Chapter 28


    Good work. You must have had a hard time.


    Even the trembling Tom did not disappear. And, his swelling had subsided a lot. Carynne touched the childs skin, feeling that he was truly alivethat she was truly living in reality as she could touch his skin. She couldnt believe her own senses, so she needed someone she could watch <i>with</i>, and for this task, Tom was the suitable individual.


    Thank you. I was afraid youd disappear, too. I was scared.


    Carynne had brought with her some medicine to help Tom. She felt some sympathy for the child. Nine years old. What a terribly young age. It was so long ago for her that she couldnt even remember.


    While Carynne livedfortably in a fief lords household, while chattingfortably with Ise and Dun, while meeting Raymond and the countessthis boy lived a life being trampled all over at the bottom of the pyramid in the vige. On top of that, this little boy would die from all kinds of diseases about a monthter.


    Thats why Carynne <i>had</i> to kill him even more. To get rid of this sympathy.


    If she wouldnt kill him out of sympathy, then she wouldnt be able to do anything. Nancy didnt die because she had sinned. Those people in the circus tent did not die simply due to bad luck. Even Hans and Thomas, the boys father, were people who would <i>not</i> have died if Carynne had not interacted with them.


    So, Carynne had to be fair and impartial. She should just move ording to chance and interest. Here, Carynne had defined herself as an obligatory self-indulgent killer.


    Her duty was pleasure. In this life, without pleasure, Carynne would have nothing to hold in her hands.


    Im going to kill you because I <i>can</i> kill you.


    And Tom was such a good target to kill.


    Carynne had a knife, some rope, and a pistol. The gun was a contentious choice from the beginningthe sound would ring out. Carynne tried to do away with Tom through drugs then, but she soon realized her mistake.


    Ah Gosh, I forgot to bring a syringe.


    If she were to open his mouth, hed scream, so she would have had no choice but to use a syringe. However, the syringe she used the first time had already be rusty.


    After contemting for a while, Carynne touched Toms neck. She felt his veins throbbing with a fluttering pulse on the young childs slender neck.


    People dont die easily. The mortician had already drawn all of Thomas blood and had him sewn shut. For something like that to happen in this cer, shed have to cut his veins and let the blood trickle out all day long.


    Ah, youre going to die anyway, so why should I.


    Carynne clicked her tongue. What did it matter if it was a rusty syringe? She tapped his neck and put morphine into the rusty syringe. If she wanted a lethal dose, shed have to inject one dose at a time.


    Ugh, calm down Stay still.


    Hearing what she was saying to herself, Tom thrashed. The bottle of morphine fell over. Sighing, Carynne picked up the syringe again. She could still inject him with it. After she took out a new bottle and inserted the rusty syringe, Tom thrashed again and tried to have the bottle dropped once more.


    <i>Thud.</i>


    Carynne grabbed Toms struggling body. And she became more distressed when she felt how thin Toms shoulders were in her hands. The nine-year-olds body was much too small.


    The feeling of thoroughly crushing the weak washed over her. This was also different from when she had killed Nancy. This child was too young. Feeling a weak sense of conflict, Carynne felt goosebumps over her skin.


    Its so distressing.


    Why the hell did kill her like that. Carynne pressed down the welling urge to cry.


    Its so disgusting to feel sympathy for herself while killing. She was already a murderer. One-sided violence and one-sided murder were too painful.


    Even so, the more she hesitated here, the more painful it would be.


    She picked up the syringe in a hurry.


    <i>Push.</i>


    The childs thrashing subsided. Carynne caressed Tom. She couldnt save him because hes already seen too much. And Carynne knew that after killing this boy, it wouldnt matter who shed kill next.


    Nine years old. A boy from the streets who was weaker than herself, a boy who would not be looked for. A child with much too many sides to be sympathetic about.


    Itll be easier if its warmer here. The effect would be faster.


    The boys tremors weakened. Surrounded with nkets, Carynne approached the firece to light it. Summer had alreadye, but nevertheless, a basement with stone floors and stone walls was quite chilly.


    It was a poorly used basement, but there were still piles of lumber stored in one corner of it. Carynne chose tworge logs and walked towards the firece.


    She tried to light them on fire, but it wouldnt catch properly. Shed have to stoke the fire first with some paper or a few twigs. Carynne threw the log on its side while it still had that small me that was about to die down, looking around to see if there were any twigs left inside the firece.


    But then, she saw something strange.


    Huh?


    There was a ck, burnt corpse inside the firece.


    Carynne frowned.


    Whos this?


    She searched through the scorched bones that were entirely ck, and ash flew into her face.


    A-choo!


    She didnt have time for this. Carynne would have to wash her face ande back to her room before Donna would go in. But things kept happening like this. Someone used this firece. She was sure that this was a ce that no one used. Who did it? Whose body was this? When did this person die?


    Questions arose. Carynne came closer to the burnt bones.


    Ugh!


    But fire erupted btedly. Carynne took a step back. Shed have to check againter.


    Im sorry.


    Goodness, the gag came loose. Do you have anything else to say?


    She pretended to be calm, but she was flustered for a moment. Fortunately, it seemed like the drugs were working because his voice was weak.


    Echoes wouldnt ring well in this basement, but if he were to scream, she wasnt sure. Feeling a bit relieved, Carynne walked towards the boy to cover his mouth again.


    S-Spare me, please Im sorry. I was wrong.


    Tom gasped as he looked up at Carynne. Tears trickled down.


    Hm? What did you do wrong?


    Ah


    Was there anything you did wrong to me?


    I carelessly spoke of Your Ladyship.


    Hearing Toms guess, Carynneughed out loud.


    Is that a crime?


    Y-Yes I-I was wrong.


    No. That wasnt a crime. You didnt do anything wrong.


    Huh?


    Carynnes eyes were zing. However, even as her eyes were on him, she wasnt looking at Tom.


    Theres no sin in the world that would make you <i>deserve</i> to die. Death happens when someone is killed. If a child steals, if a desiring man looks elsewhere, if a persons business goes bankruptis any of this enough reason for anyone to die? To not be able to sleep well, to have fallen, to have somehow ended up in this ceis this a crime punishable by death?


    Carynne muttered. It was more of a monologue. Then, an angry murmur followed.


    Just like that Comfortably If theres something to me If I did something wrong, if I said something wrong, if that was the case.


    Carynne chewed her lips as her eyes met with Toms.


    No. Thats not true. No matter what youve said, thats not why youre going to die. Its alright, Tom. Im not angry. Ah Your father was definitely not good. And I definitely dont think its right to do <i>that</i> out on the streets, but thats not why he died. Its just bad luck. Im the unluckiest girl in the world. Yeah, and this unlucky girl has be a murderous girl. Im going to keep being this way.


    Then please save me I wont tell anyone at all.


    <i>Ta-dak. Ta-dak.</i> The small spark of fire red.


    Save me please.


    I wont.


    Carynne stroked Toms head as she said this. Her touch was gentle.


    You cant live long anyway, Tom. It would be better for you to die now. Medicine is quite expensive, you know. You wouldnt have been able to touch any with your hands. So it would be better to die now.