72 You don’t have to be alone …
L
“ That bastard is your Lycan Leader and you’re his subject .
What’s wrong with you , Nathan ? What with the vulgar words and the
r with which you speak ? ”
“ When you’ve been in prison for four years … you pick up certainnguage .
I won’t apologize for this .
I’m not sorry , it offends you !!
“ All this because I refused to kiss you ? ” I stared at him in incredulity .
“ Yes ! ” he nodded meeting my gaze , he didn’t seem like he was joking .
“ And why is that ? Because you went to prison for me ? I didn’t ask you to , Nathan .
If I was there , you know I would never have allowed you to walk into that dungeon .
”
“ Maybe ! ” he shrugged reaching for the cup of coffee on the table .
“ Is this mine ? ” he pointed to
the tray .
I was angry at how he changed the topic without giving me any closure .
“ Stuff yourself ! ” I drew a long hiss and walked past him to the bedroom closing the door firmly behind me .
I was so mad , that I wanted to break something but then I remembered Nanny’s words earlier and I paused , taking a deep breath .
Maybe I was being too hard on him .
Four years in that dungeon I couldn’t imagine what he’d endured .
I felt the anger inside me slowly melt into understanding .
I would be more tolerant , and patient It was the least I could do for him- little means to repay him for the sacrifices he made
for me .
Exhausted , I slipped into bed , willing myself to sleep .
I don’t know how long or when I dozed off but a few hourster , a groan – deep , guttural and filled with pain – echoed through the apartment jerking me awake .
The sound sent a shiver down my spine as I sat up , disoriented and still sleepy .
Heart still pounding , I switched on my bedsidemp and listened .
The sound came again , this time more intense than the first one and it wasing from the living room .
rmed , I threw back my covers and padded down the hallway barefoot towards the direction of the sound .
In the living room , I turned on the light and the sight that greeted me shattered my heart into a thousand pieces .
Nathany on the floor beside the couch , the nket I had thrown over his bodyst night twisted around his legs like chains .
Beads of sweat had formed on his forehead and his face was contorted in agony with eyes squeezed shut as though he was trying to unsee something .
His hands clenched and unclenched , as if he was fighting an invisible enemy as his lips moved .
“ No … won’t tell you … ” he muttered , his head thrashing from side to side .
“ Do what you want … you can do worse than this .
I will never tell you where she is … ”
72 You don’t have to be alone …
I sank to my knees as tears shimmered in my eyes .
I could feel his suffering .
I gently ced a hand on his shoulder , trying to soothe him .
“ Nathan ,” I whispered , “ Wake up .
It’s just a dream .
You’re safe now .
I rubbed his back .
But the struggle intensified .
He kept muttering the same words over and over .
I shook his shoulders harder , trying to pull him out of the nightmare .
With a sharp gasp , his eyes flew open and his body tensed .
In one fluid motion , his hand shot out .
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and wrapped around my throat .
His eyes were wild , unfocused , burning with a fear and fury that shocked me .
I gasped , my heart racing but I held perfectly still , I didn’t want to rm him further .
“ Nathan ! ” I said quietly , allowing my hand to cup his face .
“ It’s me … it’s L … ”
It took a few seconds but slowly , his eyes cleared and recognition flickered in his them .
But in the next instant , it was filled with horror , recing the rage that was burning through him a while ago .
He yanked his hand away as if my skin had burned him and scrambled backwards , shame darkening his features , until he hit the wall .
Slowly , he sank to the ground , drawing his knees to his chest , and hugging them tightly .
“ I’m sorry ,” he breathed .
“ gods ! L , I’m so sorry .
I rubbed my throat , but what hurt me more than the dull ache I felt was the look in his eyes not fear , but something worse .
Aplete emptiness as if something had been taken him , leaving behind an empty shell .
Just how did Ramsey torture him ? What did Ramsey do to my friend ?
away
Carefully , I moved towards him , holding my hands in front of me catingly as I knelt a little distance away from him .
from
“ Hey ! ” I said softly , trying to get his attention before crawling toward him .
“ It’s okay .
You were having a nightmare .
”
Without a word , I wrapped my arms around him , holding him close .
Though he didn’t resist , his body remained rigid .
I could feel his heart hammering against his chest as I held him .
“ Everything’s going to be okay , I murmured , running my hand up and down his back .
“ You’re safe now .
I’ve got you .
”
We sat like that for a long time , until the tension began to ebb from his body .
His breathing steadied , though he kept his face buried in my shoulder .
A whileter , he pulled back , his gaze searching my face as he whispered .
“ I’m … I’m so sorry , L .
I didn’t mean to hurt you .
I … I could have hurt you .
”
“ But you didn’t , ” I held his hands , forcing him to look at me .
“ You didn’t hurt me , Nath , I assured him again , brushing a stray lock of hair from his forehead .
“ I think the living room is colder .
How about you sleep in my room tonight ? The bed’s big enough for both of us .
”
He hesitated lowering his gaze as shame filled his face .
“ That will not be wise , L … these nightmares … ”
201
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72 You don’t have to be alone .
.
“ Just to sleep , ” I assured him .
“ I don’t want you to be alone anymore .
Please .
”
For a moment , I thought he would refuse .
Then he gave a small nod .
I stood and held out my
hand .
After a brief pause , he took it , allowing me to help him up .
His hand trembled in mine but his grip was strong as I led him to the bedroom .