《Memoirs of Demon Lord》 1 Demon Lord Uhchna I don''t remember how everything came to be.It just is and was. I am a demon lord, a king above all the demons of this world. I don''t even know what this world is anyway. If you really think about it, we''re just practically an massive island in the middle of the endless sea. After four hundred years of living through countless battles, I came to the realization that I don''t even know why I must conquer the world. I mean, who does it serve? Who actually benefit from it? and most of all, Why Do I Have To Be The Demon King? Why couldn''t it be someone else? My memories are pretty blurry at this point. However the one thing that always true was.... There''s always the demon lord and there''s always the heroes who oppose them. As long as I can remember, my purpose as a Demon Lord was always so vague. Every time I tried to talk with the heroes that come to slay me, they were always such blowhard. Always refusing to talk and just charge right in, sword brandishing. The worst part was, they were weak, oh so very weak. Just a flick of a finger and they easily died. Even a single lost bee is a harder adversary than these moronic buffoons. Take this....oh...67th group of heroes that are challenging me right now. Let me tell you how pathetic these guys are. Not a Decent fighter among these morons. Come on, Priest girl! Your Sword hero is in need of healing! Can''t you see his injured arm? It''s literally hanging by sinews and skin! And you! Mage dude, what the hell are you doing inspecting me with your magic? You''re supposed to shoot me with your Dark Ray of Destruction, I know those royal mages spent nearly three month teaching you that damn magic skill! Hell, some of them even divorced their wife because of it! Elven Archer girl, what in the serious hell are you doing shooting me with those flimsy mithril arrows? They''re not even enchanted! I know you didn''t spent that fifteen thousand gold coins that is your party funds on just booze and men! You''re supposed to use those Dragon Bone arrows your elders gave you. Those are the only lethal ones that can injure me greatly! You see what I have to deal with? These incompetent morons? Yeah....every time, every freaking time, that as soon as I start asking "Why have you come, Heroes?" If they even let me finish my question, they just charge right in, yelling "Die, Evil Demon Lord!" What evil? Seriously, What Evil things have I done? I don''t even do anything but stay up in this dreary, dark, gloomy castle surround by jagged rocks and lava, LAVA! I tell you. It''s a wonder my castle didn''t fall to ruin years ago. I mean, even my damn bed is made of rocks, and to top it off, I got screaming banshees under the castle basement screaming days and nights. I have not a good night sleep for the last fifty years! Let me tell you about my wretched domain. I fought hard for it and it literally just screwed me, it screwed me back, front and damn sideways. My field grow nothing, not even shit. Hell, I''d be glad if it grow only shit. It grow nothing, Just damn and endless rocks. My castle, if you can even call it that, is just a hollowed out mountain with caves for rooms. The basement is just another bigger cave. My dinner is mana and fish, my breakfast is mana and fish, my snack is mana And Fish! Can you guess what I serve my guests? ... That''s right! It''s Mana and Fish! I once read a human book describing that the Demon Lord supposed to have a grand palace filled with golden treasure and dying screams of the innocents everywhere. I think the writer must have been a insane idiot with brain full of maggots. I mean, where''s the damn golden treasure? All I see is rocks upon rocks. What Palace? This place, it''s no palace! Hell, it''s not even fit to be a stable for horses. Screaming of the innocents!!??? That''s probably the banshees down below. I got no prison, and definitely not enough food around to feed any prisoner. I can barely feed my "guards" as they are.Hell, I don''t even got two gold coins to rub together anyhow. Demons are considered evil everywhere, but let''s face it.When your home, the only place that you can stay atis a shitty hell hole like this, it make you just want something better.It''d be great if this place is warm, but nooo....there''s always have that damn thunderstorm over head, then the damn winter.Luckily us demon are pretty resistant to the cold, but it still cold ya know.... Well.....what do you know....Mage dude finally made a mistake of friendly fire and burned Sword guy, Nice Going, Idiot! And....now they''re fighting among each other....Come on guys, you''re fighting The Demon Lord here, at least show a little professionalism. I don''t know, I really really don''t know why I actually bother with this shit and oh....would you look at that, Sword guy holy sword just flew off. No doubt going to look for a new successor to slay me....and now the party is crying their eyes out begging me to let them live....I almost feel pity for these guys. You go into my home, you slaughter my guards, if you can even call a group of demon wearing rags that. You invades my people''s home and torment them and You Even insult me for absolutely no reason whatsoever. You even blown up my door which I had to carved by myself, couldn''t you at least knock? Now, you want me to forgive you for all that? Seriously, come on! After all that shit they pulled, now they''re even bawling their eyes out like some babies. Arrhgg...fine, you know what. I feeling pretty magnanimous at the moment, pissed off but still magnanimous enough. So I let them go. No! Archer Girl! Why? I let you guys go, why do you have to shoot me again and missed!!?? Of all thing that you could have shoot, why do you gotta shoot the carved head of my statues? well.....talk about stupid meet stupidity of the moronic magnificent. They just unleashed one of the several traps I set up in this cave chamber.....ya know, Priest girl, that barrier of your is not going to hold up against two ton of granite.....Still....there''s much worse way to go out. At least they died without much pain.... I''m tired... I think I''m going to go bang a banshee down below, and see what''s the screaming all about... 2 The Lament of EHTUHC I Let me ask a question..... How should heroes behave? I honestly don''t know how should a hero should be behaving. No, really...I don''t know... I have been at this job of being a Demon Lord for over two hundred years and even though I have had some pretty interesting challenges, one of them even manage to drive me back to a corner too. However it seem that with time, the qualities of heroes are deteriorating likethe one that I am currently facing....or rather suppose to be facing. This fool that I am suppose to be facing is nothing short of a joke. I Am the Overlord of Destruction and Despair, I am The Lord of the Dark Abyss, I am the Fiery King of Hell, and I have over a hundred thousand soldiers of demon at my beckoning, ready to die at single command. I Am The Almighty, THE ALL POWERFUL...EHTUHC!!! And yet, despite all that I am, here I am. In my dark and dreary castle awaiting like stupid donkey awaiting to be fed by cowardly hero who couldn''t even defeat a slime.....a SLIME! I tell you, what kind of useless little prick that couldn''t muster the courage to kill a damn SLIME! Ok....so maybe, just maybe, one can say that it''s reasonable to be afraid ofSlime King, those can really hurt you.They just won''t die, their regenative power are frightening.However the type of slime we are talking about here is the common one, hell....even the village children can one shot those little weakling with nothing but a stone. Now.....should our wonderful hero were to muster some courage and go out an kill monster, I think he''d make for a decent fight. But.....nnnooooo.....the fool spend his day lazing around in the castle and banging maids days and nights like some deviant maniac. I envy my friend on the other continent, now that was Demon King, he was so notorious that countries and nations goes for an open warfare against him. He wiped out nearly six kingdoms and massacred over three millions souls. In a desperate bid for victory,the remaining survivors band together to form a suicide team of heroes, who manage to seal my friend into the void, killing themselves in the process. There''s a secret though...it''s that Demon Lords high vitality and regenerative power are top notch, sealing us in the void is nothing short of a simple vacation, we can easily break out anytime we want. Add on that, over the centuries of conquest, we do tend to accumulate a lot of shits in our dimensional pocket which is completely accessible in the void.So, if I were to be sealed, I would have all the things I have accumulated over the centuries, slaves frozen in time, foodstuff, booze of all kinds, furnitures and even houses.Using special spatial thaumaturgy techniques, we can connect our sealing void space with other sealing void space too.I think it''s practially a universe by itself where Demon Lords are Gods of Creation, providing that we properly accumulated enough stuff for building. However no matter how top notch our magical power is, Demon Lord cannot access the sealing void by ourselves, that power for that stuff is entirely belong to the Goddess faction. The human, the dwarves, and the elves race.Those guy can access the power to seal us Demon Lords in these void space where we''re supposed to be trap and sealed for eternity.Hahahaha....what joke though. I was trapped and sealed in the void three times, and each time....It Was BLISS!!! No annoying servants banging on my door all panickly like and giving me bad news, No More stupid kings and nations trespassing uponmy front yard and calling me out on cold winter days. I can sleep however long I want without having some sneaky little ratty magicians coming in and blasting my face full of soots. Oh Man.....my void space has Everything,it got a cool palace made entirely of diamonds looted from the Dwarven kingdom over fifty years. I even got a poem of how cool and awesome my Void Palace is... Let''s HIT IT!! A Minotaur''s my butler, A dragonkin my valet A Two headed Centaur draws my Chariot that take me down the lays I got millions demons to walk me to my throne In the land of the Void Hell boy, ain''t it great? I''m the overking of the shadow world Cause I hold dominion of all In the land of the Void I''m demonside royalty I''m far renowned in the overworld And ya''ll can''t take that from me. Demon Wolf my lap dog is loyal as can be My bed is made of human skulls; I''m in the lap of luxuries I''ve got a Dragon''s Blood jacuzzi; the Banshees think it''s cool And a eight-headed Hydra livin'' in my swimmin'' pool In the land of the Void I''m demonside royalty I hold dominion over all things and I torment my slaves all days In the land of the Void Hell boy, ain''t it great? I overking of the shadow world cause I hold dominion of all ....ahem.....right, so there you have it. If I want to wake up in the morning with a blowjob ready, hell I get to have it from a succubus right off the moment I open my eyes.Damn....those girl can really suck a demon dry. However....there are times of course, when Demon Lord such as myself find it a little boring just to live in debauchery and pleasure all the time. So, to have a little bit of both world, we tend to unseal ourselves and return to the world of the Goddess.Now, that I am here, I find the world relatively boring and annoying. At least the sieging was fun, for the defending Demon that is. The usual tactics of my armies was to frontal attack of the city and leave death and destruction in the wake, but after some time, we found that tactic can be a little overly costly.So, one of my tactic officer proposed a new plan. We entered human cities with our spies who are capable to devouring and access memories of key humans and demons with abilities to disguise themselves as other humans have them turn over the cities to the Demon side. Of course, once they did that, we would be under sieged from the human, dwarf, elves alliance and thing is, the thing is.....man, Human can be vicious. Especially the ladies. Get a demon to seduce a lady and she''ll jump on top of the wall and help the demonkins to fight against the human that was supposed to ''free'' the city. Those ladies have a natural vindictiveness, who had no sense of fair play when it came to fighting soldiers. I supposed it''s because of all their young husband leaving for the army that these young women felt a little needs of love.Give a woman a spear and hole to jab it through, and the young men on the other side were in big troubles.Unluckily for the alliance of course, is that usually the city that is under sieged was being sieged by the young men whose origin was from that city.The area that we demon took was a natural recruiting ground for the regiments of human soldiers. It also an area of big families and matriarches whose word was family law. Oh what fun, what mischief, it was almost like cheating, when we give those ladies a megaphone and have them on a parapet yelling over the wall at the enemy side; "I know you''re out there, Decken! This is your wife! You CLIMB UP one more time and you''ll feel the pain of my rolling pin! And YOU! Robert, your sister sends her love and want you to hurry home.Your grandfather''s feeling a lot better with his new ointment for male itch! Now stop being a silly boy!" It was a dirty trick and so much fun. I was proud of it and my tactical officer was even prouder when I made him the Commander of 10,000 demons. Messages from people from your home city sapped fighting spirit way better than arrows. 3 The Lament of EHTUHC II Dear Diary Great NEWS!!! It has been a fortnight since anyone in Ukrah Kingdom has seen or heard from the Hero and the Princess.Solicitors, adventurers, even well known merchants are turned back by the gate guards with no word on their condition. Rumors are abound that the Hero is suffering from wasting sickness, and that the princess is so grief-stricken by the situation she has locked herself in her tower researching for a way to lift the sickness that has befalling the oh-mighty-summoned Hero. These are indeed most heinous and dark time for Humanity. What joke! Oh what fun, oh what delicious game of advertisement! Hahahaha, of course the truth is....the Hero happen to get something called a gonorrhea which can caused infertility, and of course a bit of itching and burning down the crotch area.If it WERE A NORMAL gonorrhea, they can treat it well with healing magic.The one thing you can always count on a human when they are put on a pedestal by other human is their endless lust and greed. Thus counting on the Hero''s arrogance and lust, it was easy to entice him to intercourse with a succubus assassin. BAHAHahahhaha!To be honest, I didn''t even think the plan was going to work.The hero fell in hard for my succubus and bang my assassin day and night, unknowningly infected himself with a more virulent form of gonorrhea that empower by dark demonic magic. Now, the foolish hero who have been making me wait will have to venture to my domain to give me my vacation....ahem....seal me away to ensure the peace of the world or have his stuff in eternal pain. Let me tell you how this is going to be,for the first week, the infectee will experience pain of itchiness and burning sensation of the crotch. Then suppose the infectee goes about of putting healing magic on this ''problem'' they''ll receive a nice surprise of sudden onset of fever fatigue, muscle pain, headache and sore throat. Attempt to cure these of course, will result in pus of blood appearing on the victim crotch and private part. Left alone, the sympton will nonetheless appear after two weeks and continue to worsen.Intercourse will be painful, as if the infectee privated are being press against an sheet of needles, peeing or ejaculating will be even more extremely unbearable to the point that they''ll be afraid of doing it. It should feel like having salt on open wound then dipped in an acid bath. Now the best part, overtime of course, the crotch area will started to rot, skin will blister and falling off, revealing the fleshy muscle.Healing will solve that problem but they will be bombard with intense pain that will increase the more it''s being heal while leaving the affected area to rot will deliver a pleasurable sensation. Talk about the cure being worse than the sickness. Hahahahaha. I think the hero are going to have so much fun that he''ll have no choice but try and seal me to undo his curse. I think I''m going to have my assassin reveal her identity and the solution to the hero pain after maybe two or three weeks of suffering for the hero of course. ..................... ....................... ...................... ...................... Dear Diary It''s been three weeks since the Hero has gotten infected, and somehow he manage to infect nearly half the Kingdom''s men, probably because of the women he slept with that infected the men....strangely, my infectious curse disease did not harm any of the women or children under the age of fifteen, it is a strange occurance. Still.....with so many victim, and of course the revelation of my assassin, the Hero has set off on the journey to seal me....Oh yeah, I can feel the vaction coming up! In order to bait the hero, I had my assassin given the Hero a sort of an temporary antidote for his ''problem'' and certainly it did give him a nice reason to visit me.Ooooh, I got a grand welcoming ceremony for this useless hero. I even got really nice speech prepared for that occasion too. The King, the Nobles, the General, and the even the soldiers are infected with my disease and Oh Man....it was such a good sight with my Spying Eyeballs. I think I might have outdone myself in the past two hundred years. No where near my friend, Ujuktamak of course, the one that got a suicide squad go after him. Uggh....I do wish they made a suicide squad just for me, that''ll be something ain''t it? In the meantime, I think I''m going to go for a swim in the lava lake....my back''s sore from all the damn sitting lording the mongrel of minions I got. Pathetic excuse of demon they are. Honestly I rather have more stronger demons, but considering the type of Hero I gotta deal with, weakling would made for a much better bait. Once the hero ''seal'' me, I got a big nice surprise for him. I manage to get my hand on a few thousand of Grenpyre barrels from one of the Dwarven armory my army raided a few days ago. Now these Grenpyre is a flammable liquid which is created and controlled by the Dwarven Alchemists, mad little bastard they are.I guess it''s because they''re so damn short.Grenpyre is a highly volatile material; when ignited, it can explode with tremendous force and the resulting fire burns so hot that water cannot extinguish it. Only by smothering the flames with large quantities of sand can they be put out. Grenpyre is identifiable by the distinctive purple hue of its flames and a bright purple color in its liquid state. Some refer to it as "Hell Aluure", while in the lowest of thugs and lowlife it is derisively referred to as "God''s piss". As it ages, the Grenpyre becomes even more potent. Single bottle after five years property kept in a cool space to age, the size of a man''s hand would be enough to blow up an entire castle.Damn....I got me over a thousand barrels of the stuff, some been ages for over twenty years. TWENTY FREAKING LONG YEARS! CAN YOU IMAGINE THE EXPLOSION!! IT''LL WIPE OUT HALF THE CONTINENT!!! Gotta give Gren Waynest the credit though, if that stubby short Dwarven bastard didn''t get dumped by his wife to an elf, we would never have Grenpyre. 4 Demon Lord Aktek Jeeuk We dream because we are awake. We seek because we are not alone. We fall because we fly. The words carried upon the ocean breeze As I sank beneath the tide. We make demands because we have nothing. We pray because it won''t come true. Why.....? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dearest Love How are you, my dearest love?How about you, Neyugn Oaht? It''s has been so long since I last saw your face.It has been so long since I last catch a sniff at your lovely scent. I''m sorry, my love, I am so very sorry for what I had done and I''m in deepest and most sorrowful of remorse in losing you. Perhaps one day this letter will reach you, and by that time, I would be gone. Slain by the heroes of time, dust to dust and ashes to ashes. My love, once in while I slept and dreamt. I dreamt that your words were only lies and that you would have me again, and then I awoke in the dark of night only to realize it was all a dream. I remember our first meeting, there you were, an etheral ephemeral beauty in the summer night.I fell in love at first sight, and your eyes, my love, your eyes were shining like jewels set against the endless continuing tedium of life.And so, in my delirium of love, my downfall begin.I asked you out for lunch the next week, and you accepted. Oh how happy I was, how joyful, I took you to a restaurant in the city but you would rather go for the street vendor and it was then that I found your favorite food.You love the taste of Fried Ockupu, a tasty treat of chewy texture and salty flavor.I thought those day would always last. For years that went by, be it rain, wind, or sleet of snow, I endure all to fulfill your appetites for Fried Ockupu.I went to the stall on windy days, I went to their restaurant on heavy rain days, and even as the sun set on the coldest of days, I go and buy the ingredient raw to make you your lunches of Fried Ockupu.Oh how happy was I, how happy was I to make you food just to see your smile.Your lovely smile that just seem to brighten and lift away all my sorrow and troubles. Perhaps that was the begin of my end. My lovely, My beautiful, My eternal pain, My dearest Neyugn Oaht. I was reborn the moment I met you. Just once more, I want to feel your lovely hands grasping my own. My heart yearns to gently caress your fingers, so soft and so delicate, one by one. If I know not my place, if my wish is naught but a fantasy, allow me, at least to gaze upon your smile and eyes. Hidden by such an impossibly thin shroud, its modestly but a veil for its ever deeper passions. I can almost feel your soft flesh, ready to burst forth from the skintight nylon chains constricting it, like ribbon to the most luxurious, sensual and smooth Elven honey. My love, I love you so much, I love you deeply that even after so long.In this place, in this dark and dreadful land, awaiting for my demise to come, I still remember you. How I wish I could take back what I had done, how I deeply wish that I could have you in my arms again. How I wish to have the night to ourselves upon the balcony once upon a time, dancing and prancing among the glittering stars of diamonds embedded in shadowy silk. My dearest love, if I could dance with you again. I would not mind for you to forget about me. I would not care if it is my last memory to be with you. Lock me in dark box and throw away the key, scoff at me, scorned at me, think of me as pitiful creature that surrender himself to love. I would not mind if I can have one last dance with you. I will not forget, I will never forget the twinkling of your eyes, I will never forget the fire of passions in your eyes like that of paper lanterns floating on the dark river of summer night.I will not forget the feeling I have when I was with you, like that of paper lanterns rising into the festival night sky. You will always be there in my mind''s treasure box with all those precious memories. I have always dream about making a living with my studies, to grasp the power of the world and bend it to my will. Every morning, I would walk to the academy. The morning were still dark in the winter, and the sun would only be rising on my way home. I always took a longer path so I could watch the sun rise over the ocean as I walked, even though it was freezing cold. Now that I think about it, even though it is already too late, I wonder if whether we might have look at the same sun dawning over the ocean once. When I was with you, my dearest love, my lovely Neyugn Oaht, I feel myself wanting you. I feel myself wanting to worship you, to cherish you, to protect you, and perhaps. When the truth came, I was in disbelief, and I was face with the terrible reality that you thought nothing of me, nothing but a convenience, just a foolish chump who you don''t think much at all. My dearest cruel love, you have broken me. You have shattered my soul, my heart in all direction. In my despair, in my anger, in my fury and sorrow, I furiously searched for the form of the thing I could call "myself." In the absence of the Spirits, other voices whispered. I listened to the shadowand from them; I received my ascension; my awakening; for they had come to me to deliver a gift.In return I was to be their messenger of fury.I was reborn, a creature of born of hatred and despair.However, no matter how much suffering I wrought, no matter how many kingdoms I brought to their knees, I still could not fill the emptiness of my heart. My love, you have broken me, and in that I thank you. Perhaps it was fate all along. We are naught but puppets on the strings of destiny. For now as I wait upon my throne of black rocks, and countless skulls of men waiting for you. My dearest love, now you are on your way, a Hero admired by all, ready to slay me.... Come.....my dearest, Come.....My greatest regret Come.....my torturer, my despair..... Come.....my lovely Neyugn Oaht For our dance await! 5 Of Human and Demon I It has turned out fortunate for me today that destiny appointed the little town of Urkuo to be my birthplace. For that little town is situated just on the frontier between those two half of the kingdom the reunion of which seems, at least to us of the younger generation, a task to which we should devote our lives and in the pursuit of which every possible means should be employed. Perhaps that was destiny and all, for are we not mere pawns in the game of fate and destiny? The plough is then the sword; and the tears of war will produce the daily bread for the generations to come. And so this little frontier town appeared to me as the symbol of a great task. But in another regard also it points to a lesson that is applicable to our day. Over a hundred years ago this sequestered spot was the scene of a tragic calamity which affected the whole kingdom and will be remembered for ever, at least in the annals of history. At the time, though I did not realize the importance of my birthplace, for if I had known, my world would never have gone down in flame as it did. My father was a civil servant who fulfilled his duties very conscientiously, an Earth Mage in the task of building the town housing and surrounding development. My mother looked after the household and lovingly devoted herself to the care of her children. From that period I have not retained very much in my memory; because after a few years my father had to leave that frontier town which I had come to love so much and take up a new post farther down the Inn valley, at Gausa, therefore actually inthe originating Kingdom itself. It was at this period that I first began to have ideals of my own. I spent a good deal of time scampering about in the open, on the long road from school, and mixing up with some of the roughest of the boys, which caused my mother many anxious moments. All this tended to make me something quite the reverse of a stay-at-home. I gave scarcely any serious thought to the question of choosing a vocation in life; but I was certainly quite out of sympathy with the kind of career which my father had followed. I think that an inborn talent for speaking now began to develop and take shape during the more or less strenuous arguments which I used to have with my comrades. I had become a juvenile ringleader who learned well and easily at school but was rather difficult to manage. In my freetime I practised singing in the choir of the monastery church at Urkuo, and thus it happened that I was placed in a very favourable position to be emotionally impressed again and again by the magnificent splendour of ecclesiastical ceremonial. What could be more natural for me than to look upon the Abbot as representing the highest human ideal worth striving for, just as the position of the humble village priest had appeared to my father in his own boyhood days? At least, that was my idea for a while. But the juvenile disputes I had with my father did not lead him to appreciate his son''s oratorical gifts in such a way as to see in them a favourable promise for such a career, and so he naturally could not understand the ideas I had in my head at that time. This contradiction in my character made him feel somewhat anxious. Life is Harsh, it is cruel and it is most unkind. In my ideal of a peaceful world, to have happiness is to have other put in place, but no it should never be weak human, because weak human are cruel and mad with greed when they are put atop a pedestal. No.....they would never be able to shoulder the burden of keeping the world at peace. Browsing through my father''s books, I chanced to come across some publications that dealt with military subjects. One of these publications was a popular history of the Demonic Continent. These became my favourite reading. In a little while that great and heroic conflict began to take first place in my mind. And from that time onwards I became more and more enthusiastic about everything that was in any way connected with war or military affairs. But this story of the Demonic-Human War had a special significance for me on other grounds also. For the first time, and as yet only in quite a vague way, the question began to present itself: Is there a difference - and if there be, what is it - between the Human who fought that war and the other? Are we not all the same inhabitants that live in this world? Do we not all belong together? That was the first time that this problem began to agitate my small brain. And from the replies that were given to the questions which I asked very tentatively, I was forced to accept the fact, though with a secret envy, that not all intelligent living creature had the good luck to belong to a single community. This was something that I could not understand. It was decided that I should study. Considering my character as a whole, and especially my temperament, my father had decided that idea that his son also should become an official of the Government just like he was. Indeed he had decided on that career for me. The difficulties through which he had to struggle in making his own career led him to overestimate what he had achieved, because this was exclusively the result of his own indefatigable industry and energy. The characteristic pride of the self-made man urged him towards the idea that his son should follow the same calling and if possible rise to a higher position in it. Moreover, this idea was strengthened by the consideration that the results of his own life''s industry had placed him in a position to facilitate his son''s advancement in the same career. He was simply incapable of imagining that I might reject what had meant everything in life to him. My father''s decision was simple, definite, clear and, in his eyes, it was something to be taken for granted. A man of such a nature who had become an autocrat by reason of his own hard struggle for existence, could not think of allowing ''inexperienced'' and irresponsible young fellows to choose their own careers. To act in such a way, where the future of his own son was concerned, would have been a grave and reprehensible weakness in the exercise of parental authority and responsibility, something utterly incompatible with his characteristic sense of duty. And yet it had to be otherwise. For the first time in my life - I was then thirteen years old - I felt myself forced into open opposition. No matter how hard and determined my father might be about putting his own plans and opinions into action, his son was no less obstinate in refusing to accept ideas on which he set little or no value. I would not become a servant, begging for scraps from the table of those above me. I will not beg. I will not have my destiny be blocked by those I deem unworthy of their position. One can imagine what kind of thoughts such a prospect awakened in the mind of a young fellow who was by no means what is called a ''good boy'' in the current sense of that term. The ridiculously easy school tasks which we were given made it possible for me to spend far more time in the open air than at home. I thank the heaven that I can look back to those happy days and find the memory of them helpful. The fields and the woods were then the terrain on which all disputes were fought out. Even attendance at the choir could not alter my way of spending my time. But I had now another battle to fight. 6 Of Human and Demon II So long as the paternal plan to make a State servant functionary contradicted my own inclinations only in the abstract, the conflict was easy to bear. I could be discreet about expressing my personal views and thus avoid constantly recurrent disputes. My own resolution not to become a official servant was sufficient for the time being to put my mind completely at rest. I held on to that resolution inexorably. But the situation became more difficult once I had a positive plan of my own which I might present to my father as a counter-suggestion. This happened when I was fourteen years old. How it came about I cannot exactly say now; but one day it became clear to me that I cannot relied upon anyone to help me in my plight. I can only relied upon my own self if I seek to be more, more than what''s being planned for me. When I look back over so many years and try to judge the results of that experience I find two very significant facts standing out clearly before my mind. First, Strength is everything, you can have ideals, you can have belief, you can even have wealth and lands as far as the eyes can see but in the face of overwhelming strength it allbecome pointless. Second, I learned to understand and grasp the true meaning of history.That history is only written from and for those who won. It is never true. The purpose of teaching history is not the memorizing of some dates and facts, that the student is not interested in knowing the exact date of a battle or the birthday of some marshal or other, and not at all - or at least only very insignificantly - interested in knowing when the crown of his fathers was placed on the brow of some monarch. These are certainly not looked upon as important matters. To study history means to search for and discover the forces that are the causes of those results which appear before our eyes as historical events. The art of reading and studying consists in remembering the essentials and forgetting what is not essential. Suffice it to say here that in the very early years of my youth I came to certain conclusions which I have never abandoned. Indeed I became more profoundly convinced of them as the years passed. They were: That the dissolution of the Human Empire is a preliminary condition for the defence of all intelligent living being; further, that national feeling is by no means identical with dynastic patriotism; finally, and above all, that the aristocracy that the weak have build up as a way to control the masses was destined to bring misfortune to the World. All this helped to intensify my profound aversion for the career that my father had chosen for me; and this dislike became especially strong as the rough corners of youthful boorishness became worn off, a process which in my case caused a good deal of pain. I became more and more convinced that I should never be happy as an official for the aristocracy. I wanted to become a leader and no power in the world could force me to become a servant. The only peculiar feature of the situation now was that as I grew bigger I became more and more interested in magical arts and ancient history. When I was in my fifteenth year my father was suddenly taken from us. He was still in robust health when a stroke of apoplexy painlessly ended his earthly wanderings and left us all deeply bereaved. His most ardent longing was to be able to help his son to advance in a career and thus save me from the harsh ordeal that he himself had to go through. But it appeared to him then as if that longing were all in vain. And yet, though he himself was not conscious of it, he had sown the seeds of a future which neither of us foresaw at that time. At first nothing changed outwardly. My mother felt it her duty to continue my education in accordance with my father''s wishes, which meant that she would have me study for the civil service. For my mother''s sake, I conceded and put my all into doing as she wanted. Two years later my mother''s death put a brutal end to all my fine projects. She succumbed to a long and painful illness which from the very beginning permitted little hope of recovery. Though expected, her death came as a terrible blow to me. I respected my father, but I loved my mother. Poverty and stern reality forced me to decide promptly. The meagre resources of the family had been almost entirely used up through my mother''s severe illness. The allowance which came to me as an orphan was not enough for the bare necessities of life. Somehow or other I would have to earn my own bread. With my clothes and linen packed in a valise and with an indomitable resolution in my heart, I left for the Demonic Continent. I hoped to forestall fate, as my father had done fifty years before. I was determined to become ''something'' - but certainly not a civil servant." 7 Of Human and Demon III For many people the name of Aqusita signifies innocent jollity, a festive place for happy mortals and essentially a port townof beginning for those happy few that wishes to travel the world. For me, alas, it is a living memory of the saddest period in my life. Even to-day the mention of that city arouses only gloomy thoughts in my mind. Five years of poverty in that town. Five years in which, first as a casual labourer and then as an mercenary of little trifles, I had to earn my daily bread. And a meagre morsel indeed it was, not even sufficient to still the hunger which I constantly felt. That hunger was the faithful guardian which never left me but took part in everything I did. It is a hunger for power, but like many others I lacked resources to envision my throne. During those years a view of life and a definite outlook on the world took shape in my mind. These became the granite basis of my conduct at that time. There is something repulsive in remembering the cultural indigence of that lower class and their rough manners with one another; so that people who are only on the first rung of the social ladder find it unbearable to be forced to have any contact with the cultural level and standard of living out of which they have passed. This was the view of the bourgeois class, whose ideal vision of a man of respected standing was how deep his pocket is, or how well bred is his bloodline. Fools, they are all, it was a pitiful sight. Oh it is a tragedy how human have fallen so low, from once mighty race that rule the continent through blood, sweat and cold steel to a species with a few arrogant flimsy mongrels ruling over everyone else only because they were borne of the ''noble'' bloodlines. Yet unlike the masses that which toiled in the mud, hardened by the harsh weather, toughen by the dangers of the everyday life, these pitiful bourgeois that claim themselves to be superior are no more freer than a bird in a cage. Their choices are chosen for them by those above them, their position and ranking are decided by their peer and not by their own merits. I will correct this mistake.... In some several books that which I have carried with me from my home, one of the books have a saying from the Demonic Continent; "Istih Rhaio jkkgyul uul Gailn" Roughly translated in the Imperial''s language meant; "if you do not stake your life, You will never win life for yourself." "If we consider the question of what those forces actually are which are necessary to the creation and preservation of the World, we shall find that they are: The capacity and willingness to sacrifice the individual to the common welfare. That these qualities have nothing at all to do with wealth or markets can be proved by referring to the simple fact that an individual does not sacrifice themselves for material interests. In other words, they will die for an ideal but not for a business. The marvellous gift for psychology which the Ancient Kingdom of Uootal have was never shown better than the way in which they presented their case in the fame War Against the Four Kingdom alliance. The Four Kingdom were fighting for their nobles and lords ; but the Uootal declared that they were fighting for ''freedom'', and not at all for their own freedom. Oh, no, but for the freedom of all. Even though the Four Alliance have hundred times the manpower, the supplies and the arms Uootal have.Uootalians with their declaration of Freedom lasted them over nearly 30 years against the Four Alliance. Races of different origin, ancient sages and mages of powerful magic, all flocked to their defense in the name of ''Freedom.'' Unfortunately, in the face of the might before them, Uootal eventually fell due to internal affairs, and the Four Alliance took over with the chance but left Uootal''s land almost untouched. The Four Alliance won the battle but lost the war, they have victory but no spoils of war, not even a single slaves nor gold. There is not much to know about that, as its records had been wiped clean from the annals of history. It is a rather human thing to do, to be so much a sore loser that they had to try to cover up their own failures than to learn from it. 8 The End is the beginning of the end I Am BLESSED!!! No, perhaps that is a little too egoistical even for my esteem humble self. However, surely there can no other words to describe my genius esteem self, whose own gorgeous visage and awesome luck are so greatly loved by Lady Fate and the God of Destiny that I am here on the pedestal of power. Who knew? Who could possibly have known that I would have a wonderful, unrivaled talent for necromancy? Admittedly, I was rather naive when it comes to certain things.''tis one of the reasons I was enslaved on the port of Aqusita. That was not one the many experience that I would prefer to revisit. There I was, in the bowel of stinking slave ship. Its black woods crusted with barnacles, its holding filled to the brim with slaves whose vomit and excrement slather upon the floor. My captors are certainly no better sight for the eyes, some of them even smelled worse than the sewer. The journey was not a pleasant experience considering the cruelty of the crew upon their ''merchandise,'' sometimes at night I dream of killing and torturing my captors for their crimes in the most exquisite painful ways imaginable. The Merry Gulls'' crew was most cruel to the slaves, and when one faced such cruelty, survival instinct takes over and the mind simply adapted to the situation. It was not a pleasant experience, but it was nonetheless a well learned one. I learned of my weakness as a human being, I learned well that even though I am destined for greatness, I must know suffering before I can grasp the power to rule over all. Sometimes a female slave''s just not up to the task of putting on a show for the crew, so instead the crew strap her up against a bulkhead leading to the latrine, and anyone passing by can get their rocks off by enjoying a good old fashion facef***ing. After a while, these unfortunate slaves stop resisting and tried to give the cruel bastards a show. The men fared no better, stacked in like sardine in a box, and sometimes only some few are allow out as dog on leash and crawling on all four while being led by some of the crew member. They could get castrated, or simply kicked to death. The evil deeds of the Merry Gulls'' crew doesn''t stop there either. One slave in particular, Ibeb, was more strong wills than most and refuse to back down. She and five others was able to overcome our captors, killing more than seven of those wretched bastard until the sheer number of them manage to hold her down. That day, we slaves cheered for the demise of our evil captors, but at the same time we mourned for our comrades. In our stank, dark, cold cells, we watch as those savage mongrel ravage Ibeb. When they were done, she was thrown into a cell all on her own. Ibeb lay in her cell, her plumb, swollen body sprawled across the damp wood floor. After weeks of constant abuse as a unwilling c*m d*mster she was bruised and stretched, every orifice violated by the savage crew. Her p**sy and ****ole were raw and swollen, permanently stretched and gaping. Her breast had grown enormous, pumped full of drugs, huge and round mounds of meat quivering on top of her body with each shuddering, unconscious breath.It was hard to tell if she''d still able to stand or walk with such hugely massive breasts, if she could still stand at all.She had been too weak to do anything but moan and shudder as she was used over and over by the eager crew, nothing but a disposable ***k flesh for their insatiable sexual appetites. I''ll admit that among the hot, humid condition in the hull of that wretched curse ship, even as slaves suffer we still could not hold back on our own primal desires.I think that if it wasn''t for the metal bars of her cell, Ibeb would not only be assaulted by the crew but also by her fellow slaves until she was dead. The following days fare no better, when Ibeb could still speak in complete sentences she had begged for more, begged to be r***ed.As a form of amusing entertainment, the cruel Captain Fairgray decided to throw Ibeb to the rest of the male slaves, whose stress and primal desires were at their peak.For two, maybe three weeks following by, Ibeb could only moan and scream out simple words, and now it wasn''t clear if she could even still speak at all. Her stomach had swollen as well, her belly and intestine packed full of liters of hot, gooey semen from dozens of breeders.She moaned weakly as she slept, drool leaking from bloated stuffed lips. Her mouth had been used so often that even in her sleep she sucked greedily at imagine cocks.She had been used so hard that her mind had completely shattered, disintegrating into a nearly brain-dead state and none of the breeders care enough to see if she was anything more than hot fleshy receptacleto be pumped full of semen for relieving their lust. Perhaps in a way, that was a blessing, at least she did not entirely suffer in pain. The Merry Gulls continue on its journey with its crew of fifteen, ten less from the slaves uprising. Its hull filled to the brim with over two hundred slaves in chains and shackles. Along the way, Fairgray decided to ''lighten'' his load, thus over forty of us was sent to the water, chains and all. As the slaves despair over their fate, and I lament over my lack of power, the heaven provide its blessing in a storm. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rhylla of Kinderfrk You have transgressed against your God and your fellow Man. You have been a willing vessel for the following Transgressions: Operating a House of ill repute without a License. Three counts of Unauthorized Political Satire Six counts of Blasphemy One count of Inciting Public Unrest Performing in Public without a License Eight counts of Publicly promoting Unlawful and Lecherous Practices Two counts of Blackmailing a Church Official Two counts of Directing an establishment of Ill Repute Six counts of Prostitution involving Unholy and Degrading Acts Enticing Citizens into conduct of a Wanton and Depraved nature ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The grainy taste of the sand in my mouth woke me up and I was greeted by the an ugly mug I have seen once too many time, but nonetheless it was welcoming ugly mug. The man before me held up and chain that is connected to the shackle on my left wrist. He spoke in a grumpily tone but there were hint of glad in his voice. "Bastards dumped near three dozen of us off that ship. You and me, we''re all that survived the swim. Never was much difference between slaves and the death sentence. Once I catch my breath here we''ll take a look around. See what this place has on offer. Thought I saw smoke at those ruins up the beach. Could be worth checking if there''s-!!!" Just as my fellow slave begin to talk, his head immediately set ablaze like a match in the darkness. I puked out the sea water as my sense begin to dull and before I blackout, I saw a woman walk toward me and spoke. "This one''ll do." 10 Demon possibly Lord Natitibeb I will not tell a lie, I like human, for all their faults and for all their glories, I truly like human. There''s so many thing that I like about human, but most of it is because of how they taste. I like their stringy and meaty flesh, that creamy chunky texture of the cerebral cortex, and oh the eyeballs, those hard and creamy center eyeballs that just goes down your throat smoothly. Best of all, this I must admit, is liver. Admiteddly the liver can be considered rather unclean but once you washed it throughoutly and make it into pate, it actually go pretty damn well with just about anything. First, you need to grind the some muscles, preferably young one about 18 to 25 year of age, using a meat grinder. Place in a container with Mead or your preferred alcoholic substance, garlic, parsley, onion, ginger, clove, cinnamon, nutmeg. Add your preferred diced livers and blend a cupful at a time. Season with salt and pepper. Mix the ground flesh with the blended liver. After that layer a clean dish with flat strip of flesh and pate mixture: Line with strips of flesh, fill with mixture, and cover with again with the human flesh bacon. It is important to bake uncovered in a oven with a moderate temperature, 350 degrees F, for about 2 hours. Then cool the pate under a weight so that it will become firm and fine-textured. To do this, lay a piece of cloth over the pat¨¦ and set on top of the entire surface a board weighted with a heavy object and voila. After four or so hour, you have a delicious creamy human liver pate. Humanity have many faults and flaws within them. They are greedy, spiteful, and envious of other. Yet they tend to be confused when other that''s not them is doing the same thing they did. Regardless, for all their faults and flaws, they do however taste peculiarly tasty. The one good thing about the human species are that they breed too much. There''s just no end to them, an elven couple in an elven community produce one to two offspring once every twenty years, whether a human couple in an human community could easily make three to seven offspring in that same amount of time. I guess in that sense, I probably wouldn''t be running out of delectable treats for a while. I''ll tell you a secret, I''m not of this world, truly. No, you see.....I belong to another world, one that is very different from this current one. In my world, there exist a species known as Zombie, not the dead corpse raised up by some dumb newbie necromancers, but an artificial type of zombies that was made by accident in pursuit of narcotic high. There was this drug dealer, a drug dealer is an individual who sells drugs, of any type or quantity, illegally. They can be small-time dealers who sell small quantities to offset the costs of their own drug use, or they can be highly organized groups and businessmen within high-organized operations that run like a serious business. This particular drug dealer was one of the latter, a chemist within a organize crime family. He make drugs for them to sell and do experiment on his free time to pursue an even greater feeling of drug high. This nameless chemist eventually discovered by accident a compound mixture that turn the consumer into flesh eating monster, but somehow, should the infected consume human brain matters, they would retain their sanity and be able to control their aggressive and hungering instinct for a time. My name, hahaha...name are an important thing in this world, name has magic in them, and I be damned to let someone be in control of my soul. So let just call me Natitibeb for anonymous purpose. I was a slacker, hell, all I ever want to do was to sleep and laze around all day in my underpants. I move though life like a leaf on the water, going whether the breeze take me. One day, a friend of mine got me to this boat party on a lake. Naturally of course, I refused but under the continuous insistence of my pal, I went to the party. What happen next you ask? The party was a blast, one moment I''m drinking beer by the barrel and stuffing my face in the softest biggest pair of tits I ever seen, the next I''m having a half naked chick riding my rod on top of me trying to rip my face off. There were screaming everywhere, smokes, fires, and what I think was a boat exploding. Last thing I remember was a flag pole hurling at me and my last thought were "frack! I never finish that blunts." The next thing happen was that I eventually woke up in a stuffy body bag scaring the piss outta some dude in medical uniform. They thought I was dead, heck there was even a toe card that said [Deceased] attached to my toe. I was alive but strangely hungry, terribly hungry. 11 How to Prepare your Human! Hunting Human is one of my favorite pastime. If anything it''s the only way for me to acquire my weekly meal. Before you do anything to your human, make sure it is dead. You may think it is dead, but there are plenty of stories out there about hunters who thought their human was dead, only to have it pop up and go berserk; in some cases, causing injury, or even death to the hunter. Worse yet, you even might have them escape and return with a group to hunt your own ass down. Of course, not that any of us Zombie type would be dumb enough to do that and still be walking about. This is a second critical step in the process. Field dressing should be done immediately after killing the human. Make sure to carry a sturdy, sharp knife (or even two) with you to make sure you can do the job quickly and precisely. One of the most important points to focus on in field dressing a human is to avoid puncturing any of its organs. If you do puncture an organ, it can result in a tainting of the meat and adversely affect the flavor. Remove the internal organs and as much of the windpipe as is possible. During this process, try to minimize any dirt or hair getting inside the human. In case of having to abandon it midway to your freezer. It''s practically a wasteful action in any case, a hunter that must do that is no hunter and should obviously be put down as soon as possible. Ideally the best way to transport a human is to lift it directly onto a trailer and drive it to your destination. However, often this is not possible due to the terrain or location. In many cases, hunters must drag their human out of the woods or field. If you must drag your human out of the woods it is best to lay it on a tarp to avoid contact with the ground, a tarp up kill also make less of a noise when being seen. Whatever you can do to minimize the amount of dirt and debris that gets inside the human, during transport, will be a benefit to you in the process. Once the human is transported to your destination, you should immediately hang it, so it is not touching the ground. Some hunters prefer to hang it head up, while others prefer to hang it head down. The key is to hang it, because this lets remaining blood drain out of the body. Once the human is hung, take a saw ¡ª preferably a hack saw ¡ª and cut through the it''s ribs. Then take a piece of wood or other object and pry it into the cavity to open it and keep it open. You also want to get the hide off the kill as quickly as possible, because their hide is an insulator, also quite oily as the decomposition process begin. With the hide, hair, and skin removed, the meat will cool more rapidly. At this point, some hunters like to rinse their kills with water. While this does remove debris and cools the meat more quickly, moisture can also accelerate the work of microorganisms and increase the chances of spoiling the meat. To be safe, you can delay the rinsing process until later. If you do rinse it right away, make sure to blot as much moisture as possible from corpse to reduce the chances of spoilage. I cannot stress this point enough; rotten meat would give you quite literally explosive diarrhea. To be clear, a Zombie like me would have absolutely no problem taking on dozens of bullets, or dozens of knives. It hurt but not that much pain once I have me some gooey mushy brain. Those wounds will just heal up like they never were there at all. However, internal pain are a serious problem, and explosive diarrhea is one of those, to be utterly honest, with our kind internal biology, the pain we get from diarrhea is can only describe by a single word as "Hell." Now, let''s return to the topic at hand. How long you hang your kill depends heavily on the air temperature. If the temperature is below 40 degrees you can age your meat longer, up to a week. Temperatures above 40 degrees will accelerate the spoiling process. In warmer temps, keep the aging process to a few days. Once your meat is aged you can begin cutting and processing the meat, whether you do this yourself or bring it to a professional. If you are doing the job yourself, have a good plan for how you are going to use the meat and do the job in a clean environment to avoid contamination. Meat should be put in the freezer immediately, unless it is going to be used right away. 12 Demon possibly Lord Nitatibeb II Where was I? Oh yes, I was talking about my origin. I must confess, all these little human running around can be so appetite teaser. I can never seem to have enough of these little walking morsel. I can understand why the vampires value human blood so greatly, they are delectable little treat aren''t they. .....it seem as though it''s just been yesterday that I was a human in rags seeking and begging for spare change to acquire the next high. In my drug addled mindset, I wandered far and wide in search of more drug to starve off my agony. Until that one moment where I found myself tumbling and fighting for my life as some strange man was trying to eat me on a boat party. Perhaps that when my life had change course for the some part better at least. I was stronger, I was somewhat more durable than your average human. It was then that I truly felt alive than when I was "alive." Various incidents happen from then on, until the human government finally discovered my kind and cordon us within a city where we were mostly starved and begging for scrap from the more established members of zombiekind. So, there I was, starving and begging for scrap. Back to the alley of my begining, digging through trash pile for a morsel of scrap. It was then that I felt a force pulling me and hurling me around and around and around. I eventually found myself in grand palace, with some human looking at me like some insect and to this day I can still remember their words most fondly "He''ll do." Oh yes, He will do indeed! and Indeed I do. Before I knew it, I had helped myself to the delicious buffet before me. Admitedly the knights was little hard on the teeth but a few punches to their helmet and that delicious gray matter just ooze out ready to be slurped, like crabs. One of them was rather hard to down, but once I figure it probably don''t matter where I hit them, it was a cinch to deal with these walking soup cans. Just hit them where their armor doesn''t protect, or no armor there. I must admit, stripping these soup cans of their covering was not an easy matter, but it can be done. I didn''t kill them immediately of course, because killing them immediately would undoubtly spoil the flavor, dead flesh doesn''t have a good taste fresh flesh. Instead after I manage to dis"armed" a few of them, I went for the rather weak looking ones in the background. The weak looking ones were mages and as for the mage, terribly weak but have a rather nice fatty crunchy taste to them, although their scream was very annoying. Oh, and those fireball and spell that they were casting, they had to chant, which gave me plenty of times attack them. You know the secret to beating a mage? It''s quite simple, just go for the throat or the eyes first, if they can''t speak, they can''t cast their little spells. After eaten maybe four.....no.....seven....no six, six people because I left one as an after snack. I''m a lot things but I''m not that much of a gluttony. So, from my interaction with my "snack" I eventually learn about this new world that I was summoned to, and of course you can guess my excitement. I was happy, I was terribly, terribly overjoyed. You see, I am in a world where the law belong to the strong, and was I strong? Hell yes I was! All in all, it was a very enjoyable buffet, especially when I saw the look on the face of that one knight when I was digging in his female companion''s brain, it was hilarious. Perhaps the sight of me feasting on his comrades made my snack quite a lot more cooperating, which was a good thing of course. Now let''s talk about one of my favorite dishes. Brain Shot! Now that''s a food with a kick! First we take some brain, diced it up into little cubes. Find a shot glass, well.....or as close to a shot glass cup as you can, this world is terribly behind the times even though they had teleportation magic, they still don''t have any decent alcohol but one simply had to improvise in this trying time. So, I had some woodcrafter made me these tiny little wooden cup which was useful for my recipe. Shuck the diced brain and add to a shot glass. Top with the Spicy Cocktail Sauce, add some horseradish, lemon juice, black pepper and pepper vodka. Stir together and shoot down your mouth! Incidentally, can you believe how expensive black pepper are? They were selling it for 15 gold an ounce, an ounce! An average man on this world survive with less than 10 silver a month. A gold coin are equal to 60 silver. However that''s nothing compare to the vodka, that one I had to trek all the way to Gabilgathol, the city of the Dwarves to acquire it. It seem that only human are primitive barbarians in this world whether other races seem more advance and enlighten that rest of these bozos. I used to hate human you see, I utterly despise the species known as human. They so quick to criticize, so quick to judge without understand what someone else is going through. I despise myself because I am human as well. They keep on bothering me, they keep criticize me, complain about me, "oh how sorry his parent must have felt that he turn out to be such a failure." To end it all, to keep the guilt and the criticism at bay, I turn to drug. Oh what bliss, what wonderful bliss, to not give a Fuck to what anyone said, to not care about what they think of me...and for a time it was good. 13 Curry! You know what I missed about living on Earth? Curry! It''s pretty hard to beat the comfort and satisfaction that you get from eating a bowl of curry on a cold night, especially when the meat is deeply crisped and tender, the rice is piping hot, and the sauce is well-spiced. Problem is, spices are a luxury here, it''s not easy to acquire spices unless you''re willing to travel 5,000 km to the kingdom of Ulktaja, The capital of Spices. For a human, the trip can be pretty horrendous, if not downright torturous, providing you manage to escape the bandits and the magic beasts. Ulktaja doesn''t have much of a port, why they don''t have sea port is beyond me. This particular speck of land is smackdab in the middle of two kingdom. On the east is the kingdom of Yulfula, whose mastery over magical beasts are well known. On the west of Ulktaja is Brukujis, the Mercenary kingdom, famous for its millitary might, and for a small price that might can your for the asking. I like Brukujis, nothing is more human than human from Brukujis, at least compare to the rest of humanity. Now they''re the lot that know exactly what they want and doesn''t give a crap what other people think about their life choices. On the other hand, Yulfula....now those little arrogant ass, with their control over magical beast seem to think this world belong to them or something. Never met with an Yulfulan that doesn''t have a face that look like someone just step on poo. They don''t even shake hands with other people, so rude. At least they''re have a clean and healthy body compare to Brukan. Eating a Brukan from Brukujis is like rolling a dice, with the odd usually against you. If you''re unlucky, a Brukan can be comparable to that of eating a raw rat hamburger with maggots in between, then wash it down with a tankard of septic water. Ugh...never again! Dear me, I am getting off topic here, so let''s go back to the recipe eh? One good thing about Ulktaja is that, oh holy god in heaven, they do know of curry. Therefore, ooh sweet hot damn! They have coconut milk, spices of all kind, including blue spices that glow in the dark which depend on usage can also improve your sexual pleasure. Now, in order to make a delicious curry, we must be braising the meat in the coconut milk and spice mixture to allows all of the flavors to mingle ¡ª resulting in an amazingly flavorful curry. You can never go wrong with heaping amounts of white rice, or even yogurt alongside, strangely enough only those that heard of curry know about yogurt, while the rest seem to think of it as something completely inedible, but if you don''t have any of those on hand, bread can server as substitute. On a cold night, it''d be difficult to find something more fulfilling. A bowl of curry is indeed true comfort food! We begin our session by seasoning the meat generously with salt and pepper. In a large skillet over medium high heat, heat oil. Add meat and cook, flipping once, until deeply golden, 3 to 5 minutes per side. After which we transfer the delectable flesh to a plate. Add onion to skillet and cook until soft, about 5 to 6 minutes. Add some garlic, ginger, and spices and cook until fragrant for about 1 minute, which is the time it take for a small sand clock to empty the sand above. Add coconut milk and bring to a simmer. Lower heat to low, add the meat, and continue to simmer until tender that your fork would go through easily, which is about one hour and a half. Serve with yogurt, some rice and lime wedges.....mmmmhmmmmm....delicious! 14 Day 367 Breakfas Breakfast! Breakfast is an important meal of the day, without something to eat in the morning, it''s very likely that you won''t have energy throughout the whole day. That can be dangerous especially when you are running for your life from a group of religious fanatics screaming "KILL THE EVIL!" while waving swords and all sort of instrument of war. Now, normally a sword wouldn''t really do much damage, honest to god. It wouldn''t do any damage to me, but these particular weapons of these particular religious fanatics are enchanted, now THAT hurt! So, why am I running for my life you ask? Well.....because this morning I woke up feeling rather famished, and decided to get some breakfast. On hindsight, I should have just chosen an orphanage in the slum, but those are a bit unsanitary. So against my better judgement, I decided to go to the church for their unimportant attendants. The nobles on this kingdom that I am residing in tend to send their thirds or even second sons to the church, if the children refused to become a butler or working for the family. Naturally, these seconds and thirds are disposable, and only become important if the first child in their family died or suffer unfortunate accident that render them unable to manage the estate left to them by their predecessor. I was so sure that they wouldn''t missed one or maybe two of these disposable noble but look like I was rather wrong, but all is not lost I say. This is because I had managed to snatch for myself a pair of thigh, a heart and a brain for breakfast and boy....I tell you, it''s certainly worth the effort. Noble meat are the creme de la creme of humankind. They have much better texture and taste compare to the rest of the schmuck that are commoner. Let me tell you this, once you had human chops, you will never look back, they''re just that good. The best chops are usually the legs, from the thigh down. You must start by selecting the right chop, the right chops can be a world difference between a good meal and horrible meal. Choosing the right chops requires a careful examination of the label and possibly a short conversation with a butcher, or victim, depending on your sources, I usually use slave merchants for this, but my usual shop had closed down due to some internal issues, shame really, I liked the guy. What you are looking for are loins, ribs, or sirloin chops. If you get a shoulder or leg chop you''ll need to use a marinade to make it tender, but that only applied if you''re using animal or beast. Human shoulder and leg chops doesn''t require marinade for tenderness, they''re already tender by themselves. I do recommend marinade still, it enhance the flavor. The chops you choose should have a light red, finely textured meat with smooth, white fat. Marbling is not as important with human as it is with beef, but the fat on your chops should be evenly distributed. Also, the chops should be a little bit more than an inch thick. The second thing you need to do is select your flavors. Human flesh is excellent when seasoned with garlic, rosemary, thyme, oregano, savory, fennel, and mustard. Any rub, marinade, or sauce made with these will enhance the flavor of your human chops. Begin with a thin coating of olive oil and then a light sprinkling of seasonings, but you don''t need to go overboard. You don''t want to cover the flavor of the meat¡ªyou only want to add to it.Now we go into grilling, Human flesh are just like any other flesh, it''s full of fatty juices and very soft texture, therefore it''s easy for it to be ruin if you''re not careful in cooking it. Human chops should be grilled on a covered grill over medium-high heat. Ideally, you should grill them to medium-rare or medium. There are few things worse than a dried out, over-cooked human chop, so keep a close eye on them and remove the chops from the grill when you reach an internal temperature of 140 F. As always, let the meat rest for a few minutes before you serve it; in this case, five minutes will be good. That allows the juices to be absorbed back into the meat. If you cut the chops before that occurs, you will lose juices onto the plate and the chops will seem dry and oh how I hate dry chops. It practically ruined the experience. .................................................................................................. Ah, there we go. Finally lose those annoying bug. Honestly you''d think they never seen a human ripped apart before. Sheesh, I would have killed them all if it wasn''t for their enchanted weapon....maybe I should go and take some for my own. I do desperately need a new cooking knife. This one I''m using is practically falling apart.