I nodded and said, "how do you know?"


    "I saw it by chance, and I overheard it."


    "I have nothing to do with Director Cao. It''s my job to find her."


    "In fact, you can''t go to her directly for work. You are a little overstep..." Qiu Tong said half jokingly.


    "Oh I''m going to skip the next level... "


    "Look, I''m interfering in your privacy again I think it''s ultra vires. "


    "Ha ha, not really." I smile, thinking about Qiu Tong''s intention of asking me this. Does she realize the real intention of my contact with Cao Li? Or does she suspect that Cao Li and I have something disgraceful?


    Qiu Tong stood up again, went to the window, looked out of the window, and said for a moment, "Yi Ke, I have always believed in your character and personality, and in your principles of doing things."


    "Well..." I look at Qiu Tong''s figure.


    "When it comes to doing things, I always believe that no matter what I do, the premise is that I can''t harm others'' interests and don''t exchange my own gains for others'' pain Similarly, even if others have done something harmful to themselves or to their disadvantage, they may not necessarily have to take your unkind and unjust way to repay one another. " Qiu Tong said softly.


    Qiu Tong''s words made me feel a little flustered. Her words, intentionally or unintentionally, seemed to strike my heart. It seemed that she saw through the real intention of frequent contact between Cao Li and me.


    I said: "I don''t agree with you. If other people have been deliberately plotting against you and trying to hurt you, you may not be a good way to solve the problem by blindly giving in and avoiding. If you go on like this, you will become more and more passive and lose the initiative. In the end, you will be unable to defend yourself In my opinion, at an appropriate time, it is not necessarily impossible to return one report to another. If others are unkind, of course we can be unjust. This is called treating others in their own way. "


    Qiu Tong turned around and said, "it''s a good saying to treat people in their own way. I don''t deny the correctness and rationality of this saying. However, I don''t think it''s proper to treat people in a way that you are not benevolent and I''m not righteous. Maybe we have different understanding of this sentence."


    "How do you understand that?"


    "My understanding is that we should abide by the principle of being kind to others, but it does not mean that others will be friendly to us. When others offend, humiliate us, or deliberately provoke us, we might as well fight back.


    "Of course, when you fight back, you can''t say rude words or dirty words that lose your identity, and you can''t fight back too much to cause more damage to the other side. It''s often said that the point of the needle is opposite to the point of the wheat. If the other side stabs us with the point of the needle, but we fight back with a knife and a gun, it''s too much. "


    I didn''t think much of Qiu Tong''s words and said, "you are the logic of the weak I show disdain. "


    Qiu Tong laughed, sat down at his desk and looked at me: "in fact, you don''t get angry even if you despise me. However, I think it''s a wise man''s logic."


    "How can I see it?"


    Qiu Tong said: "for example, we all know the story of Yan Zi''s envoy to Chu. After Yan Zi met the king of Chu, the king of Chu looked at his height and appearance and said," I''m afraid there is no one in Qi. " Yan Zi replied, "there are more than 7000 families in Linzi, the capital of the state of Qi. People are close to each other and shoulder to shoulder. Unfolding the sleeves can block out the sun and sweat like rain. How can we say that there is no one in the state of Qi?"


    "The king of Chu said," in this case, why did you send a man like you as an envoy? " Yan Zi replied: "Qi sent envoys, each with its own target, sent wise people to visit wise monarchs, sent incompetent people to visit helpless monarchs. I was the most incompetent person, so I had to send envoys to Chu." As soon as Yanzi''s words came out, the king of Chu was immediately embarrassed.


    "The king of Chu failed this time, but he was not reconciled, so he arranged another scene to humiliate Yanzi. He invited Yanzi to drink. Just as he was happy, two men came to the king of Chu with a man. The king of Chu asked, "what are the people tied up for?" He replied, "he is from the state of Qi and has committed theft."


    "The king of Chu looked at Yanzi and asked," are the people of Qi good at stealing? " Yan Zi replied, "I''ve heard of such a thing. Orange trees grow south of the Huaihe River. If they grow north of the Huaihe River, they are orange trees. Although the leaves are similar, the fruit tastes very different. Why is that? It''s because the water and soil conditions are different. Now this man grew up in the state of Qi and didn''t steal. When he arrived in the state of Chu, he began to steal. Did the soil and water of Chu make him like to steal? " The king of Chu said with a smile, "a saint can''t joke with him. Instead, I''m looking for bad luck."


    "In the confrontation with the king of Chu, Yanzi did not say a word too much, nor did he angrily accuse the king of Chu of being rude. He just followed the words of the king of Chu and maintained his national dignity and personal dignity in the way of "the tip of a needle against the wheat". Don''t you think that he is using his wisdom to treat people with his own way? "


    I listened, but I was silent.Qiu Tong continued: "a writer has just published a book and is receiving congratulations from his peers. One man said, "I like your book, too. Who wrote it for you?" The writer immediately said, "I''m glad you like my book, so who read it for you?"


    "Obviously, this man''s words were meant to be insulting and provocative, but the writer didn''t accuse him of slander angrily, and didn''t try to find others to prove that he didn''t copy. Instead, he used the other person''s words to fight back Do you think it''s a good way to return one report to another? "


    I watched Qiutong intently and didn''t speak.


    Qiu Tong also said: "in some cases, although what others say does not involve personality and dignity, when they use their own" Tao "to speak, they can not persuade them with our" Tao ". At this time, we might as well use the other party''s" Tao "to refute him. There is a joke circulating on the Internet: a headmaster saw the students climbing the wall and asked, "why don''t you walk through the school gate?"? The student pretended to be cool and shook his head, said: "xxxxx, don''t go the ordinary way!" The principal then asked: how can you get out of such a high wall? Students then said: XX, everything is possible!


    "The headmaster then asked a few questions, and the students all answered with advertising words. When the headmaster saw that he had no choice, he said directly: Well, since your behavior of climbing the wall violated the discipline of the school, I will give you the punishment of recording a serious demerit. The students were so anxious that they didn''t find the right advertising words to deal with it. They asked directly: why? The headmaster said: xxxxx, I am in charge of my territory


    "If the principal and the students don''t use their own way of education, they will use their own words. But the headmaster borrowed the students'' way of speaking, and as a result, the students were speechless You said, "is this another way of being unkind to you and unjust to me?"


    I grinned silently and nodded: "well You have many examples


    Qiu Tong said with a smile: "there is more."


    "Speaking -"


    Qiu Tong said: "once upon a time, there was a son of a rich family who failed repeatedly and was despised by the whole family. His father was a bachelor in the cabinet at that time. He was famous all over the world and had great power. Unfortunately, this gentleman did not seem to have his share in the imperial examination. Although he had a lot of experience, he had nowhere to show it. This buried "thousand mile horse" had no choice but to sigh to himself.


    "What''s puzzling is that his son was appointed number one by the emperor when he took part in the palace examination for the first time. This gentleman was criticized by his father for losing the face of the whole family. He was not only inferior to his white haired father, but also surpassed by a yellow haired child. This gentleman is eloquent and has been silently enduring the scolding of his father.


    "One day, his father began to scold him in front of many relatives and friends. He couldn''t help refuting his father, saying: my father is a cabinet bachelor, your father is just a fisherman; my son is a famous scholar, and your son is a scholar who failed in the examination for a long time. Your father is no match for my father; your son is no match for my son. That is to say, you are short of me. Why do you scold me all day? The cabinet scholar couldn''t help laughing when he heard this plea, and he never blamed him again


    "The son of the cabinet bachelor, though not as famous as his father and son, is a debater. In the dialogue between him and his father, he used the technique of making use of his power to speak, which is equivalent to praising the other side while belittling the other side. His father reprimanded his son, and he used it to fight back against his father and set off with his son. In addition, he confronts with his father, which makes the whole debate ridiculous. Although the reason is wrong, the skill is superior, so that the cabinet scholars can no longer scold him in public


    "Therefore, for those who are not convenient for you to criticize or contradict directly, it''s very suitable to use this strategy of using other people''s strength to hit them. You slap them with a smile, and they won''t get angry, and you have achieved your goal."


    "Is this the legendary story of the spar sculls flying away?"


    "It''s not so exaggerated I just follow this story to illustrate this truth. In our marketing, we can also use this way to fight back against each other. "


    "How to use it?"


    Qiu Tong said: "for example, when you are discussing the quality of a product with a customer, the other party suddenly expresses an opinion, saying that their product is a patented product after numerous experiments, and there is no problem of substandard quality at all. If you want to refute him at this time, you''d better not refute him with any information or the test conclusion of authoritative people


    "You just need to say: you''re right, but in the process of using, the product does break down, and our operation method is completely in accordance with the instructions in the manual. I absolutely believe that the manual compiled by your company should be flawless, but how to explain it At this time, the other party will have nothing to say, but also can not be angry with you


    "I see what you mean. People who are tough or self righteous are always willing to think that they are the best debaters and that they are impeccable. In fact, this is a kind of stupid and no strategy accomplishment psychology, as long as you fight back effectively, will make the opponent obediently submitQiu Tong nodded with a smile: "exactly There are always some unreasonable and selfish people in the world. When we meet these unreasonable people, the best way is to treat them in their own way. I''m afraid that what I''m talking about here is somewhat different from your understanding just now. "


    I nodded: "well You are the wise way, I am the reckless way


    Qiu Tong said: "therefore, when we are doing things, if others hurt or infringe on you or your friends, you may not have to take extreme ways to revenge, you can use other wise ways to solve the problem


    "If the other party is unkind, we can''t be unjust. Otherwise, we will lower ourselves to the same level as the other party. If the other party is a villain, we may not see how aboveboard."