《Love, Expired》


 Chapter 1 - Stomachache

    Chapter 1 ¨C Stomachache


    ¡°In the rainy season of the south, a lady in pink was walking. The boy in the forest picked up a stone, throwing it at her, targeting her perfectly round belly¡­¡±


    Zhou Hao again woke up in startlement from his strange dream. Looking at his phone, it was past two in the night. In a distance far from him, a man was lying there.


    The man was lying with his back facing him, his upper body bare. All he could was the defined lines of his back, and that head of shaggy black hair.


    A few hours ago, they were still on top of each other, desperately trying to bury themselves in each other. Now, it was as though a ravine was between them, desperately wishing they were eight hundred metres apart.


    ¡°Jiang Yuqian, Jiang Yuqian¡­¡± Zhou Hao leaned his body over, shouting out at him many times. His hands and mouth attacked, lighting a flame within the man¡¯s body.


    That man mumbled a few words, flipping over and pressing Zhou Hao down.


    ¡°You want to do it?¡± The man asked groggily.


    ¡°I can¡¯t sleep, so I¡¯m looking for something to do.¡±


    About half an hour later, both of them had found satisfaction from each other¡¯s body. The man pushed Zhou Hao away, walked into the bathroom, and next came the sound of running water.


    In the dark and cramped space, Zhou Hao groped for his box of cigarettes by the bed. Pulling a stick out, he placed it in his mouth and lit it.


    This was his habit, a cigarette after doing it. The smoke from the cigarette could numb his brain, helping him to temporarily forget many things, as well as the sexual acts just now.


    Not long after, the man was done with his shower. With a towel wrapped around his waist, he walked out, his hair still dripping wet. The drops of water landed on his shoulders, as well as the floor. Switching on the lights, the darkness vanished.


    The messily rumpled and dirty bed sheets, Zhou Hao¡¯s nude body, as well as that pool of whitish fluid between Zhou Hao¡¯s thighs, they all immediately entered the man¡¯s sight.


    ¡°Go and wash up in the bathroom.¡± The man knitted his brows.


    Zhou Hao smiled, stubbing his cigarette out in the ashtray. Looking up with a cock of his brow, ¡°Was it good just now?¡±


    The man ignored him, and towelled his hair.


    ¡°Jiang Yuqian,¡± Zhou Hao contemplated for a long while, before solemnly calling his name.


    The man turned back and looked at him in incomprehension.


    ¡°Tomorrow¡¯s my birthday, come over at night.¡±


    A faint ridicule flashed in that man¡¯s eyes, as though reproaching him for his transgression. ¡°Tomorrow¡¯s Monday.¡±


    The invisible contract lay between them ¡ª from Monday to Friday, the man would never come here. He would only come on weekends.


    This was a man who was way too good looking. No happiness nor anger could be seen in his unfathomable dark eyes, and no desire could be detected in them as well. The adamantine icy expression always remained fixed on that face of his, and there was never a change in it.


    A long pause, and Zhou Hao did not speak a word. He shut himself in a cage, slowly licking at his wounds. Only after he was nearly done did he smile self-mockingly, speaking indifferently, ¡°Oh, it¡¯s Monday? I almost forgot. Fine, I¡¯ll spend it alone then.¡±


    There was always a type of person who acted so arrogant and aloof, to the point where people would scorn him, but he would never easily remove that mask. He was clearly so fragile within, so lonely, and desperately yearned for someone to accompany him on his birthday, but he would never acknowledge it.


    What a coincidence, Zhou Hao was this sort of person.


    Having dried his hair, Jiang Yuqian walked over to the bed. He saw the half stick of cigarette in the ashtray, and his expression was imposing. ¡°In the future, don¡¯t smoke in the room. It stinks.¡±


    Zhou Hao blinked, speaking ruffianly, ¡°Afraid of secondhand smoke?¡±


    Jiang Yuqian was apathetic. ¡°I¡¯ll go sleep in the living room.¡±


    Zhou Hao seemed to be suddenly provoked, rushing up and blocking the door. ¡°You¡¯re not allowed to go! You¡¯re not allowed to go anywhere!¡±


    ¡°What are you getting crazy about this time?!¡±


    From his cleft, cum trickled down to his thighs and calves, like countless translucent snakes wrapping around his legs. Zhou Hao physically softened, he shifted slowly to the side, giving way.


    Jiang Yuqian too saw what was left of his ¡°harvest¡±, and his face softened as well. ¡°Go take a shower.¡±


    With such consideration, Zhou Hao¡¯s hopes rekindled a little. He hugged the man in front of him. ¡°I¡¯ll go shower now, don¡¯t go to the living room.¡±


    On this rare occasion, Zhou Hao bent his pride and gave in.


    Scuffling about, Zhou Hao first took a shower, then removed the bedsheets and dumped them in the washing machine before replacing them with a new set from his cupboard.


    Zhou Hao was extremely busy, not daring to waste even a second. He was afraid that Jiang Yuqian would go back on his word, and sleep in the living room.


    In his heart, he had already brought his birthday forward. He would take it as today, today he was celebrating his birthday.


    The two people lay on the clean sheets. Zhou Hao stared at the dark ceiling. Not finding any meaning in it, he again started staring at Jiang Yuqian¡¯s back.


    ¡°Jiang Yuqian.¡± He called out softly.


    There was no reaction from the man whose back faced him, only giving him an impassive silhouette that could barely be distinguished in the dark.


    ¡°Jiang Yuqian.¡± He repeated, this time a little louder.


    That man still gave no response.


    Zhou Hao suddenly reached out and gripped Jiang Yuqian¡¯s hair, forcibly turning him around.


    ¡°Are you crazy?!¡±


    Zhou Hao blinked, lying on the bed motionlessly. His eyes were glued eagerly to Jiang Yuqian¡¯s furious face.


    He was not going to do anything, all he wanted was for the man to say to him ¡ª


    ¡°Haohao, happy birthday.¡±

 Chapter 2 - Accompany Me to Buy Medicine

    Chapter 2 ¨C Accompany Me to Buy Medicine


    June 13, his birthday, soon arrived. It was a Monday.


    Zhou Hao did not go to the laboratory today. He prepared a bowl of noodles for himself in the morning, and added two fried eggs to it. After breakfast, he went out to buy groceries.


    There was a riverside market south of his residential area, and everyone who lived here would buy their groceries there. If he left early, the groceries he bought would also be fresher.


    Arriving at the market, the raw poultry and seafood could be smelled, and people could be heard bargaining loudly. It was noisy, pungent and messy, and this was the unchanging impression Zhou Hao had of the market.


    Jiang Yuqian had always said, ¡°You don¡¯t even blink when you swipe my card, yet you¡¯re so stingy when buying groceries. Can¡¯t you buy them at the supermarket?¡±


    Each time, Zhou Hao would glare at him, and ignore what he said.


    This person would probably never understand that the market was a completely different place from a supermarket. When bargaining at the market, Zhou Hao would feel that he was budgeting for their lives together.


    Thinking about that, he would feel that everything was worth it, and could feel the warmth in his heart.


    Because, their lives would only get better.


    Walking around the market, he bought some chicken, beef and vegetables. Returning back, he went to the bakery at the entrance of his residential area to collect the cake he had ordered yesterday.


    Reaching home, Zhou Hao put down the cake and groceries. He took out his phone and sent Jiang Yuqian a message ¡ª


    ¡°Hey. Come over. I¡¯m making curry chicken today.¡±


    Zhou Hao did not know how to be coy, and he never bothered trying. Every time he spoke to Jiang Yuqian, it sounded as though he was commanding him.


    There was no response. Zhou Hao seemed to be used to it already. The excitement he had because of his birthday had gradually faded away. Putting the groceries away, he went back to his room and lay down.


    Saving himself some trouble, he had a slice of cake for lunch, as well as a coke from the refrigerator. At night, his gastric pain recurred, and he was in immense pain. Suppressing his pain, he went downstairs to buy some medicine. Luckily, there was a pharmacy at the entrance of his residential estate.


    Before he even stepped through the gate, Zhou Hao saw two people walking side by side. He could no longer care about the rolling pain in his stomach, and his eyes gradually narrowed, staring straight at those two people¡­


    They were Jiang Yuqian and Cheng Zixu.


    Who was Cheng Zixu? This was a long story. The first time he heard this name, he had only just got to know Jiang Yuqian. There was a time when Jiang Yuqian was drunk. In his confusion, Jiang Yuqian had forcefully kissed him. Tasting nothing but alcohol, he heard this person murmuring with a red face, ¡°Xuxu¡­¡±


    He abruptly wrenched himself away from that passionate situation. It was his first time hearing this name that would affect his extraordinary life.


    Only after that did he learn, Xuxu was Cheng Zixu. He was Jiang Yuqian¡¯s high school classmate, and they were apparently deskmates.


    As deskmates, there was bound to be some feelings involved. The biggest coincidence was that Cheng Zixu was even in the same faculty as him, and was also in the clinical department.


    Over the years, Jiang Yuqian never got what he wished for, the reason being that the little Cheng fellow never managed to accept being a homosexual.


    And so, the two of them muddled along like this, and in between them appeared a troublemaker Zhou Hao.


    This three-sided relationship was fixed firmly.


    The apartment Zhou Hao currently lived in was Jiang Yuqian¡¯s property. Then, this person had a brainfart, and bought an apartment in the same estate as Cheng Zixu. Would a normal person do something like this? Insisting on placing his will-o¡¯-wisp 1 together with his fuckbuddy.


    Fuckbuddy¡­


    Although Zhou Hao was unwilling to admit it, he was clear that this was how Jiang Yuqian saw him. That person had good manners, and never really knew how to swear. However, when Jiang Yuqian was provoked by him to his breaking point, he would roar, ¡°Who do you think you are? You¡¯re only just a person looking to get fucked!¡±


    Each time he heard this, Zhou Hao would lunge at him like a crazy tiger, tearing, biting, swinging his limbs at him, hitting him as savagely as he could. If Jiang Yuqian gave in, the matter would drop; If Jiang Yuqian was still angry, Zhou Hao would drag him onto the bed.


    Flaming up his desires, teasing him thoroughly, then running away, tossing aside the man that had been turned on. This method was immediately effective, and Jiang Yuqian would definitely give in, coaxing him onto the bed.


    Zhou Hao did not like Cheng Zixu, mainly because that person was too sissy. His features were fine and delicate, and his way of talking was very soft and gentle.


    Zhou Hao sniffed, enduring his pain, and walked up to them.


    ¡°My gastric hurts, go buy medicine with me.¡± By this time, cold sweat was running down Zhou Hao¡¯s face due to the pain, but he still pretended to be composed.


    Cheng Zixu greeted him, ¡°Senior.¡±


    Zhou Hao snorted, ¡°Junior, how are you.¡±


    The three people stood openly in the same space, a little awkward, but Jiang Yuqian did not want to bother about Zhou Hao at all.


    Zhou Hao was the sort of person who would insist on making his presence known the more he was ignored. This time, his cockroach-like undaunting spirit took over him, and he deliberately said, ¡°Hubby, go buy medicine with me.¡±


    The colour of Cheng Zixu¡¯s face drained away. He lowered his head slightly, looking down at the bare ground.


    Jiang Yuqian did not even look at Zhou Hao, but turned to look at the blank Cheng Zixu.


    So afraid of his little lover getting jealous?! A savage expression appeared on Zhou Hao¡¯s face, and he yelled, ¡°What are you afraid of? He knows about our relationship anyway!¡±


    Cheng Zixu nodded a little. ¡°I¡¯ll go back first.¡±


    Jiang Yuqian¡¯s cold and handsome face tensed up, it was a sign of his impending outburst of fury. His eyes were like icy sharp knife piercing cutting into Zhou Hao, then he turned and caught up with Cheng Zixu¡¯s slow steps.


    Zhou Ha watched the two people depart. ¡°Fuck!¡± Hugging his stomach, he went to the pharmacy to purchase some medicine for gastric pain, then to the convenience store next door and bought a bottle of water, twisting the cap open and gulping a large amount down.


    The pain in his stomach gradually lessened. He placed the bottle and the medicine in the plastic bag, holding onto it and heading home.


    Upon pushing the door open, he was surprised to see the lights on. Zhou Hao changed into his slippers at the door, and as expected, Jiang Yuqian was sitting on the sofa and coldly glaring at him.


    Zhou Hao shivered. The air-conditioning at home was too cold.


    ¡°It¡¯s not the weekend today, why are you here?¡±


    ¡°You did it on purpose.¡± With the sinister tone, Zhou Hao knew that this person was incensed.


    ¡°My stomach hurts. It¡¯s not illegal to look for someone I¡¯m familiar with to go buy medicine with me.¡±


    The man on the sofa suddenly sneered. ¡°When have I been familiar with you.¡±


    Zhou Hao did not capitulate, ¡°We¡¯re not, we only know each other in bed.¡±


    Somehow, this sentence made Jiang Yuqian stand up and push Zhou Hao towards the bedroom. As they pushed and shoved at each other, they rolled onto the bed.


    Another battle in bed, and in the end, they were both a little weary.


    ¡°What madness took over you today?¡± Zhou Hao asked, then mumbled to himself, ¡°It actually felt quite good.¡±


    Jiang Yuqian did not respond, and the distance between the two dragged apart.


    Zhou Hao then understood. This person probably had wanted to prove that they were unfamiliar with each other on the bed as well. However, their bodies could not lie, and now he was deeply doubting himself.


    ¡°Hey.¡± Zhou Hao started mocking him, ¡°Is it time for philosophy? What are you thinking about.¡±


    He was ignored.


    ¡°I told you, in bed we¡¯re definitely familiar with each other. Your low groan just now was really captivating.¡±


    ¡°Zhou Hao, you disgust me!¡±


    When Jiang Yuqian was pushed, he would occasionally spit out, ¡°You disgust me.¡±


    These words were really quite hurtful. The first time he heard it, the colour of Zhou Hao¡¯s face did change. However, now that his skin had thickened, he was long used to it.


    He had no choice but to get used to it.


    Jiang Yuqian turned his back towards him, and Zhou Hao stared at the back of his head. Staring for a long time, he felt his eyes starting to ache. He then leaned over towards his back, pretending that they were lovers sleeping together in a bed.


    Cheng Zixu¡­ Xuxu¡­


    Zhou Hao lay on the bed, not sleeping. Silently, he repeated this name over and over again.


    In the past, he had half-jokingly, with some jealousy, asked Jiang Yuqian to call him Haohao, but Jiang Yuqian always looked scornful. At that time, he had felt that this person was unreasonable. Would he die addressing him like this?


    After that, he then learnt that the meaning of Xuxu was not something ordinary, and it was not a privilege Zhou Hao could snatch over with a couple of words. Fortunately, he was observant, and knew that there were things that could not be forced, and so he did not waste his energy doing so.


    The two of them still addressed each other mutually by their full names. Occasionally, when he was pushed to the edge by this person in bed, Zhou Hao would even plead with him, calling him ¡°Hubby¡±. However, no matter times he called him hubby, it would never be as intimate as Xuxu.


    Why were the two of them together today¡­ This question only flashed across Zhou Hao¡¯s mind for a short moment, and quickly disappeared.


    It was not that he was big-hearted, living like an idiot, but that after so many years, he was already used to it. It did not matter, so what if Jiang Yuqian like him? The road for Jiang Yuqian and the Cheng fellow was bound to be rough, and it would be hard for them to end up together.


    Anyway, this man was now lying next to him.


    Seeking the good in adversity was probably something like this.


    It might be because they had been in conflict for so long, the part of his body that was supposed to secrete his emotions had long been eroded away. Those feelings at the start, whether it was his happiness or sadness, he now already could not really sense them.


    The person next to him was breathing steadily. Zhou Hao pressed his face into his back, quietly calling him ¡°Hubby¡±¡­ then he shut his eyes.

 Chapter 3 - The Video

    Chapter 3 ¡ª The Video


    The next morning, the other side of the bed was already empty. Jiang Yuqian got up and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Breakfast was already laid out on the dining table. As the living room was connected to the dining room, when he was eating in the dining room, he could hear moaning coming from the television in the living room.


    He could not be more familiar with that sound. During many of his solitary nights, he had also secretly watched that video.


    ¡°Zhou Hao, what exactly are you doing?¡± Jiang Yuqian shut the television off, staring at the person on the couch.


    ¡°What can I be doing? I¡¯m watching TV.¡± He spoke leisurely, but it had a challenging tone to it.


    Jiang Yuqian laughed hideously. He walked over and sat down next to him. He held onto the flesh between Zhou Hao¡¯s legs, using a little bit of strength.


    ¡°Is it because I didn¡¯t satisfy you enough last night that you need to watch this kind of video in the morning?¡±


    Zhou Hao grabbed hold of Jiang Yuqian¡¯s hand, his fingers lightly stroking the smooth, fair back of his hand.


    As the hand moved up and down, Zhou Hao sneered at him.


    ¡°Look at what you¡¯re saying. What are you calling ¡®this kind of video¡¯? This is Cheng Zixu¡¯s self-directed gay porn.¡±


    Zhou Hao deliberately dragged the last two words out. He glanced at the other person¡¯s ashen face, and continued speaking in a provocative tone, ¡°Jiang Yuqian, you even sold your body for that sissy. Does he know about it?¡±


    Jiang Yuqian seemed to have heard the world¡¯s greatest joke. ¡°Selling my body? Selling it to you? It¡¯s been so many years, you¡¯ve always been the one getting fucked.¡±


    A feigned ruthlessness flashed past Zhou Hao¡¯s eyes. He wrenched his hand away, and did not want to continue speaking.


    He had randomly downloaded that video from some porn site long ago. In the massive catalogue, he had immediately noticed the man on the thumbnail ¡ª wearing a white coat, and the setting seemed to be in a toilet. As the lighting was not clear enough, from some angles, that man really looked like Cheng Zixu.


    At that time, he had been thinking of ways to provoke Jiang Yuqian. However, he could not find a way, and later on, he finally understood what this person was like. He edited the video into three minutes, then took this edited video that looked like a rape in a toilet and went to look for Jiang Yuqian.


    His condition was that Jiang Yuqian had to be with him, Zhou Hao, if not he would upload the video onto the school¡¯s internet.


    So what did Jiang Yuqian do? It might be because he was so madly in love with Cheng Zixu, that he did not even verify the accuracy of the video before agreeing to his unreasonable demand.


    And so, a video forced Jiang Yuqian to do his bidding for many years, and the two of them began an unspoken agreement.


    When Zhou Hao reflected upon himself, he too thought that he was a hateful person. After so many years, he only had one friend with him. He was unable to get close to anyone, his character withdrawn, and towards anyone unfamiliar, he always treated them coldly.


    People who always kept themselves well protected would easily live a pitiful life.


    He disliked the sissy Cheng Zixu, and his dislike had almost reached a perverse and disgusting stage. However, there were times when he was really envious of that person.


    He had spent countless cold, lonely nights lying in bed, imagining himself as that sissy. With his fantasies, he coaxed himself to sleep.


    It was clearly a lamentable, self-pitying action, but over and over again, he could not help but be obsessed with it.


    After a long period of silence, Jiang Yuqian wearily responded, ¡°Zhou Hao, have your parents never taught you what shameless is?¡±


    ¡°Fuck, you can fuck off right now!¡± Zhou Hao was furious.


    Previously, no matter how ugly his words got, Zhou Hao would not be very bothered by it, and he would even rebut him. However, when he heard this, the old wound of many years in his heart was once again ripped open, and dripped with blood.


    Because, he had no father, and only had a mother and a stepfather.


    His father had passed away in a car accident when he was seven. Two months later, his mother had remarried, bringing him along. The man she remarried was tall and thin. Ever since then, his life went through a tremendous change.


    His mother was a primary school teacher in a county. It was very strange. Teachers were to impart knowledge and educate people, but she taught her own son into becoming a strange child.


    She often said, ¡°I should have sent you into the village where your grandparents lived. It was your Uncle Li who rejected that idea, and you must know how to be grateful. Studying in the village, the old people will not be bothered with you, and it¡¯s very easy for you to become an unsuccessful child.¡±


    From his mother¡¯s superficial words, he understood many things. His understanding of those matters had exceeded that of what a child of his age should have.


    He was actually a precocious child. He thought, if he was not an unsuccessful child, then his mother would then love him again.


    And so, he studied desperately. Every year, he would top his class. However, doing so, he was still unable to get his mother¡¯s attention. This was because a year later, his mother had given him a little sister.


    He disliked that girl, just like how he disliked the humid weather in the south.


    Since his outstanding results did not get any attention, he did many unimaginably strange things. For example, he stole money from home, fought in school, and even stole his stepfather¡¯s cigarettes to smoke.


    He would forever remember that acrid, choking feeling the moment he inhaled the cigarette. He was very baffled, such a horrid tasting thing, why did the middle-aged men all like it?


    However, he did not have time to think about it. Soon, his mother discovered his misdeeds. She was very angry, but did not even hit him, instead turning and leaving to coax his little sister to sleep. He was even more bewildered, why did his mother not punish him?


    An eleven year old boy was unable to answer that question.


    Many years later, his sister started primary school. She only did not finish the homework assigned to her, and his mother and stepfather hit her until she cried, before gently coaxing her for a long, long time.


    The family of three were in his sister¡¯s room, experiencing an education from loving parents.


    From then on, he finally understood clearly that puzzling question from many years ago ¡ª


    It was because that woman no longer loved him.


    That night, his sister was crying. He hid in his little room in the attic, and he cried as well. He missed his dead father, and he missed his grandparents in the village.


    His memories stopped abruptly¡­ Jiang Yuqian had already left the apartment.


    He had only had a bit of the breakfast on the table, and the food now sat on the plate, cold. Using the bowl and chopsticks that person had used, he finished up all the porridge and eggs.


    It was still early. He went to his room and turned on his computer, updating his ongoing post on Douban ¡ª <My Years with Mr. J>


    ¡°I was born in the south in June. It was a long, rainy season. When it rained, the windows in the attic and the floor would always fog up, turning my little room damp and wet. I really dislike June, and I really dislike this season.


    Actually, in my subconscious, the thing I dislike the most was probably my birth.


    Yesterday was my birthday. I sent a text asking Mr. J if he would be coming back. If he was, I was going to prepare his favourite dish, chicken curry. But he never replied.


    I¡¯ve long expected that that would be the conclusion, and I was already used to it.


    That night, my gastric pain returned, and it was extremely painful.


    If the pain could cause my death one day, I probably would be completely freed. Would that woman cry? Would she be upset about my death?


    I went downstairs to buy some medicine, and saw Mr. J with the sissy walking together. I purposely appeared in front of my love rival, but Mr. J only had an icy poker face on, ignoring me.


    The next morning, I deliberately mentioned something in the past to agitate him. He was furious, but I did not feel any better about it as well.


    He scolded me, saying I was a shameless person without parents to educate him. I was enraged, and it was true that no one had ever taught me what shameless meant. My mother and my stepfather never cared about me¡­


    You see, the person I thought was closest to me could always easily jab at my sore spots, not giving me a chance to even fight back.


    Could he not see that sometimes, I would also feel upset¡­


    I want to gain a familial affection I¡¯ve never received from him, but he always just ignorantly pushed me further into the pit.


    After so many years, I¡¯m also often puzzled ¡ª what exactly am I being stubborn about?¡±


    Soon, many new replies appeared under the post ¡ª there were some that supported him, but also others that scolded him, saying he was crazy.


    Zhou Hao selected a few replies scolding him. He sent his retorts back, then shut his computer off.

 Chapter 4 - Bitterness

    Chapter 4 ¡ª Bitterness


    Edited by Tin


    In the evening, Zhou Hao called Yan Ming out for a barbeque dinner. Yan Ming was his high school classmate, as well as his only friend. From their county, the two of them had both managed to get accepted into a university in the capital, and they could be considered buddies who would share woe and weal.


    After a few drinks, there was enough bitterness in his stomach. It was evident that Zhou Hao was drunk, and his face was flushed from the alcohol. ¡°Boss, another five sticks of kidney, they need to be a little rare.¡±


    Yan Ming said, ¡°Your taste is so heavy.¡±


    Zhou Hao replied, ¡°What do you know? It¡¯s to improve virility.¡±


    With the air of a refined scholar and his black-framed glasses, one only needed a glance to see that Yan Ming was a cultured person. He did not want to continue that topic with his friend, and so changed the topic to persuade Zhou Hao instead.


    ¡°You should let Jiang Yuqian go. His heart is not even with you, why do you want to go through such suffering?¡±


    ¡°Then what about you? Why aren¡¯t you letting go yet?¡± Zhou Hao countered.


    Yan Ming fell silent. From a certain angle, the two of them were very similar. They both suffered from a certain sort of stubbornness.


    When Zhou Hao discovered that Yan Ming liked a teacher from the history department, they had just finished their fourth year of studies.


    During that time, Zhou Hao was in the midst of a cold war with Jiang Yuqian. He was not in a good mood, and so he invited Yan Ming for a graduation trip to a nearby city. However, Yan Ming had rejected the invitation, saying that he wanted to help his teacher collate some data. Zhou Hao took it as him being a bookworm who had studied till his brain rotted, and did not press on.


    Some time later, Yan Ming told him that he would never again write poetry.


    A little confused, Zhou Hao chimed in, ¡°It¡¯s good that you¡¯re no longer writing poetry. You literary youths are too scary.¡±


    However, Yan Ming responded. ¡°He said, after Auschwitz, all poetry is uncivilised.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡± Zhou Hao held back his words, then asked, ¡°Who is he?¡±


    ¡°Jiang-laoshi.¡±


    What happened next was an entire year of admiring him secretly. Zhou Hao did not like the sort of feelings that dragged on and on. He had told Yan Ming countless times to just confess his feelings directly, as there was no point in hiding it away. However, Yan Ming disagreed, saying that this was a sort of philosophical love, and there only needed to be a spiritual exchange. He only needed the person he liked to stand in front of him, and he would already be happy enough.


    Finally came a day when Zhou Hao saw that legendary history teacher. His name was Jiang Weiyang, thirty-odd years of age. His hair was soft and smooth, lying obediently on his head, and neither too short nor too long. Just like Yan Ming, he wore a pair of glasses, and his appearance was very elegant and good looking. He could be considered a popular teacher in the history department. Girls liked to crowd around him, asking him questions, and Yan Ming as well.


    Honestly speaking, when one liked a person, their eyes would reveal everything. Zhou Hao thought that it was possible the teacher might already know of Yan Ming¡¯s feelings. However, that Jiang-laoshi was a divorcee, and so he probably was heterosexual.


    This was not something that would result in fruitfulness.


    Zhou Hao lifted up his beer bottle, gulping its contents down before slamming the bottle down. ¡°I saw him and that sissy yesterday.¡±


    ¡°What were they doing?¡±


    ¡°Nothing much, he was sending the sissy home.¡±


    Yan Ming raised his glass, taking a drink. ¡°Zhou Hao, are you tired?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not,¡± Zhou Hao opened another bottle, finishing half of it. ¡°At the most, we¡¯ll just torture each other, and we won¡¯t let each other off.¡±


    Yan Ming was completely unable to understand his friend¡¯s way of thinking. However, the matter of Zhou Hao liking Jiang Yuqian in the first place was incomprehensible as well.


    Love needed to be mutual and consensual to be considered love. The other party had no such intentions at all, but Zhou Hao, after liking him, decided to force his way in.


    So, despite all these years and how badly Jiang Yuqian had treated Zhou Hao, Yan Ming had never felt that the man was a very bad person.


    ¡°Has a diuretic been added to this? Why do I keep wanting to pee?!¡± Zhou Hao had already drank four bottles. Standing up, he grabbed a skewer of mutton and called out, ¡°I¡¯m going to go pee now.¡±


    The barbecue stall was boisterous, and filled with all sorts of people all mixed within. There were hooligans from various gangs, older people dripping with wealth, as well as scholarly students like the two of them.


    After doing his business, Zhou Hao stood in front of the mirror in the restroom, straightening his fringe. His eyes and nose were well defined, and he could not understand in which way he was lacking compared to that sissy.


    Bolstered by alcohol, he gave Jiang Yuqian a call.


    ¡°Hello? Is this Jiang Yuqian?¡± Feeling giddy, Zhou Hao did not think before he spoke.


    The person on the phone did not speak.


    ¡°Jiang Yuqian, I miss you¡­¡±


    Finally, something was heard. It was an indifferent, mocking tone. ¡°What sort of tricks are you up to this time?¡±


    Under the influence of alcohol, Zhou Hao became somewhat petulant. He was not prickly like usual, and even sounded a little aggrieved, ¡°I¡¯m not up to any tricks, I just miss you¡­¡±


    Jiang Yuqian knew that he was drunk, and hung up immediately.


    ¡°Beep beep beep¡ª¡± Zhou Hao was not very sober, and he continued standing in front of the mirror, repeating, ¡°I just miss you¡­¡±


    ¡°Bro, could you please give way?¡± A hooligan covered with tattoos walked towards Zhou Hao impatiently, scorning him for obstructing the entrance to the restroom.


    Zhou Hao hurriedly moved away from the mirror, and stumbled back to his seat.


    ¡°Why did you take so long?¡± Yan Ming asked.


    Zhou Hao seemed to be possessed. With two reddened cheeks, he smiled foolishly, ¡°I miss Jiang Yuqian¡­¡±


    Yan Ming sighed, pushing the plate of meat skewers in front of the drunkard. ¡°Hurry up and eat.¡±


    Zhou Hao stopped drinking the beer, having some cool water instead. By the time the two of them finished the remaining skewers, it was already 8.30pm. The time to ruminate over their feelings had yet to arrive, while sobriety was upon them. Zhou Hao dragged Yan Ming to the nearby mall to walk around.


    It was quite a strange matter for two lads to be window shopping. They might as well just head back home to sleep, but Zhou Hao felt that he should spend some of the money in his wallet.


    The air-conditioning in the mall was very sufficient. The moment they stepped in, it was as though they had entered heaven. Zhou Hao did not have anything he wanted to buy, and so bought Yan Ming two sets of clothes, spending nearly ten thousand RMB. When making the payment, he did not even blink at the amount.


    ¡°Is this Jiang Yuqian¡¯s money?¡± Yan Ming did not even need to wonder.


    ¡°Mn.¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s return these clothes. I don¡¯t want them, they¡¯re too expensive.¡±


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you want them? It¡¯s his card, we might as well just spend it.¡±


    Jiang Yuqian was a son from a rich family. During his first year in university, his father had handed over a subsidiary company in his group over to him for management, making him a partner in the company. In his third year, with Jiang Yuqian¡¯s unique vision, he purchased a development studio. Later on, this studio developed a new game and became listed, earning him a pile of money.


    Jiang Yuqian had no lack of money, and he was also willing to spend it. All these years, Zhou Hao had gained quite a lot of benefits, at least in the matter of food and clothing. Other than the daily necessities, each time Zhou Hao was unhappy, he would take Jiang Yuqian¡¯s card and go on a shopping spree. It did not matter what he bought, only that he would only buy expensive items.


    ¡°Thank you, Sugar Daddy Jiang.¡± Just like usual, Zhou Hao sent a message to the rich man.


    Only at this point did his morning¡¯s frustration started fading away.


    At home, Jiang Yuqian first received a notification from the bank, and then that derisive message from that person. Thinking about how gleeful Zhou Hao would be shopping, Jiang Yuqian massaged his temples, tossing his phone aside.


    Someone knocked on his door.


    ¡°Come on in.¡±


    Jiang Yuqian¡¯s mother came in with a glass of milk, placing it on the bedside table. ¡°Finish the milk and head to bed early.¡±


    His mother, nearly fifty years of age, yet looked just like a woman around thirty. Although there were a few wrinkles around her eyes, it could be seen that she was a great beauty with a gentle temperament when she was younger. His mother too usually spoke in a very warm, kind manner.


    Influenced by his mother, Jiang Yuqian was brought up well and very polite. No matter how angry he was, he would never say anything too vulgar.


    Being with Zhou Hao, he had already used up all the vulgarities he knew.


    ¡°I met your Auntie Zhang today.¡±


    Sitting on the bed, Jiang Yuqian¡¯s mother started chatting with her son. ¡°Do you still remember her? Her son, Xuxu, sat next to you at school.¡±


    Jiang Yuqian¡¯s heart settled. He was normally not talkative, but he now wanted to chat a little while longer with his mother. ¡°I remember.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s such a coincidence. When I was packing your old things a few days ago, I found a few photos of you and that child together. Xuxu looked just like a little girl.¡±


    He knew those photos. After graduating from high school, their class had arranged a trip to Linyi to play, and he had taken those photos with Cheng Zixu by the beach. There was once when he was upset, and handed those photos to the auntie in his house to be thrown away. When his anger abated, and he went to ask the photos from the auntie back, the auntie had only said that she had thrown the photos away. Who would have thought that the photos were still at home?


    ¡°Ma, where are they? I¡¯ll like to take a look at them.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll pass them to you tomorrow. It¡¯s quite late now, you should hurry up and head to bed.¡±


    ¡°I want to see them now.¡±


    ¡°Hey, how old are you already? You¡¯re still acting spoilt with your mother?¡± It was rare that her son would act spoilt with her. She sounded scornful, but was internally delighted. ¡°I¡¯ll bring them to you now.¡±


    Their backs against the sea, Jiang Yuqian had one arm around Cheng Zixu, and both of them were smiling radiantly.


    Jiang Yuqian caressed those photos, his thumb on Cheng Zixu¡¯s smiling face, and stroked it gently¡­


    Finally, from amongst the photos, he selected a smaller sized one that fit perfectly in his wallet.

 Chapter 5 - Rescuing a Beauty in Distress

    Chapter 5 ¡ª Rescuing a Beauty in Distress


    Edited by Tin


    There was one week left until finals. The one who had to revise, revised, while the one who had to work on his research, researched. The lives of the two people went in different paths, and there was basically no chance for them to meet. On Saturday, Zhou Hao returned home from the lab and realised that no one had been home at all.


    It was now 8:30 PM. Without thinking, he returned to school and headed straight for the eastern-most library.


    By the time he arrived, it was past nine. Fortunately, the library closed at ten.


    He tapped his card and headed for the study room on the third floor. There were a lot of people there, and all the seats were filled. The air was stuffy and humid.


    Looking down each row, Zhou Hao finally saw Jiang Yuqian and Cheng Zixu in a corner next to the window.


    Zhou Hao walked over.


    ¡°Yo, studying together?¡±


    The sudden disruption caused many students around them to look up, before looking back down again at their books. Cheng Zixu greeted him quietly, ¡°Senior.¡±


    ¡°Cheng Zixu, you¡¯re studying medicine. Your majors have nothing to do with each other, what are you doing with Jiang Yuqian?!¡±


    His voice was not loud, but still created a disturbance. The surrounding students were all rather annoyed, and glared at Zhou Hao.


    From the start until the end, Jiang Yuqian did not look up. His pen paused on his paper, leaving a spreading ink stain. The ink seemed as though it was about to seep through the paper, leaking all the way down.


    Zhou Hao¡¯s gaze was pulled over by this sight. He held Jiang Yuqian¡¯s hand lightly, slowly lifting it up. With an ambivalent smile, he looked fairly pale, and a little terrifying.


    ¡°The paper¡¯s about to be torn by you.¡± His expression darkened suddenly. ¡°Do you want to watch the video?¡±


    Jiang Yuqian wrenched his hand away, finally looking up at Zhou Hao. Just like him, his eyes were frighteningly dark.


    ¡°Why haven¡¯t you learnt your lesson yet?¡± Zhou Hao¡¯s tone was full of resignation.


    Across them, Cheng Zixu too noticed the tense atmosphere between the two of them, as though they were at daggers drawn. He did not dare to exhale too loudly, and kept silent.


    Jiang Yuqian glanced at Cheng Zixu, his eyes full of deep forbearance. ¡°I¡¯ll go first.¡± Then he packed up his books and notes.


    At 9.30pm, under the yellow glow of the street lights, the campus was still full of people. This was usually the case one week before the examinations.


    Dressed in a white shirt and black pants, the light reflected behind Jiang Yuqian, as well as the black bag he was carrying. Jiang Yuqian walked straight ahead, through the incoming students, as well as the flourishing pagoda trees lining the path.


    Zhou Hao followed closely behind him. They did not exchange a word until they got onto a taxi outside the school gates.


    Once in the car, Zhou Hao was immediately shoved against the door by Jiang Yuqian.


    ¡°Are you satisfied?!¡±


    Zhou Hao¡¯s mouth was pinched into an awkward shape by Jiang Yuqian. He swatted his hand away, speaking through gritted teeth, ¡°I¡¯m satisfied! I¡¯m happy to see you getting embarrassed!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re crazy!¡±


    ¡°Why don¡¯t I give up a day for that sissy? He¡¯ll take Saturday, and I¡¯ll take Sunday?¡±


    Jiang Yuqian laughed suddenly, with extreme ridicule. ¡°You think you have the right?¡±


    Zhou Hao¡¯s expression changed. He raised his leg, giving Jiang Yuqian a savage kick then grabbed his hands tightly, trapping them on between his thighs.


    Soon, they arrived at No. 1 Binjiang. Both of them exited the car.


    In the apartment, on the huge bed in the bedroom, the air conditioning was set at 28?C. Loud panting could be heard, along with indulgent moans.


    Tangling together tightly, persistent intertwining, what love, what hate, what craziness, they all disappeared. In that moment, they belonged to each other, pressed firmly against each other¡¯s most intimate places.


    After the matter, Jiang Yuqian went to the bathroom like usual. Zhou Hao leaned against the bedrest smoking, and the room again smelled thickly of sex. In the hazy smoke, he had a trace of guilt. It was the guilt of lust, as well as a humanistic guilt.


    He wanted to escape the assault of this guilt, but it was as though his eyes were veiled. He could not see the end of this guilt, and where it was.


    When will this ever end? Zhou Hao wondered.


    It would probably be the day when they were black and blue, when they struggled between life and death. Then that would be the end of Zhou Hao.


    After showering, Jiang Yuqian came out with a bare chest. Zhou Hao was already over that inexplicable sudden sorrow, and stared at Jiang Yuqian with an ambiguous smile.


    Zhou Hao, ¡°Was it good?¡±


    Jiang Yuqian pulled out one corner of the blanket, and leaned against the bedrest as well. Towards Zhou Hao¡¯s words, he did not respond.


    Under his wet fringe was a gaze like the abyss. It was like the ocean at night, rising and falling, concealing everything terrifying and unknown.


    After a long silence, Zhou Hao spoke with a voice that had turned hoarse from the smoke. ¡°Hubby, hold me.¡±


    He would rarely call Jiang Yuqian ¡°hubby¡±, unless he could not help himself. Probably, he too felt a little tired already.


    How could he not be tired? Pushing and pulling, calculating and scheming, his brain was only so small, how could he think about so many things everyday? Of course he would be tired.


    However, he missed that clean scent wafting off Jiang Yuqian¡¯s body. It was mixed with the unique sweet scent that only he had. Every time he had intertwined physically with this person, Zhou Hao felt that from inside to out, from up to down, he too was cleansed.


    This sort of longing was very difficult. For it, he turned into a nutcase, into a pervert, and soon, it was likely that he would become incurably ill.


    Not getting a reaction from Jiang Yuqian, Zhou Hao sucked deeply on his cigarette before leaning over to pry open the other¡¯s mouth with his lips, and exhaling all the smoke within into that person.


    Cough cough ¡ª Jiang Yuqian did not know how to smoke, and his face was now red from choking.


    The pleasure of this revenge welled up within Zhou Hao. He felt extremely comfortable, and even his breathing was much easier now.


    He opened his eyes, staring at the dazzling light on the ceiling. It was very bright, and the halo spun slowly in his eyes, as though it was dancing.


    His pupils too gradually widened, but the light suddenly changed. A pink woman appeared, along with a damp apartment and stained memories that he could not get rid of¡­


    Zhou Hao blinked his eyes desperately. They were dry, and a little itchy. He rubbed them with a hand, and they were actually a little wet.


    The discomfort in Jiang Yuqian¡¯s throat gradually dissipated. With anger, he glared at Zhou Hao, only to see him staring blankly at the ceiling, and his neck was in a very strange position.


    He followed Zhou Hao¡¯s line of sight. Other than the white ceiling and the bright chandelier, there was nothing else¡­


    ¡°Jiang Yuqian.¡± Zhou Hao¡¯s voice was husky. He shifted over to him, then embraced him. ¡°Hold me.¡±


    Jiang Yuqian froze. He looked down at the person in front of him who seemed to not be his usual self. Perhaps his sorrow too influenced him, and he did not push Zhou Hao away like usual.


    He continued leaning against the bedrest, and time ticked slowly by. Having not moved his legs for a long time, they felt a little numb. Jiang Yuqian gently adjusted his position. That person was already asleep, deeply asleep, only that his arms were still wrapped tightly around him.


    Jiang Yuqian leaned closer to look at the sleeping person. There were tear tracks on his face, and the thin trails slid down, ending at his temples.


    ¡°You¡¯re such a terrible person, yet you can cry too?¡± Jiang Yuqian wiped the tears away with his index finger, then placed it between his lips for a taste.


    They were salty, but worthless.


    The next day, their behaviour was just like usual, and no one mentioned the slip-up last night.


    There were still some frozen dumplings in the freezer, and Zhou Hao cooked them all. In no time, the fat little dumplings all rose to the surface of the pot. Zhou Hao placed the lid over, allowing them to cook for a little while more before taking a plate to serve them.


    In the dining room, the two people sat across the dining table. While eating, Zhou Hao scrolled through his phone. ¡°Want to watch a movie? Star Wars is playing.¡±


    Jiang Yuqian chewed slowly on the dumplings, remaining quiet.


    ¡°Don¡¯t tell me you need to revise, so you¡¯re not free,¡± Zhou Hao mocked. ¡°I can see that you¡¯re deliberately accompanying Mister Cheng.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not going.¡±


    Zhou Hao pretended that it did not matter to him, ¡°It¡¯s your loss.¡±


    The two of them had nothing to do at home, and so lazed on the couch and watched TV the entire day. At night, Jiang Yuqian received a call. He said it was from his family, and so left with his schoolbag. Zhou Hao sent him to the gate of the complex, watching him go onto a taxi.


    As though he was possessed, Zhou Hao walked to the school library. At the corner seats next to the window, he again saw those two people.


    Until then, he could never understand such a hypocritical person like Cheng Zixu. He would never say he did not like Jiang Yuqian, only leading him on like this. However, today, Zhou Hao could not bring himself to interrupt their studying.


    He too was someone with pride. He pretended to be cool, and left the library with his chin up.


    That strong image ¡ª an aura as though the entire world was stupid and he was the only one aware. However, upon leaving the library, he crumbled.


    His steps were weak, and his unsettled body had no strength within. Why was he pretending?


    It was not like anyone was watching him. Anyway, in Jiang Yuqian¡¯s eyes, he would never be able to see this manufactured clown.


    As he walked, he reached a dark, remote path. The path was made of concrete, and lined with flourishing pagoda trees as well. Now that summer was coming, there were less and less people walking this path, especially females.


    Zhou Hao was a man, and men naturally did not fear taking this path. However, it was only past seven now, and everyone was revising. There were few people walking around the school, and so there were even less on this remote path.


    ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡±


    ¡°You look so tender and appealing.¡±


    ¡°Come play with us for a bit.¡±


    ¡­


    The vulgar and boorish words came drifting from behind the pagoda trees. Zhou Hao listened carefully. It seemed like a few hooligans were surrounding someone. He did not like to interfere in things that had nothing to do with him, and only wanted to quietly walk through this path.


    ¡°Help me!¡± It was from a boy, sounding very low. It was evident that the boy had seen Zhou Hao.


    He then heard a slap clearly. ¡°Less fucking nonsense!¡±


    Zhou Hao paused. That cry for help seemed to have caused a surge of unlimited energy within him. It was bitter, painful, and a little sweet.


    He walked over.


    As expected, three men were surrounding a boy. Looking at how sloppily they were dressed, it was clear that they were some young punks. The boy that was surrounded was very pretty, looking a little androgynous.


    ¡°Kid, what are you doing at night? It¡¯s going to be the finals next week, aren¡¯t you going to revise?¡± Zhou Hao grabbed the boy¡¯s arm, pulling him away.


    The three people did not expect that the two of them knew each other. Confused, they watched the boy hide behind Zhou Hao.


    ¡°Yo, you even know each other,¡± One of the hooligans spoke.


    Zhou Hao turned his head, pushing the boy away. ¡°Quick, run! Go bring someone here!¡±


    Like a mad man, he then ran forward and threw himself into fighting the three people.


    Hopelessly outnumbered, Zhou Hao was quickly left at a disadvantage. Fortunately, in less than five minutes, that boy had gathered four or five classmates to come.


    Upon seeing the arrival of so many people, the three young punks threw Zhou Hao to the ground and ran away.

 Chapter 6 - The Clown

    Chapter 6 ¡ª The Clown


    Edited by Tin


    Zhou Hao staggered as he stood up, his face scarily dark. Pressing onto his swollen face, he headed straight east. He must have had too much time on his hands, and that was why he decided to play the hero.


    That boy had just finished giving his thanks to his classmates who came to help. Turning around, he saw that Zhou Hao was leaving, and so hurried after him. Sounding both nervous and apologetic, he spoke, ¡°Thank you very much for just now.¡±


    Zhou Hao ignored him, walking towards the direction of the school gates. Under the streetlights were two shadows, one tall, one short; one in front, and one behind. The school grounds were covered in an oppressive aura of the examination week, and these two people, walking on the cement path as though they were bounding away, were like the solitary light in a pitch Black Forest.


    ¡°Stop bothering me!¡± Zhou Hao¡¯s footsteps paused, and the pain of his forehead made him suck in a breath of cool air.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± The boy¡¯s pretty eyelashes fluttered down, two even shadows reflected in his eyes. ¡°My name is Sun Yiwen, and again, thank you very much.¡±


    According to Zhou Hao¡¯s usual character, he had completely no intentions of responding to this person, and would not even say a single, extraneous word. However, the image Sun Yiwen portrayed, silently standing there with his head bowed and looking apologetic, it made him recall Cheng Zixu, whom he just saw in the library half an hour ago, his head buried in his books.


    This moment, the expressions in these two people¡¯s eyes entangled tightly in Zhou Hao¡¯s head.


    Zhou Hao glanced at him a couple of times dazedly, and casually asked, ¡°What year are you in?¡±


    Sun Yiwen was a little surprised, quickly answering, ¡°I¡¯m in my second year. What about you?¡±


    Zhou Hao did not reply, and continued heading east.


    The dancing tree shadows under the streetlights were like thick, black ink whirling across the ground. Zhou Hao stepped on these shadows, a sense of resignation exuding from his footsteps. He too did not know where he was going.


    Home? It was empty and lonely, without a single person there.


    What about returning to the library and again seeking out his own suffering? He did not want to do so, he was truly exhausted today.


    Zhou Hao reached the bend, then wrenched his head around. That person was still standing like a fool there.


    ¡°Oi! Come here!¡±


    Sun Yiwen immediately ran over. Stopping right in front of Zhou Hao, his chest was heaving as he caught his breath. Zhou Hao watched the person in front of him, and after a pause, he asked him, ¡°Can you drink?¡±


    Sun Yiwen froze for a moment, then quickly nodded his head.


    ¡°Been to a bar?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Come with me, and try it out!¡±


    The two went to the one closest to their school, Bar Sakura. Apparently, the boss was Japanese, and the bar was furnished in a Japanese style as well. The long and narrow bar counter made of brick and wood looked very solemn and stately, but the lighting within was very soft and gentle. The two clashing styles mixed together, compensating for each other¡¯s weakness, and so the entire bar felt very elegant. It was like a young Japanese girl in a kimono and clogs, walking daintily.


    The bartender was a middle-aged man dressed smartly in a suit. This was Zhou Hao¡¯s first time here as well. Studying the menu, they both ordered a Long Island iced tea. The ingredients and ice cubes rattled loudly in the shaker, and each motion of the bartender dazzled Zhou Hao¡¯s eyes. Even without drinking, he felt as though he was in a dream already.


    After the cocktails were mixed and poured into Collins glasses, a decorative lemon slice and crushed iced were added, and the drinks were finally adorned with a straw.


    Zhou Hao did not normally drink. Although this cocktail was not very alcoholic, the way he chugged it all down in one shot, the alcohol immediately rushed through his body.


    Sun Yiwen drank refinedly, unhurriedly, and so did not feel a single bit drunk.


    ¡°Are you ok?¡±


    Zhou Hao waved him off, and spoke to the bartender. ¡°Another glass.¡±


    The bartender again performed the same actions, preparing another glass for him, only for Zhou Hao to drink it all in one go again. Now, he was not only a little drunk, but completely drunk. His head spun, and his cheeks were flushed a drunken red. He sprawled on the bar counter, feeling that the lights, the music, and the people around him were spinning.


    Over there, Zheng Shichu and a few other players noticed what was going on here.


    ¡°Shall we call Yuqian over? His wife¡¯s about to run off with another,¡± Zheng Shichu jeered with narrowed eyes.


    Gu Lin, ¡°What has he been doing these past few days? He keeps disappearing.¡±


    Tian Bin said, ¡°Probably accompanying his little lover. Look, the official wife feels abandoned, and so ran over here to drink.¡±


    Zheng Shichu laughed loudly, his index finger wagging as he pointed at Tian Bin, seemingly agreeing with what he said. After that, Zheng Shichu texted Jiang Yuqian on WeChat¡ª


    ¡°Bar Sakura, we¡¯re all here. There¡¯s a good show playing.¡±


    Sun Yiwen saw Zhou Hao dozing off, completely not sober, and supported him out of the bar.


    ¡°The two of them have left. Let¡¯s follow the show.¡±


    Gu Lin did not like such fuss. ¡°Can¡¯t be bothered.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be like this, I¡¯ve already told Yuqian already, and asked him to come over to watch a show. If this person disappears, Yuqian will probably think that I¡¯m playing him for a fool.¡±


    As such, the three people left the bar as well. At the door, Zheng Shichu obstructed Sun Yiwen, blocking his way. Sun Yiwen thought that he had once again bumped into hooligans, and reflexively retreated.


    Feeling the cool wind blowing across his face, Zhou Hao sobered up slightly. He lifted his head, only to see three people standing in front of them. Stumbling, he openly embraced Sun Yiwen¡¯s slender body, turning away and leaving.


    The scene was already set, how could they let the main character leave even before the play started?


    ¡°Zhou Hao!¡± Zheng Shichu shouted. However, Zhou Hao did not pay him any attention, he continued walking.


    ¡°Yuqian says, he¡¯ll come pick you up in a bit.¡±


    This name was like a tonic that washed away all his drunkenness. It entered his ears once, and Zhou Hao immediately sobered up. His stiff arm slid down from delicate shoulders, and then he slowly turned around. Standing on the brightly lit street, he really seemed as though he was a part of a play, and the figures around him had all become his foil.


    He only had to stand in the centre of the street. Whether it was a heartrending hopelessness, or an isolated, lonely emptiness, he only had to put his ¡°acting¡± on display, his acting that came straight from his heart.


    Amongst the four of them, Zheng Shichu was the one with the trashiest mouth. When it involved matters to do with the relationships of others, most people would not interfere. However, Zheng Shichu would, and he loved getting involved in the matters between these two, and stirring up the water, making it even muddier.


    Completely out of the loop, Sun Yiwen watched Zhou Hao, a little worried. Those people did not seem to be anyone good. However, he too had an unexpected gain, he now knew this person¡¯s name.


    Zhou Hao tried his best to control the giddiness in his head, cautiously feigning composedness as he walked over. A somewhat pitiful hope even welled up within him. He thought, was that person also slightly worried about him?


    Not long later, Jiang Yuqian arrived. However, he too brought along Cheng Zixu.


    This situation would definitely always be quite awkward. Cheng Zixu too recognised the three people, greeting them one by one. When he reached Zhou Hao, just like usual, he politely greeted him, ¡°Shixiong!¡±


    Zhou Hao knew that he had been made a fool, and there was nowhere for him to vent this anger. Finally, his rage gathered in his palm, and he pushed Cheng Zixu violently. Cheng Zixu was not standing firmly, and fell back a few steps. However, Zhou Hao¡¯s anger did not lessen. Desperately, he grabbed Jiang Yuqian¡¯s hand. ¡°Let¡¯s go home!¡±


    Jiang Yuqian too struggled desperately out of his hold, then with an unbothered, mocking tone, he spoke to Zheng Shichu, ¡°This is the show you mentioned? It¡¯s not good at all.¡±


    The little street resounded with Zheng Shichu¡¯s exaggerated, deliberate laughter. As though possessed, his laughter was sharp and piercing. Zhou Hao¡¯s hands sank listlessly down. In front of others, he again turned into a clown meant to amuse others. Everyone was watching coldly, including his husband of his fantasy.


    All this while, Sun Yiwen had remained silently next to Zhou Hao. By now, he too registered the wicked intentions of these people. Patting Zhou Hao¡¯s shoulder, he quietly said, ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡±


    Zhou Hao swiftly caught hold of Sun Yiwen¡¯s collar, planting a kiss on him. Although it was only superficial, with just lips pressing against each other, in the eyes of others, they would definitely think that it was a passionate french kiss. In his heart, Zhou Hao silently counted. One second, two second, three second¡­ thirty second. He turned his head around abruptly to see what Jiang Yuqian¡¯s reaction would be like.


    That person had his neck bent, quietly conversing with Cheng Zixu. The amusement curling around his lips could not be concealed, and in his eyes was a touching gentleness.


    The clown, unable to gain any attention, could only flee. Zhou Hao gave Zheng Shichu a kick, then walked away resolutely. He no longer cared about what the others thought about him, no longer cared about Sun Yiwen who was following him closely¡­


    Showering after returning home, Zhou Hao scooted into his room. He felt that his entire body was immersed in an aura of debasement that could not be washed away, and no matter how well he pretended, in the middle of the night, it would still be revealed.


    He selected a porn video on his computer, putting his earphones on, and adjusting the volume to the loudest his ears could accept. In the video was the low moaning and lewd gasping of two male actors. Faced with this visual impact of nudity, he was already no longer in the mood to watch.


    Closing his eyes, he let loose his imagination. There were two people in his fantasy, it was him and his husband. They were intertwined intimately, coming together, rubbing themselves against each other¡­ In the hopeless pleasure, Zhou Hao sank into the anguish of life.


    ¡°Papa, Papa¡­¡± He murmured, pained.


    Papa? That was something too distant, and only existed in the memories of the first seven years of his life. Whenever Zhou Hao was unable to distract himself from the loneliness, in his heart, he would recall the vague memory of that man. Just like now, it was as though everyone in the world was happy, and he was the only one curling up in the dark, decaying day by day.


    Jiang Yuqian clearly could have saved him! He clearly could have rescued him from the darkness! Why did he not save him?! Why was he not saving him?!


    These thoughts often appeared in his brain in fragments. Zhou Hao knew that he was already sick. Finally, he had succeeded in torturing himself, to the point where his sickness was beyond cure.


    The lack of love in his childhood had turned him into a stubborn and apathetic person. All these years, he had been giving his all into finding a hope for his soul. In the end, however, the hope he thought he found had instead pushed him further into hell.


    He could not get rid of the paranoia in his mind, the same things kept repeating non-stop ¡ª


    Why did you not save me?!


    Why did you not reach out to me?!


    Why did you not¡­ like me¡­


    There were so many people in this world. How did Zhou Hao ended fixating on Jiang Yuqiang like a psycho, was a very long, very long story¡­