《Little Wolf》


 1 Wolf’s out of the bag

    It became an awkward moment. I let go of my cousin''s shoulder and stepped back a bit. Running Elk obviously needed a moment to take it all in.


    "You ok?" I asked.


    Running Elk shook his head, taking half a step backward. It took a moment before words managed to spit their way out my cousin''s throat. "Ok? Damn, cuz, you always played up the wolf you were named after, but to actually be..."


    Running Elk paused, his eyes a little wide. I gave him a small smile, shrugging my shoulders a little. The times I''d daydreamed about showing someone what I was couldn''t compare to actually revealing it to my cousin. The nervous fear in his eyes had me worried.


    "I''m still me. You''ve known me your whole life. My being able to become a wolf doesn''t change who I am, who I''ve always been."


    My words seemed to reassure him.He snorted. "True, you''ve always been... wolffish."


    We shared a grin. So many times we played together in the woods as young children, with me pretending to be the wolf I truly was. Running Elk wagged a finger at me. "You never even hinted that you were a real frigging werewolf!"


    "Council said not to tell anyone," I said with another shrug.


    "Not even me? That hurts cuz. And your mom, man!" Running Elk let out a nervous, choked-down chuckle. "Not quite the spirit I was looking for tonight. And to think she named you Little Wolf! No wonder you liked story-time so much! Did you pose for the covers...oww, damn, cuz," he exclaimed, rubbing his arm and glaring at me.


    I felt bad for my instinctual jab, but mom''s books were a tender subject. Both my dad and Grandfather had tried to convince my mom not to print them, for different reasons. Myself, I defended anything to do with my mom, now more than ever. I sighed, looking down in a bit of shame. I knew better than to let my emotions get the upper hand.


    "Sorry, cuz."


    "Aw, it''s alright. The books are awesome, and your mom..."


    Another long silence. Running Elk took in the grief still in me, finally looking away. When he looked back, his eyes were filled with an appraising look that went on until I began to get uncomfortable. I moved back against the small rise behind us and sat down. It took a moment, but Running Elk finally joined me.


    "The other wolves?" my cuz finally asked.


    "Just regular wolves, ''cept dad," I replied.


    "You sure?"


    "Human wolves wouldn''t want to fight for den territory," I explained with a shrug. "It would be cool, though, finding someone else like me. Can''t picture someone who could be a man wanting to live out here as wolves though, raise their kids out here."


    "Your dad was the big black one? Stupid question, of course he was," Running Elk answered himself, giving a small disparaging snort. "Silly of me to ask if Uncle Black Wolf was the big black one."


    "Yeah," I replied with a grin. I couldn''t think of anyone that called my dad by his proper name. Everyone in the tribe called him Black Wolf.


    "He''s not a timber wolf," Running Elk said thoughtfully.


    No, dad wasn''t like the thinner, lithe, and usually grey wolves found in and around the Rocky Mountains. Dad''s wolf was stockier than the wolves found in America, completely black. My own wolf form was mostly black, with whites, creams and greys in my neck, paws, and underside.


    "European wolf, cuz," I told him, "straight out of the Black Forest."


    Another silence filled with unasked questions and a troubling look. I knew how analytical Running Elk was. He''d think things through until he had the shortest question that would give him the most valuable information first.


    "Any werewolves in the rest of the tribe?"


    "No," I pause, "except dad bit mom, way after they were married. She wanted him to. Council members are the only ones who know," I added.


    A grunt was all I got in response, followed by another long pause.


    "You''re wrong."


    Running Elks pronouncement startled me. Did he mean he knew of another werewolf, or that someone other than the Elders knew? Neither of my assumptions made sense.


    Running Elk and I had often played our own ''who done it'' game, similar to Twenty Questions. Playing this familiar game with my cousin, even in these bizarre circumstances, helped bring things back to a bit of normalcy.


    Yeah, werewolf with a ghost mom, normal.


    We''ll get to that eventually. Right now, I didn''t even want to deal with it, no matter how absolutely great it was having that last mangled image of her replaced by tonight''s ethereal vision.


    So, what was I wrong about? I grunted to indicate that he should enlighten me.


    "We didn''t dream, and your mom doesn''t qualify as an animal spirit guide," he told me with exasperation.


    Ah, my little joking quip from a moment ago. So, still no spirit guide for me. Nothing like disappointing Grandfather, again. Then I cheered up a bit. I wasn''t out here for my dream hunt.


    "You still have time," I told him.


    "Hmm."


    The silence was more comfortable this time, settling into the pauses that were natural for our word game. Still...


    "So, your mom."


    "Yeah," I sighed.


    How to describe what it meant to see her again, to feel her love? Maybe there was more to the supernatural world than just me and dad.


    "Wish I knew more, cuz."


    "Hmm."


    The silence drew out. Running Elk and I would break the world record for being talkative, I thought sardonically. We seldom needed words to communicate the important stuff, we were that close. Usually all we needed was a few looks and hand motions.


    "You taking that ranger job?"


    I grinned as he changed the topic. He was giving himself time to process what he had seen. Trust my cuz to shift the conversation to something more everyday, giving us both time to consider the supernatural aspect of this night.


    "Seems a good fit," I said with a shrug. He knew I had talked to grandfather about staying to work on the reservation versus taking a job in the real world.


    Running Elk let loose something between a snort and choked down laughter.


    "You''d be able to cover a lot of territory as a wolf. Hate to see the looks campers give you when you show up," he said, still chuckling.


    His glance at my manhood let me know he was talking about my undressed state after having shifted from wolf to human. Love you too, my ever practical cousin!


    "Been thinking of wearing a doggie back pack," I told him.


    "Hard to put that on as a wolf," he answered.


    Instead of answering, I started shifting. It''s natural, for me at least, to start with my feet when I''m doing a total shift. Concentration and practice, which my dad had insisted upon as he taught me, was essential for shifting just part of yourself. I focused on my shoulder, making me look for a moment like a misshapen creature right out of some horror movie, before going on to the hand.


    Mom had insisted on teaching me animal anatomy, which is very different than human anatomy. She''d been the best vet in the area. How often had she drilled me on this? I could hear her gentle voice explaining how joints on four legs work at different angles. So, shift shoulder, elbow...ehh... keep human wrist, get a combo of paw and fingers... I went back to full human.


    "Working on it," I told him.


    From the look on his face, I''d say Running Elk was trying not to throw up. Note to self: try not to look like something out of a horror flick in front of other people.


    "How''s it work?" he finally asked. "You aren''tstaying a wolf under the full moon."


    "Moon''s irrelevant for shifting. Moonlight however... well, wolves don''t see like people. Moonlight during a full moon is almost like daylight only better, makes things pretty. Mom loved the moonlight."


    Another silence. Just bringing up my mom made things awkward. And here I thought I hadn''t wanted to deal with it yet. Running Elk shifted his position a bit, and the silence got uncomfortable again.


    "Did she know what your dad was before she married him? Or did she find out he was a...a..."


    Poor Running Elk, couldn''t even get the word out this time.


    "Werewolf," I supplied, trying to suppress my grin. Running Elk was looking uncomfortable enough as it was.


    "She knew and loved him anyway," I told him. "Dad always said mom changed who he was and how he looked at life. Kind of a twist on the whole werewolf thing, hmm? Especially considering he changed her. "


    Another long pause. I lifted my head, trying to get an idea if dad was close. If he was still watching us, he was staying back.


    "Keeping the name Little Wolf?" my cousin asked.


    I had thought about changing my childhood name now that I was an adult. I had often felt like there was a special name waiting for me to discover and claim. It wasn''t that rare for someone to change their name as life happened. Key personality traits, major or even minor life events, some event that separated you from everyone else; many things influence who you are. Changing your name indicated a major change in who you were becoming as you went through life.


    I leaned back, a half-smile playing on my lips as I remembered the first argument I had with my dad about me wanting to be my own person, how I was tired of his strict rules and training. Mom had intervened, placing a gentle hand on both of us.


    "Our son is growing, and the man in him wants to come out just as the wolf does," she had said to dad. Then she turned to me. "You will always need guidance and advice, all through your life, no matter how old you get. You will always be my little wolf, and I will always be here for you."


    I knew she got it, that dad couldn''t keep treating me like I was still a kid. As I came into my manhood, I wanted to honor her. I liked the way she had described it, the man wanting to come out. She knew I couldn''t stay. I wanted her to know how much I appreciated her. I wanted her to know every time she spoke my name, she would know I was hers, that I would never be too old for my mom. It hurt to know she would never speak my name again.


    "Mom..." my voice choked.


    It was the only answer I could give to Running Elk''s question. It was enough. Running Elk knew the bond between my mom and I was practically tangible. She was the epitome of her name, River Woman. She had been like a deep running river, not some meandering creek. Smooth and gentle, serene; yet she had a deep current that could pull you out of any funk, any tantrum, anything, and make you go with her flow.


    And here she was. Kinda. Maybe she was my spirit guide, even if it wasn''t the way Grandfather meant. I felt better, relieved even, yet at the same time decidedly weirded out by the whole concept of ghost mom.


    A wolf howled in the distance- nothing urgent, just an ''I found something interesting''.


    I smiled. "Sounds like our new neighbors might have found a suitable den."


    I got up and stretched, prelude to a shift.


    "Think I''ll go take a look. They shouldn''t bother you now. They might still be a bit curious though."


    Running Elk stayed where he was, not saying anything. I started to shift, thought the better of it for a second, and turned back to him.


    "We good cuz?"


    I had to have that reassurance that my human cousin, who was more like a brother to me, still felt that bond between us. He studied me for a moment.His slight smile was a relief.


    "Always good, cuz," he said.


    I grinned back, and shifted like I do for running; feet first, legs and torso happening so fast, shoulders, focus on front paws hitting the ground. It helped to want to smell what the wolf smells, to see how the wolf sees, to hear...


    Four paws on the ground, already moving.The faster the shift, the less focus on the achy pain as bones and muscles readjusted; and the wolf dealt with pain differently.I paused to look back at Running Elk. He looked thoughtful.


    "Still good cuz", he said softly.


    There was something...I kept looking at him until I realized what it was. His eyes held new knowledge now, no longer naive. Innocence lost, in a way.


    I smiled back, tongue lolling, realizing anew just how much I loved my cousin. Another short howl had me turning both my ears and my head out of instinct to pick up the most from the sounds. The old silvering grey was inviting me to join him in a small hunt.


    A quick glance full of joy and wolffish laughter at my cousin, then I was gone, off to enjoy what remained of the silver-tinged night.

 2 Wolf Song

    A shadow moved through the nighttime woods, sliding with ease between the sturdy young oaks in this part of the wilderness. Moonlight slipped through the leafy canopy, reflecting off the occasional rock that poked through the ground here and there. The shadow avoided those pockets of luminescence without even thinking about it.


    Little Wolf traveled by instinct, his paws barely touching the ground. His mind was unable to truly focus on his surroundings.He hadn''t wandered these woods since the night his mother died a year ago. Memories of his dad''s desperate howl, his mother''s mangled body, filled his mind. He headed deeper into the woods, where the hardwoods grew bigger and the underbrush was less pervasive.


    There was a way to move through the nighttime forest that his dad simply referred to as gliding- an easy loping pace, low to the ground. Ghosting, Mom had called it, flitting like a free-moving spirit wisping through the trees.


    Are you ghosting with me now, mom?


    A silver streak flashed in his periphery, making him lose his stride for a moment. His dad would have his hide for getting distracted. Little Wolf glanced around, hoping to catch another glimpse of whoever was in the forest with him tonight. It couldn''t have been his dad, whose fur was a solid black.


    A sad, long, drawn-out howl had him gathering speed, all of his senses straining forward.


    He sought the hills and ridges above the river, not too far from where his mom''s life had ended. He had to smile, his canines glistening in the moonlight, as he caught his cousin''s scent. It was the way among his mother''s people for a young man to spend the night alone in the forest to seek his spirit helper through dreams. For his cousin to choose tonight of all nights...


    As much as he had enjoyed spending the last month with his cuz, he missed his dad''s companionship. It had become common for his dad to take off for a night or two since his mom''s death, but this last time he hadn''t come back. The level of grief he had just heard in his dad''s howl made him wonder if he would be able to break through his dad''s suffering enough to bring him home.


    Another howl off to his left, announcing the presence of another wolf, made him pick up his pace. A third howl from behind him sent chills up his spine. This was his family''s territory. There hadn''t been any normal, regular wolves around here for a long time. Dad had always kept the area well marked.


    Little Wolf kept waiting to hear a response from his dad. He heard the hoot of an owl, the breeze along the trees, but nothing from his dad. Little Wolf sought higher ground, moving around the gullies that would slow him down. His paws scrabbled against the loose pebbles underfoot.


    Two more howls, and then another, quickly followed by three more. Little Wolf altered his path, headed unerringly to the spot he knew his cousin would have gone to begin his spirit journey. He sprinted, claws scrambling, toward the place where his mother, River Woman, had breathed her last. He wasn''t going to let his cousin alone with a real wolf pack around, no matter the spiritual importance of his cousin''s solitary journey into the wilderness.


    He let out a call of his own, two attention-getting yaps followed by his own short howl as he caught a stronger, fresher whiff of his cousin''s scent. Come on, Dad, he thought, you have to know he''s here. I can''t protect him from a whole wolfpack on my own! He came to a sudden stop, snout to face with the son of his mother''s brother.


    I think I just scared ten years growth out of you, cuz, Little Wolf thought with a hint of a grin.


    The two stared at each other a moment, man and beast, when they were both startled by a humorous snort coming from the rise above them. Little Wolf sat back on his haunches, wagging his tail at the big black shadow that separated itself from a nearby bush. Eyes that reflected the moonlight stared down at them. His dad only showed himself briefly before sliding back out of view.


    Really Dad?


    Little Wolf looked up at his cousin, who had no idea the beast in front of him was anything more than a wolf. Little Wolf wagged his tail again, wishing for a camera so he could capture the look of fear and confusion on Running Elk''s face.


    A low growl from behind him caused him to spin around, hackles raised. He placed himself squarely in front of his human cousin. The light grey timber-wolf facing him was showing teeth and hanging low, testing boundaries.


    Little Wolf was suddenly aware of the rest of the invading pack around them as his cousin cussed, moving further back against the wall of dirt behind him. Two more males, both darker grey than the leader, and a rarer russet-colored female ranging nearby. The old silver he had glimpsed earlier was off to the side and above them. And, there, the sixth timber wolf, a female about to have a litter, hanging back behind her mate.


    This pack was challenging for den territory. They wouldn''t understand that he didn''t care about territory like they did. His unwanted opponent growled again, stepping forward. Little Wolf felt his hackles rise as he snarled back at his adversary. He got a glimpse of his cousin, carefully reaching down to grab an old fallen tree limb, eyes focused on the showdown before him.


    Their confrontation was interrupted by a howl reverberating through the forest. It seemed to come from a place beyond what mere distance could account for. It started off with the new wolf announcing its presence, transforming into an invitation for others to join in. The howl drew out into a song appreciating the silver-tinged night before fading into an anticipating silence.


    Little Wolf was shocked when his dad''s voice let loose in a song devoid of grief. It sang of the beautiful light from the moon, the accompanying sound of the rushing water from the nearby river, and the scent trails of their present company mixed with the familiar scents of family. The old silver wolf added his voice. Little Wolf could hear the many years of experience embedded in the old wolf''s long, undulating, drawn out howl.


    Little Wolf looked at his antagonist, who seemed equally unsure about what to do next. Both of them stepped back as another wolf slid in between the two of them. Silver, but not with age, she ghosted up to him.


    Little Wolf felt his fur stand on end as if he was being overwhelmed with static. The voice of the ethereal wolf sounded again, even as its ghostly form blurred slightly, flowing upward, re-forming into the image of his mother as he remembered her from his childhood. Little Wolf didn''t even think as he howled out, his wolf-song expressing his sudden joy and love as fingers made of silver light seemed to move through his fur. He changed, muscles stretching and joints adjusting just enough to stand on two legs, his body still covered in fur. He moved his mostly-human arms to embrace her. He found himself awkwardly grinning as he realized how foolish trying to hug his mom''s ghostly image was. He shifted back to four legs even as she did. Their voices joined in the deepening night; his dad''s song making it complete.


    The soon-to-be daddy wolf hesitantly raised his voice, his song strengthening as his mates notes coupled with his. There was a lull, a comfortable warmth in which Little Wolf moved up against his cousin''s leg. He looked up at his human cousin with another wolffish grin.


    His dad''s voice began the next chorus. The ethereal wolf moved in that direction even as her ghostly song filled the night once more. The rest of the new pack, deciding there would be no fight, added to the moonlit melody.


    After a while the other wolves drifted away, leaving Little Wolf with his cousin. Thinking of the elders'' injunction against changing in front of others, Little Wolf almost hesitated. In his whole tribe, only the elders knew about him and his parents being werewolves, and the elders wanted to keep it that way. His cousin might not have recognized him through the fur he had when he had shifted upright.


    After this night and what he''s already seen, what the heck. Little Wolf shifted completely, rising up to two legs, becoming fully human once more. He reached out to put a hand on Running Elk''s shoulder. Little Wolf could hear his cousin''s heart beating furiously as he gently pulled the thick piece of deadwood from his cousin''s slackening grasp.


    "Looks like we both met our spirit animal tonight, cuz," he said jokingly. Somehow he didn''t think his mother''s ghost qualified for the spirit guide his cousin had come out to find.


    Little Wolf''s own spirit filled with a profound sense of family as he continued to grin at his near-panicking yet stoic cousin. Little Wolf had a new-found peace in the ever-deepening night concerning his mother''s death, and could only hope his father would as well.


    ************

 3 Ch 3 Connected

    Loping back toward home in the pre-dawn darkness, shoulder to shoulder with my dad,gave me such a feeling of comfort and completeness. We had connected up during the night, getting to know our new neighbors. Dad and I had left the new pack behind, the two of us hunting for small game and playing together.


    Dad and I were so close physically that our shoulders or sides touched most of the time. We would part for the occasional leap over an obstacle then come back together again. We had the same pace, similar height now, although he was still huskier than I was and a bit taller in the shoulder. I could only hope that we would be closer emotionally as well. I know he loved me, but the last year, especially the last few months, had been hard and lonely with Mom gone.


    Our home was on the outskirts of our community, right up against the woods. Dad led the way along the row of bushes to the opening in the crawl space under our trailer, ensuring privacy for wolffish excursions. Dad made the leap up through the opening he had made in the floor of the spare bedroom. He was shifting even as he made the awkward jump up. By the time I had scrambled up and finished shifting in the hall, he was already opening the fridge, shaking his head at its sparse offerings.


    "How long was I out there?" he asked, his voice a bit rough from lack of use. He pulled out what was left of the lunch meat.


    I finished sliding on the pair of shorts I nabbed and threw him his before answering.


    "About a month," I answered as I pulled out the bread. "Don''t forget the mayo and mustard while you''re in there. People were beginning to talk, wondering if you''d be back for the start of classes in a few weeks."


    He took the time to set everything on the pine table, started to close the fridge door, reopened it to grab the milk, before closing the fridge tight. He finally got around to putting on his shorts.


    "That long? I''m truly sorry, son, I thought it was only a week, two at the most. You must have thought I''d abandoned you."


    There was remorse and pain in his eyes as he turned to me. We had done nothing but continually snap at each other then act like nothing happened since Mom died. We''d both be apologetic, then before long we would be going off on each other again. The cycle had been continually repeating more often for the few months before his extended run. The thought that he had caused me pain while lost in his own sorrow tortured him. I was quick to reassure him.


    "Nah, I know you needed some time, and a bit of space. I think we both did," I added softly.


    I had looked down in a bit of shame over our behavior without even thinking. Looking back up I couldn''t help but grin, trying to keep my tone a bit cheerful without overdoing it.


    "Uncle Two Feathers had me over often enough for dinner, and even Grandfather invited me over a few times."


    Making it sound like I had been invited by my uncle was stretching the truth a little. Running Elk had literally and forcefully dragged me out of my house again and again to join him on his summertime excursions. He hadn''t given either me nor his parents any choice but for me to join his family for dinner for most of the last month.


    Grandfather on the other hand was a different story. I knew Grandfather was a touchy subject. The old chief still had mixed feelings about his only daughter''s choice of a spouse, even after all this time.


    Grandfather saw my father as a stranger, not of the people, and only tolerated because my mother loved him. That my father was bound to the wolf, as my grandfather saw it, caused a bit of awe mixed with concern. As much as I knew my grandfather loved me, I think the old man also resented my very existence. He never liked the changes my mother desired in order to be able to give birth to me.


    I figured maybe it would be easier if I got everything out at once. I tried to be nonchalant about things as I put my sandwich together across from him.


    "I was kinda surprised Grandfather approved of the job offer I got while you were out."


    A quick look of surprise coupled with the pain and guilt of abandoning me during his own grief washed over my father''s face. I flashed him what I hoped was a reassuring smile.


    "Glasses," he said, pointing with his chin while his hands worked on the sandwiches.


    I could tell by the glance he gave at the empty sink that he was pretty sure I hadn''t bothered using a glass while drinking down the carton. I could almost hear what mom would say every time she thought I was sneaking a drink without bothering with a glass. He was silent as he gave the milk a quick sniffed to make sure it hadn''t spoiled before emptying the last of it into the two glasses I had set on the counter.


    "I''ll go shopping once the stores open," dad said.


    There was a pause with closed eyes on his part, as if he was pulling himself together still. When he opened them, he picked up the milk glass, raising it as if making a toast.


    "Congratulations on getting a response from those many applications you filled out," he said.


    A slight smile like old times touched his lips for a moment, before hiding what I knew was disappointment that I would be leaving him soon. I think he was just beginning to realize he needed me as much as I needed him.


    "I know you''ve worked hard. Which company are you going to go with?" he asked.


    "Ranger station over in Yellowstone. I figure should be a good fit, plenty of opportunities to put my schooling to practical use, good for a future resum¨¦ should I decide on a change."


    "Yellowstone is some pretty territory, plenty to keep you busy considering its size. Your grandfather approved? Good, I''m glad."


    Again, so much unspoken. I know my dad would fight for me, whatever choices I made for myself. I''d been debating what to do with my life for the past year. Before Mom died I didn''t want to stay. After she died, I couldn''t bear to go. Knowing dad wouldn''t have to have any confrontation with Grandfather made things a bit easier.


    "What say I come with you to do the shopping?" I suggested. "We could use some laundry stuff too."


    Dad just looked at me with raised eyebrows. I answered with a surrendering shrug. I usually fought and argued with my dad about almost everything. There was absolutely no fight in me today. And for me to actually volunteer was above and beyond the usual.


    He came around the kitchen table and pulled me into a hug, breathing deep to take in my scent, as if he had been gone so long he forgot what I smelled like. His breath caught in his throat. Damn, I didn''t expect him to start actually crying.I hugged him back, another rare event, and his grip tightenedbriefly before he let go.


    "Think I''ll shower up, I could probably use a good scrub," he said, lifting his arm and giving himself a whiff. "Do I have any clean jeans around or did you wear them all?"


    I grinned sheepishly. How well he knew me! He just sighed and headed toward his bedroom. I cringed, thinking of the pile of dirty clothes I had left about the place. I waited for an outburst from him that never came. He must be out of the strength to fight as well.


    A minute later I heard the water running in the bathroom. I took the opportunity to clean up some, so the place looked more respectable. I felt guilty over the mess, knowing mom would never have tolerated it, and knowing I wouldn''t have made such a mess in the first place had she still been around. Maybe my not picking things up was my small way of rebelling against her death, I mused.


    What I did know is that dad would feel guilty over my lack of self discipline. I could see him thinking it was his fault because of how he''d been neglecting his fatherly duties during his prolonged absence. A quick spray of air freshener finished the job just as the water turned off.


    I could feel dad hesitate before joining me in the living room. He wore the brown jeans my mother had gotten for him, one of the few pair I would never dream of "borrowing" from his closet like I would most of his other clothes. Ever since a sudden growth spurt had me outgrowing most of mine, mom started raiding dad''s stuff so I''d look decently acceptable at school my junior year. It was a trend I had continued, much to his annoyance, even after my closet had been updated. That growth spurt had in its way triggered the start to our many fights.


    Dad had shaved and was towel drying his hair as he came over and sat down in his chair across from my position on the couch. While dad had dark hair, it wasn''t quite the same raven black that my mother and I shared. I had inherited an odd combination from my parents; the more squarish face of my mother''s people slightly tempered with dad''s more European looks. My skin tone was only a few shades lighter than my mother''s had been, and darker than dad''s even with his tan. I had my dad''s bright green eyes. He always said my eyes were filled with my mom''s eternal curiosity and her desire to learn. I had always thought it was his excuse to throw more lessons at me.


    "I''m gonna have to get a haircut while we''re in town," he said.


    The look he gave me didn''t match his simple comment. He opened his mouth to speak, then shut it. He raked one hand through his hair, then carefully folded the towel a bit and set it off to the side. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, and steepled his fingers. He brought up his fingers to his chin before pointing them at me.


    "We need to talk, which means I need you to really listen, like the man you''re becoming and not the boy you were."

 4 Ch 4 The Other Side of the Family

    I didn''t feel like listening to another lecture, especially without mom around to keep things from exploding between me and my dad. I also didn''t want to lose the camaraderie my dad and I had tentatively found. He sounded tired, like he was drained, but pulling on hidden reserves to get him through this.


    The way he was looking at me wasn''t his usual condescending smirking glare. Nor was it the demanding drill instructor, no-nonsense-tolerated, stiff-ass attitude I often got from him when he taught me anything about being one with the wolf.


    I sat up. He had said "like the man I was becoming". It actually took me a second to realize he was going to try and speak to me like an adult, someone of equal standing. It was about time! I took a breath and leaned forward a bit myself. I didn''t trust myself to say anything other than, "I''m listening".


    Dad gave a small wane smile that proved to me he was going to try. I had a feeling his normal way of talking to me was buried just below the surface. I was sure it was ready to come out the second I acted immaturely enough in his opinion to blow it. His self-deprecating smile was an acknowledgment of what normally happened when we tried to have any conversation since Mom died.


    "Your mom and I had many discussions in our time together about the wolf that is part of me. Our conversations covered history, spirituality, physiology and psychology, practicality, and sexuality."


    His eyes held a bit of humor with that last word as he looked at me. Shit, I think I knew where this "adult" conversation was heading! As if I needed a talk on sex! I was twenty years old now! I bit back a sigh, trying not to roll my eyes or show any other sign of attitude, promising myself that for my mother''s sake I would hear dad out. His grin only got bigger as he shook his head slightly.


    "Let''s start with history," he said, surprising me. "Specifically my history. You know I met your mother at college, and that I came over to the United States from Europe. I''ve told you my parents had passed away, and that''s partially and probably true. You know my mother died giving birth to me. My father..."


    I didn''t understand the look in his eyes. Pain, sadness, compassion, I don''t know. It was memory driven for sure as he thought about his past. He refocused on me and continued before I could figure out what to say.


    "My father gave into the wolf. Like I almost had before you pulled me back. But before he gave himself over completely to the wolf, he gave me his history, what he knew of it."


    I wasn''t sure I understood exactly what dad meant by giving into the wolf, but I wasn''t going to interrupt his story to ask him.


    "My grandfather had been found in the Black Forest as a baby, or well a toddler maybe. It was the end of the Russian revolution and soldiers were still about. There had been some sort of battle. He had been found in the ruins of an old deserted monastery. The soldiers had carried him out of the forest and left him with an old peasant couple in the first village they came across.


    "It didn''t take long before the couple figured out they had a demon child on their hands, one who could change into a wolf. They thought he should be drowned but couldn''t bring themselves to kill a child.


    "Needless to say, my grandfather grew up without much human contact, learned to stay in human form around humans. The old couple died while he was in his teens. When he got olderhe mated with the local wolves in the forest, not trusting human companionship. One day one of the half-grown pups started following him around instead of staying with the pack. That was my father."


    I couldn''t believe what I was hearing. I had real wolf heritage in my blood? We were werewolves because a werewolf mated with actual wolves? No, that wasn''t right, there was a werewolf to begin with. Or was that mating as incidental as being able to be human because of a werewolf mating with a human?


    Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Where was the boundary between wolf and human? Or was there one? Was that lack of a boundary what made us werewolves?


    My shocked speculation was noticed by my dad who just grinned slightly at me and kept on talking as if that little tidbit meant nothing.


    "My grandfather taught him all he could about humans, which wasn''t much, and everything he knew about living as a wolf, which was plenty. At some point my father''s curiosity about humans outweighed his wolffish comfort in the forest.


    "He found and married some young girl. They lived in the cottage once inhabited by the old couple that had raised my grandfather. My father was grief stricken when my mother died in childbirth. There was an older couple in the village that had just lost a child. The woman offered to nurse me. I lived with them, though my father was always near.


    "My early childhood was pleasant enough I suppose, until I was about two or three years old and started experiencing pain. That''s when my father took over the raising of me, moved me back to the cottage. I don''t know how long the pain lasted. Days. My father force-fed me. I remember him dribbling water into my mouth. When parts of me would shift, he would shift those parts of himself, showed me what to do, showed me what I could become. At some point during the worst pain, I remember a big wolf standing over me, shoving me with his snout, sitting off to the side looking at me. That''s how I met my grandfather.


    "My grandfather was wolf more often than he was man, and didn''t seem to understand why I preferred to be human more than wolf. My father defended me though, both in wolf and human form. He thought maybe my human preference was because I had a human mother.


    "By the time I was in my teens, my own curiosity about the world was too much. I had learned as much as I could from the humans in the area, learned how big the world was, and longed to see it for myself.


    "My grandfather had stopped coming around. Father took to the woods looking for him, fearing some sort of attack. Father was gone for a few days. He came home one night announcing he had found my grandfather dead in the middle of the old monastery ruins, natural causes we assumed.


    "Father started to bury him there at the old monastery in the forest. His digging had revealed a small cemetery there full of a dozen or more skeletons that were obviously werewolves. Some were full wolf, who don''t bury their dead, or part wolf and part human. All adults. We kept looking and found where the infants that never lived past a few months or maybe even survive birth had been buried. There was at least thirty of those infant graves!He took me there, and we made sure to rebury everything deep enough so there wouldn''t be a risk to us by them being found."


    I tried to picture it, the unmarked graves of children who couldn''t survive the pain of the change. Maybe they were born with boundary walls within them that didn''t allow free access to the wolf. I understood better now the deep current of possessiveness I''d always felt from dad. Seeing that many dead baby skeletons is what made him hold me so tightly. It explained some of the pain and compassion I had seen in his eyes moments ago as well when he considered his past. I couldn''t imagine handling what was left of so many small bodies.


    "Somewhere, at some time, there had been a pack of werewolves living at that monastery. I made a point after that of shifting around any wolves we met, in the hopes of finding another werewolf.In all the time of living there, none had ever made themselves known to us.


    "My father and I came to the conclusion that they had either died during the Russian revolution or ran off either to deeper parts of the immense Black Forest where they might have lost their humanity living as wolves, or they might have left to other parts of the world."


    Dad paused, waiting I think for me to process all that. He sighed. When he continued he sounded drained again.


    "And that''s about it. Father saw my restlessness, my desire to find out anything about how we came to be. He gathered up every possession in the old cottage, every coin, every trinket. He took me to town, sold everything, sold the land that the cottage was on. He even sold some furs from his kills. He gave it all to me.


    "He told me to go out into the world, see what I could find, to be careful. Then he added that when my journeys were done, if I had found nothing that gave me peace, then I could return and howl from the old monastery. If he still lived, he would come to me. "


    Silence for awhile. Not only could I not think of absolutely anything to say, I was too scared that anything I said would come out wrong and blow this chance to hear dad talk about his past like this.


    "He''s probably dead by now," dad finally mused quietly, "but he might still be alive. I don''t know if the wolf lives as long as the man. My father took to the forest when I left. I doubt he ever came back out of it."


    The sad smile on his face made me consider what dad''s life had been like. He left his home and the only family he had. He came to a strange land. The woman he loved was killed in front of his eyes.


    Mom had been fascinated to look at the world through wolffish senses. Where dad drilled the practical uses of those wolf senses into me, mom made sure I noticed the beauty of it as well. I think she spent most of her time with wolffish eyes in her human face, her nose often flared to catch various scents.


    "The rest you know. I made my way across Europe, covering the ground in wolf form, my sparse belongings bundled up so I could carry them with my teeth.


    "I spent my time learning about the world from watching from the outskirts of cities. Peeking through many a window to watch television when I came across one, learning languages as I traveled. I laid outside school windows, listening to what I could.


    "I had made my way to Italy when I heard about the free education and opportunities available in the states. Spent the last of what I had getting here. Finding your mother was a godsend."


    Dad paused, his face softening into that look he reserved for Mom as he thought about her.


    "Living here on the reservation, away from most people, made things so much easier for me. There''s privacy at the reservation you don''t get in the world out there. No one wanting identification among other things," he added wryly."A different spirituality that was worth investigating as well."


    I was angry for a second that he made it sound like my mother was nothing but a way for him to live somewhere in peace, even though I knew better. My anger was misplaced. I knew the bonds of love that had existed between my parents. Deep breathes to calm down before he really noticed. His gaze sharpened then. He took in what he saw in me. It seemed to confuse him.


    "I know you don''t want to hear it, seeing as how you''re about to go out and explore the world yourself, but it''s different out there. You have to remain vigilant. You can''t get careless."


    A bit of the condescending drill instructor was coming out of him. I tried not to stiffen up and pull away. He and I had already had this conversation many times. He constantly harped on about being careful and vigilant whenever I went anywhere on or off the reservation.


    It was a refrain he had hammered at me since I first shifted, after I had spent days in painful agony during my first shift right after I had turned three.It was his first and ongoing lecture. Many times I had yelled back at him that I had heard it enough. I bit my lower lip to keep from saying anything now.


    He noticed of course. He swore slightly to himself under his breath, raking both hands through his hair. He got up and took the towel into the laundry room, coming back to just stand in the doorway, eyes filled with pain.


    "Look, I''m sorry. I know you''ve heard the drill. You''re going to be tempted out there in ways you don''t even think about around here, both as a wolf and a man. Don''t hate me for worrying about you. I couldn''t make it out there, it''s just to much, too foreign. Too many people, just too much," he repeated softly, his eyes filled with memories that seemed to haunt him.


    I''ve never seen him like this, distracted and somehow vulnerable. He was a wolf, I realized, struggling to live in a human world without the one human that made the journey worth the effort. And what was I?

 5 Ch 5 A Father/Son Talk

    "I don''t hate you."


    A partial truth. He was my father and I loved him. I just hated his ongoing sermons and training. He was a wolf living in a human world. I was a human, who merely also happened to be able to live as a wolf. I grew up human, despite our family excursions as wolves. I was part of a deep and cultural human society. I had family beyond just him and mom. I was part of my mom''s tribe, a connection with society Dad never had and possibly, I realized, a connection he just couldn''t completely grasp. I had an identity beyond being wolf. My interests went far beyond the limits of a wolf. I honestly couldn''t see me having any trouble out in the world.


    My dad was right about me being filled with mom''s desire to learn; and his too. Teacher he might be, but in his heart, Dad was an eternal student.


    Dad gave a little hmmph as if he knew what I was thinking. He probably did, as often as we''d yelled it back and forth. But then he grinned a bit as he walked over and put his hand behind my head. He pulled on me until our foreheads met.


    "You''re my son, and I love you. Now go get cleaned up so we can go shopping.


    A quick shower, a pair of jeans and a black tee shirt dad had set out, his way of telling me to keep out of his room, and I was ready to go.


    Dad drove, and asked me about my job prospect the whole way over. It was easy conversation for a change, both of us avoiding the word choices that usually set things off.


    Two hair cuts later (dad had insisted I needed one as well), a quick second breakfast while we were out, then on to the local grocery store.


    Looking at our full shopping cart, I realized we''d managed a whole morning with no arguments. That sense of camaraderie was back, if slightly strained. Dad sent me out to load up the truck while he went back in for something.


    When he came out, he went to the passenger side, letting me drive, much to my surprise. Seemed he was really trying to treat me like a man like he''d said. He was quiet, almost pensive, for the ride home. He kept fingering whatever he had gone back in for in his far jacket pocket.


    Groceries finally put away, I started to head out of the kitchen when dad stopped me by grabbing my arm. He put that small bag from his last minute purchase in my hands.


    "You''re going to be on your own," he started nervously, "and you''re going to be looking for companionship." Dad paused, looking out the kitchen window before he started talking again.


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    "You know I''ve always told you to be cautious, to be vigilante..."


    He took a deep breath, giving me one more glance before fixing his gaze out the window. He kept one hand on my shoulder to keep me from going anywhere, the other hand splayed across the kitchen counter as he explained how I should use his purchase.


    I looked in the bag, extremely mortified by the boxes of condoms in there. Closing the bag tight, I tried to get away, quickly realizing I couldn''t, not without physically fighting him. His grip on my shoulder pushed between the muscles. My attempt to move caused him to tighten his grip even more. I tried not to wince as the hint of claw tips pressed into my shoulder muscles.


    His talk continued into female anatomy, the basics of method, the reason certain motions were more intense than others as they stimulated pleasure points, areas to focus on. I was totally embarrassed. Most of it I knew.


    He finally changing his lecture to the proper care needed to control my passions to avoid the wolf, the use of scents placed about the room to minimize the female odor, how the desire for smells would temp me to do at least a partial shift; how the desire to taste might overwhelm me as my tongue sought action, threatening to bring out the wolf.


    Beyond embarrassed. Mortified. Locked into place by the death grip on my shoulder.


    He started in again with the caution I should use to avoid a pregnancy I might never be made aware of, one that, even if terminated without my knowledge, might provide too much information to today''s sciences.


    His eyes never looked away from the window, he never loosened his grip on my shoulder, and I could feel a slight trembling in that grip. His voice was steady however, as it just kept droning on, going into more details than I really wanted to know.


    Let me just die now! My slight squirm had the curve of his claws pushing deeper into my muscles.


    He spoke of the wolf, being with another wolf.


    Fascination coupled with embarrassment, knowing he was speaking of experience with my mom... or had he been with real wolves at some point? I really didn''t want to know, even as I did want to know. This slow death by embarrassment was torture!


    He went on to describe how the wolf reacted to certain things, especially a human woman in heat. I tried to protest that one, claiming to have been around plenty of girls in high school and college, but his claws ripped my, well his, shirt that I was wearing, his grip pressing deeper into skin, but still not drawing blood.


    "They do," he said, still keeping his gaze fixated on the tree outside the window, while his free hand had claw tips digging into the wooden counter, "just differently than animals. There is that period when the egg is released, right before her menstruation begins, when a human woman is most likely to conceive. You''ll notice when you start getting... intense, with a woman. Her body releases pheromones too subtle for a human to identify, but the wolf within you will want to breed. The last thing you want to do is become a rapist. So just keep listening."


    And he went on. And on. I went from mortified to embarrassed to fascinated back to mortified and embarrassed many times during that very long, mostly one-sided talk.


    He finished by withdrawing his hand from my shoulder, patting it a few times, giving a more fatherly squeeze to my shoulder, as he finally told me to go put the now very, very crumpled bag in my hand away.

 6 Ch 6 Being Man

    I took a moment while out of his view to wince and rub my shoulder. I stuffed the very wrinkled bag in the back of my sock drawer without even looking at it. Peeling off the ripped shirt, I threw it in a corner. I had to bend over some to take a look at my shoulder in my dresser mirror. Touching it gingerly, I knew I was going to be sore for the next few days.


    No clean shirts left in my room, which meant nothing to hide the bruise that was working its way across my shoulder. I resented that grip, but knew I wouldn''t have stayed to listen to everything if it hadn''t been there. And I had promised to listen.


    I had demanded to be treated like a man, and got more than I bargained for.


    His words about possibly becoming a rapist came back to me. He never said he had, only that the struggle in a crowded city was too much for him, how finding mom had been a godsend.


    I really didn''t want to ask, was determined not to ask. At the same time I was desperate to ask, to be reassured that my dad was who I always thought he was.


    It was my turn to try and stop the trembling that was the side effect of too much emotion being bottled up for too long. I wanted to rid myself of my jeans and run across the land, paws digging into the earth to spur my speed. I got as far as setting my hand to the button on my jeans.


    Be a man.


    I couldn''t run, couldn''t go out there without my emotions under control, couldn''t stay hiding in my room.


    Fake it until you make it, my mom had whispered to me once when I was younger and starting schooling , sharing a grin with me. She had tried to prep me for manhood even then. Don''t let them see you get ruffled, no matter who "they" were. Girls, bullies, my dad...


    I took a deep breath before I went back out to join him.


    He was in the kitchen, cooking up a pan of potatoes, with two steaks sitting on the counter waiting their turn.


    "I threw a load in the washer," he said without turning around.


    "I was going to."


    I was relieved my voice came out steady, even if I still felt shaky. I didn''t realize how long I''d been in my room.


    "You can get the next one," he said. I heard the smirk in his voice.


    I snorted. Dad always hated doing laundry, not that it was my favorite thing to do either.


    He glanced back at me to see how I was doing. His eyes narrowed slightly as he took in my shoulder, but he said nothing. I could feel it though, the silent words. Be a man. I could feel a certain amount of pride coming from him too. Gad this was awkward.


    "What you gonna drive while you''re out there?"


    His question caught me by surprise. "I thought you''d drive me up in the truck. After that, I don''t know. I''ll figure something out."


    "Michael down at Split Creek has that old bike of his he''s been talking of getting rid of. We should go over and talk to him about it. Bikes are cheap on gas, and you can go off road with that old thing."


    That old thing? That "old thing" was a frigging Indian motorcycle that''s probably worth a small fortune as an antique. Ten times more valuable because of how well kept it was.


    Michael had a shed out back full of enough spare parts to make a few bikes. Working on the old bikes has been Michael''s lifelong hobby, and he was as old as Grandfather. An Indian was a dream bike if there ever was one! Forget the more famous, bigger, or fancier bikes. A bike like that could go  just about anywhere my four paws could take me.


    "Michael will never let his go," I said with complete confidence.


    "Hmmm. We should go talk to him anyway," Dad said as if I already agreed to go.


    Shoulder temporarily forgotten, I just stared at Dad''s back as he stirred the potatoes around.


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    There was another whole unspoken conversation in that sentence, in his whole purposely casual demeanor. He was offering me the freedom to go that I''d so long craved, tied here by unspoken bonds I always felt, but never understood. No more fighting me. He was giving me his unspoken blessing, offering me the independence of a man.


    It was late afternoon when we drove up the dirt road to Michael''s. It was a quiet ride; Dad didn''t even turn the radio on. Things were still kinda awkward, despite dad keeping that casual attitude that was betrayed by the grip he had on the steering wheel. We walked in silence to the back of the property, to the old shed that was Michael''s workshop.


    Dad did most of the talking after the brief hello. Michael commented about how young I''d been last time he''d seen me a few years ago. Michael easily started to shake hands with my dad for the sale of a bike he had just finished putting together. Dad stepped back saying the sale was directly to me.


    The amount was more than reasonable. Michael told me I could make payments as my paychecks came in. The whole thing went down just way to easy. I tried to catch Dad''s eye, but he kept looking at parts laying around.


    Michael insisted then on inviting us up to the house, saying he wanted to share a smoke with us.


    Dad agreed too easily. I shot Dad another look, knowing how he barely tolerated the formal smoking ritual. I''ve never seen him accept an offer to smoke, without at least trying to get out of it without offering offense. My look was ignored as we trudged up to the house as the shadows lengthened into evening.


    We sat out back, the old man instructing dad to start a fire while he went in the house for his pipe. Dad kept busy, purposely avoiding me until Michael came back out. The three of us sat around the small fire. Dad still didn''t really look at me.


    The old man couldn''t share a smoke without sharing stories of some of the close calls he''d had on bikes over his long years. I was being lectured by an old man about bike safety. I kept my features pleasant, nodded respectfully at the right times.


    I could do this.


    Be a man.


    I groaned internally.


    After stories hi-lightning the dangers of riding a bike, there were other stories of how his bikes had saved him on a few occasions. Michael had lived an adventurous life in his time. Some of the stories were really interesting. I found myself asking the occasion question or making comments.


    We sat there for a few hours, sharing smoke and stories as dusk came on. I kept throwing glances at dad when I thought the old man wasn''t looking. All I got was more of that purposely casual attitude from him with that still-not-looking at you... until finally a slight side glance and a quick smirking grin.


    Be a man. Hang out with the grown men. Don''t be the impatient boy I once was. Show respect to your elders... and it was actually pretty cool to do so, not that I''d admit it.


    Michael surprised me with the story of how my mother had used one of his bikes to make her rounds as the local vet, until an elk had attacked it during rut season.


    "I don''t know, maybe the elk thought the handlebars were enough like horns to challenge it. There is no explaining an elk in rut."


    Michael paused to blow out smoke, then used the pipe to motion toward the bike we''d made an agreement about, his voice slow and deliberate.


    "Your mother wanted you to have it. May it serve you the same way it served River Woman."


    I was astounded to learn mom had ridden a bike. I never knew! More, mom''s old bike was now my new bike, and mom had wanted me to have it. The memory of her silver ghost pushed its way to the forefront of my thoughts.


    This explained the few quiet arguments my parents had had the few weeks before we took to the forest that fateful day, if you could call it arguing. A stiff tone from dad, mom''s determined but gentle comment in return, a long silence. I never knew what they were disagreeing about. I glanced at the bike that mom had arranged for me, the bike dad had been against.


    Sharing a look with the old man who held the long formal pipe out to me with both hands, I saw respect. I realized that my new steel horse was not merely a purchase. The low price of the old repaired bike was Michael''s gift to honor all my mother had done to help the people who couldn''t pay full price for her veterinary skills. It was a connection with my mom''s past. A gift that honored me as her son, as a man in my own rights.


    I solemnly took the pipe, took a steadying draw. I couldn''t look at dad right now, didn''t dare. He knew the bike was waiting for me when he suggested we come out here. Dad was honoring my mom''s wishes. He was setting me free, giving me the means to go the same way his father had for him.


    Hearing the story about mom had me all emotional, especially after the long day I''d had. I was determined that I was not going to cry at a time when I was being accepted as a man.

 7 Ch 7 Being Wolf

    The next day was more of the same, with dad going out of his way to get me ready to be on my own. First thing the next morning was a longer trip into the county seat to get motorcycle added to my driving license. He insisted on a helmet and I didn''t argue.


    He also insisted on a trip to the mall while we were in town. He bought me one dress shirt and a few casual shirts so I''d have something other than my usual tees. We had lunch in the food court, where he instructed me to bring the wolf within me closer to the surface. Dad was leaning back, remaining casual, commenting on the various smells and sounds. I was glad it was mid-week and not too crowded.


    I felt like I was about to panic, freaked out by this new attitude he had. He and I had never really just hung together. It had always been my mom and I who took off to go places. It was hard to match his casual atmosphere and just chat about the wolf. It was hard to push down the rebellious teen I had been. I didn''t know if I could keep doing it. Our eyes met.


    Be a man. Who knew it was so frigging hard.


    After the mall were a few more stops. A sweet extra set of removable saddlebags for the bike from a tack shop. The sporting goods store was the next stop, where Dad bought me a duffel bag I could tie behind me on the bike, a new single person tent, and my own hunting knife. I didn''t understand the look dad gave me when he held the knife thoughtfully before adding it to our stuff. He threw in a pocket knife as well, with a longer and more solid blade than the little one I usually carried.


    Somehow I knew there was going to be another talk that night, one no more comfortable than the last, but no death grip on me either. A talk about a knife wasn''t going to be good. I started preparing myself now to be able to sit through it, no matter what he said.


    We loaded up the truck. I fingered the saddlebags we''d gotten for the bike... my bike. I couldn''t wait for the license to get processed so I could ride the refurbished old bike. I wished I could hop on it now. I was antsy, and just couldn''t relax. I wasn''t looking forward to the ride back home. I couldn''t help wondering if that was where he would start his talk- someplace I couldn''t escape if I wanted to. Stiffly, I got into the truck.


    There was no talk. Dad had the radio playing quietly, old country songs, loud enough to fill the silence. Dad kept looking at me sideways on the drive home. He didn''t say anything when he suddenly pulled the truck over by an expanse of woods along the freeway.


    "Get out."


    He had this slight knowing smile on his face as he opened the driver''s door, tucking the keys into his jeans.


    Shit, now what? I kept my silence up, following him down to the woods we''d parked by.


    We were barely into them when dad started stripping with a speed that spoke of practice. He was shifting even as he was setting the pile of clothes on top of his sneakers. Within seconds a huge black wolf stood before me. My dad looked at me expectantly through his wolf eyes.


    "Dad..."


    His gaze never wavered, not even a blink. His head dipped a little. He was waiting.


    With a sigh I lowered my gaze and pulled off my shirt, then the rest, but not with his speed. I made my own stack on top off the new sneakers we''d gotten at the mall. Crouching down with one hand still on my clothes, I looked at him. I wasn''t in the mood for whatever he had planned.


    He looked tense, ready to pounce. Shit. I did an all-at-once shift, starting in my chest. His attack came before I was finished.


    I snarled, using the still partially human leg muscles to give myself leverage to throw him off of me. I continued shifting, using the momentum from throwing him to spin around toward him. Landing on all fours, I stood to face him as a wolf.


    Dad charged again, half-shifting mid leap. He whammed into my shoulder, stretching his long hairy arms to squeeze my rib cage. I had a feeling I would end up with bruises along my sides.


    I wanted to sink my teeth into his arms. I stopped myself, remembering the stitches he had gotten from me biting him years ago when I was still a kid. I half-shifted, twisting my shoulder around. My thin front legs became arms inside his grip, leverage against his hold. I was twisting in his grasp so I could bring my hind claws up into him.


    Dad let go, dropping to all fours, full wolf again, circling, looking for an opening. His eyes were focused, all wolf, unblinking. He feigned to the right, his jaws open to grab my arm. His body started to shift. His arms stayed wolf to handle his weight, clawed hands digging into the ground to add stability. His back legs moved in a small pounce, his legs lengthened, his hips altering to be able to bring his legs to the front. The pounce turned into a swinging motion designed to knock me off my feet.


    My legs shifted, my posture that now of a wolf on all fours, except I wasn''t, not totally. My hind legs did their own pounce as I leaped over his attempted swipe, bringing smaller wolf legs up high. My fist swung to connect with his jaw. I rolled off to the side from the momentum of my leap. I kept shifting to full wolf even as I moved, taking advantage of the greater speed and reflexes I would have in that form.


    I stared at him, panting hard. We''d often worked out hard in the past, giving each other bumps and bruises, small scratches and scrapes. This was something different.


    Dad didn''t give me much time to think, rushing in again, his weight against my shoulder knocking me down. His back claws raked into me, scratching.


    Two wolves again, moving between the trees, stepping over dead branches and dry leaves. I tried to make sense of what he was doing, especially with the road not far away. This wasn''t a work out. This was real fighting. There were no pauses followed by instructions, no hint of what he was going to do next; and he wasn''t going easy on me.


    My turn to circle as a wolf. He lunged. I brought a fist up again, with the force of my change behind it this time, connecting once more with his wolf''s jaw.


    I continued my shift, standing on two legs, stopping the change part way; fur covered my body, claws were still partially formed on hands and feet. My partial snout took in the scents around me, my eyes focused on my adversary. It was getting hard to think.


    Dad stood there on four legs, giving his head a shake, before giving me a wolffish grin. He rose up, shifting to two furry legs, matching my partial shift. He came at me again and we grappled like two wrestlers, neither getting the upper hand. Suddenly he licked the inside of my ear. I let go of him like a hot potato. Uggg, long wolf tongue way deep into wolf ear... shiver!


    He shifted back to full human, laughing, pointing his finger at me. It was good to hear him laugh, even if it was at my expense. He went over to our pile of clothes, shaking his head as I shifted back to human as well. A human with red scratch welts, and the start of  a bruise showing on my side. Nothing compared to the bruise starting on his jaw where I''d clocked him twice.


    "Go," he said gently, still quietly laughing as he pulled on his sneakers. "I''ll pace you in the truck."


    He picked up my pile of clothes and headed back to the truck without a look back.


    I stood there for a minute, not sure what had just transpired between my dad and I. The sound of the truck engine had me completing the change to wolf. Claws scraped against the ground, my back legs digging in before I sprinted off.


    This was no ghosting run I did, no easy, loping, mile-eating pace. This was a full, hard run, as if I was chasing prey. I ran as if there was an enemy before me I needed to sink my teeth into.


    Powerful leaps, muscles gathering, exploding into longer and longer strides. The leather pads of my paws kept pounding into the ground, flattening the grasses as I ran. Claws dug into the earth. I snarled and snapped, giving voice to my pent-up frustration.


    There was a clear space between groupings of trees. I saw dad looking over from the truck, enjoying the rare sight of me being totally and completely wolf.


    More trees. I didn''t have the desire to shift and play around like I often did at home. Claws make climbing trees so easy. No, these trees were obstacles to thread my way through, cover to hide behind.


    I ran.


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    Some small part of me was wondering at this change. The wolf form was familiar, and yet... This time my senses somehow took in more- more everything. I could picture the smells. Sounds filled in landscape beyond what sight provided. Everything was more except clear thought. I could hear the squirrels, and knew where they were in the trees. I was almost tempted to snap at a bird I''d startled. Even though the scent was faint, I knew it was there. I could almost see instead of just smell the lines of scent trails I came across. I knew, not just that a deer had been there, but how long ago it had passed. I knew every creature in that thin strip of wilderness.


    The run consumed me.


    I was beginning to get winded, panting as I ran. The ground-pounding run had, at some point, become the mile-eating lope, speed without fury.


    The honking of the truck horn had me focusing. There had been only grass and trees, vulnerability and cover. Scents and sounds had been my world; my nose and ears were as valuable as my eyes.


    I had forgotten about the truck.


    I turned my head. Dad''s truck was slowing down and pulling over to the edge. I angled my way over, pacing myself to the truck now as I slowed. I waited for a few vehicles to pass Dad before I moved out into the open. By the time I got to the truck, the passenger door was open with my clothes on the seat.


    Shifting on the side of the now-empty road took a second longer than usual. I had to stop and think about what it meant to be human. I had to focus on long furless fingers, flat useless nails. I quickly pulled on the jeans, if slightly awkwardly. My legs felt wrong; they were too tall, too straight. The shirt went slower over my head. Toes stretched out on the blacktop, trying to remember the feel of shoes. The memory of wolf pads pounding the dirt filled me.


    I looked up at Dad finally, my confusion evident in my gaze. I was going to ask... something. I didn''t even know the right questions at this point. He tossed me a bottle of water.


    "Get in the truck."

 8 Ch 8 Man of a Beas

    Wolf.


    Man.


    The wolf I had just been was more wolf than I had ever been before. I felt confused and disoriented. I glanced at dad as he eased the truck back on the freeway.


    I am man, I knew I was! But...


    My body twitched, even though I had completed my transformation. My clothing felt constrictive. I tried to speak, but the words wouldn''t form.


    Dad nudged the water bottle over until it bumped my thigh. I awkwardly managed to unscrew the top and take a sip. I didn''t trust myself to put the cap back on. My eyes followed my fingers as they moved. It was like I didn''t know my own hand.


    I turned automatically when dad sighed.


    "Open the glove box."


    I pushed the button and the small compartment door popped open. Inside were the usual assortment of papers for the truck, a small first aid bag from which many a bandaid had come from when I was a kid, and the heavy leather pouch dad called his emergency kit.


    I knew what was in it, had seen everything there many times when we went camping. I pulled the bag out now, knowing what he wanted. I slid out the waterproof matches, one of those emergency foil blankets, a flare, and a hunting knife cocooned in an old leather sheath.


    I pulled the knife out, slid everything else back in, closed the pouch, and put it back in the glove box.


    Dad reached out, put one hand on top of mine for a second, before clicking the radio off. We headed down the road in silence for a bit before he finally spoke.


    "What does the wolf want?" He glanced away from the road and at me before continuing. "The wolf wants to live free. It wants to enjoy the sun on its back and the ground beneath its feet. It wants to play. It wants the companionship of family. It wants to hunt and to eat."


    Another look over at me. Dad was grinning and I knew he was thinking of the appetite I had gained with that growth spurt, and how often mom had lovingly teased me about it. Or maybe he was thinking of how I had gotten into some garbage as a wolf pup and had my stomach cramp up with worms. Had to be the absolute grossest thing ever. I learned to be more careful where I stuck my nose after that.


    "When food gets scarce, the wolf doesn''t go on his own so only he can eat what he finds. The wolf isn''t greedy or selfish like men can be. More wolves just as hungry will join him. They know they can overcome their obstacle together. Even if they''ve never worked together before, the wolf knows what to do. Their voices join in the night, until they hear the note they are listening for. When they find prey, they are on the move. Weakness becomes irrelevant. Previous competition becomes irrelevant. To survive they become of one mind and one accord. They become one pack. They fill their need by working together.


    "And even when there is no need at all, there is the wolf''s song. Even if they drift apart, they reconnect with their voices as their howls echo through the night. The wolf wants that connection, needs it."


    He paused again. I knew all this. He knew I knew it. I didn''t understand the point he was driving at.


    "What happens when your human brain shifts into a wolf brain? Hmm? You want what the wolf wants. And the wolf isn''t interested in becoming human. You have to give the wolf a reason to be human, feed its curiosity, its need for family. It needs to know, without a doubt, that survival depends on your human form as well as the wolf form. You need to know it."


    I had never ever, not once, considered my brain shifting like my body. I had always been able to focus, even as a wolf. I thought about it for a second.


    What had I been as a wolf before? It would have been a wolf with a human brain processing wolf information. The wolf accessing parts of the human brain that normally aren''t used. The difference between human brain and wolf brain was the difference between night and day.


    Wolf instinct was like just knowing things, processing the sounds and smells so much more efficiently. The wolf wasn''t stupid though, it could reason to a point. Right now I needed to have a human brain. I double checked myself. Two times two is four, four times four...


    Dad grinned again as I took a shaky breath.


    "So what''s the knife for?" My voice was rough but working. I took another sip of water.


    He looked thoughtful as he drove down the freeway. The turn toward our more local town was just up ahead. He''d glanced at the road sign we''d just passed and I could tell he was debating stopping. I just wanted to go home and curl into a ball, crank some tunes up maybe. No such luck.


    He drove around town, not saying a word. No sound from either of us as he went through our favorite drive-thru and ordered the usual burgers, fries, shakes. He finally stopped at the small park I had played at as a kid. He put the knife back in the glove box and we both just sat there for a moment. Finally he grabbed the food and headed off to the grassy spot where Mom and I had often enjoyed lunch after a morning of play.  Groaning, I slid my sneakers on and followed after him, sitting next to him in an empty expanse of grass.


    "Back when I met your mom...never told you how we met."


    "College," I said, reaching for the food.


    Dad''s quiet smile and slight shake of the head told me I was in for another story. Dad snagged the bag and pulled out some fries.


    "I used to run as a wolf at night. I knew every bush, wall, and alley for blocks around campus. Money was tight for me, so I spent my nights curled up under a bush here or there. I had my stuff cached and the area marked. There wasn''t an animal in the area that would invade an area filled with my wolf scent. Dinner was often squirrels."


    I wrinkled my nose. Squirrel was edible but not my favorite. The burger was better. I tried to picture dad at college while he dug in the bag for his own burger. Somehow dad the wolf and dad the man in college just weren''t meshing in my mind.


    "One night I smelled blood. I tracked it to a girl who was stumbling along. I ran to my cache, grabbed some clothes, ran back to help her. Her clothes were torn. She''d been cut on her arms and stabbed in the leg."


    Dad was quiet for awhile, lost in his memories. I squirmed uncomfortably. He looked over, gave me a sad smile. He shook his head slightly, guessing what I was thinking.


    "It wasn''t your mom... that time. This girl had been raped. I spent the rest of the night trying to track the man-beast who could do such a thing. Lost his trail in traffic."


    Suddenly I didn''t want to hear this story, didn''t want to know events I had been happily ignorant of. Dad''s look was almost indecipherable. Pain, anger, sadness, grief... and a hardness I''d never seen before.


    "It was a few months before I caught his scent again. I wasted no time following it. I caught up to him as he was tracking another girl. He was moments from grabbing her. I had no time to get clothes. I attacked him as a wolf."


    Dad looked over at me. He had a slight grin this time.


    "That was the night I met your mother. And what a meeting," Dad sighed. "She heard the man cuss as I bit him. He tried to kick me. I danced out of the way. I could see the calculating look he sent your mother''s way as he asked her to come help him. I couldn''t let her get near him. I growled to scare her away, then focused on him.


    "I ripped into him at least a dozen times. I kept biting and snapping at him, keeping him pinned in place. He pulled out a knife and tried to slice me every time I went in to attack. The scene went on for at least twenty minutes. Suddenly the guy dropped in pain."


    Another long pause. Dad slurped the last of his shake. I couldn''t take my eyes off him. There was a gentle breeze. I could hear the sound of children laughing, and the creak from swings at the playground. The bright sun contrasted with the darkness of the story.


    "That was the first," and dad looked sharply at me, "and only time I have ever bitten any one, besides your mother. I realized my mistake when that man dropped in pain. I could hear his muscles pop. His body was trying to start to change. Before that, I had no idea that our bite would actually affect anyone. Who believes the stuff in fiction?" He shook his head ruefully. "My family had been born, not bitten. I didn''t know."


    The silence grew as dad contemplated his past before turning to me again.


    "Can you imagine a man like that, being able to become what we are?"


    Dad''s words brought scenarios to my mind that I had never really considered. Bad guy werewolves. How much damage could even one man do, if it was the wrong man who was bitten? The silence got deeper, slightly charged with tension. My lack of comment had him worried.


    "You see, don''t you? Why I couldn''t let him live?"


    The look dad threw me was one filled with the desperate hope that I understood what he was saying, that he had killed a man. I don''t know what look was on my face, but dad reached over to grip my shoulder. He gave a slight nod.


    "I was still wolf. I ripped his throat out. Then I panicked. I knew it couldn''t look like an animal attack. They''d hunt me down and not be satisfied until they found something. I shifted enough to grab the man''s knife, slashed him where every bite mark was, then finally stuck it his throat. I tried to figure if we had struggled as men and I had accidentally stabbed him trying to avoid his knife, just how the slice would have to go. I moved the knife and left it in the body, shifting completely so I would leave fingerprints.


    "I planned on reporting it to the police as self defense. I couldn''t just leave the body there to raise questions. I could only hope I had killed him before any truly noticeable shifting had occurred, and with an obvious cause of death there wouldn''t be any autopsy investigation."


    Another rueful shake of his head.


    "That''s when I heard your mother. She hadn''t left, at least not far. She had seen me as a wolf. She saw me change into a man. Once I focused on her, I could hear her heartbeat practically pounding out of her chest.


    "She was brave, your mother. I wasn''t sure what to do. Before I knew it I had shifted back to wolf, gliding up to her, circling close, brushing against her legs. I stood as a wolf in front of her, taking a protective stance, and growled at the world. Glancing back up at her, I expected to see a terrified girl. She surprised me, dropping down to her knees in front of me, hands on my head, forehead against mine, telling me thank you."


    Dad was tearing up, the memory of mom overwhelming him. He shook his head again.


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    "I told her I had to grab clothes that were nearby, then get the police. She told me she would stay. I ran into the dorms, breathless, hollering for someone to call the police, then hurried back to where your mother was at.


    "She... she had me pull the knife back out and had me cut myself a few times, making some shallow cuts, enough to rip clothes and leave a scratch. She wanted me to put a cut on her as well. I flicked the knife toward her so some blood splattered on her clothes. It would be enough. The knife went back into the man''s neck, with a slightly pull on it to get it wedged into his flesh.


    "We had our stories synchronized by the time the police arrived, a story close enough to the truth. She was a convincing victim. I was considered a hero, saving the campus from a rapist and potential murderer."


    The silence was more comfortable this time. I couldn''t blame him for killing the rapist, considering the circumstances. It was as much self-defense as anything. I wondered if I''d be able to do the same if there was need.


    "I''ve always had a knife on hand ever since, just in case. Plus, if it is a type of venom, maybe it can be cut and sucked out like snakebites. I don''t know. But that''s why the knife. I pray you never have to use it."

 9 Ch 9 Celebrating Life

    The whoops and hollers we could hear had dad smiling as we got out of the truck. When we were close enough to see the bonfire, he laughed and gave me a push to go join my friends. It was the last all-out gathering before school, and probably the last time I would see my friends for a while. I was leaving tomorrow.


    It''s been strange with dad; good, but strange. We had talked, really talked, long into the night after we got home. I asked him all those questions I wasn''t going to ask, heard all the answers I wasn''t sure I needed.


    It didn''t stop there. Early in the mornings it was usually conversations about food and finances, domestic household stuff. Every day after we ran together in the woods, and often during our runs, we''d talk about the wolf. During workouts we talked about fighting and shifting. I found myself motivated to work out with him. I didn''t mind the soreness, or the fact I had more bruises than our workouts had ever given me.


    Our nights were filled with stories of mom, stories of his own father and grandfather, all the little things, family things. He even shared a smoke with me on occasion. Neither of us smoked regularly, just the rare, more social sharing that is part of my people''s heritage. We didn''t fight, not once. It was good. Strange, but good.


    I grinned back at Dad as I headed off to join my friends. I didn''t doubt there would be a fair bit of dancing, and probably a bit of hidden drinking. It''s funny, we''d always felt so puffed up even taking a few swallows of anything alcoholic. Tonight I knew I didn''t need to puff myself up, but I still might enjoy it.


    Everyone hollered out as I joined them. I waved and laughed, feeling better than I had in a long time. I could wish this whole past year had gone like the past week had. Hand shakes, shoulder punches or those leaning in half-hint of a man-hug from the guys, quick kisses and real hugs from some of the girls. There wasn''t anyone here I didn''t know.  And one I knew too well. I headed over to join my cuz.


    Running Elk gave me a long look up and down. I held my arms out and gave a little dancing spin. Coming close I leaned in and whispered, "No tail."


    He gave me a shove, then a second one toward the truck with the coolers in the back of it. There were soda cans, beer cans, two liter bottles, and the ever present solo cups. A couple of older men sat on top of the truck, their legs hanging over the back. I knew when they left a few others would take their turn as the elders watched who got a beer, until the beer was gone.


    I grabbed a can of soda, but Running Elk grabbed a solo cup. He swapped with me as we turned away. Someone came over and splashed something into my cup before waving and taking off with a, "Sorry for the bump," and a grin. Running Elk just wrinkled his nose at me.


    "Last night here Cuz, you need to celebrate."


    I laughed at him, setting me up. I reached over and tapped the small pouch he now wore dangling around his neck, barely hidden beneath his shirt. No words between us. I gave a nod honoring his achievement in gaining a spirit guide. His chest puffed a little. A slight narrowing of his eyes with a half-smile and small nod from him, telling me not to give up on the spirits guiding me. A glance toward the music, then another toward where both our fathers stood with a few other men.


    "Yeah, it''s been good lately. Go figure. Yours?"


    "Keeps watching everything I do. I feel like I''m on lockdown."


    "And yet..." I lifted my solo cup, my eyes laughing.


    Running Elk just looked back, his eyes also laughing. With a bump against my shoulder he headed over to the music.


    I took one more look at Dad, just to catch him watching me. I raised my glass slightly in a silent toast. Thinking of what I had in my pocket, I try not to blush, hiding it in a grin as I saunter over toward the music. After all, you never know.


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    It was a good night. A lot of dancing, a little bit of fooling around with a few girls who wanted to give me a more personal goodbye, nothing too serious. I was careful of my drink, using the tricks dad had taught me during our talks, to make it look like I was drinking more than I was. I saw him on occasion, both as a man, and later in the night as a wolf, then a man again.


    He''d probably patrolled the woods some, maybe just to escape the memory of him and mom dancing. The younger people might start the night dancing, but it was the older ones who would finish it. Mom had always loved to dance.


    There was food, friendship, and family. I gave my aunt a kiss on the cheek while I was getting food, offered to get a drink for Gramma when I noticed hers was low. I swung some of the younger girls around, the ten to twelve year olds that were mostly staying by their immediate family, dancing with them and laughing at their shyness as I made my way around the gathering.


    Grandfather called me over before I could head back over to where my age group was hanging around drinking and dancing. I greeted him fondly. Heck, tonight I was fond of everyone. The feeling of really being a man now gave me the boost of confidence to greet Grandfather as a man and not as a kid.


    He pulled out a long, thin package wrapped in brown paper and tied with string.


    "Put this in your father''s truck for now. Take it with you when you leave tomorrow."


    I only hesitated a second before I gave him a hug. I had a feeling I knew what was in the package. He gripped my upper arm, something men did. I was getting it from all sides these days, and couldn''t get enough of it. Heading over to dad''s truck, I felt like I was never going to stop grinning... until I saw the pocketknife Dad must had set on the passenger seat at some point. I picked it up thoughtfully.


    Wolf. Man. Life. Death. I realized it wasn''t a yin/yang thing, not one or the other, not two halves of the same whole. How do you separate two drops of water once they are in the river? You can''t. Death was an intricate part of life, and life was to be celebrated. The wolf and the man were one. I wasn''t both, I wasn''t one or the other. Merge them together for there was no boundary line between them. I merely was. I was gaining a new appreciation for my new-found sense of balance in life. I pocketed the knife and headed back to the dance.


    I''d only taken a few steps when I made a decision and headed back to the truck. It wasn''t the knife I slid up into the glovebox. It was the boyish impulse I''d pulled out of my sock drawer before we''d left the house. I just hoped I''d remember to pull the small packet back out later before dad found it.

 10 Ch 10 On My Own

    The wind whipped at me as I indulged myself for a few miles. I had taken my helmet off and allowed myself to be as much wolf as I could while controlling the motorcycle. This is the sort of brainless thing dad would chew me out over, and something I''d always dreamt about doing. Right now I couldn''t resist. I had a clear, empty stretch of back road with no parent in sight.


    I couldn''t wait to start my first day of work. I was looking forward to putting my schooling to good use. My new job suited me. There was a large range of chores that the job involved and I''d enjoyed doing most of them at one time or another around the reservation.


    Dealing with the public is something that was also part of the job description. I had worked at the old lava tubes back home and had often done tours there; that''s probably one of the things that helped me get this job. Being a Forest Ranger wasn''t the highest paying or most glamorous job in the world, but it was hard to be a wolf and not appreciate the beauty around us. Making sure it stayed that way was just a natural inclination.


    I pulled over to put the helmet back on when I passed a sign for the upcoming state route, checking again to make sure my stuff was tied down. I planned on camping until I got my first paycheck, saving up my money. I could camp anywhere, and always hunt if I needed to.


    I got to the main ranger station just after lunch, fifteen minutes early. I made sure to park my bike up by the front to discourage people from fingering my stuff. The outer, public area was actually a little busy. There were two men and an older woman behind the counter. The one guy was older, with salt-pepper hair, a thick build, and in a uniform. The other guy was about my age, with short, sandy-blonde hair, a slender build, and in street clothes.


    I walked up to the woman, giving her my best charming, yet polite, smile. I knew it was the older man I needed to talk to, but I wanted to make a good impression with someone I had a feeling was going to be bossing me around whether it was her place to or not.


    "Hi, Rick Wolcott here to see John Slater."


    It was going to take some effort to respond to the name I chose to go by here. My Native American name meant little or youngest wolf and that is what I was called at home. I felt it would be awkward if these people called me Little Wolf. They weren''t family and didn''t know me. My birth certificate read Ulric Wolcott. The name Ulric meant "power of the wolf"  in German, while Wolcott meant "wolf''s cottage." Considering dad''s heritage, both my first and last names made sense. The easiest and most acceptable Americanization of my name was Rick.


    The lady looked up at me, took in my friendly smile, found herself smiling in response before motioning to the swinging door at the side of the counter. A good start in my book.


    The older man motioned me over. The other guy and I followed him to a back storage room where he pulled out uniforms for us. The next few hours were filled with paperwork and orientation. After that, it was a tour of the grounds in a jeep. The other new hire and I didn''t have much of a chance to talk besides short introductions. John kept up a steady monologue about our duties, how we would alternate tasks depending on the season, and the long term schedule of overseeing the park.


    By the time he was done, so was the day. We had lockers, a small variety of tools to go with our uniforms, and a packet of paperwork. John was keeping Derrick, the other new hire, and I on the same schedule as his own at first, so he could supervise and evaluate our performance. He warned us that after a few weeks we might have different hours, depending on when and where we were needed.


    Derrick stopped and gave an admiring whistle when he saw me stop at my bike. My first thought was that I hoped it was the bike he was whistling at and not me. He came over and thankfully it was the bike he was eyeing in appreciation. I grinned up at him.


    "You like?"


    "It''s downright sick."


    His eyes raked over my bike while he circled it. The way he was entranced and staring at it in awe had me laughing.


    "You wanna ask it out?"


    His head jerked up, startled. He looked embarrassed. Taking in my grin, he grinned back. "Think it would say yes?"


    I laughed out loud. I''d liked the vibes and the few comments he''d made throughout the day. I had a feeling he was going to be fun working with.


    "Pity you don''t need a lift."


    His eyes got sly. "Well if you want to drop me off at my car..."


    Derrick left it hanging, looking hopeful. He had been heading to one of the few cars left in the back of the parking lot.


    Regretfully I shook my head.


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    "If you want a twosome with my bike, you gotta use protection," I said innocently, trying not to grin at my innuendo.


    His eyes got wide and he started to choke with laughter.


    I punched his arm lightly. "Dude, get your mind out of the gutter, I meant a helmet. I only have one. Now I''m gonna have to wash the bike or it''s going to feel dirty riding it." I pouted dramatically before suddenly grinning again.


    He laughed. It felt good to start the job with someone it seemed I could be friends with. Of course, I never did have problems making friends. The wolf wanting what it wants? The companionship of the pack? Who knew.


    "If you''re not doing anything tonight, come by my place for a beer. I''ll help you clean it up."


    "You''re just looking for any excuse to put your hands all over..."


    It was my turn to get my arm punched. I laughed again. "I''d love to man. We''ll call it your first supervised date."


    He just groaned, shook his head and headed to his car. It was a goldish, whatever they called that color, Toyota, and looked about ten or fifteen years old. I wondered if it had been his parents.


    I followed him for quite a few miles into the outskirts of a small town. The house he stopped in front of was small and old. The faded, pale blue siding was in desperate need of a paint job. The yard was past the point of needing to be mowed; it probably hadn''t been touched all summer.


    Derrick had gotten out of the car and took in my evaluating gaze before heading into the house. I was quick to follow. There was a small, screened-in front porch. I couldn''t help but think the key he used to unlock the front door could probably be bypassed if you gave the old door a solid shoulder hit.


    The inside was clean though; sparse, but clean. The furniture all looked used but the tv on the wall was new. An Xbox and PlayStation sat beneath it, with games and controllers in labeled boxes. Derrick didn''t miss a thing as he took in my gaze around the room.


    "TV was my first purchase. Then washer, dryer, and fridge. The lawnmower will be my next. I figured since the neighbors had seen it this way all summer, a few more weeks till payday wouldn''t hurt. Cheap rent so I''m not complaining. Where are you staying?"


    Derrick had already headed toward the kitchen, pulling out a few beers. He was trying so hard to sound nonchalant with his question, I was guessing why he really invited me over for a beer. I took the offered beer and opened it before answering.


    "Nowhere yet. I just got in this morning. I figured I''d camp for a few days while I checked out the area. Looks like a quiet neighborhood you got here."


    "It''s decent enough. Mostly older folks and a few young families."


    I looked out the back door. The back yard was decent-sized and had an old shed in the back corner. What caught my eye was the field behind the house. There were a few empty lots back there that were as overgrown as his yard. If I had to guess, the houses that had once been on them had been razed to the ground. I brought enough wolf out to take in the smells. When I caught the faint scent of rabbit. My eyes lit up. I enjoyed rabbit for dinner.


    "Don''t suppose you''re looking for a roommate?"


    My voice stayed calm. Suddenly I wanted to track down the warren of rabbits. My mouth watered at the thought, especially when I spotted the ears of one in the grass beyond the shed. I had skipped lunch and was ready for dinner.


    Derrick gave me an appraising look. I looked back at him, raising one eyebrow slightly.


    "Cool if your not," I said casually. "I shouldn''t be so forward as to push myself on you. I''m good at camping, done it my whole life."


    I was already thinking that if he said no, I might camp close enough tonight to catch a few of those rabbits.


    The answer was yes, of course. We worked out the details over the beer. I told him I''d buy the mower and work on the yard since he got the fridge, washer, and dryer. We split the rent, utilities, cable, and wifi, and I could add a tv later if I wanted to get one for my room. Derrick already had everything in his name, so I would give the money straight to him. We headed back to the kitchen as we divided up the mostly empty cupboard space. He had limited groceries so far.


    Derrick finally went in to shower. The house was so small it only had one bathroom. I stripped and shifted in the kitchen, keeping half an ear open for the sound of running water. I wouldn''t have to worry about him looking out a window while he was in there.


    I gave a cautious look around, nose high to catch scents of anyone outside. Coast looked clear. It was a quick prowl, pounce and I headed back to the house with dinner in my mouth. I dressed quickly, not bothering with the shoes. I left the dead rabbit on the counter while I headed to my bike for my bags. The duffel got dropped inside the empty bedroom. The extra horse-style saddlebags got draped on one of the chairs in the kitchen.


    My only frypan and the bundle of seasonings dad had packed made their way to the stove. The new hunting knife made quick work of the rabbit.


    By the time Derrick was out of the shower, I had the rabbit cooking and the Minute Rice I''d stolen from his cupboard almost finished in one of his saucepans. My small saucepan was on the counter with the remains of the rabbit. I knew enough taxidermy I figured I could make a few rabbit''s foot keychains to eventually sell, and I planned to work the hide. I''d already eaten the innards, which both took the edge off my hunger and had me impatient for the rest.


    "What the hell?"


    Derrick was looking at the saucepan on the counter.


    "Don''t ask," I laughed. "Fringe benefits of having a mighty hunter as a roommate. Hope you like rabbit. And don''t expect me to cook every night."


    Derrick was surprised, to say the least. I was suddenly hearing my dad''s voice echoing in my head, going on about vigilance and caution. Shit. I''d been so careful heading outside, so proud of my caution, I hadn''t thought about the consequences of my hunt. The first day on my own and I already blew it. I aimed for extremely nonchalant.


    "I''d seen one earlier. I was surprised when I threw my hunting knife at it fooling around and managed to hit it. Took it by surprise, I guess. I''m not about to let it go to waste though. I might set a few simple snares later. Rabbit could become a regular thing."


    I grinned at him. Derrick bought the lie, of course, no reason not to. The truth wouldn''t even occur to him.


    "Mighty hunter, huh? I never had rabbit. First time for everything I guess. Smells good at least. And here I was going to splurge on pizza."


    Derrick pulled out a can of veggies and another saucepan. I realized there wasn''t a microwave. I would probably get that too, only fair. Derrick puttered about setting the table. As I set out the food, he pulled two more beers out of the fridge. I wasn''t planning on getting into that habit, but tonight was about socialization and fitting in.


    I definitely would have to be more careful. Dad would be full of I told you so''s when I called him later. I guess he was right about the new challenges I''d face out in the world.

 11 Ch 11 Long Legs

    We took Derrick''s car into town the following night after work; a mower and a microwave weren''t going to fit on my bike. The two of us seemed to be working out well. It didn''t take long before the new microwave was in the back seat and the mower was in the trunk.


    Derrick pulled in at a coffee shop that had some tables outside. "One of my favorite haunts," he grinned. When I ordered a cup of tea, Derrick shook his head. "Real men drink coffee," he teased. The way he ogled the barista gave me an idea of why he liked the place. We sat down and got a bit of background on each other.


    "The one thing I can''t find around here is stuffed flounder," Derrick complained. "I could always find decent seafood in Maryland."


    "I''ll have to catch you some mountain trout. Otherwise, it''s elk for me," I told him.


    "Elk? Don''t tell me- mighty hunters, right?"


    We both laughed as I nodded.


    "You got siblings?" Derrick asked. "I have two younger brothers and a sister. My brothers were happy when I moved out, it meant they each got their own room."


    "Nope, I''m an only child. It''s just me and my dad now though. My mom passed away about a year ago. Big extended family though, lots of cousins. My one aunt goes through husbands faster than some people go through cars. What made you come two-thirds across the country to end up out here?"


    "I did a quick tour with the army right out of high school, working tech. I wasn''t sure what to do when I got out, besides not run home. One of the sergeants said he knew someone who had an opening in his company, so here I am. I''m usually up early to run a few miles. I like to keep myself in shape now that I''m in it. There''s a group I work out with at night."


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    "I run too. Never bothered counting miles." I didn''t tell him I usually ran on four legs, but I couldn''t help thinking it. It was hard not to laugh out loud. "I wrestled in high school and got a partial scholarship for it at the local college. I''ve only seriously worked out with my dad. My dad''s a high school language teacher."


    "Can''t be much of a workout with your dad."


    I almost choked on my tea. If he only knew how Dad and I fought, both on two legs and four.


    He saw my derision at his assumption and took it as a challenge.


    "Why don''t we swing by the gym, see what you have?"


    Derrick''s body language became intense, as he leaned forward and stretching his arms across the table.


    "As long as our friendship doesn''t suffer if I beat you," I said, laughing. "You''re so serious-looking right now."


    I guessed he had an inferiority complex that was only held at bay by proving what a tough guy he could be. His body language and scent were easy to read. I found it easy to counter his attitude by lounging back and staying totally relaxed. It was something I''d always been able to do and one of the things that made me everyone''s friend.


    I broke off from his intense stare to check out a pair of long legs walking behind him. Her perfume was enticing. My eyes followed her as she went into the coffee shop.


    "This just might become my favorite place to hang out too," I told Derrick as I looked around at the fine assortment of ladies that were around us. I gave him a wink, a slight smile playing at the edges of my lips.


    He relaxed, shook his head at me but did his own recon of the area.


    "You ain''t gonna pick up anyone sipping that wussy tea."


    I laughed again, noticing long-legs had come out with her drink. She was on her phone, seated just over my right shoulder. I wanted to get a look at her face. Derrick was relaxed again, so now I could talk about fighting with him without him getting more worked up.


    "That lucky shot with the rabbit had me thinking. I wonder if there''s anyone around who knows anything about knife fighting. What kind of fighting do you do?"


    "Mixed martial arts. One of the guys at the gym might know something about knife fighting. Most of them are ex-military of one kind or another. It, umm, isn''t a regular gym. More private. I probably shouldn''t even have mentioned it." Derrick''s voice faded off.


    "It''s cool. You can ask them if it''s ok for me to come by if you want, but don''t feel obligated to. We can always duke it out in the back yard."


    I threw a few mock punches at the air in front of me then took another sip of my tea.


    He gave me a look like he couldn''t figure me out. By the time he finished his coffee I knew he''d made his decision. I grabbed his empty cup, ignoring the garbage can we would pass on our way out. I walked back into the coffee shop to throw them away.


    I bumped along long-leg''s table on my way back out. I was grabbing her cup even as she was to keep it from falling. Warmth spread through me as our hands touched. I wondered at her ancestry as I took in a face that seemed to have a touch of the orient in it. I was able to look straight into her pretty almond eyes as I apologized.


    "Maybe I would be able to buy you a cup sometime to make up for my clumsiness?" I asked as I gave her my most winning smile. It was the one I''d given to the younger girls I had danced with back home; it was the smile that spoke of acceptance, invited friendship without asking for anything more. The more intimate smiles could come later.


    She gave me a knowing look, suddenly not believing my fortuitous accident.


    "Maybe," she answered with a slight smile.


    "Will you be here tomorrow night?"


    "Maybe."


    She still had a knowing little smile and her eyes narrowed slightly.


    I gave her a slight smiling nod before I walked away. Pushing more would trigger annoyance. I could only hope I''d sparked her interest enough that she would show up tomorrow night.


    I couldn''t wait to get to the car so I could ask Derrick if she was checking me out as I walked away. Teach him to make fun of my tea!

 12 Ch 12 A Sandy Circle

    Derrick was still shaking his head in disbelief at my antics when we pulled up to a regular looking house. There were four cars in the driveway and a few along the street. He gave me a slight grin as he got out of the car.


    "You ready for this?"


    "Sure. You''ve got me curious as to just how good you are." I paused as we walked up to the door. "I''m curious about how good I really am compared to others as well."


    There wasn''t a television or any decorations in the living room, just a few heavy couches and bare walls. The kitchen had a table and one chair. I could hear the sound of a punching bag being used from what used to be a bedroom. Opening my senses up, I could smell hints of blood and disinfectant coming from down the hall. I guessed a first aid station. The whole place smelled of sweat and testosterone. Calling this place a gym was a gross understatement.


    Derrick watched me take the place in.


    "Still want to come in?"


    I just looked at him, considering I was already in. I caught his meaning though. One last chance to back out before we got to where the action happened.


    "Lead the way."


    The wolf in me was ready for a good workout. I almost chanted dad''s litany.


    Vigilance. Caution.


    I could use the wolf, but not enough for anyone to notice. I would have to seriously control myself.


    As we reached the bottom of the stairs leading to the basement, I began to wonder if this was a mistake; and yet, I was honestly ready to truly test myself in a way Derrick wouldn''t understand.


    Our presence got the attention of the six men already in the basement. It wasn''t the biggest guy who stepped forward, though he was bulging with muscle, but what appeared to be the oldest. Not old, just older, maybe early to mid-thirties. He looked at us with narrowed eyes.


    "Derrick?" The question was practically a growl. Authority rolled off the man.


    Derrick hesitated, and in that hesitation, I got a sense of things. Derrick might be out of the military, but he was still under the command of whoever this bodybuilder guy was.


    I walked up to the big guy. My approach changed from simply walking up to the more careful preliminary steps a challenging wolf would do. My eyes evaluated the muscular man in front of me, taking in the military tats. I circled around him, eyes unblinking, arms loose but at the ready, steps light and ready to move in any direction. I made sure he understood that Derrick hadn''t made a mistake in bringing me here.


    He turned with me, recognizing the challenge I was giving him. My eyes didn''t leave him until I was between him and the sandy area where two guys had been fighting when we walked in. All of a sudden I relaxed my pose and grinned.


    "So this is where all the fun happens?"


    I kicked my shoes off as I walked over. Barefoot now, I walked into the center of the area, still grinning.


    The two guys that had been fighting there just looked at me.


    I turned around, slowing taking in the size of the area I had to work with. I made a subtle shift, mostly around my shoulders. In my second slow spin, I moved around, swinging low. I was now behind the two guys, crouched down, one leg out, one fist in the sand, looking up, waiting.


    The guy in charge had one hand on Derrick''s shoulder, stopping him from moving forward. He motioned with his other hand.


    "Henry, Ed, give him what he''s asking for. No weapons."


    Both guys threw a few knives off to the side. I grinned again, ready for them.


    The one guy was built a bit more than me and came straight at me. I had a slight height advantage on him, but not much. As he took a swing at my head, I stepped into his embrace, ducking in under his arm. I latched my arm around his shoulder, lifting my feet to use all of my body weight to throw him off balance. As he stumbled, I swung my feet up over his other shoulder, making the big guy land heavily on his back.


    I turned my own momentum from the fall into a backward somersault that I didn''t quite get to finish. The big guy rolled after his fall and was practically on top of me. In my current position, I was able to bring my knees up, shifting my hips slightly to make my legs come in faster than normal into a position that was more normal for wolf legs. I wasted no time shifting my hips back in time to plant my feet along the bigger man''s hips, using my arms to lift him enough to throw him over me, or so he thought.


    Once he was committed to be thrown, I leveraged my one elbow against the ground, digging it into the sand. Changing my body once again, I altered my hips once more, along with my lower back, to change my center of gravity. My legs automatically came around, helping me roll sideways. With effort I pushed, feeling the sand slide beneath me, barely managing to shove the guy sideways, blocking the other man''s approach.


    The second guy was smaller, wirier but still well-defined, and older. I used my first opponent''s body to help pull myself into a roll with him. I focused for a moment on reverting back to man once the roll was started. Pulling on his shoulders, I leveraged myself up enough to have my right knee dig into his solar plexus. Letting all of my weight push in at that one crucial point, I pivoted myself around on that knee until my other knee was on his throat, my fist swinging into his midriff. His one hand came up to jab at my kidneys while his other hand clawed into my triceps.


    I could hear the approach of the smaller man, who simply plowed into me with no finesse, ramming his shoulder into mine, loosening my hold on his friend. I went with the motion, having been rushed at often enough by my dad.


    The smaller guy and I managed to get to our feet while the first guy took a second to catch his breath. As the bigger man lumbered to his feet, I used my hip to thrust the smaller guy into him, throwing him off balance again.


    The smaller man was quick to recover, stepping toward me. I reached down, blocking the man''s arms with my back and shoulder, while I wrapped my arms around his one leg, bringing it up and sending it over his head, literally flipping him. My toss gave the bigger guy time to come at me, and I managed to spin enough to face him head-on. He caught me slightly off-balance, making it hard for me to execute a move against him.


    While the bigger guy and I still grappled, the smaller one came in to take a swing at my abdomen. I grasped the big guy I was still struggling with, holding tight to his shoulders while moving my body out and bringing my feet up high. My change in position startled the bigger man. Before he could lock me into a bear-hug, I let go of him, pushing off against his chest with my feet, breaking his hold and shoving him back a few steps in the process.


    My movement propelled me into the smaller man taking a swing at me. Falling on top of him, I grabbed him, my hands sliding from the sweat that had broken out along his body, finally locking around his middle, bringing him down with me.


    I rolled clear, feeling the adrenaline rushing through me. Crouching and circling, I put space between me and my antagonists.


    Wolf stare took in their movements, the hint of curved claws dug into the sand.


    I stood up, relaxing my posture, finding humor in the looks the two guys gave me. I hoped their looks were because of my skills and not because they had noticed anything wolffish.


    I figured that was enough of an introduction. I glanced over at the guy in charge. He had let go of Derrick, who was just staring at me.


    "Actually I came to work out with Derrick, if you don''t mind."


    My feet brushed through the small troughs made by my nails on my way over to stand in front of them. Odds are it wouldn''t be noticed, but I wasn''t going to take the risk.


    I was proud of myself. I had only made a few minor shifts adjusting various joints and hips; small adjustments to give me an edge. My body ached slightly in a good way. I''d have to keep working on it, practicing on shifting even smaller areas than I''d ever tried. I''d also have to keep aware of the wolf within me.


    I met the big guy''s stare easily. I was relaxed, waiting, no challenge from me because this was his territory, but no backing down either.


    His look was evaluating, measuring. He finally gave Derrick a little shove.


    "Get in there then."


    I couldn''t resist teasing Derrick as we headed over to the sandy circle.


    "Now I get to pay you back for that wisecrack about my tea. But if you win, I''ll let you take her on an unsupervised date."


    Derrick just gave me a look, suddenly grinning himself. "That''s all the motivation I need to win. But if you win I''ll buy your tea for a month as an apology."


    I laughed out loud, a sound I was sure these walls probably never heard. I was having fun.


    This fight was more fight than wrestling. Derrick was good. He did everything he could to avoid prolonged contact I could use against him, using quick jabs, in and out.


    I had to change my gameplan.


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    I drew on my heritage, both Native American and wolf. I began dancing. Feet pounding, body spinning, almost ignoring Derrick. I moved, ducking, coming up, bringing my fist up with me. After landing the blow, I spun away, circling out instead of in, swinging in, using the speed of my momentum to increase the force of my next blow. Swinging low again, staying low this time, I put my weight on my hands, using my legs to kick his feet out.


    Wolf listened for his breathing.


    He started using every move he knew, his fists darting out, his feet kicking fiercely, but now I was full of wolf hearing, wolf reflexes. Nothing he sent at me connected, many barely sliding against my skin as I twisted my body to avoid him, time and again.


    The wolf danced aside to avoid Derrick''s attacks. The wolf would normally go for legs to cripple its prey. Human arms snapped out instead of wolf jaws. I swung off of his kicking legs, bringing him down. I spun into his punches, jamming my elbow into his side. My moves blended with his moves.


    While I managed to land a few more hits, my blows at this point weren''t very powerful. It was really hard to convince myself to pound into him. The wolf didn''t know anything about punching.


    It became easier and easier to knock his feet out from under him. Every time he tried to kick, I''d work my moves up under his landing or managed to tangle his legs with my arms where I could get him down and wrestle. Every time I got him down, I held him for a three-count before rolling away from him. Derrick stopped trying to kick.


    The big guy finally called a halt to our fight.


    Derrick put his hands on his knees, breathing hard. He was looking up at me in disbelief.


    "What kind of fighting do you call that?"


    Wolf in a man''s body looked back at him. Words. I needed words. Two times two is four, four times four... I didn''t need wolf reflexes right now, I needed a human brain. I needed to speak. I just grinned to give myself time before I could finally get the words out.


    "The kind that gives me a month to hang out with long-legs at that coffee shop," I finally managed to get out, laughing.

 13 Ch 13 An Invitation or Two

    Over the next week I began to settle into a routine of sorts.


    Derrick and I ran a few miles every morning. He never understood my penchant for running barefoot. We didn''t carpool because I spent more time than he did at the coffee shop.


    Derrick spent a few hours at the gym house every night, often coming home so sore I wasn''t sure how he would get through work the next day. I only went three times a week for Ed to teach me about knife fighting.


    Mac, the big guy in charge, kept an eye on me. I could feel his eyes following my movements, watching my practice matches. Mac had something on his mind, he just wouldn''t say what it was.


    I focused on my lessons and learned fast. I didn''t do any more fighting like I did the first day.


    I became familiar with most of the faces of the guys who worked out and practiced there. I was grudgingly tolerated because Mac said so. None of them trusted a new guy showing up out of nowhere. Few actually spoke beyond what was necessary to practice their fighting skills. Derrick wouldn''t talk about it and I didn''t push him. I knew Mac had warned him to shut it.


    I kept watching at the coffee shop for long legs. She was making me suffer. One night I know I missed her by mere minutes, I could smell where she sat. Another night her scent was faint, where she had been there earlier in the day. I wondered where she worked, what hours she kept. I couldn''t hang there all night every night however.


    With Derrick with me all morning, I needed some time in the evenings to practice my shifting and to just run and hunt as a wolf. I became familiar with our neighbors scents and sounds.  The few dogs in the neighborhood were easy to bluff into submission. Rabbits were wising up, using more caution. I kept extra shorts in the shed, and cached a few around the neighborhood, just in case.


    Work was good. We started out tagging trees, checking for deadfall, keeping the unmarked roads used for emergencies clear. I patrolled the campgrounds with John, and became familiar with the terrain. There were times when I was on my own for a bit that I would take advantage of the situation and shift while at work.


    The worst part of my new life away from home was the socks. Dad and I seldom wore them. It was easier to shift, stepping wolf paws out of man shoes. To fit in, I wore socks at work and hated every minute of it. Wolf paws just didn''t wiggle out of socks.


    I did get some of the work-out shorts that some of the guys at the gym favored. Snug, they even stayed on when I shifted to wolf. One hundred and sixty-pound man became a one hundred and sixty-pound wolf. The waist wasn''t so different, just the length and angle of the back legs.


    I practiced what moves I could make comfortably as a wolf wearing shorts. I got used to wearing them so I wouldn''t have to worry about clothes when I shifted. The black shorts blended with my dark fur, making late-night shifting a workable option. The last thing I needed was someone calling the police about a naked pervert hanging around our house if they caught me going in and out of my window.


    Of course a wolf wearing shorts wasn''t suspicious at all, I snorted to myself. It at least gave me options.


    My next payday had me picking up a spare helmet just in case I could talk someone into being a passenger. Derrick was more than willing to be my first test subject when I mentioned going into town.


    "Still hoping your lady love will show up?"


    "I''ll run into her again."


    "I hope not literally, like last time."


    I threw him an irritated look but he just laughed at me. My obsession with long legs over the past few weeks made me easy fodder for his jokes.


    I retaliated with comments about the love affair he had in his dreams with my bike. He jokingly ran his hands over my bike before we got on and headed to the gym.


    Mac was outside when I dropped Derrick off at the gym house. He walked over while Derrick secured the helmet to the back of the bike.


    "Why don''t you come in for a minute?"


    It was less of a request and more of an order. I gave him a look, trying to gage his intentions.


    "Sure, for a moment."


    Mac sent Derrick to the basement before turning to me.


    "Come on, I''ll give you the nickel tour since you haven''t been anywhere other than the basement."


    It wasn''t like the house was large. It was a single story ranch above the basement. What little of the basement I couldn''t see I figured was furnace and water heater. Mac led me down the hall that would have led to bedrooms if this was a family dwelling.


    Each bedroom was devoted to fighting skills. The punching bag I had heard before was in the first bedroom. There were weights in the room as well. Another room had mats on the floor for scrimmages. The third bedroom had one of those things I had only seen in the movies. It had a big wooden contraption with moving parts for hand to hand combat practice. All I could think of was Kung-fu Panda as I gave one of the bars that stuck out a spin.


    Mac used a key to unlock the door at the end of the hall.


    The master bedroom was converted into a mini hospital. Two stainless steel tables, IV stands, bandages, medicines, and a small refrigerator that I could only assume held blood. The only thing missing was a doctor. The curtains were closed, a solid blanket hanging behind them. There were bars on the windows that wouldn''t be seen from the outside.


    Mac closed the door behind him. He didn''t say anything for a bit, measuring my reaction so far.


    Wolf knew how to be patient.


    Finally Mac hopped up on one of the tables. I jumped up across from him. Patient wolf. Mac gave in first.


    "What do you think?"


    "I assume the bars are to keep the medicines safe? Otherwise this room would make a nice little prison."


    "No one comes that doesn''t want to be here."


    The silence drew out again.


    "Do you want to be here? We don''t usually take in charity cases."


    "I never considered myself a charity case. If you don''t want me here all you have to do is say so."


    Mac was having an internal debate, and I had a feeling my response wasn''t making it easy on him.


    "Ed says you''re a good fighter, that you have some natural skills. You could be more involved, only condition around here is you don''t talk to anyone about this place."


    "What did you have in mind?"


    "Let''s start with you swearing you won''t talk to anyone about this place."


    I gave it some serious thought.


    From my first visit I could smell what this house was. This little clinic had been obvious. The odors clinging to basement walls were the odors of a crowd . One sandy pit and one raised and matted ring, plenty of room around both.


    I wondered how much money Mac netted on the fights and how often they happened.


    "I won''t snitch on you," I said with a little grin. "But I''m not sure I''m actually interested in fighting beyond my lessons with Ed."


    "Fair enough. How about you come back tonight and just check it out? Get a feel for the fights, see who you think you could take down. You can work on the side of the fights, help bring the defeated back here. It will be enough to prove to the guys you''re a part of the set up."


    I agreed and Mac walked me out.


    I considered the consequences of my decision as I sipped my tea. I sat at a table against the back wall of the coffee shop. The fighting itself might not be illegal, but gambling on the fights probably was.


    Dad was right. There were challenges to face as a man I had never imagined.


    My nose tingled with a familiar scent. I know my face was covered with a foolish smile as I snuck up behind her, my money out to cover her drink. I laughed out loud as she shrieked when I poked her in the ribs. She was quick to swat my shoulder in ire but she also smiled and joined me at my table with her coffee.


    "It''s good to see you again. Thanks for letting me get your coffee."


    That''s all I could get out. I just kept staring at her, knowing that foolish smile was back on my face. She gave a small laugh as she leaned forward and bopped my nose, making me blink.


    "That''s better," she laughed. "You were staring."


    I grabbed her hand.


    "True, this is better."


    I grinned again, trying to tone it down some when she didn''t pull away.


    "And I don''t even know your name." I put on a sad expression, pouting.


    "Only fair, I don''t know yours either."


    "Little Wolf," I answered promptly.


    She pulled back slightly but I wasn''t going to let her hand go that quickly.


    "That''s what I''m called at home on the reservation." I slid my thumb along her hand. "At work they call me Rick. Ulric Wolcott, Power of the Wolf from the wolf''s cottage, at your service."


    I gave a slight bow from my seated position and brought her hand up to my lips for a quick peck on the back of it. I looked at her over her hand while my head was still lowered.


    Now was the time for one of those more intimate looks. I kept it brief though, letting go of her hand and leaning back to take a sip of my tea.


    She was flustered, her heart beating faster. I felt some stirrings in reaction and took another sip of tea.


    "Your turn." I leaned forward attentively.


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    "Mahina."


    She didn''t offer more and I didn''t insist.


    My phone took that inopportune moment to beep. It was a text from Derrick telling me things were about to start. I scowled in frustration.


    "I have to go." I made no no move to get up. I sat there for a minute just soaking in the sight of her.


    She tapped my hand to distract me. "You don''t seem to be in a hurry."


    "How can I be when I just found out your name? I haven''t been able to get you out of my thoughts. Getting you a simple coffee just isn''t enough. Dinner? I would offer tonight if I hadn''t made a commitment. Are you free tomorrow night?"


    She shook her head no.


    "I work every night next week," she said. "Next Saturday?"


    "It can''t come fast enough. Meet you here at seven?"


    She agreed and I finally got up to leave. I was thrilled when she called out to me after I took a few steps.


    "I''ll be stopping in here around six-thirty Wednesday evening on my break."


    I let that foolish grin take over my face as I nodded and waved bye. I wanted to howl so bad.


    I finally let it out on the road halfway to the gym.

 14 Ch 14 Fight Club

    Oddly there weren''t too many cars around.


    Derrick said the guys met in groups elsewhere and carpooled in. A few of the guys ran taxi service bringing in small groups. Too many cars here would bring too much attention.


    Mac was at the kitchen table setting up the bouts. A bunch of guys were lined up across from him. Mac had a notebook and was scribbling intensely.


    "Go meet the Doc," he hollered to me, barely looking up from his notes.


    The doctor was an older guy about in his fifties. He was going through the inventory of medicines. He had a dozen needles already prepped.


    I wondered what was in them. I wondered why he did this gig. I wondered how much he got paid for his services. I knew better to ask anything as I cleared my throat in the doorway.


    "Hey, I''m your help tonight."


    He turned around and gave me a look I couldn''t decipher.


    "Are you legal?"


    I gave him a confused look.


    "At least tell me you''re twenty-one."


    I wasn''t going to tell him I wasn''t, not when my birthday was so close.


    "I''m legal," I said with a grin.


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    He just shook his head.


    "Why don''t I believe you?"


    He held up his hand stopping any other comments I might make.


    "Let me give you some advice, ok? Don''t fight. Don''t use your real name. Don''t tell anyone where you live. And don''t say anything about whatever you see here. Oh, and don''t bet on the fights. Call me Doc, it''s the only name you''ll get out of me."


    I gave him a serious nod acknowledging his warning.


    "This is how it works, " he continued. "You help the guys up here. No one leaves until I clear them, not the winners, not the losers. That''s one of the rules. Once they''re done here, they can go. They get checked out in the order they finish their fights unless someone needs more urgent care. Anyone unconscious or really bleeding gets bumped to the front of the line.


    "There''s a specially-marked garbage can in the bathroom for anything bloody. If you have to use the facilities, make it quick. That''s where they do a quick wash-down to get rid of any dirt or blood if they have to before they come in here; unless they need to move to the front of the line. A small stack of cheap shorts is there as well.


    "You don''t talk to anyone. You don''t interfere with the fights. It''s these guys'' choice to come here. The fights go as far as they want. No matter how bad it''s looking, you don''t try and stop it. If you can''t take it down there then stay up here. Got it?"


    I nodded. "Got it."


    "Good. Go on down then and wait for my first customers."


    There were probably close to a hundred guys in the basement, and a few women. I raised an eyebrow but didn''t ask. The ring had four guys in it, all wearing safety gear. Eddie was in the sand with another guy ready to start a match. Mac was there.


    "Match ends with first blood. Ready? Go."


    I was fascinated to watch the knife fight. I knew Ed was good, but still. I could tell Ed was holding back. His opponent got a slash on his arm. The guy hissed in pain. Mac clicked his stopwatch, made a note, caught my eye and motioned me over.


    "Take him to Doc. Next."


    Mac wasted no time as he turned back to the sand as another guy stepped up to fight Eddie.


    I led the guy to Doc and watched as the wound was cleaned and Doc was ready to make a few stitches. He looked up at me.


    "What are you still doing here? Get back down there."


    I was startled for a second before I realized he was right. Knife fights would probably only last a few minutes each. After a few trips up and down, I had to help one of the guys from the ring.


    Mac had to holler out to me that the equipment stayed down there. I pulled off the man''s helmet and gloves and found the container where the used mouth guards went. Totally gross.


    "And that''s why they don''t drive themselves here," said Derrick as he showed up to help the guy to one of the couches.  Doc had cleared the fighter for now but wanted to double-check for concussion in a bit.


    The night wore on with groans, cussing, and quiet cheering on occasion. The crowd was oddly low key. I realized this wasn''t a spectator crowd, it was a participant crowd. Most of the guys were intent on the fights, evaluating future competition while waiting for their match.


    I saw a wide variety of fighting; kick-boxing, regular boxing, different martial arts, flat out punching, even some wrestling. Fighters used a variety of weapons: knives, staffs, even one bout with swords. Weapon fights were held in the sand. Hand to hand combat was mostly held in the ring.


    Men came and went. I couldn''t keep track of them all. I don''t know how Mac did.


    The crowd had thinned and the fights grew longer when I caught a smell that threw me totally off guard. I breathed deep after a subtle shift. The odor was as clear as a flashing neon sign.


    There was a wolf in the room somewhere.


    My nails dug into my palms without thought. The wolf part of me surged to the forefront and I struggled to maintain control.


    It had been rough at different times of the night, with the smell of blood and the surges of testosterone. I had stepped outside a few times for breaths of fresh air, but right now I wanted to go deeper into the basement.


    The thought of another wolf was exciting. Mac had to call out to get my attention to help someone up to Doc.


    I hurried the guy upstairs and headed back down as soon as I could.


    Caution. Vigilance.


    It didn''t take long to figure out which one was the wolf. He didn''t seem to notice me. I even wolfed it up as much as I dared as I walked by. If I could smell him he should have been able to smell me. No reaction from him. I was mystified.


    Mac finally called me over and pulled me off to the side.


    "What''s up with you suddenly?"


    "Do you know that guy?"


    "Which one?"


    "The big guy who is dressed like a biker, with tats on his neck."


    Mac looked at me for a second, clearly amused.


    "All the guys that have been through here and that''s the guy you think you can take?" He gave a short laugh. "He hasn''t fought for two years; used to be a regular. Something happened to him. He only shows up now and again."


    "Set up a meeting for me. A private match just him and me after everyone leaves."


    "Rick, that isn''t how things work. No match is private. Witnesses keep things safe for everyone in case something happens, and trust me, sometimes things happen. Bouts here require a certain amount of cash down. I don''t think you have that much. And like I said, he doesn''t fight anymore."


    I kept my eyes on the guy. He must have felt the wolf-stare into his back because he turned around until our eyes met. I gave him a small smile and a nod before turning back to Mac.


    "Ask him. A private meet. No fighting. Two minutes alone. Tell him Little Wolf is asking."


    I didn''t take no for an answer. I left Mac standing there as I headed over to where the last match had ended to help the guys upstairs. I could feel eyes on me. Both of them. I was excited.


    Once I was up with Doc, I asked him how someone could lose their sense of smell. Doc looked at me in amusement.


    "Half these guys can''t smell right. Get into enough fights with enough broken noses, it can affect your sense of smell."


    I nodded and headed back down. Mac said the other wolf had been a regular, lots of fights. If he had stopped fighting two years ago...


    I wondered if the reason was a werewolf bite. It had to be! Which meant someone out there had bitten him. He had been staying as far back from the fights as he could, back against the wall.


    I tried to ignore the man who smelled of the wolf. I was afraid he would take off, but he stayed. If anything he made sure to stay as far from me as he could.


    I saw Mac talk to him a few times. Mac didn''t seem to like the answers he got. Mac shot me a few indecipherable glances but didn''t say anything. I couldn''t wait for the last few fights to end.


    I helped Derrick clean up the basement after the last fighters went up. I wasn''t sure where the guy who smelled of wolf went. I assumed he and Mac were talking somewhere. Doc had finished checking out the last fighter. The last car pulled out. Mac came down with the man he said didn''t fight anymore. The man was trailing behind Mac on the steps.


    "Derrick." Mac motioned him out.


    Derrick threw a look my way before heading upstairs.


    It was just the three of us. I knew Mac wouldn''t be leaving. The other werewolf was holding back, staying by the stairs. I could smell the fear on him and it puzzled me. The guy was easily twice my size. He shouldn''t be afraid of me. I gave him a nice friendly smile as I walked over.


    The other werewolf didn''t take his eyes off me. "Mac said you wanted to meet. Why?" he asked quietly.


    "Mac, can you make sure no one is at the top of the stairs?"


    The second Mac turned around I shifted as much as I could as fast as I could so I could shift back before Mac could see anything. I focused on hands and snout, especially the snout. I shifted back, grinning at the werewolf in front of me. I couldn''t have anticipated his reaction in a million years.


    He dropped to his knees, bowing his head. The word "Royal" barely made it past his lips.


    Mac was turning around to see what had happened. I grabbed the other werewolf and pulled him up. He got to his feet shakily, head still bowed.


    "Stop it," I hissed under my breath.


    He looked at me, startled.


    "I just wanted to say hi. I figured the other bike out there was yours; thought it''d be nice to talk shop for a bit."


    It was lame and I knew it. Mac wouldn''t believe that I had made such a big deal over meeting this guy to chat about a bike. The look Mac gave me confirmed it as he headed back down the steps.


    The other werewolf looked totally confused. He still smelled of fear, but now there was something else I didn''t recognize.


    I was terrified he''d drop to his knees again. He had lowered his head again, exposing his jugular to me. His behavior was so unexpected. Whoever had bitten him must have taught him to behave this way, and it ticked me off. I reached out and touched the man''s arm.


    "You ok? Why don''t we get you some fresh air?"


    I took off upstairs before that guy had a chance to do anything stupid... and before I showed fangs.

 15 Ch 15 Just a Run

    I was frustrated with this wolf''s reaction to me. I tried to keep myself calm. I tried to figure out how to get him alone. I came up blank. Mac actually came to my rescue.


    "I gotta lock up. Don''t go nowhere."


    Mac headed back in to lock up the clinic.


    I looked at Derrick, glad I had parked the bike in the back. I threw him the keys.


    "You wanna bring it around?"


    That gave me the briefest moment alone with the other wolf.


    He spoke before I had a chance. He had dropped to his knees again with head bowed. The stink of fear rolled off him.


    "Forgive me Royal for invading your pack..."


    "What the hell dude," I hissed. "Stand up already and stop that shit. This isn''t my pack. All these guys are human. They don''t know about us. We need to go somewhere and talk. When we do you''re going to explain this crap. Meet me at the gas station by the interstate after we leave here. I gotta take Derrick home first. You better frigging be there when I get there."


    Thankfully he had gotten to his feet by the time Derrick came around the corner of the house. I hoped if he was that scared of me he''d be too scared to stand me up. He didn''t wait for Mac. He got on his bike and was taking off as Mac came out the front door.


    That left me to deal with Mac.


    Mac was ticked and I had no idea what to say. He motioned me back in the house. I proceeded him in. He closed the door behind him. He didn''t say anything this time, standing with his arms crossed against his chest, his back against the front door.


    "I can''t explain to you, not really," I started. "I noticed we had something in common. I pointed it out to him. He reacted... weird. I can''t explain him. I''m sorry if I put you in a position. It''s the first time I''ve met someone else...with the thing we have in common."


    Mac just kept looking at me, waiting for me to go on. I sighed. The one thing I couldn''t tell him was the truth. But I could explain a few things maybe.


    "I know why he stopped fighting two years ago, I think. It''s the same reason I''m not willing to fight in that atmosphere. Someday I hope I can tell you. I''d really like to, but just like your secret here, some things aren''t mine to tell. If I ever get permission to tell you, I will. I''ll understand if you don''t want me around anymore."


    Mac sighed then, running his hand through his short hair. He looked aggravated.


    "He was in the military with me. We''ve been friends forever until he dropped off the face of the earth two years ago. When he did finally stop back by he was nervous and distant, didn''t stay long."


    I could see a hint of the pain in Mac''s eyes on behalf of his friend. He ran his hand though his hair again, trying to control his frustration.


    "He won''t tell me anything. He knows I''d go to hell and back for him. I think he stays away until he can''t stand being away anymore."


    Another pause while Mac thought about what I said, weighing his options. "I don''t mind you being here," Mac finally decided. "You did good tonight overall. I gotta respect you not talking about whatever it is, but if the time comes when you can, I''m the first person you come to. Deal?"


    "Deal."  I had a feeling I was getting off easy.


    Mac motioned me outside so he could lock up. "What''s with the name Little Wolf?"


    "That''s my name back home. Doc said it was better not to use your real name around here."


    "Yeah," Mac looked at me sideways as we headed toward Derrick and my bike, "but why did it freak him out?"


    I just shrugged. That was a question I wanted an answer to myself.


    I didn''t get off the bike when I dropped Derrick off.


    "Should I ask?"


    "No, but Mac and I are good at least. Don''t wait up for me."


    I left Derrick standing in the front yard while I headed to the gas station by the interstate. My mind was going faster than my bike, and I had to remind myself to watch my speed. When I got there I rolled in toward the back of the lot, staying on the bike.


    He was there.


    I motioned for him to follow me as I took off down the interstate. I wanted to be someplace I wouldn''t have to worry about other people. I pulled into a cop turnaround next to some woods. I went in far enough that even if a cop was there, he wouldn''t see the parked bikes.


    Getting off, I stripped to just my jeans. He got off his bike, took off his helmet and jacket, and came before me, dropping to his knees again. I didn''t complain this time.


    "Shift," I commanded.


    I needed answers and the first answer I needed was to know that he really was a werewolf. Even though I could smell the wolf on him, some part of me wanted to verify it. I wanted to see what kind of wolf he was.


    He paled before stripping before me. He kept his eyes down like he was afraid to look at me. His shifting was slow and painful. It took over an hour. I could tell he was biting back screams. He wasn''t completely successful. His groans, whimpers, and finally his bitten back cries filled the night.


    Add this kind of slow and painful shift to the list of things that never occurred to me.


    He was finally full wolf before me. He cowered down until his belly was pushing into the ground. He slowly rolled over, tail curled up against his belly, throat stretched out, eyes closed. He was so terrified at this point that he actually piddled on himself.


    I had sat and watched, still human, feeling mortified and slightly sickened as I watched him become a black and tan colored wolf. I took my hands now, put them on his face, running my hands briefly across his body and neck. I applied enough pressure to get him to roll back over. I brought his head up.


    "Look at me. No," I said as he started to look back down, "keep looking at me. I''m sorry. I wouldn''t have had you shift if I knew it was like that for you. I can assure you that you have nothing to fear from me. It''s obvious that your experience hasn''t been good."


    I sighed, looking around. The median between the freeways was dark. The bikes were out of sight. I smiled down at him. I needed him to relax more. We still had a good 4 hours before fake dawn. Call it three if it was going to take him that long to change back.


    "Will you do me the honor of running with me tonight?"


    He bowed his head down again, tucking it tight against his chest. He sunk to the ground. He still smelled terrified.


    "Watch."


    I grinned as I added my jeans to the rest of my stuff. I started with my feet this time. I counted to myself as I shifted at my top speed. Twenty-two seconds later I gave myself a shake, grinning again.


    I nudged my companion with my nose, giving his face a brief  lick to reassure him. I had my rump in the air, tail high and waving slightly. I swatted him lightly with a front paw, leaping away then leaping back, swatting him again before pouncing away.


    He didn''t move, unsure of what was expected of him. He had no idea how to play.


    I meandered around for awhile before relieving myself on my back tire. I woofed at him and ran a little distance away. I ignored him for awhile as I sniffed around, moving farther and farther away from him. It took a half hour for him to start moving around.


    I remembered that he couldn''t smell. That would seriously limited his experience as a wolf. As he got closer I moved on, picking up speed. He stumbled after me through the woods.


    A clumsy wolf was another thing I had never imagined. He had no idea how to move. His total inexperience made no sense to me. If he''d been bitten two years ago, he should at least have some idea how to move.


    I ghosted for awhile at full speed. He had no chance of keeping up with me. I circled back around, stalking him. He was still blindly running forward. I could smell his panic.


    I purposely rushed him, knocking him off his feet. He yelped, half snarling, teeth bared until he saw me standing a few feet away, wolf laughing.


    He piddled again, sinking down whimpering, head bowing down and tucked in, turned to expose his neck to me.


    I walked over and started to lay next to him, but the smell of his piss was strong. I pushed him forward a bit before pushing him down, laying next to him and resting my head over him protectively.


    We stayed that way for awhile before he finally relaxed just a little. He still smelled of fear.


    I would have spent more time just laying there, but I wasn''t sure how long it would take to get back to the bikes. It wouldn''t take me long by myself. With his nose, I wasn''t even sure he could find the bikes, despite the fact we were still in the median between two strips of road.


    Getting up, I gave myself a good shake. I took a few steps then looked back at him. He got up, but then cowered back down piddling again. I groaned to myself. I marked a tree then pushed him over to the tree. Could I make it any clearer what I wanted him to do? He finally released a long stream, looking somehow embarrassed as he did. Nothing he did made sense.


    I headed back to the bikes at a slow easy loping pace. He managed to keep up with me this time. I got the impression he was pushing himself, panting as he ran.


    I mentally shook my head. He was working twice as hard as he needed to. He had no idea how to lope.  He had no idea how to do anything. We got back to the bikes with no problem.


    I quickly shifted back to human and slid my jeans on. When I turned back around, he was belly up again.


    "Dude, I neither need nor want you to act that way around me. It goes against everything I was taught. It isn''t how wolves act. It''s way too extreme. I told you- you have nothing to fear from me. Just relax dude. It''s cool. Can you shift back?"


    A good forty-five minutes later my companion started reaching for his clothes.


    I watched him, slightly amused, from where I was leaning against my bike. I had never fathomed a wolf that didn''t know how to be a wolf. I had no idea what to make of all this.


    He was moving slowly, his hands shaking. I stopped him before he put his shirt on.


    "Turn around."


    He obliged me, eyes down of course.


    "That''s an unusual tattoo you have there. It goes all the way around. Oh, don''t you dare piddle on yourself again."


    His fear had spiked, combined with shame. He brought one hand up to his neck, fingering it.


    "It''s my collar," he whispered. The smell of shame increased dramatically.


    I was off my bike and stalking in front of him in a second.


    "What!"


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    What kind of man would do that to another?


    I should have controlled my outrage. My outburst had him piddling on himself. Again.


    So frustrating!


    "Finish getting dressed bro, then we''re going to go have that talk!"

 16 Ch 16 What the Wolf Wants

    He followed me back to town. I debated but finally drove to my place. I told him to go clean up in the kitchen while I took a super quick shower. I slid on some jeans and a tee-shirt before I came out.


    He was still in the kitchen.


    I grabbed two of Derrick''s beers and led the way outside. I sat down on the curbing on the far side of the empty lots. As long as we kept our voices down, we should be good.


    "Here bro. It might be wee early in the morning but I think you and I both need this."


    He didn''t say anything as he took it, still not looking directly at me.


    "I want you to know I''m not mad at you or anything. You don''t have any reason to fear me."


    I had a feeling I could say that a hundred times and he would still piddle on himself.


    "Why don''t you start by telling me what a royal is and why you think I am one."


    He took the cap off his beer and took a long draught. He looked like he was about to cry. It was so stupid. This guy was a body builder, well over two hundred fifty pounds, and acted like some sniveling, downtrodden, bullied... just thinking about it ticked me off. No one should be made to feel how this guy was feeling. I couldn''t imagine a life like his.


    "A Royal is born a werewolf. Royals shift faster than bitten wolves. They have more control over their shifts. They can control themselves mid-shift, reversing the shift even."


    His voice was slow and deliberate. He was reciting what he had been taught. He looked straight at the road in front of him. He looked like he was waiting for me to punish him for something.


    I reached over and bumped the bottom of his bottle up, encouraging him to take another drink. I took one of my own.


    "It''s true I was born wolf, but you''re assumptions are wrong. My dad bit my mom. She had no problem shifting and she could control her shifts as good as my dad. Have you ever tried?"


    Terror again. Somebody had done a work on him. I was glad he couldn''t smell my outrage over what had been done to him. I had a feeling that if he could, he wouldn''t be able to do anything but cower and piddle. It was pathetic.


    "It''s all right dude. You don''t have to. You should shift more often though. I''m guessing you don''t shift much. The more you shift the easier it gets."


    "My alpha forbids it."


    Shame again. Damn. He might as well say master. Whoever bit him had him strung up tight.


    I could hear my dad... what the wolf wants. The wolf sure as hell didn''t want to be chained. I tried to stay calm.


    "Forbids?"


    Silence on his part. Too many emotions had him choked up tight.


    "Listen to me. It''s cool. You don''t have to go back to him."


    He was shaking his head, actually crying now. I had opened up a floodgate.


    How long had he been terrified, unable to share his experience with anyone? When was the last time he felt free?


    I really wanted to rip my teeth into this so-called alpha of his. I put an arm on his shoulder, letting him get it out. He tried to get himself under control. I finished my beer while he tried.


    "You mentioned a pack. How many people in this pack of his?"


    "Nine warriors, five omegas including me, three she-wolves last time I was there."


    His voice was little more than a whisper.


    "Tell me what an omega is."


    That got him to look at me in disbelief, if only for a second, before his head hung down again.


    "Bro, I know what an omega is, at least among real wolves. I have a feeling it means something else to you."


    "Servants. Domestics. Failures." A shame-filled whisper again.


    "And does he collar all of them with tats?"


    Silence and tears. I was about to do something stupid like pull rank on him if he didn''t answer me. I knew ordering him to do anything would only hurt whatever rapport I was building with him. I felt bad enough I had commanded him to shift.


    "Just me." The barest of whispers. "The others are not allowed to leave."


    I couldn''t stop the growl that came out of me. I partially shifted; my clawed feet making little grooves in the faded blacktop in front of me as my toes curled.


    One look at my companion brought me back to human. He was face down on the ground, his whole body shaking. I put a hand on his shoulder and he let out a terrified whimper.


    I spoke softly, gently. "Dude, I''m sorry. I told you there is nothing to fear from me. I''m not mad at you. This alpha you speak of is another story. I''m wolf. I''m man and I''m wolf. And I know. The wolf wants to be free. The wolf needs to be free. No one deserves to be caged. The thought of any wolf being caged angers me."


    He took a deep breath, quivering before me.


    "It isn''t you," I reassured him. "I won''t hurt you. I couldn''t. That isn''t how the wolf lives. Come on now. Get your ass up out of the ground. Don''t do that shit with me. You''re a man. You deserve better."


    It took forever but he finally managed some semblance of normalcy. I didn''t push for more conversation.


    "I''m gonna go fix some breakfast. Come on in and eat with me."


    He hesitated, then nodded. I stopped him before we went in the house.


    "You gotta promise me, no more of that crap. No more on the ground, no more on the knees, no more hanging your head down around me. You are a frigging man. My dad would have my hide if he saw you acting like that around me."


    He nodded and I took what I could get.


    I didn''t skimp on breakfast. I was hungry.  I heard Derrick moving around so I cooked for three. Potatoes went in the fry pan first.


    "I can..." he stopped at my look.


    I smiled and pointed to a chair.


    "You''re my guest and I''m not helpless. You want my mom to turn over in her grave? Sit. It''s cool dude. Hmmm. Bro? What do I call you anyway? I know names aren''t always used at the, ah, gym."


    He was silent, conflicted. One hand fingered his tatted collar.


    My hand was clawed around the wooden spoon as I moved the potatoes around. I had a feeling whatever name he was thinking of giving me, whatever name this alpha had given him, was only going to tick me off more.


    "How about I call you Lone Wolf?" I asked, before he could get up the courage to give me a name that would set me off. "It''d be a reminder to you that I can''t see you as part of that... group." Derrick was too close for me to say pack.


    "Hungry?" I asked as Derrick came in the kitchen.


    "Yeah. You''d think you would learn to make coffee first."


    Derrick started a pot while eyeing our guest. Another frypan and the bacon was next. Somehow Derrick and I being domestic was freaking Lone Wolf out.  I mentioned the restroom to him before he piddled again.


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    Derrick wasted no time chewing me out once the guy was out of normal hearing range.


    "What the hell, Rick? You don''t bring people from the gym to the house."


    I managed a small sad smile.


    "I just hope he doesn''t come to the conclusion we''re a couple." I made no attempt to keep my voice down.


    Derrick snorted.


    "Look. I''ll tell you same thing I told Mac. He and I have something in common. For me, it''s the greatest thing ever. For him, it''s been torture. Literally. Do not ask anything more. If I can help him..." I sighed. "I can''t not help him.


    "What he''s been through ticks me off. Seriously ticks me off. I didn''t know I could get angry like this about anything. Guess there''s a lot of things I never really thought about enough to get ticked about them. So he might show up now and then. I might never see him again. Choice is his."


    The topic under discussion was in the doorway.


    "I won''t invade your home again. I can show up at the club when I''m in town." His voice was quiet. Submissive. His head was down so much his chin was against his chest.


    "You''re not invading. I invited," I said, exasperated at his behavior.


    There was progress though. He stayed standing. He struggled to look up. His head only bowed once more before he managed to look up almost like a normal person would. He still couldn''t look either of us in the eyes.


    Derrick took in his beaten personality. It really was that obvious and so totally wrong.


    "It''s cool. I trust Rick''s judgement. You drink coffee? This wuss drinks tea."


    I laughed and gave Derrick a shove.


    "You still owe me a gift card for the coffee shop."


    "Lets see. One coffee, err, tea a week, that''s what, a $12 dollar card? I''ll just give you a ten."


    "Uhhuhhh dude. Twice a week, that''s twenty four, and you''re buying for two so you owe me a fifty dollar gift card."


    "I didn''t say I was buying for two. Wait, did you meet her again?"


    I laughed again, smiling for real, nodding.


    "While drinking pussy t... owww! What the hell?"


    My bob on his shoulder was harder than I meant. Keep it together I told myself. I didn''t apologize though.


    "You are officially not allowed to make fun of my tea anymore, not when I hit a home run while drinking it. Got a date next Saturday."


    "Congrats man, what did you do, step on her foot or something?"


    Derrick was laughing now and I groaned at him.


    "You just don''t appreciate finesse. We''re meeting up, but at some point I might want to borrow your car so you better watch your manners or you''ll never get that unsupervised date."


    Lone Wolf stood there watching us joke around. I caught a look of such longing on his face. What the wolf wants. He needed that connection, a real connection to other people. I smiled at him.


    "Plates are in there. How many eggs you want? Got enough left for three each. Derrick do we even have any bread left for toast?"


    I let him help now, moving around the kitchen with Derrick and I. This time he wasn''t thinking like some damn servant. He moved around as one of the guys. For him, it was nirvana. His hormones still ranged around, fear spiking on occasion, but happy was sneaking its way in there a few times as well.


    I let him go after breakfast. I didn''t dare risk another meltdown. I didn''t know when I would see him again or even if I would. I had a feeling I would though. I think Mac had the right of it. When he couldn''t stand it anymore he would come back around, trying for a taste of what he once knew.


    At least now he knew he had options. He knew there was a better way of living. He knew he didn''t need to be terrified of the wolf within him.


    I still had a list of questions. Why did this alpha let him roam free but not the other omegas? How were the three she-wolves treated? Horribly, I could guess. Why would that alpha need warriors? How often did this guy bite people and how did he go about it? Did Lone Wolf have a choice in the matter? I thought not.


    Biggest question of course was where could I find this alpha asshole.


    I headed to my room to get a few hours sleep. I''d have to wait to find out, which totally sucked.


    I tried to figured how I was going to share my news with dad. He''d be up next weekend for my birthday. And I''d have to desert him for my date.


    I pulled a pillow over my head and groaned.

 17 Ch 17 Dad’s Visi

    I called dad. He was excited when I told him I''d met a wolf. I wondered how excited he''d be after I told him everything about the new wolf.


    I gave him the mile marker to stop at and told him to sniff around, that he''d figure more out that way than I could describe with words. I didn''t want to go into detail over the phone, preferring to fill him in face to face.  I also told him about my date.


    I didn''t tell him about the fight club. I knew it would come up though.


    Work was still good. My sleep wasn''t. I kept an ear open. Any noise had me up. I didn''t know if Lone Wolf would come back and bring company.


    I understood now why you didn''t give out your home address. What if Lone Wolf told his alpha about me? What if the creep came and bit Derrick? I''d never forgive myself.


    I set myself up some rules. If I ever met another werewolf, I wouldn''t let them know where I lived. I''d keep them away from the reservation.


    I lay in the dark while my thoughts ran rampant. Dad was due in early this morning before I left for work. I had the whole weekend with him. My stomach was knotted with stress. I had avoided the beer all week so that he wouldn''t be able to smell it on me. I''d cleaned the house. Laundry was caught up, bedding was fresh, kitchen had groceries.


    My mind kept churning. I was still sickened by the thought of what Lone Wolf must have gone through to get him to the point of piddling on himself like that. I couldn''t imagine treating someone so badly they would get to that point. Dad had warned me. The possibility of bad guy werewolves existed.


    Sleep eluded me. I slipped out the window. I wasn''t in the mood for a run, so I just nosed around the neighborhood.


    I heard dad''s truck before I saw it. I ran over to the road he was on and led him in. It was good to see him smiling. I ran back to my window, shifting even as I went through. I was out the front door as he was getting out of the truck. I laughed at the elk in the back of the truck.


    "Stopped for a snack?"


    "Shut up and help me get it in the house."


    He grabbed the tarp while I went in and moved the kitchen table out of the way. I knew the routine. I helped him spread the tarp on kitchen floor before we went out for the elk. I don''t know how he got it to the truck by himself.


    I pulled out my knife to help. We worked in silence. I thought about bringing up Lone Wolf but figured dad didn''t want to talk about him while Derrick was in the house.


    Dad had brought freezer bags. I hoped Derrick didn''t mind elk. We were going to be eating it for awhile!


    Derrick got as far as the kitchen door as dad was rolling up the hide. The fridge was full of bigger cuts that dad said he would slice down during the day.


    "Oh, coffee, let me put a pot on for you Derrick."


    "Um, I think I''ll grab my coffee out this morning."


    "Mind if I put a pot on for dad? Dad, this is Derrick. Derrick, my dad."


    Dad only nodded. He didn''t think Derrick would appreciate a bloody handshake.


    "Mr. Wolcott."


    "Call me Randall."


    Derrick nodded, didn''t say anything else, still trying to take in the kitchen. The tarp was folded over the pile of bones.


    Dad just grinned at him. "Don''t worry, kitchen will be back to normal soon. And freezer will be full."


    "Mighty hunter, remember?" I said with a grin that matched dad''s.


    I laughed at Derrick''s expression.


    "Um, think you can call Mac and see if it''s ok if I stop by with my dad tonight?"


    "Sure. See you at work."


    Once Derrick was gone, dad had his hand on my arm.


    "We have a lot to talk about. Those woods stunk of fear..."


    "I know," I interrupted him.


    I filled him in on what the guy had told me about royals and omegas. I told him about how the guy I dubbed Lone Wolf had dropped to his knees and repeatedly piddled. I didn''t understand any of it. I gave dad a lot to think about when I headed to work.


    Derrick was full of questions I couldn''t answer, except the elk. That was easy to explain as long as he didn''t ask how dad killed it. He handed me his phone when he had Mac on the line.


    "Hey Mac. Listen, my dad''s in town for the weekend. Is it okay with you if I bring my dad over tonight? He can, uh, tell you more about your friend than I can, and do more to help, I think."


    I could tell he didn''t like it. I think he agreed because of my implied promise that dad could tell him what I had not.


    Derrick and I pulled into our drive together. The truck bed was clean. The hide was rolled in the back of it. There was no sign of my dad. I couldn''t help wondering what he''d done with the bones.


    The kitchen was clean, the freezer was full, and there was a pan of already cooked barbecue tips on the stove top. I grabbed a piece. Dad''s growl came from the kitchen door. Derrick jumped but I laughed. Dad was wearing the shorts from the shed.


    "Potatoes are in the oven keeping warm."


    Dad came in, grabbed the tips from me. It felt good having him here. He snuck in a hug and I didn''t mind leaning against him for a second.


    We worked in relative silence getting dinner ready.


    Derrick seemed a bit uncomfortable seeing Dad in shorts and bare feet and muscles rippling here and there, and I couldn''t blame him. I doubt he''d make fun of my dad being a language teacher again.


    "Dad, Mac gave the ok for you to come with us to the gym. Lone Wolf is an old friend of his. Mac doesn''t know what''s going on with Lone Wolf. The gym isn''t traditional, and Mac just asks that it stays private."


    I focused on the food for a minute so I didn''t have to look at dad. I didn''t want to go into all the stuff I wasn''t telling him. I ate enough, but not so much I''d feel heavy.


    Dad just humphed and asked about my girlfriend. I looked up, grinning stupidly.


    "I saw her for a bit Wednesday during her break. I thought she had a bit of oriental in her, found out she''s Hawaiian."


    "You pack what I bought for you?"


    Mortified! "All good Dad."


    When he started to say something else I actually growled a little. "Dad!"


    Dad just laughed, smirking. I shook my head, sighing deeply.


    Derrick didn''t say anything but I think his estimation of my dad just went up a peg. I was glad when we headed out to the gym, Dad riding behind me.


    Dad was growling before I even had the bike turned off. Yeah, the place stank of testosterone. Since it hadn''t rained all week, the outside odors from the fights still lingered. I didn''t say anything as I took off my helmet and headed in.


    Dad''s muscles were twitching. He left his shoes by the bike. That was not a good sign.


    Mac was in the living room and turned around as we entered. He actually took a step back when he saw my dad. Dad''s muted growl didn''t stop as he paced around the living room, looked down the hall. He stopped his pacing close to the basement door.


    When he turned his head toward me, I knew I was in for it.


    I smiled gently.


    "Mac, you wanna clear the basement please and make sure my dad and I aren''t disturbed while we, uh, work out?"


    Human and wolf fought in my dad''s eyes. He didn''t take his eyes off me as Mac did as I asked. I led the way downstairs. Mac came down with us but went back up when dad and I just stood there. I could hear Mac at the top of the stairs behind the door.


    "I only fought once, with Derrick. I''ve been working on more minor shifts..."


    It was all I got out before getting tackled by Dad.


    The fight in the woods was nothing compared to this. We had the whole basement. We fought as wolves, biting and clawing. We fought as men, kicking and punching. We fought using a thousand variations in between.


    Like my first run as full wolf, we fought until the fury was gone. We fought until there was no fight left. We fought until all we could do was just blearily look at each other.


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    I did have to wonder what Mac thought about any sounds he heard.


    Dad came over finally, and like that time in the kitchen, pulled my head forward until our foreheads leaned against each other.


    "Tell me one thing that makes you risking yourself here worth it."


    "I''m learning how to fight with a knife," I said quietly.


    He knew why. Tears formed in his eyes but didn''t fall. He nodded as he pulled away.


    "Promise me you won''t do anything stupid."


    "Stupider than I''ve already been?"


    "At least you know it!"


    He gave my shoulder a short jab.


    I smiled back at him. I was sore, bleeding in a few spots, knew I''d sport an assortment of bruises by morning. All I felt though was how much I loved him.


    He turned me around to look at my upper arm.


    "That might need a stitch or two, I scratched you deep."


    "Mac has what we need. How''s your leg? I didn''t mean to catch you with my fang. Oh, there''s a shower and spare shorts too."


    "Hm. I''ll live. So, this other wolf was here?"


    "Mac runs a fight club now and again. I don''t know how often. It''s only run once since I''ve been here. Not like I''ve been around all that long. He doesn''t let anyone leave without getting a once-over by a doctor; one of the things that makes me respect him. I just helped the guys up the stairs after the fights."


    Dad nodded, eyeing the roped ring, his fingers brushing the stone walls where the wolf had been.


    "The wolf didn''t show up till the end of the night," I continued. "He only watched. Mac said he hadn''t fought for two years. I already know better than to actually fight with anyone here."


    "You said you fought Derrick once?"


    "Wolf in a man''s body. Just practice when hardly anyone was here. I learned a lot. I''ve been working on it since then; minor shifting."


    "I could wish you wouldn''t push being all wolf brain like that without someone around to help you focus if you need it. It can be easy to lose yourself in the wolf."


    I only nodded.


    Dad pushed me toward the stairs.


    Once again I felt good; wore out but good. I still didn''t understand fighting with dad this way, but I had been ready for it this time.


    We pushed the door open, bumping Mac out of the way. He just looked at us, his eyes going over the damage on our flesh.


    I had to admit, I gave as good as I got, which had me grinning.


    No one else was in the living room. I could hear the bedrooms being used. Dad headed over to one of the couches, plopping down heavily.


    "My son says you have what''s needed for stitches?"


    Again Mac just looked, but he pulled out his keys.


    I got the antiseptic, needle and thread, took it out to dad. He only pointed with his chin, which had me heading in for a quick shower.


    Dad put two stitches in my arm, and I put a few in his leg where my tooth had snagged him. At Mac''s questioning look I explained our odd skill. I wasn''t about to explain how we had cut each other with no weapons.


    "Mom was a vet, don''t know how often we helped her out. I''ve been doing stitches since I was, what, eleven?"


    Dad nodded, scenting the air to make sure we were alone before he patted the couch next to him, inviting Mac to sit while I put the stuff away. Mac didn''t sit down until after I brought the keys back.


    "Tell me about your friend," Dad said.


    "Tell me why you think you can help him."


    "I''m not sure you can handle why."


    That ticked Mac off and had him on his feet.


    I came over putting my hand on Mac''s shoulder. He shrugged me off.


    Dad gave Mac a long measuring look.


    "Son, stand at the door while Mac and I go to the basement."

 18 Ch 18 The Wolf Shows Ou

    I stood waiting. Ed must have heard us talking because he came out of one of the rooms with Derrick. He rapped on the other doors as he came, and the other guys worked their way to the living room.


    The basement door flung open. I was glad I wasn''t blocking it like Mac had been.


    Mac literally shoved me out of the way, ran out the front door, and heaved into the bushes there. It didn''t look like he was in a hurry to leave them. A second round of Mac throwing up in the bushes had all of the guys exchanging looks between Mac and me and Dad, who had finally come up from the basement.


    I threw Dad a questioning look.


    He shrugged. "I took my time. Maybe I should have gone faster."


    I shrugged back and grinned.


    I don''t know how many times while watching a movie Mom, he and I would shift. One hand, one foot, full shift starting in different areas of the body. It had been like a game of follow the leader, each of us matching the other''s shifts. Control of the shift was something he had drilled into me.


    "At least Running Elk was able to hold it."


    Dad threw me an indecipherable look and took up a spot on the one couch waiting for Mac to come back in. I opted for the floor close to dad, sitting cross legged across from the guys and ready for whatever happened next.


    A very peaked looking Mac finally came back in. He went straight to the kitchen, banged all the cupboards around, cussed, and finally poured himself a glass of water. He stood in the kitchen doorway for a minute chugging it down. He turned around, slamming the glass on the kitchen table, before coming to sit on the couch across from dad.


    "Tell me I did not just see that."


    Dad shook his head gently.


    "My father walked out of the Black Forest. I can''t really tell you more than that."


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    "You ever..."


    Dad took a guess at what he meant. He looked thoughtfully at the small group of men standing off to the side before looking back to Mac.


    "Twice. The first time by accident. The man was a rapist hunting on the college campus where I met his mother. We fought, he died. Second time was his mother, at her request. She was beautiful..."


    I chuckled a bit when the silence drew out and Mac got uncomfortable.


    "Dad gets to thinking about Mom and he zones out a bit sometimes. Mom was awesome."


    Dad and I shared a smile. After another moment Mac cleared his throat.


    "You think that''s what happened..."


    He couldn''t finish it. He headed to the bushes for a third heave. When he got back as far as standing in the front doorway, I answered his question.


    "Without a doubt. Shitty ass handling of it too. Owww!"


    Dad had thunked me on the head. "Watch your language."


    "Yes sir." How else can you answer your dad?


    Dad motioned to the spot Mac had been sitting and waited until Mac sat down.


    "This is how this is going to work. For now, it stays between you, me, and Little Wolf. You do not speak of it to your men."


    Mac started to say something and dad''s look hardened.


    "No. You listen!"


    Dad''s voice held a touch of a growl. His eyes on Mac were a hard wolf''s stare. He leaned forward slightly.


    "I am The Black Wolf. I tell you, the wolf protects its own. You think you watch over your little establishment here? You cannot compare with me protecting my own.


    "Your friend? You can''t understand. You can''t help, not with that. You haven''t thought through the ramifications. I have spent my life thinking of nothing else. You haven''t considered the possible different scenarios. I have. You want to walk in my world big man? Come back down to the basement again with me if you dare."


    Wow! Who knew my dad was such a bad ass? His tone had been challenging. He didn''t let up his stare the whole time. Mac was sweating bullets, literally. Big drops of sweat fell off him.


    "We do black ops."


    "Mac!"


    Some of the guys were surprised that Mac blurted that out, spilling the beans about what they do. Honestly though, I wasn''t surprised. Almost all of the fighters were really, really good. Most seemed to have military tats of one kind or another.


    "Shut it!" Mac barely looked at the guys before focusing on my dad. "We run certain types of gigs, usually overseas. We have different teams we swap out between. I was considering recruiting your son. I won''t."


    Dad sat back and smiled, arms stretched out along the back of the couch.


    "Little Wolf is his own man. The decision is his to make, not mine. Mac, believe me that for now, are you listening? For now, it is better not to say anything. In time," Dad paused, "perhaps. Tell your friend.. no, that won''t work. He''d never find The Pointe with his handicap. Little Wolf?"


    "He needs... tell Lone Wolf to work on endurance and coordination. He''ll know what I mean."


    "Seriously? You''re calling him Lone Wolf?" Mac asked with this incredulous look on his face.


    "There''s a reason. He didn''t give me anything to call him," I said grinning. "Why not keep to a wolf theme? You just call him Lone Wolf. He''ll understand. Tell him you met my dad, who''s willing to help, but you should act confused about helping on what; after all, he didn''t tell you. If he wants, we can set up a meet. We can let you know roughly where the pointe is. He might be able to find it."


    I turned to Dad, considering.


    "As much noise as he makes, you''d hear him if he was anywhere around. Any weekend should be a good time?" I asked Dad.


    Dad nodded and I continued.


    "Tell him I said he''s got to double down on what I asked of him when he meets my dad."


    "What did you ask of him?" asked Dad.


    I got up and whispered in Dad''s ear about the kneeling and... he waved me off.


    "Triple down. He comes to me acting like that and I''ll knock him into tomorrow. You can tell him I said so."


    "And that''s suppose to gain his confidence so he''ll trust you to help? Threatening to knock him out?"


    I laughed, as much as the looks on the guys faces that Mac just accepted the fact dad would be able to knock his friend out, as at Mac''s derisive tone.


    Dad did that thing where he points at you with steepled fingers. At least this time he was pointing at Mac.


    "I told you. You can''t understand the circumstances he''s in. The ramifications..."


    Dad shook his head.


    "Mac, before this is over I have a feeling I''m going to need the help of you and your men. I will try, I swear, I will give my life trying to keep them safe. I can''t guarantee it. You want your friend out? I swear to you I want it even more.


    "There is an obvious wrongness where he''s at. Until we know what kind of situation we''re dealing with," another pause while dad shook his head. "I don''t have enough information yet to know what we need to do in order to deal with it.


    "You lead your men. Think about the danger you would be leading them into this time. They think they would follow you anywhere. Are you willing to lead them there? Are you willing to take that risk for them?


    "You need time to think about it, really think about it, and come to grips with with whatever decision you make. You aren''t a coward if you say no. You aren''t a hero if you say yes. This life isn''t for everyone. I don''t think your friend was given a choice."


    Dad stood up. I followed him to the door. He stopped before going out.


    "Mac, Little Wolf and I will stop by in the morning after breakfast; do a bit of wrestling on your mat, if you don''t mind. Come son."


    As we put on the helmets I couldn''t resist whispering in Dad''s ear.


    "Badass daddy werewolf!"


    It got me a thwack across the shoulders but it was worth it.


    We headed back to my house. I had more questions, ones I had never thought about. What had it been like to train Mom, to train me?


    We talked about what we might find with these other werewolves. We talked about how Lone Wolf could have gotten to such a state of almost constant terror. There wasn''t too much we could actually plan until we knew more.


    We finally headed to bed. There still wasn''t any sign of Derrick.


    Saturday morning came, and still no Derrick.


    Dad and I went for a run as wolves, hunted rabbit for breakfast. We spent hours together as wolves. It felt good being with him. I didn''t realize how much I had missed it.


    It was around nine in the morning when we headed to the gym. Dad insisted we take my bike again. I was beginning to wonder if Dad would end up getting a bike of his own.


    I was kinda hesitant going in. There was a new dynamic now in my relationship with the guys. I wasn''t some potential recruit to them anymore, I was an unknown. Mac''s reaction to my dad had them on edge.


    Mac himself was passed out on one of the couches. There were three bottles of vodka on the floor in front of him. Two were empty, the third mostly full.


    The guys were hanging around keeping watch over Mac.


    I could see the question churning in each of their minds. What was it about my dad, and by association me, that had Mac of all people get so off-balanced and afraid, looking half whipped?


    It was as if my dad had some sort of authority over Mac.


    They were warriors, mercenaries, unafraid. Mac had acted like a raw recruit getting caught at something by a general, spilling the beans without a thought.


    It gave me an insight into how Lone Wolf might have gotten so pathetic. Some werewolf out there was using what he was to purposely terrify people into obeying him. How much terror, and how long being terrified? How much of a power trip did someone have to be on to do that to someone else? How could they ignore the wolf within? The thought of it still angered me.


    Dad nudged my arm and we made our way to the basement.


    A few of the guys followed us down. Ed walked over, watched as Dad and I stripped down to just pants. A few of the guys were sitting on the steps. Derrick stood halfway between Ed and the other guys. Apparently Ed was the spokesman.


    "Mac doesn''t drink."


    Long pause. Neither dad or I said anything.


    "Mac hasn''t touched a drop in a long time, until last night."


    Dad answered him. "I''m glad he has such good friends to watch over him. He''ll be fine."


    Dad ignored Ed then, and focused on me. I didn''t know what else to do. When Dad came at me, I had no choice but to start wrestling with him. I was the better wrestler, he was the better overall fighter. Like most of our practice matches, there were the occasional comments about strategy and moves. We always tried different things to work around different positions.


    Mac came down finally, sat on one of the bottom steps, and watched us. I could smell the vodka in him even from the ring. He held the third bottle.


    Dad asked about muscle movement. I started using the subtle muscle shifts I had told him about. Our conversation became a list of muscles and joints. If Mac knew what we were talking about, he gave no sign.


    Suddenly Dad straightened up.


    "Mac, how about having a round with me, see if I can put what this young pup has been going on about to actual use against somebody."


    I was surprised when Mac came lumbering over. Eddie tried to take the bottle from him but Mac wasn''t having it. I don''t know where Mac''s mind was when he set the bottle on the edge of the mat and climbed in the ring.


    I moved myself outside the ring, staying by the edge. I tried to place myself where I would block most of the guys'' view of the ring. Dad had a tendency to shift his feet slightly for extra leverage power, digging claws in.


    I became coach for dad then, calling out muscles to shift, calling out his feet the one time I noticed a twitch there.


    When Mac had him in a good hold on the mat, I called out hip, shoulder and elbow. The twist that would result from that shift should throw Mac off balance just a smidgen, enough for a good wrestler to take advantage of it.


    Dad managed it, but Mac''s bulk made for a lot of weight. Once the hold was broken, Dad stood with his back to the guys. He rotated his shoulder with a growl. I could hear the shift. He partially shifted back and forth a few more times, enough to test his shoulder, then back to totally human before he turned around.


    "Enough. I''m going to have to work on that one." Dad rotated his shoulder normally. "That''s going to be sore for a bit."


    He came down off the mat, leaving Mac standing up there. Dad came over to me, put his hands on my shoulder. No words needed. I shifted the joint.


    "Hmm. That was only about half what I did."


    "Yeah, more than that would have things at the wrong angle."


    Dad just looked at me. He had done what I said. I hadn''t mentioned at what point to stop.


    "Sorry, still working on it myself."


    "Got any of your aunt''s salve?"


    "Yeah, in my saddlebags," I answered him, then turned quick to Mac. "Uh-uh, nope!" I grabbed Mac''s bottle before he could grab it. "I have something better."


    If looks could kill, Mac would have glared me to death.

 19 Ch 19 Wolf in the Smoke

    I knew dad disapproved of me grabbing Mac''s bottle. Dad''s philosophy, understandably, was one of choice. Mac stood in the doorway and looked like he''d like to tear into me.


    I had a feeling it was my dad standing at his shoulder that kept Mac in place. He didn''t need to worry though, either of them. I''ll give the bottle back in a minute.


    I dug through my saddlebags to pull out auntie''s jar of salve. I set it on the bike''s seat. Auntie was a great herbalist and used a combination of essential oils that helped with aches and bruises. Then I dug in deeper.


    I pulled out the brown paper-wrapped package that Grandfather had given me. It was time.


    I heard Dad''s sudden indrawn breath. He nudged his way past Mac, but stopped after a few steps.


    "You''ll need a fire."


    Dad came over, took the box of wooden matches from me, and headed toward the back yard.


    I looked at Mac, holding out his bottle to him. He came over slowly. I could tell he was thinking about asking, but my dad''s reaction to the package in my hands had Mac hesitating. I closed up the saddlebags.


    "Mac, among my mother''s people, well, it''s probably different than you''re used to. Just bear with me. This is my first time using it. Come on."


    I could smell the fire from the backyard, even though there wasn''t hardly any smoke.


    The guys followed me back. Curiosity won over any attitude they might still have.


    I went to the far side of the small fire Dad had started. I sat cross legged, motioning for Mac to sit. Dad sat an arms length away on my left. Mac awkwardly attempted a cross legged position.


    "Sit however Mac, doesn''t matter."


    There was a certain amount of reverence to my motions as I unwrapped my gift. The paper got fed to the fire. I beheld a long leather pouch, the beadwork showing a wolf''s head. I gently untied the pouch, opened the flap, and slid out the contents.


    I brought the small pouch of tobacco and herbs that grandfather had included with my gift to the center of my lap. I had to take a moment to just enjoy looking at the workmanship on the formal pipe.


    The beauty of the pipe captivated me. It had an antler bowl instead of a stone one. The dark stem held the hint of wolves; they were partially carved, with burnt engravings highlighting the images into the wooden stem, taking advantage of the wood grain. The images of wolves could only partially be made out, as if they were hidden by the very smoke that would come out of the pipe.


    I knew the stem had been carved by my mother. Looking at dad, I saw tears streaming down his face. Apparently this was his first time seeing the formal pipe.


    Mom''s craftsmanship with her bowls and cups had been famous, locally at least. I wonder when she made it, how long grandfather had saved it. My fingers brushed against the antler bowl, remembering my first major kill as a wolf. I knew where the piece of antler had come from.


    I opened the smaller pouch, pulled out enough tobacco to fill the pipe. There is a ceremony among my people; prayers offered east, south, west, north, toward the ground below and the firmament above.


    I took enough puffs to start it, drawing the smoke in. It was as if I could feel the smoke dancing and swirling within me. This wasn''t just a casual smoke. This was a pipe ceremony. I had mostly only watched, participated in just a few. I had never started one myself, but I knew how it went.


    I went through the steps of the ceremony, giving considerate thought to every word spoken in my mother''s native tongue.


    For the first time, I truly prayed to the spirits, to the Great Father, Creator of life. Peace for my friend who was drawn to the bottle to drown his pain. Peace for my father who still so profoundly felt the absence of my mother. Peace for those wolves out there who had the wolf forced upon them and knew nothing of what they truly were. Peace for myself, not knowing where this journey would take me.


    The official part of the ceremony done, I paused, cleared my lungs of all smoke.


    Smoke in, I held it. I let it absorb all of my insecurities, all my doubts and fears. I blew it all out. My eyes were closed, but I could see the smoke gather like a mist in front of me. A second puff, drawing in strength, hope. I let it fill me; then sent it out to share it with those willing to accept it.


    I opened my eyes then. It was only Mac and my dad by the fire. The other guys were standing back. That was ok.


    A third draw, eyes closing again. The gathering mist behind my eyelids swirled. There was the hint of a shape solidifying within the billowing smoke.


    I opened my eyes, releasing the smoke. I passed the pipe to dad.


    Not a word said after the formal prayers, not yet.


    I could see Dad; it was like two images superimposed. I saw Dad the man, holding onto the pipe. I saw Dad the wolf, with a wolffish grin, sitting on his haunches.


    The fire was low. I had the pipe back in my hand. Dad was up, getting more wood, directing Mac''s men.


    Mac. He sat there, looking at me. I drew smoke in. It felt like I drew in something from Mac. I could see the brokenness within him. The image of a fist, a drunken fist, coming down on someone.


    My hand found its way to his arm, sharing his grief. I handed him the pipe.


    Mac looked at it for a second. He set his bottle down next to him, took the pipe, took a short draw.


    "Again. Deeper this time."


    Mac obeyed, drawing deeper on the pipe this time. My mind follow the smoke, watching it draw from Mac what it could, pulling some of his angst out as the smoke left his body. Mac handed me the pipe.


    I looked at it again. It truly was a thing of beauty.


    What made it beautiful?


    The question was asked of me. The design, I thought, the carvings. It was an ingenious use of carving. I could appreciate the artistry. It''s artistry wasn''t what made it beautiful.


    The answer was in the ceremony that was a connection to an ancient past. It was the connection to my mother''s people, even here.


    It was how the smoke went beyond the pipe, the way life flowed into the future. It was the movement of the smoke becoming one with the world, the way song of the wolf became one with the sky.


    It was life, the ember in the bowl burning bright. It was death, that glimmer of life contained to this small space. The wolf knew both to be essential.


    Smoke in. I closed my eyes, mist swirling. Eyes looking at me. Grey eyes, grey fur. Hints of blacks, browns, and reds in that fur. Bright grey eyes laughed at me. I grinned back. Smoke out, like a song that spread across the sky.


    I passed the pipe to dad. I actually heard wolf song in his exhaled smoke. My eyes closed. I heard dad pass the pipe to Mac.


    Grey Spirit Wolf was running, smoke spinning, the world moving beneath his feet. Life sprung from the ground below his paws. Death came with the snapping of his jaws.


    The pipe was in my hands. Smoke in. Wolves. Some real, forever limited to four legs. Others...


    I saw a white Arctic wolf, her attention was drawn to me. An old grey, looking at me knowingly.


    A vast forest, an old black wolf running shoulder to shoulder with a strong young black wolf who was broad in the shoulder. Their pack ran behind them.


    Smoke out. I passed the pipe to Mac. I saw him draw smoke in. As he released it, I released my song.


    A howl shook the small yard. It wasn''t my usual short howl. This was a notice to all those wolves out there that a new wolf walked among them.


    I saw a startled wolf, so lonely it broke my heart, yet he was scared of being found. A small family, I saw their welcoming smile. A young girl, almost a woman, her eyes lighting up with excitement. The Arctic wolf nodded acknowledgment. The old grey laughed with glee.


    In the depth of a city, one wolf turned in fear. I could almost smell the sickness within him, a festering black cloud. Near him, a young wolf, listening with hope, struggling to find his courage. Lone Wolf stood near him, blocking the way to a small pack I could barely make out.


    And across the world, on the old stone steps of a long-forgotten monastery, the old black wolf listened, heard my song, let loose his own call, probing, questioning, doubting what he heard.


    Dad had the pipe, had taken in smoke, heard that call. How could he not? The sky belonged to all wolves. Smoke out, one with the world.


    The pipe was in my hands.


    Dad threw his head back and answered that call. His long howl sang of the blood bond, the life that flowed from his past out of his father and grandfather, to his future in me. I wondered if he saw my uncle and cousins, wolves in that ancient forest. My song joined with his. Our song on this side of the river was incomplete, the absence of my mother''s voice was obvious to me.


    Smoke in, grey eyes questioning me.


    Who are you? What are these wolves to you?


    Smoke out. Who am I? It was a question I had asked myself. What were those wolves I had seen, from the white Arctic wolf to my black-furred cousins, to me? Family. Brothers. One and all. The connection could not be denied.


    The spirit wolf that lived in the swirling grey mist nodded, smiled.


    Brother-to-All-Wolves, he said, you will know when it is time.


    Smoke in, I opened my eyes. The fire, which had gotten bigger, was dying down some. The tobacco in the bowl was almost spent. Smoke out. I passed the pipe to Mac.


    Mac fingered it, hesitating.


    "Mac?"


    He looked at me, startled, almost guilty. I smiled at him, a soft gentle smile. Mac was mine, whether he knew it or not, part of my pack, no matter that he was human.


    "How long before Lone Wolf comes around again?"


    "A day, a week, a month... I don''t know."


    "There''s a reason he stays gone. He has a job to do. Guard? Protector? He keeps them safe."


    Mac was obviously startled.


    "He told you..."


    "No. I saw him, just now. He''s doing his job, remaining true to himself, taking abuse he shouldn''t have to so others stay safe. He''s protecting them, shielding them from what would stalk them, and it''s breaking him.


    "But you... The wolf knows how to wait for what it wants. You will have to be patient. One choice was denied him. The choice to accept help will have to be his.


    "Give him time, and know that it will take time. More than one visit, more than two. That might mean months. I''ll be here. Dad will be available. It will just take time."


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    Mac knew what I said made sense. Months. You could see the pain of waiting that long in him, especially now that he had some sort of answer to what had happened to his friend.


    I motioned toward the pipe.


    Mac had a wide range of emotions running through him. He looked like he was about to break down himself. He took a draw, drew the smoke in deep. His breath, when he released it, was the beginning of a sob.


    I took the pipe.


    There was no sound from anyone but Mac as the guys stood back and listened as Mac finally, after how many years, released at least some of the pain within him.

 20 Ch 20 Date Nigh

    "Dad!"


    Derrick snickered as Dad fussed over me.


    "It''s a date, not the prom! You weren''t this bad when I went to prom!"


    "That''s because your mother got to fuss then. Hold still."


    I tolerated his tugs on my shirt and his hand through my hair, knowing he thought Mom would do such things. I finally met with his approval, except for the one question he just had to go and ask.


    "Did you grab some of the..."


    I rushed out the front door, then had to go back in to grab my keys out of his hand. Derrick was busting a gut laughing. I didn''t bother risking any more of my dignity with a single word.


    I was glad Derrick had loosened up with my dad. When I went to put my pipe away after the smoke with Mac, the guys had respectfully parted for me. Mac was poring the third bottle into the ground. I had urged them to go to Mac. Let them blame his crying on the previous two bottles of booze if they wanted to save some sort of face, I didn''t care.


    By the time I was rubbing some of Auntie''s salve into dad''s shoulder, Mac had come around front. The big man had grabbed me into a bear hug and all I could do was hug him back while hoping he didn''t bust my ribs.


    No words, none needed.


    Derrick got home in time to watch my final preparations for my date, asking my dad if he''d ever played some of the games on the PlayStation.


    I laughed to myself as I drove down the road. I had barely played any video games myself, and that was always at a friend''s house. The retelling of game night was going to be interesting. I bet I would hear two different stories of how the night went.


    I pulled into the coffee shop and sat on the bike for a minute looking for her. She ended up pulling in behind me. I couldn''t take my eyes off her as she got out of her car.


    "Somehow I don''t think you want to head out on my bike wearing that. Is it ok if we go in your car together or do you want me to drive my bike?"


    Her royal blue dress was tight around her thighs. There were two straps on one shoulder, one strap that came around her neck and joined them. The straps looked connected by some sort of crystal broach. Her other shoulder was bare.


    "We can take my car, I guess. You''ll need to drive, I don''t know where we''re heading."


    I just grinned at her, then walked over to the passenger door to open it for her. The mere sight of her sparked desire in me. She was wearing the same perfume she had on the first time we met.


    I drove for awhile, kept my hands on the wheel with effort.


    "I had a friend tell me about this place, said some of his friends hang here. I make no promises. If it ends up not being your scene, just let me know and we''ll leave, no problem, ok?"


    I parked in the parking garage that Ed had recommended. There was a uniformed guard hanging out by the elevator.


    "Ed says hi."


    The guy looked me over, nodded, and moved out of the way.


    I grinned reassuringly to Mahina.


    "Private security," I whispered as I put my arm around her in the elevator, mostly to reassure her. Getting out, I followed the directions Ed had given me. It was an easy trail to follow considering the scents I was picking up. Before long we came to a line. Ed had told me to ignore the line and go straight to the bouncer. I recognized the guy from the gym, but wasn''t sure he recognized me from the look he gave me.


    "Reservation for Little Wolf."


    "We don''t do reserva..."


    He got pulled back from behind, literally yanked back. Mac was standing there holding a handful of the guy''s shirt.


    "Get your ass in here," Mac said to me, then turned to the bouncer.


    "Out of his way."


    I was grinning, trying not to laugh. What was I going to do with these guys? I guided Mahina in.


    There was a short corridor where you could here the muffled bass of music further in.


    "Mahina, this is Mac. Mac, Mahina.


    "Charmed," Mac growled, stalking down the corridor.


    "Should I ask?"


    Apparently not. Mac looked a little embarrassed as he opened the doors at the end of the corridor. We were assaulted by noise and lights.


    Mac headed straight to a hall off to the side. The bouncer guarding the entrance moved quickly out of his way. The hall was lined on one side with curtained doors. Each curtain was a different color or had some symbol or another on it. Mac stopped at one that had a black curtain with a fist on it. He moved it aside.


    We stepped into a small room. There was a curved couch on one end that had a narrow shelf behind it to hold drinks. There was a booth on the other end to hold real food.


    This was part of a VIP area. The room opened on the other end directly onto the dance floor. The DJ was across from us on the far wall. The VIP rooms were partitioned off from the dance floor by a red velvet rope, with openings here and there so people could go in and out. A few bouncers were spaced along the velvet rope.


    "Not a word," was all Mac growled at me, then turned toward Mahina.


    "There are restrooms that are easier to get to off the VIP corridor. This guy gives you any problem, just let me know."


    Mac was grinning as he left. I just shook my head.


    "You plan on giving me any trouble?" Mahina asked me. She had a sly, teasing look on her face.


    I gave Mahina one of those intense looks for a moment, leaning over to give her a kiss, stopping before our lips actually touched.


    "Yes m''am, as much trouble as you want, and if you truly want absolutely none..."


    I let my voice trail off. I stayed where I was, close to her, my mouth was only inches from hers. I let her see my desire for her in my eyes. I let her make the first move, knowing all I was doing was waiting for permission.


    She reached up to pull my head to her. She was still an inch or so shorter than me in her heels. It was hard not taking her in my arms right then, but I settled for a kiss for now. I made it a slow, full, gentle kiss, full of future promises as I pulled away.


    I had a bit of laughter in my eyes, lightening the mood. The tinder had been lit, but I didn''t want a blazing flame yet. I took her hand and we checked out the small area.


    "Something to eat first? Or something to drink? Or just dance?"


    I wasn''t about to suggest anything else to start with. Mahina gave me a smile and tugged my hand to the dance floor. I was happy to oblige.


    It was a good beat. I didn''t recognize the song, but that didn''t matter to me as she led me onto the crowded dance floor. I let the rhythm fill me, moving my feet.


    She lifted her arms as she swayed. It felt good to dance, even if it wasn''t quiet the same as dancing at home. I enjoyed being with her. I tried to keep my eyes on her face. The looks she gave me had me glad I could expel some of my excitement onto the dance floor.


    When we headed back to the alcove, there was a plate of appetizers, a chilled bottle of wine, and a bucket with a few beers and a couple of bottles of water. We sat and nibbled from the plate. She opted for the wine. I poured two glasses. I was trying to figure out how to use any of dad''s little drinking tips in this situation.


    When we stood to do some more dancing, I pulled her into me, took that longer, deeper kiss I wanted that left her breathless. I let her go, except for her hand, which I kissed the back of before leading her back to the dance floor.


    The beat was a bit wilder this time, and my feet stomped as if I was home. I liked experimenting, combining different dance styles. I got a few looks, but I ignored them, letting laughter conquer the moment. She laughed with me. I spun her around, did some spinning myself. The wolf played, enjoying the dance. She really did smell divine. I knew I could find her now, even in this crowd.


    Two times two. I kept my focus. There were occasions to touch. My hands ran along her sides, only for a moment, touching her shoulders, sliding down her arm lightly, holding one hand long enough to give it a squeeze.


    We were taking another break when I noticed Mac over by the DJ. I nudged Mahina.


    "He''s up to something. Wish I knew what. Knowing the guys they''ll probably try to embarrass me or something."


    "How do you know him?"


    "We became friends at the gym I work out at. Private place, mostly ex-military; guys who want to work out practicing skills few others use."


    "And what skills do you practice there?"


    "Mostly wrestling. You don''t grow up where I did without learning how to wrestle. I was on the team in college, and before that in high school. I''ve had some pretty intense bouts. Nothing compared to a lacrosse game though. Around the groups I played with and against, if you couldn''t tussle a bit you were useless for a lacrosse match."


    Whatever I was going to say next was lost as the DJ said something about letting the wild side out, and let''s hear the guys howl. I shot daggers at Mac, who just grinned.


    Good that he could play with it I guess. Better than him puking every time he turned around.


    "Wanna hear me howl? "


    Mahina laughed.


    "Sure, give it a go. "


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    I moved us to the edge of the VIP area. Lots of guys were howling it up. I waited until they were mostly done before I let loose a long, loud, commanding true howl, showing them how it was done.


    There was complete silence on the floor by the time I finished my howl. I drew Mahina with me to the center of the dance floor. I left her in the empty middle for a second while I went over to the DJ. A row cleared before me. I asked him if he could play one from a website, and gave him the information.


    I glided back to Mahina, glanced at the DJ, who nodded. I grinned at Mac before turning back to Mahina. I put my finger to my lips in a shhh.


    The first note was a long lone flute note, it undulated down into a fast melody. Drums pounded a beat. I danced, a proud peacock showing off his feathers. My arms were out, my feet moving quickly in a staccato rhythm, my spins worked with the melody. I hated that I had no fringe to move with the dance.


    The howls when they came were part of the music. Up and down, the howls intertwined with the flute. The singer''s voice mine, then and now as I howled again.


    I remembered the night my cousins put the music together. Ancient sounds mixing with modern ones, quick staccato beats mixed with heavier bass poundings. I had laughed then, enjoying their creativity.


    I laughed now, drawing Mahina into the dance, howling again, nodding to the guys standing around. By the time the song ended, the dance floor was full of spinning girls and stomping guys.


    We had to do a few sets of dance after that. I had a few girls try to get close. I finally stopped, picked one up, firmly set her down on the other side of me, gave all my attention back to Mahina. The guys who tried to get close to her found themselves pushed back by my dance movements and looking at my backside as I kept myself between them and Mahina as much as I could.


    I could shoot Mac for tonight''s notoriety, or kiss him for it, I really couldn''t decide which. True, the choice to howl was mine. I doubt anyone here had ever seen a smoke dance before. The smoke dance was usually done by the six nation people and not my own, but I loved the movement of it. My fellow dancers seemed to appreciate my footwork. I definitely stood out now.


    Mahina''s actions were a bit more possessive with the sudden attention I was getting. I decided I could get used to this kind of possessive from her.


    We headed back to our table, sat on the curved couch to enjoy more wine. We watched the dancers, commenting on those who could truly  dance. I told her about the bonfire dances back home, the ceremonial dances, the costumes.


    She had turned to me to hear better over the noise, leaning in, running her hand along my chest. I had my arm across her back, my fingers playing lightly along her open shoulder. Suddenly I couldn''t resist moving in, kissing along her neck, her jawline, my tongue sliding against her flesh. My other hand slid around her waist to the small of her back.


    She was arched, her one hand behind my head, fingers entwined in my hair, her other hand stroking my arm up and down . Her eyes were fluttering, head back some to give me room, encouragement for more intense kisses. I tasted and sucked along her jawline, nuzzled into the side of her neck. I couldn''t help debating if I dared leave a hicky.


    I stopped the kisses finally, but didn''t move from our embrace; my very breath proof of my desire. I kept the one hand behind her, the other had the back of my finger slide down against her cheek. Slower music was playing now. I led her once more to the dance floor, keeping her close.


    We were close enough, I knew she could feel me. My wants were conflicting in me. I wanted to spend the rest of the night becoming more familiar with her body. I wanted to make sure I didn''t push. I wanted her to have her way with me, and my imagination went wild thinking of what she might choose to do.


    I wanted to wait, because if this relationship went anywhere serious, I wanted things to be perfect.


    I wanted her now.


    I groaned softly, nibbling the edge of her ear while we were on the dance floor.


    Patience, Little Wolf, I told myself. The wolf knows how to wait for what it wants. And more than anything, I wanted my time with her to be special.

 22 Ch 22 Yard Party

    I opened the door as Mahina was reaching for the bell.


    "Hey," I said smiling at her, "seems our gathering got kinda bigger than I planned. Hope you don''t mind. A few of my cousins and some friends came up unexpectedly. Looks like I''m having a surprise birthday party tonight."


    I made the rounds again with Mahina. By the time I was done, Anna was calling out for everyone to get the food.


    "So you got dinner and firewood, huh?" I couldn''t resist complaining to Dad teasingly.


    Dad just gave me a look like he didn''t know what I was talking about. I leaned against him briefly before going out to check the fire.


    When I came back in, Mac was getting some food, taking small samples of this and that. I shook my head at his nearly empty plate.


    "Mac, dig in before these ravenous wolves finish it off."


    Oh, the look he threw me, suddenly slightly nervous, before taking in my teasing grin. He gave a little half-laugh before grabbing a bit more of the roast. I understood now why Dad had brought a whole elk and how he got it in the truck.


    I paid attention to Mahina then, making sure she had everything set. I grabbed my own food, being able to choose from many of my favorite dishes, before leading her outside.


    I sat Mahina on the bench. There were blankets all around the fire. Someone was spiking drinks, keeping an eye out for my dad. Mahina and I both accepted a splash in our cokes. Even though I was officially legal now, it was still fun trying to sneak in some alcohol behind Dad''s back.


    Along with the food came the stories from my childhood. I swear they were trying to outdo each other in their efforts to embarrass me in front of Mahina. It was all in good fun. I laughed along with them as they recounted stories that showcased my personality.


    They spoke of my honor, like when a few of us had pulled a prank on one of our girl cousins and she got upset and cried. I was the only one to turn myself in so I could apologized to her. It didn''t matter that I was nine at the time.


    They spoke of my courage, running over and tackling Running Elk to get him out of the way of a few elk that had gotten spooked and almost ran him over. It was how he got his name.


    The stories went on for awhile. It was dad who changed the tide.


    "Don''t forget his penchant for fighting. Let''s see... had to pull him off another boy... you were what? Eight? Who was it I pulled you off of? Thomas I think, wasn''t it Thomas? And the first year you went to public school? Coming home with a black eye? Thomas, weren''t you the one who gave it to him? Skinned knees from wrestling...who.. ah, Thomas again I think?"


    Dad was grinning at Thomas''s discomfort. All of the girls snickered. Most of the guys were starting to grin as well. Dad spoke more directly to Mahina then.


    "If I remember right, it didn''t matter what I said, those two especially would end up fighting."


    "Until high school," snickered Anna, "when they had to play lacrosse on the same team, instead of against each other. We had the best lacrosse team the whole time they were in high school, with those two finally working together."


    Everyone agreed with that rather loudly.


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    Running Elk and I shared a look. I nodded, giving Running Elk permission to speak up.


    "Wonder who would win a wrestling match these days?"


    There were lots of cat calls and hoots and hollers.


    I looked challengingly over at Thomas. "A victor match?"


    The girls began shouting, encouraging the bout, the guys all looked at Dad.


    "To the count of five or the third consecutive hold."


    I grinned at Mahina as I took off my shirt. I wasn''t beyond flexing a little to show off my runner''s physique. "Don''t worry," I told her, "I''ll win."


    One of my female cousins leaned over to whisper in her ear, explaining what was about to happen. Mahina gave me a dissatisfied look.


    I wasn''t worried though. She was either going to trust me more, or never forgive me. Either way, our relationship was going to take another step, either forward or backward. I knew how this worked, and was betting Mahina would trust me more.


    Thomas and I paired up in the grass. The other guys circled us. Dad positioned himself to referee the match. I caught a glimpse of Mac and Derrick standing by the back door, watching with interest. It looked like there might be some wagering going on there. Derrick was going to regret not being in the circle.


    "Little Wolf," Dad said with a look. I understood. No minor shifting, which would be tantamount to cheating in a match like this. I nodded.


    Thomas and I went at it. The girls had gathered in a circle outside the guys. Everyone was spaced out enough so that everyone had a good view. There were no comments from the guys but the girls hollered out their preference to win. A lot of them were shouting my name, a few shouted for Thomas. There was no better incentive to win a victor match than the girls shouting out your name.


    I won the bout with three consecutive holds. The girls were all ky-yay-yaying and whooping it up. The guys were all grinning.


    The girl next to Mahina shouted it out first. She was an old friend, not one of my cousins.


    "To the victor goes the spoils!"


    The call was repeated by all of the girls. There was a lot of whooping and cheering then. I walked over to her, not looking at Mahina next to her.


    Chani put her hands up and pulled me in for a kiss, but at the last second, she turned my head slightly away from Mahina so her kiss landed on my cheek.


    I made my way around the circle, getting a kiss on the cheek from each of them; they respected the fact Mahina was my girlfriend. I could feel Mahina''s eyes on me.


    A kiss on the cheek I could expect from my cousins. Each girl who wasn''t a cousin teased me the way Chani had.


    This was a test of sorts among the girls. How many times had the girls tested their boyfriends this way? If I showed interest for any of them, it wouldn''t be a chaise kiss I would get.


    In the past, the kisses I received from my victories had been much more intimate.


    I kept myself aloof, until I got to Mahina.


    She had watched the whole affair with a few more whispered explanations from the girls. How much of a kiss she thought the victor should get, however much or little of a kiss she was interested in giving, was all her choice.


    The guy was only allowed to accept the kiss, not kiss back. If he wanted more he would have to ask later, outside of the game.


    Mahina reached up, placing her hands behind my head. She paused before pulling me in for a kiss. I was glad she was playing along and didn''t seem mad. I let my desire for her fill me, giving her an intense look and a teasing smile. She smiled back as she pulled me in.


    The guys started whooping it up as the kiss went on, and on. It was so hard not to put my hands on her, so very hard to just be kissed and not kiss back. This was part of how we guys learned self control.


    If the girl wasn''t happy with how you behaved during a kiss, if she had to pull away from you because you got aggressive, if any of them saw you reach out for a girl, you were screwed. It was like writing your own dating death sentence. The rest of the kisses you got would be on the forehead.


    It was the most embarrassing thing to happen to a guy, because all of the other girls would know you couldn''t be trusted to contain yourself. There were a few guys that couldn''t get a date to prom because they had screwed up too many times during the four years of high school.


    When Mahina finally came up for air, I turned back to Thomas and the circle of waiting guys.


    As the victor, I got to call out the next challenger to match up with Thomas.


    I did Derrick a solid and called his name out.

 23 Ch 23 Forest Fire

    Derrick and I were heading from one kind of fire to another.


    The party had ended well, with the fire pit being a huge success. There was enough firewood stacked behind the old shed to last all winter and half of next summer.


    Chani had taken a liking to Derrick, at least for the night. The two of them had spent some time kissing. With dad acting as chaperone, you can be sure nothing else happened.


    Dad did swap out a few drinks from our younger guests, giving them a fresh can of coke.


    I couldn''t help thinking that no one could make a better guardian at a party. Wolf nose could smell the alcohol easily. Wolf hearing and smell would know if anyone snuck off. It made me realize how easy my dad had been on me on occasion, saying nothing about a few of my exploits.


    I didn''t doubt Dad got little sleep that night, patrolling the tents. He had given his truck keys to Running Elk when they headed out Monday morning.


    Derrick and I were in a truck now, heading in the opposite direction. We had been called upon to help with a forest fire that broke out in the Smoky Mountains that was endangering residents. Our inexperienced selves were being sent as part of the force going door to door, looking for people left behind after the call to evacuate.


    A few other guys from our station were in the truck in front of us. The beds of both trucks were full of supplies, including cases of bottled water. My bike was in the back of our truck, just in case.


    We spent the first day there knocking on doors. I found a few people that might have gotten missed. I put my wolf nose and hearing to good use. For a little while, I helped an animal group with a van and cages rescue pets that that were left behind.


    We were exhausted by the time daylight ended. We ended up parking the truck with a bunch of other neighboring firefighters. It was like everyone was your friend that you''d known for years.


    We shared our water, a few other people were sharing food. Derrick and I had brought enough food to last us for a few days just in case. I set up my tent, preferring that to the crowded building that was putting us up. Mine wasn''t the only tent off to the side. After hanging out with the guys we came with, Derrick opted to share my tent.


    The second night there, I woke suddenly in the middle of the night, already sitting up. My mind was focused on the image in my mind. Was it a dream? A call for help had echoed through the local night. It was a desperate, terrified howl, screaming for help.


    ''Help! Anyone? Please come help me! I can''t do this! We''re gonna die!'' The words echoed within me.


    My spirit-vision sped toward the frightened howling wolf. I only had the quickest glimpse of him holding a smaller, hurt companion. The companion was the reason he was unable to escape the surrounding flames. He had no good direction to go, his burden heavy in his arms. I guessed he was in his early teens. I saw the fire through wolf eyes, saw a clear path through the flames.


    That initial thought that this was merely a vivid dream was gone.


    Derrick was grabbing my arm as I loaded up my gear. I had already pulled my bike from the truck. I put a finger to my lips, shushing anything he might say.


    "There''s need. Cover for me."


    I left him standing in the parking lot, looking confused and like he wanted to yell at me.


    I had a sense of the direction I needed to go. The roads were empty as I pushed my bike to its limits heading toward the fire.


    I found a group of fire trucks and rescue vehicles. I parked my bike between a few that were in a small group by themselves further back. I stripped cautiously, putting everything in my saddlebags, leaving the heavy yellow work jacket over my seat. I shifted quickly.


    I paused once I was in the woods. I closed my eyes, depending on spirit vision for a second to guide me. My path through the fire was suddenly clear.


    I opened my eyes and took off. I don''t think I had ever run this fast, four feet gliding over the ground. Leaps over obstacles were smooth movements. Smaller trees and bushes were easy to weave through.


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    There were patches of fire now. My paws crushed the ash and burnt debris beneath them. Smoke swirled above me. There were times when the path through areas of flame was a narrow one. Long high leaps through the smoke had me clear.


    I ran on. The vision remained true. I howled to let them know I was coming.


    I heard an answering howl, then two more; other rescuers who were as lost in the woods as my prey. They had no vision to guide them.


    I heard a howl from my target. Fear and relief were in his short howl. It was as if I could hear words buried in his howl- ''Hurry, please!''


    I came to a stop in front of a young teenage boy. In his arms he held a girl about eight or nine years old. My sudden appearance startled him. His steps faltered and he turned his body to shield the girl from me. I smelt the wolf on him, but not her. He looked Native American, like myself, but different, probably from a different tribe.


    I lifted up my front end, standing as a man, the fur quickly receding from my skin. His eyes got wide. I grinned at him. Looking back at my return path, I knew running as human wasn''t going to work.


    I partially shifted back to wolf, making sure my face was mostly wolf. My voice came out deep and growly. My hand gently pressured him to turn so I could see the girl in his arms.


    "Little one," I rasped out, putting a human hand on her neck, checking her pulse.


    She struggled to focus on me.


    I took her from the boy, set her on the ground, examined her briefly. Her one leg was roughly splinted, bound by the boy''s flannel shirt. I held the leg, feeling along the bones, sniffing deeply. I couldn''t feel any bump, and there was no smell of blood. I was hoping it was only sprained, and not broken. Her arms at least were fine.


    I looked up to see her staring at me. Her eyes were as big as saucers. The boy looked like he was about to freak out with me revealing myself to her.


    "Little one, what are you doing on this side of the river?" I asked, hoping that in these circumstances, I could pass myself off as Spirit Wolf himself. "Come, I will carry you home. You must hold on to me as tightly as you wish to hold on to life. You must not fall off my back. Do you understand?"


    She nodded. The boy helped her up. Her hands wrapped around my neck.


    "Tighter, little one. You cannot hurt me. Your hold on me, like your hold on life itself, must be secure."


    I was three quarter wolf. Her legs hung over my sides. My paws were partially clawed hands and feet. I looked at the boy, motioning with my hand for him to change shape and go on all fours, then waited while his transformation took place.


    He shifted behind me, out of the girl''s view. His young body made for a small wolf.


    When he was finished, I let loose a howl. It was a summons for those others lost in the surrounding fire. My vision shifted for a second. I could see where they were in the woods. There were three of them, timber wolves all, like the boy beside me.


    "We''re going now, little one, hold tight. Run with me, my brother. Stay as close behind me as you can. Follow in my footsteps. Do not stop."


    I took off gliding, as smooth a run as I could make it. I could hear the boy struggling to keep my pace. I wasn''t going my fastest, but I dared not slow down.


    The wolves behind me were gaining on us, their paths converging behind us. I was no longer concerned about them. They were adult wolves, capable of following my trail, even through the ash-filled countryside.


    There was a tree down ahead of us, flames licking the ground. I didn''t stop. I slowed for a second, grabbed the boy as he came level with me, my arms around his middle. I threw his wolf form over the area. My own claws scrabbled against the burning bark.


    The girl was having trouble holding on. I shifted to two furred legs. I swung one arm behind my back, supporting her as much as I could. I felt her adjust. She was more stable. Four legs now, growls and barks, encouraging the boy to keep going.


    Sometimes I was more wolf, pushing off against the ground. Sometimes I used clawed hands to grab small trees on either side of my path, vaulting myself forward.


    The trail through the fire coincided with a deer trail for awhile. I pushed the boy in front of me. He was slowing, which meant I was slowing. I urged him forward, keeping my nose against his flank, pushing him.


    The timber wolves finally caught up. They were now ranging around us. I left the boy to them, leaping ahead of them.


    My vision shifted, spirit-vision overlapping what my eyes were showing me. The clear path veered from the deer trail. With a short howl that was part bark, I angled off again. I was trusting the timber wolves to follow.


    I didn''t hold back now; my body shifting between man and wolf and everything in between as needed. I was wolf when I needed speed. I became partially man when the girl on my back needed help.


    My vision kept shifting. Man saw flames, wolf saw smells buried under the smell of smoke, spirit kept an eye on the path through the wildfire and the wolves that followed.


    There were man-sounds ahead. The wolves around me had been barking and howling. Others had come. A man in jeans and flannel now ran behind me, carrying the youth, who was now a boy again, on his back.


    There were men in front of me blocking my path. I was feral, no numbers in my head to help me focus. I was consumed with protecting my burden. Wolf growled at them as I stood on four legs.


    It wasn''t until one of the men came closer, kneeling on the ground before me, that my mind shifted again. His actions were too similar to Lone Wolf''s. This man wasn''t bowing to me though, he was merely lowering himself so we were eye to eye.


    The girl stirred. I shifted enough so when I stood and twisted around, she slid into my arms. My snout touched her face, her neck.


    "Safe."


    The word came out, but the sounds that made the word were sounds a wolf would make.


    She smiled at me. She wasn''t afraid. I smiled back, not even knowing how much of me was wolf and how much was man. I set her down carefully on the forest floor.


    I looked at the man in front of me. The growl I gave him was a warning. I stood over the girl for a moment, back on four legs. She reached for my front leg.


    "Thank you, Spirit Wolf."


    I could feel Spirit Wolf looking at her through my eyes with fondness. She was still smiling. I took a step back.


    Man sounds invaded my awareness as Spirit Wolf withdrew. It was too much. I couldn''t focus.


    I sprang away full wolf.

 25 Ch 25 A Visit Home

    Dad was there the moment I got off the bike.


    "Where''s your phone?"


    I pulled the long dead device from my saddlebags. Dad handed it to Derrick, motioning toward the house.


    I never made it to the house. Dad grabbed me in a wrestling move before I got halfway there. It ticked me off. I wanted to sleep in my own bed, not fight on the front lawn with people watching.


    At least it didn''t develop into a fight. The wrestling hold turned into a big hug. Dad was telling me I wasn''t supposed to be stupid. I didn''t think he was going to let go for a second.


    I hugged him back. I was looking forward to telling Dad my story, at least the part with the wolves and how I rescued the kids from the fire. I knew the story of the elders around the fire was something Grandfather would understand.


    Dad and I were still holding each other around the shoulders when we turned toward the house. Mahina was standing in the doorway with Derrick. I looked at Dad.


    "I wasn''t the only one worried. Derrick had called, said you were out of it for a bit."


    "Yeah, got stuck for a sec, did too much too fast I think. Stopped in Cherokee lands at the house of an elder, found my way back."


    We went to the bike to unload. Dad saw the practically empty skin that held the tea. He picked it up, examining the workmanship.


    "New skin."


    "Old Badger Woman made me tea. Gave me some for the trip home. I want to gift her one of mom''s bowls. She reminded me a lot of Auntie."


    "You''ll have to take Mahina by Anna''s."


    "I will, tomorrow. I want to set the tent up in the back, give it a good scrub down, re-treat it just in case."


    We unloaded our stuff. Dad didn''t even open my duffle bag but headed straight for the laundry room, smelling the smoke clinging to my dirty clothes. I hugged Mahina in the living room, not wanting to let go.


    "You need to do something about your dad. He put me up in his bedroom. I feel so uncomfortable..."


    I kissed her to hush her, knowing dad could hear.


    "You''ll never get to meet my mother. He just wants you to get a feel for her. It''s his way of honoring her. I''ll talk to him."


    I knew it wouldn''t do any good.


    "Dad, Mahina and I are going to stop by Auntie''s for a bit, I want to tell her about the tea. Derick, you wanna come? It''s just a few blocks away."


    "Nah, I''m good."


    He couldn''t fool me. The second we were gone, he was going to tell dad everything he didn''t manage to get out on the phone. Not that it mattered. Dad already knew I had gotten lost within myself, he just didn''t know how I had gotten lost. I wasn''t positive I knew for sure myself.


    Mahina and I held hands walking down the street. I led the way through Auntie''s back yard. Her yard was full of raised garden boxes full of different vegetables and herbs. Dad and I had helped the group of men that built her green house back when I was a kid. Many were the times after a good kill that dad would send me down with some steaks for her.


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    I pointed out some of the plants to Mahina, including the blueberry bushes around the house. Auntie didn''t believe in wasting space on purely decorative plants.


    I knocked on the back door before going in. Mahina seemed a little hesitant about just walking in someone''s house without hearing an actual invitation. I reassured her and headed through the small laundry/mud room into the kitchen.


    I sat Mahina at the table, then put the tea kettle on the stove. While I waited for the water to boil, I got busy. There were a few dirty dishes in the sink that I washed, setting them on the rack to drip dry.


    There were herbs hanging here and there in the kitchen, as well as her jars and containers filled with dried herbs on a shelf. I pulled out a small bowl, started mixing a pinch of this and that, sniffing a few, testing my memories. I could hear Auntie puttering about. She''d find her way to the kitchen when the kettle whistled. A whistling kettle was her real doorbell.


    Auntie was grandfather''s sister. Her gray hair was always pulled back. She wasn''t someone you messed with or disrespected in any way. She was also someone you could go to about anything. Her door was always open to whoever had need.


    By the time I was putting my mix into a tea ball, the kettle was whistling and Auntie came in to sit next to Mahina.


    "Where are the cups, boy?"


    "Getting them now, Auntie."


    I grinned at Mahina as Auntie looked her over.


    "What kind of tea do you need, my dear?"


    "The kind that puts her at ease around my dad!" I answered for her, grinning.


    Auntie just looked at me for a second before cackling. "Ain''t no such tea. Just be glad you ain''t ever had detention with him," she told Mahina. "He keeps those boys busy. You talk to him about the group he has tomorrow Little Wolf?"


    "No Auntie, just got in. Stopped in Cherokee territory for some tea."


    "You don''t like my tea any more, boy?"


    "Special circumstances Auntie. I think I''ve duplicated it but I''m not sure. What''s left is in the skin there."


    Auntie was on the council of elders and knew what I was. She sniffed the leftover tea, poured the last of it in one of the cups. She compared what I made with what the old Cherokee woman had made. She sniffed both, tasted carefully.


    "Who made it?"


    "Old Badger Woman."


    Auntie looked up at me sharply, looking specifically around my neck. Her measuring look took in the absence of a medicine bag. When her gaze made its way to my face, wolf looked back at her for a second. I had a quick superimposed image, but it was too quick and I couldn''t make out details.


    Her eyes narrowed.


    "Your rudeness does not become you Little Wolf. You should not go where you are not invited."


    "My apologies Auntie, I''m still learning. Lots of new things to learn these days."


    She humphed and turned her attention to the tea more carefully.


    "Close, what you did. I have a friend over in Cherokee lands. I''ll call her, see if I can find out who made it for you. It''s always good to talk shop with another herbalist. I''ll make more for you. Pick it up tomorrow. You will end up needing it, knowing you. Why are you still standing there? You have a lady at my table with no tea. Get busy! Impress me."


    I grinned and laughed. My many failed attempts to bring her stuff from the woods as a child had her teach me about her herbs. I chose a few dried berries added to chamomile for Mahina, and for Auntie I added a little something to help with her arthritis. I chose cinnamon and vanilla to add to my chai tea.


    Auntie turned to Mahina, placed a hand on hers to reassure her.


    "It isn''t my kitchen he invaded without permission. Anyone who needs tea, whether for their body or their mind, even just to talk, is always welcome. This includes you my dear. Just put the kettle on."


    We spent the next hour with Auntie telling stories about my mother and my childhood.


    It was a slow walk back home, holding hands, me sneaking in a few kisses.


    "I was surprised to see you," I told her after one kiss, "but I''m glad you''re here."


    "I was worried, especially after your dad called me asking if I''d heard from you. What happened?"


    "It''s hard to explain, even to my dad. It''s a spiritual thing. Among my mother''s people, we''re encouraged to find our spirit guide. I''d found mine recently. During the fire, I woke up, hearing someone call for help. I had to go. My spirit guide led me to a young teenage boy holding a hurt young girl. I carried her out. I think because of the urgency of the situation my connection to my spirit guide got... tangled, I guess is one way to put it. I needed his spirit-vision to find the kids and to find my way back out of the forest."


    "You were in the middle of the fire?"


    I merely nodded. She gave my hand a squeeze. I snuck in another kiss, smiling at her.


    "Afterward, it was like we just didn''t disconnect, and I didn''t know how to. I don''t know. I was going on autopilot for a bit there. I knew where the closest elders were, I can''t even tell you how. Spirit guide led me, I guess. I just knew where I needed to go. I stopped, slept, ate, drank tea."


    I gave her a small smile then, bringing her hand up to my lips.


    "We''re told not to talk about our spirit guide usually. I don''t think what happened to me was totally normal, if you know what I mean. I''ll talk to grandfather about it tomorrow."


    "I''m not sure I''m ready to meet more of your family yet. You are all very close."


    "Grandfather is a special case. I''ll try and spare you," my grin wouldn''t go away as I tried to reassure her. "My whole tribe is like one big family. It''s a small community here, and we watch out for each other. I can''t think of anywhere I wouldn''t be welcomed. It''s more than just living in the same place. It''s culture, history and heritage. What''s it like for you in Hawaii?"


    She swung my hand for a bit, gave it a bit of a tug to bring me down for another kiss.


    "A lot like it is for you here I guess," she said finally. "Big extended family, our own language, culture."


    "I''d love to meet your family sometime and learn about your culture. I bet you know the ocean the way I know the mountains. Dad even mentioned tackling Hawaiian as his next language."


    "Hawaii has mountains you know."


    "It does?" I opened my eyes wide in mock surprise. "I thought they were called volcanoes out there."


    She let go of my hand then in order to slap my arm as I laughed. Her hand was quick to find mine again, which for some reason stirred me. I wanted her so bad right now. I stopped in the middle of the street for a deeper kiss.


    She pulled away, embarrassed. She looked up at me with this look in her eyes that reassured me she would want more, just somewhere a bit more private.


    "Sorry, you''re too beautiful to resist."


    Definitely time for one of those more intense looks. I was rewarded when she blushed. We made it to the front steps and sat down. I had no intention of releasing her hand. My thumb kept moving back and forth on the back of her hand. My other hand found its way down her other arm, then back up.


    We were interrupted by Derrick at the front door.


    "Your dad said dinner is ready. Do you guys ever eat anything other than steaks and potatoes? No, don''t tell me. Mighty hunters."


    I laughed as I led Mahina inside... and through the house. Dad had everything set up out back, including a fire in our pit. He even had some of my cousins'' music playing in the background. I raised my eyebrows at him. He just shrugged and gave me this tongue-in-cheek look.


    "I think dad likes you," I whispered in Mahina''s ear, "cause I don''t think he put the music on for Derrick."


    She blushed again, which made me wonder how I was going to make it through the night without embarrassing myself with my desire for her.


    Overall, dinner was comfortable. I could tell dad was refraining from teasing me. Derrick just looked tired.


    "Dad, Auntie mentioned you had a whole group for detention tomorrow. Who pulled what prank?"


    He took another sip of his drink before answering. "The whole wrestling team, for the third weekend in a row. Something is going on with them, but they won''t say what. Even after me riding them the last two weeks. Any ideas?"


    "Maybe they just want you back as coach."


    "I don''t think that''s it. Something is bothering them. Will you talk to them in the morning for me?"


    "Sure, then I''m heading over to the general store. Story time still at ten?"


    Dad just looked at me, before finally shaking his head.


    "What?" I asked, slightly annoyed. He should know I couldn''t resist. "It''s been awhile since I''ve had the time to enjoy it, and the store is right next to Anna''s. Besides, that way Mahina gets a glimpse of..."


    "Did I say not to go?"


    Dad''s voice was rough and a little harsh. I realized I was pushing buttons I didn''t mean to. Story time had been Mom time. I shushed. Dad and I shared a look.


    "You know,"I said finally, "I might have to convince Anna to add to the collection. Could be interesting."


    Dad just snorted.


    "You''ll see tomorrow," I told Mahina as I took in her confused glances between me and my dad.


    I was looking forward to the chance to share some of my past in a unique way. Her surprising me here meant I could show her more about me than she could learn talking over coffee.


    Dad insisted Derrick help him clean up, which gave Mahina and I a little time for that more private kiss. I think she appreciated my efforts to make up for my earlier behavior considering the way she responded. Dad cleared his throat before stepping back out.


    Dad was full of surprises as he played a bit of some more traditional music that mom had favored. He looked at me and shrugged as he started moving around the fire. It was he and I for a bit doing slow shuffling steps.


    I could see his body spasm suddenly. I knew he had shifted. I watched dad moving around the fire with a man-body and full wolf brain within. I knew he wanted to know what had happened to me, but for him to try it here shocked me a bit. I knew we both had more to learn about the wolf, so much more than we thought we knew.


    We shared a look. He gave me a challenging wolffish grin. Suddenly I was smiling back at him. We both howled as the two of us man-wolves danced around the flames, leaping as wolves do. It took dad a minute to be man within again. He went around the fire once more before pulling Mahina up, giving her a spin.


    I laughed out loud then, shifting back myself.


    We had a good time the rest of the night. Derrick had even joined us around the fire, claiming he felt like a fool because he had no idea what he was doing. It wasn''t long before dad and Derrick headed to bed, leaving Mahina and I to watch the fire die down.


    Our personal dance had slowed after they left, becoming nothing more than an embrace in which to share our kisses. My hands began to explore her body. The exploration wasn''t one sided. I closed my eyes in contentment, shivering as her hands traveled the length of my chest, along my back. I could feel myself stir when her hands went in my back pockets.


    My tongue leisurely entangled itself with hers. We pulled apart, only to reconnect again. I didn''t want to go to bed. I was too exhausted to stay awake.


    I finally banked the fire, leading her inside. I couldn''t resist giving her one last goodnight kiss before leaving her in the doorway of my parent''s bedroom.


    "You know Dad put you here because he knew it''s the one place I would never be able to..."


    She put a finger to my lips as she blushed again, her eyes twinkling at my implied testament of my desire for her. I kissed her hand again.


    Ten minutes later she finally gave me a shove away and closed the door.

 26 Ch 26 The Power of Stories

    I woke to dad hollering at someone. I groaned from the pile of clothes I was curled on top of. That made me blink and look at the bedroom door. Dad had installed a simple hook and eye for privacy.


    I couldn''t believe I had shifted to wolf at some point during the night. It was dad''s clothes I had made a bed of. I sighed to myself.


    Apparently everything I had been through had affected me more than I realized, especially if I still needed the comfort of sleeping on dad''s stuff.


    He still kept the chewed up pair of shoes from when I was a puppy under his bed. I had found them about a week after his extended run after mom died, much the way I found myself this morning. I had gone to bed back then crying, wanting my dead mother and my missing father. I woke up with the old chewed up shoes under me, me in wolf-form under his bed, fresh naw marks on the old shoes.


    They had been my go-to comfort whenever I woke up in the middle of the night as a kid. I remember pulling them out of dad''s closet with puppy teeth and sleeping in them after a nightmare. I was small enough back then in wolf form that I had wriggled my whole rump into one of the shoes, laying across the other. He was furious that I had chewed them up. He had gone to school that morning embarrassed at having to wear moccasins. I was surprised he never got rid of them, even after all this time.


    Since I was already wolf, I snuck out through the hole in the guest bedroom floor. I stayed under the trailer to scope out what was happening outside.


    Derrick was on the back steps drinking coffee. I could hear Mahina in the bathroom.


    The high school wrestling team was scrubbing my tent, my bike, and dad''s truck. Dad was supervising. He moved around until he was between me and the boys. It wasn''t like they could see me under here, but I took dad''s hint and headed back in. I was quick to dress, unlatch the door, and head to the kitchen.


    Mahina was just coming out of the bathroom, so I headed in after giving her a quick hug. I don''t think I ever spent so much care on my morning routine. I still hurried though because I could hear dad getting impatient with his detention charges.


    "Little Wolf!"


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    "Hey Little Wolf."


    They were waiting for me. I sauntered over to them.


    "Thought detention happened at school. You lot must be feeling sorry for my dad out here all alone. I''m sure you aren''t in that big a hurry to serve detention that you''d come out to get an early start."


    None of them met my eyes. Dad and I shared a look.


    "Dad, what normally happens on Saturday mornings?"


    "Wrestling practice."


    "So why would the wrestling team be working so hard to get out of wrestling practice?"


    I stalked toward them. They were nervous but held their ground, exchanging glances. They were debating spilling the beans. I suddenly spun back toward dad.


    "Maybe they have no skills and are embarrassed to be seen on the mat?"


    Dad gave me the barest nod. I tackled Jimmy out of the blue, his back smacking the ground. I had him pinned in a hold I knew he could break out of. I put him through his paces, trying to gauge the emotions running through him. I caught the barest whiff of something that reminded me of Lone Wolf.


    I literally jumped up and back, staring at Jimmy.


    "Dad," I said hesitantly, not taking my eyes off of Jimmy, "who is the new wrestling coach? Anyone I know?"


    "No, new guy got hired, does phys-ed and history, volunteered to coach some of the sports teams. What are you thinking?"


    No one understood the words I spoke to dad. Great thing about having a language nut for a dad. One of our regular things to do while working out was go through words in different languages. He grew up speaking Russian and German, learned a few other languages across Europe. He taught all the languages at school.


    "Stay calm," was the first thing I told him in German. "I make guess. I have no facts," spoken in Russian.


    I turned away from the boys to face dad. I did my best to convey calm, knowing it wasn''t going to work.


    "Knife," in Italian. It relayed everything I was thinking, especially after the story he had shared with me.


    His eyes flashed, glancing over the group of boys. With a growl he headed toward the school. After a few steps he started jogging. By the time he hit the street he was pounding the pavement in a full purposeful run, intent on his prey. I was glad I wasn''t the one at the end of his chase.


    "Well come on, pile in the truck. Let''s go save your coach. Jimmy, give me your phone."


    I grabbed dad''s keys, told Derrick to get in the front with me. I hollered to Mahina to follow in her car.


    Once I had the truck speeding toward the school, I called Chani on Jimmy''s phone.


    "Hey Chani, no, it''s Little Wolf. No, I didn''t break up with Mahina." I ignored Derrick''s choking sounds. "Yeah, I''m only in town for the weekend. Mahina is here with me. So is Derrick for that matter. We''re heading over to the General store when I''m done at the school with dad, hoping to catch story time."


    I held the phone away from my ear then. Chani shared dad''s opinion of me enjoying story time, thinking I was too old.


    "Aren''t you going to ask why I''m calling from your brother''s phone?"


    It got quiet on the other end.


    "You remember that incident in sophomore year, the one where the girls ganged up on... yeah. Ok, just listen because I''m at the school and have to head off my dad. He''s ticked at the new coach. Tell Jimmy that story when you see him, ok?"


    I hung up on her and got out of the truck, throwing Jimmy his phone on the way into the school''s gym. Derrick followed me in.


    Dad was pacing around the gym. The guy in the center was trying to talk to dad, yelling about how his boys were missing practice because of dad''s detention assignments. Dad was all human, but wolf-stalking him. Eyes intent on their target, no sound. The pacing continue. I was just relieved we got here before dad did something stupid. I had to grin at that thought, me watching over dad for a change.


    I didn''t stop moving once I was in the door, heading for the corner that held different equipment. The old wrestling mat was next to the parallel bars.


    "Jimmy, down on the mat. Guys, gather around."


    The guy being stalked by dad started yelling at me, who did I think I was taking over his boys and so on. The man''s possessiveness, calling the boys his, was grating on my nerves. Dad ran interference for me. The guy didn''t dare get close.


    Jimmy and I faced off. When I spoke I made sure it was loud enough for the "coach" to hear.


    "Now guys, what happens when someone uses an illegal move? Hmm? The whole team suffers when someone is disqualified. When you''re practicing, you have to call out the illegal moves in order to protect the team. If no one calls it out, you risk it getting used on others. Understand?"


    I gave the group of boys a hard look, letting them know their difficulty in speaking up endangered others.


    "Now Jimmy, you''re team captain right?"


    Jimmy, crouched in position across from me, nodded. When he was a freshman I had been team captain. He knew I had always watched over my team, on and off the mat. I''d gotten him out of trouble a few times his freshman year.


    "Well that makes you leader. If you don''t call out illegal moves, how can you expect anyone else to? I want you to show me the most illegal move someone has ever pulled on you."


    We wrestled, and Jimmy''s hand found its way to my crotch, squeezing briefly. He rolled away, not wanting to face me, embarrassed.


    I walked over to him, turned him around, held him at arms length for a second before pulling him into a hug. I whispered in his ear.


    "Your team is family, bro, you have to watch out for them. Do you know if anything more than touch happened?"


    "Isn''t it enough," he choked out.


    I patted his shoulder, turned to the man who dared... I had trouble finishing the thought. I walked over and stood next to dad.


    "I''m glad the guys trust you dad. They knew they were protected around you. Worth the price of anything you threw at them the last few weeks. As far as you go," I said to the guy in front of us, "you''re putting in your resignation."


    He started to sputter, claiming we had no right to demand anything, that there was nothing we could do to him. Dad and I were twin statues, wolf stares making him nervous and more boisterous to make up for it.


    I wasn''t surprised when the principal walked in. I was surprised he was followed by the full women''s council. I hadn''t expected the full counsel to come, especially that quickly. My call to Chani had produced results.


    I looked at Jimmy. He took a deep breath and headed over to them. He was nervous. I gave a look to the rest of the team, silently urging them to support their captain. They followed Jimmy over, standing behind him.


    I bumped dad on the shoulder. He gave a small growl. We weren''t needed anymore. I nodded to the ladies behind the principal before I headed out. The women''s council had its own authority, and heaven help anyone who messed with their kids. Dad followed after a second, Derrick right behind him.


    "I''m going for a run. Meet you at the pointe tonight?"


    "Yeah dad."


    I was proud of the fact the guys had turned to my dad. Maybe they couldn''t confide in him right away about something like that, but they had been trying.


    Dad felt like an outsider sometimes, especially after Mom died. I knew when we talked later, I would remind him how accepted he was by the tribe. I was glad he would have to pick up some of the sports again. It would keep him connected, keep him busy.


    I gave Derrick the truck keys and got in the car with Mahina. With a quick reassuring kiss, I gave her directions to the General Store. Looked like I was going to make story time after all.


    There was a nice weekend crowd at the store. I positioned Mahina behind the small crowd and off to the side where she would have a better view.


    Crouching down, I pilfered a few items. A fake fur wolf-tail belt, a knitted wolf hat with tassels hanging down, fur cuffs around the ankles and wrists that sold well during Halloween.


    I snuck behind the bookcase. The girl that was doing the book reading had already chosen a book. I pushed a certain book forward, letting out a whine.


    She had seen me, was trying not to laugh at me.


    "Looks like Little Wolf wants one of his favorites told, even though Little Wolf isn''t so little these days. It''s been awhile since Little Wolf has visited in person. You guys are in for a treat!"


    The story was one where my mom took me to go play with rabbits, which made no sense to the young wolf I was. As the girl read the story, I acted it out.


    My leap onto the low bookcase was graceful. My drop before the gathering of children had them holding their breath. I scratched the way a wolf would, sniffed, barked, ran around, leaped and howled where the story needed it.


    "It wasn''t until Little Wolf watched his father leap to take down an elk to feed the pack, that he understood. While the playful leaps with the rabbit was fun, it also taught him skills he would need. He turned to his mother in confusion.


    ''Why does the rabbit teach us to leap high, making us better hunters?''


    ''Because one rabbit might stop your hunger for a moment, but one elk feeds us all, making the rabbit safe.


    You only saw the rabbit as prey. You had thought there was nothing to be learned from so small a creature as the rabbit. Now you have learned otherwise.


    All beings deserve respect. You can always learn from others. The whole world is connected my Little Wolf, and the spirits of all animals are friends and brothers.''


    I went around the gathering after the story, rubbing my head on the kids'' shoulders, getting petted. I led them in a dance. I invited them to howl with me.


    This was something I had done since the first book had gotten published. There were over twenty books in the Little Wolf series, tales of my puppy childhood and my mom''s lessons to me, set in children''s stories.


    Play acting today was a way to reconnect with my mom, to remind myself that the spirits were connected. She had told the stories, Anna had gotten them published. Mom had done the art work.


    I made my way over to a boy in a wheelchair. His brother was running around, whooping it up. This boy was tied in so he wouldn''t slip, his withered arms and legs proof that someone would have to care for him his whole life, his head off to the side on occasion. I knelt down in front of him.


    "Little brother, I didn''t hear you howl."


    An arm moved, he groaned.


    "Nonsense little brother, of course you can. Howl little one, picture it in your mind. I will hear you."


    He focused on me then and I smiled at him. He let out a long moan. My eyes lit up.


    "You have a beautiful voice little one. Can I share it with them?"


    A movement that was definitely a yes.


    I repeated the howl I had heard from him, catching every inflection in his moan, translating it into a howl.


    With his mother''s permission I untied him, picked him up and held him carefully in front of me. I was careful to support his head.  I moved around the room.


    Long smooth strides, enough of a leap to make him feel the motion. Slow spins where his arms went out. I laughed as he enjoyed the dance. He moaned again, longer and louder than before. I repeated his howl.


    I took him back to his chair. His joy was obvious. His mom looked like she was about to cry, one hand over her mouth. I got him settled. I tied the wolf tail to the side of his chair, putting the tail in front of him, putting his hand on it.


    "Now, little brother, I have a task for you. There are chairs made with little joysticks to control the chair''s movement. I want you to grasp that tail. It will be hard. It will be frustrating. Don''t give up! Work on as much control as you can, so some day you can move your chair. I want to see you dance on your own little brother."


    His eyes followed me when his head could not. I don''t think such a thing had ever occurred to him. Would he ever have complete independence? No. But was there a new aspect to life that he could enjoy? I could tell by his smile that there was.

 27 Ch 27 Wolf Pointe

    It was fun running with dad again, shoulder to shoulder, along a path we''d scratched out of the forest over the years. Even wild wolves followed this path on occasion. The pointe had a great view and the sound from there, well, you could hear and be heard for miles.


    Dad and I weren''t the only wolves in the woods tonight.


    I could tell from the scents in the area that the wolf sent to represent the Arctic Wolf had been around for the last few days.


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    The old grey was laying on the stone of the pointe. When I looked at him I saw only wolf.


    There was another smaller wolf, friendly and unafraid, sitting on the trail. His coat was more yellow with black on its back and tail.


    "A Mexican wolf,"said dad in surprise, shifting to speak. "Rare in the world these days. Hola, Lobo," dad said, greeting him in Spanish.


    When I looked through Spirit Wolf''s eyes I could see others gathering.


    The shy wolf I had seen hiding, not wanting to be found, had come despite his fear. He was ranging at the edges of where we could scent him.


    The young lady''s representative was trotting toward us with purpose. He stood as her guardian. He would not risk her young self to this unknown so he came in her stead. I could picture a man in a suit and tie. He felt all business.


    Angry Cherokee Wolf was coming, and not happy about it. I bet Old Badger Woman had sent him.


    And Lone Wolf, struggling along the beginning of the path, the young wolf seeking his courage by his side.


    I had to stop and take to heart the advice I had gotten from grandfather after I put Mahina in Anna''s care. Derrick had already left with Chani. I had told grandfather everything, from my first use of my pipe.


    Grandfather taught me and warned me. I didn''t control Spirit Wolf, he helped me at his pleasure. The wrong attitude would offend him and he could possibly leave me. Respect was the key. He was not mine alone. He was my guide, not an aspect of my being the way man and wolf was.


    Yet the wolf within me, that was me, related so easy to the spirit of the wolf. It was as if there was no border between us. The way I had shifted in the fire was proof of that.


    Right now, after knowing Lone Wolf brought a companion, I really wanted to know where that alpha was! Spirit Wolf obliged me. The world moved under his feet until my vision focused on a city.


    I was at attention then, ears forward, eyes focused on that distant point. I focused in on that alpha Lone Wolf had spoken of.


    There was a room, a boy chained to the floor. The filth of the place, the condition of the naked wolves...


    The coward would not come, too afraid to leave his city, too afraid of losing control of his captive pack. I couldn''t tell if the growl that came from my throat was mine or Spirit Wolf''s.


    "If that''s my greeting I have no problem leaving."


    I blinked, a few times. It was the angry Cherokee Wolf in front of me, already shifting back to wolf after speaking as man. I shifted enough to speak. I think I might finally be getting shifting my throat down pat.


    "Not you, sorry, was looking elsewhere. You''ll understand when you smell their fear. Please stay and meet the others. Arctic Wolf has travelled long and far."


    "So have I," said the small yellow wolf as he finished shifting to a dark-skinned man.  "I originally came from Venezuela. I thought the gathering of wolves was myth until I heard the call. It''s fascinating to meet the other native tribes who live with the wolf. I am of the Wayuu,"  he said with a toothy smile.


    "I am of the Yupik," said the white Arctic Wolf, now also an Eskimo man. "Our matriarch sent me. What myth?"


    Cherokee stayed, shifting back to man. I could tell he was fascinated despite himself.


    I spoke up, before those other wolves got close enough to hear.


    "There are others coming who are not one with the wolf like we are. I don''t know how much I would tell them about where home is and how many wolves are there. Excuse me a moment," I said with a smile.


    I shifted and loped to the one who wanted to stay hidden. I didn''t approach too close, just close enough for him to hear me.


    Thinking on what Lone Wolf had said about royals, I figured showing off my ability to shift wouldn''t hurt. I rose, shifting to man, dropping to sit cross-legged on the ground, all in one smooth movement.


    "Hello."


    He came closer, but not too close.


    "You don''t have to be shy, or afraid," I told him, "not with us. I can''t speak for everyone who will be here, just those of us who are one with the wolf. We want only what the wolf wants. Sun on our backs, the ground beneath our feet, a good hunt when hungry. None of us will hurt you."


    I considered the impressions I had received from Spirit Wolf before I spoke again.


    "Somehow you have some interest in this gathering. The rest have come to witness, and to meet each other. Please, join us, even if just as wolf. No one asks you to stand as a man. Who you are is your business. You don''t even have to speak unless that is what you want. The choice is yours."


    I gave him a smile and shifted back to wolf. I gave myself a good stretch before wandering back.


    Dad was introducing himself as being from the Black Forest. He had found his calling among these wolves, translating things as needed. He was switching between Russian for the Arctic Yupik and Spanish for the Wayuu Lobo from South America. I was just glad everyone seemed to speak English as well.


    Old Grey watched me go by. I had a feeling he knew something about the underlying cause of why we were here. I didn''t know if the old wolf could still find the man inside himself to tell us anything.


    I headed toward the businessman. He wasn''t like the rest of us. His movements were determined. He didn''t glide through the forest like a wolf, he strode through the woods like a man in the shape of a wolf.


    I ghosted up to him, brushing past and circling tight. I let my tail and demeanor speak for me. I was non-threatening and friendly. He seemed slightly amused. He was open, watchful, but not aggressive. I pranced forward playfully.


    I left him when he was close enough to the others. Cherokee was back in wolf form. I didn''t blame him considering the chill in the air. He was laying over by Old Grey, listening to the conversation between my dad and the two travelers who had come so far.


    I turned my head when I heard someone crashing through the woods. I only knew one wolf that incompetent at walking on four legs. I shifted to man for a bit, running toward them. I waited until I was sure his companion could see me before I transitioned to wolf while running.


    My dad might fuss about me showing off my shifting, but after what Lone Wolf had told me, I figured I might as well impress his companion enough so there was less chance he would cause trouble.


    Lone Wolf braced himself at my running approach. He knew what to expect from our first meeting where I rushed him. He just laid on the ground where I knocked him down, stretching out his neck and rolling his eyes at me. His companion stood over him growling at me. I half-shifted back to man so I could speak easier.


    "Good to know your companion is as willing to protect you as you are to protect him, Lone Wolf," I said laughing. "It''s good to see you again, especially so soon!" I couldn''t help smiling at him, ignoring the growling wolf.


    "Dad wasn''t sure you''d find your way. Don''t feel obligated to shift unless you want. I know how hard it is for you. We''ll probably be going back and forth between forms all night. Your choice."


    I was back to wolf then, pouncing at the ground in front of them and leaping away like I did the first time. He got up and shook his head. It was good to see his wolffish laughter. He nudged his companion behind him, then pounced at me, swatting awkwardly with his paw.


    I laughed again and ghosted up to him. I partially shifted so I could hug him, putting furred arms around his neck.


    "Come meet the others who heard the call," I said, giving him a tug. I shifted back to full wolf and headed toward the others, still ignoring his companion.


    You could smell the fear and uncertainty on Lone Wolf''s companion. The fear wasn''t only current, it was underlaying. It was like when you ate a lot of garlic and sweated it out. His very musk held the taint of fear. The uncertainty and caution was obvious in the way he approached the others. He stayed crouched down, showing teeth, acting like he was going to get attacked any second.


    Lone Wolf just kept walking. He would glance up at me now and again. For the most part his eyes stayed on the path in front of him, trying to figure out where to put his feet.


    Dad, Arctic, Lobo, and businessman, all still in man-form, grew silent. Old Grey, Cherokee and the shy one, still wolves, turned their heads as one to face the newcomers. The smell of fear from the two even from a distance was disconcerting.


    It was as if there was a silent signal once Lone Wolf and his companion stopped. All three of our two-legged guests shifted to wolves at once. All of them shifted in under a minute. Dad stopped in mid-shift.


    I couldn''t stop my small private smile when the smell of fear spiked. Lone Wolf couldn''t help pushing himself into the dirt, head tucked in, piddling of course. The sight of so many "royals" was too much for him.


    His companion wasn''t much better. I''d never seen a shocked expression on a wolf before. He cowered down then struggled to stand upright. He tried to hold himself as if he had some sort of authority.


    I walked over to the far side of Lone Wolf and laid down beside him, placing my head over his neck. I sighed.


    "Shift," Dad said to Lone Wolf''s companion. Dad was still on two legs, part wolf, enough for fur to cover his body.


    The shy one suddenly moved off to the side, pacing, ready to run. I had told him it was his choice. Dad''s command to Lone Wolf''s companion made him nervous.


    It took a bit over a minute for the wolf to become a young man. Dad didn''t hesitate. Even before the shift was totally completed dad was moving swiftly forward and engulfed the young man in a hug.


    Dad held him while he briefly struggled, starting to fight. Dad just held him tight, his grip preventing the young man''s arms from moving. The young man smelled of panic until he realized he wasn''t being attacked.


    His fear was still strong, but he held still finally, unsure what to do. Dad merely gave him a slight squeeze, the nature of a hug, before slowly releasing him. The young man looked down at a still cowering Lone Wolf with me lying protectively over him.


    "What do you want?" He asked in a shaky voice, looking back to dad.


    Dad laughed. "What the wolf always wants. Little Wolf?"


    I lifted my head and shifted my throat, keeping myself mostly wolf. I stayed down next to Lone Wolf. When I spoke I could tell I freaked the poor young man out, wolf speaking man words. His fear spiked again. My voice was rough and slightly growly, but the tone was peaceful, reverent.


    "Sun on our backs, ground beneath our feet, to hunt when we''re hungry. The companionship of friends and family, our song across the sky," I said.


    "It is all a wolf needs," said dad. "It is all a wolf desires. But more has been asked of you, demanded of you, than ever should have been. Not this night though, and not by any here. Come, join us if you wish. Come and know what it is to live as the wolf."


    Dad finished shifting to wolf then, a sudden drop to four paws that took mere seconds. He strode away, over to Old Grey, nudging the old wolf with his nose.


    I rose, shifting to two feet. I put my hand on the young man''s shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze. I smiled at him. He looked like a rabbit ready to bolt.


    "It''s all right," I reassured him. "This is a gathering of true wolves, summoned from around the world by Spirit Wolf himself. You heard his call and came. You should know your alpha heard it too. He refused to come. Since your alpha refused to show, we might as well enjoy the night. The sky is wide and the stars are clear. Who can appreciate the beauty of the night like the wolf?" I asked, finishing the question as I shifted back to wolf.


    For some reason it seemed important to demonstrate our superior ability to shift.


    Old Grey sounded out then, his old voice loud and clear. His song held an invitation for all true wolves to join together in the night.


    Dad let loose next. I heard the ethereal song that joined his from across the river even if no one else did. My own song was filled with the love I had for my family. It included my connection to all wolves as my song joined with dad''s.


    There was a long pause.


    I had to smile when Cherokee let loose his howl. It was the song of a life of freedom, and protecting those who needed protecting.


    There were more pauses, silences that were as much a part of our wolfsong as our howls. From each of them their song rang out true. They sang from their hearts, from their very beings.


    The small yellow and black Lobo wolf sang out. His song spoke of his joy in the wolf''s ability to travel thousands of miles as it followed the migration of its prey. His love of traveling was a note held throughout his howl.


    The strength in the struggle to survive in the harshest of environments and the surety of family came from the Arctic Wolf as his howl sang out in the night.


    True wolves, all of them. The others waited.


    I howled again, letting that alpha know I saw him, and disapproved. My song this time spoke of the truth of being wolf, of the wolf''s justice.


    It was a song that reverberated in the businessman. He lived by a code. He would protect his young charge with his life. It was strange, but small parts of his song sounded incomplete or slightly off-key. I wondered what his concept of justice was.


    The shy one sounded out next. He sounded resigned, tired of hiding, willing to accept the judgement of the wolf. The wolves around him found nothing to judge. He moved off, hiding himself from view when the silence grew. He had been expecting a challenge and sobbed in relief when there was none. I hoped in time he would find the courage to share his story.


    I was surprised when the old wolf rose. His grace in movement was exquisite. His shift as he approached the shy one was seamless. He put an arm around the shy one as the sobs continued. The old one whispered briefly to him, his words unclear to anyone else. The shy one nodded, got himself under control, shifted to wolf once more.


    They both walked back to the pointe, the old man''s hand resting on the other''s wolf shoulder. The old one''s seamless shift back to wolf once more as he approached the rock was a work of art. The old wolf lay back down.


    The shy one was aware of us behind him as he stood at the edge of the pointe. You could almost see the effort it took him to set us aside, to focus on the night sky. I smiled when I realized he was reaching out for Spirit Wolf, finally ready to be what he should have been all along. Free.


    The howl that split the night was filled with old pain and despair, shifting into years of hiding and loneliness, ending with a release into a new life that he was desperate to live. The poignancy in his cry was heart wrenching.


    I walked up to the pointe to stand next to him. I stood there for a moment before letting loose a howl. It was a song that spoke of the joy of life on four legs and the oneness all wolves shared.


    The wolf next to me was quick to join that song. It came from the depth of his being.


    All of the wolves around us joined in that eternal song of the wolf. We sang of the joy in life we had as part of Spirit Wolf''s pack, a pack all wolves belonged to. We could hear wolves in the distance joining our song.


    The wolves I didn''t hear were the young wolf who had yet to sound out in the night and Lone Wolf.


    Lone Wolf couldn''t howl. The young wolf had his jaws around Lone Wolf''s throat.

 28 Ch 28 Spirit Wolf

    Everyone reacted at the same time. There were growls and bared teeth. Dad moved to one side, Cherokee to the other. Arctic and Lobo also moved to take points to surround the odd couple.


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    The shy one had been too caught up in the joy of the group howl to realize what had happened. Old Grey merely sighed and moved to block the shy one so he couldn''t leave the pointe in a panic without pushing the old wolf out of the way.


    Businessman was actually the only one who shifted to human.


    "What the hell are you doing that for?" he asked the young wolf in confusion. He looked around at the reaction from the others, at a loss for what to do.


    I couldn''t react at first. I knew Lone Wolf wasn''t in any real danger. I finally stalked over to center myself in front of Lone Wolf and his companion. I rolled my shoulders, trying to decide whether to stand as man or stay wolf.


    My intense gaze caused Lone Wolf to make a decision of his own. He moved. It took me a moment to figure out what was he was doing, considering his wide throat was still being held.


    I shifted to man so I could tell the others what I saw.


    "Lone Wolf wants to speak. We might as well settle in; the last time I saw him change forms, it took about an hour. I''ll hear what he has to say before doing anything else," I told the group of wolves. "I do, however," I said, directing my last comment to the young wolf who seemed stuck holding onto Lone Wolf, "strongly suggest you let go of him."


    When he didn''t, my gaze narrowed and I shifted from the chest, dropping suddenly to all fours.


    "Now!" I roared in a voice barely human, growling and advancing.


    The young wolf let go, but didn''t move off. He stayed crouched over Lone Wolf, baring his teeth. I couldn''t understand why the idiot was acting like he was willing to take us all on.


    Wolves changing from thinking about attacking to wolves stalking their prey didn''t reduce tensions, merely changed them. There was a lot of pacing going on.


    Old Grey shifted, looking first at the shy one before looking back at me.


    "We will wait," the old man said, as if he spoke for the two of them. He shifted back to wolf and lay down to face the spectacle before him. It took a moment but the shy one finally laid down on the far side of Old Grey


    I shifted back to furred man. I kept my eyes on Lone Wolf. Even as his huge wolf changed to bulky man, he stayed down on all fours. While it was still a lengthy process for him, it didn''t seem as painful as the last time I watched him change. He made grunts and groans but no bitten back screams this time.


    When he was closer, but not totally, human, he looked directly at me... and winked. Then, looking down, he bowed his head slightly. He raised his head. Looking intently at me again, he gave me a second wink.


    Storyteller that I am, I understood what he was wanting. He wanted me to play up the Royal aspect to influence his companion. I tried to figure how to work that pitch without alienating the true wolves.


    While Cherokee and I didn''t share the same language, there was a few of his words I knew because of my love of stories. One phrase in particular was easy to remember and fit the situation at hand.


    "Trickster fox," I said to Cherokee in his language, giving a nod toward Lone Wolf. He just gave me a look, then a slow nod.


    "Black Wolf?" I figured dad understood. Dad let out a humph. He said something in Russian to Arctic and Spanish to Lobo.


    I couldn''t think of any way to give a heads up to the others without giving things away.


    "What are you saying? What''s happening here? I don''t understand," said the businessman, still confused.


    "Let me begin with how and why we are here in the first place. We were summoned by the Spirit of the Wolf himself," I said dramaticly. "Each of us, or in a few cases the person represented, heard his call.


    "We have gathered from around the world, representing all wolves. From the far northern tundra, from both the northern and southern American continents, and from the ancient Black Forest itself," I said, gesturing toward each wolf in turn as I spoke.


    "Those who have chosen life as wolf are represented," I said nodding toward Old Grey, "as well as those who have chosen life as man, like yourself and the one you represent, which is why you are here."


    Everything I had said so far was true, as far as I understood things. We had been gathered to meet and renew the connection between wolves.


    I was part of that connection. Brother to all wolves. It was not yet time for me to take the name waiting for me.


    Connecting wasn''t the only reason we were here.


    If Spirit Wolf were to have one law, it would be that no one was forced to become wolf. To be able to become wolf was an honor and a privilege. It should be a choice for those not born wolf.


    These wolves had been gathered to act as witnesses. These events were rooted in the breaking of that unspoken law. The witnesses were to insure this story would not be lost or forgotten. Whatever happened today was only part of that story. I knew there would be more. That twisted Alpha needed dealt with. The history of what made him how he was needed to be told.


    What I did next, well, my mom always told me I had a flair for the dramatic. I played my part to the hilt.


    I turned my gaze toward the wolf who had shifted to a young man. He still stood possessively behind Lone Wolf. I pulled myself even straighter. I shifted, slower than I usually did, concentrating on my face like I had for the girl in the fire. Focus was the key. It was harder doing it now on purpose with an audience like this, but I managed.


    I brought one furless hand up, dropping my gaze to examine my clawed fingers. I closed my fingers in one at a time.


    My wolf head moved forward just slightly as I brought my eyes back up to look at him over my clawed fist. I stood, obviously a man from the shoulders down. My next words were spoken incorporating wolf sounds.


    "We are the Royal Council of Wolves, brought together to judge those summoned by Spirit Wolf himself to face his council."


    Also true, as far as I knew, except the royal part, and my theatrics.


    Lone Wolf was about done shifting. I could see his nostrils flare as he hid his amusement at my theatrical wording. He knew his wink was the only reason I used the hated word royal. Suddenly his fear spiked again. He had finished shifting and looked up at me.


    I was practically in the form of some ancient Egyptian deity. I couldn''t remember which one had the dog head.


    Lone Wolf was on his knees, head bowed tight against his chest. He had one hand behind him, gesturing to his companion, silently begging the young man to be subservient and respectful before such a gathering.


    The young man hesitated. It was wolf that kept staring at him through my eyes. He looked away. I closed my eyes, drew on Spirit Wolf.


    A slight growl came from me, a demand for attention. When the young man looked back to me, I could see the fear in his eyes. He lowered his eyes and slowly went to his knees.


    I was suddenly a wolf on all fours. It wasn''t a normal shift and it wasn''t under my control. Spirit Wolf closed on him, circling tight again and again. When the young man started to shift, I growled.


    "Stay as man," Spirit Wolf and I growled as one. We used wolf sounds. "You deny the wolf."


    It was strange, feeling Spirit Wolf this time. I could feel the depth of the anger within him. It wasn''t anger the way I had been angry. It was judgement. There was anger but it was entwined with everything else. There was disappointment, regret... love.


    It was bold of me, perhaps, but I reminded Spirit Wolf that Lone Wolf had wished to speak.


    Spirit Wolf stopped circling the young man. He stood before him, huffing breathes through a grimacing and growling snout. The young man''s head bowed until his chin was against his chest. This seemed to satisfy Spirit Wolf.


    Spirit Wolf turned toward Lone Wolf. He put our nose against the tatted collar.


    Lone Wolf trembled and I couldn''t blame him. I could feel the love Spirit Wolf had for the big man. Spirit Wolf withdrew, taking a figurative back seat, letting me deal with the situation.


    No pressure, I thought wryly. I felt drained.


    My paw on that massive shoulder turned to hand as I shifted to man. I leaned on Lone Wolf for a second, taking a breath, feeling my body. One hand tilted his head up so he could see my smile and my exhaustion. My other hand brushed his hair back from his face.


    "Hey my friend," I said as I pulled myself to my feet. "What I tell you about this shit?" I pulled him to his feet after me. He didn''t want to stand but I insisted.


    Lone Wolf''s companion started to glance up and stand. I let out a small growl, a rumble really. The young man decided to stay down, keep his head down, and not interrupt.


    I put my hand to the side of Lone Wolf''s face again, applying pressure every time he tried to look down. I kept his eyes on me, just me looking out my eyes now.


    "You ready to be wolf yet?" I asked compassionately.

 29 Ch 29 Choice

    I felt sorry for Lone Wolf. He couldn''t do anything but stand there, and he could barely do that. Old terror wouldn''t let him go. His body twitched. My hand on his elbow was the only thing keeping him upright. He started to piddle and stopped himself.


    "Tree," I sighed, letting him go.


    When Lone Wolf was done, he came back before me. He had considered his options and came to some conclusion while he passed water.


    He knelt before me again, placing himself in front of his companion, keeping himself out of my reach. His eyes begged for my forgiveness. When he found his voice I couldn''t decide if he was talking to me or Spirit Wolf or both. Maybe he couldn''t tell the difference.


    "My lord." His voice choked on a held-back sob. "My Alpha," he half-whispered, "if you will have me. I offer myself to you in his stead. Command what you will of me. Please lord, do not hurt him. He..."


    I was already moving forward, placing my hands first on Lone Wolf''s head, then on his shoulders. He fell silent, unable to finish his plea. As much as he had planned to only play up the royal story, I knew his words were real. Silent tears ran down his face, falling on my toes. Once more I tilted his head up.


    "Foolish wolf," I said gently, "you''ve been mine since you first heard my name. You know there is only one command I could ever give you. Are you ready to obey?"


    When Lone Wolf started to look at his companion, I gently grabbed his chin; easy to do with him kneeling before me.


    "Uh-uh. Don''t you look to him for anything. Not anymore." I made him stand once more. "This has to be your choice, one you make freely."


    I let go, my smile still soft but I knew there was a teasing glimmer in my eyes. I was hoping Lone Wolf would be able accept the freedom of the wolf, even as I knew he would go back to that hell-hole.


    "Will you obey my command to learn of the wolf within you?" I asked. "I will never give you any other command. It is the only command I will ever, could ever, give, and it is a command you can refuse. The wolf should never be forced upon anyone."


    Lone Wolf gave me a slow nod as if he understood. I wasn''t interfering with his situation, just his personal life as man and wolf. There was a difference. The tension, at least a big part of it, seemed to just slide from him.


    "I''d like to know more about what I am, really know it," he said longingly. He was more desperate than the shy one to understand the wolf within him. It had been denied him for too long. "What about..." and he glanced at his companion.


    "What indeed?" I said thoughtfully.


    "I think Spirit Wolf was going to do something to him. I intervened because of you," I told Lone Wolf. "What your companion did was based on what he had been taught by another."


    "Is there a name we can call you?" I asked, turning to the still kneeling young man. "Go ahead and stand up," I added.


    He stood but didn''t answer. He kept his head bowed down.


    "He is Beta," Lone Wolf said.


    Mine wasn''t the only snort. No way any of us wolves were calling this tweeb Beta.


    "No," I said thoughtfully, grinning slightly. "I think until he earns his true name I''ll call him Sheep."


    There was a round of amused snorts, and a quiet glimmer of a growl from my dad warning me not to push things too far.


    At Sheep''s angry look I glared at him.


    "You''re Sheep," I told him harshly, "until the day comes you stop blindly following another. On that day you can tell me your true wolf name, but I''ll never call you something stupid like Beta. It''s a rank, isn''t it? Not a name? Every man deserves a name, just as every man deserves dignity... Which brings us to your judgement."


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    I paused for dramatic effect, and was gratified to watch him squirm.


    "There is a task set for you, the first step of an overdue journey. You get to go back to your alpha. You tell him all that happened here."


    He would take the story back to the alpha, who would freak out knowing there were so many different "royal" wolves. The alpha had taught his pack to obey royalty without question. That warped leader used it to force his pack to obey him without question. The reality of other royals would threaten his hold on them. He would want to prove his right to stand with the Royal wolves as a leader. He would come out of his city, in time.


    "You tell him things need to change. Sad part is I don''t even have to tell you what needs changed. You already know. You tell him, no man is to made wolf without it being that man''s choice. He bites anyone again and he will suffer Spirit Wolf''s wrath."


    The young man cringed, his increase in nervousness obvious to us all. He kept squirming, uncomfortable with the attention and my pronouncements.


    "I''ll tell you the truth. Me, personally, I want to charge in there right now, tear the shit out of him. But Lone Wolf begged for you to be given a chance. I''m giving it to you. Go take care of what is yours. Accept the responsibility you''ve been hiding from.


    "You will have him at your side," I told the young man I had dubbed Sheep, glancing at Lone Wolf. "As much as I want to command that he stay as far away from you as possible, I know his heart. He goes to protect others and I won''t, can''t, stop him. He is more wolf than that man you call alpha. Which reminds me..."


    I relaxed, becoming less commanding, more casual.


    "The first time I met Lone Wolf, I could barely get any words out of him. He had too much fear. He didn''t tell me anything about your pack other than how many are there. I don''t know exactly where it is, but I assure you Spirit Wolf does. So, you make sure your alpha doesn''t lash out at Lone Wolf in anger. He''s under my protection and I won''t have him harmed.


    "Look at me!" I commanded sharply as Sheep''s nervous gaze started to dart about. His breathing was close to hyperventilating. The smell of fear on him was stronger now than that coming from Lone Wolf.


    "Do you understand what I mean, everything I mean, when I say he is not to be harmed? None of the wolves there are to be harmed. You understand me? It has to stop."


    He nodded slowly, understanding, I hoped, that I meant the abuse, both physical and sexual.


    "Good, because no wolf should live in fear. All deserve dignity. You see to it. And names. He is Lone Wolf. Say it."


    The young man I had dubbed Sheep swallowed hard, the words coming out barely above a whisper, "His name is Lone Wolf."


    Sheep''s underlying fear was growing as his head bowed in submission to me. I hated commanding him, but I was playing by his rules. He needed this to be able to stand up to his alpha, the command of someone with undeniable authority over him. When he spoke to his alpha, he would be using my authority and not his own. That alpha was already afraid of me, of Spirit Wolf.


    "Good," I said nodding. I took a cleansing breath, suddenly wishing for some peaceful time with my pipe.


    I turned back to Lone Wolf. My eyes swept over the gathered wolves, stopping on the shy one. Somehow he was tied to all this, I just didn''t know how. I needed to connect with him on a more personal level somehow. Suddenly I had a great idea. There was one way to join together and connect as wolves.


    "Now that we have that settled," I said, expelling a breath and taking in another deep one before continuing, "anyone interested in a hunt?"

 30 Ch 30 A True Pack

    "Think of your motorcycle," I told Lone Wolf. "When you drive you remember what you see and keep looking ahead. More to remember as a wolf, but same concept. No, keep your head up, focus in front of you."


    Lone Wolf was trying. The true wolves and the shy one had gone off to see if there was any prey nearby. The rest stayed back with me, ranging in a large field, waiting for the true wolves to herd anything they might find our way. Old Grey was lounging around somewhere.


    While real wolves would chase prey to weaken it for days if needed, I had a human life that didn''t allow for a prolonged hunt right now. I had Mahina waiting for me. If they didn''t find anything nearby they would just come back.


    Real wolves also grew up learning how to work together. The businessman, Lone Wolf, and the young wolf Sheep had never hunted before.


    I was still laughing over Sheep. He stayed away from me. He kept to the outskirts, away from any conversation where anyone would address him.


    Old Grey had risen to man-form and called him Sheep once, I think just to test him. The young wolf had attacked the old one. Old Grey had quickly flowed back into wolf form at his approach and faced him with fangs bared. The old man had spent most of his life with wolves and quickly had the younger wolf submitting. I wondered if Sheep realized he was the omega in this pack of true wolves.


    "Good," I called out to the businessman, watching him lope by. I focused on Lone Wolf.


    "Keep your shoulders level with your rump. The body kinda stays in a horizontal line. Pick up your speed a little. A lope is similar to jogging as far as speed. Focus in front of you."


    Better. I called them in before they wore themselves out. We gathered over by Old Grey.


    "Sheep, get over here. You need to learn about hunting too."


    Sheep came, a mix of anger and shame. He instinctively kept his head down as he crouched in closer, tail between his legs. He only came so close.


    "Now, elk and deer aren''t defenseless. Watch for hooves and antlers. A kick can break your jaw. If you get tossed by antlers, you might end up with busted ribs... or worse," I added sternly.


    "Wolves work as a team," I continued. "If you can''t do that," I said with a glance at Sheep, "stay back. While some of us harass and distract the prey from one side, the other side is open to attack.


    "Ever wonder why dogs and wolves naw on bones, chew on them? You need to be sure of your own strength. As wolf, your jaws can break bones. Don''t go for a quick snap on the front leg unless you plan on snapping hard enough to break bones.


    "If you can get the right hold on a back leg, you cause drag. The more drag the better, which is why wolves mob a bigger animal. I even grabbed a tail once. You have to watch for a kick if your hold isn''t good so watch out. A few others rush it from the side, getting it down. Knowing where to hit to knock it off balance enough for it to fall is one reason why we play around rushing each other. The moment it''s down and can''t kick, someone goes for its throat.


    "Teamwork is the key, taking advantage of whatever opening you see. Once one wolf has done that, it makes an opening for another wolf to take advantage of, creating a chain effect."


    I looked them over before I moved on, pleased with their attention.


    "Next drill is leaping. I learned how to leap while playing with rabbits as a pup. It''s in, quick harassing snap, leap away. Move far enough away so you are sure what your prey is doing. Leaps are how you change direction. Let me show you. Lone Wolf, pounce at me."


    I shifted quickly to wolf. Lone Wolf came at me, moving faster than I thought the big man could, and I leapt away. I partially shifted and motioned him to try again before going back to wolf. My third leap had me on his back, a quick nip, then leaping off his back.


    Why was I not surprised when he went belly up? I nosed him, laughing. He rolled back over.


    I pounced at him. He stood there. I shook my head.


    Businessman gave a snort. I grinned and pounced at him. He jumped to the side. I pounced again. Another jump. I shifted.


    "We aren''t playing jump rope. You''re focusing on moving your body sideways. Too much man-thinking. Use back legs to leap. Try this. Stay wolf, stand on your two back legs, jump as high as you can. When you are in man-form, you move in any direction. Same concept as a wolf. When you come down, leap again."


    Both businessman and Lone Wolf worked at it for awhile. Sheep still stood back, which didn''t please me. With a growl I pounced on him. He started fighting back. I half shifted, pinning him with a wrestling hold.


    "Stop being an idiot. This is practicing simple basic skills. Attack me again and I''ll... you know what? I think I will anyway."


    I let go of him, shifted to full wolf, and tore into him. I didn''t really hurt him, but did give him a few nips. I don''t think even his alpha had ever gone at him with full wolf ferociousness. He submitted beneath me with a yelp and some whimpers.


    I only shifted enough to talk.


    "Leap!" I growled as I moved off him.


    I pounced and he leaped. I think I had motivated him to stay out of my reach. I kept stalking and pouncing at him. He did an excellent job of leaping away. I stopped when his fear hit borderline panic.


    "Good. You did good, real good" I praised him, backing off. I nodded as his eyes widened. I was barely shifting enough to speak at this point. My praise surprised him.


    I turned to businessman, ignoring Old Grey''s silent laughter. Businessman seemed to understand what I had done in the course of disciplining Sheep. My pouncing toward him didn''t have the same intense stalking to it. He did better this time. I moved so he would have to leap quickly in different directions.


    "Much better, real leaping that time."


    I turned to Lone Wolf. He was breathing hard, mostly from fear. I knew he wasn''t afraid of me like he was that alpha. What they were all learning was a wolf''s respect for their pack''s alpha, the way real wolves react to their leader.


    "Lone Wolf my friend, leaping involves moving. You ready to leap away from me when I pounce this time?"


    He nodded and I pounced. He made a good leap, especially with his bulk. A few more pounces and decent leaps from him impressed me. He was learning fast.


    We were interrupted by distance howls. I grinned.


    "They found something. Relax, let yourself be wolf, and enjoy yourself."


    I took off so I could join in the hunt. My trail would give the true wolves a guiding path to herd in what they found. I came in, swerving off to the side. I made sure I was out of the elk''s way. I took my usual place opposite dad behind it, helping to drive it forward.


    It was a joy running with these wolves, even if it was only for a short distance. I could feel the connection, the oneness with which we moved. When we hit the open field Old Grey joined in.


    Businessman came up on the left front suddenly, making the elk veer to the right, right toward Lone Wolf who rushed it and leapt up. His aim was off but he improvised and bit it firmly on its nose to avoid the antlers. Lone Wolf''s bulk had the elk stumbling, which gave the shy one the opening to break a front leg.


    It was good team work and I was proud of them. I saw an opening and went in to finish it off while Arctic and Cherokee were nipping at it from the other side. I felt exalted as I watched the light leave its eyes. I was wolf brain then, rejoicing in the skills of my pack.


    I fought off all of them to claim the first bite. It wasn''t really fighting, as much as claiming position. Most of them were standing back. Businessman and the shy one had come in to bite into it and I warned them off, the shy one was confused but Businessman nodded respectfully.


    I tore into the underbelly of the elk, ripping it open. I went for some choice pieces. I only took a few token bites before looking up and  allowing the others in. Dad came in first, relaxed and looking proud. The other true wolves came in next, slowly, one by one. They were spaced out around the elk, none getting near me.


    Where real wolves would fight over a kill for dominance positioning, we only had limited jockeying for position. We had too much human respect for each other to give into full wolf fights over who had a higher rank by such small degrees.


    The wolves that were with me in the field earlier were too unsure of things to push forward after my assertion of alpha dominance. They came in slower, respectfully. I growled at any that came too close to me.


    Finally it was just Lone Wolf and Sheep who weren''t eating from the elk.


    Lone Wolf made no move to approach. He stayed back and watched.


    Sheep had tried to come in at different places. Everyone drove him off, tearing into him, pinning him down, making him submit. He was omega of this wolf pack and didn''t know it, but he was learning. I could smell his confusion and his desperation to be one with the pack.


    I shifted enough to call Lone Wolf to come in next to me. He came in crouching, hesitant. I didn''t mind this time. It satisfied the wolf in me. He ripped a piece off, then moved a short distance away. He ate slowly, unsure of his place, keeping his eyes on me, making sure he had my approval. He came back in for a bigger chunk.


    The only one not at the elk at this point was Sheep.


    He finally crawled close to Lone Wolf, sure that the huge wolf wouldn''t attack him. He was wrong. Lone Wolf started with just a growl that made Sheep pause. Sheep crawled forward a bit more. When Lone Wolf growled this time Sheep growled back.


    Lone Wolf took an aggressive stance over his hunk of meat, showing more teeth when he growled. It was too much for the young wolf that was used to dominating the wolf that was twice his size. He attacked Lone Wolf.


    Everyone stopped eating to watch. Lone Wolf didn''t pin him down, content with merely driving him away. I was his alpha now and I had granted Lone Wolf the right to eat. No other wolf had the right to take that away from him. I was proud that he stood up for himself. I hadn''t been sure he could.


    I shifted to man, looking at the emotionally hurt and confused young wolf. His world had been turned upside down. Nothing he had been taught was helping him in an all wolffish environment.


    "Do you not understand that you haven''t earned the right to eat with the hunters? In this pack, you have the lowest rank."


    I refrained from calling him an omega. He still needed to face his city alpha. I got less stern with him, offering a level of acceptance, if not true oneness with the pack. Pack acceptance also had to come from him. Sheep had, for the most part, kept himself withdrawn from our group, even if he had tried to integrate himself into us around the elk carcass.


    It was odd to watch Sheep go from aloof to craving acceptance. Having a real pack of this caliber around him was affecting him. The needs of the wolf were growing in him. The desire to be part of this pack was like an unquenchable thirst. He didn''t understand the way of the wolf he was feeling. Right now he was the only one who didn''t.


    I sighed, evaluating him. He was scared, confused, worried, almost in a panic at being driven away by every wolf there. I was worried he would bolt.


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    "You are wolf, and I will not deny you a share of this kill, but you will show respect to those who are your betters. You did nothing on this hunt. You still haven''t accepted the wolf within you.


    "You will eat when everyone else has finished. And you will eat. I''m sure the more attitude you have will convince the others to take longer to eat their fill."


    I shifted back to wolf then, eating more, pacing around,  attacking the others in mock fights that had all of them respectfully submitting to me, even Cherokee.


    My omega Sheep kept his eyes on me, watching the interactions between the wolves around him as they growled, ate, mocked fought. There was no attitudes. Even after any fights, there was obvious respect between the pack members. No one held grudges. The pack was one.


    A rustling off to the side had my attention. I loped over to investigate. The local pack of real wolves had arrived, all but the pregnant female. I was guessing that by now she was possibly nursing newborn pups. By the time spring came around, the pups would be out and exploring the world.


    I stood tall with my ears turned forward. The other alpha and his pack were content to wait. I paced in front of them. Most of my pack was done eating.


    As the real wolves moved in a bit closer, I growled to Sheep that it was time for him to eat. He was almost petrified to go to the elk. I came in behind him and drove him toward the elk.


    He nervously and with whimpers ripped a small bite from the carcass. I stood over him, insisting he eat. He couldn''t stop whimpering, the whites of his eyes showing. His glances kept going from me to the real wolves back to me.


    I chuckled, amused. I shifted enough to speak, keeping mostly wolf.


    "You''ve never seen real wolves before have you? Well take a look, you might learn something about respect and dignity."


    I put my nose on him then, licking his muzzle and putting my head over his back.


    "Relax. They won''t hurt you, I won''t let them. Go ahead and eat, try and relax, it''s ok."


    I kept whispering assurances to him, kept my head over him. He accepted my protection, went for another nibble. I think at some level he accepted more than that. I think possibly, finally, he was beginning to accept something of the wolf inside him.

 31 Ch 31 By the Fire

    We ranged around our kill for a little while, even after I allowed the other pack to come in and finish it off. I wanted those who had never encountered real wolves to see some in action.


    \"Don''t pay attention to the alpha right now,\" I told Sheep. \"Watch the ones off to the side.\"


    I pointed out how they were jockeying for position, hoping to grab a bite from what was left of the carcass. The alpha was dominating it right now, gorging himself.


    \"He has a pregnant mate holed up in a den somewhere. He''ll eat until he can''t hold anymore, then go back to her and regurgitate so she can eat. Not my favorite way to eat a meal but she''ll eat without risking the future of the pack.\"


    We watched them for awhile. Businessman was intent on listening and watching. I could tell he had a ton of questions he was biting back.


    Fake dawn had me leading everyone back toward the pointe. I felt tired but good. I gave a wolffish grin to Lone Wolf running at my side. He grinned back, knowing he was moving so much better now. My laughter welled up in me, and I let loose a howl appreciating this pack of wolves around me.


    Lone Wolf''s eyes lit up. I think he heard himself included in my howl. He let loose... something.


    There was laughter all around as everyone joined in howling playfully. Everyone except Sheep who followed behind everyone else.


    Lone Wolf kept howling like a wolf possessed, all of his excitement from the hunt coming out in his howls. It wasn''t really even a song. It was like he was telling the sky about tonight''s hunt. His story was coming out with yowls, howls, grunts, huffs, snarls and even a bark, but it all centered around howling.


    He rushed at the others, barking and growling, snapping and swatting. I watched to see if anyone complained. No one did. Everyone was content to play with him. It was good to see him accepted and connecting with everyone there. There was wolffish laughter as he continued to yowl and howl. I let him get it out of his system. He was being wolf, and he had gone without a voice for too long.


    The night had gotten cold which didn''t bother us too much as wolves, but to sit and talk as men was a different story.


    As we approached the pointe, I leapt up the tree that held the permanent cache that dad and I kept up here. There wasn''t a tree I couldn''t climb with my claws out, as long as it could hold my weight. Lobo was surprised to see me climb so easily, shifting between man and wolf to use all of his senses.


    \"Watch out below!\"


    I dropped the burlap sack, watching as Dad snatched it out of the way, pulling Lobo away from the tree as well.


    \"Trust me, last place you want to be is under that tree right now.\"


    I grinned as I let loose a stream, marking the top of the tree to make squirrels and such think twice about encroaching.


    Before long a small fire was going. Old Grey was the first one to claim a spot at it, curled up as a wolf. Dad handed one blanket to businessman. I handed Sheep the other blanket myself. He looked up at me in surprise.


    \"Go ahead,\" I said with a small smile, \"I''ve got a coat.\"


    I was pleased when he put the blanket around Lone Wolf''s wide shoulders. My eyes narrowed as he sat in front of the big man, who had shifted back to human much faster this time. Sheep was getting body heat from behind and fire in front. Lone Wolf and I shared a look. Lone Wolf just smiled and put his arms loosely around his charge.


    I shifted enough to be man with a wolf coat covering my body, like my dad had earlier. This was my most comfortable mid-shift to hold, and the one Dad and I used most often when camping during the winter.


    Arctic was content to stay wolf, as was almost everyone else. Lobo was trying to find the right shift.


    \"How do you hold it so long?\" he asked. He kept sliding out of the mid-shift after about a ten count.


    \"Lots of practice I guess. Dad taught me.\"


    Dad was sitting there, furred man-form, same as I.


    \"I used to look around an old abandoned monastery as a teen,\" Dad said. \"Hard to look through left-behind books with wolf paws. That broken stone building didn''t have heating,\" he added laughing. \"I''d be there for hours, trying to learn what I could. Man form by itself would have had me dead with frostbite.\"


    I didn''t miss Cherokee''s sudden and intense stare my way.


    \"Why didn''t you just go to the library, or start a fire?\" asked Businessman.


    \"Because there wasn''t a library in the Black Forest,\" Dad said with humor, \"and what does a wolf need with fire?\"


    \"There would have been one in whatever town you lived in though,\" countered Businessman.


    Dad sighed.


    \"I came out of the Black Forest,\" Dad said. At Businessman''s blank look, Dad sighed again.


    \"My grandmother was the alpha female of the local wolf pack. I''m not sure what village my mother was from. My father, grandfather and I stayed in the forest.


    Almost everyone was surprised at what Dad said. Businessman didn''t get it at first, looking even more confused. Old Grey did one of his seamless shifts.


    \"Born of wolves. Noble born,\" the old man said before shifting back to wolf.


    \"My father, yes,\" Dad reiterated. \"My mother was human. She died giving birth to me.\"


    \"As did my wife when my daughter was born,\" said Businessman. \"To bear a werewolf child was too much for her.\"


    Arctic shifted, moving closer to the fire for warmth, to join in the conversation.


    \"Difficult, but not impossible for both to survive. My matron stayed to tend a she-wolf who will be delivering soon.\"


    He didn''t say, but I got the impression it was his child waiting to be born.


    Sheep, Lone Wolf and the shy one all looked on wide-eyed as the conversation lingered for awhile on pregnancies and werewolf children. I needed a distraction when Dad, Businessman, and Cherokee started comparing notes, with Arctic asking questions. Apparently the young boy from the forest fire was Cherokee''s son.


    I was sitting next to Lone Wolf. I reached over and gave a gentle tap on Sheep''s arm.


    \"Sit over here. Try wearing a coat.\"


    My manner was calm, not demanding or aggressive. His panicked look at me saw only acceptance and friendship in return. Lone Wolf helped him decide by literally lifting him up a little and sliding him over between us. Good, I thought, I need him away from Lone Wolf.


    Sheep managed to hold the mid-shift for a short while, but like Lobo, kept sliding back either to man or wolf. He would catch himself and bring it back to where he wanted it before his shift was complete. It was kinda funny to watch his shifting slide around.


    Lone Wolf focused on the fire. I could tell the shifting next to him made him uncomfortable. I reached around Sheep and swatted his arm.


    \"You know you can try too. You don''t have to, but nothing is stopping you,\" I said gently. He tensed up. At least he didn''t react like last time I had suggested it.


    \"He can''t, he was bitten, not born,\" said Sheep.


    That was all the confirmation I needed as to why Lone Wolf had risked bringing his companion; a born wolf, royal of his pack. Born into the pack, not kidnapped, and I could guess never knowing chains. This kid was only a few years younger than me, raised in that alpha''s cage.


    Sheep had everyone''s attention. His comment was the distraction I had hoped for. The reactions varied from Dad''s eyes glinting with anger to the old man who had quickly shifted from wolf to man and was laughing to the point of tears.


    \"My bitten wife had no problem holding a mid-shift,\" said Dad. \"She had no problem shifting at all,\" he said with a bit of heat.


    There were a few nods in agreement from some, curiosity from others.


    \"We practiced all the time,\" I added, \"whereas that alpha of yours,\" I said turning to Sheep, \"tries to keep the others from shifting.\"


    \"Can''t stop a wolf from being a wolf,\" Old Grey finally got out between chuckles. It was like the old man had told himself the punchline of a private joke.


    I caught the sudden tightening and nervousness in the shy one as he moved off some. No one had pushed him for a name, and so far he had offered none. I wondered at his odd reaction.


    \"All gone now,\" the old man said sobering up. \"some to man-towns, some to other wolf packs, some dead from bad hunts or man-guns,\" he reminisced. \"Just me here now.\"


    \"Not just you, old one,\" I said. \"Though some day perhaps you will tell us the stories of those who are gone.\"


    There were agreeing murmurs around the fire. The old man shifted back to wolf, melancholy from his memories. No one was willing to let him remain so sorrowful. The old wolf soon found himself surrounded by the others. Pack acceptance, family connection. I could feel it.


    I shifted to full wolf, circled around to herd the shy one in. When he stopped moving he had my head over his back. My mouth was by his ear.


    \"To be alone is your own choice,\" I growled in a whispering tone, \"or, not alone,\" I added as I gave him a shove toward the pack.


    He was startled, but headed in to lay next to Old Grey. The others made room for him. It seemed the two of them were beginning to form their own special bond.


    I shifted all the way to man. I needed to be all man for what I said next. I walked back to the fire, keeping my gaze on Sheep from across the flames.


    \"There is one other thing I need to make sure you understand before we all go our separate ways,\" I said, because true dawn had arrived.


    \"Sheep, tell me what an omega is,\" I commanded sternly, standing tall with my arms crossed against my chest.


    \"Omegas are domestics...\"

 32 Ch 32 Omega

    A domestic! I could have laughed. Sheep didn''t disappoint me.


    I didn''t wait, especially since I knew roughly what he was going to say and had given some thought to how to handle his ignorance. It was one reason I had made sure the shy one wouldn''t bolt.


    I lunged across the fire, knowing he wouldn''t expect it. The force of my body slamming into his moved both of us away from Lone Wolf. I kept myself human, completely human. I soon had Sheep pinned where he couldn''t move.


    Sheep needed to have his alpha''s hold over him broken. He needed to be overpowered by the authority of another alpha, or he would never be able to stand up to the warped alpha who controlled him. Most of all, he really needed to understand the driving dynamics of his city pack.


    Sheep shifted under me. If he thought I hadn''t fought this way then he was crazy. I don''t know how many times as a kid, especially when we fought during my early teen years, dad had me pinned no matter how I shifted. I learned.


    I put leverage on his legs so they would feel the pressure and the tension. Wolf legs can only move certain ways. The way I had him pinned I could easily push a leg out of joint. I wasn''t aiming for breaking bones but I could if it came down to it.


    I had one arm wrapped around his head, effectively muzzling him. My knees squeezed his midriff below his rib cage making it hard for him to breathe. He shifted back to human, back to wolf, back to human. I adjusted my hold with every shift. He became wolf once more. I stayed human throughout. He couldn''t escape me. When he realized this, he held still, growling. He was breathing hard, more from anger than exertion.


    \"If you''re ready to listen? I asked you what an omega is. What wolf needs someone to sweep the floor, do laundry, or cook?\" I asked derisively. \"There is no such thing as a domestic servant in a pack of wolves. And humans,\"  I stressed, \"don''t have alphas, betas or omegas. So, when I ask you to tell me what an omega is, what do you suppose your answer should be?\"


    He shifted to man again, struggling briefly but didn''t answer. I knew it was pride that kept him silent, even if he thought it was anger that kept him from speaking.


    \"Come on, it''s easy. You say ''I don''t know what an omega is''.\"


    Another attempted break for freedom and more silence.


    \"Unless you do know? Somehow I don''t think you do. And you need to! Let''s try this. ''No Sir, I don''t know what an omega is'', or is that asking to much of you?\" My sarcastic tone was designed to push his buttons.


    More struggling made me laugh out loud at him. He was pissed.


    \"Ok, I''m going to cut you a break, before Lone Wolf decides to challenge me,\" I said with a voice filled with humor. Lone Wolf''s spike in fear had me hoping he used a tree very soon.


    \"A simple yes or no answer. Do you know what it means to be an omega in a pack of natural, real, forever stuck on four legs, wolves?\"


    A long pause, during which I squeezed my grip around his throat just a bit tighter for a second, demanding he answer me.


    \"No.\"


    Finally! Once he answered I let him go, rolling clear.


    My first order of business was putting a hand on Lone Wolf''s shoulder to reassure him and to urge him to take care of his business, turning him around and giving him a small shove toward the trees.


    I walked around for a bit, gathering a bit more deadwood to feed to the fire. Look at me, being a domestic wolf! I had to laugh at myself.


    Dad was mostly human again, sitting by the fire, looking on with pride. Most of the others were calm, waiting to see what happened next. Businessman and the shy one were the only ones who''s scent was tinged with fear.


    Once I had the fire built up again, I sat down and waited. Lone Wolf came and sat down next to me. He glanced once at me before raking his eyes over the gathered wolves. Calm, expectant waiting looks was all he saw, except for Businessman who looked at him with pity.


    Watching Lone Wolf lower his head in defeat saddened me. Somehow despite his nervous glances toward Sheep, he managed to keep his head bowed down, finally settling in, keeping his chin against his chest. At least he was only sitting, hugging his knees against his chest and not kneeling.


    It hurt me to watch Lone Wolf''s defeated personality coming back to the fore after he had experienced the freedom of a wolf. It was harder to wait, giving Sheep time to act on his own. He didn''t. He just stood there, silently seething. He refused to look at any of us. I had embarrassed him and in his mind, judging from Lone Wolf''s reaction, shamed him.


    \"Well come on,\" I finally said gently, \"no sense in freezing. Come by the fire,\" I said calmly.


    There was no command from me, but neither did I beg him. I could tell he reacted to my words. The wolf in him still craved acceptance. The man in him thought he had been denied it. Yet here I was, offering him a place by the fire. The contradiction made him unsure of what to do, so he stood there, less angry, more confused and unsure of himself.


    Lone Wolf finally stirred, looking up at me. That pernicious werewolf dared wink at me!


    \"Please, my lord, my alpha, I would hear your words. And my Beta, please,\" the big man''s voice lowered to a whisper, \"please my Beta,\" he begged, \"please, please be willing to listen. I need...\" he couldn''t go on, silent tears falling.


    Once again he played the Royal card, calling me lord for his companion''s sake. Once again he meant every word he said. And he knew I would let him get away with it because of that wink!


    The abuse he''d suffered under false presumptions, believing he had no choice, believing he deserved his treatment because of the lies and the terror fed to him by that sick alpha... it was all too much. The truth was waiting and his companion''s stubbornness was denying him that truth.


    Despite his need, Lone Wolf would not yell, scold, even mildly fuss at the young man he called Beta. This bulky, collared, muscled man abjectly begged. It sickened me.


    \"Will you deny him the truth of what he is?\" I asked softly.


    I was surprised at the tears in Sheep''s eyes when he turned around. He actually tried to comfort the big man, kneeling next to him, stroking his face.


    \"I will hear you for his sake,\" he said, his voice controlled, with just a hint of anger still. And he still wouldn''t look at me.


    \"Good enough,\" I said. I took a moment to shift enough to increase my sense of smell. My link with Spirit Wolf widened.


    \"The real wolf alpha male and female are the breeding pair of the pack. If something happens to them, someone needs to step up, which means the others need to practice dominating, or being in charge, which in turn means someone has to be dominated. The omega serves that purpose. He gets dominated by everyone, but not bullied. Do you understand the difference?\"


    \"No.\"


    It was spoken quietly, speaking because an answer was expected and he felt forced to, eyes focused on the fire. Lone Wolf had moved Sheep back in front of him, hugging his arms around the younger man. I think Sheep was closer to me than he wanted to be. He wouldn''t look at the others either.


    \"If the omega gets out of line, and by that I mean acting more dominant than the others, they chew him out. If they just jump on him for no reason, they might get chewed out by the alpha or beta. It''s part of the learning experience.


    \"If some mid level wolf isn''t, let''s say, using an alpha''s wisdom, then that wolf gets disciplined so he learns how to dominate the pack properly. The mid-level wolf gets punished for bullying instead of disciplining the omega. Mid-level wolf learns how to be alpha-ish. Make sense?\"


    I watched Sheep. I could tell my words made no sense to him but he wouldn''t admit it. I tried again.


    \"It''s all about learning what to do when you become the breeding pair, the alphas of the pack. A leader who only bullies will get the pack killed. The leaders won''t let those younger wolves, who are learning how to be a leader, get away with behavior that will hurt the pack.\"


    Sheep made a slow thoughtful nod.


    \"Ok then. Here''s an amazing thing. The omega can have a special relationship with the alpha. See, the omega isn''t going to attack his leader. If it''s just the two of them, the alpha can let his guard down, be himself, not be vigilant one hundred percent of the time. Same with the beta. They can actually relax and be friends with the omega. They''ll keep him in his place, but might tolerate more from him than others will.\"


    I watched him, but more I smelt him. This had long been my specialty, gauging emotions.


    \"You''ve seen this?\" I asked, knowing he was comparing what I said with the human interactions he had seen.


    \"Yes.\"


    I was slightly amused by his one word answers.


    \"That''s not all an omega does. The omega is usually the one who instigates play. Among wolves, what purpose does play serve?\"


    \"Teaches skills.\"


    I smiled. Two words! We were working our way to a conversation.


    \"The omega will also break tension. He might try to play with the alpha to distract him. If a young mid-level wolf is thinking about testing his skills and the omega knows he''s far from ready, the omega might distract, challenging the mid-level wolf, taking a chewing out. He''d be saving the young wolf from a beat down he isn''t ready for.\"


    That wasn''t exactly how it went, but close enough. I kept my focus on Sheep. I could feel his fondness for Lone Wolf increase.


    \"You''ve seen that too?\"


    \"Yes.\"


    \"How does the omega know the strength of the members of the pack to make that kind of call?\"


    Sheep was quiet for a minute.


    \"Because they all test their skills on him.\"


    \"Yes. Do you understand what you just said?\"


    He looked at me. I could tell I had thrown him back into confusion. And he had finally looked at me.


    \"Do you remember when I told you Lone Wolf was more wolf than your alpha? Even before he learned all he did tonight? Do you see why?\"


    \"No.\"


    \"If you had to sum up what the omega does, how would you?\"


    \"Breaks tension and helps with training.\"


    \"And plays,\" I added. It told me a lot that the first thing he said was breaks tension. \"Now, what is the purpose of the training? What skills are being tested?\"


    He wasn''t looking at me again. He knew the conclusion I was bringing him to. He couldn''t bring himself to say it.


    I gave him a nudge on his arm, grinning at him. He couldn''t ignore me. I gave a slightly harder shove. He sighed.


    \"Training to be an alpha.\"


    The words were pulled out of him. There was so much held inside of this young man. I watched him struggle with what he thought was the truth. He was being trained to lead his pack. Even if he had considered being the alpha of his pack, I don''t think he considered that it might truly become a reality until he met us.


    He was missing the whole point of this conversation.


    \"Surviving actually,\" I grinned. \"For real wolves, it comes down to surviving and breeding. Eventually those younger wolves will grow up and try to breed, after they have learned what they need to survive. The omega is part of that process.


    \"Now, look at Lone Wolf and tell me what you see. No wait,\" I cut him off, \"wrong question. What is Lone Wolf? That''s the question.\"


    \"He''s an omega.\"


    \"See, and that''s why I would tackle you again, if I thought you needed it. Do you actually see a wolf inside a man who wasn''t allowed to be a wolf? Or do you see a man, who happens to be able to be a wolf?\"


    He was confused again, and this time afraid of giving me the wrong answer. He knew I could defeat him. He knew I didn''t need to. This is what separated me from his other alpha. I was training him, teaching him. The other alpha dominated him. I disciplined him only enough to make my point. I gave him respect and acceptance when he earned it. I didn''t want to think about what that other alpha gave him.


    Once I had thought that my dad was a wolf in a man''s world. It was a world he could function in, be accepted in. This young wolf before me knew nothing of the world, and before tonight had known nothing of the wolf.


    \"He''s a man,\" Sheep finally answered hesitantly.


    \"Yes! See?\" I interrupted before he could add anything else. \"A man, not a wolf! Where is the dignity that is due a man, the common respect for any man, unless they prove themselves unworthy? You''ve got a man acting like an omega wolf instead of being treated like a man.\"


    \"That''s how you''ve been raised. Am I right? Men being treated as if they were wolves?


    He didn''t want to acknowledge that truth either. If he did, and I said it was wrong, he would have to admit his whole life was wrong. He wanted to defend it and didn''t know how.


    \"What happens when they act like men instead of wolves?\" I asked. \"How does that alpha of yours react?\"


    I knew I wasn''t the only one who could smell the embarrassment and shame, the fear and nervousness when he thought of his old alpha.


    \"Look, it''s ok. Time to move forward. I know where you need to start, with everything you''ll need to be a man in the world. Lone Wolf, help him get a GED.\"


    Lone Wolf nodded. Sheep looked back and forth between us having no idea what we were talking about.


    \"You''ve never been to school, have you? No idea what a GED is?\"


    I looked at him, trying to keep his dignity. His pack''s royal, never let outside for fear he would be harmed. He couldn''t see that he was as screwed up as Lone Wolf. Or maybe he did? I shook my head, gave a little laugh.


    \"Man, have you missed out! No art class, no phys ed, no sports teams, no girl watching. No satisfaction when you do some project and get a good grade, no rejoicing over all those accomplishments. No frustration trying to learn something that seems impossible. No boredom,\" I added with a laugh.


    Right now I was one of the guys like in high school. My body language, tone of my voice... yet I was so naturally wolf. I looked at him again.


    The emotions were pouring out of him, seeping from under a lid that was about to blow if I managed to hit the right nerve. He didn''t know how to deal with emotions. He had always been forced to squelch them. He had been dominated. He had never been himself.


    I pitied him.


    \"Haven''t you ever wanted that for yourself?\" I asked. \"What do you think when you hear the others in your pack talk about what their human life was like before they were bitten?\"


    \"They aren''t allowed to talk about their past.\"


    \"And why is that I wonder?\"


    Shame filled him. He had so much to deal with. I could see him trembling with all that bottled emotion. I stopped pushing. I didn''t want him to blow here, I needed him to blow in front of his alpha, so he could face the truth and deal with it. He was so close now I knew it would happen. I put my hand on his shoulder, turning to him, giving him my undivided attention.


    \"Look, enough for now. You have a lot to think about.\"


    He didn''t try to remove my hand. If anything he leaned into it slightly. The look he gave me was filled with so much. Hidden pain, longing for what I spoke of, jealously over the life I''ve had. He was still looking for that acceptance, desperate for it. He was using Lone Wolf as a surrogate. I smiled at him.


    \"We can be friends, right?\" I asked him gently, making the offer. I gave his shoulder a slight squeeze.


    Tears welled up in him but didn''t spill. He looked at me in defeat.


    \"Because you''re the alpha and I''m you''re omega,\" he choked out.


    \"No,\" I answered him firmly, \"because we are two human guys who are close to the same age with stuff in common. As your friend, I want to make sure you understand the truth. I want to help you. I want you to live, really live.\"


    I gave him a minute. He couldn''t think outside of the pack structure he had been taught. But I had opened a door for him to accept my offer of friendship. I doubt he''d ever had a real friend.


    \"Look, there is a fundamental truth that almost everyone here understands. We are wolves. We are men. We are both. Man with the ability to be wolf. Wolf with the ability to be man.


    \"Being one does not negate the other.


    \"You can''t treat people as wolves. You have to treat people as people. Even when I''m all wolf, I understand what it is to be man. As man, I understand what it is to be wolf. There''s a balance.


    \"Can you not understand? An omega is a wolf, and wolves are animals. The miracle of being what we are is not being able to change form between man and beast, but being human irregardless of form!\"

 33 Ch 33 A Glimpse to the Future

    I stirred from my spot stretched out in the back of Mahina''s car. She''d agreed to drive us back after I''d spent the night on the mountain, allowing me to get some rest. Derrick was driving my bike back.


    \"Hey, how you doing up there?\" I asked through a yawn.


    \"Good.\"


    Uh-oh. I had the impression Mahina wasn''t thrilled with me right now. I climbed over the seat, stretching before buckling myself in.


    \"I really appreciate you putting up with me this weekend.\"


    \"It''s ok.\"


    \"Nice of you to say so,\" I replied, \"even if it really isn''t ok. I mean you come out here because you''re worried about me, then I foist you off on my cousin and you get cornered by my grandfather.


    \"It''s ok,\" Mahina repeated.


    \"Anna said he was kinda brusk with you,\" I said sympathetically. \"You should see him with my dad. Sometimes I think Grandfather doesn''t realize it''s different with me, even though it''s the same,\" I finished thoughtfully.


    \"What do you mean?\"


    I hid my smile, pleased I was able to spark her curiosity. \"Hmm, it''s the part of my family history no one really talks about, and to be honest, part of it is a conversation that normally would wait for that moment in a relationship where someone asks the other how they feel about having kids.\"


    I grinned at her, slightly embarrassed.


    \"You wanna have kids?\" I asked half teasing and half serious. My arm was draped over the back of the seat and I bumped her shoulder teasingly.


    She threw me this look like she couldn''t believe I just asked that.


    \"Maybe we''ll save that part for later. Personally I will be thrilled when we hit that later,\" I said as I ran my fingers down her arm a bit. It was like lighting a match. My desire for her suddenly sparked. I could see the tension in her increase. I just smiled adoringly at her, batting my eyes teasingly until she shook her head and smiled back.


    \"So tell me about this family history,\" she demanded.


    \"It can be complicated to explain.\"


    \"Why don''t you try to explain anyway?\" she asked, obviously still slightly miffed.


    I put the plan Mom had once discussed with me into action. She knew how hard it would be for someone to accept the truth of our existence, so she had researched to help me when it came time to explain away any of my behavior to a future girlfriend.


    \"Well, where Grandfather is concerned, Dad isn''t of the people. Not a major obstacle, but strike one where my grandfather was concerned. Second, Dad isn''t very personable, if you know what I mean. He was raised in the Black Forest, and never spent much time with other people growing up. He''s really observant and blunt. He can get a little intense sometimes and that tends to put people off.\"


    \"Now I''m a lot different than Dad on those two points,\" I continued. \"Because of my mom I am part of the tribe, and I''m a lot more playful than Dad is.\"


    I wiggled my eyebrows up and down and grinned, while moving my fingers as if tickling her. Mahina rolled her eyes at me.


    \"I think your dad is nice. It''s obvious how much he loved your mother.\"


    \"You''ve already forgotten that little snap he did when I mentioned story time?\" I laughed at her expression. \"Yeah, that one!\"


    \"I still think he''s nice. Where does the part about wanting kids come in?\" She asked, blushing slightly.


    \"Part of it is hyperosmia. That''s a condition where someone has an extremely acute sense of smell. Both my dad and I have it. It''s like being a bloodhound. Seriously, I can tell what someone ate by how their breath smells. They haven''t decided for sure if it''s passed on genetically, but Dad''s father and grandfather both had it. Imagine dad growing up in the forest, then going to a village and talking about smelling a deer, or where different animals had marked territory. Guess what they called him in the villages.\"


    I was grateful for mom''s research. Hyperosmia accounted for our werewolf sense of smell, and opened the door for a discussion later about why I really had my sense of smell. I moved my fingers along her shoulder again.


    \"What did they call him?\" she asked, finally giving in to my anticipating silence.


    \"The wolf boy of the Black Forest,\" I said grinning.


    \"Seriously?\"


    \"No,\" I said laughing, \"and don''t tell him I said that!\"


    Mahina pursed her lips and gave me an aggravated look.


    This is where Dad''s story about his family history comes in very handy, even if I joked around about him being called wolf boy. Dad was gonna thwack me if I ever told him!


    \"You ever hear stories of feral children?\" I asked. \"His grandfather practically was.\"


    Mahina hmmfted, obviously not believing me.


    \"Honest! My great grandfather was found in the forest and raised by an old couple who died when he was a teenager, so my great grandfather practically lived exclusively in the forest. He knew the wolves there. He taught his son and my dad. So naturally when dad came here, taking the name Black Wolf among my mother''s people was a natural thing to do.\"


    I stroked her arm, turning serious.


    \"Dad knows the forest; he taught me. I understand living like a wolf. The sounds, the smells, even wolf body language, it''s second nature to me. It''s easier for a boy to learn about everything he''s smelling when it''s presented in a way that makes sense. For Dad''s family, that explanation is done through the wolf. That''s how dad and I are the same.\"


    Mahina glanced at me, not saying anything but her expression was thoughtful.


    \"But me, I''m part of my mom''s people. Dad never had that sense of human society growing up. He had it with Mom.\"


    I went silent then, giving her time to digest that. It had enough truth to feel right, answering some of her questions about me. I had to smile when she reached over and held my hand. I sighed in contentment. It was enough for now...


    ... until she pulled into her apartment complex. She had a small studio apartment. The smell of her everywhere was overwhelming. My fingers ran over places she had touched. When she turned to ask me if I wanted something to drink, I was right there. My arms were around her, my nose in her neck, until my tongue flicked out.


    Maybe I was still feeling alpha-ish. I knew everything I was doing was dominating her. My hold was firm. My touches were solid strokes. I rubbed my scent over her shoulders, leaning against her body. I tried to pull back, then moved in again before she realized it was wolf looking at her.


    I was eager to taste her, my tongue running swirling designs against her neck. I unbuttoned the top button of her blouse, then one more so I could reach further. I sucked on her shoulder blades, moved to her shoulders, down her arms. My mouth played with her fingers. My hands found the hook on her bra. I fingered it, but knew I was risking losing control if I did.


    I stopped, holding her tight, taking in her scent. I could smell my scent on her, which pleased me.


    \"I can''t stay.\" My voice was rough.


    \"Why not?\" She asked, kissing me deep, making me moan with desire. I couldn''t answer right away.


    \"Because I want to.\"


    \"I want you to.\"


    I groaned again when she removed my shirt. We were on her couch by then, her on top of me. The feel of her bare arms against my skin was intoxicating.


    It went on until I stopped again. I was breathing hard, trying to focus. My mouth found hers again, and I satisfied my desire there, winding myself down, moving slower, more gentle, drawing back.


    \"I won''t stay.\"


    She didn''t say anything, just pulled me in for another kiss. My hands moved possessively over her.


    \"Someday I''ll stay, but I want it to be the right day, a special day.\" I brushed her cheek with my fingers, moved her hair back.


    She looked at me, slightly surprised. Her desire was tempered by my constraint. I hoped she understood what I meant, especially after the comments earlier about kids.


    I kissed her then, a full gentle kiss followed by some simple kisses. \"I want to stay,\" I said again, \"and that''s why I won''t, not yet.\"


    I reached for my phone to call Derrick.


    \"I can take you home,\" she said.


    \"But then we''ll have less time for this,\" and I kissed her again.


    She laughed slightly at my sly grin, coming in for another kiss, even as she pulled my hand holding my phone closer.

 34 Ch 34 Special Training

    I was going through life with a permanent smile on my face these days.


    Winter had set in. Everyone had gone home during the holidays, spending vacation with their respective families.


    Derrick had flown home to Maine, complaining because he wouldn''t be able to bring back a suitcase full of seafood. I think he was getting tired of elk. I did laugh helplessly when two big  boxes full of frozen seafood arrived. We split the cost of a small chest freezer as a Christmas gift to each other. He was looking forward to a clam bake in the fire pit.


    The wolves had long gone their separate ways. They stayed in contact. Arctic was now the proud father to a set of twins, one boy and one girl, the mother doing fine. Old Grey often came to visit dad. Our living room became his winter home when he wasn''t out and about. Lobo ranged around, unable to not travel. Businessman had left us his card, and I had promised to come visit him in the spring.


    Cherokee actually invited dad and I to come to their pow-wow come summer. Theirs was going to be the week after ours. I already put in to be off work and had asked Mahina to come along. Making summer plans with her just increased the intensity of our winter together.


    My time with Mahina was divine. Our make-out sessions were an exercise in self control for me. I often took her to the club where I was surrounded by smells and a public atmosphere that kept me alert. The wolf did love to dance, so even the club was tough. I understood dad''s warning now about a female in heat. No one could touch her during that human version of heat. I''d feel like one wrong move by someone and I''d practically go ballistic. Vigilance and caution became my mantra.


    Lone Wolf checked in a few times every week at least, if not every day. He had my phone number now, and texted me short updates regularly. He told me it had been touch and go for the first few weeks. He stayed away though. I think that alpha had a tighter grip on him than he wanted to admit. Or maybe his continuing presence kept things in check.


    Lone Wolf explained the set up there. Sheep''s pack territory in the city was an apartment building. Apparently the whole top floor had once been occupied by the pack, until some sort of feud with another pack had them decimating each other. Their current alpha had confined everyone to one apartment that was designed like a safe room. Now they were occupying the top floor again, cleaning the place up.


    Lone Wolf warned me that the alpha was unstable now. Brooding, waiting, was how he described him. The respect he was given now was merely to placate him and that alpha knew it. His fury was building, simmering below the surface, aimed at me.


    I made Lone Wolf get Sheep a phone, and made sure he had both my number and my dad''s. If things went wrong and he needed help, he at least had the option to contact me. I sent him friendly texts every few days, talking about regular stuff like the weather, what I had for dinner, and what I saw during my morning and evening runs.


    Sheep never replied after the first time when he was learning how to text until I fussed. Then the only texts I got were test scores from the home schooling he was getting in preparation for his GED. At least that part was going well according to the reports I got. Sheep was way behind in schooling. His alpha had made sure he could read and add, not much else.


    I never called him Sheep in my texts, allowing him some dignity in case someone else saw his phone.


    It was work that was annoying me most these days. We''d go out on snowmobiles or trek on skis on occasion, watching for the odd campers and such. Something seemed off, but I couldn''t place what. A few months of patrolling the same areas had me familiar with the local wildlife and the naturalists who came to record Yellowstone in action.


    There were faint traces of odors I wasn''t familiar with, odors that didn''t belong in the woods and mountains I ranged. When I mentioned my general unease to my boss, he told me I had an overactive imagination. He even offered to move me about to different areas to relieve my winter doldrums, as he put it. No one reported anything amiss, he reassured me. I tried to put it out of my mind until I caught one of the smells at the gym during fight club night.


    I tried to be subtle at first. At some point my frustration got the better of me. I stalked the odor through the crowd, getting Mac''s attention. I narrowed down the smell, finally tapping one guy on his front pocket.


    \"Hey, get lost creep,\" the guy said. Then he took a look at me and took a step back.


    There was too much wolf looking out of my eyes for me to answer right away. I just pointed to his pocket. Mac didn''t hesitate.


    \"What''s in your pocket?\" Mac demanded, practically yelling across the room. He marched over, shoving me off to the side to position himself in front of the guy. Everyone was looking, even the men in the ring had stopped fighting.


    \"Ain''t nothing, what''s wrong with you.\"


    I reached out one finger, put it right on the spot.


    \"It stinks,\" I said roughly.


    The guy laughed at me. \"Maybe I just need a shower.\"


    The barest growl left me.


    \"Turn your pocket out, or you don''t fight,\" Mac said.


    I could smell the guy''s nervousness increase.


    Under Mac''s glare he reluctantly reached into his pocket and pulled out this really small plastic pouch.


    \"It ain''t nothing, really. I forgot I had it in there,\" the guy whined, trying to get out of trouble.


    \"Out!\" Mac growled. \"You''re banned. Don''t come back.\"


    \"Give me my fight money back then,\" the guy demanded.


    \"Forfeited,\" Mac spat. \"Everyone knows to come here clean. Now out!\"


    Everyone watched the guy leave. Once he was gone Mac addressed the room in general.


    \"Spread the word, and whoever vouched for him needs to have a talk with him.\"


    \"We will,\" said a guy with marine tattoos. \"We''ll make it good Mac.\"


    Mac nodded. \"Let''s get back at it then.\"


    The guy who spoke up wasn''t going to let it drop. He motioned toward me asking, \"How did he know?\"


    \"Hyperosmia,\" I said before Mac could start looking even more uncomfortable. \"It''s an extremely acute sense of smell. Want me to tell you what you''ve eaten recently?\" I gave a little grin. \"Gives me a little advantage when fighting, which is one reason why I don''t.\"


    Mac said nothing, just looked at me with narrowed eyes. I gave him a little wry grin.


    \"I wouldn''t mind fighting with you,\" the marine said.


    Mac grabbed my arm.


    \"Can you hold it in?\" He asked quietly.


    I nodded, my eyes lighting up with my eagerness to fight.


    \"Go ahead then,\" he said louder, \"your spots been paid for by the forfeit. And this way that guy''s friends here can assure him about how thoroughly he would lose if he ever thinks of coming back.\"


    Mac gave me a slight shove. The guys in the ring all got out, telling Mac they would finish their fight afterward.


    The marine was whispering with his friends. Side bets were being made all over the place. Mac''s comment insinuated I would beat the marine. I was an unknown to most of them. It looked like Mac was getting overwhelmed with the bets. Eddie and Derrick were whispering with Mac, figuring what they could cover if I lost.


    As much as I wanted to offer to donate to cover bets, I kept my mouth shut. One rule was you didn''t bet on yourself. That''s what your entry fee was for. If anyone ever thought you threw a fight to make side money there would be hell to pay from these guys. They came to test their skills and didn''t play around like that.


    Things were finally settled and the marine stepped into the ring. He was slow compared with dad, and I danced my way around him, avoiding his attacks easily. He did manage to get me in one hold, and I made eye contact with Mac, grinning before I shifted enough to throw him off balance.


    I went attack then in a way I usually reserved for the matches between dad and I. I''d watched the guys often enough, and had done some light workouts with Derrick at the house where he taught me some combat moves.


    My ferociousness had the marine moving back. My spins had my blows coming in from unexpected directions. Growls escaped me but I kept my fangs and claws in. I could smell the nervousness increase from Mac. My fighting changed to wrestling moves.


    The dominate wolf was content to pin his packmates. Like I''d told Sheep, there was a balance. I could fight like a wolf when I wrestled, and still respect my opponent as a man. The marine went down under my attacks. I let him go at a two count. I took him down again and again, circling, waiting for him to submit. I even managed to get a few more good blows into his midriff. After a fifteen minutes of him getting nowhere and me pinning him down just to release him, Mac finally called out to me.


    \"Count it out and be done with it. It should be apparent to everyone already you ain''t doin'' nothin'' but playing with him. I want you settled.\"


    I looked at him, knowing how much the wolf part of me had come to the fore. I nodded.


    The marine used that distraction to tackle me, trying to get in a few good punches. He didn''t want to go home with the reputation of being my chew toy. With a snarl I spun, had him going over my shoulder. I smashed him down, using my own body to add momentum to his downward movement, landing with my knees in his kidney and lungs, knocking the breath out of him. For a moment I thought he was going to puke from my blow. I stood for a second before deliberately pinning him. At the count I stood, grinning at Mac, hoping my canines weren''t showing too much.


    Mac shook his head, begging me not to, but a victory like that needed celebrating. I threw back my head and howled, surprising most of the gathered men, but the few who had stood by Mac that night with Dad only laughed, calling out Little Wolf, and cheering me on.


    I was feeling very much an alpha as I reached down and helped the marine to his feet. I kept myself from rubbing against him, which I really wanted to do.


    As we got out of the ring I turned to Mac.


    \"Now I''m just worked up. Wish Dad was here.\" I said laughingly.


    \"Anyone else want to spent five minutes with him while we sort things out? Wear him out more? No bets.\" Mac hollered out, happy I was still human as he went around settling the side bets.


    He actually had a few takers. I focused on staying mostly human, pointing out their weaknesses, where they were off balance, how to adjust. Finally one guy came in that I had never seen before. A glance at Mac made it obvious he had called the guy in.


    The new guy was good, really good. I had to go all wolf brain, dancing around him. I had him down a few times, but wasn''t able to pin him. He moved a lot like I did, working with my moves, able to break loose each time. He got in a few strikes, but not many considering the effort he was making. I enjoyed fighting with him.


    Mac finally called a halt so the other fights could go on.


    \"Hope you''re wore out enough now,\" Mac teased me.


    \"Enough,\" I grinned back at him.


    \"Little Wolf, this is Jacob. What would you think about training with him?\"


    I looked at Mac, trying to gauge the real offer here. I looked over at Jacob, taking in everything I could.


    \"You know why I don''t take you up on your other offer,\" I said slowly to Mac.


    \"Yeah, this doesn''t have anything to do with that. I owe Jacob one, promised him if I ever came across anyone worth him training I would let him know.\"


    \"I would like too,\" I said carefully. \"Would I be able to tell him?\"


    Mac looked thoughtfully at me before answering. \"I think in time it should be ok. My guys first though.\"


    \"Deal,\" I said with a laugh.


    Jacob just stood there. I wondered what he thought about our exchange.


    \"If your willing,\" I said, \"I''d love to learn what I can from you. There are a few things about me, well, like Mac said, in time if that''s ok with you.\"


    Jacob nodded, evaluated me in turn.


    \"You''re good,\" he said, \"but undisciplined. What training have you had?\"


    \"Just me and my dad working out, a little bit with Derrick, oh, and wrestling. Captain of my high school team and I got a partial scholarship from wrestling for college. I like wrestling,\" I said with a grin.


    \"Mac, ok if I train him here?\"


    \"Sure,\" Mac answered, \"you can use the second or third bedroom.\"


    \"Ok if my dad sits in on occasion?\" I asked.


    \"Trust me,\" Mac said to Jacob before he could say no, \"you''ll want to meet his dad.\"


    \"Wednesdays?\" Jacob asked.


    My heart pounded. Wednesday was when I met Mahina during her break.


    \"What time?\"


    \"Eight.\" Jacob said without hesitation.


    I grinned in relief. That was after break time and I would be able to work off my energy after being with her.


    \"Sounds great,\" I said, liking the turns my life was taking.

 35 Ch 35 Lobo

    Jacob hung around for awhile. When I had a few moments he and I would discuss the different moves the fighters used. We were interrupted by some shouts from upstairs.


    Someone opened the door to the basement to holler for Mac when a big dog snuck down. I had to laugh when I saw the yellow wolf with the black back. He sniffed around, easily avoiding the hands that tried to nab him.


    \"My fault,\" I laughed, \"I bet he heard me howl earlier. I''ll get rid of him for you Mac.\"


    \"If you can catch him,\" said Jacob as he watched the four legged intruder make a circuit around the basement.


    \"Easily done,\" I said. \"Clear the steps please,\" I hollered out, \"and every one hush.\"


    I stalked him, giving some playful whines and barks, acting like I did at storytime. I huffed, moved toward the steps, then added some more wolf sounds. Lobo came over and I herded him up the steps with another playful growl.


    \"I''m surprised to see you here,\" I told him once we were outside and out of view. He shifted in the bushes briefly to talk with me.


    \"Unexpected for both of us. I was on my way to meet a friend when I heard you howl. I couldn''t resist when I came across this place. Such a good place to practice tracking people. I was surprised to smell you in the mix.


    I had to laugh. I had never really thought about tracking the guys as they moved around.


    \"Would you like to run together tonight? If you don''t mind waiting?\"


    \"I would enjoy that,\" he said as he shifted back to wolf.


    Going back in, I made sure Doc had me cleared just in case. Mac gave me this look when I went back down. I''d explain it to him later. I heard him tell Jacob that Little Wolf was a good name for me. Some of the guys had laughed at my antics, but I didn''t mind. I just grinned back at them.


    I did my usual for the rest of the night. I got a fair bit of attention now. Usually I went through the night mostly ignored. I saw a level of respect from them now, as well as the promise of a bit of teasing about me being wolffish.


    I held Mac back at the end of the night. It was easy to do because he had the same idea.


    \"Quite a night,\" he said.


    \"Understatement,\" I chuckled back at him. \"Who is Jacob?\"


    Mac gave me an appraising look. \"He''ll tell you in his own time, same as you I suppose.\"


    I couldn''t argue with that.


    \"That was a werewolf in here tonight?\" Mac asked.


    I laughed reassuringly. \"That was Lobo. He''s a wanderer, loves to travel. He was nearby and heard my howl. We''re gonna run together tonight.\"


    \"Look, I wanna apologize,\" I said seriously. \"Dad had mentioned when I first moved out that I would run into things out in the world that never occurred at home. It never occurred to me that my howling would bring someone in. I''ll be more careful in the future.\"


    \"I sure the hell hope so,\" said Mac, \"don''t mind telling you I was more than a little nervous tonight, on a few counts.\"


    \"Mac, about the drugs,\" I said hesitantly.


    \"Nah, you did good pointing it out. That thing you said, about smelling, it''s a real thing?\"


    \"Yes, a well documented human condition. I wanted to ask,\" I hesitated again because the request sounded weird even to me. \"Do you know anyone who can train me?\"


    \"Train you?\"


    \"Like police dogs are, to sniff out drugs. I just need to know what they all smell like. I think someone is doing something out at Yellowstone.\"


    Mac looked thoughtful for a moment.


    \"Let me make some calls. I know someone who has a fifteen day training course for handlers. You''d probably learn everything you need doing that. I''ll work it out with John to get you the time off.\"


    \"My boss?\"


    Mac chuckled.


    \"How you think Derrick got that job? He can be gone for a few days or a week on a mission and it''ll be called training for something or another.\"


    Surprised as I was, I told myself I shouldn''t have been. Derrick had already gone to different training sessions, or been sent to help out at another park system like we did during the wildfire. Or so I''d thought.


    Mac laughed at my dumbfounded expression. He gave my shoulder a solid slap before heading to lock up. I was in the buff having just finished putting everything in my saddlebags when he came out.


    \"I''ll wait,\" I said softly from the far side of my bike.


    \"No, go ahead. I''ll stay dry,\" he promised.


    I stepped out so he could watch. I started with my feet, set for running, arms becoming front legs as they dropped down. Lobo was staring at me in disbelief from the bushes. I knew what he was thinking; revealing ourselves to people was taboo. I set my throats for words.


    \"Mac is Lone Wolf''s friend,\" I told the yellow wolf, \"willing to risk hell itself if needed to help his friend. You should have seen Lone Wolf first time I saw him. He held back that night at the pointe.


    Lobo gave me a nod, that might have been a bow. I couldn''t easily read his emotions. He was good at controlling himself.


    Mac on the other hand was smelling of fear and nervousness. I looked at Mac. Suddenly I knew what to do. I jumped on him suddenly, knocking him down, and started carefully slobbering all over his face, licking his cheeks.


    \"Damnit Little Wolf, stop that!\"


    He had his hands on me, pushing me back. I sat down on his belly, laughing at him. A little bit of irritation coupled with friendly dog behavior went a long way in dispelling any fear. I was content that he''d called me by name and was able to touch me as a wolf. It spoke of our growing familiarity and friendship. I was still laughing as I headed into the bushes to join Lobo.


    Lobo and I took off into the night. It was fun to run with him. He was steady, fast, and a good tracker. We spent most of the night with him teaching me how to track in a city. Food for him in the city wasn''t a problem. He stopped to dumpster dive whenever he smelled something he wanted.


    We followed all sorts of trails. There was a cat, a few different people where we played a guessing game of what was in their pockets, even some cars that had distinctive smells from leaking different fluids.


    Lobo was fascinated with cars and told me he was a decent backyard mechanic, for the old cars at least. He found his way to three small car repair places. At two of them he pointed out the things he looked for, like an obvious line of cars waiting on repairs, or a few older models, that would give him a chance to pick up some work and make some under the table cash.


    We scrounged through a junkyard. Shifting to men, we talked cars. He knew makes, models and engine specs. He told me how he often used the deserted cars for beds, sometimes finding things of interest.


    He took what he wanted, never stealing outright from people. He said people in America threw away enough to make him rich.


    We passed a thrift store with stuff stacked outside. Lobo picked up a pair of sweats.


    I had to smile when we were back at the gym to pick up my bike. Lobo had proven he was able to function as a wolf in the wild. He was an old fashion tramp as a human, making his way in the human world as he needed to. He preferred to move through the streets as a wolf. People saw him as a big dog.


    He lived content and free. I watched fondly as he disappeared into the early morning. I didn''t ask what friend he was going to meet, even though I was very tempted to. I knew trust earned begins with trust given.

 36 Ch 36 Marathon

    \"Rick!\"


    My boss motioned me over. \"I need you to set up for the 5k, then make sure the route is clear of any debris. I have a special guest I need to spend today and tomorrow with.\"


    \"Oh?\" I asked casually. I couldn''t help wondering what special guest was code for now that I knew John was part of Mac''s network of connections.


    \"It''s exciting,\" chimed in Beatrice, the lady who worked the counter. \"She''s a make-a-wish recipient; thirteen year old with cancer who wants to see real wolves. She and her family are staying in one of the cabins for a few nights.\"


    \"I''m going to be taking them out in the jeep,\" John added, \"see how close we can get to the wolves wearing the trackers. Oh,\" he said quieter, moving me off to the side, \"your training class is set up for two weeks from now.\"


    He looked at me with this narrowing of the eyes. I don''t know what he was thinking.


    \"Thanks, John.\"


    \"Mac told me about your, a, condition, said you had a few concerns. Honestly, it''s probably just a bunch of campers throwing themselves a party,\" he said.


    I agreed with him, trying to laugh it off, but I was a wolf on the hunt now where those annoying odors were concerned.


    I headed out to load up one of the jeeps with what I''d need to set up the check stations. I was loading up the last canopy and chairs when I saw her.


    She was wearing a white knit cap with pink in the front even though the day was getting warm. She was literally bouncing in place. I assumed it was her mother with her. The two of them got in the back of the jeep, the mother throwing a blanket over the girl. I had to chuckle at the young lady''s unlady-like comments expressing her exasperation at her mother''s concern.


    I was heading home for the day when they came back. The young girl was obviously exhausted, a fact her mother was quick to point out.


    \"No, mother, I''m not going to sit out tomorrow! I came to see wolves and to run in a pack out in the wild. Tomorrow''s race will be the only chance I''ll have! A human pack is going to be as close to what I want as I can get!\"


    In that moment I felt Spirit Wolf stir. Here was a werewolf candidate if ever there was one. Her desire to be one with the wolf was palatable. I felt his love for the child before he faded away again.


    I thought about her and others like her as I rode home. I could feel the wolf about her. I wondered how many others were out there who would truly desire to be one with the wolf.


    From what I''d learned from the other wolves, there were some that were called naturals; people who, when bitten, took to the wolf as if they''d been born to it.


    Old Grey had mentioned a few for whom life with the wolf was just the opposite. Some of the people who had left with him, escaping the madness of a werewolf war, kept seeking ways to end their life, unable to live with what they had become.


    Businessman had spoken of the intensity of the pain of his first shift, lasting for days. He said his had lasted almost a week. He had barely survived and was both weak and ravenous at first. Eating during that pain-filled week had been difficult.


    That young girl, her body riddled with cancer, would never survive such an ordeal.


    Ah, my brother, I thought to Spirit Wolf, find a way to grant her what she desires.


    I was back again early the next morning. The station I got to man was 2kilometers into the marathon. I had a walkie-talkie, first aid kit, and a cooler of electrolyte drinks. And plenty of boredom.


    I watched the runners go by, the faster and more serious competitors at the front. The good runners who ran just to run came by next. It was the back of the pack that might need something at this point. Many stopped to rest for a moment and got a drink, but no one needed any serious attention.


    I watched the girl wave to me as she went by. Her dad was wearing a small backpack that I could guess was filled with anything he thought she might need. I smiled widely and waved back at her.


    I waved to the tail runner when he finally went by, and radioed in that he had passed me. That was a job I had turned down. I would go nuts walking slowly behind everyone! I folded up the canopy and table, closed up the garbage bag, and got everything ready to load up for later. I picked up the two-way again. I don''t know why they kept using such old equipment.


    \"Hey John, I want to double check that tree by the annex road, the one that''s been leaning after the last storm.\"


    \"Sure Rick, let me know if I should load up a chainsaw when we bring the jeep around later.\"


    \"Will do.\"


    I took off, strictly keeping to man-form. The last thing I needed was for someone to freak out over a wolf that close to everyone. I avoided the road the runners had used, making my way lithely between the trees. After watching so many runners go by, it felt good to let loose myself. I made good time, allowing myself slightly clawed hands as I ghosted through the trees.


    I pulled up short when I heard what sounded like crying. Slowing down, I increased my hearing, making my face more wolffish in the process. I honed in on the distressing sounds. Wolf instincts kicked in as I moved to a position where I would be invisible to my prey.


    \"I am not going to just stop because everyone else outran me! I am going to see at least one wolf while I am out here! This is nothing like what I wished for! I am not going to cry! I am...\"


    I listened to her quietly rant to herself. My heart expanded just listening to her determination. The young girl in the knot hat had more spunk than anyone I could think of.


    I don''t know how she managed to get away from her father. They had to be worried about her by now. I couldn''t help but be proud of her. Her parents understandably kept trying to coddle her in her sickness and she kept insisting on fiercely living. Not only live, but she was determined to live what was left of her life on her terms.


    I was practically chuckling as my uniform came off, neatly stacked behind a tree. I moved to position myself in front of her, waiting for her to notice me. I couldn''t keep my grin off my face, even as a wolf.


    It was so worth it to see the look on her face. First her eyes got big, her breath drew in and she held it for what seemed forever before slowing exhaling and going \"Ohhhhh!!!!\"


    Delight shown from her eyes. One hand stretched out toward me without her even realizing it. Once she was aware of what she was doing, she drew her hand back.


    I moved slightly, as if I was slightly startled by her movement.


    \"Don''t go,\" she whispered desperately.


    I stood still, cocking my head at her. At her gentle and awed encouragement, I approached slowly, step by hesitant step.


    We were only a few feet away from each other, her still on the ground where she had shed her unwanted tears, me standing before her. I slowly lowered my head, raising my rump, and started wagging my tail. I did a few small slow hesitant playful leaps back and forth in front of her, before coming in suddenly to carefully swat her with my paw and leaping further away.


    She giggled as only a young girl can do. I knew if I left now she would be on cloud nine for forever.


    I needed to get her back on course, and soon. I did that obvious come-follow-me thing that dogs do. The last part of the marathon used a road that ran parallel to the first part. I could save her a lot of steps leading her through the woods.


    When she didn''t get up right away I came back. I was less hesitant, going up and sniffing around her. There was a slight smell of blood from a scraped knee. There were spots... I knew then I had just identified the smell of cancer. I closed my eyes, leaning my head into her. I was surprised at her words as her fingers worked their way into my ruff.


    \"Don''t cry, it''s ok. Some day I''m going to really get my wish. I''m going to be just like you and run forever on four legs. When I get tired of running I''m going to get a drink from a clear forest stream. Then I''m going to lay down for a while in a sun-filled meadow and watch the clouds.\"


    I pulled back enough to look at her. Her fingers were still in my ruff. She wasn''t at all afraid, talking to me as if I was her best friend.


    \"I''m not going to be alone either!\" She continued. \"There''s this beautiful wolf there. You''ll like him! He has silver eyes and grey fur, but it isn''t solid grey. There are hints of red, yellow, black and white... hey, just like that little song! Do you know it? Red yellow black and white, all are precious in his sight! I never thought of that before!\"


    She grinned at me in delight of her little revelation. I grinned back but then encouraged her to move by pushing her up from under her armpit. She grabbed onto me, really leaning her weight on me as she finally stood up.


    \"Yeah, I suppose your right, I should get back. I don''t want to though. I want to stay with you!\"


    I gave her a look she could decipher even coming from a wolf. She sighed dramatically and started to walk away from me, waving sadly. I shook my head and circled around to head her in the right direction.


    \"Can I really go with you?\" She squealed excitedly.


    I laughed at her sudden joy, pricking my ears up. I know she thought that was for her, but in truth I figured if anyone was around they would have heard that squeal! No one. I wondered how long ago she had managed to dump her dad.


    We walked through the woods then, her hand on my head or on my back. She occasionally leaned on me, putting her weight on me as we went up small hills, or to steady herself as we went down them. I went at her pace, lifting my snout toward her on occasion to let her know I was still listening to her, for she hadn''t stopped talking the entire time!


    She told me about her cancer. She shared the pain of missing so much school because of being sick so much. She missed hanging out with her friends. She told me about how her mom quit her job to stay home with her, how her dad worked even harder. She told me how sad she felt for them, having to be burdened with caring for her. She shared the joys too, the family times that let her know those burdens she imagined were easily shouldered by her parents because of the love they had for her.


    \"It makes me feel bad, the way I yelled at dad to get my way. I told him I wanted to just be alone in nature for awhile and he should go on and wait for me at the next rest stop. I yelled at mom yesterday too. I shouldn''t yell so much!\"


    I nodded sagely, giving a little huff. She laughed at me.


    \"I know, I know! I''ll apologize to them when we get back. Both of them! Did you know mom learned to knit just so she could make me this hat? I always picture myself as a white wolf. White wolves are supposed to be special, but white is so boring! I always told her I''d color my fur with some pink so it would look like I was wearing a tiara, a pink tiara! I bet you think that''s silly, huh?\"


    She went on as I sidetracked just a little to where I knew there was a small, very small, stream so she could drink. That elicited another \"Ohhhh!!!\"


    After we had drunk some side by side I pushed her on.  It wasn''t long after that I was able to hear people ahead of us. I led her up a small embankment, then pulled away.


    \"Noooo!!!\"


    I nodded yes, motioning with my snout that I wanted her to go on alone. She stood there a moment shaking her head no, tears coming from her eyes.


    I came back to her, rising up to put my paws on her shoulders. I was careful to put my weight on my hind legs and not on her. I nuzzled her and licked her face in a gentle kiss. I put my forehead against hers for a moment. She gave a heavy sigh.


    \"I love you,\" she said sincerely. \"I will always love you! Thank you for spending today with me!\" She gave me a kiss on my nose, then we broke apart.


    I dropped to all fours and gave her a playful nudge forward. She stumbled slightly and by the time she straightened up and looked for me, I was gone.


    I watched as she slid down the embankment to the road. I watched as she waved down some runners, one of which ran back the way they had come. I wanted to keep watching, but this was the perfect time for me to truly slide away.


    I dropped down from the tree I had climbed. It had never occurred to her to look up, and I knew how to be silent. I ran at my fastest speed back to where my clothes were.


    I dressed quickly, not bothering with the socks, merely shoving them into my pocket for now. I had a sense of urgency for some reason. It had been building since I left her on the road.


    It was as if Spirit Wolf was goading me on.


    I ran, scenting her backward trail until I came to the place she had slid. There! My hand snatched the small rock of its own accord. I held it as if it was a treasure. If anyone were to look at me right now, I knew they would see wolf eyes in my face, black wolf nose even without much of a snout. This was something new for me but I barely gave it a thought.


    All of my senses were focused on the small stone in my hand, half of it covered in her blood from where she had scraped her knee.


    The blood of the innocent upon the land.


    The words were a refrain in my head that kept repeating itself as I panted from more than my run. I felt as unfocused as I had the night of the fire. Spirit Wolf''s presence was overwhelming.


    The blood of the innocent upon the land.


    I felt Spirit Wolf''s calling within me. Soon it would be time for my new name. My feet were on the path. The events that would lead to that name were set in motion.


    The blood of the innocent upon the land.


    I would give my life to protect those innocents, guarding them against any who would dare try to spill that blood. I would fight to make sure that innocent blood did not spill!


    My head went back, and my howl reverberated through the woods, echoing across the sky. There was no boundary in me between body, mind and spirit; no boundary between wolf and man. My song had gained new notes, new depth, new determination, as if the little sister''s fierce song of life had become embedded in my own.


    The blood of the innocent upon the land.


    That refrain now echoed within me, with every beat of my heart, as much a part of me as my own blood that flowed within me.

 37 Ch 36 Marathon

    \"Rick!\"


    My boss motioned me over. \"I need you to set up for the 5k, then make sure the route is clear of any debris. I have a special guest I need to spend today and tomorrow with.\"


    \"Oh?\" I asked casually. I couldn''t help wondering what special guest was code for now that I knew John was part of Mac''s network of connections.


    \"It''s exciting,\" chimed in Beatrice, the lady who worked the counter. \"She''s a make-a-wish recipient; thirteen year old with cancer who wants to see real wolves. She and her family are staying in one of the cabins for a few nights.\"


    \"I''m going to be taking them out in the jeep,\" John added, \"see how close we can get to the wolves wearing the trackers. Oh,\" he said quieter, moving me off to the side, \"your training class is set up for two weeks from now.\"


    He looked at me with this narrowing of the eyes. I don''t know what he was thinking.


    \"Thanks, John.\"


    \"Mac told me about your, a, condition, said you had a few concerns. Honestly, it''s probably just a bunch of campers throwing themselves a party,\" he said.


    I agreed with him, trying to laugh it off, but I was a wolf on the hunt now where those annoying odors were concerned.


    I headed out to load up one of the jeeps with what I''d need to set up the check stations. I was loading up the last canopy and chairs when I saw her.


    She was wearing a white knit cap with pink in the front even though the day was getting warm. She was literally bouncing in place. I assumed it was her mother with her. The two of them got in the back of the jeep, the mother throwing a blanket over the girl. I had to chuckle at the young lady''s unlady-like comments expressing her exasperation at her mother''s concern.


    I was heading home for the day when they came back. The young girl was obviously exhausted, a fact her mother was quick to point out.


    \"No, mother, I''m not going to sit out tomorrow! I came to see wolves and to run in a pack out in the wild. Tomorrow''s race will be the only chance I''ll have! A human pack is going to be as close to what I want as I can get!\"


    In that moment I felt Spirit Wolf stir. Here was a werewolf candidate if ever there was one. Her desire to be one with the wolf was palatable. I felt his love for the child before he faded away again.


    I thought about her and others like her as I rode home. I could feel the wolf about her. I wondered how many others were out there who would truly desire to be one with the wolf.


    From what I''d learned from the other wolves, there were some that were called naturals; people who, when bitten, took to the wolf as if they''d been born to it.


    Old Grey had mentioned a few for whom life with the wolf was just the opposite. Some of the people who had left with him, escaping the madness of a werewolf war, kept seeking ways to end their life, unable to live with what they had become.


    Businessman had spoken of the intensity of the pain of his first shift, lasting for days. He said his had lasted almost a week. He had barely survived and was both weak and ravenous at first. Eating during that pain-filled week had been difficult.


    That young girl, her body riddled with cancer, would never survive such an ordeal.


    Ah, my brother, I thought to Spirit Wolf, find a way to grant her what she desires.


    I was back again early the next morning. The station I got to man was 2kilometers into the marathon. I had a walkie-talkie, first aid kit, and a cooler of electrolyte drinks. And plenty of boredom.


    I watched the runners go by, the faster and more serious competitors at the front. The good runners who ran just to run came by next. It was the back of the pack that might need something at this point. Many stopped to rest for a moment and got a drink, but no one needed any serious attention.


    I watched the girl wave to me as she went by. Her dad was wearing a small backpack that I could guess was filled with anything he thought she might need. I smiled widely and waved back at her.


    I waved to the tail runner when he finally went by, and radioed in that he had passed me. That was a job I had turned down. I would go nuts walking slowly behind everyone! I folded up the canopy and table, closed up the garbage bag, and got everything ready to load up for later. I picked up the two-way again. I don''t know why they kept using such old equipment.


    \"Hey John, I want to double check that tree by the annex road, the one that''s been leaning after the last storm.\"


    \"Sure Rick, let me know if I should load up a chainsaw when we bring the jeep around later.\"


    \"Will do.\"


    I took off, strictly keeping to man-form. The last thing I needed was for someone to freak out over a wolf that close to everyone. I avoided the road the runners had used, making my way lithely between the trees. After watching so many runners go by, it felt good to let loose myself. I made good time, allowing myself slightly clawed hands as I ghosted through the trees.


    I pulled up short when I heard what sounded like crying. Slowing down, I increased my hearing, making my face more wolffish in the process. I honed in on the distressing sounds. Wolf instincts kicked in as I moved to a position where I would be invisible to my prey.


    \"I am not going to just stop because everyone else outran me! I am going to see at least one wolf while I am out here! This is nothing like what I wished for! I am not going to cry! I am...\"


    I listened to her quietly rant to herself. My heart expanded just listening to her determination. The young girl in the knot hat had more spunk than anyone I could think of.


    I don''t know how she managed to get away from her father. They had to be worried about her by now. I couldn''t help but be proud of her. Her parents understandably kept trying to coddle her in her sickness and she kept insisting on fiercely living. Not only live, but she was determined to live what was left of her life on her terms.


    I was practically chuckling as my uniform came off, neatly stacked behind a tree. I moved to position myself in front of her, waiting for her to notice me. I couldn''t keep my grin off my face, even as a wolf.


    It was so worth it to see the look on her face. First her eyes got big, her breath drew in and she held it for what seemed forever before slowing exhaling and going \"Ohhhhh!!!!\"


    Delight shown from her eyes. One hand stretched out toward me without her even realizing it. Once she was aware of what she was doing, she drew her hand back.


    I moved slightly, as if I was slightly startled by her movement.


    \"Don''t go,\" she whispered desperately.


    I stood still, cocking my head at her. At her gentle and awed encouragement, I approached slowly, step by hesitant step.


    We were only a few feet away from each other, her still on the ground where she had shed her unwanted tears, me standing before her. I slowly lowered my head, raising my rump, and started wagging my tail. I did a few small slow hesitant playful leaps back and forth in front of her, before coming in suddenly to carefully swat her with my paw and leaping further away.


    She giggled as only a young girl can do. I knew if I left now she would be on cloud nine for forever.


    I needed to get her back on course, and soon. I did that obvious come-follow-me thing that dogs do. The last part of the marathon used a road that ran parallel to the first part. I could save her a lot of steps leading her through the woods.


    When she didn''t get up right away I came back. I was less hesitant, going up and sniffing around her. There was a slight smell of blood from a scraped knee. There were spots... I knew then I had just identified the smell of cancer. I closed my eyes, leaning my head into her. I was surprised at her words as her fingers worked their way into my ruff.


    \"Don''t cry, it''s ok. Some day I''m going to really get my wish. I''m going to be just like you and run forever on four legs. When I get tired of running I''m going to get a drink from a clear forest stream. Then I''m going to lay down for a while in a sun-filled meadow and watch the clouds.\"


    I pulled back enough to look at her. Her fingers were still in my ruff. She wasn''t at all afraid, talking to me as if I was her best friend.


    \"I''m not going to be alone either!\" She continued. \"There''s this beautiful wolf there. You''ll like him! He has silver eyes and grey fur, but it isn''t solid grey. There are hints of red, yellow, black and white... hey, just like that little song! Do you know it? Red yellow black and white, all are precious in his sight! I never thought of that before!\"


    She grinned at me in delight of her little revelation. I grinned back but then encouraged her to move by pushing her up from under her armpit. She grabbed onto me, really leaning her weight on me as she finally stood up.


    \"Yeah, I suppose your right, I should get back. I don''t want to though. I want to stay with you!\"


    I gave her a look she could decipher even coming from a wolf. She sighed dramatically and started to walk away from me, waving sadly. I shook my head and circled around to head her in the right direction.


    \"Can I really go with you?\" She squealed excitedly.


    I laughed at her sudden joy, pricking my ears up. I know she thought that was for her, but in truth I figured if anyone was around they would have heard that squeal! No one. I wondered how long ago she had managed to dump her dad.


    We walked through the woods then, her hand on my head or on my back. She occasionally leaned on me, putting her weight on me as we went up small hills, or to steady herself as we went down them. I went at her pace, lifting my snout toward her on occasion to let her know I was still listening to her, for she hadn''t stopped talking the entire time!


    She told me about her cancer. She shared the pain of missing so much school because of being sick so much. She missed hanging out with her friends. She told me about how her mom quit her job to stay home with her, how her dad worked even harder. She told me how sad she felt for them, having to be burdened with caring for her. She shared the joys too, the family times that let her know those burdens she imagined were easily shouldered by her parents because of the love they had for her.


    \"It makes me feel bad, the way I yelled at dad to get my way. I told him I wanted to just be alone in nature for awhile and he should go on and wait for me at the next rest stop. I yelled at mom yesterday too. I shouldn''t yell so much!\"


    I nodded sagely, giving a little huff. She laughed at me.


    \"I know, I know! I''ll apologize to them when we get back. Both of them! Did you know mom learned to knit just so she could make me this hat? I always picture myself as a white wolf. White wolves are supposed to be special, but white is so boring! I always told her I''d color my fur with some pink so it would look like I was wearing a tiara, a pink tiara! I bet you think that''s silly, huh?\"


    She went on as I sidetracked just a little to where I knew there was a small, very small, stream so she could drink. That elicited another \"Ohhhh!!!\"


    After we had drunk some side by side I pushed her on.  It wasn''t long after that I was able to hear people ahead of us. I led her up a small embankment, then pulled away.


    \"Noooo!!!\"


    I nodded yes, motioning with my snout that I wanted her to go on alone. She stood there a moment shaking her head no, tears coming from her eyes.


    I came back to her, rising up to put my paws on her shoulders. I was careful to put my weight on my hind legs and not on her. I nuzzled her and licked her face in a gentle kiss. I put my forehead against hers for a moment. She gave a heavy sigh.


    \"I love you,\" she said sincerely. \"I will always love you! Thank you for spending today with me!\" She gave me a kiss on my nose, then we broke apart.


    I dropped to all fours and gave her a playful nudge forward. She stumbled slightly and by the time she straightened up and looked for me, I was gone.


    I watched as she slid down the embankment to the road. I watched as she waved down some runners, one of which ran back the way they had come. I wanted to keep watching, but this was the perfect time for me to truly slide away.


    I dropped down from the tree I had climbed. It had never occurred to her to look up, and I knew how to be silent. I ran at my fastest speed back to where my clothes were.


    I dressed quickly, not bothering with the socks, merely shoving them into my pocket for now. I had a sense of urgency for some reason. It had been building since I left her on the road.


    It was as if Spirit Wolf was goading me on.


    I ran, scenting her backward trail until I came to the place she had slid. There! My hand snatched the small rock of its own accord. I held it as if it was a treasure. If anyone were to look at me right now, I knew they would see wolf eyes in my face, black wolf nose even without much of a snout. This was something new for me but I barely gave it a thought.


    All of my senses were focused on the small stone in my hand, half of it covered in her blood from where she had scraped her knee.


    The blood of the innocent upon the land.


    The words were a refrain in my head that kept repeating itself as I panted from more than my run. I felt as unfocused as I had the night of the fire. Spirit Wolf''s presence was overwhelming.


    The blood of the innocent upon the land.


    I felt Spirit Wolf''s calling within me. Soon it would be time for my new name. My feet were on the path. The events that would lead to that name were set in motion.


    The blood of the innocent upon the land.


    I would give my life to protect those innocents, guarding them against any who would dare try to spill that blood. I would fight to make sure that innocent blood did not spill!


    My head went back, and my howl reverberated through the woods, echoing across the sky. There was no boundary in me between body, mind and spirit; no boundary between wolf and man. My song had gained new notes, new depth, new determination, as if the little sister''s fierce song of life had become embedded in my own.


    The blood of the innocent upon the land.


    That refrain now echoed within me, with every beat of my heart, as much a part of me as my own blood that flowed within me.

 38 Ch 37 Little Sister

    Mahina commented on the small bag around my neck when we met that night. I stopped her hand when she went to lift it off my neck. I refused to take it off. I explained to her briefly what a medicine bag was, how it would stay with me even after death. It''s purpose was to hold items of personal and sacred importance.


    I had made the bag small and simple, almost stylish so it would not elicit comments if seen. The length of the cord was measured so it would fit around my neck when I was a wolf as well, hidden in my fur when I shifted.


    The blood-covered stone was safely ensconced inside along with a few herbs from my special tea.


    My new refrain echoed within me. I knew I could not save every innocent in the world. It was those at risk from the wolf that I would be drawn to. There was a new gleam in my eyes when I considered werewolves that would purposely cause harm to others.


    It was a gleam I think Mahina saw, and it made her hesitate before she nodded her understanding. I smiled at her, taking her hand as I loved to do. Tonight was a simple night; I was in no mood for crowds. I shared a bit about the young girl with Mahina, how everyone had been talking about her at the end of the race.


    \"Do you think she actually saw a wolf?\"


    \"Probably.\" I hid my smile. \"Animals have been known to do odd things. I think sometimes someone''s spirit guide helps them even if they don''t know they have one.\"


    At Mahina''s look I did smile.


    \"I once heard of a boy who was lost in the woods during the winter and two elk lay down next to him all night keeping him warm,\" I told her. \"He was found alive and well the next day, with the imprints from the elk on the ground verifying his story. There are many stories of wild animals saving people. There''s no reason to doubt her story.\"


    I had stood back and listened as the girl had excitedly repeated her story for what had to be the hundredth time. I was surprised at the huge impact I had made on her. She had been willing to tell anyone who would listen about the wolf who guided her out of the woods, then disappeared. The story she weaved was accurate in detail, but her interpretation of my side was fanciful.


    When I went in Monday, John mentioned her as well, but not favorably.


    \"Damn kid is complaining because when she went off and caused a commotion she dropped her wolfy. All that shit and they expect us to be hunting for a stuffed animal!\"


    I was surprised at his venom. Beatrice threw him a dirty look. Before Bea could go off on him I spoke up.


    \"I''ll keep an eye open while I''m out there. If I find it what do I do with it?\"


    John muttered something about an address before stomping off. I wondered what was bothering him. Bea slid me the note with the family''s phone number and address on it. I smiled and winked at her. One way or another the little sister would get her toy wolf.


    I talked with Mac about getting a flight to her city. He arranged a private small plane that would take me and bring me back the same night, as well as a bike I could borrow for when I arrived. Her parents agreed to keep my visit a secret.


    Tuesday evening had me ringing her doorbell. Her mother opened the door. I put a finger to my lips before she could say anything. With a wink and a grin, I let out a whining howl.


    I could hear the thumps from her room before she came flying out of the hall. The girl stopped, staring at me, her eyes wide. I brought the stuffed wolf out from behind my back, moving my fingers slightly to make his head move.


    \"I think someone missed you. I thought about cleaning him up more. I did brush his coat out some, he must have rolled in some leaves while out playing with the wolves...\"


    She stepped forward, her eyes as unblinking as a wolf''s.


    \"You''re a werewolf,\" she whispered, her eyes focused on my face.


    Her mother started to apologize for her, but barely had a chance before the girl ran forward and grabbed my hand, tugging me down the hall. I glanced at her mother for permission, trying not to chuckle at her long-suffering nod.


    I was pulled into the girl''s bedroom, shoved toward her desk as she spun around to slam her bedroom door closed in her mother''s face.


    \"No little sister,\" I said sternly, moving toward the door. \"You do not have a man in your room with a closed door,\" I finished as I opened the door, bowing my head respectfully to her mother. Her mother''s relieved smile and nod were all the permission I needed to stay as her mother withdrew.


    The little sister looked like she wanted to blow up in anger at me. I kept my stern gaze focused on her. I would not tolerate her being disrespectful.


    She took a huffing breath. \"Fine,\" she muttered as she sat on her bed. I headed back to her desk, holding out the stuffed wolf as I sat in the chair. She took in my smile as she took the stuffed wolf from my hands. Her eyes dropped as she focused on the stuffed animal, running her hands through its fake fur.


    Her mom came back to the door with a spray bottle and paper towels.


    \"Mom, I need privacy! The wolf is fine!\"


    \"You know it needs cleaned after...\" her mother started.


    \"Fine,\" the girl yelled, \"then clean it!\" She threw the stuffed wolf at her mother.


    Her mother picked it up from the floor, glancing at me in embarrassment before walking back down the hall.


    \"I thought you weren''t going to yell at your parents anymore Little Sister,\" I said softly.


    Her head snapped toward me. Her eyes got big and her mouth made a silent \"ohhhhh!\"


    I nodded toward the hall. \"Go apologize,\" I told her.


    She slid off the bed, not taking her eyes from me the whole way to the door. She stopped in the doorway. I couldn''t help grinning at her. She laughed and flew down the hall for a second time. I could hear her with her mother.


    I felt sorry for her mother. She was caught between taking care of her daughter, insisting on the things that would keep her as safe as she could, and doing whatever she could to keep her daughter happy, knowing there was only so much time to do so.


    The girl finally came back, coming to stand before me, grabbing my hands once more, just to merely hold them. Finally, after a glance toward her open door, she whispered, \"It''s you!\"


    I gave her a little grin, pretending to be puzzled.


    \"I am indeed me. Who else should I be?\"


    \"No, I mean you''re him!\"


    When I didn''t respond, she sighed in exasperation.


    \"You''re the wolf I met in the woods! You couldn''t stay away! You''re my mate!\"


    That had me blinking.


    \"Little sister, I don''t know how you came to that conclusion...\"


    \"You''re a werewolf!\"


    She crowded in on me to turn her computer on.  I stood, letting her slide into the chair. She clicked and finally showed me a website. She scrolled through things so fast, her dialogue continuing just as fast.


    \"How can you not know these things? Mates are chosen for you by the Moon Goddess, they smell wonderful and you''re drawn to them.\" She went on, explaining how werewolves in her stories worked.


    \"...and when you bite your mate it leaves a special mark like a tattoo, and then I''ll heal automatically and...\"


    \"Little Sister, stop, stop!\"


    I pulled her away from her computer, turning her chair and kneeling before her.


    \"Little Sister, even if I were a werewolf, I would not bite you. Do you see the scars on me?\" I pointed out the few I had on my arm. \"Being a werewolf doesn''t mean you can heal any better or faster than anyone else. It just means you can become a wolf. Believe me, I would bite you a thousand times, little sister, if I thought it would heal you.\"


    I held her hands, looking at her with compassion as tears filled her eyes but didn''t fall.


    \"You''re not a werewolf, you don''t know anything!\"


    She pulled away from me, her bitterness and her anger at death coming out in her tone.


    I reached out, laid my hand firmly on a spot where I could smell the cancer. I touched a second spot, then a third. My hand reached for the fourth spot on her head but I just couldn''t. I leaned the top of my head against her shoulder.


    One small hand barely touched the side of my head. I looked up, a slightly mischievous glint in my eyes.


    \"Are you not going to tell me not to cry, Little Sister?\" I whispered.


    She trembled slightly. I could see the conflict within her. Then she turned away from me.


    \"You''re just mocking me. You''ve read my stories and you''re just making fun of me.\"


    \"I would never mock you, but neither will I lie to you little sister, no matter how hard the truth is. Understand?\"


    She nodded, and I could tell she was trying not to cry. Failing miserably but trying.


    \"Now, about these stories. Do you mind if I read them? I will trade stories with you if you''d like.\"


    \"Anyone can read them.\"


    I pulled out my phone, unlocked it and handed it to her.


    \"Set me up.\"


    \"You really don''t know anything! You have to open an account! Here...\"


    She handed my phone back to me.


    I grinned at her as I set up an account and handed my phone back to her. She did her thing and handed it back.


    \"There, you''re following me now, so you can read to your heart''s content.\"


    Her sarcasm wasn''t lost on me. She still believed I was playing her.


    \"Now Little Sister, we need to talk about mates.\"


    \"Uh uh,\" she said shaking her head. \"You promised stories.\" She crossed her arms across her chest and glared at me.


    \"Why do I have a feeling that no matter what I say right now, you won''t believe me?\" I asked.


    Her turn to say nothing as she continued to glare at me.


    I made a few taps on my phone, set it on her desk. My dad''s voice came through the speaker as I heard her mother moving in the hall, eavesdropping.


    \"Little Wolf, everything all right Son?\"


    \"Fine dad. I need a favor from you if you have a moment.\"


    \"Sure, hang on a sec.\"


    We could hear him yelling. I had to laugh.


    \"Ok, I''m back.\"


    \"What did the wrestling team do this time for you to be riding them on a Tuesday night?\"


    \"That''s what you called about?\" He snorted. \"They got into with the basketball team so they''re all working out together tonight. Now what''s up Son?\"


    \"I promised someone some stories but we''re having a bit of a trust issue here.\"


    \"What did you do now?\"


    \"Just give her the site for the stories, will you please?\"


    There was silence for a moment.


    \"You keep pushing Son. I''m not doing a set of stories about...\"


    \"Dad, I''m here with the girl I told you about from Yellowstone. I''m just talking about the old stories.\"


    \"My name is Tammy!\"


    \"Nice to meet you Tammy, so to speak,\" dad said after a pause. \"I''m Black Wolf. You ready for a website?\"


    Dad hollered out away from the phone, \"Don''t even! Two more laps for that!\"


    \"He coaches,\" I whispered to Tammy.


    \"Ready?\"


    \"Yes sir.\"


    I had to grin at her calling him sir. He gave her the website for the books Mom had written.


    \"Little Wolf, make sure you hook her up with the complete set,\" he added to me.


    \"Yes sir,\" I said, knowing that if I answered him that cheekily in person I would get thwacked across the shoulders.


    \"You still coming out with Mahina this weekend?\"


    \"Yeah, thought she and I might do a bit of hiking after the council meeting.\"


    \"Good. Chani was asking if Derrick was coming out with you.\"


    \"I don''t know, I''ll ask him. I''ll let you know tomorrow night.\"


    \"Good deal, ok, let me get back to these boys. Nice talking with you Tammy. Love you Son.\"


    \"Love you too, Dad.\"


    I nudged her out of her seat, clicked on her computer, putting in the code for a free set of the books. Then I turned around. She and I looked at each other. I held out my hands. Hesitantly she put hers in mine.


    \"The truth Little Sister, nothing less will do.\"


    She nodded, her hands a death grip on mine.


    \"I can love you forever Little Sister, but you are not my mate,\" I said gently. \"Can you accept being my sister?\" Then I leaned close to whisper in her ear even as I shifted my hands enough so they would sprout fur. \"And part of my pack? Please Little Sister?\"


    I pulled back so we could look at each other. She held the truth of my being in her hands.


    \"A thousand bites will make no difference Little Sister,\" I whispered. \"That is the truth. Would that it were otherwise.\"


    She swallowed hard. I couldn''t even name the emotions filling her.


    \"Can I at least be your girlfriend?\"


    \"Little Sister,\" I looked at her with a hint of my previous sternness. She sighed. Tears still glistened in her eyes, even as her one thumb brushed against the fur on my hand.


    \"Who''s Mahina? It''s a weird name.\"


    \"My girlfriend,\" I said with a little grin.


    \"Tell me about her. What did you notice first?\" She asked as she let go of my hands and turned back to her computer.


    Hmmpft. Just like that she seemed to ignore the fact I had revealed to her I was a werewolf.


    \"Her perfume,\" I answered her, slightly bemused.


    \"Her scent?\"


    I sighed. This was backfiring on me.


    Suddenly she shrieked, spinning around and staring at me. She ignored her mother''s quick appearance in the doorway.


    \"She''s your Luna!\"


    Her mother slid back around the corner. I could hear her counting backward from ten under her breath. The woman deserved a medal for her patience with her daughter.


    \"Little Sister...\"


    \"Don''t you Little Sister me! Don''t you know what her name means? It''s Hawaiian for Diana, and it means Moon Goddess!\"

 39 Ch 38 Before the Council

    Wednesday evening had me setting two cups down next to my phone. I had seen Mahina pull in and ordered hers. She gave me a look when I insisted she keep her chair pulled close to mine.


    "I have a date with someone else," I told her, laughing at the look she gave me. My  phone beeped and I set it between us so Mahina could see who I was talking to.


    "Brother? What am I looking at? Which way do you have your camera pointing? Did you read the stories I told you to read? Did you tell her yet? Mom, you said a half hour! We just started!"


    "Little Sister are you yelling again?"


    "No!" A pause. "Yes," she added sullenly. "Mom brought me in a snack. It''s rude to talk and eat."


    "If it makes you feel better Mahina and I are at the coffee shop while we talk."


    "Oh are you having a caramel macchiato? Those are so good but Mom doesn''t let me have too much coffee."


    I laughed at the scrunched up face Tammy was making as I introduced her to Mahina. Tammy was fuming that I hadn''t explained anything to Mahina yet. That took most of the half hour she was allotted.


    We signed off with me agreeing to talk to her the next night, and probably every night. It was easy to see why her mother set limits for her.


    "So she thinks you''re a werewolf?"


    "Worse. She thought I was her werewolf mate whose bite would heal her of her cancer."


    Mahina did a little silent ohhh so similar to Tammy''s as I continued. "But we worked it out. She understands now that my bite won''t heal her, and that she and I are definitely not mates! She has agreed to settle for being my sister, especially once she decided you''re my Luna," I finished with a laugh.


    "I''m still trying to understand exactly what a Luna is supposed to be. Can''t you just convince her you aren''t a werewolf? You''d think that would be easy to do."


    "But I am a werewolf," I whispered with a grin.


    Mahina just shook her head at me. "I''m beginning to understand why people got upset with you when you talked about storytime, even if it was magical."


    I saw humor and love in the look she gave me, making me more determined than ever in my decision to go before the council.


    Later that night I decided to pull one on Mac since I had time while waiting for Jacob to arrive. I was in a playful mood.


    "Hey Mac," I hollered out. I caught Derricks eye and winked with a grin.


    "What?" He came out of the kitchen


    "My secret''s out."


    He gave me this look, worry lines furrowing his brow, absently setting the pan in his hand down on the kitchen table.


    "Yep. Tammy knows I''m a werewolf!"


    Mac''s eyes got big, until Derrick snickered and broke out laughing.


    I laughed as well, shaking my head.


    "That''s the make-a-wish recipient, right?" Derrick asked.


    I nodded, while winking at Mac. Mac looked like he was about to blow a gasket!


    "Yeah, when I showed up at her door and made like her stuffed wolf was howling, she decided I was the wolf that she saw the day of the race. You should have heard her squeal!  She decided on the spot I must be a werewolf!" I laughed some more, pointing a finger at Mac.


    "The look on your face! Totally..."


    Who knew someone that big could move that fast! He had me in a headlock I wasn''t even trying to get out of because I was too busy laughing. He rubbed his knuckles on my head giving me a noogy before letting me go.


    "You are one messed up little shit, you know that?"


    "I do now! Give me your phone."


    "Don''t know why I should. After that stunt I should delete your number," Mac growled while handing me his phone.


    I went to the website and handed it back to him to set up an account. He took his phone back while still glaring at me. He looked oddly thoughtful as he set up his account. I took his phone back, added her profile then sent her a message from Mac''s account.


    Little sister, this is the other human in my pack, and the man who helped arrange my flight to get your wolf back so quickly. Please keep in mind he''s a busy man. Love Little Wolf


    I showed it to Mac.


    "The other? You really have lost your marbles."


    I just chuckled and clapped him on the back. "Tammy wanted to thank you for helping with my transport there."


    I was glad Jacob walked in right then, giving me a reason to avoid an irate Mac. I was curious to see how Jacob planned on teaching me.


    Working with Jacob was like taking what I had learned from both my parents and adding science and math to it. He was surprised at my understanding of anatomy until I told him about my mom being a veterinarian. He used math to explain leverage. I used instinct. He explained about blows against internal organs and the ratio of a strike''s power versus what the muscle can absorb. We worked on aim, making precise hits against specific organs. Even though it didn''t seem like a difficult workout, I found myself satisfyingly wore out by the time he called it a night.


    I could hear Mac in the basement as I made good my escape.


    My boss, John, was still acting strangely at work. He kept sending me off to areas that really didn''t need anything, or had me spending the day doing little busy work.


    The weekend couldn''t come fast enough!


    This time it was Mahina and I on my bike, with her luggage in Derrick''s car. I was used to traveling light, and her full suitcase for a weekend trip left me shaking my head.


    Derrick patted my shoulder. "It''s a woman thing," he said after I had swung it with a grunt into his trunk. "You should see what my mom ends up packing whenever we traveled. I swear she packs everything but the kitchen sink!"


    Both Mahina and Derrick enjoyed the tour of the ice caves, especially since it was a private tour. Derrick was pressuring Chani to talk about whatever was between her and I. He was getting frustrated with her. I knew at some point we would all have to talk about it. For now I tried to ignore them as I enjoyed Mahina''s company.


    That evening I walked into the council meeting on my own. The few times I had been before the council, it had only been a few council members and I had been silent unless some asked me something directly. Usually it was if I gotten into trouble and the council wanted assurance that I would behave. Now for the first time I came on my own behalf.


    Running Elk and I exchanged a look, him acknowledging my medicine bag, me showing him a claw while tilting my head slightly toward the elders. His eyes got wide for a second before he gave a slight nod.


    "Little Wolf, what are you doing here?" asked one of the council members.


    "I have a few things I wanted to make the council aware of."


    "I can''t think of any reason for you to be here. You haven''t been chosen to intern with the council."


    A few others murmured agreement. Before I could respond to what was clearly meant as an insult, Auntie came over and put her hand on the councilman''s arm.


    "Where is your father, Little Wolf?"


    "At home. He isn''t the one with news for the council."


    "Wait in the back of the room, Little Wolf."


    I gave her a slight nodding bow and headed back toward where Running Elk was standing.


    "Cuz?"


    I just shook my head, not willing to get him in trouble. I didn''t understand the attitude I was getting. After awhile I caught his eye and looked down toward my side briefly. I looked back up when I saw him glancing over and used my thumb to double tap my ring finger. I refused to look back over at him. When I finally gave in and moved my eyes slightly he merely flared his nostrils at me to express his excitement, while trying not to grin.


    During our silent conversation the council had finally finished gathering and Grandfather had started the pipe. Only those who were speaking had the pipe passed to them, and I wasn''t invited forward.


    I didn''t come to observe or be ignored. I felt a growl work it''s way up and I swallowed it down. Anna came in, whispered to Auntie, who sent her over to Grandfather. I could see the disconcerted looks from some of the other council members.


    "Is there something we should be aware of?" asked the man from earlier.


    Grandfather was in no hurry, holding out his hand for the pipe. He waited for the pipe to make its way back to him and took a puff before speaking.


    "Little Wolf," he said as his eyes suddenly focused on me, "why don''t you wait at my place and we will speak after the council meeting."


    "I came to make a request or two of the council, and to update you with what has been happening with my pack."


    "Pack," someone scoffed. "You take this wolf thing too far sometimes Little Wolf."


    "This wolf thing?"


    "We will speak later Little Wolf. You are dismissed," Grandfather said, as if I was a child.


    "I came to..."


    "You are dismissed, Little Wolf," Grandfather commanded, raising his voice slightly.


    "Dismissed?" I growled. "Why? Because of this wolf thing?"

 40 Ch 39 Council Meeting

    "You are dismissed, Little Wolf," Grandfather commanded, raising his voice slightly.


    "Dismissed?" I growled. "Why? Because of this wolf thing?"


    ~ ~ ~


    I was close to being wolf. I focused on the claw tips digging into the palm of my hand. It was more than a glare I was sending Grandfather''s way. There was a sudden fury lit inside me. How could the council dismiss anything I had to say about the wolf?


    Grandfather stared staunchly, unflinchingly, back at me. He waited for me to leave. I didn''t move.


    "There is a young girl I have called sister..."


    "You call all of the children little brother or sister," someone said derisively. "This is ridiculous and a waste of our time."


    Grandfather''s hand came up and silence fell. I looked among the council members. Only Grandfather, Auntie, and three others looked back sternly at me, truly looking at me. They were united in their desire for me to be silent and leave. The others... my brow furrowed.


    "The other members don''t know, do they?" I asked as I met the eyes of those who knew. I could tell those who knew what I was by the looks on their faces, as well as the confusion on the faces of those who were clueless about it.


    "We will speak later, Little Wolf, " my grandfather reiterated.


    I shook my head at Grandfather''s obstinance.


    "There are things you need to know."


    "There is nothing of such urgency it needs to be spoken of now. We can speak later," Grandfather replied, narrowing his eyes. He was not accustomed to me defying him.


    "Accepting the girl officially as an honorary tribal member is something only the council can approve of," I replied, trying to keep myself sounding reasonable and calm.


    "The council will discuss it later," Grandfather said, raising his formal pipe in another attempt to end the discussion.


    "You need to know what has happened. The wolf..."


    "Enough!"


    "It''s important, Grandfather."


    "It''s a family matter, Little Wolf, not a matter for the council."


    "You always told me it was a council matter. Why don''t they know? I can do what Dad did if you want. I..."


    "No Little Wolf. You will leave now."


    "If I cannot be who I am before the council... All my life I thought they all knew." My look at my grandfather held all of my confusion. He looked blandly back at me.


    "The full council has not discussed the matter since your father first stood before us asking for your mother''s hand in marriage. Council members have changed since then."


    I stood there, trying to wrap my head around what I was hearing.


    "Then perhaps it is time for the council to..."


    "I will not say it again Little Wolf. You will leave now. We will speak later." Grandfather''s voice held a hint of anger this time. It could not compare with my own.


    "I''m preparing to ask someone to marry me. I thought I''d make the council aware of it."


    Grandfather said nothing. Our gazes were locked in a contest of wills. No one in the room was willing to speak up, believing that it was indeed a family matter.


    Auntie sighed. "You should reconsider, Little Wolf." Auntie''s eyes held compassion as she spoke. "Speak to your father about the difficulties his condition caused for your mother. Having children is not a wise choice for you. The lack of children is something you should consider carefully before asking anyone to join with you in matrimony. Perhaps I should have broached this subject with you earlier, but your mother was going to. We all know how you and your father have been grieving over her loss. It is a private matter. We can discuss it later."


    It was bullshit.


    Mom had often talked to me about the girl I would eventually bring home. She had helped me come up with a plan to ease someone into accepting what I was. She had anticipated grandchildren. We had laughed together about the pups I would someday have. Dad had even commented he hoped that someday they chewed up my shoes! Mom had laughed herself silly! I had never considered not having children.


    "There are others."


    Aunties eyes went wide as her body went still. She had been in middle of gesturing toward the door. Now her hand fell back to her side.


    "There is a pack among my southern brothers," I went on. "One of them has a son. There is a businessman with a daughter. The arctic pack just had twins. There are others. I met them. Spirit Wolf..."


    "YOU WILL BE SILENT!"


    You could have heard a pin drop in the shocked silence after Grandfather''s bellow.


    He didn''t want anyone to know about me! How was I supposed to live like that, hiding from my own people? I thought they all knew about me! To learn otherwise was a shock I struggled to process.


    "Why didn''t you just send my mother away?" I finally asked him. I understood the look that crossed his face. "You''re ashamed of me. Or maybe just embarrassed. You don''t even want to share a peace pipe with me in front of others! What place is there for me here if I cannot be accepted by my own people, my own family? What place will there be for the children I do plan on having? Would you have my future children deny who and what they are? Is that what you want me to do?"


    My look toward Grandfather this time held my pain. All my life my tribe has been home. ''Be silent, Little Wolf. Do not let anyone see what you are.''  These were the rules I had lived by. I saw them now for the cage that they were. My tribe, my FAMILY, wanted me to lock away the wolf within me, to act as if it didn''t exist.


    They wanted the lineage of the wolf within me to die with me.


    I felt so stupid. I had gotten mad at how Sheep''s pack had confined people. I had never seen my own chains.


    Home is where you lay your head, Dad had said. It was wolf thinking. For me, home had always been synonymous with my tribe. I had always known that Dad never felt completely accepted here. Now I understood exactly why. He had no true home. I was his home, his pack. It used to be mom, him, and I. Dad could have spurned the tribe. Instead he did so much for the them. They could have accepted him, even for mom''s sake. Others have had their spouses accepted by the tribe.


    "I have no place here if the family I will eventually have will have no place here," I practically whispered.


    "Of course you have a place here", Grandfather finally said. "Your mother..."


    I cut him off this time. "My mother''s blood within me runs true. I will always feel as if the tribe is my home, even though you reject me."


    "No one is rejecting you Little Wolf," Grandfather said in exasperation.


    "My father''s blood is no less true within me."


    The silence drew out again. Grandfather started to say something but didn''t.


    "You reject that half of me," I accused him. "You do not understand what I have become, the wolf that is within me. You couldn''t even accept Dad into the tribe as an honorary member, not even for mom''s sake. Do you hate what he is that much? What I am?"


    There was only a long, drawn-out silence. The other council members were looking uncomfortable with our family issues being aired in front of them, even if they didn''t know exactly what we were talking about. My eyes didn''t leave Grandfather''s.


    "Do you know what those others call us?" I asked. "It''s embarrassing really. Royal, because I was born with the wolf within me. Noble, because of the true wolf bloodline within me. Did you know that about Dad? About me? You want me to be silent. So be it, " I stated emphatically. "But I cannot deny the connection I have with the others who are out there, a connection made possible through Spirit Wolf. That part is your blood within me Grandfather. I will not deny that connection with others who are like me, not even for you. You can''t deny that you reject that half of me. Father isn''t one with the tribe. He accepted you. You could have accepted him. You chose not to."


    I paused, giving Grandfather a chance to refute me, to say something to make this better. He stayed silent.


    "The girl I spoke of is dying of cancer," I informed them, getting to one of the reasons I came in the first place. "She is my true sister. My bond with her is real. I formally request the council to bestow the position of honorary tribal member to her. Whether the council does or doesn''t will not affect my special connection with her."


    I took a moment to make eye contact with the individual members of the council, ignoring my grandfather for a moment. Most of them seemed to be taking my request seriously enough, with only a few looking annoyed. I took a breath, maintaining my exterior calm.


    "I will soon be engaged," I continued. "I do not ask the council''s permission. The woman I have come to love will know all of what I am before I accept her answer. Again, the council has no say in my decision. And as for my pack... it is Spirit Wolf''s pack, but on this side of the River of Life, I am it''s Alpha, it''s leader. I thought you all should know that soon the wolf will dance."


    There were murmurs among the council members at that, for the wolf dance was a war dance among my mother''s people. I held up my hand for silence.


    "It has nothing to do with the tribe, but everything to do with Spirit Wolf''s pack. I had thought to keep the tribe informed of what has been happening, but since you desire my silence, I will not speak of it. I have said what I came to say. I will not ever waste the council''s time again."


    I gave a slight bow toward the council in general, still ignoring my grandfather. It was bad enough feeling like I had just lost both my tribe and my family. There was pain at the realization I never had them. My connection with them was through my mother, and she was gone. What I had gotten from the council members that knew about me was the desire for what I was to die. They might as well have just stabbed my heart.


    On top of my pain there was anger. I had never been so angry. It wasn''t wolf fury, it was human rage. I wanted to storm out. I wanted to run, tearing up the ground with my claws to release my anger. Instead I moved with steady solid strides, full of dignity.


    I could hear my old refrain in me. Be a man.


    I held my head high all the way home.

 41 Ch 41 Family

    Dad came in as I was stuffing a few of my things in a small, plastic grocery bag. I knew I had to smell an odd mix of emotions. I waited for him to say something. He just sighed before moving away. I could hear him in the kitchen, then the door as he went out the back.


    Is it weird that even though he didn''t make a sound, I still heard every word he didn''t say? This was home, and to some part of me it always would be. I dropped the bag of childhood mementos at the bottom of my closet and headed outside.


    "Did they approve of Tammy becoming an honorary member?" Mahina asked as I made my way over to her.


    "They''re going to discuss it," I told her, not really wanting to get into it. "I told them regardless of what they decided, I would be calling her sister. She''s part of my pack, right?"


    Mahina laughed. Dad looked at me like he wanted to crawl in my head and figure out what was happening with me.


    Running Elk came around the corner of the house then.


    "Hey Uncle Black Wolf. Any sodas left in the fridge?"


    "Hang on, I''ll bring a few more out."


    Running Elk sat down heavily next to me, knocking his shoulder against mine, then leaning against me.


    "Hey Mahina," he said as he leaned forward slightly to wave at her.


    "Hey Running Elk. What''s up?"


    "I got to be a fly on the wall tonight. One of the best nights ever! You should have seen the look on Grandfather''s face! He..."


    "What did you do, Little Wolf," asked Dad as he handed Running Elk a soda.


    "He stood up to Grandfather! It was awesome,"


    Running Elk started, full of enthusiasm for some reason.


    I threw him a look. "Grandfather is an ass...owww!"


    "You will not speak about your mother''s father like that."


    "I tried to update the council," I told him as I rubbed my head. Dad hadn''t held back. "Only the old ones knew. Auntie said..." I closed my eyes, the anger still eating at me. I couldn''t bring myself to repeat what Auntie had said about not having children, not in front of Mahina.


    "Your mother always dealt with the council."


    "Yeah, I think mom lied. She dealt with Grandfather, not the council. He hates me...us."


    "He doesn''t hate you," Dad said. He didn''t say anything about himself. Nor did he say anything about my belief that mom had lied.


    I looked at him, saw his slight shrug. I sighed.


    "Little Sister was right, I don''t know anything."


    Dad only sighed back at me, giving me a wry grin. He looked up with narrowed eyes when Uncle Two Feathers walked by, purposefully not looking our way.


    "Still on lockdown?" I asked Running Elk.


    "He''s just mad because I know. You should have seen the look on Grandfather''s face when he told me I didn''t understand and I told him I understood quite well, ever since I found my spirit guide."


    We shared a look that helped heal the damage in my soul. Screw Grandfather. I still had family among the people.


    "Still good cuz" we said at the same time, then busted out laughing.


    "Best night ever, that one," said Running Elk, tilting his bottle in a salute toward my dad.


    Dad gave a little nod of acknowledgment.


    "Now I''m feeling totally lost," said Mahina.


    "Maybe I''ll tell you about that night sometime. In the meantime, there is something I can tell you that will help. You remember that story I told you about Dad? It''s basically true, with one little catch. Everything I told you about me and Dad can be summed up in one word. It''s that one word that makes the difference. I..."


    "Room for one more?" asked Anna from the back door.


    I closed my eyes and took a breath. Anyone else plan on coming by to stop me from telling Mahina what she needed to know? I wanted to tell Anna to get lost. I no longer trusted her. However, I could smell Anna''s nervousness. I motioned her over.


    "Did you know Anna used to babysit me? She''s got to be the oldest person to hang with the teens ever! She''s got, what, eight years on me? She was the only person Grandfather trusted to watch over me."


    Anna had the good graces to look embarrassed. She understood what I was insinuating, that the only reason she was here was because Grandfather had sent her.


    She shook her head in a negative as she sat down. "Auntie was wrong to say what she did, Little Wolf. If anyone would know, I would. I loved your mother. She and I often talked. I''m glad you and Mahina are together."


    "I''m beginning to wonder just what was said," Dad said as he looked between the three of us. I saw hidden anger in him. I think he might have heard the same things when he and Mom got married.


    The one thing I knew for sure my mom never lied about was her desire to become a wolf and to have me. I''d have to guess she lied at least to me about Grandfather and the council in order to protect me from any tension between them. I had already figured out Grandfather had an attitude about Dad.


    I smiled slightly, feeling the love of family, the family that mattered. Both Running Elk and Anna knew about me. They accepted, approved, and looked forward to my future. I sighed again, playing with Mahina''s hand, giving Running Elk a nudge away from my other side.


    He laughed, finally getting up and moving to the other side of the fire. Dad just gave us both his customary growl and headed back into the kitchen.


    "So what happened?" asked Mahina.


    "Grandfather happened," exclaimed Running Elk.


    I couldn''t help grinning at the anger and frustration in Running Elk''s tone. It helped to know my anger had company, that I wasn''t just overreacting.


    "Things weren''t what I thought is all. The council thinks I play at being wolf. They don''t understand how much the wolf is part of me. And it''s going to be a bigger part as time goes on. You remember what I said about my spirit guide, how tight the connection was?"


    I waited for Mahina to nod, tightening her grip on my hand. I grinned at Running Elk, then looked at Anna.


    "If all you''re going to do is run straight to Grandfather, you might as well leave now. I meant what I told the council. The wolf is no longer their concern.


    "I''m not, "Anna said softly. "I came because they were wrong. You''re family, and it''s important to me that you know that.  Besides, Running Elk and I are part of the future council. Honestly, you should be too."


    "No," I said thoughtfully, "that isn''t where my path leads anymore. I lead a different kind of tribe." I gave a slight chuckle as I brought Mahina''s hand up for a kiss. "I''m the pack''s alpha, right?"


    I went on before she did more than look at me in exasperation.


    "I''m serious. There are others like me. Some are really decent, family-oriented people. Then there are others that need help. They look to me for leadership and guidance; guidance I can give because of my connection to Spirit Wolf. It''s a very real thing, and forever part of my life now. To accept me is to accept that part of my life."


    "No pressure," said Running Elk with a grin toward Mahina. "So how many others like you are there?"


    "I don''t know. I see them in the mists of visions. Some I have met, others I will meet. Let''s see. Lone Wolf and the group he''s working with? There are," I did some quick math in my head, "seventeen there. Arctic has at least half a dozen, probably more."


    "And they had twins?" asked Anna.


    "A boy and a girl, babies, and mother doing fine. I met the dad. Businessman has a daughter and she has a group of guards, so at least another half dozen. There are others."


    "Guards? Why guards?" asked Anna.


    "The wolf will dance. Not like I dance with you," I said to Mahina with a smile. "Among my mother''s people, a wolf dance is a war dance. Most of the people like me are guys, which makes the women rare and special, to the point some guys will fight over them. It''s a new danger I recently discovered. It''s also one of the reasons I would be more than willing to do a wolf dance."


    I paused, letting what I said sink into Running Elk and Anna. Dad was standing in the doorway. I wasn''t sure Mahina understood.


    "This is going to sound odd," I said focusing on Mahina, "but it''s important. I''ve recently learned that oh, about fifteen years ago, there were three groups that fought over women too, uh, breed with them, uh, forcefully, you know? How do I not do everything I can to stop such abuse?


    "See, they have the same genetic thing dad and I have, and it''s more than just the smelling ability. We can pass it on. Some of those like me are close-knit family groups. Protecting family kinda comes naturally. What we are does have it''s dangers, but it also has such beauty. That''s what mom loved most, the beauty."


    I found my thumb moving along Mahina''s hand. Somehow I wasn''t sure what I was saying was coming outright. I''d probably have to go over it all again, filling in the information with stories. I was much better with stories than just relating facts.


    Mahina gave my hand a tug, getting my attention and bringing my eyes up to her face. The look I shared with her held all my love for her. I knew she might not be able to accept everything, and that was ok. I did trust her to keep my secret, but I needed her to say she would.


    "If it''s all too much for you, that''s ok. I will always care for you. I want you to know that. I will ask that you not share what I tell you with anyone else. It''s kind of a contradiction, me asking that. Just, if you feel a need to share it with someone, talk with me about it first. That''s all I''ll ask."


    If she didn''t understand anything else, Mahina understood the seriousness of my request.


    "Of course," she said nodding.


    "Dad and I were both born as we are. Mom wasn''t. Dad... infected her, for lack of a better word, before I was born. It was something she wanted. She always said she got the council''s permission. I''m betting she lied out her.."


    I changed what I was going to say when dad cleared his throat slightly from the doorway.


    "I don''t think she had anyone''s permission, not even Grandfather''s. That''s why he hates, well, he doesn''t want to have anything to do with it. He''d rather I ignore what is within me. I can''t. If he could have felt the love Spirit Wolf has for his people..."


    Mahina took her turn moving her thumb along my hand. "It''s a disease then?"


    "Maybe, technically? But I''ve never looked at it that way. It enhances everything about the wolf in me. It added things about the wolf to mom. She loved what it did with her vision. She did her best carvings afterward. She also accepted the change to her system so her body wouldn''t reject a fetus. What is within me, well, it does raise some possible complications when it comes to having children. Not impossible, but not without risk. Auntie was right that you should be aware of that before we make any attempts at having children. I''m not saying you have to do what mom did, choosing what is in dad and I. It''s an option, not a necessity, I think. I don''t know. The arctic matriarch is probably the best one to talk to about having kids. It''d be interesting to visit with their tribe."


    I stopped my contemplations and focused on Mahina again.


    "So, are we at that point yet, where children should be a part of our conversation?"


    "I thought we had already passed that point," she answered with a gleam in her eyes, even as she blushed a bit.


    I couldn''t help smiling as I leaned over to kiss her. When I pulled away from her lips, I moved my mouth to her ear.


    "I really am a werewolf," I whispered.

 42 Ch 42 All of Me

    "I am a werewolf. For real," I said at her exasperated look. "I honestly am. I''ll show you, when you''re ready."


    "You should go out to the woods," said Anna nervously.


    "You''ve never seen it, have you?" grinned Running Elk.


    "I''ve seen the wolf," said Anna. "River Woman was a beautiful wolf."


    "The transition is something to see. When he stood up that night! Did I ever mention how beautiful your mom was? I really was in awe. Just, uh, don''t do the shoulder thing. It looked," he paused trying to find the right word, "weird."


    "Wait, I thought you said you found out the night you got your spirit guide! When did you see River Woman?" asked Anna, suddenly full of suspicion.


    "I saw her the anniversary of her death," Running Elk said softly. Anna''s eyes went wide when she caught his meaning. I caught his eye, grinned at him.


    "Best night ever!" we said again in unison.


    Mahina didn''t say anything. I think she half expected us to say we were pulling her leg.


    I added fur to my hand, the same way I did for Sister. Her startled look was priceless.


    "Dad worked hard with me, controlling my ability to change between man and wolf. He worked hard just training me. I love being what I am. You should have seen me in the fire. I carried that girl out on my back. I never would have made it either in or out without being what I am. When she looked at me, she saw Spirit Wolf. Spirit Wolf even gave her a message that I didn''t know anything about," I said, grinning a little before getting serious again.


    "You ready for more?"


    "This is real. You really are?"


    "I really am. I''m also still me, the same me you''ve gotten to know since I bumped your table at the coffee shop. I''m not the kind of werewolf that''s in Sister''s stories." I chuckled a bit. "The real thing, like I told Sister, is being a man, who can be a wolf. Or is it being a wolf who can be a man? I''m both, have been both. And before you ask, the moon is irrelevant!"


    "Show me," Mahina said softly.


    I took off my shirt and looked around the neighborhood. I partially shifted, adding fur and claws, my face taking on just a hint of the wolf. I didn''t hold it long, just in case someone came around a corner.


    Mahina had moved her hand along my furred arm. She looked fascinated and thoughtful. I wondered if it had really sunk in yet. Running Elk was grinning. I followed his line of sight to take in Anna, who had a fist in her mouth, her eyes huge. I think she was in shock. I leaned over and pulled her hand out of her mouth.


    "You ok?"


    "No. Grandfather said... it doesn''t matter. I''m ok. I''ll be ok. You''re family, Little Wolf. This doesn''t change that. It''s just..."


    "It''s all right," I said. "I know it takes a bit of getting used to."


    "I''d like to see you as a full wolf," said Mahina.


    "You already have," I said with a grin, "on the cover of each of my mother''s books. And since Sister insisted you read them all, you already know everything about it, except that I can change physically. Remember what Sister said?"


    Mahina stared at me a second, her eyes getting big before understanding took over and she laughed out loud a little. I had a big smile myself, especially since she seemed to be accepting everything pretty well. Sister had told Mahina that the children''s stories were a good example of what a werewolf child should learn. Sister had insisted Mahina tell her what her favorite pictures of me as a wolf pup were. I think Sister had stayed up and read all of the children''s books about me in one night!


    "I still want to see you, in real life."


    "Go for a walk with me?"


    "Sure," she said, getting up. She seemed a little hesitant when I held out my hand for her, but she took it, looking slightly troubled and very thoughtful.


    "Dad, be back later."


    "No problem."


    I caught a whiff as I stood, and turned toward the back door where Dad had stayed.


    "I have this," he said. "Just go. Don''t have too much fun, and stay away from our neighbor''s den."


    "Yes, sir."


    I was thoughtful as I took Mahina''s hand.  I know what I had smelled, and I understood now why Dad had stayed in the doorway. Grandfather had come. Dad had kept him from interfering. I had seen the claws on Dad, had smelled the increase of the wolf within him. I figured it was about time Grandfather had an up-close and personal encounter with us. Better Dad than me. I might do something I''d regret.


    "We have a pack of natural wolves that moved in last fall. There should be pups around soon."


    I kept the conversation on our neighboring wolf pack as we walked away holding hands. I kept things casual looking. I pretended not to notice our audience.


    Uncle Two Feathers didn''t even try to hide his stare. The other two older council members followed behind us at a distance for a while. I stopped when I knew we were out of sight of the council members. We had left the houses far behind, having walked for about half an hour.


    "In Sister''s stories, the werewolf always goes behind a tree so no one has to deal with being naked. Dad and I have gotten fast at stripping. If I half-shift, there''s a fair bit of fur. I mean, you''d see me naked as a wolf anyway, if you know what I mean?"


    I paused, seriously considering shifting behind a tree, but I didn''t want to hide anything from Mahina.


    "This is more awkward than I thought it would be," I said running my hand through my hair. "Of course, I never really pictured shifting in front of someone. It''s different shifting in front of other guy wolves. I did once in front of someone who wasn''t a wolf. Mac had come out but that was..."


    Mahina put her finger on my lips. "You''re rambling. Are you nervous?"


    "More than I should be," I said grinning.


    "Anything I can do to help?"


    "Hmmm," was all that came out of me as I went for a kiss, ecstatic that she allowed it. I kept it a simple one, glad that she didn''t object. I dared another and was gratified when she returned my gentle smooch. I pulled back to look at her. She gave me a nod, steeling her courage. I took her hands in mine.


    "I don''t know if I have actually said it or not, but I love you, very much. Even if you don''t want to marry me because of this... I know it''s a lot."


    She put her finger to my lips again. "Got to be the most original marriage proposal ever," she said teasingly.


    "Uh, uh," I said seriously. "I am not asking you to marry me, not yet. This is just the prelude. It wouldn''t be fair to ask, without you having time, real time, to let all this sink in and give it real thought. Me being a werewolf, and honestly it isn''t a word we use, we''ve always just referred to it as being wolf, but me being a werewolf isn''t something to bring up after asking you to marry me. That wouldn''t be fair. Trust me, when I do ask, I plan on doing it right proper."


    I was already down to shorts. I stepped back, smiled at her, and dropped to all fours, shifting as fast as I could so she wouldn''t get nauseated like Running Elk had. I sat back on my haunches, my tail wagging uncomfortably in the shorts, my tongue lolling out slightly. It was a pose I used to practice in front of my mirror, trying for the ''friendly dog'' look.


    Mahina''s fingers reached out, much as Sister''s had in the woods. Her fingers became entwined in my ruff. I closed my eyes briefly, sighing in contentment. I started rubbing on her, wanting my scent to cover her. She laughed, not realizing what I was doing.


    "A wolf in shorts! Why don''t Sister''s stories just have the wolves keep the clothes on?"


    "Because they''d look pretty silly," I answered her as I shifted back. "And they aren''t comfortable to wear when running; let alone with a tail," I added with a bit of a teasing grumble.


    "Show me how you looked in the fire."


    We probably spent an hour with me leisurely going through my shifts. I finally managed enough courage to slip the shorts off. It felt ridiculous being embarrassed for her to see me as a naked wolf! I mean I had fur, and she had seen enough of my bare skin as a human. I hid my embarrassment by playing with her, being careful not to jump up on her. It was too easy to get excited around her and that wasn''t something I couldn''t hide as a wolf!


    I kept us moving, mostly in a big circle. We talked about what it meant to be a wolf, both as a natural wolf and a werewolf. By the time we headed back, I knew the council members had given up trying to watch us. I couldn''t help but wonder if they had thought their presence was going to stop me.


    The council members who knew were sitting out behind Uncle''s house when we got back. There was no sign of Grandfather. I couldn''t help pointing them out to Mahina. She was a match for me alright! She waved to them, then made a point of stopping and kissing me before we walked on, our hands still entwined.


    Dad was out by the fire. Running Elk and Anna had stayed. Derrick had finally come back around after spending the evening with Chani. He waved me over when he saw us.


    "So, I had a chat with Chani tonight."


    "Really? I had a chat with Mahina, " I said. She and I shared a grin and Running Elk snorted.


    "About Chani?" Derrick asked.


    "What about Chani?" asked Mahina.


    "Chani and I went to prom together," I said. "We both love dancing and always seemed a natural couple. I knew back then though that there would never be anything between us. She could never accept the wolf within me, pressuring me to change my ways. It always kinda ticked me off, you know? That''s probably why I embarrassed her the night of prom. I don''t think she''s ever really forgiven me."


    "Or ever really gotten over you," said Derrick.


    "Ya think bro?" asked Running Elk incredulously with a chuckle. "Everyone knows Chani still has a thing for Little Wolf and everyone but Chani knows that ain''t nothing ever going to happen there."


    "Chani is hopeless," added Anna. "I''ve tried to tell her."


    "Chani is a decent person," I said, "very sweet, damn good photographer too. Just not for me," I added as I gave Mahina''s hand a squeeze, smiling at her.


    She smiled back. "I like Chani. Maybe it''ll help if she and I had a talk. Maybe we''ll go out for lunch tomorrow. I can get the inside scoop on you." She gave me that teasing grin I was becoming very familiar with.


    "I can''t think of anything about me you don''t already know."


    "Obviously you''ve never heard girls talk. And you''ll stay away tomorrow! Promise?"


    I gave her a nod as she grabbed Derrick''s phone to call Chani. I was surprised Chani agreed.


    "So, you two good?" Dad asked Mahina after she gave Derrick his phone back.


    Mahina nodded as she went for my hand again.


    "Hmm. We might have to do a family outing tomorrow night, maybe a trip to the pointe. Mac hasn''t filled you in yet Derrick?"


    "No, not yet."


    "We still have to drive back, Dad, " I complained. "I don''t want to leave out too late. But a trip to the pointe...might have to spend a weekend camping up there. Next weekend I''m driving up for that training Mac set up for me. I''ll be fifteen days with that. What say we plan for the weekend after that?


    "What kind of training?" asked Running Elk.


    "Don''t laugh. Dog training for drugs."


    Despite my command otherwise, Running Elk busted out laughing. "Cuz!"


    He couldn''t get anything else out. Dad finally gave him an attention-getting punch to his shoulder. Running Elk tried to stop laughing, which caused Mahina to start giggling.


    "Oh shut up, the both of you!" but I couldn''t help chuckling a bit myself. Anna looked caught between wanting to join in and not wanting to offend me. At Derrick''s look I added "because of the nose thing. Actually though, I''m going to learn about training the dogs. Can I help that I''ll learn what the dogs are taught at the same time?"


    Even Dad let out a smile. It felt good to end the night with laughter shared with friends and family. The laughter tempered the rage that had been in me.


    I knew things were not good between me and my elders, but I also knew I still had family. As far as the rest of the tribe went, well, they never had known, so I was still just me being me as far as anyone else was concerned.


    I shared a look with Running Elk. We gave each other a slight nod. We''d get together later, probably while the girls were having lunch, so he could fill me in with what happened after I left the council meeting, and I could tell him about showing Mahina what I was.


    The last of the knot in my stomach began to dissipate. Grandfather had been what he had always been, just in front of the council. I had a feeling the newer council members might have some questions for him. However he answered them, it was no longer my concern, just like I was no longer his concern. It felt good letting go of that bit of stress.


    Mahina tugged my hand. I couldn''t help smiling at her even as I leaned in for a kiss. Having her know about me and accept me was also a relief.


    Running Elk gave out a teasing holler as Mahina and I prolonged our kiss. That''s what you have to put up with when you have family!

 43 Ch 43 Detour

    "Rick, any chance of driving by the north access road on your way out," asked my boss John as I headed out Friday. He had already held me up so I was the last one out.


    "I can," I answered. "What do you need?"


    "I was just concerned about those tremors we''ve been having and wanted to make sure the emergency access road is clear for the weekend."


    "No problem. I''ll text you with its condition."


    "I appreciate it."


    I waved to John as I pulled out on my bike. I hadn''t been able to figure out what was going on with him lately. My mind was still going over John''s odd behavior when I saw a car pulled over on the main road out of Yellowstone. Slowing down, I saw Derrick standing by his car, with its hood up. I quickly pulled over.


    "Problem?"


    "I think my radiator blew."


    I glanced underneath the front end of his car.


    "Good guess," I said with a laugh. "Get on. I told John I''d drive through the north access road on my way out. We can stop by an auto parts store, get that stuff that stop leaks and bring some water back, see if we can get it going."


    I handed Derrick the spare helmet and was soon heading down the access road. I hoped the delay didn''t interfere with Sister''s nightly call. Sister had been excited to learn that Mahina now knew about me. She was more excited that I had told her before I had told Mahina. And here poor Derrick was still in the dark!


    I was passing a high point, just past where the tremors had been, when I felt something hit my arm. The bike wobbled a little. I straightened it out. It wobbled again. My vision blurred. I started slowing down. I felt Derrick grab me, yell something in my ear, but I couldn''t focus. I tried my hardest to get the bike stopped. I wasn''t sure I did before everything went black.


    I came to slowly. It was dark. Was it night? My mind felt groggy. There was no wind, not the least hint of a breeze. There was solid rock beneath me, not grass or dirt.


    I went to move, and found out I couldn''t. I could feel the strips of plastic that had me bound, cutting into my skin. I laid still for a moment. I wiggled my fingers and toes, flexed muscles in my legs and arms, felt the breath within me, verifying I had nothing broken or damaged, just sore and scraped up.


    I brought out enough of the wolf within me to look and listen. I heard ragged breathing next to me. I could smell Derrick, so whatever had happened, we were in it together.


    I took a deeper breath, giving myself a moment, trying to get my bearings and not panic. I could faintly smell the drugs I had only gotten whiffs of. I could smell at least three different men who had been around this area. I didn''t smell anyone close. I could hear someone, but it was distant and oddly muted. It took a second before I realized I was in a cave, and the sounds were echoing through caverns.


    I move my arms slowly, feeling where they were tied. My ankles were also bound. This was something I could get out of. I wished there was a hint of light so I could see what was around me. I wiggled around. I could feel my phone in my back pocket still.


    I had to try and reason through the fog in my brain. Something had hit my arm and I had blacked out. Someone had hit me with a tranquilizer. John had a tranquilizer gun. He used to be a sharpshooter and was the one who shot the wolves that got tagged.


    So, John had kept me back, sent me along a specific road, purposely sent me out to get shot. The question was why? I was about to be gone for almost three weeks for training. To hold me made no sense.


    Derrick groaned next to me.


    "Shhhh. No one is close and I don''t want them to come check on us," I whispered. "Are you ok?"


    "No, my arm hurts like hell," he whispered back in a strained voice. "What happened?"


    "I think we were hit with a trank gun, or at least I was. Did you get knocked out when the bike stopped or..."


    "I was pinned under the bike for a sec,"


    He said, "and my shoulder hit the ground hard, then I blacked out. I came to with someone dragging me. I remember struggling, something hit my arm, probably the butt of a rifle. I passed back out." He paused. "I think it''s broke."


    "Ok, let me look around for a sec. I''ll try to find something to cut you lose."


    "You aren''t tied up? The way my arms are tied is killing me," he said quietly, his voice filled with pain.


    "I am, but I can get out," I whispered. "Hang on."


    I altered my hands and wrists, wriggling my now smaller limbs out of the ties. Feet and ankles were next, my feet leaving my work boots behind, even as my front paws became hands to pull the plastic loop away. I changed back to man, straightened out my clothes, and reached into my pockets. I had to chuckle.


    "These guys are stupid. They didn''t empty my pockets. Hang on."


    I pulled out my pocket knife and went to work on Derrick''s bindings. He was free in minutes.


    "Let me get us some light," Derrick said. I could hear his phone slide out of his pocket. I grabbed his hand before he could turn it on.


    "It''s pitch black back here. They might see any light. We have to make sure they won''t see. I''m going closer to where I can hear them, get the lay of the land"


    "Rick!"


    "Shh, trust me."


    I moved my shoes off to the side, stepped away from Derrick and stripped quickly. I moved away on four legs. I was actually able to get pretty close until I came to a makeshift fence with a gate in it. The gate was locked with a padlock. There were lights a distance away and I could hear the hum of a generator.


    I moved quickly to the side, under a table, and held very still. The voices were getting closer.


    "What do you mean there were two of them? You stupid shits! Shut up and let me think!"


    That was John, no mistaking it. There was enough light I could make out two of the guys with him. I didn''t see or hear the third.


    I looked around the area I was in, seeing more as a wolf than I ever could as a human. I partially shifted, snagged a plastic bag and a few supplies. There were a few snacks laying around, half a case of water, a few flashlights. I took one flashlight as I kept listening.The small plastic grocery bag they had brought the snacks back in filled up as I added some water bottles.


    "Where''d you put them?"


    "In the back."


    "Where they can escape through the fissures? You stupid..."


    "They''re tied up. Ain''t like anyone can find their way through that mess anyway, heck, you can''t even fit through most of them."


    "You can''t, you big oaf!"


    I took one more look around for anything I could use to help with Derrick''s arm. There was a pack of zip ties I slid in the bag. There was a small pallet that had a broken board hanging down. I gave the loose piece a tug, grateful when the section of planking fell off easily. I gave a quick glance to the arguing men to see if they heard the slight crack of the board breaking loose, but they were too caught up in discussing what to do with Derrick and I.


    I wanted to head back to Derrick, having heard enough. I scoured the workstation they had set up, finally spotting a screwdriver for the other half of a splint. It took precious time sliding it out silently.


    Heading back to Derrick, I stayed at a half shift, so my black fur would keep me from being noticed. I kept my side against the wall this time instead of following the scent trail the men had left coming and going. I found three small cracks in the wall, one of which might be big enough to squeeze through, though I doubted it went anywhere.


    Once I was close enough to smell Derrick, I set the bag down and continued along the wall. They had mentioned fissures we could escape through, if I could find them in the dark. The space we had been left in was a natural room. There was an alcove off on the one side. It narrowed down into a shallow crack. I was pretty sure we both could slide through it. I leaned into it as far as I dared, catching the barest scent of someone familiar.


    I hurried back to the bag, bringing it closer to Derrick. I think I shifted and dressed in record time.


    "Rick? That you?" Derrick hissed.


    "Who else silly?" I whispered back. "I managed to knick a few things but we have to go. I''m going to check your arm then we move, and fast! I''ll fill you in in a bit."


    He didn''t ask any questions. I debated whether to fix Derrick''s arm now or later, finally deciding he would move faster with it splinted. I grabbed the screwdriver and the piece of slat that I broke off the pallet, and a few zip ties.


    "Now Derrick, I''m going to splint your arm. If it''s only fractured, no problem, but if it''s broke, I might have to set the bones, and that''ll hurt."


    "Set away," Derrick said, "because it feels like more than a fracture."


    I reached out until my hands felt him. He moved them over to his busted arm. I felt from his shoulder down, feeling the bump where the break was. Shit. At least it was only one bone in his upper arm.


    "Is your other arm ok?"


    "Yeah, but the shoulder hurts."


    I put my shoe in his good hand, adjusting it so the toe was pointing toward his mouth.


    "It ain''t pretty, and it won''t taste good, but bite down. We can''t afford for you to scream out. Oh, and try not to pass out. Here," I said, helping with my shoe. "Ready?"


    He mumbled and I moved the bone. As much as I sympathized with Derrick, I hoped his muffled cry didn''t bring anyone to check on us. It felt like a clean break, and I was hoping I had it set right.


    Derrick had passed out with my shoe in his mouth. I took my shoe out and went to work splinting his arm. I tightened the wooden slat and wrench against his arm using the zip ties, then ripped up my undershirt to tie his arm to his torso. I used one strip for a makeshift splint to support his wrist, keeping everything snug against his body.


    It took a bit to wake him. He groaned. I opened his mouth, tilted his head back a little, and dribbled in a bit of water. He coughed, and I held my hand over his mouth.


    "You did good," I whispered. "I''m done, set and splinted. We have to move, now. Hope you''re ready," I whispered in his ear.


    I led him to the alcove, carrying the bag of stuff that just might save us. I guided him into the back of the alcove, keeping my hand on his head, going from memory and smells to guide him down.


    "You''re going to have to roll a little. I''m going to go first to help you down. I''m not sure how far."


    I pulled out my phone and held it through the opening. There was about a four foot drop. Easy for me, harder for Derrick, but not impossible. I put my phone away, whispered directions to Derrick, and helped him down.


    Now, which way to go? I had to pace around for a bit while Derrick sipped on some water. I finally made a decision, based partly on the old trail that smelled of John. It smelled stronger on the one side. I was putting together more of the story.


    "Look, Derrick, I grabbed a brick of their drugs, but I don''t know what they are or what they''ll do. I was thinking one, we would have evidence, and two, a little bit might help your pain. I don''t know, it''s up to you. I have a little of the herbs I make my tea with, might help a little but probably not enough to actually make a difference. I''m going to give you the herbs for now, and after we get to where we know we''re safe, you can decide if you want to try the drugs."


    He didn''t argue. I opened my medicine bag, my fingers feeling the stone. I took a moment to pray to Spirit Wolf. Holding the stone, I dumped the herbs out before replacing the stone and putting the bag back around my neck.


    "Hold them under your tongue for as long as you can. Stuff gets absorbed faster that way. Swallow them down after a bit."


    "What, you''re not going to make me drink wussy tea?"


    "Nah man, you''d never live it down! Now shush and come on. We have to move fast. I''m going to risk a bit of light. You go in front at your best speed. We''ll rest later."


    I pulled out the flashlight and put what was left of my shirt in the bag. I tied my shoe laces together, draping my work boots around my neck. Derrick handed me the water bottle. I nodded. I didn''t want to leave any trace behind. Luckily there wasn''t any dirt, only stones, so I didn''t have to worry about us leaving a trail they could follow. I came up on Derrick''s relative good side so I could support his body and shone the light in front of Derrick''s feet.


    I stopped to peek into every opening we passed as Derrick went on. If we needed to hide quick I needed to know where would work. I also kept an eye open along the rough flooring for any pockets deep enough to lay low in, and rocks big enough to take cover behind.


    I thought we were making half-way decent time, until I heard voices behind us. I turned my light off immediately, making Derrick cuss as he stumbled.


    "Stop," I told him. "We have to go back a bit."


    "Why?"


    "Because there was a fissure back there we can hide in. Hush. We have to move quickly."


    I pulled him back to the fissure, pushing him through. I only kept the light on for a second once we were inside before turning it off. They were too close. I pulled Derrick to the side.


    "Up," I whispered in his ear. I moved his good hand to the ledge I had seen. He could barely reach it with his fingertips, hissing as his reach pulled against his bad side. I tossed the bag up then boosted him up, letting him climb me like a ladder. I stripped quickly, knotting my jeans into a ball and tossing them up, along with my boots. I shifted, took a running start, and leapt up, claws scraping against the stone. I shoved Derrick in as tight as he would go against the far wall. I shifted a leg to move my clothes in, then curled around him with only my back covered in black fur exposed to the opening.


    Even Derrick could hear them at that point. I heard his breath hitch. He was laying on his sore shoulder with his splinted arm on top.


    We laid there, listening to them pass. It sounded like two of them. They might have seen our light, or heard of voices from a distance. I dared a "shhh" in Derrick''s ear when he squirmed a bit.


    Wolf patience. I kept Derrick still. They had to give up on finding us, and I wasn''t sure they would. Sure enough, a third man went by. He was taking the time to shine his light in every fissure, every nook and cranny, but he didn''t shine it up as high as we were.


    It made me think. I could leave Derrick here. There were enough snacks and water to tide him over for a day. I was more worried about the pain in his arm. He might make sounds if he fell asleep. I might have to guard him while he slept.


    I waited until I was sure the men were gone. Unfortunately there were only two directions they could go, the unknown way out or the way back to their lair. I wondered if I could make it back and out, bring back help for Derrick, all before he gave himself away. I could at least sneak back, see what I could find.


    The alternative was wandering around, hoping to find that hidden way out. I shifted so my voice wouldn''t be weird and, whispering, filled Derrick in on what I had planned.


    "You sure you can stay awake for a bit?" I asked him.


    "Yeah, but I wanna go on record that I think you''re stupid for doing this."


    I laughed quietly. "I''ll be back. Trust me."


    I shifted even as I dropped the six feet down, landing silently. Wolf leaving his den I thought with a laugh.


    Not even Derrick heard me leave.

 44 Ch 44 The Hunted and the Prey

    Four paws glided across the rough stone surface. I kept my head down to minimize how much of the lighter colored fur I had on my neck would show. My side brushed against the stone wall while I backtracked, making note of the openings. It took no time going back. I was careful to sniff and listen before jumping back up the small drop to the area Derrick and I had woken up in.


    The gate was open. I listened carefully before padding into the lighted areas, staying beneath the tables when I could. I saw guns laying around. That was not good. I thought of taking one, but decided against it.


    I heard someone moving. I crept closer. There was a guy near the entrance of the cave, wandering around on occasion outside.


    A wild thought came to me. I ran back in, keeping my senses alert for company. I grabbed another empty bag, a duffel this time that one of them had brought clothes in. I stuffed as many boxes of ammo as I could find, throwing in the guns as well.


    I know I didn''t get all of them, but I figured it was that much less they''d have to use against us. I traveled back along through the gate, half shifted, and threw the bag as far as I could in the second fissure along the corridor. It was one a person wouldn''t fit through but a wolf could. The bag barely fit.


    Going back to the entrance, I spotted the lookout. I shifted as fast as I could, grabbing a wrench that was laying nearby. Coming up behind him I whammed him a good one, catching him as he fell unconscious. There were two jeeps outside. One had my bike strapped to it. I unstrapped my bike, holding it so it wouldn''t fall. I rolled it into some bushes hoping it wouldn''t be seen.


    I stood there for a moment, knowing I could escape. Glancing back at the cave entrance, I knew I couldn''t leave Derrick behind. It would take too long to get help and return. Odds are Derrick would be dead and these men gone. I would never be able to prove that John was involved.


    I wasn''t sure I could get Derrick out before the lookout woke up, or the other men came back. I had nothing to tie the lookout up with, having already grabbed the zip ties they''d used on us to splint up Derrick''s arm. Going back in for Derrick and bring him out past the three others with guns equaled a good chance of getting shot. If I went back for the zip ties though, and snuck up on these guys one at a time... my mind weighed the risks. I had to come up with another plan.


    Going back in to the cave, I rifled through the small pile of tools they had until I found another screwdriver. I hurried back out, stabbing every tire on both jeeps, including the spares. I made a point to mark the cave entrance with my stream. If Dad came, he would smell it.


    With any luck, John and his goonies would figure they had missed us, that Derrick and I snuck out, that we clobbered the lookout, trashed their stuff and left. It would keep them from hunting us in the caves and we could possibly make our way out the other end, or this end if they totally cleared out.


    Our captors had a mini fridge next to their generator. I raided what there was of their food. I sacked up what would keep, along with some more water. Changing back to wolf, I ate the rest of the food on the spot. I left them nothing, wolf swallowing things down whole. I was looking for anything else useful when I heard my victim stir. I saw one other thing I wanted to grab. I shifted enough to twist my arm above the table and grab the walkie-talkie.


    I was at risk right now of being seen. I shrunk into the shadows under the table. I heard static from the walkie-talkie and quickly turned it off for now.


    The guy I hit took one look at the open fridge and missing ammo and ran toward the back yelling his fool head off. I followed him back, stuffing the bag of food and water into a smaller niche higher up. I slid myself into an obvious small dead-end they wouldn''t bother with, one too small for a human body to fit through. My black fur was serving me well. I made sure my back was to them when I heard them approach. I didn''t want light reflecting from my eyes.


    "You said they were in the back! How could they have gone out the front? Imbeciles! This was supposed to be a clean operation, make it look like an accident I said! Whatever possessed you idiots not to take care of it right then I don''t know!"


    "You said there would be one guy. We didn''t know which one you wanted dead."


    "The one that could literally smell us out! Incompetent fools!"


    My heart was pounding as they got further away. My mother had taught me all me life, telling me how we were watched over by our Creator, how everything was connected. My bike, Derrick admiring it, us being roommates, all led to now. I would be dead if Derrick hadn''t had car trouble and I hadn''t stopped to help my friend.


    I moved fast once they were past me. I growled a little coming in so Derrick would know it was me. I scrambled back up into our cubbyhole, then shifted again, hunting for my clothes.


    "So you want to explain why you would go out there without any pants on?" whispered Derrick as he slid them over.


    "Not really," I whispered back. I didn''t bother putting them on. "How you doing?"


    "I risked dipping the tip of my pinkie into the bag of drugs you nabbed. It''s down to a painful aching throb, so I think it''s helping a little. I don''t want to take to much. I don''t want to trip out on you. What''s happening out there?"


    I filled him in, whispering my strategy. We had a decent hiding place this high up. The problem now was actually getting out of here.


    "I think they''ll still post someone up by the entrance. I don''t think we could have gotten you out in time. I didn''t have much time, and I had to hide when the guy woke up. He just didn''t look under the table before he went running back. Then I had to hide when the one guy came back with him. The space I hid in wouldn''t have fit both of us. I don''t know, maybe I screwed up and we both should have headed back."


    "Never second guess yourself," he whispered back. "My arm would have slowed us up. We didn''t know how many or who was where. So now we know there are four of them, two on each side of us."


    "It''s worse than that. They got guns, real guns. They might have other ammo than what I hid. John''s involved. He..."


    "John? Our boss John?" Derrick exclaimed in something a bit louder than a whisper.


    "Shhh! He probably found this cave system while working here and set it up to hide drugs. I don''t know what all they do here. He planned on having me killed because I could literally sniff them out. They tranked us instead because there were two of us. They probably figured one of us was his man and just didn''t want to kill the wrong one. So your car breaking down saved my ass. Now I just have to get you out of here."


    "Wow," was all Derrick said. I could smell his increase in fear over his pain.


    We were both silent for awhile. Derrick laid back, trying to adjust his arm to make it more comfortable.


    "So how long before anyone misses us and comes looking? Will they come looking? Can we hold out that long?" Derrick asked. I could hear the trepidation in his whisper.


    "We have food and water," I started to say.


    "Yeah, but how long will that last?"


    "Couple of days, easy," I said, not going into detail about the food in my stomach.


    I had already mostly shifted back to wolf. As a wolf I was able to swallow down their food without chewing, consuming everything they had within mere seconds. As a human, it sat very heavy on my stomach. I wanted to nap now as it was. If I did, all it would take was Derrick brushing his hand against me and freaking out for us to be found.


    "Sister will miss me first, and I was going to see Mahina tonight since I was supposed to head out tomorrow. I usually call Dad late Friday nights too. Mac will miss you when you don''t show up. He knows I suspected drugs out here. That''s assuming they make that connection. Only problem is Yellowstone is a big area, even eliminating the obvious places."


    I sighed. I wasn''t sure it would do any good if Mac turned to John. John would mislead Mac. Odds are Mac wouldn''t suspect his old buddy of anything.


    "Maybe I should head back out. I''ll go see if I can..."


    "Why don''t you give them time? You were worried about me making noise if I slept, and I think I''m going to. Hope I don''t have a damn concussion."


    "Sleep then. Maybe you should take a bit more for the pain? I might nap myself, put myself in that half-way stage, you know?"


    "Not really. And I still want to know why no pants."


    I didn''t answer him. His breath took no time to steady out, sounding better than it had when we first woke. I allowed myself to doze lightly. I stirred when I heard someone go by.


    Later someone actually came in our little alcove. I placed my hand over Derrick''s mouth before they actually stepped in and rolled him on his side, squeezing in tight against him. I could see the light play above us on the edge of our cubby hole, but the guy didn''t investigate further. It was, after all, up high. He was thorough in the rest of the area, going down until he couldn''t fit anymore, verifying it was a dead end.


    I heard him use a spray can at the entrance. I moved back toward the edge of our ledge, allowing Derrick to lay on his back again. I put my hand over his mouth again before rolling off the ledge.


    I was almost full wolf. I had a den and a hurt pack member. I let out a quiet growl as I headed out to stalk my prey.


    "Rick?"


    I looked back up out of habit even though it was dark as could be. Derrick had pulled out his phone for a moment''s light. I slipped out the entrance, hopefully before he saw me. The light went out. I stepped back in briefly. I knew my voice was gravely when I spoke, trying to whisper.


    "Light reflects. Don''t!"


    "Sorry," he whispered back.


    I only growled.


    Light in this pitch black was both a pro and a con, you could see it far off. I could see my prey''s progress as he shone his light along the wall. There was another guy on the other side, marking the openings on that side. I followed behind, watching as they made the same mark every time they came out of a crack in the walls. A slight sound behind me had me holding still.


    I moved slowly until I was facing the direction of the sound. Then I looked up. I opened my mouth, tasting the air. I could smell about where the man was, higher up, further back. Had he seen Derrick''s light? If so, he hadn''t let out a warning and he didn''t move.


    There! A slight glint off a gun! Perhaps he did see that moment of light and was waiting for us. If he was using infrared, did he see my wolf form?


    I moved, slinking close to the ground until I was beneath him. I ruled out the idea he had noticed me. The man was completely focused on where Derrick''s light had shone for a moment. Part of me tried to think, to figure a way to disarm him and keep him from being able to reveal us or hurt us. The rest of me already knew what I needed to do.


    I let out a steady growl, low enough not to carry. Sure enough the man with the sniper rifle leaned over to look down. That''s all it took for me to pounce. I growled, biting down on an arm. Like I had told my wolves in the field, don''t go to bite if you don''t plan on breaking bones.


    The man let out a satisfying scream. I didn''t hesitate, grabbing the hand he swung at my head, sinking my teeth in and ripping. I leapt away. He wouldn''t be using a gun against me! The small growl that sounded then might have been mistaken for a chuckle. I knew I couldn''t let him live, especially having bit him. I circled around. He moved in a way that exposed his throat. I thought about the cougar that had killed Mom. This man was just as deadly and dangerous. I leapt in, putting my weight on his shoulders and went in for the kill.


    I slunk back to the shadows, licking the blood off my snout, hoping Derrick was smart enough to keep the lights out.


    The men with the flashlights came running at the screams, pistols drawn. I waited until one was level with me and rushed him, knocking him down. The flashlight he had fell and rolled, the light throwing odd moving shadows along the cave walls.


    I bit down on the pistol and pulled it from the man''s grasp. I moved through the flashlight''s beam, making a point of making noise, running down past where Derrick was. A shot rang out, and I felt slivers of rock hit me. I jumped sideways, staying low to the ground. I couldn''t kill both of them without risk to myself. They would be on alert now.


    I ducked into one of the marked areas, looking for somewhere higher than a wolf could reach to stash the gun. I found a little hollow that would shield the gun from glinting in any light. I heard it when it landed a few feet down. It would be tricky to retrieve it, but not impossible, and they wouldn''t find it.


    I went further away, and let loose a howl, keeping it short. This was, after all, Yellowstone, home to wild animals. They would have to believe a wolf had found his way in before the tremors and couldn''t find his way out.


    Knowing there was a wolf here would interfere with their plans, especially after breaking the man''s arm like I did before ripping out his throat.  I wasn''t sure what they had seen in the dark and dancing shadows, but the howl would leave no doubt. Plus, I figured Derrick would know I was ok. He would have to be worried when he heard the scream and the shot being fired.


    I released a stream, marking as far as I had gone. Odds are they wouldn''t notice it, but if they did, its low height would only confirm the presence of a wolf.


    I moved silently then, heading back to Derrick. I could hear them, the man who had lost his gun and John. I heard the words teeth and wolf. The smell of blood filled the area.


    I felt satisfied knowing Derrick''s broken arm was avenged, especially in a way that increased our safety. I snuck into our alcove and leapt up.


    "Rick?"


    At least it was only the barest whisper. I shifted, curling along Derrick''s back once more, keeping the fur on my back.


    "Shhh. Sleep if you can. I''m fine. I''m going to wait for things to settle down before I go back out. Go as far in as you can go. No lights. Sleep."


    He stayed silent, moving things around and scooting over a few more inches. I knew it wasn''t the most comfortable for him, but it was the safest thing to do right now. I felt one of my paws push against his calf muscle as I settled in to wait.


    I sighed. He was going to figure it out at some point, especially in such close quarters, even if we were in complete darkness. I shifted a bit so I could speak clearer.


    "By the way," I whispered in his ear, "I don''t need the pants because I''m wearing fur. I wasn''t joking when I told Mac my secret was out. Now go to sleep."

 45 Ch 45 Trapped

    I woke with a stretch and a yawn. I could tell Derrick was awake. I made a shh and dropped back down. It was quiet outside our alcove. I stuck my nose out, then slid out. The men were gone. I kept my nose to the ground. All of them had gone back up to their area, taking the dead body with them.


    I followed them, wolf on a blood trail that was easy to follow. I jumped up when I reached the small opening, staying still for a while, listening. I went further in, making it all the way to the fence. The gate was locked again. Most of the supplies had been moved out of this area. There was nothing here that would help us now except for any information I might pick up.


    The men were sleeping. I sniffed carefully, my eyes finally taking in a bundled form along the far wall. I had a feeling it would be a while before they woke if they had been up half the night moving stuff around.


    I headed back in, slipping into the alcove I had thrown the ammo in. It was a tight fit even for me as a wolf. I had to shift my arms to get the bag through then shift back to a wolf to slide through myself. I shifted back to man, running my hands along the edges to make sure I didn''t leave any tufts of fur behind.


    Retrieving the second bag of supplies, I headed back to Derrick. The only thing keeping me on two feet was the fact I had bags to carry. I growled a little as I slipped into our den.


    "Derrick?" I kept my voice low, but more than a whisper. "They''re gone from this area. You can use a light for a bit. I brought breakfast. Go ahead and eat something."


    The light from his phone came on, bathing the area in light. He looked down at me. I stared back up at him thoughtfully before grinning.


    "Like what you see? Hope not, man, because it''s already claimed!"


    "There are times you''re an ass, you know that? Help me down, I gotta pee."


    I shook my head. "No way. You''re safer up there." I handed him up the bag of food. "We would make too much noise and it would take to long to get you back up there if they come back."


    "Man, I gotta pee!"


    "Put it back in one of the bottles. And use one of the bags if you need to dump. We can''t afford for them to smell anything."


    Derrick grumbled but did as I said.


    A little while later Derrick asked, "So what happened?"


    I sat in the crevasse of our doorway. My den! I tried to stay focused. This set of circumstances was bringing out the wolf in me.


    "Tell me my secret."


    "Just tell me what happened."


    "One word. Say it."


    There was silence for a bit. Our alcove was lit from the soft glow of his phone. He sighed.


    "Werewolf." It came out softly.


    I shifted right there. We had to get this settled while we had the time to do so. I looked up at him. He just took it in. His breathing increased a bit. His eyes dilated slightly. I grinned up at him, lifting up to shift back to a man.


    "I don''t have three bottles of vodka for you."


    He chuckled. "I''m not Mac. Besides, I took another dip of the drugs. I''ll probably convince myself I imagined it later."


    "I hope not, don''t want to go through this twice. Grab some food and move over."


    He did, and I shifted to jump up. His nervousness increased as I pulled myself up next to him. I came close, resting my wolf head protectively over his shoulder. Pulling back, I met his eyes. I scrunched my snout up, ears up, grinning at him, before shifting back. I wasn''t sure he could handle me at half-shift yet.


    I refused the food he held out for me, but took one of the water bottles. I was comfortably stuffed now as a human.


    I filled him in on why I wasn''t hungry before I went on to how I broke the one guy''s arm and killed him.


    "Still no signal?" I asked, cutting him off from talking about the man whose throat I ripped out as a wolf.


    "No, nothing getting through this rock."


    "Wish I would have taken my phone with me when I went out the first time, but a wolf doesn''t have pockets."


    "Wouldn''t have done much good, hard to get a signal out here anyway."


    "Is it? I never noticed. I seldom use my phone at work. Explains why John uses the walkie-talkies though. I nabbed one, should be in one of the bags. I don''t know if it will help. Keep it off for now. I don''t want any sound from it. They might yet come back after they wake up."


    "So what now?" Derrick asked.


    "Now?" I sighed. "Now I go further down to find the way out. If we both go and they come, odds are you''re dead. You can''t move or hide like I can. There is an old scent trail from John. If they stay away after they wake up, we''ll both go. If I were them, I''d post someone by the exit and just wait for us to come out. I guess we''ll cross that bridge when we get to it. I nabbed one of their pistols and we have the ammo and other guns. I''ll get the pistol for you; I don''t want to leave it behind. Hand me the flashlight then keep the lights out."


    I put the flashlight in my mouth, taking in Derrick''s confused, scrunched up brow in the dim light from his phone. I almost laughed at him. He understood when I rolled off the ledge, landing on four paws, no hands to hold it.


    "Shit!"


    I snorted at the increase in his heartbeat.


    "Yeah, laugh away smartass, you didn''t just see your roommate land on four feet!"


    I set the flashlight down for a second. "Light out," I growled.


    "Damn!" he exclaimed, not expecting words from a wolf. But the light went out.


    I chuckled as I picked up the flashlight.


    "Smartass!" was whispered after me.


    I was still quietly laughing when I brought the pistol back to Derrick. I left him the flashlight too.


    I moved rather quickly through the dark cavern, my nose close to the ground. I knew I was full wolf, in both body and mind.


    The scent trail, old as it was, helped me picture the ground before me. I went over small rises and through shallow dips. There were areas where the ceiling got very low. It would take Derrick time with his broken arm to crawl through this area. Maybe it would be faster if he lay on his back and I pulled him through. It was a good fifty feet.


    The way got narrow, then split. The trail was harder to follow. John must have explored the whole cave system. I was wondering if I would find the way out when I saw a tiny gleam of light. I marked the branch I was taking before going on.


    The light was coming through a small crack between large rocks. Fresh air was seeping in but not even I could squeeze through that tiny opening. If I stood on Derrick''s sore shoulders I might be able to slip my fingertips through.


    The small amount of light from the rising sun allowed me to see better. I did my own exploring. There were a few tiny openings scattered throughout this area, but none big enough to get out.


    As the sun climbed higher in the morning sky, I knew I would have to go back. The good thing about this area is it would be hard to find someone in it. There were areas that circled around, connecting with other openings. John hadn''t explored them all.


    I figured some of the openings might have formed from the recent round of tremors. I had never realized how much seismic activity Yellowstone had until after I started working here.


    I went past Derrick a short way to make sure we were still safe before sticking my nose back in to update Derrick on what I''d found.


    "I''m going back to see what John and his crew are doing. Pack up. Keep my clothes on top. Try and keep the light to a minimum. If they come, they might see it before I can get back to warn you."


    Derrick promised to be careful as I took off again. The way was becoming familiar. The area Derrick and I had been held in was still dark. I went up and made my way once again to the fence, being more careful than before. If they were still sleeping on the ground, they had a better chance of seeing me.


    They weren''t sleeping. John was having a fit. I chuckled to myself as I heard him rant. Apparently, it had been dark when they loaded up the jeeps and they hadn''t noticed the tires. The lights, generator, and body were gone, as were the fridge and the drugs. The only light was the daylight streaming in from the cave entrance.


    Finally, I heard John ask if they had it set. I strained to hear better and it was almost my undoing. I scrambled back to the dropoff as an explosion rocked the small area. I cowered down, waiting for the dust to settle.


    They blew the cave entrance! Had they just left we might have been able to work the fence loose to get to my bike. I don''t know what I was thinking when I ruined all of their tires, other than they would think we had left. Now it would be impossible to go out that way. I hurried back to Derrick.


    He was down off the ledge, sticking his head out the entrance, the light he was holding giving him away. I growled, no longer needing to keep silent.


    "If I was a bad guy, you''d be dead!"


    He brought the pistol around which had me growling louder and jumping to the side behind an outcropping.


    "Sorry, Rick. I heard something. What happened?"


    "They blew the main entrance. We aren''t getting out that way. I doubt we''ll find the other exit before they blow it up too. This area wasn''t affected?"


    "I felt the shockwave but no rocks fell."


    "We can try for the other exit, and hope we get out before they come and blow it, or that we don''t get buried under rock if we make it close and they blow it. Or, we can stay here, wait for the explosion, take our time in relative safety looking for a way out. There were a few small cracks to the surface. If they blow up the other entrance, it might open up another somewhere else, maybe. What do you think?"


    Derrick was in the middle of answering when we heard the rumble coming from the other direction.


    "Well," he said grimly, "looks like our choice was made for us."


    "Let me go the other way, see what''s there. I''ll probably be gone for an hour or so. The good thing is you can try the walkie-talkie. Don''t say anything, just listen to see if you can hear anything. Then we can go toward the openings I found, see if we can get a signal for our phones, maybe send out a text."


    "Sounds like a plan," he said. "I''ll start walking the other way, save us some time."


    "Ok. Stop when you get to a low area. We''ll have to crawl through. It will probably be less painful for you if I pull you through on your back."


    "Pull me how?"


    "With my teeth," I grinned back at him.


    He shook his head as I grabbed the flashlight and shifted again. I went the one way I hadn''t been yet, past our previous prison. I was disappointed to come to a dead-end after about ten minutes. I shone the light around just to make sure.


    "No good that way," I said to Derrick as I came up beside him and shifted, dropping the flashlight from my mouth to my hand.


    "Damn, I''m just never going to get used to that."


    "Well, I don''t usually go around with a flashlight in my mouth!"


    "Smartass!"


    I laughed before getting serious. "How''s your arm? Let me take a look."


    "Hurts. Wouldn''t be so bad if the other shoulder didn''t hurt so much."


    "Let me see." I felt around, pushing gently, watching when he grimaced.


    "I think it''s dislocated. Here." I gave a shove and a pull, hearing it snap back into place as Derrick yelled out at the sudden pain.


    "Feel better?"


    "No! Or maybe," he added as he moved it around.


    "Ok, give me the bags. I''ll carry them. You focus on not tripping. The last thing we need is you breaking a leg."


    "Keep it up and when I feel better I''ll meet you in the sand and kick your butt."


    I laughed as I shouldered the bags.


    "Hear anything on the walkie-talkie?"


    "Yeah, they talked about meeting up at the ranger station. They''re going to say they had car trouble and John''s going to use a park jeep to help them. I bet all our spare tires will be gone. You, uh, want to get dressed?"


    "Hmmm? Oh. Ok. Better?" I asked as I went to half-shift.


    "What the shit!"


    "Told you I don''t need the pants, I have fur. Seriously though, you should wear them with yours if we are still stuck down here tonight. The temperature drops at night and I''ll be fine."


    We walked on in silence with Derrick throwing the occasional glance at me in my fur.


    "So how many people know about you?" he finally asked.


    "Dad, Running Elk, Anna, a few elders of my tribe, Mahina, Mac... not Chani so don''t say anything to her. And Sister of course."


    "Who''s Sister?"


    "The girl with the wolf."


    "The make-a-wish kid? You told her? Are you nuts?"


    We made it to the low area. I carried the bags through first, then had Derrick lay on his back. We went slow, him scooting with his feet. I had to remind him that we were in no hurry, to take his time so he didn''t hurt himself more.


    We rested for a while and I told him the real story of what happened between Sister and me to pass the time.


    I nudged his leg finally to get him up. "Come on, let''s see what it looks like up ahead."


    He grabbed my hand with his relatively good one to pull himself up.


    "A real frigging werewolf!" Derrick said as we moved out. I think he might finally be getting used to me.

 46 Ch 46 Hunting the Sky

    The sun was high according to the time on our phones by the time we made it to the split.


    "This is where we set up camp," I told Derrick.


    "Camp?"


    "Ever read Tom Sawyer? The part where he uses string in the caves? The way out was somewhere ahead. I don''t know where. John''s old trail goes everywhere. Hopefully there''s another way out. We can explore. We can mark the areas that don''t work out. No sense in carrying everything with us until we find a way out. We know there isn''t any exit behind us."


    "Mark how? We don''t have the guy''s spray can."


    I picked up the bottle containing the pee. "I''ll smell it. We just have to work together. Keep in mind my other dimensions. Wolf can squeeze through areas a man can''t. Ready?"


    It took some work, figuring out a good method to explore. We verified area after area. We both sent text messages out from the area with small openings, telling of our situation and the danger from John, hoping one made it. Even if help came, I couldn''t tell them exactly where we were.


    There was one area we found that had a drop that I wasn''t sure I could make back up on my own. I would need Derrick''s help getting out of there. He wouldn''t be able to pull me up and I wouldn''t be able to pull him back up with his broken arm if he went down to boost me up. There hadn''t been any rope, just the zip ties-and they wouldn''t be enough.


    I marked the area well, making a line out from it so I could find it easy later. It was a last alternative.


    By the time the sun was going down, I was regretting giving Derrick my little bit of tea, feeling the need for it. The mix of herbs helped relax my muscles mildly, just enough to take the edge off. I had done a lot of shifting to squeeze into areas to check them out. Changing between my wolf form and my man form didn''t come without a cost, and I had tapped into my reserves.


    Derrick took my advice and wore both pair of pants. They were a tight fit for him, but would help keep him warm. He was exhausted and his arm was throbbing with pain. I had tried to convince him to take breaks when his smell had changed, but he kept pushing himself. He did take another small dip into the drugs.


    Neither of us said much. It had been a long, stressful, fruitless day. Without thought, I got up and moved back toward where we had explored.


    "Where you going?"


    I just blinked at him as a wolf, already missing our secure den. I headed toward one of the higher tiny openings. Standing beneath it, I threw back my head and howled. I stood there, ears cocked, while the echoes died down. I waited.


    After awhile I howled again. I waited. I listened. Howled. Waited. Listened.


    "Rick?"


    I growled, a low quiet growl, half-shifting back to human in order to speak. "Go to sleep, Derrick."


    "You need some sleep too," he said, holding his phone so the light shone up and not directly on me.


    I dropped back to four legs, pacing toward him, my head low, the growl increasing as I got closer. I had to give it to him, he didn''t back up. I applied steady pressure against his leg, pushing with my forehead until he had gone back about ten paces. I left him and returned to where I was.


    I howled, long and clear. I listened. I howled. I listened. Derrick finally left. I hoped he got some rest. I howled.


    I woke when Derrick stirred. I was curled along his back again. I don''t know how long I had howled into the night. I didn''t remember coming back to Derrick.


    Lost in the wolf was beginning to take on a new meaning for me. I remembered when I had gone after Dad and he had thought the month was only a few weeks. Even as a wolf there are memories! I didn''t understand the time loss.


    I took a deep breath and shifted back to man, even if it was cold without fur. I counted, did random math; I even did my abc''s. I went through family connections. I stopped at Grandfather, backtracked to Running Elk and Mahina. I focused on my breathing, deep steady breaths.


    "You ok?" asked Derrick as he stretched. He winced when his stretch pulled against his arm.


    "Yeah, just focusing. I went pretty deep into the wolf last night."


    "Gee, you think? You howled half the night!"


    "How you handling things?"


    "You mean you being a werewolf or my broken arm? You''re a stubborn wolf and my arm is throbbing. Other shoulder feels a bit better. You ready for breakfast? We got some granola bars, a few energy bars, jerky and chips."


    "Give me an energy bar and some water. I''m thinking of going back toward the other entrance to see how well the explosion sealed it."


    We discussed our options as I opened the energy bar.


    "Eww," I complained, trying not to spit the bite out. We had too little food to waste any of it. "People eat this on purpose? You can have all the energy bars! You can have the rest of this one," I said, breaking off where I had bitten. "This is not real food!"


    Derrick laughed at me. It felt good to talk out loud and not have to whisper. I had to grin at him. I was glad he could find some humor in our situation; it was a good sign.


    I stayed human as much as I could, getting my pants back from Derrick and slipping on my shoes. We found a few lines that went pretty far. We found an underground creek, if you could call it that, with water just seeping through. It took some trial and error to carefully refilled the water bottles that were empty. It took the two of us working together to strain the water through a strip of my shirt from one bottle to another.


    I had a granola bar and some of the jerky for lunch. Derrick was content with the energy bars. It felt good to tease each other over our meal choices.


    When I was pretty sure we covered everything behind us except for the low spot and the few long areas, I mentioned moving our camp up.


    "I think we should keep camp where it is. I could feel the difference in temperature this morning. It was actually warmer further back."


    "It will just take us longer to move up again," I countered. I feared he was coming down with a fever if he was feeling chilled. I took in his exhaustion. "Yeah, we can stay put," I conceded . "I''m debating whether we should split up.


    "Go on, check out some of those long areas. I''ll eliminate the simple areas. I promise I won''t go down anywhere too far."


    "Good," I told him, " because I don''t know what I''d use to rescue you. If I find a way out, do you want me to keep going or come back for you?"


    "If it''s an easy way out, come back. But you''ve had to crawl through just about everywhere. My arm won''t get me out that way, so go on and bring back help if you can."


    I took off my shoes and pants, shifting enough to have fur.


    "Seriously, never going to get used to that. Seeing you as all wolf isn''t bad, but the half-way thing is weird."


    "This isn''t anything," I laughed, "you should see when I''m practicing. Besides, you need my pants for the warmth. What food do we have left?"


    We looked through it. I ate a granola bar and a bit of jerky, leaving him the rest.


    "You sure? What about some water?"


    "I''m a wolf without pockets, remember? I''ll fill up my belly at that poor excuse for a creek before I head out. As for food, well, dealing with hunger is something my dad taught me."


    "Damn, I didn''t even think of it! He''s a werewolf too, isn''t he?"


    "Yes, he is. You really have been distracted by pain," I chuckled. "Try not to overdue it, and don''t get yourself lost."


    He reassured me, lying through his teeth. I knew he was still tired and dealing with the pain in his arm. I grabbed the flashlight, leaving my phone with him.


    "Keep trying to call or text. Keep an eye on the battery levels. My phone is already down to half power."


    "I will. Good luck, Rick."


    The line I finally chose ended up going downhill on occasion, and had long stretches I crawled through as a wolf. I went through, holding the flashlight in my mouth. There were areas I needed to crawl, jump, or climb. I knew I had gone at least a few miles with no end in sight.


    I finally stopped at another junction. I had no logical path down here. What I did have was instinct- instinct to hunt, run and howl with the sun and moon above me. My mom had often spoken of how instincts allowed animals to do amazing things.


    ''Spirit Wolf,'' I prayed, ''guide my steps, lead me to the grasses that hide my prey, the wind that speaks to me. Help me to find the sky that I might paint my song across it!''


    I shifted, both physically and mentally, becoming all wolf. I did my best to plant a mnemonic to keep marking my path. There were cut offs leading in all directions. When I moved, I was a wolf on the hunt and my prey was the sky above me. I didn''t think, I just moved, the flashlight forgotten.


    When the faint light from the flashlight was only a dim memory, I took a moment to rest. I listened, straining both ears and nose for anything other than rock in the inky darkness. I missed Derrick. Part of me wanted to go back to him; the rest of me knew, without fail, that the best way to get to him was before me.


    Forcing myself to get up, I continued my hunt.

 47 Ch 47 Contac

    There were areas where the going was slow, as well as a few spots that were downright treacherous. It was slow going. My paws brushed across the rock floor, testing my footing. My side continuously bumped the wall. There were dead ends that had me retracing my steps.


    At one point, I heard a skitter. I prowled toward it, hunting for dinner. The faint rasping of something sliding across the rocky floor let me know it was a snake.


    I considered the emptiness in my belly as I padded slowly toward where the sound had ended. My nose narrowed down the area my prey was resting. Closer, quiet, using everything at my disposal to pinpoint where to strike. I pounced, paws landing on rubbery flesh. I felt the muscles below me twist. My head swung out of the way by pure instinct, darting back in with jaws open wide. Fang connected with flesh, and I bit hard, shaking my head violently to keep it from biting me. I threw it to the side, even as I jumped the other way. I heard it flailing back and forth, and knew my bite struck true.


    The smell of blood had my mouth salivating, but I knew how to be patient. The sounds of movement became shorter, until they finally ceased. I moved in carefully, knowing snakes could bite even after death. I ran a paw along its length until I found its head. A few quick chews and I pushed the head away from me.


    My dinner had recently had its own dinner. I ate snake and mouse. That gave me hope. Mice meant I was closer to the surface.


    I rested for a bit, my belly full. I was tired. There was something I should do, but I couldn''t remember what. I dozed.


    I woke up all at once. Human! I needed to be human! I couldn''t afford to get lost in the wolf. Derrick needed me. I shifted, my body stretching. I ached. I was filthy. I could smell what little was left of my dinner. I did a few timetables out of habit. It occurred to me having a habit wasn''t a good thing in this case. I needed originality.


    There was the barest hint of light, possible from whatever crack the snake had used. I blinked, pretty sure my eyes were still wolf. There was something. Something woke me. I strained to hear a distant sound...


    I shifted back to wolf, unsure of what I heard. I angled my ears, hoping it wasn''t my imagination. I heard it again and my tail moved on it''s own.


    It was very, very faint, but sure.


    I howled. I didn''t bother listening, I just howled and howled, from deep in my gut, projecting the sound as far up as I could. My song was filled with my love for the wolves I could barely hear in the distance.


    I moved toward the sound. My gait increased carelessly as I pushed forward. It was only when I slipped  on a muddy area, where water seeped through the ground, that I paused for a moment. The area I was in was less rocky.


    Wolf with man-brain, I told myself. I had to remain focused. I would blow our chance at a rescue if I injured myself or knocked myself out. I took a deep breath, pretty sure I had partially shifted back to man for a second as I took stock of myself.


    I took this opportunity to listen once more, hoping I hadn''t lost my tenuous contact with our rescuers. A slight smile graced my lips as the sound of howls reverberated in my being. They were echoing my song. I hadn''t imagined it; help had come. I didn''t know how, but help had come.


    I finally stopped below a glimmer of light which came from a small crack at the top of a very high ceiling. I stayed beneath it so my song would reach the sky. I wished the opening was bigger. I wouldn''t fit my fingers through, even if I could reach it.


    It took awhile before there was a small crowd above the narrow opening, blocking what little light there was. My wolves had come. Lobo, Lone Wolf, even Sheep! I took in the faint scents of unknown wolves, barely registering from the high opening. My vision shifted as Spirit Wolf showed me the wolves above me for a moment. Arctic had a few wolves around him. I moved around, catching Cherokee''s scent along with his son''s. There were others I didn''t know.


    I blinked, my vision blurring.


    A snout tried to push its way in the crevasse. The young she-wolf gave a yap that echoed around me. I gave a fierce growling bark in return, the sound of it echoing around me, before I chuckled. I was filled with wolffish laughter. The snout jerked away before coming back. I know she heard my hissing laugh. The snout left again.


    "Little Wolf?"


    I shifted, keeping fur, hoping someone kept the she-wolf from putting an eye to the hole.


    "Mac?"


    "Yeah kid. Hang on, we''ll get you out of there."


    "Watch out for John, he''s in with some drug dealers."


    "Don''t worry about John. We nabbed his ass, along with his friends," Mac growled down.


    "How many friends?" I asked.


    "Two others. Don''t worry, one''s not going anywhere ever again, the other is tied up with John. They''ll pay for what they did. Now, how do we get you guys up here? We got a few charges so we can blow you out if we need to."


    "Not here," I called up. "Where''s my dad?"


    "He growled something about finding a way in to you. ''In'' was what he managed to get out. I''m sure we''ll hear if he finds something."


    Shit, Dad had gone wolf. Well, I thought, so had I. It''ll work out. I set the thought of my dad aside for the moment. I tried to figure the distance to Derrick.


    "Derrick is in another area. It''s a few miles, at least. Mac, move a little to your left. Put someone across from you. Whose there?"


    Lobo whined and I smiled.


    "I''m ok. Move, no, the other way Lobo. There, stop! Ok. Make a line from Mac to Lobo and keep going about fourteen to fifteen miles, I think. I wasn''t exactly measuring the distance I traveled. I''ll keep howling out down here as I work my way back to Derrick. He has a broken arm, but otherwise he''s ok. I think I know just the place to set off a small charge."


    "Got it. You need food or water?"


    "No, I can wait. I just ate not too long ago."


    I heard Mac mutter something but couldn''t make out what.


    "Ok, we''re moving out," Mac finally hollered down. "Give us a sec for the vehicles to clear out so the wolves can hear."


    I couldn''t help laughing at my wolves, unable to contain my joy. My pack. Mine. I felt giddy with relief. I knew at some point while contemplating them my brain had shifted. I was wolf. More, I was the Alpha of this pack. I was on four legs before I knew it, letting out something that was almost a roar. My wolves howled back. I had a new hunt now, for my wounded pack member.


    I moved, quickly at first, then slower as the wolves above me put ear to the ground to hear me. I led them as I traversed my previous route. There were times when I could almost feel them above me. I continued to howl as I scrabbled over an easier part of the path.


    My howl sent them ahead as I crawled through some low areas. I came out, muddy from the water that seeped through that area. I growled, on alert, when I heard pebbles skittering across the ground.


    I stopped, preparing myself for an attack. I crouched down, muscles bunched, prepared to move in any direction. There was a slight growl in front of me. I huffed and heard a whine in reply. I approached carefully.


    The wolf before me struggled to his feet. I could hear his ragged breathing. He stunk of fresh dirt and mud. I lifted my head, scenting where he had come from- the small creek, flowing through the ground. He had dug, making a tunnel that collapsed behind him as he came, following the water.


    "Stupid wolf," I growled, I couldn''t help myself. I stood stiff-legged. I could imagine how he would round on me if I''d tried a stunt like that! And yet... "I''m glad you''re here," I whispered.


    It was arms that went around his neck, a human face that buried itself in his ruff before pulling back.


    "Come on, Dad," I said as I shifted back to wolf, "let''s go join up with the rest of my pack."

 48 Ch 48 Rescue

    Dad followed behind me, limping slightly. I don''t know what he was thinking, digging through the ground like that; or if he had been thinking at all. He could have gotten himself stuck and died.


    I stopped  in an area that had a bit of space and a few cracks that let in slivers of sunlight. Dad stopped behind me, his head hanging low.


    "Unacceptable," rumbled out of me. The word was a combination of human and wolf, the man''s upset disapproval spoken  without volition, wolf thought expressed using a human word.


    He started to slink lower, stopping at my growl.


    I instinctually lifted my snout in a commanding gesture.


    "Maybe I should call you my beta," I teased. The sound of the words was coarse, rumbling from the back of my throat. The words themselves were spoken possessively, yet full of respect and love. I lowered my snout, motioning him to my side.


    He came closer, carefully. He was practically instinctual wolf, giving me a huffy little growl that was barely more than a deep breath. I was close to being completely wolf myself; my humanity hanging in there by a thread.


    My snout nodded into his ruff. I sniffed him, checking for permanent damage. I found only traces of blood by his feet. He''d have sore paws for awhile. I felt a grin work its way through me. He stood there, waiting.


    My tongue went in his ear. He pulled away, his growl sounding under his breath. I huffed, bumping his shoulder. What was it he had told me? It takes family to keep you human? He bumped me back. I bumped him, swinging down to snap at a front paw, not fiercely but playfully.


    He moved, but not much. I chuckled, reaching, shifting shoulder and paw, wriggling my fingers around his ears.


    "Stop it, Little Wolf!" Like me, his words were roughly growled out.


    It was hard finding the balance between being his alpha and being his son. Right now, I was opting for a little of both. I shifted to half.


    "Later, when my pack is safe, stay with me while I sleep. I need you, Dad."


    He shifted himself then, as if he needed me to show him the way. His brow scrunched, another slight growl coming out of him. I shifted to full human, letting him look at me in light enough for wolf eyes to see. My step forward was instinctual as I put my arms out and hugged him. I held him in the hug until I felt him completely shift back to human and hug me back.


    "Little Wolf." Human words, sobbed out and spoken with love. All of his fears and worries for me came out in the sound of my name.


    I let out a contented sigh, resting my head on his shoulder. "I''m fine Dad, just tired. We still have to get back to Derrick and get out of here. You good?" I asked, taking in the condition of his hands.


    "I''m good, better than you by the looks of it."


    I huffed in disagreement. "Let''s go on two feet for awhile while we can."


    Dad only grunted when I started walking again. I was much more at peace, having him at my side. We worked our way in silence until we came to a spot easier to get through as wolves.


    "Remind me never to go spelunking," Dad said with a touch of humor.


    "You just need to do it right," I replied. "Caves are fun when you go in prepared. We''ll have to come back some time so I can show you the den I found."


    "Den?"


    "Hang on, there''s another section good for two feet further up, I''ll tell you then."


    We shifted to four, making our way back toward Derrick, sometimes howling for the wolves above, sometimes talking. Both fed my soul.


    When we got closer, I stayed wolf, moving fast, my nose closer to the ground. I had not forgotten my hunt for my wounded pack-mate. I came upon Derrick sitting on the ground, his back leaning against a wall, one of our phones lighting up the area.


    I stuck my cold nose up against his neck. He woke with a start, his hands coming up defensively, blinking rapidly.


    "Rick?"


    A growl from behind me had Derrick reaching for the pistol.


    "Honestly Derrick," I said rising up and shifting, "how many wolves do you know?"


    "Well, why the shit is he growling?"


    Dad just huffed, raising his lips into a snarl even though no sound came out.


    "Oh stop Dad, it isn''t Derrick''s fault we almost got killed. John told his crew to kill me so I wouldn''t sniff out their drugs. Who knew a story to explain a sense of smell would turn deadly? How close are the wolves?"


    Dad made an annoyed huff and I pointed in the direction he should take. He moved off at a trot with his nose down low.


    I checked Derrick. He had a low-grade fever now, and looked like he was going to pass out again.


    "Help came," I told him. "Mac''s even here. They have what they need to get us out, we just have to figure the best way to do it. Hang in there a little longer."


    He nodded and I helped him to his feet.


    "You remember that spot you said would be easy to blow? We need to get there."


    "I also said it''s too high to climb out of. It was twenty feet up!"


    "I''m sure Mac brought rope. Come on, help me find it."


    Derrick was exhausted. He was having trouble keeping his balance, which had me worried he might have a concussion.


    "How much did you dip?" I asked.


    He shook his head. "None lately, am I that bad?"


    "I''m just wondering about that possible concussion you mentioned."


    "I hope not. Come on, let''s get this done! If I remember correctly, we had that cutoff we marked top and bottom. That long one, on the right? It was what, two or three openings past that one?"


    "Lets go see."


    It was slow going, supporting Derrick as he stumbled along. I could hear Dad ahead of us.


    It took more time for us to find the spot, longer for those above to decide exactly where and how much of whatever they brought to use.


    Anna dropped down a few bottles of tea and a small sack through one of the other small openings they had widened with a small test charge. "Need a first aid kit?" she asked as she kept dropping things through the borrow-sized opening. Trust Anna to come prepared by bringing everything!


    I looked through the sack and laughed. "No, you beautiful cousin of mine, I managed a rough splint on Derrick''s arm. We can check it once we''re up."


    "Here," I told Derrick, holding out a packet of pain killers. Anna had thrown down a small packet of travel wipes and a few bottles of plain water to freshen up with, as she put it. There were also two pair of shorts, a high-intensity flashlight so we could turn our phones off, drinks to replenish electrolytes, and...


    "Anna, I''m gonna kiss you when we get up there!"


    We moved back up the tunnel to be out of the way and sat and feasted while we waited. My wonderful cousin had sent half a dozen sandwiches down. Dad started to decline so I told him about the slithering meal I''d caught. I tried to hide my amusement at Derrick''s reaction.


    "You ate a snake? Raw? Man, you should have eaten a few more granola bars. Heck, even an energy bar would have been better!"


    "Derrick, you do realize that when I hunt as a wolf I don''t stop to cook my dinner? It actually wasn''t too bad, and held a bonus dessert in it."


    Derrick''s confused look had Dad chuckling.


    "What did it have in it?"


    "A mouse."


    "Shit Rick, you need a new definition of dessert. Tell me you didn''t eat the mouse from inside the snake!"


    "I learned to hunt on mice, and rabbits."


    "And what would you have done if the snake managed to bite you?" asked Dad.


    "Wasn''t thinking, just heard dinner. I wasn''t totally without caution," I assured him.


    Dad and I exchanged looks. We knew what we saw in each other- the wolf closer to the surface than usual.


    "Think its the drive to survive?" I asked Dad.


    "The wolf protects its own. When it comes to survival, and the logical man agrees, I''d say there is no inner conflict. The wolf dominates."


    I nodded with a sigh as I finished off my first sandwich. Dad was waiting to make sure I had enough, and I was waiting on Derrick. He was finishing off his third sandwich. I had eaten better than he had during our ordeal.


    The boom from the attempt at our rescue had us all holding still. Derrick started to get up. Dad put out a hand to stop him at the same time I did.


    "Wait for the dust to settle. Finish eating. How many granola bars are left?" I asked.


    "Two. I finished off the last of the energy bars when I stopped to rest. Still got one of those small bags of chips though. Now that would make something you could decently call a dessert!"


    Dad and I both laughed as I reached for what was left of our supplies.


    "Let''s celebrate our last meal down here in style then," I said grinning. I had a feeling Derrick had purposely saved what was left in case I came back in defeat, so we could share a last meal.


    By the time we were done with the chips, and Derrick and I had split the last sandwich, Dad came back to say they were ready for us. He was supporting Derrick and was surprised when I grabbed our bags.


    "Leave it, son."


    I shook my head no. "I nabbed some of their ammo and a brick of their drugs for evidence in case we needed it; plus the pistol that came off of one of their guys is in here. Not anything I want to leave behind."


    Dad nodded but looked at me like he was going to drag this story out of me as soon as he feasibly could. He was concerned, but it was done now. The wolf had survived.


    They hoisted Derrick up first. I helped him fasten the harness Mac had brought. I had anticipated having to tie a rope around Derrick. I wondered what all Mac had brought on this rescue operation.


    Dad insisted I go next. I could hear the vehicle that pulled us up. Mac''s steady hand easily pulled me up over the edge of the opening they had widened. They had used as little explosive as possible. If Mac had been down there I don''t know if he would have squeezed through.


    "Once more for Dad," I told him when he let me go. Looked like the big man was starting to get in the habit of giving out hugs.


    "Yer dad? How the hell did he end up down there?"


    I laughed a little as I leaned against Mac''s shoulder before I pushed off him. "Just send it down."


    I was surprised when Dad shifted to a wolf as soon as he worked his way out of the harness. He pushed against my leg. His focus was on the wolves around us. I could only smile at seeing so many good friends.


    The smile slid from my face as I registered the situation around me. Arctic and his clan, as well as Cherokee and his, were positioned around the four-wheelers and bikes, which were grouped together. They were all facing wolves I didn''t know.


    Mac had brought Eddie and Doc. Doc was focused on Derrick, which I was glad to see. Running Elk was there with Anna. Lone Wolf was on two legs with them, sitting on a four-wheeler with a rifle across his lap. It wasn''t sitting casually either, it was aimed in the general direction of those unknown wolves. There were two other people on four-wheelers I didn''t know, and two more I was very familiar with.


    I smiled and waved to old Michael, whose gun looked different than his hunting rifle. Sitting on an another old Indian bike next to him was Grandfather. I only nodded slightly to him, surprised to see him and unsure of why he''d come. I hadn''t forgiven either him or Auntie yet.


    Later, I told myself. This wasn''t the time or the place.


    I took in the gathering of wolves. I had to smile when I saw the she-wolf next to Businessman, giving her a respectful nod. The barely grown she-wolf nodded back. There were four wolves pacing around her.


    A yap sent my attention the other way to a small family over by Lobo. His friend, I figured. An alpha couple with one other big older wolf and a very young girl-pup. I immediately knew it was the family I had seen the night of my first vision.


    I chuckled and repeated my fierce growling bark I had before, laughing afterward. The pup sat back on her haunches in surprise. There were a few other wolves that moved uneasily, hearing the wolf sound from my human-looking throat.


    A few paced their way toward me, stiff-legged and obviously stalking. Dad took up a more aggressive stance. His growl didn''t stop them.


    I was tired and achy, but the food and tea had helped. I didn''t want to deal with what looked like an explosive situation, but I had a feeling it wasn''t going to wait.

 49 Ch 49 Wolves

    I stepped away from the four-wheeler I was leaning on, letting my fingers trail along Dad''s shoulder. I let out a big sigh, then smiled at the wolves that were almost circling.


    "Thank-you all for coming." I looked out further to include all of the gathered wolves. "I appreciate it more than words can say."


    One of the circling wolves, one I didn''t know, raised up and shifted to man.


    "Appreciate? This, rescue," he sneered at me, "meant letting humans know of our existence. Their deaths are on your head. Know this before you die for exposing us."


    I gave a breathy laugh. I couldn''t help it.


    "Really? You think anyone here is going to die?" I looked at him more seriously. He looked to be in his early thirties, with sandy brown hair, and a decent, if not defined, build. I looked past him, focusing on the wolves he led. "I pity you, and I grieve for those you have needlessly killed."


    One of the wolves with him gave me such a look, it broke my heart. I could tell someone he had loved had been killed by these wolves. I hoped they didn''t make him do the deed himself.


    I stood taller, got sterner, a touch of the wolf surfacing at the thought of who knew how many needless deaths. My hand twitched, as if reaching for the rock within my medicine bag. "Know that you will not kill innocents again."


    There was a stare down between us. Just when he moved as if in preparation to attack, someone else I didn''t know spoke up.


    "They don''t have to die. We can either hold them or change them," said an older wolf who had shifted to man. "We can split them between us." He paused. "I''ll take the female," he added possessively.


    I didn''t even have time to react to such nonsense. Anna, who was the only human female here, brought up a gun faster than any of the guys.


    "That won''t be happening," she said immediately, her sawed-off shotgun pointing without the slightest waver. I noticed old Michael was a close second with his gun, pointing it at the same wolf.


    "Damn, I''m in love! That move was hot! Don''t you think so bro? I mean the speed she brought that gun up, it was so damn hot as hell..."


    I couldn''t believe what I was hearing. I wasn''t the only one who turned to stare at Mac.


    "Mac, when I''m done with this asshole, I''m going to take care of you," Anna said without letting him distract her from the wolf who thought he could just claim her.


    "I''ll be here waiting, darling, cause that move blew me away! Where''d you learn to swing a gun like that? You and me gonna have to get together on a shooting range somewhere..."


    "Mac, later if you don''t mind?" I interrupted. "And somehow I don''t think she meant the same thing you''re thinking when she said she''d take care of you," I managed to get out with only a hint of a smile flashing across my otherwise straight face.


    "I don''t care man, whatever she wants to do, I''m down for it. I ain''t never..."


    Anna swung her shotgun toward Mac. "One more word!"


    I was having a hard time keeping from busting a gut with laughter. God only knew what the wolves around us were thinking! I knew Anna wouldn''t appreciate me laughing at her situation. I figured the stress of this situation was getting to her. I also knew I was going to have a blast ribbing Mac later.


    "Cousin, please, there are wolves waiting. Put the gun down, at least for now? Please."


    I couldn''t keep the humor from my voice, and from the look Anna threw me, I''d be next after she dealt with Mac. She slowly lowered her gun, aiming it back in the general direction of the wolf  she had previously targeted, as she gave me a nod. I could practically taste the adrenaline coming out of her.


    I tried to refocus on the gathered wolves. I was tired. I looked out on the numerous wolves as dusk settled in, before I focused on the one in front of me.


    "Shall we establish some ground rules?" I asked. "First. There will no longer be killing or kidnapping of innocents. Second. Those who do not choose the wolf will not be bitten. And lastly, you will learn what it truly means to be one with the wolf within you."


    "And who are you, that you think you can command us?" the werewolf that spoke of killing my family demanded.


    "He''s the Alpha King," called out Sheep, standing tall and sure. He had two wolves behind him.


    I closed my eyes and prayed for patience.


    "This?" growled my challenger laughing. "Then I challenge you for the right of kingship over these wolves!" He shifted to wolf, preparing to attack.


    There was uneasy movement among the gathered wolves, many, I''m sure, who had no intention of calling anyone their king.


    I held up my hand, glancing around, making eye contact with those who were mine.


    "Be still. Let me deal with this one. Those who know me, well, the rest will learn. As for you," I said, focusing once more on the wolf in front of me, "whenever you''re ready."


    Mac gave a chuckle, practically rubbing his hands together in anticipation. "Bro," he called out over his shoulder to Lone Wolf, "a grand for under two minutes?"


    "Two grand, over ten. He''s got to show him who''s boss," said Lone Wolf.


    Mac fiddled with his watch, bringing his eyes up to focus on me. I shook my head at him. This was a serious challenge, with lives at stake. A bump on my leg had me looking down. I pushed Dad back.


    "This is my fight," I told him. He growled, but backed up. He paced behind me, keeping a snarl on his face.


    Looking at my waiting opponent once more, I figured how long it had taken him to shift. I took just a little bit longer to throw him off guard.


    He waited until I was done shifting, then rushed me with a frontal attack. I caught him with furry arms, using his momentum to flip him over and send him sailing. He landed with a slight yelp. I faced him on two legs, clawed feet and fur, but human arms and torso.


    I could hear Sheep chuckle slightly as he whispered to the two he had brought.


    "Leadership challenges are always full wolf. You fight dishonorably," the one who thought he could just take Anna shouted out angrily.


    "The last leadership battle I fought, we fought with all we are. I want everyone to be sure there is no question about the winner of this battle. As my hunter said," I spared an amused glance at Lone Wolf, "I have to show him who''s boss."


    I shifted back to wolf, even though I didn''t plan on keeping to his rules. I had my own.


    We circled for a moment longer. He made a long leap toward me, aiming for my back. I flipped over as he came so I was under him on my back. My feet caught his underside and, with my suddenly human hips and thigh muscles, sent him flying again. I kept my whole demeanor one of amusement as I maintained my momentum to face him on two feet.


    I refused to take this asshole seriously until the end when I would indeed show him who was boss. I already knew I could take him. I had a feeling he was one of those who ruled by bullying.


    With every lunge he made at me, I shifted closer to wolf, holding the partial shift. My control did not go unnoticed.


    "I told you," Lobo told his friend, "he told the old one. They are noble born as well as being royal. Only such a one can make a claim to kingship of all wolves."


    "And you know the only command I would give if I commanded as a king," I growled at Lobo.


    I was beginning to do a bit of circling myself at this point. I looked at the wolf who had complained about me fighting as human. "All wolf, hmm?" I growled out. There was a wolffish grin on my mostly human face. I gazed intently at my opponent. He snarled back at me.


    I accessed the alpha within me. I lunged, full wolf. My lips curled, but I made no sound and gave no warning. It wasn''t until I was practically at his throat I let out some angry growls, tearing into him, leaving small puncture wounds on his neck and shoulder.


    I leapt away, silent once more, the unspoken snarl rippling across my snout. He started to move and I rushed him again, grasping a forepaw as I flipped him to his side. I left scratched skin instead of broken bones. He knew I was playing with him.


    The faintest smell of fear started to come from him. It was like a signal to the wolf I had become. This time I pinned him, my jaws around his throat, much like Sheep had once held Lone Wolf.


    He couldn''t get up with my weight on his shoulder. When he started to struggle I tightened my grip. When he growled at me I tightened it more, giving his neck a shake. His jugular was between my teeth. All I had to do was bite down and he was dead.


    I didn''t want him dead. I didn''t want to be some damn alpha king either, but like with Sheep, if I didn''t break the authority of these alphas, these werewolves would never change how they lived; and how they lived was something that desperately needed to change!


    I slowly let go. The second he was clear, he tried to come up into my neck. Wolf fury filled me again as I rounded on him. I was literally biting him everywhere. His one tooth barely drew blood on my shoulder. I ripped open his shoulder, my claws digging into his sides as my teeth left a tear in his flank. I didn''t leap away this time, continuing to tear into him with my teeth.


    He was breathing hard, beginning to accept that he was not going to win this battle. I was the one who no longer waited. I continued to press my attack, leaving damage on both sides of his body.


    So far, there wasn''t anything that couldn''t be fixed with a few dozen stitches. I circled once more. It was a panicking man who looked back at me from his wolf form. My snout wrinkled in satisfaction.


    I rushed him once more, pinning him, grabbing a front leg. I knew he felt the pressure from me that would break it. He held very still, not daring to move, but he didn''t submit. I growled at him. He knew what I wanted and refused to give it to me. I let go and backed up a little.


    My whole demeanor changed from fierce, almost feral, wolf, to something almost playful. Instead of circling him stiff-legged, it was a casual, teasing pounce toward his back end. I had my rump high in the air, daring him to try and bite it while I purposely bit him in the ass.


    I got off him, circling around admiring my work, wagging my tail. Hissing laughter came out as I went for the opposite butt cheek. He was not going to be sitting down without thinking about me for a long time.


    I thought about Sister''s story and her contemplation about wearing earrings before and after shifting. I knew about where an earlobe would be after shifting back. I pinned him again, no growls this time, and purposely nipped an ear.


    He yelped, squirming away from me.


    I laughed, taking my time pinning him to nip the other ear. All of his wolves that looked at him would have this physical reminder staring them in the face, his face! I nipped him in his lip, eliciting a painful howl from him. I shoved my rump in the side of his face, pushing his head to the ground, shifting slightly to grab his back paw, bringing it closer and nipping a pad on the underneath side.


    I could smell his emotions. If he was human, he would be crying like a little child right now. I walked a short distance away from him. I caught his eyes and held them with my own.


    "Submit," I growled out softly.


    He gave me the barest shake of his head in refusal. I was instant wolf fury and didn''t stop this time until the wolf in him couldn''t help but continually whimper, rolling over, tail curled in, neck bared to me in submission.


    "Let''s review the ground rules, shall we?" I asked from a wolf throat, my nose in his neck.


    "First. There will be no killing or kidnapping of innocents. Let me hear you say so. Come on, shift back to man. I will not kill or kidnap..."


    He shuddered under me. I stayed above him as a wolf as he shifted. He whimpered in pain as human muscles felt the effects from my bites. Tempted as I was to look him over, I kept my wolf stare on his face. He barely glanced at me before looking away. He drew his legs up, curling into a ball. I pressed one paw on each of his shoulders,  keeping him from turning away from me.


    I snarled softly. "No killing," I growled quietly.


    "No killing," he whimpered, keeping his eyes down, pissing a little.


    "No kidnapping," I snarled.


    "No kidnapping," came out in a whisper. I wanted him to say it louder but I didn''t push it.


    "Don''t bite someone unless they ask for it," I said in a louder voice, so all could hear. "Like you did," I added with hissing wolf laughter at his marked up body.


    He didn''t say anything, but turned red in embarrassment. I got off him, returning to man-form as a rose above him. Reaching down, I tugged on his arm, grabbing his hand to pull him up.


    "I cannot force you to learn what it truly means to be one with the wolf within you. I wish I could. I am willing to help you, if you are willing to accept my help and learn. So much would make sense to you if you understood the nature of what you are."

 50 Ch 50 Challange

    The wounded man before me didn''t say anything. Now that we were standing, I could see the damage I''d done to him.


    "Go over and ask Doc over there, politely, considering you were thinking about killing him a few minutes ago,  for what we''ll need for stitches. We''ll get you cleaned up real quick."


    He looked surprised. "I''ll be fine," he muttered.


    I let out a slight growl. I couldn''t force care upon him.


    "No matter what you say," called out the one Anna still had her shotgun roughly aimed at, "we can''t just let them go."


    "What part of not kidnapping and not biting didn''t you understand?" I asked wearily.


    "Just because you played with that poor excuse for an alpha doesn''t give you the right to command us all," he said.


    "That was never a right I''ve claimed," I sighed.


    "Boy over there named you the Alpha King," he retorted.


    "I am the alpha of a pack of alphas. If you understood what it meant to be one with the wolf, you would understand what that means. He understands it to mean Alpha King, but then he''s still learning what it means to be one with the wolf."


    "Then why should anyone obey you, even that..." and he sneered toward my beaten foe, "not even worth calling it an alpha."


    "He is still alpha of his pack. And now I am his alpha."


    "It doesn''t work that way."


    "If you were part of my pack you would understand."


    He sneered again, turning to the side, taking a defensive stance. He was older than the other one, possibly in his lower forties. His body was lean and well defined, similar in build to my dad''s. He had scars that spoke of experience, as well as a puckered mark on his shoulder which declared him a created werewolf from being bitten.


    I had a few scars of my own even if mine had come from practice bouts, except that last fight with Dad. A leadership battle, I thought. Who knew such things existed? I had become an alpha even if I didn''t realize it at the time.


    For Dad and I, there was a balance between being wolf and man, something these bitten werewolves didn''t seem to understand at all. My pack was a pack of true wolves who understood how to be one with the wolf, balanced with being good men. My pack was those like Sheep, willing to learn. It was family, and friends like Mac who became like family.


    "Give me a chance to rest up, then come run with me, my brother, you will see..."


    "See what?" he interrupted derisively. "Come run with you as part of your pack? When I defeat you, I will take you back to mine. I will teach you..."


    I didn''t wait, shifting without thought. My leap was instinctual. I was too tired to focus as I should, having been too much the wolf recently. He blocked me, shoving me off to the side even as he began to shift.


    I circled, snarling, waiting for him to finish changing to a wolf. I lowered my head, not in submission, but in preparation, protecting my neck. I was stalking, my eyes focused on my prey. My steps were glides, my muscles ready to shift or jump.


    We came together, our snarls filling the air. His teeth clipped the folds of my ruff. I went sideways, shoving my shoulder into him. I spun, bringing my hind legs up even as he was falling to the ground. My claws raked his side. His front paws clung to my neck, his teeth coming in for another bite. I lowered my head, blocking his bite, shoving my forehead into his neck. His teeth scraped my scalp. My teeth scraped his chest.


    He rolled away, snarling, but looking at me as a man inside a wolf. I doubted he had ever been completely wolf.


    In the last few days, I had lived more as a wolf than a man. Trying to regain my focus, I thought about what Dad had said; the wolf needed to know, I needed to know, that I needed to be human to survive. Where my previous opponent only knew the rudiments of fighting, this one knew more. I needed man-smarts to survive. My mind focused on the lesson Jacob had given me. The man in me knew I needed a wolf''s reactionary instinct to survive as well.


    I felt myself shift. There was pressure in my skull and my vision doubled for a second. I growled, shaking my head. My adversary took advantage of my distraction to attack.


    I focused on his body, picturing joints, and organs. The wolf isn''t made to swing up into where organs are. When he came in, and he came in fast, I swung my head to cause a blow into his kidneys. I leaped away.


    I circled, waiting for an opening to rush him. When it came, I knocked him over then made a short leap, watching for his teeth, bring all four of my paws down on one point. He yelped, even as he struggled up from under me. Soon we were circling again.


    My fangs were showing in a silent snarl. He came in, ducking low, trying to grab a paw. I moved my head over his shoulders, giving a little pounce, bringing my legs up so I was on top of him, draped along his back. I stood on my hind legs for a second and brought my front paws up, wrapping them around his neck.


    He reared up, trying to throw me off. Where once I shifted while trying to stay looking like a man, now I shifted to stay looking like a wolf. My hips moved so I could bring my hind legs in for a tighter grasp. I added my teeth into the ruff at the back of his neck to strengthen my hold and limit his head movement.


    He tried everything to break my hold. He spun, tried reaching over his shoulder to bite me, even trying to fall backward so I was under him. My hold was secure. I was surprised when he started shifting to man. That made me let him go, pacing in front of him. I expected him to concede the bout since he had insisted it be all wolf.


    He kept twitching as he shifted back, until finally, he was upright, breathing hard.


    "You''ve gone feral," he panted. "Your ordeal underground was too much for you. These people who came to rescue you need to understand that killing you is actually a kindness. You and the black wolf over there. I don''t think he can ever be a man again."


    I had a feeling he was the one who had come as close to being what he called feral as he had ever been. The wolf doesn''t like being confined and had tried to come to the forefront to help. He had come up with a human strategy to keep himself from becoming a wolf within himself if murder was a strategy.


    He glanced toward my friends and family pointing the guns at him. "I do not expect you to kill one who obviously means so much to you, but you need to understand he is a danger to everyone now. He cannot remain alive."


    I hissed with laughter. He turned back to stare at me. He knew he couldn''t take me, I thought, he knew it! He had no plans on submitting to me so he planned on trying to kill me. Good to know.


    I did not shift. I spoke in my mother''s tongue, so my family would understand and he would not. "All is well. Stay wolf, Father." The words were growled out. I doubted my opponent knew I had even spoken.


    "See?" He pointed dramatically at me before standing tall. He looked at the wolves behind me, his wolves, nodding at them, then shifted to wolf once more.


    While waiting for him to shift back, I spared a look behind my opponent at Mac.  He looked like he was snarling himself, ready to take on the man/wolf who was planning on killing me. Dad had moved his pacing to be in front of Mac, blocking him, proof that Dad was thinking as a man and was not feral.


    I faced this wolf who was only a man. He was filled with a human desire to murder. I was filled with a wolf''s instinct to survive. More than that, I was filled with human cunning, and a certain amount of amusement that he actually believed the people here would believe anything he said. If harm came to any of those who came to save me, I doubted my opponent would walk out of Yellowstone alive.


    When my opponent came at me this time, he tried to use his weight to pin me down. I shifted enough, without losing my wolf form, adjusting my balance to throw him off me.


    I had two goals I wanted to accomplish during this fight. I wanted to prove that a wolf could come back from being feral, and I wanted to make more of a fool of him than I did the alpha whose butt I had bitten. I was straining my brain to figure out what could top being bitten, twice, in the butt.


    For the first part, I went all out as if I was a feral wolf. I made a show of growling and snapping. I kept my wits about me. I avoided every attack, some narrowly. He was a good fighter, and there were a few times that if I hadn''t fought with Dad as often as I had, he might have killed me. He was focusing exclusively on my neck now.


    Our clashes had us both bleeding in spots. I could feel my exhaustion. The wolf within me wanted to lower my head. I lifted it instead, knowing I couldn''t afford to show how tired I was.


    Time to focus on my second goal, while I had the reserves of energy to do so.

 51 Ch 51 Second Goal

    I waited until we were circling once more. Trying to be unobtrusive, I narrowed the distance between us slightly. I swallowed as my cheeks and throat adjusted for easier human speech. My sudden stop had him step toward me, thinking he had an opening. Cocking my head, I looked at him as if I was puzzled, anticipating his surprise.


    "You''re ear doesn''t look right." The words came out roughly human normal.


    His eyes went wide. Not only my ability to talk in my wolf form, but my incongruent statement threw him off balance on all levels. That was my opening.


    I pounced, teeth finding their mark, shredding his ear. He growled, pulling away, actually making my teeth do more damage than I had planned.


    He shook his head rapidly, blood splattering out. Ears were hard to stop bleeding. I went back in before he could recover, ripping his nose. He yelped, spinning around. He would have a scar there. I had a feeling the wolf in him was beginning to panic, wanting to run.


    I had decided I didn''t want to mark him up the way I had the other one. His threat against Anna made the target I wanted to damage very specific.


    I went on the offensive, fighting as wolves fight, rolling him, but still unable to reach my target. Still, my teeth and claws did as much damage as I could manage before he recovered. He yelped again, struggling to get his footing. Once he was up, he tried a frontal attack, desperate to get at me.


    We had another round of snapping and snarling, front legs locked together for a moment. We broke apart, each looking for an opening. I rushed him once more, knocking him over, shifting to angle my legs right this time. I dug my back claws in, raking deeply into his privates.


    He howled in pain. I walked stiffly around him, slowly coming back around to face him as he writhed on the ground before me.


    I walked over, and quite deliberately, hoisted a leg and let loose a stream on him. He painfully moved away from me and I let him. I heard Mac chuckle.


    I stood tall, staring intently at my adversary. I lowered my head just a smidgen.


    "Do you want to see me truly feral?" I asked with smooth, deep-sounding human words coming out my wolf throat. I closed my eyes, focusing within myself.


    Spirit Wolf, my brother and true alpha to these wolves. Help me reach them...


    A spasm shook my body. I shifted but I was still wolf. I felt strange. Spirit Wolf moved us. The wolf before me cringed, then tried to run, succeeding in merely scooting along the ground. My/our roaring growl shook the ground. I/we ran, gliding, catching our prey easily. My prey cowered in our paws. Our teeth were at his throat.


    I blinked, my vision swimming like it had in the fire. I could see the people, smell the wolves, hear the panicked beating of the heart before me.


    Spirit Wolf gave out the barest growl.


    The wolf below me whimpered. I don''t know what he saw when he looked at me. I did not doubt he was aware of Spirit Wolf.


    "Shift." The command was quiet and absolute, spoken around my opponent''s ruff.


    He shifted faster than he had before, as if he had no control of it. His back was wet from my stream. His ear and nose were covered in blood. The terrified man whimpered much as he had as a wolf.


    My teeth were still around his neck.


    "Please," he whimpered out, "he''s feral, he''s going to kill me. Stop him."


    "So?" said Mac. "You were gonna kill him. Ain''t as easy as you thought it''d be."


    I heard Mac move.


    "Uh, uh. You damn wolves stay right where you are. Right now, it''s one on one. You want to change that? Go four on four? I''m the second one in. I''m guessing Black Wolf here will be number three. We might have to fight it out amongst ourselves first to decide on who''s the fourth, so sit back while we figure it out. Otherwise everyone might just step forward at the same time, unless the bullets best us all."


    I heard the pacing behind me stop.


    "Feral," I growled. "I am not feral." My words came out that coarse growling, from the back of my throat. "Kill you? I will not kill you. You dared call another worthless? Omega, I call you! My omega."


    He squirmed under me. One of my back paws went to his damaged privates and applied pressure. He keened in pain. If he had still been wolf, the whites of his eyes would be showing from his fear.


    My teeth came up from his throat. One front paw went there instead. I stared at him. It was Spirit Wolf looking out of my eyes. Spirit Wolf looked out on the gathered wolves, meeting every eye.


    "NO KILLING."


    Many wolves shifted to human.


    "No killing," resounded around the field, loudest from those who were against what wolves like the ones I fought stood for.


    Spirit Wolf looked once more at the man beneath our paws.


    "TO BE WOLF IS CHOICE," he/we snarled out.


    Heads across the field bowed down. My wolves, the true wolves, nodded.


    Spirit Wolf stuck his snout into the man''s neck.


    "LEARN TO BE WOLF."


    "I will," the man got out between his tears, for he was abjectly crying.


    I felt Spirit Wolf focus on me. I felt his love and offered him my thanks. I reiterated my commitment to help these wolves. Spirit Wolf withdrew. I felt a shudder go through me. I felt dizzy. I shifted back to man automatically as Spirit Wolf withdrew, landing on my knees, breathing heavily. I strained to focus on the man before me.


    "Are we done here? Or are you still planning on killing me or kidnapping my family?"


    "No killing," he whispered, shaking his head.


    "Then I ask again, will you run with me, my brother? In a few days? I really want to sleep."


    He only nodded. I sighed and stood up, reaching down a hand to pull him up. He took it hesitantly. I clapped him on the shoulder and moved away, letting him figure out how to tend his mangled manhood. I moved toward Dad.


    "Please," one of the men standing around called out. I stopped and turned around.


    "Can you bring someone back from being feral? My brother..." the young man half-sobbed out his desperate request.


    I sighed as I walked over to him. My body ached. I put my hand behind his head, pulling our foreheads together. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with his scent, before letting go and stepping a pace back.


    "How long have you been wolves?" I asked, eyeing the scar of a bite mark at the base of his neck.


    "We were bitten two years ago," he answered.


    "Does your brother shift forms often?"


    "About the same as the rest of us."


    "Does it hurt him to shift?"


    "Yes, he always cries out when he shifts. He can''t hold it in."


    I rubbed my forehead a little. I was feeling the effects from fighting and merging with Spirit Wolf. I considered the meaning in what this man said. His wording revealed so much.


    "You''re told to hold it in?" I inquired.


    He nodded yes.


    "And punished if you don''t?" I continued.


    He looked down but nodded. I sighed again.


    "Why would he want to shift back to man then," I asked, "if all he has to look forward to is more punishment? At least he knows some joy as a wolf. Where is he now?"


    "Caged, waiting for our return. If he is still a wolf when we return..." He fell silent as his tears fell.


    "Which one is your alpha?"


    He pointed. The man fidgeted uneasily.


    "You plan on killing his brother?" I asked him.


    "No killing," he answered back softly. "But I don''t know what to do with him then."


    "I''ll come. I''ll help." I turned to the brother, smiling. "It''ll be ok, you''ll see."


    Something about the alpha got my attention.


    "What?" I tilted my head waiting for an answer. He remained silent, his weight shifting from foot to foot.


    "Look," I said in exasperation, "I don''t want to take over your pack. I don''t want your territory. I have my pack. My territory as a wolf is whatever land is under my feet. I want those with the wolf within them to understand what they are. No wolf deserves to live in fear."


    I pointed to Sheep, raising my voice a little. "What does the wolf want?"


    "The sun on our backs, to hunt when we are hungry, the companionship of friends and family," he said clearly and without hesitation. I had to smile.


    "And our song across the sky," I added, grinning at him. I looked up at the darkening night. The first stars were shining in twilight''s gloom.


    I threw back my head, finding that half-shift where my head was mostly wolf, and howled. I sang out a song full of appreciation for Spirit Wolf. It was long and full-throated. Many, but not all, of the wolves sang with me.


    A hawk soared along our song across the sky, adding to the refrain.


    I was ready to go home.

 52 Ch 52 Interlude

    Sleep. All I wanted was sleep. I had walked briefly among the strangers who showed up to rescue me, many giving me a nodding bow. I clapped Sheep on the arm, smiling at him. Lobo started on about meeting his friend.


    "At the pointe. I''ll meet everyone at the pointe. Be careful, don''t shift in Yellowstone, there are cameras here and there. Can you help them to the pointe Lobo? I''ll meet anyone who wants to meet with me in a few days. I appreciate it, my friend."


    I rode out of Yellowstone on a four-wheeler behind Mac. I dozed on and off against his broad back. I lost track of Dad. There were vehicles and wolves around us. My wolves. I stirred upon occasion, saw Cherokee and Businessman running on four legs nearby. Anna''s four-wheeler followed Mac out. Her vehicle had a small narrow trailer that Derrick was laying in.


    I glanced over once and saw Running Elk beside me on an ATV. There was a girl pressed against his back who gave me the biggest smile and waved. I smiled back but didn''t move my arms from around Mac, merely resting my head against him and yawning.


    I wasn''t sure where we were when we stopped. It wasn''t his place or mine. All I know is Mac helped me in a door and I curled up on a mattress. I heard a growl and woke enough to look up. I huffed and Dad joined me, smelling of shampoo. I got as far as thinking I should clean up.


    When I woke the next time, it was to the smell of food. I raised my head but couldn''t focus my vision on anything. I heard a slap and Mac chuckle. I laid back down.


    The next time I woke I really woke. I reeked even to myself and desperately wanted a shower. The lighting was dim but I could see the space around me was large. I rolled off the bed, trying not to wake Dad.


    "Showers are that way, stack of shorts there. Anna has a whole cooler here full of your tea."


    Mac threw me a bottle of tea. I was surprised I had hands to catch it. Mac was shaking his head. I raised up... had I been a wolf and shifted enough to catch the bottle? I must have been. I remembered four paws hitting the ground now that I thought about it.


    I nodded to Mac, who had to be uncomfortable in that little metal folding chair. I took note of the pistol he had set on top of the cooler after he closed it. How long had he been sitting there watching over me?


    I went in to shower, drinking the tea as I went. I hummed a little as I scrubbed, stopping to lean against the wall.


    "Still tired?" Dad asked.


    I nodded, closing my eyes and just enjoying the water. I about jumped out of my skin when Dad started rubbing me down with a lathered-up washcloth. I swatted his hand away.


    "Not like I never scrubbed you before, Son. Let me get the backside. You really are filthy. Not as bad as the time you took the chocolate trail though. I think that was the only time your mom was really mad at me. She made me clean up the mess you made."


    I stood there, leaning against the wall, letting my father do his mothering. I smiled, remembering the night he spoke of. It was the first time I had yelled at Dad.


    I hadn''t wanted to spend my birthday training. He had insisted he was going to track me to see what I had learned in the past year. He gave me a brief head start and I''d took off running.


    I had used trees to keep my scent off the ground, jumping a fence to purposely land in a cow patty. It was a route we came to call the chocolate trail for two reasons. The first reason was the manure piles left by the cows I had jumped into like stepping stones, rolling thoroughly in each one.


    The second reason was what had been waiting for me at home. My reward if I got home without him being able to trail me was a chocolate cake. He never let me eat chocolate, telling people I was allergic to it. It was my tenth birthday and Mom had made me the chocolate cake I wanted.


    I made it home, cut one slice out to save for Mom, and ate the whole rest of the cake, wolfing it down, leaving him none. I was mad at him and full of vindication in my ability to outmaneuver him.


    They got home with me curled up on the kitchen floor, under the table. I had gone in on their bed to wait for them, dozing on and off, when I felt sick. I had headed back to the kitchen to see if they''d made it home yet.


    It was Mom''s gentle touch that woke me up. She didn''t say a word at first. When she did, she just gently told me she was going to get my bed ready, then looked at Dad over her shoulder.


    "Clean your son," she had said. Not just said, but gently commanded in a way that left no room for argument.


    Mom wasn''t sure if my stomach was upset merely because I had eaten chocolate. She was leaning toward the fact I had eaten the whole cake that had upset my stomach. She had fixed up my bed while Dad took me into the bathroom to clean me up. I had dry manure all over me except my hands and face, which I had cleaned before eating the cake. I hadn''t scrubbed the rest of me because I was in a hurry to finish off the cake before he got home.


    Dad didn''t say a word back then. Neither had I, despite the many rehearsed arguments I had prepared for my dad.  He had scrubbed my fur repeatedly, massaging the muscles in the process, finally getting me to shift back to a boy. Mom had slept with me that night, gently stroking my forehead.


    I never thought about how the rest of the mess, the trail of goo I''d left all over the house, the chocolate cake which had come back up all over their bed, had gotten cleaned up.


    "Was she really mad?"


    "Not at you," he said, "at me for goading you as I did. She said I deserved to appreciate the results of my efforts. I spent that whole night and half the next day scrubbing in appreciation! Never did training on your birthday after that, only fun things for you. I miss her."


    "Me too. I''m glad I have you though."


    His hands paused in their scrubbing before going back to work on me. I think I might have dozed on my feet. He rewashed my hair.


    "It''s getting long again, time to get it cut, " he commented.


    "Keeping it long this time," I mumbled.


    I leaned on him as I stepped into the shorts, and he guided me back out and over to a kitchen set up.


    I yawned. "Where are we, anyway?"


    "Warehouse," Mac said quietly. "It''s about two in the morning." He brought over two more bottles of tea.


    "Go sleep," I told him as Dad brought over a big bowl from the fridge. It was full of potatoes, chunks of beef, and small carrots.


    I lifted the bowl and gobbled it down, not even realizing until I was done that I literally had wolfed it down. I licked my snout, tried to shift back to man, knowing I was in-between.


    "Don''t worry about me kid," said Mac, "I think I''ve seen just about everything now."


    I looked at his slightly wide eyes as he tried to be nonchalant about me wolfing down my dinner. I chuckled and grabbed the bottle of tea. Dad grabbed the other one as I put a hand on Mac''s shoulder as I headed back to bed.


    "Thank you for coming for us, " I told him, knowing how totally inadequate that was for all he had done.


    Mac only nodded.


    I thought about the first bottle of tea I had finished. I didn''t remember where I had set it. Dad took the empty bottle out of my hands, pushing me back so I landed on the mattress.


    "Sleep," he growled softly, jumping up next to me. I curled up, then stood and circled, landing so I was spooned inside of Dad, my head over one of his paws. He pulled his paw out but rested his head over my shoulder.


    I sighed in contentment and slept.


    I woke again as I felt a warmth in front of me go away. I looked up to see a woman holding the young she-pup.


    "She''s fine," I said with a smile. The woman hesitated, and in that hesitation, the pup squirmed out of her arms and made her way back to me. The bed was low and I reached over and picked the pup up by her scruff, setting her next to me.


    "Brave one, thank you for coming to rescue me. You''ll have to tell me the story of your adventure sometime."


    She looked at me, her eyes shining, no longer content to cuddle now that she knew I was awake. She gave out a little growl, looking up at me before pouncing at my throat.


    My arm snaked around her, rolling her along my chest. I brought my other arm around to tickle her nose. She sneezed and I laughed, letting go of her. She stalked me along the length of the mattress, heading down toward my feet. I was glad I had shorts on from after my shower last night.


    "Grace!" a man''s voice called out. She pounced before anyone could stop her play.


    "Ouch, you have sharp teeth little one! My toes are mortally wounded!" I shook the foot she had nabbed, then laid it sideways as if it had died.


    She yowled at the ceiling and went to claim her prize. I jerked my foot away before her tiny claws could sink into my tender flesh. She looked at me in surprise. Her mother picked her up and carried her away. I waved to her as she looked at me over her mom''s shoulder.


    "You used to love pouncing on my feet," said Dad. "There were days they felt like a pin cushion."


    I laughed, sitting up and stretching.


    "Feel better?" he asked.


    "Yeah, still tired but better. Not sleep tired, just lazy tired. I don''t feel like doing anything except eating breakfast."


    I held my hand in front of me, shifted it to paw then back to a hand. It took almost no concentration. I had a feeling I had hit a new level in my ability to change forms. There was no line between being man and being wolf I reminded myself. I lowered my hand and looked at Dad.


    "You''ve changed, Son. You remind me of my grandfather."


    "Man and wolf," I said thoughtfully. "You''d said he''d stayed mostly wolf. I think I''m both now, all the time. My brain shifted while I fought. I needed to be both wolf and man at the same time. I think my brain went mid-shift. Tight squeeze in a wolf''s skull."


    It was Dad''s turn to look thoughtful. "You keep taking us to new places," he said quietly. "I don''t think I''m going to purposely try for that one though. You should have seen yourself. The timing was spectacular too, with that tremor happening when you roared, as if you''d summoned it forth."


    I shook my head. "That wasn''t me, it was Spirit Wolf, just like the night of the fire. It was both of us. I could feel him..."


    Dad pursed his lips in amusement at my slight confusion. "It was worth seeing, anyway. Let''s get you some breakfast. You slept for a whole day."


    "Mahina?"


    "Safe. Mac told her to stay away. He doesn''t trust those wolves. Can''t say I blame him."


    I nodded. Mac looked to be in full warrior mode, treating the situation as if it was one of his black ops missions. A warehouse for a safe house, I thought. I looked around at the row of air mattresses. There was a section screened off with plastic pallets standing on end where the woman had taken the pup and where I could hear Anna.


    Anna came out, her eyes locking on where Mac was sleeping. He had bunked by the entrance of that little area, where he could see into that space if he had been awake. Anna gave me a nod as she stalked by, heading to the kitchen. When she came back by I scurried to the far end of the warehouse. Dad beat me there.


    Mac''s yell was priceless. Anna stood there holding a now-empty pot, fuming.


    "Move the damn bed!"


    "Damn girl, you didn''t have to drench me!"


    "Move the bed now!"


    "Alright, alright! Think you might appreciate someone watching out for you instead of you drowning them."


    Mac hauled his dripping wet self up and shoved the air mattress over some.


    Anna threw the pot so it skittered across the floor to stop by his feet. She went back behind the partition.


    Mac held still at the clicking of the shotgun Anna was pointing at him. He turned around slowly.


    "You need me to prove to you that I can watch out for myself?"


    Mac sat down on the wet mattress.


    "I think I''m in love."


    Anna practically screamed in exasperation as she put the safety back on the gun and went back behind the partition.


    A nudge on my arm had me looking at Running Elk. We busted out laughing at the same time.


    "You''re next!" Anna yelled without coming out from behind the partition.