170 When you love someone ….


    Ramsey I stood before the floor length mirror in my room , watching as the servant meticulously adjusted my ceremonial attire for the Harvest Moon Festival , which would begin at midnight .


    My room , which used to be a sanctuary , felt suffocating despite its size .


    My grandfather , Elder Eldric , stood near the tall windows , his cane lightly tapping the floor as he gazed at the servant .


    intently , as if taking his eyes away would cause something to go awry .


    Lenny my Beta leaned against the small reading desk at the corner of my room , reviewing my itinerary for the evening and reminding me what I had to do or not while Cassidy lounged on the chaise , scrolling through her phone .


    Even the servant assisting me with my attire moved silently .


    yet managed to add to the suffocating atmosphere .


    It was weird that I had almost everyone in the room who adored me , yet I felt like the most unloved person in the world .


    For the longest time , my grandfather would alwayse to hang around whenever there was a big festival to watch me dress up .


    He loved it more than anything .


    And then , you have to recognize , Alpha Ray , his pack had the most bountiful harvest this year up West and they paid all their taxes and pledges , too .


    Theres also Alpha Cade , who helped a lot of the smaller packs when they suffered through those Feral attacks months back .


    He sent out his warriors and protected his own pack with his family .


    I heard theyre all skilled warriors , Lenny was saying .


    One year after a child is born , regardless of the sex , theyre made to start learning basicbat skills , my grandfather chirped .


    So , the entire poption from the West can fight .


    I wish we had implemented it before .


    It would give me peace if I knew half the members of the White Moon Pack can deflect a blow .


    Dont worry , Elder Eldric , Lenny soothed him .


    This generation of kids were raising will be skilled warriors .


    Lexhaled slowly again , wishing the knot in my chest would loosen , but my chest was still heavy with emotions I could barely name .


    My mind wandered to the scene at the bonfire earlier L and Nathan .


    Their happiness had radiated like the mes themselves .


    Lsughter , their shared nces filled with want for each other , had stirred up a storm of conflicting emotions within me .


    The image of them together refused to leave my mind .


    Their happiness had been genuine , unforced .


    It was the kind of bond Id always imagined for myself- the kind of bond my parents had and something Id never quite managed to find .


    I sighed wearily , hoping the ached would subside .


    Ramsey , my grandfather broke through my thoughts .


    As he came closer to me , meeting my gaze in the mirror .


    The Harvest Moon Festival would be the perfect time to announce the new date of your joining ceremony officially .


    With all the packs at ease and the joy thates from this celebration , I think its time to let everyone know and it would not be selfish to go ahead as nned .


    I nodded silently , my reflection showing a perfect mask ofposure they hid the turmoil 14 When you love somecon … I nodded silently , my reflection showing a perfect mask ofposure they hid the turmoil withing me .


    Then my grandfather turned to Cassidy .


    Are you ready for a wedding as soon as the festival ends , my dear ? Cassidy nced up from her phone , her expression calm but distant .


    Yes , Elder Eldric .


    Im ready , she replied evenly , though there was a quietness in her tone that I couldnt ignore .


    She doesnt seem like herself these days .


    My grandfather must have noticed it too , because he frowned slightly , his eyes narrowing at her .


    Youve been quiettely , Cassidy .


    Almost too quiet .


    Is everything all right ? Im fine , she replied quickly .


    Our gaze met for a brief moment in the mirror , but she turned away immediately , offering a smile to my grandfather that didnt quite reach her eyes .


    Weve gone for a few days , more than a week , without any altercation , and I noticed she was no longer in my shadows like before .


    It was either shed be in her pack or , if she was around , she would remain confined in her room .


    Satisfied or maybe unwilling to press further , my grandfather nodded .


    The servant finally finished fastening my cloak , bowed and excused himself .


    My grandfather also muttered something aboutst minute arrangements and gestured for Cassidy to follow him .


    She rose gracefully , sparing me onest lingering nce before she left the room with my grandfather without saying a word to me .


    Which was so unlike her ! I was used to herints and ceaseless questions about things that didnt matter , so seeing this mute version of her … I loved it so much .


    Finally , it was just me and Lenny .


    His gaze was on me , filled with concern and curiosity as soon as the door clicked shut .


    He came closer , folding the itinerary and tucking it into his pocket .


    Are you alright ? Lenny asked softly .


    I sighed and shook my head .


    Ill be lying if I say I am .


    Im not , Lenny I turned to the mirror , my reflection staring back at me with a weariness that felt bone deep.


    Nathan came to see me earlier , I began with a hollowness in my voice .


    He asked for my permission to propose to L during the Harvest Moon Festival Lennys eyes widened in surprise .


    And you said yes ? A bitterugh escaped my lips .


    I did .


    That was the hardest yes Ive ever given in my life .


    Standing there , watching him as something inside me tore apart and pretending I wasnt green with envy , but the truth ? Its killing me .


    I adjusted my already perfect attire moving the pins as my hands trembled slightly .


    Everything the Moon Priest said about destiny , about bnce , about me and L … I dont believe it anymore , Lenny .


    Not when its this hard : Lenny sighed and patted mefortingly on my back .


    Shes happy with him , Ramsey , and sometimes , the greatest way to love someone is to let them go , knowing you cannot provide 170 When you love someone ….


    Dont I deserve to be happy ? A sad smile curved my lips .


    Dont I deserve to be with the woman my heart loves dearly ? The woman Ive longed for .


    Im just worried that Ill never be what Cassidy wants and it breaks my heart every time I try to imagine our future together ..


    I paused , closing my eyes , literally picturing myself and Cassidy as mates .


    Well make each other unhappy ; I know that much .


    I wish I can love her even for a bit but , my heart is closed off from her entirely and I feel so bad because she deserves better .


    She deserves a man who worships the ground she walks on .


    She chooses this path herself , Ramsey .


    More than anyone , I know your history clearly and I know how much shes practically being chasing after you .


    Its not your fault that happened , and I think you should tell L about that thing What difference will it make ? I scoffed .


    Its not like she would leave him for me .


    Maybe if you had been clear about everything from that first day and tried not to be a Lycan Leader around her , maybe none of this would have happened .


    You see how easy it is to bond with her when you stop overthinking things and just let your feelings lead ? I dont want your lecture now , Lenny I red at him .


    For all your talks about things like this , youre still single .


    You dont want to find a mate ? I turned away from the mirror .


    Come to think of it , are you even dating anyone ? He chuckled .


    I am seeing someone currently , but you know I love to keep all my rtionships private .


    That way it makes breakup less messy and Im not really the marrying kind .


    Im the lets have fun for now kind of guy Good for you ! I smirked .


    our worst Lennys face softened , and he ced a reassuring hand on my shoulder .


    Sometimes , our fears about something can turn out to be nothing but a farce .


    You could … maybe , just maybe , find something real with Cassidy and then both of you might actually have a good marriage .


    I wanted to tell him that this was reality and not some made up fairytale , but I nodded absent mindedly .


    I want to be alone .


    He hesitated , but finally stepped back as he started for the door .


    Just as he reached the door , I stopped him .


    Have there been any sightings of the two tailed werewolf ? And whats the situation with the Ferals ? He shook his head .


    No sightings of the two tailed werewolf , but were sti ports about the Ferals either .


    Its as if they were never here reports Thank you , I murmured .


    Lenny nodded and left the room , closing the door softly behind him .


    looking , and no new Alone atst , I walked to my desk and pulled open a drawer .


    From it I retrieved a small , worn out picture frame .


    Inside was a photography of my parents .


    They smiled back at me from the picture , their smiles frozen in a moment of happiness I will always remember .


    My fathers strong arm around my mom , her eyes filled with warmth and love .


    I traced the edge of the frame with my thumb my heart heavy with longing and rearet 170 When you love someone … I stared at it , lost in thought until a knock startled me from my The door creaked open and L peered in .


    Can Ie in ?