194 Baby mama … Im sure if Nathan had told me he was an alien , a vampire , or even some wizard and had magically produced a wand and was waving it at me , it wouldnt have been as shocking as what he was asking me to do ..
I stared at him , with my mouth hanging open in disbelief .
The words hed just spoken suspended between us like bad breath .
Youre asking me to do WHAT ? I demanded , my voice rising with the sheer ridiculousness .
He sighed heavily , running a hand through his hair .
We would do anything to be with each other right ? Isnt that what this is all about ? I want to be with you and Im trying to suggest ….
To suggest ? I repeated staring at him .
What exactly do you take me for , Nathan ? Some kind of baby making machine ? Is that all I am you ? Do you think the solution to all our problems is for me to get pregnant ? I dont even know who I am anymore , Nathan .
My identity is in a mess , its jumbled … L , just listen … NO ! I thundered po my index finger at him .
You listen ! One minute , my mother the woman whom Ive called mother all my life was rejecting me telling me that I destroyed her family and her home and I was a child born out of wedlock .
The next , another group of deranged men or Alphas or whatever it is telling me that I am a murderer and youre here asking me to get pregnant ? Are you okay ? Stop being sentimental for once in your life , L .
Youre an adult … And so , I get an automatic pass into swallowing down surprises like this ? Realizing that everybody around me has lied and has been lying to me all my life .
Do you think this is the way Ive envisioned my future ? To be stopped from getting married on my supposed wedding day ? L , YOURE NOT LISTENING … Nathan growled .
His eyes were shing with irritation and anger .
Oh , Im listening , perfectly well ! I cut him off , I was shouting now .
What I cant understand you is why youre dragging an innocent child into this mess .
Have youpletely lost it ? He took in a deep breath , waving his hand catingly at me .
If youd just let me exin , he sighed .
There was desperation and exhaustion on his face .
If theres a baby- our baby before the coronation , I can reject rissa .
I can marry you instead .
No one will question it and we can be together .
Its the perfect solution … For a moment , the room became quiet except for the rapid beat of my pounding heart in my cars .
and then Nathans filled with agitation .
Then , I doubled asughter bubbled up my throat .
It was loud and bitter echoing off the walls of the room .
Iughed until tears gathered in the corners of my eyes but there was no atom of humor in the sound .
Nathan just stood there staring at me in exasperation .
10:20 104 Baby mama Perfect solution ? I repeatedly mockingly .
So , I just pop out a child and boom , all our problems disappear .
His tightened with frustration .
Its not like that , L , I am not trying to use the baby as a means to an end but I love you that much and this is the only way to fix everything .
This is the only way we can be together , please my love .
To fix your problems , I spat .
You want me to take responsibility for your decisions and carry it on my shoulders because I want to be your mate ? Your Luna ? And for what ? To be your loophole ? I wont repeat Nannys mistakes , Nathan .
I refuse to be just another Alphas baby mama .
He flinched but continued .
This isnt just about me ! Its about us .
About protecting what we have .
What do we have , Nathan ? I snapped , I agree youve been a good friend , you even stayed in the dungeon for four years for me and I am eternally grateful for this .
But have you thought about all the people that might be hurt if we make that decision ? How about you put yourself first , L ? Everyone does that and has been doing it .
Youre not a messiah ? rissa is my sister ! I yelled .
We might not see eye to eye on a lot of things but I know pretty well that this would mean so much to her .
Besides , your dad doesnt like me , no one is in support of our joining .
Ive had enough drama in my life already , Im too old to start being in another one .
For Moons sake , L ! he cried with anguish .
Why cant you see reason ? rissa is a beautiful .
woman , Im sure a lot of men would die to have her .
I am trying to protect what we have .
This is the only way … I shook my head .
No , Nathan .
This isnt right .
This isnt about us and this is not the only way .
This is about you .
Youre slowly morphing into Ramsey and you dont even see it .
His brows clouded with annoyance .
No , Im not ! Yes , you are .
Youve turned into the very thing you once swore youd never be .
I am not property to be owned .
Youre treating me like a pawn in your grand Alpha game .
If you cant have me then no one else should .
I wont stand for it .
He quietened for a few seconds before he came to me , reaching for my hand .
L , dont do this .
Im trying to protect you , to give us a chance .
Please my darling Protect me ? I scoffed as tears burned in my eyes .
By trapping me ? By reducing me to nothing more than the mother of your child ? People will remember me as the woman who trapped her sisters mate with a baby .
I can kill all the Ferals in the world for all they care but thats the only thing I would be known for .
We can tell the back story .
We were meant to be together at first … NO ONE GIVES A DAMN ABOUT BACKSTORIES ! I yelled , louder than I intended .
I am not a desperate woman , willing to trap a man with a baby .
I will not be another Nanny .
I deserve better .
I deserve respect and its about time you all started respecting me for who I am not 16:26 213 194 Baby mama … what you want me to be ! Nathan opened his mouth to argue , but I raised my hand to stop him .
Whatever we had , its over .
Im done .
With trembling fingers , I pulled off my engagement ring .
The diamond caught the light onest time .
I tried handing it to him but he wont take it .
So , I walked towards him and shoved the ring into the breast pocket of his ceremonial attire for the wedding .