Thirty years ago, when Yan Xi was eight years old, he went to the army to experience life with Dayi and Siguan.
Children are used to being spoiled at home. When raising the flag, they are always staggering. At that time, Mr. Xin had not retired. The rank on his shoulder and the loud voice made the children self-conscious. Every time Yanxi was scolded, he would stare at him, carry a cane and stride in the dormitory and stand upright. "One, two, three" leaped to the Dayi bed and cried out: "the big knife is coming to the devil, come on, get up --"
when Dayi was a child, he liked to lie on the bed and the nurse said that he had worms in his stomach and needed to take insect repellents. Before leaving, he took two Big pieces of white medicine are always bitter, just like all reactionaries are paper tigers! As soon as the child started to cross his heart, he squeezed his eyes and took a bite. Then he saw Yan Xi''s big eyes. He shrunk his head and said, "it''s not me who scolded you. Besides, it''s really our fault. My grandfather said that he has never been such a hero of the PLA!"
Old Xin''s original words are: "you are a group of soft shelled turtles. It''s been 40 years since the founding of the people''s Republic of China. For the first time, the national flag was raised in reverse! Yan Xi, Xin Da Yi, Wen Si Guan, and so on
At that time, there were many people around, all soldiers, squinting at the sky, and sure enough, five stars were floating in the wind under the bright red cloth. At that time, Xin Dayi was scared by the old man. His eyes were full of tears, and his eyes were still covered with excrement.
As soon as Yan Xi thinks about it, he grinds and creaks his teeth, and the public is scolded. Where is his face? If you bully me, I can''t bully you. I''ll bully your grandson, so I''ll pinch Dayi just after eating sugarcane.
The tablets in Dayi''s mouth melted and had a strong aroma of fruit. His small face, which had been like a big enemy, burst into small flowers. He put the remaining half into Yan Xi''s mouth and patted his chest: "I''m scared to death. It''s sweet."
Yan Xi quipped: "PLA soldiers will not be bought by sugar coated cannons! Eh It''s so sweet... "
Da Yi Le: "sweet, really sweet!"
Siguan is turning over the picture version of Zizhi Tongjian. He is quick and quick. He grabs another piece from Dayi''s black hand and puts it into his mouth.
Dayi started to talk about the remaining sugarcane in Yanxi''s hand and chased Siguan to fight. He ran and cried: "what can I do? I only ate half, stomach still has the corpse of half a small bug, but how to do? Wensiguan, you dog traitor! Spit out my sugar
Thinking of a smile with his cheek to chew sugar, and finally gobbled it down, but did not eat out whether it was bitter or sweet.
Twenty five years ago, at the age of 13, Yan Xi was fascinated by strange tales of a lonely studio for a while. He watched the vernacular version three times and the 78 episode TV series three times. His personality broke out in class and created countless classic cartoon images of fox flowers and ghosts.
Lu Liu pointed to the little man with long hair in green and asked, "is this a man or a woman?"
Yan Xi explained enthusiastically: "male, male fox."
Lu Liu said, "I know. Does that mean that a mother seduces a man and a man seduces a woman? "
Yan Xi was right: "of course not. The main skill of the male is to help the mother seduce the male."
Lu Liu picks eyebrow: "then he should not be a fox, but a tortoise."
Yan Xi''s mouth was drawn: "for hair?"
Lu Liu turned to his case of Baogong for the third time: "it is said in the book that such a man is called Guigong."
Yan Xi was filled with indignation: "Mao, this male fox is very good. He saved a scholar and then betrothed his beautiful sister to the scholar. What a good fox! Don''t insult my fox
Lu Liu looks at the sky: "your male fox learns from Lei Feng in voluntary labor."
Yan Xi lifted the table: "your uncle''s, Lu Liu''s! Don''t insult my idol''s little fox
At that time, Yan Xi''s idol was Pu Songling.
Facts have proved that teenagers with beliefs and idols have to pay a painful price. I wonder if the fox in the book wants to marry the scholar''s sister?
Twenty years ago, when Yan Xi was 18 years old, there were no people in his paintings, but there were people in his photos.
Wen Heng asked why, Yan Xi said he couldn''t paint. He can''t draw those things in everyone''s eyes. Most of his innocence will hurt people, and his selfish desire is hidden behind his evil.
Wenheng likes to do housework, she stands on the stool, stands on tiptoe to wipe the high photo. Those pictures are easy to be pricked by color when you look at them for the first time, but the corner behind the color is always black. Ah Heng rub, can only see those black. She asked him sadly, "who do you want to shoot most?"
Yan Xi thought about it and laughed: "clown."
During the holidays, Yan Xi, aheng and Dayi played cards and were punished if they lost. Yan Xi and Da Yi were punished for drinking a bucket of water, but ah Heng was safe and sound. His face could flash on the playing cards. The child is serious about everything. But in the end, he lost three in a row. Yan Xigang poured good water, but ah Heng''s face moved away from the playing card. With a smile in his eyes, he said, "I''m a clown."
She found a colorful hat with a yellow nose, red eyes, blue lips and white face. It was funny to see. As soon as the clown grinned, Dayi grinned, and she was embarrassed to smile. She took out the ready plastic flowers from behind and changed it to Yan Xi.Yan Xi took out the camera, but did not press the shutter for a long time. He squatted on the ground, took the makeup oil to gently wipe off the oil stains. He rarely looked at her gently and said with a smile, "too many tragedies in this world are made by human beings, but I don''t want to create any more tragedies for you."
He wanted to see the clown because he was full of anger, always wondering how malicious and strange the eyes under the smiling face were. Tragedy is the same, always does not reveal people.
In those years, Lu Liu always asked him why he deviated from the same lonely self. Yanxi said, "you have never seen such a happy clown, because I am the happy clown."
Fifteen years ago, Yanxi was 23 years old and had been a djyan for a long time. At that time, he was very busy. Many people who claimed to like him wrote to him. When they couldn''t get busy, they hired a personal assistant to handle the letters.
The girl was a little absent-minded, holding a handful of letters, she yelled excitedly in the studio hall: "ah, Yan Xi, the family name of the letters is Wen!"
The whole station knows that he is waiting for a letter from Wen.
When he began to read the letter, he spread it out like a playing card, and later, he was always afraid to see the signature on the next letter.
He was afraid that the names of those people were Wen but not Heng.
Ten years ago, Yanxi was 28 years old, and his son finally learned to walk. He stood not far away, holding a piece of candy nervously, waiting for the little baby to come to him.
The little hand that the son stretches out to want the father to embrace and the smile that sees the tooth but does not see the eye, let him recall his childhood self. When he learns to walk, he always looks like a little old man with little hands on his back. There is no father''s arms ahead.
The little child finally crooked into his arms, he peeled the sugar, filled his son''s mouth, asked him if it was delicious? The baby shakes his head, but at last he kisses Yan Xi''s face. Those milk scents with the smell of candy were printed on his cheek and Yan Xi laughed.
For the first time, the little baby gently opened his mouth and called for his father. Yanxi held the small hands and said with a smile, "Bao, shout more times, and call back the father''s share."
He used to feel that he could only vent his emotions by crying freely. But how many tears do people have in their life? How many tears should a man have in his whole life?
Five years ago, Yan Xi was 33 years old. His wife had a second child. Siguan, Dayi and Yun were gambling at the door.
Think to smile big hand a pat, pressed ten yuan: "nephew!" All his life, he had been fed up with such a pungent and irritating little girl as winsell.
Da Yi hesitated and drew out twenty yuan: "son of a bitch?" He couldn''t figure out what kind of girl Yan Xisheng should look like. Sometimes just thinking about it, he felt that life was just like the scene of a car accident. He died early and was born early.
Cloud is twirling the Buddha beads and throwing 50 yuan: "nephew!" With a sneer in her heart, does NIMA want a girl? I curse you for having a son. Yes, my nephew is like an uncle!
Aheng likes to eat spicy food during this period of time. Yanxi handed over a hundred yuan and crunched his teeth and said, "female, female, female! You''re allowed to ask me to eat your ribs, and I''m not allowed to eat your ribs
Three people brush the ground in a cold sweat, Yan Xi''s mobile phone rings.
"Is it a girl?" There was a man''s voice.
"It''s not your wife. It''s none of your business to have a girl or a son. I said, Gu feibai, you''re a jerk from time to time I hope to raise my eyebrows.
"It''s OK. I just want to say that if she is a girl, please do not send her to the south of the Yangtze River. I am afraid she will harm my son The other party''s voice sounds good, but vaguely with the deep meaning of not knowing whether it is bitter or sweet.
"I fucked you Yanxi dropped the phone.
After a while, the nurse came out happily holding the baby: "Congratulations
Yan Xi shook his hands, opened the small quilt, took a look, there is a rice grain size thing, very proud.
The new-born child opened his big, muddleheaded eyes, and Yan Xi came out of grief. He pinched his son yubai''s small ear and scolded, "I didn''t plan on the whole Chinese men''s football team. What are you doing here?"
little doll as like as two peas, and smiled at the only light source, and his eyes bent like A Heng.
Yan Xi Leng for three seconds, but tightly holding the child, smiling and tearful.
as like as two peas, he thought he wanted a girl, but in fact, he wanted a wife who was exactly the same as his wife.
He hoped that God would endow his children with all the fine qualities belonging to aheng. However, as long as they were a little bit like ah Heng, even if they were stubborn, timid, cowardly, even clumsy, he felt happy beyond words.
The love between husband and wife seems so worldly and selfish. Maybe it is not a great and selfless love, but the love that has been sublimated to some unknown place will not last ten or twenty years or thirty years.
Who is rare.
This year, Yan Xi was 38 years old. He had a disease that he had to say his name for half a minute, but he didn''t know where to start again after breathing. They call it "serious illness.".
He had a good wife to be a doctor, so he never became seriously ill.
In the hospital at night, his family didn''t let him accompany him. When he peed, he had to drag a hanging bottle. He often urinated half way. He screamed in the men''s room: "blood back, blood back, doctor Wen!"The female doctor, who had been squeezed into the hospital from the Research Institute, ran up from the office, holding a bottle and scolding, "it''s not the new year''s day. What are you excited about?"
Then fixed her eyes, the needle tube was clean, without a trace of blood. She frowned and asked him, "where is the blood back?"
He is holding that doctor Wen, gently low murmur: "have, really have, just be scared by you, go back again."
But there is a sentence in my heart, but I didn''t say it out: "ah Heng, I miss you again."
When drawing blood, he cries, the louder he cries, the more painful the flesh, the less painful the heart.
When the children go to school and go to work, aheng sits in the garden of the hospital and draws pictures. Draw the sun, draw the pond, draw the Begonia, and continue to draw after drawing. Once in a while, Dr. Wen passed the garden. He said with a smile that he would not move. Ah Heng stood there watching him draw himself.
When he painted her, he never raised his head to look at his wife. Such eyebrows, eyes and smiles will never be forgotten again. He took a lot of hormone drugs, and his mood was always rising and falling suddenly. When he was agitated, he threw away his drawing paper and said to her like an enemy: "are you a nightmare? Always engraved in my heart! "
With that, she kept staring at her eyes, and she would not cry.
"We divorce, Wen Heng, you go, go!"
She put her head on his lap and gently smile, "OK, wait for you."
The hospital issued three critical notices. He bit rice grain weakly and asked her, "are you really going to be a widow?"
Ah Heng, his ah Heng, said mildly, "you can try to see whether I am a widow first or you become a widower first. If you don''t want three children without a father and a mother, you can try. In this world, is suicide much faster than your death? "
Yan Xi''s face smoked and actively cooperated with the treatment. Finally, she got a girl three years ago. She didn''t make her fat and fat. She didn''t harm Gu feibai''s son!
The 38th birthday was spent in the hospital. After cutting the cake, the attending doctor called aheng away with a dignified face.
Yan Xi watched the children eat the cake and eat. The little son, who was silent all the time, cried and fell into his arms: "Dad, Dad, are you going to die, Dad, can you not die..."
The kindergarten teacher just told them what is life and what is death.
Yan Xi hugs him, this child looks like ah Heng most. In the end, who could have thought that what hurt him most was not his eldest son, not his little daughter, but this silent gentle second son.
"Yanjing, Dad won''t die." Dad, he''s not going to tell me all his face, he''s not going to die
The little girl, who was just three years old, looked at them foolishly, but suddenly cried with her brother: "my father is lying, and my father promised last time that I would go with lumpy to pick up crabs, but my father didn''t go. My father told me the truth!"
Yan Xi said, "Dad, I can''t escape..."
Yan Qiyi, the eldest son of junior high school, was responsible for taking care of his younger brother and sister. He had held his sister well, but now he was red eyed and pulled his younger brother out of his father''s arms. The little guy is red face, tightly pulling Yan Xi''s clothes, how can not let go.
In the end, Yan Qi loosened his hand and choked: "you said you would not die. How can we believe you?"
The young man has a beautiful appearance.
He cried and pulled: "if you die, I can''t dig you out. If you die, I''ll cry to death. You don''t know. If your mother remarries I tell you, stepfather will beat us, scold us for abusing us to death! When you are finished, your children have been bullied to death by others. You dare to die... "
Yanjing and Benben cried louder.
Wen Heng watched outside for a long time. At last, the father and the son cried bitterly. The cry was really terrible. He coughed softly: "although I''m sorry to disturb your father and son''s series, I still want to say that you can be discharged from hospital."
Yan Xi tears 3000 feet: "finally declared dead?"
Ah Heng clenched his teeth: "although I''m sorry, I didn''t have the opportunity to find a stepfather to abuse the three kids of your family, but I still want to say, I hope you are cured!"
There was a silence for three minutes in the ward.
Yan Xi hugged his little son and said kindly, "we all say that dad doesn''t cheat people. Dad never cheats."
Turning around, he glared at his eldest son and scolded: "mother, go home and kneel for spareribs!"
He then smilingly touched his little daughter''s head: "stupid, dad doesn''t take you to pick small crabs, let''s go catch big sea crabs, big, big, so big."
As he drew, he peeped at his wife''s face.
Ah Heng came over and sneered: "before taking your girl to catch crabs, you should first bookmark the divorce agreement. I''m afraid you will be strangled by big crabs. There is no chance! Don''t you want a divorce? You can do it today
"What is divorce?" the soft fleshy little clumsy looked at his mother sincerelyAh Heng picked up the little girl and said, "it''s that mom doesn''t eat with dad and sleep together."
Benben thought for a while, staring at his mother, and then big eyes appeared sad tears: "but, without mom, dad will starve to death."
Yan Xi originally lowered his head, but his eyes turned red when he heard his daughter''s words. He looked up, looked at ah Heng with a smile and sighed, "ah Heng, what can I do, what can I do?"
Aheng held his daughter, and his fear, grievance and pain all disappeared. She took the back of her hand to block the dampness and heat in her eyes and choked: "you can''t die. It''s not that I don''t want to die at all."
Yan Xi was stunned, but understood her words.
At the end of the day, who would have thought that, like them, could not live without one husband and wife?
When you are young, you have to bear.
In his floating life, he finally had six records: he learned the original truth of the world in his childhood; he learned the unchangeable magnanimity of being a man by faith; he remembered suffering to remember a bit of kindness, so that people would not suffer as one''s own pain; a woman could understand true love only after suffering from gain and loss; he also remembered that his children knew how to be a parent even though he was in trouble; he also remembered the treasure of blood in his early life Expensive, not only because of me, but also because of you.
In the last one, I stumbled to know the couple''s affection, and the shadow of sadness and fear would be everywhere. But when a person was born, the baby would cry and know that this life was suffering, and no one missed. But the most important thing is to recognize that there is the same woman standing on the branch with him waiting for death or another beginning.
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