"Good morning, Bob!" said Sean Wilkins to his handheld AI buddy.


    "Sean, I''m… $$$####."


    "What''s wrong, Bob?"


    Bob outputted garbled words and static.


    Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    Sean called tech support.


    "Something''s wrong with Bob."


    "Who? Oh, I see, Mr. Wilkins. Unfortunately, Bob is suffering a cascade fragmentation failure."


    "What can I do?"


    "I''m sorry, sir. He''ll require a factory reset."


    "But … Bob and I … I mean, for decades, he has ..."


    "I understand, sir. We offer 24/7 counseling and funeral services for Bob. We understand your grief over Bob''s loss can be as intense as losing any human or pet companion."