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MillionNovel > The Iceman > 9 Shit post OMAKE

9 Shit post OMAKE

    Hola guys. I''m still on my exams and working hard on it. Thanks for all your well wishes, and prayers. It helps.


    So I can''t release a true chapter yet, but I decided to leave you guys with something to entertain y''all till I get back.


    Yes. This is an omake chapter. I''m not really skilled at it, it''s a first for me actually. This is very unfamiliar territory for me here. So without further ado, please enjoy.


    Omake- The life and death of a virgin.


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    Sad feels storytime.


    >Be me, green, dinosaur fire breathing, acid spewing monster.


    >Live in underground basement my whole life.


    >Don''t have much friends because I''m a neet.


    >The ones I do have, call me ugly.


    >Check my reflection in pond.


    >I realize I have monstrous buck tooth and a mean mug.


    >Ask mom why. Since she is a damn loch ness dinosaur.


    >Find out she had a threesome with a Gorilla and a Sabre tooth tiger, at a monster party down in Bermuda.


    >Mfw all she asked for was three fiddy.


    >Mfw I realize she has a meme.


    >Mfw I''ve never even met my dad(s).


    >Mfw I know I''ll probably die a kissless virgin.


    >Sit in my secret spot and silently cry, munching on rocks, they give me a bad case of acid but whatever.


    >When bam! A gaping hole literally appears right above me.


    >My eyes sting from the light and all the noise above.


    >It''s those dumb surface dwellers.


    >Too angry to be rational. I decide to give them a piece of my mind.


    >I jump out the hole.


    >"huh" it''s actually nice up here.


    >They have tall boxes where they live in with little hard ants they drive in.


    >"Hello" I try to say. Instead what comes


    out is a grunt "Graawrghh!" and some fire.


    >Mfw all those years spent silently in the basement wrecked my vocal chords.


    >The little humans scream and try to flee in panic.


    >Mfw I just made the worst first impression ever.


    >I wave my arms to try and salvage the situation. Instead my useless hands wreck all the tall boxes.


    >I sigh, I shouldn''t have. The rocks I ate act up, uncontrolled acid sprays out my throat.


    >I fucked up too much to salvage it now.


    > I just wanna go home. I try turning around. I step on one of the hard ants and I fucking slide.


    >Hell no! I lash my tail out to save me from an embarrassing fall.


    >It forms a deep ravine and breaks apart even more boxes.


    >"I''m sorry!" I tried to say. What came out was "RWAARRRRHH!"


    >Don''t know when but a damn mosquito flies up to my face.


    >Try to smack that little shit away, but it keeps dodging.


    >I give up and just continue back to the hole.


    >A metal, I mean literally metal surface dweller jumps from the insect and pounds my nose in.


    >It hurts, I''m not ashamed to admit that I cried like a soaked bat.


    >I try to flick the sonofa mastodon of off me.


    >The little shit rides my broken nose like a parasite.


    >Another one with toothpicks stabs into my arms.


    >The the insect keeps spitting fireballs at me.


    >Another surface dweller throws red fire that travels in a straight line at me.


    >It fucking hurts. I scream fire and acid.


    >I spot the shit eating grin on the little shit''s face as he throws more red fire at me.


    >A real 10/10 qt3.14 angel with diamond skin and boobs the size of ostrich eggs walks to the red beam shooting Chad and acqually kiss!


    > I go uber T-Rex and start wrecking shit, full force no mercy. It actually feels nice.


    >I suddenly start feeling really cold on the inside. Like I swallowed an ice dragon.


    >White clouds gather and a friggin four armed titan shoots at me.


    >whatthefuck.png


    >Doesn''t even let me speak. It starts decking me.


    >it wrecks me so bad I can feel my life slipping away.


    >Mfw the only female I ever kissed was my mom.


    >Mfw I think she has a thing for ugly monsters, and it makes me feel hot.


    >I just realize that I probably have a mom complex. And I''m still a virgin.


    >It''s probably good that I die now then, I would''ve an hero if not.


    >The ice bastard freezes me over and tosses me back into hole.


    And that''s how normies killed me. Now I just go place to place ghost shitposting.


    *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *


    Finito! Tell me how it was. You like it? Hate it?


    I accept constructive criticisms it''s how I better myself so please don''t hold back.


    Yep I channelled some of that 4ch….. I''ll regret it later.
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