I sat up in a cold sweat.


    Feng Fei a pair of gentle hands pressed my shoulder, "it''s OK, I''m here."


    I looked up at him blankly, noticed the gauze on my face, stunned, "when did you deal with it for me, I don''t know."


    He said with a smile, "just now, I thought you didn''t know the pain. I was in a daze. Doctor ye said that he would not leave scars, just slight bruises."


    I nodded, touched, now feel some pain, before really did not care.


    "Feng Fei, I want to leave hospital."


    "Now? Doctor ye said no, it will take at least a week. You are in poor health now. "


    I shake my head. I can''t live here. I''m in a bad mood. When I think of what Zhuo Feng said to me, my wound is very painful. It''s like he is tearing open the wound which has just been healed. It''s so painful that I can''t breathe.


    I said, "Feng Fei, I feel suffocated here. I don''t want to die yet. I have a lot to do. I feel It would be better to go to your place. "


    Feng Fei sits down, grabs my hand and gently pinches it in the palm of his hand. His gentle face is full of worries. His beautiful eyebrows are twisted together all the time, as if there are always worries inside.


    "Zhuo Er, I know you are sad, but we can''t give up on this matter. You can get good care in the hospital. I don''t know what will happen when you go to my home. Your situation is really bad. As long as you get through the past few days, you will certainly recover. The child is healthy and you are healthy. I won''t stop you from what you want to do and where you want to go


    I know, I know the truth, but now I really can''t control myself and don''t think about Zhuo Feng. His harm to me is much heavier than the pain I have suffered in recent years. Just at that moment, I even thought of calling myself to commit suicide. I don''t want to be a man without any backbone. I want to cheer up, but here I really can''t cheer myself up.


    "Feng Fei, then, help me change my room. Here I I''m not used to it. "


    I didn''t even dare to look at the ground. As long as I thought of what Zhuo Feng had said before, it would make me tremble and my heart ache.


    Feng Fei agreed, "OK, let''s change a room. I''ll tell Dr. ye that we''ll go to the top floor. There are only three separate rooms. It''s very quiet and suitable for your cultivation."


    I nodded heavily.


    After waiting for half an hour, he finally came back and told me with a smile, "OK, let''s move there now. Dr. Ye has made arrangements and is very close to Dr. Ye''s office. You can chat with him when I''m away."


    I didn''t answer. As long as I changed the room, I was just like myself. Let alone chatting with someone, I might not be willing to go out.


    Lying in bed all day, I barely ate something. In the evening, Feng Fei came back from the company and insisted on taking me downstairs for a walk. I was repulsed for fear of meeting Zhuo Feng again. I felt sick at the thought of his face covered with frost.


    But Feng Fei said, "if you don''t go, I''ll accompany you, but you should walk down. It''s not good for your health to lie down like this. For the sake of your children, OK?"


    As soon as I think about it for the sake of children, I have the strength to put on slippers, masks and hats and go out on my own initiative.


    The downstairs is not as busy as before. It is estimated that the weather is cool, and the red maple leaves begin to change color. The ground is full of yellow infusion from other places. The breeze blows on my face, and a dry taste of autumn. Standing in the middle of the gale, I look down at the withered leaves rolled up by the wind, and imagine that these green things are taken away by the years After.


    Subconsciously asked Feng Fei, "we all die, right?"


    Feng Fei was stunned and held my hand tightly for a few minutes. He didn''t say a word, but the mark on his brow became heavier.


    I know that I''ve been in a bad mood recently and I always want to commit suicide. My mental illness has broken out again.


    Once upon a time, I always thought that I could live a long life. No matter how hard the years are and how southbound the road is, I always wanted to go on. But recently, I always thought that I would end all this, not face all the things, and die. What children, what myself, what life, all disappear.


    I know I''m wrong, but I can''t restrain myself from thinking like this. I just let this kind of thinking devour my reason a little bit.


    Three days later, I chose to commit suicide.


    I looked at the sheets dyed red by blood, the blood of the big beach flowed down, and the smell of blood filled all around, which made me more determined to want to cut my wrist again.


    The scalpel is very sharp. As long as you cut it gently, the skin will split. I stole it several times before I found two from Dr. Ye''s office.


    I look at the split blood hole on my wrist. The deep trace is like an open blood hole. It looks terrible.


    I can''t feel the pain. It seems that what separates me is not my own skin. Even when I see the black blood coming out, I am very excited.I don''t know who is knocking at the door outside. The voice is dull. I can''t hear it clearly. The beating makes me very upset.


    I had no strength and didn''t want to pay attention to it. The knife in my hand fell to the ground with a bang.


    Gradually, my eyes became dark, and I couldn''t hear the sound around me. I could only feel my heart beating wildly. It seemed that the huge darkness was slowly engulfing me and taking away the last light in front of me.


    The moment before I lost consciousness, I seemed to see a familiar face. Is it Zhuo Feng''s or Feng Fei''s? I can''t tell clearly. His hands are broad and warm, shaking me as if calling my name, but I don''t know how to respond.


    I think, after this sleep, I will never wake up again. It''s good, it''s good. If all the troubles leave me, I will never have to worry again. I''m the luckiest person in the world. It''s so good!


    This sleep really slept for a long time, but I still have to wake up, looking at the bright day in front of me, surrounded by caring eyes, I suddenly feel that my departure is so important, so many people around care about me, care about me, waiting for me, I can''t just leave them regardless of everything, so who do I deserve?


    There seems to be a quarrel outside the door. The earth is shaking. I barely heard it. It''s brother Lu who is yelling at, but the other party hasn''t responded. Brother Lu is fighting with others for my business. He''s such a big man. I don''t want him to fight again.


    I stretched out my hand to obstruct, but Feng Fei held it, looked down at me and said, "wake up?"


    Liu Dou also frowned at me, his eyes were full of love, he seemed to cry, the big boy actually learned to cry, I want to laugh at him, but only reluctantly involved, also a lip corner, consumed all my strength.


    Dr. ye said, "I''m very lucky. I can''t die. I''m just discovering it. In case the person is gone, you Drow, can''t you think about the baby if you don''t think about others? What do you want me to say about you? The psychiatrist I asked for has come. He will come in the afternoon. Can you have a good chat? "


    I didn''t answer, just looked at him, this expression is really funny, doctor ye angry when it is like this, two thick eyebrows will fly up, to become a sharp blade to poke at me, as if to say, "you commit suicide again, I will kill you!"


    I burst out laughing.


    Several people were stunned at the same time.


    Feng Fei stretched out his hand nervously, hugged me and begged, "Zhuo Er, please, don''t leave me, OK?"