264 Who Am I? (Jayden)
I buzz Lance up to the penthouse. The kids are asleep and It''s Monday night. Today I''ve worked on all thest-minute wedding ns. It''s all ready to go on Sunday. "Hey. Any beers?" Lance asks.
"Yeah, you know where the fridge is." I follow him out to the kitchen.
"So," Lance''s voice cuts through my thoughts as he emerges from the fridge with two beers and throws me one. "What the actual hell is going on with you and Winona?" I shrug as I sit at one side of the ind counter. "Nothing, why?"
"Nothing? Well then, where is she? She''s clearly not here." Lance asks with a pointed stare.
"She''s busy tonight."
"Oh...busy? Yeah, sounded like she was very busyst night."
My curiosity peaks. "Why?"
"Phillip said she was out having a hell of a time." He twists the beer cap off with his teeth, his eyes flicking over to me. "You guys break up or something?"
I feel a knot tighten in my gut. Phillip. "No, we didn''t break up.
Lance''s brow furrows. "Okay, then why''s she out in the club like she''s single, man?"
"What did Phillip say? Did they...?" I can''t say the words, hell I can barely think them. Jealousy surges up inside me. "Fuck, was he drinking alcohol?"
I''m remembering what he almost did to Winona that night he was drunk. I''ll kill him if he tries that again.
Lance shakes his head. "No alcohol. He just said he saw her dancing with half the jocks in the club and he
left."
""Was Lisa there?"
"Not that he mentioned. What the frick is going on?"
I grit my teeth, trying to keep my cool. "Winona asked for a hall pass."
Lance freezes mid-sip, the beer hovering near his lips as he stares at me like I''ve just sprouted another
head. "A what?"
"A hall pass." I repeat, shrugging like it''s no big deal. "I gave her some space to figure things out before the wedding. The next day, after drinks with Lisa, she asked for a hall pass. Lance ms the beer down on the counter, his eyes wide with disbelief. "And you said...yes?"
"Yeah."
He lets out a loud, incredulousugh. "Dude, are you serious right now? Jayden Brennan, the guy who used to throw punches for less than a sideways look at Winonal What happened to you?" 264 Who AmExclusive content ? by N?(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.
"I didn''t give her a free pass," I snap, irritation rising. "She asked for it, and I said okay."
Lance shakes his head, still looking at me like I''ve lost my damn mind. "Who the fuck are you and what have you done with my best friend?"
I run a hand through my hair, frustration bubbling up. "It''s not like that. It''s just... she''s only ever been with me, okay? She''s got doubts. And if she needs to figure that shit out before we get married, then fine." Lance leans back, crossing his arms. "And you''re okay with that? Just letting her go out and test drive other dudes?"
"It''s not that simple."
"Doesn''t sound like it''splicated either," Lance shoots back..
"Look, I get it. You love her h h h. But giving her a hall pass? That''s not you, man. That''s some
next-level beta shit."
"I''m not a beta."
Lance raises an eyebrow. "Really? ''Cause it sure as hell sounds like you''re scared of her. What happened. to the Jayden who wouldn''t let anyone touch what''s his? You used to have balls, man." I clench my fists as the tension builds in my chest. I''m not scared of her."
"Then, why?" Lance presses. "Why are you letting her walk all over you? You think letting her screw around for a week is gonna solve everything?"
"No."
"You''re supposed to be getting married in six days, bro I mean what if she did it with Phillip!"
Phillip her ex-fiancé, the guy she almost married. The guy who still makes me feel like he''s waiting to make his shot with her.
"I guess it''s the chance I''m going to take."
Lance leans in, his expression dead serious now. "You think Phillip''s gonna be polite? You''re giving him an open invite, Jayden. And trust me, that guy''s gonna take it if he hasn''t already."
I grind my teeth. "I have to trust she loves me and give her this."
Lance ps the counter. "But why? What don''t I know??
I swallow hard. "I''ve had dreams, nightmares, about being with Ashlyn." I admit quietly.
Lance raises an eyebrow. "Ashlyn?"
"Winona heard me. I was talking in my sleep, calling Ashlyn''s name. I said my safe word, more than once."
"Fuck me!"
"I know right."
"So, you feel guilty and give Winona a license to y around."
"It''s not like that."
264 Who Am 17:
Lance lets out a low whistle, shaking his head. "Look, if you want my advice-and let''s face it, you need it -stop worrying about the past. Stop letting Ashlyn haunt you." "No shit, Sherloc."
"And, for God''s sake, stop letting Phillip, or any other man, slide into your future with Winona. Get your head back in the game."
Maybe I''m wrong about the hall pass.
"Where''s your pride, Jayden?" Lance asks. "You''ve changed, man. And not in a good way."
No. I''m not second guessing this now. I''ve made my decision. "I know who I am, and I know what I''m doing. What I''m trying to do."
"What exactly are you trying to do?"
"Winona has only ever been with me."
"Really?! Poor bitch."
"Shut up."
"So, she''s testing out if you''re really the dud in bed that we both know you are?"
"I really should punch you."
"I''ll grab another beer while I''m waiting on that. Plenty of time."
"Look, Winona and I haven''t had sex, since, well since we conceived Abby. She finds it hard to get Ashlyn and me being together out of her head." "Clearly, so do you."
I re at him. "So... she''s using this time to explore a little. I can hardly say no after being with Ashlyn and other women over the years."
"So, she and Phillip have never...?"
I shake my head. "No."
"Well unless they didst night," Lance observes.
I re at him again. "You''re supposed to be on my side."
"Dude, you aren''t even on your side."
""Maybe not. But I''ve given her my wo