I keep looking down.


    "Every time you do that, you always think that I have entered a dream. In fact, many times, I am with you sleepless, but I don''t speak, I pretend to sleep, because I don''t want to disturb your self space, I dare not disturb your thinking.


    "From your tossing and turning sighs, I can see and hear your heart, the real entanglement in your heart. I think you must be entangled with what happened in those nine months."


    With a long sigh, Dong''Er guessed part of it correctly, but not all.


    "At this time, I almost can''t help but want to get up and tell you what happened in those nine months. However, I finally can''t help it. I''m afraid that if I tell the truth, you will not believe it. Instead, you will believe your original subjective conjecture, which will hurt your heart even more.


    "Yes, no one can prove for me what happened in these nine months, except myself.


    "Of course, my own performance can''t dispel your conjecture, especially when we do that. My enthusiasm based on my love for you, my eagerness to approach your world, and my own physiological instinct in bed may make you more confident in your own conjecture and increase your suspicion I can''t make it clear to you, and I can''t tell you


    "Although I can''t make it clear, I still want to say that I''m not a cheap woman.


    "If I''m a cheap woman, then I''m willing to be your cheap woman when I''m with you. I''m willing to be your cheap woman when I do that with you. Under the ravages and collisions of your body, I''m willing to be your cheap woman forever and be cheap for you!


    "Perhaps there is no need to say all this again, or to understand it again.


    "Time will tell the truth. Some things, until gradually sober, to understand it is a mistake; some things, until you really put it down, to know its heavy.


    "There is no distinction between tragedy and comedy in the world. If you can get out of tragedy, it is comedy; if you are immersed in comedy, it is tragedy. If you just wait, what happens is that you get older. The meaning of life is not to hold a good hand, but to play a bad hand.


    "The weakest part of a man is his reluctance to give up. Reluctant to give up a no longer brilliant feelings, reluctant to give up a vanity, reluctant to applause.


    "I always think that the best days will be very long, and I don''t have to lose them so soon. Just when the heart is soft and the courage is lacking, the best days pass without mercy. Sometimes, it''s not things, opportunities, or who to wait for, it''s time. Wait for time, let yourself forget, wait for time, let yourself change, give up is to get.


    "The saddest thing about people is not that they lost too much yesterday, but that they are immersed in yesterday''s sorrow. The stupidest thing about people is not that they don''t find the trap in front of them, but that they fall in again for the second time. The loneliest thing is not that the person who wants to wait has not come, but that the person has gone out of his heart.


    "Maybe I shouldn''t suspect you and Qiutong, because I can still feel your love for me all the time now. Although this love and the love I once had made me feel a little different, I am still willing to believe that you still love me, and I still love you.


    "Women in love are sensitive and suspicious. Maybe I''m too sensitive, because of time and space. Maybe I''m too suspicious, because I''m afraid of losing.


    "Sometimes, in front of you, I suddenly feel speechless. Sometimes, the extreme fear of what has been insisted on overnight beyond recognition. Sometimes, I want to indulge myself, and I want to go crazy hysterically. Sometimes, I''m afraid that you suddenly say to you, I think you have changed, and then I begin to have mixed feelings. Sometimes, I feel that I have the whole world, but for a moment I feel that I have nothing


    "Some people can''t be together, but their hearts are together; some people seem to be together, but their hearts can''t be together; some people never want to be together, but they naturally get together; some people finally get together after a lot of hard work, but find that they are not suitable to be together.


    "About us, I want to say, Xiao Ke, even if we are not together in the end, at least love will be together. Love together, just together


    "Xiao Ke, my decision to leave doesn''t mean that I don''t love you. On the contrary, because of the love between us, we need to leave temporarily. We need each other to have a space for independent thinking and practice. We need each other to face the reality and the past calmly.


    "I don''t hate you or blame you for your slap tonight, but it hurts in my face and heart!"


    I can''t help but feel the fever on my face again. I feel guilty to Dong''Er in my heart.


    "Xiao Ke, about our love, I still insist on my point of view. The material foundation determines the superstructure. Without sufficient economic conditions, love will become empty and tasteless. People can''t love with an empty stomach.


    "I admit that I can''t accept the life of poverty, I can''t bear the hard days. I like the carefree days with abundant materials. I''m used to the life of being our own boss, having enough money, cars, houses, eating, drinking and shopping at will. I even miss that time."You can think that I love vanity and want to enjoy it. I don''t refute it, I don''t deny it, because this is what I really think in my heart.


    "Your salary card has been left for you. I spent all my money on clothes recently. I left the card of ningzhou bank for you. I didn''t move the money in it. It''s 20000 Yuan your mother gave you. It''s not yours. I can''t move it! "


    Seeing this, I can''t laugh or cry in my heart. I want to laugh or cry.


    Finally, Dong''Er said: "Xiao Ke, perhaps, there is a saying that makes sense: if you love someone deeply, you should learn to stop yourself, don''t take him as all, don''t tell him everything, don''t share all the secrets with him.


    "If you put in more, you will slowly forget yourself. Those who have no self have no place in love. The only ending is that the tighter your love is grasped, the farther you escape. In the end, it can only break your dreams and let the promises blow away in the wind like flying flowers


    "I think a temporary separation is good for both of us. Maybe we should all go to find ourselves Take care of yourself. Don''t drink more, smoke less and fight with others


    After reading Dong''Er''s long letter, I was silent for a long time


    I''ve known Dong''Er for a long time. This is the first time that Dong''Er has said so many deep words to me.


    In the past, between us, more is you kiss me, hot flirting, traveling, drinking and having fun, for a deeper discussion about love and life, although occasionally, but never as deep as today.


    I smoke in silence, looking at the letter and bank card left by Dong''Er, listening to the wind and rain outside the window.


    All of a sudden, I felt cold all over. I felt the deep cold inside my body. Suddenly, it became hot again. For a moment, it was like ice was colliding. For a moment, it was like a fire burning


    Damn, how can I feel so bad? I staggered up, walked into the bedroom, climbed into the quilt, wrapped the quilt tightly, but still felt the irresistible cold and boiling heat attacking me in turn, and at the same time, I felt pain in my throat, and I didn''t dare to swallow.


    I lay for a long time and felt more and more uncomfortable. I moved my body and felt weak all over.


    I struggled to get up, went to the door and wanted to go to the hospital.


    As soon as I opened the door, I didn''t have the strength to go on, and my whole body was even more collapsed than when I broke up.


    I leaned against the door and sat on the ground. I took out my mobile phone and wanted to call Haifeng. When I got through, I couldn''t speak. My throat seemed to be blocked by something and I didn''t dare wriggle with pain.


    Listening to Haifeng''s voice at the other end of the phone, I hung up and tried to send him a short message: "I''m going to die. Come to my dormitory."


    After texting, I get confused.


    When I woke up again, I was lying in a hospital bed.


    I opened my eyes and saw a familiar face flashing in front of me.


    This face is not Haifeng''s.


    What I see is the fourth brother!


    How can the fourth brother appear here? I vaguely remember that I sent a text message to Haifeng. Later, I fell asleep. The high fever made me dizzy. Why is the fourth brother accompanying me in the hospital ward now.


    At this moment, I feel that although my body is still very empty, my throat is so sore, and my body is not hot and cold. I swallow my throat a few times, and then look at my fourth brother: "fourth brother, you What are you doing here? Where is this? What time is it? What about Haifeng? "


    I asked a series of questions.


    The fourth brother saw that I woke up, laughed, pointed to my arm and said, "lie down, don''t move, you are still carrying water."


    It was then that I realized that I had a bottle in my hand.


    "It''s eleven in the morning." Fourth brother pointed to the clock hanging on the wall: "this is the ward of the Municipal People''s Hospital Haifeng, your brother, has just received a call from his work unit. If there is something urgent, he will go to the work unit first. "


    "Oh..." I nodded that I had been sleeping so long.


    "This is a high fever caused by acute tonsillitis. When you came to the hospital, you had a fever of more than 39 degrees, and your whole body was as hot as a fireball. It was very frightening!" Fourth brother looked at me: "what''s the matter? Was it raining heavily last night?"


    I burst of wry smile, unable to answer the fourth brother''s question, but still nodded.


    "In the middle of the night, what kind of rain did you go out for? It was windy and heavy in the middle of last night. Why didn''t you take it at home The fourth brother looked at me with a smile.


    I laughed bitterly again and didn''t speak.


    The fourth brother said without hesitation: "in the early morning, I was waiting for customers at the gate of the hospital. I took a nap in the rain on the tricycle. Then I saw a car speeding up, and then a person came down from the car to hold someone outside. That person was not strong enough, and it was very hard. I went to help. At first sight, it turned out to be you I''ll help you get to the emergency room, and then


    "After settling you down, I know that brother''s name is Haifeng, and he is your friend. I told him that Haifeng is your good friend, so we have been here with you until Haifeng just had something to go out."The fourth brother said lightly. I nodded, but I didn''t believe that the fourth brother was really waiting for the guests here in the middle of the night. He must have something else. His former fourth brother''s steamed bun shop was at the door of the hospital. Maybe he was exploring something in the name of waiting for the guests.