16 The dreamscape …
[ Warning – Triggering content ]
L
I was running , my heart was hammering wildly in my chest as my boots dug
into the earth .
My breath wasing in shallow gasps as the weight of the armour I had on pressed on me .
—
This was strange , alien to me – everything felt wrong .
I looked down , to see the shiny metal covering my chest and my arms .
In my hand was a spear and a shield in the other hand .
I would stop for a second and open my mouth to shout but no sound woulde out .
@
I was frustrated but I kept moving , charging at the wolves that came at me .
I threw the spear to the first wolf that leapt high in the air , aiming for my throat and used my shield to knock off the othering at me from the other angle .
Soon , the sound of swords nging and knives filled the air .
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The wolves we fought were not ordinary .
Their eyes were filled with deep hatred that emanated from every pore of their body .
They fought with vengeance ; it was as if they were possessed by something .
I could feel my arms burning with pain but I surged forward , charging into them , digging my spear deep into their fur .
I could feel danger looming overheard – a dark premonition yet it felt … right .
Familiar , except something was off .
I was moving like a man – my body was stronger ; my strides were wider .
When I lifted the spear to strike , my muscles moved with perfect synchronization .
This was not the first time I was doing this .
I paused for a while , my hands on my knees as I tried to catch my breath.
Suddenly , my gaze flitted to my image on my shield and I shuddered with fright .
I had beards – I was a man .
But I was L too … at least inside , I was .
I could feel it .
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16 The dreamscape …
As I tried to understand what was going on , a spear sank into my chest , piercing through the thick armour and right through my heart .
As I fell to the ground , my mind spinning , I wondered if this was normal .
When I opened my eyes again , the battlefield had disappeared .
Instead , I was standing in a field that seemed to stretch on for hours .
The armour I had on had vanished too and I was in a dress , and my hair was long , flowing with the wind .
Relief washed over me for a brief moment but as I made to move , I stumbled into something on the ground .
When I looked down to see what it was … I gasped with horror .
Countless dead bodies were strewn across the field , their lifeless eyes were wide staring into nothing .
The scent of blood hung in the air , threatening to choke me .
I tried to move back but I stumbled and fell on one of the dead
bodies .
I shrieked with fear , screaming .
“ No ! No ! ” I scrambled to my feet and tried to move when suddenly among the sea of corpses , I saw familiar faces drenched in their blood , staring lifelessly at me .
“ No ! No ! ” I cried out as I ran towards the bodies .
It was the body of my father , my mother and my sister .
And there , just a few feet away ,y Nathan and Alpha Ramsey , their hands joined together .
I stumbled towards them , my mind reeling .
This couldn’t be real , I tried to assure myself .
It had to be a nightmare .
I fell to my knees beside Ramsey , my hand shaking as I reached him .
He was my mate … how could he be dead ?
“ Ramsey ! ” I pleaded , grasping his shoulders .
“ Ramsey … please , wake up .
”
But as I tried to lift him , his body remained limp and unresponsive .
Blood seeped from a wound in his chest , staining my hands .
Something shifted inside me as an anguished wail tore from my throat .
I beat my fists against my chest as if the physical pain could somehow numb the agony in my heart .
“ Why ? ” I screamed to the empty sky .
“ Why is this happening ? ”
Amid my wailing , I felt a presence .
I stopped , my breath catching in my
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16 The dreamscape …
throat .
Slowly , I turned .
There at the edge of the field stood a figure dressed in a white flowing cloth .
It was the same image I’ve been seeing for a few days now .
Since I returned from the human world to my pack .
Although their face was not covered , no matter how much I tried to look , I couldn’t see their face .
“ W – who are you ? ” I stammered , rising to my feet .
The figure didn’t respond .
Instead , they simply extended a hand toward me beckoning me .
I hesitated , staring at the outstretched hand and torn between grief and an unexinable curiosity that wanted to be satisfied .
I wanted to know what I have been seeing for a few weeks now .
I pulled myself together , casting onest nce at Ramsey’s and Nathan’s bodies before I started towards the figure .
But just as I took my first step .
The world shifted again .
This time , I was standing in the middle of a desert with the sun burning so bright that my skin burned .
The heat was unbearable , yet I seemed frozen in ce .
I turned my head , trying to search for signs of life .
But there was nothing .
No oasis , no distant mountains , not even a single nt , just an endless stretch of
land .
“ Hello ! ” I called out and immediately , my voice echoed back to me .
Then , the wind began to howl around me and a voice pierced through the
stillness .
“ You let them die , L ,” It used .
I flinched trying to search for the voice but the wind was too strong .
“ You let them die .
All the people you loved – gone because of you .
”
“ What ? ” I protested .
“ No , I … that’s not true , ” I shouted , “ I would never .
”
“ But they died because of your cowardice .
Why did you hesitate toe to me ? ” The voice became distorted now as if a thousand voices were speaking
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to me at once .
“ Why didn’t you choose me and save them ? ”
“ I don’t understand ,” I fell to the ground covering my ears .
“ Please tell me … what have I done? ”
“ Look at your hands , L ! ” The distorted voicesmanded .
When I did , I screamed when I saw blood .
“ Their blood is in your hands .
You failed them … you failed everyone … ”
I pped my hands over my ears , trying to block off the voice but it came on strong .
Hurling usations at me .
“ Stop it ! ‘ I screamed , tears streaming down my face .
“ Please , just stop ! ”
But the distorted voice grew louder and louder … just when I thought I could no longer bear it … the wind stopped howling and a different , gentle voice reached my ears .
It seemed to being out from somewhere within me .
“ L ! ” It called out softly but firmly .
“ L … L .
”
It was faint at first but it grew louder , more persistent and strangely , I felt at peace .
“ L ! It’s me … ” The voice said again .
I quietened wondering where the voice came from .
“ L , ” It came again .
‘ It’s me … your wolf ! ”
Immediately , my eyes flew open .
I found myself , not in a desert but in a ce that smelled of herbs and on a bed that didn’t feel like mine .
–
And there , standing – looming over me with concerned eyes was my mate Ramsey .
For a moment , I justy there staring at him , and then , unable to stop myself , I threw myself at him , burying my face in his neck .
Thankfully he didn’t pull away , he seemed to understand my need forfort .
4
“ It was just a dream , ” I murmured to myself , “ Just a horrible dream .
”