161 The promise … L When I arrived at my room , the warm scent ofvender greeted me .
Nanny was there , smoothing the wrinkles from my bedspread .
The windows and curtains were open to let in light.
and a cool breeze .
The entire room looked sparkling and brand new .
She looked up as I entered , her face lighting up with a smile .
Done with training already ? she asked surprisingly gently .
I blinked .
I expected her to scold me for going to train barely hours after recovering .
Yes , I nodded , staring at her cautiously .
Good ! she nodded and returned to her task , humming softly to herself .
I stood there for a few minutes , hoping she would snap at me , but she didnt .
She must have noticed I was still there because she looked up again .
Did you want something ? she asked .
No , I shook my head .
The maids would have cleaned the room .
Youre at that age when you shouldnt be bending so much .
Thats a wonderful way to say thank you , she murmured without looking at me .
I raised you well .
Thats not what I mean , Nan , I sighed .
I feel so bad that youre cleaning my room .
I can do that .
* Ive always cleaned your room whenever you recover from an illness and back when we still lived together .
Its something I enjoy doing taking care of you ! Im 23.
You dont have to do that anymore .
Why ? she paused , straightening .
Because youre still the messiest 23 year old I know .
I saw dirty clothes under your bed and unspreadundry in your bathroom .
Not to talk of your clothes .
are not properly arranged in your wardrobe .
Who knows , that might have caused the illness .
Nan ! Iughed despite myself .
You sound like my mother .
She didnt answer ; she was fluffing my pillows now .
So … youre not going to say anything about me , training ? I know youre angry .
You should scold me now thanter .
She gave me a once over and continued with her fluffing .
I wish I were y , but Im not .
Ive realized that I spend half my energy running after you, begging you to eat healthy , asking you to document your heat so your pheromones dont take you unawares , arguing with you about your choices … but you dont listen .
Im going to let you do whatever you want to do .
Be my guest if 11:56 1/4 161 The promise She gave me a once over and continued with her fluffing .
I wish I were angry , but Im not .
Ive realized that I spend half my energy running after you , begging you to eat healthy , asking you to document your heat so your pheromones dont take you unawares , arguing with you about your choices … but you dont listen .
Im going to let you do whatever you want to do .
Be my guest if you want to train barely five hours after recovering .
I wont stop you from killing yourself .
I stifled anotherugh .
Why was she being so dramatic today ? I crossed the room to where she was and hugged her from behind , wrapping my hand around her waist .
They were light training , and Gamma Theo was worried that you might beat him , so he ensured I didnt overdo it .
Dont worry , Nan … nothing will happen to me .
She nodded , but I didnt miss the sadness in her eyes .
Have you thought about going back to our lives ? Dont you think weve been here for too long ? I snugged deeper into her , sighing as her soothing scent calmed my nerves .
Thats what I thought , but these days , Im beginning to feel like I will miss all of these if I go .
Plus , Nathan hasnt been coronated yet , and I promised … Do you even have any ns of leaving ? she interrupted me , turning to face me and causing me to take a step back .
Nan , please , not this Nathan … again .
They need me here .
I told you .
Ive decided to take on the role , and I want you to put yourself first for once , L , she interrupted me again before returning to her task .
Maybe youd see that youre not needed here .
ant us to I didnt say anything .
This was not the first time she had brought this up , and I didnt want fight .
Something was clearly wrong with her , and I wished she would tell me .
T II go shower really quick , I said instead , escaping to the bathroom .
After showering , I entered the room and dried my hair with a towel .
Nanny was still there .
She sat at the edge of my bed , her expression nk as she stared into nothing .
She looked sad … , and the aura around her felt miserable , but I didnt know how to ask .
Im not good with things like that .
So , I cleaned my body and put onfy clothes .
When I was done , I sat down at my vanity table to do my hair .
Immediately , Nanny came to me , cing a small gift box on the table before she stood behind What is that ? I plodded gently .
A little gift , she replied .
Its a few weeks before your birthday .
Consider it an early birthday gift .
Oh ! I smiled at her .
Thank you .
Reaching for the gift box , I opened it and gasped with shock when I saw a string of tiny white .
11:50 124 161 The promise When I saw them .
Nanny smiled behind me , tears glistening in her eyes .
They reminded me of you from when you were a baby .
You were so beautiful … even now … much more and … a tear rolled down her check .
Do you like it ? I nodded , wondering what was making Nanny so sad .
I love it .
Can you put them on for me ? She nodded and took the pearls from me .
I noticed that she was trying so hard to control the tears now .
I watched as she sped the ne around my neck .
As soon as the pearls rested against my skin , they fitted perfectly , and a strange dizziness washed over me .
I gripped the edge of the vanity , the room swimming for a moment before clearing .
When I looked up .
I caught Nannys reflection in the mirror .
The tears wereing in torrents now .
I turned immediately , sping her hand .
Nan , whats wrong ? Have I done something to upset you ? Im sorry .
She shook her head quickly , a trembling smile on her lips as she cupped my face with both hands .
No , darling .
Its nothing , dear .
Just … tears of joy .
You were in aa for two days , and I was so scared .
Im d youre back .
After she said that , she pulled me into a tight hug ; her whole body was trembling as she held me , sobbing loudly now .
Her hug felt different desperate , as if she was holding onto something precious that might slip away .
I let her hold me until she was spent .
When she finally pulled back , her hands lingered on my shoulders .
Her expression was sombre now , and her cheeks still had tear stains .
Promise me something , Ly … she said with a shaky voice .
Anything at all , I replied without hesitation , even though I was caught off guard .
* If … in the future … you find out that Ive lied to you about certain things , kept secrets from you , that Ive not been entirely truthful about many things … she paused as her eyes filled up with tears again .
Promise me youll find it in your heart to forgive me .
I blinked , taken aback .
Nan , what are you talking about ? Just promise me , she insisted , her grip on my shoulder tightening slightly .
Was she worried I would be angry if I found out about her Sigma status ? Guilt tugged at my chest as I imagined the burden she must have carried , keeping such a secret .
I wish I could tell her more than anything that I knew some parts , at least .
But I wanted her to tell me herself .
I didnt want to take that away from her .
I promise , I said softly , covering her hand with mine .
Youve done so much for me .
I could never hold anything against you .
She broke into another heartbroken sob , managing a smile through her tears .
Thank much .
you so I leaned forward wranning her in another hug You dont need to worry ..
? I murmured 161 The promise … But as I held a sobbing Nanny again , a small nagging voice in the back of my mind wondered if there was more to it that I didnt know , as though there was a truth looming just out of my reach .
I pushed the thought aside .
I made a promise , and I would stand by whatever came .