[Valerie]
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“‘Sweet, beautiful, clean surface here I come.’
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“Well fuck you too, kid! You’re more of a monster than me! I look no-.” “Okay, scratch that. I do look like a monster! Wait a fucking minute… you can all see me? Tentacles and everything?”
“The fuck!?” “You wouldn’t mind giving me a few tissues to clean myself, would you? I think both my friend and my Goddess just walked out on me…”
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“I uhm… thanks?”
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“Wait! What are you doing? You don’t even know me!”
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“What!? You are a criminal!?”
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“I would never! I-…”
“If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.
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“It’s not like it was on choice!” “My… an asshole attacked me and my… a friend dragged me away to what she thought of as safety.”
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“I…”
“Thanks.”
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“Valerie Sher-… no, just Valerie.”
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“Okay. You might still be a creepy murderer but I really do want that shower. And I have absolutely no desire to go back to the sewers, sooner I would ram a knife in my… well I don’t have legs but I would ram it somewhere!”
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. . . . .
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“Ah, yes. Don’t worry about it. Say, you have a really strange car you know?”
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“Sure…”
‘If I recall correctly all this started about when Tanya confronted me. Afterward, I grew angry at Adrienne, and somehow this must have reduced whatever this bitch of a god-like is doing to me. Sure growing angry and upset like this isn’t really something new for me but now it is happening far more often! I think before I met Mother the only times I felt this volatile was when I didn’t take my medication in a while. Wait… this… my medication!’
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“Yes?”
“Uhm… sorry, you weren’t reacting. So I kinda thought you were asleep.”
“With open eyes?”
“Maybe? I’ll be honest I have no idea how octopussies work!”
“It’s octopuses or octopi, definitely not octopussies. But yeah, I was thinking about some stuff.”
“Interesting stuff? Cause you looked a bit… upset?”
“Magic stuff, if that sates your interest.”
“Oh cool! A friend of mine is a mage! Maybe you know her?” Fay seemed awfully excited about the news.
“Look, Fay. I only came along because you offered me a shower. I’m not all that big on… friends. Never works out anyway, so just… let’s keep this an exchange of favors only, you need something from me and I’ll come help if I can. Not sure what has the same value as taking a shower, but I’ll figure it out.”
“I…” The elf looked a bit upset as far as I could tell but didn’t object. “Okay, sure. I just thought you would like her. I’ll just tell her to not bother you when she comes home.”
“Believe me, I’ll do my best to be out of your hair as soon as possible. And in turn, you can be out of my hair… or well… tentacles.”
Apparently, this had been enough to shut up my small acquaintance. The elf’s head had only come up to my chest before, now they looked downright like a dejected fairy. With the sad expression and delicate face, they seemed more like a depressed doll than a real person; part of me wondered what they would look like all dressed up in a cute outfit…
I quickly turned away, the idea was a bit too entertaining and I was not about to trust my tentacled body to actually control itself. Instead of stripping the small elf and holding it like the tiny delectable creature it was, I barely managed to ask where the bathroom was before I was already rushing towards it. At least finally I was going to get all this shit off of me and take a nice relaxing bath, even if it was in some stranger''s home. But oh well, a fugitive couldn’t be picky, especially not if she had tentacles and quite literally was covered in sewage.
After all that had happened in the last few days, it wasn’t like there was anything else that could still surprise me, right?