Break up.


    [Can you go on without me?]


    [What about you?]


    [Damn, it was always her, wasn''t it?]


    [You can go easy life without me?]


    [At least give me a break, please


    I told you, right, you are not want but you are a need.]


    Now that I look back at those things… it sounds like shit, and I sound like a jerk.


    [I''ve been in similar situations before


    Honestly, I think I won''t know whether or not I can go on until the time comes when I need to face it] ''Oh has she? Never knew.''


    [I can''t tell if I can go on without you.]


    [Then give me time? Give me time, let''s take a break. Let me build myself to love you the way you are.]


    [I can''t wait


    I am sorry


    I just don''t wanna hurt you any longer okay?


    If both being with and without me hurts you, it''s only best you get rid of me


    Can''t wait for someone to make themselves strong and compatible for me] ''Just who the fuck do you think you are bitch?'' [I''m being selfish, yes


    I can''t wait


    I lost the spark, Ryan, seriously]


    [Me too.


    I lost it


    The connection is gone]


    [What better time to end things then?


    What better reason to not lead each other on?


    What better proof that we''re both unknowingly toxic?] ''What a good way to tell me I am toxic.'' [Stop clinging onto something that wouldn''t work out. It''ll only increase the pain when everything gets out of hand]


    [I was sure it will work out


    Now you will only remain inside me as a memory as a dream which never came true


    You must be used to let things go but I am not


    When you said I should not wanna marry someone I dated online for years I guess that''s where I lost the spark.]


    [I am so done trying to dump you


    Our relationship has been hanging by a thread for a while now


    I don''t want this if it just means both of us cry]


    I wanted her to know the reality like she made me look into when she was dumping me. I wanted to make her cry as much as she made me that time, she made me hate my own family, you bitch die a cruel death.


    [I''ll never love you, you''ll never love me, we''d not talk like we used to


    I would not come there even when I have money


    Not talk with you


    Not meet you...]


    [Ah, is this deja vu?]


    [No it''s different this time]


    [I said stuff along that line the last time


    See


    I still love you


    But I don''t want this


    One day, the two of us are gonna look back and think we were crazy in our teens] she was right. You were right Erin, I do think we were crazy in our teens now that I look back.


    [A good female friend I loved the time I spent with you]


    [And It''s all the past now huh


    Know that I will also treasure our time spent together


    Mom was right in a way, my sister may be right, we don''t seem to last.]


    [Exactly.]


    [I think that all the time I spent with you, every second was worth it


    Pray to mom and tell her that she was right and that her son''s first girlfriend respects her.]


    [Sure. I will. She will curse my first girlfriend too much lol]


    [Did you cry over me?]


    [yes I did


    A Lot.]


    [What about now?


    Are you?]


    ''What do I do?''


    [what about you?]


    [Honestly, just a single tear.] ''same as me then I guess.''


    [Oh you don''t feel anything.


    I am not crying anymore]


    [So you were?]


    ''I am gonna lie.''


    [Now I am not.


    I was crying.]


    [Good boy. Now come here….]


    [here.] ''Just like the old times...''


    [Kiss] that was my first kiss… first virtual kiss.


    [0_0]


    [I think we should end it here, Ryan]


    [Now I am crying!]


    [I love you, just the way you do.


    Hush now


    It''s alright


    If we leave each other that means we just deserved better.


    I want all our memories to only put a smile on your face]


    [Okay lol]


    [we made a bunch of memories in each other lives


    It''ll be over, hug.]


    [squeeze my last squeeze


    And my first and last kiss to you kiss


    I loved you


    Sorry I was not able to handle this relationship.]


    [It''s fine ^^


    As if I could manage to have a giant softie of a boyfriend]


    [Haha. now someone else will have this giant softie boyfriend]


    [She''s lucky she''ll get to have you


    Someone as caring and loyal as you]


    [And someone else will get to squeeze this tiny girl you.


    I don''t think I will let anyone in my life though. Yes, I will stay single and die single. No kids no marriage I will die single] I was a real idiot. Who knew that I would let not only one but-- oops spoiler. It is not like I let them in, they made their way into my life…. The woman I love. I love them all, thank god they are not like Erin.


    But the past me was very stupid and idiotic.


    She thought I will stick to one…. But she was wrong. I wished someone would tell the past me that things are gonna get better quickly and that he will have a better life ahead of him. To stop him from crying over this bitch.


    [Some girl is gonna force her way in your life and you''ll live with her no matter what


    Mark my words]


    Yes, Erin. you were right in a way, but wrong in a way too. This was the end. Later I gave her my dreams which I wrote which were about her. This was it. The end of my first relationship.


    Bye… my dear first girlfriend… bye Erin Heffley….. Fuck this.