eshan answered for me. He did not look as surprised as me. He took things pretty normally. "And, no. She isn''t taking any oral contraceptives as hormone therapy."


    I controlled my jaw from dropping in surprise.


    "Hmm. Okay, I''m writing some tests. Get them done. We''ll start the treatment according to the results." She nodded her head and handed a file with the number of tests written down on the prescription. "It shouldn''t take time. You can receive the reports tomorrow morning. Meet me in the afternoon," she added after a pause.


    "Is there anything serious? She fainted twice and she had this blackout along with headache in the morning," Eshan asked her as he straightened his back.


    "There can be several reasons behind it Mr. Singhaniya. We can''t comment on it before we get the results. It could be because of how low her HB is. It could be because of dehydration. It could be a migraine. It could be because of stress. Until it''s properly investigated, we can''t tell for sure.


    However, if her fainting and headaches are consistent, you should consult a neurologist. If he suspects anything, you can do MRV of the brain. It''s an invasive procedure and doesn''t have any harmful effect on the body."


    "I see. Thank you for your time doctor." Eshan nodded his head.


    I noticed his hand had balled into a fist under the table after listening to Dr. Riya''s words. He was scared, yet he didn''t show it on his face. As much as the new information worried me, I knew there was no use in getting worried over with.


    Hospitals scared me, yet for his peace of mind, I pushed back my fears. I slipped my hand in his as I tugged at our joined hands so that we could leave her cabin. The white walls were starting to get on my nerves. Thankfully, she didn''t insist on having injections for my low hemoglobin.


    Eshan stood up and mechanically walked out with me. His other hand holding the file slightly trembled when we crossed the neurology department. The appointments were full for the day, and they weren''t taking any more patients. I could hardly control my nervousness in the hospital full of doctors, nurses, interns, and patients. I wanted to get out of the place as soon as possible. However, Eshan seemed to be having other plans.


    "Let me call Dr. Mittal and ask if he could do something for our appointment," Eshan said pulling at my hand.


    I stopped walking and stood beside him in the corridor. I wanted to stop him. We could always come later by taking a proper appointment. There was no need for asking favors for such small things. However, he had pulled out his phone and dialed Dr. Mittal''s number before I could say anything.


    Standing beside Eshan, I took out my phone from the purse I was carrying. Just I opened a browser my mobile was taken out of my hand. Puzzled, I looked up to see Eshan pocketing my mobile. He had nonchalant expression all the while as if he just did not take away my mobile without my permission.


    ''What the-''


    "Yes, I understand. Thank you!" He replied into the phone.


    I stared accusingly at him. Why would he snatch away my mobile? I just wanted to distract myself a bit.


    "Is it? I don''t think you wanted to distract yourself, rather you wanted to search about what possible illnesses you could have," Eshan said as he peered at me through his long eyelashes.


    Could Eshan read minds? He correctly pointed out what I was about to do. After all, no one could control their curiosity. I was no different.


    Eshan ruffled my hair as he shook his head helplessly. "Stop over thinking. I''m worried as well. Let''s just not reach to any conclusion. Dr. Mittal said he would arrange for our appointment. He''s on his way. We would see other things after going home. Okay?"


    I bit my lip sighing softly.


    ***

 Chapter 151 - Between Denial and Acceptance (3)

    |Innaya|


    We left the hospital after Eshan was assured by the neurologist. I never knew he could have more questions to ask than me. It seemed as if he had done his whole research. He talked so eloquently about those medical terms that I was left awed by his intelligence. I did not realize five hours had passed.


    In those five hours, the MRV was done, along with the other blood tests Dr. Riya had asked. Thankfully the brain scans came normal. We showed them to the neurologist, Dr. Iyer. He said that everything was normal, nothing to worry about. According to him, my headache and fainting were because of weakness and stress.


    I did not know as much as Eshan knew. Hearing him ask those questions had me wondering how capable my husband was. In the end, the doctor had said that he knew his work. In all honesty, Eshan was right. We had a right to ask questions, and we needed to utilize it.


    Not every doctor and hospital could be trusted blindly. Just like in any other profession, there were good and bad people in the medical field too. As he was someone, suggested by Dr. Mittal, we could trust him. However, how keenly Eshan almost interrogated him despite that fact had me feel proud of my husband.


    As we sat in the car, I picked up the bottle of water from the dashboard.


    "Feeling satisfied now?" I teased Eshan once I drank the water.


    "Are you? You are the patient here. If you don''t feel comfortable with this doctor, we can see someone else." Eshan turned in the driver''s seat as he explained.


    He was being serious. This thoughtfulness of his always warmed my heart.


    "No, it''s fine. Didn''t he say it''s all because of low hemoglobin? We''ll know more about it once lab results come out and we see the gynecologist again. Then we''ll just go with her treatment. All right?" I shook my head.


    "I think we should see the hematologist too. It would be better in my opinion," Eshan said as he ran his fingers through his hair.


    His thoughtfulness was good, but that meant visiting more doctors. The thought itself was scary, and it made me choke on the water I had just gulped.


    I rubbed my chest as I gave him a look of pure disbelief.


    "Don''t you think it''s enough for today?" I raised my eyebrow once I calmed down. Eshan smiled sheepishly. This was the first time in the whole evening which had turned into a night that smile had kissed his lips. I sighed internally.


    "So, should we go home?" He raised his eyebrow as he turned on the ignition.


    I looked ahead in the night. I did not wish to go home just yet. After spending tiring six hours in the hospital I wanted a change in my surroundings. "I don''t want to go home yet," I told him the same. I would be anywhere but home.


    "Where would you like to go then?" Eshan steered the car out of the parking lot of the hospital.


    "Anywhere, but home," I answered immediately.


    Eshan looked at me for a while when I immediately answered.


    "All right. Let me take you to the beach today. You''ll enjoy there."


    "Ok."


    * * *


    There were no stars in the sky. The black, empty sky without moon and stars was not my favorite scenario to see. It reminded me of that night when I was locked away on the terrace. That night had instilled fear of many things in my mind. Fear of dark nights was one of them.


    I would never be out alone if there was darkness. I loved nights, but I feared them as well. Perhaps if I would tell someone this, then they would ridicule me for it. How could love and hate the same thing simultaneously? I did. And, I was not ashamed to admit it.


    ''We don''t have control over what others think, all we can do is to trust ourselves. We need to have trust in our selves.'' These were grandpa''s words. I believed them blindly, for they had encouraged me to trust myself.


    And, somehow I was able to put that trust in my husband. As we walked barefoot in the water, with our hands intertwined, I could just look at our joined hands. The light coming from streetlights, banners, and the traffic from across the road, made up for the lack of moon''s presence.


    The waves coming from the ocean kissed our calves and died down. We did not need words as we could enjoy the silent company. The heaviness of the last couple of days was being washed away in the peacefulness of the night. The part of the beach we''re walking was not that crowded compared to the one ahead of us.


    Other than us, there was one figure at a further distance from the shore. We ignored that person''s presence as he seemed to have fallen asleep. I cared less about anyone at the moment other than the man walking beside me.


    I looked at my small feet. Before Eshan''s feet that looked strong, firm and beautiful, my feet seemed very small. His steps were steady, not clumsy like mine. It had taken me time to adjust with walking in the water with the sand slipping under my feet and me losing my footing after every single step. I had never visited a beach in my life. This was my first time being on the beach.


    However, Eshan didn''t help me outright. He waited for me to learn on my own. He guided me silently through his body language. I copied him, and though it took me time to adapt it, eventually I succeeded.


    His actions reminded me of my grandfather. My grandfather had once taught me how to fight. It was his rigorous training in martial arts every morning that had piqued my interest when I was around twelve years old. He never forced me to learn. I would just sit in the corner, watching him.


    "Ahh!" I shrieked when I felt something slippery sliding past my ankle. My thoughts revolving around grandpa also broke because of it.


    Eshan was startled as well, and he immediately held me before I could fall.


    "What happened?" He urgently asked.


    "T-there''s something on my ankle. It''s moving. There''s something-" I babbled, panic hitting me out of nowhere. Was it a snake? I was afraid of the serpent. My father had once locked me with a black snake. Though that snake was small and in a glass bottle, my child version didn''t know that. I had thought it would come out at any moment from that bottle. Tears sprang in my eyes recalling that time.


    "It''s just a piece of cloth, sweetheart. Look, it''s nothing to feel afraid of."


    Eshan at some point in time had removed that thing from my ankle and held it within his finger. I looked at that worn-out cloth in his hand. My eyes slowly regained their focus as my memories stopped resurfacing.


    It took me a moment to realize that it was nothing dangerous. I blew out a breath of relief, finally getting my bearings back. It was just a moment of panic and my heart broke into the marathon. Even a slightest of thing was able to pull me back into clutches of my past.


    Eshan threw away that cloth and proceeded to take me out of the water.


    Rightfully so, it should be what I would have done. Instead, I refused to move.


    "In the novels, I had read, there was always a scene between the couple on the beach. Do you mind helping me recreate the one?" Eshan asked me when he saw the reluctance in my eyes. Definitely, along with that reluctance, there was that lingering fear in my eyes.


    I stared at him with growing curiosity. His impromptu words took my mind off the things for a while. I wanted to know what scene he was talking about. He reading novels was also new information I got to know about him.


    "What are you talking about?"


    Eshan left my hand. I instantly felt the loss of his warmth. I had my back to the ocean as I waited for him to say something. The wind blowing messed up my hair and made me shiver. I wrapped my arms around my middle, to help cope up with a drop in temperature.


    Eshan calmly gazed at me with his lips gradually turning into a smile. He slowly inched forward. His eyes turned darker, and that heart-melting smile was still there on his face.


    "I think we should leave. I''m tired." I didn''t know why I was being conscious suddenly. Maybe, the growing intensity in Eshan''s eyes was making me feel little jittery.


    The smile on Eshan''s face only widened. He moved more into the water as his right hand went behind my back, slowly pulling me closer.


    What was he trying to do?


    "Won''t you help me?"


    "H-help?"


    Eshan''s breath fanned my face as he leaned down while holding my chin, he raised my face upward. I blinked. My hands were still wrapped around my stomach, and they were sandwiched in between our bodies.


    "Hmm."


    "W-what?" I stammered. It didn''t even felt this nervous when I had pecked him for the first time. I didn''t even feel this nervous when we had our proper first kiss. I didn''t even feel this nervous when we were in each other''s arms. For some unknown reasons, being held in his arms like this way felt much more intimate.


    Ideally, I should have been aware of the place we were standing in. We''re out, in the public area. Being intimate in public places wasn''t something I was fond of. However, being in the present position, my mind refused to think anything else.


    ***

 Chapter 152 - Between Denial and Acceptance (4)

    |Innaya|


    Well at first, I did not understand what Eshan meant my recreating the scene. When he held me with that intense look in his eyes with his face inching closer to me, I realized his intention. I had read far too many novels than he did. However, it didn''t strike me first. I should have known it by looking at those passionate eyes gazing back at mine.


    I would have never that Eshan would opt for such kind of excuse for kissing me. I would have never thought that he could be so bold to actually act on it in the public place. A public place- where anybody could walk on us.


    In India, you could get arrested if caught by the police. Public display of affection that included being intimate was not allowed. So, when Eshan approached me with the clear intention of kissing, I was clearly astonished.


    Eshan''s lips were just about to meet mine when the moment was broken by a ringtone. ''What perfect timing!'' I sarcastically thought. On second thought, wasn''t it a good thing? The intimate moment was broken. Judging from the way Eshan''s eyes narrowed down, I knew the caller was in trouble.


    "You should answer the call," I said as I moved out of his arm, making my way out of the water.


    Eshan stiffly nodded. His hand stretched out as if wanting to hold me, but I evaded him. My heart hadn''t settled down yet. I needed a moment to calm down. I walked ahead, leaving him to attend the call.


    I did not go much further though. Walking a couple of steps, I found the dry place to sit down. After sitting down, I pulled my knees up and rested my head on them.


    My eyes remained on Eshan as he stood there, talking or rather taking his anger out on the poor soul on another end of the call. I pressed my lips with the back of my hand to avoid laughing out loud, watching the serious figure of my husband.


    I could not hear what he was saying or with whom he was talking. I only knew that the conversation wasn''t pleasant. I watched him for a while, keenly observing how his personality was different from others.


    I remembered researching about him before our marriage. At that time, all the tabloids, news had mentioned what kind of cold man he was. However, I realized how different he was from what the media portrayed.


    I didn''t recall having him raised his voice once or getting angry at me ever. From the time we met, all I saw was a caring, thoughtful, patient, and compassionate man with emotions. He ignored every mistake of mine, no matter how grave it was. With me, I never saw the angry side of him, and I didn''t wish to see it ever.


    A soft smile came across my lips as I tilted my head on my arms. The man standing in the seawater under the starless sky portrayed a picturesque scene. I quietly pulled my phone and clicked a picture of him. Eshan''s frown eased when he caught the sight of mobile in my hand. His eyes turned soft as he looked at me lovingly.


    Perfect.


    I stared at the picture on my screen. I gave thumbs up to him for unknowingly giving me a chance to capture the perfect picture. I immediately kept it as the wallpaper. I wanted to cherish this small outing of ours, and it was the perfect way to keep the memory of it.


    I yawned, feeling tired as I put the mobile away. The evening in the hospital was truly tiresome. I just hoped that nothing else would come out of those reports that gynecologist wanted. I had no energy and will to go through more tests, check-ups, and hospital visits.


    The one visit of today made me feel so awful that I couldn''t even explain it in words. That MRV machine, though they claimed it was the most non-invasive method, they didn''t warn me about that cold room and those loud voices. Not to forget those stirrups they had tied me with.


    Who knew, that the room would be freezing cold. Though they had given me a blanket, it wasn''t enough. On top of that despite my protests, Eshan had accompanied me. Seating in the chair placed in one corner, he had borne all the cold without any word of complaint. It was his unwavering silent support that had motivated me to go through the procedure. Otherwise, I wouldn''t have been capable of going through it. Other than both of us, no one was in that MRV room.


    "Aaaaaaaaa." A loud screech came from out of nowhere.


    My attention shifted from my thoughts about the hospital when that sound came from behind me. I scrambled on my feet hurriedly.


    "Haha haha haha..."


    "Ahh¡­haha."


    "haha haha¡­ Ahh¡­"


    I almost made a mad dash towards Eshan when I heard loud shrieks of a girl, which turned to mad crackling and sickening laughter of a man. Eshan had heard it too, for he was rushing towards me as well.


    I dared not to look back at those sounds coming from behind me. I didn''t wish to witness anything related to it. My first instinct should have been to look for the source of the sound. However, I had seen so many things in my life that my first instinct became to run away.


    "E-eshan. T-there is someone. That sound," I stammered as my heart continued to plummet in my chest. I was scared, truly scared. It''s not every day''s case that you stumble on something so horrific.


    "It''s that guy''s mobile," Eshan said through greeted teeth as his hands came around me, holding my shaking figure.


    "No¡­ there''s someone. Let''s get out of here. Let''s go," I continued to ramble on, not getting what he was saying.


    "Yes, yes. Calm down. We are leaving." Eshan rubbed my back so that I could stop hyperventilating.


    I did not notice how we managed to get out of the place for I had hidden my face in his Eshan''s chest as he guided me to our car.


    In life, I had seen many things, but it had been very long when I was scared this way because of external factors. My own fears scared me, but nothing close to what I had faced today.


    Coming out in the area which was crowded and bustling with people, I felt a lot better. It gave me time to analyze what had just happened.


    "Sweetheart. It''s okay. It was just a ringtone." Eshan trailed off as he tried to make me feel better. His words made something flare up within me.


    Ringtone? Just a ringtone? Did people tend to scare others off in this manner?


    "Ringtone? Just a ringtone? Who keeps ringtones like that?" I asked him, my voice quivered with traces of fright remain within me yet. I was still not able to get over it.


    "I know. I know. Calm down." Eshan looked taken aback.


    I breathed deeply, curbing down my feelings.


    *

 Chapter 153 - Between Denial and Acceptance (5)

    |Innaya|


    The drive to our home was a silent affair. I still could not get over with that mad crackling. That laughter was so akin to that of ghosts I had accidentally listened in a movie.


    What kind of sick people were out there to play such kind of things in a deserted area. Anyone could get a heart attack being spooked that way.


    Eshan stole glances at me from time to time. He was making sure that I was alright. Was I? Certainly, I wasn''t.


    I still could not forget that laughter. It reminded me of that woman my father had brought. Her laughter too resembled one I just had heard. She too would enjoy the plight of the child while she tormented me.


    "Need some water?"


    Eshan''s voice startled me as my mind was about to dive into the past.


    I bit my lip with my teeth as I nodded solemnly. Then, without waiting for him to fetch me a bottle of water, I leaned and took it. I tend to drink a lot of water when I was stressed. It was no wonder that I found the half liters of water disappearing down my throat within a couple of sips. I knew I should not hurry and gulp down big mouthfuls, but I couldn''t help.


    "Slow down, sweetheart. You''ll choke otherwise." Eshan slowed down the car.


    I sighed and headed to his advice. Sometimes you do weird things when you are stressed. I was no different. I did many weird things. Fortunately, Eshan was taking them pretty well. If it were someone else, I dared not imagine the reception.


    "Are you sure, it was the ringtone? What if someone was really in trouble?" I asked him after I analyze the situation. Agreed, at first, I was scared and didn''t think rationally. However, now as I thought about the absurdity of it, I started wondering if anyone was in trouble there. I heard the shriek of a girl.


    "No one was in trouble. That sound came from that guy''s mobile. Either he played that or it was his ringtone. And, I saw constable rushing there when we were leaving," Eshan answered.


    "Oh." I sank into my seat. It was a good thing that someone went there.


    I watched as our house came into the view. We reached so soon.


    "I''m going to wash up," I announced once he parked the car.


    "Wait," Eshan called out as he held my wrist when I was about to get down. My hand on the door handle tightened unknowingly as I half turned my body to face him.


    "Aren''t you forgetting something?" He raised his left eyebrow. I wondered how effortlessly he managed to do so. It made him look so handsome that I found my heart accelerating.


    "What?"


    "This."


    Eshan''s fingers curled around my wrist as he slowly pulled me and my body obeyed without any protest. I did not understand what he wanted to do, but when he moved his upper half and in the midway he took me by the surprise. His warm lips found their way as his other hand went behind my neck to support my head.


    Before I could realize what was happening, Eshan''s lips had made their way. The fuzzy feeling started growing in my chest as he took his sweet time.


    With every caress of his soft lips, with every stroke of his warm tongue, my mind was eventually shutting down other thoughts. His fingers cupped my neck as he pulled my head closer. It was as if he couldn''t get enough.


    However, I was surprised when the slow strokes turned into little aggressive nips. There was a strange kind of desperation in his actions. My wide eyes could see it in his dark ones.


    The need for oxygen grew but Eshan didn''t seem to be noticing it.


    ***


    I looked at the sleeping face of my husband. Tonight, he seemed troubled. My fingers went to the spot on his lower lip where I had unwillingly bit. I had no option than to do it when in the car he didn''t realize that I was getting breathless.


    I had tried to push at his shoulders, but he seemed to be taking the action as my refusal. Normally, he wouldn''t have pushed the things so far, but unknowingly it was not the case. He didn''t realize it and went ahead. Passion was one thing, and desperation was another.


    He appeared desperate. Desperation is driven by fear. It''s the fear that guides you. There''s a need to seek the assurance in desperation which doesn''t get satiated easily.


    He tried seeking something from our intimacy. It wasn''t a physical need, and I was sure of it. As a woman, I knew to differentiate between the touch. His actions screamed his need for assurance of some sort. I couldn''t figure out what it was.


    Something wasn''t right. I could sense it. We''re alright when we left the hospital, but something changed after that call and the little incident at the beach.


    I hadn''t noticed it then. The moment he lost his self-control in the car, I knew something was not right. His eyes told it. However, I did not ask him.


    If I expected time from him to express myself, then how could I force him for answers? I could not.


    I looked down at how he was holding me in his sleep. Didn''t we hold the soft toys in our grasp tightly when we feel insecure about something? His hold resembled his insecurities.


    His right hand that was thrown across my abdomen clutched my waist. I felt his fingers digging in my skin through my clothes. He mumbled something. Something that I couldn''t hear, despite my ear being imminent to his lips. He turned on his side, pulling me impossibly closer.


    I wondered if he was having any nightmare or were it his worries clouding his mind in his sleep. I brought my left hand to his head and ran my fingers through his hair. Ignoring the pain his fingers were causing to my waist, I caressed the side of his face with my left hand.


    ''What''s wrong Eshan?'' I thought inwardly as I patted him like a child. He grumbled something again before his head moved and rested on my chest. My hands froze when it happened, and my body turned stiff.


    Calming down myself, when I noticed he was still asleep, I slowly relaxed. I brought my hand back in his hair and continued caressing his hair.


    Maybe, my caressing worked or the position helped, but Eshan''s agitated features slowly relaxed. However, his hold didn''t slack. I dropped a kiss on his hair lightly, not wishing to disturb him.


    Maybe, tomorrow I would know what was wrong.


    ***

 Chapter 154 - Lonely Bed

    |Innaya|


    Lazily stretching my body on the bed, I let my mind have the time to get ready for the day. For years, it had been my routine to have a few moments with myself before getting ready for the day. Unless urgent, I rarely broke the rule of spending a couple of minutes on the bed.


    After getting married, the routine remained the same, reasons changed. I never liked confinements; I detested them with all my heart. Things changed with time. The girl, who desired freedom, now longed for the confinement of a strong steel band of arms of the man. I adapted quite quickly to having someone accompany me on the bed.


    In the past, I hadn''t allowed anyone on my bed, not even my mother. So, it had surprised me when Eshan occupied my side without any reluctance or protest from my side. It seemed like, a marriage made me more flexible to changes around me.


    I frowned when I missed the warmth that usually enveloped me, providing me the feeling of safety, assurance, and love. Instead of a warm, cozy embrace of my husband, I woke up to the cold, empty bed. It was new. It had never happened when we''re together recently. Even if Eshan woke up before me, he would still stay in the bed, with me, holding me while checking his emails or reading messages on his mobile.


    So, when I woke up to his absence, it made me feel a little weird. I couldn''t help but feel worried, recalling his behavior from last night. Memories of last night started pouring one by one in my mind. His desperation, his clinging behavior even in his sleep still made me wonder what he was holding inside.


    I had fallen asleep very late, contemplating the reasons behind his abrupt need for my closeness. My sleep had vanished after that kiss in the car, and later his distressed self in the bed also worried me. I had even hummed the lullaby to him, the one my grandpa used to sing for me.


    "Eshan?"


    I called out as I threw away the duvet from my body. I did not receive any response.


    I got down from the bed. Wearing my slippers, I adjusted my robe. I glanced at the clock before leaving the room, taking my mobile along with me. It wasn''t even his office time yet. It was only six-thirty in the morning.


    In those two months without him, I dreaded waking up alone in our bed. That was why I had spent so many nights on the couch in our bedroom as my vacant eyes stared at the empty bed. The barren bed would taunt me, reminding me how I had hurt its owner.


    I had failed to cherish the reason for the most beautiful moments I had spent in the place which was my new home. Everything would come back, eating me from inside, making me hate myself. Those memories of loneliness were creeping in my mind, showing me different pictures for Eshan''s absence in our body. Not a single one was pleasant to imagine.


    I didn''t want to experience those feelings ever.


    My footsteps faltered when I reached near the bottom of the stairs. There was no sound coming from the kitchen, just to double-check I went inside the kitchen. Eshan was not there. I had checked the study before coming down, he wasn''t there as well.


    Where had he gone?


    "Eshan?" Nervously I called out. I unlocked my phone, ready to make the call. My eyes fell upon the backdoor leading to our back garden. The wide-open door ignited hope in my mind. Eshan must be there. My fingers about the dial his number froze mid-way. I decided to check outside first before panicking. As I neared the door, I heard the barking of the dog.


    Involuntarily I glanced back at the place where Fortune would be sleeping. He wasn''t there anymore. Of course, he wouldn''t be there.


    I just heard his barking from the outside. I was being so silly. It was my fear resulting in those rushed and irrelevant thoughts.


    I stepped out in the garden. The green leaves of the trees glimmered under the golden sunlight as it skimmed through the gaps from the top. I could hear the chirping of birds in the distance. The beautiful sun out in the sky was being soft on the living creatures. His aura was not that powerful yet as he was warming the life on the earth with his blissful rays.


    I still hadn''t spotted the face I was yearning to see. Making my way through the tall trees, I followed the sound of Fortune''s barking.


    My feet finally came to stop as I spotted my husband at around fifteen feet distance, busy throwing a ball in random directions. Fortune seemed excited to play with him too as his tail wagged in all the directions.


    He hadn''t noticed me yet. Sighing in relief at finding him before my eyes, I drank in the sight of his youthful beauty. My heart finally settling in my chest and the fright was ebbing away. Till the moment I found him, I had not realized how worried I was.


    I abhorred the thought of Eshan not being my side. All the lonely moments of despair, sadness, self-loathing had crammed my head with their unbearable projection of that time in my life.


    Craning my neck, I tried to take a closer look at his face to know how he was doing. I failed to see. A few drops of water fell on the skin of my hand. When I looked down, few more droplets made an appearance.


    I blinked my eyes, the stinging in them made me aware that those droplets were the tears I was shedding. The cold terror in my heart was melting. Those tears were proof of that. The ice had occupied my whole heart leaving no space for other things. It was melting with every drop of water falling from my eyes, making a room for the warmth of the man unknown to my wet eyes.

 Chapter 155 - Nightmares Of Losing You!

    |Innaya|


    I watched Eshan for quite a while. My eyes had refused to lose sight of him. However, I did not want to be discovered by him, so reluctantly I retreated. Eshan needed quality time with Fortune and his own self. The way both of them were occupied with each other, it made me feel their bond.


    It was the time to get over my cynophobia for Eshan''s sake. One day or another, Arjun would take away Fortune. Looking at how adorably Eshan cared for Fortune, I knew he needed a pet. Keeping my fears in his mind, he wasn''t bringing any at our hone. I needed to be brave and learn to be accommodating to dogs for him.


    After glancing for one last time, I left the two of them in the garden. The gloominess I felt at not finding him on the bed finally evaporated in the thin air.


    He was fine, at least physically.


    ***


    After finishing my morning routine, I went to the kitchen. Eshan was yet to return from the garden. I decided to prepare breakfast for him. From the last couple of days, only he was taking care of me. I decided to do something for him in return. Making banana pancakes for him seemed the best choice.


    I was lost when I entered the kitchen.


    The breakfast was prepared already. I clearly remembered it was not there when I came before in search of Eshan. At that time, there was nothing on the countertop.


    I opened the lid of the pan. The smell of freshly cooked spicy semolina porridge wafted in the air. Along with it, the ginger tea had been brewed already.


    How long I took in the shower? I wondered


    "Good morning!"


    Startled, I was about to drop the lid of the pan. I had not gotten over yesterday''s crackling from the beach. Fortunately, I managed to hold myself properly and saved the trouble of dropping the lid.


    Placing lid back on the pan, I turned off the flame. I turned my head and saw Eshan standing at the head of the dining table. I wondered where he emerged from. Instead of a white t-shirt and black trousers, he had changed into one of the grey suits. He looked more handsome in it. I smiled finding that his eyes had regained their calmness.


    "Bad morning."


    "Huh?" He frowned at my weird answer.


    "I don''t like waking up to the cold bed." I pouted, complaining like a child, taking a step at a time. "Where were you?"


    "Don''t you know the answer? Someone tried to be sneaky, but failed." A playful smirk made way on his thin perfectly shaped lips.


    My heart flipped at the way his Adam''s apple moved. Registering his words rather lately, heat rose in my face after getting caught. I thought I was being careful. I had no intention of hiding from him, but when he had not noticed me in the garden, I chose to watch him in secrecy.


    "How are you feeling?" Unexpectedly I asked him something which was not even close to his greeting. I noticed the surprise flashing across his face before his face settled back into that calm facade.


    I moved on my feet and got closer to him while his eyes followed me. He failed to keep curiosity out of his black orbs. Either he did not know what I was talking about, or he did not want to talk about it.


    Coming to stop before him, I smelled the refreshing scent of pine trees along with the lasting fragrance of lavender. The later half smelled like my body wash. Surprised, at finding my body wash on him, I could not help but glance brightly at him. That bite mark at the corner of his lower lip was a strong reminder that I was the one to leave that mark.


    Inching closer, like a piece of slow music that grips around our heart, I wrapped my hands around his strong body. I could tell, he was surprised by receiving my hug.


    I held him, trying to forget last night from my mind. Last night, he had stirred a couple of times. Every time made me feel more helpless. Whatever nightmares he had, I wished to chase them away. It was my wishful thinking only. I had felt the thudding of his heart, every time his nightmare surfaced. I kept him in the solidity of my arms, hoping to help him battle the demons that were overpowering his mind. His forehead had broken into a sweat, and even his hair had turned damp.


    Each time he had stirred, he had responded almost immediately to my voice and touch of my hands that were caressing him continuously. He had snuggled in me as if he felt the protectiveness of my arms. The extent of his nightmare had worried me, but it had somewhere made me feel worthy of his love.


    Up to now, it was always him, who provided me comfort. It was him, who had wiped my tears, consoled me, and chased away demons of my nightmares for me. For once, I had gotten a chance to do the same for him. That knowledge itself, made me feel good about myself.


    Eshan sighed, his sturdy chest moved with the tension leaving his body. "My beautiful wife looked after me. How could I be not fine?" His large palm covered the top of my head.


    Huh?


    How did he know that? He was sleeping, wasn''t he?


    I tipped my head back as I tried to break the hug. Eshan didn''t allow that. He spun me around and hugged me from the back as his forehead came to rest on my shoulders.


    "You weren''t sleeping?" I asked, feeling conscious of my actions. I had no clue how to react. My reactions from yesterday came naturally, and they depended on the fact that he was not awake. Not that I would not have done the same if he was awake, but it would have saved me the trouble of worrying about him for the whole night. It would have helped him to relieve the burden from his shoulders. He had spent the night in the clutches of his nightmare. It could have been avoided.


    "I was," Eshan whispered in my ear as he tenderly kissed the flesh of earlobe. "I was sleeping, but sometimes I remember my nightmares if I woke up having one. So, I knew about my nightmares. And, from the way I clung to you, how would I not know what must have happened." His lips trailed downward and his soft, smooth lips found the spot where my neck and shoulders met on the right side.


    It tickled. I moved aside my head a little.


    "D-Do you want to talk about your nightmare?" Turning in his cotton-like hold, I gazed at him.


    "Nothing new. The same old one." Eshan sighed.


    "Old one?" I frowned. He never told me that he had nightmares, nor did I notice.


    I was a very light sleeper. Slightest of sound would break my sleep. How did I notice him having nightmares often? Was I being too ignorant?


    Back of his knuckles tenderly moved across the right side of my lower jaw. The light inside his eyes died down a little as profound sadness occupied them. "Those days I spent without having you by my side. I used to have these nightmares then. Nightmares of losing


    you¡­" his heavy voice recited the origin of his nightmares.


    I had not expected him to answer so easily. Given his nature, I knew he would not want to trouble me. I thought he would keep it hidden in the depths of his soul, never letting me know anything- anything that could cause me to feel worried for him. I was ready to coax the truth out from him at cost of whatever it took. However, all my plans deflated in the thin air.


    The truth behind the nightmares that were pulling him in the darkness stunned me. A heavy stone crushed my insides, and inhaling a breath past my throat seemed impossible. An invisible force gripped at my throat, making it hard to squeeze out any word.


    ***

 Chapter 156 - Something Was Not Right

    |Eshan|


    My heart protested in anger for making my woman feel worried for me. She was holding me silently, wanting to comfort me with the solid warmth of her frail body. I could see her struggle once I mentioned the reason behind my nightmares. That was the dark phase of our lives, the one I wished to wipe out completely from our memories.


    Alas! I could only wish for it, for I knew it was not possible to do so. That phase was going to be a constant reminder of what misunderstandings did to the relationsh.i.p.s.


    I could not believe how I had sought refuge in her arms last night. I could not believe, how I was about to step over my boundaries in the car. The reactions my body possessed toward her mentally, emotionally, and physically were too strong for her to handle. I knew it. Thus, I had to refrain myself from showing away from the things that could scare her for her life. I didn''t want to risk our budding relationship with my hastiness.


    I stroked her back, thinking about her soft melodious voice that had sung a lullaby for me, whose wordings I did not register.


    I had woken up soon after I had my first nightmare. I always did. As if there was a certain switch to my body, it would automatically react.


    However, I had taken the liberty of being in her arms, letting her soft caresses soothe my troubled mind and her whisper-like voice caress my heart. She would have shied if she knew I was awake. So, I wanted to calm down before losing the privilege of being comforted like a child.


    I did not realize how long she held me as I lay with my head tucked under her chin. Listening to her heartbeat, my conscience had kept drifting in and out of haziness. When I woke up in the morning, I had never felt so refreshed after a night filled with nightmares. Every credit went to my sweet, adorable wife who had looked after me throughout the night. Exhaustion was written across her beautiful face.


    I had waited for a while before stealthily moving out of the bed without disturbing her. I had wanted to hold her for more time, but my mind reminded me that she had not good rest because of me. I had to resist my urge to drop a kiss on her forehead. Not in the slightest, I wanted to be the reason behind waking her up.


    Innaya raised her beautiful brown orbs filled with concern and questions, pulling my attention as she did so. "You didn''t have-"


    "No. This was the first time I had them after our reconciliation." I completed it for her. She had tried to compose her voice, but I took notice of how low and depress it sounded.


    Letting myself have the opportunity of holding her for a couple of moments, to assure my troubled senses, I slowly pushed her out of my arms. If it was in my hands, I wouldn''t mind holding her forever in my arms. However, she needed to eat.


    "Okay, enough of talking. Let''s eat. Our breakfast is turning cold," I said, noticing her fallen face. We both had our demons, and we had to fight our own battles to be able to stand strongly beside each other.


    "I''ll reheat it. Take a seat." Tiptoeing, my beautiful wife placed a quick kiss on my cheek before she turned and disappeared in the kitchen, leaving me to bask in the affection she was showering upon me.


    ***


    "I want details not your excuses." I slammed the file on the table. After breakfast, I had left for the office. Some issues needed my attention, and I couldn''t delay it.


    Before my desk stood the security team I had hired for Innaya and me. Those who don''t learn from their mistakes are the biggest fool. I wasn''t going to fall under that category.


    After the kidnapping fiasco, I had learned my lesson. With the help of Arjun, I had hired the best team for our security. Arjun did everything, leaving me the option of paying their fees.


    "Sir, we understand our duty. We looked into that matter, but we need some time to be sure. We don''t want to present you a half-baked investigation," Carl said patiently. The man was in his mid-forties which weren''t visible from the way he maintained his strong build. His 6''2'''' tall frame, with those sturdy strong muscles hidden behind the black clothes, looked pretty well maintained for someone of his age. For some odd reasons, Arjun insisted on having him as the head of the security.


    I pursed my lips feeling helpless. There was no point at getting angry over him. Carl did his best and I knew, he was doing his best. Some matters needed time to uncover their truth.


    "Okay. Come and find me when you have enough material." I nodded half-heartedly.


    Carl picked up the file nodding his head.


    "Make sure your men are watching my house properly, without getting spotted. I won''t tolerate negligence like last night." I added when he was at the door.


    "Understood." Carl left, closing the door on his way out.


    I leaned back in my swirling chair, crossing my right leg on my left knee. My mind went back to the man on the beach yesterday. I had not seen who it was, but the moment he played that trick, I knew something was fishy. I didn''t want to startle Innaya, so I didn''t probe further.


    Innaya had her back toward him, so she hadn''t noticed. I had. It was no coincidence. He had his eyes on us from the time we entered the beach. At first, I hadn''t given importance to his presence, but then when I was on the call I had caught his intense stare on Innaya.


    My suspicion only grew when I received the message from Raj, the bodyguard. I had asked them to keep an eye on us from the distance. Raj and Krishna were the ones who had followed us last night. I had forgotten about their presence when I was about to kiss her. Thankfully the call stopped me from going further and giving in my impulses.


    Innaya did not know that there were bodyguards following us. I didn''t plan to tell her yet. I wanted to reach to that man and know his purpose, but he spotted my furious eyes and played that sound on his phone before he escaped.


    I sighed as my fingers curled in a fist.


    I did not know what motives he had, but I had a hunch that things were not as simple as they looked. His presence was not a coincidence. That was why I asked Carl to look more into it, but his search came negative. He didn''t find anything.


    There was a tiny voice inside my head, that kept sending warning bells.


    Something was not right.

 Chapter 157 - Unwanted Visitor At Office

    |Eshan|


    Clasping my hands together, I stretched out my arms on the desk. While I was letting out a sigh of exasperation, my traveling gaze landed upon the photo frame that I had adorned my table with.


    Mom. I couldn''t help the flood of emotions that warmed my heart. The mere thought about Mom got me emotional. It had been quite a while since I had seen her.


    I most certainly missed her. I missed her so much.


    Curling my fingers around the frame, I pulled it closer. For a moment, every worry was out of my mind. At that moment, all that I felt was... love. My mother''s love.


    They don''t lie when they say Moms are the best. They indeed are. The most surreal creation of the universe.


    It was not that Mom and I never had arguments. It was never the case that we always agreed to something. No. I had gained the strong-headed attitude that I had from my mother. Both, being firm in opinions and thoughts, we often ended up arguing quite frequently, but they had always been healthy ones.


    I loved her so much and I know, she loved me more than I loved her. You cannot compare anyone''s love with a mother''s. Never.


    Recalling Mom had me recall some more things. Not the pleasant ones to think about. It instantly lowered the spirit that I still somehow tried holding up.


    The knocking sound on my cabin door brought me out of my thoughts, making me straighten up. Wiping all the traces of my turmoil, I pulled my poker face.


    "Enter," I commanded.


    Parth entered carrying a stack of files along.


    ''Damn.'' I cursed in my mind. Before getting married, I wouldn''t even blink if there was a mountain of them on my table. And, now looking at around a dozen of them made me feel frustrated. The longer time I spent in the office, the more delay it would cause me to return to Innaya''s side.


    "Sir, these are the files of our current projects." Parth placed them on my pristine table. In my absence, my staff really looked after my cabin. Everyone was aware of how much perfection I needed.


    Not only perfection, but I wanted the complete dedication from my team and people working in our company.


    "What''s happening in the company?" I asked him after picking up the first file from the stack.


    "Sir, your absence didn''t create any issues. Ayush sir and Barun sir handled almost everything. They attended meetings and managed the board members. Other than that our core team is working in the new prototype. Everything else is going smoothly." Parth briefly answered.


    "Anything else?"


    "Well, Sahil sir and Sameer sir asked for meeting a couple of times. They even wanted to wait for you in your cabin. As per your instructions, no one was allowed in."


    "Good job. Keep it that way."


    "Any upcoming important event?"


    "No Sir. Your schedule has been cleared. You''ll need to attend tomorrow''s board meeting."


    I nodded. "You can leave now. Make sure no one disturbs me.


    Handle things on your own. You know what to do." I raised my eyebrow.


    "Ok, sir." Parth smiled, bobbling his head upside down. I reciprocated his smile.


    "Get back to your work."


    "Yes, sir."


    I stared at the retreating back of my assistant. The boy never disappointed me. He was my junior. I had pulled him on board once I established this business. I had long known about his financial and family conditions.


    He lost his father in his childhood. His mother brought him and two other sons singlehandedly. I knew her because she was the head cook of the college cafeteria. I had practically watched him grow. So, when I got the opportunity, I used it. And, the boy lived up to my expectations, in fact surpassing them by far margin.


    Parth stopped at the door with his hand holding on to the doorknob. He looked deep in the thoughts as if he was contemplating something. I watched him stay that way for a couple of minutes before he turned around and called out my name hesitantly. "Eshan Sir?"


    "Yes?" I raised my eyebrow, temporarily keeping aside the project file.


    "I accidentally told mom about your marriage. So, she''s behind me from very long, asking me to invite you and-" he trailed off seemingly not knowing how to address my wife.


    I hadn''t announced my marriage yet. Apart from my friends and other few outside people, Parth was the only one to know about it. After all, he was the one to manage my schedule and handle everything else in my absence.


    "And?" I prompted, narrowing my eyes. I had pulled a long face. Suddenly I wanted to tease him.


    Parth nervously shuffled on his feet. I could understand his anxiety. I wasn''t bothered because he told his mom about my marriage, but he didn''t know that. I could see from his fallen face that he was worried about my reaction.


    "Umm... Your wife?"


    I wanted to laugh aloud when he answered unsurely. "Had I not made myself clear to not let anyone know about marriage?


    "Sorry, sir. I didn''t mean to... But... I apologize." Parth nervously fumbled. I could see how he got frightened. It was so unlike his strong personality.


    The guy never got intimidated by anyone, except me. For some reason, he felt he owned me. I got up my chair as I strolled toward him. "Shouldn''t you address her as sister-in-law?"


    Parth''s eyes snapped at him as surprise flashed across his face.


    "Uh... Yes... No, I mean how could I?"


    I placed my hand on his shoulder, giving a firm squeeze. "Stop stuttering Parth. Bring auntie home for dinner next Sunday."


    "Okay, Sir. I''ll drop mom at your place." He nervously nodded.


    "Drop? Which meeting are you attending on Sunday evening?" I frowned taking back my arm and folding my both arms across my chest.


    "None, sir."


    "You''ll be there as well. Understand?" I sternly said, knowing too well that he would find chances to avoid coming to my place unless absolutely necessary. He had a weird way of thinking, one which I couldn''t comprehend.


    He nodded and turned to open the door. However, he was pushed inside when the door was opened from outside. Parth steadied himself with the help of the wall.


    I frowned. Just who the hell wanted to enter without knocking?


    My frown turned into a murderous glare when the person''s face came before my eyes.


    ***

 Chapter 158 - Threat

    |Eshan|


    "Sorry, sir. We tried stopping him, but he just strode in pushing his way through-" The assistant of Parth stood breathless outside the door. She had clasped her hands tightly as she alternatively looked between Parth and me.


    I could make out how scared she was. My thumb landed beside my right eye as my forefinger rubbed my forehead momentarily. "You can go back to your work, Maya. I''ll handle this."


    Parth had regained his composure. Gone was the timid and nervous boy from before. The stern, compose, fearless man stood in-between me and the man who was giving hostile look to him.


    "Sir, I''ll handle this. You don''t need to worry," Parth said calmly and even though his voice was calm, I could hear the hidden rage in them.


    My anger turned into amus.e.m.e.nt and then into pride. Though he knew that the man standing at the door was someone he couldn''t afford offending, yet he disregarded everything for my sake. His loyalty warmed my heart like it always did.


    "Tsk tsk. You''ll handle me? You? Do you even have that capability?" The staggering man laughed scornfully. I could smell the alcohol, and it made my nose cringe in disgust.


    "Leave before I call security." I gritted my teeth as I side stepped Parth and made him stand behind me. ''No one messes with my people before my eyes or behind my back.''


    "Haha¡­ You want me to leave¡­ Ahh, how about we talk in private? I don''t think you would like people to know contents of our discussion."


    "I don''t talk with drunkards," I snapped rudely. There was no need to be polite with a man like Rey Sighaniya. Though the twenty five year old man standing in-front of my cabin was my cousin, I never liked him a bit. Credit to his addiction to drugs and drinking habits, my uncle had almost disowned him. He loved to create scenes in my office ever so often. He had stopped doing so after the last warning he got from my uncle half a year ago. I did not understand his purpose of visiting, but nothing good came from him.


    "Don''t be hasty cousin brother. Would you like to see your late night adventures on every news channels? If not, let me in."


    I clenched my fists by my side, while one part of me wanted to smash his face. With great difficulty I controlled myself. He was mad. He could do as he said, and I would have no means of stopping it. In this time, it took a single click to ruin someone''s life and reputation through the internet.


    I wasn''t worried about my reputation but Innaya''s. If by any chance, Rey had photos of videos in his hand, no one could predict what he would do with them.


    Innaya and I hadn''t done anything scandalous yet, but if at all he was referring to the night where Innaya had got drunk¡­


    "Parth, wait outside."


    "Ah... Mr. Singhaniya sure cares about his reputation it seems," Rey drawled out as he strolled inside, and plopped himself ungracefully on the sofa.


    I so wished to throw him out of the cabin, but I needed to know what he had in his hands. He appeared before me after so long, there had to be something more to it. Something that could potentially harm everything I cared for- me, my business, my friends, and most importantly my wife, Innaya.


    "Speak." I did not move from my place. Being in the same room with him was suffocating. I would not mind him throwing out, but that would have me dirty my hands with his filthy being. I never understood how could someone waste their life this way.


    "What''s the hurry bro? Come, sit. We are meeting after so long, won''t you greet your brother? Hmm? Come on, give me a hug."


    I immediately stepped aside when he stood up and moved over. Picking up the glass of water from the table, I splashed it''s content across his face.


    "This should sober you. I don''t have time for your nonsense. Get to the point," I snapped, watching him wipe his face.


    His eyes glared resentfully first, and then his face fell back into that playful smirk.


    "I want my shares back," he demanded.


    I frowned in my mind. I did not have his shares, then what was the point of his visit?


    "Go and talk to your father. I wasn''t one to take them back," I replied.


    "Ah, my dad! What a great father I have!" Rey sarcastically laughed. I could see the pain behind them. I didn''t know what went wrong in their relationship. However, I had no interest in knowing that as well.


    He pulled out something from his coat and then threw it out. I watched as the papers floated in the air before they landed all-around me in my office.


    "What do you think would happen to your reputation if I placed them on the internet? Maybe, to media? ''The business tycoon,Mr. Eshan Singhaniya playing a game of tug and war with his new playmate, in the middle of night.''?


    I was taken aback once I saw them, however, I sighed in relief as well for they had not caught the face of the woman in my arms. I sighed in relief because they weren''t taken last night. I sighed in relief because he didn''t know about the woman in the pictures.


    My blood boiled listening to his words that were getting crude.


    "How did you get them?" I glared, clenching my fist by my side.


    The photos were taken from a long distance, that was why there was not a single shot of Innaya''s face. They were taken on the night when Innaya had accidentally gotten drunk. Though those photos didn''t reveal her identity, if media were to get wind of it, they would relentlessly be behind it. It wouldn''t take them long for unearthing everything about Innaya.


    One could never trust the media. I didn''t wish for things to get difficult for her. She was finally getting better. I would never allow this nonsense to grow into  scandal.


    "That''s not important bro. What''s important is what you would do. I''ll be generous and give you a week. Make your decision, I will see you after an week." He made his way to the door. He suddenly stopped and tilted his head as if pondering something.


    I so hated myself in the moment. I wanted to reach him a lesson for messing with me, but I stopped myself. Everything had its own time,being hasty wasn''t a solution. I needed time to get to the bottom of this.


    "Oh, and by the way. These aren''t the only photos I have," he said before he left with a smug smile.


    I threw down the glass in my hand. It shattered in many pieces and lay scattered in the ground.


    ***


    It had been quite a while since Rey left. His words were still ringing in my mind. I felt sick at the thought that ever since Innaya and I had got married, we had got less quality time and more issues on our plates to deal with. ''Did this have no end?'' For how long were we supposed to deal with these things? We had barely got any time to explore and nourish our relationship. I had not even been able to take her to a honeymoon. Innaya already had her issues and the kind of things that had happened after we got married, had just added on to them.


    My gaze went back to my mother''s photo frame. "Wish you were here, Mom. Wish you were here," I murmured, picking up the frame as I talked to her but hoping she wouldn''t listen. Mothers'' instincts! You would never know how but their child in trouble and they would just get to know. How? Some questions do not have answers.


    I placed the frame back on the desk, carefully making it stand but just a moment after I kept it there, and was about to call the one on the other side of the door in, the frame fell forward, and came crashing on the floor. The glass frame now was lying scattered in pieces on the floor.


    My heart suddenly stopped beating for a moment. Somehow, it felt as if it wasn''t the frame that was broken but my relationship with Mom. I couldn''t bear the thought. It was a macabre one.


    I bent down to take out the photo from the frame. As I stared at our picture, I couldn''t resist the fear that gripped my heart. My lips involuntarily kissed Mom in the picture. I had heard, at times, the universe sends you signal. I wondered if this was a way to convey that something bad was coming my way.


    ''Stop it, Eshan.'' I forced a break to my thoughts that were all over the place. What was I even thinking? Neither did I believe in superstitions nor did I encourage them. I shrugged it off, thinking once in a while¡­ mind begins thinking stupid things on its own.


    ***


    Unedited :-(

 Chapter 159 - Grandpas Death Anniversary

    |Innaya|


    I sighed as I listened to the old songs of Kishor Kumar. The twenty-fifth arrived sooner than I imagined. I didn''t know how one week had passed. And, it brought so much pain along with it. I did not wish for Eshan to see me in my miserable state, so I forced him to leave for his office. He did not want to. After requesting him to give me some alone time for a couple of hours, he had reluctantly agreed.


    He left around an hour ago. However, I knew he would return very soon. Sending him to the office was the only option I could think at the moment. I knew, despite not wanting to be emotional I was going to cry.


    From yesterday I was feeling down, but I controlled my emotions around him. The moment, he went away I could not help those tears I had restrained for so long.


    I scrolled through videos of grandpa on my mobile.


    I missed his care. I missed his warmth. I missed him.


    I turned off the music player when it became unbearable to listen to the songs grandpa loved. Each song was bringing piercing pain to my heart as it was linked to memories of grandpa.


    I looked at the guitar beside me. It was the one grandpa had gifted me. I caressed the strings with my thin, slender fingertips. My therapist had suggested him to enroll me in music classes.


    Those music lessons helped me to relieve my stress. My fears, my stress, I would forget everything when I played the guitar. After marriage, that hobby was forgotten. It had been so long that I had touched my guitar. However, after running my fingers across it, I started feeling stuffed with emotions.


    ***


    (Flashback 9 years ago)


    I ran through the whole house, searching for the person who had answers to my every question. I needed to have an answer. I needed it from him.


    When I didn''t find him, my legs turned to the study. I knew he was home. I had seen his car outside, he must have returned early. That was a good thing. The wooden door to the study was open.


    He was sitting behind that wooden large table covering almost one side of the study.


    "Grandpa, do you think Innu is a bad girl?" I asked the question to my grandfather whose fingers typing on the laptop paused in the mid-air.


    He glanced at me. I was standing in his study before his desk.


    "Come here."


    He removed his gold-rimmed spectacles and kept them beside the keyboard. He then swiveled his chair to the side and waited for me to approach him.


    With tears glistening in my eyes, I didn''t move.


    "Do you think Innu is a bad girl?" I asked again as I tried to suppress my cries.


    Grandpa sighed as he stood up and walked to me when I didn''t move.


    He sat down on the carpet before me as he pulled me along as well beside him. I sniffled rubbing my eyes furiously. I didn''t have anything to wipe it with. Grandpa pulled out the handkerchief from his pocket and wiped my tears first.


    "My Innu is a very good girl. Who said anything about being bad. Tell grandpa now and grandpa will see to it."


    "Am I really a good girl?" My tears had stopped, but the fear was still there.


    It was the parents meeting today at my school. I was in middle school in sixth grade. In this new school, no one knew about my past. The other kids in my class nagged me endlessly, bullying me for not bringing my father to the school even once. In the last two years, my mother was the one who attended everything.


    However, today those kids seemed to have taken an interest in my matter as they laughed, mocked me saying how much of bad daughter I was. My father didn''t want me. Grandpa would also attend those meetings in my school but from the last couple of months being busy with his office work, he wasn''t able to.


    Those kids used this as well to taunt me and remind me that grandpa would leave me to. Nobody wanted bad girls. One day or another everyone was going to hate me.


    I knew what kind of a father I had. They didn''t know. They didn''t have the slightest bit of what my father was. However, saying that the grandfather I relied upon, who made me feel a sense of security wouldn''t want me. It was way too cruel.


    I sobbed again recalling their words.


    "Innu. Stop crying, my child. Aren''t you, my strong princess?"


    Grandpa caressed my head as he again wiped down my tears. "Come, sit with me. Come." He took me to his chair and made me sit on it. He then lifted the glass of water that would always stay in his study and handed it to me.


    "Innu is the best girl. She has always been and she will always be one. Regardless of who tells you what, always remember Grandpa''s word, Innu. Innu is a miracle. Innu is magic," Grandpa held my hand and placed it closer to my heart, "Innu just needs to discover the magic that lies within her and let me tell you, the day she does that... she would create miracles... the miracles people have only heard about."


    Those words were too heavy for my understanding but somehow I couldn''t feel the weight. They sounded great and I felt as if I was made to create a difference, an impact on people''s life.


    "Are you being honest, Grandpa?" I asked, still battling the rising insecurity.


    Grandpa softly slapped his both hands on my cheeks, scooping them in his large palms. "Has Grandpa ever lied to Innu?"


    "Never," I said instantly. Grandpa was the most honest man I had known.


    "Am I really magic, Grandpa?" I still needed my dose of assurance. The harsh words of my classmates were too powerful to forget. I needed a distraction from them even if it was for a short while and


    Grandpa''s theory about magic had really fascinated me.


    "Yes, Innu."


    Grandpa never got tired of giving me whatever I needed and at this point in time... it was the assurance that I did.


    Grandpa got me thinking about a lot of things that I had never thought about earlier. "So... does that mean that I would be able to do the magic as those people in the television shows do?" My fingertip was on my nose as I looked at Grandpa, utterly confused. I had visualized the way people fly over brooms, move their hands and make things disappear, and do what not! Could I really do all of that?


    I grew even more confused, hearing Grandpa laugh at me.


    "No, Innu. You won''t be able to anything that your tiny mind is fantasizing about."


    I frowned. I crossed my arms to my chest, glaring at Grandpa.


    "Our Innu is the cutest." Grandpa pinched my cheeks before he lifted me up and made me stand on the chair. Now, our height was almost the same.


    Grandpa took my hands in his before he began in an intense voice. The kind of the one that was firm and determined. The kind of the one that was too sincere to disregard.


    "You are special, Innu, so is your magic. You would change peoples'' lives."


    "I would change peoples'' lives?"


    "Hmm. Hmm. You would. Just believe in yourself and never give up. Holding on regardless of how tough the situation is, regardless of how badly you want to give up, regardless of how harsh and hard life gets for you, is the key to finding the magic within you. Promise me, you would never give up, Innu. Promise me, you would always hold on. Promise me."


    "I promise, Grandpa."


    ***


    "I promise, Grandpa." My voice broke as I uttered those words again. I was out of memory lane but memories did not leave me.


    If I was able to survive despite the terrifying situations of life then it was because of Grandpa and the promise that I had made to Grandpa. Whenever destiny and people in life would hit a new low, making it unbearable for me not to break down, Grandpa''s words were the comfort that kept me going. His invisible pat on my head and unsaid soothing words had really helped me hold on even after he was gone.


    "I miss you, Grandpa. I miss you so much." I cried out aloud, hiding my face in the pillows.


    I pulled the pillows closer and hugged them, while I continued to sob. A couple of moments later, a hand crawled around my stomach which made me cry more. Eshan was back and was seeing how ridiculously miserable I was being. I hated it.


    He slowly leaned on me to hug from my back yet not putting much weight on me. I shifted, lying on my back and circled my hands around him. "I miss him, Eshan. I miss him. "


    **


    Unedited

 Chapter 160 - Your Deadline Ends Tomorrow

    |Eshan|


    I sighed feeling helpless.


    Innaya''s cries pierced my heart yet, I couldn''t help her. Shedding tears was a good choice to relieve her troubled heart. There was no other alternative. On other days I would have said some comforting words to make her stop crying, but today I could not. When I, myself, wanted to cry out my pain.


    I knew grandpa''s death anniversary would be a difficult day for her. That was why I didn''t want to leave her alone. In front of her insistence, I had no other option. I had to leave. I decided to give her space and some alone time. I needed it too. Which was why I had left for the office.


    However, I couldn''t leave no matter how much I wanted. Thus, I had driven out of the house but instead of going to the office I had parked the car at some distance away from our house. I spent two hours in the car, controlling my own emotions. I did not want to fall weak before Innaya. She had only me to rely on. If I were to fall weak, who was going to be there for her?


    I had returned very soon, knowing too well that she would be a crying mess. I was so right. I had found her crying miserably. She had cried herself to sleep.


    I had moved her to our bedroom after she fell asleep. I patted her back, holding her sleeping figure in my arms as we both lay on our bed. Her eyes had swollen. I would need to remember to put ice on it.


    Innaya stirred in her sleep, occasionally whimpering. My heart went out for the little girl in her who wanted her grandpa. I couldn''t fulfill this wish of hers, no matter how much I wanted to. I just hoped that she wouldn''t fall sick because of all the stress she was taking. She had just recovered from her fever not so long ago, and her being anemic made her more prone to infections.


    "Grandpa," Innaya whimpered in her sleep.


    "There there." I wiped the tears that still rolled out from her close eyelids. Running my fingers in her hair, I gently massaged her forehead to remove those frown lines.


    My mobile vibrated inside my pants pocket. I had no intention of answering it, but it continued to buzz. The woman nestling so trustingly in my arms, not masking her vulnerabilities was too important than any call. However, I was afraid that the continuous vibration would disturb her. So, reaching out on the right side of my pocket, I pulled out my mobile.


    The screen came awake when I slid my thumb across the lock.


    5 miscalls.


    Just who the hell was so desperate to continue calling?


    I clicked on the call logs. I could not help but feel irritated when I saw the caller ID. All the calls that went unanswered belonged to the good for nothing cousin brother of mine. Just as I was about to lock my mobile and keep it out, a message arrived. I suddenly had an urge to throttle him.


    "Brother, your deadline ends tomorrow. I''ll be waiting for the papers."


    I had actually forgotten about him. His insignificant presence in our life was no more than that of any annoying fly that kept buzzing around my ear. I knew his threats were harmful, but I had a way to counter him. Giving him his shares back was not a big deal. I could have it done at any time. What I wanted to know was how much information he had in his hands.


    I shared a very good relationship with Nikhil uncle, his dad. Moreover, he knew about my marriage. So, if told him about his son''s action, I knew he would handle the matter for me. But, I never planned to get him to involve. Rey was nothing but a spoiled brat I could easily takedown. I just wanted to be assured that he was only that.


    I sent a text to Carl asking him to come to my place with the results of the task I had entrusted him to. Before going ahead with my plans regarding Rey, I wanted to tie all the loose ends. Rey had dared to put his foot into forbidden territory. I would make sure that he paid the price for it.


    ***


    I glanced at Carl as I tapped my fingers on the armrest. We were sitting in the living room. Very reluctantly I had detached myself from Innaya once she had stopped crying and whimpering. Handling things before she woke up was the best choice.


    "Your time limit is up," I commented, caressing Fortune. Fortune had jumped on the sofa beside me once I had taken my place. His inquisitive eyes would time and again glance around as if searching for my wife.


    "I''m done with the work too, Mr. Eshan. Here is what we have found. Everything has been wiped out from Mr. Rey''s laptop, mobile and his house. He doesn''t have anything to hold against you," Carl answered, forwarding me a black file.


    "Are you sure?" I asked just to make confirm that nothing was left behind. I would hate it if something went wrong because of him.


    "One hundred percent." Carl confidently nodded.


    I nodded in satisfaction after I went through his findings and the work he did. "Good job. Continue monitoring him, and take actions if he crossed the line."


    "Yes, sir."


    "What about that man on the beach?" I looked in his eyes. Even after a week, I couldn''t forget that man. I wanted to know more about him.


    "Yes, sir. We found about him," Carl replied.


    My eyes narrowed down. Thankfully, they found about him. I could finally have answers about my worries.


    "He was the local ruffian. He was arrested by the police three days ago. The details are in this file."


    Ruffian? My heart skipped a beat. I literally snatched the file from his hand.


    "It''s his strategy. He scares off people with horror and scary voices and then rob them," Carl explained what I was reading.


    I had not expected that outcome honestly. It was a good and bad finding. Good for the reason that he was not someone following us for some animosity. Bad because things could have gone in a very wrong way had things taken an ugly turn that day.


    However, why even after reading the details and knowing that the man was behind the bar, my heart wasn''t accepting it?


    I kept having the feeling that something was missing. That day, the feelings I got after looking at that guy, weren''t letting my mind to feel at ease.


    Maybe, I was overthinking. I hoped that it was that case only. I hoped that it was only my mind overthinking, and there was nothing more to it.

 Chapter 161 - Her Dependence (1)

    |Eshan|


    "Anything else, sir?" Carl''s polite question put the full stop my wondering thoughts.


    Startled, I looked at him as he patiently waited in his spot. Looking through my memories I wondered if I had any more instructions for him. I didn''t have anything else for now except that ruffian.


    "Investigate that ruffian bit more. See if he has other alternative motives," I commanded. It was better to be safe than sorry. Digging more into that guy''s background would cost me some money and resources. If nothing comes out of the search my heart finally could rest in peace, easing all the worries.


    "Sir, we''ve already dug out his past. There''s nothing to be skeptical about him. However, I would again put my boys on it, and have them go through everything again," Carl replied. He didn''t display any impatience or frown on my demand. I liked his professionalism. He kept his employer''s concerns and doubts in his mind, instead of being hasty.


    Fortune snuggled beside my thigh, rubbing his head, demanding attention. I smiled looking at his puppy eyes. I raised my head and looked back at Carl. "Then let''s end it for now."


    After shaking hands with me, he left.


    Lifting my head, I looked at my left side where Parth had been sitting quietly. For my plans concerning Rey, I needed Parth''s help. So, I had called him over as well


    "Parth, do you think I''m worrying unnecessarily?" I asked, scratching Fortune''s neck as he turned on his stomach.


    "Can I first read both the files? I should better know properly before reaching to any conclusion."


    I nodded, pushing the files away. Parth picked up the file I had slid in his direction. His eyes scanned the contents.


    "E-Eshan?"


    My head snapped toward the staircase when I heard an extremely low hoarse voice of my wife. I thought I was hearing things, but I found Innaya being present there. Innaya stood in the middle of the staircase with her swollen eyes, looking confusedly and worryingly at me. Her hair disheveled, face pale, she looked so worn out. My heart went out to her. The fact that she sought for me without caring about herself warmed my heart.


    Something akin to the feather caressing my inside floated all over me and I couldn''t help but rush forward. Fortune was one stepped ahead of me. He had four legs compared to me as he leaped in the air from the sofa. Afraid, he would frighten her; I increased my pace as I called out his name.


    "Fortune, NO."


    However, I froze in my tracks when Fortune slowed down once he reached near Innaya. Cautiously staring at her, he rubbed his head against her leg. I did not know what I was waiting for, or what I was expecting.


    Contrary to everything I could think of, Innaya crouched down and sat on the staircase. Her expression didn''t change much.


    "Sir?" Parth''s voice made me aware of his presence. Breaking out of my stupor, I climbed the stairs wishing nothing more than sending Fortune back to Arjun''s place.


    Innaya hadn''t reacted in the worst way. She did not have a panic attack. It was a good thing that she seemed dazed from her sleep. Her fears were yet to raise their head, and for whatever reason that happened, I was happy.


    "Why did you come down? You should have slept a bit longer," I said as I sat beside her, creating a distance between her and Fortune. She innocently raised her head at me, looking through her painfully swollen eyes. "You weren''t there," she answered. My heart flipped at the sheer innocence and trust she had placed in me.


    The first thing she wanted was to find me before her eyes. If I were not there, she would start searching for me. Her dependence on me was heart-touching.


    "Sorry. How are you feeling?" I caressed her cheek, feeling dried tears under my fingers.


    "What were you doing here?" Innaya asked, frowning at me.


    "Nothing. Some office work." Fortune tried to get in-between us.


    Looking at his fallen face, I did not have the heart to deny him anymore. Maybe, he could help Innaya to deal with her grief. Gazing at those puppy eyes, no one could resist an urge to touch him, love him. Though the part of me didn''t want to experiment with this, I just decided to go with it.


    "Do you want to touch him?" I asked her while watching for a change in her expression. If she was uncomfortable I would drop the idea then and there only. She just needed to say the word.


    Innaya fell in thoughts. She stared at Fortune first before looking at me. She then turned again to stare at Fortune. She blinked her eyes as she wondered out loud."Should I?"


    I brought back my palm before Fortune''s nose. "Look, you can do this way," I replied to her. Innaya watched me carefully. Fortune first sniffed my finger, and though I knew he was familiar with my smell, I waited just to let Innaya know. I then slowly brought my hand over his head as I petted his back.


    Innaya nodded her head. She just repeated my actions. It was as if she wasn''t aware of her cynophobia. There were no traces of fear across her face. She resembled a curious child at that moment. I couldn''t help but reach out to tuck back the tendril that had fallen on her face, covering her face from my view.


    Unconsciously, I leaned into her. I wanted to kiss her. My stupid heart flipped at the way she bit her lower lip in nervousness.


    "Ahem¡­ sir."


    Startled, I came to the present when someone cleared the throat. It startled Innaya as well for she almost jumped in her place.


    Ah! My life. I had so many mosquitoes buzzing in my life. They knew when to enter to spoil my time with my wife.

 Chapter 162 - Be My Personal Assistant

    |Innaya|


    Once again, I had woken up to the cold bed. Eshan wasn''t beside me. Opening my eyes felt a huge task as they were swollen. They always did whenever I lost control over my emotions. The first thing I did after getting out of the bed was to find Eshan.


    He had returned. I knew it, and he was somewhere in the house. Maybe, he was trying to be strong for me. In the solitude would he shed the pretense of being strong and unaffected. I knew he had a lot to handle on his plate, and above everything he prioritized me. So, it was only natural for me to worry about him.


    On not finding him in the study, I changed the direction to the living room. There I found him perched upon the sofa, caressing Fortune. A tiny bit of smile bloomed across my lips finding that he wasn''t alone. Pets were a great company for they provided one a peace and calm company rather than being noisy like human beings.


    When I tried calling his name, my throat screamed in protest. It hurt as the dryness made me cough up a bit. My voice came out very feeble, yet Eshan heard me. His face snapped in the direction where I stood, and seconds later Fortune rushed over, beating Eshan to it.


    "Fortune, NO," Eshan screamed, but fortune did not heed to it, nor did he stop.


    Fortune''s eagerness for some reason did not scare me. Rather when he thoughtfully slowed down before reaching me and just slumped on the stair one step below the one I was standing upon, made me feel touched.


    He knew how to behave. Maybe, that''s why they said that pets could sense your mood and make it better. Little cautiously, I sat down on the stair, keeping my distance from him.


    What unfolded later, was something I would have never thought. Eshan showed me new perspectives always. He did not impose his thoughts or tried to make me believe in his words. He gave me time. He waited for me to take that step and make a choice. Just as despite knowing about my fears about dogs, he was showing me a way to do what I wanted.


    I wanted to touch Fortune, and he was showing me how to. Tentatively I followed Eshan''s actions, however, I was startled when I heard a throat clearing followed by a male voice.


    "Ahem... sir."


    My head snapped upward so quickly that I worried about getting a whiplash.


    "Who''re you?"


    "Why are you still here?"


    I looked at Eshan when we both asked the questions at the same time. Eshan looked a little annoyed and embarrassed. I wondered why though.


    Turning my gaze away from him to the youth standing near the sofa whose ears had turned red, I frowned. I remembered never seeing him before. The gold-rimmed spectacles of his reminded me of grandpa. The style was awfully familiar.


    I felt a burning sensation in my eyes. I pushed back those tears. Instead, I stubbornly stared at him questioningly. Who was he? Why it looked as if he was embarrassed?


    "He''s Parth, my assistant. He''s someone I consider younger brother as well," said Eshan as his eyes softened when he introduced Parth to me.


    "And, Parth, meet your sister-in-law and my beautiful wife, Mrs. Innaya Eshan Singhaniya." Eshan wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me in his arms. I blushed at the proximity. How proudly and intimately he introduced me to someone other than family warmed my insides.


    The thought of how it would be if we made our marriage public, made me feel delighted as well as fearful. Sometimes families as powerful and as influential as us made nothing easy. Being in the eyes of media could be disastrous for one''s personal life - both mentally and physically. If they were to dig more into my personal life, nothing would remain peaceful for me.


    "Hello Ma''am." The man stuttered.


    "What Ma''am? Call her sister-in-law," Eshan chided him.


    "Hey." I smiled at him. I knew nothing else about him. I had nothing else to talk about as I had never been a sociable person.


    "Oh... Nice to meet you sister-in-law." Parth returned my smile.


    After the whole emotionally draining day, I had no energy to be entertaining. It then hit me like a thunderbolt about how poorly I was dressed. My face must be looking like a zombie with puffed eyes. I hadn''t even bothered to wipe away my tears before coming to find Eshan.


    On an impulse, I covered my face with my palms. Making a gap in my fingers, I peeked out through them. Parth and Eshan looked confusingly at me.


    "I''ll come later, Sir." Parth very cleverly excused himself after a moment of silence. Eshan didn''t stop him either.


    With Parth leaving us alone, suddenly awkwardness filled the room.


    Back then my father had taught me in his way of insult''s what it meant to come before his guests with untidy appearance. That incidence of his venomous words came awake in my mind, refreshing my memory.


    From the corner of my eyes, I looked at Eshan, wondering what his thoughts were. Though deep down, I knew, he was not like that, but men didn''t like the untidy appearance of their wives outside the bedroom, and never before the eyes of other men.


    Eshan''s reaction once again surprised me. He had a smile on his face as his eyes held a warmth for the youth who left. I sighed internally in relief.


    "That kid..." Eshan laughed at the way Parth flew from our home.


    "Why didn''t I see him before?" I tilted my head, tucking my legs underneath. I found a comfortable position and started probing more still hiding my face behind my palm. Knowing Eshan did not mind my untidy looks made me feel at ease, yet I still kept my awful face away from his sight.


    Eshan mimicked me as he shifted his body and sat facing me. With both of us sitting face to face on the same step, made the space narrow down, leaving only small space. Eshan''s knees brushed against mine, and when he scooted further they pressed firmly.


    "Hmm... Now thinking about it, I also don''t know why. We''ve been married for so long, and I wonder why I hadn''t even introduced you to my secretary yet. I think it''s time to take you to my office," Eshan said as he brushed back the hair from my face, pulling my hands away from my face alongside.


    "Won''t media make a ruckus if they get wind of it?" I blinked my eyes. It was the reason we didn''t publicize our marriage until I completed my education. I wanted to pursue a master''s degree and handle grandpa''s business. Mom was looking after it, for now, I wanted to relieve her burden by shouldering her responsibilities.


    "Hmm... Yeah, my wife wants to learn first." Eshan made a sad face before he leaned and softly hit his forehead against mine.


    He pulled back and looked at me mischievously. I felt nervous watching that grin appearing on his face. He was planning something. Something which might not be too pleasant for me.


    "Don''t worry. How about interning at my company for half a year? You can learn faster that way." Eshan stated as his eyes glittered with mischief. I knew he wasn''t done, he had something more to add.


    "What department I should intern?"I cautiously asked him, avoiding the way his face was turning more and more gleeful.


    "My dear wife, how about working in the CEO''s office, to know things better. Be my personal assistant."


    There. He said it. I so knew things weren''t as rosy as he made them.


    "That way, we can always be together and work on progressing our love. Spending more time together would give us more chances of ¡ª"


    Eshan then winked. He had the nerve to wink. But, why it made me feel shy. Lowering my head, I scrambled on my feet.


    Eshan''s chuckles followed me as I disappeared from his vision, making my way to our bedroom.

 Chapter 163 - He Stole Away My Breath

    |Innaya|


    "Here, this cold compress will help you with that swelling." Eshan placed the cold compress wrapped in a thin towel over my eyes.


    Involuntarily, I squeezed my eyes as I felt the cold sensation. I wasn''t prepared for this once I came out of the washroom. Eshan did not give me a slight chance to be prepared for his sudden onslaught of care and love.


    "Easy," Eshan hissed when my neck shrank back.


    "Yeah, should have thought before putting it. A little warning would have been better," I sarcastically replied, moving away from his hand that was pressing that cold compress against my eyes.


    "Oh." Eshan''s face contorted to the one of grimace as realization dawned him.


    "Oh."


    I then took notice of his distracted face. Taking away the compress from his hand, I placed it gently on my left eye, observing him from the right one.


    "Did you have lunch?" I asked him after a good amount of silence. He wasn''t saying anything, so I took the matters in my hand.


    "No, let''s have it together. And, it''s now dinner. We missed our lunch," Eshan plainly said as he held my hand and dragged me out. Along the way, he nagged for skipping the meals. "I won''t mention today. From tomorrow onwards don''t skip the meals. You know what the doctor said about it. You need to pay attention to your diet. You need to take medicines as well."


    I kept nodding my head as I let him pull me, showering his concern for my good health.


    ***


    I wonder why lately the sky was being deprived of stars. It would be dark, desolate, and sad. I disliked witnessing it. Especially, this night I wanted to see the stars and find my grandpa up above there between billions of them. Standing alone in the balcony of our bedroom, my eyes desperately searched for any star in the sky. All I could see were the clouds and the dark sky.


    From behind me, came the voice of my husband softly chiding me, "You''ll feel cold if you keep standing outside in the wind." He wrapped a shawl around me. Maybe, he felt it wasn''t enough because his large arms came around my back next, pulling my unsuspecting body in his arms, locking fingers of both hands around my middle.


    "I''m not that fragile, Eshan," I quietly muttered.


    "For me, you are, Tesoro." Eshan placed a lingering kiss on my cheek before his head rested on my left shoulder.


    I sighed. Arguing with him on this topic was worthless. For me, he was fragile as well. He hid his vulnerabilities well. And, that made him more fragile in my eyes, for behind that mask of strong fa?ade was the man with the heart of a child.


    With him holding me, I grabbed the opportunity of acquiring the strength from him. All his efforts have been to make my mood better; I could not ruin his efforts. Through the shawl and fabric separating us, I could feel the warmth from him.


    He nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck, peppering small kisses from time to time, without saying anything. I released another deep sigh feeling a little better.


    "How are your eyes now? Are they still hurting?" Eshan spun me around in his hold before I could answer him. "Let me take a look," he said as he started accessing my not-so-swollen eyes.


    "Alright, stop it Eshan. Thanks to your remedies it''s fine now." I held his inquisitive gaze and replied with gratitude.


    After that cold compress episode, he had not stopped at only that. He chopped some cold cuc.u.mber and had me keep those slices on my eyelids. Then he went a step ahead and had me do the home remedies he found on the internet. He was treating such small thing as if it was something serious.


    I have had swollen eyes before as well. Who hadn''t? People dealt with them without fussing so much over it.


    "Oh okay. That''s good then." Eshan smiled. I observed his smile for a while. Tonight he seemed less talkative. I failed to understand what was the reason behind it. If it was because of grandpa''s death anniversary then it was okay, but why did I feel it had other reasons behind it?


    "Sometimes, it''s not good to bear everything alone. I used to think otherwise. I often hid things in my heart before, afraid to hurt my loved ones. I didn''t want to trouble mom, grandma. I shared many things with grandpa, but then there were times I couldn''t do that. Something would always hold me back," I confessed as I looked in his deep eyes, gazing at me with tenderness.


    He caressed the side of my face, allowing me to complete what I wanted without interruption.


    "I will say this again. Until that day when I lost you, I realized how important it is to open up. Those days I spent apart from you, I realized it more and more. Eshan, that''s why I want you to understand this as well. I know you have something in your mind. It''s understandable. However, I feel that I need to know if it''s troubling you." I raised my palm and brought in between us, placing it on his chest where his heart was beating.


    "As long as you want... you''ll find me here, beside you. To listen to what you have to say. To hold you, just like you hold me. The way you want to provide me comfort, I want the same. I have no desire to intrude on your personal life. I understand you won''t want to share everything. But, if you ever want to talk about it, remember you have me. I don''t know sweet words, I wouldn''t know how a wife should act, but I know how to return someone''s goodwill and love¡ª"


    My words died down in my lips for Eshan leaned in, and his lips stole the words in the searing kiss. My voice was lost as I felt the feverish need of him. It was as if he wanted to convey something. The insistent, probing lips of his nibbled, sucked, peppered, and played around with mine.


    Whatever I was saying went forgotten when his arm sn.a.k.e.d around my back and pulled me in. With the help of his other hand, he supported my neck and dived in with all he had got.


    The air inside my lungs was getting knocked away with every stroke of his tantalizing tongue. I did not understand why he would suddenly kiss me when I was in the middle of talking. I wanted to let him know that I was there for him, just the way he was for me. I had noticed his distracted look. Something was bothering him.


    I didn''t want to press him for answers, but at the same time, I couldn''t bear to let him suffer alone. So, I had raised the topic tonight. Who knew, instead of getting answers, Eshan would leave me speechless as he stole away my breath.

 Chapter 164 - Seems like I am not keeping your mind and heart occupied.

    |Innaya|


    The beauty in those long morning walks even when the sun didn''t even appear in the skies is very different. Having someone holding your hand, urging you, looking after your well-being by your side is incredible. Experiencing such small movements with Eshan made me realize that having a life partner was kind of beautiful.


    One man in my life made me hate every single relationship and the people. The seeds of hatred and disgust he had planted in my heart had grown by hundreds of folds as the time had passed. Never would I have imagined being shown the different side of the world he had imprisoned me with.


    Perhaps, gods had taken pity on my misfortune to have tied me with the man walking beside me. I could not help the warmth of his love from spreading across my stone caged heart. The lock wasn''t opened with a key but broken with the hammer of his persistence. I had started to understand what the love of a partner could do to you.


    I stole a quick glance at that face which would leave me with extreme giddiness for having him in my life. I wouldn''t have looked at my own face as much as I looked at his these days. Without having him beside me, unease would creep and claw at my throat.


    I suppressed a smile when Eshan''s eyes glanced down at the same time, catching me off guard. Immediately I averted my eyes, then again allowing my lips to curl in the smile of contentment.


    "Are these walks well?" Eshan chuckled, squeezing my palm.


    I nodded in agreement. They indeed were very good. "Why would you suddenly start this morning walk routine though?"


    I had this question in my mind for very long. Last week after the day of grandpa''s death anniversary, he told me about waking up early the next morning. I did, and we spent a good amount of time strolling in the backyard.


    That day he didn''t take me anywhere else. Maybe, it was just his way of making me comfortable with this new development. The next day it extended to the area around our house. And, after a week we progressed to the garden of the colony taking Fortune along with us.


    That night he hadn''t said anything else, not even mentioning what bothered him. Instead, he slept holding me in his arms. After that, either he had managed to solve those problems or he had perfected the art of masking his emotions well. He did not let me feel that he had any problems as such. So, I let the topic slid away for the time being.


    "Early morning walks are good for health," Eshan replied, and then he added smiling widely, "I get to enjoy this time with my beautiful wife. Why would I miss the chance?"


    Amused at the way he did not miss a single chance to flirt, I shook my head. Nonetheless, a small smile bloomed across my lips.


    "Woof, woof."


    Fortune ran ahead of us, time to time looking back as to make sure that we were following his lead. I found his actions adorable. Day by day, I was getting closer to him. The fear in my heart was melting away with the harmless and friendly approach of his. I had yet not touched him, but I was hoping to.


    As I was looking at Fortune, my eyes fell upon the man jogging on the opposite side of the road. His tall frame suddenly reminded me of Arjun for he had the same blue eyes that of Arjun''s. For a moment our eyes had connected, and I wondered who he was. I had rarely seen that eye color in the people I came in contact with. That man jogged away, but his appearance reminded me of the brother who wasn''t blood-related but loved me more dearly.


    "Do you know, when will Arjun return?" I casually asked Eshan, trying hard to not make it obvious. I definitely missed him. He had been there for me when no one was. He chose to stand by me and showed me the right path. Somewhere, he played an important role in bringing Eshan''s and my life back on the track. How could I not miss him?


    Eshan paused for a moment as if my question threw him off guard. With his abrupt movement, my hand got pulled, and my feet came to stop. I turned my head to look back at him.


    Peering directly into my eyes, he inquired, "Why? Are you worried about him?"


    "Yes," I answered honestly. There was nothing to hide from him. I knew he missed Arjun as well, but he had an idea about Arjun''s whereabouts or at least where he was. Unlike me who was clueless.


    Eshan narrowed his eyes as his face inched dangerously close. I shifted back a little, not at all afraid but feeling rather bashful with the proximity of his handsome face.


    "Seems like I am not keeping your mind and heart occupied," he whispered to himself. It was so visible that he wanted me to hear his double meaning words. Anyone hearing his low deep voice would misunderstand the situation, and think his words implied something very intimate. Only I knew the truth.


    I pulled my hand out of his grasp as I backed away.


    "What are you talking about?" I stammered. I turned on my heels without waiting for his reply and started walking again. Tips of my ears had turned red, and that made me walk faster to hide from him. For some reason, I couldn''t face him as my mind was recalling those romantic and intimate moments between leads of novels.


    These days, with how brazen he was being, I couldn''t help but wonder what he had in his mind.


    "Trying to run away? Not so soon, Tesoro." I heard Eshan''s chuckles.


    As his voice started getting close, I sprinted and then broke into the run. Fortune assuming it to be the game started running speedily ahead as if he thought I was chasing him. He wanted to play, it seemed.


    My attention temporarily shifted to the Fortune, so I failed to notice someone approaching me from the front. By the time I realized it was too late. I had bumped into the person. The impact of the collision made me retreat as soon as I found my balance.


    "Well, well. What a perfect morning it is!"


    ***

 Chapter 165 - Dear husband, are you planning to memorize her name?

    |Innaya|


    They say the first impression is the last impression. I never believed in it. Because people knew how to put up the front before others. I had the best example before my eyes. I couldn''t see what kind of a demon my father was under that pretense of loving and caring man. Then what right I had to believe that the first impression was the last impression? None. I would be the last person to ever trust in that.


    Keeping everything aside, I could not help but feel that the woman I had just bumped into did not harbor any good intentions. I stared at the woman in a black sports bra and red shorts, smiling widely at the person behind me.


    She had earphones plugged in her ears. Her neon color snickers stood out the most apart from that bright red lipstick. It looked as if she had just drunk the blood. That thought made me cringe internally. What was I thinking? Drank blood? Seriously? What was she? Vampire? Who drinks blood?


    Despite her seductive appearance which was miles opposite of someone coming for the jog, I knew I had to apologize. It was my fault for bumping into her. However, the word of apology died down on my lips as I found her eyes glimmering with unhidden excitement. Without bothering to look at me, she strode past me. I frowned watching her leisurely trotting towards the man behind me.


    "My my! Hey handsome. What a way to start my morning!"


    I almost gagged at the way that woman started flirting with Eshan in that sickeningly honeyed voice. I knew my displeasure at bumping into her was increasing from the way her eyes racked over Eshan from head to toe. She wasn''t even being least considerate about how her actions looked to onlookers.


    "I thought I would never see you again. Ah, god truly took mercy on this pitiful one!" She dramatically sighed.


    ''Again?'' My ears perked up as she started talking more as if they were familiar. I raised my eyes and looked directly at Eshan. The woman shifted at the same moment, and then I couldn''t see her expressions, which I assumed were of the kind I wouldn''t like. Besides, her way of talking really made my ears twitched.


    Eshan helplessly looked at me as she blocked his path.


    "No, no, handsome. Not today. Today, I won''t let you go without taking your number." The woman adamantly stayed firm on her position. "How about coming to my place for coffee? I make the best coffee." She flicked her hair back, proudly posing with her right hand resting on her bare waist.


    ''Shameless.''


    As much as I found her annoying, her actions of drawing Eshan towards her made me feel her liking for Eshan. To anyone else watching from the distance, her provocative actions would look like a chatting between two close friends. However, I knew better.


    Having seen her blatantly ignoring the growing discomfort on Eshan''s face, and her continuous failed attempts of catching his attention, I realized her intentions too well.


    I decided to wait and see what Eshan would do. Firstly, I did not know who she was. Secondly, I wondered why my husband looked so stumped. He could have made his way around, no matter how pushy she was being. His lack of response made it looked as if he knew her. How closely he knew her, remained to be determined until I asked him.


    "Innaya?" Eshan called out from the distance when he found that I had no intention of stepping in. Why should I? He was a grown-up man after all. He managed his company and so many people daily, so how could a measly woman be any obstacle hindering him? He was just not showing his temper for some reason.


    "Huh?" Making no attempt of moving away or helping him, I just stayed put. Watching the woman in the clothing that was too bold for my liking, I wondered how it made her feel. I would never have the courage to wear something like that in the outside. Heck, I didn''t even wear that in the comfort of my own home.


    "Amy. A M Y... Do you understand? Handsome, how could you forget my name? Nobody forgets Amy." She did that hair flick action again, and I could visualize her thick red lipstick coated lips forming a pout from the way she was whining.


    Eshan folded his arms across his chest, not bothering to pay attention to the woman who addressed herself as Amy- whom nobody forgets.


    "Done enjoying my plight?" Eshan spoke, and his eyes held a hint of the plea.


    I understood that he did not want to create a scene. Though there weren''t many people, to begin with, or to put simple none were. However, I understood his reasoning. He was not the person to insult a woman. Moreover, he was restraining himself from getting angry before my eyes.


    I sighed. Letting go of my earlier wish of being a bystander, I decided to intervene. I could not handle watching him being stuck, and on top of that, the face he made had tugged at my heart.


    "Dear husband, are you planning to memorize her name? Shouldn''t you be doing it for this wife of yours?" I raised my voice. I mentally face-palmed myself for being so coquettish. Was there any need for it? Maybe, the jealous wife in me was raising its head.


    I tapped my right slipper clad foot on the pavement. I had no intention of going near to that woman. Eshan wanted a way out, I was giving him the opportunity.


    It seemed like my voice and words shocked that woman for she abruptly spun in her place. That gave the opportunity to Eshan. He made use of it as he sidestepped her and rushed to me. I suppressed the laughter bubbling in my chest at the relieved expression on his face.


    "WTF. Wife? Hey. Woman, who are you? Who''s your husband?" Amy also moved toward us, but she was a little late.


    Eshan had wrapped his hand around my waist, pulling me by his side. "I''m her husband. Stop creating a scene here. My wife has spoken, and now you know this man here is not available. Let''s leave, love. We won''t be coming here again. This place had lots of annoying mosquitoes."


    This time I laughed loudly hearing Eshan''s words. I thought he wouldn''t insult the woman, but I never thought his sharp tongue would be merciless.


    He had shut her up instantly. I only got a brief moment to catch the fallen expression on Amy''s face as if someone stole her money before Eshan pulled me in the direction of our home.


    ***

 Chapter 166 - Oh! My wife thinks –

    |Innaya|


    "I don''t want to go."


    I failed to suppress the smile bubbling on my lips as Eshan made that puppy face. Since the time we returned from the morning walk, he was whining like a child. He said he didn''t wish to go to work, leaving me alone. For whatever reason he had that thought, I knew agreeing with him wouldn''t do me any good.


    His flirting would always render me speechless with embarrassment. Even in the morning, his way of showing off before that woman had shocked me. Who knew he could be that upfront before strangers as well. When we were walking back, he told me that he did not know her. Her sudden appearance had shocked him, thus he had failed to retort timely.


    "Eshan, stop sulking like a child. You aren''t small anymore."


    "Oh. My wife thinks ¨C"


    "Stop." I covered his mouth by placing my hand. My eyes had widened already. I didn''t want to listen to him sprouting any more nonsense.


    "Here is your lunch. Please, look at the clock and get going," I rushed to say as I hurriedly pushed the bag with his lunch toward him.


    Instead of responding, Eshan''s lips curved in a smile under the skin of my palm as his hands slithered forward pulling me. My other hand landed on his chest to support myself from falling headfirst on his chest.


    ''What the!''


    Eshan, however, did not give me any chance to think anything further as he did something outrageous I would have never imagined. I instantly pulled my hand from his lips back as if burned. I stared at him incredulously.


    Had he gone insane?


    My eyes alternated between my palm and his mouth. His mouth curled in a smirk and then a full-blown smile blossomed on his pink lips, showing his pearly white teeth. For a moment, my heart had frozen watching him. Why did it felt so refreshing?


    When Eshan chuckled, breaking my reverie, I found myself blushing under his playful gaze. I had almost forgotten about how he had licked my palm that was preventing him from speaking anything.


    Averting my eyes, I tried to make my face stern. However, I failed so miserably. I could not bring myself to stop from turning red.


    "Ah!" Eshan sighed loudly.


    It just made me feel like digging a hole and bury myself in it when Eshan''s fingers found their way across my neck. I was not a ticklish person, but his fingers leisurely skimming across my skin made tingles shot over my skin.


    I wanted to raise my head and take a look at why was he sighing. I did not know if I was able to handle the emotions swirling in his eyes.


    "Now, I seriously don''t want to go." Eshan lamented again, successfully breaking through my shyness.


    I slightly shoved his chest, narrowing my eyes.


    "Stop dawdling. Go," I said, pushing at his chest.


    Eshan reluctantly pulled his hands away. If he wanted to hold me, I knew no amount of protest would be able to stop him. His stepping back on his own meant he was exercising self-restraint and dropping the topic.


    "I''ll see you in the evening. Take care." Quickly leaning further, he placed a lingering kiss on my forehead and left without a backward glance.


    I sighed watching his departing figure. He truly was a different man.


    ***


    "Done."


    I leaned back in the chair, stretching my hands above my head. After spending around three hours, I had ordered some books online on business management. There was still a half a year''s time gap for the admission and entrance exam. With so many new developments in my life, they have left an impact on my studies as well. If I wanted to pursue higher education, I needed to work on polishing my knowledge. I did not have much to do every day after Eshan left for the office. This provided me with plenty of time on working on my goal.


    The books I ordered would be arriving soon. I placed the laptop on the table and stretched my legs in front. I yawned feeling a little sleepy. It was close to two in the afternoon. After waking up at four-thirty in the morning, I couldn''t help but feel sleepy.


    When I blinked my watery eyes, I suddenly noticed that Fortune was lying quietly on my side. I did not realize, but he had been sitting there for very long, almost from the time I sat there and busied myself with online shopping.


    When our eyes met, he suddenly became alert. His tail started wagging in all possible directions. It started with the slow-motion before it gained speed. It left me feeling amazed at what little attention did to him.


    "Are you happy?" I gently cooed him like a baby.


    Feeling brave, I stood up and moved to sit down on the floor beside the dog bed he had dragged at some point of the time near the sofa. I was being brave, not stupid. I had left a considerable distance between us and as a safety precaution, I took the cushion from the chair as a form of some barrier.


    Keeping my eyes on him, I slowly lowered myself in the sitting position. I knew my posture was a little defensive, but who could blame me. Though I wasn''t bitten by any dog, the fright my childhood self had received was enough for me to run away at the sight of them.


    Fortune made some sound as if he was answering to my question.


    "Why are you happy? Do you like me?" I knew I was being silly. Fortunately, there was no one around to see my weirdness.


    Apart from Siya, no one had tried to make me face the dogs. The girl loved the dogs, she had one at her home. I had only been once at her place, but the moment I saw that giant dog at her house, I had never gone back there.


    She did not know the story behind my cynophobia. She had tried to make me leave behind my fear, but she had failed in achieving the result she wanted.


    Remembering about Siya suddenly made me realize that I had not seen her in a very long time. Forget about seeing her, I recalled not being in contact with her.


    Last I remember that shopping trip had gone wrong. It was around the time, I had that confrontation with Eshan. After that, I had lost contact with everyone around me. I had locked myself up in our house, drowning in the guilt. It was only this month where things were starting to settle down.


    Should I call her? I carefully thought about it.


    I wanted to, but then thinking again I decided not to. Some things could not be settled on the phone. I also needed to know about her consistent inquires regarding how Eshan treated me.


    The girl had no bad intentions, but there had to be some reason behind it. As far as I knew her, she wouldn''t probe so desperately as much as she did.


    A small feather-like touch brought me out of Siya''s thoughts. Looking down, I noticed Fortune had stealthily crawled near me, and his nose had bumped softly against the back of my palm that was resting on my knee.


    Surprised, at the suddenness of Fortune''s small action I forgot to breathe. I would not say I got scared. It was just a shock. I waited for negative memories to group up and start attacking. I waited for my mind to raise red flags, in a warning. I waited for my heart to start palpitating. I waited for my body to go numb.


    I waited and kept on waiting.


    However, nothing of that sort happened. Instead, I found my mind in a calm state apart from the ripple of pleasant surprise, following those two expectant eyes of Fortune.


    It never happened before when I was expecting to have a panic attack because of a trigger and didn''t have one. I pondered for a while running the situation in my mind.


    Though I failed to reach any concrete answer, I somewhere guessed that it had something to do with my stress level.


    The morning walks, mediation was positively helping me. Along with the vast improvement in my relationship with Eshan also affected me emotionally. Fortune was staying with us in the past days, and he was becoming a part of our small family. I guessed these factors added up lessening my anxiety.


    This realization gave me new hope. The hope of trying to live a mentally healthier life. I wanted to explore the ways of building up my mental health.


    Deciding to take a chance, I brought my palm up and tentatively placed upon Fortune''s head.


    ***

 Chapter 167 - Sometimes, you don’t have a choice...

    |Eshan|


    "Damn it."


    Looking at the crazy traffic on the road, I closed my eyes in frustration. I should not have left home. Instead of being stuck in this long traffic from the past one hour which did not look like clearing any time, I would have enjoyed my beautiful wife''s company.


    Remembering her, my lips automatically curled in a smile. I couldn''t help but recall her honest confession from that night. These days it was her words that would ring in my ears, and the honesty and sincerity behind them would warm my heart.


    Until Innaya expressed or I would say opened up her heart to me that night a week ago, I did not realize how good it feels. Knowing that there is someone who wants you to rely on them, reciprocate your love, make our human heart feel all sort of flutters.


    I knew she was worried about me. I blamed myself for being stuck in a position where I couldn''t share things with her that were bothering me. There would come a time when she would come to know those things. I did not want to burden her with them for a while, not now at least.


    There was a matter of security I had to let her know. Then, the matter of my cousin. Though I had handled both of them, but letting her know the same was troublesome. I did not want her to worry. Also, there was a pressing matter of my family too.


    As we were staying away from my family and hadn''t had contact with them from the last six months, there were some truths Innaya did not know. She did not get a chance to know my family, and the same was the case with my family members. Hence, she simply was unaware of the things in my family, which was now hers as well.


    My eyes regained their focus once I heard the blaring sound of the horn. The traffic had gotten cleared, and as the cars ahead started moving, I started the ignition, driving to the office. The matter with my family temporarily took a backseat in my mind.


    ***


    Parking the car, I entered the building of the company. Usually, I would have directly taken a personal lift from the bas.e.m.e.nt to the fourteenth floor where my cabin was. However, I wanted to take a stroll today and check on the employees and their work.


    Just as I stepped through the door of the technical department, my mobile went off. I paused and brought out my mobile from my pants pocket.


    "Bro, I''m waiting in your cabin."


    Reading the message from Rey, I instantly turned and marched off. How dare he enter inside my cabin? I gritted my teeth recalling what he had done. He dared to threaten me. He wanted to provoke me.


    I then calmed down after realizing that he must be lying. No one had permission to enter my cabin without my approval. So how could he be allowed inside? And, then there was Parth. He would eventually be able to stop that worthless cousin of mine.


    Though I knew all these, I could not help but impatiently stomp my feet inside the lift. For a moment, I cursed myself for taking the regular lift. Employees were getting in and out at every damn floor. In the end, on the sixth floor when the last person standing beside me exited, I glared at the lot that wanted to enter and pressed the close button.


    The bewildered faces of those males and females had lost all the colors when my eyes met with their widened eyes. They were scared because of my glares, and I knew it wouldn''t take long for the news to circulate in the whole company.


    I did not bother to pay any attention to it. For now, the matter of the importance was to know what Rey was doing in the company.


    Once the lift reached the fourteenth floor, I got out and strode forward. The silent time, taken for a lift to ascend from the sixth floor to the present one had calmed down my bubbling anger. However, there was no guarantee that it would remain that way after meeting Rey.


    His very sight would boil my blood, knowing how he was wasting his life behind his addiction.


    "Sir, Mr. Rey is waiting for you in the conference room."


    I glanced at the girl who spoke when I crossed the reception desk. She was Parth''s assistant. It must be Parth who had sent her ahead to let me know about the situation beforehand.


    "Mr. Rey almost created a scene and refused to listen to anything. I couldn''t handle him. Fortunately, Parth Sir arrived on time. Mr. Rey was insisting on waiting for you in your cabin. Parth Sir firmly denied him."


    I frowned listening to her words. What she was telling didn''t seem like an assistant would do. Was she trying to be pitiful and complain to the company''s boss? Was she putting good words for Parth? I didn''t like people who did not know how to do their job


    "HR department," I prompted as I turned in the direction of the conference room which was situated on the left side.


    "Huh? I''m sorry, sir." The girl managed to catch up with my long strides in her heels as she tried to make sense of my words.


    I arrived before the door of the conference room. Pausing at the door, I looked down at the girl who looked clueless. I did not recall when she was hired or why was she hired in the first place. Heck, I did not recall her name.


    Though I trusted Parth, that did not mean I was ready to overlook other things. If she could not handle one single person, she could very well try and sit at her home. Last time, I did not say anything for her incompetence, but it did not mean that I was going to do the same every time.


    "Go to the HR department. You''re fired."


    I did not wait for my words to sink in her system as I moved ahead, leaving her standing in absolute shock. Opening the door of the conference room, I was greeted with a strange silence.


    Parth stood beside the chair in the center directly opposite to the projector. On the other end, two figures sat down. One I was familiar with while I did not recognize the other person as his back was toward me.


    I walked in. The sound of the door opening and closing attracted their attention.


    "Ah, there''s my dear brother. Come, come. Here this cousin of yours was getting bored to death without you."


    My ears twitched as Rey used that annoying tone of his. How old was he? Five? I detested dealing with him. Sometimes, you don''t have a choice and need to deal with things even if you hate them to death.


    Parth seemed to be sharing my sentiments for his face also changed to one that of annoyance before he schooled his features. I appreciated his ability mentally. He was learning quickly.


    "Cut the crap. What brings you here?"


    Ignoring his attempt of getting on my nerves I walked around and sat down in the swirling chair in the middle. Putting both hands on the armrest, I joined my palms and crossed my right knee on top of the left one as I leaned back in the chair.


    My eyes looked at him in a stern, unyielding gaze. Compared to his appearance of that day, he was fairing a lot better than I had expected.


    "How forgetful of you, brother. Do you need me to remind you about our last conversation? I don''t mind refreshing your memory. So¡ª"


    "I don''t have time for your bullshit Rey." I interrupted him harshly.


    "Get to the point. You got your shares. Then what''s the purpose of showing up here, instead of rejoicing your victory?"

 Chapter 168 - It seemed that my day was destined to be ruined by women.

    |Eshan|


    "Why so angry bro? Calm down. Can''t I just visit my brother?"


    I resisted an urge to roll my eyes as he used that fake affection. His eyes twinkled with glee as he found the anger resurfacing on my face. He was enjoying my plight.


    "I don''t have time to waste on a person like you." I snorted. I was done with him. I had given him a chance but all he wanted to do was to annoy me. I had no mood to deal with someone like him. My company wasn''t going to run smoothly if I continued to waste my office time with people like Rey.


    I absolutely was not going to let my office work interrupt the time with my wife. I had to leave my beautiful wife alone at home. If coming to office meant


    "Alright, alright. We''ll talk business." Rey raised his hands in surrender. I could see the desire of irritating me in his eyes. He held himself back with great restrain. "Ms. Chandni, would you please," he spoke to the person beside him.


    I turned my gaze to look at the other person in the room I had not paid any attention to.


    My eyes narrowed down a little when I saw the woman he had brought alongside. Her small round shape face looked familiar. I had seen her, somewhere. I could just not recall who she was.


    "Hello Mr. Singhaniya, we meet again," Ms. Chandni greeted with a bright smile on her face. Her eyes crinkled behind those big glasses when she smiled widely.


    "She was the lawyer of the opposite party in that fire incident case," Parth whispered in my ear when I looked at him questioningly.


    Fire incident case. My eyes burned with anger when I recalled that specific incident.


    "What is she doing here?" I shifted my focus to Rey. I wondered did he know about the history of that woman with our family business.


    "Bro, do you know each other?" Rey raised his eyebrow in question. His face held confusion. Either he knew nothing or he was faking it. In either case, I wasn''t going to let him ruin the last chance I had given him.


    His constant addressing as ''Bro,'' and ''Brother'' was getting on my nerves. In childhood amongst all the cousins, he was my favorite. He would always follow me around, calling me bro in his that cute voice. He used to be stuck like glue to me and copy me. That adorable little version of him was so different from the man seating before me now.


    I never understood how he strayed away so much. He was a brilliant student academically, a perfect son in his teens, and a guy everyone loved. However, nothing was the same now. The drastic change in his personality had come as a shock to me.


    I hadn''t bothered myself by probing in his life. It was his life. He was the one to determine how he wanted to spend it. However, for the sake of our old times, I had decided to try and bring him on the right path. If despite my attempts he did not learn the lesson then it would be his fault. I would have tried my best.


    Spoon feeding was not an option for people who chose to destroy their lives. Averting my gaze from him, I turned my anger toward Chandni.


    "Get out!" I held back my voice as I addressed that woman. I would never waste my breath on people like her, but some things couldn''t be helped. Watching her here, sitting before my eyes, smiling widely, behaving as if we had no grudge or past history between us was truly disgusting.


    It seemed that my day was destined to be ruined by women. In the morning it was that Amy, then in the office that assistant of Parth''s, and now the woman sitting casually in front of my eyes- Chandni.


    Why was I so unlucky today?


    Fortunately, my woman was there to break that unlucky curse, brightening my day. I needed to call her once I chased away these people. Hearing her voice or watching her was an effective way of improving my mood that was going downhill because of the two stubborn people currently looking at me unblinkingly.


    Parth walked near her chair as he gestured towards the door. "Ms. Chandni, please."


    "Hey! Who the hell are you to meddle in our matters? Stay in your limits." Rey blocked Parth''s way as he also stood up and circled around the chair coming to protect that woman.


    My anger went up when I saw what he did. For a woman who played a major role in creating havoc in our life, he was willing to cast aside every reservation and protect her. He truly was disappointing me.


    I stood up forcefully. The chair made a loud sound as it was pushed away. My actions startled people in the room. However, I did not care anymore. "You stay in your limits Mr. Rey Singhaniya. What do you take my company as? A joke? Do you even know what that woman had done to our family business? Do you know just because of her we''re on the verge of bankruptcy? Do you know how Uncle- your father managed to sort everything out?" I asked him in a loud voice. I did not need to worry about other people hearing because apart from us there was no one present on this floor.


    I watched color draining from Rey''s face. It looked like he truly didn''t know about her.


    "Mr. Singhaniya. Calm down. We all are a.d.u.l.ts here. We shouldn''t mix our personal and professional life. The past- it''s not needed to be brought up. I was just doing my job back then. No hard feelings." Chandni stood up; her expression did not change for a bit. That smile remained on her face. I felt as if that smile was mocking me.


    I suddenly laughed cynically. ''No hard feelings.'' She sure knew how to play with words. Her doing job could have cost endless suffering to my family even when we weren''t at fault.


    "I don''t welcome corrupt people like you Ms. Lawyer. Some people like you are the reason that justice is either delayed or denied to the victims. For earning more money people like you can sell their souls, what are morals and ethics? Unfortunately for you, I don''t even have a second more to waste. Either you leave or I''ll have security throw you out. The choice is yours. You can also file another fake case. Anyways you''re quite skilled in that area," I taunted, not bothering to hide my hatred for her.


    ***

 Chapter 169 - I’ll bring you here one day.

    |Eshan|


    I left the conference room angrily. I could not bother to stay in the same room as both of them when my anger was getting worst out of me. The corridor was empty. That girl was nowhere in the sight. It was a good thing, otherwise, I might have taken out my anger on her.


    "Sir?" Parth followed behind me. At the same time, the lift arrived on the floor. I found the security team rushing out.


    "Get them out of here. Don''t disturb me for anything," I ordered him as I nodded to the greeting of security head.


    "Parth," I called out his name when something suddenly strikes my brain. How did he know about Chandni being involved in that fire incident case? At that, he wasn''t working for me. Then, how? Even I did not recognize her at first glance. It had been more than six years to that case.


    "Yes, sir?" Parth waited for me to continue.


    "How did you recognize her?" Observing him, I found him smiling a bit with sadness. "In college, people were aware of what was going in your family. I''ve done my research as well."


    I nodded, registering his words. The scandal at that time had grown beyond anybody''s control. It was no wonder that he knew about it.


    The door of my cabin was closed with a bang as I marched inside. The anger was returning as all those memories of that hard times were rushing to my brain.


    I did not know why, but I failed to control my emotions well. It was as if something was waiting to be released. My heart struggled to restrain the feeling of throwing everything away. Chandni''s arrival brought back the memory of how we had struggled.


    That time was one of the worst phases of my life. I had never thought people could be so despicable. I was nineteen at that time. My father and uncle had made our family business reached the great heights with their combined efforts of so many years. The construction company my grandfather started had turned into a flourishing respected brand in the country.


    When there is a success, naturally, there will be people jealous of it. The same thing happened with our family back then. I felt my head aching by remembering the past.


    Instead of walking straight to the table, I changed my direction to the right side. Pressing the switch behind the painting on the wall, I waited for the door to slide open. The door opened automatically, connecting my office room to the studio apartment. After I had established this company and everything started running smoothly, I had paid attention to the construction and interior of the present building.


    In the initial period when everything was new and small, the money was an issue. I had decided to not take any help from my family. There had been many problems in achieving my current position and success. However, I never let those problems cloud my mind.


    While walking, I unbuttoned my suit jacket. Removing it, I threw it down on the bed on my left. About this studio apartment, not even my friends knew. As it was made to blend with the walls, no one had ever suspected anything. Even Parth did not know what was inside the door. He only knew that there was a room behind it. Whenever I felt a need for hiding away from the world, this would be my safe haven.


    Uncaringly I dropped vertically on the bed. Staring at the ceiling, I could not help but feel helpless. I did not want to think about the past. That time was gone. But, then why, this restlessness was creeping in after I saw her. She brought all the unhappy memories.


    Despite not wanting to think about it, my mind refused to back down.


    I blinked and then turned my unfocused gaze away from the ceiling to the wall before me. Innaya''s smiling face in the form of large painting greeted me. Watching that beautiful smile on her face finally gave me some relief. Caught in the haze, I could not move my eyes form the paining that took almost the entire space of the wall.


    As if in a daze, I pulled my body up and sat down. It was the painting that had taken me four months to complete two years ago. In the silence of night after office hours, I would lock myself up in this studio apartment, where I would work on venting my loneliness.


    I had often missed Innaya. As I could not confess my feelings, I had to restrain my growing emotions. I had once seen something like it in Ayush''s home. I did not know exactly why he had drawn up the scenery covering the whole wall in his bedroom. However, it kind of looked cool. I had found my inspiration there.


    "Say, do you think I''m foolish?"


    I traced the pink lips of the girl that was smiling unrestrainedly. In my moments of despair, she was the one to lift my spirits.


    "You, my dear wife, have no idea how much I have longed for you. You might feel I''m being overbearing if you know how much I love you and want to be with you. You might feel, I''m being unreasonable by not sharing things with you." I sighed. These days, I could not bring myself to share my feelings easily with her.


    I did not know why, but I would forget my worries when I was with her. It might feel exaggeration, but it was not that case. She really made me forget other things. All I could remember would be only her. However, it seemed that only I thought it that way. Innaya had started to notice it as well.


    When I myself had no idea what was wrong with me, then how was I meant to explain things to her?


    "Tesoro, please forgive this husband of yours. I''m only over thinking and messing things. I promise you. I won''t think unrelated stuff and bother myself because of it."


    "You see this room. I''ll bring you here one day. Would you be surprised?" Even when I knew I was talking to the lifeless painting which was unable to respond to me, I felt it was good talking alone. I did not have to watch my words or my emotions.


    "I know, I''m worrying you too much. But, sweetheart, I''m not doing it purposefully. Please, give me some time. I''ll sort out everything." I promised to her. In truth, it was a reminder to myself. I needed to get myself together.


    ***

 Chapter 170 - Overcoming the cynophobia

    |Innaya|


    Until you experience something, you would not know what emotions it would bring to you. Because of my cynophobia, I always stayed away from dogs. Touching them, being near to them was never any possibility happening in my life.


    So, today when I actually put my fingers on Fortune''s fur, I realized what I was missing. It was not how his hair felt under my fingertips rather the happiness that radiated from his face. I never knew dogs could smile or laugh. Witnessing look of pure elation on Fortune''s face had me brave up and caress his head.


    Casting aside my reservations, I inched closer and brought my other hand down on his front, scratching the area of his chest lightly. I had seen Eshan doing that to Fortune.


    I paused when he flipped. I was startled for a moment and both my hands hung mid-air. I did not know what to do. Didn''t he like me petting him?


    Reality proved that I was worrying unnecessarily. Fortune seemed to like that for he turned on his back, facing belly upwards pulling his four paws in all sort of directions. His tail wagged endlessly. However, his expressions turned sad when I did not move at all staring at him puzzled.


    The light in his eyes dimmed down.


    "Do you like it?" I frowned as I asked.


    Maybe, as if he understood what I was saying for he tilted his head and his eyes went to my hands. I had an impulse to laugh out aloud. I did it. I improved and overcame my fears so easily.


    For years, I had hidden away never daring to face my cynophobia. I knew first-hand what fear could do to you. For the majority of my life, the animal I most hated and feared was now the harmless creature in my eyes. Truly, you wouldn''t understand until you take a risk and experience. For chasing away the demons, one needed to face them.


    I smiled, and gradually that smile turned to laughter as I continued rubbing, caressing and scratching Fortune. His face returned to that of happiness as he let me do whatever I wanted.


    Suddenly an idea struck me. I wanted to share this news with Eshan. I wanted to let him know that I had fought with my fear and defeated it. I wanted him to be the first person to know that.


    With one hand, I kept rubbing his chest while stretching my other hand I pulled my phone from the sofa.


    I grinned imaging Eshan''s expressions. He would never believe that I could come closer to any dog ever. How could I forget how much panicked he was when I had gotten a panic attack once we stepped foot in the Mumbai. The incidence with that street dog in front of ice- cream stall was something we both could not forget.


    Later when Arjun had brought Fortune at that time also I had been scared. How could he believe me if I only told him? I needed to show him the proof. Firstly, I decided to record the moment. I wanted to believe this as well. Hence, I recorded a five-minute-long video of this priceless moment.


    I would always cherish this moment for my life. It held so much significance for me. It might be nothing for people, but for me, it was already a big deal. One needs to ask the people who overcame their fears about how they feel; the answer would be simple that they can''t explain. Sometimes words would fail you to express your emotions. It was better to live the moment.


    After I was done with recording the video instead of a voice call I started a video call to Eshan. I wanted him to see it with his own eyes.


    The first call went unanswered. That did not dampen my mood.


    While redialing his number I couldn''t keep the smile away from my lips. When my three calls went unanswered, I started to frown. He must be at the meeting. I consoled myself. However, for some reason, my heart ached as if something was not right.


    Why would I suddenly feel sad for no apparent reason? I was happy a moment ago, but my mood flipped out of nowhere.


    I lost my interest in playing with Fortune. Despite the happiness and sense of accomplishment, I had felt early, this time there was a tinge of restlessness growing from within.


    Giving one last rub to Fortune''s head I stood up.


    "We''ll continue later," I said to him. It was the start of our friendship. I hoped with the time, our bond would grow stronger. We had time; we could work on this later. For now, I wanted the restlessness to leave me alone.


    On top of that restlessness, Eshan''s not answering the call made me worried. On the surface, it was no big deal. He could be in the restroom or the meeting. There were literally several reasons why he did not receive my call. And, I understood it as well.


    "Stop overthinking. He''ll call back once he sees the missed calls." I pacified myself. There was nothing else I could do other than that.


    I decided to first take a second shower for the day, and then start cooking the dinner. This way, I could temporarily distract myself.


    ***


    Standing under the shower, I let the water wash down my worries and thoughts. My thoughts could wander in any direction without my permission. I did not want to start worrying about anything. Because when my mind acted on its own, there was nothing good coming out of it.


    My PTSD made me more vulnerable to even small matters. Perhaps it wasn''t just my PTSD. We as human were more attentive to our emotions, letting them drive our consciousness. The outcome was sometimes good or bad, depending upon how we perceived it.


    However, it was not good to be always controlled by our emotions. We needed to take control of them, rather than letting then control us. Maybe, it was because of my past, but my emotions overpowered my senses many times.


    I had paid a heavy price because of it. I had almost lost my relationship. At that my fears, my past, and my emotions, ruled my mind, clouding my senses. This time, just the way I worked on my fear of dogs, I wanted to work on my emotions as well. I would not let them dictate my life and muddle my head forever.


    I would fight hard to shove away monsters of uncertainty away. This time for Eshan I was willing to work hard. I would not drag him down.


    Firming my resolve, I turned off the shower. Wrapping my body with the towel, I exited the bathroom. As Eshan wasn''t home, I dared to come out only in a white towel wrapped around my body. Aside from Fortune, and me, there wasn''t anyone in the home. Was there any need to feel conscious then?


    No.


    However, nothing could have prepared me for the sight of the man seating on the bed in our bedroom.


    ***


    Unedited :-(

 Chapter 171 - Growing Desires

    |Eshan|


    The human mind brilliantly plays the loop of ''what if''s'' when you''re already playing down. I did not want to be stuck in that. When one had control over our brain? As I gazed more at the woman in the painting, I could not stop my brain from wandering into a vicious and painful cycle of imagining the different scenarios.


    They circled from her father to how would have her life turned out if not for that monster. What if, we would have met earlier? Wouldn''t it have been great if I had her by my side in those days?


    My mind could not stop projecting those ideas, and as the thoughts grew larger my heart turned heavier. I exhaled loudly, holding my head in hands. I should have never let Rey in the office. My mood was ruined. My desire of staying and working in the office was ruined. All I wanted to do was to run back to my home, where I would not have to worry about anything.


    I gathered my distressed senses together. I made my decision. For all I knew, I was not going to be able to work, then what was the point of wasting my time in the office? I would rather be with Innaya, holding her soft, warm body and burying my head in her those dark, silky, smooth hair. Thinking about Innaya, and how I would spend my time with her in my arms, made me straighten up. I looked forward to holding her in my arms.


    Maybe, I could steal a couple of kisses from her to calm down my estranged nerves. I would have to be careful though. Unconsciously I raised my fingers to the corners of my lips. I smiled when I recalled how she had bitten like a kitten when I had lost control. I needed to make sure this time to not hurt her.


    With all these thoughts replacing my earlier depressing one, my spirits were lifted greatly. I had not forgotten about the negative memories. The only difference was, I could push them at the back of my mind.


    I left the room after glancing for the last time in those beautiful eyes of my wife.


    ***


    I directly took my personal lift for the bas.e.m.e.nt. Leaving as early as I could, was the only thought on my mind. Parth was bewildered when I announced I was leaving. The poor fellow did not know how to stop me from the board meeting. In the end, I asked him to do with the video call.


    With Innaya being around me, I could make any number of video calls or any amount of work. The only requirement was Innaya''s presence. I would not be able to work with a troubled heart, then what was the point of wasting everybody''s time and effort?


    Instead, it would be better, if I worked from home for a while. In that way, people would not have to see my angered self, trying to snap at them as if they committed a grave sin. Working that way would ensure the peacefulness in my company. If the boss was happy, employees would be in a better mood as well.


    The lift reached the bas.e.m.e.nt. When the door opened, and I walked ahead, my mood dampened once again.


    My eyes narrowed down dangerously when I saw the figure leaning against my car. There goes my entire slightly better mood in the drainage. Could this guy, not leave me alone for a once? I had enough of the headache he brought with his visit every time. Wasn''t the scene created upstairs enough? That he stood there, waiting for me so that he could cause another ruckus?


    "Would you only understand when you are beaten up?" I snarled.


    Rey flinched visibly. My heart softened for a moment, catching the glimpse of a little boy who couldn''t handle scolding in childhood. He would hide behind me, saying his big brother was best.


    I sighed. Any desire to strangle him flew out of the window watching him trying hard to say something, yet failing miserably.


    "Sorry. I didn''t know about her," he confessed in a timid voice.


    "But, you know how to trail and threaten me?" Though my heart did soften for a bit, the anger surged back as I recalled those photos he used to threaten me.


    I could not overlook that matter so easily.


    "Those shares belong to me," he replied stubbornly, trying to justify his actions. He had no arrogance of that day when he had barged inside my cabin, fully drunk. I preferred the current sober look on his face. His words made my blood boil. ''Belongs to him?'' What a joke!


    "What qualification do you have to claim that? Did you work for it?


    What''s your contribution to it? Do you think we''re liable to provide you just because you''re related by blood to us? Grow up!" I sternly reprimanded him before I got into the driver''s seat.


    Rey''s face turned pale. His lips moved a couple of times but no sound came. Without waiting for him to waste my time, turning on the ignition I drove the car away. In the rearview mirror, I watched his tall figure in a pink hoodie and black pants growing smaller and smaller.


    That alone, lonely figure of his brought back strange helplessness in my heart. Why was I having this sort of emotion for him? Hadn''t I decided to not partake in the internal struggle of my family? I sighed, shaking my head to shove away those thoughts. I would need to figure out the way to solve the growing knot in my heart.


    Putting Carl on Rey''s case again was the only option I could think for now. My other plan of having him in the company with four percentages of shares on his name was already in the action.


    Though those shares were in his hand, but in reality that was not the case. How could I give him shares so easily from my company? It was my company. No one could mess with my hard work, not even my family.


    ***


    When I returned to the house, I was greeted with the excited Fortune. His excitement was on an altogether different level. Once I stepped inside, he jumped onto me, with his paw he tried to reach to my face by putting his weight on his hind legs. The bag in my hand was quickly placed on the ground before I supported him.


    "Hey, hey. Slow down, buddy."


    Fortune''s way of greeting me caused my mind to relax and my nerves slowly starting settling down.


    Raising my eyes, I noticed that Innaya was not around. I could not hear any voice from the kitchen as well. That just pointed to the fact that she was upstairs. My eyes then moved to the stairs. The person responsible for my heart to fall in the web of peacefulness was nowhere in the sight.


    "Innaya?" I called out to make sure that she wasn''t downstairs. Lack of response asserted my doubts about her absence.


    Fortune''s level of excitement amazed me when the smiling face of his refused to change. He couldn''t be this happy because I returned early, could he? Shaking my head, I attempted to calm him down by gentle coaxing.


    "We''ll play later. Let me get freshened up."


    "Woof woof."


    Why did I feel that Fortune saw through my excuse? Could it be the case that now he could also see my desire of rushing to my wife?


    Never mind.


    Even if he could see, what could he do? Giving him one last pat, I climbed up the stairs, two at a time. I was looking forward to surprising her. Who knew the one to be get disappointed would be me.


    When I entered our bedroom, it was empty. On carefully listening, I heard the sound of water from inside. I sighed loudly. So much for wishing to hold my wife!


    I plopped my butt on the bed as I sat facing the door of the bathroom. I did not how much time it would take for her inside. I wanted to observe every bit of expression on her face when she would see me. This way, I did not realize how fifteen minutes of wait felt like an eternity. Thankfully, the fact that she was only a door


    away from me was enough to help me pass this duration.


    The sound of water ceased from inside. Roughly around five minutes, the sound of knob turning was heard and then the door was pushed open from the inside.


    I prepared myself to get up when my entire body froze.


    I did not know, the desire of seeking comfort from her would change its meaning completely when I saw her. Clad only in a white towel wrapped around her body, my wife would stand before my eyes. For a moment, I had an impulse to rub my eyes. I wanted to check if I was imagining things or not. Was I being too much of a pervert to have fantasies of this kind?


    Once I had this thought I wanted to smack myself. Pervert?


    Fantasy? She was my wife, if not for her then for whom I was going to have such thoughts? Then again, I seriously had no such kind of intentions.


    The way I was surprised, shocked, I could see the same on Innaya''s face. She was frozen in her place.


    The towel barely covered her legs. Being wrapped in that towel, made it look like she was wearing a very short off-shoulder dress that barely touched her mid-thigh.


    My eyes were firstly stuck on those n.a.k.e.d shoulder blades. The bones moved under her ivory skin. Her long hair was tied up on her head in a bun, which left everything open in the vivid details, without hiding anything.


    My throat went dry when my eyes shamelessly moved past her shoulder to her slender legs.


    ''Ah. Damn.''


    My desires were growing, and my thoughts ran haphazardly in all sorts of directions without a single break. In a daze, I stood up.


    ***

 Chapter 172 - Growing Desires (2)

    (*Warning :: Slightly Mature Content*)


    |Innaya|


    You don''t have control over what would happen in life in a matter of even blinking your eyelids. One moment you''re worried over something, your heart is in turmoil, and next, you know is that situation has turned upside down. At first, no one is ever ready to accept the unexpected future. People learn to adapt. But, for adapting one needs time. It doesn''t happen instantly within a snap of fingers.


    The same happened to me.


    How could I have expected the man who went to the office before roughly around four hours, would be back so soon. And, on top of that, he would find in such¡­ such¡­ umm, inappropriate state.


    ''Huh¡­ Inappropriate state? You sure aren''t n.a.k.e.d.'' My subconscious taunted. I had no words to refute. Every single word of justification would result in a counterattack. Why should I engage in battle with myself? That would be too foolish of me.


    The main problem that remained was the eyes of my husband that was slowly moving all over me. It started with my face as they slowly trailed downwards. My feet were frozen along with my body.


    My brain''s activity of reacting was paused as if triggered by something. It was as if I knew whatever was coming wouldn''t be too good for my fragile heart, yet I could not make any move to avoid it.


    I truly was in a difficult spot with my body not reacting following the situation. My first reaction was to feel relieved.


    He had not answered my calls and that had left me in a puddle of worries. Now, seeing him before my eyes were like a wave of cold water in a burning summer- refreshing.


    With one step at a time, Eshan''s tall figure approached me. His eyes were a bit darker than usual. The warning bells rang dangerously in my head, yet I could only helplessly watch the man slowly getting close.


    I did not get a chance to think anything further when in two long steps Eshan stood extremely close to me. Either the temperature in the room dropped or I was being too nervous, but my body shivered, and those exposed parts felt the most of chill.


    For a while, our eyes were locked without anything being said. My hand on the doorknob I was still holding tightened up. I should be rushing back inside the bathroom, away from the eyes of my husband which looked quite intimidating, and intimate.


    "Damn it."


    I heard his gritted hiss before I was being pulled and then pushed against the wall beside the door of the bathroom. My limp, numb body was handled and molded so effortlessly in his hands that I wondered where was my consciousness now.


    He did not stop at that. I felt my back touching the wall and before I could voice out anything, his lips were descending down on mine. His hands pinned down my above my head. The difference between his kiss from all we have shared overtime was pretty apparent.


    His aggressive, relentless assault on my poor lips did not leave me with a chance of breathing. The suddenness of the situation was finally dawning on me. When he pushed his body further into me, his cloth clad legs brushed against my bare one. At the same time, his left hand loosened his hold on my wrist.


    I was just about to bring my left hand down, to push him away. The awareness of the lack of my cloth was bringing a wave of embarrassment. What if the knot of the towel were to loosen up because of all the frantic actions? I wasn''t wearing anything underneath. I needed to get back inside the bathroom. Panic started building in my chest.


    However, as if Eshan knew what I wanted to do because the hand which was getting down suddenly went back and taking hold of my free hand he brought it to his other one. Holding my wrists in his right hand, he brought his hand down to hold my n.a.k.e.d shoulder.


    I shivered when his warm fingers came in contact with my skin. I had just taken a shower, so my skin was already warm, yet I could perceive the difference in our body temperature. All this while, his lips were busy exploring and imploring.


    He did not wish to stop. As if he was searching for his most prized possession which was lost. Our kisses had seen a vast degree of changes in emotions. From innocent caresses to the mature, confident probing. From hesitant touch to the desperate needs.


    From love to relief. From contentment to the excitement. From the fear of losing to the ecstasy of coming together. I could go on and on for describing them, but this one was different.


    It felt much more intimate than whatever we had shared all this while. Previously my mind had stopped working because of the shock I received on finding him in the bedroom. This time it was because of the emotions growing in my heart with the way Eshan was putting his all in the kiss which was turning more and more insistent. As if he wanted our mouths to merge.


    The fingers on my shoulders were exerting some pressure. I shivered under his gaze when accidentally my eyes met with his. They were dark. I did not dare to bear those emotions of desire swirling in them.


    Was I ready for facing it?


    Could I let go of all my reservations, and be one with him in all the aspects, without any more barriers in between us?


    I had no time to think about anything else when my vision turned blurry. I had no recollection of how long we have been kissing. All my mind could think was nothing. It went completely blank.


    The fingers moved to my collarbones, tingles erupted in my body.


    However, I suddenly froze when I felt the knot of the towel coming undone. My heart leaped to my throat. Just this one moment of alarm was enough to remind me that I wasn''t ready for that step. My body went stiff as the wave of mortification of what would happen hit me in a full force.


    I closed my eyes, refusing to accept the next happenings.


    ***

 Chapter 173 - You want to chase me away

    |Eshan|


    Do people ever have that feeling like banging their head or beating the hell out of themselves? Maybe, yes. They might not realize how absurdly ridiculous their actions are. When the realization is dawn on them, they might feel it. I had that urge too.


    When my self-control had snapped and gave in my desires, I did not think about the repercussions of my actions. I did not think if Innaya was ready for it or not. I did not ask for her permission. I did not care if she was startled or not. I did not care if she wished to get intimate with me. Without caring about her mind-set I was almost imposing myself upon her. I did not think if my appearance startled her or not.


    I was getting too carried away. The moment a drop of water fell on my arm, the desire clouding my head instantly cooled down. It was as if someone ducked my head inside the cold water, submerging my head. My lips left hers and what I found immediately made me want to disappear into nothingness.


    How could I do this to her?


    Innaya''s eyes were tightly closed. Her face had gone completely white because of the lack of oxygen. Did she not breathe? Her struggle was written on her face. With her both the hands held above her head in my tight grasp, fingers of my left hand digging in her shoulder blades, and my knees brushing against her, she looked so vulnerable. Her condition was that of the drowned cat which was pulled out of water- scared, fearful, and wary.


    The knot of the towel was loosening and I could see it was barely hanging. Just a slight movement and the piece of cloth covering her dignity would fall. I left her wrist, bringing them back to her side. Without a second thought, I unbuttoned my white shirt and wrapped it around her.


    Her single teardrop was enough to extinguish the fire burning in my heart. It instantly put away the flames of desire, leaving away the heavy black smoke of guilt.


    She shivered, and I had no idea why. Did I frighten her? It could be the reason. The shame of my hasty and imposing actions was washing over me, making it hard for me to breathe.


    I watched her with weary eyes. Why did I lose control?


    I could walk away, leaving her alone. Or I could stand and console her, apologizing for my abrupt advances.


    I choose the latter. I couldn''t bear to leave her alone when she looked so lonely.


    My hands shook a little when I made the decision. I pulled her in my arms, silently holding her small figure in my embrace.


    "Breathe," I said while rubbing her head. Her bun had at some point come undone. Her hair covered her back. I dared not to make direct skin contact with her, after what just happened.


    Innaya seemed to have heard me for she released a shaky breath. I could feel the slight trembling in her body.


    "I''m sorry. I¡­ I shouldn''t have done that." I felt hard to say anything when my throat was clogging up. I didn''t know what to say.


    I was at fault here.


    Innaya remained silent only taking deep breaths. I didn''t understand what was going inside her head. Was she blaming me? If not for that single tear of hers, would I have gone ahead? Would I have removed the barrier between us, making her mine in all senses?


    I had no answer to that. Perhaps, I would have. At that moment, I had lost control, watching her in nothing but that towel. I had no excuses for it.


    I was, in the end, a man who loved his wife. Desiring my wife in that sense was only natural for me. I went wrong at the point of failing to understand my wife''s state of mind. I failed to ask her if she wanted it.


    I continued to hold her. Every shuddering breath leaving her body hit me directly in my guts. How could I be so careless? She already had her issues which were difficult to deal with. It was not easy for her to trust me.


    Why was I hell-bent on destroying her trust? Those who suffered from mental health problems had many other problems as well. The constant fear of something going wrong would be there in the back of their minds.


    Those people would blame themselves for things going wrong. The direction their thoughts would take was extremely hard to predict.


    Similarly, I could not determine what Innaya was feeling, thinking or assuming at the moment. I wanted her to talk and tell me. If she wanted to curse me, hit me, then that was okay as well. I didn''t want her to keep things bottled up.


    After what felt like an eternity, I felt her lips moving against my shirt. I then heard her low voice, "I''m sorry¡­ I was afraid."


    My hand on her hair trembled a little. Quietly, I dared not to move. Her admittance to being afraid was like a slap to my face. With me, she felt afraid. Was there more to her past, she did not mention to date?


    "It was my fault. Blame me for losing control. I won''t do anything. Don''t be afraid," I replied after a while when she did not say anything.


    "Go, get dressed. I''ll wait outside."


    I reluctantly was pulling away.


    "Do you blame me?" Her small fist tugged at my shirt, refusing to pull away. She instead held onto me. Her little action and her words were the opposite. Both of which I had not expected.


    "Huh? What are you saying? No, Tesoro. I''m not blaming you. I should be the one to be blamed."


    "What wife''s don''t let her husband have his¡ª after so many months of marriage? You must be blaming me¡­ but you said you don''t. Why don''t you blame me?" I heard her shaking voice.


    ''Ah¡­my naive wife!'' I could not help but smile a little when I recalled how inexperienced my wife was in matters of physical intimacy. The memories of that morning when she curiously explored my face resurfaced in my mind.


    That morning just by exploring my face, she had turned into a little squirrel trying to avoid me. It had taken some explanation for her to let go of that tiny guilt arising in my mind. I knew how inexperienced she was when we shared our second kiss because the first one was a peck and she was the one to do it.


    "Okay, we''ll talk about it later. Get dressed first. Okay?" I patted her head. We could''ve had the conversation now, but holding her when she was only in her towel, was getting a bit difficult for my body. The early temptation had resulted in some changes, and I did not want her to find it now. Though it had calmed down to a certain extent after what followed, I did not want to risk it with her.


    "You''re angry, right? That''s why you want to chase me away."

 Chapter 174 - Why Were You Afraid?

    ||Innaya||


    "Breathe." Eshan''s voice had me open my eyes.


    Just when I was thinking about everything was over, Eshan returned to his original caring self. I noticed his movement had long ago stopped, and now I found myself in his arms. My heart settled once I realized Eshan wasn''t going to do anything. I could finally breathe freely.


    I had lost my defenses when I thought things were going to spiral out of the control. That one moment of anxiety was enough for my fears to raise their ugly head. They made their presence known by bringing numerous worries, self-conflict, and doubts to my heart.


    But, in the last moment, everything came to stand still as if it never happened. My husband was apologizing.


    Could I blame him? No. It was normal for men to expect certain things from their better halves. Everyone had their needs. Since I married him, never he tried to force me into consummating our marriage. Never did his approach made me feel he wanted that intimacy from me.


    However, how could I not know? I wasn''t a child to not know what transpires between couples. I might not know the graphic details, but I knew enough. I wondered how he held back himself for so long. I would admit to being afraid. I confessed the same when he said sorry.


    I myself did not know what I was afraid of. But, in that one moment when I felt towel slipping away, I panicked. When I told him last week that he could see me without my clothes because he had that right, I didn''t realize that I wasn''t ready.


    But, now as I stood leaning against him, where his heartbeat erratically, and my mind was calming down. I could think clearly. The hesitancy in his body language was also pretty apparent as he repeatedly pushed me away, making an excuse for asking me to get ready.


    He was holding himself back.


    I could feel it.


    Was he angry?


    It seemed like, my withdrawal resulted in him being angry. It was understandable. Last time also I had pushed him away, biting on his lip. This time, my body went in almost lockdown dampening his desires.


    Could I help it? No. I wasn''t doing it deliberately.


    It was my involuntary reaction. How do I put it in words? I did not have any idea.


    When he repeatedly chased me away, I could not help but feel sorrowful.


    "You''re angry, right? That''s why you want to chase me away," I said tearfully. My eyes were already wet with tears. I had no idea why were my emotions so fluctuating.


    It was not that Eshan was any stranger. He was my husband- the man whom I loved after knowing him. It was not- love at first sight. I fell for him after spending time with him. I fell for him after knowing him personally, emotionally and intimately. Our intimacy wasn''t limited to the physical one. Then, why was this last-minute barrier on my mind? I failed to understand.


    Eshan''s constant rushing was also caused me to feel wronged.


    He was misunderstanding me again. Was my action reminded him again of those words I had spoken to him in that farmhouse?


    Tears gushed out of my eyes. I was angry at myself.


    My past was not letting me live my present. Being on constant guard was only harming me. I had hurt him then, I was hurting him now as well. Why my insecurities were driving me crazy, to act and speak this way?


    I bit my lip, trying to suppress my sobs.


    Eshan would only find me repulsive if I continued being so weak-willed and cry-baby. Wouldn''t he feel that he brought the child back home after marriage instead of a wife? Thinking about it made me want to cry harder.


    I left his shirt from my fist, even when I wanted to hold onto him. Before I could move away, I heard Eshan''s sigh, and then all I knew was Eshan bending down and scooping me up in his arms. Carrying me to the bed, he placed me on the mattress.


    He covered me with the duvet first before he climbed into the bed. It was that moment when I realized that he was in his office clothes. His shirt was given to me, and now he only had a white vest on his upper body along with his black pants.


    My teary eyes followed his every single movement. I searched his face for signs of anger, disgust or anything.


    However, his face was blank. Apart from the moist and slightly red lips, there were no signs of the recent happenings on his face. I buried myself under the duvet, bringing my knees to my chest underneath. Only my eyes were uncovered allowing me to see, the rest of my body was safely hidden under the duvet. I shifted a little uncomfortably. He hadn''t answered my question.


    Was he that angry? Did he not wish to answer?


    "Have I ever been angry at you?" Eshan stretched his long legs on the bed and pulled a duvet to cover his lower half. He leaned against the headboard, quietly watching me. His body was stiff and he had a serious expression on his face.


    I pondered, refreshing my memory to find any event where he had gotten angry on me. However, I recalled none. From the day, we got married, there was not even a single day when he got angry at me or yelled at me.


    Even on that worst day of our life, he was disappointed, hurt, but never angry.


    I shook my head.


    "Do I have a reason to get angry?" He asked another question when he received the answer to his first one.


    I found it difficult to answer this question. From my perspective, he had one. I nodded timidly. The serious face of his was reminding me of one of my lecturers in my college. The sternness was causing my heart to tremble.


    "What reason?" He fired another question.


    This time, instead of answering him, I looked at his eyes directly. What was he trying to achieve by asking these questions one after another? Then I recalled, him asking similar kinds of questions previously as well. At that time, they were about the attraction between husband and wife. This time I did not understand the reason behind it.


    "I¡­I¡­" I stuttered, not knowing what to answer him. How could I say that I didn''t let him proceed?


    "Speak properly."


    I wanted to cry under the intense gaze of his. What did he want to hear from me? Didn''t he know everything?


    "What do you want me to say? You are aware of everything?" I snapped. My embarrassment resulted in anger. His roundabout manner was making me forget about my discomfort. I had very less patience when it came to deal with the people who instead of the main point talked about random unnecessary things.


    "Why were you afraid?" Eshan did not answer my question. Instead, he changed the way of his interrogation.


    * * *


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 Chapter 175 - Im not that fickle to think only with my lower half.

    |Innaya|


    Why was I afraid?


    He asked me this question. What kind of answer was he expecting?


    I was afraid of what would follow. I was afraid because without any warning Eshan made a move. I was unsuspecting.


    In reality, was I afraid or hesitant?


    I knew, he was no stranger but my husband. Then, why was I having doubts at such a moment?


    "Innaya, are you afraid of physical intimacy? Are you afraid of us crossing that last barrier? I''m not asking you, ''what are you afraid of''. What I want to know is ''why''. It''s absolutely okay for you to feel nervous, jittery, on guard, this being your first experience when it comes to such matters." Eshan probed further. His deep understanding was touching, at the same time, his analysis was unsettling.


    I blinked my eyes, watching his serious face, turning more and more firm.


    A flash of anger crossed his features before his eyes returned to normal.


    "Today, it was my fault for rushing you. I had no intention of scaring you, but watching you¡ª I just lost my control." His eyes darkened as if remembering that moment. "I don''t know how, but I could not stop myself from showing my affection to you." He sighed helplessly.


    He ran his right hand through his hair, messing his hair. "Let''s talk about that unexplored aspect of our life. Instead of letting misunderstandings grow betting us, I would rather have us talking everything in open."


    My heart suffered a shock listening to him. Did he want us to talk about s.e.x now? When the situation was of such kind?


    ''Oh, so now you want to think about your poorly dressed self when you''re covered from head to toe. What? Are you feeling shy now? Where was this shyness when you were holding onto him? He insisted on getting you changed, yet you did not care. Huh!'' I had to agree with my mind on that.


    At that time, my brain had stopped working, thus I did not realize it.


    My eyebrows drew together as I wondered what Eshan meant by talking everything in open.


    Eshan folded his arms across the chest. His action made the muscles on his arms to flex. This was the first time I saw the bare part of his sturdy chest. Why was I behaving in such a way? I did not want us to take that step, yet here my eyes were being shameless and wandering as if they had a mind of their own. I forcefully controlled my eyes and fixed them on his face. That was the safest part to look at, as well as a little scary with that unchanged poker face of his.


    "I''m a man. Just like any other man, I have my desires, needs too. As much as you are inexperienced in these matters, I''m no different," Eshan started saying in a firm voice as if the matter we''re discussing was something casual. He made it sound like we were discussing the weather.


    I sucked a deep breath. After spending so many months with him, I had a hunch that he was a v.i.r.g.i.n as well, but I would always refute that idea because of how experienced he felt in the matter of intimacy.


    Somewhere, I didn''t want to think about the possibility of him having been intimate with someone in the past. I did not want to imagine him with someone else.


    I could not bear to. So, imagine my surprise when he confessed this with such a straight face as if he was giving a presentation to his clients.


    "I''ve been in love with you for almost a decade. I''ve never indulged in such kind of things. For me, you were the only one in my heart, mind, body, and life. I wanted to have that kind of relationship with the person in my heart."


    His eyes darkened with emotions for a fleeting moment, before they gazed unyieldingly in mine. It was as if was professing what would come in the future in our relationship, He was giving me a picture of his past thoughts with his future expectation.


    Why hearing him say such things made my eyes wet? Whenever he mentioned being in love with me for so many years, I couldn''t help but feel proud of him. His perseverance was something I never expected from men. To be able to hold onto the same person for so many years, and that too when the other person wasn''t aware of his feelings, was truly remarkable.


    Eshan sighed as he tilted his head to the side, before taking its previous position. He started once again, "I know we''re in the twenty-first century, where the terms like v.i.r.g.i.nity don''t matter for people. Call me old-fashioned or what, but I believe in s.e.x after marriage. And it should not be done for the sake of completing the deed. S.e.x shouldn''t be done for the sake of doing it. I see s.e.x as being connected to you in all aspects of life. The way I''ll be the only person to make love with you, you''ll be the only one for me. Before you, there was no one. And, after you, there won''t be the one."


    No, no. I did not want to cry. I wanted to listen to him completely without, ruining the flow with my tears. It was not every day that I got to listen to him. He rarely opened up about things on his mind. I did not want to waste the opportunity. His thoughts were making me proud. Not that I had something against the people who indulged in physical intimacy before marriage.


    In the end, it was a personal choice. Who we want to be with, how we want it to be, where... are all the decisions open to the person''s own preference. Nobody should fear the opinions of others for no one had a right to criticize us on the choices we make, the path we chose, or how we live our life. Absolutely, no one has a right to make the decisions of your life, when you''re capable of doing so.


    I couldn''t be more proud of Eshan. His thoughts were always deep, filled with profound understanding. From so young age, holding onto such thoughts I could not imagine having met someone like him.


    "I''m not that fickle to think only with my lower half."


    ***

 Chapter 176 - I want to make love to you.

    |Innnaya|


    Do I get a moment to admire the man sitting opposite me on the same bed?


    How did I get so lucky? The more he spoke, the more privileged it made me feel. Listening to him, I couldn''t help but think about my fear. Was there any need to feel afraid before this man? If he could hold such deeper understanding, would he ever hurt me?


    No.


    "I would not force you into doing something which you don''t want. That''s why we''re taking things slow. Until today, I did not feel my desires clouding my mind. Watching you only in that towel," he paused a bit before continuing again, "I lost control. I''m sorry if it frightened you. But know that I won''t hurt you in the slightest. I won''t lie; I want to make love to you. I want to know you inside and out."


    How could he maintain a serious face with all that talking? My face must have turned red by only hearing him say all kinds of things. Did he want to make love to me? Ah! Where do I hide my face?


    Although I wanted to run away, I wanted to hear more. Was I being controlled by someone? This wasn''t me. I wasn''t so bold to sit still throughout what Eshan''s spoke.


    Eshan unfolded his hands across his chest and brought his right hand to my face. I curiously tilted my head along with my eyes. I thought he would cup my face, so I waited.


    I waited, but his hand never touched my face, instead, he dropped his hand by my side. I frowned.


    "What are your thoughts, Innaya?"


    He did not use any endearments, I noticed. It made me feel as if something was amiss. However, his question put me in the spotlight.


    What did I want? It was not that I not knew. One day or another, we had to consummate our marriage. For healthy marital relationsh.i.p.s, both emotional, and physical intimacies mattered. In the future, we would have kids. Kids weren''t going to get dropped from heavens. Of course, we had to work for that. This matter wasn''t something that could be avoided.


    Was both of us going to be celibate for all our life?


    No. Then, what I would do?


    I breathed deeply, organizing my thoughts. ''If we are talking, then I very well try and open up as well.''


    "I don''t know, Eshan. Before you came to my life, I wasn''t going to get married. So, I had never considered this matter. After our marriage, this topic didn''t come. That pushed everything at the back of my mind. I knew one day or other; it was going to happen, naturally. This is not something we can avoid for our whole life." I wet my lower lip. I needed water to moisten my dry throat.


    Why was talking about this topic getting a little awkward? Toes of my feet curled up under the sheets, digging into the mattress. Somehow, as I talked, I failed to grasp the words leaving my mouth.


    "I know, s.e.x is not at all about only fulfilling bodily needs. There are tons of materials on it, which I haven''t read. I only know all this because when


    I would search the ways to deal with my mental health issues, this topic would always pop in the searches." I stopped talking when I realized how easily I shared something with him. My words were a little brazen for my own liking.


    Who would have thought I would be talking about s.e.x, needs with Eshan so soon. It was abrupt. I hadn''t had the chance to prepare myself for it.


    I wasn''t lying. How good s.e.x with your partner, which wasn''t about only doing the deed, helped people with dealing with their issues. I had read a couple of articles on that. I just never thought I would someday be considering that option. I averted my eyes to Eshan''s covered feet.


    "Do you have any memories holding you back about this?" Eshan asked. I heard the caution in his voice.


    I frowned. Why would he ask this? Did he think my father assaulted, and abused me in that way? It would have been good if he had not asked this. Because his question caused some blurred memories to resurface in my mind.


    With horror, my eyes snapped to his? Was he considering the possibility of me being assaulted in my childhood? Once the weight of his question dawned on me I could not help but tremble.


    My trembling had nothing to do with what he thought about me. It took birth from the question. I recalled the strange voices and cries coming from my father''s bedroom. At that time, I was too small to understand, what would happen in that room when my father would take that woman in.


    It was later when I grew up that I understood.


    It was too disgusting for me to know, that my own father in his own house in front of his daughter dared to do such a thing. It had made me extremely disgusted.


    Until he asked me, I had not considered that possibility. Neither did my therapist mention that. Maybe, at that time I was a child, who forgot many things from her past. Many things that were forgotten at that time, stayed at the back of my mind without disappearing. They would make their presence known when triggered.


    I never truly realized how much those were affecting me from within.


    Suddenly a memory caused my breath to hitch in my throat. I had almost forgotten about it, but it seemed like it was not the case.


    I had accidentally watched my father advancing on that woman. I was going to the kitchen for fetching water when I had seen something that I shouldn''t have. I did not receive any punishment for it at that time because they both hadn''t seen me. However, from my position, I had seen my father''s bare back as he was hugging that woman. Same shrieks, sounds had been coming from them as I had silently retreated.


    I felt disgusted after I recalled that scene. Why were there gaps in my memories? When I thought my father couldn''t fall any lower, I would be proved wrong.


    I truly was unfortunate.


    ***

 Chapter 177 - My day was doomed, to begin with.

    |Eshan|


    I watched how Innaya''s expression changed from shock to horror. Then the horror in her eyes was replaced by disgust. I could see the anger burning in her eyes which slowly turned red.


    The possibility of her being abused was something I thought suddenly. Until today, I never thought about it. But, the way she said she was afraid and had no answer ''why'', made me think in another direction. There was a reason behind everything.


    I could not overlook this matter thinking it to trivial.


    "What is it?"


    I inched close, taking hold of her face as I cupped her rather a small face in my palms. She was cold. Despite the duvet covering her body, she was very cold to touch.


    My mind went blank. I was the one to ask her that question, but why suddenly had a bad feeling about it. Watching the color draining from her face, I started feeling that I shouldn''t have asked her question.


    "Innaya, what is it? Did he?" I couldn''t bring myself to ask her the question.


    Her teary eyes glanced at me first. I did not know what to do. I was at the loss of words. Until I knew, exact situation, what was I supposed to say to her.


    On one hand, there was a dread while on another side; I was hoping that it should not be something bad. After knowing what kind of father she had, I wouldn''t be surprised to know he had done some unmentionable things. But, the thought of Innaya being subjected to it was something I could not bear.


    Innaya watched me for a couple of more moments, resulting in my heart to beat in speed up-tempo that was too fast for me to handle. It felt as if jumped out of my ribcage at any point.


    Her small body then advanced and she literally jumped on me, wounding her hands around my neck, holding me impossibly closer.


    I was startled when she held me like that. The duvet she had hidden in, had fallen on the bed. She was on her knees as she clutched me in her hold.


    "Disgusting... too disgusting," She murmured, and as her face was close I could hear her words.


    Her body trembled. I could not help but hold her after my initial surprise wore off.


    What did she remember?


    "Sweetheart, it''s okay. Don''t think about it. It''s alright," I tried to console her. If it was something that I was thinking, she shouldn''t be remembering it.


    I did not wish to be the reason for her panic attack. Things like molestation, physical abuse were serious matters, and they left physiological wounds on the brain. It was not easy to overcome such things that would corrode one from inside.


    Her breathing turned little rough as if she struggled to breathe normally. I rubbed her back, and at the same time, my other hand went through her hair and softly massage her nape. For some people back of the neck was rather a sensitive area, and recently I have discovered it was Innaya''s weak spot.


    Instead of saying things that would make the situation worsen, I chose to let actions do the work.


    It worked, for Innaya''s trembling stopped, but she stayed holding me. We both failed to realize our position. However, my body reminded me of how difficult it was going to be to keep holding her this way.


    She was only in my shirt for that towel seemed to have come undone at some point in the time. With only my shirt covering her body, when she hugged me tightly some things couldn''t be avoided.


    As she tried to calm herself down with deep breathing, my composure was slipping away. Her chest moved upside down, causing friction between our upper bodies, or rather certain parts. My body which had calmed down was now again reacting because of the simulation.


    ''God!'' I groaned inwardly. What kind of situation we were in, and my body was not cooperating. Was this the time to have a reaction?


    ''F***!'' I cursed internally.


    I couldn''t bear the torture, so I tried to divert my mind somewhere. Just as I felt, I was going to mess up again, I heard Innaya''s voice. What she spoke instantly cooled down my desires that were raising its head.


    "My father was getting intimate with that woman in the kitchen. I had accidentally stumbled on them."


    I sucked a sharp breath.


    "Did he hurt you?" I pulled back her head, to have a look at her face. I wanted to make sure she was okay. She had told me, how they have tortured her at their whims and wishes. This was something she shouldn''t have seen in the first place. Did they torture her because she saw them?


    I couldn''t help the raging fire igniting in my mind.


    Bastards.


    She shook her head, her hair bounced as she did. I sighed in relief. Thankfully, they didn''t hurt her. But, then what impact that act left on her?


    She sniffled a little. Tip of her nose had gone red. There were a couple of tears that leaked from the corner of the eyes.


    "Shh... Don''t cry. It''s good that you weren''t hurt. Don''t think about it." I caressed her wet cheek as I wiped away those tears.


    "Now as I think of it, it truly was disgusting." Innaya shook her head."At that time, many things didn''t make sense. For some reason, I have gaps in my memories... They suddenly pop out, catching me unaware. Back then, this memory wasn''t that strong. At that time because I did not remember, I did not say anything to my therapist. Those incidents are now getting triggered." Sadness covered her face as her eyes sank in helplessness.


    It must be. As she grew up, she must have understood many things.


    She suddenly looked at me with her big brown eyes, and then again lowered her head. Her arms around my neck at some point loosened, and now we''re resting at her sides.


    My eyes followed her downcast head. I sucked a sharp breath blaming myself for not controlling my eyes. The on and off simulation was getting hard for me to handle. I hadn''t buttoned up the shirt, it was only placed around her shoulders. Without any movement, it stayed put until now, but with her arms being moved upwards, that shirt had left the contact with her shoulders. That resulted in the things that were supposed to be hidden to get displayed.


    I couldn''t avert my eyes for a moment from her. My breath lodged in my throat, and I couldn''t gulp. My throat went dry, and my insides clenched.


    ''F***!''


    I had no chance to put guard against the unexpected sight I was presented with unknowingly.


    My day was doomed, to begin with.


    ***

 Chapter 178 - Bizarre, it truly was bizarre!

    |Innaya|


    After venting out all my grievances, I sank against Eshan''s chest. My head hurt by just thinking about my past. Some things were unavoidable. If I was thinking about my past, I could not choose to recall a certain memory. They would come to me as they wished. I truly had no control over what I could think.


    Perhaps it was a good thing though. I now realized where the problem lies. Those sounds, visuals of my father indulging that woman, were somehow blocking my chain of thoughts.


    That unknown-block I would have was related to that time. It was a subconscious reaction. We sometimes did things that we do not mean, either out of a habit or a fear.


    "Are you feeling okay?" Eshan asked, rubbing my back. I nodded.


    His touch felt quite soothing against my agitated nerves. Also, his fingers massaging my nape had already relieved my tensed figure. My body was slowly calming down. I could not be more grateful for his hold on me.


    With things now settling, my attention returned to our original discussion. We went from getting intimate to the topic of intimacy. From that topic of intimacy, our focus shifted to my past. And, now again we were back to the start.


    Bizarre, it truly was bizarre!


    The warmth coming from Eshan''s chest felt too good. I could not help but rub my head a few times against his chest. I felt something was off when I felt Eshan''s fingers stopping abruptly.


    Raising my head, I took a look at Eshan''s face. I think it would have been better if I have not. Eshan''s face was hardened, even his eyebrows were pulled together as if he was restraining. There were beads of perspiration on his forehead.


    "What''s wrong?" Perplexed, I asked him. My hand involuntarily went to wipe away his forehead. Eshan flinched as if burned. His unfocused eyes staring at a distance returned to peer down at me.


    "I need to use the washroom. We''ll talk later," he hurriedly said. I could see how hard it was for him to say things.


    Was he not feeling well? Was he sick?


    "Are you not feeling well?"


    "Tesoro..." He gritted his teeth. Through the clenched teeth he grunted as he started getting up, gently moving me away. " I don''t want to lose my control now."


    He strode away for the washroom after throwing that sentence, catching me off guard.


    Bewildered, I looked at the closed door of the bathroom to the place he had occupied.


    What did he mean? I repeated his words in my mind, playing the same words in the endless loop.


    Lose control?


    What control? I did not get him. How could I not understand those simple words? They were weighing down heavily on me. I was covered, wasn''t I? After he explained, I could understand his loss of control when I exited the bathroom. Why now? Wasn''t I covered in the duvet?


    My eyes then fell on the mirror. All of my questions were answered immediately. My eyes widened in mortification, and I was about to shriek. My body went rigid as the severity of the situation sank in.


    Why was I so foolish? It was no wonder Eshan had that kind of expression. His impatience to get away from me was for nothing but for my carelessness.


    I did not know where to put my face as I picked up the shirt, immediately wearing it. My face burned with embarrassment, and even I did not recognize myself with all the redness. I blushed from tips of my hair to the toes.


    Just how stupid was I?


    ''Ah! Over, it was all over.''


    I hid my face in my palms. I could not face him after this. I could not. Why I had to be so absentminded?


    Remembering Eshan''s face, I shivered. This was the first time I saw the raw desires in his eyes. This was the first time he had let the reins of his control lose.


    ''Ah!''


    I punched the mattress in anger and mortification. Why I had to lose face before him in this way?


    Why?


    Just why?


    I hastily got up from the bed, going to the wardrobe. Taking all the clothes, I left for the guest room. I would get dressed there. I could not take a chance of running n.a.k.e.d into Eshan again.


    ***


    I glanced back. Finding no one in sight, I sighed for the nth time, patting my chest.


    I had been doing this for the past hour. I kept watching for any signs of Eshan from time to time as I hid in the garden.


    After what happened in the bedroom, my poor heart couldn''t bear to face Eshan. So, I had gotten dressed once I gathered myself after sitting and punching the mattress for fifteen minutes. It was fortunate that my fists had no real power or I would have made a hole in it. Adding one more reason to pile of my embarrassment.


    As I was outside, I could not see what was happening inside. I had placed a plate of snacks and coffee in the room before half an hour. At that Eshan was still in the bathroom, saving me the trouble of running into him.


    I knew I could not hide from him for a lifetime. He was my husband. In normal conditions, the scene in the bedroom would not have been anymore natural. However, it was not a normal circ.u.mstance. Careless misfortune. It was a reckless mishap.


    "Say, how do I face him?" I turned my gaze to Fortune, making sure that Eshan was not here yet.


    I had Fortune by my side. Luckily, after touching him in the afternoon, I grew confident. I did not have problems by bringing him along or touching him from time to time.


    Currently, he was with me, in my mission of hiding. We both were in the inner part of the garden where I''d first met Liza. The place was covered with large trees.


    I had found a hiding spot from where I could keep an eye out for Eshan. The back door stayed visible from the spot. That provided me with a bit of coverage. I kept a lookout on the scantiest bit of noise that would announce his appearance.


    ***

 Chapter 179 - Prevention was always better than the cure.

    |Eshan|


    Ah! Life was unfair. It would dangle a radish before your eyes, but you would not be able to eat it. You would get enticed by it, but other than sighing over your destiny, you wouldn''t be able to do anything.


    Standing under the cold water, I tried suppressing my innate passion. The sort of temptation I had been through just now, was hardest to deal with. Who would have thought that the day would progress like this?


    I wanted to return home to forget about the bad taste the afternoon in the office had left me with. I had wanted to hold her, to relieve my stress. I ended up with more stress after holding her.


    ''Argh!''


    I almost punched the wall. At the last moment, I held back. My punch would not have any effect on the wall, but my knuckles would receive the backslash. If Innaya noticed it, which was bound to happen, then I would not have any explanation.


    Sigh! I could not even act unruly. I had to be considerate of her emotions. Then again, there was different beauty in it. Getting accustomed to your partner wasn''t what marriage meant?


    In a way, it was a test of my self-control, which I think I barely passed. However, it allowed me to know her perspectives. I never considered the possibility of her having gaps in her memories. I thought she remembered it well, which caused her to be more affected.


    Talking to her gave me vivid insight into her past. I could link her hesitant behavior when it came to the matter of intimacy to her past.


    The bits and pieces of how much she could remember were weighing her down with their burden. I needed to find a way to help her overcome it.


    I raised my head, with eyes closed to face the showerhead. Droplets of cold water mercilessly whipped my face, leaving the stinging sensation behind.


    ***


    ''Oh, Innaya! My dear wife, you think, you are too smart. Unfortunately, you aren''t.'' I chuckled, watching her trying to be on the guard.


    She thought she could hideaway in the garden, but she forgot a very important thing. The floor to ceiling glass wall did not hide much. The view was exceptionally beautiful and clear from the second floor.


    Sitting in the chair, I silently admired her while enjoying the coffee she had considerately left in the room. I knew she would realize the reason behind my sudden abrupt behavior. One glance at her body, and she must have found the answer.


    She did ultimately. It was not rocket science, I only felt a little regretful for missing the chance of witnessing that shy look on her face. She must have blushed endlessly. What a picture it must have been to look at!


    Though I regret missing it, I had to leave. There was no other option. If I had stayed for a moment longer, we would have ended up doing things both of us would not have liked. I did not want our first time to be the result of hormonal impulse. I would rather suffer some agony waiting for the right time when both of us were ready than making it a result of l.u.s.t. I was never the one to give in to impulses.


    The sight of her n.a.k.e.d flesh still sent shivers down my spine. Even spending almost an hour in a cold shower was not enough to cool down the fire she had ignited.


    For the first time, I felt what it meant to be s.e.x.u.a.lly frustrated. This was also good. At least my body was having a normal reaction. It was desiring my woman.


    I wanted to give her time. I did not want her to feel awkward around me, though I knew it could not be avoided. She was ought to feel shy, awkward around me. I also had to avoid her for a while as my body was still very sensitive to the images of her skin.


    That tiny black mole on a couple of inches down on her left collarbone was still roaming before my eyes. I was in dire need of a cold drink. I stopped drinking the hot beverage, placing the mug down.


    I was again thinking in that forbidden territory. God! I averted my eyes from her figure clad in plain pink saree. The wind blew the end of her saree, my heart fluttered at that.


    My treacherous eyes could not be blamed for their sneaky attempts. They betrayed me and went back to stole some secret glances as her.


    I reckon she herself didn''t know how beautiful she was. She didn''t even need to make efforts for it, and that made it all the more special. My fingers itched by my side to remove those locks from the side of her face.


    Watching her, trying to do her best to stay away from me, I decided to give her time. In the end, I knew whatever I talked about made her bashful. She was an inexperienced girl in the matters of intimacy, how could I expect her to take in everything so easily? I had to be more patient.


    I had never planned to have the conversation this way. We would certainly have had it one day or another. Today, it just happened so suddenly that I did not have time to prepare myself. How could I have warned her? It was not practical.


    However, my wife did not shy away from me as she listened to me. I had seen the thin layer of moisture in her eyes. For a moment, I thought to withdraw and stop talking. But, when in her eyes, I had noticed the eagerness to know more, I continued.


    There was a wave of love emerging in my heart, looking at the woman through the glass. I was transported in the past as I found this particular situation similar to those times I had spent looking at Innaya from afar. At that time, I could observe her how much I wanted without any disturbance.


    I never got bored for I could always learn one thing or another. Being a silent spectator for so long had made me familiar with her body language, feelings, and emotions.


    I could read her like an open book. From looking at her now, I could tell with certainty that she was conflicted. Conflicted at what she should do. One part of her wanted to avoid me, and the other wanted to continue the discussion where we left.


    Her shyness was prohibiting her desire of participating actively in decisions of our life.


    I narrowed my eyes when they caught something which should not have been there. I sat straighter in my seat when I found Fortune in the garden. My all thoughts came to the standstill.


    What was he doing out?


    Before long I was getting out of the chair, rushing down the stairs. I almost ran out of the house to the back garden.


    What if she had a panic attack because of Fortune. Though I knew, he wouldn''t hurt her, but still.


    Prevention was always better than the cure.


    ***

 Chapter 180 - I was bound to fall in the pit I have dug.

    |Innaya|


    Leaning against the tree, I decided to take a small break. From half an hour I was being on guard, slacking for a couple of minutes would not land me any trouble, would it?


    In any case, I could not continue being an owl. My neck started aching from all the streching I was doing for keeping a lookout. Turned out that, I was not designed to have my heart resting in peace. I heard loud footsteps. They were rushed, urgent.


    There was only one person inside the house, who could be the owner of those feet. However, why was he in so much hurry?


    Did he rush out on not finding me in the room? Forgetting my inhibitions, I was filled with joy for a second.


    Soon, that joy was suppressed as I panicked. One part of me wanted to go out before his eyes, while the still shy, and hesitant part of me wanted to retreat and hide.


    "Fortune. Buddy come here," I heard him calling Fortune''s name. There was urgency in his voice. Wait, how did he know Fortune was with me? What was with that fear in his voice?


    Unconsciously, I stepped out of my hiding spot. Fortune had already run over to where Eshan was, happily yelping and barking.


    ''Traitor!'' I murmured under my breath.


    ''How is, he a traitor? You only know him for a couple of days. While that man out there had been there with him since Fortune was a small puppy. You sure are being demanding. Just touching, and petting him one time, do you think you can replace love worth of years? Way to be delusional.'' My mind taunted.


    My mood dropped as I detected the truth in the reasoning. I was the latecomer in Fortune''s life. However, I came in Eshan''s life way before him. Though it was not the same, but I had something to boast about. Mine and Eshan''s relationship was decade old.


    Relief washed over Eshan''s features, and he visibly relaxed. I wanted to retreat, but it was already very late. Eshan''s eyes had frozen me in my place. When I was watching Fortune with little resentment for ditching me and rushing over to Eshan at the first chance he got, Eshan had discovered me.


    "Come here." He motioned with his finger.


    I almost took a step in his direction. Then catching hold of my emotions, I stayed put. Reflexively, I shook my head. The visual of my state back in the room and his reaction danced before my eyes. My face started heating up again.


    I felt my head swelling up with mortification. I turned my back on him and willed my numb legs to move. Brushing past the long trees, I ran in the opposite direction to where he was standing. If he was guarding the main door, I would use the front door to enter inside and hide in any room.


    Till I could be brave enough to face him, I would try and not come before him. With that thought in my head, I willed my head to gain more speed.


    I thought I could outrun him. I thought I could avoid him, and achieve my goal of not coming in front of eyes.


    Who would have thought, my dear husband was faster. He intercepted me in the midway as he caught hold of my wrist and whirled me before locking me in the steel cage of his arms.


    ''Not good. This wasn''t good. Ah!'' I lamented, closing my eyes tightly. I was not afraid of him. I just did not know how to hold his gaze or a conversation with him after the last scene in the bedroom.


    "Where are you running off to?"


    Eshan''s breath tickled my earlobe and involuntarily I shrank back my neck. When did he get so close? How could he catch me so soon?


    After that my surroundings quietened down. Eshan did not make a single sound. If not for the arms around me, I would have thought I was hallucinating things. Thankfully, it was not the case.


    But why would he stay silent?


    What was he doing?


    When after a while, I felt no movement from him, my senses refused to calm down. They wanted to know what was going around. Would it kill if my curiosity stayed put? Forget it, I was bound to fall in the pit I have dug.


    Gingerly opening a slit in my eyes, I looked ahead. Immediately I closed the slight opening when I found Eshan smiling down at me.


    My heart started beating erratically at that beautiful smile on that handsome face of his.


    ''Ah! Calm down you fool!''


    Why was my heart behaving like a teenager? Being an a.d.u.l.t what was there I have not read, watched or listened?


    Yet, in front of the man before me, why would I become timid like a newly wedded bride? The time we spent together was not a small where his slightest touch should leave me with tingling. However, it was exactly what was happening.


    "What, now? You don''t like this face?" I heard Eshan''s playful voice. How could he find time to be mischievous now?


    Something touched my forehead when I remained silent. Nibbling at my lower lip with teeth, I wondered what it was.


    I sighed helplessly when Eshan''s warm breath caressed my face. It was his forehead that was pressing against mine.


    My hands by my side clenched in the fists. The close proximity created a havoc in my heart, it became unbearable for me to forget about what had transpired between us. The increased beating of my heart worried me. I needed to hold on and calm down.


    Unless I wanted to make a fool out of myself, I needed to avoid looking in those hypnotizing eyes of his.


    "Won''t you look at me?" Eshan whispered softly. He pulled away from my forehead. It must be hard for him to bend down at my level. However, when he retreated, it left me feeling a little relieved. Handling his deep voice accompanied by the warm air leaving his nostrils, and those strong hands holding me caged was a task I could not handle.


    And, above all were his words enough to flip my insides.


    I was bound to fall in the pit I have dug.How was I meant to handle this?


    Just how?


    ***

 Chapter 181 - If we are together, well survive.

    |Innaya|


    "Closing your eyes would not make your problems disappear. Just because you don''t think about the lingering issues, would not make them get resolved on their own. What needed to face, had to be faced. There was no other shortcut or simple way. One needed to hold responsibility."


    Grandpa had said that to me. It was really a wonder how I would remember his teachings and words at the apt timing. They really went well with the situation around me.


    My husband still held me, as if he feared I would run away. It was his natural way of holding me, one that made me want to drop my defenses.


    Eshan''s way of working with me, around me to make me comfortable had improved greatly over time. Now, he knew what to say and how. If he wanted to coax me, he did not need too many efforts. It would have scared me, but now it almost felt natural.


    His words of not looking at him were said with so much sadness. I would have given in if I had not noticed the mischief in his eyes early. What was it there for further investigation? I knew him too well. He was pulling my leg.


    I tightly closed my eyes.


    "I''m sorry. Tesoro, don''t behave this way. I was thinking to give you more time. Thus, I waited patiently for a while."


    My ears perked at the new piece of information. He wanted to give me time.


    Half an hour? He called half an hour as giving time. Even if he gave me a week, that would not be enough. Where was his conscience? He thought half an hour was enough? God!


    Hearing him I was about to go in an attacking mode. Because it sounded too ridiculous to my ears. I held back my tongue when I heard him say again. "But with Fortune being around you... I could not sit still."


    Did he feel worried because of Fortune? All my grievances were washed down under the rain of his care. I could not hold up my guards or complaints against this man. He was too precious to get angry with.


    The mention of Fortune brought me back to the happy occasion in the afternoon. The one I so desperately wanted to share with him. I had overcome my cynophobia. Under normal circ.u.mstances, he would have gotten to know it the moment he arrived. Unfortunately, things never went as planned.


    Instead of me giving him a surprise, I suffered a huge shock. However, this helped to divert my attention. I struggled away from his hold.


    "Are you angry now?" I heard him ask again.


    This time, I could not keep my eyes closed. No matter what were my thoughts, I would not wish to hurt him ever. I detected a faint hurt in his voice. I did not want to hurt his feelings. He was not at fault at what happened inside the bedroom. The ever so gentleman he was, he did not make things awkward for me. Them what reason I had to make him feel guilty?


    I opened my eyes slowly. The first thing I noticed was Eshan''s dark eyes waiting impatiently for me to acknowledge him. There was a hint of concern in them.


    "Are you angry at this husband?" Eshan brought his left hand to cup left side of my face. Almost instantly my body leaned instinctively in his warmth. No matter how much front I wanted to hold on, one look, one caress, one word from him was all it took for my defenses to crumble.


    Just how much intertwined we were with each other? As if our souls knew what other one felt... This kind of telepathic connection that extended to our inner souls was too far fetched for my simple mind to believe. However, I could not help but believe it.


    "No," I whispered.


    "You can blame me, but I am not at fault. What happened was already out of my hands. At most, I could only leave to prevent any mishaps from happening."


    Once again the shyness was surfacing with full force as he brought the topic of our bedroom. Why could he not ignore it as of never happened?


    "I know you''re thinking why I am bringing it up again." Eshan''s fingers rubbed the corner of my eye. His fingers then moved to my eyebrow. I did not understand was it deliberate or he was absent-minded, but his fingers exerted a little pressure.


    The pressure felt a little better, and I could not help but think to have my head massaged. How could I think about something like this out of the blue? Why did my thoughts have to wander elsewhere instead of focusing on the matter in hand?


    "Tesoro, I''ll say this again. We need to be talkative so that our relationship only progress instead of being riddled with misunderstandings. I would not be able to bear any more distance. I had once gone through the agony which was enough to kill me multiple times. I can''t go through the same pain again. I know you had it worse. I beg of you to try, and not let any negativity drag you down." Eshan''s eyes held the pain of our separation. It caused my heart to tremble, recalling all the nights and days spent without him.


    "I understand what your past did to you. I know you have been trying your best to not let it affect you. Try a bit harder for us. You''ve me to seek strength from. You are not alone. This husband of yours doesn''t fear any hardship. If we are together, we''ll survive. This is just a matter of physical intimacy. What are you being shy about?" Eshan asked.


    Something warm spread in my heart. Was this the feeling of security they spoke of? Was this the strength your lover gave to you? If yes, then I was fortunate to meet my match.

 Chapter 182 - Make Love

    |Innaya|


    "Agreed, all this is new for you. I ain''t any veteran. If you think a bit more, clothes never defined anyone''s dignity. A person who is barely clothed could be much more dignified than the one covered in clothes of high wealth. It''s just a matter of perspective. If you search a bit more, you''ll find a lot of tribes where clothes aren''t a necessity.


    What happened upstairs, was an accident. Even if it wasn''t, what of it? Sooner or later these worldly possessions are not going to exist in between us. Then what are you getting stressed over? Don''t. Don''t let it make you feel under-confident. Don''t let it cast a barrier in between us. I need you by my side. If our relationship were to suffer because of the topic of intimacy, I promise I won''t bring it up again¡ª"


    I placed my hands on his lips, cutting off what he was going to continue. Could he get anymore perfect?


    The flaws lie within yourself. No one can force you to do anything unless you want to. If you gave in the demands of others and change yourself, then that''s not you.


    As Eshan said, what actually holds us back is no outside force but our insecurities and fears. We fear being judged. We fear being laughed at. We fear disappointing others. In truth, we fails to achieve almost a majority of things because of our own fears. Getting afraid of failing miserably we hesitate. That hesitation ruins it all.


    Listening to Eshan, I understood it all. How could I let him continue when those words of his shot alike an arrow, and lodged straight at my heart. His ability to pinpoint exact reasons, and helping me to see the new perspectives was getting better and bolder day by day.


    With my palm pressing against his lips, I continued to stare in those beautiful eyes. How could I feel those conflicting emotions at the same time?


    Previously, I wanted to stay out of his sight for awhile unable to handle the result of my unclothed self. However, after listening to him, I wondered who was that wanting to avoid him?


    His reasoning, his patience, and in the end his thoughtfulness was truly remarkable.


    If I was not ready, then he said he was not going to bring that topic. If I said, I don''t want s.e.x, then was he going to agree to that as well? Just how much he loved me?


    His hand left my face, and I immediately felt the loss. But, soon I was relieved when he held my palm and removed it from his lips.


    "Why am I making you cry? Are my words that awful?" He helplessly shook his head.


    Tearfully, I nodded my head in negative.


    ''Your words aren''t awful, I am.'' I did not voice my thoughts though. Eshan would never let me criticize myself. He would prefer criticizing himself but he would never allow me. That was how my husband was.


    "Sorry..." I did not know what to say. "I can not say, I overreacted. Because I did not. Being caught in such kind of situation for the first time, I felt loss at what to do. I did not know how I was supposed to handle the situation. So, I chose the safest path. Running and hiding away," I admitted.


    "I''m not saying it''s wrong. No. It''s okay. All I''m saying is just don''t drift away," Eshan replied almost instantly. His words carried a sense of loneliness. Was he reminded of those two months again?


    "Eshan, you don''t need to hold yourself back. We both love each other, I know we are going to... going to-". I repeated the same word again and again. I could not bring the word ''s.e.x'' on my lips. My courage was that much only.


    I was going to try, that did not mean I could be bold and straight-forward overnight. Changes took time. Nothing happened instantly in real life.


    "Make love," Eshan completed for me.


    I absentmindedly nodded, then his words dawned on me, and I immediately dove in his embrace.


    Well, where was the girl who wanted to be brave?


    Eshan chuckled loudly. I could not help, but hide my face more. All the talks were good to hear, they made sense, but adapting them needed time.


    Thankfully, Eshan did not push me.


    "I know. We''ll take it slow. One step at a time. I don''t want to overwhelm you." He caressed my head.


    For a while, we stood there in silence. I did not know what was he thinking, but my thoughts revolved around what he said.


    "Hey, Fortune, buddy we''ll play later."


    I pulled back when I heard him talking to Fortune. Fortune had gotten closer to Eshan''s legs, and was rubbing his head to his knee.


    In everything I had forgotten to mention how I beat my cynophobia, and them why did he return so early? He had back to back meetings today. He had told me in the morning. That was why I had insisted that he should go.


    "Didn''t you have meetings? How come you return early?" I frowned as I asked him.


    Eshan fingers rubbed the area between my eyebrows as he tried to remove those lines.


    "I was missing you," he simply replied.


    Stunned at his direct admission, I did not know if he was being truthful or joking. How could he leave his work, just because he missed me?


    He could have called me or either received mine. I would never want his work to suffer because of me.


    I pursued my lips, little unhappily asking him. "Why did you not pick up my calls?"


    "You called?" There was surprise flashing on his face.


    "Yes, many times. Where were you? I thought you''re in a meeting when you didn''t answer," I replied, narrowing my eyes.


    "Oh! I did not know. I''ll check my mobile later, I have left it upstairs." He seemed clueless about the matter, so I decided to stop asking.


    "Why did you call though? Were you missing me as well?" He cheekily asked, once again throwing his arm around my shoulders and pulling me to his side.


    ***


    8/10


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 Chapter 183 - I wanted to share this with you

    |Innaya|


    I ignored his suggestive winks. The matter I wanted to share was above everything, I could not get distracted. I had to share the good news with him. I looked down and caught Fortune''s eyes.


    Gosh. I couldn''t avert my gaze from him. I have never found a dog as cute as I found Fortune.


    I grinned brightly, my eyes twinkling in the surprise. For a moment, I feared that I would strain my jaw with how widely I had stretched my lips. What I had achieved was something to feel proud of. For years, I had been in the shadows fearing a species that could not be any more friendly. Dogs were considered the most sought after pet species.


    Today, my fears were cast aside. I had taken a step forward, breaking the shackles of my past, how could I not feel proud?


    I had never thought that I would ever be able to get rid of my fear of dogs. I had never thought that I would be able to stand without shaking around a dog. I had never thought that I would be able to bring myself to develop fond of them.


    Wriggling a little, I managed to break free from his hold. Right before Eshan''s eyes, I squatted on the ground. Eshan''s hand was left hanging outstretched in the air, as he watched me with surprised filled eyes. My heart began racing as I was about to take the step that I could not keep calm about.


    "This, I wanted to share this with you," I said as I glanced at Fortune, and then back at him. Some sort of realization seemed to be dawning on him as his lips slightly parted. The amount of happiness that I had in my heart made me feel that it would burst out.


    I could not take a chance of him stopping me, so I brought my palm to Fortune''s head and started caressing it. Fortune plopped on the ground letting me do whatever I wanted.


    "Aww... Do you like it? You like it, honey?" I gently cooed. My smile widened as I continued touching his warm skin.


    With my face holding victorious and proud expressions, I turned my head and tilted it upward to take a look at Eshan''s expression. Was he shocked? Surprised? Happy? I wanted to know what he felt at the moment.


    "What the!"


    "Pfft..." I laughed out aloud. With his jaw dropped in surprise, eyes widened in shock, and his body bent down in an awkward position with his hand reaching out for my shoulder, he presented a hilarious picture.


    I could not stop my laughter. He looked truly adorable. My laughter seemed to have startled him because he started falling forward. Quickly reaching out, I supported him. He would have crushed Fortune otherwise.


    "What is there to be so shocked about? I''m just touching him." I unhappily muttered, but deep inside I was feeling happy.


    "How? What? I mean... Damn! Are you okay? Do you think we need to see the doctor? What about your cynophobia? Wait..." Eshan looked lost for the words as he sat beside me. I could see how worked up he had got.


    "Hey, hey... Eshan, calm down. I''m okay. This is what I wanted to share with you. I defeated my cynophobia. I made progress with Fortune. Now not only I can freely touch him while having him around, I no longer feel the slightest bit of fear from him," I happily announced my feelings.


    Fortune snorted beside me as his eyes were fixed on Eshan''s face. Why did it seem like he found Eshan''s reaction stupid?


    Never mind. I was happy with the reaction I received from Eshan.


    I watched Eshan glancing at my hand which was caressing Fortune, then at Fortune, and then his eyes turned to me again.


    "Haha..." Eshan laughed once he got over the shock. "Wonderful. It''s wonderful. Congratulations my dear wife." He clapped his hands.


    His happiness was contiguous because I started smiling too. I could just keep looking at him like that.


    "When did this happen? How did you do it?" He turned his inquiring gaze at me. He seemed curious and that was what I had expected so it didn''t surprise me.


    "In the afternoon. It happened just like that," I replied, recalling how I had taken that small little initiative, and rest happened on its own.


    "That''s why you called," Eshan muttered to himself. "I missed it. Damn it." He looked a bit disappointed.


    "Don''t worry, I have recorded the video," I gently added. Eshan patted my head ruffling my hair as if I was a child. The mere mention of me having recorded the video has him smiling so lovingly.


    Sitting like this with him and Fortune was also good. This calmness, peace was slowly calming down my nerves.


    I leaned against Eshan while my hand did not stop rubbing Fortune''s fur. Arjun had really maintained him well.


    "Arjun really looked after him well. Fortune is such a good boy," I voiced out my thoughts. My eyes never left Fortune''s. His head rested on his front paws as he silently received my pampering. My heart could not resist his cuteness.


    How could I have missed something like this for so long? If I had known, having a dog felt like this, relaxed you mentally, I could have had tried every means to try and get over my fears.


    Nonetheless, it was never too late. If not for Arjun to drop Fortune at our place, I would still be stuck with my cynophobia. Once again, directly or indirectly, Arjun had helped me in dealing with my problems.


    "True. Arjun loves Fortune very much. Sometimes he sleeps holding Fortune in his bed. I wonder, how he is managing without him." Eshan sighed. His eyes held a faraway look in them. Even his tone expressed his worry for his friend.


    Did he really not know where Arjun was? What if, Arjun was in any problem? I had not received any calls from him. I had called him today as well, but the response I got was the operator saying mobile was switched off. What was going on with him?


    I stopped caressing Fortune. Slightly pulling back, I looked at his face, asking him, "Do you have any other number of his? I had called him in the afternoon, but it said switched off. I''m feeling that things are not well at his end."


    I hoped he would not get jealous as he had gotten in the morning. Truthfully, he wasn''t jealous. He just wanted to pull my leg. However, his legs got pulled by that woman in the morning. Recalling her face, I could not help but compare my timid, introvert, shy personality with her outspoken, bold, and confident one.


    Even the clothes she wore were the ones I could never think to wear.


    Eshan''s sigh stopped my mind from going into the overdrive. He rested his chin on top of my head. "No, Tesoro. We can''t contact him unless he wants to. I also feel that be should not be any problem, but if he''s, let''s pray that he get back unharmed."


    ***

 Chapter 184 - Does that mean we would spend a night together?

    |Innaya|


    While washing the utensils my thought reeled back to the Arjun. After listening to what Eshan said, my heart was not feeling at ease. No matter what, he was the first person beside Eshan to stick to me. When I was told that he could be in a problem, I could not stay still.


    Though I wanted to probe Eshan further, I had to stop. He could have told me if he knew. Because he kept silent even after knowing, I realized he was most likely telling the truth. I decided to pray for him regularly.


    My hand trembled considering the possibility of him being hurt. The plate in my hand almost fell, but at the exact moment, someone caught it.


    My eyes followed the long arms to Eshan''s smiling face. When did he enter the kitchen? Wasn''t the attending the conference call in his study?


    We had finished our dinner early after we returned from the garden. Eshan then went ahead with his work while I did the same. Who knew, Eshan would return so early.


    "Thank you!" I took the plate from his hands.


    "Okay?" His concerned eyes glanced at me.


    I nodded, smiling a bit. I was lost in my thoughts, thus my hold had slackened. There was nothing to worry about.


    "Why are you here?" I asked him when he leaned against the kitchen counter and had no intention of leaving.


    "Nothing, I wanted ginger tea."


    "Oh! Wait a bit, I''ll quickly prepare one." I wiped my hands with the kitchen towel. I was done with washing all the dishes. It would not take me long to prepare the tea according to his taste.


    "Make that two." Eshan crossed his arms across his chest.


    "Someone is coming?" I faced him. I did not recall that we invited anyone. Then who could be arriving so late?


    "Ar-"


    "No." Eshan shook his head. "Another one is for you. We''ll continue from where we left. Come to the bedroom." He winked before he went away.


    The spoon in my hand trembled. Some tea powder spilled on the counter.


    ''We''ll continue where we left.''


    ''Come to the bedroom.''


    His sentences whirled in my head.


    What did we leave incomplete? I could not understand.


    ***


    The mystery Eshan left behind made things difficult for me. Because I had decoded it, things were complicated. He wanted us to continue our topic of intimacy.


    Like what the hell! Ah! I could not stop my face from turning red.


    Could I have the option of backing out?


    With every step I crossed, I could not help but wonder what would happen in the bedroom. No matter how much I wanted to drag the time, I could not do so because of the hot tea I was holding. If I were to stall for time, would not it mean that tea will cool down?


    Though it would give me more time, in the end, tea would be wasted. Sigh! How did I end up in such a predicament?


    I reached the threshold of our bedroom. At first, I did not notice that the door was open. So, when I reached out to push the door, my hand met with the empty air. Lifting my head, I looked ahead.


    The whole room was bathed in the dim yellow glow. The glass door connecting the balcony had a colorful small LED lights attached in the shape of a rose. Moving my gaze, I found the number of candles lit in every possible corner of the room. I inhaled sharply on finding how beautifully the room was decorated. A strong smell of rosemary assaulted my olfactory senses. I could not help but breathe more into it, while my eyes searched for the origin of it.


    Beside the bed, on the side table, an incense stick was burning. The smell was coming from there. My eyes then moved to the perfectly made bed. All that remained was the path of rose petals on the floor and heart shape of them on the bed. Then the room would have converted into the one for the first night of newlyweds.


    Firstly, I had not paid that much attention to what would follow later, only focussing on how much effort was put in decorating the room. However, I was jolted in reality when the bathroom door opened and a figure dressed in a white shirt and black slacks walked out.


    Suddenly my throat went dry as I followed the towel to the wet hair of the man. A simple action such as wiping the hair dry sent my mind in a whirlwind.


    Who knew Eshan had that capability? How did he end up in the shower? Hardly fifteen minutes must have passed since he asked me to make the tea. Then when did he do all this, and he even took a shower. Was there any secret trick hidden in it?


    If I could accomplish things so swiftly, then I could have so much spare time to spend.


    ''Hey, you fool. Return to the present. Do you see the significance of the decoration that had been done? Open your eyes and take a clear look again.''


    My mind returned to the pressing reality with a bang.


    "You brought the tea. Great. Come inside, why are you standing at the door?" Eshan''s voice came from the inside.


    Was it the ambiance in the room affecting me or he deliberately made his voice deeper? Was I overthinking again?


    ''Argh!''


    I never thought Eshan could be a step ahead and organize everything so swiftly. Does that mean we would spend a night together?


    ''You always spend nights together.'' My mind scoffed.


    ''I know. We always spent a night together. What I meant is as a couple? We would spend a night making love.'' I snapped back at my mind.


    My discussion with my inner voice came to an abrupt halt when two warm palms brushed against mine as the tray of the tea was taken away.


    "Where are you lost? I''ve been calling your name for a while, Tesoro," Eshan gently spoke.


    His voice was neither rushed or pressing. For a fact of the matter, I felt it was little teasing.


    ***


    Unedited

 Chapter 185 - Seduction

    |Innaya|


    My heart dropped in my chest.


    Was I being too absentminded today? Thinking about it, it was true.


    Early in the afternoon, when I saw Eshan in the bedroom, I had frozen in the shock. Back in the garden, the same happened. Right now, it was happening again. Where was my self-control?


    If my self-control could take a shape, I would have fed him bitter soups made with herbs and plants. Then I would have seen how could he lose control so easily.


    Shaking my head to get rid of my stupid thoughts, I followed Eshan inside. That small brush of his hand appeared to be causal for he made no effort of touching me again.


    What was happening? My mind was working in overdrive. As a result of it, I bumped into Eshan''s back.


    "Ahh!" I shrieked, rubbing the place on side of my forehead.


    Eshan also turned in his feet. I did not see what he had been doing early, but now as he turned so noticed he had poured the tea in the glass kettle and left it on the induction.


    Since when we had an induction in our bedroom? I frowned. All the different things had to happen today. Was I being that ignorant?


    "Be careful, Tesoro. We wouldn''t want you getting hurt now, would we?"


    "Huh?" I raised my eyes when I heard him. Looking at the man whose face was covered in a faint yellow glow, I felt a strange feeling building in my heart.


    His lips moved, but all I could think of the way how they moved against mine. So, I failed to listen to him.


    Eshan''s lips curled in a smirk. He slightly shook his head as if he was looking at something stupid.


    Then again, I was the object of his vision, was I being stupid?


    I scrunched my nose, thinking what was wrong with me? Was something wrong with the air in the room? Was it that rosemary smell? I glared resentfully at the incense stick.


    "Haha..."


    Eshan laughed, throwing his head back. Those white teeth flashed for a moment before my eyes went to those happy eyes of his. He was having fun.


    Despite wanting to be, I could not get angry at him. That carefree laughter of his had some unknown effect on my heart. I wanted him to always have this kind of happiness.


    Lately, I had seen how he was burdened with something or other. He would always have things burdening him. I hated that I could not share his worries. His offer was joining his office started being more and more appealing to me. That way, I could know if it was something related to his work.


    "Oh, Innaya. You''re too cute."


    Eshan pinched my cheeks, looking at me with adoration.


    Immediately I blushed, knowing too well that he knows exactly why I was being absent-minded.


    My eyes widened when I thought of something that I had recently seen in the movie another day. This setting was too similar to one on that. It was not only me who had watched it, but Eshan was beside me as well. We spent a night cuddling and watching that romantic movie. The movie had drifted into a mature plot, and at the same point, the movie was forgotten as we ended up indulging ourselves in a rather passionate make-out session.


    I blushed to recall those soulful kisses of his. After a bit of difficulty, I regained my slightly astray thoughts and then thought about the particular scene and the theme from that movie.


    Seduction.


    Was Eshan trying to seduce me?


    ''Ah!'' Mortified my eyes snapped to the decoration of the room. Objectively most of the things were inspired by it.


    Biting my lip I turned my gaze to the man standing inches away from me... He had been watching me. From how long? My cheeks were still pinched in his.


    His fingers left my cheek and moved to the work of freeing my abused lower lips from the imposing teeth. I could smell the faint taste of the blood. My teeth had scr.a.p.ed the delicate skin and caused it to slightly bleed. The kiss we had shared in the afternoon had already quite worn them out. They had swollen a little, but it had reduced by the night.


    Eshan pressed the corner of my lip. It must be that place where I hurt myself.


    "Sweetheart, why must you make it difficult for this poor husband of yours? Have I made you upset in any way?"


    I nearly went mad with frustration. He had the nerve to complain. He was making it difficult for me, and he was accusing me. Wow! Just wow!


    Puffing my cheek, I moved out of his reach. I could not handle him. Going around the bed, I chose the left side and went under the covers. I better sleep in order to preserve my own sanity.


    This amount of stimulation was not good for my poor heart. Who knew, just who the hell you knew Eshan could turn out into someone like this? The man held the capability of sending my heart into overdrive even without lifting his fingers.


    Seemed like, he had started to awaken that side of me who wanted to explore the secrets of intimacy between a couple. Either he had done his research or he was naturally very good at it. In either way, it was dangerous for my heart.


    I wondered if someday, I would be the one to make a move instead of him. My own curiosity made me afraid. He lost his control today. I had brazenly explored his countenance when he was asleep.


    That too when I wasn''t in love with him.


    Things were different now. I loved him. If I could take a step at that time, then who could grantee that my hands would not wander without my command?


    I needed to keep my curiosity in control.


    ***


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 Chapter 186 - Six month wedding anniversary

    |Eshan|


    Could I take a moment to admire my bashful wife?


    How did I get so lucky? Our relationship was getting beautiful with every passing day. I had no intention of doing all the decorations, making it special for her. It was till the moment I realized what day it was that I started preparing in secrecy.


    It was a day when we completed six months to our beautiful union in the matrimony. Could so let go of the day without doing anything special. But, my beautiful wife seemed to have misunderstood my intention.


    Why would not she? After what had happened in the afternoon, she would, of course, assume the obvious thing. I was in no rush to explain anything to her.


    She looked too cute to ignore. I could use this time to tease her a bit. She teased me differently. I could not do that to her, so I would go with minimal teasing.


    I recalled it being our six months wedding anniversary a bit late when the day was about to end. I could not do much, so I settled with the most I could do. I had these candles, incense, LEDs in the storeroom. They were used for last Diwali. Who knew, they would end up helping me today?


    I had ordered a cake. It had been delivered swiftly for the shop was nearby. Innaya did not notice because I had gone out to receive the cake and directly brought it in the room.


    Everything was set. So, I went to call her after making sure that everything was perfectly in place. I had to make an excuse and delay her for a bit because I needed to take a shower. I had ended up little sweaty with all the efforts I had taken.


    Thus I had made the excuse of tea. I needed that tea for feeling refreshed, but then the end motive was to earn some time.


    Everything went according to plan. But, what I did not expect was the lost reaction of my wife. For a moment, I was scared thinking I had pushed her far. It was only after I had observed her carefully for a while, I noticed that enchanted look on her face.


    Had the event in the afternoon not happened, we would have celebrated our anniversary in a different way. However, now I knew we could not take that route. Sigh! What a pity!


    I stood silently, watching my wife running away and hiding under the covers. Her face had turned a beautiful shade of red. I chuckled knowing exactly what she was thinking. She was thinking about the movie, we watched another night.


    And, I knew exactly what was running inside that head of hers... It made me want to laugh harder.


    ''Why are you so cute?'' I sighed, feeling helpless. I could never get enough of her innocent beauty.


    Shameless. I was turning shameless


    Then again, if not for my wife, who I was going to act shamelessly with.


    The movement under the covers went still. Innaya tried to pretend to fall asleep. Who slept within a second and that too by covering themselves fully at the starting of winter? And, without breathing normally? Oy my wife, could think of that way to avoid things she did not want to face.


    Sighing to myself, I advanced toward her. I knew she could hear my steps, and deliberately I made sounds.


    She did not sleep at the corner, so that left space by her side. Comfortably adjusting myself in that space, I placed my right hand on the other side of her body, effectively trapping the bundled figure with my arms


    "Tesoro," I called out.


    I did not receive any response. Okay.


    I tried again. "Tesoro."


    There was a slight twitching movement under the cover. Bringing my upper body down, I exerted a little pressure.


    "Move away. You''re heavy. You want to suffocate me?" Innaya blurted out, pushing the covers, and my chest away.


    Her cheeks were puffed up and the blush from early was still there. I really wanted to know what she was thinking. How I wished I could have that ability to read the minds. I would have taken away all her negative thoughts. Alongside this, I wished I could wipe away the past. How good it would have turned out. I could have erased that horrible past of hers.


    Unfortunately, I did not have those superpowers that existed in only fantasies. I only had the power of my limitless love. And, it was enough for me. I would use my love as a shield to block all the pain for her.


    I would rather suffer countless knives than letting tears of pain gather in her eyes. She was too precious to suffer the ugly side of this world.


    Unfortunately, she had been subjected to suffer in the hands of the man with the same blood.


    I sighed, forcefully curving the anger taking a place in my heart recalling her father.


    "What are you thinking?" Innaya frowned. She must have noticed the change in my expressions. We were so tuned to each other''s emotions.


    "Nothing." I caressed her red cheek. The soft skin felt too good to touch under my fingertips. My chest swells with pride for being the reason for it. She was blushing for me. Which man would not take pride in that?


    "I''m sleepy," she whispered softly.


    I smiled in response. It was her excuse for getting away. How could I let the day end just like that? I looked at the clock on the table.


    We had around an hour before the new day started. It was enough for my plans to fulfill.


    "Give me an hour. Then you can sleep?" I requested her, removing the covers from her body.


    "An hour? You can finish in an hour?" She asked unblinkingly.


    At first, I did not understand what she meant. So, I just nodded my head.


    When her mouth dropped in surprise and her eyes traveled on my body, I realized what was wrong.


    This time, I could not stop myself from laughing out loud. While laughing, I leaned down, I could not resist that adorable pout of hers.


    ***

 Chapter 187 - Didnt seem like you two love each other.

    |Innaya|


    No one can predict what will happen in the future. I never thought that we would have this day in our life after what we went through. Nothing is permanent. Everything is temporary. I had seen his friends. They were never good news for me. Did I not have a very good experience? Sahil. Sameer. Barun. Karan. Mark. They all were in one way or another, Eshan''s friends. I wondered how this friend of his going to turn into.


    My hands, busy cutting onions, had no guidance of my eyes which furiously refused to leave the sight of Eshan. I could see his cheerful figure sitting on the couch in the hall right in front of me. With his friend, Ayesha.


    Ayesha was apparently Eshan''s childhood friend. She was ten when her family migrated to the US. She had appeared early in the morning at 4.30 AM when Eshan was deep in sleep. My weak slumber most of the time kept me on alert so I had quickly moved down to attend the visitor before the doorbell could wake Eshan up. She had a huge bouquet of red roses in her one hand and a large gift-wrapped box in another.


    I was certainly taken aback when my gaze fell upon her for the first time. It was a little unexpected to have a lady come to their place with a romantic gesture. At first, I had thought I was thinking too much along the romantic lines. I had politely asked who she was and her first question was - who I was.


    I wouldn''t lie. It affected me a bit that she was asking about my identity in my own home rather than telling hers. The roses and the gift in her hand were already not helping me keep my sanity. Something about her and something about them felt off. Oddly off. I had mentally smacked myself for even thinking the same.


    I hadn''t missed the way her mouth had fallen open and her eyes had held the sheer disbelief in them as if she just did not want to accept that I was Eshan''s wife, but she had quickly covered it up with a smile and let me know that she was Eshan''s friend and was there to meet him.


    I hadn''t missed the surprise on Eshan''s face either when I had woke him up, reasoning that there was a female friend of his who was over, after making her sit in the hall. He had scratched the back of his head, figuring out who it could be as she hadn''t even told me her name.


    By the time Eshan and I had walked down, we found her pacing in the Hall. Eshan had still looked clueless to me as if he didn''t recognize her.


    It wasn''t unless she uttered Shan, Eshan seemed to have suddenly brightened up. He had rushed forward to engulf her in a hug and I... had not liked it. Though I felt it was awful of me to react mentally the way I did, I couldn''t help it. If I did not like it, then I didn''t. I was slowly learning to let go of denial and that was why I was accepting the reality that having Eshan that close to a woman did not please me.


    Back then, when I had been ridiculous and accused him of having a relationship with some other woman, I hadn''t felt this way. I was hurt then. I had felt cheated. The feelings were unhealthy and I knew it.


    Now, it wasn''t the same case. Despite the fact that I did not like the closeness Eshan shared with Ayesha, the emotion of being cheated wasn''t even in the deepest corner of my heart.


    Was I getting jealous?


    "Ah," I winced in pain. As I looked down, I felt nauseated at the blood on the onions. Since my eyes weren''t in coordination with my hands, I ended up cutting my own finger.


    "Innaya."


    I heard Eshan''s scream as he left Ayesha and ran in the kitchen. I witnessed the same concern in his eyes that I always did when I was hurt and Eshan was around. I felt better. The pain was no longer on my mind. Having Eshan holding my hand tenderly had me forget every bit of the pain.


    "Why can''t you be careful?"


    He dragged me to the sink and ran my finger under the cold water. Even his scolding made me feel so good that I began contemplating if I was becoming mentally unstable.


    "I... am... okay," I stammered, taking my hand back from Eshan after glancing at Ayesha who had also come up to us. The moment I did that, his muscles stiffened and watching it broke me like it had been breaking me for the past month.


    The unsaid, invisible barrier that Eshan had created between us had been tearing me apart little by little.


    I wondered if he ever realized what his cold attitude towards me doing to me?


    Was it even possible?


    I lowered my gaze to conceal the thin layer of tears formed in my eyes until I fought them off and grabbed control of emotions.


    "Are you okay?" Ayesha asked me, to which I just nodded.


    "I am fine. You two sit and enjoy. I''ll quickly get breakfast ready." I purposely avoided looking at Eshan. Not that he was looking at me anyway.


    "Ayesha, you sit. I''ve some important emails to reply to. I''ll be back in a while."


    I did not know how much Ayesha could figure out from his tone, but I, for the one, knew he was off. So was I though.


    But why the sudden change of attitude?


    He was just giggling, laughing, and... enjoying with his best friend until the knife sliced through my skin. He was laughing like that... after so long.


    ''You no longer are capable of giving him any happiness, Innaya. You no longer are.'' My heart sank at the realization. I picked up the knife again, resuming cutting onions. I shifted the onions to one side before I took some green chilies to cut, completely ignoring that Ayesha was still standing near me until she initiated a conversation.


    Frankly, I wasn''t looking forward to having one but nonetheless, I had to have one for she was ''his'' friend.


    "For how long you two have been married?"


    My hands continued working and I remained visibly calm when in fact, I was frowning from inside. Did he not tell her? What were they even talking for the past two hours?


    ''Stop it, Innaya. Just stop doing it.'' It seemed like I would have to remind myself not to let myself feel that weird emotion people often termed jealousy.


    "You two had an arranged marriage, I am sure."


    She passed a comment when I did not reply to her earlier. I didn''t mean to do that though. I was just lost in my thoughts but the recent statement she had just made... kind of offended me. It didn''t seem to be said with a good intention to me.


    I poured a little oil in a pan and as I waited for it to get heated, I gave a bit of my time to Ayesha. "What made you assume that?" At that moment,


    I did not care if I sounded rude. Not that she was being too sweet to me anyway.


    "Didn''t seem like you two love each other."


    ***

 Chapter 188 - Threatened

    |Innaya|


    At times like this, how was one supposed to act? Fl.u.s.tered? Angered? Someone, you have never met passes the judgment on your relationship. Someone who has no idea about your relationship, questions the credibility, what do you do?


    Gets angry on them? Throw them out of your house? Slap them? Just how the hell are you supposed to act?


    I couldn''t help the rush of anger that set my heart on fire. How dare she ask any such thing to me? Just because she was Eshan''s friend, I was entertaining her all along, but there had to be a limit to everything. At that moment, I felt the vibe she was giving me from the minute I saw her was not misunderstood by me.


    "Beware. What seems to eyes can be deceptive." I shot her a glance while I continued stirring the onions in the pan.


    "Hahaha. Doesn''t seem to be true in this case."


    My hand stilled for a moment as I heard her laughter followed by the words that fuelled the already ignited fire inside me. Nobody had irritated and infuriated me as much as this lady was doing. She was getting on my nerves to be precise. Who gave her the right to meddle in someone''s business?


    "I am not quite sure what you are trying to do," I muttered, this time not sparing her a look. I was trying really hard not to be disrespectful because again, she was¡­ his friend.


    I felt my skin crawling when she walked and stood behind me. It was getting creepy by then. She leaned on to me, whispering in my ear, "I am doing what exactly you are thinking."


    And before I could respond, she walked out, not before turning once and giving me that cunning smile that set everything clear in front of me.


    She was here¡­ for Eshan. For¡­ my Eshan.


    I could only look at that retreating back of hers. My perception regarding his friends was right. They were never good news for me. They never liked me.


    Why she had to turn out to be this way? Why did women covet someone else''s man, right before their eyes? I never thought some people could be so shameless. Was I judging her too quickly?


    But, I heard her. How would Eshan react if I told him about this? She was his childhood friend. Would he believe me? I did not want to be the reason for the conflict between two friends. Because of me, Eshan had lost a good amount of friends. I would not want him to lose another one because of me.


    ***


    As we three sat together for breakfast, there was an eerie silence in the air which was utterly uncomfortable. I found Eshan glancing at me once in a while when he thought I was not aware but heck, I was aware of every single move of his.


    "Oh, Innaya, this is yum."


    What? Really? Just a while ago, she was being all creepy to me, and now in front of Eshan, she was praising my cooking skills? Was she an actress or something? How could one possibly act this bipolar?


    "And, I hope you know, I was kidding in the kitchen back then."


    What the real f¡­.? I looked at her and found her sweetly smiling at me. Eshan''s eyes rose in curiosity about what was happening. Was she being serious, though? I wondered.


    "Of course. I didn''t mind." Liar. She was making me lie what I hated the most.


    And yet again, I convinced myself that I was overthinking. I meant, of course, she could really be kidding like she was admitting now.


    But, she could not be kidding and rather lying right now. Ugh. My mind was a mess. A horrible and terrible mess!


    ''Pretend to be okay, Innaya. Pretend to be okay. For how many more hours would she be here anyway? Two? Maximum, four. That''s about it. Then she is out of your home and your and your husband''s space.'' I mentally chanted, pulling a fake smile on my lips.


    "Oh damn."


    The silence was once again broken by her.


    "What''s wrong?" Eshan asked. He looked so sincerely worried that for a second, it filled me with jealousy. I had nothing to justify myself for it but all it did was make me feel jealous. Period.


    "My hotel booking got canceled. They are saying they have some issues so they aren''t allowing anyone today. Damn it."


    And, all of a sudden, I was finding it awfully similar to a daily soap scene. The villain woman finding clich¨¦ ways to stay with the man she loved.


    The man she loved? What the heck was I even thinking? She did not love Eshan. I tried pacifying myself. But why couldn''t she? Eshan was so good that anyone could fall for him.


    "What is there to get worked up over? You can stay here with us."


    "Really? I mean, no. I can''t. I don''t want to disturb, you people."


    "It''s no disturbance." Eshan looked at me for my confirmation and I had to nod. Did I have the option of getting up and telling her that no, I was not okay with her staying with us?


    "That''s it, then. You are staying with us."


    The moment he uttered that¡­ the moment they shared a high-five¡­ the moment she excitedly jumped on to him and he held her in a hug¡­ the moment... he brought his best smile for her... was the moment¡­ I felt threatened. I knew I was being ridiculous, but I felt threatened.


    Sitting there was becoming difficult. I quietly got up with my plate and moved to the kitchen. Eshan didn''t even bother stopping me. Had we really grown this distant?


    I failed to contain my tears in my eyes. Why life had to turn this way? We were so happy. How things changed so drastically?


    I did not understand what the arrival of Ayesha was going to do to our relationship. I could already see her claws pointed out towards Eshan. She wanted him.


    And, Eshan, he did not seem to be noticing this. He did not seem to be noticing how cunning she was. He was smiling, talking freely to her.


    I never wanted him to distance himself from his friends. But, she was not his friend. She wanted something else. She wanted a place in his heart. She wanted a place in his life. She wanted my position in his life.


    How could he not notice it? He was not that naive, then was he doing it deliberately to punish me? Was he putting this front?


    Then why did it hurt so much? Why did his ignorance was hurting me?


    I never wanted stars from the sky, but his attention and love. Now, that his attention was not reserved only for me that I felt threatened. I did not know how to handle myself.


    I could not stay there and watch them talking happily about the memories they shared. Ayesha had her unique way of connecting to Eshan. Their childhood memories. She knew his family as well. As for me after marriage, I had the least contact with my in-laws. So occasionally I heard them chatting about my in-laws, I could not help but feel more depressed.


    In some ways, she was more close to him.


    ***

 Chapter 189 - Hug me, please (1)

    | Innaya |


    Sometimes I wonder how my life would have turned out had I not met Eshan. A small voice always keeps telling me that we were destined to meet. There was something strong, an unexplainable force that always pulled me towards him and I could not find words to pinpoint what exactly it is.


    Destiny never played fair. When you think everything is going peacefully, a wave of misery hits you with full force.


    I locked myself inside the washroom, refusing to go out and witness my husband with his friend who seemed to be having some different intentions altogether. Why did she have to jump in our life now as if we were already having any fewer issues?


    A lot had been changed in the past one month.


    A lot.


    The choice I had made a month ago had come with its repercussions and one of them was... Eshan had grown distant from me.


    Having PTSD had always made things problematic for me and even though, with Eshan''s help, I was getting better, one incident, one choice, one argument and I was back at the square one.


    Normal people would never understand the struggles of a PTSD patient. We get better. We stay better. But it''s never permanent. It never is. It takes us a mere something to go back to being awfully awful.


    People might find that irritating, unrealistic and annoying but then, this is reality. This is how PTSD patients suffer for real. I wished people understood that it''s nothing like what they show in movies. You are never really out of it. You are never really over your past.


    You continue to suffer. You continue being awful. You continue to accuse. You continue to get accused. You continue to spoil your relationsh.i.p.s even though that''s the last thing you want to do and you continue to... grieve over the broken pieces of your relationship that you yourself have broken.


    I splashed water on my face over and over until I felt the calm of cold water relaxing my tensed muscles.


    Pressing my hands on the corners of the sink, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. What had I really become? Why could I never get better? Why did Eshan have to face because of my PTSD?


    I could never really come out of the guilt. It was always somewhere deep inside me. I always felt that he was too good for me. Too good literally.


    I reached out for the hand towel to wipe my face dry.


    I had just begun working on myself and this... Ayesha appeared out of nowhere and I could just feel that she was here to mess up our already messed up life. I could just feel it. She gave me that vibe.


    Ayesha. Ugh. She was making me realize time and again that Eshan and I... we weren''t blissfully happy together.


    "Innaya."


    I heard a knock on the door followed by his voice. A tear trickled down my cheek when I didn''t hear the same warmth in his voice that I always would.


    I wiped the tear before I adjusted my hair and stepped out.


    As I was out, I was met with his eyes that scanned my face almost as instantly as they fell on me.


    "Have you been crying?"


    I did not respond to him and rather went to straighten the already neatly arranged bedsheet. "No. Why would I be crying?"


    "You have an issue with Ayesha staying with us?"


    His other question left my hands stilled, clutching the bedsheet in my fist. "No. Why would I have an issue with her?"


    "I don''t know. You tell me," he spoke as he came closer to me. Closer yet so distant. I purposely kept my gaze on the work in my hands, pretending to be busy setting it right until he spoke again.


    "Stop adjusting the already neat bedsheet and tell me what it is."


    I didn''t like his firm tone. It held the authority that he knew I was pretending but then, I smacked myself mentally. Of course, he knew. Who else would if not he?


    "I have no issues with her. I am not sure why you think that I do."


    He moved a step backward and my heart sank. "The fact that you don''t make a clear communication is what weakens our relationship, Innaya. I am not sure if you realize how much it hurts... but know that it hurts as bad as several knives slashing through your skin simultaneously."


    He was hinting at our past. It made me tremble and he watched me. I knew he did because he immediately came forward to hold me but his hands stayed in the air. They didn''t reach mine and it... hurt.


    "You have to trust your people and know that when they hide something from you, it''s only your betterment that is there in their minds while doing that," I said and almost regretted speaking that because my voice cracked giving away, that I was breaking.


    "One gets to decide alone what is better for their partner and take the decision also? A relationship includes two people. No one person gets to decide anything and when I say anything, I mean ''anything''."


    He was making me cry and I couldn''t admit that.


    I moved to the cupboard and pulled out my dresses. Throwing them on the bed, I scattered them and edged the closet and began setting them right. I did not know what to do. I needed something to distract me. I needed something to help me get out of this situation without arguing more with him.


    Our arguments never end well these days. One way or another we would hurt each other. But, I could not do anything. I was helpless.


    "Sometimes, in life, you are helpless. You don''t have control over situations. Sometimes, in life, you have to do what you don''t want to do but you still have to... because... because..." I could not complete it. He was not supposed to know, and I would not drag him into this mess. He had nothing to do with it. I would not let anything harm him.


    If hiding truth meant his well being, then be it. If I had to suffer because of it, then I would. It was not like, I had never suffered before. I had, and I was used to it. He was not. The man like Eshan never deserved to be subjected to unjustness. He never deserved to suffer because of someone else.


    "Because, what, Innaya? Because of what?"


    It happened almost in a blink of an eye, that he left his place, came closer to me, slipped his right hand around my back and held me closer.


    "Because of what, Innaya? Because of what? It has been a month since I am trying to know because of what?"


    My downcast eyes we''re fixated at his feet. He slipped his finger underneath my chin. "Do I not have a right to know? Do you not think I deserve to know?"


    Damn it.


    His eyes filled with agony met with my teary ones.


    I couldn''t keep looking into them because it was so painful, so heart-wrenching to live every day with the pain of hurting him.


    My head fell forward momentarily before I let my arms fall from his shoulders. "Hug me, please."


    ***

 Chapter 190 - Hug me, please (2)

    | Eshan |


    "Hug me, please."


    Something sharply twisted in my heart at her desperate plea. And that was when I realized how close I was to her. I wasn''t supposed to be that close to her as per her own once uttered words but I had no heart of leaving her at that moment when she looked on the verge of breaking down.


    How could I do that to her? How could I do that to my Innaya?


    She was still my Innaya. Irrespective of what had happened, what had gone wrong, she was still... still my Innaya.


    I loosened my hold around her back, held her hands and put them around my neck while I brought her close enough where I could feel her heartbeat and I knew, she could hear mine.


    Her body was still trembling and I could not decipher what had triggered it this time. A part of me constantly went towards Ayesha but I just saw no reason how she would trigger Innaya.


    Ayesha was a sweet and simple girl. Too sweet to hurt Innaya in any way.


    "For how long? For how long are you going to keep it away from me, Innaya?" I gently stroked her hair, as I pushed her more which I had stopped doing since the time she got a panic attack because of that last.


    I hadn''t probed her to get any information from that episode of hers.


    That didn''t mean it didn''t affect me. It was not just affecting me but our relationship. We were no longer what we used to be. Innaya was no longer was she used to be, so was not I.


    I could not help but get deeply saddened.


    "Don''t talk about it, please. Just hold me. Just hold me closer to you, Eshan."


    Despite all the differences we had, my lips broke into a smile and I hid her in my arms.


    After so long, she was this close to me. After so damn long.


    I had missed her.


    I had missed comforting her.


    I had missed holding her.


    I had missed stroking her hair.


    I had missed smelling her hair.


    I had missed everything about us.


    It felt so good to have it all back even if it was temporary.


    It felt so good to catch up with the hugs we missed.


    Gosh. I absolutely loved this woman and I knew she loved me more than she had ever loved anyone.


    And yet we weren''t there where we should be.


    Having her still shaking, I decided to let it be like I have been for the past one month. I did not know when she was going to put faith in me and tell me the truth.


    The truth that she had been hiding for so long.


    The truth why she had accepted to be at fault when she had done nothing.


    The truth why she had asked me not to touch her.


    The truth why she had grown distant from me.


    It was killing me day by day.


    Watching her pale figure, knowing that she missed my warmth and me holding her had been some of the toughest things that I ever had to do in life.


    I didn''t know what it was that was holding her back from opening up to me.


    But whatever that it was, it had been poking in our relationship and if I didn''t stop it on time, it will end up causing a huge hole in our relationship... the hole that nothing would be able to fill up.


    All of a sudden, I felt my T-shirt getting wet. Damn it. She was crying.


    I thought a lot about confronting her but knowing she would cry more if I did that, I just let her cry as much as she wanted.


    For a fact, I knew that she had been suffering more than I had been. Far more than that.


    "Why did you leave?"


    I heard her mumble while sobbing. When did I leave? I was confused about what she was asking.


    "Had you not left... they wouldn''t have..."


    "Innaya?" I tried pulling myself apart only to see that she had fallen asleep and was talking in sleep.


    I let out a sigh and picked her up. After placing her on the bed, I sat beside her, covering her with the comforter.


    "Why did you leave?"


    She was still mumbling. The same line.


    "I am here, Innaya. I am never leaving you."


    I brought her hand closer to my heart. What had happened a month ago? I had tried finding out a lot but nothing... I could get nothing that could lead me to why it had happened what had happened.


    "I... love you."


    She shifted on her place, swiftly grabbing my hand.


    "I love you too, Innaya. I love you too." Bending forward, I dropped a quick kiss on her forehead.


    "Eshan."


    I stole a last glance at Innaya before I went out, hearing Ayesha''s call.


    "Yes, Ayesha?" I closed the door behind me as I moved forward to attend


    Ayesha who was standing just in front of our room. "Do you need anything?"


    "No. Is everything okay? I mean, Innaya left the breakfast and then you too," Ayesha was voicing out what she found weird and I felt trapped. What was I supposed to tell her?


    "Is everything not well between you and Innaya?"


    She put forward another question when I was still struggling to answer the previous one that she had asked.


    "No.. I mean there is no problem. I don''t know what gave you that idea." I tried shrugging it away but she didn''t look convinced.


    "Have you settled down in your room?" The changing topic seemed the best that I could do at that time.


    "Oh, yes. The room is lovely. Thank you, Eshan. I will leave as soon as I find a hotel."


    With that, she hugged me. My eyes went back to look at the locked door behind which Innaya was sleeping.


    "Um... it''s no problem. You can stay here for as long as you want." I removed her hands from my neck before I excused myself from there.


    ***

 Chapter 191 - Flashback

    | Innaya |


    When I woke up, I felt my head heavy. Looking around, I tried to recall how I ended up on the bed. Just a couple of moments... it took me just a couple of moments, and everything flashed before my eyes like a movie.


    ''Hug me, please.''


    I closed my eyes, clenching my fist.


    Having him so close, after so long, felt so good. I wish we could just stay like that, forever, with him in my arms, and I, in his.


    For a day, just for a day, I wanted to forget everything that was holding me back from reaching out to Eshan and let him know how awfully and desperately I had missed him.


    I could not help the sudden wave of guilt that hit me hard.


    I had pushed him away from me, and I was getting upset when he was being distant.


    My mind traveled back to the time where we were just so content and peaceful together. That time, the hint of what was coming was far away.


    ***


    (Flashback)


    ***


    Gosh. I loved Eshan. I loved him so much. I could not believe my eyes when I gazed at the beautiful purple gazebo at the beach. The evening moonlight made it look absolutely ethereal. He was with me all the time. I did not even know when and how he planned it out and executed it that well.


    I was in awe of the entire mood.


    I turned to him as I gripped his wrist in excitement. "This is so pretty. When did you do this?"


    "Magic." Eshan winked at me and I laughed.


    I left his hand and walked further, exploring the surrounding. I would not lie; I was as excited as a kid. I did not know why though.


    Do you have those some days where you are just happy for no apparent reasons? When you forget all your worries, all your problems and just feel merry at heart? I was having that day and Eshan''s surprise dinner date just added on to my bright mood.


    I rushed back to hug him. "Thank you so much," I whispered, smiling against his skin.


    "I love you, Tesoro," he mumbled and I loved it even more. He had confessed his love to me earlier as well but... but I was admiring everything like I never did that day.


    He walked me to the table. Being in his arms made me feel special, like a princess. He was my prince charming, indeed. He was my prince and he treated me like his precious princess.


    I could not resist leaving a small peck on his cheek before we sat down. Again, he had arranged my favorite food which I was no longer surprised about. That was just Eshan. He was awesome, a little too perfect for this awfully imperfect me.


    After we had our dinner, he went on to his knees and held his hand out. I readily stood up and gave my hand in his. He smiled, standing up.


    He sn.a.k.e.d his hands around my waist from back, pulling me swiftly towards him. I gasped with his sudden pull and our proximity. Regardless of how long we spent with each other, it seemed like I was always going to be left a bit taken aback with our closeness. That was just the kind of effect he had on me.


    "Eshan," calling his name, my lips curled in a beautiful smile. He might not be a very romantic person to say cheesy lines to me every day like most of the men would do for their better halves, but he surely knew how to show his love to his love, his wife... his Innaya.


    Sweet laughter escaped from my lips as his fingers brushed across my waist. "Stop it, Eshan." Pushing his hands off me, I stepped away from him. Turning towards him, I darted a fake glare at him, making my fake anger and annoyance pretty much visible to him.


    But the next minute, my non-existent anger vanished off like water in a desert when I witnessed the cutest sight I could ever see... he mumbling a sorry, holding his both ears with his hands. I just lost my heart to him, again, the moment I stared in his eyes. Looking at him, I got lost into my own world. My eyes locked with his. Standing there, I could not look away. As I folded my arms to my chest, I sat back in the chair, admiring my unrealistically good looking husband.


    How handsome!


    "Checking me out?"


    I was snapped out of my imaginary heavenly world with his statement, which immediately made me stretch my brows, bringing a small frown on my face.


    ***


    (Flashback ends)


    ***


    I smiled through tears, recalling that evening. How beautiful things were. I could only sigh sadly, crying my heart out for the distance between us.


    I stumbled out of our bed, which had turned to mine only from the last three weeks. We did not share the bed. I forgot how Eshan''s warmth feels beside my bed. I forgot how he held me. I forgot how good sleep I had only when Eshan would accompany me.


    Alas! Because of my decisions, I myself pushed away from the one responsible for providing comfort to my wounded soul. It was my decision, so how could I blame him for the same. I could not.


    I could only bear the brunt of my actions. No matter how much I longed for the safety of his protective embrace, I could not ask for it. Earlier my defenses had weakened. I ended up asking for the thing which I should not have. I needed to hold my bearings, and avoid losing control over my emotions.


    I did not want to fall victim to my unstable emotions.


    ''Sigh.''


    A knock sounded on the door. I did not know how long I slept. I looked at the clock by the bedside first before wondering who was at the door. It was only more than an hour that I had closed my eyes for a brief nap. I bit my lip as I looked at the disheveled appearance of the woman in the mirror.


    I did not recognize her. Her eyes were sad, swollen, and red. She looked so alone that


    I had an urge to run away even from her shadows. I did not want to end up like her. In reality, the reflection in the mirror represented my reality. It was me. I had ended up alone despite being with the man who loved me more than anything in this whole world.


    The sound of the knock came again. Who was being so impatient? I pulled my bleak eyes away from my reflection; I could not bear to look at anymore. One part of me did not want to leave the safety of my bedroom. Then again, the person waiting outside could not be ignored.


    It must be Ayesha.


    Eshan would never knock on the door, would he? Have we grown that distant, that he needed to knock on the door? I shrugged my thoughts. No. It could not be that case.


    But, could I really face her with this appearance of mine? Absolutely, no. If my guess was right, she was here for my husband. If I went out like this, then it would give her the opportunity to have more ideas that Eshan and I were in a loveless marriage.


    We loved each other. Though we were having problems, it did not mean that anyone could meddle in our relationship. I decided to tell her that I would freshen up before meeting her. I walked to the door, ready to have her leave. My hand on the knob trembled when I heard Eshan''s voice from the outside. What was he doing outside?


    "What is it, Ayu?"


    Ayu? Since when he shifted to such intimate addressing? My heart felt a pang of jealousy. He never called me Innu. He always used his endearments. They were sweet, fluttering and expressing his love. However, why did listening to him addressing her so intimately was causing me to feel this emotion? I did not want to feel that. I did not want to be a woman who was jealous of the slightest interaction between her husband and other women.


    She was not any other woman. She was the person who had the capability of intruding in our relationship.


    I stopped near the door. I did not mean to eavesdrop on their conversation. I just could not face Eshan after how I had behaved.


    "Oh, nothing, Shan. I just wanted to chat with Innaya a bit."


    "I told you she''s sleeping. Don''t disturb her. Tell me, if you need anything. Otherwise, you also rest for a bit."


    "Great then, let''s catch up on our past. I am not tired anymore."

 Chapter 192 - He dropped the bomb out of nowhere

    |Innaya|


    I have never seen anyone so energetic after traveling. Her voice did not appear tired anymore. On the other hand, her enthusiasm was oddly perplexing. Did she not travel at all?


    After what had happened a month ago, I could not feel but be suspicious of anyone and everyone around me. I had no control over my emotions. They ran wild, making me go crazy as well.


    "I have some work, Ayu. You''re anyway here for long. We can catch up later. Rest for a while, and don''t disturb Innaya. We slept late last night, and she had to wake up early. Let her have some rest. I''ll see you at lunch."


    I did not miss how Eshan covered up for me, giving a vague explanation.


    "Oh!" I heard her sigh. It sounded as if she was feeling discouraged. "Okay. You go ahead with your work, I''ll return to my room." There. Her cheerful voice was back again. She sure knew how to control her emotions and behave accordingly.


    Her light footsteps faded away as she left. It was a good thing that I gave her the guest room on the ground floor beside the living room.


    If she had asked for another room, closer to our bedroom, then I did not know how to handle her suspicions. Eshan was sleeping in the other room beside his study. Even his clothes were shifted in that room.


    This way, we had a little more privacy. She could not stumble on our living arrangement. I needed to think a way of asking Eshan to shift back to our bedroom until his friend was with us.


    I pulled back my hand from the knob. There was no use of going out, she had left. Eshan would have left as well. I needed to take a shower. I had to prepare lunch for us. Before her, we had to put a good show of things being good between us. Meanwhile, I had to search for a way of making things right between us. I could not let our relationship suffer more. We both were hurting, but I had no other way.


    At least for now, all I hoped was for his friend to leave soon, and not make things difficult for us.


    I opened the wardrobe to take clothes. I picked up the long floral dress in red color. It was again, Eshan''s gift.


    *


    "You look good in our Indian clothes, but sweetheart they are quite troubling to handle. So, I have brought these clothes for you. And, you don''t need to change your clothing style just because now you are a married woman. Weren''t you wearing long skirts, dresses, gowns before our wedding? Then, why now you want to shift to something else? Don''t change. I love you the way you''re.


    *


    His words were still fresh in my mind. The clothes he had brought filled two wardrobes. I did not realize the evening we had spent window-shopping on online sites while lazing in our bedroom would bring me such surprise. I was truly touched to the point of being speechless.


    I had just thrown myself in his arms. I had my old clothes in my maternal place. Though I did not feel the dire need of them, the thoughtfulness of Eshan was remarkable.


    I caressed the fabric under my fingers. My heart trembled as I was reminded of the goodness of my husband.


    What I had given him in response?


    Hurt?


    Pain?


    Stress?


    The man has been giving his all to our relationship all along. He never expected anything from me. He never demanded anything. All along, he had been the most patient husband to me.


    My fate was very cruel. It would never let me have a moment of peace. One way or another, I would never have happiness residing for longer in my life.


    I could not blame anyone. I was not strong enough to fight the negativity looming around me. How I wished Arjun was here. Things I could not share with Eshan, Arjun would be able to know.


    I had been told how he found me when I was kidnapped. I knew the man had his connections. He was the one who could help me get out of the mess.


    The sound of door unlocking had me putting my thoughts to rest. I knew who it was. How could I not know the presence of the man who was the reason for my happiness?


    I inhaled slowly, gaining control over my emotions. I did not want us to quarrel or have an argument again. I would try and keep the differences of our past month aside. At least till the time, his ''ayu'' was here. I felt a bitter test rising in my mouth as I thought about that woman. Her extra sweet smile in front of Eshan was making me nauseated.


    ''Don''t Innaya. Don''t think about her. Don''t let her ruin your relationship more.'' I decided to ignore her. If worst comes to worst, I would be blunt and tell Eshan about me being uncomfortable with his friend.


    He would be disappointed for a while, but that would save him from her. In truth that would save me from losing him.


    Wiping my face again, I turned around stretching my lips in a smile.


    Eshan did not even glance in my way. He just wheeled his suitcase.


    "I will temporarily shift here. I don''t want outsiders to know about our differences. I will take the couch," he said as he put the suitcase in the corner of the room.


    I wanted to deny him, saying he did not need to. But I did not dare. I would take the couch silently in the night. He would have no other choice then. He would have to take the bed without any other option. It was a good thing that he shifted back to our room on his own. His consideration of all things made me feel guilty. I know he could solve my problems as well, but it would bring him a lot of grief, which I did not want.


    I would rather have him hate me than hating his ¨C No, I would not think about it. I would find a way to solve the issue on my own without dragging him into this mess.


    Eshan finally raised his brown orbs looking at me. My heart skipped a beat witnessing his struggle and sorrow. "Mom called me today, she''s going to come here to visit and stay with us tomorrow." He dropped the bomb out of nowhere.


    The clothes in my hands almost fell out of my grasp after listening to him.


    His mother was going to visit us?


    My face lost the entire color. I wet my dry lips.


    It could not be a coincidence.


    It could definitely not be a coincidence.

 Chapter 193 - Ill leave if Im not welcomed here

    |Innaya|


    "Don''t let Mom find anything suspicious."


    I was pulled back to the present with Eshan''s warning. I hastily nodded and retreated to the bathroom. The news was too sudden, and I did not know how to react. Standing in my dazed state before his eyes, was not at all a good option.


    Inside the bathroom, I took some time to calm myself down. I did not have much impression of Eshan''s mother. At the time of our marriage, everything had happened too quickly. I did not get any chance to know his family members.


    I did not know how the upcoming days were going to turn out. If I had Eshan supporting me, I would not be so worried. Though Eshan would not abandon me, things were not the same anymore as they were in the past. Time and again, I was hurting him because of my insecurities, past, and matters which I could not share with him.


    It was a wonder that he had not gotten frustrated with me and left me at my maternal place. I could see his patience was wearing off.


    Removing my clothes, I walked to the shower cubicle. I turned on the shower as I stood under the water. My thoughts ran in all the direction that I started feeling a little hazy with my mind being so clouded. I closed my eyes tightly and focussed on the water. I had initially not realized, but the water was cold. I had forgotten about adjusting the temperature.


    My teeth started chattering as the water was colder than normal. Abruptly I stepped out of the reach of the shower. For a while, I watched the water droplets falling freely as if they were feeling liberated. As if they knew it was the only moment they could have their existence before getting mixed again.


    How could I envy them? They were fighting for even a moment of freedom, while I failed to gather my fighting spirit against the evil forces trying to drive the wedge between Eshan and me.


    Shaking my head full of wet hair with water dripping from my locks that stuck to my body, I once again stepped under the shower. This time knowing well that I would surely fall sick if I continued the madness. I did not know what came over me but listening to Eshan and Ayesha''s conversation, their playful and lively interaction in the living room something was breaking within me.


    I could not describe the feeling. It was sickening. As if thousands of worm were crawling on my body, making me feel disgusting.


    ***


    "Don''t get too involved with him. You are not worthy of him."


    "Sooner or later, you''ll have to leave him. You don''t deserve him."


    "Start packing your bags and leave him."


    ***


    "Achoo!"


    "Achoo! Achoo!"


    A couple of times I sneezed continuously. That had me turn off the shower, and those voices also died down. I shivered when the coldness was being more apparent. I sneezed more. Wiping myself dry with the help of a towel, quickly putting on the clothes, wrapping my wet hair in the towel, I arrived before the mirror.


    I looked slightly better than before. With no more dried tears and a pale face, I did not look that lost. My nose had turned red. I knew I would soon catch a cold if I stayed like that.


    I never liked to blow dry my hair. Hence, I left the bathroom intending to sit in the balcony for a while. I would dry my hair in natural sunlight.


    The bandage on my finger was to be applied again. Being soaked in the water, the skin around it had sagged. I needed to clean it as well with disinfectant.


    Eshan was arranging his clothes in the wardrobe. I wondered what was taking him so long. There weren''t many clothes. He had not shifted his entire wardrobe.


    He did not even turn when he heard the sound. His eyes did not avert. He kept continuing his work as if there was no one in the room but him only.


    My feet stayed rooted in watching his side profile. In the past when I had slightest of cut, he had made so much fuss. He had taken me to the doctor for that tetanus shot even after my refusal.


    This time... How many things changed with time!


    There was again a knocking sound at the door. I glanced at Eshan. It was no secret. It had to be Ayesha because Fortune would not knock on the door.


    Why could she not stay still and remain in her room? Why she had to keep coming back even after being told off?


    While I was lost in cursing her, Eshan had shoved the entire suitcase in the lower cabinet and was walking toward the door.


    He opened the door with a slight smile on his face. I freed my hair from the towel and adjusted them on my left shoulder patting them dry with the towel. I also accompanied Eshan. I wanted to know what was she here for.


    Coming to stand beside Eshan, I gave her a slight smile, stretching my lips unwillingly.


    "Shan¡ª"


    Her enthusiastic greeting died down once she spotted me. I could see she was expecting me to be still in the bed so that she could have some alone time with my husband. I enjoyed seeing her falling expressions which she recovered sooner than expected. She would make a great actress.


    "Hey, Innaya. Sorry to disturb you." She smiled, looking at me for a fleeting moment before her eyes darted back at Eshan and to the inside of our bedroom.


    "No problem." I faked a smile as well. My insides were screaming to tell her that she was the problem. I kept my thoughts and emotions in check before I shuffled closer to Eshan. "Do you need anything?" I inquired as to if I did not know about their early encounter outside of this very closed door.


    I wondered what emergency was there that she could not even stay still for around an hour in her room. Was she that desperate?


    She ignored my words as she stared at Eshan. Tears gathered in her eyes as if they were ready at her beck and call. Her lower lip jutted out as if she would start crying out the next moment. And, she actually did.


    "Hey, didn''t you say, you have some work? Are you lying to me? Am I disturbing you guys? I''ll leave if I''m not welcomed here," she said in a crying tone as she looked at Eshan with those watery eyes.


    Damn. She was too good. Was she being serious? She surely did not look like she was that sensitive.


    "Hey, Ayu. Don''t cry." Eshan helplessly shook his head as he looked in my direction for the help.


    I sighed internally. I felt a little bad for the girl standing before my eyes. She might not be faking it. I needed to observe her for a bit before judging her. She might not be that bad. It could be only her broken heart, and she would get over soon.


    I stepped forward and patted her shoulder. "It''s nothing like that Ayesha. I was not feeling well... Achoo."


    I turned around, and sneezed covering my face with the towel.


    "Achoo... Achoo..." My sneezing continued. I moved away keeping my distance from them.


    Once my sneezing stopped. I looked a little apologetically at both of them. "See, I have caught a cold. That''s why I couldn''t keep you company." I found a perfect opportunity to make an excuse for my lack of hospitality toward her.

 Chapter 194 - Eshan liked floral prints from the childhood...

    |Innaya|


    "It has nothing to do with you, Innaya. Honestly, we are nothing more than strangers. It''s him," she pointed her finger to Eshan before she added, "I am miffed with. He''s been avoiding me." Ayesha wiped her face as she glared Eshan.


    Her words could not be any truer. We were nothing more than strangers. What bothered me was her statement being ignored by Eshan. When did that happen? Why did I not know about it?


    They were so enjoying each other''s company reminiscing about their childhood to the point where Eshan forgot about me. Then how could she blame him like that?


    "You''re right regarding us." I pointed first to her and then to myself. "But, Eshan did not ignore you. He would never do that to you. After all, you''re childhood friends. And, I know how much he values his relationsh.i.p.s. I know how much his friends mean to him," I said calmly.


    If she was seriously hurt, then I do not want her to blame Eshan a bit. He was already stressed because of me. If this girl ended up increasing his stress, then how was I going to handle it? Eshan would not let me comfort him. Whatever I said was the truth. He valued his friends a lot.


    Eshan''s head snapped in my direction. Our eyes met briefly I could see the surprise in his brown orbs. I blinked my eyes, assuring him that I would not let his friend have any misconceptions.


    My eyes darted to those fingers which were tugging at Eshan''s sleeves. Ayesha sheepishly smiled, tilting her head to the side. "I''m sorry. I didn''t mean to say all that. You''re behaving little weirdly. So..." She trailed off, giving him an innocent smile.


    It truly looked as if she was saying the truth. The smallest indifference of Eshan was hurting her.


    "Achoo!" I covered my nose. "Excuse me! I need to dry my hair. You guys continue." I left them standing there, unable to watch the soft look in Eshan''s eyes.


    As I stepped out of the balcony, I felt slightly better. Closing my eyes, for a while I stood in the warm sunlight. The sun was not harsh yet. It was the winter, the warm rays were almost relieving. A gentle nudge against my right leg had me open my eyes, looking down at the reason.


    My mood brightened at the sight of Fortune. In these days of despair, he as the only support I have had. He silently stayed beside me, even to the point of ignoring Eshan.


    We made a lot of progress. Starting with only petting him, touching him, I could now let him rest on my lap, being absolutely worry-free to have him around. It was as if my cynophobia never made an appearance in my life.


    Things were that good with him. He would sense my mood, and comfort me with his adorable presence. He once pushed Eshan away when we were arguing. As if he could understand that we were not on good terms of discussion.


    "Sweet boy! Do you wanna play? Hmm?" I asked him as I rubbed his cheek. He brought his that long tongue out. It looked as if he was smiling in approval. He wanted to play.


    Daily at this time, Eshan would leave for his office. That left me at home with Fortune. So, this was time to relieve my stress and his boredom.


    From the corner of my eyes, I peeked inside the room to know more about what they were doing. I should not have done so because I found Ayesha hugging Eshan sideways.


    Eshan said something to her, and she giggled nodding her head. Fortune licked my palm as he tried to catch my attention. Moving my gaze from two people who looked like a couple to my worried heart, I focussed on Fortune.


    Smiling slightly, I sat on the chair facing my back to the sun. My whole purpose was to dry my hair. I should not be worried about unnecessary stuff, should I?


    Seemed like I could not have a peaceful time because I found Ayesha coming out.


    ''Now, what else she wants?'' I frowned.


    She smiled too sweetly for my liking. "Thanks to you, Eshan and I, sorted out our little misunderstanding. You see, these small matters, if not solved timely, can create a large difference. Thankfully, Eshan and I would not have them in-between us."


    Was that a taunt? Why did it feel like she was jabbing at me with her insults? She would not have realized that we have differences, has she? I was overthinking again.


    "Good." I nodded. I had no intention of engaging in any kind of conversation with her. If I do not like someone, why would I force myself to like the person?


    "I won''t be going to the office today," Eshan said as he entered behind Ayesha. The wide balcony suddenly felt cramped up with both of their arrival.


    My back straightened up. In the past month, Eshan went to his office even on weekends. If for some reason he stayed in, he would lock himself in his study. I could count on my fingers for how many times I saw him for more than ten or fifteen minutes.


    My eyes watered with the emotions. Eshan seemed to have noticed it, but he stayed silent.


    Ayesha giggled glancing at him. "You look pretty. It must be Eshan''s choice, right? He used to insist on my Mom to make me wear a floral print frock."


    I felt the need to change into something else. The sweet gesture did not stay special anymore. Though it was a childhood memory between them, for Eshan to have the same preferences even after so many years, it felt weird.


    "Did I not tell you, Mom would dress me up as a girl?" Eshan walked toward me. He had a towel in his hands, I just did not know when he picked it up. I wondered what he wanted to do with it.


    I nodded in response to his question. I knew he had told me while telling me about the story behind his nickname, ''Eshu''. Technically, Arjun was the one to reveal the secret.


    He walked past my chair and stood behind me. I understand his purpose when I felt his hands in my hair. "How many times do I tell you to not leave your hair wet? You catch a cold very fast," Eshan gently reprimanded me.


    My heart went in one of those swooning moods over my husband''s caring nature. He just knew how to send my heart in overdrive despite what was the equation between us.


    Without giving me any chance to react, he started drying my hair with the towel. "So, I did not like it. Secretly I used to give away those dresses to the families of girls I knew. It saved me the trouble of being dressed up as a girl. Mom liked bright colors with cute cartoon characters. I used to advise people to buy floral designs because for some reasons Mom never bought those kinds of dresses for me."

 Chapter 195 - Is your marriage on the rocks?

    |Innaya|


    I never begrudged anyone, for I knew envy brought nothing but pain and sadness. In addition to this, I had nothing precious that someone could envy me.


    However, I caught the n.a.k.e.d envy in Ayesha''s eyes. It startled me. Why would she resent me? I was quite an unfortunate one if we compared our lives. She didn''t have the childhood I once had. She did not have PTSD. Then why would she envy me? From whatever I heard from her chatter with Eshan, she led a happy life.


    The moment I caught her eyes darting to the man behind me, I realized the reason for it. Eshan''s open display of love was the reason for her distress. The emotion of envy immediately changed to the one of adoration when I caught her eyes. It changed so fast as if it never was there.


    "Oh! I see... For a moment I thought you''re fond of floral print from your childhood." I laughed out. Ayesha''s envy was the reason for my lifted mood.


    Eshan''s hand rubbing my hair paused temporarily before resuming the work. "Nope, I more fond of anything you wear."


    I almost choked when he passed that remark. Ayesha''s eyes gleamed with coldness. I blushed immediately under his flowery words.


    A low whining sound coming from my lap had me look down. Fortune put his head in my lap feeling bored with zero attention. I smiled looking at his adorableness, keeping my head down to hide my blushing face.


    "Oh! You have got a dog. That''s new. He''s so adorable" Ayesha suddenly exclaimed.


    She crouched down on her knees wishing to pet Fortune, but as if Fortune did not like her as well for he suddenly made a low growling sound.


    ''What? Are you blind? How could you not notice such a big animal? Or you also want some attention?'' I wanted to snap at her but then I held back my tongue biting on my lower lip.


    Petting Fortune''s head, I wondered why he never had such kind of reaction toward me.


    "Don''t mind, Ayesha. Fortune is just not used to have other people around." I made an excuse on the spot. Fortune was a therapy dog, so of course, he would not growl on anyone. But, he was growling at her, there had to be some reason. Didn''t they say, animals are more attentive towards people with malicious intent?


    "It''s okay. He''ll get used to me." She smiled, looking at Fortune with her downcast eyes. I failed to see the expression in her eyes, but I had a gut feeling that it was not any good. "By the way, aunty permitted you to bring him? I remember Aunty did not like animals," she asked Eshan.


    I tilted my head to look at Eshan questionably. Her sentence made me curious. Only he could explain more. After Ayesha''s arrival more things about my mother-in-law were getting revealed. I did not know if it was accidental or she was doing it deliberately. What was she trying to prove? That she knows my husband better than me?


    ''Yeah, dream on. You might know him for a couple of years in childhood, but the man you want to pursue trailed me for a decade. That''s absolutely longer than whatever adolescent fantasies you have woven for years.'' I suddenly wanted to take pride in Eshan''s one-sided love for so many years.


    Watching the handsome face of my husband glowing under the sunlight made my heart flutter. I almost forgot to blink while staring at him until he raised his left eyebrow slightly. I smiled timidly before shaking my head in negative.


    "Mom just doesn''t like dogs and cats," Eshan replied, uninterested in explaining more.


    "Hmm."


    "Achoo!" I sneezed again. Seemed like I caught a cold.


    "How come you are sneezing so much? Did you stand outside in the night?" Eshan frowned as his hands stopped drying my hair.


    "Haha... Eshan, how could you not know if she stood out or not? Were you sleeping like a log? Or you aren''t sleeping together? Is your marriage on the rocks?"


    Eshan and I both froze at her words. She was making a joke out of it, but why did it sound like she was testing us.


    "Oh, I''m sorry. I was just joking. Did I say something-"


    "It''s not funny." Eshan snapped.


    "It''s okay Eshan." I held his hand to stop him from saying anything as I recovered from my shock.


    "Ayesha, there are some things which should not be said so lightly or made fun of. It''s a bad omen for a couple because your words sound like we''re quarreling or fighting. You must not wish for something like this even in a joke," I calmly spoke as I held her gaze. The anger brewing inside my chest was something I did not want to control. However, I could not be so blunt like her.


    Of course, Eshan and I had our difference. However, there was no place for any outsider to comment on it. I certainly disliked her more and more.


    The moment she entered, she questioned our relationship. She claimed we looked like an arranged marriage couple, ultimately saying she could not see the love between us. In the kitchen, she directly said that there was no love between us. If that was not enough, she was now wishing I''ll for us.


    Seriously, was she some sort of psychotic lover? I was getting fed up with her nonsense. I disliked her more and more. I did not know what were Eshan''s thoughts about her nonsense, but I did not like it even a bit. I could feel the anger radiating from him while his hands were fisted by his side.


    "I''m sorry, Eshan. I did not mean it that way. I was just joking." Tears immediately sprang in her eyes as if they were already ready. She did not even apologize to me but instead chose to divert her attention to Eshan.

 Chapter 196 - His eyes gleamed with a ferociousness that I had never seen.

    |Innaya|


    "Ayesha."


    Gone was the nickname as Eshan called out her name warningly. His eyes gleamed with a ferociousness that I had never seen.


    "I won''t repeat this ever again. Respect my life. We were childhood friends. It''s been ages we have had any form of contact. For the sake of our childhood friendship, and memories, I can overlook anything, but not this. If you ever try this again, remember our friendship ends there. Now, please leave us alone for a while." Eshan almost scolded her in one of those businesslike tones.


    I did not expect such kind of outburst truthfully. I thought at most he would reprimand her for her words. Here, he was talking about ending their years of friendship. His blunt words took me by surprise.


    "Shan¡ª" Ayesha called out in a choked voice.


    "Leave." He did not even spare her a glance as he turned his back to her. I could see his palms fisting the balcony''s railings under them forcefully.


    Ayesha refused to obey. She held my hand, but her eyes stayed locked at Eshan. "Innaya, please. Make him understand. I didn''t mean it that way."


    How ironic! Firstly she did not want to apologize to me. Now, when Eshan talked that way to her, she came to me asking for help. She must be crazy if she thought it would work.


    Actually, her words pointed to the current situation if our relationship. Her words were poisonous but they were not entirely wrong. Thus they earned extreme reactions from Eshan.


    However, I knew at this point saying anything would be to like hitting my own leg with my own ax. I was not that stupid to side with the person I did not like. Honestly, I did not want to interfere even a bit. She deserved it.


    ''Who told you to poke your nose in someone else''s business? Serves you right.''


    "Ayesha, please leave for now. Don''t bring this up again," I said as I removed her hands. Her hold was painful as her long, sharp nails dug slightly in my skin.


    She almost ran out of the room while crying. I sighed at the event that unfolded within a couple of minutes.


    I turned my head to the man who was angry at altogether different levels. Though his anger was not directed towards me, I still felt uneasy.


    "Eshan," I called out softly as I placed my hand on his shoulder. I did not know if it was to comfort him or myself. Ayesha''s words were a harsh reminder of our present relationship.


    I did not know what should I say to him.


    Eshan shrugged my hand from his shoulder before he started to leave.


    "Ahh..." I bit my lower lip to stifle the painful hiss from leaving my mouth.


    Eshan stopped in his tracks, perhaps despite my attempt to hide my pain, he heard me. He turned on his feet as his eyes roamed all over me. I met his inquisitive eyes, secretly curling my injured finger by my side.


    His ring had scr.a.p.ed open the wound which I had forgot to bandage. The cut from the knife was a deep one, but I had forgotten about him when I saw their interaction.


    Right now, Eshan did not mean to do it, it happened accidentally.


    "What''s wrong?" He asked while frowning.


    "Nothing... Uh, I was just startled." I lied. Eshan''s expressions turned bitter.


    Did he not believe me?


    "Great. Just great. Apart from hiding things from me, now you started lying as well. I wonder now how many new changes I''ll get to see in the future. Perhaps, I should start getting used to it." He shook his head as he stared disappointedly at me.


    His words stung. I was not lying for my comfort. I did not hide things for my comfort. I did not want him to feel bad. If he knew, he hurt me even though it was not intentional he was going to blame himself. How could I bear it? How could I watch him feel guilty? His words were too cruel.


    "Eshan..." I looked at him pleadingly. He was referring to distance between us. He was pointing out the fact that I hid things from him. I did not do it willingly. Why would I want to hurt the man whom I loved more than anyone... even more than myself. Why would I hurt him?


    "What else did Karan ask you to not share? Does he want to break our relationship that way? Does he think he can get you that way? Huh? I truly want to know where I went wrong. Huh? Tell me. Please enlighten me on my mistakes. I would remember to never commit them in the future," Eshan suddenly burst out. He did not raise his voice, maybe considering Ayesha''s presence.


    However, that did not mean the intensity was any less. He did not need to raise his voice to intensify my guilt.


    A harsh reminder of what had happened a month ago was etched in my memory, bringing tears in my eyes.


    I pressed my lips tightly to not break down crying. I did not want Eshan to find out what had happened a month ago. I lowered my head, refusing to look at him anymore. I pressed on that cut on the index finger of my left hand, hoping that pain would distract me from those memories.


    I did not want to recall what had happened that day. It was the day that ruined my dreams of a happy future. I did not care if I was hurting myself physically. My emotional turmoil was much heavier. I could barely breathe. If hurting myself was going to distract me from my emotinal turmoil then be it.


    "Have you lost it?" Eshan''s loud shout brought me back to the present. I found him standing before me, trying to loosen my fingers from digging into the wound which had started bleeding again. I actually did not feel anything; there was a weird kind of satisfaction when I saw the bright red blood dripping on the pristine marble flooring.


    It was only for a moment, but that had me shake my head out of that sadistic thought process. I could not take happiness in such kind of acts.


    I could not.


    **

 Chapter 197 - How Things Fell Apart (Flashback 1)

    |Innaya|


    My shoulders were shaken, and I realized though I had stopped thinking, my gaze was fixed on the cut. I raised my head when I heard Eshan''s frantic calls. "Are you listening to me? Innaya? Damn it! Innaya, look at me."


    "Oh! I''m fine. I''ll just clean this," I muttered before wriggling out of his grasp. The pain in my heart was getting unbearable. I could hardly handle myself. My legs were shaking and I really wanted to sit somewhere before my sorry figure collapsed.


    "I''ll clean. I''ll clean. You just calm down. Sit here, I''ll be back right away." Eshan''s whole demeanor had changed. Gone was the anger, and only concern remained in his eyes as he repeatedly tried to hold my injured hand.


    "No need, Eshan. You might not be done with what you want to say. Don''t mind me, do continue. I accept it''s my fault. It''s my fault. I deserve this wound. Don''t worry about it¡ª"


    My blabbering was cut off as I felt the warm lips covering mine, swallowing my words¡­


    Eshan had grabbed my waist at some point, cradling back of my head with his other hand. His lips silenced me in a most intimate way. Feeling his lips on mine after so long, I could not help but cry.


    I did not know why I started crying. I did not know why he kissed me so suddenly. I did not know what was going on anymore. I did not want to cry. How could I be so weak to start crying at every little small thing?


    The hurt in my heart did not allow me to hold him like I always did. His lips glided smoothly over mine, they wanted permission to trespass the territory that had been not visited for a long period. Overwhelmed with my emotions, I pressed my lips tightly refusing to open up the path for him.


    I could feel my face getting drenched with my tears. Why was he kissing me? Did he not just throw accusations on me?


    I pushed him away because if I stayed longer, I was going to say things that could destroy everything. The suffering of the last month would be in vain then. Eshan seemed to have different plans as he tightened his hold and continued keeping his lips fused to mine, which made me cry harder.


    My whole energy was gone. Just a couple of hours I had cried bitterly, then how could I have so many tears to shed still? The turmoil in my heart grew. One part of me wanted to just pour out everything to him, telling him what people close to him did to me.


    Why it had to be people he loved, cared, were the ones always hurting me. I had done nothing to them to deserve such kind of treatment. Then, why?


    Eshan''s kiss felt suffocating to me. The memories of that incident of how things went wrong between us were resurfacing in my mind. I had wanted to wipe that incident out of my mind, but things were not easy.


    If only I had Eshan by my side that day, but then again he would have been the person to get hurt the most because of it.


    ***


    (Flashback: The six month wedding anniversary night.)


    ***


    I bit my lip after realizing my folly. How could I be so perverted? I actually misunderstood his words, and blurted out words I could regrettably never take back.


    I wanted to hide back under the covers again, but Eshan had already leaned down and stole my breath away with his slow and savory kiss. I could hardly remember anything.


    "Tesoro, you''re so na?ve," Eshan chuckled as he pulled away after what felt like an eternity. My eyes moved to his lips as they loomed dangerously over mine.


    "Can you stop teasing me?"


    I played with the button of his white shirt as I avoided his playful gaze. Taking into consideration the event that followed the whole day, I could not help but feel jittery.


    "As you wish my love¡­ but then you''ll have to give me an hour."


    Eshan held the wrist of my hand which was toying with that damn button. My ears perked at his request for an hour. Why was he asking for it?


    Eshan kissed the inside of my wrist. "Won''t you look at me?"


    I finally raised my eyelashes and took look at the handsome face of my husband. Every time I looked at those deep eyes, I could not help but find myself sinking more and more in his love.


    He had that charismatic personality where one could not help but fall for him, unrestrained.


    Eshan''s lips curved into that breath-taking smile.


    "What do you want to do?" I sighed helplessly. In front of this man, I could not hold my bearings much less any protest. I could only go with what he wanted and desired.


    My mind would not let me be ease until I complied with his wishes.


    He moved his hand to the table and pressed a button. The slow music suddenly started playing in the silent room.


    Candles, incense stick, romantic atmosphere and now music?


    I could not understand what exactly he wanted to do. Nonetheless, I gave in and waited for what would follow after this.


    Eshan placed a slow kiss on the insides of my wrist again as he finally pulled back and leisurely stood up. I recognized the tune playing. It was an old song from Amir Khan''s movie, ''Raja Hindustani''.


    Eshan forwarded his hand and gestured me to take it. He seemed to be having planned something very special. I wondered why though. For a life of me, I could not think of the reason. It was as if there was something very important which I should have remembered but I failed in doing so.


    "I don''t know how to dance," I said once I stood up taking hold of his outstretched hand.


    Eshan just smiled in response. He wrapped both hands around my waist. He started swaying both of us slowly as the music continued. I could not hear any lyrics and it was all purely music without any words.


    I was puzzled.


    "Am I forgetting something?" I asked him as I kept my hands on his shoulders.


    "Happy sixth month wedding anniversary, love," Eshan wished as he leaned down to place a kiss on my forehead.


    My jaw dropped. How could I forget something so important? Hopeless, I was truly a hopeless person.


    Just as I was about to wish him the music was cut off abruptly and instead of it ringtone indicating an incoming call rang.


    Who could be calling him so late?

 Chapter 198 - How things fell apart (2)

    (Flashback continues)


    |Innaya|


    Eshan groaned. It seemed like he did not expect that call as well. It was nearing to mid-night. Hence, if someone was calling then it had to be important. Then again, why was I having this sudden ill feeling rising in my heart?


    How could I forget that we completed six months of our married life? I was yet to wish him, and here people were ready to disturb our private time. I could see reluctance on Eshan''s face. He did not want to answer the call. I could see it in his eyes. However, he had to. What if it was important?


    "Answer it," I said as I pushed him a little.


    Eshan pulled away his arms from my waist little reluctantly. Walking around my right side he went to pick his mobile from the bedside table.


    I looked around, taking in all the decorations he had made.


    It was my second time of actually looking at the decorations. Earlier, I had missed the cake on the coffee table. The beautiful heart-shaped red and white color cake was actually a big one with the simple decoration of colorful flowers on one side and a picture of a couple dancing at the bottom side.


    Walking closer to take a better look at the cake that looked so delicious and beautiful, I licked my lips. Besides the cake, the white envelope was folded neatly. Beautiful calligraphy was clear to read.


    "Happy six months wedding anniversary my dear wife."


    His talent for calligraphy was not known to me. He had so many sides to his personality. Spending a lifetime with him would not be enough to discover how many talents my husband possessed. Then again, would not it better this way?


    I would have all the time in this world to discover his hidden shades, making me fall for him more and more.


    On the couch behind the coffee table a large rectangular shaped box merely a thumb''s length in height, but around five to six feet long in the length wrapped in a dark velvet colored gift paper laid inconspicuously. The dim light in the room had kept it hidden from my eyes.


    I could not help but feel lucky for having Eshan as my husband. Even the lighting series was decorated in a heart shape.


    In the meanwhile, Eshan''s frustrated voice reprimanded the called. It was a common occurrence nowadays. If someone dared to interrupt our time, he would be angry at the one doing that.


    "Damn it! Why you people have to find me only? Am I that free of a person in your eyes? Is there any respect for my privacy?" Eshan angrily scolded someone.


    "What''s wrong? Will you calm down a little?" Wrapping my hands around his waist I hugged him from the back.


    The anger radiating from his body language screamed that something had gone wrong. The question remained what? Feeling my touch, his tensed shoulders relaxed a bit. He sighed. Keeping my head on his back, I waited for him to get done with the caller. The curiosity about what had upset him made me anxious.


    "I''ll get there in half an hour. Keep everything ready," Eshan snapped into the phone.


    A heavy silence descended in the room. Eshan''s tensed muscles weren''t helping either. For whatever was the reason, he had to tell it sooner before my nerves collapsed from thinking too much. We had to get back to our pending celebrations, with me finally wishing him.


    "Sweetheart, I''m sorry." Eshan''s unexpected apology startled me.


    "Why, for the interruption? It is okay, Eshan. Let''s cont¡ª"


    "I need to leave," Eshan interrupted me.


    Dropping my hands, I swiftly walked around and stood facing him.


    "Leave? Where? Why? What happened?" Bombarding him with questions, I tried to stay calm.


    Eshan''s fallen face wasn''t helping much.


    "Something happened at London''s branch. I need to make a trip there to handle things."


    My heart dropped in my chest. The hands holding his arms fell limply by my side. He had to leave.


    "Why, you? Why, now?" I asked.


    "Innaya." Eshan''s arms held my staggering figure. "Sweetheart, I''m also baffled. Someone else could have easily replaced me, but unexpectedly no one''s available. I had strictly instructed to not disturb me until it''s absolutely. They were out of option. So, as the CEO I''ll have to lead our team. The plane is ready and waiting, I''ll have to be there as soon as can. I don''t know how long it will take."


    Unfortunately, my ears did not register his reasoning. All I knew was that he was leaving again.


    Lifting my tearful gaze I gazed at his helpless eyes. I knew that I was going to be alone for an unknown amount of time, again. Last time I at least had Amma and Arjun, but this time there was no one whom I could rely upon.


    The sudden news of his business trip gave me a foreboding feeling.


    "Please bring me along," I pleaded, realizing I could also tag along. That way, I would not be left behind.


    Eshan sighed heavily as his hands gripped my forearms a little tightly. "We don''t have your visa."


    Blinking my teary eyes I stared at him pleadingly. So much had happened in past months that the mattered of the visa lied in the back of our mind, unnoticed.


    We reap what we sow.


    Our negligence was not coming to mock us in our face.


    "Isn''t there any other way?" I attempted for the last time, though the situation was crystal.


    "If this was unofficial, I could have found some way. However, the situation there is little out of control for now. I''m worried I''ll have to let you down. I can''t bring you along." He caressed the side of my face.


    Eshan''s fingers lingered near my cheek. The drumming of my heart continued, making me anxious and weary. For some reason, I did not want to part ways with him.


    "I wanted to make this special for you, for us. Alas! Something or other always crops us in the end moment. From the next time, I''m going to cut off every outside communication when we''re together," Eshan almost vowed.


    This vow did not make me feel any better.


    The present was important. We do not know what would happen in the future. In the future, we would always have the opportunity to make sure that I would not be lacking any doc.u.ment for leaving this country freely with him.


    His mobile went off again.


    They were urging him.


    He had to leave soon.

 Chapter 199 - How Things Fell Apart (3)

    (Flashback continues)


    ***


    |Innaya|


    "I''ll pack your bag."


    Turning around, I blinked my eyes filled with hot tears. Crying would only make things harder for him. I could not do that to him. I could not do that to myself. For him, I had to be strong.


    All the decorations, romantic atmosphere, that beautiful cake, everything suddenly started emitting the wave of grief in my heart.


    Ruined.


    Everything was ruined because of his abrupt business trip. Right now, I had no other option than to help him leave peacefully. Making things difficult for him would do no good to any of us. What was the point of making a sad face? Now looking at all the efforts taken by him, I could not help but sigh sadly.


    A hand shot out from behind, gripping my wrist. The steps advancing toward the wardrobe froze. That small skin contact broke through all the reasoning my mind gave to my heart and tossing every sane thought out of the window I spun and embraced the man I loved.


    Restraining my control, I just held him tightly without shedding tears or breaking into loud sobs. He was not going to leave me permanently. It was just a business trip which would end soon. I pacified my distress heart.


    The man in my grasp stiffened. Maybe, not expecting that I would throw myself at him. However, his surprise lasted only for a fleeting moment before he reciprocated my gesture.


    Ignoring the packed up schedule, ignoring the ruined six months anniversary, ignoring the throbbing ache in my heart, I just stood there feeling his solid warmth emitting figure. In the coming days, lack of his physical presence was going to haunt me.


    Things were just settling down, yet this separation appeared out of nowhere. Comparing my life to one of those television dramas would not be wrong. One crisis or another kept happening.


    "You don'' have to. My staff will take care of it. Would you be fine being on your own? Arjun, Ayush, both are not in the city. We don''t know when mom and grandma will return either. I am not comfortable with leaving you at my cousin''s place. We know what had happened at her house. The best option at the moment I see is calling Parth''s mother over. She would be staying alone as Parth is also coming with me. You both can accompany each other. What do you think?"


    Gulping down the lump in my throat, I nodded against his chest. "Do what you see fit. I don''t have any objections."


    His mobile went off for the third time. He needed to leave, and he needed to leave soon. Despite the countless protests of my heart, I pulled myself away from his comforting warmth.


    "Don''t miss me too much." Eshan leaned down and rubbed his nose against mine.


    I smiled through tears. His small action made me want to throw myself again in his arms.


    Looking in the eyes of the man who would be leaving soon, I could not help but cast away my inhibitions and raise my body on my toes. It just happened that Eshan shared my intentions as well, for he leaned down at the same moment. Our lips met in the middle and my emotions controlled my actions.


    Bringing my arms upwards, I wrapped them around his neck. It would be the last kiss of ours after which I had no idea when I would have a chance to feel his lips again. Last time, fortunately, he had returned very soon, but this time there was that impending feeling of something not being right was eating me up from within.


    I welcomed his eager lips, and literally, the world faded to nothing around us. The two-person remained in the yellow glow from lED''s were molding in one figure in the beautifully decorated room. Eshan cupped my face in his large hands as he sucked, nibbled, smooched. My body as if knew what it wanted for it reciprocated his fervor I never knew I had in me.


    After what felt like an eternity, but in actuality were mere minutes we pulled away. Eshan put his forehead on my shoulder as his hands pulled me tightly in his grasp. I gasped for the air. For the first time, I was getting angry over my lack of stamina.


    "I need to leave."


    Eshan though said this, his body did not show any sign of leaving me anytime soon. Hardening my heart, I quickly stabilized my breathing as the cake on the table reminded me of our uncelebrated anniversary.


    "Let''s cut the cake before you leave." I caressed his hair as I pulled him toward the table.


    "Let''s be quick." Eshan lit up one candle and picked up the knife.


    I nodded. Holding onto his right hand, I closed my eyes to make a wish.


    Eshan kissed my cheek that had me open my eyes. "Don''t make any wish now, Tesoro. We''ll celebrate this again- in leisure." Turning my head, I glanced at my husband. He never ceased to amaze with his thoughts.


    "I wish for us to remain always together, happily." The words I said took me by surprise. Why would I wish for something like that when he clearly told me not to make a wish? The moisture pooling in my eyes also made me worried.


    The lips pressing on my forehead provided a sense of relief. "We''ll always be together no matter what," Eshan replied as his lips peppered small kisses all over my face.


    I giggled suddenly feeling ticklish with his affection.


    His mobile went off again. Giving a glare to the buzzing machine we rushed to quickly finish our little celebration which could have turned into a memorable moment which now had to be a rushed affair. How unfortunate!


    ***


    "Argh! I miss him." I punched the cushion in my lap. It had not been a complete day to his departure yet, and I''d started missing Eshan like crazy. After he left last night, I could not fall asleep no matter how much I tried.


    I stayed awake, glancing at the gift he had left behind. He had specifically asked me not to open it. The curious side of me wanted to take a quick glance. However, with much effort, I stopped myself. He must have his reasons for it.


    Fortune silently laid on the mattress as I punched the cushions in frustration. It was nearing noon, and I had not done anything yet. I just sat listlessly in the living room. I had called him twice, but his mobile came switched off.


    For some odd reasons, I felt uneasy. As if something was going to happen. I had the same feeling yesterday. It was not that prominent, but now I could feel it strongly. Above that, my left eye kept twitching.


    As if on the cue, the doorbell rang out.


    Who could be at this time?


    We barely had any visitors. I decided to check through the CCTV monitor first before I opened the door. Eshan had left a bunch of instructions last night. Who knew which one would come handy at a time like this.


    Stunned, my eyes widened in a shock at the sight of a woman standing outside.


    Hurriedly, I opened up the door. I could not let her wait up outside anymore. I had no idea why did she suddenly come to our place, but I could not let my shock mess up things.


    "Mother-in-law. Please come inside," I greeted the woman standing outside. She was not a stranger, but the mother of my husband. After our marriage, this was the first time I had seen her. At that time as things happened in a rush, we had not gotten any time to get closer. Maybe, this time we could bond well.


    Though deep down my heart was in mess at her sudden arrival. I did not know how to handle people that to when I did not know them well.


    "Eshan is not at home. He''s on a business trip," I added when I saw her searching gaze. She had not said a single word since the moment I opened the door for her. Even her eyes did not glance at me. That was weird.


    Suddenly, the bad feeling in my heart was rising again...

 Chapter 200 - How Things Fell Apart (4)

    (Flashback Continues)


    |Innaya|


    Fortune''s barking disrupted the awkward moment, turning it into an angry one. I could feel the anger emitting from my mother-in-law''s body language.


    "Fortune, calm down. She''s no stranger." I caressed Fortune''s head as I slightly blocked him from approaching further.


    "What''s this dog doing here? Get rid of it. Throw him out of here." Mother-in-law''s words were baffling.


    ''Get rid of it.'' What kind of statement was this? How could she detest any animal, and even referring to that animal as ''it''? I did not understand it. And, her tone was quite sharp.


    "I''ll leave him in the garden, wait a moment. Come inside, please. I''ll be quick."


    I did not want to leave Fortune out, but I had no other option. I could not disrespect her. She might as well have fear of dogs for all I knew.


    "Let''s go." I led Fortune out in the garden through the back door. While on my way out, I took his bowls of water and dog food. Once I settled him outside, I returned.


    My mother-in-law sat in one of the sofa chairs in the living room. She looked pretty uninterested. Her mood also seemed awfully off. My heart started pounding heavily in my chest. I did not know how I was supposed to behave around her. This was my first time being in the company of hers- alone. It kind of scared me a little.


    "Sign this." Her cold words startled me. Instead of asking me about my well-being or Eshan''s, for that matter, she wanted me to sign something. This was completely unexpected.


    "What is this mother-in-law?" I asked with a little caution. The situation was scaring me.


    "Don''t call me that. After you sign this, we won''t have any relationship between us."


    Her words shook the very ground beneath my feet. What did she mean by it? With trembling fingers, I picked up the file she had thrown on the coffee table.


    Flipping the cover, my eyes found the words written in the bold letters.


    "DIVORCE AGREEMENT." I thought I had read it wrongly. It was until the moment I found that it had Eshan''s and my name.


    "What''s the meaning of this?" The legal doc.u.ment had shaken my whole composure. Colour drained from my face as I could not believe what I was seeing before my eyes. The tears gathering in my eyes made it difficult for me to see the expressions of the woman who was my husband''s mother.


    "I don''t want a woman like you to stay in my son''s life. I know you wouldn''t be willing to leave him just like that, so here is the check. Put any amount you want and free my son from shackles of your madness."


    "W-what are you saying? I-I love¡ª" The words of professing my love for Eshan were on tip of my tongue. Those words were interrupted by a new voice as I was about to reason with my mother-in-law.


    "Oh, please. Just shut up. Don''t play this sympathy card with us. We''re not him. We won''t be fooled by this pretense of yours. We had made a mistake by allowing our Eshan to marry you, but now we''re going to make things right. Just sign on it and leave right at this moment. We don''t want your cursed fate to ruin our Eshan''s life," a shrill voice rang out from the door.


    My head flipped in the direction of the voice. A woman in her mid-forties, wearing a black gown with her slightly fat figure sauntered inside with her shoulder-length brown hair flipping behind her. I did not know her. Her words were too sharp; she berated me without any break.


    I turned to face the woman seating silently on the chair. She had not said any word to stop the woman from spouting nonsense. She allowed her daughter-in-law to get insulted. "Mother¡ª"


    "Are you deaf? Did you not listen to what I just said? Sign on the divorce papers, pack your bags, and leave." The woman shouted again. She walked inside and sat beside my mother-in-law, glancing coldly at me.


    "Don''t make us throw you out of here. Prerna, I know such kind of girls. I''ll handle them well," she said to my mother-in-law, who had no intention of stopping or explaining what was going on.


    Such kind of girls? What does that even mean? Exactly what kind of girl was I in their eyes?


    I mustered all my courage. If I did not take a stand for myself, I would never be able to forgive myself. What was the meaning of this? Suddenly my mother-in-law entered the picture after six long months only to ask me to leave her son. She even came when Eshan was not at home. If Eshan came to know about this, I wonder how he would react.


    "I-I won''t divorce Eshan." Thinking about Eshan''s loving face gave me the courage to hold on.


    "YOU¡ª"


    The other woman wanted to scold me, but my mother-in-law raised her hand stopping her. She then stood up and walked before me. Eshan''s eyes resembled hers a lot. I now knew from where my husband had gotten his deep eyes. However, her eyes lacked warmth and were colder than ice glaciers.


    "You won''t divorce him? Hmm, let''s talk about what you have given him so far. Do you know how much effort he took after he married you and before that? He exhausted himself to no end by working days and nights. Forget that. Tell me. In the last six months have you ever thought about us? Have you ever tried to contact us? To know us? You even snatched my son. He forgot about us. I could have borne it.


    But, tell me why did my son cut off himself for more than two months? Where was he? You were being here all alone in this house with another man, and where was my son? What were you doing behind his back? Huh? I don''t want to spoil my language by recounting what you did. I don''t want you to implicate my son. Today, I caught the wind of it. What if the media gets hold of this? I don''t want my son to lose his dignity because his wife could not stay in her limits."


    My ears felt as if someone poured hot oil in them. Another man? She directly accused me of being an unfaithful woman. I could not hear the rest of her words as my mind started blocking down all the noises around me with her accusation playing in my ears.

 Chapter 201 - How Things Fell Apart (5)

    (Flashback Continues)


    ***


    |Innaya|


    Under the blazing sun, I did not know how I dragged my lifeless body out of the mansion. After almost being thrown out of my place, I did not know what to do. The people I knew in Mumbai were almost countable on my fingers, and at the moment there was not a single one whom I could ask for help.


    My first option was Arjun, but sadly he was not in the city. And, I did not know where he lived. Even if I knew it, I would not have gone to his place after what I had just heard.


    My mother-in-law and that woman, both of them were not ready to listen to me. After the accusation and hurtful words they threw out, I had no desire to explain. I even failed to understand when and how I left the house and found myself sitting on the bench by the roadside.


    I did not have my mobile or purse with me. It was all inside the house. The main door was locked by them before they left slapping the divorce paper on my face. Well, it looked like the tales they tell of how vicious in-laws could be, were not exaggerated.


    Hiding my face in my palms, I wondered what went wrong. Tears in my eyes were long dried as my heart had gone cold. The dread of being separated from Eshan was too scary. It had been only with his presence in my life that I had started dreaming about our happy and peaceful future. I had dared to love him and trust relationsh.i.p.s. I had dared to dream. But, now things looked uncertain.


    "Eshan."


    The feeling of endless despair and agony filled my heart, and I could not help but tremble with the grief. Just yesterday everything was so good. We were happy. And, in just one night, things changed to this extent. I did not even understand what the future held for me.


    I was not that strong to bear this blow. If I had to leave Eshan, then it was certain that I would not be able to sustain it. I was going to end up miserable and without any hope for my life. My childhood sufferings had already weakened my personality, and if I were to receive this, I did not know what would happen.


    "Ah! Why me? Why me?" I cried in my palms. I thought I had no tears to shed as the shock of the situation was too huge to bear. "What do I do?" I helplessly muttered.


    I missed Eshan terribly. Only if he was by my side, I would not be called such names. If only he was by my side, then no one could humiliate me in this way. It was as of dangers followed only when he was missing from my side.


    I was not in a stable mental state to perceive the words of those two women. Half of the words thrown later went unheard.


    "You better leave our Eshan. He deserves someone far better than a disgraceful and madwoman like you. Who knows what you do behind his back. Hurry and get lost. We don''t want your shadow to fall on our Eshan. Prerna, you shouldn''t have agreed for this marriage. Why didn''t you investigate her background and character before? It''s such a pity that six months of Eshan''s life were wasted because of such kind of a woman."


    The accusation of having an extramarital affair with Arjun and being a madwoman echoed in my mind.


    How they got this information remained a mystery. How they appeared at our house was again a mystery. I was thrown out of my house without zero belongings. They did not care what would happen to me. They did not care if I lived or died. They just wanted me to get out of Eshan''s life.


    Would they have dared to do so if Eshan was around? What kind of reaction would Eshan have if he were to know what his mother did? What would he do? Would he choose his mother?


    Thinking about those questions hurt my head. There seemed no way out of the situation. Suddenly, I felt my head getting dizzy. I had little to no opening to support myself before I felt my word going blank, and my body lost all the strength.


    The last thing I remembered was the sharp pain shooting in my head before I went unconscious.


    ***


    I woke up to the sound of someone''s talking. However, the moment I opened my eyes with a bit of difficult the voice stopped. For some very odd reasons, my eyelids felt too heavy. Even moving my body was a huge task.


    And, why the hell my head felt so heavy?


    "Careful." A male voice rang out from my left side.


    Startled, I struggled more when I heard that concerned foreign male voice. At the same moment how my mother-in-law locked me out of my house appeared before my closed eyes.


    My shoulders were held by someone, and the pain shooting in my head only worsened. I opened my eyes a little forcefully. The face of the man looming over mine made me cower back reflexively as my vision got clear. I never wanted to be in the company of this unpredicatable man. Why was he here?


    "You''ve hurt your head. Don''t move around hastily," he said, stepping back while his eyes were filled with concern.


    I kept my guard up as his words registered in my mind.


    "What are you doing here?" I asked him.


    "What you were doing outside on your own? How could you be so careless to ignore your safety? Do you know what could have happened? How can you be so careless? Don''t you care about yourself? Don''t you know how dangerous it is out there? You¡ª"


    Ignoring his ranting I looked around to find a way to leave. I did not want to stay in his company. How did I end up with him? When my eyes fell upon the area beside me, I failed to recognize the room.


    I found myself in an extremely unfamiliar room. I was lying on the queen-sized bed, and there was a drip attached to my left arm. The interior of the room was simple as the blue and cream color walls held nothing but the paintings of nature. The beautiful paintings of mountains, rivers, lakeside, and whatnot, gave the room a calming atmosphere. However, I felt the storm rising inside me.


    I did not know how I ended up in this place. All I remembered was the spell of dizziness that had washed over me before I had lost my consciousness.


    "Why am I here?" I asked him, interrupting whatever he was speaking. Right at the moment, I did not wish to indulge in any sort of wordplay with him. I wanted to know why I was here, and how could I leave from here.


    My head did not cease hurting.


    "Stop stressing."


    "Karan, did you kidnap me again? Why won''t you let me be?" I cried out in frustration. The last time when I had been kidnapped, Eshan had found me in the end. This time, I could not even wish for the same.


    "NO." He yelled before he toned down his voice, "I found you unconscious on the ground, and all alone. I don''t know how long you were there. I took you back to your house but it was locked. I could not get in contact with your husband. So, I had no other option but to bring you back with me. You have hurt your head. It looked like you have hurt it badly as the corner of your forehead was bleeding." He finished as he sat down in the chair by my bedside. "The doctor said, the wound is superficial it would heal in a couple of days. You need plenty of rest and food. You can''t starve yourself."


    I looked down at the IV needle in my skin. Karan''s explanation did not have anything suspicious because when I connected the dots, what he said was quite possible. I was locked out. Eshan must be in the meeting, and after what had happened last time, it was most likely that he would not answer Karan''s call.


    "What happened? Where''s Eshan?" He asked.


    Once he asked that question, I could not help but look away to the far corner.


    Eshan was not here, and his mother wanted me to leave him for forever. Recalling about the incident from the morning, I ended up tearing again. The people who were family refused to show humanity, and the man whom I did not know that well ended up helping me big time.


    He was right. Anything could have happened when I was unconscious. Then again, those two women would have been happy that they got rid of me easily. I should not have left the mansion. At most I could have stayed in the garden¡­


    Garden.


    Thinking about garden, I suddenly realised that I had left Fortune there...

 Chapter 202 - How Things Fell Apart (6)

    (Flashback continues)


    ***


    |Innaya|


    Just as I was about to get out of the bed to go back for Fortune, something wet, slippery touched my feet. Startled, I looked down only to find the dog licking the sole of my feet. My agitated heart settled a bit at finding someone familiar by my side who would not judge me.


    I did not know how Karan brought Fortune along. Anyhow, it helped me greatly.


    "Fortune." I heaved a sigh of relief at finding Fortune perched up at the foot of the bed. My tears finally fell relentlessly. Fortune stood up, moved closer to me, and rubbed his head against my shoulder softly. I could not help but sob out loud at his pure love. It was as if he could sense my distress and was trying to comfort me. I realized animals have more humanity and empathy than humans.


    It was the same animal that I was wary of, but today it was the same animal that was showering his endless love on me. I rubbed his head, feeling the warmth bubbling in my heart.


    "Why are you crying so much? Is it hurting anywhere? Tell me, I''ll call the doctor." Karan stood up taking out his mobile, perhaps dialing the number of the doctor. I could feel his concern. Why would he get concerned over me? The question puzzled me.


    "No need." Regaining control over my emotions, I refused him as I wiped my face. Answering his questions was not my responsibility. I had not forgotten about the torment he had put me through. That experience of kidnapping still sent shivers down my spine.


    I needed to leave. I did not need his sympathy.


    "Don''t," he called out.


    I stared at the hand that held my wrist. I was about to pull away the needle stuck in my vein when Karan stopped me.


    "I need to leave," I told him flatly. "Thank you for taking care of me. I''ll remember your kindness and repay in the future to best of my abilities," I said sincerely. He had helped me in one of the weakest and the lowest point of my life. How could I just ignore it? I did not know what kind of intentions he harbored, but nonetheless, he had helped me. That was the truth.


    "Why are you being so formal? You are Eshan''s wife," he replied, putting away my hand. "Don''t take it out. You''ve been unconscious for nearly four hours. The doctor said you need the saline. What happened? Why were you out? How could Eshan leave you alone? I did not know he was that careless. You are his wife, how could he forget his responsibility towards you?" he rattled on, blaming Eshan.


    I retorted, getting angry at the fact that he was blaming Eshan. "The wife you had abducted."


    "That was not abduction," he denied again, shaking his head. There was a brief look of regret on his face.


    "Yeah, it was you playing a sick joke on me," I snorted. The mistreatment I had received at the hands of people closed to Eshan was finally starting to get on my nerves. Deep down, I knew there was no point in taking it on him, but I could not help it.


    "That was a misunderstanding," he refused vehemently.


    "Yeah, you all people seem to harbor misunderstanding towards me only. What wrong did I do to you? Huh? I''m trying to live my life, but you don''t seem to like it. Will all of you be happy if I kill myself?" The wave of anger and helplessness washed over me, making me lose my senses for a moment.


    "INNAYA," Karan yelled loudly.


    His yell reminded me of what I was talking about. I bit my lip, turning my eyes away from him to the Fortune who was being guarded against Karan. Karan''s loud yell had startled him. I petted his head, trying to calm him down.


    I had seen Eshan doing that. I had never seen Fortune in a guarded manner. Eshan had told me that the pets could sense the emotions of the owner. So, when they were stressed, it was a good thing to remain calm.


    By being close to Fortune, I was trying to feel close to Eshan. It was foolish of me. I knew, but I could not help but seek safety with Fortune. Unlike other related people to Eshan, Fortune had never hurt me.


    The severity of the words I had spoken in anger was dawning on me, making me feel ashamed for even having the thought of dying. How could I make a mockery about my life?


    Karan stood up, glaring momentarily at me before his eyes softened. "Stop talking rubbish. How could you say something like that? I know I was wrong, but that was a misunderstanding. I never wanted to hurt you. I would never hurt you. What happened? Why are you so stressed? Let me call Eshan. Talk to him, you''ll feel better."


    "No. Don''t call him," I turned to him and almost yelled. However, I was late for he had already dialed Eshan''s number.


    Ignoring the drip or my aching body, I got down from the bed and snatched the mobile out of his hand, promptly disconnecting the call.


    "Careful."


    I moved out of Karan''s reach as he tried to hold my staggering figure. I slumped on the bed once I achieved my motive.


    Right now, I was not in the proper mind-set. How could I talk to Eshan when I knew I would end up crying? What I would tell him about his mother''s intention? It was not clear to me yet.


    I wanted to let him know the truth. But, that would end up ruining his relationship with his mother. Then again, if I did not tell him, what would I do?


    "You''re bleeding," Karan''s surprised shout diverted my attention to my arm where that IV was inserted. Due to my abrupt movement, the needle had come out, and the blood was flowing from that puncture in my skin.


    He pressed his handkerchief at the wound. I took a look at the face of the man who was being concerned about my well-being.


    "Can you be a little careful? I don''t know how Eshan handles you. He must be always on his toes looking after you," Karan lamented. I could see he was trying to loosen up the atmosphere, but his joke was terrible. His worried expressions for me seemed genuine though.


    "Why are you being nice to me?" I asked suddenly, taking hold of the white handkerchief which would surely have bloodstains on it.


    Karan''s hand hovered in the air for a bit before he sighed and sat back in the chair. "I''ll answer all your questions, but before that, tell me why did you end up in such a condition?"

 Chapter 203 - This is nothing compared to your words...

    |Eshan|


    Helplessness is like the grip of a slithering snake. It coils around you, snatching your abilities to take any action.


    Holding Innaya in my arms, I did not know how much time had passed. She had cried herself to the point of having zero energy to move. She just slumped against my chest. Her expressions kept changing from time to time and they kept worsening. It looked as if she was recalling some unpleasant memory. If only I could see what was going on in that tiny brain of hers.


    Picking her fragile body in my arms, I brought her inside and placed her on the bed. With her careless probing that wound had gotten big. She had to be in a lot of pain, but I had a feeling that whatever was bothering her pained her more.


    Innaya closed her eyes once her back touched the headrest. She did not say anything or moved a bit. I regretted saying those words to her. When did I become so heartless to hurt her with my words?


    Glancing at her lonely frame, my heart screamed at me for hurting her. Just how could I? I wished I could take back those words. Alas! I could not do that. All I could do was to make up for my mistakes.


    Hurrying back to the bathroom, I brought the medicine box. I sat beside Innaya and took her hand in my hold. Just looking at the blood and how deep her nails had hurt her made me feel the pain. The wound which could have healed in a day or two now needed almost a week. She would have to bear the pain for more time.


    "It will hurt. Just hold on." I started to clean the wound with antiseptic liquid as I warned her.


    "This is nothing compared to your words," Innaya muttered under her breath little sardonically.


    My hand froze and the cotton dropped on the bed. She had not opened her eyes yet and it looked like she had no mood to do so. The fact that she did not even want to see me, hurt me like anything.


    "I''m sorry. I didn''t mean to¡­" Words failed me, and I could not say something in response. It was my fault, so how could I rectify it?


    "Innaya, what''s wrong? How did we end up in such a condition?" I helplessly asked. My voice almost choked up with the emotions.


    Her lips stayed still, her complexion looked worse. She was suppressing her emotions, thoughts. Watching her bear everything and keeping things in her heart was making our relationship strain. She knew how much our relationship was suffering because of her silence, but she was adamant about not talking.


    I cupped her face, wishing for her to open her eyes and look at me. I wanted to see my reflection in those talkative orbs. No matter how much she tried to suppress her emotions, her eyes would always reveal her innermost thoughts, fears, and emotions. Innaya slightly relaxed when I caressed her cheek with my thumb.


    My gaze moved to her lips. Feeling them after so long had made me long for them. It was the only way I knew I could make her feel my apology. I didn''t trust my words anymore. They had almost cost her a panic attack.


    Leaning down, I captured her lips. Pouring my apology in my actions, I hoped she could feel my sincerity. I did not mean to hurt her, but I had ended up doing that. Ayesha had played a part in messing things. I just stayed like that for a couple of moments, pressing my lips against hers.


    I wished I could take away her pain, but the time was not right yet. If I were to crumble now, Innaya could never overcome her insecurities. I wanted to see how long she could hide things from me, bearing all the pain alone.


    I pecked her lips one last time before pulling away. She did not react, but I could see a tear trickling down through the rightmost corner of her eye. I quickly bandaged her wound and left the bedroom. The more


    I stayed with her, the more I wanted to just end all our sufferings.


    I hastened my steps and walked to my study. After the scene Ayesha had created, I did not want to see her for time being. The mess I had made would not allow me to be before Innaya''s eyes for the time being. So, I locked myself in the study. I needed some time to cool down and think things thoroughly.


    The first thing I did was to punch the wall. How could I hurt her with my words? Her crestfallen face, those endless tears, and how low she thought about herself- everything flashed before my eyes.


    "Damn you Eshan Sighaniya! You don''t deserve her love," I cursed myself.


    I wanted to slap myself. How absurd I could be? I dropped myself in the chair, staring out of the glass window.


    My mind reeled back to the events that unfolded a month ago when I was in London.


    ***


    (Flashback)


    ***


    "Damn it. Why isn''t she answering my call?" I paced in the hotel room. From the moment our flight had landed, I was trying to call Innaya, but she wasn''t answering.


    Parth stood obediently in one corner as he tried to calm down the situation. "Sir, calm down. Ma''am must be busy."


    "No matter how busy she is, she won''t ignore my calls. It''s the tenth call I''m making," I snapped at him. How would he understand the unsettling feeling in my heart? Since the moment I boarded the flight, my heart was in a weird turmoil.


    "She''ll call you back when she sees miscalls," Parth tried to reason.


    "Something is not right. If only your mother was there with Innaya. I could have felt at ease," I sighed little regrettably.


    "I know, Sir. But, Mom had to leave for my aunt''s hometown. There''s some family emergency. I''m sorry," Parth apologized with regret.


    "Forget it." I waved off. If his mother had other matters to handle then it was not their fault.


    "Sahil shouldn''t have been allowed to handle this branch alone. Now, I''ve to clear the mess he has left behind," I muttered angrily.


    I started regretting coming over. Only after arriving in the office of our branch did I understood that the situation had only worsened because of the negligence of the management. My stay here would be longer than I had anticipated because I had to uproot the whole management and such things took time. The investors, our partners were all the verge of breaking all ties with our company. The issue had escalated to the level where other people would not be able to do anything.


    I was already frustrated with the incompetency of these people.


    "Sir, you can contact those bodyguards you have left behind for Ma''am. They can check on Ma''am for you," Parth suggested after thinking for a while.


    I stopped in my tracks. "Shit¡­ How can I forget about Carl''s people? Thank you, Parth." Turning my head towards him, I gave him a grateful smile.


    "No worries, sir."


    I dialed Raj''s number, impatiently waiting for him to answer.


    "Hel¡ª"


    "Is everything alright at my home?" I interrupted him as soon as he answered. I wanted to know how was Innaya. I just hoped that things were good at her end, and I was only being paranoid for nothing.

 Chapter 204 - Dare to bet with me?

    (Flashback continues)


    ***


    |Eshan|


    I had an urge to throttle someone. How could they not do their work? The information I had received about half an hour ago made me restless. The bodyguards I had left behind knew nothing about the situation. Seriously? They just told me that my house was locked, and they had no idea where Innaya was. Their continuous apology for their incompetence was of no use now. Was that going to bring Innaya''s news?


    I should have taken more measures to secure Innaya. I had left a warning for them to find me all the details within an hour before I had disconnected the call. I did not even listen to their explanations. They were given a single work of my wife''s safety, and they had screwed it up.


    "Arjun, where are you, buddy? Things would have been easier if you haven''t left." I stared at my mobile. Last time Arjun was the one who had singlehandedly tracked down Innaya''s whereabouts. This time I had no idea how I was going to get to the bottom of it. At times like this, I missed Arjun and his efficiency. No one could even come closer to his way of dealing with things.


    "Sir, Ma''am must have gone to her friend''s place. You should not worry much..."


    "Shut up, Parth. You don''t know anything. Innaya doesn''t have any friend in Mumbai," I snapped at him. Parth then turned silent.


    Where are you Innaya? Where are you?


    I ran my hand through my hair, feeling frustrated beyond limits.


    The tense atmosphere was broken by the incoming call. Carl''s name flashed over the screen. I immediately answered. I had called him previously when his people failed to do their job, but I couldn''t reach him.


    "What kind¡ª"


    My anger was cut short when I heard the news. "Sir, I''ve found Ma''am."


    "Is she alright? Where is she?" Relieved, I bombarded him with the questions. It was good news that they managed to get hold of her.


    "Sir." He interrupted my series of questions. "No. Something has happened. Ma''am is currently at Mr. Karan''s place."


    "What?" I was shocked. "Did he kidnap her again? How dare he? That bastard¡ª"


    "No. The matter is rather complicated. I''ve sent you the CCTV footage. Take a look at it first. But, we don''t know what had happened inside of your house, and we don''t have any way to check it out. The surveillance cameras outside your house aren''t working. Someone tampered with it," he explained rather solemnly.


    I disconnected the call. I sat on the couch and pulled my laptop on my lap from the table. I was already working while trying Innaya''s number, so the browser was opened. Going to my email, I opened the attachment.


    ***


    An hour later, after smashing the entire glass set and throwing countless cushions all across the room, I was ready to board the next flight for rushing back to Innaya. Unfortunately, I could not. For my family, I could not abdomen thousands of other families. The issue at the London branch had to be handled before I could leave.


    Just what the hell happened behind my back? Though the most important footage was missing, the rest of what I watched was enough to make me worried. I watched Innaya breaking down in the park before she fell down on the grass. That four-hour long footage of Innaya being all alone I had watched on fast forward. Her crying and then falling unconscious had made me feel the agonizing pain. I had never seen that kind of expression on her face.


    What had happened to her that she had the look of despair on her face? And, how did Karan knew where to find her? He had taken her unconscious figure away. I had caught the sight of injury on her forehead. The arm of that stone bench had ended up scrapping the skin on her forehead.


    Why did she not call me? There were endless questions without any specific answer.


    "Sir, do you know why was Ma''am in that state?" Parth cautiously asked from behind me.


    I clenched my fist by my side. "If I knew, she wouldn''t be in that state." I snapped at him.


    I dialed Carl''s number again. I needed to know what else he had to report.


    I yelled the moment when the call got connected, "What were your men doing when some stranger took my wife away? Do you even know how to do the work?" My whole anger after seeing Innaya in that state was directed toward him. Then again, both of his men had failed in their work.


    "Someone had knocked them unconscious, and I think it''s the one who tampered with the footage of the surveillance at your mansion. Ma''am is back at the mansion, but it looks as if she has suffered some heavy blow. Her forehead is bandaged, and she''s limping a little. Your dog was with her when Mr. Karan dropped her back. My men are working on finding the details of the whole ordeal. Give us a couple of hours. I''m sorry for my men''s incompetency," Carl finished his report in a single breath.


    "Is your apology going to change anything?" I gritted my teeth. "You''ve got an hour; get me details of everything."


    I threw my mobile on the bed where it bounced a couple of times. Parth brought a glass of water. I did not know where he found it. Sighing, I took the glass and gulped it down. I needed to calm down my mind.


    "I think you should call Ma''am again," Parth spoke once I visibly relaxed a bit. The mobile was on loudspeaker mode, so he had listened to everything.


    "I know." I nodded my head. "You try and contact Ayush."


    "Yes, sir," he replied promptly before he turned and walked to the door.


    I turned and called out as I remembered who could replace me if Ayush was not available. "Wait, contact Rey and ask him to take the earliest flight. Book my ticket, I''ll be returning."


    Just as he left the room, my mobile rang again. Calming down my anger I picked up my mobile from the bed. The screen displayed Karan''s name.


    The anger I had just calmed down, skyrocketed again. The visual of how he took Innaya away from the garden and tender gaze with which he had stared at her was still bothering me.


    "How does it feel to be helpless Eshan?" Karan asked in a lazy taunting voice.


    "YOU¡ª" I curled my fist by my side. He was succeeding in making me lose my temper.


    "Are you angry? Oh, what are you angry about, Mr. Singhaniya? Are you angry because your wife was with me? Tsk Tsk... How does it feel to be kept in the dark? Ah, such bliss..." he drawled out, and I could imagine his smirk.


    If only he was before my eyes. I could have beaten the hell out of him.


    His voice turned serious as he continued when I did not reply to him.


    "Withdraw your men. There is no use of tailing me. If you want to know the truth, go and ask your wife. But, I doubt you''ll know anything from her. She would never share what happened today with you. Dare to bet with me?"


    "SHUT UP! JUST. SHUT. THE. HELL. UP. The matter between my wife and me is none of anybody''s business." I lost it hearing him. I did not doubt Innaya even for a moment, but his provocative words were getting at me.


    "OH! Are you afraid of losing?" he chuckled trying to provoke me.

 Chapter 205 - I-Im leaving...

    (Flashback continues)


    ***


    |Eshan|


    Some people took relationsh.i.p.s too lightly when they gambled with it. The love between two people should never involve something like bets and all that bullshit with the third person. Because it just shows either overconfidence or the lack of trust. I would never give a place to these two terms in my life. Neither I would be overconfident, nor would I have a lack of trust. Matters of hearts should not be dealt with calculations. Calculations, planning, plotting results in the downfall of any relationship.


    "I don''t gamble with my relationsh.i.p.s," I said firmly. "If I see you again with my wife, I swear to god that I won''t let you off," I replied, threatening him. I knew my threats would not work on him.


    "You''ll stop me from seeing your wife? Do you have the capability? You cannot even save her from getting hurt, and you dare to warn me. What a joke?"


    ***


    (Flashback ends)


    ***


    The knocking sound on the door broke me out of my reverie. Karan''s words from that night still rang in my ears. He was right; I could not save my wife from getting hurt. How useless I was! I wiped the tears from my face.


    I pulled myself from the chair to open the door. I knew who was outside of the door. Just as I pulled the door open, I found her standing outside of the door, fidgeting with her fingers, tears streaming down her face.


    To me, she looked completely ridiculous. Though someone should not make fun of the crying person, how could I not feel disgusted at the mere sight of her?


    Knowingly or unknowingly, she had sprouted the nonsense she should not have. I could not bring myself to forgive her. Somewhere, she had become a catalyst, and I had said those words to Innaya.


    I folded my hands across my chest, staring at the woman before me.


    I knew it had been almost a couple of hours to that ruckus she had created. If she wanted things to calm down, then she had to stay the hell out of my sight. But, then again, watching her aggrieved face, the scene of her crying in childhood, and me taking care of her flashed before my eyes.


    I sighed as I calmed down myself. She was like a sister to me. I had often taken care of her in our childhood. For the sake of those childhood days, and the affection we had shared, I had to tone it down.


    "What is it?" I questioned, toning down my voice to not frighten her.


    "I-I''m leaving," Ayesha whispered, her voice was hoarse as if she had cried for a long time. She kept looking down at her feet.


    "What?" Surprised, I uncrossed my arms. Somewhere, I had expected that but did not think she would make the decision so soon.


    "I''m sorry for saying all that unnecessary stuff. I shouldn''t have joked on that matter. I-I..." she hiccupped while wiping down those tears from her face.


    For a moment, I compared her crying face to that of Innaya''s. The feeling of wanting to comfort was absent with Ayesha. If Innaya was the one in her place, my heart would have broken at the sight of tears in her eyes. I could not have waited even for a moment before taking her in my arms, trying to calm her down.


    I shook my head, wanting to throw those thoughts away. Why would I compare Innaya with someone? She was the only woman in my heart. No one could take her place in my life, and heart.


    "It''s okay, Ayesha. You don''t have to leave. We''ll are a.d.u.l.ts here. You know your fault, that''s all that matters. Don''t repeat what happened today. Then, we are all good," I replied, cursing myself in my heart. Why could I not ask her to leave? Why I had to remember the good memories we had shared? I was a fool.


    Nonetheless, she was a woman, and I could not let her wander all alone in Mumbai when I knew she did not know the place.


    "But," she weakly protested raising her head and looking at me with those teary eyes.


    I shook my head. For some reason, I did not wish to engage in any conversation with her. So, exchanging a couple of words, I sent her downstairs. Perhaps because I had recalled Karan''s words, or watched Innaya''s breakdown, that I started feeling down.


    I decided to order lunch from outside. Innaya''s condition did not look good. Troubling her would not be good, and I did not want to cook for Ayesha. In the end, I ordered our lunch from the nearby hotel.


    My feet automatically pulled me to the bedroom where I had left my wife. Staying alone meant remembering the past. My head has started to hurt because of all the stress clouding my mind. Before I realized, I was already standing before the closed wooden door. It was the only thing separating us physically. However, our hearts had been blocked because of the matter she was hiding.


    Innaya''s depressed, lonely figure was swirling in my mind. My fingers curled around the doorknob twitched while my mind debated to enter or not. I had hurt her with my words. Instead of retaliating, she chose to blame herself. She had hurt herself because of me.


    Could I face her when I had caused her so much pain? Bringing Karan in our conversation, I was just letting him win. I sighed as I pulled away from the door. I needed to get myself together and give her some time.


    Climbing down the stairs, I decided to wait for our lunch to get delivered. As I sat down, my mind went back to that conversion I had with him. I could not let Karan win. I could not let him create a distance in Innaya and my relationship. That day, I had called Innaya many times, but she had not received a single call of mine.


    I had packed my stuff straight away, but all the flights were delayed because of the weather. For two days, I was stranded there. I had talked with Innaya a day later, but things just took a turn to worse when she chose to hide things from me.


    It was that conversation that created this unseen boundary between us.

 Chapter 206 - Did he threaten you?

    |Eshan|


    ***


    (Flashback)


    ***


    "Are you alright?" I fired the first question when Innaya answered the call. The whole night I had kept trying in vain for her to answer. It was only in the afternoon of the second day that she had decided to put end to my misery.


    Sound of her shallow breathing came through the microphone of the mobile. I closed my eyes as I let my head fall back on the chair in exhaustion and relief.


    She was there.


    She was finally there.


    No matter if she was talking or not, the assurance her breathing sound brought was a great relief to my troubled heart.


    We could always talk things through. I didn''t want to sound interrogative on the phone, at least not at the moment I heard her voice.


    "Yes," her raspy voice answered.


    She had cried. It was clear from her hoarse voice. She fell silent after that. I did too. All the stress, tension, worry of the past hours was slowly fading away. We had things to discuss, but nothing was more important than her safety. Being able to get in touch with her was already the best thing.


    "Sorry¡­cough... cough... "Innaya broke down into coughing fit. I sprang up to pat her back only to realize I couldn''t. We were miles away from each other.


    I sighed regrettably, falling back on the bed. Rubbing my temples with my left hand, I waited for her to get better. I heard her moving around.


    "Are you not well? What happened?" I asked her when her coughing subdued.


    "I caught a cold¡­" Innaya answered.


    It was no wonder. She was out there in the open air for so long. And, she had fallen on the ground, unconscious. She would fall sick. I was not by her side to take care of her.


    "How''s the situation there? When will you return?" Innaya tried to change the topic, but the concern in her voice was unmistakable.


    I smiled sardonically. So much had happened, and she was still concerned for me.


    "Let''s switch to a video call. I want to see you," I abruptly said. I knew she was wounded. If she didn''t want to straight away tell things, I had my ways of knowing the truth. Taking a single glance at her I would know things.


    "No¡­" Innaya protested weakly.


    "Innaya, I want to see you. Don''t make any excuse now," I firmly pressed on, not giving her chance to refute I disconnected the call, and went for video call.


    Despite what had happened for the entire day and night, my lips broke into a smile at her attempt of hiding things the moment her face came before my eyes. Innaya had wrapped her head with the white towel as if she wanted me to believe that she had just taken a shower. I observed her face. Just in one day, her face had turned pale and lost all the color. Her eyes were swollen as if she had cried a lot.


    My wife had first time used make-up to cover up, but she forgot that her eyes would always give her away, and there were tears in her eyes. Did she cry hearing my voice, and that was why she coughed to hide her sobbing?


    "W-what are you looking at so intently?" Innaya nervously shifted in her place. She refused to make eye contact.


    "You tell me. I missed you, so I''m looking at my wife to fulfill the longing of my eyes. It seems as if you did not miss me at all," I vocalized my feelings.


    "Oh... What are you saying? I-I missed you too," she stammered.


    "Then why did you not call me? You didn''t even answer my calls. What were you busy with?" I probed.


    "I-I..." Innaya could not answer. She was at a loss of words. She could not lie. Maybe, she was trying to find excuses.


    "What are you hiding? What happened yesterday? Why was Karan with you?" I asked her directly. I had decided to take things easy, but watching her in that state just broke away my patience. Something had gone wrong, and I had re-watched that footage of her sitting listlessly in the park last night. I had nothing else to do when I could not get to her.


    Innaya gulped, her lips parted in shock as if she did not expect me to know about things. For a moment, I saw the hesitation in her eyes which soon turned to determination. Even without her saying anything, I knew she would not tell me. That determination of keeping things away from me was visible in her eyes. I sucked sharply.


    ''She would never share what happened today with you.''


    Karan''s words rang in my ears. Innaya''s silence was proving them right. I felt unexplainable pain rising in my chest.


    "Eshan, I don''t wish to talk about it. Nothing happened, I''m fine. I just accidentally had hurt myself, and Karan happened to help me," Innaya said after a long pause. I knew they were all lies. I had seen it with my own eyes. She chose to hide the truth from me.


    "You''ve learned to lie," I whispered brokenly.


    Why would she not share worries of her heart with me, but rather confide with Karan?


    Innaya''s face fell when she heard me.


    "Eshan, it''s not that I''m not willing to. Sometimes, we need to make some decisions while hardening our hearts because we know the consequence," Innaya replied with tears glistening her eyes. She bit her lips, averting her eyes from me.


    I caught the agonizing pain and fear in her eyes. I considered the possibility of her being threatened. At the time of her kidnapping, she had chosen to give herself away for saving me. She had willingly chosen to leave with those kidnappers knowing that they could harm her. She had done that just to save me from getting hurt.


    "Did he threaten you with something?" I asked.

 Chapter 207 - Running In Circles

    |Innaya|


    The faint line of worries clouded Eshan''s expressions. I stood at the end of the stairs as I looked at him, seated with his eyes closed on the sofa. His hair was in a mess as if he had ruffled them several times. He did that wherever he was stressed or worried. He would often run his hand through his hair. The sight of him slumped there did not feel good to my eyes. The exhaustion was visible on his face, and it hurt me, knowing I was the reason behind it.


    I looked around for his friend who had poured oil and lit a fire in our relationship. She seemed to be not present. It was a wonder though. She was missing the chance of having alone time with Eshan. Perhaps, she had left. That would be great though. It would be peaceful for us.


    After pondering for more than an hour in my room, thinking about what had happened in the past one month; I had left the bedroom when I had gathered myself together. I could not be hiding in the room, hoping everything gets solved on its own. After how Eshan was angered today, I did not know if this could go on.


    His patience was hanging on the thinnest thread. For the last month, he had been trying to stop himself from reacting in the worst way. At least that was what I would like to believe.


    The doorbell rang out almost making me jump in my place. Eshan''s eyes snapped open as if he was startled as well.


    "I''ll see who''s on the door," I said softly as I walked to the door.


    "I know," Eshan replied. "It must be the delivery guy. I have ordered our lunch from the restaurant." He stood up, pulling down his shirt, and took out his wallet from his pants pocket. He did not meet my eyes but kept his gaze elsewhere.


    That surprised me. "Why would you order for delivery? I was going to make our lunch now." I frowned.


    Ignoring my words, Eshan walked to the door. His back blocked my view. I could not see what was happening. His distant self bothered me to a great extent. Then again, could I expect him to behave normally as if nothing had happened?


    I shook my head, not wishing to think about what had happened. There was no end to it. Instead of ending up crying and regretting, I should focus on how I was going to deal with tomorrow''s situation.


    I moved to the kitchen when I saw Eshan bringing parcels inside as he locked the door. "Keep it on the dining table, I''ll serve," I simply said, trying to keep hurt out of my tone. He had preferred to order from outside and didn''t even bother to tell me. Did he not wish to see me?


    That thought made me halt in midway. I had not thought about it. The Eshan I knew would try and avoid me after he had lost his control. Did he not lock himself for those two months, because he thought he had hurt me?


    I turned on my feet abruptly, and it just happened that Eshan was behind me. I bumped head first to him. "Ah!" I shrieked because of the suddenness. I thought I would fall, but Eshan was there. How could he let me fall?


    His hand sn.a.k.e.d around my waist as he steadied me and himself.


    "Sorry, I-I¡­"


    "It''s okay. I should have watched where I was going."


    I stared at the man who left as if we were strangers. Steading me on my feet, he left by walking around me. My eyes narrowed again. He was the Eshan before this morning, who avoided me at every opportunity he got. Things were back to how they were for the whole month. How unfortunate!


    "Innaya," a woman''s voice called out. My eyes moved to the owner of the voice from the back of Eshan. Ayesha stood a couple of steps away. Oh! She had not left. If it was me, I would have left long ago. I would not know how to face the people I had hurt. She had some guts. Maybe, she was rather shameless.


    Her face looked pale considerably. Her eyes looked little swollen as if she was crying or was that makeup? She looked at me, but her eyes darted to behind me.


    "I''m sorry, Innaya. Please, forgive me," she apologized.


    She lacked sincerity in my opinion, for her eyes kept glancing behind me.


    "I wanted to leave, but Eshan stopped me. If you don''t like my presence


    I''ll leave now," she said lowering her voice.


    Eshan stopped her? Despite how angry he was at her? What was she asking my opinion for?


    "You''re Eshan''s friend and our guest. You''re welcome to stay here," I replied after considering her words. I knew what she was trying to do. She wanted to show me her place in Eshan''s life. How he did not ask her to leave and instead stopped her


    She forgot one thing. I knew Eshan better than her. I understood Eshan better than her. She mistook his intentions of letting her stay here. It was visible on her face. I did not care though. She could do whatever she wanted, for I had seen through her.


    "Come on, let''s have lunch." I changed the topic. She could waste her energy, how much she wanted. I would not waste my breath on her.


    I left her standing there. By the time I reached the dining table, Eshan had already taken out everything from the containers. He did not pay any attention to what was happening.


    "I have some work, so I''ll have my lunch in the study," Eshan announced, ladling soup in the bowl.


    At that moment, I noticed he had filled his plate and was going to run away again. Did I not know his habit? I was well aware of it.


    I just did not understand who was at fault and who was not. We were hurting each other, and we did not know why. Well, I knew. Was I not hurting him, so that the truth did not hurt him? For how long this could continue? His mother was going to arrive here tomorrow. How would things turn out then?


    This suffering we were going through, was it worth it?


    When Eshan brushed past me, I held onto his wrist. Eshan stiffened but did not withdraw his hand away. That was a relief. He raised his questioning gaze at me.


    "Have lunch with us. Ayesha would feel uncomfortable with me. And, what kind of hosts we would be? Instead of cooking for her, we''ve already ordered from outside," I half said, half requested bringing his attention to his friend and the conversation he had left incomplete outside.


    "Okay." He looked at me for a while and then nodded.

 Chapter 208 - Who told you to keep this vicious animal here?

    |Innaya|


    Lunch was a silent affair. Ayesha''s face had fallen the moment Eshan decided to stay after I said one word to him. She thought she could get some moments to sow discord in our relationship, but because of Eshan''s presence, her plans failed.


    It looked like she wanted to leave hurriedly after eating her fill. Her gaze told how she was yearning to converse with Eshan. However, for some reason, she stayed silent allowing me to observe Eshan.


    He would occasionally put food on my plate perhaps he was doing it for Ayesha''s sake. I did not mind though. His actions provided me some relief that he was not ignoring me completely. Even if he was putting a show before Ayesha, I felt good.


    "So, Ayesha, did you return to Mumbai for some work?" I randomly asked, picking the glass of water. I could not bear this silence and her secretive gaze at Eshan. Hence, I put her in the spotlight. This way, Eshan could also know what was happening.


    Ayesha smiled little bashfully once she met Eshan''s gaze. "Mom wants me to settle down." She played with her spoon, tucking few strands of her brown hair behind her ear.


    "Oh! You''re here to find a life partner? That''s good." I sat straight in my chair. Eshan looked at me a little inquisitively. Maybe, he did not expect me to take an interest in his friend''s life. He failed to see the interest his childhood friend was taking in our life.


    "Did you not like guys there? You''ve grown up in the US. I thought you would prefer a love marriage. Surprisingly, you''re into arranged marriages." I smiled innocently. She wanted to make me comfortable with her words. Two could play the game.


    Did she not say that Eshan and I looked like we had an arranged marriage? She had the nerve to say that she did not see the love between us. It was clear from her words that she came here for Eshan. She did not say it directly, but anyone could notice it. Just my husband did not.


    Ayesha''s smile faltered at my words. Take that! She opened her mouth to say something in her defense, but just then a voice called out for Eshan.


    "Eshan."


    My hand trembled, and I dropped the spoon in the plate at the voice. It came from the living room. How? Wasn''t she coming tomorrow? How did she appear today?


    That voice was way too familiar. It had been the reason of my nightmares for numerous nights.


    "Mom!" Eshan called out before he jumped from his seat and ran out, followed by Ayesha.


    My heart dropped in my chest. Eshan''s excitement broke whatever hope I had of settling our issue. This was the fear that had held me back from telling Eshan about what had happened.


    Though I had never seen what kind of bond Eshan shared with his mother, but just looking at this one brief moment, I realized how much he loves and values her. How could I tell Eshan everything and destroy the beautiful relationship they have?


    I could not.


    What was I supposed to do? Over the past month, I had realized that his mother would not say anything in front of Eshan. Because if she wanted, she could have asked for a divorce when Eshan was at home. She would not have done something shady behind his back. How did she get to grasp about Eshan''s schedule or what had happened between us? I did not understand that either.


    I had not found any solution to deal with this matter yet. I thought hiding this matter from Eshan would give me time to find a way to persuade his mother. I did not perceive that things would come to this point already.


    Could I run away and hide until she left?


    Would Eshan not suspect me then?


    "Woof, woof."


    I looked down when I heard Fortune''s barking. Moisture had pooled in my eyes at some point. Through the blurry vision, I found Fortune''s eyes gazing at me tenderly. It was as if he was saying everything would be fine.


    Though it was me deluding myself, I found some strength returning to my helpless heart. Fortune rubbed his head against my leg. I reached out to pet his head.


    I had someone by my side. I was not alone.


    "Is there a dog?" Eshan''s mother asked sharply.


    I recalled her dissatisfaction with Fortune from our early encounter. I could not help but want to hide Fortune away from her gaze. I did not know what was going out there as my mind was wandering elsewhere.


    With my heart palpating in fear, I willed myself to get up. If I did not leave, Eshan would come to find me. He would find it in a moment that something was not right. He would always perceive if there was something off with me. I just prayed that in his happiness of meeting his mother, he would overlook it.


    The two-minute distance from the dining room to the living room felt like I was walking on a path of nails. They pricked my conscious, my heart, and my emotions. It took a lot of effort for me to not break into tears. I had half a mind of running away, but then things would complicate further.


    "Aunty, I missed you so much. I have so much to tell you." Ayesha was excitedly chatting with Eshan''s mother.


    Eshan was hugging his mother as he sat just holding her. On the left side, Ayesha sat holding Eshan''s mother''s other arm. The scene looked so warm. They seemed a perfect family. If Eshan had not married me, then Ayesha would have been the ideal choice for Eshan. Eshan''s mother would have chosen her for being Eshan''s bride.


    I shook my head to get rid of that though. We were married, and Eshan had chosen to do so without any pressure. I would not fall in that cycle of what if''s. I steeled my heart. Moving further in the room, I wondered how I was going to face her. Fortune ran ahead, leaving my side before I could stop him.


    Facing Eshan''s mother, he started barking at her.


    "Woof¡­ woof¡­woof."


    His barking even scared me, least Eshan''s mother. Eshan stood up, trying to control Fortune.


    "Don''t Fortune."


    "What the hell!"


    "Hey, get away from me!"


    Many voices rang out, but Fortune did not pay any heed. He glared at Eshan''s mother and continued his barking.


    I sprinted when I saw the expression of disgust on Eshan''s mother''s face. She raised her silver gold plated clutch. At that moment, I knew if Fortune did not stop, she would hurt him.


    And, I was so right. The next moment, she hurled her clutch at Fortune. I crouched before Fortune, shielding him from getting hurt. That clutch landed heavily on my left shoulder. I gritted my teeth to bear the pain. The impact of the hit was quite powerful. I did not expect her to use that force. The stinging pain made me wonder if I was hit by the sharp edge of it.


    "Innaya," Eshan yelled.


    I stood up, putting Fortune behind me. I did not want him to get hit again. I would not allow it. It was rather strange though. The bond I developed with him was surprising me day by day. I never thought I would be willing to put myself in the face of danger for any dog¡­ ever.


    However, things changed. And, I kind of liked this new change. If this meant I could have Fortune love me the way he did, then I did not mind the new change.


    "I''m okay. I''ll take Fortune in the garden," I replied to Eshan when he came to stand by me, looking at me concernedly.


    Technically I should be touching her feet and taking blessing as it would be the first time I had met her. Of course, it was for Eshan''s sake as he did not know about the meeting I had with his mother a month ago. But, I decided to first bring Fortune out.


    "Stop right there," Eshan''s mother yelled out.


    I stiffened. She would not create drama in front of Eshan, would she? I turned around, making sure that Fortune stayed behind.


    "Mom, how could you hit Fortune? See what you did, Innaya got hurt because of you," Eshan spoke little harshly.


    ''I''ve got way more hurt because of her, Eshan.'' I wanted to say that, but I held back.


    "You stay out of it. Who told you to keep this vicious animal here?" His mother yelled.


    Why did I feel that she was referring to me? I contemplated the possibility of her being upfront and behaving the way she did that day now. Would she let Eshan know? If she really wanted me out of Eshan''s life, then she would definitely say everything clearly. I nervously looked at Eshan. Would he be able to handle it?


    I did not want Eshan to be in the dilemma where he had to chose between his mother and his wife. Any decision he made would make him miserable. I did not want him to suffer, but at the same time, I did not know how to handle the situation.

 Chapter 209 - Will you be satisfied only after destroying his life?

    |Innaya|


    "Mom, what''s wrong with you? Fortune is not any vicious animal. I know you don''t like dogs, but that doesn''t mean you can behave this way. See what you did. You''ve hurt Innaya," Eshan admonished his mother.


    His mother scoffed. She glared at Fortune, and that made me hide him more behind me. The pain in my back reminded me of what she could do to Fortune if she wanted. I would never let her hurt Fortune. She could hurt me if she wished, but not Fortune.


    "What are you still doing here?" Eshan''s mother narrowed her eyes at me.


    Oh no! This was bad. I slightly flinched when her angry gaze looked at me. I did not expect her to burst out before Eshan. Was she going to spill the truth of that day?


    "Mom, stop kidding alright. If not here, where would you find my wife?" Eshan wrapped his arm around my shoulder as he pulled me to his side. I did not expect him to behave normally after the running he was doing from the afternoon. Perhaps, he did not want his mother to find our differences. Sadly, he did not know that his mother was the reason behind the differences in our lives.


    Should I feel thankful for his warmth? I had rather pressing matters that needed my rapt attention. For a moment, I thought of being selfish. I wanted her to vocalize her intentions for once and all. That way I could be relieved of the guilt of hiding things from Eshan. However, one glance at the man beside me, and knew I had to stop his mother.


    I did not even want to call her mother-in-law anymore. I still remembered how she had berated me last time. I did not want to risk having her lose her temper which she was on the verge of losing.


    "I-I think you should take a rest," I said, trying to dissolve the tension in the air.


    "Did you not understand what I asked? What are you still doing here?" Eshan''s mother did not pay any heed to what Eshan or I said.


    "Mom, what''s wrong with you?" Eshan asked. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Why would he not be confused? He had no idea why his mother would behave in such a manner with his wife. So, for any normal man being put in such a situation would certainly puzzle him. His reaction was within my expectations.


    Eshan left my shoulders and strode to his mother. I could see he was getting angry as well with the way his mother looked and behaved with me.


    "Where are the papers?" She ignored Eshan and crossed her arms across her chest.


    My heart dropped. Her sentence proved that she did not care for Eshan''s emotions. Maybe, in her opinion she was right. For any mother, watching her son in pain would be the deciding moment. I did not know if she was aware of our circ.u.mstances at that time. If she was not, then it was expected from any mother. Would a mother let her son be with a woman who had hurt her son?


    From her perspective, I was the culprit. So, her anger was justified. Her behavior was not. She had no right of throwing me out of the house behind her son''s back. She had no right to insult me. She had no right of pointing her fingers at my character. We were civilized people, and she could have behaved like one. Instead blinded by her love for her son and their prestige she decided to forsake humanity.


    "I-I think there is some m-misunderstanding," I stammered. My emotions were faltering. The fear that she would hurt Eshan made me worried.


    "Shut up!"


    I flinched at her sudden yell.


    "Mom? What''s going on here?" Eshan snapped. "What paper? Why are you talking this way with Innaya?"


    "Aunty, what''s wrong?" Ayesha walked up to Eshan''s mother and held her arm rather intimately. "You should calm down. We can talk things through. If you are displeased with Innaya for some reason, you should not get angry like this. It will affect your health. Please, calm down."


    "See, this is the difference. Do you see this Eshan?" His mother pointed her finger first at Ayesha and then at me. Ayesha blushed slightly. The woman did not care about the situation but wanted to find her profit. Ridiculous!


    If I said, her words did not hurt, then I would be lying. I bit my lip, lowering my head.


    Wasn''t she right? There was a huge difference between Ayesha and me.


    "Mom!"


    "Yeah, you only know how to stop me. What do you see in her? Tell me. What the hell do you see in her that you''re ready to go against your family? Huh?" She yelled.


    My eyes widened. Go against family? I did not know Eshan''s family was against our marriage. I looked at Eshan with disbelief.


    "MOM! Stop it already. We''ve had our discussion. This is already in the past. Why are you bringing this up now?" Eshan looked solemn.


    He refused to look at me.


    "We had our discussion? Why don''t I recall you telling me how she hurt you? Why don''t I recall you telling me about where were you for the two months? Why don''t I recall you telling me about how this woman cheated on you here in this house? Tell me, why you hid the fact that she is a madwoman? Huh? Tell me, why don''t I recall?" Eshan''s mother glared me, pouring all her accusations.


    "MOM!" Eshan roared. His mother did not flinch but directed her anger at me.


    "Did I not ask you to leave my son alone? Will you be satisfied only after destroying his life? "


    "Aunty, what are you saying? Innaya is cheating on Eshan?" Ayesha loudly gasped, worsening the situation more.


    I closed my eyes in pain. I had heard those accusations before, but still, they hurt. Why would she not let me explain before assuming things, and pointing fingers at my character?


    I shook my head.


    "Are you still going to stay silent now?" Eshan''s voice laced with pain sounded from beside me. I looked at him hearing his pain-filled voice.


    "Is this what you have been hiding from me?"


    Eshan asked, but I knew he had figured it out. The brown orbs of his told his turmoil and his inner conflict. I knew how hard it was for him. One side was his mother and on another me.


    I never wanted him to be in this situation.


    I could not answer him. Everything was out in the open, was there any need to say anything? I could see the tears gathering in his eyes.


    "She has been hiding many things from you. She has been fooling you from the start. She ruined your life, can''t you see?" Eshan''s mother pulled at his arm, making him face her.


    Her expressions turned to that of little warmth, exactly opposite of the glare she had been directing at me.

 Chapter 210 - What about the child in her stomach?

    |Innaya|


    "Are you still going to stay silent?" Eshan left his mother''s hold and came to my side. Holding my forearm, he made me face him. I refused to meet his gaze. I would rather prefer running away from this situation than staying.


    It might be cowardness in some people''s opinion, but for me, this was the only way to protect myself. That year I had spent with my father without my mother by my side had taught me many things. Silence, was one of the many things I had learned.


    I had no answers to his questions and no explanation for his mother''s. It would be better if they solved this issue. Could I pretend this did not involve me at all?


    Eshan held my chin, raising my face upward to face him, he probed further. His fingers were cold on my skin, but the fire in his eyes had the opposite effect on my heart. "I''m asking you something?" Eshan raised his voice.


    I shivered at the unconcealed rage in his gaze. He was furious. "I-I¡­ don''t¡­"''be angry.'' I wanted to say that, but Eshan''s mother did not give me any chance.


    She scoffed, glaring daggers at me. "What would she tell you? I''ll show you her shameless deeds." She pushed me away from Eshan, and bending down, picked up her clutch. Opening it, she took out a stack of photos. "Here, see this. Look clearly, how she has been cheating on you all along." She placed those photos in Eshan''s hands.


    Eshan did not even glance at them. His eyes were suddenly calm as he looked at the way his mother was behaving. His gaze was too calm as if a storm was brewing, and this calmness was before it. Who that storm would harm was yet to be determined. I had a very bad feeling about it.


    He had decided something. What? I had no idea. His eyes held the determination along with unmasked hurt.


    I clenched my fist by my side. I was never good at handling many people. Angry people who would not give me a chance to explain were the hardest for me to manage. What was I supposed to do?


    What pictures she was talking about? I never had taken photos with someone, which could be categorized as immoral. And, I was never in that sort of situation which could be considered indecent. Part of me wanted to take a look at those photos so that I could grasp the situation more clearly.


    Alas! My hands were frozen by my side. Eshan''s silence was frightening me. He should not do something which he would regret all his life.


    "How could you Innya? If you were not happy in this marriage, you should have left him. How could you betray Eshan like this?" Ayesha jumped in the conversation which had nothing to do with her.


    Her intrusion was like petrol in the current explosive situation. Eshan''s anger got triggered because of her. She opened her mouth, wishing to say something. However, Eshan''s one glare directly sealed her mouth. She hurriedly hid behind Eshan''s mother, seeking shelter from her.


    "Did you not learn your lesson? Keep your mouth shut. You wanted to leave, right? Pack your stuff and leave. Stay out of our family matters." Eshan replied to Ayesha in a rather threatening manner.


    Eshan''s mother protected Ayesha behind her. "Don''t talk to her in that manner. She only has your well-being in her mind. If you have anything, then say to her." His mother turned to me. Sharp nail of her index finger painted in the blood-red color was pointed at me.


    Helplessly, I could only stare at her. Could she not see the change in her son''s emotions? Maybe she was too blinded by her anger at me.


    "Take a look at those photos and then decide. How could you let yourself fooled by this vixen, Eshan? I had repeatedly told you. You made the wrong decision, son. But, that''s okay. It''s not that late either," she said to him.


    ''Not late?'' I asked in my mind. If I had a child with Eshan, or I was pregnant, would she have still said the same thing? Maybe, at that point, she would have simply said that Eshan was not that child''s father. I shuddered, imagining that situation. What would have I done if she had done that?


    "Not late?" Eshan clasped his hands behind his back. His eyes suddenly turned cold. Corner of his mouth curved in a dangerous smirk. His mother did not take a notice of it though.


    She continued. "Yes, not late. Here, sign on this and end this sham of a marriage." She then placed the divorce papers in Eshan''s hands. How many copies had she made?


    I closed my eyes. Last one month I had tried my hardest to keep this thing away from Eshan. I did not know how to handle it. Naively, I had thought that if ignored it, nothing would happen. Perhaps I would find a way to appease his mother. The present situation proved how foolish I was.


    Eshan looked at those papers in his hands along with those photos.


    "Who gave you these photos?" He threw those photos on the ground without taking even a single look at them. All the while, his eyes were fixed at me.


    Under the constant stare of his, I felt guilty as if I had committed a crime. Had I? I could not even face him. All the sufferings, all the distance between us, all those sleepless nights, those nightmares, those tears¡­ in the end, it boiled down to this moment. I could only look helplessly at him.


    In the end, I had failed to solve the matter before it could reach him. Behind the mask of silence, I could see how he was breaking. Biting my lip, I considered the possibility of holding him. The fact that he did not even glance at those photos showed how much he trusted me.


    Back then just catching that unfortunate moment of him holding that interior designer had forced that outburst from me. I had just reached the conclusion of him cheating on me without any solid evidence. Here his mother had produced the evidence.


    Any other man at his place would have believed his mother, immediately signing those papers and ending everything. Tears rolled down from my eyes.


    "That''s not important, son. Whosoever it is, does it matter? We got to know about her true colors. And, that''s more important. If not for those photos, how could I have realized how she was ruining your life?  Just sign on these papers and ask her to leave your life. Everything will be fine, once we get rid of her." His mother refused to answer him, diverting the topic.


    "What about the child in her stomach?" Eshan asked, folding his hands across his chest.

 Chapter 211 - Abort That Child

    |Innaya|


    "WHAT? She''s pregnant?"


    Two shouts rang out. I wanted to shout as well. Eshan nodded seriously. Ayesha held onto his mother''s arm. They both exchanged glances.


    How could Eshan lie with that straight face? His single lie forced those two women to look at me with utter disgust. I wanted to shrink away.


    My hand went to my stomach, subconsciously. There was no life in it, yet my instinct kicked in. Was this what they called maternal instinct?


    Eshan''s mother was shocked, and Ayesha had received the same shock as well. Perhaps, my action gave them the wrong impression. Eshan did not clear it out for them. Instead, he chose to pull me by his side and away from the reach of those two women.


    Fortune followed behind as if he was guarding me. His head would occasionally rub against my thigh as if he wanted to tell me that he was there.


    Eshan''s mother recovered from her shock before she said, "Who knows, it might not be yours."


    "Yes, it definitely is not yours." Ayesha echoed his mother. She sharply glanced at me, nodding to herself.


    Of course, it wasn''t his. It was not mine either. There was no child, what were they fighting for? I did not understand Eshan''s intentions. What was he trying to do? Just earlier, I had thought about the possibility of me carrying a child, and what would have happened. Eshan had worded it before them.


    Why did he do that?


    I failed to understand.


    I knew what would follow after his confession though. His mother would not yield. Rather matters were going to get more complicated.


    Why Eshan wasn''t being swift as he always was, ending the matter once and for all?


    "I''m telling you. She''s pregnant with my child," Eshan replied, glaring at Ayesha. She cowered under his gaze, backing further away, trying to minimize her presence. I wanted to back away as well, but I knew Eshan would not let me.


    I could feel my anxiety rising. All this stress was not helping me to keep the demons of a panic attack from emerging. If I suffered from a panic attack now, his mother would create a mountain out of it. She would not watch silently. She already considered me a madwoman. My panic attack would only firm her wrong beliefs. Was there really no way to handle this situation?


    Eshan faced his mother, whose face was changing as she thought about the sudden news she had not expected. The wheels in her head were running, trying to find a way out of the situation. I could see it.


    "Now, how are you going to handle it? It''s late now. Don''t you think so?" Eshan clearly taunted, but his mother took his words in opposite meaning. She thought Eshan was feeling trapped.


    "How far is the pregnancy?" She inquired.


    "Four weeks," Eshan answered.


    "YOU¡­" She exploded right away. Pointing her index finger at me again, she said furiously, "Great. I didn''t know that you were so calculative. You planned it out very well. Didn''t you? One month ago, I gave those divorce papers to you. You felt threatened. You knew Eshan would definitely leave a loose woman like you. So you seduced my son. What did you think? You can tie down my son with that child? Don''t even think about it. I won''t let it happen."


    After warning me, her focus shifted to Eshan. She breathed deeply. "See, Eshan. This is how she is. Calculative, scheming¡­ Don''t worry. I won''t let her succeed."


    Her face had turned red due to her anger. She stopped to take deep breaths. She was truly angered.


    Her words were too hurtful for me to even consider her age, and what anger would do to her. Did she think how her words and actions would not affect me? Loose woman? Calculative? Scheming? What wrong did I do that she was calling me such names? Each worse than previous.


    My tears fell endlessly. I did not wish to waste my tears on her, but I could not stop my aching heart from reacting. It truly was too painful to bear.


    She opened her purse again, and this time took out something like the checkbook. She threw it at my feet. I almost jumped away. "You¡­ Take any amount of money you want and get out of my Eshan''s life. Abort that child. Who knows if it''s really Eshan''s or not? I won''t let you continue leeching off my son. You better not harbor those ill intentions of sticking to him. And, who really knows, who''s the father." She snarled like an injured animal.


    I was so right. My early thoughts came true. She could not even stop for a moment to solve things. She could not wait to throw me out of Eshan''s life as if my very presence was like a curse for him. I balled my fist by my side. When she called names to the child which was not even created, I wanted to rebuke her.


    That feeling was so intense. For a moment, I wanted to let it loose. But, then Eshan was silent. How could I say anything then? How could she be so inhuman? Being a woman herself, how could she harbor such sickening thoughts for another woman?


    I willed myself to stand upright there despite my wobbly legs.


    She had fallen so low in my eyes. Was that how the woman from high society behaved? I had heard of many cases of domestic abuse where mother-in-law''s tortured their daughter-in-law''s. Never had I thought I would face the verbal abuse and character assassination by my in-laws,


    "Why do you think it isn''t mine?" Eshan asked slowly. I raised my eyes at him. His face held no expression. It was back to the mask of coldness. This cold Eshan was unfamiliar to me. I stretched my trembling hand and held his wrist.


    Eshan lowered his head. For a moment, his gaze lingered on my hand before he peeled my fingers away from his skin, leaving my fingers grasping on the empty space. At that moment, there was a feeling of emptiness in my heart as if something had broken in me.


    "The proof is lying before your eyes. Can''t you see?" His mother pointed at the photos scattered on the marble floor.


    "Who''s that man?" Eshan fired the question, folding his arms across his chest.


    "That friend of yours. Arjun. A-and he isn''t the only one. There''s that another man, Karan. Any one of them could be the father. Perhaps, She does not even know it herself," his mother said.


    I almost fell on the floor as my legs went soft. Eshan reacted more swiftly. His hand sn.a.k.e.d around my waist, and he held me by his side.


    Eshan''s mother strode forward. She tugged at Eshan''s other hand. "Don''t touch her." Her nose wrinkled, and she looked down at me with those narrow eyes. "Who knows how dirty-"

 Chapter 212 - She has brainwashed you very well

    |Innaya|


    I closed my eyes. I wished I could do the same to my ears. Her venomous words and poisonous stare made it hard for me. If not for Eshan''s hold, I did not know how to hold myself together. Why was it happening to me? I did not do any wrong, then why things always went bad in my life?


    Tears rolled down from my eyes, drenching my face. I truly wished for everything to end.


    Suddenly, his hold around my waist slackened, and the next moment he pushed me on the chair beside him. Stunned, it took me some time to figure out that he had left me. Clenching my dress tightly in my fists, I hoped that it was nothing but a nightmare.


    "Who are you?" Eshan asked. His tone had changed to one of that disbelief. Lifting my head, I saw he was looking at his mother as if she was some stranger.


    His mother frowned. "Eshan, what''s wrong? I''m your mother. I know it''s hard to take in, but son, this is the truth. She has been deceiving you. She isn''t like what you thought her to be." She tried to hold Eshan, but he moved out of her reach.


    "Are you seriously my mother? Why don''t I recognize you?" Eshan asked as he shook his head.


    "Eshan¡­ stop talking nonsense." His mother narrowed her eyes. She sensed a change in Eshan''s emotions. She finally grasped the bubbling anger of Eshan.


    "I''m talking nonsense? Are you listening to yourself? When did you become like this? So toxic¡­" Eshan moved his right hand in her direction, gesturing from top to bottom, not finding a word to express himself.


    "Eshan¡ª"


    "Don''t. Don''t you take my name. I would rather be orphan than having you as my mother," Eshan shook his head. I could feel his disappointment.


    His anger had finally reached the point of no return. He was rather disappointed with his mother. His eyes depicted his pain as he looked at his mother with displeasure.


    Eshan''s mother staggered back in shock. For any mother to hear such words from her child would be quite painfully shocking. She seemed to have received a blow as she could not get any word out of her mouth. Her lips moved several times, but she was not able to say anything.


    Ayesha stepped up and held her dear aunty. "Eshan, she''s your mother. You can''t talk to her like this. For whom?" She turned her gaze full of contempt to me. "This girl. You can''t turn a blind eye to this just because you feel infatuated by her," she said.


    "Infatuated? I LOVE HER." Eshan yelled, pointing a figure at her. "Do you get that?"


    Even in this situation, I could not help but feel warmth of his love. Despite everything, he was standing by my side. How did I keep away from him for last month because of other people? I was the one who always spoiled our relationship because of my insecurities. I could only lower my head shamefully. For us, he did not even flinch and went against his mother. I was so worthless that I could not even get a word out in my defense.


    I had let them trampled all over me. Where was the girl who had learned self-defense so that she could never be helpless? Where had all the efforts of all these years had gone? I had worked hard on myself so that people could not bully me like my father. Where had it all gone?


    "Son, that''s not love. Once you get divorced and separate from her you''ll understand that it''s not love. You''re staying together for the last six months. So, it''s only natural for you to feel that way. We even develop feelings for dogs after keeping them around us. That doesn''t mean we can''t live without them." His mother recovered from her shock. She patted Ayesha''s hand and chose to protect the girl from Eshan''s wrath.


    Eshan''s anger-filled eyes turned to his mother before he shook his head. "I don''t want to talk to you. I don''t recognize you anymore."


    "Don''t talk nonsense. What''s the meaning of this? I''m doing this for your own good. Just end it. I''ll find a good girl for you with whom you can spend the rest of your life happily," his mother said as if she was talking about weather.


    She had a nerve of saying it on my face. For her, I did not exist as she planned for her son''s future wife before his present wife.


    "Is that so? You''ve come prepared, I see. Since when did you start planning this? How did I not notice it? Judging from the looks of it, I find you more calculative and ruthless," Eshan replied coldly.


    His mother snorted. She then glared at him. "Am I being calculative? Okay then. You don''t understand the language of love. I''ll show you what ruthlessness is. If you don''t leave this woman, I''ll disown you. I dare not recognize son like you anymore if you chose to stand by this vixen''s side," she said with finality as she crossed her hands across her chest.


    Both mother and son had a similar stubborn personality. I could see from where Eshan had learned his decisiveness. But, how could there be such a huge difference in their manners?


    Eshan chuckled humorlessly. "Huh? You''ll disown me? I don''t recognize you as my mother. From this day onwards, we have nothing to do with you. Leave us alone."


    "Y-you¡­ Good, good. She has brainwashed you very well. That''s why you didn''t recall that you have a family. After marriage, I now see how she kept control over you. Do you really want to be her puppet?"


    He turned his back on them as he pointed a finger at the door. He refused to waste any more words on them.


    I met his mother''s eyes. She looked at Eshan''s back with utter disbelief. For a while, she just stayed like that. Slowly, she turned her head in my direction. I could see, she was going to lash out on me for she had no other way of taking out her anger.


    "See what you did to us. Aren''t you happy? Drop this act. You''ve snatched my son from me. Rejoice, be happy. Why shed the crocodile tears?" She harshly spoke.


    I shivered under her angry gaze. It reminded me of my father''s wrath. I desperately wanted them to leave.


    "Don''t drag her in between. This has nothing to do with her. I''m truly disappointed in you. Leave. Out of respect for giving birth to me, I''m not saying anything to you. But, my tolerance has a limit. Don''t test it," Eshan firmly declared.


    Just as the situation had escalated to the tense atmosphere, a voice intervened from the outside. Moving my gaze in the direction of the door, I found my breath hitching in my throat.


    "Is this the way to talk to your mother?"

 Chapter 213 - N.a.k.e.d Photographs

    |Innaya|


    That woman was back again. I did not know her identity, but watching her strutting inside as if she owned our house was enough to scare me. She haughtily entered carrying the evil intentions with herself.


    Ayesha''s eyes twinkled with excitement before she rushed to that woman. "Mom." She threw herself at that woman''s arms, complaining like a child who had been wronged, "Eshan is blaming Aunty when his wife is at fault. He''s cutting his relationship with aunty because of this s***."


    Mom? She was Ayesha''s mother. She should be in states right now, how could she be here? Moreover, how she had come with Eshan''s mother that day?


    S***? Did Ayesha dare to degrade me like this?


    I had enough. I could not say anything to Eshan''s mother, but this girl¡ª she played dirty. I stood up, quivering as I did so. I moved one step at a time.


    Coming before mother and daughter pair, I did something which I did not expect myself.


    Slap.


    A sound of palm connecting with the human flesh echoed in our living room.


    I looked at Ayesha with a challenging look, though I might not look that intimidating with my current state of the sorry figure. My palm felt numb, but I felt quite good after landing a crisp slap at her face. I had my eyes fixed on Ayesha''s shock filled eyes. She had not expected that I would slap her.


    I could tolerate Eshan''s mother''s words for she was related to Eshan. But, I did not need to even think for this girl. I had been tolerant for so long because I thought she was his friend. However, after realizing her relationship with the woman, I knew she was nothing but a vile snake in a disguise.


    She knew everything.


    She knew about our marriage, yet she feigned surprise.


    It was all an act. She played her character very well. She wasn''t here to meet her childhood friend. Rather she was here to snatch him away. I could not stand her hypocrisy. What a double face woman or she had any face at all?


    "How dare you slap my daughter? I''ll make you pay for it," her mother roared. She raised her hand, wishing to pay me back.


    At that moment, I was pulled back into a warm chest. "I dare you to try," Eshan spoke through gritted teeth. He retreated a couple of steps, and again pushed me in the chair.


    What was with him and the chair? Maybe, it was the presence of Ayesha''s mom or my limit of taking things was crossed, but I did not cry anymore. I did not want these two women to take satisfaction in hurting me. I would not give them a chance. All these days, I had kept quiet because I wanted to save Eshan from hurt, but he now knew everything. Why should I keep quiet now?


    That was the reason; I dared to lay hand on that girl when she degraded me with that word.


    "Mom!" Ayesha aggrievedly cried, holding the side of her face. That must have hurt her for I did not hold back. I had used all the force and because of what had happened earlier all my emotions transformed into the rage and used it to show her what I could do if wanted.


    Ayesha''s mother patted her back. "Don''t worry Sha¡­ I''ll make sure that she pays for laying a hand on you." She glared at me and Eshan.


    "You three. Get out of my house, now. Otherwise, I don''t mind calling security," Eshan said pointing at the door. He stood before me, so he blocked most of my view. I could not see his mother. Only half side of Ayesha''s mother was visible to me.


    Ayesha''s mother chuckled. "Security? Did your security not inform you about the steamy affair your wife was having behind your back? Did they not inform you about how easily she changed guys? You sure have some tolerance for a cheap woman like her¡­" she snorted.


    "What happened to your obedient son, Prerna? I told you, didn''t I? She is a witch; she sure knows how to cast her black magic." She turned her attention to Eshan''s mother.


    Exactly what wrong did I do to mother and daughter that they were hell-bent on accusing me?


    "If I hear you speak another word for my wife, I swear I''ll forget all my manners. I don''t have any relationship with you, so I don''t have to watch my actions," Eshan retorted.


    "Dare to threaten me? Okay, let''s see if you can still be so arrogant after seeing this. Why don''t you take a look at these first." She had something in her hand that looked like an enlarged photo. Did she also have something that could prove my non-existent affair?


    Eshan stiffened immediately. What was it?


    Eshan''s strange behavior startled me. When his mother showed him photos he had not bothered to even glance at them. Then why was he suddenly troubled?


    Ayesha''s mother turned her attention to me as she revealed that landscape size photo to my eyes.


    "Shocked, are we? That''s your wife betraying you. I''ve more of them with me. Enough of this. I don''t have time to waste of a person like you, who can''t even acknowledge his mother. Prerna, let me teach him manners for you," Ayesha''s mother shifted the topic.


    I could not even react as the face of that woman in the photo was swirling before my eyes. The nude body of the woman in an extremely scandalous posture bathing under the showerhead would put any normal person to shame. What was surprising? That the woman in that photo was no one but me.


    My breath left my body as I turned my eyes to my husband. What would be his reaction? I did not know how they got my n.a.k.e.d photos with them? Had they installed cameras in our house?


    Horrified, I felt a shiver running through my spine.


    "You dared to hit my daughter, do you think I can''t handle a cheap woman like you? You overestimated yourself." She laughed as if I was some sort of joke in her eyes.


    Her cackling laughter caused goosebumps to appear on my body.


    "What would happen if I put this on the internet? Would you still have a face left?" She asked Eshan.


    By now, all the courage I had summoned left my body, vanishing in the air without any trace. If those photos were to be leaked, my life would be over. Similarly, Eshan''s would be too. I would be dragging him down with myself. Tears finally fell from my eyes as I watched the deafening silence from Eshan.


    Which man would be happy to see such kind of photos of his wife? We still had not reached that level where we had seen each other in our natural form- without the safety and privacy of clothes to hide our modesty. And, now the photos of his wife- in such form, were thrown on his face.


    How would any man bear such kind of humiliation and provocation?

 Chapter 214 - Trust Me...

    |Innaya|


    I closed my eyes as tears of humiliation fell from them endlessly. My nails dug deep in my palms as the overwhelming feeling of terror and losing everything washed over me.


    Ayesha''s mother had that kind of photos in her hand. The photos in her hands that have already destroyed my life, would only tarnish my reputation. That was the highest level of humiliation and degradation anyone could ever face.


    They were inhumane, heartless, and vicious. Tarnishing my reputation with the photos of my non-existent affair was not enough for them that they went to this length. Did they not wish for me to live?


    How did I not realize? I was not safe in my house.


    What Eshan must be thinking about me? I had lost all my face. I was not worthy of him anymore. Once those photos got out there on the internet, everything would be over for me. How could I drag Eshan''s reputation in the mud?


    They won with this sickening scheme.


    I was left with no other option. I had to leave Eshan for his own good.


    It seemed as if God wanted to punish me for my crimes in my past life. Happiness was never written in my life. With shaking legs, I pulled myself up with great difficulty. At the moment, my mind was blank. That image swirled in my head, making me breathless.


    I needed to leave. I wanted to run. Just as I stood up, my tears obstructed my vision, and I did not know where I turned to. A wave of dizziness hit me. I twisted my ankle twisted, and I fell over.


    I did not scream. I did not make a sound. Maybe, my head would receive a blow once I fall down, and I could forget the whole incident. I stopped resisting and wished I could somehow end everything with this.


    However, a pair of warm hands held my shoulders, breaking my fall.


    Why? Let me. Why he had to hold me? He should just leave me on my own.


    I could not face him¡­ How could I?


    "I-I¡­" Words refused to come out of my mouth, and I ended up sobbing. My whole body trembled. What was I supposed to do?


    I heard him sigh before he pulled me to his chest, hiding me entirely in his embrace. At this time, his action made me feel guiltier for ruining his life because of me. Had he not married me, nothing would have gone wrong in his life. My hands remained by my side. How could I hold him? He would become filthy because of my touch. I had no more right to destroy him.


    His mother was right. I would only disgrace him before the world. He was better off without me.


    I struggled to get away from him. I had to leave. No, I could not ruin him anymore¡­ I had to leave.


    "Shh¡­ calm down. Trust me," he whispered in my ear, restraining all my efforts.


    Trust him? I did not believe myself. I wished to cry out louder. How could


    despite being women themselves, they stoop to such level?


    "It''s fake, we don''t have any hidden camera in our house. Trust me," Eshan again whispered in my ear, rubbing my back, squeezing my shoulder.


    Fake? Stunned, I forgot to cry. I stiffened, and my mind repeated his words on a loop. As if my sinking body unexpectedly found the shore, I felt as if I was being saved. I never doubted Eshan''s words. He would never lie to me. I recollected that image once again in my head, and I now understood why he was so sure.


    I had only concentrated on the face of the woman in the picture, but I forgot to notice the most important detail. The scar on the back¡­ It was not there. How could those pictures be mine? They weren''t¡­


    "You still want to hold onto such a characterless woman? You sure are magnanimous," Ayesha''s mother interrupted, bringing me back to the present situation.


    Eshan pressed my head in his chest, protecting me from those malicious women. I did not mind being in his arms once I realized that things were not simple anymore. This conspiracy ran deeper than I had thought.


    I left Eshan to handle things. Slowly, I wrapped my arms around his waist all the way to his back, holding him tightly. He was the pillar of the strength on which I could lean upon.


    "Evading someone''s privacy, spying, threatening, cyberbullying, character assassination¡ª do you know how many years you''ll spend behind the bars?" Eshan asked.


    They should understand the consequences of their actions. It was not a fit of simple jealousy anymore, rather it was the deep plot. In the eyes of law, they were criminals. They should get punished for their crimes.


    "Prerna, how did you teach your son? He can''t even differentiate what''s good for him. What a waste of your efforts and energy for all the years," Ayesha''s mother spat distastefully. "He wants to frighten me. Discipline him well, otherwise don''t blame me for taking actions."


    How could someone be so thick-skinned? She lied blatantly, slandered me, almost destroyed my life, and yet she acted righteously. Any other man would have by now fallen in their traps. Eshan did not.


    Ayesha jumped in, giving her unrequired opinion. "Eshan, why are you so stubborn? You''ve clearly seen her true face, why don''t you believe us? Mom and aunty are doing this for your own good."


    "Disgusting. Do you know any shame? Women like you are the reason that females in our society suffer," Eshan snapped at them.


    "You should lecture your wife. She doesn''t know how to keep her legs closed," she replied. It looked like she got her courage back because of her mother''s presence. She seemed to have forgotten the slap. I didn''t mind to remind her again. I was grateful that I could not see them. They should just get out of our house.


    They wanted to break my home, break my marriage. I had never seen such disgusting people after my father. They surpassed my father in cruelty.


    "Really? You think you can bring photoshopped images here and break my home?" Eshan asked.


    "Just because you have decided to turn a blind eye to the truth, doesn''t change the truth," Ayesha''s mother said.


    I could feel Eshan''s rage. "Right. I''ll show you the consequence of messing with my bottom line. Inspector, arrest them," Eshan called out loudly.


    Inspector?


    When did he call for the inspector?


    What would happen if others see those photos?


    We knew that they were photoshopped, others would not. They would only assume that the photos were real.


    No.


    I could not let them see.


    ***


    ***


    What we see is not always right


    What we hear is not always the truth


    Sometimes, we need to trust our instincts


    And, listen to the voice of our heart in the times of darkness


    Only then we can see the truth!

 Chapter 215 - I just went away for a couple of days, and you won’t even look at me.

    |Innaya|


    I raised my head as my body was held by Eshan, tightly, limiting my movements. I had to get those photos before those policemen saw them. The face on them was mine; I could not let them see it. It would only add to my humiliation.


    Meeting Eshan''s calm eyes, I wondered why he did not get my point. He saw through their schemes, he took actions, but then why did not he understand such an important thing? He would have to face the criticism and humiliation of the world. He would be ashamed before those men. How could he not take action of destroying them?


    Moisture pooled in my eyes. Feeling helpless, I brought my hands in-between us to push him. Before those men saw those photos, I had to destroy them.


    "Shh..." Eshan wiped my face.


    "Those photos... destroy, I need to destroy it..." I stammered. The shock of other people seeing those photos was enough to lose my bearings. So much had transpired in the last hour, that I could feel myself being emotionally drained.


    "Relax. They need those photos. We can''t destroy evidence," Eshan said calmly. His eyes held the storm, but there was confidence in his body language. He was certain that nothing would go wrong.


    Evidence? Oh, he was right. Those photos were evidence, but still, I did not want people to see it. I panicked and my actions became frantic.


    "No¡­ They¡­" I shook my head rapidly.


    Eshan cupped my head firmly. "It''s okay. They all are female officers."


    "I''ve asked for female officers. Don''t worry, everything''s gonna be fine," he repeated looking earnestly in my eyes. "Bear it for a little longer..."


    "The hell. You can''t arrest us. We haven''t done anything," Ayesha''s mother yelled as she protested.


    Coming back to the present with her voice, I nodded at Eshan. We had more pressing matters in hand. I turned around giving him a reassuring look. Though I was nervous, I wanted to see them receiving their punishment.


    They would know what it meant to play with a woman''s character. There were five female officers currently in our living room surrounding Ayesha and her mother. They held handcuffs before them. Ayesha''s mother was creating a scene as she refused to get handcuffed.


    "Ma''am, you''ve all the evidence. Please make sure that they get the punishment," Eshan said as he crossed his arms across his chest.


    A senior looking female officer nodded. "Yes, Mr. Singhaniya. Thank you for your co-operation."


    "Take them away," she ordered her subordinates.


    All the photos from the floor, and in Ayesha''s mother''s possession, were picked up. Another female officer was placing them in the evidence bag. My heart trembled by looking at those photos. I knew they were photoshopped. I knew it was all nothing but the conspiracy, yet I could not stop myself from shuddering.


    Eshan squeezed my shoulder when he saw me looking at those photos. He nodded his head in negative. I looked away.


    I then noticed the camera in another female officer''s hand. They had come prepared. Where were they? Were they in the house? But, how?


    How did they know what would happen? How did Eshan know? When had he called them over? Have they been watching everything all along? Watching us all along?


    Ayesha''s mother was seething in anger. Her face had gone red and she looked so vicious. I felt afraid of looking at her appearance. She reminded me so much of my father. Even after standing at so much distance, I could feel her fury.


    "If we''re arrested, the photos would be released. Everyone will know what kind of wife you have here. What would you prefer?" Ayesha''s mother threatened.


    Suddenly, fear gripped me. What if she did what she said? We knew the truth, but the world would believe what they would see. No one would bother to check the reality. I was conflicted. I wanted them to go to jail, but I did not want those photos to go out in public.


    "Oh, is that so? Then what about these photos? Would you prefer them to go on the internet?"


    My eyes snapped behind to the stairs at that familiar voice. Before I could react, Fortune had jumped in, running at the full pace to the owner of the voice. He happily barked. The person on the stair rubbed Fortune''s head lovingly.


    He had returned.


    He was finally back.


    "What kind of husband are you? Another man emerges from your bedroom, and you still protect such disgusting woman," Ayesha said as she struggled to get out of the handcuffs.


    My advancing steps halted as her words stabbed in my heart. I had called him brother, but now they were tarnishing the purity of such a sacred relationship.


    How could I even face him?


    Somewhere, his reputation had also been spoiled because of me. I lowered my head in shame, and a couple of tears fell.


    I was happy for his return. At the same time, I was ashamed to face him.


    Who would want their loved ones to witness them in such a humiliating situation?


    "You need to be more attentive Miss. Patel. Did you not hear what I just said? I don''t mind repeating though. Take a look at this before you sprout any more nonsense. You see, I''ve just returned. I haven''t greeted my sister yet, and I''ve to clean this garbage. How troublesome!" Arjun scoffed.


    I heard loud gasps coming from behind me. What was it that he brought?


    "Mom."


    "You vile man! How dare you! I''ll file a complaint against you. Y-you just wait."


    Suddenly, both the mother and daughter were yelling, cursing, threatening. Ignoring the commotion he caused, he walked down the staircase. Was he inside the house all the time? When did he return? I could not understand what was happening anymore.


    A pair of legs clad in brown pants came to stand before me. From my downcast vision, I noticed a pair of white slippers that belonged to Eshan. Only he could do something like that¡­


    "What? I just went away for a couple of days, and you won''t even look at me. Do you not recognize this brother anymore? You should eat almonds." Arjun chuckled, but I could hear the seriousness in his voice.


    I stayed silent. How could I face him? I could not.


    However, my silence did not have any effect on him. Soon, his arms came around me, pulling me in a hug. Despite everything, the moment he rubbed my hair, I broke down in loud sobs. I cried bitterly in his arms for all the grievances I suffered for all the past month.

 Chapter 216 - We’ll sit and watch a good show.

    |Innaya|


    Holding onto that brotherly warmth made me cry harder. From the morning, all I had been doing was to cry. Ayesha''s entered our life and the day turned out to be one of the worst days of my life. I thought everything would end for me.


    And, things were just pointing in that direction. Suddenly, unexpected things started happening. First Inspector. Then Arjun. Maybe, there was still some hope left. Were gods taking pity on me, finally?


    I clutched on his blue coat as I wept bitterly in his arms. My eyes stung, but I did not care anymore.


    "Why are you crying so much? Did this stupid husband of yours bully you in my absence? Wait. I''ll take revenge for you." He rubbed my head as if he was cajoling a child.


    I did not know for how long I cried, but when Arjun said those words, I could not help but smile. He could crack jokes in any kind of situation. Also, he could make jokes about my husband.


    I separated from Arjun, just a little bit. Raising my head upwards, I searched in those ocean blue eyes signs for any kind of hurt, disappointment. He was inside our house all along. He had heard everything. Words of these three women were enough to make anyone feel disgusted. What was his reaction to it?


    "What? Are you that surprised to see me here?" Arjun raised his eyebrow. His face held no sign of disgust, hurt, or surprise. Instead, I witnessed the usual playful expression on his face. It was as if there was nothing untoward happening in this living room.


    Arjun chuckled. "Did I shock you to dumb?"


    I lowered my eyes.


    "Open your eyes and ears. Look, they are blatantly flirting before your eyes. How could you still support such a woman?" Ayesha screeched loudly like a banshee. "You refused to believe those photos. Can''t you see the truth now? You can claim that those photos were photoshopped, but this- this can''t be fabricated. She threw herself in the arms of another man as soon as she saw him. Yet, you still are siding with her."


    Her voice irritated my ear. Someone needed to put tape on her mouth. She sprouted garbage every time she opened her mouth. She still had a nerve of maligning me. Was she that dense? Brotherly interaction between me and Arjun seemed the interaction between lovers to her. She needed to get her eyes checked.


    I clenched my fist my side as I turned to face her. What the hell was her problem?


    "What these people are still doing here? Ma''am, take them away. They are too disgusting to look at." Arjun dr.a.p.ed his arm around my shoulder, pulling me to his side.


    That female officer nodded her head as she motioned to her subordinates to hurry up.


    It looked as if Arjun was purposely irritating them. I did not mind. As long as those people were taken away, I did not mind anything he did or said.


    However, the moment my eyes fell on Eshan''s mother, I hesitated. I could not let her get arrested. What would happen to the reputation of Eshan''s family, if she were to be taken away?


    "Eshan," I called out to him who stood with his arms crossed across his chest, watching the scene unfolding ahead. I did not want him to humiliate his mother before outsiders.


    On hearing my voice, he turned his head in our direction. I was taken aback with a blank look in his eyes.


    "Don''t let them take her away." Composing myself, I said timidly. Eshan''s sudden change in mood made me wary.


    "Oh, is that so? She will accompany us in jail as well if that''s what Eshan wants. Right, Prerna?" Ayesha''s mother suddenly regained her focus as she looked challengingly at Eshan. She even heard my low voice. Was she still paying attention to me?


    What would Eshan do? His mother was best friends with Ayesha''s mother. She would not let anything happen to her friend. I did not want anything to happen to Eshan''s mother. So, did we really have to let Ayesha and her mother go?


    I bit my lip while waiting for Eshan to make a decision. I did not understand what Arjun was talking about earlier, because I did not see anything unusual. Everything was the same as that of before.


    I had many questions in my mind to ask. Waiting was the only option I had because these women needed to get lost for the peace in our home would return.


    "Do you have anything to say?" Eshan focussed on his mother.


    His mother who was silent in this ordeal finally nodded. There was something different about her though. I could not exactly pinpoint what it was, but something was different. Change in the aura surrounding her was too palpable to ignore. And, those familiar eyes of her reflected coldness.


    She glanced at me, but unlike other times I did not see hate, anger, or fury in those honey-brown eyes. In fact, there was something akin to pride.


    Did she feel pride in going to jail?


    Unbelievable.


    "Prerna, ask your son to release us at the moment. I''ll forgive him for his wrongdoings. He can keep clinging to that s*** -"


    Eshan''s mother raised her hand and loudly slapped Ayesha''s mother on her left cheek. Even standing at such long-distance, I could feel the force behind it for Ayesha''s mother''s whole head was thrown to the side.


    Holding her stinging cheek, Ayesha''s mother stared ahead. She could not believe that she was slapped.


    I could not believe that as well. Why would Eshan''s mother slap her best friend? When the person being degraded was me, I had least expected her to take action.


    She had been all along insulting me, and insisting that I leave Eshan. Then what happened now?


    "You¡ª"


    Slap.


    Ayesha''s mother was slapped again. Wide-eyed I stared at Eshan''s mother.


    Why was she hitting her friend?


    "Hey, come here. We''ll sit and watch a good show." Arjun tugged at my hand. It appeared as if he was waiting for a good show to unfold. I stood stunned, not comprehending what was happening.


    "Aunty, what are you doing? Why are you beating my mother?" Ayesha pulled her mother back, afraid Eshan''s mother would slap her mother again.


    This time, Eshan''s mother changed her direction and went towards Ayesha who was backing away.

 Chapter 217 - I want to beat you as well, but I’ll leave that part for my daughter-in-law

    |Innaya|


    Ayesha''s face turned pale as she trying to move out of Eshan''s mother''s reach. She had seen how her aunty did not hold back while hitting her mother.


    "D-Don''t come over. S-stay there¡­ Mom, she has gone crazy," Ayesha frantically yelled.


    It was an amusing sight to look at. How proud and confident they were for ruining my life and just two slaps were enough for them to stammer and lose their bearings.


    "I want to beat you as well, but I''ll leave that part for my daughter-in-law," Eshan''s mother said. "What do you say, Innaya?"


    I was dumbfounded. I was baffled. And, I was terrified.


    Daughter-in-law?


    Innaya?


    Wasn''t I a cheater?


    Where was the hatred and indifference in her eyes?


    It was unclear to me what games she was playing. Mere imagination of what she could do was enough to give me anxiety.


    She had driven me out of this very same house. She had just a couple of hours ago had accused me of having an affair. Why did she have a sudden shift in her demeanor, and why was she being sweet to me?


    Perhaps, it was fear of getting caught. Eshan''s support for me, she had witnessed it with her own eyes. Maybe, it was the reason she changed sides. She must not be willing to go to jail. I would not have let her go to jail anyway. There was no need of putting an act. I cringed at the prospect of being exposed to yet another conspiracy.


    "Aunty is asking you something. Answer her." Arjun patted my shoulder when I just stared at Eshan''s mother with big eyes.


    I looked at him questioningly.


    Did he know something that I did not?


    Technically, as he was inside the house, he knew how Eshan''s mother behaved. So, despite everything, he was still being nice to Aunty, or was that a sarcastic tone? I did not notice any sarcasm though. My mind was not working anymore.


    "Don''t give her any more stress," Eshan mumbled from the side.


    I looked at him gratefully.


    The people present were giving me powerful shocks, and I wondered if I was able to bear them. Only he understood me the most. This morning had started on the wrong note. All the emotional up-downs I had faced today were enough to make me unstable emotionally. I could not be able to handle any more dramas.


    "Officer. Patil, please take these women away and make sure they rot in the jail for trying to spoil my daughter-in-law''s life," Eshan''s mother said to the female officer. "Thank you for your co-operation." She forwarded her hand for the handshake towards the stern-looking senior officer.


    At this point, I had already lost my ability to think. I just looked around as Ayesha and Ayesha''s mother was taken away despite how much they struggled, screamed, and threatened. Those officers almost dragged them away without paying any heed to their reluctance.


    Ayesha''s mother was screaming loudly, making many threats while Ayesha was weeping beside her, pleading to Eshan.


    It was then when everything was cleared, leaving Arjun, Eshan''s mother, Eshan, and I behind that I heaved a partial sigh of relief.


    Half of the problem was solved, but now the bigger problem was waiting for me. Eshan chose to leave the living room at this moment, giving one look to his mother.


    I wanted to rush behind him. Why was he leaving me alone? What had happened? I had to take answers from him. If he knew everything why we suffered for so many days? In the morning he even accused me of hiding things from him because of Karan. Why?


    Just as I turned to run behind him, my leg gave away as the sharp pain in my left ankle elicited the cry of pain from me. "Ahh¡­" I struggled to maintain my balance.


    "Innaya. What''s wrong?"


    Arjun supported me before placing me on the nearest chair. I bent down to hold my leg. It was paining so much. Tears of pain gathered in my eyes. Moments ago I had stopped crying, and there I was crying again. I had twisted my ankle early but at that time I did not pay any attention to it. It seemed like, something went wrong at that moment.


    "Call the doctor."


    I heard Eshan''s voice. He was leaving, wasn''t he? Opening my eyes, I found Eshan kneeling by my side. When did he return to my side?


    "I-I''m sorry¡­" I whispered. Eshan kept his eyes on my ankle which had swollen and was rapidly turning red. It was paining a lot. The pain made me feel uncomfortable.


    Arjun shook his head as he was kneeling beside Eshan. He observed my feet for a while. "Let''s take her to the hospital. I think it needs proper investigations. It would probably need a plaster."


    "Okay." Eshan nodded before standing up.


    Eshan picked me up the bridal style in his arms without saying anything further. As he carried me out of our home to the car parked outside, he did not even spare me a fleeting glance. I would be lying if I said it did not hurt. Watching him behave indifferently after he knew everything was breaking my heart and making me angry as well.


    "Stop," I said resolutely when we exited the main door of our home. Though being in his arms made me feel relieved, his indifferent ignorance was hurting me. I did not want to go anywhere with him until I received my answers.


    Eshan kept advancing, his strides steady yet hurried. He did not bother to reply or say anything.


    "Put me down. I don''t want to go anywhere." I struggled in his arms, pushing his chest. My safety was not a concern for me; I would gladly fall and receive some injuries if they got me answers, putting my troubled heart and mind at ease. Deep down, I knew Eshan would never let me fall and suffer.


    So much had happened in the last month for me trying to save Eshan from getting hurt. I bore so much that I had trouble living with the guilt. Yet, after everything, it looked like it was unrequired. Then why had I put myself through so much?


    Eshan stopped when I was about to get out of his stronghold. His darkened eyes pinned my own with a stern glare. "Behave," he warned through greeted teeth.


    "You knew everything," I said, looking in his eyes tinged with frustration and worry.


    It was not a question rather a statement. Eshan continued staring in my eyes without blinking. His stare made me feel uncomfortable and guilty as if I was the one to do the wrong thing.

 Chapter 218 - When will you learn to trust him?

    |Innaya|


    A black Ferrari zoomed past us. The window of the car rolled down and Arjun''s head peeked from inside. "What are you standing here for? Get in the car." The door of the backseat was opened and he gestured Eshan to hurry up.


    "I don''t want to go anywhere." I stubbornly turned my head away from him. Arjun had played his role in today''s happenings. He did not bother to come to me after his return. Did he know how worried I was for him? Why would he consider my feeling? I was not his sister by blood. He would think for his friend first then for some outsider.


    "Eshan, get moving. Put her down on the backseat. I''ll apply this icepack till we reach the hospital." Eshan''s mother followed us from the inside, and she held the ice-pack in her hand which I assumed was taken from our refrigerator. There were two cushions from our sofa in her other hand as well. What was she trying to do? Whom she wanted to shower her concern upon?


    Once Eshan''s mother approached us, I could not help but hold Eshan tightly. Moments ago, I wanted to come out of his arms but watching his mother had made me recall the unpleasant things she had said. I did not want to be near her.


    "Aunty, you stay at home. We''ll keep you updated. Uncle would be reaching here soon after handling all the legal processes at the police station," Arjun said to her.


    Firstly, I was thankful for his interruption, but then as I heard his later words I frowned.


    Uncle?


    Eshan''s father?


    Police station?


    Legal processes?


    What was going on?


    "Oh! You''re right. I''ll wait here for you. Take care of her. Call me, if you need anything," Eshan''s mother continued in a caring tone as she watched me with concern.


    Was I mishearing things? My mind was completely thrown in chaos.


    Eshan decided to walk at this moment carrying me. My confusion helped him for putting me inside the car without zero protests from my side. After helping me to sit with leaning against the window, Eshan walked to his mother. He took cushions and ice-pack from her, said something to her, and came to the other side of the car.


    I quietly watched him acting almost mechanically. Something was weighing his mind. I could see it clearly. Was he mad at me for hiding things? I should be the one to do so. Why was he acting so strange? Eshan sat beside me, placed cushions in his lap before holding my leg, and putting my red swollen feet on them.


    His actions were gentle as if he was afraid of causing me more pain. Eshan then carefully used the icepack handed by his mother. In the meanwhile, Arjun started the Ferrari and drove toward the hospital.


    Arjun watched me through the rearview mirror. "How do you get hurt just by standing? I didn''t know you started loving hospitals so much."


    "Who wants to go to the hospital? I don''t want to go anywhere," I retorted. What did he think, I developed liking for the hospitals? In his dreams.


    He chuckled. "You got a temper! I see."


    "Ah!" I hissed when accidentally Eshan pressed the icepack on the swollen area. I held my knee reflexively when I could not bear the pain.


    "Can you focus on driving?" Eshan snapped at Arjun.


    "Can you focus on not hurting her?" Arjun retorted back, silencing Eshan with his words.


    Eshan''s face fell, and he clenched his fist by his side. He looked out of the window. His side profile gave a feeling of loneliness. That serious expression on his face after Arjun''s comment made my heart ache for him. What was wrong with him?


    He was too silent, and that silence of his was eating me.


    ***


    "Thankfully it''s not ligament tear of bone fracture." Arjun collapsed in the chair. I was lying on the bed as the nurse put the ankle brace on for me. The doctor had checked my swollen feet, and after a series of his examinations that included X-ray as well, he concluded that there was nothing serious.


    I just needed to give complete rest to that leg for a week so that it could heal. He had prescribed some painkillers. Arjun had insisted on the plaster though it was not needed. It was only when the doctor settled for the bandage and the ankle sprain air cast that he finally backed down.


    Eshan was silent all the while. He was so silent to the point that one could mistake him to be stranger in the room. He did not partake in any conversation with the doctor. He did not ask any questions. With his arms crossed across his chest, he only gazed at my foot.


    Once the doctor left, he also left taking the prescription with him. I stared at the closed door through which Eshan had left moments ago.


    "Are you in pain?" Arjun asked as he dragged his chair by my bedside. I averted my eyes from the door to him. Gone was the funny, indifferent, and mischievous look as he turned serious. I hoped that he would tell me the truth now. My hopes crashed down when I heard his question.


    "When will you learn to trust him?"


    What was the meaning of this question? I always trusted Eshan. My trust in him had never wavered. Because of this trust, I had chosen to stay silent about the whole matter.


    "Did he trust me?" I asked him directly.


    "Did he not?"


    "No¡­" I answered. My eyes went to the cast on my feet. I continued as I recalled why I had gotten hurt in the first place. "If he had trusted me, he would not have kept things from me. He knew I was suffering, yet he argued with me. He knew what those women did to me. He ignored me. He did not trust me. No, he did not." I shook my head vehemently.


    "Really?" Arjun scoffed. "He trusted you, which is why he is in so much pain right now," Arjun said.


    "Do you mean to say I don''t feel anything?" I questioned. "You can see his pain. What about me? Do you only care about your friend? I thought I meant something to you¡­ Now, I see I was wrong." I folded my lips, feeling the burning in my eyes.


    I looked away. This conversation with him was making me feel more miserable. I was not having answers to my question, instead, Arjun made it sound like I was at the fault.


    "Did I say that? You brought that upon yourself," Arjun said ignoring my words.


    "Yeah¡­ I brought it upon myself. It was so much fun, you know. You should try it out someday. You''ll enjoy," I snapped sarcastically.

 Chapter 219 - Why are you being so cold to me?

    |Innaya|


    The glass door was pushed inside, and a nurse entered carrying a tray. Did she enter the wrong room? Around fifteen minutes ago, the attending doctor had informed us that I could leave soon. We were waiting for Eshan to return. He did not return, instead, this new nurse was coming in.


    "Excuse me, Sir. Please wait outside, I need to check the patient, and give infusion," she politely asked Arjun.


    What infusion? Since, when twisted ankles needed infusion for the recovery of the patient? Blinking, I pushed back the tears in my eyes and swallowed the lump formed in my throat. The words Arjun said revolved in my head, forcing me to think if I was the wrong one in this whole ordeal.


    Arjun stood up protectively before my bedside, scrutinizing what she had in that tray. "Why infusion? The doctor has prescribed some painkillers. What is this all about?"


    "Sir, this is saline. The doctor instructed me to. If you have any questions, you can ask the doctor. I need to do my work, please." She moved aside and opened the door, gesturing Arjun to leave.


    Arjun folded his arms across his chest, refusing to budge. He was being skeptical about the whole thing, and so was I.


    Where had Eshan run off to? I craned my neck to look outside. There was no one.


    I remembered waking up alone in the bed when I had accused him of infidelity. At that time also, I had wakened up in the hospital with Arjun by my side. Eshan was nowhere to found. Was history repeating itself?


    Being left alone once again by Eshan would break me from within. I would not be able to gather myself together this time. I had taken all the efforts of hiding the truth about his mother so that I did not have to separate from him. If things were going to end on that note, I would have rather told him the truth.


    He knew the truth and after witnessing everything, I realized Eshan had planned the happenings of today. I had my questions for him, but no issues were valuable than him.


    I needed to find him.


    I could not let him go.


    Forgetting that my ankle currently needed rest and no pressurized movement, I decided to get down from the bed. Finding Eshan was my highest priority.


    A sharp pain shot out in my calf as I made a move. Gritting my teeth to bear the pain, I took a moment to let the pain die down.


    A familiar pair of hands held my shoulders when my feet were about to touch the hospital floor, feeling his warmth my worried heart finally decided to settle down.


    "Please wait outside for a moment," Eshan asked the nurse politely. His face again was the expressionless mask of indifference. The door was closed as the nurse nodded and left. Eshan helped me to my previous position on the bed with a couple of pillows to raise my hurt ankle. He did not scold me for my carelessness. That realization pinched my heart.


    Arjun sat back in the chair, leaving no place by my bedside for Eshan to sit which earned him a glare from Eshan.


    "Arjun, get out," Eshan commanded. He then walked to the foot of the bed and stood with folding his arms across his chest. I instantly felt the loss of his warmth.


    "It''s not up to you to decide." Arjun ignored him as he looked at me. "Would it hurt you to think about your health?" He was speaking about me trying to move, despite my ankle being sprained.


    How would he understand how much anguish I had gone through in those few moments? It felt as if my heart was being torn apart. I had once been through those two months of torture, I did not want a repeat of that. We could have our differences, but I wanted him before my eyes. My eyes greedily roamed over Eshan.


    I wanted to be reassured of his presence.


    "Huh¡­" Eshan snorted. His face held the irritation as well as faint signs of anger. "It would be a wonder if she does that."


    "Your dear sister here." Eshan pointed his finger at me. I lowered my gaze reflexively with the stern glare he looked at me. "She loves to play around with her health. Her hemoglobin was 6.9. Instead of working on improving her health, she is too busy to even take her medication properly. It''s 5.5 now."


    I lowered my head more and wished I could somehow become invisible. For the past month, I had been immersed in my guilt and problems. Thinking about my hemoglobin and health had been the last thing on my mind.


    "What? Are you serious?" Arjun asked with disbelief like he could not believe.


    "Her CBC report."


    "Innaya?" Arjun called my name.


    Raising my head, I glanced at him. There was a CBC report in his hand which he pushed to me. I quietly took the report from his hand.


    "It''s your fault. How did you look after her?" Arjun snapped at Eshan.


    "We can decide whose fault it is once we go out of this hospital. For now, get out." Eshan refused to engage in talks with Arjun for he asked Arjun to leave.


    I frowned. Though, he wanted me to take the infusion, why Arjun had to go out. The process was simple. They would just insert the needle in my vein, and the rest of the work would be done once the saline was slowly released in my vein. Everything would be done by the nurse. The presence of others in the room was not something that would interrupt the process or me.


    "Getting infusion isn''t something personal that I have to get out," Arjun said.


    He exactly spoke my inner thoughts. Eshan''s demand for sending Arjun out of the room was beyond me. Did he want to speak with me in private? If it was the case, then I wanted Arjun to leave. However, if he was going to remain passive then what was the point of it?


    Eshan glanced at me as if he wanted me to ask Arjun to leave. Until I knew the matter, why would I?


    "Alright, if you want me to spell it out, I will," Eshan stressed on the last part. "She''s hurt on her back. The nurse needs to take a look at her back to know the extent of her injury. Will you now get out?" Eshan kept his eyes on me.


    Scene of Eshan''s mother throwing her metal clutch at Fortune. Me rushing out to shield him from getting hurt. It all flashed before my eyes.


    Nothing left Eshan''s mind and keen eyes. He was able to take note of that, and he even talked to the doctor about it. Why for the twisted ankle my blood sample was drawn now made sense to me.


    In the shadows to what lengths this man was determined to go for me?


    The respect he had earned from me would always increase in my heart because of his thoughtfulness.


    "You could have said this early. I''ll wait outside, and we''re not done yet." Arjun left giving me a look that said, we would continue.


    The nurse entered once Arjun left. Eshan took the chair which Arjun had occupied. He sat quietly, observing the nurse''s action.


    "It''s a slight abrasion. There''s no need to look at my back," I told her. denying that she did not need to look at my back. I had my reasons. If I allowed her to take a look at my back, she would notice my previous scar. I did not like people asking me about it.


    "Okay," she replied.


    She was very efficient in her work as she quickly found my vein, inserted the needle, and started the drip. She then left after pointing to the button beside my bed to call her once the drip would be about to over. I nodded, thanking her.


    I turned my head on the pillow, looking at Eshan. He had his eyes fixed on the cast on my feet.


    "Why are you being so cold to me? Do you also think it''s my fault?" I quietly asked when he continued to be silent.

 Chapter 220 - Yeah, and make your sister a widow.

    |Innaya|


    "I''m tired," Eshan said those words before he placed his head beside my right hand, and closed his eyes.


    I stared incredulously at him.


    Did he just leave me hanging like that?


    In my childhood, I would hide under the covers so that my mother and grandmother would not ask me questions about my nightmares. I would run away from them if they brought up the topic of the man who had made my life a living nightmare.


    I hated confrontations, and I hated conversations.


    Maybe, from that time, I had developed the habit of keeping things to myself. Talking to someone, describing my emotions, often felt like an enormous task from which I always ran away. Even with grandpa, there were many things I did not voice out in the fear of disgusting him with my scars.


    He never complained about my lack of conversation skills. He had been there for me in my happiness and sadness. He had been there with me when I was burdened with my past, and he had seen me struggle. Yet, he never pressurized me in speaking about it against my will.


    Perhaps, it had something to do with me always thinking about what others would feel because of my words. That man, who unfortunately was my father, had made sure to instill that fear in me. The consequences I had seen and suffered because of the words which were wrong in that man''s eyes had been terrible.


    I never understood where my fear came from actually. Thinking about me should have been my priority, but I never learned to do that.


    But, this time I had paid a heavy price for that lesson.


    The whole situation had drained me emotionally, and physically.


    In life, we have two choices. The first one is to recall past and cry over it, the past which only gives us pain. Being stuck in the endless cycle of how it could have been avoided, we miss onto the present and ruin our future. The second choice is to let the present wipe down the negative traces of the past which wants to engulf us, to live the present happily by moving on.


    After considering how I have always gone for the first choice, I wanted to make the second one. For once I did not wish to think about the past. Besides, I certainly did not want to imagine the future. Making the most out of the present time, I wanted to live every moment of my life with Eshan.


    I could explain my reasoning, and so could he.


    It would have no end to it.


    Instead, we needed to have a proper conversation and end this agony. We already wasted a month because of this mess, why should we waste another month to figure out how to sort the mess.


    Looking at his tired face I could see how hard it had been on him. He did not have it easy. He suffered too. Lifting my hand I brought it to his head. How long it had been since I had touched his hair? Like this?


    How long it had been since he stayed by my side? So close¡­ without hurting me or himself.


    I had missed this.


    The soft strands of his midnight black hair, now ruffled instead of neatly set hairstyle felt quite rough under my fingertips.


    They needed conditioning.


    Had he been neglecting himself because of the distance between us?


    ''Eshan, were you troubled too?'' I pressed my lips watching the dark shadows underneath his eyes. The light stubble on his face gave him a different look and hid his sharp jaw. Admiring his face after so long, in silence, without worrying about what would happen if he knew the truth¡­ the feeling was rather of bliss.


    The door was pushed open once for the third time, and Arjun entered with a paper bag in his hand. "Inn¡ª"


    "Shh¡­" I gestured Arjun to not make any noise, pointing my eyes to Eshan. Who knew if he was sleeping or just wanted to avoid conversation? In any case, I wanted him to stay just like that¡­ by my side.


    "Don''t tell me he is sleeping?" Arjun came forward and bent before Eshan''s face to confirm. He rolled his eyes.


    I nodded affirmatively.


    "Great, just great!" Arjun shook his head. "I didn''t see him doing any manual labor. What he is tired of? Is he tired of paying hospital bills?" He raised his eyebrow.


    I licked my dried lips with my tongue as I sighed. My fingers stroked Eshan''s hair. Arjun had unexpected reactions and comments. I decided to not bother with him.


    Arjun sat on my bed beside Eshan''s head near my leg which was on the bed while other was propped up on the pillows.


    Arjun then raised his hand in the air as if he wanted to smack Eshan on his head.


    "Hey, no," I whisper yelled.


    "You both are impossible." Arjun lowered his hand. Opening the paper bag he took out one box. "I brought snacks and drinks from the hospital canteen. It''s hygienic. Have this sandwich before drinking the orange juice."


    I knew I could not deny him. And, truthfully, I felt a little hungry too. As Ayesha was sitting on the dinning, I had not been able to stomach much food. And, later that scene happened.


    My stomach decided to grumble at the moment I took the wrapped sandwich from his hands.


    "I knew it; this monkey did not feed you. See, you''ve lost so much weight. No wonder, your legs did not have the strength to hold you up," Arjun sighed dramatically. "I so want to strangle this stupid." He brought his hands around Eshan''s neck, demonstrating how he wanted to strangle Eshan.


    "Yeah, and make your sister a widow."


    My eyes went wide and the sandwich fell from my hand, listening to Eshan''s voice.


    "Are you mad? Don''t you ever say that?" I snapped at him.

 Chapter 221 - I felt home...

    |Eshan|


    Those glaring eyes, tinged with tears of anger ignited a burning fire in my chest. Just the mere words of my demise were enough for igniting that fierce response from her. Did she consider how many times I had died in the past couple of days because of the guilt?


    Even when I understood her reasons, I could not help but be angry. She had suffered. Silently, without complaining... so that I would not hate my mother.


    I have started to hate her habit of bottling things up. However, I could not help but love her for her selflessness and her love for me.


    After the whole ordeal at our home, I knew I was in the worst mood. On top of that, she had ignored her health, causing her hemoglobin to drop. All the efforts of improving her health had gone down the drain. This only added to my guilt.


    My dampened mood was going to hurt her. I knew it. Thus when she had asked me why I was being cold towards her. I had remained silent, pretending to fall asleep.


    Those dainty fingers of her moved through my hair. The feeling of finally being close to her washed over me, but Arjun had to intevene. I played dumb, and decided to carry on the facade.


    The silence was better than hurting her with my words. I lost it when Arjun said those words. In the end, reality proved how right I was. Blurting those words out had created the mess I was trying to avoid. Taking them back was not the option available.


    "Hmph-"


    She still had something to say, but I refused to let the words get to me. I pulled myself up, leaned over her, and silenced her in the only way I knew would not leave me with regret.


    I kissed her.


    Deeply, longingly, and punishingly.


    How dare she try and bear everything?


    How dare she hurt herself?


    How dare she forget that she had someone she could feel safe with?


    Holding her face, I poured down all my anger and frustration in that kiss.


    "God! You monkey, you could''ve warned me before starting the a.d.u.l.t movie here," Arjun yelled from somewhere in the background. Who told me to be friends with such character?


    Ignoring him, I pressed my lips against Innaya''s. That baffled woman, with her wide eyes, stared at me foolishly. My heart palpitated with a rush of emotions as I poured all my feelings in the kiss.


    "Call me when you''re done. Remember that she''s hurt, don''t go overboard. Oh! Innaya, remember to not move your arm, the needle might hurt you. And, lastly, Eshan, force restrain a bit. This is a hospital, not your bedroom¡­ I see no one is interested in my advice¡­ Ungrateful."


    Soon after that, the door was banged loudly indicating that he had left, giving us privacy.


    Eventually feeling her running out of the breath, I stopped.


    "You are so stupid. Do you know that?" I asked her, pulling my head a little back.


    Her face had turned red, and a couple of tears rolled down her cheek. She looked at me with utter disbelief, before her moistened red lips curved in a smile.


    "Stop smiling," I chided her. That only seemed to cause her smile more.


    This woman.


    She had no idea what I have gone through in the past days.


    "What were you thinking? Huh? I''m so mad right now. I''m mad at you. Stop smiling. I told you to stop smiling."


    Grabbing hold of her chin, I kissed her again. She would not stop smiling otherwise.


    What was I to do with this woman?


    ***


    ooo


    ***


    |Innaya|


    I could have expected anything but not this. Judging from the way Eshan gave me a cold shoulder, I never thought he would kiss me.


    Never.


    Anything but kiss which stole away my breath.


    From the background I was aware of the Arjun''s displeasure which was like a mirage in the desert, only to fool others. Deep down he must be happy that the two closest people in his life were going to sort out there issues.


    Eshan''s kisses always made me breathless for I never remembered to breathe. This time, he acted so suddenly that I had no chance to respond. He made that remark of the widow, making me furious and hurt beyond limits. When I was berating him, he chose to silence my protest. What had gotten into him? His behavior was turning more and more unpredictable.


    However, with his taking an initiative to kiss me, I understood that our bad days had ended. If we did not have hope anymore, he would have chosen to distance himself from me. Then that would have been quite a tough task. Now, I knew we were going to be okay.


    I could not stop smiling after realizing that Eshan was confused. He just not knew whether to get angry or remain hurt. I certainly did not understand his reason, but I could read his dilemma.


    He was just like me in some aspects. Both of us did not know how to handle ourselves when it came to the people we loved.


    "What were you thinking? Huh? I''m so mad right now. I''m mad at you. Stop smiling. I told you to stop smiling."


    Hearing his words, he sounded like a child to me. A child who did not know what to do when his favorite cookies were hidden so that he did not have a toothache.


    His lips pressed against mine again, a little bit firmly, a little bit strongly¡­ and I welcomed his fit of frustration at himself and the situation with bubbling happiness in my chest and tears of relief in my eyes


    Moments ago, I was so mad and hurt because of his carelessly spoken words. I was ready with words I would say to apologize and ask for punishment. I would have asked him to punish me in any way but not with those terrible words. The thought of losing him was enough to throw me in the bottomless darkness of depression. I could not bear the mere thought of it.


    The moment his lips touched mine¡­


    The moment those dark eyes filled with myriads of emotions he was unable to handle, met mine¡­


    The moment I felt his desperation, and his guilt¡­


    The moment his warm breath caressed my face¡­


    I felt home.


    ***


    Please check out the author''s note.

 Chapter 222 - Love it or hate it, you’re stuck with this mean person for life.

    |Innaya|


    "Oh, you''re back."


    "How''s her injury? Is it bad? What the doctor said?"


    Holding onto Eshan''s neck, with Eshan hoisting me in his arms when we entered our home, his mother rushed to us. I closed my eyes, pretending to sleep. I did not want to do anything with her right now. As my head was buried in Eshan''s chest, it helped me with carrying out my charade.


    "Mom, she''s sleeping, we''ll talk later," Eshan whispered. He played along because he obviously knew I was acting. After those kisses, we had soon left the hospital. Eshan and I did not get to talk much for the infusion were over. Arjun then had brought the nurse and after settling things there, we had no reason to be in the hospital.


    The ride back to the home was a silent affair. I was trying to make sense of everything, and Eshan looked lost in thoughts as well. Only Arjun had been in the mood of passing teasing remarks. His teasing was also the reason I had closed my eyes to avoid getting embarrassed.


    "Okay," Eshan''s mother said, and she lowered her voice. "Take care of her. Oh! Where''s Jun?"


    Jun?


    Ar-jun?


    Oh! Arjun had another nickname. I did not know. It sounded good to ears as well. I might call him that some time. Eshan''s mother appeared close to Arjun, and the way Arjun had talked with her early showed that they shared a very good bond. Perhaps Eshan''s mother was not bad. She must have had her reasons. The only issue was, I did not want to know them now.


    "Coming," Eshan curtly replied before starting to walk away.


    "Take care of her then. I''ll call you for the dinner," his mother called out.


    "Okay." Eshan did not stop and started climbing the stairs by holding me in his arms. I wished I could open my eyes and ask him to take me to the guest room. There was no need to climb so many stairs, but I knew he would not agree.


    "Son." A heavy male voice called out.


    Eshan paused. I felt him turning his head. I kept my eyes closed. The voice sounded foreign to me, but the way he addressed Eshan, I knew it was Eshan''s father. They had mentioned him before we left for the hospital.


    "I''ve settled the matter. I want to have a word with you. Find me in your study in an hour," his father informed.


    The authoritative tone of his father came as a surprise to me. He sounded like one of my professors from my college. Stern and impassive. The professor whom everyone feared.


    ***


    "Afraid of my mother?" Eshan asked when we were out of the hearing range of the people in the living room. I knew that because he was walking for quite some time now.


    Gingerly opening my eyes, I stole a look at him. After confirming that there was no one behind, I shook my head.


    "Mad at her?" He probed further.


    "I don''t know the whole truth," I answered, narrowly avoiding the topic. Honestly, my mind was blank. Initially, I disliked his mother for trying to destroy our marriage. And, today, her words had cut me deep, wounding me emotionally.


    Forgetting her words, while behaving as if things were normal between us? It would be impossible at the moment. Nothing happened within the snap of fingers. I needed time, and it was crystal clear. Eshan also understood it. Perhaps, that was why he acted along when I did not want to face his mother.


    Eshan''s arm shifted on my back, bringing a wave of slight discomfort. The abrasion or whatever it was seemed to be hurting me now. The pain reminded me of innocent Fortune. Where was he? I did not hear his barking or whining.


    "Hey, where''s Fortune? Put me down¡­ I need to look for him." Realizing that I had forgotten about him made me feel like smacking my head. How could I forget about him? I even left him with Eshan''s mother. She had tried to hurt him. What would she have done to him behind our back?


    "Shh¡­ stop struggling. He must be somewhere," Eshan said, holding me carefully. His steps did not falter. Ahead of us, just a couple of steps was our bedroom. While talking, Eshan had effortlessly carried me to our bedroom.


    "But, your mother¡ª" I shook my head. "No, I have to look for him."


    "How?" Eshan scoffed. He rolled his eyes as he pushed the wooden door of our bedroom.


    I raised my eyes. Why was the door unlocked?


    "By limping all around the house? You want to hurt yourself? I''ll help you by breaking your other leg. You can gladly use a wheelchair then," he taunted.


    My eyes went wide. "Y-You. You''re mean." I glared at him. Why was he being so mean to me? This side of his with dark humor was a little bit frustrating. His unpredictable words were a little alarming. I would not know what he would say or why.


    "You''re goddess who only thinks about us mere peasants¡­" His words knew no end as he continued his mocking.


    "Hmph!" I turned my head away from him. What had gotten into him?


    Pressing his right knee on the bed, he placed me on the bed. "Lie down here obediently." He stood up after making sure that I was placed in between and then went on to arrange pillows under my feet. That was not needed.


    I said, pulling myself in a seating position. "I''ve to freshen up."


    With all the crying I had done and the stay in the hospital I was feeling uncomfortable. I needed a shower. However, given the state of my leg, I knew I would not be able to take a bath. Eshan would kick a fuss once he got wind of it. I was repeatedly told to not put pressure on that foot.


    "I''ll help you to the bathroom," Eshan replied. He bent down to pick me up again.


    "I can do it by myself. I don''t need help from the mean person." I refused to let him carry me. Was he not giving me a hard time with his sarcastic and biting remarks. I would not let him pick me up. He should watch me struggle and realize his mistake.


    Eshan shook his head. "Love it or hate it, you''re stuck with this mean person for life."


    My head snapped in his direction at those direct words.

 Chapter 223 - Where was the end of it?

    |Innaya|


    ''Love it or hate it, you''re stuck with this mean person for life.''


    Eshan said those words as if I wanted to leave him. Where did he get that idea from? I frowned. For the past one month, I was fighting with myself and the situation. I did everything so that I could not have to leave him. Why would he say something like this?


    Eshan did not give me any time to react. He bent down; his warm breath fanned my face as he suddenly came closer to me. His face stern, eyes darkened and lips stretched in a thin line. He appeared extremely serious.


    "You are stuck with me for a lifetime," he whispered looking in my eyes. I shivered, the gaze with which he looked at me made me unsettled¡­ in both positive and negative ways.


    My mind was hazy, and I was tired. I did not have time for his games, sarcastic remarks, or moodiness.


    Lowering my head, I found the flowery patterns of the bed sheet more interesting. I had changed the bedsheet this morning only. Eshan liked this bedsheet, and it made me start to adore it as well. The pink, white, green, and cream color bedsheet had rose print on it. I caressed the image of rose under my fingertips.


    Even a beautiful rose has thorns. They did not hinder the beauty of them, and instead provided protection. Eshan was like a rose in my life. I wanted to be thorn protecting him from difficulties. However, I forgot that though thorns do provide the protection, they would eventually get removed if someone wanted to reach the rose.


    Today, I had seen with my eyes, how people also considered me a thorn in his life. What if they have gotten successful? Where had they gotten confidence from? Why would they photoshop my photos in that way? Was my life some sort of drama, or serial for them where they applied all their tricks?


    I wanted answers, and I wanted peace.


    Just one moment I wished we would sort out our problems, and next moment Eshan was pouring cold waters over me with his biting words. I had enough of it.


    "If you''re angry then say it directly¡­ on my face. Stop using your words like a sword. They cut, you know? Deep," I said.


    Pushing him aside, I turned myself on the edge and kept my uninjured foot on the ground. I was not handicapped. I did not need his help.


    Eshan held my shoulder, stopping me. Hurt, I stubbornly refused to look at him.


    Out of sight! Out of mind!


    I would practice this. Folding my lips, I chose to try and get to the bathroom. Inside there, I would have more privacy, and Eshan''s biting words would not follow me. The doctor said not to put pressure on my injured ankle. Limping, and taking the support of the walls would not be any problem. Would it?


    Leave it. I should just try it out. The effects of my action would be revealed in a moment anyway. If it hurts, I would just sit back.


    "I''m sorry. I''ll help you." Eshan sighed as he crouched down before me.


    "No." I shook my head. I did not want his help.


    "Stop being stubborn."


    "Stop being heartless," I snapped.


    "Heartless? I am being heartless?" Eshan chuckled humourlessly before he sighed again. "Look, you need rest. Don''t start an argument now."


    I stared incredulously at him. What his words meant? I was starting the argument? Seriously?


    He and Arjun, both were the same. It was entirely my fault in their eyes. I had resolved that I would patiently converse with him and sort out the matter. I thought we could go back to how we were, but Eshan seemed to have different plans. His actions, words were contradicting.


    "Do you mean to say, I''m starting the argument?" I asked him broken-heartedly. "Yeah, you and your friend both are the same. He also thinks I''m at fault, and you feel the same. I-I don''t want to talk to you. I''m done¡­ I don''t want to talk to you." I bit my lip feeling the lump forming in my throat.


    ***


    000


    ***


    |Eshan|


    Could I bang my head somewhere?


    She got hurt again by my words. They were not pleasant, to begin with. I knew. Her fallen face only reconfirmed how stupid I was.


    "Innaya, I''m sorry. I don''t think you''re at fault." I sighed with regret.


    "Liar." She shook her head as she looked away sharply.


    Damn. Why could I not keep control over my tongue? I was angry, but that did not mean I had to take it on her. I had no right to be bitter to her when she had just gone through something so terrible.


    The words and accusations, my mother, and those two women had used for her were too horrible to even think about it. She was subjected to them without any fault of hers. Instead of comforting her, I was even adding up to her misery.


    No one could be more terrible than me. Definitely no one.


    "I''m not lying," I earnestly confessed. How could she be at fault when it happened all because of me? Ayesha wanted me, so the whole drama had happened. Even in my dreams, I would have never thought that Ayesha could do something like this. The woman hid her claws well.


    Right now, Innaya was my priority, looking after her, explaining things to her, mattered the most at this time. Other things could wait.


    Taking hold of her palms, I squeezed her fingers until she looked at me. It took time. She kept her gaze averted, not sparing me any glance. The tears gathering in her eyes made me feel pathetic for putting her in this state.


    "Tesoro," I called out the endearment I had not used in a long time.


    Innaya looked at me with surprise.


    "I won''t say a word now. Let me help you first," I said, admitting that I would keep my mouth shut. Who knows, getting irritated with me she might end up hurting herself. I could not take a chance.


    "I don''t think so. You''ve developed this new habit of hurting me with your words. You can continue if it gives you happiness. Don''t care about me. I''m a goddess, right? Go on, continue your complaints, grievances. I''m all ears," she uttered brokenly.


    My heart went out for the woman who looked helpless and clueless.


    I had done it again.


    I had hurt her again.


    This morning only I caused her so much pain by taking Karan''s name. Now, again we were going in circles only. The circle of hurting each other and giving nothing but pain and guilt. Where was the end of it?

 Chapter 224 - Have you ever been stung by a honeybee?

    |Innaya|


    I blinked my eyes. I did not want to cry. I looked away. The bathroom door was just in front of my eyes. I had to take some steps and I would be out of the atmosphere that was growing tense.


    "Sweetheart! I shouldn''t be behaving like this. I know. Look, I''m sorry. I don''t want to hurt you, but all I''m doing is the exact opposite," Eshan admitted in a low voice.


    It did not matter. He was repeatedly saying things that were hurting me. He admitted it himself that he was behaving rudely. In the past month, I had tried to keep my composure. I did not hurt him with my words. My silence was hurting him, I knew it. However, I had no other options.


    Eshan was not in that dilemma, yet he was being unkind to me.


    "Sorry." He then sat down cross-legged on the ground. Pad of his thumb grazed across the inside of my wrist as he stared at the cast on my ankle while stroking my skin absentmindedly. His eyes sorrowful as he gazed at the swollen flesh of my leg. I followed his gaze, feeling a pang of heartache at the red swollen ankle.


    I was angry at him, perhaps I was not. I was more hurt because of the cold shoulder he gave to me. The stance he chose to express his displeasure was bothering me the most. I would not lie, saying I could overlook it. I could not.


    "Have you ever been stung by a honeybee?" I asked out of the blue.


    Eshan''s head snapped at me. The question was unexpected. For him, and for myself as well.


    Eshan looked puzzled. "Why do you ask?"


    "Tell me." I pulled back my hands from his, placing them by my side. A flash of hurt crossed Eshan''s features.


    "No." He shook his head.


    "When you get stung by those honeybees, the venomous toxin is left behind in your skin, giving you pain. Your words, your attitude... it is worse than that. Your actions, your words, your aloofness¡­ everything¡­ everything is hurting me. It''s like that toxin, which is slowly getting under my skin, giving me pain, bringing tears in my eyes, and making my heart hurt," I said. Bringing my right hand up, I placed it on my heart. "Here. It pains here. I really can''t bear it, Eshan."


    Eshan visibly flinched at that. His right hand which was resting in his thigh, clenched in a fist. It loosened up twice before curling in a fist again. He then smiled sardonically.


    "Oh, I see. You know about the stinger. What happens to that bee after it stings you?" He raised his eyebrow.


    I had no answer to that question. I did not know. My grandma loved gardening. When I was twelve, I had once gotten bitten by the honeybee, so I knew about the pain and discomfort. The memory of that incident was blurry in my mind, so I remembered only the painful part.


    Eshan sighed. "It dies¡­ painfully."


    I was taken aback at the knowledge. ''They die? Why? Are humans more poisonous than bees?'' Well, the humans are actually more toxic, poisonous. One can find remedies, vaccines, medicines for other things, but not for the poison within humans which they hid deep within their heart and sometimes on their tongue.


    Ayesha''s mother and Ayesha. Both women had a more poisonous tongue than any venom. The toxicity they had in their heart was unbearable. The words they had used were more vulgar than used in slums. In fact, those people might not be using them. The mother and daughter pair was a vicious one.


    "You know why?" Eshan asked. It broke my reverie. I did not want to think about those women. They did not deserve another thought from me.


    Eshan held my gaze. "They die of massive abdominal rupture. When a honeybee stings you, it cannot pull the barbed stinger back. It not only leaves behind stinger but part of its digestive tract and abdomen. Not only that but muscles and nerves as well¡­ I''m no different than that bee. You know why?"


    I bit my lip hard. I somewhere got the idea of what he was trying to say. The raw anguish swirling in his eyes brought a wave of discomfort to my heart, making me restless.


    "Because for every word of mine that is hurting you. For every action of mine that is hurting you¡­ a part of me dies. I know it''s wrong. I should not be hurting you, but I can''t help it." Eshan stood up from the ground. He wobbled a bit, maybe because the floor was cold, and sitting on it for so long made his legs numb.


    Taking a couple of steps back, he started pacing in the room. "You did not trust me. You chose to confide in someone else while bearing everything alone. Why?" He moved his hands through his hair, messing them. He was frustrated.


    "Don''t you know why?" I retorted. He was still stuck to Karan''s point. I did not confide in anyone. Not even Karan. Despite how many threats Karan gave me, holding Eshan as bait, wishing I would share my problem with him, I had not shared anything with him.


    Eshan''s agitation was hurting me. The whole situation was hurting me.


    "No¡­ I don''t know. I tried considering it from every perspective. I really did. But, I don''t know why you would choose outsiders instead of me." He paused his marching. He abruptly spun on his feet before he towered over me. Even while towering over me by balancing his weight on the bed on both hands that were trapping me, he made sure to avoid my leg.


    "Is that what you really feel, Eshan? Am I that kind of person in your eyes?" I asked him. His consideration was touching my heart, but his words had a totally opposite effect on me. They were tearing me from inside. Why did he doubt me?


    "What kind of person am I? Fickle? Incompetent? Emotionally unstable? What?" He retorted with his question.


    "Don''t you return my questions with a question? Don''t divert the topic. While we are at it, let''s discuss." I did not back out. "Tell me what you think of me. Let it out for once and all."


    ***

 Chapter 225 - Get out of this room…

    |Innaya|


    We stared at each other in silence. Eshan abruptly went to one of his quiet modes as he stood hovering over me. Our faces were only inches apart. His warm breath mingled with mine, and if we were in a colder place, we could have seen them combine together in a miniature cloud before mixing with the surrounding air.


    If we had not been in such a difficult situation, the position both of us were in would have led to romantic gestures. His chest heaved upside and down as he breathed heavily. His tongue darted out as he licked his dried lips, which soon parted and closed as if he wanted to say something but could not.


    "Eshan, you forgot¡ª Oh! Damn! You could''ve locked the damn door," Arjun screamed dramatically. Where did he come from?


    Eshan sprang to his feet, cursing under his breath. "Damn it."


    I adjusted myself on the bed. I wiped my face, looking in the mirror to make sure that there were no traces on my face of what was happening in the room. Eshan had his back to me, so it gave me some time to sort my emotions, and put on the poker face.


    I was mad at him. I had brought this on myself according to him. How could he say that? He had known me, and still, he blamed me. Those two months he had spent with me, were they not enough for him to know how much I loved Eshan? Did he not know what Eshan meant to me? Arjun had chosen to side with Eshan without hearing my side of the story. His lack of trust in me was infuriating.


    "Stop corrupting my innocent eyes," Arjun added as he walked in with his hand covering his eyes. He peeped through the gap in his fingers, though.


    "Shut up!"


    "Shut up!"


    Eshan and I snapped at the same time. Arjun had bad timing. He interrupted us when we could finally have been sorting out our issues. On top of that, he had to pass embarrassing comments of his. Who was it corrupting his eyes? Who wanted to? Here, we hardly hugged each other, and he was speaking as if we were doing something intimate.


    "Hey! Why are you being rude?" Arjun retorted as he sat beside me on the bed. Eshan looked ready to throw him out at any moment, and so did I.


    "You don''t lock the door. Engage in umm¡­ how do I put it?" He tapped his head with his index finger. "Never mind, engage in this-" he gestured towards us as if describing it with his actions, "and have the nerve to scold me. Who do you think you are trying to intimidate? I tell you, I''m not an easy person to deal with."


    "Get out!"


    "Get out!"


    I looked at Eshan when we both were in synchronization once again. Arjun''s words were making the blush rise on my face despite the absurdness of the situation. And, what did he mean by- engage in this? Nothing was happening.


    "Whoa! Are you nuts? Sorry, Innaya not you¡­" Arjun apologized to me before he glared at Eshan. "I''m helping you out of goodwill, and you are throwing me out. No. I won''t leave now. I''ll stay." Arjun then fell backward on the bed. His 6''2'''' figure when laid horizontally on the bed, his both arms outstretched behind his head, portrayed a picture of a model, modeling his clothes, bed, bedsheet, and himself.


    I blinked my eyes to get rid of that image. My imagination was truly running wild. What situation we were in, and what was I thinking about. Hopeless, truly hopeless.


    "If you don''t leave, I''m going to throw you out by myself," Eshan threatened Arjun. Eshan overlooked one thing. That no one could intimidate Arjun. I had never seen him fl.u.s.tered because of any threat, and he never retreated without a fight. Be it words, or actions. He always had to have an upper hand.


    "Heartless¡­" Arjun commented in a low voice. I heard him clearly. It made me wonder, how much similar were we? We did not share the blood relation, but our bond was thicker than anything. It was again proved by his words. I had just called Eshan- heartless. And, now, Arjun repeated the same.


    "What did you say? Repeat that? Huh?" Eshan rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt till his elbows, revealing his fair, and strong hands.


    "I won''t repeat? What can you do about it?" Arjun rolled his eyes.


    "Y-You¡­" Eshan raised a threatening finger at Arjun.


    "Don''t wave your finger at me. Otherwise, I''ll have Fortune bite it off for me." Arjun made a biting action.


    "Ha¡­ as if Fortune is going to listen to you," Eshan scoffed.


    "Wanna bet?"


    "You''re mad."


    "You''re madder."


    "You''re maddest."


    "You both are insane," I yelled in between their silly banter. "What are you? Five? Stop behaving stupidly. Get out of this room¡­ both of you, now." Frustrated, I turned my head away. I could not even look at the two people who were behaving worse than kids.


    Arjun sat up and patted on my shoulder. "I''ll throw him out. Don''t worry."


    I did not know whether to laugh or cry. In clear words, I had told him to get lost, and here he was telling me that he would throw out Eshan. Seriously? Were both of them trying to anger me to the death with their weirdness? If yes, then they were succeeding in it.


    "Fortune baby come here. Come to daddy," Arjun cooed gently looking at the door. I turned my gaze in the direction of the door, there stood Fortune on his all fours.


    He barked, wagging his tail before he sprinted in the room.


    "Oh my! Are you okay? Where were you? Are you hurt somewhere?" I leaned down a little when Fortune rushed to me, ignoring the other two fools in the room. My heart melted with love. There was someone who loved me unconditionally. I finally felt relieved once I checked him, and noticed that he was unscathed. He was not harmed.


    Fortune wagged his tail happily, smiling with his large tongue hanging out from his mouth.


    Eshan chuckled. "Daddy? Huh? Go and marry if you are longing for someone to call you father, you despo. Leave my Fortune out of it." Eshan knelt down again, rubbing Fortune''s head.


    Arjun stood up instantly, flexing his arms. "Hey, I''m not that pervert¡­ But thinking about it. It does sound good to hear. Does Innaya call¡ª"


    "Shut your mouth and get out of my bedroom."


    ***

 Chapter 226 - No need to go anywhere...

    |Eshan|


    Arjun had gone crazy. In which context he would take things, and what he would say was unexpected, totally unexpected.


    I was being sarcastic when I said about getting married and having children. My meaning was his future kids, and the stupid man took it in a s.e.x.u.a.l context.


    Ah! My life! Where did I find a friend like him?


    Innaya seemed ignorant about Arjun''s words. Perhaps, she did not listen to him. It was a good thing.


    Innaya had her head lowered as she gently cooed and played with Fortune. My wife surely has changed. There was no fear of dogs on her face.


    That smile on her pale face, made her look radiant. I was reminded of her brave action of protecting Fortune. I had not foreseen her to ignore her safety and emerge out of nowhere. She had done that so quickly that I had no chance of reacting, eventually that had caused her to get hurt. But, now there were no traces of that event on her face. From the past month, this was the first time I had seen her smiling genuinely.


    I did not want that smile to get wiped from her face.


    Holding Arjun''s collar, I dragged him out of our bedroom. I could not let Innaya hear his crude words. He would corrupt my innocent wife if I let him be around her. No, I would not take that chance.


    "Hey, get off."


    "Back off, Eshan."


    "I would fight if you don''t leave my collar this moment."


    "I''ve warned you."


    "Shut up!" I left his collar as I finally managed to drag him out of the room amidst his childish protests.


    "You fool. You ruined my shirt." He straightened out his collar while adjusting his shirt.


    This time, I made sure to guard the door, blocking him from entering inside again and trying to sprout his nonsense. We did not have time for his nonsense.


    "Shh¡­ stop corrupting my wife," I whispered.


    "Ohhhhhh!" He drawled out cheekily like one of those fangirls.


    I cringed at his cheekiness. Glaring him, I folded my arms across my chest.


    Arjun turned serious as well. It seemed as if he finally had enough of playing around.


    "Don''t hurt her. She has already gone through so much," he said in a low tone, being mindful of Innaya''s presence.


    All my anger went away at his noisy interference. In the end, he was looking out for his sister, I could not fault him for trying to ease up Innaya''s mood.


    I nodded, glancing at the woman sitting on the bed inside. I knew how much she had gone through. Somewhere, I had been the reason behind her misery.


    "I know."


    "Do you want me to take uncle and aunty at my place?" Arjun asked as he leaned on the wall beside the door. "Until you two sort out your issues."


    I heard some voices coming from the living room before I could reply to him. Walking to the railing, I took a look at the living room. At times like this, having an open living room helped a lot.


    "Prerna, cook something healthy for our daughter-in-law," Dad said while handing paper bags to her. The green leaves were peeking out from the bag. He must have gone out for the vegetable shopping. "She looks so skinny. It seems like, your son did not feed her well."


    Mom stayed silent for a moment. "Did you not notice your son? He looks so thin," she replied sighing.


    "Yeah, yeah. You can only think about your son. I''ll dote on my daughter-in-law. Today I''ll cook for her," Dad announced. He then stood up and took the bags to the kitchen. Then both had made themselves at home when we were at the hospital.


    Dad''s words warmed my heart. I learned cooking from him. Dad inherited his culinary skills from his father. The men in the Sighaniya family all had exceptional cooking skills. This was because we all loved our wives. This tradition of learning to cook for our better halves was set by my great-grandpa.


    "You are your wife''s only support in her new home. She steps in her new life only trusting her husband because her every relation in her new home starts from her husband. Though they say, food is the best way of reaching the man''s heart. It is no different for women. All these years, I have taught you cooking for nothing. Don''t embarrass me before your wife. Make sure that you''re looking after her well, and feed her well. A healthy body and a healthy mind would result in a healthy relationship."


    Arjun nudged my shoulders. "What are you thinking about?"


    I blinked my eyes, getting out of the trance. Dad had said those words to me after my engagement. I was very nervous once the date of our marriage was approaching. As everything had happened in a rush, Innaya and I had barely gotten some time to even talk.


    I had turned to my father for help, for some advice, and some encouragement. He had said those words to me, reminding me, again, and again to not mess up and cherish my wife.


    "Where are you lost again?" Arjun poked my forehead.


    "Nothing." I removed his finger from my face.


    "You stay with them. No need to go anywhere," I replied, making my decision. Perhaps keeping my parents around would help Innaya. She had not received fatherly love in her life. Maybe, dad could fill out that hole in her heart. For the fact, I knew that my father would side with Innaya every time for he had longed for the daughter all along whom he could spoil rotten.


    He had been busy with our family business, and he missed spoiling Priyanka. Priyanka preferred to stick to mom. I, mom, and Priyu would make a team, teasing and irritating him. He had then often said that he would take my wife in his team.

 Chapter 227 - I feel such a fool to think that people would accept me as I’m…

    |Innaya|


    Eshan dragged out Arjun from the room, holding his collar. The scene felt comical to see two tall, handsome men engaged in silly banter and behaving like teenagers.


    Eshan''s intense stare from the door made me want to look up, but I kept my head downcast. Fortune licked my palm, being overly friendly... and happy.


    "Woof, woof¡­ Aaoooo." Fortune kept showing his happiness by making those noises.


    I stroked his head, sensing the stress leaving my body slowly. Perhaps this was the contentment pets brought. Those two innocent eyes of his, filled with love, warmed my heart. With him by my side, I needed not to worry about being judged.


    "You won''t leave me right?" I pucker my lips.


    The need for support was gnawing at my heart, I wanted someone''s assurance. Fortune rubbed his head against my right knee. He behaved like a small child, acting coquettishly.


    "¡­ "


    Hushed whispers outside the door ignited a curiosity in my mind. Eshan and Arjun were talking about something, making sure that it would not reach me. Possibly I was the topic of their discussion.


    Shortly the voices stopped, and I caught the sight of both of them leaving.


    Great!


    He said he would help me to get to the washroom. Now, he seemed to have forgotten about it. Never mind. I was not crippled. I could get there on my own.


    "You stay here. I''ll be back soon, okay?" I told Fortune, though I did not know if he would understand.


    Looking at the distance which was no longer than ten or fifteen steps, I sighed. I had to make a detour to the wardrobe. Without taking a set of clean clothes, what was I going to change into? So the small distance had now changed to a complete race track with my injured leg.


    I did not need his help.


    I would do this on my own.


    Taking the help of the headboard, I carefully stood up. The straight short distance was now going to be a long unnecessary tour of the room. I could not take the short path, for there was nothing to support my weight.


    Fortune instead of seating on the floor or jumping on the bed, followed beside me. And, then the small walking race to reach the destination began with a human and a dog.


    I stopped after taking two steps. "Only you like me the most. Don''t you?" I tilted my head, looking down at Fortune.


    Fortune barked in response as he replied to me. I giggled lightly, shaking my head.


    "You know, I feel very sad." I took another couple of more steps, and then stopped at the wooden table holding the corner of it. The frames of Eshan and I were placed neatly on the table.


    I picked up one on the frame, closest to me. I caressed the happy faces of the couple. They looked content holding each other''s hands. We had taken it on the beach. Eshan had started printing out our photos and then framing them. He had hung many portraits, frames in the whole house. It had puzzled me, but later I got used to it. Who would not enjoy seeing the happy memories before their eyes?


    "Aaaooo." Fortune made a low whining sound. He seemed to have not liked the idea of me being sad and silent. Aww!


    Feeling the tear rolling down on my cheek, I wiped it away instantly. Smiling, I asked him, "Will you listen to me? Hmm?"


    Fortune made a sound, staying close to me.


    I nodded. Sharing things with someone who would not judge me was always a good idea. "I''ll tell you."


    "Arjun said it was my fault. Eshan also feels the same. Both of them clearly expressed their views, and decided that I''m the wrong one." I swallowed the lump in my throat, keeping the frame back in its place.


    "This makes me feel sad. Why? Why are they blaming me?" Staring into my reflection in the mirror I tried finding where I went wrong.


    The damn tears, what were they gushing out for? Angrily, I wiped them away.


    "Eshan''s mother started this. She threw me out of this house, locking me outside with those darn divorce papers. Today''s drama had nothing to do with me, but I was insulted, humiliated, accused¡­ What wrong did I do? I feel I should not have agreed for this marriage¡­" I bit my lips.


    From a young age, I detested the idea of marriage. The failed marriage of my parents had left a bitter taste in my mouth. Watching my grandparent''s blissful married life had somewhere lessened up that feeling, but it was still there.


    Back then, if my mother had not eloped, things would be different now. In the same way, had I not married Eshan, things would have been different too.


    "Nothing would have happened then. Eshan would be happy in his life. People around him would be happy in their lives. Every time, I''m the one because of whom he gets involved in unpleasant things. His friends do not like me," I sobbed, recalling the time since I had married him.


    "Woof¡­ woof."


    Fortune jumped around barking and whining.


    "Are you standing up for your owner? Arjun?" I took a step ahead. The damn tears obscured my vision.


    "I now feel that he does not like me as well... His affection, his care¡­ everything seemed to be because of Eshan. I think he wants the happiness of his friend, thus he took me as his sister. I feel such a fool to think that people would accept me as I''m¡­"


    "I''m a fool right?"


    I snickered bitterly, sobbing to myself.


    Lost in the emotional turbulence, I failed to notice the big glass vase. My hand accidentally knocked it from the table.


    Crash.


    With a loud crash the vase fell on the floor before shattering into pieces. Broken pieces lying on the ground mocked me. My life had shattered into pieces too. My distorted reflection in some of the big pieces showed the reality of my present situation.


    "INNAYA¡­"


    "Hey, are you alright?"


    Eshan and Arjun rushed in. I was just in time to turn around and look at the approaching figure of them. I raised my hand asking them to stop. "Stay there. You''ll get hurt."


    Eshan blanched at my distinct tone. I could not be blamed, my emotions directed my behavior. Eshan shook his head but stepped forward nonetheless. He made sure to avoid broken pieces of glass.


    Within some moments he reached before me. He cupped my face, and rubbed my cheeks with the pad of his thumbs.


    "Are you okay? He asked again.

 Chapter 228 - I said, don’t touch me...

    |Eshan|


    "Don''t." Innaya roughly shoved away my hands from her face. That tear-drenched face of her broke my heart. I wanted to take her in my arms, comfort her.


    Arjun and I had heard what she said to Fortune. Listening to her talks made me realize how much she was affected. How sad she must have felt to talk it out with Fortune as if she had no one else who would listen to her. Perhaps, I made her feel that way.


    Had I gone overboard? Looked like the case. I should have explained things to her beforehand.


    My feet were frozen at the door as I heard her each word clearly and saw how much everything was hurting her. In a trance, I just stood there, hearing her talking about her pain. I even forgot to help her. My trance broke with the sound of the glass crashing on the floor, bringing me to the present.


    I looked at her, standing in the middle of broken glass pieces. She would get hurt if she stayed there. Hence, I rushed to her side. For a moment, she allowed me to get close to her. Her eyes filled with tears looked as if she was seeing some stranger.


    Her expressions then changed to that of anger.


    "Don''t touch me. Don''t dirty your hands. Your mother warned you, didn''t she? Listen to her¡­ Do not come to me." She backed up against the table, moving out of my reach as if she really believed my mother''s words.


    "Damn it. Don''t move." There were pieces of broken glasses all over. She would hurt herself. My mother''s words were too hurtful. I should have stopped her, but then we would not have gotten substantial proof to keep the mother-daughter pair behind the bars. No matter what, I should not have let her go through such a horrible experience. Then again, I was unaware myself.


    "Careful, you are going to hurt yourself," Arjun yelled from behind me. He came to stand two steps away from us. Innaya pushed herself in a corner, shivering and crying.


    "No¡­ Calm down." Arjun tried to take a step toward her.


    Innaya''s eyes snapped to him. She pointed her shaky finger at him, looking thoroughly disappointed. "You- you don''t get to say a word. I am at fault, right? Leave me to be. No, I''ll leave. Then all of you can be happy," she said through her sobs. She was not thinking properly.


    "Oh Innaya!" I wanted to take her in my arms. I could not watch her breaking down like this. It was unbearable.


    "I said, do not touch me," Innaya yelled frantically.


    I raised my hands in the air, taking a step back. "Okay¡­ okay. I won''t touch you. How about you get out of here. We''ll talk and sort out things." I kept my eyes on the shreds of glass near her feet. There was a big shred near her right feet, if she moved around carelessly she was bound to get hurt. How do I take her out of the corner?


    She had pushed herself to the corner in-between table and the wall. There was not enough space to move around, where I could take her away without letting her act carelessly.


    "Haha¡­ Talk? Sort? You mean to say- taunts, sarcastic remarks, accusations, hurtful words?" Innaya accused. Tears streamed down her face.


    I flinched. My own words came mocking in my face. Why did I have to be a jerk to her? I should have kept my anger to myself.


    "I-I''m sorry," I apologized, trying to formulate a plan in my head. Innaya was looking at me, so with my slipper clad feet, I slid the broken glass before me to the side, slowly. I did not wish to draw her attention to my action, least she got agitated.


    "No, I''m sorry. I brought bad luck to your life. I shouldn''t have agreed for this marriage," she muttered.


    "NO." I shook my head. "Don''t say that. D-don''t. You are not thinking clearly. Sweetheart, please, listen to me."


    "Yes, it''s always me. I don''t think clearly. Right, you are right," Innaya hiccuped, blaming herself. She looked down at her feet in a trance. "It is always me. I bring bad luck everywhere I go. My father was right. I ruined his life. I ruined my mother''s life¡­ and I ruined yours¡­ It is my fault," she whispered brokenly. Her breathing got labored, and she seemed to have difficulty breathing for her chest heaved uncontrollably as she sobbed.


    She was going to have a panic attack if this continued.


    No¡­ I could not let that happen.


    Something hard slipped in my palm, and I looked down to see the broom in my right hand. Arjun tapped my shoulder to act fast. He had at some point gotten hold of the broom. How he achieved that, I did not care. Right at the moment, I could not be any more thankful for it.


    I swept the floor before me, clearing the area before us. I threw down the broom and reached to the Innaya.


    The first thing, I did was to take her in my arms. "Sweetheart, calm down." My chest felt heavy as if a heavy rock was pressing it down. Watching her breaking down made me feel helpless, as well as worthless.


    "It''s not your fault. Do you hear me? It''s not your fault." I repeated as I rubbed her back.


    If anyone was at fault, then it had to be me. Despite knowing how stress affected her, I failed in keeping her away from the stress. Moreover, I ended up stressing all the more because of my anger, and thoughtlessness. I deserved getting beaten up.


    The whimpering sound coming from the door had me looking up. There stood mom, crying as she leaned on dad for the support. She pressed her fist on her lips to not make any sound. Dad shot me a furious glare.


    ***

 Chapter 229 - Lets just stop hurting each other...

    |Eshan|


    Mom turned around, and left the room while wiping her tears. I had never seen her cry. Growing up, I had never seen my mother losing control of her emotions. Handling the business with dad, she had always maintained her image of a tough, firm, and decisive businesswoman.


    It was only after Priyu was born that she chose to stay at home for us. Even then, she had always been a strong woman in my memory. Looking at her being emotional for Innaya, I did not know what to feel anymore. In the end, things started with her. Had she chosen a different way of dealing with the situation, we would not have been in this predicament.


    "Is this how you have looked after her?" Dad asked angrily.


    Withdrawing my gaze from the door, I lowered my head in guilt. It was the first time he was at my place, and he witnessed Innaya in such a condition. He was bound to get mad.


    "Help her lie down¡­" Dad said in a relatively calm tone when I failed to answer. Judging from his anger-filled eyes, it was unexpected from him to lower down his voice. "And get out of the room... Both of you."


    His abrupt order bewildered me. At first, I assumed he was being considerate of Innaya''s emotions, so he wanted to give me some time to take care of Innaya. However, his later words proved otherwise.


    I opened my mouth to disagree, but his one glare effectively cut down all my objections.


    Innaya whimpered in my chest. I tightened my arms around her. She was still struggling to breathe. She seemed to be still stuck in a haze, for she did not notice my presence. She still mumbled that it was her fault. With Arjun and dad present in the room, I could not continue holding her for longer. I turned around, shielding Innaya from their eyes as I rubbed her back, instructing her to breathe.


    After a couple of tries, Innaya regained her breathing. She still heaved, but the foreshadowing clouds of the panic attack were dispelled. I could take a sigh of relief. With sleeves of my shirt, I wiped down her forehead where beads of sweat were glistening.


    Innaya''s eyes were closed, but a couple of tears still leaked from her closed eyelids. After wiping her forehead, I tenderly cleaned the tears from her face. Innaya did not struggle but stayed quiet as if still reeling in the aftereffect.


    Bending down a little, I picked her up.


    So light. How much weight she had lost?


    Again, the wave of guilt hit me. We both suffered because of our own insecurities, and the deep-drawn plot of enemies. Things certainly would not have turned out this way, had my mother trusted me.


    I blinked as Innaya unconsciously gripped the collar of my shirt in her small fist.


    "Dad, she needs to freshen up. Please, wait outside for a while," I said with my back turned to them. Avoiding the broken pieces of glass, I had missed sweeping to the side in my haste, I entered the bathroom.


    I knew Innaya would not prefer others seeing her in such a condition. She had taken time to open up, and share about her past with me. If she realized that my parents saw her this way, she would not know how to face them. It was best to take her away for the time being.


    ***


    |Innaya|


    Well, it happened again.


    I lost control over my emotions, and let my fear take control. I forgot what I said, and what I did. Sometimes, I wondered why I always ended up doing something completely opposite of what I wanted.


    I heard Eshan''s voice after I felt his presence. I could always sense him. It sounded weird, but it was the case. Subconsciously I moved closer to him when I felt my feet losing contact with the floor.


    Sound of the door closing had me open my wet eyes. Well, the task was a little tricky because my eyelashes seemed to have glued themselves to each other, making it hard for me to open them. Even after opening my eyes after a little struggle, it took me a while longer to look properly.


    The first thing to come in front of my eyes was Eshan''s concerned eyes. Also, were they unshed tears I spotted in his eyes? Eshan blinked, and they were gone. Just like that.


    "Are you okay?" he asked.


    Squinting my eyes, I brought up the back of my palm to rub my nose. It felt itchy and irritated. "How about I help you get to freshen up? Later we''ll eat and then¡­ talk."


    I looked around. We were in the bathroom. Right. He said he would help me. Wait a moment, he had left, and I was on my own. I had covered quite a distance while talking with Fortune. How did Eshan carry me to the bathroom then?


    Stressing my brain to think about what had happened, I bit my lower lip. The vase... Eshan... Arjun... Then it all came back to me. I shook my head. It was not how I wanted the conversation to go. Alas! There was no turning back now.


    "Put me down. I''ll manage," I said as I tried to think of a way to sort out the outcome of my action. Honestly, what I said must have bothered Eshan. I did not want to consider Arjun''s feelings at the moment. Eshan''s face ladened with guilt, his concerned eyes, and his choked speech, everything came back to me.


    "No." Eshan shook his head. "You''ll hurt yourself. Sit here, I''ll help you." He carefully placed me down on the stool before the basin. I had no energy to protest. I just sat there, recalling what I had said in my muddled state.


    Nothing was a lie. Everything came from my heart- honest, bitter truth. Somehow, I felt lonely again. The feeling was somewhere alike to one I had back then after my father had tried to kill me.


    "Here." Eshan brought a wet napkin to clean my face. I looked at the damp sleeves of his shirt. Oh! I ruined his shirt. I held his wrist when he brought the towel close to my face.


    Eshan''s face fell. He looked at my fingers, they were curled around his wrist. I pulled my hand back.


    "I want to take a bath."


    "No, you can''t take the one. Your leg... it shouldn''t be wet, and you can''t put pressure on it."


    Eshan crouched down before me on his toes. He reached out and took my hands in his. "I''m sorry." He wiped the right side of my face with a small wet napkin. His thumb of left palm stroked small circles on the back of my palm.


    "Let''s just stop hurting each other."


    I stayed silent, looking at his thumb.


    Was it that easy?

 Chapter 230 - I did not tell Karan anything.

    |Eshan|


    A look of disbelief flashed across Innaya''s face as she chuckled bitterly. I could understand her. It was I who was hurting her the most with my words and aloofness. Had I tried harder, we would not have ended in such a predicament.


    "I know it is not easy, but it''s not that difficult either." I moved the napkin to the other side of her face. Her eyes did not leave mine for a bit while she stared at me seriously.


    "I''m stupid. I admit it. However, you can''t fault me for my feelings. The same way, I can''t fault you for yours. Both of us did something, which could have been avoided." I sighed. " I know after what I put you through, you might not want to trust me again." I looked away, pulling my hand back from her face.


    Deep down, I always felt that this incident was going to leave a huge gap in our relationship. And, it worried me to think about what she would choose. The moment I came to know the truth behind this vicious scheme, and what they have done to her, I wanted to rush to her. Holding her in my arms, I yearned to erase all hurt from her heart.


    What if she left me? The whole incident was too much to bear for her fragile self. She had recovered from her childhood trauma with the help of grandpa, and then I placed her through another one.


    "Are you saying that you don''t want to trust me again?" She asked, trying to take her hand back. My heart dropped, she again misunderstood my words. The guilt of disappointing her and grandpa resurfaced in my mind again. I held onto her hand, refusing to let go.


    "No. I meant what I said. There is no different or alternative or hidden meaning to it. I would always trust you..." I earnestly confessed.


    Innaya shook her head, sadness reflected in her eyes. "You did not. You thought I was influenced by Karan. You thought I was hiding things because of him¡­ You thought I-"


    I regretted uttering any word. She was misunderstanding me again. But, then the anger returned with what she said.


    Karan.


    He had everything to do with how things went wrong between us. I focussed on the woman sitting before me rather than letting my thoughts go to him. If I let my mind think about him, I knew I would lose control over my emotions. I did not want that. Not when I could see what losing control did to Innaya.


    In the morning I had lost control, and that had resulted in hurting her.


    "Shh¡­ Don''t get upset." I stood up and rubbed her back, pulling her to my waist. I did not want her to sink back in panic. Innaya did not struggle, but I could sense the unwillingness from her.


    "It''s not how you are thinking it to be. Try and put yourself in my shoes and then tell me, was I wrong?" For once and all, we should get done with this topic. Stretching it like rubber, again and again, over and over- was only creating misunderstanding and causing us pain.


    "We don''t have any issues between us, we''re happy in our worlds. Then I go on a business trip, and bam- nothing is same. My wife hides things from me. My wife lies to me. My wife is missing for one whole day, and when we finally get in contact, she lies to me again. For one whole month, I try to find what went wrong. Tell me, what was I supposed to do?" I asked helplessly, rubbing her hair.


    The feeling of running my fingers through those dark, long tresses calmed down my troubled heart for a moment. Getting things off of my chest was a little rewarding as I could feel the burden on my soul easing bit by bit.


    "You won''t tell me what happened.- These were Karan''s words. And, he was right. You didn''t tell me." I sighed sadly.


    How much I wanted to prove Karan wrong. I thought there was nothing Innaya would share with others and would not tell me. In the end, things turned out differently. Innaya refused to admit anything, siding with Karan.


    Perhaps it was jealousy, or it might be a disappointment. These emotions kept building up for a long time before I lost it today. Being bitter, sarcastic, or hurt her was not what I wanted, but I ultimately did that.


    Innaya stiffened in my arms. She pushed at my chest. Reluctantly, I allowed her to. I had said my piece. I should give her a chance.


    "When did Karan tell you that?" Innaya asked.


    "The day it happened."


    Innaya gasped.


    "I could not stomach the fact that you would believe him, and share your worries with him, keeping me in dark." I looked away, taking a step back.


    Innaya held onto my wrist, stopping me effectively. "I did not tell Karan anything."


    "What?" My eyes went wide. "You did not tell him anything? Then why? Oh my! He lied to me. He played with me... Damn."


    I ran my hands through my hair, pacing in the space between the bathtub and Innaya. "How could I fall for his provocations? Just how could?


    "Eshan," Innaya called my name. Her voice pulled me out of my ranting.


    "I''m sorry. I''m so sorry." I kneeled before her, holding onto her arms. "I did not want to believe his words. I did not, but then when-" you did not explain, I started believing him. The rest of the words died on my lips.


    I should not be telling her.


    "Eshan, what did he tell you?" Innaya cupped my face. She made me face her as she leaned down a bit.


    "I don''t care what he told you, but I can swear on anything that I did not share anything with him. He knows nothing... You hear me?"

 Chapter 231 - Why can’t you think about yourself?

    |Innaya|


    We gave chance to others to create misunderstandings between us. If not for us lacking in communication, such a wide gap would not appear in-between us. Of course, I should not deny that I had given them that chance. Had Karan not found me that day, the current misunderstanding would never have happened.


    Karan had threatened me that day, saying he would call Eshan. But, I had not divulged any information about what had happened. I had just made an excuse of missing grandpa and Eshan. He had bought my lies. Perhaps, he had acted that day before me because after hearing Eshan say that Karan had contacted him, I realized it was nothing but an act. Act to deceive me.


    "Eshan, I did not tell him anything," I emphasized again, taking his face in my hands. He repeatedly apologized, muttering things. Caressing his jaw with my thumb, I raised his face. He stopped his apology, staring blankly at me.


    "What''s between us will always stay between us," I confessed, looking in those brown eyes filled with tears. Leaning down, I touched his forehead with mine. I closed my eyes.


    "I believe you. It''s just that- forget it." Eshan shook his head before he went silent.


    Suddenly I felt like laughing. So much or heartache, so much of pain, so much of struggle, so much of hurting each other¡­ for what? What did we gain out of it? What did we achieve? The truth about this whole fiasco was still a mystery to me. I wanted to know. While staying like this, so close to him, connected, I had an impulse to forget everything. But, then it would come to haunt me sometime later in the future.


    "When did you plan this thing out? Your mother-" I stopped abruptly. I had no idea what thoughts I harbored about his mother.


    Eshan held my hands on his cheeks before bringing them down and pulled his head back. At the loss of contact, I opened my eyes.


    Interlocking his fingers with my own, he raised our joined hands close to his face. His soft lips brushed across my palm, giving rise to a feeling I could not name. It had to be the most ridiculous thing, that we were sorting our problems in the bathroom. There were so many places in this big house where we could have sat comfortably, but in the end, things had to turn out this way.


    "I was never part of her plan. I got a clear picture of everything today," Eshan said.


    "Then what about Karan?" I asked.


    That madman had still gone ahead and called Eshan, despite clearly telling him not to. Knowing information from a person who had once kidnapped his wife would not sound good to anyone. They even had deep unsolved disputes in-between them. Ah! Had I known Karan would create more troubles, I would have smashed things in his house.


    Eshan shook his head. "We''ll talk about everything later. Let''s get you cleaned up. Mom and dad are waiting for us," he replied, choosing to not start Karan''s topic now.


    His parents? I had forgotten about them. Why were they waiting for us?


    "Waiting for us? I-I¡­" I stammered clenching and unclenching my fist.


    Eshan smiled, patting on my arms. "Don''t worry. They won''t hurt you. But, I can''t say the same about me. I might end up receiving a good beating and earful of a lecture from dad," Eshan smiled as he stood up.


    The nervousness of meeting my in-laws and in such kind of situation made me feel jittery. How would I face the woman, who had called me characterless?


    Those accusations, those hurting words, those scornful eyes looking at me with disgust, it all came to me. And, those photos? How could I forget about them? I panicked. Even matter of my supposedly alleged affair could be handle once, but if those manipulated nude shots were to be get publicized... everything would be over.


    "Eshan, those photos¡­" I gripped his shirt. Recalling that nude photo sent shivers down my spine. We knew the truth, but others did not. What if people post the photo on the internet. In this era of technology, manipulating things was a child''s play. I shuddered involuntarily thinking about the consequences.


    My trembling body was engulfed, and I could feel Eshan''s warmth holding me in his embrace. Wrapping my hands around his waist, I clasped them behind his back. The severity of the situation was making it hard for me to breathe. I breathed deeply, telling myself to calm down.


    "Aah¡­" I flinched in pain when Eshan rubbed his palm on my shoulder. It was the place where I had gotten hit by the purse.


    "What''s wrong?"


    "N-Nothing." I stammered.


    "Innaya? We should stop hiding things from each other," Eshan said.


    I looked down, guiltily. If I told him about the reason why it hurt, would he not get angry at his mother?


    Before I could decide what I would do, Eshan walked behind me. I did not realize when he took hold of the zipper of the dress, pulled it down all the way to my waist.


    I gasped, feeling startled when a cold air greeted my bare flesh. What was he doing? What situation was we in? Was today called- ''weirdest day?''


    He pressed his warm palm on the unconcealed skin of my back, abruptly breaking all my thoughts. The skin to skin contact, when he could see my almost bare back sent shivers through my spine.


    "Stop moving around."


    Eshan sounded crestfallen, and his palm exerted a little more force than before. "You should have let the nurse take a look."


    "It''s nothing." I shook my head, reaching for his palm on my back. I patted it twice. It should be nothing more than some slight abrasion. While I secretly wished he could take his hand, and his eyes away. Quite often if we got hit, the place would be painful for a while. Here, his mother had used full force while throwing her clutch at Fortune.


    "It''s bleeding," Eshan said.


    "Oh!" Why would it bleed? I frowned. Why Eshan''s mother would try to hurt Fortune puzzled me.


    "Why can''t you think about yourself?" Eshan grumbled. His fingertips moved around in a leisure manner across my skin.


    "I have you to think about me," I replied even before realizing. The answer came naturally. I had him. No one in this world would think and care about me as much as he did.


    "You¡­ forget it. Stay here, I''ll take care of it."


    "You''ve to take care of a lot of things," I whispered, recalling the mess that was still unsorted.


    ***


    unedited

 Chapter 232 - Insecure

    Slightly Mature Content (16+): Please read it at your own risk.


    ***


    |Innaya|


    "I''m sorry about my mother''s behavior. She had her reasons," Eshan took out the medical kit from the cabinet below the sink, "which I do not approve of," he admitted without missing a beat.


    I nodded silently. I did not approve of her actions as well. Whatever, reasons she might have had, hurting an animal, hurting another human being- it was so wrong. I could never bring myself to do so to someone else. How people managed that was beyond me. It was disgusting to even think of.


    "You said, she doesn''t like pets¡­ but why would she want to hurt Fortune?" I frowned, watching his serious face cleaning the small wound carefully. I had been through a lot. This minor injury was nothing compared to it, yet his concern was touching. He reminded me of grandpa in so many aspects. Grandpa would also take care of the smallest of my wound in a serious fashion. Both men treated me like a fragile child who needed someone to look after her.


    Eshan wiped the area with cotton dipped in disinfectant. His fingers moved nimbly and accurately. Perhaps staying with me made him pro in taking care of wounds. I would get hurt so easily that even I started wondering if I sleepwalked. It was not humanly possible for


    "This is a long story. You better listen to it from Mom because I don''t know it that well," Eshan replied. He then put a bandaid on the wound. "It''s done." He patted on my unharmed shoulder. The small touch reminded me of my bare skin. Eshan behaved as if this was not different. While on the other hand, I could not help but feel the heat rising in my face.


    "Okay."


    I thought he would then pull up the zipper. Eshan did not. "You''re right. You need a bath, but I don''t think that''s a good idea. So you''ll have to do with a sponge bath."


    Sponge bath? My eyes went wide at his suggestion which sounded like a declaration to me. His fingers moved in a gentle caress across my skin before he started rubbing my nape with his thumb, the rest of his fingers cupped my neck while the tip of his index finger moved across my throat.


    W-what?


    I held his wandering fingers, for the simple action started making my eyes drop in shyness. "I''ll handle it. You can leave," I said trying to calm down my heart, which decided to suddenly jump in my chest.


    "You know, I''ve thought a lot in the past month." Eshan used his left hand, reaching for the center of my spine. I sucked in a sharp breath as my spine straightened up.


    "A-about what?" My teeth clamped onto my lower lip, chewing them in nervousness. The rollercoaster ride my fate had placed me in, seemed to be running in a big circle. Currently, my position could be considered at the highest point of the gigantic circular ring with my whole body hanging upside and down. The feeling of being up there, and anytime coming crashing down, caused butterflies of anxiety to rise in the pit of my stomach.


    After having seen unexpected events of situations that went out of control within a snap of fingers, I honestly did not know what to expect from the present case.


    Eshan drew small circles in the center of my spine, leaning down he placed his chin on my right shoulder, this caused his fingers to press more into the side of my neck.


    "Us. I thought why would you not be confident enough to come to me when you ran into a problem. I thought, why would you choose to hide things?"


    My eyes helplessly ran across the tiles, taking my thoughts along. I found it a little hard to concentrate on his words for his small actions were building a storm.


    "I had almost gone berserk imagining what was worrying you so much. Why you didn''t trust me? I now understood the answer. The reason behind your silence¡­" Eshan softly blew air in my ear, it tickled. In response, my eyes closed, I moved my head reflexively pressing the right side of my face on my shoulder.


    However, Eshan blocked my action with his lips, pressing his lips to my cheek. His hand on my spine stopped moving, and in the next second my eyes flew open.


    Eshan''s hands left the places they were occupying before they both sneaked inside from the sides of my waist through the open dress. They did not stay there, instead, they crawled forward, slowly yet speedily, gently yet firmly igniting a trail of fire across my skin an inch at a time. His large palms finally stopped at my front, clasping on my stomach while his lips trailed lower, sideways, and forward.


    My brain stopped functioning. My heart started going into overdrive.


    The direct skin contact, and intimacy which felt first caused goosebumps to erupt across my skin.


    "That I did not assure you well of our relationship. After knowing about those divorce papers, I guess you somewhere had thought about us not being together. You thought of leaving me, or you thought I would leave you¡­ Maybe, you would not have thought it that way, but deep down, you were- insecure. Perhaps, the reason you could not open up completely had to do something with us not being one in every sense," Eshan said, almost hugging me from the back, plastering his firm chest to my back.


    Outside, my body stayed silent being obedient without having much of reaction while inside every single cell was getting out of control, almost causing me to hyperventilate.


    Eshan''s words were too direct. His actions were too bold. That low voice of his, murmuring against the corner of my lips, his nose sliding across the skin, rubbing against my nose¡­ I did not know what to do anymore.

 Chapter 233 - Let’s start again.

    Warning Slightly Mature Content:


    ***


    |Innaya|


    "Am I making you uncomfortable?" Eshan whispered near my lips as his fingers traced meaningless patterns across my stomach. My eyes closed on their own accord, feeling his face being so close to me. Also, his butterfly-like touch, trailing across my skin as the dragonfly skims across the water, created ripples of exhilaration.


    "Innaya?" Eshan skimmed his nose on the side of my face, rather enjoying my helpless condition of putting me a spot where I was losing my ability to think. I could think about nothing else but Eshan.


    "H-huh?"


    I lost all the rationality. His closeness did weird things to me. Locked in such confined space, unable to move much because of the swollen ankle, and rendered speechless because of his advances¡­ I forgot to speak.


    My voice, just like the coin thrown in the vast ocean, was lost. I did not even dare to find it, for I knew it was worthless.


    Silent.


    Too silent.


    The air in the room had turned into some kind of impending pressure, which felt oppressing as well as relieving at the same time.


    "Sweetheart. Why are you so silent?" Eshan said again, leaving yet another kiss on my cheek. He chuckled a bit, that low sound of his entered my ears earning a fluttering glance from me.


    "Leave it. I''ll speak to our child." Eshan caressed my stomach.


    Child?


    That broke the spell Eshan was casting with his bewitching voice, and paralyzing actions.


    "Child? What child?" From over the clothes I held his wandering hands, stopping them from raking havoc over my consciousness. He knew better than anyone else. I was not pregnant. Why had he brought that topic downstairs? Why was he bringing it again?


    Eshan had mentioned that to his mother. And, at that point, she had said that I should abort-."


    No. No. I did not want to think about it. I shook my head, trying to throw that thought, her words out of my memory and mind.


    Just thinking about murdering the child which was non-existent, I could not even breathe. The feeling of dread crawled across my body, making me feel the fright that I had felt early. My whole body stiffened.


    "Hey, what''s wrong?" Eshan withdrew his hands and walked to the front from behind me. Stopping by my side, he then cupped my face. "Are you thinking about Mom''s words?"


    I nodded absentmindedly, gripping my stomach as if hiding from the world, even Eshan.


    Eshan sucked in a sharp breath on noticing my sudden action.


    "I won''t let any harm come to you and our children. Not now, and not in the future. Do you hear me? I won''t let any harm touch you. Innaya, trust me."


    Those brown orbs similar to the molten chocolate stared deep in my eyes. Staring intently in the pool of the sincere love they offered, slowly his steadfast feelings regarding the words he spoke broke through the cloud of uncertainty and fear around me.


    Eshan squatted before me, his palm going for my stomach. This time, I watched curiously what he wanted to do, without moving my gaze from his face. Hypnotized, I noticed a plethora of emotions flashing across his face.


    His eyes twinkled with the excitement of discovering a precious thing. His lips stretched in a wide grin that showed his undisguised happiness. His face shone with gentle tenderness which he did not mask. Was that how he would behave in the future when there would be an actual baby in there? Was he waiting so eagerly for his child?


    Just those emotions dancing on his face made me want to fulfill his wish. If having a child meant that I could give him this happiness, then I wanted to do it. For him. For Eshan.


    It looked like he wanted to say something, but in the end, he remained silent. Eshan blinked, withdrawing his hand.


    "Let''s carry on with the task in hand. We can always discuss this matter in the future. We have time." he said, bringing his hands on my shoulders.


    I grasped his hand, coming out of the thoughts of the future. Yes, we could always discuss the matter in the future. I became aware of my state. If he moved his hands a little carelessly, the dress would fall as the zip was undone.


    "Can you step out? I need to use the washroom," I said. I needed a moment to calm down my rapidly beating heart.


    Eshan smiled. "Want to send me away?"


    I averted my eyes from his face. That was my intention. I could hardly handle this side of his.


    His hands trailed on my shoulders, ready to push down the dress hanging on them. I immediately held his hands. "W-what are you doing?"I stammered.


    "Was not that you, who said I could see you," he paused deliberately, "without the veil of the clothes."


    My mouth dropped in shock. I was transported back to the day he left for his trip. Every small detail of our six month wedding anniversary was etched in my memory. We were so happy that day. On the next day, everything was ruined, as the wheel of time had spun, throwing us in the dark abyss with no return.


    "Don''t be sad. Let''s start again. We''ll erase this painful month from our memory. How about, let''s say while sending me from our home you slipped on the staircase. Watching you in pain, my heart ached. I couldn''t bear to leave you all alone and in pain. So, ignoring all swarming calls, I canceled the business trip at the last moment," Eshan said, his eyes hopeful.


    "And, then I took you to the hospital. We quarreled a bit because your HB dropped. You''re angry at me for scolding you. Your brother appears to support you and scold me. Returning back, we got a surprise visit from dad and mom. How does it sound?" He raised his eyebrow questioningly.


    ***

 Chapter 234 - Are you shameless?

    Warning Mature content ahead (Read at your own risk)


    ***


    |Innaya|


    His words of starting all over again, forgetting everything as if it had never happened, sounded too good to ears. All the hurt, despair we both went through, could we forget it all? Perhaps his suggestion was not too bad. I should consider his suggestion.


    "And, why are we in the bathroom when your family is out?" I asked.


    "Because I can''t leave my beautiful wife to struggle alone when she needs my help. Can I?" Eshan replied cheekily.


    "Who needs your help? I can manage on my own. The door is that way." I pointed at the door.


    Eshan being the stubborn man, ignored my words, but his face turned serious. "I''m being serious, Innaya. You can''t move much, at least not for two days. Wait till the swelling reduces, then you can do as you please, not now. Right now you aren''t feeling pain because of the meds, but once the effect wears off¡­" he knowingly dropped the sentence, glancing at my leg. "So, let me help you."


    Without giving me a chance, Eshan suddenly uncovered my shoulders removing the dress. My hands went to hold the dress at my chest. "What are you doing?"


    "Are you uncomfortable?" He raised his eyebrow, still holding the sleeves on my forearms.


    "Y-you, you¡­" I looked away, still crossing my arms across my chest. I knew my face was turning rapidly red at his insistence.


    Eshan chuckled again. That ticked me off. "Are you shy?"


    "Are you shameless?" I retorted. I moved my gaze across space before me. There was nothing I could use in my defense.


    "I can be the one if you want me to be," he replied cheekily.


    "Huff¡­" I huffed.


    Eshan slid the sleeves down, uncovering my shoulder blades. "Alright. Let me take off your dress-"


    "Hey! What do you want to do? I-I''m telling you, my leg is hurt," I said a little nervously. His words of going back to the day before one month brought back vivid memories.


    "I know. That is why we won''t do anything excessive. But we can always play around a bit."


    My jaw went slack as I stared at the man before me. Who was he? What had he done to my Eshan?


    My hands dropped to my sides.


    Taking advantage of my stunned self, Eshan took off the dress completely, leaving my upper half only in the black bra.


    When the cold air hit my bare skin, I wondered whether this was a dream or reality. After letting the dress fall on my lap, Eshan turned around and went to the bathtub. "Stop being so awkward around me. If it worries you that much, I''ll take my clothes off."


    Unbuttoning his shirt, he took it off followed by his white vest. The broad muscular back greeted me, giving me a clear view of his slightly tanned skin.


    Bending down at his waist, he switched on the water and adjusted the temperature. Leisurely he waited for the tub to be filled.


    At this point, I did not even think to pull up my dress. His attention was focussed somewhere else. If I wanted, I would have easily dressed, but somehow I could not. I just could not bring myself to move.


    The entrapment of his words was too strong for me to get out of it unscathed.


    ***


    |Eshan|


    I had never planned to use the intimate approach with Innaya in our present situation. It just happened. One moment we were talking about Karan, and then the focus shifted to her injury. Mom should not have hurt her like this.


    I still had to hear her explanation, but I felt guilty on her behalf. On my watch, Innaya was hurt. That small cut against her ivory skin with little dried blood showed me the unfairness she had gone through. I sighed.


    While dressing it, something came over me. I never voiced it, but in the confinement of my study room, I would often tire myself thinking about why and what went wrong in-between us. Until one time it came back to me about the insecurity she might be facing.


    For a married couple, the best security one could give was the sense of belongingness and right to depend upon. Somewhere, I failed in giving Innaya both.


    Thinking, we should take our relationship slower, building trust and comfort, somewhere I lacked in maintaining the pace of our relationship. Not that I blamed Innaya for not being supportive. She had always been supportive, trusting my words.


    However, her PTSD made her a little different from her emotional needs. Still, after going through such a situation, where the people closest to me had hurt her, she chose to stand by me. How could I disappoint her?


    I would not disappoint her, so I chose the direct approach of letting her feel the sense of belonging. If her leg had not been hurt, I might have gone ahead with a rather bold approach. However, considering her condition, I just showed her a little demo. In the future, starting from today I was going to make sure that she never felt insecure about our relationship.


    My actions might be extensive, but sometimes extreme situations require extensive measures.


    Innaya looked flabbergasted with the sudden change in my actions. So, I gave her a little time, turning away from her.


    A smile came across my lips. Innaya''s feelings as transparent as water made my heart drop before beating at a pace that made me feel as if I had run miles of distance without any break.


    Adjusting my emotions, once the water was sufficiently warm I walked back to Innaya. She was still in the same condition. Until now, I had maintained my distance regarding certain physical aspects, never invading her privacy without her consent.


    However, this had led to the unpleasant feeling of insecurity in her heart regarding our relationship. I would never repeat that mistake again.

 Chapter 235 - I aint taking any revenge

    WARNING: MATURE CONTENT AHEAD READ AT YOUR OWN RISK


    ***


    |Innaya|


    Eshan''s walking style resembled a model, walking on a ramp. Self-aware, full of confidence, he took a step at a time.


    I did not recall seeing him without his clothes. Had I ever seen him bare? I wondered, trying to think of the time we have spent together. Perhaps I was getting amnesia. Those well-defined muscles looked as if he had spent a lot of time refining them. Eshan''s tall, lean body was maintained in beautiful shape.


    But, why had I not seen him going to the gym?


    Being his wife, no one knew his schedule better than me. Then how did I not know about it?


    He ate everything- sweet, oily, salty food full of spices. Still, his body shape could give complex to many men out there. Coupled with that handsome face with a smile that sent many hearts in frenzy, his intentions did not look pure to me.


    Getting close to me, he abruptly bent down by my side. "Why are you so stunned, sweetheart?" Eshan asked, placing one hand underneath my thighs and one behind my back.


    "W-what are you doing?" I shrank back on the stool, but that only pushed me further in his hold.


    "Sponge bath? Did we not agree to that?" he said innocently, giving me a small.


    "NO¡­"


    "No? Why don''t I recall you protesting? Huh?" Eshan brought his face closer to mine, glancing at my lips.


    "I-I..." I looked at his face. My eyes went to his beautiful lips, looming over mine. I then again looked at his eyes that were following me. The heat radiating from his body distracted me, earning another look from me.


    I gulped, suddenly feeling my throat going dry. Water. Yes, I needed water. But, I had just drunk half a bottle after coming from the hospital.


    Then, were those butterflies fluttering in my stomach?


    No.


    How could there be butterflies? I must be feeling hungry to have that kind of feeling.


    No.


    That could also not be the case. The sandwich and pomegranate juice wouldn''t have been digested so early? Then what was fluttering in there?


    Was I getting sick?


    Umm...


    Could anyone explain what was happening to me?


    Somebody, please help!


    Eshan''s eyes held mirth. His smile broadened. Holding my gaze, he leaned further before his lips brushed against mine in a seemingly fleeting manner.


    I sucked in sharply at the abrupt kiss I received.


    Eshan pulled back before diving in again, brushing his lips over mine for a moment before backing again a little.


    I frowned, missing his kiss. Where was that soul scorching kisses, which provided a comforting warmth?


    These kisses of his were frustrating.


    He repeated the same for a couple of times, making me baffled more.


    "Uhu¡­" I whined unconsciously when Eshan pulled back repeatedly.


    Eshan chuckled, enjoying my frustration.


    I almost glared at him. Was he taking some kind of revenge on me? For all the sufferings of the last month, was this his way of getting back at me? My eyes widened at the thought.


    "No. I ain''t taking any revenge. I can''t," Eshan whispered, brushing his lips on mine once again.


    How did he know what was on my mind?


    When did he develop the ability to read others'' minds?


    Eshan seemingly looked enamored with my torment as he gazed at me with a twinkle in his eyes.


    I brought my hands upwards, pushing at his chest. I did not like the feeling of loss.


    Eshan''s eyes darkened. He glanced down at me before he dived down, this time not stopping at only brushing. His hand left my back, crawling toward my neck before holding my nape. Before leaving for the washroom, I had tied my hair in a messy bun. That provided Eshan easy access, but his fingers while going to my nape, left a burning trail on my uncovered back.


    Eshan tugged at my lower lip with his teeth, pulling it in his mouth. He sucked at it- slowly, carefully, and then little passionately. The left hand below my thighs disappeared. I felt a movement before the nerves in my belly contorted when he placed it there.


    He freed my lower lip after a while before going for the left out one, replicating the same with it. His moist tongue would occasionally dart out, licking the soft skin, caressing it.


    I reached out for his neck, wounding my hands around his head. Completely lost in his kiss, I forgot the underdressed condition of mine. This feeling, this kiss¡­ something was different about it. Amazingly, mesmerizingly, almost addictingly different¡­


    "Uhh¡­ mmm¡­"Surprisingly I made a sound that closely resembled the sound of pleasure I would make after relishing my favorite sweets.


    And, then I actually forgot everything. Eshan continued kissing me with passion. Tears started forming in the back of my eyes. I shut my eyes, not wishing to cry. It might look pathetic to cry because of a kiss, but this time we had nothing obstructing us from expressing our true feelings.


    The burden of keeping things to myself was lifted off from my chest as I lost my senses in the love Eshan showered over me.


    That was our fourth kiss since the morning. In addition to this, each one had a different meaning behind it. The reasons behind them were different as well.


    Knock.


    Maybe my senses were quite alert because I did not want to cry out. Thus I heard the sudden knock on the bathroom door. Loosening my hold on his neck, I brought my hands to his shoulders, ready to push him away. Eshan beat me to that for his hands left me, and went to hold mine, locking my wrist in his grip.


    His lips continued moving, pushing, caressing, sucking.


    "Knock, knock. Are you both sleeping in there?" Arjun sarcastically said from the other side of the door.


    Immediately, I broke the kiss at Arjun''s voice. Eshan pulled back but did not get away from me. He still kept holding me, and I felt his hold tightening on me.


    "Hey, why is there no sound anymore?" Arjun mused.


    Fl.u.s.tered I glanced down at the floor, adjusting my breathing. His kisses always made me run out of breaths.


    "Don''t tell me that they fled from the bathroom window. Eshan, don''t you dare run away with my sister. I''m telling you-"


    "Shut up!" Eshan yelled out, glaring at the door.


    Arjun''s words made me smile despite my embarrassment.


    "Oh! You''re still in there. Now be a good boy and bring my sister out. We''re waiting for her. Uncle has cooked the feast for his dear daughter-in-law- oops, sorry! Daughter, for his daughter, and you''re not going to taste anything. Fasting for one week is your punishment. Haha... I love uncle!" Arjun laughed. I could imagine the smirk dancing on his lips while he enjoyed tormenting Eshan.

 Chapter 236 - I’ll take my pants off as well-

    WARNING: SLIGHTLY MATURE CONTENT


    ***


    |Innaya|


    Cooked for me? And, what was with the term ''daughter''? I barely knew my father-in-law. His face was blurred in my memories. I had barely exchanged words with him at my engagement, apart from taking his blessings. At our marriage, things happened in a rush. We had very little time to get accustomed to each other.


    I had been at fault for not reaching out to my in-laws. How the past seven months went was a true mystery. One thing or another kept me occupied, but I should have made a little effort. I had never heard of any father-in-law cooking for his daughter-in-law who remained aloof to them. A wave of discomfort made me unsettled. Though the difference between us was vast, yet the elderly man took the initiative and put me above his son.


    The action of his truly moved me.


    Only after meeting them, knowing their side of the story, and sorting this situation, I could reach the proper conclusion on where our relationship stood. If there was truly a misunderstanding, I would work hard to make up for all the mistakes, and distance from my side.


    "Get out of here, Arjun. We''ll be down soon," Eshan answered, sighing heavily on my shoulder. His warm breath tickled my earlobe. He successfully pulled me out of thoughts revolving around my in-laws.


    Surprisingly, Arjun made no more remarks, and soon the outside area fell silent. That was unlike Arjun, but the man holding me made me forgot about Arjun and focus on our current position.


    "Looks like we need to finish quickly. Never mind. We''ll continue this later," Eshan whispered in my ear.


    His lips grasped the end of my earlobe. Drawing it in his mouth, his moist tongue played around with it a bit. I never knew earlobes could be this sensitive, for I felt my insides starting to react with feelings I was quite unfamiliar with.


    I tried to take back my hands from his hold, which Eshan refused to. He would occasionally caress my skin. A little later, he released my earlobe. By then, I was sure that my face was a deep shade of red.


    "Ah!" I shrieked with a surprise when Eshan nibbled with his teeth on the skin of my earlobe, biting it gently.


    "Hey, if you''re hungry then eat food. What are you biting my flesh for?!" I exclaimed at his weirdness, a little shyly.


    Eshan laughed, shaking his head. "Haha¡­"


    "Stop dawdling¡­ Be quick you snail," Arjun remarked haughtily.


    I almost slid down from the stool at Arjun''s voice. I looked around suspiciously. Why was he still here?


    Woof. Woof. Woof¡­


    Aaoooo¡­


    Fortune barked followed by a cry of whine. Arjun knocked on the door."See, even Fortune is tired of waiting."


    "Let''s get done with our work, shall we?" Eshan stood straight, caressing my hair. He totally ignored his friends who stood guard on the door. He seemed to be keen on maintaining physical contact with me. From the moment we entered the bathroom, his actions clearly displayed it.


    "And, stop feeling shy. We''re married, this is only natural." Eshan picked me up and placed me on the slab beside the sink. His fingers taking liberties as they moved along my bare collarbone. "Unless you''re uncomfortable," he added before backing away, giving me his full smile.


    I reciprocated his smile without even realizing it. Eshan then picked up the stool, walked a couple of steps, and placed it beside the bathtub. Squeezing an almond cream and hibiscus body wash gel in the half-filled tub, he dipped his hand in the water, mixing the gel in the water. His shoulders stretched out, and his firm back moved with his movements.


    Mesmerized, I watched each and every careful action. Honestly, there was no need to pamper me so much. Who would have expected this day to turn out this way? So much had happened, and so much was happening.


    My dress still sat loosely on my waist. Glancing further down, the sprain cast looked awful on the swollen ankle. It was all my fault. Had I not been so stupid to twist and sprain my ankle, this situation would not have arisen.


    "What are you thinking about?" Eshan asked, coming towards me.


    I shook my head. Though my ankle hurt, and my movements would be restricted for the week or two, taking in improvement in our relationship, perhaps it was not that bad.


    "How about you give me a towel? I''ll clean myself," I said, extending a hand for the towel in his hand.


    I needed a bath because my whole body was covered in sweat. I had not done anything extensive. However, the drama that had unfolded had made me perspire heavily, to the point that my whole body was drenched in the sweat. Besides, there was that medicinal smell on my body. I could not tolerate it.


    Eshan understood it well. Thus, he did not object to me taking one. He just insisted on giving one. That twisted the situation.


    "Am I not accompanying you? I''ve even taken off my shirt for you¡­ Do you think this is not enough? I''ll take my pants off as well-"


    "Eshan." I gasped at his bold words.


    His fingers went to his buckle, a mischievous smile danced on his slightly red lips. "What? We''ll have to remove your dress. So, isn''t it better that I start first."


    My eyes again went wide. He removed his buckle, and I could not help but look away.


    On the beaches, women in bikinis, and men in shorts or underwear was not a rare sight. But, in this enclosed space, being with my husband who always respects my boundaries¡­ like this way, was enough to make me turn red. I certainly was not uncomfortable with this. Maybe, a little surprised, and a little taken aback.


    The ruffling sound followed, and the black pants landed perfectly into the bags for dirty clothes. I dared not glance at Eshan.


    "Now, see we''re even," Eshan said with humor. "No, we aren''t," Eshan paused deliberately, "your dress is still on."


    I pulled my bottom lip within the grasp of my teeth. Wasn''t ventilation working properly? Why was it so hot? I turned deaf ears to Eshan. Not that I had not seen guys only in their underwear. Plenty of movies, shows, ads had broadened my horizon, and I was certainly not the one to shy away.


    However, with Eshan, everything was different. Even his long stare made butterflies dance in my stomach.


    Turning on the tap beside me, I held my hands under running water. The cold water provided some relief to my burning skin. I splashed some on my face, but my trembling hand caused the water to splatter on me.

 Chapter 237 - You’re not the only one who is insecure, Innaya!

    |Innaya|


    The cold water acted as a harsh reminder, pulling me back to reality. Due to my hastiness, the wound on my finger tingled with pain. I had made the small wound almost turn into a hole because of drilling my nail in it. All the hurt, the pain of the past one month came rushing back to my head, making me slightly dizzy from the rush.


    The pain caused by Eshan''s accusation of choosing Karan over him rang in my ears. His eyes had already given away his inner thoughts. No matter what reasoning he gave later on, the fact remained the same. There was a crack in the trust he had in me.


    How easily Eshan behaved like nothing was wrong? I again fell for his tricks. How foolish of me! One moment he showered his love, and then he blew me away as if I was some sort of dirt on his shoes. Here, he was again trapping me with the illusion of his intimacy.


    How could I forget those cutting words of his? How could I forget his suspicion because of Karan? How could I forget about everything so easily?


    "There¡­ there." Eshan came to my side, holding my slightly quivering hands under the running water. His large palms covered mine, if he were to close them, my palms would be engulfed whole by them.


    Stumped, I followed those fingers to the sharp elbows to muscled forearms... His bare chest brushed against my shoulders as I was turning sideways.


    Water Drops rolled down on my eyelids from my forehead causing me to blink.


    "Sweetheart." Eshan caressed my palms before holding them in his right hand. He used his left hand to turn off the tap and took a towel from the side. Patting it on my forehead, he then wiped the water from my face.


    "Dad is waiting for us. We should not waste more time. If the bandage gets wet, we''ll end up using more time. So, be good, and we can leave soon."


    His words sounded foreign to me, and so did his face. This was the man I loved wholeheartedly. Then why my heart trembled as if I did not know him at all? Why sudden unfamiliarity?


    I pulled my hands from him, abruptly. At the same time, I slid down from the counter, forgetting about not putting pressure on my sprained ankle. Everything happened in a spur of the moment; I only had one thought in mind¡­ to get away from Eshan.


    Eshan''s reflexes worked more quickly than I could have imagined. Snaking his hand around my bare waist, he held me in the mid-air.


    ***


    |Eshan|


    There. That cloud of uncertainty shrouded Innaya''s features. Subconsciously her mind kept bringing back the unhappy moments of self-doubt and the low times of our relationship.


    I thought she had forgotten about them temporarily while my distraction worked. Intentionally I had chosen to shift her thoughts and mood in the other direction. The human mind only stops thinking in either extreme fear or extreme pleasure.


    I had seen the fear in her eyes when she almost succ.u.mbed to the panic attack outside in the room. So for her not to go back to that point, and to divert her attention, I decided to use the second point- pleasure.


    Taking the route of our intimacy I thought, I could- but appeared like it did not work.


    "Careful." Her soft flesh felt too good under my palms, but I had little time to relish the feeling. Snaking one arm around her shoulders and one around her lower back, I hoisted her up in my arms. Making sure that she did not put pressure on her leg. I sat her back on the counter amidst her struggle to get out of my hold.


    Her wet palms burned my bare chest, igniting a fire of desire in the innermost part of my self-control. For the briefest moment her body had plastered to mine, and it caused the tiny jolts of passion to shoot through my whole body.


    "Let me go." Innaya used quite a force to shove me away, but given her lack of physical strength compared to mine, she did not make much of a difference.


    "Be good, okay? We''ll have to take another trip to the hospital. This time you might have to spend a longer time there until you recover completely," I said seriously, holding her captive with my arms.


    "Why are you doing this?" Innaya whimpered helplessly, shutting her eyes. Her bare shoulders slumped as she looked frustrated suddenly.


    I could see the emotional toll the whole situation had taken on her. Her thoughts were spinning in a tornado, hitting at her resolve of staying composed.


    Ignoring the strange tugging at my heartstrings of leaving her alone to give her some time, I inched further. Cupping her face, I warily observed her face for any signs of repulsion or rejection. When there was none, I sighed to myself.


    I had to make things clear with her right now. "Sweetheart, you''ll have to battle your insecurities. If we keep on holding to our past, we would never be able to close this chapter ever¡­"


    Caressing her closed eyelids, I watched as her eyelashes fluttered, but she stubbornly held herself back. Unconsciously tugging at her bottom lip, Innaya looked too cute despite the severity of the situation.


    ''Ah! My sweet little wife!''


    Those tiny little movements caused ripples of desire to shoot in my whole being. "You''re not the only one who is insecure, Innaya," I admitted.


    Innaya''s eyes opened ever so slowly, those warm pools of innocence stared at me in disbelief.


    "Is it that hard to believe?" I asked, amused at her reaction.


    Innaya nodded too quickly before she caught herself and looked away. Instantly the moment her eyes broke the contact, the familiar feeling of being deserted starting creeping.


    Moving my hands, I hugged her. Securing her head on my heart, my fingers moved through her midnight black hair- smoother than silk sheets, reaching for her scalp. Innaya resisted for a moment before relaxing.


    "I am not lying. I truly felt insecure this past month. Perhaps you can trust my heart if not my words. Try to listen to what it says," I said lightly, applying little pressure and pressed her head.


    I watched our reflection in the mirror mounted on the wall behind the sink. The two scars on her beautiful flawless skin stood out the most besides the tiny black mole just beside where her old scar started.


    "Why are you insecure?" Innaya asked after staying silent for a whole minute, almost in a whisper.


    "Because sometimes after loving someone too much when you receive the same love in return¡­ It makes you dependent on the person. That dependency brings insecurity. Fear of being abandoned. Left alone by the person you love with all your heart," I confessed without hiding a single thing about my emotions.


    "Losing you is my worst fear that haunts me every now and then¡­ With how our life has been taking twists and turns, I fear to lose you. When you''re kidnapped, I had a premonition sort of a nightmare. That nightmare still comes back to me once in a while. I don''t want to wake up one day to not have you by my side." The face of the man in the mirror blurred. When my eyes stung, the man in the mirror smiled sadly as if sensing my pain, and fears.


    Innaya gasped. She pulled away staring at my face. I sensed her gaze but I did not look down rather kept my gaze at the reflection in the mirror. I would rather witness my vulnerable self than letting her see my demons.


    She deserved the best. Not some man who was so insecure and incompetent that he could not even safeguard the person he promised to cherish and treasure the most.

 Chapter 238 - Learning about the truth (1)

    |Innaya|


    The heart thudding loudly under my ear had already proven the truth behind Eshan''s words. His faltering voice lodged straight deep in my heart, reminding me of the reason why I chose to stay quiet in the first place. Just like him, I was also afraid of losing him.


    The face of the man standing so close to me held no expressions. However, the tears glistening in his eyes had my heart breaking in millions of pieces all over again. The unfamiliarity I had felt previously from him evaporated instantly, leaving behind the clearer conscious.


    "Hey!" I reached out, cupping his face. Our roles switched faster than the light today. One moment he was comforting me, and in the next moment, I was the one consoling him.


    Eshan blinked, pushing back his tears as he tilted his head back. I felt his face slightly snuggling in my palm before he held it and brought it down from his face.


    At this moment, I could see the loneliness and fears of his which he did not bother hiding anymore. At this moment, I understood his rage, biting words, sarcasm, and his need to distance himself.


    He was trying to protect himself. That was basic human nature. We all try to protect ourselves subconsciously in the face of the danger. That''s our natural instinct.


    "Look at me." I insistently tugged at his forearm when he refused to face me.


    "I''m sorry for putting you through this, but I had no idea about my mother''s visit to you. All along I was thinking that Karan was the one behind your distress. Never would have I thought that it was my mother who had put you through this." He shook his head. "You were wrong. I''m not good enough for you. I-"


    "It''s already been 20 minutes. Don''t tell me you''re sleeping in there. Let me remind you again that your parents are waiting downstairs, and if both of you don''t come out soon¡­ then they will be the one taking this door down," Arjun said, abruptly interrupting us once again.


    Turning my head in the direction of the closed door, I wondered why he was being so insistent. He did not need to stand guard on the door at all. That was until he mentioned my in-laws. It acted as a reminder that things were far from being the end for the day.


    Eshan sighed before he collected himself.


    "I love you! You have to remember that," I said, successfully holding Eshan''s attention with a simple declaration of my love.


    That forlorn look on his eyes did not sit well with me. Watching him that way was akin to stabbing myself with sharp, long needles. Yet, when he looked at me with a surprised gaze that I found myself reaching out for his neck and bringing his face closer to mine.


    "Right now my mind is a big mess. I don''t know what I''m saying and how I''m behaving. Let''s just keep this aside for a while." Eshan changed the topic. I did not know if he did it deliberately or he was just too stressed. In any case, we had to consider his parents.


    After whatever had happened I should not be giving them any chance of getting displeased with me. So, I nodded affirmatively.


    We then took close to fifteen minutes to get out of the bathroom after Arjun gave his friendly reminder. Thankfully, Eshan allowed me to clean myself after sitting me down near the bathtub. While he showered with curtains closed, blocking my view. Not that I was peeking, but my eyes had wandered for a brief moment at the faint outline of my husband through the semi-transparent curtain. Keeping a tight leash over my palpitating heart I focused on the task in my hand.


    ***


    "I can walk with your support," I whispered to Eshan, tugging at the fabric of his cotton V-neck grey t-shirt. Eshan refused to budge as he strode out of our bedroom. He had changed into the grey cotton t-shirt and black pants. I had chosen a pink full sleeves cotton top and a white skirt reaching all the way down to my ankles, hiding my swollen feet.


    "Oh! You''re finally out. Thank god! I thought I would turn into a statue by how long I kept waiting for you," Arjun dramatically muttered.


    I thought he had left after Eshan had asked him to get out not so politely. Turned out he had merely left our bedroom. Beside him, Fortune jumped around, slightly tugging at my dress.


    Arjun''s behavior might be seen as a casual one, but on careful observation, I noticed the silent exchange between him and Eshan. His blue eyes had masked the concern for me after a temporary slip. That was enough for me to know that he cared.


    Eshan started walking away from our bedroom. With each step of his, my heart started thumping loudly in my ribcage.


    ***


    "How are you feeling now? How''s the pain in your leg? Why are you so late? Did he give you trouble?" Eshan''s dad asked me the moment Eshan carried me down the stairs.


    Being carried around a bridal style was not exactly a good thing before in-laws. The embarrassment made me keep my gaze lowered without wandering anywhere.


    "Oh! Nothing Uncle. How can he give her trouble with me being around?" Arjun ruffled my hair as he walked beside us as if surveying the task Eshan was carrying out of being my human transportation.


    "Good. Tell me, if he gives you a hard time. I''ll sort him for you." Eshan''s dad nodded, smiling at me.


    Eshan''s mother was not around in the living room. The first thing I had done was to search for her. Some noises came from the kitchen''s side. I assumed that she was inside there, taking care of our food.


    Suddenly I lost my appetite. I did not wish to have anything cooked by her.


    *


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 Chapter 239 - Learning about the truth (2)

    | I n n a y a |


    Silence descended once again after Eshan helped me on the sofa. Well, he technically placed me down on the sofa, almost in a lying position. His dad ordered him to, for he said that I should not be exerting or putting pressure on my leg. Arjun nodded fervently in the synch. I had no other option but to keep my head down and listen to the grown-up men fussing around me.


    Eshan adjusted cushions behind my back. Arjun placed a few cushions beneath my leg, propping it up.


    "Everything will be ok," Eshan said. He placed his hand on my shoulder, subtly pressing it as if he could sense my unease.


    Eshan''s father disappeared from my sight once he made sure that I was properly looked after.


    I had not made eye contact with him intentionally, but his concern was hard to ignore. Now that he had left, I raised my head to take a look around. It was my home. Nothing was out of the ordinary as everything was the same. Yet, the presence of my in-laws changed the picture. In my own home, after the drama that had unfolded, I felt like a stranger.


    "Are you going to pretend that no one exists?" Arjun flicked my forehead. He stood at the back of the sofa, with his left hand in his pocket and another tapping on my head.


    I took one look at him before averting my eyes. I did not know how much he had heard when we were in the bathroom. Also, Eshan and I had taken so much time in the bathroom that he was bound to get funny ideas. I was not in a mood to entertain him when the anxiety of facing Eshan''s mother was making me anxious.


    The sofa was long enough to accommodate Eshan. He sat beside my propped up leg, looking at me.


    "Both of you brats, come here and help," Eshan''s father yelled from the kitchen.


    Arjun and Eshan both groaned at the same time before they left to help.


    Arjun had repeatedly mentioned about dinner Eshan''s father was cooking. Then instead of letting me go to the dining room, I was asked to sit comfortably here. I could not determine what was Eshan''s father thinking.


    "Woof woof!"


    Fortune yelped lowly by my side. His big eyes looked at me expectantly. What was he expecting? I failed to understand. My mind was yet to get clear while the fog of uncertainty was blurring my thought process.


    "No. Stay here¡­ This is your punishment for torturing my daughter¡­. Hmph!"


    Eshan''s dad ordered sternly and I could hear him clear in the living room.


    Punishment? Daughter? His words were truly puzzling. Was he referring to me? Arjun had also addressed me as the ''daughter'' in Eshan''s dad''s words.


    Was I missing out on something?


    Soon the approaching footsteps sounded from the left side of the hall. Raising my head, I caught the sight of an elderly man carrying a tray in his hands and walking smilingly towards me.


    Taken aback with the cheerful expression on Eshan''s father''s face, I straightened up unconsciously. He was being too good to me. Too good that I was starting to question his intentions. I did not want to raise my hopes high, but his affectionate gaze was making it harder. The look in his eyes resembled grandpa''s when he would dote on me unconditionally.


    "Relax Innu¡­ Am I that scary?" Eshan''s father laughed, casually addressing me with the nickname my maternal family used. It sounded as if he was used to it.


    I fumbled for words, averting my wide eyes from his smiling face. I did not want to give him the impression that he startled me. "Umm¡­ no uncle-"


    "Dad! You''ll call me dad just like Eshan does." He interrupted me before I could address him as an uncle. After what had happened with my mother-in-law I had decided to be more careful with my words. Who knew my father-in-law''s thoughts would be opposite to that of his wife''s.


    He placed the tray on the coffee table and picked up one plate before coming toward me. There was vegetable biryani, and a bowl of gulab jamun on the plate. The two colorful dishes were enough to salivate my mouth, igniting the hunger in the pit of my stomach.


    "They are your favorites, aren''t they?"


    "How do you know?" I asked before I could stop myself. Not many were aware of this knowledge regarding how much I loved biryani and gulab jamun whenever I was sad.


    "That''s a secret." Eshan''s father made a gesture of zipping his lips. He then held the plate before me, urging me to hold. "Here, have this quickly before it turns cold."


    Silently, I took the plate from his hands. He walked back to the single-seater sofa across me and took the second plate from the tray.


    It was just two of us. Eshan, Arjun, and my mother-in-law did not appear in the sight. Where were they?


    "They''ll have their dinner. Don''t worry. Start eating, what are you waiting for?" Eshan''s father said. He picked up the spoon but did not start eating. He kept looking at me. What was he waiting for?


    Meanwhile, his words did not make sense to me. Why were there different dining arrangements?


    "D-don''t you have to blam-...umm¡­ say something to me?" I changed my words. The sooner he expressed his thoughts, the easier it would be for me to cope up.


    I would rather choose the direct confrontation, instead of wallowing in the anxiety of what would happen. I never liked being on tenterhooks.


    Eshan''s father sighed. "Are you in the wrong?" He asked, leaning back in the chair. His question pushed back the ball in my court. He wanted me to spell it out for him.


    So, be it then. I gritted my teeth to thicken my skin. Eshan''s mother might pop out at any moment. Eshan''s father looked more level-headed and so far he had not given me any reason to not like him as his wife had.


    "Aunty does not think so¡­"


    "Innu¡­ I admit Prerna was wrong in this. I also don''t agree with how she handled the situation. Sometimes things are far deeper than what meets the eyes, yet what she did could have been avoided. At least the pain you went through." His expressions turned sympathetic.


    "What could possibly be the reason to malign and humiliate me in such a way? I-I admit that I didn''t fulfill my duties as a daughter-in-law, but¡­ but-"


    "Do you really think we are that narrow-minded to still believe in the duties and that stuff? As long as you consider us your family, we''re more than satisfied with it."


    "But you were against this marriage," I countered, recalling the words Eshan''s mother had used.


    "Who said so?" Eshan''s father raised his eyebrow questioningly as if he did not believe me.


    I stayed silent. Obviously, his wife had said this.


    Eshan''s father muttered something under his breath. I could not catch it. He smiled as he looked at me with a gentle gaze. "You weren''t even of legal age when my son had announced his decision of marrying you. I had known about you for very long. Do you think if we were against you being our daughter-in-law, we could not have stopped Eshan?"


    My eyes widened. Not of legal age? When had Eshan told them about me? And, how was he so sure that he would marry me?


    Lowering my gaze, I fiddled with my spoon. Though the food looked appetizing, I could not bring myself to eat when I was being watched so intently. The new revelations were making it difficult for me. The intent of the person did not feel threatening. Perhaps I was being too vigilant after what had happened.


    "ESHAN!" I yelled out loudly the moment I spotted red and green capsic.u.m and cabbage in the biryani.


    Eshan would suffer an allergic reaction if he accidentally consumed it. I had to stop him.

 Chapter 240 - Learning about the truth (3)

    | ESHAN|


    "Do we really have no choice?" Arjun lamented, looking at the glasses filled with green bitter gourd juice.


    I glared at him. He sighed before leaned back in the dining chair, looking resentfully at me.


    Mom sat across me- silently. Her finger roamed listlessly around the rim of the glass. Her attention was obviously somewhere else, and her eyes were still red. Looked like she had been crying for a while. When dad had called us inside, I knew nothing good would come out of it.


    I was so right. Dad planned it out well.


    Dad''s way of punishing us was way too different- cruller, yet effective. He knew how much we love his cooking, yet he had only cooked for two people- Innaya, and himself. He had specially prepared six glasses of bitter gourd juice- two for each one of us, warning that it was our punishment for wronging Innaya.


    I could not even voice my dissatisfaction, for his one glare was enough to cut down my protest.


    "I did not do anything wrong. Why am I subjected to this punishment? Ah! This delicious smell! My mouth is salivating!" Arjun ruffled his hair. His gaze went to the pots on the dining table. Dad had kept the food on the dining table, but the worst part was we could not even touch it. Touching it would only increase the number of glasses of bitter gourd juice. Perhaps, dad would come up with other alternatives.


    We had to hold onto grievances and bear with it. When dad did not even spare mom from his punishment, what were me and Arjun? Dad miffed with how mom handled the matter, gave us a cold shoulder. However, there was no use of crying over spilled milk.


    "Will she forgive me?" Mom asked abruptly. She looked lost and worried.


    Unknown to the two people sitting on the table, my fingers curled in a fist. Mom''s words and actions played in slow motion in my mind. I could not bring myself to forgive her. If not for the phone call I had received in the morning from her, telling me to trust her and briefly explaining the matter, I would have blown up.


    Today would have been the day when my mom lost me as her son.


    "She will¡­ It will take time, but she will. Innaya won''t hold this matter with you after you clarify everything," I answered honestly.


    If even after having a rough idea about her plan, I could not control the anger rising in my chest. So, what would be Innaya''s condition? We kept her in the dark. It would be surprising if she forgave mom. Then again, that was my Innaya. Eventually, she would forgive mom.


    After that, I ignored both of them. My ears trained on the conversation going outside. Dad had something planned. The question was, for whom it was. There was no way of knowing it until he tells us. However, his acceptance of Innaya as his daughter gave me a little relief to calm myself down.


    Innaya''s quivering voice, her simple questions regarding mom''s behavior¡­ they made my eyes tear up. Mom''s eyes also welled up when Innaya mentioned being humiliated.


    Arjun stood up and walked to her side. "Don''t cry, auntie. She is hurt and confused. Once she knows about the whole matter, she will understand." Hugging mom from the sides, he comforted her.


    I could not bring myself to console mom after witnessing Innaya''s breakdown. Perhaps my love for Innaya was blinding my emotions.


    Just as I picked up the glass of that vile green liquid, a piercing scream of my name rang out from the living room. "ESHAN!"


    I stood up almost instantly and ran out. Innaya needed me.


    ***


    | INNAYA |


    Placing the plate on the coffee table, I turned to get down from the sofa. I had to stop Eshan from having the biryani.


    Last time if he had been a little careless. My ignorance could have landed him in the hospital. Given the circ.u.mstances of the whole day, who could guarantee that Eshan would be careful?


    "Careful. What''s wrong?" Eshan''s father reached by my side, not letting me get up.


    "You''re hurt-"


    I paid no heed to his words with my eyes fixed on the face of the man running in my direction. "Innaya! What is it? Are you-"


    Eshan reached by my side, crouching before me. His face filled with non-maskable terror. Perhaps my face held more fright than him. He showed no sign of allergy yet, but I wanted to be sure.


    "Are you okay? Have you eaten biryani? There are capsic.u.m and cabbage in the biryani. You take medicine. It''s here in the drawer." I rushed with my questions, simultaneously checking him for any signs of allergy. I had learned my lesson, so I usually kept his medicines with me- and within easily reachable places. In fact, in every room, there was a strip for his allergy medicine.


    Eshan sighed, his shoulders relaxed as if a heavyweight was lifted off them. "Shh¡­ calm down. I haven''t eaten it. I''m okay." Eshan sat down beside me, holding onto my shoulders and stopping me from reaching out to the medicine.


    "You scared us. It''s just an allergy." Arjun folded his arms across his chest, looking disdainfully at us.


    "Shut up!" I snapped at Arjun. "What do you mean by '' just an allergy?'' Do you even know how serious it can be?"


    "Don''t." Eshan squeezed my shoulders as he indirectly asked me to not to pursue the matter. "He knows."


    I inhaled sharply. The flash of hurt in Arjun''s eyes made me swallow my anger back.


    "Why would you add things in the food which your son is allergic to?" I turned my attention to Eshan''s dad. The whole situation started with him.


    If he had not added capsic.u.m and cabbage, would I be so anxious?


    What kind of parents does my husband have?


    His mother wreaked havoc in her son''s married life. And, now, his father wanted to harm him by making him eat allergic food. Just what the hell was wrong with these two elders? Wasn''t Eshan their son?


    Eshan''s father smiled. He then whacked Eshan''s head before he went back to the place he was sitting earlier. "Who said he was allowed to have this food?"


    "Did you finish your food?" He asked Eshan. Turning his head at Arjun and Eshan''s mother, who stood behind the sofa, he repeated the same question.


    "Uncle! Please, spare me. I did not do anything wrong. Why are you punishing me?" Arjun whined like a child.


    Punishing?


    Since when eating food turned into punishment? Puzzled, I looked at Eshan. Asking Eshan''s dad for an explanation did not seem right. Instead of directly answering, he appeared to be content in twisting his words.


    "You did nothing wrong? Where were you when your sister needed you?Huh?" Eshan''s father glared at Arjun.


    "Ain''t I here now," Arjun replied meekly.


    I never knew Arjun could be afraid of someone. Inside the bedroom, he behaved as if only Eshan would be subjected to punishment while he would enjoy Eshan''s plight. Now before Eshan''s father, his courage seemed to be deflated in the air.


    "Sorry!" Arjun lowered his head at the glare he received. Eshan seemed to be quite enjoying the treatment Arjun was getting for his lips curved in a small smile.


    "Go and bring the glasses. Finish it before me- all of you." Eshan''s father folded his hands across his chest and leaned back on the sofa. Eshan''s smile faltered at the order.


    What was it that caused all of them to turn gloomy so suddenly.


    Arjun muttered something but went back to the dining room. Eshan''s mother walked across and sat on the single-seater sofa beside the one her husband was occupying. "Suhas-"


    He raised his hand in the air, cutting down whatever she wanted to say. He did not even look at her.


    That baffled me. Eshan''s father appeared miffed with everyone- except me.


    His behavior towards me was warm. He even cooked for me. I glanced down at the plate of biryani. Perhaps he had added something to it.


    I could not help but feel wary.

 Chapter 241 - Learning About the Truth (4)

    |Innaya|


    Soon the approaching footsteps were heard. The strides of Arjun were reluctant as if he was dragging his feet. His steps were measured, slow, and languid.


    His hands held a white tray.


    Thud!


    One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six.


    I counted those six glasses filled with green juice on the tray as he placed the tray on the coffee table. Well, he almost slammed it that caused glasses to shake, and some of the juice spilled.


    My nose scrunched up at the disgusting smell and sight.


    "Be careful, you brat. Don''t think you can get away if you spill the juice. Even if you were to throw this up, there is enough in the kitchen to make up for it," Eshan''s father sternly said.


    "What is it?" I could not help but ask at the fallen expression on the faces of three people. Eshan''s father seemed to be enjoying the whole situation.


    His lips curled up in a mocking smile. Arjun silently picked up tissues, cleaned the glasses wiping the liquid. Picking up two glasses, he handed one to Eshan and one to Eshan''s mother.


    Next, he picked up one for himself, leaving three on the tray and sat beside me. On my left side sat Eshan, and Arjun sat on the right- sandwiching me in-between.


    "What is happening here? Can anyone please explain to me?" I asked, feeling puzzled. The smell coming from the juice from both sides made me want to cover my nose. If the smell was so bad, how bad would the taste be?


    "Nothing. Now, you continue with your biryani. Thankfully I have served it piping hot so it should be warm now. Go on, tell me how it tastes," Eshan''s father said.


    Eshan picked up the plate from the coffee table and handed it to me. "Innaya, eat."


    I could not voice any objection to him. Little reluctantly, I took the plate from Eshan. The initial temptation of having the delicious biryani and those round golden brown balls filled with juicy sugar syrup evaporated into thin air.


    And, the glasses filled with that green juice made me wonder what was going on. If this was some sort of punishment, then why were these three receiving it? Why was I spared?


    "Arjun, stop looking at her plate. You brought this upon yourself. Quick, finish the one in your hand. The second glass is waiting for you. I want all the glasses finished." Eshan''s father picked up his plate as well.


    "I like gulab jamun. I hate bitter gourds. How could you not even let me take a look? You''re heartless," Arjun muttered little sullenly, his ocean blue eyes fixed at the bowl on my plate. He licked his lips. His eyes swayed between gulab jamun and the glass in his hand.


    ''Bitter gourd? Uncle, aren''t you too much? Two glasses of bitter gourd juice! I would be puking my guts out at the smell of it. How can you bear to watch others drink it while you have sweet delicacies? Your stomach will hurt.'' I turned my eyes away from the tray of glasses on the coffee table.


    "Yes, I''m. Do you want to see the more heartless side of me? Tomorrow I''ll prepare fresh juice of leaves of Azadirachta indica."


    ''Azadirachta indica?'' It took me some time to understand that he was talking about neem leaves. There were a couple of neem trees in our garden. From the balcony of the guest room, we could even pluck out leaves if wanted as the branches of one tree were accessible by stretching a hand from the balcony. Would he really give the juice of neem leaves to them?


    At this point, I thought he would. Arjun''s scream proved my speculations.


    "NOOOOOOOOO!" Arjun stood up with a jerk. His eyes went wide, and he almost dropped the glass in his hands on the ground.


    Eshan''s father raised his eyebrow at Arjun''s reaction. Without any more words, Arjun breathed deeply, holding his breath, he drowned the whole juice in a single breath.


    He did not stop at that. He picked a second glass from the tray and did the same before dropping on the sofa lifelessly. My heart ached for him. Drinking two glasses of bitter gourd juice was not an easy feat.


    There were two spoons on my plate- one for biryani and other in the bowl of gulab jamun. "Here. Have this¡­" I scooped one gulab jamun with the spoon and forwarded it to Arjun first. His bitter expressions softened, and without a delay, he bent down and swallowed the medium size round ball.


    Once he took the gulab jamun in his mouth, I turned my gaze away from him.


    Just then, my attention turned to Eshan, for he was doing the same. Not only him, but his mother did the same. Three people finished those six glasses as if they were drinking water.


    ''What? Are these people even human? But then again, if there was a choice between bitter gourd and neem, any sane person would know what to choose.''


    I felt awful on their behalf. I used another spoon for picking up another gulab jamun.


    I silently put it before Eshan''s lips. Eshan''s eyes flashed for a moment, and there was a thin layer of moisture in them. Was the juice that bad? It caused tears to appear in his eyes.


    Those slightly pinkish lips parted slowly, and I recalled how they were on mine approximately half an hour ago. They teased me, played around¡­ I fought the blush rising on my face and immediately pushed the spoon in his mouth before looking down at my plate.


    There were two gulab jamuns left in my bowl. Through the corner of my eyes, I saw the scrunched up face of Eshan''s mother. I thought she drank her glass, but her second glass was almost half.


    No one complained or refused the drink juice. That was surprising. No matter how bitter they felt from inside, the three people drank the juice silently without any protest.


    Eshan''s father did not say a word. Well, I did not glance at him purposefully. What if he objected?


    From the corner of my eyes, I caught visible tears in Eshan''s mother''s eyes. My mind was in a fix. I fed gulab jamuns to Arjun and Eshan after witnessing their plight. However, I could not bring myself to offer the same courtesy to his mother.


    However, my heart could not bear to watch her suffer. What should I do?

 Chapter 242 - Learning about the truth (5)

    |Innaya|


    Looking at the downcast expressions on Eshan''s mother''s face as she drank that vile liquid, I felt troubled. Unlike Eshan and Arjun, she had difficulty with drinking the juice. Her complexion turned paler and paler as she forced herself not to spit it out. Her nose scrunched up. From time to time, she would glance at me and then to her husband''s side.


    Was she waiting for me to offer her gulab jamun? Perhaps she wanted her husband to stop her. However, he did not move and stared ahead firmly. He was not going to help her. That left me with no choice.


    Making my mind, I picked up the bowl of gulab jamun and pushed it in Eshan''s hand. Keeping my gaze lowered, I slightly curved my finger and pointed towards his mother. He should be able to understand. Though I had calmed down early, I could not bring myself to initiate a conversation with his mother. What if she misunderstood me?


    I did not wish to start another round of drama. Eshan''s lips curved in an unnoticeable smile. Eshan understood my unsaid words as he took the bowl from my hand and went to his mother.


    "Mom, eat this."


    "Look, she is still caring enough for you people. Where is your damn conscience? How could you bear to hurt her? Were your brains eaten by pigs?" Eshan''s father snarled.


    I almost jumped in my place at his imposing and stern voice. He did not yell, but his voice had a tinge of ferociousness.


    A sobbing sound followed his abrupt outburst. Tentinvily I followed the source of the voice. My eyes landed on Eshan''s mother. She was sobbing with her fist held against her mouth.


    I panicked with the way Eshan''s father glared at the trio. What was happening?


    "Dad, please stop it," Eshan said as he rubbed his mother''s back.


    "Oh! What? Can''t bear to listen to your stupidity?" His father retorted.


    "Suhas-"


    ''If this continued, they would soon start quarreling.''


    "Uncle, can you please calm down. Actually, all of us need to calm down. This matter won''t reach anywhere with the way we all are dealing with it," Arjun said. "And, we have carried out the punishment without any complaint. So, can you please forgive us."


    I almost nodded at Arjun''s words. I shared his thoughts on the situation.


    Eshan''s father flared up, but before he could say anything, I chimed in. "He''s right."


    "See, your daughter also agrees. Be magnanimous like her, and show some mercy on us peasants. We''re at fault, but there''s always a reason behind things. Not necessarily everything is black or white..."


    Was Arjun fool? Magnanimous? Mercy? What era was we in? Did he consider Eshan''s father as some sort of king from the ancient era? The aura surrounding Eshan''s father was regal and his temperament did not pale in comparison with royals in history¡­ but wasn''t Arjun being too much with his flattering?


    The fierce expression on his face faltered and he swallowed back his words.


    "Stop crying." He passed his white handkerchief to his wife. "My daughter gave her share of sweets to you, eat it," he then added with a little pride.


    I mentally rolled my eyes.


    Eshan''s mother sniffled but she accepted the handkerchief. She cleaned her face, and then took a bite of the gulab jamun. Her eyes stayed trained on me and the tears in them glistened like pearls.


    It made me uncomfortable. So I did the best thing that could divert my attention. I picked up the spoon and started stuffing my mouth with the biryani. Though I did not eat like gluten with no manners, I made sure to keep my eyes on my plate. One spoonful after another, I just kept on eating the biryani.


    With all the tension in the air and the weird atmosphere, I could not even taste the food. I just wanted to avoid getting myself in another terrible confrontation.


    The way my in-laws behaved around me, I just wanted to flee from their sights. One showered me with accusations, vile words, and humiliation¡­ while another one was being unrealistically affectionate.


    Cough¡­ Cough...


    I choked on the rice when I absentmindedly stuffed myself. Tears sprang in my eyes


    "Easy¡­" Arjun rubbed my back. Picking up the glass of water he held it before me. Rubbing my chest, I hurriedly gulped the water. The coughing fit forced tears in my eyes as the chilly taste splurged through my throat, and nose.


    After a couple of minutes, I finally regained my breathing back and the coughs subsided.


    "I''m sorry!" A choked apology came from the person I least expected once I calmed down.


    With wide eyes, I clenched my fists by my side. The apology startled me. I had never thought Eshan''s mother would ever apologize to me. It felt weird. The cold demeanor with which she had thrown me out of this very same house almost a month ago was still fresh in my memory. I would often have nightmares of that day when my life was thrown into chaos.


    At that time I wondered if she would ever listen to me. So, her present apology came as a shock.


    "I know what I have said and done to you cannot be forgiven. I also know you can''t forget it¡­ I had no other option."


    I blinked, looking away from her crestfallen expression. Her voice wavered and big fat teardrops rolled down from her brown orbs. She looked pitiful, gone was the arrogance and aloofness. All that was left behind was a worn-out middle-aged woman who was sad. Eshan did not know what to do as he stood stern-faced by his mother''s side.


    I understood his stand though. By not being near to me, he was giving me space. He left the decision to me whether to accept her apology or not. He did not want to influence my decision.


    "Ok. Stop now. Let Innaya eat first before we switch to that topic," Eshan''s father interrupted his wife before she could continue. "Innu, eat slowly this time," he gently added.


    I frowned at his behavior. He used a stern tone with his wife while with me, it seemed as if he just ate honey. The contrast was alarmingly apparent. Ignoring it, I resumed eating again. This time I ate slowly in small amounts while chewing the rice. The gulab jamuns were gone. I did not even get to taste. I had to make do with biryani alone.


    I heard a growling sound from beside. Arjun immediately placed his hand on his stomach. If he had not done that, perhaps I would not have reached the conclusion soon. But because of his haste, he gave himself away.


    He was hungry.


    I wordlessly forwarded my plate to him. I was not that hungry. Before this incident had happened, Eshan and I had our lunch.


    "Stop right there."


    My hand holding the plate trembled when Eshan''s father barked out the order.


    "You''re scaring her."


    "You''re scaring her."


    Two voices rang out at the same time. Eshan''s father looked taken aback at Eshan''s and Arjun''s words. His face fell, and his eyes guiltily darted towards me.


    Arjun took the plate from me and placed it on the coffee table. His large hand came around my shoulders as he rubbed my forearm in a comforting manner. I sighed. The urge to return to the bedroom away from the tangled situation almost made me act on my desire, but I held back.


    No one would allow me to get up and leave. Eshan''s father''s weirdness was getting on my nerves, causing me to raise my guard up against him. I did not realize that I was trembling until Arjun held me.


    "Sorry," Eshan''s father mumbled apologetically.


    Once again, his response threw me out of the track. His tone flipped so many times in the shortest amount of time we met that I was starting to wonder if he had some bipolar disorder. How was it humanly possible to switch back from one character to another in such a short span of the time?

 Chapter 243 - Learning about the truth (6)

    |Innaya|


    Eshan''s father sat straight anxiously in the chair, his left foot clad in the blue cotton slipper tapped on the floor. Pushing back the rimless glasses sliding on his nose, he rubbed the tip of his nose.


    "I asked Arjun to stop from taking the plate from you. I did not raise my voice on you. I would never-"


    "Haha¡­ Why would you raise your voice on your sweet daughter when you have us as your poor lambs to slaughter," Arjun said, turning his attention to Eshan''s father who sounded tense.


    I folded my lips at Arjun''s attempt of easing the tense atmosphere. He could only joke in such a situation.


    "Sh-" Eshan''s father attempted to say something, perhaps he wanted to scold Arjun, but then he remained silent.


    Arjun''s stomach again made the noise. When I tilted my head a little, Arjun''s handsome face tinged with a slight paleness in his feature greeted me. I had not taken account of him early¡­ Looking at him now, I could see that he seemed to have lost weight. There were prominent dark circles under his bright eyes. On his forehead, a scar half a length of my finger stood out. When did he receive that wound? It must have hurt like hell.


    The time he spent away from us seemed to have taken a toll on him. He did not have it easy.


    "Why are you being punished?" I asked as I kept aside the plate. If Eshan''s father did not let others eat. I would not eat either. There was no point in receiving special attention when the reason behind the attention was unclear. Arjun kept mum, only glancing at Eshan''s father. I understood that he would not answer.


    "Let''s go to the kitchen. I''ll cook something for you," I said, holding at his hand.


    Arjun flicked my forehead lightly. "Stop being a fool." He then refused to get up and held onto me.


    "How am I being a fool? You''re a fool," I muttered unhappily, rubbing the place he flicked. ''Damn! It hurts.''


    I looked at Arjun, waiting to know what he wanted to do. It was clear that Eshan''s father would not let him eat, and Arjun did not want me to cook.


    "How about we go out to eat?" I asked. I disliked keeping people hungry.


    Arjun''s eyes twinkled with enthusiasm. He just nodded positively, and slyly his eyes went to Eshan''s father''s direction. Was there any need to be smug? Nevertheless, it was a good opportunity for me to get away from the stressed environment.


    We kept our conversation restricted to whispers- not wanting others to hear us though we knew that my in-laws and husband were staring at us.


    "Eshan, go and bring the cutlery and pots here," Eshan''s father said.


    Did he hear us? Would he not let me getaway?


    "No need. Let''s go to the dining room," Eshan answered as he left his mother''s side, walking to me.


    Eshan''s father frowned. "But, she is hurt. It''s not good to move-"


    "Dad, mom, you go ahead. I''ll bring Innaya," Eshan interrupted, nodding his head in his parents'' direction.


    "Yes, all of you enjoy your dinner. I''ll bring my sister out for dinner." Arjun gave a teasing smirk before he bent down to pick me up.


    "I can walk," I said, swatting at his approaching hand.


    "Ah-" By the time I was talking to Arjun, Eshan had picked me up and was walking to the dining room.


    "I can walk," I repeated the same sentence to Eshan who seemed to be in love with his new job of picking me up and carrying in his arms. He might not be aware of the presence of his parents, but how could I turn blind eye to it? It was not good to be carried around like this.


    They had just accused me of being shameless. Eshan''s actions could be counted as just a concern of a spouse, but if someone wanted to make a mountain out of a molehill¡­ Then this set of actions could be interpreted in a way that would not sound good to ears.


    "Hey! That''s not allowed. Innaya is going out with me. Right, Innaya?" Arjun yelled as he marched alongside Eshan, trying to take me from Eshan''s hold.


    I bobbed my head upside and down, agreeing with Arjun.


    "No need," Eshan curtly answered, giving me a stern look.


    "Eshan, be a good boy and let go of my sister."


    Eshan ignored Arjun and just increased his pace. The sudden change in Eshan''s tone was apparent. He was bottling up his emotions. Why? Only he could answer. Sometimes I hated how he pulled the mask of indifference to hide his true feelings. What I hated more was the fact that at times like this, I could not read him. That made things all the more difficult for me.


    Besides, the more time I spent around my in-laws, the more nervous I was growing.


    Need to know the truth behind the whole drama was intense in my heart, but the anxiety of how I would handle it was making me restless.


    Given the words of Eshan''s mother and concern of Eshan''s father, I somewhere understood that it was a staged drama. Eshan''s mother did not mean what she did and said- today and a month ago. Eshan''s father was punishing them on my behalf, and it seemed as if he was kept in a dark regarding the whole ordeal.


    But, why go to such great lengths of staging a drama to such a deep extent?


    Lost in my thoughts, I did not realize when we reached the dining room. It was only when Eshan lowered me on the dining chair that I came back to the present. Eshan''s parents were already sitting across me.


    "On your account, I will let them off," Eshan''s father said as he stretched his lips in a smile¡­ at least that was what he tried.


    "Thank you, Innaya. If not for you who knew how long this fasting punishment along with that disgusting juice would have lasted. Thank you for rescuing us," Arjun commented as he sat on my left and immediately dived in, uncaring if others have started or not.


    "Thank you!" I mumbled slowly to express my gratitude. It was not that Arjun could not have left to eat something. No one would have stopped him, but he did not go. That just showed his respect for Eshan''s father. It was not that respect people usually showed to the elders of their friends. Arjun gave that respect to Eshan''s parents, which one would one show to their family.


    So, I realized, no matter how the situation looked Eshan''s parents would not harm me. Otherwise, these two men flanking both sides, would not remain so calm.

 Chapter 244 - Learning about the truth (7)

    |Innaya|


    *** Half an Hour Later ***


    We shifted back to the living room after we had our dinner. Everyone was silent, and I had kept my head lowered. Eshan''s father had served more gulab jamuns to me than the rest. I found it difficult to be served by my father-in-law. Well, but then I kept my words to myself, not wishing to earn any reaction from him. In any way, it was benefiting me. Why should I complain?


    "Two months ago, I received photos of you with Arjun," Eshan''s mother said.


    "What photos?" I asked slowly, glancing at Arjun through the corner of my eyes.


    Arjun and Eshan were sitting beside me, sandwiching me as if I would run away. Despite wanting to, I could not run away. My poor feet would not allow me.


    "That''s not important." Arjun shook his head.


    Eshan''s mother nodded. She seemed to struggle with explaining as if she feared my reaction. Why would she?


    Fortune licked my good feet, and I bent down to caress his head. Then I recalled my almost hysterical state in the bedroom. Were my in-laws there? Had they heard my words? I had said so many things- that honestly, I did not remember a word of it. However, I vaguely had a recollection that besides Eshan, other people were present in our bedroom too.


    What a mess! My head was starting to ache even before starting the topic.


    "How about we speed up the whole incident? Let me brief it for you," Arjun said. He leaned back on the sofa, his right hand dr.a.p.ed leisurely on the armrest.


    Turning abruptly, I glared at him. "From how long you know the truth?" If he knew about it, then I seriously needed to evaluate our relationship.


    Did he like seeing me in pain? Did he like to watch me struggle? I could not understand, but if that was the truth, maybe I would not consider him my brother anymore¡­ I would treat him as Eshan''s friend only.


    "I arrived in the morning. So you can say- a couple of hours before it happened," Arjun answered, looking quite nonchalant about it. He was not being honest. I could feel it deep down. Unfortunately, I did not have any proof. His reaction was pretty normal, where you could not detect the lie in his words.


    I nodded, but deep down, I was unconvinced.


    "Go on." Folding my arms across my chest, I leaned back only to stiffen. At some point in time, Eshan had placed his arm behind me. So when I leaned back, it looked like I was in his arms. Technically I was- it was just coincidental.


    "Stay," Eshan whispered, pulling me and shifting close to me, almost taking me in his arms. Did he really not care about his parents'' thoughts?


    Glancing at his parents, I understood from where Eshan got such confidence. His father had his arm around my mother-in-law, and those two sat close to each other-just as She looked at her husband with tearful gaze, silently mouthing ''sorry.'' My father-in-law''s stern exterior cracked under her stare and replaced with tenderness as he shook his head. He leaned down and kissed her forehead to which she closed her eyes, and a tear fell from her closed eyelids.


    My cheeks colored, and I immediately averted my eyes. I felt as if I had intruded into someone''s private affair. That one moment of tenderness was enough for me to lower my guard a little.


    Eshan squeezed my forearm, tapping his fingers across my bare skin before running his fingertips in a caressing manner, that caused goosebumps to appear on my skin. His warm breath danced across the side of my face, slowly awakening the dormant butterflies in the pit of my stomach.


    Stealing a quick glance at him, I found he had noticed the affectionate moment between his parents. Eshan smiled, catching my eyes.


    His left hand reached out for my face. Holding onto my chin, he turned my face. Giving a smile, he copied his father''s action.


    "Enough of feeding me dog food!" Arjun commented dryly. "Even Fortune doesn''t like it."


    I did not know where to hide my face.


    "Just get done with the story," Eshan replied, his hand slid to my waist and stayed there.


    Arjun snorted before he started telling, "So, someone sent photos to aunty, wishing to spoil your marriage. Aunty did not take the matter seriously. She thought that she would be disturbing us if she brought the matter up. That did not mean she forgot about it. She had people take a look at the matter. However, they did not find the person behind it. So, she almost forgot about it, until a week ago before she came to find you- a month ago. Ayesha''s mother came knocking at her door, with other photoshopped images. Aunty felt something was wrong.


    Before she could get in touch with us, she thought of the possibility of someone keeping watch on us- more specifically on you because of the photos. Even if someone wanted to photoshop the images, they would need to have your pictures to do so. So, she thought if she contacted any one of us, there was a possibility that we would never catch the culprit behind the instigation."


    I felt my head becoming heavy, with the information, yet I steeled myself to know more.


    "Can you guess whom she sought help from?" Arjun directed the question to me.


    I shook my head. I honestly could not think about anyone. Maybe, because I did not know about the people close to my in-laws. In fact, when I did not know my-in-laws that well. For the last six months, my life only revolved around Eshan¡­ So, how would I know to whom Eshan''s mother asks for help?


    Eshan''s father was not included in this matter. His actions, words said everything. Still, I looked in his direction.


    "Karan."


    "Karan?" I lost my ability to think at the mention of Karan''s name.


    "What the hell!" Eshan roared angrily. His body went stiff. Eshan''s anger confirmed that I did not hear wrongly.


    "Eshan," Eshan''s father warned in a stern tone, "If you can''t listen silently, then leave."


    Eshan turned to his mother, pointing his finger at her. "Karan? Why would you turn to him? You know he holds a grudge against me? Do you know he had kidnapped Innaya?" Eshan barely controlled his voice. hhe was on the verge of exploding.


    I could understand his frustration though¡­ Had he not told me about Karan''s instigation, I would not have known.


    "What? How dare he? I''m going to break his bones. How dare he kidnap my daughter?" Eshan''s father stood up, bellowing in anger. He looked livid.

 Chapter 245 - Learning about the truth (8)

    |Innaya|


    "Karan was part of this?" I asked Arjun, ignoring two men who had their fists clenched and were in a battle mode. They could take their time to sort out their minds. That was not my preeminent concern at the moment.


    Arjun nodded, his hand reached for his chin. His eyes, staring at the fuming men.


    "I have to admit that she made a wise choice though," he said while raising his voice a little.


    That caught the attention of others. The pair of father and son turned to us, more specifically to Arjun.


    "What?"


    "What?"


    Eshan and his father glared Arjun murderously. If possible, they might end up charging at him, beating him without listening to his further explanation. I had to intervene before world war three started in our home.


    "Why do you say so?"


    "The other party kept tabs on everyone except him," Arjun answered, shrugging his shoulders. Murderous aura coming from the pair did not affect him. He ignored them smoothly as if he did not see their thunderous expressions.


    Well, that explained then. If we were under surveillance, the situation would have turned into something else- perhaps more critical to handle. Why would anyone keep tabs on us? On me? Were we in some television series for people to go on such level for harming someone?


    If for not having seen everything with my eyes, I would not have believed that someone could stoop down to such a low level. Experiencing everything broadened my horizons. The lesson came with a heavy price, but in the end, every lesson was worth it.


    "Not many people know the relationship between Karan and Singhaniya family." Arjun crossed his legs, beckoning to Fortune to come over with his fingertips. Fortune obediently crawled to Arjun before pushing his head to Arjun''s outstretched palm. Arjun lovingly rubbed Fortune''s head, and Fortune responded by wagging his tail.


    "Relationship?" My brows wrinkled in a surprise.


    "Yup, relationship. Karan''s mother is a distant relative of your mother-in-law. Growing up, they were like sisters. You can say, Karan, is the cousin of your husband."


    "What?" I almost got a shock once Arjun revealed the relationship between Karan and Eshan? I never imagined that possibility. Eshan never mentioned that to me.


    How could Karan behave so roguishly then? Despite being so close to Eshan by relationship, how could he try and sow the seed of misunderstanding in-between us?


    Unconsciously my eyes went to Eshan. How could he hide such a significant point from me?


    Eshan''s lips were drawn in a thin line. Once our eyes met, he looked away.


    "Why did he kidnap you? When did it happen? Why didn''t you tell us?" Eshan''s father held Eshan''s shoulder and turned him in his direction.


    "Umm¡­ Karan said that was a misunderstanding. He did not mean to do that," Eshan''s mother said from the sides.


    Eshan''s expression turned dark. "Yeah, hiring goons to abduct her from the crowded shopping mall holding me at gunpoint and then keeping her tied up for almost a day in a dark room was nothing but a misunderstanding¡­ yeah, go on. Believe it," Eshan scoffed.


    Eshan''s father left Eshan and spun on his feet. "YOU-" He just pointed his finger at her, unable to say anything. His face turned red from the anger. His breathing turned heavy, and his tall frame shook with his attempt of holding back his rising anger.


    "Uncle, calm down. It''s not good for your health."


    "Suhas!"


    "Dad."


    Eshan''s father shrugged all the hands approaching to calm him down. His staggering figure collapsed beside me as he breathed heavily.


    "... All of you... stay back. I-I-" Eshan''s father pointed his finger and warned others not to approach him.


    My heart leaped in my throat, watching him struggle. Eshan''s mother rummaged through her purse before she took out a small pump.


    "Take the pump. Suhas, please," Eshan''s mother pleaded. Her face lost all the color, and fright took over her features.


    Eshan took the asthma inhaler from his mother''s hand and threw it at me. I caught the inhaler for his father did not allow anyone to approach him. "Innaya. Please help him calm down. Here, give this pump and water to him."


    Little worried about my father-in-law''s condition, I dared not delay any more. Tentatively, I gave an inhaler to him after removing the cap and shaking it well. He took with shaking hands. We all watched as he put the mouthpiece in his mouth, and started using it.


    Closing his eyes, he rested his head on the back of the sofa. Once regaining his normal breathing, he looked worn out. My heart softened for him. Grandma had asthma. So, I knew how scary and terrifying it could be. We had to rush grandma in the ICU four times.


    I felt an unexplainable sense of closeness to my father-in-law after watching how he was affected because he learned about the sufferings I went through. Until now, I thought about how he could know nothing about the matter?


    I understood everything after learning about his asthma. Perhaps because of this reason, he was kept in the dark.


    "Drink some water." I held a glass of water before him.


    He slowly opened his eyes and looked at me tiredly. "Do you hate me?" he asked, his voice hoarse from his breathlessness.


    I shook my head. Why would I hate him? He had done nothing to make me hate him. He had been good to me since we met. He showed care to me. He punished his son and wife because of me. How could I hate him when he was being sincere?


    All the doubts regarding his stand flew out of the window when I realized everything he said and did was real. There wasn''t an ounce of fakeness or pretense in it.


    "I don''t hate you," I said honestly.


    Eshan''s father did not look convinced. His face still showed guilt.


    "Drink this water. Don''t agitate yourself. Everything is in the past. I''m fine," I said slowly, placing the glass in his hand after taking the inhaler. "Dad," I addressed him when I could not bear the uncertain look on his face. He had asked me to call him ''Dad'' without any reservation. It sounded foreign to my ears, but not uncomfortable.


    "Am I hearing things?"


    I shook my head. Was it that hard to accept?


    "Dad," I repeated again. It came naturally, perhaps it was because his aura felt too similar to that of grandpa.


    ***

 Chapter 246 - Learning About the Truth (9)

    |Innaya|


    "Haha¡­. Haha¡­" The man broke down into a burst of gleeful laughter after his initial surprise wore off. The happiness radiating from him was too infectious not to get affected by him. The aftereffects of his asthma attack still lingered in his breathing, but he laughed regardless. His white teeth flashed, and his eyes behind those glasses shone brighter than the sun.


    "Dad¡­ good. No¡­ great¡­ haha¡­ Finally, I can count on someone. " Dad muttered while rubbing his chest. Through the transparent glasses, a thin layer of moisture pooling in his eyes had stunned me momentarily.


    Never had I witnessed someone turning so emotional because of such small action from my side. Anyone who did not know my past would not consider this as a big deal. Addressing in-laws as mother and father or mom and dad was not a big deal nowadays.


    However, for someone like me, whose whole life was plunged into nightmares because of my very own father, this was tough. The moment my back was slashed, and that demon had his claws wrapped around my neck, digging in my flash, drawing blood, manically watching me struggle to¡­ live and taking pleasure in my misery¡­ the term ''father'' had turned into a curse in my heart and memory.


    Calling my father-in-law as a father should not have been easy for me- rather, it should be next to impossible because of the shadows of my past hovering over my mind, but that did not seem to be the case. Was it because of the adrenaline rush watching him struggling? Was it because of his affection? Whatever was the case, I was happy as long as I did not sink in the clutches of that haunting past where I could not even breathe.


    "Thank you! Thank you!" Dad thanked profusely. Slightly pushing his back from the sofa, he raised his hand to my head. His hand hung mid-air, turning my head. I waited for his next actions. Perhaps, the lack of a zero amount of threat from him quelled all my worries. Placing his palm over my head, he gave two gentle pats before he pulled his hand away. He was too overwhelmed to speak. All I witnessed was the man whom I met after so long, showcasing his different versions in a short amount of time.


    Eshan slowly inched further. Dad did not notice it, and thus it allowed Eshan to unnoticeably creep forward. Sitting on the armrest beside dad, he then dr.a.p.ed his hand across dad''s back and rubbed it in slow motion. "There there¡­ Now calm down. Your wish to have someone in your team is complete. Stop playing with your health now."


    Dad sternly glared at Eshan. Lowering his head, Eshan retracted his hand and reluctantly stood up. He then went back to stand beside his mother. Eshan''s mother, Arjun, and Eshan stood together in a line, with hesitation written all over their faces. Dad''s condition had sent everyone in a moment of panic, but once he settled down, we all could breathe a sigh of relief.


    Those three looked like they had done something wrong and were waiting to be punished. Dad did not care about them as he ignored them and turned to me. "Are you saying this because you feel pity for an old man like me?" He asked while looking at me gravely. Seemed like once the moment of excitement had died down, he was thinking things thoroughly and could not believe that I called him dad.


    Arjun laughed out aloud before I could reply. "Who is the old man here? Are you joking?"


    "Be quiet!" Dad snapped.


    Arjun immediately zipped his lips and placed a finger on them. His eyes still betrayed him- he was not going to keep quiet. "But, if I shut up, who''s going to explain the whole situation to your daughter? She wants to know everything, right Innaya?"


    "Yes, I want to know. Please continue," I said, ignoring the eyes of the man who was euphoric being called ''dad''.


    "It''s settled then. Aunty, please sit down." Arjun helped aunty to her seat, which was not necessary for my opinion. He was just stalling for time. Just for sitting down and making himself comfortable, Arjun wasted precious ten minutes.


    I could not even urge him. Eshan stayed standing quietly for a while before striding upstairs. His broad back going further and further away, evoked the feeling of loneliness in my heart, which I could not overlook. Actually, no one noticed when he disappeared from the room. That was Eshan- a silent man who kept everything to himself.


    Why were his walls extremely difficult to break? He so effortlessly got through me, but I could not. For him, it was easier to read my emotions. That was the reason the last month passed extremely slowly and tortuously. He understood that something was wrong. I spent all the time on tenterhooks because it was harder to hide the truth from him.


    Lying to him was more difficult.


    "Stop dawdling already." Dad moved beside me and threw the cushion at Arjun.


    Averting my eyes, I pondered on giving a chase to Eshan or not. Karan''s name had angered him to a great extent. That was given how he had lashed. Though he hid it well, I knew Eshan wanted nothing more than settling scores with him. Leaving him alone in such a condition was starting to worry me. One look at my wrapped up the leg in a cast, and all my desires to chase him died down.


    Instead of helping him, I would only add more to his burden.


    "Okay. I''ll start now," Arjun said before he abruptly stopped. Turning his head, he looked around, his gaze searching. "Where''s Eshan? Don''t tell me he went to find Karan now. Ah! You moron¡­ uncle, wait for me here, let me bring your son here, otherwise, god knows which hospital we would be frequenting," Arjun rattled on, ready to bolt out of the main door in search of the Eshan.


    "Eshan went upstairs," I said slowly.


    "Oh!" Arjun sat back. "Let''s wait for him then. He''ll kick a fuss if we start without him."


    "By the way, why did he leave suddenly?" Arjun raised his eyebrow questioningly.


    Dad forwarded his right hand before Arjun. "Give me your wallet."


    Arjun frowned, but he took out his wallet from his pants pocket. "Uncle, I don''t have much cash."


    "Cards will do," Dad said, still outstretching his palm.


    Why would he suddenly ask for a wallet and money? The train of thoughts of these people was too hard to follow. What they would do and what they would say was beyond my imagination.


    "What''s your bank account?" Dad turned and asked me.


    ''What? My bank account?'' Did not I say, these people were hard to follow.


    Before I could decide what to answer, he waved his hand and said,


    "Leave it." Fiddling with his mobile, he sent a message. "Transfer 5 lac to this account. Do it now," he ordered Arjun. So, the receiver of that message was Arjun.


    "Are you in debt?" Arjun asked carefully.

 Chapter 247 - Learning About the Truth (10)

    |Innaya|


    Debt? If my in-laws were in debt, why would he ask me for my bank account number?


    No. I shook my head. Agreed, Eshan had been busy with business, and his workload had also increased over the past few days, I knew the company was not in loss. I would have noticed it, or read it somewhere.


    Dad narrowed his eyes, throwing another cushion at Arjun''s face. "This is your apology gift to your sister."


    My jaw almost hit the ground with shock. Five lacs? Apology gift? And, that account number had nothing to do with me.


    "What? No. This is extortion."


    I almost covered my ears because of Arjun''s shout. Was he trying to turn me deaf? I glared at him for making my ears irritable with his high-pitched voice.


    "Yes, I''m extorting money from you. What will you do?" Dad folded his arms across his chest. He was such a bully. He was extorting money in the broad daylight without feeling a bit guilty of his actions. And, his attitude truly resembled the gangsters. He did not even need a weapon to make his words impactful.


    "Don''t be a bully here. You haven''t taken a penny from your son," Arjun shook his head, keeping away his wallet in his pocket stealthily.


    "I''ll be a bully. And, who said I haven''t taken anything from him?" Dad said smugly.


    Arjun leaned forward in his seat, asking excitedly, "Did you really take money from Eshan?"


    "Ha! As if I need his permission to take money. I just transferred our property in Goa on his name to Innaya."


    What? On my name? Why would he do something like this?


    Before I could voice my objections, Eshan''s figure coming down, caught my eyes, and I promptly swallowed back my words.


    "Eshan, you just lost the property to Innaya. Haha¡­" Arjun shifted his focus to Eshan. "Come and sit. I need to start the story soon. We''ll be waiting for you."


    Eshan glanced at Arjun but ignored him and walked to my side. Sitting between the space between his father and me, he made himself comfortable on the sofa.


    "Hey, go sit somewhere else." Dad pushed Eshan, but he just sat like a stone- unmoving, unrelenting, and stoic.


    "Your meds." He put the strips of medicine in my hand.


    My eyebrows were drawn together. "Medicines?" I asked because I did not remember the doctor writing to me some on a timely basis. All he gave was the pain relief spray and painkillers, which were to be taken when I could not bear the pain.


    "Supplements and vitamins." Eshan did not elaborate further, and I did not need him to once he mentioned supplements. Because once I probed further, Eshan was bound to lose his patience. The drop in my hemoglobin was the result of my carelessness. Eshan''s reaction in the hospital to my low hemoglobin scared me. I did not want the repeat of his cruel words; no matter he was angry or hurt.


    I silently took the medicines without making a fuss. His concern warmed my heart, slowly pushing away the cloud of insecurities that he was creating walls around his heart. He did not walk away because he was angry but for bringing me the medicines. Despite the situation, he still remembered about my health. Which girl would not like to get pampered by the man she loves?


    "You can''t take your anger on me, Uncle," Arjun''s cry or protest made me aware of the people around us. I straightened up and avoided looking at Eshan. He was causing my heart to flutter, and I did not want to end up revealing all my feelings on my face. With the heat I felt on my face, I knew it already revealed what it should not.


    Eshan unconcerned of what I was thinking, kept his hand on my shoulders, and again pulled me to his chest.


    "Go on, and just finish everything. Innaya needs to take a rest," Eshan ordered Arjun as if this matter had everything to do with him and nothing with us. It gave me the feeling that a news report was being read in front of an audience.


    I sighed. Instead of struggling, I let Eshan hold me because I knew that I would need his warmth to keep my demons away. No matter what Arjun would unveil, it would bring back the memories of the past month. The agonizing period had left quite a few deep wounds on my heart. That time I did not have the liberty to lean on Eshan for support. So, when the opportunity was before me, I would not waste it.


    "Okay." Arjun readily agreed, looking away from dad.


    "Well, Karan helped Aunty in the investigations. I won''t go in the details of how he got to know who was behind this or what the purpose was. We all are aware that this happened because of Ayesha''s interest in Eshan and Singhaniya industries," Arjun said, casting a disapproving look to Eshan.


    "See what kind of admirers you attract," he taunted Eshan.


    Eshan''s chest rose and fell rapidly. He was trying to control his temper. Secretly, I reached for his hand and tapped on the back of his palm. Eshan could not do anything to the feelings others might harbor for him. He had explicitly made it clear to Ayesha that he would have nothing to do with her.


    "Arjun, please continue," I interrupted. giving Arjun pleading look to just not provoke Eshan.


    "According to Karan''s investigations, Ayesha''s mother had devised the plan in the action. They hired a professional photographer and detective. The detective followed you for almost three months."


    I sucked in a cold breath.


    Three months?


    I was being tailed for three months, and I never noticed it. Could I be any denser and absentminded than this?


    "Relax," Eshan murmured in my ears as he rubbed my arm.


    "Breath, Innaya. Though he tailed you for three months, he could only do so from the distance because of the tight security around you. Because he was a professional detective, he knew how to dodge security from a distance. If he had trespassed the boundaries, he would have been caught," Arjun explained further.


    "Security?" I did not realize that my voice was barely audible to everyone. Each detail Arjun exposed was pushing me in the corner. How dumb could I be?


    "I have hired a professional security team after Karan had kidnapped you," Eshan said, and that just blew out my mind, turning me speechless.

 Chapter 248 - Broken Bond, and Grieving Heart

    |Innaya|


    Once again, a deafening silence fell in the living room, making me aware of my quickened breathing. I could not believe what Arjun said, even though I knew he would not lie.


    "Security? Why did you not tell me?" I asked, backing away from Eshan.


    The new piece of knowledge was like a cold bucket of water dumped over my head. I struggled to make sense of the information. The kidnapping incident had happened very long ago, almost two months, and for two months, Eshan kept this away from me. I just could not make peace with it.


    "Did not want to scare you," Eshan answered simply. His hand gripped my shoulder, pulling me back to his chest.


    I did not want to. How could Eshan hide such an important matter from me? There were people following me without my knowledge. Now it all made sense. How he got to know about Karan, how he always knew about everything concerning me when he was not in the vicinity. There were eyes and ears he had planted around me. He would obviously receive the report. Did that not mean he knew everything his mother had done?


    I could not resist the sickening feeling of disgust rising in my chest. Here, I bore everything for... him. I did not want him to have to choose between his mother and wife, whereas he had already decided whose boat he was sailing. I could not be any stupider than this. For the past month, he had been putting on an act to deceive me, and yet he blamed me.


    "Don''t think too much without listening to everything," Eshan said, his voice coming out a little stern, which I perceived as an annoyance.


    Great, now he was getting annoyed because I found his play.


    "Take your hands off," I replied instead. His mere presence was causing me to feel choked. I failed to understand why I was having such a strong reaction. Logically, I should be listening patiently without reaching any conclusion. Eshan also said that he knew nothing, but I failed to distinguish when he was telling truth, and when he was lying,


    Eshan remained quiet, restraining my unsuccessful attempt of getting away from him.


    "When aunty came to meet you for the first time, there was a security breach," Arjun said, explaining the details of that day.


    "And, Eshan does not know what happened that day," he added hurriedly as if sensing my growing displeasure with his friend. No wonder he could not see his friend getting hurt. He wanted to clear the suspicion on his friend as soon as possible.


    I could not bring myself to believe anyone of them. They all lied to me, kept things away from me. I did not know if I could accept their words anymore. Eshan gripped my chin and forced me to look at him. "I am not lying to you. I''m unaware as much as you are¡­ The only difference is, I knew what was going to happen today," he said, looking directly in my eyes.


    I blinked with tears pooling in my eyes. The man holding me was capable of throwing me off-balance with his just glance. So, when even the idea of betrayal from him scorched my insides. I absolutely could not accept that he could not include me in the matter of our life.


    "Innaya, I kept matters of hiring security personnel hidden because I did not want you to feel pressured. I knew you would feel conscious. And, I thought I was taking precautionary measures, never would have I thought that in a way, this decision would help us somehow. Because of this security, those people were unable to hurt or get close to you in person. That''s why they chose to go to mom." Eshan caressed my jaw tenderly, even his tone lowered down, and he spoke slowly.


    Breathing deeply, I searched for signs of dishonesty in his eyes. I was soon disappointed to find nothing but honesty in those dark brown orbs.


    "I can vouch for that because I was the one to suggest hiring security," Arjun interrupted. "I even recommended him some people. You can''t actually blame him."


    I freed myself from Eshan and created some distance between us. My ankle protested in pain when I moved, but I pushed back the pain. "Oh! Right, how can I forget your undying love for your friend? Before him, you can''t think of anyone else, can you? What am I? A foolish girl whom you took as a sister for your friend''s sake. Is hiding things fun?" I retorted, pouring out my grievances through anger.


    Arjun''s face turned serious. "Who can know this better than you? Do you not love hiding things? If you have not hidden the matter of Aunty throwing you out of the house and giving you divorce papers, do you think the matter would have stretched for so long? Do you even know what would have happened if things went out of control?


    Learn to treasure your time and relationsh.i.p.s because sometimes your foolishness can lead to your doom. If all I cared about was Eshan''s happiness, you would not have a chance to hurt him again and again. I get that you have your reasons, but don''t you think you are being unreasonable here by blaming us for thinking about your good? You can hide things, but when someone else does, then that''s the problem. Don''t you find yourself a bit hypocritical?"


    I instantly blanched as Arjun blasted. He stood up. His blue eyes glared fiercely at me. For some strange reasons, I felt guilty about my behavior. His words were hitting the right spot, making me realize that my words were overbearing. The stubborn, angry self of mine was too dense to accept it despite the slowly sinking realization.


    "Arjun, calm down," Eshan said, walking to Arjun''s side. He kept his hand on Arjun''s shoulder. "Buddy, calm down. She did not mean it that way."


    Arjun shrugged off Eshan''s hand, continuously glaring at me. "Do you think only you have a horrible past? Does having a horrible past gives you a free license to hurt people who love you... time and again? If you keep on doubting the affection I have for you, I think I better stop myself. I don''t want to force any relationship on someone who knows nothing than questioning my intentions," Arjun spoke word by word. His expressions furious, and his blue eyes turned red with anger. More than anger, the feeling of being wronged appeared prominent in his stance.


    "Anyways, it has nothing to do with me now. We don''t have any relation anymore, so this doesn''t concern me. Thank you for your non-existent trust. Oh, and by the way, had I not received the word of what Ayesha''s mother wanted to do, you would be kissing goodbye to your dignity. So yeah, I think it was fun hiding things. Right? " Arjun sarcastically chuckled before he dashed out of the living room, leaving me stunned with guilt and remorse.

 Chapter 249 - Give Him Some Time

    |Innaya|


    Arjun left¡­ just like that. However, he did not leave alone. He whistled on his way to the door, and Fortune ran after him. Along with his departing back, I lost the beautiful relation the man gave me selflessly.


    How much was I going to ruin my life?


    I wanted to chase after Arjun.


    I wanted him to stop.


    I wanted to apologize¡­ but all I did was to sit frozen.


    "Anyways, it has nothing to do with me now. We don''t have any relation anymore, so this doesn''t concern me. Thank you for your non-existent trust. Oh, and by the way, had I not received the word of what Ayesha''s mother wanted to do, you would be kissing goodbye to your dignity. So yeah, I think it was fun hiding things. Right? "


    Tears rolled down from my eyes, and they soon blocked my vision. I could not even recognize the outline of what was before me as everything turned blurred. His parting sentence echoed in my head,


    Arjun showered his warm love over me for all these months, and what did I give him in return? Pain? Accusation? Deep down, I knew Arjun had different places for Eshan and me in his heart. I knew he cared about me a lot. I had experienced it in those two months. He had looked after me as the elder brother. He corrected my mistakes and showed me the correct way.


    I still vividly remember the day when he announced himself as my brother. His clear warnings of entrusting Eshan with my secrets were fresh in my memory. I owed him a lot. In the dark, he had done many things from me, which I could never repay him off. Instead of acknowledging his love, why I questioned him?


    My insecure heart could never control my emotions. It always brought the worst out of me.


    I felt some movement beside me. Someone grabbed my shoulder, but I could not bring myself to move my gaze away from the door. I was hoping that it was yet another joke of Arjun, and he would just walk back through that door. He would joke around and say that he was just kidding.


    Nothing of that sort happened, he was not coming back.


    "Give him some time, let him cool down."


    I heard someone saying, but all I could think was Arjun''s words. From time and again, he had been advising me to share everything with Eshan. He would encourage me to learn to trust people around me, allowing them the chance to enter my heart and life.


    I heard a sigh before feeling a soft fabric rubbing gently against my cheeks. "Innaya."


    I blinked, finally understanding the voice of Eshan. He was holding me, wiping my face with his handkerchief.


    "..."


    I opened my mouth to ask him to stop Arjun, but no sound came out of my mouth. With overwhelming guilt suppressing my ability to speak, making me unable to voice out anything, all I did was to open and close my mouth with despair.


    I just could not bring myself to speak anything.


    "Arjun¡­ he left." I sobbed, finally mustering remaining energy, which seemed to have depleted with the departure of my brother. After my family and Eshan, that was the only relationship I had made with someone else. And, because of my foolishness, it was broken. I could blame no one but myself.


    "He will come back, give him some time," Eshan said as he cleaned my face.


    "Why am I being so bitter? I didn''t want to hurt him¡­" I felt helpless as well as angry. Why could I not control my tongue?


    "... I know. Calm down. Arjun¡­" Eshan paused as if at the loss of words before he continued, "he''s quite sensitive to some topics. You triggered his weak spot with your words."


    "I did not mean to¡­" I confessed, pushing down the lump in my throat. Tears never stopped gathering in my eyes. Stupid tears.


    Eshan patiently wiped the fresh set of tears rolling down from my cheeks. "I know. I know. Let''s give him some space. He will return when he''s calm enough."


    "But¡­ he said- I''m not his sister anymore." That was the blow I could not handle. Losing people in my life was the biggest fear I had since childhood. So, when Arjun severed all our ties, his decision made my world upside and down.


    "He said it because he is hurt. Give him some time," Eshan replied. He patted my back and wiped my face once again.


    "Yes, give Arjun some time."


    It was then I noticed Eshan''s mother was standing beside the sofa, and Dad was missing from the living room. Did he follow Arjun out to talk to him?


    I suppressed my emotions and willed myself not to cry. "I want to see Arjun. I need to talk to him," I said suddenly. For some reason, I wanted to see him before it was too late. I could not shake off the saddened look in his eyes.


    "I''ll bring you water, don''t cry." Eshan patted my head and went to the kitchen to bring me water.


    For some unknown reasons, my heart was yelling at me to see him. Ignoring Eshan''s words of giving Arjun some time, I stood up. My legs after not being used for some time shook a little, and a hand reached out to hold my unstable figure.


    "Careful! Where are you going? You should not put pressure on your leg."


    I avoided Eshan''s mother and her attempt of showing concern. It was all because of her.


    I limped my way to the door. I did not hear the sound of the car starting, so it meant that Arjun was still around.


    If I hurried a little, I could catch up with him. With that thought in my mind, I willed my legs to go faster. The increasing pressure on my injured leg nearly caused me to trip and yell out in pain, but I stopped myself. I could not waste my time.


    Once outside the main door, two people stood arguing. I could not hear the contents of their discussion. Arjun''s presence in the front yard was enough motivation for me to quicken my pace.


    ''He''s still here. He''s still here.'' My mind chanted.


    In my haste to reach him, I forgot about not putting my leg in an unfavorable position. Dragging my leg behind was not that tough when it came to hopping my way from the stairs. What happened next left me horror-stricken with panic because when I climbed down one step, my left leg could not handle the pressure.


    "Ah!" I shrieked loudly because of the pain.


    The wave of pain caused me to lose my footing and fall down. And, as there was nothing to support me, I could not maintain the balance. This fall was going to land me again in the hospital. I could see it. My eyes closed in fear as my body fell forward.

 Chapter 250 - Arjuns Distanced Behavior

    |Innaya|


    "You fool!"


    Instead of the hard fall, I expected, a pair of arms held onto me- breaking my fall. A wave of relief washed over me.


    "Don''t you know how to stay in one place? Are you mad?" Solemn silence of the night was broken by the scolding of the man. I could not feel any happier even after being at the receiving end of the scolding.


    My eyelashes fluttered as I hesitantly opened my eyes. Though I heard him and felt his presence, I did not want my hopes to shatter, and if this turned out to be a fantasy of my mind. I could not afford it.


    Under the bright glow coming from the lights, the man''s face was half shadowed, only allowing his left profile to be seen. As the night had fallen, there was silence everywhere, and I could hear the sound of my hammering heartbeat in my ears that was beating erratically in my chest.


    "Have you gone mute now? Are you hurt? Is it painful? Do we need to see the doctor?" The person continued scolding and asking me questions. He did not even stop for a moment instead, his concerned nagging ran in the background.


    He shook my shoulders, taking my whole weight on his body. "That''s it. I''m taking you to the hospital." Bending down, he picked me up in his arms, intending to take me to the hospital.


    I sobbed, holding onto his collar. "I''m sorry." The first thing that came out of my mouth was an apology. I did not know how to explain it to him. I was at a loss of words.


    Rushed footsteps soon sounded from the living room leading to the patio. There was more than one person. "Innaya? Why did you run off? Are you hurt?" Eshan sounded breathless as he asked me.


    Arjun''s body stiffened. He inhaled sharply, glancing down at me. His face turned cold all of sudden, and the concern he showed vanished in thin air.


    "Take your wife, and look after her¡­ least she runs away to some stranger," Arjun interrupted Eshan coldly. He then made a move to shift me to Eshan''s arms.


    I looped my arms around his neck and shook my head rapidly without looking at Eshan. I knew once he let go of me, I would not see him. My gut feeling was screaming at me. Shaking my head rapidly, I refused to let him go.


    "I''m sorry. I''m sorry¡­ sorry¡­ I''m sorry. I''m sorry. I''m sorry¡­ sorry¡­ I''m sorry." I lost the count of how many times I made the apology. I just wanted him to trust me once.


    "Why don''t you carry her in?" Eshan said in a restrained voice.


    Arjun struggled internally, his blue eyes showing his conflict. He made it clear that he wanted to dump me on the ground and get far far away from me.


    ***


    "Don''t go. I''m sorry." I refused to let go of Arjun''s neck. Under Eshan''s perusal, he had brought me to my bedroom and placed me on the bed. When he was about to move away, my arms around his neck did not loosen up, instead, they became insistent- fully intending not to let him leave.


    "Mrs. Singhaniya, it isn''t appropriate to hold onto some stranger. Let go of me," Arjun said as he tried to pry open my arms.


    The formal tone of his stabbed like knives and tears again rolled down from my eyes.


    "Sorry." Instead of an apology, I could not give him anything else. His aloof behavior was starting to get at me.


    "You don''t have to apologize to the strangers, Mrs. Singhaniya," Arjun said coldly, looking directly in my eyes. His deep, emotionless blue orbs started to scare me on finding no sense of closeness in them.


    "Broth-"


    "Uhu- I''m not your brother. I''m a friend of your husband who can''t see anything before his best friend," Arjun retorted, not letting me talk. This was the first time I addressed him as ''brother'', but he did not want that.


    "Arjun, enough now," Dad scolded him lightly. Then only I realized how inappropriate my actions must look to my in-laws. Eshan''s mother had already kicked a fuss over what kind of loose woman I was. My eyes unknowingly found her standing near the door. She did not enter inside much, just stayed a couple of feet near the door. Unconsciously I released my arms from his neck, and Arjun took that chance to get up. Startled, I stretched out my arms and grasped his hands.


    "Woof woof." Fortune barked at Arjun. He even went on to bump his nose against Arjun''s thighs.


    "Woof woof!"


    "You want to go home? Let''s leave in a moment, buddy." Arjun lowered his head, and a sober look flashed across his face.


    "No," I yelled, tugging at his hands. I would not let him go. Fortune did not want to go home, he was miffed with Arjun because he assumed that I was crying because of him. Reading Fortune, and understanding his emotions came naturally to me after spending so much time with him.


    "I''m sorry. Forgive me, please. I was not thinking straight. I- I¡­"


    Arjun turned to Eshan, who was standing near the foot of the bed. "Eshan, look after your wife. If her injury worsens, I''m afraid I can''t handle the blame."


    Eshan sighed, shaking his head. "Dad, mom, please rest early. We''ll talk tomorrow," he said to his parents. How embarrassing it must be for him to let his parents see his wife clinging pathetically to his friend. Stuck between stopping Arjun or letting him go, I was momentarily lost.


    Eshan''s parents left, nodding at him. Dad stopped at the door. He wanted to say something. "Arjun, remember your words. Don''t let a moment of hurt cloud your senses. It''s not worth it, son." Those were his imparting words to Arjun before his tall figure went out, closing the door on his way.

 Chapter 251 - I don’t mind being clawed by my drowning cat.

    |Innaya|


    "How about you keep everything aside and sleep for the night?" Eshan asked as he held me.


    Despite my attempts, Arjun still had left without sparing me another glance. Perhaps my words were too hurtful, and he did not want to have to do anything with me. I broke down into tears. It was Eshan who walked around the bed and sat beside me.


    He had not once tried to stop Arjun. He stood there with his arms crossed across his chest, watching how I pleaded to Arjun. He made no noise as if it was a statue placed in the room for the decoration purpose. So when he sat beside me, I scooted back on the bed. Pulling my injured ankle proved to be a wrong decision because it pained like hell.


    The angry red swelling had increased because of my rash behavior. I could only silently bear the consequence of not being mindful of my health.


    "You should have been careful." Eshan shook his head as he also noticed the swelling.


    "You should have stopped Arjun," I replied. The hoarse sound coming from my throat was too shrill to my ears that I wanted to stop talking. Averting my tear-stained face, I bit back the sob bubbling in my throat. I would not cry. Hastily, I wiped my face with the long sleeves of the dress I was wearing.


    Eshan opened the drawer of the bedside table and took out the tube of ointment. The doctor had prescribed that if the swelling increased. I did not want his help. "Give it to me. I''ll do it," I said, stretching my hand out.


    Eshan swatted my open palm to the side. He then adjusted my body in the half laying position on the bed. "You can hit me later, let me first tend to your injury," he said while he was adjusting cushions behind my back.


    He turned around and took out my purse next. He opened the zipper and pulled out a pack of wet face wipes. He sure knew where to find the stuff. "Clean your face. You look like a drowned cat."


    Saying his piece, he shifted his focus to tend to my ankle. Glaring at his downcast head for his comment of ''drowning cat'', I very much wanted to show what cats were capable of. He would understand after getting clawed.


    "Want to bare your claws? Go ahead. I don''t mind being clawed by my drowning cat."


    My eyes went wide at his casual remark, which he said without looking at me. Did he know how to read the mind? At this point, I forgot about crying, and only the shock overtook my feature. I even forgot to clean my face, and wet wipes remained safely tucked in their pack. Shocked to silence, I just sat with my back resting against the cushions.


    Eshan carefully applied the ointment to the swollen area. He then paid no heed to me while working before he went back to the bathroom to clean his hands. I just stared at the man whose weird behavior was attaining various peaks today.


    He left the door to the bathroom open. From where I sat, I could clearly see his curved back as he bent down to wash his hands under the tap.


    Eshan then wiped his hands with the hand towel before his hands went to the first button of his shirt. With a slow and steady movement, he opened a total of six buttons. Six. Yes, I counted each. Something was captivating with the way, Eshan carried out the simple task of unbuttoning his shirt.


    "The security was hired for your protection, not to make you worried. That was the only reason I kept it away from you. And, most importantly, we spent most of the time together. So even if you knew about them- it would not have mattered," Eshan said. He did not move an inch from his place, but his voice was audible to me, and I heard his explanation clearly.


    "Can you talk to Arjun?" I asked after staying silent for a minute or so. Though I badly wanted to argue with him for hiding such an important fact from me, my main priority was Arjun. I just could not erase his indifference from my memory. Disappointing him was never my intention, but I eventually did it.


    After the last incident of Eshan going missing, besides the promise I made to myself and Eshan, I had made a promise to Arjun as well. I wanted to improve, not for others but myself.


    I ended up messing everything.


    "I can¡­ but I won''t," Eshan replied.


    The first half of his sentence gave me hopes only to shatter them with his denial that followed. "Why?" I narrowed my eyes, wondering what reasons could there be that Eshan did not wish to help me.


    Eshan removed the shirt and dumped it in the dirty clothes bag. That was when I caught the big faded- green colored stain near the waist of the shirt. That oddly looked like a bitter gourd juice. With the help of the towel, he cleaned his waist. He then walked back into the room, but instead of coming to the bed, Eshan chose to sit on the couch.


    "I introduced a friend to you. After that when both of you decided to acknowledge a sibling relationship, I had nothing to do with it. Then how can you expect me to meddle now?" Crossing his legs, he leaned back. Intertwining his fingers, he placed them on his knees, looking relaxed and at ease in his bare upper torso.


    Though his lack of clothing distracted me for a bit, and I could not understand the reason behind not wearing clothes, I stayed silent. Pondering on his words Eshan''s surprised reaction on knowing that Arjun called me sister flashed in my memory.


    "Hurting him was not my intention."


    "Your words spoke otherwise," Eshan retorted. "Wipe your face. With all those tears, you must feel uncomfortable."


    Eshan''s reaction was too calm. Since the moment Arjun mentioned Karan''s name, he had gone silent. Yet, he was not this distant. Something seemed to have changed. Running myself through the things that happened after Karan''s name was brought in the conversation, I still failed to realize what went wrong. Taking out a wipe, I cleaned my face. That gave me time to think about the shift in Eshan''s demeanor. He was fine when he went to bring the water for me in the kitchen.


    Yes, everything was considerably fine then.


    Then where things went wrong?

 Chapter 252 - Want some alcohol?

    |Eshan|


    "You foolish woman, when will you learn to take care of yourself?" I muttered, looking at the adorable face my wife made while sleeping. Standing up from the couch, I made my way to the bed. She even forgot to clean her face properly.


    I picked up the box of her wet wipes and took out one. I wiped all the dried up tear marks from her face slowly. ''Why do you like to torture yourself? Huh?'' I caressed the side of her face.


    Shaking my head, I leaned down to kiss her smooth, soft hair. The tired woman fell asleep while thinking about god knows what in the sitting position. Perhaps it was because of medicine. Nevertheless, that was a good thing. She needed sleep to digest everything that happened today.


    Snaking a hand around her back, I adjusted Innaya in a lying position. She seemed to be drained because she did not even twitch a bit throughout my actions. Pulling the comforter over her, I switched off the lights in the room, leaving a table lamp on. Innaya did not like darkness. And, today, she was most likely to have a nightmare. So, leaving the dim yellow light was a must.


    Crossing my arms across my chest, I looked at her beautiful face. Innaya was a tenacious woman. She did not realize it herself. Though her past made many things difficult for her, she still crossed this trial of our love successfully, bearing all the pain and hurt. I never thought there was a deep-rooted conspiracy involved in this matter. Despite my attempts to uncover the whole truth, somehow, I ended up in a more tangled web.


    If not for Arjun showing up, we wouldn''t have escaped unscathed. Most importantly, Innaya would have been at the losing end. No amount of effort would have been able to restore everything to normal. I would have to know the whole truth before considering how much truth we should tell her.


    ''Sleep tight.'' I wished silently. I would accompany her, but I had to do something first.


    Taking out a black vest from the cupboard, I left the room to find the man who must be sulking in the corner.


    ***


    "Want some alcohol?" I asked the man who was gazing at the empty starless sky as he stood near the window of the guest room on the ground floor.


    Arjun chuckled, putting his arms in his pants pocket. He did not turn around though and had left the door open as if he knew I would be coming for a visit. "As if you have it."


    I walked inside the room, placed the mug of the coffee on the table beside the flower pot near the window. Taking my cup of tea, I sat on the bed. Contrary to what Innaya assumed, Arjun was still at our place. He did not leave knowing Innaya would not move around freely, owing to her injury. And, he did not want to be alone because some of his old wounds were torn open.


    I sighed as I thought about the difficult man. He would never talk about his problems. So, all I could do was give him space and time while accompanying him silently.


    Arjun made no move to take the mug. It was his favorite white mug with a smiley face. One day, he had just brought the mug, and placed it on the counter, declaring that he would drink coffee made by my hands only in this mug. His overbearing dominance in the declaration was too comical though. All five of us friends had fun at his expense, enjoying how we bantered and pulled his leg.


    That was a distant memory, but still fresh in my mind. In the last couple of months, we seemed to have grown distant. I would have to pay attention to them as well. Perhaps arranging a get together was in order.


    "Why are you here? Go to your wife. Otherwise, she will again start complaining," Arjun bitterly said.


    "If not for her ankle, she would be here instead of me," I replied, taking a sip of the tea, savoring the sweetness of the sugar. I preferred sweet tea when I was stressed. It helped relieve some of the bitterness in my life.


    If not for knowing Arjun for years, I would have mistaken his silence as ignorance. But, I knew that he was feeling guilty for causing her pain.


    "You should have told her the whole truth," I said. Tucking my legs underneath, I held the cup with both hands. The warmth of the tea, sipping through the cup warmed my palms. Compared to the cool breeze coming from the open window and the low temperature in the room, the hot tea was contrasting, yet welcoming.


    Arjun picked up his mug, brought it to his lips, but did not drink it. His hair was messed, and I knew he was the one messing them. His blue eyes looked ahead without blinking. His fingers tightened around the mug.


    "Don''t break the cup," I warned abruptly, looking at the increasing pressure he was exerting unknowingly.


    "What truth? Do you even know the truth you are talking about?" Arjun snapped, breaking out of the trance he was in.


    I shook my head. "That''s why I''m here." I sipped the tea again, waiting for him to explain the truth.


    "There is no such truth. Aunty will explain everything tomorrow. You can know your truth then," Arjun said. Lowering his head a little, he looked at the liquid in the mug. That was his habit. He would observe the beverage first, take a sniff before bringing it to his lips and taking a sip. He did the same now as well. "Thanks for the coffee."


    "I want to know what you discovered. When did you get your hands on Ayesha''s intimate photos? Let me rephrase it, how did you know about everything? You were out on mis- ... right?" I caught myself before blurting out things I should not. Mentioning his matters was a big no, and it had everything to do with the protocol of his job.


    "I don''t know what you are talking about. The material was given by Kar-"


    I interrupted him before he could try to bluff his way out of the matter. "Arjun, you can''t lie to me."


    Arjun turned around and leaned against the window frame. Tasting the coffee again, he narrowed his eyes."Why are you so certain?" he fired his question.


    "You were out of reach the whole time, and suddenly you showed up out of nowhere, and that too from inside the house when Ayesha''s mother brought that photo." My eyes darkened, recalling how I was caught off-guard with that n.a.k.e.d photo she produced out of nowhere. That photo was enough to ruin all the plans of today.


    I chuckled sarcastically with how he still thought that he could evade me with his roundabout way of twisting the truth. "Are you saying that Karan could reach you when I could not? Huh?"

 Chapter 253 - Can you hide it from your wife?

    |Eshan|


    "Maybe."


    The careless answer Arjun gave almost caused me to throw the cup of tea in my hands at his face. This man was so infuriating at times, that I did not know how to handle him.


    "Do you believe I would beat you up?"


    "And I would let you?"


    Staring at his aloof face and how he did not answer truthfully I was tempted to try my fists on him. But, the experience worth of many years of beating I received from him, made me drop the idea altogether. Innaya was already injured, and if I were to get injured as well who would look after whom?


    My parents would obviously want to help, but Innaya would not agree. Sighing, I console myself with the excuse of letting him off at Innaya''s expense.


    "I''ll let you off on your sister''s behalf," I said, acting as being magnanimous. I placed my now empty cup aside and straightened up.


    "She isn''t my sister." Arjun shook his head, looking away.


    I smiled. "If the ties were so easily broken, then there would be no relationship in this world. You can lie to Innaya, but you can''t fool me. She''s the only one you dared to consider family in all these years. You want me to believe that you are ready to sever ties over her words which she spoke in a moment of distress? The Arjun I know - is not that petty."


    Arjun visibly flinched at my words. I did not want to say something that might remind him of his past, but he¡­ he was not making things easy. Then again, if he was that easy to handle he would not be ''The Arjun Arya.''


    "You''ve not heard much. I''ve had it worse, remember?" I said, hinting at the past incident of Innaya blaming me.


    That incident still sent waves of guilt to my heart for not handling the situation properly. I had failed to protect her and our relationship, almost causing our relationship to be on the verge of collapse.


    "You were the one to insist that we should not react on impulse and let mindless words ruin the beautiful relationship. Now, what happened to you? I understand, it brings past hurtful memories, but you know her. She truly did not mean it," I elaborated. It was needed to explain things to him because he understood it as well.


    "What do you want from me? I''m not talking about your wife." Arjun stubbornly clung onto his hurt.


    "Tell me the truth behind the incident. Whole truth. Every. Single. Thing." I emphasized each word, stressing what I wanted.


    Arjun sighed. He looked conflicted. "Can you hide it from your wife?" he asked after staying silent for a moment.


    I was stunned. He knew what happened today. Innaya reacted badly after knowing things were kept hidden from her. Still, he was asking to keep this away from her. Narrowing my eyes, I wondered what I should do.


    "Your answer."


    Arjun was not giving me time to think about the pros and cons. He would not ask me to hide things for taking revenge on Innaya''s distrust. He was not that petty. So, agreeing to him was not a bad choice, but it still would be deceit to Innaya.


    "Arjun, you''ve seen what happened today. I don''t want to keep her in the dark," I said after thinking for a while. Innaya''s panic situation, aggrieved reaction, everything made me choose not to hide things from Innaya unless I had a solid reason to do so.


    "She won''t be able to bear it. I would rather keep you in dark than letting you spill the beans to her because that stupid heart of yours wants to come clean to her," Arjun replied as he placed his coffee aside. He had just sipped four times. I did mean to count, but there was nothing else to do in the room other than observing him.


    The new information he revealed got me to stand up in a shock. "She won''t be able to bear it? You''ve seen what she went through today, and she is learning to cope up with it. How are you so sure that she won''t be able to bear it?" I asked, almost raising my voice.


    "Keep your voice down. Do you want the whole world to know?" Arjun snapped as he glared at me.


    He then went around and closed the door after making sure that no one was around. His cautious action finally made me realize the severity of the situation. He was not kidding. He knew something which no one did - not even Karan and mom.


    "Tell me," I said solemnly.


    "Have you made up your mind?" Arjun asked again once he locked the door and walked to the chair placed near the window.


    "Yes." I nodded seriously.


    Arjun accessed me with his sharp blue eyes as if he was trying to discern the authenticity of my words.


    "What we are about to talk about in this room today, this should never go out of this room¡­ I repeat never," Arjun said seriously.


    The severity of his tone gave me an ominous feeling.


    I nodded agreeing to him silently. I just wanted to know what was serious that Arjun wanted not a single soul to know.


    "Do you know why Sahil hates Innaya so much?" Arjun asked, and his question threw me off guard.


    "Sahil? What does he have to do with this? How is this topic linked to him?" I did not understand honestly.


    "Everything started with him. So, in a way he has everything to do with this?" Arjun leaned back in the chair, crossing his legs.


    "... How?" I asked with a palpitating heart. If Sahil was the mastermind behind this incident¡­ I did not want to think about it. He seemed pretty apologetic last time¡­ He would not harm Innaya so much. Would he?


    "Sahil is Ayesha''s ex-boyfriend," Arjun said without blinking.


    "What?" Shocked, I thought I heard it wrong. "Are you saying that Sahil is Ayesha''s ex?" I asked to make sure that I was not hearing things.


    "Stop yelling. Otherwise, I ain''t telling you anything," Arjun replied annoyed.


    "If you''re dropping bombs like this, you can''t expect me to play dumb," I retorted, but this time I made sure to lower my voice.


    "Please, continue." Noticing the look of annoyance on his face, I decided to control myself.


    "No. First you learn to be quiet because if you keep reacting like this, everyone is going to wake up and learn what I''m trying to hide," Arjun said, folding his arms across his chest.


    ***


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 Chapter 254 - If only I could smash everything.

    |Eshan|


    "Are you done acting on impulse?" Arjun asked after what seemed like an eternity. No amount of urging, no threatening, and no pleading worked on him. He just sat there like a sculpture without saying anything. His attitude had been clear. He did not want me to interrupt him. He expected me to shut up and listen.


    I was just going to do that.


    Because?


    I had no other option. If Arjun got annoyed because of me, he would not think twice before leaving the house. This time no one would be able to find him, not that we could find him anyway. He was a master of disguise and skilled at vanishing. Even the shadows would pale in comparison with him.


    "I will not interrupt you now. Continue," I said while sitting down on the bed. To make sure that I would not interrupt, I placed a pillow in my lap. I would just punch the poor pillow if I failed to control my emotions.


    Arjun cast a disdainful glance. That look of disdain in his eyes made me want to punch him all the more. What was I? A child? Who could not control his emotions? Hmph! Stupid!


    "Sahil told you about the conversation between Siya and Innaya, remember?"


    I nodded. Sahil had played a recording of Innaya and Siya''s conversation from the cafe. I had no idea that he would eavesdrop on Innaya and her friend''s convo. I had only realized it once I heard Innaya''s voice.


    "But, he did that out of goodwill, right?"


    Arjun scoffed. "Goodwill? Are you sure? Who records the conversation sneakily these days? If he had so much of a problem, wouldn''t it be good to involve Innaya as well?"


    I fell silent. Arjun was right. Sahil had repeatedly asked me not to let Innaya know. He had said that he accidentally recorded and had no intention of using it to sow discord between our relationship.


    "Ayesha broke up with him six months ago, citing the reason that he was just your replacement in her heart, and she just could not forget you. At that time, Sahil was pissed. That damn dwarf- he could not handle the rejection. But that sly vixen - she faked a suicide. That fool could not even see what was right and what was wrong. Ayesha demanded that he helped her unite with you for the sake of love he holds for her."


    I clenched my jaw. That fool. How could he just believe Ayesha? What about our years of friendship?


    "Are you saying, it was a joint plan of Sahil and Ayesha to drive away Innaya from my life, from so long?" I asked, clutching the pillow in my fists.


    "... Not entirely. Initially, no one knew about your marriage. So, the day when you told us, Sahil was shocked. That day he wanted to talk to you about Ayesha and convince you to marry her¡­ but, then you dropped the bomb of your marriage. He''s happy internally because that just meant that you were out of the race. Who knew, Ayesha would stage another suicide attempt. He fell for it, and decided to separate you and Innaya." Arjun''s fingers tapped on the armrest of the chair.


    "What? How could he? When did Sahil change so much?" I just could not believe that Sahil would be the main perpetrator behind the mess.


    "Actually, Ayesha was not the only reason behind this. Someone played him by the nose. His weakness was used as a weapon against us. That fool learned his lesson though after Karan kidnapped Innaya," Arjun said. His eyes glazed as if he was remembering the kidnapping fiasco.


    "Karan knew everything and still played a good guy? He fooled mom by making her believe that he was helping, but in reality, he wanted to take Innaya away?" I almost strangled the pillow, imagining it to be Sahil and Karan''s neck. "And, who played him by the nose? Karan? Did he use Sahil?"


    Arjun shook his head, throwing a red marble from the bowl placed at the table for the decoration purpose at me."Stop jumping to conclusions."


    "... Are you for real?" I caught the marble before it could hit me on the head and returned the throw at him, which he skillfully avoided by moving his head.


    Arjun chuckled. "Tsk-Tsk! This is what happens when you do not know what patience is. I lured you into the trap, and you jumped, missing your best chance to attack."


    I sneered at him. Was this the time to riddle?


    "Stop with your riddles, and get to the point."


    "Huh? Be more respectful."


    I sighed. Getting irritated was not the option. I calmed down before asking Arjun to explain everything.


    "I won''t say a word now. Tell me everything." I tightened my grip on the pillow. By now, I was sure that the pillow cover must be torn, yet I did not glance down.


    Keeping my eyes fixed on the man holding all the information I needed, I waited for him to start talking.


    "What''s Sahil weakness?" Arjun asked. He again shifted the topic and jumped to be a questionnaire.


    "Gold Digger women," I answered swiftly. Sahil''s past made him the way he was. His whole family almost got destroyed because of a woman. So his hatred for the women who destroyed other families for money was well known in our friend circle. And, that was the reason I had let him go when he was insulting Innaya.


    "Right!" Arjun nodded. "Someone made him believe that Innaya was a gold digger who wanted to destroy you."


    This time I could not sit still. Neither punching the pillow was enough to ease my anger.


    "Before you scream, remember that I will leave," Arjun said in a lowered voice as he tilted his head in the direction of the door.


    That shut me up instantly though the anger burning in my chest only grew stronger.


    If only I could smash everything.


    * * *

 Chapter 255 - You were not the target.

    |Eshan|


    "Who''s that person?" I asked, barely able to control myself. I just wanted to kill the person who badmouthed my Innaya. Degraded her by saying that she was a gold digger. "There''s no doubt that Sahil fell for the trap. If this point was not used, then he would not have reacted that way. Why did he not confirm before jumping to the conclusion? Who''s the person?" I could not help but pace in the room. The anger caused the temperature of my body to rise up, almost bringing tears in my eyes because of the anger.


    "He doesn''t know." Arjun shrugged his shoulders.


    "You-" Pointing a finger at him, I was lost for the words. "But, you know. Who''s the person?"


    Arjun smiled. He knew it. If he decided to do something, then there was nothing that would be hidden from his eyes. He held the capability of unearthing the dead from the grave. "You still want to hear?" he asked while tapping his long fingers on the armrest impatiently.


    "Say it." I stopped pacing and waited impatiently for him to unmask the hidden enemy.


    "Ayesha''s mother. She was the one who''s behind everything."


    ''Why? I don''t understand her reason behind trying to ruin Innaya''s life. I''m not the only successful and rich man out there. There are a lot of guys who are a complete package- even better than me, then why me? The girl who did not see me for so many years, how can she carry a torch for me from so long- even going to great lengths of ruining someone''s life. I simply don''t understand what the purpose was. Why so deep conspiracy to drive Innaya out of my life."


    I held my head in my hands. Nothing made sense to me. Nothing. I just could not get the reason, but judging from Arjun''s somber look, I knew the worst was yet to come.


    "You were never the target," Arjun said. I raised my head.


    I frowned. "Huh? What do you mean by that?"


    "Have you turned dumb from the anger?" Arjun scoffed. "Don''t tell me your IQ has dropped to minus¡­ Well, that''s technically impossible though."


    "Shut up!"


    "Are you sure you want me to shut up?" Arjun raised his eyebrow, his blue eyes mocking me.


    I breathed, closing my eyes. His words played in my mind. If I was not the target, then that only meant¡­ Innaya. Innaya was the target.


    My eyes flew open at the realization.


    "Why Innaya? Innaya doesn''t have any relationship with Ayesha''s mother. How? Why?" I rambled on because it was not making sense to me. Just to what extent their enmity ran towards Innaya, to plan so much to ruin her.


    The actions they took were not a result of one day, rather it was in-depth planning of months. They would have surely succeeded if their schemes were not discovered in time.


    "Yes, they would have succeeded in the plan had Karan not intervened timely," Arjun said, interrupting my thoughts.


    I froze. Karan again.


    "Actually that kidnapping fiasco¡­The real kidnapping by those two lunatics would have happened if Karan''s men did not act first that day. Karan had been living hints behind for us, but we were not able to guess¡­ Sahil had asked for Karan''s help to keep an eye on Innaya and gather proof of her being a gold digger. That was why Karan returned to the country.


    Before he returned, he did his research and realized how Sahil was being used. Not only did he gather proof of Innaya''s innocence, but taught a good lesson to Sahil. That was when Sahil understood how he was helping the wrong people¡­ but then again it was too late. Ayesha and her mother had gotten their hands on Innaya''s close shots in this house which was impossible without Sahil''s help" Arjun explained slowly.


    I sat down on the bed unable to process so much information. So much was happening in the background in my own house.


    "After that Sahil wanted to confess everything but Karan stopped him, because he wanted to gather evidence against the mother-daughter pair, and know their actual motive behind doing these things. That is why we did not know that someone was plotting viciously against Innaya."


    I sighed, cursing Sahil in my head.


    ***


    |Innaya|


    Waking up to an empty bed is not a nice feeling when your brain is as empty as the bed. With heavy eyes in a dimly lit room looking around I did not spot the familiar figure of my husband.


    This feeling was not unfamiliar. For the past month, I have been waking up to a cold bed, while Eshan slept in the guestroom or study. He even moved his belongings out of this room.


    Spotting the bandage on my ankle and feeling the stinging pain, memories of the day returned, filling my mind with pleasant and unpleasant emotions both.


    How did I fall asleep? Last I remember, I was asking Eshan about talking to Arjun which he denied straightly. When did I fall asleep then? My head felt heavy, and body tired. Why was I feeling so weak suddenly? I wondered where Eshan went because the door of the bathroom was latched from the outside.


    That only meant he was not in the bathroom. And, that also meant he was not in the room. Where did he go so late?


    "He won''t sleep in the guest room, will he?" I stared at the closed door of the bedroom for a while. I shook my head after thinking. His parents were present, he would not sleep in the guest room in their presence. Moreover, the chances of his being in the study were minimal because his mind would not be at ease.


    Then where was he?


    I very much wanted to find him, but my heavy eyelids made it difficult to stay awake. I succ.u.mbed to the sleep even before realizing it. Finding Eshan turned out to be the only thought on my mind before it shut down completely.


    ***


    Thank you for reading.


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    There were some unforeseen circ.u.mstances because of which I did not manage to write the chapters. Sorry for the inconvenience to those who were waiting for updates.

 Chapter 256 - Exactly what are you dreaming Kitten?

    |Eshan|


    Dragging my feet, I somehow ended up at the door of the bedroom. With a click, the door got unlocked, and I pushed the door. Innaya slept in the same position I had left her in. Her face showed frowning lines, and the blanket was kicked aside. Her weird sleeping habits were showing up, but if she kept on doing that, the recovery time of her ankle injury was going to be a lot longer.


    That beautiful face of hers showed clear signs of exhaustion even after sleeping for more than four hours. Leaning against the doorframe, I crossed my arms across the chest. Arjun''s explanation regarding the whole matter revolved in my head. Though I was angry, I could not help but feel grateful for Arjun''s timely intervention.


    The last move by Ayesha''s mother was not limited to that n.a.k.e.d photo she had taken out, but there were videos ready to be uploaded on the internet. No matter what would have happened today, she was determined to ruin Innaya. The contents of the videos Arjun played were too shameful, and I understood why he did not want Innaya to know.


    The woman in those videos which looked like Innaya, or made to look like Innaya was engaged in a deed that would even put those in the a.d.u.l.t industry to shame. And, there was not only a single video but a couple of them with different men but the same content.


    Arjun did not explain much after he received a call from someone. He seemed to be in a hurry, so he forwarded me those videos and repeatedly reminded me to delete them after watching. He left after telling me that I should stop searching about the matter because it started with Ayesha''s mother, and as she was in jail, this matter could be considered as having reached the end.


    The yellow light coming from the night lamp gave Innaya''s beautiful face an alluring look. Her long eyelashes fluttered for a moment before she turned her head to the other side.


    The small distance between us that appeared to be separated by a deep valley of ploys. Sometimes it was better to let go of the things than letting them destroy our lives. The best option was to hide this from Innaya because once she learned the existence of those videos, she would never be able to recover.


    Trauma certain situations left on a human mind could not be erased so easily. Innaya already had her share of psychological issues that haunted her now and then. It would be cruel to push another wave of stress on her.


    "Eshan¡­"


    In the dark, silent night of despair which wanted to swallow me whole with the intricate traps the enemy had carefully laid out, a soft whisper of my name grasped at my depressed mind. Following the feather-like voice that had broken through the haze of the uncertainties of mine, I inched closer to the woman who possessed the power to make me feel the comfort of her arms.


    The culprit who just managed to break through the dark clouds and caressed my heart softly was still asleep. Innaya seemed to have called my name in her sleep.


    This adorable woman!


    Getting into the bed, I pulled her soft, supple body in my arms. The familiarity with which Innaya twisted and moved to find the comfortable spot on my chest before settling in caused my breath the quicken with the guilt and remorse. Breathing in the faint lavender smell the pressure on my chest increased.


    ''Sweetheart, I should not be lying to you¡­ but I don''t have a choice. Those videos, they truly are not something that I would let you take a look at¡­ ever. You can blame me how much you want but I won''t let this matter reach you ever.''


    Caressing those silky locks, I marveled at the way Innaya snuggled close to me. ''My doubts regarding that man were right. Hiring security for you was the best decision I took. Though they failed to protect you when mom came, they did a great job at keeping you away from the prying eyes of that detective.''


    I sighed recalling, how the man who met us at the beach turned out to have connections to Ayesha''s mother. I was not clear on it, but Carl managed to find out some clue, and given a chance, he would have reached Ayesha''s mother. The only thing I was still unaware of was the reason why she wanted to harm Innaya so much.


    ''I will make sure that those two women will rot in jail for the rest of their lives. They dared to mess with my wife, I''ll let them learn the consequences of hurting an innocent. I promise you, I won''t let you suffer.'' I vowed in my heart.


    Innaya pouted in her sleep. My gaze was drawn to those plump lips as if a moth is drawn to fire even after knowing the consequence. Letting her sleep for a while was the best option, but the possessive man inside me who had just gotten to know about the disturbing information did not want to let go. I reached out a thumb to caress the soft skin of her lower lip.


    Innaya folded her lips before her mouth opened a bit. The tip of that slippery tongue slipped out, licking her lips, and in the process brushed against the pad of my thumb. Sucking in a cold breath of air, I willed myself to stay still. I did not want to wake her up. The more she slept, the more time I had to sort out my emotions¡­ but my dear wife seemed to have plans of torturing me. She stirred, and her eyebrows furrowed in discomfort.


    I did not have a chance to pull back my thumb, but then again, I did not want to. God knows what came over her, but the moment that playful tongue retreated, Innaya''s lips ended up wrapping around my thumb.


    "Mm¡­ ice-cream¡­"


    Damn it. Why did she have to torture me like this? How did my thumb urn into an ice-cream? Her mischievous tongue circled around my thumb that was held captive by those plump lips. In her sleep, Innaya sucked and slowly nibbled on my thumb which she assumed to be her i


    ''Exactly what are you dreaming Kitten?''


    ***


    This week''s goal: (Let''s try and achieve it.)


    1000 power stones- 1 extra chapter on Sunday


    1200 power stones- 2 extra chapters on Sunday

 Chapter 257 - The desires that wanted to let loose.

    WARNING:: SLIGHTLY MATURE CONTENT


    ***


    |Innaya|


    The vanilla flavor ice-cream in my hand was melting. I pouted, I did not want it to go waste. Darting my tongue, I dragged it across the melted ice-cream on the cone.


    Weird! It did not taste sweet. Instead, it was tasteless, and neither was it cold.


    I frowned. Putting away my displeasure, I decided to take a big bite from the cone lest it melted. The ice-cream which was still in good shape would not taste bland, would it?


    Again, weird¡­ It tasted the same, and instead of a soft, melting texture, I was met with the hardness. Why would an ice-cream be hard instead of soft? This ice-cream was the weirdest- I had ever eaten. I lost my appetite for eating it. I spat it out of my mouth.


    "Hmph¡­ stupid ice-cream. I''ll throw you in the dustbin," I muttered angrily.


    "Stup- mmph¡­ mm¡­ umph¡­"


    The two brown orbs darkened beyond my understanding were staring down at me, almost shooting the daggers when I opened my eyes.


    Eshan''s cold lips pressed heavily against mine, and I did not even have time to understand what was happening before his kiss turned deeper. The sleep laden confused mind of mine stopped working as I gazed at Eshan''s eyes. Something was different in them. Something deeper, something intimate, and something that was powerful enough to rattle my bones.


    I could not help but freeze and forget what was happening. That did not last long, because Eshan seemed to be not in the mood of taking my blankness. For his teeth nibbled on the corner of my lips before I felt him capturing the tip of my tongue between his teeth.


    "Wahet¡­ al.. u... duin¡­ umph¡­" The words came out broken and incoherent as I tried to struggle my way out of his clamped teeth. Eshan''s hands reached out, cupping my face. He held me steady before he without as much as zero explanation sucked at my tongue as if he wanted to pull it out my throat.


    What the actual hell!


    Bringing my palms forward, I pushed at his chest. He was taking away the air in my lungs. Those pearly white teeth loosened their hold. When I thought he was going to pull away, Eshan again surprised me with swooping down and locking his lips on mine.


    The intensity of his sudden and unexpected kiss blew away residual sleep leaving me wide awake and speechless. With a swift motion, he turned me on my back. That was when I realized I had been lying on his chest all along.


    Eshan placed his left palm below my head when he turned both of us being considerate that my head should not hit the pillow.


    O _ O


    ^ _ ^


    @[email protected]


    The Eshan before me seemed to be possessed by something as he continued his assault on my lips- sometimes gentle, sometimes soft, and sometimes aggressive¡­ But in everything, he made sure not to hurt me. All the reasoning and thoughts flew out of my mind as the seductive web of Eshan''s actions slowly started heating up my body.


    Eshan did not stop at that. He flipped himself and trapped me on the bed between his two long, firm hands. Balancing the weight of his upper body with his hands, Eshan continued to steal my breath away.


    The man before me was like a raging tornado that wanted to sweep me away from my feet, taking me in his powerful aura¡­ intending to destroy every bit of sanity I had left with, with his purposefully imposing passion.


    .


    .


    .


    .


    "W-what was that?" I stammered as my heart hammered in my chest loudly. Eshan''s powerful and persistent ministrations had thrown my mind in a frenzy, and even after he left me, I needed time to gather myself.


    Just what on the earth had gotten into him?


    Eshan''s handsome face loomed over me, while his incredibly passion-filled eyes stared at me in complete attention. The intensity with which he looked at my face, why did I suddenly feel shyness blanketing me. Even when he was apparently willing to help me in the sponge bath¡­ I did not feel this kind of passion in his eyes.


    That time, I was barely covered. While right now, my whole body was fully covered, then what ticked him off so much that his control was snapping away?


    Eshan just watched me quietly. His gaze resembled that of hunters who would observe his prey before making his move. He brought his thumb to my lips and apply little pressure as he rubbed them softly. If possible, I felt his eyes darkening more.


    "Stupid huh? You want to throw me in the dustbin?" Eshan asked in a low, throaty voice. In the silent room, his voice sounded extremely pleasant as well as stirring.


    "Huh?"


    "..."


    "What do you mean by throwing you in the dustbin?" Perplexed, I asked, not understanding what game he was playing.


    ***


    |Eshan|


    That adorably naive expression on Innaya''s face caused my insides to tighten with a flame of a desire. Those recently kissed lips looked so delectable that I wanted to just taste them again.


    Innocently she had walked on the path that was too dangerous and without zero retreats. The sleeping beauty did not know that she was waking up the resting lion with her blissful unawareness. Even after those repeated kisses, I still could not get enough of her. The desire to get close to her was too strong to ignore, and with the slightly teary gaze Innaya questioned me, I lost it.


    Leaning down, I captured those extremely inviting lips before pulling her bottom lip within the prison of my lips. Naturally, my male instinct was acting up, and the man within me wanted nothing but to possess the woman beneath me- wholly.


    Still, the rationality kicked in. Innaya was injured, and she deserved being cherished, not the hormonally driven hastiness. Nothing was disgusting for a girl than the touch she never asked for¡­ I would not stoop down to that level despite us loving each other so much.


    While kissing her, I knew where to put a stop. I never intended to cross all the barriers tonight. Truthfully, kissing her awake, was not even in the plan. It just happened when my beautiful kitten accidentally wandered in the forbidden territory.


    Closing my eyes, I summoned the restaurants with great difficulty and pulled myself away from Innaya. Lying on the back, I concentrated on taking deep breaths and suppressing the desires that wanted to let loose.


    ***


    This week''s goal: (Let''s try and achieve it.)


    1000 power stones- 1 extra chapter on Sunday


    1200 power stones- 2 extra chapters on Sunday

 Chapter 258 - What I want to eat is not in the kitchen.

    WARNING: SLIGHTLY MATURE CHAPTER AHEAD


    ***


    |Innaya|


    The labored breathing of the man sounded alluring in the silent bedroom. Amidst the panting of my own, my mind worked hard to process what just happened.


    Turning my head slightly to face Eshan, I dared not to move carelessly. Eshan had his left arm covering his eyes. His chest moved upside down in a steady fast manner as he inhaled and exhaled slowly as if concentrating on keeping his breathing normal. His right hand curled in a tight fist on his chest. His whole body was as stiff as a wooden block. Unconsciously my eyes trailed downward, and I wished I would not have, for there was something¡­


    AH!


    Swiftly looking away, I covered my own face. I now understood Eshan''s bizarre reaction and why he looked like he was restraining something. One look at Eshan''s clothed lower half, and I knew that those novels sometimes did not lie¡­


    Damn it!


    (> _ _ _ _ _ < )


    I remained silent. I was not stupid to invite troubles again. The warm breath of Eshan tickled against my skin gently, causing my face to turn a shade darker if that was humanly possible because I knew my face had already turned red.


    The cold lips pressing against my close eyelids caused me to press myself more into sheets. He was not doing anything, but the seemingly small caresses were sending flutters in the pit of my stomach.


    "Innaya, you can''t avoid your responsibility. You started this¡­ now you must see that it reaches a perfect end¡­ hmm?" Eshan whispered in my ears.


    Since when Eshan learned to talk this way? (O _ O) Ah!


    "When did I start anything? I was sleeping soundly. It''s you¡­ you-" who decided to take advantage of me.


    I lost my voice to the smirk that was playing on Eshan''s lips. He freed my chin and brought his thumb before my eyes. There were red teeth marks left on the skin of the pad of his thumb.


    "Still denying? Who was the one biting this? Sucking on it like an ice-cream, and talking about throwing in the dustbin, huh?" Eshan pressed his thumb in the middle of my lips before tugging at my bottom lip while rubbing a circle on it.


    The realization slowly dawned on me. It was no ice-cream, but Eshan''s thumb I was taking liberties with. I was dreaming of eating an ice-cream, and¡­ (O _ O)


    AH!!!


    With guilt, I looked up to meet his eyes. "Sorry," I mumbled, tugging at his hand so that he could stop touching my face as he pleased. I was still recovering from the passion he had displayed early.


    "Sorry? Hmm¡­ I don''t agree."


    ''I don''t agree.'' That one sentence caused ripples in my heart. What did he mean by not agreeing?


    "Can you get off me? W-we can discuss it afterward," I said, pointing with my eyes to remove his pressing weight. Eshan was not putting his whole weight on me, but he did not need to know that. Handling him from such proximity was creating troubles for me.


    Eshan shook his head, his lips turning into a knowing smile. "I''m quite comfortable here. Don''t you think so?"


    Comfortable? There was only the absence of sweat to start dripping from my forehead.


    Eshan leaned further, his dark eyes watching me as they held a tinge of humor. "So, where were we? Ah! I remember we were talking about you taking the responsibility," he said playfully.


    Out of nowhere, he just swooped down and bit the tip of my nose.


    "Ouch!" I rubbed my nose and glared at him. "Are you hungry? Go to the kitchen," I said, pushing at his chest.


    Eshan refused to move. He held both of my hands captive in his left hand before he moved to my face again. I turned my head to my left, avoiding him. Eshan chuckled while his lips landed on my cheek.


    The stupid man left a big wet kiss on my cheek, and his throat laughter followed afterward. "What I want to eat is not in the kitchen."


    ***


    Thank you for reading.


    The updates will be irregular this week :-(


    If you would like to connect with me:


    Discord: Mukta (My Vulnerary Husband)#5392


    Discord MVH server: discord.gg/GVKXAbD


    Instagram: @mukta_mvh

 Chapter 259 - Darling, I’m being pretty straightforward here.

    WARNING: MATURE CONTENT AHEAD. KINDLY PROCEED WITH CAUTION ( > _ <)


    ***


    |Innaya|


    "Eshan, can you stop talking double meaning things?"


    "Darling, I''m being pretty straightforward here. If my meaning is still unclear to you, let me show you with my actions," saying this, Eshan''s left hand went inside through the cotton pajama top and held my bare waist.


    The warm palm caressing my waist, teasingly dancing across my skin, literally caused me to jerk up. Though I was not ticklish, this was far from being ticklish. Eshan''s mere touch with that smoldering gaze caused my stomach to clench.


    "W-what exactly are you doing?" I snapped out of it. My voice coming out stammering as the pressing weight of the man and his mischievous fingers made it difficult to remain clear-headed.


    Eshan blew air in my ear before pulling my earlobe in his mouth. The soft, tender flesh of my earlobe was a little too sensitive. I shuddered when he sucked slowly on it.


    "Can I take liberties with you, Innaya?" Eshan asked, and this time his voice did not sound as playful as before. He sounded more serious. Slowly turning my head, I found his eyes that were scrutinizing me carefully. "For tonight."


    My breath stuck in my throat as I witnessed the guarded and desperate emotions in his eyes. Until now, Eshan seemed to be being playful and had no intention of being serious. Suddenly he felt different as if something was bothering him.


    He freed my hands and put some distance between us, though he did not get up completely.


    "Just for tonight. I won''t hurt your leg. I''ll be careful," Eshan added, holding my gaze.


    Eshan''s seriousness caused my heart to fall in the turmoil¡­ It did not look like it was something causal, or he was just being excited, but it felt as if he was battling something, and he wanted to find comfort with me¡­ with our intimacy.


    Suddenly that night, when we returned from the beach, flashed in my mind, reminding me of that memory when Eshan was seeking reassurance. He had not said anything that night, but I had felt his need for support. This time was no different. Eshan seemed to be seeking emotional and physical support. Despite knowing about my injury, if he was asking about my opinion and wanted to go further, then this was not simple.


    Perhaps this was the night where we would be husband and wife in a true sense¡­ belonging to each other completely.


    In a split second, I made my decision. Actually, it was not a hasty decision. On our sixth month wedding anniversary, after Eshan left for his trip, I had thought about it. That afternoon''s incident had reminded me about how I was still keeping my distance from him.


    And, after going through so much heartache for the past one month, perhaps it was the right thing to do. Everyone has a different kind of hunger at different points of life. For some people, it could be food. For others, it could be knowledge. Physical and emotional hunger is also a part of our lives.


    "Forget it," Eshan spoke. I did not realize I was spacing out and had ignored him, causing him to misunderstand.


    Eshan attempted to get up from above me. The moment he decided to move, the light in his eyes dimmed, and an air of melancholy circled around him. The ocean of his patience shone brilliantly, and his firm sense of self-control gave a feeling of warm blanket that has been recently sun-dried.


    Eshan''s way of being himself, without imposing his thoughts, words, and beliefs, was like a presence of the rising sun to the sunflower. The orange-reddish circle of life which starts the journey on the horizon that never compels others to follow its journey, yet the sunflower awaiting the arrival of the lover, can''t help but follow him ardently from afar.


    I felt like that sunflower. I could observe Eshan from so close, yet so far, not able to understand how well he hid his feelings and thoughts in the secret chamber of his heart, always giving his best to others.


    "You said it. Don''t aggravate my injury." Tugging at his collar, I pulled him down, surprising him and myself with a kiss that did not stop at a simple peck.


    The burst of courage shot me from all sides as if a dark night was suddenly lightened up by a group of fireflies. With my newly profound courage, I wrapped my arms around Eshan''s neck as he fell on top of me by being caught unaware.


    Just like those waves in the ocean relentlessly journeying forward in hope of meeting the shore, my lips moved to his. The bliss of first rain after a sweltering summer faded in-front of this feeling of proactively proclaiming my love through action. This man had always given. He was extremely capable of taking in what he desires, yet he never did.


    Taking the reins in my hands gave me confidence, which intensified with the relief and a surprise that flashed across Eshan''s face. It only lasted for a moment before Eshan willingly moved in my arms, taking in everything happily that I was offering.


    Our lips danced in beautiful harmony, tongues reaching out for a battle of affection. Through the gaps in my fingers, his silky smooth hair escaped like water, until I gripped those black strands in a fist. Eshan''s lips pressed further into mine, his hand slipped behind my head. My back arched on the bed as I tried to match his passion.


    Just like evaporating water vapor, I freed all the thoughts from my mind. The woman in me wanted to live the moment to the fullest, without having the slightest tinge of doubts in my heart. These kisses, I had missed them, to say the least.


    Eshan''s other hand wandered inside my top through the opening he found near my waist. I gasped in his mouth for air as I felt the rise in temperature. Suddenly I could feel myself wishing for something more.


    "Innaya," Eshan rasped, ending the kiss with a deep smooch. "I-" His eyes dropped down to my shirt before they met mine. Those brown orbs waited for permission.


    ***

 Chapter 260 - Afraid?

    WARNING: MATURE CONTENT AHEAD: READERS ARE WARNED TO PROCEED WITH CAUTION:: KEEP A REMOTE OF AC AND GLASS OF COLD WATER BY YOUR SIDE (:-D):: JUST DON''T KEEP ROTTEN TOMATOES AND EGGS TO THROW AT THIS AUTHOR IF THIS CHAPTER DOES NOT MEET YOUR EXPECTATIONS. ( Author is running away¡­ lol)


    ***


    |Innaya|


    With a thudding heart, I slowly let go of my arms around Eshan''s neck. Holding his intense gaze, I took his face in my hands, caressing his cheeks with my fingers.


    Eshan turned his face and kissed the insides of my palm. His hand reached out and held mine over his right cheek. "Thank you!" he whispered as the unsaid understanding settled between us.


    Eshan did not rush, though. He took his own sweet time as his hands reached to the hem of my top. With his fingertips slowly caressing the skin, like a dragonfly skimming over the water, he lifted the shirt. Co-operating with him, I let him pull it from over my head, leaving me in my cotton pink non-padded and non-wire bra. It was quite comfortable to wear as no tight straps were digging in my skin or a clasp pricking my back.


    I really liked the brand. The cotton fabric gave a comfortable feeling after wearing it. I realized that there was something wrong when Eshan started chuckling and his gaze lingered on my chest.


    (> _ _ _ _ <)


    "What''s funny?" I asked, crossing my arms across my chest. Did he have to laugh at the time like this, when he was the one to look at me like I was his favorite chocolate which he could not wait to unwrap? Now after unwrapping the half of the cover, he was laughing as if he wanted a KitKat and got plain Cadbury.


    Ah!!! What the hell was I thinking? Cadbury? Kitkat? Seriously? Could I not get any other comparison?


    "My kitten seems to love kittens," Eshan said, as his eyes held amus.e.m.e.nt.


    "Huh? Kitten? Move away. I don''t want to talk to you." I started pushing at his chest, forgetting that once my hands moved away, there was the object of Eshan''s amus.e.m.e.nt, which had him chuckling. Though I did not understand what it was.


    ''Stupid man. Unpredictable fool. Huh!''


    "Why are you so adorable?" Eshan leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on my lips despite me being busy with pushing him away to which he did not budge a little.


    Eshan then slowly climbed over my body, trapping me with his whole body. His knees dug in the mattress on my both sides as he straddled my waist. His movement made our lower halves brush, and I instantly turned red with the firm poking I felt against my bare stomach. All my thoughts about pushing him off and getting mad at his chuckles died down at that instant, leaving me in a state of shock.


    That''s human nature when we experience something surprising or new for the first time, our body''s first reaction is to be still, guarding against the unknown.


    "Afraid?" Eshan asked. His hand moved and caressed my lower jaw with his thumb, applying a little pressure to my chin and forcing me to look in his eyes. My eyelashes fluttered, and I did not know where to look.


    ***


    |Eshan|


    Innaya looked so adorable and beautiful that I could not draw away my gaze from her. Like a moth drawn to the fire, my whole body was getting pulled to her. That intense burning was making me uncomfortable with a longing to quench my thirst with those deliciously inviting red lips.


    The natural color they gained after our extensive battle of affection was too pleasing to eyes that I wanted it to stay that way for a lifetime. All I was looking for was a reason to kiss her, though.


    When I had passed Innaya her inner wears, I missed noticing what I chose for her. So, when I saw the two adorable pink kittens designed on the bra on her bosom, I ended up chuckling.


    Innaya turned miffed, not understanding what I was finding funny. She might have thought that I was laughing at her chest. Her expressions said it all. Only I knew the reason. I should have stopped myself because she might feel insecure as this being our first time getting intimate to this level. I did not want insecurities to muddle her head anymore. I would not allow that¡­ not anymore.


    So, holding onto her slender hands, trying to push me away, I held them with one palm. Throwing my leg on her other side, I climbed on top of her.


    Her black hair sprawled on a white pillow gave her a seductive look, and I just could not help but reach and thread my fingers in them. I felt my entire being shuddering when we made our first intimate contact or rather when I let Innaya know about my reaction to her.


    Her long eyelashes fluttered, and Innaya froze under me.


    "Afraid?" I asked with a wildly thumping heart. If she nodded, I would stop everything. Scaring her with our intimacy was not a motive. On the outside, I might look confident and in control, but from inside, I was fidgeting as hell.


    I caressed her cheek to regain control over my raging emotions and to calm her down.


    To my utmost surprise, Innaya shook her head.


    "Just a little¡­ surprised," she said, looking directly in my eyes.


    And, that was the moment I fell in love with my wife all over again. It had nothing to do with how accepting she was to our intimacy, but with the way she was trusting me, and our marriage.


    The girl who had been part of a broken family, bore the brunt of an abusive and mad father was trying to move on. Though, her past held her back. Many times, her past hindered our present, yet my sweet darling was trying her very best to overcome her fears.


    One month ago, she was still hesitant. And, after a month, going through so much of s***, so much suffering¡­ She was willing to cross the river with me, taking a blind leap of faith when we had mountain of things to clarify.


    How could I hold myself back after having such a wonderful person as my soulmate?


    Bending down I captured her lips in a kiss, conveying how much she meant to me.

 Chapter 261 - You Can Bite Me Too.

    WARNING: MATURE CONTENT AHEAD: READERS ARE WARNED TO PROCEED WITH CAUTION:: KEEP A REMOTE OF AC AND GLASS OF COLD WATER BY YOUR SIDE (:-D):: JUST DON''T KEEP ROTTEN TOMATOES AND EGGS TO THROW AT THIS AUTHOR IF THIS CHAPTER DOES NOT MEET YOUR EXPECTATIONS. ( Author is running away¡­ lol)


    ***


    |Innaya|


    Eshan seemed little... No, more than a little moved when I expressed what I truly felt. With him, I could be anything but afraid. Since the first time I saw him in my bedroom to this moment of being intimately close in our bedroom, we have journeyed a long way. It might sound that seven months was not that long of a time frame, but I knew better.


    From being cautious and afraid of even brushing fingers to lying barely covered, I have come quite a long way. From being a little nervous newly-wed bride to the woman of the man, I have learned to love. So, I did not fear anything with him around.


    Looping my arms around his neck, I welcomed his kiss.


    Drowning in bliss, I followed Eshan''s lead and gave my everything in. His hands wandered around, sometimes caressing, sometimes pressing and sometimes teasing. He did not seem to be willing to part from my mouth as his ragged breathing fanned my face. Our noses pressed in each other''s skin, and tongues got tangled.


    "Mhmm..."


    The sound of my m.o.a.ning with a strange satisfaction left me amazed and a little bashful.


    Eshan pulled away from his lips and pressed his forehead against mine, breathing heavily as if that one kiss exhausted him, but that smile hanging on his lips said otherwise.


    He looked ecstatic for some reason.


    "I love you, " Eshan confessed after straightening up.


    I smiled in the response, slightly blushing. His mischievous hands had already left me tingling as they moved across my bare skin.


    "Ah! Why are you so beautiful!" Eshan sighed dramatically and caused me to blush more with shyness. The poking against my stomach was not helping either. Though I said, I was not afraid, there was that lingering feeling of nervousness.


    "I should take off my shirt. I''m feeling quite stuffed here," Eshan said, winking at me as his gaze followed down my face. For a while, his gaze lingered on my bosom. "You like kittens?" he asked abruptly. "We can get one for you."


    I narrowed my eyes, finding his question a little unexpected. "What is it with you and kittens? Why did I not know about your strange obsession with cats?"


    "I love only one kitten," Eshan smirked and leaned down to kiss my shoulder.


    "Aah¡­" I gasped surprised when his sharp teeth nibbled on my skin.


    "You- what are you biting for?" I shoved his shoulders, and he straightened up, grinning widely.


    "You can bite me too. Who stopped you? Weren''t you biting on my thumb? You even licked it like a kitten," Eshan retorted, putting his palm before my mouth. "Go on, bite till your heart''s content. I won''t say a word of protest." He almost pushed his palm in my mouth.


    ''Huh? You dared to bring that up. Let me see how strong you are. Hmph! I was sleeping. Were you sleeping as well? You could have stopped me. It was clear that you were enjoying it, and still want to tease me. Hmph! Hmph!'' My cheeks puffed at the indignation I felt. Narrowing my eyes, I decided to teach him a small lesson. Did he not bite me now? I would just do that.


    I held his palm with my hand. Opening my mouth, I just took the side of his palm between my teeth. However, in the end, I could not bring myself to bite him. I was hopeless when it came to him.


    "What? Can''t hurt me. Aww, so adorable, Kitten." Eshan patted my head. I took out his palm and swatted at it.


    "Stop babying me. Alright?" I glared at him. "And, stop calling me Kitten."


    "Do you know why I am calling you a Kitten?" Eshan asked as he looked indifferent to my glaring.


    "Say it."


    Eshan instead of answering looked down at my chest. His both hands reached forward and his thumbs brushed across the sides of my b.r.e.a.s.ts. My eyes opened wide, and I forgot to breathe with his feather-like touch.


    "This kitten design on your bra is quite pleasing to the eyes." Eshan chuckled heartily, and the sound of his chuckles made me blush at the knowledge of his fingers that were treacherously moving around.


    "Okay. Let me get rid of my shirt before we can take care of this," Eshan said as he held the hem on my bra with his fingers. They retreated but not before teasingly sneaking inside from the end, and left quickly.


    (O _ O)


    (> _ _ _ <)


    He sat up. Slowly, he pulled his blue T-shirt over his head. He took his own sweet time. His beautiful upper half was getting exposed- bit by bit. I could only watch entranced with the way his fair skin gleamed in a yellow night lamp.


    "Ayesha did everything in her one-sided love, " Eshan said out of the blue.


    At first, I did not get what he said as my attention was on the seductive man and his seductive actions.


    "Sahil helped her, unknowingly."


    It was until I sensed the tinge of anger in his voice that I paid attention to what he was saying. "What did you say?"


    Eshan took hold of my hands as he bent down, and pressed them on his bare chest. His warm skin was slightly perspired. I wanted to know what he said, but his actions were making it difficult to concentrate on anything apart from him.


    "Sahil and Ayesha were in a relationship before our marriage, and Ayesha broke up with him saying that she could not forget me," Eshan said apathetically. "She and her mother did everything intending to ruin our marriage."


    My eyes snapped, breaking through the haze of intimate moments.


    "Huh? What? But Ayesha clearly was shocked when she saw me. Was she faking it?" I frowned, recalling Ayesha''s reaction when she arrived. However, after that, her hidden jabs, sarcasm, and intentional attempts of getting close to Eshan flashed in my mind, and I promptly closed my mouth.


    ***

 Chapter 262 - You Don’t Like Cadbury!

    WARNING: MATURE CONTENT AHEAD: READERS ARE WARNED TO PROCEED WITH CAUTION:: KEEP A REMOTE OF AC AND GLASS OF COLD WATER BY YOUR SIDE (:-D):: JUST DON''T KEEP ROTTEN TOMATOES AND EGGS TO THROW AT THIS AUTHOR IF THIS CHAPTER DOES NOT MEET YOUR EXPECTATIONS. (Author is running away¡­ lol)


    ***


    |Eshan|


    Realization dawned on Innaya''s face, and she swallowed her words. I could not explain everything to Innaya because of Arjun, and those videos. But, I could certainly provide her with enough information to satiate her worries and questions.


    Her cool palms helped me to not get angry. I leaned down and kissed her shoulder by removing the strap from her shoulder blade. Innaya trembled underneath me.


    "She was faking it. She knew about our marriage from very long, perhaps she had her ways of knowing about my every detail," I said, lightly pressing her waist.


    "W-why was she keeping an eye on you? If she was that desperate to get married to you, why go through all the troubles of watching you get married?" Innaya asked, "She could have confessed to you long ago."


    Breathing in a faint smell of her, I skimmed my nose across her shoulder blade going to the column of her throat. "I don''t know. All I know is that she and her mother- both are lunatics."


    Grasping her right hand I brought it to my lips. "Darling, I know you''ve been under constant pressure for the past one month," I said, kissing her fingertips.


    Innaya met my gaze and numerous questions were swirling in those deep eyes. Her sufferings of past one month, her torment flashed on her face and her eyes reddened, filling with tears.


    "Why? Why she wanted to ruin my character, my life?" Her lips wobbled, and it looked like she would start crying soon. Her question was valid, but I could not answer that for her.


    Sometimes, being kept in the dark was better than getting exposed to the truth that would ruin everything.


    "Because they were jealous of our love," I answered, telling her half-truth. In this way, I would not be lying to her completely.


    "This is not funny, Eshan."


    "I know, Sweetheart." I sighed. Until I clarified some truths, she was not going to believe me. "Sahil''s birth mother left Sahil and his father for being with someone richer. He missed onto that motherly love while growing up, and his hatred for the gold-diggers steamed from childhood. His grandparents would always complain before him about how opportunist his mother was. So, he grew up hating her. In college, his first girlfriend broke up with him and ran away after robbing him. So, he has trust issues. He thinks women are not trustworthy. So, this weakness of his was used by Ayesha. She made him believe that you¡­ you were after my money."


    "Only the women who have lower financial status than him," Innaya said as her eyes glazed up and a couple of tears fell down. "He hates women who have lower financial status than him."


    I raised myself and kissed her eyelids one by one. Using my thumb, I wiped away the tear that rolled down her cheek and caressed her face. She was absolutely right about it. Sahil''s grandparents had made sure of that as they relentlessly fed false misgivings about women of the lower class in the child''s mind.


    "That was why he put those accusations on me when you went missing," Innaya whispered to herself. The color drained from her face as she paled visibly as if she remembered something unpleasant.


    "What accusations? When did it happen?" Cupping her face, I raised myself to look at her. Knowing Sahil, he would not harm Innaya physically, but his vicious tongue could not be trusted. And, the way Innaya trembled below me, I knew he had done something terribly wrong.


    "Innaya, tell me what happened? Did he hurt you?" I anxiously asked her, but she remained mum, refusing to answer me.


    "Nothing. You tell me, why Ayesha wanted to prove that I was having an affair? If she wanted to ruin our marriage, her main target should have been you. Why would they choose Aunty?" Innaya avoided the topic.


    Restraining my anger, I watched her quietly. I wanted to probe and get answers from her, but when I realized that I was not providing her any, I kept quiet.


    The blanket of intimacy I was trying to put over her was withering with the flame of curiosity. I could not let that happen, because once it wore off, her clear-headedness would only result in her persistence to know the answers.


    Folding my lips, I decided to let the matter of Sahil temporarily slide. Arjun would have those answers for me because it was he who was looking after her.


    Innaya licked her dry lips while waiting for me to answer her questions. That small action caused my eyes to flash with delight. I now knew how to distract her and answer what I wanted to.


    "Darling, my vest is feeling lonely down there. How about we let this-" I tapped on her bra, "accompany it?"


    Innaya followed my gaze to the black vest lying on the sofa. "Stop diverting the topic, alright?" Innaya crossed her arms on her chest, but her face turned red when I mentioned removing the cloth covering her bosom. She did not deny out-rightly.


    I smiled playfully. "I''ll answer your question if you let me take it off."


    Innaya looked at me with narrowed eyes as if she would start beating me next second. "Ah! When did you become so shameless?"


    "Shameless you say, hmm. Let me show you my shamelessness then," I said as my hand slowly crawled under her bra going for her¡­


    Startled, Innaya, held my palm with her hand. The situation was quite comical with the funny face she made.


    "No. I-I¡­ You don''t like Cadbury," she said, trying to get my hand out of her bra.


    "Cadbury?" I tilted my head to the side, pondering the meaning behind her words. "Ah! I see. Darling, aren''t you making a wrong comparison here. What Cadbury? You should say-"


    Innaya reached out and placed her palm on my lips, blushing she shook her head.


    Taking in the face of my beautiful wife, I could not resist the urge of teasing her further. Opening my mouth, I took her fingertips inside and sucked on them. At the same time, my hand went ahead and cupped her br***t.


    "You should never doubt yourself, Sweetheart. I love the way you are, and for me, you''re perfect the way you are," I said, palming the soft flesh under my palm.

 Chapter 263 - I Haven’t Even Started, and You’ve Turned into a Tomato.

    WARNING: MATURE CONTENT AHEAD: READERS ARE WARNED TO PROCEED WITH CAUTION::


    ***


    |Innaya|


    Knowing Sahil''s past, I could somehow understand him. Being the person who went through something terrible at childhood, I knew how it changes life. The people around us determine the course of our thinking as a child. It leaves a huge impact. But my sympathy stopped there. After growing up, he could have determined what was right and what was wrong.


    That night when he came barging and demanding an explanation was clearly etched in my memory. He had reminded me of my father then. For that, I could never forgive him. And, according to Eshan''s words, there was more to it. Sahil''s involvement in our life was more profound than I could have ever thought.


    Then there was Ayesha and her mother. I wanted answers, but my husband did not look like he would answer them.


    And, instead of answering, he shamelessly asked for removing my bra. ''Shameless! Why did I not know about this trait of you? ''


    My face turned scarlet once I mentioned Cadbury. Ah! Why did I have to open my mouth?


    That husband of mine, how would he let go of chance teasing me? I blocked his mouth with my hand. I could not bear to hear his teasing. Who knew that my action would give free access to him.


    My hand froze on his lips when he pressed his hand on my bare br***t. He then sucked and freed my fingers and confessed how perfect he found me.


    "Darling, don''t you ever doubt yourself." Eshan approached me, his hand applying gentle pressure, and his lips caressed inside of my palm as he spoke. His other palm also sneaked in and imitated the action of his left palm.


    Eshan was like a curious child as his hands explored something new. He pressed. He explored. He squeezed, He massaged. And, he did everything he could while maintaining eye contact with me, but I had lost the focus as this was the intimate touch I had never felt before.


    Blinking, I took time to get adjusted with the strange flutters and tingles shooting in my body.


    Eshan smiled as if he understood what I was feeling, and his actions turned more teasing and insistent. When both the thumbs brushed across my ni***es, a wave of current ran through my spine. Something clenched in the pit of my stomach.


    The hand pressing against Eshan''s mouth almost dropped by my sides before I managed to hold onto Eshan''s shoulder. My fingers dug into his flesh as Eshan held one between his index finger and thumb, pressing and rolling it down as if it was a much smaller paperweight he wanted to play with.


    "Ah!" I m.o.a.ned when the strange feeling in the pit of my stomach got stronger with Eshan playing around. It looked as if he got familiar, and he knew how to walk the path, in fact, he was quite skillfully maneuvering himself.


    "Eshaan¡­" I closed my eyes. My back arching and I did not know it was from the tingles shooting or the craving of something more from him.


    "Yes, Sweetheart. I''m here," Eshan huskily replied, assuring me. His hands moved and removed the piece of clothing that was covering my chest, leaving me with nothing to veil it. He fulfilled his words as my bra went flying near his vest.


    He gave me a comforting smile. "Tell me if you are uncomfortable," Eshan said, caressing my cheek softly.


    The kind of fire that we start on a cold night started burning up within me. It was slowly spreading, warming my body. The sensation of his fingers on my br***ts caused me to inhale sharply.


    I did not hear him at first with all the sensations and actions going around. It was not until Eshan leaned in and stole a kiss that I shyly lowered my gaze, feeling conscious about my half-nudity. It did not last long, though, because Eshan did not let me dwell more into uncertainties.


    His lips left mine before they trailed downwards, kissing my chin and moving further southwards. Eshan''s palm continued to play with my left b****t.


    "They knew that I would not believe their bullshit. Maybe, that''s why they choose Mom. I''m sorry for her behavior for both the days."


    ''Can you stop playing around? I can''t concentrate on your words.''


    My hands around his neck tightened the grip when Eshan, after saying his piece decided to consider a certain pink nub as his lollipop.


    "Ahh¡­" I bit my lips not to embarrass myself.


    ''This man¡­ why is he torturing me this way.'' My back arched on the bed and Eshan looped his hand behind my head, his fingers tickling my ear.


    With a popping sound, Eshan released the lollipop he enjoyed sucking and licking. He then went ahead and licked his lips as if it was a sweetness he was not able to get over with.


    ''You bully.'' My face turned scarlet, and I could feel my cheeks heating up.


    "Don''t take Mom''s words to your heart. They were all part of the plan to save you from Ayesha and her mother. She loves you. In fact, the whole family loves you." Eshan nipped at my chin.


    I heard his explanation. I understood it, but my reaction came a little late. Eshan''s wandering hands were working me up, and concentrating on anything with him hovering over me¡­ was next to impossible.


    "Can you stop teasing me?" My eyelashes fluttered.


    Eshan caressed my forearms, smiling gleefully. "Am I teasing you?"


    ''Ah! Damn you Eshan! Why are you playing around? It''s clear that you are teasing me.'' My arms around his neck started feeling powerless, and they almost slid from his neck. Eshan reacted quickly and held them.


    Intertwining his fingers with mine, he placed them on both sides of my head.


    "I haven''t even started, and you''ve turned into a tomato." Eshan moved his lips from my chin¡­ upwards¡­ going to my cheek and then to my ear. He blew air in my ear, and I shuddered from head to toe. "What would you do if ...."


    I closed my eyes, and my hold tightened on the fingers holding mine captive. The words Eshan was whispering in my ears were making me melt into a puddle of the shame.


    ***


    The updates will be irregular this week :-(

 Chapter 264 - Cold Shower

    |Innaya|


    "Say something.". Eshan nipped at my tender earlobe, pressing his strong body on mine.


    ''How can I say something when... You... You- Ah! I can not even form a proper sentence with your seductive ministration.'' Feeling ticklish, I moved my head.


    "Is there nothing you want to ask?" Eshan said, skimming his nose across the side of my face.


    He changed from teasing my skin to kissing my lips. He would peck my lips and back away. He repeated it until I opened my eyes and looked at him in the eyes.


    "I''m giving you a chance to ask. After this night, we won''t bring this topic up... ever, unless you want us to dwell in the past, missing out on our present. That would only lead to victory for those people. Do you understand?" He said, holding my gaze.


    I could stare in those brown orbs till the eternity without blinking... Well, ok that was not humanly possible. But the lovesick girl in me though trembled under that intense stare, she wanted to continue holding his gaze.


    "Oh, my sweet little wife. Am I that handsome?" Eshan chuckled, and the light from the table lamp reflected in his eyes, making them appear brighter, bold, and alluring.


    "Any questions?" He prompted again, raising his perfect eyebrows.


    I shook my head, snapping out of the my-husband-is-the-handsome-hunk-I-can''t-take-my-eyes-away-from haze.


    I almost whacked my head for behaving like a teenage fan-girl. Could I have some shame left?


    Eshan smiled again, and the composure I had worked on snapped again.


    ''Ah! God, this can''t be happening. '' I closed my eyes. ''Out of sight, out of mind... ''


    ''Damn! Whoever said this is an utter stupid.'' When one sense of sight closed, Eshan worked his magic and raided havoc over my four senses with his overbearing kisses and teasing.


    "I assume that you don''t have any questions to ask. Good. Let''s bury this topic here. We''ll continue our business," he whispered in my ear, his right hand going to my chest, dancing across my skin with an unhindered wildness. A tinge of gentleness still remained, and his fingertips maneuvered skillfully as if he was playing a symphony of passion, considering my body as his playing instrument.


    ***


    Morning came too soon. We had fallen asleep quite late, perhaps around 3 or 4 o''clock in the early hours of the approaching daylight. But, my body clock had to act up and forced me to open my eyes at just half an hour past five.


    Seriously?


    What would have gone wrong if I had slept in for longer? I grumbled but woke up nonetheless. The blush came invited once I realized the shirtless man sleeping beside me had decided to hug me to his bare chest. I turned my head slightly with a careful movement to not disturb his sleep. Just like me, I knew he also did not have a good sleep in the past month.


    The lights in the study used to remain on in the late hours of the night. I had caught him sneaking into the kitchen and preparing tea on several occasions and sitting mindlessly in the living room without touching the cup. He too had been restless.


    He slept like a baby, with his mouth slightly opened and a little drool at the corner of his mouth. If only he had put his thumb inside his mouth, then he could rival any baby with the cuteness. I resisted the urge to pinch his cheeks.


    Last night''s conversation amidst his seduction made me realize that Eshan did not want me to think much about it. Had he not played around and directly gone for revealing everything, I might have asked him questions swirling inside my head like a bottomless tornado. However, knowing he did not want to talk about it, I would just have to make a do with it.


    Anyways, grandpa always said that the present is important, not the past. So, with this new morning, I decided to give a fresh start to our relationship, throwing the past one month out of my mind.


    I smiled, wiping the drool from the corner of Eshan''s lips. Recalling last night''s kisses, I could not help but move my fingertips across those sinfully alluring lips that stole my breath for quite a several times.


    If I looked in the mirror now, I was sure to find myself foolishly smiling and blushing at the same time.


    The smile froze on my lips when abruptly the sleeping man opened his dark eyes and the hand that was resting on my waist, sneaked inside the T-shirt of his he had made me wear last night. So underneath his white T-shirt that was quite loose and comfortable, I wore nothing but my cotton panty. My poor bra was thrown aside by him last night, and he refused to bring it back.


    "Good morning, Kitten," Eshan greeted lazily. His voice turned deeper, reaching to my ears it sounded like a soothing melody. He nuzzled my hair.


    "M-morning," I replied, cursing myself for stuttering.


    "I''ll get up. You sleep for a while. It''s still early.?? I tried to move out of his hold. The more I stayed closer to him, the more my mind was going blank.


    "I''m cold. Help me warm up a little, alright. Yesterday''s two cold showers were quite tortuous," Eshan said as he turned on his side, and hugged me tightly.


    At the mention of cold showers, I averted my gaze. How could I forget how my ankle had protested in pain when because of his teasing, my body had reacted strongly and moved without any preamble. Then my always caring husband was back, and after apologizing for being inconsiderate, he had made me wear his T-shirt and had gone to the bathroom... for cold shower.


    "Where do you want us to go?" Eshan asked, snuggling to me. I blinked, coming out of the last night''s memory.


    Huh? How did we jump from a cold shower to where I want to go?


    "Don''t frown." Eshan rubbed the circle in the middle of my eyebrows, easing the frowning lines I didn''t even realize I was having.


    "I''m asking where we should go for our honeymoon."


    Honeymoon! Ah! This man! He was certainly going to be my death one day!


    "Let me go to the washroom first," I said, pushing at his chest. He was making me blush first thing in the morning.


    "Wait! I''ll help you." Eshan held my hands before he sat upon the bed, sheets rolled down, revealing his bare upper torso. I licked my dry lips, looking at those broad shoulders and the finely shaped back.


    I accepted his help without any protest, for I knew that he would not have it otherwise. The stubborn man would tease me to no end if I stayed with him, and there were my in-laws too. I just could not laze around without doing anything.


    "Okay." I nodded.

 Chapter 265 - Red String Of Fate

    TWO MONTHS LATER


    ***


    |Innaya|


    Sometimes I wonder how my life would have turned out had I not met Eshan. A small voice always keeps telling me that we were destined to meet. There was something strong, an unexplainable force that always pulled me towards him, and I could not find words to pinpoint what exactly it was.


    Perhaps, it was that red string of fate people believed in. Both of us were tied with that invisible thread, and although, it would get tangled sometimes¡­ We handled the knots in our relationship carefully, not letting it get broken.


    Two months had gone by in a jiffy with us burying that horrid mother-daughter, and their unspeakable deeds behind. Many good things happened in these two months. First and foremost, my ankle recovered well, and Eshan lost his excuse of carrying me around, though he sometimes acted sneakily and picked me up nonetheless.


    Then my in-laws turned out to be so understanding and loving that I never felt like a stranger around them anymore. In the beginning, it was hard to be around Eshan''s mother, but then she took the initiative to clear up her intentions and her feelings regarding me. They dropped everything back at home to stay with us.


    I slowly warmed up to them, and here we were, after two months, close as one family. It took one month for me to start calling my mother-in-law as a mum. It was hard to forget her scornful words, but once I realized that she did all to protect me, they faded away. Moreover, I saw her sincerity and noticed that she was not faking it. So, why hold grudges? She was a great human being, and I realized it after spending time with her. How could parents of a person like Eshan be bad? It was utterly impossible with how amazing their son was.


    I stirred the daal once before turning off the flame. My eyes wandered to the man whose one smile, stirred butterflies within the pit of my stomach. With his head thrown back, he laughed over something Granny said to him. The sudden fuzzy feeling cocooned me, seeing how warmly he treated my family.


    Yes, Mom and Granny had returned from their trip yesterday. The first thing we did was to receive them together from the airport and bring them to the new villa that was just around walking distance from ours. Now, my family was closer to me than ever, and I knew I would not repeat the mistake of allowing secrets between us.


    From the corner of my eyes, I saw Eshan excusing himself and making his way towards me.


    What could he possibly want now?


    In the span of one and half hours, I was in the kitchen, preparing our lunch, Eshan made almost half a dozen trips, sometimes in the pretext of water, some times asking if I needed a hand or simply, for searching his mobile, which was put on the charger in our bedroom.


    I held back the smile and turned to him with a stern glare. "What''s a new excuse, husband?"


    "Umm... Nothing? I am going to set the table if you are done." Picking up plates, he hurriedly padded out of the kitchen.


    "Alright, go ahead." I turned back but gasped in surprise as the warm lips pressed an unexpected feather-light kiss on my cheek.


    Eshan.


    He left winking cheekily, and this time I didn''t hold back the smile as well as the blush rising on my face.


    *


    Sameer, Barun, and Ayush dropped everything and accompanied us for lunch. The lunch was a very happy and joyous affair with our friends and family.


    Mum, mom, dad, and Granny left to their rooms after our lunch. All of us youngsters sat comfortably in the living room.


    Sahil had come once to apologize. He had actually fallen on his knees to beg for my forgiveness, and Eshan had chased him away. I tried to stop him because I did not want Eshan to lose his friends.


    I learned later that Siya had left the country as her company sent her to their branch in Canada. So there were three people amongst our friends who were missing from today''s lunch.


    The third missing person was Arjun. And, I missed him terribly. After that day, I never saw him again. It broke my heart, every time I recalled how foolishly I had hurt him with my words. I had wanted to apologize, but there were no signs of him. I could only sulk, and curse myself. There would be a day when he would return. I knew it deep down.


    "What are you thinking, sweetheart?" Eshan whispered softly in my ears as he casually sat beside me and out of habit his hand came around my shoulder pulling me closer.


    "Stop it, Eshan," I glared at him moving away from his arms.


    "You stop it, sweetheart. I know you are angry but at least listen to me."


    Why should I listen to him after knowing he had shifted Amma to Ayush''s home? Only this morning I discovered that Amma never left for pilgrims. Though I was not that angry at him, in fact, I was not angry at all. I understood his reason but who said I couldn''t have fun at his expense?


    "I was also not aware of it, Innaya. I am getting to know about everything just now along with you."


    I maintained the impassive face and didn''t reply. I inwardly grinned and sneakily stole a quick glance with Ayush.


    They all actually knew I was faking it but who would have thought that my husband was so thick-headed.


    "Why are you being mute now? Explain to her right at this instant, or I''ll smash you up!" Eshan growled lowly at Ayush.


    "What is there to explain?" Ayush simply shrugged his shoulder uncaringly.


    Sameer further added, "It was your plan all along to spend some quality time with her and¡ª"


    "You promised that we would get our niece or nephew sooner that way. So when are you going to give us good news?" Ayush interrupted and sulked like a child. However, he grinned suddenly, his eyes too shone brightly as he cheered, "Yup! We want good news! We want good news! We want good news! We want good news! We want good news!"


    ''God! What an embarrassment! What is with our kids every time?'' My face flushed rapidly, and all thanks to shameless Ayush. I almost ran out of the room, afraid of what would fall on my innocent ears.


    "Argh... What kind of monsters I have in the disguise of friends. God, why me?" Eshan complained. I could feel his eyes on my back, moments later, he called out, "Innaya?" As if, I would stop for more comments. I bet he was still hung on the lie that I was angry and he didn''t even realize where the conversation was headed.


    "You moron. Do you think she will still stay and wait for us naming those who are yet to make their entry in this world?"


    I heard Barun putting sense in my husband''s head. Loud laughter erupted in the living room, which in turn caused me to fasten my pace.


    "Stupid," I muttered under my breath before rushing outside in the garden.


    ***


    "Why are you hiding here?"


    Startled, I whirled around but the abrupt motion resulted in me losing my footing. Automatically my hands flew outward in an attempt to stabilize myself and at the same time similar action from the person behind startling me happened. Before I could kiss the dirt, my husband pulled me safely into his arms.


    Sighing to myself, I glared at the man who appeared out of nowhere.


    Wasn''t he inside with his friends?


    ''As if, he would leave you alone.''


    "Sorry," he apologetically whispered.


    "So shall we start preparing?"


    "For what?" Confused, I racked my brain to understand the context he was referring to.


    "For fulfilling Ayush''s demand," Eshan whispered naughtily.


    "Shameless." I swatted his chest before running out of his arms.


    His loud laughter boomed around me before he took off behind me. We continued playfully chasing around as our laughter and giggles filled the air with happiness and love.


    ***


    THE END::: Towards their happily ever after...