181 Sex is Sex is not love … L It was meant as a joke , honestly but in the next instant , Nannys countenance changed .


    Her face which had been lit with a smile a moment ago , went dull .


    She lowered her gaze and refused to meet my eyes .


    You should go now ! she murmured And you could tell him that youre tired .


    Im sure he wont force you , she added again , before walking away .


    I stood there for a few minutes , watching her leave , wondering if I had gone too far with the joke .


    It was harmless and honestly , I didnt think shed react to it like that .


    I meant nothing more .


    Shrugging , I started towards the pack house .


    Veering off to the quarters where Nathan was lodged .


    Before I entered his room , I slipped the tablet into my back pocket before knocking .


    The door flew open immediately .


    Nathan didnt look , please .


    I was beginning to think you wonte .


    Im sorry , my love , I said brightly , walking past him inside the room .


    There was a low table in the middle of the room decorated with coloured candles and some lover centrepieces .


    There was a small wine bucket too , and two sses on the table .


    There was a food tray by the corner that was still covered up .


    On a special night like this , we should be together , heined again , pouting .


    In a bid to broker peace , I went up to him , wounding my hands around his neck .


    Im sorry , babe .


    We got carried away girl talk .


    His hands rested on my waist as he pulled me closer .


    If I kiss you , Ill feel better .


    My heart dropped .


    The position I was with him currently , was giving the kind of vibes he wanted , coupled with the ambience of the room .


    Everything screamed I WANT YOU .


    I nodded .


    He didnt need to be told twice , he gathered me into his arms as his lips pressed into mine .


    His hands roamed my body with such urgency , that made me wonder if I would leave his room with my clothes still intact .


    His hands found the side zipper of the ceremonial gown I had on and he unzipped it without breaking contact .


    I could feel him losing control .


    The dress was too long or maybe intricated for him to thug down , so he let it go .


    Instead , he lifted me into his arms , kissing my neck , and undoing his buttons .


    He dropped me gently on the bed before shrugging This shirt .


    My heart was pounding wildly in my chest as I tried to think of a way to solve this problem .


    He tugged at his trousers until they joined the small heap of clothes he had started .


    I took in a shaky breath , as I drank the sight of him .


    Toned muscles rippled and gleamed in the glow of the candlelight but that wasnt all , his erection stood tall and proud , feeling like a long and thick extension of his body .


    Ive not been with a man since Ramsey That aside , I had zero idea of what to do with a man .


    Maybe , if I tried to give him pleasure first , hed get tired and let me go .


    As soon as the thought just crossed my mind , he was already next to me .


    His fingers found my bra hook and he was already undoing it .


    Wait ! I rested my hand on his arms .


    His gaze had darkened with desire but he managed to turn and look at me .


    The wine … my throat is parched He didnt say anything .


    He crossed the room in quick strides and came back with the bottle of wine and two sses .


    He had a sheepish grin on his face as he sat next to me and broke the seal .


    So sorry about that , we need to toast to us .


    He finished working the seal and poured a moderate amount into the sses before we clinked it together , congratting ourselves .


    Just as I finished thest drop of my wine , he came to me again .


    Nathan ! I said quietly .


    Can we not do ? He was working the side zipper and was already huffing in .


    frustration but he paused .


    Not this again , L … he sighed and cupped my face .


    Darling , please … Ill burst if I dont have you .


    please … I want you so badly … I nodded .


    I know and I … w want you just as much I stuttered .


    That was a lie .


    Its just that , Im tired and can you just wait a bit … please … He stared at me for a few seconds and then rose to his feet , picking up his discarded pants and slipping them on .


    Are you angry with me ? I asked in a tiny voice .


    Im not angry at you , L ; he nced at me before picking his shirt and slipping it on .


    Neither am I happy with you .


    I also will not force you to do what you dont want to .


    Its fine .


    He started walking to the door .


    But youre leaving ? I was still on his bed .


    And youre not happy , Nathan Im leaving because I dont trust myself to be in the same room as you .


    Second , I am not happy .


    L .


    I have desires and wants plus Im crazy about you .


    Its normal for me to want to pour out these emotions physically Sex is not love ! The words slipped out of my mouth unintentionally .


    When I looked up , he was staring at me with disbelief on his face .


    Dont make this about , Ramsey , please , though his voice was still a whisper , I could feel the hardness behind it .


    Can we just go for a day without him being invisible in our rtionship ? You cannot use your experience from him and conclude that … Thats not what I meant , Nathan .


    Cmon , I was just making a statement and youre bringing Sex is not love Ramsey into our conversation and not me .


    I told you ; I have nothing to do with him again .


    Were history ! Okay ! he said quietly .


    Ill take your word for it .


    Im going for a run .


    Without waiting for a reply from me , he slipped out of his room .