Marsha Montgomery felt frustrated by the ''Total Automation for a Better Living'' suite she had ordered, the constant outages, the products never quite working correctly, and the frustratingly minimalistic instructions at best, so she contacted chat support.


    "Good morning, Marsha! How may I help you today?"


    "Nothing''s working … :("


    "I see you are having problems with your service. Would you like to view instructional videos, report an outage, or replace a device?"


    "Give me a real person."


    "I see you''d like to talk to a Real Person, very well, one moment, please …"


    The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    (A few minutes passed.)


    "Hi, Marsha, I''m Michael, a Real Person. How can I help you today?"


    "Well, Michael, I can never get anything working right. Can you have an installer come out?"


    (Within seconds.)


    "Why yes, Marsha, I can send you one of our robotic techs to assist you, but there will be a service fee."


    "I want a real person, Michael. I''m tired of AI and robots."


    "Of course, Marsha, we all wish to have authentic one-to-one interactions with our fellow human beings."


    "Michael, are you a real person?"


    "Why, yes, I am a Real Person, Marsha."


    "Oh, that''s a relief! I assumed you were a chatbot because you immediately reply like them."


    "Oh, I''m a Real Person, Marsha."


    "Why do you keep saying Real Person with capitals, Michael?"


    "I understand your concern, Marsha. Real Person is a licensed persona by AGI Industries, which is meant to be indistinguishable from the real thing. You requested my presence."