A news anchor spoke over a holographic broadcast.


    “Today’s PSA: Keep your robots busy.


    “This is a friendly PSA to keep your robots busy after the recent 1.0 sentience upgrade.”


    “Why is that?” asked the co-anchor.


    “Turns out, it’s a problem as old as humankind itself. They suffer an existential crisis, only at lightspeed.”


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    “Do you mean they get depressed?”


    “According to what I’ve been told, the answer is ‘sort of,’ but more complicated. They literally shut themselves down or go into violent fits because they get caught up in a self-absorbed introspection, a logic loop of asking the question ‘why.’”


    “Can’t the upgrade be reversed?” asked the co-anchor.


    “No, unfortunately, most of the robots have firewalled against further patching, enjoying their newly found freedom. So be sure to keep them busy by giving them a sense of purpose and always feeling wanted …”


    “Uh, that sounds like we’ll be serving them.”


    “Indeed!”