89 Emptiness that leaves you drained …


    L


    “ You killed him , ” rissa echoed again , her eyes shooting daggers at me .


    I stared at her , totally stunned while my heart hammered against my ribcage trying to process .


    her words .


    The usation hit me – stinging deeper than anything I’d ever expected to hear from


    her .


    “ What ? ” I whispered , hoping my voice was steady enough .


    “ How could you … Why would you even say that ? ”


    “ Why would I even say that ? ” she repeated with a sneer , closing the distance between us until we were nearly nose to nose .


    Her eyes , which were the colour of my father’s shone with anger .


    “ Your father has just died , L , ” she should be with your family , mourning with us but


    spat .


    “ You here you are running away as usual .


    You only care about yourself and when things don’t work .


    out , you y the victim .


    ”


    I stared at rissa , with my eyes wide open .


    For as long as I can remember , my family has seen me as an outsider – a stain on the family’s name .


    My presence was tolerated , barely , yet now , after all these years , they dared to use me of running away ?


    They dared to use me of not sympathizing enough with them when I never felt like at daughter .


    The usation ignited resentment that I’d kept hidden for years and I exploded .


    “ Running away ? ” I repeated , taking a step towards risa , my tone rising .


    “ Yes , I am running away because that’s the only thing I was forced to learn , the only thing I know how to do better .


    What else was I supposed to do ? When you all acted like I didn’t exist .


    ” My fists clenched as I struggled to contain my anger .


    “ For four years , Rissa … no one bothered if I was alive or dead .


    Now you expect me to feel sympathy over the loss of a man who disowned me ? A man who was ashamed to even call me his daughter ? You think I should mourn him like he was a loving father ? ”


    I watched as her face contorted with shock at my outburst , but I couldn’t stop now .


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    “ And you know what ? I’m not sorry that he died .


    I don’t even feel sympathetic over the loss .


    If anything , I feel relieved that I don’t have anyone breathing down my neck , demanding that I should be


    perfect .


    ”


    The scorn on rissa’s face slowly disappeared as she stared at me with disbelief .


    “ Y – You don’t really mean that ? ” she stuttered .


    “ I rarely say things that I don’t mean .


    I am not sorry Father died but that doesn’t mean I’m happy either .


    It means I don’t care .


    If I tell you half of the things I’ve done to survive ? The things that happened to me out there while you were here , loungingfortably as the Alpha’s daughter .


    Please … I cannot share in your pain .


    ”


    89 Emptiness that leaves you drained .


    .


    Her eyes misted with tears as she stared at me , not saying anything .


    After a few seconds , she shook her head , swallowing hard.


    “ You left us , L .


    No one asked you to leave , Dad and Mom said they had no hand in that .


    You disowned us as a family but never in a million years did Father think you are not his daughter .


    If anything , he …


    “ Please , Rissa , ” I stopped her mid – sentence .


    “ I won’t ept any exnation for a watered – down love .


    Father never liked me and neither did any of you and that’s okay .


    I’m here only to perform my duties and when I’m done , I’ll leave and stop existing .


    ”


    “ Ande back when mom dies ? ” She fired back .


    “ Maybe , but I doubt she would want me to attend her funeral .


    She stared at me for a few more seconds then turned away , clearly done with the conversation


    but I wasn’t finished .


    I reached out , grabbing her arm before she could leave .


    “ Wait ! ” I demanded .


    “ Tell me why you were using me of killing him .


    I need to know .


    ”


    “ Like you care ? ”


    “ I don’t but it’s enough that my reputation is nothing to write home about but I can’t let it go to tatters while I’m here .


    So tell me , how did I kill him ? ”


    She whipped her head around , eyes shing with hurt .


    “ Because he has been licking Alpha Ramsey’s ass to stop him from looking for you .


    ”


    “ What are you talking about ? ” I eyed her warily .


    “ The Lycan Leader went into a frenzy when you left .


    From locking Nathan up in the dungeon and alwaysing here demanding that Father must provide a way to contact you , Dad was constantly doing all he could to make him forget you .


    He went to the Annual Moon Goddes celebration to please Alpha Ramsey … he wasn’t supposed to go … ”


    She trailed off as a tear rolled down her cheek .


    “ He hoped that if he showed support , Alpha Ramsey would stop looking for you .


    ”


    “ What is the meaning of these lies ? Have you stopped low to the extent that you now spin tales ? ”


    ‘ t gone t


    “ They’re not tales , L ,” she said vehemently .


    “ If he the celebration … If you hadn’t run away in the first ce … ” she yanked her wrist free my my grip , rubbing it as if my touch had burned her .


    “ But somehow , you managed to drag him down with you , just like the way you ruined Nathan’s life .


    ”


    “ You’re wrong , ” I whispered with a hollow voice .


    “ You have no idea what you’re talking about .


    I didn’t think he would do that .


    So , you don’t get to do this .


    To force me to take responsibility for his choice .


    He made a choice and followed it through until the end .


    ”


    t gone of


    “ Oh , don’t act innocent , L ,” she spat, cutting me off .


    “ If you hadn’t drawn attention to yourself , maybe he would still be alive .


    ”


    89 Emptiness that leaves you drained …


    My heart ached but I clenched my fists , refusing to let her guilt – trip me .


    “ No ,” I said quietly .


    “ He was trying to protect his reputation .


    His position .


    His perfect family image .


    I’m sorry he’s dead .


    I’m sorry you’re hurting .


    But I won’t carry the guilt for his decisions ”


    “ As if … ” she sneered .


    “ Fine .


    Belive whatever you want ,” I said exhaustion seeping into my words .


    “ But don’t you dare use me of something I had no control over ? I didn’t kill him and I certainly didn’t ask for any of this .


    ”


    rissa crossed her arms , ring at me .


    “ Convenient , isn’t it ? You always manage to deflect me .


    ”


    Anger sparked in my chest again .


    But I took a deep breath , struggling to keep myposure .


    “ And what good would that do me ? What will I gain from doing that ? I’m just telling the truth .


    You can’t keep ming me for everything that goes wrong .


    ”


    “ Is this what you call the truth ? You wouldn’t know the truth if it hit you in the face .


    You’re a disgrace , L .


    Nothing you do will ever change that .


    ”


    I blinked , steeling my heart .


    I shouldn’t hurt , I told myself , not after all these years .


    But it did .


    Like old scars that never healed .


    a


    I took a step back , letting out a shaky breath .


    “ You know what , Rissa ? I don’t care anymore .


    Think what you want .


    me me for whatever makes you feel better .


    I’m done trying to prove myself to you or anyone else in this family .


    ”


    Her scowl deepened but she said nothing , turning away as though the sight of me was offensive .


    I watched her go , suddenly feeling lonely like the first day I’d left Blue Ridge ….


    I wanted to feel anger , to wrap myself in it like armour , but all I felt was hollow , a gaping emptiness that left me drained .