Such parents are hard to please and to approach. Immature parents expect others to read their thoughts and understand their needs. However, it is very difficult for people to understand other people''s feelings.


    People''s joys and sorrows are not interlinked, they take it for granted, but do not feel happy.


    They want others to show concern for their own problems, but when they give advice, they refuse. Therefore, when children care about such parents, they can''t get positive feedback and response. On the contrary, they will have a sense of meddling because the proposal is rejected, causing harm to children.


    Obviously, it''s just that the mother likes that kind of child very much, so she hopes that the child will like it, and even naturally thinks that the child also likes it. I''m not an individual, but the continuation of her life. For her, she is herself, and so is the child.


    After all, he can control himself completely, but he can''t control his children completely. But in fact, he thinks I am a part of him, so he is anxious, irritable and out of control.


    In the family, people are not so tense, because the family is more intimate than others. It''s easy to show your emotions in a safe environment instead of thinking twice about everything.


    Beating and scolding this way of giving children loose skin will only break the children''s kindness to their parents.


    The writer Gibran once said, "your children are not your children. They are children born of the desire of life for itself. They come to the world through you, but not because of you. They are by your side, but they don''t belong to you. "


    Children should never be tools for parents to vent their anger. You think beating a child shows your authority, but in the child''s eyes, it may just be a sign of your incompetence.


    Because people are always bullying, those parents who think their children can''t be successful without fighting are bastards.


    Feng Du is 36 years old. He was a fan when he was a child. When he was six years old, he went to watch football with his father. When he was in junior high school, I could recite the basic information of all the players'' names of the A-A teams. He had no brain to support the local teams. For this reason, Feng Du spent a little pocket money to buy League tickets. When his parents found out, he was beaten.


    This enthusiasm, all by the national team''s worse and worse performance, as well as the football match to wipe out clean. That kind of despair, only experienced to experience. Later, I gave up football and refused to talk about football with others. Later, my son told me that there was a match in the Asian Cup.


    At present, Fengdu''s son, seven years old, has been selected into the local club echelon because he likes it. He can play five or six hours outside in the hot summer at 30 degrees. He really loves football. Now Fengdu supports him just to let him exercise. As for the future, with his understanding of domestic football, it is difficult for him to imagine that he can let his children live by football.


    People around them know that children play football. The first sentence is that it costs money to cultivate them to play football, which is meaningful. Of course, Feng Du knows that it''s not money for practice, it''s money for gifts! The present environment is still the same as in the past.


    Feng Du often goes to watch his son play games. This is the real game. Because the children love to get together, they don''t shout when they fall down. They get up and continue to play. The coach blows very loosely, all in order to make the game more fluent.


    No one maliciously fouls, normal physical confrontation, parents come together to see the fun, win or lose are good, sincerely for the children, whose children have made progress, who made a good ball, cheer together.


    Seven year olds are not as bad as the national team when they stop the ball. Short pass coordination and tactical thinking are always on-line. We often sigh that after so many years of practice, the national team is in that state. Ah!


    Feng Du has been watching the national team for so many years, but he has no likes and dislikes. He is no longer angry and can''t feel sad. For this reason, he never watches the five major leagues, because he can''t watch his own national team''s games after watching that.


    Wang Tianming, who lives next door, is even worse because no matter how hard he tries, he can''t get the praise of his parents.


    Feng Du is also very concerned about him, because he knows that Wang Tianming is not happy, accompanied by a gesture that I lower my requirements and you should be grateful.


    "After listening to this sentence, what kind of young man do you think I am? I''m an old man, I''m a scum, I''m looking for a job relying on my parents, and I have nothing to do every day. Is it a weak person who can''t face the reality completely Wang Tianming said to Feng Du.


    In fact, what kind of person is he? In my whole student life, I have never been in the top ten of my grade in the key examination. My university and graduate students are among the top ten in China. According to my major, I am national No1. After graduation, I found a job in a global top 500 company in Beijing, settled my household registration and bought a house.


    In addition to work, he wrote the manuscript to the media in three different ways, and he ran a public official account with a small amount of fans.


    Wang Tianming doesn''t think he is excellent. He is so ordinary that he can''t be more ordinary. He can make do with his peers all over the country. I don''t ask my parents to be proud of me, but what kind of painting style is this faint disappointment. This disappointment has been throughout my life. Sometimes I wonder, my parents are ordinary working class in third tier cities, they think I should be the richest person in the world.


    There are so many things like this. When I got a job after graduation and excitedly told my dad, he wrote me a long short message, hoping that I would study for a doctor.


    What impresses Wang Tianming most is that "I don''t want you to have a PhD, I want you to live with dignity. That winter I went to a lot of interview fields. I met wonderful companies and sharp examiners. My heel was worn by high-heeled shoes and bleeding. I walked two miles without feeling it. I thought I was really a woman, but I still cried like a dog when I received the message.


    I know that no matter how hard I try, he will not be satisfied. In essence, my parents are good parents in that generation. They care about me, take care of me, never beat me or scold me. But every day and every second of my adult life is to wash away what they planted for me: deep-rooted inferiority and loss.


    So over the years, Wang Tianming has been thinking about this question: Why are parents like this? Why do they hurt their children?


    Later, I figured out that it was because many parents of this generation had failed in their lives. This generation of parents spent their childhood and youth in hardship. They lived in an era of unconditional obedience to "authority" and an era when most individuals were powerless to their own lives.


    Some people accept failure, some people can''t accept it. They project failure on their children, hoping to get rid of their anxiety and save their lives.


    Because academic career can not progress, the child will be admitted to a high degree; Because the poor are controlled by others, they expect their children to get rich; Because when ordinary people are frustrated everywhere, they want their children to be proud of their official career as soon as possible.