"I worked for more than ten years and paid monthly salary. As a result, I didn''t save any money for her at home. The middle-aged woman saved money, so she used the money to buy her washbasin, bed sheet, quilt and get married. Soon after marriage, they have children. In order to support their children, they no longer give money to their parents every month.


    But the countryside is always busy, always asking for money, all kinds of reasons, even the villagers to Beijing also live in our home, free to eat and drink, also have to buy tickets. Ten years later, my mother had a heart attack and was rescued in the hospital. When my uncle learned about it, he came to ask for a crime. My brother and I were minors at that time, and my father worked alone at home and abroad.


    After he came, he sat for a long time without any substantial help. He left without going to the hospital to see my mother. I didn''t know his intention until he left. Fortunately, he walked fast, otherwise I would have to beat him.


    Feng Du said to Tang Lan, a middle-aged woman, "don''t be silly. The premise of helping your relatives is to live your own life first. No one on earth turns. You''re not their heaven. If you don''t support it, it won''t collapse. When you can''t support it, it will collapse. You are now a full person, the whole family is not hungry, you have relatives around you, there will be children behind you, then you are the day. "


    Fang Tianxing also said with emotion: "at that time, most of the parents in rural areas were backward in ideas. Now it is the 23rd century, but their ideas still stay before the 21st century. Although they are in the same society, they have long been divorced from society.


    They think that if they are admitted to a good high school and a good university, they will be able to have a stable job after graduation, buy a house in the city, get married, have children, and enjoy a carefree life, making people feel promising and able to look up.


    You didn''t work hard in those years. When you are old, you regret it. You want to understand it. But now the society has changed. It''s not their year. What the society needs now is all-round talents, not nerds who can only take exams. It''s also very important to know art, music, sports and games. It''s more important to make money. Physical and mental health is more important. If you only let one person read, and don''t let him contact the society, it will go wrong. If we can''t integrate into this society, we will be marginalized and lose our foothold.


    In the past, when I was admitted to university, I was assigned jobs, and my house was settled in the city. However, decades later, it was not the same as it was at the beginning. The prices of house prices soared, and the prices of house prices in ordinary small cities could not be looked up to by young people.


    The money for a house is not earned by ordinary people all their lives. College students can buy a house after working for several years, not to mention the expenses for their children''s education, parents'' medical care, their own life and so on. Those are all big expenses. Now it''s hard to get ahead without parents, contacts and resources.


    But they are still doing their spring and autumn dream, their grasp of the future is weak. In contrast, those with high social status can seize the opportunity when they are young to provide their children with good material conditions and better education. They have already bought a house and car and even arranged their work. They can do their own things happily and will not be overwhelmed by social pressure.


    The reform and opening up in the 1980s brought about a wave of dividends of social change, which made modern people naturally feel that it is the standard for a generation to change their own destiny, and that those who work hard can also take their families to upgrade their class.


    However, in the past 70 years since the founding of new China, only this time has the door of the times been slowly closed. Many of my father''s friends got rich in the tide, but most of them didn''t survive for more than ten years. They lost all kinds of wealth, and the times made heroes. Too many people regard the bonus of the times as their personal ability.


    In fact, the children of ordinary families around us do not choose to take the postgraduate entrance examination after graduation, but choose to study abroad, because they can find better jobs. In order to be able to live in this world, bear a huge pressure, even breathing has become a luxury thing.


    Feng Du also said: "I came from the countryside, too. I''m afraid of poverty. I remember when I was in junior high school, I only had two sets of clothes. If I wore them, I had to wash them. Otherwise, I didn''t have any clothes to wear. My father died when I was in the third year of senior high school. Fortunately, I had a sister who left ten thousand. I used the ten thousand to enter the university campus. During the University, my sister gave me the living expenses.


    I grew up in a poor family. So I have to live on my own and understand your business. Although the family education is not good, I take the initiative to learn, good grades since childhood, never thought of college entrance examination, high school entrance examination that year''s performance test is particularly good, especially want to go to the city''s key, but no money.


    It''s a proud thing for people in rural areas to go to Pugao because they don''t spend money. After that, they went to an ordinary high school. Their classmates either have money or don''t like to study. They are under great pressure in high school and suffer from depression. No one can explain and understand it. The key point is that the family has a lot of money for living expenses. If they spend a little more, they will say so much money. They have no confidence to ask for money.


    Sometimes a hundred yuan a month, a steamed bun in the morning, more than a piece of porridge at noon, no way, sometimes asked the family said that there is no money, when the college entrance examination abnormal, vomiting badly, did not test well, according to the normal level can be close to a line.


    In those years, the body became very poor because of the lack of money, got stomach disease, had no money to see a doctor, forced to support, and then re read to go to key high school. My family didn''t agree. They went to a good high school with thousands of yuan they earned in the summer vacation, and then they got into an ordinary secondary school with poor health.


    When I was studying in the evening, I fell asleep on my desk. As soon as I opened my eyes, three classes passed. At that time, I felt very tired and nutrition couldn''t keep up.


    Later, when I went to college, my family only gave me food expenses for one semester, and I didn''t even have enough money to see my stomach disease. That year, I couldn''t drink milk tea, and once I ate ice cream, I had stomach bleeding. In the second semester, I learned to earn money by myself and work part-time. On holidays, I did all part-time jobs. It was common to come back at 12:1 p.m.


    I''m very tired every day. I don''t have time to participate in class activities. I''m not very good with my classmates. I also apply for the lowest level of financial aid.


    Some students have different opinions about my grant. They say they never take part in collective activities, never pay attention to it, and don''t have to. Later, they didn''t apply for grant again and graduated from university by taking part-time jobs.


    There are a lot of things that have not been expressed. The family always said why a girl read so many books, and spent money, finally graduated. It''s not this or that at home that''s dragging you down, just because you graduated from university and know everything better than them.


    As soon as I graduated, my job was not stable. I talked about how my boyfriend wanted to get married because of his congenital poor development. It was not easy to get pregnant. I wanted to get married and prepare for pregnancy, and I didn''t want to get married and have children immediately. It was the problem of poor physical development for many years.


    One by one, I objected, saying that I need to work for my family for several years and send the money home. I think that my tens of thousands of student loans have not been paid back, and my monthly work is not enough to see a doctor except for the expenses, because those years were too hard and tired, resulting in poor health, unable to work overtime, not too tired, not particularly good work and low wages.


    I''m tired and I don''t want to take care of it, but there is a kind of psychology that can''t be ignored. Many times I don''t want to live and feel that life is very tired. As long as I find it at home, I''m very tired and I have no cure for depression.