《VESSEL》 1 Who? What? Where? When? And Why? What''s going on? Why can''t I see? Come to think of it, I can''t even feel my body. This feeling of emptiness is indescribably weird. It''s making me feel really itchy however I am unable to focus my concentration on the source of the itch. No wonder since I can''t even find my own body. Is this what a coma feels like? ... Only by forgetting the itchy feeling does it go away. That''s what I hope at least. ... It is impossible to forget THE ITCH in this land of NOTHING. Only by forgetting and ignoring can I forget. I know but I can''t. Why me? ... WHY IS THERE NOTHING BUT THIS ITCH. WHAT DID I DO WRONG? HAVEI SINNED AND THIS IS MY PUNISHMENT??? ... At times I feel like the space around has moved, almost as if it twisted. ... Welp, it seems like I''m dead. Just gonna do my thing in this empty space. Although I seem to still posses the memories of my former life. I can remember what the warm sun rays feel like. I can remember the sound of birds. I can remember the taste of a burger. But I can''t picture any humans. I know what they should look like with 2 legs, 2 arms, a @#%$#, and a head. Why can''tI picture anything to that description? My gut feeling tells me that I used to be a human but I''m just not certain. Should I trust my gut if I dont have a gut? Who''s gut is this? Was I ever even "alive"? Are these memories mine? ... Come to think of it I am unable to picture cats. What''s going on... I HATE CATS. IT HURTS SO BAD. ... Not just cats but mammals. ... Wow... I have an unbelievably huge amount of information in my brain but it''s all useless if I can''t apply it. Why can''t I just forget it? This useless info creates an empty void that messes with my mind. Knowing less would help me rest. My soul can''t handle this, it''s being torn apart piece by piece. Why is this continuing? In how many pieces can a soul be split? The soul becomes exponentially smaller with each split. Even the great evil wizard could only achieve 7 and he had to sacrifice his nose and hair. Am I an even greater evil wizard lord? ... Is this a rare form of amnesia? Did I just forget my 6 senses? ... Time has lost all meaning. The itch has evolved into a feeling of being devoured. Am I trapped and being consumed? What kind of a trap would be able to cause such a thing? A trap card? An illusion formation? One created by God himself? Now that''s just unbelievable. More like Satan created this just to torture me. I wish I could just eat him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate ...? Who do I hate? Why do I hate him? I hate myself? ... I''m still uncertain if I just can''t see or if everything is just one bland color that just appears to be nothing as my senses have adjusted to them. However everything is becoming fuzzy, almost disconnected and shattered. How can nothing feel shattered and incomplete? Is something changing? I can smell dangerous tables growing in the distance. ... I seem have started hearing things a while back. I decided to name him Jelly. ... Jelly seems to be growing louder. He''s starting to beat away at my soul. I would have long ripped off my ears if I had any. ... Jelly you''re the best. What a brilliant idea to stop THE ITCH with pain. This blindingly bright pain. It feels so relaxing and soothing. My soul feels fulfilled. ... Roses are red, Voilets are blue, MINE ARE ALL DEAD BECAUSE THEY WOULDN''T LISTEN TO MY ORDERS. ... WE ARE ONE, WE ARE STRONG, WE ARE UNITED, TOGETHER WE LIVE, TOGETHER WE DIE, ... but I dont want to die ... Do I want to die? huh.. Can I even die? Would I just end up back here if I did? Death would be too easy an answer. I wish I could meet Death. He seems pretty chill but smells really bad. How I do I do the do without the do? ... Everything is moving so fast, I''m being hit from every direction. I can SEE the @#$@%. It''s coming to save me. I AM ALIVE. I AM FREE. ... I''m not crazy. I promise Jelly, I would never hurt you no matter what happens. But will I in the future? I don''t know. I''ll kill them all. How could they. That was mine. But they took it. I will avenge you Jelly. I won''t let a single one go. Why should I care? ... Why is this happening? ... Why can''t I just die? ... What is pain? ... Why me? ... Who am I? 2 When will I cease to exist? Sanity is an unrealistic concept at this point. I hate to admit it, but only a small part of my consciousness is still sane. I hope I''m being corrupted by a foreign lifeform and may finally cease to exist once it has achieved it''s goal. The more my soul gets corrupted, the longer it takes as the shorter the period of time where I''m me is left. ... Slipping between reality and dreams, I have lost all reason. Can I even dream? Is this all a dream or are these dreams not dreams but reality? I don''tknow. I don''t want to know. I feel tired. Not physically but mentally. Like I can''t stay awake but I can''t sleep. I wish the pain would return, but i''ve forgotten the concept of pain itself. Why are my dreams so vivid but abstract? It almost as if I could touch it if I had a body. At times it pulses, at times it grows. It''s spreading but also dying. I can feel it''s sorrow. We''re trapped together. How I wish to be able to communicate with it. Would it be able to reply? I''ve at least been able to realise that I am able to view everything at the same time due to it. I have no blind spots. This seems to confirm my suspicions of not being human. I am either just a soul or maybe a floating sphere. I hope I''m something cool like the beholder. ... As time passes I''ve come to realize that time might not be consistant. At times everything just freezes but at others I can''t even process what is going on. It''s almost like traveling at lightspeed in a spaceship. The worst part is that I can''t ignore it. It is impossible to look away. At least I don''t have eyes because I did I''m sure there would''ve started burning. Now that think of it, eyes would be quite nice. Everything would disappear. They would be able to burn forever and compared to this it would end instantly. If I had eyes I would have a body. If I had a body I could kill myself. If I could kill myself, I would be free. I might even be reincarnated like those isekai characters and start a cool new life with awesome powers. I hope I don''t end up like Subaru, but it wouldn''t be that bad as I''m unaffected by pain. ... As my thoughts slow, I know I will soon DREAM once again. I wonder how many cycles are left till I disappear? Going round and round till everything changes. Please stop hurting me. I promise I won''t try to get revenge by hunting you to till the ends of the earth across time and space. I haven''t even had any thoughts of how I would try to keep you alive just to torture you longer or how I would make you eat yourself. See how genuine I am? Can you pretty please let me go? ... ... ... run he''s back, save yourself 3 Voice Where am I? Why do I have this deja vu feeling? I can''t see, I can''t feel. All my five senses are numbed. But I have this gut feeling, that tells me I''ve been in this situation before. However There seems to only be a feeling of hopelessness left. What could make me give up? "Jelly is good" seems to be the only thing I can remember. ... Where am I? ... "Jelly is good" seems to be the only thing I can remember. ... This inexplicit feeling of understanding everything, where did it come from? I can''t remember anything but it feels like a natural reaction to question everything. Is that what I truly think or are these someone else''s thoughts? Especially since it doesn''t seem like I have a total amnesia as I can still remember "Jelly is good". Jelly would then have to either be someone really important to me or someone who''s supposed to protect me. Since it''s the only thing I can remember, I''ll ignore the second possibility for now and assume that it is someone really important. Is Jelly a part of my direct family or a sworn brother? A lover or wife? Maybe even my child. The possibilities are endless and I desperately need more information about my current circumstances. I have this inexplainable feeling that as soon as I stop thinking and concentrating, I will disappear. I will prevent that at all costs. ... Seems like my attempts might just end up futile. I''ve been here so long that can''t think of anything else to think about. Just the aspect of I can''t think of anything anymore, has been covered at least thousands of times. By this time I have accepted my fate of disappearing as there is a slight chance to change my circumstances. I might end up in heaven, maybe even join the samsara cycle and be reborn stronger. However there would then also be a chance of being reborn as a puny lifeform lika an ant. Slaving away for a lifetime manipulated by the hive mind''s thought pattern. If that does happen, at least there would be a definite possibility of once again reincarnating once my ant lifespan ends. As reincarnation would prove the existence of souls, I hope my soul has become strong enough to bring my memories along. Or do I really want that? This period of time has been going on forever and my brain would probably directly explode if it was all injected at the same time. I also just want to live a normal life. I''ll make it my goal to stay inconspicuous as that''s the best proven way to guarantee survival. Peace out. ... ... Where am I? Why do I have this deja vu feeling? I can''t see, I can''t feel. All my five senses are numbed. But I have this gut feeling, that tells me I''ve been in this situation before. However There seems to only be a feeling of hopelessness left. What could make me give up? "Jelly is good" seems to be the only thing I can remember. ... No matter what I do, I get this feeling of familiarity. The same as the kind that would develop from a habit over a lifetime. Like waking up every day at 6 am sharp to go to work. It feels so natural and worries me immensely. Is it possible that I am stuck in someone else''s Groundhog Day? How many times has he messed up or did he already give up? To be honest if it was me, I would try to learn as much as I could and master different fighting styles. I would have to kill myself everyday but pain doesn''t seem to be a foreign concept to me. Now that I actually think about it, as long as that person has half a brain he would do that. It would create the best possible situation to train skills that need resources without wasting anything. And with enough practice, you would be able to do impossible stunts like jumping out of a plane without a parachute and surviving by doing a few perfect rolls. I wish I could get that kind of opportunity. On second thought, I don''t need that kind of opportunity, I just want my freedom. However without a body, the only thing that would change is the appearance of my surroundings. But if I get a body, I would gain the option of killing myself. I wouldn''t even need to kill myself as I would starve in here. But wouldn''t death be exactly what I need? If given the option, would I kill myself or wait for starvation? ... But then I heard it. An actual voice. In this god forsaken place. A voice that wouldn''t fit any kind of person. It sounded like a dying old man''s last wish but at the same time like a newborn''s first cry. It wasn''t a voice that could be produced by a lifeform. It contradicted itself with how murderous yet loving it sounded. Just hearing it made my soul start to collapse. >>Let''s have some fun<< 5 Contac Or at least I thought I did. It felt as if the world turned empty. My newfound body disappeared in a swarm of different feelings and then I remembered it. A melody of soul wrenching pain that has always been with me. Only now do I realize how much I missed it. I just let that feeling of peace sink in. Is it wrong to like something that is harmful? Does this classify as an addiction? The feeling of loving something that hurts is truly remarkable, but then I got yanked back to reality. The first thing I noticed was how everything appeared to be covered in a veil of darkness. A very natural yet disturbing color. My hearing seemed to be dulled however I could barely make out multiple pairs of footsteps. They seemed to grow increasingly louder with each passing moment. Other than that, I could only make out some muffled sounds. I could feel the breath of death go along my body, giving me a bone piercing chill. It caused me to shiver making me knock my head against the ground. Weirdly enough, it didn''t really hurt. In fact the ground was quite soft but sticky and cold. A feeling of weakness started to overcome me. I started feeling increasingly panicked and flailed around. No matter what, I wouldn''t allow myself to go back to that place. I needed to keep myself awake by any means necessary. I even tried to punch myself to induce adrenalin. That''s when I let out a tiny breath of air. I seemingly had forgotten to breath. Not only that, I didn''t even notice it until I almost lost consciousness. My body started back up on its own and started to spasmodically breathe in. I could even feel my empty body rising and dropping, inflating and deflating at a rapid speed. If I didn''t realize this problem before I fainted, even Satan would have laughed at me in the afterlife. Having overcome a near fatal crisis I also noticed quite a few other things. Only at this point did I realize that I hadn''t actually been looking around. It had been so long, that I had forgotten the need to manually open my eyes. Something that was supposed to be instinctive became a manual task. Opening my eyes felt painful. It stretched the thin layer of skin around my eyeballs that had been stuck shut. I had to repeatedly blink for quite a long time before I could even recognize anything. My blurry surroundings slowly regained clarity and I could finally partially figure out my situation. I seemed to be lying on my back in a very tall room. Although I couldn''t even see any walls in my peripheral vision, the area had to be indoors as I could faintly make out multiple glaring balls of light imbedded in the weird ceiling. I couldn''t bring myself to focus on the light, so I focused on the rest. It seemed to be a light-gray material covered in faintly glowing symbols that remind me of hieroglyphs. There were multiple rows of small symbols that seemed to represent either animals or objects. Each row was separated by a line and these rows ran parallel to each other from one end of my vision to the other. The only reason I could even notice them was because they reflected a blue glow due to the light from the spheres reflecting off them. As I tried to stand up, I felt like I had to tear myself off the ground. My clothes, which could barely be considered rags at this point, seemed to be fixed to the floor by a dark red substance that could only have been blood. But wasn''t this amount a little excessive? At this point I randomly thought of how it is also possible to breathe through my nose. And then I smelt something weird. I wasn''t quite sure if It was a good smell or not. I didn''t know what to make of it so I just ignored it. Trying to stand up was a weird experience. At first I turned my body so that I was laying my stomach and ripped up an area of moss whilst doing so. I then got on my knees, pushed my body up with my arms, and then tried to stand up just to fall head first into the slightly red mossy ground. My breath got knocked out of me due to the impact and I landed on something weird. I barely glanced at it before I fell, but it was a long darkish gray object covered in a dark red color similar to my clothes. At this point I was breathing extremely heavily, lying on the ground with my head turned towards the left and saw a few figures enter through an arched gateway. The golden gateway stood out in contrast to the gray walls that similarly glowed blue like how the roof did. I could make out 3 figures and that was about it. They probably noticed me around the same time I noticed them as the area I was lying on contrasted heavily to its surroundings. From above it would probably appear to be a red island in a sea of green. As they came closer, I was finally able to somewhat understand my situation. The young boy in the front was a tall, muscular warrior with short black hair, a body full of scars and wielded a monstrous weapon. You could almost feel his desire to battle and he seemed like a person who had seen all the dark aspects of life. The two girls behind him stood in stark contrast to him. They both wore robes, one of them a red one and the other a white one. They also wore pointy floppy hats that matched their robes and everything seemed to be laced with gold. It was almost as if they were trying to scream "WE''RE RICH AND IMPORTANT, ROB US IF YOU DARE!" which really irritated me. I mean yeah sure I was a little bit jealous of their cool looking equipment, but that was pretty much it. The kid carried a huge ass black sword that seemed to be twice his body size and the robed girls held tall intricate staffs. Similar to something that would only ever appear in an RPG video game. They finally reached a distance where I could clearly see them. The one furthest back had long silver hair and appeared quite nervous. The other robed girl stood directly in front of her and had short red spiky hair. At this point I was quite dumbfounded. The coincidences seemed ridiculous and I wasn''t sure if they dyed their hair based on their clothing or based their equipment on their hair. After what felt like an eternity, they finally reached a point around 10 meters away from me where they just stopped. Big sword boy started talking and seemed to be questioning me, but I couldn''t really concentrate on what he was talking about. What I did notice however was that one of my ears was sealed shut by a solid dark red mass that I had to scratch out. I then heard big sword boy say something along the lines of "Are you deaf? Hello? Can you hear me?" He spoke so fast I wasn''t even sure how I should respond which made me just stare at him. If I said no to his first question, he might just think that I''m trying to provoke him because he just asked if I could hear him. Deciding to answer yes I opened my mouth, but the only sound I managed to produce sounded like "yeughhh". For a moment there I panicked and thought about how annoying it would be to relearn talking, but then I realized my throat was just dry. Misunderstanding me, big sword boy promptly asked, "Are you mute?" Before I could even register his response and shake my head, he started to apologize for being inconsiderate. This kid was really hard to follow. Considering how it was the first human contact I''ve had since forever, I really couldn''t understand how a regular human thinks, but I''m pretty sure that he''s an anomaly. Although he did seem a little nicer and friendlier due to how flustered he appeared. "Sorry for being so inconsiderate, but don''t worry I have nothing against disabled people. Do you need help getting out of here?" asked the friendly big sword boy. This kid was messing with my thought process. Up until now I''ve only ever needed to talk to myself, but I always wanted a companion to talk to. Now I''m not so sure about that anymore. Find authorized novels in Webnovel£¬faster updates, better experience£¬Please click www.novelhall.com for visiting. All these new streams of information from new sources, like smell, are overloading my brain and giving me a massive headache. I couldn''t keep up so I just decided to ignore them and lie down. Next thing I knew, they have set up a camp around me. What is wrong with these people? 6 Potato Huh¡­ So they''re just going to ignore me? That works for me, I guess. So now what? What am I supposed to do? Try to figure out my current situation? That would probably be the smart thing to do and really easy to accomplish. All I''d need to do is pretend that I''m just lost and ask big sword boy. I''m sure he''d tell me everything I''d need to know and then some. But what''s the point of that? Do I really need to know? If I want to survive, information is key. On the other hand, what''s the point of survival? ¡­ Well at least I wouldn''t need to find out what happens after death, which could be considered a positive. I also wouldn''t be dead. Well what else could the point of living be? Find authorized novels in Webnovel£¬faster updates, better experience£¬Please click www.novelhall.com for visiting. ¡­ Where''s that buzzing noise coming from? Wait I''m distracting myself from the real issue. Although finding out if I want to survive is important, I can''t help but get this feeling that I''m forgetting something. Something really important, the reason I really wanted a body. It''s on the tip of my tongue. I think I wanted to go meet someone. ¡­ And then I smelled it, something mystical. I could feel the warmth spread across my body, like an angel''s touch. This smell could only mean one thing: P O T A T O. NEED POTATO. NEEED POTATO! I sense it nearby. Must be close. Can feel it in my blood. Towards the left. I shot up and saw it. A potato. By sheer force of will, I managed to avoid squashing it to pieces. Within seconds, I inhaled that potato. Awwww that taste, I could get used to it. I have found my purpose in life. I shall eat ALL THE POTATOES. Wait a second, what in devil''s carnation am I talking about? A potato is just a plain old vegetable, why do they seem so heavenly all of a sudden? They don''t even look that tasty with their dirt brown exterior. Why did ¡­. "Yo dude¡­ we''ve got enough food. Just try to calm down. You''re acting as if you haven''t eaten in ages." I finally noticed friendly boy standing there with a stick in his hand. Why is that stick pointed towards me? "If you''ve finally calmed down, you''re more than welcome to join us over by the fire. We''ve brought enough food to last us a few weeks so you really don''t need to panic. Ok?" I''m not sure why I reacted like that, I''m not even hungry to be honest, but potato. Seemingly taking my silence as a confirmation, massive sword boy guided me to the light. 7 Campfire \"Well first of all, we need to get you dressed and you also reek of death. For now you can just have this coat of mine.\" This \"coat\" that he mentioned turned out to be a full on white double-breasted overcoat. \"I can already feel you judging me; you didn''t except me to have such a fabulous coat did you? I''m just messing with you, I know it looks weird, but I received it as a gift.\" \"So over here, these are my ¡­ colleges. But seriously, just leave them alone unless you really want to die a really painful death.\" Suddenly the temperature started to drop at an insane rate. First came the frost, then came the cracks. Wow that''s cool I guess. Sword boy had this snarky grin on. \"Chill out, I''m just kidding. No need get violent.\" Then he slowly raised his right arm, held his thumb against his middle finger and then everything exploded. Or at least I thought it did. His snap caused the ground to tremor and somehow closed all the cracks. \"So where were we? Oh yeah, so these are my colleges, just don''t mess with them too much. \"Over here is our food pile, you''re welcome to help yourself. We''ve got buffalo beast jerky, a wide assortment of sandwiches, the finest trail mixes, and lots and lots of cookies. Just don''t touch the chocolate chip ones.\" Looking through their pile, only a single thing awaited me; disappointment. I felt really disappointed. Even after all that bragging, they didn''t have anything worth considering food. I kinda feel bad for eating their potato. If I''d known, I would''ve left them some,¡­ probably not. How did I end up in such a situation, no food¡­ \"Hey, why do you look so upset?\" Looking up I saw red-head coming over. Although she was smiling her smile creeped me out. It felt unnatural and almost forced. She approached me slowly, one step at a time and stopped every few steps. Almost as if she was anticipating something. That creepy smile never faded. What is awkward girl up to? Left foot, right foot, one after the other. Next thing I knew she was right in front of me. So there we were, just standing in pure silence staring at each other. I couldn''t help but notice how beautiful eyes are or to be more precise, how spectacular hers were. I could see the sun in its blazing glory. Such a nice, cozy feeling. \"You smell like a corpse!\" . . . . . . what? Alright sounds about right. And with that, she just turned around and left. 8 The Surga Inn "Cut him some slack, he looks like he''s been to hell and back. The last thing he needs is your condescending remark," said sword boy as he came strutting over. "So kid, just get some rest. Nobody can hurt you as long as I''m around," he snickered. "As long as you don''t wander off, I''ll be sure to bring you along when we leave this place." Thanks, I guess? In the end, I was able to pick out a nice patch of moss amongst all the other patches of moss. This patch was nice and squishy. So there I lay, hearing mutterings in the background, with my consciousness slowly drifting away. Before I got the chance to fear what might happen, I was already out cold. ¡­ I awoke to the sound of a snap and shortly after I heard a voice. "Hey, why''d you bring him along?" That sounded like red head. "I promised him I would help him get out." And that must''ve been sword boy. "This isn''t exactly a safer place, what the hell were you thinking?" I had trouble opening my eyes, but when I did, I saw a majestic landscape. As far as the eye could see, a crimson sky ruled. I lay upon a narrow path. Towards the left was a steep fall with jagged rocks ending in a glowing red abyss. And towards the right ¡­ well, I never got the chance to see what was towards the right, but I did feel the tremors coming from deep beneath. "Oh yeah, you''re right." *snap* "Better?" "Old Man Donald''s place? We haven''t been here in a really long time. Really brings back memories, doesn''t it? You finally grew a few brain cells," praised red head condescendingly. So there we stood, in front of a traditional looking tavern. Based on the large sign reading "Surga Inn", I was able to conclude that it was in actuality an inn. A very nice looking inn, if I do say so myself. The worn down wooden boards and heavy usage of cobblestone flooring did nothing except accentuate the traditional feeling of the inn. Even from outside, you could tell the inn was magnificently lit thanks to the sunlight shining through the multitude of windows. With doors wide open you could even feel the welcoming atmosphere from afar. "Old Man Donald is known for his generosity. As long as you''re willing to work for it, he''ll always offer you a place to stay. I''ll give you an introduction seeing as you might need it due to your disabilities." Leave it to good ol'' sword boy to be considerate. After that we went inside to look for Old Man Donald, and his appearance sure didn''t disappoint, with few none gray hairs left, a long, tangled beard, and a slight beer belly, he really did look like a friendly old man. After a bit of light back and forth banter between them, the topic eventually reached the point where sword boy introduced me and explained my situation. Although I wouldn''t exactly agree with everything that was said, it was at least all somewhat true. He looked at me with his rough face, but kind eyes. "You poor boy, over we only judge inner values. If you''re motivat''d enough to work, I''ll always give ya'' a place to stay." Although I wanted to object, I couldn''t exactly bring myself to reject such a kind old man''s offer, so I just nodded along. And that''s the story of how I was, albeit a bit willingly, forced into my job at the Surga Inn. Next came the partings. "Be nice to the old man, although he might work you till exhaustion, that''s only because he''s doing it to build character," explained sword boy. "Stay safe and don''t let the bedbugs bite," warned red head somewhat jokingly. "We met due to fate, and we shall definitely meet again if that''s what fate decides. Farewell." If it wasn''t for that final moment, I would''ve probably completely forgotten that 3rd party member. But that''s what happens when you don''t talk. And with that final remark sword boy snapped his fingers ¡­