84 Die and be done with it .


    L D


    I should get used to disgrace by now but as I walked away feeling the thousand pair of eyes on my back, I knew that I would never get used to this , no matter how much I tried .


    Maybe , I should just die and be done with it .


    I walked until I could no longer hear the murmurs of those around me or see the pity in their eyes .


    I still didn’t stop until I reached a small copse of trees hidden from view .


    Only then , did I allow myself to break .


    Everything inside me shattered .


    The sobs came violently , shaking my entire body .


    I pressed my back against a rough tree trunk and slid to the ground .


    Not caring about my clothes or dignity as tears dripped down my face in torrents .


    My mother’s words kept echoing in my head .


    Not my daughter .


    Wicked .


    Worthless .


    Abomination .


    I touched my cheek where the ps hadnded , feeling the heat of broken blood vessels beneath my skin .


    But the pain paled inparison to the heartache I felt .


    I had known , somewhere deep inside , that choosing Nathan would have consequences .


    But this ?


    Thisplete rejection , this public denouncement ? And this was not the first time .


    z


    If my mother hated me so much , why did she give birth to me ? What on earth did I do to her to always get this hostile treatment ?


    My sobs quietened .


    I inhaled and exhaled deeply .


    Once I’m done with whatever burial rites they needed me to do for my father , I’ll round them up as fast as I can and head back to my life .


    Back in the human world … I mattered , I was an important person .


    A valuable member of my work team , a good student at school , a good neighbour and Paul … he …


    That was when I remembered that I had yet to reply to his text .


    Quickly , I took out my phone from my pocket , wiping the tears from my eyes as a ghost smile appeared on my lips .


    This humiliation is nothingpared to what I’d had suffered 3 years and six months ago .


    I would give Paul a chance if he asks me out and hope our rtionship grows into something beautiful .


    Maybe , I might start a family ….


    No ! I shook my head at thest bit .


    No children .


    I didn’t want any child of mine to suffer the same fate as me .


    In the human world , men are fond of keeping their boundaries .


    You could be in a rtionship and still act like an independent entity .


    So , even if I told Paul that I didn’t want children , he would understand .


    Male humans will go to any length for the woman they love .


    Sighing with satisfaction , I opened his message and typed back a reply .


    84 Die and be done with it .


    few minutes , texting him and smiling like a fool .


    He was a charmer .


    I was enjoying my texting when a call from Nanny came in .


    I took it immediately .


    “ Hii … ” I said happily .


    Being here in the bush with the sweet night air blowing at me warmly must have caused the pain to dissipate from my heart .


    I was happy .


    “ You sound excited ? ” Nanny observed .


    “ Not exactly the report I got .


    Are you alright dear ? ”


    “ Very fine and I had a feeling Nathan would call you .


    ” I sighed .


    “ I just had a little quarrel with my mom earlier but it’ll be fine .


    Did Nathan tell you he’s now an Alpha ? ”


    “ He didn’t mention that ! ” Nanny chuckled “ He was so busy freaking out when he called me .


    “ So , did he propose yet ? ”


    I blushed at the question .


    “ Why would you even say that ? I told you nothing can happen between me and him .


    We’re best friends and we’re not involved like that .


    ”


    “ You did , true but you can’t speak on his behalf too .


    Have you seen the way he smoulders you with his look whenever you’re not looking ; with eyes filled with lust , love , passion and everything a woman wants .


    ”


    “ You need to get your eyes checked .


    Nathan is not like that , Nan … ”


    “ Sure , sure , she teased “ Just make sure you’re never behind a closed door with him .


    I know your mate was a Lycan and their thing is big but I heard Werewolves are quite different .


    They’re the masters of sex and … ” 1


    “ E … Nanny … ” I blurted wrinkling my face in irritation .


    “ Why are we talking about sex on the phone ? What kind of example are you setting for me ? ”


    “ You’re not a virgin , L and you’re 23.


    Believe it or not , I wish one of these days , you’ll show up to the house pregnant or something .


    You’re too reserved for a young woman .


    When was thest time you gotid ? Or even kissed ? ”


    Nathan !


    My memory shed his name .


    Nathan was thest time I got kissed .


    I blushed deeply , suddenly feeling ashamed as though if I continued with this conversation I might get exposed .


    “ Okay , I’m getting off now .


    I can’t stand you when you’re feisty .


    By the way … did you meet your friends ? ”


    Nanny had travelled with us but had gone to Golden Gates pack to visit friends .


    Since she didn’t want my mother’s wrath .


    “ Yeah ! A lot of catching up to do .


    Now , go and find , Nathan … he’s calling again and I’m sure he’s worried and if he proposes and you’re unsure about it … just seduce him and make love to him .


    Sex is like a … ”


    “ Goodnight ! ” I interrupted her and ended the call before she could say something else .


    I took in a deep breath , trying to still my pounding heart .


    I’ve been celibate for more than three years now and I want to keep it like that .


    It’s not because of Nathan … but Ramsey .


    Ever since Lenny and I had the conversation , I keep getting hot shes of our first time together .


    84 Die and be done with it .


    +35


    And to think that I could remake that memory again , with me back to this world ….


    Frightened me .


    I didn’t want to be thinking about sex and Ramsey .


    Sighing , I rose to my feet , cleaning off the debris of sand from my clothes .


    I needed to go home .


    As I took a step towards the direction I hade , the air grew colder and the wind stop blowing .


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    The air became still … the kind of stillness that sent goosebumps all over my body .


    It felt as if someone wasing … as if someone was watching me .


    Then I heard approaching footsteps .


    Loud and distinct … I held my breath , swallowing hard as my heart hammered against my ribs .


    The footsteps whoever it was suddenly stopped at the edge of the trees and waited….


    I waited to , unable to move … above me , through the branches , the moon hung full and bright Was this another Feral attack ? Did they know I was here now ?


    Suddenly , the shrubs in front of me ttened as a familiar face appeared .


    “ L … ”