73 A non – present father …
L
In no time , we were tucked in bed .
I held onto him , rubbing his back slowly , hoping he would go back to sleep but the awkwardness had returned .
He was bigger than me and by right , he was supposed to be the one , holding me .
“ The nightmares started in the third year ! ” he said , suddenly breaking the silence .
“ He was getting tired ofing every day and torturing me with all sorts of things and then getting disappointed that I wouldn’t talk ”
He paused and sighed before continuing .
“ He decided to mess with my head .
Wanted to hypnotize me into confessing the address but my will was too strong to break .
I didn’t tell him anything .
”
We fell silent again , with only the sound of our breathing filling the room .
I wanted to ask a lot of questions .
I wanted to know why Ramsey had been looking for me … did he care ? Was it his obsession to turn me into his mistress and sex toy ?
“ But I’ll be fine ! ” Nathan said again .
“ The Pack doctors said it’s the side effect from the hypnotizing drug and I just need to rest plenty .
”
“ I’m d ! ” I said quietly and the silence returned .
After a while again , Nathan pulled himself from my hand , giving me a teasing look .
“ Aren’t you tired of holding me ? ”
I shook my head , managing a small smile .
“ But let’s switch ces .
I will go back to holding you
after a few minutes .
”
He nodded and we switched ces .
My head was on his chest , I could hear the erratic beating of his heart .
I could tell he wanted to tell me something but I didn’t know why he was hesitating .
After a while , he nudged me quietly .
“ Are you sleeping ? ” he asked .
“ No ! ” I replied with a deep sigh .
“ You ? ”
“ I can’t sleep ! ” he said .
“ Would you like toe back to Blue Ridge ? ”
The question was unexpected .
“ No ! why are you asking ? ”
“ Nothing ! Just wondering if you ever missed home and wanted toe in for a quick visit .
”
“ I do miss home ,” I chuckled .
“ Somedays I’ll wake up and panic because it seems the faces of my
family
–
my father , my mother and my sister are slowly fading from my memory .
I’m worried that I might not be able to recognize them that I’ll forget how they look .
”
“ Then you should focus only on the memories and not the faces , ” he chuckled , pulling me closer to him .
“ Have there been others since Ramsey ? ”
Another unexpected question .
“ No ! ” I lied .
“ It’s just being me and my studies and Nanny .
I have one year left before I graduate
<
73 A non present father …
I’m grateful for everything I’ve been able to achieve so far .
“ So , you n on staying here even if there’s a way for you toe back to Blue Ridge ? ”
“ Except my father dies … ” I chuckled sadly “ But I don’t want him to die .
Except that , I don’t see myselfing home .
My family are not as epting as you and soon when my father gets older , you’ll need to resume your duties as Alpha … have you thought about who you want to make your Luna .
”
“ You ! ” he said without hesitation .
“ If you’ll have me ! ” he added .
He seemed distracted .
“ I feel like the only reason you’d want to marry me is to throw it in Ramsey’s face ! ” Iughed .
“ No ! I want to marry you because I like you enough and think you’ll make a good Luna but then , your heart is still with him , L .
You’re still in love with your mate .
“ Ex – mate ! ” I tried not to get angry “ And we were never in love .
Having a mate bond doesn’t guarantee love .
You saw how messy and broken everything turned out for me ”
“ So , if you ever cross paths with him , you won’t try to reignite things ? ” He asked .
“ Of course not ! ” I red at him .
“ Who do you take me for ? ”
He didn’t say anything .
He just sighed and ced a kiss on my forehead and we fell into silence .
again .
“ How long do you have until you go back home ? ” I asked breaking the silence again .
“ Why ? ”
“ I was thinking , you should stay the weekend .
There are lots of fun ces to go .
Who knows , the next time I see you or I may never see you because you’ll soon have a wife and lots of pups … ” I sighed .
“ I don’t want to lose any time with you !”
“ L ! ” he called out suddenly , his tone was serious .
“ I can’t stay until the weekend .
I have to return to the pack tomorrow .
I wish I could but … ” he sighed “ My te is full .
”
“ Full with what ? ” I shrugged into a sitting position , facing him .
I loved how his hands covered mine and the way he was still staring at me through half – lidded eyelids .
“ Taking care of the pack and a lot of details ,” he said quietly .
“ I came here for a reason and I must
do it .
”
“ You can always turn off your phone and stop taking any mindlink from anyone .
You just got back .
from prison , you shouldn’t be doing anything except making up for all those lost years .
”
He pulled himself into a sitting position , a ghost smile on his lips .
“ I know right ? ” he chuckled .
then reached for me , lifting me from where I was to him .
He pulled me closer so that I was leaning directly on his chest and his arms were around me .
The gesture felt so intimate but I was trying hard not to see it that way .
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Nathan was my friend and I wanted it to remain that way .
“ There’s something I need to tell you but I want you to make me a promise ,” he said quietly .
That serious tone was still in his voice .
<
73 A non – present father .
“ What promise ? ” I asked , wondering whatever it was he wanted to tell me .
“ That you’ll not let me go ! ” he said quietly .
“ That when you get sad … ”
“ You want to tell me a sad thing ? ” I asked .
“ Just … maybe ! ” he shrugged “ But you won’t leave me , or leave the room , that you’ll drawfort from me … ”
“ Okay ! ” I nodded .
“ Promise ? ”
“ I promise ! ” I smiled twisting my head to look at him , dodging another kiss to my lips .
“ Now , tell me , what is it ? ”
He stared at me for a second , I could feel his hand tightening around my body .
He buried his face in the crook of my neck and when he looked up again , there was pain in his eyes .
“ Go ahead , Nath ,” I urged him .
“ Spill already or should I make a guess ? ” I asked .
He smiled and shook his head .
“ That won’t be necessary .
I’ll tell you .
” he paused .
“ Your father … Alpha Logan Woond … is dead .
”
On the one hand , it was good news because I didn’t cry .
I just let Nathan hold me until the first light of day streaked in through the curtain cracks on the window .
On the other hand … I felt … I didn’t know what to feel …
Tell me … how does one feel when they lose a non – present father ?