Chapter 30:
T/N: From this chapter, I''ll use the suffix "-nim" like in the raw, because I don''t know how to use other words to address a specific person. For example, in the raw, Sarah calls ude "ude-nim", and changing it to "Young Master ude" is okay. However, when others call Sarah "Sarah-nim", I can''t think of any words that are suitable to change into. I can''t possibly trante it to "Lady Sarah". So yeah, hopefully, it''s not confusing.
By the way, if you are familiar with Korean culture, I''m sure you will know about "-nim", but all in all, "-nim" is basically used for people who are of a higher rank than oneself. Like "-sama" in Japanese.
__________
"Heok, heok, urgh!"
Even if she blocked it with her hands, she was choked up and the amount of blood poured out was considerable. Sarah checked the sleeping child while vomiting blood. The fever had not yet gone, and ude, despite themotion, luckily did not wake up and slept soundly.
"Haa, ha..."
Sarah took a deep breath, trying to calm her throbbing stomach. The nket and clothes were quickly stained with dark red blood. If she had dyed a little longer, she would have vomited blood in front of everyone, unable to bear it. It was getting harder and harder to endure the constant use of mana.
"Heok!"
Sarah''s body slumped forward once more. Gooey blood trickled down the nket once more. The blood that came out while blocking the airways prevented her from breathing properly, causing her eyes to get dizzy.
''I overworked myself, today.''
Rather, it seemed less difficult to cast a wide-ranging attack magic that covered the entire capital of the Empire than this. Using Sarah''s mana, it was not difficult to do things with just a lift of a finger, as well as Park Hyeyeon''s magic and vitality from a different dimension far away. The weakness of the magicians was that they had weak stamina. It was no different for Sarah. She was even stronger than other magicians, so she had to consume higher stamina.
"Fu."
Sarah took a deep breath as she calmed down little by little. Sarah was desperately preventing ude from feeling his power when Ethan was taking care of the First Prince. It also required careful control to prevent Ambrosia''s power from resonating. Moreover, the feel of the sword that the First Prince had pierced her neck still throbbed and hurt. Even if he didn''t, she would still spill blood, but when she threw up this time, her head was spinning very much.
"When on earth can I die?"
Everything would be much easier if Park Hyeyeon died and brought back the split soul, then she could absorb it into one again. Sarah was disappointed that Park Hyeyeon did not die even after six years of research. It was a time when she clicked her tongue out of regret and soothed her dizzy stomach.
"......!"
Sarah looked through her dizzy eyes and found May, who was frozen in surprise.
''When did shee in?''
She didn''t notice at all. She also med Ethan Ambrosia because she let go of her tension as soon as he walked away from her room, but that meant she wasn''t feeling well. Sarah''s face was umonly distorted.
"Are, are you okay...?"
May stuttered and looked at the blood that had stained the corners of Sarah''s lips and nkets bright red. Sarah''s condition seemed very serious no matter who looked at it.
"Don''t worry, I sneaked in when Head maid-nim and Butler-nim were seeing Duke-nim off. No one would know I''m here."
May said and quickly approached Sarah. In her hands were Sarah''s clothes to change into and aundry basket. When she saw it, Sarah knew why that child came here.
"You definitely vomited bloodst time, but you hid it. Even now, Countess-nim is in this state, but not only Duke-nim but also everyone is fine it means that Countess-nim, you are hiding your pain now."
"......"
"I can help you."
She was a really quick-witted child. As she was quick to catch on, she must have also noticed that Sarah had other intentions for not punishing her at theundry room earlier. And she thought it was an opportunity and tried to grab the line again.
"Even if you show me your usefulness in this way, would I forgive you? I intend to remove everything that stands in the way of ude-nim."
At Sarah''s cool voice, May flinched for a moment, but answered clearly.
"ude-nim doesn''t know yet, does he? About what I did. And I''m sure he still likes me. He''ll find me soon."
"So what if he finds you? You are just a maid. ude-nim, who will be the owner of Ambrosia, must be a little sad about having one maid."
"ude-nim will definitely ask why you''re pushing me away, so will you be honest with me? You care about ude-nim."
"......That''s right. That''s why I want to make only people who love ude-nim like me stay by ude-nim''s side. I''m not sure if you will fit into that standard."
"I cared about ude-nim, too. It was a short time, but sincerely. Since ude-nim knows that, he opened his heart to me. I was the only one who was sincere in this house."
"Ronda, the head maid, and Veron, the butler, are sincere to ude-nim."
"But ude-nim is not their priority. They belong to Duke Ambrosia-nim. Unlike me, who prioritized ude-nim."
May refuted Sarah''s words and insisted on her usefulness. If Sarah hadn''t really needed her, she would have stopped her at once and kicked her out of this ce. But Sarah continued to listen to her, even though her voice was cold. May had to seize this opportunity.
"Give me a chance. Not only ude-nim, but I''ll also be the limb of Countess Millen-nim. I''m quick-witted, so you will be able to use mefortably. I will help hide Countess-nim''s current state to the end."
"If I do that, what do you expect of me? I''m asking because you''re not purely working for ude-nim."
This was a test. May swallowed her saliva and looked at Sarah. She looked like she was about to copse at any moment, but there was a strong power in those cool azure eyes. If she didn''t pass this test, there would be no ce for her in the Duke of Ambrosia''s house. She would disappear without a trace.
"......You said you''d scold my father. Countess-nim. I want it."
"I said he should be scolded, not that I would scold him."
"That''s what I meant. I''ve sinned against ude-nim, but you told me I shouldn''t me my father for my fault. At least, it''s my father who should be scolded, not me, for what happened at Baron Chenblun''s house."
After hearing May''s words, Sarah was silent for a moment. Then she wiped the blood from her lips with the back of her hand and said.
"How are you going to pay off your sins against ude-nim?"
"......I will devote my life to him. I will do anything for ude-nim."
"If I tell you to betray ude-nim, will you?"
"......"
Sarah''s face became expressionless, there was not even a speck of the gentle smile that had been on her face so far. As if the kind and bright image of her she had shown so far was a lie. May, who had been agonizing for a while, shook her head and replied.
"I won''t do it."
"Why not? The power to scold your father wille from me."
"It is in Countess-nim''s will to disobey Countess-nim''s orders and not betray ude-nim." At May''s answer, a different color appeared in Sarah''s eyes. She could see the tip of Sarah''s straight-closed lips curling up faintly.
"I think you''ll be more useful than I thought. Can I call you Mayfortably from now on?"
"......!"
The voice flowing through Sarah''s lips was benevolent and warm. It worked. May nodded, feeling the cold sweat flowing through the back of her neck.
"Thank you, thank you, Countess Millen-nim."
"Just call my namefortably. Until ude-nim grows up, I am a person of Ambrosia''s house, not Count Millen''s house."
"Yes, Sarah-nim."
Sarah grinned and looked up at her blood-stained nket.
"Then can you take care of this? I can use magic, but I''m not feeling well, I''m tired because of using too much magic."
"Yes! Leave it to me!"
May rushed in quickly, handed Sarah the clothes to change, put the blood-stained nket in a basket, and took out a new one. And she skillfully helped Sarah change and looked at the sleeping ude. The child, who fell asleep with a fever, was sleeping as if he fainted while sweating. Seeing that he didn''t wake up despite this fuss, she could see how tired today was for ude.
"......"
After Sarah changed her clothes, May put a new nket under ude''s neck, swallowing herplicated feelings. While she was alone she had thought a lot about ude. Did she really hate ude? Why did you hate ude so much? In the end, she didn''t want to admit her ugly problem, so she poured all her resentment on this small and delicate child.
"And this..."
May took some small flowers out of her arms and held them out.
"What is this?"
"It''s ude-nim''s favorite flower. They resemble Duchess-nim I saw in the portrait......"
Sarah epted the flowers that May gave her. It was a wildflower resembling Dieline''s dark green eyes. The wildflowersmonly blooming along the roadside and in the fields were the only flowers that were infinitely precious in the Ambrosia mansion. May had to go outside and cut them.
"I was wrong to ude-nim..."
There was no more pretense in May''s bitterly cracked voice. But Sarah had to ask one more time to confirm May''s sincerity.
"Do you know exactly what you did wrong?"
"You said it wasn''t a sin for me to kill my mother and be born. So, ude-nim wasn''t guilty either. But... it made me think that I was guilty."
"Good."
Nodding her head as if it was the correct answer, Sarah stroked the sleeping ude''s head. A faint azure light leaked from Sarah''s palm. Then the body temperature of the child, which was hot due to the fever, subsided slightly. ude''s wrinkled forehead became more peaceful.
"......Urgh."
However, with her current state, even using a small amount of mana was too much for her, and Sarah bowed her body again and tried to vomit her blood. She would have vomited blood on the nket again if May had not quickly brought her handkerchief to her lips.