What''s it like not to be together, but to be together?


    For five years, I thought. To this day. I got it.


    But this problem Zhuo Feng does not know. I think he knows better than me that it is impossible between us.


    He shook his hand with the cup. The coffee spilled out and fell on his sleeve. It''s like someone spilled ink on the white shirt. Light scattered, forming a haze.


    "Brother in law. You know our relationship better than I do. I thought I could wait until the day you promised me, but I used it for five years. I watched a woman walk by you. There''s no me in it. I don''t know if you''ve thought about how I feel? If so, please let me go, my heart would be full of holes. I can''t afford it. If not, I want you to think about it from now on. At least let me know that you really care about me. Out of brotherhood. "


    He put down the glass and didn''t look at me. I looked him in the eyes, all the way he looked.


    He frowned as if there were many black springs in it. The spring water is full of enmity and endless sorrow.


    I take a deep breath. I feel very stuffy and uncomfortable.


    I continued, "you always tell me to forget you, but we''ve been together all the time, except sleeping, except you''re on a business trip. We''re all together. I don''t know how I can forget you. I can''t forget you."


    "Brother in law, I always thought that I was the cruel one between us. I used Gu Chengfeng and many people to brush the machine carefully. But in the end, all I got was your more meticulous care and the first sentence you asked me to forget you. Brother in law, the real cold-blooded person is you, you cruel will I tied to your side, good to me, gentle to me, give me warm and rely on, but you think about it? You have more affection for me than brother and sister, which has been true for a long time. How do you want me to forget you? "


    No matter what you say, how can you change it?


    Can we say it''s all my fault now?


    It''s not true, is it?


    I took a sip of bitter coffee, put down the cup, wipe off the tears with a paper towel, then wipe the corner of my mouth, and left with my schoolbag.


    did not know when it was raining, and the rain was sprinkled on my body. It seemed to spray and sparkle the elitist light. I looked up at the dark sky, rolling clouds, and flooding all over the sky. What seemed to be the collapse of the sky, but at that time, as I was feeling, I was extremely heavy.


    I went all the way against the wind and rain, and I couldn''t tell where I came from.


    The next day, I caught a cold.


    With a high fever of 39 degrees, Li Yang circled in front of me with a thermometer. "I''ve never had a cold before. It turns out that people can still have such a high temperature. Drow, you''re going to boil. I''ll take you to see a doctor."


    I shake my head and hide in the quilt. From now on, I have to learn to be strong and independent. Only in this way can I completely forget Zhuo Feng and all kinds of things between us.


    If high fever can burn those memories, I hope it will be more violent!


    In the evening, in the case of my reckless medication, the high fever finally subsided, but I still feel no spirit, eyes can''t open, and I don''t want to eat rice. Li Yang and Xie Jingjing repeatedly loosen the rice for me three times, and I don''t have any appetite.


    In the middle of the night, I had a high fever again. I got up to drink water. I just felt that it was dark in front of me and I fell down straight.


    When you open your eyes, it''s sunny. The slanting sunlight shines on your body. It''s warm. After a high fever, you feel comfortable all over. It''s said that this can kill many harmful cells.


    Li Yang dozed off beside me, Xie Jingjing was lying beside me, Liu Wei was reading a book, but he was already asleep.


    I use my mobile phone to record everyone''s appearance, which is the first step in my growth.


    At noon, I left the hospital and took them to a nearby restaurant for dinner.


    Before passing by, Zhuo Feng told me to go to the door of the hotel, I didn''t hesitate to jump directly.


    Since then, I don''t want to be involved with Zhuo Feng any more. So far, it''s very good.


    After dinner, everyone went to class. Liu Wei and I went back to our dormitory.


    Lying on the bed, Liu Wei told me, "your brother took care of you all night. You can call him back."


    My heart trembled, the phone in my hand fell on my face with a patter, which made my tears flow out.


    Liu Wei said, "your brother left when he had something to do, but he bought a lot of things for you and put them at the head of your bed. We only went there in the morning. We can rest assured when we know you''re OK. You call your brother back and he was worried when he left. He said that you were angry with him and told you not to be angry."


    I sucked my nose, and I couldn''t tell for a moment whether the tears were because I was really crying or because the phone hit my nose.


    Liu Wei smiles at me and hands me a book. "Your brother gave it to you. I''m gone. You have a good rest. I''ll lend you my notebook when I come back."


    I looked at the book with my brother-in-law''s name, and felt very heavy.


    Open, the first page is his name, the second page is a bookmark, below are some of the beautiful words he copied inside.PATA, tears flow down the bridge of the nose, hit the bookmark, seems to hit my heart.


    I shuddered and threw the books aside.


    Don''t touch his things if you can.


    I used the money my brother gave me to pay back the gold card I used to swipe. I also cancelled all the orders in the hotel outside the school. I took back the money I still had in the hotel and called Zhuo Feng.


    Looking at the number on the money order, the more months, my mood seems to be getting better and better.


    I called my brother, "brother, can you do something for me?"


    Brother there seems to be very busy, shouting to make it clear, "ah, wait a minute, I''m watching the show, wait a minute, I''ll go out to call you back and hang up."


    When my brother called back, I held the phone and thought carefully, am I right?


    I can''t tell good from bad, what should be and what shouldn''t be.


    Once upon a time, I knew everything that catered to my brother-in-law. I would only do what he wanted, what he wanted to do and what he allowed. I also thought that everything was right only with his permission.


    But now, I began to waver.


    My brother''s phone call came ten minutes later, "sister, what''s the matter? My brother is so busy recently that he didn''t call you. Hey, hey, miss me?"


    "Brother, I think I''m going to stay with you. Can you go to the hotel and take my salute to me? "


    "Really? Ha ha ha That''s great. Cheng, I''ll pick you up. How long do you plan to stay? Last time you went, I cleaned a room for you. I thought you would come again. Ha ha I''m so happy. Salute. I''ll send someone to get it. You''re at school, right? I''ll pick you up now. Wait for me


    Met, brother was not happy, he directly asked me, "what''s the matter?"


    I didn''t answer.


    He took a puff of his cigarette and threw the butt out for a long time before he said, "sister, sometimes things don''t need to be thought too clearly. It''s better to be confused, really."


    "Brother, I think it''s better to be clear between me and Zhuo Feng. I don''t want to delay him."


    "Have you ever thought about that? You''ve been delayed for five years. Watching you grow up and raise you by yourself, now you''re gone. Have you ever thought about his feelings? Yes, I know. You think it''s something else, but it''s all people. Who doesn''t have feelings? You say Oh, sister, aren''t you sad? Anyway, I think he''s sad. "