133 Pessimist stuck in the past ….


    L Iy sprawled on the cold floor , its chill seeping into my bones as I stared into the darkness that shrouded the room like a cloak .


    I dont know how long Ive been here ; all I remember was meeting Xander in the room of my former house and then opening my eyes to this darkness .


    How had I ended up here again ? How had Ie back to the human world so fast ? Was this a dream ? I didnt think so , because Ive been sleeping and waking up and doing everything I would normally in real life and Xander feels so real too .


    I sighed , stretchingzily , not bothering to cover up the threadbare nket I was given .


    Iy quietly , thinking about what kind of food would be served to meter tonight , my inability to do anything but just wait was making me ravenous .


    Suddenly , the voice that wouldnt leave me alone filtered into my consciousness again .


    L .


    I didnt move , I didnt react .


    The voice as always would start with a low murmur that would gradually increase in volume and intensity .


    It was neither male nor female , neither young nor old just a sound that seemed toe from somewhere within me .


    L , it said .


    Then again .


    L .


    What ? I sighed with irritation .


    If someone doesnt want to answer you , you should take it as a hint and leave them alone .


    Can you just leave me the fuck alone ? Please ! There was a slight pause from its end .


    For a moment , I thought it had disappeared but then it came again .


    I know being alone and in this void is making you irritable , so , Im going to let that slide this once .


    I ignored it , turning my head slightly to the side .


    The chill from the cold floor seeped into my cheek , grounding me in the emptiness I now called my existence .


    L , you need to listen to me , the voice insisted .


    Go away , I muttered hoarsely .


    No , I wont , the voice snapped .


    We have to find a way out of here before its not toote .


    I scoffed , my lips curling into a dryugh .


    Toote ? I repeated bitterly .


    Its already toote .


    Xander has me , theres nothing I can do .


    There is no escape .


    Dont say that ! the voice protested , sounding frustrated .


    Theres always a way .


    You just need to be strong .


    Strong ? I let out a mirthlessugh .


    Im lying on the floor of this cold room and I cant even see .


    I have no strength left .


    C 123 Pessimisti Then make a deal with him , the voice urged again .


    Eblinked , surprised by the suggestion .


    A deal ? I repeated as if I wanted to be sure I wasnt hearing things .


    Yes , the voice said .


    , Anything to get out of here .


    Bargain with him , trick him- do whatever it takes , anything to get out of this room especially You think hell give me an audience long enough to listen to my deal ? I hurt Xander a long time ago , he hasnt brought it up yet but just waiting here , unable to do anything is killing me .


    I wish he would just mention what happened and put my mind at ease .


    Youre just being a coward , L , the voice hissed .


    I went silent for a while , wondering if I wasnt losing my mind because of how long Ive been cooped up here and the voice … Who are you ? I asked .


    Youve been here for a long time and you piss me off every day .


    What are you ? Who sent you ? There was a slight hesitation , followed by a deep sigh as if it was disappointed .


    You dont recognize me ? No , I said tly .


    If I did I wouldnt be asking Im your wolf .


    I began tough slowly at first , until my entire body wracked from myughter , when I was done , I dabbed at the tears at the corner of my eyes and tried to sound serious .


    Rubbish ! I finally responded .


    Thats impossible .


    I dont have a wolf .


    The High Priestess confirmed it herself .


    Moonsingers do not have wolves .


    The voice sighed again , this time there was a hint of sadness .


    You dont understand , L and theres not enough time to exin it to you but youre part of two worlds .


    Moreplex than anyone can understand .


    Complex ? Techoed .


    You mean nonexistent .


    Ive never felt you before except in the dream world .


    Never heard you before now and … I trailed off as I realization struck me .


    If I could talk to this voice iming to be my wolf , it would only mean one thing .


    I was in a dream .


    I bolted upright , staring into the pitch darkness wishing I had light .


    Slowly everything came back to me .


    I was standing in the shallow depths of White Lake holding hands with Nanny and then , when I opened my eyes , I was here .


    So , this must mean , all of this is happening in my dreams , right ? I think I know what to do , I just need to wake up .


    I think I must have fallen asleep during the cleansing at White Lake because the only time I can talk to you is only in the dream world .


    Its not going to be as easy as waking up , L .


    You didnt fall asleep .


    This is different but help you .


    The Dark One doesnt know you have a wolf and you must keep me hidden .


    I dont understand .


    I furrowed my brows .


    And how will you help me ? You just need to find a way to get out of this room and you need to leave this realm as soon as possible else itll really be bad .


    He severed your link to the High Priestess but dont worry , Ive always been here , waiting for the chance to help you and to manifest to you finally You said he severed my connection to the Mother Liora ? I think thats the name of the High Priestess , No the wolf said .


    The other one , whom you were holding hands with .


    Shes a High Priestess too and … Nanny ? I snorted , trying to hold back myughter .


    Nice try but thats impossible .


    Nanny is anything but a High Priestess .


    I mean , maybe shes … This is killing me .


    the wolf muttered Theres so much you dont know L and I promise youll find all the answers but first , we must leave this realm .


    I leaned back on the wall .


    Why bother ? Im already lost .


    I cant take out Xander again and Nanny is not here unless youre nning to jump out of my body .


    Thats not how it works ! she sighed .


    Youre not lost , youre trapped and theres a difference ….


    big difference .


    I can help you find a way out .


    I was gradually losing interest but I had the decency to ask .


    How ? First , you need to believe in me , the wolf said .


    You need to trust that Im real .


    That were real .


    I dont do this but part of the reason why Ive been locked away for so long is because youre such a pessimist who is stuck in the past .


    You dont hope for anything , you do not desire anything equally .


    You dont take anything serious and you think just surviving is all you need but L … you have a great responsibility to y … Here we go again ! I murmured .


    Can you all give me a break from this endless drumming into my ears about responsibilities that I didnt choose ? I dont want this … I dont want to save any of them .


    Not after what they did to me .


    I cant .


    So you want revenge Youd rather watch everyone die than do your job and save our world ? Its not our … its their world .


    They rejected me and Im not interested ining back as a hero .


    I dont want to and I wont .


    Yeah , because the world is such a fair ce ! the wolf scoffed .


    Listen , L … I know you carry a lot of hurt but if you let it consume you , it bes your darkness , the exact thing the Dark One would prey on .


    I know you were humiliated and offended all your life because of your pheromones , guess what … youre going to have it for the longest time until you die .


    What ? Yes ! That is your power .


    Youre strongest when your pheromones are seeping into the air .


    You do not just have those for the sexual exploration of it .


    Of course , you can learn to control it and harness it properly to the extent that no one would know when youre on your heat but … Im sorry , you have to step up to your responsibilities .


    People will die … our world … everyone you love … Ramsey , Nathan , your mom , your sister … every single person would die … only you can save them .


    Im not sure I can do that .


    What youre asking from me is too huge .


    wait thats why youre made up of two worlds .


    Theres me and then theres your power as a übersinger über the cleansing .


    Ie to you but first , you must give me a name , the wolf thought youre supposed toe with one .


    Thats how other wolves manifest to their Tim not ocher wolves .


    I am a fusion between silver moon and golden sun .


    I was not created by the Moon Goddess like other woes … well technically wasnt Just a happenstance of two individuals who lost control and had you So.


    I do not have a name .


    The reason why the High Priestess could name … sense me .


    My presence is different .


    But that doesnt make me any less real .


    Give me a pressed my palms against the cold floor , grounding myself as I processed the words .


    But before I could respond a faint creak echoed through the room .


    My body stiffened as I turned my head toward the sound .


    The door was opening Light spilled into the room , silhouetting a tall figure that sent a chill down my spine .


    Xander entered stalling over to me like a cat .


    The door closed behind him , plunging us back into darkness except for the faint glow of his amber eyes .


    Well well be dranded , his voice smooth and cold .


    Look whos awake .


    134 its either me or Ramsay ..