When I arrived at Choi Sung-hoon’s house, I changed into comfortable clothes and went out to the living room. I found the owner of the house sitting on a chair in front of the fireplace, cautiously looking at the tablet PC. He was so handsome with his hair down and casual attire that I was taken aback and my heart was pounding hard.?
?
Even though the house was warm as spring, I sat in front of the fireplace. It was reminiscent of Choi Sung-hoon’s home in Bucheon.?
?
On the table in front of the fireplace lay the marriage certificate. When did he bring it… A pen was neatly placed next to it.?
?
When I pretended not to notice, Choi Sung-hoon said,?
?
“Seo-yu ssi, aren’t you tired? It’s going to hurt a lot, so how about sleeping?”?
?
“It’s not even 9 o’clock yet. I don’t want to sleep yet because I don’t want to waste my time.”?
?
“…Then let’s read a book together.”?
?
Heh, reading a book. He read a book with such a scar on his cheek.?
?
Choi Sung-hoon dragged his chair over to me and sat. And I used a tablet or something to open the book file. When I saw the title, I laughed to myself.?
?
It was a book that was recommended to me when I first started seeing a psychiatric counselor. This was a book that would aid in the healing of your wounds. I hadn’t expected to see it after ten years.?
?
“I read it and it was very good. You should read it as well, Seo-yu ssi.”?
?
“I stopped reading books and smoking when I graduated from high school, but Choi Sung-hoon recommended it, so I’ll read it.”?
?
“…” ?
?
A worry-filled wrinkle appeared again between Choi Sung-hoon’s brows, and I assumed he didn’t like something I said. Something must have bothered him because he was sensitive about me.?
?
We put our heads together and began reading.?
?
Warm, drowsy, and peaceful… I felt like I was going to get drunk in the atmosphere.?
?
I raised my head after a long period of reading because I had a stiff neck.?
?
“Should I give you a paper book if you can’t concentrate?”?
?
“Whoa… Look. I read three lines. You’ll get a headache if you read for too long, so let’s take a break.”?
?
“…”?
?
Choi Sung-hoon smiled and looked at me with loving eyes. Another thing he adored about me…?
?
In fact, it was also true that I couldn’t concentrate. I have one thing to ask him.?
?
I’ve wanted to ask since I heard the story, but something big happened and I couldn’t.?
?
I put down what I was holding and looked at Choi Sung-hoon. Just in time, I made eye contact with Choi Sung-hoon, who was staring at me. Choi Sung-hoon was always paying attention to me, so when I looked at him, our gazes quickly met.?
?
“I heard it from mother… When did you start counseling?”?
?
“…”?
?
Choi Sung-hoon raised one eyebrow and then relaxed his mouth. He seemed surprised to hear the unexpected words, but soon he spoke for me, who was waiting for a response.?
?
“It hasn’t been long. Since you were admitted to the hospital and after learning that the fetus’s life was in danger.”?
?
“Did you start getting counseling so that you don’t feel sad after losing Kongkongi?”?
?
“No, to be sad.”?
?
Choi Sung-hoon’s gaze was very warm as he looked at me.?
?
I made sure he wouldn’t be offended if I asked him something very private, and, as expected, he was as gentle as warm milk.?
?
“When I first heard about it, I thought you’d be sad if the fetus ended up gone, but I wouldn’t be.”?
?
“…”?
?
“I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to comfort you. So I received counseling to be sad and to sympathize with your sadness. So that I’ll be able to comfort you.”?
?
“…”?
?
“Of course, I’m learning a lot of other things as well. As Seo-yu ssi knows, I’m not good with emotions, so I may inadvertently hurt and made you misunderstand in the future. I don’t want it to happen again, so I try to do my best.”?
?
“…”?
?
“Someday… so that you can trust me.”?
?
After saying that Choi Sung-hoon turned his gaze to the paper on the table.?
?
A marriage certificate with one blank side.?
?
As if that side would be filled if he had my trust.?
?
“I have to talk to her separately. So that Seo-yu ssi doesn’t have to worry about something like that.”?
?
“Mother? Don’t… Then it would be obvious I said it. And mother said it by mistake as well. She mistook me for the person who persuaded Choi Sung-hoon ssi to get counseling. I can’t be that nosy.”?
?
“Of course, if Seo-yu ssi advised me to go, I would have gotten it immediately. It can’t be classified as nosy.”?
?
“… Do you think counseling is effective?”?
?
“Well. What do you think, Seo-yu ssi?”?
?
I stood up and placed the tablet on the table. And when I was about to sat in Choi Sung-hoon’s arms, he opened his arms and hugged me. It was a good thing because he was a big guy who could easily embrace the 178cm Omega.?
?
I hugged him, he hugged me and looked into my eyes. Choi Sung-hoon’s eyes were overflowing with warmth.?
?
“I don’t know. If it’s effective… ”?
?
“Oh… I’ll try my best.”?
?
“It’s not like that, Choi Sung-hoon was already a warm person before the consultation. Because you’ve always been warm to me… I don’t know.”?
?
Whether he liked or disliked my answer, Choi Sung-hoon made a mysterious expression.?
?
We approached each other while still staring at each other and kissing, regardless of who went first.?
?
That night, I cried again while sleeping on Choi Sung-hoon’s arm pillow. Choi Sung-hoon, who I thought was sleeping, immediately woke up and turned on the stand light, and hugged me.?
?
As I felt the pat on my back, I thought of many things.?
?
Choi Sung-hoon was making an effort. Someone who was as clumsy as that.?
?
For my own sake.?
?
So far, I’ve never read a book recommended by my counselor. I’ve never been serious about counseling, and if I was given medicine, I just ate it.?
?
He didn’t even ask me to go to counseling because he was skeptical of it. As if he knows I’ve already counseled myself to the point of exhaustion.?
?
But now I thought about getting counseling.?
?
It was a night filled with many thoughts.?
?
* * *?
?
After spending a few days luxuriously at Choi Sung-hoon’s house, I went to the center for a post-surgery check-up.?
?
Choi Sung-hoon tried to make time somehow, but he couldn’t accompany me to the hospital because he was too busy. At the same time, a light spring rain was falling, so he was very sorry. Instead, I went to the hospital while being guarded by the gangster-like brother.?
?
The test results were very good, and the doctor said there was no need to come again. However, the mustached gangster-like brother was very solemn-.?
?
“Can I tell Director Choi that Professor Chae said he doesn’t need to come again?”?
?
When asked, the doctor reversed his words.?
?
“After all, it’s not enough to get tested once… I could be doing it carelessly… Let’s come one more time. Yes… Let’s do that.”?
?
I wondered for a moment that I wouldn’t have to attend the examination after today.?
?
The doctor said that my nutritional status was not good, so I went up to the special room where I had been staying for three weeks and was given an IV.?
?
I slept while drooling.?
?
It was 5 p.m. when I drove back to Choi Sung-hoon’s house in the car driven by the gangster-like brother. Choi Sung-hoon usually leaves work at 3 p.m., but something appears to have happened at the company today.?
?
– I’m sorry. Something happened at the factory in Yangju. I won’t be home late.?
?
“Don’t worry about me. If you’re really sorry, please take selfies from time to time and send them to me.”?
?
– A…selfie.?
?
“Yes! I‘ll be waiting for you.”?
?
Choi Sung-hoon sent a selfie five minutes after hanging up the phone. As I looked at the tightly closed mouth and blunt eyes, I burst out laughing.?
?
While I was waiting, I ate a meal prepared by the chef, read some books, and jumped into bed. The marriage certificate, which waiting to be filled on one side, was still on the bed. I was amazed again as I looked over the personal information of Choi Sung-hoon that I had read and memorized.?
?
How could such a person like me… It seems that the world must also live to know.?
?
As I smiled, I realized that one of my hands was on my lower abdomen. It became a habit in two weeks.?
?
Kongkongi stayed like a dream for two weeks and then disappeared.?
?
Now it was time for me to make up my mind.?
?
Then my phone vibrated. I thought it was Choi Sung-hoon’s selfie, but it was actually a phone call. It was from Ho-in.?
?
“Hello.”?
?
– Oh, it’s me, Seo-yu ssi. This is Park Ho-in.?
?
“Yes, it’s been a while.”?
?
– Yeah, I just… I heard from your co-workers… Really… I’m sorry…?
?
It was clear that he had only just heard it. He was shocked and didn’t know what to do. The same as Won-jo and Sung-hyun.?
?
He was a person who was friendly and warm. I was surprised at times by his change, but he was a warm person in the end. Always consistently.?
?
“Kongkonggi must have gone to a good place. Thank you, Ho-in ssi.”?
?
-…Did your Alpha give you a lot of comforts??
?
“Yes, a lot. He comforted me more than my sorrow. I wouldn’t have endured it without him.”?
?
I was so comforted that I wondered if I should act even sadder. I was so comforted that my eyes transformed into crucian carp.?
?
– Seo-yu’s ssi voice is so warm.?
?
Ho-in’s voice had a little cold tone to it.?
?
-… He’s an extremely dominant Alpha, it’s like he’s really in love.?
?
“That’s right, Ho-in ssi. He also loves me.”?
?
The sound of breathing in my ensuing words came over the phone. I said it while looking at the three words ‘Choi Sung-hoon’s’ in the marriage certificate.?
?
“An extremely dominant Alpha and a recessive Omega, maybe an Omega and an Omega. I suppose it doesn’t matter in the face of love. As Ho-in said before. I found out too late.”?
?
-…You have changed, Seo-yu ssi. You’ve changed a lot.?
?
“I’ve changed?”?
?
– Yes, you’ve changed. For the better… I guess that person changed Seo-yu ssi.?
?
Ho-in’s voice cracked.?
?
I could see it now with my eyes open. The reason for Park Ho-in’s strange behavior.?
?
This was the reason why such a gentle and kind person spoke harshly to me. I think I’ve figured it out.?
?
At the same time, I realized that I should pretend I didn’t know what I had just noticed for the rest of my life.?
?
– I’m glad you’re happy. Are you planning to return to work now??
?
“No, I left the company altogether.”?
?
– So what are you going to do now??
?
That was the problem that kept me locked up.?
?
What to do now and what to do next.?
?
… I kept thinking.?
?
– Even if it is impossible to return to work, please drop by at least once… I really want to apologize. In the meantime, about my words.?
?
“Of course. I’ll stop by later, so please make some delicious citron tea. At that time, I will go with Choi Sung-hoon.”?
?
-…Yes, Seo-yu ssi.?
?
He was the one who sent me a bad message while I was in the hospital, but now that I found out the reason, I could understand him.?
?
I wanted to tell Choi Sung-hoon that I could now understand what I would not have understood for the rest of my life if I hadn’t changed, but I’ll have to put up with it.?
?
After I hung up the phone, I closed my eyes and placed my hand on my chest to feel my heartbeat.?
?
I’ve made my decision.?
?
‘You have changed, Seo-yu ssi. You’ve changed a lot.’?
?
Because I’ve changed.?
?
I called Choi Sung-hoon. He picked it up as soon as it rang twice.?
?
– Seo-yu ssi.?
?
“Where are you now?”?
?
– I’m still in Yangju. I’ll be arriving after midnight because I’m traveling by car.?
?
“What time is it at midnight? Where are you coming from? What kind of car did you drive?”?
?
-… If you intend to pick me up, please wait at home because it is raining and cold.?
?
“Ah.”?
?
I hadn’t considered picking him up, but I was surprised because Choi Sung-hoon was making such significant progress. It was so adorable that I thought I was going to die. I wanted to record every conversation because it was so lovely.?
?
My heart was racing. I was overwhelmed as the tip of my nose turned sour with such vigor. I wasn’t a crybaby.?
?
“Choi Sung-hoon ssi, do you know this?”?
?
– This??
?
“I think I like Choi Sung-hoon ssi.”?
?
-…Did you realize it now??
?
He pretends to respond calmly, but I know he paused for a moment. Choi Sung-hoon responded that he had known for a long time and that I still had a long way to go before I could follow him.?
?
Choi Sung-hoon was so stupid that he has no idea how much I love him. I love him enough to make a decision.?
?
“I’m going to say goodbye now, Choi Sung-hoon ssi.”?
?
What??
?
“Thank you so much for everything you’ve done so far. When you’re at your happiest, it’s easy to get into an accident, so drive carefully. Okay??
?
– What do you mean? What do you mean goodbye??
?
I told him I loved him and then hung up because he was busy. I received a call right away, but I was in a rush and did not answer.?
?
I was ready to go out right away.?
?
After putting on clothes, I packed Kongkongi’s shoes and moved the marriage certificate onto the table. So that Choi Sung-hoon could see it as soon as he comes back.?
?
I ran through the residential area in Hannam-dong with an umbrella. By the time I arrived by the road, a black car ran at a tremendous speed from afar and almost got into an accident. It dashed to a nearby building’s parking lot and escaped the crisis.?
?
Choi Sung-hoon must drive safely.?
?
I was going to stop by my house, but I got on the bus as soon as I got off. The area was surrounded by familiar gangster-like brothers. If they found me, they would immediately seize me and bring me back home to Hannam-dong.?
?
I hopped back on the bus and left the neighborhood. I’d been alive far too long, so I had a lot of memories of my mother, father, and older brother in many places.?
?
A two-story chartered house where I couldn’t throw away a toothbrush or a spoon, a sushi restaurant where my father insisted on eating out occasionally, a PC room where I was with my older brother during his rebellious days, and the market entrance where my mother asked me to pick her up saying she had a lot of luggage.?
?
I was sad just passing by, and I was sad just being there, so I never went to a sushi restaurant, PC room, or market. I haven’t been anywhere in the neighborhood in ten years. It was time to say goodbye to places I tried to erase from my mind but couldn’t.?
?
The bus goes around the neighborhood and arrived at its destination after a while.?
?
It was a dark and audacious night, but there were a lot of people waiting at the train station for the last train. I was the only one who got off.?
?
The rain was falling heavily. I considered opening an umbrella, but it didn’t come very often, so I just walked in the rain.?
?
As I walked slowly there, I looked around the scenery with regret.?
?
My heart has changed since last year, but the scenery I could see has not.?
?
The river was flowing under the bridge.?
?
The surface of the black water, swaying in the rain, resembled the night sky.?
?
I gripped the railing firmly.?
?
Many thoughts raced through my mind, but that was all I did.